Money Talks
Executive Summary
Screenplay Video
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Promo
USP: Money Talks stands out due to its intricate plot involving corporate espionage, personal vendettas, and the moral dilemmas faced by its characters. The screenplay's unique selling proposition lies in its blend of suspense, emotional depth, and the exploration of themes like greed, loyalty, and justice.
Overview
Genres: Drama, Thriller, Crime, Mystery, Romance, Comedy, Action
Setting: Contemporary, Various locations in Philadelphia
Overview: The overall score of 7.8 indicates a generally strong screenplay with solid character development, engaging dialogue, and a compelling narrative. However, there is room for improvement in areas such as unpredictability, character changes, and genre alignment.
Themes: Revenge, Betrayal, Friendship, Crime, Redemption, Power, Family, Greed, Loyalty
Conflict and Stakes: The primary conflicts revolve around secrets, betrayal, and revenge, with characters facing life-threatening situations and moral dilemmas. The stakes are high, with lives, relationships, and reputations on the line.
Overall Mood: Tense and suspenseful
Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:
- Scene 1: The mood is tense and mysterious as Jerry's actions set the stage for the unfolding drama.
Standout Features:
- Intriguing Plot Twists: The screenplay features unexpected plot twists that keep the audience engaged and guessing.
- Complex Characters : The characters are multi-dimensional and morally ambiguous, adding depth and complexity to the story.
- Tense and Suspenseful Atmosphere : The screenplay creates a palpable sense of tension and suspense, drawing viewers into the characters' world.
- Unique Setting : The Philadelphia setting adds a distinctive backdrop to the story, enhancing the atmosphere and providing a sense of place.
- Emotional Resonance : The screenplay explores themes of loyalty, trust, and redemption, resonating with audiences on a personal and emotional level.
Comparable Scripts:
Market Analysis
Budget Estimate:$30-40 million
Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 25-54, fans of crime thrillers, mystery, and drama
Marketability: The screenplay offers a compelling mix of suspense, drama, and intrigue, with strong character development and a gripping storyline that can attract a wide audience.
The screenplay's blend of genres and complex characters make it appealing to fans of crime thrillers and mystery, offering a fresh take on familiar themes.
The screenplay's strong emotional core, engaging plot twists, and dynamic relationships make it a marketable option for audiences seeking suspenseful and character-driven narratives.
Profit Potential: Moderate to high, with potential for box office success and critical acclaim, especially if marketed effectively and supported by strong performances.
Scene Level Percentiles
Emotions Elicited Percentiles
This is a rough estimate of how the average intensity of emotions elicited in this script compare to all scripts in the Vault (all genres).
Higher isn't necessarily better. This is FYI.
Screenplay Analysis
- The screenplay excels in structure_score, pacing_score, and stakes, indicating a well-paced narrative with high stakes that keeps the audience engaged.
- The conflict_level and external_goal_score are also strong, suggesting a compelling conflict and clear external goals for the characters.
- The charactersrating and originality_score are lower, indicating a need for more developed and unique characters to enhance the story's impact.
- The engagement_score and conceptrating could be improved to make the screenplay more captivating and original.
The writer shows strengths in plot development and conflict resolution, indicating a conceptual approach to storytelling. However, focusing on character development and originality could further enhance the screenplay's depth.
Balancing Elements- To balance the screenplay, the writer should work on strengthening character_changes and emotional_impact to complement the strong plot and pacing.
- Integrating more unpredictability_score and interest_in_showing elements can add layers to the story and keep the audience intrigued.
The writer leans towards a conceptual style with a focus on plot and conflict, but there is potential to integrate more intuitive elements for a well-rounded screenplay.
Overall AssessmentThe screenplay shows promise with a solid foundation in structure and pacing. By refining character development and enhancing originality, it has the potential to be a compelling and engaging story.
How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library
|
|
Percentile | Before | After |
---|---|---|---|---|
Script Visual Impact | 8.50 | 81 | Sherlock Holmes: 8.25 | a few good men: 8.50 |
Script Structure | 8.31 | 77 | 500 days of summer: 8.30 | a few good men: 8.31 |
Scene Pacing | 8.41 | 68 | Amadeus: 8.40 | Breaking bad, episode 306: 8.43 |
Scene Formatting | 8.31 | 66 | a few good men: 8.29 | El Mariachi: 8.31 |
Scene External Goal | 7.31 | 58 | Memento: 7.30 | scream : 7.33 |
Scene High Stakes | 7.8 | 58 | American Hustle: 7.7 | Shaun of the Dead: 7.8 |
Scene Conflict Level | 7.8 | 55 | Birdman: 7.7 | Spy kids: 7.8 |
Scene Dialogue | 7.7 | 52 | Sherlock Holmes: 7.6 | Erin Brokovich: 7.7 |
1 | 50 | - | Get Out: 1 | |
1 | 50 | - | Get Out: 1 | |
Scene Plot | 7.9 | 49 | 2001: 7.8 | the 5th element: 7.9 |
Scene Internal Goal | 8.03 | 48 | Witness: 8.02 | There's something about Mary: 8.03 |
Scene Unpredictability | 7.51 | 46 | Oppenheimer: 7.48 | Titanic: 7.51 |
Scene Character Changes | 6.8 | 45 | Enemy of the State: 6.7 | True Blood: 6.8 |
Script Characters | 8.25 | 45 | The Hudsucker Proxy: 8.00 | Erin Brokovich: 8.25 |
Scene Emotional Impact | 7.6 | 42 | Fleabag: 7.5 | True Blood: 7.6 |
Scene Story Forward | 8.0 | 40 | Midsommar: 7.9 | severance (TV): 8.0 |
Scene Concept | 8.0 | 39 | Poor Things: 7.9 | a few good men: 8.0 |
Scene Overall | 8.2 | 34 | Almost Famous: 8.1 | a few good men: 8.2 |
Scene Engagement | 8.87 | 27 | The Hudsucker Proxy: 8.86 | Her: 8.87 |
Script Originality | 8.00 | 26 | Midsommar: 7.75 | True Blood: 8.00 |
Script Premise | 7.50 | 24 | Zootopia: 7.25 | fight Club: 7.50 |
Scene Originality | 8.28 | 23 | El Mariachi: 8.26 | The shining: 8.29 |
Scene Characters | 8.0 | 23 | Enemy of the State: 7.9 | Knives Out: 8.0 |
Overall Script | 7.80 | 22 | LA confidential - draft: 7.79 | True Blood: 7.80 |
Script Structure | 7.50 | 19 | Memento: 7.25 | True Blood: 7.50 |
Script Emotional Impact | 7.00 | 6 | 500 days of summer: 6.50 | Her: 7.00 |
Script Conflict | 7.00 | 6 | 500 days of summer: 6.75 | Breaking Bad: 7.00 |
Script Theme | 7.00 | 0 | - | Inception: 7.00 |
Writer's Voice
Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by a blend of emotional depth, realistic dialogue, and tense interactions between characters. The dialogue is sharp, direct, and impactful, revealing the characters' emotions and motivations effectively.
Best representation: Scene 10 - Mysterious Encounter at Gio Cucina Restaurant. This scene is the best representation because it effectively conveys tension, character depth, and thematic complexity through sharp dialogue and subtle character actions, showcasing the writer's unique voice in creating suspenseful and emotionally resonant moments.
