the boys (TV)

Executive Summary

Pass/Consider/Recommend/Highly Recommend

This changed recently. Ratings are subjective. So you get two engines' ratings to compare.

Engine: Gemini

Recommend

Explanation: The pilot episode of 'The Boys' is a gripping and darkly humorous deconstruction of the superhero genre. With compelling characters, a fast-paced plot, and a unique satirical edge, the screenplay is sure to capture the attention of audiences.

Engine: GPT4

Recommend

Explanation: The screenplay for 'The Boys' offers a fresh and engaging take on the superhero genre, blending dark humor with complex character development and a provocative narrative. It effectively sets up intriguing plotlines and character arcs that promise a compelling series. While there are areas for pacing and clarity improvement, the unique tone and bold thematic content make this a standout script.

See Full Analysis

Overview

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Superhero, Action, Comedy

Setting: Modern day, New York City

Overview: The screenplay for "The Boys" demonstrates strong potential, boasting a unique premise, engaging characters, and impactful themes that resonate with current industry trends. While certain areas, like pacing and subplot development, could benefit from refinement, the overall quality and marketability of the screenplay are commendable.

Themes: Superheroism and Society, Power and Corruption, Trauma and Resilience, Corporate Influence and Manipulation, Search for Justice, Identity and Authenticity, Friendship and Loyalty, Revenge and Retribution, Hope and Optimism

Conflict and Stakes: The conflict between the Boys and The Seven; the personal stakes for Hughie and Butcher as they seek justice; the moral and ethical implications of unchecked superhero power.

Overall Mood: Dark, satirical, and suspenseful

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

Scene 1: A montage of media images and footage showcasing the popularity and societal impact of superheroes.

Scene 7: Starlight enters the Seven Tower Auditorium for her first public appearance.

Scene 10: Butcher and Hughie access security footage showing A-Train and a fellow superhero mocking Hughie's girlfriend, Robin.

Standout Features:

Unique Hook: A fresh and subversive take on the superhero genre, exploring the dark side of power and celebrity.

Plot Twist : The shocking revelation of Homelander's true nature, exposing the dark secrets lurking beneath the surface of superheroism.

Distinctive Setting : The Seven Tower, a towering symbol of corporate greed and superhero excess, providing a visually striking backdrop for the story.

Comparable Scripts:

Jupiter's Legacy

The Umbrella Academy

My Hero Academia

The Boys

Invincible

The Power

Supernatural

Stranger Things

Locke & Key

Titans

Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$50-70 million

Target Audience Demographics: Young adults and adults interested in superhero fiction, action, and drama.

Marketability: The screenplay has a strong premise, a compelling cast of characters, and a unique blend of action, drama, and satire that will appeal to a wide audience.

The screenplay is well-written and features a timely and relevant story that will resonate with audiences.

The screenplay has a strong potential for commercial success due to its popular genre, star power, and high production value.

Profit Potential: High, due to the potential for strong box office performance, merchandise sales, and streaming revenue.

Scene Level Percentiles

This screenplay shines in its originality, emotional impact, and unpredictability, suggesting the writer's blend of intuitive and conceptual strengths. However, improvements in formatting, internal goal development, and pacing will enhance the overall balance and effectiveness of the narrative.

Script Level Percentiles

**The method of calculating these has just changed**
Characters: 8.1 See More
Premise: 8.8 See More
Structure: 8.3 See More
Theme: 8.4 See More
Visual Impact: 8.2 See More
Emotional Impact: 7.5 See More
Conflict: 7.5 See More
Originality: 8.1 See More

Emotions Elicited Percentiles

Robert McKee: "The audience doesn’t go to the movies to see plot; they go to feel emotion, to be moved."
This is a rough estimate of how the average intensity of emotions elicited in this script compare to all scripts in the Vault (all genres).
Higher isn't necessarily better. This is FYI.

Key Strengths

**Emotional Impact**: The screenplay excels in evoking strong emotions from the audience, with a percentile ranking of 90.08%. This indicates the writer's ability to connect deeply with the characters and convey their feelings effectively.
**Unpredictability**: The screenplay keeps the audience engaged and surprised with its unpredictable plot developments, earning a high percentile ranking of 90.82%. This strength suggests the writer's skill in crafting a compelling and suspenseful narrative.
**Originality**: The screenplay stands out with its unique and innovative premise, earning an impressive percentile ranking of 99.36%. This indicates the writer's ability to create fresh and memorable stories that captivate the audience.

Areas for Improvement

**Formatting**: The screenplay could benefit from improved formatting, with a current percentile ranking of only 40.38%. Ensuring a clean and professional presentation will enhance the readability and overall impact of the script.
**Internal Goal Score**: The screenplay's internal goal development could be strengthened, as indicated by its percentile ranking of 47.44%. Focusing on the characters' motivations and inner conflicts will add depth and relatability to the story.
**Pacing**: The screenplay's pacing may need some adjustment, with a percentile ranking of 48.08%. Balancing scenes and transitions effectively will help maintain a consistent flow and engage the audience throughout the narrative.

Writer Style

The percentile patterns suggest the writer has a blend of intuitive and conceptual strengths. While the high percentile rankings in emotional impact and unpredictability indicate an intuitive approach to storytelling, the strong concept and plot scores reveal a conceptual foundation as well. This combination enables the writer to craft emotionally resonant and captivating narratives.

Balancing Elements

**Concept and Character Development**: While the screenplay excels in concept and plot, the character development could be further emphasized to create a more balanced and engaging story.
**Originality and Structure**: The screenplay's highly original premise could be complemented by a more refined and effective structure to enhance the overall flow and clarity.
**Emotional Impact and Pacing**: The strong emotional impact could be enhanced by optimizing the pacing to ensure a smooth and engaging narrative that keeps the audience invested.

Intuition Level

Integrated

Overall Assessment

The screenplay demonstrates considerable potential with its unique premise, emotionally resonant storytelling, and unpredictable plot. By addressing areas for improvement such as formatting, internal goal development, and pacing, the writer can further refine the script and create a compelling and impactful cinematic experience.

How this was done: Each criteria is ranked in comparison to scripts in our Vault (such as The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.) This allows you to see where you stand compared to other produced scripts for each criteria.

How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library

Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.

Title	Grade	Percentile	Before	After
Scene Originality	9.00	98	Beetlejuice: 8.98	severance (TV): 9.00
Overall Script	8.50	94	Interstellar: 8.46	Erin Brokovich: 8.50
Scene Emotional Impact	8.6	89	Ex-Machina: 8.5	Casablanca: 8.6
Script Premise	8.80	88	V for Vendetta: 8.70	Casablanca: 8.80
Script Structure	8.30	86	Parasite: 8.20	Casablanca: 8.30
Script Visual Impact	8.20	84	Jojo rabbit: 8.10	the boys (TV): 8.20
Scene External Goal	7.56	78	The Greatest Showman: 7.55	the boys (TV): 7.56
Scene Conflict Level	8.2	78	Argo: 8.1	the boys (TV): 8.2
Scene Plot	8.3	78	A Complete Unknown: 8.2	the boys (TV): 8.3
Scene Story Forward	8.5	77	Deadpool & wolverine : 8.4	Casablanca: 8.5
Scene Unpredictability	7.72	75	Get Out: 7.71	the boys (TV): 7.72
Scene High Stakes	8.1	69	Mulholland Drive: 8.0	the boys (TV): 8.1
Script Structure	8.19	66	Inglorious Basterds: 8.18	the boys (TV): 8.19
Script Theme	8.40	66	Memento: 8.30	Titanic: 8.40
Scene Character Changes	7.3	65	A real pain : 7.2	Casablanca: 7.3
Scene Pacing	8.34	64	Ex-Machina: 8.33	the boys (TV): 8.34
Scene Overall	8.5	63	The father: 8.4	Casablanca: 8.5
Script Originality	8.10	62	A Complete Unknown: 8.00	Titanic: 8.10
Script Characters	8.10	61	Pirates of the Caribbean: 8.00	Erin Brokovich: 8.10
Scene Formatting	8.19	58	Manchester by the sea: 8.18	the boys (TV): 8.19
Script Conflict	7.50	53	The King's speech: 7.40	Casablanca: 7.50
Scene Characters	8.3	45	Argo: 8.2	Erin Brokovich: 8.3
Scene Engagement	8.94	43	Argo: 8.93	the boys (TV): 8.94
Scene Concept	8.1	43	Manchester by the sea: 8.0	Casablanca: 8.1
Scene Dialogue	7.6	34	Coco: 7.5	the boys (TV): 7.6
Script Emotional Impact	7.50	27	Sherlock Holmes: 7.40	the pursuit of happyness: 7.50
Scene Internal Goal	8.00	20	KILLING ZOE: 7.98	fight Club: 8.00

Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by its authenticity, humor, grit, and dark satire.

Best representation: Scene 4 - Starlight's Arrival and Presentation. This scene is the best representation of the writer's voice because it perfectly captures the blend of humor and darkness that is characteristic of the screenplay. The scene is funny on the surface, with Homelander mocking the socialites and signing their autographs with a bored expression. However, there is also a darker undercurrent to the scene, as it highlights the superficiality and vapidity of the superhero world. Homelander is bored and uninterested in the people who idolize him, and he uses his fame to manipulate and control them.

Memorable Lines:

Hughie: ‘Laying pipe’ means sex. ‘Laying cable’ means you want me to come to your house and take a shit. (Scene 1)
Hughie: You people say ‘condolences’ and ‘my regrets’ and ‘our sympathies,’ but no one can look me in the fucking eye and say “I’m sorry!” (Scene 3)
Julia Stillwell: It’s a good time to be in the Superhero Business. (Scene 5)
Deep: Hey. You’re here because you’re meant to be here. (Scene 6)
Butcher: Let him be, you invisible cunt. (Scene 15)

Writing Style:

The screenplay exhibits a blend of different writing styles, with a focus on strong characterization, witty dialogue, and complex themes. The writers effectively navigate between humor and serious moments, crafting scenes that are both entertaining and thought-provoking.

Style Similarities:

Joss Whedon
Garth Ennis
Alan Moore

Other Similarities: Other screenwriters mentioned, such as Aaron Sorkin, Damon Lindelof, Alan Ball, Zack Snyder, and Mark Millar, also contribute to the richness of the screenplay's writing style, bringing their unique perspectives to various scenes.

Story Shape

Emotions Elicited

Engine: Gemini

Screenplay Rating:

Recommend

Executive Summary

The pilot episode of 'The Boys' is a gripping and darkly humorous deconstruction of the superhero genre. With compelling characters, a fast-paced plot, and a unique satirical edge, the screenplay is sure to capture the attention of audiences.

Strengths

Hughie and Starlight's character introductions are compelling and instantly establish their contrasting personalities and motivations. high ( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 4 Scene 10 )
The screenplay effectively satirizes superhero culture and corporate greed through witty dialogue and dark humor. high ( Scene 5 Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 12 Scene 14 )
The plot twist involving the Mayor of Baltimore and Compound V adds intrigue and raises questions about the true nature of superheroes. high ( Scene 11 Scene 15 )
The action sequences, particularly the fight with Translucent, are creative and suspenseful. medium ( Scene 9 Scene 16 )
The pacing of the pilot episode is excellent, balancing character development with plot advancement and leaving the audience wanting more. high

Areas of Improvement

The Deep's sudden shift in character from charming to aggressive feels somewhat abrupt and could benefit from more nuanced development. medium ( Scene 8 )
The inclusion of the sexual urges question during Starlight's polygraph feels unnecessary and potentially distracting. low ( Scene 3 )
The motivations and backstory of Billy Butcher remain largely unexplored in the pilot episode, leaving his character somewhat enigmatic. medium

MissingElements

The pilot episode could benefit from a clearer explanation of Compound V and its implications for the superhero world. high
Exploring the emotional impact of Robin's death on Hughie beyond the initial shock and anger would add depth to his character arc. medium

NotablePoints

The brief interaction between Butcher and the Redhead hints at a potential romantic subplot or a deeper emotional side to his character. low ( Scene 13 )
The use of media snippets and social media throughout the screenplay effectively portrays the pervasive influence of superhero culture. medium

Engine: GPT4

Screenplay Rating:

Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay for 'The Boys' offers a fresh and engaging take on the superhero genre, blending dark humor with complex character development and a provocative narrative. It effectively sets up intriguing plotlines and character arcs that promise a compelling series. While there are areas for pacing and clarity improvement, the unique tone and bold thematic content make this a standout script.

Strengths

The screenplay effectively blends dark humor with intense drama, creating a unique tone that sets it apart from typical superhero narratives. high
Strong opening and closing scenes that bookend the episode with compelling hooks that engage the audience immediately and leave them eager for the next episode. high ( Scene 1 Scene 55 )
Excellent character development, particularly for Hughie and Starlight, whose arcs are both compelling and serve as emotional anchors for the audience. high ( Scene 14 Scene 15 )
The screenplay utilizes its ensemble cast effectively, giving each member of The Seven distinct personalities and motives which enhance the plot complexity. medium
Creative use of powers and superhero tropes to explore deeper themes such as corruption, fame, and the moral ambiguity of power. medium

Areas of Improvement

Some scenes may benefit from tighter pacing to maintain momentum, particularly in the middle sections where dialogue-heavy scenes slightly slow down the narrative. medium
The screenplay could further explore the backgrounds and motivations of some secondary characters to enhance audience connection and plot depth. medium
Increase clarity in scenes involving complex superhero powers or technological aspects to ensure all viewers can follow without confusion. low
Some transitions between scenes can be abrupt, needing smoother narrative bridges to enhance flow and coherence. low
The depiction of violence and dark themes, while effective, should be carefully balanced to avoid alienating more sensitive viewers. low

MissingElements

There is a need for more distinct cultural or societal commentary to deepen the thematic layers and relevance of the narrative. medium

NotablePoints

The screenplay's bold approach to deconstructing the superhero genre through a critical, satirical lens is both innovative and provocative. high
The dramatic twist with Homelander at the end effectively subverts typical hero expectations and sets a compelling stage for future conflicts. high ( Scene 55 )

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Screenplay Insights:

Characters: 8.1, The screenplay displays effective character development, crafting complex and relatable characters who undergo significant transformations throughout the narrative. However, there are opportunities to enhance the depth and nuance of certain characters to strengthen their emotional impact on the audience. See More

Premise: 8.8, The screenplay for "The Boys" presents a compelling and original premise that challenges the traditional superhero narrative, exploring themes of power, corruption, and the dark side of celebrity. While the premise is engaging and sets up intriguing conflicts, there's potential to further refine the motivations and backstories of certain characters, particularly those within The Seven, to enhance audience understanding and emotional investment. See More

Structure: 8.3, The screenplay exhibits a well-structured narrative, establishing a solid foundation for a captivating story. By offering a harmonious balance of tension and release, the screenplay effectively sustains audience engagement. However, certain plot elements warrant refinement to elevate the screenplay's overall impact. See More

Theme: 8.4, The screenplay explores complex themes of justice, power, and the corrupting influence of fame with depth and nuance. It effectively uses the superhero genre to delve into these topics in a thought-provoking and engaging manner. However, some scenes could benefit from more subtle and organic integration of themes to enhance their impact and avoid feeling didactic. See More

Visual Impact: 8.2, The screenplay effectively leverages visual imagery to establish a rich and immersive world, showcasing innovative storytelling techniques. It skillfully utilizes vivid descriptions to bring scenes to life, fostering a cinematic experience for the reader. See More

Emotional Impact: 7.5, The screenplay effectively elicits emotional responses, particularly in scenes showcasing the characters' grief, vulnerability, and moral conflicts. However, enhancing the emotional depth through nuanced character motivations and exploring the psychological impact of events could elevate its emotional resonance. See More

Conflict: 7.5, The screenplay presents a compelling central conflict and stakes, but it could be strengthened by further developing the characters' motivations and exploring the emotional weight of their choices. By deepening the conflict and raising the stakes, the screenplay can create a more engaging and immersive experience for the audience. See More

Originality: 8.1, **The screenplay showcases a captivating blend of originality and creativity, particularly in its subversive take on the superhero genre and the complexities of its characters.** See More

Summary "The Boys" is a screenplay that delves into the complex world of superheroes, showcasing the impact they have on society and the personal struggles of individuals entangled with them. The opening scene presents the admiration and reverence towards superheroes, particularly Homelander. The sudden and shocking death of Robin by A-Train leads to a tragic moment for Hughie. As Starlight navigates her desire to join The Seven, Hughie mourns Robin's death and resists signing a confidentiality agreement by Vought International. Starlight's discovery of Deep's dark secret and subsequent conflict add depth to her character. The negotiation between Vought International and the Mayor of Baltimore unveils the darker sides of the superhero industry. The tension and conflicts escalate as Hughie and Butcher seek justice for Robin's death, leading to a series of events that culminate in a shocking revelation about Homelander's true nature. With intense conflicts, emotional struggles, and shocking revelations, the screenplay takes viewers on a gripping journey into the world of superheroes and the human stories behind the masks.

Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The plot and story of 'The Boys' are engaging and thought-provoking, offering a unique take on the superhero genre by exploring the darker and more complex aspects of superhero culture. The screenplay effectively highlights the societal impact of superheroes and the manipulation and corruption behind the scenes. The character arcs are well-developed, with each character facing internal struggles and growth throughout the story. However, the pacing could be improved in certain parts, as some scenes feel rushed or underdeveloped, impacting the overall flow of the screenplay. Additionally, the resolution of certain conflicts could be more satisfying and impactful to enhance the emotional resonance of the story.

Suggestions: To improve the screenplay, consider refining the pacing of the narrative to allow for more depth and exploration of key themes and character dynamics. Focus on strengthening the resolutions of conflicts to provide a more satisfying payoff for the audience. Additionally, consider adding more layers to the plot by introducing unexpected twists and turns to keep viewers engaged and invested in the story.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here

Beginning The opening scenes of 'The Boys' effectively set the stage for the story, establishing the world of superheroes and the impact they have on society. The montage of media images and footage creates a compelling introduction to the narrative, showcasing the public's adoration for superheroes and the darker undercurrents at play. The character arcs of Hughie and Starlight are established well, setting up their emotional journeys and motivations. However, the transition from Robin's death to Hughie's involvement with Butcher could be smoother, with more emphasis on Hughie's initial reluctance and eventual decision to seek justice.

Suggestions: To enhance the beginning of the screenplay, consider adding more depth to the emotional impact of Robin's death on Hughie and exploring his initial reactions in greater detail. Develop the transition between Robin's death and Hughie's encounter with Butcher to provide a clearer motivation for his decision to get involved in Butcher's mission. Additionally, focus on building the tension and stakes in the opening scenes to hook the audience and set up the central conflicts of the story.

Middle The middle section of 'The Boys' delves deeper into the complexities of the superhero world, exploring the challenges and conflicts faced by the characters. The introduction of Butcher and his mysterious agenda adds intrigue and tension to the narrative, propelling the story forward. The character development of Starlight is compelling, as she grapples with the pressures of fame and the darker side of being a superhero. However, the subplot involving the Mayor of Baltimore and Nubian Prince feels somewhat disconnected from the main storyline, detracting from the overall cohesion of the plot.

Suggestions: To strengthen the middle part of the screenplay, consider integrating the subplot involving the Mayor of Baltimore more seamlessly into the main narrative to enhance its relevance and impact on the central characters. Develop the relationships and dynamics between the characters further to deepen the emotional stakes and conflicts. Additionally, explore the internal struggles of the characters in more depth to add complexity and nuance to their arcs.

Ending The ending of 'The Boys' delivers a climactic and intense resolution to the central conflicts, showcasing the characters' growth and transformation throughout the story. The final confrontations and revelations provide a satisfying payoff for the audience, tying up loose ends and leaving room for future developments. However, certain plot threads could be further explored and resolved to provide a more conclusive and impactful ending. The resolution of Butcher's arc, in particular, could be more fleshed out to give closure to his character journey.

Suggestions: To enhance the ending of the screenplay, consider expanding on the resolution of key plot threads to provide a more comprehensive and satisfying conclusion. Develop Butcher's character arc further to give a clearer sense of closure and growth for his character. Additionally, consider leaving some open-ended questions or hints at future developments to intrigue the audience and set up potential sequels or spin-offs.

CharacterInconsistencies

Character Hughie
Description Hughie is initially portrayed as timid and non-confrontational, but later shows surprising assertiveness and even aggression towards the lawyer and Translucent. This shift could be better developed or explained.
( Scene 1 Scene 3 )
Character Starlight
Description Starlight's initial idealism clashes with her passive response to the Deep's assault. While understandable given the power dynamics, her later defiance could be foreshadowed or her internal conflict explored further.
( Scene 8 Scene 12 )

StoryInconsistencies

Description The video evidence from the private club contradicts A-Train's claim of stopping bank robbers, creating a significant discrepancy that should be addressed and explored further.
( Scene 9 )
Description The Mayor's knowledge of 'Compound V' and his subsequent death suggest a deeper conspiracy related to superhero creation or control, but the details and implications remain unclear.
( Scene 9 Scene 11 )

PlotHoles

Description Butcher's plan relies on Hughie getting access to the Seven Tower, but the reason why Vought would agree to A-Train's apology seems contrived and convenient for the plot.
( Scene 14 Scene 15 )

DialogueAuthenticity

Description The casual and humorous dialogue between the superheroes, particularly when discussing Robin's death and collateral damage, seems insensitive and incongruous with the gravity of their actions.
( Scene 5 Scene 9 )

Redundancies

Element Hughie's panic attacks
( Scene 4 Scene 14 Scene 16 )
Suggestion While highlighting Hughie's trauma is important, the repeated panic attacks could be streamlined or depicted with more variation to avoid diminishing their impact.
Element Superhero branding and media presence
( Scene 1 Scene 5 Scene 7 )
Suggestion The pervasiveness of superhero culture is effectively established early on, and some of the later references could be condensed or integrated more organically into the plot.

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Hughie - Score: 80/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ISFJ
Enneagram: 6

Scenes

Strongest: #2

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Kind-hearted, earnest young man valuing safety and relationships.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Emotionally wounded by Robin's death, struggling with guilt and grief.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 8/10

Hughie's journey from passive victim to an active participant looking for justice.

Dialogue And Voice 7/10

Authentic, relatable speech style that reflects his everyman status.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Hughie's choices are driven by emotional responses and moral dilemmas.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Central relationships shaped by trauma and shared experiences.

Scene Impact 9/10

Hughie's presence adds emotional weight to key moments.

Role Fulfillment 8/10

Protagonist role focused on personal justice and emotional recovery.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Hughie's journey reflects major themes of justice and morality.

Emotional Resonance 9/10

Strong emotional connection tied to grief and justice.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Hughie is introduced as a kind-hearted, earnest young man working as a salesman in an electronics store. His foundational values center around safety and protection, as seen when he promotes home security systems to a mother. He values relationships and is deeply emotional, demonstrated through his interactions with his girlfriend, Robin. These traits make him relatable, as he embodies the everyday individual amidst the chaos caused by superheroes.

Values And Beliefs: Safety, Love, Community

Strengths And Skills: Salesmanship, Technical Knowledge, Empathy

Suggestions

Explore Hughie's technical skills further by incorporating more scenes of him using his sales expertise in high-stakes situations.
Develop his relationship with Robin to establish more emotional stakes before her tragic death.

Follow-up Questions

How will Hughie's values shift after Robin's death?
What specific experiences shaped Hughie's belief in the importance of safety?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Hughie carries the emotional wound of losing Robin, which manifests as shock, grief, and guilt. His internal conflict revolves around his typical avoidance of confrontation versus the desire for justice. This duality adds depth to his character, highlighting his struggle between remaining passive and taking action against the superheroes he holds responsible for Robin's death.

Character Wound: The traumatic loss of his girlfriend, Robin.

Character Flaws: Inability to confront problems, Self-doubt, Passive nature

Suggestions

Introduce flashbacks that illustrate Hughie's happier moments with Robin, deepening the emotional impact of her loss.
Heighten his internal conflicts through dialogue or monologues revealing his fears and doubts more explicitly.

