KILLING ZOE
Executive Summary
Screenplay Video
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Overview
Genres: Drama, Crime, Thriller, Comedy, Romance, Friendship, Drug, Action
Setting: Contemporary, Paris, France
Overview: The screenplay for "The Biggest Job in French History" earns a commendable overall score of 7.8, reflecting its strong character development, engaging plot, and effective use of conflict. The blend of genres creates a unique and dynamic narrative, while the exploration of themes such as loyalty, betrayal, and redemption adds depth and complexity. However, there are opportunities to enhance the emotional impact, originality, and pacing to elevate the screenplay further.
Themes: Chaos and Violence, Love and Relationships, Identity and Belonging, Power and Corruption, Art and Culture
Conflict and Stakes: Zed and Eric's conflict over Zoey's loyalties, as well as the increasing danger of their heist and the potential consequences for their lives.
Overall Mood: Dark and suspenseful, with moments of violence and humor
Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:
- Scene 6: The scene in which Zed and Zoey have a heart-to-heart conversation about love and loss.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: A bank heist movie set in Paris with a diverse cast of characters and a unique blend of violence and romance.
- Major Twist : The revelation that Eric is HIV-positive and has been taking unnecessary risks.
- Distinctive Setting : The film's depiction of Paris as a dangerous and unforgiving city.
- Genre Blend : The film's unique blend of crime thriller and romance.
- Unique Character : The character of Eric, a complex and contradictory figure who is both charming and ruthless.
Comparable Scripts:
Market Analysis
Budget Estimate:$15-20 million
Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 18-35, fans of crime thrillers and action movies
Marketability: It has a strong cast, a compelling story, and a unique setting, but the violence and drug use may limit its appeal to a wider audience.
The story is well-written and suspenseful, but the lack of a clear protagonist and the nihilistic tone may make it difficult to market to a mainstream audience.
The film's exploration of complex moral themes and its strong performances could generate critical acclaim and word-of-mouth, leading to a successful limited release.
Profit Potential: Moderate, due to its limited appeal but potential for critical acclaim and cult status
Scene Level Percentiles
Emotions Elicited Percentiles
This is a rough estimate of how the average intensity of emotions elicited in this script compare to all scripts in the Vault (all genres).
Higher isn't necessarily better. This is FYI.
Screenplay Analysis
- **Conflict Level**: The screenplay excels in creating a high level of conflict, which is essential for engaging and driving the plot.
- **Stakes**: The high stakes involved in the screenplay add tension and urgency to the narrative, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.
- **External Goal Score**: A strong external goal score indicates a clear and compelling objective for the protagonist, providing a solid foundation for the screenplay's journey.
- **Concept Rating**: The relatively low concept rating suggests that the screenplay's central idea may need further refinement to stand out and captivate the audience.
- **Emotional Impact**: A lower emotional impact score indicates an opportunity to explore deeper emotional connections with the characters and their experiences, enhancing the audience's engagement and resonance.
- **Character Changes**: The screenplay could benefit from stronger character development, with more significant and compelling changes for the characters throughout the narrative.
The higher percentiles in **dialogue** and **conflict level** suggest that the writer may have an intuitive approach to storytelling, prioritizing character dynamics and engaging interactions.
Balancing Elements- Consider strengthening the **concept rating** to create a more distinctive and memorable screenplay that captivates the audience from the outset.
- Focus on enhancing the **emotional impact** to create a more resonant and impactful narrative that deeply connects with the audience's emotions.
- Explore opportunities for more profound **character changes** to add depth and dimension to the characters, making them more relatable and compelling to the audience.
The writer exhibits a blend of intuitive and conceptual strengths, with high percentiles in both **dialogue** and **conflict level** alongside a moderate **concept rating**.
Overall AssessmentThe screenplay has a strong foundation with high conflict levels, clear stakes, and an engaging writing style. By addressing the areas for improvement, particularly in concept development and emotional impact, the writer can elevate the screenplay's potential to captivate and resonate with audiences.
How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library
|
|
Percentile | Before | After |
---|---|---|---|---|
Script Characters | 9.25 | 97 | Memento: 9.00 | fight Club: 9.25 |
Script Structure | 8.50 | 89 | Hot Fuzz: 8.25 | the dark knight rises: 8.50 |
Scene Pacing | 8.38 | 64 | The Founder: 8.36 | Inglorious Basterds: 8.38 |
Script Conflict | 8.00 | 64 | Swingers: 7.75 | face/off: 8.00 |
Scene External Goal | 7.42 | 63 | a few good men: 7.40 | KILLING ZOE: 7.42 |
Scene High Stakes | 7.9 | 62 | Midsommar: 7.8 | Spy kids: 7.9 |
Scene Conflict Level | 7.9 | 59 | Ghostbusters: 7.8 | True Blood: 7.9 |
Scene Concept | 8.1 | 54 | Gran Torino: 8.0 | Casablanca: 8.1 |
Scene Unpredictability | 7.55 | 52 | groundhog day: 7.53 | KILLING ZOE: 7.55 |
Scene Dialogue | 7.7 | 51 | 500 days of summer: 7.6 | Erin Brokovich: 7.7 |
1 | 50 | - | The Founder: 1 | |
Scene Overall | 8.3 | 50 | Hot Fuzz: 8.2 | fight Club: 8.3 |
Scene Plot | 7.9 | 50 | 2001: 7.8 | the 5th element: 7.9 |
Scene Story Forward | 8.1 | 49 | Inside Out: 8.0 | Erin Brokovich: 8.1 |
Script Visual Impact | 8.00 | 49 | Inside Out: 7.75 | face/off: 8.00 |
Scene Formatting | 8.14 | 45 | Erin Brokovich: 8.13 | the pursuit of happyness: 8.14 |
Script Structure | 8.12 | 45 | 12 Monkeys: 8.11 | Good Will Hunting: 8.12 |
Scene Engagement | 8.93 | 37 | There's something about Mary: 8.92 | Good Will Hunting: 8.93 |
Scene Characters | 8.1 | 33 | Memento: 8.0 | the pursuit of happyness: 8.1 |
Scene Originality | 8.57 | 33 | 500 days of summer: 8.56 | The Founder: 8.57 |
Scene Character Changes | 6.4 | 30 | 2001: 6.3 | the 5th element: 6.4 |
Scene Emotional Impact | 7.2 | 24 | House of cards pilot: 7.1 | the 5th element: 7.2 |
Overall Script | 7.80 | 22 | LA confidential - draft: 7.79 | True Blood: 7.80 |
Script Emotional Impact | 7.25 | 14 | Charlie and The Choclate Factory: 7.00 | True Blood: 7.25 |
Scene Internal Goal | 7.98 | 14 | Arsenic and old lace : 7.97 | Schindler's List: 7.98 |
Script Originality | 7.50 | 13 | 2001: 7.25 | scream : 7.50 |
Script Theme | 7.50 | 11 | 2001: 7.25 | the pursuit of happyness: 7.50 |
Script Premise | 6.75 | 5 | 500 days of summer: 6.50 | LA confidential - draft: 6.75 |
Writer's Voice
Summary:The writer's voice in this screenplay is characterized by its unique blend of languages, cultural references, and subtle humor in dialogue. This voice is further enhanced by the writer's ability to create vivid descriptions of setting and atmosphere, as well as their use of fast-paced action and suspenseful plotlines.
