12 Monkeys

Executive Summary

Poster
Overview

Genres: Thriller, Drama, Sci-Fi, Science Fiction, Psychological Thriller, Mystery, Action, Dystopian, Psychological Drama, War, Romance

Setting: Present and past (1995)., United States (primarily Philadelphia and Baltimore).

Overview: After witnessing a murder as a child, James Cole is recruited by a group of scientists from the future to travel back in time and prevent a deadly virus from wiping out humanity. Along the way, he meets Dr. Kathryn Railly, a psychiatrist who helps him to understand his mission and the importance of his choices. As Cole travels through time, he grapples with his own mental health and the moral implications of altering the past.

Themes: Time Travel and its Consequences, The Nature of Reality and Identity, The Importance of Memory, The Dangers of Technology, The Power of Love

Conflict and Stakes: The conflict between Cole's desire to prevent the virus and the skepticism of the scientists, and the stakes are the survival of humanity.

Comparable Scripts:

  • 12 Monkeys (1995)
  • La Jetée (1962)
  • The Matrix (1999)
  • Children of Men (2006)
  • Looper (2012)
  • Blade Runner (1982)

Writing Style:

The screenplay exhibits a comprehensive and consistent writing style across all scenes, characterized by its complexity, depth, and nuanced exploration of themes and characters. The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and often philosophical, driving the narrative forward while revealing the inner conflicts and motivations of the characters. The scenes are crafted with precision, balancing action, suspense, and introspection to create a compelling and immersive experience for the reader.

Style Similarities:

  • Christopher Nolan
  • David Fincher
  • Charlie Kaufman
  • Quentin Tarantino
Other Similarities
Pass/Consider/Recommend

Recommend


Explanation: The screenplay for '12 Monkeys' is a well-crafted and thought-provoking exploration of time travel, mental illness, and apocalyptic visions. The central conflict between the protagonist, Cole, and the scientists who have sent him back in time is compellingly portrayed, with strong character development and a visually striking blend of past, present, and future. While some pacing issues and a lack of depth in certain supporting characters could be addressed, the screenplay's overall strengths, including its cerebral themes, effective use of classic films, and suspenseful climax, make it a compelling work that is worthy of consideration for production.


USP: "This gripping screenplay captivates with an unparalleled blend of dystopian mystery, intricate character dynamics, and provocative themes. Experience a thrilling odyssey that delves into the depths of the human psyche, unraveling a web of deception, redemption, and the poignant search for purpose in a world on the brink of collapse. Its innovative storytelling techniques, distinctively flawed characters, and thought-provoking narrative will resonate deeply, leaving a lasting impact long after the final scene."
Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$50-70 million

Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 18-49, fans of science fiction and thrillers.

Marketability: The screenplay has a strong cast, a unique and timely concept, and a lot of action and suspense.

The screenplay may be too complex for some audiences.

The screenplay has a strong cast, but the story may be too slow-paced for some audiences.

Profit Potential: High, due to the strong cast and unique concept.

Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by vivid sensory descriptions, atmospheric details, and a focus on internal thoughts and emotions. The writing style is immersive and engaging, drawing the reader into the characters' world and emotional experiences.

Best representation: Scene 12 - Dr. Railly's Lecture on Madness and Apocalyptic Visions. Scene 12 is the best representation of the writer's voice because it effectively combines vivid sensory descriptions, atmospheric details, and a focus on internal thoughts and emotions. The scene immerses the reader in the protagonist's psychological state, creating a powerful and emotionally resonant experience.

Memorable Lines:

  • Cole: Three billion people died in 1995. Three billion, got that? Almost the whole population. Of the world! Only about one percent survived. (Scene 6)
  • Cole: YOU DON'T EXIST, YOU SILLY BOZOS! YOU'RE NOT REAL! HA HA HA! PEOPLE DON'T TRAVEL IN TIME! YOU AREN'T HERE. MADE YOU UP! YOU CAN'T TRICK ME! YOU'RE IN MY MIND! I'M INSANE AND YOU'RE MY INSANITY! (Scene 28)
  • Cole: I love this world! (Scene 26)
  • Cole: I love you, Kathryn. Remember that. (Scene 40)
  • Cole: This is the present. This is not the past. This is not the future. This is right now! (Scene 39)
Characters

Cole:A young man who is sent back in time to prevent a deadly virus from wiping out humanity.