Follow-up Questions

What triggers his internal conflict throughout the series?
How does Hughie's wound affect his choices moving forward?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 8

Throughout the series, Hughie evolves from a non-confrontational young man dealing with the loss of his girlfriend to someone who actively seeks revenge against the superheroes responsible for her death. His transformation is sparked by Butcher's influence and the realization that he must fight back to honor Robin's memory. However, he also faces moments of regression, grappling with his inherent nature to avoid conflict.

Polarity Changes: Goes from a grieving boyfriend to someone seeking vengeance against the 'Supes'.

Transformation Triggers: The traumatic death of Robin and the encounter with Butcher.

Suggestions

Deepen the exploration of Hughie's emotional state following Robin's death to provide a clearer path for his transformation.
Incorporate mentor-like moments where Hughie learns from Butcher and others, highlighting his growth.

Follow-up Questions

What specific events make Hughie more willing to confront danger?
How does his relationship with Butcher influence his moral compass?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 7

Hughie's dialogue tends to be both endearing and comedic, rooted in relatable, everyday experiences. His speech reflects his emotions, often shifting between nervous banter and profound sadness. This blend makes him a sympathetic character, as viewers can easily connect with his struggles and victories.

Unique Voice: Hughie often uses humor to cope with difficult situations, showcasing his nervousness and insecurities.

Suggestions

Highlight his humor during high-stress moments to further develop his character's voice.
Experiment with more varied emotional expressions in his dialogue to express his inner turmoil.

Follow-up Questions

How does Hughie's voice change as he becomes more involved with Butcher?
In what situations does Hughie's humor fall flat, and what does that reveal?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Hughie's actions throughout the screenplay are heavily influenced by his emotional state and his need for closure regarding Robin's death. His initial passive behavior is replaced by an active pursuit of justice, propelled by Butcher's guidance. He struggles with the morality of his choices, seeking validation for taking a stand while also battling his desire for vengeance against superheroes.

Motivations: Seeking justice for Robin and grappling with his guilt and grief.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to confront A-Train and seek justice but needs to find a healthy way to cope with his loss.

Suggestions

Emphasize key decisions that lead to significant consequences for Hughie, showing the weight of his choices.
Explore more moments where Hughie grapples with the morality of his actions, deepening the narrative conflict.

Follow-up Questions

What do his choices reveal about his growth or lack thereof over time?
How do his decisions affect the relationships he has with other characters?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Hughie's relationships, particularly with Robin and Butcher, define his character arc. The bond he shares with Robin highlights his emotional vulnerabilities, while his dynamic with Butcher serves as a catalyst for his transformation. These relationships reveal different facets of Hughie's personality, showcasing his potential for growth amid immense loss.

Suggestions

Craft more nuanced interactions between Hughie and Butcher that highlight their mentor-mentee dynamic.
Explore more about Hughie's friendships outside of Robin, showcasing how they contribute to his character development.

Follow-up Questions

How does Hughie's relationship with Butcher challenge his beliefs about vengeance?
What role do Robin's parents play in shaping Hughie's emotional journey?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

Hughie's involvement in pivotal scenes elevates the emotional stakes. His grief-driven actions introduce significant conflict and propel the narrative forward. Scenes featuring Hughie tend to focus on themes of loss, justice, and morality, underscoring their importance in the broader storyline.

Suggestions

Maximize the tension in scenes involving Hughie, emphasizing his emotional responses to heighten audience engagement.
Incorporate moments where Hughie's absence is felt by other characters to emphasize his impact on the narrative.

Follow-up Questions

Which specific scenes are most affected by Hughie's emotional state?
How can Hughie's reactions influence the decisions of surrounding characters?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 8

Hughie serves as the protagonist, navigating the complexities of grief and the desire for justice. He embodies the voice of the common man against the backdrop of larger-than-life superheroes. His journey reflects the struggle between innocence and the harsh realities of the world he inhabits.

Symbolic Role: Represents the ordinary person thrust into extraordinary circumstances.

Suggestions

Create parallels between Hughie's personal journey and larger societal issues regarding heroism and accountability.
Consider how Hughie's role evolves throughout the series, potentially leading him to confront his ideals of justice.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways does Hughie's journey mirror societal attitudes towards superheroes?
How does his character challenge conventional notions of heroism?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Hughie's experiences and choices intricately weave with the screenplay's central themes of accountability and the morality of power. His quest for justice after Robin's death underscores the struggle against systemic abuses within a society reliant on superheroic figures.

Suggestions

Strengthen the thematic integration by aligning Hughie's goals more closely with the story's broader critique of celebrity and authority.
Explore how Hughie's perspective on justice evolves throughout the narrative.

Follow-up Questions

How do Hughie's actions advance the overarching thematic questions in the story?
What internal conflicts does he face that highlight the screenplay's moral dilemmas?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 9

Hughie's character effectively evokes strong emotional responses from the audience. His heartbreak following Robin's death, combined with his journey for vengeance, creates an empathic connection. These emotional beats serve to engage viewers, drawing them into the narrative's weighty themes.

Emotional Impact: Elicits sympathy and tension during pivotal moments.

Suggestions

Incorporate more vulnerable moments that amplify audience empathy towards Hughie.
Explore his emotional responses in high-stakes scenarios, ensuring they resonate deeply with viewers.

Follow-up Questions

What are the most powerful emotional moments for Hughie, and how do they impact the audience?
How can Hughie's emotional journey create a lasting impression throughout the series?

Personality Types

MBTI: isfj

Hughie exhibits traits consistent with ISFJs, such as being caring, detail-oriented, and committed to his relationships and values. His emotional reactions and desire for security align with this type.

Confidence: 75%

Suggestions

Utilize his ISFJ traits to develop deeper emotional connections with other characters.
Explore Hughie's tendency to prioritize others' needs over his own.

Follow-up Questions

How might Hughie's ISFJ traits influence his reactions to superhuman powers?
In what ways can conflicting values between him and other characters create tension?

Enneagram: 6

Hughie displays characteristics of a Type 6, demonstrating loyalty, fear of abandonment, and a desire for security. His quest for revenge stems from a protective instinct driven by underlying anxiety.

Confidence: 70%

Suggestions

Highlight his Six traits by showcasing moments of loyalty toward friends and allies.
Explore his fears about authority figures and how they shape his decisions.

Follow-up Questions

How do Hughie's relationships illustrate his Type 6 tendencies?
How do his fears manifest throughout the storyline?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (2)

Hughie's immediate emotional response following Robin's shocking death, where he holds her bloody hands, deeply connects the audience with his grief.

Why: This scene effectively showcases his emotional turmoil, allowing viewers to empathize with his tragedy.

Weakest Scene (0)

none

Why: none

Suggestions:

Enhance emotional stakes in scenes where Hughie feels less active.

Butcher - Score: 80/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ESTP
Enneagram: 8

Scenes

Strongest: #8
Weakest: #5

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

A determined anti-hero with vengeance-driven motives.

Complexity And Depth 9/10

A complex character battling internal grief and rage.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 7/10

Butcher shows a trajectory of transformation driven by personal motives.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Butcher's dialogue is sharp, witty, and often abrasive.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Butcher makes choices driven by a thirst for justice and revenge.

Relationship Dynamics 7/10

Butcher has complex relationships influenced by trust and betrayal.

Scene Impact 8/10

Butcher's actions introduce conflict and tension to scenes.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Butcher serves as the primary anti-hero countering the superheroes.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Butcher's journey intertwines with themes of power and corruption.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Evokes sympathy through his emotional struggles.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Butcher is depicted as a rugged and resourceful character with a fierce anti-hero persona. As a member of a group seeking to expose and take down corrupt superheroes, he embodies rebellion against authority and injustice. His past experiences and motivations drive him to seek vengeance against those he perceives as abusing their power. He possesses a strong moral compass, albeit one that is often clouded by his anger and desire for retribution.

Values And Beliefs: Justice, retribution, exposing corruption

Strengths And Skills: Resourcefulness, combat skills, leadership

Suggestions

Explore deeper backstory to add emotional weight to his motivations.
Show more vulnerable moments to humanize his character.

Follow-up Questions

What specific events in Butcher's past fueled his hatred towards superheroes?
How does Butcher's leadership style affect the group dynamic?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 9

While Butcher is brash and aggressive, he also harbors emotional wounds from personal losses, particularly related to the actions of superheroes. His relentless pursuit of justice masks deeper unresolved grief and rage. These internal conflicts often lead to reckless decisions, affecting his relationships and causing further tension within his team.

Character Wound: Loss of a loved one due to superhero negligence

Character Flaws: Impulsiveness, aggression, potential to alienate allies

Suggestions

Develop moments where his emotional wounds surface during conflicts.
Introduce scenes that reveal his vulnerability beyond the tough exterior.

Follow-up Questions

How does Butcher cope with his personal losses throughout the story?
What internal conflicts are most amplified during confrontations with superheroes?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 7

Over the course of the story, Butcher evolves from a solely revenge-driven figure to one who begins to understand the complexity of his mission and the ramifications of his actions. While he initially pursues violence as a solution, interactions with both allies and enemies provoke self-reflection and consideration of alternative methods to achieving justice.

Polarity Changes: He oscillates between moments of clarity and reckless vengeance.

Transformation Triggers: Confrontations with superheroes and revelations from allies.

Suggestions

Clarify the turning points that lead to his evolving understanding of justice.
Show how his relationships contribute to his internal conflict and growth.

Follow-up Questions

What major event forces Butcher to reconsider his approach to the superheroes?
How do his relationships impact his decisions as the story unfolds?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

His dialogue reflects a tough and cynical character who uses humor as a defense mechanism. Butcher's choice of words often reveals his disdain for authority and superheroes alike, contributing to his anti-hero persona. There is also an underlying vulnerability that can peek through in more serious conversations, which adds depth to his character.

Unique Voice: Strong British accent, blunt, often uses dark humor

Suggestions

Integrate dialogue that reveals his vulnerabilities in moments of tension.
Experiment with softer dialogue in interactions with close allies.

Follow-up Questions

How does Butcher's dialogue change in moments of vulnerability or anger?
What role does humor play in his interactions with others?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

His behavior is often rash and impulsive as he pursues his goals, reflecting a character who is deeply affected by loss. His decisions impact not only his outcomes but also those around him, creating tension with his team. Butcher is frequently torn between acting on emotion and behaving strategically.

Motivations: To expose and take down corrupt superheroes.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires revenge but ultimately needs emotional closure and understanding.

Suggestions

Highlight decisions that demonstrate his growth or decline in emotional control.
Show the consequences of his choices on team dynamics and individual relationships.

Follow-up Questions

What specific choices lead to conflict within the team he leads?
How do his motivations influence his decision-making process?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 7

He often finds himself in conflict with members of his group due to differing morals and methods. Butcher's commanding nature both attracts and distances him from others, leading to tensions that complicate his leadership. There are moments of camaraderie interspersed with conflict, revealing deeper connections.

Suggestions

Explore more of his backstory with key allies to deepen their relationships.
Portray the challenges he faces in maintaining trust with his team.

Follow-up Questions

How do Butcher's previous experiences shape his current relationships?
What moments reveal his struggles with vulnerability in relationships?

Scene Impact

Score: 8

His presence in scenes often escalates the stakes. When he acts, it adds a layer of unpredictability, affecting those around him. Whether through confrontations or plotting revenge, Butcher drives the narrative forward, often serving as a catalyst for conflict.

Suggestions

Maximize moments where his decisions catalyze critical plot developments.
Use quieter moments to showcase his psychological impact on other characters.

Follow-up Questions

Which scenes highlight Butcher's role as a catalyst of change?
How does he influence the emotions of secondary characters in tense situations?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

Butcher fulfills the role of an anti-hero effectively, challenging the overwhelming force of the superhero society. His actions and beliefs often contrast starkly with those of the superheroes, illuminating the darker side of their world. He symbolizes a critique of authority and the complexities of morality.

Symbolic Role: Represents the struggle against unchecked power and corruption.

Suggestions

Clarify moments where his actions serve as a direct counterpoint to the superheroes’ values.
Subvert expectations by showcasing unexpected alliances or moral dilemmas.

Follow-up Questions

How does Butcher’s role as an anti-hero challenge traditional superhero narratives?
What specific conflicts arise from his anti-hero stance?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

His narrative explores the consequences of absolute power and accountability. Butcher embodies the themes of revenge and justice, framing the larger conversation about the moral obligations of those with power. His actions drive the central conflicts and question the cost of pursuing justice.

Suggestions

Emphasize thematic moments in Butcher’s dialogue and actions.
Draw parallels between Butcher's experiences and those of the heroes he opposes.

Follow-up Questions

Which themes best resonate through Butcher’s actions in the story?
How is the theme of power and corruption made manifest in his relationships?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Butcher serves as both a source of tension and a character for empathy. His motivations rooted in loss resonate with audiences, providing a deeper understanding of his actions. The dichotomy of his desire for revenge against the backdrop of emotional vulnerability adds layers to his emotional impact.

Emotional Impact: Invokes sympathy and tension through his pursuit of justice.

Suggestions

Craft moments that allow the audience to relate with his emotional journey.
Feature narratively significant relationships that amplify emotional stakes.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes elicit the most emotional response from the audience regarding Butcher?
How does his pursuit for revenge parallel his need for emotional healing?

Personality Types

MBTI: estp

Butcher's assertive nature, quick decision-making, and focus on action align with the ESTP profile, often acting on impulse in high-pressure situations.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: entj (70%)

Suggestions

Leverage the ESTP characteristics to further explore impulsive decisions.
Use ENTJ traits to emphasize his leadership conflicts.

Follow-up Questions

How can his ESTP traits enhance his interactions with other characters?
What instances support the ENTJ traits in his leadership style?

Enneagram: 8

Butcher’s personality strongly aligns with Type 8, characterized by assertiveness and a desire for control, particularly in the face of perceived injustice.

Confidence: 90%

Possible Alternative Type: 7 (75%)

Suggestions

Emphasize his Type 8 traits through conflict and confrontation scenarios.
Highlight any Type 7 tendencies during high-stakes social interactions.

Follow-up Questions

What key decisions showcase his Type 8 attributes?
How can his potential Type 7 traits provide comic relief or lighten tense moments?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (8)

Butcher's confrontation with Translucent highlights his combat prowess and sharp wit.

Why: This scene showcases Butcher's physicality and moral stance, establishing him as a powerful anti-hero.

Weakest Scene (5)

A scene where Butcher communicates with Hughie, revealing his strategic mindset without emotional clarity.

Why: The focus on mere tactical planning rather than emotional appeal can soften his strong characterization.

Suggestions:

Infuse more personal stakes into this conversation.
Allow Butcher to showcase vulnerability to deepen this interaction.

Starlight - Score: 79/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ENFJ
Enneagram: Type 2: The Helper

Scenes

Strongest: #10

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Idealistic, hopeful superhero striving to save the world.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Struggles with disillusionment and her ideals of heroism.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 8/10

Growth through confrontation of the dark side of heroism.

Dialogue And Voice 7/10

Innocent yet insightful, with moments of self-doubt.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Decisions often stem from her moral compass, challenged by reality.

Relationship Dynamics 7/10

Complex interactions with colleagues reveal tensions between ideals and reality.

Scene Impact 8/10

Her presence shifts emotional tones and reveals thematic layers.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Exemplifies the conflicted hero archetype as she embodies hope but faces harsh truths.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Her journey intertwines with themes of power, identity, and moral integrity.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Engenders strong viewer connection through her trials.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Starlight, also known as Annie, represents the archetypal bright-eyed superhero, embodying hope and the desire to save the world. She values altruism and has a strong sense of what is right, having been raised to believe in the honor and glory of being a hero. Starlight's backstory includes participating in beauty pageants and aspiring to join the elite superhero team, The Seven, to genuinely help others. This idealism shapes her worldview, leading her to seek validation in her heroic actions.

Values And Beliefs: Justice, altruism, the importance of helping others.

Strengths And Skills: Superpowers, determination, inspiring speeches.

Suggestions

Explore her internal conflict more to develop depth.
Introduce moments of doubt in her heroism for added complexity.

Follow-up Questions

What experiences might challenge Starlight's idealistic views?
How do her early aspirations shape her interactions with her fellow heroes?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Starlight grapples with emotions tied to her dreams versus the harsh realities of being a member of The Seven. Her initial excitement is juxtaposed with the potent harm inflicted by her peers and the industry. The sexual harassment she faces from The Deep and the realization that her idols may be flawed or corrupt deeply wounds her, creating a tension between her ideals and the reality of her experiences.

Character Wound: Disillusionment with hero culture, feeling misunderstood.

Character Flaws: Naivete, susceptibility to peer pressure.

Suggestions

Delve into her internal conflicts as she faces moral dilemmas.
Create scenarios that force her to confront her idolization of other heroes.

Follow-up Questions

How might Starlight's disillusionment evolve throughout the series?
In what situations could her naivety lead to serious consequences?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 8

Starlight's journey depicts her evolution from an innocent, hopeful hero to someone acutely aware of the flawed nature of her peers. She attempts to reconcile her vision of heroism with the behaviors of her fellow superheroes, ultimately leading her to question her role and challenge the system—indicating a maturation process.

Polarity Changes: High moments with excitement about joining the team, low with experiences of harassment and betrayal.

Transformation Triggers: Exposure to the darker aspects of superhero life and the failed promise of her ideals.

Suggestions

Use critical interactions with other characters to further reveal her growth.
Employ moments of action to illustrate her change from passive to active resistance.

Follow-up Questions

What specific events will catalyze her major turning points?
In which moments might she resist her transformation or deny her disillusionment?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 7

Starlight's dialogue reflects her noble aspirations, manipulated room for growth, and struggle with self-identity. She often expresses her values directly, but her vulnerability shows through when she grapples with the opposing views of her companions, particularly after experiencing harassment.

Unique Voice: Her speech is marked by sincerity, optimism, and occasional awkwardness due to her idealism.

Suggestions

Incorporate more moments of internal struggle in her dialogue.
Create exchanges with other characters to challenge her beliefs in real-time.

Follow-up Questions

How does her dialogue evolve as her disillusionment increases?
What interactions can emphasize her conflict between work and personal beliefs?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Starlight's actions frequently demonstrate her intention to do good, but she is continually confronted with the contradictions within her superhero community. Her choices become increasingly difficult as she navigates peer pressures that challenge her moral beliefs, leading to pivotal moments of decision-making.

Motivations: Desire to help others and prove herself as a true hero.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to fit in with The Seven vs. her need for true validation and integrity in her actions.

Suggestions

Highlight critical dilemmas that force her to choose integrity over acceptance.
Incorporate moments where her decisions have impactful consequences.

Follow-up Questions

What choices will test her moral fabric the most?
How might her decisions alter her relationships with other characters in the future?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 7

Starlight's relationships, particularly with The Deep and Homelander, expose her to the darker elements of superhero culture. These dynamics serve to challenge her worldview, create conflict, and ultimately push her to assert her own identity separate from her peers.

Suggestions

Introduce deeper conflicts with characters who represent her ideals.
Create alliances that help her confront the negative behaviors of others.

Follow-up Questions

How will her relationships evolve as she becomes more assertive?
Which characters might become pivotal allies or adversaries?

Scene Impact

Score: 8

Starlight’s scenes often pivot around her idealism and eventual disillusionment. In many cases, her desires to uphold justice and kindness shift the emotional impact, leading towards themes of empowerment, betrayal, and personal growth.

Suggestions

Ensure her scenes balance hopeful representation with stark realities.
Maximize her dramatic moments to deep dive into emotional nuances.

Follow-up Questions

What pivotal scenes can further explore her struggles?
How can her absence create tension or conflict within the narrative?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

Starlight occupies the role of a protagonist who represents the rich conflict of aspiration versus reality. She symbolizes the struggle for justice within a flawed system, setting the stage for her evolution while inspiring empathetic connections with the audience.

Symbolic Role: Represents idealism clashing with the gritty reality of power.

Suggestions

Highlight moments where her idealism directly impacts others positively.
Consider how her arc can subvert typical superhero tropes.

Follow-up Questions

What learning experiences will solidify her place as a true hero?
At what points might she subvert her own symbolic role?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

Starlight’s journey is crucial in illustrating the themes of disillusionment with power, the necessity for integrity, and the inward journey towards self-identity. Her aspirations consistently clash with the systemic corruption of her colleagues, highlighting the show's deeper messages.

Suggestions

Integrate her decisions into broader themes for resonance.
Ensure her narrative reflects societal allegories effectively.

Follow-up Questions

How can her struggles enhance the narrative themes?
What thematic resolutions should be reflected in her character?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Starlight effectively draws emotional responses regarding her journey, fragility, and the injustices she faces. Her evolution invites viewers to reflect on hopes and the compromises that may come with them, mirroring a universal struggle.

Emotional Impact: Evokes empathy and frustration as she navigates her ambitions versus reality.

Suggestions

Create moments of significant vulnerability to deepen audience connection.
Invoke emotional stakes that mirror her experiences in key scenes.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes can strengthen her emotional arc?
How can the audience's perception of her change over time?

Personality Types

MBTI: enfj

As an extroverted feeling type, Starlight shows strong emotional awareness and a desire to uplift others, aligning with ENFJ traits.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: infj (70%)

Suggestions

Explore her interpersonal relationships more deeply.
Ensure her empathy is a driving force in her character choices.

Follow-up Questions

How might an ENFJ's leadership qualities manifest in Starlight?
What challenges would an INFJ's focus on the big picture present her?

Enneagram: type 2: the helper

Starlight seeks to support and improve the world around her, typical of a Type 2 who yearns for connection and altruism.

Confidence: 75%

Possible Alternative Type: type 1: the reformer (65%)

Suggestions

Delve into her moral struggles as they relate to the Helper archetype.
Consider scenarios where her need for acceptance challenges her altruistic nature.

Follow-up Questions

In which situations will her Helper nature lead to stress or conflict?
What reformer-like qualities might she develop as her story progresses?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (10)

The bathroom scene where she confronts her bruising reveals deep emotional turmoil.

Why: It starkly contrasts her earlier idealism and intensifies her internal struggle as she grapples with the reality of being a member of The Seven.

Weakest Scene (0)

Starlight's audition scene shows her vulnerability and naivety.

Why: Her initial excitement and innocence can overshadow the conflict she will soon face, making it less impactful in comparison.

Suggestions:

Infuse the audition with hints of the darker truths awaiting her.
Strengthen her emotional stakes here to foreshadow later struggles.

Robin - Score: 88/100

Personality

MBTI: ESFJ
Enneagram: 2

Scenes

Strongest: #2
Weakest: #5

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Kind and supportive girlfriend, contrasting with superheroes.

Complexity And Depth 9/10

Her sudden death highlights the collateral damage in superhero culture.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 7/10

Robin's arc concludes with her death, which serves as a pivotal moment for Hughie.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Robin's dialogue reflects her warmth and positivity, often serving to uplift Hughie.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Robin's choices reflect her desire for safety and happiness in her relationship.

Relationship Dynamics 10/10

Robin’s relationship with Hughie showcases a loving but ultimately tragic partnership.

Scene Impact 9/10

Robin’s presence brings warmth to the storyline but her absence leaves a profound void.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Robin serves as a tragic catalyst, pushing Hughie into a quest for justice.

Thematic Plot Integration 10/10

Robin’s journey embodies the theme of collateral damage in a superhero society.

Emotional Resonance 10/10

Her story evokes deep sympathy and highlights tragic loss.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Robin is portrayed as a kind, supportive girlfriend to Hughie, showcasing her innocence and compassion. Her character is anchored in the mundane reality of life, contrasting sharply with the superhero elements around her. She is depicted as someone who aspires for more but is caught in a tragic situation that highlights the unpredictability and danger of the world they live in.

Values And Beliefs: Compassion, love, and a desire for a safe world.

Strengths And Skills: Sincere communicator, supportive partner, optimistic outlook.