Memorable Lines:
- Myles: Jerry Kowalski was found floating face down in the river this morning. They say he killed himself. (Scene 22)
- Beck: I'm gonna kill you! (Scene 33)
- Myles: I said shoot her! (Scene 35)
- Alex: My brother's been shot. I think he's dead. (Scene 27)
- Giovanni: Chi Trova un Amico, Trova un Tesoro – He Who Finds a Friend, Finds a Treasure. (Scene 12)
Writing Style:
The screenplay exhibits a writing style characterized by sharp dialogue, tension-filled interactions, and complex character dynamics. It delves into moral dilemmas, power struggles, and unexpected twists in the narrative.
Style Similarities:
- David Mamet
- Aaron Sorkin
Story Shape
Emotions Elicited
Engine: Claude
Recommend
Executive Summary
Money Talks is a compelling crime drama that follows the intricate web of power, greed, and betrayal within the Philadelphia business world. The screenplay skillfully weaves together multiple storylines, complex characters, and high-stakes conflicts, creating an engaging and suspenseful narrative. With its strong character development, well-paced plot, and thematic depth, the script stands out as a strong contender for film adaptation.
- The character development of Jerry Kowalski is a strength of the screenplay. His backstory, motivations, and actions are well-established, making him a complex and compelling protagonist. high ( Scene 11 )
- The pacing and tension of the screenplay are well-executed, particularly in the scenes where Alex and Katie are pursued and endangered. The screenplay maintains a sense of urgency and high-stakes throughout these sequences. high ( Scene 22 )
- The introduction of the character Ruby and the unique approach to hacking the Trezor device adds a fresh and engaging technical element to the narrative, which helps to differentiate the screenplay from more traditional crime dramas. medium ( Scene 32 )
- The screenplay's thematic exploration of themes such as loyalty, redemption, and the corrupting influence of power are strong and add depth to the narrative. high ( Scene )
- The resolution of the story, where Alex entrusts the Trezor device to Tony Cottelle, a character established as a trustworthy ally, provides a satisfying conclusion to the narrative and a sense of hope for the future. medium ( Scene 38 )
- The introduction of Alex and Sam's relationship could be further developed to provide more context and insight into their dynamic, which would heighten the emotional impact of Sam's eventual demise. medium ( Scene 3 )
- The scene where Debbie betrays Giovanni could be expanded upon to better explore her motivations and the internal conflict she experiences, as this is a critical plot point in the narrative. medium ( Scene 14 )
- The confrontation between Sam and Mo and Lou could be further developed to provide more insight into Sam's actions and the consequences of his choices, which would strengthen the overall narrative arc. medium ( Scene 20 )
- The inclusion of additional character backstories and development, particularly for supporting characters like Debbie and Katie, could help to further flesh out the world of the screenplay and create a more immersive experience for the audience. medium ( Scene )
- While the overall pacing of the screenplay is strong, there are a few instances where the narrative could potentially feel rushed or underdeveloped, and additional refinement in these areas could enhance the overall storytelling. medium ( Scene )
- The screenplay could potentially benefit from the inclusion of additional subplots or narrative threads that further explore the complex web of alliances, betrayals, and power struggles within the Philadelphia business community, providing a richer and more nuanced portrayal of the setting and its inhabitants. medium ( Scene )
- While the screenplay does an admirable job of exploring the emotional and personal lives of the central characters, there may be an opportunity to further develop the relationships and dynamics between some of the supporting characters, which could add additional layers of depth and complexity to the narrative. low ( Scene )
- The screenplay could potentially benefit from the inclusion of additional visual or sensory elements that help to immerse the audience in the world of the story, such as more detailed descriptions of the setting, the use of specific sounds or music, or the inclusion of more vivid and evocative imagery. low ( Scene )
- The scene where Jerry Kowalski confronts Alex and questions his loyalties is a standout moment, as it provides insight into the complex power dynamics and moral ambiguities at play within the narrative. high ( Scene 11 )
- The sequence where Alex and Katie evade their pursuers and find refuge with Ruby is a thrilling and well-executed set piece, showcasing the screenplay's ability to create high-stakes, suspenseful moments. high ( Scene 30 )
- The climactic confrontation on Myles Bass's yacht, with its shifting alliances and unexpected twists, is a notable highlight that demonstrates the screenplay's ability to deliver a satisfying and impactful conclusion to the narrative. high ( Scene 35 )
- The scene where Alex entrusts the Trezor device to Tony Cottelle, a character established as a trustworthy ally, provides a sense of hope and redemption, offering a thoughtful and compelling resolution to the central conflict. medium ( Scene 38 )
- The final scene, which shows Alex and Katie visiting Sam's grave and toasting to Giovanni's memory, is a poignant and emotionally resonant moment that reinforces the themes of friendship, loss, and the enduring legacy of the characters. medium ( Scene 39 )
- Underdeveloped Supporting Characters While the screenplay does an excellent job of developing the central characters, such as Alex, Katie, and Jerry Kowalski, there are opportunities to further flesh out some of the supporting characters, such as Debbie, Sam, and Tony Cottelle. Providing more backstory, motivations, and character arcs for these individuals could help to create a more well-rounded and immersive world for the audience. medium
- Missed Opportunities for Visual Storytelling The screenplay predominantly focuses on the dialogue and character interactions, which is a strength, but there may be missed opportunities to incorporate more visual storytelling elements that could enhance the cinematic experience. For example, more detailed descriptions of the setting, the use of specific sounds or music, or the inclusion of more vivid and evocative imagery could help to further immerse the audience in the world of the story. low
- Pacing Issues While the overall pacing of the screenplay is strong, there are a few instances where the narrative could potentially feel rushed or underdeveloped, particularly in some of the transitional scenes. Careful attention to maintaining a consistent and well-balanced pace throughout the story could help to enhance the overall storytelling and ensure that the audience remains engaged and invested in the characters and their journeys. medium
- Occasional Expository Dialogue There are a few instances where the dialogue feels a bit too expository, with characters providing unnecessary explanations or information that could be more seamlessly integrated into the narrative. Refining these moments to create more natural and believable conversations could help to improve the overall flow and authenticity of the screenplay. low
Engine: GPT4
Consider
Executive Summary
Money Talks is a compelling screenplay that combines elements of thriller and drama with a strong narrative and well-developed characters. The plot revolves around a high-stakes conflict involving corporate greed, personal loyalty, and the quest for justice. While the screenplay has several strengths, including its pacing and character development, there are areas that need improvement, such as consistency in themes and some unresolved plot threads.