Dr. Kathryn Railly:A psychiatrist who helps Cole and believes his claims about the future.

Dr. Fletcher:A scientist who is skeptical of Cole's claims and believes he is mentally ill.

Jeffrey:A mental patient who claims to be from outer space and helps Cole escape from the hospital.

Story Shape
Summary In a post-apocalyptic world, Cole, an adult inmate, volunteers to collect specimens and faces dangerous challenges. He encounters Dr. Railly, a psychiatrist who tries to help him but faces resistance. As Cole struggles with his mission and perception of reality, he is pursued by authorities and faces threats from the Army of the Twelve Monkeys. Amidst chaos and uncertainty, Cole and Railly form a bond and try to navigate a world full of mysteries and dangers.


Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The plot and story of the screenplay are well-structured and engaging, with a strong central conflict and compelling characters. The screenplay effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a satisfying and impactful climax. The exploration of themes such as mental illness, time travel, and the search for redemption adds depth to the story. The script also features several memorable scenes, including the protagonist's initial encounter with the mysterious scientists, the interrogation at the mental institution, and the thrilling escape from the hospital. However, the screenplay could benefit from a more streamlined and focused plot, as some of the subplots and character arcs feel underdeveloped and could be further integrated into the main narrative. Additionally, the ending, while satisfying, could be expanded to provide a more nuanced and emotionally resonant conclusion.
Suggestions: To improve the plot and story, consider exploring the protagonist's motivations and personal history in more detail, adding depth to their character and making their actions more relatable. Additionally, focus on streamlining the subplots and character arcs, ensuring they contribute directly to the main conflict and resolution. Finally, expand the ending to provide a more nuanced and emotionally resonant conclusion, leaving a lasting impact on the audience.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Beginning The beginning of the screenplay effectively introduces the protagonist, the central conflict, and the mysterious world they find themselves in. The opening scene, depicting the protagonist witnessing a violent event, is particularly strong, creating a sense of intrigue and urgency. The subsequent scenes, where the protagonist is interrogated and tested, build tension and suspense, leaving the audience eager to learn more about the protagonist's mission and the enigmatic organization they are involved with. However, the exposition could be streamlined to provide a clearer understanding of the protagonist's motivations and the stakes involved.
Suggestions: To improve the beginning of the screenplay, consider expanding the opening scene to provide more context and background on the protagonist and the world they inhabit. Additionally, streamline the exposition, ensuring that the necessary information is conveyed clearly and concisely without overwhelming the audience. Finally, strengthen the character arc of the protagonist by hinting at their personal motivations and struggles, making them more relatable and engaging from the outset.
Middle The middle part of the screenplay maintains the tension and suspense established in the beginning, as the protagonist navigates a series of challenges and obstacles. The introduction of new characters and the exploration of the protagonist's mental state add depth and complexity to the story. However, the pacing could be tightened, and some of the subplots could be streamlined to enhance the overall flow and focus of the narrative. Additionally, the protagonist's internal struggles could be explored in more detail, providing a deeper understanding of their motivations and emotional journey.
Suggestions: To improve the middle part of the screenplay, consider tightening the pacing and streamlining the subplots, ensuring they contribute directly to the main conflict and resolution. Additionally, explore the protagonist's internal struggles in more detail, providing a deeper understanding of their motivations and emotional journey. Finally, introduce new characters and elements strategically, ensuring they enhance the story without overwhelming the audience.
Ending The ending of the screenplay provides a satisfying resolution to the central conflict, while leaving room for contemplation and interpretation. The protagonist's transformation and the revelation of the true nature of their mission add depth and emotional resonance to the conclusion. However, the ending could be expanded to provide a more nuanced and emotionally resonant conclusion, leaving a lasting impact on the audience.
Suggestions: To improve the ending of the screenplay, consider expanding the protagonist's transformation and exploring the emotional impact of their journey in more detail. Additionally, provide a more nuanced resolution to the central conflict, leaving room for interpretation and contemplation. Finally, introduce new elements or twists in the ending to add depth and complexity to the conclusion.

