A team-building retreat goes horribly wrong as employees face death and danger in a dark and remote forest. Other loglines ›
How to read these: in industry coverage, Pass is the default outcome for the majority of professional scripts, and Consider means the reader stayed in the room. Industry-wide, the median professional evaluation sits at a 6 — scores of 8+ are rare everywhere, on purpose.
The script's distinctive ensemble voice and sharp corporate-satire engine hold a strong Consider verdict, and targeted structural work on midsection causal pressure and the pilot's series launch will clear the path to Recommend.
An elevated-commercial horror-comedy pilot aiming for propulsive ensemble survival horror with a corporate-satire spine, betting that distinct character voices and escalating set-pieces can sustain a repeatable series engine.
Readers split on the secondary lane, with two reading it as specialty drama, two as mainstream commercial, and one seeing no secondary lane. The split traces to whether the pilot's corporate satire reads as a niche character study or a broad genre engine, which affects how downstream graders weigh the pilot's market positioning.
The script's distinctive ensemble voice, sharp corporate satire, and confident tonal control in the first two-thirds hold it firmly above a Pass despite the back-half structural issues.
The midsection causal break, accelerated character attrition, and undefined pilot engine prevent the script from demonstrating the sustained pressure and series runway required for a Recommend.
A script with a distinctive ensemble voice and sharp corporate-satire engine that needs structural work on midsection causal pressure and the pilot's series launch.
Read as Elevated commercial
Re-seed the hunter threat and establish a concrete midsection escape objective so the survival escalation reads as earned consequence rather than episodic setpieces, which simultaneously clarifies the pilot's ongoing engine.
Tightening the midsection causal chain and defining the pilot engine risks flattening the loose, conversational rhythm that generates the script's distinctive comedy.
Anchor survival decisions to established character traits and keep the corporate-satire spine active in the group's choices, ensuring the ensemble's distinct voices persist under pressure rather than converging into functional survival dialogue.
Clarifying the hunter threat and midsection objective may over-explain the horror, stripping away the slow-burn dread and tonal whiplash that make the transition effective.
Seed the threat through physical remnants or character choices rather than exposition blocks, and preserve the uncomfortable middle ground where corporate logic collides with visceral danger.
The reader loses forward pull as survival setpieces replace character-driven objectives, leaving the pilot's ongoing series proposition unclear.
The script shifts from ensemble satire to survival mechanics without establishing a clear escalating objective or seeding the hunter threat causally, making the back half feel episodic rather than cumulative.
Anchor the middle stretch to a concrete escape or survival objective established early, and seed the hunter threat through physical remnants or character choices so the escalation feels earned rather than inserted.
The reader loses emotional investment as character deaths register as mechanical plot beats rather than meaningful losses, and distinct ensemble voices converge into functional survival dialogue.
The script accelerates character attrition to reach a two-person finale, sacrificing the established voice collisions and emotional payoffs that made the early ensemble dynamic distinctive.
Space out the attrition or anchor survival decisions to established character traits so the ensemble's distinct voices persist under pressure, and allow at least one survivor to register the emotional weight of the losses before the final escape.
The reader experiences tonal whiplash at the climax as the wrong-lodge reveal and convenient environmental reversals undercut the grim survival stakes established earlier.
The script reaches for a darkly comic corporate-satire punchline in the final sequence without giving the survivors a beat to process the absurdity, making the irony land as accidental rather than intentional.
Give Maggie and Steve a moment of blackly comic disbelief or tactical choice before the final reveal, and foreshadow the environmental reversals so the climax reads as earned payoff rather than sudden convenience.
Committing to a contained feature arc means the current closed-loop survival structure is working — the revision should focus on deepening the emotional payoff and tightening the midsection without forcing a series launch.
Committing to an ongoing series engine means the final sequence must establish a broader corporate conspiracy or persistent threat that justifies a second episode, requiring structural changes to the ending and character attrition.
Cut the caps, exclamation marks, and camera-directed phrasing in setpiece sequences, trusting the action prose and staging to carry the emotional weight without telegraphing it.
Cut the on-the-nose confirmations where characters restate their fear or grief, and vary the non-verbal punctuation so the ensemble's reactions feel distinct rather than homogenized.