- Strong opening scene that sets the tone and introduces the central conflict. high ( Scene 1 )
- Effective use of dialogue to reveal character motivations and advance the plot. high ( Scene 11 )
- Emotional depth in character interactions, especially in moments of crisis. medium ( Scene 36 )
- Well-paced narrative that maintains suspense and keeps the audience engaged. high ( Scene 29 )
- Satisfying resolution that ties up major plot threads and provides character closure. high ( Scene 39 )
- Inconsistent themes and character motivations that need to be clarified. high ( Scene 23 )
- Some plot threads are left unresolved, which can leave the audience unsatisfied. medium ( Scene 17 )
- Certain scenes feel rushed and could benefit from additional development. medium ( Scene 35 )
- Character development for secondary characters could be improved. low ( Scene 14 )
- Dialogue in some scenes is overly expository and could be more natural. medium ( Scene 16 )
- Lack of backstory for key characters, which would add depth to their motivations. medium ( Scene 21 )
- More detailed explanation of the corporate espionage elements to enhance believability. medium ( Scene 10 )
- Additional scenes to show the impact of the events on the broader community. low ( Scene 28 )
- Further exploration of the relationship dynamics between Alex and Katie. medium ( Scene 31 )
- A clearer resolution for the secondary characters' arcs. low ( Scene 37 )
- Strong antagonist in Myles Bass, whose presence adds significant tension. high ( Scene 6 )
- Effective use of setting to create mood and atmosphere. medium ( Scene 12 )
- Innovative plot device with the Trezor Model T, adding a modern twist to the story. medium ( Scene 33 )
- Thematically rich dialogue that explores moral and ethical dilemmas. medium ( Scene 38 )
- Satisfying conclusion that provides a sense of closure and justice. high ( Scene 39 )
- Thematic Consistency The screenplay occasionally struggles with maintaining consistent themes and character motivations. For example, Giovanni's motivations are sometimes unclear, and the corporate espionage elements could be better integrated into the overall narrative. medium
- Expository Dialogue Some scenes rely too heavily on expository dialogue to convey information, which can feel unnatural. For instance, in Sequence 16, the dialogue is overly explanatory and could be more subtle. medium
Screenplay Insights:
Premise: 7.5, The screenplay's premise demonstrates a solid foundation, with a clear narrative hook and intriguing character arcs that have the potential to engage the audience. However, certain areas could be further developed to enhance the overall intrigue and depth of the story, particularly in terms of originality and clarity of the central conflict. See More
Structure: 7.5, The screenplay's structure and plot effectively support the narrative, with a clear progression of events and well-defined character arcs. However, there are opportunities to enhance the pacing and increase the stakes in certain sections. Overall, the screenplay demonstrates a strong foundation with room for refinement. See More
Theme: 7, The screenplay effectively explores themes of loyalty, justice, and redemption, with a clear message about the consequences of ruthless ambition. However, there is room for improvement in the originality of the theme and the integration of messages within the plot. The themes are relevant and impactful, but their clarity and impact could be strengthened. See More
Visual Impact: 8.5, The screenplay's visual imagery is vivid, creative, and effectively supports the narrative. The descriptions are detailed and immersive, drawing the reader into the world of the story. The visual style is consistent and original, with a strong sense of dynamism and practicality for production. See More
Emotional Impact: 7, The screenplay effectively elicits emotional responses through its complex characters and intriguing plot. However, there is room for improvement in deepening the emotional arcs and ensuring emotional consistency. See More
Conflict: 7, The screenplay effectively presents conflict and stakes, with room for enhancement in escalation and resolution satisfaction. The characters' arcs and relationships are compelling, and the themes of revenge and betrayal are well-integrated within the narrative. However, there is potential for deeper conflict and higher stakes to increase narrative tension and audience engagement. See More
Originality: 8, The screenplay showcases strong originality and creativity in its character development and thematic depth, offering a unique blend of mystery, suspense, and interpersonal relationships. The characters are well-defined, and the narrative structure effectively builds tension and intrigue. See More
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Summaries
- Jerry Kowalski, at the Bass Headquarters, downloads something on his laptop while having a coughing fit. He destroys a model skyscraper in a display case after interacting with a maintenance man. The scene is tense and mysterious, with a hint of unresolved conflict regarding Jerry's health issues.
- Jerry places drives in lockers at the train station before meeting Giovanni in Rittenhouse Square. He gives Giovanni keys that will either ruin Myles Bass or make Giovanni wealthy. Jerry confides in Giovanni and entrusts him with important keys, expressing his desire for revenge. The conflict revolves around Jerry's plan and Giovanni's decision to participate, which is resolved as Giovanni agrees to help. The scene ends with Giovanni inviting Jerry to a meal at the restaurant.
- Sam confronts Alex in his messy apartment about his behavior and the state of the place. They banter about various topics, including Alex's relationship with Katie and Sam's past as a dealer. The scene ends with Sam finding his stash of marijuana and leaving Alex's apartment.
- Alex arrives at Jenny's residence where he interacts with Jenny, who appears confused and agitated, and an aide who assists her. Katie rushes past Alex, handing money to the aide before getting into a car. Alex is captivated by Katie, leaving him enchanted as the scene ends.
- Katie and Alex drive in silence to work, discussing their personal lives and relationships. They bond over music and family stories before arriving at the restaurant where they work. Despite initial frustration about being late, Katie and Alex connect through conversation and empathy, with Katie inviting Alex to join her at Smokies after work. The scene ends with them walking into Gio Cucina together.
- Myles Bass is shocked to learn from Sampers that their crypto accounts have been emptied and certain files are missing. Suspecting Jerry's involvement, Myles demands to know what files are missing, creating a tense and suspenseful atmosphere outside Bass Headquarters during the day. The scene ends with Myles waiting for Sampers to reveal more information.
- Giovanni Gianca leaves his condo in a good mood, drives his burgundy corvette to the restaurant, and tosses the keys in the air as he walks up the steps. Beck is parked on the opposite side of the street watching Giovanni. The scene takes place outside Gio Cucina during the day with an upbeat and positive tone. There are no conflicts or dialogue in this scene. The visual of Giovanni driving his corvette and tossing the keys in the air are significant elements before he walks up the steps to the restaurant.
- Sam and Debbie discuss the need for more capacity at Gio Cucina restaurant at night. Katie approaches with a complaint about a table that stiffed her, leading to a brief argument with Sam. The scene ends with Katie walking into the kitchen after calling Sam an 'ass hole'.
- Giovanni and Sam have a tense conversation about a potential business deal at Gio Cucina. Despite Sam's attempts to persuade Giovanni, he remains uninterested. The scene ends with Giovanni revealing a hidden safe behind a picture on the wall and dismissing Sam's offer, leaving a sense of mystery and intrigue.
- Jerry drives to a restaurant and notices a black SUV following him. He whispers to himself as he hands his keys to the valet. The tension builds as the SUV parks after Jerry enters the restaurant, leaving the conflict unresolved.
- Jerry enters Gio Cucina Restaurant and questions Alex about the potential demolition of the restaurant. Alex reveals his military background as a cook and serves Jerry wine. Giovanni briefly reassures Jerry, and a couple at another table briefly interrupts their conversation. The scene ends with Jerry smiling after Alex promises to get his steak.
- Alex takes a break outside Gio Cucina Restaurant and observes Katie crying in a booth. Giovanni comforts her and they have a conversation about loyalty, friendship, and the challenges they face. The emotional tone is reflective as Giovanni emphasizes the importance of relationships and advises Alex to talk to Sam to learn from mistakes and make wise decisions.
- Lou and Mo confront Jerry in a parking lot by the river about a stolen item, but the situation escalates when Jerry chooses to take his own life rather than give them the information they seek. The tense and suspenseful scene ends with Lou disposing of Jerry's body in the river.
- Mo and Lou sit in silence in Mo's car at night. Lou expresses concern about Mr. Bass not being happy and his own financial worries. Lou starts the car and mentions he's tired. The conflict arises from Lou's worries about Mr. Bass and his financial situation, adding tension to the scene. Mo responds sarcastically to Lou's concerns, creating a tense atmosphere. The scene ends with Lou looking away after acknowledging the truth of Mo's statement about his financial situation.
