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Scene 1 -  The Glorification of Superheroes
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
THE BOYS

Pilot

TA "The Name of the Game"



Teleplay by
Eric Kripke


Based on the Comic by
Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson


Directed by
Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg
U

NETWORK DRAFT 6
October 15, 2017




Copyright © 2017
SONY PICTURES TELEVISION INC.
All Rights Reserved
No portion of this script may be performed, or reproduced by
any means, or quoted, or published in any medium without prior
consent of SONY PICTURES TELEVISION INC. * 10202 West Washington
Boulevard * Culver City, CA 90232 *
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 1.


THE BOYS
“The Name of the Game”
FADE IN...
OPEN on COMIC BOOK PICTURES WHIRRING PAST. Golden Age to
Modern Age. Beloved heroes you all know and love -- like
Soldier Boy, Lamplighter, and most of all, the Homelander.
Until the images coalesce into a block of text:
VOUGHT STUDIOS PRESENTS:
Then -- A SNAP OF STATIC TAKES US TO --
YOUTUBE. Hand-held iPhone video of a statuesque warrior
(QUEEN MAEVE) kicking the SHIT out of a robber.
Now Queen Maeve perp-walks the cuffed robber to the waiting
NYPD. Most notable is the CROWD that’s gathered around,
cheering and chanting her name. A galaxy of phone FLASHES,
as everyone else records it, too.
The CHRYON along the bottom: “EYEWITNESS FOOTAGE OF QUEEN
TA
MAEVE IN ACTION!”
Which LAUNCHES us into a fast-paced FIREHOSE RUSH of IMAGES.
TV, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat. A multi-faceted, multi-
media world -- but one thing unites us all:
WE LOVE SUPERHEROES.
E! CHANNEL. VIDEO FOOTAGE of the DEEP, a handsome-as-hell
aquatic hero in a skin-tight suit, in Long Island, comforting
a beached whale. Bystanders call out his name (”DEEP!
DEEP!”) as TWO E! NEWS ANCHORS dish about his granite abs.
U
SNAP! A moody, Michael Bay-style image of THE SEVEN, the
world’s most popular Superhero Team. Homelander, Queen
Maeve, the Deep, the Lamplighter, others.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
The Seven. The greatest Superhero
Team on the planet.
(then)
And now you can bring them home.
Collect all Seven commemorative
glasses from McDonal--
SNAP! It’s a Christian Channel. CAPTAIN FANTASTIC, on-stage
in a MEGACHURCH. A big BANNER behind: “CAPES FOR CHRIST.”
Adoring CONGREGANTS clasp their hands in prayer.
CAPTAIN FANTASTIC
And it’s just a few short weeks to
our incredible “Believe” festival,
where we give praise to the most
powerful hero of them all, Je--


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 2.
CONTINUED:
SNAP! INSTAGRAM. Video taken from the middle of a
rambunctious crowd that’s WAY LARGER than the others we’ve
seen. POLICE barely hold them back. SHRIEKING FOR --
HOMELANDER! Head of the Seven and the world’s biggest
Superhero. If Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise and John Wayne all gang-
banged. He waves from the red carpet of a UNICEF benefit.
People go FUCKING BANANAS, SHOVE against the cops. It’s like
Beatlemania.
‘Likes’ for this Instagram Post shoot into the stratosphere.
Finally -- a LOCAL NEWS INTERVIEW with a GIRL, 20. She’s
bawling her eyes out.
GIRL
...he just... Homelander does so
much to protect us... and to be this
close to him, it’s... overwhelming.
Homelander, if you see this, Adrian
from Brooklyn loves you, loves you
with all her heart...
We PULL BACK. Revealing we’re watching a FLAT SCREEN --
TA
INT. UPPER WEST SIDE APARTMENT - NIGHT
In an upscale living room. As we meet HUGHIE (20’s, slight,
kind). In a “BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL” shirt. Installing
someone’s new TV. As well as their Blu-Ray. Sonos.
Programming their Universal Remote. Hughie does it all. We
see his FINGERS, dexterous and deft. He’s quite the tech
virtuoso.
MOMENTS LATER. He presents the BILL on a clipboard -- to a
U
WEST SIDE MOM in a New York Power Suit. She only half pays
attention, as she returns work emails on her phone.
HUGHIE
You sure? We’re running a special
on Vimtag Security Cameras. HD.
You can access ‘em from your phone.
WEST SIDE MOM
Thanks but no. I don’t think we
really need ‘em. My nanny’s here
all the time.
Hughie just has one of those sincere, earnest faces. He nods
to the woman’s 7-YEAR-OLD in a HOMELANDER COSTUME, playing
with his Dominican NANNY.
HUGHIE
Course. And you got the Homelander
watching over things.
(off the Mom’s smile)
But, you know, the Homelander can’t
be everywhere at once. Neither can
the cops.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 3.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE (CONT'D)
Or the nanny, for that matter. No,
if we wanna keep an eye on our kids?
That’s up to us. Even if we’re
working long hours and late nights.
Know what I mean?
Mom looks up from her phone. Clearly a long hour worker.
HUGHIE
Maybe you don’t need the cameras,
but what about that one time you do?
Is there such a thing as too safe?
Off Hughie. Smiling warmly. Making the sale.
INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - NIGHT
A Mom-and-Pop ELECTRONICS STORE. TV’s and STEREO EQUIPMENT
on the shelves. Hughie behind the counter. As --
The bell over the door RINGS. ROBIN (20’s, girl-next-door
cute) enters. She sidles up to Hughie, as if a customer --
TA ROBIN
Excuse me, sir? I want to schedule
an appointment. For you to come
over and --
(arches an eyebrow)
Lay some cable.
HUGHIE
(smiles)
Robin. That doesn’t mean what you
think it means.
U
ROBIN
‘Laying cable’ means sex.
HUGHIE
‘Laying pipe’ means sex. ‘Laying
cable’ means you want me to come to
your house and take a shit.
ROBIN
(laughing)
That’s disgusting.
HUGHIE
Hey, you said it.
ROBIN
You ready yet? Despite your best
efforts, I’m still hungry.
Genres: ["Superhero","Comedy","Drama"]

Summary The opening scene presents a montage of media images, showcasing the immense popularity and societal impact of superheroes, particularly The Seven led by Homelander. It highlights the public's adoration for these heroes and their presence in various aspects of culture. The scene emphasizes the emotional connection people have with superheroes, ending with a focus on Homelander's immense following.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Engaging characters
  • Satirical tone
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant conflict
  • Minimal character development
Critique
  • The scene starts with a montage of media images and footage showcasing the popularity and societal impact of superheroes, setting the tone for the script. However, the transition from the media images to Hughie installing a TV in a customer's home feels abrupt and disconnected.
  • The dialogue between Hughie and the West Side Mom discussing security cameras and the Homelander costume worn by her son feels forced and unnatural. The conversation lacks depth and authenticity, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
  • The interaction between Hughie and Robin in the electronics store also feels contrived and cliched. The humor around the misunderstanding of 'laying cable' comes across as juvenile and detracts from the overall tone of the scene.
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose, failing to establish a strong narrative or character development. It feels disjointed and fails to engage the audience effectively.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between the media montage and Hughie's introduction. This will help establish a stronger connection between the different elements of the script.
  • Focus on developing more authentic and meaningful dialogue between the characters to enhance their relationships and make the scene more engaging for the audience.
  • Avoid relying on cliched humor and instead strive for more nuanced and original interactions between the characters. This will help elevate the quality of the scene and make it more memorable.
  • Ensure that each scene serves a clear purpose in advancing the plot and developing the characters. Establish a cohesive narrative flow to keep the audience invested in the story.



Scene 2 -  Tragic Accident
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. NEW YORK SIDE STREET - NIGHT
OPEN ON A BUS-STOP POSTER. A completely BLACK SUITED HERO in
a cologne ad. “BLACK NOIR for DRAKKAR NOIR.”

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 4.
CONTINUED:
As Hughie and Robin, holding hands, walk down an empty SIDE-
STREET. She CHUCKLES at a story he just told --
ROBIN
...so you got her from ‘no thanks,’
to four cameras?
HUGHIE
What can I say? I’m a good fucking
salesman.
(off Robin’s eye-roll)
Hey, I got you, didn’t I?
ROBIN
Barely!
(beat)
Speaking of, Mr. Salesman. Did you
ask for the raise?
Hughie takes a half-beat. He knows Robin isn’t going to like
this, but plays it off, casually.
HUGHIE
Gary was totally supportive -- he
TA
just says things are slow. Next
year, though, for sure.
ROBIN
Okay.
Hughie looks at her. Feels guilty.
HUGHIE
What do you want me to do? Go in
there and kick his ass?
U
ROBIN
I said ‘okay.’
HUGHIE
But you didn’t mean it. I see that
look. C’mon, let’s hear it.
ROBIN
(sighs, alright)
You’re the best guy there, by a long
shot -- and Gary’s taking advantage
of you -- and yeah, you should get
in there and fight for it.
This is banter, not bickering. A sign of how much they love,
and are comfortable with, each other.
HUGHIE
Jesus. I didn’t realize you needed
a sugar daddy.



(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 5.
CONTINUED: (2)
ROBIN
Blow me. This is about you getting
what you deserve. Hell, I’m killing
myself at school cause it’s gonna
pay off -- for both of us. I mean,
if we’re moving in together --
Robin takes one step off the curb into the street, about to
cross. But Hughie stops on a dime.
HUGHIE
Wait. What’d you just say?
ROBIN
(breaks into a grin)
Well, we can’t keep -- laying pipe --
at your parent’s place. Trying to
keep quiet, staring up at that dumb
Zeppelin poster.
HUGHIE
(also grins)
Hey. Don’t ever besmirch the
Zeppelin poster.
TA
He’s still on the curb, she’s still one step in the street.
As he leans forward and kisses her. Like none he’s ever had
before -- or ever will again.
Hughie steps back, holding both of Robin’s hands. They’re so
in love, then --
SMASH! Robin is suddenly, shockingly ATOMIZED before
Hughie’s eyes. Blood and gummy bits of viscera spatter
against Hughie’s face. Hughie still holds Robin’s hands.
U
But that’s all he’s holding. They’re gory, detached.
It happens so fast, Hughie doesn’t have time to react.
As fast-running hero A-TRAIN skids to a stop. Robin’s
insides all over his costumed outsides. He clutches a
distinctive BLUE DUFFEL BAG tight to his chest. The
motherfucker just ran right through Hughie’s girlfriend.
A-Train is straight-up frightened. Jittery as hell. But not
because of what he just did. Then why?
A-TRAIN
(sputtering)
Oh God, I’m -- I’m sorry. But I
can’t stop. I can’t stop.
And with that, A-Train RACES away at supersonic speeds,
leaving a blurred trail of motion in his wake.
And leaving Hughie. Alone. Holding two bloody hands. In
shock, he can’t let them go. Until some emotion -- some
abject horror -- begins to seep in...

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 6.
CONTINUED: (3)
HUGHIE
(a whisper)
... R... Rob...
WIDE SHOT. Down the street. Hughie is small in the frame.
His voice distant, ragged, wrenching, as finally:
HUGHIE
ROBIN! ROBIN!!
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - DES MOINES, IOWA - DAY
A generic Nissan Altima pulls up before a generic office
park. STARLIGHT (20’s, blonde, sweet, in a reasonably modest
superhero outfit) climbs out of the passenger seat. She
clutches a HEADSHOT, looks nervous.
But not as nervous as her MOTHER. Who licks her finger,
smooths out Starlight’s eyebrow.
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
Whatever you do, don’t chew your
thumbnail. And remember to smile.
TA
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - WAITING ROOM - DAY
All beige, all the time. Water cooler burps. A table with a
sad, out of date PEOPLE magazine. Metal folding chairs
occupied by a few exotically-garbed SUPERHEROINES. (Let’s
play the clash between the mundane and the superheroic).
Starlight enters, signs in. Nods at one of the other
Superheroines, apparently no love lost.
STARLIGHT
U
Hey Countess.
COUNTESS
Starlight. Omigod. So good to see
you. Is that a new headshot?
STARLIGHT
No. Same one.
COUNTESS
It’s so nice.
Countess gives a “I’m pretending to like you but I fucking
hate your guts” grin. Starlight smiles back, self-conscious.
From there, we enter a MONTAGE of Starlight’s bizarre
AUDITION. INTERCUTTING:
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - AUDITION ROOM - DAY
VIDEO CAMERA POV. It SNAPS to life. Focusing in on
Starlight. Anxious.


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 7.
CONTINUED:
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Please slate for the camera.
STARLIGHT
Yeah, I’m, um, Starlight. 5 foot 8,
127 pounds.
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Turn around please.
She rotates, an awkward 360 degree turn. Then --
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Okay, let’s see it, dear.
STARLIGHT
You should look away --
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Sorry?
STARLIGHT
Turn away from camera and shut your
TA
eyes. Or else I’ll blind you.

