Deadpool
Screenplay Story Analysis
How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library
| Percentile | Before | After | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Characters | 8.9 | 98 | Silence of the lambs: 8.8 | Black mirror 304: 8.9 |
| Concept | 8.3 | 89 | Pinocchio: 8.2 | Deadpool: 8.3 |
| Dialogue | 8.3 | 88 | Mr Robot: 8.2 | Her: 8.3 |
| Overall | 8.5 | 80 | Thor: 8.4 | Inception: 8.5 |
| Conflict Level | 8.2 | 75 | Stranger things: 8.1 | fight Club: 8.2 |
| High Stakes | 8.0 | 75 | Everything Everywhere All at Once: 7.9 | Deadpool: 8.0 |
| Character Changes | 6.1 | 52 | Lucifer: 6.0 | Deadpool: 6.1 |
| Story Forward | 8.0 | 51 | Mo: 7.9 | Labyrinth : 8.0 |
| Emotional Impact | 7.4 | 50 | Breaking bad, episode 306: 7.3 | Donnie Darko: 7.4 |
| Plot | 8.0 | 48 | Mo: 7.9 | severance (TV): 8.0 |
| Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | ||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Scene Number | Full Analysis | Tone | Overall Grade | Concept | Plot | Characters | Character Changes | Conflict | High stakes | Story forward | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | |
| 1 | Deadpool in a Taxi Cab | "Humorous" | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 4 | 6 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 9 | |
| 2 | Deadpool Gives Dating Advice | "Humorous" | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 3 | 6 | 4 | 5 | 5 | 9 | |
| 3 | Taxi Driver Love Advice and Highway Mayhem | "humorous, irreverent" | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 5 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 5 | 9 | |
| 4 | Deadpool vs Thugs on the Freeway | "Light and humorous with high stakes action" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 3 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 6 | 9 | |
| 5 | The Pizza Delivery | "Humorous" | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 5 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 5 | 10 | |
| 6 | Pizza Delivery and Skate Park | "Humorous" | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 5 | 7 | 5 | 8 | 6 | 8 | |
| 7 | Mercenary Meets Sleazy Bar Owner | "Humorous, edgy" | 7 | 7 | 5 | 9 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 8 | |
| 8 | Deadpool visits Sister Margaret's | "Humorous, gritty" | 10 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 11 | |
| 9 | Arcade Date Night | "Lighthearted" | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 6 | 6 | 9 | |
| 10 | Sex Montage on Holidays | "Playful" | 7 | 7 | 2 | 8 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 5 | 0 | |
| 11 | Wade and Vanessa's Christmas Engagement | "Irreverent, playful" | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 6 | 7 | 10 | |
| 12 | Devastating News | "Dark, yet humorous" | 9 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 7 | 10 | 9 | |
| 13 | Spring Cleaning | "Irreverent" | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 10 | |
| 14 | Wade's Reflection | "Somber" | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | |
| 15 | The Recruitment | "Serious" | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | |
| 16 | Desperation World Tour | "Hopeful yet Despairing" | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 10 | 8 | |
| 17 | Murderous Past | "Dark" | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 7 | |
| 18 | The Transformation | "Dark" | 10 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 10 | 10 | 7 | |
| 19 | Mutant Treatment Montage | "Intense" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 7 | |
| 20 | Mutant Gene Activation | "Dark" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | |
| 21 | Mutant Gene Activation Torture | "dark, intense" | 9 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 10 | 11 | 10 | 9 | 7 | |
| 22 | Mutant Gene Activation and Torture | "Dark" | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 10 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 6 | |
| 23 | Mutant Gene Activation | "Dark" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 7 | 10 | 11 | 9 | 8 | 5 | |
| 24 | Torture and Tension | "Dark" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 7 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 8 | |
| 25 | Mutant Gene Activation and a Fiery Escape | "Intense" | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 7 | |
| 26 | Escape from Torture | "Intense" | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 11 | 11 | 10 | 10 | 7 | |
| 27 | Deadpool Tortured and Escapes | "Intense, sarcastic" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 8 | |
| 28 | Escape and Confrontation | "Dark" | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | |
| 29 | Deadpool's Transformation and Montage | "Humorous, Fast Paced" | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 3 | 3 | 7 | 5 | 9 | |
| 30 | Deadpool's Cab Ride and the Capture of a Super-Slave | "humorous" | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 5 | 7 | 10 | 8 | 6 | 7 | |
| 31 | Deadpool talks to Blind Al | "Humorous\/Intense" | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 4 | 7 | 3 | 8 | 6 | 10 | |
| 32 | Deadpool searches for Vanessa | "Humorous, suspenseful" | 8.5 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | |
| 33 | Kidnapping Vanessa | "Humorous, suspenseful" | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | |
| 34 | The Rescue Mission Begins | "Humorous, yet tense" | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 6 | 9 | |
| 35 | Fight at the Scrapyard | "Intense" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 36 | Rescue in the Scrapyard | "Tense" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 7 | 7 | |
| 37 | Deadpool's Last Stand | "humorous and intense" | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 4 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 5 | 8 | |
| 38 | Rescuing Vanessa and Confronting Ajax | "Dark" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 7 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 39 | Deadpool and Ajax's Final Battle | "Intense, comedic" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 7 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | |
| 40 | untitled | null | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |
| 41 | Rescue and Tease | "Humorous, light-hearted" | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 6 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | |
Scene 1 - Deadpool in a Taxi Cab
Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick
Final Shooting Script - November 16, 2015
TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX
10201 W. Pico Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90035
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. COPYRIGHT ©2015 TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX FILM
CORPORATION. NO PORTION OF THIS SCRIPT MAY BE PERFORMED,
PUBLISHED, REPRODUCED, SOLD OR DISTRIBUTED BY ANY MEANS, OR QUOTED
OR PUBLISHED IN ANY MEDIUM, INCLUDING ANY WEB SITE, WITHOUT THE
PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT OF TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX FILM CORPORATION.
DISPOSAL OF THIS SCRIPT COPY DOES NOT ALTER ANY OF THE
RESTRICTIONS SET FORTH ABOVE.
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 1.
OVER BLACK. Low volume, through a tinny speaker, JUICE
NEWTON’S ‘ANGEL OF THE MORNING.’
FADE UP ON:
1 EXT./INT. TAXI CAB - MORNING 1
DEADPOOL, in full DRESS REDS and MASK, quietly FIDGETS in the
BACK SEAT of a TAXI CAB as it proceeds along a CITY FREEWAY.
Deadpool adjusts the two KATANAS strapped to his back. Rolls
the WINDOWS up, down, up. Tries futilely to untwist the
seatbelt, then LUNGES forward, locking it up. Rifles through
a tourist booklet and tears out a HAUNTED SEGWAY TOUR coupon.
The CABBIE, young, thin, brown, glances back and forth from
the rear view to the road to the rear view.
DEADPOOL
Kinda lonesome back here.
CUT TO: DEADPOOL, WEDGING himself through the opening
between the back seat and front. His two katanas don’t
cooperate, catching on the Plexiglas, stalling him mid-torso.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Little help?
The cabbie grabs Deadpool’s hand and pulls him through to the
front. Deadpool’s head rests upside down on the bench seat
as he maneuvers his legs through. The cabbie turns the
helping hand into a HANDSHAKE, then turns down the Juice.
CABBIE
Dopinder.
DEADPOOL
(still upside-down)
Pool. Deadpool.
Dopinder is remarkably UNAFFECTED by the lunatic in his cab.
DOPINDER
Why the fancy red suit, Mr. Pool?
DEADPOOL
It’s like Christmas Day, Dopinder. Been
waiting one thousand eight hundred twenty-
two days, three hours...
(checks ‘Adventure Time’
watch)
...and thirty-six minutes for this shit.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 2.
1 CONTINUED: 1
DEADPOOL turns himself RIGHT-SIDE-UP in the front seat. He
is YOKED to the gills and ARMED to the teeth. TWIN KATANAS.
TWIN DESERT EAGLE .50 CALIBER PISTOLS.
Deadpool grabs Dopinder’s OPEN BAG of CORN NUTS. Dopinder
isn’t quick enough to stop him. Deadpool gazes out the
window onto the city - a teeming, sooty urban sprawl that
looks almost... pre-post-apocalyptic.
Deadpool turns up his MASK. Dopinder catches a GLIMPSE of
the bottom of a SCARRED face. And quickly looks AWAY.
Deadpool eats the CORN NUTS. CRUNCH. CRUNCH. Points.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Nice.
Dopinder eyes his DAFFODIL DAYDREAM AIR FRESHENER and takes a
deep breath through his nose.
DOPINDER
Smells good, no?
DEADPOOL
Not the Daffodil Daydream. The girl.
A PICTURE of a young INDIAN WOMAN is taped to the dash.
DOPINDER
Ah yes. Gita. She is quite lovely. She
was supposed to make me a very agreeable
wife. Mom and Dad chose her rather
excellently. But Gita’s heart has been
stolen by my cousin Bandhu. Bandhu is as
dishonorable as he is attractive.
DEADPOOL
Dopinder, I’m starting to think I’m in
this cab for a reason.
DOPINDER
Because you hailed it?
DEADPOOL
No, my slender brown friend... to give
you one crucial piece of advice: Love...
is a beautiful thing. When it finds you,
the whole world smells like Daffodil
Daydream.
Deadpool’s own heartbreak is palpable. He takes another
deep, cleansing BREATH.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 3.
1 CONTINUED: (2) 1
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
So hold onto love tight. Go at Bandhu
hard. Get Gita back. Or else... the
whole world will taste like Mama June
after hot yoga.
DOPINDER
And how does Ms. Mama June taste?
DEADPOOL
Like two hobos making love under a
drizzle of Limburger- I could go all day
like this. Point is, bad.
Deadpool chucks the bag of Corn Nuts into the back seat and
pulls out his PISTOLS. He starts CHAMBERING shells into two
magazines.
Suddenly, he frantically pats himself down, like a Hollywood
agent who can’t find his phone.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Shiiiit. My extra mags! I usually leave
them right by the door so I’ll trip over
them! Someone must’ve moved them...
2 INT. DEADPOOL’S LAIR - DAY 2
A blind late-70’s AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN in a purple floral
dress enters the front door, falls as she trips over an ‘I
*HEART* HELLO KITTY’ DUFFEL BAG of AMMUNITION, PICKS it UP,
and CARRIES it OFF.
Ratings
Scene 2 - Deadpool Gives Dating Advice
DOPINDER
Shall we turn back?
DEADPOOL
No time. Not today.
(slides in last bullets)
Ten, eleven, twelve... or bust.
(chambers a shell into each
gun, looks up)
Right here!
The cab SCREECHES to a stop on the shoulder of the highest
FREEWAY in a massive INTERCHANGE of freeways. Dopinder halts
the meter and hands Deadpool his CARD.
DOPINDER
My card. That’s $27.50.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 4.
3 CONTINUED: 3
DEADPOOL
Oooo. I never carry a wallet when I'm
working. Ruins the lines of my suit.
How 'bout a crisp high five?
Dopinder stares as he and Deadpool slap skin. Deadpool GETS
OUT of the cab.
DOPINDER
Be sure to... ask for me again?
DEADPOOL
I owe you one. Merry Christmas,
Dopinder.
DOPINDER
And a convivial... Tuesday in April to
you, Pool... Guy.
Deadpool closes the door with a flourish. Boom.
4 EXT./INT. ‘THE RAFT’ PRISON - MORNING 4
A bone-white ISLAND PRISON, affectionately nicknamed ‘The
Raft,’ looms ominously in a CITY HARBOR.
Etched in helvetica into the prison wall: ‘No punishment has
ever possessed enough power of deterrence to prevent the
commission of crimes.’ - Hannah Arendt. Below it, GRAFFITIED
in RED SPRAY PAINT: ‘Until NOW’
The prison’s FRONT DOORS OPEN, and out steps a handcuffed
PRISONER, 30’s, ORANGE JUMPSUIT, broad shoulders, whip-smart,
tightly coiled, with cool, dead-blue eyes. BURLY GUARDS
guide him across a CAUSEWAY toward a CONVOY of Escalades and
Ducatis on shore.
The middle Escalade’s door opens. The prisoner stops. The
guards unlock his CUFFS.
GUARD
You’re someone else’s problem now.
The ex-prisoner STRETCHES his arms and strides TOWARD the
convoy.
PRISONER
Yes. I. Am.
CUE SALT & PEPA’S ‘SHOOP:’
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 5.
5 EXT. FREEWAY OVERPASS - DAY 5
DEADPOOL sits on the edge of the highest freeway on the
overpass, legs dangling over the side like Huck Finn.
DEADPOOL
Can I get some fries with that shake-
shake boobie? If looks could kill you
would be an uzi.
Deadpool is using some broken CRAYONS to draw something on a
scrap of paper. REVERSE ANGLE to REVEAL a childish drawing
of Deadpool SHOOTING another man in the head, brains blowing
out.
The victim’s thought bubble reads: ‘OUCHIE!!!’ Even through
the mask, Deadpool looks pleased by this.
He turns to CAMERA:
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Oh, hello, Deadpool here. You may be
wondering whose balls I had to fondle to
get my own movie. Rhymes with
‘Polverine.’ Couple’a smooth criminals.
(ALT:)
In a word, gorgeous.
(ALT:)
Surprisingly little hair down there.
(ALT:)
It’s a jungle down there.
(ALT:)
Thick underbrush.
(beat)
Anyway, I smell Oscar. The suit’s gonna
match the carpet. Now... places to be...
faces to fix... bad guys to kill...
ANGLE ON a distant BIRD’S EYE VIEW of the freeway
interchange: an interwoven tangle of ramps.
6 EXT. REMOTE AIRFIELD - MORNING 6
AJAX, 30’s, dead-blue eyes, broad shoulders, whip-smart,
tightly coiled stands at ease on a cracked and blistered
tarmac. Behind him, a HEAVILY ARMED CONVOY OF DUCATIS and
ESCALADES. FOUR LARGE ALUMINUM CARGO CRATES sit beside him.
Ajax squints into the sun as A BELL HELICOPTER thrashes the
air above him, kicking up dust as it lands.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 6.
6 CONTINUED: 6
A SERBIAN WARLORD, mid-50’s, sharply dressed, armored
BRIEFCASE in hand, climbs out. He is surrounded by ARMED
GUARDS.