Suggestions

Expand on her dreams and aspirations outside of her relationship.
Explore her response to the superhero culture more deeply.

Follow-up Questions

What were Robin's thoughts about the superheroes before her tragic incident?
How does Robin view safety in a world filled with superheroes?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 9

Robin's emotional depth is revealed through her sudden and violent death, which serves as the catalyst for Hughie’s transformation. She embodies the collateral damage of superhero actions, representing countless unseen victims in the world of 'The Boys.' Yet, she also represents a hopeful warmth that is abruptly extinguished, creating a lasting impact on the narrative.

Character Wound: Her tragic death leaves Hughie devastated and triggers his quest for justice.

Suggestions

Incorporate flashbacks to reveal her inner thoughts and ambitions.
Explore how her death impacts the lives of those around her.

Follow-up Questions

What might have been Robin's response to the superhero lifestyle?
How does Robin's death influence Hughie's actions in the subsequent scenes?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 7

Although Robin does not undergo significant character change, her death serves as a critical turning point for Hughie, emphasizing the tragic consequences of a world filled with superheroes. Robin remains a symbol of what is lost in this violent environment.

Polarity Changes: Her relationship with Hughie shifts from hopeful to tragic in an instant.

Transformation Triggers: Her death catalyzes Hughie’s transformation from a passive character to one seeking revenge.

Suggestions

Show her past struggles with societal expectations throughout earlier scenes.
Include more dialogue that hints at her fears about superheroes.

Follow-up Questions

How does Robin's character influence the moral compass of the series?
What if Robin had found a way to become a hero herself?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Her conversations exhibit a comforting vibe, encouraging Hughie to strive for better in both his job and their relationship. The interactions reveal her genuine care and optimistic outlook on life, which is jarring when juxtaposed with her fate.

Unique Voice: Playful yet sincere; she balances jovial banter with heartfelt moments.

Suggestions

Incorporate deeper emotional tones during key moments to contrast her demise.
Enhance her voice by showcasing more humor in everyday interactions.

Follow-up Questions

What pivotal conversation could have hinted at the darker world they inhabit?
How could her dialogue evolve throughout the series to highlight societal pressures?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Robin’s decisions are rooted in her hope and love for Hughie, illustrating her as a stabilizing figure in his life. However, her naive belief in a safe world is tragically challenged when she becomes a victim of superhero negligence.

Motivations: A longing for a secure, loving relationship with Hughie.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires a stable future with Hughie, but is ultimately caught off-guard by tragic circumstances.

Suggestions

Show moments where her choices potentially lead to risks for both her and Hughie.
Develop a subplot that explores her coping mechanisms with the superhero society.

Follow-up Questions

How could her choices reflect on Hughie’s growth as a character later?
What if Robin had been more aware of the dangers of the superhero world?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 10

Her dynamic with Hughie is filled with moments of affection, banter, and mutual support, illustrating a deep emotional connection. This relationship is shattered by her sudden death, prompting Hughie to take drastic actions against those responsible, thus positioning Robin as a key motivation for his journey.

Suggestions

Include more background on their relationship prior to the plot to provide depth.
Explore how Robin’s interactions with other characters could change their perspectives.

Follow-up Questions

How might her death affect other characters aside from Hughie?
What elements of their relationship could be amplified to enhance emotional stakes?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

Her early scenes contrast sharply with the violent world surrounding her. Each time she appears, she adds a layer of humanity to the narrative, making her subsequent death all the more impactful. It underscores the theme of vulnerability in a world where superheroes wreak havoc.

Suggestions

Enhance her initial scenes with subtle foreshadowing of danger.
Use her death to catalyze significant emotional reactions in following scenes.

Follow-up Questions

What reactions could be highlighted from different characters based on her death?
How would adding moments of tension in her earlier scenes change the audience’s expectations?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

While not a primary protagonist, Robin encapsulates the collateral damage of the superhero world. Her death illustrates the high stakes involved and compels Hughie to fight against a corrupt system, fulfilling the theme of lost innocence.

Symbolic Role: Symbol of the innocent victims harmed by superhero actions.

Suggestions

Orchestrate scenes where her presence raises questions about superhero accountability.
Show how her character could theoretically inspire others affected by superhero actions.

Follow-up Questions

How could Robin’s character be utilized to deepen audience understandings of collateral damage?
What symbolic elements could better tie her character to the overarching narrative?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 10

Her life and sudden demise reflect the narrative's critique of the oppressive power structure of superheroes. Her story intertwines with that of Hughie's, accentuating the overarching conflict and the emotional stakes involved for ordinary people in an extraordinary world.

Suggestions

Draw parallels between Robin’s story and those of other minor characters affected by superheroes.
Highlight the societal implications of her death in the context of superhero glorification.

Follow-up Questions

What additional layers of complexity could be added to her relationship with the superhero community?
How does Robin’s story encourage a re-evaluation of superhero narratives?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 10

Robin's tragic fate shatters the idealized perception of superheroes, compelling the audience to confront the harsh realities of collateral damage. Her relationship with Hughie amplifies the emotional stakes, engaging viewers in a profound exploration of loss.

Emotional Impact: Elicits strong feelings of sympathy, grief, and anger in the audience.

Suggestions

Integrate more scenes depicting Robin's daily life to deepen audience attachment.
Explore deeper emotional connections between her and other characters to enhance the impact.

Follow-up Questions

What could be her legacy within the story beyond her death?
How would varying her interactions with other characters before her death alter audience reaction?

Personality Types

MBTI: esfj

Robin demonstrates strong interpersonal skills, compassion, and a strong sense of duty to her relationship, all of which align with the ESFJ personality type.

Confidence: 85%

Suggestions

Highlight her organizational skills in relationships.
Explore moments showing her leadership qualities.

Follow-up Questions

How could Robin's personality type affect her interactions with the superhero community?
In what ways might her ESFJ traits complicate her relationship with Hughie?

Enneagram: 2

Robin exhibits characteristics of a Helper, putting her partner’s needs before her own and striving for connection.

Confidence: 80%

Suggestions

Delve deeper into her motivations for helping others.
Show conflicts that arise when her helper nature is unappreciated.

Follow-up Questions

What would Robin’s response be if she felt unappreciated by Hughie?
How could her motivations as a Helper evolve as the plot progresses?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (2)

The scene in which Robin is tragically killed by A-Train.

Why: This moment serves as a defining and emotional turning point in the story, influencing Hughie's motivations significantly.

Weakest Scene (5)

The scene where she is in the park with Hughie. It establishes her character but lacks tension or depth.

Why: This scene could have introduced conflict or stakes to make her characterization more impactful.

Suggestions:

Incorporate moments that hint at possible danger from superheroes.
Show her reactions to heroic news stories to deepen emotional resonance.

Julia - Score: 74/100

Role

Antagonist

Personality

MBTI: ENTJ
Enneagram: Type 3 - Achiever

Scenes

Strongest: #6

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Corporate VP at Vought, prioritizes profit over ethics.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Emotionally distant, driven by corporate goals, lacks empathy.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 6/10

Remains consistent in her ambition and manipulation throughout the story.

Dialogue And Voice 7/10

Corporate, authoritative, and polished tone reflecting her position.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Strategically aggressive in decisions, prioritizing business outcomes.

Relationship Dynamics 7/10

Dynamic with superheroes and board members highlights her manipulative nature.

Scene Impact 8/10

Her presence intensifies corporate tension and moral ambiguity in scenes.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Functions as a corporate antagonist challenging the main characters.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Illustrates the dangers of amorality in the superhero industry.

Emotional Resonance 6/10

Elicits tension regarding the ethical ramifications of corporate greed.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Julia Stillwell is the Vice President of Hero Management at Vought International, demonstrating corporate ambition and ruthlessness. Her role involves managing superheroes and presenting a polished public image for the corporation. She embodies the intersection of commerce and heroism, believing that the success of superheroes directly correlates with Vought's profitability. These qualities frame her worldview that prioritizes profit over morality, leading to manipulative behaviors.

Values And Beliefs: Success of Vought over ethical considerations, belief in manipulating public perception.

Strengths And Skills: Manipulative, persuasive, strategic in corporate decisions.

Suggestions

Develop her backstory to reveal what drives her ambition.
Highlight moments where her moral compass clashes with corporate goals.

Follow-up Questions

What personal sacrifices has Julia made to rise within Vought?
How does Julia view the superheroes as individuals versus corporate assets?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Julia's emotional wounds stem from a cutthroat corporate environment that values results over relationships. This has likely shaped her cold demeanor. Her flaws include a lack of empathy and the potential for shortsightedness in her decisions, which may come back to haunt Vought and her own career. These aspects, while making her a capable executive, also position her as a person who sacrifices moral integrity for power.

Character Wound: Backstabbed in her career by peers

Character Flaws: Manipulative, lacks empathy, overly ambitious.

Suggestions

Explore moments where Julia’s decisions haunt her or cause unintended consequences.
Introduce vulnerabilities that humanize her beyond the corporate facade.

Follow-up Questions

What are Julia's limits in pursuing her goals?
Does she ever doubt the morality of her decisions?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 6

Julia's character does not demonstrate significant changes throughout the narrative; her consistency as a corporate antagonist highlights her unwavering commitment to Vought's success. However, her refusal to adapt or acknowledge moral implications of her actions may eventually lead to her downfall. Her ambition does not waver but does create potential tension with emerging themes of accountability.

Polarity Changes: None demonstrated.

Transformation Triggers: The themes of power dynamics and corporate accountability challenge her position, yet she remains unyielding.

Suggestions

Introduce a scenario that forces her to question the sustainability of her tactics.
Further highlight the repercussions of her rigidity in the corporate world.

Follow-up Questions

What specific events might cause Julia to reassess her values?
How do other characters challenge Julia's perspective?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 7

Julia's dialogue is typically laced with corporate speak, designed to maintain control and convey authority. Her speech often reflects a driving ambition and a calculated presentation, emphasizing the organization's image. She tends to bypass personal connection in favor of transactional interactions, underscoring her professional persona.

Unique Voice: Uses corporate jargon, strategic language, often with hidden agendas.

Suggestions

Balance corporate lingo with moments of uncharacteristic vulnerability.
Include hints of personal motivations to add nuance to her dialogue.

Follow-up Questions

How does her dialogue contrast with other characters' styles?
Are there times when her mask slips, revealing her true feelings?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Julia's decisions reflect a calculated approach aimed at ensuring Vought's success, often at the expense of morality. Her behavior ranges from shrewd negotiation to cold detachment regarding human lives, illustrating a true corporate mentality. This drives significant plot developments such as the attempt to manipulate the public perception of A-Train's actions to protect Vought's interests.

Motivations: To maximize profits and maintain Vought's public image.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires power, recognition, and corporate success; needs personal connection and morality.

Suggestions

Create high-stakes moments where ethical decisions could jeopardize her goals.
Expose scenarios where her choices confront societal repercussions.

Follow-up Questions

What consequences does Julia face for her unwavering decisions?
How do her motivations conflict with those of the superheroes she manages?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 7

Julia's relationships are primarily transactional, marked by power dynamics. Her interactions with A-Train reflect a desire to manage J's image rather than genuinely care about his wellbeing. Her connection with other board members emphasizes a network of corporate alliances based more on ambition than camaraderie, revealing her isolation in a competitive corporate landscape.

Suggestions

Highlight personal stakes in her relationships with key superheroes.
Introduce moments that show her at odds with corporate allies.

Follow-up Questions

How does Julia justify her ruthless behavior to those close to her?
What alliances or rivalries exist among Vought's upper echelon?

Scene Impact

Score: 8

Julia's appearances amplify the underlying corporate tension, often representing Vought's interests against individual moral dilemmas faced by characters like Hughie and Starlight. Her actions and decisions in key scenes dictate the narrative's direction related to corporate ethics, making her a crucial element in establishing the screenplay's themes.

Suggestions

Craft scenes that emphasize the direct impact of her actions on the surrounding conflicts.
Include short moments of vulnerability to offset her power-driven demeanor.

Follow-up Questions

What feedback do people closest to her have regarding her decisions?
How does Julia react to resistance encountered from others?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

Julia embodies the corporate antagonist, showcasing how capitalism can corrupt the noble ideals represented by superheroes. As Vought's operations manager, she is consistently at odds with characters advocating for justice. This tension between corporate interests and moral imperatives drives the narrative conflict surrounding accountability and heroism.

Symbolic Role: Represents corporate greed and the moral compromises of superhero culture.

Suggestions

Focus on moments where her role could evolve or influence protagonists in unexpected ways.
Explore how she reacts to the growing dissent against corporate practices.

Follow-up Questions

How does Julia justify her actions to her superiors?
What moment would frame Julia's role as less antagonistic?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Julia's actions and motivations often echo the overarching theme of morality versus profit. Her relentless pursuit of corporate success contrasts sharply with the personal stakes of the superheroes and civilians, driving conflict between greed and altruism. This thematic integration helps foreground the dangers posed by the unchecked power that corporations wield over individuals.

Suggestions

Create scenes where Julia's motivations clash with the ideals of heroism.
Further establish how her ambitions may contribute to larger societal issues.

Follow-up Questions

How does Julia view the evolving relationship between superheroes and society?
In what ways could she challenge the status quo?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 6

While she does not evoke outright sympathy, Julia’s decisions and corporate ambitions create a sense of unease, challenging the audience to confront the darker aspects of the superhero industry. Her interactions often reveal the emotional struggles of the characters affected by Vought's corporate policies, highlighting the cost of unchecked ambition.

Emotional Impact: Evokes tension and discomfort through ruthless behavior.

Suggestions

Introduce a moment that humanizes her emotionally amid corporate pressure.
Create scenes where her presence helps solidify emotional stakes for other characters.

Follow-up Questions

What could shift Julia’s image from a pure antagonist to a more layered character?
How can her corporate vision align or conflict with the audience's values?

Personality Types

MBTI: entj

Julia's assertive and commanding presence aligns with the ENTJ type, as she exhibits strong leadership and decision-making qualities.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: estj (65%)

Suggestions

Explore ENTJ traits through strategic dialogue and decisions reflecting her needs for clarity and control.
Highlight instances where her decisiveness supports or undermines her objectives.

Follow-up Questions

What specific organizational strategies might reveal her ENTJ nature?
How do her leadership qualities influence her relationship with subordinates?

Enneagram: type 3 - achiever

Julia's focus on success, image, and power aligns strongly with Type 3 motivations.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: type 8 - challenger (50%)

Suggestions

Delve into Julia's personal ambitions to flesh out why her achievements matter to her.
Explore how she responds to feeling threatened or challenged.

Follow-up Questions

What drives her ambitions for recognition within Vought?
How does she cope with failure or setbacks in her career?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (6)

Julia presents a carefully crafted corporate facade at the shareholder meeting, executing her role effectively.

Why: This scene showcases her power and control within the company, reflecting her ambitions and determination.

Weakest Scene (0)

none

Why: none

Suggestions:

none
none

Theme

Theme Details

Theme Explanation

Superheroism and Society (20%)

The film presents a complex exploration of superheroism in the eyes of society, highlighting both its allure and its dangers. It critiques the public's unrealistic expectations of superheroes and the tendency to idolize them, while also acknowledging the positive impact they can have on the world.

The film explores the intersection of superheroism and societal expectations. It delves into how these expectations can influence the behavior of superheroes and how their actions can impact the wider society.

Strengthening Superheroism and Society:

Suggestion Type	How to Strengthen the Theme
Dialogue - Scene 1	In the opening montage, include dialogue from ordinary citizens or media personalities expressing their perspectives on superheroes, ranging from admiration to skepticism. This will provide nuanced viewpoints and make the theme more relatable.
Character Arc	Develop Hughie's character arc to reflect the inner conflict of balancing his desire for justice with the moral compromises involved in associating with Butcher. This will explore the personal costs of confronting societal issues.
Action - Scene 8	When Starlight discovers Deep's illicit behavior, have her confront him with more force. This will demonstrate the complexities of superhero ethics and the consequences of compromising one's values.
Story Arc	Weave into the narrative the growing public awareness of the Seven's flaws and the subsequent backlash from society. This will highlight the dynamic relationship between superheroes and the communities they serve.
Visual - Scene 16	In the final confrontation, visually emphasize the contrast between Starlight's heroic actions and Homelander's villainous behavior. This will provide a striking visual representation of the theme, reinforcing the idea that true heroism lies in protecting society from those who abuse their power.

Power and Corruption (15%)

The film delves into the theme of power and corruption, showcasing how unchecked power can lead to dangerous consequences. It portrays the Seven as morally ambiguous characters, operating above the law and abusing their powers for personal gain.

The film examines the dangers of unchecked power and the potential for those in positions of great power to become corrupt. It explores the consequences of wielding immense power without accountability or moral restraint.

Trauma and Resilience (10%)

The film emphasizes the psychological toll of trauma, particularly exploring the aftermath of Robin's tragic death. It highlights Hughie's journey of grief and his resilience in seeking justice despite his loss.

The movie delves into the emotional impact of trauma and the importance of resilience in overcoming it. It demonstrates the various ways in which characters cope with grief, loss, and trauma, and how these experiences shape their growth and development.

Corporate Influence and Manipulation (10%)

The film exposes the corrupting influence of large corporations, exemplified by Vought International and their manipulative tactics. It illustrates how corporations can exploit and control superheroes for their own financial gain, while concealing the truth from the public.

The work explores how corporations can manipulate and influence superheroes for their own benefit. It examines the dangers of excessive corporate power and the ways in which it can corrupt individuals and undermine the integrity of a just society.

Search for Justice (10%)

The film portrays the characters' relentless pursuit of justice, exemplified by Hughie's determination to hold A-Train accountable for Robin's death. It highlights the challenges of seeking justice in a corrupt system while facing immense obstacles.

The movie follows the protagonist's journey to achieve justice for a loved one who was wronged or killed. It examines the challenges faced by individuals as they navigate a complex legal and social system to seek retribution and closure.

Identity and Authenticity (10%)

The film explores the themes of identity and authenticity through Starlight's journey of self-discovery. It showcases her struggle to reconcile her true self with the expectations of others and the demands of her superhero persona.

The film delves into the concept of identity and authenticity. It examines the tension between one's true self and the expectations imposed by society, exploring the challenges and rewards of embracing one's true identity.

Friendship and Loyalty (5%)

The film emphasizes the strength of friendship and loyalty, evident in the bond between Butcher and Hughie as they unite in their pursuit of justice. It depicts the unwavering support and camaraderie between the two characters despite the challenges they face.

The work explores the power of friendship and loyalty, showcasing the unbreakable bonds between characters. It demonstrates the ways in which friends support, protect, and inspire one another, even in the face of adversity.

Revenge and Retribution (5%)

The film delves into the dark side of revenge and retribution, exploring the consequences of seeking vengeance at any cost. It depicts the moral and psychological toll it takes on Butcher as he embarks on a path of violence.

The movie examines the theme of revenge and retribution. It explores the consequences of seeking vengeance, highlighting the emotional and moral turmoil it can cause to those who pursue it.

Hope and Optimism (5%)

Despite its dark and cynical elements, the film also offers a glimmer of hope and optimism through the character of Starlight. She represents the potential for change and the possibility of using one's powers for good.

The work infuses a message of hope and optimism into the narrative. It highlights the power of perseverance, resilience, and the ability to find light even in the darkest of times.

Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site	Description
Studio Binder	Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly	Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August	Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics	Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme	Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script	Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts

Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal Goals	The protagonist's internal goals evolved from seeking justice for his girlfriend's death to navigating moral dilemmas and standing up against injustice.
External Goals	The protagonist's external goals evolved from seeking financial compensation for his girlfriend's death to joining a group seeking revenge against superheroes.
Philosophical Conflict	The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around the tension between the idealized image of superheroes and the harsh reality of their flaws and imperfections.

Character Development Contribution: The protagonist's goals and conflicts contribute to his growth as he confronts moral dilemmas, stands up against injustice, and grapples with the complexities of heroism.

Narrative Structure Contribution: The goals and conflicts drive the narrative forward by creating tension, conflict, and moral ambiguity that propel the protagonist's journey and the overall story.

Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflicts deepen the thematic exploration of heroism, morality, and power dynamics, providing a nuanced examination of these concepts in a complex and morally ambiguous world.

Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site	Description
Creative Screenwriting	How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder	What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict	How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great	By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals	By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?

What's going on here? - Scenes are rated on many critreia. The goal isn't to try to maximize every number; \ It's to make you aware of what's happening in your scenes. You might have very good reasons to have character development but not advance the story, or have a scene without conflict. Obviously if your dialogue is really bad, you should probably look into that.

Abbreviate Headers

Story Content

Character Development

Scene Elements

Audience Engagement

Technical Aspects

			Story Content			Character Development				Scene Elements					Audience Engagement				Technical Aspects
Click for Full Analysis	Tone	Overall	Concept	Plot	Originality	Characters	Character Changes	Internal Goal	External Goal	Conflict	Opposition	High stakes	Story forward	Twist	Emotional Impact	Dialogue	Engagement	Pacing	Formatting	Structure
1 - The Glorification of Superheroes	Satirical, Witty, Sarcastic	8	8	7	9	8	5	8	7	6	8	5	7	7	6	9	8	9	9	9
2 - Tragic Accident	Playful, Heartbreaking, Shocking	9	8	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	8	9	9	8	10	8	9	8	8	8
3 - Grief and Determination	Heartbreak, Grief, Shock, Anger, Sympathy	8	8	9	9	8	7	8	7	8	8	8	9	8	9	7	9	8	8	8
4 - Conflicting Paths and Broken Dreams	Grief, Anger, Shock, Betrayal, Desperation	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	7.5	9	9	8	9	9	10	8	9	8.5	8	8
5 - Starlight's Arrival and Presentation	Dramatic, Intense, Emotional, Suspenseful	8	8	8	9	7	8	8	7	8	7	8	8	7	9	7	9	8	8	8
6 - Starlight's Debut and Butcher's Revelation	Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Dramatic	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	7.5	9	8	9	9	7	9	8	9	8	8	8
7 - The Recruitment	Dark, Intense, Suspenseful, Emotional	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
8 - Deep's Secret	Tense, Dark, Intense, Emotional	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
9 - Unveiling the Truth	Tense, Dark, Intense, Suspenseful	8	8	8	9	7	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	8
10 - Aftermath and Plans Amidst the Darkness	Tense, Suspenseful, Dark, Emotional	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	9	9	9
11 - Negotiation and Intrigue	Tense, Emotional, Dark, Suspenseful	8	8	9	9	8	7	8	7	8	8	8	9	8	9	7	9	8	8	8
12 - A Daughter's Journey	Emotional, Reflective, Compassionate	8	7	7	9	9	7	8	7	4	7	3	5	7	9	8	9	8	8	8
13 - The Showdown	Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Confrontational	8	8	7	9	9	7	8	7	9	8	9	8	7	8	8	9	8	8	8
14 - Hughie's Stealth Mission in the Seven Tower	Anxious, Tense, Suspenseful, Relieved, Intense	8	8	9	9	7	6	8	9	8	8	9	9	8	7	7	9	9	9	9
15 - A Shocking Encounter	Intense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Dark	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	9	8	8
16 - Electrocution and Plane Crash	Intense, Suspenseful, Dark, Emotional	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	9	9	8	9	9	8	9	7	9	9	8	8

Summary of Scene Level Analysis

Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.

Scene Strengths

Intense action
Emotional depth
High stakes
Revelation of character identities
Compelling storytelling

Scene Weaknesses

Some scenes may be too intense for sensitive viewers
Potentially triggering content
Limited impact on main plot progression
Limited character interactions
Potential confusion with the introduction of new characters and powers

Suggestions

Consider toning down some of the more intense scenes to make the screenplay more accessible to all audiences.
Be mindful of potentially triggering content and handle it with care and sensitivity.
Ensure that all scenes have a clear purpose in advancing the main plot.
Look for opportunities to deepen character interactions and relationships.
Consider streamlining the introduction of new characters and powers to avoid confusion.

