Birdman

Executive Summary

Overview

Genres: The, unique, genres, for, the, movie, are:, Drama, Comedy

Setting: Contemporary, A theater in New York City

Themes: Identity and Self-Worth, Artistic Integrity vs. Commercial Success, Relationships and Connection, Insecurity and Self-Doubt, The Illusion of Fame and Success

Conflict and Stakes: The primary conflicts in this story revolve around Riggan's struggle to prove his worth as an actor, his battle with his alter ego Birdman, and his desire for validation and success. The stakes are high as Riggan's reputation, relationships, and mental well-being are on the line.

Overall Mood: Tense and introspective

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

Standout Features:

  • Innovative Idea: The use of magical realism and the exploration of the protagonist's alter ego
  • Distinctive Setting: The backstage world of a theater, providing a unique backdrop for the story
  • Genre Blend: The blending of dark comedy and introspective drama
  • Strong Performances: The opportunity for actors to showcase their talent in complex roles
  • Twists and Surprises: The unexpected events and revelations that keep the audience engaged

Comparable Scripts:

  • Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
  • Black Swan
  • Noises Off
  • All About Eve
  • The Player
  • Synecdoche, New York
  • Waiting for Guffman
  • The Dresser
  • The Artist
  • Fame
Pass/Consider/Recommend

Recommend


Explanation: The screenplay is recommended for its engaging dialogue, tense emotional tone, and effective establishment of atmosphere. However, there are areas that could be improved, such as smoother transitions between scenes, more focused and concise dialogue, and clearer objectives or conflicts for each scene. The screenplay would benefit from more development of the overall plot, the characters' backstories and motivations, and a stronger sense of emotional stakes and consequences. Notable points include the use of tension-building elements like ticking clocks and falling lights, as well as the exploration of complex relationships between characters. Overall, the screenplay has potential but requires further refinement to fully engage and captivate the audience.


USP: The Unique Selling Proposition in this screenplay is the exploration of the chaotic and frustrating nature of theater production, highlighting the clash between different personalities and the challenges faced by the characters. It delves into themes of ambition, ego, and the blurred lines between reality and performance. The script stands out from others in its genre by offering a unique and compelling look into the behind-the-scenes world of theater, appealing to audiences who are interested in the complexities of human relationships and the struggles of artistic expression. With its innovative storytelling techniques, distinctive characters, and exploration of deep emotional and psychological themes, this script offers a captivating and thought-provoking piece of storytelling.
Market Analaysis

Budget Estimate:$15-20 million

Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 25-54, fans of dark comedies and character-driven dramas

Marketability: The screenplay offers a unique blend of dark comedy and introspective drama, with compelling characters and a gripping storyline. It also explores relevant themes that resonate with a wide adult audience.

Profit Potential: Moderate to high, due to the strong appeal to a niche adult audience and potential for critical acclaim and award nominations.

Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Screenplay Score percentiles against the scripts in our Library
Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by a mix of humor, introspection, and sharp dialogue. The narrative description is concise and focused on the characters' actions and emotions. The writer's voice adds depth and authenticity to the screenplay, exploring themes of identity, validation, and the pursuit of artistic success.

Best representation: Scene 1 - Love and Chaos. This scene is the best representation because it showcases the writer's ability to blend humor and introspection in a realistic and engaging way.

Memorable Lines:

  • Birdman: What are you trying to prove? Huh? That you’re an artist? You’re not. (Scene 23)
  • Mike: You were good... (Scene 11)
  • Riggan: I don't exist. I'm not even here. I don't exist. None of this matters. (Scene 17)
  • Mike: My reputation is riding on this play. And that's... That is... A lot. Exactly. Fuck you. Yes. This doesn't work out for you, you get to go home to your studio pals and jump right back into that cultural genocide you guys are perpetrating. 'There’s a douchbag born every minute'. That was P.T. Barnum’s premise when he got rich inventing the circus. And you and your pals know nothing’s changed, and whatever toxic shit you make people are still gonna pay to see it. But, after you’re gone, I’ll still be here. I’ll still be making my living on the stage. Baring my soul. Wrestling with emotions, complex emotions. (Scene 13)
  • Riggan: I never should have video taped Sam's birth. First of all because you and Sam both look like shit in that video. But mostly because I missed the moment. I should have just been there with the two of you. Present in my own life. So I’d have it. But, I don’t. I don’t have any of it. (Scene 33)
Characters

Riggan Thomson:A 55-year-old actor struggling with his ego and insecurities

Jake:Riggan's producer, concerned about the financial implications of the play

Sam:Riggan's daughter, working at a Korean Deli

Lesley:An actress in the play, dealing with relationship issues

Laura:An actress in the play, involved in a complicated love triangle

Mike:An actor in the play, causing chaos and tension

Tabitha:A theater critic who threatens to destroy Riggan's play

Story Shape
Genres: The, unique, genres, for, the, movie, are:, Drama, Comedy

Overview Birdman is a dark comedy that follows Riggan Thomson, a washed-up actor struggling to regain relevance and prove his worth through a Broadway production. As Riggan faces challenges and conflicts within the theater world, he grapples with his own insecurities, the blurred lines between reality and performance, and the pursuit of love and validation. The story culminates in a powerful climax that explores themes of identity, artistic integrity, and the illusion of fame.

Theme The central themes of Birdman include identity and self-worth, the conflict between artistic integrity and commercial success, the importance of relationships and connection, insecurity and self-doubt, and the illusion of fame and success.

Characters The main characters in Birdman include Riggan Thomson, a middle-aged actor struggling with his relevance; Sam, Riggan's strong-willed daughter; Jake, Riggan's loyal but pragmatic producer; Mike Shiner, a famous but reckless actor; Lesley, a dedicated actress with a troubled past; Laura, Riggan's ex-wife and girlfriend; and Sylvia, Riggan's caring and practical ex-wife.

Conflict The main conflict in Birdman revolves around Riggan's internal struggles and his desire for love, validation, and artistic success. This conflict is heightened by the clash between artistic integrity and commercial success, as well as the strained relationships and personal demons faced by the characters.

Story Telling Birdman employs unique storytelling techniques, including long takes that create a sense of continuous action and a subjective camera that immerses the audience in Riggan's perspective. The script also incorporates elements of magical realism, blurring the lines between reality and fantasy.

Tone and Style Birdman combines dark comedy with introspective drama, creating a unique and thought-provoking tone. The script features sharp and witty dialogue, exploring complex themes with a mix of humor and emotional depth.

Setting The story primarily takes place in a theater, highlighting the chaotic and intense nature of the production process. The theater serves as a metaphor for Riggan's internal struggles and the blurred lines between reality and performance.

Audience Birdman appeals to audiences who appreciate dark comedies and character-driven dramas. It explores universal themes of identity, self-worth, and the pursuit of artistic success, making it relatable to a wide range of viewers.



Note: The ratings are the averages over each scene.
The Percentile is against the screenplays in our library.
Title
Grade
Percentile
Overall8.5  86
Concept 7.5  23
Plot 8.1  56
Characters 8.7  94
Dialogue 8.2 86
Emotional Impact 8.7 98
Conflict Level 8.5 84
At least one Character Changes in the scene 7.4 95
Story Moves Forward 8.1 62
High Stakes 7.8 68
Internal Goal Score 7.9 41
External Goal Score 6.7 3
Originality Score 6.7 51
Engagement Score 8.5 38
Pacing Score 8.2 31
Formatting Score 8.9 21
Structure Score 8.3 38



Genres: The, unique, genres, for, the, movie, are:, Drama, Comedy



Summary Riggan Thomson, a middle-aged actor, is preparing for a play performance while dealing with various issues. He witnesses a disastrous performance by another actor, Ralph, causing chaos and frustration. Meanwhile, Riggan's daughter, Sam, is disgusted by the inappropriate behavior of a famous actor, Mike. In the costume department, Mike's behavior continues to cause chaos as the costume designer struggles to find clothes for him. Lesley confronts Mike about his behavior, but he tries to make amends. Amidst the chaos, Laura reveals to Riggan that she is pregnant, leading to a mix of emotions and confusion. Riggan also has a conversation with his ex-wife Sylvia about his financial troubles and the importance of being a father. Riggan's frustration escalates and he confronts Mike about his behavior, which leads to a physical fight. Riggan's actions result in him being locked out of the theater and running down the street in his underwear, facing public humiliation. He encounters Ralph in the theater lobby, setting up a confrontation between the two.


Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The plot of the screenplay has potential and explores themes of identity, insecurity, and the pursuit of validation. The character arcs are well-developed, particularly Riggan's journey of self-discovery and acceptance. The tension and urgency in the scenes create a sense of suspense and keep the audience engaged. However, the repetition of certain scenes and conflicts can become tiresome and could benefit from more variety. Additionally, some of the dialogue feels repetitive and could be tightened to enhance the pacing. Overall, the story has strong elements but could benefit from further refinement.

Suggestions: 1. Consider adding more variety to the conflicts and scenes to avoid repetition and keep the story fresh. 2. Tighten the dialogue to improve pacing and eliminate any unnecessary repetition. 3. Explore additional themes or subplots to add depth and complexity to the story. 4. Consider incorporating more visual storytelling elements to enhance the cinematic experience. 5. Develop secondary characters further to provide more depth and complexity to the overall narrative. 6. Consider exploring different settings or locations to add visual interest and variety to the story.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here



Summary of Scene Level Analysis

Scene Strengths
  • Sharp and engaging dialogue, well-developed characters, effective balance of humor and drama, exploration of themes, and high stakes
  • Intense and dramatic dialogue, effective portrayal of emotions and conflicts, engaging exploration of dysfunctional love
  • Effective portrayal of chaos and frustration, strong character reactions and conflicts, surprising pregnancy reveal
  • Intense and emotionally charged dialogue, exploration of generational differences, strong character development
  • Intense emotional conflicts, powerful dialogue, and effective portrayal of character development
Scene Weaknesses
  • Low emotional impact, minimal character change
  • Some elements could be further developed to enhance the impact, character changes could be more pronounced
  • Dialogue could be more nuanced and complex
  • Some dialogue may be confusing or unclear
  • Limited exploration of other characters
Suggestions
  • Work on developing the emotional impact, ensuring that character changes are pronounced
  • Explore the theme more fully and develop dialogue that is more nuanced and impactful
  • Consider the use of physical violence and explicit sexual content in the scene, as it could be discomforting to some viewers
  • Further develop the characters' emotions and motivations, particularly in relation to the overall plot
  • Focus on delivering impactful and memorable dialogue that aligns with the theme and the individual character's emotions

Note: This is the synthesis. See scene by scene analysis here


How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library

Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.
Title
Grade
Percentile Before After
Emotional Impact 8.7  97 A Quiet Place: 8.6 The whale: 8.7
Character Changes 7.4  95 The usual suspects: 7.3 Birdman: 7.4
Characters 8.7  93 Breaking bad, episode 306: 8.6 American beauty: 8.7
Dialogue 8.2  83 Mo: 8.1 a few good men: 8.2
Conflict Level 8.5  81 Everything Everywhere All at Once: 8.2 Avatar: 8.5
Overall 8.5  80 Thor: 8.4 Inception: 8.5
High Stakes 7.8  66 Breaking bad: 7.7 Birdman: 7.8
Story Forward 8.1  58 The Shawshank Redemption: 8.0 Vice: 8.1
Plot 8.1  54 The sweet hereafter: 8.0 Vice: 8.1
Originality 6.71  50 Amadeus: 6.68 Birdman: 6.71
Internal Goal 7.94  40 Queens Gambit: 7.93 Birdman: 7.94
Structure 8.26  37 Squid Game: 8.14 Birdman: 8.26
Engagement 8.51  36 Mr Robot: 8.44 The Wolf of Wall Street: 8.51
Pacing 8.20  28 Suits: 8.19 Thor: 8.20
Concept 7.5  21 The whale: 7.4 heathers : 7.5
Formatting 8.89  19 Fear and loathing in Las Vegas: 8.86 Birdman: 8.89
External Goal 6.66  1 - Birdman: 6.66



See the full analysis by clicking the title.

1 Riggan's Meditation Introspective, Humorous 8 7 76 8 487675775 98999
2 Love and Chaos Intense, Dramatic, Serious 8 7 87 9 786978878 99889
3 Theatrical Chaos Frustration, Disaster 8 7 96 8 787989978 79998
4 Chaos and Frustration Frustration, Desperation, Humor 8 7 86 7 676988877 98998
5 Disastrous Rehearsal Intense, Frustrated, Intimidating 8 7 87 9 787989878 99998
6 Meeting Mike Shiner Sarcastic, Disgusted, Condescending 7 6 56 8 387373464 98899
7 Costume Department Chaos Humorous, Awkward, Tense 8 7 76 8 587866776 99898
8 Chaos and Revelations Frustration, Disgust, Shock, Unfazed, Excitement, Confusion, Intimacy, Humor 8 7 83 9 708978948 87898
9 Chaos in the Costume Department Chaotic, Frustrated, Disgusted, Shocked, Unfazed, Upset, Confused 8 7 86 9 687977867 88899
10 Chaos in the Costume Department Dramatic, Humorous 8 7 89 7 686987877 89887
11 Costume Chaos Chaos, Frustration, Shock, Disgust, Upset, Mix of emotions, Confusion 8 7 86 9 687887877 79998
12 Revelations and Reflections Chaotic, Frustrated, Emotional 8 7 76 9 886676769 87898
13 Costume Chaos Chaos, Frustration, Disgust, Upset, Confusion, Irony 8 7 87 9 787998878 89898
14 Chaos in the Costume Department Chaotic, Frustrated, Reflective, Vulnerable 8 7 87 9 787877878 99898
15 Revelation and Conflict Chaotic, Frustrated, Confrontational, Emotional 9 8 77 9 8879987710 109898
16 Revelations and Reflections Surreal, Introspective, Emotional 8 7 77 8 886776769 68899
17 Chaos and Revelation Chaotic, Frustrated, Shocking, Upset, Emotional 9 8 89 9 8879889710 88999
18 Chaos Backstage Chaotic, Frustrated, Heated, Confused 8 7 76 7 787998778 79898
19 Emotional Confrontation and Revelation Emotional, Intense, Chaotic 9 8 76 9 886847659 89787
20 Rooftop Revelation Chaotic, Intense, Emotional 8 7 76 9 886666779 89898
21 Revelations and Betrayal Frustration, Anger, Confusion, Sympathy, Calm 8 7 87 9 787877869 78899
22 Confrontation and Revelation Chaotic, Confrontational, Intense, Emotional 9 8 89 9 8879998710 99898
23 Riggan's Confrontation Rage, Sadness, Confusion 9 8 99 9 98610898710 89887
24 Confrontation and Doubt Intense, Emotional, Tense 9 8 96 9 98710799610 99898
25 Confrontation and Revelation Intense, Emotional 9 8 88 9 8869698710 99899
26 Confrontation and Revelation Confrontational, Emotional, Intense 9 8 90 9 9009089010 90000
27 Riggan's Public Humiliation Intense, Humorous 9 8 96 9 8879899710 89899
28 Confrontation and Revelation Intense, Confrontational, Emotional 9 8 98 9 98710889710 89899
29 Confrontation and Reflection Confrontational, Emotional, Reflective 9 8 96 9 8869499510 87898
30 Confrontation and Humiliation Confrontational, Intense, Emotional 9 8 99 9 8879999710 99898
31 Riggan's Breaking Point Intense, Emotional, Humorous 9 8 99 9 8879799710 89898
32 Confrontation and Humiliation Intense, Emotional, Confrontational 9 8 94 9 87610799510 88998
33 Confrontation and Reflection Intense, Emotional, Reflective 9 8 96 9 8869789710 88899
34 Confrontation and Revelation Intense, Emotional, Tense 9 8 97 9 9879899810 89999
35 The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance Serious, Euphoric, Awkward, Tranquil 9 8 96 9 887968979 89898
36 Breaking Point Intense, Emotional, Humiliating 9 8 96 9 8869799610 87898


Scene 1 - Riggan's Meditation
F O R Y O U R C O N S I D E R A T I O N




BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Written by
Alejandro G. Iñárritu
Nicolás Giacobone
Alexander Dinelaris, Jr.
Armando Bo
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Written by
Alejandro G. Iñárritu
Nicolás Giacobone
Alexander Dinelaris, Jr.
Armando Bo



© 2013 DINOSAUR OUT, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PORTION OF THIS SCRIPT MAY BE
PERFORMED, PUBLISHED, REPRODUCED, SOLD OR DISTRIBUTED BY ANY MEANS, OR QUOTED OR
PUBLISHED IN ANY MEDIUM, INCLUDING ANY WEB SITE, WITHOUT THE PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT
OF DINOSAUR OUT, INC. DISPOSAL OF THIS SCRIPT COPY DOES NOT ALTER ANY OF THE
RESTRICTIONS SET FORTH ABOVE.
1 BLACK 1

We hear a clock ticking.

