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Scene 1 -  Riggan's Pre-Show Routine
F O R Y O U R C O N S I D E R A T I O N




BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Written by
Alejandro G. Iñárritu
Nicolás Giacobone
Alexander Dinelaris, Jr.
Armando Bo
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Written by
Alejandro G. Iñárritu
Nicolás Giacobone
Alexander Dinelaris, Jr.
Armando Bo



© 2013 DINOSAUR OUT, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PORTION OF THIS SCRIPT MAY BE
PERFORMED, PUBLISHED, REPRODUCED, SOLD OR DISTRIBUTED BY ANY MEANS, OR QUOTED OR
PUBLISHED IN ANY MEDIUM, INCLUDING ANY WEB SITE, WITHOUT THE PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT
OF DINOSAUR OUT, INC. DISPOSAL OF THIS SCRIPT COPY DOES NOT ALTER ANY OF THE
RESTRICTIONS SET FORTH ABOVE.
1 BLACK 1

We hear a clock ticking.

FADE IN:

1 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - DAY 1
Close on the brilliant colors of a middle eastern rug, the
center of what seems to be a makeshift “meditation” space.

We slowly tilt up to discover the back of Riggan Thomson (55).
He is in the proper ‘Lotus’ position, dressed only in tight
white briefs and he appears to be meditating deeply. And if all
this seems a little odd, it becomes all the more so when you
notice that he is levitating almost two feet above the floor.
His breath is calm and measured... in and out... in and out.

MAN (V.O.)
How did we end up here?
(Beat.)
This place is a fucking dump.

We begin to slowly move toward Riggan's back while his measure
breathing continues. We see a clock on the wall, ticking.

MAN (V.O.)
Smells like balls.

A slight twitch in Riggan's neck.

MAN (V.O.)
We don't belong in this shithole.

A Skype call shatters the silence. Close on his back, we follow
Riggan as he walks over to the computer and answers the call.
On the computer screen appears Sam (21), in a pair of Levi's
and a Led Zeppelin T-shirt. She has simple and striking good
looks, with an edge in her voice and behind her eyes. She
stands in a Korean Deli among the flowers, talking to Riggan
through her iPhone.

1A 1A

The Korean Store owner (50) stands in the background screaming
at her the whole time.

RIGGAN
Sam, I can't--



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 2.

SAM
Dad? What kind of--
(Turning to Korean.)
SHUT UP!!!
(Back to screen.)
What kind of flowers did you say you
wanted?

RIGGAN
Alchemillas. Or something soothing that
smells nice. Listen I can’t--
SAM
It all smells like fucking Kimchi!

RIGGAN
Then whatever looks nice. Anything but
roses. No roses.

KOREAN
Flowers don't need you touch! They need you
buy!!!

SAM
(Close into the screen.)
I hate this job.

And the Skype call is over. Riggan closes the laptop and leans
forward trying to regain his calm. His reflection appears in
the mirror, and for the first time we see his face. He has a
dark goatee and his hair looks strangely abundant. There is a
piece of paper on the mirror with the handwritten phrase “A
thing is a thing, not what it is said of that thing.”

ANNIE ON SPEAKERS
Riggan, they’re starting scene
five. We need you on stage.

RIGGAN
Shit...
Riggan throws on a sweater and stumbles into his slacks. He
hurries out...

2 INT. HALLWAYS - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 2

...through the narrow corridors of the theater. There is a lot
of activity as various workers and stage hands appear and
disappear carrying equipment and scenery. As Riggan descends the
stairs, a Stage Hand· passes by in the opposite direction.

STAGE HAND·
Mr. Thomson.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 3.

RIGGAN
Steve.

STAGE HAND·
It’s Daniel.

RIGGAN
(Already passed.)
Okay.

Riggan continues on until he arrives backstage. He runs into
Jake (42) his producer and friend.

JAKE
How’s it going, buddy.

RIGGAN
Great. It’d be even better if I
could get Ralph to stop acting like
he’s in an educational video for
syphilis...
The camera moves off of them and onto...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In his dressing room, Riggan meditates and receives a Skype call from his daughter, Sam. He asks her to buy flowers for him and tells her not to buy roses. Sam tells him that she hates her job and the call ends. Riggan closes the laptop and tries to regain his calm. He looks at his reflection in the mirror and reads a handwritten phrase on it: 'A thing is a thing, not what is said of that thing.' An announcement signals the start of scene five, and Riggan hurries out of his dressing room into the hallways of the theater, where he encounters a stage hand and his producer, Jake. He tells Jake he would prefer Ralph's acting to be less exaggerated.
Strengths
  • Witty dialogue
  • Character development
  • Setting establishment
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Slightly chaotic pacing

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively sets up the protagonist's character and the chaotic world of the theater. The mix of humor and reflection adds depth.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a washed-up actor struggling with his personal and professional life in the theater is engaging and well-executed.

Plot: 7

The plot moves forward as we see the protagonist preparing for a scene amidst chaos, setting up potential conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as levitation, meditation, and a Korean Deli setting, which add freshness and originality to the familiar setting of a theater production. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined through their dialogue and actions, especially the protagonist and his daughter.

Character Changes: 6

The protagonist shows signs of frustration and resignation, hinting at potential character growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Riggan's internal goal is to find peace and calm amidst the chaos and pressure he is facing. His meditation and deep breathing reflect his need for inner balance and stability.

External Goal: 7

Riggan's external goal is to prepare for scene five and perform on stage. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the theater production.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There are hints of internal and external conflicts brewing, adding tension to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Riggan facing challenges from external pressures, conflicting relationships, and his own internal struggles. The audience is left wondering how he will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are not extremely high in this scene but are hinted at for future developments.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing key characters and conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the mix of surreal and mundane elements, unexpected character interactions, and the protagonist's internal struggles. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Riggan's desire for artistic integrity and the commercial pressures of the theater industry. This challenges his beliefs about the true meaning of success and fulfillment.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

While there are emotional moments, the scene is more focused on humor and character introduction.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, revealing character traits and relationships effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of surreal elements, dark humor, and character dynamics. The tension and conflict keep the audience invested in Riggan's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of slow and fast moments that build tension and maintain the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and character movements adds to the effectiveness of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene starts with an intriguing and visually captivating image of Riggan levitating in his dressing room, which sets a unique tone for the screenplay.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Sam over Skype provides insight into their relationship and adds depth to their characters.
  • The handwritten phrase 'A thing is a thing, not what is said of that thing' on the mirror adds a layer of symbolism and foreshadowing, but could be explored further in the script.
  • The transition from Riggan's dressing room to the theater hallway is smooth and maintains the flow of the scene.
  • The interaction between Riggan and the Stage Hand adds a touch of humor and realism to the setting.
  • The brief exchange between Riggan and Jake hints at the dynamics of their relationship and sets up potential conflicts to come.
  • Overall, the scene effectively introduces the main character, establishes the setting, and hints at the conflicts and themes that will unfold in the rest of the screenplay.
Suggestions
  • Consider delving deeper into the symbolism of Riggan's levitation and the phrase on the mirror to enhance the thematic elements of the screenplay.
  • Explore ways to further develop the characters of Riggan and Sam through their dialogue and interactions, adding more layers to their relationship.
  • Consider incorporating more visual cues or subtle hints to foreshadow future events or themes in the screenplay.
  • Continue to maintain the seamless transitions between different settings and characters to keep the narrative flow engaging for the audience.
  • Build upon the humor and realism in the interactions between characters to add depth and authenticity to the screenplay.



Scene 2 -  Dramatic Rehearsal Chaos
3 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 3
...the stage. Suddenly we are in the midst of an Americana style
kitchen.

Around the kitchen table sit Lesley (35), plain and no nonsense,
her simple hairstyle and makeup can't hide how attractive she
is. Laura (35), dark, exotic, the kind of woman who makes every
person she meets feel like she's seducing them. And Ralph (40),
slightly handsome, slightly balding, slightly invisible.

A half empty bottle of gin on the table, they drink from
highball glasses as they chat...

LESLEY
He loved me.

RALPH
Yeah. He loved her so much he tried
to kill her.

LAURA
He tried to kill you?

LESLEY
No. (A beat.) Okay, well, he did
beat me up one night. He dragged me
around the living room by my
ankles, yelling "I love you, I love
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 4.
LESLEY (CONT'D)
you, bitch." What do you do with a
love like that?

RALPH
How is that-- That is not love and you know
it. Why do you insist on calling it--

LESLEY
You can say what you want, but I know what
it was.
RALPH
What about you, Nick? Does that sound like
love to you?

Riggan arrives at the table and sits.

RIGGAN
Sorry I’m late.
(Beat. In character.)
I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't
know the man. I've only heard his name
mentioned in passing. You'd have to
know the particulars. But I think what
you're saying is that love is absolute.

RALPH
Yeah. The kind of love I'm talking about
is... The kind of love I'm talking about,
you don't try and kill people.

LESLEY
(Sadly.)
It was love, Mel. To Eddie, it was. I don't
care what anybody says. He was ready to die
for it.

RALPH
Ask her what he did after she left him.

LESLEY
He shot himself in the mouth. But he
screwed that up, too. Poor Ed.

RALPH
Poor Ed, my ass. The guy was dangerous.

LAURA
How'd he screw it up if he shot himself in
the mouth?

RALPH
(By the numbers.)
He used to carry this twenty-two. We lived
like fugitives those days. I never knew--
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 5.

RIGGAN
(Breaking character to direct.
Exasperated.)
Okay. Fugitives are on the run, Ralph. How
many times do I have to-- Fugitives are
scared. Give me more of that.

Ralph nods. He takes a breath and dives in once again...

RALPH
(The same but louder.)
We lived like fugitives those days...

Extremely frustrated, Riggan stares out into the auditorium.
From his POV we see Jake who is now sitting in the third row.
His head buried in his hands, tortured by Ralph’s performance.
Riggan turns back to Ralph.

RALPH (CONT'D)
...I never knew if he was going to come out
of the bushes or from behind a car and just
start shooting.

Riggan watches Ralph act and sees his whole production headed
down the drain. Ralph is just that bad.

RALPH (CONT’D)
The man was crazy. He was capable of
anything.

The actors all wait for a cue from Riggan, who is now staring
up into the lights above the stage. Laura finally picks up
Riggan’s cue.

LAURA
Christ. What a nightmare...

RALPH
He used to call me at the hospital and
say...
(Over the top.)
"Son of a bitch. Your days are numbered."

Silence. Ralph looks over to Riggan.

RALPH (CONT'D)
Too much? Little bit? I just wanted to give
you a range, so you could--

And with that a light comes barreling down from it's perch and
crashes into Ralph's head, making him hit the floor like a rag
doll. Silence.

LAURA
Holy shit.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 6.

Lesley and Annie (35), the Stage Manager, run over to Ralph
who is out cold. Not knowing what to do, they stare at him.

LESLEY
Is he breathing?

Jake runs toward the stage.

JAKE
Someone call 911!
Riggan slowly backs away from the chaos.

LAURA
Is that blood coming out of his
ear?

JAKE
(To Riggan.)
Where are you going?
LESLEY
Okay, he’s breathing. What did he
have for lunch?

LAURA
Did anyone call for help?

ANNIE
(Clapping.)
Wake up! Wake up!

Two crew members try to help Ralph.

CREW MEMBER
Grab his legs. I got the top.

JAKE
Don't move him! Wait for the ambulance.
(Calling out.)
For the love of God! I could get a black
audience in this theater faster than a
doctor!

Riggan heads off the stage, and Jake chases after him. We
follow them as...
Genres: ["Drama","Dark Comedy"]

Summary The scene takes place in a theater on a stage where Lesley, Laura, and Ralph are discussing a past abusive relationship. Riggan arrives late and joins the conversation. Jake witnesses Ralph getting injured by a falling light, causing chaos and panic. The conflict arises as the characters debate the consequences of love in an abusive relationship, with no resolution in sight.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Complex character relationships
  • Unexpected twist
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly dramatic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys a sense of tension and mystery through the dialogue and actions of the characters, keeping the audience engaged and intrigued.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the complexities of love and relationships, as well as the unexpected accident, adds depth and intrigue to the scene.

Plot: 7

The plot advances with the introduction of the accident and the characters' reactions, adding a layer of suspense and drama to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and authentic portrayal of complex relationships and emotional conflicts. The dialogue feels genuine and the characters' actions are unpredictable and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their interactions reveal their complex relationships and emotions, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Some characters show a shift in their perspectives and emotions due to the unfolding events, adding depth to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

Lesley's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with the abusive love she experienced and justify it as genuine love. This reflects her need for validation and understanding of her past trauma.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the chaotic situation that unfolds on stage after Ralph's accident. This reflects the immediate challenge of handling an emergency and maintaining control over the production.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the characters, their differing views on love, and the unexpected accident create a high level of tension and drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing unexpected challenges and conflicts that test their beliefs and relationships. The audience is left unsure of how the situation will unfold.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of love, danger, and the unexpected accident raise the tension and suspense in the scene, keeping the audience on edge.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, deepening character relationships, and setting up future events.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden accident that occurs, disrupting the conversation and adding a sense of urgency and chaos. The characters' reactions are unexpected and keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' differing perspectives on love and abuse. Lesley sees her past relationship as love, while Ralph and others view it as dangerous and unhealthy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, ranging from sadness to shock, keeping them engaged and invested in the story.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, intense, and reveals the inner thoughts and conflicts of the characters, driving the scene forward and creating tension.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflicts, unpredictable events, and sharp dialogue. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and the unfolding chaos.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and drama, with a gradual escalation of events leading to the climactic accident. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the scene's intensity.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is well-paced and engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the escalating tension and drama. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene starts off with a strong setup in an Americana style kitchen, but the dialogue feels a bit forced and lacks depth in exploring the characters' emotions and relationships.
  • The transition from the characters discussing a past abusive relationship to Ralph getting hit on the head by a falling light feels abrupt and disconnected.
  • Riggan's frustration with Ralph's performance is evident, but the scene could benefit from more nuanced reactions and interactions between the characters to build tension and drama.
  • The chaos and panic that ensue after Ralph is hit by the light could be portrayed with more intensity and urgency to heighten the stakes and engage the audience.
  • The dialogue could be more impactful and meaningful, delving deeper into the themes of love, abuse, and the consequences of actions to create a more compelling and thought-provoking scene.
Suggestions
  • Develop the characters' backstories and relationships further to add depth and complexity to the scene.
  • Consider a smoother transition between the discussion of the past abusive relationship and the incident with Ralph to maintain coherence and flow.
  • Enhance the emotional reactions and interactions between the characters to increase tension and drama in the scene.
  • Intensify the chaos and panic after Ralph is hit by the light to create a more gripping and suspenseful moment.
  • Revise the dialogue to be more profound and meaningful, exploring the themes of love, abuse, and consequences in a more impactful way.



Scene 3 -  Postponing the Preview
4 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 4

...they walk through the corridor.

JAKE
Where are you going? We’ll have the
understudy ready to rehearse in five--
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 7.

RIGGAN
Forget the understudy. We have to postpone
the preview.

JAKE
What are you-- It’s a full house. We would
have to refund all the--

RIGGAN
Then do it.
A crew member· passes in the opposite direction.

CREW MEMBER·
How’s Ralph?

RIGGAN
He’ll be fine.

JAKE
Wait. Wait. Fuck. Wait.
RIGGAN
Listen to me. It was going to be a
disaster. That guy’s the worst actor I've
ever seen. The blood coming out of his ear
was the most honest thing he's done so far.

JAKE
He's not that bad.

Riggan stops in his tracks and stares at Jake.

JAKE (CONT'D)
Okay, he's fucking horrible. But--

Riggan starts walking again.

JAKE (CONT’D)
You have the press in your dressing
room in a few hours. How are we--
RIGGAN
I'll make something up.

Two Technicians· hurry up in the opposite direction.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Jake. This happened for a reason. It wasn't
an accident.

JAKE
What do you mean?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 8.

RIGGAN
I-- (A beat.) I made it happen.

JAKE
Oh. Okay.
(Beat.)
Are you drunk?

RIGGAN
Find me an actor. A good actor.
Philip Seymour Hoffman...
JAKE
He’s doing the third Hunger Games.

RIGGAN
Michael Fassbender?

JAKE
Doing the prequel to the X-Men
prequel.
They arrive at Riggan's dressing room.

RIGGAN
What’s his name? Jeremy Renner...

JAKE
Who?

RIGGAN
The... the Hurt Locker guy.

JAKE
Yeah. He’s an Avenger.

RIGGAN
(With disgust.)
Fuck. They put him in a cape, too?
(A beat.) Look, I don’t care. Find
me someone.
Riggan enters...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan abruptly decides to postpone the preview despite Jake's concerns. Riggan insists the performance was a disaster and that Ralph, the understudy, was the worst actor he's ever seen. Jake reluctantly agrees but is worried about the press conference in a few hours. Riggan hints that he may have intentionally caused Ralph's injury, which Jake initially dismisses. Riggan asks Jake to find a better actor, but Jake points out that all the good actors are busy with other projects.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Humorous tone
  • Effective plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant character development in this scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the chaotic and humorous tone while advancing the plot and revealing character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of a theater production facing multiple challenges and the protagonist's struggle to find a replacement actor is engaging and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as the protagonist deals with the aftermath of an accident and makes crucial decisions regarding the play's future.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the struggles of a theater production, blending humor with drama and exploring themes of artistic integrity and self-deception. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and nuanced.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' interactions and reactions to the unfolding events add depth and humor to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the events set the stage for potential development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Riggan's internal goal is to salvage his failing production and prove his worth as an actor. This reflects his deeper need for validation and recognition in the face of self-doubt and insecurity.

External Goal: 7

Riggan's external goal is to find a replacement actor for the lead role in his play after the current actor's injury. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in maintaining the production's integrity and success.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict arises from the protagonist's struggle to salvage the play and find a replacement actor amidst chaos and setbacks.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Riggan faces challenges from external factors like the injured actor and internal conflicts like his own insecurities.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as the protagonist faces the possibility of a failed production and the need to find a replacement actor quickly.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing obstacles and decisions that will impact the play's outcome.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is somewhat predictable in terms of its outcome, as the conflict and resolution are foreshadowed through the characters' dialogue and actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of control and manipulation in art. Riggan's admission that he caused the actor's injury challenges traditional beliefs about artistic integrity and the lengths one would go to achieve success.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, including frustration, amusement, and empathy for the characters' predicaments.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the characters' personalities effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced dialogue, conflict-driven interactions, and the sense of urgency in the characters' actions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest, with a balance of dialogue-driven moments and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to standard screenplay conventions, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a typical format for a dialogue-driven sequence in a screenplay, with clear character interactions and progression of the plot.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong conflict between Riggan and Jake regarding the decision to postpone the preview, which creates tension and sets the tone for the rest of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Jake feels natural and reflects their characters well, but it could benefit from more subtext and layers to deepen the interaction.
  • The revelation that Riggan may have intentionally caused Ralph's injury adds an intriguing twist to the scene, but it could be explored further to enhance the complexity of Riggan's character.
  • The scene effectively conveys Riggan's frustration and desperation, but it could benefit from more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotional impact.
  • The pacing of the scene is well-maintained, but there could be more dynamic movement or blocking to add visual interest and engage the audience.
  • Overall, the scene effectively sets up the conflict and stakes for Riggan's character, but it could be further developed to deepen the emotional resonance and thematic elements.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext and layers to the dialogue between Riggan and Jake to enhance the complexity of their relationship and motivations.
  • Explore Riggan's internal conflict and guilt over potentially causing Ralph's injury in more depth to add depth to his character arc.
  • Introduce more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotional impact of the scene and engage the audience on a visual level.
  • Experiment with different blocking or movement to create a more dynamic and visually interesting scene that complements the emotional intensity of the dialogue.
  • Consider incorporating moments of silence or pauses to allow the tension and stakes to build, adding depth to the scene and allowing the audience to connect with the characters on a deeper level.



Scene 4 -  Riggan's Dressing Room Chaos
5 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 5

...his dressing room and tries to shut the door. Jake, still in
the corridor, stops it with his foot.

JAKE
(Sticking his head in.)
Ralph'll sue us. He'll sue us. And he's got
a case.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 9.

Riggan releases the door.

RIGGAN
Then make him go away.

JAKE
How do you suggest I do that?

RIGGAN
You're my lawyer, my producer and
my oldest friend. We are going to
make this work. Now just get out
there and do what you were born to
do.

JAKE
What's that?

RIGGAN
I have no idea. But I have faith.
Now go away from me.
JAKE
Do you think we should--

Riggan slams the door shut on Jake. A beat. On a television, a
segment of E! News. A busty blond, with an exaggerated smile,
hosts.

BLOND WOMAN
...and when we come back, an exclusive
interview with Robert Downey Jr., who tells
us about the billion-dollar Iron Man
franchise. The talented actor invited us
onto the set of Iron Man 3...

Riggan slams the tv off, his mind racing. He sits on a chair.

MAN (V.O.)
That clown doesn’t have half your talent
and he’s making a fortune in that Tin Man
get up.

Riggan stares into the mirror, in the reflection he catches
sight of a poster from a movie called "Birdman 3". The
superhero, Birdman (a younger Riggan in a bird costume), wings
widely spread, stares directly back at him. A hand written
note on the top of the poster reads: "Thomson, break a wing!
From the boys at Local 1." Riggan tries to calm himself with a
mantra...

RIGGAN
"Breathing in, I embrace my anger.
Breathing out, I smile to it."

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 10.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Embrace it. Kiss it. Turn it around and
fuck it in the--

A knock on the door behind him.

RIGGAN
Not now!

Laura opens the door and sticks her head in.
LAURA
Can I come in?

RIGGAN
No.

LAURA
Okay. Two words. Shia La Beouf.

RIGGAN
That's three words.

LAURA
It's two.

RIGGAN
Get out.

LAURA
I love you.

She closes the door. Riggan tries to calm himself down, but
Laura opens the door again.

LAURA (CONT'D)
I take it we’re not going to dinner
anymore?

RIGGAN
I don’t have an actor.
LAURA
I don’t have a life.

RIGGAN
Laura...

LAURA
Fine. Whatever.
(Goes to leave but stops.)
You remember at Joan's when you
asked me to come do a Broadway play
with you? You said it would be
fun...
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 11.

RIGGAN
Go away.

LAURA
So far? No fun.

Riggan closes the door and looks at the Birdman poster.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Fun? You know what would be fun? Getting
the fuck out of here before we humiliate
ourselves. That would be fun.

Riggan looks at himself in the mirror and begins to pull at
his hair. As it comes off his head, we discover it was a wig.
He turns away from the mirror, trying desperately to stay
calm. Something catches his eye: a vase of roses on the end
of the table. A card in them says, "They didn't have the
whatever you wanted - Sam". Enraged, Riggan focuses on the
vase. It begins to shift. Then, with a surge of anger,
without ever touching it, he sends it crashing against the
wall on the other side of the room.

The camera pans over the roses scattered across the floor. It
hovers over the carpet and around the perimeter of the room,
until it finally settles on Riggan, now dressed in a casual
blazer.

A5 A5

It is later the same day. He is sitting on the sofa and on three
chairs in front of him are three journalists:

Gabriel, a geeky theatre journalist, wearing thick glasses and
a thin tie. Clara, a reporter from an entertainment blog. And
Han, a polite, obese Japanese journalist, who sits next to his
translator, another Japanese guy.

GABRIEL
Why does somebody go from playing the lead
in a comic book franchise to adapting
Raymond Carver for the stage?

Riggan tries to remain calm.

GABRIEL (CONT’D)
I mean, as you're probably aware, Barthes
said, “The cultural work done in the past
by gods and epic sagas is now done by
laundry detergent commercials and comic
strip characters.” It's a big leap you've
taken...

Riggan shifts nervously.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 12.

RIGGAN
Well... Absolutely. As you said... that
Barthes said... Birdman, like Icarus...

CLARA
Hang on. Who's this Barthes guy? Which
Birdman was he in?

GABRIEL
Roland Barthes was a French philosopher,
who--
CLARA
Oh. Okay. Sure. Now, is it true you’ve been
injecting yourself with semen from baby
pigs?

RIGGAN
What?

CLARA
As a method of facial rejuvenation.

RIGGAN
Who told you that?

CLARA
It was tweeted by... (checks her notes)
@prostatewhispers.

RIGGAN
It's a lie.

CLARA
I know. But did you do it?

RIGGAN
No!

GABRIEL
Are you afraid at all that people will say
you're doing this play to battle the
impression that you're a washed-up super
hero?

RIGGAN
No. I’m not. And that’s exactly why
20 years ago I refused to do
Birdman 4.

HAN
Birdman 4??? You do Birdman 4???

Jake opens the door and the camera pans to him.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 13.

JAKE
Okay. That's enough for today.
Thank you for coming. We’re
expecting some great pieces from
you...

Riggan stares at the Birdman poster.

JAKE (CONT’D)
Publicity guys are trying to get
you a Times feature.
Riggan stands up and pulls the Birdman poster off of the
wall.

JAKE (CONT’D)
So, How’d it-- Whoa. If I were you
I wouldn’t do that.

RIGGAN
I don’t want to look at it anymore.
JAKE
That was a present from the crew.
Don’t fuck with those guys, they’re
union.

RIGGAN
I don’t care.

Riggan leaves the poster on the floor, facing the wall, and
walks to the window. He opens it. We can hear distant drums
coming from the street.

JAKE
So... How'd it go?

RIGGAN
Great.

JAKE
(Worried.)
Did they ask about Ralph?

RIGGAN
Nope.

JAKE
Good. He did it, you know? The
motherfucker threatened to sue us.
Didn’t even wait to get out of the
hospital.

RIGGAN
And, what did you say?
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 14.

JAKE
What’d I say? I said, "You
motherfucker. You’re threatening
me? ME? I swear to god, you fuck, I
so much as get a letter from a
lawyer, the press’ll get the
pictures we got off your computer.”

RIGGAN
What pictures?
JAKE
The guy has a thing for nuns... in
diapers. What do you care? You
shouldn’t have any knowledge about
it anyway. The important thing is
that I made him go away.

RIGGAN
Right. That's great.
JAKE
Yeah, it’s fantastic. One problem.
We don't have an actor. And if we
cancel the first preview the press
will smell the blood. We can't
afford to lose any more money. At
all.

RIGGAN
What do you want me to do?

JAKE
We pay an understudy, let’s use the
understudy.

RIGGAN
No.

JAKE
No? Riggan, listen to me. Our dream actor
is not going to knock on that door and
say: "Hey fellas, when do we start?"

B5 B5

There is a knock at the door. Leslie peeks in.

LESLIE
Can I talk to you for a second?

RIGGAN
Yeah. What’s up?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 15.

LESLIE
Did you find another actor?

RIGGAN
No.

LESLIE
Okay. Well... Mike's available.

RIGGAN
He is?
JAKE
Mike who?

RIGGAN
I thought he was doing--

LESLIE
He was. He quit. Or got fired.
JAKE
Mike who?

RIGGAN
Which one? Quit or fired?

LESLIE
With Mike it's usually both.

JAKE
Mike Fucking Who?

LESLIE
Shiner.

JAKE
Yes!

RIGGAN
Jake...
JAKE
Yes! How do you know Mike Shiner?

LESLIE
We share a vagina.

RIGGAN
You think he'd want to do it?

LESLIE
Yeah.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 16.

JAKE
How do you know?

LESLIE
Because he said he'd want to do it.

JAKE
Yes!

RIGGAN
Jake. Hang on a minute.
JAKE
(to Riggan)
Ask me if he sells tickets.

RIGGAN
Does he sell tickets?

JAKE
A shitload of tickets. Now ask me if the
critics like him?

RIGGAN
Do they like him?

JAKE
They want to spooge on him.

RIGGAN
(Indicating Lesley.)
Hey.

JAKE
Leslie...

LESLIE
Right on his face.

JAKE
Everything for a reason, right?
RIGGAN
You think he'll be able to come tonight?

LESLEY
I can call him and find out.

Riggan gives Jake a look.

JAKE
I'll call his agent.

Jake charges out of the room. The camera follows him into...
10/29/14 / 17.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan tackles mounting issues in his dressing room: a potential lawsuit, a fraught interview, and the need for a replacement actor. Amidst the chaos, the possibility of Mike Shiner arises, offering a glimmer of hope.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Complex character relationships
  • Humor in a tense situation
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too sarcastic for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, filled with tension, humor, and conflict. It effectively sets up the stakes for the characters and advances the plot.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of finding a replacement actor to save the play is compelling and drives the conflict in the scene. The idea of using a controversial actor like Mike Shiner adds depth to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed, with clear goals for the characters and a sense of urgency. The introduction of Mike Shiner as a potential replacement actor adds an interesting twist.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases original situations and fresh approaches to character interactions, with authentic dialogue that captures the complexity of human emotions and relationships.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are well-defined and their relationships are complex. Riggan's desperation, Jake's pragmatism, and Leslie's manipulative nature all come through effectively.

Character Changes: 6

Riggan shows signs of desperation and manipulation, while Jake demonstrates his loyalty and pragmatism. Leslie's manipulative nature is further revealed.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his composure and control over the escalating challenges he faces, reflecting his deeper need for validation and success in the face of doubt and criticism.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find a replacement actor for the play to avoid cancellation and negative press, reflecting the immediate circumstances and challenges he's facing in the production.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with Riggan facing the threat of losing his play and the pressure to find a replacement actor. The tension between the characters adds to the conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing difficult decisions and conflicting motivations that create tension and uncertainty about the outcome.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for Riggan, as the success of his play and his reputation are on the line. Finding a replacement actor becomes crucial for the future of the production.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the possibility of a replacement actor and setting up the next steps for the characters. It raises the stakes for Riggan.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in character motivations and the shifting power dynamics that keep the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the protagonist's struggle with his own identity and legacy as an actor, as well as the superficiality and scrutiny of the entertainment industry. This challenges his beliefs about artistic integrity and personal fulfillment.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to humor to empathy for Riggan's predicament. The emotional stakes are high for the characters.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp and witty, reflecting the characters' personalities and adding depth to the interactions. The banter between the characters adds humor to the tense situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, dynamic character interactions, and escalating tension that keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and introspection with rapid-fire dialogue and escalating conflicts that maintain the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear character motivations and escalating conflicts that drive the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a tense interaction between Riggan and Jake, where Riggan is dismissive and agitated. This sets the tone for the rest of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and the journalists feels forced and lacks subtlety. The questions about injecting baby pig semen and the reference to Barthes seem out of place and distract from the main conflict.
  • The transition from the conversation with the journalists to the conversation with Jake and Leslie feels abrupt and disjointed.
  • The revelation about Mike Shiner being available and the excitement from Jake and Leslie seems rushed and lacks buildup. It would benefit from more context and development.
  • The scene ends with a lot of information being thrown at the audience in a short amount of time, making it feel overwhelming and chaotic.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to have a smoother flow of information and interactions between the characters.
  • Focus on developing the conflict and tension between Riggan, Jake, and Leslie to create a more engaging and dynamic scene.
  • Refine the dialogue with the journalists to be more subtle and relevant to the main storyline.
  • Build up the revelation about Mike Shiner's availability to create more anticipation and impact.
  • Consider ending the scene on a more impactful and cohesive note to leave a lasting impression on the audience.