World Building

Physical environment: The world of “The Boys” combines elements of a modern urban setting with the extraordinary presence of superheroes. There are towering skyscrapers like the Seven Tower and bustling locations such as Times Square, which serve as a backdrop to the action-packed scenes. However, the world is not limited to the city; suburban houses, parks, and secret hideouts provide a diverse range of environments that reflect the complexity of the characters' lives and the conflicts they face. The high-tech equipment and advanced security measures seen throughout the screenplay contribute to a sense of realism and highlight the influence of technology in this world.
Culture: In the world of “The Boys,” the culture is heavily influenced by the presence of superheroes. The Seven are idolised by the public and have a significant media presence, with their actions and personal lives constantly scrutinized. This celebrity culture has led to the emergence of superhero merchandise, fan clubs, and even religious groups like 'Capes for Christ.' However, beneath the surface of hero worship lies a darker reality, where the superheroes' true nature is often hidden from the public.
Society: The society in “The Boys” revolves around superheroes, who are seen as protectors and saviors. The public has immense faith in their abilities and relies on them for safety and security. This has created a hierarchical structure, with superheroes at the top and ordinary citizens at the bottom. The power dynamics between these two groups are often explored, as the superheroes' actions can have far-reaching consequences for the lives of ordinary people.
Technology: Technology plays a significant role in the world of “The Boys.” Advanced security systems like Vimtag Security Cameras and polygraph tests are commonly used, reflecting the technologically advanced nature of society. The superheroes themselves possess unique abilities and gadgets that enhance their powers, such as Translucent's invisibility cloak and Queen Maeve's superhuman strength. This integration of technology into the superhero world creates a sense of realism and adds to the excitement of the action sequences.
Characters influence: The unique physical environment, culture, society, and technology in “The Boys” significantly shape the characters' experiences and actions. The presence of superheroes creates a constant sense of awe and excitement for the characters, but it also exposes them to danger and moral dilemmas. The hierarchical society forces them to navigate power dynamics and question their own values. The advanced technology enhances their abilities but also raises concerns about privacy and control.
Narrative contribution: The world elements in “The Boys” contribute to the narrative by providing a backdrop for the complex conflicts and character arcs. They create a sense of realism and immersiveness that allows the audience to connect with the story on a deeper level. The juxtaposition of the mundane and the extraordinary adds to the tension and suspense, as the characters struggle to reconcile their expectations with the darker reality of the superhero world.
Thematic depth contribution: The world elements in “The Boys” enhance the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring issues such as the dangers of hero worship, the corruption of power, and the struggle between good and evil. The characters' interactions with the physical environment, culture, society, and technology reveal the complexities of human nature and the moral ambiguities that arise in a world where superheroes exist.

Voice Analysis
Summary:	The writer's voice is characterized by its authenticity, humor, grit, and dark satire.
Voice Contribution	The writer's voice contributes to the script by creating a unique tone that blends humor with serious themes. This voice engages the audience and keeps them invested in the story despite its often dark and disturbing content.
Best Representation Scene	4 - Conflicting Paths and Broken Dreams
Best Scene Explanation	This scene is the best representation of the writer's voice because it perfectly captures the blend of humor and darkness that is characteristic of the screenplay. The scene is funny on the surface, with Homelander mocking the socialites and signing their autographs with a bored expression. However, there is also a darker undercurrent to the scene, as it highlights the superficiality and vapidity of the superhero world. Homelander is bored and uninterested in the people who idolize him, and he uses his fame to manipulate and control them.

Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Pattern	Explanation
Emotional Scenes are highly rated	Scenes with a strong emotional impact tend to receive higher overall grades. This suggests that the author is particularly skilled at writing emotionally resonant scenes.
Dialogue is a Strength	The dialogue in the screenplay is consistently rated highly, indicating the author's ability to write natural and engaging dialogue.
Emotional Impact and Stakes Go Hand-in-Hand	Scenes with high emotional impact also tend to have high stakes, suggesting that the author effectively uses emotional tension to drive the plot.
Character Changes Lack Consistency	While individual scenes may feature strong character development, the overall consistency of character changes across the screenplay could be improved. This may be an area to focus on in future drafts.
Emotional Rollercoaster	The screenplay effectively shifts between a wide range of emotions, with scenes of humor and playfulness juxtaposed with scenes of heartbreak and grief, creating a dynamic and engaging narrative experience.
Tense and Suspenseful Atmosphere	A substantial number of scenes are characterized by tension, suspense, and darkness, creating a heightened sense of atmosphere and urgency throughout the screenplay.

Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

The analyzed scenes showcase the writer's strong foundation in screenwriting craft, with a focus on character development, dialogue, and thematic depth. However, there are areas where improvement would elevate the writing to an even higher level.

Key Improvement Areas

Pacing and Structure

Multiple scenes could benefit from tighter pacing and clearer narrative structure to enhance the flow and impact of the storytelling.

Character Development

Some scenes could benefit from deeper character exploration and stronger motivations to make the characters more relatable and emotionally engaging.

Conflict and Tension

Certain scenes could be strengthened by introducing more intense conflicts and heightening the tension to create a more gripping and suspenseful narrative.

Dialogue

While the dialogue is well-written in general, some scenes could benefit from more nuanced and impactful exchanges to convey character emotions and motivations more effectively.

Suggestions

Type	Suggestion	Rationale
Screenplay	Read 'Save the Cat' by Blake Snyder	This book provides valuable insights into storytelling techniques, character development, and pacing, addressing key improvement areas identified in the scene analyses.
Exercise	Practice writing scenes with escalating tension and conflictPractice In SceneProv	This exercise helps develop the writer's ability to create engaging and suspenseful scenes, an area identified for improvement.
Video	Watch interviews with screenwriters known for their character-driven storytelling, such as Aaron Sorkin	These interviews offer insights into the craft of character development and can help enhance the writer's ability to create relatable and compelling characters.
Screenplay	Study screenplays by writers known for their sharp dialogue, such as Quentin Tarantino	Analyzing screenplays with strong dialogue can help the writer improve their craft and create more impactful and engaging conversations between characters.
Course	Consider taking a course on screenwriting fundamentals to strengthen the basics of storytelling, structure, and character development	A structured course can provide a comprehensive approach to addressing multiple areas for improvement identified in the scene analyses.

Additional Notes: The writer demonstrates a strong understanding of the craft with a unique voice and style. By focusing on the key improvement areas and incorporating the suggested exercises and resources, the writer has the potential to craft even more compelling and impactful screenplays in the future.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope	Trope Details	Trope Explanation
Superhero Team	The Seven is a team of superheroes led by Homelander.	The trope of a superhero team is a common theme in superhero stories, where a group of individuals with superpowers come together to fight evil or protect the world. An example of this trope is the Avengers in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Tragic Origin Story	Robin is unexpectedly killed by a superhero named A-Train, leaving Hughie in shock.	The trope of a tragic origin story involves a character experiencing a traumatic event that shapes their motivations and actions throughout the story. An example of this trope is Batman witnessing his parents' murder, leading him to become a vigilante.
Secret Organization	Butcher reveals he is a member of a group that spanks Supes who step out of line.	The trope of a secret organization involves a group with hidden agendas and operations that impact the main characters and the story's events. An example of this trope is the Men in Black organization in the Men in Black film series.
Corrupt Corporation	Vought International offers settlements to victims of superhero incidents and covers up their involvement.	The trope of a corrupt corporation involves a powerful entity engaging in unethical practices for profit or control. An example of this trope is the Umbrella Corporation in the Resident Evil video game series.
Betrayal	Deep threatens Starlight to keep a secret about his misconduct, betraying her trust.	The trope of betrayal involves a character breaking trust or loyalty with another character, leading to conflict and emotional turmoil. An example of this trope is Snape betraying Dumbledore in the Harry Potter series.
Underdog Protagonist	Hughie is a regular person who seeks justice for his girlfriend's death and uncovers secrets about superheroes.	The trope of an underdog protagonist involves a character who is underestimated or faces overwhelming odds but rises to the challenge and proves their worth. An example of this trope is Rocky Balboa in the Rocky film series.
Moral Dilemma	Starlight faces a moral dilemma when she witnesses Deep's misconduct and must decide whether to keep it a secret.	The trope of a moral dilemma involves a character being torn between two conflicting choices, each with ethical implications and consequences. An example of this trope is the trolley problem in ethical philosophy.
Power Corrupts	Homelander causes a plane crash, revealing his true psychopathic nature.	The trope of power corrupts involves a character becoming morally compromised or abusive when given authority or superhuman abilities. An example of this trope is Anakin Skywalker's transformation into Darth Vader in Star Wars.
Innocent Bystander	Hughie witnesses Robin's death and becomes embroiled in a conflict between superheroes and a secret organization.	The trope of an innocent bystander involves a character who is caught up in dangerous or extraordinary events beyond their control due to being in the wrong place at the wrong time. An example of this trope is Frodo Baggins in The Lord of the Rings.
Redemption Arc	Starlight seeks redemption for her actions and struggles with ethical dilemmas within The Seven.	The trope of a redemption arc involves a character who seeks to atone for past mistakes or misdeeds by undergoing personal growth and positive change. An example of this trope is Zuko in Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number	Line
1	Hughie: ‘Laying pipe’ means sex. ‘Laying cable’ means you want me to come to your house and take a shit.
3	Hughie: You people say ‘condolences’ and ‘my regrets’ and ‘our sympathies,’ but no one can look me in the fucking eye and say “I’m sorry!”
5	Julia Stillwell: It’s a good time to be in the Superhero Business.
6	Deep: Hey. You’re here because you’re meant to be here.
15	Butcher: Let him be, you invisible cunt.

Some Loglines to consider:

A man devastated by his girlfriend's death seeks revenge against superheroes with the help of a vigilante.
In a world where superheroes are worshipped, one man plants a bug to take down The Seven and avenge his girlfriend's death.
A tech genius joins forces with a vigilante to seek revenge against the very superheroes he once idolized.
Superheroes are the norm, but when a tech salesman's girlfriend dies, he takes matters into his own hands to seek justice.
In a world full of heroes, one man takes matters into his own hands to avenge his girlfriend's death and take down a corrupt team of supers.

Help & FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

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Click on any scene title to view the full analysis, including critiques and suggestions for improvement.
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THE BOYS

Pilot

TA "The Name of the Game"

Teleplay by
Eric Kripke

Based on the Comic by
Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson

Directed by
Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg
U

NETWORK DRAFT 6
October 15, 2017

Copyright © 2017
SONY PICTURES TELEVISION INC.
All Rights Reserved
No portion of this script may be performed, or reproduced by
any means, or quoted, or published in any medium without prior
consent of SONY PICTURES TELEVISION INC. * 10202 West Washington
Boulevard * Culver City, CA 90232 *
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 1.

THE BOYS
“The Name of the Game”
FADE IN...
OPEN on COMIC BOOK PICTURES WHIRRING PAST. Golden Age to
Modern Age. Beloved heroes you all know and love -- like
Soldier Boy, Lamplighter, and most of all, the Homelander.
Until the images coalesce into a block of text:
VOUGHT STUDIOS PRESENTS:
Then -- A SNAP OF STATIC TAKES US TO --
YOUTUBE. Hand-held iPhone video of a statuesque warrior
(QUEEN MAEVE) kicking the SHIT out of a robber.
Now Queen Maeve perp-walks the cuffed robber to the waiting
NYPD. Most notable is the CROWD that’s gathered around,
cheering and chanting her name. A galaxy of phone FLASHES,
as everyone else records it, too.
The CHRYON along the bottom: “EYEWITNESS FOOTAGE OF QUEEN
TA
MAEVE IN ACTION!”
Which LAUNCHES us into a fast-paced FIREHOSE RUSH of IMAGES.
TV, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat. A multi-faceted, multi-
media world -- but one thing unites us all:
WE LOVE SUPERHEROES.
E! CHANNEL. VIDEO FOOTAGE of the DEEP, a handsome-as-hell
aquatic hero in a skin-tight suit, in Long Island, comforting
a beached whale. Bystanders call out his name (”DEEP!
DEEP!”) as TWO E! NEWS ANCHORS dish about his granite abs.
U
SNAP! A moody, Michael Bay-style image of THE SEVEN, the
world’s most popular Superhero Team. Homelander, Queen
Maeve, the Deep, the Lamplighter, others.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
The Seven. The greatest Superhero
Team on the planet.
(then)
And now you can bring them home.
Collect all Seven commemorative
glasses from McDonal--
SNAP! It’s a Christian Channel. CAPTAIN FANTASTIC, on-stage
in a MEGACHURCH. A big BANNER behind: “CAPES FOR CHRIST.”
Adoring CONGREGANTS clasp their hands in prayer.
CAPTAIN FANTASTIC
And it’s just a few short weeks to
our incredible “Believe” festival,
where we give praise to the most
powerful hero of them all, Je--

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 2.
CONTINUED:
SNAP! INSTAGRAM. Video taken from the middle of a
rambunctious crowd that’s WAY LARGER than the others we’ve
seen. POLICE barely hold them back. SHRIEKING FOR --
HOMELANDER! Head of the Seven and the world’s biggest
Superhero. If Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise and John Wayne all gang-
banged. He waves from the red carpet of a UNICEF benefit.
People go FUCKING BANANAS, SHOVE against the cops. It’s like
Beatlemania.
‘Likes’ for this Instagram Post shoot into the stratosphere.
Finally -- a LOCAL NEWS INTERVIEW with a GIRL, 20. She’s
bawling her eyes out.
GIRL
...he just... Homelander does so
much to protect us... and to be this
close to him, it’s... overwhelming.
Homelander, if you see this, Adrian
from Brooklyn loves you, loves you
with all her heart...
We PULL BACK. Revealing we’re watching a FLAT SCREEN --
TA
INT. UPPER WEST SIDE APARTMENT - NIGHT
In an upscale living room. As we meet HUGHIE (20’s, slight,
kind). In a “BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL” shirt. Installing
someone’s new TV. As well as their Blu-Ray. Sonos.
Programming their Universal Remote. Hughie does it all. We
see his FINGERS, dexterous and deft. He’s quite the tech
virtuoso.
MOMENTS LATER. He presents the BILL on a clipboard -- to a
U
WEST SIDE MOM in a New York Power Suit. She only half pays
attention, as she returns work emails on her phone.
HUGHIE
You sure? We’re running a special
on Vimtag Security Cameras. HD.
You can access ‘em from your phone.
WEST SIDE MOM
Thanks but no. I don’t think we
really need ‘em. My nanny’s here
all the time.
Hughie just has one of those sincere, earnest faces. He nods
to the woman’s 7-YEAR-OLD in a HOMELANDER COSTUME, playing
with his Dominican NANNY.
HUGHIE
Course. And you got the Homelander
watching over things.
(off the Mom’s smile)
But, you know, the Homelander can’t
be everywhere at once. Neither can
the cops.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 3.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE (CONT'D)
Or the nanny, for that matter. No,
if we wanna keep an eye on our kids?
That’s up to us. Even if we’re
working long hours and late nights.
Know what I mean?
Mom looks up from her phone. Clearly a long hour worker.
HUGHIE
Maybe you don’t need the cameras,
but what about that one time you do?
Is there such a thing as too safe?
Off Hughie. Smiling warmly. Making the sale.
INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - NIGHT
A Mom-and-Pop ELECTRONICS STORE. TV’s and STEREO EQUIPMENT
on the shelves. Hughie behind the counter. As --
The bell over the door RINGS. ROBIN (20’s, girl-next-door
cute) enters. She sidles up to Hughie, as if a customer --
TA ROBIN
Excuse me, sir? I want to schedule
an appointment. For you to come
over and --
(arches an eyebrow)
Lay some cable.
HUGHIE
(smiles)
Robin. That doesn’t mean what you
think it means.
U
ROBIN
‘Laying cable’ means sex.
HUGHIE
‘Laying pipe’ means sex. ‘Laying
cable’ means you want me to come to
your house and take a shit.
ROBIN
(laughing)
That’s disgusting.
HUGHIE
Hey, you said it.
ROBIN
You ready yet? Despite your best
efforts, I’m still hungry.

Genres: Superhero, Comedy, Drama
Tone: Satirical, Witty, Sarcastic

Summary The opening scene presents a montage of media images, showcasing the immense popularity and societal impact of superheroes, particularly The Seven led by Homelander. It highlights the public's adoration for these heroes and their presence in various aspects of culture. The scene emphasizes the emotional connection people have with superheroes, ending with a focus on Homelander's immense following.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Engaging characters
Satirical tone

Weaknesses

Lack of significant conflict
Minimal character development

General Critique

The scene starts with a montage of media images and footage showcasing the popularity and societal impact of superheroes, setting the tone for the script. However, the transition from the media images to Hughie installing a TV in a customer's home feels abrupt and disconnected.
The dialogue between Hughie and the West Side Mom discussing security cameras and the Homelander costume worn by her son feels forced and unnatural. The conversation lacks depth and authenticity, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
The interaction between Hughie and Robin in the electronics store also feels contrived and cliched. The humor around the misunderstanding of 'laying cable' comes across as juvenile and detracts from the overall tone of the scene.
The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose, failing to establish a strong narrative or character development. It feels disjointed and fails to engage the audience effectively.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between the media montage and Hughie's introduction. This will help establish a stronger connection between the different elements of the script.
Focus on developing more authentic and meaningful dialogue between the characters to enhance their relationships and make the scene more engaging for the audience.
Avoid relying on cliched humor and instead strive for more nuanced and original interactions between the characters. This will help elevate the quality of the scene and make it more memorable.
Ensure that each scene serves a clear purpose in advancing the plot and developing the characters. Establish a cohesive narrative flow to keep the audience invested in the story.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. NEW YORK SIDE STREET - NIGHT
OPEN ON A BUS-STOP POSTER. A completely BLACK SUITED HERO in
a cologne ad. “BLACK NOIR for DRAKKAR NOIR.”

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 4.
CONTINUED:
As Hughie and Robin, holding hands, walk down an empty SIDE-
STREET. She CHUCKLES at a story he just told --
ROBIN
...so you got her from ‘no thanks,’
to four cameras?
HUGHIE
What can I say? I’m a good fucking
salesman.
(off Robin’s eye-roll)
Hey, I got you, didn’t I?
ROBIN
Barely!
(beat)
Speaking of, Mr. Salesman. Did you
ask for the raise?
Hughie takes a half-beat. He knows Robin isn’t going to like
this, but plays it off, casually.
HUGHIE
Gary was totally supportive -- he
TA
just says things are slow. Next
year, though, for sure.
ROBIN
Okay.
Hughie looks at her. Feels guilty.
HUGHIE
What do you want me to do? Go in
there and kick his ass?
U
ROBIN
I said ‘okay.’
HUGHIE
But you didn’t mean it. I see that
look. C’mon, let’s hear it.
ROBIN
(sighs, alright)
You’re the best guy there, by a long
shot -- and Gary’s taking advantage
of you -- and yeah, you should get
in there and fight for it.
This is banter, not bickering. A sign of how much they love,
and are comfortable with, each other.
HUGHIE
Jesus. I didn’t realize you needed
a sugar daddy.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 5.
CONTINUED: (2)
ROBIN
Blow me. This is about you getting
what you deserve. Hell, I’m killing
myself at school cause it’s gonna
pay off -- for both of us. I mean,
if we’re moving in together --
Robin takes one step off the curb into the street, about to
cross. But Hughie stops on a dime.
HUGHIE
Wait. What’d you just say?
ROBIN
(breaks into a grin)
Well, we can’t keep -- laying pipe --
at your parent’s place. Trying to
keep quiet, staring up at that dumb
Zeppelin poster.
HUGHIE
(also grins)
Hey. Don’t ever besmirch the
Zeppelin poster.
TA
He’s still on the curb, she’s still one step in the street.
As he leans forward and kisses her. Like none he’s ever had
before -- or ever will again.
Hughie steps back, holding both of Robin’s hands. They’re so
in love, then --
SMASH! Robin is suddenly, shockingly ATOMIZED before
Hughie’s eyes. Blood and gummy bits of viscera spatter
against Hughie’s face. Hughie still holds Robin’s hands.
U
But that’s all he’s holding. They’re gory, detached.
It happens so fast, Hughie doesn’t have time to react.
As fast-running hero A-TRAIN skids to a stop. Robin’s
insides all over his costumed outsides. He clutches a
distinctive BLUE DUFFEL BAG tight to his chest. The
motherfucker just ran right through Hughie’s girlfriend.
A-Train is straight-up frightened. Jittery as hell. But not
because of what he just did. Then why?
A-TRAIN
(sputtering)
Oh God, I’m -- I’m sorry. But I
can’t stop. I can’t stop.
And with that, A-Train RACES away at supersonic speeds,
leaving a blurred trail of motion in his wake.
And leaving Hughie. Alone. Holding two bloody hands. In
shock, he can’t let them go. Until some emotion -- some
abject horror -- begins to seep in...

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 6.
CONTINUED: (3)
HUGHIE
(a whisper)
... R... Rob...
WIDE SHOT. Down the street. Hughie is small in the frame.
His voice distant, ragged, wrenching, as finally:
HUGHIE
ROBIN! ROBIN!!
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - DES MOINES, IOWA - DAY
A generic Nissan Altima pulls up before a generic office
park. STARLIGHT (20’s, blonde, sweet, in a reasonably modest
superhero outfit) climbs out of the passenger seat. She
clutches a HEADSHOT, looks nervous.
But not as nervous as her MOTHER. Who licks her finger,
smooths out Starlight’s eyebrow.
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
Whatever you do, don’t chew your
thumbnail. And remember to smile.
TA
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - WAITING ROOM - DAY
All beige, all the time. Water cooler burps. A table with a
sad, out of date PEOPLE magazine. Metal folding chairs
occupied by a few exotically-garbed SUPERHEROINES. (Let’s
play the clash between the mundane and the superheroic).
Starlight enters, signs in. Nods at one of the other
Superheroines, apparently no love lost.
STARLIGHT
U
Hey Countess.
COUNTESS
Starlight. Omigod. So good to see
you. Is that a new headshot?
STARLIGHT
No. Same one.
COUNTESS
It’s so nice.
Countess gives a “I’m pretending to like you but I fucking
hate your guts” grin. Starlight smiles back, self-conscious.
From there, we enter a MONTAGE of Starlight’s bizarre
AUDITION. INTERCUTTING:
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - AUDITION ROOM - DAY
VIDEO CAMERA POV. It SNAPS to life. Focusing in on
Starlight. Anxious.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 7.
CONTINUED:
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Please slate for the camera.
STARLIGHT
Yeah, I’m, um, Starlight. 5 foot 8,
127 pounds.
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Turn around please.
She rotates, an awkward 360 degree turn. Then --
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Okay, let’s see it, dear.
STARLIGHT
You should look away --
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Sorry?
STARLIGHT
Turn away from camera and shut your
TA
eyes. Or else I’ll blind you.

Alright.
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Go ahead.
Starlight concentrates -- it starts with her eyes, which glow
white hot -- then the OVERHEAD FLUORESCENTS FLICKER and FADE,
as she draws energy from her nearby surroundings --
Until her EYES emit a J.J. Abrams-style, blazing LIGHT BURST
that explodes into the room --
U
The camera FREEZES and FRITZES and RATTLES at the concussive
blast. When it resumes, it’s on its side, Starlight is
crouching over someone just off camera, upset --
STARLIGHT
I’m so sorry, are you alright?
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Just fine, dear. Very impressive.
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - BATHROOM - DAY
Starlight on the toilet. Clearly peeing. (You never see
superheroes peeing!) Then she reaches beneath her, pulls out
the plastic urine test cup. Begins to label it...

Genres: Superhero, Drama, Comedy
Tone: Playful, Heartbreaking, Shocking

Summary While walking down a street, Hughie and his girlfriend Robin are suddenly struck by A-Train; Robin is killed instantly. Hughie is left in shock, holding her detached hands.

