The good place draft
Executive Summary
Pass/Consider/Recommend/Highly Recommend
Overview
Genres: Comedy, Fantasy
Setting: Present day, The Good Place and the Neutral Zone
Overview: The screenplay shows promise with its unique concept of characters turning into identical Janets and exploring themes of identity and self-discovery. However, there are opportunities for improvement in character arcs, emotional depth, and thematic exploration.
Themes: Identity, Humor, Overcoming Challenges, Friendship, Philosophy, Desperation
Conflict and Stakes: The humans are trying to prove that the Bad Place is tampering with the points system, which would allow them to get into the Good Place.
Overall Mood: Upbeat and comedic, with moments of drama and introspection.
Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:
- Scene 1: The scene where the humans turn into identical Janets is both funny and visually appealing.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The concept of the humans turning into identical Janets is a unique and visually appealing way to explore the theme of identity.
- Plot Twist : The revelation that the Head Accountant is actually working for the Bad Place is a major plot twist that will keep the audience guessing until the end.
- Distinctive Setting : The Good Place and the Neutral Zone are both visually stunning and unique settings that will help to set the film apart from other comedies.
- Innovative Idea : The idea of using a points system to determine who goes to the Good Place is a clever and original way to explore the nature of good and evil.
- Unique Characters : The characters are all well-developed and unique, with their own strengths and weaknesses. The audience will be able to relate to and root for them.
- Genre Blend : The film is a unique blend of comedy, drama, and philosophy. This will appeal to a wide range of audiences.
Comparable Scripts:
Market Analysis
Budget Estimate:$20-30 million
Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 25-54, fans of comedy, drama, and philosophy.
Marketability: It has a high concept premise with a lot of potential for humor and heart. The characters are relatable and likeable, and the story is both funny and thought-provoking.
It is a well-written script with a strong cast and crew. However, the subject matter may be too niche for some audiences.
It has a lot of potential, but the execution may not be strong enough to appeal to a wide audience.
Profit Potential: High, due to strong appeal to a wide adult audience and potential for award nominations.
Scene Level Percentiles
Emotions Elicited Percentiles
This is a rough estimate of how the average intensity of emotions elicited in this script compare to all scripts in the Vault (all genres).
Higher isn't necessarily better. This is FYI.
Writer's Voice
Memorable Lines:
- Eleanor: Holy forking shirtballs... we’re in the Good Place! (Scene 10)
- Jason-Janet: This is exactly what I always thought heaven would be. (Scene 1)
- ELEANOR-JANET: And all I know is, you’re just barfing Wikipedia all over everyone to avoid talking about your feelings. (Scene 5)
- Janet: But: the structural integrity of this void is already at risk, you can’t start randomly conjuring up objects. (Scene 3)
- Janet: Having four humans in my void is weird! (Scene 2)
Story Shape
Consider
Executive Summary
The Good Place draft demonstrates a strong comedic voice, imaginative premise, and well-developed world-building. However, the screenplay could benefit from a more compelling antagonist, a clearer sense of urgency in the central conflict, and a more satisfying resolution. Further exploration of the broken points system and its consequences would also enhance the overall narrative.
