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Scene Map 42
# PG SLUGLINE
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Scene Map
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# PG SLUGLINE
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EXT. THAILAND - DAY CHYRON: SUMAT DISTRICT, THAILAND The landscape of Thailand is a sea of bustling people and aged buildings. Heat shimmers off the ground, making the whole area seem like it’s perspiring.
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EXT. BOEING V-22 OSPREY - NIGHT A MILITARY PLANE cuts through the night. INT. BOEING V-22 OSPREY - CARGO HOLD - CONT. A makeshift COMMAND CENTER has been set up in the cargo hold, where we meet WOLFE (tall, broad shouldered, military man,
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INT. THAI WAREHOUSE – NIGHT We are in a bare bones warehouse. Brick walls, steel rebar columns every couple of yards and a network of rusted stairwells and catwalks above them. 11.
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EXT. THAI WAREHOUSE - CONT. The Okaloosa team is huddled at a generator and Baxter is watching them, through the binoculars. CLAYTON They shitting themselves yet?
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INT. THAI WAREHOUSE - CONT. The gangsters inside are BLOWN BACK AS the doorway erupts in flames, sending them scrambling back. Before you finish reading this sentence, the Okaloosa team pours in, rifles raised, barking orders.
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INT. THAI WAREHOUSE - HALLWAY - CONT. Charoen runs into the hallway -- he makes a beeline to a door with a FIRE ESCAPE PICTURE. He’s halfway there, when Wolfe makes it up the stairs, aims, then -- FIRES into the floor!
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INT. THAI WAREHOUSE - NIGHT Charoen blinks himself awake. Sunti nudges him with her foot. Charoen shakes it off, stirs from the floor. Sunti, Charoen, and the five men are sitting in the middle of the warehouse, their hands are ziptied behind their backs.
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EXT. THAI WAREHOUSE - CONT. We are on Charoen as he runs, he runs for all he’s worth into the night, blood and sweat covering his face. INT. THAI WAREHOUSE - CONT. The team huddles around Mason as he sinks in Baxter’s arms.
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INT. TATTOO PARLOR – NIGHT DECHA (30’s, Thai tattoo artist) is inside a DINGY looking tattoo parlor. He is counting money in the cash register. We glimpse his hand, were we see the SUN TATTOO of the Thai gangsters. The door chimes as it opens. He doesn’t look up.
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INT. TATTOO PARLOR - BACK ROOM – DAY Charoen is in the chair, passed out, gauze is wrapped around his shoulder. The door opens and his eyes peel open. DECHA He’s in here.
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EXT. ROAD - DAY Wolfe’s pickup truck flies by a green sign that reads: Welcome to Okaloosa County. EXT. SHORE SHACK – DAY The Shore Shack is a beach bar along the Florida coast. A
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INT. THAI WAREHOUSE – DAY The back door to the warehouse opens up as Charoen leads Somchai and THREE GANGSTERS in. SOMCHAI We don’t have much time. The cops
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INT. MASON’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY A picture of MASON and his wife SARAH sits on the wall. Sarah passes by, puts a plate in the sink, washes it. The doorbell rings. She perks up, dries the dish, and ushers out.
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EXT. / INT. CAB - NIGHT Nathan drives, Charoen sits in the back. NATHAN First time in America? Charoen nods.
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EXT. AIRFIELD - NIGHT The same PLANE sits within an AIRPLANE HANGAR. Alberto is alone, working on REFUELING the PLANE. He plugs the nozzle of the hose into the port, locks it in place. INT. BOEING V-22 OSPREY - CARGO HOLD - CONT.
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EXT. AIRFIELD - CONT. At the borders of the airfield, Charoen stalks the airfield. Under the cover of night, he scans the area and spots the lights from the hangar, he sees the plane and more importantly he sees them arguing.
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INT. BOEING V-22 OSPREY - CARGO - CONT. Bullets RICOCHET wildly around Wolfe as he bulldozes through the cargo room, then into the cargo hold. Seconds later, Charoen is racing after him! INT. BOEING V-22 OSPREY - CARGO HOLD - CONT.
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INT. BOEING V-22 OSPREY - COCKPIT - CONT. Wolfe slams the door closed as THOOM! The grenade explodes into a PLUME of fire that PUNCHES against the door, throwing him backwards in a wash of flames! 43.
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EXT. AIRPLANE HANGAR - CONT. Charoen runs out the hangar chased by gunfire. Wolfe fires until the clip is dry, dumps Alberto into the passenger side of the truck. ALBERTO
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INT. HOTEL - HOTEL BATHROOM - NIGHT Charoen grimaces as he shoves his leg into a bathtub full of water. He runs water over it and seethes. The skin around his leg is pink, it’s not a first degree burn, but he’s gonna feel it.
