Wild Wild West

Executive Summary

Logline: Two mismatched Secret Service agents, a charming gunslinger and a brilliant inventor, team up to stop a vengeful Confederate scientist from assassinating the President and dividing the nation with a giant mechanical spider. See other logline suggestoins

Pass/Consider/Recommend/Highly Recommend

This changed recently. Ratings are subjective. So you get two engines' ratings to compare.

Engine: Gemini

Consider

Explanation: Wild Wild West is a genre-bending screenplay with a unique premise, memorable characters, and exciting action sequences. However, it suffers from uneven pacing, underdeveloped character arcs, and a reliance on crude humor. With some revisions to address these issues, the screenplay has the potential to be a successful and entertaining film.

Engine: Claude

Consider

Explanation: The screenplay for 'Wild Wild West' is a ambitious and visually striking adventure that blends elements of action, comedy, and science fiction. While the narrative could benefit from tighter pacing and more consistent character development, the script showcases several standout sequences and inventive set pieces that demonstrate the potential for a compelling and entertaining film. The blend of historical figures and high-concept technology creates a unique and engaging backdrop for the central conflict between the protagonists and the antagonist, Loveless. With some refinement, this screenplay could be a strong contender for further consideration and development.

See Full Analysis

Overview

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western, Comedy, Sci-Fi, Mystery, Musical

Setting: 1868-1869, United States

Overview: The screenplay for "Wild Wild West" possesses a strong foundation with its unique blend of genres, engaging characters, and action-packed plot. The witty dialogue, unpredictable twists, and creative visual elements contribute to its entertainment value. However, there are opportunities to enhance clarity, emotional depth, and thematic exploration to elevate the screenplay to its full potential.

Themes: Identity, Betrayal, Technology and Progress, The American Dream, Friendship and Camaraderie

Conflict and Stakes: West and Gordon's mission to stop Dr. Loveless from using his inventions to take over the United States, the safety of the country, and the lives of innocent civilians

Overall Mood: Fun and adventurous, with a touch of darkness

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

Scene 3: Tense and suspenseful, as West and Gordon infiltrate Loveless's lair

Scene 7: Humorous and lighthearted, as Gordon shows off his inventions

Scene 10: Dark and disturbing, as Loveless reveals his true nature

Scene 15: Exciting and action-packed, as West and Gordon fight Loveless and his henchmen

Standout Features:

Unique Hook: The film's unique blend of Western and science fiction elements

Plot Twist : The revelation that President Grant is actually Artemus Gordon in disguise

Distinctive Setting : The film's use of Monument Valley as a backdrop

Innovative Ideas : The film's use of gadgets and inventions

Unique Characters : The film's colorful and eccentric characters

Comparable Scripts:

The Wild Wild West (1999)

The Lone Ranger (2013)

Back to the Future Part III (1990)

Shanghai Knights (2003)

The Adventures of Tintin (2011)

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

Men in Black (1997)

The X-Files (TV series)

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015)

The Matrix (1999)

Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$100-150 million

Target Audience Demographics: Families, action-adventure fans, and fans of Westerns

Marketability: The screenplay has a strong concept, well-developed characters, and exciting action sequences that will appeal to a wide audience.

The screenplay's unique blend of Western and science fiction elements gives it a fresh and original feel that will stand out in the marketplace.

The screenplay's timely themes of unchecked scientific advancement and the importance of standing up to evil will resonate with audiences.

Profit Potential: High, due to its strong commercial appeal and potential for merchandising and sequels

Scene Level Percentiles

The screenplay exhibits strengths in concept, pacing, and unpredictability, but could benefit from further character development, emotional depth, and originality to achieve a well-rounded and impactful story.

Script Level Percentiles

**The method of calculating these has just changed**
Characters: 8.4 See More
Premise: 7.6 See More
Structure: 8.3 See More
Theme: 7.8 See More
Visual Impact: 7.1 See More
Emotional Impact: 6.6 See More
Conflict: 7.6 See More
Originality: 7.9 See More

Emotions Elicited Percentiles

Robert McKee: "The audience doesn’t go to the movies to see plot; they go to feel emotion, to be moved."
This is a rough estimate of how the average intensity of emotions elicited in this script compare to all scripts in the Vault (all genres).
Higher isn't necessarily better. This is FYI.

Key Strengths

High percentile in concept rating (88.03%) indicates a strong and original concept.
Impressive pacing (88.57%) ensures the screenplay maintains a good flow and keeps the audience engaged.
High unpredictability (90%) suggests the screenplay offers unexpected twists and turns, keeping the audience guessing.

Areas for Improvement

Relatively low character rating (14.53%) suggests the characters may need further development to make them more relatable and engaging.
Low emotional impact (19.66%) indicates the screenplay may benefit from exploring emotional depth and resonance more effectively.
Low originality (95.71%) suggests the concept, while strong, may have some similarities to existing works, requiring further differentiation.

Writer Style

The writer's style appears to lean toward intuition, with high percentiles in pacing, unpredictability, and concept rating, while dialogue and character development may require some attention.

Balancing Elements

To enhance the screenplay's balance, the writer could focus on developing more emotionally resonant characters while maintaining the strong concept and pacing.
Finding ways to increase originality while still maintaining the concept's strengths could further enhance the screenplay's potential.
Exploring ways to incorporate more character-driven dialogue could help bridge the gap between strong concept and character development.

Intuition Level

While the writer shows potential for intuitive writing with strong pacing and unpredictability, integrating more character development would create a more balanced approach.

Overall Assessment

The screenplay demonstrates a solid foundation with a strong concept, engaging pacing, and unpredictable elements. By addressing the areas for improvement, the writer can elevate the screenplay to its full potential.

How this was done: Each criteria is ranked in comparison to scripts in our Vault (such as The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.) This allows you to see where you stand compared to other produced scripts for each criteria.

How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library

Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.

Title	Grade	Percentile	Before	After
Scene Pacing	8.69	94	Shaun of the Dead: 8.68	Wild Wild West: 8.69
Scene Originality	8.95	91	The Addams Family: 8.93	Some like it hot : 8.95
Script Structure	8.30	86	Parasite: 8.20	Casablanca: 8.30
Scene Story Forward	8.6	84	Narcos Pilot: 8.5	the 5th element: 8.6
Scene Conflict Level	8.3	82	Pirates of the Caribbean: 8.2	Bad Boy: 8.3
Script Characters	8.40	82	Charlie and The Choclate Factory: 8.30	the dark knight rises: 8.40
Scene Engagement	9.00	81	The Addams Family: 8.99	fight Club: 9.00
Scene External Goal	7.48	74	Deep Cover: 7.46	Wild Wild West: 7.48
Scene Unpredictability	7.69	73	True lies: 7.67	Psycho: 7.69
Scene Concept	8.3	70	Parasite: 8.2	the 5th element: 8.3
Scene High Stakes	8.1	69	Mulholland Drive: 8.0	the boys (TV): 8.1
Script Conflict	7.60	56	Narcos: 7.50	face/off: 7.60
Scene Dialogue	7.8	46	Ted: 7.7	the dark knight rises: 7.8
Script Originality	7.90	43	The Addams Family: 7.80	Erin Brokovich: 7.90
Scene Overall	8.3	41	The Umbrella Academy: 8.2	fight Club: 8.3
Scene Plot	7.8	34	The Greatest Showman: 7.7	Erin Brokovich: 7.8
Scene Character Changes	6.4	23	Ted: 6.3	the 5th element: 6.4
Script Premise	7.60	22	Psycho: 7.50	True Blood: 7.60
Script Theme	7.80	21	2001: 7.70	the 5th element: 7.80
Scene Internal Goal	8.00	20	KILLING ZOE: 7.98	fight Club: 8.00
Overall Script	7.80	19	LA confidential - draft: 7.79	True Blood: 7.80
Script Visual Impact	7.10	13	Triangle of sadness: 7.00	Labyrinth : 7.10
Scene Characters	7.9	12	El Mariachi: 7.8	severance (TV): 7.9
Scene Emotional Impact	6.9	11	The Addams Family: 6.8	There's something about Mary: 6.9
Scene Formatting	7.98	8	fight Club: 7.96	Pawn sacrifice: 7.98
Script Emotional Impact	6.60	4	Fear and loathing in Las Vegas: 6.50	Mulholland Drive: 6.60
Script Structure	7.93	1	Battlefield Earth: 7.83	Wild Wild West: 7.93

Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by witty dialogue, fast-paced action, and a blend of humor and tension. The scenes are filled with clever banter, unexpected twists, and dynamic character interactions.

Best representation: Scene 10 - Hangin' with Coleman. This scene is the best representation because it showcases the writer's ability to blend action, humor, and character dynamics effectively, creating a playful and exciting atmosphere that highlights the personalities of the main characters.

Memorable Lines:

Morton: Nooooooo!!!! (Scene 1)
Gordon/Dora: And tell them I tried just the same... (Scene 5)
Dr. Loveless: Don't you just hate that song? (Scene 15)
Loveless: Two pair always beats a pair. (Scene 39)
WEST: Besides... there's a lot of other women in the world. (Scene 41)

Writing Style:

The screenplay predominantly features a blend of action, humor, and witty dialogue throughout its scenes. It seamlessly transitions between intense and lighthearted moments, creating a dynamic and engaging experience for readers.

Style Similarities:

Shane Black
Joss Whedon
Quentin Tarantino

Other Similarities: The screenplay also demonstrates versatility in incorporating elements from other genres, such as supernatural elements and philosophical themes. It effectively blends these diverse elements to create a cohesive and entertaining story.

Story Shape

Emotions Elicited

Engine: Gemini

Screenplay Rating:

Consider

Executive Summary

Wild Wild West is a genre-bending screenplay with a unique premise, memorable characters, and exciting action sequences. However, it suffers from uneven pacing, underdeveloped character arcs, and a reliance on crude humor. With some revisions to address these issues, the screenplay has the potential to be a successful and entertaining film.

Strengths

The screenplay features a unique blend of Western, steampunk, and comedic elements, creating a distinct and entertaining atmosphere. high
The dynamic between West and Gordon is a highlight, with their contrasting personalities and witty banter providing humor and driving the narrative. high ( Scene 40 Scene 137 )
Dr. Loveless is a memorable villain with a distinct personality and motivations, creating a compelling antagonist for the heroes. high ( Scene 56 Scene 172 Scene 174 )
The action sequences are well-choreographed and exciting, showcasing West's physical prowess and Gordon's inventive gadgets. medium
The screenplay explores themes of racism, discrimination, and the legacy of slavery, adding depth and social commentary to the story. medium ( Scene 75 Scene 137 )

Areas of Improvement

The pacing of the screenplay is uneven, with some scenes feeling rushed while others drag, particularly in the second act. high
Rita's character arc feels underdeveloped and her motivations are unclear, limiting her impact on the story. medium ( Scene 16 Scene 24 )
The screenplay's humor occasionally relies on slapstick and crude jokes, which may not appeal to all audiences. medium ( Scene 67 Scene 122 Scene 172 )
The portrayal of women in the screenplay is problematic, often relying on stereotypes and objectification. high
The ending feels abrupt and lacks a satisfying resolution for some character arcs and plot threads. medium

MissingElements

The screenplay could benefit from a stronger emotional core, exploring the characters' inner struggles and relationships in more depth. high
The motivations and goals of the foreign dignitaries are not fully explained, leaving their involvement in the plot somewhat unclear. medium ( Scene 172 Scene 174 )

NotablePoints

The Wanderer train, with its unique features and gadgets, is a memorable element of the screenplay. medium ( Scene 39 Scene 73 )
The Tarantula, with its imposing design and destructive capabilities, is a visually striking and effective antagonist. medium ( Scene 142 )

Engine: Claude

Screenplay Rating:

Consider

Executive Summary

The screenplay for 'Wild Wild West' is a ambitious and visually striking adventure that blends elements of action, comedy, and science fiction. While the narrative could benefit from tighter pacing and more consistent character development, the script showcases several standout sequences and inventive set pieces that demonstrate the potential for a compelling and entertaining film. The blend of historical figures and high-concept technology creates a unique and engaging backdrop for the central conflict between the protagonists and the antagonist, Loveless. With some refinement, this screenplay could be a strong contender for further consideration and development.

Strengths

The opening sequence effectively sets up the stakes and introduces the primary antagonist, McGrath, in a tense and visually engaging way. high ( Scene 1 (A1) )
The dialogue and character interaction between West and Gordon in this sequence showcases their distinct personalities and provides insight into their backstories and relationship dynamics. medium ( Scene 24 )
The sequence where West and Gordon construct the 'Desert Wasp' flying machine demonstrates their resourcefulness and ingenuity, and builds anticipation for their showdown with Loveless. medium ( Scene 37 )

Areas of Improvement

The introduction of the secondary characters and subplots at Fat-Can's feels a bit crowded and could be streamlined to maintain a tighter focus on the central conflict. medium ( Scene 6 )
The transition from the climactic fight between West and Loveless to the resolution at Promontory Point feels a bit abrupt and could benefit from additional development or a smoother narrative flow. medium ( Scene 21 )

MissingElements

The screenplay could benefit from more consistent character arcs and motivations, particularly for Loveless and his henchmen, to enhance the narrative depth and cohesion. medium ( Scene )
Additional world-building and exploration of the historical and sociopolitical context surrounding the story could provide more depth and resonance to the overall narrative. low ( Scene )

NotablePoints

The integration of West's alter ego 'Ebonia' as a clever disguise and distraction is a standout moment that showcases the creativity and resourcefulness of the characters. high ( Scene 35 )
The extended action sequence between West and Loveless's henchmen in the 'belly of the beast' is an impressive and well-choreographed set piece that heightens the tension and stakes of the conflict. high ( Scene 202 )

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Screenplay Insights:

Characters: 8.4, The screenplay features a blend of dynamic and compelling characters, contributing to an engaging narrative. The complexity and growth of the characters are effectively woven into the storyline, driving the screenplay's emotional depth. However, there are opportunities to refine certain aspects of character development to enhance the screenplay's overall impact. See More

Premise: 7.6, The screenplay for "Wild Wild West" presents a unique and action-packed premise, blending elements of Western, steampunk, and science fiction. While the core concept of two contrasting personalities teaming up to stop a villain with advanced technology is engaging, the premise's execution could benefit from further refinement to enhance clarity and long-term audience interest. See More

Structure: 8.3, The screenplay exhibits a solid narrative structure and intriguing plot, effectively building tension and interest throughout the story. The plot's complexity and the integration of themes enhance the screenplay's depth, making it an engaging and entertaining read. However, a few areas could benefit from refinement to improve coherence and pacing, ensuring the storyline's full potential is realized. See More

Theme: 7.8, The screenplay effectively engages with themes of justice, loyalty, and revenge, exploring the characters' motivations and the consequences of their actions. The message of the importance of teamwork and collaboration is also conveyed in a compelling way, highlighting the strength of unity. However, the script could benefit from further refinement in the clarity of its themes and the impact of its messages, as well as a more nuanced exploration of the theme of revenge. See More

Visual Impact: 7.1, The screenplay demonstrates a strong visual aesthetic, particularly in its vivid descriptions of the alfalfa field, metal disc, and General McGrath. However, it would benefit from greater consistency and innovation in its imagery throughout the screenplay. See More

Emotional Impact: 6.6, The screenplay showcases engaging characters and intriguing conflicts with the potential to evoke emotional responses. However, it would benefit from enhancing the depth and complexity of the characters' emotional experiences and the overall emotional narrative. Explorations of internal struggles and deeper motivations would strengthen the audience's connection to the characters. The screenplay could also explore a broader range of emotions and ensure consistency in tone to create a more impactful emotional journey. See More

Conflict: 7.6, The screenplay effectively leverages conflicts and stakes to engage the audience. However, there are opportunities to further intensify the central conflict and raise the stakes for the characters, enhancing overall narrative tension and audience engagement. See More

Originality: 7.9, The screenplay displays a clever and playful approach to storytelling, employing a blend of Western and science fiction elements to create a unique and entertaining narrative. Its creative use of characters and imaginative world-building sets it apart from typical genre offerings. See More

Summary "In a thrilling tale of adventure and espionage, U.S. Marshals Jim West and Artemus Gordon team up to stop the villainous Dr. Loveless from using a giant metal tarantula to divide the United States. As they face off against Loveless and his army of henchmen, they must navigate treacherous obstacles, daring escapes, and fierce battles to save President Grant and the country. Along the way, they uncover secrets, form unexpected alliances, and confront their own pasts. Will they be able to outwit Loveless and save the day, or will his insidious plot succeed? Find out in this action-packed journey full of twists, turns, and unexpected revelations."

Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The plot and story of this action-adventure screenplay have many positive elements, including a captivating premise and a diverse cast of characters. The central conflict, involving a villainous scientist who seeks to control the United States with an army of killer robots, is intriguing and provides ample opportunities for exciting action sequences. However, the plot suffers from a lack of focus and clarity, with numerous subplots and characters that are not fully developed or integrated into the main storyline. Additionally, the pacing is uneven, with some scenes dragging on while others feel rushed.

Suggestions: To improve the plot and story, consider streamlining the narrative by removing unnecessary subplots and characters. Focus on developing the main conflict and the characters involved in it, providing more depth and motivation for their actions. Tighten the pacing by cutting out unnecessary scenes and dialogue, and ensure that the action sequences are balanced with character development and emotional stakes.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here

Beginning The beginning of the screenplay starts strong with an attention-grabbing opening scene that introduces the protagonist and the central conflict. However, the pacing quickly becomes uneven, with some scenes feeling rushed and others dragging on. The introduction of the villain, Dr. Loveless, is effective, but his motivations are not fully fleshed out, making it difficult to understand his actions.

Suggestions: To improve the beginning, consider slowing down the pacing and allowing more time for character development and world-building. Expand on Dr. Loveless' backstory and motivations to make him a more compelling and understandable antagonist. Additionally, consider adding more scenes that establish the relationship between the protagonist and their allies, giving the audience a stronger emotional connection to the characters.

Middle The middle part of the screenplay suffers from a lack of focus and clarity. The plot becomes convoluted with numerous subplots and characters that are not fully developed or integrated into the main storyline. The pacing is also uneven, with some scenes dragging on while others feel rushed.

Suggestions: To improve the middle, consider streamlining the narrative by removing unnecessary subplots and characters. Focus on developing the main conflict and the characters involved in it, providing more depth and motivation for their actions. Tighten the pacing by cutting out unnecessary scenes and dialogue, and ensure that the action sequences are balanced with character development and emotional stakes.

Ending The ending of the screenplay is rushed and unsatisfying. The final confrontation between the protagonist and the antagonist lacks emotional weight, and the resolution of the conflict feels abrupt and unearned. The ending also introduces a new twist that is not fully explored or developed, leaving the audience with unanswered questions.

Suggestions: To improve the ending, consider expanding on the final confrontation between the protagonist and the antagonist, adding more emotional depth and stakes to the battle. Provide a more satisfying resolution to the main conflict, and avoid introducing new plot points or twists that are not fully explored. Additionally, give the audience a sense of closure by tying up any loose ends and answering any lingering questions.

CharacterInconsistencies

Character James West
Description West's initial hostility and aggression towards Gordon seem excessive and out of place. His willingness to resort to violence so quickly contradicts his later camaraderie and respect for Gordon.
( Scene 10 (38) Scene 11 (40) )
Character Artemus Gordon
Description Gordon's sudden interest in Rita and his attempts to impress her with his inventions seem inconsistent with his usual focus on duty and his intellectual demeanor.
( Scene 19 (66) Scene 20 (68) )

StoryInconsistencies

Description Miss Lippenreider's ability to lip-read from a significant distance and through obstacles stretches believability.
( Scene 7 (30) Scene 17 (61) )
Description Loveless's claim that his destination is 'both the future and the past' is cryptic and lacks clear context within the story.
( Scene 21 (73) )

PlotHoles

Description It is unclear how Gordon manages to replace the hanging rope with a trick rope without anyone noticing, especially considering the crowd's attention is focused on West.
( Scene 18 (64) )
Description Rita's sudden knowledge about the Louisiana Purchase and its connection to the plot seems convenient and unexplained.
( Scene 23 (85) )

DialogueAuthenticity

Description The Saloon Girl's dialogue with West feels anachronistic and lacks the formality expected of the time period.
( Scene 1 (3) Scene 2 (8) )
Description Gordon's comment about Rita's 'breath of fresh ass' seems out of character and vulgar.
( Scene 24 (86) )

Redundancies

Element West's disbelief about Professor Morton's head
( Scene 12 (47) )
Suggestion West's repeated exclamations about the head could be trimmed down for conciseness.
Element West and Gordon's arguments about their skills and approaches

Suggestion While the banter between West and Gordon is a key element of their dynamic, some of their arguments could be condensed or rephrased to avoid repetition.

🧠 Character Therapy: Let your character open up to an AI therapist and reveal hidden depths.

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West - Score: 84/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ESTP
Enneagram: 8

Scenes

Strongest: #35
Weakest: #11

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

A confident cowboy hero embracing modern challenges.

Complexity And Depth 8/10

A hero navigating racial prejudice with hidden insecurities.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 7/10

Jim experiences growth, but retains core traits.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Witty and confident, revealing personality traits.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Decisive and confident, though sometimes reckless.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Complex partnerships with Gordon and others.

Scene Impact 9/10

Central to major action scenes and emotional beats.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Protagonist driven by ideals and action.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Jim’s journey is essential to overarching themes.

Emotional Resonance 9/10

Exciting and empathetic, engaging audiences deeply.

Foundational Definition

Score: 9

Jim West is a skilled and resourceful protagonist who embodies the spirit of a cowboy with a modern twist. He's confident, charming, and capable, often relying on his quick reflexes and sharp wit to navigate the dangers he faces. His character is shaped by a desire for justice and a deep commitment to protecting the country from threats, making him a quintessential hero. However, he also battles racial prejudices, navigating a world where he must assert his agency.

Values And Beliefs: Justice, courage, independence.

Strengths And Skills: Combat skills, quick thinking, charm, marksmanship.

Suggestions

Highlight Jim's struggles with societal prejudices more prominently in key scenes.
Expand his backstory to include more details of his upbringing and early life.

Follow-up Questions

How do Jim's experiences with prejudice affect his interactions with allies?
What specific events in Jim's past have shaped his values and beliefs?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 8

Jim West possesses emotional depth stemming from navigating racism and its impact on his life. His bravado sometimes masks insecurities about how he's perceived by others, especially in a post-Civil War America. This complexity adds layers to his actions, making him not just a hero but a relatable character struggling to find his place.

Character Wound: Struggles with racial prejudice and societal expectations.

Character Flaws: Impulsiveness, tendency to underestimate opponents.

Suggestions

Deepen the exploration of Jim's emotional wounds through conversations with supporting characters.
Portray more moments of vulnerability when he's confronted by racism.

Follow-up Questions

How does Jim's internal conflict impact his decisions in critical moments?
In what ways does he reconcile his past with his present as a lawman?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 7

Throughout the screenplay, Jim evolves as he works alongside Gordon, recognizing the strength of partnership despite their differences. He learns to value intellect alongside his own physical prowess, while also confronting his prejudices. Yet, at his core, he remains a daring and independent spirit, which is crucial to his character.

Polarity Changes: Overcomes early biases about his partner but remains steadfast in his values.

Transformation Triggers: Interactions with Gordon and the threats posed by Loveless that force him to confront deeper issues.

Suggestions

Enhance the dynamic between Jim and Gordon to reflect evolving views of partnership.
Incorporate turning points that truly challenge Jim's worldview.

Follow-up Questions

What specific moments catalyze Jim's shift in perspective towards teamwork?
How does his relationship with Gordon influence his understanding of leadership?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Jim's dialogue reflects his charisma and charm, often filled with quick-witted humor that disarms adversaries and endears him to allies. His exchanges with other characters, particularly Gordon, show a playful rivalry that masks deeper respect and partnership.

Unique Voice: Cheeky humor, quick quips, and direct speaking style.

Suggestions

Infuse more layered subtext into Jim's dialogue to convey his internal struggles.
Use dialogue to further explore his racial identity and how it affects his perceptions.

Follow-up Questions

How does Jim’s tone shift when interacting with different social classes?
What moments in the screenplay showcase Jim’s failings or misjudgments through dialogue?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Jim’s choices are crucial to the plot, often driving conflict through his bravery and sometimes recklessness. He acts decisively, often jumping into action to protect others, but his impulsiveness can lead to complications that require him to learn and adapt.

Motivations: To uphold justice, protect the President, and confront evil.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires recognition and action, needs to confront his internal conflicts.

Suggestions

Show repercussions of Jim’s impulsive choices to create a more realistic arc.
Create moments where Jim’s decisions lead to direct consequences for his allies.

Follow-up Questions

How do Jim's choices create conflict within his relationships?
What are the consequences he faces from his reckless behavior?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Jim's relationship with Gordon is at the heart of the narrative, filled with rivalry, camaraderie, and growth. As they navigate their contrasting approaches to justice, Jim learns the value of intellect alongside his strengths.

Suggestions

Develop more scenes that deepen Jim’s bond with Gordon, showing how they lean on each other.
Include instances of teamwork that highlight Jim’s respect for Gordon’s abilities.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways do Jim’s relationships redefine his understanding of teamwork?
What conflicts arise from Jim's dynamic with Gordon, and how can they be resolved?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

Jim drives the action throughout the screenplay. His presence shifts the tone, introducing moments of levity amidst tension. His choices and actions impact other characters, setting the stage for both conflict and resolution.

Suggestions

Maximize Jim’s impact in quiet moments to balance his larger-than-life persona.
Create scenes where Jim’s actions lead to unexpected consequences that force him to adapt.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes showcase Jim’s influence most significantly on the plot's progression?
How does his character shape the emotional tone of key moments in the story?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

As the lead character, Jim West fulfills the role of the active hero fighting against tyranny. He embodies the struggle for justice, defiance in the face of prejudice, and the quest for equality. His actions resonate with the story's themes of freedom and sacrifice.

Symbolic Role: Embodies courage and determination in a racially charged world.

Suggestions

Ensure Jim’s conflict with Loveless symbolizes broader societal issues.
Infuse his actions with more depth to explore the ramifications of his heroism.

Follow-up Questions

How can Jim's role as a protector of justice be more explicitly tied to the screenplay's themes?
What changes could strengthen Jim's symbolic presence throughout the story?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

Jim’s character is a representation of the struggles and triumphs of African Americans during post-Civil War America. His quest against Loveless reflects the fight for agency, illustrating the ongoing battle against prejudice and for justice.

Suggestions

Highlight themes of justice and equality within Jim's character arcs by reinforcing his interactions with marginalized groups.
Use Jim's decisions to further echo the themes of the screenplay.

Follow-up Questions

How can Jim's character better exemplify the themes of freedom and social justice?
What moments can you add to enhance the integration of Jim's journey with the overarching plot?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 9

Jim West is built to resonate with the audience through his charisma, bravery, and emotional stakes. Viewers might feel exhilarated during his action sequences, while also feeling empathy during contemplative moments about his identity and values.

Emotional Impact: Elicits excitement and tension, also empathy in moments of resolve.

Suggestions

Incorporate more scenes that highlight Jim's vulnerabilities to deepen audience connection.
Use quieter moments for reflection to balance action with emotional depth.

Follow-up Questions

Which scenes do you think evoke the strongest emotional response toward Jim?
How can Jim's journey include challenges that lead to more profound audience engagement?

Personality Types

MBTI: estp

West demonstrates extroverted tendencies, quick decision-making, and a love for action, aligning with ESTP traits.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: entp (70%)

Suggestions

Explore more strategic elements in Jim's personality to reinforce traits associated with ENTJ.
Create scenarios that require him to showcase intuition alongside sensing.

Follow-up Questions

How could West's actions reflect a deeper intuition about others?
What environmental factors influence his approach to problem-solving?

Enneagram: 8

Jim exhibits traits of an Enneagram type 8, embodying strength, assertiveness, and a desire for control.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: 3 (75%)

Suggestions

Introduce moments that challenge Jim's need for control to deepen his character arc.
Show how his assertiveness can be a double-edged sword in personal interactions.

Follow-up Questions

What moments reveal Jim's vulnerabilities beneath his assertive exterior?
How does Jim's desire for autonomy conflict with teamwork throughout the screenplay?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (35)

West's confrontation with Loveless highlights his growth and emotional intensity.

Why: Shows his conflict and commitment to justice, providing a satisfying character moment.

Weakest Scene (11)

West's initial clash with the Rebs lacks depth and feels formulaic.

Why: The fighting style doesn't reveal much about his character beyond typical action hero antics.

Suggestions:

Enhance character interaction or inner dialogue during the fight.
Show how his past influences his combat strategy to add dimension.

Artemus - Score: 78/100

Aliases

Dora, Ebonia

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ENTP
Enneagram: 5w4

Scenes

Strongest: #12
Weakest: #16

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Gordon is a clever U.S. Marshal skilled in disguise and invention.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Gordon harbors emotional wounds and has a tendency to overthink.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 7/10

Gordon transitions from a clever sidekick to a more assertive hero by the end.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Gordon exhibits a blend of wit and intelligence in his dialogues.

Behavior And Choices 7/10

Gordon's decisions often stem from his values of intellect over brute strength.

Relationship Dynamics 9/10

Gordon's relationships highlight growth through camaraderie with West.

Scene Impact 8/10

Gordon's presence elevates scenes with intelligence and comic relief.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Gordon serves as both a partner and intellectual foil to West.

Thematic Plot Integration 7/10

Gordon's journey intertwines with themes of justice, friendship, and identity.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Gordon elicits sympathy and humor while engaging viewers emotionally.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Artemus Gordon is a U.S. Marshal and a key partner to Captain Jim West. Known for his sharp intellect and resourcefulness, he often employs disguises and elaborate inventions to solve problems and combat the antagonists. His background as an actor provides him with the skills needed to assume different identities, making him both a master of disguise and a quick thinker in tricky situations. These traits shape his worldview to value cleverness, creativity, and the importance of collaboration with West.

Values And Beliefs: Justice, intellect over brute force, collaboration.

Strengths And Skills: Disguise, invention, combat skills, ingenuity.

Suggestions

Explore more of his emotional complexities tied to being underestimated.
Show more scenes that reveal his past experiences that shape his decisions.

Follow-up Questions

What past events led to Gordon valuing intellect and creativity over brute strength?
How does Gordon's acting background affect his strategies in battle?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Gordon's character bears emotional wounds from his past, particularly linked to his family and the loss experienced during the war. These elements often drive him to prove his worth in a male-dominated environment. His flaws include overthinking and sometimes indulging in vanity over practical issues. Internal conflicts arise from his need to balance his intellectual approach with the more aggressive methods of West.

Character Wound: Fear of inadequacy and the need for recognition.

Character Flaws: Tendency to overthink, vanity, sometimes seen as overly cautious.

Suggestions

Delve deeper into his emotional responses to danger or threats to his friends.
Show scenes where he doubts his inventions particularly in high-stakes moments.

Follow-up Questions

How does Gordon's past influence his current partnerships?
In what ways do his internal conflicts manifest during action scenes?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 7

Throughout the screenplay, Gordon evolves from primarily relying on his intellect to understanding the importance of action. His initial hesitation transforms as he increasingly takes charge in critical moments. The culmination of his positive transformation is in how he asserts himself against Loveless, indicating he has developed both confidence and bravery.

Polarity Changes: Starts as an underestimated sidekick, evolves into a vital collaborator.

Transformation Triggers: Key battles that require him to take charge and reinforce his role alongside West.

Suggestions

Enhance his moments of indecision to show clearer disparity from his final assertiveness.
Create stronger contrasts between his earlier cautiousness and later decisiveness.

Follow-up Questions

What specific actions trigger his transformation into a more assertive role?
How does his relationship with West influence his character development?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Artemus' dialogue is characterized by clever banter and a well-educated tone, which reflects his background as an actor. His witty exchanges with West create a sense of camaraderie, while his more serious lines often reveal deeper fears or motivations. Additionally, he switches easily between different personas, showcasing his versatility.

Unique Voice: Witty remarks often juxtaposed with serious undertones reflecting his intelligence.

Suggestions

Incorporate more of his actor skills into interactions to further emphasize his versatility.
Craft dialogues that expose deeper layers of his confidence or insecurity.

Follow-up Questions

How does Gordon’s way of speaking change based on the identity he’s assuming?
What specific lines best reflect his intellect and emotional depth?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 7

Artemus consistently demonstrates a preference for intellect, using inventions and disguises to enhance their chances against foes. His choices reflect a moral compass directed towards justice, as seen in his approaches to danger. However, there are times when he hesitates, showing vulnerability that complicates his actions.

Motivations: To prove his worth and be a competent partner to West.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires recognition and respect; needs to overcome fears of inadequacy.

Suggestions

Highlight moments where he should choose bravery over caution to reinforce character growth.
Explore moral dilemmas he faces that test his values.

Follow-up Questions

In what moments does Gordon's intellect fail him, and how does he respond?
How do his choices reflect his internal struggles throughout the plot?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 9

Gordon's dynamic with West is central to the plot and illustrates themes of teamwork and trust. Their contrasting approaches balance each other, with Gordon's intellect often complementing West's bravado. This partnership evolves throughout the screenplay, as they both learn from each other and reinforce one another’s strengths. Furthermore, his interaction with Rita adds a romantic tension that adds depth to his character.

Suggestions

Increase the exploration of how his dynamic with West changes and strengthens over time.
Show more of his reactions to West’s methods to deepen understanding of their dynamics.

Follow-up Questions

How does Gordon’s relationship with West shape his decision-making?
What do his interactions with Rita reveal about his character growth?

Scene Impact

Score: 8

Artemus adds a critical layer to the screenplay by injecting humor amidst tension which creates a dynamic viewing experience. His inventive approaches often shift scenes from dire circumstances to opportunities for clever strategizing, reflecting his significance in preventing disasters through intellect.

Suggestions

Enhance scenes where his inventions save the day to underscore his pivotal role.
Focus on moments where he provides comic relief to balance intense action.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes lack Artemus’s influence and how does it impact the tone?
Which moments stand out as his most impactful contributions?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

Artemus Gordon fulfills the role of the rational thinker who balances West's sometimes reckless bravado. He embodies the ideals of teamwork and friendship that drive the narrative. This partnership challenges stereotypes of masculinity, as both characters prove that different strengths are required to achieve victories.

Symbolic Role: Represents intellect, creativity, and the importance of collaboration.

Suggestions

Flesh out scenes to emphasize his role as an intellectual counterpart.
Integrate moments that accentuate his strategic mind to heighten the message.

Follow-up Questions

How does Gordon’s character embody the themes of teamwork and partnership?
What moments in the story reinforce or challenge his symbolic role?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 7

Throughout the screenplay, Artemus's actions and growth reflect the broader themes of collaboration and personal redemption. His interplay with West showcases the balance of different skill sets necessary for overcoming obstacles. Gordon's personal journey of overcoming his emotional wounds enhances the narrative arc of the film, revealing how self-acceptance and friendship lead to triumph.

Suggestions

Weave his personal goals more tightly with the plot’s central conflicts.
Emphasize the intertwined journeys of West and Gordon to amplify thematic messages.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways do Gordon’s choices reflect the story's broader themes?
How can his character's challenges resonate with audience themes of identity?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Gordon evokes sympathy through his intellectual struggles and proves humorous through engaging quips and interactions, especially during moments of high tension. His actions often carry an emotional weight that resonates with audiences, especially as they relate to his bonding with West and other characters.

Emotional Impact: Sympathy, humor, tension.

Suggestions

Deepen moments of emotional conflict to heighten audience engagement.
Balance humor with emotional stakes for richer audience connections.

Follow-up Questions

What specific emotional reactions does Gordon elicit in critical scenes?
How does his character balance humor with serious themes?

Personality Types

MBTI: entp

Gordon displays traits of being imaginative, witty, and decentralized in his approach toward challenges.

Confidence: 75%

Possible Alternative Type: infp (20%)

Suggestions

Highlight the ENTP nature by exploring his quick thinking in various scenarios.
Create challenges that provoke ENTP-like problem-solving moments.

Follow-up Questions

How does Gordon's ENTP nature manifest in his decision-making processes?
What moments align with ENFP traits that could unveil deeper dimensions?

Enneagram: 5w4

Gordon exhibits traits of an Enneagram type 5 (the Investigator) infused with the individualistic flair of a 4.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: 6w5 (15%)

Suggestions

Utilize 5w4 dynamics to expand on his introspective moments in high-stakes scenes.
Show conflicts that draw out the adventurer spirit inherent in the 7w6 element.

Follow-up Questions

Which events pull Gordon into his 5w4 personality and how do they affect the plot?
How can his personality be developed to represent the positive aspects of both types?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (12)

Gordon's moments in the warehouse where he demonstrates quick thinking and invention.

Why: This reflects his intelligence and resourcefulness, central qualities in the narrative.

Weakest Scene (16)

The scene in Fat-Can's where he is objectified and mocked for his disguise.

Why: This weakens his character, showcasing him in a less favorable light as he is ridiculed.

Suggestions:

Strengthen his resilience when faced with ridicule to show character depth.
Include moments that highlight his capability despite objectification.

Gordon - Score: 82/100

Aliases

Dora, Ebonia

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ENTP
Enneagram: Type 3 - The Achiever

Scenes

Strongest: #40
Weakest: #12

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Character driven by intelligence and disguise skills.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Emotional depth stemming from past trauma and flaws in decision-making.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 8/10

Gordon evolves from a comical sidekick reliant on gadgets into a fully self-actualized hero.

Dialogue And Voice 9/10

Witty and clever, with a penchant for humor even in peril.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Artemus shows a mix of bravery and caution, often weighing outcomes before action.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Complex partnerships with West and Rita add depth to Gordon's character.

Scene Impact 9/10

Gordon's actions often pivotally change the dynamic of critical scenes.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Serves as a clever foil and partner to West, shaping the story's heroic dimension.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Embodies the themes of intelligence vs. brute force, friendship, and redemption.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Elicits humor, respect, and empathy through his character arc.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Artemus Gordon is a highly intelligent and resourceful U.S. Marshal, skilled in various forms of disguise and gadgetry. He values cunning and intellect, often preferring to outsmart opponents rather than engaging in physical conflict. His experience as an actor plays a significant role in his ability to adopt different personas. This foundational trait shapes his worldview, pushing him to navigate the story with a blend of humor and tenacity.

Values And Beliefs: Intelligence over brute force; the importance of disguise in mission success.

Strengths And Skills: Disguise, quick thinking, invention creation, martial arts skills.

Suggestions

Highlight more instances of Gordon using his acting skills to get out of tricky situations.
Expand on his background in theater to show how it enhances his perspective on conflict.

Follow-up Questions

What key event in Gordon's past could further establish his view on the value of intelligence in battle?
How does Gordon's theatrical background specifically influence his interactions with others?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Gordon possesses a deep emotional wound from his past, particularly linked to the traumatic memories surrounding President Lincoln's assassination, which he feels indirectly responsible for as a performer. This internal conflict influences his cautious yet brave demeanor and desire to prove himself as a capable agent. Additionally, his flaws include an occasional overreliance on gadgetry and theatricality, which can hinder straightforward decisions.

Character Wound: Trauma from Lincoln's assassination linked to his performance role.

Character Flaws: Occasional indecisiveness, overreliance on gadgets, and susceptibility to distractions from emotional issues.

Suggestions

Delve into Gordon's guilt regarding Lincoln's death, showing how it motivates his current actions.
Create conflict between his gadget reliance and the need for direct confrontations.

Follow-up Questions

How does Gordon's past trauma surface when he faces dangerous enemies?
What internal conflicts challenge his confidence in high-stakes situations throughout the screenplay?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 8

Initially, Gordon depends heavily on his gadgets and disguises, but as the story progresses, he learns to embrace his combat skills and bravery. Major turning points occur during confrontations with Loveless that push him to act decisively, leading to growth in his character beyond mere gadgetry.

Polarity Changes: Starts as humorous, transitions to serious under duress, ultimately embracing leadership.

Transformation Triggers: Facing Loveless and the dire situation with Grant.

Suggestions

Emphasize moments of decision-making that showcase Gordon's growth from gadget reliance to intuitive actions.
Incorporate dialogue that reflects Gordon's evolution from a supporting character to an essential hero.

Follow-up Questions

What specific experiences trigger Gordon to take more initiative throughout the story?
Are there moments early in the screenplay that foreshadow his transformation?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 9

Gordon's dialogue is characterized by his witty retorts and clever references. His ability to adapt his speech based on context and audience serves as a tool in both escaping situations and building rapport with others, showcasing his background in performance. This verbal agility makes him a memorable character.

Unique Voice: Playful banter, uses language artfully to both charm and disarm others.

Suggestions

Incorporate more elements of verbal comedy during tense situations to showcase his skill.
Utilize sarcasm more frequently when interacting with antagonists to emphasize his intelligence.

Follow-up Questions

What standout moments in Gordon's dialogue enhance his character without furthering the plot?
How does his dialogue change when he faces moments of vulnerability or fear?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Gordon is skilled at assessing situations and making choices that reflect his intelligence and desire to outsmart foes. While at times he can be overly cautious, his decisions gradually reflect a deeper commitment to justice and protecting his allies, culminating in a climactic confrontation with Loveless.

Motivations: Deep commitment to protecting not just the President but also upholding justice.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to prove himself as a hero; needs to confront his past insecurities.

Suggestions

Highlight Gordon's decision-making process during critical moments to emphasize his strategic mind.
Show more internal conflict when he must choose between risking his safety for others or relying on his gadgets.

Follow-up Questions

What critical decision does Gordon make that significantly alters the progress of the narrative?
How do his motivations evolve when he faces personal stakes in the conflict?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Gordon's relationships, particularly with West and Rita, showcase his vulnerabilities and strengths. His camaraderie with West brings out his playful side while also pushing him into more actionable roles, revealing his loyalty and courage. His interactions with Rita offer opportunities for emotional depth, especially as he navigates his feelings for her amidst chaos.

Suggestions

Develop the dynamics between Gordon and West further, showcasing how they balance each other out.
Intensify his interactions with Rita to add emotional stakes to their relationship in the face of danger.

Follow-up Questions

What specific moments between Gordon and West exemplify their evolving partnership?
How does Gordon's relationship with Rita change throughout the screenplay?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

In numerous key scenes, Gordon's speech and actions dramatically shift the narrative. His inventions and clever strategies introduce humor and resolve; thus, his presence can diffuse tension or create new conflicts. By integrating into and taking command of situations, he amplifies both the story's stakes and emotional depths.

Suggestions

Incorporate more varied actions that can shift scene dynamics, showcasing both his cleverness and unpredictability.
Highlight moments where his inventions backfire to elevate tension and engage audiences.

Follow-up Questions

Which scenes rely most significantly on Gordon's decisions, and how might they be reinforced?
What actions can Gordon take that would significantly heighten tension in pivotal moments?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

As the intelligent counterpart to West, Gordon fulfills the role of the strategist and planner. He often takes on the mantle of comedic relief while providing deeper emotional insights, thus balancing West's hyper-masculine action hero persona with his own unique strengths.

Symbolic Role: The rational thinker in opposition to West's action-oriented heroism.

Suggestions

Ensure that Gordon's contributions clearly complement West's actions, illustrating the strength of their dynamic.
Explore ways in which Gordon's character could act as a moral compass for West in critical decision moments.

Follow-up Questions

How does Gordon's intellect reshape the prospects of success for both characters?
What narrative threads can be used to connect Gordon's role back to the larger thematic elements of the screenplay?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Gordon's journey illustrates the struggle between intellect and brute force, showcasing how his resourcefulness and wit are crucial in overcoming adversities. His evolving camaraderie with West signals the strength found in unity, portraying loyalty and friendship amidst chaos as vital themes.

Suggestions

Elevate thematic resonance by emphasizing points where Gordon's intelligence triumphs over the antagonists' brute strength.
Connect his narrative journey with the overarching themes of justice and unity, particularly through his relationship dynamics.

Follow-up Questions

What thematic elements can be drawn out from Gordon's interactions in different settings throughout the story?
How do Gordon's conflicts and resolutions tie back into the screenplay's central ideas about teamwork and bravery?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Artemus Gordon elicits a range of emotional responses from the audience—from amusement through his witty banter to a profound respect for his bravery. His growth and complex backstory enable viewers to connect emotionally, particularly in scenes that bring his vulnerabilities to light.

Emotional Impact: Gordon's journey evokes empathy, humor, and admiration from the audience.

Suggestions

Deepen emotional scenes where Gordon confronts his failures or insecurities to enhance audience connection.
Integrate more lighthearted moments that balance his serious past, providing a more rounded emotional experience.

Follow-up Questions

Which emotional beats are most impactful regarding Gordon's development and why?
How can the screenplay fine-tune scenes to create a stronger emotional connection through Gordon's character?

Personality Types

MBTI: entp

Gordon's character displays traits synonymous with ENTP individuals—he is innovative, clever, and enjoys engaging in intellectual challenges, often involving humor.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: infp (15%)

Suggestions

Utilize the ENTP traits of inventiveness in dialogue and choices to showcase his cleverness.
Create more moments where Gordon debates ideas to display conflict resolution using wit over aggression.

Follow-up Questions

How does Gordon's imaginative nature as an ENTP shape his strategies during conflicts?
Are there times when he showcases introverted feelings that align with INFP qualities?

Enneagram: type 3 - the achiever

Gordon embodies the drive and determination of a Type 3, focused on achieving success and recognition while navigating his partner's more straightforward approach.

Confidence: 75%

Possible Alternative Type: type 7 - the enthusiast (25%)

Suggestions

Explore moments of achievement that showcase Gordon’s commitment to his role.
Use Type 3's energy to drive scenes where he needs to win approval or recognition.

Follow-up Questions

How do Gordon's choices reflect his desire for validation through accomplishments?
When does he exhibit the fear of failure commonly associated with Type 3s?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (40)

The scene where Gordon assists in the fight against Loveless showcases his bravery and intelligence effectively.

Why: This scene reveals Gordon's character depth, providing action that aligns with his intelligence and quick thinking.

Weakest Scene (12)

Gordon's initial disguise scene where he appears as a soiled dove is somewhat overshadowed by the humorous nature of the setting.

Why: While it showcases his undercover skills, it doesn’t allow for deeper character development or exploration of his complexities.

Suggestions:

Enhance this scene by adding internal dialogue that reveals Gordon's emotional state about performing in disguise.
Provide a more tangible conflict or stakes within this scene to elevate its importance.

Jim - Score: 84/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ESTP
Enneagram: Type 8 (The Challenger)

Scenes

Strongest: #11
Weakest: #49

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

A skilled U.S. Marshal with military background and quick wit.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Impulsive yet brave, struggling with emotional wounds from the past.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 8/10

A dynamic journey towards reconciliation and growth.

