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Scene 1 -  Joy's Headquarters: A World of Emotions
INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

A newborn baby swaddled in a blanket, held by her parents.
Push in... and ZOOM IN TO HER HEAD.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Out of the blackness steps a glowing figure. This is JOY. The
room is black except for a bright CONSCIOUSNESS SCREEN.

JOY
Hmm?

In front of Joy is a single large BUTTON. She pushes it.


INT. HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS

The baby gurgles and wiggles happily.

JOY (V.O.)
And there she was...


INT. HEADQUARTERS - CONTINUOUS

ON THE CONSCIOUSNESS SCREEN:

MOM
Hello, Riley.

DAD
Oh look at you. Aren’t you a little
bundle of joy?

A GOLDEN GLOWING SPHERE rolls from behind the screen. It’s a
MEMORY of what we just saw: Mom and Dad cooing at Riley.

JOY
Whoa.
INSIDE OUT 2.

Joy rolls the memory on its track, illuminating the room. She
turns back to the button and pushes it again.


INT. HOSPITAL - CONTINUOUS

Baby Riley gurgles happily.

JOY (V.O.)
It was amazing. Just Riley and me,
forever...


INT. HEADQUARTERS - CONTINUOUS

Baby Riley CRIES.

JOY (V.O.)
...for 33 seconds.

Joy looks to her side. There’s a new, droopy, blue character
touching the button.

SADNESS
I’m Sadness.

JOY
Oh, hello. I’m Joy.

Joy tries to muscle past Sadness to press the button.

JOY (CONT’D)
Can I just... if you could... I
just want to fix that. Thanks.

The two struggle.

JOY (V.O.)
And that was just the beginning.
Headquarters only got more crowded
from there.


INT. MINNESOTA HOUSE - DAY

Riley, now age 3, barrels through the house pulling a wagon.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ON THE SCREEN: Riley’s POV as she runs through the house.
Fear “supervises” Joy, who drives.
INSIDE OUT 3.

FEAR
Very nice. Okay, looks like you got
this. Very good, sharp turn...

Riley approaches a POWER CORD on the ground.

FEAR (CONT’D)
Ahh! Look out!!! No!

Fear leaps to the console.

JOY (V.O.)
That’s Fear. He’s really good at
keeping Riley safe.


INT. MINNESOTA HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Riley stops. She cautiously steps over the power cord.

FEAR (O.S.)
Easy... we’re good! We’re good.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

A fear memory (purple) rolls in.

JOY/SADNESS
Whew!/Nice job.

FEAR
Thank you! Thank you very much.

Joy jumps back into driving position.

JOY
And we’re back!


INT. MINNESOTA HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Riley continues her sprint through the house.

Suddenly she’s picked up.


INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

PLOP into highchair. Bib. Tray. Bowl.

DAD
Here we go. Alright, open.
INSIDE OUT 4.

Dad lifts a spoonful of food to Riley’s mouth.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Hmm. This looks new.

FEAR/SADNESS
Do you think it’s safe?/What is it?

ON THE SCREEN: a spoonful of broccoli.

DISGUST enters.

DISGUST
Okay, caution! There is a dangerous
smell, people. Hold on, what is
that?

JOY (V.O.)
This is Disgust. She basically
keeps Riley from being poisoned,
physically and socially.

DISGUST
That is not brightly colored or
shaped like a dinosaur... Hold on
guys... It’s broccoli!

Disgust GAGS and pulls a lever.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary The scene introduces Joy, a cheerful and vibrant emotion who controls the happiness of a young girl. We see her in Headquarters, a control room where memories and experiences are manipulated. Other emotions like Sadness, Fear, and Disgust are also present, each with their distinct personalities and functions. Joy aims to maintain a positive outlook, while the others act as safety mechanisms. The scene ends with Disgust's reaction to broccoli, hinting at potential conflicts and the complex dynamics between the emotions.
Strengths
  • Creative concept
  • Engaging characters
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited conflict
  • Predictable dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively introduces the main characters and sets up the premise of the story in a visually engaging and emotionally resonant way.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of emotions as characters interacting in a control center within a person's mind is innovative and engaging, providing a fresh perspective on human psychology.

Plot: 7

The plot establishes the central conflict of emotions vying for control over the protagonist's actions and decisions, setting up potential conflicts and character arcs.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original concept of personifying emotions and exploring their impact on a child's life. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are distinct and well-defined, each representing a different emotion with their own personalities and motivations, adding depth and complexity to the story.

Character Changes: 7

The introduction of Sadness as a new character hints at potential growth and development for the protagonist and other characters as they navigate their emotions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain a sense of joy and happiness in the baby's life. This reflects the deeper need for emotional well-being and positive experiences.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the challenges and obstacles that arise in the baby's life, such as fear of danger or disgust towards certain things.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict between Joy and Sadness over control of the protagonist's emotions creates tension and sets up potential obstacles for the characters to overcome.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and challenge the protagonist's goals, adding depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are not extremely high in this scene, the emotional impact and potential consequences of the characters' actions set up future conflicts and challenges.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively sets up the central conflict and introduces key elements of the story, moving the narrative forward and engaging the audience.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions between the emotions and the baby's reactions, keeping the audience intrigued.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between Joy's desire to maintain happiness and positivity, and the other emotions' roles in protecting the baby from harm or negative experiences. This challenges Joy's belief in the importance of joy above all else.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions from joy and curiosity to concern and anticipation, drawing the audience into the story and characters.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the personalities of the characters and sets up their relationships and dynamics within the story.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its creative concept, dynamic character interactions, and emotional depth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience invested in the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, effectively distinguishing between different locations and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a unique structure that alternates between the real world and the internal world, effectively conveying the parallel narratives.


Critique
  • The scene does a good job of introducing the main characters, Joy and Sadness, and establishing their roles in Riley's mind.
  • The conflict between Joy and Sadness is clear and sets up the dynamic for future interactions.
  • The introduction of Fear and Disgust adds depth to the scene and showcases the different functions of each emotion.
  • The use of memories to illustrate the emotions' reactions is effective in showing how they influence Riley's behavior.
  • The scene effectively sets up the premise of the story and establishes the central conflict between Joy's desire for happiness and Sadness' presence.
  • The humor in Disgust's reaction to broccoli adds a light-hearted touch to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues to differentiate between the emotions, such as distinct colors or symbols.
  • Explore ways to visually represent the internal struggle between Joy and Sadness more dynamically.
  • Introduce more interactions between the emotions to showcase their relationships and dynamics.
  • Provide more context for why Sadness is drawn to the button and why Joy is so determined to press it.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory elements to enhance the audience's immersion in Riley's mind.



Scene 2 -  Broccoli Battles and Core Memories
INT. KITCHEN

YOUNG RILEY
Yucky!

Riley swats the broccoli. It flies into Dad’s face.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

A disgust memory (green) rolls in.

DISGUST
Well, I just saved our lives. Yeah.
You're welcome.
INSIDE OUT 5.

INT. KITCHEN

DAD
Riley, if you don’t eat your dinner,
you’re not going to get any dessert.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER looks up from reading his newspaper.

ANGER
Wait. Did he just say we couldn’t
have dessert?

JOY (V.O.)
That’s Anger. He cares very deeply
about things being fair.

ANGER
So that’s how you want to play it,
old man? No dessert? Oh, sure,
we’ll eat our dinner, right after
YOU eat this! GrrrraaaAAHH!!!!

Anger takes the controls as FLAMES blast out of his head. An
anger memory (red) rolls in.


INT. KITCHEN

Riley throws a fit. Dad distracts her.

DAD
(’flying’ the spoon)
Hey, Riley, Riley, here comes an
airplane!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Anger stops screaming.

ANGER
Oh, airplane. We got an airplane,
everybody.

DISGUST/FEAR/SADNESS/JOY
Ohh!/Ahh!


INT. KITCHEN

Dad “lands” the food into Riley’s smiling mouth.
INSIDE OUT 6.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

A happy memory (golden) rolls in.

The others leave Joy alone at the console with Sadness.

JOY (V.O.)
And you’ve met Sadness. She...
well, she...

FLASH CUTS of Riley crying: broken toy, spilled ice cream,
tantrum in the supermarket, wanting out of her car seat.

JOY (V.O.)
I’m not actually sure what she
does. And I’ve checked, there’s no
place for her to go, so she’s good,
we’re good. It’s all great!

Sadness exits. Joy turns to the wall of golden memories.

JOY (V.O.)
Anyway! These are Riley’s memories--
and they’re mostly happy, you’ll
notice, not to brag.

She inspects one of the golden memories: Riley and her friend
MEG (both age 3) going down a slide. She REWINDS it,
relishing the happy moment.

JOY (V.O.)
But the REALLY important ones are
over here. I don’t want to get too
technical, but these are called
CORE MEMORIES.

Joy pops up the CORE MEMORY HOLDER. Inside are five intensely
bright golden memories.