The Warlord places the BRIEFCASE on the FOREMOST CRATE. Ajax
pops the case... to find STACKS upon STACKS of THOUSAND
DOLLAR BILLS. Satisfied, he closes the briefcase and hands
it to one of his men.
AJAX
(bangs crate)
They won’t disappoint.
WARLORD
They’d better not. And next month’s
shipment?
AJAX
There won’t be one. Demand is high. You
aren’t the only one with a war to win.
WARLORD
(steps forward)
That won’t do.
Both sets of armed thugs shift to ready positions.
Ajax smiles calmly, but his free hand DARTS OUT and CASUALLY
LIFTS the warlord into the air by the THROAT. Fingers find
triggers on both sides.
AJAX
There’s been a small... disruption in our
supply chain. We’ll deliver in full the
following month. Say, ten percent off
for the inconvenience?
The Warlord manages to nod in acquiescence. Ajax smiles
again, lowers him gasping to the ground.
AJAX (CONT’D)
We appreciate your business.
Ajax spins and walks purposefully toward the line of waiting
SUV’s.
The warlord angrily motions for his men to begin loading the
crates into the helicopter, which they do.
WARLORD
(sotto voce)
Fucking mutant.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 7.
6 CONTINUED: (2) 6
Behind him the convoy of SUV’s and motorcycles pull out,
falling into line as they accelerate past the rows of
derelict aircraft.
Ratings
Scene 3 - Taxi Driver Love Advice and Highway Mayhem
DEADPOOL watches as the convoy approaches. He CASUALLY gets
up as if standing up out of an easy chair...
DEADPOOL
On your mark, get set, go, let me go, let
me shoop...
He PIROUETTES, and DROPS an entire level DOWN...
8 INT. ESCALADE - MORNING 8
THROUGH the SUNROOF of an ESCALADE. SMASH!
There are FOUR HUGE BAD-ASSES inside the S.U.V., two in
front, two behind. Deadpool lands back-middle in a HAILSTORM
of GLASS. He stuns the men to both sides with elbows to the
face as he raises his arms in greeting.
DEADPOOL
¡Hola! ¡Me llamo Piscina De La Muerte!
(subtitled, in YELLOW:)
Hello! My name is the Pool of Death.
There’s no easy way to say this. I’m
pregnant, Trevor.
(ALT:)
Any of you seen Green Lantern? Me
neither.
BOOM! MAYHEM ERUPTS as the two men in back find themselves
sharing a phone booth with the TASMANIAN DEVIL: ELBOWS.
FOREARMS. KNEES. CRACKING. CRUNCHING. SCREAMING.
From BEHIND, the Escalade BUCKS and BOUNCES down the road on
its suspension, almost CARTOON-LIKE.
A brutal punch spins Deadpool UPSIDE-DOWN, and he rolls with
it, uses his FEET to BREAK the man’s NECK. The other man
stomps on his head, then drags him up and SMUSHES Deadpool’s
face into the seat’s premium trim.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Rich... Corinthian... Leather.
Deadpool HURLS the man through THROUGH the TAILGATE WINDOW.
The man clutches the TAILGATE, DRAGGED behind the S.U.V.
Deadpool sticks his head between the two guys in FRONT.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 8.
8 CONTINUED: 8
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Scuse, por favor!
The DRIVER SLAMS Deadpool’s head into the console repeatedly.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Deadpool squirms away and WRESTLES VIOLENTLY with the guy in
the PASSENGER SEAT.
He GRABS the PASSENGER SEAT-BELT, TIES it around the guy’s
ANKLE, and KICKS him out the PASSENGER SIDE DOOR. The guy’s
HEAD and SHOULDERS SMACK pavement, where he’s DRAGGED
mercilessly by his ANKLE - a modern COWBOY whose boot just
got stuck in his horse’s STIRRUP.
Deadpool grabs the driver by the HAIR on the BACK of his HEAD
and BANGS his FOREHEAD into:
The horn. HONK. HONK. The stereo. Every time the driver’s
forehead SMACKS the face of the stereo, the RADIO STATION
CHANGES:
MARIACHI. DR. DREW. MONSTER TRUCK COMMERCIAL (’SUNDAY,
SUNDAY, SUNDAY!’). One more SMACK to get us back to
MARIACHI.
Deadpool looks in the REAR VIEW MIRROR to see the man in back
CRAWL up the tailgate.
Deadpool PUSHES in the Cadillac’s CIGARETTE LIGHTER.
Back to the DRIVER. Deadpool BASHES his face into the
DRIVER’s SIDE WINDOW. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
We’re now OUTSIDE the Escalade, seeing the driver’s
expression take on a ridiculous silly-putty-esque grimace of
pain every time it’s MUSHED into the glass.
The man in back scrambles forward. The CIGARETTE LIGHTER
POPS OUT. Deadpool YANKS the EMERGENCY BRAKE. The man in
back LAUNCHES forward and SMACKS the DASHBOARD.
Deadpool STABS the now ORANGE-HOT lighter into the man’s
forehead, burning the COIL PATTERN into his skin. The man
SCREAMS.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Loved your work in Daredevil.
Deadpool stuffs the lighter INTO the man’s mouth and CLAMPS
his hand over it.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 9.
8 CONTINUED: (2) 8
The man hollers in muffled agony. A MOTORCYCLE has pulled
AHEAD of the ESCALADE and now sits, STOPPED, in its path.
The helmeted RIDER OPENS FIRE with a SUB-MACHINE GUN.
Deadpool has one hand grasped on the back of the driver’s
neck, still mashing his face into the window glass, and the
OTHER hand still clamped over the second man’s mouth. He
plants both FEET on the steering wheel and ‘drives,’ spinning
the wheel, sending the S.U.V. into...
...a ROLL. The Escalade goes ENDO, SOMERSAULTING WILDLY.
Suddenly, the ACTION BEGINS TO SLOW...
The motorcycle RIDER tries to bail out. NO LUCK. The
tumbling Escalade PLOWS RIGHT INTO him AND his bike.
Parts scatter off the motorcycle, including its CHAIN. The
RIDER continues to SQUEEZE off ROUNDS as he goes FLYING.
Inside the Escalade, Deadpool goes SPIN-CYCLE. The DRIVER
flies through the sunroof, tearing out its remaining glass.
BLOOD spatters. The other man spits out the glowing
CIGARETTE LIGHTER. The guy whose ankle is still tangled in
the seat-belt FLAILS through the air like a rag-doll, AHAB
tied to MOBY DICK.
The action CONTINUES to SLOW... until it FREEZES.
The camera swoops in to Deadpool’s face, upside down.
HE TURNS HIS HEAD TO CAMERA FOR THE FIRST TIME, BREAKING THE
FOURTH WALL, THE ONLY THING IN THE SCENE THAT’S MOVING:
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Shit. Did I leave the stove on?
We RAMP back UP to FULL SPEED. The S.U.V. CARTWHEELS. The
guy’s ankle untangles from the seat-belt. He FLIES high
toward a big HIGHWAY EXIT SIGN and... SPLAT... out of frame.
The RIDER’s NECK is SLICED by the flying MOTORCYCLE CHAIN.
The DRIVER is half-way out the SUNROOF when the S.U.V. rolls
over him. SQUISH.
The man who ate the CIGARETTE LIGHTER now eats pavement.
VX8 EXT. X-MANSION - DAY VX8
A sign reads ‘PROFESSOR XAVIER’S SCHOOL FOR GIFTED
YOUNGSTERS.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 10.
VX8 CONTINUED: VX8
REPORTER (O.S.)
Breaking news. A multicar collision
turns shots fired on the crosstown
expressway...
The sign sits on the perfectly manicured front lawn of the
gorgeous Gothic X-MANSION.
VX8 INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS VX8
The X-Men’s COLOSSUS. A GOOD-NATURED GIANT with CHROME METAL
FOR SKIN. BIG AS A BARN. OTHER-WORLDLY STRONG. He is
sitting in the kitchen, eating a bowl of GRAPE NUTS and
finishing a SUDOKU, his attention suddenly drawn to a
TELEVISION SCREEN:
REPORTER
The assailant appears to be wearing a...
COLOSSUS REPORTER (CONT'D)
Red suit? Red suit.
With an audible CRACK, the pencil in Colossus’ thick fingers
snaps. He rises, muttering Russian curses and stalks from
the kitchen.
VC8 INT. HANGAR - MOMENTS LATER VC8
Massive STEEL BLAST DOORS emblazoned with a huge “X” slide
open to reveal COLOSSUS. He walks quickly and purposefully
towards a big plane in the center of the huge space: the
BLACKBIRD, the X-Men’s modified XR-71 jet transport.
Struggling to keep up with the giant’s long strides is a
supernaturally CUTE, supernaturally DEADPAN 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL,
in an X-MEN outfit. NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD.
COLOSSUS
I’ve given Deadpool every chance to join
us. And what is my reward? More
immaturity and criminality! When will he
finally grow up and see benefits of
becoming X-Man?
NTW
Like... The house that blows up every few
years? The fashion-forward jump-suits?
I need to get myself kicked out of X-
School.
COLOSSUS
But I thought you were at top of class.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 11.
VC8 CONTINUED: VC8
NTW
Was that sarcasm? Awesome.
COLOSSUS
You ate breakfast, yes? Breakfast is
most important meal of day.
(hands NTW a protein bar)
Here. Protein bar, good for bones.
Deadpool may try to break yours.
NTW shoves the bar in a pocket of her coat without breaking
stride.
Ratings
Scene 4 - Deadpool vs Thugs on the Freeway
The S.U.V. slides to a halt ON ITS SIDE, PASSENGER WINDOWS
UP. The rest of the CONVOY is forced to stop BEHIND.
A BUNCH of MEN PILE OUT, each one carrying a BEASTLY GUN and
POINTING it STRAIGHT at the disabled S.U.V.
The last noise is made by one final dislodged HUBCAP, which
rattles in little circles until it lies FLAT on the freeway.
TWO SILENT BEATS. Then we hear the soft, ELECTRIC BUZZ of
the Escalade’s middle passenger window ROLLING DOWN. Up pops
the HEAD of DEADPOOL, like the GOPHER in Caddyshack.
BANG BANG BANG BANG.
DEADPOOL
Wait, wait...
The head drops, the hands come up. BANG.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Wait! You’re probably wondering. Why the
red suit? It’s so bad guys can’t see me
bleed. This guy has the idea. He wore
the brown pants.
(to camera)
All together now...
The THUGS immediately OPEN FIRE.
Deadpool is already leaping upward, flipping backwards,
bullets tearing the air beneath him as he pulls out those TWO
MASSIVE .50 CAL PISTOLS... and in slo-mo, RETURNS FIRE.
Deadpool keeps count of every bullet he fires:
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Twelve..!
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 12.
9 CONTINUED: 9
A SHELL-CASING is EJECTED. We enter EXTREME SLO-MO and SWOOP
IN on the shell as it TUMBLES through the air...
...revealing the number ‘00012’ ETCHED in a semi-circle on
its butt end. Deadpool FIRES the second pistol. We move
instantly to the second shell: ‘00011’
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Eleven...
FULL SPEED. The first TWO THUGS get a MOUTHFUL of BULLET.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Ten...
ANOTHER SHOT. A THUG takes one in the HEART. The other
thugs POUR LEAD into the disabled S.U.V.
Deadpool LEAPS UP and OUT of the window, rising ABOVE the
incoming shots, then LANDING SAFELY BEHIND the Escalade.
Deadpool TURNS to SPY a MOTORCYCLE RIDER BEARING DOWN ON HIM.
This rider wears a distinctive SILVER HELMET.
Deadpool raises BOTH pistols. This RIDER LEANS away, dodging
each slug. First left, then right, then left.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Nine. Shit! Eight. Fuck! Seven. Shit-
fuck!
The bike WHIZZES PAST safely, firing bullets, DEADPOOL
follows, leaping high, flipping over the S.U.V.
He lands smoothly the other side, right BEHIND a thug who’s
looking in the other direction as he sneaks around the car.
Deadpool SHRUGS and SHOOTS him in the BACK of the HEAD at
POINT BLANK RANGE.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Six.
The shell tumbles to the ground, falls still. ‘00006’
Deadpool opens the Escalade. His target is NOT THERE.
BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG. Deadpool is nearly BROUGHT DOWN by
a particularly big thug with a particularly big AK-47.
He dives behind another Escalade, takes a moment to search
the interior through the windows... and then flinches as AK-
47 bullets pass THROUGH the skin of the S.U.V. around him.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 13.
9 CONTINUED: (2) 9
One of the bullets lands in DEADPOOL’S BICEP. Deadpool
yelps, in pain... then stuffs some of his torn red suit
fabric into the hole to staunch the bleeding.
Then he scrambles AROUND the S.U.V., trying to close the
distance to this guy through a WITHERING BARRAGE of fire.
Another of the AK’s slugs SLICES a swath out of the mask on
Deadpool’s head, SINGING his hair.
DEADPOOL.
Fuck. You.
Deadpool lands in FRONT of the thug. The thug pulls his
trigger again, only to - CLICK - realize he’s OUT of BULLETS.
DEADPOOL
Someone’s not counting. Cinco.
The bullet HITS the thug in the throat. ‘00005’
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Me gusta cinco.
Deadpool STRIDES past the fallen thug, pawing at his singed
hair - ow - and then out of sheer, pumped-up ANGER...
...turns and PUMPS TWO MORE SUPERFLUOUS BULLETS into him.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Four. Three. Stupid. Worth it.
The SILVER-HELMETED MOTORCYCLE RIDER makes another pass,
FIRING. Deadpool ducks behind the S.U.V. again.
20 yards away, a GROUP of thugs TAKE COVER behind the final
S.U.V. One pulls out a HAND-GRENADE, RAISES HIS ARM to
throw.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
(chuckles)
Number two...
Deadpool FIRES, SHOOTING the GRENADE in the thug’s FIST.
BOOM! The whole CLUSTER of THUGS drops.
Deadpool emerges from behind the S.U.V., feeling victorious.
He approaches the final S.U.V. and throws open the doors to
search, expecting to find his target at last.
Inside is a rumpled orange prison coverall, but NOT the
PRISONER. Deadpool gets childishly angry.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 14.
