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Scene 1 -  The Shadow of Bane
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
THE DARK KNIGHT RISES
by
Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan


Story by
Christopher Nolan & David S. Goyer




Based upon characters appearing in comic books
published by DC Comics

Batman created by
Bob Kane



Transcribed to PDF from:
"The Dark Knight Trilogy - The
Complete Screenplays"
Published July 2012 by Faber &
Faber Ltd. (UK)

In memory of the victims of
the tragedy in Aurora, CO, on
July 20, 2012.
FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY
T H E D A R K K N I G H T R I S E S
BLACK SCREEN.
GORDON (V.O)
Harvey Dent was needed. He was
everything Gotham has been crying
out for. He was...a hero. Not the
hero we deserved - the hero we
needed. Nothing less than a knight,
shining...

The sound of cracking. Splintering. A shape appears, in ice.
The shape of a BAT. The ice disintegrates...

EXT. GOTHAM STREET - DAY

Gordon stands before a massive picture of Harvey Dent.
GORDON
But I knew Harvey Dent. I was...his
friend. And it will be a very long
time before someone inspires us the
way he did.
Gordon, choked with emotion, gathers the papers of his
eulogy.
I believed in Harvey Dent.
And we FADE TO BLACK.
CUT TO:

Racing along a cratered dirt road, and we are -

INT. LAND CRUISER JOSTLING OVER UNEVEN TERRAIN - DAY
Three Hooded Men guarded by East European Militia. A third
Militia drives. Next to him is a nervous, bespectacled man.

EXT. AIRSTRIP, EASTERN EUROPE - DAY
An airstrip overlooking a grey city rocked by artillery
fire. A bland CIA Operative, flanked by Special Forces Men,
stands in front of a commuter plane. CIA Man watches the
Land Cruiser pull up, hard. The Militia Men jump out of the
vehicle.
The Driver shoves the bespectacled man in front of the CIA
Man.
2.


CIA MAN
Dr. Pavel, I’m CIA.
Dr. Pavel nods, nervous. CIA Man hands the Driver a
briefcase.

DRIVER
He wasn’t alone.
CIA Man, confused, spots the Hooded Men. He turns to Dr.
Pavel.

CIA MAN
You don’t get to bring friends.
DR. PAVEL
(shaken)
They are not my friends.
DRIVER
Don’t worry, no charge for them.
CIA MAN
Why would I want them?
DRIVER
They were trying to grab your
prize. (Smiles.) They work for the
mercenary. The masked man.

CIA MAN
(excited)
Bane?
The Driver nods. CIA Man turns to his Special Forces Men.

CIA MAN
Get ’em on board - I’ll call it in.


EXT. SKIES OVER MOUNTAIN RANGE - DAY
The commuter plane struggles over snow-capped mountains.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Gordon eulogizes Harvey Dent as a hero while the CIA captures Dr. Pavel and uncovers Bane's involvement. The scene transitions to a commuter plane flying over snow-capped mountains, leaving the audience in anticipation.
Strengths
  • Strong introduction of key characters
  • Effective establishment of tone and themes
  • Engaging plot setup
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be a bit exposition-heavy
Critique
  • The scene opens with a eulogy for Harvey Dent, setting a somber tone that transitions abruptly to a land cruiser with hooded men and Dr. Pavel, creating a disjointed narrative flow.
  • The introduction of the CIA operative and the revelation of Bane as a mercenary feel rushed and lack proper buildup or context.
  • The dialogue between the CIA operative and Dr. Pavel lacks depth and complexity, failing to establish a strong sense of tension or intrigue.
  • The transition from the airstrip to the commuter plane over the mountains feels abrupt and disconnected from the previous scenes.
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of purpose or direction, making it challenging for the audience to fully engage with the unfolding events.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition from the eulogy to the introduction of the CIA operative and Bane.
  • Develop the characters of the CIA operative, Dr. Pavel, and Bane more effectively to add depth and complexity to their interactions.
  • Build up the tension and intrigue surrounding Bane's character by foreshadowing his presence and motives earlier in the script.
  • Ensure that each scene serves a clear purpose in advancing the plot and character development to maintain audience engagement.
  • Work on creating a more cohesive narrative flow by establishing stronger connections between the different elements of the scene.



Scene 2 -  Mid-Air Ambush
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS

The three Hooded Men kneel by the cargo door, handcuffed.
CIA Man grabs Hooded Man 1.
CIA MAN
What are you doing in the middle of
my operation?
3.

Hooded Man 1 says nothing. CIA Man pulls out a handgun.
The flight plan I just filed with
the Agency lists me, my men, and
Dr. Pavel here. But only one of
you.
CIA Man opens the cargo door. Special Forces hang Hooded Man
1 out into the howling wind - CIA Man shouts above the wind.

CIA MAN
FIRST ONE TO TALK GETS TO STAY ON
MY AIRCRAFT! (Cocks weapon.)
SO...WHO PAID YOU TO GRAB DR.
PAVEL?!

Nothing. CIA Man fires out the open door and the Special
Forces yank Hooded Man 1 back in, clubbing him quiet.
CIA MAN
HE DIDN’T FLY SO GOOD! WHO WANTS TO
TRY NEXT?!

The Soldiers grab Hooded Man 2, hang him out the door.
CIA MAN
TELL ME ABOUT BANE! WHY DOES HE
WEAR THE MASK?!

The prisoner says nothing. CIA Man presses the gun to the
man’s hood - he cocks the gun...nothing.
CIA MAN
LOT OF LOYALTY FOR A HIRED GUN!

THIRD PRISONER (O.S.)
Or he’s wondering why someone would
shoot a man before throwing him out
of an aeroplane.

CIA Man turns to the Third Prisoner. Shuts the cargo door.
CIA MAN
Wiseguy, huh? At least you can
talk. Who are you?

THIRD PRISONER
We are nothing. We are the dirt
beneath your feet. And no one cared
who I was until I put on the
mask...

CIA Man, wary, approaches the Third Prisoner - pulls off his
hood, revealing a dark mask with a breathing apparatus. The
eyes behind it are cold. Still. This is Bane.
4.


BANE
Who we are does not matter. What
matters is our plan.
CIA MAN
(fascinated)
If I pull this off, will you die?
BANE
It would be extremely painful.

CIA MAN
You’re a big guy -
BANE
For you.

CIA MAN
(unnerved)
Was being caught part of your plan?
BANE
Of course. Dr. Pavel refused our
offer in favor of yours. We had to
know what he told you about us.
DR. PAVEL
Nothing! I said nothing!

CIA MAN
Why not just ask him?
BANE
He would not have told us.

CIA MAN
You have methods.
BANE
Him, I need healthy. You present no
such problem.
CIA Man laughs for the Special Forces’ benefit. A heavy bass
tone is rising. The Sergeant looks out the window.


EXT. SKIES OVER MOUNTAIN RANGE - CONTINUOUS
The commuter plane is dwarfed by a massive transport plane
looming over it, dangerously close...
5.


INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS
The plane lurches. The noise is building.
SERGEANT
Sir?

CIA MAN
Well congratulations, you got
yourselves caught. What’s the next
step of your master plan?

BANE
Crashing this plane...

EXT. MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

The ramp of the transport opens... Four men leap out on
tethers - dropping towards the commuter plane, two each
side...


INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS
The Spacial Forces react to the turbulence from the plane
above. CIA Man looks at Bane.
BANE
(rising)
With no survivors.
A Special Forces soldier spins around - an Armed Man is
outside the window. Bang -


EXT. SKIES OVER MOUNTAIN RANGE - CONTINUOUS
Two men shoot through the windows, the other two attach
grapples to the fuselage - give the thumbs up - hoists start
to pull and the tail of the commuter plane is lifted,
unnaturally.

INT. COCKPIT, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS
The Pilots battle the controls as the plane tilts forward.
6.


INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS
Like lightning, Bane has the CIA Man is his handcuffed arms,
legs wrapped around a seat back, The entire cabin upends.
Tumbling chaos - Soldiers falling - Bane cracks CIA Man’s
neck and drops him onto the Sergeant - they tumble down the
plane, smashing into the cockpit door with a terminal thud.
Dr. Pavel, strapped in, pushes against the seat in front of
him - the plane vibrates, trying to tear itself apart.


EXT. ATLAS MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS
The men climb the tail of the smaller plane as it dangles
helplessly above the mountains. Its wings shear off.


INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS
Bane breaks his handcuffs as if they were plastic, then
opens his legs and drops down the cabin, somersaulting
gracefully and using his arms to stop himself halfway down,
by Dr. Pavel.

EXT. SKIES OVER MOUNTAIN RANGE - CONTINUOUS
The men attach explosives to the tail, then jump away,
swinging out as the tail explodes.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary A CIA agent interrogates three hooded men on a commuter plane. When they don't talk, he throws them out the cargo door and shoots one of them. The third man, revealed to be Bane, reveals their plan to crash the plane. Four men from a larger transport plane attack, and Bane breaks free to attack the CIA agent and sergeant. The plane's tail is blown up, causing it to lose its wings and dangle over mountains.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Tense dialogue
  • Menacing villain introduction
  • High-stakes conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Some cliched dialogue
Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong sense of tension and suspense, which is engaging for the audience. However, the dialogue between CIA Man and Bane feels a bit forced and lacks subtlety in revealing Bane's character and motives.
  • The transition between the interior of the plane and the exterior shots could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The action sequences are well-described, but there is a lot of chaos and movement happening at once, which may be overwhelming for the reader. It's important to balance the action with clear, concise descriptions to ensure clarity.
  • The character of Bane is intriguing, but his dialogue could be more nuanced to add depth to his character and make him more compelling.
  • The climax of the scene, with Bane breaking free and taking control of the situation, is impactful but could be enhanced by building more tension and suspense leading up to that moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the dialogue between CIA Man and Bane to make it more subtle and layered, revealing Bane's character in a more nuanced way.
  • Work on smoother transitions between different locations and action sequences to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • Focus on balancing the chaotic action with clear and concise descriptions to ensure the reader can follow the sequence of events.
  • Develop Bane's character further through his dialogue and actions to make him a more complex and compelling antagonist.
  • Build more tension and suspense leading up to the climax of the scene to enhance the impact of Bane taking control of the situation.



Scene 3 -  Blood for the Body Double: Bane's Chilling Extraction
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS
An explosion takes off the rear door of the cabin - the
Armed Men drop through the smoke on cables.
A body bag is lowered into the cabin. Bane lies it on the
seat backs next to Dr. Pavel and unzips it to reveal a body
the same age and build as Dr. Pavel.

Bane rips Dr. Pavel’s sleeve - pulls out a length of
surgical tubing - pushes a needle into Dr. Pavel’s arm -
runs the tube to the body’s arm... Dr. Pavel watches,
horrified, as Bane starts compressions on the body’s chest,
drawing Dr. Pavel’s blood across the tube and into the
body...

An Armed Man pulls Hooded Man 1 up through the cabin and
out. Bane stops Hooded Man 2.
7.


BANE
Friend. They expect one of us in
the wreckage.
The man nods, unhooks himself, takes Bane’s arm.

HOODED MAN 2
Have we started the fire?
BANE
(nods)
The fire rises.
Hooded Man 2 hands Bane his line. Bane clips it around Dr.
Pavel, takes out a knife and cuts Dr. Pavel’s seat belt. Dr.
Pavel panics, flails. Bane takes his arms. Gentle.

BANE
Calm, Doctor. Now is not time for
fear...
Bane slides Dr. Pavel out of his seat. They hang in the
vertical, windblown cabin. Bane takes out a detonator.

BANE
That comes later.
Bane presses the detonator - the cabin drops from around
them, revealing the terrifying drop to the peaks below. Dr.
Pavel screams as they are hoisted up towards the transport,
and we -
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary As the rear door of a commuter plane explodes, armed men enter and Bane reveals a body identical to Dr. Pavel. He connects it to Pavel's circulatory system, draining his blood. The cabin detaches, leaving Pavel and Bane dangling. Bane cuts Pavel's seat belt, and they're hoisted upwards, their fate uncertain.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • Strong character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Some elements may be too dark or disturbing for some audiences
Critique
  • The scene is intense and visually chaotic, which adds to the suspense and impending danger. However, the transition from the previous scene could be smoother to provide better continuity for the audience.
  • The use of surgical tubing and blood transfusion as a method of deception by Bane is a unique and disturbing twist, adding to the tension and showcasing Bane's ruthless nature. This element could be further emphasized to enhance the impact of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Bane and the Hooded Men adds an intriguing layer of mystery and sets up a sense of anticipation for the audience. However, the dialogue could be more impactful and memorable to leave a lasting impression.
  • The visual description of the cabin dropping away to reveal the mountains below creates a dramatic and visually striking image. This moment could be further enhanced by emphasizing the height and danger of the drop to heighten the tension.
  • Overall, the scene effectively conveys the chaos and danger of the situation, but there is room to deepen the emotional impact and suspense to fully engage the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transition from the previous scene to ensure a seamless flow of events for the audience.
  • Explore ways to amplify the impact of Bane's deception using surgical tubing and blood transfusion to create a more chilling and memorable moment.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Bane and the Hooded Men to make it more impactful and intriguing for the audience.
  • Emphasize the visual description of the cabin dropping away to heighten the sense of danger and suspense for the characters and audience.
  • Work on deepening the emotional impact and suspense of the scene to fully engage the audience and leave a lasting impression.



Scene 4 -  Fundraiser at Wayne Manor
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
EXT. GOTHAM - EVENING
Drifting over the vast city...
MAYOR (V.O.)
Harvey Dent Day may not be our
oldest public holiday...
...moving past the enormous Gotham Bridge...
MAYOR (V.O.)
But we’re here tonight because it’s
one of the most important...
...over the Gotham river to the Palisades on the far side...
8.


MAYOR (V.O.)
Harvey Dent’s uncompromising stand
against organized crime and, yes,
ultimately, his sacrifice, have
made Gotham a safer place than it
was at the time of his death, eight
years ago...
...finding a party in the grounds of Wayne Manor. The Mayor
addresses the wealthy and powerful of Gotham.

MAYOR
This city has seen a historic
turnaround. No city is without
crime. But this city is without
organized crime because the Dent
Act gave law enforcement teeth in
its fight against the mob. Now
people are talking about repealing
the Dent Act. And to them I
say...not on my watch.
Enthusiastic applause as the Mayor wraps up.
I want to thank the Wayne
Foundation for hosting this event.
I’m told Mr. Wayne couldn’t be here
tonight, but I’m sure he’s with us
in spirit...

High above, on a darkened balcony, a lone figure. Watching.
MAYOR (O.S)
Now I’m going to give way to an
important voice...

Down below at the bar, Commissioner Gordon examines some
sheets of densely written paper. A Congressman muscles in.
CONGRESSMAN
Commissioner.

GORDON
Congressman.
CONGRESSMAN
Ever lay eyes on Wayne at one of
these things?
Gordon shakes his head. Gordon’s Deputy Commissioner, Foley,
cuts in.
9.


FOLEY
No one has. Not in years.
MAYOR (O.S)
He can tell you about the bad old
days, when the criminals and
corrupt ran this town with such a
tight grasp that people put their
faith in a murderous thug in a mask
and a cape. A thug who showed his
true nature when he betrayed the
trust of this great man - (Turns to
picture of Dent.) And murdered him
in cold blood.
The Congressman watches a tray of canapés breeze past, then
grabs the ass of the maid carrying them. She freezes.

CONGRESSMAN
Sweetheart, not so fast with the
chow.
MAID
(turns, tight smile)
Shrimp balls?
The Congressman grabs two. The Maid moves off. The
Congressman glances down at Gordon’s papers.

MAYOR (O.S)
Jim Gordon can tell you the truth
about Harvey Dent...
CONGRESSMAN
Jesus, Gordon, is that your speech?
We’re gonna be here all night.
GORDON
Maybe the truth about Harvey isn’t
so simple, Congressman.

MAYOR (O.S)
But I’ll let him tell you himself -
Commissioner Gordon?
Applause. Gordon approaches the mike. Looks down at his long
speech. Thinks.
GORDON
The truth...?
INSERT CUT: Harvey Dent, face half destroyed, threatens
Gordon’s son with a handgun.
10.


Gordon surveys the audience. Deciding.
I have written a speech telling the
truth about Harvey Dent...
Gordon folds up his speech.
Maybe the time isn’t right...
Gordon stuffs the papers inside his jacket. The Congressman
mutters under his breath.
CONGRESSMAN
Thank Christ for that...
GORDON
Maybe right now all you need to
know is that there are a thousand
inmates in Blackgate Prison as a
direct result of the Dent Act.
These are violent criminals,
essential cogs in the organized
crime machine that terrorized
Gotham for so long. Maybe, for now,
all I should say about Harvey
Dent’s death is this...it has not
been for nothing.
The figure on the balcony turns back into the mansion.
People clap as Gordon leaves the mike. Gordon approaches
Foley.

GORDON
The second shift reports in?
FOLEY
On your desk. But you should put in
some more time with the Mayor -
GORDON
That’s your department.

Gordon heads for the line of town cars in the gravel drive.
CONGRESSMAN
Anyone shown him the crime stats?
FOLEY
He goes by his gut, and it
continues to bother him, whatever
the numbers.
CONGRESSMAN
Must be popular with the wife.
11.


FOLEY
Not really. She took the kids and
moved to Cleveland.
CONGRESSMAN
He’ll have plenty of time for
visits. Mayor’s dumping him in the
spring.
FOLEY
Really? He’s a hero.

CONGRESSMAN
War hero. This is peacetime. Stay
smart, the job’s yours.


INT. KITCHENS, WAYNE MANOR - MOMENTS LATER
Our Maid dives into the bustle of Wayne Manor below stairs -
Caterers and Maids, Wait Staff. She overhears another Maid.
MAID 2
They say he never leaves the East
Wing.
MAID 3
I heard he had an accident - that
he’s disfigured.

The other Maids signal her to be quiet. All the chatter has
died. Alfred has entered the kitchen.
ALFRED
Mr. Till, why are your people using
the main stairs?
Alfred places a glass of water on a tray next to a covered
plate. Picks up the tray, looks around the chaotic kitchen.

ALFRED
Where’s Mrs. Bolton?
MAID
She’s up at the bar, sir. Can I
help?

Alfred looks at the Maid. Hands her a key and the tray.
ALFRED
The East drawing room. Unlock the
door, place the tray on the table,
lock the door again. Nothing more.
12.


The Maid nods. Takes the tray.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime","Drama"]

Summary At a fundraiser in Wayne Manor, the Mayor praises Harvey Dent's legacy, while Gordon grapples with revealing the truth about Dent. Meanwhile, a figure watches from a balcony and a Congressman harasses a maid.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Complex characters
  • Tension and suspense
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched elements
  • Slightly predictable plot twists
Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong visual of the vast city of Gotham, setting the tone for the upcoming event at Wayne Manor. However, the transition from the Mayor's voiceover to the party at Wayne Manor could be smoother to avoid abrupt shifts.
  • The dialogue between the Mayor, Gordon, and the Congressman provides insight into the political dynamics of Gotham, but some lines feel a bit on-the-nose and could be more subtly delivered.
  • The character interactions, especially between Gordon and Foley, add depth to the scene, but the pacing could be improved by tightening the dialogue and focusing on key moments.
  • The introduction of the mysterious figure on the balcony adds intrigue, but their presence could be further developed to create more suspense and anticipation.
  • The internal conflict within Gordon about revealing the truth about Harvey Dent is a compelling aspect of the scene, but the resolution feels slightly rushed and could benefit from more emotional depth and impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transitions between different locations to create a more seamless flow in the scene.
  • Work on tightening the dialogue to make it more impactful and engaging for the audience.
  • Further develop the mysterious figure on the balcony to enhance the sense of mystery and suspense in the scene.
  • Explore ways to deepen the emotional conflict within Gordon regarding Harvey Dent's legacy to add more depth to his character arc.
  • Focus on balancing the pacing of the scene to maintain tension and engagement throughout.



Scene 5 -  Thievery at Wayne Manor
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. HALL, WAYNE MANOR - MOMENTS LATER
Following the Maid through the empty house. She comes to the
large oak door to the East Wing. Unlocks it...

INT. DRAWING ROOM, EAST WING, WAYNE MANOR - CONTINUOUS
The room is dark, quiet. The Maid places the tray on the
table. She looks at the inner door opposite. It is ajar...

INT. HALL, WAYNE MANOR - CONTINUOUS

Alfred talks to an elegant woman, thirties, Miranda Tate.
ALFRED
I’m sorry, Miss Tate, but I’ve
tried. He won’t see you.

MIRANDA
It’s important, Mr. Pennyworth.
Her accent is European. Hard to place.
ALFRED
Mr. Wayne is as determined to
ignore important things as trivial
ones.
MALE VOICE (O.S.)
Don’t take it personally, Miranda.

They turn to see a man in his fifties. Daggett.
DAGGETT
Everyone knows Wayne’s holed up in
there with eight-inch nails, peeing
into Mason jars. (To Alfred.) Good
of you to let me on the grounds.
ALFRED
The Dent Act is about all Gotham.
Even you, Mr. Daggett. Miss Tate,
always a pleasure.
Alfred turns and walks off. Daggett smiles, glib.
13.


DAGGETT
Why waste your time talking to the
man who threw away your investment
on some save-the-world vanity
project? He can’t help you get your
money back. But I can.
MIRANDA
I could try explaining that a
save-the-world project, vain or
not, is worth investing in,
whatever the return. I could try,
Mr. Daggett, but you understand
only money and the power you think
it buys, so why waste my time,
indeed?

She walks away. Daggett watches her go.

INT. DRAWING ROOM, EAST WING, WAYNE MANOR - CONTINUOUS
Close on the dinner tray. We hear a labored step approach.
Bruce Wayne appears, leaning on a cane. Gaunt. Grey temples.
He lifts the lid of his dinner, then freezes, hearing
something. He slowly limps into the next room...

INT. SITTING ROOM, EAST WING, WAYNE MANOR, CONTINUOUS

The Maid looks at framed photographs of Rachel, Thomas and
Martha Wayne. Some are half-burned. She notices an archery
target, arrows stuck in it. She reaches out. WHAM! An arrow
sticks into the target - the Maid spins around, flustered.
Wayne, at the other end of the long room, lowers a composite
bow. Picks up his cane.
MAID
I’m, I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Wayne.
It is Mr. Wayne, isn’t it?

Wayne nods, gently. Limps towards her.
MAID
Although you don’t have the long
nails... (Nervous laugh.) Or facial
scars...
She trails off, embarrassed. Coy. She seems very young.
WAYNE
Is that what they say about me?
14.

MAID
It’s just that...nobody sees you...

Wayne approaches slowly. He nods at her pearl necklace.
WAYNE
That’s a beautiful necklace.
Reminds me of the one that belonged
to my mother. It can’t be the same
one - her pearls are in this safe -
He reaches out with his cane to press open a panel on the
bureau, revealing a safe door...
- which the manufacturer clearly
explained is uncrackable.

...which swings open with an awkward creak.
MAID
Oops. No one told me it was
uncrackable.

The Maid suddenly seems more confident. Older.
WAYNE
I’m afraid I can’t let you take
those.

She smiles at him. Moves towards him.
MAID
Look, you wouldn’t hit a woman any
more than I would beat up a
cripple.
She kicks his cane from under him, smashes him down.
Of course, sometimes exceptions
have to be made.

The Maid vaults onto the bureau and up to a high window.
Goodnight, Mr. Wayne.
She flips backwards through the window. Wayne smiles, then
rocks forward on his good leg and rises with athletic grace.
He looks at the safe, notices something. Powder...

EXT. DRIVE, WAYNE MANOR - CONTINUOUS
Moving toward the line of town cars, the Maid pulls off her
white apron, cuffs and collar, leaving a black dress and
pearls. A Valet hurries to open a car door for her - she
slips into a town car...beside the Congressman.
15.


MAID
Can I have a ride?
The Congressman, a little tipsy, looks at her hungrily.
CONGRESSMAN
You read my mind.

INT. EAST WING, WAYNE MANOR - LATER

Alfred enters, to find Wayne kneeling at the safe.
ALFRED
Miss Tate was asking to see you
again.

WAYNE
She’s very persistent.
ALFRED
And quite lovely, in case you were
wondering.

WAYNE
I wasn’t.
ALFRED
What are you doing?

WAYNE
Examining print dust. We’ve been
robbed.
ALFRED
And this is your idea of raising
the alarm?
WAYNE
(shrugs)
She took the pearls. Tracking
device and all.
ALFRED
She?

WAYNE
One of the maids, perhaps you
should stop letting them in this
side of the house.
16.


ALFRED
Perhaps you should learn to make
your own bed, then. Why are you
dusting for prints?

WAYNE
I’m not. She was.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Bruce Wayne, still grieving, is living as a recluse in Wayne Manor. A maid, revealed as an undercover thief, confronts him, revealing she has stolen his mother's pearls. Wayne fights her off and discovers she planted a tracking device, prompting him to investigate further, despite Alfred's concerns about Miranda Tate's attempts to meet with him.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Intriguing plot
  • Well-developed characters
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Lack of significant character changes
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus and purpose, with multiple interactions and elements that don't contribute significantly to the overall story or character development.
  • The dialogue feels forced and lacks depth, making the interactions between characters seem superficial and unengaging.
  • The transition between different locations and characters is abrupt and disjointed, making it difficult for the audience to follow the scene's progression.
  • The character motivations and conflicts are not clearly defined, leading to a lack of tension and emotional impact in the scene.
  • The action sequences and physical interactions between characters feel contrived and unrealistic, detracting from the authenticity of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Focus on developing a central conflict or theme that drives the scene forward and engages the audience.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it more natural, meaningful, and reflective of the characters' personalities and motivations.
  • Streamline the scene by eliminating unnecessary interactions and elements that do not contribute to the overall narrative.
  • Ensure smooth transitions between locations and characters to maintain coherence and clarity in the scene.
  • Work on building tension and emotional depth by clearly defining character motivations and conflicts, leading to a more impactful and engaging scene.



Scene 6 -  Rooftop Revelation
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. ROOFTOP, MAJOR CRIMES UNIT - CONTINUOUS

Gordon brings a stack of files against the air duct, settles
to read. Next to him is a rusty, broken searchlight.
YOUNG VOICE (O.S.)
Sir?

A young Cop is standing there. This is Blake.
BLAKE
I didn’t want to bother you up
here, but they’re looking for you.

GORDON
What’s the problem, son?
BLAKE
Congressman Gilly’s wife’s been
calling. He hasn’t made it home
from the Wayne Foundation event.
GORDON
That’s a job for the police?
BLAKE
Sir, I’ve been a cop for a year and
I’ve only logged half a dozen
arrests. When you and Dent cleaned
the streets you cleaned ’em good.
Pretty soon we’ll be chasing
overdue library books.
Gordon smiles at this. Blake looks at his stack of files.
BLAKE
But here you are. Like we’re still
at war...
GORDON
Old habits.
17.


BLAKE
Or instinct.
GORDON
What’s your name, son?

BLAKE
Blake, sir.
GORDON
You have something you want to ask
me, Officer Blake?
BLAKE
It’s that night. This night, eight
years ago. The night Dent died.

GORDON
What about it?
BLAKE
The last confirmed sighting of the
Batman. He murders those people,
takes out two SWAT teams, breaks
Dent’s neck...then just vanishes?
GORDON
I’m not hearing a question, son.

Blake shifts uneasily. Then looks at Gordon.
BLAKE
Don’t you want to know who we was?
Gordon turns to look at the broken searchlight. He brushes
his fingers across its rusted shell.
GORDON
I know exactly who he was. (Turns
to Blake.) He was Batman.

Gordon walks past Blake, heading for the stairs.
GORDON (O.S.)
Let’s go see about the
Congressman’s wife...
18.

INT. EAST WING, WAYNE MANOR - MORNING
Alfred takes his tray into the bedroom. The bed is empty.

ALFRED
Master Wayne?
Alfred’s voice echoes through the vast mansion. No reply.


INT. STUDY, WAYNE MANOR - MOMENTS LATER
Alfred hits three notes on the piano. The bookcase opens.


INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT - CONTINUOUS
Alfred descends into the caverns beneath Wayne Manor.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime"]

Summary Gordon and Blake discuss the missing Gilly and the Batman's disappearance on a rooftop. Gordon reveals he knows Batman's identity but leaves Blake with the mystery, hinting at his haunting past.
Strengths
  • Atmospheric setting
  • Intriguing character dynamics
  • Mystery and tension building
Weaknesses
  • Lack of immediate action or resolution
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the gravity of the situation being discussed.
  • The dialogue between Gordon and Blake feels a bit forced and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to fully engage with the characters.
  • The transition between the rooftop scene and Alfred's search for Wayne in the manor feels disjointed and could be smoother.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the emotional impact of the events being discussed, such as Dent's death and Batman's disappearance.
  • The scene could benefit from more dynamic and engaging interactions between the characters to heighten the drama and intrigue.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more layers to the conversation between Gordon and Blake to explore their conflicting perspectives and motivations.
  • Introduce more visual elements or actions to enhance the scene and create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Work on building up the tension and suspense in the scene to keep the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.
  • Explore the emotional depth of the characters and the impact of past events to add depth and complexity to the scene.
  • Consider refining the pacing and structure of the scene to ensure a smooth flow between different locations and character interactions.



Scene 7 -  A Shadowy Conversation and a Somber Discovery
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. BATCAVE - CONTINUOUS

Alfred walks through the arches as the stone floor starts to
lower, becoming a ramp. At the bottom, Alfred is level with
a series of dark slate obelisks - a bridge over the water to
where Wayne sits at a computer atop a massive slate cube.

ALFRED
You haven’t been down here in a
long time...
WAYNE
Just trying to find out more about
our jewel thief. I ran her prints
from the photos she handled -
Wayne pulls up a mug shot - a fat, male armed-robbery
suspect.
- but she was wearing someone
else’s fingerprints. She’s good.
ALFRED
She may be. But we have the trace
on the necklace.

WAYNE
We do, so I cross-referenced the
address she went back to with
police data on high-end
B-and-E’s...

Wayne hits a key. A photograph of the Maid appears.
Selina Kyle. The databases are full
of close calls, tips from fences...
19.

Newspaper headlines appear -
THE CAT STRIKES AGAIN, POLICE SUSPECT ’CAT’ BURGLAR IN JEWEL
HEIST.

WAYNE
She’s good, but the ground is
shrinking beneath her feet.

ALFRED
We should send the police before
she fences the pearls.
WAYNE
She won’t. She likes them too much.
And they weren’t what she was
after.
ALFRED
What was she after?

WAYNE
My fingerprints. There was printer
toner mixed with graphite on the
safe. Gives you a good pull, and
it’s untraceable.