FADE IN:

1 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - DAY 1
Close on the brilliant colors of a middle eastern rug, the
center of what seems to be a makeshift “meditation” space.

We slowly tilt up to discover the back of Riggan Thomson (55).
He is in the proper ‘Lotus’ position, dressed only in tight
white briefs and he appears to be meditating deeply. And if all
this seems a little odd, it becomes all the more so when you
notice that he is levitating almost two feet above the floor.
His breath is calm and measured... in and out... in and out.

MAN (V.O.)
How did we end up here?
(Beat.)
This place is a fucking dump.

We begin to slowly move toward Riggan's back while his measure
breathing continues. We see a clock on the wall, ticking.

MAN (V.O.)
Smells like balls.

A slight twitch in Riggan's neck.

MAN (V.O.)
We don't belong in this shithole.

A Skype call shatters the silence. Close on his back, we follow
Riggan as he walks over to the computer and answers the call.
On the computer screen appears Sam (21), in a pair of Levi's
and a Led Zeppelin T-shirt. She has simple and striking good
looks, with an edge in her voice and behind her eyes. She
stands in a Korean Deli among the flowers, talking to Riggan
through her iPhone.

1A 1A

The Korean Store owner (50) stands in the background screaming
at her the whole time.

RIGGAN
Sam, I can't--



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 2.

SAM
Dad? What kind of--
(Turning to Korean.)
SHUT UP!!!
(Back to screen.)
What kind of flowers did you say you
wanted?

RIGGAN
Alchemillas. Or something soothing that
smells nice. Listen I can’t--
SAM
It all smells like fucking Kimchi!

RIGGAN
Then whatever looks nice. Anything but
roses. No roses.

KOREAN
Flowers don't need you touch! They need you
buy!!!

SAM
(Close into the screen.)
I hate this job.

And the Skype call is over. Riggan closes the laptop and leans
forward trying to regain his calm. His reflection appears in
the mirror, and for the first time we see his face. He has a
dark goatee and his hair looks strangely abundant. There is a
piece of paper on the mirror with the handwritten phrase “A
thing is a thing, not what it is said of that thing.”

ANNIE ON SPEAKERS
Riggan, they’re starting scene
five. We need you on stage.

RIGGAN
Shit...
Riggan throws on a sweater and stumbles into his slacks. He
hurries out...

2 INT. HALLWAYS - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 2

...through the narrow corridors of the theater. There is a lot
of activity as various workers and stage hands appear and
disappear carrying equipment and scenery. As Riggan descends the
stairs, a Stage Hand· passes by in the opposite direction.

STAGE HAND·
Mr. Thomson.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 3.

RIGGAN
Steve.

STAGE HAND·
It’s Daniel.

RIGGAN
(Already passed.)
Okay.

Riggan continues on until he arrives backstage. He runs into
Jake (42) his producer and friend.

JAKE
How’s it going, buddy.

RIGGAN
Great. It’d be even better if I
could get Ralph to stop acting like
he’s in an educational video for
syphilis...
The camera moves off of them and onto...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan Thomson, a middle-aged actor, is seen meditating in his dressing room before a performance. He receives a Skype call from his daughter, Sam, who works at a Korean Deli. They have a brief conversation about flowers. Riggan then rushes to the stage for scene five of the play. On his way, he complains about another actor and meets his producer, Jake.
Strengths
  • Witty dialogue
  • Unique concepts
  • Establishing character relationships
Weaknesses
  • Low emotional impact
  • Minimal character change

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively introduces the main character, establishes his relationship with his daughter, and sets up the conflict with another actor. The dialogue is witty and humorous, adding entertainment value to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of a levitating meditation and a Skype call in a theater is unique and intriguing. It adds an element of surrealism to the scene.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene revolves around Riggan preparing for his performance and dealing with personal and professional issues. It sets up the conflicts and tensions that will drive the story forward.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting of a theater and the struggles of an actor are familiar, the levitating protagonist adds a unique and unexpected element. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their personalities shine through the dialogue. Riggan is shown as a slightly eccentric but relatable protagonist, and Sam is portrayed as a strong-willed and sassy young woman.

Character Changes: 4

There is minimal character change in the scene, as it primarily serves to establish the characters and their relationships. However, Riggan's frustration with the other actor hints at potential character growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to regain his calm and focus before going on stage. This reflects his deeper need for validation and success as an actor.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to go on stage and perform scene five. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing as an actor in a theater production.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is relatively low, with minor tensions between Riggan and the Korean Store owner, as well as Riggan's frustration with another actor. However, it sets up the potential for higher conflicts in the future.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderate. The protagonist faces challenges and obstacles in the form of Ralph's behavior and the chaotic theater environment.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, with the focus on personal and professional frustrations. However, the success of Riggan's performance and his relationship with his daughter are at stake.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the main character, establishing conflicts, and setting up the upcoming performance. It provides necessary exposition and sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the levitating protagonist and the unexpected humor in the dialogue. The audience doesn't know how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 5

The emotional impact of the scene is relatively low, with a focus on humor and light-heartedness. However, there is a hint of underlying emotional tension between Riggan and his daughter.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and entertaining. It reveals the characters' personalities and establishes their relationships.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it introduces an intriguing and unexpected situation with the levitating protagonist. The witty dialogue and fast-paced action keep the audience interested.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and excitement. The fast-paced action and quick dialogue keep the scene moving forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, and dialogue in the correct format.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It starts with a description of the setting, introduces the protagonist, and sets up the conflict and goals.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a clock ticking, which creates a sense of urgency and sets the tone for the rest of the scene. However, the clock is not mentioned again, and it feels like a missed opportunity to use it to build tension.
  • The introduction of Riggan's levitation is intriguing, but it is not explained or explored further in this scene. It feels like a random detail that doesn't serve a purpose.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Sam feels forced and unnatural. It's unclear why they are arguing about flowers, and the Korean Deli owner's constant yelling in the background is distracting.
  • The interaction between Riggan and the Stage Hand is confusing and doesn't add anything to the scene.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Jake is more natural and helps establish their relationship, but the line about Ralph acting like he's in an educational video for syphilis feels out of place and jarring.
  • Overall, the scene lacks a clear conflict or purpose. It feels like a series of random events that don't add up to anything significant.
  • The visual elements, such as the clock and the piece of paper on the mirror, feel underutilized and could be used to add more depth and meaning to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider using the levitation as a metaphor or symbol for Riggan's state of mind or the themes of the screenplay.
  • Simplify the dialogue between Riggan and Sam and make their conflict more clear and meaningful.
  • Cut the interaction with the Stage Hand and focus on the more important relationships in the scene.
  • Reconsider the line about Ralph and find a more natural way to establish the conflict between Riggan and his co-star.
  • Add a clear goal or conflict for Riggan to overcome in this scene, such as stage fright or a disagreement with Jake.
  • Use the visual elements to add more depth and meaning to the scene, such as having the piece of paper on the mirror relate to Riggan's character arc.



Scene 2 - Love and Chaos
3 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 3
...the stage. Suddenly we are in the midst of an Americana style
kitchen.

Around the kitchen table sit Lesley (35), plain and no nonsense,
her simple hairstyle and makeup can't hide how attractive she
is. Laura (35), dark, exotic, the kind of woman who makes every
person she meets feel like she's seducing them. And Ralph (40),
slightly handsome, slightly balding, slightly invisible.

A half empty bottle of gin on the table, they drink from
highball glasses as they chat...

LESLEY
He loved me.

RALPH
Yeah. He loved her so much he tried
to kill her.

LAURA
He tried to kill you?

LESLEY
No. (A beat.) Okay, well, he did
beat me up one night. He dragged me
around the living room by my
ankles, yelling "I love you, I love
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 4.
LESLEY (CONT'D)
you, bitch." What do you do with a
love like that?

RALPH
How is that-- That is not love and you know
it. Why do you insist on calling it--

LESLEY
You can say what you want, but I know what
it was.
RALPH
What about you, Nick? Does that sound like
love to you?

Riggan arrives at the table and sits.

RIGGAN
Sorry I’m late.
(Beat. In character.)
I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't
know the man. I've only heard his name
mentioned in passing. You'd have to
know the particulars. But I think what
you're saying is that love is absolute.

RALPH
Yeah. The kind of love I'm talking about
is... The kind of love I'm talking about,
you don't try and kill people.

LESLEY
(Sadly.)
It was love, Mel. To Eddie, it was. I don't
care what anybody says. He was ready to die
for it.

RALPH
Ask her what he did after she left him.

LESLEY
He shot himself in the mouth. But he
screwed that up, too. Poor Ed.

RALPH
Poor Ed, my ass. The guy was dangerous.

LAURA
How'd he screw it up if he shot himself in
the mouth?

RALPH
(By the numbers.)
He used to carry this twenty-two. We lived
like fugitives those days. I never knew--
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 5.

RIGGAN
(Breaking character to direct.
Exasperated.)
Okay. Fugitives are on the run, Ralph. How
many times do I have to-- Fugitives are
scared. Give me more of that.

Ralph nods. He takes a breath and dives in once again...

RALPH
(The same but louder.)
We lived like fugitives those days...

Extremely frustrated, Riggan stares out into the auditorium.
From his POV we see Jake who is now sitting in the third row.
His head buried in his hands, tortured by Ralph’s performance.
Riggan turns back to Ralph.

RALPH (CONT'D)
...I never knew if he was going to come out
of the bushes or from behind a car and just
start shooting.

Riggan watches Ralph act and sees his whole production headed
down the drain. Ralph is just that bad.

RALPH (CONT’D)
The man was crazy. He was capable of
anything.

The actors all wait for a cue from Riggan, who is now staring
up into the lights above the stage. Laura finally picks up
Riggan’s cue.

LAURA
Christ. What a nightmare...

RALPH
He used to call me at the hospital and
say...
(Over the top.)
"Son of a bitch. Your days are numbered."

Silence. Ralph looks over to Riggan.

RALPH (CONT'D)
Too much? Little bit? I just wanted to give
you a range, so you could--

And with that a light comes barreling down from it's perch and
crashes into Ralph's head, making him hit the floor like a rag
doll. Silence.

LAURA
Holy shit.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 6.

Lesley and Annie (35), the Stage Manager, run over to Ralph
who is out cold. Not knowing what to do, they stare at him.

LESLEY
Is he breathing?

Jake runs toward the stage.

JAKE
Someone call 911!
Riggan slowly backs away from the chaos.

LAURA
Is that blood coming out of his
ear?

JAKE
(To Riggan.)
Where are you going?
LESLEY
Okay, he’s breathing. What did he
have for lunch?

LAURA
Did anyone call for help?

ANNIE
(Clapping.)
Wake up! Wake up!

Two crew members try to help Ralph.

CREW MEMBER
Grab his legs. I got the top.

JAKE
Don't move him! Wait for the ambulance.
(Calling out.)
For the love of God! I could get a black
audience in this theater faster than a
doctor!

Riggan heads off the stage, and Jake chases after him. We
follow them as...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the midst of a play rehearsal, Riggan Thomson witnesses a disastrous performance by Ralph, one of the actors. As chaos ensues, Riggan becomes increasingly frustrated and realizes that his production is in jeopardy.
Strengths
  • Intense and dramatic dialogue
  • Effective portrayal of emotions and conflicts
  • Engaging exploration of dysfunctional love
Weaknesses
  • Some elements could be further developed to enhance the impact
  • Character changes could be more pronounced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively captures the intensity and frustration of the characters, and the dialogue is engaging. However, there are some moments that could be improved to enhance the overall impact.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of exploring dysfunctional love and the chaos within a theater production is interesting and engaging. However, there are some elements that could be further developed to enhance the concept.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the disastrous performance of Ralph and the potential consequences for the production. It effectively creates tension and conflict.

Originality: 7

This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its exploration of the concept of love and the conflicting perspectives on it. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and provide fresh insights into the complexities of human relationships.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their emotions and conflicts are portrayed effectively. Their interactions and dialogue drive the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are some hints of character changes, such as Riggan's increasing frustration and realization of the production's jeopardy, it could be further developed to have a stronger impact.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand and come to terms with the concept of love. They are grappling with the idea of what love truly means and whether the actions of a person who claims to love someone can be justified.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that they are trying to navigate the conversation and maintain control over the situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters is intense and drives the scene forward. The chaos and tension within the theater production add to the conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the characters have conflicting beliefs and engage in heated arguments. The audience is unsure of how the conflict will be resolved and is kept on edge.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the disastrous performance threatens the success of the production and the reputation of the characters involved. The chaos and tension add to the sense of high stakes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the potential consequences for the production and Riggan's increasing frustration. It sets up further conflicts and challenges for the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it challenges the audience's expectations of what love should be. The conflicting perspectives on love and the unexpected turn of events with Ralph being hit by a light add an element of surprise to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the differing perspectives on love. Lesley believes that the abusive actions of her partner were a form of love, while Ralph and Riggan argue that true love does not involve violence or harm. This conflict challenges Lesley's beliefs and forces her to question her understanding of love.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including sadness, frustration, and tension. The intense performances and dialogue contribute to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is intense, dramatic, and reveals the complex emotions and relationships between the characters. It effectively drives the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a thought-provoking philosophical conflict and creates tension through the characters' dialogue and actions. The audience is drawn into the emotional struggles of the characters and is eager to see how the conflict will be resolved.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing for moments of tension and reflection. The dialogue exchanges are well-paced, giving the audience time to absorb the emotions and ideas being presented.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, introduces the characters, and progresses through a series of dialogue exchanges that build tension and reveal the philosophical conflict.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clear direction and purpose. It is unclear why the audience is watching this conversation about love and how it relates to the play Riggan is in.
  • The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, particularly in the way the characters talk about love. It is difficult to believe that these characters would have this conversation in this way.
  • The characters are not well-developed and their interactions feel superficial. It is unclear why they are drinking gin and having this conversation in the first place.
  • The visual elements of the scene are not well-described, making it difficult for the reader to imagine the setting and actions.
  • The conflict that arises with Ralph's bad acting feels contrived and does not add to the overall plot or character development.
  • The scene ends abruptly and without resolution, leaving the reader unsure of what the purpose of the scene was in the first place.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the purpose of the scene and how it relates to the overall plot and character development.
  • Develop the characters more fully and make their interactions feel more natural and believable.
  • Provide more detail about the setting and actions to help the reader imagine the scene more vividly.
  • Consider removing the conflict with Ralph's bad acting or finding a way to make it more meaningful to the overall story.
  • Provide a clearer resolution to the scene to give it a sense of closure and purpose.