9 CONTINUED: (3) 9
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
What the shit-biscuit! Where you at,
Francis?
Worse, CLICK-CLACK. The distinctive COCKING of SHOTGUNS.
3 final THUGS stand on the freeway, lined up perpendicular to
Deadpool, SHOULDER-TO-SHOULDER, FIRING BENELLI COMBAT
SHOTGUNS. BAM! BAM! BAM!
Deadpool ducks behind the S.U.V. and raises a PISTOL. We
ZOOM IN through the CHAMBER to spy the last BULLET, POISED in
front of the FIRING PIN:
‘00001’
Deadpool thinks, then LEAPS from behind the ‘SCLADE, TWISTS
forward and right.
All 3 THUGS FIRE again. BUCKSHOT rips into DEADPOOL’s BACK.
But he LANDS so that all 3 men are now parallel to him...
...in A SINGLE-FILE LINE.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
One.
BOOM! We’re with the FINAL BULLET as it HURTLES from the gun
and passes THROUGH the first man’s head... then the SECOND
man’s head... and SMACKS the third man in the forehead.
This third man, the BIGGEST THUG YET, HITS the DECK.
Deadpool puts his mouth to his pistol barrel, INHALES... and
then EXHALES smoke through the pores of his mask.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I’m touching myself tonight.
But then, as if by magic, the third thug STIRS... and STANDS.
The SLUG has LODGED partway in his FOREHEAD, having lost just
enough momentum that it didn’t make it all the way through.
The thug sneers, plucks out the slug, wipes away some blood,
and rolls up his SLEEVES.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Really? Rolling up the sleeves?
Deadpool reaches back. We hear the THRILLING SOUND...
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 15.
9 CONTINUED: (4) 9
...of STEEL BLADES being DRAWN. Out come Deadpool’s
TRADEMARK KATANAS. The thug’s eyes widen as...
...SWOOSH... the blades swing through the air and SKEWER him,
between two different ribs and out the BACK.
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
I know what you’re thinking...
The action SLOWS again to a FREEZE. Deadpool is in mid-
slice, muscles bulging.
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
I’ll bet he works out. So what if I am
pulling the double shift at the ab-
factory? What if I do want my man menu
to feature the shredded beef? Call it
insecurity. But I haven’t touched a carb
since...
Ratings
Scene 5 - The Pizza Delivery
Title: 6 Years Ago
A sleazy, mid-thirties MAN, GAVIN MERCHANT, decked out in
DRAGON PRINT V-NECK and STUDDED JEANS, is MID-ARGUMENT with a
late teen, pimply-faced PIZZA DELIVERY GUY, whose name-tag
reads: JEREMY.
MERCHANT
Will it help if I slow down? I didn’t.
Order. The pizza.
JEREMY
This 7348 Red Ledge Drive?
(off nod)
And you’re... Mr. Merchant?
MERCHANT
The Mr. Merchant who didn’t. Order.
The. Fucking. Pie.
JEREMY
Then who placed the call?
A TOILET flushes in another room, and both men turn.
WADE (O.S.)
I did.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 16.
10 CONTINUED: 10
The VOICE comes from over Merchant’s shoulder. WADE WILSON
(the future DEADPOOL, MINUS the SCARS and SUIT), handsome,
boyish, cheerily steps from through a doorway and into the
living room wiping his hands on a towel.
Merchant STARES, incredulous.
WADE (CONT’D)
Pineapple and olive?
Jeremy NODS.
WADE (CONT’D)
Sweet and salty.
MERCHANT
The fuck are you? And what are you doing
in my crib?!
Without even turning toward Merchant, Wade PULLS OUT A .50
CALIBER DESERT EAGLE PISTOL and nonchalantly AIMS it at him.
Merchant and Jeremy both go pale.
WADE
(to Jeremy)
Burnt crust?
JEREMY
God I hope not.
(opens the box, winces)
Words cannot express-
WADE
Relax, son, that’s hows I likes it! Once
you go black, you never go back!
(takes pizza)
MERCHANT
(stammering)
This is about the poker game, right? I
told Howie... Listen, take whatever you
want!
Merchant fumbles with his wallet and starts to hand Wade the
bills inside. Wade takes the ENTIRE WALLET instead.
WADE
Thanks!
JEREMY
(to Wade)
Uh. Sir? Before you do anything to him.
Could I have a big tip?
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 17.
10 CONTINUED: (2) 10
WADE
(already munching)
Jeremy, is it?
JEREMY
Yeah.
WADE
Wade Wilson.
(quick fist bump)
Jeremy, that’s a no go on the tiperoo.
I’m not here for him.
(levels gun at Jeremy)
I’m here for you.
Jeremy’s eyes widen. Wade holds up a YELLOW CARD, featuring
an embedded SIM. Below the logo of a CYPRESS TREE is the
name of Wade’s intended target: ‘GARRETT, JEREMY.’
Merchant breathes a sigh of relief.
MERCHANT
Dodged a big time bullet on that o-
Wade PISTOL-PUNCHES/POKES Merchant in the forehead. Merchant
howls.
WADE
(re: studded jeans)
Not out of the woods yet. You need to
seriously ease up on the bedazzling.
They’re jeans, not a chandelier.
(sniffs)
And the Axe body spray.
JEREMY
(sheepish)
That’s unfortunately me.
WADE
PS, I’m keeping your wallet. Ya did
kinda give it to me...
MERCHANT
Can I at least have my Sam’s Club card
baaa-
Wade points the pistol at Merchant again, sending him
backpedaling into a chair.
WADE
I will shoot your fucking cat.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 18.
10 CONTINUED: (3) 10
MERCHANT
I don’t have a cat!
WADE
Then whose kitty-litter did I just shit
in?
(turns to Jeremy)
Anyhoo, you by chance know a Meghan
Orlovsky? Getting that right? Orlovsky?
Orloskvy? Do you?
Jeremy manages a timid little NOD.
WADE (CONT’D)
Good. ‘Cause she knows you.
Wade holsters the pistol and WHIPS out a HUNTING KNIFE. He
twirls it adeptly... but instead of holding it to Jeremy’s
neck... CUTS himself a SLICE of PIZZA.
WADE (CONT’D)
What situation isn’t improved by pizza?
Wade shovels half the slice into his mouth, revealing an Army
SPECIAL FORCES TATTOO on his forearm: A SKULL WEARING A
GREEN BERET, BACKED BY A BLADE, AND THE WORDS ‘DE OPPRESSO
LIBER’ (official motto of the U.S. Army Special Forces).
WADE (CONT’D)
(through chews)
Jeremy, I belong to a group of guys who
take a dime to beat a fella down.
(cuts another pizza slice)
Little Meghan’s not made of money, but
lucky her, I’ve got a soft spot.
Wade brings the next pizza slice over to Merchant. Wade
nearly hands it to him but lets go too soon. The slice falls
flat - pineapple down - onto the floor at Merchant’s feet.
JEREMY
B-but I’m-
WADE
(returns to Jeremy)
A stalker. Threats hurt, Jer. Though
not nearly as bad as serrated steel.
Wade pokes the end of his knife into Jeremy’s chest, pinning
him against the wall.
WADE (CONT’D)
So keep away from Meghan. We cool?
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 19.
10 CONTINUED: (4) 10
JEREMY
Y-yeah.
A beat. In a huge ANTI-CLIMAX, Wade deftly twirls his knife
AWAY from Jeremy’s chest, SPINS it on his finger, and JAMS it
back into its SLEEVE.
WADE
Then we’re done.
JEREMY
W-we are?
WADE
Soft spot, remember? But even look in
her general direction again? You’ll
learn in the worst of ways.
(pats Jeremy’s cheek)
I’ve got some hard spots too.
(pauses)
That came out wrong. Or did it?
Ratings
Scene 6 - Pizza Delivery and Skate Park
SKATE PUNKS carve on ramps built into the sides of a highway
underpass. A group of TEEN GIRLS are perched at the bottom
of the nearby stairs, texting each other from inches away.
An old-fashioned GHETTO BLASTER bangs ‘SHOOP.’
SALT & PEPA
I love you in your big jeans.
GIRLS
(join chorus)
You give me nice dreams. You make me
wanna scream...
Boom. A PIZZA BOX lands at their feet. On top of it lands a
POLAROID PICTURE.
WADE (O.S.)
"Oooo, oooo, oooo!"
A FRIZZY-HAIRED EMO GIRL picks up the Polaroid... of a
terrified JEREMY holding another pizza box that has been cut
into a heart, the words ‘I’m Sorry’ scrawled onto it, a PEE-
STAIN on his JEANS, and a laughing WADE photo-bombing with
the knife to his neck. She looks UP to see:
Wade bobbing to the music.
WADE (CONT’D)
You’ve seen the last of Jeremy.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 20.
11 CONTINUED: 11
The girl - MEGHAN ORLOVSKY - leaps up and HUGS Wade tight.
WADE (CONT’D)
That’s why we do it.
GIRL #2
Hey, think you could fuck up my step-dad?
GIRL #3
How ‘bout Vice Principal Renwiki?
WADE
(suddenly serious)
What’d he do to you?
GIRL #3
Suspended me for smoking.
WADE
(turns to go)
Good for him! Sorry, ladies. Me no dig
cigs. And I may look mean. But if I
give a guy a pavement facial? He earned
it.
Wade gives Meghan a smile, turns to leave.
MEGHAN
Hey. Thanks. You’re my hero.
The word catches Wade like a punch to the gut. Hero?
WADE
That I ain’t.
Wade doesn’t turn back, walking through the swooping skaters.
A12 EXT. SISTER MARGARET’S - NIGHT - PAST A12
A grimy SIGN on a grimier brick building reads: ‘SISTER
MARGARET’S SCHOOL FOR WAYWARD GIRLS.’
Ratings
Scene 7 - Mercenary Meets Sleazy Bar Owner
Inside, society’s DREGS. Chief among them, BOOTHE: a HUGE,
menacing hipster with a BOY SCOUT CAP and MASSIVE HANDLEBAR
MOUSTACHE. He’s got some DUDE’s fingers splayed out on the
bar, jabbing a KNIFE POINT between them as fast as he can.
WADE shimmies past, backslaps BOOTHE:
WADE
Boothe!
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 21.
12 CONTINUED: 12
BOOTHE
(turns, smiles)
Heya, Wade!
We hear a STAB and a SCREAM.
Wade winces as he continues on to the BAR, claims a STOOL and
waves over the lone bartender - WEASEL, early 20’s, geeky,
glasses. Think Tom Cruise in ‘Cocktail.’ Then think the
opposite.
WEASEL
Wade Wilson, Patron Saint of the Pitiful.
What can I get you?
WADE
I’d love a blow-job.
WEASEL
We got that in common.
WADE
The drink, moose-knuckle. But first...
Wade digs in a pocket, slaps the YELLOW ‘HIT’ CARD, the one
with the CYPRESS TREE, on the bar.
Weasel goes to the register. Scans the card. Peels off
three ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS. Lays them out like a bank
teller. Wade PUSHES the MONEY AWAY...
WADE (CONT’D)
I ain’t taking allowance money. Make
sure it gets back to Ms. Osflorsky?
Onroflensky? Olly-Olly-Oxen-Free?
WEASEL
Orlofsky. For a merc, you sure are warm-
blooded. Bet you let the boy off easy-
peasy, too.
WADE
(embarrassed)
He’s not a bad kid, Weas. Just a little
light stalking. I was way worse at his
age- traveling to far-off places -
Baghdad, Mogadishu, Jacksonville -
(shudders)
- meeting new and exciting people -
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 22.
12 CONTINUED: (2) 12
WEASEL
And killing them. I’ve seen your
Instagram. What was Special Forces doing
in Jacksonville, anyway?
WADE
Classified.
(whispers)
They have a wonderful TGIFridays. Those
guys know their way around a Loaded
Potato Skin. The point is, I’m trying to
put those days in my rear-view.
Weasel puts the finishing touches on the drink, pushes it
across the bar to Wade.
WEASEL
Kahlua, Bailey’s, whip cream. Fellatio
in a glass.
A burst of laughter turns Wade’s attention to BUCK, a BAD-ASS
in a snakeskin jacket, has a crowd gathered round him, mid-
story. He too is holding a YELLOW CARD with SIM and CYPRESS
TREE.
BUCK
So he’s staring at my Glock in his mouth,
like...
(mouth full)
‘I thought you guys had a code!’ And I’m
like, ‘Yeah, no kids. No women. Almost
fooled by your tits. But the moustache?!
The crowd CRACKS UP.
Wade pulls out Gavin Merchant’s wallet and teases out a
TWENTY. He grabs a passing waitress, tucks the bill in her
shirt pocket and sets the blowjob on her tray.
WADE
Kelly, you mind taking this over to Buck?
Tell him it’s from Boothe.
(whispers, to Weasel)
Little foreplay.
Weasel follows Wade’s gaze to the end of the bar, where a
chuckling BOOTHE wraps a bandage around the guy’s bloody
hand.
WEASEL
Remind me what good comes of this?
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 23.
12 CONTINUED: (3) 12
WADE
I don’t take the shits. I just disturb
them.
Weasel allows himself a tiny conspiratorial SMILE.
SMASH CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 8 - Deadpool visits Sister Margaret's
WADE, in medium shot, TEARING UP at the famous Steven Seagal
bar fight from ‘OUT FOR JUSTICE’ on T.V. as... SMACK...
BAM... a REAL bar fight goes on - OUT OF FOCUS - behind him.
WADE
(trailer voice)
It's a dirty job... but someone's gotta
take out the garbage.
Wade finally turns around to watch. BUCK finishes off
Boothe... then pours the BLOW-JOB on top of him.
WEASEL grabs a hand mirror, hops over the bar, and crosses to
Boothe. All the PATRONS fall HUSH as WEASEL holds the mirror
to Boothe’s mouth. Boothe’s BREATH FOGS it up.
WEASEL
Still kicking.
The place ‘oooooohs.’ Near miss. Weasel returns to his
place behind the bar, looking disappointed.
WADE
Lemme guess. Ya got Boothe in Sister
Margaret’s dead pool.
WEASEL
Um. See. About that-
WADE
You did not bet on me to die.
(looks up at board,
incredulous)
You bet on me to die.