- Alex tries to enter the Smokies night club but is initially stopped by the bouncer. Katie steps in and convinces the bouncer to let Alex in by offering him a dance. The conflict is resolved and Alex awkwardly thanks the bouncer before entering the club.
- Katie and Alex dance confidently at a club while Giovanni and Debbie have a tense conversation at a restaurant. Sam steals something from Giovanni's office and interacts with Debbie, leading to further conflicts. Debbie then meets with Myles Bass on the street for a suspenseful negotiation.
- Beck receives a phone call instructing him to follow Sam, who has the keys. Sam locks up the restaurant and drives off, unaware of being followed by a black SUV. The scene is filled with suspense and mystery as the outcome remains unknown.
- Sam, driving his Porsche at night, realizes he is being followed by a black SUV. He quickly outmaneuvers them, performs a U-turn, and calls Alex for help. The tense and suspenseful scene ends with Sam successfully evading his pursuers and seeking assistance from Alex.
- Sam rushes into Smokies, bypasses the line, gives the bouncer money, and urgently hands Alex an envelope with keys, instructing him to find Ruby. Alex agrees to help but Katie is nowhere to be found as Sam quickly leaves, leaving Alex to search for her.
- Sam is confronted by Lou and Mo at his house in suburban Philadelphia. They accuse him of taking a drive that Jerry gave to Giovanni, leading to a violent interrogation. Despite Sam denying having the drive, Mo shoots him in the knee cap. Sam tries to fight back, injuring Lou in the process, but ultimately falls unconscious. Lou and Mo decide to leave Sam alive, fearing he may go to the cops.
- Myles Bass is frustrated and looking for Jerry at Bass Headquarters, while his secretary Nancy tries to assist him. Myles expresses his anger by slamming his hand on the desk, emphasizing his impatience. The conflict arises from Jerry's disappearance, and the scene ends with Myles determined to find him while Nancy continues to offer help.
- Lou and Mo are at a diner at night, where Shelley serves them coffee and banter with Mo. Lou updates Myles on Jerry's situation. The scene then shifts to Gio Cucina in Philadelphia during the day, where Alex interacts with Mr. Cottelle and Giovanni. Myles and Carrie arrive, causing tension between Giovanni and Myles. The scene ends with Giovanni taking Alex upstairs, leaving the audience curious about what will happen next.
- Giovanni collapses in his office at Gio Cucina after finding his wall safe empty. Alex performs CPR while Debbie calls 911 for help. Giovanni struggles to breathe and asks for the keys before paramedics arrive, leaving the situation unresolved as the scene ends.
- Alex and Debbie receive news from the doctor that Sam will be okay but needs to stay for observation. Relieved, they decide to go home and get some rest after a tense wait in the hospital hallway at night. Debbie tries to lighten the mood by smirking in the elevator before they leave.
- Debbie gets into her car outside the hospital at night, makes a secretive phone call to give instructions to someone, and then drives off. The tone is mysterious and suspenseful as Debbie sets up a potential future conflict or event with her dialogue over the phone.
- Alex is ambushed by Mo and Lou in his apartment at night. They are looking for something Sam gave him. Lou aggressively searches the apartment while Alex defends himself. Alex manages to overpower Lou and Mo, retrieves an envelope with keys, and escapes, leaving Mo and Lou behind.
- Alex arrives at Sam's house to find his brother lying dead in the living room, with bloodied hands he attempts CPR and calls for help in a desperate attempt to save him. Despite his efforts, Sam is already deceased, leading to a heartbreaking realization for Alex.
- Detective Fitzmillen questions Alex about his brother's death and involvement in drug dealing at Sam's house. Despite Alex's reluctance to fully cooperate, the detective discovers a large bag of marijuana in the house. The tense and somber scene ends with Fitzmillen leaving after questioning Alex about any suspicious behavior his brother may have exhibited.
- Alex retrieves a bag from a locker at the train station, only to be confronted by Beck who threatens him with a gun and forces him into a bathroom stall. Beck robs Alex at gunpoint, leaving him bleeding in the bathroom stall.
- Beck arrives at his dilapidated home, retrieves a flash drive from a bag of cash, realizes it's wrong, rushes to his computer to check it, then leaves the house in a hurry. Alex receives the flash drive from Beck, logs into a website, communicates with Ruby, and agrees to meet her at an old warehouse.
- Katie is shocked when Alex informs her of Sam's murder outside her apartment at night. He shows her a mysterious flash drive, which they both try to decipher. The scene ends with Alex putting the flash drive back in his pocket after Katie examines it, leaving the mystery unresolved.
- Alex and Katie approach a boarded up warehouse on Vine Street at night and are greeted by a blinding light from a camera. They are led by Ruby to a cellar beneath the warehouse, where the scene ends with them climbing down into the cellar.
- Alex and Katie are taken to a dimly lit warehouse where they are interrogated by Beck and Tommy. Tommy tries to get the passcode from Alex while Beck becomes violent towards Katie. A struggle ensues, but Alex eventually overpowers Tommy and Beck, saving Katie from further harm.
- Katie and Alex have a heartfelt conversation in her apartment building, while Myles grows increasingly frustrated at headquarters. The conflict revolves around recent events, with Myles demanding answers and taking action, while Katie and Alex show concern for each other's well-being. The scene ends with Myles angrily calling for Beck and preparing to leave in a car.
- Alex is lured to Myles' yacht where he finds Katie held at gunpoint. A tense standoff ensues, resulting in a shootout where Myles and Lou are killed. The scene takes place on Myles' yacht in the Atlantic Ocean during the day. The main conflict is Alex trying to save Katie from Myles and Lou's threats, which is resolved through a series of gunshots. The emotional tone is intense and suspenseful, with key dialogue including Myles ordering Lou to shoot Katie and the final confrontation that leads to Myles and Lou's deaths. The scene ends with Myles falling overboard after being shot, leaving Alex and Katie in a state of shock and relief.
- Alex, a patient with bandages on his hand, foot, and leg, is in his hospital room where Katie, the caregiver, brings a wheelchair for him to use. Despite Alex's protest that he can walk, Katie insists it's hospital policy. The conflict is resolved when Alex reluctantly sits in the wheelchair, conveying a tone of frustration and resignation.
- Alex and Katie enter Alex's apartment where Alex retrieves a Trezor device hidden under a floorboard. He contemplates what to do with it, reflecting on Giovanni's advice about decisions defining a person. Ultimately, Alex decides to put the Trezor in an envelope with the passcode written on it, resolving his internal conflict.
- Tony Cottelle meets with Alex at Starbucks to discuss the future of Gio Cucino. Alex entrusts Cottelle with an envelope from Gio, symbolizing trust and responsibility. Cottelle agrees to help, addressing the conflicts of Gio's murder and the uncertainty of Gio Cucino's future. The scene ends with Cottelle taking the envelope, leaving Alex with hope and reliance on him.
- Alex visits his brother's grave with Katie, sharing updates on his life and toasting to Giovanni's memory. Two years later, Alex, Katie, and Mr. Cottelle dine at Gio Cucina restaurant, discussing plans for the restaurant and Alex's upcoming wedding. The scene transitions to Giovanni relaxing on a beach in Positano.