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

1 - Cole's Journey Suspenseful, Mysterious, Eerie, Dramatic 8 9 89 7 787888987 69988
2 - Cole's Interrogation and Decision Grim, Mysterious, Intense 8 9 89 7 787789887 89888
3 - Interruption and Examination Mysterious, Intense, Suspenseful 8 8 79 8 787.5887887 998.588.5
4 - Confronting the Past Mysterious, Intense, Confused, Intriguing 8 8 79 8 787776887 99888
5 - Arrival at the Mental Institution Suspenseful, Dark, Satirical, Cynical 8 8 79 8 787777887 99888
6 - Confrontation in the Psych Ward Suspenseful, Dramatic, Mysterious 8 9 89 7 787988887 99888
7 - Confusion and Agitation in the Hospital Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intense, Dark 8 8 79 8 787787887 79888
8 - The Escape Plan Dark, Suspenseful, Confused, Agitated 8 8 79 9 787988898 89888
9 - Cole's Violent Outburst and Confrontation in the Hospital null 0 0 08 0 087080080 09988
10 - Disappearance and Confrontation Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intriguing, Intense 8 9 89 7 887988987 89888
11 - Cole's Interrogation Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intriguing, Dark 8 8 89 7 687777887 79888
12 - Cole's World War I Vision Tense, Confused, Suspenseful, Chaotic, Mysterious 8 9 89 7 787989998 79888
13 - Dr. Railly's Lecture on Madness and Apocalyptic Visions Foreboding, Mysterious, Intellectual, Tense 8 9 89 7 697777877 88888
14 - Kidnapping of Dr. Railly Tense, Suspenseful, Fearful, Intense 9 8 99 8 898989989 89999
15 - En Route to Philadelphia Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intense, Confused, Hopeful 8 8 89 8 787888888 79888
16 - The Boy in the Well Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intense, Emotional 8 8 89 7 787979988 79888
17 - Skid Row Stencils Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intense, Paranoid 8 8 79 8 787887886 79888
18 - Ambush in the Alley Intense, Suspenseful, Dark, Violent 8 8 88 9 887989988 79999
19 - Confrontation at Animal Rights Office Tense, Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intense 8 8 89 7 789988987 79888
20 - Interrogation in the Basement Suspenseful, Intense, Mysterious, Tense 8 8 89 7 689989887 79888
21 - The Rescuers Tense, Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intense, Emotional 8 8 89 8 787.5989888 79888
22 - Confrontation at the Gas Station Tense, Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic 8 8 89 9 887989988 79888
23 - Cole and Jeffrey Reunite Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intense, Dark 8 8 89 7 787878987 79888
24 - Hallway Confrontation Suspenseful, Intense, Confrontational, Paranoid 8 8 99 8 787988978 99888
25 - Cole's Daring Escape Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 8 8 89 7 689989987 69999
26 - Reunion in the Woods Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Reflective 8 8 89 9 887887889 79888
27 - Interrogation and Revelations Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Mysterious 8 8 79 8 787.5988898 79888
28 - Cole's Confused Awakening Confusion, Hysteria, Suspense, Dramatic 8 9 89 7 887988988 79888
29 - Interrogation and Inner Conflict Intense, Suspenseful, Emotional 9 9 99 9 887989989 89888
30 - Unveiling the Past: Antique Bullet and a Soldier's Secret Suspenseful, Intriguing, Mysterious, Intense 9 9 89 9 887.5988998 898.588
31 - The Monkey Army Suspenseful, Intense, Mysterious, Dramatic 8 8 99 7 787879987 89888
32 - Chaos at the FAA Store Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Mysterious 8 8 79 8 887979887 79888
33 - Amidst Chaos: Jeffrey's Sanity Unravels Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Confrontational 9 8 99 9 887989988 89888
34 - Escape from the Hotel Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Action-packed 9 8 99 8 898989988 89988
35 - Confrontation and Disguise Intense, Suspenseful, Confrontational 8 8 89 9 889989998 89888
36 - Contemplation at the Movies Melancholy, Confusion, Tension, Hope 8 8 79 9 887777879 99888
37 - Encounter at the Zoo Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intense, Emotional 8 8 79 9 887877889 89888
38 - Passionate Interlude Amidst Urban Chaos Tense, Romantic, Mysterious, Hopeful 8 8 79 8 787.5988888 79888
39 - Echoes of the Past at the Airport Terminal Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intense, Desperate 8 8 98 8 887.5989997 798.588
40 - Airport Confrontation Suspenseful, Paranoid, Intense, Emotional 8 8 99 8 787.5989998 798.58.58
41 - Confrontation and Suspicions at Airport Security Intense, Suspenseful, Emotional 8 8 89 7 789999988 79999
42 - Airport Departures Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intense, Emotional 8 8 98 8 787979978 79888