Best representation: Scene 3 - Unexpected Visitor. This scene best represents the writer's voice because it showcases their ability to create complex and introspective dialogue, as well as their skill in developing nuanced and believable characters. The scene also highlights the writer's use of subtle humor and cultural references, which are key elements of their unique voice.
Memorable Lines:
- Oliver: Freeze motherfucker! (Scene 24)
- Eric: You think we're fucking amateurs? You think we're stupid? I've got news for you...we planned ahead my friend! (Scene 25)
- Eric: You want to fuck with me!? I'll show you what happens to people who fuck with me! (Scene 34)
- Eric: The fucking police won't budge. I kill a man and they don't care. They say they don't make deals with terrorists. It really fucks up my plan. (Scene 35)
- Eric: Oh fuck it doesn't matter! Here you get the death penalty just for robbing a federal bank. (Scene 26)
Writing Style:
The screenplay exhibits a distinctive blend of gritty realism, sharp dialogue, and complex character interactions, creating a captivating and intense cinematic experience. The writing style effectively conveys the characters' inner conflicts and moral dilemmas through authentic and nuanced conversations, while the fast-paced action sequences and unpredictable plot twists maintain a high level of suspense and engagement.
Style Similarities:
- Quentin Tarantino
- Christopher Nolan
Story Shape
Emotions Elicited
Engine: Claude
Consider
Executive Summary
Killing Zoe is a crime thriller that follows Zed, a skilled safecracker, who is recruited by his old friend Eric to participate in a bank heist in Paris. The screenplay explores the complex dynamics between the characters, particularly the relationship between Zed and Zoey, a young artist and escort who becomes entangled in the heist. While the screenplay has strong technical elements and compelling character arcs, it could benefit from a more nuanced approach to the depiction of violence and drug use. Overall, the screenplay offers a solid foundation for a taut, suspenseful crime drama with well-developed characters and an intriguing twist on the heist genre.
- The introduction of the character Zoey and her dynamic with Zed is well-executed, revealing Zoey's complexity and artistic aspirations beyond just being a prostitute. high ( Scene 3 (INT. HOTEL ROOM - LATER - DAY) )
- The scene at the Toy Jazz club provides a compelling backdrop and insight into the characters, particularly Eric's musical talents and the group's camaraderie. medium ( Scene 14 (INT. CELLAR - NIGHT) )
- The technical details of Zed's vault-cracking expertise add authenticity and intrigue to the heist storyline. high ( Scene 25 (INT. BANK - RESERVE VAULT AREA - DAY) Scene 26 (INT. BANK - VAULT ANTECHAMBER - DAY) )
- The extensive drug use and related content could be toned down or presented with more nuance to avoid feeling gratuitous. medium ( Scene 19 (INT. ERIC'S FLAT - BATHROOM - NIGHT) Scene 20 (INT. ERIC'S FLAT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) )
- The violence, particularly the graphic depictions of deaths, could be scaled back to maintain tension without feeling exploitative. high ( Scene 24 (INT. BANK - SUB LOBBY HALL - DAY) Scene 25 (INT. BANK - SUB LOBBY - DAY) )
- More backstory and character development for Zed could be provided earlier in the screenplay to better establish his motivations and connection to Eric. medium ( Scene 1 (INT. TAXI CAB - MOVING - DAY) Scene 2 (INT. HOTEL - HALL - DAY) )
- The relationship between Zed and Zoey could be further explored and developed to strengthen their emotional connection and the impact of their separation. high ( Scene 3 (INT. HOTEL ROOM - LATER - DAY) )
- The revelation that the two vaults are connected adds an intriguing twist to the heist plan and highlights Zed's technical expertise. high ( Scene 33 (INT. CALIBER VAULT - DAY) )
- The confrontation and final showdown between Zed, Zoey, and Eric provides a dramatic and tense climax to the story. high ( Scene 40 (INT. BANK - STORAGE/ELEVATOR AREA - DAY) Scene 41 (INT. BANK - RESERVE VAULT AREA- DAY) )
Engine: Gemini
Consider
Executive Summary
KILLING ZOE is a crime thriller with a strong opening sequence, intense action, and a complex dynamic between the two lead characters. However, the screenplay suffers from uneven pacing, underdeveloped characters, and excessive violence. The ending feels abrupt and leaves some plot threads unresolved. With some revisions and a clearer thematic focus, the screenplay has the potential to be a compelling and engaging story.