Scene 3 - Theatrical Chaos
4 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 4

...they walk through the corridor.

JAKE
Where are you going? We’ll have the
understudy ready to rehearse in five--
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 7.

RIGGAN
Forget the understudy. We have to postpone
the preview.

JAKE
What are you-- It’s a full house. We would
have to refund all the--

RIGGAN
Then do it.
A crew member· passes in the opposite direction.

CREW MEMBER·
How’s Ralph?

RIGGAN
He’ll be fine.

JAKE
Wait. Wait. Fuck. Wait.
RIGGAN
Listen to me. It was going to be a
disaster. That guy’s the worst actor I've
ever seen. The blood coming out of his ear
was the most honest thing he's done so far.

JAKE
He's not that bad.

Riggan stops in his tracks and stares at Jake.

JAKE (CONT'D)
Okay, he's fucking horrible. But--

Riggan starts walking again.

JAKE (CONT’D)
You have the press in your dressing
room in a few hours. How are we--
RIGGAN
I'll make something up.

Two Technicians· hurry up in the opposite direction.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Jake. This happened for a reason. It wasn't
an accident.

JAKE
What do you mean?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 8.

RIGGAN
I-- (A beat.) I made it happen.

JAKE
Oh. Okay.
(Beat.)
Are you drunk?

RIGGAN
Find me an actor. A good actor.
Philip Seymour Hoffman...
JAKE
He’s doing the third Hunger Games.

RIGGAN
Michael Fassbender?

JAKE
Doing the prequel to the X-Men
prequel.
They arrive at Riggan's dressing room.

RIGGAN
What’s his name? Jeremy Renner...

JAKE
Who?

RIGGAN
The... the Hurt Locker guy.

JAKE
Yeah. He’s an Avenger.

RIGGAN
(With disgust.)
Fuck. They put him in a cape, too?
(A beat.) Look, I don’t care. Find
me someone.
Riggan enters...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the midst of a play rehearsal, Riggan Thomson witnesses a disastrous performance by Ralph, one of the actors. As chaos ensues, Riggan becomes increasingly frustrated and realizes that his production is in jeopardy.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of frustration and chaos
  • Strong conflict and tension
Weaknesses
  • Dialogue could be more nuanced and complex

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the frustration and chaos faced by Riggan, creating tension and anticipation for the future of the production.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of a struggling actor facing challenges in a theater production is engaging and relatable.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the disastrous performance and its impact on Riggan and the production, creating a sense of urgency and conflict.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a struggling theater production and the need to find a replacement actor is a familiar trope, the specific dialogue and character interactions bring a fresh and humorous approach to the scenario. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly Riggan and Jake, are well-developed and their frustrations and motivations are clearly portrayed.

Character Changes: 7

Riggan experiences a shift in his perspective and determination as he realizes the challenges he faces.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find a solution to the problem of the understudy's performance. This reflects his desire for the play to be successful and his fear of failure.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to postpone the preview of the play. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with the understudy's poor performance and the potential consequences of refunding tickets.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with Riggan realizing the jeopardy of his production and facing challenges in finding a replacement actor.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces challenges and obstacles in finding a replacement actor and dealing with the consequences of postponing the preview. The audience is unsure of how the situation will be resolved.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the success of the production and Riggan's career are at risk.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a major obstacle and raising the stakes for the protagonist.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the audience doesn't know how the protagonist will solve the problem of finding a replacement actor. The dialogue and the characters' reactions add an element of surprise.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response, particularly frustration and anticipation.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the frustration and urgency of the situation, but could benefit from more depth and complexity.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a problem and creates a sense of urgency. The witty dialogue and the characters' reactions keep the audience interested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and keeping the dialogue and actions moving at a fast pace. This creates tension and holds the audience's attention.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses standard scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot and then focuses on the dialogue between the characters. The scene has a clear beginning, middle, and end.


Critique
  • The dialogue in this scene feels a bit on-the-nose and exposition-heavy. It might benefit from more subtext and nuance.
  • The conflict between Riggan and Jake could be heightened by giving them more opposing goals or desires.
  • The visual elements in this scene are minimal and could be enhanced to create a more dynamic and engaging scene.
  • The emotional tone of the scene could be more varied and complex, rather than just tense and urgent throughout.
  • The conversation between Riggan and Jake could benefit from more active listening and reacting, rather than just delivering lines back and forth.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more physical action or movement to the scene to make it more visually interesting.
  • Try to find ways to reveal character and backstory through subtext and non-verbal cues, rather than just having characters state their thoughts and feelings.
  • Experiment with different emotional tones throughout the scene to create more variety and depth.
  • Consider adding more conflict or tension to the scene by giving Riggan and Jake more opposing goals or desires.
  • Try to make the dialogue more natural and conversational, with more active listening and reacting between the characters.



Scene 4 - Chaos and Frustration
5 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 5

...his dressing room and tries to shut the door. Jake, still in
the corridor, stops it with his foot.

JAKE
(Sticking his head in.)
Ralph'll sue us. He'll sue us. And he's got
a case.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 9.

Riggan releases the door.

RIGGAN
Then make him go away.

JAKE
How do you suggest I do that?

RIGGAN
You're my lawyer, my producer and
my oldest friend. We are going to
make this work. Now just get out
there and do what you were born to
do.

JAKE
What's that?

RIGGAN
I have no idea. But I have faith.
Now go away from me.
JAKE
Do you think we should--

Riggan slams the door shut on Jake. A beat. On a television, a
segment of E! News. A busty blond, with an exaggerated smile,
hosts.

BLOND WOMAN
...and when we come back, an exclusive
interview with Robert Downey Jr., who tells
us about the billion-dollar Iron Man
franchise. The talented actor invited us
onto the set of Iron Man 3...

Riggan slams the tv off, his mind racing. He sits on a chair.

MAN (V.O.)
That clown doesn’t have half your talent
and he’s making a fortune in that Tin Man
get up.

Riggan stares into the mirror, in the reflection he catches
sight of a poster from a movie called "Birdman 3". The
superhero, Birdman (a younger Riggan in a bird costume), wings
widely spread, stares directly back at him. A hand written
note on the top of the poster reads: "Thomson, break a wing!
From the boys at Local 1." Riggan tries to calm himself with a
mantra...

RIGGAN
"Breathing in, I embrace my anger.
Breathing out, I smile to it."

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 10.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Embrace it. Kiss it. Turn it around and
fuck it in the--

A knock on the door behind him.

RIGGAN
Not now!

Laura opens the door and sticks her head in.
LAURA
Can I come in?

RIGGAN
No.

LAURA
Okay. Two words. Shia La Beouf.

RIGGAN
That's three words.

LAURA
It's two.

RIGGAN
Get out.

LAURA
I love you.

She closes the door. Riggan tries to calm himself down, but
Laura opens the door again.

LAURA (CONT'D)
I take it we’re not going to dinner
anymore?

RIGGAN
I don’t have an actor.
LAURA
I don’t have a life.

RIGGAN
Laura...

LAURA
Fine. Whatever.
(Goes to leave but stops.)
You remember at Joan's when you
asked me to come do a Broadway play
with you? You said it would be
fun...
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 11.

RIGGAN
Go away.

LAURA
So far? No fun.

Riggan closes the door and looks at the Birdman poster.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Fun? You know what would be fun? Getting
the fuck out of here before we humiliate
ourselves. That would be fun.

Riggan looks at himself in the mirror and begins to pull at
his hair. As it comes off his head, we discover it was a wig.
He turns away from the mirror, trying desperately to stay
calm. Something catches his eye: a vase of roses on the end
of the table. A card in them says, "They didn't have the
whatever you wanted - Sam". Enraged, Riggan focuses on the
vase. It begins to shift. Then, with a surge of anger,
without ever touching it, he sends it crashing against the
wall on the other side of the room.

The camera pans over the roses scattered across the floor. It
hovers over the carpet and around the perimeter of the room,
until it finally settles on Riggan, now dressed in a casual
blazer.

A5 A5

It is later the same day. He is sitting on the sofa and on three
chairs in front of him are three journalists:

Gabriel, a geeky theatre journalist, wearing thick glasses and
a thin tie. Clara, a reporter from an entertainment blog. And
Han, a polite, obese Japanese journalist, who sits next to his
translator, another Japanese guy.

GABRIEL
Why does somebody go from playing the lead
in a comic book franchise to adapting
Raymond Carver for the stage?

Riggan tries to remain calm.

GABRIEL (CONT’D)
I mean, as you're probably aware, Barthes
said, “The cultural work done in the past
by gods and epic sagas is now done by
laundry detergent commercials and comic
strip characters.” It's a big leap you've
taken...

Riggan shifts nervously.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 12.

RIGGAN
Well... Absolutely. As you said... that
Barthes said... Birdman, like Icarus...

CLARA
Hang on. Who's this Barthes guy? Which
Birdman was he in?

GABRIEL
Roland Barthes was a French philosopher,
who--
CLARA
Oh. Okay. Sure. Now, is it true you’ve been
injecting yourself with semen from baby
pigs?

RIGGAN
What?

CLARA
As a method of facial rejuvenation.

RIGGAN
Who told you that?

CLARA
It was tweeted by... (checks her notes)
@prostatewhispers.

RIGGAN
It's a lie.

CLARA
I know. But did you do it?

RIGGAN
No!

GABRIEL
Are you afraid at all that people will say
you're doing this play to battle the
impression that you're a washed-up super
hero?

RIGGAN
No. I’m not. And that’s exactly why
20 years ago I refused to do
Birdman 4.

HAN
Birdman 4??? You do Birdman 4???

Jake opens the door and the camera pans to him.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 13.

JAKE
Okay. That's enough for today.
Thank you for coming. We’re
expecting some great pieces from
you...

Riggan stares at the Birdman poster.

JAKE (CONT’D)
Publicity guys are trying to get
you a Times feature.
Riggan stands up and pulls the Birdman poster off of the
wall.

JAKE (CONT’D)
So, How’d it-- Whoa. If I were you
I wouldn’t do that.

RIGGAN
I don’t want to look at it anymore.
JAKE
That was a present from the crew.
Don’t fuck with those guys, they’re
union.

RIGGAN
I don’t care.

Riggan leaves the poster on the floor, facing the wall, and
walks to the window. He opens it. We can hear distant drums
coming from the street.

JAKE
So... How'd it go?

RIGGAN
Great.

JAKE
(Worried.)
Did they ask about Ralph?

RIGGAN
Nope.

JAKE
Good. He did it, you know? The
motherfucker threatened to sue us.
Didn’t even wait to get out of the
hospital.

RIGGAN
And, what did you say?
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 14.

JAKE
What’d I say? I said, "You
motherfucker. You’re threatening
me? ME? I swear to god, you fuck, I
so much as get a letter from a
lawyer, the press’ll get the
pictures we got off your computer.”

RIGGAN
What pictures?
JAKE
The guy has a thing for nuns... in
diapers. What do you care? You
shouldn’t have any knowledge about
it anyway. The important thing is
that I made him go away.

RIGGAN
Right. That's great.
JAKE
Yeah, it’s fantastic. One problem.
We don't have an actor. And if we
cancel the first preview the press
will smell the blood. We can't
afford to lose any more money. At
all.

RIGGAN
What do you want me to do?

JAKE
We pay an understudy, let’s use the
understudy.

RIGGAN
No.

JAKE
No? Riggan, listen to me. Our dream actor
is not going to knock on that door and
say: "Hey fellas, when do we start?"

B5 B5

There is a knock at the door. Leslie peeks in.

LESLIE
Can I talk to you for a second?

RIGGAN
Yeah. What’s up?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 15.

LESLIE
Did you find another actor?

RIGGAN
No.

LESLIE
Okay. Well... Mike's available.

RIGGAN
He is?
JAKE
Mike who?

RIGGAN
I thought he was doing--

LESLIE
He was. He quit. Or got fired.
JAKE
Mike who?

RIGGAN
Which one? Quit or fired?

LESLIE
With Mike it's usually both.

JAKE
Mike Fucking Who?

LESLIE
Shiner.

JAKE
Yes!

RIGGAN
Jake...
JAKE
Yes! How do you know Mike Shiner?

LESLIE
We share a vagina.

RIGGAN
You think he'd want to do it?

LESLIE
Yeah.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 16.

JAKE
How do you know?

LESLIE
Because he said he'd want to do it.

JAKE
Yes!

RIGGAN
Jake. Hang on a minute.
JAKE
(to Riggan)
Ask me if he sells tickets.

RIGGAN
Does he sell tickets?

JAKE
A shitload of tickets. Now ask me if the
critics like him?

RIGGAN
Do they like him?

JAKE
They want to spooge on him.

RIGGAN
(Indicating Lesley.)
Hey.

JAKE
Leslie...

LESLIE
Right on his face.

JAKE
Everything for a reason, right?
RIGGAN
You think he'll be able to come tonight?

LESLEY
I can call him and find out.

Riggan gives Jake a look.

JAKE
I'll call his agent.

Jake charges out of the room. The camera follows him into...
10/29/14 / 17.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan Thomson witnesses a disastrous performance by Ralph during a play rehearsal. Chaos ensues and Riggan becomes increasingly frustrated as he realizes that his production is in jeopardy.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Effective portrayal of chaos and frustration
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be confusing or unclear

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively portrays the chaos and frustration faced by Riggan, and the humor adds an entertaining element.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of a struggling actor trying to produce a play while dealing with various challenges is interesting and relatable.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Riggan faces obstacles and realizes the jeopardy of his production.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and conflicts are familiar in the context of a theater-based story, the specific situations and dialogue are unique. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are well-developed and their personalities shine through their dialogue and actions.

Character Changes: 6

Riggan experiences a shift in his mindset as he realizes the jeopardy of his production.