Alright.
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Go ahead.
Starlight concentrates -- it starts with her eyes, which glow
white hot -- then the OVERHEAD FLUORESCENTS FLICKER and FADE,
as she draws energy from her nearby surroundings --
Until her EYES emit a J.J. Abrams-style, blazing LIGHT BURST
that explodes into the room --
U
The camera FREEZES and FRITZES and RATTLES at the concussive
blast. When it resumes, it’s on its side, Starlight is
crouching over someone just off camera, upset --
STARLIGHT
I’m so sorry, are you alright?
CASTING DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Just fine, dear. Very impressive.
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - BATHROOM - DAY
Starlight on the toilet. Clearly peeing. (You never see
superheroes peeing!) Then she reaches beneath her, pulls out
the plastic urine test cup. Begins to label it...
Genres: ["Superhero","Drama","Comedy"]

Summary While walking down a street, Hughie and his girlfriend Robin are suddenly struck by A-Train; Robin is killed instantly. Hughie is left in shock, holding her detached hands.
Strengths
  • Emotional impact
  • Character development
  • Plot twist
Weaknesses
  • Sudden shift in tone may be jarring for some viewers
Critique
  • The transition from the previous scene to this one is abrupt and lacks a smooth connection. It jumps from a tragic and intense moment to a completely different setting and tone without a clear transition.
  • The dialogue between Hughie and Robin feels a bit forced and unnatural, especially in the way they discuss their relationship and future plans. It could benefit from more authentic and organic conversation.
  • The sudden and shocking death of Robin feels somewhat contrived and overly dramatic. It may be more impactful to build up to this moment gradually, allowing the audience to connect with the characters and feel the weight of the loss.
  • The introduction of A-Train and his actions could be more effectively portrayed to enhance the tension and emotional impact of the scene. The character's motivations and reactions could be further developed to make the moment more compelling.
  • The scene lacks depth and emotional resonance, failing to fully explore the grief and trauma experienced by Hughie after witnessing Robin's death. This aspect could be delved into more deeply to create a more powerful and poignant moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the transition between scenes to create a smoother flow and connection between the different settings and tones.
  • Work on refining the dialogue between Hughie and Robin to make it more authentic and engaging, reflecting a natural conversation between two people in a relationship.
  • Revisit the portrayal of Robin's death and A-Train's actions to make them more realistic and impactful, building up the tension and emotional stakes of the scene.
  • Focus on exploring Hughie's emotional journey and trauma in more depth, allowing the audience to connect with his grief and shock on a deeper level.
  • Consider adding layers to the characters and their interactions to create a more nuanced and compelling scene that resonates with the audience.



Scene 3 -  Grief and Determination
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
Starlight sits at a POLYGRAPH. Wears sensors. A bland
technician across from her, taking notes. (Fun fact: these
are real questions from CIA employee interviews.)



(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 8.
CONTINUED:
TECHNICIAN
Have you ever plotted to overthrow
the United States of America?
STARLIGHT
No.
The Technician inspects the answer. Mutters to himself.
Betrays nothing. Starlight starts chewing her thumbnail.
TECHNICIAN
How do you feel when you see a small
animal in distress?
STARLIGHT
Um. Bad.
TECHNICIAN
Did you ever feel sexual urges when
sitting in your parents’ lap?
STARLIGHT
What? No. God. No.
TA
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - AUDITION ROOM - DAY
VIDEO CAMERA POV. Starlight in the midst of an interview.
She speaks with genuine heart.
STARLIGHT
...I was just... like most Super-
Abled, I was born like this. My Mom
was thrilled. She made me go to all
those little miss hero pageants. I
hated it, I can still smell the
U
hairspray. And at the Q and A, they
always asked me my wish. And I
always said, “to save the world.”
The judges chuckled, like it was
cute. But it’s not a joke to me.
Since when did ‘hopeful’ and ‘naive’
become the same thing? Why get into
this business, if not to save the
world? It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
And it’s why all I’ve ever wanted
was to be in the Seven...
Off her pixelated video image...
INT. ROBIN’S PARENTS’ APARTMENT - FEW DAYS LATER
PHOTOS of ROBIN. Surrounded by thick FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS.
A ROOMFUL of somber people in DARK SUITS, eating from small
plates. We notice a WOMAN crying into a MAN’s shoulder.
Robin’s PARENTS. This is the post-funeral reception.
Everyone stands close, united in grief. Except for --


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 9.
CONTINUED:
Hughie. Sits in the corner. Alone. In a suit and tie. He
holds a plate with a square of ambrosia Jell-O salad on it.
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. A maelstrom of heartbreak, pain and
emotion, beneath a numb shell. He looks up, sees --
POV. Two CHILDREN in nice clothes, sprawled before the TV.
Watching a “SEVEN” CARTOON. Even here, even now... most
people are FANS...
INT. HUGHIE’S FAMILY APARTMENT - QUEENS - DAY
Hughie returns back to his FAMILY APARTMENT. Tie loosened.
His zaftig MOM follows, along with his wheezing FATHER
(sallow, skinny, rolling an oxygen tank beside him).
Dad thumps on the couch, flips on the TV.
HUGHIE’S MOM
Well, I thought it was a lovely
service. Just lovely.
Hughie. What’s he supposed to say? It was awesome?
TA HUGHIE’S MOM
Did you eat? Can I -- fix you some
pizza rolls?
HUGHIE
...I’m not hungry.
HUGHIE’S MOM
(noticing the TV)
Oh, honey. Look.
U
ON THE SCREEN. Six o’clock news. A PRESS CONFERENCE. A-
TRAIN. Beside VOUGHT VICE-PRESIDENT of HERO MANAGEMENT JULIA
STILLWELL (40’s).
Hughie noticeably flinches at this.
JULIA STILLWELL (ON TV)
...and as you know, A-Train was
placed on standard administrative
leave until the NYPD could conduct
their investigation. Which they’ve
now concluded -- and have ruled no
wrong-doing. But that doesn’t begin
to convey the terrible regret we all
feel at this awful, tragic loss...
A-TRAIN (ON TV)
My deepest condolences to Robin
Ward’s family. I was chasing those
bank robbers... and she just...
stepped into the middle of the
street... and I couldn’t...
A-Train trails off, choked up. Golden Globe-worthy.
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 10.
CONTINUED:
Hughie mutters to himself. Devastated.
HUGHIE
Middle of the --? She was a half-
step off the fucking curb.
DING DONG! The door.
Mom swings open the door, revealing a VOUGHT LAWYER -- DOUG
FRIEDMAN. All Clinton-esque, lip-biting sympathy.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
Does a Hugh Campbell live here?
INT. HUGHIE’S FAMILY APARTMENT - MINUTES LATER - NIGHT
A small stack of LEGAL DOCUMENTS on a TABLE. Hughie sits in
front of the lawyer. Scans the papers.
Hughie’s Mom observes. Dad still watches TV in the back,
seemingly catatonic, wheezing through his nose tube.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
TA ...really, everyone at Vought is
just... wrecked about Robin...
(then, as a ‘friend’)
Now. You two weren’t married and --
look, technically there’s no legal
claim. But still, Vought wants to
do the right thing -- offer you 25
thousand in restitution.
HUGHIE’S MOM
(that’s life-changing)
25 thousand!
U
DOUG FRIEDMAN
It’s the least we could do, ma’am.
You just need to sign -- here -- and
I’ll hand over the check --
HUGHIE
(reading, realizing)
But this -- is a confidentiality
agreement.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
It’s a boiler plate NDA --
HUGHIE
I sign this, I can’t talk about it?
Have to pretend it didn’t happen?
That I wasn’t holding Robin’s arms
in my hands?
DOUG FRIEDMAN
I know you’re upset, but we’re just
trying to help --

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 11.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE
Then say you’re sorry --
DOUG FRIEDMAN
Excuse me?
Hughie builds a head of steam --
HUGHIE
You people say ‘condolences’ and ‘my
regrets’ and ‘our sympathies,’ but
no one can look me in the fucking
eye and say “I’m sorry!” I’m not
signing anything! Now get out!
Doug Friedman pauses a beat, unsure. Hughie charges over to
him, ROUGHLY HAULS HIM OUT OF HIS SEAT!
HUGHIE
I said GET THE HELL OUT!
TA SMASH CUT TO:
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Sitting quietly in his seat. That outburst
was just in his imagination. There’s churning lava deep down
inside him. But he’s not a fighter. Not yet.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
You okay? As I said, a boiler plate
NDA, really pretty standard.
HUGHIE
I’ll think about it.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
U
Hughie --
HUGHIE
Let me think about it.
Beat. Doug Friedman gives a smile. Reads the room.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
I get it. I’ll leave the document,
gimme a ring if you have questions.
(then)
You keep the pen, okay?
The LAWYER hands over a SILVER PEN labeled ‘VOUGHT.’
EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD - DES MOINES, IOWA - DAY
We soar over countless versions of the same middle class
house. Like some cloning experiment run horrifically amok.
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 12.
Genres: ["Drama","Superhero","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Starlight undergoes a polygraph test for her interview with The Seven, expressing her desire to save the world. Meanwhile, Hughie attends Robin's funeral and grapples with grief and loss. He refuses a settlement from Vought International, maintaining his anger and seeking justice.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Plot advancement
  • Character development
  • Realistic portrayal of grief and loss
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly melodramatic
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Starlight taking a polygraph test to Hughie attending Robin's funeral, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • The polygraph test questions seem random and disconnected, lacking a cohesive theme or purpose.
  • The dialogue in the polygraph test feels forced and unnatural, especially the question about feeling sexual urges while sitting in parents' laps.
  • The emotional impact of Robin's death and Hughie's grief is overshadowed by the disjointed nature of the scene.
  • The introduction of Hughie's family and the Vought lawyer feels rushed and could benefit from more development and emotional depth.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to flow more smoothly between Starlight's polygraph test and Hughie's experience at the funeral.
  • Focus on creating a more coherent and meaningful set of questions for the polygraph test that tie into Starlight's character development.
  • Revise the dialogue in the polygraph test to feel more authentic and purposeful.
  • Enhance the emotional impact of Robin's death and Hughie's grief by giving these moments more space and depth.
  • Take the time to develop Hughie's family dynamics and the interaction with the Vought lawyer to add layers to the scene.



Scene 4 -  Conflicting Paths and Broken Dreams
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
OPEN ON A BOOKCASE. Loaded with TROPHIES. RIBBONS. “LITTLE
MISS SUPERSTAR - 1st PLACE.” “SWEET CORN FESTIVAL & 5K RUN -
BEST OVERALL POWERS.” Etc. Along with a crowd of photos --
of a heavily made-up, Jon Benet-style Starlight, ages 4 thru
10, always jauntily posing, hands-on-hips, wearing a kid-
sized, homemade version of her outfit.
A shrine to a Mother’s pride in her daughter.
In the adjacent kitchen -- Starlight herself, in her grown-up
Superhero outfit, pours some Kraft Shells and Cheese into a
pot. Keeps one ear on a POLICE SCANNER, which babbles on
about some local loitering and a nasty rash of graffiti.
Her Mother enters -- listens briefly to the scanner --
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
Any maniacs out there?
STARLIGHT
Quiet night. Like every night.
TA STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
Too bad. We could use the press
right now.
(sees the pot, clucks)
Oh, Annie, could you pack any more
carbs into that?
Apparently, Annie is her ‘secret identity’ name.
STARLIGHT
I’m hungry, Mother. And would you
U
relax? I didn’t get the job.
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
You don’t know that, you’re better
than all of them.
When -- RING. RING. The phone. Mom goes to answer.
STARLIGHT
They’re auditioning nation-wide.
Besides, Countess probably got it,
she’s really good in a room.
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
If you’re negative, negative things
happen to you.
(picks up phone)
Hello? Um, I’m her Mother. Yes,
yes, one moment.
Mom holds out the phone, on pins and needles. Mouths “it’s
them!” Starlight can’t help but feel a stab of butterflies.
Moves for the phone.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 13.
CONTINUED:
STARLIGHT
Hello? Yes, this is she.
(then)
I -- got it? I GOT IT?!
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
YOU GOT IT!! YOU GOT IT!!
Off this rambunctious, unbridled maternal ECSTASY --
INT. ROBIN’S PARENTS’ APARTMENT - NIGHT
OPEN ON A FRAMED PHOTO in a much less happy home. ROBIN
beaming beside her loving PARENTS.
WIDER. Hughie sits at their kitchen table. Awkwardly
shuffles notes and papers.
In front of Robin’s Mom and Dad. Mom, red-rimmed eyes, only
stares down at her folded hands. Dad also averts eye
contact, impatiently taps his wedding ring onto his beer
bottle throughout. Clink. Clink.
TA HUGHIE
...so we can’t file criminal charges
against A-Train. Heroes are like
cops, they can’t be charged for
collateral damage while in pursuit.
Robin’s Mom wipes away a tear. This is all a painful
subject. Hughie continues --
HUGHIE
But -- but -- we can still file a
civil suit. I found a lawyer --
U
he’ll work on percentage, won’t even
charge us unless we win --
ROBIN’S DAD
Hughie --
HUGHIE
I just need you to jump in -- I’m
not family, I can’t really sue by
myself. But --
ROBIN’S DAD
Hughie. Stop. We’re not suing
anybody.
HUGHIE
What? Why not?
ROBIN’S DAD
There’s no case. She was in the
street. It’s the same as if she jay-
walked and a bus hit her.


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 14.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE
She was a half-step off the curb!
Then Hughie spots it. On the table, right in front of the
parents: another SILVER ‘VOUGHT’ PEN. The truth falls on
Hughie like a ton of bricks.
HUGHIE
Wait, were they -- did you sign?
(silence speaks volumes)
You took their money? Gene?
Dad stops clinking the beer bottle. Searches Hughie’s face.
ROBIN’S DAD
How long have I known you, Hughie?
HUGHIE
Since -- Robin and me were in high
school.
ROBIN’S DAD
Prom night, actually. We met you,
in that tux two sizes too big -- and
TA
there are some kids who just have
that go-getter spark in their eye.
(then)
You were not one of those kids.
(glancing at his wife)
I’d say to her all the time, didn’t
I? What’s Robin see in him? Got no
drive, no fire, no fight. Boy
doesn’t give a shit about anything.
HUGHIE
U
I cared about your daughter. I’m
trying to fight now.
ROBIN’S DAD
(raw)
Too late. She’s dead. And you
wanna drag out some court case? So
we can relive her death?
(hand on his wife)
Yeah, we took the fucking money.
And now we wanna -- try to -- put it
all behind us.
HUGHIE
So what? A-Train just gets away
with this?
ROBIN’S DAD
There’s no case, she was in the
street! You let her step into the
street. It’s not A-Train we blame.
Off Hughie, as if absorbing a palpable body blow...
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 15.