Wade leans back and looks up at an ENORMOUS CHALKBOARD
hanging above the bar: ‘Sister Margaret’s DEAD POOL.’
Below, a long LIST of NAMES. DOLLAR AMOUNTS to the right of
the names. More NAMES to the right of the dollars.
Indeed, ‘WEASEL’ has chosen ‘WADE.’ Wade looks betrayed.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 24.
13 CONTINUED: 13
WADE (CONT’D)
Weasel, you’re the world’s worst friend.
Joke’s on you. I’m living to 102. Like
those old Quaker biddies on the Today
Show. And retiring on my winnings.
WEASEL
Wait, who did you pick?
Weasel looks up a the board, where ‘WADE’ has claimed:
‘BIEBER, J.’
WADE
The Biebs. But I’m probably wrong.
Nothing bad ever happens to teen stars
who make 80 mil a year and think they’re
immune to the pitfalls of addiction and
consequence. He’ll be fine.
(raises shot, yells)
Drinks on me, soldiers of fortune!
MERCENARIES
Hooah!
VANESSA
Whoa, whoa...
Wade turns to see a woman on his other side: VANESSA.
Brunette. Silver-blue eyes. Tank. Tiny jean-shorts.
VANESSA (CONT’D)
Sure you wanna shoot your whole wad?
Wade looks Vanessa all the way up and down... then holds up
his PINKIE.
WADE
Tight.
Vanessa raises her own pinkie. Shakes like a pinkie swear.
VANESSA
Vanessa.
WADE
What’s a nice place like you doing in a
girl like this?
BUCK (O.S.)
It ain’t what she’s doing, it’s who.
BUCK walks past and SLAPS Vanessa on the caboose.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 25.
13 CONTINUED: (2) 13
BUCK (CONT’D)
I’d hit that shit.
Wade pushes back his stool, stands menacingly.
WADE
Buck, you’d best apologize, before-
But Vanessa doesn’t wait for Wade’s chivalry. She blows
right by him and grabs a fistful of Buck’s crotch. Buck
gasps.
WADE (CONT’D)
Yeah, that.
VANESSA
(to Buck)
Say the magic words, Fat Gandalf.
BUCK
I’m sorry! I have no filter between my
brain and mouth. I’m working on it.
Wade takes Vanessa’s shoulders.
WADE
OK, he apologized... hakuna his tatas...
Vanessa lets Buck go, turns on Wade.
VANESSA
(let’s go)
And you-
(shakes Wade off)
Hands off the merchandise.
WADE
Merchandise? So, what, you, uh, bump
fuzzies for money?
VANESSA
Yup.
WADE
Rough childhood?
VANESSA
Rougher than yours. Daddy left before I
was born.
WADE
Daddy left before I was conceived.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 26.
13 CONTINUED: (3) 13
VANESSA
Ever had a cigarette put out on your
skin?
WADE
I didn’t know there was any other place
to put one out.
VANESSA
I was molested.
WADE
Me too. Uncle.
VANESSA
Uncles. They took turns.
WADE
I watched my own birthday party from the
keyhole of a locked closet, which was
also my-
VANESSA
Bedroom? Lucky. I slept in a dishwasher
box.
WADE
So you had a dishwasher. I didn’t know
sleep. It was pretty much 24-7 of ball
gags, brownie mix, and fun-house mirrors.
VANESSA
Who would do such a thing?
WADE
Hopefully you. Later tonight.
(beat)
And my Uncle Kevin.
Wade EMPTIES the rest of Gavin’s wallet:
WADE (CONT’D)
What can I get for two-hundred-seventy
three bucks... and a Yogurtland rewards
card?
Vanessa shoves the bills into her halter:
VANESSA
About forty-eight minutes of whatever you
want...
(peers at card)
And a low-fat dessert.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 27.
13 CONTINUED: (4) 13
Wade grins at her like a kid on Christmas morning.
Ratings
Scene 9 - Arcade Date Night
A two-shot of WADE and VANESSA staring at each other, in
profile. Wade looks really excited.
WADE
Time to put balls... in holes.
REVERSE ANGLE to reveal two SKEEBALL MACHINES in the ARCADE.
Wade inserts tokens, and balls CLUNK down.
Vanessa looks half amused, half weirded out.
WADE (CONT’D)
You said whatever I want.
VANESSA
I get it. You love skeeball. Apparently
more than you love vagina.
WADE
Tough call. Just trying to get to know
the real you... not the plunging-
necklined, short-shorted, two-dimensional
sex object peddled by Hollywood.
Wade slowly turns to CAMERA. REVERSE ANGLE TO his P.O.V.:
A ten-year-old BOY stops in his tracks, his gaze moving from
Vanessa’s plunging neckline to her short shorts.
BOY
Nice tits!
VANESSA
Thank you, son.
(tousles boy’s hair)
You know how to make a woman feel
special.
Vanessa reaches down, grabs two balls, hands one to Wade.
VANESSA (CONT’D)
Balls in holes.
WADE
Prepare to lose tragically.
VANESSA
Bring it, big man.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 28.
14 CONTINUED: 14
Wade smiles slyly, sizes up the ramp, rears back and
OVERHANDS the first ball... right into the 50,000 CUP.
VANESSA (CONT’D)
Ruh-roh.
15 INT. ARCADE PRIZE COUNTER - LATER - PAST 15
A beaming WADE bellies up to the prize counter and lays a
massive armful of pink TICKETS on top.
WADE
The limited edition Voltron: Defender of
the Universe ring, por favor.
TEEN
You’re roughly three hundred thousand
tickets short.
(beat)
It’s nickel-silver-plated.
WADE
(disappointed)
Then I guess the tire-grade rubber
Voltron keychain.
VANESSA places a measly TEN tickets of her own next to them.
VANESSA
And the... pencil eraser.
The weary TEEN behind the counter hands Wade the low-rent
VOLTRON KEYCHAIN, and Vanessa the eraser.
TEEN
(reads keychain package
copy, bows)
You are now the sworn protector of the
gentle people of the planet Arus...
(re: eraser, positive
spin:)
And you... you can... erase stuff...
written in pencil.
Wade extends his arm chivalrously:
WADE
M’lady?
VANESSA
Unfortunately, my anus-loving friend,
your forty-eight minutes are up.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 29.
15 CONTINUED: 15
WADE
Arus. And you’re more evil than evil
King Zarkon himself.
Wade rubs his keychain wistfully, then offers it up.
WADE (CONT’D)
How many more minutes for this?
(hard sell)
FYI. Five mini lion-bots come together
to make up the super-bot.
VANESSA
(faux-excited)
Five mini lion-bots?!
(matter-of-fact)
Three minutes.
WADE
(gives keychain up)
That’s all I’ll need!
ALT:
WADE
What do we do with the remaining two
minutes thirty seven seconds?
VANESSA
Cuddle?
Vanessa smiles and takes Wade’s arm. They walk out of the
ARCADE affectionately...
...to the SOUNDS OF TIRELESS, ATHLETIC SEX.
16 EXT./INT. WADE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT - PAST 16
VANESSA (O.S.)
How long can you keep this up?
DUCT TAPE fails to cover a big multi-fissured CRACK in the
WINDOW of Wade’s CRAPPY APARTMENT. Inside, WADE has VANESSA
up against the wall decorated with CHRISTMAS LIGHTS that have
overstayed their welcome and a CALENDAR. They are going at
it like RABBITS.
WADE
(raises eyebrow)
All year?
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 30.
16 CONTINUED: 16
Dolly Parton’s ‘HERE YOU COME AGAIN’ kicks in, and we...
DISSOLVE INTO:
Ratings
Scene 10 - Sex Montage on Holidays
A MONTAGE of images: Fun, irreverent SEX around the CALENDAR
between WADE and VANESSA, identified by various holidays.
VALENTINE’S DAY SEX. WADE falls back onto a bed covered in
rose petals with VANESSA on top of him. She has drawn a
heart on his chest in red lipstick. They go at it hard...
then pause for a romantic look and kiss.
VANESSA
Happy Valentine’s Day...
Then IMMEDIATELY go back to hard pounding.
CUT TO:
A medium shot of the top half of VANESSA. She is on hands
and knees, rocking back and forth. WADE leans into frame
from behind.
WADE
Happy Chinese New Year’s...
VANESSA
(smiles)
Year of the Dog.
They go at it even harder.
SMASH CUT TO:
The same exact locked-off medium shot, only WADE is now on
hands and knees. His expression betrays great stress.
VANESSA leans into frame from behind.
VANESSA (CONT’D)
Relax... Happy International Women’s
Day...
Wade girds himself, then lets out a surprised, WHIMPERY YELP
as some pioneering object journeys into his virgin lands.
CUT TO:
WADE in bed, legs wrapped around VANESSA’s neck, being orally
pleasured.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 31.
17 CONTINUED: 17
WADE
Happy Fourth of July!
We see FIREWORKS through the skylight above.
CUT TO:
WADE sitting in an arm-chair, fully dressed, reading glasses
on, purusing a book. VANESSA is reading in a chair opposite,
also wearing reading glasses.
VANESSA
Happy Yom Kippur...
(ALT:)
Happy Cesar Chavez Day...
(ALT:)
Happy Lent...
(ALT:)
Happy Lyme Disease Awareness Day...
(ALT:)
Happy Wednesday...
CUT TO:
VANESSA in bed where Wade last was. Now her legs are wrapped
around HIS neck, and he’s pleasuring her.
WADE
(muffled)
Happy Halloween...
VANESSA
Oo... ow...
WADE
(muffled)
Sorry.
(takes out Vampire teeth)
Happy Halloween...
Wade goes back to work.
CUT TO:
WADE and VANESSA banging it out one last time, missionary
style.
VANESSA
Happy Thanksgiving.
(ALT:)
Happy Wednesday.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 32.
17 CONTINUED: (2) 17
Cut WIDE to reveal that they’re on top of the KITCHEN TABLE
during THANKSGIVING DINNER. Wine spills, cranberry sauce
topples, mashed potatoes launch. ALT: BREAKFAST FOOD
INSTEAD.
Nothing takes away from the joy of the moment.
Ratings
Scene 11 - Wade and Vanessa's Christmas Engagement
A CHRISTMAS WREATH hangs on Wade’s wall.
WADE (O.S.)
If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and
your right leg is Christmas...
WADE strikes a pose, HANDS on HIPS, wearing an AWFUL, AWFUL
CHRISTMAS SWEATER. And NO PANTS.
VANESSA sits against the bed’s HEADBOARD, SHEET pulled over
her, up to her chin. She quickly lowers the sheet.
Revealing an APPALLING CHRISTMAS SWEATER of her own.
WADE (CONT’D)
...can I visit you between the holidays?
VANESSA
Y’know, red’s your color. Brings out the
bloodshot in your eyes. Christmas gift!
Catch!
Vanessa tosses something to Wade. It lands in his hands.
WADE
Holy fucking shit.
It’s the nickel-silver-plated Voltron RING, all three hundred
thousand tickets worth.
VANESSA
Limited edition. I had to give the kid
behind the counter a rub and tug. I’m
kidding. I’m not kidding. I’m kidding.
It was nearly five full months of
Skeeball.
WADE
(beams)
Y’know, I’ve been doing some thinking...
VANESSA
Really.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 33.
18 CONTINUED: 18
WADE
...about why we’re so good together.
VANESSA
Why’s that?
WADE
Your crazy matches my crazy. We’re like
two jigsaw pieces... weird curvy edges...
but fit us together, you can see the
picture on top.
Wade plants a kiss on Vanessa. She sits up on her knees.
VANESSA
Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you, only
‘cause you haven’t gotten around to
asking me-
(pregnant pause)
Wade, will you-
VANESSA (CONT'D) WADE
Stick it in my-? Marry me?
VANESSA
Uhh... jinx?
Wade reaches back and pulls out an ENGAGEMENT-RING-LIKE BOX.
Vanessa can barely contain her excitement.
VANESSA (CONT’D)
You’re not wearing pants. Where exactly
were you hiding that?
A vulnerable Wade hands her the box and stands there with the
look of... ‘Open it. Open it!’
WADE
They say one month’s salary.
Vanessa opens the box... to reveal a CANDY RING.
WADE (CONT’D)
Slow month. I’ve been waiting for this
day like Boss Hogg waits to get to the
crazy cheesy crust...
VANESSA
You mean-?
WADE
I do.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 34.
18 CONTINUED: (2) 18
VANESSA
That’s my line. I love you, Wade Wilson.
WADE
Thought you charged extra for that.
VANESSA
I did. At my old job.
WADE
So that’s a-?
Vanessa stares. Swallows. Pulls him back into bed and
WHISPERS ONE SILENT WORD into his ear (’Yes’). Wade jumps up
and DANCES around the room all goofy, POP, LOCK, & ROBOT.
VANESSA
Easy. I can take it back.
Wade dives back into bed, SPOONS with Vanessa, wrapping her
in his ARMS, touching his cheek to hers.
WADE
What if I never let go?
VANESSA
Just rode a bitch’s back, like Yoda on
Luke?
WADE
(contented sigh)
‘Star Wars’ jokes?!
VANESSA
(corrects)
‘Empire.’
WADE
It’s like I made you in a computer.
Wade swoons, reaches, grabs a POLAROID CAMERA off his night-
stand, and holds it at arm’s length.
WADE (CONT’D)
(Yoda voice)
Cheese, say!
The flash POPS. For this one moment, his life is...
WADE (CONT’D)
Perfect.
Wade hands Vanessa the photo. Then...
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 35.
18 CONTINUED: (3) 18
WADE (CONT’D)
Wee break.
...bounces up to go to the BATHROOM. Vanessa gazes at the
photo, which is already FADING IN. Wade notices.
WADE (CONT’D)
Shake it like a- Uh. You get it.
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
Here’s the thing. Life is an endless
series of train-wrecks with only brief,
commercial-like breaks of happiness.
This had been the ultimate commercial
break. Which meant it was time to
return...
Wade peels off his Christmas sweater... and STEPS CONFIDENTLY
BACK TOWARD THE BED. But before he gets there...
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
...to our regularly scheduled program.
...HE PASSES OUT, FACE-PLANTING ONTO THE FLOOR.