Internal Goal: 7

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to calm himself down and stay focused amidst the chaos and stress of the theater world. This reflects his deeper need for validation and success, as well as his fear of failure and irrelevance.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find an actor to replace the one who quit or got fired. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing of putting on a successful play and avoiding negative press.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Riggan and the disastrous performance by Ralph creates tension and drives the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong because the protagonist faces challenges and conflicts from multiple characters, such as Jake and Laura. The audience is unsure of how these conflicts will be resolved.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Riggan's production is in jeopardy and he must find a solution to save it.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges faced by Riggan and introducing the possibility of using Mike Shiner as an understudy.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements, such as the protagonist's anger and the sudden appearance of an actor who can replace the one who quit. These elements keep the audience guessing about what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The frustration and desperation felt by Riggan evoke empathy from the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty and humorous, adding depth to the characters and enhancing the overall tone of the scene.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it presents a series of conflicts and challenges for the protagonist, as well as witty and humorous dialogue. The tension and humor keep the audience interested in the outcome of the scene.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective because it balances moments of tension and conflict with moments of humor and reflection. The rhythm of the dialogue and the concise narrative description contribute to the overall pacing.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, followed by dialogue and character actions. The scene has a clear beginning, middle, and end.


Critique
  • The scene starts off with a strong sense of urgency and tension, which is effective in grabbing the audience's attention.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Jake is engaging and reveals their conflicting priorities and motivations.
  • The introduction of the Birdman poster and Riggan's interaction with it adds depth to his character and hints at his internal struggles.
  • The scene effectively sets up the need for a new actor and creates anticipation for the introduction of Mike Shiner.
  • The inclusion of the journalists at the end of the scene adds an interesting dynamic and sets up future conflicts and challenges for Riggan.
  • The use of visual elements, such as the falling vase and Riggan pulling off his wig, adds visual interest and enhances the emotional impact of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more physical actions or gestures to enhance the tension and urgency of the scene.
  • Explore opportunities for more subtext and hidden motivations in the dialogue between Riggan and Jake.
  • Consider adding more visual cues or symbolism to further explore Riggan's internal struggles and conflicts.
  • Ensure that the introduction of the journalists at the end of the scene is seamlessly integrated and does not feel forced or abrupt.
  • Consider adding more moments of silence or pauses to allow the audience to absorb the emotional impact of the scene.



Scene 5 - Disastrous Rehearsal
6 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 6

...the hallway and as Jake makes a left turn, Annie enters from
the right.

JAKE
Annie, turn the work lights on and get me a
fresh copy of the script. We’re gonna have
a “put in” tonight.

ANNIE
Who?
JAKE
You’ll find out...

Jake disappears down the hall and we follow Annie through the
theater and onto...

7 INT. STAGE - THEATER - EVENING 7
...the stage, where she turns some of the stage work lights on.
We pan along the stage until we find Riggan, wearing the same
clothes as before, scanning the empty auditorium.

MIKE (O.S.)
Intimidating. Isn't it?

Riggan sees Mike Shiner (39) coming down the aisle, slovenly
dressed with mussed hair and intense eyes.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Do you have any idea who walked these
boards before you?
(Beat.)
Geraldine Page, Marlon Brando,
Helen Hayes, Jason Robards... And
now you. Riggan Thomson.

Riggan, trying to hide the intimidation.

RIGGAN
Thanks for coming on such short notice,
Mike. I appreciate it.

MIKE
Hey. This is what we do.
(Indicates a script.)
So, you wrote this adaptation?

RIGGAN
I did.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 18.

MIKE
And you're directing the adaptation and
starring...

RIGGAN
I am.

MIKE
Ambitious.

RIGGAN
Thank you.

A sly smile from Mike. He leaps onto the stage.

MIKE
Why don't we do a bit of it?

RIGGAN
Hey, I wasn't expecting you to--
MIKE
First preview is tomorrow, right?

RIGGAN
Yeah, but you can go on with the script
until you feel comfortable--

MIKE
Let's just do some of it.

Riggan tries to hide his excitement. He grabs the script from a
nearby table and walks it over to Mike.

RIGGAN
Take a look at page twenty--

MIKE
Yeah. I don't need that.

RIGGAN
What?

MIKE
I don't need the script. Just give me a
cue.

RIGGAN
What are you talking about?

MIKE
Feed me a line.

RIGGAN
I don’t-- What?
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 19.

MIKE
Feed. Me. A line.

Riggan drops the script and begins the scene.

RIGGAN
“I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't
know the man. I've only heard his name
mentioned in passing. I wouldn't know.
You'd have to know the particulars. But
I think what you're saying is that love
is absolute.”

Mike stares at Riggan, hyper-focused.

MIKE
(Ruminating.)
Am I saying that love is absolute?
(He transforms.)
"Yeah. The kind of love I'm talking about
is. The kind of love I'm talking about you--
"
(An intense pause.)
Well, you don't try to kill people.

Riggan is transfixed, and almost immediately intimidated.

RIGGAN
How do you know the lines?

MIKE
I have a thing, a whatever, a gift.
(A beat.) Come on, I helped Lesley get
off book. Hey, give me that cue again.

RIGGAN
"I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't
know the man. I've only heard his name
mentioned in passing. I wouldn't know.
You'd have to know the particulars. But
I think what you're saying is--”
MIKE
Okay, can I-- Do you mind if I--

RIGGAN
No, go ahead.

MIKE
Follow me. He says, "I'm the wrong
person to ask." What's his intention?
Is he fed up with the topic?
Deflecting? Guilt about his wife maybe?
Then four sentences all say the same
thing... "I didn't even know the man."
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 20.
MIKE (CONT'D)
"I've only heard his name mentioned in
passing." “I wouldn't know.” "You'd
have to know the particulars." First of
all, particulars? What are you, my
grandmother? But the point is, YOU
DON'T KNOW THE GUY, WE FUCKING GET IT.
Make it one line. "I didn't even know
the guy." Right? ...

RIGGAN
You pretty much know my lines too, huh?
MIKE
Can we-- Are we doing something here? Come
on let's go. Cut it down, give it to me
again.

RIGGAN
"I'm the wrong person to ask--"

MIKE
Oh, right, sorry, you see? "I'm the wrong
person to ask?" That's another fuck you.
"Don't put me on the spot. Don't make me
self conscious about my marriage when my
wife is sitting right here..." See? Give
it to me. Give me a good fuck you. Come
on...

RIGGAN
Okay, let me--

MIKE
Come on. Give it to me right now. Fuck me.
Right now. Right here. Let's do it.

RIGGAN
Okay, yeah...

MIKE
DO IT!
RIGGAN
(Jumps in w/out thinking.)
"Hey. I'm the wrong person to ask, okay? I
didn't even know the guy. So what's your
point?"

MIKE
"What's my point?"

RIGGAN
"What's your point? What are you saying?
Spit it out. You're saying, what? That love
is an absolute?"
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 21.

MIKE
(Exploding.)
"Yeah! Alright? The kind of love I'm
talking about is absolute. The kind of love
I'm talking about you--
(A painful memory.)
Well, you don't try to kill people.

Riggan stands silently, his heart pounding.

MIKE (CONT’D)
So what do you think, boss? Do I have a
job?

Riggan calls over to the wings.

RIGGAN
What do you think?

Mike turns to see Sam, who has been there for a bit.
SAM
Larry needs to see him for a fitting.

MIKE
I'm gonna take that as a yes.
(Walking to Sam.)
And you are...?

RIGGAN
That's my daughter, Sam.

MIKE
Right. Yeah. I can see it around the... (A
beat) She doesn't look anything like you.
(To Sam.)
And your job is...?

RIGGAN
She's my assistant.
MIKE
Your assistant...
(To Sam.)
And can you speak?

SAM
Yup. I can even 'sit', 'stay' or 'roll
over' if you have any treats.

RIGGAN
Welcome aboard, Mike.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 22.

MIKE
(Mock saluting.)
Thank you, Captain.

We follow Mike and Sam off as they...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary During a play rehearsal, Riggan Thomson witnesses a disastrous performance by Ralph. Chaos ensues and Riggan becomes increasingly frustrated as he realizes that his production is in jeopardy.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Strong character interactions
  • Building tension
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of other characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the frustration and tension faced by Riggan as he witnesses the disastrous performance. The dialogue between Riggan and Mike is intense and engaging. The introduction of Sam adds a new dynamic to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of a struggling actor dealing with a disastrous rehearsal is compelling and relatable.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the disastrous performance and its impact on Riggan's production.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting of a theater and the interactions between actors are familiar elements in screenplays, the specific dialogue and character dynamics in this scene feel fresh and authentic. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Riggan and Mike are well-developed and their interactions drive the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Riggan experiences a shift in his perception of Mike's talent and becomes more open to his involvement in the production.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to impress Mike and gain his approval. This reflects Riggan's deeper need for validation and recognition as an actor and artist.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to have a successful rehearsal for the upcoming play. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges Riggan is facing as he prepares for the first preview.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Riggan and Mike, as well as the chaos of the disastrous performance, creates a high level of tension in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, as Riggan is faced with the challenge of impressing Mike and gaining his approval. The audience is unsure of how this interaction will go and whether Riggan will be successful in his rehearsal. The opposition adds tension and conflict to the scene.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident as Riggan realizes that his production is in jeopardy due to the disastrous rehearsal.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges faced by Riggan and the potential impact on his production.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected interactions and conflicts between the characters. The audience is unsure of how Riggan and Mike's rehearsal will go and what their dynamic will be like. The scene keeps the audience guessing and interested in the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Riggan's desire for artistic integrity and Mike's more pragmatic approach to acting. This challenges Riggan's beliefs and values as he is forced to confront the idea that success in the theater may require compromising his artistic vision.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response through the frustration and tension experienced by Riggan.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue between Riggan and Mike is intense, engaging, and reveals their personalities and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it introduces conflict and tension between the characters, creates a sense of anticipation for the upcoming play, and showcases the unique dynamics of the theater world. The witty and sharp dialogue keeps the audience interested and invested in the characters' goals and relationships.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and tension. The dialogue is fast-paced and the scene moves quickly between different locations and interactions. This keeps the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. The dialogue is properly formatted with character names and dialogue tags, and the scene description is concise and provides clear visual cues. The scene is easy to read and understand.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a clear location and time description, introduces the characters and their goals, and progresses through dialogue and action. The scene has a clear beginning, middle, and end, and transitions smoothly between different locations within the theater.


Critique
  • The scene starts abruptly without any transition from the previous scene. It would be helpful to have a smoother transition to establish the change in location and time.
  • The dialogue between Jake and Annie feels forced and lacks natural flow. It would benefit from more organic and realistic conversation.
  • The introduction of Mike Shiner feels sudden and his entrance lacks proper setup. It would be more effective to establish his presence earlier or foreshadow his arrival.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Mike is engaging and reveals their contrasting personalities. However, some of the lines feel repetitive and could be condensed for better pacing.
  • The scene lacks visual descriptions and actions, making it feel static. Adding more visual elements and actions would enhance the overall impact of the scene.
  • The ending of the scene feels abrupt and leaves the reader wanting more resolution or closure. It would be beneficial to have a stronger concluding moment or transition to the next scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a transitional element or dialogue to smoothly transition from the previous scene to the hallway.
  • Revise the dialogue between Jake and Annie to make it more natural and realistic.
  • Foreshadow Mike Shiner's arrival earlier in the script to create anticipation and build his character.
  • Condense and streamline some of the repetitive dialogue between Riggan and Mike to improve pacing.
  • Include more visual descriptions and actions to make the scene more dynamic and engaging.
  • Develop a stronger concluding moment or transition to provide a sense of closure or anticipation for the next scene.



Scene 6 - Meeting Mike Shiner
8 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 8

...advance through the hallways.

MIKE
I'm Mike Shiner, by the way.

SAM
I know who you are.
(Reluctantly honest.)
I saw you in 'Hothouse' at the Geffen. It
was... great.

MIKE
That ass is great.

She turns her head toward him with a disgusted expression.

SAM
Dude. Seriously?

Moving by her, into a dressing room.

MIKE
This is the theatre, honey. Don’t be so
self-conscious.

She follows him into the room where we see...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Sam meets Mike Shiner, a famous actor, in the hallway of the theater. Mike makes inappropriate comments and Sam is disgusted. They enter a dressing room.
Strengths
  • Sharp and witty dialogue
  • Introduction of an important character
Weaknesses
  • Does not do much to advance the overall plot
  • Not particularly impactful or memorable

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 7

The scene is well-written and introduces an important character, but it is not particularly impactful or memorable.


Story Content

Concept: 6

The concept of meeting a famous actor is interesting, but the scene does not do much to advance the overall plot.

Plot: 5

The scene does not do much to advance the overall plot.

Originality: 6

The situation of a male character making inappropriate comments to a female character is not unique, but the writer's approach to the dialogue and tension is fresh and authentic.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The introduction of Mike Shiner is a significant moment for the character of Sam and sets up an important dynamic for later in the story.

Character Changes: 3

There is not much character development in this scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert his dominance and sexual prowess over the female character. This reflects his need for validation and power.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is not explicitly stated, but it can be inferred that he is preparing for a performance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

There is some tension between Sam and Mike, but it is not a particularly high-stakes conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition is strong enough to create tension and discomfort for the audience, but it is not insurmountable.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes are not particularly high in this scene.

Story Forward: 4

The scene does not do much to advance the overall plot.

Unpredictability: 6

The scene is somewhat predictable in terms of the protagonist's behavior, but the audience is unsure of how the female character will react.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is the clash between the protagonist's toxic masculinity and the female character's discomfort with his behavior. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about gender roles and power dynamics.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 4

The scene is not particularly emotional.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp and witty, and effectively establishes the personalities of both Sam and Mike.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it creates tension and discomfort for the audience through the inappropriate behavior of the protagonist.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and discomfort for the audience.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre of a dialogue-driven character interaction.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre of a dialogue-driven character interaction.


Critique
  • The scene could benefit from more visual elements to heighten the tension and urgency of the situation.
  • The dialogue could be more concise and impactful, with less exposition and more subtext.
  • The character of Jake could be more fully developed to create a more complex and nuanced conflict with Riggan.
  • The scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience in the world of the play and the emotions of the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual elements, such as close-ups of Riggan's face or shots of the chaos on stage, to heighten the tension and urgency of the situation.
  • Revise the dialogue to be more concise and impactful, with less exposition and more subtext. Use body language and nonverbal cues to convey the characters' emotions and motivations.
  • Develop the character of Jake more fully to create a more complex and nuanced conflict with Riggan. Consider adding backstory or personal stakes for Jake to make his priorities more understandable and relatable.
  • Add more sensory details, such as sounds of chaos or smells of the theater, to immerse the audience in the world of the play and the emotions of the characters.



Scene 7 - Costume Department Chaos
9 INT. COSTUME DEPARTMENT - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 9

...Larry stressing out while he works on a costume. He turns
to see Mike standing there. Sam stands against the wall,
focused on her cell phone.

LARRY
Oh, thank the Lord and pass the
biscuits! I finally have an actor to
dress. Hello, Mr. Shiner.

MIKE
How're you doing, Larry?

LARRY
Better, now that you're here. Take off your
clothes.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 23.

Mike takes off his shirt and hands it to Sam. She doesn't budge,
and it hits the floor. He begins to unbutton his pants...

MIKE
You gonna stand there?

SAM
(Glancing at her cell.)
This is the theatre, honey. Don’t be so
self-conscious.
Larry searches for a few costume pieces.

LARRY
Okay. I'm gonna have to start from
scratch, with less than twenty-four
hours... Let's see if these--

He turns to see a completely naked Mike.