Dialogue And Voice 9/10

Witty, confident banter that reflects his personality.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Driven by instincts, often favoring action over contemplation.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Complex partnership with Gordon highlighted by conflict and camaraderie.

Scene Impact 9/10

Crucial to driving action and humor in key scenes.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Embodies the quintessential hero archetype.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Integrates deeply with themes of justice and unity.

Emotional Resonance 9/10

Creates excitement, tension, and humor through his character.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Jim West is a skilled and confident U.S. Marshal known for his quick wits and sharpshooting. He embodies the archetype of the rugged cowboy hero, often blending humor with bravery. His background includes significant military experience, which influences his combat style and determination to uphold justice. He holds strong values regarding freedom and loyalty, driven by his quest for justice against those who threaten the nation's well-being.

Values And Beliefs: Justice, freedom, loyalty.

Strengths And Skills: Excellent sharpshooter, skilled in hand-to-hand combat, quick thinker.

Suggestions

Deepen the exploration of his military background to enhance character depth.
Show more of his internal struggles with the moral implications of violence.

Follow-up Questions

How does West's military past shape his views on justice?
What specific events in his past have influenced his decisions in the screenplay?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Despite his bravado, West deals with emotional wounds tied to his past encounters and losses in war. He exhibits traits of impulsivity and bravado that sometimes lead him into danger. His relationship with Gordon adds layers to his character, revealing a partnership dynamic that blends friendship with tension. His flaws become apparent during moments of conflict where his eagerness to jump into action overshadows strategic thinking.

Character Wound: Guilt over past violence and loss.

Character Flaws: Impulsive, sometimes lacks foresight.

Suggestions

Portray moments of doubt or reflection to enhance his complexity.
Integrate backstory elements that illustrate his emotional struggle.

Follow-up Questions

What specific past events haunt West during his journey?
How does his relationship with Gordon impact his emotional state?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 8

Throughout the screenplay, West evolves from a solitary figure to one who learns the importance of partnership, especially with Gordon. His experiences in the face of Loveless's schemes push him to evaluate his loyalties and the concept of companionship. By the end, he embraces a more collaborative approach, indicating growth in his character arc.

Polarity Changes: Has moments of triumph and vulnerability throughout the screenplay.

Transformation Triggers: Encountering Loveless and being forced to confront his own values.

Suggestions

Highlight moments where West shows vulnerability to illustrate growth.
Provide clearer stakes when West faces decisions that define his journey.

Follow-up Questions

What are the pivotal moments that shift West's perspective?
How does his relationship with Gordon impact his willingness to adapt?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 9

West's speech patterns are marked by a blend of humor and assertiveness, which showcases his quick thinking and self-assurance. His witty banter often diffuses tense situations, and his confidence is evident in both his words and actions. As he interacts with others, especially Gordon, the dynamic flows with playful competition and camaraderie.

Unique Voice: West's dialogue often contains clever quips and boasts that emphasize his bravado and charisma.

Suggestions

Electric exchanges between him and Gordon could be emphasized further.
Incorporate more emotional undertones in his dialogue during serious moments.

Follow-up Questions

How can West’s dialogue further reflect his internal struggles?
What unique phrases or sayings could make his voice stand out more?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

West's actions are consistently fueled by his desire for justice and adventure, often leading to rash choices that put him in precarious situations. His quick-draw reactions and combat prowess come to the forefront in intense moments, showcasing his instinctual approach to conflicts. However, these choices sometimes reflect a need to develop deeper strategies rather than relying solely on brute force.

Motivations: Upholding justice and ensuring the safety of the nation.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to act heroically, needs to grow into strategic thinking.

Suggestions

Incorporate scenes where West must reflect on his decisions before acting.
Show moments when his quick thinking leads to unintended consequences.

Follow-up Questions

In what situations does West learn to pause and think strategically?
How do the consequences of his actions shape his relationship with Gordon?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

West’s relationship with Gordon is foundational to the narrative, providing both comedic relief and depth. Their dynamic often oscillates between friendly rivalry and mutual respect. West’s initial reluctance to fully rely on Gordon showcases his independence but also sets the stage for eventual teamwork and collaboration. The development of their bond reflects the broader theme of unity.

Suggestions

Add more moments of vulnerability between West and Gordon.
Explore how their relationship influences their decision-making process.

Follow-up Questions

What challenges do they face together that could deepen their bond?
How do their differences complement each other's skills?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

West's presence is central to many action sequences, often injecting humor and sprightliness even during tense moments. His confident demeanor helps propel the plot, especially as he confronts villains or engages in witty exchanges. Associating him with dynamic physicality and quick humor reshapes the emotional tone of scenes, allowing them to transition seamlessly from violence to levity.

Suggestions

Ensure West's actions move scenes forward effectively without losing humor.
Create more contrasts in his emotional responses to enhance scene dynamics.

Follow-up Questions

How can West’s actions in a scene redefine the stakes involved?
What moments can use him as a bridge between action and character development?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

As the protagonist, Jim West personifies the classic hero—brave, charming, and skilled. His quest to thwart Loveless and protect the president places him at the heart of the conflict. His actions and growth are vital not just for the plot, but also for underscoring the narrative's themes of partnership, unity, and the moral complexities involved in upholding justice.

Symbolic Role: Represents freedom and justice in a turbulent post-war America.

Suggestions

Strengthen the themes of sacrifice and bravery through his choices.
Explore moments where West's actions serve as a foil to Loveless's villainy.

Follow-up Questions

What contradictions lie within West that can enhance his hero status?
How can other characters challenge or support his heroic role?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

West's character arc intersects with major themes throughout the screenplay, such as loyalty, justice, and the struggle against oppression. His journey emphasizes the necessity of collaboration and understanding diverse perspectives in a divided society. By remaining steadfast in his commitment to justice, he reinforces the narrative's exploration of unity amid chaos.

Suggestions

Amplify moments where West's actions directly challenge the narrative's themes.
Refine conflicts that highlight his struggle for justice against personal stakes.

Follow-up Questions

What specific moments can deepen his connection to central themes?
How do his actions influence the story’s exploration of justice?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 9

Jim West’s actions and choices resonate on multiple emotional levels throughout the screenplay. As a result, he becomes a conduit for the audience's adrenaline and sympathies, especially during high-action moments and personal challenges. The comedy woven into West's character adds levity, making his journey more approachable and relatable.

Emotional Impact: Evokes excitement and tension while engaging viewers in the quest for justice.

Suggestions

Highlight moments of vulnerability to enhance emotional connection with the audience.
Increase the stakes in action scenes to heighten audience investment.

Follow-up Questions

How can moments of personal reflection evoke more audience empathy?
What key scenes can deepen the emotional stakes for West?

Personality Types

MBTI: estp

Character shows traits of being energetic, action-oriented, and a natural problem solver.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: entp (70%)

Suggestions

Integrate more strategic planning to reflect traits of an ENTJ.
Portray moments that show a balance between action and contemplation.

Follow-up Questions

In what situations does West act with a more calculated approach?
How can his decisions illustrate inner workings of his personality more clearly?

Enneagram: type 8 (the challenger)

West exhibits characteristics of an assertive and powerful leader aiming for control and independence.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: type 7 (the enthusiast) (65%)

Suggestions

Facilitate deeper exploration of vulnerability to balance the Type 8 traits.
Incorporate more adventurous elements to highlight Type 7 aspects.

Follow-up Questions

When does West forgo a desire for control in favor of collaboration?
How does the interplay of his 8's characteristics during conflict shape his decisions?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (11)

West crashes down into the warehouse with a cool demeanor after being momentarily distracted.

Why: This highlights his confidence, showcases his wit, and establishes his capability under pressure.

Weakest Scene (49)

When West engages in mock banter about disguises and costumes.

Why: The humor is forced, detracting from the tension in the scene and reducing West's overall impact.

Suggestions:

Refine dialogue to improve authenticity and keep tension steady.
Integrate his skills into discussions to show a blend of action-oriented qualities with humor.

Theme

Theme Details

Theme Explanation

Identity (35%)

Jim West's Indian upbringing and Gordon's hidden past as an actor, Rita's fake last name, and Loveless's obsession with masks and disguises

The theme of identity explores the complexities of self-discovery, societal expectations, and the search for one's true self.

Strengthening Identity:

Suggestion Type	How to Strengthen the Theme
Dialogue - Scene 2	As West and Saloon Girl are dressing, have West express his frustration at having to hide his identity, highlighting the inner turmoil he feels about his true self.
Action - Scene 5	During Gordon's encounter with General McGrath, have him use his quick thinking and gadgets to gain the upper hand, demonstrating his resourcefulness and adaptability.
Visual - Scene 13	In the scene where West and Gordon discuss their disguises, incorporate a mirror or reflective surface to visually emphasize the contrast between their different personas and the internal struggle they face in concealing their true identities.
Character Arc - Scene 29	As West and Gordon share their personal stories, have West reveal a deeper understanding of his identity, acknowledging the complexities and struggles he has faced as a former slave.
Story Arc - Scene 35	In the scene where West disguises himself as a Chanteuse, have him confront Loveless directly, using his cunning and bravery to expose Loveless's true intentions and further the narrative's conflict.

Betrayal (25%)

Loveless's treachery towards his allies, General McGrath's double-crossing, and the clash between West and Gordon's opposing motives

The theme of betrayal examines the devastating consequences of broken trust, the pain of deception, and the moral dilemmas faced when loyalties are tested.

Technology and Progress (20%)

Loveless's advanced weaponry and inventions, the destruction caused by the nitro wagon, and the race to complete the transcontinental railroad

The theme of technology and progress delves into the double-edged nature of scientific advancements, the potential for both great benefits and disastrous consequences.

The American Dream (15%)

Loveless's desire to divide the United States, West's fight for justice, and the symbolic completion of the transcontinental railroad

The theme of the American Dream explores the ideals of freedom, equality, and opportunity, while also acknowledging the challenges and obstacles faced by those seeking to achieve it.

Friendship and Camaraderie (5%)

The unlikely partnership between West and Gordon, Rita's loyalty to both men, and the camaraderie among the scientists kidnapped by Loveless

The theme of friendship and camaraderie celebrates the power of human connections, the importance of trust, and the resilience of the human spirit in the face of adversity.

Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site	Description
Studio Binder	Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly	Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August	Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics	Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme	Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script	Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts

Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal Goals	The protagonist's internal goal is to protect others, maintain control, and seek justice
External Goals	The protagonist's external goal is to navigate dangerous situations, prevent harm, and stop the antagonist's plans
Philosophical Conflict	The overarching philosophical conflict is between justice and chaos, loyalty and duty, and survival and sacrifice.

Character Development Contribution: The evolving internal and external goals challenge the protagonist, leading to growth, redemption, and understanding of self

Narrative Structure Contribution: The goals and conflicts drive the action, tension, and resolution throughout the screenplay, shaping the plot and character arcs

Thematic Depth Contribution: The exploration of justice, loyalty, survival, and sacrifice adds layers of complexity and depth to the themes of duty, morality, and heroism in the screenplay

Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site	Description
Creative Screenwriting	How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder	What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict	How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great	By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals	By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?

What's going on here? - Scenes are rated on many critreia. The goal isn't to try to maximize every number; \ It's to make you aware of what's happening in your scenes. You might have very good reasons to have character development but not advance the story, or have a scene without conflict. Obviously if your dialogue is really bad, you should probably look into that.

Abbreviate Headers

Story Content

Character Development

Scene Elements

Audience Engagement

Technical Aspects

			Story Content			Character Development				Scene Elements					Audience Engagement				Technical Aspects
Click for Full Analysis	Tone	Overall	Concept	Plot	Originality	Characters	Character Changes	Internal Goal	External Goal	Conflict	Opposition	High stakes	Story forward	Twist	Emotional Impact	Dialogue	Engagement	Pacing	Formatting	Structure
1 - Flight from the Silver Death Disc	Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense, Mysterious	8	9	8	9	7	6	8	7	9	8	9	8	8	7	7	9	9	8	8
2 - Towering Inferno	Humorous, Sarcastic, Action-packed	8	8	7	9	8	5	8	7	7	8	6	8	8	6	9	9	9	8	8
3 - Merchandise and Mishaps at the Brothel	Humorous, Suspenseful, Sarcastic	8	8	7	9	9	6	8	7	7	8	6	8	8	6	8	9	9	8	8
4 - West and Gordon/Dora's Daring Night	Humorous, Sarcastic, Playful, Violent	8	8	7	9	8	7	8	9	8	8	7	9	8	7	9	9	9	8	8
5 - Showdown at Fat-Can's	Humorous, Suspenseful, Exciting	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	9	8	8	8	9	8	6	7	9	9	8	8
6 - Boudoir Brawl and Midnight Shootout	Humorous, Suspenseful, Action-packed	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	7	8	9	9	8	8
7 - Loveless's Infernal Plot	Suspenseful, Humorous, Dramatic	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	9	9	8	8	9	8	8	7	9	9	8	8
8 - Unmasking the Imposter	Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense, Humorous	9	9	9	9	9	8	8	7	9	9	9	9	8	8	8	9	8	8	8
9 - Mission Briefing: Unmasking the Threat	Humorous, Suspenseful, Dramatic	8	8	8	9	7	7	8	7	8	8	9	9	7	6	9	9	9	8	8
10 - Train Showdown	Humorous, Action-packed, Sarcastic	8	9	7	9	8	7	8	9	8	8	7	8	8	6	8	9	9	8	8
11 - Hangin' with Coleman	Humorous, Suspenseful, Action-packed	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	8	7	8	9	8	6	9	9	9	8	8
12 - The Severed Head	Suspenseful, Exciting, Intriguing	8	9	8	9	7	5	8	7	8	8	8	9	7	6	6	9	9	8	8
13 - Disguise Debate on the Night Train	Humorous, Suspenseful, Action-packed	8	8	7	9	8	5	8	7	8	7	7	9	7	6	9	9	8	8	8
14 - Infiltration and Conversations	Suspenseful, Humorous, Mysterious	8	8	7	9	7	5	8	7	8	8	8	9	7	6	7	9	9	8	8
15 - Surreal Encounter at Dr. Loveless's Mansion	Surreal, Cocky, Dangerous, Humorous, Dramatic	8	8	7	9	9	6	8	7	8	8	7	8	9	7	8	9	8	8	8
16 - Eavesdropping and Flirtation	Suspenseful, Humorous, Mysterious	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	8	7	9	9	7	6	7	9	8	8	8
17 - Attack at the Loveless Mansion	Suspenseful, Humorous, Mysterious, Dramatic	9	8	9	9	9	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	9	8	8
18 - Captives and Cages	Humorous, Suspenseful, Intriguing	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	8	7	8	8	7	7	9	9	8	8	8
19 - Rescue at Loveless Mansion	Humorous, Sarcastic, Dramatic	8	7	8	9	8	7	8	7	9	7	8	9	8	6	7	9	8	8	7
20 - Battle at Spider Canyon	Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense, Humorous	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	9	8	8
21 - Arrival at Malheureux Point	Suspenseful, Dramatic, Mysterious	8	9	8	9	7	6	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	9	9	8	8
22 - Shoreline Discovery and a Journey to Utah	Suspenseful, Humorous, Dramatic	8	8	8	8	7	6	8	7	8	8	9	9	8	6	7	9	9	8	8
23 - Loveless's Mysterious Foreign Guests	Humorous, Suspenseful, Informative	8	8	7	9	9	6	8	7	7	8	7	8	7	6	8	9	9	8	8
24 - Confrontation on the Rails	Humorous, Suspenseful, Exciting	8	8	7	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	7	6	7	9	9	8	8
25 - Confrontation on the Wanderer	Suspenseful, Humorous, Dramatic	8	8	7	9	8	7	8	9	9	8	9	8	8	7	9	9	9	8	8
26 - Loveless's Escape	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Menacing	8	8	8	8	7	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	8	7	7
27 - Narrow Escape from the Discs	Tense, Humorous, Exciting, Suspenseful	9	9	8	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	7
28 - Canyon Calamity	Humorous, Frantic, Sarcastic	8	7	7	9	9	4	8	9	6	8	5	7	7	5	8	9	9	8	8
29 - The Fireside Confessions	Suspenseful, Intense, Reflective, Informative	8	8	7	9	9	8	8	7	7	7	8	7	7	8	8	9	8	8	8
30 - Into Spider Canyon	Humorous, Exciting, Suspenseful	8	8	7	9	8	6	8	9	8	8	9	9	7	7	9	9	8	8	8
31 - Gordon/Grant vs. Loveless	Tense, Dramatic, Humorous	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	7	7	9	9	8	8
32 - West's Defeat	Intense, Dramatic, Suspenseful, Humorous	9	9	8	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	7	8	7	9	9	8	8
33 - West's Recovery and Loveless's Plan	Dramatic, Intense, Suspenseful, Humorous	8	8	9	9	8	7	8	7	9	7	9	9	8	7	7	9	8	9	8
34 - Ultimatum at Dusk	Tense, Dramatic, Suspenseful	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	9	9	9	9	9	8	8	7	9	9	8	8
35 - The Chanteuse's Deception	Humorous, Sarcastic, Entertaining, Lighthearted	8	8	7	9	7	4	8	7	6	7	5	7	8	5	8	9	8	8	8
36 - Escape from the Inferno	Tense, Exciting, Humorous, Dramatic	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	9	7	8
37 - Attack on the Tarantula Bridge	Tense, Exciting, Dramatic	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	9	9	8	10	9	7	8	8	9	9	8	8
38 - Clash on the Tarantula	Intense, Humorous, Sarcastic	9	9	8	9	8	7	8	7	9	9	9	8	8	7	7	9	9	8	8
39 - Deadly Deck Duel	Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Humorous	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	9	9	8	8
40 - Confrontation on the Brink	Tense, Humorous, Dramatic	8	8	7	9	8	6	8	7	9	8	9	8	8	7	9	9	9	8	8
41 - Completion of the Transcontinental Railroad and Creation of the Secret Service	Humorous, Light-hearted, Reflective	8	8	7	9	8	7	8	9	5	7	4	7	8	8	7	9	8	8	8
42 - Sunset in Monument Valley	Humorous, Sarcastic, Tense, Dramatic	8	8	7	9	8	8	8	7	9	7	9	9	7	7	9	9	9	8	8

Summary of Scene Level Analysis

Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.

Scene Strengths

Engaging plot
Dynamic characters
Witty dialogue
High stakes
Exciting action sequences

Scene Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Limited character development
Some cliched elements
Slightly predictable outcomes
Some elements may be overly complex for casual viewers

Suggestions

Focus on developing the emotional depth and backstory of the characters to create a stronger connection with the audience
Avoid using cliched dialogue and plot devices, strive for originality and surprise to keep the audience engaged
Strive to balance complexity with accessibility, ensuring that the story is understandable and engaging to a wide range of viewers
Consider working with a script consultant or incorporating feedback from others to refine and strengthen the screenplay
Study and learn from successful screenplays and filmmakers to further develop skills and improve craft

World Building

Physical environment: The physical environment depicted in the screenplay is a diverse and dynamic landscape, ranging from lush fields to arid deserts, Victorian-era cities, and steampunk-infused technological structures. These varied settings contribute to the sense of adventure and intrigue that permeates the narrative.
Culture: The screenplay portrays a blend of cultures, with elements drawn from the Wild West, Native American traditions, and Victorian society. This cultural diversity creates a rich tapestry that adds depth and complexity to the story.
Society: The societal structure is characterized by a clash between traditional values and the rise of technology. The screenplay explores the tensions between the old and the new, as well as the impact of power dynamics on individuals.
Technology: Technology plays a pivotal role in the screenplay, with a mix of advanced steampunk inventions and traditional weaponry. The integration of technology into the Wild West setting creates a unique and visually captivating atmosphere.
Characters influence: The world elements have a profound influence on the characters' experiences and actions. The harsh physical environment tests their resilience and resourcefulness, while the cultural diversity challenges their preconceptions and shapes their relationships. The societal structure dictates their roles and opportunities, and the technological advancements provide them with both advantages and threats.
Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute significantly to the narrative of the screenplay. The physical environment provides a backdrop for the action sequences and serves as a source of obstacles and opportunities for the characters. The culture adds richness and authenticity to the story, while the society creates conflict and drama. The technology drives the plot forward and introduces new challenges for the characters to overcome.
Thematic depth contribution: The world elements contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring themes such as the struggle between good and evil, the clash between tradition and modernity, and the impact of power on individuals. The physical environment symbolizes the challenges and dangers that the characters must face, while the culture represents the diversity and complexity of human society. The societal structure highlights the importance of justice and equality, and the technology symbolizes both progress and potential destruction.

Voice Analysis
Summary:	The writer's voice is characterized by witty dialogue, fast-paced action, and a blend of humor and tension. The scenes are filled with clever banter, unexpected twists, and dynamic character interactions.
Voice Contribution	The writer's voice contributes to the script by creating a sense of excitement, unpredictability, and engagement for the audience. The blend of humor and tension adds depth to the characters and enhances the overall mood and theme of the screenplay.
Best Representation Scene	10 - Train Showdown
Best Scene Explanation	This scene is the best representation because it showcases the writer's ability to blend action, humor, and character dynamics effectively, creating a playful and exciting atmosphere that highlights the personalities of the main characters.

Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Pattern	Explanation
Scenes with high 'Suspenseful' ratings also tend to have high 'Emotional Impact'	A correlation exists between scenes rated highly for 'Suspenseful' tone and those that also receive high scores for 'Emotional Impact'. This suggests that the writer effectively uses suspense to elicit strong emotions from the reader.
Scenes with high 'Intense' ratings frequently have high 'Conflict' ratings	Scenes rated highly for 'Intense' tone often coincide with those that receive high scores for 'Conflict'. This indicates that the writer successfully creates moments of heightened tension and drama through the exploration of conflicts.
Scenes excelling in 'Dialogue' tend to score well in 'Emotional Impact'	Scenes that receive high ratings for 'Dialogue' often correspond with those that also score highly for 'Emotional Impact'. This suggests that the writer's ability to craft engaging dialogue contributes significantly to the emotional resonance of the scenes.
Scenes rated highly for 'Suspenseful' or 'Dramatic' tones frequently have high 'Character Changes'	Scenes that receive high ratings for 'Suspenseful' or 'Dramatic' tones often coincide with those that also have high scores for 'Character Changes'. This indicates that the writer умело uses these tones to facilitate significant character development and growth.
Scenes with high 'Action-packed' ratings often excel in 'Plot' and 'Move story forward'	Scenes rated highly for 'Action-packed' tone frequently correspond with those that also receive high scores for 'Plot' and 'Move story forward'. This suggests that the writer effectively uses action sequences to advance the narrative and keep the reader engaged.

Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

The provided scenes showcase the writer's strong storytelling abilities, with a blend of engaging action, humor, character development, and unique genre combinations. The writer effectively balances these elements to create dynamic and memorable scenes that drive the narrative forward and captivate the audience. However, there are some areas where the writing could be further refined to enhance the overall impact and quality of the screenplay.

Key Improvement Areas

Dialogue and pacing

Several scenes highlight the need for improvement in crafting engaging dialogue and maintaining a consistent pacing throughout the screenplay. The dialogue could benefit from more depth, authenticity, and a balance of exposition with natural-sounding conversations. Additionally, some scenes could be tightened to avoid lulls or unnecessary elements that slow down the pace of the story.

Character development

While the scenes generally introduce compelling characters with unique traits, there is room for further exploration of their motivations, backstories, and inner conflicts. Developing the characters' depth and complexity will enhance the audience's connection to them and add emotional weight to their actions and decisions.

Genre blending

The writer demonstrates skill in blending genres to create unique and engaging narratives. To further enhance this strength, it would be beneficial to study successful examples of genre-bending screenplays and explore innovative ways to combine elements from different genres while maintaining a cohesive storyline.

Suggestions

Type	Suggestion	Rationale
Screenplay	Read 'Save the Cat!' by Blake Snyder	This book provides valuable insights into structuring scenes, developing characters, and crafting engaging stories. It will help the writer refine their storytelling techniques and improve the overall flow of their screenplay.
Exercise	Practice writing dialogue-driven scenes with unexpected twists and hidden identitiesPractice In SceneProv	This exercise will enhance the writer's ability to create dynamic and unpredictable scenes, adding depth to their characters and keeping the audience engaged.
Video	Watch 'The Art of Pacing in Screenwriting' video	This video will provide valuable tips and techniques for maintaining a consistent pace throughout the screenplay, ensuring that the story unfolds smoothly and captivates the audience.

Additional Notes: Overall, the screenplay showcases the writer's strong potential and unique storytelling voice. By focusing on the identified areas for improvement and incorporating the suggested exercises and resources, the writer can refine their craft and create even more impactful and engaging screenplays.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope	Trope Details	Trope Explanation
Dream Sequence	The flashback sequence that take place at the opening of the screenplay.	A dream sequence is a scene or set of scenes in a film or television show that takes place in the mind of a character. Dream sequences are often used to provide exposition, to foreshadow future events, or to explore the character's subconscious mind.
Chekhov's Gun	The metal disc introduced in the opening action sequence that returns later in the script to kill Hudson.	Chekhov's Gun is a dramatic principle that states that every element in a story must be necessary, and if it is introduced early on in the story it will eventually be used later on.
The Cavalry Arrives	Gordon and Rita arrive just in time to save West from the angry mob.	The Cavalry Arrives is a trope where a character or group of characters is saved from danger by the timely arrival of reinforcements.
Damsel in Distress	Rita is kidnapped and held captive by Loveless.	The Damsel in Distress is a trope where a female character is kidnapped or otherwise held captive by the villain, and must be rescued by the hero.
Evil Genius	Dr. Loveless is a mad scientist who creates a giant metal tarantula to take over the world.	The Evil Genius is a trope where the villain is a brilliant scientist who uses his intelligence to create weapons and gadgets to carry out his evil plans.
Final Battle	The final confrontation between West, Gordon, and Loveless on the Tarantula bridge.	The Final Battle is a trope where the hero and the villain face off in a climactic battle that will determine the fate of the world.
MacGuffin	The bag of coins that McGrath gives to Gordon.	A MacGuffin is an object, person, or event that is essential to the plot of the story, but has no intrinsic value or meaning.
Men on a Mission	West and Gordon team up to stop Loveless and his evil plans.	Men on a Mission is a trope where a group of characters come together to complete a specific goal.
Mentor	Gordon acts as a mentor to West, teaching him about the world and how to fight evil.	The Mentor is a trope where a wise and experienced character guides and protects a younger and less experienced character.
Race Against Time	West and Gordon have a limited amount of time to stop Loveless before he takes over the world.	The Race Against Time is a trope where the characters must complete a task before a certain deadline, or else face dire consequences.

Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number	Line
1	Morton: Nooooooo!!!!
5	Gordon/Dora: And tell them I tried just the same...
15	Dr. Loveless: Don't you just hate that song?
39	Loveless: Two pair always beats a pair.
41	WEST: Besides... there's a lot of other women in the world.

Some Loglines to consider:

Two mismatched Secret Service agents, a charming gunslinger and a brilliant inventor, team up to stop a vengeful Confederate scientist from assassinating the President and dividing the nation with a giant mechanical spider.
A suave government agent and a master of disguise must overcome their differences and work together to thwart a diabolical plot that threatens the future of the United States.
In a Wild West filled with steam-powered gadgets and outlandish villains, two unlikely heroes embark on a thrilling adventure to save the nation from a madman's mechanical monstrosity.
In the aftermath of the Civil War, two government agents must stop a brilliant but deranged scientist from using his advanced technology to take over the United States.
A pair of unlikely partners, one a rugged cowboy and the other a sophisticated inventor, race against time to rescue the President and prevent a madman from destroying the newly united country.
When a former Confederate general hatches a plot to divide America and seize power, two government agents must put aside their differences and use their unique skills to thwart his diabolical scheme.
In the Wild West, a deadly game of cat-and-mouse unfolds as a brilliant but disabled scientist seeks to tear the country apart, and the only thing standing in his way is a skilled pair of government agents.
In the aftermath of the Civil War, a renegade scientist armed with advanced technology threatens to unravel the fragile unity of the United States, forcing two unlikely heroes to put aside their differences and save the nation.

Help & FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

Start with the executive summary to get a bird's eye view.
After that, the high-level menu will offer insights into the story, themes, and characters.
The scene-by-scene analysis will demonstrate how each scene performs across various criteria, summarized in the column headings.
Click on any scene title to view the full analysis, including critiques and suggestions for improvement.
'Other Analyses' provides various insights into your writing and different perspectives, although it might not lead to significant rewrites of your script.

Click on the Print Analysis link in the left menu. You can then print to PDF or save it as PDF.

Click the Scene Analysis link on the left menu. Next to each scene title you can click "improve". In the improve page you can select any scene from your script to work on.

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SceneProv is a game that helps you improve your craft.
You can play it for free. If you have scripts analyzed, the AI might recommend exercises from SceneProv to help you improve your writing. Go to the craft tab to see what it recommended.
Let the AI take a turn when you're blocked or you want to riff on a scene. Each scene you create in SceneProv gets graded at the end.

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A1 EXT. ALFALFA FIELD - NIGHT A1

A slight breeze gently sways the green and purple crop.
The CHIRP of CICADA is the only sound.

SUPERIMPOSE: 1868 - ST. TAMMANY PARISH, LOUISIANA

But suddenly the CHIRPING GETS LOUDER and LOUDER --
BZZZZZ! -- until we realize it's not the cicadas, but
a --

SWOOOSH! A lethal, razor-sharp DISC BUZZES up over the
horizon, swoops TOWARD the CAMERA and OUT OF FRAME!

The CAMERA SPINS AROUND to see the disc flying away,
chasing a man, THADDEUS MORTON, wearing a strange
metallic collar -- exhausted, horrified, about to die.

NEW ANGLE - MORTON

He looks over his shoulder, panting -- he's been running
forever.

MORTON
(mumbling)
Madman... Hideous spider... Run...
Run! Warn the President...

Morton zig-zags through a grove of trees, a desperate
attempt to avoid the horrible serrated disc. But the
ruse is futile. The disc goes straight through the
trees, slicing a path straight as the crow flies.

NEW ANGLE - OLD WAGON

dilapidated, broken down, weathering away in the field.
Morton runs around the wagon -- but the DISC BUZZES
straight through the sideboards! Wood shavings spit
everywhere! There's no stopping this thing.

NEW ANGLE - MORTON

running for his life -- stops, turns. He turns,
incomprehensibly mumbling, pleading for his life,
cowering.

MORTON
Noooooooo!!!!!

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 2.

A1 CONTINUED: A1

And the DISC SWOOSHES TOWARD the CAMERA -- BZZZZZZZ!

CUT TO:

BLACK

DISSOLVE TO:

NIGHT SKY FULL OF STARS - LOW ANGLE

A man leans INTO FRAME. This is GENERAL McGRATH. And
he's there to collect the silver death disc.

McGRATH
(to the unseen,
dead Morton)
And they says you scientists are
supposed to be smart.

1 EXT. DUSTY ROAD - LOW ANGLE - NIGHT 1

HOOVES THUNDER by. Then bouncing, skidding wagon wheels.
Up on the empty buckboard is a pair of murderous ex-Rebs.
As the Rebs pass a pint of whisky, lash the six-horse
team on, PAN WITH the wagon to see it's headed for...

2 EXT. WATER TOWER - NIGHT 2

SALOON GIRL (O.S.)
The legendary Captain James West
and I finally got him all to
myself.

3 INT. WATER TOWER - NIGHT 3

WEST is bathing with the beatiful SALOON GIRL.

WEST
That's right, sugar, and you
should feel free to treat him
just bad.

She moves in and kisses him, long and hard. West hears
the CLATTER of the APPROACHING WAGONS. He stops the
kiss and peeks out the knothole.

4 EXT. WAREHOUSE - WEST'S POV THROUGH KNOTHOLE - NIGHT

Down below, West sees the wagon with the Rebs.
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 3.

5 INT. WATER TOWER - NIGHT 5

WEST
(to himself)
General McGrath's boys. I thought
y'all was never gonna show up.

SALOON GIRL
Mister West, you wouldn't be here
workin' tonight, now would you?

WEST
No, no. 'Course not. Not tonight.
Would you be working if you were up
here with you?

SALOON GIRL
Good.

They start kissing again. He surreptitiously peeks out
the knothole, while continuing his kiss.

6 INT. FAT-CAN CANDY'S - NIGHT 6

This two-story, Victorian building across town is a
"gentlemen's sporting house" in name only. Drunken
roughnecks and ex-Confederate soldiers goose and maul
the rouged-up tarts.

AT BAR - WOMAN

shrinks back from the moronic ribaldry. The Toulouse
Lautrec lighting only accentuates her garish hair and
makeup, identifying her as a SOILED DOVE. A whore -- not
to put too fine a point on it. She's trying not to make
eye contact with two men seated at a table across the
parlor.

SOILED DOVE'S POV - GEN. McGRATH AND HUDSON

HUDSON is a fearsome-looking Indian in a well-tailored
suit. Long black braids descend incongruously from under
a homburg hat. As for his companion...

McGRATH is a mountain of drunken pus. Six foot, sweating
like a Devonshire hog with his tattered, undersized
Confederate dress jacket buttoned all the way to the top.
His ear has been hacked off and replaced by what looks to
be a miniature leather Victrola horn. McGrath smiles at
our Soiled Dove and makes a little kissing gesture.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 4.

6 CONTINUED: 6

ANGLE ON SOILED DOVE

Eyes widened in revulsion. What evil abides in this
Godforsaken place? Now a drunkenly EYE-CROSSED REB
licks Dora's ear, then whispers something in it.
Something unspeakably vile, by Dora's expression.

DORA
I'm sorry. That won't be
possible. I have... tonsillitis.

Genres: Western, Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
Tone: Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense, Mysterious

Summary In a lush St. Tammany Parish field, Thaddeus Morton flees a relentless silver disc. Despite his pleas, the disc slices through obstacles and closes in on him. The scene concludes with General McGrath, a drunken collector of the disc.

Strengths

Innovative concept
High stakes
Suspenseful tone

Weaknesses

Limited character development
Slightly cliched dialogue

General Critique

The scene starts off with a lot of action and tension, which is great for grabbing the audience's attention.
The introduction of Thaddeus Morton being chased by a lethal disc sets up a mysterious and dangerous tone for the scene.
The use of vivid descriptions helps to create a clear visual image of the setting and characters.
The dialogue between West and the Saloon Girl adds a touch of humor and lightness to the scene, providing a nice contrast to the intense chase sequence.
The transition between different locations and characters is smooth and keeps the pacing of the scene engaging.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more details about Thaddeus Morton's background or the reason why he is being chased by the disc to create more intrigue and depth to the character.
Try to build more suspense and tension as the scene progresses, leading to a climactic moment that leaves the audience wanting more.
Ensure that the dialogue between West and the Saloon Girl serves a purpose in advancing the plot or developing the characters further.
Consider adding more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere of the scene and immerse the audience in the setting.
Think about incorporating subtle hints or foreshadowing elements that connect this scene to the larger story arc of the screenplay.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively sets up a high-stakes chase and introduces intriguing elements of danger and mystery.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a deadly disc weapon and the historical setting of 1868 in Louisiana is engaging and original.

Plot: 8

The plot establishes a thrilling chase sequence and introduces key characters and conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene features a unique and original concept of a lethal disc chasing a man, along with fresh approaches to action and danger. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are quickly introduced with clear motivations, but there is room for further development.

Character Changes: 6

Thaddeus Morton undergoes a change from running for his life to facing his fate, but more character development is needed.

Internal Goal: 8

Thaddeus Morton's internal goal is to survive and warn the President about the impending danger. This reflects his fear of the lethal disc and his desire to protect others.

External Goal: 7

Thaddeus Morton's external goal is to escape from the lethal disc and the pursuing danger. It reflects the immediate challenge he is facing.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Thaddeus Morton and the lethal disc creates a high level of tension and danger.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the lethal disc posing a significant threat to the protagonist and creating a sense of danger and urgency.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of life and death in the chase sequence create intense suspense and danger.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by introducing key elements and setting up future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected appearance of the lethal disc and the constant danger faced by the protagonist.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle between life and death, survival and danger. It challenges Morton's beliefs about his own mortality and the value of warning others.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes fear, desperation, and revulsion, but could deepen emotional engagement with characters.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys urgency and fear, but could be more nuanced in character interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense action, suspenseful atmosphere, and dramatic dialogue that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the protagonist's plight.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.

7 EXT. WAREHOUSE - WEST'S POV THROUGH KNOTHOLE - NIGHT 7

The Rebs load the boxes onto the wagon. We see the wheel
of the wagon up against the rotted leg of the water
tower.

BIG REB
Pack'er up good, Virgil. Next stop
N'Orleans.

8 INT. WATER TOWER - NIGHT 8

West is unaware that she's watching him, not watching
her.

SALOON GIRL
(admonishing)
Jim!

WEST
Ah, this hole is a safety issue.
I'm thinking, what if it starts to
rain and the water level goes up.
It could suck you right up. I'm
protecting you. (variations)

Saloon Girl frustrated, has grabbed West's boxer shorts
(with little horses on them) and plugs the hole with
them.

SALOON GIRL
Problem solved.

WEST
Belle, you don't just ram a man's
underbritches into a knothole.
You wanna plug the hole, you ram
your own britches in there.

West is at a loss. She moves in for another kiss.
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 4A.

9 EXT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT 9

The HORSES SPOOK as a crate is dropped onto the wagon.

CLOSE - AXLE

caught on the WATER TOWER LEG. It CREAKS.

10 INT. WATER TOWER - NIGHT 10

West hears the CREAK. He breaks the kiss.

SALOON GIRL
Oh, Jim.

WEST
(serious)
Much as I'd like to take credit
for that you might need to hand
me my gun...

The tower starts to topple.

WEST
... Hand me my gun.

It CRASHES...

CUT TO:

11 EXT. WAREHOUSE SKYLIGHT - NIGHT 11

West crashes down into the tarp covering the boxes. The
only people more shocked than he is are the guards and
the Rebs he just dropped in on. West picks himself up,
smiles coolly at the drenched slack-jaws.

WEST
Okay, who just made a wish?
Was it you?

He looks up at the freaked-out Saloon Girl, still in the
tank. She hangs on with one hand, the other hand
clutches his clothes.

WEST
I could sure use those clothes
now.

She responds by Frisbee-ing his hat down. West picks it
up, with a look... uses it to cover his genitals.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 4B.

11 CONTINUED: 11

BIG REB
Well, we got us a shy nig...

But he never gets that word out. Bang! West lashes a
lightning martial arts kick to the Reb's jaw.

WEST
Fought five long years with the
Union Army not to hear that word
again. And you boys lost,
remember?

As the other Reb comes at him, he spins, still holding
the hat in front of him... and whap! Down that one goes.
West looks up at the none-too-bright water tank woman.

WEST
How 'bout some pants!?

As she throws the rest of his clothes down in a heap...
5.

Genres: Action, Comedy, Western
Tone: Humorous, Sarcastic, Action-packed

Summary West observes Rebel activity from a water tower, but his safety concerns about a knothole are dismissed. When an accident causes the tower to collapse, West and his companion find themselves in danger, leading West to fight off attackers while seeking clothing.

Strengths

Humorous dialogue
Creative action sequence
Character dynamics

Weaknesses

Lack of significant character development
Slightly predictable outcome

General Critique

The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, with a mix of comedic elements and serious moments that don't quite mesh well together.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, especially the exchange between West and the Saloon Girl. It lacks depth and authenticity.
The transition from the water tower collapsing to West fighting off the Rebs feels abrupt and disjointed, leaving the audience confused.
The action sequences are not well choreographed or described, making it difficult for the reader to visualize the scene and follow the flow of events.
The character motivations and reactions seem inconsistent and unrealistic, particularly with West's sudden outburst of violence towards the Rebs.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify the purpose of the scene and ensure that each moment serves to advance the plot or develop the characters.
Refine the dialogue to make it more natural and reflective of the characters' personalities and motivations.
Smooth out the transitions between different actions and events to create a more cohesive and engaging scene.
Provide more detailed descriptions of the action sequences to enhance the visual impact and create a sense of tension and excitement.
Ensure that the characters' actions and reactions are consistent with their established traits and motivations to maintain believability.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines action, humor, and character dynamics to create an engaging and entertaining sequence.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a tower collapse during a bath scene leading to a fight is innovative and adds a comedic twist to the action genre.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as Captain West's bath is interrupted by the tower collapse, leading to a confrontation with the Rebs and showcasing his martial arts skills.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh elements such as the use of boxer shorts to plug a hole and the unexpected martial arts kick, adding originality to the familiar Wild West genre. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Captain West and the Saloon Girl, display humor, wit, and bravery in the face of danger, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 5

While there is not significant character development in this scene, Captain West's quick thinking and bravery are highlighted.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal in this scene is to protect the Saloon Girl and assert his authority in a dangerous situation. This reflects his deeper need for control and protection.

External Goal: 7

West's external goal is to prevent the water tower from toppling and causing harm. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict as Captain West faces off against the Rebs after the tower collapse.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with West facing physical and verbal challenges that add tension and uncertainty to the outcome.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderate as Captain West faces off against the Rebs in a comedic fight.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict and showcasing Captain West's skills and personality.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions of the characters and the sudden twists in the plot.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the power struggle between West and the Rebs, as well as the societal norms of the time period regarding race and authority. This challenges West's beliefs in equality and justice.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene elicits light-hearted emotions and amusement from the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The witty and sarcastic dialogue enhances the humor and character interactions, making the scene more engaging.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of action, humor, and tension, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of action and dialogue that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a Wild West genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.

12 INT. FAT-CAN'S - NIGHT (SAME TIME) 12

General McGrath checks a pocket watch, looks up
impatiently at the Indian, Hudson. His eyes drift
upwards... to the balcony where...

ANGLE ON UPSTAIRS BALCONY - TWO MORE EX-REBS

have come up back stairs lugging a heavy steamer trunk.

McGRATH
I'm still waiting on my guns and
ammo, but I see my men have
brought your merchandise.

McGrath subtly gestures with his eyes to the balcony for
Hudson to confirm. Hudson nods.

McGRATH
I had expected to be delivering it
personally to Mr...

Hudson quickly cuts him off before he can say the name.
The Indian speaks in a very precise King's English.

HUDSON
My employer, here in a brothel?
(a small ironic
smile)
That would be quite... redundant.

13 EXT. STREET - ON CARRIAGE - NIGHT 13

MOVE IN ON an elegant brougham driven by a very large,
very striking woman in livery.

As the carriage passes under the gas lamp, we can make
out the top-hatted silhouette of McGrath's "employer,"
DR. ARLISS LOVELESS. Clustered around him inside the cab
are three more beautiful women. As he strokes the cheek
of the ORIENTAL one with the back of his hand like a
cat...

14 INT. FAT-CAN'S - McGRATH AND HUDSON - NIGHT 14

HUDSON
You'll meet him when the time --
and place -- are appropriate.
Now...
(stands)
... shall we go upstairs to check
the 'merchandise'?

(CONTINUED)
6.

14 CONTINUED: 14

McGRATH
Frankly, Mr. Hudson, I wasn't
planning to walk those oaken
stairs with you. Direct me to the
poot, sir. Something young and
creamy. A gamer that takes to the
crop and spur.

McGrath looks to the singer (Rita), who beats a hasty
retreat from him after her song. So, once again, McGrath
lays his rheumy eyes on...

ANGLE ON SOILED DOVE

She's oblivious, more intrigued by the ex-Rebs on the
balcony with the trunk. As she starts for the stairs...
a man's hand grabs her. It's the Eye-Crossed Reb again.

EYE-CROSSED REB
You drive a hard bargain, lady.
All right, fifty cents to take
them big juicy lips and...

DORA
Still not interested.

She tries to pull away. But the Reb won't let go.

EYE-CROSSED REB
But you gotta be interested.
You're a whore.

Suddenly the coquettishness in the eyes becomes rage.
The falsetto becomes a baritone growl.

DORA
(baritone)
That doesn't mean a girl can't
have high standards.

Just as the Reb registers the odd new voice... wham! Her
corsage springs out and whacks him right in the jaw. The
Reb's eyes roll back... and he slumps to the ground.

Whooa, hoss... the Soiled Dove is a man! He's ARTEMUS
GORDON and his true profession will be revealed to us
shortly. But now, as he/she stashes the unconscious Reb
behind the bar, straightens bosom and wig...

Genres: Western, Action, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Suspenseful, Sarcastic

Summary In the shady depths of Fat-Can's brothel, General McGrath and Hudson negotiate the delivery of mysterious merchandise while expressing curiosity about Hudson's enigmatic employer, Dr. Loveless. Amidst the clandestine dealings, the identity of the Soiled Dove is unveiled as the formidable Artemus Gordon, who swiftly defends themself against the advances of a disrespectful patron.

Strengths

Engaging characters
Witty dialogue
Surprising twist

Weaknesses

Lack of deep emotional impact
Some cliched elements

General Critique

The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, with General McGrath and Hudson discussing the delivery of merchandise at Fat-Can's brothel without much context or development.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, especially with the use of outdated and offensive language like 'poot' and 'creamy'.
The introduction of Dr. Arliss Loveless in the carriage feels disjointed and doesn't add much to the scene or the overall story.
The interaction between McGrath and Hudson lacks depth and fails to engage the audience in any meaningful way.
The reveal of Artemus Gordon as the Soiled Dove feels abrupt and could have been better integrated into the narrative.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Provide more context and background information to make the conversation between McGrath and Hudson more engaging and relevant to the plot.
Revise the dialogue to make it more realistic and avoid using offensive language that may alienate readers.
Integrate the introduction of Dr. Arliss Loveless in a more seamless and meaningful way to the scene.
Develop the interaction between McGrath and Hudson to add tension and intrigue to the scene.
Consider a smoother and more organic reveal of Artemus Gordon as the Soiled Dove to enhance the storytelling.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively blends action, humor, and character development, keeping the audience engaged and entertained.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a Soiled Dove with a secret identity adds depth and intrigue to the scene, setting up future plot developments.

Plot: 7

The plot advances with the introduction of Dr. Loveless and the mysterious merchandise, adding layers to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters and situations, such as Artemus Gordon's dual identity and the unexpected twist of the Soiled Dove being revealed as a man. The dialogue is sharp and distinctive, adding authenticity to the characters' interactions.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially the Soiled Dove, are well-developed and intriguing, with unexpected twists that keep the audience guessing.

Character Changes: 6

The revelation of the Soiled Dove's true identity marks a significant character change, setting up future development.