Scene 5 -  Unexpected Encounter
6 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 6

...the hallway and as Jake makes a left turn, Annie enters from
the right.

JAKE
Annie, turn the work lights on and get me a
fresh copy of the script. We’re gonna have
a “put in” tonight.

ANNIE
Who?
JAKE
You’ll find out...

Jake disappears down the hall and we follow Annie through the
theater and onto...

7 INT. STAGE - THEATER - EVENING 7
...the stage, where she turns some of the stage work lights on.
We pan along the stage until we find Riggan, wearing the same
clothes as before, scanning the empty auditorium.

MIKE (O.S.)
Intimidating. Isn't it?

Riggan sees Mike Shiner (39) coming down the aisle, slovenly
dressed with mussed hair and intense eyes.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Do you have any idea who walked these
boards before you?
(Beat.)
Geraldine Page, Marlon Brando,
Helen Hayes, Jason Robards... And
now you. Riggan Thomson.

Riggan, trying to hide the intimidation.

RIGGAN
Thanks for coming on such short notice,
Mike. I appreciate it.

MIKE
Hey. This is what we do.
(Indicates a script.)
So, you wrote this adaptation?

RIGGAN
I did.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 18.

MIKE
And you're directing the adaptation and
starring...

RIGGAN
I am.

MIKE
Ambitious.

RIGGAN
Thank you.

A sly smile from Mike. He leaps onto the stage.

MIKE
Why don't we do a bit of it?

RIGGAN
Hey, I wasn't expecting you to--
MIKE
First preview is tomorrow, right?

RIGGAN
Yeah, but you can go on with the script
until you feel comfortable--

MIKE
Let's just do some of it.

Riggan tries to hide his excitement. He grabs the script from a
nearby table and walks it over to Mike.

RIGGAN
Take a look at page twenty--

MIKE
Yeah. I don't need that.

RIGGAN
What?

MIKE
I don't need the script. Just give me a
cue.

RIGGAN
What are you talking about?

MIKE
Feed me a line.

RIGGAN
I don’t-- What?
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 19.

MIKE
Feed. Me. A line.

Riggan drops the script and begins the scene.

RIGGAN
“I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't
know the man. I've only heard his name
mentioned in passing. I wouldn't know.
You'd have to know the particulars. But
I think what you're saying is that love
is absolute.”

Mike stares at Riggan, hyper-focused.

MIKE
(Ruminating.)
Am I saying that love is absolute?
(He transforms.)
"Yeah. The kind of love I'm talking about
is. The kind of love I'm talking about you--
"
(An intense pause.)
Well, you don't try to kill people.

Riggan is transfixed, and almost immediately intimidated.

RIGGAN
How do you know the lines?

MIKE
I have a thing, a whatever, a gift.
(A beat.) Come on, I helped Lesley get
off book. Hey, give me that cue again.

RIGGAN
"I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't
know the man. I've only heard his name
mentioned in passing. I wouldn't know.
You'd have to know the particulars. But
I think what you're saying is--”
MIKE
Okay, can I-- Do you mind if I--

RIGGAN
No, go ahead.

MIKE
Follow me. He says, "I'm the wrong
person to ask." What's his intention?
Is he fed up with the topic?
Deflecting? Guilt about his wife maybe?
Then four sentences all say the same
thing... "I didn't even know the man."
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 20.
MIKE (CONT'D)
"I've only heard his name mentioned in
passing." “I wouldn't know.” "You'd
have to know the particulars." First of
all, particulars? What are you, my
grandmother? But the point is, YOU
DON'T KNOW THE GUY, WE FUCKING GET IT.
Make it one line. "I didn't even know
the guy." Right? ...

RIGGAN
You pretty much know my lines too, huh?
MIKE
Can we-- Are we doing something here? Come
on let's go. Cut it down, give it to me
again.

RIGGAN
"I'm the wrong person to ask--"

MIKE
Oh, right, sorry, you see? "I'm the wrong
person to ask?" That's another fuck you.
"Don't put me on the spot. Don't make me
self conscious about my marriage when my
wife is sitting right here..." See? Give
it to me. Give me a good fuck you. Come
on...

RIGGAN
Okay, let me--

MIKE
Come on. Give it to me right now. Fuck me.
Right now. Right here. Let's do it.

RIGGAN
Okay, yeah...

MIKE
DO IT!
RIGGAN
(Jumps in w/out thinking.)
"Hey. I'm the wrong person to ask, okay? I
didn't even know the guy. So what's your
point?"

MIKE
"What's my point?"

RIGGAN
"What's your point? What are you saying?
Spit it out. You're saying, what? That love
is an absolute?"
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 21.

MIKE
(Exploding.)
"Yeah! Alright? The kind of love I'm
talking about is absolute. The kind of love
I'm talking about you--
(A painful memory.)
Well, you don't try to kill people.

Riggan stands silently, his heart pounding.

MIKE (CONT’D)
So what do you think, boss? Do I have a
job?

Riggan calls over to the wings.

RIGGAN
What do you think?

Mike turns to see Sam, who has been there for a bit.
SAM
Larry needs to see him for a fitting.

MIKE
I'm gonna take that as a yes.
(Walking to Sam.)
And you are...?

RIGGAN
That's my daughter, Sam.

MIKE
Right. Yeah. I can see it around the... (A
beat) She doesn't look anything like you.
(To Sam.)
And your job is...?

RIGGAN
She's my assistant.
MIKE
Your assistant...
(To Sam.)
And can you speak?

SAM
Yup. I can even 'sit', 'stay' or 'roll
over' if you have any treats.

RIGGAN
Welcome aboard, Mike.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 22.

MIKE
(Mock saluting.)
Thank you, Captain.

We follow Mike and Sam off as they...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In the hallway of a theater, Jake asks Annie to turn on the work lights and get him a fresh copy of the script. On the stage, Annie illuminates the work lights as Mike Shiner arrives. Mike suggests a rehearsal, but Riggan, the director and star of the play, initially hesitates. He reluctantly agrees to feed Mike a line. Mike delivers an unforgettable interpretation of the lines, captivating Riggan. Riggan offers Mike a job, which Mike accepts. Mike and Sam, Riggan's assistant, then exit the stage.
Strengths
  • Dynamic character interactions
  • Sharp and witty dialogue
  • Intense and confrontational tone
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too confrontational for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, with strong character interactions and dialogue that keeps the audience intrigued. The tension between Riggan and Mike, along with the unexpected audition, adds excitement and depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of an impromptu audition between Riggan and Mike adds a unique and unexpected element to the scene, showcasing Mike's talent and challenging Riggan's abilities.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses as Riggan and Mike engage in the audition, revealing more about their characters and setting up potential conflicts and developments.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the behind-the-scenes world of theater, focusing on the dynamics between actors and directors. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Riggan and Mike are well-developed and their interactions are dynamic and engaging. Mike's unique talent and confrontational style contrast with Riggan's more reserved demeanor, creating an interesting dynamic.

Character Changes: 7

Both Riggan and Mike experience a shift in their dynamic during the audition, with Riggan being challenged by Mike's talent and confrontational style.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to impress Mike Shiner and prove his worth as a director and actor. This reflects his desire for validation and success in his artistic endeavors.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to rehearse a scene with Mike Shiner and ensure the play's success. This reflects the immediate challenge of preparing for the first preview.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Riggan and Mike, as well as the high stakes of the audition, create tension and drive the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Mike challenging Riggan's authority and artistic vision. The audience is left wondering how Riggan will respond to Mike's unconventional methods and critiques.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of the audition, as well as the potential impact on the play's success, add urgency and tension to the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing more about the characters, setting up potential conflicts, and advancing the plot towards the play's preview.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected challenges and revelations that arise during the rehearsal. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the characters will react or what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of artistic interpretation and collaboration. Mike challenges Riggan's traditional approach to acting and directing, forcing him to question his methods and beliefs.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The intense and confrontational nature of the scene, along with the humor and wit in the dialogue, evoke a range of emotions from the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals a lot about the characters' personalities and motivations. The banter between Riggan and Mike adds depth and humor to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense dialogue, character dynamics, and the sense of anticipation for the upcoming play preview. The interactions between Riggan and Mike keep the audience invested in their relationship and conflicts.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and action keeps the scene moving forward and adds to the overall intensity.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard screenplay format, making it easy to follow and visualize the action. It enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a character-driven drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear direction and purpose, leading to a lack of focus and coherence in the dialogue and interactions between the characters.
  • The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, with characters speaking in a way that doesn't feel authentic or engaging.
  • The introduction of Mike Shiner feels abrupt and his interactions with Riggan lack depth and meaningful development.
  • There is a lack of subtlety in the character interactions, with dialogue that is too on-the-nose and lacks nuance.
  • The scene could benefit from more subtext and layers to the character dynamics, creating a more engaging and compelling interaction.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth to the interactions between Riggan and Mike, exploring their relationship and motivations in a more nuanced way.
  • Work on making the dialogue more natural and authentic, focusing on creating realistic conversations that reveal character traits and emotions.
  • Introduce more subtext and layers to the scene, allowing for a deeper exploration of the characters' inner thoughts and conflicts.
  • Provide clearer direction for the scene, establishing a purpose and goal for the characters that drives the dialogue and interactions.
  • Consider revising the scene to create a more engaging and dynamic exchange between the characters, with a focus on building tension and intrigue.



Scene 6 -  Backstage Banter
8 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 8

...advance through the hallways.

MIKE
I'm Mike Shiner, by the way.

SAM
I know who you are.
(Reluctantly honest.)
I saw you in 'Hothouse' at the Geffen. It
was... great.

MIKE
That ass is great.

She turns her head toward him with a disgusted expression.

SAM
Dude. Seriously?

Moving by her, into a dressing room.

MIKE
This is the theatre, honey. Don’t be so
self-conscious.

She follows him into the room where we see...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In the hallway of a theatre, Mike and Sam discuss his performance. Mike's inappropriate comment about a woman's body shocks Sam and creates tension between them before they enter a dressing room.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Introduction of new character
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Incomplete character arcs

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively blends drama and comedy, introduces a new character, and sets up potential conflicts and dynamics within the theater environment.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the behind-the-scenes interactions and dynamics within a theater production is engaging and provides insight into the characters' personalities and relationships.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses as new characters are introduced and potential conflicts are hinted at, setting the stage for future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on the competitive and intense world of theater, with unique character dynamics and conflicts that add authenticity and depth to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined with distinct personalities and speaking styles, adding depth and authenticity to the scene.

Character Changes: 5

While there are hints of potential character changes and developments, they are not fully realized in this scene.

Internal Goal: 8

Sam's internal goal is to maintain her composure and professionalism in the face of Mike's inappropriate behavior. This reflects her desire to succeed in the competitive theater industry while staying true to her values.

External Goal: 7

Sam's external goal is to navigate the challenges of working with Mike and successfully perform in the theater production. This reflects her immediate circumstances and the obstacles she faces in her career.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

There is a moderate level of conflict introduced through the interactions between characters, setting up potential tensions and power dynamics.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting personalities and motivations driving the conflict between Sam and Mike, creating uncertainty and tension for the audience.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderate, with tensions rising as new characters are introduced and potential conflicts are hinted at.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new characters, setting up conflicts, and hinting at future developments within the theater production.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' dialogue and actions, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Mike's arrogant and disrespectful attitude towards Sam and her commitment to professionalism and self-respect. This challenges Sam's beliefs about how to navigate difficult situations and maintain her integrity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, including amusement, tension, and curiosity, but does not delve deeply into emotional depth.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the characters' relationships and dynamics effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the characters, the tension-filled atmosphere, and the underlying conflicts that drive the story forward.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, focusing on the characters' dialogue and actions to drive the narrative forward.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-driven interaction in a theater setting, effectively building tension and conflict between the characters.


Critique
  • The interaction between Mike and Sam in this scene feels crude and disrespectful, especially with Mike's inappropriate comment about a woman's body.
  • The dialogue lacks depth and substance, focusing more on shock value rather than meaningful interaction between the characters.
  • The transition from Mike's comment to Sam's reaction feels abrupt and could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
  • The dynamic between Mike and Sam could be developed further to create a more engaging and meaningful exchange.
  • The scene could benefit from more subtext and nuance in the dialogue to add layers to the characters' interactions.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising Mike's dialogue to be less crude and more respectful towards Sam.
  • Explore adding depth to the conversation between Mike and Sam by delving into their motivations and emotions.
  • Work on creating a more natural and organic transition between Mike's comment and Sam's reaction to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Develop the relationship between Mike and Sam to make their interaction more compelling and engaging for the audience.
  • Enhance the dialogue by incorporating subtext and nuance to add complexity to the characters' interactions.



Scene 7 -  Costume Department Chaos
9 INT. COSTUME DEPARTMENT - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 9

...Larry stressing out while he works on a costume. He turns
to see Mike standing there. Sam stands against the wall,
focused on her cell phone.

LARRY
Oh, thank the Lord and pass the
biscuits! I finally have an actor to
dress. Hello, Mr. Shiner.

MIKE
How're you doing, Larry?

LARRY
Better, now that you're here. Take off your
clothes.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 23.

Mike takes off his shirt and hands it to Sam. She doesn't budge,
and it hits the floor. He begins to unbutton his pants...

MIKE
You gonna stand there?

SAM
(Glancing at her cell.)
This is the theatre, honey. Don’t be so
self-conscious.
Larry searches for a few costume pieces.

LARRY
Okay. I'm gonna have to start from
scratch, with less than twenty-four
hours... Let's see if these--

He turns to see a completely naked Mike.

LARRY (CONT'D)
Holy-- What is happening? Where are
your underpants?

MIKE
At home, under the bed, I think.

Sam glances at Mike for a second, then returns to her phone.
Larry begins to help Mike into some pants which, given the
situation, is very awkward.

LARRY
Okay. Everything is too small.

SAM
Yeah, you're not kidding.

Lesley enters the room immediately coming face to face with a
naked Mike. She doesn't notice Sam who is partially hidden by a
clothes rack. She just goes about trying a costume shirt.
LESLEY
Oh, that's nice...
(To Larry.)
Forgive him, Larry. Mike's like my five
year old son. Neither one of them has
clean underwear...

LARRY
Or pubic hair, I imagine.
(Folding the pants.)
Okay, well, I can take out the suit but
we're going to need some new pants and
shirts.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 24.
LARRY (CONT'D)
(Looking back.)
And underwear...

Mike just stands there naked, staring at his penis in the
mirror.

LESLEY
(To Larry.)
This is too small.
(To Mike.)
What the hell are you doing?
MIKE
Waiting for Larry to finish.

LARRY
I'm finished.

Larry disappears deeper into the costume room.

MIKE
Okay, well, then I'm just standing here
with my balls out.

LESLEY
Get dressed. Riggan's daughter is hanging
around, and I don't need her to walk in
here and--

MIKE
Leslie...

LESLEY
No, Mike. You haven’t seen her. She’s
always hanging around, just-- I don’t--
Watching everyone. It’s creepy. It’s--

MIKE
Les...

LESLEY
I don’t know if the drugs fried her
brain or what, but I don't need her
running to her father saying you showed
her your junk.

MIKE
Okay, then we should probably get her out
of here.

Lesley's expression goes blank.

LESLEY
Oh, God. Really?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 25.

MIKE
Hey, Sammy...

SAM
It's Sam.

LESLEY
Fuck.

Sam steps forward.
LESLEY (CONT'D)
(To Sam.)
I didn't mean--

SAM
(Totally relaxed.)
It's cool. He's a handful, huh?

They both look back at Mike.
LESLEY
Almost.

Sam smiles at her and exits. Lesley wheels on Mike.

LESLEY (CONT’D)
Jesus... How is it you always manage to find
a new way to humiliate me?

MIKE
To be fair, you make it really easy.

LESLEY
What the hell was she doing here?

MIKE
She brought me.

LESLEY
And stayed???
MIKE
I know, right? She's a little--

LESLEY
Look at me, Mike. This is Broadway. I'm
here. Finally. And I'm begging you, if you
love me, please, do me a favor... don't
fuck it up.

MIKE
(Gently.)
Come here.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 26.

Lesley moves toward Mike. He cups her face in his hands
tenderly. They are face to face.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Play with my balls...

She twists his nipples hard and walks out.

MIKE (CONT’D)
I won't fuck it up... Probably!
Larry reappears holding some clothes. We follow him out...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In the costume department of a theater, Larry is stressed while trying to dress Mike, who ends up naked in front of everyone. Sam is indifferent, focused on her phone, while Lesley is embarrassed and frustrated with Mike's behavior. The scene is comedic and awkward, with tension unresolved as Lesley twists Mike's nipples in frustration and walks out.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of humor and tension
  • Revealing character interactions
  • Advancement of plot
Weaknesses
  • Potential for the scene to veer into overly comedic territory

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor and tension to create an engaging and memorable moment in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of chaos in the costume department due to Mike's nudity is well-executed and adds depth to the scene.

Plot: 7

The plot is advanced through the introduction of a new conflict involving Mike's behavior and its impact on the production.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique and fresh situations within the familiar setting of a theater costume department. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions to the situation reveal more about their personalities and relationships, adding depth to the story.

Character Changes: 6

The characters' reactions to the situation may lead to subtle changes in their relationships and dynamics.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain professionalism and handle the chaotic situation with humor and grace. This reflects his desire to succeed in his job and navigate difficult circumstances with ease.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to dress the actor for the performance in less than twenty-four hours. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict arises from Mike's inappropriate behavior and the potential consequences it may have on the production.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges from the chaotic environment and quirky characters. The audience is unsure of how the situation will be resolved.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are raised as the characters face the repercussions of Mike's behavior on the production.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict and potential consequences for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected situations and humorous interactions between the characters. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

There is a philosophical conflict between professionalism and chaos evident in this scene. The protagonist must balance the demands of his job with the unexpected and humorous situations that arise.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene elicits a mix of emotions from the audience, including humor, tension, and awkwardness.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the humor and tension of the scene, enhancing the character interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and unexpected twists. The humor and chaos keep the audience entertained and invested in the characters.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and dynamic, keeping the audience engaged and entertained. The rhythm of the dialogue and action adds to the effectiveness of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear character names, dialogue, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a comedic screenplay, with a setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene starts off with Larry stressing out while working on a costume, which sets the tone for chaos and awkwardness.
  • The introduction of Mike and Sam in the costume department adds an element of discomfort and tension, especially with Mike undressing in front of everyone.
  • The dialogue between the characters, especially the crude comments made by Mike and the reactions of Sam and Lesley, feels forced and lacks subtlety.
  • The visual of Mike standing naked in front of everyone and staring at himself in the mirror comes off as more awkward than impactful.
  • The interaction between Lesley and Mike at the end of the scene feels abrupt and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with their relationship dynamics.
Suggestions
  • Consider toning down the awkwardness and discomfort in the scene to make it more relatable and engaging for the audience.
  • Focus on developing the dialogue to be more natural and nuanced, allowing the characters to reveal their personalities and relationships in a more authentic way.
  • Explore alternative ways to create tension and conflict in the scene without relying on crude humor or shock value.
  • Work on the visual elements to enhance the impact of key moments, such as Mike undressing, to convey the emotions and intentions of the characters more effectively.
  • Deepen the interaction between Lesley and Mike to provide insight into their relationship dynamics and add layers to their characters.



Scene 8 -  Financial Tensions and Pregnancy Reveal
10 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 10
...through the hallway. He walks by Jake and Riggan who are mid
conversation. We stay with them.



RIGGAN (O.S.)
I don’t care, sign it.
JAKE (O.S.)
Listen to me.

RIGGAN (O.S.)
No you listen to me--

JAKE (O.S.)
I can’t afford to listen to you...

LARRY
I’m gonna need to go shopping
again.

JAKE
Fucking sew something, you old
fuck!

RIGGAN
I don't care. Give him what he
wants.
JAKE
His agent is asking for almost four
times what we were paying--

RIGGAN
Then go into the reserve.

JAKE
The reserve is gone. You spent it
on the fog. And those fake trees...
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 27.

RIGGAN
It’s a dream sequence, it--

JAKE
And three union midgets that dance
around like--

RIGGAN
You’re not supposed to call them
midgets--
JAKE
The reserve is gone!

RIGGAN
Listen to me, you didn't see what I
just saw. But you will, at the preview
tomorrow. Look, get the contract done.
I'll get the money.

Riggan begins marching toward the stage.
JAKE
(Calling after him.)
When???

Laura comes down some stairs and chases Riggan.

LAURA
(Incredulous.)
Hey, is it true? Shiner?

RIGGAN
He's in.

LAURA
Holy shit! When can I meet him?

RIGGAN
He's in a fitting with Larry.
Lesley comes down the hallway.

LESLEY
I’m going to Starbucks. You guys
want anything?

RIGGAN
I’m fine. How’s Mike?

LESLEY
Did you talk to your daughter?

RIGGAN
No.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 28.

LESLEY
He’s great.

LAURA
(To Lesley. Matter-of-
factly.)
Honey, your tits look like fucking
anjou pears in that top!

LESLEY
(Uncomfortable.)
Okay, well I'm gonna-- Thank you.

She walks away.

LAURA
And that ass. Like two eggs in a hanky!

A10 A10

Riggan walks, Laura follows him.

LAURA
Okay, I was going to tell you this over
dinner, but everything-- I have some news
too.
RIGGAN
Good or bad? Cause right now--

A technician walks by.

LAURA
(Whispering.)
I missed my last two periods.
(Beat.)
I think it's happening this time.

Riggan stops. Silent. A beat.

LAURA (CONT'D)
Is that good or bad?
(He stares at her.)
Riggan...?

RIGGAN
It's good. It's great.
She smiles, her eyes filled with emotion. Riggan smiles back,
and nods absently.

LAURA
Say something else...

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 29.

RIGGAN
(Joking.)
You're pretty sure it's mine?

LAURA
(Unamused but plays along)
Well, let's see. There's you. Jake. That
masseuse wore a condom so... Yes, it's
yours... idiot.

She puts her head on Riggan's chest. We see his mind racing.
Laura is moved, and confused.

LAURA (CONT'D)
Are you excited?

RIGGAN
Yeah.

LAURA
Me too.
Laura moves slightly away from him and suddenly slaps him across
the face. Riggan looks at her, confused.

RIGGAN
What--?

LAURA
You're not funny.

She kisses him intensely on the lips and briefly places his
hand on her belly, then moves it up to her breasts. After a
moment, she backs away.

LAURA (CONT'D)
First preview tomorrow. Here we go!

Laura turns and walks away. Riggan continues down the
corridor. He passes by a Security Guard· in front of a small
TV. The camera becomes Riggan’s POV and advances until...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan and Jake clash over the play's budget, but Riggan reassures Jake he'll secure funds. Laura surprises Riggan with her pregnancy news, leading to a mix of emotions and a flirtatious interaction between them, leaving Riggan in a state of bewilderment.
Strengths
  • Rich character interactions
  • Emotional depth
  • Witty dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some abrupt transitions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively balances emotional depth with humor, creating a compelling and engaging dynamic. The revelation of Laura's pregnancy adds a significant twist to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of revealing personal news amidst the chaos of a theater production is intriguing and adds depth to the characters' relationships.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses with the introduction of Laura's pregnancy and Riggan's reaction to the news, adding complexity to the characters' arcs.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and original take on the challenges of show business, with unique character dynamics and unexpected plot developments.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters' interactions and reactions in this scene are rich and multifaceted, showcasing their emotional depth and complexity.

Character Changes: 7

Laura's revelation of her pregnancy prompts a change in Riggan's emotional state and sets up potential character growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the challenges and conflicts that arise in the production process, while also dealing with personal relationships and unexpected news.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to secure funding for the production and ensure that everything is in place for the upcoming preview.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

There is internal conflict within the characters, particularly in Riggan's reaction to Laura's news, but the external conflict is relatively low.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations driving the characters' actions and decisions.

High Stakes: 5

While the personal stakes are high for the characters involved, the overall stakes in the scene are moderate.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new information and deepening the characters' relationships.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected news revealed by Laura and the emotional and physical interactions between characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between Riggan and Jake regarding the artistic integrity of the production versus financial concerns. This challenges Riggan's beliefs about the importance of staying true to his vision.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits a range of emotions from the characters and the audience, particularly with the revelation of Laura's pregnancy.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the characters' personalities effectively. It blends humor with emotional depth.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced dialogue, dynamic character interactions, and unexpected plot twists.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, enhancing the readability and flow of the dialogue and action.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the urgency and tension of the situation.


Critique
  • The scene is filled with a lot of dialogue and interactions between multiple characters, which can make it feel a bit cluttered and overwhelming.
  • The transition between different conversations and interactions could be smoother to avoid abrupt shifts in focus.
  • The dialogue feels a bit expository at times, with characters explicitly stating information that could be conveyed more subtly.
  • The physical interaction between Laura and Riggan, particularly the slap and intense kiss, feels somewhat forced and out of place.
  • The humor in the scene, like the comments about Lesley's body, may come across as inappropriate and could be toned down for a more sensitive approach.
Suggestions
  • Consider streamlining the dialogue to focus on the most essential information and character dynamics.
  • Work on creating more natural transitions between conversations and interactions to maintain a cohesive flow.
  • Explore ways to convey information and emotions through actions and subtext rather than direct dialogue.
  • Revisit the physical interactions between characters to ensure they feel authentic and serve the story effectively.
  • Adjust the tone and humor in the scene to align better with the overall themes and tone of the screenplay.



Scene 9 -  Backstage Jitters
11 INT. BACKSTAGE - THEATER - EVENING 11

...we go through the stage door. We scan the backstage area to
see the stagehands ready to do their jobs. We can feel the
electricity of a first preview.

On stage part of the kitchen set from before is visible. Annie
stands at her podium, calling the cues for the show.

ANNIE
(Into her headset.)
Cue 34 and 35. Go.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 30.

She turns and looks directly into the camera.

ANNIE (CONT'D)
Places.

RIGGAN (O.S.)
Okay.

Riggan walks on screen wearing his costume, carrying a bucket of
ice and a bottle of gin. He goes to the opposite side of the
stage and takes his place in the wings. He peeks out at the
audience who seem to be watching with interest.

Then we pan to the stage to find Mike, Lesley and Laura
performing the scene we saw at the beginning, around the table.
Mike looks comfortable, sipping at his drink. A half empty
bottle of gin on the table.

MIKE
The maniac shot himself right in front of
us. I rode with him in the ambulance to the
hospital.

LESLEY
I’ll never get that image out of my head.
Right before he did it, his eyes-- they
were so sad... lonely.

LAURA
Did you have to treat him?

MIKE
I didn’t have to. But I did.
(Pouring another drink.)
He was in bad shape. His head swelled
up to like twice the size of a normal
head. I'd never seen anything like
it. And I swear to God, I hope I
never do again.

Riggan stands near Annie.
RIGGAN
He’s good.

ANNIE
He’s incredible. I think he's
drinking real gin.

Riggan looks out at Mike, who is refilling his glass.

RIGGAN
What?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 31.

A stagehand gives Riggan a bottle. Riggan watches and waits
for his cue.

MIKE
Ask Nick what real love is. He’ll
agree with me. You watch.

LESLEY
Why don’t we just head to the
restaurant?
LAURA
Don’t get him started, Mel. You
haven’t seen how he’s been lately.
He’s been depressed. I’m worried
about him. He’s been--

She gently pushes Riggan and we follow him on stage...
Genres: ["Drama","Dark Comedy"]

Summary Annie, the stage manager, calls the cues as Riggan, the lead actor, prepares for his first preview performance. Riggan admires Mike's strong performance from the wings, but is concerned about his use of real gin. Laura shares her担忧 about Mike's recent behavior, describing him as depressed. The scene culminates with Laura gently pushing Riggan onstage.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Dark humor
  • Emotional depth in characters
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too dark for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines intense dialogue, dark humor, and unexpected events to create a compelling and engaging atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the aftermath of a maniac's actions and the impact on the characters is intriguing and well-executed.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses through the characters' interactions and revelations about the maniac's past, leading to a climactic accident that adds tension.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the behind-the-scenes dynamics of live theater, with a focus on the challenges and emotions of actors preparing for a performance. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their emotions and relationships are effectively portrayed through dialogue and actions.

Character Changes: 7

Some characters experience emotional shifts and revelations during the scene, particularly in their understanding of the maniac's legacy.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to ensure the success of the performance and to maintain his composure amidst the chaos of live theater. This reflects his desire for validation and recognition as an actor.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to deliver a convincing performance and to navigate the challenges of live theater, including unexpected situations like the use of real gin on stage.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict in the scene, primarily driven by the characters' differing perspectives on the maniac's actions and their own emotional struggles.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicts arising between characters as they navigate the challenges of live theater. The audience is left wondering how the characters will overcome their differences and deliver a successful performance.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high, especially with the revelation of the maniac's dangerous actions and their impact on the characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing important information about the characters and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected use of real gin on stage and the tension between characters as they navigate the challenges of live theater. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the performance will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the blurred lines between reality and performance, as the characters discuss the authenticity of emotions and experiences in acting.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, loneliness, and worry through the characters' dialogue and actions.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense, darkly humorous, and reveals important information about the characters and their past experiences.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the world of live theater, capturing the intensity and unpredictability of a performance. The interactions between characters and the witty dialogue keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension, humor, and drama. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the standard screenplay format for a theater setting, with clear descriptions of characters, actions, and dialogue. The visual cues enhance the reader's understanding of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a backstage setting in a theater, with clear transitions between characters and actions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the tension and excitement of the performance.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus or purpose, as it jumps between different characters and conversations without a central conflict or driving force.
  • The dialogue feels disjointed and lacks depth, with characters discussing random topics without meaningful connections to the overall story.
  • There is a lack of tension or emotional depth in the interactions between the characters, making the scene feel flat and unengaging.
  • The transition between different conversations and actions is abrupt and confusing, making it difficult for the audience to follow the flow of the scene.
  • The scene fails to build on the previous events or advance the plot, leaving the audience with a sense of stagnation and lack of progression.
Suggestions
  • Focus on a central conflict or theme that drives the interactions between the characters and adds depth to the scene.
  • Develop the dialogue to reveal more about the characters' motivations, relationships, and internal conflicts, creating a more engaging and meaningful conversation.
  • Create a clear structure for the scene that allows for a smooth transition between different conversations and actions, ensuring coherence and clarity for the audience.
  • Introduce elements of tension, emotion, and stakes to heighten the drama and keep the audience invested in the scene.
  • Ensure that the scene contributes to the overall narrative arc and character development, moving the story forward and building towards a resolution or climax.



Scene 10 -  On-Stage Chaos
12 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 12
...where Mike goes to refill his glass with the last of the
real gin. Riggan snatches the bottle out of his hands and
gulps the rest, straight from the bottle.