LARRY (CONT'D)
Holy-- What is happening? Where are
your underpants?

MIKE
At home, under the bed, I think.

Sam glances at Mike for a second, then returns to her phone.
Larry begins to help Mike into some pants which, given the
situation, is very awkward.

LARRY
Okay. Everything is too small.

SAM
Yeah, you're not kidding.

Lesley enters the room immediately coming face to face with a
naked Mike. She doesn't notice Sam who is partially hidden by a
clothes rack. She just goes about trying a costume shirt.
LESLEY
Oh, that's nice...
(To Larry.)
Forgive him, Larry. Mike's like my five
year old son. Neither one of them has
clean underwear...

LARRY
Or pubic hair, I imagine.
(Folding the pants.)
Okay, well, I can take out the suit but
we're going to need some new pants and
shirts.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 24.
LARRY (CONT'D)
(Looking back.)
And underwear...

Mike just stands there naked, staring at his penis in the
mirror.

LESLEY
(To Larry.)
This is too small.
(To Mike.)
What the hell are you doing?
MIKE
Waiting for Larry to finish.

LARRY
I'm finished.

Larry disappears deeper into the costume room.

MIKE
Okay, well, then I'm just standing here
with my balls out.

LESLEY
Get dressed. Riggan's daughter is hanging
around, and I don't need her to walk in
here and--

MIKE
Leslie...

LESLEY
No, Mike. You haven’t seen her. She’s
always hanging around, just-- I don’t--
Watching everyone. It’s creepy. It’s--

MIKE
Les...

LESLEY
I don’t know if the drugs fried her
brain or what, but I don't need her
running to her father saying you showed
her your junk.

MIKE
Okay, then we should probably get her out
of here.

Lesley's expression goes blank.

LESLEY
Oh, God. Really?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 25.

MIKE
Hey, Sammy...

SAM
It's Sam.

LESLEY
Fuck.

Sam steps forward.
LESLEY (CONT'D)
(To Sam.)
I didn't mean--

SAM
(Totally relaxed.)
It's cool. He's a handful, huh?

They both look back at Mike.
LESLEY
Almost.

Sam smiles at her and exits. Lesley wheels on Mike.

LESLEY (CONT’D)
Jesus... How is it you always manage to find
a new way to humiliate me?

MIKE
To be fair, you make it really easy.

LESLEY
What the hell was she doing here?

MIKE
She brought me.

LESLEY
And stayed???
MIKE
I know, right? She's a little--

LESLEY
Look at me, Mike. This is Broadway. I'm
here. Finally. And I'm begging you, if you
love me, please, do me a favor... don't
fuck it up.

MIKE
(Gently.)
Come here.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 26.

Lesley moves toward Mike. He cups her face in his hands
tenderly. They are face to face.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Play with my balls...

She twists his nipples hard and walks out.

MIKE (CONT’D)
I won't fuck it up... Probably!
Larry reappears holding some clothes. We follow him out...
Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary In the costume department of the theater, Mike Shiner's inappropriate behavior causes chaos and frustration. Larry, the costume designer, struggles to find appropriate clothes for Mike, who is completely naked. Lesley, another actor, enters and is shocked by the situation. Sam, Riggan's daughter, is also present and remains unfazed. Lesley confronts Mike about his behavior and asks him not to ruin their Broadway production. Mike tries to make amends, but Lesley is still upset and leaves. The scene ends with Larry returning with clothes for Mike.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Tension and conflict
  • Strong character reactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Lack of emotional depth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor and tension, creating an entertaining and engaging moment. The dialogue is witty and the characters' reactions add depth to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of chaos in the costume department due to an actor's inappropriate behavior is interesting and provides comedic and dramatic opportunities.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene revolves around the chaos caused by Mike's behavior and Lesley's reaction to it. It adds conflict and tension to the overall story.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of dressing an actor for a performance is familiar, the specific dialogue and character interactions add a fresh and comedic twist. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and interactions in this scene reveal their personalities and relationships. Their distinct traits contribute to the humor and tension.

Character Changes: 5

There is minimal character change in this scene, as it primarily focuses on the chaotic situation rather than character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to successfully dress the actor, Mike, for his performance. This reflects Larry's desire to do his job well and contribute to the success of the production.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find new pants and shirts for Mike. This reflects the immediate challenge of dressing an actor who doesn't have appropriate clothing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Mike's inappropriate behavior and Lesley's frustration creates tension and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in this scene is moderate. While there are challenges and conflicts, such as finding appropriate clothing for Mike and dealing with Lesley's frustration, they are resolved relatively easily and without significant consequences.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are relatively high as the success of the Broadway production is at risk due to Mike's behavior.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges and conflicts faced by the characters in the production.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it includes unexpected character actions and dialogue, such as Mike standing naked in front of the other characters and Lesley twisting his nipples. These moments add surprise and humor to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, including amusement, frustration, and embarrassment.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the characters' personalities. It adds humor and depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a humorous and chaotic situation, with witty dialogue and unexpected character interactions. The audience is drawn into the scene and interested to see how the characters will navigate the challenges.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a fast and energetic rhythm. The quick dialogue exchanges and comedic moments keep the scene moving and hold the audience's attention.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions in a clear and organized manner.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, and progresses the action through dialogue and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene starts abruptly in the costume department without any transition from the previous scene. It would be helpful to have a brief establishing shot or a line of dialogue to indicate the change in location.
  • The dialogue between Larry, Mike, and Sam feels disconnected from the main conflict between Riggan and Jake. It distracts from the urgency and tension of the scene.
  • The interaction between Larry, Mike, and Sam could be shortened or cut entirely to focus more on Riggan and Jake's conversation.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Jake lacks depth and complexity. It would benefit from more subtext and emotional layers to reflect the high stakes of their conflict.
  • The scene ends abruptly with Riggan entering his dressing room. It would be more effective to have a stronger closing moment that leaves the audience with a sense of anticipation or tension.
  • The visual elements and actions in the scene are minimal and do not contribute significantly to the storytelling. Consider adding more visual cues or actions to enhance the scene.
  • The emotional tone of the scene is tense and urgent, but it could be further heightened by incorporating more dramatic pauses, gestures, or facial expressions.
  • The dialogue between Larry, Mike, and Sam could be rewritten to better reflect their personalities and relationships.
  • Consider adding more conflict or obstacles within the scene to increase the dramatic tension and keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Add an establishing shot or a line of dialogue to indicate the change in location from the previous scene.
  • Streamline or remove the dialogue between Larry, Mike, and Sam to focus more on Riggan and Jake's conversation.
  • Revise the dialogue between Riggan and Jake to add more subtext and emotional depth.
  • Create a stronger closing moment that leaves the audience with a sense of anticipation or tension.
  • Incorporate more visual cues or actions to enhance the storytelling.
  • Use dramatic pauses, gestures, or facial expressions to heighten the emotional tone of the scene.
  • Rewrite the dialogue between Larry, Mike, and Sam to better reflect their personalities and relationships.
  • Introduce more conflict or obstacles within the scene to increase the dramatic tension.



Scene 8 - Chaos and Revelations
10 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 10
...through the hallway. He walks by Jake and Riggan who are mid
conversation. We stay with them.



RIGGAN (O.S.)
I don’t care, sign it.
JAKE (O.S.)
Listen to me.

RIGGAN (O.S.)
No you listen to me--

JAKE (O.S.)
I can’t afford to listen to you...

LARRY
I’m gonna need to go shopping
again.

JAKE
Fucking sew something, you old
fuck!

RIGGAN
I don't care. Give him what he
wants.
JAKE
His agent is asking for almost four
times what we were paying--

RIGGAN
Then go into the reserve.

JAKE
The reserve is gone. You spent it
on the fog. And those fake trees...
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 27.

RIGGAN
It’s a dream sequence, it--

JAKE
And three union midgets that dance
around like--

RIGGAN
You’re not supposed to call them
midgets--
JAKE
The reserve is gone!

RIGGAN
Listen to me, you didn't see what I
just saw. But you will, at the preview
tomorrow. Look, get the contract done.
I'll get the money.

Riggan begins marching toward the stage.
JAKE
(Calling after him.)
When???

Laura comes down some stairs and chases Riggan.

LAURA
(Incredulous.)
Hey, is it true? Shiner?

RIGGAN
He's in.

LAURA
Holy shit! When can I meet him?

RIGGAN
He's in a fitting with Larry.
Lesley comes down the hallway.

LESLEY
I’m going to Starbucks. You guys
want anything?

RIGGAN
I’m fine. How’s Mike?

LESLEY
Did you talk to your daughter?

RIGGAN
No.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 28.

LESLEY
He’s great.

LAURA
(To Lesley. Matter-of-
factly.)
Honey, your tits look like fucking
anjou pears in that top!

LESLEY
(Uncomfortable.)
Okay, well I'm gonna-- Thank you.

She walks away.

LAURA
And that ass. Like two eggs in a hanky!

A10 A10

Riggan walks, Laura follows him.

LAURA
Okay, I was going to tell you this over
dinner, but everything-- I have some news
too.
RIGGAN
Good or bad? Cause right now--

A technician walks by.

LAURA
(Whispering.)
I missed my last two periods.
(Beat.)
I think it's happening this time.

Riggan stops. Silent. A beat.

LAURA (CONT'D)
Is that good or bad?
(He stares at her.)
Riggan...?

RIGGAN
It's good. It's great.
She smiles, her eyes filled with emotion. Riggan smiles back,
and nods absently.

LAURA
Say something else...

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 29.

RIGGAN
(Joking.)
You're pretty sure it's mine?

LAURA
(Unamused but plays along)
Well, let's see. There's you. Jake. That
masseuse wore a condom so... Yes, it's
yours... idiot.

She puts her head on Riggan's chest. We see his mind racing.
Laura is moved, and confused.

LAURA (CONT'D)
Are you excited?

RIGGAN
Yeah.

LAURA
Me too.
Laura moves slightly away from him and suddenly slaps him across
the face. Riggan looks at her, confused.

RIGGAN
What--?

LAURA
You're not funny.

She kisses him intensely on the lips and briefly places his
hand on her belly, then moves it up to her breasts. After a
moment, she backs away.

LAURA (CONT'D)
First preview tomorrow. Here we go!

Laura turns and walks away. Riggan continues down the
corridor. He passes by a Security Guard· in front of a small
TV. The camera becomes Riggan’s POV and advances until...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan Thomson witnesses a disastrous performance by Ralph during a play rehearsal, causing chaos and frustration. Meanwhile, Sam meets Mike Shiner, a famous actor, in the hallway and is disgusted by his inappropriate comments. In the costume department, Mike's behavior continues to cause chaos as Larry struggles to find appropriate clothes for him. Lesley confronts Mike about his behavior, but he tries to make amends. The scene ends with Larry returning with clothes for Mike. Amidst the chaos, Laura reveals to Riggan that she is pregnant, leading to a mix of emotions and confusion.
Strengths "Sharp and engaging dialogue, well-developed characters, effective balance of humor and drama, exploration of themes, and high stakes."
Weaknesses "Some may find the chaotic nature of the scene overwhelming or confusing."

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively captures the chaotic atmosphere and frustration faced by the characters, while also introducing a significant plot development with Laura's pregnancy revelation. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, and the scene successfully balances humor and drama.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of the scene revolves around the challenges and conflicts faced during theater production, as well as the personal relationships and dynamics between the characters. It effectively explores the themes of ambition, ego, and the blurred lines between reality and performance.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the disastrous performance by Ralph, the chaos caused by Mike's inappropriate behavior, and the revelation of Laura's pregnancy. These elements create tension and drive the story forward, setting up conflicts and character arcs.

Originality: 3

This scene does not display a high level of originality. The situations and dialogue are relatively familiar and do not offer any fresh approaches.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed and their personalities shine through their interactions. Riggan is frustrated and determined, Sam is disgusted, Mike is arrogant yet remorseful, Lesley is shocked and confrontational, and Laura is emotional and confused. Their distinct personalities create conflict and drive the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this particular scene, the interactions and conflicts set up potential character arcs and development. Riggan's determination and frustration may lead to personal growth, while Laura's pregnancy revelation introduces a new dynamic for her character.

Internal Goal: 0

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not clearly defined.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to get the contract done and secure the money for the play.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflicts, both internal and external. Riggan faces the challenge of saving his production, while dealing with conflicts between him and Jake, and the chaos caused by Mike. Lesley confronts Mike about his behavior, creating a tense confrontation. The conflicts drive the scene and create tension.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, with characters disagreeing and facing challenges in securing the money for the play.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as Riggan's production is in jeopardy, and the success of the play is crucial for his career and personal fulfillment. Additionally, Laura's pregnancy revelation adds a new layer of stakes and potential consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing conflicts, plot developments, and character dynamics. The disastrous performance, Mike's behavior, and Laura's pregnancy revelation all have significant implications for the overall story.

Unpredictability: 4

This scene is somewhat unpredictable because of the unexpected slap and intense kiss between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including frustration, disgust, shock, excitement, confusion, and intimacy. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds an emotional layer to the scene, creating a mix of joy and confusion for Riggan.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, witty, and engaging. It effectively conveys the frustration, disgust, shock, and confusion felt by the characters. The humor adds depth and entertainment value to the scene.

Engagement: 7

This scene is engaging because of the quick, snappy dialogue and the tension between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear dialogue and scene direction.


Critique
  • The dialogue in this scene is effective in conveying the tension and urgency of the situation. However, there are a few moments where the dialogue feels a bit repetitive and could be tightened up to maintain the pacing.
  • The introduction of Laura's pregnancy news feels a bit abrupt and out of place in the context of the scene. It may be more effective to save this reveal for a later scene where it can be given more focus and emotional impact.
  • The physical actions and movements of the characters could be further emphasized to enhance the visual elements of the scene. This could help to create a more dynamic and engaging visual experience for the audience.
  • The conflict between Riggan and Jake is well-established, but it could be further developed and explored to add depth to their relationship and increase the stakes of their disagreement.
  • The scene ends somewhat abruptly with Riggan entering his dressing room. Consider adding a final beat or moment of resolution to provide a stronger sense of closure and transition to the next scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening up the dialogue to maintain the pacing and avoid repetition.
  • Reconsider the placement of Laura's pregnancy reveal to a later scene for greater impact.
  • Enhance the physical actions and movements of the characters to create a more visually engaging scene.
  • Further develop and explore the conflict between Riggan and Jake to add depth to their relationship.
  • Add a final beat or moment of resolution to provide a stronger sense of closure and transition to the next scene.



Scene 9 - Chaos in the Costume Department
11 INT. BACKSTAGE - THEATER - EVENING 11

...we go through the stage door. We scan the backstage area to
see the stagehands ready to do their jobs. We can feel the
electricity of a first preview.

On stage part of the kitchen set from before is visible. Annie
stands at her podium, calling the cues for the show.

ANNIE
(Into her headset.)
Cue 34 and 35. Go.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 30.

She turns and looks directly into the camera.

ANNIE (CONT'D)
Places.

RIGGAN (O.S.)
Okay.

Riggan walks on screen wearing his costume, carrying a bucket of
ice and a bottle of gin. He goes to the opposite side of the
stage and takes his place in the wings. He peeks out at the
audience who seem to be watching with interest.