Internal Goal: 8

Artemus Gordon's internal goal is to maintain his disguise as a Soiled Dove and protect his true identity while navigating the dangerous situation in the brothel.

External Goal: 7

General McGrath's external goal is to secure the merchandise from Hudson and ensure the transaction goes smoothly.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict between the Soiled Dove and the Eye-Crossed Reb adds tension and sets up future confrontations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing obstacles and challenges that add depth to the narrative and create tension.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are raised with the introduction of Dr. Loveless and the mysterious merchandise, hinting at larger conflicts to come.

Story Forward: 8

The scene introduces new characters and plot elements, moving the story forward and building anticipation for future events.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected reveal of Artemus Gordon's true identity and the twist in the Soiled Dove's interaction with the Eye-Crossed Reb.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around identity, deception, and societal expectations. Artemus Gordon challenges traditional gender roles and expectations, while General McGrath and Hudson navigate a world of power dynamics and hidden agendas.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, from humor to suspense, but lacks a deep emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 8

The witty and sarcastic dialogue adds humor and depth to the scene, revealing character traits and driving the plot forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of tension, humor, and unexpected twists. The characters are compelling and the dialogue is sharp and witty.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension, humor, and character development that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the story.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character arcs and plot progression. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.

15 INT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT 15

West is trying to get dressed.

(CONTINUED)
7.

15 CONTINUED: 15

As he pulls on one leg of his pants, a guard lunges at
him with a knife. West hops up on one leg, smacks the
guy with a mule kick.

Now he puts his arm through his shirt sleeve. When the
hand emerges out of the cuff, it's balled in a fist --
which coldcocks the other guard.

WEST
Could I have a little privacy
here?

As if in response, the water tower, still hovering above,
now crashes to the floor -- obliterating his opponents.

WEST
Thank you.

He calmly looks up in time to catch the falling, naked,
screaming Saloon Girl in his arms.

WEST
You'll have to excuse me,
darlin'... but my evidence is
getting away.

West gallantly puts her down, jumps up, grabs the
overhead block and tackle system and slides through the
warehouse. As the HORSE TEAM, which has spooked,
THUNDERS past...

CLOSEUP - WEST

sails onto the runaway wagon. As he pulls himself into
the back, he gives the shivering Saloon Girl a tip of his
hat -- now on his head.

WEST
Sorry about there not being any
towels.

16 INT. FAT-CAN'S - NIGHT (SAME TIME) 16

General McGrath leers down a line-up of Fat-Can's girls.
Just as he gets to the beautiful singer, who looks sick
at the thought, suddenly Gordon intrudes. He/she blocks
out the singer, poses coquettishly -- sucking a
lollypop.

McGRATH
What's your name, missy?

(CONTINUED)
8.

16 CONTINUED: 16

GORDON/DORA
(demurely; back to
his falsetto)
Dora. Would you like to go
upstairs?

McGRATH
Oh, indeedy I would.

Gordon/Dora starts to go as the Eye-Crossed Reb wakes up.
He grabs him/her, very pissed.

EYE-CROSSED REB
Hey, c'mere! Who the hell are you
anyway?!

McGRATH
She's... mine!

Blam! McGrath emphasizes his claim by gut-shooting the
Reb. The shot makes Dora/Gordon jump and the room go
quiet. As the Reb crumples, McGrath turns back to
Gordon/Dora, oddly inspired.

McGRATH
I feel like... a ditty!

GORDON/DORA
A ditty? But General...
(trying to be
coquettish again)
... my talents really lay
elsewhere.

McGRATH
Nothing stokes the fire in my
loins like a ditty.

McGrath hauls him/her over to the piano player.

McGRATH
You've got some pretty fair lungs
on ya, girl, now use 'em!

He punctuates with a slap to Gordon/Dora's rump. The
other singer (Rita) watches too.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Western
Tone: Humorous, Sarcastic, Playful, Violent

Summary Amidst a raucous nighttime backdrop, West engages in a thrilling battle with guards while preparing for a daring escape. Simultaneously, Gordon/Dora infiltrates an enemy bar disguised as a singer, deftly distracting the villainous General McGrath. However, their cover faces a perilous moment when the sharp-eyed Eye-Crossed Reb threatens to expose their true identities, leading to a violent confrontation and the cunning elimination of the threat by McGrath's own hand. With the stage set for their daring escapes, West commandeers a runaway wagon, leaving chaos in his wake, while Gordon/Dora continues their distraction at the bar, setting the stage for the unfolding drama.

Strengths

Dynamic characters
Witty dialogue
Action-packed sequences
Intriguing setting

Weaknesses

Stereotypical character roles
Violent actions

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition from West trying to get dressed to General McGrath leering at Fat-Can's girls, causing a disjointed feel.
The action sequences with West fighting off the guards while getting dressed are entertaining but may come across as too choreographed and unrealistic.
The dialogue between West and the guards, as well as his interaction with the falling water tower, feels a bit forced and could be more natural.
The introduction of Gordon/Dora at Fat-Can's is abrupt and could use a smoother setup to establish the character's presence and purpose in the scene.
The sudden shift from West's action-packed sequence to McGrath's interaction with Gordon/Dora feels jarring and could benefit from a more seamless transition.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a brief establishing shot or transition to smoothly move from West's action sequence to McGrath's scene at Fat-Can's.
To make the action sequences more realistic, consider adding some vulnerability or imperfections to West's fighting style to make it more relatable.
Work on refining the dialogue to make it sound more organic and in line with the characters' personalities.
Provide a clearer context or reason for Gordon/Dora's sudden appearance at Fat-Can's to make the character introduction more cohesive.
Focus on creating a smoother flow between the different elements of the scene to maintain the narrative coherence and engagement of the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is highly entertaining, blending action, humor, and intrigue effectively. The fast-paced nature of the events and the witty dialogue contribute to its overall appeal.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a chaotic encounter in a warehouse involving multiple characters with hidden agendas is well-executed. The scene introduces various subplots and sets the stage for future developments.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through the introduction of new characters, conflicts, and unexpected events. The scene sets up future confrontations and reveals character motivations.

Originality: 9

The scene features unique action sequences, clever dialogue, and unexpected plot developments, adding freshness and authenticity to the story.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are dynamic and engaging, each with their own quirks and motivations. West's quick thinking and bravado, McGrath's ruthlessness, and Gordon's clever disguises add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Several characters undergo minor changes in their actions and perceptions, setting the stage for future developments. West's resourcefulness and Gordon's adaptability are highlighted.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal is to maintain his composure and wit in the face of danger, showcasing his cool demeanor and quick thinking.

External Goal: 9

West's external goal is to escape the warehouse and capture the evidence that is getting away, while also protecting the Saloon Girl.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, driving the narrative forward and creating tension. The clash of personalities and goals heightens the stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with West facing physical threats, time constraints, and unexpected obstacles that challenge his goals and decisions.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are raised as characters face physical danger, deception, and power struggles. The outcome of their actions could have significant consequences for the overall narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new plot elements, escalating conflicts, and revealing character motivations. It sets the stage for future events and confrontations.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected events, twists, and character actions that keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between West's sense of honor and duty to protect others, even in dangerous situations, and the chaotic and violent world he navigates.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from amusement to suspense, keeping the audience engaged. The unexpected events and character dynamics add depth to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals character traits effectively. The banter between characters adds humor and tension to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and unexpected twists that keep the audience hooked.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension, excitement, and momentum, keeping the audience engaged.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for the genre, enhancing readability and visual impact.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a dynamic structure that enhances the pacing and tension, fitting the genre's expectations.

17 INT. FAT-CAN'S - NIGHT 17

Gordon/Dora is sweating. Reluctantly, he/she whispers
something to the piano player. He clears his throat and
begins singing.

(CONTINUED)
9.

17 CONTINUED: 17

GORDON/DORA
(weakly)
'Buy a drink for the boys
In the backroom for me...'

18 EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - WILD WAGON RIDE - NIGHT 18

West spots the contents of an open box. Eyes widen.

CLOSE - BOX - DOZEN GLASS VIALS

stuck in sand. But clinking together ominously as the
wagon races over the cobblestones.

WEST
Backwards-ass bumpkins got a wagon
full of nitro...!

West tries to steady the glass vials with his hands...
but it's no use. He quickly climbs over the boxes, onto
the buckboard seat. But the reins are dragging on the
ground beneath the frothing horses.

West leaps onto the horses as the wagon careens down the
street. He pulls himself over the first one's neck...
onto the next horse. And as he tries for the lead horse,
he falls between them!

19 INT. FAT-CAN'S - NIGHT 19

Gordon/Dora singing. He/she struggles through the song
in a very tough room.

GORDON/DORA
'And tell them I tried...
And tell them I cried...'

Just when it looks like the stone-faced rowdies might rip
him/her apart, McGrath starts tapping a mud-caked toe.
Encouraged, Gordon/Dora belts out the next verses OVER...

20 EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - WILD WAGON RIDE - NIGHT 20

West's custom boots drag in the dirt as he's about to be
trampled under the hooves of the freaked-out horses. And
if he hasn't got enough problems, the lynch pin attaching
the team to the wagon has almost worked its way out.

CLOSE - BACK OF WAGON - NITRO VIALS

(CONTINUED)
10.

20 CONTINUED: 20

CLANKING together like chimes...

CLOSE - WEST

Straining with every ounce of strength in his body, he
pulls himself up by the harness onto...

CLOSE - WILD-EYED LEAD HORSE

West grabs for the halter.

WEST
Whoa now...!

But it doesn't whoa. The wagon goes around a corner up
on two wheels! It's about to tilt over when West grabs
both the horses' ears, yanks them back -- screaming into
them.

WEST
I said, whoa!!!

This approach seems to work.

21 EXT. RISE ABOVE FAT-CAN'S - NIGHT 21

The team comes to an abrupt stop... and with it the wagon
hanging over the edge of a steep drop.

Jim carefully climbs off. He slaps the dust on his
jacket, straightens the crease in his trousers. When he
looks up, a bitter smile.

WEST
Well, well, this is workin' out to
be a perfect day. My man...

HIS POV - VICTORIAN BUILDING - ACROSS STREET

The tasteful sign under the red light reads: "FAT-CAN
CANDY'S." And framed in the window, General McGrath with
his singing soiled dove.

WEST (O.S.)
... General Bloodbath McGrath.
11.

22 INT. FAT-CAN'S - CLOSE - McGRATH 22

McGrath is clapping with the crowd of misfits who are now
singing along with Gordon/Dora. He/she's won over the room.

GORDON/CROWD
(rousing finish)
And tell them I tried just the
same...!

He/she curtsies to rousing applause. McGrath beams like
a man with the fire in his loins roaring. He grabs his
little songbird and up the stairs they go.

Out the WINDOWS, we see West tracking them. Simul-
taneously going up outside steps.

23 INT. FAT-CAN'S - UPSTAIRS - GORDON/DORA 23

leads the sweating, leering General down the hall.
He/she quickly opens and closes boudoir doors --
ostensibly to find a free room for their assignation.
The real agenda is to find the mysterious trunk.

ANGLE ON DOORWAY #1

Quick peek. He/she registers a mild reaction of shock.
Closes that door and moves on to...

ANGLE ON DOORWAY #2

Quick peek. The two rebs sitting on the trunk. At their
feet is a wriggling burlap sack. The "merchandise" is alive.

Gordon/Dora giggles like a schoolgirl.

GORDON/DORA
Well, that's a new one.

McGrath slams the door, drags Gordon/Dora roughly...

24 INT. BOUDOIR - CONTINUOUS ACTION 24

Our soiled dove has her back to the door as if steeling
herself for the task at hand. McGrath beckons her over
to the bed.

McGRATH
Don't let the ear scare you. I
lost it at Chickamauga.

Gordon/Dora squints at the jerry-rigged ear.

(CONTINUED)
12.

24 CONTINUED: 24

GORDON/DORA
Oh really. One can hardly
notice...
(fiddles with her
belt buckle)
Would you mind...? I... I...
can't seem to release the clasp of
my belt.

Say no more. McGrath is on her like a flash, fidgeting
with it. But it pops open, revealing a spiraling screen
courtesy of Dr. Mesmer. His eyes lock onto it.

McGRATH
Wha... what's this?

GORDON/DORA
It's a deep, deep pool. Maybe
your old swimmin' hole. Getting
sleepy, General?

McGRATH
(ga-ga)
Yes, I'm sleepy.

McGrath sits on the floor. Gordon smiles... this is
gonna be easy.

GORDON
(normal voice)
Good. You're going to be my
little doggy. And when I say
'speak,' you tell me everything I
want to know. Understood?

McGRATH
(barks)
Woof!

GORDON
All right, little doggy. Sit up.
(as he does)
Now tell me who's in the sack next
door. Is it the scientist, Dr.
Escobar? Speak!

McGRATH
Woof! Woof!

GORDON
Speak words, dumb doggy! Tell me
the name of the man you kidnapped
him for...

(CONTINUED)
13.

24 CONTINUED: (2) 24

But McGrath doesn't answer. Gordon's Mesmer spiral slows
to a stop. McGrath is coming out of the trance. McGrath
starts to growl, rip at his/her petticoats.

GORDON
Watch the swirling spiral! Lie
down, bad dog!

As Gordon notices that his contraption's failed...

25 OMITTED 25

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Suspenseful, Exciting

Summary As Dora wins over a tough crowd and General McGrath, West races to stop a nitro-filled wagon. Dora and McGrath search for a mysterious trunk and find something horrifying inside. Dora attempts to hypnotize McGrath, but McGrath breaks out and attacks, leaving Dora in danger.

Strengths

Exciting action sequences
Engaging dialogue
Clever plot twists

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Lack of deep character development

General Critique

The scene transitions between Gordon/Dora singing at Fat-Can's and West's wild wagon ride are a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
The tension and danger of West trying to steady the glass vials of nitro in the wagon could be heightened with more descriptive language and imagery.
The action sequence of West trying to control the runaway wagon is exciting, but the description could be more vivid to really immerse the reader in the scene.
The parallel storytelling of Gordon/Dora singing and McGrath being hypnotized is interesting, but the connection between the two events could be clearer.
The use of Mesmer's spiral as a hypnotic tool is creative, but the execution of the hypnosis scene could be more intense and suspenseful.
The scene ends on a cliffhanger with McGrath coming out of the trance, creating anticipation for the next development.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider refining the transitions between different storylines to create a more seamless flow.
Enhance the description of the action sequences to make them more engaging and immersive for the reader.
Clarify the connection between the different events happening simultaneously to ensure the audience can follow the narrative easily.
Build up the tension and suspense during the hypnosis scene to make it more impactful and dramatic.
Continue the momentum of the cliffhanger ending by resolving the conflict in a satisfying and exciting way in the next scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is well-written, engaging, and successfully blends different genres and tones. It keeps the audience entertained and invested in the characters' actions.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a wild wagon ride, a daring disguise, and a clever manipulation using a mesmerizing device is innovative and adds excitement to the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot is fast-paced, filled with action and suspense, and moves the story forward significantly. It introduces new challenges and obstacles for the characters to overcome.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as hypnotism and deception in a Wild West setting, adding freshness to familiar genre tropes. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are engaging and show resourcefulness and wit in the face of danger. Their interactions add humor and tension to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character arcs in this scene, the characters show resourcefulness and adaptability in the face of danger.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to deceive and manipulate General McGrath in order to extract information from him. This reflects their cunning and resourcefulness in navigating dangerous situations.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to uncover the contents of a mysterious trunk and navigate a dangerous situation involving nitro vials and a runaway wagon. This reflects their ability to handle physical challenges and think on their feet.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both physical and verbal, which keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing physical and psychological challenges that test their abilities and resourcefulness. The audience is kept on edge and unsure of the outcome.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters facing physical danger, deception, and the risk of discovery. The outcome of their actions could have serious consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new challenges, escalating the conflict, and setting up future events.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the protagonist's actions and the escalating danger of the situation. The audience is kept on edge and unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between deception and truth. The protagonist uses manipulation and hypnotism to extract information, while McGrath struggles to resist and maintain his own agency.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene focuses more on action, comedy, and suspense than on emotional depth. However, there are moments of tension and humor that engage the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals the characters' personalities effectively. It adds to the humor and tension of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes. The audience is drawn into the suspenseful situation and invested in the characters' outcomes.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspense. It keeps the audience engaged and maintains a sense of urgency and tension.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, action descriptions, and character dialogue. It is easy to follow and visually engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined action beats and character interactions. It maintains a good pace and builds tension effectively.

26 INT. FAT-CAN'S - BOUDOIR - GORDON/DORA 26

is busy trying to get the spiral going again, doesn't see
McGrath reach for his boot knife. Just as the deranged
general's about to plunge it into Gordon/Dora...

... the WINDOW EXPLODES. Jim West comes tumbling into
the room, kicks the knife out of McGrath's hand in one
smooth move. West rolls to his feet, fixes a gallant
smile on Gordon/Dora.

WEST
Didn't mean to startle you, ma'am.
Looked like you could use some
help.

It takes Gordon a moment to recover. He stares at this
black Samaritan, obviously having no clue who he is.

GORDON
(clears throat to
recover falsetto)
Looks can be deceivin'... dark
stranger. I am perfectly fine.

West quickly pats McGrath down, removes a revolver and
his bag of gold coins.

WEST
I can see that, darlin'. Woman of
your caliber probably gets top
dollar, too. So here you go.
(flips her McGrath's
coin bag)
You can run along. I'll take care
of McGrath.

As West sticks the barrel of his gun in McGrath's
gramophone ear, Gordon's eyes pop.

(CONTINUED)
14.

26 CONTINUED: 26

GORDON/DORA
No! I need him!

WEST
C'mon, lady. You got the money.
Have a little dignity.

Gordon jerks West's gun hand away from McGrath's head
just as the dog-soldier comes around. McGrath suddenly
lunges at him.

McGRATH
(bellows ferociously)
West...!!!

He drives his full weight into Jim's back, pushing him out
into...

27 INT. FAT-CAN'S - UPSTAIRS HALL 27

McGrath's rebel yell brings help from all directions.
DOORS BANG open all along the hallway. Not just
McGrath's men, but Hudson and his crew. A melee will
ensue.

West pushes the monster off of him, rolls as a BULLET
SPLINTERS the WOOD where he just was. The SHOT STARTS...

ANGLE - STAMPEDE OF SEMI-CLAD WHORES

all screaming hysterically and heading for the exits.
The beautiful young singer, who'd been coming up the
stairs alone, is now swept back down them.

Gordon, still in character, pushes his way upstream to the
room where the scientist is held.

28 INT. FAT-CAN'S - ADJACENT ROOM - NIGHT 28

Hudson, his back turned, barking orders at his henchmen.

HUDSON
Get Escobar out of here!

The henchmen heft the wriggling sack, when:

GORDON (O.S.)
Leave him right there.

(CONTINUED)
15.

28 CONTINUED: 28

Hudson whirls to see the gruff-talking Gordon/Dora holding
the perfume bottle on him like it's a Colt 45. Now Gordon
shakes one of the heavy bracelets off his wrist, CLICKS a
LOCK, snapping it open. He's accessorized with custom
handcuffs.

GORDON
Let's go, Hudson... hands!

Hudson gives a sick little smile, reaches for his gun
when... WSSSSHT!

Gordon sprays him in the eyes with the second bulb of the
atomizer. (The first Mace!) Hudson howls in pain, drops
the gun, rubs his eyes madly with both hands.

GORDON
Thank... you.

Gordon starts to snap the cuffs on the perfectly
presented wrists when...

29 FAT-CAN'S - UPSTAIRS HALL - WEST - NIGHT 29

brawling a dozen attackers. West spots McGrath trying to
escape down the stairs. He uncorks a lethal kick, sending
a thug flying through the doorway and into the back of
Gordon.

Gordon staggers, drops the perfume/mace BOTTLE which
SHATTERS. Hudson recovers his vision enough to send a
fist into Gordon's mascaraed face, pile-driving him back
into the hall. While Hudson and his men make their
escape down the back stairs with the scientist sack...

CLOSE - WEST AND GORDON

West is blocked from chasing McGrath, Gordon from going
after Hudson. West tries to push her aside.

WEST
U.S. Army... Now get outta my
way, lady!

GORDON
(the baritone
growl)
I'm no lady! I'm a U.S. Marshal!
You get out of my way!

Gordon whip off his wig, reaches inside it for something.
West blinks at the weirdness, reflexively draws his Colt.
As Gordon withdraws not a gun, but a badge, from his
wig...
16.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Suspenseful, Action-packed

Summary Jim West enters a boudoir and disarms General McGrath, who was attacking Gordon/Dora. West offers Gordon/Dora a bag of coins and tells her to leave. Gordon/Dora tries to stop West from killing McGrath, but West pushes her away. McGrath attacks West, and they fall into the hallway. A shootout ensues, and Gordon/Dora handcuffs Hudson after spraying him with Mace. Gordon/Dora reveals that he is a U.S. Marshal, and West is surprised.

Strengths

Dynamic action sequences
Sharp dialogue
Engaging plot twists

Weaknesses

Slightly chaotic pacing
Some characters lack depth

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from West entering the room to a chaotic brawl without much context or buildup.
The dialogue between West and Gordon/Dora feels a bit forced and lacks depth in character interaction.
The action sequences are described in a rushed manner, making it hard to visualize the flow of the fight.
The introduction of Hudson and his crew feels sudden and could benefit from more foreshadowing or setup.
The resolution of the conflict with Hudson using Mace spray feels too convenient and lacks tension.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more context to the scene to establish the stakes and motivations of the characters involved.
Work on developing the dialogue to make it more engaging and reflective of the characters' personalities.
Slow down the pacing of the action sequences to allow for better visualization and immersion in the scene.
Introduce Hudson and his crew earlier in the script to build anticipation and create a smoother transition into their confrontation with Gordon/Dora and West.
Find a more organic and believable way to resolve the conflict with Hudson, avoiding overly convenient solutions like the Mace spray.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a perfect blend of action, humor, and suspense that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a chaotic showdown in a brothel, involving a mix of characters with hidden identities and agendas, is executed brilliantly.

Plot: 9

The plot is fast-paced, filled with twists and turns, and drives the story forward while keeping the audience entertained.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality with its mix of action, humor, and unexpected character choices. The dialogue feels authentic and the plot twists keep the audience engaged.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, each with their own unique traits and motivations, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Several characters undergo minor changes in their actions and decisions during the scene, showing growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

Gordon/Dora's internal goal is to maintain their cover and protect the scientist held in the adjacent room. This reflects their deeper need for justice and protection of innocent lives.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to stop McGrath and Hudson from escaping with the scientist. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the chaotic situation at Fat-Can's.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is intense, with multiple characters facing off against each other in a high-stakes situation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with multiple obstacles and challenges for the protagonist to overcome. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high, with characters risking their lives and reputations in a dangerous and unpredictable situation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward, introducing new plot points and escalating the conflict.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected character choices, plot twists, and dynamic action sequences. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between justice and chaos. Gordon/Dora represents justice and order, while McGrath and Hudson represent chaos and lawlessness. This challenges Gordon/Dora's beliefs in upholding the law and protecting the innocent.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from excitement to amusement, keeping the audience emotionally engaged.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, sharp, and adds to the humor and tension of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and unexpected plot twists. The tension and humor keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a fast pace, building tension, and balancing action with character moments.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.

30 EXT. RISE ABOVE FAT CAN'S - CARRIAGE - NIGHT (SAME TIME) 30

is waiting at the top of the hill beside the nitro wagon.
Dr. Loveless is beside it, face still shadowed.

INSIDE CARRIAGE - FAIR-SKINNED BEAUTY

has opera glasses trained on the second story of Fat-
Can's. Her name is LIPPENREIDER. And now we'll see why.

LIPPENREIDER
(in a monotone)
Get out of my way... get out of my
way... U.S. Army... U.S. Marshal.

LOVELESS
Oh, dear...

The lip-reading is interrupted by the arrival of...

ANGLE - TOP OF INCLINE - HUDSON AND HIS HENCHMEN

who come racing up with the scientist-in-the-sack.

HUDSON
Federal agents inside, sir!

LOVELESS
So Miss Lippenreider informs me.
(sighs)
Still, I believe good manners
dictate we should send out...

His cane telescopes out and Loveless pokes the lynch pin
out of the harness on the nitro wagon. Then he gives the
wagon the slightest push.

LOVELESS
... the welcome wagon.

Once started, the wagon rolls downhill, toward the back
door of Fat-Can Candy's, picking up speed...

Then, as his female coterie pulls the burlap sack into
the carriage, Loveless steps in behind. And they're off.

31 INT. FAT CAN'S - UPSTAIRS HALL - NIGHT 31

West and Gordon, oblivious to the impending disaster...

WEST
So now what...?

(CONTINUED)
17.

31 CONTINUED: 31

The answer is provided as the NITRO WAGON hits
downstairs.

KABOOOOOOM!!! THEME MUSIC UP... as we roll...

32 MAIN TITLES 32

The titles are the familiar animated freeze frames from
the TV show. In the two corners are our heroes -- Upper
left shows West with his gun levelled toward... upper
right -- Gordon with his wig in one hand and his badge in
the other, pointed across toward West.

The cowboy/agent in the middle square fights and defeats
the various bad guys. Then as he exits, QUICK ZOOM ON
main title: "THE WILD WILD WEST."

PAN DOWN TO a sketch of a train caboose as TITLES END...

33 EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - DAY (1869) 33

West rides his magnificent black stallion down
Pennsylvania Avenue.

Besides horse-drawn carriages, West shares the dusty road
with people on bicycles -- the latest craze. He finally
pulls his steed up at his destination...

EXT. WHITE HOUSE - DAY

West dismounts, ties his horse to a hitching post and
winces as he puts his weight on a sore leg.

34 INT. WHITE HOUSE - DAY 34

West limps past black floor scrubbers. They stop working
to marvel at this handsome black man dressed in custom
cowboy duds walking in there like he owns the place.

But not everybody's so impressed. As West heads toward
the Oval Office, four self-important house detectives
block his way.

HOUSE DETECTIVE
Whoa there, 'pardner.'
(as West stops)
Winning the war may have got you
forty acres and a mule, but you
can't just traipse into the
President's office. Now gimme
that gun.
(CONTINUED)
18.

34 CONTINUED: 34

He nods at the six gun on West's hip. West coolly flexes
his hand above it, like he's about to draw...

WEST
This gun?

Then like lightning, with his other hand, he whips out a
sawed-off shotgun hidden by his jacket. He pokes the
12-gauge barrels up against Pinkerton's surprised crotch.

WEST
Or this one?

A voice stops the situation from escalating further.

PRESIDENT GRANT (O.S.)
Gentlemen!

The detective's head swivels around to see...

ANGLE - OVAL OFFICE DOOR - PRESIDENT GRANT

stands in the doorway.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Don't make Captain West any later
for his appointment than he
already is!

The detectives back away from the hair-trigger cowboy as
fast as they can. West reholsters the gun and
continues...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Suspenseful, Humorous, Dramatic

Summary Dr. Loveless, using Lippenreider's lip-reading, learns of West and Gordon's presence at Fat-Can Candy's. He plots their demise by sending a nitro wagon crashing into the building, causing a massive explosion.

Strengths

Engaging plot
Well-developed characters
Mix of action and humor
High stakes and tension

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be cliched or predictable

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from Dr. Loveless waiting beside the nitro wagon to West and Gordon inside Fat Can's, which can be disorienting for the audience.
The lip-reading by Lippenreider feels forced and unnatural, lacking in subtlety and realism.
The introduction of Hudson and his henchmen with the scientist-in-the-sack feels rushed and lacks proper build-up or context.
The scene lacks a smooth flow and cohesion, jumping from one location and set of characters to another without a clear connection or transition.
The dialogue between Lippenreider and Loveless is flat and lacks depth, failing to create intrigue or tension.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition between the different locations and characters to improve the coherence of the scene.
Revisit the lip-reading sequence to make it more realistic and engaging for the audience.
Provide more context and build-up for the introduction of Hudson and his henchmen to enhance the tension and stakes of the scene.
Work on improving the dialogue between Lippenreider and Loveless to make it more engaging and impactful.
Consider restructuring the scene to create a more seamless and engaging narrative flow.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, with a good mix of action, humor, and drama. It moves the story forward while introducing new characters and escalating the conflict.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using nitro as a weapon and the introduction of unique characters like Dr. Loveless and Miss Lippenreider add depth to the scene. The scene effectively blends elements of action, adventure, and Western genres.

Plot: 9

The plot is well-developed, with multiple storylines converging at Fat Can's brothel. The introduction of new characters and the use of nitro as a dangerous weapon create tension and excitement.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh elements to the familiar Western genre, such as the use of modern technology like bicycles and the protagonist's quick wit and sharpshooting skills. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Jim West and Artemus Gordon, are well-defined and show growth throughout the scene. The introduction of new characters like Miss Lippenreider and Dr. Loveless adds depth to the story.

Character Changes: 7

Characters like Jim West and Artemus Gordon undergo changes in their relationships and goals throughout the scene. Their actions and decisions shape the outcome of the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain his cool and assert his authority in a potentially dangerous situation. This reflects his need for control and respect in a chaotic world.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate a dangerous situation involving federal agents and criminals, ultimately coming out on top. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in maintaining order and justice.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both physical and emotional. Characters face off against each other, and the stakes are high as they try to outmaneuver their enemies.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing off against federal agents and criminals in a high-stakes situation.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, with characters risking their lives and reputations to achieve their goals. The threat of danger and betrayal adds tension and suspense to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new plot elements, escalating the conflict, and setting up future events. It keeps the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and decisions made by the characters, adding to the suspense and tension.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between the protagonist's sense of justice and the lawlessness of the world around him. This challenges his beliefs in right and wrong and forces him to make difficult decisions.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits a range of emotions from the audience, including excitement, tension, and amusement. The characters' struggles and triumphs resonate with viewers.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty and engaging, with humorous moments interspersed with tense exchanges. The banter between characters adds to the overall tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and unexpected twists that keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension, delivering action sequences, and balancing dialogue with visual storytelling.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, action descriptions, and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a Western genre, with a buildup of tension, a climax of action, and a resolution that sets up future events.

35 INT. WHITE HOUSE - OVAL OFFICE 35

President Grant goes over to his desk, lights a cigar.
Backlit in the haze, the portly bearded figure lives up
to the myth.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Been a lot of death threats lately
... Cabinet made me hire some damn
detectives.
(by way of apology)
Drink, cigar?

WEST
Thank you, sir.

West limps across the room to the bar, pours himself a
glass of whiskey, takes a cigar out of the humidor.

(CONTINUED)
19.

35 CONTINUED: 35

PRESIDENT GRANT
I hear you let General McGrath
get away?

Now West's blood is up.

WEST
Sir, I had him right in my hands
when some half-a-sissy wearin' a
dress ruined...

PRESIDENT GRANT
(cuts him off)
Artemus Gordon.

WEST
You... know him?

PRESIDENT GRANT
Of course I know him, he's the
best marshal I've got! He's a
genius.
(off West's
incredulous look)
Gordon has proven himself time and
again as a very cunning operator
with a rapacious intellect.
Nothing will stop him from
completing a mission for his
President... except the impulsive
actions of a headstrong cowboy!

West just looks at him soberly. Draws his gun and
places it against the President's head. Grant's eyes
widen.

WEST
Who are you?

PRESIDENT GRANT
I am the President of the United
States!

West points the GUN to the ceiling and pulls the trigger.
BLAM!!! As Grant jumps a foot and plaster rains down...

WEST
Wrong answer. Who are you?

PRESIDENT GRANT
I am the President of...
(as West cocks gun)
... I'm Artemus Gordon.

(CONTINUED)
20.

35 CONTINUED: (2) 35

West lowers his gun, nods at Gordon's class ring.

WEST
The President went to West Point
... not Harvard.

PRESIDENT GRANT (O.S.)
Will somebody tell me what the
hell this stunt is all about!?!

Genres: Western, Action, Adventure, Mystery
Tone: Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense, Humorous

Summary In the Oval Office, West confronts President Grant, exposing his true identity as Artemus Gordon, the mastermind behind the presidency. West's suspicions lead to a tense confrontation, culminating in Gordon's revelation that he is not the real president.

Strengths

Engaging plot twists
Well-developed characters
Sharp dialogue
High-stakes conflict

Weaknesses

Some elements may require prior knowledge of the characters and story to fully appreciate

General Critique

The scene starts with a strong setup in the Oval Office, establishing the tension between President Grant and West.
The dialogue between President Grant and West effectively reveals their conflicting perspectives and sets the stage for the power dynamic between them.
The reveal of Artemus Gordon posing as President Grant adds a twist to the scene and creates a moment of suspense.
The use of the gun as a dramatic device to uncover Gordon's true identity is a powerful moment but could be further developed for impact.
The scene effectively builds intrigue and sets up a new direction for the story.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more physical actions or blocking to enhance the tension in the scene.
Explore deeper emotional reactions from West upon discovering Gordon's true identity.
Add more layers to the dialogue to further highlight the complex relationship between West, Gordon, and President Grant.
Consider incorporating more visual elements to enhance the dramatic impact of the scene.
Work on tightening the pacing and increasing the stakes to keep the audience engaged.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, with a mix of suspense, drama, and humor. The revelation of President Grant as Artemus Gordon adds a surprising twist, and the confrontation between Grant and West is intense and well-executed.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the President being revealed as Artemus Gordon is a clever and unexpected twist that adds depth to the story. The scene effectively explores themes of loyalty, deception, and power.

Plot: 9

The plot is well-developed, with a high level of tension and conflict. The revelation of President Grant's true identity creates a significant turning point in the story, leading to a dramatic confrontation between Grant and West.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on historical figures and blends elements of mystery and action. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined and engaging, particularly Jim West and President Grant/Artemus Gordon. Their interactions reveal their personalities and motivations, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The revelation of President Grant as Artemus Gordon leads to a significant change in the dynamic between the characters. West's discovery challenges his beliefs and perceptions, setting the stage for further character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover the truth behind the identity of President Grant and Artemus Gordon. This reflects his need for justice and his desire to protect the President.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to confront President Grant and Artemus Gordon about their true identities. This reflects the immediate challenge of deception and betrayal.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between West and President Grant/Artemus Gordon is intense and high-stakes, driving the tension of the scene. The revelation of Grant's true identity creates a significant conflict that propels the story forward.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting loyalties and hidden agendas creating a sense of uncertainty and danger.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the revelation of President Grant's true identity and the intense confrontation with West. The outcome of this confrontation has significant implications for the characters and the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, with the revelation of President Grant's true identity and the confrontation with West leading to new developments and conflicts. The high-stakes nature of the scene propels the narrative forward.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden shift in power dynamics and the revelation of hidden identities.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between loyalty and duty. The protagonist must decide whether to uphold his loyalty to the President or fulfill his duty to uncover the truth.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from suspense and tension to surprise and humor. The revelation of President Grant's true identity and the confrontation with West add emotional depth to the story.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, effectively conveying the tension and emotion of the scene. The exchanges between West and President Grant/Artemus Gordon are especially compelling.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, intense conflict, and unexpected twists that keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a gradual build-up of tension leading to a climactic confrontation.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for a dramatic dialogue-driven scene in a historical setting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for a suspenseful confrontation, building tension and revealing character motivations.

36 INT. WHITE HOUSE - OVAL OFFICE - SIDE DOORWAY - 36
PRESIDENT GRANT - DAY

(the real one) stands in the doorway, hands on hips,
surrounded by his house detectives -- their guns drawn.
West nudges the fake Grant in the fake belly with his gun
barrel -- go ahead. Sheepishly, Gordon starts peeling
off his primitive, but effective, facial prosthetics.

GORDON
Sir, in perilous times like these,
I was simply illustrating how
someone impersonating you could
actually walk right into the very
bowels of the White House...

Just as Gordon makes his intestinal allusion, West takes
a ceremonial bayonet off Grant's desk and pokes a hole in
the inflated bladder that was his fake paunch. The AIR
HISSES out, finishes deflating with a flatulent R-R-RIP.
(Hey, the first whoopee cushion?)

Gordon scowls at him.

PRESIDENT GRANT
You're clever, Gordon. One day
it'll get you killed.

West smirks as Grant looks up at the bullet hole in the
ceiling, then fixes West with a disapproving eye.

PRESIDENT GRANT
... And you, West -- not every
situation calls for your patented
approach of shoot first, shoot
later, shoot again -- then when
they're all dead, try to ask a
question or two.
(shakes his head)
Working together will be good for
both of you.

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 21.

36 CONTINUED: 36

WEST AND GORDON
But, sir, I work...

PRESIDENT GRANT
You work the way your Commander In
Chief tells you to work.

Grant turns and EXITS FRAME.

37 INT. WHITE HOUSE - WAR ROOM - CONTINUOUS ACTION - DAY 37

The place is a buzzing intelligence operations center --
state-of-the-art for the 1860's. Maps of the U.S. and
the world are on the wall. Various staff and military
people work CLACKING TELEGRAPHS, PRINTING MACHINES that
GRIND out reports, etc.

Grant stops at a display of daguerreotype photos, all
depicting distinguished bewhiskered men.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Ten of our country's best
scientists... all kidnapped in the
last year. By General McGrath, it
now seems.
(turns to them)
The fact is, gentlemen, you've
both been working on the same
case all along. Why did it take
you so long to realize it?

WEST
Well, sir, one of us was still
trying to figure out if he was a
man or a woman.

The detectives snicker over that one. Grant's had
enough.

PRESIDENT GRANT
I don't have time for this
bickering! One week, if we're to
believe this...

Grant holds out a letter to Gordon and West. Gordon
snatches it, reads:

PRESIDENT GRANT
(reading)
'General Grant, the scientists
that you seek are in my employ --
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 21A.

37 CONTINUED: (A1) 37

PRESIDENT GRANT (CONT'D)
-- Creating a weapons system
beyond the pale of contemporary
imagination. History and justice
are on my side. I suggest you put
your affairs in order. You have
one week before you will surrender
the U.S. Government.'

(CONTINUED)
22.

37 CONTINUED: 37

PRESIDENT GRANT
This letter was delivered inside
this.

An aide presents a glass case. Inside is a cake in the
shape of the White House.

GORDON
(reaching inside)
Marzipan, isn't it?

PRESIDENT GRANT
(grabs his hand)
Wait!

Suddenly dozens of deadly-looking spiders swarm out from
inside the cake. Gordon jerks his hand back.

WEST
It's McGrath, sir. The South is
rising again. I'm gonna stop it.

GORDON
Sir, West's obsession aside,
McGrath may be a vicious killer,
but a mastermind he is not. So
whom do we seek? After consulting
with Intelligence...

WEST
(cuts him off)
McGrath's headed for New Orleans.
The longer we stand here talkin',
the farther away he gets. I don't
need 'Intelligence' to tell me
that.

GORDON
Ah, so that would mean you rely on
... Stupidity?

Grant's had enough.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Gentlemen! I'm leaving today for
Utah where the transcontinental
railroads will be joined at
Promontory Point.

Grant points to a map of the United States. The railroad
lines have been drawn in... still a gap between them.

(CONTINUED)
23.

37 CONTINUED: (2) 37

PRESIDENT GRANT
For the first time the United
States will truly be united.
(turns, holds up
letter)
Someone wants us divided. Now
look, you two are the best I've
got. Put aside your differences
and stop this madman... whoever he
is. If you fail, well... we may
never know how great this country
could've been.
(snaps off a salute)
You have a week. Dismissed!

They both return Grant's salute as the President stomps
off. His AIDE now approaches.

AIDE
The President has put a private
train at your disposal. Engine
number five, track six.
(holds out a
wrapped box)
Mr. Gordon, the item you
requested.

Gordon takes the box, hurries to catch up with West.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Western
Tone: Humorous, Suspenseful, Dramatic

Summary President Grant confronts Gordon and West, revealing the true identity of the fake Grant. He orders them to collaborate and thwart General McGrath's plot to construct a dangerous weapon system by kidnapping scientists. Despite their contrasting personalities, they must navigate clues and threats to stop McGrath's plan in New Orleans within a week.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Intriguing plot twists
Engaging character dynamics

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Some cliched elements

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition between the confrontation with the fake President Grant and the subsequent conversation with the real President Grant. This abrupt shift can be disorienting for the audience and disrupt the flow of the narrative.
The dialogue between West, Gordon, and President Grant feels forced and lacks subtlety. The banter and interactions come across as contrived and do not feel authentic to the characters or the situation.
The humor in the scene, such as the deflating fake belly and the spiders in the cake, feels out of place given the serious nature of the threat posed by General McGrath. This tonal inconsistency undermines the tension and stakes of the story.
The exposition about the kidnapped scientists and the threatening letter from McGrath feels rushed and lacks depth. The scene could benefit from more nuanced storytelling and character development to engage the audience and build suspense.
The dynamic between West and Gordon is not fully explored in this scene. Their relationship is a central aspect of the story, but it is overshadowed by the interactions with President Grant. Developing their partnership and conflict further would add depth to the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between the confrontation with the fake President Grant and the subsequent conversation with the real President Grant. This will help maintain the narrative flow and coherence.
Focus on refining the dialogue to make it more natural and reflective of the characters' personalities and motivations. Avoid forced humor and instead prioritize authenticity and depth in the interactions.
Ensure that the tone of the scene aligns with the overall narrative arc and themes of the screenplay. Balance the humor with the seriousness of the situation to maintain consistency and engage the audience effectively.
Take the time to delve deeper into the exposition about the kidnapped scientists and McGrath's threat. Develop these plot points with more detail and complexity to enhance the intrigue and suspense of the story.
Explore the relationship between West and Gordon more fully in this scene. Use their interactions with President Grant as an opportunity to deepen their partnership and highlight the conflicts and dynamics between them.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, with a good mix of action, humor, and intrigue. The dialogue is sharp, and the plot developments keep the audience on their toes.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of political deception and espionage is well-executed, with the revelation of the fake President Grant adding a layer of complexity to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot is fast-paced and full of twists and turns, with the introduction of the kidnapping of scientists and the looming threat of General McGrath adding depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases original situations and fresh approaches to character interactions, with authentic dialogue that reflects the time period and the characters' personalities.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. The banter between West and Gordon adds humor and depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Both West and Gordon show growth and development in their partnership and understanding of each other.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to prove his worth and loyalty to President Grant, as well as to showcase his intelligence and investigative skills.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to stop General McGrath and prevent the division of the United States.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both in terms of physical action and political intrigue.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and motivations that create tension and drive the plot forward.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with the threat of political upheaval and the safety of the kidnapped scientists at risk.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, revealing key information and setting up future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in the plot and the characters' conflicting motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the differing approaches of the characters - West's shoot-first mentality versus Gordon's strategic thinking. This challenges their beliefs about how to handle dangerous situations.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

While there are moments of tension and humor, the emotional impact is not the primary focus of the scene.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty and engaging, with clever wordplay and sharp exchanges between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the fast-paced dialogue, high stakes, and dynamic character interactions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and tension that keeps the audience engaged.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.

38 EXT. WHITE HOUSE - DAY 38

West and Gordon, walking toward the hitching post. West
is so beside himself he can barely untie his high-voltage
stud. He glowers at Gordon who goes over to where...

ANGLE - STRANGE-LOOKING BICYCLE

Is parked on the other side of a bush. It has the
customary big wheel in the front, little wheel in the
back. (Hidden from sight is a motor on the front tire.
Dual manifolds that sling under the rider's legs.)

West shakes his head in disgust.

WEST
Figures.

GORDON
I call it the Bi-axle Nitro-
Combust...

(CONTINUED)
24.

38 CONTINUED: 38

WEST
Save it. I've gotta train to
catch.

West swings into the saddle. He looks at the SNORTING
wild HORSE under him, then down at Gordon attaching the
box onto the seat of his Nitro-whatever.

WEST
(snaps off a smug
salute)
Yee-haaa!!

West spurs his horse and leaves Gordon in the proverbial
cloud of dust.

Although West's intentions are clear, for some reason,
Gordon's in no particular hurry. He sighs, climbs on the
bike, takes out a hankie and cleans a pair of goggles.
Then, finally ready...

GORDON
Avant!!!

VROOOM! An ENGINE KICKS IN and Gordon rockets forward.
(Yep, Artemus has invented the first motorcycle!) Fiery
exhaust blasts out of the manifolds as the bike propels
him down the street at about 60 mph right past...

ANGLE ON WEST AND HIS STALLION

who both look over in wide-eyed shock. The horse rears
as Gordon SCREAMS by -- leaving them in a cloud of
internal combustion.

39 EXT. C STREET TRAIN STATION - TRAIN ENGINE - DAY 39

From in front, as it CHUGS TOWARDS us. Sitting up in the
spanking new steam engine (No. 5) is a white-haired
Coleman. The Wanderer is his pride and joy. Coleman
pushes the throttle forward and the ENGINE ROARS PAST
us... followed by a tender, and two gleaming passenger
cars.

Then comes West THUNDERING past in a desperate effort to
catch up.

(CONTINUED)
25.

39 CONTINUED: 39

ANGLE - WITH WEST

riding like hell. Getting the last ounce of speed out of
his well-lathered steed, he finally pulls alongside the
rear passenger car. He looks up... In the window, we see
Gordon engrossed in what he's doing... which appears to
be sewing.

WEST
Stop this train!! You hear me!?!

If Gordon hears him, he pretends not to. He just
casually makes the next stitch.

West's horse has had it. They're losing ground to the
train. At the last second, West leans over at full
gallop and grabs a handle on the side of the train. He
swings out of the saddle, hanging on for dear life,
blowing in the breeze like laundry.

Finally, his boot finds a small metal plate to put its
weight on. Just as West stands safely on it... whoosh!
He flies up in the air and drops through a sliding
partition in the roof.

40 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 40

The car is like a classy Victorian men's club. Bar
stocked with crystal decanters, a pool table, decorative
pistols on the wall, books, etc. Gordon, seated in a
club chair, looks over as West falls from the ceiling
into a seat. He's hot, dusty and very pissed off. He
glowers at Gordon murderously.

GORDON
(calmly)
Thanks for dropping in.

WEST
Forget the bikes, the beards, the
fake boobies. Put down the
needlepoint and let's settle
this like men!

He takes off jacket, starts rolling up his sleeves.
Gordon remains remarkably cool, continues sewing.

GORDON
As a matter of clarification, this
isn't needlepoint. This is.

He shows him some real needlepoint.

(CONTINUED)
26.

40 CONTINUED: 40

GORDON
Right now, I'm putting the final
touches on a new invention of my
creation. I call it... The
Impermeable. It's a vest that,
when worn under the clothing, can
stop any modern bullet fired even
at close range.

West draws his gun, aims it at Gordon's stomach and cocks
the trigger.