RIGGAN
Been what? (Beat.) I'll tell you
what real love is. This happened a
few months ago.
(Drops bottle on table)
And it ought to make us ashamed
when we talk like we know what
we're talking about when we talk
about love.

LAURA
Nick, for God's sake. Are you
getting drunk?

RIGGAN
(Pointed at Mike.)
I don't have to be drunk to say
what I think.

MIKE
Nobody’s drunk. We’re just having a
few drinks.

LESLEY
You’ve had more than a few.

RIGGAN
What are you, counting?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 32.

LAURA
Don't you talk to her like that.
Don’t talk like a drunk if you’re
not--

RIGGAN
(Exploding.)
Shut up. For once in your life.
Will you do me a favor and shut up
for a minute?
(Beat.)
Like I was saying... There's this
old couple, had a car wreck out on
the interstate. Some drunk kid
plowed his dad's pick up into their
camper.

We begin to hear the underscoring of violins.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Fucking teenager. By the time I got
to the hospital, the kid was dead.
He was off in a corner laid out on
a gurney. We took the old couple up
to the O.R.. They were a mess. We
worked like hell on them for most
of the night...

Over the speech, Mike reaches for the new bottle that Riggan
placed on stage. He refills his glass.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
When we were done, we wrapped them in full
body casts. The husband was depressed.
Even when I told him his wife was gonna
pull through, he was still depressed. So,
I got up to his mouth hole and asked him,
and he told me it was because he couldn't
see her through the eye holes. Can you
imagine? I’m telling you, the man's heart
was breaking because he couldn't turn his
goddamn head and see his goddamn wife.

Riggan is doing a good job. Lesley and Laura are genuinely
moved. Mike notices. He sips his drink.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
I mean... It was killing him. Killing him
that he--

MIKE
I'm tired of this shit.

They all look at Mike. In silence.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 33.

MIKE (CONT’D)
(to Riggan)
What the fuck is this? Water?

He hurls the glass against the wall. Some laughter from the
audience. Riggan stares at him, confused. He presses on.

RIGGAN
It was killing the old bastard...

MIKE
Did you just give me water?

RIGGAN
Come on, Mike.

MIKE
Come on what?

RIGGAN
Take it easy. You're drunk.
MIKE
Of course I'm drunk! I'm supposed to
be drunk! This is Carver, man! The guy
lost a piece of liver every time he
wrote a page! If I’m supposed to drink
gin then bring me fuckin gin! I mean,
you fucked the time period! You took
all the good lines for yourself! At
least let me--

The audience is now hysterical. Dozens of cell phones
pointing at the stage. Mike walks toward the apron, facing
the audience.

MIKE (CONT’D)
Oh, okay. Seriously? You people are
pathetic. Put the cell phones down and
join the real world! Will somebody
please just live in the real world?!!
He crosses to the refrigerator.

LAURA
Where's he going?

LESLEY
(Firmly.)
Mike, cut it out.

Mike rummages through the fridge.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 34.

MIKE
Look at this. It’s all fake.
(Tossing items out of the
fridge.)
The milk is fake. The butter is fake.

Riggan storms off the stage.

MIKE (CONT’D)
(To Riggan.)
Your performance is fake.
(He finds some fried
chicken.)
Hey! There's chicken. Real chicken. The
only thing real up here is the chicken.
So I'm gonna stick with the chicken.

The audience laughs harder.

MIKE (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Hey, this is good bird, man!
Riggan charges through the chaos backstage running into a
panicked Annie.

RIGGAN
Get Mike out of here.

ANNIE
How do you want me to do that?

Riggan keeps walking up to...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan's emotional storytelling is interrupted by Mike's disruptive behavior, leading to chaos on stage. Despite Laura's attempts to calm tensions, Mike's agitation escalates, causing audience reactions and forcing Riggan to leave the stage amidst the ensuing turmoil.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Intense character dynamics
  • Exploration of authenticity vs. deception
Weaknesses
  • Some moments of confusion for the audience

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging and dynamic, with a mix of intense and humorous moments that keep the audience intrigued.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of authenticity in performance and the contrast between real and fake elements is well-executed and adds depth to the scene.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as tensions rise between characters and the theatrical production faces challenges.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the theme of performance and authenticity, with unique character dynamics and emotional conflicts. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their conflicting motivations and emotions drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 7

Characters experience shifts in their perspectives and relationships, adding depth to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

Riggan's internal goal in this scene is to express his thoughts on love and authenticity, as well as to assert his authority and control over the situation. This reflects his deeper need for validation and recognition.

External Goal: 7

Riggan's external goal is to maintain control of the performance and handle the disruptive behavior of Mike. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in maintaining the integrity of the show.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between characters escalates, leading to dramatic moments and confrontations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters conflicting over authenticity, performance, and control, creating a sense of unpredictability and tension.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are raised as characters face personal and professional challenges.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions and dialogue of the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of authenticity and performance. Riggan's speech about love and the contrast between real and fake items symbolize the struggle between genuine emotion and artificiality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions from tension to amusement, keeping the audience engaged.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, revealing character dynamics and adding layers to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflicts, dramatic tension, and dynamic character interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment of conflict.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct character actions and dialogue separated effectively.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a dramatic performance scene, with clear character motivations and conflicts driving the action.


Critique
  • The scene starts off with Riggan snatching the bottle of gin from Mike and drinking the rest straight from the bottle, which sets a confrontational tone.
  • Riggan's story about the old couple involved in a car wreck is meant to convey a deeper message about love, but it gets interrupted by Mike's disruptive behavior.
  • Mike's outburst and accusations towards Riggan about the performance being fake detract from the emotional impact of Riggan's story and the overall scene.
  • The chaos and disruption caused by Mike's behavior take away from the poignant moment Riggan is trying to create with his story.
  • The audience's laughter and the use of cell phones detract from the seriousness of the scene and the emotional depth Riggan is trying to convey.
Suggestions
  • Consider toning down Mike's disruptive behavior to allow Riggan's story about the old couple to have a more impactful and emotional resonance.
  • Create a more controlled and focused environment on stage to maintain the sincerity of Riggan's storytelling and prevent distractions from the audience.
  • Explore ways to address Mike's behavior in a way that doesn't overshadow the emotional depth of Riggan's story and the message he is trying to convey about love.
  • Ensure that the audience's reaction and use of cell phones align with the tone and message of the scene, rather than detracting from the emotional impact.



Scene 11 -  Confrontation in the Hallway
13 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 13
...the hallway. Jake chases him.

RIGGAN
I want him gone.

JAKE
No.

RIGGAN
What?

JAKE
We can't do that.

RIGGAN
What are you-- Of course we can do that.
It's our show.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 35.

JAKE
Riggan, listen to me--

Riggan comes to a halt and faces Jake.

RIGGAN
No. You listen to me. Get him the fuck out
of my play. Did you see him out there?

JAKE
It was a preview! Nobody gives a shit about
previews. Nothing matters until that old
bat from the New York Times is sitting in
that audience on opening night.

RIGGAN
We're getting rid of him. I’m not going to
stand up on that stage and--

JAKE
Shut up! Just shut up for once and
listen to me. As soon as we announced he
was taking over, the advance doubled. We
can't afford to lose a preview. We can't
afford to lose money. We can't afford to
lose Mike. This is about being
respected, validated, remember? That's
what you told me. That's how you got me
into this shit. Now, you're the
director. Get him under control.
(A beat. As a friend.)
These are not the nineties anymore.

Jake storms away. Riggan heads toward his dressing room. Out
of nowhere, Mike barrels into him, pinning him against a wall.

RIGGAN
(Startled.)
Holy Fuck!

Mike presses up against Riggan, breathing down his neck. After a
painful silence...

MIKE
(Like he's possessed.)
You were good...

RIGGAN
Meet me in front of the theater in
10 minutes.

Mike chuckles and slaps Riggan gently on the face before he
disappears into his dressing room. Riggan begins walking
again. We follow him into...
10/29/14 / 36.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan and Jake argue over firing Mike. Mike appears, threatens Riggan, and disappears. Riggan agrees to meet Mike in 10 minutes.
Strengths
  • Intense character dynamics
  • Sharp dialogue
  • High tension and conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too confrontational or intense for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, intense, and sets up important conflicts and character dynamics for the rest of the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of power dynamics, artistic integrity, and financial pressures in the theater world is effectively portrayed.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly with the decision-making process regarding Mike's role in the play and Riggan's manipulation tactics.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh take on the familiar theme of artistic struggle and personal growth. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with Riggan's desperation, Jake's pragmatism, and Mike's intensity shining through.

Character Changes: 7

Riggan's desperation and manipulation tactics, as well as Mike's intense presence, showcase character development and shifts in power dynamics.

Internal Goal: 8

Riggan's internal goal in this scene is to regain control and respect in his career. He is struggling with feelings of insecurity and the fear of failure, which are reflected in his desire to remove Mike from the play.

External Goal: 7

Riggan's external goal in this scene is to ensure the success of the play and maintain financial stability. He is facing the challenge of dealing with a difficult actor and balancing artistic integrity with commercial success.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Riggan and Jake, as well as the introduction of Mike's disruptive presence, creates high tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing difficult decisions and conflicting motivations that create tension and drama.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the play's success, financial implications, and artistic integrity are clearly portrayed in the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, decisions, and character dynamics.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' interactions, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between artistic integrity and commercial success. Riggan must navigate the demands of the industry while staying true to his artistic vision.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The emotional intensity of the scene, especially Riggan's desperation and Mike's unpredictability, resonates with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and reveals the conflicting motivations of the characters effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense conflict and emotional stakes, keeping the audience invested in the characters' struggles and decisions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast-paced and dynamic, effectively building tension and maintaining the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the standard format for a screenplay.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a dramatic confrontation in a theater setting, effectively building tension and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clear visual descriptions and physical actions, making it feel static and dialogue-heavy.
  • The conflict between Riggan and Jake is not fully explored or resolved, leaving the scene feeling unresolved.
  • The dialogue feels repetitive and lacks depth, with characters repeating the same points without much development.
  • The emotional stakes of the scene could be heightened to create more tension and engagement for the audience.
  • There is a lack of subtext and nuance in the interactions between Riggan and Jake, making their conflict feel one-dimensional.
Suggestions
  • Add more visual elements to the scene to create a sense of movement and action, such as Riggan physically trying to get away from Jake or Jake physically blocking his path.
  • Explore the underlying emotions and motivations of Riggan and Jake to add depth to their conflict and make it more compelling for the audience.
  • Consider adding a twist or unexpected turn in the conversation to keep the audience engaged and create a more dynamic scene.
  • Introduce more subtext and non-verbal communication between the characters to add layers to their interactions and make the scene more nuanced.
  • Focus on building tension and suspense throughout the scene to create a sense of anticipation and keep the audience invested in the outcome.



Scene 12 -  Riggan and Sylvia's Confrontation
14 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 14

...his dressing room. He goes into the bathroom and quickly
washes his face.

SYLVIA (O.S.)
What the hell was going on up there?

We pan over to see his ex-wife Sylvia (43), standing in one
corner, staring at Riggan. She is elegant and simply beautiful.

RIGGAN
I didn't know you were here tonight.
SYLVIA
That guy's an asshole, huh?

Riggan dries his hands with a towel and comes out of the
bathroom.

RIGGAN
What are you doing here?
SYLVIA
Sam and I are going to grab a bite
after she's finished with--

RIGGAN
No, I mean here. Now.

SYLVIA
Well. I know how much this means to
you, so--

RIGGAN
I appreciate that.

A beat.

SYLVIA
So, how's it going?

RIGGAN
The play?

SYLVIA
No, you and Sam.

RIGGAN
It's good. (A beat.) It’s the same.

SYLVIA
Do you talk to her?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 37.

RIGGAN
We talk. We-- I don't know, it's been crazy
around here.

SYLVIA
You understand where her head is at right
now.

RIGGAN
Of course.
SYLVIA
She's trying to stay away from everything
and everyone that got her into rehab in the
first place, but...

RIGGAN
...I know, Sylvia...

SYLVIA
...But that's all she had. So she's--
RIGGAN
I really do get it.

SYLVIA
I know you're caught up in all this stuff,
but--

RIGGAN
Stuff...

SYLVIA
You know what I mean.
(Beat.)
Riggan... You don't have to be a great
father right now, you just have to be one.

RIGGAN
Yeah.
Suddenly, Laura opens the door and sticks her head in.

LAURA
(Noticing Sylvia.)
Oh, sorry.

She closes the door. Awkward silence.

SYLVIA
So how is that going? Is she and
Sam--?

RIGGAN
I don’t wanna talk about it.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 38.

He goes to a small fridge, takes out a beer and closes it.

SYLVIA
You're drinking?

RIGGAN
I'm having a beer.

SYLVIA
Okay...
He sits and sips in silence for a moment. Then he begins to
take out the wig.

RIGGAN
So, what's going on with you?

SYLVIA
Me? Nothing. Everything's the same I guess.
I'm going back to teaching.
RIGGAN
I’m thinking about refinancing the Malibu
house.

SYLVIA
Wh-- I’m sorry?

RIGGAN
I’m thinking about--

SYLVIA
No, I heard you. I just need a second to--
(A beat.) That's gonna be Sam's house. Why
would you-- (A beat.) What? For this play?

RIGGAN
(Honest and vulnerable.)
I need the money.

SYLVIA
Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?

RIGGAN
What do you want me to say? My health
lasted longer than the money... Go figure
that out.

Riggan seems pensive and lost.

SYLVIA
Riggan...
(Beat.)
What’s going on?... Look at me.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 39.

Riggan gently looks up to Sylvia.

RIGGAN
I have a chance to do something right. And I
have to take it. I have to.

SYLVIA
It’s funny. I was sitting here waiting
for you, and all of a sudden I couldn’t
remember why we broke up.
Silence. Then, as if he hasn’t heard what she said.

RIGGAN
The last time I flew here from LA, George
Clooney was sitting two seats in front of
me. With those cuff links, and that...
chin. We ended up flying through this
really bad storm. The plane started to
rattle and shake, and everyone on board
was crying... and praying. And I just sat
there-- Sat there thinking that when Sam
opened that paper it was going to be
Clooney's face on the front page. Not
mine. (A beat.) Did you know that Farrah
Fawcett died on the same day as Michael
Jackson?

She smiles sadly. She kisses him on the head and goes to the
door.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Why did we break up?

SYLVIA
(Looks him in the eye.)
You threw a kitchen knife at me...

Riggan is smacked by that memory. His eyes on the floor.

SYLVIA (CONT’D)
...and one hour later you were
telling me how much you loved me.
(Beat.)
Just because I didn't like that
ridiculous comedy you did with Goldie
Hawn didn't mean I did not love you.
But that's what you always do. You
confuse love with admiration.

She smiles sadly. He looks at her. As Sylvia opens the door,
she turns back to Riggan...



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 40.

SYLVIA (CONT'D)
It's your house, so do what you want with
it. Just make sure you're there for our
daughter.

RIGGAN
I will.

SYLVIA
You're not Farrah Fawcett, Riggan.
She exits. Painful silence... until...

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
We should have done that reality show they
offered us. "The Thomsons." That would’ve
been good. Crazy, druggy, wise ass daughter.
Milfy wife with the perky tits. People would
have watched that.

RIGGAN
(To the poster.)
Shut up.

Riggan stands up and grabs his jacket. He opens the door and
goes out to...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Riggan and Sylvia discuss their troubled relationship, including Riggan's strained relationship with their daughter Sam and his drinking. Sylvia confronts Riggan about his past behavior, highlighting his tendency to confuse love with admiration. The conversation ends with Sylvia reminding Riggan of his responsibility towards Sam and leaving him alone to reflect on their conversation and his own choices.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Raw dialogue
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Lack of external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is emotionally charged and provides significant insight into Riggan's character and his relationships. The dialogue is poignant and reveals deep-seated emotions, making it a compelling and impactful moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring Riggan's personal life and his interactions with Sylvia adds depth to the character and enhances the overall narrative. The scene effectively conveys themes of regret, love, and the complexities of family relationships.

Plot: 7

While the scene doesn't directly advance the main plot of the play, it deepens the understanding of Riggan's character and his motivations. It sets the stage for potential conflicts and resolutions in the future.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh approach to exploring themes of family, artistic integrity, and personal growth, with authentic and nuanced character interactions. The dialogue feels genuine and emotionally resonant.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene provides rich character development for Riggan and Sylvia, showcasing their complex emotions and history. Their interactions feel authentic and add layers to their personalities.

Character Changes: 7

Both Riggan and Sylvia experience emotional growth and introspection in the scene, leading to a deeper understanding of their characters. Their interactions reveal vulnerabilities and complexities that contribute to their development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to reconcile his past mistakes and prioritize his relationship with his daughter. This reflects his deeper need for redemption and connection with his family.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate his current financial struggles and make difficult decisions to support his career. This reflects the immediate challenges he faces in maintaining his artistic integrity while dealing with financial pressures.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is emotional conflict and tension between Riggan and Sylvia, the scene focuses more on introspection and reflection rather than external conflicts. The conflict is more internal and emotional in nature.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and emotional barriers between characters. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of the characters' interactions.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are more personal and emotional, focusing on the relationships and inner struggles of the characters. While there are no immediate external threats, the emotional stakes are high for Riggan and Sylvia.

Story Forward: 6

While the scene doesn't significantly move the main plot forward, it deepens the character dynamics and sets the stage for potential conflicts and resolutions in the future. It provides important insights into Riggan's personal life and relationships.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in its emotional revelations and character dynamics, keeping the audience on edge with unexpected twists and revelations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the protagonist's struggle between personal fulfillment and financial stability. This challenges his values of artistic integrity and family responsibility.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly through the raw and vulnerable performances of Riggan and Sylvia. Their interactions are poignant and heartfelt, leaving a lasting impact on the viewer.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is poignant and emotionally charged, revealing the inner thoughts and feelings of the characters. It effectively conveys the complexities of their relationships and adds depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, intimate character interactions, and realistic dialogue. The tension and vulnerability of the characters draw the audience in.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, allowing for moments of reflection and character development. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue. It effectively conveys the setting and character emotions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a natural flow of conversation and character interactions, maintaining a realistic and engaging pace. It adheres to the expected structure for a character-driven drama.


Critique
  • The scene between Riggan and Sylvia in his dressing room is emotionally charged and reveals a lot about their past relationship and current dynamics. However, the dialogue could be more concise and impactful to enhance the emotional depth of the scene.
  • There are moments of vulnerability and reflection from Riggan, but they could be further explored to create a stronger connection with the audience and evoke a deeper emotional response.
  • The transition between Riggan and Sylvia discussing their past and present struggles could be smoother to maintain the emotional intensity of the scene.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual cues or actions to complement the dialogue and enhance the overall impact of the interaction between Riggan and Sylvia.
  • The tension and unresolved issues between Riggan and Sylvia could be further emphasized to create a more compelling and engaging dynamic in the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to make it more impactful and emotionally resonant.
  • Explore Riggan's vulnerability and reflection in more depth to create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
  • Work on smoother transitions between past and present discussions to maintain the emotional intensity of the scene.
  • Incorporate more visual cues or actions to complement the dialogue and enhance the overall impact of the interaction between Riggan and Sylvia.
  • Emphasize the tension and unresolved issues between Riggan and Sylvia to create a more compelling and engaging dynamic in the scene.



Scene 13 -  Artistic Conflict in the Alley
15 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 15
...the hallway.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Where are we goin'?

RIGGAN
(Almost whispering.)
Leave me alone.

Riggan walks between crew members. Annie interrupts him.

ANNIE
The sun bed is here.

RIGGAN
What does that mean?

ANNIE
It means there's a sun bed out there
being delivered to in here.

RIGGAN
Who ordered a sun bed?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 41.

ANNIE
Mike. He says it’s for his character.
Carver’s red necks, “people of the
land”. Part of his process and that
shit.

Riggan cannot deal with this right now. He continues walking
until he arrives at a metal door that takes him out to...

16 EXT. AN ALLEY WAY - OUTSIDE THE THEATER - CONTINUOUS 16

...an alley way. Riggan walks toward the street. There is a man
playing drums. Riggan finds Mike leaning against a parked car,
dazed and looking up at the marquis...

RIGGAN
Let’s go. Walk.

Riggan begins to walk, Mike follows.

MIKE
Where are we going?
RIGGAN
To get you some coffee. Have I done
anything to disrespect you?

MIKE
Not yet.

RIGGAN
I have a lot riding on this play.
MIKE
Is that right?

RIGGAN
People know who I am, and--

MIKE
Bullshit.

RIGGAN
Mike--

MIKE
Bullshit. People don’t know you. They
know the guy in the bird suit. They
know the guy who tells those quaint,
slightly vomitous stories on Letterman.

RIGGAN
Well, I’m sorry for being popular, but
that--
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 42.

MIKE
(With irony.)
Popular? POPULAR?... Oh God, popularity is
just the slutty little cousin of prestige.

RIGGAN
Okay, I don’t even know what that--

MIKE
My reputation is riding on this play.
And that's... That is...
RIGGAN
A lot?

MIKE
A lot. Exactly. Fuck you. Yes. This
doesn't work out for you, you get to go
home to your studio pals and jump right
back into that cultural genocide you
guys are perpetrating. “There’s a
douchbag born every minute”. That was
P.T. Barnum’s premise when he got rich
inventing the circus. And you and your
pals know nothing’s changed, and
whatever toxic shit you make people are
still gonna pay to see it. But, after
you’re gone, I’ll still be here. I’ll
still be making my living on the stage.
Baring my soul. Wrestling with emotions,
complex emotions.

RIGGAN
Right. Is that what tonight was about then?
(Mocking him.) Wrestling with “complex
emotions”?

MIKE
Tonight was about making it alive. About
making it bleed. This isn't the Warner
Brothers lot, Riggan. This is the city, and
this is how we do things.

Mike turns and opens the front door of The Rum House.

RIGGAN
Where are you going?

MIKE
They have coffee in here.

He walks into the restaurant. Riggan backtracks and we follow
him into...
10/29/14 / 43.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a tense hallway, Riggan dismisses interruptions, leading to an argument with Mike outside. They clash over their artistic approaches, with Riggan valuing popularity and Mike prioritizing authenticity. Riggan reluctantly follows Mike into The Rum House.
Strengths
  • Intense character dynamics
  • Sharp and insightful dialogue
  • Exploration of key themes
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging and intense, with strong character dynamics and thought-provoking dialogue.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the clash between commercial success and artistic integrity is well-executed, with the scene focusing on the characters' conflicting values and motivations.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as Riggan and Mike's relationship is further developed, setting up future conflicts and character arcs.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on fame, success, and artistic integrity, with authentic character actions and dialogue that feel true to the industry.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Riggan and Mike are complex and well-defined, with their contrasting personalities and motivations driving the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Both Riggan and Mike experience shifts in their perspectives and motivations during the scene, setting up potential character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his worth and talent in the face of criticism and doubt. This reflects his deeper need for validation and recognition.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate the challenges and conflicts within the theater production, particularly with the character Mike. This reflects the immediate circumstances and interpersonal dynamics he's facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Riggan and Mike is intense and confrontational, driving the emotional tension of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and personal stakes driving the conflict.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as Riggan and Mike confront each other over their conflicting values and motivations.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the conflict between Riggan and Mike and setting up future plot developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and philosophical debates, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is between the protagonist's view of popularity and success versus Mike's view of artistic integrity and authenticity. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about his own career and the industry he's a part of.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes strong emotions through the characters' intense interactions and conflicting perspectives.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, insightful, and revealing, adding depth to the characters and exploring key themes of the story.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the dynamic dialogue, emotional conflict, and character development.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and emotional stakes, leading to a climactic confrontation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to industry standards, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a dialogue-heavy, character-driven scene in a drama genre.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, with Riggan and Mike engaging in a somewhat aimless conversation that doesn't drive the plot forward or reveal much about their characters.
  • The dialogue feels forced and heavy-handed, with Mike delivering long monologues that come across as preachy and unrealistic.
  • The conflict between Riggan and Mike is not well-developed or resolved, leaving the scene feeling unresolved and unsatisfying.
  • The scene lacks subtlety and nuance, with characters stating their motivations and feelings outright instead of showing them through actions and interactions.
  • The transition from the theater hallway to the alleyway feels abrupt and disjointed, lacking a smooth flow between locations.
Suggestions
  • Focus on creating more dynamic and purposeful dialogue that reveals character motivations and drives the plot forward.
  • Consider adding more subtext and nuance to the interactions between Riggan and Mike, allowing their conflict to unfold in a more organic and engaging way.
  • Work on building tension and suspense throughout the scene to keep the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.
  • Explore different ways to show the characters' emotions and conflicts through actions and gestures, rather than relying solely on dialogue.
  • Consider revising the transition between locations to create a more seamless and coherent flow between scenes.



Scene 14 -  Discussion at the Rum House
17 INT. RUM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS 17

...The Rum House. Mike stands at the bar, the bartender
already pouring two whiskeys.

MIKE
(To bartender.)
Thanks, Tommy.

Tommy nods and walks away.

RIGGAN
(Getting back on point.)
People were laughing in our faces.

MIKE
(Handing Riggan a drink.)
Tonight they were laughing, tomorrow
they'll be... be.. tweeting about us. Fuck
‘em. Who cares??? These are the people who
pay half price to watch us rehearse. Stop
fucking caring!
RIGGAN
We’re doing Raymond Carver. This play is a
drama. This play is--

MIKE
You don’t know what this play is. These are
previews. This is where we find out what
the play is.

Mike points to an Older Woman sitting at the bar. She sips a
martini and scribbles in a notebook with a sour expression.

MIKE (CONT’D)
You see that woman over there? The one that
looks like she just licked a homeless guy’s
ass? Nothing matters until she writes five
hundred words about us in the New York Times.

RIGGAN
That's...
MIKE
Tabitha Dickinson. Yes. And, believe it or
not, the only thing that matters in theater
is whether she likes us or not. She does,
we run. She doesn't, we're fucked.

RIGGAN
(Preoccupied.)
She does look like she licked a homeless
guy’s ass.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 44.

MIKE
Do me a favor, don't get your panties in a
twist over a preview, alright? And don't tell
me how to do my job. Cause, this is my town.
And, to be honest, nobody gives a shit about
you around here.

LADY (O.S.)
You're Riggan Thompson, right?

Two fat tourists in "Mamma Mia" t-shirts, with a seven year old
kid, approach the table.

HUSBAND
(Timidly.)
We're sorry to interrupt...

LADY
Would you mind terribly if we got a
picture?
RIGGAN
Of course. It's no trouble at all.

The Lady shoves her camera into Mike's hands.

LADY
(To Mike.)
Would you mind?

Mike gets up with a blank expression and takes the camera.
The Lady pushes the kid into the booth next to Riggan.

LADY (CONT’D)
(Ordering Mike.)
The button right on top there.

KID
Who is this guy?

LADY
(To his son.)
Come on, Billy. He used to be like Batman.

She yanks the kid closer and they squeeze up against Riggan.
Mike takes the photo and holds the camera to the lady.

LADY (CONT’D)
(To Mike)
I think you screwed that one up. Take
another one.

Mike takes another picture.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 45.

LADY (CONT’D)
(To Riggan.)
God bless you, darlin’. You're very sweet.
And handsome!

She kisses Riggan hard on the mouth. Then gets up, giddy, and
takes her son by the hand. As the couple leaves, husband shoves
a five dollar bill into Mike’s hands.

HUSBAND
We really appreciate it.
An agitated Mike takes a sip of whiskey.

MIKE
Are we good here? Cause I’m gonna go.

RIGGAN
See you tomorrow.

Mike places the dollar under one of the shot glasses and begins
to walk away, but then stops and turns curiously.

MIKE
Why Raymond Carver? You never told me.

Riggan looks at Mike for a second, than reaches for his wallet
and produces an old cocktail napkin with some writing on it. He
slides it to Mike.

RIGGAN
A long time ago, I did a play back in
high school in Michigan. He was in the
audience. He sent this backstage after.

MIKE
"Thank you for an honest performance. Ray
Carver." What is this?

Riggan looks vulnerable. He is trying to make Mike understand
the importance of the napkin, to build a bridge between them.
RIGGAN
And that's when I knew I was going to
be an actor.

Mike can't stop himself from smiling.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Why is that funny?

MIKE
He wrote it on a cocktail napkin.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 46.

RIGGAN
So...

Mike slides the napkin back to Riggan.

MIKE
He was drunk.

A17 A17

He walks away and we follow him as he passes by the bar next
to Tabitha Dickinson, the Critic.

TABITHA
You headed to Hollywood, Mike?

Mike stops.
MIKE
Hollywood's headed here, Tabby.

TABITHA
(A devilish smile.)
Good luck with that.

Mike looks directly into her eyes.

MIKE
"A man becomes a critic when he can not be an
artist, in the same way that a man becomes an
informer when he cannot be a soldier."
Flaubert, right?

He flashes his own devilish smile. She stares back. If she
weren't so much older than him, you'd swear there was sexual
electricity between them.

TABITHA
He's a Hollywood clown in a Lycra bird
suit.

MIKE
Yeah. And at 8 o'clock tomorrow, he's gonna
get on stage and risk everything. What're
you gonna be doing?

A standoff.

TABITHA
Don't you ever worry that I'll give you a
bad review?



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 47.

MIKE
Oh, I'm sure you will. If I ever give a bad
performance.
(Beat.)
Ms. Dickinson.

TABITHA
Mr. Shiner.

Mike smiles and waves over to an obviously nervous Riggan. He
goes toward the exit, but we stay with Tabitha, scribbling on
her notebook. Suddenly she raises her eyes and, with a dark
expression, looks at Riggan who is passing by.

We follow Riggan toward the exit. Through the window we see him
leave the restaurant. Then we pan to a wooden wall, and this
wall takes us to...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary At the Rum House, Mike and Riggan discuss their play's previews. Despite pressure from critic Tabitha Dickinson, Mike remains confident. Riggan shares a personal story inspiring him to become an actor. The scene ends with Riggan's departure, leaving a tense moment between him and Tabitha.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Tension-filled conflict
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched moments
  • Slightly predictable plot twists

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, filled with tension and conflict, and sets up important plot points for the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the importance of critical reviews, the struggle for recognition and success in the theater world, and the clash of egos.

Plot: 8

The plot is driven by the conflict between Riggan and Mike, the pressure of upcoming reviews, and the revelation of Riggan's past connection to Raymond Carver.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and authentic characters in a unique setting, with a focus on the theater world and the dynamics between actors and critics. The dialogue feels natural and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and conflicting motivations that drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 7

Riggan's vulnerability and past connection to Raymond Carver hint at potential character growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to convince Mike to trust him and understand the importance of the play they are working on. This reflects Riggan's need for validation and recognition as an actor.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to handle a potentially negative review from a critic and maintain his reputation in the theater world.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Riggan and Mike, as well as the looming threat of a negative review, creates high tension and drama in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and power struggles between characters.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes involve the success of the play, the impact of critical reviews on the characters' careers, and the personal relationships at risk.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, deepening character relationships, and setting up future plot developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected interactions between characters and the shifting power dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the value of artistic integrity and the pressure of public opinion. Riggan believes in the importance of the play's message, while Tabitha represents the harsh reality of critics and audience perception.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and frustration to vulnerability and determination.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the characters' inner thoughts and emotions effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue and tension between characters, as well as the high stakes involved in the theater world.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing character motivations, with a balance of dialogue and action.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for character interactions in a bar setting, with clear dialogue and action beats.