ALFRED
Fascinating. Maybe you should
exchange notes over coffee.
WAYNE
Now you’re trying to set me up with
a jewel thief?
ALFRED
At this point, sir, I would set you
up with a chimpanzee if I thought
it would bring you back into the
world.
WAYNE
There’s nothing out there for me.

ALFRED
And that’s the problem. You hung up
the cape and cowl, but never moved
on. You won’t get out there and
find a life. Find someone -

WAYNE
(bitter)
I did find someone, Alfred.
20.


ALFRED
I know. And then you lost them.
That’s part of living, sir. But
you’re not living - you’re waiting.
Hoping for things to go bad again.

Wayne says nothing.
Remember when you left Gotham?
Before all this. Before Batman.
Seven years you were gone. Seven
years I waited. Hoping that you
wouldn’t come back.
Wayne looks at Alfred. Not understanding.
Every year I took my holiday. I’d
go to Florence. There’s a café by
the Arno... Any fine evening I
would sit there and order a Fernet
Branca...
INSERT CUT: Alfred seated in a café sipping his drink...
I had a fantasy. I liked to imagine
that one day I’d look across the
tables, and see you. Sitting there
with your wife. Perhaps some kids.
You wouldn’t say anything to me, or
me to you, but we’d both
know...that you’d made it. That you
were happy.

INSERT CUT: Alfred spots a couple at another table and looks
closer, hopeful. But they are strangers.
I never wanted you to come back to
Gotham. I knew there was nothing
there for you but pain and tragedy,
and I wanted more for you than
that. I still do.
Alfred leaves Wayne to his cave. His bats.


EXT. WATER TREATMENT FACILITY - DAY
Blake and his partner, Ross, get out of their patrol car. A
DWP Man leads them down a long concrete trough.

DWP MAN
They wash up a couple times a
month. More when in gets colder -
homeless sheltering in the tunnels.
We had to pull him to clear the
basin, but other than that we
didn’t touch him...
21.


They come out by the catchment basin. Above the grille lies
a body - a teenage boy. Blake looks down at him. Freezes.
ROSS
What?

BLAKE
Name’s Jimmy. He’s at St.
Swithin’s. (Off look.) The boys
home where I...I coach some ball.


EXT. ST. SWITHIN’S HOME FOR BOYS - DAY
Blake looks up at the shabby building.


INT. ST. SWITHIN’S HOME FOR BOYS - MOMENTS LATER
Blake is talking to Father Reilly.
FATHER REILLY
Jimmy hadn’t been here for months.

BLAKE
Why?
FATHER REILLY
You know why, Blake - he aged out.
We don’t have the resources to keep
boys on after sixteen -
BLAKE
The Wayne Foundation gives money
for that -

FATHER REILLY
Not for two years now.
BLAKE
He has a brother here, right?

FATHER REILLY
Mark. I’ll tell him.
BLAKE
I’d like to, if that’s okay.
22.


EXT. PLAYGROUND, ST. SWITHIN’S - MOMENTS LATER
Father Reilly watches as Blake sits with Mark - ten.
BLAKE
I’m sorry.

Mark nods slowly. Staring straight ahead.
BLAKE
What was he doing in the tunnels?

MARK
Lot of guys been going down the
tunnels when they age out. Say you
can live down there. Say there’s
work down there.

BLAKE
What kind of work are you gonna
find in the sewers?
MARK
More than you can find up here, I
guess.
Blake considers this. Troubled.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime","Drama"]

Summary Amidst the shadowy confines of the Batcave, Alfred and Wayne delve into the enigma of a jewel thief, their dialogue laden with emotional depth and concern for Wayne's well-being. The scene shifts to the stark reality of a water treatment facility, where Blake unearths the lifeless body of a teenage boy. His investigation leads him to St. Swithin's Home for Boys, where he encounters Father Reilly and the boy's brother, Mark, piecing together the circumstances surrounding the tragedy. The scene culminates in a somber reflection on the themes of loss and regret, leaving a profound emotional impact.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Introduction of new character with potential for growth
Weaknesses
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue
  • Slightly slow pacing in certain parts
Critique
  • The scene provides a deep insight into the emotional turmoil and internal conflict of Bruce Wayne, as well as the caring nature of Alfred. This adds depth to the characters and enhances the emotional impact of the story.
  • The dialogue between Alfred and Wayne is poignant and reveals the underlying themes of loss, regret, and the struggle to move on from past traumas.
  • The visual elements, such as the dark and somber setting of the Batcave, effectively convey the mood of the scene and reflect the inner struggles of the characters.
  • The scene effectively sets up the emotional journey and character development for Bruce Wayne, highlighting his reluctance to move on and find happiness.
  • Alfred's heartfelt monologue about his hopes for Wayne's happiness adds a layer of emotional depth and showcases the strong bond between the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotional impact of the scene, such as close-up shots of the characters' expressions or gestures.
  • Explore the internal conflict of Bruce Wayne further by delving into his past traumas and how they shape his present decisions and emotions.
  • Introduce subtle foreshadowing elements that hint at future developments in the story, adding layers of complexity and intrigue.
  • Consider incorporating more dynamic elements into the scene to create a sense of movement and progression, enhancing the pacing and engagement of the audience.
  • Focus on building the relationship between Alfred and Bruce Wayne even further, showcasing the depth of their connection and the impact of their interactions on the overall narrative.



Scene 8 -  Selina's Bar Brawl and Escape
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. DIVE BAR - NIGHT
Selina Kyle, in a little black dress, walks in with a drunk
in a Hawaiian shirt. She sits him on a bar stool - walks
over to a table where a neatly dressed man, Stryver, sits.

STRYVER
You brought a date?
SELINA
I like having someone around to
open doors for me.

Selina glances around. Things scattered throughout the bar.
Jumpy. Selina hands an envelope to Stryver.
SELINA
Right hand. No partials.
Stryver slides a transparency out of the envelope. Holds it
up to the light. Four perfect fingerprint transfers.
23.


STRYVER
Very nice.
He pockets the envelope.
SELINA
Not so fast, handsome. You got
something for me?
STRYVER
Oh, yes.

Stryver signals a Thug who locks the door. Another Thug
joins them at the table. Selina smiles.
SELINA
I don’t know what you’re going to
do with Mr. Wayne’s prints...but
I’m guessing you’ll need his thumb.
As Stryver checks the envelope again -
SELINA
You don’t count so good, huh?
STRYVER
I count fine.
The Second Thug puts a gun to Selina’s head.

STRYVER
In fact, I’m counting to ten right
now...
Selina looks in his eyes. The Thug cocks his gun. She
blinks.
SELINA
Okay, okay -

She reaches for her purse. The Thug stops her, reaches in
himself - pulls out a cellphone. Slides it across the table.
SELINA
My friend is waiting outside. Just
hit ’send’...

Stryver looks at the phone. Hits ’send’. Selina sizes up her
options. A knock on the door. Second Thug hides his gun. The
door opens - a young woman, Jen. She enters, cheerful, spots
Selina. Pulls out an envelope, looks around.
24.


JEN
Place is a little dead.
SELINA
(takes envelope, tense)
It’ll liven up in a minute, trust
me.
JEN
Everything okay?

SELINA
Great. Catch you later.
Jen leaves. Stryver checks the envelope. Satisfied.
SELINA
It would’ve been a lot easier to
just give me what we agreed.
STRYVER
We can’t have loose ends. And even
in that dress, no one’s going to
miss you.
SELINA
No. But my friend over there...?
Stryver looks at Selina’s ’date’ drooling into a bowl of
nuts at the bar - he looks familiar...
SELINA
Every cop in the city’s missing
him.

Across the bar, the TV on mute -
MANHUNT FOR MISSING CONGRESSMAN.
Stryver looks at Selina.

STRYVER
Cute. But they’re not gonna be
looking in a place like this.
SELINA
I don’t know... You did just use
his cell phone.
Stryver glances down at the cell phone as - SCREECH - the
Thugs look out the window at cop cars and SWAT units
descending on the bar. Stryver glances at the window and -
SMASH - Selina CRACKS his head against the table, grabs
25.


Second Thug’s gun hand, flips over the table, firing at the
other Thugs, who drop. The SWATs batter down the door.
Selina crouches, cowering, screaming.
SWAT
It’s alright, Miss. Just stay down
-
The SWATs barrel past, chasing the remaining Thugs back
through the bar and out into the back alley. Selina smiles.


EXT. ALLEY BEHIND BAR - CONTINUOUS
The Thugs turn and open up on the SWATs with automatic
weapons.


INT. DIVE BAR - CONTINUOUS
Selina moves to the door. Spots the Congressman under the
bar, clutching his bleeding leg.

SELINA
Keep some pressure on that,
sweetheart.
She adjusts her dress in the broken mirror behind the bar.
Moves for the door.

CONGRESSMAN
(weak)
Call me?


EXT. DIVE BAR - CONTINUOUS
Selina waltzes out - right into Blake. She feigns panic.
SELINA
There’s a man in there - he’s
bleeding!
BLAKE
It’s okay, Miss. It’s okay.

Blake helps Selina down onto the tailgate of a SWAT truck.
He heads into the bar, weapon drawn. Selina slips behind the
truck and into the night.
26.


INT. DIVE BAR - CONTINUOUS
Blake enters, gun drawn. Spots the Congressman.
BLAKE
(into radio)
I’ve got the Congressman - bullet
to the leg, but he’s okay.

EXT. ALLEY BEHIND BAR - CONTINUOUS

The SWATs return fire. The Thugs lay down cover fire, then
race around a corner into a smaller passage.
A cop car pulls up, blocking the mouth of the alley - Gordon
jumps out, gun drawn.

The SWATs approach the passage, massing on both corners
tactically. The two corner SWATs exchange hand signals,
counting down... They round the corner, aiming low and high.
The passage is empty.

The SWATs cover a fire escape, but Gordon spots at once -
GORDON
Manhole!

He races to the manhole cover - SWATs wrench off the cover,
Gordon grabs a flashlight from the nearest SWAT.
GORDON
You three, down with me. You two,
head down to cover the next exit -

SWAT
Where -?
GORDON
Get the DWP down here, now!

Gordon starts climbing down the ladder...

INT. SEWERS - CONTINUOUS

Gordon moves down the tunnel, flashlight low. Three SWATs
fall in behind...
27.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary Selina Kyle pretends to have a date at a dive bar to hand over fingerprint transfers to Stryver. When Stryver orders his thugs to kill her, Selina fights back, grabbing a gun and flipping over a table. She escapes as the SWAT team arrives. Selina finds the missing Congressman hiding under the bar and tells him to keep pressure on his bleeding leg. She pretends to be scared when she sees Blake outside and tells him there is a man bleeding inside the bar. Blake goes inside while Selina slips away. Gordon and the SWAT team follow the thugs into the sewers.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Fast-paced action
  • Clever escape sequence
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched elements in the heist setup
Critique
  • The scene starts off with a strong introduction of Selina Kyle in a dive bar, setting the tone for her character. However, the transition from Selina interacting with Stryver to the sudden appearance of the SWAT team feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The dialogue between Selina and Stryver is engaging and reveals a lot about Selina's character. However, some of the exchanges feel a bit forced and could benefit from more natural flow and subtlety.
  • The action sequence where Selina takes down the thugs and the SWAT team arrives is well-paced and exciting. However, the resolution of Selina's escape could be more seamless and less rushed.
  • The visual descriptions in the scene are vivid and help set the atmosphere of the dive bar. However, there could be more attention to detail in describing the surroundings and the characters' movements to enhance the reader's immersion.
  • The character dynamics between Selina, Stryver, and the Congressman are intriguing, but there could be more depth added to their interactions to further develop their relationships and motivations.
Suggestions
  • Consider smoothing out the transition between Selina's interaction with Stryver and the sudden appearance of the SWAT team to create a more cohesive flow.
  • Work on refining the dialogue to make it more natural and nuanced, allowing for deeper character development and subtlety in exchanges.
  • Enhance the resolution of Selina's escape to make it more seamless and satisfying for the reader, avoiding a rushed conclusion.
  • Add more detailed visual descriptions to enrich the setting and character movements, enhancing the reader's immersion in the scene.
  • Further develop the character dynamics between Selina, Stryver, and the Congressman to add depth and complexity to their interactions, motivations, and relationships.



Scene 9 -  Rescue in the Sewers
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. ALLEY BEHIND BAR - CONTINUOUS
Blake comes into the alley. Cops surround the manhole.
COP
Where’s the DWP guy?

BLAKE
They went down there?
FOLEY
(shaking his head)
And Gordon took SWAT in after them.

INT. SEWERS - CONTINUOUS

Gordon hears a noise up ahead - pushes forward, rounds the
corner. BANG! GUNFIRE. SWATs return fire, shots sparking off
the concrete walls, then - BOOM - behind him the tunnel
ERUPTS IN FIRE, blasting the SWATs. Gordon races forward,
tearing through the tunnels.


EXT. ALLEY BEHIND BAR - CONTINUOUS
Blake jumps back as a fireball bursts out of the manhole.


INT. SEWERS - CONTINUOUS
Gordon races around a corner, gun drawn. A noise makes him
turn - WHACK, he is clobbered from behind by a Thug.


EXT. ALLEY BEHIND BAR - CONTINUOUS
Blake pushes forward.
BLAKE
Come on, we gotta get down there -

COP
That was a gas explosion, kid -
BLAKE
Gas? This is a sewer!
FOLEY
No one goes in there till we know
what’s down there.
28.


BLAKE
We know what’s down there, sir. The
Police Commissioner!
FOLEY
Somebody get the hothead out of
here. And get me a DWP guy!
Blake backs off. Gets an idea - goes for his patrol car.


INT. SEWERS - CONTINUOUS
Thug 1 flips Gordon onto his back.
THUG 1
This one’s alive. (Looks closer.)
Jesus. It’s the Police
Commissioner.
THUG 2
What do we do?

THUG 1
Take him to Bane.
The two Thugs drag Gordon down through the maze of tunnels.
As they descend deeper they encounter work crews of muscular
men wielding large drills and jackhammers, working the walls
and ceiling of the larger tunnels. Some of the men are armed
Mercenaries, overseeing gangs of homeless street kids. They
stare as Gordon is dragged past. The Thugs drag Gordon
between two waterfalls, into -


INT. BANE’S LAIR, SEWERS - CONTINUOUS (NIGHT)
They approach a figure, turned away, crouched in the
firelight. Bare-chested, muscular, masked. Bane. A crooked
line of scar tissue runs the length of his spine...

BANE
Why are you here?
The Thugs drop Gordon at Bane’s feet.

THUG 1
Answer him!
Bane slowly turns to the Thugs.
29.


BANE
I’m asking you.
THUG 1
It’s the Police Commissioner.

BANE
And you brought him down here?
THUG 2
We didn’t know what to do. We -

BANE
You panicked. And your weakness
costs three lives.
THUG 1
No, he’s alone -
Bane flips the Thug’s chin up and to the side with a crack.
Thug 1 drops. Bane turns to Thug 2.
BANE
Search him. Then I will kill you.
The Thug, terrified, pulls out Gordon’s badge, wallet,
gun...and the folded papers of the speech he did not read.
Bane takes these one by one with quick glances. He stops at
the papers. Unfolds them...

As he reads, Gordon rolls off the steps, dropping into the
rushing flow of water - gunshots ring out...
THUG 2
He’s dead.

Thug 2 trails off as Bane looks up from the papers...
BANE
Then show me his body.

THUG 2
That water runs to any one of the
outflows - we’d never find him.
Bane turns to the Lead Mercenary.

BANE
Give me your GPS.
Lead Mercenary hands him a GPS - Bane tucks it into Thug 2’s
jacket, zips it up like a mother sending her kid to school.
30.


BANE
Follow him.
THUG 2
Follow him?

Bane shoots Thug 2, kicks him into the water. Turns to Lead
Mercenary.
BANE
Track him. Make sure both bodies
will not be found. Then brick up
the south tunnel.

EXT. WATER TREATMENT FACILITY - NIGHT

Blake comes out to the catchment basin. He spots something
stuck up against the grille, thrusts his hand into the
raging waters - Gordon is there, alive. Just. Blake pulls
him up onto the concrete, hoists him up, hurrying...


INT. FRONT HALL, WAYNE MANOR - DAY
Alfred opens the door to reveal Blake in his dirty uniform.
BLAKE
I need to see Brice Wayne.

ALFRED
I’m sorry, Mr. Wayne doesn’t take
unscheduled calls. Even from police
officers.

BLAKE
And if I go get a warrant, in the
investigation of Harvey Dent’s
murder? Would that still count as
unscheduled?
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime"]

Summary Blake arrives at an alley where cops surround a manhole, learning that Gordon and SWAT officers have entered the sewers to rescue the trapped Police Commissioner. A gas explosion occurs in the sewers, prompting Blake to alert the cops. Gordon is ambushed by Thugs and brought before Bane, who discovers his identity and orders his capture. Blake locates Gordon alive in the raging waters and rescues him.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Intriguing character dynamics
  • High-stakes conflicts
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion with multiple characters and plot threads
Critique
  • The scene transitions between different locations and characters quite abruptly, which can make it challenging for the audience to follow the action smoothly.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth and character development in this scene, particularly in the interactions between Gordon, the Thugs, and Bane.
  • The dialogue feels a bit forced and lacks subtlety, making the interactions between the characters less engaging.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive setting for the audience.
  • The pacing of the scene is a bit rushed, with important moments like Gordon being dragged to Bane's lair and the confrontation with the Thugs feeling somewhat underdeveloped.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more transitions or establishing shots to help the audience understand the shifts between locations and characters.
  • Focus on developing the emotional arcs of the characters, particularly Gordon, Bane, and the Thugs, to create more depth and complexity in their interactions.
  • Work on refining the dialogue to make it more natural and reflective of each character's personality and motivations.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and engaging setting for the scene.
  • Take the time to build tension and suspense in key moments, such as Gordon being dragged to Bane's lair and the unfolding confrontation with the Thugs.



Scene 10 -  Call to Action: The Return of the Batman
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. STUDY, WAYNE MANOR - MOMENTS LATER
Blake is sitting, drumming his leg, nervous. Wayne enters.

WAYNE
What can I do for you, officer?
BLAKE
Commissioner Gordon’s been shot.
31.


WAYNE
I’m sorry to hear that -
BLAKE
He chased a gunman down into the
sewers. When I pulled him out he
was babbling about an underground
army. A masked man called ’Bane’.
WAYNE
Shouldn’t you be telling this to
your superior officers?
BLAKE
I did. One of them asked if he saw
any giant alligators down there. He
needs you. He needs the Batman.

WAYNE
If Commissioner Gordon thinks I’m
the Batman he must be in a bad way
-

BLAKE
He doesn’t know or care who you
are. (Off look.) But we’ve met
before. When I was a kid. At the
orphanage. See, my mom died when I
was small. Car accident, I don’t
really remember it. But a couple of
years later my dad was shot over a
gambling debt. I remember that just
fine. (Looks at Wayne.) Not a lot
of people who what it feels like,
do they? To be angry. In your
bones. People understand, foster
parents understand. For a while.
Then they expect the angry kid to
do what he knows he can never do.
To move on. To forget.

Wayne stares at Blake.
BLAKE
So they stopped understanding and
sent the angry kid to a boys’ home
- St. Swithin’s. Used to be funded
by the Wayne Foundation. See, I
figured it out too late. You have
to hide the anger. Practice smiling
in the mirror. Like putting on a
mask. You showed up one day in a
cool car, pretty girl on your arm.
(MORE)
32.


BLAKE (cont’d)
We were so excited - Bruce Wayne,
billionaire orphan. We made up
stories about you. Legends. The
other boys’ stories were just that.
But when I saw you I knew who you
really were... (Beat.) I’d seen
that look on your face. Same one I
taught myself.
Blake gets up to leave. Wayne is lost in thought.

BLAKE
I don’t know why you took the fall
for Dent’s murder, but I’m still a
believer in the Batman. Even if
you’re not.

WAYNE
Why did you say your boys’ home
used to be funded by the Wayne
Foundation?

BLAKE
Because the money stopped. Might be
time to get some fresh air and
start paying attention to the
details. Some of those details
might need your help.

INT. HALL, WAYNE MANOR - MOMENTS LATER
Wayne and Alfred watch Blake drive away.

WAYNE
You checked that name? ’Bane’ -
ALFRED
Ran it through some databases. He’s
a mercenary. No other known name.
Never been seen or photographed
without a mask. He and his men were
behind a coup in West Africa that
secured mining operations for our
friend John Daggett.

WAYNE
Now Daggett’s brought them here?
ALFRED
It would seem so. I’ll keep
digging.
33.


Alfred turns to leave.
WAYNE
Why did the Wayne Foundation stop
funding boys’ homes in the city?

ALFRED
The Foundation is funded from the
profits of Wayne Enterprises...
(Off look.) There have to be some.

WAYNE
Time to talk to Mr. Fox, I think.
ALFRED
I’ll get him on the phone -

WAYNE
No. Do we still have any cars
around the place?
ALFRED
(lights up)
One or two.
WAYNE
And I need an appointment at the
hospital. About my leg.

ALFRED
Which hospital, sir?
WAYNE
Whichever one Jim Gordon’s in.

Alfred is less excited by this part of the request.

EXT. WAYNE ENTERPRISES - DAY

Moving towards the tall skyscraper downtown.
MIRANDA (V.O.)
Mr. Fox, I believe in what Mr.
Wayne was trying to do...
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime","Drama"]

Summary Officer Blake reveals that Commissioner Gordon has been shot by Bane, a mercenary leading an underground army. Despite his reluctance, Blake appeals to Wayne's sense of responsibility and knowledge of his true identity. Wayne agrees to visit Gordon in the hospital, while Alfred provides information about Bane. Wayne's decision suggests a shift towards resuming his role as Batman.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • Complex characters
  • Intriguing plot developments
Weaknesses
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue
  • Slightly predictable character interactions
Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the urgency and tension by introducing the news of Commissioner Gordon being shot and the mention of a masked man named 'Bane'.
  • The dialogue between Blake and Wayne provides insight into Blake's background and his connection to Wayne, adding depth to his character.
  • The emotional exchange between Blake and Wayne about anger, loss, and the need to hide emotions is well-written and adds a layer of complexity to their interaction.
  • The scene effectively sets up the mystery surrounding 'Bane' and his connection to Daggett, creating intrigue and setting the stage for future developments.
  • The transition from the study to the hall with Wayne and Alfred watching Blake drive away is smooth and helps maintain the flow of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual descriptions to enhance the setting and atmosphere of the scene, such as Wayne's reaction to Blake's revelations or the tension in the air.
  • Explore deeper into Wayne's internal conflict and emotional response to Blake's words to further develop his character arc.
  • Introduce more subtle hints or foreshadowing about 'Bane' and his motives to build anticipation and suspense for future plot points.
  • Consider incorporating more dynamic action or movement to break up the dialogue-heavy scenes and keep the pacing engaging.
  • Ensure that the transition between different locations and characters is seamless to avoid any confusion for the audience.



Scene 11 -  Boardroom Confrontation and Arsenal Revelation
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. BOARDROOM, WAYNE ENTERPRISES - CONTINUOUS
Miranda is talking to Lucius Fox at the table.
34.


MIRANDA
I’m only asking for explanations
because I think I can help.
FOX
I’ll pass along your request. Next
time I see him.
Miranda catches something in this.
MIRANDA
He doesn’t talk to you either?
FOX
Let’s just say that Bruce Wayne has
his...eccentricities.

MIRANDA
(rising)
Mr. Fox, are you aware that John
Daggett is trying to acquire shares
in Wayne Enterprises?

FOX
I was not. But it wouldn’t do him
any good - Mr. Wayne still retains
a clear majority.
Miranda leaves. Fox moves into his office - stops.

FOX
Bruce Wayne. As I live and breathe.
Wayne rises, pushing hard on his cane.

FOX
What brings you out of cryo-sleep
Mr. Wayne?
WAYNE
I see you haven’t lost your sense
of humor...even if you have lost
most of my money.
FOX
Actually, you did that yourself.
See, if you funnel the entire R and
D budget for five years into a
fusion project that you then
mothball, your company is unlikely
to thrive.
35.

WAYNE
Even with -

FOX
A wildly sophisticated CEO, yes.
Wayne Enterprises is running out of
time. And Daggett is moving in.
WAYNE
What’re my options?
FOX
If you’re not willing to turn your
machine on -

WAYNE
I can’t, Lucius.
FOX
Then sit tight. Your majority keeps
Daggett at arm’s length while we
figure out a future for the energy
program with Miranda Tate - she’s
supported your project all the way.
She’s smart, and quite lovely.
WAYNE
You too, Lucius?
FOX
We all just want what’s best for
you, Bruce. Show her the machine.

WAYNE
I’ll think it over.
FOX
Anything else?

WAYNE
No, why?
FOX
These conversations always used to
end with some...unusual requests.
WAYNE
I retired.
FOX
Let me show you some stuff, anyway.
Fox hits a button - the bookcase opens into a hidden
elevator.
36.


INT. APPLIED SCIENCES - MOMENTS LATER
Fox leads Wayne into the vast, gadget-filled space. They
pass Tumblers with different weapons configurations...
WAYNE
I figured you’d have shut this
place down.
FOX
It was always shut down,
officially.
WAYNE
But all this new stuff?
FOX
After your father died, Wayne
Enterprises set up fourteen
different defense subsidiaries.
I’ve spent years shuttering them
and consolidating all the
prototypes under one roof. My roof.

WAYNE
Why?
FOX
Stop them falling into the wrong
hands. Besides, I thought someone
might get some use out of them...
Wayne shakes his head.
FOX
Sure I can’t tempt you to
something? Pneumatic crampons?
Infrared lenses? Least let me get
you something for that leg.

WAYNE
It’s fine the use it gets these
days.
FOX
Well, then I have just the thing
for an eccentric billionaire who
doesn’t like to walk...
Fox opens a door - we glimpse a sleek vehicle. Wayne’s eyes
light up.
37.

WAYNE
Now you’re just showing off.

FOX
Defense Department project for
tight-geometry urban pacification.
Rotors configured for maneuvering
between buildings without
recirculation.

WAYNE
What’s it called?
FOX
It has a long and uninteresting
Wayne Enterprises designation. So I
took to calling it the Bat. And
yes, Mr. Wayne, it does come in
black.
Wayne touches its sleek side. Marveling.

FOX
Works great except for the
autopilot.
WAYNE
What’s wrong with that?
FOX
Software-based instability. Take a
better mind than mine to fix it.

WAYNE
Better mind?
FOX
I was trying to be modest. A less
busy mind. Yours, perhaps.
Wayne looks wistfully at the machine. Turns away.
WAYNE
I told you. I retired, Lucius.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Miranda Tate confronts Lucius Fox about Bruce Wayne's absence and learns of Daggett's attempt to acquire shares. Wayne enters and seeks solutions, prompting Fox to propose involving Tate and showcase Wayne's secretive fusion project. Fox unveils a hidden arsenal, including prototypes and the Batmobile. Wayne struggles to decide whether to engage Tate while Fox emphasizes the threat from Daggett. The scene ends with Wayne contemplating his options and exploring the arsenal's wonders.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Introduction of key plot elements
  • Tension and conflict building
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant character development in this scene
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the high stakes and impending danger faced by the characters.
  • The dialogue between Miranda and Lucius Fox feels somewhat flat and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to delve into the emotional and strategic aspects of the situation.
  • The interaction between Bruce Wayne and Lucius Fox also falls short in terms of emotional impact and fails to fully engage the audience.
  • The scene could benefit from more dynamic and engaging interactions between the characters to heighten the suspense and maintain the audience's interest.
  • The transition between the boardroom and Applied Sciences feels abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Introduce more conflict and tension in the dialogue to create a sense of urgency and heighten the stakes for the characters.
  • Explore deeper emotional connections between the characters to add layers to their interactions and make the scene more engaging.
  • Consider adding more visual elements or action sequences to break up the dialogue-heavy scenes and keep the audience visually engaged.
  • Enhance the transitions between different locations to ensure a seamless flow and maintain the momentum of the scene.
  • Focus on character development and motivations to make the interactions more compelling and impactful for the audience.



Scene 12 -  Wayne's Dilemma
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. EXAMINATION ROOM, GOTHAM GENERAL HOSPITAL - NIGHT
Wayne listens, distracted, while a Doctor examines an X-ray.

DOCTOR
I’ve seen worse cartilage in knees
-
38.


WAYNE
That’s good -
DOCTOR
No, that’s because there is no
cartilage in your knee. And not
much of any use in your elbows and
shoulders. Between that and the
scar tissue on your kidneys,
residual concussive damage to your
brain tissue and general
scarred-over quality of your
body... (Takes a deep breath.) I
cannot recommend that you go
heli-skiing. About the only part of
your body that looks healthy is
your liver, so if you’re bored I
recommend you take up drinking, Mr.
Wayne.
Wayne smiles. The Doctor leaves. Wayne pulls on a ski mask,
steps to the window, hops up, pulls a wire from his cane,
which he clips to his belt. He props his cane behind the
frame - jumps out. The wire unspools from the cane as -

EXT. TENTH FLOOR, GOTHAM GENERAL HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS
Wayne drops three floors...


INT. PRIVATE ROOM, GOTHAM GENERAL - CONTINUOUS
Gordon lies in his bed, hooked up to machines. Wayne, in ski
mask, stands over him. Gordon’s eyes flutter open. He tries
to speak with a weak, hoarse voice...
GORDON
We were in this together. Then you
were gone...

WAYNE
The Batman wasn’t needed anymore.
We won.
GORDON
Built on a lie. Our lie. Now
there’s evil rising from where we
tried to bury it. Nobody will
listen... The Batman has to come
back.
39.


WAYNE
What if he doesn’t exist anymore?
GORDON
He must. He must.


INT./EXT. LAMBORGHINI ON GOTHAM STREETS - NIGHT
Wayne pulls up in front of a row of shabby subdivided town
houses. Checks a tracking device. Jon, provocatively
dressed, leads a Yuppie Banker-type in through a front door.

INT. SELINA’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Selina sits in a small room getting ready to go out. She
picks up the pearls - hears a disturbance in the hall.
JEN (O.S.)
I told you - money first -
YUPPIE (O.S.)
Goddammit, you took my wallet!

INT. STAIRWELL OUTSIDE SELINA’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
The Yuppie has Jen against the wall - he reaches back to hit
her with an expensive wristwatch-clad arm. But Selina has
grabbed his wrist with a powerful grip.
SELINA
Get out.

YUPPIE
She took my wallet!
Selina twists his arm behind him in a blinding move.
SELINA
Now.
She releases the Yuppie, who moves off down the stairs.
Selina turns to Jen. Who is examining a wallet.
SELINA
I told you not to try it with the
assholes, Jen.
JEN
They’re all assholes.
40.


SELINA
Okay, the assholes who hit.
JEN
I don’t know what he’s so upset
about, he only had sixty bucks in
here.
SELINA
Probably the watch.