Strengths

Emotional impact
Character development
Plot twist

Weaknesses

Sudden shift in tone may be jarring for some viewers

General Critique

The transition from the previous scene to this one is abrupt and lacks a smooth connection. It jumps from a tragic and intense moment to a completely different setting and tone without a clear transition.
The dialogue between Hughie and Robin feels a bit forced and unnatural, especially in the way they discuss their relationship and future plans. It could benefit from more authentic and organic conversation.
The sudden and shocking death of Robin feels somewhat contrived and overly dramatic. It may be more impactful to build up to this moment gradually, allowing the audience to connect with the characters and feel the weight of the loss.
The introduction of A-Train and his actions could be more effectively portrayed to enhance the tension and emotional impact of the scene. The character's motivations and reactions could be further developed to make the moment more compelling.
The scene lacks depth and emotional resonance, failing to fully explore the grief and trauma experienced by Hughie after witnessing Robin's death. This aspect could be delved into more deeply to create a more powerful and poignant moment.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider revising the transition between scenes to create a smoother flow and connection between the different settings and tones.
Work on refining the dialogue between Hughie and Robin to make it more authentic and engaging, reflecting a natural conversation between two people in a relationship.
Revisit the portrayal of Robin's death and A-Train's actions to make them more realistic and impactful, building up the tension and emotional stakes of the scene.
Focus on exploring Hughie's emotional journey and trauma in more depth, allowing the audience to connect with his grief and shock on a deeper level.
Consider adding layers to the characters and their interactions to create a more nuanced and compelling scene that resonates with the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. OFFICE BUILDING - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
Starlight sits at a POLYGRAPH. Wears sensors. A bland
technician across from her, taking notes. (Fun fact: these
are real questions from CIA employee interviews.)

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 8.
CONTINUED:
TECHNICIAN
Have you ever plotted to overthrow
the United States of America?
STARLIGHT
No.
The Technician inspects the answer. Mutters to himself.
Betrays nothing. Starlight starts chewing her thumbnail.
TECHNICIAN
How do you feel when you see a small
animal in distress?
STARLIGHT
Um. Bad.
TECHNICIAN
Did you ever feel sexual urges when
sitting in your parents’ lap?
STARLIGHT
What? No. God. No.
TA
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - AUDITION ROOM - DAY
VIDEO CAMERA POV. Starlight in the midst of an interview.
She speaks with genuine heart.
STARLIGHT
...I was just... like most Super-
Abled, I was born like this. My Mom
was thrilled. She made me go to all
those little miss hero pageants. I
hated it, I can still smell the
U
hairspray. And at the Q and A, they
always asked me my wish. And I
always said, “to save the world.”
The judges chuckled, like it was
cute. But it’s not a joke to me.
Since when did ‘hopeful’ and ‘naive’
become the same thing? Why get into
this business, if not to save the
world? It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
And it’s why all I’ve ever wanted
was to be in the Seven...
Off her pixelated video image...
INT. ROBIN’S PARENTS’ APARTMENT - FEW DAYS LATER
PHOTOS of ROBIN. Surrounded by thick FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS.
A ROOMFUL of somber people in DARK SUITS, eating from small
plates. We notice a WOMAN crying into a MAN’s shoulder.
Robin’s PARENTS. This is the post-funeral reception.
Everyone stands close, united in grief. Except for --

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 9.
CONTINUED:
Hughie. Sits in the corner. Alone. In a suit and tie. He
holds a plate with a square of ambrosia Jell-O salad on it.
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. A maelstrom of heartbreak, pain and
emotion, beneath a numb shell. He looks up, sees --
POV. Two CHILDREN in nice clothes, sprawled before the TV.
Watching a “SEVEN” CARTOON. Even here, even now... most
people are FANS...
INT. HUGHIE’S FAMILY APARTMENT - QUEENS - DAY
Hughie returns back to his FAMILY APARTMENT. Tie loosened.
His zaftig MOM follows, along with his wheezing FATHER
(sallow, skinny, rolling an oxygen tank beside him).
Dad thumps on the couch, flips on the TV.
HUGHIE’S MOM
Well, I thought it was a lovely
service. Just lovely.
Hughie. What’s he supposed to say? It was awesome?
TA HUGHIE’S MOM
Did you eat? Can I -- fix you some
pizza rolls?
HUGHIE
...I’m not hungry.
HUGHIE’S MOM
(noticing the TV)
Oh, honey. Look.
U
ON THE SCREEN. Six o’clock news. A PRESS CONFERENCE. A-
TRAIN. Beside VOUGHT VICE-PRESIDENT of HERO MANAGEMENT JULIA
STILLWELL (40’s).
Hughie noticeably flinches at this.
JULIA STILLWELL (ON TV)
...and as you know, A-Train was
placed on standard administrative
leave until the NYPD could conduct
their investigation. Which they’ve
now concluded -- and have ruled no
wrong-doing. But that doesn’t begin
to convey the terrible regret we all
feel at this awful, tragic loss...
A-TRAIN (ON TV)
My deepest condolences to Robin
Ward’s family. I was chasing those
bank robbers... and she just...
stepped into the middle of the
street... and I couldn’t...
A-Train trails off, choked up. Golden Globe-worthy.
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 10.
CONTINUED:
Hughie mutters to himself. Devastated.
HUGHIE
Middle of the --? She was a half-
step off the fucking curb.
DING DONG! The door.
Mom swings open the door, revealing a VOUGHT LAWYER -- DOUG
FRIEDMAN. All Clinton-esque, lip-biting sympathy.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
Does a Hugh Campbell live here?
INT. HUGHIE’S FAMILY APARTMENT - MINUTES LATER - NIGHT
A small stack of LEGAL DOCUMENTS on a TABLE. Hughie sits in
front of the lawyer. Scans the papers.
Hughie’s Mom observes. Dad still watches TV in the back,
seemingly catatonic, wheezing through his nose tube.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
TA ...really, everyone at Vought is
just... wrecked about Robin...
(then, as a ‘friend’)
Now. You two weren’t married and --
look, technically there’s no legal
claim. But still, Vought wants to
do the right thing -- offer you 25
thousand in restitution.
HUGHIE’S MOM
(that’s life-changing)
25 thousand!
U
DOUG FRIEDMAN
It’s the least we could do, ma’am.
You just need to sign -- here -- and
I’ll hand over the check --
HUGHIE
(reading, realizing)
But this -- is a confidentiality
agreement.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
It’s a boiler plate NDA --
HUGHIE
I sign this, I can’t talk about it?
Have to pretend it didn’t happen?
That I wasn’t holding Robin’s arms
in my hands?
DOUG FRIEDMAN
I know you’re upset, but we’re just
trying to help --

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 11.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE
Then say you’re sorry --
DOUG FRIEDMAN
Excuse me?
Hughie builds a head of steam --
HUGHIE
You people say ‘condolences’ and ‘my
regrets’ and ‘our sympathies,’ but
no one can look me in the fucking
eye and say “I’m sorry!” I’m not
signing anything! Now get out!
Doug Friedman pauses a beat, unsure. Hughie charges over to
him, ROUGHLY HAULS HIM OUT OF HIS SEAT!
HUGHIE
I said GET THE HELL OUT!
TA SMASH CUT TO:
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Sitting quietly in his seat. That outburst
was just in his imagination. There’s churning lava deep down
inside him. But he’s not a fighter. Not yet.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
You okay? As I said, a boiler plate
NDA, really pretty standard.
HUGHIE
I’ll think about it.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
U
Hughie --
HUGHIE
Let me think about it.
Beat. Doug Friedman gives a smile. Reads the room.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
I get it. I’ll leave the document,
gimme a ring if you have questions.
(then)
You keep the pen, okay?
The LAWYER hands over a SILVER PEN labeled ‘VOUGHT.’
EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD - DES MOINES, IOWA - DAY
We soar over countless versions of the same middle class
house. Like some cloning experiment run horrifically amok.
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 12.

Genres: Drama, Superhero, Thriller
Tone: Heartbreak, Grief, Shock, Anger, Sympathy

Summary In this scene, Starlight undergoes a polygraph test for her interview with The Seven, expressing her desire to save the world. Meanwhile, Hughie attends Robin's funeral and grapples with grief and loss. He refuses a settlement from Vought International, maintaining his anger and seeking justice.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Plot advancement
Character development
Realistic portrayal of grief and loss

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly melodramatic

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from Starlight taking a polygraph test to Hughie attending Robin's funeral, which can be disorienting for the audience.
The polygraph test questions seem random and disconnected, lacking a cohesive theme or purpose.
The dialogue in the polygraph test feels forced and unnatural, especially the question about feeling sexual urges while sitting in parents' laps.
The emotional impact of Robin's death and Hughie's grief is overshadowed by the disjointed nature of the scene.
The introduction of Hughie's family and the Vought lawyer feels rushed and could benefit from more development and emotional depth.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to flow more smoothly between Starlight's polygraph test and Hughie's experience at the funeral.
Focus on creating a more coherent and meaningful set of questions for the polygraph test that tie into Starlight's character development.
Revise the dialogue in the polygraph test to feel more authentic and purposeful.
Enhance the emotional impact of Robin's death and Hughie's grief by giving these moments more space and depth.
Take the time to develop Hughie's family dynamics and the interaction with the Vought lawyer to add layers to the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
OPEN ON A BOOKCASE. Loaded with TROPHIES. RIBBONS. “LITTLE
MISS SUPERSTAR - 1st PLACE.” “SWEET CORN FESTIVAL & 5K RUN -
BEST OVERALL POWERS.” Etc. Along with a crowd of photos --
of a heavily made-up, Jon Benet-style Starlight, ages 4 thru
10, always jauntily posing, hands-on-hips, wearing a kid-
sized, homemade version of her outfit.
A shrine to a Mother’s pride in her daughter.
In the adjacent kitchen -- Starlight herself, in her grown-up
Superhero outfit, pours some Kraft Shells and Cheese into a
pot. Keeps one ear on a POLICE SCANNER, which babbles on
about some local loitering and a nasty rash of graffiti.
Her Mother enters -- listens briefly to the scanner --
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
Any maniacs out there?
STARLIGHT
Quiet night. Like every night.
TA STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
Too bad. We could use the press
right now.
(sees the pot, clucks)
Oh, Annie, could you pack any more
carbs into that?
Apparently, Annie is her ‘secret identity’ name.
STARLIGHT
I’m hungry, Mother. And would you
U
relax? I didn’t get the job.
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
You don’t know that, you’re better
than all of them.
When -- RING. RING. The phone. Mom goes to answer.
STARLIGHT
They’re auditioning nation-wide.
Besides, Countess probably got it,
she’s really good in a room.
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
If you’re negative, negative things
happen to you.
(picks up phone)
Hello? Um, I’m her Mother. Yes,
yes, one moment.
Mom holds out the phone, on pins and needles. Mouths “it’s
them!” Starlight can’t help but feel a stab of butterflies.
Moves for the phone.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 13.
CONTINUED:
STARLIGHT
Hello? Yes, this is she.
(then)
I -- got it? I GOT IT?!
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
YOU GOT IT!! YOU GOT IT!!
Off this rambunctious, unbridled maternal ECSTASY --
INT. ROBIN’S PARENTS’ APARTMENT - NIGHT
OPEN ON A FRAMED PHOTO in a much less happy home. ROBIN
beaming beside her loving PARENTS.
WIDER. Hughie sits at their kitchen table. Awkwardly
shuffles notes and papers.
In front of Robin’s Mom and Dad. Mom, red-rimmed eyes, only
stares down at her folded hands. Dad also averts eye
contact, impatiently taps his wedding ring onto his beer
bottle throughout. Clink. Clink.
TA HUGHIE
...so we can’t file criminal charges
against A-Train. Heroes are like
cops, they can’t be charged for
collateral damage while in pursuit.
Robin’s Mom wipes away a tear. This is all a painful
subject. Hughie continues --
HUGHIE
But -- but -- we can still file a
civil suit. I found a lawyer --
U
he’ll work on percentage, won’t even
charge us unless we win --
ROBIN’S DAD
Hughie --
HUGHIE
I just need you to jump in -- I’m
not family, I can’t really sue by
myself. But --
ROBIN’S DAD
Hughie. Stop. We’re not suing
anybody.
HUGHIE
What? Why not?
ROBIN’S DAD
There’s no case. She was in the
street. It’s the same as if she jay-
walked and a bus hit her.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 14.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE
She was a half-step off the curb!
Then Hughie spots it. On the table, right in front of the
parents: another SILVER ‘VOUGHT’ PEN. The truth falls on
Hughie like a ton of bricks.
HUGHIE
Wait, were they -- did you sign?
(silence speaks volumes)
You took their money? Gene?
Dad stops clinking the beer bottle. Searches Hughie’s face.
ROBIN’S DAD
How long have I known you, Hughie?
HUGHIE
Since -- Robin and me were in high
school.
ROBIN’S DAD
Prom night, actually. We met you,
in that tux two sizes too big -- and
TA
there are some kids who just have
that go-getter spark in their eye.
(then)
You were not one of those kids.
(glancing at his wife)
I’d say to her all the time, didn’t
I? What’s Robin see in him? Got no
drive, no fire, no fight. Boy
doesn’t give a shit about anything.
HUGHIE
U
I cared about your daughter. I’m
trying to fight now.
ROBIN’S DAD
(raw)
Too late. She’s dead. And you
wanna drag out some court case? So
we can relive her death?
(hand on his wife)
Yeah, we took the fucking money.
And now we wanna -- try to -- put it
all behind us.
HUGHIE
So what? A-Train just gets away
with this?
ROBIN’S DAD
There’s no case, she was in the
street! You let her step into the
street. It’s not A-Train we blame.
Off Hughie, as if absorbing a palpable body blow...
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 15.

EXT. NEW YORK STREET - NIGHT
Hughie. Walking down the street. Despondent. Listening to
a MESSAGE on his CELL --
DOUG FRIEDMAN (ON PHONE)
Hugh, this is Doug Friedman from
Vought, just checking in. Look, I
know the money can never make up for
losing Robin. But we can make
things a little easier for your
family, if you’d --
Hughie CLICKS it off. Then strangely, we CUT TO --
A STILL CAMERA POV. From inside a car. SNAPPING PICS of
Hughie. Clickclickclickclick. As he enters a bodega.
Who’s taking pictures? Off this mystery --
INT. NEW YORK BODEGA - NIGHT
A SIXER of BUD LIGHT. Pulled from the fridge case by Hughie.
TA
He’s on edge.
An edge he goes plummeting right over when --
He pivots in the cramped aisle. Coming face to face with A-
Train! Even worse, a DOZEN A-TRAINS! Side by side!
It’s a magazine rack. A-Train on the cover of US WEEKLY. He
smiles, hugging a chirpy BALD CANCER KID beneath the headline
“MAKING WISHES COME TRUE.”
Hughie, breathing shallow, backs away. Bumping against an
U
entire row of CEREAL. Box drops, Hughie looks.
Delicious FROSTED A-TRAINS. A whole fucking ROW of them.
WIDE ANGLE. Hughie. Spinning. Drowning. Now sees -- A-
Train on CANS of MONSTER ENERGY DRINK.
On a CARDBOARD CUT-OUT at the aisle’s end, cerveza in hand --
‘A-TRAIN CELEBRA CINCO DE MAYO.’
A-Train, A-Train, A-Train, A-Train.
The guy murdered the love of Hughie’s life. And everyone
idolizes the asshole.
Hughie’s chest is heaving now. He slides to the floor, back
against the wall. We leave him there -- in the throes of a
full blown PTSD PANIC ATTACK.

Genres: Drama, Superhero
Tone: Grief, Anger, Shock, Betrayal, Desperation

Summary Starlight eagerly celebrates a job offer while Hughie confronts the harsh reality of the superhero industry, triggered by Vought's manipulation and the overwhelming loss of Robin.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character development
Plot advancement

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly melodramatic

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from Starlight's celebratory moment of getting the job to Hughie's somber and emotional interaction with Robin's parents, which can be jarring for the audience.
The dialogue between Hughie and Robin's parents feels a bit forced and heavy-handed, lacking subtlety in conveying their emotions and motivations.
The scene lacks a clear resolution or progression in terms of character development or plot advancement, leaving the audience hanging without a satisfying conclusion.
The visual descriptions of Hughie's panic attack are vivid and impactful, but the transition to this intense moment feels rushed and could benefit from more build-up and emotional depth.
The scene could benefit from more nuanced exploration of Hughie's grief and anger, as well as the moral dilemmas faced by Starlight and her mother, to add depth and complexity to the characters and their motivations.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider smoothing out the transition between Starlight's excitement and Hughie's grief to create a more cohesive flow in the narrative.
Work on refining the dialogue between Hughie and Robin's parents to make their emotions and decisions more believable and relatable to the audience.
Try to provide a clearer resolution or progression in the scene to give the audience a sense of closure or advancement in the story.
Build up to Hughie's panic attack more gradually to create a more impactful and emotionally resonant moment for the audience.
Explore the characters' internal struggles and moral dilemmas more deeply to add layers of complexity and depth to their interactions and decisions.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. THE SEVEN TOWER - NEW YORK CITY - MORNING
PAN DOWN off the gleaming, sky-scraping, futuristic SEVEN
TOWER. To find --

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 16.
CONTINUED:
A LIMO PULLS UP. A ‘Vought’ PAGE opens the door for --
Starlight. Followed by her Mother. They gape up at the
Tower. At the CROWD of SCREAMING FANS behind the ropes. A
GROUP OF MEN and WOMEN APPROACH -- Starlight’s ENTOURAGE --
ASHLEY
Hi. I’m Ashley, I’m your publicist.
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
(holy shit!)
A publicist.
STARLIGHT
Hi. Hello.
ASHLEY
This is Rachel, hair and make-up.
Luis is your stylist. Dan and Rich,
they’re from your marketing and
social media teams. Amy’s your PA,
you need anything, you ask her. You
two thirsty? Amy!
TA STARLIGHT
(to the group)
I’m -- hi. No, we’re good.
ASHLEY
Well, Amy’s gonna get your Mom to
her seat, but you, you’re with me,
we’re gonna be late!
Starlight is dizzy already. A heady whirlwind of glamor.
Waves happily at her Mother as she’s whisked away.
U
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - AUDITORIUM - DAY
Starlight’s Mother, awed, takes her VIP front row seat among
a packed HOUSE of INVESTORS.
A SPOTLIGHT illuminates Vice-President of Hero Management
Julia Stillwell. Confident. Gregarious.
She pitches the crowd before a stage-wide video screen --
‘VOUGHT INTERNATIONAL: 2017 ANNUAL MEETING OF SHAREHOLDERS.’
Along with alternating images of their various projects.
Movie Posters. Theme Parks. Toys. Cartoons. Vought makes
Marvel look like a corn-studded piece of shit.
JULIA STILLWELL
...net income is up 14 percent,
our latest film “G-Men: World War”
grossed just shy of 1.7 billion
world-wide. This fall we break
ground on our newest theme park
outside of Paris. Our branding
opportunities are limitless.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 17.
CONTINUED:
JULIA STILLWELL (CONT'D)
It’s a good time to be in the
Superhero Business.
The crowd applauds -- Julia holds up her hand, goes sincere --
JULIA STILLWELL
But as we all know, none of that
matters. Because job one? Is
managing, supporting, and advising
the brave heroes who put themselves
in harm’s way each and every day.
For us. Take a look.
The spotlight snuffs out. Inspirational music swells, as a
slickly packaged P.R. video begins on the huge screen. TOMMY
LEE JONES got paid a shit-ton to narrate.
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
Vought International. Handling the
Business of Superheroes, so
Superheroes can handle their
Business...
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - ELEVATOR - DAY
TA
Starlight. Flanked by her team. Crowded elevator going up,
up and away. Make-up artist primps Starlight on the fly.
ASHLEY
You know, you’re doing really great
so far...
STARLIGHT
I haven’t done anything yet.
U
ASHLEY
Exactly. And you’re already up 2
and a half points with Midwesterners
and Conservative Christians in 18 to
49. I saw your audition, by the
way. The ‘saving the world’ thing.
Really brilliant.
STARLIGHT
I meant it.
ASHLEY
That’s why we love you. So. You
ready for your life to change?
Starlight’s overwhelmed but elated. Yeah. She thinks so.

Genres: Superhero, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Dramatic, Intense, Emotional, Suspenseful

Summary Starlight and her mother arrive at the Seven Tower, greeted by a team of professionals. Vought's Vice-President presents to investors, highlighting the company's success and support for superheroes. Starlight prepares for her first public appearance, feeling overwhelmed but excited.

Strengths

Compelling storytelling
Emotional depth
Realistic dialogue
Strong character development

Weaknesses

Some scenes may be too intense for sensitive viewers

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of conflict or tension, which is essential for engaging the audience and driving the story forward.
The dialogue feels somewhat superficial and lacks depth, especially considering the emotional turmoil the characters are going through.
The introduction of Starlight's entourage and the VIP treatment she receives feels cliched and predictable, missing an opportunity to delve deeper into her character and inner struggles.
The focus on Vought's financial success and branding opportunities detracts from the emotional core of the story, which should be centered around the personal journeys of the characters.
The transition between scenes from the limo arrival to the auditorium presentation feels disjointed and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the narrative.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Introduce a more personal conflict or obstacle for Starlight to overcome, showcasing her internal struggles and growth as a character.
Enhance the dialogue to reflect the emotional depth of the characters, especially in moments of vulnerability and conflict.
Consider exploring the relationship dynamics between Starlight and her mother in a more nuanced and authentic way, adding layers to their interactions.
Focus on character development and emotional resonance rather than exposition about Vought's success, to keep the audience invested in the personal journeys of the protagonists.
Work on creating a seamless transition between scenes to maintain the narrative flow and keep the audience engaged in the story progression.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - AUDITORIUM - DAY
The video continues. Classy Ken Burns style visuals. First,
we see black and white photos of a Captain America-like hero
named SOLDIER BOY.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 18.
CONTINUED:
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
...1944. Soldier Boy. The first
Superpowered human. To be followed
by more. Dozens more. Men and
women born -- blessed -- with
extraordinary genetic abilities.
Jonas Salk famously called them ‘a
leap forward in evolution.’ No
one’s quite sure why it happened,
but thank God it did.
Multiple IMAGES of HEROES flit past.
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
Until, of course, the apex. The
pinnacle. The formation of the most
popular Superhero Team the world’s
ever seen. THE SEVEN.
(crowd goes wild)
Led by -- not just a hero -- but an
American institution. As powerful
as he is humble. Ladies and
gentlemen -- the HOMELANDER.
TA
Now the crowd goes WILD. As a SPOTLIGHT appears in the
center of stage -- revealing the HOMELANDER. Live and in the
flesh! Giving an aw-shucks wave.
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
And please welcome the rest of the
Seven! QUEEN MAEVE. BLACK NOIR.
THE DEEP. A-TRAIN. TRANSLUCENT.
Spotlights BLAZE ON beside the Homelander. Introducing each
hero, in person. (Translucent is negative space in a suit --
U
an invisible man).
CLOSE ON STARLIGHT. Being shuffled out onto the stage by a
STAGE MANAGER. In shadow. Her moment’s about to come...
IN THE CROWD. Her Mother’s as nervous as she is.
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
And finally -- unless you live under
a rock, you’ve heard that after a
long, distinguished career with the
Seven, the Lamplighter has retired.
A grateful nation bids him a fond
farewell.
Adoring images of THE LAMPLIGHTER, along with Marines
saluting and children beaming their ‘thank you’s.’
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
But now -- as we turn towards the
future -- we introduce the newest
member of the Seven. Please welcome
-- STARLIGHT.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 19.
CONTINUED: (2)
The WHITE HOT SPOTLIGHT SNAPS onto Starlight. She smiles,
jittery, waves. Drinks in the crashing waves of applause.
Beside all of her idols. Locks eyes with --
IN THE CROWD. Her Mother. This is literally the single best
moment of Mom’s life.
JULIA STILLWELL
(stepping out)
The Seven, ladies and gentlemen!
How about ‘em!?
The thunderous clapping continues, as well as a universe of
iPhone flashbulbs. Starlight can’t help but steal glances at
the Homelander. The Deep leans over, whispers to her,
charming, disarming.
DEEP
(re: Homelander)
I know. It’s kinda like sharing a
stage with God, right? But you
wanna know something? He chews with
his mouth open. Spits little bits
of salad right at you.
TA
Starlight smiles at the Deep.
all this back down to earth.
Grateful to have someone bring

STARLIGHT
I just -- I mean -- I can’t believe
I’m really here.
DEEP
Hey. You’re here because you’re
meant to be here.
U
STARLIGHT
...thank you.
DEEP
(warm empathy)
Look, I remember my first day, it’s
a lot to take in. But we’ll show
you the ropes.
Starlight nods at him, grateful. Turns back to twinkling
flashbulbs and raw, uncut adoration. This is all of her
wildest, most secret dreams come true... off this...
EXT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - NIGHT
POV. From across the street. We see Hughie, through the
window, downcast as he upsells some equipment.
REVEAL -- we’re in a boat of a Cadillac. Behind the wheel --
A black-trench-coated MAN. This is BILLY BUTCHER (40).