The ensemble's distinct voice collision and corporate-satire spine are consistently championed across all five reads as the script's primary marketable asset.
The causal chain break and undefined pilot engine in the mid-to-late stretch are uniformly cited as the primary barrier to a higher advocacy call.
On the score: The score sits at the high edge of its band — a focused revision could push it to the next verdict.
Setting: Present day, Urban city
Themes: Survival, Ethics, Betrayal, Isolation, Mortality
Conflict & Stakes: John's struggle to clear his name after being falsely accused of a crime, with his career and reputation at stake
Mood: Tense and suspenseful
Standout Features:
Comparable Scripts: Deliverance, The Game, Saw, The Cabin in the Woods, The Most Dangerous Game
This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.
Breaks down your script along various categories.
Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.
All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.
This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.
High-level overview
The movie follows a group of employees on a retreat in a remote forest lodge, where they confront unsettling events and discuss the ethics of their work. They face numerous challenges, including bear traps, hallucinations, and unknown hunters who chase and kill them. Maggie and Steve lead survivors out of the burning lodge but face their own obstacles while trying to escape the hunters. When Maggie gets caught in a trap, Steve tries to save her, but she urges him to leave for his own safety. They defeat one of the hunters and ultimately face off against another, with Maggie impaling him with a motor. Although Steve is injured, they escape together and share a moment before approaching a waterfall where they come to accept their fate.
Scene by Scene Summaries
Each axis shows your script's raw score (0–10) in that category. We recently upgraded the AI models behind these categories, so percentile rankings are temporarily unavailable while we re-score our reference library.
Hover over each axis on the radar chart to see what that category measures and why it matters.
Analysis: The screenplay builds a lively, distinctive ensemble and uses its survival-horror premise to force characters into revealing transformations. Maggie and Steve emerge as the emotional core, while Richard and Jill are given effective, surprising reversals. However, several supporting characters—especially Billy—remain functional archetypes, and the antagonists are so faceless that the thematic critique loses some of its intended weight.
Analysis: The screenplay establishes a compelling, high-concept premise with strong ironic tension: a corporate team from a weapons manufacturer is sent to a remote retreat, only to be systematically hunted by the vengeful survivors of the atrocities their company once covered up. The premise is original, tonally distinctive, and offers a potent blend of office satire and survival horror. Key areas for enhancement include sharpening the early setup of the central conflict and clarifying the protagonists' agency in the early going, but the foundational concept is highly engaging and commercially promising.
Analysis: The screenplay has a strong high-concept hook, a cleverly deployed cold open, and an escalating structure that blends corporate satire with survival horror. Its main structural weaknesses are a talky first act, some spatial/geographical ambiguity around the two lodges, and a rushed final act that leaves several major character deaths feeling compressed. The overall narrative is coherent and effective, with the theme of corporate responsibility in the weapons trade woven consistently into the plot.
Analysis: Severance effectively uses the horror-satire hybrid to critique corporate amorality, the dehumanizing logic of the arms trade, and the absurdity of workplace team-building rituals. The thematic core is clear and often sharp: the hunters are a grotesque externalization of the violence Palisade Defense enables, and the characters' moral compromises are mirrored in their physical dismemberment. However, the screenplay sometimes prioritizes gore and set-piece horror over sustained thematic development, leaving certain character arcs—particularly Richard's redemption and Jill's resilience—underdeveloped. Overall, it is a timely, darkly funny, and intellectually engaging script that could deepen its resonance with sharper thematic through-lines and a more settled ending.
Analysis: The screenplay demonstrates a bold, visually inventive blend of corporate satire, survival horror, and pitch-black comedy. Its strongest moments are built on sharp contrasts—glossy arms-deal propaganda versus brutal, tactile violence—and a recurring system of motifs (military boots, beartraps, the Palisade logo, pills) that gives the imagery an ominous coherence. While some descriptions lapse into generic darkness or static dialogue scenes, the overall visual storytelling is dynamic, character-aware, and frequently memorable.
Analysis: The screenplay delivers a slick, darkly comic horror-thriller with a strong ensemble and a compelling survival arc centered on Maggie and Steve. Its emotional strengths lie in character chemistry, sudden vulnerability, and the brutal poignancy of earned moments like Richard's confession and Steve's rescue of Maggie. However, emotional depth is often undercut by rapid, almost dismissive deaths, uneven character development, and a tonal whiplash that can blunt grief before it lands. Overall, the script has a genuine emotional engine but needs more room to breathe around loss to achieve deeper resonance.