- The screenplay features a unique and imaginative premise, exploring philosophical concepts within a comedic framework. high
- The world-building is intricate and well-developed, creating a complex afterlife system with its own rules and bureaucracy. high ( Scene 1002 Scene 1013 )
- The dialogue is witty and engaging, filled with humor and pop culture references that resonate with the audience. high
- The character dynamics are strong, particularly the evolving relationship between Eleanor and Chidi, which provides both comedic and emotional depth. high ( Scene 1004 Scene 1010 Scene 1012 Scene 1014 Scene 1016 Scene 1018 )
- The use of Janet's void as a plot device allows for creative exploration of identity and self-perception. medium ( Scene 1001 Scene 1016 Scene 1018 )
- The conflict with the Bad Place feels somewhat underdeveloped and lacks a clear sense of urgency or immediate threat. high ( Scene 1011 Scene 1013 Scene 1017 )
- Neil, the Head Accountant, could be a more compelling antagonist with clearer motivations and a stronger presence. medium ( Scene 1006 Scene 1008 Scene 1011 Scene 1013 Scene 1017 )
- The pacing could be improved, as some scenes feel drawn out, particularly Chidi's philosophical explanations. medium
- The ending feels somewhat abrupt, leaving several questions unanswered and the overall conflict unresolved. medium
- The screenplay would benefit from a deeper exploration of the consequences of the broken points system and its impact on the afterlife. high
- More insight into the Bad Place's motivations and their methods of tampering with the system would enhance the conflict. medium
- Further development of the supporting characters, such as Tahani and Jason, would provide a richer ensemble dynamic. medium
- The concept of humans taking on Janet's form is a clever and entertaining way to explore themes of identity and perception. high ( Scene 1001 Scene 1018 )
- The scene with the eggplant and nickels is a humorous example of the show's ability to blend absurdity with philosophical inquiry. medium ( Scene 1008 )
- The reveal of Janet's crush on Jason adds a layer of complexity to her character and opens up potential for future storylines. medium ( Scene 1015 )
Screenplay Insights:
Premise: 7.4, The screenplay's premise is promising but could benefit from greater clarity and depth to enhance its overall intrigue and foundational engagement. With a focus on originality, clarity, and audience engagement, the premise effectively sets up a unique and comedic challenge for the characters but could be further refined to fully capture the audience's interest. See More
Structure: 7.5, The screenplay's structure and plot effectively establish the premise, introduce compelling characters, and set up potential character arcs. It incorporates a unique concept and humorous moments. However, the story's progression through the void could be refined to enhance narrative clarity and pacing. See More
Theme: 7.6, The screenplay effectively explores themes of identity, morality, and the search for purpose. However, the clarity of the central message could be strengthened, and the integration of themes within the plot could be more seamless. Overall, the screenplay has potential for thematic depth but requires further refinement. See More
Visual Impact: 7.0, The screenplay introduces a visually stunning concept of identical Janets in a bright, infinite white void. This visually creative idea lays the foundation for a comedic and absurd tone, engaging readers with its uniqueness. See More
Emotional Impact: 7.1, The screenplay demonstrates a strong emotional foundation with a unique concept and diverse cast of characters, providing a solid foundation for emotional resonance with the audience. However, it lacks depth in some areas and could benefit from enhanced emotional complexity and a more consistent emotional narrative. See More
Conflict: 7.4, The screenplay effectively presents a unique conflict and stakes by turning the characters into identical Janets. However, the narrative tension could be enhanced by escalating the stakes and adding more weight to the conflict. See More
Originality: 7.2, The screenplay exhibits originality and creative execution in its premise of identical Janets and the subsequent exploration of personal identity. The narrative challenges conventional storytelling through imaginative scenarios and philosophical debates. See More
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Summaries
- Michael and Janet attempt to bring Eleanor, Chidi, Tahani, and Jason into Janet's void, but it goes awry and they all turn into identical Janets
- Michael and Janet turn the humans into identical Janets, dress them in their own outfits, and bring them to Janet's void. Janet explains that they can't go back to their bodies, but they can go to the Neutral Zone to find proof that the Bad Place is tampering with the points system. Michael and Janet leave to find the Head Accountant, leaving the humans in Janet's void.
- The group is transformed into identical Janets but can't tell each other apart. They must stay in the void and cannot go back to their own bodies. They decide to go to the Neutral Zone to find proof that the Bad Place is tampering with the points system. Michael and Janet leave to find the Head Accountant.
- The group is transformed into identical Janets but can't tell each other apart. They must stay in the void and cannot go back to their own bodies. They decide to go to the Neutral Zone to find proof that the Bad Place is tampering with the points system. Michael and Janet leave to find the Head Accountant.