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 20.
CONTINUED:
Enigmatic, he reaches into his GLOVE COMPARTMENT. Tugs out a
CIGAR BOX. Opens it, revealing --
A PILE of FAKE IDENTIFICATION CARDS. All with his picture.
NYPD, FDNY, NSA, DEA, ATF, DHS, some foreign CARDS. He
shuffles through them, before choosing an FBI ID. Perfect.
Goes without saying -- who the HOLY FUCK is Butcher?
INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - NIGHT
A TELEVISION SCREEN. ACCESS HOLLYWOOD. Some b-roll footage
of Starlight, waving shy to the crowd at the Vought
stockholder meeting.
NATALIE MORALES (V.O.)
...and how does newest Seven member
Starlight keep her beach-ready bod?
The answer might surprise you...
Hughie. Before a CUSTOMER. He doesn’t notice the TV --
HUGHIE
TA
...no, you want the carbon cables.
Cost more, but they conduct
electricity way better --
When the BELL over the door RINGS. Hughie jerks his head up,
illogically hoping against hope that Robin walks through the
door. Of course, she doesn’t. Instead, he spots --
Butcher. Strolling in. He inspects a section of NANNY-CAMS.
Hughie steps up --
HUGHIE
U
You interested in a nanny cam?
We’re running a special on Vimtag...
Butcher looks up. He’s got a blue collar BRITISH ACCENT. A
lot like Michael Caine.
BUTCHER
Tell me. How many nannies go around
shakin’ their babies, d’you reckon?
HUGHIE
Sorry?
BUTCHER
A good, hard shake. Like trynna get
ketchup out of a bottle. 1 percent?
Less?
HUGHIE
Uh, I -- I really don’t know.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 21.
CONTINUED:
BUTCHER
But they sell a coupla billion
dollars worth of this shit
worldwide.
(smirks at Hughie)
Goes to show. The bollocks you can
make people swallow, if you get ‘em
scared enough.
HUGHIE
(long beat)
Okay. Is there anything I can help
you with?
BUTCHER
I’m not gonna piss you about,
Hughie. I know what happened to
Robin. Fuckin’ diabolical.
HUGHIE
I’m sorry, who are you?
BUTCHER
She wasn’t in the street. She was
TA
one step off the fuckin’ curb. And
you didn’t take the pay-off.
Respect that.
HUGHIE
(upset now)
I said who the hell are you? How do
you know that?
BUTCHER
Butcher’s the name. People call me
U
Billy. I was thinkin’ we could have
a bit of a chat?

Genres: Superhero, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Dramatic

Summary The Seven introduce Starlight, their newest member, amidst fanfare. Meanwhile, Hughie encounters Butcher, a mysterious man who exposes his knowledge of Robin's death and The Seven's involvement, hinting at potential conflicts to come.

Strengths

Strong character development
High emotional impact
Intriguing plot setup

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly exposition-heavy

General Critique

The scene transitions smoothly from the introduction of the Seven to Starlight's nervous anticipation of her moment on stage, capturing the excitement and glamour of the superhero world.
The dialogue between Starlight and the Deep adds depth to their characters and provides insight into the dynamics within the Seven.
The introduction of Billy Butcher at the end of the scene adds a mysterious and intriguing element, setting up a potential conflict with Hughie and adding a new layer to the storyline.
The visuals of the scene effectively convey the grandeur of the Seven Tower auditorium and the overwhelming experience for Starlight as she steps into the spotlight.
The scene effectively sets up future conflicts and character interactions, building anticipation for what's to come in the story.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal conflict for Starlight as she grapples with the pressure of joining the Seven and staying true to herself.
Explore deeper interactions between Starlight and the other members of the Seven to establish their relationships and dynamics more clearly.
Enhance the tension between Hughie and Butcher by foreshadowing their conflict earlier in the script to build anticipation for their eventual confrontation.
Introduce subtle hints or clues about Butcher's true intentions to create intrigue and suspense for the audience.
Continue to balance the emotional moments with the action and intrigue to keep the audience engaged and invested in the characters and their journeys.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT
OPEN ON: the FBI CARD. Hughie inspects it --
Hughie. Butcher. Pass more and more pedestrians, as they
near the neon atomic blast of Times Square...
HUGHIE
You’re a Fed? You don’t sound like
a Fed.
BUTCHER
I can’t fuckin’ immigrate? There’s
a big green crumpet out in the
harbor that says different.
HUGHIE
You don’t look like one, either.
BUTCHER
Oh? What do I look like?
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 22.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE
Like a Columbine shooter.
Butcher smirks. Hughie’s got spark. He nods at the ID,
which we know is fake --
BUTCHER
Well, it’s right there in black an’
white. But if you wanna give a
looksie up me bum to be sure, you go
right ahead.
HUGHIE
Um. So what, exactly, can I do for
you?
BUTCHER
It’s what I can do for you, my son.
Help you get payback for yer girl.
(off Hughie)
You ain’t alone, Hughie, happens a
lot more than you think. Supes lose
over a hundred people a year to
collateral damage --
TA HUGHIE
That can’t be true.
(off Butcher)
That’s true?
BUTCHER
It’s not that they ain’t strong,
it’s that they don’t care. We’re
just ants to them.
U
HUGHIE
C’mon. It’d be all over the news,
people’d be screaming bloody murder.
BUTCHER
Might be the odd mention now an’
again, like with Robin. But there’s
a lot more they don’t tell you --
that gets swept under the rug --
HUGHIE
Why?
BUTCHER
It ain’t obvious?
He holds his hand out.
WIDE SHOT. TIMES SQUARE. 50 foot high SCREENS: a shirtless,
Wahlberg-esque HERO reclines in his Calvin Klein tighty-
whiteys. A-Train in a NIKE SHOE spot. A MOVIE: “Tek-Knight
Begins.” The VOUGHT STORE. Tourists take their photos with
cardboard hero cut-outs. Superheroes are inescapable --
pretty much like the actual Times Square.
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 23.
CONTINUED: (2)
BUTCHER
The movie tickets, an’ the
lobbyists, an’ the fuckin’ shoes.
But mostly, people like that cozy
feeling Supes give ‘em. You got
someone to swoop in and save the day
for you, then you don’t gotta do it
yourself.
(then)
But you don’t know half the shit
they’re up to. It’d curl your hair
and straighten your curlies. But
that’s where I come in.
HUGHIE
Come in... to do what?
BUTCHER
Spank the bastards, they ever step
too far outta line.
HUGHIE
How do you spank a Supe?
TA BUTCHER
Ways an’ means. You don’t need a
fuckin’ glowy green rock to find
someone’s weakness. C’mon.
HUGHIE
Where?
BUTCHER
You’ll love it.
U
HUGHIE
Hold on.
(Butcher stops)
Thank you for an extremely... weird
conversation. But I’m not sure what
this is... and I think I should
probably get back.
BUTCHER
Mate. Once I go, I’m gone. This is
your one an’ only. Besides, what’ve
you got to lose, you ain’t already
lost?
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Thinking. Off this --
We PAN OFF Hughie and Butcher, to the GLEAMING SEVEN TOWER --
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - NIGHT
Starlight. Taking in the PANORAMIC VIEW from the SEVEN
BOARDROOM. 99th floor. Floor to ceiling windows. City
lights before her -- like her own private galaxy.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 24.
CONTINUED:
She pivots to the SEVEN’S FAMOUS CONFERENCE TABLE. Runs her
hand over HOMELANDER’S CHAIR. Tastefully embossed with his
name. Like touching the President’s chair.
Then... she sees... a CHAIR WITH HER NAME ON IT. Her eyes
glisten with emotion.
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - HALLWAY - NIGHT - LATER
CLOSE ON A SMALL FISHBOWL. With an exotic fish inside -- an
electric blue ram cichlid, to be exact.
WIDER. Starlight carries the fishbowl down the sleek
hallway. Reaches a DOOR. RINGS the bell.
No answer. She KNOCKS. The door drifts open. Unlocked.
STARLIGHT
Hello? Deep?

Genres: Action, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Dark, Intense, Suspenseful, Emotional

Summary Hughie and Butcher discuss Butcher's vigilante group and Hughie's opportunity to join. Starlight struggles with her emotions and the absence of Deep in his room.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Intriguing conflicts
Sharp dialogue

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be too exposition-heavy

General Critique

The scene starts off with an intriguing conversation between Hughie and Butcher in Times Square, setting the tone for a mysterious and potentially dangerous partnership.
The dialogue between Hughie and Butcher is engaging and reveals important information about the world of superheroes, their impact on society, and Butcher's motives.
The visual description of Times Square and the larger-than-life presence of superheroes on the screens effectively conveys the overwhelming influence of Supes in the world.
The transition from the conversation in Times Square to Starlight in the Seven Tower is a bit abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the narrative.
Starlight's emotional reaction to seeing a chair with her name on it in the Seven Tower boardroom adds depth to her character and hints at her internal struggles and aspirations.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition between the Times Square conversation and Starlight's scene to maintain the narrative flow.
Explore ways to further develop the connection between Hughie and Butcher, building up the tension and intrigue surrounding their potential partnership.
Continue to use visual cues and descriptions to enhance the world-building and convey the larger-than-life presence of superheroes in the story.
Consider delving deeper into Starlight's emotional journey and internal conflicts as she navigates the glamorous yet challenging world of the Seven.
Ensure that each scene serves a clear purpose in advancing the plot and developing the characters, maintaining a balance between exposition and action.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - DEEP’S ROOM - NIGHT
Starlight steps in, tentative. Deep’s apartment is MASSIVE.
TA
All blonde wood and trickling waterfalls and koi ponds and
Chinese writing. Not just aquatic -- Zen aquatic.
STARLIGHT
Just wanted to thank you for being
so ki...
She feels awkward. Certainly doesn’t want to trespass.
She’s about to turn and leave when...
She hears an unmistakable GROANING. Sickly. Sounds like
someone might be ill? Or in trouble?
U
STARLIGHT
Hello?
She cautiously moves to the sound source. Then steps around
a thick tangle of bamboo trees to see --
THE DEEP. Bites a RUBBER TUBE wrapped tight around his arm.
As he SHOOTS a syringe of BRIGHT BLUE LIQUID into his vein.
What the hell is that stuff?
A PRETTY GIRL in a PARTY DRESS sprawls next to him. Her eyes
flutter, nearly unconscious. A SYRINGE JUTS from her arm.
Deep makes eye contact with Starlight. Who’s horrified --
DEEP
What the FUCK?
STARLIGHT
Oh my God, sorry, I’m sorry --

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 25.
CONTINUED:
Deep stands. He’s furious. Aggressive. And completely
different than the charming hero Starlight met.
DEEP
You just walk in??
STARLIGHT
(sputtering)
I knocked... your door was... I was
just bringing you...
She lamely holds out the fishbowl.
DEEP
Turn around. Forget this ever
happened.
But Starlight notices the girl. A thick gob of spittle at
the side of her mouth.
STARLIGHT
Is she... okay?
TA
That sends Deep over the edge. SUDDENLY, with SUPER
STRENGTH, he SHOVES Starlight against the wall!
She drops the FISHBOWL. CRASH!
Scary, Deep clamps his hand around Starlight’s neck. His
forehead veins are popping, he’s so pissed. (It’s a roid-
like reaction to the mysterious blue drug).
DEEP
Who the HELL asked you??!!
U
STARLIGHT
(small, scared)
...I think she needs help...
DEEP
Oh, you’re the fucking hero?
Please. You’re here cause we needed
a few more points with Evangelicals.
There’s a dozen blonde cunts that
fit the bill. You’re nobody.
(then)
You breathe a word of this to
anyone? You’re out. For good. The
fuck back to Iowa. We clear?
CLOSE ON STARLIGHT. Just staring at the dying exotic fish,
FLOPPING ABOUT on the floor. Does she fight back? Make a
stand? A long beat...
No. She doesn’t. She does what she needs to do.
STARLIGHT
Of course. I won’t tell anybody.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 26.
CONTINUED: (2)
A long beat. Frenzied face to frightened face. Until --
He lets her go. She beats a HASTY RETREAT --
EXT. THE SEVEN TOWER - HALLWAY
She scrambles out the door. Then stops. Presses her back
against the wall, out of breath.
It takes every fiber of her being not to cry...
EXT. ALLEY - OLD MONEY BUILDING - NIGHT
Back alley. A SERVICE ENTRANCE behind a tall, ornate, old-
money downtown building.
Butcher strides to the door, Hughie in tow. KNOCKS on it.
Beat. A NERVOUS SECURITY GUARD answers (dark coat, tie,
BADGE). Hughie watches this exchange, curious.
SECURITY GUARD
Fuck, man.
TA BUTCHER
This is the last time, Harry.
SECURITY GUARD
It’s always the last time. This is
fucking police brutality.
(nods inside)
You know what these people’ll do to
me, they catch me letting you in?
BUTCHER
(cool, even)
U
Not even half of what I’ll do, if
you don’t.
Butcher smiles but never breaks eye contact. It’s
unsettling. Message received.
The Security Guard hands over two SECURITY BADGES. Butcher
gives one to Hughie.
HUGHIE
Did he just say you’re a cop?
BUTCHER
Cop, Fed, it’s all the same to that
cunt. Here, put this on.
HUGHIE
What the hell is this?
But Butcher just strides inside. Uneasy, and now a bit
suspicious, Hughie follows --
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 27.

INT. OLD MONEY BUILDING - PRIVATE CLUB - NIGHT
DING! CLOSE ON HUGHIE as the ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS. His jaw
hits the floor. As he takes in --
A PRIVATE CLUB. Dark. Thumping music. Lots of SIDE ROOMS
and various nooks and crannies.
AND SUPERHEROES. Male and female. All shapes and sizes and
colors. PARTYING THEIR COSTUMED ASSES OFF. The female
heroes are having as much rambunctious fun as the men. It’s
like Studio 54 -- multiplied by 54.
One FEMALE HERO with a tiara tightens her FLUORESCENT ROPE,
S&M style, around a HOG-TIED NAKED MAN. He happily begs to
be spanked, she happily obliges.
Two HEROES TELEKINETICALLY HURL a CHAIR over a ducking
WAITER, SMASHING it through the window, as if they were
Whitesnake on the Sunset Strip.
Hughie and Butcher step over a burly STEEL-SKINNED SUPERHERO,
passed out on the floor in a pool of his own sick. WAITERS
try to drag him away, but he’s far too heavy.
TA
Hughie is absolutely gobsmacked. Then spots --
HUGHIE
Hey, that’s Captain Fantastic. The
‘Capes for Christ’ guy. Holds those
anti-gay rallies.
POV. The stretchy Superhero we saw on TV in the opener is in
ecstasy, wrapped around THREE MEN in G-STRINGS.
U
BUTCHER
And now he’s the meat in the
Manwich. Fuckin’ hypocrite. Like
Bill Cosby in spandex.
They pass a HERO, his hair a SHIMMERING WAVE of FIRE, quietly
and desperately crying to himself. Who knows why.
HUGHIE
Okay. So this is more than I ever,
ever wanted to see. I’m leaving now
before one of them tries to have sex
with me. Or kill me. Or both.
BUTCHER
Not yet.
Off Hughie -- he follows Butcher into a back room --

Genres: Superhero, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Dark, Intense, Emotional

Summary Starlight discovers Deep's drug use and an unconscious woman, leading to a confrontation and a threat to keep the incident a secret.

Strengths

Complex characters
Emotional depth
High stakes
Tense dialogue

Weaknesses

Potentially triggering content
Violent scenes

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose, as it starts with Starlight entering Deep's room but then shifts focus to Deep's drug use and the confrontation between Starlight and Deep.
The transition between Starlight entering the room and discovering Deep's drug use feels abrupt and disjointed, leaving the audience confused about the sequence of events.
The dialogue between Starlight and Deep feels forced and lacks depth, failing to fully explore the tension and conflict between the characters.
The scene fails to effectively convey the emotional impact of Starlight witnessing Deep's drug use and the subsequent confrontation, missing an opportunity to delve into the complexities of their relationship.
The resolution of the scene, where Starlight agrees to keep the incident a secret, feels rushed and unsatisfying, leaving the audience with unresolved questions and a lack of closure.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to provide a clearer narrative arc and focus on the central conflict between Starlight and Deep.
Develop the dialogue between Starlight and Deep to add depth and complexity to their interaction, exploring their conflicting emotions and motivations.
Enhance the emotional impact of the scene by delving deeper into Starlight's reaction to discovering Deep's drug use and the subsequent confrontation.
Provide a more satisfying resolution to the scene by allowing for a meaningful exchange between Starlight and Deep, addressing the consequences of their encounter and the implications for their relationship.
Consider incorporating more visual cues and sensory details to create a vivid and immersive atmosphere in Deep's room, enhancing the overall impact of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. SECURITY ROOM - NIGHT
The anxious Security Guard checks the coast is clear. Then
lets Butcher and Hughie into the SECURITY ROOM. A wall full
of monitors recording every room.
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 28.
CONTINUED:
SECURITY GUARD
Hurry up.
BUTCHER
Where’s the vid you rang me about?
The Security Guard reluctantly hands Butcher a MEMORY STICK.
Butcher plugs it into a COMPUTER.
BUTCHER
Oi. Hughie. Monitor 2.
Butcher fiddles a knob. Turning up the AUDIO.
THE MONITOR. Time-stamped security cam footage of a BACK
ROOM. A-TRAIN. Throws back shots like it’s his job.
HUGHIE
A-Train’s -- here?
BUTCHER
Was. This is from last night.
TA
THE MONITOR. Suddenly, A-Train looks O.S., as --
BIG GAME (O.S.)
A-Train. Your girlfriend’s here.
She’s pissed.
A HERO -- BIG GAME -- enters. He carries two MANNEQUIN ARMS.
BIG GAME
She wants to know why you ran
through her the other night. I
mean, she just went to pieces.
U
HUGHIE. His jaw clenches. Butcher looks at him,
sympathetic. Knows how hard this is for him.
A-TRAIN
Hey, I’m not the one that threw a
Volvo at that carjacker, without
realizing there was a fucking kid
strapped inside.
BIG GAME
Screw you, man, that sucked.
(sucks back a shot)
I had to go fucking cry on Diane
Sawyer.
Pointed, because A-Train just did the same --
A-TRAIN
Boy, can’t imagine what that’s like,
asshole.
Big Game sticks the mannequin arms into A-Train’s crotch.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 29.
CONTINUED: (2)
BIG GAME
Aw, look, she wants to make up.
A-TRAIN
Sorry, baby, but when I get inside a
girl, I get inside a girl.
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Quietly enraged --
HUGHIE
...they’re laughing. Like she’s a
joke. They’re fucking laughing.
BUTCHER
Question is, what are you gonna do
about it?
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - OUTSIDE BOARDROOM - NIGHT
Vought Vice-President Julia Stillwell skims down the Tower’s
hallway with the Vought Lawyer -- same guy from before -- he
hurries to keep up. He’s nervous -- she is miles above his
paygrade. But she never loses her corporate geniality.
TA
I’m sorry.
JULIA STILLWELL
It’s Doug?
DOUG FRIEDMAN
Yes. Doug. Friedman. Ma’am.
JULIA STILLWELL
Doug, I appreciate you trying to low-
ball this Hugh Campbell, but can we
settle out the A-Train thing? I
mean, 25 thousand? I got a bigger
U
shoe budget.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
I’m not sure it’s about the money
with this guy.
JULIA STILLWELL
If you quit nickel and diming him?
It’ll be about the money. Just get
it off our plate, please.
Without breaking stride, Julia glides into the boardroom --
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - NIGHT
Where she grins at the MAYOR of BALTIMORE (50), sitting at
the table. He nods to a GLOSSY PIC of the HOMELANDER.
Autographed “To Mason: Reach for the Sky! Best, Homelander.”
MAYOR
Thanks for this. My kid’s gonna
lose his mind.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 30.
CONTINUED:
JULIA STILLWELL
Our pleasure, Mr. Mayor. Just don’t
sell it on-line.
MAYOR
Alright. Tell me what you’re
thinking.
JULIA STILLWELL
(into her presentation)
Steve, look. Baltimore’s a
beautiful town. Those crab cakes at
Faidley’s? Change your life. But
you’ve got a problem. Homicide
rates are up, what, 62%? Your
police aren’t closing cases, you’re
on the verge of needing a federal
life-line.
MAYOR
You don’t need to salt my wounds.
JULIA STILLWELL
No disrespect. But you know police
TA
tanks rolling down main street won’t
play on the 6 o’clock news. How’d
it work out for Ferguson? Or Baton
Rouge?
MAYOR
Cut to the chase, Julia. Who are
you proposing?
She clicks a remote. On the flat-screen, PHOTOS of a
handsome, Will Smith-like BLACK SUPERHERO appear.
U
JULIA STILLWELL
Nubian Prince. Fits your
population’s demo, but not too
militant -- Caucasians love him too,
approval’s around 68 percent. We’re
offering a 3 year exclusive
contract. Plus our full PR support.
And we’ll throw in 9 and a half
points of the merchandising.
MAYOR
I thought he was in Detroit.
JULIA STILLWELL
We’re thinking about making a move.
We’ve come to you first.
MAYOR
How much?

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 31.
CONTINUED: (2)
JULIA STILLWELL
300 million a year. I know it’s a
tough swallow, but we both know your
city needs a hero.
MAYOR
(beat, contemplates)
Look. I have the City Council up my
ass on every fucking dime of the
budget. You make it 200 million, I
can sell it.
JULIA STILLWELL
I’m sorry. Can’t do it. We have
Atlanta waiting in the wings.
MAYOR
(beat)
I think maybe you can.
JULIA STILLWELL
Oh? And why’s that?
MAYOR
TA (leans forward)
Because I happen to know about
Compound V.
Stillwell betrays only the merest twitch.
JULIA STILLWELL
I’m sorry. What’s ‘Compound V?’
MAYOR
The kinda rumor that can really
U
tarnish those heroes of yours. And
no one wants that -- people need
heroes. Now. I can make sure it
stays a rumor. You know I’m a
friend. But friendship cuts both
ways.
What is he talking about? We’re not sure. But Stillwell
only gives him the most pleasant of smiles.
JULIA STILLWELL
Sorry, Steve, I just don’t know what
you’re talking about. 300 million’s
the price. Or we go to Atlanta.
Off Stillwell. She might not be a superhero, but she sure
knows how to wear a mask...