Analysis: The screenplay excels at transitioning from corporate satire to visceral survival horror, generating strong tension through a steadily intensifying threat and a well-integrated thematic core. While conflict escalation is effective, emotional investment is uneven due to underdeveloped supporting characters and a cliffhanger ending that may frustrate some audiences.
Analysis: Severance is a strikingly confident genre-blend: an office satire and corporate-ethics indictment fused with survival horror. Its most original moves are structural—a cold open that hides a flash-forward, propaganda videos that let an arms manufacturer condemn itself, and a tonal pivot from cringe comedy to gruesome slapstick to genuine pathos. The script's creative identity comes from treating the corporate retreat as a branded death trap where the company's own products and euphemisms return to haunt its employees.
Expand to see detailed analysis
View Complete AnalysisProtagonist
Antagonist
Supporting character
| Theme | Theme Details | Theme Explanation |
|---|---|---|
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Survival
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Survival is a major theme throughout the screenplay as the characters are constantly fighting to stay alive in a dangerous and hostile environment. This theme is explored through their struggles to escape bear traps, find weapons, and evade the hunter who is tracking them. The characters are forced to rely on their survival skills and instincts in order to make it out alive. |
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Ethics
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Ethics is an important theme throughout the screenplay as the characters grapple with the consequences of their actions. They are employed by a company that creates deadly weapons and must confront the moral implications of their work. The theme is explored through their debates and discussions about their employer's activities, as well as their reactions to the atrocities they discover at the lodge. |
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Betrayal
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Betrayal is a recurring theme throughout the screenplay as the characters turn on each other and struggle to trust one another. Richard, in particular, betrays the women in the bear pit and is later revealed to have forced the team building exercise upon them. The theme is explored through the group's tense and often combative interactions, as well as their struggles to work together and trust each other. |
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Isolation
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Isolation is a significant theme throughout the screenplay as the characters are cut off from society and struggle to find a way out. They are stranded in a remote wilderness, with no means of communication or escape, which leads to feelings of fear and paranoia. The theme is explored through their attempts to find a way out, as well as their increasingly desperate actions as they face the danger and uncertainty of their situation. |
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Mortality
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Mortality is a significant theme throughout the screenplay as the characters are constantly faced with the fragility of life and the reality of death. They witness numerous deaths throughout the story and are forced to confront their own mortality as they struggle to survive in a hostile environment. The theme is explored through their reactions to death and their struggles to find meaning and value in life amidst the chaos and danger around them. |
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
| Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
| John August | Writing from Theme |
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
| What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
| Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
| Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
|---|---|
| internal Goals | The protagonist's internal goal is to survive and navigate the dangerous situation they find themselves in. Their fear, discomfort, and desire for safety and security are reflected in their actions and reactions throughout the script. |
| External Goals | The protagonist's external goal is to endure the challenges and obstacles they face, such as reaching their destination, escaping danger, and ultimately surviving. They are driven by the need to protect themselves and their companions, and to find help and safety. |
| Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of morality, ethics, and the impact of one's actions. The protagonist and other characters are faced with dilemmas that challenge their values and beliefs, such as the ethical implications of their work, the blurred lines between reality and fantasy, and the tension between survival and morality. |
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
| Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
| Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
| Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
Everything above was written for you before you arrived. These are the things you can set running yourself, on the whole script or on one scene at a time.
Design is broken — a load-bearing lens isn’t doing its job yet.
It restates its note rather than deepening it Development
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
An orientation beat sets up the world. It isn’t expected to carry a big turn, so a lower Design read here is often the shape of the scene, not a fault.
No lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It leans on mood instead of something actually pushing it Pressure
HoldingEvery beat and line earns its place.
An orientation beat sets up the world. It isn’t expected to carry a big turn, so a lower Design read here is often the shape of the scene, not a fault.
No lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It ends about where it started Movement
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
Read is broken — a load-bearing lens isn’t doing its job yet.
The beats can be called before they land Unpredictability
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
A transition carries us between beats. It owes less structurally than a scene built to turn.
Design is broken — a load-bearing lens isn’t doing its job yet.