Scene 1 - Cole's Journey
INT. CONCOURSE/AIRPORT TERMINAL - BAY

CLOSE ON A FACE. A nine year old boy, YOUNG COLE, his eyes wide
with wonder. watching something intently. We HEAR the sounds of
the P.A. SYSTEM droning Flight Information mingled with the
sounds of urgent SHOUTS, running FEET, EXCLAMATIONS.

YOUNG COLE'S POV: twenty yards away, a BLONDE MAN is sprawled on
the floor, blood oozing from his gaudy Hawaiian shirt.

A BRUNETTE in a tight dress, her face obscured from YOUNG COLE'S
view, rushes to the injured man, kneels beside him, ministering
to his wound.

ANGLE ON YOUNG COLE, flanked by his PARENTS, their faces out of
view, as they steer him away.

FATHER'S VOICE (o.s.)
Come on, Son --this is no place for us.

YOUNG COLE resists momentarily, mesmerized by the drama.

YOUNG COLE'S POV: intermittently visible through a confusion of
FIGURES rushing through the foreground, the BLONDE MAN reaching
up and touching the cheek of the kneeling BRUNETTE in a gesture
of enormous tenderness, a gesture of farewell, while the P.A.
SYSTEM continues its monotonous monotone...
P.A. SYSTEM
Flight 784 for San Francisco is now
ready for boarding at inmate number
66578, Greely.

INT. PRISON DORMITORY/FUTURE - ETERNAL NIGHT

PRISON P.A. SYSTEM
--number 5429, Garcia -- number 87645, Cole...

COLE, late thirties, dark hair, comes awake in a bunk cage, one
of many stacked four high along both sides of a long dim
corridor. He blinks in the near dark, shaken, disoriented.

Then, as he "recovers" from his very vivid dream, WE GET OUR
FIRST LOOK AT HIS ENVIRONMENT...A WINDOWLESS UNDERGROUND WORLD OF
ETERNAL NIGHT SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE...AN ALMOST COLORLESS
"REALITY" OF BLURRED EDGES AND ECHOEY SOUNDS, MUCH MORE
"DREAMLIKE" THAN HIS DREAM.

Flashlights glare. In the half-light, COLE sees spooky figures,
GUARDS, moving among the locked bunk/cages.

COLE turns and whispers to the occupant of the next cage, JOSE...

COLE
Ssssst! Jose, what's going on?

JOSE's face is almost lost in shadow. What there is of it is
youthful. He's just a scared Puerto Rican kid!

JOSE
"Volunteers" again.

JOSE immediately rolls over and feigns sleep as SCARFACE, a
menacing guard with a jagged scar running down his cheek, looms
close to COLE's cage and unlocks it.

SCARFACE
"Volunteer duty".

The PRISONERS in the other cages watch silently with narrowed eyes.

COLE
I didn't volunteer.

SCARFACE
You causing trouble again?

COLE
(controls his temper)
No trouble.

INT. EQUIPMENT ROOM - ETERNAL NIGHT

COLE's alone, struggling to get into what looks like a space suit
in a room where suits hang like ghosts with blank eyes.




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TITLES BEGIN SUPERED OVER THE SCENE

COLE has the torso of the suit on now and is trying to close it.

OFFSCREEN VOICE (o.s.)
All openings must be closed.

COLE looks for the source of the voice, a tiny grate in the wall.

OFFSCREEN VOICE (o.s.)
If the integrity of the suit is compromised
in any way, if the fabric is torn or a zipper
not closed, readmittance will be denied.