JOY (V.O.)
Each one came from a super-
important time in Riley’s life.
Like when she first scored a goal?
That was so amazing!
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley's refusal to eat broccoli ignites Anger's frustration in Headquarters, but Dad's playful distraction successfully feeds Riley the broccoli. Joy introduces the other emotions, including Sadness, and emphasizes the significance of core memories, which represent key moments in Riley's life.
Strengths
  • Creative concept of personifying emotions
  • Humorous dialogue and interactions between characters
  • Effective introduction of central themes and conflicts
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this scene
  • Relatively low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively introduces the audience to the central concept of the film, sets up the dynamics between the different emotions, and establishes the tone of the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of personifying emotions and using memories to represent them is innovative and engaging. It provides a creative way to explore the complexities of human emotions.

Plot: 7

The plot in this scene focuses on introducing the main characters (emotions) and setting up the central conflict of maintaining Riley's happiness. It effectively sets the stage for the rest of the story.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its concept of personifying emotions and memories, creating a fresh and engaging narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters (emotions) are well-defined and each has a distinct personality that drives their actions. Their interactions provide humor and insight into Riley's emotional development.

Character Changes: 6

While there is not significant character development in this scene, it sets the stage for the emotional growth and changes that Riley and the emotions will undergo throughout the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain a balance between her emotions and make sense of her memories.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to eat her dinner so she can have dessert.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in this scene is primarily internal, as the emotions vie for control over Riley's actions. It sets up the ongoing struggle between Joy and the other emotions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds conflict and drama, keeping the audience engaged.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in this scene are relatively low, focusing more on the internal struggles of the emotions rather than external threats. However, it sets up the importance of maintaining Riley's emotional balance.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively sets up the central conflict and themes of the story, moving the narrative forward and engaging the audience in Riley's emotional journey.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions between the personified emotions and memories.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's desire for happiness and the presence of sadness in her memories.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions from the audience, from amusement at the interactions between the emotions to empathy for Riley's emotional journey.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty and reveals the personalities of the characters. It sets the tone for the scene and establishes the dynamics between the emotions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its unique concept, humor, and emotional depth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, enhancing its overall impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively conveying the fantastical elements of the protagonist's mind.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively transitions between the real world and the protagonist's mind, creating a cohesive narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition between Riley swatting the broccoli and Dad's reaction, making the action feel disjointed.
  • The introduction of Anger and his reaction to the dessert threat feels forced and abrupt, lacking a smooth build-up.
  • The shift from Anger's outburst to Dad distracting Riley with an airplane feels rushed and could benefit from a smoother transition.
  • The dialogue between the emotions in Headquarters, while informative, feels a bit expository and could be more integrated into the scene organically.
  • The interaction between Joy and Sadness at the end of the scene feels superficial and doesn't delve deep into their dynamic or the potential conflict between them.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between Riley swatting the broccoli and Dad's reaction to create a more cohesive flow of action.
  • Build up Anger's reaction to the dessert threat more gradually to make it feel more organic and in line with his character.
  • Work on creating a more seamless transition from Anger's outburst to Dad distracting Riley with the airplane to improve the pacing of the scene.
  • Integrate the dialogue between the emotions in Headquarters more naturally into the scene to avoid it feeling too expository.
  • Develop the interaction between Joy and Sadness at the end of the scene to add depth to their dynamic and set up potential conflicts for future scenes.



Scene 3 -  The Islands of Personality
EXT. MINNESOTA LAKE, WINTER - DAY

Two-and-a-half-year-old Riley shoots a hockey puck across the
ice. She trips and accidentally scores a goal.
INSIDE OUT 7.

MOM/DAD
(cheering)
Heeey! Would you look at that?! We
got a future center here!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

A super-bright CORE MEMORY rolls in.

It rolls to the Core Memory Holder. Clicking into position,
a LIGHTLINE shoots out. The Emotions follow it to the back
window and watch a new ISLAND OF PERSONALITY form.

JOY (V.O.)
And each core memory powers a
different aspect of Riley’s
personality. Like Hockey Island!

Five ISLANDS OF PERSONALITY float in space, miles from
Headquarters, connected by LIGHTLINES -- their power sources.

JOY (V.O.)
Goofball Island is my personal
favorite.


INT. MINNESOTA LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Toddler Riley runs naked from the bathroom, underpants on her
head, laughing wildly. Dad chases her with a towel.

DAD
Come back here, you little monkey!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Goofball Island activates: lights, movement, etc.


INT. MINNESOTA LIVING ROOM

Naked Riley does the goofy dance on the sofa.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY (V.O.)
Yup, Goofball is the best! Friendship
Island is pretty good too.

Joy looks at FRIENDSHIP ISLAND.
INSIDE OUT 8.

EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY

Riley and Meg walk leg over leg, arms linked, laughing.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy inspects Honesty Island.

JOY (V.O.)
Oh, I love Honesty Island! And
that's the truth!


INT. MINNESOTA HOUSE - DAY

A guilty Riley stands by a broken plate. She reveals a
HAMMER from behind her back.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy examines Family Island.

JOY (V.O.)
And, of course, Family Island is
amazing.


EXT. MINNESOTA KITCHEN TABLE - DAY

The family decorate cookies together. Riley stuffs one into
Dad's mouth.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

The Emotions look out over the Islands of Personality.

JOY (V.O.)
The point is, the Islands of
Personality are what make Riley...
Riley!


INT. BATHROOM

Riley splashes in the bathtub.

YOUNG RILEY
Look out, mermaid!
INSIDE OUT 9.

INT. MINNESOTA LIVING ROOM

Riley climbs the couch. She looks at the floor.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy projects an IMAGINATION of LAVA onto the screen.


INT. MINNESOTA LIVING ROOM

YOUNG RILEY
Lava!

Riley jumps from couch to chair to avoid the lava.


INT. MINNESOTA HOUSE

Riley draws. Pull back to reveal she’s drawing on the wall.

YOUNG RILEY
(singing)
Who’s your friend who likes to
play? Bing Bong, Bing Bong...
Genres: ["Animation","Family","Comedy"]

Summary This scene introduces the concept of 'Islands of Personality' within Riley's mind. Each island represents a different aspect of her identity, like Goofball Island for her playful nature and Friendship Island for her bond with Meg. These islands are formed by core memories, visualized as lightlines connecting them to headquarters. We see various moments from Riley's life that contribute to the creation of these islands, showcasing her innocence, imagination, and love for family and friends. The scene ends with Riley drawing and singing about her imaginary friend Bing Bong, highlighting the importance of her imagination.
Strengths
  • Engaging concept introduction
  • Visual storytelling
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited dialogue dynamics
  • Low conflict level

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively introduces a key concept of the film while maintaining a light and engaging tone. It provides insight into Riley's character development and sets up the dynamics between the Emotions in an entertaining way.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Islands of Personality is crucial to understanding Riley's character and how her emotions shape her experiences. The scene effectively conveys this complex idea in a visually engaging and accessible manner.

Plot: 7

The plot in this scene focuses on showcasing Riley's early memories and the formation of her personality islands. While it moves the story forward by establishing key elements, it is more focused on world-building and character development.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases a highly original concept of personifying the inner workings of a young girl's mind, with fresh and authentic character interactions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The Emotions in Headquarters are well-defined and each has a distinct personality that adds depth to the scene. Riley's character is also beginning to take shape through her interactions and actions.

Character Changes: 6

While there is not significant character change in this scene, it sets the stage for Riley's development by establishing the core elements of her personality and how they are influenced by her emotions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to explore and understand the different aspects of her personality represented by the islands. This reflects her curiosity and desire to comprehend her own identity.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is not explicitly stated in this scene, but it seems to revolve around her interactions with her family and the world around her.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

While there is a minor conflict between Riley and her dad over eating broccoli, the scene is more focused on introducing the concept of personality islands and showcasing the dynamics between the Emotions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with internal and external conflicts providing a sense of challenge and growth for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on character development and world-building. The conflict is minor and serves as a vehicle for introducing key concepts rather than raising tension.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key concepts and setting up the dynamics between the Emotions. It lays the groundwork for understanding Riley's character and the role of her emotions in shaping her experiences.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is somewhat predictable in its exploration of the protagonist's internal and external conflicts, but still maintains a level of intrigue and emotional resonance.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

There is a philosophical conflict between the different aspects of the protagonist's personality represented by the islands. This conflict challenges her sense of self and the balance between different traits.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of nostalgia and innocence as it explores Riley's early memories and the formation of her personality. It sets a foundation for emotional resonance as the story progresses.

Dialogue: 6

The dialogue serves the purpose of explaining the concept of Islands of Personality and setting up the dynamics between the Emotions. It is informative and engaging but could be more dynamic to enhance the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional depth, imaginative world-building, and relatable character dynamics.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, enhancing the overall impact of the narrative.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene aligns with the expected format for its genre, effectively conveying the visual and emotional elements of the story.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a unique structure that effectively conveys the inner and outer conflicts of the protagonist, enhancing the overall narrative.