- Strong opening sequence introduces Zed and establishes his outsider status in Paris. The encounter with Zoey is well-written and creates a complex dynamic between them. high ( Scene 1 Scene 3 )
- Eric's arrival and the subsequent conflict with Zoey adds tension and reveals the darker side of Eric's personality. medium ( Scene 4 Scene 5 )
- The drug-fueled night in Paris effectively conveys the hedonistic and reckless lifestyle of Eric and his crew. medium ( Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 12 )
- The bank heist sequence is intense and suspenseful, with the escalating violence highlighting the stakes and the characters' desperation. high ( Scene 25 Scene 26 )
- Zed's encounter with the dying vault guard adds a layer of emotional complexity and raises questions about morality and mortality. medium ( Scene 33 Scene 35 )
- The pacing of the screenplay is uneven, with some scenes feeling rushed while others drag. high
- Some of the characters, particularly Eric's crew, lack depth and development. medium
- The portrayal of drug use and violence is excessive and at times gratuitous. medium ( Scene 13 Scene 22 )
- The motivations of some characters, particularly Eric, are unclear and inconsistent. medium ( Scene 28 Scene 30 )
- The ending feels abrupt and leaves some plot threads unresolved. medium ( Scene 37 Scene 38 )
- A deeper exploration of Zed's background and motivations would enhance his character arc. medium
- More context and development of the relationship between Eric and Zed would strengthen the emotional impact of their conflict. medium
- The screenplay could benefit from a clearer thematic focus. medium
- The screenplay effectively captures the atmosphere of Paris and the seedy underbelly of the city. medium
- The dialogue is often sharp and witty, with a distinct Tarantino-esque flavor. medium
- The use of the film "Nosferatu" as a visual motif adds a layer of symbolism and foreshadowing. low ( Scene 3 )
Screenplay Insights:
Premise: 6.75, The screenplay's premise, centered around a bank heist on Bastille Day, establishes a clear foundation for an action-packed narrative with a diverse cast of characters. However, the premise lacks significant originality and could benefit from further exploration of the cultural and historical significance of the setting, as well as a deeper dive into the motivations and backstories of the characters. See More
Structure: 8.5, This well-written screenplay effectively uses a traditional narrative structure to craft a compelling heist thriller. The plot is engaging, building tension through escalating conflicts, and features a mix of emotional depth and action sequences. While the pacing is generally strong, there are a few areas where it could be tightened to enhance audience engagement. Overall, this is a well-executed screenplay with the potential to translate into a thrilling and entertaining film. See More
Theme: 7.50, The screenplay effectively explores themes of isolation, connection, and the search for personal truth. It does so through the compelling narrative and well-developed characters. While the message about the transformative power of human connection is clear, the exploration of isolation could be deepened to enhance the screenplay's thematic depth. See More
Visual Impact: 8.00, This screenplay effectively employs visual imagery to enhance its storytelling, immersing readers in the world it creates. Its realistic yet creative descriptions offer a vivid and engaging experience. It showcases a strong integration between visual elements and the narrative, with visual metaphors further enriching the film's impact. While the overall visual style remains consistent, the screenplay could benefit from more variation and dynamism in the visuals. See More
Emotional Impact: 7.25, The screenplay for "The Biggest Job in French History" has the potential to evoke strong emotions from the audience due to its fast-paced action, suspenseful plot, and well-developed characters. However, there are opportunities to deepen the emotional impact by exploring the characters' inner conflicts, motivations, and relationships in more depth. See More
Conflict: 8.0, The screenplay effectively employs conflict and stakes to drive the narrative and engage the audience. However, it could benefit from further refinement in escalating stakes and solidifying the clarity of central conflicts. Nonetheless, the film's dynamic character relationships and exploration of timely themes add depth and emotional resonance. See More
Originality: 7.5, The screenplay demonstrates a blend of originality and creativity in its subversion of the heist genre, unconventional character dynamics, and introspective exploration of themes. See More
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Summaries
- Zed, an American businessman, arrives in Paris and takes a taxi to his hotel. The friendly taxi driver, Moises Du Bois, attempts to converse with Zed. They discuss Zed's purpose for the trip and his relationship status.
- Zed, the protagonist, arrives at his modest hotel room, Room 6A, and is greeted by a bellboy. The bellboy showcases the room's features, including a large air freight package. He highlights the phone, bathroom, closet, and television controls. After inquiring about the time and receiving a response of approximately 7:50, Zed tips the bellboy, who then departs. Zed then loosens his shirt, lies down on the bed beside the package, removes his watch, and sets it on the bedside table. As the scene concludes, Zed drifts into sleep.
- Zed and Zoey interact in a hotel room, where Zoey reveals her profession as an escort and student. They have a deep conversation about art and personal truths, leading to a moment of understanding and connection. The conflict arises when Zed unintentionally offends Zoey by calling her a prostitute, but it is resolved when he apologizes and they have a heartfelt conversation. The emotional tone of this scene is intimate, introspective, and revealing. The scene ends with Zed and Zoey sharing a soft, understanding kiss, symbolizing their newfound connection and mutual respect.
- Zed and Zoey are asleep in Zed's room when Eric unexpectedly arrives and expresses disapproval of Zoey's presence. Despite Eric's urging to kick her out for safety reasons, Zed decides to let her stay for the night.
- Eric forcefully removes Zoey from the shower, insults her, and throws her out of the hotel room naked. Zed witnesses the incident and expresses disapproval as Eric throws Zoey's clothes and bag into the hall. The tense and uncomfortable scene ends with Eric telling Zed to get dressed to go out, while Zoey continues to yell for her clothes from the hall.
- Eric and Zed drive through the streets of Paris at night, discussing their past experiences and recent activities of bombing fascists. The scene is casual and conversational, with a hint of mystery surrounding Eric's activities. It ends with them continuing their conversation as they drive through the city.
- Eric and Zed enter Eric's messy flat, where they are welcomed by a group of men. The group includes Francois, Ricardo, Jean, Oliver, and Claude. Eric introduces Zed to the group, and Oliver offers him a beer. Zed accepts and the group continues their activities.
- Amidst the chaos of a dirty kitchen, Oliver finds a clean glass and pours himself a beer. As Zed enters, a spider monkey dressed as Uncle Sam jumps on his head, introduced as Enrique by Claude. Claude harasses Zed with the monkey before offering him hash. A lit cigarette thrown at Eric sparks and ignites laughter. Eric mentions the monkey urinating on his albums, then calls Zed into the bedroom. Oliver hands Zed a beer as he goes.
- Eric and Zed discuss a plan to rob the Banque Internationale de Paris on Bastille Day in Eric's messy bedroom. Eric lays out the blueprint of the bank and convinces Zed to participate in the heist, despite his initial doubts. They strategize on how to access the main vault using a secondary vault and decide to execute the heist the next day. The tense and suspenseful tone of the scene is heightened by the time constraint of the tight deadline. The scene ends with Eric suggesting they do heroin before the heist, setting a dangerous and risky tone for the upcoming robbery.
- In this scene, Eric is shown preparing heroin in his bathroom with the help of his friends Francois, Ricardo, and Oliver. Oliver rambles about Star Trek being a metaphor for the human brain while Eric focuses on preparing the heroin for injection. The setting is in Eric's flat, specifically in the bathroom, at night. The conflict revolves around the illegal and dangerous act of preparing and using heroin, which is not resolved in this scene. The tone is dark, intense, and drug-fueled, with dialogue including Oliver talking about Star Trek and Eric and his friends joking about injecting heroin. Visual elements include the preparation of heroin in a spoon, the use of a cotton filter, and the drawing of heroin into a syringe. The scene ends with Eric tapping the syringe to avoid air bubbles and his friends laughing at his comment.
- Zed is tempted by Jean and Claude to try heroin, hash, and beer, but ultimately declines. Eric, Ricardo, and Oliver join them, with Eric injecting heroin. Jean encourages Zed to try heroin by chasing the dragon, and he inhales the smoke. The scene ends with a focus dissolve, indicating a shift in perspective.
- Ricardo speeds through Paris with Eric, Oliver, and Zed, giving Zed a quick tour of the city's landmarks. A rival gang led by Francois, Claude, and Jean races alongside them, creating a sense of tension. The characters discuss their plans to rob a bank on Bastille Day and retire to Monte Carlo, leaving Zed overwhelmed by the speed and excitement.
- A heart-pounding car race unfolds through the streets of Paris under the cloak of night. Jean, the driver, is hellbent on victory, while his companions Claude, François, and Zed engage in reckless maneuvers. Meanwhile, in a separate car, Ricardo and Eric smoke and exchange a joint, unaware of Eric's harrowing secret: he has been diagnosed with AIDS. The race intensifies as the cars weave through traffic, with the characters taunting each other and pushing their limits. As the race reaches its climax, the cars approach the iconic Arc de Triomphe.