WEST
Really?

Gordon quickly pulls the vest away from his stomach.

GORDON
But it hasn't been really
tested empirically yet.

WEST
Get up!

West takes off his guns and puts them on the table.

GORDON
(yawn, yawn)
Guns. I find them so primitive
and unnecessary... if one has done
one's proper planning.

WEST
Yeah? How do you feel about a
fist?

Gordon puts down The Impermeable, stands with a weary
sigh.

GORDON
I must tell you, Mr. West, I've
always felt that allowing a
situation to degenerate into
physical violence is a failure on
my part.

WEST
Well then, 'Mr.' Gordon, you
failed.

Whap! West unleashes a lightning punch that drives
Gordon across the train car. He dabs at his bloody lip.

(CONTINUED)
27.

40 CONTINUED: (2) 40

GORDON
I'm sorry, Mr. West, you brought
this on yourself.

Then to West's utter amazement, Gordon puts his hands
together as if praying while at the same time, crooking
his right leg stork-like. Is this some kind of martial
art? Then, he bends at the waist, and like a ballet
dancer, extends his leg out to the wall and flips a
switch.

It immediately triggers a leather hammer to swing down
from the ceiling. It whacks West on the side of the
head, and sends him spinning back onto the pool table.

ANGLE ON POOL TABLE - WEST

shakes it off and is about to attack again. Gordon
calmly pokes a hidden button. Suddenly the pool table
revolves. West is gone.

GORDON
I love this train!

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Western
Tone: Humorous, Action-packed, Sarcastic

Summary West and Gordon leave the White House, Gordon on a Nitro-Combust bicycle and West on horseback. Gordon outpaces West, leaving him in a cloud of dust. West catches up to Gordon's train and confronts him, demanding a fight. Gordon reveals he's making a bulletproof vest, deflecting West's bullet. A brawl ensues, with Gordon using the train's gadgets to subdue West and knock him unconscious.

Strengths

Inventive action sequences
Dynamic character interactions
Witty dialogue

Weaknesses

Some elements may be too over-the-top for some viewers

General Critique

The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, with West and Gordon engaging in a random confrontation without a clear resolution or progression of the plot.
The dialogue feels forced and lacks depth, with West and Gordon's interactions coming across as cliched and lacking in authenticity.
The action sequences are disjointed and lack coherence, with the transitions between West swinging onto the train, the confrontation with Gordon, and the use of gadgets feeling abrupt and disconnected.
The scene fails to effectively build tension or suspense, with the conflict between West and Gordon feeling contrived and lacking in emotional impact.
The character motivations and dynamics are unclear, with West and Gordon's motivations for their actions and their relationship with each other not being clearly defined or developed.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on developing a clear and purposeful conflict between West and Gordon that advances the plot and reveals more about their characters.
Refine the dialogue to make it more natural and engaging, with a focus on developing the unique voices and personalities of West and Gordon.
Improve the pacing and flow of the action sequences to create a more cohesive and engaging narrative.
Enhance the emotional depth of the scene by exploring the underlying motivations and emotions of West and Gordon, adding layers to their interactions.
Clarify the character dynamics and relationships to create more depth and complexity in the scene, allowing for a more engaging and compelling story.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is highly entertaining with a good mix of action, humor, and tension. The inventive gadgets and fast-paced sequences keep the audience engaged.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using unique inventions and a high-speed train chase adds a fresh and exciting element to the scene.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses as the characters confront each other and showcase their skills and inventions. The train chase adds urgency and excitement.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a mix of old and new elements in a Wild West setting, creating a fresh and engaging approach to the genre. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and original.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of West and Gordon are well-developed and their interactions add depth and humor to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Both West and Gordon show different sides of themselves during the confrontation, revealing more about their personalities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to prove his superiority and assert his dominance over his partner. This reflects his need for validation, control, and recognition.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to catch up to a train and stop it. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict between West and Gordon, both physically and verbally, adding tension and excitement to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and strategies between the two main characters. The audience is unsure of the outcome and invested in the conflict.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as West and Gordon must work together to stop McGrath's dangerous plot, adding urgency to their mission.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by setting up the partnership between West and Gordon and introducing new challenges for them to face.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and outcomes, such as Gordon's use of advanced technology and strategic planning to outsmart West. The audience is kept on their toes and eager to see what happens next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between West's reliance on traditional methods like guns and physical violence, and Gordon's preference for advanced technology and strategic planning. This challenges West's beliefs about masculinity and strength.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

While there is some emotional impact in the rivalry and tension between the characters, the focus is more on action and humor.

Dialogue: 8

The witty and sarcastic dialogue between West and Gordon enhances the dynamic between them and keeps the scene engaging.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of action, humor, and character dynamics. The unexpected twists and witty dialogue keep the audience entertained and invested in the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of action, dialogue, and character moments. It builds tension effectively and keeps the audience engaged from start to finish.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action descriptions, and character dialogue. It is easy to follow and visually engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined action beats and character interactions. It maintains a good pace and keeps the audience engaged.

41 EXT. UNDERNEATH WANDERER - DAY 41

West, eyes wide, is clinging on for dear life, staring at
the ties racing by, inches from his face.

42 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - GORDON 42

Gordon pours a fine Bordeaux, speaks loudly toward floor.

GORDON
The President asked for my
suggestions on how to make the
Wanderer both comfortable and
functional...

As he swishes the wine in his mouth...

43 EXT. UNDER WANDERER - DAY (SAME TIME) 43

West reaches up to get a handhold in the myriad of tubes
and wires on the underside of the car. As he rips one
tube out of the undercarriage...
28.

44 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 44

Gordon has just settled into the club chair, puts his wine
down on the table.

GORDON
And while you're down there,
you may want to avail yourself
of my Sub-carriage Inter-rail
Egressor...

Suddenly SHACKLES SNAP out of the arms of the chair,
pinning Gordon's wrists. Before he knows what hit him,
the floor opens and the club chair disappears.

45 EXT. UNDER WANDERER - DAY 45

Gordon appears upside down in the chair, chagrined at
his predicament. West looks from the escape trolley
Gordon was talking about back to his partner.

WEST
Only one doin' any 'egressin'
is gonna be you.

GORDON
(wide-eyed)
Perhaps the President was right
about us putting aside our petty
differences.
(recites above the
CLATTER)
'The opposite is beneficial, from
things that differ comes the
fairest attunement.' Aristotle.

Suddenly they flip OUT OF FRAME and back into the car,
shocked to find themselves facing...

46 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 46

Coleman's a scowling, grizzled old man in a coal-stained
suit. He's got a fire in his eye, brown spittle in the
corner of his mouth where a cigarette butt lives
permanently, and a large copper pot in his hand.

COLEMAN
Knock each other about all ya
please, but harm my train and
I'll douse ya like dogs.

He threatens them with the pot of steaming liquid. Now,
for the first time, Gordon really looks troubled.

(CONTINUED)
29.

46 CONTINUED: 46

GORDON
That's my veal reduction sauce!

COLEMAN
Well then, let's get on about our
business, shall we, gentlemen?
Now, where to?

WEST
New Orleans.

GORDON
Shall we let Professor Morton
decide?

WEST
Who?

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Suspenseful, Action-packed

Summary Gordon and West are given a tour of the Wanderer train. Gordon's chair falls through a hole in the floor. West goes to get help. Gordon meets Coleman, a man holding a pot of liquid. Coleman asks where they are going, Gordon defers to Professor Morton.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Innovative gadgets
Dynamic plot progression

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Some character development could be further explored

General Critique

The transition between West clinging to the underside of the Wanderer and Gordon in the parlor car is abrupt and could be smoother to maintain continuity.
The dialogue between Gordon and West in the parlor car feels a bit forced and could be more natural to enhance the interaction between the characters.
The sudden appearance of shackles pinning Gordon's wrists and the disappearance of the club chair without much explanation or buildup feels a bit random and could be better integrated into the scene.
The introduction of Coleman as a new character with a pot of steaming liquid and a threat towards West and Gordon seems a bit cliched and could benefit from a more original approach.
The reference to Aristotle's quote by Gordon feels out of place and doesn't quite fit the tone of the scene, it could be replaced with a more relevant or humorous line.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition between West clinging to the underside of the Wanderer and Gordon in the parlor car to maintain the flow of the scene.
Work on making the dialogue between Gordon and West more natural and reflective of their characters' personalities to enhance the authenticity of their interaction.
Provide more context or build-up to the sudden appearance of shackles pinning Gordon's wrists and the disappearance of the club chair to make these events feel more organic within the scene.
Explore different ways to introduce Coleman as a character and his threat towards West and Gordon to make it more unique and engaging.
Consider revising or replacing the reference to Aristotle's quote by Gordon with a line that better fits the tone and context of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, filled with humor, action, and suspense. It introduces new elements and moves the story forward effectively.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using advanced technology and gadgets in a Western setting is unique and adds an interesting layer to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot is dynamic, with unexpected developments and a sense of urgency. It keeps the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh elements such as the unique train setting, unexpected plot twists, and philosophical conflicts. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding to the originality of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are well-defined and their interactions add depth to the scene. There is room for further development to enhance their complexity.

Character Changes: 6

There is some character growth, particularly in the willingness to work together despite differences.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal in this scene is to assert his authority and protect the train from potential threats. This reflects his need for control and his desire to prove himself capable in high-pressure situations.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to reach New Orleans, as mentioned in the dialogue. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, such as navigating through unexpected obstacles and threats.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict, both physical and verbal, which drives the action and keeps the audience on edge.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing unexpected threats and challenges that add tension and conflict. The audience is left wondering how the characters will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high, with the characters facing a dangerous situation and a looming threat to the country.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward, introducing new challenges and setting up the next phase of the plot.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden plot twists, unexpected character actions, and philosophical conflicts. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between individualism and cooperation. Gordon recites a quote from Aristotle about putting aside differences for the greater good, while West asserts his independence and determination to handle the situation on his own terms.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

While there is humor and tension, the emotional impact is not the primary focus of the scene.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals the personalities of the characters. It adds humor and tension to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of action, humor, and philosophical themes. The characters' interactions and the unexpected plot twists keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action and dialogue that keeps the story moving forward. The rhythm and flow of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and character dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined action and dialogue sequences. The pacing and formatting contribute to the overall effectiveness of the scene.

47 INT. WANDERER LAB CAR - DUSK 47

A severed human head is in a vise.

GORDON
Meet Professor Thaddeus Morton,
expert in the field of metallurgy
... discovered in a field of
alfalfa. Kidnapped from M.I.T.
six months ago.

West looks from the head to the open box.

WEST
That's a man's head!

Gordon holds up a strange, circular metallic object.

GORDON
... And this magnetic collar was
around it when his body was
discovered. Haven't figured that
one out yet...

But West is still staring in disbelief at the head.

WEST
That's a man's head.

Gordon starts fiddling with a lantern positioned behind
the head.

(CONTINUED)
30.

47 CONTINUED: 47

GORDON
According to the Retinal Terminus
Theory... a dying person's last
conscious image is burned into the
back of the eyeball like a
photograph. Perhaps there's a
clue there...

Excited, Gordon turns on the lantern attached to the back
of his head. Beams of light are coming through his
eyeballs, creating a blurry color image on the wall.

GORDON
Morton's last image!

WEST
That's a man's head!

West turns his head sideways to try to view the inverted
image projected on the wall. Gordon realizes the
problem.

GORDON
Ah. The refraction of the lenses
causes the image to appear upside
down. We simply...

He turns Morton's head in the vise. It's right side up,
but still blurry.

ANGLE ON WALL - FUZZY IMAGE

appears. It's a man who has a tiny Victrola horn for an
ear. He's holding a bloody metal boomerang.

WEST
It's McGrath. I was right all
along.

Gordon sees something in McGrath's pocket.

GORDON
He seems to have something in his
pocket... too fuzzy to read,
though...

Gordon drums his fingers on his great frontal lobe,
stymied.

GORDON
Mortification of the aqueous humor
seems to have led to the loss
of...

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 31.

47 CONTINUED: (2) 47

WEST
... glasses.

West takes the bifocals out of the box, casually puts them
on Morton's nose. West now gestures to the wall.

CLOSE - IMAGE ON WALL

The white blur in the man's pocket is now focused. We
can see that it's the top of a piece of paper. He reads
the writing on it.

WEST
'Friends of the South! Come to
a Surprise Costume Ball. April
14, eight-thirty. 346 Garden
Street... '
(lowers glasses,
looks up)
Like I said.... New Orleans.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Mystery
Tone: Suspenseful, Exciting, Intriguing

Summary Scientist Gordon shows government agent West a severed human head belonging to Professor Morton, kidnapped six months ago. Gordon has discovered a strange magnetic collar around the head and uses a lantern to project Morton's last conscious image, revealing a blurry figure with a Victrola horn for an ear and a metal boomerang. West recognizes the man as McGrath, confirming his suspicions. Gordon notices a paper in McGrath's pocket, which becomes visible when bifocals are placed on Morton's nose, revealing a message about a costume ball in New Orleans.

Strengths

Intriguing concept
Suspenseful tone
Engaging plot development

Weaknesses

Lack of emotional depth in dialogue
Limited character growth

General Critique

The scene lacks clarity in terms of the purpose and significance of the severed head and the magnetic collar. The dialogue repetition of 'That's a man's head' by West feels redundant and doesn't add much to the scene.
The explanation of the Retinal Terminus Theory and the projection of Morton's last image on the wall feels forced and overly complicated, detracting from the impact of the revelation about McGrath.
The transition from Gordon's scientific explanation to West's realization about McGrath's identity feels abrupt and could be smoother to enhance the dramatic effect.
The visual of the blurry image projected on the wall could be more impactful if the significance of the man with the Victrola horn for an ear and the metal boomerang were clearer.
The scene could benefit from more emotional depth and character development to engage the audience and create a stronger connection to the story.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Streamline the dialogue to focus on the key information and revelations about McGrath's identity and the upcoming event in New Orleans.
Consider simplifying the scientific explanation and projection of Morton's last image to make it more accessible and engaging for the audience.
Enhance the visual elements of the scene to create a more visually striking and memorable moment when the blurry image becomes clear with the bifocals.
Add more emotional weight to West's realization about McGrath to heighten the tension and impact of the scene.
Work on the pacing and structure of the scene to ensure a smooth flow of information and revelations for the audience to follow easily.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, full of suspense, and introduces a significant plot development. The use of the severed head and the projection of the last image create a sense of mystery and intrigue.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using a severed head to reveal a hidden message and provide a crucial clue is innovative and adds depth to the storyline.

Plot: 8

The plot thickens with the discovery of the hidden message and the revelation of General McGrath's involvement, driving the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to crime investigation with advanced technology and quirky characters, adding authenticity to the dialogue and actions.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters react with shock and determination to the discovery, showing their commitment to solving the mystery.

Character Changes: 5

While the characters experience a shift in their understanding of the situation, there is no significant personal growth or change.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal is to solve the mystery of the severed head and collar, reflecting his desire to uncover the truth and bring justice to the victim.

External Goal: 7

West's external goal is to identify the victim and find clues that lead to the perpetrator, reflecting the immediate challenge of solving a murder case.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict arises from the discovery of the hidden message and the characters' realization of General McGrath's involvement.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene adds tension and complexity to the investigation, creating obstacles for the protagonist to overcome.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are raised with the discovery of the hidden message, indicating a dangerous plot by General McGrath that the characters must thwart.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by providing a crucial clue and setting the characters on a new path of investigation.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in the investigation and the revelation of new clues.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethics of investigating a gruesome crime and the pursuit of justice, challenging West's beliefs about morality and the value of human life.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene evokes shock and curiosity in the characters and the audience, but lacks deep emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 6

The dialogue is informative and serves to advance the investigation, but lacks emotional depth or memorable lines.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intriguing mystery, witty dialogue, and fast-paced action.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and suspense that keeps the audience engaged.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with proper scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a crime investigation genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.

48 EXT. NEW ORLEANS TRAIN SIDING - NIGHT 48

We see the Wanderer parked on the siding as we hear voices
over.

GORDON (V.O.)
How about this? You could come
as my man servant?

49 INT. WANDERER - LAB CAR - NIGHT 49

Gordon has his wardrobe open. Selected from his vast
array of costumes and disguises is a full livery outfit.

GORDON
How about this? You could come
as my man servant.

WEST
(slave voice)
Oh yes, Massa Gordon, dats what
I'll do. And I'll jus' smile
and do as I's tole so those
people won' ever know that I
would rather shoot myself in
the head than play your god
damned man servant!

West is right in Gordon's face.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 32.

49 CONTINUED: 49

GORDON
I have a horse costume.
(then, cheery)
You could be the head.

WEST
The only thing I need to wear is
this.

West straps on his holster.

GORDON
Okay, if you insist on carrying a
firearm, I have something I think
you'll find intriguing...

Gordon displays a belt with a silver buckle. He taps the
buckle... a Derringer pops out. West stares, impressed.

GORDON
And it would go nicely with this...

Gordon takes out a sequined dress, holds the Derringer up
against it.

WEST
Jim West does not wear a dress.

GORDON
Then what's your plan?

WEST
How 'bout this: I'll go as a
government agent who's gonna
kill McGrath.

GORDON
An armed, Negro cowboy costume,
how creative. In a room full of
white Southerners, you oughtta
fit right in. You might even win
first prize!

West starts to walk away. Gordon grabs him.

GORDON
Listen to me. The art of disguise
is what's going to get us into
that party, thus allowing us to
find these kidnapped scientists
before they're forced to create
something that will destroy this
great country.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 33.

49 CONTINUED: (2) 49

GORDON (CONT'D)
Now you and I are the chosen ones,
Jim. We're under direct orders
from the President himself. And
our mission is clear: Save our
country. Our freedom is at stake
and this is our duty as men. Now,
you go as a riverboat captain and
I'll be a saloon girl.

WEST
Let me tell you a little something
about beloved 'art of disguise'...
That night at Fat-Can's, I knew you
weren't a woman.

GORDON
But I was propositioned by three
men.

WEST
Gordon, you looked nasty. Your
breasts were all hard and stiff,
and were sticking straight out
like two rusty cannons on a
sunken ship.

Gordon grabs his fake breasts off the rack. He puts
them on.

GORDON
These are a work of art.
Scientifically and aesthetically
perfect.

WEST
They look like shit.

GORDON
Touch them.

WEST
I don't wanna touch 'em. I can
see I don't like 'em.

GORDON
What, are you afraid you're
wrong? Touch my breasts.

West touches Gordon's fake breasts.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 33A.

49 CONTINUED: (3) 49

ANGLE - COLEMAN

walking through the next car, carrying a tray of tea.
Gordon's last line got his attention. What the...?
Coleman peeks around the corner to see West eyeing
Gordon's "chest."

COLEMAN
(to himself)
I knew it. Well, I'll have no
part of it!

Coleman shakes his head and walks off.

ANGLE - WEST AND GORDON

West is thwapping Gordon's breasts.

WEST
There, Gordon, you happy?
I'm touching your breasts.

GORDON
Not so rough. The buckwheat'll
come out.

WEST
Buckwheat? That's your problem.

West takes one of the cow udders out of Gordon's bodice
and dumps the buckwheat onto the ground.

GORDON
What are you doing?

West goes over to a wash basin, picks up a water pitcher
and fills the cow bladder. West squeezes the cow bladder
shut and holds it up to his chest.

WEST
Now, squeeze this. This is what a
breast should feel like.

ANGLE - COLEMAN

Passing back through the next car. When he hears that
last line, he can't believe it. He peeks in again to
see...

GORDON
Whoa...

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 33B.

49 CONTINUED: (4) 49

WEST
Isn't that nice?

GORDON
Very nice.

Coleman's mouth drops. He's sweating.

WEST
Now touch yourself.

GORDON
You win. I'm hard.

COLEMAN
(disgusted)
Federal officers, bah!

Coleman walks off, shaking his head.

BACK TO SCENE

Suddenly, Gordon shoots the cuffs off his jacket. Out of
one sleeve comes a pen. Out the other, a small pad of
paper. They are both connected to a spring-loaded metal
gizmo up his sleeve. West reacts, drawing his pistol up
into Gordon's face.

GORDON
I was just going to jot down a
thought.

WEST
You know something, that's a good
place to put a gun.

GORDON
But then, where would I keep my
notepad.

WEST
You know, Artemus, I think you
underestimate the convenience of a
pocket.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Western
Tone: Humorous, Suspenseful, Action-packed

Summary Gordon and West, preparing for a mission, argue over disguises. Gordon suggests West dress as a servant, but West insists on appearing as a government agent. Amidst banter, Gordon showcases his gadgets and costumes, ultimately convincing West to adopt his preferred disguise.

Strengths

Creative use of disguises and gadgets
Witty and humorous dialogue
Engaging action sequences

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Minimal character development

General Critique

The scene lacks focus and direction, jumping from one topic to another without a clear progression.
The dialogue between Gordon and West feels forced and unnatural, with exaggerated reactions and unrealistic interactions.
The humor in the scene is over-the-top and relies heavily on physical comedy, which may not resonate with all audiences.
The scene lacks subtlety and nuance, with characters behaving in a way that feels contrived and exaggerated.
The introduction of Coleman as a side character feels random and disconnected from the main plot, adding unnecessary distractions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on developing a more cohesive and engaging conversation between Gordon and West that drives the plot forward.
Tone down the exaggerated reactions and physical comedy to create a more realistic and relatable interaction between the characters.
Consider adding depth to the characters by exploring their motivations and emotions in a more subtle and nuanced way.
Integrate Coleman's character more seamlessly into the scene to ensure that every element contributes to the overall narrative.
Work on creating a more natural flow of dialogue and action to maintain the audience's engagement and interest.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging with a good mix of humor, action, and suspense. The use of disguises and gadgets adds a unique element to the storytelling.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using disguises and gadgets to infiltrate a party and save kidnapped scientists is creative and well-executed.

Plot: 7

The plot is fast-paced and keeps the audience entertained with unexpected twists and turns.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the spy genre by infusing it with humor and unconventional character interactions. The dialogue feels authentic and original, adding depth to the characters.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their interactions add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 5

There is minimal character change in this scene, as the focus is more on action and humor.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain his sense of identity and dignity while navigating the challenges of disguise and espionage. He wants to stay true to himself while fulfilling his duty.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully infiltrate a party and find the kidnapped scientists before they are forced to create a destructive weapon. He needs to blend in and gather information without blowing his cover.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict, both physical and verbal, which keeps the scene engaging.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the protagonist's internal struggle with disguise and integrity. The conflict adds depth to the character dynamics and drives the plot forward.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as the characters are on a mission to save kidnapped scientists and prevent a dangerous weapon from being created.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new information and setting up the next plot points.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in dialogue and character interactions. The humor adds an element of surprise, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the art of disguise and the sacrifices one must make for the greater good. The protagonist struggles with maintaining his integrity while fulfilling his mission.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene focuses more on humor and action than deep emotional moments.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and drives the scene forward with character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, tension, and character dynamics. The dialogue is witty and entertaining, keeping the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of dialogue, action, and character development. The rhythm enhances the comedic timing and dramatic tension.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is formatted correctly, enhancing readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character arcs and plot progression. The pacing is effective, leading to a satisfying resolution.

50 EXT. LOVELESS MANSION (NEW ORLEANS) - CARRIAGE - NIGHT 50

carrying some costumed swells pass through wrought-iron
gates guarded by some of McGrath's ex-Rebs. FOLLOW it up
a Spanish moss-draped drive to a huge Garden District
mansion. As the carriage pulls to a stop in front...
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 33C.

51 EXT. LOVELESS MANSION - CARRIAGE - NIGHT 51

Jim West drops to the ground from where he'd hitched a
ride underneath. He rolls into the shadows of the house.
When he stands, he's face to face with a huge GUARD with
a gun.

GUARD
You got about as much chance of
havin' an invitation as him.

He smirks at a lawn jockey. West reaches into his coat.

WEST
Matter of fact, got it right here.

He withdraws his hand. While the Guard squints at his
empty palm, West grabs his head with his other hand and
smacks it into the lawn jockey's fist... clang! West
leans the cold-cocked Guard against the house, uses his
shoulder as a step, boosting him up to...
34.

52 EXT. LOVELESS MANSION - BALCONY - NIGHT 52

West grabs the ironwork underneath and acrobatically
swings himself over the rail. As he BREAKS the PANE on
the French door with his gun butt...

53 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - UPSTAIRS ROOM - NIGHT 53

West lets himself in. Then just as he's about to part
the heavy drapes... he hears women's voices approaching.

WOMAN (O.S.)
(in a Spanish
accent)
Hey... get your hands off me!

Now Miss Lippenreider, Amazonia and Munitia (bewigged and
wearing costumes) wrangle a beautiful and defiant Latina
into the room. When she turns we recognize she's the
singer from Fat-Can's. Rita is in her early 20s, wearing
a 19th-Century camisole so scanty, it makes it hard to
concentrate on what she's saying.

RITA
Put me in the dungeon with all
those smelly, dirty bearded men
... but I am not goin' in there.

AMAZONIA
You applied for the position.

RITA
Yeah, a standing up position. I'm
an entertainer, not a...

Amazonia grabs her by the throat, choking the word off.

MISS LIPPENREIDER
Do not be selfish and stupid. He
always spoils his new girl.

RITA
Yeah. Well gimme a simple diamond
bracelet instead of that...

POV - THROUGH DOOR - INTO BEDROOM

A ramp leads to a large bed. A leather and steel
prosthesis is hanging from pulleys attached to the
ceiling.

MUNITIA
It is not so bad... once the metal
warms up.

(CONTINUED)
35.

53 CONTINUED: 53

Amazonia just picks her up and drags the hapless Rita
into the room. West emerges from behind the curtains,
shakes his head. Weird. He eases out the door and
into...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Mystery
Tone: Suspenseful, Humorous, Mysterious

Summary Jim West infiltrates the Loveless Mansion, overhearing a tense conversation between Miss Lippenreider, Amazonia, and Munitia about Rita, a resistant Latina singer.

Strengths

Engaging plot
Mix of action and humor
Intriguing concept

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Minimal character development

General Critique

The scene lacks clarity in terms of the overall objective or purpose of Jim West sneaking into the Loveless Mansion. It seems like he is there to rescue Rita, but the scene doesn't clearly establish this.
The action sequences and physical comedy elements are entertaining, but they may overshadow the character development and plot progression in this scene.
The dialogue between the characters, especially Rita and the other women, could be more impactful and revealing of their personalities and motivations.
The introduction of the prosthesis hanging from pulleys in the bedroom feels out of place and disconnected from the rest of the scene.
The transition between West overhearing the women and then emerging from behind the curtains could be smoother and more seamless.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify Jim West's objective in sneaking into the Loveless Mansion to rescue Rita or achieve a specific goal.
Balance the action and physical comedy with character development and plot progression to ensure a well-rounded scene.
Enhance the dialogue to provide more depth to the characters and drive the story forward.
Consider integrating the prosthesis element more organically into the scene or establishing its relevance to the overall story.
Refine the transition between West overhearing the women and his emergence from behind the curtains to improve the flow of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging with a good balance of action, humor, and mystery. It keeps the audience intrigued and entertained.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using disguises, gadgets, and costumes to infiltrate a mansion adds depth to the scene. The presence of the severed head and the projection of images create a mysterious atmosphere.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as West infiltrates Loveless Mansion to uncover more about McGrath's plot. The scene sets up further conflict and intrigue.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters and situations, such as the defiant Latina singer and the bizarre bedroom setup, adding freshness to the familiar action genre. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters, especially West and Gordon, showcase their skills and personalities through their actions and dialogue.

Character Changes: 5

There is minimal character change in this scene, as the focus is more on action and plot development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist, Jim West, is trying to infiltrate the mansion to rescue the defiant Latina singer, Rita. His internal goal reflects his desire to protect the innocent and uphold justice.

External Goal: 7

Jim West's external goal is to rescue Rita from the mansion and potentially uncover more about the villain's plans.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict as West infiltrates the mansion and encounters resistance from the guards and the women inside.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Jim West facing physical and moral challenges that add complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as West and Gordon work to uncover McGrath's dangerous weapons system and stop his plan to take over the US government.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing more about McGrath's plot and setting up the next phase of the mission.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' actions and dialogue, adding to the suspense.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between the values of justice and exploitation evident in the scene. Rita's defiance and the treatment of women by the mansion's inhabitants challenge Jim West's beliefs.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene focuses more on action and mystery than emotional depth, but there are moments of tension and humor.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty and engaging, adding humor and depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the mix of action, humor, and suspense, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast-paced and dynamic, keeping the audience engaged and building tension effectively.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for an action screenplay, with clear scene headings and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for an action genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.

54 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT 54

West hears the PARTY DIN coming from down below. He
goes to the balcony.

WEST'S POV - OVER STAIR LANDING - DOWNSTAIRS

The scene below is hallucinogenically surreal. A Babel
of foreign languages is the first thing that strikes us.
Avant garde MUSIC is coming from two 10x10 quartet boxes
on either side of the room to create stereo.

SULTRY WOMAN (O.S.)
An authentic cowboy outfit...
complete with six-guns!

West turns to see who busted him. Coming his way is a
ravishing Chinese girl dressed up as a DRAGON LADY.

DRAGON LADY
What a terribly clever costume,
Mr...?

WEST
... West. Jim West.

DRAGON LADY
Well... West meets East. Mae Lee
East.
(holds out
delicate hand)
Are you here alone, Mr. West?

WEST
Actually I'm, uh trying to
surprise an old friend -- General
McGrath. Seen him around
anywhere?

MISS EAST (DRAGON LADY)
I don't believe that name was on
our guest list. And I would know.
I'm Dr. Loveless's personal
assistant.

The name means something to West.

(CONTINUED)
36.

54 CONTINUED: 54

WEST
Dr. Arliss Loveless...? One of
the great founders of the
Confederacy with Jefferson Davis.
Funny how most people think he's
dead.

MISS EAST
Tonight's his coming-out party.

We FOLLOW them as she takes his arm and leads him down
the stairs, into the party.

55 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - DOWNSTAIRS - PARTY - NIGHT 55

West surveys the crowd.

MISS EAST
See anybody that looks familiar?

West scans the room. Stops.

WEST
Matter of fact, I do.

WEST'S POV - WOMAN WITH BIG HAIR

She's got the mole, too. Gordon has apparently encored
his Soiled Dove get-up.

Miss East sees who he's looking at. She makes a pouty
face as there's a flourish from the STEREO QUARTET.

MISS EAST
I'm... jealous.
(blows a little
kiss at him)
Meet me later... in the foyer.

West watches as she joins...

56 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - DOWNSTAIRS - PARTY - REST OF 56
LOVELESS' WOMEN - NIGHT

Miss East leads them in a sober rendition of "The Battle
Hymn of the Republic" in front of a large doorway.

DISTAFF CORPS
(singing)
'Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the coming of the Lord...'

(CONTINUED)
37.

56 CONTINUED: 56

From behind the doors we hear the WHIR of an ELEVATOR.
It stops with a CLUNK. Suddenly...

NEW ANGLE - DOORWAY

bursts open and Abraham Lincoln in a mini-float appears.
It's decked out like Lincoln's box at Ford's theater. On
its own power, it moves past the laughing party-goers in
the foyer. Now the women throw grapes on the floor.

DISTAFF CORPS
(singing)
'He has trampled down the vintage
Where the grapes of wrath are
stored!'

WEST'S POV - ANGLE ON WHEELS OF WHEELCHAIR

are what's trampling down the vintage. West takes in the
whole man. Very curious. Then suddenly... KABOOM!

ANGLE ON ABE'S HEAD

It explodes like a pinata. Up from the hole in his neck
peeps... DR. ARLISS LOVELESS.

LOVELESS
(impishly)
Don't you just hate that song?

The Southern crowd gasps at Loveless's dramatic appearance.

LOVELESS
Why, y'all look like you've seen a
ghost! It's me, dear friends,
alive and kicking! Well, alive,
anyway...

As he giggles, the distaff corps surround him and remove
the Lincoln paraphernalia. Then step aside, revealing...

NEW ANGLE - DR. LOVELESS

is half a man. Literally. Cut off at the waist and
mounted on a wheelchair platform that is powered by an
engine, he is a man bereft of tuchus, kishkes and
everything else in that vicinity that makes life
interesting.

(CONTINUED)
38.

56 CONTINUED: (2) 56

LOVELESS
(chuckles)
We may've lost the war, but heaven
knows... we haven't lost our sense
of humor!

Dr. Loveless looks down at himself, smoothes half of his
Fritz Lang Metropolis-style suit. His face turns dark as
he surveys the crowd.

LOVELESS
Not even when we've lost a lung...
a spleen... a bladder... two
legs... thirty-five feet of small
intestine and our ability to
reproduce...
(like a preacher)
All in the name of the South...
(then quietly)
... do we lose our sense of humor.

You can hear a pin drop. Loveless turns to the foreign
dignitaries.

LOVELESS
I owe a deep debt of gratitude to
my friends across the sea for
their comfort and... succor.

He suddenly seems distracted by the comely beauties that
surround him. Then abruptly, manically...

LOVELESS
So...! Mi casa es su casa! Ma
maison est a vous! Let the party
begin!!!

Loveless signals to the quartets to resume playing. Miss
East leans down and whispers in his ear. Loveless looks
in West's direction.

Now Loveless wheels over to West. West isn't hiding.
He's cocky in the face of rolling danger.

LOVELESS
Mr. West, how nice of you to join
us tonight... and add color to
these monochromatic proceedings.

West keeps a lid on his temper. Two can play at this
game.

(CONTINUED)
39.

56 CONTINUED: (3) 56

WEST
Well, when a man comes back from
the dead, it's an occasion to
stand and be counted.

Loveless smiles slightly.

LOVELESS
Miss East informs me that you were
expecting to meet General McGrath
here. I knew him years ago... but
haven't seen him in a coon's age.

WEST
I bet a man like yourself would
find it difficult to keep in touch
with even half the people you
know.

Danger flickers in Loveless's eyes. He looks to Miss
East.

LOVELESS
Perhaps the lovely Miss East will
keep you from being a slave to
your disappointment.

WEST
Well, you know beautiful women...
they encourage you one second, cut
the legs out from under you the
next.

Loveless's face drops. He is no longer amused. Miss
East winks at West, then accompanies Loveless in the
direction of the study where...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi, Western
Tone: Surreal, Cocky, Dangerous, Humorous, Dramatic

Summary At Dr. Loveless's surreal party, West encounters Miss East and witnesses Loveless's dramatic entrance. Miss East agrees to show him around, arousing his curiosity and setting the stage for further intrigue.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Unique character interactions
Innovative concept

Weaknesses

Some elements may be too surreal for some audiences

General Critique

The scene sets up a surreal and intriguing atmosphere with the hallucinogenically surreal party at Loveless's mansion.
The dialogue between West and Miss East is witty and engaging, adding tension to the interaction.
Loveless's dramatic entrance as half a man on a wheelchair is a unique and attention-grabbing moment.
The scene effectively introduces Loveless's character and sets the tone for his eccentricity and dark humor.
The dynamic between West and Loveless is established well, showcasing their initial banter and underlying tension.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual descriptions to enhance the surreal and hallucinogenic atmosphere of the party.
Explore deeper into the conflict between West and Loveless to build more tension and intrigue.
Develop the interaction between West and Miss East further to add layers to their relationship.
Provide more insight into Loveless's character and motivations during his interaction with West.
Consider adding subtle hints or foreshadowing of future conflicts or plot developments to keep the audience engaged.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, filled with tension, humor, and unique elements that keep the audience intrigued.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a half-man villain hosting a surreal party with explosive surprises is innovative and well-executed.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as West interacts with Dr. Loveless and learns more about his plans, adding to the overall mystery and conflict.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters, blends humor with tension, and presents a fresh take on a party setting. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Dr. Loveless and West, are well-developed and their interactions add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions between West and Loveless reveal more about their personalities.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal is to find General McGrath and navigate the social dynamics of the party. This reflects his desire for connection and his ability to handle dangerous situations with confidence.

External Goal: 7

West's external goal is to gather information about Dr. Loveless and his guests. This reflects his immediate challenge of navigating a potentially dangerous situation.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict between West and Loveless, as well as the underlying tension in the party atmosphere.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Loveless posing a threat to West's goals and beliefs. The audience is left wondering how West will navigate the situation.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as West confronts Dr. Loveless and learns more about his dangerous schemes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new information about Dr. Loveless and his plans, setting up future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 9

This scene is unpredictable because of its unexpected twists, eccentric characters, and witty dialogue. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between West's confidence and Loveless's manipulative nature. This challenges West's beliefs about trust and deception.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes curiosity, humor, and tension, engaging the audience emotionally.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals the tension between West and Loveless, as well as the eccentricity of Dr. Loveless.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its unique characters, witty dialogue, and unexpected plot developments. It keeps the audience intrigued and invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of dialogue, action, and description. It keeps the story moving forward and maintains the audience's interest.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. It enhances the readability and flow of the script.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions and plot progression. It maintains the expected format for its genre.

57 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - OUTSIDE STUDY - NIGHT 57

General McGrath waits impatiently. He takes two
champagnes off a passing tray, guzzles them, then
wipes his mouth on Dolly Madison's bustle. As his
eyes sweep the room...

ANGLE - WEST

He ducks behind a mountain man carrying the French
tricolor. When Loveless and General McGrath disappear
into the study and close the door, West eases after
them. He pauses as he passes the "Soiled Dove," leans
into her big bouffant. He regards a stained-glass window
patterned with a spider over her shoulder.

(CONTINUED)
40.

57 CONTINUED: 57

WEST
Hey, honey... I see a big ole
spider up on the wall. Hope it
doesn't drop down your pretty
dress.

As the Soiled Dove jumps a little, West continues over to
the study door. Now the Soiled Dove turns, and we see
the scared/confused expression. Maybe it's because she
is not Artemus.

ANGLE - GORDON - ACROSS ROOM

He's the mountain man in the fringe jacket. And right
now he's shaking his head as he watches West resort to a
decidedly low-tech surveillance method of Loveless's
study.

GORDON
Peeking through the keyhole...?
So 18th Century.

58 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - STUDY - WEST'S POV THROUGH 58
KEYHOLE - NIGHT

McGrath paces in front of Loveless's desk.

McGRATH
Dr. Loveless, my men are ready to
go to war with no weapons to
fight. Ever since the nitro and
the guns were destroyed at Fat-
Can's, lice and demoralization
have set in!

LOVELESS
Your men will have their weapons
tonight. And my promise that they
will be part of the greatest
military victory of this century!

McGrath's face relaxes into a pyorrheic grin.

McGRATH
Oh, you're a pip, sir! I'd follow
you into the maw of Cerberus
himself!

Loveless takes pencil in hand and draws a map on the
desk.

(CONTINUED)
41.

58 CONTINUED: 58

LOVELESS
And so you shall.
(makes an X)
Have your men here at... 10
o'clock tonight.

Loveless wheels his chair toward the door with McGrath
behind him folding up the map...

59 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - OUTSIDE STUDY - WEST - NIGHT 59

ducks out of the way as Loveless and McGrath emerge from
the study. As they disappear into the throng of well-
wishers, West takes a thin lock-pick out of his hat band.
It takes him a moment or two, but the LOCK finally
CLICKS. Then West slips inside, apparently undetected --
except by an unimpressed Gordon.

60 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - STUDY - WEST - NIGHT 60

moves quickly to the desk past walls filled with oil
portraits of various Loveless relatives. The one behind
the desk is in the style of Gainsborough. A Loveless
uncle is standing on a windswept grouse moor, two English
setters by his side, a Holland and Holland double held in
the crook of his arm.

West turns his attention to the desk blotter. There's a
faint imprint where Loveless drew the map. West takes
his penknife and a pencil -- grates some graphite into
the depressions. He's just about to do a rubbing on a
piece of paper when... someone swipes it out of his hand.

ANGLE ON MISS EAST

Hands on hips, she gives him a "naughty, naughty" look.

MISS EAST
I said to meet me in the foyer.

WEST
Oh, the foy-aay. Sorry, I've
never been much good at French.

But instead of scolding him further, Miss East plants an
over-heated kiss on him. Tongues are involved. As they
break, she gives a little nod of approval.

MISS EAST
Au contraire...

(CONTINUED)
42.

60 CONTINUED: 60

She pushes him down into Dr. Loveless's chair.

MISS EAST
So let's see, Mr. West... are you
a dangerous spy of some sort? Or
just a handsome cowboy who likes
to... poke around.

WEST
Um... that second one.

She starts to undo the buttons of his trousers. But
West has a job to do. Well, maybe he can do two jobs at
once...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western, Comedy
Tone: Suspenseful, Humorous, Mysterious

Summary General McGrath impatiently waits outside the study of Loveless Mansion while West eavesdrops on a conversation between Loveless and McGrath. West attempts to uncover a map drawn by Loveless but is interrupted by Miss East. They share a flirtatious moment before the scene ends in Dr. Loveless's study.

Strengths

Engaging plot development
Effective use of suspense and humor
Intriguing character dynamics

Weaknesses

Some cliched elements in character interactions

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the high stakes and the impending military victory Loveless promises McGrath.
The dialogue between McGrath and Loveless feels a bit cliched and lacks depth, making it less engaging for the audience.
The transition from West eavesdropping to being seduced by Miss East feels abrupt and disjointed, disrupting the flow of the scene.
The interaction between West and Miss East, while flirtatious, seems forced and unrealistic, detracting from the overall tone of the scene.
The scene could benefit from more subtle and nuanced interactions between the characters to build suspense and intrigue.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more layers to the conversation between McGrath and Loveless to make it more dynamic and engaging.
Work on creating a smoother transition between West eavesdropping and his interaction with Miss East to maintain the scene's coherence.
Focus on developing the flirtation between West and Miss East in a more organic and believable way to enhance the tension and intrigue.
Introduce subtle hints or clues that foreshadow future events to keep the audience intrigued and invested in the unfolding story.
Consider adding more visual elements or actions to enhance the scene and create a more immersive experience for the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, with a good balance of suspense, humor, and intrigue. It sets up important plot points and introduces key characters effectively.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of espionage, deception, and high-stakes intrigue is well-executed in the scene, setting the stage for future developments.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly in this scene, with key information revealed and tensions heightened.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the spy genre by blending historical elements with modern technology and humor. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding to the originality of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are engaging and show depth, with hints of their motivations and personalities coming through in their actions and dialogue.

Character Changes: 6

There are subtle shifts in character dynamics and motivations, setting the stage for future development.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal in this scene is to gather information about Loveless's plans and intentions. This reflects his desire to protect his country and uncover any potential threats.

External Goal: 7

West's external goal is to gather evidence of Loveless's plans and potentially thwart any nefarious schemes. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in uncovering the truth and preventing harm.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both in terms of external threats and internal tensions between characters.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing obstacles and challenges that test their beliefs and motivations. The audience is left wondering how the characters will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with the characters involved in a dangerous game of espionage and deception that could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward, introducing key plot points and escalating the stakes.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' interactions and the unfolding of the plot. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how events will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of loyalty and trust. McGrath's blind faith in Loveless contrasts with West's skepticism and determination to uncover the truth. This challenges the characters' beliefs and values.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

While there are moments of tension and intrigue, the emotional impact is not the primary focus of the scene.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty and serves to move the plot forward while also revealing character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, suspense, and intrigue. The witty dialogue and visual details keep the audience invested in the characters' actions and motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense gradually, leading to a climactic reveal of information and character motivations.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear descriptions and dialogue that enhance the visual and narrative elements.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and engaging structure that builds tension and suspense effectively. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.

61 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - PARTY - GORDON - SAME TIME - 61
NIGHT

is being the perfect party guest, moving through the
crowd chit-chatting with this person and that (in
French, Spanish, German) when he sees something of
interest.

Munitia and Lippenreider come out of an upstairs bedroom,
lock it behind them. Hmmm. What's in there? As he
starts upstairs, Amazonia appears, blocking his way.

GORDON
Howdy there... big sturdy gal.
Yer dance card full?

Amazonia stares at him, then spiels off a couple lines
in a foreign language that makes Gordon's eyes widen.
He understands what she said and it's not flattering.
Gordon moves off in a shock.

62 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - STUDY - WEST AND EAST - NIGHT 62

are locked in a passionate embrace. West manages to
position her nearly-naked rear end over the graphite
powder. Very carefully, he stands, pushing her buttocks
onto the desk and then rolling her off. The imprint on
her left cheek is perfect. But unfortunately, it's
backwards!

CLOSE - WEST

Damn. He lets Miss East concentrate on what she's doing,
which from the SOUNDS O.S., doesn't appear to be a
demonstration of the correct way to butter corn.

(CONTINUED)
43.

62 CONTINUED: 62

West spies a mirror on the other side of the room and
raises her ass up into position so he can see the
corrected reflection.

ANGLE ON MIRROR - MAP

COMES INTO VIEW. It clearly shows the meeting place to
be Malheureux Point, northeast of New Orleans. But the
mirror reflects something else of interest...

63 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - STUDY - PAINTING - NIGHT 63

The painting behind him has come to life. The Loveless
in the painting swings a real shotgun around and is
pointing it at the back of West's head.

CLOSE - WEST

suddenly contorts his upper torso just as an EXPLOSION
rips the back of the chair where his head would have
been.

He draws and SHOOTS the would-be assassin, who falls out
of the painting, dead. West turns to see...

ANGLE ON MISS EAST

A surprised look on her face. A hole in her forehead.
He lowers her head gently to the ground, regards her
map-imprinted rear end.

WEST
Thanks for helpin' me get to the
bottom of this case.

64 EXT. LOVELESS MANSION - OUTSIDE STUDY - WEST - NIGHT 64

emerges just as a Kentucky reel starts up. He weaves his
way through the dance floor and spots the Soiled Dove
look-alike out on the floor. West reluctantly
straightens his shoulders and cuts in. This bold move
gets some looks of disapproval from the pecan pie crowd.

ANGLE ON WEST AND SOILED DOVE RINGER

dancing. Both look straight ahead, not at each other.
West so as not to attract any more attention. His partner
because she's scared shitless of this strange Negro who
keeps hounding her.
(CONTINUED)
44.

64 CONTINUED: 64

WEST
Real impressed the way you got the
dance floor staked out. Maybe one
of your missin' scientists'll cut
in.
(dip)
Thought you should know that while
you were trying to decide what
shoes to wear tonight...
(twirl)
I found that our host, Dr.
Loveless...

West looks over to where Loveless is leading a contingent
of foreigners out a side exit.

WEST
... is meeting McGrath and his
troops at Malheureux Point in an
hour.
(bends her back)
So you enjoy the party. I'm gonna
go save the Republic.