Critique
  • The scene at the Rum House serves as a pivotal moment where the tension between Riggan and Mike is highlighted. However, the dialogue between the characters feels a bit forced and lacks subtlety in conveying their conflicting perspectives.
  • The interaction with the tourists, while adding a touch of humor, feels somewhat contrived and interrupts the flow of the scene. It could be streamlined or integrated more seamlessly into the conversation between Riggan and Mike.
  • The exposition about Raymond Carver and the significance of the cocktail napkin could be more subtly woven into the dialogue to make it feel more organic and less like a forced explanation.
  • The confrontation between Mike and Tabitha Dickinson feels a bit cliched and lacks depth. The dialogue exchange could be more nuanced to reflect the complexity of their relationship and the power dynamics at play.
  • Overall, the scene could benefit from more natural and nuanced dialogue, as well as a more seamless integration of key plot points and character dynamics.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the dialogue between Riggan and Mike to make it more authentic and reflective of their conflicting personalities and motivations.
  • Integrate the exposition about Raymond Carver and the significance of the cocktail napkin more organically into the conversation, avoiding heavy-handed explanations.
  • Streamline the interaction with the tourists to ensure it enhances the scene rather than detracts from the main conflict between Riggan and Mike.
  • Refine the confrontation between Mike and Tabitha Dickinson to add depth and complexity to their dynamic, moving beyond surface-level exchanges.
  • Focus on creating a more natural flow and depth in the dialogue to enhance the overall impact and authenticity of the scene.



Scene 15 -  Confrontation Over Marijuana
19 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - LATER 19

...the theater hallway. Riggan walks through the quiet corridor,
until he arrives at...

20 INT. GREEN ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 20
...the Green Room. Sam sits listlessly, drawing some lines
across a roll of toilet paper.

RIGGAN
What're you still doing here?

SAM
(Continues scribbling.)
Nothing. I’m-- Nothing. Your costumes are
hanging in your room.

RIGGAN
Great...

SAM
I got the coconut water you wanted. If you
want me to get--

RIGGAN
Hey.

SAM
What?

RIGGAN
I'm not sure if I said thank you.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 48.

SAM
For what?

RIGGAN
All of it. You've been doing a good job.
And I've been...

SAM
Yeah.

RIGGAN
So, I just wanted to say that--
(He stops abruptly.)
What is that?

SAM
What...?

RIGGAN
That smell.
SAM
I don't--

RIGGAN
Look at me.

SAM
What are you--

RIGGAN
Look at me.

She does. He examines her eyes, then immediately rises, scouring
the room.

SAM
Dad...

RIGGAN
(Continuing to search.)
You have to be shitting me... Where is it?

SAM
Could we not do this?

Riggan pulls a jar of peanut butter from the trash.

RIGGAN
What is this?

SAM
That is chunky peanut butter that happens,
by the way, to have Omega--

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 49.

Riggan pulls a stubbed joint out of the jar.

RIGGAN
This.

SAM
Oh. That's pot.

RIGGAN
Sam.
SAM
Alright, just relax.

RIGGAN
Relax? What the hell are you doing?

SAM
Protecting myself from cataracts?

RIGGAN
You can't do this to me!

SAM
To you?

RIGGAN
SHUT UP! You know what I'm talking about.

SAM
Yeah. You're talking about you. What else
is new?

RIGGAN
Don't try to--

SAM
What? Make it about me? I wouldn't dream of
it.

RIGGAN
Listen to me. I'm trying to do something
that's important...

SAM
This is not important.

RIGGAN
It's important to me! Alright? Maybe not to
you, or your cynical playmates whose sole
ambition is to end up going viral and who,
by the way, will only be remembered as the
generation that finally stopped talking to
one another. But to me... To me... This is--
God. This is my career, this is my chance
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 50.
RIGGAN (CONT'D)
to do some work that actually means
something.

SAM
Means something to who? You had a career
before the third comic book movie, before
people began to forget who was inside the
bird costume. You're doing a play based on
a book that was written 60 years ago, for
a thousand rich, old white people whose
only real concern is gonna be where they
go to have their cake and coffee when it's
over. Nobody gives a shit but you. And
let's face it, Dad, it's not for the sake
of art. It's because you just want to feel
relevant again. Well, there's a whole
world out there where people fight to be
relevant every day. And you act like it
doesn't even exist! Things are happening
in a place that you willfully ignore, a
place that has already forgotten you. I
mean who are you? You hate bloggers. You
make fun of twitter. You don't even have a
Facebook page. You're the one who doesn't
exist. You're doing this because you're
scared to death, like the rest of us, that
you don't matter. And you know what?
You're right. You don't. It's not
important. You're not important. Get used
to it.

Silence. Riggan seems devastated, and Sam can see that.

Sam (CONT'D)
Dad...

She looks at him sympathetically, but not knowing what to
say... exits.

After a moment Riggan gets up and heads for the trash can. He
digs out the roach, grabs some matches and lights it. Music
begins to sound. He inhales deeply and holds the smoke for a
few seconds and finally exhales. He coughs, tosses away the
joint and heads out of the kitchen. We follow him...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Riggan discovers Sam smoking marijuana in the theater, leading to an argument about the significance of Riggan's career. Sam criticizes Riggan's motives and declares his irrelevance. Devastated, Riggan succumbs to temptation and smokes the joint.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Realistic dialogue
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Limited physical action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is emotionally charged, with strong dialogue and character development. The conflict between Riggan and Sam is palpable, and the themes of identity and significance are effectively explored.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of family dynamics, personal ambition, and the search for meaning in one's life is well-executed. The scene effectively portrays the internal struggles of the characters and their conflicting perspectives.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through the exploration of Riggan and Sam's relationship, shedding light on their past and present conflicts. The scene sets up future developments and adds depth to the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic portrayal of parent-child dynamics, personal insecurities, and the pursuit of artistic validation. The dialogue feels genuine and the characters' actions are relatable.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Riggan and Sam are well-developed, with complex emotions and motivations. Their interactions reveal layers of their personalities and drive the emotional impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both Riggan and Sam undergo emotional changes during the scene, with Riggan facing his insecurities and Sam expressing her frustrations. Their dynamic shifts as they confront their past and present conflicts.

Internal Goal: 9

Riggan's internal goal in this scene is to feel appreciated and validated for his work, as well as to regain a sense of relevance and importance in his career and personal life.

External Goal: 8

Riggan's external goal is to confront Sam about her drug use and assert his authority as a parent.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Riggan and Sam is intense and drives the emotional core of the scene. Their differing perspectives and unresolved issues create a high level of tension and drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and emotional barriers between Riggan and Sam, creating a compelling dynamic.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high in the scene as Riggan and Sam confront their strained relationship and personal insecurities. The outcome of their conversation could have significant repercussions for their future interactions.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the understanding of the characters and setting up future conflicts and resolutions. It adds layers to the narrative and sets the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected confrontation between Riggan and Sam, leading to a dramatic shift in their relationship dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of relevance, importance, and identity. Sam challenges Riggan's perception of himself and his motivations for pursuing his current project.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking sympathy and empathy for the characters. The raw emotions and vulnerability displayed by Riggan and Sam resonate with the audience and leave a lasting impression.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, emotional, and impactful, capturing the tension between Riggan and Sam. The exchange is realistic and reveals the characters' inner thoughts and feelings.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional conflict between the characters, the sharp dialogue, and the revelation of personal truths.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, allowing the conflict to unfold naturally and intensify.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards for screenplay format, making it easy to follow and visualize the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for character-driven dialogue scenes, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively showcases the strained relationship between Riggan and his daughter, Sam, through their heated argument about her smoking marijuana in the theater.
  • The dialogue is powerful and reveals the underlying tensions and emotions between the characters, especially highlighting Riggan's desperation to feel relevant and important.
  • The scene effectively conveys the generational gap and differing perspectives on what is important in life and in the entertainment industry.
  • The visual elements of Riggan discovering the joint in the peanut butter jar and ultimately smoking it add depth to the scene and emphasize his inner turmoil.
  • The emotional impact of Sam's harsh words on Riggan is palpable, and the silence that follows speaks volumes about their relationship.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more moments of vulnerability and reflection for both Riggan and Sam to deepen their characters and the audience's connection to them.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating non-verbal cues or actions to enhance the emotional intensity of the scene.
  • Provide a resolution or a moment of reconciliation between Riggan and Sam to show growth or change in their relationship.
  • Consider adding a subtle hint or foreshadowing of the impact this argument may have on Riggan's decisions or actions later in the script.
  • Ensure that the themes of relevance, importance, and identity are consistently woven throughout the script to maintain a cohesive narrative.



Scene 16 -  Theatrical Reflections
21 INT. HALLWAY - THEATRE - CONTINUOUS 21

...as he slowly walks until he disappears into the darkness of
the corridor. We keep moving forward until we end up...
10/29/14 / 51.

A21 INT. BACKSTAGE - THEATRE - EVENING A21

...backstage. We are in the middle of the second preview. The
music continues, it belongs to the play.

Laura is by herself on stage performing the end of a scene. She
stands in the middle of a surrealistic forest set, at dusk.
There is fog, and trees. A strong, artificial wind blows
through Laura’s hair. Desolate music.

LAURA
(To the audience as soliloquy.)
In the days before Nick’s depression really
started to eat away at him, he had no idea
I was pregnant. And I never intended on
telling him. I guess we make choices in
life, and we choose to live with them. Or
not. I didn’t want that baby...

Three dancers on stage pass by in front of Laura. We follow
the dancers backstage where we find Mike and Lesley wearing
pajamas.
LAURA (O.S.) (CONT’D)
...Not because I didn’t love Nick. And not
because I didn’t love the-- The idea of
it. But because I just wasn’t ready to
love myself. There’s a certain distance to
it all now. A wistful distance.
Underscored by a gentle breeze and the
sound of the birds... laughing at the
whimsy of it all.

A stage hand helps Mike and Lesley into a double bed. The
camera slips under the covers with them and stays there.

MIKE
(Whispering.)
Hey, Les...

LESLEY
(Whispering.)
What?
MIKE
I'm hard.

LESLEY
No, you're not. It's just that sometimes
you don't consider other people's feelings.

MIKE
No. I'm hard. Feel.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 52.

LESLEY
Oh, you gotta be kidding.

The stage begins to revolve as we hear...
Genres: ["Drama","Dark Comedy"]

Summary Laura performs a soliloquy on stage while three dancers pass by. Meanwhile, backstage, Mike and Lesley get into bed and have a tense conversation. The scene ends with the stage beginning to revolve, adding to the surreal atmosphere of the play's preview.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Introspective dialogue
  • Surreal setting
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Slow pacing in some parts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively captures the emotional depth of the characters and sets a melancholic tone while introducing elements of dark comedy.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring personal struggles and relationships in a surreal theatrical setting is engaging and thought-provoking.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through introspective monologues and character interactions, revealing layers of complexity and emotional depth.

Originality: 9

The scene explores complex themes of love, self-acceptance, and regret in a unique and introspective way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and emotionally resonant.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their inner conflicts are portrayed with authenticity and depth.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo emotional revelations and introspective moments that contribute to their growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist, Laura, is grappling with her past decisions and emotions regarding a pregnancy and her relationship with Nick. Her internal goal is to come to terms with her choices and find self-acceptance.

External Goal: 7

The external goal for Laura in this scene is to perform her role in the play effectively and convey the emotions of her character to the audience.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict is more internal and emotional, focusing on the characters' personal struggles and relationships.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the characters' internal conflicts and emotional struggles, creating tension and uncertainty in their relationships and decisions.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes are more internal and emotional, focusing on the characters' personal struggles and relationships rather than external conflicts.

Story Forward: 7

The scene provides insight into the characters' motivations and relationships, moving the story forward through emotional depth.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in its emotional twists and turns, as the characters reveal their inner thoughts and conflicts in unexpected ways.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around themes of love, self-acceptance, and the consequences of choices. Laura's monologue reflects her internal struggles and conflicting emotions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions and creates a deep connection with the characters' inner turmoil and vulnerabilities.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is introspective, emotional, and reveals the inner thoughts and struggles of the characters effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, introspective dialogue, and the characters' inner conflicts. The audience is drawn into the characters' experiences and emotions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and emotional resonance, allowing the audience to connect with the characters' experiences.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct stage directions and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a dramatic play, with a clear progression of events and character interactions.


Critique
  • The transition from Riggan's intense confrontation with Sam about the marijuana to Laura's soliloquy on stage feels abrupt and disjointed. There needs to be a smoother transition to connect the emotional intensity of the previous scene to the surreal atmosphere of Laura's performance.
  • The dialogue in Laura's soliloquy is heavy-handed and lacks subtlety. The exposition about Nick's depression and Laura's pregnancy feels forced and could be conveyed more effectively through visual storytelling or subtle hints.
  • The interaction between Mike and Lesley backstage lacks depth and comes across as superficial. The dialogue about Mike being 'hard' feels out of place and detracts from the emotional weight of Laura's performance.
  • The stage revolving at the end of the scene feels disconnected from the emotional content of Laura's soliloquy and the interaction between Mike and Lesley. It would be more effective to have a visual or thematic connection to tie the elements of the scene together.
  • The scene lacks a clear focus or central theme, making it feel disjointed and lacking in emotional impact. There needs to be a stronger through-line or connection between the different elements to create a more cohesive and engaging scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a more seamless transition from Riggan's confrontation with Sam to Laura's performance. This could involve incorporating visual cues or thematic elements to bridge the emotional gap between the two moments.
  • Refine the dialogue in Laura's soliloquy to be more nuanced and subtle, allowing the audience to infer the emotional depth of the character's experiences rather than spelling it out explicitly.
  • Develop the interaction between Mike and Lesley to add depth and emotional resonance. Focus on building a more meaningful connection between the characters that complements the themes of the play and Laura's performance.
  • Reconsider the staging and blocking of the scene to enhance the visual and thematic coherence. Look for opportunities to create visual motifs or parallels that tie the different elements of the scene together.
  • Clarify the central theme or emotional core of the scene to give it a stronger sense of purpose and impact. Ensure that each element of the scene contributes to a cohesive narrative and emotional arc.



Scene 17 -  Tragic Climax
22 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 22
...music through the transition. It remains dark.

MIKE
Let's really do this. Let's fuck.

LESLEY
Are you crazy? No.

Mike rolls on top of Lesley.

LESLEY (CONT'D)
Cut it out...

Mike continues to maneuver himself.

LESLEY (CONT'D)
I'm serious, Mike. Stop!

MIKE
I'm Mel. Not Mike. Mel.
A knock on a door.

RIGGAN (O.S.)
Terri! Terri!

A furious Lesley tries to reposition herself under Mike.

RIGGAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Terri! I know you're in there!

The knocking gets louder.

RIGGAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Terri???

Mike, lost in his libido, has begun to have sex with Lesley.
The camera comes out from under the covers and pans to Riggan
who stumbles into what is now the Motel Room set. He wears a
mustache and a long wig, that makes him look like a wild man.
He holds a gun in his right hand. A neon "Motel" sign is
illuminated. A clever effect of falling rain is visible behind
the set, accompanied by the appropriate sound effect. Riggan
is wet because of the "rain".

Lesley uses Riggan's entrance to escape from Mike.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 53.

LESLEY
Ed!

Mike hops out of bed, unaware of the very noticeable erection
protruding underneath his pajama bottoms.

Some laughter from the audience.

LESLEY (CONT'D)
What are you doing here?
Lesley doesn't understand the audience response, until she
notices the erection herself.

RIGGAN
(To Lesley.)
Why? I need you to tell me why. I lived for
you. I worshipped you...

MIKE
Listen Ed, I know this is hard but--
More laughter. Riggan is disturbed, but he continues...

RIGGAN
(to Mike)
Fuck you. Shut up. Fuck you.

He shoves Mike violently to the floor.

LESLEY
Eddie! Please!

Riggan points the gun at Mike's head.

RIGGAN
What's wrong with me? Why do I end up
having to beg people to love me?

LESLEY
Ed. Eddie. Please... Give me the gun.
She begins to cry. Her performance is beautiful.

LESLEY (CONT'D)
Just look at me. I was drowning. I
was not capable of-- You deserve to
be loved. You do.

RIGGAN
I just wanted to be what you wanted.
(Beat.)
Now I spend every fucking minute praying to
be someone else. Someone I'm not. Anyone...

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 54.

MIKE
Put down the gun, Ed. She just doesn't love
you anymore.

The audience is silent.

RIGGAN
(A sad smile.)
You don't, do you?

LESLEY
(With sympathy.)
No...

RIGGAN
And you never will...

LESLEY
I'm sorry.

RIGGAN
(A revelation.)
I don't exist. I'm not even here. I don't
exist. None of this matters.

Riggan points the gun at Lesley. Then at Mike. Finally, he puts
the gun to his own head and pulls the trigger. PUM! And with the
explosion, a fake blood mechanism splatters brains onto the
stage. Riggan drops to the floor.

A blackout. The audience applauds politely. The curtain falls.
We follow Riggan off stage and into...

23 INT. BACKSTAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 23
...the wings, where Annie immediately helps him remove the
bloody and wet wig with the propeller mechanism. Laura waits
next to them for their bows. Meanwhile, a stage hand crosses
behind them, and we follow him as he goes on stage to...
Genres: ["Drama","Dark Comedy"]

Summary During a stage performance, Mike and Lesley's intimate moment is abruptly halted by Riggan, who enters armed and enraged. Despite Lesley's pleas, Riggan's despair over losing Lesley's affection drives him to a shocking act of self-harm, ending the scene with a gunshot to his head.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Powerful dialogue
  • Deep exploration of themes
Weaknesses
  • Potentially disturbing content
  • Heavy emotional weight

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, emotionally charged, and reveals deep insights into the characters' inner turmoil. The intense dialogue and dramatic actions keep the audience engaged throughout.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of blurring the lines between reality and performance, as well as exploring themes of identity, love, and desperation, is executed effectively in this scene.

Plot: 9

The plot reaches a critical turning point with Riggan's decision to confront his insecurities and take drastic action. The conflict and tension are heightened, leading to a powerful resolution.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to exploring complex relationships and internal struggles within the context of a theatrical performance. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters' emotions and motivations are deeply explored, especially Riggan's internal struggle and the dynamics between him, Lesley, and Mike. Their interactions drive the scene forward with intensity.

Character Changes: 9

Riggan undergoes a significant transformation in this scene, confronting his inner demons and ultimately making a life-changing decision. The other characters also experience emotional shifts.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to seek validation and love from others, particularly from Lesley. Riggan's deeper need for love and acceptance is reflected in his actions and dialogue throughout the scene.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to confront his feelings of inadequacy and seek closure in his relationships with Lesley and Mike. Riggan's immediate challenge is to come to terms with his own self-worth and identity.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is intense and multi-layered, involving internal struggles, interpersonal dynamics, and existential questions. The tension builds up to a climactic moment of resolution.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and relationships.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Riggan grapples with his sense of self-worth, love, and identity, leading to a moment of ultimate sacrifice and self-realization.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by revealing crucial character developments, escalating conflicts, and setting the stage for the final act of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions and revelations of the characters, leading to a shocking and dramatic conclusion.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between self-acceptance and external validation. Riggan grapples with the idea of being loved for who he truly is versus trying to be someone he's not to please others.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, ranging from sadness and empathy to shock and introspection. The characters' emotional journeys resonate deeply.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is raw, emotional, and impactful, revealing the characters' vulnerabilities and inner conflicts. The exchanges between Riggan, Lesley, and Mike are particularly powerful.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense emotions, dramatic conflict, and unexpected twists, keeping the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, leading to a climactic moment of revelation and resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene aligns with the expected format for a dramatic and emotional scene in a screenplay, with clear dialogue and scene descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic and intense moment in a screenplay, with a clear build-up of tension and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a jarring and abrupt transition from a sexual encounter to a dramatic confrontation, which may confuse the audience.
  • The dialogue and actions of the characters feel forced and unnatural, especially the sudden shift from a sexual situation to a serious emotional confrontation.
  • The use of a gun in the scene feels contrived and melodramatic, lacking a clear build-up or justification for its presence.
  • The emotional beats and character motivations are not fully developed, leading to a lack of depth and authenticity in the interactions.
  • The resolution of the scene, with Riggan taking his own life, feels rushed and lacks a satisfying emotional payoff or closure.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between the sexual encounter and the emotional confrontation, allowing for a more natural progression of events.
  • Focus on developing the characters' motivations and emotional arcs more effectively to make their actions and dialogue feel more authentic and grounded.
  • Reconsider the use of the gun as a plot device and explore alternative ways to heighten the tension and drama in the scene.
  • Provide more context and build-up to Riggan's decision to take his own life, ensuring that it is a well-developed and impactful moment in the story.
  • Work on refining the resolution of the scene to deliver a more satisfying and emotionally resonant conclusion for the characters and the audience.



Scene 18 -  Heated Exchange on Stage
24 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 24

...reposition some scenery for the curtain call. The camera
carries us to the other side of the stage, where Mike and Lesley
are in a heated exchange...

MIKE
Just, keep your voice down...

LESLEY
(Furious.)
You have to be shitting me. You can't get it
up in six months...
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 55.
LESLEY (CONT'D)
(She starts hitting him.)
...and now you try to fuck me in front of
eight hundred strangers???

MIKE
What do you want from me? I have to feel it.
You know that. I told you that from the--

LESLEY
Oh, fuck you...
Music begins and the curtain rises. The audience applauds as
Lesley and Mike stride onto the stage and take their bows,
smiles plastered on their faces.

MIKE
...I was in the moment...

LESLEY
I told you to stop. You fucking animal.
MIKE
But... You were incredible.

LESLEY
What is wrong with you?

Lesley starts back for the wings, and Mike follows her. In the
background we see Riggan and Laura enter from the other side to
take their bows.

MIKE
Listen I’m sorry, alright, I--

LESLEY
I want your shit out of the apartment.

They go back on stage and join Riggan and Laura for the company
bow.

MIKE
Can we--

LESLEY
No we can't. Maybe up here you’re Mr. Truth,
Mike. But in the real world, where it counts,
you're a fraud. How's that for truth? You...
dick.

Lesley storms off, leaving Mike and a confused Riggan on stage.
Laura chases her off and straight into...
10/29/14 / 56.

25 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 25

...the hallway.

LAURA
What's going on?

LESLEY
He's an asshole.

LAURA
What did he do now?
LESLEY
Oh, nothing. He just tried to fuck me in
front of a full house.

LAURA
Oh, my God...

LESLEY
Right?
LAURA
That’s kind of hot.

She follows Lesley into...

26 26
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In this scene, Mike and Lesley have a heated exchange on stage before taking their bows. Lesley accuses Mike of trying to have sex with her in front of the audience, leading to a confrontation. The conflict arises when Lesley accuses Mike of inappropriate behavior, and the emotional tone is tense and confrontational. The scene ends with Lesley storming off stage, leaving Mike and a confused Riggan behind.
Strengths
  • Intense character interactions
  • Emotional depth
  • Compelling dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Potentially controversial content
  • Explicit language

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is highly engaging, filled with tension, emotional depth, and impactful character interactions.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of revealing hidden truths and confronting personal issues is well-executed, adding depth to the characters and the overall story.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly with the conflicts and revelations unfolding, setting the stage for further developments.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on the backstage drama trope, focusing on the personal and professional struggles of the characters in a high-stakes environment. The dialogue feels authentic and captures the complexity of human relationships.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are complex, with conflicting emotions and motivations driving their actions, making them compelling and relatable.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo significant emotional changes and revelations, leading to personal growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain his artistic integrity and justify his actions to himself. He wants to feel the emotion in his performance and believes it is necessary for authenticity.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to salvage his reputation and relationships after a public altercation with his co-star.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters is intense and emotionally charged, driving the scene forward and heightening the stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and emotions driving the characters' actions and creating obstacles to their objectives.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident in the intense confrontations, emotional revelations, and dramatic moments that unfold on stage.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by revealing key truths, escalating conflicts, and setting up future plot developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' relationships and motivations, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between authenticity and professionalism. Lesley values professionalism and is outraged by Mike's unprofessional behavior, while Mike prioritizes authenticity in his performance.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, with raw and authentic performances adding to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, emotional, and impactful, effectively conveying the characters' inner turmoil and conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense conflict, emotional stakes, and dynamic character interactions that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict leading to a dramatic climax.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, dialogue, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dramatic confrontation, building tension and conflict between the characters before reaching a climax.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong conflict between Mike and Lesley, which is engaging and sets the tone for the rest of the scene. However, the resolution of the conflict feels a bit rushed and could be further developed to add depth to the characters' dynamics.
  • The dialogue between Mike and Lesley is intense and emotional, which is effective in conveying the tension between them. However, some of the lines could be more nuanced to add layers to their relationship and motivations.
  • The transition from the stage to the hallway with Laura and Lesley feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The interaction between Laura and Lesley in the hallway adds a touch of humor to the scene, but it could be further explored to delve into their relationship dynamics and provide more insight into their characters.
  • The scene ends with a strong setup for the next sequence, but the transition could be enhanced to create a more seamless connection between the two locations.
Suggestions
  • Consider expanding on the resolution of the conflict between Mike and Lesley to add more depth and emotional impact to their relationship.
  • Fine-tune the dialogue between Mike and Lesley to make it more nuanced and reflective of their characters' inner struggles and motivations.
  • Work on a smoother transition from the stage to the hallway to maintain the continuity and flow of the scene.
  • Explore the interaction between Laura and Lesley in the hallway to provide more insight into their characters and relationships, adding layers to the narrative.
  • Enhance the transition at the end of the scene to create a more seamless connection between the different locations and maintain the momentum of the story.



Scene 19 -  Dressing Room Drama
INT. LESLEY AND LAURA'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS
...the dressing room and closes the door. Lesley proceeds to
smash everything on her dressing table. Then she looks in the
mirror holding a hairbrush.

LESLEY
Why don't I have any self-respect?

LAURA
You're an actress, honey.

Lesley begins to cry. Laura hugs her.
LESLEY
I’m pathetic. You know, I’ve dreamt of
being a Broadway actress since I was a
little kid. And now I’m here. And I’m not a
Broadway actress. I’m still just a little
kid. And I keep waiting for someone to tell
me I made it.

LAURA
(Hiding how moved she is.)
Hey. You made it.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 57.

LESLEY
I did?

LAURA
Sadly, it was with Mike Shiner, on a fake
motel bed, in front of--

LESLEY
(A little laugh.)
Shut. Up.
Riggan steps into the doorway and sees Laura hugging Lesley.

RIGGAN
Is she okay?

LAURA
She's gonna be fine.

Riggan enters gingerly and walks up to Lesley.
RIGGAN
None of this is your fault.
(Into her eyes.)
You're beautiful. And talented. And I'm
lucky to have you. Okay?

LESLEY
Okay.

RIGGAN
Okay.

Riggan leaves the room. Laura leans on the makeup table.

LESLEY
That was very sweet.

LAURA
Yeah.
Laura is suddenly teary.

LESLEY
What's wrong?

A beat.

LAURA
(Smiling.)
Nothing. Two years, he's never said
anything like that to me.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 58.

LESLEY
(Into her eyes.)
Hey. You're smart. And beautiful. And
talented. And I'm lucky to have you. Okay?

LAURA
We’re gross.

LESLEY
We are.
Laura smiles and caresses Lesley’s hand. They look at each
other. Then Laura leans forward, close to Lesley’s face...

LESLEY (CONT’D)
(Nervous.)
What are you doing?

LAURA
Nothing.
Laura kisses Lesley tenderly on the lips. Lesley seems
confused. A few seconds of silence. Then...

LESLEY
Do it again.

Laura kisses her again. A knock at the door. They separate.
Mike opens the door holding the prop gun.

MIKE
(To Lesley.)
Can we talk about this like two--

Lesley hurls the hair brush at his head.

LESLEY
FUCK YOU!!!

MIKE
Okay, well, you're not ready.
Mike points the prop gun at her, pretends to fire and...

MIKE (CONT’D)
That was hot.

He exits the room. We follow him...

27 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 27
...down the hallway up to Riggan's dressing room. Riggan sits
at his table, picking the brains out of his hair.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 59.

MIKE
(Holding the gun.)
Your gun is ridiculous. It looks like a
plastic toy. And it still has the red plug
in the barrel.
(Shows the plug.)
You look like a seven year old when
you’re holding it. I'm not threatened
by it at all.

He tosses the gun onto Riggan's table.
MIKE (CONT’D)
Have some self respect and get a new one.
(Takes a step then turns.)
That was a fun crowd, huh?

We follow Mike to...

28 INT. STAIRS - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 28
...the stairs. He climbs them as he lights a cigarette. He goes
through a metal door that takes him out onto...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Lesley confides in Laura about her Broadway disappointments, leading to a tender moment. Mike's interruption triggers an outburst from Lesley, leaving tensions unresolved.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Complex characters
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Humorous moments
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion in character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines emotional depth, humor, and tension to create a compelling and engaging moment in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the inner struggles and insecurities of actors in a high-pressure environment is well-executed and adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through character interactions and revelations, adding layers to the relationships and conflicts within the story.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the struggles and insecurities of actors in the entertainment industry, with authentic dialogue and character interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are complex and multi-dimensional, showcasing vulnerability, strength, and emotional depth in their interactions.

Character Changes: 8

Characters experience emotional growth and self-realization, particularly in terms of self-worth and relationships.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to seek validation and recognition for her talent and hard work, reflecting her deeper need for approval and self-worth.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the challenges and conflicts within the theater environment, particularly dealing with difficult colleagues and maintaining professionalism.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is internal and interpersonal conflict present, adding tension and drama to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds conflict and complexity to the characters' relationships, creating suspense and uncertainty for the audience.

High Stakes: 7

The emotional stakes are high as characters confront their insecurities, desires, and vulnerabilities.

Story Forward: 7

The scene deepens character dynamics and relationships, setting the stage for further developments in the story.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and revelations, adding depth and intrigue to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's struggle between personal integrity and the compromises she may have to make for success in the industry.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions from sadness to humor, creating a strong emotional impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, emotional, and reveals important aspects of the characters' personalities and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional intensity, character dynamics, and unexpected twists that keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, enhancing the overall impact of the character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the emotional arcs of the characters and advances the plot.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional turmoil and vulnerability of Lesley as she expresses her insecurities and disappointments.
  • The dialogue between the characters feels authentic and helps to convey their inner thoughts and feelings.
  • The moment of tenderness between Laura and Lesley adds depth to their relationship and showcases a different side of their characters.
  • The introduction of Mike at the end of the scene adds a layer of tension and conflict, setting up potential future confrontations.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotional impact of the scene, such as close-ups of the characters' expressions or body language.
  • Explore the dynamics between the characters further by delving into their past experiences or relationships that contribute to their current emotional states.
  • Provide more context or backstory to deepen the audience's understanding of the characters' motivations and struggles.
  • Consider building up the tension and conflict between the characters to create a more engaging and dynamic scene.