Then we pan to the stage to find Mike, Lesley and Laura
performing the scene we saw at the beginning, around the table.
Mike looks comfortable, sipping at his drink. A half empty
bottle of gin on the table.

MIKE
The maniac shot himself right in front of
us. I rode with him in the ambulance to the
hospital.

LESLEY
I’ll never get that image out of my head.
Right before he did it, his eyes-- they
were so sad... lonely.

LAURA
Did you have to treat him?

MIKE
I didn’t have to. But I did.
(Pouring another drink.)
He was in bad shape. His head swelled
up to like twice the size of a normal
head. I'd never seen anything like
it. And I swear to God, I hope I
never do again.

Riggan stands near Annie.
RIGGAN
He’s good.

ANNIE
He’s incredible. I think he's
drinking real gin.

Riggan looks out at Mike, who is refilling his glass.

RIGGAN
What?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 31.

A stagehand gives Riggan a bottle. Riggan watches and waits
for his cue.

MIKE
Ask Nick what real love is. He’ll
agree with me. You watch.

LESLEY
Why don’t we just head to the
restaurant?
LAURA
Don’t get him started, Mel. You
haven’t seen how he’s been lately.
He’s been depressed. I’m worried
about him. He’s been--

She gently pushes Riggan and we follow him on stage...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary During a play rehearsal, Riggan Thomson witnesses a disastrous performance by Ralph, causing chaos and frustration. Meanwhile, Sam meets Mike Shiner, a famous actor, in the hallway and is disgusted by his inappropriate comments. In the costume department, Mike's behavior continues to cause chaos as Larry struggles to find appropriate clothes for him. Lesley confronts Mike about his behavior, but he tries to make amends. The scene ends with Larry returning with clothes for Mike. Amidst the chaos, Laura reveals to Riggan that she is pregnant, leading to a mix of emotions and confusion.
Strengths "The scene effectively portrays chaos and frustration, introduces significant conflicts and plot developments, and features engaging dialogue and interactions between characters."
Weaknesses "The emotional impact could be further heightened, and the character changes could be more pronounced."

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively portrays the chaos and frustration within the production, while also introducing a significant plot development with Laura's pregnancy revelation. The dialogue and interactions between characters are engaging and contribute to the overall tension and conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of showcasing the challenges and chaos behind the scenes of a theater production is well-executed in this scene. It effectively captures the struggles of the costume department and the inappropriate behavior of a famous actor, adding depth to the overall story.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the disastrous performance by Ralph, the inappropriate behavior of Mike Shiner, and the struggles of the costume department. These elements create tension and conflict, driving the story forward and setting up future developments.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of observing a performance backstage is not entirely unique, the specific details and dialogue add authenticity to the characters' actions and emotions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in this scene are well-developed and their interactions contribute to the overall conflict and tension. Riggan, Sam, Mike, Lesley, and Laura each have distinct personalities and motivations, which adds depth to the scene and the story as a whole.

Character Changes: 6

While there are some minor character changes in this scene, such as Lesley confronting Mike and Laura revealing her pregnancy, the focus is more on the external conflicts and chaos. The character changes could be further developed to have a stronger impact.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to observe and assess the performance of Mike, who is drinking real gin on stage. This reflects Riggan's desire for validation and success as a director.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to ensure the smooth running of the show and to observe the audience's reaction. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges of putting on a successful performance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in this scene is high, with multiple characters clashing and tensions rising. The inappropriate behavior of Mike Shiner creates conflict within the costume department, while Lesley confronts him about his actions. The conflict drives the scene forward and adds intensity.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderate, as there is a potential conflict between Riggan's desire for a successful performance and Mike's unpredictable behavior.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in this scene are relatively high, as the chaos and conflicts threaten the success of Riggan's Broadway production. The inappropriate behavior of a famous actor and the struggles in the costume department add tension and raise the stakes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing significant conflicts and plot developments. The disastrous performance by Ralph and the inappropriate behavior of Mike Shiner create obstacles for Riggan's production. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds a new layer of complexity to the story.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces the element of Mike drinking real gin on stage, which adds tension and uncertainty to the performance.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including frustration, disgust, shock, and confusion. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds an emotional layer to the scene. However, the emotional impact could be further heightened with more exploration of the characters' internal struggles.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in this scene effectively conveys the frustration, disgust, and shock felt by the characters. It also reveals important information about the characters' relationships and motivations. The dialogue contributes to the overall tension and conflict in the scene.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it provides insight into the characters' emotions and relationships, as well as the anticipation of the performance.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest, with a mix of dialogue and descriptive action.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation, dialogue formatting, and scene direction.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene could benefit from more visual elements to break up the dialogue-heavy nature of the conversation.
  • The dialogue could be more specific and nuanced to reveal more about the characters and their motivations.
  • The emotional tone could be heightened with more attention to the physical actions and reactions of the characters.
  • The conflict between Riggan and Jake could be more clearly defined and escalated throughout the scene.
  • The scene could benefit from more subtext and tension to keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more physical actions for the characters to break up the dialogue and add visual interest.
  • Rewrite the dialogue to reveal more about the characters and their motivations, making it more specific and nuanced.
  • Pay attention to the physical actions and reactions of the characters to heighten the emotional tone of the scene.
  • Clarify and escalate the conflict between Riggan and Jake throughout the scene to keep the audience engaged.
  • Add more subtext and tension to the scene to keep the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.



Scene 10 - Chaos in the Costume Department
12 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 12
...where Mike goes to refill his glass with the last of the
real gin. Riggan snatches the bottle out of his hands and
gulps the rest, straight from the bottle.

RIGGAN
Been what? (Beat.) I'll tell you
what real love is. This happened a
few months ago.
(Drops bottle on table)
And it ought to make us ashamed
when we talk like we know what
we're talking about when we talk
about love.

LAURA
Nick, for God's sake. Are you
getting drunk?

RIGGAN
(Pointed at Mike.)
I don't have to be drunk to say
what I think.

MIKE
Nobody’s drunk. We’re just having a
few drinks.

LESLEY
You’ve had more than a few.

RIGGAN
What are you, counting?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 32.

LAURA
Don't you talk to her like that.
Don’t talk like a drunk if you’re
not--

RIGGAN
(Exploding.)
Shut up. For once in your life.
Will you do me a favor and shut up
for a minute?
(Beat.)
Like I was saying... There's this
old couple, had a car wreck out on
the interstate. Some drunk kid
plowed his dad's pick up into their
camper.

We begin to hear the underscoring of violins.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Fucking teenager. By the time I got
to the hospital, the kid was dead.
He was off in a corner laid out on
a gurney. We took the old couple up
to the O.R.. They were a mess. We
worked like hell on them for most
of the night...

Over the speech, Mike reaches for the new bottle that Riggan
placed on stage. He refills his glass.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
When we were done, we wrapped them in full
body casts. The husband was depressed.
Even when I told him his wife was gonna
pull through, he was still depressed. So,
I got up to his mouth hole and asked him,
and he told me it was because he couldn't
see her through the eye holes. Can you
imagine? I’m telling you, the man's heart
was breaking because he couldn't turn his
goddamn head and see his goddamn wife.

Riggan is doing a good job. Lesley and Laura are genuinely
moved. Mike notices. He sips his drink.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
I mean... It was killing him. Killing him
that he--

MIKE
I'm tired of this shit.

They all look at Mike. In silence.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 33.

MIKE (CONT’D)
(to Riggan)
What the fuck is this? Water?

He hurls the glass against the wall. Some laughter from the
audience. Riggan stares at him, confused. He presses on.

RIGGAN
It was killing the old bastard...

MIKE
Did you just give me water?

RIGGAN
Come on, Mike.

MIKE
Come on what?

RIGGAN
Take it easy. You're drunk.
MIKE
Of course I'm drunk! I'm supposed to
be drunk! This is Carver, man! The guy
lost a piece of liver every time he
wrote a page! If I’m supposed to drink
gin then bring me fuckin gin! I mean,
you fucked the time period! You took
all the good lines for yourself! At
least let me--

The audience is now hysterical. Dozens of cell phones
pointing at the stage. Mike walks toward the apron, facing
the audience.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Oh, okay. Seriously? You people are
pathetic. Put the cell phones down and
join the real world! Will somebody
please just live in the real world?!!
He crosses to the refrigerator.

LAURA
Where's he going?

LESLEY
(Firmly.)
Mike, cut it out.

Mike rummages through the fridge.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 34.

MIKE
Look at this. It’s all fake.
(Tossing items out of the
fridge.)
The milk is fake. The butter is fake.

Riggan storms off the stage.

MIKE (CONT’D)
(To Riggan.)
Your performance is fake.
(He finds some fried
chicken.)
Hey! There's chicken. Real chicken. The
only thing real up here is the chicken.
So I'm gonna stick with the chicken.

The audience laughs harder.

MIKE (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Hey, this is good bird, man!
Riggan charges through the chaos backstage running into a
panicked Annie.

RIGGAN
Get Mike out of here.

ANNIE
How do you want me to do that?

Riggan keeps walking up to...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In the costume department of the theater, Mike Shiner's inappropriate behavior causes chaos and frustration. Larry, the costume designer, struggles to find appropriate clothes for Mike, who is completely naked. Lesley, another actor, enters and is shocked by the situation. Sam, Riggan's daughter, is also present and remains unfazed. Lesley confronts Mike about his behavior and asks him not to ruin their Broadway production. Mike tries to make amends, but Lesley is still upset and leaves. The scene ends with Larry returning with clothes for Mike. Amidst the chaos, Laura reveals to Riggan that she is pregnant, leading to a mix of emotions and confusion.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of chaos and frustration
  • Confrontation between characters adds tension
  • Revelation of pregnancy adds a twist
Weaknesses
  • Lack of depth in character emotions and motivations
  • Dialogue could be more complex

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively portrays the chaos and frustration caused by Mike's behavior, and the confrontation between Lesley and Mike adds tension. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds an unexpected twist to the scene. However, the scene could benefit from more development of the characters' emotions and motivations.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of chaos and frustration in the costume department is well-executed, and the inappropriate behavior of a famous actor adds an interesting dynamic. However, the scene could delve deeper into the emotional impact of the situation.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the chaos caused by Mike's behavior and the confrontation between Lesley and Mike. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds a subplot that adds complexity to the scene. The plot effectively moves the story forward and creates conflict.

Originality: 9

The level of originality in this scene is high. The situation of a disruptive actor causing chaos during a performance is a fresh approach to a familiar conflict. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters in the scene are well-defined, with Mike as the provocative and disruptive actor, Lesley as the concerned and confrontational actor, and Sam as the unaffected observer. However, the scene could benefit from further exploration of their emotions and motivations.

Character Changes: 6

There is some character change in the scene, particularly with Lesley confronting Mike and Sam remaining unfazed by the chaos. However, the character changes could be more pronounced and impactful.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to express his thoughts and feelings about love and authenticity. It reflects his deeper need for validation and his fear of being seen as fake or insincere.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to maintain control and order during the performance. It reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with a disruptive actor and keeping the audience engaged.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with the chaos caused by Mike's behavior and the confrontation between Lesley and Mike. The conflict creates tension and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, with the disruptive actor challenging the protagonist's authority and causing chaos. The audience is unsure of how the situation will be resolved.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are relatively high, as the chaos and inappropriate behavior could jeopardize the Broadway production. Additionally, the revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds personal stakes for Riggan. However, the stakes could be further heightened and explored.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the chaos caused by Mike's behavior and the confrontation between Lesley and Mike. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds a new element to the story. However, the scene could further develop the consequences and implications of these events.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and outbursts of the characters. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between authenticity and performance. The protagonist's beliefs and values are challenged by the disruptive actor's actions and the audience's reaction.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, including frustration, confusion, disgust, and amusement. However, the emotional impact could be heightened with more exploration of the characters' emotions and motivations.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the frustration, confrontation, and humor. The lines reveal the characters' personalities and motivations. However, there could be more depth and complexity in the dialogue.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotions and conflict between the characters. The audience is drawn into the chaos and tension of the situation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and tension. The dialogue and actions are fast-paced, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 7

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, followed by dialogue and character actions. The scene has a clear beginning, middle, and end.


Critique
  • The dialogue in this scene feels a bit repetitive and could benefit from some trimming. Consider condensing some of the lines to make the conversation more concise and impactful.
  • The emotional tension between Riggan and Jake could be heightened by adding more subtext to their dialogue. Explore their underlying motivations and desires to create a deeper conflict.
  • The visual elements in this scene could be enhanced to reflect the urgency and chaos of the situation. Consider incorporating more dynamic camera movements or staging to convey the heightened emotions.
  • The transition from the hallway to Riggan entering his dressing room feels abrupt and could be smoother. Consider adding a transitional moment or action to bridge the two locations.
  • The scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience in the environment. Explore ways to incorporate sounds, smells, or physical sensations to enhance the overall experience.
Suggestions
  • Condense and tighten the dialogue to make it more impactful.
  • Add subtext to the dialogue to deepen the conflict between Riggan and Jake.
  • Enhance the visual elements to reflect the urgency and chaos of the situation.
  • Smoothly transition from the hallway to Riggan entering his dressing room.
  • Incorporate sensory details to immerse the audience in the environment.



Scene 11 - Costume Chaos
13 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 13
...the hallway. Jake chases him.

RIGGAN
I want him gone.

JAKE
No.

RIGGAN
What?

JAKE
We can't do that.

RIGGAN
What are you-- Of course we can do that.
It's our show.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 35.

JAKE
Riggan, listen to me--

Riggan comes to a halt and faces Jake.

RIGGAN
No. You listen to me. Get him the fuck out
of my play. Did you see him out there?

JAKE
It was a preview! Nobody gives a shit about
previews. Nothing matters until that old
bat from the New York Times is sitting in
that audience on opening night.

RIGGAN
We're getting rid of him. I’m not going to
stand up on that stage and--

JAKE
Shut up! Just shut up for once and
listen to me. As soon as we announced he
was taking over, the advance doubled. We
can't afford to lose a preview. We can't
afford to lose money. We can't afford to
lose Mike. This is about being
respected, validated, remember? That's
what you told me. That's how you got me
into this shit. Now, you're the
director. Get him under control.
(A beat. As a friend.)
These are not the nineties anymore.

Jake storms away. Riggan heads toward his dressing room. Out
of nowhere, Mike barrels into him, pinning him against a wall.

RIGGAN
(Startled.)
Holy Fuck!

Mike presses up against Riggan, breathing down his neck. After a
painful silence...

MIKE
(Like he's possessed.)
You were good...

RIGGAN
Meet me in front of the theater in
10 minutes.