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Character Sam Raines
Description Sam's behavior in the apartment with Alex seems out of character for someone who is supposed to be an investor and successful. His childlike antics and casual drug use suggest a less mature, more irresponsible persona that doesn't align with the impression of him being a savvy businessman.
( Scene 3 (INT. ALEX'S APARTMENT - DAY) ) -
Character Alex Raines
Description Alex's behavior shifts between that of an ambitious, hardworking restaurant employee to a more passive, unquestioning figure when speaking with Jerry Kowalski. His willingness to entertain Jerry's provocative questions about what he would do in certain situations seems out of character for someone in his position.
( Scene 3 (INT. ALEX'S APARTMENT - DAY) Scene 11 (INT. GIO CUCINA RESTAURANT - NIGHT) ) -
Character Giovanni Gianca
Description Giovanni's behavior shifts dramatically from a confident, defiant business owner unwilling to sell his restaurant to a seemingly defeated, resigned figure following the news of Jerry's death. This abrupt change in his demeanor and outlook seems at odds with the strong-willed personality established earlier in the script.
( Scene 9 (INT. GIO CUCINA - NIGHT) Scene 22 (INT. HEADQUARTERS - DAY) )
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Description The change in time of day between the first and sixth sequences creates a continuity issue, as it's unclear whether the events are happening on the same day or different days. This could lead to confusion for the reader/viewer.
( Scene 1 (INT. BASS HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT) Scene 6 (EXT. BASS HEADQUARTERS - DAY) ) -
Description The timeline of events between Sam's shooting and Alex and Katie's encounter with Beck is unclear. It's not evident how much time has passed or how Alex and Katie ended up at the hospital, creating a potential coherence issue in the narrative.
( Scene 20 (EXT. SUBURBAN PHILADELPHIA - NIGHT) Scene 25 (EXT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT) )
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Description The script does not explain how Sam was able to evade Mo and Lou after they were following him in their car. This creates a significant plot hole, as it's unclear how Sam was able to lose them and end up at his house, where he was later found shot.
( Scene 17 (INT. SAM'S PORSCHE - NIGHT) Scene 20 (EXT. SUBURBAN PHILADELPHIA - NIGHT) ) -
Description The script does not provide a clear explanation for why the police do not seem to investigate the connection between the large stash of marijuana found in Sam's house and his involvement in criminal activities. This plot hole undermines the credibility of the police investigation and the overall narrative.
( Scene 28 (INT. SAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT) )
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Description The dialogue between Sam and Alex, particularly the casual references to prison and sexual innuendos, feels somewhat exaggerated and not entirely authentic to the characters' relationship and dynamic.
( Scene 3 (INT. ALEX'S APARTMENT - DAY) ) -
Description The dialogue between Jerry and Alex, where Jerry probes Alex about his views on the situation with the restaurant, seems overly direct and expositional, possibly straining the authenticity of the conversation.
( Scene 11 (INT. GIO CUCINA RESTAURANT - NIGHT) )
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Element Dialogue
( Scene 5 (INT. ALEX'S CAR - DAY) Scene 9 (INT. GIO CUCINA - NIGHT) )
Suggestion The dialogue between Alex and Katie in the car, where they discuss Gio Cucina's potential sale, could be streamlined or rearranged, as it is later revisited in the conversation between Giovanni and Alex in the restaurant. -
Element Action
( Scene 1 (INT. BASS HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT) Scene 6 (EXT. BASS HEADQUARTERS - DAY) )
Suggestion The repeated action of Jerry Kowalski's coughing fit could be consolidated into a single sequence to avoid redundancy in the narrative.
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
---|---|---|---|
Jerry | Jerry starts off as a mysterious and destructive character dealing with a serious illness. As the story progresses, he reveals his sense of duty and desire for redemption, leading him to seek revenge and justice against Myles Bass. Jerry's arc culminates in a shocking confrontation where he sacrifices himself for his beliefs, showcasing his growth and complexity as a character. | The character arc for Jerry is well-developed and engaging, showcasing his transformation from a troubled individual to a determined and morally-driven character. However, there could be more clarity in his motivations and inner turmoil throughout the screenplay to enhance the audience's connection with his journey. | To improve the character arc for Jerry, consider incorporating more flashbacks or dialogue that delve into his past traumas and the events that shaped his sense of justice and desire for revenge. This will provide a deeper understanding of his character and make his arc more impactful for the audience. |
Giovanni | Giovanni starts off as a loyal friend with a strong moral compass, but as the story progresses, his hidden motives and questionable business practices come to light. He is forced to confront his darker side and make difficult decisions that challenge his values. Ultimately, Giovanni must choose between loyalty and personal gain, leading to a moment of vulnerability and growth where he realizes the true importance of his relationships and the impact of his actions. | The character arc for Giovanni is well-developed, showcasing his internal conflict and growth throughout the story. However, there could be more clarity in highlighting the specific events or interactions that lead to his transformation. Additionally, Giovanni's darker side could be further explored to add depth to his character and create more tension in the narrative. | To improve the character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that directly challenge Giovanni's values and force him to confront his darker motives. This could involve adding conflicts with other characters or external threats that push Giovanni to make morally ambiguous decisions. Additionally, provide more insight into Giovanni's backstory and motivations to enhance the complexity of his character and create a more compelling arc. |
Alex | Alex's character arc in the screenplay follows his transformation from a grieving brother seeking justice to a resilient and hopeful individual who finds closure and embraces new beginnings. He starts off as a passive observer but becomes an active participant in the conflict, taking risks to protect himself and uncover the truth about his brother's death. Through his journey, Alex learns to confront his fears, face his past, and ultimately find peace. | The character arc for Alex is well-developed and engaging, showcasing his growth and transformation throughout the feature. However, there could be more clarity in his motivations and internal struggles, especially in the middle of the screenplay where his character development seems to plateau. Additionally, some scenes could benefit from more nuanced interactions and emotional depth to further highlight Alex's complexity. | To improve the character arc for Alex, consider delving deeper into his internal conflicts and motivations, particularly during the middle of the screenplay where his growth seems stagnant. Add more nuanced interactions and emotional depth to showcase Alex's complexity and provide a clearer understanding of his journey. Additionally, explore opportunities for Alex to confront his past traumas and fears more directly, allowing for a more impactful and satisfying resolution to his character arc. |
Sam | Sam starts off as a sarcastic and confrontational individual, driven by ambition and a desire for success. However, as the story progresses, he undergoes a significant change when faced with a dangerous situation that challenges his beliefs and values. Through this experience, Sam learns to embrace his vulnerability and confront his inner turmoil, ultimately leading to a transformation where he becomes more emotionally open and willing to take risks for the greater good. | The character arc for Sam is well-developed and engaging, showcasing a journey of growth and self-discovery. However, there could be more clarity in the transition from his tough exterior to his vulnerable side. Additionally, the emotional depth of Sam's relationship with his brother could be further explored to enhance the impact of his transformation. | To improve the character arc, consider adding more scenes that delve into Sam's past and his relationship with his brother, providing a stronger emotional foundation for his transformation. Additionally, focus on creating more nuanced moments of vulnerability and self-reflection for Sam to showcase his internal struggles and growth more effectively. |
Katie | Katie starts off as a hurried and mysterious character, but as the story progresses, her compassionate and supportive side shines through. She forms strong bonds with the other characters, especially Alex, and becomes a pillar of strength and loyalty in the face of danger and betrayal. Throughout the screenplay, Katie's character arc shows her evolving from a mysterious and guarded individual to a caring and empathetic friend who is willing to go to great lengths to protect those she cares about. | The character arc for Katie is well-developed and allows for growth and depth throughout the screenplay. However, there could be more exploration of Katie's backstory and motivations to further enhance her complexity as a character. Additionally, there could be more opportunities for Katie to showcase her strengths and vulnerabilities in different situations to create a more dynamic and engaging character arc. | To improve the character arc for Katie, consider incorporating flashbacks or dialogue that provide insight into her past experiences and how they have shaped her into the person she is today. This will add depth to her character and help the audience better understand her actions and decisions. Additionally, create more moments of conflict and resolution for Katie to showcase her strengths and vulnerabilities, allowing for a more dynamic and engaging character arc. |