Critique
  • The scene transitions between different moments in Riley's life quite abruptly, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • The introduction of multiple Islands of Personality and core memories in quick succession may overwhelm viewers with information.
  • The visual representation of the Islands of Personality and core memories could be more distinct and visually engaging to enhance the audience's understanding.
  • The dialogue provided by Joy as a narrator feels a bit forced and could be integrated more naturally into the scene.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional throughline or central conflict, making it feel more like a series of disconnected vignettes rather than a cohesive narrative.
Suggestions
  • Consider streamlining the scene by focusing on one or two key moments that best represent Riley's personality and growth.
  • Integrate the introduction of the Islands of Personality and core memories more organically into the storytelling, perhaps through character interactions or visual cues.
  • Enhance the visual representation of the Islands of Personality to make them more visually engaging and memorable for the audience.
  • Explore ways to incorporate the emotional journey of Riley more prominently in the scene to create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
  • Consider adding a central conflict or theme to tie the different moments together and give the scene a more cohesive structure.



Scene 4 -  Leaving Home: A Journey Across America
EXT. MINNESOTA LAKE - DAY

Six-year-old Riley skates across the ice backwards.

MOM/DAD
Hey! Very nice! Where did you learn
that?


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy skates around the room, in sync with Riley.


EXT. MINNESOTA FRONT STEPS - DAY

Riley and Meg slurp frozen drinks. Riley grimaces: ice
headache!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
Brain freeze!

The Emotions scream as Headquarters freezes over.
INSIDE OUT 10.

EXT. MINNESOTA LAKE - DAY

A kids’ hockey game. Riley takes a shot and scores!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Yaaay!


INT. RILEY’S MINNESOTA BEDROOM - NIGHT

Parents tuck Riley into bed and turn off the light.

DAD
Good night, kiddo!

RILEY
G’night, Dad.

She looks up at the stars on her ceiling and falls asleep.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy watches the screen go DARK. She inspects the shelves
mostly populated with GOLDEN MEMORIES.

JOY
And... we’re out. That’s what I’m
talking about: another perfect day!
Nice job everybody! Let’s get those
memories down to Long Term.

Joy pulls a lever. Memories cascade down the shelves.

FEAR
All right, we did not die today! I
call that an unqualified success.

The memories pachinko down the shelves and up a tube. Joy
runs to the back window to watch them glide through the
distant tubes towards Long-Term Memory like falling stars.

JOY (V.O.)
And that’s it! We love our girl.
She’s got great friends and a great
house. Things couldn’t be better.
After all, Riley’s 11 now. What
could happen?

CUT TO:
INSIDE OUT 11.

EXT. MINNESOTA HOUSE FRONT YARD - DAY

Moving sign: Sold!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Wha...?

SADNESS/FEAR/ANGER/DISGUST
AIIIIIGHH!!!


EXT. DRIVEWAY - DAY

SLAM! A packed car hatchback closes.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Huh?

SADNESS/FEAR/ANGER/DISGUST
AIIIIIGHH!!!


EXT. MINNESOTA STREET - DAY

VROOM! A moving van drives away.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
OK, not what I had in mind.

SADNESS/FEAR/ANGER/DISGUST
AIIIIIGHH!!!


EXT. AMERICAN HIGHWAYS

A SERIES OF SHOTS: the family car drives across America. The
car passes corn fields and rolling hills.

TITLE CARD: A PIXAR ANIMATION STUDIOS FILM

Riley sleeps in the back seat. The car zips around a
mountain curve, down a desert highway.

Riley looks out the back window.
INSIDE OUT 12.

The car emerges from a tunnel onto the GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.

TITLE CARD: INSIDE OUT

The car drives across the bridge. Riley looks out the window.

JOY (V.O.)
Hey look! The Golden Gate Bridge!
Isn’t that great?! It’s not made
out of solid gold like we thought,
which is kind of a disappointment,
but still!

The car drives past the Ferry Building.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
I sure am glad you told me
earthquakes are a myth, Joy.
Otherwise I’d be terrified right
now!

Everyone eyes each other behind Fear’s back.

JOY
Uh... yeah.


EXT. LOMBARD STREET - DAY

The car is stuck in traffic. Cars HONK and people YELL.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
These are my kind of people!


EXT. MARKET STREET - DAY

DAD
All right, just a few more blocks.
We’re almost to our new house!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
Step on it, Daddy!
INSIDE OUT 13.

DISGUST
Why don't we just live in this
smelly car? We've already been in
it forever.

JOY
Which, actually, was really lucky,
because that gave us plenty of time
to think about what our new house
is going to look like! Let’s review
the top five daydreams.

Joy plugs in DAYDREAMS showing fantasy houses: tree house,
water-slide house, etc.

FEAR
Ooh! That looks safe!

JOY
Ohh, this is will be great for
Riley! Oh, no, no, no, THIS one.

A gingerbread house.

DISGUST (O.S.)
Ugh, Joy. For the last time, she
cannot live in a cookie.

A castle.

ANGER
THAT’S the one! It comes with a
dragon!
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley enjoys a hockey game on a frozen lake in Minnesota before her family embarks on a cross-country move. The scene follows their journey, filled with excitement and anticipation as they travel through various states, culminating in their arrival at a new city. While Riley is excited about the change, her emotions are apprehensive about the unknown, foreshadowing the challenges they will face in their new life.
Strengths
  • Innovative concept of personifying emotions
  • Engaging dialogue that reflects character personalities
  • Effective establishment of key plot elements
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this scene
  • Stakes could be more clearly defined

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively sets up the premise of the movie by introducing key elements like Headquarters, Core Memories, and different islands of personality. It establishes a whimsical and nostalgic tone while providing humor and insight into the inner workings of a child's mind.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of personifying emotions and exploring how they influence Riley's behavior is innovative and engaging. The introduction of Core Memories and islands of personality adds depth to the story and sets up the central conflict of the movie.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene focuses on Riley's move to a new house, setting up the central conflict of the movie. It effectively establishes the stakes and introduces key elements that will drive the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements like a memory headquarters and showcases fresh approaches to familiar themes of change and adaptation. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and each emotion is distinct in their personality and motivations. Joy, Fear, Anger, Sadness, and Disgust all play important roles in shaping Riley's experiences and reactions.

Character Changes: 6

While the characters do not undergo significant changes in this scene, their reactions to Riley's move foreshadow the internal struggles and growth they will experience throughout the movie.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain a sense of joy and positivity despite the unexpected changes happening in her life.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to adapt to her new surroundings and make the best of the situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Riley's emotions react to the changes in her life. The move to a new house creates tension and sets up the central conflict of the movie, but the stakes are not yet fully realized.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing unexpected challenges that test her resilience and ability to find joy in difficult situations.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderately high in this scene, as Riley's move to a new house represents a significant change in her life. The emotions' reactions hint at the challenges she will face, but the full extent of the stakes is yet to be revealed.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by establishing key elements of the plot, introducing the central conflict, and setting up the emotional journey that Riley will embark on. It lays the foundation for the narrative to unfold.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden changes and unexpected events that challenge the protagonist's sense of joy and positivity.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of embracing change and finding joy in new experiences, even when they are unexpected or challenging.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of nostalgia and whimsy, engaging the audience in Riley's journey. The introduction of Core Memories and the emotions' reactions to the move create an emotional connection and set the stage for deeper exploration of Riley's emotional development.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty and engaging, reflecting the unique personalities of each emotion. It effectively conveys information about the inner workings of Riley's mind while providing humor and insight.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of humor, emotion, and fantastical elements. The characters' reactions and the unfolding events keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, leading to a climactic moment of change and uncertainty.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, adhering to the expected format for its genre.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct locations and character interactions, fitting the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The scene transitions between Riley's life in Minnesota and the reactions of the Emotions in Headquarters, which can be a bit disjointed and may confuse the audience.
  • The use of multiple locations and quick cuts between them may make the scene feel rushed and lacking in emotional depth.
  • The Emotions' reactions in Headquarters, while comical, may overshadow the emotional impact of Riley's family moving across America.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional throughline for Riley, as the focus shifts between her experiences and the Emotions' responses.
  • The dialogue between the Emotions in Headquarters feels forced and may detract from the authenticity of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider focusing more on Riley's perspective and emotional journey during the move, rather than the reactions of the Emotions in Headquarters.
  • Streamline the scene by choosing one central location to anchor the narrative, either Riley's experiences or the Emotions' reactions.
  • Ensure that the transitions between Riley's life in Minnesota and the Emotions in Headquarters are seamless and serve to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Introduce moments of reflection or introspection for Riley to allow the audience to connect with her on a deeper level.
  • Revisit the dialogue between the Emotions to make it more organic and reflective of their individual personalities.



Scene 5 -  Moving Day Mayhem
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE - DAY

JOY (O.S.)
Now we’re getting close, I can feel
it. Here it is, here’s our new
house... and...

The car stops and Riley steps out.

REVEAL: a run-down Victorian. Nothing like the daydreams.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Everyone looks slackjawed.

JOY
Maybe it’s nice on the inside.
INSIDE OUT 14.

INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Riley steps inside. The room is dark, dusty, uninviting.

ANGER (V.O.)
We’re supposed to live here?

SADNESS (V.O.)
Do we have to?

DISGUST (V.O.)
I’m telling you, it smells like
something died in here.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

A disgust memory rolls in.