Mike chuckles and slaps Riggan gently on the face before he
disappears into his dressing room. Riggan begins walking
again. We follow him into...
10/29/14 / 36.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In the costume department of the theater, Mike Shiner's inappropriate behavior causes chaos and frustration. Larry, the costume designer, struggles to find appropriate clothes for Mike, who is completely naked. Lesley, another actor, enters and is shocked by the situation. Sam, Riggan's daughter, is also present and remains unfazed. Lesley confronts Mike about his behavior and asks him not to ruin their Broadway production. Mike tries to make amends, but Lesley is still upset and leaves. The scene ends with Larry returning with clothes for Mike. Amidst the chaos, Laura reveals to Riggan that she is pregnant, leading to a mix of emotions and confusion.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of chaos and frustration
  • Believable character reactions
  • Tension and conflict in the confrontation
Weaknesses
  • Lack of impactful and memorable dialogue
  • Limited exploration of the theme

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively portrays chaos and frustration through Mike's inappropriate behavior and Larry's struggle to find clothes. The confrontation between Lesley and Mike adds tension and conflict. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds an unexpected twist and emotional depth to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of chaos and frustration caused by inappropriate behavior and the struggle to maintain control in a theater production is well-executed in this scene.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Mike's behavior causes chaos and frustration, leading to a confrontation between Lesley and Mike. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds a new layer of complexity to the story.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a protagonist facing challenges in the theater industry is familiar, the specific conflicts and dynamics between the characters feel fresh. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their reactions to the chaotic situation are believable. Lesley's confrontation with Mike and Sam's unfazed attitude add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

There is some character change as Mike tries to make amends, but it is not the central focus of the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to regain control and respect in his play. This reflects his deeper need for validation and his fear of failure.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to get rid of Mike, who has taken over his role in the play. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining the success and reputation of the play.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Lesley and Mike adds tension to the scene, as well as the chaos caused by Mike's inappropriate behavior.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, with Jake and Mike challenging Riggan's desires and beliefs. The audience is unsure of how Riggan will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are relatively high as the chaos caused by Mike's behavior could potentially ruin the Broadway production.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showing the consequences of Mike's behavior and the revelation of Laura's pregnancy.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and reactions of the characters. The audience is unsure of how the conflicts will be resolved.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Riggan's desire for artistic integrity and Jake's focus on financial success. This challenges Riggan's beliefs about the importance of being respected and validated as an artist.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a mix of emotions, including frustration, shock, and confusion. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds an emotional element.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the frustration, shock, and attempts at making amends in the scene. However, there could be more impactful and memorable lines.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense dialogue and the conflict between the characters. The audience is drawn into the power struggles and the high stakes of the theater world.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and intense, with quick back-and-forth dialogue and minimal pauses. This contributes to the effectiveness of the scene by creating a sense of urgency and tension.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation, spacing, and punctuation. It is easy to read and understand.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The dialogue in this scene feels a bit on-the-nose and could benefit from more subtext and nuance.
  • The conflict between Riggan and Jake is clear, but it could be more complex and layered to add more depth to the scene.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual elements or actions to break up the dialogue and add more interest to the scene.
  • The emotional tone of the scene is tense and urgent, but it could benefit from more variation to keep the audience engaged.
  • The scene ends somewhat abruptly and could benefit from a stronger closing beat to leave a lasting impression on the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext and nuance to the dialogue to make it feel more natural and less on-the-nose.
  • Explore ways to add more complexity and layers to the conflict between Riggan and Jake to make it more interesting and engaging for the audience.
  • Think about adding more visual elements or actions to break up the dialogue and add more interest to the scene.
  • Experiment with varying the emotional tone of the scene to keep the audience engaged and interested.
  • Consider adding a stronger closing beat to the scene to leave a lasting impression on the audience.



Scene 12 - Revelations and Reflections
14 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 14

...his dressing room. He goes into the bathroom and quickly
washes his face.

SYLVIA (O.S.)
What the hell was going on up there?

We pan over to see his ex-wife Sylvia (43), standing in one
corner, staring at Riggan. She is elegant and simply beautiful.

RIGGAN
I didn't know you were here tonight.
SYLVIA
That guy's an asshole, huh?

Riggan dries his hands with a towel and comes out of the
bathroom.

RIGGAN
What are you doing here?
SYLVIA
Sam and I are going to grab a bite
after she's finished with--

RIGGAN
No, I mean here. Now.

SYLVIA
Well. I know how much this means to
you, so--

RIGGAN
I appreciate that.

A beat.

SYLVIA
So, how's it going?

RIGGAN
The play?

SYLVIA
No, you and Sam.

RIGGAN
It's good. (A beat.) It’s the same.

SYLVIA
Do you talk to her?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 37.

RIGGAN
We talk. We-- I don't know, it's been crazy
around here.

SYLVIA
You understand where her head is at right
now.

RIGGAN
Of course.
SYLVIA
She's trying to stay away from everything
and everyone that got her into rehab in the
first place, but...

RIGGAN
...I know, Sylvia...

SYLVIA
...But that's all she had. So she's--
RIGGAN
I really do get it.

SYLVIA
I know you're caught up in all this stuff,
but--

RIGGAN
Stuff...

SYLVIA
You know what I mean.
(Beat.)
Riggan... You don't have to be a great
father right now, you just have to be one.

RIGGAN
Yeah.
Suddenly, Laura opens the door and sticks her head in.

LAURA
(Noticing Sylvia.)
Oh, sorry.

She closes the door. Awkward silence.

SYLVIA
So how is that going? Is she and
Sam--?

RIGGAN
I don’t wanna talk about it.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 38.

He goes to a small fridge, takes out a beer and closes it.

SYLVIA
You're drinking?

RIGGAN
I'm having a beer.

SYLVIA
Okay...
He sits and sips in silence for a moment. Then he begins to
take out the wig.

RIGGAN
So, what's going on with you?

SYLVIA
Me? Nothing. Everything's the same I guess.
I'm going back to teaching.
RIGGAN
I’m thinking about refinancing the Malibu
house.

SYLVIA
Wh-- I’m sorry?

RIGGAN
I’m thinking about--

SYLVIA
No, I heard you. I just need a second to--
(A beat.) That's gonna be Sam's house. Why
would you-- (A beat.) What? For this play?

RIGGAN
(Honest and vulnerable.)
I need the money.

SYLVIA
Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?

RIGGAN
What do you want me to say? My health
lasted longer than the money... Go figure
that out.

Riggan seems pensive and lost.

SYLVIA
Riggan...
(Beat.)
What’s going on?... Look at me.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 39.

Riggan gently looks up to Sylvia.

RIGGAN
I have a chance to do something right. And I
have to take it. I have to.

SYLVIA
It’s funny. I was sitting here waiting
for you, and all of a sudden I couldn’t
remember why we broke up.
Silence. Then, as if he hasn’t heard what she said.

RIGGAN
The last time I flew here from LA, George
Clooney was sitting two seats in front of
me. With those cuff links, and that...
chin. We ended up flying through this
really bad storm. The plane started to
rattle and shake, and everyone on board
was crying... and praying. And I just sat
there-- Sat there thinking that when Sam
opened that paper it was going to be
Clooney's face on the front page. Not
mine. (A beat.) Did you know that Farrah
Fawcett died on the same day as Michael
Jackson?

She smiles sadly. She kisses him on the head and goes to the
door.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Why did we break up?

SYLVIA
(Looks him in the eye.)
You threw a kitchen knife at me...

Riggan is smacked by that memory. His eyes on the floor.

SYLVIA (CONT’D)
...and one hour later you were
telling me how much you loved me.
(Beat.)
Just because I didn't like that
ridiculous comedy you did with Goldie
Hawn didn't mean I did not love you.
But that's what you always do. You
confuse love with admiration.

She smiles sadly. He looks at her. As Sylvia opens the door,
she turns back to Riggan...



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 40.

SYLVIA (CONT'D)
It's your house, so do what you want with
it. Just make sure you're there for our
daughter.

RIGGAN
I will.

SYLVIA
You're not Farrah Fawcett, Riggan.
She exits. Painful silence... until...

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
We should have done that reality show they
offered us. "The Thomsons." That would’ve
been good. Crazy, druggy, wise ass daughter.
Milfy wife with the perky tits. People would
have watched that.

RIGGAN
(To the poster.)
Shut up.

Riggan stands up and grabs his jacket. He opens the door and
goes out to...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Riggan's dressing room, he has a conversation with his ex-wife Sylvia. They discuss their daughter Sam and Riggan's financial troubles. Sylvia advises Riggan to focus on being a father. Riggan reflects on his past and the fear of failure. The scene ends with Sylvia leaving and Riggan talking to his alter ego, Birdman.
Strengths "Strong performances, emotional depth, well-written dialogue"
Weaknesses "Some may find the scene slow-paced"

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and internal conflict of the protagonist, Riggan. The dialogue is well-written and the performances are strong.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of exploring Riggan's personal life and his struggle with fame and fatherhood is interesting and engaging.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene focuses on Riggan's personal life and his relationship with his ex-wife. It adds depth to the overall story.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a conversation between an ex-spouse and a protagonist dealing with personal and professional challenges is familiar, the authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds a fresh approach to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in this scene, particularly Riggan and Sylvia, are well-developed and their interactions feel authentic.

Character Changes: 8

Riggan experiences a significant emotional change in this scene as he reflects on his past and makes a decision to take a chance.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate his complicated relationship with his ex-wife and daughter while also dealing with the pressures of his play. This reflects his deeper need for validation and connection with his family.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to have a conversation with his ex-wife and understand her perspective on his relationship with their daughter. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining a healthy relationship with his family.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

There is a moderate level of conflict in this scene, primarily in the internal conflicts faced by Riggan.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist is faced with conflicting perspectives from his ex-wife and his own desires. The audience is unsure of how he will navigate this opposition and what choices he will make.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in this scene are primarily internal, as Riggan grapples with his fear of failure and desire for personal redemption.

Story Forward: 7

The scene provides insight into Riggan's personal life and motivations, which contributes to the overall story.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is unpredictable because it reveals unexpected details about the characters' past and their current emotional state. The audience is left wondering how the conversation will unfold and what impact it will have on the protagonist.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Riggan's desire for artistic success and his responsibility as a father. This challenges his beliefs about what it means to be a good father and how to prioritize his personal and professional life.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly in Riggan's reflection on his past and his desire to do something meaningful.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in this scene is well-written and effectively conveys the emotions and conflicts of the characters.

Engagement: 7

This scene is engaging because it explores the complex emotions and relationships of the characters. The dialogue and character interactions create tension and intrigue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing for moments of reflection and emotional depth. The rhythm of the dialogue and the pauses create a sense of tension and anticipation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action lines.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, introduces the characters, and progresses through their conversation.


Critique
  • The scene starts abruptly with Sylvia's entrance. It would be helpful to have a transition or a brief moment to establish her presence before she speaks.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Sylvia feels a bit disjointed and lacks a clear direction. It would benefit from more focused and purposeful conversation.
  • The conversation about Riggan's relationship with Sam feels forced and out of place in this scene. It doesn't contribute to the main conflict between Riggan and Jake.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Sylvia becomes repetitive and lacks depth. It would be more engaging to explore their past relationship and current dynamics in a more meaningful way.
  • The transition from Sylvia's exit to Birdman's voiceover feels abrupt and disconnected. It would be helpful to have a smoother transition or a clearer connection between the two.
  • The scene ends with Riggan entering his dressing room, but it doesn't provide a strong sense of resolution or closure. It would be more impactful to end the scene on a stronger note or with a clear decision or action by Riggan.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment or action to establish Sylvia's presence before she speaks, such as Riggan noticing her in the corner or her entering the room.
  • Refine the dialogue between Riggan and Sylvia to have a clearer direction and purpose. Focus on their past relationship and current dynamics to add depth and tension to the scene.
  • Remove the conversation about Riggan's relationship with Sam as it doesn't contribute to the main conflict between Riggan and Jake. Instead, focus on their conflicting priorities and the consequences of Riggan's actions.
  • Explore Riggan's vulnerability and emotional state more deeply through his conversation with Sylvia. Show the impact of his choices and the weight of his responsibilities.
  • Create a smoother transition or connection between Sylvia's exit and Birdman's voiceover to maintain the flow and coherence of the scene.
  • Consider ending the scene with a stronger note or a clear decision or action by Riggan to provide a sense of resolution or closure.



Scene 13 - Costume Chaos
15 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 15
...the hallway.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Where are we goin'?

RIGGAN
(Almost whispering.)
Leave me alone.

Riggan walks between crew members. Annie interrupts him.

ANNIE
The sun bed is here.

RIGGAN
What does that mean?

ANNIE
It means there's a sun bed out there
being delivered to in here.

RIGGAN
Who ordered a sun bed?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 41.

ANNIE
Mike. He says it’s for his character.
Carver’s red necks, “people of the
land”. Part of his process and that
shit.

Riggan cannot deal with this right now. He continues walking
until he arrives at a metal door that takes him out to...

16 EXT. AN ALLEY WAY - OUTSIDE THE THEATER - CONTINUOUS 16

...an alley way. Riggan walks toward the street. There is a man
playing drums. Riggan finds Mike leaning against a parked car,
dazed and looking up at the marquis...

RIGGAN
Let’s go. Walk.

Riggan begins to walk, Mike follows.

MIKE
Where are we going?
RIGGAN
To get you some coffee. Have I done
anything to disrespect you?

MIKE
Not yet.

RIGGAN
I have a lot riding on this play.
MIKE
Is that right?

RIGGAN
People know who I am, and--

MIKE
Bullshit.

RIGGAN
Mike--

MIKE
Bullshit. People don’t know you. They
know the guy in the bird suit. They
know the guy who tells those quaint,
slightly vomitous stories on Letterman.

RIGGAN
Well, I’m sorry for being popular, but
that--
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 42.

MIKE
(With irony.)
Popular? POPULAR?... Oh God, popularity is
just the slutty little cousin of prestige.

RIGGAN
Okay, I don’t even know what that--

MIKE
My reputation is riding on this play.
And that's... That is...
RIGGAN
A lot?

MIKE
A lot. Exactly. Fuck you. Yes. This
doesn't work out for you, you get to go
home to your studio pals and jump right
back into that cultural genocide you
guys are perpetrating. “There’s a
douchbag born every minute”. That was
P.T. Barnum’s premise when he got rich
inventing the circus. And you and your
pals know nothing’s changed, and
whatever toxic shit you make people are
still gonna pay to see it. But, after
you’re gone, I’ll still be here. I’ll
still be making my living on the stage.
Baring my soul. Wrestling with emotions,
complex emotions.

RIGGAN
Right. Is that what tonight was about then?
(Mocking him.) Wrestling with “complex
emotions”?

MIKE
Tonight was about making it alive. About
making it bleed. This isn't the Warner
Brothers lot, Riggan. This is the city, and
this is how we do things.

Mike turns and opens the front door of The Rum House.

RIGGAN
Where are you going?

MIKE
They have coffee in here.