YOUNG WOMAN
Watch?
Selina opens her hand and gives Jen the Yuppie’s Rolex.


EXT. SELINA’S BUILDING, OLD TOWN, GOTHAM - LATER
Selina exits and hails a cab. Wayne watches her go. Then
pulls out. Checking his tracker.


EXT. MUSEUM, GOTHAM - LATER
Town cars dispense Gotham society in tasteful masquerade.
Wayne pulls up to the Valet. Paparazzi line the entrance.
Wayne uses his cane to get out of his Lamborghini...

PAPARAZZI
Another stiff too old to climb out
of his sports car.
PAPARAZZI 2
No, that’s Bruce Wayne! Hey, Wayne,
where you been hiding?
Lenses swing onto Wayne, who pushes a button on his key fob
- a pulse. The cameras die. Wayne heads to the door.

WAYNE
I’m not sure if my assistant put me
on the guest list -
GREETER
Right through here, Mr. Wayne...
41.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime","Drama"]

Summary Bruce Wayne learns of his extensive physical damage and ignores a doctor's warning, prompting Jim Gordon to urge him to return as Batman amidst rising evil. Selina intervenes to protect a woman from an aggressive man. Despite his doubts, Wayne attends a museum event while grappling with the role of Batman.
Strengths
  • Complex characters
  • Intense dialogue
  • High-stakes conflict
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched elements in the dialogue
  • Slight predictability in certain character actions
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Wayne listening to the Doctor's medical advice to him escaping the hospital, which feels disjointed and rushed.
  • The dialogue between Wayne and Gordon lacks depth and emotional resonance, failing to fully capture the weight of their past and the urgency of the situation.
  • The introduction of Selina's storyline in the middle of the scene feels out of place and disrupts the flow of the narrative.
  • The scene lacks a clear focus on the main plot points and character development, making it feel scattered and unfocused.
  • The action sequences and character interactions could be more engaging and dynamic to create a sense of tension and suspense.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to have a more cohesive flow and focus on the main storyline involving Wayne, Gordon, and the impending threat from Bane.
  • Enhance the emotional depth of the dialogue between Wayne and Gordon to convey the gravity of the situation and the importance of Batman's return.
  • Integrate Selina's storyline more seamlessly into the scene or save it for a separate scene to avoid disrupting the narrative flow.
  • Clarify the stakes and motivations of the characters to create a more compelling and engaging scene.
  • Add more action and tension to the scene to keep the audience invested and build anticipation for the upcoming events.



Scene 13 -  Charity Ball Encounter
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. MUSEUM - CONTINUOUS
A lavish ball - the expressively attired dance under falling
confetti... Even Bruce Wayne is struck by the ostentation.
He spots Selina dancing with a deeply smitten Rich Twit. She
wears a small, velvet pair of cat ears. And the pearls.

MIRANDA (O.S)
Bruce Wayne at a charity ball?
Wayne turns to find Miranda Tate, amazed, a small mask her
only concession to fancy dress.
WAYNE
Miss Tate, isn’t it?
MIRANDA
Even before you became a recluse,
you never came to these things...
WAYNE
True. Proceeds go to the big fat
spread, not the cause. It’s not
about charity, it’s about feeding
the ego of whichever society hag
laid it on.
MIRANDA
Actually, this is my party, Mr.
Wayne.
WAYNE
Oh.
MIRANDA
And the proceeds will go where they
should, because I paid for the big
fat spread myself.
WAYNE
That’s very generous of you.
MIRANDA
You have to invest to restore
balance to the world. Take our
clean-energy project...

WAYNE
Sometimes the investment doesn’t
pay off. Sorry.
42.


MIRANDA
You have a practiced apathy, Mr.
Wayne. But a man who doesn’t care
about the world doesn’t spend half
his fortune on a plan to save it...
(Gentle.) And isn’t so wounded when
it fails that he goes into
hiding...
Wayne looks at Miranda. Intrigued.

MIRANDA
Have a good evening, Mr. Wayne.
Wayne watches Miranda glide away. Then turns to Selina.
WAYNE
Mind if I cut in?
Rich Twit turns, annoyed - Wayne hands him his cane. Takes
Selina by the waist. She glares at him.
WAYNE
You don’t seem very happy to see
me.
SELINA
You were supposed to be a shut-in.

WAYNE
Felt like some fresh air.
SELINA
Why didn’t you call the police?

WAYNE
I have a powerful friend who deals
with this kind of thing. (Admires
her cat ears.) Brazen costume for a
cat burglar.

SELINA
Yeah? Who are you pretending to be?
WAYNE
Bruce Wayne, eccentric billionaire.
Who’s your date?
SELINA
His wife’s in Ibiza. She left her
diamonds behind, though. Worried
they’d get stolen.
43.

WAYNE
It’s pronounced ’Ibeetha’. You
wouldn’t want these folks realizing
you’re a crook not a social
climber.

SELINA
(flash of anger)
You think I care what anyone in
this room thinks about me?

WAYNE
I doubt you care what anyone in
this room thinks about you.
SELINA
Don’t condescend, Mr. Wayne. You
don’t know a thing about me.
WAYNE
Well, Selina Kyle, I know you came
here from your walk-up in Old Town
- modest place for a master jewel
thief. Which means either you’re
saving for your retirement - or
you’re in deep with the wrong
people.

SELINA
You don’t get to judge me because
you were born in the master bedroom
of Wayne Manor.
WAYNE
Actually, I was born in the Regency
Room.
SELINA
I started off doing what I had to.
Once you’ve done what you had to
they’ll never let you do what you
want to.
WAYNE
Start fresh.

SELINA
There’s no fresh start in today’s
world. Any twelve-year-old with a
cell phone could find out what you
did. Everything we do is collated
and quantified. Everything sticks.
We are the sum of our mistakes.
44.


WAYNE
Or our achievements.
SELINA
The mistakes stick better. Trust
me.

WAYNE
You think that justifies stealing?
SELINA
I take what I need to from those
who have more than enough. I don’t
stand on the shoulders of people
with less.
WAYNE
Robin Hood?
SELINA
I’d do more to help someone than
most of the people in this room.
Than you.

WAYNE
Maybe you’re assuming too much.
SELINA
Or maybe you’re being unrealistic
about what’s really in your pants
other than your wallet.
WAYNE
Ouch.

SELINA
You think all this can last?
Wayne glances around at the sumptuous party.

SELINA
There’s a storm coming, Mr. Wayne.
You and your friends better batten
down the hatches, because when it
hits you’re all gonna wonder how
you ever thought you could live so
large and leave so little to the
rest of us.
WAYNE
Sounds like you’re looking forward
to it.
45.


SELINA
I’m adaptable.
WAYNE
These pearls do look better on you
then they did in my safe...

Wayne rolls her into his shoulder - reaches up to the back
of her neck, unclasps the necklace.
But I still can’t let you keep
them.

The pearls slide off her neck into his other hand. Selina
looks at him. Angry. Then kisses him, hard, and disappears
into the crowd. Wayne’s cane reappears.
RICH TWIT
(annoyed)
You scared her off.
WAYNE
Not likely.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime","Drama"]

Summary Bruce Wayne attends a charity ball and confronts Selina Kyle, a cat burglar, about her motives. Selina defends her actions as a form of justice against the wealthy, leading to an unresolved conflict between them.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Tension-filled interactions
  • Thematic depth
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Lack of physical action
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict, making it feel disjointed and lacking in tension.
  • The dialogue between Wayne and Selina feels forced and overly expository, with characters revealing too much about themselves in a short span of time.
  • The interaction between Wayne and Selina lacks subtlety and nuance, coming across as heavy-handed and lacking in depth.
  • The scene relies heavily on exposition and dialogue to convey character motivations, which can make it feel unnatural and contrived.
  • The transition between different topics and themes within the scene is abrupt and does not flow smoothly, leading to a lack of cohesion.
Suggestions
  • Focus on establishing a clear central conflict or tension between Wayne and Selina to drive the scene forward.
  • Consider adding more subtext and subtlety to the dialogue between Wayne and Selina to create a more engaging and layered interaction.
  • Show rather than tell - use actions and reactions to convey character motivations and emotions instead of relying solely on dialogue.
  • Work on creating a more natural and organic progression of topics and themes within the scene to improve its overall flow and coherence.
  • Consider trimming down the dialogue and focusing on quality over quantity to make the interactions more impactful and meaningful.



Scene 14 -  Bruce Wayne's Dilemma
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. MUSEUM - MOMENTS LATER
Wayne approaches the Valet. Pats down his pockets.
WAYNE
I must have lost my ticket -
VALET
Your wife said you were taking a
cab home, sir.

WAYNE
My wife?

INT./EXT. LAMBORGHINI RACING DOWN STREETS - CONTINUOUS

Selina permits herself a little smile as she guns the
engine.

INT. ROLLS ROYCE - LATER

Alfred watches in the mirror as Wayne climbs into the back.
ALFRED
Just you, sir?

Wayne gives him a withering glare.
(MORE)
46.

ALFRED (cont’d)
Don’t worry, Master Wayne. Takes a
little time to get back into the
swing of things.
Wayne dials his phone.
FOX (O.S.)
This is Fox.

WAYNE
Remember those ’unusual requests’ I
used to make?
FOX (O.S.)
I knew it!
Up front, Alfred listens. Concerned.

INT. BATCAVE - DAY

Wayne pushes a button on a hi-tech carbon fiber brace
strapped to his good knee - the brace tones. As Wayne starts
moving his knee, bending, stretching, Alfred puts down a
Thermos.

ALFRED
You’ve got the wrong leg, sir.
WAYNE
You start with the good limb so it
learns your optimum muscle
patterns.
Wayne swaps the brace to his bad knee. Puts his weight on it
- the knee bends, kicks. He sits again. Cautious.
Now we tighten it up.

Wayne gingerly pushes a button - the brace starts to shrink
tight to his leg, digging in. Wayne grits his teeth.
ALFRED
It is terribly painful?

WAYNE
(gritted teeth)
You’re welcome to try it, Alfred.
ALFRED
Happy watching, thank you, sir.
Wayne shouts as the brace clicks home. He gets to his feet.
47.


WAYNE
Not bad -
Wayne executes a perfect roundhouse, knocking out a brick.
Not bad at all.

Alfred picks up the brick. Considers it. Uneasy. He follows
Wayne across the bridge to the cube.
ALFRED
Master Wayne, if you’re considering
going back out there you need to
hear some rumors surrounding Bane.
WAYNE
I’m all ears.

ALFRED
There is a prison. In a more
ancient part of the world. A pit.
Where men are thrown to suffer and
die. But sometimes, a man rises
from the darkness. Sometimes...the
pit sends something back.
WAYNE
Bane.
ALFRED
Born and raised in a hell on earth.
WAYNE
Born in a prison?
ALFRED
No one knows why. Or how he
escaped. But they know who trained
him one he did...Rā’s al Ghūl. Your
mentor.

Wayne takes this in. Shocked.
ALFRED
He plucked Bane from a dark corner
of the earth and trained him in the
blackest disciplines of combat,
deception and endurance. Just like
you.
WAYNE
Bane was a member of the League of
Shadows.
48.


ALFRED
Until he was excommunicated. And a
man considered too extreme for Rā’s
al Ghūl is not to be trifled with.

WAYNE
I didn’t realize I was known for
trifling with criminals.
ALFRED
That was then. And you can strap up
your leg and put the mask back on.
But it won’t make you what you
were.
WAYNE
Which was?

ALFRED
Someone whose anger at death made
him value all life. Even his own.
WAYNE
If this man is all the things you
say he is, then this city needs me.
The Batsuit emerges from the cube.
ALFRED
Yes, this city needs Bruce Wayne.
Your resources, your
knowledge...not your body. Not your
life. That time has passed.

WAYNE
I tried helping as Bruce Wayne,
Alfred. And I failed.
ALFRED
You can fail as Bruce Wayne. As
Batman, you can’t afford to.
WAYNE
That’s what you’re afraid of - that
if I go back out there I’ll fail.

ALFRED
No. I’m afraid that you want to.
Wayne looks at Alfred. Then turns to examine the Batsuit.
49.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime","Drama"]

Summary Bruce Wayne, despite concerns from Alfred about his health and the new threat of Bane, remains determined to return as Batman to protect Gotham.
Strengths
  • Intense character dynamics
  • Compelling dialogue
  • High stakes and conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the gravity of the situation and the impending danger posed by Bane.
  • The dialogue between Wayne and Alfred feels somewhat forced and lacks depth, missing an emotional connection or impactful exchange.
  • The transition between different locations and interactions feels disjointed, making it challenging for the audience to fully engage with the scene.
  • The character motivations and conflicts are not fully explored or developed, leaving the interactions feeling superficial and lacking depth.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual cues and descriptive elements to enhance the atmosphere and immerse the audience in the setting.
Suggestions
  • Introduce more emotional depth and tension in the dialogue between Wayne and Alfred to create a more engaging interaction.
  • Consider restructuring the scene to flow more smoothly between different locations and interactions, enhancing the coherence of the narrative.
  • Develop the character motivations and conflicts further to add complexity and depth to the interactions, making them more compelling for the audience.
  • Enhance the visual elements and descriptive details to create a more immersive and atmospheric setting, drawing the audience into the scene.
  • Focus on building a sense of urgency and impending danger to heighten the stakes and create a more gripping and impactful scene.



Scene 15 -  Gotham Stock Exchange Under Siege
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. STOCK EXCHANGE - EVENING
A frenzy of trading on the packed floor...
Two Traders sit on a shoeshine stand in the lobby.

TRADER 2
You can’t short the stock because
Bruce Wayne goes to a party -
TRADER 1
Wayne coming back is change. Change
is either good or bad.
TRADER 2
On what basis?

TRADER 1
I flipped a coin.
Near the front entrance: a Food Delivery Guy is standing
there negotiating with a Trader.

TRADER 3
No. Rye. I told ’em rye.
Trader 3 spots bad news on a screen.
Alright, I’ll take it.

He thrusts Food Guy a tip and grabs the bag, distracted...
At the rear secure entrance: a Motorcycle Courier enters,
wearing his helmet - a Female Security Guard gets in his
face.

FEMALE SECURITY GUARD
Rookie! Lose the helmet! (Points at
a camera.) We need faces for
cameras.

In the rest room: a Janitor mops the floor, shifting out of
the way of two Traders who rush in to pee.
At the shoeshine stand, Trader 1 waves a bill down at the
man shining his shoes without a glance. Shoeshine Man takes
the bill, then, as the Traders step off, he reaches into a
gym bag and checks an automatic weapon. He clicks the slide
home, then hoists the gym bag and heads for the trading
floor.
At the secure entrance: the Courier pulls off his helmet.
The Female Security Guard’s eyes go wide.
50.

In the rest room: the Janitor reaches into his bucket and
pulls out a machine pistol in a Ziploc bag.

Near the front entrance: Food Guy pulls an automatic pistol
- clubs Trader 3 with it, pastrami flying. Shoeshine Man
moves onto the floor, pulls out his weapon.
Under the Courier’s helmet - a mask. Bane. He grabs the
Female Security Guard and throws her into her colleagues,
lashing out in four directions with rapidfire lethality.
Shoeshine Man fires into the large trading screens. The
floor erupts into a different frenzy - traders hit the deck,
screaming. Bane moves onto the floor...

TRADER 1
This is a stock exchange, there’s
no money you can steal -
He dries up as Bane stops. Turns to him...

BANE
Why else would you people be here?
Bane grabs Trader 1 by the throat and drags him across the
floor to an online automated trades terminal... He puts the
man’s thumb onto the print reader - the screen lights up.

BANE
Enter your password. Or I send
these men to your home.

Trader 1, terrified, types in his password. Outside, sirens.
Shoeshine man pulls out a USB drive with an antenna - plugs
it into the computer - figures race across the screen...

EXT. STOCK EXCHANGE - CONTINUOUS

Police vehicles screech into the narrow street -
construction vehicles are blocking. Blake argues with a
burly Construction Worker.
BLAKE
Move it, now! We’ve got a
situation.
CONSTRUCTION WORKER
Where can I move it?!

BLAKE
That way!
Blake points - but SWAT vehicles pile in, blocking.
51.


BLAKE
Get in your vehicle and stay there!
Foley and the SWAT Commander, Allen, approach the entrance.
The Market Security Chief walks up, frantic.

SECURITY CHIEF
You’ve gotta get in there!
FOLEY
This is a hostage situation -

SECURITY CHIEF
It’s a robbery! They’ve got direct
access to the online trading desk.
FOLEY
I’m not risking my men for your
money -
SECURITY CHIEF
It’s not our money, it’s
everyone’s!

ALLEN
Really? Mine’s in my mattress.
SECURITY CHIEF
If you don’t shut these guys down,
the stuffing in that mattress might
be worth a whole lot less, pal.
FOLEY
Cut the fiber line - shut down the
cell tower. That’ll slow them down.


INT. STOCK EXCHANGE - CONTINUOUS
Shoeshine Man looks up from the laptop.

SHOESHINE MAN
They cut the fiber. Cell’s working.
BANE
For now. How much longer does the
program need?
SHOESHINE MAN
Eight minutes.
52.


BANE
Time to go mobile.
Shoeshine Man picks up the laptop, slips it into his pack...


EXT. STOCK EXCHANGE - CONTINUOUS
Allen shouts at his men.
ALLEN
Get the barriers up - no more in
and out on this street!
Steel wedge-shaped barriers rise up at the mouth of the
street. A Sniper watches the doors through a thermal scope.
Six large heat signatures bloom, too big for people...

SNIPER
I’ve got something -
The door explodes. SWATs duck, six sportbikes race out and
leap the ramp-like barricades, sending SWATs scattering.
Cops scramble to pull their vehicles out to give chase.

EXT. GOTHAM STREET - CONTINUOUS
The bikes weave through traffic, Traders strapped to the
back, facing backwards - screaming, ties flying in the wind.
A cruiser falls in behind.
ROOKIE COP
Shoot the tires!

A Veteran Cop sights a shot, but the Traders are in the way.
VETERAN COP
No shot!


EXT. STOCK EXCHANGE - CONTINUOUS
Foley is barking into his radio.
FOLEY
Back off, back off! They’ve got
hostages!
53.


INT./EXT. CRUISER ON GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS
The cruiser follows the bike into a large tunnel. A Rookie
Cop looks up into his rear-view.
ROOKIE COP
What’s going on with the lights?
The Veteran Cop looks back - streetlights and headlights are
dying one after another. The darkness is chasing them - the
darkness hits them. Their lights, sirens, and engine die...

And, out of the silence, a dark shape roars past -
VETERAN COP
It can’t be...

ROOKIE COP
The hell was that?!
VETERAN COP
Oh boy. You’re in for a show
tonight, son.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary As police respond to a hostage situation and robbery at the Gotham Stock Exchange, masked individuals led by Bane seize hostages and disrupt the stock market. Amidst the chaos, the city's power grid is compromised, plunging Gotham into darkness. Police officers sense a looming threat, foreshadowing impending danger.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • High stakes
  • Tension-filled atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development through dialogue
  • Limited emotional depth in dialogue
Critique
  • The scene at the stock exchange is fast-paced and action-packed, but it lacks depth in character development and emotional engagement. The traders and security guards are portrayed in a stereotypical manner without much individuality or backstory.
  • The dialogue between the traders and security guards feels forced and lacks authenticity. The interactions are superficial and do not add much to the overall narrative or character dynamics.
  • The introduction of Bane and his henchmen is abrupt and lacks proper build-up. The transition from the traders' mundane activities to a violent hostage situation is jarring and could benefit from a smoother transition.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the tension and atmosphere. Details about the setting, the characters' actions, and the unfolding chaos could help create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the motivations and intentions of Bane and his henchmen. Providing more context and background information about their goals and objectives could add complexity to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth to the characters involved in the stock exchange scene. Develop their personalities, motivations, and relationships to make the audience more invested in their fates.
  • Work on improving the dialogue to make it more natural and engaging. Focus on creating authentic interactions that reveal character traits and drive the plot forward.
  • Enhance the transition between the mundane activities of the traders and the sudden hostage situation. Build up the tension gradually to create a more impactful and seamless shift in tone.
  • Include more visual descriptions to paint a vivid picture of the chaos and violence unfolding in the stock exchange. Use sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene and evoke a sense of urgency and danger.
  • Provide more context and background information about Bane and his henchmen to add depth to their characters and motivations. Explore their goals, ideologies, and relationships to create a more compelling and nuanced narrative.



Scene 16 -  Batman Escapes from the Police
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. HIGHWAY - CONTINUOUS
Food Guy drives the rear bike. He looks back - sees
streetlights explode behind him - darkness catching him up.

The engine chokes and dies. The Trader jumps off, shouting
for the cops. Food Guy turns, pulling his gun. SMASH! - Food
Guy is thrown backwards off his bike by a dark wing as
BATMAN races by on the Bat-Pod.


EXT. STOCK EXCHANGE - CONTINUOUS
Foley rushes to Blake’s cruiser.
FOLEY
Let’s roll, they’ve spotted the
Batman!

EXT. HIGHWAY INTERSECTION - CONTINUOUS

The remaining bikes split up as they reach a high overpass.
54.


EXT. HIGH OVERPASS - CONTINUOUS
Batman pulls up, overlooking the intersection - pulls a
rifle-shaped device. A tone builds - he aims it at the bike
and fires.


EXT. HIGHWAY OFF-RAMP - CONTINUOUS
Janitor’s bike sparks and dies. Sirens as Cops move in,
Another bike splutters and dies - the Hostage breaks for
cover.

EXT. HIGH OVERPASS - CONTINUOUS
Batman sees the last two bikes disappear beneath an
overpass. He holsters his EMP rifle and guns the Bat-Pod.

INT. BLAKE’S CRUISER - CONTINUOUS
Foley, in the back, is using the cruiser as a mobile command
station.
FOLEY
(into radio)
Call everyone in - every car
patrol, beat cop, off-duty, too!
Pull ’em in, close every street!
Now!
Foley looks out at Gotham rushing by.
FOLEY
I’m gonna do what Gordon never
could.
BLAKE
What’s that?

FOLEY
I’m gonna take down the Batman.
BLAKE
Sir, what about the armed robbers?

Foley ignores him.
55.


EXT. GOTHAM - CONTINUOUS
All around the city, cops mobilize - cars, vans, choppers...

EXT. HIGHWAY - CONTINUOUS

Bane pulls up at speed alongside Shoeshine Man. Shoeshine
Man glances inside his pack - signals ’2’. Bane turns, sees
darkness approaching, reaches back and grabs his Hostage,
lifting him onto the back of Shoeshine Man’s bike. Bane
peels off - Batman stays on Shoeshine Man.

INT. CHOPPER - CONTINUOUS
A Spotter watches Bane peel off, hits the radio.

SPOTTER
(into radio)
One bike’s pulled off, no hostage -


INT. BLAKE’S CRUISER - CONTINUOUS
Foley listens to the radio, hungry -
SPOTTER
(over radio)
Should we pursue?
FOLEY
Negative! Stay on the Batman!
BLAKE
But he’s getting away!
FOLEY
(annoyed)
Who do you want to catch? Some
robber, or the son-of-a-bitch who
killed Harvey Dent?

INT. DAGGETT’S PENTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Coverage of the pursuit blares from all the TVs, as Daggett
and Stryver watch. Tense.
TV ANNOUNCER
People aren’t saying much -
frankly, they’re too busy - but all
signs suggest that what we’re
(MORE)
56.


TV ANNOUNCER (cont’d)
seeing is, in fact, the return of
the Batman...


INT. INNER OFFICE, DAGGETT’S PENTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Moving in on a shadow, crouched in front of Daggett’s safe,
working the dial... The shadow slides up a pair of goggles
onto the top of its head creating the silhouette of cat
ears. It is Catwoman. She turns to the TV, watching the
pursuit.
CATWOMAN
Well, what do you know?
Catwoman opens the safe. Nothing inside. She frowns.


EXT. GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS
Bane slips between two cruisers who tear after the Batman.
He jumps up onto a concrete barrier, then down to the mouth
of an outflow pipe. He glances at the entire Gotham Police
Department descending on one man. Disappears into the pipe.

EXT. GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS

Shoeshine Man glances into his pack - the program beeps,
finished. He looks back to see the Bat-Pod racing at him,
ducks as it comes alongside...riderless. Shoeshine Man looks
up, confused. WHUMP! His hostage is ripped off the bike by a
low-flying dark shape.

Shoeshine Man lays down the bike in a shower of sparks,
rolls off dazed. Batman grabs him.
BATMAN
WHAT WERE YOU STEALING?!

Shoeshine Man stares. Unafraid. Batman rips the computer
from his pack. The screen reads:
APPLICATION COMPLETE

Blinding light and noise as police choppers descend - sirens
everywhere. Batman grabs the USB drive from the laptop. He
jumps on the Bat-Pod - pauses, taking in the sight of
thousands of police, cars, choppers, dogs, closing in.
57.


POLICE VOICE
(over loudspeaker)
STEP AWAY FROM THE BIKE!
Batman looks at the line of stopped traffic. An empty car
transporter is below the on-ramp... Batman fires the cannons
at the transporter, the near ramp crashes down, and Batman
roars towards it - mounts it and jumps onto the on-ramp...

INT. DAGGETT’S PENTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Daggett angrily grabs some ice cubes for his drink.
DAGGETT
After eight years he has to pick
tonight...

STRYVER
He’s drawing the cops off Bane...
Daggett watches, intrigued.


INT. BLAKE’S CRUISER - CONTINUOUS
Foley shouts down the phone.
FOLEY
How did you let him go?!
COP
(over radio)
He’s got a lot of firepower -

FOLEY
And you don’t?! We’re not letting
one nut with a bad attitude and
some fancy gadgets run this town
down, you hear me?!

COP
(over radio)
He’s heading back downtown...
FOLEY
(excited)
Then he’s as dumb as he dresses -
close it down, gentlemen!
58.


EXT. GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS
Thousands of police jockey to pursue the Batman as he races
back into the downtown area.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller"]

Summary As Batman battles the robbers taking hostages, he disables their bikes and captures one of them, retrieving a USB drive. Despite Blake's concerns, Foley orders the police to pursue Batman, leading to Bane's escape with a hostage. Batman then uses the Bat-Pod's cannons to escape onto a car transporter.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • High-stakes conflict
  • Fast-paced pacing
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
Critique
  • The scene lacks clear transitions between the different locations and actions, making it feel disjointed and hard to follow.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth and character development in the dialogue and interactions, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
  • The pacing of the scene is inconsistent, with rapid shifts between different events and locations, leading to a sense of confusion and chaos.
  • The motivations and intentions of the characters, especially Batman and Bane, are not clearly conveyed, making it challenging to understand their actions and decisions.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions and details to create a vivid and immersive setting for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding clear transitions between locations and actions to improve the flow and coherence of the scene.
  • Focus on developing the characters' emotions and motivations through dialogue and interactions to create a more engaging and relatable story.
  • Work on refining the pacing of the scene by balancing action sequences with moments of character development and tension.
  • Clarify the intentions and goals of the main characters, particularly Batman and Bane, to enhance the audience's understanding of their actions.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions and details in the scene to create a more immersive and captivating setting for the audience.



Scene 17 -  The Batman's Evasive Maneuvers and Catwoman's Confrontation
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - CONTINUOUS
The Bat-Pod tears along, pursued by a phalanx of cruisers,
choppers overhead. More cops appear at the far end of the
boulevard.

The Bat-Pod executes a ninety-degree turn, flipping over as
it goes, then guns into the darkness of a large blind alley.
Cruisers and choppers block the mouth of the alley. Blake
arrives last, his cruiser sealing the bottleneck. Foley
swaggers out.
FOLEY
Like a rat in a trap, gentlemen...
Foley reaches for a loudhailer. VARRROOOOM!! A noise from
the alley that none of the cops have heard before...
VETERAN COP
You might have the wrong animal
there, sir -

Spotlights smash on and a massive dark cyclone roars out of
the alley, spinning the choppers sideways, dual rotor
downdraft forcing all the cops to the ground.
The Bat, now black, thunders up and over the entire Gotham
PD. Blake slides up to Foley. Dry.

BLAKE
Are you sure that was him?
Foley looks at Blake. Thrusts the loudhailer at him.


INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Gordon, still hooked up to machines, watches TV. He smiles.

ANNOUNCER
(on TV)
Police are keeping quiet about the
prospect of a return by the Batman,
but eyewitness accounts seem the
clearly suggests the type of...
59.


INT. DAGGETT’S PENTHOUSE - NIGHT
Daggett watches the TV coverage, concerned. Stryver enters.
STRYVER
Bane says the Batman interfered,
but the task was accomplished.
DAGGETT
What about the men they arrested?

STRYVER
He says, and I quote, they would
die before talking.
DAGGETT
(grins)
Where does he find these guys?
Daggett gets to his feet, relieved, moves to his inner
office.
Open the champagne...


INT. INNER OFFICE, DAGGETT’S PENTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Daggett comes through the door, calling back.
DAGGETT
And can we get some girls in here?
CATWOMAN (O.S.)
Careful what you wish for.
Catwoman grabs him, throws him across the room. His back
slams against the wall - he draws a gun, but - WHACK! -
Catwoman pins his wrist to the wall at shoulder height using
the high heel of her boot. He whimpers as she leans in.
CATWOMAN
Cat got your tongue?
She plucks the gun from his trembling hand.
DAGGETT
You dumb bitch.

CATWOMAN
Nobody ever accused me of being
dumb.
60.


DAGGETT
Dumb to show up here tonight.
CATWOMAN
I want what you owe me -

Click - Stryver has a gun to her head.
DAGGETT
’I want’ never gets...

Stryver looks appreciatively at Catwoman as she lowers her
leg...
STRYVER
Nice outfit...those heels make it
tough to walk?

Catwoman digs her stiletto into his calf, hard. He screams.
CATWOMAN
I don’t know, do they?

Catwoman spins, disarms Stryver, grabs Daggett.
CATWOMAN
So where is it?
DAGGETT
Where’s what?
CATWOMAN
The program. The ’Clean Slate’.
DAGGETT
Oh, yeah - the ultimate tool for a
master thief with a record. I don’t
have it.
The Bodyguard bursts in, gun drawn. Catwoman, holding
Daggett, spins, kicking the window with the point of her
heel. The glass shatters. She pulls Daggett through the
window. He screams - they drop...