FEAR
Can you die from moving?

JOY
Guys, you’re overreacting. Nobody
is dying--

DISGUST
A DEAD MOUSE!!!

ON THE SCREEN: A dead mouse in the corner.

DISGUST (O.S.) (CONT’D)
I’m gonna be sick...

ANGER (O.S.)
Great, this is just great.

FEAR (O.S.)
Ahhhhh!! It’s the house of the
dead! What are we gonna do?! We’re
gonna get rabies!!!

Fear jumps into Anger’s arms. Anger fires up the flames.

ANGER
GET OFFA ME!!!

Fear runs around on fire. Joy puts him out with a fire
extinguisher.

JOY
Hey, hey, hey, all through the
drive Dad talked about how cool our
new room is. Let’s go check it out!
INSIDE OUT 15.

FEAR/ANGER/DISGUST (O.S.)
You’re right, Joy/Yeah!/That’s
right!/Yes, yes, yes!


INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE

Riley dashes up the stairs.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

It’s tiny. Depressing.

FEAR/DISGUST/ANGER (O.S.)
No, no, no, no, no./I’m starting to
envy the dead mouse./Get out the
rubber ball, we’re in solitary
confinement.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

SADNESS
Oh, Riley can’t live here.

ANGER FEAR
She's right. Really bad.

DISGUST ANGER
It’s the worst. It’s This house stinks.
absolutely the worst.

Memories roll in: anger, disgust, fear.

JOY
Hey, it’s nothing our butterfly
curtains couldn’t fix. I read
somewhere that an empty room is an
opportunity.

ANGER
Where did you read that?

JOY
It doesn’t matter. I read it and
it’s great. We’ll put the bed
there. And the desk over there...

Joy projects an IMAGINATION of Riley’s furniture.

FEAR
The hockey lamp goes there...
INSIDE OUT 16.

ANGER DISGUST
Put the chair there. Well, the trophy collection
goes there.

SADNESS FEAR
Posters... Stars! I like that.

JOY
Now we’re talking! Let’s go get our
stuff from the moving van!


INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE - DAY

Riley dashes down the stairs as Mom and Dad enter the house.
Dad is on the phone.

DAD
Alright. Goodbye.
(hangs up; to Mom)
Well, guess what? The moving van
won’t be here until Thursday.

MOM
You’re kidding.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
The van is lost?! This is the worst
day ever!

ON THE SCREEN: Mom and Dad ARGUE.

MOM DAD
You said it would be here I know that’s what I said. *
yesterday! That’s what they told me!

FEAR (O.S.)
Mom and Dad are stressed out!

FEAR/ANGER/DISGUST/SADNESS
They’re arguing!/What are we going
to do?/This is so stressful./What
is their problem?

Joy runs to storage and grabs what looks to be a LIGHTBULB.

JOY
I’ve got a great idea!

She clicks the IDEA into the console.
INSIDE OUT 17.

INT. SAN FRANCISCO LIVING ROOM - DAY

Riley’s face lights up. Riley grabs her hockey stick. Puts a
wad of paper in play.

MOM DAD
Did you even read the Honey, you act like this is
contract? my fault-- *

RILEY
Andersen makes her move. She's
closing in!

DAD
(grabbing a broom)
Hey! Oh, no you’re not!

RILEY
She’s lining up for the shot!

DAD
Coming behind you! Watch out!

She slides past him. Knocks the “puck” into the fireplace.

RILEY
She shoots and she scores! Yeah!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

The Emotions cheer. Out the back window, Family Island runs.


INT. SAN FRANCISCO LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

RILEY
(taunting Mom)
Come on, Grandma!

MOM
Ha! “Grandma?”


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Uh-oh, she put her hair up, we’re
in for it!
INSIDE OUT 18.

INT. SAN FRANCISCO LIVING ROOM

They all play hockey, Mom using a pillow to guard the “goal.”
Dad picks her up to shoot past her.

MOM
(laughing)
Woo! Hey, put me down!

Dad scoops up Riley, too. Riley giggles.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

A happy memory rolls in. Joy’s back in charge.


INT. SAN FRANCISCO LIVING ROOM

Dad’s cell phone beeps.

DAD
Ugh. Sorry, hold on, hold on.
(answers)
Hello?


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Wait. Wha--?


INT. SAN FRANCISCO LIVING ROOM

DAD
You’re kidding. All right. Stall
for me, I’ll be right there.
(hangs up)
The investor’s supposed to show up
on Thursday, not today! I gotta go.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy is disappointed.


INT. SAN FRANCISCO LIVING ROOM

MOM
It's okay. We get it.
INSIDE OUT 19.

DAD
You’re the best. Thanks, Hon.
(to Riley, as he leaves)
See you, Sweetie.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
Dad just left us.

SADNESS
Oh, he doesn’t love us anymore.
That’s sad. I should drive, right?

JOY BLOCKS HER.

SADNESS (CONT’D)
Joy? What are you doing?

JOY
Uh, just uh, gimme one second...
You know what I’ve realized? Riley
hasn’t had lunch!
(takes a memory off the
wall and plays it)
Remember?

MEMORY: A PIZZA SHOP.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley and her family arrive at their new home in San Francisco, but the unfamiliar surroundings and a dead mouse discovery leave Riley's emotions in disarray. Joy tries to rally the team by visualizing a cozy room for Riley, but the delayed arrival of their belongings leads to tension. The family finds a temporary solution in a game of hockey, boosting their spirits. However, Dad's departure to meet an investor leaves Riley and her mom feeling a bit down.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Creative concept of personified emotions
  • Emotional depth and resonance
Weaknesses
  • Lack of major character development
  • Limited external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor, emotion, and character development to create an engaging and entertaining sequence that advances the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of emotions as characters inside Riley's mind is innovative and well-executed, adding depth and humor to the narrative. The scene effectively explores the impact of emotions on Riley's behavior and decisions.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the family moving to a new house, highlighting the challenges and emotions that come with such a significant change. The introduction of conflict and resolution keeps the audience engaged.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the theme of resilience and adaptation, with unique character interactions and humorous moments that set it apart from typical scenes of moving into a new house.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, representing different emotions, are well-defined and play distinct roles in the scene. Their interactions and reactions add depth and humor to the narrative.

Character Changes: 6

While there is not a significant character arc in this scene, the emotions experience minor shifts in their attitudes and behaviors as they navigate the challenges of moving day.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain a positive attitude and find opportunities in the face of adversity, reflecting their need for optimism and resilience.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to adapt to their new living situation and make the best of it, reflecting the immediate challenge of adjusting to a less than ideal environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict arises from the family's disappointment with the new house and the stress of the moving process. The emotions' reactions to the situation create tension and humor.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds conflict and tension, creating obstacles for the characters to overcome and driving the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on the emotional impact of moving to a new house rather than life-threatening situations. However, the characters' reactions make the stakes feel significant.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the new setting, establishing the family dynamics, and setting up potential conflicts and resolutions. It sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in the characters' reactions and the humorous moments that keep the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict revolves around finding positivity and opportunity in difficult circumstances, challenging the characters' beliefs about their ability to overcome challenges and find happiness.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits a range of emotions from the audience, including joy, anxiety, and empathy. The characters' emotional responses resonate with viewers and enhance the storytelling.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and personalities of the characters, contributing to the humor and tone of the scene. The banter between the emotions adds comedic value.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its humor, emotional depth, and relatable themes of resilience and adaptation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, leading to a satisfying resolution and character development.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character arcs and a cohesive narrative flow, fitting the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the exterior of the house to Headquarters, which may be confusing for the audience.
  • The introduction of the Emotions' voices as voiceovers can be distracting and disrupt the flow of the scene.
  • The Emotions' reactions to the new house feel exaggerated and over-the-top, which may not resonate with the audience.
  • The dialogue between the Emotions lacks depth and complexity, making their interactions feel one-dimensional.
  • The resolution of the conflict with the dead mouse and the Emotions' reactions could be more nuanced and realistic.
Suggestions
  • Consider smoother transitions between locations to improve the coherence of the scene.
  • Integrate the Emotions' voices more seamlessly into the narrative to avoid disrupting the scene's flow.
  • Add more subtlety and depth to the Emotions' reactions to make them more relatable and engaging.
  • Enhance the dialogue between the Emotions to add layers to their personalities and interactions.
  • Develop a more realistic and nuanced resolution to conflicts to make the scene more emotionally resonant.



Scene 6 -  Broccoli Pizza and Dinosaur Memories
INT. SAN FRANCISCO LIVING ROOM

RILEY
Hey I saw a pizza place down the
street. Maybe we could try that?

MOM
Pizza sounds delicious!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR/ANGER/DISGUST
Yeah!/Pizza!/Good idea, Joy.

Joy smiles.


INT. PIZZA PLACE - DAY

Riley and Mom get their pizza. On it: broccoli.
INSIDE OUT 20.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR/JOY/DISGUST
What the HECK IS THAT?!/Who puts
broccoli on pizza?/That’s it. I’m
done.