It restates its note rather than deepening it Development
HoldingEvery beat and line earns its place.
A transition carries us between beats. It owes less structurally than a scene built to turn.
No lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It leans on mood instead of something actually pushing it Pressure
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
An orientation beat sets up the world. It isn’t expected to carry a big turn, so a lower Design read here is often the shape of the scene, not a fault.
Design and Read are broken — this reads as a rebuild before polish.
It restates its note rather than deepening it Development
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
A transition carries us between beats. It owes less structurally than a scene built to turn.
Design and Read are broken — this reads as a rebuild before polish.
It restates its note rather than deepening it Development
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
An orientation beat sets up the world. It isn’t expected to carry a big turn, so a lower Design read here is often the shape of the scene, not a fault.
Design and Read are broken — this reads as a rebuild before polish.
It plays close to the version we’ve seen before Freshness
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
An orientation beat sets up the world. It isn’t expected to carry a big turn, so a lower Design read here is often the shape of the scene, not a fault.
No lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It isn’t clearly about one thing yet Contract
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
No lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It plays close to the version we’ve seen before Freshness
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
A ritual beat repeats a known pattern on purpose, so movement and freshness read low by design.
Design and Read are broken — this reads as a rebuild before polish.
It restates its note rather than deepening it Development
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
An orientation beat sets up the world. It isn’t expected to carry a big turn, so a lower Design read here is often the shape of the scene, not a fault.
Design is broken — a load-bearing lens isn’t doing its job yet.
It restates its note rather than deepening it Development
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
No lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It leans on mood instead of something actually pushing it Pressure
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
An orientation beat sets up the world. It isn’t expected to carry a big turn, so a lower Design read here is often the shape of the scene, not a fault.
No lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It isn’t clearly about one thing yet Contract
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
No lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It leans on mood instead of something actually pushing it Pressure
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
An aftermath beat lands the cost of what just happened rather than driving new action.
No lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It leans on mood instead of something actually pushing it Pressure
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
A transition carries us between beats. It owes less structurally than a scene built to turn.
Design and Read are broken — this reads as a rebuild before polish.
It restates its note rather than deepening it Development
HoldingEvery beat and line earns its place.
No lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It isn’t clearly about one thing yet Contract
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
All three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands.
It restates its note rather than deepening it Development
HoldingWhat happens here obliges what comes next.
An aftermath beat lands the cost of what just happened rather than driving new action.
All three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands.
The situation deepens as it goes Development
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
An aftermath beat lands the cost of what just happened rather than driving new action.
All three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands.
The situation deepens as it goes Development
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
No lens is broken, but Design is soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It restates its note rather than deepening it Development
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
An aftermath beat lands the cost of what just happened rather than driving new action.
No lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It isn’t clearly about one thing yet Contract
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
An aftermath beat lands the cost of what just happened rather than driving new action.
No lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It isn’t clearly about one thing yet Contract
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
An aftermath beat lands the cost of what just happened rather than driving new action.
All three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands.
The situation deepens as it goes Development
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
No lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It isn’t clearly about one thing yet Contract
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
No lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It isn’t clearly about one thing yet Contract
HoldingWhat happens here obliges what comes next.
All three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands.
The situation deepens as it goes Development
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
All three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands.
The situation deepens as it goes Development
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
All three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands.
The situation deepens as it goes Development
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
All three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands.
It restates its note rather than deepening it Development
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
An aftermath beat lands the cost of what just happened rather than driving new action.
All three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands.
The situation deepens as it goes Development
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
All three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands.
It plays close to the version we’ve seen before Freshness
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
No lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It isn’t clearly about one thing yet Contract
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
No lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It isn’t clearly about one thing yet Contract
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
No lens is broken, but Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
The result doesn’t oblige what comes next Consequence
HoldingA real force keeps it pushing forward.
No lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass.
It restates its note rather than deepening it Development
HoldingThe reader can follow what matters.
An aftermath beat lands the cost of what just happened rather than driving new action.
Your scene scores are compared against professional produced screenplays in our vault (The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.). The percentile shows where you rank compared to these films.
Example: A score of 8.5 in Dialogue might be 85th percentile (strong!), while the same 8.5 in Conflict might only be 50th percentile (needs work). The percentile tells you what your raw scores actually mean.