EXT. WINDOW-CLEANING PLATFORM - CONTINUOUS

...ten feet onto the window-cleaning platform. Catwoman uses
her bladed heel to cut a rope - the platform plunges down
the side of the building.
61.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime","Drama"]

Summary The Bat-Pod escapes police pursuit through a daring maneuver, while a mysterious cyclone aids its escape. Catwoman confronts Daggett for her payment, leading to a perilous struggle on a plummeting window-cleaning platform.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Complex character interactions
  • High-stakes conflict
  • Suspenseful tone
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some cliched dialogue
Critique
  • The scene lacks clarity in terms of the action sequences, making it difficult for the reader to visualize the events unfolding.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth and character development in the scene, with interactions feeling superficial and lacking impact.
  • The dialogue feels forced and cliched at times, detracting from the authenticity of the characters' interactions.
  • The transitions between different locations and characters are abrupt and disjointed, making it challenging to follow the narrative flow.
  • The scene could benefit from more descriptive language and vivid imagery to create a more immersive and engaging experience for the reader.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the action sequences to make them more coherent and engaging for the reader.
  • Focus on developing the characters' motivations and emotions to add depth and complexity to their interactions.
  • Work on crafting more natural and authentic dialogue that reflects the characters' personalities and relationships.
  • Smooth out the transitions between locations and characters to create a more seamless narrative flow.
  • Enhance the descriptive elements of the scene to create a vivid and immersive visual experience for the reader.



Scene 18 -  Catwoman and Batman's Rooftop Confrontation
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. FLAT ROOF - MOMENTS LATER
Catwoman dumps Daggett onto the roof, towering over him.
CATWOMAN
Where is it?

DAGGETT
The ’Clean Slate’? Type in a name
and date of birth and within a
couple hours that person ceases to
exist in any database? Little too
good to be true.
CATWOMAN
You’re lying. Rykin Data took it to
prototype stage -

DAGGETT
That’s why I bought them. But they
had nothing. It was a gangland
myth.

Catwoman leans back from Daggett, taking this in... Shapes
drop onto the rooftop. Emerge from fire exits. They’re not
Daggett’s bodyguards, these are Bane’s men... Catwoman holds
Daggett by the throat, threatening him.
CATWOMAN
Stay back!
They continue to approach. One of them screws a silencer
onto his gun.
CATWOMAN
I’m not bluffing!
VOICE (O.S.)
They know...

All eyes search for the source of the voice. Catwoman spots
it - a dark shape, crouched on the roof above: Batman.
BATMAN
They just don’t care.

As the Mercenary with the silencer looks up, Catwoman leaps
forward, grabs his gun. Batman drops into the middle of the
fray, fighting back Mercenaries at Catwoman’s back - she
fires at one, clipping him, he drops. She spins aiming at
another’s head - Batman yanks her arm down, forcing her to
miss the Mercenary. Batman takes him out with a kick.
62.


CATWOMAN
You’ve got to be kidding.
BATMAN
No guns. No killing.

CATWOMAN
Where’s the fun in that?
As more mercenaries come out onto the roof, Batman runs for
the far edge.

BATMAN
Come on!
Catwoman follows, confused, as Batman leaps off the roof.
She gets to the edge, pauses to look down into the alley -
sees the black angular roof of the Bat, cockpit open.
Shots impact around her - she leaps, landing hard, but
gracefully on the back of the vehicle, slides into the
cockpit. As the engines thunder into life, and the canopy
hisses shut, taking bullets from above.

CATWOMAN
My mother warned me about getting
into cars with strange men -
BATMAN
This isn’t a car.
Catwoman flinches as the Bat thunders into the sky,
downdraft forcing the Mercenaries down onto the roof, all
but one, who walks slowly across the roof, strong against
the wind...Bane. He watches the Bat roar off into the night.


EXT. ROOFTOP, SKYSCRAPER, GOTHAM - MOMENTS LATER
The Bat lands - the canopy opens. Catwoman jumps out.

CATWOMAN
See you around -
Batman steps down after her.

BATMAN
You’re welcome.
CATWOMAN
I had it under control.
63.

BATMAN
Those weren’t street thugs - they
were trained killers. I saved your
life. In return I need to know what
you did with Bruce Wayne’s
fingerprints.
Catwoman looks at him. Considering.
CATWOMAN
Wayne wasn’t kidding about a
’powerful friend’. I sold his
prints to Daggett. For something
that doesn’t even exist.
BATMAN
I doubt many people get the better
of you.
CATWOMAN
Hey, when a girl’s desperate...

BATMAN
What were they going to do with
them?
CATWOMAN
I don’t know. But Daggett seemed
pretty interested in that mess at
the stock market.
Batman considers this. A police chopper sweeps past,
searching. Batman turns to it. Then turns back.

BATMAN
Miss Kyle -?
But she is gone.
So that’s what that feels like.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime"]

Summary Catwoman interrogates Daggett about a mysterious device, leading to a fight with Bane's men. Despite Batman's insistence on non-lethal force, Catwoman violates his rules and escapes on the Bat. She reveals her involvement in Bruce Wayne's stock market incident, leaving Batman torn. Catwoman's departure emphasizes their contrasting approaches to crime-fighting, and the scene ends with Batman facing Bane alone.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High-stakes conflict
Weaknesses
  • Slightly predictable outcome
  • Some cliched dialogue
Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong confrontation between Catwoman and Daggett, setting up the tension and stakes effectively.
  • The introduction of Bane's men adds an element of danger and escalates the conflict, creating a sense of urgency.
  • The dialogue between Catwoman and Daggett reveals important information about the 'Clean Slate' device, adding depth to the plot.
  • The entrance of Batman adds an exciting twist to the scene, shifting the dynamics of the confrontation.
  • The action sequences are well-described, with clear visuals of the fight between Batman, Catwoman, and the mercenaries.
  • The interaction between Batman and Catwoman showcases their contrasting approaches to justice, adding complexity to their characters.
  • The scene ends with a sense of mystery and anticipation as Catwoman leaves abruptly, leaving Batman with unanswered questions.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Catwoman and Batman to deepen their characters and enhance the reader's connection to them.
  • Provide more context or background information about the 'Clean Slate' device to clarify its significance and impact on the story.
  • Explore the relationship between Catwoman and Batman further to develop their dynamic and potential conflicts or alliances.
  • Add more sensory details to immerse the reader in the action sequences and enhance the visual experience of the scene.
  • Consider incorporating more strategic elements or tactical decisions from Batman to showcase his intelligence and resourcefulness in combat situations.
  • Ensure a smooth transition between the rooftop confrontation and the subsequent interaction between Batman and Catwoman to maintain the pacing and flow of the scene.



Scene 19 -  Batman's Internal Struggle and Bane's Threat
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. BATCAVE - NIGHT
Alfred is studying security camera footage of Bane killing
at the stock exchange. A roar builds - the waterfall glows
brighter until...SMASH! The Bat breaches, downdraft spraying
water. Two cubes rise - the Bat lands, Batman jumps out.
Alfred brushes water off his suit.
ALFRED
Very inconspicuous. Shall I tell
the neighbors you got yourself a
new leaf-blower?
64.


WAYNE
We bought all the neighbors.
Alfred takes the cowl from him, then the cape, as they walk.
ALFRED
From the look of the television
coverage, you seem to have your
taste for wanton destruction back.
WAYNE
(pulls out USB drive)
I retrieved this.
ALFRED
Shouldn’t the police be gathering
the evidence?

WAYNE
They don’t have the tools to
analyze it.
ALFRED
They would if you gave them to them
-
WAYNE
One man’s tool is another man’s
weapon.

ALFRED
In your mind, perhaps. But there
aren’t many things you couldn’t
turn into a weapon.

WAYNE
Alfred. Enough. The police weren’t
getting it done -
ALFRED
Perhaps they would’ve if you
haven’t made a sideshow of
yourself.
WAYNE
Perhaps you’re upset you were
wrong.
ALFRED
Wrong?
65.


WAYNE
You thought I didn’t have it in me.
Alfred looks at him. Puts down the cape and cowl.
ALFRED
You don’t. You lead a bloated
police force on a merry chase with
some fancy new toys from Fox. What
about when you come up against him.
What then?

Alfred points to the monitor - Wayne sees Bane killing...
WAYNE
I’ll fight harder, I always have.

ALFRED
When you had something to fight
for. What are you fighting for now?
Not your life.
Wayne moves to switch off the monitor. Alfred grabs his
hand.
ALFRED
Take a good look. At his speed, his
ferocity, His training. I see the
power of belief. Of the fanatic. I
see the League of Shadows
resurgent.
WAYNE
You said he was excommunicated.

ALFRED
By Rā’s al Ghūl. Who leads them
now?
WAYNE
Rā’s al Ghūl was the League of
Shadows. And I beat him. Bane’s
just a mercenary, and we have to
find out what he’s up to.
Wayne plugs the USB in, hits keys. Text scrolls.

WAYNE
Trades of some kind. Coded...
The screen blanks, a thumb print appears.
66.


ALFRED
Is that -?
WAYNE
Mine. Courtesy of Selina Kyle.

Wayne pulls out the USB, rises.
Get this to Fox - he can crack the
code and tell us what trades they
were executing.

Alfred looks at Wayne. Takes the USB.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime"]

Summary In the Batcave, Batman retrieves a USB drive from Bane's lair and attempts to analyze it. Alfred expresses concern over Batman's destructive behavior and questions his motives. Batman dismisses the severity of the threat, but Alfred reveals that Bane may be connected to the League of Shadows and that Batman's fingerprint is on the USB drive, raising doubts about Batman's ability to defeat Bane.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Mystery elements
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Lack of action sequences
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus on the emotional and psychological depth of the characters, particularly Batman and Alfred. There is an opportunity to delve deeper into their conflicting perspectives and motivations.
  • The dialogue between Batman and Alfred feels somewhat superficial and lacks the emotional weight that could enhance the scene. There is room for more nuanced and impactful exchanges between the characters.
  • The transition between Alfred studying the security footage and Batman's sudden appearance in the Bat could be smoother and more seamless to enhance the flow of the scene.
  • The tension between Batman and Alfred regarding the use of tools as weapons could be further explored to highlight the moral dilemmas faced by Batman in his pursuit of justice.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive setting, especially in the Batcave environment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth to the dialogue between Batman and Alfred to convey their conflicting emotions and perspectives effectively.
  • Enhance the emotional impact of the scene by exploring Batman's internal struggles and motivations more explicitly.
  • Work on creating a more seamless transition between different moments in the scene to improve the overall pacing and coherence.
  • Include more visual details to paint a vivid picture of the Batcave and the characters' interactions within the setting.
  • Focus on building the tension and emotional stakes between Batman and Alfred to engage the audience and create a more compelling dynamic.



Scene 20 -  Betrayal and Loss
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. HALL, WAYNE MANOR - CONTINUOUS (NIGHT)
As Wayne hits the bottom of the stairs, Alfred calls.

ALFRED
I’ll get this to Fox. But no more.
Waynne hears his tone of voice. Turns to him.

ALFRED
I’ve sewn you up and set your
bones...but I won’t bury you. I’ve
buried enough members of the Wayne
family.

WAYNE
You’d abandon me?
ALFRED
You see only one end to your story.
Leaving is all I have to make you
understand: you aren’t Batman
anymore - you have to find another
way. You used to talk about
finishing. About life beyond that
awful cave -

WAYNE
Rachel died knowing we’d decided to
be together. That was my life
beyond this cave and I can’t just
move on. She didn’t. She couldn’t.

Alfred considers this. Looks away.
ALFRED
What if he had? What if she wasn’t
intending to make a life with you?
67.


WAYNE
She was, I can’t change that -
ALFRED
What if, before she died, she’d
written a letter? Explaining that
she’d chosen Harvey Dent over you?
Wayne watches, confused, as the old man prepares to say -
ALFRED
And what if, to spare you
pain...I’d burned that letter?
Wayne stares at Alfred, shocked.
WAYNE
Why would you say such a thing?
ALFRED
Because I have to make you
understand.

WAYNE
You’re lying.
ALFRED
Because you are as precious to me
as you were to your own mother and
father and I swore to them that I
would protect you and I haven’t.
WAYNE
You’re lying!

ALFRED
I’ve never lied to you. Except when
I burned Rachel’s letter.
Wayne turns on the old man, furious.

WAYNE
How dare you use Rachel to stop me!
ALFRED
I’m using the truth, Master Wayne.
Maybe it’s time we all stopped
trying to outsmart the truth and
just let it have its day. I’m
sorry.
68.


WAYNE
Sorry?! You expect to destroy my
world, then shake hands?!
ALFRED
No. I know what this means -
WAYNE
What does it mean, Alfred?!
ALFRED
It means your hatred. It means
losing the person I’ve cared for
ever since I heard his first cries
echo through this house. But it
might also mean saving your life.
And that is more important.

Wayne looks at Alfred. Furious. Summons the worst thing to
say and says it quietly and calmly.
WAYNE
Goodbye, Alfred.

ALFRED
(quiet)
Goodbye, Bruce.
Wayne mounts the stairs...Alfred watches him go. Turns.


INT. MASTER BEDROOM, WAYNE MANOR - MORNING
Wayne is woken by the doorbell.


INT. STAIRCASE, WAYNE MANOR - MOMENTS LATER
As Wayne moves through the empty house, tying his dressing
gown, he can’t resist one tentative.

WAYNE
Alfred?
But Alfred is gone.


INT. FRONT HALL, WAYNE MANOR - CONTINUOUS
Wayne opens the front door the find Fox. Fox is surprised.
69.


FOX
Answering your own door?
WAYNE
Yes. Could you decode the trades on
that drive?

Fox hands Wayne a newspaper - the main headline:
BATMAN BACK TO FOIL OR MASTERMIND STOCK RAID...

FOX
I didn’t need to. Page three.
Wayne turns the page:
WAYNE DOUBLES DOWN - AND LOSES...

FOX
It seems you made a series of large
put options on the futures
exchange. Verified by thumb print.
The options expired at midnight
last night.
Wayne looks up from the newspaper, reeling.
FOX
Long term we may be able to prove
fraud, but for now...you’re
completely broke. And Wayne
Enterprises is about to fall into
the hands of John Daggett.
WAYNE
The weapons - we can’t let Daggett
get his hands on Applied Sciences -
FOX
Applied Sciences is shut up tight,
and off the books. The energy
project is a different story.
WAYNE
Miranda Tate. We need to convince
the board to get behind her. Let’s
show her the reactor -
FOX
We’re meeting her there in
thirty-five minutes. You better get
dressed.
70.

EXT. WAYNE ENTERPRISES RECYCLING PLANT - DAY
A scrapyard on the Gotham river. Across the water, the
towers of Gotham. Lucius leads Miranda from her car.
MIRANDA
You brought me out here to show me
a rubbish dump, Mr. Fox?

FOX
Bear with me, Miss Tate.
They arrive at a Portakabin and enter.


INT. PORTAKABIN - CONTINUOUS
Miranda looks around the derelict office. Fox smiles at her.
FOX
Keep your hands and feet inside the
car at all times.
He hits a button and the floor descends, Miranda is shocked
as the office becomes an elevator into -
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Wayne confronts Alfred about the letter from Rachel, and Alfred reveals the truth: Rachel chose Harvey Dent over him. Wayne is furious and turns on Alfred, saying goodbye. Later, Fox informs Wayne that he is broke and Wayne Enterprises is about to fall into Daggett's hands.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Revealing dialogue
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some may find the scene too emotionally heavy
Critique
  • The scene is emotionally charged and reveals a deep conflict between Wayne and Alfred, adding layers to their relationship.
  • The dialogue is impactful and reveals the underlying tension and unresolved issues between Wayne and Alfred.
  • The scene effectively conveys Wayne's struggle with his past, his grief over Rachel's death, and his identity as Batman.
  • Alfred's revelation about burning Rachel's letter adds a powerful and heartbreaking element to the scene.
  • The scene effectively sets up the financial crisis facing Wayne Enterprises and the need to convince the board to support Miranda Tate.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual elements or actions to break up the dialogue-heavy nature of the scene.
  • Explore ways to show the emotional turmoil and conflict between Wayne and Alfred through body language and expressions.
  • Provide more context or background information to enhance the impact of Alfred's revelation about burning Rachel's letter.
  • Consider adding moments of introspection or reflection from Wayne to further explore his internal struggles and conflicting emotions.
  • Find opportunities to incorporate more dynamic elements or interactions to keep the scene engaging and visually interesting.



Scene 21 -  The Reactor
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. ELEVATOR, FUSION REACTOR - CONTINUOUS
They descend diagonally into a massive concrete tunnel...
MIRANDA
This is it, isn’t it?

FOX
The reactor is beneath the river so
that it could be instantly flooded
in an event of a security breach.

MIRANDA
Is Bruce Wayne really that
paranoid?
FOX
I’m gonna plead the fifth on that
one.
Miranda marvels as they step off the elevator. She spots a
figure deep within: Bruce Wayne.

WAYNE
I thought you might like to see
what your investment built.
71.

MIRANDA
No radiation, no fossil fuels.
Free, clean energy for an entire
city.
WAYNE
If it worked. It doesn’t.
Wayne leads Miranda to the core. Two perpendicular rings of
electromagnets suspend a bowling-ball-sized mass of metal.
Wayne hits buttons - the ball glows, then dies to cold.
WAYNE
Ignition, yes. But no chain
reaction.

MIRANDA
You’ve built a lot of security
around a damp squib.
Nothing.
About three years ago a Russian
scientist published a paper on
weaponized fusion reactions. One
week later your reactor started
developing problems... (Looks at
Wayne.) I think this machine works.

WAYNE
Miranda, if it were operational,
the danger to Gotham would be too
great.

MIRANDA
Would it make you feel better to
know that the Russian scientist
died in a plane crash six months
ago?

WAYNE
Someone else will work out what Dr.
Pavel did. Someone else will figure
out how to turn this power source
into a nuclear weapon. I need you
to take control of Wayne
Enterprises and this reactor.
MIRANDA
And to do what with it?

WAYNE
Nothing. Until we can find a way to
guarantee its safety.
72.

MIRANDA
And if we can’t?

WAYNE
Decommission it. Flood it.
MIRANDA
Destroy the world’s best chance for
a sustainable future?

WAYNE
If the world’s not ready. Yes.
MIRANDA
Bruce, if you want to save the
world you have to start trusting
it.
WAYNE
I’m trusting you.

MIRANDA
Doesn’t count. You have no choice.
WAYNE
I could’ve flooded this chamber any
time in the last three years. I’m
choosing to trust you, Miranda, and
that’s not the easiest thing for
me. Please.
His eyes are genuine. Pleading. Miranda nods.

FOX
We have a board meeting to get to.

INT. BOARDROOM, WAYNE ENTERPRISES - DAY

The Board Members, including Daggett and Miranda, take their
seats. Fox at one end of the table, Wayne at the other.
DAGGETT
I’d like to point out that we have
a non-board member here. Highly
irregular, even if it is his family
name above the door...
All eyes go to Wayne. An older member of the board pipes up.

FREDERICKS
Bruce Wayne’s family built this
company -
73.


BOARD MEMBER 2
And he himself has run it -
DAGGETT
Into the ground, sir. Anybody
disagree? Check the value of your
shares this morning. Gambling on
crazy futures didn’t just lose Mr.
Wayne his seat, it’s lost us all a
lot of money. He needs to leave.

FOX
I’m afraid he has a point, Mr.
Wayne.
WAYNE
I understand. Ladies and gentlemen.

Wayne glances at Miranda who nods at him. Wayne leaves.
DAGGETT
Let’s get down to business.

FOX
Right away.

INT. LOBBY, WAYNE ENTERPRISES - CONTINUOUS

Wayne exits the building. There is an angry mob of
Shareholders and a pack of hungry Reporters.
REPORTER
Wayne, how’s it feel to be one of
the people?!

COMPANY VALET
I’m sorry, sir, they had paperwork
-

Wayne looks over to see his Lamborghini being towed.
BLAKE (O.S.)
Looks like you need a lift.
Wayne turns to see Blake standing by his patrol car. Nods.
74.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Miranda and Fox explore the fusion reactor, which Miranda finds impressive. However, Wayne reveals it's malfunctioning and could be used as a weapon. He asks Miranda to take control of Wayne Enterprises and the reactor, decommissioning it if necessary. Despite Wayne's reluctance, Miranda believes he needs to trust humanity. The scene concludes with Wayne forced out of a board meeting due to financial issues.
Strengths
  • Engaging concept
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Thought-provoking dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some exposition-heavy dialogue
Critique
  • The scene lacks a sense of urgency and tension considering the gravity of the situation involving the fusion reactor and potential threat to Gotham.
  • The dialogue between Wayne and Miranda feels somewhat flat and lacks emotional depth, especially given the weight of the decisions being made.
  • The interaction between Wayne, Miranda, and Fox could be more dynamic and engaging to keep the audience invested in the scene.
  • The transition from the elevator to the boardroom feels abrupt and could benefit from smoother pacing and better continuity.
  • The conflict and stakes surrounding the reactor and Wayne Enterprises could be heightened to create more suspense and drama.
Suggestions
  • Add more emotional depth to the dialogue between Wayne and Miranda to convey the weight of the decisions being made.
  • Increase the sense of urgency and tension in the scene to reflect the high stakes involved.
  • Consider adding more conflict and obstacles to make the scene more engaging and dynamic.
  • Work on the pacing and transitions between different locations to ensure a smooth flow of the narrative.
  • Enhance the stakes surrounding the reactor and Wayne Enterprises to create a more compelling and suspenseful storyline.



Scene 22 -  Bane's Reckoning
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. DAGGETT’S PENTHOUSE - DAY
Daggett bursts in, furious. Stryver tries to placate him.
DAGGETT
How the hell did Miranda Tate get
the inside track on the Wayne
board?! Was she meeting with Wayne?
Was she sleeping with Wayne?
STRYVER
Not that we know of -
DAGGETT
Clearly you don’t ’know of’
anything, do you?! Where’s Bane?!

STRYVER
We told him it was urgent -
DAGGETT
Then where is the masked -

BANE (O.S.)
Speak of the devil...
Daggett turns. Bane is already there.
BANE
...and he shall appear.
DAGGETT
What the hell’s going on?
BANE
The plan is proceeding as expected.
DAGGETT
You see me running Wayne
Enterprises?! (Moves towards Bane.)
Your stock exchange hit didn’t
work, friend. And now you’ve got my
construction crews working all
hours around the city? How’s that
supposed to help my company absorb
Wayne’s?

BANE
(to Stryver)
Leave us.
75.


DAGGETT
You stay right there! I’m in
charge!
Bane places a gentle hand on Daggett’s shoulder.

BANE
Do you feel in charge?
Daggett is taken aback. Stryver leaves.

DAGGETT
I’ve paid you a small fortune -
BANE
And that gives you power over me?

Daggett considers the heavy hand on his shoulder. Nervous.
DAGGETT
What is this?
BANE
Your money and infrastructure have
been important. Till now.
DAGGETT
What are you?

BANE
Gotham’s reckoning. Come to end the
borrowed time you’ve all been
living on...

Bane gently takes the terrified Daggett’s head in his
hands...
DAGGETT
You are true evil...

BANE
I am necessary evil.
Stryver, on the steps outside the living room, flinches.


SCENE OMITTED
76.


INT./EXT. CRUISER ON GOTHAM STREETS - MOMENTS LATER
Wayne stares out the window. Blake glances across.
BLAKE
When you began...why the mask?

WAYNE
To protect the people closest to
me.

BLAKE
You’re a loner with no family.
WAYNE
There are always people you care
about. You just don’t realize how
much until they’re gone. (Collects
himself.) The idea was to be a
symbol. Batman could be anybody,
that was the point.
BLAKE
It was damn good to see him back.
WAYNE
Not everybody agrees.
BLAKE
They’ll figure it out in the end.
WAYNE
Got anything on Bane’s whereabouts?
BLAKE
Yeah, I’ve got five hundred pages
of tunnel records and a flashlight.
I could use some help.
WAYNE
(thinks)
You know what? Drop me in Old
Town...

EXT. SELINA’S BUILDING, OLD TOWN, GOTHAM - DAY

Blake drops Wayne off.
WAYNE
Don’t wait. I’ll get a cab.
77.

BLAKE
You got money?

WAYNE
(smiles, sheepish)
Actually, no.
Blake hands him some bills, watches him cross the street.
The radio squawks. Blake reacts - drives off.


INT. SELINA’S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER
Selina is packing a bag. She hears voices in the stairwell.

JEN (O.S.)
I told you, money first.
WAYNE (O.S.)
I don’t think so.


INT. STAIRWELL OUTSIDE SELINA’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Selina finds Wayne standing there with Jen.
SELINA
He’s not a mark.
Jen looks at Selina. At Wayne.
SELINA
And he doesn’t have a cent to his
name, anyway.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime"]

Summary Daggett questions Bane about the failed plan, leading to a confrontation where Bane asserts his power. Wayne and Blake ponder Batman's significance while Selina intervenes in Wayne's encounter with a thief.
Strengths
  • Tension-building dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Revealing character motivations
Weaknesses
  • Lack of action sequences
  • Limited character development
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from Daggett's penthouse to the cruiser on Gotham streets, which can be confusing for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Daggett and Bane feels a bit cliched and lacks depth, relying heavily on typical villain tropes.
  • The interaction between Wayne and Blake in the cruiser feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more development to explore their dynamic further.
  • The transition from the cruiser to Selina's apartment is abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Selina, Wayne, and Jen in Selina's apartment feels a bit forced and could be more natural and engaging.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief establishing shot or scene transition to clearly indicate the change in location from Daggett's penthouse to the cruiser on Gotham streets.
  • Try to add more depth and complexity to the dialogue between Daggett and Bane to make their interaction more engaging and less predictable.
  • Expand on the conversation between Wayne and Blake in the cruiser to delve deeper into their relationship and provide more insight into their characters.
  • Smooth out the transition between the cruiser scene and Selina's apartment by adding a connecting moment or dialogue to bridge the two locations seamlessly.
  • Work on refining the dialogue in Selina's apartment to make it more authentic and compelling, capturing the essence of each character's personality and motivations.



Scene 23 -  Unexpected Passion
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. SELINA’S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER
Wayne looks at the cramped space. Selina shifts,
embarrassed.
SELINA
Yeah, it’s not much. (Smiles.) But
it’s more that you’ve got right
now.
WAYNE
Actually, they’re letting me keep
the house.

SELINA
(shakes head)
The rich don’t even go broke same
as the rest of us, huh?
78.


WAYNE
(spots her bag)
Vacation?
SELINA
Let’s just say that I’ve incurred
the wrath of some people less
susceptible to my charms than you.
WAYNE
My powerful friend hopes to change
your mind about leaving.
SELINA
And how would he do that?
WAYNE
By giving you what you want.
SELINA
It doesn’t exist.
WAYNE
He says it does. He wants to meet.
Tonight.
SELINA
Why?

WAYNE
He needs to find Bane. He thinks
you’d know how.
SELINA
Tell him I’ll think about it.
Wayne nods, starts to leave.
SELINA
Mr. Wayne? I’m sorry they took all
your money.
WAYNE
No, you’re not.


INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY
Blake moves through the hospital corridor, looking for -
79.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Blake enters. Gordon is sitting up in bed, talking to Foley.
FOLEY
Can we help you, officer?
BLAKE
John Daggett’s body was found in a
dumpster an hour ago. I thought you
might like to know.

GORDON
Why?
BLAKE
Because Daggett’s name is all over
the permits I pulled to map the
tunnels under Gotham.
Blake hands Gordon a stack of files. Foley glares at Blake.

BLAKE
MTA maintenance, sewer
construction...
GORDON
(to Foley)
Where did you get to with the
tunnel searches?
FOLEY
(to Blake)
Remind me to tell the detail to
keep hotheads out. (To Gordon.)
We’ve had teams down there, but
it’s a huge network -
GORDON
Get more men, work a grid. I want
him found.
FOLEY
Yeah, yeah - the masked man. We’re
on it.

Gordon eyes the files hungrily - glances up at Blake.
GORDON
This is good work. Lose the uniform
- you’re working for me now. We
could use some hotter heads around
here.
80.


BLAKE
This could just be a coincidence.
GORDON
You’re a detective now, son, you’re
not allowed to believe in
coincidence anymore.
Blake tries to conceal his excitement from Foley.


EXT. WAYNE MANOR - EVENING (END OF DAY)
Wayne, covering his head with a newspaper, hurries up the
driveway in the rain. Steps into the alcove. Hits the bell.
MIRANDA (O.S)
Nobody’s answering.
Wayne turns to find Miranda there.
WAYNE
No. I’m on my own now.

MIRANDA
Do you have keys?
Wayne looks a little helpless all of a sudden.

WAYNE
Never needed them...
She takes his hand.
MIRANDA
Let’s find a window.

INT. GREAT ROOM, WAYNE MANOR - CONTINUOUS (END OF DAY)
They force the French windows - enter, brushing off the
rain.
MIRANDA
Fox worked the board like you’ve
never seen - I’m in, Daggett’s out
and he’s not happy.
Wayne sets down the newspaper:
FROM BILLIONAIRE TO BUM
81.


WAYNE
Hope you don’t like me for your
money.
Miranda kicks off her shoes. Glances at the paper.

MIRANDA
Suffering builds character.
Then at a photo of Wayne’s parents.

MIRANDA
I’ll take care of your parents’
legacy, Bruce.
Miranda picks up a photo of Rachel.

MIRANDA
Who’s this?
Wayne looks at her. Can’t find words...
MIRANDA
Where’s Alfred?
WAYNE
He left. Taking everything.
Miranda puts the photo down. Kisses him. Passionately. Then
again. He kisses back. Suddenly the lights go out.
MIRANDA
What’s that?

WAYNE
(sheepish)
I think my power’s been shut off.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Wayne and Miranda break into Wayne Manor after their power is shut off. They share a passionate kiss until the power goes out, creating a mysterious and romantic atmosphere. The scene ends with them lost in the moment.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Intriguing power dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Slightly predictable plot progression
  • Lack of action sequences
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the high stakes and the impending threat of Bane and the nuclear bomb.
  • The dialogue between Wayne and Selina feels somewhat superficial and lacks depth, especially given the gravity of the situation and the characters' backgrounds.
  • The transition between Selina's apartment and the hospital corridor feels abrupt and disjointed, making the scene feel disconnected.
  • The interaction between Gordon, Blake, and Foley in the hospital room lacks emotional depth and fails to convey the weight of the information being shared.
  • The introduction of Miranda at Wayne Manor feels rushed and lacks a strong emotional impact, especially considering the significance of their conversation.
Suggestions
  • Add more tension and urgency to the dialogue between Wayne and Selina, focusing on their motivations and the imminent danger facing Gotham.
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between Selina's apartment, the hospital corridor, and Wayne Manor, to improve the flow of the narrative.
  • Enhance the emotional depth of the interaction between Gordon, Blake, and Foley in the hospital room, emphasizing the gravity of the situation and the importance of their mission.
  • Develop the introduction of Miranda at Wayne Manor to create a more impactful and meaningful interaction between her and Wayne, highlighting the weight of their conversation and the stakes involved.



Scene 24 -  Romance and Confrontation
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. SAME - LATER (NIGHT)

Wayne watches as Miranda tends to a roaring fire.
WAYNE
You’re pretty good at that.