Genres: Action, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Dark, Intense, Suspenseful

Summary Hughie and Butcher are enraged by the security footage showing A-Train and Big Game mocking Robin's injuries. Meanwhile, Julia Stillwell negotiates with the Mayor of Baltimore, offering the new superhero Nubian Prince in exchange for dropping the Compound V investigation. Despite the deal, the threat of Vought's secret program being exposed remains.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Reveals crucial information
Sharp dialogue

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be too exposition-heavy

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from Butcher and Hughie entering the security room to a flashback of A-Train's disrespectful behavior towards Hughie's girlfriend, Robin. This transition could be smoother to maintain the flow of the story.
The dialogue between A-Train and Big Game feels forced and lacks subtlety. The insults and banter come across as cliched and do not add depth to the characters or the scene.
The emotional impact of the scene, particularly Hughie's reaction to the footage, could be heightened with more nuanced and realistic reactions. Hughie's quiet rage could be portrayed in a more authentic and impactful way.
The introduction of Julia Stillwell and the Mayor of Baltimore in the boardroom scene feels disconnected from the previous events. The shift in focus from A-Train's behavior to a negotiation about a new superhero contract is jarring and disrupts the narrative flow.
The Mayor's mention of Compound V at the end of the scene introduces a new plot point without sufficient context or buildup, leaving the audience confused rather than intrigued.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to maintain a cohesive narrative flow and avoid abrupt transitions between different storylines.
Revise the dialogue between A-Train and Big Game to make it more natural and reflective of their characters' personalities.
Focus on enhancing the emotional impact of Hughie's reaction to the footage by delving deeper into his internal turmoil and conflict.
Integrate the introduction of Julia Stillwell and the Mayor more seamlessly into the scene by establishing a clearer connection to the preceding events.
Provide more context and buildup to the mention of Compound V to ensure that the audience is engaged and intrigued by the new plot development.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BATHROOM - NIGHT
A row of toilet stalls. And Starlight. At a sink. Stares at
herself in the mirror. Her mascara runs. She’s been crying.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 32.
CONTINUED:
She inspects the NECK BRUISING from where the Deep grabbed
her. It’s already turning an angry purple.
When... QUEEN MAEVE enters. Heads to the sink beside
Starlight to reapply some make-up from a small clutch.
Starlight sneaks glances at Queen Maeve. Humiliated to be
meeting her idol in such circumstances. Subtly tries to
cover her neck bruises with her hand.
When Queen Maeve pivots to Starlight. Long beat. Is Maeve
going to say something? But then --
Queen Maeve gently pulls Starlight’s hand away from her neck.
Inspects the bruising.
Then... Maeve reaches into her clutch, pulls out a bottle of
skin tone CONCEALER. Holds it up to Starlight’s neck. With
compassion --
QUEEN MAEVE
I think this is your color.
TA
Implying that Starlight should cover up the bruise. Maybe
even implying that Maeve’s been there herself.
Then -- Queen Maeve pivots for the door. Calls out, without
looking back.
QUEEN MAEVE
Translucent, you’re such a fucking
perv.
Queen Maeve exits. Beat. Then... Translucent the invisible
man MATERIALIZES, naked, spying on Starlight from the corner.
U
TRANSLUCENT
Uh. I’ll -- I’ll just go.
He walks sheepishly out.
Off Starlight, painfully learning the old adage -- never,
ever meet your heroes...
INT. DIVE BAR - NIGHT
The dive bar of your dreams. All dark wood and character.
Hughie sits at a private BOOTH, beer in front of him.
Butcher across, nursing a soda water (he never drinks).
Hughie. Digesting what he just saw. Quiet. PISSED.
HUGHIE
They’re -- all like that? All of
‘em? Even the Homelander?
Butcher skips the tiniest half beat. Voice goes the tiniest
bit flat. Something’s going on here, but we don’t dwell.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 33.
CONTINUED:
BUTCHER
Homelander’s the exception. Doesn’t
drink, smoke. Fuckin’ saint. But
the rest? Yeah, pretty much.
(then)
Here, have a shufti at this --
From a MANILA FOLDER, Butcher removes some densely printed
PAPERS, spreads them on the table.
HUGHIE
What are these?
BUTCHER
Police log, night of Robin’s death.
Couple bar fights, some cars got
nicked. Know what’s not in there?
No banks triggering any alarms. No
one charged with robbery at Central
Booking. A-Train stopped two bank
robbers, my arse. Someone’s
covering somethin’ up.
HUGHIE
TA
Covering up -- what?
We re-play FLASHES of Hughie, Robin and A-Train from the
opening... to illustrate Butcher’s case...
BUTCHER
Whatever A-Train was doing that
night. You said he looked scared.
But what’s he got to be scared of?
What did he mean, ‘he can’t stop?’
And what was in that bag? All
U
sounds bleedin’ dodgy to me.
(off Hughie)
So the big question is: where was he
runnin’?
HUGHIE
Or who was he running from?
Butcher regards Hughie. Impressed. Smart.
BUTCHER
Yeah. True. Good point.
(beat)
Figure that out, we’ll have the
fucker. Got a nose for this shit,
and I’m tellin’ you, I can smell it.
Hughie stares at the reports. Feels emboldened.
HUGHIE
Okay. How can I help?

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 34.
CONTINUED: (2)
BUTCHER
Ring Vought. Tell ‘em you’ll take
the money, sign the NDA. But only
if A-Train’s there in person when
you do.
HUGHIE
Wait, I don’t... why would I...?
BUTCHER
I dunno. Say you gotta shake his
hand. For closure. They’ll invite
you into the Seven Tower to meet
him. Past their security. And
then, my son, you are gonna stick a
bug in the place. We’ll have a
listen, really see what’s going on.
HUGHIE
So, sorry -- you want me to go into
the Seven tower? By myself? And
plant -- a bug? Like I’m fucking
James Bond?
TA BUTCHER
Hughie. Why do you think I came to
you in the first place? For the
good of me health?
Again, Hughie’s breathing grows shallow. He pales. Starting
to have another PTSD attack.
HUGHIE
You gotta come with me.
U
BUTCHER
No way they give me a pass.
HUGHIE
What if something goes wrong?
BUTCHER
It won’t.
HUGHIE
Oh. Okay. Really comforting. And
easy for you to say, as you sit out
here on your “arse.” I mean, you’re
FBI, if you’re fucking FBI, get a
warrant, why do you need me --
BUTCHER
(a bald lie, of course)
I got a warrant. But that place is
fire-walled and untappable and
locked up tighter than a nun’s
clunge. I couldn’t sneak in meself,
not in a million years. But you
can. Now calm down.
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 35.
CONTINUED: (3)
HUGHIE
Calm? You didn’t see A-Train,
covered in Robin’s -- and I’m
supposed to shake his hand and
smile? These people kill fucking
kids in fucking Volvos on, like, a
random Tuesday, what do you think
they’ll do to me if they catch me?
BUTCHER
We’ve never had a go at the Seven
before, not like this --
HUGHIE
I said NO!
BUTCHER
(beat)
You saw him on that video. You
heard what he said about her.
HUGHIE
(quieter, sadder)
I just -- I can’t. I’m just gonna
TA
fuck it up. You won’t have your bug
and I’ll be dead. I’m not like you.
Hughie stands. Exits.
Off Butcher. He doesn’t look upset. He smirks, confident,
sips from his club soda. As if he expected this --
EXT. BAR - NIGHT
Butcher. Emerging from the bar. Calmly strolling.
U
When -- far overhead -- A HERO SOARS through the night sky,
lit by city lights. Followed by ANOTHER. It’s that last one
who’s got Butcher’s attention. He’s pretty far away, but
eagle eyed viewers might recognize him as the HOMELANDER.
WE CREEP IN ON BUTCHER. Stops. Just staring up. Wearing
his own stoic mask. Until --
BUTCHER
I’m gonna fuckin’ have you. You
cunt.
WIDER. Butcher’s just another New Yorker. When... a BLACK
SUV cruises past.

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Superhero
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Dark, Emotional

Summary Starlight faces her vulnerability in a compassionate encounter with Queen Maeve, while Hughie and Butcher forge a risky plan to infiltrate the Seven Tower to gather evidence against A-Train.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Compelling conflict
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly exposition-heavy

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of purpose or direction, with multiple elements introduced but not fully explored or resolved.
The interaction between Starlight and Queen Maeve feels superficial and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to delve into their characters' dynamics.
The presence of Translucent spying on Starlight adds a creepy element but feels disconnected from the rest of the scene and doesn't contribute significantly to the overall narrative.
The conversation between Hughie and Butcher feels forced and lacks natural flow, making it difficult for the audience to fully engage with the characters and their motivations.
The transition between the bathroom scene and the dive bar scene is abrupt and disjointed, causing a jarring shift in tone and pacing.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on developing the emotional depth and complexity of the interactions between characters, particularly Starlight and Queen Maeve.
Integrate Translucent's presence in a more meaningful way that ties into the larger plot or character arcs.
Refine the dialogue between Hughie and Butcher to make it more organic and reflective of their personalities and motivations.
Smooth out the transition between scenes to maintain a cohesive narrative flow and keep the audience engaged.
Consider revisiting the scene to clarify the central conflict, character motivations, and thematic elements to enhance the overall impact and coherence of the screenplay.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. BLACK SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
The MAYOR of BALTIMORE. The one who mentioned ‘Compound V,’
whatever that is. He rides in the back. On his cell.
MAYOR
Ms. Stillwell. Wasn’t sure I’d hear
from you.
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 36.

INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - NIGHT - INTERCUT
Stillwell’s smile is tight. She doesn’t like to acquiesce.
JULIA STILLWELL
Alright, Steve. This fucking
chafes, but we can go down to 230
million for Nubian Prince.
MAYOR
I think that’s very reasonable,
Julia. Thank you.
JULIA STILLWELL
Well, like you said, friendship cuts
both ways.
MAYOR
Yes, it does. You have my word.
There are secrets and scandals between these lines. But we
don’t know what they are. Yet.
TA
Off the Mayor, seemingly winning the negotiation --
INT. HUGHIE’S FAMILY APARTMENT - QUEENS - NEXT DAY
ON THE TV. ELLEN. Eternally upbeat. She sits with a
VISIBLE (and clothed) TRANSLUCENT --
He rolls up his sleeve, lifts his bare arm. Which SHIMMERS
then seemingly DISAPPEARS.
TRANSLUCENT
...no, I don’t actually vanish, my
U
skin turns into this -- carbon meta-
material -- that bends light. Like
an invisibility cloak.
ELLEN
But just to be clear -- you have to
be completely naked, right?
The audience OOHS and AAHS --
Hughie. Sits on the couch. Numb, listless, defeated. Next
to his wheezing Father. His Mom sets a plate of pizza rolls
on the coffee table.
HUGHIE’S MOM
Here you go, honey. Pizza rolls
with ketchup.
Hughie picks one up. Hesitates. Somehow, eating one means
acquiescing to his sad suburban life. When --

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 37.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE’S DAD
(finally speaks)
30 years at that One Hour
Martinizing. Cost me a lung, and
what’d I get for it? And you wanna
take on Vought? It’s like trynna
take on a mountain. Take the money,
Hughie. We’re lucky to get it.
PUSH IN ON HUGHIE. Holding that pizza roll. Looking at his
Dad. Is he really gonna give up? Give in?
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY
Starlight -- dressed for the first time in CIVILIAN CLOTHES.
As her secret identity: mild-mannered Annie. She strolls
through the park, phone to her ear. INTERCUT WITH:

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Superhero
Tone: Tense, Emotional, Dark, Suspenseful

Summary The Mayor negotiates with Stillwell to lower Nubian Prince's cost, hinting at a hidden agreement. Hughie struggles with accepting Vought's payment while Starlight faces potential danger in Central Park. Translucent's invisibility demonstration highlights Vought's powers, while the black SUV foreshadows future events.

Strengths

Building tension
Revealing secrets
Exploring moral dilemmas

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly exposition-heavy

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear connection to the previous scenes and feels disjointed in terms of narrative flow.
The dialogue between the Mayor and Julia Stillwell is somewhat vague and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to fully understand the dynamics between the characters.
The transition from the negotiation scene to Hughie's family apartment is abrupt and doesn't provide a smooth transition for the audience.
The interaction between Ellen and Translucent feels out of place and doesn't contribute much to the overall plot or character development.
The emotional conflict within Hughie is not effectively portrayed, leaving the audience disconnected from his internal struggle.
The introduction of Starlight in civilian clothes in Central Park feels random and doesn't tie back to the main storyline or character arcs.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider revising the negotiation scene to add more tension and depth to the interaction between the Mayor and Julia Stillwell, providing hints of the secrets and scandals mentioned.
Improve the transition between scenes by establishing a clearer link between the negotiation and Hughie's family apartment, ensuring a smoother narrative flow.
Reevaluate the relevance of the Ellen and Translucent interaction, either by expanding on its significance or removing it to streamline the scene.
Enhance the portrayal of Hughie's emotional conflict by delving deeper into his internal struggle and decision-making process regarding Vought's settlement offer.
Integrate Starlight's civilian appearance in Central Park more seamlessly into the overall plot, connecting it to her character development or the main storyline.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
Starlight’s Mother makes a bedazzled PRESS SCRAPBOOK of all
her daughter’s recent newspaper clippings.
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
TA
...so. How amazing is it? What’s
the Homelander like?
ANNIE/STARLIGHT
I... he’s busy, I haven’t really met
him yet. Look, Mom, I gotta tell
you what happened...
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
Oh, I almost forgot. I was playing
Mahjong with Judy and Elaine, and
U
they were going on and on about how
wonderful Starlight is. Starlight
this and Starlight that. I know, I
know, I gotta protect your secret
identity, but I would love to see
the looks on their faces if I told
them it was you.
(beat)
Anyway, what were you gonna say?
ANNIE
(long beat)
Just that everything’s great. Just
how I dreamed. Mom, I gotta go.
WITH ANNIE. She hangs up. Sits on a park bench. Stares up
at -- the radiant SEVEN TOWER. This isn’t at all what she
thought it would be. Her dreams are dying on the vine.
HUGHIE (O.S.)
I’m sorry, but... are you okay?
HUGHIE. On a bench beside her.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 38.
CONTINUED:
Both of them, watching the Tower. For very different
reasons. She wipes a tear, embarrassed.
ANNIE
Yeah. I’m fine.
Hughie pulls a CLOTH HANDKERCHIEF out of his pocket.
Crosses to Annie. Holds it out.
She gives him an odd look. After what she’s been through,
she’s not ready to accept a kindness from a stranger.
ANNIE
No thanks.
HUGHIE
(self-conscious)
I know. Cloth handkerchief. I’m
not really 90 years old, it’s just
my Dad was in dry cleaning, he
insists I carry -- never mind.
Sorry to bother you.
Hughie pivots away. Annie looks after him -- the guy’s just
TA
trying to offer a little compassion in a cruel world.
ANNIE
No, wait. Actually, thank you,
I’d... appreciate it.
Hughie hands her the handkerchief. She dries her eyes.
ANNIE
Just having a bad day, that’s all.
U
HUGHIE
That makes two of us. Work thing or
life thing?
Beat. No one’s been willing or able to listen to Annie.
Now, finally, this stranger is.
ANNIE
Work thing. You?
HUGHIE
Life thing.
They sit in silence. Another long beat. Then --
ANNIE
You know how you -- you have this
image of yourself?
HUGHIE
Mine’s not so hot...

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 39.
CONTINUED: (2)
ANNIE
I’m sure that’s not true.
(then)
I always thought I was... strong,
you know? Like, made of steel. A
fighter.
(then)
But then there I was... I needed to
fight. Had to. But -- I didn’t.
Kept my eyes down, mouth shut, did
what it took to keep my job. Turns
out I’m not who I thought I was.
And I think -- I think I just wanna
go home.
Hughie gives her a long, serious look.
ANNIE
Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all
that on --
HUGHIE
No, it’s not that. It’s just, I can
relate, I’m -- long story.
TA (off Annie)
Listen. Do you like your job?
ANNIE
It’s the only thing I ever wanted.
HUGHIE
And it’s a good job? You don’t get
kids hooked on smokes or anything?
ANNIE
U
It’s a great job. I could help a
lot of people.
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. A flash of vulnerability. Thinking of his
fear of A-Train. Thinking of Robin.
HUGHIE
Thing is, I -- I knew this girl.
Who’d just -- charge headfirst into
everything. Me, I backed away from
everything, I was... I dunno...
scared of falling or failing. But
she’d say ‘just cause you fall on
your ass, doesn’t mean you gotta
stay there.’
(then)
So I guess I’d say the same to you.
Pardon my french, but fuck those
fuckers. Don’t give ‘em the
satisfaction. You can still be a
fighter -- just get up and fight.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 40.
CONTINUED: (3)
She gives Hughie a long, thoughtful look. Whoever this guy
is, he told her just what she needed to hear, just when she
needed to hear it.
ANNIE
Sounds like a smart girl. You
should take her advice, too.
Hughie glances at her. She’s right.
HUGHIE
I’m Hughie.
ANNIE
Annie.
Off their handshake -- off a respite of tenderness amidst our
usual madness...

Genres: Drama, Superhero
Tone: Emotional, Reflective, Compassionate

Summary In her suburban home, Starlight's Mother proudly displays a scrapbook filled with her daughter's accomplishments. Amidst the accolades, Annie/Starlight grapples with disillusionment and vulnerability. Seeking solace, she confides in Hughie in the serene park. Their heartfelt conversation delves into her struggles, leading to Hughie offering compassion and a fresh perspective. As they part ways, Annie and Hughie introduce themselves, finding a spark of connection and understanding amidst their shared experiences.

Strengths

Authentic character development
Emotional depth
Realistic dialogue

Weaknesses

Limited impact on main plot progression
Low external conflict

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose, as it meanders without a strong central conflict or resolution.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural at times, with characters delivering exposition rather than engaging in meaningful conversation.
The emotional beats and character development feel rushed and underdeveloped, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
The transition between Starlight's emotional turmoil in the previous scene and her interaction with Hughie in this scene is abrupt and lacks a smooth transition.
The scene could benefit from more visual cues and descriptive language to create a more immersive and engaging atmosphere.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on establishing a clear central conflict or goal for the scene to drive the character interactions and dialogue.
Work on developing more natural and authentic dialogue that reveals character motivations and emotions in a subtle and nuanced way.
Take the time to explore the emotional journey of the characters, allowing for moments of vulnerability and growth to shine through.
Consider refining the transition between scenes to create a more seamless flow of emotions and character arcs.
Enhance the visual elements of the scene to create a more vivid and immersive setting that complements the emotional depth of the characters.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. DIVE BAR - DAY
BUTCHER. Sits at the bar. Stares into his soda. When --
TA
A BEAUTIFUL REDHEAD, 30, approaches him.
booth-full of friends.
REDHEAD
Egged on by her

Hi. Hello. So I’m sure this is a
terrible idea, but my friends have
dared me -- to buy you a drink.
BUTCHER
You’re right.
(then)
It is a terrible idea.
U
REDHEAD
(ouch)
Oh, uh, okay. Sorry.
Crash and burn. She goes. Who is this guy?
When Hughie ENTERS. Passing the Redhead. To Butcher --
HUGHIE
Hey. Hoping I’d find you here.
Butcher smiles to himself. It was only a matter of time
before Hughie showed up.
BUTCHER
Boy, this is a shocker. Not
expectin’ to see you again.
HUGHIE
Okay. Let’s get A-Train.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 41.
CONTINUED:
BUTCHER
(feigns reluctance)
I dunno, mate. How do I know you
ain’t gonna leg it like last night?
How do I know you got the bottle?
HUGHIE
I’ve got the -- I don’t know what
‘bottle’ means in that context, but
I’m in, man, I wanna do this.
BUTCHER
You gonna see this through? To the
end?
HUGHIE
Yes.
BUTCHER
Right, then.
INT. DIVE BAR - BY THE BATHROOM - LATER
Hughie, on his cell. Butcher, listening.
TA HUGHIE
...Mr. Friedman, got your message,
and wow, 75k is -- life changing.
I’ll sign whatever you want. I just
-- I need one more thing. An
apology from A-Train.
DOUG FRIEDMAN (ON PHONE)
He already apologized.
U
HUGHIE
No. He gave his regrets. And his
sympathy. On TV. But I want him to
look me in the eye and say he’s
sorry.
DOUG FRIEDMAN (ON PHONE)
Okay, I’ll ask. But I’m telling
you, Hugh, the answer’s gonna be no.
Click. Hughie hangs up. To Butcher --
HUGHIE
Don’t think they’re going for it.
BUTCHER
Oh yes, they will. And in the
Tower, too. They’re not gonna wanna
air this shit in public.
Off Butcher’s knowing smirk --
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 42.

INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - DAY
A-Train. With Julia Stillwell. Having a quiet side-bar in
the corner as the other members of the Seven enter the
BOARDROOM for their official meeting.
A-TRAIN
No. No way.
JULIA STILLWELL
We gotta put this behind us, it’s
five minutes out of your day.
A-TRAIN
So some dude can blubber all over
me? I’m -- not good in situations
like that. No.
Julia steps forward. Her genial smile never leaves her face.
JULIA STILLWELL
You know. The Blue Bolt shaved
another point off his mile. He’s
almost as fast as you. Impressive,
TA especially someone that young.
A-TRAIN
The hell is that supposed to mean?
JULIA STILLWELL
Look, I’m just trying to help. You
know I love you, but I’m only one
person in this company. You don’t
want the guys upstairs to start
bitching that you’re difficult.
U
Like they did with the Lamplighter.
Off A-Train...
INT. DIVE BAR - DAY
Butcher. Hughie. At the bar. Waiting. When -- RING!
Hughie’s cell. He answers.
HUGHIE
Hello? Yes, Mr. Friedman...?
He gives Butcher a look. They’re in. Butcher knew it.
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BATHROOM - DAY
Starlight. Back in uniform. Alone at the sink.
She stares at herself in the mirror. Suppressing her fear
and anger. Fuck ‘em. She won’t give ‘em the satisfaction.
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 43.

INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - DAY
Starlight enters. The Seven have gathered, a modern-day
Knights of the Oblong Conference Table. Homelander at the
head. Julia Stillwell observes in the corner.
HOMELANDER
(pure Costner)
Starlight. Don’t wanna be late for
your first official meeting. I had
a whole welcome speech planned.
STARLIGHT
Sorry, Sir.
HOMELANDER
Homelander is fine.
DEEP
We were beginning to wonder if you’d
even show up.
She glares at the Deep, defiant. She’s literally got a look
to kill and wants to use it. But she restrains herself.
TA (dry)
STARLIGHT
Oh, no, I’m excited to be here. I’m
on pins and needles.
The Deep. Glares at her, surprised. Didn’t expect this much
grit from Starlight.
As a floating pair of reading glasses in the next chair
peruses some paperwork --
U
TRANSLUCENT
...can we get back to this please,
this is a serious crime.
(then)
Copyright infringement of our
brands, individually and
collectively, is costing Vought 1.2
billion per year. That’s money out
of our pockets. We’ve all got,
what, four points each?
As they ramble on... Starlight. She acts calm, strong. But
she’s wearing a mask.
A-TRAIN
Fuck. You’ve got four points?
QUEEN MAEVE
And clearly, better lawyers.
HOMELANDER
Hey. C’mon. Stop.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 44.
CONTINUED:
Everyone shuts up. Turns to the Homelander. He commands
unwavering respect --
HOMELANDER
(pure Clooney)
What’s Starlight gonna think,
listening to us haggle over nickels?
We’re the Seven for God’s sake. Now
what I want to hear -- is who you
saved this week. Black Noir, let’s
start with you --
The guy really is an omnipotent Boy Scout. Off this --

Genres: Drama, Action, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Confrontational

Summary Butcher and Hughie team up to confront A-Train about killing Hughie's girlfriend. A-Train refuses to apologize, leading to a tense standoff between the two sides. Meanwhile, Starlight struggles to fit in with the other members of the Seven.