Ratings
Scene 12 - Devastating News
WADE is sitting in a doctor’s office, VANESSA by his side,
opposite a solemn ONCOLOGIST. Every image suggests BAD NEWS:
A COMPLEX looking MRI IMAGE of the CIRCULATORY SYSTEM on a
BACKLIT VIEWING TABLE. SWEAT STAINS under Wade’s arms.
Vanessa GRIPPING his hand. The LOOK on the DOCTOR’s FACE.
WADE
You’re clowning. You’re not clowning? I
sense clowns.
DOCTOR
People react to news of late-stage cancer
differently.
Wade and Vanessa turn and share a devastated but loving look.
VANESSA
(to doctor, springs into
action)
So what do we do? Surely there’s
something... we can... do. I mean, my
uncle, he was diagnosed with thyroid
cancer, and there was this new
experimental drug that-
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 36.
19 CONTINUED: 19
The VOLUME of Vanessa’s voice FADES until we can SEE her
talking but no longer hear the words:
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
See, people do react differently.
Vanessa’s already working on Plan A. B.
All the way to Z. Me? I’m memorizing
the details of her face. Like it’s the
first time I’m seeing it. Or the last.
DOCTOR (O.S.)
Mr. Wilson?
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
Believe it or not, this is only the ninth
shittiest thing that's ever happened to
me.
DOCTOR (O.S.)
Mr. Wilson?
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
Stick around. Number 6 is coming right
up.
DOCTOR
Take your time to process this.
20 EXT. FREEWAY - DAY 20
DEADPOOL HAS AJAX PINNED TO THE FREEWAY RAIL.
DEADPOOL
You know how many people I’ve killed to
find you?
AJAX
Actually, I do.
DEADPOOL
So you’re aware I’ve been waiting a long,
long time for this. And now I’m finally
gonna...
(ALT:)
So you’re aware of the category 5 fuck-
storm that’s coming.
(ALT:)
Then you know what’s coming. I’m about
to do to you what Sugar Ray did to the
mid-nineties.
A massive SHADOW passes over AJAX and DEADPOOL, accompanied
by LOUD METALLIC FOOTSTEPS. Ajax looks up, a bit awed.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 37.
20 CONTINUED: 20
Deadpool senses something, reaches back with one hand,
feels...
...what turns out to be Colossus’s METALLIC CROTCH.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Dad?
COLOSSUS GRABS Deadpool’s WRIST, CHUCKS him THROUGH the AIR,
ASS OVER TEAKETTLE.
Ratings
Scene 13 - Spring Cleaning
A CLOSE-UP of a Deadpool ACTION FIGURE from ‘X-Men Origins.’
Mouth sewn shut. Blades implanted into wrists.
In the exact same POSE we just saw the real Deadpool.
Sitting in a nightstand DRAWER in Wade’s apartment.
WADE (O.S.)
This is my most prized possession.
Wade looks like he’s reaching into the drawer for the action
figure, but instead, reaches just UNDER it to grasp Wham!’s
‘Make it Big’ album on Vinyl. He pulls out the album.
VANESSA
Wham?
WADE
Wham!
(cradles album lovingly)
‘Make it Big’ was the album George and
Andy earned their exclamation point.
Wade places the album carefully into one of two OPEN
SUITCASES on the floor next to him. He is currently going
through his possessions, TOSSING OUT the crap and placing the
good stuff into the suitcases.
Wade pulls out the action figure.
WADE (CONT’D)
But this. A little piece of me died the
day this came out...
Wade DUNKS the action figure in the trash can. VANESSA
stands opposite, arms crossed, FUMING.
VANESSA
So I’m s’posed to just... smile and wave
you out the door?
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 38.
21 CONTINUED: 21
WADE
Think of it as a spring cleaning. Only
if spring was death.
(pulls out BERNADETTE PETERS
CHANGE PURSE)
If I had a nickel for every time I
spanked it to Bernadette Peters.
(opens purse, it’s full of
nickels)
Looks like I do.
Wade TOSSES the purse toward one of the suitcases. Vanessa’s
hand stabs out and GRABS it.
VANESSA
Bernadette’s not going anywhere.
(slam-dunks purse back into
drawer)
‘Cause you’re not going anywhere.
WADE
Right! The tumors are only in my liver,
lungs, prostate, and brain. All the
things you can live without.
VANESSA
You know what I mean. You belong here at
home. Surrounded by your Voltron... and
your Bernadette... and your me.
WADE
Babe, we’ve been through this! Cancer’s
a real shit-show. A Yakov-Smirnoff-
opening-for-the-Spin-Doctors-at-the-Iowa-
State-Fair shit-show. And under no
circumstances will I take you to that
show. I want you to remember me me.
VANESSA
Well, I want to remember us us.
(that doesn’t sound right)
We we?
WADE
I swear, I’ll find you in the next life.
And boom-box ‘Careless Whisper’ under
your window. Wham!
VANESSA
Are you gonna keep saying it like that?
Look, I get this impulse. I do.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 39.
21 CONTINUED: (2) 21
VANESSA (CONT'D)
Before I met you, I used to fantasize
about dying alone in the woods, torn
apart by wolves.
WADE
Super fucking bad-ass.
VANESSA
But that was then, and this is now. Walk
out that door. I dare you. I will ride
you out. And I won’t let go. Yoda on
Luke.
Vanessa embraces Wade. Tight. Won’t let go. A TEAR
trickles down Vanessa’s CHEEK.
VANESSA (CONT’D)
(into Wade’s ear)
If you’re willing to fight. There are
still options. We’ll find them.
Together.
WADE
(smiles)
I just realized! I win! My life’s
officially more fucked-up than yours.
VANESSA
No one’s boom-boxing shit.
Vanessa interlaces her pinkie with Wade’s. Smiles.
VANESSA (CONT’D)
What do we we have to lose?
WADE
Nothing. Everything.
Vanessa leans in, and the two start to KISS.
Ratings
Scene 14 - Wade's Reflection
VANESSA, horizontal, limbs akimbo, ASLEEP in bed. She stirs,
feels next to her for Wade. He’s NOT THERE.
REVEAL WADE standing at the bedroom window. His P.O.V. of
the moon makes it look FRACTURED by the cracked glass.
RACK FOCUS to Vanessa’s REFLECTION. She, too, looks
fractured. Wade’s eyes well with TEARS at the sight of her.
Cancer will steal the one thing that ever mattered.
Vanessa’s cracked reflection suddenly RAISES its HEAD.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 40.
22 CONTINUED: 22
WADE
Sorry. Liam Neeson nightmare. I
kidnapped his daughter, and he just
wasn’t having it.
Wade slides back into bed.
WADE (CONT’D)
They’ve made three of those movies. At
some point you wonder if he’s just a bad
parent.
Wade lies on his back. Vanessa nestles her head lovingly
against his chest. He takes a vulnerable look at her, then
stares at the ceiling, LOST.
RS22 INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT RS22
Wade slips quietly out of bed...
...slips on a hoodie and a backpack...
...opens the door... takes one last longing look at
Vanessa...
...and slips into the hallway, closing the door behind him.
Vanessa is left to feel for Wade in the dark.
A22 EXT. STREET - NIGHT A22
WADE walks down the street into the night.
He pulls a crumpled card from his jacket pocket: the black
card with the recruiter’s number.
Still walking, Wade pulls out a cellphone and dials.
23 INT. SISTER MARGARET’S - NIGHT - PAST 23
Just another night at SISTER MARGARET’S WAYWARD SCHOOL FOR
GIRLS. Regular crowd has shuffled in. Tonight, a bit thin.
WADE is bellied up to the bar, disheveled, unkempt, and
distraught. WEASEL leans in:
WEASEL
Jesus. Someone needs a blow-job and a
shower. Though courtesy calls for the
latter first.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 41.
23 CONTINUED: 23
WADE
Three shots of Patron Silver, Weez. And
a cure to terminal cancer.
WEASEL
(hands over a green
concoction)
Fresh out of Patron. Wheatgrass?
WADE
You’re starting to sound like Vanessa...
With SHAKY HANDS, Wade empties his POCKETS, placing CRUMPLED
BROCHURES on the bar.
WADE (CONT’D)
She sent away for all these colorful
clinic brochures. I hear Chechnya’s nice
this time of... never. Then there’s
China... Central Mexico... Know how they
say ‘Cancer’ in Spanish? ¡El Cáncer.’
Wade pulls out one last thing from his pockets: A POLAROID
of HIMSELF and VANESSA. He stares. Weasel notices.
WEASEL
This belongs on the wall. I want to
remember you when you looked... alive.
Wade scrapes up a smile as Weasel tapes the picture to the
BIG BAR MIRROR. Weasel pours a second wheatgrass shot.
Clinks Wade’s glass. They throw them back. WINCE.
WEASEL (CONT’D)
Almost forgot...
Weasel slides Wade a distinctive black BUSINESS CARD across
the bartop.
WEASEL (CONT’D)
Guy came in asking for you. Real Grim
Reaper type.
Wade’s gaze follows Weasel’s gesture across the barroom,
where an ominous MAN in a BLACK SUIT sits ALONE at a table.
WEASEL (CONT’D)
I don’t know? May further the plot?
CUT TO:
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 42.
Ratings
Scene 15 - The Recruitment
WADE dead-man-walks to the back of the bar. He passes BOOTHE
and BEEF on his way. They nod solemnly, like cops at a
funeral procession honoring one of their own.
BEEF
Wade.
Beef offers Wade his shot. Wade eeks out a smile. Throws it
back. Then continues on. Wade stops next to the MAN’s
TABLE.
WADE
Forget your scythe?
The man, even creepier from close up, SMILES.
RECRUITER
Mr. Wilson. Have a seat.
(Wade sits, long pause)
I understand you’ve recently been
diagnosed with terminal cancer.
WADE
Stalker alert.
RECRUITER
It’s my job. Recruitment. And you have
quite a reputation. I’m sorry you’ve had
a tough go. But you’re a fighter. And
not just for Johnny Canuck, impressive as
your stint in special forces was. Forty-
one confirmed kills?
WADE
(bitter)
One every seven weeks. Same rate most
folks get a hair-cut.
Wade grabs the recruiter’s drink and throws it back.
WADE (CONT’D)
To wash the taste out. It’s hard to
forget being so... impressive.
RECRUITER
Now you spend your days sticking up for
the little man, slitting small time
throats for small time folks.
WADE
People change.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 43.
23A CONTINUED: 23A
The recruiter leans uncomfortably close.
RECRUITER
(low, conspiratorial)
Speaking of which... Mr. Wilson, I
represent an organization that may be
able to help. What if I told you we can
cure your cancer? And what’s more, give
you abilities most men only dream of?
WADE
I’d say you sound like an infomercial.
And not a good infomercial, like Slap
Chop. More Shake-Weighty.
(jack-off motion)
RECRUITER
The world needs extraordinary men. We
won’t just make you better. We’ll make
you better than better. A super-hero.
WADE
I already tried the hero business. Let’s
just say it left a mark. The only chance
you’ll see me again is if I hit ‘fuck-
it.’
Ratings
Scene 16 - Desperation World Tour
A DILAPIDATED, SKETCHY MEDICAL ‘CLINIC’ haunts the cityscape
in GUADALAJARA, MEXICO.
WADE (V.O.)
For now, I’ll get through this with the
one I love.
A sickly-looking WADE is on the final stop in his futile
quest to find a cure. DESPERATE. Among the MOST DESPERATE.
He sits in a pathetic muzak-filled WAITING ROOM. Wearing a
SOMBRERO and clutching VANESSA’s hand. Her fingers are
interlaced in his, once perfectly manicured nails chewed to
the quick.
Vanessa is also wearing a SOMBRERO, and ANXIETY on her face.
Wade COUGHS SEVERELY, REPEATEDLY into a HANDKERCHIEF.
Wade turns to the sweet ELDERLY COUPLE sitting next to him,
ekes out a smile. The old man plays with some WORRY BEADS.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 44.
24 CONTINUED: 24
WADE
(pulls out Spanish-English
electronic translator)
De donde eres?
ELDERLY WOMAN
Boca Raton.
WADE
Ah. The fancy part of Mexico.
ELDERLY MAN
We’ve moved in with my son. To afford
the treatment.
Wade looks pained to hear this.
WADE
Cancer? Sorry - ¿El Cáncer?
ELDERLY MAN
Stage four.
WADE
Toughest part of the Tour de France.
VANESSA
Very hilly.
The elderly man gestures to the souvenir PATCHES sewn onto
Wade’s ‘HELLO KITTY’ DUFFEL: CHECHNYA. CHINA. INDONESIA.
ELDERLY MAN
Logging some frequent flier miles?
WADE
(bone-weary)
Final stop on Desperation World Tour,
2016, which I believe was also the name
of the Stones’ last concert...
VANESSA
‘Final’ because this is where we find the
cure.
A MOTHER and her stoic young SON sign in with the NURSE
behind the front desk. The boy has lost all his HAIR.
NURSE
No cheques de viajero. No pesos. Cash.
Americano.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 45.
24 CONTINUED: (2) 24
Wade grows upset as the mother counts out hard-earned CASH.
The boy reaches for a BOX filled with CHUPACHUPS (lollipops).
The nurse scolds:
NURSE (CONT’D)
Chupachups cuestan extra!
WADE (O.S.)
(angry)
Hey!
The nurse looks coldly at Wade. He stares back, eyes hard,
then gets up and lays a crumpled dollar on the counter.
WADE (CONT’D)
(ice cold)
It’s on me.
The nurse blinks, then stands, checking a CHART.
NURSE
Señor... Abe Solomon?
ABE and his WIFE get up. The nurse motions for Mrs. Solomon
to stay in the waiting room.
ABE
(to Wade and Vanessa)
Handsome couple. Good luck to you two.
Abe drops his WORRY BEADS. Wade bends to retrieve them, then
stands with effort and gently hands them to Abe.
WADE
Good luck to you, Pops.
Wade sits back down, and his eyes find the LITTLE BOY: his
SUNKEN EYES. His MISSING HAIR. His LOLLIPOP, CLUTCHED like
the richest treasure.
Wade turns to look at Vanessa, who’s also staring at the boy.
Even though Vanessa is healthy, she, too, looks sick. No
makeup. Dirty hair. Dark circles under her eyes. When she
looks at Wade, it’s clear she, not he, most needs comfort.