EXT. NEW YORK STREET - NIGHT
Hughie. Walking down the street. Despondent. Listening to
a MESSAGE on his CELL --
DOUG FRIEDMAN (ON PHONE)
Hugh, this is Doug Friedman from
Vought, just checking in. Look, I
know the money can never make up for
losing Robin. But we can make
things a little easier for your
family, if you’d --
Hughie CLICKS it off. Then strangely, we CUT TO --
A STILL CAMERA POV. From inside a car. SNAPPING PICS of
Hughie. Clickclickclickclick. As he enters a bodega.
Who’s taking pictures? Off this mystery --
INT. NEW YORK BODEGA - NIGHT
A SIXER of BUD LIGHT. Pulled from the fridge case by Hughie.
TA
He’s on edge.
An edge he goes plummeting right over when --
He pivots in the cramped aisle. Coming face to face with A-
Train! Even worse, a DOZEN A-TRAINS! Side by side!
It’s a magazine rack. A-Train on the cover of US WEEKLY. He
smiles, hugging a chirpy BALD CANCER KID beneath the headline
“MAKING WISHES COME TRUE.”
Hughie, breathing shallow, backs away. Bumping against an
U
entire row of CEREAL. Box drops, Hughie looks.
Delicious FROSTED A-TRAINS. A whole fucking ROW of them.
WIDE ANGLE. Hughie. Spinning. Drowning. Now sees -- A-
Train on CANS of MONSTER ENERGY DRINK.
On a CARDBOARD CUT-OUT at the aisle’s end, cerveza in hand --
‘A-TRAIN CELEBRA CINCO DE MAYO.’
A-Train, A-Train, A-Train, A-Train.
The guy murdered the love of Hughie’s life. And everyone
idolizes the asshole.
Hughie’s chest is heaving now. He slides to the floor, back
against the wall. We leave him there -- in the throes of a
full blown PTSD PANIC ATTACK.
Genres: ["Drama","Superhero"]

Summary Starlight eagerly celebrates a job offer while Hughie confronts the harsh reality of the superhero industry, triggered by Vought's manipulation and the overwhelming loss of Robin.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Plot advancement
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly melodramatic
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Starlight's celebratory moment of getting the job to Hughie's somber and emotional interaction with Robin's parents, which can be jarring for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Hughie and Robin's parents feels a bit forced and heavy-handed, lacking subtlety in conveying their emotions and motivations.
  • The scene lacks a clear resolution or progression in terms of character development or plot advancement, leaving the audience hanging without a satisfying conclusion.
  • The visual descriptions of Hughie's panic attack are vivid and impactful, but the transition to this intense moment feels rushed and could benefit from more build-up and emotional depth.
  • The scene could benefit from more nuanced exploration of Hughie's grief and anger, as well as the moral dilemmas faced by Starlight and her mother, to add depth and complexity to the characters and their motivations.
Suggestions
  • Consider smoothing out the transition between Starlight's excitement and Hughie's grief to create a more cohesive flow in the narrative.
  • Work on refining the dialogue between Hughie and Robin's parents to make their emotions and decisions more believable and relatable to the audience.
  • Try to provide a clearer resolution or progression in the scene to give the audience a sense of closure or advancement in the story.
  • Build up to Hughie's panic attack more gradually to create a more impactful and emotionally resonant moment for the audience.
  • Explore the characters' internal struggles and moral dilemmas more deeply to add layers of complexity and depth to their interactions and decisions.



Scene 5 -  Starlight's Arrival and Presentation
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. THE SEVEN TOWER - NEW YORK CITY - MORNING
PAN DOWN off the gleaming, sky-scraping, futuristic SEVEN
TOWER. To find --

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 16.
CONTINUED:
A LIMO PULLS UP. A ‘Vought’ PAGE opens the door for --
Starlight. Followed by her Mother. They gape up at the
Tower. At the CROWD of SCREAMING FANS behind the ropes. A
GROUP OF MEN and WOMEN APPROACH -- Starlight’s ENTOURAGE --
ASHLEY
Hi. I’m Ashley, I’m your publicist.
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
(holy shit!)
A publicist.
STARLIGHT
Hi. Hello.
ASHLEY
This is Rachel, hair and make-up.
Luis is your stylist. Dan and Rich,
they’re from your marketing and
social media teams. Amy’s your PA,
you need anything, you ask her. You
two thirsty? Amy!
TA STARLIGHT
(to the group)
I’m -- hi. No, we’re good.
ASHLEY
Well, Amy’s gonna get your Mom to
her seat, but you, you’re with me,
we’re gonna be late!
Starlight is dizzy already. A heady whirlwind of glamor.
Waves happily at her Mother as she’s whisked away.
U
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - AUDITORIUM - DAY
Starlight’s Mother, awed, takes her VIP front row seat among
a packed HOUSE of INVESTORS.
A SPOTLIGHT illuminates Vice-President of Hero Management
Julia Stillwell. Confident. Gregarious.
She pitches the crowd before a stage-wide video screen --
‘VOUGHT INTERNATIONAL: 2017 ANNUAL MEETING OF SHAREHOLDERS.’
Along with alternating images of their various projects.
Movie Posters. Theme Parks. Toys. Cartoons. Vought makes
Marvel look like a corn-studded piece of shit.
JULIA STILLWELL
...net income is up 14 percent,
our latest film “G-Men: World War”
grossed just shy of 1.7 billion
world-wide. This fall we break
ground on our newest theme park
outside of Paris. Our branding
opportunities are limitless.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 17.
CONTINUED:
JULIA STILLWELL (CONT'D)
It’s a good time to be in the
Superhero Business.
The crowd applauds -- Julia holds up her hand, goes sincere --
JULIA STILLWELL
But as we all know, none of that
matters. Because job one? Is
managing, supporting, and advising
the brave heroes who put themselves
in harm’s way each and every day.
For us. Take a look.
The spotlight snuffs out. Inspirational music swells, as a
slickly packaged P.R. video begins on the huge screen. TOMMY
LEE JONES got paid a shit-ton to narrate.
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
Vought International. Handling the
Business of Superheroes, so
Superheroes can handle their
Business...
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - ELEVATOR - DAY
TA
Starlight. Flanked by her team. Crowded elevator going up,
up and away. Make-up artist primps Starlight on the fly.
ASHLEY
You know, you’re doing really great
so far...
STARLIGHT
I haven’t done anything yet.
U
ASHLEY
Exactly. And you’re already up 2
and a half points with Midwesterners
and Conservative Christians in 18 to
49. I saw your audition, by the
way. The ‘saving the world’ thing.
Really brilliant.
STARLIGHT
I meant it.
ASHLEY
That’s why we love you. So. You
ready for your life to change?
Starlight’s overwhelmed but elated. Yeah. She thinks so.
Genres: ["Superhero","Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Starlight and her mother arrive at the Seven Tower, greeted by a team of professionals. Vought's Vice-President presents to investors, highlighting the company's success and support for superheroes. Starlight prepares for her first public appearance, feeling overwhelmed but excited.
Strengths
  • Compelling storytelling
  • Emotional depth
  • Realistic dialogue
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Some scenes may be too intense for sensitive viewers
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of conflict or tension, which is essential for engaging the audience and driving the story forward.
  • The dialogue feels somewhat superficial and lacks depth, especially considering the emotional turmoil the characters are going through.
  • The introduction of Starlight's entourage and the VIP treatment she receives feels cliched and predictable, missing an opportunity to delve deeper into her character and inner struggles.
  • The focus on Vought's financial success and branding opportunities detracts from the emotional core of the story, which should be centered around the personal journeys of the characters.
  • The transition between scenes from the limo arrival to the auditorium presentation feels disjointed and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the narrative.
Suggestions
  • Introduce a more personal conflict or obstacle for Starlight to overcome, showcasing her internal struggles and growth as a character.
  • Enhance the dialogue to reflect the emotional depth of the characters, especially in moments of vulnerability and conflict.
  • Consider exploring the relationship dynamics between Starlight and her mother in a more nuanced and authentic way, adding layers to their interactions.
  • Focus on character development and emotional resonance rather than exposition about Vought's success, to keep the audience invested in the personal journeys of the protagonists.
  • Work on creating a seamless transition between scenes to maintain the narrative flow and keep the audience engaged in the story progression.



Scene 6 -  Starlight's Debut and Butcher's Revelation
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - AUDITORIUM - DAY
The video continues. Classy Ken Burns style visuals. First,
we see black and white photos of a Captain America-like hero
named SOLDIER BOY.


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 18.
CONTINUED:
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
...1944. Soldier Boy. The first
Superpowered human. To be followed
by more. Dozens more. Men and
women born -- blessed -- with
extraordinary genetic abilities.
Jonas Salk famously called them ‘a
leap forward in evolution.’ No
one’s quite sure why it happened,
but thank God it did.
Multiple IMAGES of HEROES flit past.
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
Until, of course, the apex. The
pinnacle. The formation of the most
popular Superhero Team the world’s
ever seen. THE SEVEN.
(crowd goes wild)
Led by -- not just a hero -- but an
American institution. As powerful
as he is humble. Ladies and
gentlemen -- the HOMELANDER.
TA
Now the crowd goes WILD. As a SPOTLIGHT appears in the
center of stage -- revealing the HOMELANDER. Live and in the
flesh! Giving an aw-shucks wave.
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
And please welcome the rest of the
Seven! QUEEN MAEVE. BLACK NOIR.
THE DEEP. A-TRAIN. TRANSLUCENT.
Spotlights BLAZE ON beside the Homelander. Introducing each
hero, in person. (Translucent is negative space in a suit --
U
an invisible man).
CLOSE ON STARLIGHT. Being shuffled out onto the stage by a
STAGE MANAGER. In shadow. Her moment’s about to come...
IN THE CROWD. Her Mother’s as nervous as she is.
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
And finally -- unless you live under
a rock, you’ve heard that after a
long, distinguished career with the
Seven, the Lamplighter has retired.
A grateful nation bids him a fond
farewell.
Adoring images of THE LAMPLIGHTER, along with Marines
saluting and children beaming their ‘thank you’s.’
TOMMY LEE JONES (V.O.)
But now -- as we turn towards the
future -- we introduce the newest
member of the Seven. Please welcome
-- STARLIGHT.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 19.
CONTINUED: (2)
The WHITE HOT SPOTLIGHT SNAPS onto Starlight. She smiles,
jittery, waves. Drinks in the crashing waves of applause.
Beside all of her idols. Locks eyes with --
IN THE CROWD. Her Mother. This is literally the single best
moment of Mom’s life.
JULIA STILLWELL
(stepping out)
The Seven, ladies and gentlemen!
How about ‘em!?
The thunderous clapping continues, as well as a universe of
iPhone flashbulbs. Starlight can’t help but steal glances at
the Homelander. The Deep leans over, whispers to her,
charming, disarming.
DEEP
(re: Homelander)
I know. It’s kinda like sharing a
stage with God, right? But you
wanna know something? He chews with
his mouth open. Spits little bits
of salad right at you.
TA
Starlight smiles at the Deep.
all this back down to earth.
Grateful to have someone bring

STARLIGHT
I just -- I mean -- I can’t believe
I’m really here.
DEEP
Hey. You’re here because you’re
meant to be here.
U
STARLIGHT
...thank you.
DEEP
(warm empathy)
Look, I remember my first day, it’s
a lot to take in. But we’ll show
you the ropes.
Starlight nods at him, grateful. Turns back to twinkling
flashbulbs and raw, uncut adoration. This is all of her
wildest, most secret dreams come true... off this...
EXT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - NIGHT
POV. From across the street. We see Hughie, through the
window, downcast as he upsells some equipment.
REVEAL -- we’re in a boat of a Cadillac. Behind the wheel --
A black-trench-coated MAN. This is BILLY BUTCHER (40).


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 20.
CONTINUED:
Enigmatic, he reaches into his GLOVE COMPARTMENT. Tugs out a
CIGAR BOX. Opens it, revealing --
A PILE of FAKE IDENTIFICATION CARDS. All with his picture.
NYPD, FDNY, NSA, DEA, ATF, DHS, some foreign CARDS. He
shuffles through them, before choosing an FBI ID. Perfect.
Goes without saying -- who the HOLY FUCK is Butcher?
INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - NIGHT
A TELEVISION SCREEN. ACCESS HOLLYWOOD. Some b-roll footage
of Starlight, waving shy to the crowd at the Vought
stockholder meeting.
NATALIE MORALES (V.O.)
...and how does newest Seven member
Starlight keep her beach-ready bod?
The answer might surprise you...
Hughie. Before a CUSTOMER. He doesn’t notice the TV --
HUGHIE
TA
...no, you want the carbon cables.
Cost more, but they conduct
electricity way better --
When the BELL over the door RINGS. Hughie jerks his head up,
illogically hoping against hope that Robin walks through the
door. Of course, she doesn’t. Instead, he spots --
Butcher. Strolling in. He inspects a section of NANNY-CAMS.
Hughie steps up --
HUGHIE
U
You interested in a nanny cam?
We’re running a special on Vimtag...
Butcher looks up. He’s got a blue collar BRITISH ACCENT. A
lot like Michael Caine.
BUTCHER
Tell me. How many nannies go around
shakin’ their babies, d’you reckon?
HUGHIE
Sorry?
BUTCHER
A good, hard shake. Like trynna get
ketchup out of a bottle. 1 percent?
Less?
HUGHIE
Uh, I -- I really don’t know.