MIRANDA
When I was a child we had almost
nothing. But on the nights we had a
fire, we felt very rich indeed.
She returns to him, pulling a blanket around both of them.
82.

WAYNE
I assumed your family was wealthy.
MIRANDA
Not always. Not when I was young.

He traces a scar on her shoulder.
MIRANDA
An old mistake.

WAYNE
I’ve made a few myself.
She turns to him, tracing the scars across his chest.
MIRANDA
More than a few... (Smiles.) We
could leave. Tonight. Take my
plane. Go anywhere we wanted.
WAYNE
Someday perhaps. Not tonight.
She pulls him close. He kisses her. They fold into each
other, the warm heart at the center of a vast, cold room.


INT. GREAT ROOM, WAYNE MANOR - NIGHT
Miranda is sleeping, wrapped in the blanket. Wayne studies
her for a moment, then slips out...


INT. BATCAVE - MOMENTS LATER
Wayne moves to the Batsuit. Picks up the cowl.

EXT. SKIES ABOVE GOTHAM - NIGHT

The Bat roars towards downtown. Batman kills the lights and
main engines - the Bat quietly autorotates into the canyons.

INT. MIA TUNNEL - LATER

Catwoman on a wall, watching trains go by. She senses...
CATWOMAN
Don’t be shy.

...Batman is there.
83.


CATWOMAN
Wayne says you can get me the
’Clean Slate’.
BATMAN
That depends.
CATWOMAN
On what?
BATMAN
On what you want it for. I acquired
it to keep it out of the wrong
hands.
CATWOMAN
Still don’t trust me, huh? How can
we change that?
BATMAN
Start by taking me to Bane.
CATWOMAN
(shrugs)
You asked.
Catwoman jumps down. Batman follows. Catwoman leads him down
into a service tunnel...


INT. SERVICE TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS
Catwoman speaks over her shoulder as she walks.
CATWOMAN
From here, Bane’s men patrol the
tunnels...and they are not your
average brawlers.
BATMAN
Neither am I.
Catwoman swings into a -

INT. SEWER TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS

A Mercenary patrols. Catwoman comes up behind.
CATWOMAN
He’s behind you.
84.


MERCENARY
(spins)
Who?
Batman hangs upside down behind him.

BATMAN (O.S.)
Me.
Darkness smashes onto the Mercenary. Gunfire in the tunnel.
Catwoman races along, pursued by a Mercenary. He is yanked
off his feet by darkness - he screams...
Batman picks off more and more Mercenaries. Screams echo...
Batman follows Catwoman through the dark tunnel.
CATWOMAN
Just a little further.
A grate slams down, separating them - the lights come on. He
is deep inside.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime"]

Summary Wayne and Miranda share a romantic moment by the fire before Wayne leaves to find Bane. Batman interacts with Catwoman to fight off Bane's mercenaries. The scene ends with Batman and Catwoman facing off against Bane in the dark tunnels beneath Gotham.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Emotional depth and resonance
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
  • Predictable character interactions
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the high stakes and impending danger in the overall plot.
  • The dialogue between Wayne and Miranda feels somewhat generic and lacks depth, especially given the emotional context of the scene.
  • The transition between the intimate moment between Wayne and Miranda to Batman gearing up and heading out feels abrupt and disjointed.
  • The interaction between Catwoman and Batman in the service tunnel lacks the expected chemistry or dynamic between the characters.
  • The action sequence in the sewer tunnel is somewhat predictable and doesn't offer any unique or engaging elements.
Suggestions
  • Add more emotional depth and complexity to the conversation between Wayne and Miranda to make it more engaging and impactful.
  • Consider building more tension and urgency in the scene to reflect the imminent danger facing Gotham and the characters.
  • Work on smoother transitions between different moments in the scene to maintain a cohesive flow.
  • Enhance the interaction between Catwoman and Batman to create a more compelling dynamic between the characters.
  • Introduce more unique and unexpected elements in the action sequence to make it more exciting and memorable.



Scene 25 -  Batman's Back is Broken
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. BANE’S LAIR, SEWERS - CONTINUOUS
Mercenaries look down on him from above. Catwoman turns.
CATWOMAN
I had to find a way to stop them
trying to kill me.
BATMAN
You’ve made a serious mistake.
BANE (O.S.)
Not as serious as yours, I fear.
Batman turns. Bane emerges from behind the waterfalls.
BATMAN
Bane.
BANE
Let’s not stand on ceremony here,
Mr. Wayne.

Catwoman hears the name. Less sure of what she’s done.
Batman moves at Bane - strikes powerful blows - Bane catches
his fist.
BANE
Peace has cost you strength.
Victory has defeated you.
85.


Bane SMASHES Batman back - kicks him off the catwalk -
Batman drops, uses his cape to land. Bane climbs down on a
chain - his men watch in disciplined silence - Batman hurls
flashbangs at Bane, who doesn’t flinch.

BANE
Theatricality and deception are
powerful agents...to the
uninitiated.
Batman lashes out at Bane - Bane counters - they separate.

BANE
But we are initiated, aren’t we,
Bruce? The League of Shadows. And
you betrayed us...

BATMAN
Us? You were excommunicated. From a
gang of psychopaths.
BANE
Now I am the Legue of Shadows, here
to fulfill Rā’s al Ghūl’s
destiny...
Batman hurls himself at bane, throwing his into the
waterfall, where he smashes his fists and gauntlets into
Bane’s mask again and again, water cascading over them.

Bane is not moving. Just taking the blows. Batman pauses.
Bane’s arms SHOOT OUT, SMASHING Batman aside - Bane RISES...
BANE
You fight like a younger man.
Nothing held back. No reserves.
Admirable. But mistaken.
Batman hits a switch on his belt - the lights go out - Bane
turns slowly addressing all the shadows at once.

BANE
You think darkness is your ally.
But you merely adopted the dark. I
was born in it. Formed by it...

In the shadows, Batman circles, looking to strike...
BANE
I didn’t see the light until I was
already a man. And by then it was
nothing to me but blinding...
86.


Bane lunges backwards into the darkness - Batman’s throat in
his grasp.
BANE
The shadows betray you, because
they belong to me...

Bane SMASHES him into the ground, POUNDING, pounding,
pounding the hard cowl with his bare fists until it CRACKS.
Bane RISES from Batman, gestures to the ceiling of the
chamber - explosive charges have been drilled into holes...
BANE
I will show you where I’ve made my
home while preparing to bring
justice. Then...I will break you.

A Mercenary tosses Bane a detonator - Batman watches through
cracked cowl - Bane hits the detonator - explosions BURST
over his head as the ceiling CRUMBLES revealing:
Applied Sciences - Bane has dropped the bottom out of Fox’s
weapons store...a camouflage Tumbler rests in the rubble.
BATMAN
No...
BANE
Your precious armory. Gratefully
accepted. We will need it.

INT. APPLIED SCIENCES - CONTINUOUS

Mercenaries race through the stacks of equipment...

INT. BANE’S LAIR, SEWERS - CONTINUOUS
Batman climbs to his feet, swaying. Bane approaches.

BANE
I wondered which would break first
- your spirit...

Batman SWINGS at him - misses - Bane GRABS him, lifts him
HIGH.
...or your body.
Bane brings Batman down onto his knee, BREAKING his back
with a horrific CRACK.
87.


In the shadows, Catwoman looks on. Shocked. Bane crouches to
pull the broken cowl off the broken Wayne. Mercenaries lift
Wayne’s body and carry him off... Bane stares into the
hollow eyes of his trophy...

Catwoman slinks back into the shadows, and we -
FADE TO BLACK.
FADE IN:


EXT. WAYNE MANOR - DAY
Blake’s cruiser pulls up. He noses up to the windows.
Nothing.


EXT. SELINA’S BUILDING, OLD TOWN, GOTHAM - DAY
Blake sits in his cruiser. Selina exits, wide-brimmed hat,
bags. Blake recognizes her. She hails a cab.

BLAKE
(into radio)
Get Commissioner Gordon. Tell him
I’ve got a line on the
Congressman’s kidnapping.

Blake pulls out to follow.

INT. TERMINAL, GOTHAM INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY
Selina moves through the terminal. She clocks a Uniform Cop
staring at her - ducks down a service hallway.

INT. SERVICE HALLWAY, AIRPORT - CONTINUOUS
The Uniform rounds the corner to find Selina applying
make-up.
UNIFORM
Excuse me, Miss. I need to see your
ticket and identification, please.

Selina, surprised, fumbles with her purse.
SELINA
Would you mind?
88.


She hands the Uniform her had - punches him through the
brim, stuffs him in a closet - plants her mangled hat on his
head.


INT. JETWAY, AIRPORT - MOMENTS LATER
Selina makes her way down the jetway - spots Security at the
far end - turns - Blake smiles at her. Badge in hand.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime","Drama"]

Summary Batman and Catwoman confront Bane in his lair, where Bane reveals his plan to fulfill Ra's al Ghul's destiny. They engage in a fierce battle, but Bane overpowers Batman and breaks his back. Catwoman, horrified, flees the scene as Bane prepares to kill the helpless Batman.
Strengths
  • Intense confrontation between Batman and Bane
  • Sharp and impactful dialogue
  • High emotional impact
  • Significant character development
Weaknesses
  • Some elements of the fight scene may be overly dramatic or unrealistic
Critique
  • The scene is intense and action-packed, with a good balance of dialogue and physical confrontation.
  • The dialogue between Batman and Bane is engaging and reveals their conflicting ideologies and history.
  • The fight choreography is well-described and keeps the reader engaged in the action sequences.
  • The use of shadows and darkness to create tension and atmosphere is effective in setting the tone of the scene.
  • The scene effectively builds up the conflict between Batman and Bane, leading to a dramatic climax.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Batman to give insight into his mindset during the fight.
  • Provide more context or background information on Catwoman's reaction to the confrontation between Batman and Bane.
  • Explore the aftermath of Batman's defeat and how it impacts the characters and the overall story.
  • Consider adding more descriptive details to enhance the visual imagery and create a more immersive experience for the reader.
  • Ensure a smooth transition between the action sequences and the dialogue to maintain the pacing of the scene.



Scene 26 -  The Dark Knight Rises: Interrogations and Captives
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM, AIRPORT - DAY
Selina, now in cuffs, looks up as Blake walks in.
BLAKE
I showed your picture to the
Congressman and guess what?
SELINA
Don’t tell me, still in love?
BLAKE
Head over heels. Pressing charges,
though.
Blake lays a police file down with a thump.
You’ve made some mistakes, Ms.
Kyle.

SELINA
Girl’s gonna eat.
BLAKE
You have an appetite. Why run? You
can’t hide from us with this
record.
SELINA
Maybe it’s not you I’m running
from.
BLAKE
Who then? Bane? What do you know
about him?

SELINA
(quiet)
That you should be as afraid of him
as I am.
89.


BLAKE
We can offer you protection...
Selina looks at him with contempt. Blake shrugs, switches
off the tape, moves to the door.

BLAKE
When I spotted you, I was looking
for a friend...Bruce Wayne.
Selina turns to look at Blake. His eyes plead with her.

BLAKE
Did the kill him?
SELINA
I’m not sure.

And we -
CUT TO:
BLACK SCREEN. Sounds: screaming, laughing, CRYING. Sights:
LIGHT, bodies FALLING, a DARK SKULL... And we are -

INT. STONE CELL - DAWN
Wayne opens his eyes. Unshaven. Filthy. Someone else is in
the cell - Wayne cannot move to look - even the attempt is
painful...the skull drifts into his sight. Bane. Squatting
at Wayne’s bedside, muscled shoulders curving into his mask.
WAYNE
Why didn’t you just kill me?

BANE
You don’t fear death. You welcome
it. Your punishment is to be more
severe.

WAYNE
(scathing)
You’re a torturer...
BANE
Yes. But not of your body. Of your
soul.
Wayne exhales. Eyes losing focus from sheer pain.
90.


WAYNE
Where am I?
BANE
Home.

Wayne’s eyes dart about: filthy stone walls, distant
sunlight from above, iron bars: an underground prison.
Where I learned the truth about
despair. As will you. (Rises.)
There is a reason that this prison
is the worst hell on earth...
Bane steps to the bars - looks up at a bright opening five
hundred feet above. Like being at the bottom of a gigantic
well...
Hope. Every man who has rotted here
over the centuries has looked up to
the light and imagined climbing to
freedom. So simple. So easy. And,
like shipwrecked men turning to sea
water from uncontrollable thirst,
many have died trying. I learned
that there can be no true despair
without hope. (Turns to Wayne.) So
as I terrorize Gotham, I will feed
its people hope to poison their
souls. I will let them believe they
can survive so that you can watch
them clamber over each other to
stay in the sun...
Bane points to an old TV, just outside the bars.
You will watch as I torture an
entire city to cause you pain you
thought you could never feel again.
Then, when you have truly
understood the depths of your
failure, we will fulfill Rā’s al
Ghūl’s destiny. We will destroy
Gotham. And when it is done...when
Gotham is ashes...then you have my
permission to die.
Bane rises. Leaves. Wayne drifts back to unconsciousness.


EXT. BLACKGATE PRISON - DAY
A van pulls through the gate. Selina, inside the van, looks
up at the formidable grey building.
91.

INT. BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS
Guards lead Selina down the cells. Whistles and catcalls.

GUARD
We’re locking her up in here?
WARDEN
The Dent Act allows non-segregation
based on extraordinary need. First
time she broke out of women’s
correctional she was sixteen.
Selina passes a Huge Inmate who strains through the bars...

HUGE INMATE
Little closer, baby...
SELINA
Why, honey, you wanna hold my hand?

Without breaking step, she slips his outstretched hands
between her handcuffed ones and cartwheels, snapping his
arms - he screams in agony - she keeps walking...
WARDEN
She’ll be just fine.


INT. WAYNE ENTERPRISES - DAY
Fox comes out of the elevator with Miranda.

FOX
I don’t see the need for a board
meeting on the energy project -
MIRANDA
Bruce got a lot of things right.
Keeping the board in the dark
wasn’t one of them...
Fox swings the doors to the boardroom open...


INT. BOARDROOM, WAYNE ENTERPRISES - CONTINUOUS
The board is there. Scared. At the head of the table - Bane.
BANE
This meeting is called to order.
Fox and Miranda freeze. Staring at the mask.
92.


BANE
Chair and President. I also need
one ordinary member - Mr. Fox,
would you care to nominate?

FREDERICKS
No. I volunteer.
The dignified older board member gets to his feet.
Mercernaries round the three up.

FOX
Where are you taking us?
BANE
Where you buried your resources.
The bowels of Gotham.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime"]

Summary Selina Kyle is arrested and interrogated by Detective Blake. She refuses to cooperate and warns Blake about Bane. Wayne is tortured by Bane, who reveals his plan to destroy Gotham. Fox and Miranda are taken hostage by Bane.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High-stakes conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
  • Predictable character actions
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Selina being interrogated by Blake to Wayne waking up in a stone cell being tortured by Bane, which may be disorienting for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Selina and Blake feels a bit rushed and lacks depth, especially considering the gravity of the situation. More emotional depth and tension could be added to enhance the scene.
  • The exposition provided by Bane in the stone cell feels a bit heavy-handed and could be delivered in a more subtle and engaging manner.
  • The transition from Selina being escorted to a cell in Blackgate Prison to Fox and Miranda entering the boardroom at Wayne Enterprises feels disjointed and could be smoother.
  • The introduction of Bane presiding over the board meeting at Wayne Enterprises is a powerful moment, but the impact could be heightened with more build-up and tension.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the interrogation room and the stone cell scene to improve the flow of the narrative.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Selina and Blake to add more depth and emotional resonance to the scene.
  • Find a more subtle and engaging way to deliver Bane's exposition in the stone cell to avoid heavy-handedness.
  • Work on creating a seamless transition between Selina's arrival at Blackgate Prison and the boardroom scene at Wayne Enterprises for better continuity.
  • Build up the tension and anticipation leading to Bane's reveal in the boardroom at Wayne Enterprises to maximize the impact of the scene.



Scene 27 -  Batman's Disappearance and Kidnappings
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
Gordon, with a Nurse’s help, pulls himself to a seated
position as Blake watches.

GORDON
So you think our friend is gone
again?
BLAKE
(grave)
This time...he might not be coming
back.
Gordon takes this in...Foley bursts in, agitated.

FOLEY
Okay, Commissioner, you were tight.
GORDON
What’s happened?

FOLEY
Your masked man kidnapped the Wayne
Enterprises board. He let most of
them go, but took three down into
the sewers.

GORDON
No more patrols, no more hide and
seek. Send every available cop
down there to smoke him out.
93.


FOLEY
The Mayor won’t want panic -
BLAKE
So it’s a training exercise.

Foley looks at Gordon.
FOLEY
I’m sorry for not taking you
seriously -

GORDON
Don’t apologize for believing the
world’s in better shape then it
is...just fight to make it true.

Foley nods. Leaves. Blake gets up.
GORDON
Not you. You’re telling me the
Batman’s gone. So you chase up the
Daggett leads, any way you can.

Blake nods.

INT. STONE CELL, UNDERGROUND PRISON - DAY

Wayne lies, weak, feverish. A Prisoner drips water onto his
parched lips. An elderly Blind Prisoner squatting by the
wall in the next cell rasps something in an ancient tongue.
PRISONER
He asks if you would pay us to let
you die. I told him you have
nothing.
WAYNE
Do it for the pleasure.

The Prisoner puts bread to Wayne’s lips.
PRISONER
They pay me more than that to keep
you alive.

A chant gets Wayne’s attention. He rolls his head painfully
to watch a Tattooed Prisoner hand a thick rope to a Strong
Man, who ties it around his chest, watched by other
Prisoners.
94.


PRISONER
He will try the climb.
String Man starts scaling the wall. The Prisoners’ chant
grows stronger as he climbs towards the light.

Above: Strong Man stops, perched on a ledge, a twelve-foot
leap from the rest of the climb... The chanting peaks as
Strong Man leaps...misses...falls. The rope catches - he
swings into the rock face. Prisoners fall silent as Strong
Man is lowered, broken, bloody, to the prison floor.

WAYNE
Has anyone made it?
PRISONER
Of course not.

The Blind Prisoner barks at him.
WAYNE
What does he say?

PRISONER
He says there is one who did. A
child...
INSERT CUT: a child of about ten looks up towards the light.

PRISONER
A child who had been born in this
hell...
WAYNE
Bane.

PRISONER
An old legend. Nothing more.
The Prisoner leaves Wayne’s cell - switches on the TV.

WAYNE
Don’t.
PRISONER
Whatever they want you to
see...it’s happening soon.
95.


INT. BANE’S LAIR, SEWERS - DAY
Bane’s men lead Fox, Miranda and Fredericks through the
debris. Fox stares at Mercenaries working on his old
inventions...


EXT. LOCATIONS AROUND GOTHAM - EVENING
SWATs and Cops mass around entrances to sewers, tunnels...


INT. MASSIVE TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS
Bane leads Fox and the others to where Mercenaries plant
charges on a hewn wall. Dr. Pavel is here. Waiting. Bane
nods at his men. The wall blows.


EXT. LOCATIONS AROUND GOTHAM - CONTINUOUS
A SWAT team about to enter a sewer pipe hear a low echoing
boom. They look at each other, then head in. Thousands of
Police head into manholes, tunnel entrances, checking
weapons, using flashlights...

INT. MASSIVE TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS

Bane leads the way over rubble into the REACTOR. Dr. Pavel
follows. Bane approaches the machine. Turns to Fox.
BANE
Turn it on.

Fox shakes his head. Bane holds his gun to Fredericks’ head.
BANE
I only need one other board member.
There are eight more waiting
upstairs.

FOX
I won’t do it.
Fredericks trembles. Bane cocks the weapon.

MIRANDA
Alright, stop.
She walks up to the scanner. Places her hand on it. It
beeps. She turns to Fox. Quietly pleading.
96.

MIRANDA
Lucius, you’ll kill this man and
yourself, and barely slow them
down.
Fox reluctantly puts his hand on the scanner. Then
Fredericks. The core glows brighter and brighter. Dr. Pavel
is transfixed.

BANE
Do your work.
Bane turns to his men. Gestures at the hostages.
Take them to the surface. People of
their status deserve to see the
next era of western civilization.
Fox, Miranda and Fredericks are led back into the rubble.

EXT. GOTHAM STADIUM - DAY

The Mayor, flanked by Security, talks to a crowd of
Reporters.
REPORTER
We’re seeing literally thousands of
police heading into the sewers -
MAYOR
A training exercise, that’s all. If
you’ll excuse me, I’ve got tickets
to watch our boys thrash Rapid
City.
The Mayor heads into the stadium with the crowds...
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary - Commissioner Gordon and Lieutenant Blake discuss the disappearance of Batman and the kidnapping of the Wayne Enterprises board. - Gordon orders all available police officers to search the sewers for the kidnapper, and Blake is assigned to investigate leads on Daggett. - Bruce Wayne is imprisoned in an underground cell and witnesses an escape attempt by a fellow prisoner. - Bane forces Lucius Fox, Miranda Tate, and Dr. Fredericks to activate a reactor at Gotham Stadium.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High stakes
  • Suspenseful tone
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel exposition-heavy at times
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Gordon and Blake discussing the disappearance of Batman to Wayne in a stone cell being tortured by Bane, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth in the interactions between the characters in the hospital room, making it difficult for the audience to connect with their struggles and motivations.
  • The dialogue feels a bit forced and lacks subtlety, especially in the exchange between Gordon and Foley about sending cops to smoke out the masked man.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, with important plot points and character developments being introduced without proper build-up or resolution.
  • The visual descriptions are lacking in detail, making it hard to visualize the settings and actions taking place in the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more context and smoother transitions between different storylines to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Focus on developing the emotional depth of the characters to make their struggles and decisions more impactful and relatable to the audience.
  • Work on refining the dialogue to make it more natural and reflective of the characters' personalities and motivations.
  • Slow down the pacing of the scene to allow for proper development of plot points and character interactions.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more vivid and immersive experience for the audience.



Scene 28 -  Bane's Underground Trap
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. SEWERS - CONTINUOUS
Hundreds of SWATs wade, flashlights swinging, heading
towards the center... Teams are converging from different
entry points...


INT./EXT. CRUISER ON GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS
Blake is on the phone.
BLAKE
I’ve been to half Daggett’s cement
plants, logged locations they’ve
poured for underground
construction...
97.


GORDON (O.S.)
Anything strange about the
pourings?
Blake glances at a large map - dots mark pouring locations.

BLAKE
Honestly, Commissioner, I don’t
know anything about civil
engineering.

GORDON
But you know about patterns. Keep
looking.
Blake pulls up in front of a cement plant.


INT. REACTOR PLANT - CONTINUOUS
Dr. Pavel finishes his work. Turns to Bane. Grave.
DR. PAVEL
It’s done. This is now a
four-megaton nuclear bomb.
BANE
(to his men)
Pull the core out of the reactor.

DR. PAVEL
(horrified)
You can’t. This is the only power
source capable of sustaning it - if
you move it, the core will decay in
a matter of months.
BANE
Five, by my calculations.

DR. PAVEL
And then it will go off.
BANE
For the sake of your family, Dr.
Pavel, I hope so.

Dr. Pavel stares as Mercenaries start to disconnect the
core...
98.

EXT. CEMENT PLANT - CONTINUOUS
Blake is led through a fence by a Worker.

WORKER
Boss is about to leave.
Blake walks past cement mixers. Spots someone. A Driver.

BLAKE
Hey.
The Driver turns.
BLAKE
That was you outside the stock
exchange, right?
DRIVER
When?

BLAKE
When? When half the city’s cops
were trying to pull onto Castle
Street and your truck shut them
out.

DRIVER
Oh yeah. You’re that cop -
BLAKE
Detective, now.

Behind Blake the Worker puts his hand is his pocket...
BLAKE
And as a detective...I’m not
allowed to believe in coincidences
anymore -
Blake spins, drawing his weapon. The Worker lunges with a
knife, Blake smashes his hand to one side and shoots him.
The Driver grabs him from behind. Blake wrestles, but the
Driver is string, trained. Blake can’t aim his gun, he fires
behind, into a steel mixer - the bullets ricochet, one
catches the Driver in the back and he goes down... Blake,
gasping, kneels beside the Driver.
BLAKE
What were you doing?! What?!

The man dies. Blake looks down at his gun. Disgusted. Tosses
is down. Pulls out his phone. Dials.
99.


BLAKE
Commissioner, I’m at the Fourteenth
Street plant with two dead
witnesses and a lot of questions.
Call me -

Blake freezes, stooped to pick up his gun. Looking at some
empty barrels...
Commissioner, they’ve got
Polyisobutylene here... (Looks
around.) And motor oil. They
weren’t making cement, they were
making explosives -

INT./EXT. CRUISER OUTSIDE CEMENT PLANT - MOMENTS LATER

Blake grabs his carts - scanning the pattern of the dots -
realizes.
BLAKE
Oh, God.

Blake fires up the cruiser and pulls out, hard.

INT./EXT. CRUISER ON GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS
Blake is driving furiously, shouting into the radio -

BLAKE
Patch me into Foley!
DISPATCH
(over radio)
Foley’s overseeing the operation -
BLAKE
They’re heading into a trap!


EXT. MTA TUNNEL - MOMENTS LATER (DAY)
Foley, concerned, takes the radio from a colleague.
FOLEY
Foley.
BLAKE
It’s a trap! Pull everyone out!
Bane’s been pouring concrete laced
with explosives -
100.


FOLEY
Where?
BLAKE
There’s a ring around the tunnels -
they’re gonna blow it and trap the
cops underground!
Foley looks up with dread at the mouth of the tunnel.
FOLEY
Pull out! Pull ’em out!

INT. BOILER ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Mercenaries rise from a hole in the floor - Bane emerges...


INT. GOTHAM STADIUM - CONTINUOUS
The Mayor, in a corporate box, mouths the National Anthem...


INT. LOCKER ROOM TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS
The Mercenaries pull out detonators. Bane listens to the
kickoff like a hunting dog sensing the wind...decides.

BANE
Let the games begin.
The Mercenaries hit the detonators.


INT. SEWERS - CONTINUOUS
SWATs react - the tunnel roof behind collapses... Chunks of
concrete structure drop - thousands of police throughout
different tunnels are trapped...
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime","Drama"]

Summary Blake uncovers Bane's plan to trap the police underground using cement plants as explosive factories. Despite Blake's warning, the officers are trapped as Bane's mercenaries detonate explosives, sealing off their escape routes.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • High stakes and tension
  • Revealing antagonist's plan
  • Character development and growth
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel exposition-heavy
  • Limited emotional depth in certain character interactions
Critique
  • The scene transitions between multiple locations and characters quite rapidly, which can make it challenging for the audience to keep track of the unfolding events.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth and character development in this scene, which could make it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters and their motivations.
  • The dialogue feels a bit rushed and lacks nuance, which can impact the overall impact of the scene.
  • The action sequences are described in a straightforward manner, without much attention to building tension or suspense.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive setting for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider slowing down the pacing of the scene to allow for more character development and emotional depth.
  • Add more depth to the dialogue to reveal the characters' motivations and inner conflicts.
  • Enhance the action sequences by focusing on building tension and suspense through descriptive language.
  • Provide more visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive setting for the audience.
  • Consider restructuring the scene to improve the flow and coherence of the multiple locations and events.



Scene 29 -  Gotham's Liberation and Nuclear Threat
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. GOTHAM STADIUM - CONTINUOUS
The crowd goes wild as a Receiver catches - starts a run -
the Mayor looks on, suddenly confused.

As the Receiver sprints for the end zone, the field behind
him DROPS away in smoking ruins, swallowing Players...
The crowd is not cheering but SCREAMING... The Mayor’s box
EXPLODES...
101.


The Receiver, nearing the touchdown, glances back - sees
Armageddon - the entire field is now a smoking mass of
rubble, but for one strip of turf...Mercenaries pour out of
the tunnel, creating a gauntlet...


INT./EXT. CRUISER ON GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS
Blake’s cruiser swerves to avoid eruptions of asphalt. An
eruption TOSSES Blake’s cruiser onto its roof.


EXT. GOTHAM RIVER - CONTINUOUS
All bridges, except the Gotham Bridge, suffer controlled
demolitions.


INT. LOCKER ROOM TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS
Bane steps into the smoking stadium, a gladiator walking
into the arena...TV cameras swing onto him. Passing a dead
umpire, he takes the men’s headset - surveys the screaming
crowd, lifts an arm for silence, raises the mike to his
mask.
BANE
Gotham, take control of your
city...


INT./EXT. OVERTURNED CRUISER ON GOTHAM STREET - CONTINUOUS
Blake squeezes out of his cruiser, reaches in for the radio.

BLAKE
Foley?
FOLEY
(over radio)
Jesus, Blake! Every cop in the
city’s down in those tunnels!
BLAKE
(realizes)
Not every cop...

Blake pulls the shotgun from his cruiser - flags down a car.
102.


INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Gordon’s heart-rate monitor alarms. Gordon wakes, groggy...

INT. HOSPITAL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

Patients and Doctors crowd the entrance. mercenaries with
automatic weapons force their way in - hit the stairwell.


INT./EXT. CAR GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS
Blake drives, swerving around dazed and terrified people.
Flames and smoke billow from the sewers.


EXT. GOTHAM HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS
Blake races up to the hospital entrance.

INT. CORRIDOR, GOTHAM HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS

Two Mercenaries move room to room, searching.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Gordon pulls himself out of his bed, wheeling his IV.

INT. CORRIDOR, HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS
Blake jumps into the corridor, gun raised. Shots echo down
the hall - Blake sprints.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Blake leaps into the room, gun high - freezes as warm metal
touches the base of his skull.
GORDON (O.S.)
Clear the corners, rookie.
Blake turns. Gordon holds his service weapon. The
Mercenaries are on the ground, dead.
GORDON
Get my coat, son.
103.


EXT. GOTHAM STADIUM - CONTINUOUS
Mercenaries pull the glowing core onto the field.
BANE
This is the instrument of your
liberation...

INT. PENTAGON WAR ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Analysts and military personnel assess the situation.
ANALYST
Satellite shows a radiation
spike...

ANALYST 2
Whatever it is...it’s nuclear.

EXT. GOTHAM STADIUM - CONTINUOUS

The Mercenaries thrust Dr. Pavel to his knees before Bane.
BANE
Identify yourself to the world.
DR. PAVEL
Dr. Leonid Pavel, nuclear
physicist.
Bane turns Dr. Pavel’s head for the cameras.


INT. PENTAGON WAR ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Armed Forces and Intelligence staff scramble to verify.
CIA ANALYST
Pavel was confirmed dead - plane
crash on an Agency pull-out of
Uzbekistan... But it certainly
looks like him -
He points to a monitor with a photo of Dr. Pavel. An Air
Force General rubs his chin, thinking, nervous.
104.