Wade pulls Vanessa close and strokes her hair with a
trembling hand. Abe disappears. Wade watches with a newly
dark look of suspicion.
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 46.
Ratings
Scene 17 - Murderous Past
ABE lies shirtless on an UNSANITARY operating table, a tray
of RUSTY surgical KNIVES nearby.
A MAN with a pock-marked face stands over him in a white lab
coat with blue-stitched cursive writing: ‘Dr. Delgado.’
DOCTOR
Buenos días, Señor Abe.
‘Doctor’ Delgado pokes and prods with his fingers, as if
Abe’s mid-section is Play-Doh.
DOCTOR (CONT’D)
Voy a llegar dentro de tu cuerpo.
ABE
I’m sorry. No hablo español, doc.
The doctor’s other hand dips below the table, comes up
dripping with something bloody. He kneeds at wrinkled skin
smearing the CHICKEN BLOOD across Abe’s flesh.
DOCTOR
De que se cure! Señor Abe, you are
cured.
The doctor holds SMELLING SALTS under Abe’s nose. His closed
eyes jerk open to see the doctor’s gloved hand CLUTCHING a
huge, bloody ‘TUMOR.’
Abe pushes himself up, peers down at his bloody abdomen with
awe. The doctor wipes the blood away and helps him up.
ABE
(tearing up)
Thank you. I owe you my life.
As Abe shuffles out, the doctor turns away to dump the
‘tumor’ in the trash and wash his bloody hands in a basin.
DOCTOR
(over his shoulder)
¡Proximo! Next!
WADE (O.S.)
Already here, hombre.
Dr. Delgado nearly JUMPS at the sight of WADE, already
standing in the OPEN DOOR of the room, looking DANGEROUS.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 47.
25 CONTINUED: 25
DOCTOR
So sorry, you surprise me. How...
long... you standing there, Señor?
Wade walks slowly TOWARD the doctor, who steps out nervously
from BEHIND his table. The two stand face-to-face. Wade
smiles... angles his foot UNDER the OPERATING TABLE...
...and uses it to SLIDE something out from underneath the
table: a BUCKET of BLOODY CHICKEN GIZZARDS that double as
removed ‘tumors.’ Wade’s RAGE seems to grow by the INSTANT.
WADE
Long enough...
Delgado senses he is suddenly in danger, picks up a rusty
SCALPEL from his tray. Wade moves toward him. Delgado
LUNGES, He STABS WADE in the shoulder, then RUNS.
Wade TACKLES him. In Wade’s weakened state, the fight
becomes an intense STRUGGLE. The two FALL and WRESTLE. The
BUCKET of GIZZARDS overturns. They roll around in slop.
The doctor squirms out of Wade’s grasp and crawls into the
hallway. Wade wriggles after him, tugging at his ankle.
26 INT. WAITING ROOM / HALLWAY - SUNSET - PAST 26
The MUZAC still plays. VANESSA smiles warmly/sadly at the
little BOY, who is unwrapping his CHUPACHUP.
Suddenly... a SCREAM and cries for help in Spanish. The
NURSE and an ALARMED VANESSA rush toward the shouting.
27 INT. HALLWAY - SUNSET - PAST 27
At last, WADE’s fury has overcome his physical weakness. He
straddles the DOCTOR’s CHEST. His expression is that of a
man who’s LOSING his SHIT.
Wade RAISES THE SCALPEL, SLASHES at the doctor’s throat, then
STABS him in the heart. The doctor writhes, spasms, gurgles,
and falls still.
Chest heaving, Wade raises his head to see... at the FAR END
of the HALL:
VANESSA - frozen, TERRIFIED. A blood-soaked Wade locks eyes
with her and swims back up into SANITY... ‘What have I done?’
This is a horrific glimpse into Wade’s murderous past...
...and the look on Vanessa’s face is one of HORROR and PAIN.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 48.
27 CONTINUED: 27
Awash in shame, Wade staggers to his feet, slips on chicken
blood, and LUNGES in the other direction. He hits the door
at the end of the hall at a RUN.
28 STAB! 28
The sword, covered in BLOOD, penetrates the crayon drawing of
the recruiter on DEADPOOL’s CORKBOARD.
DEADPOOL
Thank you, Agent Smith.
Deadpool lasers in on AJAX’s picture at the top of the
pyramid.
29 EXT. GUADALAJARA STREET - SUNSET - PAST 29
WADE leans against a wall, gasping for breath. He looks back
toward her voice, face a mask of pain. Instead of seeking
her... he melts into the busy street.
30 EXT. DEADPOOL’S LAIR - DAY 30
DEADPOOL trudges to his FRONT DOOR. He speaks to the
AUDIENCE:
DEADPOOL
Some kind of anger can’t be managed.
Like the kind where your year-long plan
ends with the wrong guy getting
dismembered! That said... when it comes
time to licking wounds... there’s no
place like home, and I share that home
with someone you met, the old blind lady
from the laundromat, Al. She’s like
Robin to my Batman. Except she’s old.
And black. And blind.
POPS INSIDE
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
And I think she loves me. Wait... pretty
sure Robin loves Batman, too.
Ratings
Scene 18 - The Transformation
WADE, ghastly, nearing death, lies BACK onto a STRETCHER,
covered only by a FLIMSY HOSPITAL GOWN. He’s being wheeled
down a dim corridor by two tough-looking ORDERLIES.
In one hand, he holds the recruiter’s crumpled BUSINESS CARD.
In the other, he clutches the limited edition VOLTRON RING,
as tight as his shaky hand allows.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 49.
31 CONTINUED: 31
They turn a corner and push through a pair of double doors
into a cavernous room. Wade looks around, full of hope for a
new life. Immediately, every single thing he sees/hears
begins to erode his confidence. The RECRUITER stands just
inside the doors, smiling.
RECRUITER (O.S.)
Mr. Wilson! Nothing warms my heart like
a change of someone else’s.
Walking into Wade’s P.O.V. is the creepy RECRUITER. He beams
down on Wade.
RECRUITER (CONT’D)
You finally hit ‘fuck-it.’
WADE
Worse. Just promise you’ll do right by
me. So I can do right by someone else.
RECRUITER
Of course.
WADE
Oh, and please don't make my super suit
green. Or animated.
RECRUITER
I hope you enjoy your stay.
The ‘Workshop,’ as this old warehouse is affectionately
called, has been converted into a working LABORATORY.
Wade is wheeled through a vast room containing rows of
individual ‘tents,’ each containing a SUBJECT. Wade’s eyes
DART to helpless SILHOUETTES.
We hear WHISPERS, WHIMPERS, MOANS.
A FELLOW PATIENT, a pathetic, terrified little man named
CUNNINGHAM, is wheeled past Wade, restrained on another
STRETCHER. Cunningham briefly locks eyes with Wade, but
quickly moves on by.
Wade can’t help but be alarmed by the TERROR in Cunningham’s
eyes.
The tents are illuminated by BLINDING overhead lights. Wade
spies GRUESOMELY INTIMIDATING MEDICAL EQUIPMENT.
Wade is wheeled into the tent that’s his new home. The
FIGURE who was pushing Wade DUMPS him onto a CHROME OPERATING
TABLE and roughly STRAPS him down.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 50.
31 CONTINUED: (2) 31
WADE
Um. My first request? A warmer table.
(shivers)
And warmer hands.
Wade DOUBLE-TAKES at the sight of the figure above him:
ANGEL DUST - thirties, female, tall, sexy, athletic - an
Amazonian warrior in another age.
Angel Dust wheels over a high-tech I.V. DRIP, complete with
glass cylindrical tanks housing a glowing, viscous LIQUID.
Then she roughly straps Wade’s NECK to the table. Wade
nearly GASPS, the color now officially drained from his face.
WADE (CONT’D)
Easy! Aren’t you a little strong for a
lady? I’m calling wang.
ANGEL DUST
You’d like that, huh. Welcome to our
little hospital.
WADE
It doesn’t look like a hospital. It
looks like Chlamydia holding still.
An UNLIT MATCHSTICK protrudes from Angel Dust’s teeth - her
idea of a TOOTHPICK.
WADE (CONT’D)
Oral fixation?
ANGEL DUST
Shut. The fuck. Up.
Angel Dust places a FINGER on Wade’s FOREHEAD and SHOVES his
head back against the table - BANG - pinning it there.
AJAX (O.S.)
Patience, Angel. All in good time.
Enter AJAX, whom we know as the PRISONER from the RAFT with
whom we’ve seen Deadpool tangle in the PRESENT. This is the
first Ajax and Wade have met.
WADE
Can I expect turndown serv-?
Ajax nods to Angel Dust. BOOM! She GAGS Wade with SURGICAL
TUBING, then wraps it around the TABLE, immobilizing his
head.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 51.
31 CONTINUED: (3) 31
AJAX
You’re a talker.
Wade’s eyes are wider than ever. WTF?
AJAX (CONT’D)
(disarmingly matter-of-fact)
Mr. Wilson, my name is Ajax. I manage
the Workshop. My ‘welcome’ speech used
to be full of euphemisms like ‘You may
feel some discomfort.’ But I’ve grown
blunt.
Ajax unsheathes an I.V. NEEDLE. Angel Dust up-tilts the
table 45 degrees, then readies a holographic monitor.
AJAX (CONT’D)
The Workshop is not a government program.
It’s a private institution tasked with
turning reclamation projects like
yourself into men of extraordinary
abilities. I’m about to remake your
life. But if you think cancer cures
painlessly, you’re wrong. If you think
super-human powers are acquired
painlessly, you’re wrong.
Ajax touches Wade with the I.V. NEEDLE, pressing here and
there, not QUITE hard enough to break skin. At last, he
locates the subclavian vein. Wade flinches.
AJAX (CONT’D)
We’re injecting you with a serum that
activates mutant genes. For it to work,
we need to subject you to extreme stress.
The liquid glows FLUORESCENT through Wade’s white skin as it
pumps into the pulmonary highway.
AJAX (CONT’D)
You’ve heard the whole make-an-omelette,
break-some-eggs bit?
(Wade blinks)
I’m about to hurt you, Wade. The kind of
hurt I can’t describe and you can’t
prepare for. It’s cruel stuff. And
there’s no way out for you. No secret
you can tell me. No soft spot in me to
appeal to.
Wade stares at them in shock.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 52.
31 CONTINUED: (4) 31
ANGEL DUST
What, you expected Weapon X?
Ajax starts to TURN AWAY, but stops.
AJAX
One more thing. What’s the ad? ‘I’m not
just the president. I’m a client?’ I’ve
been through this procedure myself. It
made me stronger. It also scorched my
nerve endings. So I no longer feel pain.
In fact...
(smiles)
I no longer feel anything.
Wade reacts by SAYING something - made UNINTELLIGIBLE by the
surgical tubing. Ajax nods to Angel Dust, who slices the
SURGICAL TUBING, SNAPPING it away and FREEING Wade to TALK.
WADE
Something in your teeth.
Ajax smiles WITHOUT opening his mouth, signals Angel Dust.
She slams Wade’s head back again as he turns to leave.
Before he exits, Ajax hesitates, can’t help but check his
teeth in one of the surgical mirrors.
WADE (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Made you look! Hey, is Ajax your real
name? ‘Cause it sounds suspiciously made
up. What’s it really? Steve? Mark?
Trevor? Kyle?
(E.T. voice)
Elliot?
We hear LAUGHS from nearby tents. Wade is now playing for an
audience.
AJAX
Joke away. The one thing that never
survives this place is a sense of humor.
WADE
We’ll see!
AJAX
(to Angel Dust)
All yours.
We re-take WADE’S P.O.V. as Angel Dust, chewing her
matchstick, re-enters frame above him, smiles, then punches
him in the face. Black.
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 53.
Ratings
Scene 19 - Mutant Treatment Montage
A MONTAGE of Wade’s treatments in the Workshop, set to the
notes of JOHN DENVER’s inspirational classic, ‘I WANT TO
LIVE.’ Juxtaposed with HARROWING VIGNETTES of Angel Dust and
AJAX experimenting on WADE...
...as he GASPS, CLAWS, SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER.
Wade is DUNKED into thick, molasses-like LIQUID. PULLED and
YANKED, POKED and PRODDED by contraptions that would have
shamed the Spanish Inquisition.
SAWED. COMPRESSED. SLICED. DICED. SLAP-CHOPPED. BLED.
LONG SYRINGES PLUNGE DEEP INTO SOFT TISSUE.
SCALPELS MAKE LONG INCISIONS.
ENDOSCOPIC CAMERAS TRAVEL THROUGH THE BODY, REVEALING THE
DIRTY WORK OF INVASIVE SURGICAL EQUIPMENT.
STAPLE-GUNS DRIVE STAPLES INTO SLICED SKIN TO PULL IT BACK
TOGETHER.
MINIATURE CIRCULAR SAWS SLICE THROUGH BONE.
IV’s PULL FLUIDS FROM THE BODY AND INSERT OTHER FLUIDS IN.
JOHN DENVER
I want to share what I can give. I want
to be... I want to live!
We also see SHORT, ULTRA-FAST MINI-MONTAGES of medical
instruments, implying the PASSAGE of TIME.
32AA INT. WORKSHOP - MONTAGE - NIGHT 32AA
Over images of:
INJECTION:
AJAX (V.O.)
The serum I’m injecting you with targets
any mutant genes lurking in your DNA.
TORTURE:
AJAX (V.O.)
Adrenaline acts as a catalyst for the
serum, so we must subject you to extreme
stress.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 54.
32AA CONTINUED: 32AA
AJAX (V.O.)
If you’re lucky, the mutant genes will
activate and manifest in spectacular
fashion.
AJAX (V.O.)
If not, we’ll have no choice but to keep
hurting you in new and different ways.
Each more painful than the last.
32AA INT. WORKSHOP - DAY 32AA
AJAX
Until you finally mutate. Or die.
Ratings
Scene 20 - Mutant Gene Activation
At last, Wade is laid back down on his table, only now in
QUIET DARKNESS, MEEK, WITHOUT ANY RESISTANCE whatever.
CUNNINGHAM (O.S.)
Puppies.
In the tent NEXT to Wade, CUNNINGHAM holds up his FIST to the
fabric. Wade can see it through the cloth in SILHOUETTE.