(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 21.
CONTINUED:
BUTCHER
But they sell a coupla billion
dollars worth of this shit
worldwide.
(smirks at Hughie)
Goes to show. The bollocks you can
make people swallow, if you get ‘em
scared enough.
HUGHIE
(long beat)
Okay. Is there anything I can help
you with?
BUTCHER
I’m not gonna piss you about,
Hughie. I know what happened to
Robin. Fuckin’ diabolical.
HUGHIE
I’m sorry, who are you?
BUTCHER
She wasn’t in the street. She was
TA
one step off the fuckin’ curb. And
you didn’t take the pay-off.
Respect that.
HUGHIE
(upset now)
I said who the hell are you? How do
you know that?
BUTCHER
Butcher’s the name. People call me
U
Billy. I was thinkin’ we could have
a bit of a chat?
Genres: ["Superhero","Drama","Thriller"]

Summary The Seven introduce Starlight, their newest member, amidst fanfare. Meanwhile, Hughie encounters Butcher, a mysterious man who exposes his knowledge of Robin's death and The Seven's involvement, hinting at potential conflicts to come.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • High emotional impact
  • Intriguing plot setup
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly exposition-heavy
Critique
  • The scene transitions smoothly from the introduction of the Seven to Starlight's nervous anticipation of her moment on stage, capturing the excitement and glamour of the superhero world.
  • The dialogue between Starlight and the Deep adds depth to their characters and provides insight into the dynamics within the Seven.
  • The introduction of Billy Butcher at the end of the scene adds a mysterious and intriguing element, setting up a potential conflict with Hughie and adding a new layer to the storyline.
  • The visuals of the scene effectively convey the grandeur of the Seven Tower auditorium and the overwhelming experience for Starlight as she steps into the spotlight.
  • The scene effectively sets up future conflicts and character interactions, building anticipation for what's to come in the story.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal conflict for Starlight as she grapples with the pressure of joining the Seven and staying true to herself.
  • Explore deeper interactions between Starlight and the other members of the Seven to establish their relationships and dynamics more clearly.
  • Enhance the tension between Hughie and Butcher by foreshadowing their conflict earlier in the script to build anticipation for their eventual confrontation.
  • Introduce subtle hints or clues about Butcher's true intentions to create intrigue and suspense for the audience.
  • Continue to balance the emotional moments with the action and intrigue to keep the audience engaged and invested in the characters and their journeys.



Scene 7 -  The Recruitment
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT
OPEN ON: the FBI CARD. Hughie inspects it --
Hughie. Butcher. Pass more and more pedestrians, as they
near the neon atomic blast of Times Square...
HUGHIE
You’re a Fed? You don’t sound like
a Fed.
BUTCHER
I can’t fuckin’ immigrate? There’s
a big green crumpet out in the
harbor that says different.
HUGHIE
You don’t look like one, either.
BUTCHER
Oh? What do I look like?
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 22.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE
Like a Columbine shooter.
Butcher smirks. Hughie’s got spark. He nods at the ID,
which we know is fake --
BUTCHER
Well, it’s right there in black an’
white. But if you wanna give a
looksie up me bum to be sure, you go
right ahead.
HUGHIE
Um. So what, exactly, can I do for
you?
BUTCHER
It’s what I can do for you, my son.
Help you get payback for yer girl.
(off Hughie)
You ain’t alone, Hughie, happens a
lot more than you think. Supes lose
over a hundred people a year to
collateral damage --
TA HUGHIE
That can’t be true.
(off Butcher)
That’s true?
BUTCHER
It’s not that they ain’t strong,
it’s that they don’t care. We’re
just ants to them.
U
HUGHIE
C’mon. It’d be all over the news,
people’d be screaming bloody murder.
BUTCHER
Might be the odd mention now an’
again, like with Robin. But there’s
a lot more they don’t tell you --
that gets swept under the rug --
HUGHIE
Why?
BUTCHER
It ain’t obvious?
He holds his hand out.
WIDE SHOT. TIMES SQUARE. 50 foot high SCREENS: a shirtless,
Wahlberg-esque HERO reclines in his Calvin Klein tighty-
whiteys. A-Train in a NIKE SHOE spot. A MOVIE: “Tek-Knight
Begins.” The VOUGHT STORE. Tourists take their photos with
cardboard hero cut-outs. Superheroes are inescapable --
pretty much like the actual Times Square.
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 23.
CONTINUED: (2)
BUTCHER
The movie tickets, an’ the
lobbyists, an’ the fuckin’ shoes.
But mostly, people like that cozy
feeling Supes give ‘em. You got
someone to swoop in and save the day
for you, then you don’t gotta do it
yourself.
(then)
But you don’t know half the shit
they’re up to. It’d curl your hair
and straighten your curlies. But
that’s where I come in.
HUGHIE
Come in... to do what?
BUTCHER
Spank the bastards, they ever step
too far outta line.
HUGHIE
How do you spank a Supe?
TA BUTCHER
Ways an’ means. You don’t need a
fuckin’ glowy green rock to find
someone’s weakness. C’mon.
HUGHIE
Where?
BUTCHER
You’ll love it.
U
HUGHIE
Hold on.
(Butcher stops)
Thank you for an extremely... weird
conversation. But I’m not sure what
this is... and I think I should
probably get back.
BUTCHER
Mate. Once I go, I’m gone. This is
your one an’ only. Besides, what’ve
you got to lose, you ain’t already
lost?
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Thinking. Off this --
We PAN OFF Hughie and Butcher, to the GLEAMING SEVEN TOWER --
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - NIGHT
Starlight. Taking in the PANORAMIC VIEW from the SEVEN
BOARDROOM. 99th floor. Floor to ceiling windows. City
lights before her -- like her own private galaxy.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 24.
CONTINUED:
She pivots to the SEVEN’S FAMOUS CONFERENCE TABLE. Runs her
hand over HOMELANDER’S CHAIR. Tastefully embossed with his
name. Like touching the President’s chair.
Then... she sees... a CHAIR WITH HER NAME ON IT. Her eyes
glisten with emotion.
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - HALLWAY - NIGHT - LATER
CLOSE ON A SMALL FISHBOWL. With an exotic fish inside -- an
electric blue ram cichlid, to be exact.
WIDER. Starlight carries the fishbowl down the sleek
hallway. Reaches a DOOR. RINGS the bell.
No answer. She KNOCKS. The door drifts open. Unlocked.
STARLIGHT
Hello? Deep?
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Hughie and Butcher discuss Butcher's vigilante group and Hughie's opportunity to join. Starlight struggles with her emotions and the absence of Deep in his room.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Intriguing conflicts
  • Sharp dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too exposition-heavy
Critique
  • The scene starts off with an intriguing conversation between Hughie and Butcher in Times Square, setting the tone for a mysterious and potentially dangerous partnership.
  • The dialogue between Hughie and Butcher is engaging and reveals important information about the world of superheroes, their impact on society, and Butcher's motives.
  • The visual description of Times Square and the larger-than-life presence of superheroes on the screens effectively conveys the overwhelming influence of Supes in the world.
  • The transition from the conversation in Times Square to Starlight in the Seven Tower is a bit abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the narrative.
  • Starlight's emotional reaction to seeing a chair with her name on it in the Seven Tower boardroom adds depth to her character and hints at her internal struggles and aspirations.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the Times Square conversation and Starlight's scene to maintain the narrative flow.
  • Explore ways to further develop the connection between Hughie and Butcher, building up the tension and intrigue surrounding their potential partnership.
  • Continue to use visual cues and descriptions to enhance the world-building and convey the larger-than-life presence of superheroes in the story.
  • Consider delving deeper into Starlight's emotional journey and internal conflicts as she navigates the glamorous yet challenging world of the Seven.
  • Ensure that each scene serves a clear purpose in advancing the plot and developing the characters, maintaining a balance between exposition and action.



Scene 8 -  Deep's Secret
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - DEEP’S ROOM - NIGHT
Starlight steps in, tentative. Deep’s apartment is MASSIVE.
TA
All blonde wood and trickling waterfalls and koi ponds and
Chinese writing. Not just aquatic -- Zen aquatic.
STARLIGHT
Just wanted to thank you for being
so ki...
She feels awkward. Certainly doesn’t want to trespass.
She’s about to turn and leave when...
She hears an unmistakable GROANING. Sickly. Sounds like
someone might be ill? Or in trouble?
U
STARLIGHT
Hello?
She cautiously moves to the sound source. Then steps around
a thick tangle of bamboo trees to see --
THE DEEP. Bites a RUBBER TUBE wrapped tight around his arm.
As he SHOOTS a syringe of BRIGHT BLUE LIQUID into his vein.
What the hell is that stuff?
A PRETTY GIRL in a PARTY DRESS sprawls next to him. Her eyes
flutter, nearly unconscious. A SYRINGE JUTS from her arm.
Deep makes eye contact with Starlight. Who’s horrified --
DEEP
What the FUCK?
STARLIGHT
Oh my God, sorry, I’m sorry --


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 25.
CONTINUED:
Deep stands. He’s furious. Aggressive. And completely
different than the charming hero Starlight met.
DEEP
You just walk in??
STARLIGHT
(sputtering)
I knocked... your door was... I was
just bringing you...
She lamely holds out the fishbowl.
DEEP
Turn around. Forget this ever
happened.
But Starlight notices the girl. A thick gob of spittle at
the side of her mouth.
STARLIGHT
Is she... okay?
TA
That sends Deep over the edge. SUDDENLY, with SUPER
STRENGTH, he SHOVES Starlight against the wall!
She drops the FISHBOWL. CRASH!
Scary, Deep clamps his hand around Starlight’s neck. His
forehead veins are popping, he’s so pissed. (It’s a roid-
like reaction to the mysterious blue drug).
DEEP
Who the HELL asked you??!!
U
STARLIGHT
(small, scared)
...I think she needs help...
DEEP
Oh, you’re the fucking hero?
Please. You’re here cause we needed
a few more points with Evangelicals.
There’s a dozen blonde cunts that
fit the bill. You’re nobody.
(then)
You breathe a word of this to
anyone? You’re out. For good. The
fuck back to Iowa. We clear?
CLOSE ON STARLIGHT. Just staring at the dying exotic fish,
FLOPPING ABOUT on the floor. Does she fight back? Make a
stand? A long beat...
No. She doesn’t. She does what she needs to do.
STARLIGHT
Of course. I won’t tell anybody.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 26.
CONTINUED: (2)
A long beat. Frenzied face to frightened face. Until --
He lets her go. She beats a HASTY RETREAT --
EXT. THE SEVEN TOWER - HALLWAY
She scrambles out the door. Then stops. Presses her back
against the wall, out of breath.
It takes every fiber of her being not to cry...
EXT. ALLEY - OLD MONEY BUILDING - NIGHT
Back alley. A SERVICE ENTRANCE behind a tall, ornate, old-
money downtown building.
Butcher strides to the door, Hughie in tow. KNOCKS on it.
Beat. A NERVOUS SECURITY GUARD answers (dark coat, tie,
BADGE). Hughie watches this exchange, curious.
SECURITY GUARD
Fuck, man.
TA BUTCHER
This is the last time, Harry.
SECURITY GUARD
It’s always the last time. This is
fucking police brutality.
(nods inside)
You know what these people’ll do to
me, they catch me letting you in?
BUTCHER
(cool, even)
U
Not even half of what I’ll do, if
you don’t.
Butcher smiles but never breaks eye contact. It’s
unsettling. Message received.
The Security Guard hands over two SECURITY BADGES. Butcher
gives one to Hughie.
HUGHIE
Did he just say you’re a cop?
BUTCHER
Cop, Fed, it’s all the same to that
cunt. Here, put this on.
HUGHIE
What the hell is this?
But Butcher just strides inside. Uneasy, and now a bit
suspicious, Hughie follows --
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 27.


INT. OLD MONEY BUILDING - PRIVATE CLUB - NIGHT
DING! CLOSE ON HUGHIE as the ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS. His jaw
hits the floor. As he takes in --
A PRIVATE CLUB. Dark. Thumping music. Lots of SIDE ROOMS
and various nooks and crannies.
AND SUPERHEROES. Male and female. All shapes and sizes and
colors. PARTYING THEIR COSTUMED ASSES OFF. The female
heroes are having as much rambunctious fun as the men. It’s
like Studio 54 -- multiplied by 54.
One FEMALE HERO with a tiara tightens her FLUORESCENT ROPE,
S&M style, around a HOG-TIED NAKED MAN. He happily begs to
be spanked, she happily obliges.
Two HEROES TELEKINETICALLY HURL a CHAIR over a ducking
WAITER, SMASHING it through the window, as if they were
Whitesnake on the Sunset Strip.
Hughie and Butcher step over a burly STEEL-SKINNED SUPERHERO,
passed out on the floor in a pool of his own sick. WAITERS
try to drag him away, but he’s far too heavy.
TA
Hughie is absolutely gobsmacked. Then spots --
HUGHIE
Hey, that’s Captain Fantastic. The
‘Capes for Christ’ guy. Holds those
anti-gay rallies.
POV. The stretchy Superhero we saw on TV in the opener is in
ecstasy, wrapped around THREE MEN in G-STRINGS.
U
BUTCHER
And now he’s the meat in the
Manwich. Fuckin’ hypocrite. Like
Bill Cosby in spandex.
They pass a HERO, his hair a SHIMMERING WAVE of FIRE, quietly
and desperately crying to himself. Who knows why.
HUGHIE
Okay. So this is more than I ever,
ever wanted to see. I’m leaving now
before one of them tries to have sex
with me. Or kill me. Or both.
BUTCHER
Not yet.
Off Hughie -- he follows Butcher into a back room --
Genres: ["Superhero","Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Starlight discovers Deep's drug use and an unconscious woman, leading to a confrontation and a threat to keep the incident a secret.
Strengths
  • Complex characters
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Tense dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Potentially triggering content
  • Violent scenes
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose, as it starts with Starlight entering Deep's room but then shifts focus to Deep's drug use and the confrontation between Starlight and Deep.
  • The transition between Starlight entering the room and discovering Deep's drug use feels abrupt and disjointed, leaving the audience confused about the sequence of events.
  • The dialogue between Starlight and Deep feels forced and lacks depth, failing to fully explore the tension and conflict between the characters.
  • The scene fails to effectively convey the emotional impact of Starlight witnessing Deep's drug use and the subsequent confrontation, missing an opportunity to delve into the complexities of their relationship.
  • The resolution of the scene, where Starlight agrees to keep the incident a secret, feels rushed and unsatisfying, leaving the audience with unresolved questions and a lack of closure.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to provide a clearer narrative arc and focus on the central conflict between Starlight and Deep.
  • Develop the dialogue between Starlight and Deep to add depth and complexity to their interaction, exploring their conflicting emotions and motivations.
  • Enhance the emotional impact of the scene by delving deeper into Starlight's reaction to discovering Deep's drug use and the subsequent confrontation.
  • Provide a more satisfying resolution to the scene by allowing for a meaningful exchange between Starlight and Deep, addressing the consequences of their encounter and the implications for their relationship.
  • Consider incorporating more visual cues and sensory details to create a vivid and immersive atmosphere in Deep's room, enhancing the overall impact of the scene.