Scene 20 -  Truth or Dare on the Roof
29 EXT. ROOFTOP - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 29

...a rooftop. The Marquis' of the other theaters glowing with
the street lamps, a classic Broadway view.

Mike is surprised to find Sam sitting on the cornice of the
building, a good fifty feet above 45th street. He goes next to
her, looking down at the street.

MIKE
I don't think it's high enough.

Sam turns to him, uncomfortable by his presence.
SAM
Me neither.

MIKE
So, what are you doing up here?

SAM
(Hesitant.)
Adrenaline. Just came out of rehab. Closest
I get to a drug.

MIKE
You were in rehab?


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 60.

SAM
(Distant.)
Yeah.

MIKE
Cool.

SAM
It wasn't all Dr. Drew or anything, but
that dude from American Pie was there.
A VOICE
(From the street below.)
Juuump!

SAM
(Calling down.)
Eat me!

A VOICE
Okay. Jump on my face!
SAM
(To Mike.)
I love this city.

MIKE
Yeah.

SAM
(Casually.)
Why do you act like a dick all the time? Do
you just do it to antagonize people?

MIKE
Maybe...

Sam turns and faces Mike.

SAM
You really don't give a shit if people like
you or not...

MIKE
Not really.

SAM
(More comfortable.)
God, that's cool.

MIKE
Is it...?

Mike leans on the railing, looking down at the street. For a
moment, he is somewhere else...
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 61.

SAM
Hey.
(Mike doesn't respond. She pushes
him.)
Hey...

MIKE
What?

SAM
Let's play a game.
MIKE
A game?

SAM
Yeah.

MIKE
What are you, eight?
SAM
What are you, seventy-eight? Truth or
dare...?

MIKE
You gotta be--

SAM
Truth or dare?

He looks at her, intrigued.

MIKE
Truth.

SAM
The first time we met, you made a comment about
my ass. Why'd you do it?

MIKE
Because you have a great ass, and I noticed
it. So, I said it.
(A beat.)
Truth or dare?

SAM
Dare.

MIKE
Really...

SAM
Uh-huh.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 62.

A moment of tension.

MIKE
(Looking at the street.)
There’s a bald guy about to walk by down
there. Spit on his head.

SAM
No!

MIKE
You said dare.

SAM
Truth.

MIKE
Too late.

She stares into Mike's eyes, knowing she's being tested. She
leans over the railing and spits down toward the street.
SAM
Happy?

MAN (O.C.)
(From the street)
Fuck you!

Sam laughs. Mike smiles at her carefree laugh. It could be the
first time we've seen a genuine smile from him.

SAM
Truth or dare?

MIKE
Truth.

SAM
You're boring.
MIKE
Truth.

She stares him down.

SAM
(Nervous, pretending.)
Do you want to fool around with me?

A pause.

MIKE
No.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 63.

SAM
(Taken aback.)
Really? Why not?

MIKE
That's a second question.

SAM
It's a second part.

A pause.
MIKE
I'd be afraid I couldn't get it up.

Impressed with his honesty.

SAM
That didn't seem to be a problem for you on
stage.
MIKE
Nothing’s a problem for me on stage.

SAM
I wanna ask another question...

MIKE
You just asked--

SAM
One more.

MIKE
Go 'head.

SAM
If you weren't afraid. What would you want
to do to me?

He carefully considers it, then moves his face close to hers.
MIKE
I would want to pull the eyes out of your
head...

SAM
...That's sweet...

MIKE
...And stick them in my skull, and then
look out at this street and see it the way
I saw it when I was your age.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 64.

Mike turns and stares out at the street once more. Sam stares
at the mystery that is Mike.

SAM
G'night, Mike.

She walks away and into the building, never looking back.

A29 A29

Mike stares out into the night. We move to his POV. The street.
Night turns to day. Pedestrians begin to walk below.


B29 B29

We crawl down the wall until we arrive at Riggan's dressing
room window. We push in to find...
Genres: ["Drama","Dark Comedy"]

Summary Mike and Sam's rooftop conversation reveals personal struggles and a playful game. Sam confesses leaving rehab, while Mike admits to intentional antagonism. Their truth or dare game uncovers Mike's insecurities and Sam's playful spirit. As Sam departs, Mike remains alone on the rooftop, lost in thought.
Strengths
  • Raw and honest dialogue
  • Character depth and development
  • Emotional intensity
Weaknesses
  • Some moments of ambiguity in character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is intense, emotionally charged, and reveals deep insights into the characters' personalities and motivations.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of two characters having a candid and confrontational conversation on a rooftop, exploring themes of honesty, vulnerability, and emotional barriers, is executed effectively.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through the revealing dialogue between Mike and Sam, showcasing their complex relationship and inner conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on a familiar scenario of two characters connecting on a rooftop, with unexpected twists and revelations.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Mike and Sam are well-developed, with layers of depth, conflicting emotions, and realistic interactions that drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Both Mike and Sam undergo subtle changes in their dynamic and understanding of each other during the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to connect with Sam and understand her perspective, as well as to reveal his own vulnerabilities and fears.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal is to engage in a game of truth or dare with Sam, which reflects his desire for excitement and connection.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Mike and Sam is palpable, adding tension and drama to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with tension between the characters and challenges to their honesty and vulnerability.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes are present in the emotional vulnerability and honesty displayed by Mike and Sam, as well as the potential consequences of their conversation.

Story Forward: 7

The scene provides insight into the characters' motivations and relationships, moving the story forward through their interactions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected turns in the truth or dare game and the characters' honest revelations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around honesty, vulnerability, and the masks people wear to protect themselves. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about relationships and authenticity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, especially in the raw and vulnerable moments shared between Mike and Sam.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, raw, and impactful, revealing the true nature of the characters and creating tension and intrigue.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the dynamic dialogue, tension between the characters, and unexpected twists in the game of truth or dare.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing character dynamics, leading to a satisfying resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a dialogue-heavy rooftop scene, with clear character actions and descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure of character interaction and dialogue, building tension and revealing layers of the characters' personalities.


Critique
  • The scene on the rooftop between Mike and Sam feels a bit disjointed and lacks a clear direction or purpose. The dialogue between the characters, while somewhat intriguing, doesn't fully develop their relationship or add depth to their characters.
  • The transition from discussing rehab and adrenaline to playing truth or dare feels abrupt and doesn't flow naturally. The dare of spitting on a stranger's head comes across as random and doesn't add much to the scene.
  • The interaction between Mike and Sam lacks emotional depth and fails to engage the audience on a deeper level. The truth or dare game doesn't lead to any significant revelations or character development.
  • The dialogue exchange towards the end of the scene, where Mike talks about pulling the eyes out of Sam's head, feels out of place and doesn't resonate with the overall tone of the scene.
  • Overall, the scene could benefit from more focused character development, clearer motivations for the dialogue, and a stronger emotional connection between Mike and Sam.
Suggestions
  • Consider revisiting the purpose of the scene and the dynamics between Mike and Sam. Develop their relationship further to create a more engaging and meaningful interaction.
  • Focus on creating dialogue that reveals more about the characters' inner thoughts, emotions, and motivations. Ensure that the conversation flows naturally and contributes to the overall narrative.
  • Explore alternative ways to showcase the characters' vulnerabilities, strengths, and conflicts. Look for opportunities to deepen the emotional impact of the scene and enhance the audience's connection to the characters.
  • Consider refining the truth or dare game to lead to more revealing and impactful moments that shed light on the characters' personalities and relationships.
  • Work on creating a more cohesive and purposeful scene that adds depth to the characters and advances the overall story arc in a meaningful way.



Scene 21 -  Riggan's Ego Shattered
30 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - DAY 30
...Riggan siting with his feet on the window frame, staring at
a manila envelope in his hands that reads... "R, MALIBU
REFINANCE DOCS. SIGN AND SEND ASAP. J." Riggan sighs and props
the letter up against the mirror.

With a soft knock, Laura enters. She stands in the doorway with
an odd expression on her face.

RIGGAN
What now?
Laura lays the Arts section of the New York Times down in front
of Riggan.

LAURA
Don't kill the messenger.

Riggan picks up the paper. His expression immediately changes.
Laura watches him sympathetically.

LAURA (CONT'D)
He's an asshole.

Now we see the cover of the Arts section. There is a picture
of Mike lounging on a black sofa, his bare feet on a table as
he sips a glass of wine. The Title of the article reads...
"CARVING OUT HIS PLACE IN THEATER HISTORY. Shiner says Raymond
Carver is the reason he became an actor." Riggan involuntarily
squeezes the paper as he reads on, filling with rage.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
He’s fooling you.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 65.

RIGGAN
Shut up.

LAURA
(Confused.)
I didn't say anything.

RIGGAN
Fuck. This is it?
(He passes a few pages.)
This can't be it.
LAURA
Page twelve.

Riggan searches desperately for page twelve. When he gets
there, he finds a huge ad of the new Toyota Camry that almost
fills the entire page, and down in the left corner a tiny
press release with the title:

"From Birdman to Carver: An aging Action Hero Grasps for His
Youth."

RIGGAN
(Reading.)
"Riggan Thompson, better known as the face of
the Birdman films, tries not to lay an egg on
Broadway..."
(Flipping pages.)
Where's the rest of it?

LAURA
There is no rest of it.

RIGGAN
They didn’t use the photo I sent them.

LAURA
What photo?

RIGGAN
The one you liked. The one you said
I look like a young Jack Nicholson.

LAURA
(She lights a candle.)
Don't worry about it. Someone'll be using
that to pick up dog shit tomorrow.

RIGGAN
How can you be so calm about this?

LAURA
What are my other choices?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 66.

RIGGAN
Aren't you scared at all?

LAURA
About what?

RIGGAN
About being humiliated out there.

LAURA
It won't be the first time I've been
humiliated.

RIGGAN
I bet it won't.

Laura looks at him with fire in her eyes.

LAURA
You're an asshole.
She charges to the door and is about to leave when she turns
back to Riggan...

LAURA (CONT'D)
By the way... I'm not pregnant. So there's
one thing you don’t have to worry about.

She leaves, slamming the door behind her.

Riggan remains still. Mike seems to be smirking at him right
through the cover of the Arts section...

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
That pretentious, little, theater fuck is
stealing your thunder.

Riggan charges out of the room and into...

31 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 31

...the hallway. He walks to Mike's dressing room, finds the
door half opened and enters...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan Thompson's frustrations reach a boiling point when he discovers that his rival, Mike Shiner, has taken credit for inspiring him to become an actor. As Laura reveals the truth about her pregnancy, Riggan's humiliation intensifies, prompting him to confront Mike in a fit of rage.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Exploration of themes of self-worth and validation
Weaknesses
  • Lack of resolution in some character arcs
  • Limited focus on secondary characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and internal struggles of the characters, creating a tense and dramatic atmosphere. The conflict between Riggan and Mike adds depth to the narrative and keeps the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of facing public humiliation and dealing with personal insecurities is well-developed in this scene. It explores the fragile nature of ego and the pressure to succeed in the competitive world of theater.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as Riggan faces a crisis of confidence and confronts external criticism. The revelation about Laura not being pregnant adds a layer of complexity to the relationships within the story.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the theme of fame and artistic integrity, with authentic character interactions and dialogue that feel true to life.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined and their emotions are portrayed authentically. Riggan's vulnerability and Laura's resilience shine through in their interactions, adding depth to their personalities.

Character Changes: 7

Riggan experiences a shift in his self-perception and confronts his insecurities, while Laura reveals her strength and resilience in the face of adversity. These character changes drive the narrative forward.

Internal Goal: 8

Riggan's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his dignity and reputation in the face of humiliation and criticism. This reflects his deeper need for validation and respect in his career and personal life.

External Goal: 7

Riggan's external goal is to confront Mike and assert his dominance in the theater world. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in terms of competition and public perception.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Riggan and Mike escalates, creating a tense and confrontational atmosphere. The emotional conflict within Riggan adds depth to the narrative and keeps the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and emotions driving the conflict between Riggan and Laura, as well as Riggan and Mike.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Riggan faces public humiliation and struggles to maintain his reputation in the theater world. The outcome of his confrontation with Mike and the impact of external criticism have significant consequences for the characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing new conflicts and character dynamics. Riggan's confrontation with Mike and Laura's revelation about her pregnancy add layers to the plot and set up future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' interactions and the shifting power dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Riggan's desire for artistic integrity and recognition versus the superficiality and commercialism of the entertainment industry. This challenges Riggan's beliefs about success and authenticity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from anger and disappointment to sympathy and confusion. The characters' emotional turmoil resonates with the audience and adds depth to the storytelling.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing the inner thoughts and conflicts of the characters. The verbal sparring between Riggan and Laura showcases their complex dynamic.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high emotional stakes, sharp dialogue, and character dynamics that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of dialogue and action that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise descriptions and dialogue that flow naturally.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a dramatic confrontation in a theater setting, building tension and conflict effectively.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Riggan sitting in his dressing room, feeling defeated and frustrated after reading an article about Mike Shiner in the New York Times.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Laura feels a bit on the nose, with Laura explicitly stating that Mike is an asshole and Riggan expressing his anger and disbelief.
  • The visual of the Arts section cover with Mike lounging on a sofa and the title of the article could be more impactful if shown rather than described through dialogue.
  • The interaction between Riggan and Laura lacks subtlety and depth, making their emotions and reactions feel a bit forced.
  • The transition from Laura revealing she's not pregnant to slamming the door and leaving feels abrupt and could be smoother to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The inner monologue of Birdman adds an interesting layer to Riggan's internal struggle, but it could be integrated more seamlessly into the dialogue and actions of the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider showing the visual elements like the Arts section cover and the article title through props or set design to enhance the impact of Riggan's reaction.
  • Focus on creating more nuanced and subtle dialogue between Riggan and Laura to convey their emotions and reactions in a more realistic and engaging way.
  • Work on the pacing of the scene to allow for a smoother transition between emotional beats and character interactions.
  • Explore ways to integrate Birdman's inner monologue more organically into the scene to add depth to Riggan's internal conflict without feeling disjointed.
  • Consider adding layers of subtext and complexity to the interactions between Riggan and Laura to make their relationship and emotions more compelling and relatable.



Scene 22 -  Backstage Confrontation
32 INT. MIKE'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 32

...discovering Mike lying in a sun bed. His arm is sticking
out of it, holding on to a copy of Borges's 'Labyrinths'.

Riggan yanks the sun bed open. Mike is asleep, wearing tiny
sun goggles. Riggan slams the lid down on him.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 67.

MIKE
What the fuck is going on!

RIGGAN
Get up!

MIKE
Back away.

RIGGAN
Get up.
Riggan slaps Mike on the arm.

MIKE
Ow, fuck that hurts!

RIGGAN
So, Carver is the reason you became an
actor?
MIKE
What?

RIGGAN
This is my play! I did the work. I raised the
money. I arrange the press.

MIKE
They called me for an interview. I said-- I
don't know, I said the first thing that
came to mind. Jesus, we got the cover of
the Arts section!

RIGGAN
You said the first-- Fuck the Arts section.
The first thing that came to mind? Right.
Cause that's you. Mr. Natural. Mr. Fuck the
scene, just stare at my massive hard-on.
Because that's the truth of the moment.
MIKE
You think it looked massive?

RIGGAN
Shut up. Shut the fuck up. You don't get
hard on my stage unless I tell you to.

MIKE
Your stage? This stage belonged to a lot of
great actor's, pal. But you are not one of
them.

Mike storms out of the room. Riggan follows him into...
10/29/14 / 68.

33 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 33

...the hallway. He slaps Mike on his sun burned back.

RIGGAN
So, you wrote your own lines?

He slaps him again.

MIKE
Ow. Fuck. Yes I did.

RIGGAN
You changed a few words, and mumbled a
little, you self absorbed prick.

MIKE
Look who's talking...

RIGGAN
Let me tell you something, you spiteful
nobody piece of shit.
MIKE
Nobody? My hard-on has already fifty
thousand views on youtube.

RIGGAN
Fifty thousand views? A cat playing with
a dildo has more than that.

MIKE
I don't care.

RIGGAN
Yes you do.
(Beat.)
Everybody says: "Mike is so honest". (Smacks
him.) "So truthful". (Smacks him again.)

MIKE
(Like a child.)
Ouch. Fuuuuuck. Cut the shit!
Riggan corners Mike against the wall.

RIGGAN
You said in the interview that your father
was a drunk, like Carver. Is that true
Mike? Is it really true?

Riggan stares intensely into Mike's eyes. Mike looks away.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 69.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Because my father was. My father was a mean
fucking drunk. Beat the shit out of us. But
we were okay with the beatings. You know
why? Because at least when he was beating
us, he wasn't thinking about taking us out
to his tool shed...

Mike's expression changes.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
That sonofabitch would smile and say, "Do
you want to kneel down and unbuckle my
belt? Or do you want me to take it off and
use it?" I learned how to make myself numb.
But my sister-- (Holding back tears.) My
little sister...

Riggan can't go on. Mike is horrified.

MIKE
Jesus, Riggan. I'm really sorry. I
didn't-- That's fucking horrible...

RIGGAN
(Crazy smile.)
Yeah. It's also not true. See? (Cracking
up.) I can pretend too, you little dick!

Riggan shoves Mike violently.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Don't fuck with me, Mike.

MIKE
You're crazy...

RIGGAN
You have no idea what I'm capable of. You
understand me?
Riggan pulls the paper out of his back pocket.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Working with Riggan Thomson is like
waltzing with a monkey?

He smacks Mike in the head with the paper and begins to jump in
front of him, ready to fight.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Let’s go. Put your hands up.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 70.

MIKE
(Tauntingly.)
Don't you want to go put on your tights and
your--

Riggan punches him on the face. Mike needs a few seconds to
understand what has just happened. Then they begin to wrestle
in the hallway. Mike breaks free from the headlock.

MIKE (CONT’D)
What are you gonna do? You gonna get rid of
me? Huh? What do you think my friend
Tabitha is going to write in the Times
after you get rid of me?

Riggan stares at Mike, paralyzed by the truth. Finally, he
turns and marches to his dressing room, and we follow him...
Genres: ["Drama","Dark Comedy"]

Summary In a tense backstage encounter, Riggan confronts Mike about altering his lines and stage behavior. Riggan's accusations escalate into a physical altercation, fueled by a fabricated personal story. Despite the physical clash, the conflict remains unresolved as Riggan storms off.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
  • Plot development
Weaknesses
  • Some moments of dark humor may not resonate with all audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, with intense emotions, strong character dynamics, and significant plot development.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of confronting personal demons and past traumas is effectively portrayed through the interaction between Riggan and Mike.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly as the conflict between Riggan and Mike escalates, leading to a pivotal moment in their relationship.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and unexpected twists in the dialogue and character interactions, creating a sense of unpredictability and authenticity in the characters' actions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Riggan and Mike are well-developed and their complex relationship is central to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both Riggan and Mike experience a shift in their dynamic and understanding of each other during the confrontation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert his authority and control over the situation, reflecting his need for validation and respect in his profession.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to confront the other character about his actions and behavior, reflecting the immediate challenge of maintaining control over the production.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Riggan and Mike is intense and drives the scene forward with high stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and emotions driving the conflict between the characters.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the confrontation between Riggan and Mike add tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing key aspects of the characters' motivations and conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in the dialogue and character revelations, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of truth and manipulation, challenging the protagonist's beliefs about honesty and authenticity in the theater world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the characters and the audience, creating a powerful impact.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, intense, and reveals the deep-seated emotions and conflicts between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense conflict and emotional stakes between the characters, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic confrontation between the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the standard screenplay format, making it easy to follow and visualize the action.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and conflict, fitting the expected format for a dramatic confrontation scene in a screenplay.


Critique
  • The scene is intense and confrontational, which fits the overall tone of the screenplay. However, the dialogue between Riggan and Mike feels a bit forced and melodramatic at times.
  • The physical altercation between Riggan and Mike, while adding tension, may come off as overly dramatic and unrealistic.
  • The revelation of Riggan's fake personal story to provoke Mike feels a bit contrived and could be more subtly integrated into the scene.
  • The transition from intense confrontation to humor with Riggan pretending to be vulnerable and then revealing it was all an act is a bit jarring and could be smoother.
  • The scene could benefit from more nuanced character development and deeper exploration of the underlying emotions driving Riggan and Mike's conflict.
Suggestions
  • Consider toning down the melodrama in the dialogue and focusing on more subtle ways to convey the tension between Riggan and Mike.
  • Instead of a physical altercation, explore other ways to escalate the conflict between Riggan and Mike that feel more organic to the characters.
  • Find a more natural and believable way to reveal Riggan's manipulation of Mike without resorting to a fake personal story.
  • Work on creating a smoother transition between the intense confrontation and the humor in the scene to maintain a consistent tone.
  • Delve deeper into the characters' motivations and emotions to add complexity and depth to the conflict between Riggan and Mike.



Scene 23 -  Inner Turmoil: Riggan Battles His Birdman Persona
34 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 34

...Riggan slams the door shut and paces in a rage. He glares at
a make-up box on the table and, points his finger at it, and
sends it flying across the room.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
You are lame, Riggan. Rolling around
with that third rate actor in an 800
seat shithole like this.

RIGGAN
(Whispering.)
Breathing in, I feel my rage. Breathing
out, I embrace my mental formations.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
You're going to let that poncey theater
fuck threaten you?

Riggan continues breathing deeply with his eyes tightly closed.
He smiles a tiny artificial smile.

RIGGAN
(Whispering.)
Breathing in, I am calm. Breathing out,
I ignore my mental formations. This is a
mental formation. This is a mental form--

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Stop that shit. I am not a mental
formation. I am "you", asshole.

Riggan looks down at the poster on the floor.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 71.

RIGGAN
(Whispering.)
Leave me alone.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
You were a movie star, remember?
Pretentious, but happy...

Riggan opens his eyes, slowly. A sad expression on his face.

RIGGAN
I was not happy.

BIRDMAN
...Ignorant but charming. Now you are a
tiny bitter cocksucker.

RIGGAN
Shut up! Stop whining! I was miserable!

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Yeah. But fake miserable. Hollywood
miserable.

Riggan points his fingers at a lamp and sends it flying.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
What are you trying to prove? Huh? That
you’re an artist? You’re not.

RIGGAN
Fuck you!

Riggan points his fingers at a chair and sends it flying.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Fuck you, coward! And fuck those critics
that made you quit. Our franchise
grossed billions worldwi--

RIGGAN
And billions of flies eat shit everyday!
So what? Does that make it good? (Beat.)
And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but
that was 1992! Look at me! (He takes off
his shirt.) This is what's left!
(Grabbing his neck.) This! (Grabbing his
chest.) This! (Totally exploding.) I'm
fucking disappearing! I'm the answer to a
fucking trivial pursuit question.

Riggan sits down, exhausted.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 72.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
What part of that don't you get? You're
fucking dead.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
We are not dead. We’re--

RIGGAN
Stop saying 'we'! There is no 'we'. I am
not you. I'm Riggan fucking Thomson.
BIRDMAN (V.O.)
No. You're Birdman. Because without me, all
that's left is "you". A sad, selfish,
mediocre actor, grasping--

Riggan points his finger and sends the poster flying, spearing
it on a coat rack, piercing Birdman right through the heart.
Finally, silence. Until...

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
What the hell did you do that for? I liked
that poster.

A confused Riggan looks over to the wall, where the lamp on the
floor is creating a shadow of his figure. Only in the shadow, it
appears as if Riggan is wearing the Birdman costume. Stunned,
Riggan slowly lifts one arm and in the shadow we see a wing.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
It's always 'we' brother.

The television turns on by itself, playing an episode of the
original Birdman cartoon. Riggan points his fingers at the tv
and sends it hurling at the shadow. Then he proceeds to
destroy everything in his room with his telekinetic powers.

We slowly pan to see that, behind Riggan, Jake stands on the
other side of the half-opened door. We push in on Jake,
watching in shock. The camera turns and becomes Jake's POV...
Genres: ["Drama","Psychological Thriller"]

Summary In the confines of his dressing room, Riggan grapples with his inner demons, embodied by his former iconic character, Birdman. Amidst a heated argument, Riggan's frustration and self-doubt erupt, manifesting as telekinetic powers that destroy the objects around him. Jake, a witness to this breakdown, stands frozen in shock as Riggan's room is reduced to shambles, symbolizing the turmoil raging within.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional conflict
  • Innovative use of telekinetic powers
  • Deep exploration of character psyche
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion due to surreal elements
  • Heavy reliance on internal monologue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, emotionally charged, and showcases a unique blend of psychological drama and fantasy elements. The intense confrontation between Riggan and Birdman, as well as the internal turmoil Riggan experiences, make it a standout moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the protagonist battling with his alter ego, represented by Birdman, through telekinetic powers is innovative and thought-provoking. It adds depth to the character development and explores complex themes of identity and artistic struggle.

Plot: 8

The plot is driven by the internal conflict within Riggan and his struggle to come to terms with his past as a Hollywood star and his current state as a struggling actor. The scene propels the narrative forward by revealing Riggan's inner demons and setting up a pivotal moment in his character arc.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its unconventional narrative structure, psychological depth, and thematic complexity. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds a fresh perspective to familiar themes of identity and artistic integrity.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Riggan and Birdman are well-developed and their dynamic in this scene is compelling. Riggan's emotional journey and inner turmoil are portrayed with depth, while Birdman serves as a powerful antagonist representing Riggan's insecurities and fears.

Character Changes: 9

Riggan undergoes a significant transformation in this scene, confronting his inner demons and asserting his true identity separate from Birdman. The confrontation with his alter ego marks a pivotal moment in his character arc.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his identity and past, as represented by his alter ego, Birdman. He grapples with feelings of inadequacy, regret, and the desire to break free from his past persona.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to assert his individuality and reclaim his sense of self-worth. He confronts the voice of Birdman and asserts his own identity as Riggan Thomson.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, encompassing both internal and external struggles. The clash between Riggan and Birdman, as well as Riggan's own inner turmoil, creates a high-stakes and emotionally charged confrontation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external conflicts that challenge his beliefs, values, and sense of self. The unpredictable nature of the conflicts keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as Riggan grapples with his inner demons and confronts his alter ego, Birdman. The outcome of this internal battle will have far-reaching consequences for Riggan's personal and professional life.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial aspects of Riggan's character and setting up future conflicts and resolutions. It deepens the audience's understanding of the protagonist and propels the narrative towards its climax.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its blend of surreal elements, psychological depth, and dark humor. The unexpected twists and turns in the protagonist's internal and external conflicts keep the audience on edge, unsure of how the scene will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's struggle between his past as a Hollywood star and his current desire for artistic integrity. Birdman represents the protagonist's ego and commercial success, while Riggan Thomson symbolizes his true self and artistic aspirations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a profound emotional impact on the audience, evoking feelings of empathy, tension, and catharsis. Riggan's raw vulnerability and inner turmoil resonate deeply, drawing viewers into his emotional journey.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense and confrontational, reflecting the inner conflict and emotional turmoil of the characters. The exchange between Riggan and Birdman is sharp, poignant, and reveals the deep-seated issues they both grapple with.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflict, surreal imagery, and sharp dialogue. The protagonist's internal struggles and external challenges create a sense of suspense and intrigue, drawing the audience into his psychological journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict and emotional intensity. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions creates a sense of urgency and psychological depth, driving the scene forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The use of visual cues and internal monologue enhances the narrative flow and emotional impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows a non-linear and introspective format, reflecting the protagonist's fragmented state of mind and internal conflicts. The dialogue and actions are tightly woven to create a sense of psychological tension and emotional depth.


Critique
  • The scene effectively showcases Riggan's inner turmoil and struggle with his past as a movie star and his current identity crisis.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Birdman is intense and reveals the conflicting thoughts and emotions within Riggan.
  • The use of telekinetic powers as a metaphor for Riggan's internal battle adds a unique and visually striking element to the scene.
  • The transition from Riggan's outburst to his realization of the Birdman shadow and wing is a powerful moment of self-discovery.
  • The scene effectively builds tension and culminates in a visually impactful display of Riggan's inner conflict.
  • The interaction between Riggan and Birdman provides insight into Riggan's struggle with his past persona and his desire to break free from it.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues or symbolism to enhance the metaphorical elements of the scene.
  • Explore different ways to convey Riggan's internal struggle without relying solely on dialogue and telekinetic powers.
  • Provide more context or background information to deepen the audience's understanding of Riggan's relationship with Birdman.
  • Consider incorporating subtle hints or foreshadowing of Riggan's eventual realization and acceptance of his true identity.
  • Experiment with the pacing of the scene to create more dynamic shifts in emotion and intensity.



Scene 24 -  Riggan's Doubts and Lesley's Apology
35 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 35

...and now, from his view, we see Riggan yelling at the shadow.

RIGGAN
Fuck you! Fuck you!

He picks up a chair and throws it down. He then picks up the
newspaper from the floor and tossing it all around. And now we
understand that he is not using telepathy. He has been using
only his hands. Completely mad. As Riggan turns to pick up
something else, he spots Jake on the other side of the door. He
immediately calms himself and walks over.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 73.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
What's up?

JAKE
Um... Well. Two hours to curtain. Why don’t
you rest a little bit?

RIGGAN
Yeah. Sure.

JAKE
Last preview, buddy. We’re almost there.

RIGGAN
Okay.

JAKE
How ya doin?

RIGGAN
Good. Great.
JAKE
Good. That's good.
(A beat.)
The, uh, money came through. I just have to
transfer it to the account.

RIGGAN
Oh, that's terrific...

JAKE
Okay. Well, I'm gonna do that.
(He stares at Riggan who
seems about to collapse.)
You know I’m proud of you, right? This took
balls. And you did it.

Riggan nods. An exhausted sadness in his eyes.

RIGGAN
I can’t do this anymore, Jake.

JAKE
What?

RIGGAN
I think I’m gonna cancel the
preview. I’m exhausted.

JAKE
It’s a joke, right? (He forces a
laugh.) Good one, Riggan.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 74.

RIGGAN
I’m starting to believe that this is not
for me. The applause is... lukewarm. I
think they’re laughing at me.

JAKE
What are you--? Listen. There’s a three
block line of people waiting to see you.
We are sold out. It’s a full house.

RIGGAN
Really?

JAKE
Yes. And the French embassador is
coming. And the prince of Saudi Arabia,
with one of his wives. And... I wasn’t
going to tell you this, but-- Martin
Scorsese. He’s casting for his new
film. But don’t tell anyone, okay? This
is between you and me.
RIGGAN
Okay. I’ll be ready.