CUNNINGHAM (CONT’D)
It helps picturing puppies.
Wade gives Cunningham a KNUCKLE BUMP through the fabric.
WADE
Puppies.
CUNNINGHAM
Or kittens. If you swing that way.
WADE
(chuckles)
I swing both ways.
Wade swallows hard, grows serious:
WADE (CONT’D)
But me, I’ve been making a list of things
I still plan to do.
CUNNINGHAM
A bucket list?
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 55.
33 CONTINUED: 33
WADE
I prefer fuck-it list: Naked tandem base-
jumping with the WNBA’s Sacramento
Monarchs... Sparking up a spliff with the
Olympic torch...
CUNNINGHAM
Finishing my Lego Millenium Falcon...
WADE
Giving Meredith Baxter Birney a dutch
oven...
CUNNINGHAM
Making my kids banana pancakes...
AJAX (O.S.)
With the mouse ears? Creative, and
delicious.
AJAX and ANGEL DUST enter CUNNINGHAM’s tent and begin
prepping him for a fresh round of torture.
AJAX (CONT’D)
It’s OK, I encourage distractions. Can’t
have you giving up on us, can we now, you
little worm?
Suddenly, a VOICE calls out from the adjacent tent:
WADE (O.S.)
Don’t take that shit, Cunningham! How
tough can he be? Name like Francis.
Ajax is very subtly SURPRISED. WHAT did Wade just say? WADE
is still strapped down inside. Talking nice and LOUD:
WADE (CONT’D)
That’s right! He got ‘Ajax’ off a dish-
washing liquid!
(laughs from nearby tents)
Legal name’s Francis. F-R-A-N-C-I-oops.
Ajax has ENTERED Wade’s tent. Ajax’s expression tells us all
we need to know about the validity of Wade’s claim.
With as much freedom of motion as he has in one hand, Wade
WAVES a STUB of PAPER at Francis.
WADE (CONT’D)
Dry-cleaning tag, Francis. Snagged it
off your lab coat.
(beat)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 56.
33 CONTINUED: (2) 33
WADE (CONT’D)
FYI. I may be able to get you the super-
hero discount.
CLOSE-UP on the tag, which reads ‘FREEMAN, FRANCIS.’
Ajax stares hard at Wade with menacing eyes.
AJAX
You are so relentlessly annoying. Shut
the fuck up, or I’ll sew that pretty
mouth shut.
WADE
Uh, I wouldn’t do that. Here’s the
problem with round-the-clock torture.
You can’t really step it up from there.
AJAX
Is that what you think?
WADE
Yeah. Francis. That’s what I think.
34 OMITTED 34
V35 EXT/INT. MONTAGE - VARIOUS V35
Ratings
Scene 21 - Mutant Gene Activation Torture
Two ORDERLIES and ANGEL DUST finish strapping Wade down and
attaching ELECTRODES to his head and chest. Wade is BOUND to
a HOSPITAL BED that’s ENCASED in a large CAPSULE of
PLEXIGLAS.
The top half of the capsule is hinged to one side, OPEN,
allowing Angel Dust access to Wade.
Ajax sits eating a meal from some Tupperware in a nearby
chair.
AJAX
Seems your genes are as stubborn as you.
But we can still increase your suffering.
We don’t even have a name for this next
toy.
Various WIRES and TUBES run out of the capsule, connected to
OXYGEN TANKS, DIALS, and a MONITOR tracking BRAIN and HEART.
AJAX (CONT’D)
We reduce the oxygen in the air to the
exact point you feel like you’re
suffocating.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 57.
35 CONTINUED: 35
AJAX (CONT’D)
If you start to pass out, and your brain
waves slow, we turn up the O2. If you
catch your breath, and your heart rate
slows, we turn it back down. And we
leave you. Right. There.
WADE
Um. What?
AJAX
Waterboarding is the most severe stress
known to man. This device prolongs that
stress. For hours, days, weeks...
Angel Dust chews her match and TAPS the capsule with a
FINGER.
ANGEL DUST
Or if you keep yapping, years...
WADE
And I thought you were dicks before
this.
AJAX
The saddest part? You still think we’re
making you a super-hero. You.
Dishonorable discharge. Beating up pizza
guys. Hip deep in hookers. You’re
nothing. I’d call you an asshole, but
I’d have to answer to assholes. Little
secret, Wade. The Workshop doesn’t make
super-heroes. It makes super-slaves.
We’re gonna fit you for a control collar
and auction you to the highest bidder.
(finishes meal, gets up)
Who knows what they’ll force you to do.
Put down freedom fighters. Murder
innocents. Or maybe just mow a lawn or
two.
ANGEL DUST
There’s a brave face.
Ajax goes to close the lid.
WADE
Seriously. Now you do have something in
your teeth.
AJAX
Enjoy the weekend!
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 58.
35 CONTINUED: (2) 35
Ajax swings the capsule CLOSED and LOCKS it. The sound leaks
away until all that’s left is a HISSING SOUND as AJAX hits
BUTTONS to lower O2 LEVELS.
Wade’s voice drops out as his breathing suddenly grows SHORT
and SHALLOW. The oxygen dials fall. His HEART-RATE SOARS.
ANGEL DUST
(chuckles)
He looks like a turd in a punch-bowl.
AJAX
(bright idea)
The ‘Punch-Bowl!’
Wade fights off panic. His breaths become desperate GASPS.
There’s not enough air to talk, or even SCREAM.
DISSOLVE TO:
Ratings
Scene 22 - Mutant Gene Activation and Torture
Night. Eerily DARK, SILENT.
An extreme CLOSE-UP of Wade’s hand, nails clenched into the
surface of whatever he’s lying on. Is his skin... actually
BUBBLING?
Two MEN enter the tent and stand over the PUNCH-BOWL.
CLICK. One of the men turns on a surgical light overhead,
revealing himself to be a KINDLY-looking DOCTOR, avuncular,
thick glasses. Next to him is an ORDERLY. The doctor peers
through the Punch-Bowl’s lid. He is SURPRISED by what he
sees. He nods to the orderly: ‘Go on, hurry.’
The orderly quickly unlocks and unlatches the lid, then
swings it OPEN. Air RUSHES INTO the PUNCH-BOWL. The orderly
steps away, leaving the doctor alone in the room.
WADE, hidden in darkness, gasps as though surfacing after
being held underwater.
The doctor casts a SHADOW over WADE’s face inside. The
doctor is FASCINATED, ENLIVENED.
DOCTOR
Mr. Wilson... these results are
remarkable.
Wade takes deep LUNGS-FUL of AIR.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 59.
35A CONTINUED: 35A
DOCTOR (CONT’D)
Your cancer cells are more aggressive
than ever. Dividing and metastasizing at
a fantastic rate.
WADE
(broken, breathless)
Yippee.
DOCTOR
But... the cells have inalterably
changed. They’re no longer destructive,
but productive, selectively targeting and
replacing damaged tissue.
WADE
That was a lot of... what’s the word...
syllables. Are you saying I’m better?
DOCTOR
Better than better. A miracle.
WADE
(weak smile)
My Mom used to call me that.
(ALT:)
Me and Jesus.
(beat, to doctor)
Thank you. I owe you my life.
Wade grows choked up. The doctor is taken with empathy and
affection. He tenderly brushes the hair off Wade’s forehead,
of which the camera catches the tiniest glimpse. Wade’s skin
is not RIGHT somehow.
DOCTOR
There. There. Your journey’s been long
and difficult. But you’ve become
something extraordinary. Just rest now.
Rest.
The doctor slowly exits. Wade lies there. Actually relaxes.
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
Then, just when I thought I could breathe
easy...
Who appears over the PUNCH-BOWL but...
...AJAX.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 60.
35A CONTINUED: (2) 35A
AJAX
Oo. Someone lost his shot at homecoming
king.
WADE
You f-fucking sadistic-
AJAX
No. Not fair. Everything I’ve done to
you has been in your best interest. Even
this next bit. You may be cured, but you
still need to learn to be a better man.
Polite. Respectful. What better way to
teach you than to close this lid... and
keep torturing you stupid.
Ajax SLAMS the lid shut, LATCHES and LOCKS it. The hissing
resumes. Wade’s eyes grow wide. He starts to slip-slide
toward absolute ANGUISH.
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
If you think I’m losing my marbles ‘cause
I can’t breathe. You’re only half right.
Ajax appears to be looking in at Wade. But we RACK FOCUS to
reveal he’s looking at his REFLECTION in the Plexiglas lid,
checking for stuff between his teeth.
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
See, if Francis was able to see his
reflection...
The camera SWINGS around to Wade’s POINT-OF-VIEW of Ajax
through the glass lid, which has been newly ILLUMINATED by
the surgical light above...
...and then RACKS FOCUS to WADE’s REFLECTED FACE. Covered
with HORRIFIC SCARS. Wade is no longer a handsome young man.
He is a monster. Which is perfectly visible to him one foot
away.
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
You know what they say. You always
remember your first time.
Wade throws back his head in a SILENT SCREAM.
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
Even 5 years later...
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 61.
36 EXT./INT. SCRAP-YARD / GROUND - DAY - PRESENT 36
Back in the PRESENT, we find ourselves in a huge SCRAP-YARD,
where various ships, planes, etc. are sold for scrap iron.
Among various vehicles is an OLD, BATTERED COMBAT CARRIER,
long given up for dead.
A heavy truck navigates through the heaps of scrap-metal and
grinds to a stop in front of the carrier.
Two heavyset MEN climb down and head toward the back of the
truck, heave the heavy door open.
AJAX and ANGEL DUST stand just inside, boxes and gear piled
up behind them. They hop down as four more rough-looking men
pile out behind them.
Angel Dust drags out a WOODEN CRATE. The planks crunch as
she digs her fingers into the wood and heaves it up on one
burly shoulder as if it weighed no more than a sack of flour.
Heavy AMMO peeks through.
ANGEL DUST
Better to be the hunter than the hunted.
Ajax and Angel Dust walk across the muddy yard toward a
service elevator bolted to the rusting hulk of the carrier.
AJAX
Either I kill him, or he kills me. Let’s
put him out of our misery...
VA37 INT. GARBAGE TRUCK - DAY VA37
DEADPOOL lays horizontal. He is speaking to the AUDIENCE:
DEADPOOL
There... all caught up.
He CLIMBS up and out of the GARBAGE TRUCK.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
(yells to driver)
Thanks for the lift! Apologies if I bled
in the recyclables.
Ratings
Scene 23 - Mutant Gene Activation
A mid-city DUPLEX. Borderline ghetto. Semi-furnished,
‘first apartment’ quality: futons and torchiere lamps.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 62.
37 CONTINUED: 37
Stained carpet, currently being swept by a roaming ROOMBA.
IKEA... everywhere.
The same old AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN we glimpsed early in the
movie - late 70’s - purple floral dress - sits on a ratty
couch, where the typical old woman might KNIT.
Instead, this old woman uses a BOX-CUTTER to lay waste to a
BIG CARDBOARD BOX from IKEA - the ‘IVAR SHELVING UNIT.’
She lays out its components and tools on a wobbly IKEA NORNAS
COFFEE TABLE...
...made more difficult by the fact that she is completely
BLIND. This is Deadpool’s roommate, BLIND AL.
Suddenly, Blind Al’s KEEN EAR picks up a faint, distant
KNOCKING. She cocks her head to LISTEN.
38 EXT. DEADPOOL’S LAIR - DAY - PRESENT 38
ANGLE ON THE FRONT YARD:
Dirt. No grass. ‘93 Chevy Avon up on BLOCKS. An exhausted
DEADPOOL is slumped against his own front door, red suit, no
mask, no right HAND. He is KNOCKING weakly on the door with
the SIDE of his HEAD.
Ratings
Scene 24 - Torture and Tension
ANGLE ON THE LIVING ROOM:
BLIND AL stands up in comfy creme nursing shoes. Grabs her
red-tipped CANE. And shuffles toward the front door...
...when she is TRIPPED by the ROOMBA. She FACE-PLANTS.
DEADPOOL (O.S.)
(from outside)
Let’s get ready to Rooooooomba!
BLIND AL
(under breath)
Ass-hat.
Al SWINGS her cane angrily, again and again, trying to hit
the robotic vacuum, which moves happily just out of reach.
She reaches her knees and stretches for the door when...
...DEADPOOL SPRINGS it open from outside, SLAMMING it into
her HEAD. Blind Al goes down again.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 63.
39 CONTINUED: 39
DEADPOOL
Morning, roomie!
(sniffs)
This place reeks like old lady pants.
BLIND AL
(still supine)
Yes. I’m old. I wear pants.
DEADPOOL
But you’re no lady.
Blind Al struggles to a sitting position. Deadpool walks
past her in his socks, drops his muddy BOOTS to the floor and
slips into a pair of POWDER-BLUE CROCS parked just inside the
door.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
So comfy.
BLIND AL
Upside of being blind: I’ve never seen
you in Crocs.
DEADPOOL
You mean my big rubber masturbatin’
shoes?
BLIND AL
Yes I know. Downside of being blind: I
hear everything in this duplex.
Deadpool walks bitterly past one wall of the DUPLEX, which is
COVERED - WALL-to-WALL, FLOOR-to-CEILING, with CHRISTMAS
ADVENT CALENDARS.
Tons of ornaments/candies/etc. adorn the calendars. There’s
not ONE CALENDAR left uncovered.
DEADPOOL
One-thousand eight-hundred twenty-two
ornaments pinned to two-hundred-sixty
calendars. All for a ‘Christmas’ that...
never... came!
BLIND AL
Too much naughty, too little nice.
DEADPOOL
Sit on a stick.
DEADPOOL SPLAYS OUT on a white futon, MOANING, nursing his
horrifying wound.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 64.
39 CONTINUED: (2) 39
BLIND AL
Bactine?
DEADPOOL
(dripping sarcasm)
Yeah. Bactine should do it. How’s the
Kullen coming? IKEA doesn’t assemble
itself.
Blind Al sits back on the ratty couch and begins applying the
finishing touches to the shelving unit.
BLIND AL
You’re telling me. I don’t mind the
Kullen. It’s an improvement on the
Hurdal.
DEADPOOL
Anything’s an improvement on the Hurdal.