- Eric and his friends arrive at a lively jazz club. Eric takes the stage with the band, showcasing his trombone skills as the audience dances enthusiastically. After the performance, Eric reunites with his companions, leaving a lasting impression.
- Eric and Zed drive through the streets of Paris at night, discussing Eric's time studying African philosophy, working at Le Figaro, and bombing fascists. Zed expresses surprise at Eric's activities and is offered a job by Eric. The tone is light-hearted and the scene ends with Zed looking over at Eric.
- Eric and Zed arrive at Eric's messy flat, noticing a dead cat on the landing and a phone at the neighbor's door. Inside, they're greeted by Francois, Ricardo, Jean, Oliver, and Claude, who are playing cards and smoking hash. Eric introduces Zed to the group, and Oliver offers him a beer.
- In a lighthearted encounter at Eric's flat, Zed finds himself amused by Claude's pet spider monkey, Enrique, dressed in an Uncle Sam costume. Despite Eric's playful annoyance at the monkey's bathroom habits, the atmosphere remains jovial. Oliver offers Zed a beer as Eric invites him to the bedroom, adding to the absurdity of the scene.
- In Eric's cluttered bedroom, amidst blueprints and schematics, Eric and Zed meticulously plan a audacious heist targeting the Banque Internationale de Paris on Bastille Day. Eric, with unwavering confidence, lays out the intricate strategy to breach the main vault through a secondary vault, while Zed expresses his concerns about the ambitious timeline. Amidst the tension and suspense, the duo delves into a heated debate over the practicality of the heist, ultimately resolving to proceed with the daring plan.
- Eric is shown making heroin in his bathroom with the help of his friends, Francois, Ricardo, and Oliver. Oliver, who is high, starts talking about Star Trek as a metaphor for the human brain. Eric prepares the heroin, filters it with a cotton ball, and fills a syringe while joking with his friends. The interactions are casual, drug-fueled, and somewhat humorous. The scene ends with Eric tapping the syringe to avoid air bubbles and everyone laughing.
- Eric, Ricardo, Francois, and Oliver join Zed, Claude, and Jean in Eric's flat living room at night. Jean offers Zed heroin, but he declines. Despite Zed's refusal, they pressure him to smoke heroin by inhaling a ribbon of smoke from heated aluminum foil. Zed faces internal conflict as he resists the temptation, while the others indulge in drug use. The scene ends with the conflict between Zed's resistance and the group's pressure remaining unresolved.
- In the heart of Paris, Ricardo navigates Eric's car through the bustling streets, offering a dizzying tour to a stoned Zed, a jovial Oliver, and Eric himself. As they race alongside another car driven by Francois, Claude, and Jean, they zoom past iconic landmarks such as Notre Dame and the Eiffel Tower. Amidst the exhilaration, Zed inquires about Bastille Day, and Eric confirms that it will mark the day of their audacious heist, paving the way for a life of luxury in Monte Carlo.
- Jean and Claude race against Ricardo and Eric in a high-stakes car chase through Paris. While Claude urges Jean to speed up, Eric's car engages in aggressive behavior, including shouting insults and revealing Eric's HIV-positive status. Despite the hostility, the scene ends with Eric's car taking a sharp turn around the iconic Arc de Triomphe.
- Friends gather at a Toy Jazz club in a converted French wine cellar. Amidst lively music and dancing, Eric takes the stage and showcases his exceptional trombone skills. The audience joins in the festivities, creating a vibrant and joyful atmosphere.
- As the bank closes for Bastille Day, a group of robbers led by Eric and Oliver storm inside, taking hostages and subduing the staff. They disable the phones and video surveillance, and after questioning the bank manager, they discover a customer hiding in a safety deposit booth. The hostages are herded together as the robbers prepare to move to the sub lobby hall, with the situation under their control.
- Eric and his crew force the bank manager to open the vault, but he refuses. Eric kills the sub lobby teller and the bank manager when they still won't comply.
- In the tense atmosphere of a bank lobby, Eric ducks into the bathroom as Zed approaches the vault. Francois keeps watch by the windows, while Jean and Ricardo engage in a heated argument about whether the alarm had sounded. Zoey remains motionless on the floor. Unresolved tensions linger as Zed proceeds to open the vault.
- Zed drills into the vault door while Eric injects heroin. Ricardo distracts the hostages with a joke, leading Zoey to notice a gun on the security guard. The guard shoots Ricardo and Francois, prompting Jean to open fire on the hostages, killing several. Claude stops the fleeing hostages as Jean demands an explanation for the shooting.
- After a gunshot, Eric confronts Jean, Claude, and Oliver about bodies and the triggered alarm. Amidst customer protests and Eric's shooting, the group unmasks and learns about the police outside. Oliver panics as Eric orders Jean to kill the police and clean up the bodies.
- Eric and Zed successfully expose the wiring on the vault door. They plan to find the fuse box next.
- In a storage room, Zed locates the fuse box and instructs Eric on how to reset the power. He then prepares a device to unlock the Poseidon vault door, which he does successfully, revealing the passage to the main vault.
- Suspecting shots were fired from an adjacent vault, Zed and Eric abort their attempt to crack the Poseidon vault's combination lock. Eric attaches an explosive to the clay in Zed's case and tosses it into the vault, killing the guard and forcing the vault open.
- As hostages are forced to handle dead bodies, the robbers successfully open the vault. Amidst tension and excitement, they proceed with their plan, leaving one of them to await further instructions at the main vault door.
- In the aftermath of the vault explosion, Zed discovers Eric grinning with a gold bar amidst a vast amount of gold bricks. Eric's excitement contrasts with Zed's caution. As Zed works on the vault door, Eric flaunts the gold to the hostages, escalating tensions. The scene ends with Eric leaving to check on the situation, leaving the hostages uneasy.
- Eric encounters two policemen in the reserve vault area of a bank, shoots and kills them, then pushes one into a manhole. He threatens the assistant manager and forces him to the main entrance at gunpoint, causing panic among the people in the bank. Gunfire is heard outside, leading to a tense and threatening atmosphere. The scene ends with Eric making a threatening phone call.
- Zed finds the barely alive vault guard and unlocks the vault with Oliver's assistance. Eric engages in a violent rampage in the lobby, expressing his fury towards the authorities and hostages. Claude fails to reason with Eric, while Zoey faces threats and insults.
- As the gold theft unfolds, a violent struggle erupts between Eric and Zoey, leading to gunfire and chaos. Eric subdues Zoey, but the situation becomes even more volatile when tear gas fills the bank.
- In a chaotic elevator standoff, Oliver reveals the police presence to Zed. They witness Zoey's arrival, and Oliver attempts to shoot her, but Zed intervenes. Their struggle leads to a fatal confrontation in the lobby. Eric, overcome by jealousy, attacks Zed, leading to his fall down the stairs. Amidst the smoke and gunfire, the gang members engage in a desperate escape attempt as the police close in.