Hover over each axis on the radar chart to see what that category measures and why it matters.
“Functional” (5–6) is a solid, professional scene — that's where most scenes sit. The scale rides low on purpose, so it has room to point down (where to fix) and up (what's working).
Scenes now use the full 0–10 scale, so your numbers will look lower and more spread out than before. That's the new, smarter model being honest — not a verdict on your script.
The table below uses the same colors: warm = worth a look · neutral = fine · green = working. The point is awareness, not maxing every number — a scene can be light on plot or conflict for good reasons.
| Compelled to Read | Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Click for Full Analysis | Triage | Design | Overall | Clarity | Scene Impact | Concept | Plot | Originality | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
| 1 - SEVERANCE | ReworkOrientationDesign is broken — a load-bearing lens isn’t doing its job yet. | BrokenThe underlying story machine isn’t holding — worth looking at before polish. | 6.5 | 6 / 5.5 | 7.5 / 6.5 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 1 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 7 | 6 | 4 | 7 | 6.5 | 8 | 6.5 | |
| 2 - Corporate Video Excitement | PolishOrientationNo lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.2 | 8.5 / 7 | 4 / 5.5 | 8 | 5 | 7 | 7 | 0.5 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 1 | 2.5 | 3 | 6 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 5.5 | 8 | 5 | |
| 3 - Corporate Ethics Discussion | PolishThematic argumentNo lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 8.5 / 8 | 6.5 / 7 | 7 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 2 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 8 | 6.5 | 6.5 | 8 | 7 | |
| 4 - Arms Dealers Ride to a Trade Show | ReworkTransitionRead is broken — a load-bearing lens isn’t doing its job yet. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 9 / 8.5 | 6 / 6.5 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 2 | 6 | 5 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 4 | 7 | 5 | 8 | 6.5 | 6 | 8.5 | 5.5 | |
| 5 - Blocked Road | ReworkTransitionDesign is broken — a load-bearing lens isn’t doing its job yet. | BrokenThe underlying story machine isn’t holding — worth looking at before polish. | 6.5 | 9 / 8.5 | 8 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 7.5 | 7 | 2 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 5.5 | 6.5 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 6.5 | 8.5 | 7 | |
| 6 - The Fallout of the Corporate Video | PolishOrientationNo lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 8.5 / 8 | 7 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 2 | 5 | 4 | 7 | 6 | 6.5 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 6.5 | 7 | 8 | 6.5 | |
| 7 - Lost in the Woods | Low on its ownTransitionDesign and Read are broken — this reads as a rebuild before polish. | BrokenThe underlying story machine isn’t holding — worth looking at before polish. | 6.5 | 8.5 / 8 | 8 / 7.5 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 2 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 6.5 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 6.5 | 8 | 7 | |
| 8 - Lost and Found | Low on its ownOrientationDesign and Read are broken — this reads as a rebuild before polish. | BrokenThe underlying story machine isn’t holding — worth looking at before polish. | 6.5 | 9 / 8 | 7 / 7.5 | 8 | 6 | 7.5 | 7 | 2 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 5.5 | 8 | 5 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | |
| 9 - The Lodge | Low on its ownOrientationDesign and Read are broken — this reads as a rebuild before polish. | BrokenThe underlying story machine isn’t holding — worth looking at before polish. | 6.5 | 8.5 / 8 | 7 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 6.5 | 7 | 2 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 5.5 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 6.5 | 6 | 8 | 6 | |
| 10 - Paranoia in the Woods | PolishInvestigationNo lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.2 | 8 / 7.5 | 7 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 7.5 | 7 | 2 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 5 | 5.5 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 6.5 | 6 | 7.5 | 6 | |
| 11 - Skeletons and Seduction | PolishRitualNo lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 5.5 | 8 / 7 | 4.5 / 6 | 6 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 3 | 6 | 5 | 5 | 4 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 5 | 5 | 5.5 | 5 | 7 | 5 | |
| 12 - The Lodge's Dark Past | Low on its ownOrientationDesign and Read are broken — this reads as a rebuild before polish. | BrokenThe underlying story machine isn’t holding — worth looking at before polish. | 6.5 | 8.5 / 8 | 5 / 6.5 | 7 | 5 | 6.5 | 8 | 2 | 6 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 6 | 6 | 8 | 6.5 | 6 | 8 | 6.5 | |