EXT. SKIES ABOVE GOTHAM - CONTINUOUS
F-22’s streak over the river, sizing up the island.

EXT. GOTHAM STADIUM - CONTINUOUS

Bane rests his powerful hand on Dr. Pavel’s shoulder.
BANE
Tell the world what this is.

DR. PAVEL
A fully primed neutron bomb. With a
blast radius of six miles.
BANE
And who can disarm this device?
DR. PAVEL
Only me.
BANE
Thank you, Doctor.
Bane snaps Dr. Pavel’s neck in front of the world.
BANE
The bomb is armed, the bomb is
mobile, the identity of the
triggerman is a mystery. One of you
holds the detonator - we come not
as conquerors, but as liberators to
return control of this city to the
people. At the first sign of
interference from the outside world
or of people attempting to flee,
this anonymous Gothamite, this
unsung hero, will trigger the bomb.
For now, martial law is in effect.
Return to your homes, hold your
families close, and wait. Tomorrow
you claim what is rightfully yours.
Bane turns, leaves the field, followed by his men.


INT. PENTAGON WAR ROOM - CONTINUOUS
The General breaks the silence.
105.


GENERAL
Pull back the fighters, start
high-level reconnaissance flights.
And get the President on the line.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Gotham Stadium's football game is interrupted by a catastrophic field collapse, explosions, and the appearance of mercenaries led by Bane. As chaos ensues, bridges are destroyed and Police Officer Blake navigates the mayhem to reach the hospital, where Commissioner Gordon awakens armed. At the stadium, Bane declares Gotham's liberation and reveals a nuclear bomb, killing Dr. Pavel who possessed the disarm details. The citizens are trapped and fearful, as Bane establishes martial law and threatens nuclear destruction.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • High-stakes situation
  • Compelling characters
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be overwhelming for the audience due to the complexity of the plot and multiple storylines
Critique
  • The scene starts with a dramatic and chaotic event at the Gotham Stadium, which is visually striking and sets a tense and suspenseful tone.
  • There is a good use of action and description to create a sense of urgency and danger, especially with the explosions and the collapse of the field behind the Receiver.
  • The introduction of Bane and his menacing presence adds to the escalating tension and threat in the scene.
  • The transition between different locations and characters is well-handled, providing a comprehensive view of the unfolding events.
  • The dialogue between Bane and Dr. Pavel effectively establishes the high stakes and the imminent danger posed by the neutron bomb.
  • The scene effectively sets up the impending chaos and destruction that Bane plans to unleash on Gotham, creating a sense of impending doom.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for the characters, especially the Mayor and the Receiver, to enhance the impact of the unfolding events.
  • Provide more context or background information on the characters and their motivations to deepen the audience's connection to the unfolding crisis.
  • Explore opportunities to build more suspense and tension leading up to the reveal of the neutron bomb and Bane's intentions, to further engage the audience.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the chaotic and high-stakes environment of the scene.
  • Ensure a clear and smooth flow of action and dialogue to maintain the momentum and intensity of the scene throughout.



Scene 30 -  Cross the Bridge
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. GOTHAM BRIDGE - SUNSET
Mercenaries hold the bridge. A tank rolls across from the
mainland, soldiers behind. The Lead Mercenary uses a
bullhorn.

LEAD MERCENARY
Tanks and planes cannot stop us
detonating our device. Send an
emissary to discuss terms of access
for supplies and communication.

A Captain steps forward, walks to the apex of the bridge.
CAPTAIN
How many of you are there, son?
(Nothing.) You don’t have enough
men to stop twelve million people
leaving that island.
LEAD MERCENARY
We don’t. But you do.

CAPTAIN
Why in the hell would we help you
keep your hostages?
LEAD MERCENARY
If people start crossing this
bridge Gotham gets blown to hell.
The Captain considers this. Troubled.


EXT. SKIES ABOVE GOTHAM - CONTINUOUS
As night falls the F-22’s peel away from the fire-ringed
city. The voice of the President echoes across the
airwaves...

PRESIDENT
(over radio)
The people of our greatest city are
resilient. They have proven this
before, they will prove this
again...
106.


INT. STONE CELL, UNDERGROUND PRISON - CONTINUOUS
Wayne stares at the old TV. At his burning city.
PRESIDENT
(over TV)
We do not negotiate with
terrorists, but we do recognize
realities...
Wayne starts to cry.


INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS (NIGHT)
Blake drives the deserted streets. Gordon is slumped in the
passenger seat, listening.

PRESIDENT
(over radio)
As the situation develops, one
thing must be understood above all
others... People of Gotham, we have
not abandoned you.
BLAKE
What does that mean?
GORDON
It means we’re on our own. I have
to get in front of a camera -
BLAKE
Sir, they’ll kill you the second
you show your face -

GORDON
The Mayor’s dead. I’m the symbol of
law and order. Bane says he’s
giving Gotham back to the people -
they need to know that I could
lead.
BLAKE
Bane’s not gonna let that happen -

GORDON
Then he’ll show his true colors.
BLAKE
And you’ll be dead.

Gordon says nothing.
107.


EXT. GOTHAM STREET - DAY
Three camouflage Tumblers roll down the deserted street.

EXT. BLACKGATE PRISON - MOMENTS LATER

A crowd of news crews has gathered. Guards in the towers
look down, apprehensive. The Tumblers roll up, stopping in
front of the gates. Bane emerges from the lead Tumbler.

BANE
Behind you stands a symbol of
oppression. Blackgate Prison...

INT. CELLBLOCK, BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS

Prisoners strain to hear Bane’s words. Selina is there.
BANE (O.S.)
Where a thousand men have
languished for years. Under the
Dent Act. Under the name of this
man -

EXT. BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS

Bane holds up a photo of Harvey Dent.
BANE
Harvey Dent. Held up to you, and
over you, as a shining example of
justice and good...


INT. BLAKE’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Gordon sits watching Bane’s speech. Blake gathers supplies.

BLAKE
We’re gonna keep moving you, till
we can get you in front of a camera
-


EXT. BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS
Bane sets fire to the picture of Dent...
108.


BANE
But they supplied you a false idol.
A straw man. To placate. To stop
you tearing down this corrupt
city...


INT. CELLBLOCK, BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS
The Prisoners start cheering, shouting.

BANE (O.S.)
...and rebuilding it the way it
should have been rebuilt
generations ago...


EXT. BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS
Bane drops the burning picture.
BANE
Let me tell you the truth about
Harvey Dent. In the words of
Gotham’s Police Commissioner, James
Gordon...

INT. BLAKE’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

This gets Blake’s attention. Gordon watches, uneasy...

EXT. BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS

Bane unfolds the pages of Gordon’s undelivered speech...
BANE
’The truth about Harvey Dent is
simple in only one regard - it has
been hidden for too long. After his
devastating injuries, Harvey’s mind
has recovered no better than his
mutilated face. He was a broken,
dangerous man, not the crusader for
justice that I, James Gordon, have
portrayed him to be for the last
eight years. Harvey’s rage was
indiscriminate. Psychopathic. He
held my family at gunpoint, then
fell to his death in the struggle
over my son’s life. The Batman did
not murder Harvey Dent - he saved
(MORE)
109.


BANE (cont’d)
my boy. Then took the blame for
Harvey’s appalling crimes, so that
I could, to my shame, build a lie
around this fallen idol.’


INT. BLAKE’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Blake stares at the TV, Gordon’s face lowers into his
hands...

BANE (V.O.)
’I praised the madman who tried to
murder my own child.’
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Mercenaries hold a bridge, preventing people from leaving Gotham. The Captain asks how many men they have and is told that they don't have enough to stop the people of Gotham from leaving, but he does. The Captain asks why they would help the mercenaries keep their hostages and the mercenary responds that if people start crossing the bridge, Gotham will be blown to hell. The Captain considers this and looks troubled. The scene then cuts to the skies above Gotham as night falls and F-22's peel away from the city. The voice of the President can be heard over the radio, saying that the people of Gotham are resilient and that they will not abandon them. The scene then cuts to inside a stone cell where Wayne is watching the burning city on TV. The President's voice can be heard over the TV saying that they do not negotiate with terrorists, but that they recognize realities. Wayne starts to cry. The scene then cuts to inside a car where Blake is driving and Gordon is slumped in the passenger seat. The President's voice can be heard over the radio saying that the people of Gotham have not been abandoned. Blake asks what that means and Gordon says that it means they're on their own. Gordon says that he has to get in front of a camera and Blake says that they will kill him the second he shows his face. Gordon says that the Mayor is dead and that he is the symbol of law and order. He says that Bane is giving Gotham back to the people and that they need to know that he could lead. Blake says that Bane will not let that happen and Gordon says that then he will show his true colors. Blake says that Gordon will be dead and Gordon says nothing. The scene then cuts to an exterior shot of three camouflage Tumblers rolling down a deserted street. The scene then cuts to Blackgate Prison where a crowd of news crews has gathered and Bane emerges from the lead Tumbler. Bane holds up a photo of Harvey Dent and says that he is a symbol of oppression. He says that Harvey Dent was a broken, dangerous man and that he was not the crusader for justice that Gordon had portrayed him to be. He says that Harvey's rage was indiscriminate and psychopathic and that he held Gordon's family at gunpoint. He says that the Batman did not murder Harvey Dent, but that he saved Gordon's boy and then took the blame for Harvey's crimes so that Gordon could build a lie around him. He says that he praised the madman who tried to murder his own child. The scene then cuts to Blake's apartment where Blake is watching the TV and Gordon's face lowers into his hands as Bane reads Gordon's undelivered speech.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
  • Revelation of past secrets
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
  • Certain plot points may require prior knowledge of the Batman universe
Critique
  • The scene lacks clear transitions between the different locations and events, making it feel disjointed and confusing for the audience.
  • The dialogue between the Lead Mercenary and the Captain feels forced and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters and their motivations.
  • The visual descriptions are minimal and do not effectively convey the tension and urgency of the situation, resulting in a lack of visual impact.
  • The scene lacks emotional depth and fails to explore the internal struggles and conflicts of the characters, making it feel superficial and one-dimensional.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven, with abrupt shifts in tone and pacing that disrupt the flow of the narrative.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more descriptive language to set the scene and create a sense of atmosphere and tension.
  • Develop the dialogue between the Lead Mercenary and the Captain to reveal more about their motivations and the stakes of the situation.
  • Focus on building emotional depth by exploring the internal conflicts and struggles of the characters, particularly the Captain and the Lead Mercenary.
  • Work on creating smoother transitions between the different locations and events to improve the overall coherence of the scene.
  • Consider adding more visual elements to enhance the impact of the scene and engage the audience on a visual level.



Scene 31 -  Gotham's Rebellion
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS
The crowd is silent, stunned, as Bane continues to read.
BANE
’The things we did in Harvey’s name
brought desperately needed security
to our streets... But I can no
longer live with my lie. It is time
to trust the people of Gotham with
the truth, and it is time for me to
resign.’

Bane folds the papers. Looks out to the stunned crowd.
Do you accept this man’s
resignation?

Individuals in the crows start shouting ’Yes!’

INT. CELLBLOCK, BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS
Prisoners cheer, pounding against the bars. Selina
watches...

EXT. BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS
BANE
Do you accept the resignation of
all the liars?! All the corrupt?!
More and more of the crowd is chanting ’Yes!’
110.


INT. BLAKE’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Blake turns to Gordon, who stares at the TV.
BLAKE
These men, locked up in Blackgate
for eight years, denied parole
under the Dent Act. Based on a lie.
GORDON
A lie to keep a city from burning
to the ground. Gotham needed a
hero, someone to believe in -
BLAKE
Not as much as it does now. But you
betrayed everything you stood for.

GORDON
(looks at Blake)
There’s a point. Far out there.
When the structures fail you. When
the rules aren’t weapons anymore,
they’re shackles, letting the bad
get ahead. Maybe one day you’ll
have such a moment of crisis. And
in that moment, I hope you have a
friend like I did. To plunge their
hands into the filth so you can
keep yours clean.
BLAKE
Your hands look pretty filthy to
me, Commissioner.

Gordon stares at him. Blake goes back to packing.

EXT. BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS

Bane signals a Tumbler - its turret turns to the prison
doors.
BANE
We take Gotham from the corrupt.
The rich. The oppressors of
generations who’ve kept you down
with the myth of opportunity. And
we give it to you, the people.
Gotham is yours - none shall
interfere. Do as you please...

The Tumbler fires, blowing the doors to hell.
(MORE)
111.


BANE (cont’d)
But start by storming Blackgate and
freeing the oppressed... Step
forward, those who would serve...

Bane’s men surge through the burning gates...

INT. BLACKGATE PRISON - CONTINUOUS
Selina watches as Prisoners stream out of open cell doors.
She makes her way quietly through the excited throng.
BANE (V.O.)
For an army will be raised...
Mercenaries hand out weapons to escaping Prisoners...


EXT. PARK BOULEVARD - DAY
As Mercenaries shoot open locks, people storm into expensive
apartment buildings overlooking the park...

BANE (V.O.)
The powerful will be ripped from
their decadent nests...


INT. BEAUTIFUL OLD GOTHAM APARTMENT - DAY
People ransack the apartment...
BANE (V.O.)
...and cast into the cold world the
rest of us have known and
endured...

EXT. PARK BOULEVARD - DAY

Wealthy people are herded onto the street by Mercenaries...
BANE (V.O.)
Courts will be convened...


INT. STOCK EXCHANGE - DAY
A kangaroo court is in session, presided over by a Criminal
we recognize from Blackgate. Bane watches from the
gallery...
112.


BANE (V.O.)
The spoils will be enjoyed...

INT. ELEGANT APARTMENT, PARK BOULEVARD - DAY

Tough-looking Revellers crack open champagne - spraying it,
swigging it - Selina amongst them, watching...
BANE (V.O.)
Blood will be shed...


INT. SEWERS - DAY
Hundreds of Police living underground. Dividing up supplies
lowered by ropes... Ross opens a pack of supplies.

BANE (V.O.)
But the police will live, until
they are ready to serve true
justice...


EXT. GOTHAM STADIUM - NIGHT
Moving in on the bright glow of the core...
BANE (V.O.)
This great city will endure...
Close enough to see the flickering digits of its
countdown...
BANE (V.O.)
Gotham will survive.
Mercenaries load the core into the back of a black truck.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Bane incites a riot at Blackgate Prison, freeing the inmates and urging the people of Gotham to seize control from the corrupt elite. Prisoners and mercenaries rampage through the city, ransacking homes and businesses. A group of police officers assemble in the sewers to prepare for the ensuing chaos, as Bane oversees the transport of a mysterious core.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Compelling conflict
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced
Critique
  • The scene transitions between multiple locations and characters quite rapidly, which can make it challenging for the audience to keep track of the unfolding events.
  • The dialogue between Gordon and Blake feels a bit heavy-handed and could benefit from more subtlety in conveying their conflicting perspectives.
  • The scene lacks a clear focus on the emotional impact of the unfolding chaos and upheaval in Gotham, which could enhance the audience's connection to the characters and their struggles.
  • The visual descriptions could be more vivid and immersive to create a stronger sense of the chaotic and intense atmosphere within the scene.
  • The pacing of the scene could be improved by allowing certain moments to breathe and resonate with the audience before moving on to the next sequence.
Suggestions
  • Consider streamlining the scene by focusing on a few key locations and characters to maintain clarity and coherence.
  • Refine the dialogue between Gordon and Blake to make their conflicting viewpoints more nuanced and engaging.
  • Enhance the emotional depth of the scene by exploring the personal stakes and struggles of the characters amidst the escalating chaos in Gotham.
  • Enrich the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and vivid portrayal of the unfolding events and the impact on the characters and the city.
  • Adjust the pacing of the scene to allow for moments of tension and emotional resonance to resonate with the audience before moving on to the next plot development.



Scene 32 -  The Prison Revelation
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. STONE CELL, UNDERGROUND PRISON - DAY

Wayne rolls of his cot. Grunts. The Prisoner realizes Wayne
is trying to do a push-up. From the next cell, the Blind
Prisoner says something...

PRISONER
He says you must first straighten
your back.
The Prisoner helps Wayne roll over, painfully.
113.


WAYNE
How would he know?
PRISONER
He was the prison doctor. A
morphine addict who incurred the
displeasure of powerful people.
Including your masked friend.
WAYNE
How?

PRISONER
Many years ago, during a time of
plague, Bane was attacked by other
prisoners. The doctor’s fumbling
attempts to repair the damage left
him in perpetual agony. The mask
holds his pain at bay.
WAYNE
Is Bane the child you spoke of? Was
he born here?

PRISONER
The legens is that there was a
mercenary working for the local
warlord who fell in love with his
daughter. They married in secret.

The Prisoner takes a rope - ties it under Wayne’s arms.
PRISONER
When the warlord found out, he
condemned the mercenary to this
pit. But then exiled him instead.
INSERT CUT: the Mercenary is dropped at the side of a barren
road. He starts to walk.
PRISONER
The mercenary understood that the
warlord’s daughter had secured his
release, but he couldn’t know the
true price of his freedom. She had
taken his place in the pit.

INSERT CUT: a Woman is lowered into the prison. The
prisoners below all have their faces covered with muslin
masks...
114.

PRISONER
And she was with the child. The
mercenary’s child.

INSERT CUT: the Woman watches as the Doctor, (the Blind
Prisoner, younger-looking, sighted) examines her small
child. The Doctor exits, locking the cell...
PRISONER
One day the doctor forgot the lock
the cell...
INSERT CUT: Prisoners move into the cell towards his mother.
The child runs at them with a knife...

PRISONER
Innocence cannot flower
underground. It was to be stamped
out. But the child had a friend. A
protector...

INSERT CUT: the Protector, face covered, pulls the Child off
the attackers. One grabs for the Child - the Protector snaps
his arm, carries the Child into a corner...
PRISONER
...who showed the other that this
innocence was their redemption. The
mother was not so lucky.
The Blind Prisoner shouts at the Prisoner. He nods.

PRISONER
This is Bane’s prison now. Bane
would not want this story told.
The Prisoner pulls - Wayne screams in pain as he is pulled
upright. The Prisoner ties him off. Checks his spine.
You have a protruding
vertebra...I’m going to force it
back...
WAYNE
How -?

The Prisoner punches Wayne in the back, hard. Wayne screams.
PRISONER
You stay like this. Until you
stand.

Wayne passes out from the pain and we FADE TO BLACK.
Wayne is hanging in his cell, delirious.
115.


RĀ’S AL GHŪL (O.S.)
Did you not think I’d return,
Bruce?
Rā’s al Ghūl, in his Ducard guise, steps in front of Wayne.

RĀ’S AL GHŪL
I told you I was immortal.
WAYNE
I watched you die.

RĀ’S AL GHŪL
There are many forms of
immortality.
Wayne looks inward, remembering...

INSERT CUT: Rā’s at the campfire (from Batman Begins).
RĀ’S AL GHŪL
Once I had a wife. My great love.
She was taken from me...

INSERT CUT: the Woman is lowered into the prison...
Wayne looks at Rā’s.
WAYNE
You were the mercenary. Bane is
your child. Your heir.
INSERT CUT: the Mercenary at the side of the road. Rā’s.
RĀ’S AL GHŪL
An heir to ensure the League of
Shadows fulfills its duty to
restore balance to civilization.
WAYNE
No...
RĀ’S AL GHŪL
You yourself fought the decadence
of Gotham for years. With all your
strength and resources, all your
moral authority. And the only
victory you could achieve was a
lie. Finally you
understand...Gotham is beyond
saving...
116.

WAYNE
NO!

RĀ’S AL GHŪL
And must be allowed to die.
CUT TO WHITE. And we are -


EXT. STREET, DOWNTOWN GOTHAM - DAY
Snow blankets the street. A Tumbler carves tracks as it
patrols the deserted street. Blake peers from behind a
parked car - he is crouched, feeding a kite string down a
storm drain.


INT. SEWER TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS
Ross strains to reach a note dangling on a string - he
grasps it. All around him are dozens of Cops living
underground...

EXT. GOTHAM STREET - CONTINUOUS
Blake winds the string, picks up a jerrycan, hurries off.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Wayne struggles to do a push-up, prompting the Blind Prisoner to assist him. The Prisoner reveals his past as the prison doctor and recounts Bane's lineage as the son of a mercenary and a warlord's daughter. Ra's al Ghul, disguised as Ducard, appears, confirming his identity as Bane's father and the League of Shadows' leader. Ra's declares Gotham's fate as destruction.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional depth
  • Revealing character interactions
  • High stakes and tension
  • Compelling plot developments
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too dark or intense for sensitive viewers
Critique
  • The scene provides important backstory about Bane's origins and his connection to Rā's al Ghūl, which adds depth to the character and the overall plot.
  • The dialogue between Wayne and the Prisoner is informative but could be more engaging and dynamic to keep the audience's attention.
  • The transition from Wayne's physical struggle to the revelation of Rā's al Ghūl's return feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The scene contains a lot of exposition and backstory, which is necessary but could be balanced with more visual storytelling or character interactions to make it more engaging.
  • The emotional impact of Wayne's realization about Gotham's fate and Rā's al Ghūl's intentions could be heightened with more emphasis on Wayne's internal conflict and desperation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual elements or character interactions to break up the exposition and make the scene more visually engaging.
  • Work on enhancing the dialogue between Wayne and the Prisoner to make it more dynamic and compelling.
  • Smooth out the transition between Wayne's physical struggle and the revelation of Rā's al Ghūl's return to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Find ways to balance the exposition with more visual storytelling or character interactions to maintain the audience's interest.
  • Focus on amplifying the emotional impact of Wayne's realization about Gotham's fate and Rā's al Ghūl's intentions to create a more powerful and resonant moment.



Scene 33 -  Desperation and Determination in a Chaotic Siege
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. ST. SWITHIN’S HOME FOR BOYS - CONTINUOUS
The home is packed. People, not just kids, huddle in every
corner. Blake spots Father Reilly. Hands him the can.

BLAKE
For the bus in case there’s a
chance to evacuate. Keep it in here
- people are siphoning parked cars.

FATHER REILLY
Really?
BLAKE
(grins)
How do you think I got it?
FATHER REILLY
Right. Any news? Is the
Commissioner -

BLAKE
Less you know, Father. How’re the
boys?
117.

FATHER REILLY
Power’s been on more, so they get
some TV.

Blake smiles. Moves to the door.
Blake, you be careful out there.
They’re hunting down cops like
dogs.

Blake nods. Leaves.

INT. ELEGANT APARTMENT, PARK BOULEVARD - DAWN
Following Selina through rooms strewn with trash, empty
bottles and sleeping partygoers. She spots a family
photograph, glass smashed. A hand lands on her shoulder.
JEN
Who’s that?

SELINA
This was someone’s home.
JEN
Now it’s everyone’s home.

Selina stares out at a Tumbler rolling by.
JEN
’Storm’s coming’, remember? This is
what you wanted.

SELINA
No. It’s what I thought I wanted.

INT. STONE CELL, UNDERGROUND PRISON - DAY

The Prisoner unties the rope from Wayne’s chest. Wayne
stands. Just. Then walks.

INT. SAME - LATER

Wayne does push-ups. Stronger. The Prisoner watches.
PRISONER
Why build yourself?

WAYNE
I’m not meant to die in here.
The Prisoner indicates the TV:
118.


SIEGE OF GOTHAM: DAY 84.
PRISONER
Here? There? What’s the difference?
Wayne ignores this. Focuses on his body...


INT. STONE CELL, UNDERGROUND PRISON - DAY
Wayne moves to the wall - takes the rope from the Tattooed
Prisoner, wraps it around his chest. Curious Prisoners
gather, the Prisoner at their head. Wayne looks up at the
light, hundreds of feet above. Starts to climb. Prisoners
get excited as Wayne RISES - money starts exchanging hands.
Reaching the precipice, he checks his rope, looks up at the
next handhold, far away. He takes a breath, then LEAPS.
His fingers brush the ledge. Wayne DROPS a hundred feet -
the rope catches, SLAMMING him into the rock face. The
Prisoners disperse, losing interest as the Tattooed Prisoner
lowers Wayne on the rope. The Blind Prisoner turns away.

PRISONER
I told you it could not be done.
WAYNE
You told me a child did it...

PRISONER
No ordinary child...
INSERT CUT: the Protector fights off prisoners as the Child,
older now, moves to the climbing wall
A child born in hell.
INSERT CUT: the Child makes the climb...pauses, looking down
- making eye-contact with the Protector, who fights off
Prisoners... They swarm over the Protector, knives drawn.
A child forged by suffering,
hardened by pain...
INSERT CUT: the Child leaps across the abyss, grabbing a
handhold on the ledge and swinging up...
Not a man from privilege.

Wayne’s eyes close in despair.
119.


EXT. CHECKPOINT, GOTHAM BRIDGE - DAY
Supply trucks await inspection. Mercenaries open an
18-wheeler - check boxes of rations...wave it on...


EXT. SUPERMARKET - CONTINUOUS
The 18-wheeler pulls up. A line of Gothamites waits
patiently along the sidewalk.


INT. 18-WHEELER - CONTINUOUS
Three plain-clothes Special Forces Men emerge from the
boxes, checking, then concealing weapons. The doors open -
they exit.


INT. SUPERMARKET - CONTINUOUS
The Special Forces Men carry boxes into the store as if
delivering. The Store Manager leads them into the back and
down into -

INT. LOWER STOREROOM - CONTINUOUS
Where they are met by four Cops out of uniform.

FOLEY
You have ID?
SPECIAL FORCES 1
Of course not.

FOLEY
How can we trust you?
GORDON (O.S.)
They don’t have any choice.

Gordon and Blake emerge from the back of the room.
SPECIAL FORCES 1
Commissioner Gordon? Captain Jones,
Special Forces.

GORDON
Captain, glad to have you here.
120.


CAPTAIN JONES
How many of you are there?
GORDON
Dozens. I’d rather not say exactly.
But the men trapped underground
number almost three thousand.
CAPTAIN JONES
What kind of shape they’re in?

GORDON
They’ve been getting water, food.
CAPTAIN JONES
Could we break them out?

BLAKE
Yes, sir - take out the mercenaries
guarding the outflow south of
Ackerman Park, blow the rubble,
you’ve got a hole big enough for
ten at a time. I’m in contact with
my partner - they’re waiting for
the day.
SPECIAL FORCES 2
Men who haven’t seen daylight for
three months?

BLAKE
Men with automatic weapons who
haven’t seen daylight in three
months.

CAPTAIN JONES
What about the bomb? The satellites
can’t see any radiation hot
spots...
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Amidst the chaos of an evacuation, Blake provides fuel and inquires about the boys' well-being. Selina witnesses the destruction caused by the storm. Wayne's escape attempt fails, while the Prisoner questions his purpose and reveals the Child's abilities. Special Forces arrive to join Gordon and Blake in planning a rescue operation for trapped officers.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Compelling conflicts
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Complexity of multiple storylines
  • Some characters may need more development
Critique
  • The scene transitions between multiple locations and characters quite abruptly, which can make it challenging for the audience to follow the story smoothly.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth and connection with the characters, making it difficult for the audience to feel invested in their journey.
  • The dialogue feels a bit forced and lacks authenticity, making it hard for the audience to connect with the characters and their motivations.
  • The visual descriptions could be more vivid and engaging to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • The pacing of the scene is a bit uneven, with some parts feeling rushed while others drag on, impacting the overall flow of the story.
Suggestions
  • Consider streamlining the scene by focusing on a few key locations and characters to avoid confusion and maintain the audience's engagement.
  • Work on developing the characters' personalities and motivations to create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
  • Revise the dialogue to make it more natural and reflective of each character's unique voice and perspective.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to paint a vivid picture of the settings and characters, immersing the audience in the scene.
  • Refine the pacing of the scene by balancing action-packed moments with quieter, more reflective scenes to maintain a dynamic flow.



Scene 34 -  Ambush at the Bank
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - DAY
Blake scouts with Jones. A rumble makes them turn.
GORDON (V.O.)
They keep it on a truck - it must
have a lead-lined roof. They move
it constantly.
CAPTAIN JONES (V.O.)
But you know the truck?
121.


GORDON (V.O.)
They’ve got three of them. The
routes don’t vary much.
Two Tumblers lead a massive black truck down the street.
Captain Jones reaches into his jacket and triggers a Geiger
counter. Shows Blake the display. Nods. One of the Tumblers
stops, turns back. Blake leads them down a side street.

INT. LOWER STOREROOM - CONTINUOUS

CAPTAIN JONES
What about the triggerman?
GORDON
No leads. It’s a bluff - Bane
wouldn’t give control of that bomb
to someone else.
CAPTAIN JONES
We can’t take that chance. Until we
have the triggerman, we just track
the device, smuggle men over -
BLAKE
While Gotham lives under a warlord,
like in some failed state?

CAPTAIN JONES
Dial it back, officer. This
situation is unprecedented. We
can’t do anything to risk millions
of lives.

BLAKE
(to Gordon)
Aren’t you gonna tell him?!
GORDON
Captain, things are more
complicated than you think. There’s
somebody you need to meet. Blake?
Blake nods, leads Jones and his men up the stairs.


EXT. SIDE STREET, DOWNTOWN - CONTINUOUS
Blake leads them to the door of an empty bank.
122.


INT. TELLSONS BANK - CONTINUOUS
They head across the empty lobby to an elevator.

INT. OFFICES ABOVE TELLSONS - MOMENTS LATER

Blake leads them into empty offices. Cots and makeshift
furnishings line the offices and corridors.
BLAKE
I was up here looking for a vantage
point. Found the people who run the
corporation who owns it living
here.
CAPTAIN JONES
Which corporation?
FOX (O.S.)
Wayne Enterprises.
Lucius Fox is there, with Miranda Tate.

BLAKE
Captain, meet Mr. Fox. Mr. Fox, I’d
like you to brief the Captain.
Captain Jones indicates Miranda.

FOX
Miss Tate is fully aware of the
situation.
MIRANDA
And as CEO of Wayne Enterprises, I
have to take responsibility for it.
CAPTAIN JONES
Why?

MIRANDA
Because, Captain, we built it.
CAPTAIN JONES
You built the bomb?

FOX
It was built as a fusion reactor.
The first of its kind. Bane turned
the core into a bomb, then
disconnected it from the reactor.
123.


BLAKE
And here’s the important part.
FOX
As the device’s fuel cells decay,
it’s becoming increasingly
unstable...until the point of
detonation.
BLAKE
The bomb’s a time bomb.

FOX
And it will go off. In twenty-three
days.
Captain Jones reels at this news.

BLAKE
Bane’s revolution is a sham. He’s
watching Gotham rearrange its
deckchairs while the whole ship’s
going down. Your appeasement plan
might not be as practical as you
thought.
Captain Jones throws Blake a look. Addresses Fox.
CAPTAIN JONES
Could you disarm it?
FOX
I don’t know, But I could reconnect
it to the reactor. Stabilize it.