- Inside the bank, Eric cherishes gold bars while Francois alerts him about the approaching police. Eric orders a hostage, but Francois believes it's futile. In the lobby, Jean turns violent, threatening police with his gun, resulting in his death and gunfire piercing the ceiling. Oliver's rampage continues, killing both the sub lobby assistant and Claude despite the assistant's attempt to subdue Claude.
- Zoe and Zed reunite in the sub-lobby, which is filled with tear gas and gunfire. Zed has been injured, and Zoe comforts him. Oliver attempts to take a hostage in the lobby but is killed. Eric escapes in a freight elevator, leaving Oliver behind. Zoe and Zed realize that the downstairs reserve vault is closed and there is no gunfire upstairs. Zoe opens the door to the rear stairs to the lobby level.
- Oliver engages in a shootout with the police in the bank's rear stairs while Zoey leads Zed to safety. However, they encounter Eric in the storage/elevator area, who threatens them with a gun and a knife. A tense struggle ensues between Eric, Zed, and Zoey, with Zed trying to protect Zoey from Eric's violence. The scene ends with Zed urging Zoey to escape as he faces off against Eric, who continues to threaten them.
- Eric threatens Zed and Zoey, leading to a violent fight. Oliver arrives injured and dies. Eric attempts to kill Zed, but French police intervene and shoot Eric dead.
- In the aftermath of a bank robbery, injured survivors Zed and Zoey are assisted by French policemen and paramedics. The scene is chaotic, with bodies scattered around the bank lobby. As they are helped out of the bank, Zed recognizes the body of the robber leader. Zoey suggests going to the hospital, but Zed declines, suggesting her flat instead. They leave the bank together, haunted by the trauma they have experienced.
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Character Eric
Description Eric's character displays inconsistencies in his knowledge of the plan. In sequences 15-18, it appears he forgets details he previously knew about the bank and the heist, creating confusion and raising questions about his competence and the planning of the operation.
( Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 ) -
Character Zed
Description Zed initially expresses concern and disapproval of Eric's violent actions but later participates in the heist despite the escalating brutality, creating a contradiction in his moral stance.
( Scene 25 Scene 32 )
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Description The functionality of the bank's alarm system is inconsistent. Initially, it is stated that only the concierge can activate the alarm. Later, it is implied a silent alarm might have been triggered, and then Eric mentions the alarm "didn't do shit", creating confusion about the security measures and their effectiveness.
( Scene 24 Scene 27 Scene 32 )
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Description The presence of a second security guard inside the Caliber vault is not foreshadowed or explained, and his role in the bank's security protocol remains unclear.
( Scene 24 )
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Description The joke told by Ricardo feels out of place given the tense and violent situation of a bank robbery. While dark humor can be effective, the extended and graphic nature of the joke clashes with the immediate danger and fear experienced by the hostages and the robbers themselves.
( Scene 27 )
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Element Scenes of drug use
( Scene 10 Scene 19 )
Suggestion The detailed scenes of heroin preparation and consumption, while showcasing the characters' habits, could be streamlined or consolidated to maintain pacing and avoid repetition. -
Element Eric's tour of Paris
( Scene 6 Scene 15 )
Suggestion The repetition of the entire tour sequence appears to be an error and should be removed to improve narrative flow.
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
---|---|---|---|
Zed | Zed's character arc in the screenplay follows his journey from a curious and naive young man to a conflicted and resilient individual. Initially drawn into the criminal world by his friends, Zed experiences moral dilemmas, internal struggles, and moments of fear and uncertainty. As the story progresses, he undergoes significant growth, showing resilience, determination, and a willingness to survive. Zed's interactions with Zoey and the challenges he faces lead to a transformation in his character, ultimately finding a sense of gratitude and hope for the future. | The character arc for Zed is well-developed, showcasing his evolution from a curious bystander to a conflicted and resilient individual. However, there could be more emphasis on his internal struggles and moral dilemmas throughout the screenplay to further highlight his growth and development. Additionally, Zed's interactions with other characters could be more nuanced to deepen his relationships and add complexity to his journey. | To improve the character arc for Zed, consider incorporating more scenes that delve into his internal conflicts and moral dilemmas, showcasing his transformation more prominently. Develop his relationships with other characters, particularly Zoey and Eric, to add depth and complexity to his interactions. Provide moments of introspection and vulnerability for Zed to allow the audience to connect with his emotional journey on a deeper level. |
Zoey | Zoey starts as a young woman balancing her roles as a student and an escort, using her art as a form of personal exploration. Throughout the feature, she faces escalating danger and chaos, leading to a transformation where she becomes more resilient, courageous, and determined to protect those she cares about. Zoey's journey culminates in her showing compassion, loyalty, and a sense of survival in the aftermath of a robbery, ultimately revealing her strong-willed nature and quick thinking. | The character arc for Zoey is well-developed, showcasing her growth and transformation in the face of danger. However, there could be more consistency in her emotional state and speaking style throughout the feature. Additionally, more exploration of Zoey's backstory and motivations could add depth to her character. | To improve the character arc, consider establishing a clearer emotional throughline for Zoey, showing her gradual evolution from a vulnerable young woman to a resilient and courageous survivor. Delve deeper into Zoey's past experiences and motivations to provide a more nuanced understanding of her actions and decisions. Ensure that her speaking style remains consistent and reflective of her emotional journey, adding layers to her character development. |
Eric | Eric starts off as a charismatic and daring leader, driven by a desire for power and control. As the story progresses, his ruthless and manipulative nature becomes more apparent, leading to tragic consequences. Ultimately, Eric's greed and impulsiveness result in his downfall, as his actions catch up to him and he faces the consequences of his dark deeds. | The character arc for Eric is well-developed, showcasing his transformation from a charismatic leader to a ruthless and manipulative individual. However, the arc could benefit from more depth and exploration of Eric's motivations and inner conflict. Additionally, the resolution of his arc could be more impactful and satisfying for the audience. | To improve the character arc for Eric, consider delving deeper into his backstory and motivations, providing more insight into what drives his actions and decisions. Show more internal conflict and moral ambiguity within Eric, highlighting the internal struggle between his desire for power and the consequences of his ruthless behavior. Additionally, consider a more nuanced and emotionally resonant resolution for Eric's arc, allowing for a more satisfying and thought-provoking conclusion to his character journey. |
Claude | Claude starts off as a quirky and eccentric member of the group, adding a playful and unpredictable element to the heist. As the situation escalates, he becomes more reckless and impulsive, indulging in criminal behavior without hesitation. However, as the tension rises, Claude's pragmatic and resourceful nature comes to the forefront, and he takes on a more authoritative and strategic role in the group. Ultimately, Claude is faced with a moral dilemma, torn between loyalty to Eric and doubts about their criminal activities, leading to a moment of internal conflict and growth. | The character arc for Claude is well-developed and provides a good balance between his different traits and roles within the group. However, there could be more clarity in his internal struggles and the resolution of his moral dilemma. Additionally, the transition between his impulsive and authoritative phases could be smoother to enhance the believability of his character development. | To improve the character arc for Claude, consider adding more scenes that delve into his internal struggles and showcase the evolution of his moral dilemma. Provide clearer moments of conflict and resolution to highlight his growth throughout the heist. Additionally, work on creating a smoother transition between his impulsive and authoritative phases by showing the gradual shift in his behavior and decision-making process. |