Strengths

Tension-building
Character development
Emotional depth
Power dynamics

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly dramatic or cliched

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scenes, making it feel disjointed from the rest of the script.
The dialogue between Butcher and the Redhead feels forced and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
The interaction between Hughie and Butcher is somewhat predictable and lacks nuance, missing an opportunity to delve deeper into their characters.
The dialogue between Hughie and Mr. Friedman on the phone feels repetitive and does not add much to the scene's development.
The scene lacks a strong emotional impact or tension, making it less engaging for the audience.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition from the previous scenes to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
Focus on developing more authentic and meaningful dialogue between the characters to enhance their relationships and make the scene more compelling.
Explore deeper emotional conflicts and character motivations to add depth and complexity to the scene.
Consider adding more suspense or tension to the scene to keep the audience engaged and interested in the characters' journey.
Work on creating a stronger sense of purpose and direction for the scene to ensure it contributes effectively to the overall story arc.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. THE SEVEN TOWER/INT. BUTCHER’S CAR - NIGHT
PAN DOWN off the SEVEN TOWER to reveal -- Butcher’s car. The
behemoth of a Caddy.
INSIDE THE CAR. Hughie, anxious as hell. Looks in the back
seat -- notices some STRAY DOG TOYS. Bright, cutesy, squeaky
rubber animals. Seems out of character for Butcher.
HUGHIE
TA
You have a dog?
BUTCHER
No.
Butcher doesn’t elaborate further. On Hughie -- umkay.
BUTCHER
Give us your phone.
Hughie complies. Butcher pops it out of its case. Then
U
pulls out a BUG. As wide and thin as a silver dollar.
BUTCHER
Security won’t find it, or the X-
ray.
Butcher hides the bug in Hughie’s phone case, clicks the
phone back in place OVER it --
BUTCHER
Now, what they’ll probably do is
take you to the boardroom. Give it
a minute, say you need a crap. Take
out the bug when you’re in the bog.
Glue’s there on one side, see? Go
back, stick it under the boardroom
table, that’s that.
Hughie’s heart is racing. Commencing another panic attack?
He starts spluttering --
HUGHIE
That’s that? Kinda seems like -- a
lot, actually. What if --
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 45.
CONTINUED:
BUTCHER
Hughie. Two choices. One: go an’
whine to a shrink for the rest of
your life, pop some Klonopin, maybe
punch an A-Train doll. Two: stop
bein’ such a cunt. What do you say?
Off Hughie. He swallows nervously -- a major effort -- and
climbs out of the car.
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - LOBBY - NIGHT
Hughie. GRIPPING his phone. We hear his THUMPING HEART. As
he enters the hypermodern lobby. Approaches Ashley the
publicist, surgically attached to her Blackberry.
HUGHIE
Hi -- are you Ashley? I’m Hughie
Campbell...?
Ashley smiles, thin. She’s used to working with Gods. Not
mere mortals.
ASHLEY
TA
Follow me, Mr. Campbell.
Ashley leads Hughie through the SECURITY CHECKPOINT. He
anxiously flits his eyes at --
POV’s. HEAVY FUCKING HARDWARE. SECURITY GUARDS with semi-
automatics. SURVEILLANCE CAMS mounted everywhere.
A stutter-step, as he drops his PHONE through the x-ray
machine. Hughie walks through the metal detector, eyes on
the X-RAY TECH. Who... shit, SQUINTS at the monitor...
U
X-RAY TECH
Sir, may I examine your phone?
HUGHIE
Uh -- sure.
Hughie’s about to have a heart attack. As the X-Ray Tech
carefully pores over the phone. Turns it around. Is he
gonna pop it from its case? Find the bug? This seems to
last FUCKING FOREVER. Hughie sweats bullets. Until --
X-RAY TECH
Have a “Super” day.
The Tech hands it over. Hughie collects his phone, follows
Ashley to the elevators.
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - NIGHT
Ashley opens the door to the boardroom.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 46.
CONTINUED:
ASHLEY
Wait here, please. A-Train will be
with you shortly.
She’s already off before Hughie can say thanks.
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - TWENTY MINUTES LATER
Hughie. Alone. Sitting at the table in the imposing,
cavernous room. Clenching his phone.
He stares at it, tries to will himself not to sweat. Is this
his moment? Should he go to the bathroom now? While no one
is here, no one is watching?
BEEP! The desk INTERCOM comes to life.
ASSISTANT ON PHONE
Won’t be long, Mr. Campbell.
HUGHIE
I need to -- go to the bathroom.
Hello?
TA
But the intercom has already clicked off.
Hughie. Takes a beat. Takes a breath. Grips his phone.
Steels himself. He can do this. This is it.
Stands up. Heads to the door. Reaches for the knob --
The door suddenly swings open! And A-TRAIN enters, followed
by Ashley, various HANDLERS, and Doug Friedman -- who begins
to lay out the documents on the table.
U
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Face-to-face with A-Train. Nose to nose.
Tete-a-tete. The source of all his misery. Anger. Anxiety.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
Just to be clear, A-Train’s apology
isn’t an admission of any sort of
culpability whatsoever, do you
understand?
Hughie manages a nod. The Lawyer gives A-Train the okay.
A-TRAIN
(a sullen 3rd grader)
Hey, man. I’m sorry what happened
to your girlfriend. Alright?
A-Train reaches out his hand to shake.
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Wide-angle, like in the bodega. Breathing
shallow. Heart pounding. Eyes wide. He’s about to plunge
into another PTSD attack! He glances down at his PHONE,
which he grips, white-knuckled.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 47.
CONTINUED:
The Lawyer and the Publicist trade concerned looks. A-Train
looks down at Hughie’s phone, too.
A-TRAIN
Buddy. You okay?
Hughie’s gonna blow it! A cringe-worthy beat. Another!
But then... he takes a deep breath. Pulls himself together.
Into the AMAZING SALESMAN HE IS.
Firmly shakes hands. Cool as shit.
HUGHIE
Fine. I appreciate the apology.
But accidents happen, right? And
after all, you were saving the
world.
ASHLEY
(sighs with relief)
Okay, thank you, Mr. Campbell. Now
if you’ll excuse us, a crime-
fighter’s work is never done, but
TA
Douglas here will stay behind, get
you those documents...
A-Train, Ashley, and the various handlers beat a hasty
retreat. Leaving Doug Friedman behind, who holds out a pen.
HUGHIE
Where’s your bathroom?
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BATHROOM - NIGHT
U
Hughie enters, heads into a stall.
INSIDE THE STALL. He sits on the toilet. Wrenches his phone
from its case. But if your case is anything like mine,
that’s never, ever easy. He tugs a bit too hard --
The phone CLACKS to the floor! Even worse, so does the BUG!
Which spins like a quarter before landing on the linoleum.
It’s still in the stall, but right beneath the door, in plain
view if anyone was looking for it --
Hughie. Shit. Which escalates into FUCK when --
The door opens and SOMEONE ENTERS. Hughie freezes. He can’t
tell who it is, he only spots boots. But we can see --
It’s STARLIGHT. She moves to the sink, stares in the mirror,
gets her game face back on. If she saw Hughie, she’d
recognize him!
But... she doesn’t see him, and he never sees her. She
exits. Hughie breathes a sigh of relief. Near miss. Snags
the bug and the phone.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 48.
CONTINUED:
He exits the stall. Exits the bathroom. But we hold a BEAT.
As TRANSLUCENT materializes in the bathroom corner. Naked.
He was just gonna perv out again, but instead, he saw the
whole damn thing. He frowns. What the hell? Off this --
EXT. THE SEVEN TOWER - NIGHT
Hughie exits the lobby. Flush with victory. Struts down the
street like fucking Travolta. Up to Butcher’s car.
Butcher gives him a curious look. Well? Hughie breaks into
a wide grin. Nods. He did it. He actually did it!

Genres: Action, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Anxious, Tense, Suspenseful, Relieved, Intense

Summary Hughie infiltrates The Seven Tower under Butcher's guidance to plant a listening device. Despite anxiety and close encounters, he succeeds in his mission and retrieves the device, although Translucent discovers the bug, setting up a potential conflict.

Strengths

Building tension
Effective use of suspense
Character development through actions

Weaknesses

Some predictable elements
Limited character interactions

General Critique

The scene effectively builds tension and suspense as Hughie infiltrates The Seven Tower to plant a bug, but there are some areas that could be improved for better storytelling.
The dialogue between Butcher and Hughie feels a bit forced and could be more natural to enhance the character dynamics and make the scene more engaging.
The interaction between Hughie and the X-Ray Tech could be more intense to heighten the stakes and create a sense of urgency.
The resolution of Hughie's panic attack and his interaction with A-Train could be more impactful to show the emotional weight of the situation.
The introduction of Starlight in the bathroom adds an element of suspense, but the execution could be more seamless to enhance the tension of the near miss.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider refining the dialogue between Butcher and Hughie to make it more authentic and reflective of their characters.
Enhance the interaction between Hughie and the X-Ray Tech to increase the suspense and create a more gripping moment.
Focus on the emotional impact of Hughie's confrontation with A-Train to highlight the significance of the apology and resolution of the conflict.
Work on the timing and execution of Starlight's entrance in the bathroom to maximize the tension and near miss moment.
Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional cues from Hughie to convey his inner turmoil and anxiety throughout the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL/INT. BUTCHER’S CAR - NIGHT
Butcher pulls up in front of Hughie’s Electronics Store.
Quiet night. No one inside but GARY, the owner.
INSIDE THE CAR. Hughie, still pumped with adrenaline.
HUGHIE
That was awesome. Staring that
TA
asshole down? I get why you dig
this job, man --
BUTCHER
Got its moments.
HUGHIE
But you’re right -- fuck A-Train,
fuck --
(finally noticing)
What’re we doing here?
U
BUTCHER
How d’you mean? You gotta go back
to work, yeah?
HUGHIE
I -- sorry?
BUTCHER
Hughie, you were brilliant. But
that’s all I needed you for.
HUGHIE
What? But -- I don’t -- I mean, I
can help you, let me help --
BUTCHER
You did help. I got it from here.
(a final)
Cheers.
Beat. Doesn’t seem like Butcher is budging.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 49.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE
Um. Right. Okay.
Hughie climbs out, tries to hide his disappointment. He
gives Butcher a ‘goodbye’ nod.
HUGHIE
Oh, hey, almost forgot -- ever see
an asshole tear up 75k?
Hughie takes out the VOUGHT CHECK. RIPS it.
BUTCHER
You’re a good lad, Hughie. Not all
that common in my line of work.
Off Hughie, nodding back -- but feels oddly dissatisfied.
INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - NIGHT - LATER
ON THE TV. MSNBC. CHRIS HAYES converses with a NATIONAL
SECURITY EXPERT. Forever droning talking heads.
TA CHRIS HAYES (ON TV)
...policing cities is a thorny
enough issue as it is, but allowing
Superheroes into national defense?
We’d be basically privatizing war...
EXPERT (ON TV)
Sooner or later, it’s inevitable...
IN THE STORE. Gary throws on his jacket.
GARY
U
Alright, g’night, Hughie. You’ll
lock up?
(off Hughie’s nod)
I’m still thinking about that raise,
you know.
HUGHIE
Yeah, okay, thanks, Gary.
Gary exits. Hughie. Behind the counter. Stares at the TV.
Returning to this shitty fucking job, after all that
intrigue, feels anti-climactic, both for Hughie and for us.
But then...
ANGLE. Hughie’s back to the door. So he doesn’t see it
OPEN. And CLOSE. By ITSELF. He only hears the bell JINGLE.
HUGHIE
(as he pivots)
Sorry. I’m closing up --
(room’s empty)
Hello?

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 50.
CONTINUED:
A ghostly, disembodied VOICE --
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Who are you?
HUGHIE
(twirling)
The fuck? Where --
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Right in front of you.
That silver dollar BUG floats in the air before Hughie.
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
You think I wouldn’t find this
thing?!
Hughie barely has time to register surprise, when -- WHACK!
His head SNAPS to the side from an INVISIBLE PUNCH. Blood
flings from the side of his mouth. Oh. Shit.
INT. BUTCHER’S CAR/EXT. BACK ALLEY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
TA
Butcher. Parked in some abandoned back alley. Has a LAPTOP
open on the passenger seat. Listening to the BUG. Which
means he’s listening to Hughie.
HUGHIE (O.S.)
Please! I don’t know what you’re
talking about!
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Don’t give me that, I followed you
from the Tower!
U
BUTCHER
Fuckin’ hell, Hughie, you got
yourself made.
CLOSE ON BUTCHER. Maybe there’s a wisp of regret fluttering
over his face. Then again, maybe not. Guy’s a mystery.
From the LAPTOP -- unmistakable sounds of CRASHING GLASS --
BUTCHER
Ah, well.
Butcher closes the laptop. Sound shuts off. Seemingly
washing his hands of the whole sordid business...
INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - NIGHT
WHAM! Hughie is SHOVED BACK into a wall of TV’s. Some CRASH
to the floor, LIVE WIRES SPARKING! As Hughie gets his ASS
KICKED by an invisible man.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 51.
CONTINUED:
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Who was that guy you were with?! In
the car?
With admirable bravery, Hughie doesn’t answer --
So he’s THROWN again. CRASH! OUCH!
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Who was he?? He put you up to this?
HUGHIE
I don’t know! He was just a fucking
Uber driver, okay?!
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Why’d you plant the bug??
HUGHIE
...please... please...
We can SEE -- HEAR -- the crunch of glass. As Translucent
stalks closer to Hughie. Closer.
TA TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Think you can just fuck with us?
We’re the Seven! Earth’s Most
Mighty! Champions of the Innocent!
This is it. Curtains for Hughie. Fat Lady steps up to the
mike, clears her throat, and --
SMASH!!
BUTCHER’S CAR CAREENS THROUGH THE STORE’S FRONT WINDOW!
U
SHATTERING THE GLASS. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HUGHIE!
KNOCKING TRANSLUCENT CLEAR ACROSS THE ROOM. We can tell,
from the CRUNCH of his body on the windshield, from the THUD
against a collapsing shelf of ELECTRONICS.
Butcher climbs out of the car. For some reason, he holds a
sparking CATTLE PROD (stay tuned for why).
BUTCHER
Hughie, run.
(Hughie hesitates)
Fuckin’ run!
Hughie scrambles for the back room of the store -- as Butcher
straightens up, pivots to Translucent --
BUTCHER
Let him be, you invisible cunt.
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Who are you?

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 52.
CONTINUED: (2)
BUTCHER
I’ll tell you who you are. A
fuckin’ joke, mate.
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
That so?
BUTCHER
Translucent doesn’t even mean
‘invisible,’ you silly twat. It
means ‘semi-transparent.’
Butcher LUNGES with the CATTLE PROD. But he misses -- not so
easy to fight an invisible man.
Translucent RIPS the CATTLE PROD out of Butcher’s HAND.
Hurls it out of reach. SHIT.
INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - BACK ROOM - CONTINUOUS
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Darting past boxes and equipment, about to
escape out the back. He opens the door --
TA
And STOPS. Who is he gonna be? Someone who backs down? Or
someone who fights?
When he sees, on a rack in front of him -- some CARBON
COMPONENT CABLES. He looks at them. Thinking.

Genres: Action, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Intense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Dark

Summary Hughie and Butcher visit Hughie's workplace, where Butcher dismisses him after using him to plant a bug. Hughie is attacked by the invisible superhero Translucent, but Butcher intervenes with his car, allowing Hughie to escape.

Strengths

Intense action
Suspenseful atmosphere
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some elements may be too dark or intense for all audiences

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scene, leaving the audience slightly disoriented as to the sudden change in location and focus.
The dialogue between Hughie and Butcher feels a bit forced and lacks depth, making their interaction less engaging for the audience.
The tension and suspense built up in the previous scenes are not effectively carried over into this scene, resulting in a lack of continuity in the overall narrative.
The introduction of Translucent and the sudden attack on Hughie feels rushed and lacks proper buildup, diminishing the impact of the confrontation.
The resolution with Butcher crashing his car through the store window to save Hughie feels contrived and lacks a sense of believability, detracting from the realism of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition from the previous scene to this one to maintain the flow of the narrative.
Work on developing more natural and meaningful dialogue between Hughie and Butcher to deepen their relationship and make their interactions more compelling.
Enhance the tension and suspense in the scene by building up the confrontation with Translucent more gradually, creating a more impactful and engaging moment.
Focus on creating a more organic and believable resolution to the conflict, ensuring that the actions taken by the characters align with their motivations and the established tone of the story.
Consider revising the scene to ensure that it aligns with the overall tone and pacing of the screenplay, maintaining consistency throughout the narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - CONTINUOUS
WHACK! Translucent punches Butcher across the jaw. Then --
WHACK! Another hit. Butcher only grins, his teeth red.
Then ingeniously SPITS BLOOD in Translucent’s FACE. We see
U
the spattered BLOOD FLOATING IN MID-AIR.
BUTCHER
There you are.
Butcher SWINGS -- CONNECTS! But then --
Translucent HITS BACK. Over and over. Harder and harder.
It doesn’t look good for Butcher. Until --
Suddenly, Hughie is THERE! He PULLS the FIRE ALARM!
WATER SPRAYS from OVERHEAD SPRINKLERS --
Revealing TRANSLUCENT. WATER SPLASHES over his BODY!
HUGHIE
The TV!
Butcher glances -- spots a SMASHED TV on the ground, throwing
sparks into a growing PUDDLE.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 53.
CONTINUED:
Butcher gets what Hughie’s saying -- he nods -- UNLOADS a
CRUSHING ROUNDHOUSE PUNCH on Translucent -- OOF -- sends the
bastard flailing back into the sparking WATER --
Which immediately ELECTROCUTES HIM! SPARKS CLIMACTICALLY
RIDE UP Translucent’s body. Before he DROPS.
Dust-settling beat.
The sprinklers stop. Nothing on the floor but a puddle with
the outline of an invisible body in it.
HUGHIE
(out of breath)
Is he dead?
Butcher gives a HARD KICK to Translucent. No noise out of
him, no movement --
BUTCHER
Well, he ain’t movin’.
HUGHIE
TA
Shit. Shit.
BUTCHER
How’d you know electricity
bollocksed the cunt? Took me
forever to work that one out.
HUGHIE
Skin’s carbon. Highly conductive.
Saw it on ‘Ellen.’
BUTCHER
U
Nice one, Hughie. Well, come on.
We gotta get him in the trunk.
HUGHIE
Wait -- we what?
BUTCHER
Think you just offed a member of the
Seven.
HUGHIE
Me? You hit him!
BUTCHER
Semantics, my son, we’re both in a
fucksight a’ trouble.
Already, they can hear SIRENS in the distance --
HUGHIE
No, he attacked us! And you’re --
you’re a federal officer! Call the
fucking FBI!

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 54.
CONTINUED: (2)
BUTCHER
Yeah. I ain’t really a fed.
Off Hughie -- FUCKING WHAT?
EXT. THE SEVEN TOWER - ROOFTOP - NIGHT
STARLIGHT. On the ROOF of the Seven Tower -- taking in the
infinite constellation of the city below.
PUSH IN ON HER. Her anger, her frustration, boiling and
churning inside. Rising up.
Her eyes begin to glow. Then FLARE.
WIDE. The tower’s top floors -- really, all nearby lights --
FLICKER and BLACK OUT dramatically. Around Starlight. As
she draws energy from them. As her eyes BLAZE like FIRE.
The other Supes might not see the defiant spark inside her.
Not yet. But we sure do.
EXT. SKY - NIGHT
TA
A PRIVATE JET SOARS.
INT. PRIVATE JET/EXT. SKY - NIGHT
A PICTURE. The Homelander. “To Mason: Reach for the Sky!
Best, Homelander.” We’ve seen this photo before.
The Mayor of Baltimore’s son MASON, 10. Draws at a desk in
bit lip concentration, tries to replicate his beloved
Homelander photo with a crayola-on-paper version.
U
His Dad (the Mayor) dozes in a leather chair. Various AIDES
work or sleep.
When -- Mason happens to glance out the window. He
brightens. His wildest dreams coming true --
POV. ON THE WING. THE HOMELANDER. Proud. Hands on hips.
Cape swirling, Zack Snyder-style. He smiles at Mason.
MASON
Homelander! Dad, wake up! The
Homelander’s here!
The Mayor rouses -- what? He heads over to the window, along
with the aides. They all grin -- major celeb sighting.
MAYOR
Look at that. What’s he doing here?
MASON
Did he come to say goodbye? Are you
guys friends??

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 55.
CONTINUED:
POV. ON THE WING. The Homelander. Without ever losing his
smile, he looks down to the ENGINE --
And FIRES BLINDING RED BEAMS from his eyes! Flaring camera!
Right at the turbine -- SLICING IT RIGHT OFF --
MAYOR
OH MY GOD!
Guess the Mayor lost the negotiation, after all. THE PLANE
JOLTS. GOING DOWN.
Mason. Open-mouthed in shock and fear. Painfully learning
the old adage -- never, ever meet your heroes.
Homelander, still genially smiling, gives them a friendly
salute. Before FLYING OFF --
STAY WITH THE HOMELANDER. Watching, blank-faced. As the JET
NOSE DIVES. Plummets down to the Atlantic.
Turns out, Homelander wears a mask, too. And what’s behind
it is psychopathic, unhinged. And all-powerful. Off this --
TA BLACKOUT!

TO BE CONTINUED...
U

Genres: Action, Superhero, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Intense, Suspenseful, Dark, Emotional

Summary Inside Bryman Audio Visual, Butcher and Translucent continue to fight until Butcher gains the upper hand and electrocutes Translucent. Hughie helps Butcher subdue Translucent by pulling the fire alarm and revealing his weakness. On the rooftop of the Seven Tower, Starlight harnesses her powers, while Homelander causes a plane crash.

Strengths

Intense action
Emotional depth
High stakes
Revelation of character identities

Weaknesses

Potential confusion with the introduction of new characters and powers

General Critique

The scene starts with a physical confrontation between Butcher and Translucent, which is intense and action-packed. However, the fight scenes could benefit from more detailed descriptions of the characters' movements and the environment to enhance the visual impact.
The use of blood and violence adds to the gritty tone of the scene, but it's important to ensure that these elements serve a purpose in advancing the plot or character development.
The introduction of Hughie into the fight by pulling the fire alarm is a clever twist that adds tension and a sense of urgency to the scene. However, the transition from Butcher struggling to Hughie's sudden appearance could be smoother to maintain the flow of the action.
The resolution of the fight with Translucent's electrocution is a creative and unexpected turn of events. It showcases Hughie's quick thinking and problem-solving skills, but the aftermath of the fight could be further explored to delve into the emotional impact on the characters.
The scene ends with a cliffhanger involving Starlight harnessing her powers and Homelander causing a plane crash, setting up suspense for the next episode. This cliffhanger adds intrigue and raises questions about the characters' motivations and actions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more descriptive details to the fight scenes to create a vivid and immersive visual experience for the audience.
Ensure that the use of violence and blood serves a narrative purpose and contributes to character development.
Smooth out the transition between Butcher's struggle and Hughie's intervention to maintain the pacing and flow of the action.
Explore the emotional aftermath of the fight to deepen the impact on the characters and their relationships.
Continue to build suspense and intrigue with the cliffhanger ending, setting up anticipation for the next episode.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

the boys (TV)

Executive Summary

Pass/Consider/Recommend/Highly Recommend

Engine: Gemini

Recommend

Engine: GPT4

Recommend

Promo

Overview

Market Analysis

Scene Level Percentiles

Script Level Percentiles

Emotions Elicited Percentiles

Writer's Voice

Story Shape

Emotions Elicited

Engine: Gemini

Recommend

Executive Summary

Engine: GPT4

Recommend

Executive Summary

Screenplay Insights:

Screenplay Story Analysis

Hughie - Score: 80/100

Role

Personality

Scenes

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 8/10

Dialogue And Voice 7/10

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Scene Impact 9/10

Role Fulfillment 8/10

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Emotional Resonance 9/10

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 7

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 7

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

MBTI: isfj

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Enneagram: 6

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Butcher - Score: 80/100

Role

Personality

Scenes

Character Analysis Overview