Scene 9 -  Unveiling the Truth
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. SECURITY ROOM - NIGHT
The anxious Security Guard checks the coast is clear. Then
lets Butcher and Hughie into the SECURITY ROOM. A wall full
of monitors recording every room.
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 28.
CONTINUED:
SECURITY GUARD
Hurry up.
BUTCHER
Where’s the vid you rang me about?
The Security Guard reluctantly hands Butcher a MEMORY STICK.
Butcher plugs it into a COMPUTER.
BUTCHER
Oi. Hughie. Monitor 2.
Butcher fiddles a knob. Turning up the AUDIO.
THE MONITOR. Time-stamped security cam footage of a BACK
ROOM. A-TRAIN. Throws back shots like it’s his job.
HUGHIE
A-Train’s -- here?
BUTCHER
Was. This is from last night.
TA
THE MONITOR. Suddenly, A-Train looks O.S., as --
BIG GAME (O.S.)
A-Train. Your girlfriend’s here.
She’s pissed.
A HERO -- BIG GAME -- enters. He carries two MANNEQUIN ARMS.
BIG GAME
She wants to know why you ran
through her the other night. I
mean, she just went to pieces.
U
HUGHIE. His jaw clenches. Butcher looks at him,
sympathetic. Knows how hard this is for him.
A-TRAIN
Hey, I’m not the one that threw a
Volvo at that carjacker, without
realizing there was a fucking kid
strapped inside.
BIG GAME
Screw you, man, that sucked.
(sucks back a shot)
I had to go fucking cry on Diane
Sawyer.
Pointed, because A-Train just did the same --
A-TRAIN
Boy, can’t imagine what that’s like,
asshole.
Big Game sticks the mannequin arms into A-Train’s crotch.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 29.
CONTINUED: (2)
BIG GAME
Aw, look, she wants to make up.
A-TRAIN
Sorry, baby, but when I get inside a
girl, I get inside a girl.
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Quietly enraged --
HUGHIE
...they’re laughing. Like she’s a
joke. They’re fucking laughing.
BUTCHER
Question is, what are you gonna do
about it?
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - OUTSIDE BOARDROOM - NIGHT
Vought Vice-President Julia Stillwell skims down the Tower’s
hallway with the Vought Lawyer -- same guy from before -- he
hurries to keep up. He’s nervous -- she is miles above his
paygrade. But she never loses her corporate geniality.
TA
I’m sorry.
JULIA STILLWELL
It’s Doug?
DOUG FRIEDMAN
Yes. Doug. Friedman. Ma’am.
JULIA STILLWELL
Doug, I appreciate you trying to low-
ball this Hugh Campbell, but can we
settle out the A-Train thing? I
mean, 25 thousand? I got a bigger
U
shoe budget.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
I’m not sure it’s about the money
with this guy.
JULIA STILLWELL
If you quit nickel and diming him?
It’ll be about the money. Just get
it off our plate, please.
Without breaking stride, Julia glides into the boardroom --
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - NIGHT
Where she grins at the MAYOR of BALTIMORE (50), sitting at
the table. He nods to a GLOSSY PIC of the HOMELANDER.
Autographed “To Mason: Reach for the Sky! Best, Homelander.”
MAYOR
Thanks for this. My kid’s gonna
lose his mind.


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 30.
CONTINUED:
JULIA STILLWELL
Our pleasure, Mr. Mayor. Just don’t
sell it on-line.
MAYOR
Alright. Tell me what you’re
thinking.
JULIA STILLWELL
(into her presentation)
Steve, look. Baltimore’s a
beautiful town. Those crab cakes at
Faidley’s? Change your life. But
you’ve got a problem. Homicide
rates are up, what, 62%? Your
police aren’t closing cases, you’re
on the verge of needing a federal
life-line.
MAYOR
You don’t need to salt my wounds.
JULIA STILLWELL
No disrespect. But you know police
TA
tanks rolling down main street won’t
play on the 6 o’clock news. How’d
it work out for Ferguson? Or Baton
Rouge?
MAYOR
Cut to the chase, Julia. Who are
you proposing?
She clicks a remote. On the flat-screen, PHOTOS of a
handsome, Will Smith-like BLACK SUPERHERO appear.
U
JULIA STILLWELL
Nubian Prince. Fits your
population’s demo, but not too
militant -- Caucasians love him too,
approval’s around 68 percent. We’re
offering a 3 year exclusive
contract. Plus our full PR support.
And we’ll throw in 9 and a half
points of the merchandising.
MAYOR
I thought he was in Detroit.
JULIA STILLWELL
We’re thinking about making a move.
We’ve come to you first.
MAYOR
How much?




(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 31.
CONTINUED: (2)
JULIA STILLWELL
300 million a year. I know it’s a
tough swallow, but we both know your
city needs a hero.
MAYOR
(beat, contemplates)
Look. I have the City Council up my
ass on every fucking dime of the
budget. You make it 200 million, I
can sell it.
JULIA STILLWELL
I’m sorry. Can’t do it. We have
Atlanta waiting in the wings.
MAYOR
(beat)
I think maybe you can.
JULIA STILLWELL
Oh? And why’s that?
MAYOR
TA (leans forward)
Because I happen to know about
Compound V.
Stillwell betrays only the merest twitch.
JULIA STILLWELL
I’m sorry. What’s ‘Compound V?’
MAYOR
The kinda rumor that can really
U
tarnish those heroes of yours. And
no one wants that -- people need
heroes. Now. I can make sure it
stays a rumor. You know I’m a
friend. But friendship cuts both
ways.
What is he talking about? We’re not sure. But Stillwell
only gives him the most pleasant of smiles.
JULIA STILLWELL
Sorry, Steve, I just don’t know what
you’re talking about. 300 million’s
the price. Or we go to Atlanta.
Off Stillwell. She might not be a superhero, but she sure
knows how to wear a mask...
Genres: ["Action","Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Hughie and Butcher are enraged by the security footage showing A-Train and Big Game mocking Robin's injuries. Meanwhile, Julia Stillwell negotiates with the Mayor of Baltimore, offering the new superhero Nubian Prince in exchange for dropping the Compound V investigation. Despite the deal, the threat of Vought's secret program being exposed remains.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Reveals crucial information
  • Sharp dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too exposition-heavy
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Butcher and Hughie entering the security room to a flashback of A-Train's disrespectful behavior towards Hughie's girlfriend, Robin. This transition could be smoother to maintain the flow of the story.
  • The dialogue between A-Train and Big Game feels forced and lacks subtlety. The insults and banter come across as cliched and do not add depth to the characters or the scene.
  • The emotional impact of the scene, particularly Hughie's reaction to the footage, could be heightened with more nuanced and realistic reactions. Hughie's quiet rage could be portrayed in a more authentic and impactful way.
  • The introduction of Julia Stillwell and the Mayor of Baltimore in the boardroom scene feels disconnected from the previous events. The shift in focus from A-Train's behavior to a negotiation about a new superhero contract is jarring and disrupts the narrative flow.
  • The Mayor's mention of Compound V at the end of the scene introduces a new plot point without sufficient context or buildup, leaving the audience confused rather than intrigued.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to maintain a cohesive narrative flow and avoid abrupt transitions between different storylines.
  • Revise the dialogue between A-Train and Big Game to make it more natural and reflective of their characters' personalities.
  • Focus on enhancing the emotional impact of Hughie's reaction to the footage by delving deeper into his internal turmoil and conflict.
  • Integrate the introduction of Julia Stillwell and the Mayor more seamlessly into the scene by establishing a clearer connection to the preceding events.
  • Provide more context and buildup to the mention of Compound V to ensure that the audience is engaged and intrigued by the new plot development.



Scene 10 -  Aftermath and Plans Amidst the Darkness
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BATHROOM - NIGHT
A row of toilet stalls. And Starlight. At a sink. Stares at
herself in the mirror. Her mascara runs. She’s been crying.


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 32.
CONTINUED:
She inspects the NECK BRUISING from where the Deep grabbed
her. It’s already turning an angry purple.
When... QUEEN MAEVE enters. Heads to the sink beside
Starlight to reapply some make-up from a small clutch.
Starlight sneaks glances at Queen Maeve. Humiliated to be
meeting her idol in such circumstances. Subtly tries to
cover her neck bruises with her hand.
When Queen Maeve pivots to Starlight. Long beat. Is Maeve
going to say something? But then --
Queen Maeve gently pulls Starlight’s hand away from her neck.
Inspects the bruising.
Then... Maeve reaches into her clutch, pulls out a bottle of
skin tone CONCEALER. Holds it up to Starlight’s neck. With
compassion --
QUEEN MAEVE
I think this is your color.
TA
Implying that Starlight should cover up the bruise. Maybe
even implying that Maeve’s been there herself.
Then -- Queen Maeve pivots for the door. Calls out, without
looking back.
QUEEN MAEVE
Translucent, you’re such a fucking
perv.
Queen Maeve exits. Beat. Then... Translucent the invisible
man MATERIALIZES, naked, spying on Starlight from the corner.
U
TRANSLUCENT
Uh. I’ll -- I’ll just go.
He walks sheepishly out.
Off Starlight, painfully learning the old adage -- never,
ever meet your heroes...
INT. DIVE BAR - NIGHT
The dive bar of your dreams. All dark wood and character.
Hughie sits at a private BOOTH, beer in front of him.
Butcher across, nursing a soda water (he never drinks).
Hughie. Digesting what he just saw. Quiet. PISSED.
HUGHIE
They’re -- all like that? All of
‘em? Even the Homelander?
Butcher skips the tiniest half beat. Voice goes the tiniest
bit flat. Something’s going on here, but we don’t dwell.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 33.
CONTINUED:
BUTCHER
Homelander’s the exception. Doesn’t
drink, smoke. Fuckin’ saint. But
the rest? Yeah, pretty much.
(then)
Here, have a shufti at this --
From a MANILA FOLDER, Butcher removes some densely printed
PAPERS, spreads them on the table.
HUGHIE
What are these?
BUTCHER
Police log, night of Robin’s death.
Couple bar fights, some cars got
nicked. Know what’s not in there?
No banks triggering any alarms. No
one charged with robbery at Central
Booking. A-Train stopped two bank
robbers, my arse. Someone’s
covering somethin’ up.
HUGHIE
TA
Covering up -- what?
We re-play FLASHES of Hughie, Robin and A-Train from the
opening... to illustrate Butcher’s case...
BUTCHER
Whatever A-Train was doing that
night. You said he looked scared.
But what’s he got to be scared of?
What did he mean, ‘he can’t stop?’
And what was in that bag? All
U
sounds bleedin’ dodgy to me.
(off Hughie)
So the big question is: where was he
runnin’?
HUGHIE
Or who was he running from?
Butcher regards Hughie. Impressed. Smart.
BUTCHER
Yeah. True. Good point.
(beat)
Figure that out, we’ll have the
fucker. Got a nose for this shit,
and I’m tellin’ you, I can smell it.
Hughie stares at the reports. Feels emboldened.
HUGHIE
Okay. How can I help?