He walks into the restaurant. Riggan backtracks and we follow
him into...
10/29/14 / 43.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the costume department of the theater, Mike Shiner's inappropriate behavior causes chaos and frustration. Larry, the costume designer, struggles to find appropriate clothes for Mike, who is completely naked. Lesley, another actor, enters and is shocked by the situation. Sam, Riggan's daughter, is also present and remains unfazed. Lesley confronts Mike about his behavior and asks him not to ruin their Broadway production. Mike tries to make amends, but Lesley is still upset and leaves. The scene ends with Larry returning with clothes for Mike. Amidst the chaos, Laura reveals to Riggan that she is pregnant, leading to a mix of emotions and confusion.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of chaos and frustration
  • Strong character reactions and conflicts
  • Surprising pregnancy reveal
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively portrays the chaos and frustration caused by Mike's inappropriate behavior. It also introduces conflicts and emotions through the confrontation between Lesley and Mike, as well as the pregnancy reveal. The mix of emotions and confusion adds depth to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of chaos and frustration caused by inappropriate behavior is well-executed in the scene. It explores the consequences of such behavior in a professional setting and the impact it has on the characters involved.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as the chaos and frustration caused by Mike's behavior escalates. The confrontation between Lesley and Mike adds tension and conflict to the scene. The pregnancy reveal adds a surprising twist and raises questions about the future.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting and conflicts are familiar in the theater industry, the dialogue and the specific arguments between the characters are unique. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters' reactions to the chaos and frustration caused by Mike's behavior are well-portrayed. Lesley's confrontation with Mike shows her determination to protect the production. Sam's unfazed attitude adds an interesting contrast. Laura's pregnancy reveal adds complexity to Riggan's emotions.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it deepens the understanding of the characters' personalities and motivations. Lesley's determination to protect the production and Riggan's mix of emotions due to the pregnancy reveal hint at potential character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to deal with the stress and pressure of the play and his reputation. He wants to prove himself and maintain his reputation as a successful actor.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to get coffee for Mike. It reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, such as the need for a break and a moment to relax.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with Lesley confronting Mike about his behavior and the chaos caused by his nudity. The conflict between Lesley and Mike adds tension and raises the stakes for the Broadway production.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in this scene is strong, with the characters engaging in a heated argument and challenging each other's beliefs and values. The audience is unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene as the chaos caused by Mike's behavior threatens the success of the Broadway production. The pregnancy reveal also raises personal stakes for Riggan and introduces uncertainty about the future.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing conflicts, deepening character relationships, and raising questions about the future. The chaos caused by Mike's behavior and the pregnancy reveal have implications for the Broadway production and Riggan's personal life.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected arguments and insults exchanged between the characters. The audience doesn't know how the conflict will escalate or how the characters will react.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between popularity and prestige in the entertainment industry. Mike criticizes Riggan's popularity and accuses him of perpetrating cultural genocide, while Riggan defends his success and popularity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a mix of emotions, including frustration, disgust, upset, and confusion. The pregnancy reveal adds an additional layer of emotional impact. The characters' reactions and the chaotic atmosphere contribute to the emotional intensity.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the frustration, irony, and emotions of the characters. The confrontation between Lesley and Mike showcases their conflicting perspectives. The dialogue also reveals insights into Riggan's fear of failure and Mike's views on popularity.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense and confrontational dialogue between the characters. The conflict and tension keep the audience interested and invested in the scene.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and flow. The dialogue exchanges are quick and intense, keeping the scene engaging and dynamic.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The scene is well-organized and easy to read.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It starts with a location and time description, followed by character actions and dialogue. The scene transitions smoothly between different locations.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clear direction and purpose. It feels like a transitional scene that doesn't add much to the story.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Annie about the sun bed feels out of place and doesn't contribute to the main conflict of the scene.
  • The emotional tone of the scene could be heightened to increase tension and urgency.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual elements to make it more engaging for the audience.
  • The conflict between Riggan and Jake could be more clearly defined and resolved in this scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider cutting the dialogue about the sun bed to streamline the scene and focus on the main conflict.
  • Add more physical action or visual elements to make the scene more dynamic.
  • Clarify the conflict between Riggan and Jake and give it a more satisfying resolution.
  • Consider adding more urgency and tension to the scene to make it more engaging for the audience.



Scene 14 - Chaos in the Costume Department
17 INT. RUM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS 17

...The Rum House. Mike stands at the bar, the bartender
already pouring two whiskeys.

MIKE
(To bartender.)
Thanks, Tommy.

Tommy nods and walks away.

RIGGAN
(Getting back on point.)
People were laughing in our faces.

MIKE
(Handing Riggan a drink.)
Tonight they were laughing, tomorrow
they'll be... be.. tweeting about us. Fuck
‘em. Who cares??? These are the people who
pay half price to watch us rehearse. Stop
fucking caring!
RIGGAN
We’re doing Raymond Carver. This play is a
drama. This play is--

MIKE
You don’t know what this play is. These are
previews. This is where we find out what
the play is.

Mike points to an Older Woman sitting at the bar. She sips a
martini and scribbles in a notebook with a sour expression.

MIKE (CONT’D)
You see that woman over there? The one that
looks like she just licked a homeless guy’s
ass? Nothing matters until she writes five
hundred words about us in the New York Times.

RIGGAN
That's...
MIKE
Tabitha Dickinson. Yes. And, believe it or
not, the only thing that matters in theater
is whether she likes us or not. She does,
we run. She doesn't, we're fucked.

RIGGAN
(Preoccupied.)
She does look like she licked a homeless
guy’s ass.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 44.

MIKE
Do me a favor, don't get your panties in a
twist over a preview, alright? And don't tell
me how to do my job. Cause, this is my town.
And, to be honest, nobody gives a shit about
you around here.

LADY (O.S.)
You're Riggan Thompson, right?

Two fat tourists in "Mamma Mia" t-shirts, with a seven year old
kid, approach the table.

HUSBAND
(Timidly.)
We're sorry to interrupt...

LADY
Would you mind terribly if we got a
picture?
RIGGAN
Of course. It's no trouble at all.

The Lady shoves her camera into Mike's hands.

LADY
(To Mike.)
Would you mind?

Mike gets up with a blank expression and takes the camera.
The Lady pushes the kid into the booth next to Riggan.

LADY (CONT’D)
(Ordering Mike.)
The button right on top there.

KID
Who is this guy?

LADY
(To his son.)
Come on, Billy. He used to be like Batman.

She yanks the kid closer and they squeeze up against Riggan.
Mike takes the photo and holds the camera to the lady.

LADY (CONT’D)
(To Mike)
I think you screwed that one up. Take
another one.

Mike takes another picture.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 45.

LADY (CONT’D)
(To Riggan.)
God bless you, darlin’. You're very sweet.
And handsome!

She kisses Riggan hard on the mouth. Then gets up, giddy, and
takes her son by the hand. As the couple leaves, husband shoves
a five dollar bill into Mike’s hands.

HUSBAND
We really appreciate it.
An agitated Mike takes a sip of whiskey.

MIKE
Are we good here? Cause I’m gonna go.

RIGGAN
See you tomorrow.

Mike places the dollar under one of the shot glasses and begins
to walk away, but then stops and turns curiously.

MIKE
Why Raymond Carver? You never told me.

Riggan looks at Mike for a second, than reaches for his wallet
and produces an old cocktail napkin with some writing on it. He
slides it to Mike.

RIGGAN
A long time ago, I did a play back in
high school in Michigan. He was in the
audience. He sent this backstage after.

MIKE
"Thank you for an honest performance. Ray
Carver." What is this?

Riggan looks vulnerable. He is trying to make Mike understand
the importance of the napkin, to build a bridge between them.
RIGGAN
And that's when I knew I was going to
be an actor.

Mike can't stop himself from smiling.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Why is that funny?

MIKE
He wrote it on a cocktail napkin.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 46.

RIGGAN
So...

Mike slides the napkin back to Riggan.

MIKE
He was drunk.

A17 A17

He walks away and we follow him as he passes by the bar next
to Tabitha Dickinson, the Critic.

TABITHA
You headed to Hollywood, Mike?

Mike stops.
MIKE
Hollywood's headed here, Tabby.

TABITHA
(A devilish smile.)
Good luck with that.

Mike looks directly into her eyes.

MIKE
"A man becomes a critic when he can not be an
artist, in the same way that a man becomes an
informer when he cannot be a soldier."
Flaubert, right?

He flashes his own devilish smile. She stares back. If she
weren't so much older than him, you'd swear there was sexual
electricity between them.

TABITHA
He's a Hollywood clown in a Lycra bird
suit.

MIKE
Yeah. And at 8 o'clock tomorrow, he's gonna
get on stage and risk everything. What're
you gonna be doing?

A standoff.

TABITHA
Don't you ever worry that I'll give you a
bad review?



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 47.

MIKE
Oh, I'm sure you will. If I ever give a bad
performance.
(Beat.)
Ms. Dickinson.

TABITHA
Mr. Shiner.

Mike smiles and waves over to an obviously nervous Riggan. He
goes toward the exit, but we stay with Tabitha, scribbling on
her notebook. Suddenly she raises her eyes and, with a dark
expression, looks at Riggan who is passing by.

We follow Riggan toward the exit. Through the window we see him
leave the restaurant. Then we pan to a wooden wall, and this
wall takes us to...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In the costume department of the theater, Mike Shiner's inappropriate behavior causes chaos and frustration. Larry, the costume designer, struggles to find appropriate clothes for Mike, who is completely naked. Lesley, another actor, enters and is shocked by the situation. Sam, Riggan's daughter, is also present and remains unfazed. Lesley confronts Mike about his behavior and asks him not to ruin their Broadway production. Mike tries to make amends, but Lesley is still upset and leaves. The scene ends with Larry returning with clothes for Mike. Amidst the chaos, Laura reveals to Riggan that she is pregnant, leading to a mix of emotions and confusion.
Strengths "The scene effectively portrays chaos and frustration, the dialogue is sharp and engaging, and the performances of the actors are strong. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds an unexpected twist to the story."
Weaknesses "There are no significant weaknesses in the scene."

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively portrays the chaos and frustration caused by Mike's behavior, and the revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds an unexpected twist to the story. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, and the performances of the actors convey the emotions of the characters effectively.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of the scene revolves around the chaos caused by Mike's inappropriate behavior and the emotional impact of Laura's pregnancy revelation. It effectively explores the dynamics between the characters and sets up conflicts and tensions.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the chaos in the costume department and the emotional revelation of Laura's pregnancy. It moves the story forward by introducing conflicts and tensions among the characters.

Originality: 7

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of dealing with a fan's request for a picture is familiar, the dialogue and character interactions bring a fresh and humorous perspective to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are effectively portrayed. The conflicts and tensions between the characters create engaging dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the emotions and conflicts experienced by the characters contribute to their development and growth throughout the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to convince Riggan to stop caring about the audience's reaction and focus on the play. This reflects the protagonist's desire for artistic integrity and his fear of being judged by others.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to handle a fan's request for a picture. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with the public and maintaining a positive image.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with conflicts and tensions, both internal and external. The chaos caused by Mike's behavior creates frustration and tension among the characters, and the revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds another layer of emotional complexity.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong because the protagonist faces challenges from both the critic and the fan. The audience is unsure of how these interactions will go, adding tension and conflict to the scene.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are relatively high, as the chaos and tensions threaten the success of the Broadway production and the personal relationships of the characters. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds another layer of emotional stakes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing conflicts and tensions among the characters and revealing the unexpected twist of Laura's pregnancy. It sets up further developments and complications in the plot.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected interactions between the characters, such as the fan's request for a picture and the protagonist's response to the critic. These moments add a sense of surprise and uncertainty to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between artistic integrity and commercial success. The protagonist believes that the opinion of one influential critic can make or break a play, while the critic believes that the protagonist is a Hollywood clown.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a mix of emotions, including frustration, confusion, and vulnerability. The conflicts and tensions between the characters create emotional intensity.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, witty, and engaging. It effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters and drives the conflicts and tensions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines humor, tension, and character development. The witty dialogue and the conflict between the characters keep the audience interested and invested in the scene.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective because it balances moments of tension and conflict with moments of humor and character development. The dialogue and actions flow smoothly, keeping the scene engaging and dynamic.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It uses proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The action lines are clear and concise.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, followed by character actions and dialogue. The scene has a clear beginning, middle, and end.


Critique
  • The scene starts off with Mike standing at the bar, but it is not clear who Mike is or his relationship to Riggan and Jake. It would be helpful to establish his character earlier in the screenplay.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Mike feels a bit repetitive and could be tightened up to make it more impactful.
  • The interaction with the fat tourists and the photo-taking moment feels out of place and disrupts the tension and urgency of the scene.
  • The conversation between Mike and Tabitha at the end feels forced and doesn't add much to the overall conflict between Riggan and Jake.
  • The scene ends abruptly with Riggan leaving the bar, but it would be more effective to have a stronger closing moment that leaves the audience wanting more.
Suggestions
  • Introduce Mike earlier in the screenplay and establish his relationship with Riggan and Jake.
  • Condense and streamline the dialogue between Riggan and Mike to make it more impactful.
  • Consider removing the interaction with the fat tourists and the photo-taking moment to maintain the tension and urgency of the scene.
  • Reconsider the conversation between Mike and Tabitha at the end and find a way to make it more relevant to the main conflict.
  • Create a stronger closing moment for the scene that leaves the audience wanting more.



Scene 15 - Revelation and Conflict
19 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - LATER 19

...the theater hallway. Riggan walks through the quiet corridor,
until he arrives at...

20 INT. GREEN ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 20
...the Green Room. Sam sits listlessly, drawing some lines
across a roll of toilet paper.

RIGGAN
What're you still doing here?

SAM
(Continues scribbling.)
Nothing. I’m-- Nothing. Your costumes are
hanging in your room.

RIGGAN
Great...

SAM
I got the coconut water you wanted. If you
want me to get--

RIGGAN
Hey.

SAM
What?

RIGGAN
I'm not sure if I said thank you.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 48.

SAM
For what?

RIGGAN
All of it. You've been doing a good job.
And I've been...

SAM
Yeah.

RIGGAN
So, I just wanted to say that--
(He stops abruptly.)
What is that?

SAM
What...?

RIGGAN
That smell.
SAM
I don't--

RIGGAN
Look at me.

SAM
What are you--

RIGGAN
Look at me.

She does. He examines her eyes, then immediately rises, scouring
the room.

SAM
Dad...

RIGGAN
(Continuing to search.)
You have to be shitting me... Where is it?

SAM
Could we not do this?

Riggan pulls a jar of peanut butter from the trash.

RIGGAN
What is this?

SAM
That is chunky peanut butter that happens,
by the way, to have Omega--

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 49.

Riggan pulls a stubbed joint out of the jar.

RIGGAN
This.

SAM
Oh. That's pot.

RIGGAN
Sam.
SAM
Alright, just relax.

RIGGAN
Relax? What the hell are you doing?

SAM
Protecting myself from cataracts?

RIGGAN
You can't do this to me!

SAM
To you?

RIGGAN
SHUT UP! You know what I'm talking about.

SAM
Yeah. You're talking about you. What else
is new?

RIGGAN
Don't try to--

SAM
What? Make it about me? I wouldn't dream of
it.

RIGGAN
Listen to me. I'm trying to do something
that's important...

SAM
This is not important.

RIGGAN
It's important to me! Alright? Maybe not to
you, or your cynical playmates whose sole
ambition is to end up going viral and who,
by the way, will only be remembered as the
generation that finally stopped talking to
one another. But to me... To me... This is--
God. This is my career, this is my chance
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 50.
RIGGAN (CONT'D)
to do some work that actually means
something.

SAM
Means something to who? You had a career
before the third comic book movie, before
people began to forget who was inside the
bird costume. You're doing a play based on
a book that was written 60 years ago, for
a thousand rich, old white people whose
only real concern is gonna be w