Myles | Myles starts off as a powerful and authoritative figure, driven by control and authority. As the story progresses, his manipulative and ruthless nature becomes more apparent, leading to conflicts with other characters. Eventually, Myles's relentless pursuit of power causes his downfall, as his actions catch up with him and he faces the consequences of his ruthless behavior. | The character arc for Myles is well-developed, showcasing his descent from a powerful figure to a downfall due to his manipulative and ruthless nature. However, to enhance the impact of his arc in a feature screenplay, it would be beneficial to provide more depth to his motivations and inner conflicts. This would help the audience better understand Myles's actions and make his downfall more impactful. | To improve the character arc for Myles in the feature screenplay, consider incorporating flashbacks or internal monologues to explore his past traumas or insecurities that drive his ruthless behavior. This will add complexity to his character and make his eventual downfall more emotionally resonant. Additionally, consider adding moments of vulnerability or redemption for Myles to create a more dynamic and compelling character arc. |
Beck | Beck starts off as a mysterious and enigmatic character who watches Giovanni from a distance, observing his actions with keen interest. As the story progresses, Beck's true nature is revealed as ruthless, violent, and driven by greed. He becomes more aggressive and unpredictable, using intimidation and manipulation to achieve his goals. However, towards the climax of the film, Beck's actions catch up to him and he is forced to confront the consequences of his ruthless behavior, leading to a moment of reckoning and potential redemption. | The character arc for Beck is well-developed, showcasing a gradual reveal of his true nature and a potential moment of redemption. However, to enhance the impact of Beck's character arc, there could be more depth added to his motivations and backstory. Providing insight into what drives Beck to be so ruthless and greedy could make his character more complex and compelling. | To improve the character arc for Beck, consider incorporating flashbacks or dialogue that delve into his past experiences and traumas that have shaped him into the ruthless individual he is. This will add depth to his character and make his potential moment of redemption more impactful. Additionally, exploring Beck's relationships with other characters in more depth could provide further insight into his motivations and add layers to his character development. |
Mo | Mo starts off as a loyal and efficient operative for Mr. Bass, but as the story progresses, he begins to show signs of regret and weariness in his actions. Through a series of events, Mo is forced to confront his ruthless nature and ultimately has a change of heart, leading him to question his loyalty and the morality of his actions. | The character arc for Mo is compelling and adds depth to his initially one-dimensional portrayal. However, the transition from a cold and calculating criminal to a character experiencing regret and questioning his actions could be further developed to make it more believable and impactful. The change in Mo's character should be more gradual and nuanced, allowing the audience to empathize with his internal struggle. | To improve the character arc for Mo, consider incorporating more backstory or flashbacks that reveal his motivations and inner turmoil. Show moments of vulnerability or conflict that humanize Mo and make his transformation more relatable. Additionally, explore his relationships with other characters to further highlight his internal conflict and moral dilemma. |
Lou | Lou starts off as a conflicted character, torn between his criminal activities and his family responsibilities. As the story progresses, he becomes more volatile and impulsive, driven by his emotions and instincts. This leads to a breaking point where Lou must confront his inner demons and make a decision that will ultimately define his character. | The character arc for Lou is well-developed, showcasing his internal struggles and external conflicts. However, the transition from conflicted to volatile could be more gradual and nuanced to make it feel more organic and believable. Additionally, more exploration of Lou's past and motivations could add depth to his character and make his arc more impactful. | To improve the character arc for Lou, consider adding flashback scenes or dialogue that delve into his past experiences and traumas, shedding light on why he is torn between his criminal activities and family responsibilities. This will help the audience empathize with Lou and understand the complexity of his character. Additionally, focus on building up the tension and stakes leading to Lou's breaking point, creating a more impactful and satisfying resolution to his arc. |
Debbie | Debbie starts off as a pragmatic and resourceful server, focused on providing for her family. As the story progresses, she becomes more observant and caring, showing concern for Giovanni and taking quick action to help him. Her loyalty and resilience are tested, but she ultimately emerges as a compassionate and supportive individual, forming a strong bond with Alex and showing strength in the face of adversity. | The character arc for Debbie is well-developed, showcasing her growth from a pragmatic server to a caring and resilient individual. However, there could be more emphasis on her internal struggles and emotional journey throughout the story to make her character arc more impactful. | To improve the character arc for Debbie, consider adding more scenes that delve into her internal conflicts and emotional growth. Show moments of vulnerability and self-reflection to highlight her transformation from a pragmatic individual to a compassionate and supportive figure. Additionally, explore her relationship with Giovanni and Alex in more depth to further develop her character arc. |
Theme | Theme Details | Themee Explanation | ||
---|---|---|---|---|
Revenge | Jerry's desire to get revenge on Myles Bass, the conflicts and confrontations between characters, and the violent actions taken in pursuit of revenge. | Revenge is a central theme in the screenplay, driving the actions and motivations of several characters. | ||
Strengthening Revenge:
| ||||
Betrayal | Betrayal is evident in the relationships between characters, such as Jerry betraying Myles Bass, Sam betraying Alex, and the ultimate betrayal leading to violent confrontations. | Betrayal plays a significant role in the plot, leading to conflicts and consequences for the characters involved. | ||
Friendship | The bonds of friendship between characters like Alex and Katie, Giovanni and Debbie, and the loyalty shown in difficult situations. | Friendship is a recurring theme that provides support and comfort to characters in times of need. | ||
Crime | The involvement in criminal activities, such as theft, drug dealing, and violence, by various characters throughout the screenplay. | Crime is a prevalent theme that drives the plot and leads to dangerous situations for the characters involved. | ||
Redemption | Characters seeking redemption for their past actions, such as Alex trying to make amends for his involvement in criminal activities and protect Katie. | Redemption is a theme that highlights the characters' growth and transformation throughout the screenplay. | ||
Power | The pursuit of power and control by characters like Myles Bass, Giovanni, and Jerry, leading to conflicts and manipulative actions. | Power dynamics play a role in the interactions between characters, driving the plot forward and creating tension. | ||
Family | The impact of family relationships on characters, such as Alex's bond with his brother, Katie's interactions with her elderly relative, and the mention of family stories. | Family ties influence the characters' decisions and emotions, adding depth to their motivations and actions. | ||
Greed | Characters driven by greed, such as Giovanni's pursuit of wealth and power, and the consequences of their actions. | Greed motivates characters to make questionable choices and leads to conflicts within the story. | ||
Loyalty | The theme of loyalty is evident in the relationships between characters, such as Giovanni and Katie, Alex and Sam, and the conflicts that arise when loyalty is tested. | Loyalty is a theme that explores the strength of relationships and the sacrifices characters are willing to make for each other. |
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
Site | Description |
---|---|
Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
---|---|
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
---|---|
internal Goals | The protagonist's internal goals evolved from seeking redemption and closure to navigating complicated family history and emotions. |
External Goals | The protagonist's external goals evolved from protecting loved ones to opening a new restaurant and scouting new recipes in Europe. |
Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict intertwines trust with betrayal, loyalty with greed, and personal gain with moral responsibility. |
Character Development Contribution: The goals and conflict challenge the protagonist's beliefs, values, and actions, leading to growth, introspection, and realization.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The goals and conflict drive the protagonist's actions and decisions, shaping the sequence of events and dramatic tension throughout the screenplay.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflict explore themes of loyalty, betrayal, justice, and personal integrity, adding layers of complexity and depth to the screenplay.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
Site | Description |
---|---|
Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
---|---|