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INT. THAI RESTAURANT - OFFICE - DAY Chiang Mai is counting money, when Nathan and Charoen walk in. A TV in the corner is on MUTE, shows the local news. CHIANG MAI Oh, good you are still alive.
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INT. SHORE SHACK – DINING AREA - NIGHT Vickie is wiping down the last of the tables. She sprays them with cleaner, wipes it down with a rag. The door opens behind her, she perks up and turns as Wolfe walks in. VICKIE
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EXT. SHORE SHACK - CONT. Outside the shack, Wolfe’s truck sits... The tracker blinks behind the wheels... Then A FOOT steps into frame, then another. It’s Charoen, facing down the shack.
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INT. / EXT. CHAROEN’S CAR - CONT. CHAROEN SLAMS TO A HALT AS A WALL OF METAL PUSHES PAST HIM! HE SWERVES AND HIS CAR BOUNCES OFF THE SIDE OF THE TRAIN. HIS PASSENGER SHOUTS AS THE CAR BUCKS BACKWARDS. Charoen takes a moment, breathes... He then gets out the car
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INT. VICKIE'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - CONT. Their hands are all over each other as they spill into the bedroom. Wolfe and Vickie fall onto the bed and as they roll on top of each other, we -- INT. THAI RESTAURANT – OFFICE - NIGHT
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INT. VICKIE’S HOUSE - BEDROOM - DAY Vickie stirs in bed, she blinks awake, then stretches across the bed, but -- WOLFE IS GONE. Vickie sits up, sees that he’s not on the other side of the bed, she frowns... of course...
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EXT. BAXTER’S HOUSE - DAY Establishing shot of Baxter’s house in the day. INT. BAXTER’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONT. Wolfe sits across from Baxter and Curtis. BAXTER
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INT. NATHAN’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY THUMP! Curtis PUNCHES Nathan sends him reeling backwards! Nathan tumbles over his couch as the three men surround him. WOLFE Who is he?
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INT. HOTEL - HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT Charoen HOWLS as he PUTS HIS FIST THROUGH THE WALL, STRIKES SOMETHING SOLID BEHIND IT! HE RECOILS GRABS HIS HAND AND GRIMACES. The pain snaps him fully awake. It was a nightmare, it was
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INT. HOTEL - HALLWAY - CONT. Charoen runs down the hall like the wind. He slams into the elevator slaps the button. Clayton’s men run around the corner, Charoen slaps the button again. CHAROEN
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INT. HOTEL - LOBBY - CONT. Charoen breaks through the lobby, passing through people, hoping no one notices him. INT. HOTEL - HALLWAY - CONT. Clayton and his men barrel out the stairwell, he stops by the
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INT. THAI RESTAURANT - OFFICE - CONT. Chiang Mai chambers his gun, circles Wolfe as he deals with his last two opponents. Chiang lifts the gun, tries to get a bead on Wolfe. 76.
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INT. CHURCH - SANCTUARY - DAY OLD ORGANS BLARE. A casket sits at the front of the sanctuary, with Mason’s photo next to it. Wolfe, Baxter, and Curtis sit together, bruised and in suits.
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EXT. GRAVEYARD - DAY The funeral is just wrapping up. Sarah and Mason’s family are huddled around the grave, while what is left of the Okaloosa team huddle together. WOLFE
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INT. THAI RESTAURANT - DINING ROOM - DAY The door chimes as Charoen enters. He pauses as he takes in the room -- it’s a wreck, bodies and debris everywhere. Charoen closes the door behind him, draws his knife... He steps over one body, kicks it. Nothing.
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INT. STOLEN CAR - CONT. Charoen throws himself inside the stolen car. He takes a few deep breaths, then takes out Albert’s phone. He flips through it, finds Baxter’s photo/contact info... EXT. BAXTER’S HOUSE - NIGHT
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INT. BAXTER’S HOUSE – BASEMENT - NIGHT Charoen is tied up to a chair in the basement. His head hangs down, limply. Curtis and Wolfe look over the paperwork that Baxter printed out. WOLFE
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INT. BAXTER’S HOUSE – FOYER - NIGHT Wolfe and Curtis sneak into the foyer -- Around a corner, they hear footsteps -- Wolfe signals Curtis, hold...3...2...1. The pair whip around the corner and --
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INT. BAXTER'S HOUSE – BASEMENT – CONT. The trio rush into the basement and find it EMPTY. CLAYTON Where did he go? There is a breeze... They follow the air current to a broken
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EXT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - NIGHT Both cars pull up outside of an abandoned warehouse. WOLFE Hell is this place? CLAYTON
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EXT. WOLFE'S TRUCK - MOMENTS LATER Wolfe helps Curtis into the truck. WOLFE Thanks for having my back. CURTIS
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EXT. HOUSE - DAY Wolfe holds up the diamond, it’s now on a RING -- it’s an engagement ring. He puts it in a box, pockets the box, and walks up to the door of a non-descript house. He walks with a limp, the battles still weighing on him.