INT. SEALED CHAMBER - MINUTES LATER (ETERNAL NIGHT)

COLE, wearing the "space suit" and a helmet with a plastic visor,
steps into a tiny chamber, a kind of air lock. The heavy door
clangs shut behind him. He's alone. COLE'S breath comes quicker
now as he sucks oxygen from the air tanks on his back.

On the opposite wall is another door with a huge wheel lock.
COLE turns the heavy wheel, opens the door, steps through It

INT. ELEVATOR - SECONDS LATER (ETERNAL NIGHT)

COLE'S in an ascending elevator that groans and creaks. He looks
down at a crudely drawn map he holds in his gloved hand.

The map shows a series of tunnels and ladders.

INT. SEWER PIPE - MINUTES LATER (NIGHT)

COLE pans a flashlight, probing the filthy sewer he's wading through

RATS flee the blade of light, scurry across islands of rusting junk.

The flashlight beam settles on a ladder mounted in the wall.

Reaching the rusted ladder, COLE starts to climb awkwardly.

EXT. CITY STREET/FUTURE - MOMENTS LATER (NIGHT)

A SCRAPING NOISE as a heavy man-hole cover is pushed up and moved
aside. COLE'S helmeted head emerges from below.

COLE'S POV THROUGH HIS PLASTIC-VISORED HELMET: a city in
moonlight! A surreal image of abandoned buildings. No people
anywhere. The only sounds are the WIND and COLE'S BREATHING.

EXT. ANOTHER CITY STREET - MINUTES LATER (NIGHT)

COLE'S light reveals abandoned vine-covered automobiles.

Moving to the nearest car, COLE searches in the vines for
something. Finds it. An insect.




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COLE takes the bug in his gloved hand. As he clumsily inserts it
into a collection tube, something makes him turn.

There's something across the street in the dark. Something alive.

COLE points his flashlight and reveals...a BEAR! Startled by the
light, the animal blinks, then stands on its rear legs and ROARS.

ANGLE ON COLE, staring wide-eyed.

Then, the BEAR sinks down onto all fours and, trying to avoid the
flashlight, it pads quickly down the street.

INT. SUBTERRANEAN PARKING GARAGE - NIGHT

Using the flashlight to see, COLE reaches down to the cracked
floor and gets another specimen. DOGSHIT!

The only sound is COLE'S labored BREATHING.

Then, a different SOUND. GRRRR! A dog. More GRRRRS. More
dogs. Then, a YIP. Then, VICIOUS GROWLS. It's a DOGFIGHT!

EXT. STREET - NIGHT (FIRST LIGHT)

A giant OWL, perched on an overhead traffic light, raises its wings
and lifts off...rising higher and higher into the brightening sky.

Below, on the street, COLE trudges along, passing deserted
buildings, windows broken, rusted signs dangling.

INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - NIGHT (FIRST LIGHT)

COLE'S light reveals a spider web just inside the store. A large
SPIDER tries to hide from the light.

COLE reaches carefully into the web and plucks the spider and
puts it into one of his specimen tubes.

Then, he shines his light all around the once elegant store. There's
nothing but aisle after aisle of moldering consumer goods.

EXT. DEPARTMENT STORE - DAWN

As COLE comes out of the store, the first rays of the sun hit the
building. COLE stops, squints into the light through his visor.

COLE'S POV: spray-painted on the wall a long time ago is a stenciled
logo of twelve monkeys holding hands in a circle. Over it is
written, "WE DID IT!"

COLE looks up.

COLE'S POV: high up on a building across the street, a LION
patrols a ledge, pauses, looks out majestically over his world.




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TTTLES END
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a post-apocalyptic world, Cole, an adult inmate, volunteers for a mission to collect specimens. He encounters dangerous animals, navigates a desolate environment, and confronts the emotional weight of his past. The scene ends with Cole gazing at a lion patrolling a building, hinting at the challenges and mysteries that lie ahead.
Strengths
  • Intriguing concept
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • Engaging plot development
  • Mysterious setting
Weaknesses
  • Limited depth in dialogue
  • Some cliched elements in the setting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively sets up a mysterious and suspenseful tone, introduces intriguing elements of the story, and engages the audience with its unique setting and plot development.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a future underground world, a prison escape mission, and encounters with animals in an abandoned city is innovative and captivating. The scene effectively establishes the world and the stakes of the story.