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall | Concept | Plot | Originality | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
1 - The Model Skyscraper Improve | Tense, Dark, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
2 - The Exchange Improve | Serious, Intense, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
3 - Confrontation in the Messy Apartment Improve | Humorous, Confrontational, Casual | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
4 - Enchanted Encounter Improve | Enchantment, Tension, Intimacy | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
5 - Morning Commute to Gio Cucina Improve | Reflective, Nostalgic, Intimate | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
6 - Empty Crypto Accounts Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Serious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
7 - Giovanni's Arrival Improve | Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intriguing | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 5 | 8 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
8 - Tension at Gio Cucina Improve | Sarcastic, Playful, Confrontational | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 5 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
9 - The Deal at Gio Cucina Improve | Tense, Confrontational, Sarcastic | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
10 - The Pursuit Improve | Suspenseful, Intense, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 5 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 6 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
11 - Mysterious Encounter at Gio Cucina Restaurant Improve | Intense, Suspenseful, Confrontational, Reflective | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
12 - A Moment of Reflection Improve | Tense, Reflective, Resolute | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
13 - The River's Secret Improve | Tense, Dark, Suspenseful | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
14 - Late Night Worries Improve | Serious, Regretful, Reflective | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
15 - Getting into the Club Improve | Tense, Flirtatious, Awkward | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
16 - Nightlife Drama Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
17 - Mysterious Instructions Improve | Suspenseful, Intense, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
18 - Escape Maneuver Improve | Suspense, Tension, Mystery | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
19 - Urgent Mission at Smokies Improve | Suspenseful, Intense, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
20 - Interrogation at Home Improve | Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
21 - The Search for Jerry Improve | Intense, Suspenseful, Serious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
22 - Tension at the Diner and Gio Cucina Improve | Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Serious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
23 - Emergency at Gio Cucina Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
24 - Hospital Update Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
25 - Mysterious Instructions Improve | null | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
26 - Ambushed Improve | Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
27 - Tragic Discovery Improve | Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
28 - The Interrogation Improve | Suspense, Grief, Investigative | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
29 - Confrontation at the Train Station Improve | Suspense, Tension, Drama | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
30 - Urgent Meeting at the Old Warehouse Improve | Suspenseful, Intense, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
31 - Mysterious Revelation Improve | Suspenseful, Emotional, Intense | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
32 - The Mysterious Cellar Improve | Suspenseful, Dark, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
33 - Warehouse Interrogation Improve | Intense, Suspenseful, Violent, Dark | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
34 - Tensions Rise Improve | Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
35 - Deadly Standoff on the Yacht Improve | Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Violent | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
36 - Hospital Policy Improve | Tense, Serious, Suspenseful | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
37 - The Decision Improve | Tense, Reflective, Serious | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | |
38 - The Envelope of Trust Improve | Tense, Serious, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
39 - Remembering Giovanni Improve | Reflective, Hopeful, Bittersweet | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 |
Summary of Scene Level Analysis
Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.
Scene Strengths
- Intriguing plot setup
- Effective use of mystery and danger
- Character development
- Tension-building
- Sharp dialogue
Scene Weaknesses
- Limited character development
- Low stakes
- Slightly predictable plot twists
- Lack of emotional depth
- Minimal dialogue
Suggestions
- Continue to focus on building tension and developing characters to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
- Explore ways to increase the stakes and raise the emotional impact of the story.
- Work on creating more nuanced and unexpected plot twists to keep the audience engaged.
- Focus on strengthening dialogue and exploring the emotional depth of characters to create a more impactful and meaningful story.
- Work on creating a more balanced and effective use of dialogue, action, and character development throughout the screenplay.
- Physical environment: The screenplay depicts a mix of urban settings, including office buildings, restaurants, nightclubs, hospitals, and residential areas. The physical characteristics range from dimly lit corridors and high-end condos to bustling city streets and dilapidated homes.
- Culture: The cultural elements in the screenplay include loyalty, friendship, betrayal, community care, organized crime, and deal-making. Characters interact based on these cultural norms, reflecting a mix of modern society and criminal underworld dynamics.
- Society: The societal structures in the screenplay hint at power dynamics, wealth disparities, and criminal activities. Characters navigate through a world where corruption, hierarchy, and loyalty play significant roles in their interactions and decisions.
- Technology: Technological aspects in the screenplay include laptops, phones, surveillance monitors, flash drives, cryptocurrency accounts, and high-tech devices like Trezor. These elements add a modern touch to the world depicted in the screenplay, influencing characters' actions and plot developments.
- Characters influence: The unique physical environment, culture, society, and technology shape the characters' experiences and actions by providing them with specific challenges, opportunities, and conflicts to navigate. Characters are influenced by the world around them, leading to decisions that drive the plot forward.
- Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute to the narrative by creating a rich and immersive setting for the characters to interact in. The physical environment, cultural norms, societal structures, and technological advancements all play a role in shaping the events of the screenplay, driving the plot towards its resolution.
- Thematic depth contribution: The world elements contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring themes of loyalty, betrayal, power, corruption, and moral dilemmas. The juxtaposition of luxury and simplicity, danger and familiarity, secrecy and community adds layers of complexity to the narrative, enhancing the overall thematic depth of the story.
Voice Analysis | |
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Summary: | The writer's voice is characterized by a blend of emotional depth, realistic dialogue, and tense interactions between characters. The dialogue is sharp, direct, and impactful, revealing the characters' emotions and motivations effectively. |
Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes to the script by enhancing the emotional depth of the characters, creating tension and suspense in key moments, and driving the narrative forward with realistic and engaging dialogue. |
Best Representation Scene | 10 - The Pursuit |
Best Scene Explanation | This scene is the best representation because it effectively conveys tension, character depth, and thematic complexity through sharp dialogue and subtle character actions, showcasing the writer's unique voice in creating suspenseful and emotionally resonant moments. |
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
Pattern | Explanation |
---|---|
Strong Emotional Impact and High Stakes | Scenes with a high emotional impact tend to also have high stakes, indicating that the author effectively raises the tension and importance of the events in those scenes. |
Character Changes and Emotional Impact | Scenes where characters undergo significant changes also tend to have a high emotional impact, suggesting that character development is closely tied to the audience's emotional engagement. |
Dialogue and Conflict | Scenes with strong conflict often have impactful dialogue, indicating that the characters' verbal interactions play a key role in driving the narrative tension. |
Tone and Concept | Certain tones like 'Tense' and 'Suspenseful' are consistently associated with specific concepts like 'Mysterious' and 'Dark', showing a strong alignment between the tone set by the author and the overall concept of the scene. |
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
The writer demonstrates a strong ability to create tension, emotional depth, and engaging character dynamics throughout the scenes analyzed. The dialogue is sharp, the pacing is effective, and the themes explored are thought-provoking. However, there is room for improvement in structuring scenes, developing character relationships, and enhancing the overall impact of the writing.