CAPTAIN JONES
We’d have to let the Pentagon know.
SPECIAL FORCES 2
They’ll be monitoring our
frequencies -
CAPTAIN JONES
We have no choice. Let’s move away
from this location, then call it
in.
124.


INT. TELLSONS BANK - MOMENTS LATER
Captain Jones exits the elevator, followed by his men and
Blake. Halfway across the floor, hell breaks loose.
Mercenaries blast them with machine guns - the lobby becomes
a devastating ambush. Blake dives back into the elevator.


INT. OFFICES ABOVE TELLSONS - CONTINUOUS
Blake flies out of the elevator.

BLAKE
Fox, somebody sold us out!
Fox and Miranda burst into the corridor.

FOX
Take Miranda -
Blake grabs Miranda, heads for the back stairs. Mercenaries
jump out of the elevator, firing high.

MERCERNARY
DOWN ON THE FLOOR!
Fox freezes. Lowers himself to the ground.


INT. TELLSONS BANK - CONTINUOUS
Captain Jones goes down in a hail of bullets. The other
Special Forces Men are down. Bane enters, midges Jones with
his toe. He is alive. Barely. Bane leans in close. Jones
looks up at him, defiant.

CAPTAIN JONES
I’ll die before I talk...
BANE
I’m on your schedule, Captain.

Bane places his hand over Jones’s nose and mouth.
MERCERNARY
There were people living upstairs.

Bane looks up, disinterested. Jones is dead.
BANE
Give them over for judgement.
(Indicates bodies.) Hang them where
the world will see.
125.

INT. STONE CELL, UNDERGROUND PRISON - DAY
Wayne stares at the TV: the Special Forces bodies hang in
the cables of Gotham Bridge. Wayne throws a stone into the
screen.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Tracking the nuclear bomb, Blake and Jones lead their men into an ambush at an empty bank building. In the ensuing chaos, Jones is killed, while Miranda Tate and Lucius Fox are taken hostage by Bane's mercenaries.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Revelation of crucial information
  • Building tension and suspense
  • Emotional impact on the audience
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in certain character motivations or actions
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly exposition-heavy
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the previous one, which can be disorienting for the audience. Consider adding a smoother transition to connect the two scenes more effectively.
  • There is a lot of exposition and information being delivered through dialogue, which can make the scene feel heavy and slow-paced. Try to find a balance between dialogue and visual storytelling to keep the audience engaged.
  • The dialogue feels a bit on-the-nose at times, with characters explicitly stating information that could be shown through actions or visuals. Consider adding more subtlety and nuance to the dialogue.
  • The action sequences are described in a straightforward manner, lacking in tension and suspense. Try to enhance the action scenes by focusing on building tension, creating stakes, and adding dynamic visuals.
  • The character interactions feel somewhat flat and lack depth. Work on developing the relationships between the characters to make their interactions more engaging and meaningful.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to improve the flow and pacing, ensuring a smoother transition from the previous scene.
  • Try to convey information through visuals and actions rather than relying heavily on dialogue. Show, don't tell.
  • Add more subtext and complexity to the dialogue to make it more engaging and realistic.
  • Enhance the action sequences by focusing on creating tension, suspense, and dynamic visuals to keep the audience on the edge of their seats.
  • Work on developing the characters further to make their interactions more compelling and emotionally resonant.



Scene 35 -  Wayne's Leap to Freedom
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. SAME - LATER

Wayne does endless push-ups, squats, stretches. The Blind
Prisoner listens. He speaks in an ancient tongue.
PRISONER
He says the leap to freedom is not
about strength.

WAYNE
My body makes the jump.
BLIND PRISONER
(cracked English)
Survival is the spirit. The soul.
WAYNE
My soul’s as ready to escape as my
body.

BLIND PRISONER
Fear is why you fail.
WAYNE
I’m not afraid. I’m angry.

Wayne throws punches...focused.

INT. UNDERGROUND PRISON - DAY

Wayne takes the rope at the foot of the climb. Prisoners
look up, but none bother to gather round. Wayne starts
climbing, determined.
He FIGHTS the rock face...breathing hard. Grabs at a rock -
it comes away in his hand. He DROPS - SMASHES into the rock
face. The Blind Prisoner shakes his head.
A Skinny Prisoner playing cards with the Prisoner looks up
at Wayne, hanging upside down.
SKINNY PRISONER
Shouldn’t you get him down?
The Prisoner glances up at Wayne, disdainful.
126.


PRISONER
He’ll keep.
As Wayne drifts into unconsciousness we -
INSERT CUT: Young Bruce lies at the bottom of the well,
looking up at his father, lowering down to rescue him.
THOMAS WAYNE (V.O.)
And why do we fall?


INT. CAVE PRISON - NIGHT
Wayne wakes with a start - the Blind Prisoner is there.
BLIND PRISONER
(cracked English)
You do not fear death. You think
this makes you strong. This makes
you weak.
WAYNE
Why?
BLIND PRISONER
How can you move faster then
possible? Fight longer than
possible? If not from the most
powerful impulse of the spirit. The
fear of death. The will to survive.
Wayne gets up onto his elbow. Looks at the Blind Prisoner.
WAYNE
I do fear death. I fear dying in
here while my city burns with no
one there to save it.
BLIND PRISONER
Then make the climb.
WAYNE
How?
BLIND PRISONER
As the child did. Without the rope.
(Dry laugh.) Then fear will find
you again.
Wayne considers this.
127.


INT. CAVE PRISON - MORNING
Wayne puts some scraps of bread into a rough coat which he
folds into a makeshift shoulder pack.
PRISONER
Supplies for your journey?
Prisoners nearby laugh. Wayne moves to the cliff face. The
Prisoner follows, intrigued by Wayne’s new demeanor. The
Tattooed Prisoner offers him the rope. Wayne refuses. Starts
to climb. Prisoners gather around as word spreads. Wayne
makes his way cautiously up the treacherous rock face. Down
below the Prisoners start a low chant.
As Wayne hoists himself up onto the precipice something
EXPLODES from the cliff face. Wayne flinches - BATS... They
circle up to the opening above...
Wayne closes his eyes. The chant RISES. Wayne takes a
breath...opens his eyes...looks down at the drop...up
again...then he jumps.

Time skips a beat as the Prisoners stop breathing.
And Wayne GRABS the ledge above.
The Prisoners go WILD as Wayne hoists himself up onto the
ledge. The Blind Prisoner nods. Wayne climbs to FREEDOM.


EXT. CAVE PRISON, NEAR A FORTRESS - CONTINUOUS
Wayne climbs out of the hole and into formidable desolation.
He shoulders his pack - spots a large coil of rope attached
to the wall. He pushes it into the hole then walks away...

INT. BASEMENT, ABANDONED STOCK EXCHANGE - DAY
A mass of huddled Gothamites. Professionals (traders,
industrialists). In a corner, Fox. Mercenaries come down
into the chamber, pull out a man, who starts yelling. It is
Stryver, Daggett’s functionary.
STRYVER
I want to see Bane! There’s been a
mistake! Take me to Bane!
Fox watches him dragged upstairs...
128.


INT. ABANDONED STOCK EXCHANGE - MOMENTS LATER
A kangaroo court. Stryver is dragged before a jeering crowd.
STRYVER
There’s been a mistake! Where’s
Bane?!
VOICE (O.S.)
There’s been no mistake, Mr.
Stryver.

Stryver turns to look at the ’judge’: Dr. Jonathan Crane.
CRANE
You are Philip Stryver, executive
vice-president of Daggett
Industries? (Off nod from Stryver.)
The same Philip Stryver who for
years lived like a prince off the
blood and sweat of people less
powerful?

STRYVER
Call Bane! I’m one of you!
Jeers. Pull back to reveal a silent figure, watching. Bane.
CRANE
Bane has no authority here. This is
merely a sentencing hearing. The
choice is yours, death or exile.
Stryver looks around, terrified, as the crowd shouts
’Death’.

STRYVER
Exile.
CRANE
(smashes gavel)
Sold...to the man in the cold
sweat!
Mercenaries pull Stryver from the dock...


EXT. GOTHAM RIVER - DAY
Stryver, with other wealthy Gothamites, is led down to the
ice. A Blackgate Inmate undoes his handcuffs, whispering.
129.


BLACKGATE INMATE
Follow the tick ice. Try to swim -
you’re dead in minutes.
STRYVER
Has anyone made it?
The Blackgate Inmate turns away. Stryver is forced onto the
ice. He shuffles forward, listening to the creaking...
Stryver is a hundred yards out when the river swallows him.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Wayne, imprisoned and guided by the Blind Prisoner, overcomes his fear and climbs a cliff face without a rope to escape. Meanwhile, Stryver is exiled to the frozen Gotham River for his corporate malfeasance.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension and suspense
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Some predictable elements
Critique
  • The scene starts with Wayne doing physical exercises in the presence of the Blind Prisoner, which sets a tone of determination and struggle. However, the dialogue between Wayne and the Blind Prisoner feels a bit cliched and lacks depth in exploring Wayne's internal conflict.
  • The transition from Wayne's physical training to his attempt to climb out of the prison cell is abrupt and could benefit from a smoother transition to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The revelation of the Blind Prisoner's wisdom about fear and survival is a common trope in storytelling and could be developed in a more unique and engaging way to add depth to the character dynamics.
  • The visual of Wayne climbing the rock face and the bats flying out of the cliff is visually striking and adds an element of suspense and triumph to the scene. However, the execution of Wayne's leap to freedom could be more impactful and emotionally resonant.
  • The introduction of Stryver and the kangaroo court in the abandoned stock exchange adds an interesting subplot to the scene, but the dialogue and interactions between the characters could be more engaging and compelling.
Suggestions
  • Consider delving deeper into Wayne's internal struggle and emotional journey during his physical training and escape attempt to add more depth to the character development.
  • Work on creating a smoother transition between different elements of the scene to maintain a cohesive narrative flow.
  • Explore more unique and nuanced ways to convey the themes of fear, survival, and determination through the dialogue and interactions between characters.
  • Enhance the visual impact of Wayne's leap to freedom by focusing on the emotional stakes and character growth in that moment.
  • Develop the subplot involving Stryver and the kangaroo court to create more tension and intrigue in the scene.



Scene 36 -  Tracking the Bomb
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. EMPTY OFFICE BUILDING - DAY
Gordon stands over a map of the city. A handful of Cops sit
around the room. Waiting. Gordon looks at his watch.

GORDON
Where the hell are they? It’s not
like we have a lot of time, here.
COP
How long?
GORDON
The bomb goes off tomorrow. We’ve
got about eighteen hours to do
something.

COP
To do what?
GORDON
We mark that truck. Get a GPS on
it, then we can start thinking
about how to take it down.
The door opens and Blake enters, followed by ten cops.
Gordon is counting them in. He moves to Blake.

GORDON
(low)
That’s it?
Blake just looks at him. Gordon checks the faces. Realizes.

GORDON
Foley. Where’s Foley, dammit?!
Gordon heads for the door.
130.


BLAKE
You shouldn’t be out on the streets
-


EXT. FOLEY’S BROWNSTONE - DAY
Gordon hurries up the steps to a brownstone. Stabs the bell.
FOLEY’S WIFE
Jim. He’s not here -

Gordon, furious, addresses the hallway behind her.
GORDON
You’re sending your wife to the
door when the city’s under
occupation?!
Foley appears at the end of the corridor. Ashamed.
FOLEY
Wait in the kitchen, honey.

GORDON
What did you do, bury your uniform
in the backyard?
FOLEY
Jim, you saw what they did to those
Special Forces.
GORDON
You forgotten all the years we went
out on patrol with every gangbanger
wanting to plant one as soon as our
backs were turned?
FOLEY
This is different and you know it.
These guys run the city - the
government’s done a deal with them
-
GORDON
Deal?! Bane’s got their balls in a
vice. That’s not a deal -
FOLEY
You move against Bane, the
triggerman’s gonna hit the button -
131.


GORDON
You think he’s given control of
that bomb to one of ’the people’?!
You think this is part of some
revolution? There’s one man with
his finger on the button - Bane.
FOLEY
We have to keep our heads down
until they can fix this. If you
still had family here maybe you’d -

GORDON
This only gets fixed from inside
the city, Foley. (Calmer.) Look,
I’m not asking you to walk down
Grand in your dress blues. But
we’ve got to do something before
this maniac blows us all to hell.
FOLEY
I’m sorry Jim. I gotta -

GORDON
Keep your head down? What’s that
gonna do tomorrow, when that thing
blows?
FOLEY
You don’t know that’s going to
happen.
Foley closes the door on Gordon. Gordon stands there.

MIRANDA (O.S)
I hear you’re looking for men,
Commissioner.
Gordon turns to see Miranda, Blake behind her. Blake shrugs.

MIRANDA
How about me, instead?
GORDON
Miss take, I can’t ask you -

MIRANDA
My company built it.
GORDON
Bruce Wayne built it.
132.


MIRANDA
And he wanted to destroy it. It was
me who didn’t listen. Please.
Gordon looks at Blake. Then Miranda. Nods.

GORDON
Let’s go.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Gordon waits anxiously for reinforcements to arrive, desperate to mark a truck with a GPS before the bomb detonates in 18 hours. Foley's absence infuriates Gordon, but Miranda steps up to assist despite the danger.
Strengths
  • Intense tension
  • Compelling plot
  • Emotional depth
  • Strong character development
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel exposition-heavy
  • Limited focus on individual character arcs
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the imminent threat of the bomb going off in 18 hours.
  • The dialogue feels somewhat generic and could be more impactful to convey the high stakes and pressure the characters are under.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the emotional turmoil and conflict within Gordon and Foley, which could add depth to their characters and the scene.
  • The interaction between Gordon and Foley could be more intense and emotionally charged to highlight the gravity of the situation.
  • The pacing of the scene could be improved to build suspense and engage the audience more effectively.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the urgency and tension by adding more dramatic elements to the scene, such as a countdown clock or visual cues of the impending danger.
  • Revise the dialogue to be more impactful and reflective of the characters' emotions and the dire circumstances they are facing.
  • Explore the internal conflicts of Gordon and Foley more deeply to add layers to their characters and create a more engaging dynamic.
  • Consider adding more intense confrontational moments between Gordon and Foley to heighten the emotional intensity of the scene.
  • Work on the pacing of the scene to maintain a sense of urgency and keep the audience engaged throughout.



Scene 37 -  Selina's Intervention and Gordon's Ambush
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
EXT. GOTHAM STREET - DAY

A Kid sprints down the deserted street, chased by two
Gangbangers. The Kid slips in the snow - the men are on him.
GANGBANGER
You steal from us, you little
bastard?
They grab the Kid’s backpack, the Gangbanger pulls out an
apple, moves to hit the Kid when - SMACK! - his hand is
grabbed, and the apple flies into the air as his arm cracks.
Selina catches the apple.

SELINA
You boys know you can’t come into
my neighborhood without asking
politely.

Gangbanger 2 lunges with a knife - she spins him, making him
stab himself in the backside. The Gangbangers run off,
howling. The Kid eyes her, wary.
SELINA
Never steal anything from someone
you can’t outrun, kid.
KID
Now you’re gonna take it.

Selina looks at the red apple. Takes one perfect bite.
SELINA
Just tax.
She tosses him the apple. He takes it and runs.

WAYNE (O.S.)
Pretty generous, for a thief.
Selina recognizes the voice. Turns to find Wayne - strong,
but weathered. Beard, work clothes.
133.


SELINA
You came back. I thought they’d
killed you.
WAYNE
Not yet.
SELINA
If you’re expecting an apology -
WAYNE
It wouldn’t suit you. I need your
help.
SELINA
And why would I help you?

Wayne pulls a USB drive out of his pocket.
WAYNE
For this. The ’Clean Slate’.
SELINA
You’re gonna trust me with that?
After what I did to you?
WAYNE
I admit I felt a little let down.
But I still think there’s more to
you. In fact, I think for you -
(indicates USB) this isn’t a tool,
it’s an escape route. You want to
disappear. Start fresh.

She looks at him. Takes the drive, staring at it.
SELINA
Start fresh? I can’t even get off
this island.

WAYNE
I can give you a way off. Once
you’ve gotten me to Lucius Fox. I
need you to find out where they’re
holding him. Then take me in.

SELINA
Why do you need Fox?
WAYNE
To save this city.
134.


SELINA
Who says it needs saving? Maybe I
like it this way.
WAYNE
Maybe you do. But tomorrow that
bomb’s going off.
SELINA
Get your powerful friend on the
case.

WAYNE
I’m trying. But I need Fox.

EXT. GOTHAM STREETS - DAY

Gordon and his Men are in two-man teams. Gordon is walking
down the street with Miranda. He hands her a Geiger counter.
GORDON
Stay further up the block. (Points
at Men.) They’re gonna cross the
street and try and slow the truck
down. As it approaches, hit this
button. If the needle hits two
hundred - give me the signal and I
mark the truck. Okay?

BLAKE
(over radio)
Heads up.

Blake is up on a rooftop. Gordon moves down to the other end
of the block. As the truck rumbles into view, Gordon’s Men
walk out into the street in front of it as if crossing the
road. The convoy barely slows. Miranda gives Gordon the
signal. As the truck comes past, he tosses a magnetic GPS
locator at the lower part of the truck...

Gordon regroups with his Men on the corner. Checks his GPS.
GORDON
Got it.

They keep moving, turning down the next street...into an
ambush. Dozens of Mercenaries, weapons trained.
MERCENARY
Commissioner Gordon, you’re under
arrest.
135.

GORDON
On whose authority?
MERCERNARY
The people of Gotham.

Blake, from his vantage point, watches Gordon, Miranda and
the other Cops being rounded up and led away...
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Crime","Drama"]

Summary Selina Kyle intervenes to protect a kid from gangbangers, demonstrating her skills and warning them not to enter her territory. She helps the kid escape and agrees to help Bruce Wayne locate Lucius Fox and obtain a 'Clean Slate' USB drive, despite her past animosity towards him. Meanwhile, Commissioner Gordon and his team encounter an ambush by mercenaries who arrest them, creating a sense of urgency and danger.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Compelling character dynamics
  • Sharp dialogue
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too complex for casual viewers
  • Pacing may be too fast for some audience members
Critique
  • The scene opens with a strong and engaging action sequence, showcasing Selina Kyle's skills and character. However, the transition to Wayne's introduction feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Selina and Wayne is well-written and reveals their dynamic and conflicting motivations. However, there could be more depth and nuance added to their interaction to further develop their characters and relationship.
  • The introduction of the 'Clean Slate' USB drive and its significance could be more clearly established to enhance the stakes and intrigue of the scene.
  • The scene involving Gordon and his men setting up an ambush adds tension and suspense, but the transition from Selina and Wayne's conversation to this new subplot could be more seamless to avoid a disjointed narrative.
  • The confrontation between Gordon and the mercenaries at the ambush provides a strong cliffhanger ending, but there could be more build-up and development of the conflict to increase the impact of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transition between Selina and Wayne's interaction and the introduction of Gordon's subplot to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Enhance the depth of the dialogue between Selina and Wayne to further explore their characters and motivations.
  • Clarify the significance of the 'Clean Slate' USB drive earlier in the scene to increase audience engagement and curiosity.
  • Work on building up the tension and stakes in the confrontation between Gordon and the mercenaries to create a more impactful and suspenseful climax.
  • Ensure a smooth and seamless transition between different subplots to maintain the momentum and coherence of the overall scene.



Scene 38 -  Batman's Plan and Gordon's Fate
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. BASEMENT, ABANDONED STOCK EXCHANGE - DAY

Miranda comforts a crying Woman in the corner. Thugs come
down the stairs, laughing, leading a Hooded Prisoner. They
kick him down the last step and he stumbles. Fox moves to
his aid.

BASEMENT THUG 1
Find this one a spot, he’s got a
big day tomorrow.
They dump the Hooded Man with Fox.

BASEMENT THUG 2
We all do. Ir’s not every day you
bag Bruce Wayne...
Fox hears this. Pulls the bag from Wayne’s head. Wayne nods
at him, silent. Fox nods back. The Thugs leave. Miranda
comes over.
MIRANDA
Bruce?

FOX
You picked a hell of a time to go
on vacation, Mr. Wayne.
WAYNE
How long until the core ignites?

FOX
That bomb goes off in twelve hours.
WAYNE
Unless we can connect it to the
reactor.
FOX
If you can get it there. I’ll find
a way to plug it back in.
(Indicates Miranda.) Can you get
Miranda out?
136.


WAYNE
Not tonight. I’m sorry.
MIRANDA
Do what’s necessary.

WAYNE
(to Fox)
Tonight I need you.
FOX
What for?
WAYNE
To get me back in the game.
Catwoman comes down the stairs with the Thugs.

CATWOMAN
Sorry to spoil things, boys, but
Bane wants these guys himself...
The thugs pull Wayne and Fox to their feet - Miranda looks
up.
WAYNE
I won’t forget about you.
MIRANDA
I know.

EXT. COLONNADE, HOLDING AREA - CONTINUOUS
The Thugs lead Wayne and Fox along the colonnade. Catwoman
spins, takes out one Thug with a heel, one with a punch to
the throat. Fox smiles as she unlocks his wrists.
FOX
I like your girlfriend, Mr. Wayne.

CATWOMAN
He should be so lucky.
And she’s gone. Fox turns to Wayne. Who shrugs.


INT. DARK SPACE - NIGHT
Lights flicker on... Wayne and Fox are in the Bat-Bunker.
137.


WAYNE
Any move I make against Bane or the
bomb - the triggerman sets it off.
FOX
They can’t be using radio or cell -
too much interference. Infrared
doesn’t have the range. It could
only be micro-burst long wave...
Wayne opens a panel in the wall, takes out equipment:
mini-mines, Batarangs, utility belt...
WAYNE
Could you block it?
FOX
Yes. I need the EMP cannon-guidance
mount from the Bat. You remember
where you parked?
Wayne nods. Smiles. The Batsuit rises from the floor...


INT. ABANDONED STOCK EXCHANGE - EVENING (LATE DAY)
Gordon and his men on trial. Crane presides.
CRANE
The charges are espionage and
attempted sabotage... Do you have
anything to say in your defense?
GORDON
No lawyer, no witnesses. What sort
of due process is this?
CRANE
More than you give Harvey’s
prisoners, Commissioner. Your guilt
is determined, this is merely a
sentencing hearing. What’s it to
be, death or exile?
GORDON
Crane, if you think we are going
willingly out onto that ice, you’ve
got another think coming.
CRANE
Death, than?
138.


GORDON
Looks that way.
CRANE
Very well... Death... (Smiles.) By
exile.

He smashes his gavel. Bane leans in to one of his men,
indicates Miranda.
BANE
Bring her to me.

INT. STAIRWELL, SKYSCRAPER - SUNSET
Wayne bounds up the stairs. Fox follows, out of breath

LUCIUS
I think it’s time to talk about my
year-end bonus...


EXT. ROOFTOP, SKYSCRAPER, GOTHAM - MOMENTS LATER
Fox emerges to see Wayne uncovering the Bat... As the sun
sets, Fox starts pulling apart the gun mount.
FOX
She fly pretty well?
WAYNE
Even without the autopilot...
FOX
Autopilot? That’s what you’re there
for.

EXT. GOTHAM RIVER - NIGHT

Gordon and the rest of the men stand at the edge of the ice.
A Mercenary fires his gun in the air. Gordon takes a breath,
then leads his men onto the ice...which creaks and groans...
Further out, Gordon stops - sniffs - looks down: a pool of
liquid, beside it: a flare. Gordon picks it up, puzzled.
BATMAN (O.S.)
Light it up.
139.


Gordon, energized by the familiar voice, lights the flare -
jams it into the liquid, sending a trail of FIRE across the
ice - up into a building where it forms the shape of a
BAT...


INT. FOLEY’S BROWNSTONE - CONTINUOUS
FOLEY’S KIDS
Dad! Check it out!

FOLEY’S WIFE
Honey, take a look!
Foley moves to a back window. Sees the flaming sign.


EXT. GOTHAM STREET - CONTINUOUS
A Mercenary nervously approaches Bane’s back.
MERCENARY
Sir?

Bane turns. The Mercenary points at the sign.
MERCENARY
You think it’s really him?

BANE
Impossible...

INT. FOLEY’S BROWNSTONE, BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Foley yanks up the floorboards. Pull his dress blues from
their hiding place.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Batman and Fox devise a plan to save Gotham by connecting the bomb to the reactor. Gordon and his men are sentenced to death, but a Bat-Signal inspires Foley to join the fight.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotionally impactful moments
  • Strong character development
  • Tense dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be predictable
  • Complex plot may be confusing for some viewers
Critique
  • The scene transitions between different locations and characters quite abruptly, which can make it challenging for the audience to follow the action smoothly.
  • The dialogue feels a bit rushed and lacks depth, especially in the interactions between the characters. It would benefit from more emotional depth and character development.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven, with some moments feeling rushed while others drag on. This can disrupt the flow of the narrative and impact the overall engagement of the audience.
  • There is a lack of visual descriptions and details that could enhance the atmosphere and setting of the scene, making it more immersive for the audience.
  • The character motivations and conflicts are not fully explored or developed, leading to a lack of depth and complexity in the interactions between the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transitions between locations and characters to create a more seamless flow of the scene.
  • Take the time to develop the dialogue further, adding emotional depth and complexity to the interactions between the characters.
  • Work on balancing the pacing of the scene to maintain a consistent level of engagement throughout.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions and details to create a more vivid and immersive setting for the audience.
  • Focus on developing the character motivations and conflicts to add depth and complexity to the interactions and drive the narrative forward.



Scene 39 -  Batman Rescues Blake
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. OUTFLOW PIPE, ACKERMAN PARK - CONTINUOUS

Mercenaries guarding the entrance see the sign. One of them
moves out to get a better look. WHAM! He is taken out by a
dark figure. The figure steps into the light - it is
Blake...


EXT. GOTHAM RIVER - CONTINUOUS
Batman hands Gordon a metal box.
140.

BATMAN
This blocks the remote detonator
signal to the bomb. Get into onto
the truck by sunrise. They might
hit the button when it starts.

GORDON
When what starts?
BATMAN
War.


EXT. OUTFLOW PIPE, ACKERMAN PARK - CONTINUOUS
Blake takes out a second Mercenary - moves over to the open
manhole. Ross emerges - nots at Blake, who helps him climb
out. BANG - Ross goes down as Blake dives for cover. Blake
is grabbed by Mercenaries. They detonate the manhole,
sealing it, prepare to execute Blake. A dark shape drops
onto the Mercenaries... Blake watches, in awe, as Batman
takes them out in a fury of punches and kicks - then it is
finished. Quiet. One of the Mercenaries moves slightly.
BLAKE
You missed a spot.
Batman boots him in the head as he moves towards Blake.

BATMAN
If you’re working alone, wear a
mask.
BLAKE
No one cares who I am.
BATMAN
The mask is not for you. It’s to
protect the people you care about.

BLAKE
Huh. And you always seem to know
where those people are. How is
that?
BATMAN
I lost someone once. Since then I
break into their homes when they’re
sleeping and implant a tracking
device on the back of their neck.

Blake laughs. Then feels the back of his neck. Batman tosses
Blake a mini-mine.
141.


BATMAN
On three - one, two, three -
They throw the mini-mines at the rubble of the entrance -
the blasts barely move any rubble.

BLAKE
No offense, but you got anything
bigger in that belt?
BATMAN
That’s to warn the men on the other
side.
Batman disappears into the shadows.
BLAKE
But how do we -?
KAABOOOM! The Bat’s cannons light up the night.
BLAKE
Okay.

Cops climb out into the cold night - skinny, ragged, but
glad to be alive and carrying guns...
BLAKE
What now?

BATMAN
All-out assault on Bane...but you
need to get the people your care
about across the bridge.

BLAKE
Why?
BATMAN
In case we fail. Lead an exodus
across the bridge. Save as many
lives as you can.
BLAKE
Don’t you need me here?

BATMAN
You’ve given me an army. Now go.
Blake nods. Turns to leave. Stops.
142.

BLAKE
Thank you.

BATMAN
Don’t thank me yet.
BLAKE
I might not get a chance later.

Batman nods. Blake disappears into the night.

EXT. GOTHAM STREET - CONTINUOUS
Gordon checks the metal box. Puts it under his coat. Nods at
his men, hiding in the doorways. Checks his GPS...

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT
Batman leads Catwoman to a rusty old container. He opens it,
revealing the Bat-Pod. Catwoman’s eyes light up.
CATWOMAN
Oh, you shouldn’t have...
She hops on, feeling the controls.

BATMAN
The mid-town tunnel’s blocked by
debris, but the cannons give you
enough firepower to make a path for
people.

Catwoman marvels at the controls...
BATMAN
To start it, you -

VARROOOM!
CATWOMAN
I got it.

BATMAN
We’ve got forty-five minutes to
save this city -
CATWOMAN
No, I’ve got forty-five minutes to
get clear of the blast radius,
because you don’t stand a chance
against these guys.
143.

BATMAN
With your help I might.

She shakes her head.
CATWOMAN
I’ll open that tunnel, then I’m
gone.

He looks at her.
BATMAN
There’s more to you than that.
She stares back at him. Facade slipping a touch.

CATWOMAN
Sorry to keep letting you down.
He says nothing. She looks at him, imploring.
Come with me. Save yourself. You
don’t owe these people anymore -
you’ve given them everything...
BATMAN
Not everything. Not yet.

Batman turns. Catwoman watches him go. Then fires up the
bike and takes off.

EXT. STREETS LEADING TO SOUTH TUNNEL - NIGHT

Catwoman tears along on the Bat-Pod. She pulls up at the
tunnel entrance blocked by stacked vehicles.

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS - DAWN

The army of Cops stands at the low end of the street. At the
op is Bane’s stronghold - City Hall. Men pour out of the
building, forming up into an opposing line.
A Cop wearing full dress blues steps forward. It is Foley.
The silence is eerie... The numbers look evenly matched -
until two Tumblers arrive.
VOICE
(over loudspeaker)
DISPERSE. DISPERSE OR BE FIRED
UPON.
The Cops look shaky, pale, but determined.
144.


FOLEY
There’s only one police in this
city.
He steps forward. The line follows.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Batman saves Blake from mercenaries, advises him to wear a mask, and instructs him to lead an exodus across the bridge. Batman then departs to confront Bane.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Compelling character development
  • Emotionally impactful moments
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
  • Predictable plot points
Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong action sequence involving Blake taking out mercenaries, which sets a good pace for the rest of the scene.
  • There is a good balance between action, dialogue, and character development in this scene.
  • The interaction between Batman and Blake adds depth to their characters and showcases their dynamic.
  • The tension and urgency of the situation are effectively conveyed through the dialogue and actions of the characters.
  • The transition between different locations and characters is smooth and keeps the scene engaging.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual descriptions to enhance the imagery and atmosphere of the scene.
  • Explore the emotional impact of the characters' actions and decisions to further engage the audience.
  • Ensure that the dialogue is concise and impactful, conveying the necessary information while maintaining the intensity of the scene.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the setting and action of the scene.
  • Continue to build on the relationship between Batman and Catwoman to add depth to their interactions.