Plot: 8

The plot unfolds with tension and intrigue, introducing the main character's mission and the challenges he faces in the underground world. The scene sets up the central conflict and raises questions that drive the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original take on dystopian themes, blending elements of mystery, drama, and social commentary. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and compelling, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are introduced in a compelling way, with hints of their personalities and motivations. The main character, Cole, is shown to be resourceful and determined, setting up his journey in the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Cole undergoes a significant change as he navigates the challenges of the underground world and confronts the unknown. His determination and resourcefulness are tested, leading to character growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

Young Cole's internal goal is to understand the dramatic scene unfolding before him and to process the emotions it evokes. This reflects his curiosity, empathy, and desire to make sense of the world around him.

External Goal: 7

Cole's external goal is to navigate the dangerous and oppressive environment of the prison dormitory and equipment room. He must comply with the guards' orders and complete his 'volunteer duty' despite his reluctance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, from Cole's struggle to escape the prison to the dangers he faces in the abandoned city. The escalating conflicts drive the tension and suspense of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Cole facing internal doubts, external threats, and conflicting motivations. The audience is kept guessing about the outcome, adding to the scene's tension and drama.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for Cole as he embarks on a dangerous mission to escape the prison and navigate the unknown world above. The risks and challenges he faces add tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by establishing the main character's mission, introducing key elements of the plot, and setting up future conflicts and challenges. It propels the narrative and keeps the audience engaged.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its unexpected twists, dramatic reveals, and ambiguous character motivations. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The scene presents a conflict between freedom and confinement, as Cole is trapped in a prison-like environment with limited agency and autonomy. This challenges his beliefs about justice, control, and individual rights.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from fear and loneliness to curiosity and hopelessness. The character's predicament and the eerie atmosphere contribute to the emotional impact of the scene.

Dialogue: 6

The dialogue serves the purpose of advancing the plot and revealing information about the characters. While it is functional, there is room for more depth and nuance in the interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its compelling characters, atmospheric setting, and intriguing plot developments. The sense of mystery and tension keeps the audience invested in Cole's journey.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, with a gradual build-up of tension, suspenseful moments, and a climactic reveal. The rhythm of the scene enhances its emotional impact and narrative effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue. The visual and auditory elements are well integrated, enhancing the reader's immersion in the story.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment of revelation. The pacing and rhythm enhance the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a vivid and engaging flashback of Young Cole witnessing a shooting at an airport, which sets up the character's traumatic past and adds depth to his present situation as an adult inmate.
  • The transition from the flashback to the present is well executed, showing the stark contrast between Young Cole's innocence and the bleak, colorless future he now inhabits.
  • The use of sensory details like sound, visuals, and atmosphere effectively creates a dystopian setting, immersing the audience in the underground world Cole now navigates.
  • The introduction of various obstacles and encounters, such as the bear, dogs, spider, and owl, adds tension and intrigue to the scene, showcasing the dangers and challenges Cole faces in this post-apocalyptic world.
  • The symbolic imagery of the twelve monkeys holding hands with the words 'WE DID IT!' spray-painted on a wall hints at a larger mystery or conspiracy, piquing the audience's curiosity and setting up future plot developments.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or dialogue from Cole to provide insight into his thoughts, emotions, and motivations as he navigates this desolate world.
  • Explore the theme of survival and resilience further by showcasing Cole's resourcefulness and adaptability in overcoming the obstacles he encounters.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the abandoned cityscape and decaying environment to create a more vivid and immersive setting for the audience.
  • Introduce subtle hints or clues about the larger narrative, such as the significance of the spider or the presence of other survivors in this world, to build intrigue and foreshadow future plot developments.
  • Consider incorporating moments of reflection or introspection from Cole to deepen his character development and provide a glimpse into his inner struggles and conflicts.



Scene 2 - Cole's Interrogation and Decision
INT. FIRST UNDERGROUND DECONTAMINATION CHAMBER - ETERNAL NIGHT

ROARING WATER, powerful torrents gushing from nozzles in the
wall, pummel the still-suited COLE.