Oliver | Oliver starts off as the laid-back comic relief of the group, providing humor and light-heartedness. However, as the heist progresses, his impulsive and volatile nature leads to escalating conflicts and moral dilemmas. Oliver's loyalty is tested, and he must confront his own inner turmoil and conflicting loyalties. Ultimately, he must make a difficult decision that will define his character and the outcome of the heist. | The character arc for Oliver is well-developed, showcasing his evolution from a quirky comic relief to a conflicted and morally complex character. However, there could be more consistency in his character traits throughout the screenplay to make his transformation more impactful. Additionally, more exploration of Oliver's backstory and motivations could add depth to his character and enhance the emotional resonance of his arc. | To improve the character arc for Oliver, consider establishing clearer motivations and internal conflicts early on in the screenplay. Develop his relationships with other characters to highlight his loyalty and inner turmoil. Provide moments of vulnerability and introspection to show his growth and transformation. Additionally, consider incorporating flashbacks or dialogue that reveal Oliver's past experiences and how they have shaped his current behavior and decisions. |
Francois | Francois starts off as a loyal but nervous member of the crew, easily overwhelmed by the chaos of the heist. As the story progresses, he becomes more confident and assertive, stepping up to take on a larger role in the criminal activities. However, his loyalty to Eric is tested as he begins to question his motives and ultimately makes a difficult decision that puts him at odds with the group. | The character arc for Francois is well-developed and provides a clear progression for his character throughout the feature. However, there could be more depth added to his backstory and motives to further enhance his complexity and make his decision to go against the group more impactful. | To improve the character arc, consider delving deeper into Francois' past experiences that have shaped his behavior and motivations. Explore his relationship with Eric and the rest of the crew to add more layers to his loyalty and eventual betrayal. Additionally, give Francois more agency in his decision-making process and show the internal struggle he faces when going against the group. |
Ricardo | Ricardo starts off as a thrill-seeking and impulsive criminal who is loyal to Eric. As the story progresses, he begins to question the morality of their criminal activities and starts to feel conflicted about their actions. This internal struggle leads him to reassess his priorities and ultimately make a decision that goes against Eric's plans, showing growth and development in his character. | The character arc for Ricardo is well-developed, but it could benefit from more specific moments or scenes that highlight his internal conflict and growth. Additionally, his transition from a loyal follower to someone who goes against Eric's plans could be more clearly motivated and explored throughout the screenplay. | To improve the character arc for Ricardo, consider adding scenes that delve deeper into his internal struggles and moral dilemmas. Show moments where he questions his loyalty to Eric and the consequences of their criminal activities. Develop his relationships with other characters to further emphasize his growth and transformation. Additionally, ensure that his decision to go against Eric's plans is well-supported and justified within the context of the story. |
Jean | Jean starts off as a mentor figure, introducing Zed to heroin and the criminal underworld. As the story progresses, his dark past and hidden motives are revealed, leading to escalating violence and chaos. Jean struggles with his inner demons and ultimately sacrifices himself for the cause, showcasing his loyalty and dedication to his comrades. | The character arc for Jean is well-developed, showcasing his complexity and inner turmoil. However, the transition from mentor figure to volatile member of the crew could be more clearly defined to enhance the impact of his sacrifice. Additionally, more insight into Jean's motivations and backstory could add depth to his character. | To improve the character arc, consider adding flashback scenes or dialogue that provide insight into Jean's past and motivations. This will help the audience understand his actions and decisions throughout the story. Additionally, focus on the emotional journey of Jean as he grapples with his inner demons and the consequences of his actions, leading to a more impactful and satisfying resolution. |
Theme | Theme Details | Themee Explanation | ||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Chaos and Violence | The film is filled with violence, including shootings, explosions, and beatings. The characters are often in danger, and the world around them is often chaotic. The film explores the effects of violence on individuals and society. | The film suggests that violence is a destructive force that can lead to death, injury, and trauma. It also suggests that violence is often a symptom of underlying social problems, such as poverty, inequality, and injustice. | ||||||||||||
Strengthening Chaos and Violence:
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Love and Relationships | The film explores a variety of relationships, including romantic relationships, friendships, and family relationships. The characters are often struggling to find love and connection in a world that is often chaotic and violent. | The film suggests that love is a powerful force that can help people to overcome adversity. It also suggests that love is often difficult to find and maintain, but it is worth fighting for. | ||||||||||||
Identity and Belonging | The film explores the theme of identity and belonging. The characters are often struggling to find their place in the world. They are often outsiders, and they are often trying to find a sense of belonging. | The film suggests that identity is a complex and fluid concept. It also suggests that belonging is important for people's well-being. | ||||||||||||
Power and Corruption | The film explores the theme of power and corruption. The characters are often struggling to gain or maintain power. They are often willing to do whatever it takes to achieve their goals, even if it means hurting others. | The film suggests that power can corrupt people. It also suggests that corruption can lead to violence and destruction. | ||||||||||||
Art and Culture | The film explores the theme of art and culture. The characters are often involved in the arts, and they often use art to express themselves. The film also explores the role of art in society. | The film suggests that art is a powerful force that can help people to understand themselves and the world around them. It also suggests that art can be a source of beauty and inspiration. |
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
Site | Description |
---|---|
Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
---|---|
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
---|---|
internal Goals | The protagonist's internal goals revolve around his desire for connection, loyalty to friends, and resistance to destructive habits. |
External Goals | The protagonist's external goals include successfully executing a heist, navigating complex social dynamics, and surviving dangerous situations. |
Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict in the screenplay revolves around morality, criminal activities, and the value of human life in high-stakes situations. |
Character Development Contribution: The protagonist's goals and conflicts push him to make difficult decisions, confront personal demons, and ultimately grow as a character throughout the screenplay.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The protagonist's goals and conflicts drive the narrative forward by creating tension, action, and dramatic moments that propel the story towards its climax.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflicts in the screenplay explore themes of loyalty, friendship, power dynamics, moral ambiguity, and the consequences of one's actions, adding layers of complexity and depth to the overall theme.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
Site | Description |
---|---|
Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
---|---|
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall | Concept | Plot | Originality | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