- Michael and Janet turn the humans into identical Janets, dress them in their own outfits, and bring them to Janet's void. The group is transformed into identical Janets but can't tell each other apart. They must stay in the void and cannot go back to their own bodies. They decide to go to the Neutral Zone to find proof that the Bad Place is tampering with the points system. Michael and Janet leave to find the Head Accountant.
- Michael and Janet seek the Head Accountant's help while the humans transform into identical Janets and plan to go to the Neutral Zone to find evidence of the Bad Place's tampering with the points system. Meanwhile, in Janet's void, thoughts and feelings are starting to affect the surroundings, and Janet urges the group to split up.
- Michael and Janet seek the Head Accountant's help while the group of identical Janets plan to find evidence of Bad Place tampering in the Neutral Zone. Meanwhile, thoughts and feelings in Janet's void affect the surroundings, causing Janet's molecular essence to fragment.
- Michael and Janet seek the Head Accountant's help while the group of identical Janets plan to find evidence of tampering by the Bad Place in the Neutral Zone. Meanwhile, thoughts and feelings in Janet's void affect the surroundings, causing Janet's molecular essence to fragment.
- Michael and Janet seek the Head Accountant's help while the humans transform into identical Janets and plan to go to the Neutral Zone to find evidence of the Bad Place's tampering with the points system. Meanwhile, thoughts and feelings in Janet's void affect the surroundings, causing Janet's molecular essence to fragment.
- Michael and Janet regroup with Tahani, Eleanor, and Chidi after their plan to turn into identical Janets to find evidence of the tampering in the Neutral Zone goes awry.
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Character Chidi
Description Chidi's sudden acceptance of Eleanor's feelings and his declaration of love seem somewhat rushed and inconsistent with his previous cautious and analytical nature. While character development is expected, this shift feels abrupt and driven by the need to resolve the plot.
( Scene 7 (1012) Scene 8 (1014) ) -
Character Eleanor
Description Eleanor's rapid transformation into different people is an interesting plot device but feels disconnected from her established character. It's unclear why her sense of self would shatter so easily, even under stress, given her previous resilience and self-awareness.
( Scene 8 (1016) )
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Description The resolution of Janet's instability and the return of the humans to their original forms through Janet 'barfing' them out is a comedic solution but lacks internal logic and consistency with the established rules of the void and Janet's abilities.
( Scene 10 (1019) )
-
Description The revelation that no one has entered the Good Place in over 500 years creates a significant plot hole. It contradicts the established premise of the show and raises questions about the afterlife's functioning and the point system's validity. This revelation requires further explanation and exploration to maintain the narrative's coherence.
( Scene 7 (1013) )
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Description Janet's sudden ability to 'throw shade' feels out of character and inconsistent with her previous neutral and informative demeanor. While it's a humorous moment, it doesn't align with her established personality.
( Scene 3 (1004) )
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Element Chidi's philosophical explanations
( Scene 4 (1007) Scene 5 (1010) Scene 6 (1012) )
Suggestion While Chidi's philosophical insights are a core element of his character, the repeated explanations of different philosophical concepts could be streamlined or interspersed with more action or dialogue to maintain a balance between character development and plot progression.