ANGER
Congratulations, San Francisco,
you’ve ruined pizza! First the
Hawaiians, and now YOU!


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET - LATER

Mom and Riley walk home. Riley looks disappointed.

MOM
What kind of a pizza place only
serves one kind of pizza? Must be a
San Francisco thing, huh?


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy glances at the wall of multi-colored memories. She sighs:
things are not going well.


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET - CONTINUOUS

MOM
Still, it’s not as bad as the soup
at that diner in Nebraska.

RILEY
Oh yeah. The spoon stood up in the
soup by itself! That was
disgusting.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy looks out the back window. Family Island is going.

JOY
Oh good. Family is running.


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET

MOM
The drive out was pretty fun, huh?
What was your favorite part?
INSIDE OUT 21.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
Spitting out the car window!

DISGUST
Definitely not when Dad was
singing.

FEAR
Wearing a seat belt!

JOY
What about the time with the
dinosaur!

Joy pulls up a memory.

SADNESS/FEAR/ANGER/DISGUST
Yeah./Yup./That’s the one.

ON THE SCREEN: Riley and Mom pose in front of a roadside
cement dinosaur in Vernal, Utah.

DAD (ON SCREEN)
Say cheese!

Behind Dad, the car rolls down the hill. No brakes!

RILEY (ON SCREEN)
Dad! Dad! Look behind you.

MOM (ON SCREEN)
Honey. The car! The car!

DAD (ON SCREEN)
Hold still. Huh?
(runs off after the car)
Stoooop! No no no nononono!!

Stegosaurus tail through the back window. The family laughs.

Enjoying the memory, Joy and the others chuckle.

FEAR
Nice one, Joy.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley and her mom order a pizza in San Francisco with broccoli, which initially upsets the emotions in Riley's head. During their drive home, they reminisce about their trip and a scary encounter with a dinosaur. Joy pulls up a memory of the incident, which ends in laughter for the family, calming the emotions and shifting the tone from disappointment to joy.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Creative concept of emotions as characters
  • Nostalgic memories shared by the family
Weaknesses
  • Relatively low stakes
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor, nostalgia, and character development to engage the audience and move the story forward.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of emotions as characters inside Riley's head is innovative and well-executed, adding depth and humor to the narrative.

Plot: 7

The plot introduces conflict and resolution through Riley's disappointment with the pizza and the family reminiscing about past adventures, setting up future dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the concept of pizza toppings and explores the theme of family bonding through shared memories. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust, and Sadness are well-defined and contribute to the scene's humor and emotional depth.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions and memories shared hint at potential growth and development for the characters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate her emotions and memories surrounding her experiences in San Francisco, particularly her disappointment with the pizza and the lack of variety in the pizza place.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to bond with her mom and reminisce about their road trip experiences, highlighting the importance of family and shared memories.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict between Riley's disappointment with the pizza and the family's differing opinions on their favorite memories adds tension and humor to the scene.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with the characters facing challenges related to their differing opinions on food and family memories.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on humor, nostalgia, and character dynamics rather than high-stakes drama.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the family dynamics, introducing key memories, and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twist of broccoli on pizza and the humorous family memories that unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between traditional and unconventional food choices, reflecting broader themes of acceptance and open-mindedness.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions from joy and amusement to nostalgia and disappointment, connecting the audience to the characters' experiences.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals the personalities of the characters, enhancing the scene's humor and emotional impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it balances humor with emotional depth, creating a relatable and entertaining experience for the audience.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively balances dialogue, action, and reflection, maintaining the audience's interest and advancing the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct locations and character interactions, effectively advancing the narrative and developing the protagonist's emotional journey.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear connection between the events happening in Riley's external world (ordering pizza with broccoli) and the reactions of her emotions in Headquarters.
  • The dialogue between Riley and her mom feels disconnected from the emotions' reactions in Headquarters, making the scene feel disjointed.
  • The transition between the external world and Headquarters is abrupt and could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
  • The humor in the scene, particularly Anger's reaction to broccoli on pizza, feels forced and could be more subtly integrated into the dialogue.
  • The emotional impact of the memories being played in Headquarters doesn't fully resonate with the external events happening in Riley's life, creating a disconnect for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider establishing a stronger link between the external events and the emotions' reactions to create a more cohesive narrative.
  • Work on integrating the dialogue between Riley and her mom with the emotions' responses in Headquarters to create a seamless transition between the two worlds.
  • Explore ways to smoothly transition between the external world and Headquarters to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • Refine the humor in the scene to make it more organic and in line with the overall tone of the screenplay.
  • Enhance the emotional resonance of the memories being played in Headquarters by aligning them more closely with the events unfolding in Riley's life.



Scene 7 -  The Blueing of Memories
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET

RILEY
(smiling)
I liked that time at the dinosaur.
That was pretty funny.
INSIDE OUT 22.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy’s cheer is cut short when the dinosaur memory TURNS BLUE.


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET - DAY

Riley’s smile fades.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Wait. What? What happened?

Joy looks back. Sadness is touching the memory.

FEAR
She did something to the memory.

Joy tries to fix the memory.

JOY
What did you do?

SADNESS
I just touched it.

JOY
That shouldn’t make it change.

FEAR
Change it back, Joy!

Joy rubs it, but the memory stays blue.

JOY
I’m trying.

ANGER
You can’t change it back?

JOY
No, I guess I can’t!

DISGUST
Good going Sadness. Now when Riley
thinks of that moment with Dad,
she’s gonna feel sad. Bravo.

SADNESS
I’m sorry Joy... I don’t really
know-- I thought maybe, if you-- if
I-- if... I mean...
INSIDE OUT 23.

DISGUST
Joy, we've got a stairway coming up.


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET - DAY

Riley runs towards a stairway and handrail.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Just don’t touch any other memories
until we figure out what’s going on.

SADNESS
Okay.

JOY
(stepping up to controls)
Alright. Get ready, this is a
monster railing, and we are riding
it all the way down!


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET - CONTINUOUS

Riley sits on the railing, ready to slide.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy looks back: GOOFBALL ISLAND is whirring like crazy.


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET

Riley goes to slide... but hops off and walks down instead.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Wait, what? What happened?

Suddenly a CORE MEMORY ROLLS up to Joy’s feet.

FEAR
A core memory!

JOY
Oh no!
INSIDE OUT 24.

Out the back window, GOOFBALL ISLAND GOES DARK. Joy rushes to
the Core Memory Holder.

JOY (CONT’D)
Sadness! What are you doing?

SADNESS
It looked like one was crooked so I
opened it and then it fell out!

Joy pops the memory back in. GOOFBALL ISLAND comes back on.


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET

Riley jumps back on the railing and slides down.

RILEY
Woo hoo!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

SADNESS
It’s just that... I wanted to maybe
hold one.

She reaches out to touch one, AND IT STARTS TO GO BLUE.

FEAR
JOY!

Joy pushes Sadness away before she can touch it.

JOY
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

The core memory TURNS BACK TO YELLOW.

JOY (CONT’D)
Sadness! You nearly touched a core
memory. And when you touch them, we
can’t change them back!

SADNESS
I know. I’m sorry. Something’s
wrong with me. It’s like I’m having
a breakdown.

JOY
You are not having a breakdown.
It’s stress.
INSIDE OUT 25.

SADNESS
I keep making mistakes like that.
I’m awful...

JOY
Nooo, you’re not.

SADNESS
...and annoying.

JOY
Well... uh... You know what? You
can’t focus on what’s going wrong.
There’s always a way to turn things
around, to find the fun!

SADNESS
Yeah. Find the fun. I don’t know
how to do that.

JOY
Okay. Well, try think of something
funny!

Long pause.

SADNESS
Oh! Remember the funny movie where
the dog dies?

JOY
Yeah, that’s not...
(tries another approach)
What about that time with Meg, when
Riley laughed so hard milk came out
of her nose? I mean come on...

INSERT: Riley spitting milk out of her nose, Meg laughing.

SADNESS
Yeah, that hurt. It felt like fire.

JOY
Okay, okay, don’t think of that.
Let’s try something else. What are
your favorite things to do?

SADNESS
My favorite? Um, well, I like it
when we’re outside.

JOY
That’s good! Like there’s the beach
and sunshine... Oh!
(MORE)
INSIDE OUT 26.
JOY (CONT'D)
Like that time we buried Dad in the
sand up to his neck?

INSERT: Riley at beach, Dad buried in sand.

SADNESS (V.O.)
I was thinking more like rain.

INSERT: Riley stands in a downpour.

JOY
Rain? Rain... is my favorite too!
We can stomp around in puddles...

INSERT: Riley happily jumps through puddles.

JOY (CONT’D)
There’s cool umbrellas, lightning
storms...

SADNESS (V.O.)
More like when the rain runs down
our back and makes our shoes soggy.
And we get all cold and shivery...

INSERT: Riley’s shoes fill with water. She looks miserable.

SADNESS
...and everything just starts
feeling droopy...

Sadness melts to the floor, crying.

JOY
Oh, hey, hey... easy. Why are you
crying? That’s really the opposite
of what we’re going for here.