(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 34.
CONTINUED: (2)
BUTCHER
Ring Vought. Tell ‘em you’ll take
the money, sign the NDA. But only
if A-Train’s there in person when
you do.
HUGHIE
Wait, I don’t... why would I...?
BUTCHER
I dunno. Say you gotta shake his
hand. For closure. They’ll invite
you into the Seven Tower to meet
him. Past their security. And
then, my son, you are gonna stick a
bug in the place. We’ll have a
listen, really see what’s going on.
HUGHIE
So, sorry -- you want me to go into
the Seven tower? By myself? And
plant -- a bug? Like I’m fucking
James Bond?
TA BUTCHER
Hughie. Why do you think I came to
you in the first place? For the
good of me health?
Again, Hughie’s breathing grows shallow. He pales. Starting
to have another PTSD attack.
HUGHIE
You gotta come with me.
U
BUTCHER
No way they give me a pass.
HUGHIE
What if something goes wrong?
BUTCHER
It won’t.
HUGHIE
Oh. Okay. Really comforting. And
easy for you to say, as you sit out
here on your “arse.” I mean, you’re
FBI, if you’re fucking FBI, get a
warrant, why do you need me --
BUTCHER
(a bald lie, of course)
I got a warrant. But that place is
fire-walled and untappable and
locked up tighter than a nun’s
clunge. I couldn’t sneak in meself,
not in a million years. But you
can. Now calm down.
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 35.
CONTINUED: (3)
HUGHIE
Calm? You didn’t see A-Train,
covered in Robin’s -- and I’m
supposed to shake his hand and
smile? These people kill fucking
kids in fucking Volvos on, like, a
random Tuesday, what do you think
they’ll do to me if they catch me?
BUTCHER
We’ve never had a go at the Seven
before, not like this --
HUGHIE
I said NO!
BUTCHER
(beat)
You saw him on that video. You
heard what he said about her.
HUGHIE
(quieter, sadder)
I just -- I can’t. I’m just gonna
TA
fuck it up. You won’t have your bug
and I’ll be dead. I’m not like you.
Hughie stands. Exits.
Off Butcher. He doesn’t look upset. He smirks, confident,
sips from his club soda. As if he expected this --
EXT. BAR - NIGHT
Butcher. Emerging from the bar. Calmly strolling.
U
When -- far overhead -- A HERO SOARS through the night sky,
lit by city lights. Followed by ANOTHER. It’s that last one
who’s got Butcher’s attention. He’s pretty far away, but
eagle eyed viewers might recognize him as the HOMELANDER.
WE CREEP IN ON BUTCHER. Stops. Just staring up. Wearing
his own stoic mask. Until --
BUTCHER
I’m gonna fuckin’ have you. You
cunt.
WIDER. Butcher’s just another New Yorker. When... a BLACK
SUV cruises past.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller","Superhero"]

Summary Starlight faces her vulnerability in a compassionate encounter with Queen Maeve, while Hughie and Butcher forge a risky plan to infiltrate the Seven Tower to gather evidence against A-Train.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Compelling conflict
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly exposition-heavy
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of purpose or direction, with multiple elements introduced but not fully explored or resolved.
  • The interaction between Starlight and Queen Maeve feels superficial and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to delve into their characters' dynamics.
  • The presence of Translucent spying on Starlight adds a creepy element but feels disconnected from the rest of the scene and doesn't contribute significantly to the overall narrative.
  • The conversation between Hughie and Butcher feels forced and lacks natural flow, making it difficult for the audience to fully engage with the characters and their motivations.
  • The transition between the bathroom scene and the dive bar scene is abrupt and disjointed, causing a jarring shift in tone and pacing.
Suggestions
  • Focus on developing the emotional depth and complexity of the interactions between characters, particularly Starlight and Queen Maeve.
  • Integrate Translucent's presence in a more meaningful way that ties into the larger plot or character arcs.
  • Refine the dialogue between Hughie and Butcher to make it more organic and reflective of their personalities and motivations.
  • Smooth out the transition between scenes to maintain a cohesive narrative flow and keep the audience engaged.
  • Consider revisiting the scene to clarify the central conflict, character motivations, and thematic elements to enhance the overall impact and coherence of the screenplay.



Scene 11 -  Negotiation and Intrigue
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. BLACK SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
The MAYOR of BALTIMORE. The one who mentioned ‘Compound V,’
whatever that is. He rides in the back. On his cell.
MAYOR
Ms. Stillwell. Wasn’t sure I’d hear
from you.
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 36.


INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - NIGHT - INTERCUT
Stillwell’s smile is tight. She doesn’t like to acquiesce.
JULIA STILLWELL
Alright, Steve. This fucking
chafes, but we can go down to 230
million for Nubian Prince.
MAYOR
I think that’s very reasonable,
Julia. Thank you.
JULIA STILLWELL
Well, like you said, friendship cuts
both ways.
MAYOR
Yes, it does. You have my word.
There are secrets and scandals between these lines. But we
don’t know what they are. Yet.
TA
Off the Mayor, seemingly winning the negotiation --
INT. HUGHIE’S FAMILY APARTMENT - QUEENS - NEXT DAY
ON THE TV. ELLEN. Eternally upbeat. She sits with a
VISIBLE (and clothed) TRANSLUCENT --
He rolls up his sleeve, lifts his bare arm. Which SHIMMERS
then seemingly DISAPPEARS.
TRANSLUCENT
...no, I don’t actually vanish, my
U
skin turns into this -- carbon meta-
material -- that bends light. Like
an invisibility cloak.
ELLEN
But just to be clear -- you have to
be completely naked, right?
The audience OOHS and AAHS --
Hughie. Sits on the couch. Numb, listless, defeated. Next
to his wheezing Father. His Mom sets a plate of pizza rolls
on the coffee table.
HUGHIE’S MOM
Here you go, honey. Pizza rolls
with ketchup.
Hughie picks one up. Hesitates. Somehow, eating one means
acquiescing to his sad suburban life. When --




(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 37.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE’S DAD
(finally speaks)
30 years at that One Hour
Martinizing. Cost me a lung, and
what’d I get for it? And you wanna
take on Vought? It’s like trynna
take on a mountain. Take the money,
Hughie. We’re lucky to get it.
PUSH IN ON HUGHIE. Holding that pizza roll. Looking at his
Dad. Is he really gonna give up? Give in?
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY
Starlight -- dressed for the first time in CIVILIAN CLOTHES.
As her secret identity: mild-mannered Annie. She strolls
through the park, phone to her ear. INTERCUT WITH:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller","Superhero"]

Summary The Mayor negotiates with Stillwell to lower Nubian Prince's cost, hinting at a hidden agreement. Hughie struggles with accepting Vought's payment while Starlight faces potential danger in Central Park. Translucent's invisibility demonstration highlights Vought's powers, while the black SUV foreshadows future events.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Revealing secrets
  • Exploring moral dilemmas
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly exposition-heavy
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear connection to the previous scenes and feels disjointed in terms of narrative flow.
  • The dialogue between the Mayor and Julia Stillwell is somewhat vague and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to fully understand the dynamics between the characters.
  • The transition from the negotiation scene to Hughie's family apartment is abrupt and doesn't provide a smooth transition for the audience.
  • The interaction between Ellen and Translucent feels out of place and doesn't contribute much to the overall plot or character development.
  • The emotional conflict within Hughie is not effectively portrayed, leaving the audience disconnected from his internal struggle.
  • The introduction of Starlight in civilian clothes in Central Park feels random and doesn't tie back to the main storyline or character arcs.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the negotiation scene to add more tension and depth to the interaction between the Mayor and Julia Stillwell, providing hints of the secrets and scandals mentioned.
  • Improve the transition between scenes by establishing a clearer link between the negotiation and Hughie's family apartment, ensuring a smoother narrative flow.
  • Reevaluate the relevance of the Ellen and Translucent interaction, either by expanding on its significance or removing it to streamline the scene.
  • Enhance the portrayal of Hughie's emotional conflict by delving deeper into his internal struggle and decision-making process regarding Vought's settlement offer.
  • Integrate Starlight's civilian appearance in Central Park more seamlessly into the overall plot, connecting it to her character development or the main storyline.



Scene 12 -  A Daughter's Journey
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY
Starlight’s Mother makes a bedazzled PRESS SCRAPBOOK of all
her daughter’s recent newspaper clippings.
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
TA
...so. How amazing is it? What’s
the Homelander like?
ANNIE/STARLIGHT
I... he’s busy, I haven’t really met
him yet. Look, Mom, I gotta tell
you what happened...
STARLIGHT’S MOTHER
Oh, I almost forgot. I was playing
Mahjong with Judy and Elaine, and
U
they were going on and on about how
wonderful Starlight is. Starlight
this and Starlight that. I know, I
know, I gotta protect your secret
identity, but I would love to see
the looks on their faces if I told
them it was you.
(beat)
Anyway, what were you gonna say?
ANNIE
(long beat)
Just that everything’s great. Just
how I dreamed. Mom, I gotta go.
WITH ANNIE. She hangs up. Sits on a park bench. Stares up
at -- the radiant SEVEN TOWER. This isn’t at all what she
thought it would be. Her dreams are dying on the vine.
HUGHIE (O.S.)
I’m sorry, but... are you okay?
HUGHIE. On a bench beside her.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 38.
CONTINUED:
Both of them, watching the Tower. For very different
reasons. She wipes a tear, embarrassed.
ANNIE
Yeah. I’m fine.
Hughie pulls a CLOTH HANDKERCHIEF out of his pocket.
Crosses to Annie. Holds it out.
She gives him an odd look. After what she’s been through,
she’s not ready to accept a kindness from a stranger.
ANNIE
No thanks.
HUGHIE
(self-conscious)
I know. Cloth handkerchief. I’m
not really 90 years old, it’s just
my Dad was in dry cleaning, he
insists I carry -- never mind.
Sorry to bother you.
Hughie pivots away. Annie looks after him -- the guy’s just
TA
trying to offer a little compassion in a cruel world.
ANNIE
No, wait. Actually, thank you,
I’d... appreciate it.
Hughie hands her the handkerchief. She dries her eyes.
ANNIE
Just having a bad day, that’s all.
U
HUGHIE
That makes two of us. Work thing or
life thing?
Beat. No one’s been willing or able to listen to Annie.
Now, finally, this stranger is.
ANNIE
Work thing. You?
HUGHIE
Life thing.
They sit in silence. Another long beat. Then --
ANNIE
You know how you -- you have this
image of yourself?
HUGHIE
Mine’s not so hot...



(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 39.
CONTINUED: (2)
ANNIE
I’m sure that’s not true.
(then)
I always thought I was... strong,
you know? Like, made of steel. A
fighter.
(then)
But then there I was... I needed to
fight. Had to. But -- I didn’t.
Kept my eyes down, mouth shut, did
what it took to keep my job. Turns
out I’m not who I thought I was.
And I think -- I think I just wanna
go home.
Hughie gives her a long, serious look.
ANNIE
Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all
that on --
HUGHIE
No, it’s not that. It’s just, I can
relate, I’m -- long story.
TA (off Annie)
Listen. Do you like your job?
ANNIE
It’s the only thing I ever wanted.
HUGHIE
And it’s a good job? You don’t get
kids hooked on smokes or anything?
ANNIE
U
It’s a great job. I could help a
lot of people.
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. A flash of vulnerability. Thinking of his
fear of A-Train. Thinking of Robin.
HUGHIE
Thing is, I -- I knew this girl.
Who’d just -- charge headfirst into
everything. Me, I backed away from
everything, I was... I dunno...
scared of falling or failing. But
she’d say ‘just cause you fall on
your ass, doesn’t mean you gotta
stay there.’
(then)
So I guess I’d say the same to you.
Pardon my french, but fuck those
fuckers. Don’t give ‘em the
satisfaction. You can still be a
fighter -- just get up and fight.



(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 40.
CONTINUED: (3)
She gives Hughie a long, thoughtful look. Whoever this guy
is, he told her just what she needed to hear, just when she
needed to hear it.
ANNIE
Sounds like a smart girl. You
should take her advice, too.
Hughie glances at her. She’s right.
HUGHIE
I’m Hughie.
ANNIE
Annie.
Off their handshake -- off a respite of tenderness amidst our
usual madness...
Genres: ["Drama","Superhero"]

Summary In her suburban home, Starlight's Mother proudly displays a scrapbook filled with her daughter's accomplishments. Amidst the accolades, Annie/Starlight grapples with disillusionment and vulnerability. Seeking solace, she confides in Hughie in the serene park. Their heartfelt conversation delves into her struggles, leading to Hughie offering compassion and a fresh perspective. As they part ways, Annie and Hughie introduce themselves, finding a spark of connection and understanding amidst their shared experiences.
Strengths
  • Authentic character development
  • Emotional depth
  • Realistic dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited impact on main plot progression
  • Low external conflict
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose, as it meanders without a strong central conflict or resolution.
  • The dialogue feels forced and unnatural at times, with characters delivering exposition rather than engaging in meaningful conversation.
  • The emotional beats and character development feel rushed and underdeveloped, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
  • The transition between Starlight's emotional turmoil in the previous scene and her interaction with Hughie in this scene is abrupt and lacks a smooth transition.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual cues and descriptive language to create a more immersive and engaging atmosphere.
Suggestions
  • Focus on establishing a clear central conflict or goal for the scene to drive the character interactions and dialogue.
  • Work on developing more natural and authentic dialogue that reveals character motivations and emotions in a subtle and nuanced way.
  • Take the time to explore the emotional journey of the characters, allowing for moments of vulnerability and growth to shine through.
  • Consider refining the transition between scenes to create a more seamless flow of emotions and character arcs.
  • Enhance the visual elements of the scene to create a more vivid and immersive setting that complements the emotional depth of the characters.



Scene 13 -  The Showdown
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. DIVE BAR - DAY
BUTCHER. Sits at the bar. Stares into his soda. When --
TA
A BEAUTIFUL REDHEAD, 30, approaches him.
booth-full of friends.
REDHEAD
Egged on by her


Hi. Hello. So I’m sure this is a
terrible idea, but my friends have
dared me -- to buy you a drink.
BUTCHER
You’re right.
(then)
It is a terrible idea.
U
REDHEAD
(ouch)
Oh, uh, okay. Sorry.
Crash and burn. She goes. Who is this guy?
When Hughie ENTERS. Passing the Redhead. To Butcher --
HUGHIE
Hey. Hoping I’d find you here.
Butcher smiles to himself. It was only a matter of time
before Hughie showed up.
BUTCHER
Boy, this is a shocker. Not
expectin’ to see you again.
HUGHIE
Okay. Let’s get A-Train.



(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 41.
CONTINUED:
BUTCHER
(feigns reluctance)
I dunno, mate. How do I know you
ain’t gonna leg it like last night?
How do I know you got the bottle?
HUGHIE
I’ve got the -- I don’t know what
‘bottle’ means in that context, but
I’m in, man, I wanna do this.
BUTCHER
You gonna see this through? To the
end?
HUGHIE
Yes.
BUTCHER
Right, then.
INT. DIVE BAR - BY THE BATHROOM - LATER
Hughie, on his cell. Butcher, listening.
TA HUGHIE
...Mr. Friedman, got your message,
and wow, 75k is -- life changing.
I’ll sign whatever you want. I just
-- I need one more thing. An
apology from A-Train.
DOUG FRIEDMAN (ON PHONE)
He already apologized.
U
HUGHIE
No. He gave his regrets. And his
sympathy. On TV. But I want him to
look me in the eye and say he’s
sorry.
DOUG FRIEDMAN (ON PHONE)
Okay, I’ll ask. But I’m telling
you, Hugh, the answer’s gonna be no.
Click. Hughie hangs up. To Butcher --
HUGHIE
Don’t think they’re going for it.
BUTCHER
Oh yes, they will. And in the
Tower, too. They’re not gonna wanna
air this shit in public.
Off Butcher’s knowing smirk --
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 42.


INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - DAY
A-Train. With Julia Stillwell. Having a quiet side-bar in
the corner as the other members of the Seven enter the
BOARDROOM for their official meeting.
A-TRAIN
No. No way.
JULIA STILLWELL
We gotta put this behind us, it’s
five minutes out of your day.
A-TRAIN
So some dude can blubber all over
me? I’m -- not good in situations
like that. No.
Julia steps forward. Her genial smile never leaves her face.
JULIA STILLWELL
You know. The Blue Bolt shaved
another point off his mile. He’s
almost as fast as you. Impressive,
TA especially someone that young.
A-TRAIN
The hell is that supposed to mean?
JULIA STILLWELL
Look, I’m just trying to help. You
know I love you, but I’m only one
person in this company. You don’t
want the guys upstairs to start
bitching that you’re difficult.
U
Like they did with the Lamplighter.
Off A-Train...
INT. DIVE BAR - DAY
Butcher. Hughie. At the bar. Waiting. When -- RING!
Hughie’s cell. He answers.
HUGHIE
Hello? Yes, Mr. Friedman...?
He gives Butcher a look. They’re in. Butcher knew it.
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BATHROOM - DAY
Starlight. Back in uniform. Alone at the sink.
She stares at herself in the mirror. Suppressing her fear
and anger. Fuck ‘em. She won’t give ‘em the satisfaction.
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 43.


INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - DAY
Starlight enters. The Seven have gathered, a modern-day
Knights of the Oblong Conference Table. Homelander at the
head. Julia Stillwell observes in the corner.
HOMELANDER
(pure Costner)
Starlight. Don’t wanna be late for
your first official meeting. I had
a whole welcome speech planned.
STARLIGHT
Sorry, Sir.
HOMELANDER
Homelander is fine.
DEEP
We were beginning to wonder if you’d
even show up.
She glares at the Deep, defiant. She’s literally got a look
to kill and wants to use it. But she restrains herself.
TA (dry)
STARLIGHT
Oh, no, I’m excited to be here. I’m
on pins and needles.
The Deep. Glares at her, surprised. Didn’t expect this much
grit from Starlight.
As a floating pair of reading glasses in the next chair
peruses some paperwork --
U
TRANSLUCENT
...can we get back to this please,
this is a serious crime.
(then)
Copyright infringement of our
brands, individually and
collectively, is costing Vought 1.2
billion per year. That’s money out
of our pockets. We’ve all got,
what, four points each?
As they ramble on... Starlight. She acts calm, strong. But
she’s wearing a mask.
A-TRAIN
Fuck. You’ve got four points?
QUEEN MAEVE
And clearly, better lawyers.
HOMELANDER
Hey. C’mon. Stop.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 44.
CONTINUED:
Everyone shuts up. Turns to the Homelander. He commands
unwavering respect --
HOMELANDER
(pure Clooney)
What’s Starlight gonna think,
listening to us haggle over nickels?
We’re the Seven for God’s sake. Now
what I want to hear -- is who you
saved this week. Black Noir, let’s
start with you --
The guy really is an omnipotent Boy Scout. Off this --
Genres: ["Drama","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Butcher and Hughie team up to confront A-Train about killing Hughie's girlfriend. A-Train refuses to apologize, leading to a tense standoff between the two sides. Meanwhile, Starlight struggles to fit in with the other members of the Seven.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Character development
  • Emotional depth
  • Power dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly dramatic or cliched
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scenes, making it feel disjointed from the rest of the script.
  • The dialogue between Butcher and the Redhead feels forced and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
  • The interaction between Hughie and Butcher is somewhat predictable and lacks nuance, missing an opportunity to delve deeper into their characters.
  • The dialogue between Hughie and Mr. Friedman on the phone feels repetitive and does not add much to the scene's development.
  • The scene lacks a strong emotional impact or tension, making it less engaging for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition from the previous scenes to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Focus on developing more authentic and meaningful dialogue between the characters to enhance their relationships and make the scene more compelling.
  • Explore deeper emotional conflicts and character motivations to add depth and complexity to the scene.
  • Consider adding more suspense or tension to the scene to keep the audience engaged and interested in the characters' journey.
  • Work on creating a stronger sense of purpose and direction for the scene to ensure it contributes effectively to the overall story arc.



Scene 14 -  Hughie's Stealth Mission in the Seven Tower
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. THE SEVEN TOWER/INT. BUTCHER’S CAR - NIGHT
PAN DOWN off the SEVEN TOWER to reveal -- Butcher’s car. The
behemoth of a Caddy.
INSIDE THE CAR. Hughie, anxious as hell. Looks in the back
seat -- notices some STRAY DOG TOYS. Bright, cutesy, squeaky
rubber animals. Seems out of character for Butcher.
HUGHIE
TA
You have a dog?
BUTCHER
No.
Butcher doesn’t elaborate further. On Hughie -- umkay.
BUTCHER
Give us your phone.
Hughie complies. Butcher pops it out of its case. Then
U
pulls out a BUG. As wide and thin as a silver dollar.
BUTCHER
Security won’t find it, or the X-
ray.
Butcher hides the bug in Hughie’s phone case, clicks the
phone back in place OVER it --
BUTCHER
Now, what they’ll probably do is
take you to the boardroom. Give it
a minute, say you need a crap. Take
out the bug when you’re in the bog.
Glue’s there on one side, see? Go
back, stick it under the boardroom
table, that’s that.
Hughie’s heart is racing. Commencing another panic attack?
He starts spluttering --
HUGHIE
That’s that? Kinda seems like -- a
lot, actually. What if --
(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 45.
CONTINUED:
BUTCHER
Hughie. Two choices. One: go an’
whine to a shrink for the rest of
your life, pop some Klonopin, maybe
punch an A-Train doll. Two: stop
bein’ such a cunt. What do you say?
Off Hughie. He swallows nervously -- a major effort -- and
climbs out of the car.
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - LOBBY - NIGHT
Hughie. GRIPPING his phone. We hear his THUMPING HEART. As
he enters the hypermodern lobby. Approaches Ashley the
publicist, surgically attached to her Blackberry.
HUGHIE
Hi -- are you Ashley? I’m Hughie
Campbell...?
Ashley smiles, thin. She’s used to working with Gods. Not
mere mortals.
ASHLEY
TA
Follow me, Mr. Campbell.
Ashley leads Hughie through the SECURITY CHECKPOINT. He
anxiously flits his eyes at --
POV’s. HEAVY FUCKING HARDWARE. SECURITY GUARDS with semi-
automatics. SURVEILLANCE CAMS mounted everywhere.
A stutter-step, as he drops his PHONE through the x-ray
machine. Hughie walks through the metal detector, eyes on
the X-RAY TECH. Who... shit, SQUINTS at the monitor...
U
X-RAY TECH
Sir, may I examine your phone?
HUGHIE
Uh -- sure.
Hughie’s about to have a heart attack. As the X-Ray Tech
carefully pores over the phone. Turns it around. Is he
gonna pop it from its case? Find the bug? This seems to
last FUCKING FOREVER. Hughie sweats bullets. Until --
X-RAY TECH
Have a “Super” day.
The Tech hands it over. Hughie collects his phone, follows
Ashley to the elevators.
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - NIGHT
Ashley opens the door to the boardroom.



(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 46.
CONTINUED:
ASHLEY
Wait here, please. A-Train will be
with you shortly.
She’s already off before Hughie can say thanks.
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BOARDROOM - TWENTY MINUTES LATER
Hughie. Alone. Sitting at the table in the imposing,
cavernous room. Clenching his phone.
He stares at it, tries to will himself not to sweat. Is this
his moment? Should he go to the bathroom now? While no one
is here, no one is watching?
BEEP! The desk INTERCOM comes to life.
ASSISTANT ON PHONE
Won’t be long, Mr. Campbell.
HUGHIE
I need to -- go to the bathroom.
Hello?
TA
But the intercom has already clicked off.
Hughie. Takes a beat. Takes a breath. Grips his phone.
Steels himself. He can do this. This is it.
Stands up. Heads to the door. Reaches for the knob --
The door suddenly swings open! And A-TRAIN enters, followed
by Ashley, various HANDLERS, and Doug Friedman -- who begins
to lay out the documents on the table.
U
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Face-to-face with A-Train. Nose to nose.
Tete-a-tete. The source of all his misery. Anger. Anxiety.
DOUG FRIEDMAN
Just to be clear, A-Train’s apology
isn’t an admission of any sort of
culpability whatsoever, do you
understand?
Hughie manages a nod. The Lawyer gives A-Train the okay.
A-TRAIN
(a sullen 3rd grader)
Hey, man. I’m sorry what happened
to your girlfriend. Alright?
A-Train reaches out his hand to shake.
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Wide-angle, like in the bodega. Breathing
shallow. Heart pounding. Eyes wide. He’s about to plunge
into another PTSD attack! He glances down at his PHONE,
which he grips, white-knuckled.


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 47.
CONTINUED:
The Lawyer and the Publicist trade concerned looks. A-Train
looks down at Hughie’s phone, too.
A-TRAIN
Buddy. You okay?
Hughie’s gonna blow it! A cringe-worthy beat. Another!
But then... he takes a deep breath. Pulls himself together.
Into the AMAZING SALESMAN HE IS.
Firmly shakes hands. Cool as shit.
HUGHIE
Fine. I appreciate the apology.
But accidents happen, right? And
after all, you were saving the
world.
ASHLEY
(sighs with relief)
Okay, thank you, Mr. Campbell. Now
if you’ll excuse us, a crime-
fighter’s work is never done, but
TA
Douglas here will stay behind, get
you those documents...
A-Train, Ashley, and the various handlers beat a hasty
retreat. Leaving Doug Friedman behind, who holds out a pen.
HUGHIE
Where’s your bathroom?
INT. THE SEVEN TOWER - BATHROOM - NIGHT
U
Hughie enters, heads into a stall.
INSIDE THE STALL. He sits on the toilet. Wrenches his phone
from its case. But if your case is anything like mine,
that’s never, ever easy. He tugs a bit too hard --
The phone CLACKS to the floor! Even worse, so does the BUG!
Which spins like a quarter before landing on the linoleum.
It’s still in the stall, but right beneath the door, in plain
view if anyone was looking for it --
Hughie. Shit. Which escalates into FUCK when --
The door opens and SOMEONE ENTERS. Hughie freezes. He can’t
tell who it is, he only spots boots. But we can see --
It’s STARLIGHT. She moves to the sink, stares in the mirror,
gets her game face back on. If she saw Hughie, she’d
recognize him!
But... she doesn’t see him, and he never sees her. She
exits. Hughie breathes a sigh of relief. Near miss. Snags
the bug and the phone.

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 48.
CONTINUED:
He exits the stall. Exits the bathroom. But we hold a BEAT.
As TRANSLUCENT materializes in the bathroom corner. Naked.
He was just gonna perv out again, but instead, he saw the
whole damn thing. He frowns. What the hell? Off this --
EXT. THE SEVEN TOWER - NIGHT
Hughie exits the lobby. Flush with victory. Struts down the
street like fucking Travolta. Up to Butcher’s car.
Butcher gives him a curious look. Well? Hughie breaks into
a wide grin. Nods. He did it. He actually did it!
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Hughie infiltrates The Seven Tower under Butcher's guidance to plant a listening device. Despite anxiety and close encounters, he succeeds in his mission and retrieves the device, although Translucent discovers the bug, setting up a potential conflict.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Effective use of suspense
  • Character development through actions
Weaknesses
  • Some predictable elements
  • Limited character interactions
Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and suspense as Hughie infiltrates The Seven Tower to plant a bug, but there are some areas that could be improved for better storytelling.
  • The dialogue between Butcher and Hughie feels a bit forced and could be more natural to enhance the character dynamics and make the scene more engaging.
  • The interaction between Hughie and the X-Ray Tech could be more intense to heighten the stakes and create a sense of urgency.
  • The resolution of Hughie's panic attack and his interaction with A-Train could be more impactful to show the emotional weight of the situation.
  • The introduction of Starlight in the bathroom adds an element of suspense, but the execution could be more seamless to enhance the tension of the near miss.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the dialogue between Butcher and Hughie to make it more authentic and reflective of their characters.
  • Enhance the interaction between Hughie and the X-Ray Tech to increase the suspense and create a more gripping moment.
  • Focus on the emotional impact of Hughie's confrontation with A-Train to highlight the significance of the apology and resolution of the conflict.
  • Work on the timing and execution of Starlight's entrance in the bathroom to maximize the tension and near miss moment.
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional cues from Hughie to convey his inner turmoil and anxiety throughout the scene.



Scene 15 -  A Shocking Encounter
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL/INT. BUTCHER’S CAR - NIGHT
Butcher pulls up in front of Hughie’s Electronics Store.
Quiet night. No one inside but GARY, the owner.
INSIDE THE CAR. Hughie, still pumped with adrenaline.
HUGHIE
That was awesome. Staring that
TA
asshole down? I get why you dig
this job, man --
BUTCHER
Got its moments.
HUGHIE
But you’re right -- fuck A-Train,
fuck --
(finally noticing)
What’re we doing here?
U
BUTCHER
How d’you mean? You gotta go back
to work, yeah?
HUGHIE
I -- sorry?
BUTCHER
Hughie, you were brilliant. But
that’s all I needed you for.
HUGHIE
What? But -- I don’t -- I mean, I
can help you, let me help --
BUTCHER
You did help. I got it from here.
(a final)
Cheers.
Beat. Doesn’t seem like Butcher is budging.