| 13 - Dinner with Detention Centers | ReworkThematic argumentDesign is broken — a load-bearing lens isn’t doing its job yet. | BrokenThe underlying story machine isn’t holding — worth looking at before polish. | 6.5 | 8.5 / 7.5 | 7 / 7 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 3 | 6 | 3 | 6 | 4 | 4 | 5.5 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 8 | 6 | |
| 14 - Nighttime Preparations | PolishOrientationNo lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 7.5 / 7 | 7.5 / 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 3 | 6.5 | 5 | 5 | 5 | 4 | 5 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 6 | |
| 15 - Nighttime Paranoid Hallucinations | PolishInvestigationNo lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 9 / 8 | 7.5 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 5.5 | 7 | 2 | 5 | 4 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7.5 | 9 | 6.5 | |
| 16 - Nighttime Tensions | PolishAftermathNo lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 9 / 8.5 | 7.5 / 7 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 5.5 | 7 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 6.5 | |
| 17 - Morning Departure | PolishTransitionNo lens is broken, but Design and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 9 / 8.5 | 6 / 7.5 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 6.5 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7.5 | 9 | 7 | |
| 18 - Escape Attempts | Low on its ownPursuitDesign and Read are broken — this reads as a rebuild before polish. | BrokenThe underlying story machine isn’t holding — worth looking at before polish. | 6.5 | 9 / 8 | 6.5 / 7 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 3 | 5 | 6 | 4 | 4 | 5 | 5 | 5 | 6 | 8 | 6 | 5 | 9 | 5.5 | |
| 19 - The Abandoned Bus | PolishInvestigationNo lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 9 / 8 | 8 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 2 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7.5 | 7.5 | 9 | 7 | |
| 20 - Bear Trap | KeepAftermathAll three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands. | SolidThe story machine is built and mostly working. | 7.5 | 9 / 9 | 9 / 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 3 | 4 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | |
| 21 - Trapped in the Clearing | KeepAftermathAll three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands. | SolidThe story machine is built and mostly working. | 6.5 | 8.5 / 8 | 8 / 7.5 | 7 | 7 | 6.5 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 7 | |
| 22 - Escape from the Lodge | KeepPursuitAll three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands. | SolidThe story machine is built and mostly working. | 6.5 | 8.5 / 8 | 9 / 8.5 | 7 | 8 | 6.5 | 6 | 2 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9.5 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7.5 | 8.5 | 7 | |
| 23 - Crash and Burn | PolishAftermathNo lens is broken, but Design is soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 7.2 | 8 / 8.5 | 8.5 / 8 | 7 | 8 | 6.5 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8.5 | 7.5 | |
| 24 - Trapped in the Lodge | PolishAftermathNo lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 9 / 8 | 7.5 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 6.5 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | |
| 25 - Surviving the Night | PolishAftermathNo lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 9 / 8 | 6 / 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 4 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 5 | 7 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 8 | 6.5 | 5.5 | 8 | 5.5 | |
| 26 - Gareth is Dragged Away | KeepDeliveryAll three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands. | SolidThe story machine is built and mostly working. | 6.5 | 8 / 8 | 8 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 2 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 7.5 | 7.5 | 8 | 7.5 | |
| 27 - The Search for Gareth | PolishInvestigationNo lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 8.5 / 8 | 8 / 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7.5 | 8 | 7 | |
| 28 - The Hunted | PolishInvestigationNo lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 8.5 / 7.5 | 7.5 / 7 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 7 | 6.5 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 6 | |
| 29 - The Cellar Discovery | KeepInvestigationAll three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands. | SolidThe story machine is built and mostly working. | 7.2 | 8 / 8.5 | 9 / 8.5 | 8 | 7 | 6.5 | 7 | 5 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9.5 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 7.5 | |
| 30 - Escape and Pursuit | KeepPursuitAll three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands. | SolidThe story machine is built and mostly working. | 6.5 | 8 / 8.5 | 9 / 8 | 6 | 7 | 5.5 | 7 | 5 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | |
| 31 - Escape From Jill's Room | KeepPursuitAll three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands. | SolidThe story machine is built and mostly working. | 6.5 | 7 / 7.5 | 8.5 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 6.5 | 6 | 3 | 5 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 5 | 7.5 | 7.5 | 7 | 6.5 | |