SADNESS
Crying helps me slow down and
obsess over the weight of life's
problems.

JOY
Ugh, you know what? Let’s think
about something else. How about we
read some mind manuals, huh? Sounds
fun!

She drags Sadness over to a shelf of technical manuals.

SADNESS
I’ve read most of them.
INSIDE OUT 27.

JOY
Well have you read this one? This
seems interesting: “Long-Term
Memory Retrieval, Volume 47?”

SADNESS
No.

JOY
Ohhh! A real page turner!

SADNESS
(opens manual; reads)
“Long-Term Memory Data Selection
via channel sub-grouping?”

JOY
See? Fun already! You lucky dog,
you’re reading these cool things and
I gotta go work. Life is so unfair.

Joy walks away. But just as she thinks things are handled...
DING! Another memory -- Disgust -- slides in. Joy groans.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary As Riley slides down a railing in San Francisco, Joy desperately tries to keep her happy. Inside Riley's head, Sadness struggles to control her emotions, accidentally turning memories blue and nearly touching a core memory, plunging Goofball Island into darkness. Joy attempts to distract Sadness with happy thoughts and manuals, but her efforts are met with challenges as Sadness continues to struggle. The scene ends with Joy realizing that despite her efforts, Sadness's emotional struggles are far from over.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Humorous moments
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Minor pacing issues

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor, emotion, and character development to create a compelling and engaging narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of personifying emotions and exploring memory storage is innovative and well-executed, adding depth to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot advances through the introduction of conflict and character dynamics, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and imaginative concept of personifying emotions and exploring their impact on human behavior. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and show growth, particularly in how they interact with each other and handle emotional challenges.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters, especially Sadness, show growth and development through their interactions and emotional experiences.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain Riley's emotional balance and prevent Sadness from affecting her core memories.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to prevent Sadness from touching any more memories and causing further emotional turmoil for Riley.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict between Joy and Sadness, as well as the challenge of managing memories, creates tension and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Sadness posing a significant challenge to Joy's efforts to maintain Riley's emotional balance.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are not extremely high in this scene, the emotional well-being of Riley and the dynamics of her mind are at risk, adding tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key concepts, developing character relationships, and setting up future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions of the characters and the emotional twists that keep the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle between embracing sadness as a natural emotion and trying to maintain a facade of happiness. Joy represents the desire to always be positive, while Sadness represents the acceptance of negative emotions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to sadness, making it impactful and resonant with the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, emotional depth, and suspenseful moments that keep the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' emotional journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene introduces a conflict between Joy and Sadness when Sadness accidentally turns a memory blue, leading to a struggle to fix it.
  • The dialogue between the emotions feels a bit repetitive and could benefit from more variety in responses and interactions.
  • The visual elements of the scene could be enhanced to better showcase the emotions' reactions and the impact of the blue memory.
  • The transition between Riley's external actions and the internal emotions' reactions could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The emotional dynamics between Joy and Sadness could be further explored to deepen their relationship and character development.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth to the conflict by exploring the root cause of Sadness' actions and how it affects the other emotions.
  • Introduce more varied responses and interactions between the emotions to keep the dialogue engaging and dynamic.
  • Enhance the visual representation of the blue memory and its impact on the emotions to visually convey the emotional turmoil.
  • Smooth out the transitions between Riley's external actions and the internal emotions' reactions to maintain a cohesive narrative flow.
  • Further develop the emotional dynamics between Joy and Sadness to showcase their growth and understanding throughout the scene.



Scene 8 -  Fear and Frustration in the New Home
INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE - NIGHT

Riley hops down the stairs towards the living room.

DAD (O.S.)
(on phone)
What can we do? We’ve only got
capital to last a month, maybe two.
If we can't find investors by then,
we’re going to have to lay people
off.

Riley hears the stress in Dad’s voice.

RILEY
Mom! Dad! Come kiss me g’night!

MOM
Be right there!

DAD
(on phone)
I know, I know! We’ve got to land
this, okay?

Riley heads back upstairs.
INSIDE OUT 28.

INT. RILEY’S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Riley climbs into her sleeping bag.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
Did you hear Dad? He sounded really
upset.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

STRANGE NOISES from outside. Headlights cast shadows on the
wall. Riley looks scared.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
What was that? Was it a bear? It’s
a bear!

DISGUST
There are no bears in San
Francisco!

ANGER
I saw a really hairy guy. He looked
like a bear.

FEAR
Oh, I’m so jumpy, my nerves are
shot!

DISGUST
Ew, I don’t want to hear about your
nerves!

ANGER
I’ll tell you what it is. This move
has been a bust.

FEAR
That’s what I’ve been telling you
guys! There are at least 37 things
for Riley to be scared of right now!

DISGUST
The smell alone is enough to make
her gag.
INSIDE OUT 29.

ANGER
I can’t believe Mom and Dad moved
us here!

JOY
Look, I get it. You guys have
concerns. But we’ve been through
worse! Tell you what: let’s make a
list of all the things Riley should
be HAPPY about!

ANGER
Fine. Let’s see... this house
stinks, our room stinks...

DISGUST
Pizza is weird here...

SADNESS
Our friends are back home...

FEAR
And all of our stuff is in the
missing van!

JOY
Oh c’mon, it could be worse...

DISGUST
Yeah, Joy. We could be lying on the
dirty floor. In a bag.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley is trying to sleep in her new room but is disturbed by strange noises outside. This triggers fear and anxiety in her Headquarters, where her emotions argue about the move. Fear is worried about the noises, Anger blames the move for everything, Disgust is disgusted by the new surroundings, and Sadness misses their friends. Joy tries to encourage them to focus on the positive aspects of the move, but their brainstorming session is interrupted by another negative memory, Disgust, before they can find a solution.
Strengths
  • Innovative concept of emotions as characters
  • Humorous dialogue and interactions
  • Emotional depth and relatability
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
  • Stakes could be higher to increase tension

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor, emotion, and conflict to engage the audience and move the story forward.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of emotions as characters inside Riley's head is innovative and adds depth to the storytelling, allowing for a unique exploration of internal conflict and growth.

Plot: 8

The plot effectively introduces the challenges Riley faces during the move, setting up conflicts and emotional arcs for the characters.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to depicting family dynamics and internal struggles through the personification of emotions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, particularly the emotions inside Riley's head, are well-developed and provide a diverse range of perspectives and reactions to the situation.

Character Changes: 7

The scene shows the beginning of character development for the emotions inside Riley's head, particularly Sadness, as they navigate the challenges of the move.

Internal Goal: 8

Riley's internal goal is to seek comfort and reassurance from her parents amidst the stressful situation. This reflects her deeper need for security and stability.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the challenges of moving to a new place and dealing with the financial struggles her family is facing. This reflects the immediate circumstances and obstacles she is encountering.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict between the different emotions inside Riley's head and the external challenges she faces creates tension and drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting perspectives and challenges that create obstacles for the protagonist to overcome.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are not life-threatening, the emotional stakes are high as Riley and her family navigate the challenges of moving to a new city and home.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, deepening character relationships, and setting up future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting emotional dynamics and unexpected reactions of the characters, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' differing perspectives on the challenges they are facing. Joy tries to find positivity in the situation, while Fear, Disgust, and Anger focus on the negative aspects.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits a range of emotions from the audience, from humor to empathy, as they witness Riley's internal struggles and the efforts of her emotions to cope with the situation.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the personalities of the characters and moves the story forward, though some lines could be more impactful.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic character interactions, humor, and underlying tension that keeps the audience invested in the unfolding events.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, contributing to its overall effectiveness in conveying the characters' struggles and conflicts.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively transitioning between different locations and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus and direction, jumping between Riley's actions in the house and the interactions of the emotions in Headquarters, which can be confusing for the audience.
  • The dialogue between the emotions feels forced and lacks depth, with each emotion simply stating their concerns without much nuance or development.
  • The transition between Riley's actions and the emotions' reactions is abrupt and disjointed, making it difficult to follow the emotional arc of the scene.
  • The scene fails to effectively convey the internal struggles of the emotions and their impact on Riley's behavior, missing an opportunity to deepen the emotional stakes of the story.
  • The conflict between the emotions and their attempts to find positivity in the situation is not fully explored or resolved, leaving the scene feeling incomplete.
Suggestions
  • Consider focusing on either Riley's perspective or the emotions' perspective to provide a clearer narrative thread.
  • Develop the dialogue between the emotions to reflect their individual personalities and motivations more effectively.
  • Create a smoother transition between Riley's actions and the emotions' reactions to maintain coherence and flow in the scene.
  • Explore the internal struggles of the emotions in more depth to highlight their impact on Riley's emotions and actions.
  • Ensure that the conflict introduced in the scene is resolved or progressed to maintain the momentum of the story.



Scene 9 -  Joy Takes the Lead
INT. RILEY’S ROOM

Riley is lying on the dirty floor in a sleeping bag.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Okay, I admit it, we had a rough
start. But think of all the good
things that--

ANGER
No, Joy. There’s absolutely no
reason for Riley to be happy right
now. Let us handle this.