(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 49.
CONTINUED:
HUGHIE
Um. Right. Okay.
Hughie climbs out, tries to hide his disappointment. He
gives Butcher a ‘goodbye’ nod.
HUGHIE
Oh, hey, almost forgot -- ever see
an asshole tear up 75k?
Hughie takes out the VOUGHT CHECK. RIPS it.
BUTCHER
You’re a good lad, Hughie. Not all
that common in my line of work.
Off Hughie, nodding back -- but feels oddly dissatisfied.
INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - NIGHT - LATER
ON THE TV. MSNBC. CHRIS HAYES converses with a NATIONAL
SECURITY EXPERT. Forever droning talking heads.
TA CHRIS HAYES (ON TV)
...policing cities is a thorny
enough issue as it is, but allowing
Superheroes into national defense?
We’d be basically privatizing war...
EXPERT (ON TV)
Sooner or later, it’s inevitable...
IN THE STORE. Gary throws on his jacket.
GARY
U
Alright, g’night, Hughie. You’ll
lock up?
(off Hughie’s nod)
I’m still thinking about that raise,
you know.
HUGHIE
Yeah, okay, thanks, Gary.
Gary exits. Hughie. Behind the counter. Stares at the TV.
Returning to this shitty fucking job, after all that
intrigue, feels anti-climactic, both for Hughie and for us.
But then...
ANGLE. Hughie’s back to the door. So he doesn’t see it
OPEN. And CLOSE. By ITSELF. He only hears the bell JINGLE.
HUGHIE
(as he pivots)
Sorry. I’m closing up --
(room’s empty)
Hello?

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 50.
CONTINUED:
A ghostly, disembodied VOICE --
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Who are you?
HUGHIE
(twirling)
The fuck? Where --
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Right in front of you.
That silver dollar BUG floats in the air before Hughie.
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
You think I wouldn’t find this
thing?!
Hughie barely has time to register surprise, when -- WHACK!
His head SNAPS to the side from an INVISIBLE PUNCH. Blood
flings from the side of his mouth. Oh. Shit.
INT. BUTCHER’S CAR/EXT. BACK ALLEY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
TA
Butcher. Parked in some abandoned back alley. Has a LAPTOP
open on the passenger seat. Listening to the BUG. Which
means he’s listening to Hughie.
HUGHIE (O.S.)
Please! I don’t know what you’re
talking about!
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Don’t give me that, I followed you
from the Tower!
U
BUTCHER
Fuckin’ hell, Hughie, you got
yourself made.
CLOSE ON BUTCHER. Maybe there’s a wisp of regret fluttering
over his face. Then again, maybe not. Guy’s a mystery.
From the LAPTOP -- unmistakable sounds of CRASHING GLASS --
BUTCHER
Ah, well.
Butcher closes the laptop. Sound shuts off. Seemingly
washing his hands of the whole sordid business...
INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - NIGHT
WHAM! Hughie is SHOVED BACK into a wall of TV’s. Some CRASH
to the floor, LIVE WIRES SPARKING! As Hughie gets his ASS
KICKED by an invisible man.



(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 51.
CONTINUED:
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Who was that guy you were with?! In
the car?
With admirable bravery, Hughie doesn’t answer --
So he’s THROWN again. CRASH! OUCH!
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Who was he?? He put you up to this?
HUGHIE
I don’t know! He was just a fucking
Uber driver, okay?!
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Why’d you plant the bug??
HUGHIE
...please... please...
We can SEE -- HEAR -- the crunch of glass. As Translucent
stalks closer to Hughie. Closer.
TA TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Think you can just fuck with us?
We’re the Seven! Earth’s Most
Mighty! Champions of the Innocent!
This is it. Curtains for Hughie. Fat Lady steps up to the
mike, clears her throat, and --
SMASH!!
BUTCHER’S CAR CAREENS THROUGH THE STORE’S FRONT WINDOW!
U
SHATTERING THE GLASS. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HUGHIE!
KNOCKING TRANSLUCENT CLEAR ACROSS THE ROOM. We can tell,
from the CRUNCH of his body on the windshield, from the THUD
against a collapsing shelf of ELECTRONICS.
Butcher climbs out of the car. For some reason, he holds a
sparking CATTLE PROD (stay tuned for why).
BUTCHER
Hughie, run.
(Hughie hesitates)
Fuckin’ run!
Hughie scrambles for the back room of the store -- as Butcher
straightens up, pivots to Translucent --
BUTCHER
Let him be, you invisible cunt.
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
Who are you?


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 52.
CONTINUED: (2)
BUTCHER
I’ll tell you who you are. A
fuckin’ joke, mate.
TRANSLUCENT (O.S.)
That so?
BUTCHER
Translucent doesn’t even mean
‘invisible,’ you silly twat. It
means ‘semi-transparent.’
Butcher LUNGES with the CATTLE PROD. But he misses -- not so
easy to fight an invisible man.
Translucent RIPS the CATTLE PROD out of Butcher’s HAND.
Hurls it out of reach. SHIT.
INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - BACK ROOM - CONTINUOUS
CLOSE ON HUGHIE. Darting past boxes and equipment, about to
escape out the back. He opens the door --
TA
And STOPS. Who is he gonna be? Someone who backs down? Or
someone who fights?
When he sees, on a rack in front of him -- some CARBON
COMPONENT CABLES. He looks at them. Thinking.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Hughie and Butcher visit Hughie's workplace, where Butcher dismisses him after using him to plant a bug. Hughie is attacked by the invisible superhero Translucent, but Butcher intervenes with his car, allowing Hughie to escape.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too dark or intense for all audiences
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scene, leaving the audience slightly disoriented as to the sudden change in location and focus.
  • The dialogue between Hughie and Butcher feels a bit forced and lacks depth, making their interaction less engaging for the audience.
  • The tension and suspense built up in the previous scenes are not effectively carried over into this scene, resulting in a lack of continuity in the overall narrative.
  • The introduction of Translucent and the sudden attack on Hughie feels rushed and lacks proper buildup, diminishing the impact of the confrontation.
  • The resolution with Butcher crashing his car through the store window to save Hughie feels contrived and lacks a sense of believability, detracting from the realism of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition from the previous scene to this one to maintain the flow of the narrative.
  • Work on developing more natural and meaningful dialogue between Hughie and Butcher to deepen their relationship and make their interactions more compelling.
  • Enhance the tension and suspense in the scene by building up the confrontation with Translucent more gradually, creating a more impactful and engaging moment.
  • Focus on creating a more organic and believable resolution to the conflict, ensuring that the actions taken by the characters align with their motivations and the established tone of the story.
  • Consider revising the scene to ensure that it aligns with the overall tone and pacing of the screenplay, maintaining consistency throughout the narrative.



Scene 16 -  Electrocution and Plane Crash
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. BRYMAN AUDIO VISUAL - CONTINUOUS
WHACK! Translucent punches Butcher across the jaw. Then --
WHACK! Another hit. Butcher only grins, his teeth red.
Then ingeniously SPITS BLOOD in Translucent’s FACE. We see
U
the spattered BLOOD FLOATING IN MID-AIR.
BUTCHER
There you are.
Butcher SWINGS -- CONNECTS! But then --
Translucent HITS BACK. Over and over. Harder and harder.
It doesn’t look good for Butcher. Until --
Suddenly, Hughie is THERE! He PULLS the FIRE ALARM!
WATER SPRAYS from OVERHEAD SPRINKLERS --
Revealing TRANSLUCENT. WATER SPLASHES over his BODY!
HUGHIE
The TV!
Butcher glances -- spots a SMASHED TV on the ground, throwing
sparks into a growing PUDDLE.


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 53.
CONTINUED:
Butcher gets what Hughie’s saying -- he nods -- UNLOADS a
CRUSHING ROUNDHOUSE PUNCH on Translucent -- OOF -- sends the
bastard flailing back into the sparking WATER --
Which immediately ELECTROCUTES HIM! SPARKS CLIMACTICALLY
RIDE UP Translucent’s body. Before he DROPS.
Dust-settling beat.
The sprinklers stop. Nothing on the floor but a puddle with
the outline of an invisible body in it.
HUGHIE
(out of breath)
Is he dead?
Butcher gives a HARD KICK to Translucent. No noise out of
him, no movement --
BUTCHER
Well, he ain’t movin’.
HUGHIE
TA
Shit. Shit.
BUTCHER
How’d you know electricity
bollocksed the cunt? Took me
forever to work that one out.
HUGHIE
Skin’s carbon. Highly conductive.
Saw it on ‘Ellen.’
BUTCHER
U
Nice one, Hughie. Well, come on.
We gotta get him in the trunk.
HUGHIE
Wait -- we what?
BUTCHER
Think you just offed a member of the
Seven.
HUGHIE
Me? You hit him!
BUTCHER
Semantics, my son, we’re both in a
fucksight a’ trouble.
Already, they can hear SIRENS in the distance --
HUGHIE
No, he attacked us! And you’re --
you’re a federal officer! Call the
fucking FBI!

(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 54.
CONTINUED: (2)
BUTCHER
Yeah. I ain’t really a fed.
Off Hughie -- FUCKING WHAT?
EXT. THE SEVEN TOWER - ROOFTOP - NIGHT
STARLIGHT. On the ROOF of the Seven Tower -- taking in the
infinite constellation of the city below.
PUSH IN ON HER. Her anger, her frustration, boiling and
churning inside. Rising up.
Her eyes begin to glow. Then FLARE.
WIDE. The tower’s top floors -- really, all nearby lights --
FLICKER and BLACK OUT dramatically. Around Starlight. As
she draws energy from them. As her eyes BLAZE like FIRE.
The other Supes might not see the defiant spark inside her.
Not yet. But we sure do.
EXT. SKY - NIGHT
TA
A PRIVATE JET SOARS.
INT. PRIVATE JET/EXT. SKY - NIGHT
A PICTURE. The Homelander. “To Mason: Reach for the Sky!
Best, Homelander.” We’ve seen this photo before.
The Mayor of Baltimore’s son MASON, 10. Draws at a desk in
bit lip concentration, tries to replicate his beloved
Homelander photo with a crayola-on-paper version.
U
His Dad (the Mayor) dozes in a leather chair. Various AIDES
work or sleep.
When -- Mason happens to glance out the window. He
brightens. His wildest dreams coming true --
POV. ON THE WING. THE HOMELANDER. Proud. Hands on hips.
Cape swirling, Zack Snyder-style. He smiles at Mason.
MASON
Homelander! Dad, wake up! The
Homelander’s here!
The Mayor rouses -- what? He heads over to the window, along
with the aides. They all grin -- major celeb sighting.
MAYOR
Look at that. What’s he doing here?
MASON
Did he come to say goodbye? Are you
guys friends??


(CONTINUED)
THE BOYS #101 "Name of the Game" - 10/15/17 (NETWORK DRAFT 6) 55.
CONTINUED:
POV. ON THE WING. The Homelander. Without ever losing his
smile, he looks down to the ENGINE --
And FIRES BLINDING RED BEAMS from his eyes! Flaring camera!
Right at the turbine -- SLICING IT RIGHT OFF --
MAYOR
OH MY GOD!
Guess the Mayor lost the negotiation, after all. THE PLANE
JOLTS. GOING DOWN.
Mason. Open-mouthed in shock and fear. Painfully learning
the old adage -- never, ever meet your heroes.
Homelander, still genially smiling, gives them a friendly
salute. Before FLYING OFF --
STAY WITH THE HOMELANDER. Watching, blank-faced. As the JET
NOSE DIVES. Plummets down to the Atlantic.
Turns out, Homelander wears a mask, too. And what’s behind
it is psychopathic, unhinged. And all-powerful. Off this --
TA BLACKOUT!

TO BE CONTINUED...
U
Genres: ["Action","Superhero","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Inside Bryman Audio Visual, Butcher and Translucent continue to fight until Butcher gains the upper hand and electrocutes Translucent. Hughie helps Butcher subdue Translucent by pulling the fire alarm and revealing his weakness. On the rooftop of the Seven Tower, Starlight harnesses her powers, while Homelander causes a plane crash.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Revelation of character identities
Weaknesses
  • Potential confusion with the introduction of new characters and powers
Critique
  • The scene starts with a physical confrontation between Butcher and Translucent, which is intense and action-packed. However, the fight scenes could benefit from more detailed descriptions of the characters' movements and the environment to enhance the visual impact.
  • The use of blood and violence adds to the gritty tone of the scene, but it's important to ensure that these elements serve a purpose in advancing the plot or character development.
  • The introduction of Hughie into the fight by pulling the fire alarm is a clever twist that adds tension and a sense of urgency to the scene. However, the transition from Butcher struggling to Hughie's sudden appearance could be smoother to maintain the flow of the action.
  • The resolution of the fight with Translucent's electrocution is a creative and unexpected turn of events. It showcases Hughie's quick thinking and problem-solving skills, but the aftermath of the fight could be further explored to delve into the emotional impact on the characters.
  • The scene ends with a cliffhanger involving Starlight harnessing her powers and Homelander causing a plane crash, setting up suspense for the next episode. This cliffhanger adds intrigue and raises questions about the characters' motivations and actions.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more descriptive details to the fight scenes to create a vivid and immersive visual experience for the audience.
  • Ensure that the use of violence and blood serves a narrative purpose and contributes to character development.
  • Smooth out the transition between Butcher's struggle and Hughie's intervention to maintain the pacing and flow of the action.
  • Explore the emotional aftermath of the fight to deepen the impact on the characters and their relationships.
  • Continue to build suspense and intrigue with the cliffhanger ending, setting up anticipation for the next episode.