| 32 - Escaping the Fire | KeepAftermathAll three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands. | SolidThe story machine is built and mostly working. | 7.2 | 8 / 8.5 | 8 / 8.5 | 8 | 7 | 7.5 | 8 | 7 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7.5 | |
| 33 - The Chase | KeepPursuitAll three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands. | SolidThe story machine is built and mostly working. | 6.5 | 8.5 / 8 | 8 / 7.5 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 3 | 5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | |
| 34 - Standoff at the Lodge | KeepDeliveryAll three lenses are solid — worth protecting as it stands. | SolidThe story machine is built and mostly working. | 6.5 | 9 / 8 | 7 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 6.5 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6.5 | 6 | 9 | 6 | |
| 35 - Escape from the Lodge | PolishPursuitNo lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.8 | 8.5 / 8 | 8.5 / 7.5 | 7 | 7 | 7.5 | 7 | 7.5 | 7.5 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 7 | |
| 36 - Escape and Rescue | PolishDeliveryNo lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.8 | 8.5 / 8 | 8 / 7.5 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 6.5 | 8 | 9 | 5 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 7 | |
| 37 - The Final Battle | PolishContestNo lens is broken, but Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SolidThe story machine is built and mostly working. | 6.5 | 9 / 8 | 8 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 6.5 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 7 | |
| 38 - Aftermath | PolishAftermathNo lens is broken, but Design, Execution and Read are soft — this reads as a polish pass. | SoftThe structure works but is leaking power in places. | 6.5 | 9 / 8 | 8 / 7.5 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 8 | 3 | 5 | 6 | 4 | 3 | 5 | 5 | 5 | 6 | 8 | 6.5 | 6 | 8.5 | 6.5 | |
| Voice Analysis | |
|---|---|
| Summary: | The writer's voice is characterized by sarcastic and satirical humor, dark humor and irony, witty banter, naturalistic dialogue, and a focus on tension-building and suspense. |
| Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes to the script by establishing a unique tone and atmosphere. Through the use of humor, the writer adds levity to intense situations and explores dark themes with satire. The witty and sarcastic dialogue adds depth to the characters and creates a sense of realism. The writer's focus on tension-building and suspense keeps the audience engaged and invested in the story. |
| Best Representation Scene | 34 - Standoff at the Lodge |
| Best Scene Explanation | Scene 34 is the best representation of the author's voice because it showcases the writer's darkly comedic and sarcastic dialogue. The dialogue adds a humorous element to the tense situation and effectively builds tension. |
| Pattern | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Emotional Impact vs. Overall Grade | There is a strong positive correlation between Emotional Impact and Overall Grade, indicating that scenes with higher emotional impact tend to be scored higher overall. |
| Dialogue vs. Character Changes | There is a moderate positive correlation between Dialogue and Character Changes, indicating that more dialogue tends to lead to more changes in character. |
| High Stakes vs. Move Story Forward | There is a strong positive correlation between High Stakes and Moving Story Forward, indicating that scenes with higher stakes tend to be more impactful in advancing the story. |
| Concept vs. Tone | There is a weak negative correlation between Concept and Tone, indicating that scenes with a stronger concept tend to have a more serious tone, whereas scenes with a weaker concept tend to have a more sarcastic or humorous tone. |
| Conflict vs. Emotional Impact | There is a moderate positive correlation between Conflict and Emotional Impact, indicating that scenes with more conflict tend to be more emotionally impactful. |
| Plot vs. Character Changes | There is a weak positive correlation between Plot and Character Changes, indicating that advancing the plot tends to result in changes to the characters in the story. |
| Suspenseful vs. Tone | There is a weak positive correlation between scenes being Suspenseful and having a Tense or Ominous tone, indicating that suspenseful scenes tend to be more serious or foreboding. |
| Dialogue vs. Emotional Impact | There is a weak positive correlation between Dialogue and Emotional Impact, indicating that more impactful scenes tend to have more meaningful dialogue. |
| Tone vs. Overall Grade | There is a moderate positive correlation between Tone and Overall Grade, indicating that scenes with a stronger tone tend to be scored higher overall. |
| Suspenseful vs. High Stakes | There is a moderate positive correlation between Suspenseful and High Stakes, indicating that suspenseful scenes tend to have higher stakes and more tension. |
| Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Abandoned in a Dangerous Situation | A man abandons two women in a bear pit during a chase through a forest. | This trope involves a character being left to their fate in a dangerous or life-threatening situation. An example of this can be seen in the movie 'The Descent' when Juno abandons Sarah in a cave. |
| Corporate Conspiracy | Employees of a weapons company express concern over the ethical implications of their work and discover evidence of their company's atrocities. | |
| Paranoia Fuel | The characters become increasingly paranoid as they navigate the dark forest, hear strange noises, and discover evidence of a sinister presence. | Paranoia fuel involves a story or situation that creates a sense of unease or fear in the reader/viewer by emphasizing the unknown or uncertain. An example of this can be seen in the movie 'The Thing' where a group of researchers in Antarctica become paranoid and suspicious as they try to uncover the identity of a shape-shifting alien. |
| Final Girl | Maggie fights back against the hunters and ultimately defeats the main antagonist with her strength and wit. | The final girl trope involves a female character who survives until the end of a horror or thriller film and usually defeats the main antagonist using her own resourcefulness and intelligence. An example of this can be seen in the movie 'Halloween' where Laurie Strode is the final girl who confronts and defeats the killer Michael Myers. |
| Chase Scene | Three people are chased through a forest by an unknown figure. | A chase scene involves a pursuit between two or more characters, usually with one trying to catch or harm the other. An example of this can be seen in the movie 'Mad Max: Fury Road' where Max and Furiosa chase each other through a post-apocalyptic wasteland. |
| Found Footage | The characters discover evidence of their company's atrocities in a cellar filled with strung-up animals and medical equipment. | Found footage involves a story told through footage that was discovered or compiled by the characters in the story. An example of this can be seen in the movie 'The Blair Witch Project' where the characters discover footage of their own doomed expedition. |
| Survival Horror | The characters are stranded in a remote location with limited supplies and must fend off attacks from unknown figures. | Survival horror involves a story that emphasizes the survival and self-preservation of the characters, often in a horror or thriller context. An example of this can be seen in the video game 'Resident Evil' where the player must navigate a zombie-infested mansion while solving puzzles and managing supplies. |
| Scene Number | Line |
|---|---|
| 35 | Maggie: There is a pack of psychotic war criminals fucked up on electro-shock treatment and medication right behind us, and very soon they will come through that door, rip off our heads, and shit down our necks. So if you have any more questions, maybe they can wait until we have GOT THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! NOW MOVE YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS OR I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF! |
| 10 | Deer: Now get out of my forest. Fucking druggie. |
| 8 | Steve: Bugger me sideways. |
| 30 | Gareth: I forgive you... |
| 32 | Steve: Got you, you fucker! |
| Array ( [0] => A team-building retreat goes horribly wrong as employees face death and danger in a dark and remote forest. [1] => Trapped in a burning lodge, survivors must overcome hallucinations and bear traps to escape an unknown enemy. [2] => Maggie and Steve lead the charge for survival, but when Maggie is caught in a trap, Steve must decide whether to save her or continue to safety. [3] => In a fight for their lives, the group defeats one hunter but must confront another in a life-and-death battle. [4] => As they approach a waterfall and their likely doom, Maggie and Steve find acceptance and comfort in one another's company. ) |
| When a group of corporate employees embark on a team-building retreat in a remote location, they find themselves trapped and hunted by a group of psychotic, former-military killers, forcing them to fight for their survival. |
| A corporate team-building weekend goes horribly wrong when the employees become trapped in a remote location and must confront their own complicity in the unethical practices of their company. |
| A corporate retreat becomes a deadly game of cat-and-mouse when the employees are hunted by a group of unhinged, former soldiers seeking revenge for the company's dark past. |
| In a corporate thriller with a twist, a team-building weekend turns into a fight for survival as a group of employees must confront both their own inner demons and a group of ruthless killers. |
| Employees of a weapons manufacturer become the hunted when their corporate retreat becomes a deadly game of survival against a group of psychotic, former-military personnel seeking retribution. |
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Scene by Scene Emotions