INT. SECOND UNDERGROUND DECONTAMINATION CHAMBER - ETERNAL NIGHT

Stark naked and shivering, COLE is being scrubbed with brushes on
long poles (like the ones used to wash cars) wielded by two HULKING
FIGURES in bulky decontamination suits, their personas lost in their
windowed masks. It's a grim scene in a grim cement room with damp,
dripping walls. From an unseen source comes an AMPLIFIED VOICE,

AMPLIFIED VOICE (o.s.)
Raise your arms above your head.

COLE lifts his arms and the FIGURES start scrubbing his armpits.

INT. TINY CHAMBER - SHORTLY (ETERNAL NIGHT)

Still naked, COLE is seated on a stool while a MASKED TECHNICIAN
in a less elaborate, less bulky decontamination outfit draws
blood from COLE'S arm with an old-fashioned hypodermic needle.

COLE glances toward a single, nearly opaque "window" of thick
plastic in the rusty iron wall. VAGUE FIGURES seem to lurk
behind the translucent aperture, studying him.

The TECHNICIAN slips the blood sample through a slot in the wall.

INT. ENGINEERING OFFICE/FUTURE WORLD - ETERNAL NIGHT

Ushered in by two guards, TINY and SCARFACE, COLE looks around.

COLE'S POV: wails hidden by old headlines, articles, maps, charts...
a blackboard covered with elaborate, sophisticated formulae...surfaces
heaped with cracked monitors, gerry-rigged computers held together
with
string, lasers lost in tangles of cable, ancient tube amplifiers, a
dilapidated cardboard reconstruction of a city, stacks of moldering
books and tattered computer printouts...and, seated at a long
conference
table, staring at COLE, six SCIENTISTS: an ASTROPHYSICIST, ENGINEER,
BOTANIST, MICROBIOLOGIST, ZOOLOGIST, and a GEOLOGIST. They represent
a "modern" science where brilliant new ideas interface with crude,
outdated, patched-together technologies.

TINY
James Cole. Cleared from quarantine.

MICROBIOLOGIST
Thank you. You two wait outside.

SCARFACE
He's got a history, Doctor. Violence.




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COLE'S eyes return to the walls.

Headlines: "CLOCK TICKING! NO CURE YET!"

SCARFACE
Anti-social six -- doing 25 to life.

ENGINEER
I don't think he's going to hurt us. You're
not going to hurt us, are you Mr. Cole?

COLE'S head turns quickly to the ENGINEER.

COLE
No, sir.

The GUARDS exchange a look, shrug, exit, closing the door.

MICROBIOLOGIST
Why don't you sit down, Mr. Cole.

COLE goes to the empty chair at the conference table, sits down.

ASTROPHYSICIST
We want you to tell us about last
night.

COLE
I went to the surface and I collected
specimens like I was told.

The SCIENTISTS don't say anything. They just study him carefully.

COLE
(worried)
I mashed the spider, didn't I?

MICROBIOLOGIST
We'll get to the spider later, Mr.
Cole. Right now, we want to know
everything that you saw.

INT. ENGINEERING OFFICE - AN HOUR LATER (ETERNAL NIGHT)

COLE, starting to look very tired now, stands at the blackboard
sketching a detailed map of exactly where he was last night.

ASTPOPHYSICIST
Where you collected sample #4, what
street was that?

COLE
Uh...

BOTANIST
It's important to observe everything.




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COLE
I think it was...I'm sure it was 2nd Street.

As the SCIENTISTS start to whisper animatedly among themselves,
COLE'S eyes drift across the newspaper clippings taped to the
wall. One headline screams, "VIRUS MUTATING!" Another features
a photo of an OLD MAN (DR. MASON, who we'll see again later on)
and the words, SCIENTIST SAYS, "IT'S TOO LATE FOR CURE".

ASTROPHYSICIST'S VOICE (o.s.)
Close your eyes, Cole.

Startled, COLE closes his eyes obediently.

BLACKNESS. Like COLE, WE SEE NOTHING. But we HEAR their VOICES.

ENGINEER'S VOICE (o.s.)
Tell us in detail what you've seen in
this room.

COLE'S VOICE (o.s.)
Uh, in this room? Uh...

MICROBIOLOGIST'S VOICE (o.s.)
How many of us are there?

COLE'S VOICE (o.s.)
Six...seven, if you count me.