Riggan smiles. He has forgotten about his existential doubts.
A worried Jake closes the door. He walks a few steps and
finds Laura and Lesley. They’ve been listening to his
conversation with Riggan.

LESLEY
How is he?

JAKE
He’ll be okay.

LESLEY
Poor creature.

LAURA
Is it true? Scorsese?
JAKE
Yes. And the new Pope too.
(Beat.)

They both understand.

LAURA
You’re an asshole, Jake.

JAKE
I’m the one keeping this boat afloat.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 75.

LESLEY
So there is no line of people out there?

JAKE
I don’t know. Now go and get ready.
That’s your job.
(He begins to walk.)
I’ll better invest in a taco truck, or
a strip joint near the airport.

Laura leaves. We follow Lesley up to Riggan’s dressing room.
She knocks on the door. Nothing. Silence. She half-opens the
door and, from behind her, we see Riggan examining his right
hand. He has blood falling from the palm to the wrist.

LESLEY
Are you okay?

RIGGAN
(Smiles.)
Yeah, I-- This is nothing. Shaving.
He cleans his hand against his trousers.

LESLEY
I just want to say I'm sorry.

RIGGAN
For what?

LESLEY
I knew what Mike was capable of,
and I brought him in, anyway.

RIGGAN
You did good.

Lesley nods. A beat.

LESLEY
Tomorrow's my first opening night
on Broadway.

RIGGAN
Mine too.

LESLEY
And I want you to know that,
whatever happens, I'll always be
grateful to you for that.

RIGGAN
Me too. It’s going to be great. Full
house.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 76.

She looks at him with tender eyes. Then we follow her along
the corridor until she passes by Mike’s dressing room. Mike
half-opens the door and sees Lesley walking by. He has a
black eye. He waits for Lesley to be completely gone, and
then he comes out of his dressing room and we follow him up
the stairs to...
Genres: ["Drama","Dark Comedy"]

Summary Riggan is discovered throwing objects in his dressing room, revealing he was not using telekinetic powers. Jake informs him that the show is sold out, including to several celebrities. Riggan expresses doubts about his performance, but Jake reassures him. Lesley overhears their conversation and expresses remorse for bringing Mike on board. Riggan reassures her that she did a good job. Lesley expresses her gratitude and reveals she will be having her Broadway opening night the next day. Riggan glances at his hand and sees blood dripping from his palm.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension-building
  • Dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Lack of visual spectacle

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and inner conflict of the protagonist, setting up a tense and reflective atmosphere. The dialogue is impactful and reveals the high stakes involved in Riggan's decision-making process.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around Riggan's struggle with his identity and the pressures of fame and success. It explores themes of self-worth, validation, and the sacrifices made in pursuit of artistic recognition.

Plot: 7

The plot focuses on Riggan's internal dilemma and the external pressures he faces leading up to the opening night of his play. It sets the stage for a pivotal moment in Riggan's journey.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the behind-the-scenes drama of the entertainment industry, focusing on the personal and professional challenges faced by the characters. The authenticity of the dialogue and character dynamics adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, particularly Riggan and Jake, are well-developed and their interactions reveal layers of complexity and emotion. Their relationships and motivations drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Riggan undergoes a significant internal transformation in the scene, moving from doubt and despair to a renewed sense of purpose and determination. His interactions with Jake and Lesley also reveal growth and introspection.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist, Riggan, is struggling with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, as seen in his desire to cancel the preview and his belief that the audience is laughing at him. His internal goal is to find validation and confidence in his performance.

External Goal: 7

Riggan's external goal is to successfully perform in the upcoming show and impress the audience and industry figures in attendance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Riggan grapples with his insecurities and doubts. There is also external conflict in the form of the pressure from others and the high expectations placed on him.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and emotional obstacles challenging the protagonist's goals and beliefs.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as Riggan faces the possibility of failure and public humiliation if he cancels the preview. The pressure from external forces and the weight of his own insecurities raise the stakes even further.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of Riggan's character and setting up a crucial decision point for the narrative. It builds anticipation for the upcoming opening night.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in terms of Riggan's emotional journey and the unexpected twists in the dialogue and character interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of success and validation in the entertainment industry. Riggan's struggle with his own perception of his performance and the external validation he receives challenges his beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly in Riggan's moments of vulnerability and self-realization. The tension and stakes are palpable, drawing the viewer into the character's emotional journey.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, poignant, and reveals the inner thoughts and conflicts of the characters. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the emotional impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional intensity, character dynamics, and the high stakes involved in the characters' interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, allowing for moments of quiet reflection and intense outbursts to coexist.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for a dramatic moment in a screenplay, with a clear build-up of tension and emotional resolution.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a powerful emotional outburst from Riggan, but the transition to him calming down when he sees Jake feels a bit abrupt. Consider adding a smoother transition to show Riggan's emotional journey more effectively.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and Jake feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more depth and nuance to convey the weight of Riggan's internal struggles and doubts.
  • The revelation of the theater being sold out and the presence of important figures like Martin Scorsese and the French ambassador feels a bit contrived and could be developed more organically within the scene.
  • The interaction between Jake, Laura, and Lesley after Riggan's conversation lacks depth and could be expanded to provide more insight into their characters and relationships.
  • The moment where Riggan discovers blood on his hand is intriguing but could be further explored to enhance the sense of foreboding and mystery surrounding his character.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more layers to Riggan's emotional turmoil and doubts to make his character arc more compelling and relatable.
  • Work on the dialogue between Riggan and Jake to make it more impactful and reflective of the internal struggles Riggan is facing.
  • Find a more organic way to introduce the information about the theater being sold out and the presence of important figures to avoid feeling forced.
  • Develop the interactions between secondary characters like Jake, Laura, and Lesley to add depth and complexity to their relationships and dynamics.
  • Enhance the symbolism and foreshadowing surrounding Riggan's discovery of blood on his hand to create a sense of intrigue and anticipation for the audience.



Scene 25 -  A Conversation on the Rooftop
38 EXT. ROOFTOP - THEATER - DUSK 38
...the rooftop. He finds Sam standing on the cornice, looking
at the street.

MIKE
For fuck's sake, just jump already.

Sam stares out, a smile creeping over her face.
SAM
How did you know I'd be up here?

MIKE
I didn't. I was just hoping.

Silence. Mike walks up next to her and stares out as well.

SAM
Where's Lesley?

MIKE
Moving on.

SAM
Smart girl...

MIKE
I appreciate that.
A beat.

SAM
Ready for the last preview?
(Noticing his black eye.)
Who did that to you?

Mike smiles. No answer.

SAM (CONT’D)
Could have been anybody, I guess.
(After a beat.)
I’m sort of hoping it was Lesley.
He barely says no, smiling, and lights a cigarette. She
understands.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 77.

SAM (CONT’D)
Oh, don’t tell me...

Silence.

MIKE
What's the worst thing he ever did to
you?

Sam is surprised by the question. She thinks for a moment.
SAM
He was never around, so...

MIKE
That was--?

SAM
No. That was-- Who gives a shit. It
was the way he tried to make up for
it by constantly trying to convince
me I was special. (A beat.) What
about you?

MIKE
My dad?

SAM
Yeah.

MIKE
He pretended I was his son.

She stares him down. Silence.

SAM
So, what happens now?

MIKE
I have no idea...
SAM
Yeah...

A beat.

MIKE
He was right, though.

SAM
About what?

MIKE
About your being special. You’re hanging
around here trying to make yourself
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 78.
MIKE (CONT'D)
invisible behind that fragile little fuck
up routine. But you can’t. You’re
anything but invisible. You’re big. And
you’re sort of this really great mess, a
candle burning at both ends, and no
amount of booze or pills is gonna hide
that.

Sam tosses Mike’s cigarette over the balcony, and kisses him.
He leans into the kiss.
MAN'S VOICE
(From below.)
Jesus Fuck!

She suddenly pulls away.

SAM
It's a good thing you're an actor and not a
writer cause that little speech was just
like, Oprah... Hallmark... R. Kelly bad.
She kisses him lightly one more time and then walks away. When
she gets to the door she stops and leans on the frame.

SAM (CONT’D)
Truth or dare?

MIKE
Truth.

SAM
No.

MIKE
Truth.

SAM
No. Truth or dare?

The slightest smile as she exits through the door, and after a
short pause, Mike follows...

39 INT. HALLWAYS - THEATRE - CONTINUOUS 39

...along a darkened hallway. They reach a tiny wooden door and
Sam leads the way through it.

MIKE
Do you have any idea where you're going?

SAM
Absolutely not.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 79.

She continues on until she gets to...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Mike and Sam, two troubled individuals, engage in a deep and introspective conversation on a rooftop overlooking the city. Mike tries to convince Sam not to jump, and they discuss their past relationships and self-worth issues. Sam reveals the nature of her father's absence and its lasting effects, while Mike shares his own painful experiences. Despite a moment of connection, Sam's inner turmoil remains as they continue their journey through the theatre to an unknown destination.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Vulnerability
  • Introspective dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Pacing may be slow for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively delves into the emotional depth of the characters, providing insight into their inner struggles and relationships. The dialogue is poignant and thought-provoking, creating a strong emotional impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of characters opening up about their past traumas and insecurities while seeking connection and understanding is well-executed. The scene effectively explores themes of self-discovery and vulnerability.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses through the characters' emotional interactions and revelations, leading to a deeper understanding of their motivations and relationships. The conflict between past traumas and present struggles adds depth to the storyline.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic take on complex relationships and emotional dynamics. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and relatable, adding a sense of originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are complex and multi-dimensional, with layers of past traumas and insecurities driving their actions. Their emotional vulnerability and growth throughout the scene make them compelling and relatable.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant emotional growth and self-discovery throughout the scene, leading to a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationships. Their interactions prompt reflection and change.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront his own emotional baggage and connect with Sam on a deeper level. This reflects his need for validation and understanding, as well as his fear of vulnerability and rejection.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate his complicated relationship with Sam and come to terms with his own emotions. This reflects the immediate challenge of confronting his past and moving forward in his personal life.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, stemming from the characters' past traumas and insecurities. The emotional tension between the characters drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and values. The audience is left wondering how these conflicts will be resolved.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are primarily emotional, focusing on the characters' inner struggles and relationships. The outcome of their interactions will impact their personal growth and understanding.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the emotional connections between characters and revealing key insights into their past traumas and insecurities. It sets the stage for further character development and plot progression.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations and character interactions. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the characters will navigate their complex relationships.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' beliefs about self-worth, identity, and emotional honesty. It challenges their views on authenticity, vulnerability, and the nature of relationships.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, delving into the characters' inner struggles and vulnerabilities. The moments of connection and understanding between the characters resonate deeply.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is introspective and emotionally charged, revealing the characters' inner thoughts and feelings. It effectively conveys the depth of their relationships and the struggles they face.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, sharp dialogue, and complex character dynamics. The interactions between the characters draw the audience in and create a sense of intimacy and connection.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and emotional depth. The rhythm of the dialogue and action keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for its genre and enhancing the readability of the dialogue and action.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows a natural progression of character interactions and emotional revelations, fitting the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear direction or purpose, as the conversation between Mike and Sam meanders without a strong narrative arc.
  • The dialogue feels forced and unnatural at times, especially with lines like 'For fuck's sake, just jump already.'
  • The transition from discussing personal issues to a sudden kiss feels abrupt and lacks emotional depth or build-up.
  • The character motivations and emotions are not fully explored or developed, making the interactions between Mike and Sam feel superficial.
  • The scene could benefit from more subtext and nuance in the dialogue to create a deeper connection between the characters.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the purpose of the scene and ensure that the dialogue serves to advance the plot or develop the characters.
  • Work on creating more organic and authentic dialogue that reflects the emotional depth of the characters.
  • Build up the tension and emotional stakes between Mike and Sam before the kiss to make it more impactful and believable.
  • Explore the characters' inner thoughts and motivations to add depth and complexity to their interactions.
  • Consider adding layers of subtext and nuance to the dialogue to create a more engaging and meaningful scene.



Scene 26 -  Backstage Drama
40 INT. ABOVE STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 40

...the "grid" above stage where the lights are located. We can
see, below us, the empty seats of the auditorium and the
kitchen set.

MIKE
What now...?

Mike reaches up to kiss her. She stops him.

SAM
How do you do it?
MIKE
What?

SAM
How do you go out there and pretend to be
someone else in front of all those people?

MIKE
I don't pretend. Not out there. Just about
every place else, but never out there.

SAM
Good to know.

They stare at one another...

MIKE
What are we doing here?

SAM
What do you mean?

MIKE
I mean, what are we doing here?

She moves in.

SAM
Adrenaline...
They kiss. The camera begins to drift down toward the stage...

RIGGAN (O.S.)
Fucking teenager.

As the camera continues down from the grid, we discover an
auditorium full of people staring at the actors on stage.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 80.

RIGGAN (O.S) (CONT’D)
By the time I got to the hospital, the
kid was dead. He was off in a corner
laid out on a gurney. We took the old
couple up to the O.R.. They were a
mess. We worked like hell on them for
most of the night...

We pan along the auditorium back to the stage to find Riggan,
Mike, Lesley and Laura in the kitchen.
RIGGAN (CONT'D)
When we were done, we wrapped them in
full body casts. The husband was
depressed. Even when I told him his
wife was gonna pull through, he was
still depressed. So, I got up to his
mouth hole and asked him, and he told
me it was because he couldn't see her
through the eye holes. Can you imagine?
I’m telling you, the man's heart was
breaking because he couldn't turn his
goddamn head and see his goddamn wife.

LESLEY
(In genuine tears.)
That's terrible. (Beat.) Perfect.
And terrible.

She is crushed. Laura holds Lesley, trying to control her own
emotion.

RIGGAN
(Taking this in.)
Yeah. So I guess what we have to
ask ourselves is... What do we talk
about when we talk about love?

The lights go to a blackout and the audience applauds as some
scene change music plays. As we follow Riggan off stage, the
lights are turned on again, but now they have an orange mood.
Lesley is the only one on stage, doing a monologue.

LESLEY
Mel and I have been together five
years, been married for four. But
it was Ed who taught me something
no one else could... He taught me
what it felt like to really feel
loved. And the terrible thing is
that if something happened to Mel
or myself, if something happened to
either one of us tomorrow, I think
the other one would grieve for a
while, you know, but then would go
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 81.
LESLEY (CONT'D)
out and love again, have someone
else soon enough. All this-- All of
this love we’re talking about... it
would just be a memory. Maybe not
even a memory. Am I wrong? I mean,
I don’t know anything. And I’m the
first one to admit it.

A Dresser waits in the wings to help Riggan with his change.

DRESSER
That was amazing!

Riggan looks proud. Things are finally going well. He undresses
to his underwear and puts on a robe and his moccasins, as the
stage begins to revolve. Laura, in costume, walks up beside
him. Over the following dialogue, the kitchen gives way to the
extravagant garden set we saw before.

LAURA
(A bit distant.)
It's actually going well.

RIGGAN
Yeah. (A beat.) Hey. I think we have to
talk.

LAURA
(Sad smile.)
No. We don't.

Riggan nods.

RIGGAN
Right. (Beat.) We will eventually,
though, ‘cause that’s the only way I get
to say I’m sorry. I really am.

Silence.

LAURA
We could've made good parents.

RIGGAN
Horrible. We would've been just--

LAURA
Awful. Would have raised, like...

RIGGAN
...a serial killer...

LAURA
...or Justin Bieber.
(She smiles at him.)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 82.
LAURA (CONT'D)
I'm not really the housewife type anyway. I
thought I could be a mom. My body seems to
disagree.

The lights come up and Laura walks onto the stage.

LAURA (CONT’D)
(Back to him.)
You were right. This was fun.
Riggan watches her go, but something else grabs his attention.
We pan across the stage to see Sam and Mike on the other side.
They talk and laugh. Sam kisses Mike softly. Mike playfully
grabs her ass.

We pan back to Riggan. His expression morphs from broken-
hearted to rage. He marches over to a stage hand.
RIGGAN
You have a cigarette?

The stage hand holds out a pack, Riggan takes one.

STAGE HAND
You need a light?

Riggan snatches the lighter and storms out through the hallway,
and out the back door of the theater to...
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary After a performance, backstage tensions flare as Sam and Mike's kiss triggers Riggan's jealousy. Meanwhile, Riggan and Laura confront their past and conflicting feelings. Lesley's monologue on love's transience adds a poignant undertone.
Strengths
  • Deep emotional connections between characters
  • Revealing personal struggles and insecurities
  • Intense and impactful dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some moments of melodrama
  • Slightly predictable character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is emotionally impactful, with intense moments of confrontation and vulnerability. It sets up a significant turning point in the story and reveals important character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of exploring complex relationships, personal struggles, and the search for meaning in life is well-executed. The scene effectively delves into the characters' inner conflicts and desires.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly with revelations about the characters' pasts, their current relationships, and the unfolding conflicts. The scene sets up future conflicts and resolutions.

Originality: 9

The scene explores familiar themes of love and relationships in a fresh and nuanced way, with authentic character interactions and emotional depth.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities, motivations, and emotional depth. Their interactions drive the scene forward and reveal important aspects of their arcs.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo significant emotional changes and revelations in the scene, leading to personal growth, self-reflection, and new perspectives. The scene sets up future character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to confront his feelings of inadequacy and insecurity about his acting abilities and relationships.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate his relationships with the other characters and maintain his professional reputation in the theater world.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The scene contains internal and external conflicts, including emotional confrontations, personal struggles, and moments of betrayal. The conflicts drive the character development and plot progression.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with emotional conflicts and uncertainties driving the character interactions.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high in the scene due to the emotional confrontations, personal revelations, and moments of betrayal. The characters' relationships and futures are at risk, adding tension and drama.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing important character dynamics, setting up future conflicts and resolutions, and advancing the plot with significant revelations and emotional moments.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its emotional twists and turns, keeping the audience engaged.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of love and relationships, as the characters discuss the complexities and uncertainties of love.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, with moments of sadness, anger, and hope. The characters' vulnerabilities and struggles resonate deeply, creating a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful, emotional, and reflective of the characters' inner thoughts and feelings. It drives the emotional intensity of the scene and reveals important character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the emotional depth, character dynamics, and thematic exploration of love and relationships.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, contributing to its effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and follows the expected format for a screenplay.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic dialogue-driven scene in a theater setting.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a moment of intimacy between Sam and Mike, but the transition to Riggan's monologue about a hospital incident feels abrupt and disconnected.
  • The dialogue between Riggan and the other characters on stage feels forced and lacks a natural flow, making it difficult for the audience to fully engage with the scene.
  • The emotional impact of Lesley's monologue about love is overshadowed by the sudden shift to Riggan undressing and preparing for the next scene, causing a disconnect in the emotional arc of the scene.
  • The transition from the intimate moment between Sam and Mike to Riggan's rage and desire for a cigarette feels jarring and lacks a smooth transition.
  • The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict, making it feel disjointed and lacking in cohesion.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to have a more cohesive flow, with a clear central conflict or theme that ties the different elements together.
  • Work on creating a smoother transition between the intimate moment between Sam and Mike and Riggan's monologue, to ensure a more seamless progression of the scene.
  • Focus on developing the emotional arc of the scene, allowing the audience to fully connect with the characters and their journey.
  • Consider trimming down the dialogue and focusing on impactful, meaningful exchanges between the characters to enhance the overall impact of the scene.
  • Explore ways to build tension and suspense throughout the scene, leading to a more impactful and satisfying resolution.



Scene 27 -  Riggan's Embarrassing Escape
41 EXT. AN ALLEY WAY - OUTSIDE THE THEATER - CONTINUOUS 41

...the alley. Down at the end, we can see the tourists making
their way about the streets. Riggan lights the cigarette and
leans back against the stage door trying to calm himself.

RIGGAN
Breathing in, I calm myself. Breathing out,
I ease myself.

But this is New York City. A fluorescent light buzzes above his
head. Taxis honk their horns. The sound of pedestrians yelling
at one another. All fueling his agitation.
Riggan checks his watch. He pulls one last drag from the
cigarette before he tosses it, and turns to head back in, only
to realize the door has locked. He tries to pull it open to no
avail. He begins to knock loudly on the door. There is no
response. He knocks louder. Nothing.

He is turning to walk away when he realizes that his robe is
caught in the door. He checks his watch again and now is
beginning to panic. He tries to tear at the robe but the terry
cloth is too strong for him to rip. Frantically, he looks around
for an answer. No answer. No time. He pulls the robe off of him
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 83.

and, wearing only his underwear and moccasins, he charges down
the alley way toward...

42 EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS 42

...the street. Now, rushing down the block in his underwear. A
tourist spots him.

TOURIST
Hey, aren't you...?

RIGGAN
I'm sorry. I can't really--

TOURIST
Riggan Thompson! Holy Shit! Let me get an
autograph.

Riggan marches on as a few more people begin to notice. The
Tourist runs in front of him, forcing him to stop.

TOURIST (CONT'D)
Come on, man. Don't be a dick. Let me have
an autograph.

The man produces a pen and a magazine from his pocket. More
people begin to gather...

MAN ON STREET
Birdman!

Seeing no other way out, Riggan signs the autograph.

TOURIST
Dude! You fuckin' rock!

Directly in front of him stand a lady and her two kids.

LADY
Can we take one picture?

RIGGAN
Are you kidding me?

KID #1
Why is he naked?
LADY
One picture...

KID #2
I can see his weenie.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 84.

Riggan tries to get past them, but a crowd has formed. A swarm
of cell phones begin to glow like fireflies.

LADY
(To her kids.)
Get next to him!

RIGGAN
Give me a fucking break, lady.

The kids run up next to him. Even more people crowding around.
Riggan puts up his middle finger, just as the Lady takes the
shot. He shoves the kids aside and moves on.

WOMAN ON STREET
He looks so old in person.

MAN ON STREET
(From across the street.)
You suck!
RIGGAN
Fuck you!

Riggan pushes through the crowd to get to the lobby. The people
begin to chant. Dozens of cell phones recording him.

CROWD
Bird-man! Bird-man! Bird-man!

Riggan pushes his way through to the lobby doors...

43 INT. LOBBY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 43

...to be stopped by the vision of Ralph in a wheelchair. His
head wrapped in a bandage. A man in a suit next to him.

RIGGAN
Jesus Christ! What're you doing here?

RALPH
Waiting for Jake. This is Mr. Roth, my
attorney.

Riggan continues walking toward the auditorium. Ralph and Mr.
Roth follow him.

MR. ROTH
We're pursuing financial remuneration for the
injuries Mr. Pinkus suffered while rehearsing
your--

RIGGAN
I have a play to do.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 85.

RALPH
I'm going to ruin you!

Riggan storms toward the auditorium, but is stopped by an old
Usher.

OLD USHER
I'm sorry sir, you're going to have--

Riggan shoves the old lady aside and enters...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan gets locked out of the theater and is forced to run down the street in his underwear to get back in. Along the way, he is confronted by fans and hecklers, and is eventually confronted by Ralph and his attorney in the lobby.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Complex characters
  • High level of conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too chaotic or over-the-top

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is intense, engaging, and full of conflict, with a mix of humor and drama that keeps the audience on edge.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a washed-up actor facing public humiliation and personal turmoil is compelling and well-executed.

Plot: 7

The plot is fast-paced and full of unexpected twists and turns, keeping the audience engaged and entertained.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh take on the trope of a celebrity facing a public spectacle, with unique character interactions and unexpected obstacles.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their interactions drive the scene forward, adding depth and complexity to the story.

Character Changes: 7

Several characters experience growth and change throughout the scene, particularly Riggan as he confronts his own insecurities and struggles.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to calm himself and regain composure despite the overwhelming external chaos.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to get back into the theater for his play despite facing obstacles like a locked door and a crowd of fans.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, driving the tension and drama to a high level.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with multiple obstacles and conflicting characters creating uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for the characters, as they face public humiliation, personal crises, and confrontations that could change their lives.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward significantly, revealing new conflicts and developments that will impact the rest of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its escalation of obstacles and unexpected interactions, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's desire for privacy and control over his own life versus the public's intrusion and demands for his attention.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to empathy, as the characters navigate their personal struggles.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the inner thoughts and emotions of the characters effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced action, humor, and relatable themes of public scrutiny and personal struggle.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, with a balance of action and dialogue that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, adhering to industry standards for screenplay format.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure with a buildup of tension, obstacles, and a resolution, fitting the expected format for a dramatic screenplay.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Riggan trying to calm himself with a cigarette in an alleyway, but the chaotic environment of New York City fuels his agitation, creating a disconnect between the setting and Riggan's internal struggle.
  • The locking of the stage door and Riggan's robe getting caught feel contrived and forced, lacking a natural flow in the narrative.
  • The interaction with the tourists and the autograph signing comes off as cliched and predictable, diminishing the impact of Riggan's emotional state.
  • The scene escalates quickly with Riggan being surrounded by a crowd of people, leading to a series of unrealistic and exaggerated interactions that feel out of place in the context of the story.
  • The dialogue and reactions of the people in the crowd lack depth and authenticity, making the scene feel more like a caricature than a meaningful moment in Riggan's journey.
  • The transition from the chaotic street scene to the confrontation with Ralph and his attorney in the lobby feels abrupt and disjointed, lacking a smooth transition between the different elements of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the setting to better reflect Riggan's internal turmoil and create a more cohesive atmosphere that complements his emotional state.
  • Focus on creating a more organic and believable sequence of events that lead to Riggan's confrontation with Ralph, avoiding cliches and contrived situations.
  • Develop the interactions with the crowd in a way that adds depth to Riggan's character and enhances the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Ensure that the dialogue and reactions of the characters feel authentic and serve to advance the narrative and character development in a meaningful way.
  • Work on improving the pacing and flow of the scene to create a more seamless transition between the different beats and elements of the story.



Scene 28 -  Riggan's Downfall
44 INT. AUDITORIUM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 44

...the theater. Riggan stands in the back among the audience.
He sees the "rain" falling on the stage. The "Motel" sign is
lit. Mike and Lesley are in bed, for the motel scene, waiting
for the knock on the door. With nothing else to do, Riggan
yells his line from the back of the auditorium...

RIGGAN
Knock knock knock! Terri! Terri!

The audience turns to see Riggan standing in his underwear.
They begin to murmur and laugh and point at him.
Riggan marches down the aisle. He looks haggard and covered
with perspiration.

Lesley and Mike, confused, come out of bed.

LESLEY
Ed! What are you doing here?

RIGGAN
Why? I need you to tell me why. I lived for
you-- I worshipped you...

MIKE
Listen Ed, I know this is hard but--

RIGGAN
Fuck you. Shut up. Fuck you.

Giggles from the audience. Riggan turns threateningly and points
to an audience member on the aisle who is giggling at him.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Shut up!

The guy stops smiling. The audience goes silent. Riggan arrives
at the apron of the stage. Annie from the wings slides the gun
towards him. Riggan grabs it and points it at Mike.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 86.

LESLEY
Eddie! Please!

Riggan climbs onto the stage. Exhausted. He goes to Mike and,
with a last effort, pushes him lamely.

RIGGAN
What's wrong with me? Why do I end
up having to beg people to love me?

LESLEY
Ed. Eddie. Please... Give me the gun.

We pan to the wings where Jake is staring in disbelief. His
cellphone begins to vibrate, and he answers.

JAKE
Yeah. (A beat.) What?... No no no no no no
no. Wait there. I'm coming out in--

He walks toward the hallway and we follow him...

45 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 45

...through the corridor.

JAKE
No. Wait. Wait for me. I'll be there in a
second. (Beat.) What is that, a threat?
(Beat.) What wheelchair? (Beat.) Wait.
Don't hang up. Mr. Roth, we can discuss--
Hello?... Hello?...

He goes out one of the exits and we are left with the silence of
the empty hallway. After a few seconds, the sound of the gunshot
from the scene echoes through the theater. The audience
applauds. The camera starts to move forward. A few seconds later
Riggan takes over the POV with his bloody long wig and the fake
gun. We follow up to...
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Riggan enters the auditorium in his underwear, confronts Lesley and Mike on stage, asking why they don't love him. He points a gun at Mike, and Lesley begs him to give it to her. Jake hears a gunshot and rushes out to investigate. The audience applauds, and the camera follows Riggan's bloody wig as he takes over the point of view.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Raw and authentic character interactions
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Potentially triggering content
  • Violent confrontation

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, emotionally charged, and pivotal to the story. It effectively builds tension and reveals deep-seated emotions of the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a character reaching their breaking point and confronting others with a gun is intense and gripping. It adds a layer of suspense and drama to the narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot reaches a critical moment with Riggan's outburst, revealing underlying tensions and conflicts between the characters. It propels the story forward and sets the stage for further developments.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to a dramatic confrontation, with unexpected actions and dialogue that feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are deeply explored in this scene, showcasing their vulnerabilities, insecurities, and complex relationships. Their interactions are raw and authentic, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo significant emotional changes in this scene, particularly Riggan, who reaches a breaking point. Their relationships and dynamics are altered as a result.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to seek validation and love, as evidenced by his desperate actions and dialogue.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to confront Mike and express his emotions, leading to a dramatic confrontation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with tensions escalating to a breaking point. The emotional and psychological conflicts between the characters drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges and obstacles that create conflict and drama.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with characters facing intense emotional and psychological challenges. The outcome of their interactions could have profound consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing key conflicts, emotions, and character motivations. It sets the stage for further developments and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions and dialogue that keep the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's need for love and validation conflicting with his feelings of inadequacy and desperation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a profound emotional impact on the audience, evoking feelings of empathy, tension, and catharsis. The raw emotions displayed by the characters resonate deeply.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense and emotionally charged, reflecting the inner turmoil of the characters. It effectively conveys their conflicting emotions and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotions, unexpected actions, and dramatic tension that keeps the audience on edge.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and follows the expected format for a dramatic confrontation in a theater setting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and drama, leading to a climactic moment.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from Riggan being discovered throwing objects in his dressing room to suddenly being in the auditorium in his underwear yelling his line from the play.
  • The sudden shift in Riggan's behavior, from being discovered throwing objects to marching into the auditorium in his underwear, feels disjointed and lacks a smooth narrative flow.
  • The dialogue between Riggan, Lesley, and Mike lacks depth and emotional resonance, making it difficult for the audience to fully connect with the characters' motivations and conflicts.
  • The audience's reaction to Riggan's appearance in his underwear, while initially humorous, quickly turns into a serious confrontation with the gun, which feels tonally inconsistent.
  • The resolution of the scene with Riggan pushing Mike and questioning his need to beg for love lacks a satisfying emotional payoff or resolution.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition or build-up to Riggan's entrance into the auditorium in his underwear to make the scene feel more cohesive.
  • Develop the dialogue between Riggan, Lesley, and Mike to deepen the emotional impact and provide more insight into their relationships and conflicts.
  • Ensure that the tone of the scene remains consistent throughout, especially during the confrontation with the gun, to maintain the audience's engagement and understanding.
  • Explore different ways to resolve Riggan's emotional turmoil and self-reflection in a more impactful and meaningful manner.
  • Consider revising the scene to provide a clearer narrative arc and character development for Riggan, Lesley, and Mike to enhance the overall storytelling.