The Soiled Dove look-alike is speechless. Before he
goes, West leans in, smirks.

WEST
But I will say, good work on your
bladders tonight... they're damn
perky.

And just to dig the grave deeper, West lays hands on them
and gives them a little squeeze. This immediately
elicits a scream and a slap in the face that shocks the
bejesus out of the black cowboy. And he's not the only
one.

ANGLE ON CROWD

staring at him. We know what they're thinking, but the
Mountain Man behind West says it for everyone.

GORDON/MOUNTAIN MAN
Hang him!

And with that, Gordon opens his deerskin jacket to reveal
his own rope, which he throws to the mob. West looks
back at the character in amazement. That's Gordon?!
Before West can say or do anything, guns are at his
temple, and he's swept out of the room.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 45.

64 CONTINUED: (2) 64

Gordon calmly straightens his coonskin cap, seemingly
uninterested in West's imminent hanging. In the hubbub
of everyone rushing out for the hanging, Gordon heads up
the unguarded stairs to the locked room.

As he pulls out his high tech auto-wind lock-pick and
quickly gains entrance to the door...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Western
Tone: Suspenseful, Humorous, Mysterious, Dramatic

Summary At a party in the Loveless Mansion, Gordon witnesses suspicious activity from Munitia and Lippenreider. Meanwhile, West and East decipher a map in a study, but West encounters danger when a painting transforms into an assassin. After shooting the assailant, West discloses Loveless' scheme to a Soiled Dove look-alike, causing a confrontation. As Gordon investigates the locked room, West is apprehended by an angry mob.

Strengths

Engaging plot
Dynamic characters
Innovative gadgets and costumes
Mix of action and humor

Weaknesses

Some elements may be too complex for casual viewers to follow

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from Gordon mingling at the party to West and Miss East locked in a passionate embrace, which can be disorienting for the audience.
The use of humor in the scene, such as the backwards imprint on Miss East's buttocks and the flirtatious banter between West and Miss East, may come across as forced and detract from the tension of the moment.
The sudden appearance of a painting coming to life and posing a threat to West feels out of place and may be too fantastical for the tone of the overall screenplay.
The dialogue between West and the Soiled Dove look-alike lacks subtlety and comes across as overly blunt and crass, which may not align with the character's usual demeanor.
The scene ends on a confusing note with Gordon seemingly indifferent to West's impending hanging and instead focused on breaking into a locked room, which may leave the audience questioning his loyalty and motives.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider smoothing out the transition between Gordon's interaction at the party and West's encounter with Miss East to create a more cohesive flow in the scene.
Tone down the humor in the scene to maintain the tension and suspense, especially during moments of danger or confrontation.
Reevaluate the inclusion of fantastical elements like the painting coming to life to ensure they align with the overall tone and style of the screenplay.
Refine the dialogue between West and the Soiled Dove look-alike to add more nuance and depth to their interaction, avoiding overly explicit or crude language.
Provide more clarity on Gordon's actions at the end of the scene to ensure his character motivations are clear and consistent throughout the screenplay.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, with a good mix of action, humor, and mystery. The unexpected twists and unique characters keep the audience intrigued.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using innovative gadgets and costumes in a Western setting is fresh and adds an element of surprise to the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot is well-developed with multiple layers of intrigue, including espionage, disguises, and a looming threat. The explosion at Fat-Can's adds a sense of urgency to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements like the high tech lock-pick, the animated painting, and the unexpected twist with the Soiled Dove look-alike.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are dynamic and each has their own unique traits and motivations. Their interactions drive the plot forward and keep the audience engaged.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions between characters reveal more about their personalities and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

Gordon's internal goal is to uncover the secrets of the locked room and investigate the suspicious activities of Munitia and Lippenreider.

External Goal: 7

Gordon's external goal is to prevent Dr. Loveless from meeting McGrath and his troops at Malheureux Point.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, with multiple characters facing off against each other and the looming threat of General McGrath's plot.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Gordon facing obstacles like the mob's desire for vigilante justice and the confrontation with Amazonia.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the threat of General McGrath's dangerous weapons system and the need to stop him before he takes over the US government.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, with new revelations, plot twists, and the setting up of the next stage of the mission.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable due to unexpected twists like the animated painting and the confrontation with the Soiled Dove look-alike.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between Gordon's sense of justice and the mob's desire for vigilante justice, as seen when they want to hang West without a fair trial.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions from tension to amusement, keeping the audience emotionally invested in the story.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty and engaging, with a mix of humor and tension. It reveals the characters' personalities and moves the story forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the mix of action, suspense, and humor, keeping the audience interested in the unfolding events.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of action sequences and dialogue that keeps the momentum going.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format with clear transitions between different locations and events.

65 EXT. LOVELESS MANSION - COURTYARD - NIGHT 65

Hand-held torches illuminate. The rope is tossed over a
lamp post. PAN DOWN TO where one of the mob, dressed as
GEORGE WASHINGTON, is binding West's hands behind his
back.

GEORGE WASHINGTON
Looks like we're gonna have to
teach y'all a little lesson on how
to behave in polite society.

WEST
Don't grab a white lady's boobies
at the big redneck dance. Is that
the lesson? Well, I learned it.
Don't scratch your head with the
shrimp fork. I got that one too.
So whaddaya say we call this off?

66 INT. LOVELESS MANSION - UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - GORDON - 66
NIGHT

eases in, stops at what he sees. And it sure ain't
scientists. Beside the bed, locked in an iron disco-like
cage, is Rita, still wearing her scanty outfit. Gordon
squints at her, gives a charming smile.

GORDON
I feel as if we know each other
from someplace...?

RITA
Try again, buster...!

She takes a breath as if she's going to start screaming.
Gordon quickly holds up a hand.

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 46.

66 CONTINUED: 66

GORDON
Ma'am, please! While I realize I
look like something straight out
of James Fenimore Cooper... I mean
you no harm. My name is Artemus
Gordon. And you look like you're
in trouble.

RITA
(dryly)
Really?

To Rita's amazement, Gordon opens his jacket and
unbuttons his vest to reveal... a complete miniature tool
shop. Quickly he pulls out a thin cable and attaches it
to a tiny wheel on the spur of one of his boots.

RITA
I'm Rita. I was hired here as an
entertainer. Not that I'm
complaining, but what are you
doin' in here?

GORDON
(looking up miles
of leg)
Looking for some missing
scientists... not that I'm
complaining.

Gordon unsnaps the sole of his shoe. It becomes a pedal
that operates the wheels' rotation. Now he removes a bit
and handle from his vest and attaches the cable. Starts
to pump his foot. It's a foot-powered drill.

GORDON
I'm a special U.S. Marshal on
assignment from the President.

RITA
(almost impressed)
If you're so special, how come
you're lookin' up here when
Loveless has 'em all workin' down
in the dungeon?
(rattles bars
impatiently)
Get me out of here and I'll take
you down there.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 47.

66 CONTINUED: (2) 66

GORDON
Too late. The 'dungeon' is
cleaned out. It was the first
place I checked, right after I
sampled the gumbo. Bit heavy on
the okra.

But Rita isn't listening to the food review. Her mind's
racing. Finally, the LOCK CLICKS and the cage door
swings open. Gordon takes the distressed damsel in his
arms, lifts her out.

RITA
(suddenly a coquettish
smile)
Thank you... Artemus, was it?

GORDON
One doesn't forget a smile like
that. Now where in the world was
it...? Have you ever played the
Empire Room... the Bijou Cafe
perhaps...?

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Mystery
Tone: Humorous, Suspenseful, Intriguing

Summary A mob binds West while Gordon enters Rita's upstairs cage. Despite her hostility, Gordon learns of missing scientists and uses a foot-powered drill to free Rita. Rita agrees to lead Gordon to the dungeon, but it is revealed to be empty.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Intriguing plot
Humorous elements

Weaknesses

Some cliched elements
Slightly predictable plot twists

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from the courtyard where West is being bound to Gordon entering an upstairs bedroom, which can be disorienting for the audience.
The dialogue between Gordon and Rita feels a bit forced and lacks depth, making their interaction less engaging.
The introduction of Gordon's miniature tool shop and foot-powered drill seems out of place and overly convenient, detracting from the realism of the scene.
The exchange between Gordon and Rita lacks tension and urgency, considering Rita is locked in an iron cage, which could have been portrayed with more intensity.
The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or stakes, making it feel somewhat flat and lacking in emotional depth.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more suspense and tension to the interaction between Gordon and Rita to make the scene more engaging.
Focus on developing the characters' motivations and emotions to create a more compelling dynamic between Gordon and Rita.
Streamline the introduction of Gordon's tools and gadgets to make them feel more integrated into the scene and less like a convenient plot device.
Enhance the pacing and flow of the scene by improving the transition between the courtyard and the bedroom to maintain continuity.
Add more depth to the dialogue and interactions between Gordon and Rita to elevate the emotional impact of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines action, humor, and mystery, keeping the audience engaged and entertained.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a special U.S. Marshal investigating missing scientists in a mansion filled with intrigue and danger is intriguing and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot is engaging, with the rescue of Rita and the discovery of missing scientists adding depth to the overall story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique blend of historical setting, modern humor, and advanced technology, creating a fresh and engaging atmosphere.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters, especially Gordon and Rita, are well-developed and add humor and intrigue to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

Rita's character undergoes a change from distress to gratitude and intrigue, adding depth to her character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal is to defuse the situation and avoid further conflict with the mob. This reflects his desire to maintain peace and avoid unnecessary violence.

External Goal: 7

West's external goal is to escape from the mob and the situation he finds himself in. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict, both physical and emotional, in the scene, adding tension and excitement.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds tension and conflict, creating obstacles for the protagonist to overcome.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of rescuing Rita and uncovering the mystery of the missing scientists add tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing new information about the missing scientists and setting up further intrigue.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions and dialogue of the characters, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of justice and societal norms. The mob's vigilante justice clashes with West's more modern sense of justice and behavior.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The rescue of Rita and the interaction between Gordon and Rita evoke a sense of empathy and connection with the characters.

Dialogue: 9

The witty and charming dialogue between Gordon and Rita adds humor and depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, action, and suspense, keeping the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and character development.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character actions and dialogue.

67 EXT. LOVELESS MANSION - COURTYARD - NIGHT (SAME TIME) 67

West is lifted onto the back of a wagon. With the noose
dangling in front of his nose, West addresses the crowd.

WEST
Can I have everyone's attention
please. I think we've had a
series of major misunderstandings
and I'd like to take a moment to
clear them up. First, the whole
drumming on the boobies thing.
In my native land, Africa, my
ancestors used drums to
communicate between villages. I'm
sure y'all can see that this young
girl here can communicate all the
way down to Baton Rouge. Hell, on
a clear day, we might even get
Galveston. All I was saying was,
'How're you doing,' 'My name's Jim,'
'How's your mama?'
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 47A.

67 CONTINUED: (A1) 67

WEST (CONT'D)
Second misunderstanding. That
redneck comment. I'm getting the
sense that some of you took that
negatively. You know, some of my
best friends are whiskey-guzzling,
pot-bellied rednecks just like
y'all here.
(then)
That slavery thing, I don't see
what the big deal was. Hell, who
wouldn't want somebody to run
around for them doing chores. Are
you going to get your big, fat,
lazy ass out of bed every morning
and pick your own damn cotton.
I don't think so.
(then)
Let's head on inside and knock back
some shine. Come on, back inside.
No. Okay.
(to Soiled Dove)
I stand before you as a man who
realizes he has done something
wrong and I am prepared to do the
right thing. Will you marry me?

Soiled Dove gasps.

WEST
I'll take that as a no. Darling,
would it help at all if I said I
thought you were a man?

The CAMERA FINDS the Soiled Dove. She faints.

BACK TO SCENE

WEST
Guess not.

As West searches desperately for signs of rescue by his
"partner," suddenly the wagon lurches forward...

GEORGE WASHINGTON
Hang him!

(CONTINUED)
48.

67 CONTINUED: 67

NEW ANGLE - WEST'S FEET

As they plummet toward the ground.

CLOSE - WEST'S NECK

The rope catches... and stretches!

CLOSE - WEST'S FEET

As they slowly touch the ground.

Nobody is more confused than West.

ANGLE ON CROWD

How the fuck did that happen? But before anybody can
figure out Gordon's trick rope, speak of the devil...

GORDON (O.S.)
Hey-yaa!!!

The crowd turns with alarm to see...

ANGLE ON TEAM OF CHARGING HORSES

Nostrils flared and wild-eyed, are having their rumps
snapped by Gordon's reins. Rita holds on for dear life
as the mad Mountain Man drives the carriage at full speed
right into the crowd -- scattering them.

ANGLE ON WEST

He sees his opportunity for rescue, puts a foot into the
back of George Washington, grabs his gun, and somersaults
into the air...

ANGLE ON GORDON AND CARRIAGE - WEST

lands squarely in the back. And just as the rope starts
to stretch around his neck again, Gordon whirls around
with a Bowie knife and cuts it.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Western
Tone: Humorous, Sarcastic, Dramatic

Summary West, facing a hanging, tries to reason with the angry crowd before being saved by Gordon and Rita who charge in with horses. West escapes, thanks to Gordon cutting the rope around his neck, and lands safely on the back of a carriage.

Strengths

Engaging action sequences
Witty dialogue
Character development

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Some cliched elements

General Critique

The scene starts with West attempting to address the crowd in a humorous and light-hearted manner, but the jokes about slavery and rednecks may come across as insensitive and inappropriate. It's important to be mindful of the historical context and the sensitivities surrounding such topics.
The sudden proposal to the Soiled Dove feels out of place and lacks emotional depth or context. The comedic tone of the scene clashes with the seriousness of a marriage proposal, making it feel forced and unrealistic.
The fainting of the Soiled Dove seems like a cliched and exaggerated reaction, adding to the overall lack of authenticity in the scene.
The transition from West's confusion to Gordon's sudden appearance with the charging horses feels abrupt and disjointed. The execution of the rescue plan lacks smoothness and coherence.
The resolution of the scene with Gordon cutting the rope and rescuing West feels rushed and lacks a satisfying build-up or payoff. The tension and stakes of the situation are not effectively conveyed.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider revising the dialogue to avoid making light of sensitive topics like slavery and redneck stereotypes. Find a more appropriate and respectful way to inject humor into the scene.
Develop the proposal moment with the Soiled Dove to make it more meaningful and believable. Add depth to the characters' relationship and emotions to make the scene more engaging.
Avoid cliched reactions like the Soiled Dove fainting, and strive for more authentic and nuanced character responses.
Work on improving the flow and coherence of the scene by refining the transition between West's confusion and Gordon's rescue plan. Ensure that the sequence of events feels logical and well-paced.
Build up the tension and excitement of the rescue moment by adding more suspense and drama. Create a more impactful and satisfying resolution to the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, with a good mix of action, humor, and drama. The rescue sequence is exciting, and the dialogue adds depth to the characters.

Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of a rescue involving a trick rope and a chaotic party is unique and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot advances with the rescue of West and the revelation of Loveless's plan. The scene is pivotal in setting up the conflict between the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and unexpected elements, such as the protagonist's unconventional approach to addressing the crowd and the sudden rescue by his partner. The dialogue feels authentic and adds depth to the characters.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters show depth and development, especially in their interactions during the rescue. West's humor and Gordon's resourcefulness shine through.

Character Changes: 7

West and Gordon's relationship evolves as they work together to escape the mob and uncover Loveless's plan.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to clear up misunderstandings and make amends for his actions. This reflects his desire for redemption and acceptance.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to escape execution and be rescued by his partner. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters, the mob, and Loveless's henchmen creates tension and suspense.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds tension and conflict, with the protagonist facing a life-threatening situation and needing to overcome obstacles to survive.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as West faces a mob and Gordon risks his life to rescue him, all while trying to stop Loveless's dangerous scheme.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key information about Loveless's plan and setting up the next phase of the mission.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden rescue by the protagonist's partner and the unexpected turn of events that keep the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's beliefs and values being challenged by the crowd's perception of him. It challenges his sense of identity and morality.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene is more focused on action and humor than deep emotional moments.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty and adds to the humor and tension of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of humor, tension, and unexpected twists. The audience is kept on their toes and invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of dialogue, action, and suspense. The rhythm keeps the audience engaged and invested in the story.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character dialogue, and action sequences.

Structure: 7

The scene follows a traditional structure for a comedic Western genre, with a buildup of tension, a comedic resolution, and a cliffhanger ending.

68 EXT. NEW ORLEANS STREET NEAR MANSION - MOVING WAGON - 68
NIGHT

West leans into Gordon's ear.

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 49.

68 CONTINUED: 68

WEST
Hang 'm...!

Suddenly, there's a VOLLEY of SHOTS from some cracker
sharpshooters. West responds with an amazing display of
RAPID-FIRE marksmanship, picking off half a dozen of
Loveless's shooters, even while the carriage bumps wildly
on its getaway. BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!!!

WEST
(still pissed,
to Gordon)
Hang'm!?!

GORDON
(to Rita)
Meet my trigger-happy partner,
James West... who doesn't seem to
realize that my carefully planned
diversion gave me the opportunity
to search for the missing
scientists.

Now West notices the half-dressed bombshell in the
carriage.

WEST
Scientist, huh.

GORDON
This is Rita. I found her locked
in a cage in Loveless's bedroom.
She's an entertainer.

RITA
Um, maybe I haven't been quite
honest about that... My name is
Rita Escobar. I came to find
Guillermo Escobar, the scientist,
my... father.

Gordon's eyes pop.

GORDON
Professor Escobar?! He was the
one I almost rescued that night
when...
(lightbulb)
That's where I know you from!
Fat-Can Candy's... you sang before
I did.

RITA
Excuse me?

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 50.

68 CONTINUED: (2) 68

GORDON
That was me. Burgundy dress with
the bustle...

Gordon starts singing the song... West rolls his eyes,
cuts off the chit-chat.

WEST
Look, Rita, I'm sorry you had the
wrong agent working on your case.
When I find your father I promise
I'll send him back safely...

And with that... West suddenly leaps over Rita -- lands
on the back of one of the horses. He grabs a handful of
mane, leans over and unclips the harness. And with a
kick in the ribs, West is off at a gallop -- leaving
Gordon, one remaining horse and an awed Rita behind to
chew his dust.

RITA
He's impulsive, James.

69 EXT. OFFSHORE - LOVELESS BOAT - NIGHT 69

Dr. Loveless and his visiting foreign dignitaries are
sipping champagne. One of them is holding a little DOG
in his arms, BARKING at something in the dark. General
McGrath stands at the railing, uncharacteristically
pensive. Loveless rolls over, hands him a glass of
champagne.

LOVELESS
Well, General, it's been a long
journey from New Liberty.

McGrath visibly winces at the sound of it.

McGRATH
Sir, there isn't a day that passes
that I don't contemplate it.

LOVELESS
Yes, and so do I. So do I.
(reflexively reaches
for missing legs)
If I'd only had the scientific
understanding of gunpowder and
primers that I have today...

(CONTINUED)
51.

69 CONTINUED: 69

McGRATH
That's not what I meant.

Loveless looks at him, puzzled, then gets it.

LOVELESS
Oh, you mean the stomach-churning
carnage that earned you your
unfortunate nom de guerre...

Loveless speaks for the benefit of the others.

LOVELESS
What was that nickname again?

McGRATH
(reluctantly)
'Bloodbath' McGrath... the Butcher
of New Liberty.'

70 EXT. MALHEUREUX POINT - MARSH - NIGHT 70

A reb battalion waits in a foggy meadow that slopes down
to marsh. Beyond that is the Gulf of Mexico. We
recognize one of the REBS from the cathouse. He opens
his pocket watch.

REB #1
They oughta be here by now.

REB #2
Maybe we're in the wrong place.

REB #1
(rechecks map)
No, we're supposed to wait 'xactly
on this here spot.

Suddenly they hear a CLANKING and SCREECHING coming from
the marsh. They ready their arms and get in defensive
positions. What they can't see through the fog is...

ANGLE - MARSH - ARMORED TANK

amphibiously sludges up through the mud and reeds,
passing by the dumbstruck soldiers as it heads to the
center of the field. The contraption has a large cannon
and Gatling guns bristling from several ports. The Rebs
cheer their new weapon.
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 7/1/98 52.

71 EXT. MALHEUREUX POINT - BATTLEFIELD - NIGHT 71

Now a MORTAR appears through the turret and FIRES a
ROCKET that EXPLODES over the Reb soldiers, illuminating
the field. As soldiers shield their eyes from the
blinding light...

ANGLE - AERIAL SHOT - LOOKING DOWN ON FIELD

Unbeknownst to the Rebs, Loveless has mowed and stained
the field with concentric lines to give it a giant dart
board appearance.

Suddenly the TANK TURRET OPENS FIRE on them. Once over
their initial shock, the Rebs FIRE BACK with their
Springfield RIFLES. But the BULLETS PING off the tank's
impenetrable skin like goober peas.

72 EXT. OFFSHORE - LOVELESS BOAT - NIGHT 72

Lippenreider is viewing the carnage through large
binoculars on a stand.

General McGrath turns from the rail and faces Loveless,
outraged.

McGRATH
Why you sawed-off sadistic
bastard! You've betrayed us!

Loveless turns to him, cocks his head.

LOVELESS
My dear General, after donating
half my physical being creating a
weapon capable of doing this...
how did you and General Lee repay
my loyalty? You surrendered at
Appomattox! So, who betrayed whom?

Loveless turns to Munitia holding a steno pad.

LOVELESS
Munitia, make note. Turret speed
needs to be accelerated!

MUNITIA
(to Amazonia)
Change gear ratio from 2.2 to 2.8!

Amazonia pushes a sick dignitary away from the rail so
she can get a sight line to the tank with her lantern
semaphore. She begins flashing the new gear ratio.

(CONTINUED)
53.

72 CONTINUED: 72

AMAZONIA
A bucket for the minister, please!

Now in the b.g., we hear the GATLINGS OPEN UP.
Lippenreider is reading the lips of the tank's victims.

LIPPENREIDER
Scream. Scream. My head. I'm
dying. Scream. Moan. Scream.

McGRATH
Loveless, I demand you give the
order to stop this slaughter now!

LOVELESS
(ignores him)
... We're going to need more
loading drills! I'm hearing too
much time between screams.

As Munitia scribbles dutifully, McGrath shoves her aside.
He pulls his pistol.

McGRATH
For the last time, give them the
order to desist!

Loveless, his back to him, is seemingly unconcerned at
having a gun barrel pressed against his skull.

LOVELESS
General, I understand your
distress. But believe me, those
men are not dying senselessly. It
is for a far greater cause than
you can imagine.

As Loveless's right index finger finds a black button on
the arm of his wheelchair...

CLOSE ANGLE - LOVELESS'S WHEELCHAIR ARM

The steel tubes that comprise the armrests are actually
shotgun barrels facing fore and aft. McGrath's finger
tightens on the trigger.

WIDER

McGRATH
Go straight to hell, sir!

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 54.

72 CONTINUED: (2) 72

LOVELESS
After you... sir.

BOOOM!!! McGrath has a very startled expression as he
looks down at the aftereffects of DOUBLE-OUGHT BUCKSHOT.
As he crumples to the deck, Loveless sniffs.

LOVELESS
Bloodbath McGrath indeed.

The dignitary's DOG starts BARKING, jumps to the deck.
It sits next to the fallen General's gramophone ear and
cocks his head. With the RCA logo invented we MOVE BACK
TO...

ANGLE ON LOVELESS

He sighs at his pale guests. They don't seem to
appreciate the efficiency of his slaughter.

LOVELESS
Well, that concludes the
festivities. Ladies, feed him to
the crabs.

Munitia and Amazonia unceremoniously dump McGrath's BODY
overboard. SPLOOSH... Loveless addresses the
dignitaries...

LOVELESS
But, my friends, that tank is just
a little ol' toy compared to what
this country's greatest scientists
are cooking up for me next. So if
I've piqued your interest, bring
1000 kilograms of your country's
gold to Spider Canyon four days
from now.
(starts to roll
off boat)
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got
a tank to catch.

CUT TO:

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense, Humorous

Summary Amidst gunfire, West eliminates several sharpshooters while discovering Rita, a mistaken scientist. Gordon cautiously explores for missing scientists. Loveless exhibits his tank's destructive power upon Reb soldiers, killing General McGrath. He demands gold delivery within four days, leaving behind a trail of carnage and conflict.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
High level of tension and suspense
Introduction of new plot elements
Emotional depth and character development

Weaknesses

Some elements may be confusing without prior knowledge of the story
Complexity of the plot may require multiple viewings to fully understand

General Critique

The scene starts with a lot of action and tension, which is engaging for the audience. However, the transition from West being sentenced to hang to suddenly being in a carriage with Gordon and Rita feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
There is a lot of dialogue in this scene, which is necessary for character development and plot progression. However, some of the dialogue feels a bit forced and could be more natural and fluid.
The introduction of Rita as a scientist and then revealing she is actually looking for her father adds an interesting twist to the story. However, the execution of this reveal could be more impactful and emotionally resonant.
The interaction between West, Gordon, and Rita is dynamic and adds depth to the characters. However, the pacing of the scene could be improved to build more tension and suspense.
The scene ends with a cliffhanger, which is a good way to keep the audience engaged and wanting to know what happens next.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider refining the transition between different elements of the scene to make it flow more smoothly.
Work on making the dialogue more natural and reflective of each character's personality.
Enhance the emotional impact of Rita's reveal about her true identity to create a stronger connection with the audience.
Focus on pacing to build tension and suspense throughout the scene.
Continue the cliffhanger ending to keep the audience intrigued and eager for the next scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is action-packed, full of suspense, and introduces new plot elements that raise the stakes for the main characters. The dialogue is engaging and the conflict between Loveless and McGrath adds depth to the story.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using a tank as a weapon, the betrayal between Loveless and McGrath, and the introduction of Rita Escobar as a new character are all well-executed and add intrigue to the plot.

Plot: 9

The plot thickens with the revelation of Rita's true identity, the conflict between Loveless and McGrath, and the introduction of the tank as a formidable weapon. The scene moves the story forward and raises the stakes for the main characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as a moving wagon, sharpshooters, and a tank in a historical setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Loveless, McGrath, and Rita are further developed in this scene, adding complexity to their motivations and relationships. Rita's personal connection to the missing scientists adds emotional depth to the story.

Character Changes: 7

Rita's revelation about her true identity and her personal quest to find her father mark a significant change in her character. Loveless's betrayal of McGrath also reveals a darker side to his character.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect and rescue the missing scientists, as well as to uncover the truth behind the situation. This reflects his sense of duty, loyalty, and determination.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to stop the antagonist, Loveless, and his plans for destruction. This goal reflects the immediate challenge and threat posed by the antagonist.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Loveless and McGrath, the action-packed battle with the tank, and the personal stakes for Rita create a high level of tension and suspense in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges from both external threats and internal conflicts. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the scene include the betrayal between Loveless and McGrath, the battle with the tank, and Rita's personal quest to find her father. The outcome of these events will have significant consequences for the characters and the overall plot.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new plot elements, raising the stakes for the main characters, and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions of the characters, the introduction of new elements like the tank, and the shifting dynamics between the protagonist and antagonist.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's sense of justice and duty versus Loveless's ruthless and destructive nature. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in honor and morality.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The emotional impact of Rita's revelation about her father, the betrayal between Loveless and McGrath, and the high stakes of the battle with the tank add depth and intensity to the scene.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the characters and their motivations. The banter between West, Gordon, and Rita adds humor and tension to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and unexpected twists. The characters' interactions and the high-stakes situation keep the audience hooked.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and tension. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness and keeps the audience engaged.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. It is well-paced and visually engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format with clear action beats, character interactions, and escalating tension. It maintains the expected format for its genre.

73 EXT. TRAIN SIDING (NEAR MALHEUREUX POINT) - NIGHT 73

A black waits ominously on the tracks. It's less a
traditional train car than a riveted, armored, turreted fortress
on wheels. Also, it currently lacks an engine.

Loveless, over his shoulder to the foreign contingent...

(CONTINUED)
55.

73 CONTINUED: 73

LOVELESS
My destination is both the
future... and the past! Forget
Paul Revere, this will be the most
revolutionary ride in the history
of America!!

He looks dotingly at the TANK, which CLATTERS up from the
battlefield on its treads... then drives onto the tracks.
Wheels drop down out of the chassis, the treads retract
up, and the TANK BACKS INTO the rest of the TRAIN.
CLANK. It's a neat modular fit. Black death on rails.

The foreigners watch with awe as...

ANGLE - LOVELESS

wheels up onto the tank/train. He drops the
expansiveness, fixes them with a viper's eye.

LOVELESS
If you don't want to miss the
ride, have the last payment of
1000 kilograms of your country's
gold in my hands no later than
Friday. That's when I make our
little proposal to President
Grant. One I'm ever so confident
he's gonna accept.
(now a jaunty wave
of his hat)
Au revoir, adios, and ta-ta!

74 EXT. MALHEUREUX POINT - BATTLEFIELD - STRAIGHT-DOWN 74
ANGLE - NIGHT

It's quiet. The dead men are all in the #9 or #10 ring.

Now a rider ENTERS FRAME...

75 EXT. MALHEUREUX POINT - BATTLEFIELD - NIGHT 75

West slowly dismounts, transfixed by the slaughter on the
pre-fab battlefield. There's something hauntingly familiar
about all this for him -- the mangled bodies, the tread marks...
But we'll find out about that later.

West draws his weapon and begins walking through the
victims. The pace of his search quickens when he isn't
finding what he's looking for -- General McGrath.

(CONTINUED)
56.

75 CONTINUED: 75

NEW ANGLE - GORDON AND RITA

have arrived in the one-horse carriage. Gordon is trying
to recreate the crime scene. Rita trails behind him, his
coat thrown over her shoulders, trying not to gag as she
passes the mangled corpses.

GORDON
It came up out of the lake...
from the way these corpses are
positioned, laid down a 360-degree
pattern of cannon fire... then
disappeared in moments.
(puts a foot on a body,
scratches his chin)
My God, what kind of weapon is it?

Rita can't handle Gordon's clinical posturing.

RITA
Excuse me, I think I'm going to be
sick.

As she walks quickly away, West comes over, a haunted
look on his face.

WEST
It just rolls on and on. Makes a
screeching sound -- like a wounded
animal. Got a 'cabin' on top with
a cannon... swivels 'round like an
eagle's head.

GORDON
You saw it?

WEST
Heard about it. Thought it was
crazy survivors' stories.

GORDON
What survivors? There aren't any
here.

WEST
New Liberty, Illinois -- the free
slave town just over the border.
Just one week before the War ended
in '65. I was in the 9th Cavalry
that discovered it. Old men,
women, children... they used them
for target practice...

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 57.

75 CONTINUED: (2) 75

He looks out at the battlefield as if reliving it.
Gordon is sympathetic to his obvious pain -- just shuts
up. West's grim reverie is interrupted by MOANING coming
from the shoreline. They all follow the sound to find...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Suspenseful, Dramatic, Mysterious

Summary Loveless unveils his scheme to travel through time aboard an armored train, but demands a hefty payment from outsiders. Witnessing the aftermath of a brutal massacre, West recalls a similar tragedy, as Gordon and Rita stumble upon a wounded survivor.

Strengths

Innovative concepts
Intense dialogue
Revelation of past events
High stakes

Weaknesses

Some character development could be more pronounced

General Critique

The scene sets up a dramatic and intense moment with Loveless boarding the black armored train and announcing his plan, creating a sense of impending danger and urgency.
The dialogue and actions of Loveless effectively convey his villainous nature and his grandiose plans, adding depth to his character.
The visual description of the armored tank backing into the train and the modular fit is well-written and helps to create a vivid image of the scene.
The introduction of the foreign contingent adds an element of intrigue and sets up the stakes for the upcoming confrontation with Loveless.
The revelation of Loveless's demand for 1000 kilograms of gold and his confidence in President Grant's acceptance of his proposal adds tension and sets up a deadline for the characters to act.
The transition to West at the battlefield and his haunted demeanor adds an emotional layer to the scene, hinting at his personal connection to the events unfolding.
Gordon's attempt to recreate the crime scene and Rita's reaction to the mangled corpses add a touch of realism and humanity to the scene, contrasting with the larger-than-life villainy of Loveless.
West's recounting of the New Liberty massacre adds a sense of history and tragedy to the scene, deepening the emotional impact of the events.
The moaning coming from the shoreline at the end of the scene creates a sense of mystery and sets up a new development for the characters to investigate.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more interaction between Loveless and the foreign contingent to further establish their dynamic and motivations.
Explore the emotional impact of the events on West and Gordon in more depth to enhance the character development.
Provide more context or hints about West's personal connection to the events at the battlefield to build suspense and intrigue.
Consider incorporating more visual cues or descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and tension of the scene.
Continue to build on the themes of revenge, justice, and redemption that are hinted at in West's recounting of the New Liberty massacre.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is filled with suspense, drama, and mystery, with high stakes and a revelation of haunting past events. The innovative elements and intense dialogue contribute to a high rating.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of an armored tank/train, the gold payment, and the mysterious weapon are unique and engaging, adding depth to the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed, with the revelation of past events, the introduction of high stakes, and the confrontation with Loveless driving the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique and visually striking setting with the armored train car, and the characters' dialogue and actions feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are engaging, with West's haunted past, Gordon's analytical nature, and Loveless's villainous presence adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

West's revelation of his past and Gordon's analytical approach show some character development, but it is not the central focus of the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to secure the last payment of 1000 kilograms of gold from the foreign contingent by Friday. This reflects Loveless's desire for power, control, and financial gain.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to make a proposal to President Grant with confidence that he will accept it. This reflects Loveless's ambition and determination to achieve his political objectives.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters, the high stakes, and the mysterious weapon create a tense and suspenseful atmosphere.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations between the characters that create uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes involving the gold payment, the mysterious weapon, and the confrontation with Loveless create a sense of urgency and danger.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, introducing new elements, raising the stakes, and setting up future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions and decisions made by the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of power, manipulation, and exploitation. Loveless's actions challenge the values of honesty, integrity, and ethical behavior.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The emotional impact is driven by West's haunted past and the revelation of past events, adding depth to the characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense, revealing character motivations and driving the plot forward effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense dialogue, action-packed sequences, and the introduction of intriguing characters and conflicts.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, action lines, and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format with clear descriptions of the setting, character actions, and dialogue.

76 EXT. MALHEUREUX POINT - MARSH - NIGHT 76

General McGrath, washed up on the shore. West looks down
at him. Now Rita, still looking green around the gills,
rejoins the party.

WEST
That's when I vowed to follow
McGrath to the end of the earth.

As grey as four-day-old mullet, McGrath manages a smile
for his relentless pursuer.

McGRATH
(barely audible)
What's the matter, West? Thought
you'd be happy to find me... like
this.

WEST
I was hoping to kill you myself.

RITA
That's a nice way to talk to
people.

McGRATH
You'll have to live with it... As
I've lived with the blame for New
Liberty.

McGrath fades out. West grabs him and shakes him.

WEST
What do you mean?

McGRATH
(opens eyes)
It was Loveless... his plan. He
operated the killing machine
there. Smarter now... left it to
others here.

With the meaning of it all sinking in, West grabs McGrath
by the collar and pulls him toward him.

WEST
Where is he? Where did he go?!

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 58.

76 CONTINUED: 76

The General tries to speak. West puts his ear to the
General's mouth. But before he can say it, McGrath
closes his eyes for the last time.

West's shoulders sag. Then from behind...

RITA (O.S.)
Well, I know that.

West turns to her... well?

RITA
I'll tell you if you take me
along.

WEST
(in no mood)
Just tell me.

RITA
The girls at the mansion. They
talk.
(imitating a la
Lippenreider)
'I vonder if my hair vill get
frissy in ze desert...? Vhere is
diss Ooo-tah anyvay?'

As West and Gordon turn to one another in alarm...

WEST/GORDON
Ooo-tah?!

77 EXT. TRAIN SIDING (NEW ORLEANS) - NIGHT 77

West and Gordon climb up onto the Wanderer and enter...

78 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - ENGINE STOPPED - NIGHT 78

West and Gordon burst in, surprising Coleman, who's got
his feet up, perusing the Playboy of the day -- a mail
order catalogue.

WEST
Coleman... let's go! Full speed
ahead!

West snatches the catalogue out of his hands, does a take
at the pictures of chunky models in bloomers.

COLEMAN
Aye, sir!

(CONTINUED)
59.

78 CONTINUED: 78

As Coleman quickly exits, Gordon looks out the window,
onto the platform.

GORDON
(wistful)
I don't see why we couldn't have
given her a ride back home to
Texas. It is on the way...

WEST
On the way to Utah where our
President happens to be. Maybe we
oughta be worryin' about that
little coincidence!

As the ENGINE ROARS to life...

79 EXT. TRAIN SIDING (NEW ORLEANS) - POV SHOT FROM 79
WANDERER - NIGHT

Rita gives a forlorn little wave as the TRAIN CHUGS away.

80 INT. WANDERER - ENGINE CAR - NIGHT 80

GORDON
We wouldn't have known where
Loveless was going if it wasn't
for her. Seems a bit ungracious.
Possibly perilous.

WEST
Look, all that would happen would
be she'd get in our way and I'd
probably wind up gettin' in the
saddle with her.

GORDON
Funny that you say that. Because
I thought she was more interested
in me.

81 EXT. TRAIN SIDING (NEW ORLEANS) - NIGHT 81

Rita disappears from view in a cloud of steam...

82 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - NIGHT 82

West has every weapon on the train out for cleaning and
loading. Gordon is in the galley where he continues
his conversation with West while preparing dinner.

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 60.

82 CONTINUED: 82

GORDON (O.S.)
(from gallery)
You know, I've been trying to
place myself in Loveless's
shoes...

WEST
Good luck on that one.

GORDON
(weakly)
Ha, ha, ha... You know, I can't
imagine what Loveless -- a man
without any reproductive organs
could possibly want with Rita.

Suddenly there's a WHOOSH and Rita falls through the
ceiling and plops in the chair just like West did
earlier. He instinctively pulls his gun. Puts it
away as Gordon muses about her anatomy.

GORDON (O.S.)
(not realizing she's
there)
Not that Rita doesn't have a
figure that would inspire a
Botticelli... or a Raphael.

Rita raises an eyebrow, looks to the galley as Gordon
comes out with a platter of food. He still doesn't
see her there.

GORDON
... especially her breasts. Did
you notice the way one of them...
(cups his hands)
Both of them actually... to say
nothing of her buttocks...

Gordon turns and looks into the car. Finally sees her.
Changes gears without missing a beat.

GORDON
... and the group of foreign
ministers at Loveless's party...
What were they doing there?

Gordon gestures for West to join him at the pool table.
Rita immediately goes for the food.

(CONTINUED)
61.

82 CONTINUED: (2) 82

GORDON
(using pool balls)
Here's France, Spain and
Britain...
(sotto voce)
How long has she been here?

WEST
Since the first breast.

Gordon turns to her, exasperated with himself.

GORDON
I am so embarrassed.

WEST
I'll spare you.
(to Rita)
Make yourself a sandwich to take
with you. You're getting off.

83 OMITTED 83
& &
84 84

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Mystery
Tone: Suspenseful, Humorous, Dramatic

Summary West discovers General McGrath washed up on the shore, learning of Loveless's involvement in the New Liberty massacre and his plans for Utah. Rita provides additional information and joins West and Gordon on their train journey to stop Loveless.

Strengths

Engaging plot
Dynamic characters
Witty dialogue
High stakes

Weaknesses

Some elements may be confusing without prior context

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension, considering the gravity of the situation with General McGrath revealing crucial information about Loveless's plan.
The dialogue feels a bit flat and could be more impactful to convey the emotions and stakes involved in the conversation.
There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the emotional impact of McGrath's revelation and West's reaction to it.
The transition between Rita falling through the ceiling and Gordon's oblivious comments about her anatomy feels disjointed and disrupts the flow of the scene.
The scene could benefit from more visual cues and descriptive language to create a vivid and engaging setting.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more tension and urgency to the scene by emphasizing the importance of McGrath's revelation and West's reaction to it.
Revise the dialogue to make it more impactful and emotionally resonant, especially in moments of revelation and conflict.
Smooth out the transition between different elements of the scene to maintain a cohesive narrative flow.
Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and engaging setting for the scene.
Explore opportunities to deepen the emotional depth of the characters and their interactions to make the scene more compelling.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging with a good balance of action, humor, and mystery. It sets up the mission to stop Loveless effectively.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of pursuing Loveless and unraveling his plans is intriguing and drives the plot forward.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed with twists and turns, leading to the discovery of Loveless's plan and the urgency to stop him.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh elements such as the mysterious character of Loveless and the unexpected revelation about McGrath's involvement, adding originality to the story.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters have depth and unique personalities, adding to the dynamics of the scene.

Character Changes: 6

There are subtle character changes, especially in West's determination to stop Loveless.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal is to uncover the truth behind McGrath's involvement in past events and to find Loveless. This reflects his need for justice and closure.

External Goal: 7

West's external goal is to find Loveless and stop his plans, which is reflected in his urgency and determination in the scene.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict with the pursuit of Loveless, the discovery of his plan, and the urgency to stop him.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing obstacles and conflicting goals that add tension and uncertainty to the story.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high with the threat of Loveless's destructive plan and the urgency to prevent it.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information and setting up the mission to stop Loveless.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in the plot, such as McGrath's confession and Rita's sudden appearance.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of revenge, justice, and the consequences of past actions. McGrath's confession challenges West's beliefs and values.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact is moderate, with tension and some humor present in the scene.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals information about the characters and the plot.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the mix of suspense, humor, and character dynamics that keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and suspense that keeps the story moving forward.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear action lines, dialogue, and scene descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a typical structure for a mystery/action genre, with a buildup of tension, revelation of secrets, and a cliffhanger ending.

85 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - NIGHT 85

Rita hasn't even waited for anyone's approval to start
eating. West shakes his head at her chutzpa.

RITA
But... I can help you.

WEST
How could you possibly help us?

RITA
Well, I heard you talking about
why all those foreign guys were
at Loveless's party...? You
want me to tell you?

GORDON
By all means.

She uses the time to get another bite into her mouth.

RITA
(to Gordon, chewing)
This is fantastic. You can cut it
with a fork! How'd you cook it?

(CONTINUED)
62.

85 CONTINUED: 85

GORDON
(someone appreciates
him)
Well, in a daubiere... a clay pot.
A French method which...

West cuts off the chit-chat.

WEST
What about the foreign guys?!

RITA
They were mad about something,
you know? Something about a
real bad deal in Louisiana on
purpose.

GORDON
The Louisiana Purchase?

RITA
And Queen somebody-somebody of
France got swindled.

GORDON
Queen Isabella of Spain.

West rolls his eyes.

WEST
Gordon, this is crazy. She
doesn't know what she's talking
about!

West picks up the speaker horn and calls Coleman.

WEST
(into speaker horn)
Coleman, stop the train! Miss
Escobar's getting off.

COLEMAN (V.O.)
(over pipe)
Who the hell's Miss Escobar?

RITA
(grabs horn)
I'm a frightened, starving, half-
naked young woman who only wants
to find her father!

COLEMAN (V.O.)
(over pipe)
Half-naked?

(CONTINUED)
63.

85 CONTINUED: (2) 85

WEST
(grabs it back)
Coleman... stop the train.

COLEMAN (V.O.)
(over pipe)
We're not puttin' anybody off.
Not out here in the middle of
nowhere.

West looks out the window. Nothing but sagebrush and
animal skulls out there. Rita comes up close to Jim,
fire in her big, brown eyes.

RITA
Please, Jim. My father's the only
family I've got. What am I
supposed to do? Sit home and wait
for news he's been killed? Or go
do something! What would you do,
Jim?!

That gets the man of action where he lives.

WEST
Look, I got nothing against you,
Rita. It's just that... What's
going to happen when we catch up
to Loveless... with you on the
train?

She grabs West's hand.

RITA
I know you'd never let him take me
back. I've seen you shoot.

West kinda melts a little. This girl does have her
charms. Gordon, a little jealous, puffs his chest out.

GORDON
I assure you, Rita, an attack by
Loveless would be an exercise in
futility.
(stands for tour)
... Allow me to demonstrate how my
design suggestions have made the
Wanderer impervious to attack.

West draws his guns, twirls them and reholsters.

WEST
I'm the impervious part.

(CONTINUED)
64.

85 CONTINUED: (3) 85

GORDON
Hardly. Completely armor-
plated...

Artemus raps his knuckles on the wall making a METALLIC
sound. Then he smugly demonstrates that the light
fixture is actually a Gatling gun.

GORDON
An attacker would find the
lighting inside extremely...
unflattering.

Finally he moves to the billiard table, while Rita nods
... and keeps eating.

GORDON
And if, by some inconceivable
fluke, they did manage to gain
entrance...
(rolls billiard ball
into bumper)
An innocent billiard ball this
way.
(picks it up,
presses the number)
But depress the number... a
sleeping gas bomb. Effective in
under three seconds.

Gordon unclicks it, triumphantly rolls it into a pocket.

GORDON
So rest assured, Rita... you are
completely safe within these
walls.

West snorts at his obvious play for Rita's attentions.

WEST
I don't know about you, ma'am, but
I know I'll be sleeping a whole
lot better tonight...
(yawns)
... assuming Loveless barges in
here and feels like a game of
pool.

RITA
Speaking of sleeping, I'm pretty
tired. Artemus, do you think I
could borrow something to wear?

West jumps in before Gordon can answer.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 65.

85 CONTINUED: (4) 85

WEST
I've got somethin' you might use.
It ain't stylish, but it's
practical...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Suspenseful, Informative

Summary Rita offers to aid the group in exchange for staying on the train. Her information about foreign men at Loveless's party piques interest, despite West's doubts. She reveals their discontent over a failed deal in Louisiana. West reconsiders his stance after Rita's plea to locate her father. Gordon showcases the train's security features to impress Rita, leading to West's decision to allow her to remain.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Strong character dynamics
Innovative concept

Weaknesses

Some repetitive dialogue
Slight lack of emotional depth

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear focus and direction, with the dialogue jumping between different topics without a cohesive thread.
The character interactions feel forced and unnatural, especially the back-and-forth between West, Gordon, and Rita.
The dialogue is clunky and lacks depth, with characters delivering lines that feel more like exposition than natural conversation.
The scene lacks tension and conflict, making it feel flat and unengaging.
The pacing is slow, with too much time spent on irrelevant details like Rita eating and Gordon showing off his gadgets.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on developing a clear objective or conflict within the scene to drive the dialogue and character interactions.
Streamline the dialogue to make it more natural and engaging, with each line serving a purpose in advancing the plot or revealing character traits.
Introduce more tension and stakes to make the scene more dynamic and compelling.
Consider cutting down on unnecessary details and actions to improve the pacing and keep the scene moving forward.
Work on creating more authentic and meaningful interactions between the characters to make the scene feel more realistic and engaging.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging with a good mix of humor, suspense, and informative elements. The dialogue is witty and the characters are well-developed.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a high-tech, armored train with unique gadgets and costumes adds an interesting and innovative element to the scene.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses as the characters discuss their next move and receive important information about Loveless's plan.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique blend of historical references, technological elements, and character dynamics, creating an original and engaging narrative. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's authenticity.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 6

Rita's plea for help and the characters' reactions show a slight change in their dynamics.