FEAR
I say we skip school tomorrow and
lock ourselves in the bedroom.
INSIDE OUT 30.

DISGUST
We have no clean clothes. I mean,
no one should see us.

SADNESS
Yeah, we could cry until we can’t
breathe.

ANGER
We should lock the door and scream
that curse word we know. It’s a
good one!

JOY
Now hold on! Look, we all have our
off days. You know, I--

ON THE SCREEN: Mom opens Riley’s bedroom door.

MOM
Hi honey.

ANGER
The Mom Bad News Train is pulling
in! Toot toot!


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

Mom sits next to Riley.

MOM
Still no moving van. Now they’re
saying it won’t be here ‘til
Tuesday, can you believe it?


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
Toot toot toot!


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

RILEY
Where’s Dad?

MOM
On the phone. This new venture is
keeping him pretty busy. Your dad’s
a little stressed -- you know,
about getting his new company up
and running...
INSIDE OUT 31.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
I rest my case!

Joy sighs. She falls back from the controls. Anger steps up
to the console.

ANGER (CONT’D)
Now for a few well-placed withering
scowls.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

MOM
I guess all I really want to say
is: thank you.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
Huh?

Anger drops the controls.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

MOM
You know, through all this
confusion you’ve stayed... well,
you’ve stayed our happy girl!

Mom brushes Riley’s cheek.

MOM (CONT’D)
Your dad’s under a lot of pressure.
But if you and I can keep smiling,
it would be a big help. We can do
that for him, right?


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy, smiling with renewed purpose, steps back to the console.

JOY
Whoa! Well.
INSIDE OUT 32.

INT. RILEY’S ROOM

RILEY
(smiles)
Yeah! Sure.

MOM
What did we do to deserve you?
(kisses Riley)
Sweet dreams.

RILEY
Good night.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
Well, you can’t argue with Mom.
“Happy” it is.

FEAR DISGUST
Team Happy! Sounds great! I’m totally behind you, Joy.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

Riley goes to sleep.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

The screen goes black.

JOY
Looks like we’re going into REM. I
got Dream Duty, so I’ll take care
of sending these to Long Term.
Great day today, guys! Sleep well
TEAM HAPPY!

The team heads off to bed.

Harp music plays.

JOY (CONT’D)
Alright, what's on tonight, Dream
Production?

ON THE SCREEN: a DREAM COMES UP.

The family FLIES happily through the air in the car. They
land in front of the house--
INSIDE OUT 33.

DAD
Well, this is it. The new place.

-- except it’s haunted! Organ music. Ghosts howling. The dead
mouse rises up into frame.

MOUSE
Come live with me, Riley!

The mouse falls over, dead. A bear enters, holding a pizza.

PIZZA BEAR
Somebody order a broccoli pizza?

The pizza slices hop up and dance a jig.

PIZZA SLICE
Eat me! I’m organic!
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley is upset about moving and lies in her room in a sleeping bag. Her mother tries to comfort her, reminding her of her happy nature. Meanwhile, the emotions in headquarters argue about how to handle Riley's distress, with Anger initially dominating. However, inspired by Riley's mother's words, Joy steps up and rallies the emotions to work together to bring Riley happiness. As Riley eventually falls asleep, the emotions enter REM sleep mode, transitioning into the world of Riley's dreams.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Heartwarming moments
  • Creative concept of emotions as characters
Weaknesses
  • Low conflict level
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor, heartwarming moments, and character development, making it engaging and entertaining for the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of emotions as characters inside Riley's head is innovative and well-executed, adding depth and humor to the story.

Plot: 7

The plot focuses on Riley's adjustment to a new home and the emotions' efforts to maintain a positive outlook, providing a good balance of humor and emotional depth.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to depicting internal emotional struggles through the personification of emotions and their interactions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially the emotions, are well-developed and engaging, each contributing to the scene's humor and emotional impact.

Character Changes: 6

While there is some development in the emotions' interactions and Riley's family dynamics, the character changes are not significant in this scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain a sense of happiness and positivity despite the challenges she is facing. This reflects her deeper need for emotional stability and resilience in the face of adversity.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate the stress and pressure her father is under and to support him by staying positive. This reflects the immediate circumstances of her father's new venture and the delayed moving van.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is some internal conflict among the emotions, the overall conflict level is relatively low, focusing more on humor and character dynamics.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' struggles.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on humor and character interactions than on high-stakes drama.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the emotions' roles and dynamics, setting up future conflicts and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' actions and dialogue, keeping the audience on their toes about how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of maintaining happiness and positivity in the face of challenges. The emotions debate how to handle the situation, with Anger advocating for expressing negative emotions while Joy promotes staying happy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions from the audience, including humor, warmth, and empathy, making it emotionally engaging.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reflective of each character's personality, enhancing the scene's entertainment value.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the emotions, the relatable struggles of the protagonist, and the humorous dialogue that keeps the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, leading to a satisfying resolution that advances the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and a coherent progression of events.


Critique
  • The scene effectively showcases the internal conflict within Riley's mind as her emotions react to the situation in her life.
  • The dialogue between the emotions is engaging and highlights their distinct personalities and perspectives.
  • The transition between Riley's room and Headquarters is seamless and helps to connect the internal and external conflicts.
  • The scene effectively conveys the emotions' struggle to maintain a positive outlook despite the challenges Riley is facing.
  • The visual elements, such as the dead mouse and the dancing pizza slices, add a whimsical and comedic touch to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth to the emotions' reactions to the situation, showcasing a wider range of emotions and internal conflicts.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more visual cues or metaphors to enhance the audience's understanding of the emotions' dynamics.
  • Provide more insight into Riley's thoughts and feelings during the scene to further connect the internal and external conflicts.
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection or growth for Riley or the emotions to show development or change in their perspectives.
  • Ensure that the transition between Riley's room and Headquarters remains clear and cohesive throughout the scene.



Scene 10 -  Joy's Master Plan for a Great First Day
INT. RILEY’S ROOM

Riley frowns in her sleep.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Ah, NO, who is in charge of
programming down there?! I know I’m
not supposed to do this, but...

Joy ducks behind the console and REBOOTS it. The dream ends.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - NIGHT

Riley still looks troubled.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
We are not going to end the day
like this.

Joy has a thought. She recalls a memory.

ON THE SCREEN: Riley ice skates with her parents.

Joy watches, loving this kid. She shadows Riley, “skating”
around headquarters.
INSIDE OUT 34.

JOY (CONT’D)
Don’t you worry. I’m gonna make
sure that tomorrow is another great
day. I promise.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - NIGHT

Riley SMILES in her sleep.


INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

Riley excitedly snarfs down breakfast cereal.


INT. HEADQUARTERS - MORNING

Joy plays the accordion around Headquarters. The others
appear, looking grumpy. Joy yells over the noise.

JOY
Hello! Did I wake you?

ANGER
DO you have to play that?

JOY
Well, I have to practice. And I
don’t think of it as playing so
much as hugging.

She tosses aside the accordion and runs off.

JOY (CONT’D)
Okay, first day of school! Very,
very exciting! I was up late last
night figuring out a new plan. Here
it is.
(to Fear)
Fear! I need a list of all the
possible negative outcomes on the
first day at a new school.

FEAR
Way ahead of you there. Does anyone
know how to spell “meteor?”

JOY
Disgust! Make sure Riley stands out
today... but also blends in.
INSIDE OUT 35.

DISGUST
When I’m through, Riley will look
so good the other kids will look at
their own outfits and barf.

JOY
(addressing herself)
Joy! Yes Joy? You’ll be in charge
of the console, keeping Riley happy
all day long. And may I add I love
your dress, it’s adorable. Oh, This
ol’ thing? Thank you so much, I
love the way it twirls...

TOOT TOOT! A TRAIN rushes by outside.

JOY (CONT’D)
Train of Thought! Right on
schedule.

The engineer waves from the cab and drops off a large bag.

JOY (CONT’D)
Anger! Unload the daydreams. I
ordered extra in case things get
slow in class.

ANGER
Might come in handy, if this new
school is full of boring useless
classes, which it probably will
be...

Sadness walks by. Joy stops her.

JOY
Oh - Sadness! I have a super
important job just for you.

SADNESS
Really?

JOY
Mmm-hmmm. Follow me.

CUT TO:


THE BACK OF THE ROOM

Joy draws a chalk circle on the floor around Sadness’s feet.

SADNESS
What are you doing?
INSIDE OUT 36.

JOY
(finishing the circle)
And... there. Perfect. This is the
circle of Sadness. Your job is to
make sure that all the Sadness
stays inside of it.

SADNESS
So... you want me to just stand
here?

JOY
Hey, it’s not MY place to tell you
how to do your job. Just make sure--
(nudging Sadness’ foot back
over the line)
--ALL the Sadness stays in the
circle.

Sadness stands there.

JOY (CONT’D)
See? You’re a pro at this! Isn’t
this fun?!

SADNESS
No.