1 - Arrival in Paris | Light-hearted, Conversational, Playful | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 4 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 7 | 2 | 5 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
2 - Zed Checks into His Hotel Room | Confused, Tired, Neutral | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 4 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 6 | 2 | 5 | 5 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | |
3 - A Moment of Understanding | Intimate, Reflective, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
4 - Unexpected Visitor | Intimate, Confrontational, Casual | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
5 - Disrespectful Encounter | Intense, Confrontational, Emotional | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
6 - Midnight Drive Through Paris | Reflective, Casual, Nostalgic | 7 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 5 | 8 | 7 | 4 | 7 | 3 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
7 - Eric's Flat | Dark, Intense, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
8 - Shenanigans at Eric's Flat | Dark, Humorous, Surreal | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 5 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | |
9 - The Heist Plan | Suspenseful, Intense, Exciting, Dark | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
10 - Heroin Preparation | Dark, Intense, Cynical | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
11 - Temptation in Eric's Flat | Dark, Intense, Addictive | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
12 - Midnight Race Through Paris | Intense, Fast-paced, Dark | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
13 - Midnight Race | Intense, Dark, Edgy, Suspenseful | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
14 - Eric Performs at the Toy Jazz Club | Lighthearted, Quirky, Chaotic | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 5 | 8 | 7 | 4 | 7 | 3 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
15 - Midnight Conversations in Paris | Tense, Exciting, Rebellious, Nostalgic | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
16 - Eric's Flat | Dark, Intense, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
17 - The Uncle Sam Spider Monkey | Dark, Humorous, Surreal | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 5 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | |
18 - Planning the Banque Internationale de Paris Heist | Intense, Suspenseful, Dark, Exciting | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
19 - Heroin Preparation in Eric's Bathroom | Dark, Intense, Surreal | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
20 - Temptation in the Living Room | Dark, Intense, Addictive | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
21 - Whirlwind Tour of Paris | Excitement, Recklessness, Humor | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
22 - Parisian Car Chase | Intense, Reckless, Delirious, Dark | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
23 - Jazz Night Out | Excitement, Quirkiness, Camaraderie, Musical | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 5 | 8 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 3 | 5 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
24 - Bank Heist Takes Control | Tense, Exciting, Intense, Suspenseful | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
25 - Vault Standoff | Intense, Violent, Tense, Dramatic | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
26 - Bank Robbery Setup | Tense, Dark, Intense, Suspenseful | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
27 - Hostage Massacre | Tense, Violent, Dark, Suspenseful | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
28 - Bank Heist Chaos | Intense, Tense, Chaotic, Dark | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
29 - Vault Access | Intense, Suspenseful, Tense, Serious | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
30 - Preparations for the Heist | Tense, Exciting, Suspenseful, Determined | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
31 - Assault on the Poseidon Vault | Tense, Suspenseful, Action-packed | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
32 - The Vault Breached | Tense, Dark, Suspenseful | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
33 - The Gold Discovery | Intense, Tense, Dramatic, Violent, Dark | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
34 - Bank Robbery Chaos | Intense, Suspenseful, Confrontational, Dark | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
35 - Vault Breakthrough and Lobby Rampage | Intense, Dark, Violent, Tense, Dramatic | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
36 - Gold Theft and Hostage Crisis Escalate | Intense, Violent, Tense, Dramatic | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
37 - Elevator Shootout | Intense, Chaotic, Violent, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
38 - Bank Heist: Deadly Confrontation | Intense, Violent, Chaotic, Tense, Dramatic | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
39 - Reunion in the Sub-Lobby | Intense, Violent, Chaotic, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
40 - Violent Confrontation in the Bank | Intense, Violent, Tense, Dramatic | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
41 - Violent Confrontation in the Bank Vault | Intense, Violent, Emotional, Suspenseful | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
42 - Aftermath of the Bank Robbery | Intense, Dark, Suspenseful, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 |
Summary of Scene Level Analysis
Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.
Scene Strengths
- Intense atmosphere
- Engaging dialogue
- High stakes
- Character dynamics
- Intense action
Scene Weaknesses
- Limited plot progression
- Lack of significant conflict or emotional depth
- Potential for glorification of drug use and criminal behavior
- Limited character development
- Excessive violence
Suggestions
- Explore more nuanced conflict and emotional depth in characters and plot
- Avoid potentially controversial or stereotypical portrayals of drug use and criminal behavior
- Focus on developing characters more fully and consistently throughout the screenplay
- Use violence sparingly and thoughtfully to ensure it adds to the story rather than detracting from it
- Ensure clear and consistent pacing throughout the story to avoid confusion or overwhelming viewers
- Physical environment: Steeped in the vibrant and distinctive atmosphere of Paris, this screenplay features a diverse array of locations that capture the city's unique character. From the bustling streets and iconic landmarks to the intimate interiors of hotel rooms, apartments, and a converted wine cellar, each setting plays a crucial role in shaping the story's events and characters.
- Culture: The screenplay is rich in cultural elements that reflect the vibrant tapestry of Paris. The mix of French and English dialogue adds authenticity to the setting, with characters embodying the cultural nuances of both worlds. The inclusion of Toy Jazz music, references to French cinema, and the celebration of Bastille Day further immerse the reader in the cultural fabric of the city.
- Society: The screenplay portrays a complex societal structure, exploring themes of violence, crime, and the consequences of one's actions. The characters' involvement in a high-stakes heist and their reckless behavior highlight the dangers and moral dilemmas faced in such situations.
- Technology: Technology plays a vital role in the screenplay, particularly in the context of the heist. The characters' use of blueprints, schematics, electronic devices, and detonators showcases the crucial role technology can play in criminal activities and their pursuit of wealth.
- Characters influence: The world's atmosphere and cultural elements significantly influence the characters' experiences and actions. The chaotic and dangerous nature of the world forces the characters to make difficult choices and confront their own moral boundaries. The cultural nuances and societal pressures shape their interactions and motivations.
- Narrative contribution: The world's elements contribute to the narrative by providing a realistic backdrop for the characters' actions and motivations. The physical environment, such as the labyrinthine bank and narrow streets, adds tension and suspense to the heist sequences. The cultural elements enhance the characters' depth and authenticity, while the societal setting provides a framework for their conflicts and choices.
- Thematic depth contribution: The physical environment, cultural elements, and societal structure in the screenplay collectively contribute to its thematic depth. The claustrophobic and dangerous settings reflect the characters' inner struggles and the consequences of their actions. The cultural nuances explore themes of identity, loyalty, and betrayal, while the societal setting raises questions about morality, justice, and the pursuit of wealth.