Internal Goal: 8

Rita's internal goal is to find her father and ensure her safety in a dangerous situation. This reflects her need for family connection and security.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to stop Loveless and protect Rita from harm. This goal reflects the immediate challenge they are facing and the need to maintain safety and order.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is conflict between the characters regarding the next steps in their mission.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing challenges and conflicts that add depth to the narrative. The audience is kept guessing about the characters' motivations and actions.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are raised as the characters learn about Loveless's dangerous plan and the urgency of their mission.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by providing crucial information about Loveless's plan and the characters' next steps.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' actions and dialogue. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around trust and reliance on technology versus individual skill and intuition. This challenges the characters' beliefs about safety and control.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

There is a moderate emotional impact as Rita pleads for help and the characters show concern for her situation.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and the plot.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of tension, humor, and character dynamics. The dialogue and action keep the audience interested and invested in the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of dialogue, action, and exposition. It maintains a sense of tension and momentum, keeping the audience engaged.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. It is easy to follow and visually engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a balance of dialogue, action, and character development. It maintains a good pace and rhythm, keeping the audience engaged.

86 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - NIGHT 86

West and Gordon have bunked down on opposite couches,
both deep in thought.

WEST
Loveless kidnapped two chemists,
that means there's gonna be
explosives. He's got a metallurgist,
so there's gonna be heavy armor.
And he's got Rita's father, who --
according to you -- is the world's
foremost specialist in hydraulics.
Which means, whatever it is... it's
gonna move.

West sits up.

WEST
So what, is he building that's
gonna make the President fall to
his knees and surrender the country?

GORDON
A bedside heater.

WEST
What?

GORDON
Rita. She needs a bedside heater.
I mean, it gets cold in there, you
know, with the stained glass window
right over the --

ANGLE - COLEMAN

opens and Rita emerges from the state room...

(INSERT RITA'S BUTT HERE)

Rita leaves...

GORDON
Such a pleasant girl. A real
breath of fresh ass.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 66.

86 CONTINUED: 86

WEST
You said ass.

GORDON
Did I? No...

CUT TO:

87 OMITTED 87

88 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 88

Gordon and West react as Coleman's voice booms out of
the pipe.

COLEMAN (V.O.)
(over pipe)
We have Loveless, gentlemen!
Seven hundred yards and closing!

As they scramble for boots, weapons, Rita comes out of her
room.

RITA
What's going on?

Gordon ushers her to the back.

GORDON
Stay back here, take cover!

Meanwhile, West pulls on his boot. When he stands on it,
a three-inch STILETTO SNAPS out of the toe.

WEST
What the hell is this?

GORDON
I took the liberty of installing
it while you were sleeping.

West looks at him incredulously.

WEST
Leave my stuff alone!
67.

89 EXT. MOUNTAIN TUNNEL - TRACKS - TRAIN CHASE - DAY 89

Loveless's TANK/TRAIN CHUGS into a mountain tunnel. The
Wanderer is just behind it... and goes into the tunnel
seconds later.

90 EXT. OTHER SIDE OF TUNNEL - TRACKS - TRAIN CHASE - DAY 90

The Wanderer BLASTS out of the tunnel. (In the f.g. we
might notice a metal post that extends up OUT OF FRAME.)

91 INT. WANDERER - ENGINE - DAY 91

Coleman squints ahead. He sees the tracks up ahead are
empty. No Loveless.

COLEMAN
Am I missin' somethin' here...?

92 EXT. TRACKS - LOVELESS'S TRAIN - TRAIN CHASE - DAY 92

Up on metal stilts. It lets the Wanderer pass underneath
it. Then it lowers itself back down onto the tracks.
The legs fold to the side, and the tank/train pursues its
pursuers.

93 INT. LOVELESS'S TRAIN - DAY 93

Loveless turns to his three distaff warriors.

LOVELESS
Amazonia, shall we disabuse our
friends of the notion that one's
problems are solved when we see
the light at the end of the
tunnel!

As Munitia swivels the cannon barrel...

94 OMITTED 94
thru thru
97 97

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi
Tone: Humorous, Suspenseful, Exciting

Summary West and Gordon speculate on Loveless's plans, leading to an argument about a stiletto in West's boot. They are alerted that they have caught up to Loveless's train and prepare for a confrontation. Loveless plans an attack from above as the Wanderer train exits a tunnel.

Strengths

Engaging action sequences
Witty dialogue
Intriguing plot twists

Weaknesses

Some elements may be too over-the-top for some viewers

General Critique

The dialogue between West and Gordon seems disjointed and lacks a clear focus on the main plot points. The transition from discussing Loveless's plans to Gordon's comment about a bedside heater feels out of place and disrupts the flow of the scene.
The humor in the scene, particularly Gordon's comment about Rita's butt and the play on words with 'breath of fresh ass,' may come across as crass and detract from the seriousness of the situation they are in.
The introduction of Coleman's voice over the pipe and the urgency of Loveless's approach could have been better integrated into the dialogue between West, Gordon, and Rita to create a more seamless transition between the different elements of the scene.
The stiletto in West's boot and Gordon's explanation for installing it while West was sleeping feels forced and unnecessary, adding an element of confusion rather than enhancing the tension or action of the scene.
The visual insert of Rita's butt and the subsequent comment by Gordon may be seen as objectifying and inappropriate, detracting from the overall tone and impact of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on maintaining a consistent tone and narrative flow throughout the scene to ensure that the dialogue and actions of the characters align with the overall plot and themes of the screenplay.
Consider revising the humor in the scene to be more in line with the tone of the story and the urgency of the situation, avoiding jokes or comments that may detract from the gravity of the events unfolding.
Integrate the elements of urgency and impending danger more effectively into the dialogue and actions of the characters to create a sense of tension and suspense that drives the scene forward.
Reevaluate the inclusion of the stiletto in West's boot and the interaction between West, Gordon, and Rita to ensure that these elements contribute meaningfully to the plot and character development without feeling forced or out of place.
Avoid objectifying or inappropriate visual inserts and comments that may detract from the overall impact and integrity of the scene, focusing instead on enhancing the narrative and character dynamics in a respectful manner.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is action-packed, humorous, and suspenseful, with a good mix of dialogue and physical conflict. It moves the story forward and introduces new elements that raise the stakes.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a heist involving kidnapped scientists, unique gadgets, and a tank/train chase is engaging and well-executed.

Plot: 7

The plot is intricate and full of twists and turns, with the introduction of new information about Loveless's plan and the rescue mission for Rita's father.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique gadgets and technology, along with witty dialogue and character interactions. The actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding a fresh approach to the genre.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions drive the scene forward and add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo some changes, particularly in their understanding of the situation and their relationships with each other.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal is to uncover Loveless's plan and prevent any harm from coming to the President or the country. This reflects his sense of duty, loyalty, and determination to protect others.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to stop Loveless and his plan to harm the President and the country. This reflects the immediate danger and challenges they are facing.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both physical and verbal, with the characters facing off against Loveless and his minions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Loveless posing a significant threat to the protagonists. The audience is left wondering how they will overcome the challenges and obstacles ahead.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with Rita's father's life on the line, the threat of Loveless's plan, and the intense chase scene adding to the tension.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new information, raising the stakes, and setting up the next phase of the mission.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' actions and the unfolding of Loveless's plan. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict between West's sense of duty and Loveless's desire for power and control. This challenges West's beliefs in justice and protection of others.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

While there are moments of tension and suspense, the emotional impact is not the primary focus of the scene.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and the plot.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of tension, humor, and action. The characters' interactions and the impending danger create a sense of suspense and excitement.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspense. The rhythm keeps the audience engaged and builds tension effectively.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.

98 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 98

West and Gordon are about to head forward when Gordon
glances out the back, grabs West.

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 68.

98 CONTINUED: 98

GORDON
Jim, we're the ones chasing
Loveless, correct?
(as West shoots
him a look)
Then perhaps you could explain
what they're doing behind us.

As West looks out the back too... KA-BOOM!! A SHELL
EXPLODES just to the right of them. Now ANOTHER
EXPLOSION to the left of them. The Wanderer rocks
precariously from wheel to wheel, throwing a screaming
Rita back and forth between West and Gordon.

WEST
They couldn't fire the cannon at
us from in front. Any other
questions?

99 OMITTED 99

100 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 100

West jumps up on the pool table.

WEST
Would it put you out too much to
throw me a rope and hit your
little secret button?

With a shrug, Gordon tosses West a rope and hits the
same hidden button he had during their fight. Whoosh!
West is gone as the pool table flips over. As Rita
covers her mouth in amazement...

GORDON
I taught him how it worked.

101 EXT. UNDER WANDERER - DAY 101

West hanging upside-down. He hand-over-hands himself
back to the escape trolley. He slides his back on top of
it -- then lowers it onto the track.

Little wheels fit on the inside of the track. Once
coupled, West releases the cable and he shoots backwards
-- OUT OF FRAME.

102 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 102

Gordon opens a panel in the floor and snaps up a winch
with a large handle. He starts to crank it, slowly
letting out cable.
69.

103 EXT. TRACKS - TRAIN CHASE - POV FROM BACK OF MOVING 103
WANDERER - DAY

Out the back door, we see West emerge from under the
Wanderer heading for Loveless's tank/train.

104 INSERT 104

Suddenly there's a PING! BONG! PING! POP! The TEETH
of the GEARS can't take the pressure and they're flying
off the WINCH.

105 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 105

Gordon, realizing another invention of his needs some
tweaking, snaps out his pen and pad. As he scribbles a
note, Rita considers the exotic pen holder.

RITA
You know you could put a gun on
that thing.

Gordon looks up at her disapprovingly... not you too?
Meanwhile, on the tracks...

106 EXT. TRACKS - TRAIN CHASE - WEST ON TROLLEY - DAY 106

Off his wire tether, he flies backwards at 80 mph.

107 EXT. TRACKS - TRAIN CHASE - POV FROM BACK OF MOVING 107
WANDERER - DAY

It looks like his head's about to be smashed by
Loveless's tank/train.

108 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 108

Rita turns away, buries her head in Gordon's shoulder
just as...

109 EXT. TRACKS - TRAIN CHASE - DAY 109

West slides under the train! He lies flat as the death
MACHINE ROARS over him. At the last second, he lassos
the rope around the rear axle. It slows him for a
beat... then stretches. He's gotten Gordon's trick rope.
We see his silent scream -- "Artemus!" He slides way
behind the tank/train, then springs back... past the
tank/train. Finally, West slides back underneath and
manages to grab hold of their caboose. He swings his
legs up, pulls himself around onto the step.
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 70.

110 EXT. LOVELESS'S TRAIN - ROOF - MOVING - DAY 110

West makes his way forward to the smokestack. He tries
to flip the flue closed, steam scalding his hands. He
doesn't see Hudson come at him from behind. He wraps a
garrote around West's neck, pulls it tight -- practically
crushing his larynx...

111 INT. LOVELESS'S TRAIN - ENGINE - DAY 111

Munitia is bent over, has her eye to the cannon sight.
As she squints through the smoke at the Wanderer up ahead,
Loveless, sitting behind her, has his full attention
focused on her tuchus.

MUNITIA
I have them square in my sights,
sire.

LOVELESS
(distracted)
As do I, Munitia... as do I.
(looks up, wry smile)
Fire away!

But it's a little difficult with him stroking her
buttocks. BOOM! The CANNON FIRES...

112 OMITTED 112

113 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 113

Gordon and Rita are looking out the back when they see
the latest missile headed their way. Gordon pulls Rita
down at the last second as a huge steel arrow shoots
through the door, past their heads... and into the parlor
wall.

As metal barbs flick out, locking the tip in, and the
steel chain it's attached to draws tight...

114 EXT. LOVELESS'S TRAIN - ROOF - MOVING - DAY 114

West and Hudson roll around precariously. West claws
desperately at the garrote. It looks grim for our hero
until he knocks his boot heels together. CLICK... his
STILETTO BLADE appears.

Summoning his last ounce of strength, he mule-kicks...
sinking the blade into Hudson's leg. West grabs him and
shoves him head first into the smokestack. The big
Indian plugs it up like a cork in a bottle.
71.

115 INT. LOVELESS'S TRAIN - ENGINE - DAY 115

Loveless has only a moment to gloat over his marksmanship
before the compartment begins filling with smoke.
Choking clouds that send Loveless et al into coughing
fits.

LOVELESS
Close the fire door!

Just in time, Amazonia swings it shut as the unvented
BOILER EXPLODES, sending a FIREBALL ripping through the
back of the train, destroying it. Up ahead...

116 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 116

Gordon and Rita are thrown across the car, along with
everything else inside, as Loveless's train's sudden
stop... jerks them with it. The SCREECH of STEEL WHEELS
SCRAPING on IRON RAILS is sickening. They clutch onto
one another... as the Wanderer skids to a stop.

As they pick themselves up, Gordon looks to Rita who's
shaken up and scared. Now FOOTSTEPS coming up the
stairs.

RITA
I won't let Loveless take me
again! I'd rather be dead!

GORDON
(recalling West's
words)
That's not a good one to wish for.

To defend herself, Rita grabs one of the sleeping-gas
pool balls rolling around on the ground. Gordon leads
her into the stateroom to lock her in, but she grabs his
hand.

RITA
Please, Artemus, don't leave me
alone!

Rita closes the door behind him and locks it.

117 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - STATEROOM - DAY 117

Gordon and Rita on the bed. FOOTSTEPS APPROACH. Gordon
gestures to be still. The door handle jiggles. Rita gets
ready to arm the POOL BALL.

(CONTINUED)
72.

117 CONTINUED: 117

WEST (O.S.)
(hoarsely, not
sounding like him)
It's me, Jim. Open up!

RITA
It's a trick, I know Loveless.

CLICK, she pushes the number. Gordon makes a grab for
it.

GORDON
Rita, no! It's just...

CLUNK... she drops it to the floor.

ANGLE - WEST

standing in the doorway. He rubs a raw welt on his neck
from the garrote, smirks when he sees Gordon on the bed
with Rita. But his smirk drops when he sees the pool
ball roll between his feet -- spewing a purple cloud of
sleeping gas.

West gives Gordon a Wile E. Coyote look, croaks...

WEST
Too damn late, is what it is.

118 EXT. CORNFIELD - DAY 118

A sea of corn tassels waving in the wind. Loveless's
destroyed train is in the b.g. The CAMERA TILTS DOWN to
find...

ANGLE ON WEST AND GORDON

lying on the ground with their BACKS TO us. They stir.
West props himself up, looks over at Gordon, who has just
regained consciousness.

WEST
(mimicking him)
An innocent billiard ball this
way, but depress the number and on
impact... a sleeping-gas bomb.

West shakes his head disparagingly and stands. He feels
the metal band around his neck and surveys the 18-inch
wire fence which has been laid around them in a circle.
West is about to step over it. Gordon grabs his leg.

(CONTINUED)
73.

118 CONTINUED: 118

GORDON
Don't move!

119 EXT. WANDERER - BACK PLATFORM - DAY 119

Loveless is sitting in his wheelchair, fifty yards from
West and Gordon. On Loveless's elbow sits Miss
Lippenreider. She looks through binoculars and lip reads
West and Gordon.

LOVELESS
Continue, Miss Lippenreider...

MISS LIPPENREIDER
(doing both voices
in a monotone)
West. Let go of my leg! Gordon.
Listen to me. Loveless collared
us with the same metal device we
found on Morton.

Loveless turns to Munitia, who is loading two 36-inch-
diameter metal discs into what looks like a CD
changer/clay-pigeon-thrower.

LOVELESS
Oh, Munitia... I hope we're not
going to leave evidence behind
like we did last time.

MUNITIA
Nitro this time, sire.

As she arms the device, and a red light comes on...

LOVELESS
(through megaphone)
Good morning, gentlemen! I trust
you slept well.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Suspenseful, Humorous, Dramatic

Summary West and Gordon chase Loveless's train, sabotaging it with an escape trolley and an obstructed smokestack, before being captured and surrounded by a booby-trapped fence.

Strengths

Inventive gadgets
Sharp dialogue
Intense action
Engaging conflict

Weaknesses

Some cliched elements
Predictable outcomes

General Critique

The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, with a lot of chaotic action and little character development.
The dialogue feels forced and lacks depth, with characters making unrealistic decisions and interactions.
The transition between different elements of the scene is abrupt and disjointed, making it hard to follow the sequence of events.
There is a lack of emotional depth and connection between the characters, making it difficult for the audience to invest in their journey.
The scene relies heavily on cliches and predictable plot devices, diminishing the impact of the action and suspense.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on developing the characters' motivations and relationships to create more engaging interactions.
Streamline the action sequences to make them more coherent and impactful.
Add more depth to the dialogue to reveal the characters' inner thoughts and emotions.
Consider restructuring the scene to build tension and suspense effectively.
Avoid relying on cliches and predictable plot devices to keep the audience engaged and surprised.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging with a good balance of action, humor, and drama. The tension is well-maintained, and the stakes are high.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using inventive gadgets and devices in a high-stakes action sequence is well-executed.

Plot: 7

The plot advances with the confrontation between the heroes and the villain, leading to a climactic showdown.

Originality: 9

The scene features a mix of old-west elements with steampunk technology, creating a fresh and unique setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters show resourcefulness, bravery, and wit, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters show growth in their teamwork and problem-solving skills.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect his companions and outsmart the antagonist, showcasing his loyalty, resourcefulness, and quick thinking under pressure.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to stop the antagonist's train and prevent further harm, reflecting the immediate danger and obstacles they face in the chase.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the heroes and the villain is intense and drives the action forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing multiple obstacles, dangers, and challenges that test their skills and resolve.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high with the heroes facing imminent danger and the threat of the villain's destructive plans.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by setting up the final confrontation with the villain.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists, clever solutions, and constant threat of danger that keep the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the theme of survival and sacrifice, as the characters must make tough decisions to ensure their safety and success.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions from tension to relief to humor.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and adds to the tension and humor of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, witty dialogue, and inventive action sequences that keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, with a perfect balance of action, dialogue, and suspense that keeps the story moving forward at a thrilling pace.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting aligns with the expected format for an action-adventure genre, effectively conveying the intensity and urgency of the chase.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a fast-paced, action-packed structure that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.

120 EXT. CORNFIELD - PERIMETER - DAY 120

West and Gordon squint through the corn, see Loveless on
their train.

GORDON
What have you done with Rita?

(CONTINUED)
74.

120 CONTINUED: 120

LOVELESS
Rita, is it? How familiar! Rita
is sleeping off the after-effects
in the stateroom.
(looks toward bedroom)
Quite lovely, isn't she? Who
knows... I might even become
'familiar' with her myself.

Gordon takes a step. West stops him.

WEST
And that would become one more
reason why I'm going to kill you.

LOVELESS
Yes, Mr. West, I'm sure a well-
endowed blackamoor like yourself
must find it absolutely
impossible... that a freak like me
could fully enjoy the pleasure of
a woman. But having witnessed my
use of mechinology so far...
wouldn't you think I could provide
myself with something for the
lower half of my body that was
hard-pumping and indefatigably
steely?

Loveless looks O.S.

LOVELESS
... And speaking of 'hard
pumping...' Mr. Coleman, full
steam ahead!

121 EXT. WANDERER - ENGINE ROOM - COLEMAN - DAY 121

In the engine room. Amazonia has a gun to his head.

122 EXT. WANDERER (STARTING TO MOVE) - DAY 122

Loveless takes his last shot at them from the back.

LOVELESS
What a marvelous train! You don't
mind if I borrow it, do you,
gentlemen?
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
75.

122 CONTINUED: 122

LOVELESS (CONT'D)
Other than a lack of wheelchair
access, I find it a most
comfortable way to pass the long
miles from here to my laboratory
in Spider Canyon...
(louder, as they
move off)
I'll be seeing President Grant
soon at Promontory Point. What
shall I tell him for you? I'm
afraid it can't be that you're
alive and well...

And as his maniacal giggle hangs in the air...

123 EXT. CORNFIELD - PERIMETER - GORDON AND WEST - DAY 123

frustrated, as the train pulls away from them. West tugs
at the metal collar around his neck.

WEST
Gordon, get out your little tool
kit and get this damn thing off of
me!

Gordon unbuttons his shirt to reveal his leather tool
kit... empty except for a note. Gordon opens it and
reads.

GORDON
'Gentlemen, welcome to the
Loveless Experimental Camp for
Political Dissidents. There are
no guards. No barbed wire. As
long as you stay within the
designated perimeter, you will
stay alive.'

124 EXT. CORNFIELD - WANDERER - MOVING - BACK PLATFORM - DAY 124

Miss Lippenreider is still eavesdropping for Loveless,
through binos.

MISS LIPPENREIDER
West. How do you know it's not
just bullshit? Gordon. Step over
the fence and find out. Rita and
I will put flowers on your grave
every year.
76.

125 EXT. CORNFIELD - PERIMETER - WEST - DAY 125

stands next to the little fence, watching Loveless
escape.

WEST
I don't have time for this.

GORDON
Wait, I have an auxiliary tool
kit!

Gordon peels back the top of his boot revealing it. But
it's too late. West has jumped over the fence. Then he
hops back inside it. He holds his hands out to Gordon.

WEST
See? Nothing happened.

West grabs Gordon by the back of his vest and yanks him
over the fence. Now they hear a slight BUZZING in the
air and it's not a bee.

NEW ANGLE - DISC

comes whipping over the corn straight for West's head.
In a split second, he ducks and the disc cuts the tops of
the corn off and banks around for a new attack.

GORDON
Oh, really...?

Now both of them step over the fenced perimeter and start
running like hell through the cornfield.

WEST
Is it too late to take it off of
me now?

Genres: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Western
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Menacing

Summary In a tense confrontation amidst a cornfield, West and Gordon encounter Loveless on their train. Loveless taunts them about Rita and his plans, before seizing control of the train and escaping. West and Gordon are left frustrated and trapped, adding to the suspenseful atmosphere.

Strengths

Intense action
Suspenseful atmosphere
Engaging dialogue
High stakes

Weaknesses

Some cliched elements in the confrontation with the antagonist

General Critique

The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, with characters reacting to Loveless's taunts without a clear plan of action.
The dialogue between Loveless, West, and Gordon feels forced and lacks depth, relying too heavily on cliched villainous monologues.
The tension and suspense in the scene are not effectively built up, making the confrontation with Loveless feel anticlimactic.
The introduction of the Loveless Experimental Camp for Political Dissidents feels contrived and out of place, detracting from the main conflict.
The transition between the characters on the train and those in the cornfield is abrupt and disjointed, making it difficult for the audience to follow the action.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify the characters' motivations and goals in the scene to create a more engaging conflict.
Revise the dialogue to make it more natural and reflective of the characters' personalities and relationships.
Build up the tension and suspense leading to the confrontation with Loveless to create a more impactful climax.
Consider removing the subplot of the Loveless Experimental Camp to streamline the narrative and focus on the main conflict.
Improve the transition between the different locations and characters to ensure a smooth flow of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is action-packed, suspenseful, and filled with high stakes, making it engaging and thrilling for the audience.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene involving an escape attempt, confrontation with the antagonist, and the introduction of dangerous technology is well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced significantly with the characters facing a new challenge and the stakes being raised as they try to escape and confront Loveless.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces unique technological elements and character dynamics, adding originality to the familiar genre of action-adventure.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters show determination, defiance, and fear in the face of danger, adding depth to their personalities.

Character Changes: 7

The characters show resilience and determination in the face of danger, showcasing some growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal is to protect Rita and defeat Loveless, reflecting his desire for justice and protection of the innocent.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to stop Loveless from escaping with their train, reflecting the immediate challenge they are facing.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high with the characters facing imminent danger and a powerful antagonist.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Loveless presenting a significant challenge to the protagonists.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high with the characters' lives in danger and a powerful antagonist threatening their survival.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new challenges, raising the stakes, and setting up the next phase of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions of the characters and the introduction of new technological elements.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict is evident in Loveless' belief in his own superiority and West's determination to defeat him, challenging their beliefs about power and strength.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes fear, tension, and determination in the characters, creating an emotional impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense, dramatic, and reveals the characters' motivations and emotions effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension and momentum throughout.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 7

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 7

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear action and dialogue sequences.

126 EXT. CORNFIELD - DISC LAUNCHER - DAY 126

The second disc machine light turns green and the second
disc is launched.

127 EXT. CORNFIELD - WANDERER BACK PLATFORM - MOVING - DAY 127

Loveless is laughing his head off. Certain of Gordon's
and West's impending death, he rolls his wheelchair
inside.
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 77.

A128 INT. WANDERER - RITA A128

is awakening from the effects of the billiard ball gas
and tries to control her sense of dread and loathing.
She smiles nervously at Loveless, who's being fawned-over
by his women.

MUNITIA
Caviar...?

LIPPENREIDER
Blini...?

LOVELESS
(opening champagne
bottle)
Rita, my dear, not that I'm
ungrateful to Providence for
bringing you back to me...

Rita jumps as the champagne CORK POPS.

LOVELESS
... I'm just a wee bit curious as
to how you managed to wind up with
them.

RITA
(scrambling)
Well, they uh... seemed so... sure
that they could find you... and I
thought if I stayed with them...
they'd lead me back to... all my
friends...

Munitia shoots a look at Lippenreider.

RITA
And not to give you a big head
but...
(wrinkles her nose
to Loveless)
I kinda missed you.

LOVELESS
(not buying it)
Isn't that a coincidence? I miss
me, too.

128 EXT. CORNFIELD - WEST AND GORDON - DAY 128

come running TOWARD us. Behind and above are two discs
about to make a dive at them.

(CONTINUED)
78.

128 CONTINUED: 128

The discs, like giant razors, are mowing off the tops of
the corn stalks, heading straight for their heads!

West and Gordon dive to the ground... the discs just
missing them. West stands to run again. We see the back
of his head's been buzzed.

129 EXT. CORNFIELD - AERIAL SHOT - WEST AND GORDON - DAY 129

running a zigzag pattern toward the end of the cornfield.
West sees a gully fifty yards ahead of them.

GORDON
Head for that gully!

West zigs out of the cornfield one way. Gordon zags out
the other. They're both beat-up and exhausted from
running and flopping on the ground.

130 EXT. RIVER CANYON NEAR CORNFIELD - GORDON - DAY 130

breathlessly reaches the edge. And looks down.

131 EXT. RIVER CANYON - GORDON'S POV - DAY 131

It's no gully. It's a canyon that drops 100 feet down
to a ribbon of brown water. And that's not the worst of
it...

132 EXT. RIVER CANYON NEAR CORNFIELD - DAY 132

West is on the other side of the precipice. They're
separated by about 15 feet of air.

They both see the discs closing in. Think fast.

WEST
When I give the signal. Jump off
the cliff into my arms.

GORDON
Are you crazy?! Do you see what's
down there?

WEST
(watching the discs
approach)
Five, four, three, two...

West holds out his arms.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 79.

132 CONTINUED: 132

GORDON
Forget it. I'm not doing it...

WEST
One...

West takes a leap of faith... and finally, so does
Gordon.

GORDON
Oh shit!

CLOSE - PARTNERS

meeting mid-air. They drop OUT OF FRAME, just as... the
two discs collide with a MIGHTY EXPLOSION that is heard
by...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Western
Tone: Tense, Humorous, Exciting, Suspenseful

Summary As West and Gordon flee through a cornfield, deadly discs are launched towards them. They narrowly dodge the first attack and head towards a supposed gully, only to discover it's a treacherous canyon. Separated by a perilous distance, West devises a daring plan. With the discs closing in, they leap from the cliff's edge into each other's arms, narrowly avoiding the discs' collision and escaping imminent death.

Strengths

Intense action sequences
Engaging dialogue
High stakes and tension
Emotional depth and character development

Weaknesses

Some cliched elements in the dialogue
Predictable outcome of the mid-air rescue

General Critique

The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, with characters running aimlessly through a cornfield without a clear objective or conflict resolution.
The dialogue between Loveless, Rita, and his women feels forced and lacks depth, failing to add any meaningful development to the characters or the plot.
The visual description of the discs mowing off the corn stalks and heading for West and Gordon's heads is overly dramatic and unrealistic, detracting from the overall believability of the scene.
The abrupt transition from Rita's interaction with Loveless to West and Gordon running through the cornfield is jarring and disrupts the flow of the scene.
The lack of a clear resolution or climax in this scene leaves the audience feeling unsatisfied and confused about the purpose of the characters' actions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify the objective and stakes of the scene to give the characters a clear goal to work towards.
Develop the dialogue between Loveless, Rita, and his women to add depth and complexity to their interactions, providing insight into their motivations and relationships.
Reconsider the visual description of the discs mowing off the corn stalks to make it more realistic and grounded in the context of the story.
Smooth out the transition between Rita's interaction with Loveless and West and Gordon running through the cornfield to maintain a cohesive narrative flow.
Introduce a clear resolution or climax to the scene to provide a sense of closure and progression in the overall story.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a perfect blend of action, humor, and suspense. The stakes are high, the conflict is intense, and the emotional impact is significant.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using disc launchers as a weapon, the daring mid-air rescue, and the high-stakes escape attempt are innovative and well-executed, adding depth and excitement to the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed, with the characters facing a life-threatening situation and trying to outsmart the villain. The tension builds effectively, leading to a thrilling climax.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as the disc launcher and the cliff jump, adding fresh twists to the action genre. The characters' dialogue feels authentic and adds depth to the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters show courage, wit, and determination in the face of danger. Their interactions and decisions drive the action forward and keep the audience invested in their fate.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo a significant challenge and must adapt to survive. Their actions and decisions in the scene reveal new facets of their personalities and deepen their relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

Rita's internal goal is to survive and escape from Loveless' clutches, reflecting her fear and desire for freedom.

External Goal: 7

West and Gordon's external goal is to evade the giant discs and survive the dangerous situation they are in.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is intense and multi-layered, with the characters facing physical danger, emotional turmoil, and moral dilemmas. The stakes are high, and the outcome is uncertain.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing life-threatening challenges and making difficult decisions.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are incredibly high, with the characters' lives on the line and the fate of the mission hanging in the balance. The tension is palpable, and the outcome is crucial for the overall story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by escalating the conflict, revealing new information, and setting up the next stage of the characters' journey. It keeps the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected cliff jump and the collision of the discs, adding a sense of danger and surprise.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict is between Loveless' power-hungry and manipulative nature and Rita's desire for independence and freedom.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes fear, excitement, and suspense in the audience. The characters' struggles and sacrifices resonate emotionally, creating a powerful connection with the viewer.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp and engaging, with moments of humor and tension. It effectively conveys the characters' personalities and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, fast-paced action, and witty dialogue that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action and character moments that keep the momentum going.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard screenplay formatting, making it easy to visualize the action and dialogue.

Structure: 7

The scene follows a typical action sequence structure, with escalating tension and a cliffhanger moment.

133 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - DAY 133

Loveless raises his glass to Rita, makes a little kissing
gesture. She looks like she'd like to kill herself.

134 OMITTED 134

135 EXT. RIVER CANYON NEAR CORNFIELD - WEST AND GORDON - DAY 135

are still in mid-air, both looking down.

GORDON
I just remembered... I can't swim!

WEST
You won't have to!

They drop OUT OF FRAME and we hear a LOUD THUK THUK.

136 EXT. BOTTOM OF RIVER CANYON - WEST AND GORDON - DAY 136

stuck up to their necks in red riverbed mud. As they
slowly begin to extricate themselves...

WEST
Maybe I should have stayed inside
that fence another moment or two.

CUT TO:
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 79A.

A137 EXT. STREAM - DUSK A137

West and Gordon, caked in mud, are coming up a ridge,
below which is a stream.

WEST
All right, Gordon, what's your
plan? How are you gonna get this
damn thing off my neck?

Gordon turns to West, simmering, controlling himself.

GORDON
Excuse me?

WEST
Isn't that why you're here?
'Cause you're the master of,
you know, mechanical stuff?

GORDON
(smiles)
Oh. Oh, I see. Now I'm the master
of... 'mechanical stuff.' As opposed
to five minutes ago, when I was trying
to collect my thoughts and figure
out a way to get us out of these
contraptions! But no!

Gordon starts moving towards West, who is forced to back
up -- looking a tad nervous for the first time in the
movie.

GORDON
-- That wouldn't have been any
fun for a certain somebody, and I
won't mention any names -- Jim
West! -- who decided to take me on
a bracing romp through a cornfield
and play a fanciful game of hide
and seek with serrated, spinning
death discs, while our only mode
of transportation is in the hands
of a sadistic madman with weapons
of mass destruction, who kidnapped
Rita, and is on his way to kill
our President and take over the
country!

WEST
Hey, calm down, Gordon...

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/97 79B.

A137 CONTINUED: A137

GORDON
(he's completely
lost it)
No! Because I'm the 'Master of
Mechanical Stuff!' And I have to
help YOU! Because you're the
'Master of Stupid Stuff!'

WEST
Gordon...

GORDON
You want to get that collar off?
Fine! Let's do it the fun, Jim
West way!
(picks up a rock)
Let's bash it with a rock!

WEST
Gordon, you don't want to do that.

GORDON
(crazy)
Oh, but I do.

Gordon grabs a rock and smashes West's collar.
Suddenly --

ZIIIINNG! West's collar emits a LOW HUM. Suddenly,
West is thrown into Gordon, their collars locking.
CLANG!

GORDON
(suddenly calm)
That's odd. What did you do?

WEST
I didn't do shit!

GORDON
No, you must've reversed the
polarity of the magnets.

WEST
I did not do shit!
(he's had enough)
That's it --

West lifts his leg to Gordon's collar to push him
away, but then -- CLANG! The stiletto in his shoe
dislodges and instantly sticks to Gordon's magnetic
collar.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 79C.

A137 CONTINUED: (2) A137

For a mega-millisecond, West -- his foot stuck to his
partner's neck -- is stunned. But before he knows what
even happened, West flips upside down onto his shoulders.

GORDON
Are you all right?

WEST
Oh, I'm peachey. Now help me get
my boot off!

First, Gordon -- trying to get some leverage -- puts his
foot in West's crotch and pulls the boot.

WEST
Ahhhh!

GORDON
Apologies, apologies.

Gordon struggles to free the writhing West from the boot
(attached to Gordon's collar).

Finally, West's foot comes free. But when he sits up
-- THWAP! His collar is sucked into Gordon's belt buckle.
West is face to face with his partner's crotch.

WEST
Do me a favor. When you're
telling this story to your
grandkids, leave this part out.

GORDON
Don't worry.

West starts unbuttoning Gordon's belt.

WEST
Now, when I undo your belt,
I'm going to run as fast as I
can that way, and you run as
fast as you can the other way.
Understand?

GORDON
You're going to run as fast as
you can one way and I'm going to
run as fast as I can the other...?
Ingenious.

WEST
One... two...
(undos belt)
Three!

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 79D.

A137 CONTINUED: (3) A137

The men run in opposite directions. (Gordon's belt on
West's collar, West's boot on Gordon's). They get about
thirty, forty yards. Then --

They're yanked backwards into each other.

SPLASH! They fall in the water -- back to back. Every
time one rolls up and catches his breath, the other is
under water.

WEST
(rolling face up)
Get off me, you steaming pile of
(GURGLE)!

GORDON
(rolling face up)
I'm trying, you son of a (GURGLE)!

WEST
(rolling face upGURGLE) you!

GORDON
(rolling face upGURGLE) yourself!

Finally they roll out of the stream and onto dry land.
They sit up, out of breath, stuck together, back to back.

WEST
I do not want to spend the rest
of my life looking like a meatball
on a plate.

GORDON
We're going to have to discuss
bathroom etiquette soon. Very
soon.

ANGLE ON TOOL KIT

bobbing in the stream. Gordon grabs it out of the water.

GORDON
Aha. My auxiliary tool kit.
I forgot all about it. It must've
slipped out of my pocket.

WEST
Your pocket? Why wasn't it
attached to some spring-loaded
something-or-other that shoots
out of your ass?

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/97 79E.

A137 CONTINUED: (4) A137

GORDON
Because that, my friend, would be
uncomfortable.

CUT TO:

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Frantic, Sarcastic

Summary Trapped in metal exosuits, Jim West and Artemus Gordon descend into a canyon. Amidst escalating tensions, they battle with their constraints. Gordon's rage triggers a magnetic mishap, linking their collars. After a violent struggle, they emerge from a river still attached. Despite their plight, Gordon secures his toolkit, leaving them with a glimmer of hope.

Strengths

Humorous dialogue
Dynamic character interactions
Creative use of magnetic mishaps

Weaknesses

Lack of emotional depth
Limited character development

General Critique

The scene starts with a lot of physical action and tension, which is engaging for the audience. However, the dialogue between West and Gordon becomes a bit repetitive and could be more dynamic to keep the scene moving forward.
The conflict between West and Gordon is clear, but it could be more nuanced to add depth to their relationship and the situation they are in.
The humor in the scene is a bit forced and could be more natural to enhance the comedic elements.
The resolution of the scene, with West and Gordon stuck back to back, feels a bit cliched and could be more creatively resolved.
The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the action and setting.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more layers to the conflict between West and Gordon to make their dynamic more interesting.
Work on making the dialogue more dynamic and engaging to keep the audience invested in the scene.
Explore different ways to resolve the situation of West and Gordon being stuck together to add a unique twist.
Focus on enhancing the visual elements of the scene to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Consider adding more depth to the humor in the scene to make it more organic and impactful.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is highly entertaining, filled with humor, action, and character dynamics that keep the audience engaged.

Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of the magnetic collars and boots adds a fun and unique element to the scene, creating comedic situations and highlighting the characters' personalities.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as West and Gordon try to free themselves from the magnetic collars and boots, adding tension and humor to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene features a fresh approach to a familiar situation, with unique character dynamics and comedic elements that set it apart from typical action-comedy scenes. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of West and Gordon shine in this scene, showcasing their personalities, humor, and dynamic relationship.

Character Changes: 4

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, it does highlight the characters' personalities and their ability to work together.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal is to maintain his cool and control the situation, despite the chaos and challenges he faces. This reflects his need to appear competent and in charge.

External Goal: 9

The external goal is to remove the collars that are stuck on West and Gordon, which reflects the immediate challenge they are facing and the need to escape their predicament.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict arises from the characters' struggle to free themselves from the magnetic collars and boots, adding tension and humor.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing physical challenges and comedic obstacles that add to the unpredictability and humor of the situation.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes are not extremely high in this scene, but the characters' predicament adds tension and urgency to their situation.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the characters' resourcefulness and teamwork in overcoming obstacles.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and the comedic outcomes of their attempts to solve their problem.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between West's impulsive, action-oriented approach and Gordon's more methodical, strategic thinking. This challenges West's belief in his own abilities and highlights the importance of teamwork and cooperation.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 5

The scene focuses more on humor and action than emotional depth, but the characters' frustration and camaraderie evoke some emotional connection.

Dialogue: 8

The witty and sarcastic dialogue between West and Gordon adds humor and depth to the scene, enhancing the character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and comedic moments that keep the audience entertained and invested in the characters' predicament.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a fast pace that keeps the audience engaged and entertained, while also allowing for moments of tension and humor to shine.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution that drive the narrative forward.

137 EXT. DESERT - NIGHT 137

Gordon, lips parched, clothes tattered, peers impatiently
over the metal collar as West works on it with some lock
picks. West's collar is already off.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 09/03/98 80.

137 CONTINUED: 137

WEST
Why didn't you tell me you had an
'auxiliary' tool kit?

GORDON
I did tell you, but in your zeal
to run and leap off a two-hundred-
foot cliff, I don't think you
heard me.

West eats the grilled Gila monster voraciously. And
eats. And enjoys it more. And eats. He notices Gordon
watching him.

WEST
What?!

Gordon looks to the heavens and recites.

GORDON
'... Take physic, pomp; Expose
thyself to feel what wretches
feel, That thou mayst shake the
superflux to them, And show the
heavens more just.'

Gordon's quote has gone on. And on. And on. He notices
West watching him.

GORDON
What?!

WEST
You know, Gordon, you can be quite
annoying -- flaunting that fancy
education.

GORDON
Well, truth be told, I never had a
fancy education -- not a formal
one, anyway.

WEST
(looks at Gordon's
ring)
The Harvard thing seems pretty
formal to me.

GORDON
This ring? This ring isn't real.
Do you want it?
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 09/03/98 80A.

137 CONTINUED: (2) 137

GORDON (CONT'D)
(takes ring off and
tosses it into fire)
A prop. I'm an actor. Or was. I
gave it up. I went by the name of
Arthur Gordon. Ever hear of me?

WEST
No. How did you wind up in this
line of work?

GORDON
The pinnacle of my life in the
theater came in a production of
Our American Cousin -- a light
comedy -- at Ford's Theater in
Washington. There was this one
line I had... always got the
biggest laugh in the show. One
night, it drowned out the
gunshot that killed President
Lincoln.
(beat)
I decided to devote my talents to
making sure that never happened
again.

CLOSE - TARANTULA

walks slowly across West's outstretched hand.

GORDON
Uh... There's a spider on your
hand. Doesn't that bother you?

WEST
She doesn't want any trouble.
She's just trying to get warm.

He puts the spider down into the sand.

GORDON
How come you know so much about
the desert, anyway?

WEST
The Indians taught me. I lived
out here when I was a boy.

Gordon starts to ask West something but West doesn't want
him to pry further.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 09/03/98 81/82.

137 CONTINUED: (3) 137

WEST
Hey -- watch --

He points toward a small black wasp flying from above.

WEST
The desert wasp... one of the
world's great hunters. She'll
kill the tarantula -- and lay her
eggs on it, so her babies can have
something to eat.

GORDON
Now I'm really hungry.
(beat)
How did your parents, who I assume
were Negroes, feel about you being
raised by Indians?

WEST
They didn't have much to say about
it. I was sent to another
plantation when I was little. Ran
away as soon as my legs were
strong enough to take me.

West can see the effect his story has had on Gordon.

GORDON
Did you ever see your family
again?

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 8/28/98 83.

137 CONTINUED: (4) 137

WEST
Yeah...
(stands, kicks
out fire)
They were at the camp at New
Liberty.

Now they both stare into the fire. Finally Gordon
speaks.

GORDON
I'll help you get him, Jim.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Reflective, Informative

Summary In the desert night, Gordon's impatience and West's teasing give way to somber revelations. Gordon confesses his former life as an actor, while West shares his tragic past as a runaway slave seeking vengeance. Their campfire exchange deepens their bond, leading Gordon to vow assistance in West's quest for retribution.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Character development
Tension and suspense

Weaknesses

Some parts may feel slow-paced

General Critique

The dialogue between West and Gordon feels a bit forced and unnatural, especially Gordon's long recitation of Shakespeare. It could be more effective if the dialogue was more concise and to the point.
The transition from Gordon revealing his past as an actor to West talking about the desert and his upbringing feels abrupt and disjointed. The scene could benefit from a smoother transition between these topics.
The interaction between West and Gordon about the spider on West's hand feels out of place and doesn't add much to the overall scene. It could be replaced with a more meaningful exchange between the characters.
The backstory provided by West about his upbringing by Indians and his family could be more impactful if it was integrated more seamlessly into the conversation with Gordon.
The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose, with the dialogue and interactions feeling disconnected and disjointed.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider streamlining the dialogue to make it more natural and engaging for the audience.
Work on creating a smoother transition between different topics and character interactions to improve the flow of the scene.
Focus on including dialogue and interactions that contribute to character development and advance the plot in a meaningful way.
Integrate West's backstory more organically into the conversation with Gordon to make it more impactful and relevant to the scene.
Clarify the purpose and direction of the scene to ensure that each interaction and piece of dialogue serves a clear narrative function.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, with a good balance of action, character development, and suspense. The dialogue is well-written and reveals important information about the characters.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of two characters trapped in metal exosuits in a survival situation in the desert is unique and adds tension to the scene.

Plot: 7

The plot moves forward with the characters trying to escape their predicament and having a deep conversation about their pasts.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters, historical references, and unexpected twists, adding originality to the familiar survival scenario.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with their vulnerabilities and motivations explored in depth.

Character Changes: 8

Both characters undergo a change as they reveal more about themselves and their motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

Gordon's internal goal in this scene is to reveal his true identity and past to West, showing vulnerability and a desire for connection. This reflects his need for acceptance and understanding.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to work together with West to remove the metal collar, symbolizing their need to escape and survive in the desert.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is internal conflict between the two main characters as they navigate their predicament and have a deep conversation.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the characters' conflicting backgrounds and goals, creating tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters are trapped in a dangerous situation and must work together to escape.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the relationship between the two main characters and revealing important information.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its character revelations and unexpected twists, keeping the audience engaged.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' different backgrounds and experiences, highlighting themes of identity, survival, and redemption.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a high emotional impact as the characters reveal their vulnerabilities and past traumas.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the characters' backgrounds and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the dynamic interactions between the characters, the revelation of personal stories, and the survival elements.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension, revealing information gradually, and maintaining audience interest.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with dialogue-driven interactions and character development, fitting the genre expectations.

138 EXT. UTAH - DESERT - MORNING 138

West and Gordon trudge through an endless sand dune,
side by side, chests out, jaws set. They're partners,
goddammit!

GORDON
You have no idea where you're
going, do you?

WEST
I know exactly where I'm goin'
... Spider Canyon.

Gordon stops to catch his breath.

WEST
(stops, looks back)
But I'm never gonna get there
with you draggin' that damn
thing around!

Now we see Gordon's got the heavy metal collar in his hand.
West grabs him and they start to walk away -- Gordon
listing noticeably.

GORDON
While a magneto of this power
may not inspire your scientific
curiosity, it does mine. Besides,
you never know when it might come
in handy.

Gordon suddenly disappears OUT OF FRAME. West stops
to see what's happened to his partner now...