Okaloosa

In the aftermath of a failed diamond heist, a former special forces soldier seeks revenge against the private military contractors who killed his sister and stole the valuable briefcase.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

What sets 'Okaloosa' apart is its exploration of the psychological toll of violence on both sides of the conflict. The screenplay delves into the motivations behind revenge and the consequences of choices made in the heat of battle, making it resonate with audiences who appreciate character-driven stories within the action genre.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

Claude
 Consider
GPT4
 Recommend
Story Facts
Genres:
Action 45% Crime 35% Drama 25% Thriller 30% Romance 10%

Setting: Contemporary, Thailand and Okaloosa County, Florida

Themes: Revenge, Morality and Ethics in Warfare, Brotherhood and Loyalty, Survival, Consequences of Violence

Conflict & Stakes: The primary conflict revolves around Charoen's quest for revenge against Wolfe and the Okaloosa team for the death of his sister, with high stakes involving personal loss, moral dilemmas, and the consequences of violence.

Mood: Tense and suspenseful, with moments of emotional depth and action-packed sequences.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The intertwining stories of revenge and redemption across two continents, showcasing the impact of personal loss.
  • Major Twist: The revelation that the extraction mission was a setup orchestrated by Clayton, leading to a betrayal within the team.
  • Distinctive Setting: The contrast between the gritty underworld of Thailand and the quieter, yet equally dangerous, environment of Okaloosa County.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of flashbacks and dual narratives to explore character motivations and backstories.
  • Unique Characters: Complex characters with rich backstories, particularly Charoen and Wolfe, who embody the themes of revenge and redemption.

Comparable Scripts: John Wick, The Raid: Redemption, Sicario, Narcos, Taken, Heat, The Equalizer, The Accountant, Body of Lies

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.25
Story Critique
Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.
Characters
Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.
Themes
Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.
Logic & Inconsistencies
Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
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Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice
Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.
Writer's Craft
Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building
Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.
Correlations
Identifies patterns in scene scores.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.