Voice Analysis | |
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Summary: | The writer's voice in this screenplay is characterized by its unique blend of languages, cultural references, and subtle humor in dialogue. This voice is further enhanced by the writer's ability to create vivid descriptions of setting and atmosphere, as well as their use of fast-paced action and suspenseful plotlines. |
Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes to the script by adding depth and complexity to the characters, creating a sense of immersion in the story world, and keeping the reader engaged throughout the screenplay. |
Best Representation Scene | 3 - A Moment of Understanding |
Best Scene Explanation | This scene best represents the writer's voice because it showcases their ability to create complex and introspective dialogue, as well as their skill in developing nuanced and believable characters. The scene also highlights the writer's use of subtle humor and cultural references, which are key elements of their unique voice. |
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
Pattern | Explanation |
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Emotional Intensity and High Stakes | |
Character Changes and Emotional Impact | |
High Stakes and Moving the Story Forward | |
Action and Emotional Impact | |
Tone and Dialogue | |
Comedy and Emotional Impact | |
Plot and Stakes |
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
Overall, the provided scenes demonstrate the writer's skill in creating engaging and immersive narratives, showcasing a natural ability for crafting compelling dialogue, building tension, and developing complex characters. However, refining certain writing techniques can further elevate the writer's storytelling abilities.
Key Improvement Areas
Suggestions
Type | Suggestion | Rationale |
---|---|---|
Book | Read 'Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting' by Syd Field | This classic guide provides a comprehensive foundation in screenwriting principles, including structure, character development, and scene writing. |
Screenplay | Study screenplays by acclaimed writers such as Quentin Tarantino, Aaron Sorkin, and Paddy Chayefsky | Analyzing the work of masters can provide valuable insights into effective storytelling, characterization, and dialogue. |
Video | Watch analysis videos on film and television scenes to study pacing, editing, and cinematography | Visual examples can enhance understanding of scene construction and the impact of technical elements on storytelling. |
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
---|---|---|
Heroic Bloodshed | The violence and gore is depicted in a glorified and stylized manner, making it appear heroic and thrilling. | This trope is often used in action movies to make the violence seem more exciting and less disturbing. A common example of this trope is when a character kills an enemy with a single, clean shot, and the blood splatters in slow motion. |
Damsel in Distress | Zoey is presented as a damsel in distress, being rescued by Zed from her attacker and then being protected by him throughout the movie. | This trope is often used in movies and TV shows to create a situation where the male character can be the hero and save the female character. A common example of this trope is when a woman is kidnapped and the man has to rescue her. |
Action Hero | Zed is portrayed as an action hero, with his fighting skills, bravery, and willingness to put himself in danger to save others. | This trope is often used in action movies and TV shows to create a character who is strong, brave, and always ready to fight for what's right. A common example of this trope is James Bond. |
Revenge | Eric seeks revenge on those who wronged him, including Zed, whom he believes betrayed him. | This trope is often used in movies and TV shows to create a character who is motivated by a desire for revenge. A common example of this trope is The Count of Monte Cristo. |
Heist Movie | The movie follows the planning and execution of a bank robbery by a group of criminals. | This trope is often used in movies and TV shows to create a thrilling and suspenseful story about a group of criminals who plan and execute a heist. A common example of this trope is Ocean's Eleven. |
Drug Use and Addiction | Drugs are used by multiple characters in the movie as a means of coping with stress, escaping reality, or enhancing their performance. | This trope is often used in movies and TV shows to create a sense of realism or to explore the darker side of human nature. A common example of this trope is Requiem for a Dream. |
Strong Female Character | Zoey is portrayed as a strong and independent woman, who is able to take care of herself and fight for what she believes in. | This trope is often used in movies and TV shows to create a character who is not defined by her relationship to a male character and who is able to stand on her own two feet. A common example of this trope is Ripley from the Alien franchise. |
Dark and Gritty | The movie is set in a dark and gritty world, where violence, crime, and corruption are commonplace. | This trope is often used in movies and TV shows to create a sense of realism and to explore the darker side of human nature. A common example of this trope is The Dark Knight. |
Violence and Gore | The movie contains graphic violence and gore, including scenes of characters being killed, dismembered, and tortured. | This trope is often used in movies and TV shows to create a sense of shock and awe, or to explore the darker side of human nature. A common example of this trope is Saw. |
Redemption | Zed is given a chance to redeem himself for his past actions by helping to stop Eric and his gang. | This trope is often used in movies and TV shows to create a character who has made mistakes in the past but is given a chance to make things right. A common example of this trope is The Shawshank Redemption. |
Memorable lines in the script:
Scene Number | Line |
---|---|
24 | Oliver: Freeze motherfucker! |
25 | Eric: You think we're fucking amateurs? You think we're stupid? I've got news for you...we planned ahead my friend! |
34 | Eric: You want to fuck with me!? I'll show you what happens to people who fuck with me! |
35 | Eric: The fucking police won't budge. I kill a man and they don't care. They say they don't make deals with terrorists. It really fucks up my plan. |
26 | Eric: Oh fuck it doesn't matter! Here you get the death penalty just for robbing a federal bank. |
Some Loglines to consider:
When a skilled safecracker is recruited by his old friend to participate in a bank heist in Paris, he becomes entangled in a complex relationship with a young artist and escort who is caught up in the dangerous plan. |
A bank heist in Paris goes horribly wrong when a skilled safecracker's loyalty is tested by his old friend, the leader of the crew, and a young woman caught in the crossfire. |
A crime thriller that explores the moral dilemmas and shifting loyalties of a group of friends pulled into a high-stakes bank heist, with a young artist and escort at the center of the conflict. |
In the midst of a daring bank heist in Paris, a skilled safecracker must confront his past, his loyalty to his friend, and his growing feelings for a young woman caught up in the dangerous plan. |
A skilled safecracker's reunion with his old friend leads to a disastrous bank heist in Paris, where he must navigate the complex web of relationships and betrayals that unfold. |
An American safecracker in Paris gets caught up in a violent bank heist orchestrated by his reckless childhood friend, leading to a deadly confrontation. |
A chance encounter with a mysterious French woman forces an American safecracker to question his loyalties and confront the dark side of his past. |
Amidst the chaos of a botched bank robbery in Paris, an American safecracker and a French escort form an unlikely bond as they fight to survive. |
As a violent bank heist spirals out of control, an American safecracker must choose between his loyalty to his childhood friend and his newfound connection with a French woman. |
A descent into the criminal underworld of Paris forces an American safecracker to confront his own morality and the consequences of his actions. |
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Engine: Claude
Consider
Explanation: Killing Zoe is a crime thriller that follows Zed, a skilled safecracker, who is recruited by his old friend Eric to participate in a bank heist in Paris. The screenplay explores the complex dynamics between the characters, particularly the relationship between Zed and Zoey, a young artist and escort who becomes entangled in the heist. While the screenplay has strong technical elements and compelling character arcs, it could benefit from a more nuanced approach to the depiction of violence and drug use. Overall, the screenplay offers a solid foundation for a taut, suspenseful crime drama with well-developed characters and an intriguing twist on the heist genre.
Engine: Gemini
Consider
Explanation: KILLING ZOE is a crime thriller with a strong opening sequence, intense action, and a complex dynamic between the two lead characters. However, the screenplay suffers from uneven pacing, underdeveloped characters, and excessive violence. The ending feels abrupt and leaves some plot threads unresolved. With some revisions and a clearer thematic focus, the screenplay has the potential to be a compelling and engaging story.