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 8/28/98 84.

138 CONTINUED: 138

ANGLE - GORDON

He's on his back, arm holding the metal doughnut
straight out over his head, being dragged across the
desert floor by some unseen force.

Gordon snowplows backwards through the sand for 40 feet,
finally coming to an abrupt stop with a metallic klang!

West deadpans this bit of insanity, walks over, and with
the toe of his boot, uncovers the explanation -- iron
railroad tracks covered by drifting sand.

WEST
Arte... when you're right, you're
right.

GORDON
Well I think our partnership is
taking a big step forward. You
finally admitted I was right about
something.

West helps him up. Then, as or two heroes follow the
tracks into the distance... towards Spider Canyon...

GORDON
Now... how about admitting you
were lost?

WEST
Don't push it.

139 EXT. SPIDER CANYON RIM - DAY (LATER) 139

West and Gordon trudge past the Wanderer. It's parked
at the end of the line, looks deserted.

GORDON
Jim, I know I've hallucinated
it several times before, so is
that really the Wanderer?

WEST
That's the Wanderer.

Gordon seems relieved to know his beloved train is not
another mirage. They continue on to the rim of the
canyon, peer over the edge. Reacting to what they see...

GORDON
And would it be too much to
hope that I'm simply seeing a
World's Fair down there... ?
(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 8/28/98 85.

139 CONTINUED: 139

WEST
Yeah, it would. That's Loveless'
Lair.

140 EXT. SPIDER CANYON - POV FROM RIM - DAY 140

A natural bowl that appears to have been made by a
meteor, is gouged out of the desert floor. In the bowl
are several spectacular Victorian-style buildings made
almost entirely of glass, plus a huge silo. Ant-sized
figures are moving around.

141 OMITTED 141

142 EXT. SPIDER CANYON - DAY 142

Now they hear a strange sound. To modern ears, a WHINE
as from a jet engine. Loveless appears in the f.g. He's
rising on a steel platform as if on some unseen elevator.
Up, up, up he goes... as now more of the contraption comes
INTO VIEW. Alloy girders, multi-levels, control boards...
all open in an Eiffel Tower-like effect.

West and Gordon scramble for cover behind a rock as a
giant metal Tarantula steps over the rim in full
terrifying glory. Eight legs, five stories high.

The thorax of the giant spider bristles with Gatling guns
and all manner of weaponry. As the shadow of the monster
passes over their faces...

GORDON
Now that's impressive.

WEST
Nice to see an invention that
actually works.

143 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DAY 143

Loveless is sitting in a captain's seat 60 feet in the
air. He's surrounded by his adoring crew Amazonia,
Munitia and Lippenreider. He spreads his arms wide,
world at his feet.
86.

144 EXT. SPIDER CANYON RIM - ANGLE - GORDON AND WEST - DAY 144

They watch the Tarantula head toward a narrow opening
between two red-rock outcroppings.

GORDON
(dismissive)
We'll see about that. The fool
doesn't even realize he's trapped.

145 EXT. MESAS NEAR SPIDER CANYON RIM - DAY 145

Suddenly... a VOLLEY OF CANNON FIRE EXPLODES the
impediment to dust. The Tarantula marches on.

146 OMITTED 146
& &
147 147

148 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR (STOPPED) - DAY 148

West is dressing for battle. He straps his six guns
on his hips, flips the pool table over, grabs a coach
gun, tucks that behind his chaps.

He belts on his shotgun shell bandolero. An extra six
gun gets tucked in the belt. Another in his boot.
Pocketfuls of shells. The man's ready for war.

WEST
Gordon, let's ride!
(pause)
You do know how to ride...?

He sticks his head through the door to...

149 INT. WANDERER - LAB CAR (STOPPED) - DAY 149

Gordon's Nitro-cycle is out. Gordon fusses with it and
some canvas.

WEST
... A horse, I mean.

GORDON
(distracted)
Yes... I know how to ride a horse.
When the situation calls for
something primitive.

(CONTINUED)
87.

149 CONTINUED: 149

WEST
How about now? There's a big
spider stompin' towards our
President!

But Gordon won't be hurried. He has a big book out,
studies it, then looks back to his Nitro-cycle.

GORDON
I was just thinking about another
spider. Remember in the desert,
when that little wasp killed the
tarantula...?

West rolls his eyes impatiently.

WEST
Yeah. Well, the wasp had a small
advantage. It could fly.

GORDON
Exactly!

Gordon excitedly shows the book to West. Pictured is an
archaic sepia diagram of a weird aircraft. West looks at
it in disbelief as Gordon prattles on manically.

GORDON
In 1540, Leonardo Da Vinci
invented a flying machine called
the 'Ornithopter.' Though he
never actually flew it...

West's heard enough. He grabs Gordon, shakes him.

WEST
Artemus! There's no time for
plans or half-cocked inventions!
They don't work. We gotta stick
to what we're each good at!

As West drags Gordon to the wardrobe...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Humorous, Exciting, Suspenseful

Summary In the desert, West and Gordon argue about a metal collar until Gordon disappears, being dragged by it over a buried railroad track. They see Loveless's lair and a giant metal tarantula in Spider Canyon. They plan to use an ornithopter to defeat it.

Strengths

Dynamic between West and Gordon
Humorous dialogue
High-stakes confrontation

Weaknesses

Lack of significant character development
Some cliched elements

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the imminent threat of the giant metal Tarantula approaching Spider Canyon.
The dialogue between West and Gordon feels a bit disjointed and lacks the intensity needed for a scene where they are facing a formidable enemy.
Gordon's distraction with his Nitro-cycle and the historical reference to Leonardo Da Vinci's flying machine detract from the urgency of the situation and the impending danger.
The transition from Gordon's excitement about the Ornithopter to West's abrupt realization that there's no time for plans or inventions feels a bit forced and could be smoother.
The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions of the approaching Tarantula and the sense of impending doom to heighten the stakes.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Add more tension and urgency to the scene by emphasizing the imminent threat of the Tarantula and the need for quick action.
Streamline the dialogue to focus on the immediate danger and the plan of action to confront the Tarantula.
Consider removing or condensing the distraction with the Nitro-cycle and historical references to maintain a sense of urgency.
Ensure a smoother transition between Gordon's excitement about the Ornithopter and West's realization of the need for immediate action.
Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more vivid and intense atmosphere as the Tarantula approaches Spider Canyon.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is action-packed, humorous, and sets up a high-stakes confrontation with a unique and visually striking element (the Tarantula). The banter between West and Gordon adds depth and humor to the scene.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a showdown at Spider Canyon with a giant metal Tarantula as a weapon is innovative and engaging. The scene effectively sets up the climax of the story.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as the heroes confront Loveless and his Tarantula, setting up the final showdown. The scene is crucial for building tension and setting the stage for the climax.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a mix of historical figures like Leonardo Da Vinci and futuristic inventions, adding a fresh twist to the traditional western genre. The characters' dialogue and actions feel authentic and entertaining.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of West and Gordon are well-developed and their banter adds depth and humor to the scene. Loveless is portrayed as a formidable villain.

Character Changes: 6

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, the dynamic between West and Gordon evolves as they face a formidable challenge together.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal is to maintain his independence and prove his competence to his partner, Gordon.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to reach Spider Canyon and confront the villain, Loveless.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict as the heroes face off against Loveless and his Tarantula, creating tension and suspense. The stakes are raised as they prepare for battle.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing a formidable villain and his invention, creating a sense of danger and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the heroes confront Loveless and his powerful weapon, the Tarantula. The outcome of this confrontation will have a significant impact on the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by setting up the final confrontation with Loveless and his Tarantula. It builds anticipation for the climax of the story.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable with the introduction of the giant metal Tarantula and the characters' unexpected reactions, adding suspense and intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between West's reliance on traditional methods and Gordon's inclination towards innovative inventions. This challenges their partnership dynamics and approaches to problem-solving.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions from excitement to humor to tension. The banter between West and Gordon adds a layer of emotional depth to the action.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reveals the personalities of the characters. It adds to the dynamic between West and Gordon and enhances the overall tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its mix of action, humor, and suspense, keeping the audience invested in the characters' journey and the impending confrontation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, alternating between action sequences and character interactions to maintain momentum and interest.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting aligns with the expected format for an action-adventure screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a buildup of tension, introduction of the villain's lair, and preparation for confrontation, fitting the action-adventure genre expectations.

150 EXT. DESERT (UTAH) - DAY 150

Two riders galloping TOWARD CAMERA. As they THUNDER
PAST, we see West is in the lead, jaw set. And right
behind him comes... President Grant...?! (It's Artemus
in disguise, of course. And he actually can ride a
horse.)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 6/15/98 88.

151 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - CLOSE ON GOLDEN SPIKE - DAY 151

being held in the stubby fingers of Ulysses S. Grant.
He's reading an inscription on it.

PRESIDENT GRANT (O.S.)
May God continue the unity of our
country...

CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal a crowd present to watch
President Grant knock in the famous spike. Behind him,
two train engines are facing each other. The detectives
scan the crowd for possible trouble.

PRESIDENT GRANT
... as this railroad unites the
two great oceans of this world.

Now he swings back the sledgehammer... but at the top of
his swing...

CLOSE - SPIKE

starts to shake, wiggle, and actually pop out of its
hole. Very curious. As it begins to hop on the ground,
bounced by a RESOUNDING THUMPING...

ANGLE ON GRANT AND CROWD

look across the desert to see...

152 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - LONG SHOT - DAY 152

The Tarantula in full view. People start screaming
in terror as it appears over a ridge, huge even at
this distance. The metal beast closes the 200-yard
distance in seconds.

The citizens flee. The detectives are not far behind
them. The soldiers take cover and ready their weapons.
Grant stands his ground... even as a huge FOOT CLOMPS
down in front of him, VIBRATING the CAMERA.

153 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DAY 153

Loveless talks into a microphone which BOOMS his
voice out through AMPLIFIED SPEAKERS.

(CONTINUED)
89.

153 CONTINUED: 153

LOVELESS
Well, isn't this a coincidence!
I'm out for a little mornin' ride,
and right in the middle of
nowhere, I bump into General
Ulysses S. Grant himself!
(leans over edge,
mocking salute)
We've never been properly
introduced. I'm Dr. Arliss
Loveless, formerly with the
Confederate Army.

154 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - DAY (INTERCUT WITH TARANTULA 154
BRIDGE)

Cool and collected, Grant lights a cigar.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Yes, Dr. Loveless, what can I do
for you today?
(to his military aides)
Flank him, left and right.

LOVELESS
I have a humble abode nearby, and
I hope you'll accept my
hospitality. I have a little
proposition to make.

PRESIDENT GRANT
What proposition is that?

LOVELESS
The unconditional and immediate
surrender of the United States of
America to the Loveless Alliance.

PRESIDENT GRANT
I didn't realize we were at war.

Loveless gives the nod to Munitia.

155 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - DAY 155

KABOOM! The CANNON blows the President's train to
smithereens.

156 EXT. TARANTULA BRIDGE - DAY 156

Loveless giggles.

(CONTINUED)
90.

156 CONTINUED: 156

LOVELESS
How about now...?

157 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - BEHIND OBLITERATED TRAIN - DAY 157

The crowd who'd taken refuge behind it runs away in
panic. All but one of them. A second President Grant
(Artemus Gordon). He calmly lights a cigar on the
flaming train, strides up to the other Grant, and
shouts up at Loveless.

GORDON/GRANT
In matters of war, the person to
talk to would be me.

If there's anyone more surprised than the President
himself it's...

158 EXT. TARANTULA BRIDGE - DAY (INTERCUT WITH PROMONTORY 158
POINT)

Loveless, squinting down at the two Grants. This new
wrinkle has also attracted the attention of the
Love-lettes and everyone else aboard.

LOVELESS
Now just who are you?

GORDON/GRANT
The President.
(turns to President,
snorts)
He's just an actor hired to stand
in for me on public occasions. A
very bad actor, I must say... a
little puffy and overweight.

As the President eyes him, puffs on his cigar,
Gordon/Grant apes his every move, bigger, mockingly.

PRESIDENT GRANT
(aside)
Gordon, you've got a lot of brass.
Where's West?

GORDON
You know him, sir...

Gordon/Grant shifts his eyes toward...

159 OMITTED 159
91.

160 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - REAR OF TARANTULA - DAY 160

West running undetected to the rear leg. As the lone
cowboy starts to climb up toward the belly of the beast...

161 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - TWO GRANTS - DAY 161

Gordon/Grant turns to an Army officer, standing behind.

GORDON/GRANT
(loudly)
Captain, get this man out of my
sight! And next time get me a
real actor!

As the bewildered captain starts to lead the President
away...

162 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DAY 162

Loveless has had enough.

LOVELESS
Take them both!!!

Munitia, manning a sort of cannon, takes a bead on
the two Grants. She pulls the trigger...

163 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - TWO GRANTS - DAY 163

... and a sticky white silk shoots out covering both
Grants with spider web material.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Well, Gordon... was this part of
your plan?

GORDON
I'm by your side, sir. That's
what's important.

Now Munitia hits a lever and they're hoisted up off the
ground. They only get a couple of feet when... BLAM!
West shoots the mechanism and it jerks to a stop.

All eyes turn to the source of the sharpshooting...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Tense, Dramatic, Humorous

Summary Artemus Gordon, posing as President Grant, arrives at Promontory Point in disguise. Meanwhile, the real President Grant and his entourage are ambushed by the Tarantula and taken hostage. Loveless demands the surrender of the United States, but Gordon/Grant challenges his authority. Gordon/Grant distracts the guards while West shoots the mechanism that would have lifted them off the ground, saving them from being captured by Loveless.

Strengths

Engaging action
Innovative concept with the giant tarantula
Sharp dialogue and humor

Weaknesses

Some elements may be over-the-top or unrealistic

General Critique

The scene starts with a dramatic entrance of West and President Grant riding towards the camera, creating confusion as to who the real President Grant is.
The dialogue between Loveless and President Grant lacks depth and complexity, making it feel superficial and lacking tension.
The sudden appearance of the Tarantula and the ensuing chaos feels rushed and lacks build-up, diminishing the impact of the threat.
The interaction between Gordon/Grant and President Grant is comical but feels forced and unrealistic, detracting from the seriousness of the situation.
The action sequence with Munitia shooting the sticky white silk at the two Grants feels contrived and lacks suspense or excitement.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Add more depth and tension to the dialogue between Loveless and President Grant to make the scene more engaging.
Build up the appearance of the Tarantula to create a sense of impending danger and increase the impact of its arrival.
Ensure that the interactions between characters, especially the comedic moments, feel natural and organic within the context of the scene.
Enhance the action sequence with Munitia to make it more suspenseful and thrilling, adding elements of danger and urgency.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, with a good balance of action, humor, and tension. The introduction of the giant tarantula and the unexpected appearance of a second President Grant add intrigue and excitement.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using a giant metal tarantula as a weapon is innovative and adds a unique twist to the typical action scene. The deception involving the two Grants also adds complexity and interest to the plot.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed, with multiple layers of deception, action, and conflict. The introduction of the tarantula as a weapon raises the stakes and propels the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique element with the mechanical spider and blends historical figures with fictional characters in a fresh way. The dialogue and character dynamics feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters, especially President Grant, Loveless, and the two detectives, are well-defined and play off each other effectively. The humor and tension in their interactions add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions and conflicts between the characters reveal more about their personalities and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect President Grant and prevent the unconditional surrender of the United States to the Loveless Alliance. This reflects his deeper desire to uphold his duty and loyalty to his country.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to defeat Loveless and his plan to take over the United States. This reflects the immediate challenge and threat he is facing.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between President Grant, Loveless, and the detectives is intense and high-stakes, with deception and action driving the tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the threat of the Loveless Alliance and the mechanical spider creating tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The high-stakes confrontation between President Grant, Loveless, and the detectives, along with the threat of the giant tarantula, raises the stakes and adds urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, with the introduction of the tarantula weapon and the escalating conflict between the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected appearance of the mechanical spider and the twist with the two President Grants.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between loyalty to one's country and personal survival. President Grant must navigate the decision to surrender or fight back, while the protagonist must balance duty and self-preservation.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes fear, confusion, and defiance in the characters, adding emotional depth to the action and conflict.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp and witty, with moments of humor and tension. The banter between the characters adds to the dynamic of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes conflict.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspense that keeps the audience engaged.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with escalating tension and action sequences, fitting the genre of action-adventure.

164 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - TARANTULA LEG - DAY 164

West has almost reached the lowest deck. Now all the
firepower of the Tarantula is trained on him.
92.

165 EXT. TARANTULA - VARIOUS SHOTS - DAY 165

Amazonia's on the Gatling gun. Munitia and several other
goons on lower decks OPEN UP on West, too.

166 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - TARANTULA LEG - DAY 166

West takes cover behind the steel girders, SIX-GUNS
BLAZING. All his GUNS BLAZING.

167 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - DAY 167

But West's bullets, as well as the Union soldiers'
covering FIRE, PING harmlessly against the Tarantula's
ALLOY SKIN.

A168 ANGLE ON BRIDGE - LOVELESS A168

grows impatient with the gun battle. He pulls a lever.

168 OMITTED 168
& &
169 169

170 ANGLE - WEST 170

Down below, nozzles on the Tarantula's legs suddenly
ERUPT in clouds of skin-scalding STEAM. West screams
in pain and falls... 30 feet...

171 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - DAY 171

... to the ground, his head hitting a rock. As the two
Grants witness it THROUGH the sticky spider ball...

DISSOLVE TO:

172 EXT. LOVELESS'S LAIR - AMPHITHEATER - DUSK 172

Loveless, wearing a black tunic festooned with medals
and a Prussian-style helmet with a horse hair plume,
raises his arms Nixon-like as a band plays a flourish.

LOVELESS
Bonjour, buenas tardes and good
day! Great glorious day! A day
of healing for the wrongs that
have been done to us all!

(CONTINUED)
93.

172 CONTINUED: 172

Framed by a large flag featuring the spider emblem, he
looks out from center stage of a Greek theater at the
crowd of foreign dignitaries seated around him.

LOVELESS
... Oh, how long have we waited!

ANGLE - AMAZONIA, MUNITIA AND LIPPENREIDER

dressed in tight Fascist-brown tankwear, rise from their
seats and applaud. The only people not applauding are a
row of haggard, bearded scientists and the manacled
prisoners Gordon (sans disguise), Rita, Grant and
Coleman.

LOVELESS
(looks to
Englishman)
... 1776, wasn't it, old bean?
Most expensive cup o' tea in
history...!

As the Englishman dignitary nods soberly...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western, Sci-Fi
Tone: Intense, Dramatic, Suspenseful, Humorous

Summary As West fights back on the Tarantula Leg, Loveless activates the steam nozzles, forcing West to fall and hit his head. Loveless appears in an amphitheater, wearing a fascist uniform and medals, while West lies defeated on the ground.

Strengths

Intense action sequences
Complex characters with conflicting motivations
High-stakes conflict
Sharp and witty dialogue

Weaknesses

Some elements may be overly complex for casual viewers
Certain plot points may require suspension of disbelief

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension despite the high stakes and the firepower of the Tarantula being trained on West.
The action sequences could be more dynamic and engaging to keep the audience on the edge of their seats.
The dialogue is minimal and does not add much depth to the scene or the characters involved.
The transition from West being shot at to falling 30 feet to the ground feels abrupt and could be better executed for a smoother flow.
Loveless's grand entrance and speech could be more impactful and dramatic to heighten the tension and emphasize the gravity of the situation.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more descriptive language to enhance the action sequences and create a more vivid picture for the audience.
Introduce more dialogue that reveals the characters' emotions, motivations, and relationships to add depth to the scene.
Work on the pacing of the scene to build tension gradually and maintain the audience's interest.
Explore different camera angles and shots to capture the intensity of the moment and create a visually engaging scene.
Consider adding a twist or unexpected turn of events to keep the audience guessing and engaged.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is action-packed, emotionally engaging, and moves the story forward significantly. The high stakes, intense conflict, and memorable dialogue make it a standout moment in the screenplay.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a showdown involving a giant metal tarantula, a daring rescue attempt, and a dramatic confrontation between the heroes and the villain is executed with creativity and excitement.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed, with multiple storylines converging in a climactic moment. The scene advances the main plot while introducing new challenges and conflicts for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique blend of old west and steampunk elements, combining historical references with futuristic technology. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their motivations drive the action. The interactions between West, Gordon, Loveless, and the other characters add depth and tension to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo some development, particularly in their relationships and motivations. West and Gordon's bond is tested, while Loveless reveals more about his plans and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal in this scene is likely survival and victory in the face of overwhelming odds. This reflects his deeper need for freedom, justice, and possibly revenge against his enemies.

External Goal: 7

West's external goal is to defeat the Tarantula and its crew, possibly to protect himself or others from harm. This goal reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the battle.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the heroes and the villain, as well as internal conflicts among the characters, creates a sense of urgency and danger. The stakes are high, leading to intense action and drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with West facing overwhelming odds and unexpected challenges. The audience is unsure of how he will overcome these obstacles, adding to the suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are incredibly high, with the fate of the United States hanging in the balance. The heroes must overcome formidable obstacles and make difficult choices to save the day.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by resolving some conflicts, introducing new challenges, and setting up the next stage of the heroes' journey. It builds anticipation for the climax of the screenplay.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the battle, as well as the philosophical conflict between the characters. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict between Loveless, who sees himself as a victim seeking retribution, and the prisoners who represent justice and freedom. This challenges West's beliefs about right and wrong, and the consequences of his actions.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from suspense and fear to hope and determination. The characters' struggles and sacrifices resonate with the audience, creating a strong emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships. It adds to the tension and humor of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes. The conflict and tension keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and dynamic, with quick cuts between action sequences and character moments. The rhythm builds tension and excitement, keeping the audience engaged.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions. The visual elements are well-defined and contribute to the overall atmosphere.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear action beats and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the tension and excitement of the battle.

173 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - DUSK 173

West's body hasn't moved. The only change is that now
a line of ants crawls across his face. We watch, hoping
for a twitch, something... But there is none. The ants
march over lifeless eyes, swarm onto the bloody cut on
his head. If we're not convinced he's dead...

ANGLE - VULTURE

circles lower, finally landing right by West's head. As
the hideous carrion-eater leans over West's face...

EXTREME CLOSEUP - WEST'S EYES

A shadow falls across them. But instead of the pecking
red beak, a human hand appears IN the FRAME. Brushes the
ants away. We hear an INDIAN INCANTATION over. Then
finally... West's eyelids flutter open.

WEST'S POV - NAVAJO SHAMAN

standing over him. BLURRY, back-lit by the sun, the face
of West's Indian friend. The healer who can turn himself
into a bird.

(CONTINUED)
94.

173 CONTINUED: 173

As West sits up groggily, feels his head. Hey, it's
okay. As he makes a mental note to always be kind to
animals...

174 INT. LOVELESS'S LAIR - AMPHITHEATER - DUSK (SAME TIME) 174

Loveless continues his speech to the foreign contingent.

LOVELESS
(looks to Hudson
the indian)
Manhattan for a handful of beads?
(raises his hand;
injun-style)
How?
(to the Mexicans)
Remember the Alamo indeed!
(humbly to crowd)
Today I'm proud to be able to sit
before you and tell you the wrongs
will be righted... the past made
present... the United, divided!

To thunderous applause. Loveless signals for the flag to
be pulled down, revealing...

ANGLE ON MAP OF "THE DE-UNITED STATES"

There have been some significant internal changes which
Loveless now describes. The delegation from each country
stands when they hear their name.

LOVELESS
Great Britain gets back the
thirteen original colonies...
minus Manhattan.
(off applause)
Florida and the Fountain of Youth
go back to Spain!
(off applause)
Texas, New Mexico, California,
Arizona revolve a Mexico!
(off applause)
And the Louisiana Purchase reverts
back to the King of France!

In the front row Rita leans over to Gordon.

RITA
Queen of Spain. King of France.
I was close.

(CONTINUED)
95.

174 CONTINUED: 174

MUNITIA
(jostles her)
Shut up and listen to a real
genius!

Finally Loveless taps Colorado, Kansas, Utah and Nevada
-- now labelled as "Loveless Land." Smiles impishly.

LOVELESS
And a tiny piece for me to retire
on.

There's appreciative laughter.

Genres: Western, Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
Tone: Dramatic, Intense, Suspenseful, Humorous

Summary As ants crawl over West's unconscious body, a Navajo Shaman appears and heals him. Simultaneously, Loveless continues his speech in his lair, proposing to divide the United States among various countries.

Strengths

Intense action
Engaging dialogue
High stakes
Well-developed characters

Weaknesses

Some elements may be overly dramatic or fantastical

General Critique

The transition from West's seemingly lifeless body to the Navajo shaman's presence is abrupt and lacks a smooth connection.
The introduction of the Loveless's speech about dividing the United States feels disjointed from the previous scene with West and the Navajo shaman.
The dialogue in Loveless's speech comes across as forced and lacks subtlety in conveying the message of division.
The scene lacks a clear emotional impact or tension, making it feel flat and disconnected from the overall narrative.
The shift from West's revival to Loveless's speech could be smoother to maintain the flow of the story.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition between West's revival and Loveless's speech to maintain coherence in the storytelling.
Work on making Loveless's speech more nuanced and engaging to create a stronger impact on the audience.
Introduce elements of tension or conflict within the scene to keep the audience engaged and connected to the story.
Ensure that the emotional beats of the scene are well-developed to evoke a response from the audience.
Consider revising the pacing of the scene to maintain a consistent flow throughout the screenplay.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is action-packed, filled with tension, and sets up a major confrontation between the protagonist and antagonist. The mix of drama, humor, and suspense keeps the audience engaged.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Loveless dividing the United States and the introduction of the Navajo shaman add depth and intrigue to the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly with the revelation of Loveless's plan and the confrontation between West and Loveless. The stakes are high, and the tension is palpable.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the theme of life and death, blending supernatural elements with realistic details. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with West and Loveless showcasing their strengths and weaknesses. Rita adds a new dynamic to the group.

Character Changes: 7

West and Loveless both face challenges and make decisions that impact their characters, setting up future developments.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to survive and come back to consciousness after being seemingly dead. This reflects his fear of mortality and desire to continue living.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to understand the situation he is in and figure out how he ended up in this near-death state. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing and the need to make sense of his surroundings.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between West and Loveless reaches a peak, with high stakes and intense action driving the scene forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create uncertainty and challenge the protagonist's beliefs, adding depth to the conflict and narrative.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are incredibly high, with the future of the United States hanging in the balance.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward significantly, setting up the final showdown between West and Loveless.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements like the shaman's intervention and the protagonist's revival, keeping the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the contrast between life and death, as symbolized by the presence of the dead body and the shaman's ability to bring the protagonist back to life. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about mortality and the afterlife.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from suspense to excitement to humor.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the characters and the plot.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it keeps the audience on edge, wondering if the protagonist will survive and how the supernatural elements will play out.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the protagonist's fate.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct visual cues and transitions between different elements.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, following a logical progression from the discovery of the dead body to the protagonist's revival.

175 INT. WANDERER - PARLOR CAR - WEST - SAME TIME 175

stumbles in and looks around discouraged.

The place has been ransacked. The gun cabinets are
empty, the Gatling lamp removed. All that's left is
Gordon's Nitro-cycle and his wardrobe full of dresses.

West tries every secret hiding place. Nothing. Finally
he finds Gordon's belt buckle/derringer. He opens the
breech. Only one dinky bullet. He throws down the belt
in disgust.

176 INT. LOVELESS'S LAIR - AMPHITHEATER - LOVELESS - DUSK 176

sits behind a desk that has been brought to center stage.
Loveless unrolls a document, signs his half of it.

LOVELESS
My partner nations insist that we
make this as legal as possible.
Personally, I like the symmetry of
it. After all wasn't it you who
made us sign a surrender at
Appomattox?

Loveless snaps his fingers. Amazonia drags Grant out of
his seat and sticks a pen in his manacled hands.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Never will I sign that paper,
never will the United States ever
surrender!

(CONTINUED)
96.

176 CONTINUED: 176

LOVELESS
Well, sir, we're at loggerheads
then, aren't we? And I suppose
the threat of death to someone
with your valorous war record,
would mean nothing.

Grant sets his jaw intractably. He's right about that.

LOVELESS
... so, if you still refuse to
sign this surrender... we'll start
by shooting your man, Gordon.

Loveless whirls, nods to Amazonia who drags the President
back to his seat, pulls Gordon out of his. Rita can't
help her outburst.

RITA
Artemus!

Artemus smiles at her, extremely brave under the
circumstances. He whispers to Rita and the President.

GORDON
(tugs at his vest)
Don't worry, I'm wearing the
Impermeable.

Rita turns to Grant. What the hell is that? Gordon has
no time to explain as Amazonia hauls him up on the stage.
As Munitia aims her rifle... Gordon holds up a finger.

GORDON
If I may have one request... it's
that she aim at my heart... which
has loved this great country so
much!

LOVELESS
(considers for a moment)
Shoot him in the head.

GORDON
Great.

Munitia cocks her rifle, then just as Loveless holds his
hands up for the signal to fire... the lights dim...
97.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Tense, Dramatic, Suspenseful

Summary West finds Gordon's secret hideout ransacked and empty. Loveless pressures Grant to surrender, threatening Gordon's life. Gordon reveals an "Impermeable" vest and asks to be shot in the heart, but Loveless orders Munitia to shoot Gordon in the head instead. As Munitia prepares to fire, the lights dim, leaving Gordon's fate uncertain.

Strengths

Intense conflict
High stakes
Compelling dialogue

Weaknesses

Lack of significant character development

General Critique

The scene opens with West finding Gordon's secret hideout ransacked and empty, which creates a sense of disappointment and discouragement for the character.
The dialogue between Loveless and President Grant sets up a tense and high-stakes situation, with Loveless threatening to shoot Gordon if Grant refuses to sign a surrender document.
There is a good use of dramatic irony as Gordon reveals he is wearing an 'Impermeable' vest and asks to be shot in the heart, only for Loveless to order Munitia to shoot him in the head instead.
The scene effectively builds suspense with the lights dimming just as Munitia is about to shoot Gordon, leaving the audience on edge and eager to see what happens next.
The scene transitions smoothly between West's discovery of the ransacked hideout and Loveless's confrontation with President Grant, maintaining a good pace and keeping the audience engaged.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual cues to show the extent of the ransacking in Gordon's hideout, such as overturned furniture or broken items, to enhance the impact of the scene.
Explore ways to further develop the tension between Loveless and President Grant, perhaps by adding more dialogue or actions that highlight their conflicting motivations.
To increase the emotional impact of Gordon's sacrifice, consider adding a moment of hesitation or reflection before Munitia is ordered to shoot him in the head.
Think about incorporating more sensory details or descriptive language to create a vivid atmosphere during the confrontation scene, heightening the suspense and drama.
Consider ending the scene on a cliffhanger or with a surprising twist to leave the audience eagerly anticipating the next development in the story.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is intense, suspenseful, and full of high stakes, with a good balance of action and dialogue.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a negotiation scene with President Grant's life at risk is compelling and adds depth to the plot.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed, with tension building as the characters face off against Loveless in a high-stakes situation.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique blend of historical elements, action, and moral dilemmas. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters show bravery and defiance in the face of danger, adding depth to their personalities.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the characters' bravery and defiance are highlighted.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal in this scene is to find a way to save Gordon and stop Loveless's plans. This reflects his deeper desire to protect his friends and uphold justice.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to prevent Loveless from forcing President Grant to sign a surrender document. This reflects the immediate challenge of stopping Loveless's plans and saving Gordon.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the protagonists and Loveless is intense and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Loveless threatening violence and President Grant refusing to surrender, creating a tense and uncertain atmosphere.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with President Grant's life on the line and the protagonists facing off against Loveless in a dangerous situation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, setting up the final confrontation with Loveless.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and moral dilemmas faced by the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Loveless's desire for power and control, and President Grant's refusal to surrender. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in justice and freedom.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes fear, bravery, and defiance in the characters, creating an emotional impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is tense and impactful, especially during the negotiation scene with Loveless and President Grant.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, emotional moments, and suspenseful atmosphere.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense gradually, leading to a climactic moment.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear descriptions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, building tension and conflict effectively.

177 INT. LOVELESS'S LAIR - AMPHITHEATER - DUSK 177

A candle-powered spotlight swings across the stage and
illuminates... a deep-throated, bluesy black CHANTEUSE
who starts singing the popular cathouse song, "Hangtown
Gals."

CHANTEUSE
(singing)
'Ohhh... Hangtown gals are plump
and rosy...'

Loveless wheels his chair around to take a gander and
forgets Gordon's execution instantly. And why not?
She's young and beautiful in a RuPaul sort of way. About
six feet tall, wearing the blue sequined number Gordon
had in his dressing room.

Accessorized with black mesh stockings, big feather boa,
silver-buckled belt, lots of frilly petticoats for those
can-can moves.

CHANTEUSE
(singing)
'Hair in ringlets, mighty cozy...'

She winds her finger around her ringlets and sticks out
her derriere to the crowd. They stare, mouths agape at
this piece of ass worthy of Othello.

CLOSE - LOVELESS

Intrigued. Well, maybe more than intrigued.

LOVELESS
A new girl! What a nice surprise!

He motions to hold up Gordon's execution, rolls to her.

CHANTEUSE
'Painted cheeks and frilly
corsets.'
(bends over showing
her undergarment)
Touch them...'

Loveless hears this as an invitation, reaches out with
his hand and whap! She slaps him right in the face.

CHANTEUSE
'... And they'll sting like
hornets!'

(CONTINUED)
98.

177 CONTINUED: 177

There's a hush in the crowd. Loveless, a red handprint
on his face, is a little nonplussed. Amazonia moves in
threateningly, but Loveless stops her, starts to laugh.

LOVELESS
(making her name up
on the spot)
Ebonia! Why are you so cruel to
me?

Ebonia has escaped a head-cutting neck bracelet. But she
probably shouldn't be teasing a man who's having "ghost
aches" in certain amputated places.

ANGLE - GORDON

waiting to be executed. Something's not quite kosher
about her for Gordon.

GORDON
(musing to himself)
I have a dress like that.

ANGLE - CHANTEUSE

Now with the crowd singing along, she pulls out all the
stops. Her gestures and dance moves become more
exaggerated, she's in the thrall of her audience.

CHANTEUSE
(singing)
'Hangtown gals are lovely
creatures
Think they'll marry Mormon
preachers.'

She sashays over to the French dignitary, pulls his
monocle out of his eye and blows hot breath on it,
steaming it up. As she pops it back on his face...

CHANTEUSE
(singing)
'Heads thrown back to show their
features...'

Now she puts her cheek next to Rita as if matching their
relative beauty while picking the pocket of Lippenreider.

Rita pushes her away disgustedly but not before Ebonia
hands Coleman the keys to the cuffs. Coleman looks from
the keys to Ebonia. He just caught on.

(CONTINUED)
99.

177 CONTINUED: (2) 177

COLEMAN
Go, Ebonia, go.

Then Ebonia prances on stage to Gordon, cuddles up to
him. Gordon looks at the big beautiful black woman with
a mixture of amusement and relief. Of course, it's his
"I'd rather be dead" partner, Jim West.

WEST
(singing)
Ha... Ha... Hangtown girls...

GORDON
Not to sound ungrateful, but you're
a little over the top.

WEST
(sings)
Ha... Ha... Ha...

West/Ebonia wraps the feather boa around Gordon's neck --
hiding the derringer in the palm of his hand. Gordon looks
worried. What's he going to do with a gun? As he tucks
it up his sleeve...

GORDON
Let me warn you about that
dress...

WEST
Gotta go. Big finish...
(belts it out)
'Ha, ha, ha! Hangtown gals!!!'

An immediate standing ovation. The diversion allows
Coleman to unlock both Grant's and Rita's shackles.
Grant looks at the keys.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Where'd those come from...?

COLEMAN
(nods to Ebonia)
Captain West.

Their eyes practically pop out of their heads.

RITA
She's... no...!

ANGLE - EBONIA/WEST

One more time.

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 7/1/98 100.

177 CONTINUED: (3) 177

WEST
(singing)
'Ha, ha, ha... Hang... Town...
Girls!!!'

Suddenly the tassels on his bosoms are spinning to the
delight of the crowd.

WEST
(suddenly blinks)
Wait a minute. What the hell
is this?

He stops, but his tassels are still spinning on their
own.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Musical
Tone: Humorous, Sarcastic, Entertaining, Lighthearted

Summary At Loveless's lair, a captivating performance by a black Chanteuse distracts Loveless, allowing Jim West, disguised as the Chanteuse, to infiltrate the stage. When Loveless attempts to touch the Chanteuse, she slaps him, leading to a tense confrontation. West's disguise enables him to release Grant and Rita from their shackles, orchestrating a discreet escape.

Strengths

Humor
Entertainment
Musical Performance
Dialogue

Weaknesses

Lack of deep emotional impact
Minor character development

General Critique

The scene introduces a new character, the Chanteuse, in a way that distracts Loveless from Gordon's execution, but the transition feels abrupt and slightly forced.
The Chanteuse's performance and interactions with the crowd are entertaining, but the scene lacks a clear connection to the overall plot and feels somewhat disconnected from the previous events.
The reveal that the Chanteuse is actually Jim West in disguise is clever, but the execution of the reveal could be more seamless and impactful.
The dialogue and actions of the Chanteuse/West are entertaining, but the transition from the Chanteuse persona to Jim West could be smoother to enhance the surprise factor.
The scene could benefit from more foreshadowing or hints leading up to the reveal of Jim West as the Chanteuse to make the twist more satisfying and organic.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider integrating the Chanteuse's performance and interactions more closely with the main plot or themes of the story to create a stronger connection.
Work on the pacing and flow of the scene to ensure a smoother transition from the Chanteuse persona to Jim West's reveal.
Enhance the build-up to the reveal of Jim West as the Chanteuse by adding subtle hints or clues throughout the scene.
Focus on making the reveal of Jim West as the Chanteuse a more impactful and surprising moment for the audience.
Consider revising the dialogue and actions of the Chanteuse/West to create a more seamless and engaging transition between the two characters.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is highly entertaining, combining humor, music, and unexpected twists to engage the audience.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a character disguising themselves as a singer to create a diversion is unique and adds a fun element to the scene.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as the characters use the diversion to unlock shackles and create chaos in Loveless's lair.

Originality: 9

The scene features a fresh approach to the classic 'diversion' trope, incorporating elements of deception, humor, and unexpected character dynamics. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and original, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters show versatility and humor in their actions, adding depth to their personalities.

Character Changes: 4

There are minor character changes as the disguised character reveals their true identity, leading to surprise.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to distract Loveless and his men in order to execute a plan to free themselves and others. This reflects their desire to outsmart their enemies and survive in a dangerous situation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to create a diversion through the Chanteuse's performance in order to unlock shackles and free themselves and others. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of escaping captivity and avoiding execution.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

There is a mild conflict between Loveless and the disguised character, adding tension to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonists facing difficult challenges and obstacles that keep the audience on edge. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 5

While there are stakes involved, the scene maintains a lighthearted tone and focuses more on entertainment.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new element of chaos and potential escape for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the plot, as well as the characters' surprising actions and decisions. The audience is kept guessing about the outcome until the very end.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around deception and manipulation. The Chanteuse's performance serves as a cover for the protagonists' true intentions, highlighting the theme of appearances versus reality.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 5

The scene focuses more on humor and entertainment rather than deep emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and adds to the comedic tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of suspense, humor, and unexpected plot developments. The audience is kept on the edge of their seats, eager to see how the characters will outsmart their enemies.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspense that keeps the audience engaged. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness in building tension and excitement.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a well-paced structure that builds tension and suspense, leading to a satisfying resolution. The dialogue and action are effectively integrated to advance the plot.

178 INT. LOVELESS'S LAIR - AMPHITHEATER - DUSK 178

Immediately two FLAME THROWERS EXPLODE from his cone-like
bosoms.

Maybe he should've listened about the dress. He turns to
Gordon questioningly, and inadvertently incinerates one of
Loveless's goons. He howls in pain, runs panicked...
right into Rita.

RITA
Serves you right for staring at
them.

As she relieves the charred goon of his keys... Loveless
turns to the rest of his goons.

LOVELESS
Kill him!
(off their confused
looks, points)
Him! Him! The girl!

Finally getting it, they rush Ebonia. Even his 4th of
July breasts aren't a match for them. Desperate, West
reaches way down in his undergarments to retrieve one of
Gordon's billiard balls. He depresses the number and
rolls it at the guards.

GORDON
Was that the eight ball?

WEST
Mmm-hmm.

Gordon grabs West and Rita, pulls them behind the bar.

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 7/1/98 101.

178 CONTINUED: 178

GORDON
That one's an incendiary bomb.

KA-BOOOOM! An EXPLOSION rips the place and a Santa Ana-
sized fire starts immediately.

Rita jumps up and makes her way through the smoke to a
bearded SCIENTIST.

WEST/GORDON
Rita!

She unlocks his neck collar, turns to them and smiles.

RITA
(disappearing into
the chaos)
Meet me after the show!

Both West and Gordon look after her with yearning as
three goons charge them. Coleman, amazed at their
torpor, quickly grabs a RIFLE from the incinerated goon
and OPENS FIRE. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Three goons drop. Gordon and West exchange looks.
Not bad for an emphysemic old engineer.

COLEMAN
Special Marshal... President
thought you needed some lookin'
after.

Speaking of the President... he's grabbed a dead goon's
RIFLE, and is LAYING DOWN a pretty good field of FIRE
himself. Suddenly, he gets a tap on the shoulder from
behind. It's Amazonia. Whap, she sends a right to his
chin knocking him out. She throws him over her shoulder
and carries him away.

179 INT. LOVELESS'S LAIR - AMPHITHEATER - BEHIND STAGE - 179
DUSK

As fire engulfs the place, Loveless has no choice but to
retreat... for now. Surrounded by a cadre of his women,
who carry the unconscious President Grant, Loveless heads
through a round STEEL VAULT DOOR. As Amazonia swings the
door closed, the foreign dignitaries BANG on the door
begging for admittance.

(CONTINUED)
102.

179 CONTINUED: 179

FRENCH MINISTER
Monsieur, we are your partners!
You can't let us die in this
fire!!

LOVELESS
It's not the first time y'all have
been burned in America.

He chuckles, nods to Amazonia, who SLAMS the DOOR closed.

180 EXT. LOVELESS'S LAIR - AMPHITHEATER - WEST, GORDON AND 180
COLEMAN - DUSK

emerge from the smoking lair, coughing and gasping for
breath. They watch helplessly as...

181 EXT. AMPHITHEATER - TARANTULA - DUSK 181

CLAMBERS out of the bowl -- with Grant captive on the
bridge.

A182 EXT. AMPHITHEATER - DUSK A182

COLEMAN
This is diabolical! They've got
the President and I've still got
that silly song in my head!

GORDON
(freaking out)
C'mon we gotta go! We gotta ride
horse! Something!

West is watching the Tarantula, turns to calm him.

WEST
No, Arte. Right now, we need
a plan.

Gordon tries to compose himself.

WEST
That flyin' machine idea of
yours... were you just acting like
you knew what you were talking
about... or could you build it?

182 OMITTED 182
& &
183 183
103.

184 EXT. NEAR SPIDER CANYON - WANDERER - STOPPED - DUSK 184

PANNING an expanse of canvas comprising a 20-foot wing
span. In the b.g., we hear Gordon SCRIBBLING.

GORDON (O.S.)
Now Bernoulli's Principle states
that the air flowing over a bird's
wings... is moving at a lower
pressure than the pressure below
the wing... that's called 'lift.'
Course, it's just a theory... it's
never been tested.

NEW ANGLE - GORDON'S DRAWING

It depicts a wing cutting through the air. Arrows
indicating airflow. Circular lines indicating "life."
Only one problem, it's upside down. Gordon remedies
that. Looks sheepishly to West who, like him, is wearing
a leather flight jacket and goggles.

WEST
You're not makin' me feel any
better.

Now they attach the wing to the frame -- which is
connected to the Nitro-cycle.

Coleman, his ever-present cigarette dangling from his
mouth, readies bombs from the gunpowder of cartridges and
Gordon's design. They look like Flash Gordon's
spaceship. He passes them out.

COLEMAN
Here's a coupla bon voyage
presents.

GORDON
Coleman! Must you smoke when
handling explosives!

Gordon grabs them away from him and sits in the saddle of
the Nitro-cycle. West looks at Coleman apologetically as
he stuffs the bombs into his jacket.

WEST
He's just a little nervous 'cause
no one's ever flown before.

West is barely on the back when Gordon kicks it over and
they BLAST OUT OF FRAME.
104.

185 EXT. DESERT AND CLIFF - NITRO-CYCLE - DUSK 185

builds ground speed. Gordon is nervous at the wheel.
West gives him an encouraging pat.

WEST
Avant...! Avant!!!

But their speed is not enough to get them airborne.

GORDON
We're not getting enough lift!
We need more speed!

Then in an uncharacteristic move by Gordon, he turns the
machine around and heads for the cliff.

WEST
Hey, uh... that's the cliff over
there, you know?

He guns the accelerator.

GORDON
Yes, I do know.

And with that, the Nitro-cycle goes off the cliff! It
disappears for the count of five. Then suddenly it
swoops up and PAST CAMERA. They're flying!

186 EXT. SKY - DESERT WASP - IN FLIGHT - DUSK 186

GORDON
(amazed)
It worked...? It worked!!

WEST
(looking down)
If you had to get one right, I'm
real glad it was this one.

GORDON
(exhilarated, with
West-like abandon)
Yeee-haaa!

And with that, they bank the Desert Wasp around and fly
off to save the Republic.

187 EXT. SILVERADO - TARANTULA - DUSK 187

is entering the town.
105.

188 EXT. BRIDGE - TARANTULA - DUSK 188

Loveless turns to Grant, his face beaten and bruised.

LOVELESS
Mr. President, I'll ask you once
again. Sign the surrender or I
decimate this town!

PRESIDENT GRANT
You've had my answer.

Loveless's face darkens as Amazonia hands him a tray of
cotton balls.

LOVELESS
(as he puts in earplugs)
I find the sound of people
screaming while they get blown to
smithereens, ruins the ear for
music. Don't you?

He offers them to the President. Grant swats them away.

LOVELESS
Commence firing!

And with that the Tarantula OPENS FIRE on the town.
There's a lot of stomping and smashing, too.