Key Improvement Areas
Suggestions
Type | Suggestion | Rationale |
---|---|---|
Book | Read 'Save the Cat' by Blake Snyder to enhance scene structure and character development. | This book provides practical insights into crafting compelling narratives and developing engaging characters, addressing key improvement areas identified in the analysis. |
Exercise | Practice writing scenes with hidden agendas and conflicting motivations to deepen character development.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise will help the writer further develop their skills in creating tension and complexity in dialogue, addressing the need for enhanced character development. |
Video | Watch interviews or behind-the-scenes footage of screenwriters discussing their writing process. | This suggestion will provide insights into the creative decisions and techniques used by successful screenwriters, helping the writer refine their craft and storytelling techniques. |
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
---|---|---|
MacGuffin | The flash drive and Trezor device are key items that drive the plot forward and are sought after by multiple characters. | A MacGuffin is a plot device that motivates the characters and advances the story, but its specific nature is often unimportant. An example of this trope is the briefcase in 'Pulp Fiction' that everyone is after, but the contents are never revealed. |
Double Cross | Characters betray each other throughout the screenplay, leading to unexpected twists and turns. | A double cross occurs when a character betrays another character, often for personal gain or to achieve their own goals. An example of this trope is in 'The Departed' where multiple characters double cross each other in a complex web of deception. |
Mistaken Identity | Characters mistake each other for someone else, leading to confusion and misunderstandings. | Mistaken identity occurs when one character is confused for another, often resulting in comedic or dramatic situations. An example of this trope is in 'The Princess Switch' where two characters who look alike switch places and cause chaos. |
Red Herring | Certain characters and plot points are introduced as distractions to mislead the audience. | A red herring is a false clue or character introduced to divert attention away from the real solution or reveal. An example of this trope is in 'Gone Girl' where the audience is led to believe one character is guilty, only to discover the truth later. |
Femme Fatale | Katie is portrayed as a mysterious and alluring woman who captivates Alex and other characters. | A femme fatale is a seductive and dangerous woman who leads men into dangerous or compromising situations. An example of this trope is in 'Basic Instinct' where Sharon Stone's character manipulates those around her with her charm and cunning. |
Heist | Characters engage in theft and deception to achieve their goals, leading to high-stakes action sequences. | A heist involves a group of characters planning and executing a theft or robbery, often with intricate schemes and clever tactics. An example of this trope is in 'Ocean's Eleven' where a team of thieves pull off a complex casino heist. |
Betrayal | Characters betray each other's trust and loyalty, leading to conflict and tension. | Betrayal occurs when a character breaks the trust or loyalty of another character, often resulting in emotional turmoil and consequences. An example of this trope is in 'Game of Thrones' where characters constantly betray each other for power and survival. |
Revenge | Jerry seeks revenge on Myles Bass for past wrongs, driving his actions throughout the screenplay. | Revenge is a common motivator for characters in stories, leading them to seek justice or retribution for perceived slights or injustices. An example of this trope is in 'Kill Bill' where the protagonist seeks revenge on those who wronged her. |
Crime Boss | Myles Bass is portrayed as a powerful and ruthless crime boss who controls the criminal underworld. | A crime boss is a character who leads a criminal organization or syndicate, often using violence and intimidation to maintain power. An example of this trope is in 'The Godfather' where Don Corleone is a powerful crime boss who rules with an iron fist. |
Power Struggle | Characters vie for power and control, leading to conflicts and alliances as they navigate the criminal underworld. | A power struggle occurs when characters compete for influence, authority, or dominance, often resulting in shifting alliances and betrayals. An example of this trope is in 'House of Cards' where characters manipulate and scheme to gain power in the political arena. |
Memorable lines in the script:
Scene Number | Line |
---|---|
22 | Myles: Jerry Kowalski was found floating face down in the river this morning. They say he killed himself. |
33 | Beck: I'm gonna kill you! |
35 | Myles: I said shoot her! |
27 | Alex: My brother's been shot. I think he's dead. |
12 | Giovanni: Chi Trova un Amico, Trova un Tesoro – He Who Finds a Friend, Finds a Treasure. |
Some Loglines to consider:
When a terminally ill restaurant owner uncovers evidence of corruption within a powerful real estate developer's organization, he enlists the help of his loyal friend to take him down, setting off a high-stakes clash between the city's business elite and a new generation determined to protect their legacy. |
After a dying restaurant owner entrusts his friend with a valuable cryptocurrency asset, the friend must navigate a web of greed, betrayal, and violence to safeguard the future of the family-owned establishment and uncover the truth about the developer's nefarious activities. |
In the cutthroat world of Philadelphia's business community, a young restaurant worker finds himself caught in the middle of a power struggle between a ruthless real estate developer and a stubborn restaurant owner, who has one last chance to take down his longtime rival and secure his legacy. |
A terminally ill restaurant owner's quest to expose the corruption and wrongdoings of a powerful real estate developer leads him to entrust a valuable asset to a trusted friend, setting off a dangerous chain of events that tests the loyalty and morals of all involved. |
When a restaurant owner's attempt to undermine a real estate developer's plans for his family business leads to the theft of a valuable cryptocurrency, a young employee must confront the consequences of his actions and navigate the treacherous world of Philadelphia's business elite to protect what matters most. |
When a dying man steals crucial data from his corrupt boss, he sets off a chain of events that embroils his friends and family in a deadly game of corporate espionage. |
In a world where loyalty is a commodity, a terminally ill man risks everything to expose his corrupt employer, putting his loved ones in the crosshairs. |
A young man and his girlfriend must navigate a perilous web of deceit and violence to protect a secret that could bring down a powerful corporation. |
As corporate greed threatens to destroy everything he holds dear, a man must rely on his wits and courage to safeguard a stolen treasure that holds the key to justice. |
Caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse, a man and his allies must outsmart ruthless adversaries to expose a conspiracy and save their community. |
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Engine: Claude
Recommend
Explanation: Money Talks is a compelling crime drama that follows the intricate web of power, greed, and betrayal within the Philadelphia business world. The screenplay skillfully weaves together multiple storylines, complex characters, and high-stakes conflicts, creating an engaging and suspenseful narrative. With its strong character development, well-paced plot, and thematic depth, the script stands out as a strong contender for film adaptation.
Engine: GPT4
Consider
Explanation: Money Talks is a compelling screenplay that combines elements of thriller and drama with a strong narrative and well-developed characters. The plot revolves around a high-stakes conflict involving corporate greed, personal loyalty, and the quest for justice. While the screenplay has several strengths, including its pacing and character development, there are areas that need improvement, such as consistency in themes and some unresolved plot threads.