ASTROPHYSICIST'S VOICE (o.s.)
Tell us about the pictures on the wall...

COLE'S VOICE (o.s.)
Uh, you mean the newspapers?

A MONTAGE OF OVERLAPPING VOICES (o.s.)
Tell us about the newspapers. Can you
hear my voice? What do I look like?
What does he look like, the man who
just spoke? How old were you when you
left the surface?

The VOICES blur into a cacophony and FADE INTO the droning P.A.
SYSTEM at the airport.

INT. CONCOURSE/AIRPORT - DAY

THE DREAM AGAIN! But at an earlier moment. YOUNG COLE, flanked
by his PARENTS, whose faces are out of view, is watching a PLANE
land through one of the big glass windows that lines the concourse
leading to the departure gates.

P.A. SYSTEM (o.s.)
Flight 784 now boarding at gate...

Suddenly, a SHOUT, followed by raised VOICES, interrupts the




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monotonous airport routine. As YOUNG COLE and his PARENTS turn
to see what's going on, a man we'll call MR. PONYTAIL, his face
averted, hurries past them, bumping YOUNG COLE with a Chicago
Hulls Sports Duffle Bag.

MR. PONYTAIL
WATCH IT!

YOUNG COLE sees little more than the gaudy pants, the duffle, and
the man's ponytail flopping as he rushes towards the gates.

Just then, a WOMAN'S VOICE cries out, "NOOOOOOOOO!"

YOUNG COLE turns back toward the Security Check Point just as
TRAVELERS scatter madly, some diving to the floor, others
running. A TERRIFIED TRAVELER, hitting the floor close by, looks
up at YOUNG COLE with panicky eyes, and asks....

TERRIFIED TRAVELER
Just exactly why did you volunteer?

INT. ENGINEERING OFFICE/FUTURE WORLD - (ETERNAL NIGHT)

COLE comes abruptly awake. Seated now, he's facing the SCIENTISTS.

ASTROPHYSICIST
Wake up, Cole.

COLE
Uh, I didn't hear the...

MICROBIOLOGIST
(tapping a pencil on the table)
I asked you, why did you volunteer?

COLE
Well, the guard woke me up. He told me
I volunteered.

The SCIENTISTS react, whispering urgently among themselves.

COLE starts to nod off again, then comes awake with a start as
the ENGINEER speaks to him.

ENGINEER
We appreciate you volunteering. You're
a very good observer, Cole.

COLE
Uh, thank you.

ENGINEER
You'll get a reduction in sentence.

COLE keeps his face impassive.

ASTROPHYSICIST




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To be determined by the proper authorities.

ENGINEER
You don't want to jeopardize that reduction,
do you, Cole? Have it taken away?

COLE
No, sir!

ASTROPHYSICIST
We have a very advanced program, something
very different, requires very skilled people.

MICROBIOLOGIST
An opportunity to reduce your sentence
considerably...

ZOOLOGIST
And possibly play an important role in
returning the human race to the surface
of the earth.

ENGINEER
We want tough minded people. Strong
mentally. We've had some...misfortunes
with "unstable" types.

ASTROPHYSICIST
For a man in your position...an opportunity.

BOTANIST
Not to volunteer could be a real mistake.

MICROBIOLOGIST
(tapping his pencil again)
Definitely a mistake!

COLE gives away nothing. He's in a box here. He has no choices.
He stares at the tapping pencil.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Dystopian"]

Summary Cole, a prisoner, is decontaminated and interrogated by scientists who seek information about his surface observations. Despite initial reluctance, Cole agrees to join a program that offers a sentence reduction in exchange for his participation.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Intriguing concept
  • Building suspense
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Limited physical description

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively sets a grim and intense tone, introduces intriguing elements, and builds suspense for the upcoming mission. The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the protagonist and the world he inhabits.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a post-apocalyptic world where a select group of individuals are tasked with a dangerous mission is compelling and well-executed. The scene effectively establishes the setting, the stakes, and the role of the protagonist.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as the protagonist undergoes the decontamination process and is introduced to the scientists who offer him a chance to reduce his sentence by participating in a mission. The scene sets up important plot points and raises questions about the protagonist's past.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the dystopian genre by focusing on the protagonist's internal struggles and the complex power dynamics at play. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development