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Western
Tone: Tense, Exciting, Humorous, Dramatic

Summary Amidst the chaos of a raging fire, West and Gordon outwit Loveless's guards, while Coleman unexpectedly aids them. Rita frees a scientist and makes a rendezvous plan. Loveless retreats with the captured President Grant, leaving the dignitaries trapped, as the Tarantula emerges from the lair with its captive. West and Gordon witness the escape and prepare to pursue in the Desert Wasp.

Strengths

Exciting action sequences
Dynamic characters
Humorous dialogue
High stakes
Creative use of technology

Weaknesses

Some elements may be over-the-top or unrealistic
Character motivations could be further developed

General Critique

The scene starts with a chaotic and action-packed sequence involving flame throwers and explosions, which can be overwhelming for the audience to follow.
The transition from the flamethrower incident to Rita relieving the charred goon of his keys feels abrupt and could use a smoother transition.
The dialogue between Loveless and his goons ordering them to kill West lacks depth and could benefit from more nuanced interactions.
The introduction of Coleman as a character who saves West and Gordon with his marksmanship feels rushed and could use more development.
The scene ends with a cliffhanger as Loveless retreats, leaving the fate of the characters uncertain, which can be frustrating for the audience.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider pacing the action sequences to allow for better clarity and understanding of the events unfolding.
Work on smoother transitions between different character interactions to maintain a cohesive flow in the scene.
Enhance the dialogue to add depth to the characters and their motivations, creating more engaging interactions.
Develop the character of Coleman further to make his actions more believable and impactful in the scene.
Consider providing a more conclusive ending to the scene to satisfy the audience's curiosity and create a sense of closure.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is action-packed, engaging, and filled with tension, humor, and drama. It effectively moves the story forward and keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using a flying machine to combat the giant tarantula is innovative and adds excitement to the scene. The idea of a black Chanteuse performance as a distraction is also unique and adds depth to the plot.

Plot: 9

The plot is well-developed, with high stakes, a sense of urgency, and a clear goal for the characters to achieve. The action sequences are thrilling and keep the audience engaged.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as billiard balls as weapons and a flying machine, adding freshness to the action genre. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are dynamic and show growth, especially in their teamwork and problem-solving skills. The comedic moments add depth to their personalities and make them relatable.

Character Changes: 7

The characters show growth and development, particularly in their teamwork and problem-solving abilities. They learn to trust each other and work together to overcome obstacles.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect themselves and their allies while facing off against Loveless and his goons. This reflects their desire for survival and loyalty to their friends.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to defeat Loveless and rescue President Grant. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, with the characters facing off against Loveless and his goons, as well as the imminent threat of the giant tarantula. The stakes are raised as the President is held captive, adding to the tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing multiple challenges and obstacles that create tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the President's life in danger, the town under threat, and the characters facing off against a formidable enemy. The sense of urgency and danger adds intensity to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by resolving conflicts, introducing new challenges, and setting up the next stage of the narrative. It keeps the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to unexpected plot twists, character actions, and outcomes.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the value of power and control. Loveless seeks to dominate and destroy, while the protagonist values freedom and justice.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits a range of emotions from the audience, including excitement, tension, humor, and relief. The characters' struggles and triumphs resonate with the viewers.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and adds to the overall tone of the scene. It effectively conveys the characters' personalities and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspense that keeps the audience engaged.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 7

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise action lines and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.

189 EXT. SKY - DESERT WASP (IN FLIGHT) - DUSK 189

high above the Tarantula. Gordon, lost in the joy of
flight, turns to West who is more of a white-knuckler.

GORDON
I think I'll call it...

WEST
Lemme guess... an Elevation Enhancer?

GORDON
(why would you
call it that?)
No, Air... Gordon.

Now West points to the Tarantula and chaos below.

WEST
Go down, down there!

(CONTINUED)
106.

189 CONTINUED: 189

GORDON
(as if to a child)
You can't just 'go down there.'
Flight depends on lift, which must
be calibrated to the angle of
descent...

WEST
Shut up and go down there, will
ya?

West reaches up, shoves the make-shift joystick forward.
As the wasp plummets toward the bridge of the Tarantula
and Gordon strains to keep control...

190 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DUSK 190

Loveless and Grant are oblivious to our heroes above. He
unlocks one of Grant's handcuffs, presents him with a
pen.

LOVELESS
Well, Mr. President. Have you had
enough yet? Would you like to
sign the surrender or shall we set
a course for Denver? Wichita?
Washington, perhaps?

Suddenly there's a LOUD WHOOOSH and...

191 EXT. SKY - DESERT WASP (IN FLIGHT) - ABOVE SILVERADO - 191
DUSK

West and Gordon swooping down low. West unfastens
BOMBS from his vest, waits for the right moment. As
they swing past the Tarantula cannon, he drops them.
BOOM! BOOM! The big gun falls limp.

192 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DUSK 192

The dumbfounded Tarantula crew, which has been whittled
down to Miss Lippenreider, Amazonia and Munitia. They
never counted on having to shoot something in the air,
and can't raise their weapons any higher than 90 degrees.

193 EXT. SKY - DESERT WASP (IN FLIGHT) - ABOVE SILVERADO - 193
DUSK

West and Gordon banking around for another sortie.
107.

194 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DUSK 194

Loveless wheels his chair amid the smoke and chaos,
shocked. WARNING HORNS are GOING OFF.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Well, I'll be damned... it's West
and Gordon... flying!

Grant chuckles at the dauntless pair's pluck.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Keep that surrender handy. I
think you're going to need it!

LOVELESS
Don't be too sure...

Loveless thinks for a moment, pushes Grant out of the
way, and rolls over to the controls. He pushes a lever
and the Tarantula bends down on its knees. He barks to
Munitia.

LOVELESS
I'm through with diplomacy... Take
him away and kill him!

195 EXT. DESERT - TARANTULA - DUSK 195

On its front knees...

196 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DUSK 196

Now its rear end is tilted up in the air giving
Amazonia at the Gatling gun a shot at...

197 EXT. SKY - DESERT WASP (IN FLIGHT) - ABOVE SILVERADO - 197
DUSK

The BULLETS PERFORATE the Desert's Wasp's wings and BLAST
through its STRUTS. They're going down!

WEST
What does your boy da Vinci say
about puttin' this bird down?

GORDON
I don't think he thought it would
ever work, so he didn't get that
far. I'm open to suggestions.

(CONTINUED)
108.

197 CONTINUED: 197

WEST
Take out as many bad guys out as
you can.

Gordon aims wasp at the Tarantula kamikaze-like just
as...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Tense, Exciting, Dramatic

Summary Gordon and West disable the Tarantula's big gun, but their Desert Wasp is attacked and damaged. Loveless orders President Grant's execution, but Grant convinces him to surrender.

Strengths

High-stakes action
Innovative concept
Tense and exciting tone

Weaknesses

Some cliched dialogue
Slightly predictable plot twists

General Critique

The scene lacks clear and concise action descriptions, making it difficult to visualize the sequence of events.
The dialogue between West and Gordon feels forced and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to showcase their dynamic relationship.
The transition between the Desert Wasp flying above the Tarantula and the action on the Tarantula bridge is abrupt and could be smoother.
The stakes of the scene are not clearly defined, leading to a lack of tension and suspense for the audience.
The visual elements of the scene could be enhanced to create a more vivid and engaging visual experience for the audience.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Provide more detailed and vivid action descriptions to create a clearer picture of the events unfolding.
Develop the dialogue between West and Gordon to reflect their personalities and relationship dynamics more effectively.
Improve the transition between different locations and characters to ensure a seamless flow of the scene.
Establish clear stakes and objectives for the characters to increase tension and engage the audience.
Enhance the visual elements of the scene to create a more immersive and visually appealing experience for the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is action-packed, tense, and full of excitement, with high stakes and a dramatic rescue mission. It keeps the audience engaged and on the edge of their seats.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using a flying machine to attack a giant metal tarantula in a high-stakes rescue mission is unique and innovative. It adds a thrilling element to the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot is well-developed, with a clear goal of rescuing President Grant and defeating Loveless. The action sequences drive the plot forward and keep the audience invested.

Originality: 9

The scene features a unique blend of historical and futuristic elements, along with witty dialogue and high-stakes action. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of West, Gordon, Loveless, and President Grant are well-defined and their actions drive the plot forward. Their interactions add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

West and Gordon demonstrate growth and teamwork as they work together to rescue President Grant. Their actions show development in their relationship.

Internal Goal: 8

Gordon's internal goal is to maintain control of the Desert Wasp and protect himself and West during the battle. This reflects his desire for adventure and his need to prove himself as a capable pilot.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to defeat the antagonist, Loveless, and his crew on the Tarantula. This goal reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the aerial battle.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, with the characters facing physical danger, emotional turmoil, and a race against time to rescue President Grant.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the antagonist posing a significant threat to the protagonists and creating tension in the battle.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, with President Grant's life on the line and the fate of the United States hanging in the balance.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by resolving the conflict with Loveless, saving President Grant, and setting up the next stage of the plot.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the aerial battle, keeping the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Loveless' ruthless and power-hungry nature and Gordon and West's sense of justice and heroism. This conflict challenges the protagonist's beliefs in doing what is right in the face of evil.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes fear, determination, and hope in the audience. The high stakes and dramatic action sequences create an emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and moves the action forward. It reveals character motivations and adds tension to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes. The aerial battle keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and intense, with quick cuts between the aerial battle and the characters' dialogue, creating a sense of urgency and excitement.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a typical action sequence structure, with escalating tension and a clear goal for the characters to achieve.

198 EXT. TARANTULA - LOWER DECK - MUNITIA - DUSK 198

Munitia cocks back the hammer of her pistol and aims
it at the President... The WASP CRASHES into her.
The SHOT GOES OFF wildly and Munitia falls off the
deck, to her death.

As Grant and the wasp hang over the edge...

199 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DUSK 199

Loveless at the controls.

LOVELESS
Munitia! Munitia!!!

200 EXT. TARANTULA - LOWER DECK - DUSK 200

West and Gordon, bruised but alive, climb off the wasp
and onto the lower deck. They pick up the President
and dust him off.

GORDON
Sorry about that, sir. Nose up,
flaps down. Have to remember that
next time.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Son, never apologize for saving a
President's life.

As Gordon realizes that he's finally made amends for that
night long ago in Ford's Theater...

AMAZONIA (O.S.)
Soon you all can fly again. This
time with little angel wings.

West, Gordon and Grant turn to see Amazonia and
Lippenreider with the drop on them.
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 109.

201 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DUSK 201

West, Gordon, and Grant are now under Loveless's control.

LOVELESS
Gentlemen, I am truly impressed by
your effort and ingenuity. Why
not swear an oath of loyalty to
me... and forego your executions.

WEST
Why not? Well, I guess maybe I'd
rather see what happens when I
stuff your ass into that cannon
up there and fertilize the
landscape.

GORDON
Uh, Jim, I think a polite 'no'
would suffice...

Loveless taps a button on his chair and the floor opens
up beneath West. He goes crashing down a story.

Loveless sics Amazonia on Gordon and Grant and proceeds
down the ramp to the level below.

LOVELESS
Lippenreider, take over the
controls.
(looks down at West)
We may not have a woodshed on
board, but that boy is gonna get a
whoopin' anyway!

202 INT. BELLY OF THE BEAST - DAY 202

West plunges down into the metal chamber. Oiled pistons,
thrusting. Steam, billowing. Struggles to his feet.

There, out of the shadows, steps...

KNIFE GUY

He's a mess... no hands, just brass collars where they
used to be. They lock eyes.

WEST
So, I guess you're the one who's
gonna give me my whoopin'.

They square off. A beat. Then, a long steely blade
shoots out from where his left hand used to be.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 109A.

202 CONTINUED: 202

WEST
Pfft. I got one a' those.

West reveals the less impressive four inch stiletto in
his boot. Knife Guy responds by producing another
blade from his other cuff.

WEST
But you've got two of those.
(beat)
Okay, lemme talk to Gordon, I'll
see if he can...

No time for talk. Knife Guy does a bad-ass series of
moves. The blades criss-crossing one another at blinding
speed. West, unimpressed, retorts with a lame shake of
his stiletto and boot.

And the fight begins...

Knife Guy attacks! West narrowly escapes each thrust of
the knife, and attempts a kick to the groin... but comes
up short -- The stiletto collides with one of the blades
and snaps like a carrot. His only weapon... gone.

WEST
Damn.

West rolls onto the railing to avoid the attack. Sparks
fly as the Knife Guy tries to slice and dice West but
misses each time, hitting the metal railing instead.

West rolls to the floor, sucking air. Knife Guy lands
a kick to West's ribs. And to make matters worse...

WRENCH GUY

just showed up. He swings his wrench at West's head.
West ducks but gets kicked in the back. He sails across
the room, lands flat on his back. Now...

SHOVEL GUY

makes an appearance. He hammers his shovel at West's
groin, over and over. (West is in a crab position and
backs up to avoid this.) West finally gets a kick in
-- it does a moderate amount of damage.

Wrench Guy appears and swings his huge wrench at West's
head. West escapes it, barely...

Knife Guy thrusts a side-kick at West's chest, but West
catches his foot, holds on for dear life.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 109B.

202 CONTINUED: (2) 202

Wrench Guy is inbound, with wrench in hand. He swings
on West, but West blocks it with Knife Guy's leg... OUCH!
West punches both of them. Wrench Guy tumbles OUT OF
FRAME.

West stands. Looking for a way out, but... no luck...
Shovel Guy attacks. West ducks and the shovel connects
squarely with Knife Guy's blades. West crouches and
throws two simultaneous punches, each connecting with a
set of jewels.

West stands, follows it up with a right cross and left
hook and these two jokers wind up OUT OF FRAME.

Now... the Wrench Guy is on his feet and he's pissed!
He attacks West, lands a solid kick to the chest and
West flies backward toward a...

HANGING CHAIN

which he grabs. He scales the gears, gets a solid grip,
then swings, a huge arc across the room, gaining momentum,
and kicks Shovel Guy and Wrench Guy at the same time! Off
their feet they go, slamming onto the metal floor.

West lands. Knife Guy attacks. West uses the chain to
block the blades which are flying at him, left and right.
Sparks fly. West manages to wrap the chain around one of
the knives, locks it down, and heaves it into the gears...
the blade snaps.

WEST
No more Mister Knife guy!

West drops a stiff right-cross on the chin of the Knife
Guy... wobbles his legs a bit. But before West can follow
up...

ANOTHER BLADE SHOOTS OUT

to replace the broken one. It stops about a half-an-inch
from West's nose.

A struggle ensues, but West manages to wrap the chain
around Knife Guy's neck and string him up.

West throws a kick to his back... Knife Guy, hanging by
his neck, flies through the belly... (the chain is on a
track)... and out of the mouth of the beast, down into
the abyss, chain and all.

Shovel Guy springs to his feet and swings on West. West
grabs the shovel and they struggle for possession...

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 109C.

202 CONTINUED: (3) 202

Wrench Guy comes out of nowhere and wants a piece of the
action. But West uses the shovel to deflect the swing-
ing wrench... sparks fly.

West gains sole possession of the shovel and mule-kicks
Shovel Guy OUT OF FRAME. West spins just in time to
land a crippling blow to Wrench Guy's back.

Shovel Guy grabs the shovel. He and West tug-o'-war again.
West ducks under the shovel and moves back-to-front with
him. West elbows him in the ribs. He responds by putting
West in a choke hold. West swings the shovel wildly but
hits his target -- shovel Guy's head!

West steps back, gets his footing and, for good measure,
whacks him in the back.

Wrench Guy attacks. West defends himself with the shovel
and lands a stiff kick to his stomach. Wrench Guy goes
down...

West turns, hits Shovel Guy in the chest with the shovel
and he goes down...

Wrench Guy sneaks up on West from behind and swings at
his head. West, on instinct, lifts the shovel and blocks
the deadly blow at the last second.

West has now found his rhythm...

He swings and shovel and connects with... first, the
foot, then the chin, and last but not least, the head --
BOINK! West drops the shovel and, World Wrestling
Federation style, picks him up and hurls him into the
space between the gears. We won't see him anymore!

West pivots and WHACK!... Shovel Guy plants a neat
little roundhouse kick squarely on West's jaw. West
backs up and catches another in the stomach. Then...

Shovel Guy really shows what he's made of...

He does a series of jump-kicks, round-houses and fan-
kicks into the air. All perfectly timed, all deadly.

SHOVEL GUY
I learned that from a Chinaman.

West, without missing a beat, steps on the shovel, which
flips into his hand and -- WHACK! -- lands a clean one
right on the top of Shovel Guy's melon.

WEST
I just made that up.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 109D.

202 CONTINUED: (4) 202

Shovel Guy reels back and tumbles over the railing,
through the hole and he's gone...

WEST
Don't forget your shovel!

West casts the shovel out into the abyss.

WEST
(upward)
Is that all you got for me,
Loveless?!

West, exhausted, turns and sees...

METAL HEAD

all seven feet of him. The top of his head is a metal
plate. Extending downward, encircling his eyes. West
soaks him in, sighs.

WEST
Uh, I just threw my shovel out.
So this really isn't fair. If
you don't mind, I'd like to...

West, at lightning speed, throws a sucker-punch/spin-
ning back-fist to Metal Head's jaw... PING! That one
really hurt... West's hand, that is. Metal Head isn't
fazed a bit. West throws another shot, this time to
the gut... PING! Then a kick to the groin... PING!!!

WEST
(incredulous)
Noooo.

Metal Head has had enough. He effortlessly picks West
up by his lapels and flings him across the room. West
tumbles, and lands right next to...

WRENCH

He picks it up and starts swinging! A shot to the body
... PING! Then another... PING! Then another... PINGGGG!
Metal Head lurches forward, absorbing each blow with not
so much as a twitch of the eye. West furries... PING!
PING! PING! PING!... nothing! He goes for the head...
PINNNNNNGGGG!... nothing! West is out of time. He's been
backed up as far as he can go. His heels are dangling
over the mouth of the beast, a thousand feet above the
rocky cliff.

WEST
Sorry.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 109E.

202 CONTINUED: (5) 202

Metal head grunts, grimaces and pitches forward, toward
West, slowly but menacingly... West braces himself.

METAL HEAD
Urrrrrrrrrrggggghhh!!!

West side-steps and Metal Head falls face first into
the open air.

WEST
(downward)
You guys just don't get out
enough.

CUT TO:

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Intense, Humorous, Sarcastic

Summary Munitia's assassination attempt on the President is thwarted by the WASP, leading to her demise. West, Gordon, and Grant protect the President but fall captive to Amazonia and Lippenreider. Loveless fails to sway West, resulting in his imprisonment and ensuing battle with various henchmen. West ultimately confronts and defeats Metal Head, escaping his clutches.

Strengths

Intense action sequences
Humorous dialogue
Innovative fight choreography
High stakes and tension

Weaknesses

Some cliched elements in the fight choreography
Slight predictability in the outcome of certain confrontations

General Critique

The scene is action-packed and intense, with a lot of physical combat and high stakes.
There are multiple characters involved in the fight, which can make it challenging to follow the action and keep track of who is doing what.
The dialogue is a mix of humor and tension, which adds some depth to the scene but can also be a bit jarring at times.
The fight sequences are well-described, but there are moments where the action feels a bit repetitive or predictable.
The introduction of new characters like Metal Head adds an element of surprise and danger to the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider streamlining the action to make it easier for the audience to follow and stay engaged.
Try to vary the fighting techniques and outcomes to keep the audience guessing and prevent the action from becoming monotonous.
Focus on the emotional stakes of the fight to add depth to the scene and make the audience more invested in the outcome.
Consider adding more visual descriptions to enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and action.
Explore ways to build tension and suspense throughout the scene to keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a perfect blend of action, humor, and tension. The innovative fight sequences and unexpected developments keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a high-stakes fight in a dangerous environment is executed brilliantly. The use of unique weapons and fighting styles adds depth to the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the intense fight between the protagonist and multiple adversaries, leading to a climactic showdown. The progression of the fight keeps the audience invested.

Originality: 9

The scene features unique and inventive fight sequences, with unexpected twists and turns that keep the audience engaged.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially West, are portrayed as resourceful and resilient in the face of danger. Their unique personalities shine through in their actions and dialogue.

Character Changes: 7

West's character undergoes a transformation as he faces overwhelming odds and must rely on his skills and resourcefulness to survive. This experience shapes his character.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to redeem himself for past mistakes and prove his worth to himself and others.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to defeat the antagonists and escape from their control.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and physical, with multiple adversaries challenging the protagonist. The high stakes and life-threatening situation raise the tension.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in the scene is strong and challenging, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes in the scene, including the protagonist's life being in danger and the intense physical confrontation, heighten the tension and keep the audience engaged.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by showcasing the protagonist's resilience and determination in the face of danger. It sets up further challenges and developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the fight sequences.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between loyalty to oneself and loyalty to a tyrannical leader. The protagonist values freedom and individuality over submission to authority.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a mix of emotions, including excitement, tension, and humor. The audience is emotionally invested in the outcome of the intense fight.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty and adds to the humor and tension of the scene. It reflects the characters' personalities and motivations effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of action, dialogue, and description.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard screenplay formatting conventions, making it easy to read and visualize.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional action sequence structure, with escalating stakes and a clear goal for the protagonist.

202A INT. TARANTULA - BELOW DECK - DUSK 202A

West slowly gets up. Loveless is about to roll over
him. He jumps up in the air, grabs onto an overhead
strut, reverses and shoves the wheelchair off the ramp
jamming the wheels.

A smile comes to West's face as he watches Loveless's
frustrated attempts at going forward and backward.

WEST
When you get right down to it,
Loveless, you just can't beat
a good pair of legs.

LOVELESS
(thin smile)
You're obviously not a poker
player, Mr. West...

Loveless presses a button, the sound of MECHANICAL GEARS
ENGAGING. Suddenly four metal legs appear from underneath
the wheelchair, raising his body to a height of six foot ten.

LOVELESS
Two pair always beats a pair.

West stares up at him slack-jawed. Loveless rolls up his
sleeves, steps away from the wheelchair ready to fight.

LOVELESS
Now... Was it someone particularly
close to you who perished in that
military action?

West responds with a roundhouse kick to the chin that
makes Loveless spin around on the platform of his chair.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 110.

202A CONTINUED: 202A

LOVELESS
(stunned)
Hmmm. Well, that hit a nerve.

Loveless imitates West by kicking with a lightning flash
of an alloy leg. It's a rib cracker that sends West
sprawling.

LOVELESS
A mother, perhaps? A father?

CLOSE - WEST'S HAND

He's just trying to get up when a cleated metal foot
stomps down with hundreds of foot pounds per square inch.
As West screams in pain...

203 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DUSK 203

Gordon tries to come to West's aid, but Amazonia points
a gun barrel at his temple. Gordon can only watch
helplessly as...

204 INT. TARANTULA - BELOW DECK - DUSK 204

Loveless begins a metallic-flamenco, hands on his hips,
his piston-like legs kicking West's body and head.

LOVELESS
It feels so good to stretch my
legs.

(CONTINUED)
111.

204 CONTINUED: 204

West can't take much more of this, he's about to pass
out. Loveless lowers his alloy foot over West's head and
begins to crush it like a grape.

LOVELESS
I likes to beat my feet on the
Mississippi mud!

205 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DUSK 205

Gordon watches in a tortured sweat as his partner tries
to hold off the metal foot. But he's slowly losing.
Gordon turns to his female captors, throws his arms out
beseechingly. When he does, the derringer comes snapping
out of his sleeve in the device which normally holds his
pen.

GORDON
Stop this violence!

Gordon blinks at the gun. So do Lippenreider and
Amazonia. Grant knows what to say, if Gordon doesn't.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Drop 'em.

They obey, chucking their guns overboard.

206 INT. TARANTULA - BELOW DECK - DUSK 206

West's eyes are popping out of his head, the mechanical
pressure of Loveless's leg.

GORDON (O.S.)
Stop or I'll shoot!

If possible, West's eyes pop even further. Gordon shoot?

NEW ANGLE - LOVELESS

looks up to see Gordon holding the derringer on him from
up above.

LOVELESS
You expect to kill me with that
little pea shooter?

GORDON
If I have to. Yes.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 10/7/98 112.

206 CONTINUED: 206

LOVELESS
Why is it, that I'm unafraid?
(chuckles)
I believe you gentlemen are the
polar opposites of a moral
dilemma and I'm stuck in the
middle. On one end, we have
Mr. West, a man of primitive
vigours uncomplicated by
intellect. And on the other,
there's Mr. Gordon. A man of
ideas, but unlike myself, lacks
the passion to kill for them.
He'd like to be able to act his
way out of it. And for some
reason when he's actin', someone
always seems to get killed.

Loveless puts more pressure on West's head, he groans.
Gordon aims.

WEST
(gasps)
Shoot him, Gordon...!

LOVELESS
I'm right about you, aren't I,
Gordon? And that's why I'm
gonna kill your friend here.
Then I'm going to kill you.

POP! The SHOT startles Loveless, West and even Gordon.
But when Loveless realizes that he's not hit, he laughs.

LOVELESS
After all that, you missed.

GORDON
Not exactly.

He gestures down Loveless's legs to a punctured metal
tube that's spraying a stream of hydraulic fluid all over
the deck -- rendering the foot on West's head, powerless.
West gets out from under, rubs his neck to regain
circulation.

WEST
Better than a fountain pen, don't
you think.
(nods behind Gordon)
By the way, your chivalry's about
to be tested.

Gordon turns to see...

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 7/1/98 113.

206 CONTINUED: (2) 206

ANGLE - AMAZONIA AND LIPPENREIDER

Charging him. They smash into him, driving him to the
rail. As they pummel him, trying to throw him over,
Gordon realizes this is no time for passivity. He
retaliates with a series of chops and kicks that would
make West proud. Over the rail, goes Lippenreider. In
that split-second before she drops, Gordon mouths
"bye-bye."

Before he can savor the moment further, Amazonia clubs
him from behind. Gordon whirls and hits her so hard it
surprises them both. Over the railing she goes! As
Amazonia hovers there, President Grant gives her the
kick in the pants she needs to go sailing.

PRESIDENT GRANT
(to Gordon, impressed)
We'll be joining them in a moment
if you can't stop that thing!

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Humorous

Summary West faces off against Loveless, who reveals towering mechanical legs, but is overpowered. James assists, facing threats from Amazonia, while Gordon and Loveless battle above. West urges Gordon to shoot Loveless, but Gordon disables the leg instead, aided by President Grant, who defeats Amazonia, securing victory for West and James.

Strengths

Intense action sequences
Sharp dialogue
Character development
High stakes

Weaknesses

Some cliched elements in the dialogue
Predictable outcome of the conflict

General Critique

The scene lacks clear and concise action descriptions, making it difficult to follow the sequence of events.
The dialogue between Loveless and West feels forced and lacks depth, making the interaction less engaging.
The scene transitions abruptly between different character actions and settings, causing confusion for the reader.
The visual elements, such as the mechanical legs and the fight scenes, are not vividly described, making it hard to visualize the action.
The tension and suspense in the scene could be heightened with more detailed descriptions of the characters' emotions and reactions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Provide clearer and more detailed action descriptions to improve the flow of the scene.
Enhance the dialogue between Loveless and West to add depth and authenticity to their interaction.
Smooth out the transitions between different character actions and settings to improve the coherence of the scene.
Add more vivid visual descriptions to help readers visualize the mechanical legs and the fight scenes more effectively.
Focus on building tension and suspense by delving deeper into the characters' emotions and reactions throughout the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is action-packed, with high stakes, intense conflict, and a good balance of drama and humor. The innovative use of Loveless's mechanical legs adds a unique element to the fight scene.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using mechanical legs in a fight scene is creative and adds an interesting dynamic to the confrontation between West and Loveless.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly in this scene as the characters face off in a high-stakes confrontation with Loveless. The tension is palpable, and the outcome is crucial for the story.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its use of physical comedy, unique character traits like Loveless's mechanical legs, and the unexpected twist of Gordon using a hidden gun to stop the violence.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially West and Loveless, are well-developed and their personalities shine through in their actions and dialogue. Gordon's quick thinking and bravery also add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

West and Gordon both show growth and resilience in the face of danger, with Gordon stepping up to protect West and West demonstrating his fighting skills and determination.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to defeat Loveless and protect himself and his partner, Gordon. This reflects his desire for justice, survival, and loyalty to his friend.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to physically defeat Loveless and stop his violent actions. This reflects the immediate challenge of overcoming a powerful opponent.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between West and Loveless is intense and physical, adding to the high stakes and suspense of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Loveless presenting a formidable challenge to the protagonist. The audience is unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are incredibly high in this scene, with the characters' lives on the line and the outcome determining the course of the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by resolving a major conflict between the characters and setting the stage for the final showdown with Loveless.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists, like Gordon using a hidden gun and the creative way West and Gordon defeat Loveless.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between Loveless's ruthless pursuit of power and West's sense of justice and loyalty. Loveless represents a lack of empathy and morality, while West values integrity and protecting others.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions from tension to relief, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' fates.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the characters' motivations and conflicts effectively. It adds to the tension and humor of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes. The audience is invested in the outcome of the conflict.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension, delivering action sequences, and balancing dialogue with physical movement. The rhythm keeps the audience engaged.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, dialogue formatting, and action beats.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and action sequences are well-crafted.

207 EXT. TARANTULA - BRIDGE - DUSK 207

Gordon turns to see Grant gesturing at the horizon. His
eyes widen when he sees the flat mesa they are travelling
comes to a sudden halt at a 1000 foot cliff.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Let's see how clever you really
are...

Gordon frantically starts pulling this lever and that.
Meanwhile...

208 OMITTED 208

209 INT. TARANTULA - BELOW DECK - DUSK 209

West approaches Loveless. There's going to be some
payback.

WEST
For almost four long years I've
been trackin' the animal
responsible for the Massacre at
New Liberty. And I hear that's you...

But with the hydraulic fluid, the fight has gone out of
Loveless. His mechanical legs shrivel before our eyes,
and Loveless sinks helplessly to the deck like the
Wicked Witch.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 114.

209 CONTINUED: 209

Whimpering pathetically, he uncouples his body from the
useless contraption and slowly backs up to his wheelchair
that's stuck against the railing.

LOVELESS
Please, West... show a little mercy
to a poor defenseless cripple...

WEST
(imitating his accent)
Now, now, Doctor... let's not cloud
this otherwise sunny day with that
poor-ol'-me-cripple-talk. Just
buck up and say to yourself, 'I am
indefatigably hard-pumpin' and
steely!'

Loveless gets to his wheelchair and collapses in it.

LOVELESS
After I kill ya, I swear I'm gonna
boil you down to axle grease!

WEST
Now that's the ol' doctor I know!

But the smile fades from West's face when he sees Loveless's
shotgun armrests pop out leveled at his waist.

West has nowhere to go but up as he leaps to grab the
I-beam over his head just as Loveless pulls the triggers
on both BARRELS... BOOM! BOOM!

The SHOTS almost blow the heels off West's boots. They
PUNCTURE a PIPE behind him. Steam spews out. This is
going to have an effect on something.

210 EXT. TARANTULA BRIDGE - DUSK 210

Gordon and Grant are trying different combinations to
stop the thing. Finally, Gordon throws up his hands.
He doesn't know what else to try when suddenly the
Tarantula seizes up as if it just had a heart attack
and tilts forward.

211 EXT. CLIFF - EDGE - DUSK 211

The Tarantula lurches forward drastically and teeter-
totters on the brink.
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 114A.

212 INT. TARANTULA - BELOW DECK - DUSK 212

The sudden stopping jerks Loveless' wheelchair free.
Despite his frantic efforts, he's rolling toward the
opposite railing. When the wheelchair hits a pool of
hydraulic fluid on the deck, it spins him around 180
degrees.

West jumps up, grabs a girder. The wheelchair spins
under West's legs and then -- CLANK -- it slams into
the railing and wedges there.

213 EXT. CLIFF EDGE - DUSK 213

The impact makes the mighty beast jerk forward, inches
away from toppling over.

214 INT. TARANTULA - BELOW DECK - DUSK 214

The jolt shoots West off the girder. He free-falls
through the belly and out into the open air. Thinking
quickly, he grabs onto the back of Loveless' wheel-
chair. His arms nearly torn from their sockets. His
weight causes the wheelchair to shift, now leaving it
hanging on by a thread. West reaches out, grabs the
wheel of the chair and hangs there.

LOVELESS
Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.
How did we arrive in this dark
situation?

WEST
I don't know. Guess I'm stumped!

LOVELESS
And I'm so cotton-pickin' afraid
of heights. They just give me the
spooks!

WEST
Ah, don't be afraid, Loveless.
With this being the last leg of
our journey and all, you should
soak in the view, you're really
missing something.

LOVELESS
Mister West, I'm gonna cut this
conversation short...

WEST
Good one, Loveless. I didn't think
of that one.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/99 114B.

214 CONTINUED: 214

LOVELESS
(furious)
Mister West!!! I am faced with a
difficult decision here. On one
hand, there is the overwhelming
love that I have for myself, and
on the other, the raw, seething
hatred I have for you! Now, I
could kill you very easily, just
by pulling this lever...

He moves the joystick. The chair jerks back.

LOVELESS
But, of course, I would die along
with you. I guess the only thing
that I can take comfort in is the
hope that you would hit those
rocks a second before me and I
could enjoy immeasurable bliss
before I vanish.
(moving joystick
back and forth)
What to do, what to do...

West grabs the joystick.

WEST
Allow me to make that decision
easy on you, Loveless. Because
I want to see you dead a hell of
a lot more than I want to live.

LOVELESS
Why is it that I have a sneaking
suspicion, that although you are
as black as the night on the
outside... inside, you are yellow?!

They lock eyes. A beat.

LOVELESS
You don't have it in you, do you...
boy?!

WEST
You were right. Let's cut this
conversation short!

West yanks the joystick back.

(CONTINUED)
WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 4/9/97 114C.

214 CONTINUED: 214

ANGLE - LOVELESS

his eyes widen. The wheels spin for a second, finally
catch, and in a flash, Loveless and West free-fall into
space.

LOVELESS
Weeeeeeeeeest!!!!

A beat, then...

ANGLE - CHAIN

which is dangling from the belly of the beast. At
the bottom of the chain is the Knife Guy from the fight
scene. West is hanging on to his ankles, enjoying a
vindictive, belly laugh.

WEST
(downward)
Now that looked like it hurt.

CUT TO:

215 OMITTED 215

Genres: Action, Adventure, Western
Tone: Tense, Humorous, Dramatic

Summary Gordon and Grant race to stop the Tarantula. West confronts Loveless about the massacre, defeating him in a climactic duel. West and Loveless free-fall, leaving West dangling from the Knife Guy's ankles.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Intense conflict
Clever resolution

Weaknesses

Some cliched elements
Lack of significant character development

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the high stakes involved.
The dialogue between West and Loveless feels forced and lacks depth, making the interaction less impactful.
The resolution of the conflict between West and Loveless is anticlimactic and lacks a satisfying payoff.
The humor injected into the scene detracts from the gravity of the situation and undermines the tension.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Increase the intensity of the confrontation between West and Loveless to heighten the stakes and create a more engaging climax.
Revise the dialogue to make it more impactful and reflective of the characters' motivations and emotions.
Consider adding more suspenseful elements to the scene to keep the audience on the edge of their seats.
Focus on building a more dramatic and satisfying resolution to the conflict between West and Loveless.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is action-packed, with a good balance of tension, humor, and drama. The resolution is satisfying and clever.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a final showdown between the hero and the villain, involving mechanical contraptions and a high-stakes situation, is well-executed.

Plot: 7

The plot is engaging and moves the story forward effectively, leading to a climactic confrontation between the main characters.

Originality: 9

The scene features unique situations like Loveless's mechanical legs and the cliffhanger moment. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their interactions add depth to the scene. Their personalities shine through in their dialogue and actions.

Character Changes: 6

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, the interactions between the characters reveal more about their personalities and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

West's internal goal is to seek revenge on Loveless for the Massacre at New Liberty. This reflects his desire for justice and closure.

External Goal: 7

The external goal is to stop the Tarantula from falling off the cliff. This reflects the immediate challenge the characters are facing.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the hero and the villain is intense and drives the scene forward. The high stakes add to the tension and drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Loveless posing a significant threat to West and creating suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes in the scene, including the potential death of the hero and the villain, add to the tension and excitement.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by resolving a major conflict and setting up the next stage of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists and turns, like Loveless's shotgun armrests and the cliffhanger moment.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between Loveless's self-love and hatred for West. It challenges West's values of justice and determination.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions from the audience, including suspense, humor, and satisfaction.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters. It adds to the tension and humor of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, witty dialogue, and suspenseful moments that keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of action, dialogue, and suspense that keeps the audience engaged.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.

216 EXT. PROMONTORY POINT - CLOSE ON GOLDEN SPIKE - DAY 216

It's driven finally into place to a rousing cheer. PULL
BACK to reveal that President Grant, his sleeves rolled
up, has delivered the blow.

Hats in the air, handshakes, pictures. The specter of
Loveless and his evil plot a fading memory.

Grant turns to West and Gordon.

PRESIDENT GRANT
Gentlemen, I now strongly believe
the United States is going to be
truly united. Not because of this
railroad... but because of you.

(CONTINUED)
THE WILD WILD WEST - Rev. 7/1/98 115A.

216 CONTINUED: 216

Grant scans the crowd, every race seems present at this
momentous event. He reaches into his pocket, takes out
two silver shields.

PRESIDENT GRANT
I've signed into law the creation
of an agency whose sole duty is to
protect the President and the
country from lunatics like
Loveless.
(pins badges on
their vests)
Welcome to the Secret Service,
Agents No. 1 and No. 2.

(CONTINUED)
116.

216 CONTINUED: 216

The President shakes both their hands. Gordon resists
looking down.

GORDON
Uh, just out of curiosity, sir...
who's Agent No. 1?

Grant just shakes his head, some things never change.

PRESIDENT GRANT
I don't think that matters very
much, do you? Gordon? Besides,
you'll have plenty of time to
discuss it on your new assignment.
(hands them piece
of paper)
See you back in Washington.

He snaps off a salute, starts to go as they read it.
Gordon looks up, very troubled.

GORDON
But, sir... what about our train?

PRESIDENT GRANT
(over shoulder)
Well, I'm taking it of course.
Hell, you let Loveless blow up
mine.

As they look at one another in dismay...

RITA (O.S.)
Jim... Arte...?

They turn to see Rita approaching them from a crowd of
scientists. She's looking extraordinarily fetching
in a print dress and parasol.

West and Gordon sit up like dogs.

WEST
Rita! You look great.

GORDON
Ravishing, a vision.

She hugs West, she hugs Gordon. Who's it gonna be?

RITA
I just wanted to thank you for
everything you've done for me...
before I went back home to Texas.

(CONTINUED)
117.

216 CONTINUED: (2) 216

WEST
Texas? Why're you going back
there? Why don't you come with me
back to Washington?

GORDON
Or better still, come with me to
Washington. I could introduce you
to people I still know in the
theater...

WEST
She's not really an entertainer,
remember?

RITA
(intercedes)
I can't go with either of you.

She looks from one crestfallen suitor to the other.

RITA
It's not that you both don't have
your attributes.
(to Gordon)
You're so sophisticated and such a
wonderful cook.
(to West)
Jim, you're good with a gun... and
have great legs.
(to both)
And you're both so brave. But...
I'm afraid I haven't been
completely honest with you.

WEST AND GORDON
Uh-oh...

RITA
Professor Escobar's not my father.
He's my husband.

She gestures to a handsome goateed Latino waiting for
her. Shaved and cleaned up, he's not the old man we
thought.

WEST
Rita... why didn't you just tell
us that in the first place?

(CONTINUED)
118.

216 CONTINUED: (3) 216

RITA
Well, I was going to... but would
you have really brought me along
if I said I was married?
Honestly.

Neither West nor Gordon knows what to say.

RITA
I didn't think so.

She turns and starts to walk away. Stops and smiles.

RITA
At least you still have each
other.

As West and Gordon look at one another...

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Western
Tone: Humorous, Light-hearted, Reflective

Summary President Grant drives the golden spike, marking the completion of the transcontinental railroad. He establishes the Secret Service and designates West and Gordon as Agents No. 1 and No. 2. Rita reveals that Professor Escobar is her husband, not her father, and rejects the romantic advances of both West and Gordon. Gordon expresses concern about their abandoned train, but Grant intends to take it for himself.

Strengths

Humorous dialogue
Character development
Closure for main storyline

Weaknesses

Lack of intense action or suspense

General Critique

The scene feels a bit rushed and lacks depth in character interactions and development.
The dialogue between President Grant, West, Gordon, and Rita could be more engaging and meaningful.
The resolution of Rita's reveal about her husband feels abrupt and could have been handled with more emotional impact.
There is a missed opportunity to explore the dynamics between West and Gordon as they are inducted into the Secret Service.
The scene could benefit from more subtext and layers to add complexity and depth to the characters' relationships.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more emotional weight to Rita's reveal about her husband by allowing the characters to react and process the information.
Expand on the interactions between President Grant, West, Gordon, and Rita to deepen their relationships and add more depth to the scene.
Explore the conflicting emotions and reactions of West and Gordon upon learning about Rita's husband to create a more nuanced and realistic response.
Add moments of reflection and introspection for the characters as they receive their badges and reflect on their new roles in the Secret Service.
Enhance the dialogue to reveal more about the characters' motivations, desires, and conflicts, adding layers to the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively wraps up the main storyline while introducing new elements and providing closure for the characters. The mix of humor, emotion, and action keeps the audience engaged.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of revealing Rita's true identity and her departure adds depth to the characters and their relationships. The introduction of the Secret Service agency sets up potential future storylines.

Plot: 7

The plot ties up loose ends and sets the stage for potential future adventures. The revelation of Rita's true identity adds a twist to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh twist with Rita's revelation of her marital status, adding authenticity to the characters' interactions.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters show growth and vulnerability in this scene, particularly Rita's decision to reveal her secret and leave both West and Gordon. The banter between West and Gordon showcases their dynamic.

Character Changes: 7

Rita's revelation about her true identity and decision to leave prompts growth and change in both West and Gordon. They must come to terms with her departure.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain their sense of duty and honor despite personal disappointments.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to protect the President and the country from threats like Loveless.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

While there is some conflict in Rita's revelation and the characters' reactions, the overall tone is more reflective and bittersweet.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, keeping the audience engaged.

High Stakes: 4

While there are personal stakes for the characters in Rita's revelation and departure, the overall stakes are not as high as in previous action-packed scenes.

Story Forward: 7

The scene wraps up the main storyline while setting the stage for potential future adventures with the introduction of the Secret Service agency.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to Rita's unexpected revelation, adding a layer of complexity to the characters' relationships.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between honesty and deception, as Rita reveals her true marital status to West and Gordon.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from humor to sadness, as the characters navigate revelations and farewells.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty and engaging, with humorous moments and emotional depth. The banter between the characters adds to the scene's charm.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the mix of humor, drama, and unexpected twists that keep the audience interested.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense leading up to Rita's revelation.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for a screenplay, with clear descriptions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a celebratory event, with a buildup to a surprising revelation.

217 EXT. MONUMENT VALLEY - SUNSET 217

We gaze out over one of those achingly beautiful John
Ford vistas as we hear our heroes voices.

WEST (O.S.)
You know, Arte...

GORDON (O.S.)
What's that, Jim?

WEST (O.S.)
Maybe Rita's right...

Suddenly intruding into the f.g. is a huge metal leg.
Then another LEG CLOMPS down... and the Tarantula comes
INTO FULL VIEW. As our heroes ride slowly into the
sunset.

WEST
Besides... there's a lot of
other women in the world.

GORDON
That's easy for you to say. She
didn't walk off with your best
dress.

FADE OUT.

THE END

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Western
Tone: Humorous, Sarcastic, Tense, Dramatic

Summary As West and Gordon ride into the sunset, a giant metal Tarantula emerges from Monument Valley. They discuss their breakup with Rita and the possibility of other women, acknowledging that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but that it's easier said than done when your ex takes your best dress.

Strengths

Engaging action sequences
Dynamic character interactions
Sharp and witty dialogue
High-stakes conflict resolution

Weaknesses

Some elements may be overly complex for casual viewers
Certain character reveals may feel contrived

General Critique

The transition from the serene Monument Valley sunset to the sudden appearance of the Tarantula feels abrupt and disjointed, lacking a smooth segue.
The dialogue between West and Gordon, while light-hearted, doesn't add much depth or resolution to their characters or the overall story.
The scene lacks a sense of closure or finality, leaving the audience hanging without a clear resolution or emotional payoff.
The visual of the Tarantula coming into view could be more impactful with a build-up or foreshadowing to create tension and anticipation.
The dialogue between West and Gordon, while attempting to inject humor, feels forced and doesn't contribute significantly to the scene or character development.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or resolution for the characters to provide closure to the story.
Enhance the transition from the serene sunset to the sudden appearance of the Tarantula by building up tension or anticipation.
Revise the dialogue between West and Gordon to add depth, emotional resonance, or a sense of finality to their relationship.
Explore ways to visually enhance the reveal of the Tarantula to make it more impactful and memorable for the audience.
Consider incorporating a symbolic or thematic element into the scene to tie back to the overarching themes or messages of the screenplay.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, with a good balance of action, humor, and character development. The stakes are high, and the tension is well-maintained throughout.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a final showdown at sunset with the Tarantula and Loveless is exciting and well-executed. The use of unique gadgets and the setting in Monument Valley add to the scene's appeal.

Plot: 7

The plot is intricate, with multiple twists and turns leading to a satisfying resolution. The progression of the story keeps the audience engaged.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the western genre by incorporating sci-fi elements and focusing on personal relationships. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions drive the scene forward and add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo significant changes during the scene, revealing new aspects of their personalities and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to come to terms with a failed relationship and move on. This reflects their deeper need for closure, their fear of loneliness, and their desire for emotional growth.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to continue their journey and face the challenges ahead. This reflects the immediate circumstances of being on the run from the Tarantula and the challenges of the wild west setting.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the heroes and Loveless, as well as the high-stakes situation, creates intense drama and keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and uncertainty, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and having to make difficult choices. The outcome of the scene has far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, resolving key conflicts and setting up the next stage of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden appearance of the Tarantula and the unexpected turn in the conversation between the heroes.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict is between holding onto the past and embracing the future. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about love, loss, and personal growth.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from humor to tension to satisfaction. The character dynamics and high stakes contribute to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals important information about the characters. It adds humor and tension to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of genres, witty dialogue, emotional depth, and unexpected sci-fi twist.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension, revealing character dynamics, and transitioning smoothly between dialogue and action.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear character cues, dialogue formatting, and scene descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.