Scene 29 -  Riggan's Dressing Room
46 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 46

...his dressing room. He puts on a robe. He walks to his
refrigerator without acknowledging Sam who is sitting on the
couch, scribbling her dashes on the toilet paper once again.
Riggan takes out a plastic container of bologna and a jar of
mustard. He sits in front of his dressing table, peels open the
bologna and opens the jar of mustard. Slice by slice, he dips
the bologna in the mustard and shoves it into his mouth.

SAM
Dad...?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 87.

RIGGAN
(Looking up.)
Hey. How ya doin'?

SAM
Are you okay?

RIGGAN
Why?

SAM
I don't know. You seem--

RIGGAN
(Eating.)
I'm good. This is good.
(Holding out a piece.)
You want some?

SAM
I'm good.
RIGGAN
Great. Great.

He continues to eat. She tries to fill the odd silence.

SAM
So. Opening night, tomorrow.

RIGGAN
Yeah.

SAM
That's exciting, huh?

RIGGAN
Yeah. Well... I don't know. The previews
have been a train wreck. We haven't been
able to get through a performance
without a raging fire... or a raging
hard-on. I'm not really sleeping, you
know, at all. And I'm pretty much broke.
Oh, and also, this play feels like a
miniature, deformed version of myself
that keeps following me around, hitting
me in the balls with a tiny hammer.
(Beat.)
Sorry, what was your question?

SAM
(Looking through phone.)
Never mind... Tonight wasn't bad. It was
weird. But that's sort of cool. People
seemed to like it.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 88.

Silence. Riggan notices the toilet paper.

RIGGAN
What are you doing? Some homework?

SAM
No. I don't-- When I was in rehab, they
made us do this.

RIGGAN
Really...
SAM
Yeah. These dashes, represent the six
billion years the planet has existed.
Each dash represents 100 years.

She unravels the roll and we see that there are thousands of
black marks running along the toilet paper. She takes the last
two panels and tears them off.
SAM (CONT'D)
And this... (Hands them to him.) ...is
supposed to represent the entire time us
humans have been here. One hundred and
fifty thousand years. That's it.
(Beat.)
I guess they were trying to remind us
that that's what all our egos and self-
obsession are worth.

Riggan stares at the paper, and then at Sam.

RIGGAN
(Casually.)
I was a shitty father, wasn't I?

SAM
No. You were a-- (She stops herself.)
You were fine.
He stops chewing and stares out.

RIGGAN
Fine... You're right. I am just
"fine". Adorably mediocre.

He smiles to her sadly, and then he wipes the mustard from his
face with the piece of toilet paper.

SAM
Dad!

RIGGAN
What?
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 89.

Sam looks at the ruined toilet paper in his hands.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Oh... Shit. I'm sorry.

SAM
(Smiling.)
It's okay. You just destroyed the entire
human race in one blow.

Riggan looks at her with the saddest of expressions.
SAM (CONT’D)
Dad. (She hesitates.) Do you know
you’re becoming a trending topic?

RIGGAN
Really? What does that mean?

Sam searches for something on her iPhone and then hands it to
Riggan. Riggan looks at the phone and sees a hand-held video of
himself in the streets in his underwear.

SAM
350,000 views in less than an hour.
Believe it or not, this is power.

Riggan looks at more footage, seemingly confused. After a
moment, the phone vibrates and the video is interrupted by a
text message, which reads “Truth or Dare?”

RIGGAN
It’s for you.

She grabs the phone and looks at the screen. Then at her
father. Riggan is staring at her. She looks down.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Go ahead...

SAM
(Hesitant.)
Are you...?

RIGGAN
Go.

A sympathetic smile. An understanding. Sam exits.

Riggan stares into the mirror absently. His eyes locked on
his reflection trying to find himself in the image. Then he
spots a vase with dying roses, the same roses he flung to the
ground previously.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 90.

He gets up and goes into the bathroom. He pulls off the long
wig and the mustache. He washes his face. Then he opens a
small bottle and uses the liquid to scrub his goatee. The
dark dye begins to run out, leaving only white hair. For the
first time we see that Riggan has a white beard.

He puts on new clothes and comes out of the bathroom. He grabs
a beige raincoat and heads out of the dressing room and
into...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Riggan, an anxious actor, eats bologna and mustard in his dressing room before opening night. He ignores his daughter, Sam, until she brings up his past as a father and his financial situation, leading him to reflect on his shortcomings. Riggan realizes Sam has become a trending topic on social media due to a video of her in her underwear, and encourages her to leave. He removes his Birdman makeup and wig, revealing his white beard, and leaves the dressing room.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Exploration of themes
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Slow pacing

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys Riggan's internal struggles and emotional turmoil, providing depth to his character and setting up potential character growth.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of juxtaposing Riggan's personal reflection with his public humiliation adds layers to the narrative and highlights the contrast between his private and public personas.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses by revealing Riggan's inner thoughts and struggles, hinting at potential developments in his character arc.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on the struggles of an actor and a father, with unique dialogue and character interactions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and emotions adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Riggan's character is well-developed in this scene, showcasing his vulnerability, regret, and self-awareness.

Character Changes: 7

Riggan undergoes a subtle but significant change in this scene as he confronts his past mistakes and begins to reflect on his actions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his past mistakes as a father and his current struggles as an actor. This reflects his deeper need for validation and self-acceptance.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to prepare for opening night and deal with the consequences of a viral video. This reflects the immediate challenges he is facing in his career and personal life.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

The conflict is more internal and emotional in this scene, focusing on Riggan's personal struggles rather than external conflicts.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to challenge the protagonist's beliefs and actions, creating conflict and tension for the audience.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes are more internal and personal in this scene, focusing on Riggan's emotional well-being and self-perception.

Story Forward: 6

While the scene doesn't significantly move the plot forward, it deepens the audience's understanding of Riggan's character and sets the stage for potential developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations and character interactions that keep the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the protagonist's struggle with his own self-worth and the impact of his actions on others. This challenges his beliefs about success, fame, and family.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly in Riggan's moments of self-realization and vulnerability.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue between Riggan and Sam is poignant and reveals their strained relationship, adding depth to their characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth of the characters, the humor interspersed throughout, and the tension of the protagonist's struggles.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing moments of reflection and tension to build, creating a dynamic and engaging atmosphere.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a character-driven drama, with a focus on internal conflicts and emotional development.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear direction or purpose, as it meanders between Riggan eating bologna and mustard, Sam discussing her rehab experience, and Riggan reflecting on his shortcomings as a father.
  • The dialogue feels forced and unnatural at times, especially when Sam abruptly brings up the toilet paper dashes and Riggan's parenting.
  • The transition from discussing the toilet paper dashes to Riggan realizing he's becoming a trending topic on social media feels disjointed and abrupt.
  • The emotional depth of Riggan's realization about his parenting and his reaction to becoming a trending topic is not fully explored or developed.
  • The scene lacks a strong emotional impact or a clear resolution, leaving the audience feeling disconnected from the characters and their struggles.
Suggestions
  • Focus on a central theme or conflict to drive the scene forward, such as Riggan's internal struggle with his identity as a father or his newfound fame on social media.
  • Streamline the dialogue to make it more natural and engaging, ensuring that each conversation contributes to the overall narrative of the scene.
  • Develop Riggan and Sam's relationship further to create a more meaningful and impactful interaction between them.
  • Consider adding more visual elements or actions to enhance the emotional depth of the scene, such as Riggan's body language or facial expressions reflecting his inner turmoil.
  • Provide a clearer resolution or cliffhanger at the end of the scene to keep the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.



Scene 30 -  Confronting the Critic
47 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 47

...the hallway. As he passes by Mike’s door he can hear Sam and
Mike. They’re trying to be as quiet as possible, but we can hear
them flirting and laughing.

He pauses for a moment but continues on. After a few seconds,
his phone vibrates. He looks at it. A text from Jake reads:
“Have you seen this??? Awesome!!!” He clicks the attachment and
sees the, now infamous, video of his underwear escapade in the
street. We zoom in until the image fills the screen, when we
finally pull away, we discover that...

48 INT. RUM HOUSE - LATER 48
...Riggan's video is being played now in a television in the
bar. We see the MTV logo on the bottom of the screen and a video
caption that reads: “Birdman goes viral, 930.000 views and
counting”. The camera pans to find Riggan sitting at the bar,
drunk. He is one of the few customers. He polishes off his
drink.
RIGGAN
Let me have another one.

BARTENDER
You got it.

The bartender pours another whiskey for Riggan. A waiter steps
up to the bar. The bartender points to a martini.

BARTENDER (CONT'D)
(To the waiter.)
That's going over to Ms. Dickinson.

Riggan's head tilts at the mention of the name. He looks over to
see Tabitha sitting at a table, scratching in her notebook.

RIGGAN
(Hands the waiter a bill.)
I got it. She's a friend of mine.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 91.

The waiter pockets the money and gives Riggan the drink. He
walks it over to Tabitha and places it down in front of her. Not
looking up, she pulls the drink closer and takes a sip.

Riggan sits down across from her. She looks up and immediately
recognizes him. He takes out the Carver cocktail napkin and
pushes it in front of her. She looks at him, and then down to
the napkin. She reads it in silence.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
(Re: The napkin.)
That was twenty years before I put on that
damned costume.

A pause. Then she pushes the napkin back toward him.

TABITHA
I don't care.

RIGGAN
I'm just saying, when you come tomorrow
night, I want you--

TABITHA
It doesn’t matter.

RIGGAN
What are you--

TABITHA
I'm going to destroy your play.

RIGGAN
You haven't even seen it. I don't-- Did I
do something to offend you?

TABITHA
As a matter of fact you did. You took up
space in a theater which otherwise might
have been used on something worthwhile.
RIGGAN
But you don't even know if it's--

TABITHA
That’s true. I haven't read a word of it,
or even seen a preview, but after the
opening tomorrow I'm going to turn in the
worst review anybody has ever read. And I'm
going to close your play. Would you like to
know why? Because I hate you. And everyone
you represent. Entitled. Spoiled. Selfish.
Children. Blissfully untrained, unversed
and unprepared to even attempt real art.
Handing each other awards for cartoons and
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 92.
TABITHA (CONT'D)
pornography. Measuring your worth in
weekends. Well, this is the theater, and
you don't get to come in here and pretend
you can write, direct and act in your own
propaganda piece without going through me
first. So, break a leg.

Tabitha goes back to her writing. Riggan sits for a moment.

RIGGAN
What has to happen in someone's life,
for them to end up becoming a critic?

She looks up at him.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Whatcha writin’? You reviewin’ a play? Was
it good? Bad? Did you even see it? Lemme
read.

He snatches the notebook from her.
TABITHA
I will call the police.

RIGGAN
No you won’t. Let’s read your review!
(He scans the notebook.)
“Callow”. A label. “Lackluster”. Label.
“Marginalia”. Sounds like you need
penicillin to clear that up. None the
less... label.
(Looks to Tabitha.)
All labels. You’re a lazy fucker
aren’t you?
(Looks one last time at
the notebook.)
Epistemological vertigo?

Tabitha wants to reach for the notebook, but her pride won’t
let her. Riggan takes a flower from a vase at the center of the
table.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
You know what this is? You don’t, do
you? You can’t even see it if you don’t
label it. You mistake those sounds in
your head for true knowledge.

TABITHA
Are you finished?

RIGGAN
(Wrinkling one of the pages.)
Nothin’ about intention, structure,
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 93.
RIGGAN (CONT'D)
technique. Just crappy opinions backed
up by crappy comparisons. You’re
incapable of writing more than a couple
of paragraphs, and you risk nothing of
yourself.
(He tears out the page and tosses
the notebook.)
Well, I’m an actor and this play has
cost me everything. So you can take
your cowardly, malicious, shittily
written reviews and shove them up
your... (Showing her the wrinkled
page.) ...wrinkly, tight ass.

Riggan wears a proud smile. And suddenly, Tabitha begins to
smile with him.

TABITHA
You think you’re an actor?
(Calls to the waiter.)
Eddie!
Eddie the waiter approaches the table.

WAITER
Yeah, Mrs. Dickinson?

TABITHA
Give us some Shakespeare.

WAITER
No problem. Got anything in mind?

Tabitha looks over at Riggan picking the perfect verse.

TABITHA
The Scottish Play. Act five...

WAITER
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to
day, To the last syllable of recorded
time; And all our yesterdays have lighted
fools. The way to dusty death...

He is brilliant. The monologue is perfectly played and powerful.
Riggan being mercilessly reminded of his mediocrity... by Eddie
the waiter.

WAITER (CONT'D)
...Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a
walking shadow, a poor player, That
struts and frets his hour upon the
stage, And then is heard no more. It is
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 94.
WAITER (CONT'D)
a tale told by an idiot, full of sound
and fury... Signifying nothing.

A few drunks clap at the beautiful performance. Then, a powerful
silence rings out for a moment, until...

TABITHA
Thank you, Eddie.

WAITER
You got it.
TABITHA
(To Riggan. A derisive laugh.)
You're no actor. You're a celebrity.
Let's be clear on that.

Tabitha rises from her seat and grabs her things.

TABITHA (CONT’D)
I'm going to kill your play.
She walks away. Riggan sits numb. After a moment, he reaches
over and gulps down Tabitha's entire martini, gin pouring out
the sides of his mouth. Unaware, he slams the empty martini
glass on top of the Carver napkin and gets up. We follow him
out onto...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Riggan watches his viral video and confronts critic Tabitha, who vows to destroy his play. They engage in a tense conversation about art and criticism, leaving Riggan frustrated and Tabitha determined to kill his play.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
  • Tension and conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Lack of physical action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is highly engaging and intense, with strong dialogue and emotional depth. The confrontation between Riggan and Tabitha adds a layer of conflict and tension that drives the narrative forward.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a struggling actor facing harsh criticism from a powerful critic is compelling and adds depth to the character dynamics. The scene explores themes of art, criticism, and self-worth.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as Riggan faces a major obstacle in the form of Tabitha's threat to destroy his play. This conflict raises the stakes and sets up a crucial turning point in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the conflict between artists and critics, exploring the complexities of artistic expression and public reception. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Riggan and Tabitha are well-developed and their interactions reveal layers of complexity and emotion. Riggan's vulnerability and Tabitha's harsh criticism create a compelling dynamic.

Character Changes: 7

Riggan experiences a shift in his perception of himself as an actor, as he confronts Tabitha's harsh criticism. This confrontation challenges his beliefs and forces him to reevaluate his identity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to prove his worth as an actor and artist, seeking validation and recognition for his work. This reflects his deeper need for respect and admiration in the face of criticism and doubt.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to salvage his play from a scathing review and potential closure by the critic. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in protecting his artistic vision and career.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Riggan and Tabitha is intense and drives the scene forward. Their clash of ideologies and personalities creates a high-stakes confrontation that keeps the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the critic posing a significant threat to the protagonist's goals and beliefs. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding to the scene's tension.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Riggan faces the threat of having his play destroyed by Tabitha. The outcome of their confrontation will have significant consequences for Riggan's career and self-image.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a major conflict between Riggan and Tabitha, setting up a crucial turning point in the narrative. It raises the stakes and adds tension to the plot.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in the dialogue and character dynamics. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflict will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the clash between artistic integrity and commercial success, as well as the role of critics in shaping public perception of art. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the value of his work and the nature of true artistry.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes strong emotions as Riggan faces rejection and criticism from Tabitha. His vulnerability and frustration resonate with the audience, creating a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and filled with subtext. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict between Riggan and Tabitha, adding depth to their characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense conflict, emotional depth, and dynamic character interactions. The audience is drawn into the protagonist's struggle and the high stakes of the situation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with well-timed reveals and character interactions. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the scene's emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure, moving seamlessly between locations and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness in building tension and drama.


Critique
  • The scene lacks subtlety in its portrayal of Riggan's confrontation with Tabitha. The dialogue is heavy-handed and on-the-nose, making the conflict feel forced and unnatural.
  • The interaction between Riggan and Tabitha feels contrived and lacks nuance. The characters come across as caricatures rather than fully developed individuals.
  • The scene relies heavily on exposition and dialogue to convey the conflict, which makes it feel static and unengaging.
  • The transition from Riggan watching the video to confronting Tabitha at the bar feels abrupt and disjointed, lacking a smooth flow.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual storytelling and subtlety in conveying the tension between Riggan and Tabitha.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext and layers to the dialogue between Riggan and Tabitha to make their conflict more nuanced and engaging.
  • Explore ways to show the conflict between Riggan and Tabitha through actions and visuals rather than relying solely on dialogue.
  • Work on creating a more seamless transition between Riggan watching the video and confronting Tabitha at the bar to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Consider incorporating more visual cues and subtle gestures to convey the characters' emotions and motivations effectively.
  • Focus on building a more organic and dynamic interaction between Riggan and Tabitha to make the scene feel more authentic and compelling.



Scene 31 -  Flight of Ego and Desperation
49 EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS 49

...the street, where he walks through the theater district.
Tired. Drunk. Empty. Neon lights all around him. A crazy, old
homeless man passes by in the opposite direction shouting
furiously. Riggan keeps walking until he arrives at a bench,
with a tree behind. Everything is quiet. Riggan sits on the
bench, lost. We begin to tilt up, slowly, toward a tall tree.
We move closer into the branches and the green leaves.
Silence.

A49 A49
Night turns into day. The sounds of the city disappear and
birds begin to sing. The branches now caressed by golden shafts
of morning sun. Finally, we tilt down slowly and find...


50 EXT. STREET - DAY. 50

...Riggan still sleeping on the bench. He looks like a bum. His
raincoat is dirty and wet.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 95.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
God. You look like shit, brother. You
get that mongoloid look when you're hung
over, don't you?

Riggan opens an eye. He scratches his hair.

BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Let's go. Get up. It's a beautiful day.

Riggan sits up slowly. He is really hung over.
BIRDMAN (V.O.)
Stand up! Forget about the times. Everyone
else has. So you're not a great actor...
Who cares?!! You're much more than that.
Fuck! You tower over all these theater
douchebags. You're a movie star! A Global
force! Don't you get it?

Riggan stands up and begins to stumble forward. We pan around
to find Birdman (a stronger Riggan wearing a cool Birdman
outfit), following behind him.

BIRDMAN
You spent your whole life building a
reputation and a bank account, and now
they're both blown. So what? Fuck it. We
make a come back. Something huge. Take what
belongs to us. Take back the spotlight.
Magazine covers and billboards. Happy meals
with Birdman dolls. Remember that? That’s
who you are. That’s who we are!

Riggan just marches on. People and cars pass by, but nobody
notices Birdman. Riggan tries to ignore him.

BIRDMAN (CONT'D)
C'mon, buddy. Tell me we're going back
to the big leagues. Let’s do this.
Shave off that pathetic goatee, and put
the mask back on! Batman my balls.
We’ll start a new franchise. Birdman:
Phoenix Rising. Trust me! A billion
world wide. Swear to God.

A50 A50

Riggan keeps walking. Birdman, insistent, chases, until
suddenly he begins to flutter off the ground.

BIRDMAN
Do you hear me? You can do anything! You’re
an icon!
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 96.

Desperate, Birdman flies a bit higher around him.

BIRDMAN (CONT'D)
You’re bigger than life. You save people
from their boring, miserable lives...

The camera pans to the street in front of them. People carry
out their everyday routines. There is a deli, a souvenir shop,
a small bank...

BIRDMAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)
...You make them jump, laugh, cry,
shit their pants... All you have to do
is snap your fingers and...

B50 B50
Riggan snaps his fingers, once, twice, and the bank suddenly
explodes. The sound is so loud that it seems to belong to
another movie. The earth shakes. People run. Dust all over.
Fire. An unsteady camera pans back to Birdman.

BIRDMAN
(Excited.)
That's what I'm talking about! That is
cool! Explosive! Big, fast, loud!
(He turns directly to the camera
and talks about the audience.)
Look at them. They love that shit!
They starve for blood and action,
not this artsy-fartsy-philosophical
bullshit!

C50 C50
We hear a loud roar, and the camera pans to discover a huge
alien about to crash a cab against the asphalt. Birdman uses his
powerful blow to send the alien flying away.

BIRDMAN
And when you shout "whooaa!"...
(Riggan shouts "Whooaa!")
...it explodes in the eardrum of
millions. Your power is unlimited.

Riggan slows down his pace, as he starts to listen.

BIRDMAN (CONT'D)
You glimmered on 3000 screens, over 5
continents, in 47 countries at the
same time. You are ubiquitous. You're
a God! You can do it again. You can
soar above all of them.
10/29/14 / 97.

D50 D50

Riggan suddenly begins to levitate.

BIRDMAN
There you go, you mother fucker! See?
Gravity doesn't even apply to you.

The camera flies up with Riggan as he floats above the street.
There is something magical in his ascension, gently impelled by
the breeze. A beautiful backlight makes his body glow. Birdman
flutters around him.
BIRDMAN (CONT'D)
Listen to me. We gotta go back! We have to
do this. We have to end it on our terms.
With a grand gesture.

A strange light suddenly palpitates in Riggan's eyes. Something
makes sense in what Birdman is telling him.

The camera becomes Riggan's POV. He looks down to see the
people on the street, watching him in awe.
BIRDMAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)
We’ll go back. We’ll show them how much
they're going to miss us. Flames. Icarus.
Sacrifice...

We tilt up again to Riggan's face. He has a plan.

BIRDMAN (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Let’s go back one more time and show them
what we’re capable of. You can do it.
You're Birdman. Do you hear me? You're...

A GUY'S VOICE (O.S.)
Birdman!

E50 E50

And as the camera pulls away, we discover Birdman is gone and
Riggan is standing on the ledge of a tall building. The camera
tilts down and we see that more people have gathered around,
and more cars has stopped, and they all point at Riggan,
worried about the situation.

A guy wearing shorts, a Bob Marley t-shirt and a robe opens his
window, one floor below Riggan, and looks up at him.

GUY
Dude, what are you doing?

Riggan looks down at the people on the street far below.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 98.

GUY (CONT'D)
You okay, buddy? Do you want me to
call someone?

We pan to a lady on her balcony filming Riggan with her phone.

LADY
Is this for real, or you're shooting a
film?

RIGGAN
A film.

The lady looks around but sees nothing.

LADY
Oh, you people are full of shit.

She goes into her apartment.

GUY
I’m calling 911.

The guy goes inside his apartment.

RIGGAN
One more time...

Now, from the door of the rooftop, a good neighbor calmly
approaches Riggan.

GOOD NEIGHBOR
Hi, sir. Can I help you? You should be
careful.

RIGGAN
Sorry. Can’t talk. I'm late.
(Murmuring.)
Music.

Some underscoring music begins to sound. The neighbor is now
close to him and helps Riggan step down from the edge on to the
floor of the rooftop.

GOOD NEIGHBOR
Are you alright? Do you want me to
call someone? Do you know where to go?

Riggan closes his eyes for a moment as the camera moves slowly
toward him. He opens his eyes. The music begins to swell. Riggan
stands up straight and proud, and in a voice that sounds like
Birdman...

RIGGAN
Yes. I know where to go.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 99.

He turns and begins to run on the rooftop. The music is rousing.
As he runs, he holds out his arms, spreading them wide. The
camera runs behind him, until suddenly...


F50 F50
Riggan jumps, and the camera jumps after him. He rapidly
falls toward the street, toward the asphalt. But in his face
there is no fear. No. He spreads his arms again and...


G50 G50

He takes flight, soaring high over Manhattan. The music becomes
epic. There is something beautiful about this broken man flying
like a superhero. We fly next to him, and we can see below the
spectacular sight that is Manhattan, until...
Genres: ["Drama","Fantasy"]

Summary Haunted by booze and self-pity, Riggan seeks solace on a bench. As dawn breaks, Birdman, an embodiment of his ambition, urges Riggan to reclaim his past glory. Riggan's resistance wanes, and he soars above the cityscape with Birdman. Yet, the scene concludes with Riggan contemplating a leap from a skyscraper's edge.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Fantasy elements
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Pacing could be improved in certain sections

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is powerful and emotionally charged, with a mix of desperation and hope that keeps the audience engaged. The use of fantasy elements adds depth and complexity to Riggan's character.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Riggan grappling with his inner demons and seeking redemption through a grand gesture is compelling and well-executed. The use of magical realism enhances the scene's impact.

Plot: 8

The plot revolves around Riggan's internal struggle and his decision to take a bold step towards redemption. The scene effectively moves the story forward and sets up a climactic moment.

Originality: 9

This scene is highly original in its approach to blending realism with fantasy, exploring the inner struggles of the protagonist, and challenging traditional notions of success and fame.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Riggan and Birdman, are well-developed and add depth to the scene. Their internal conflicts and motivations drive the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 8

Riggan undergoes a significant transformation in the scene, moving from a state of despair to a sense of purpose and determination. His decision to take flight symbolizes his journey towards self-acceptance and redemption.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find a sense of purpose and reclaim his former glory. He is grappling with feelings of inadequacy and failure, and Birdman serves as a manifestation of his inner desires and fears.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to make a grand gesture and show the world what he is capable of. He wants to prove his worth and regain his status as a successful actor.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Riggan battles with his inner demons and struggles to find a sense of purpose. The tension between his past and present selves creates a compelling dynamic.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, with Birdman serving as a conflicting voice that challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values. The uncertainty of the outcome adds tension and suspense to the scene.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as Riggan grapples with his past failures and seeks a way to redeem himself. His decision to take flight represents a significant risk and a chance for personal growth.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by setting up a climactic moment where Riggan makes a bold decision to reclaim his former glory. The resolution of his internal conflict sets the stage for the final act of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it blurs the lines between reality and fantasy, keeping the audience guessing about the true nature of the protagonist's experiences.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's struggle between artistic integrity and commercial success. Birdman represents the commercial, mainstream side of the industry, while Riggan represents the artistic, meaningful side.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, as Riggan confronts his past failures and envisions a path towards redemption. The mix of desperation and hope creates a poignant and memorable moment.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is introspective and reflective, capturing Riggan's inner turmoil and his journey towards self-discovery. The conversations with Birdman add a layer of complexity to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines elements of drama, fantasy, and introspection to create a compelling narrative. The protagonist's journey is both relatable and intriguing, keeping the audience invested in his story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of this scene is well-balanced, with a gradual build-up of tension and emotion leading to a climactic moment of revelation and transformation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of this scene is well-executed, with clear transitions between different settings and characters. The use of visual cues and descriptive language enhances the reader's understanding of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene is unconventional but effective in conveying the protagonist's internal and external conflicts. It follows a dream-like sequence that blurs the lines between reality and fantasy.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Riggan in a vulnerable state, drunk and lost on the streets, which sets a tone of desperation and emptiness.
  • The appearance of Birdman as a hallucination adds an interesting dynamic, but the dialogue between Riggan and Birdman could be more impactful and engaging.
  • The conversation between Riggan and Birdman about reclaiming his former glory as a movie star and superhero feels a bit cliched and lacks depth.
  • The sudden shift to a fantasy sequence where Riggan begins to levitate and fly with Birdman feels disconnected from the rest of the script and could be better integrated.
  • The visual effects of the bank exploding and the alien crashing a cab seem out of place and detract from the emotional weight of the scene.
  • The scene ends abruptly with Riggan standing on the ledge of a building, which feels rushed and unresolved.
Suggestions
  • Develop the dialogue between Riggan and Birdman to delve deeper into Riggan's inner struggles and conflicts.
  • Integrate the fantasy elements more seamlessly into the overall narrative to maintain coherence.
  • Consider toning down the exaggerated visual effects to maintain the focus on the emotional journey of the characters.
  • Provide a more satisfying resolution to the scene, perhaps by exploring Riggan's internal transformation or decision in a more nuanced way.
  • Ensure that the scene serves a clear purpose in advancing the character development and overall story arc.



Scene 32 -  Riggan Arrives at the Theater
51 EXT. THEATER - CONTINUOUS 51
...he finally lands on 45th street and calmly approaches the
theater. An Usher acknowledges him with a look of surprise.

USHER
Mr. Thomson. I think you forgot to--

RIGGAN
Stop the music.

The music stops.
USHER
I beg your pardon?

Riggan enters the theater.

The confused Usher watches him go by, as he points to the
street. We pan to see a taxi driver coming out of his car,
running like a mad man toward us.

We stay with the Usher and the taxi driver as they argue. They
take it inside the lobby, but we remain out front.

A51 A51

Day turns to night, igniting the lights of the marquee, which
reflect off of the lobby doors. We hear wild applause coming
from inside the theater. Seconds later, the doors of the
theater open and the audience files out for intermission.



(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 100.

MAN
(Tweeting on his phone.)
It's really good.

WOMAN
I know. I can’t believe it...

We begin to move up, outside the theater. We see the marquee of
the play that reads, "What We Talk When We Talk About Love".
Above the title, in smaller print, "Riggan Thomson and Mike
Shiner". Below on a banner, "Opening Night".
We keep climbing until we arrive at Riggan's dressing room
window. We push in to find...
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Riggan arrives at the theater and stops the music. The Usher is confused and argues with a taxi driver. The audience exits the theater for intermission.
Strengths
  • Captures the chaos and emotion of opening night
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Some elements of confusion may be overwhelming for the audience

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the high stakes and emotional impact of the opening night, with a mix of humor and intense moments.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of the scene, focusing on the chaos and drama of opening night in the theater, is well-executed and engaging.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene, revolving around Riggan's unexpected arrival at the theater and the reactions of the audience and characters, is compelling and moves the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the backstage world of theater, blending elements of drama and comedy to create a unique atmosphere. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, including Riggan, the Usher, and the audience members, are well-developed and contribute to the overall chaos and emotional impact.

Character Changes: 7

Riggan experiences a shift in his mindset as he confronts the chaos of opening night and the reactions of the audience and characters.

Internal Goal: 8

Riggan's internal goal in this scene is to assert control and authority, as seen when he abruptly stops the music and enters the theater with confidence. This reflects his need for validation and recognition in the competitive world of theater.