Michael - Score: 87/100
Role
Protagonist
Character Analysis Overview
Janet - Score: 82/100
Role
Supporting Character
Character Analysis Overview
Eleanor - Score: 83/100
Role
Protagonist
Character Analysis Overview
Chidi - Score: 71/100
Character Analysis Overview
Tahani - Score: 71/100
Character Analysis Overview
Jason - Score: 69/100
Character Analysis Overview
Chidi-janet - Score: 73/100
Character Analysis Overview
Eleanor-janet - Score: 72/100
Character Analysis Overview
Jason-janet - Score: 72/100
Character Analysis Overview
Neil - Score: 68/100
Role
Supporting Character
Character Analysis Overview
| Theme | Theme Details | Theme Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Identity | The characters struggle to differentiate themselves from each other after being turned into identical Janets. | The theme of identity is subtly introduced as the characters face an unexpected challenge that leaves them questioning who they are. |
| Humor | The tone is absurd and lighthearted, with comedic dialogue and exaggerated actions such as one of the Janets playing with her own breasts. | Humor is a prevalent theme throughout the screenplay, with its lighthearted tone and witty dialogue playing on the absurdity of the situation. |
| Overcoming Challenges | The characters face a unique challenge as they struggle to tell each other apart and find proof of the Bad Place's tampering with the points system. | The theme of overcoming challenges is present as the characters are faced with a difficult situation and must work together to find a solution. |
| Friendship | The characters' interactions set up potential character arcs as they work together to overcome the challenge of being transformed into identical Janets and find evidence of the Bad Place's tampering. | The theme of friendship is subtly introduced as the characters' interactions and potential character arcs are highlighted. |
| Philosophy | The scene is humorous thanks to the philosophical debates the characters have when discussing personal identity. | The theme of philosophy is present as the characters discuss personal identity and question who they are. |
| Desperation | Michael and Janet are desperate to find a solution to the Bad Place's tampering with the point system while the clock is ticking and Janet's essence is fragmenting. | The theme of desperation is present as Michael and Janet face a race against time to find a solution before it's too late. |
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
| Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
| John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
| What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
| Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
| Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | ||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall | Concept | Plot | Characters | Character Changes | Conflict | High stakes | Story forward | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | ||
| 1 - Janet(s) | "Absurd, lighthearted" | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 8 | 8 | 9 | ||
| 2 - Janet's Void | "lighthearted" | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 4 | 8 | ||
| 3 - Lost in Janet's Void | "whimsical" | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 4 | 7 | 5 | 8 | 5 | 8 | ||
| 4 - The Void and the Accountant | "Light-hearted" | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 8 | 3 | 8 | ||
| 5 - Janet(s) | "Humorous" | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 5 | 6 | 9 | 4 | 8 | ||
| 6 - The Book of Dougs and Janet's Void | "Whimsical" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 4 | 9 | 6 | 9 | ||
| 7 - The Fragmenting Janet | "Whimsical" | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | ||
| 8 - Janet's Void Crumbles | "Whimsical" | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | ||
| 9 - Janet(s) in Peril | "Frantic" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 8 | ||
| 10 - The Good Place: Janet(s) | "Exciting" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | ||
Summary of Scene Level Analysis
Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.
Scene Strengths
- Strong comedic moments
- Unique concept
- Diverse and well-developed characters
- Frantic pace keeps things interesting
- Character relationships deepen
Scene Weaknesses
- Lacklustre setting
- Low stakes
- Scene is mostly expository
- Lacks emotional impact
- Pacing may be slow for some viewers
Suggestions
- Consider increasing the stakes to create a more engaging narrative.
- Further flesh out the points system concept to avoid confusion.
- Focus on deeper thematic development to enhance the overall meaning of the story.
- Create more emotional impact by increasing the conflict level between characters.
- Continue to build strong character relationships to keep the audience invested in the story.
Scene 1 - Janet(s)
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 2 - Janet's Void
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 3 - Lost in Janet's Void
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 4 - The Void and the Accountant
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 5 - Janet(s)
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 6 - The Book of Dougs and Janet's Void
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 7 - The Fragmenting Janet
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 8 - Janet's Void Crumbles
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 9 - Janet(s) in Peril
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 10 - The Good Place: Janet(s)
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Consider
Explanation: The Good Place draft demonstrates a strong comedic voice, imaginative premise, and well-developed world-building. However, the screenplay could benefit from a more compelling antagonist, a clearer sense of urgency in the central conflict, and a more satisfying resolution. Further exploration of the broken points system and its consequences would also enhance the overall narrative.