I’d have taken a Hemnes... or even a
Trysil... over the Hurdal. But I didn’t
get excited ‘til I saw the Kullen.
BLIND AL
Screw please.
DEADPOOL
Here? Now? Just kidding. I know it’s
been decades for you.
BLIND AL
You’d be surprised.
DEADPOOL
And totally grossed out!
Blind Al turns the final screw, beyond unenthusiastic.
BLIND AL
Ta. Dah.
The dresser look like the Leaning Tower of Piza in shitty
particle board. Deadpool TOSSES a DIRTY MAGAZINE on top.
The Kullen COLLAPSES.
BLIND AL (CONT’D)
I wish I’d never heard of Craig’s List.
DEADPOOL
And I quote: ‘Looking for roommate.
Blind to life’s imperfections. Must be
good with hands.’ Or wouldya rather I
build IKEA and you pay rent?
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 65.
39 CONTINUED: (3) 39
BLIND AL
Why such a douche this morning?
DEADPOOL
Let’s recap. That cock-thistle who
turned me into this freak... the one I’ve
been waiting five years for... slipped
through my arms today. Arm.
Deadpool holds up his previously severed arm, which now has
a little tweenage ARM emerging off it. Yes. Deadpool can
GROW BACK LIMBS.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Catching him was my only chance to be hot
again. Get my super-sexy ex back. And
stop the same shit from happening to
anyone else. So yeah, things are pretty
fucking scrumptious.
Deadpool stands. Walks behind the couch, and as he passes
the back of Blind Al’s head... FARTS.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Hash-tag Drive-by.
BLIND AL
(to herself)
I’m gonna find this ‘Craig.’ And I’m
gonna kill him.
DEADPOOL
Once I’ve got the cure, I’m gonna do the
same to Francis...
RS40 INT. WORKSHOP TENT - LATER RS40
WADE, newly scarred, hidden in darkness, continues to GASP as
though being held underwater. Then the lid on the punch-bowl
SLIDES BACK, revealing AJAX. Wade takes deep LUNGS-FUL of
AIR. Ajax leans in for a closer look.
AJAX
Bloody hell. Someone lost his shot at
homecoming king.
WADE
(can barely speak)
What have you done to me?!
AJAX
You give me too much credit. This...
this is the result of your genes.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 66.
RS40 CONTINUED: RS40
AJAX (CONT'D)
The punch bowl merely raised your stress
to trigger the mutation.
WADE
You... sadistic... fuck!
AJAX
Where's the gratitude?! You’re cured!
Your mutated cells can heal anything.
They’re attacking the cancer as fast as
it can form. Your insides are a war
zone. Not to mention your outsides!
Wade looks stunned as he struggles to process all this
information. Ajax smiles down.
AJAX (CONT’D)
I’ve seen similar side-effects before. I
could cure them for you. But really,
where’s the fun in that?
Wade says nothing, hating him but wanting to believe.
AJAX (CONT’D)
I’m going to close this lid again. Maybe
you no longer need it. But I do.
For a long moment, Wade stares intensely at Ajax and sees...
nothing, a black hole of empathy. And he knows this is a man
who will never stop hurting him.
***NOTE: We will not be reshooting the rest of the scene
below with the exception of the final shot.****
So he turns his gaze to the ceiling and WITHDRAWS into
himself... the one place the cruelty can no longer reach him.
Angel Dust enters, chewing on her usual matchstick.
AJAX
He’s all yours.
Angel leans over the Punch-bowl, starts to undo Wade’s
restraints.
ANGEL
You smell like shit.
When Angel Dust leans close to Wade’s head he suddenly comes
alive and uses the strength he has left to HEAD-BUTT her in
the FOREHEAD.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 67.
CONTINUED:
AJAX
(impressed)
Whoa.
Angel advances toward Wade. Ajax stops her.
AJAX (CONT’D)
Hey, hey, alright. It’s alright. I
think he earned that one, yeah? You take
off. Go on... off you go.
As Angel Dust EXITS the tent, she reaches to her mouth for
her matchstick... only it’s not there. She frowns, fishes
another match from her pocket, and tucks it between her lips.
Ajax finishes strapping Wade back down and goes to close the
lid.
AJAX (CONT’D)
One question. What’s my name?
Wade remains listless, mouth SHUT. BLINKS.
AJAX (CONT’D)
Didn’t think so.
Ajax CLOSES and LOCKS the lid. HISS. The oxygen DIALS FALL.
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
Sorry, Francis. But my lips are sealed.
And then we’re inside the punch bowl with Wade as the oxygen
levels drop and the suffering rises. Through a fog of misery
Wade sees Ajax staring down, watching him, drinking in his
pain.
Ratings
Scene 25 - Mutant Gene Activation and a Fiery Escape
Back in the Punch-Bowl, Wade OPENS his MOUTH... within which
he was HIDING a SINGLE MATCHSTICK, clenched carefully - dryly
- between his teeth.
He inhales... then SPITS OUT the match into his waiting PALM.
Finally, he STRIKES it against the side of the Punch Bowl.
Wade aims the now FLAMING match toward the tiny HOLE through
which OXYGEN flows. The match is quickly burning down. Will
it reach the hole before it snuffs out?
At the last possible moment...
...the flame COMBUSTS the stream of oxygen, IGNITING it...
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 68.
41 CONTINUED: 41
...back through the TRANSPARENT PLASTIC TUBE that trails
outside the Punch-Bowl.
The flame SNAKES through the tube, this way and that, until
it reaches the OXYGEN TANK standing next to the Punch-Bowl.
A beat. Then the TANK EXPLODES.
The BLOWS APART. The hospital bed SNAPS in TWO.
Out in the ward, the FIREBALL curls outward, spreading from
TENT to TENT. BOOM! BOOM! Other flammable tanks DETONATE.
The tents GO UP like ROMAN CANDLES. It’s now MASS CHAOS.
ALARMS BLARE. Flames LEAP. Smoke BILLOWS. Patients FLEE.
A CURTAIN of FIRE suddenly DISPERSES, replaced by billowy
WHITE SMOKE from an OVER-SIZED CHROME FIRE EXTINGUISHER...
...held by AJAX, who STRIDES grimly toward Wade’s tent. He
throws back the burning fabric...
...and nearly EATS an OXYGEN TANK. He BLOCKS it at the last
moment with his FIRE EXTINGUISHER. CLANG.
On the other end of the oxygen tank, WIND-MILLING it with
unbridled FEROCITY, is WADE.
WADE and AJAX SWING the oxygen tank and fire extinguisher
like modern day CLUBS, trying to take off each other’s heads.
CLANG! BANG! BAM! The tanks COLLIDE in mid-air.
Ajax’s fingers CRUNCH between metal. He doesn’t even feel
it.
Wade grabs the HOSE of Ajax’s fire extinguisher, angles it
up, and gets his finger on the TRIGGER.
The extinguisher BLASTS. Ajax is momentarily BLINDED.
Wade brings the oxygen tank down like a LUMBERJACK’S AXE.
Ajax BLOCKS it, but is driven to his KNEES.
Wade’s eyes are lit with fire. DOWN the tank COMES, again
and AGAIN. Ajax takes his own fire extinguisher to the CHIN.
Then catches a BLOW from the oxygen TANK to his TEMPLE.
The extinguisher goes FLYING. Wade swings the OXYGEN TANK
AGAIN, but against all odds, AJAX CATCHES it and SLAMS it
back into Wade’s NOSE. CRUNCH.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 69.
41 CONTINUED: (2) 41
Ajax rises to his feet, and the two grip OPPOSITE SIDES of
the OXYGEN TANK, GRAPPLING with every ounce of strength.
Wade sweeps Ajax’s feet and he topples over backwards, Wade
on top of him. Wade lifts the heavy tank and slams it into
his face. Once. Twice. Three times. CRACK.
As he’s about to finish the job Ajax smiles, blood bubbling
from his smashed lips.
AJAX
You can’t kill me, Wade. I’m the only
one who can fix that ugly mug.
Wade looks torn as his rage gives way to something like hope.
He tosses the tank away.
WADE
Then time to make me me again.
A scream of terror behind Wade makes Wade turn.
CUNNINGHAM (O.S.)
Wade! Help! Wade!
Wade looks through the smoke and flame and spies a helpless
Cunningham lying in the flaming wreckage.
WADE
Fuck!
Wade drops Ajax and SPRINTS to Cunningham, starts dragging at
the WRECKAGE trapping him, when... SLICE! A long piece of
sheared REBAR THRUSTS CLEAN THROUGH his CHEST from BEHIND.
The force sends the spear DEEP into the wooden floor beams,
pinning Wade like an insect in an entomologist’s display.
In a grand display of strength, AJAX BENDS the end of the
rebar to keep Wade pinned... then walks around and squats
down into Wade’s eye line, wearing a triumphant sneer.
AJAX
Say it. ‘Francis.’
Blood dribbles from Wade’s mouth as he tries in vain to push
himself off the bloody spike of metal. Ajax rises, scans the
burning workshop with a scowl - clearly a lost cause - and
turns to leave.
Cunningham screams again as the flames near him. Grunting
with the pain and effort Wade tries to push himself off the
spike.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 70.
41 CONTINUED: (3) 41
His hands slip on the blood-slick metal, and he cannot free
himself. His VOLTRON RING lies on the floor next to him.
Wade and Cunningham share a last look. Cunningham clamps his
jaws shut, fighting the agony.
CREAK... CRACKLE... the ROOF COLLAPSES, BURYING BOTH OF THEM.
And we... CUT TO BLACK.
FADE UP ON:
Ratings
Scene 26 - Escape from Torture
Morning’s first sunlight. WADE’s VOLTRON RING lies
COMPLETELY MELTED in the DEBRIS. The camera follows it to
Wade’s hand... then up his arm to his FACE.
WADE’s eyelids flutter, and he COMES TO. He is naked, his
hospital gown burned away. We see BLACKENED SLUDGE, SOOT,
charred remains. The melted and scorched metal rod next to
him.
Wade slowly realizes where he is and what happened. He
reaches down to his stomach wound... WHICH HAS MIRACULOUSLY
HEALED. Wade sits up, stunned.
DEADPOOL (V.O.)
I didn’t just get the cure to El Cáncer.
I got the cure to everything.
V43 EXT. CITY STREET - MORNING - PAST V43
VANESSA, tired, broken, mind seemingly elsewhere, walks
towards her apartment. She passes a loving young COUPLE, arm-
in-arm.
Vanessa clocks this sadly, continues on.
Behind her, PEOPLE walk to and fro. Among them, we REVEAL:
WADE, dressed in ill-fitting pants and a hoodie. He is a
TRAIN-WRECK, scarred face on display to the world for the
first time.
He looks purposeful, but tentative, walking behind Vanessa,
GAINING on her.
ANGLE ON: WADE’s P.O.V.
A BOY goes by on his bike, trying hard not to gape. A
TODDLER in a STROLLER looks up and BURSTS INTO TEARS. The
toddler’s MOTHER hustles past.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 71.
V43 CONTINUED: V43
MOTHER
Alex, don’t stare.
VANESSA stops and rifles through her purse for keys.
STILL on Wade’s P.O.V. Wade stops, too, suddenly paralyzed,
as the moment to face Vanessa arrives.
As he hesitates, torn with anguish, the WHISPERS seem to
grow, rising in volume until they become deafening:
WHISPER 2 (O.S.)
Oh, my, god, that is so fucking gnarly.
WHISPER 3 (O.S.)
I just lost my appetite.
Wade spins, trying to see where the voices are coming from.
Nowhere... everywhere. The WHISPERS crescendo, now more in
Wade’s mind than in reality.
He turns back to Vanessa, his face a mask of fear and pain...
just as she disappears into her apartment building. The
closing glass door reveals his own HIDEOUS REFLECTION STARING
BACK AT HIM.
DEADPOOL
In the whole wide world, there’s nothing
as ugly...
(beat)
...as fear.
He gives up on his mission, backing away from his reflection,
Vanessa, his old life. He stumbles off the curb and into the
street, when... BAM!
He is CRUSHED OUT OF FRAME by a SPEEDING BUS.
SMASH CUT TO
BLACK.
FADE UP ON:
A43 INT. MORGUE - NIGHT A43
THREE BODY BAGS lie on SLABS in a MORGUE.
Without warning, the MIDDLE bag SITS UP STRAIGHT at the
WAIST...
...then tries to CATERPILLAR its way to the edge of its
slab...
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 72.
A43 CONTINUED: A43
...but instead pitches off the slab - CRUNCH - FACE-FIRST
onto the floor.
WADE (O.S.)
Ow.
B44 INT. DEADPOOL’S LAIR - NIGHT B44
An FBI-STYLE ‘ORGANIZATIONAL CHART’ has been pinned on Wade’s
CORKBOARD in the lair. A ‘pyramid’ of baddies are linked by
strings. Each baddie is depicted not by a photograph, but a
child-like CRAYON DRAWING.
Second from the top is the RECRUITER.
At the APEX of the pyramid is AJAX HIMSELF.
DEADPOOL, in his LAIR, sews together an early ‘proto-
costume.’
We see quick cuts of pieces of it going on:
White Adidas track suit. White gloves. White boots. And
some sort of white mask...
A single gun, underarm holster, boot knife but no swords.
VC44 INT. POOL HALL - NIGHT VC44
DEADPOOL
Don’t make me ask twice. Where’s
Francis?!
DEADPOOL questions a bleeding thug, more bodies scattered
across a floor littered with broken furniture behind him.
Another thug rushes in and smashes a pool cue over Deadpool’s
skull. Deadpool snatches the broken shaft of wood and PUNCHES
it into the thugs belly.
A third thug staggers to his feet, pulls a pistol, fires
multiple shots point blank. Deadpool staggers back, blood
blossoming across his white suit.
“CLICK”
The thug stares in disbelief that Deadpool’s still standing.
Deadpool looks down at the shaft of wood in his hand.
Thinks.
(CONTINUED)
Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 73.
VC44 CONTINUED: VC44
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I said, where’s... fucking... FR-
(realizes)
You made me ask twice.
Deadpool spins the bloody cue with inhuman dexterity and
starts towards the terrified thug, accidentally knocking over
a PITCHER of BLOODY MARY onto his already bloody stained
suit.
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Fuck. Me.
D44 INT. LAUNDROMAT - DAY D44