External Goal: 7

Riggan's external goal is to ensure the success of the play on opening night. This is reflected in the positive reactions from the audience and the overall atmosphere of celebration and approval.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene, including Riggan's unexpected arrival and the tension between characters, adds to the overall chaos and drama of opening night.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations driving the characters' actions. The audience is left unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the success or failure of the play hanging in the balance on opening night.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by setting up the events of opening night and highlighting the emotional journey of the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and reactions of the characters, creating tension and suspense for the audience.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict between Riggan's desire for artistic integrity and the commercial success of the play. This challenges his beliefs about the true value of his work and the sacrifices he is willing to make for success.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, capturing the anxiety, excitement, and turmoil of opening night in the theater.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the confusion, humor, and intensity of the opening night atmosphere.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, sharp dialogue, and high stakes. The audience is drawn into the world of the theater and invested in the characters' struggles and triumphs.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of action and dialogue that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting that enhances readability. The use of descriptive language adds depth to the setting and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic screenplay, with clear transitions between different settings and characters. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the overall effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The transition from Riggan flying over Manhattan to calmly approaching the theater is abrupt and lacks a smooth connection. It may be confusing for the audience to understand how he went from flying to walking on the street.
  • The interaction between Riggan and the Usher could be more dynamic and engaging. The dialogue feels a bit flat and could use more tension or emotion to make the scene more compelling.
  • The sudden request from Riggan to stop the music without any context or explanation feels random and out of place. It would be beneficial to provide a clearer reason for this action to make it more impactful.
  • The argument between the Usher and the taxi driver seems disconnected from the main storyline and doesn't add much value to the scene. It may be more effective to focus on Riggan's journey into the theater and build tension around that.
  • The transition from day turning to night and the audience filing out for intermission is a bit abrupt and could be smoother. It would be helpful to create a more seamless transition to enhance the flow of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transition from Riggan flying to him approaching the theater to make it more coherent and engaging for the audience.
  • Add depth to the interaction between Riggan and the Usher by infusing more emotion and tension into their dialogue.
  • Provide a clearer motivation for Riggan's request to stop the music to give the action more impact and significance.
  • Streamline the scene by focusing on Riggan's journey into the theater and his internal state, rather than including extraneous interactions like the argument between the Usher and the taxi driver.
  • Work on creating a smoother transition from day turning to night and the audience exiting for intermission to improve the overall flow of the scene.



Scene 33 -  Riggan's Confession
52 INT. RIGGAN'S DRESSING ROOM - THEATER - EVENING 52
... that the room is full of roses and cards. Riggan lies on
the sofa, hugging a cushion. He is wearing the long wig and
mustache for the motel scene.

Sylvia appears in the doorway.

SYLVIA
Wow, that is just NASCAR hot.

He smiles at her.
SYLVIA (CONT'D)
I just wanted to come say hello. It's going
great out there. You're so good. I mean it.
You’re-- I really mean it.

RIGGAN
Come here. Sit next to me.

ANNIE ON SPEAKERS
This is your five minutes.
SYLVIA
Do you need to--?

RIGGAN
I'm fine. Sit.

She does.

SYLVIA
Look at all these roses.

SYLVIA (CONT’D) RIGGAN
You hate roses... I hate roses...

She laughs. He watches her, something odd in his expression.
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 101.

SYLVIA (CONT’D)
Are you okay? You seem-- I don’t know, you
seem abnormally calm.

RIGGAN
I am calm. I’m great. I spent most of
the day observing how beautifully this
pile of dirty clothes was lit by the
warm afternoon sun. (A tiny smile.) So
beautiful.
Sylvia, teasing him, closes her eyes and imitates Riggan's
meditation posture.

SYLVIA
(Mocking him.)
Oh yes. God is those purplish light
dots I see between my eyes and my
eyelids.

RIGGAN
You know? I have this voice that talks to
me and tells me the truth. It’s comforting,
and scary.

A beat.

SYLVIA
I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you say
that.

RIGGAN
Okay.

SYLVIA
(Changing the subject.)
You wouldn't believe the crowd outside.
They said, some people paid up to 500
dollars a ticket.

He sits down.
RIGGAN
You wanna hear something funny?

SYLVIA
Sure.

RIGGAN
Do you remember our last anniversary party?

SYLVIA
Seriously? You're going to ruin a nice
moment with that?

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 102.

RIGGAN
Do you remember the party?

SYLVIA
The party where you fucked Janet Rossbach
in our bed? Yeah, it rings a bell.

RIGGAN
Yeah, well. Let's skip over that part
for a minute.
SYLVIA
Gladly.

RIGGAN
After you threw the guests out of the
house, and the furniture out of the
window. You locked yourself in the
bathroom.

SYLVIA
I remember. Why are we--

RIGGAN
I drove down to Malibu. I sat on the beach
for a while. Just... staring out at the
ocean.

SYLVIA
Riggan...

RIGGAN
Until I walked straight into the water
and tried to drown myself.

Silence. Sylvia stares at Riggan, surprised.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
I was in up to my chest when I felt the
first one. On my back, like somebody was
holding a frying pan against me. And then
my chest, and my legs. The water was full
of jellyfish. I fought my way out of the
water, and I started rolling around the
sand like a maniac... crying.

Sylvia doesn't know how to react.

SYLVIA
You said it was a sunburn.

RIGGAN
(Smiling.)
And you believed me.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 103.

SYLVIA
To be honest, I didn't give a shit.

RIGGAN
I love you. And I love Sam.

SYLVIA
I know.

Silence. They stare at each other.
RIGGAN
I never should have video taped Sam's
birth. First of all because you and Sam
both look like shit in that video. But
mostly because I missed the moment. I
should have just been there with the two
of you. Present in my own life. So I’d
have it. But, I don’t. I don’t have any of
it.
SYLVIA
You have Sam.

RIGGAN
No, I don't.

SYLVIA
Listen, she's just--

RIGGAN
No, I understand. She needed a father
and she got one shamefully successful
youtube video. Pretty pathetic.

SYLVIA
(Putting a finger on
Riggan’s lips.)
Shhh... There are more pathetic things
than that. That mustache, for example.
She kisses him.

ANNIE ON SPEAKERS
Places for act two. Places.

SYLVIA
Riggan...

RIGGAN
You should get back to your seat. You
don't want to miss what's next.

Sylvia lingers for a moment, and not knowing what to say, she
exits. Riggan opens a drawer and takes out a black case. He
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 104.

gently opens the lid. Inside a revolver. He takes some bullets
out of a box and one by one loads them into the chamber as he
does his vocal exercises into the mirror.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)
Twenty little leopards laughed at two
lofty lions. Twenty little leopards
laughed at two lofty lions. Twenty
little leopards... laughed.

He stares at the dressing room door, and with his telekinetic
powers he opens it. He snaps the cylinder into the gun and
exits out into...
Genres: ["Drama","Psychological Thriller"]

Summary In Riggan's dressing room, amidst roses and cards, Sylvia and Riggan engage in a profound conversation. Riggan unburdens his inner struggles, revealing his regrets and past suicide attempt. Sylvia offers empathy and solace. As the scene draws to a close, Riggan loads a revolver, casting a foreboding shadow over their exchange.
Strengths
  • Deep character exploration
  • Emotional depth
  • Foreshadowing
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external action
  • Slow pacing

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, setting up a tense and emotional atmosphere while hinting at a major conflict to come. Riggan's introspection and vulnerability make for compelling viewing.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring Riggan's inner struggles and past regrets is executed effectively, adding depth to his character and setting the stage for future developments.

Plot: 8

The plot thickens as Riggan's emotional state is revealed, and the introduction of the revolver adds a layer of suspense and foreshadows potential danger.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and authentic portrayal of complex relationships and emotional struggles, with unexpected twists and revelations that keep the audience engaged.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Riggan's character is fleshed out with layers of complexity and vulnerability, making him a compelling protagonist. Sylvia's reaction adds depth to their relationship.

Character Changes: 8

Riggan undergoes a significant emotional journey in this scene, revealing his inner turmoil and past regrets, showcasing a change in his emotional state.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his past mistakes and regrets, particularly regarding his family. He is seeking forgiveness and understanding from Sylvia.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to prepare for the next act of the performance and maintain his composure despite his emotional turmoil.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While the scene is more introspective and emotional, the introduction of the revolver hints at a potential conflict to come, increasing tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with emotional conflicts and revelations that challenge the characters' beliefs and relationships.

High Stakes: 8

The introduction of the revolver raises the stakes and hints at potential danger, adding tension and suspense to the scene.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene is more focused on character development and introspection, it sets the stage for future conflicts and developments, moving the story forward.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations and conflicts that arise between the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's struggle with his own sense of worth and purpose, as well as his relationships with his family.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions through Riggan's vulnerability and regret, creating a poignant and impactful moment.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is introspective and revealing, adding depth to Riggan's character and setting the tone for the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional intensity and depth of the characters' interactions, as well as the unexpected revelations that drive the narrative forward.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, leading to a climactic moment that drives the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, effectively conveying the setting and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and emotional depth, leading to a climactic moment.


Critique
  • The scene in Riggan's dressing room between him and Sylvia is emotionally charged and reveals a lot about their past and current relationship dynamics. However, the dialogue could be more nuanced and subtle in conveying their complex feelings towards each other.
  • The revelation of Riggan's suicide attempt in the ocean with jellyfish adds depth to his character, but the transition from light-hearted banter to this serious confession feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The scene touches on themes of regret, missed opportunities, and the desire for connection, but these themes could be explored further to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The use of the revolver and loading bullets into the chamber adds a sense of foreboding and tension, but it could be integrated more seamlessly into the conversation between Riggan and Sylvia to create a stronger sense of suspense and foreshadowing.
  • The scene effectively sets up a sense of impending drama and conflict, but the pacing could be improved to build tension gradually and keep the audience engaged throughout.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the dialogue between Riggan and Sylvia to make their emotional journey more nuanced and realistic.
  • Explore ways to smoothly transition between light-hearted moments and serious revelations to maintain the emotional authenticity of the scene.
  • Delve deeper into the themes of regret, missed opportunities, and the search for connection to add layers to the characters and their relationship.
  • Integrate the use of the revolver and loading bullets into the chamber more organically into the scene to enhance the sense of suspense and foreshadowing.
  • Work on pacing to build tension gradually and keep the audience engaged leading up to the climactic moment with the revolver.



Scene 34 -  Riggan's Desperate Act
53 INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 53

...the hallway. He paces deliberately, gun in hand.

A technician goes by in the opposite direction.

TECHNICIAN
Break a leg, Mr. Thomson.

Riggan ignores him and continues through to the...

54 INT. BACKSTAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 54

...backstage area. Annie immediately hustles over to him holding
up the brain mechanism. He walks right by her.

RIGGAN
(Brushing her off.)
I don't need it.

Annie doesn't seem to understand. She stays there, holding the
device. Riggan takes his place outside the motel door. We pan
toward the audience. The auditorium is full. The audience in
complete silence.


Riggan knocks firmly on the door. Silence again. Then...

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Terri! Terri!
(Beat.)
I know you're in there!
He barges through the door and onto...
10/29/14 / 105.

55 INT. STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS 55

...the stage. The motel room as we saw it before. Mike and
Lesley jump out of the bed.

LESLEY
Ed! What are you doing here?

RIGGAN
(Almost whispering.)
Why? I need you to tell me why. I lived for
you-- I worshipped you...
MIKE
Listen Ed, I know this is hard but--

Riggan raises one hand to silence Mike. Mike looks at him,
confused. His eyes narrow on the gun. There is no red plug.

Dead silence. An eerie electricity in the theater.

RIGGAN
What's wrong with me? Why do I end
up having to beg people to love me?

LESLEY
Ed. Eddie. Please... Give me the gun.

She begins to cry.

LESLEY (CONT'D)
Just look at me. I was drowning. I
was not capable of-- You deserve to
be loved. You do.

RIGGAN
I just wanted to be what you wanted.
(Beat.)
Now I spend every fucking minute
praying to be someone else. Someone
I'm not. Anyone...

MIKE
Put down the gun, Ed. She just doesn't love
you anymore.

RIGGAN
(To Lesley.)
You don't, do you?

LESLEY
(With sympathy.)
No...


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 106.

RIGGAN
And you never will...

LESLEY
I'm sorry.

For the first time, Riggan turns to face the audience. He
smiles the most beautiful insane smile.

RIGGAN
I don't exist. I'm not even here. I don't
exist. None of this matters.

Then he raises a trembling arm, and with his eyes full of
tears, he aims the gun at Mike.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Pum.

But he doesn’t shoot. Then he turns and aims at Tabitha
Dickinson who is sitting on the second row.
RIGGAN (CONT’D)
Pum.

Again, no shot. Slowly, Riggan raises the gun toward his own
head, suddenly a frightening explosion. Blood sprays. Riggan
falls. We stay with the shell-shocked audience. A moment of
tension, of uncertainty, until...

MAN
Bravo!

The audience, one by one, jump to their feet, applauding
wildly. The sole exception is Tabitha, who remains seated, a
dazed expression on her face. We stay with the audience a few
seconds longer.

FADE TO BLACK.

The sounds slowly vanish. After a moment of silence...
BIRDMAN (V.O.)
You won't be hearing from him
anymore.

MAN (V.O.)
Is he...?

BIRDMAN (V.O)
He's gone.
10/29/14 / 107.

INT. WAITING ROOM - HOSPITAL - DAWN

One of the old Birdman films is playing on a small television
screen that hangs on a corner. The scene ends and a Morning
Show host appears. Behind him a picture of Riggan and a
caption that reads: “Nation in shock.” A shot of a candle
vigil in Central park.

HOST
What do we talk about when we talk
about Riggan Thomson? When we come
back, more on the actor who two
nights ago shot himself during the
opening performance of his new
Broadway play...

We pan away from the TV to see that the waiting room is
filled with newsmen waiting for something to happen. There is
almost no room to breath.

We pan to see Jake emerging from an elevator, carrying a
newspaper under his arm. He walks through the dense mass of
newsmen with a serious expression on his face. We follow him
into...
Genres: ["Drama","Psychological Thriller"]

Summary Riggan's emotional instability leads him to confront his insecurities and seek validation. Despite attempts to calm him, his despair escalates. He raises a gun to his head, but turns to acknowledge his inauthenticity. A gunshot ends his life, shocking the audience who mistake it for a performance. The tragedy unfolds amidst conflicts, intense emotions, and the haunting realization of Riggan's inner turmoil.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional conflict
  • Powerful character dynamics
  • Unexpected twist with the gun
  • Deep exploration of themes of self-worth and love
Weaknesses
  • Potential for the scene to be overly dramatic or melodramatic if not handled carefully

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, emotionally charged, and serves as a powerful climax to the story. The intense conflict, raw emotions, and unexpected twist make it a standout moment.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a character struggling with self-doubt, seeking love and validation, and ultimately facing a moment of reckoning is executed with depth and complexity. The use of a gun as a symbol of power and vulnerability adds layers to the narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot reaches a critical turning point with Riggan's emotional breakdown and the shocking climax involving the gun. The scene propels the story towards its resolution and reveals key character dynamics.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh take on themes of self-worth, love, and identity, with authentic character actions and dialogue that feel genuine and impactful.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Riggan, Lesley, and Mike, are deeply explored in this scene, showcasing their vulnerabilities, conflicts, and emotional depth. Their interactions drive the narrative forward and reveal their inner struggles.

Character Changes: 8

Riggan undergoes a significant emotional transformation in this scene, confronting his insecurities and ultimately facing a moment of truth. The interactions with Lesley and Mike also reveal new facets of their characters.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist, Riggan, is grappling with his need for love and validation. His internal goal is to understand why he feels unloved and unworthy, reflecting his deeper insecurities and fears.

External Goal: 8

Riggan's external goal is to confront his former lover, Terri, and seek answers for his feelings of inadequacy and rejection.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is palpable, both internally within Riggan and externally in his interactions with Lesley and Mike. The tension builds as Riggan grapples with his emotions and the presence of the gun.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting emotions and desires driving the characters' actions and dialogue, creating a sense of uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Riggan grapples with his sense of self-worth, the need for love and validation, and the presence of the gun. The outcome of the scene has significant consequences for the characters and the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story towards its resolution by resolving key character conflicts, revealing hidden truths, and setting the stage for the final act. It marks a crucial turning point in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in its emotional twists and turns, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of self-worth, identity, and the search for validation. Riggan's struggle with his own perception of himself and his need for external approval challenges his beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, ranging from sadness to shock to empathy. Riggan's emotional breakdown and the climactic moment with the gun leave a lasting impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense, emotional, and reflective of the characters' inner turmoil. It effectively conveys the complex emotions and conflicts present in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense emotional conflict, high stakes, and dramatic tension that keeps the audience invested in the characters' struggles.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, leading to a climactic moment that resonates with the audience.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for its genre, effectively conveying the dramatic and emotional beats of the narrative.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a well-paced and structured format, effectively building tension and emotional depth leading to a climactic moment.


Critique
  • The scene is intense and dramatic, with a clear build-up of tension leading to a climactic moment.
  • The dialogue is powerful and emotional, effectively conveying the inner turmoil and conflicts of the characters.
  • The visual elements, such as Riggan raising the gun and the reactions of the characters, enhance the suspense and impact of the scene.
  • The scene effectively captures the desperation and vulnerability of Riggan, as well as the emotional turmoil of Lesley and Mike.
  • The ending with Riggan aiming the gun at himself and the audience creates a shocking and impactful moment.
  • The use of silence and pauses in the dialogue adds to the tension and intensity of the scene.
  • The scene effectively explores themes of self-worth, love, and identity through the interactions of the characters.
  • The audience's reaction to the gunshot and the contrast with Tabitha's unmoved response adds depth to the scene.
  • The transition to the hospital waiting room and the news coverage of Riggan's actions provide a sense of closure and aftermath to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or introspective moments for Riggan to further explore his inner struggles and motivations.
  • Explore the dynamics between Riggan, Lesley, and Mike in more depth to enhance the emotional impact of their interactions.
  • Consider incorporating more visual cues or symbolism to enhance the themes of the scene and add layers of meaning.
  • Experiment with different pacing and blocking to create a more dynamic and visually engaging scene.
  • Explore the aftermath of the gunshot and its impact on the characters and the story in more detail.
  • Consider adding moments of reflection or resolution for the characters to provide closure to their arcs.
  • Experiment with different ways to convey Riggan's internal conflict and emotional journey through subtle gestures or expressions.
  • Consider incorporating more subtext or underlying themes to add depth and complexity to the scene.



Scene 35 -  A Room Filled with Emotions
INT. ROOM - HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS

...a room. Jake peers in. Riggan lies on a bed, the bandages
on his nose cover most of his face. Sylvia is looking out the
window.

JAKE
Is he...?

SYLVIA
He’s awake.

Jake enters the room.

JAKE
(Serious.)
I thought I lost you, buddy. Thank
god you’re a horrible shot! What
the hell happened? I was watching
you up on that stage, and all of a
sudden you get that goofy look in
your eye, and you were just like--

He starts to laugh.

SYLVIA
What the hell are you laughing
about? He tried to-- What is wrong
with you?
(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 108.

JAKE
I’m happy, okay? He’s alive. My
best friend is alive. And he is the
man of the hour!

Jake holds the New York Times up in the air.

RIGGAN
What is that?

JAKE
You did it.

SYLVIA
(Coming to them.)
You have to be shitting me... She
wrote a review?

Jake unfolds the newspaper and we see the headline of the
review: “The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance”.
JAKE
(To Sylvia.)
Read it.

He hands her the newspaper. She begins to read to herself.

SYLVIA
I don’t believe this...

JAKE
Read it out loud!

SAM
"Thompson has unwittingly given
birth to a new form that can only
be described as supra-realism.
Blood was spilled both literally
and metaphorically by artist and
audience alike. Red blood. The
blood that has been sorely missing
from the veins of the American
theatre..."
(Beat. To a smiling Jake.)
You’re happy about this?

She hands it to Riggan.

JAKE
Happy? I’m fucking euphoric. This
is the-- This is the kind of review
that turns someone into a living
legend.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 109.

SYLVIA
He tried to-- He shot the nose off
his face!

JAKE
He’s got a new nose! And if he
doesn’t like that one, we’ll get
him another one. We can use Meg
Ryan’s guy. Who gives a shit? Turn
on the tv. There are people praying
for him all over the country.
They’re lighting candles in Central
Park. He did it. (To Riggan) You
did it! The play’s gonna run
forever. It’s gonna open in London,
in Paris... The studios will call
us again. We’ll get book offers.

SYLVIA
How do you know all that? You can
see the future?
JAKE
(Euphoric.)
Yes.

She slaps him in the face.

SYLVIA
Did you see that coming? You’re so
full of shit, Jake.

Jake needs a few seconds to recover. Then he looks at Riggan
who just sits there, in silence.

JAKE
Why aren’t you saying anything?
This is what you wanted wasn’t it?
(Riggan gazes at the
review.)
Riggan, this is what you wanted.
RIGGAN
It’s what I wanted.

JAKE
Okay, listen. You’re gonna get hit
with a “brandishing a weapon”
charge. If anybody talks to you, it
was an accident and we’re doing an
internal invest--

A newsman comes into the room and takes a quick picture.


(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 110.

JAKE (CONT’D)
(Chasing him out.)
This is a hospital you motherfucker!

Jake rushes to the door, shoving the newsman and a few other
paparazzi out the door. Security guards. Chaos. Finally
silence. Sylvia steps up and looks Riggan in the eye.

SYLVIA
Is that what it was? An accident?
Riggan just stares at her. His calm, sad eyes peeking through
the bandages. After a moment his gaze moves over her
shoulder. Sylvia turns and we discover Sam standing in the
doorway holding a bouquet of flowers. A bit of awkward
silence, and Sylvia decides to leave them alone.

She kisses Sam on the head and exits. Sam walks the flowers
to Riggan at the bed. She lays them on his chest.

SAM
Alchemillas.

The hint of a smile on Riggan’s face.

SAM (CONT’D)
Are you actually smiling?
(She smiles.)
What’s so funny?

RIGGAN
I can’t smell them.

A moment until the smiles turn to gentle laughter. She takes
out her cell phone and snaps a picture of him.

RIGGAN (CONT’D)
What are you doing?

SAM
I’m posting this picture on your
Twitter page.

RIGGAN
Very funny...

SAM
Set it up today.

RIGGAN
You’re joking.

SAM
I’m not.

(CONTINUED)
10/29/14 / 111.

RIGGAN
Let me see the picture.

SAM
Absolutely not. You look hideous.

RIGGAN
Thanks a lot.

SAM
I’m just kidding. No, I’m not. You
look hideous.
(Working on phone.)
You already have 80 thousand
followers. In less than a day. And
I’m about to scare the shit out of
them.

RIGGAN
Let me see.
SAM
No. Done.

A moment between them. Sam picks up the flowers and kisses
him tenderly on the head. Riggan is pleasantly surprised by
that kiss.

SAM (CONT’D)
Now, I’m going to find something to
put these flowers in.

She heads out of the room. Riggan lies there for a moment,
tranquil. After a moment he reaches up and touches his
bandages. Finally, he climbs out of the bed. We follow him
into...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Jake enters Riggan's hospital room with a glowing review from the New York Times, while Sylvia worries about Riggan's well-being. Jake's insensitivity leads to a slap from Sylvia. Amidst the chaos, Sam brings flowers and captures a moment for social media. Riggan's silence and contemplation give way to a hint of a smile as he climbs out of bed, symbolizing a shift in his emotional state.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character interactions
  • Exploration of themes
Weaknesses
  • Lack of intense conflict
  • Some awkward moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively captures a range of emotions and sets the stage for potential character development. It maintains a good balance between serious moments and lighter, more humorous interactions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the aftermath of a significant event in the protagonist's life is well-executed. The scene effectively delves into themes of self-reflection, fame, and relationships.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses by showing the consequences of the protagonist's actions and the impact on his relationships. It sets the stage for potential resolution and character growth.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on themes of fame, success, and personal growth. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, contributing to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters show a range of emotions and reactions, adding depth to the scene. Their interactions and dynamics contribute to the overall impact of the aftermath.

Character Changes: 7

There are hints of potential character growth and introspection, especially in the protagonist's demeanor and interactions. The aftermath of the event may lead to significant changes in the characters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to come to terms with his newfound success and the consequences of his actions. This reflects his need for validation and recognition, as well as his fear of failure and irrelevance.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the aftermath of a shooting incident and manage the media attention. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with legal and personal repercussions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is internal conflict and tension in the scene, it is not as pronounced as in other scenes. The focus is more on emotional aftermath and introspection.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with conflicts arising from personal relationships and external pressures. The audience is left uncertain about the protagonist's future.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are not as high in this scene compared to others, the emotional impact and potential character growth add depth to the narrative. The aftermath of the event sets the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by exploring the consequences of the protagonist's actions and setting the stage for potential resolutions. It hints at future developments and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is somewhat predictable in terms of character reactions and plot developments. However, the emotional nuances and philosophical conflicts add depth to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the pursuit of artistic success versus personal integrity. The protagonist must reconcile his desire for fame with the ethical implications of his actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, ranging from euphoria to sadness. The characters' vulnerabilities and struggles resonate with the viewers.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and thoughts. It adds depth to their interactions and helps drive the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of tension, humor, and emotional depth. The characters' conflicts and relationships keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective, balancing moments of tension and reflection. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions maintains the scene's momentum and emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to standard formatting conventions for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm enhance the overall effectiveness of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure, with clear character motivations and narrative progression. The dialogue and actions flow naturally, maintaining the audience's engagement.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus and purpose, with multiple elements and characters introduced without a strong connection to the overall story.
  • The dialogue feels forced and lacks depth, with characters delivering expository lines rather than engaging in meaningful interactions.
  • The emotional impact of Riggan's situation and the aftermath of his actions on stage are not fully explored, resulting in a superficial portrayal of his internal struggles.
  • The transition between the chaotic aftermath of the performance and the hospital room setting is abrupt and disorienting, making it challenging for the audience to follow the narrative flow.
  • The scene fails to build tension or suspense, missing an opportunity to delve deeper into Riggan's emotional journey and the consequences of his actions.
Suggestions
  • Focus on Riggan's internal conflict and emotional turmoil, exploring his motivations and the impact of his decisions on himself and those around him.
  • Streamline the dialogue to make it more authentic and engaging, allowing the characters to express their emotions and thoughts in a more natural way.
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a more cohesive narrative arc, with a clear progression of events that lead to a satisfying resolution.
  • Enhance the visual elements to convey Riggan's state of mind and the aftermath of the performance, using cinematography and setting to enhance the storytelling.
  • Introduce moments of introspection and vulnerability for Riggan, allowing the audience to connect with his character on a deeper level and empathize with his struggles.



Scene 36 -  Contemplation and Hope
INT. BATHROOM - ROOM - HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS

...the bathroom. He stands before the mirror. He stares at
his reflection for a few seconds, and slowly begins to remove
the bandages. We can see that Riggan’s nose has been
reconstructed. It is a crooked, incomplete nose, like the one
Javier Bardem has.

RIGGAN
I do look hideous.

In the reflection, Riggan sees Birdman sitting on the toilet.
They look at each other, but say nothing. Riggan puts the
bandages back on and we follow him out to...
10/29/14 / 112.

INT. ROOM - HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS

...the room. He looks around, but Sam is gone. He ambles over
to the window, his ass hanging out of the back of his
hospital robe. He opens the window and feels the sun and the
breeze on his swollen face. We just hear the sounds of the
people standing down in the parking lot. Media trucks. Fans.
We stay with Riggan, who seems to be thinking about
something. He sees a flock of birds dancing in the sky. Then
he grabs the side of the window with one hand and begins to
step up onto the sill.
The camera pans away from him to a table that has some photos
propped on it: One of he and Sam when she was a child. One
with Sylvia and Sam. A copy of Carver’s “What we talk About
When We Talk About Love” laying on the surface.

The camera continues to pan until it comes to the door. Sam
enters with a small vase. She looks around...

SAM
Dad?

She goes to the bathroom and peers in... nothing.

SAM (CONT’D)
Dad...?

She spots the opened window and registers the sounds from
outside. Tentatively she walks toward the window. She gets
there, summons her courage and looks down. Nothing. Slowly,
confused, she tilts her head up and looks up into the sky. A
smile, filled with pride, begin to wash over her face.

SMASH TO BLACK *
FOXSEARCHLIGHT.COM/AWARDS
Released by Twentieth Century Fox © 2014 Twentieth Century Fox
Genres: ["Drama","Psychological Thriller"]

Summary Riggan examines his reconstructed nose, sees Birdman on the toilet, and climbs onto the window sill. Sam enters the room and looks out the window, searching for her father. She sees nothing at first, but then looks up and sees Riggan flying in the sky.
Strengths
  • Deep exploration of character emotions
  • Poignant dialogue
  • Intriguing thematic elements
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external action or physical conflict
  • Limited interaction with other characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is powerful and emotionally charged, providing a significant turning point for Riggan's character. It effectively conveys the inner turmoil and complexity of the protagonist.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of self-reflection and potential transformation is compelling and well-executed. It adds depth to the character and sets the stage for further development.

Plot: 8

The plot focuses on Riggan's internal struggles and his journey towards self-acceptance and growth. It moves the story forward by exploring key themes and character dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the theme of self-acceptance and personal relationships, with unique character dynamics and symbolic imagery. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Riggan, are well-developed and showcase a range of emotions and vulnerabilities. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and depth.

Character Changes: 8

Riggan undergoes a significant internal transformation and realization in the scene, setting the stage for potential growth and change in his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his changed appearance and the consequences of his actions. It reflects his deeper need for acceptance and self-acceptance, as well as his fear of being judged and rejected.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to connect with his daughter and mend their relationship. It reflects the immediate challenge of communication and understanding between them.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is internal conflict and emotional tension in the scene, the physical conflict is minimal. The focus is more on introspection and character development.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, but not overwhelming to the point of overshadowing the character development and emotional depth. The audience is left wondering about the outcome of the protagonist's actions.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high on an emotional and psychological level for Riggan, as he grapples with his self-worth and identity. The potential for transformation adds to the stakes.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by delving into Riggan's internal struggles and hinting at a potential shift in his character trajectory. It sets up future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions between the characters and the symbolic imagery used to convey their emotions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of the protagonist's next actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between self-identity and external validation. Riggan's internal dialogue with Birdman represents his conflicting desires for fame and authenticity, while Sam's reaction to his disappearance highlights the importance of personal connections over public image.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions and empathy for the characters, particularly Riggan. It resonates with the audience on a deep emotional level.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is introspective and poignant, reflecting the inner thoughts and conflicts of the characters. It adds depth to the scene and enhances character development.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, character development, and subtle tension. The audience is drawn into the protagonist's internal struggles and personal relationships.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and introspection, and highlighting the emotional impact of the characters' interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions. The visual elements are effectively conveyed through the writing.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear progression of events and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the emotional impact of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear resolution or climax, leaving the audience hanging with an unresolved ending.
  • The transition from Riggan seeing Birdman in the mirror to him looking out the window and climbing onto the sill feels disjointed and abrupt.
  • The interaction between Riggan and Birdman in the bathroom lacks depth and significance, failing to provide closure to their relationship.
  • The visual of Riggan climbing onto the window sill without a clear motivation or emotional build-up feels forced and out of character.
  • The scene could benefit from more emotional depth and character development to create a more impactful and satisfying conclusion.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a more meaningful interaction between Riggan and Birdman in the bathroom to provide closure to their relationship.
  • Provide a clearer motivation or emotional build-up for Riggan's decision to climb onto the window sill.
  • Enhance the resolution of the scene by incorporating a moment of emotional catharsis or realization for Riggan.
  • Explore the theme of redemption or self-acceptance in Riggan's character arc to give the scene more depth and resonance.
  • Consider revising the ending to provide a more satisfying and conclusive resolution for both Riggan and the audience.