Scene 40 -  Gotham's Last Hope
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. CITY HALL - CONTINUOUS
Bane stands in the colonnade. Watching.

BANE
Open fire.

EXT. STREET, DOWNTOWN GOTHAM - CONTINUOUS

The Tumblers FIRE into the line of Cops, THROWING men into
the air, SCREAMING. The line of Cops is about to scatter -
WHOOOSHHH. The Bat DROPS down in front of the Cops and
BLASTS both Tumblers, FLIPPING them sideways. The Bat RISES
and the cops run towards the Mercenaries, firing - until
they are close enough to fight hand-to-hand. The street is
filled with thousands of men in pitched battle.

EXT. STREETS LEADING TO SOUTH TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS
Catwoman, hearing the distant battle, blasts the tunnel
blockage...the dust settles. Her path is clear.

EXT. GOTHAM STREET - CONTINUOUS
Gordon heard the fighting. Checks the box. Nervous.

GORDON
Come on, come on...

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - CONTINUOUS

Bane strides through the battle, taking out Cops left and
right. A space clears - he is face the face with the
Batman...

BANE
You came back. To die with your
city.
BATMAN
No. I came back to stop you.
145.


Bane leaps at batman, smashing powerful blows into his head.
Batman ducks, weaves and smashes his fists into Bane’s side.
Someone is watching from the window of City Hall - Miranda.


EXT. GOTHAM STREET - CONTINUOUS
The black truck rounds the corner. Gordon signals his man in
a Greyhound bus - who pulls across the street. The truck
smashes into the bus and stops. Gordon and his men swarm in,
blasting at the Guards. Gordon opens the back - empty. No
bomb. Wrong truck.
GORDON
That’s impossible... Come on! Cut
over to Fifth!

They sprint for the next parallel avenue...

INT. REACTOR PLANT - CONTINUOUS

Fox hurries into the reactor - starts throwing switches...

EXT. ST. SWITHIN’S HOME FOR BOYS - CONTINUOUS
Blake leads the boys out of the home - points down the
street.
BLAKE
Knock on doors, spread the word -
the bomb’s going to blow! Get out
by the South Street tunnel, or over
the bridge! Do two blocks, then get
back to the bus!
The boys race down the street. Father Reilly climbs into the
bus.


EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS - CONTINUOUS
Batman and Bane fight, Batman pushing Bane back - a Tumbler
roars between them, separating them. Batman chases after.
146.


INT. LOBBY, CITY HALL - CONTINUOUS
Bane SMASHES backwards through the door, Batman on him.
Batman POUNDS Bane against the marble floor. Mercenaries
guarding Miranda move towards them -

BANE
Stay back. He is mine -
Bane SMASHES Batman’s head - moves in for the kill, but
Batman SMASHES Ben to the ground, RIPS sideways across the
tubes of Bane’s mask with the blades of his forearm. Bane
bellows, thrashing in AGONY. Batman holds him down with a
hand on his throat - searches him with his free hand.
BATMAN
Give me the trigger! You’d never
give it to an ordinary citizen -
Bane’s thrashing calms as he stares at batman through
pain-soaked eyes...gasping through his broken mask for
relief.

BANE
I broke you. How have you come
back?
BATMAN
You thought you were the only one
who could learn the strength to
escape?
Bane looks at Batman, curiosity behind his pain.

BANE
I never escaped - Rā’s al Ghūl
rescued me. That is why I mist
fulfill his plan. That is why I
must avenge his murder.

BATMAN
(confused)
The child of Rā’s al Ghūl made the
climb -
MIRANDA (O.S)
But he is not the child of Rā’s al
Ghūl...
Batman flinches, frozen as Miranda leans into his ear...
147.


MIRANDA
I am.
Miranda has a knife through Batman’s suit, into his ribs...
And though I am not ’ordinary’, I
am a citizen...

She pulls out the trigger...

EXT. FIFTH STREET - CONTINUOUS

Gordon spots the second black truck moving down the street.
His men pull in front, slowing it. Gordon jumps into the
back. The truck accelerates - Gordon drops, hanging on to
the bumper, struggling with the box, trying to turn it on...


INT. LOBBY, CITY HALL - CONTINUOUS
Batman cannot move to defend himself. He has Bane by the
throat, but Miranda has her knife in his side -

MIRANDA/TALIA
My mother named me Talia before she
was killed. The way I would’ve been
killed if not for my
protector...Bane.

INSERT CUT: the child, Talia, makes eye-contact with the
Protector, then leaps. Down below, Prisoners swarm over the
protector, ripping the muslin from his face. Bane looks up
at Talia, says one quiet word -
BANE
Goodbye.
Then is overrun.
TALIA
I climbed out of the pit...
INSERT CUT: Young Talia stands by the hole looking out at
the landscape...
I found my father and brought him
back to exact terrible vengeance -
but by that time...the prisoners
and the doctor had done their work
to my friend...my protector...
Talia reaches up to touch Bane’s mask.
148.

INSERT CUT: the League of Shadows descend into the prison -
at their head, Rā’s al Ghūl. They slaughter prisoners. Then
stop. Rā’s al Ghūl has found Bane, bandaged.

TALIA
The League took us in. Trained
us...


INT. TEMPLE, LEAGUE OF SHADOWS - DAY
Bane in a prototype mask, stands on logs, blocking blows
from men with sticks.
TALIA (V.O.)
But my father could not accept
Bane.
Rā’s al Ghūl watches Bane training. Turns away.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary As Bane's forces clash with the police, Batman emerges to protect his city. Catwoman clears a path through the tunnel, while Gordon and his men pursue the wrong truck. Fox desperately works to stabilize the reactor, unaware of the impending doom. Amidst the chaos, Batman and Bane engage in a brutal confrontation, revealing Bane's true origins and Miranda's lineage. Talia exposes Bane's past, revealing his transformation by Dr. Pavel. As Gordon attempts to disarm the bomb, Talia reveals her own connection to it. In a shocking turn of events, Miranda stabs Batman, leaving his fate uncertain as the city's hope hangs in the balance.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Revealing character dynamics
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be predictable for seasoned viewers/readers
Critique
  • The scene is action-packed and intense, with a lot of moving parts and characters involved.
  • The dialogue between Batman and Bane is engaging and reveals important information about their past and motivations.
  • The introduction of Miranda/Talia as the child of Rā’s al Ghūl adds a twist to the story and creates a new layer of conflict.
  • The scene effectively builds tension and suspense as the characters are in a race against time to stop the bomb from detonating.
  • The fight sequences are well-described and visually engaging, adding to the excitement of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to the interactions between the characters, especially in moments of confrontation and revelation.
  • Ensure that the transitions between different locations and characters are clear and smooth to avoid confusion for the audience.
  • Provide more context or background information to help the audience understand the significance of certain events or character motivations.
  • Focus on balancing the action with character development to create a more well-rounded and engaging scene.
  • Consider adding more descriptive details to enhance the visual imagery and immerse the audience in the intensity of the battle and conflicts.



Scene 41 -  Confrontation in City Hall and Gotham Bridge
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. LOBBY, CITY HALL - CONTINUOUS
Talia looks into Bane’s eyes as she holds the knife in
Batman’s side.
TALIA
He saw only a monster who could
never be tamed. Whose very
existence was a reminder of the
hell he’d left his wife to die in.
He excommunicated Bane from the
League of Shadows. His only crime
was that he loved me. I could not
truly forgive my father...
Talia looks at Batman, cold.
Until you murdered him.

BATMAN
He was trying to kill millions of
innocent people -
TALIA
’Innocent’ is a strong word to
throw around Gotham, Bruce. I honor
my father by finishing his work.
Vengeance against the man who
killed him is simply a reward for
my patience...

Talia twists the knife in Batman’s side.
You see, it’s the slow knife...the
knife that takes its time, the
(MORE)
149.

TALIA (cont’d)
knife that waits years without
forgetting, then slips quietly
between bones...that’s the knife -
Talia arms the trigger...
- that cuts deepest.
She hits the button - nothing.


EXT. FIFTH STREET - CONTINUOUS
A light on the metal box is blinking. Gordon hangs on -


INT. LOBBY, CITY HALL - CONTINUOUS
Talia turns, furious.
BATMAN
Your knife may have been too
slow...
A Mercenary steps forward -
MERCENARY
The truck’s under attack -
Talia looks around, mind racing.
TALIA
Gordon. (To Batman.) You gave him a
way to block my signal. No matter -
(Looks at watch.) He’s bought
Gotham eleven minutes. (Shouts at
Mercenary.) Prepare a convoy. We
must secure the bomb until it
detonates.
Talia jumps to her feet. Bane grabs a shotgun from a
Mercenary - points it at Batman.
TALIA
Not yet... I want him to heel the
heat. (To Batman.) Feel the fire of
twelve million souls you failed.
Talia reaches up to Bane’s mask, reconnects his tubes,
tenderly.
Goodbye, my friend.
Bane nods at her, slowly. Talia moves out with the
Mercenaries.
150.


EXT. CITY HALL - CONTINUOUS
Talia gets into a Tumbler with a Mercenary. Three Tumblers
pull out in convoy, blowing anything out of the way - cars,
cops.

Foley stands in the road, firing his sidearm. Talia’s
Tumbler SMASHES him out of the way.

INT. LOBBY, CITY HALL - CONTINUOUS

Bane grabs Batman, throws him into the floor - checks the
rounds in the barrels.
BANE
You’ll have to imagine the fire -

He shuts the gun - jams it into Batman’s face.
We both know I need to kill you
now.
He squeezes the trigger. BLAMMM! Bane is blasted across the
lobby by cannon fire.
Catwoman is there, on the Bat-Pod.
CATWOMAN
The whole no-guns thing? I don’t
feel as strongly about it as you
do.

EXT. GOTHAM BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS

Blake pulls up to the barricade, leads the kids off,
marching them up the bridge, Father Reilly at the rear. A
Uniform shouts through the loudhailer -
UNIFORM
Stay there! What are you doing?!
BLAKE
(pulls badge)
Blake, MCU - I’m getting these boys
to safety -

UNIFORM
Safety?! You’re gonna get us all
killed. Anyone crosses this bridge
they blow the city -
151.


BLAKE
It’s gonna blow anyway. We need
this bridge open right now.
UNIFORM
No one leaves the island. Orders -
BLAKE
Whose orders? Bane’s?
UNIFORM
Police Department’s.
BLAKE
Haven’t you heard the shooting? The
Batman’s battling it out with Bane
-

UNIFORM
The Batman’s dead. Look, Officer -
BLAKE
It’s Detective -

UNIFORM
Well, Detective, you take one more
step, we have to shoot you. Two
more steps, we have to blow the
bridge.

BLAKE
(to the boys)
Wait for me back at the bus.
The Boys walk back down the bridge...


EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS - CONTINUOUS
Talia’s convoy surrounds the black truck. Tumblers off each
flank, protecting the bomb as it counts down...

INT. LOBBY, CITY HALL - CONTINUOUS
Batman looks at Catwoman.

BATMAN
I need you on the ground, me in the
air, we have to force that convoy
east, to the entrance to the
reactor -
152.


EXT. CITY HALL - MOMENTS LATER
Catwoman roars down the steps on the Bat-Pod.

INT. BLACK TRUCK - CONTINUOUS

Gordon climbs into the back of the truck - the bomb is
there, heating up. He looks at the countdown - nine
minutes...


EXT. GOTHAM BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS
Blake turns back to the Uniform.
BLAKE
Your orders are out of date! The
situation’s changed! Listen, I’m a
cop like you. And I’m walking out
there. Please don’t shoot me.
Blake walks. Shots ring out at his feet. He keeps walking...


EXT. GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS
The Bat descends on the convoy, Catwoman approaches on the
ground. A rolling battle ensues. Catwoman targets the rear
of the Tumblers, Batman swings the Bat in low at the
junctions, trying to force the convoy east...
The Tumbler’s gun turrets swing around onto Catwoman. She
swerves to avoid heave fire.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Talia holds Batman at knifepoint, intent on avenging her father by detonating a bomb in Gotham. Gordon blocks the bomb's signal, giving the city eleven minutes. Bane threatens Batman, but Catwoman intervenes and shoots him. On Gotham Bridge, Blake negotiates for civilians to cross, but is met with resistance. Batman and Catwoman battle Talia's convoy, forcing it towards the reactor's entrance for the final showdown.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Compelling plot twists
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
  • Certain character motivations could be further developed
Critique
  • The dialogue between Talia and Batman feels a bit exposition-heavy and could benefit from more subtlety and nuance in their interactions.
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension, considering the high stakes involved in the situation. The pacing could be improved to heighten the suspense and drama.
  • The character motivations and emotions could be more effectively conveyed through actions and subtext rather than explicit dialogue.
  • The transition between different locations and characters could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene and maintain the audience's engagement.
  • The confrontation between Batman, Bane, and Talia could be more dynamic and visually impactful to create a more intense and memorable climax.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the dialogue to make it more natural and engaging, focusing on subtext and character dynamics.
  • Introduce more visual elements and action sequences to enhance the tension and excitement of the scene.
  • Work on tightening the pacing and structure of the scene to maintain a sense of urgency and keep the audience invested.
  • Explore ways to convey character emotions and motivations through actions and visuals rather than relying solely on dialogue.
  • Ensure a seamless transition between different locations and characters to improve the overall coherence and impact of the scene.



Scene 42 -  Bridge Blast and Impending Explosion
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. GOTHAM BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS
Blake continues to walk, ignoring the warning shots.
UNIFORM
Son-of-a-bitch! (To his partner.)
Blow it! Before he reaches the line
-
His partner arms the detonator. Uniform shouts at Blake -

UNIFORM
Get down! We’re blowing the bridge!
As Blake looks, disbelieving, the bridge in front of him
blasts upwards in a massive fireball. Blake dives backwards.
153.


EXT. GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS
The Bat blasts away in front of the convoy, making a huge
crater in front of a Tumbler and trapping it, rear in the
air. Catwoman dodges around it, uses the Bat-Pod cannons to
take out another Tumbler... The countdown ticks away...seven
minutes.

INT. REACTOR PLANT - CONTINUOUS

As Fox fires up the reactor something catches his eye -
something is wrong...

EXT. GOTHAM BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS

The smoke clears, Blake sees the impossible gap.
BLAKE
You idiots! You sons of bitches!
You’re killing us!!


INT. BLACK TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
Gordon climbs out the back of the truck but is immediately
strafed by gunfire from the Tumblers. He dives back inside,
moves to the front of the trailer - looks at the bulkhead,
gauging the driver’s position. Starts firing blind through
the bulkhead -

INT. CAB, BLACK TRUCK - CONTINUOUS

Bullets fly through the cab. The driver takes one, falls
forward, dead. Talia takes the wheel - bullets keep coming.

EXT. GOTHAM BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS

Blake races back. Father Reilly has the boys in a huddle,
praying -
BLAKE
Father! Get the boys on the bus -

FATHER REILLY
But there’s nowhere to go, son.
154.


EXT. GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS
The Bat spins down in front of the black truck, forcing it
into a hard right turn...


INT. TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
Talia watches the navigation screen.
TUMBLER DRIVER
(over radio)
They’re trying to force us onto
Grand -
TALIA
Pushing us to the entrance of the
reactor. They’re going to try and
reconnect the core.
TUMBLER DRIVER
(over radio)
Can they?

Talia smiles.

INT. REACTOR PLANT - CONTINUOUS

Fox runs to a ladder. Alarms sound. As he hits the ladder he
turns. A massive rumble builds - water SMASHES into the
reactor, flooding in from both directions.

EXT. GOTHAM STREETS - CONTINUOUS

Catwoman comes up behind the lead Tumbler. She blasts it
again and again - it flips diagonally into the path of the
black truck, causing the truck to lurch onto its side. Both
vehicles careen into the mouth of the tunnel.


INT. REACTOR PLANT - CONTINUOUS
Fox loops his arm around a rung of the ladder and braces as
a wave smashes into him, painfully...
155.


EXT. TUNNEL ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS
Gordon jumps out of the truck, opening the rear doors to
expose the glowing core. Catwoman pulls up on the Bat-Pod.
GORDON
Give me a hand!
The Bat lands at the tunnel mouth. Gordon moves in to try
and grab the core but it is too hot.
Let’s get a cable on it and drag it
out! Come on, we’re almost there -
Laughter. Gordon turns. Talia, lying half out the truck.
Dying.
TALIA
Fox showed me how to operate the
reactor core. Including the
emergency flood -

INT. REACTOR PLANT - CONTINUOUS

Fox pulls himself above the rising whitewater -

EXT. TUNNEL ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS

Gordon looks down at Talia. Batman is at his side.
TALIA
There is no way to stop this bomb.
Prepare yourselves... (Looks up at
Batman.) My father’s work is done.

Talia smiles as her eyes flutter closed. Gordon turns -
Batman is at the core, plunging his hands into the heat to
attach a hoist from the Bat.
GORDON
What’re you doing?
BATMAN
Two minutes. I can fly it out over
the bay...

Catwoman is at his side as he works.
CATWOMAN
Rig it out to fly over the water,
then bail -
156.


BATMAN
No autopilot.
She takes this in. He stands to face her.
CATWOMAN
You could’ve gone anywhere. Been
anything. But you came back here.
BATMAN
So did you.

CATWOMAN
I guess we’re both suckers.
She puts his arms around his neck. Kisses him. Batman moves
to the Bat, Gordon alongside.

GORDON
So this is the part where you
vanish, only this time you don’t
come back?

Batman opens the canopy.

EXT. GOTHAM BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS
Blake grabs at the smallest boys, shoving them onto the bus.

BLAKE
Come on! On the bus!
FATHER REILLY
What’re you doing?

BLAKE
Protection from the blast -
FATHER REILLY
It’s an atom bomb -!

Blake turns on Father Reilly, furious.
BLAKE
You think they need to hear that in
their last seconds? You think I’m
going to let them die without hope?
157.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Amidst chaos, Officer Blake defies police warnings and walks along the bridge. Explosives blast a hole, but he narrowly escapes. Batman and Catwoman fight Bane's forces, while Fox discovers reactor issues leading to flooding. Talia reveals the bomb's inevitability, prompting Batman's plan to fly it out. Catwoman aids his preparation with a farewell kiss. Amidst evacuations, Blake berates police for the bridge explosion, blaming them for the potential catastrophe.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • High stakes
  • Compelling character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly melodramatic or cliched at times
Critique
  • The scene starts with a high-stakes moment as Blake continues to walk despite warning shots and the bridge being blown up. This creates tension and sets the stage for the action that follows.
  • The action sequences involving the Bat, Catwoman, and the convoy are well-described and engaging, with a good balance of movement and conflict.
  • The introduction of the reactor plant adds another layer of urgency and danger to the scene, especially with Fox noticing something wrong and the water flooding in.
  • The emotional impact of Gordon's desperation to save the city, Catwoman's assistance, and Talia's revelation about the bomb creates a sense of impending doom and sacrifice.
  • The interaction between Batman and Catwoman adds depth to their characters and highlights their shared sense of duty and sacrifice.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for the characters, especially in moments of high tension or sacrifice.
  • Ensure the pacing remains consistent throughout the scene, balancing action with emotional beats.
  • Clarify the logistics of the plan to stop the bomb and ensure the resolution feels satisfying and well-executed.
  • Explore the themes of sacrifice, heroism, and redemption further to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Consider adding more descriptive language to enhance the visual and sensory experience for the reader.



Scene 43 -  The Legacy of Batman
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. TUNNEL ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS
Gordon puts a hand on Batman’s arm.
GORDON
I never cared who you were -

BATMAN
And you were right.
GORDON
But shouldn’t the people know the
hero who saved them?
BATMAN
A hero can be anyone. That was
always the point.

Batman sits into the cockpit, then looks again at Gordon.
Anyone. A man doing something as
simple and reassuring as putting a
coat around a little boy’s
shoulders to let him know that the
world hadn’t ended...
The canopy loses - and as the Bat fires up Gordon remembers
-
INSERT CUT: Gordon, in his uniform, wraps the overcoat
around the Young Bruce’s shoulders, his eyes reassuring,
loving.
Gordon looks up to the cockpit -
GORDON
Bruce Wayne?
- but is dusted by downdraft as the Bat RISES. Gordon LEAPS
out of the way as the core is dragged along and out of the
tunnel mouth.

The Bat struggles with the weight of the smoking core... A
building is in the way - Batman fights the controls but
there’s no power to get over it.


EXT. GOTHAM BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS
Blake shouts into the bus -
BLAKE
Heads down! Heads down, now!
158.


FATHER REILLY
Blake, they need to make their
peace.
Blake turns to him, furious.

BLAKE
They’re children! They have no
peace to make -
An EXPLOSION from downtown Gotham. Blake looks across,
startled, turns to the children on the bus.
Get down! This is it!
The smallest of the boys stares through the window past
Blake.

LITTLE BOY
No. That’s Batman!
Blake turns to see the Bat thundering out of the heart of
Gotham, trailing smoke, the core hanging from it. It curves
dangerously close to the bridge before heading for the mouth
of the river...the bay...the ocean...
Until a point of light fires into an enormous nuclear BLAST
- wind and light and dust blowing VIOLENTLY but harmlessly
over the bridge, the tunnel mouth, all of Gotham...

As the nuclear dawn fades over Gotham, and we see its
inhabitants start to raise their heads, and helicopters and
boats converge on the island, we hear a voice. Jim Gordon.
GORDON (V.O.)
’I see a beautiful city and a
brilliant people rising from this
abyss...’
Blake pulls out his badge. Throws it into the river.

GORDON (V.O.)
’I see the lives for which I lay
down my life, peaceful, useful,
prosperous and happy...’


EXT. GARDENS, WAYNE MANOR - DAY
Gordon is reading from A Tale of Two Cities. Opposite is
Fox, arm in a sling, and Blake, grim. Another figure is
there, whose face we do not yet see...
159.


GORDON
’I see that I hold a sanctuary in
their hearts, and in the hearts of
their descendants, generations
hence. It is a far, far better
thing that I do, than I have ever
done...’
Gordon closes the book, looking down at Bruce Wayne’s grave.
’It is a far, far better rest that
I go to than I have ever known.’

Gordon looks up at the figure standing across from him...
Alfred. Tears streaming.
Fox places a gentle hand on Alfred’s shoulder, then leaves.
Gordon and Blake follow. Alfred, alone with the Wayne
family, turns to the grave beside Bruce’s - the grave of
Thomas and Martha Wayne.
ALFRED
I’m so sorry. I failed you. You
trusted me, and I failed you.
And the old man’s shoulders begin to shake with sobs.

EXT. FRONT ENTRANCE, WAYNE MANOR - CONTINUOUS

Gordon nods at Lucius. Blake is at Gordon’s side.
GORDON
Can I change your mind about
quitting the force?

BLAKE
No. What you said about structures.
About shackles. I can’t take it.
The injustice. (Gestures at
gardens.) I mean...no one’s ever
going to know who saved an entire
city.
GORDON
They know. (Off look.) It was
Batman.
160.


EXT. PLAZA, DOWNTOWN GOTHAM - DAY
Gordon, on a platform with dignitaries, watches a statue
being unveiled. The curtain parts: Batman, immortalized in
granite. We move in on the stone face...

VOICE (V.O.)
Mr. Wayne’s will was not amended to
reflect his more modest estate...


INT. LAWYER’S OFFICE - DAY
The voice belongs to Wayne’s lawyer, addressing a small
group.
LAWYER
Nonetheless, there are considerable
assets to dispose of... The
contents of the house are to be
sold -
He glances up to see someone slip into the room - Blake.


EXT. WAYNE MANOR - DAY
Movers carefully bring artworks and furniture out of the
house, watched by a solitary figure. Alfred.

LAWYER (V.O.)
- to settle the estate’s accounts.
The remainder is left in its
entirety to Alfred J. Pennyworth...


INT. LAWYER’S OFFICE - DAY
Blake shifts. Out of place. The Lawyer continues.
LAWYER
The house and grounds are left to
the city of Gotham, on condition
that they never be demolished,
altered, or otherwise interfered
with -
161.


EXT. WAYNE MANOR - DAY
Different movers carry bunk beds into the huge house.
LAWYER (V.O.)
And that they shall be used for one
purpose, and one purpose only...
A schoolbus pulls up. Father Reilly shepherds children
towards the house. The children look up at the house,
wide-eyed.
The housing and care of the city’s
at-risk and orphaned children.
A sign reads:
THE MARTHA AND THOMAS WAYNE HOME FOR CHILDREN
Genres: ["Action","Drama","Thriller"]

Summary As Batman struggles with the nuclear core, Gordon urges him to reveal his identity. Batman refuses, believing that heroes can come from anyone. Commissioner Gordon reads from 'A Tale of Two Cities' at Bruce Wayne's funeral as Alfred mourns the loss of the Waynes. The contents of Wayne Manor are auctioned off and the manor transformed into an orphanage. The city of Gotham honors the legacy of Batman as a symbol of hope.
Strengths
  • Emotional resonance
  • Character resolution
  • Legacy tribute
Weaknesses
  • Lack of action
  • Less tension compared to previous scenes
Critique
  • The scene wraps up the story in a poignant and emotional way, tying up loose ends and providing closure for the characters.
  • The dialogue between Batman and Gordon is powerful, emphasizing the theme of heroism and sacrifice.
  • The visual imagery of the Batplane carrying the nuclear core and the subsequent explosion is impactful and visually stunning.
  • The emotional moments between Alfred and the Wayne family graves, as well as Gordon reading from A Tale of Two Cities, add depth to the scene.
  • The transition from action-packed sequences to emotional resolutions is well-executed, providing a satisfying conclusion to the story.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth to Blake's character arc in the final scene to provide closure for his journey throughout the film.
  • Explore the impact of Batman's sacrifice on the citizens of Gotham in more detail to emphasize the significance of his actions.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by incorporating symbolic elements that reflect the themes of heroism, sacrifice, and redemption.
  • Provide a clearer resolution for Alfred's character arc to ensure his emotional journey is fully realized.
  • Consider incorporating a reflective moment for Gordon to highlight the impact of Batman's legacy on the city and its inhabitants.



Scene 44 -  Robin's Discovery and Alfred's Observations
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. LAWYER’S OFFICE - DAY
People file out as the Lawyer stands.

LAWYER
My clerk will help anyone with the
smaller correspondences and
instructions...
Blake approaches the Clerk. She smiles.

BLAKE
Blake, John.
CLERK
(checks list)
Nothing here.
Blake realizes, offers her his driving license.
BLAKE
Try my legal name.

The Clerk glances at the license. Checks.
CLERK
Yup, here it is.

She reaches down behind the desk, sorting through various
items, and hands him a sports bag. Blake takes it, curious.
CLERK
You should use your full name. I
like that name... Robin.
162.

Blake smiles, embarrassed. Leaves.
LAWYER
Any word in the missing item?
CLERK
No, not yet.
LAWYER
Well, they’d better leave no stone
unturned... We can’t just put a
string of pearls on the manifest as
’lost’.


INT. APPLIED SCIENCES - DAY
Fox stands in front of the second camouflage rotor. Two
Techs are examining the controls in the cockpit.
TECH 1
Why worry about the stabilization
software? This whole autopilot
system’s obsolete -
FOX
Please, I just need to know what I
could’ve done to fix it.
TECH 2
But Mr. Fox, it’s already been
fixed. (Typed on panel.) Software
patch...six months ago.
FOX
(confused)
Check the user ident on the
patch...

Tech 2 types some more keys. Looks surprised.
TECH 2
Huh. Bruce Wayne.

Fox turns away from the rotor, an idea starting to form...

EXT. WOODS - DAY
Blake sits in his car looking at a GPS device, puzzled.
Beside him, the sports bag, open. In it is a piece of paper
with coordinates, on top of some climbing rope and shackles.
Blake gets out of the car with the bag. Follows the GPS into
the trees.
163.


EXT. CAFÉ, FLORENCE - DAY
Alfred, paper under his arm, heads to his usual table. Sits.
WAITER
Lei e solo?

ALFRED
Si, Fernet Branca, per cortesia.


EXT. WOODS - DAY
Blake finds a large waterfall... He checks his GPS,
confused. Stares at the waterfall. Reaches for the climbing
gear...


EXT. MCU - NIGHT
Gordon steps onto the roof with his pile of arrest
reports...


EXT. CAFÉ, FLORENCE - DAY
As Alfred sips his drink, he glances up at a couple at the
next table. Strangers. Alfred looks back down...


INT. CAVE - DAY
Moving in on the waterfall from inside... Blake bursts
through, landing painfully on the shale inside. he gets to
his feet, moving cautiously into the cave...


EXT. MCU - NIGHT
Gordon bangs his files against the air duct, straightening
them. He stops. Sees something. The searchlight...fixed.
Gordon runs his fingers across a brand new, steel Bat
symbol... He looks up into the night...

INT. CAVE - DAY

Blake lights his torch...then ducks, crouching, as THOUSANDS
of SCREECHING creatures descend. BATS...
164.


EXT. CAFÉ, FLORENCE - DAY
Alfred folds his paper. Pulls out his money, then stops,
seeing...across the tables, a familiar couple... Bruce
smiles at Alfred, who nods. Bruce turns back to the pretty
brunette in pearls. Selina. Alfred pays his bill, content.


INT. CAVE - DAY
Blake lifts his head, FEELING the bats all around him...
Blake RISES, and is SWALLOWED by the darkness of their wings
and we -
FADE OUT.
CREDITS.

END.
Genres: ["Action","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary In a lawyer's office, Robin retrieves a sports bag containing climbing gear. At Applied Sciences, Fox investigates a software patch applied to the camouflage rotor by Bruce Wayne six months prior. In Florence, Alfred witnesses Bruce and Selina dining together. Robin follows coordinates to a waterfall and discovers a cave behind it, encountering thousands of screeching bats.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Intricate plot development
  • Character growth
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be overwhelming for viewers
  • Complexity of multiple storylines
Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict, making it feel disjointed and lacking in tension.
  • The transition between different locations and characters is abrupt and confusing, making it difficult for the audience to follow the narrative.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth or character development in the scene, resulting in a lack of engagement with the characters.
  • The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, lacking in authenticity and depth.
  • The scene lacks a clear resolution or climax, leaving the audience feeling unsatisfied and confused.
Suggestions
  • Focus on a central conflict or goal for the scene to create a sense of tension and purpose.
  • Smooth out the transitions between locations and characters to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Develop the characters further to create emotional depth and engagement for the audience.
  • Work on crafting more authentic and meaningful dialogue to enhance the character interactions.
  • Consider adding a clear resolution or climax to provide a satisfying conclusion to the scene.