JOY
(heading to the console)
Atta girl. Alright everyone, fresh
start! We are gonna to have a good
day, which will turn into a good
week, which will turn into a good
year, which turns into a good LIFE!
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Joy, determined to make Riley's first day of school a success, rallies the other emotions. She assigns Fear to list potential negative outcomes, Disgust to ensure Riley stands out but fits in, and Anger to clear out daydreams. Sadness, despite her reluctance, is tasked with keeping all sadness within a chalk circle. Joy's confident plan for a good day, week, year, and life sets the stage for a positive start to Riley's school experience.
Strengths
  • Creative concept of personified emotions
  • Engaging dialogue and character interactions
  • Emotional depth and resonance
Weaknesses
  • Some characters may be more developed than others
  • Limited external conflict or high stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively introduces the concept of Headquarters and sets up the dynamics between the different emotions. It also establishes the central conflict of Riley adjusting to a new home and school, creating intrigue and emotional depth.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of personified emotions and their influence on Riley's behavior is innovative and engaging. It adds a layer of complexity to the storytelling and allows for deeper exploration of the character's internal struggles.

Plot: 8

The plot introduces multiple storylines, including Riley's first day at a new school and her family's adjustment to a new home. It sets up conflicts and challenges that will drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh concept of personified emotions controlling the protagonist's actions, adding authenticity to the characters' emotions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are well-defined and each emotion has a distinct personality. Joy's optimism and leadership, Sadness's vulnerability, Anger's fiery temperament, and Disgust's snarkiness create a dynamic group dynamic.

Character Changes: 7

The scene sets up the potential for character growth and change, particularly for Sadness who is struggling to find her place in Headquarters. It hints at future development and challenges for the characters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate her emotions and find a balance between them to have a good day at school. This reflects her deeper need for emotional stability and happiness.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to have a successful first day at a new school and make a good impression on her peers. This reflects the immediate challenge of adapting to a new environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The scene introduces internal and external conflicts, such as Riley's struggles with adjusting to a new home and school, as well as the tensions between the different emotions in Headquarters. These conflicts create tension and drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty about the protagonist's success in managing her emotions and experiences.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are not extremely high in this scene, the emotional and psychological challenges faced by Riley and her emotions create a sense of importance and urgency. The outcome of their struggles will have a significant impact on Riley's well-being.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, establishing character dynamics, and setting up future plot developments. It lays the groundwork for future events and challenges.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions between the personified emotions and the protagonist, keeping the audience intrigued.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between embracing and managing different emotions. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the importance of each emotion in shaping her experiences.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from joy and hope to sadness and uncertainty. It establishes a strong emotional connection with the audience and sets up potential for character growth and development.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the personalities of the different emotions and sets up the conflicts and goals of the scene. It is witty, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic interactions between the characters, witty dialogue, and imaginative setting.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue-heavy moments with action and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between different locations and interactions between characters.


Critique
  • The transition from Riley frowning in her sleep to Joy rebooting the console feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The dialogue between Joy and the other emotions in Headquarters could be more dynamic and engaging to capture the audience's attention.
  • The scene lacks a clear visual representation of Riley's troubled state in her room, which could enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The introduction of the Train of Thought and the daydreams feels a bit rushed and could be better integrated into the overall flow of the scene.
  • The interaction between Joy and Sadness regarding the chalk circle of Sadness could be more engaging and could show more of Sadness's reluctance and Joy's persistence.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief transition or visual cue to connect Riley's troubled state in her room to Joy rebooting the console in Headquarters.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Joy and the other emotions by adding more humor, conflict, or depth to their interactions.
  • Include visual cues or actions in Riley's room to show her troubled state more clearly, such as tossing and turning in her sleep or a furrowed brow.
  • Integrate the introduction of the Train of Thought and the daydreams more seamlessly into the dialogue and actions of the scene.
  • Expand the interaction between Joy and Sadness to show more of Sadness's reluctance and Joy's persistence in assigning her the task of staying in the circle of Sadness.



Scene 11 -  First Day Jitters and a Blue Memory
INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE - MORNING

Mom helps Riley on with her backpack. Dad is on the phone.

MOM
So, the big day! New school, new
friends, huh?

RILEY
I know! I’m kinda nervous, but I’m
mostly excited! How do I look? Do
you like my shirt?


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy looks back at Family Island, working away.
INSIDE OUT 37.

INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

MOM
Very cute! You gonna be okay? You
want us to walk with you?


INT. HEADQUARTERS

DISGUST
Mom and Dad? With us in public? No
thank you.

JOY
(operating console)
I’m on it.


INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE

RILEY
Nope, I’m fine. Bye Mom! Bye Dad!

DAD
(covering phone)
Have a good day at school, Monkey!

All three make monkey sounds at each other.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Goofball Island works out the back window.


INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE

Riley giggles as she exits.

MOM
Have a great day, sweetheart.


EXT. SCHOOL - MORNING

Riley walks up to her new school. New kids everywhere. She
hesitates.

FEAR (O.S.)
Are you sure we want to do this?

JOY (O.S.)
In we go!
INSIDE OUT 38.

FEAR (O.S.)
Okayyy! Going in! Yes.

Riley perks up and walks in.


INT. CLASSROOM - MORNING

Riley sits at her desk and looks at the other kids in class.

DISGUST (O.S.)
Okay, we’ve got a group of cool
girls at 2 o’clock.


INT. HEADQUARTERS - CONTINUOUS

JOY
How do you know?

DISGUST
Double ears pierced, infinity
scarf...

A group of makeup-wearing girls look back at Riley.

JOY
Whoa. Is she wearing eye shadow?

DISGUST
Yeah, we want to be friends with
them.

JOY
Let’s go talk to ‘em!

DISGUST
Are you kidding?? We’re not TALKING
to them, we want them to like us.

JOY
Oh!
(then)
Wait, what?

FEAR
(drops a giant stack of
paper on the console)
Almost finished with the potential
disasters. Worst scenario is either
quicksand, spontaneous combustion,
or getting called on by the
teacher. So as long as none of
those happen...
INSIDE OUT 39.

INT. CLASSROOM

TEACHER
Okay, everybody. We have a new
student in class today.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
Are you kidding me?! Out of the
gate? This is not happening!


INT. CLASSROOM

TEACHER
Riley would you like to tell us
something about yourself?


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
Nooooooo! Pretend we can’t speak
English!

JOY
Don't worry. I got this.

Joy pushes a lever.


INT. CLASSROOM

RILEY
Uhh... okay. My name is Riley
Andersen. I’m from Minnesota. And
now I live here.

TEACHER
And how about Minnesota?... Can you
tell us something about it? Well
you certainly get a lot more snow
than we do.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
(laughs)
She’s hilarious!

She turns a lever.
INSIDE OUT 40.

INT. CLASSROOM

Riley smiles, in spite of all the eyes on her.

RILEY
Yeah, it gets pretty cold. The lake
freezes over, and that’s when we
play hockey. I’m on a great team.
We’re called the Prairie Dogs. My
friend Meg plays forward. My Dad’s
the coach. Pretty much everyone in
my family skates.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy recalls a MEMORY: the family skating together.


INT. CLASSROOM

Riley “watches” the memory, smiling.

RILEY
It’s a kind of family tradition. We
go out on the lake almost every
weekend.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy smiles. Then, mysteriously, the IMAGE TURNS BLUE.


INT. CLASSROOM

Riley’s smile fades, her brow furrows.

RILEY
Or we did, ‘til I moved away.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Confused, Joy looks around.

FEAR/DISGUST/ANGER
Huh?/Hey, what gives?/What?

JOY
Hey--

She spots Sadness, who is guiltily touching the memory.
INSIDE OUT 41.

JOY (CONT’D)
Sadness! You touched a memory?! We
talked about this.

SADNESS
Oh yeah, I know. I’m sorry.

JOY
Get back in your circle.
(trying to eject memory)
Gnnh! What’s going on? Why won’t it
eject?!!

She fiddles with the console, but the blue memory won’t move.

FEAR
Get it out of there, Joy!
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley, starting a new school in San Francisco, is nervous but excited. Inside her head, Joy tries to help Riley adjust and make friends, while Disgust focuses on coolness and Fear worries about potential disasters. During Riley's introduction, Joy guides her to give a heartfelt speech, but when Riley mentions leaving her family behind, the memory turns blue, indicating a deeper sadness. Joy struggles to eject the blue memory, leaving the audience with questions about its significance and the conflict between Joy and Sadness.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Creative concept
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some repetitive character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor, emotion, and character development to create an engaging and entertaining narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of emotions as characters in Riley's mind is innovative and well-executed, adding depth and humor to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot of Riley starting a new school is relatable and engaging, with the added layer of her emotions influencing her actions and reactions.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the challenges of starting a new school and the complexities of emotional growth.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger are well-defined and play off each other effectively, adding humor and depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, we see the emotions grappling with their roles and relationships within Riley's mind.

Internal Goal: 8

Riley's internal goal is to navigate her first day at a new school and make a good impression on her classmates.

External Goal: 7

Riley's external goal is to adapt to her new school environment and make friends.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict mainly arises from the internal struggles of Riley's emotions as they try to navigate her first day at a new school.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from Riley's internal struggles and the conflicting emotions of the characters.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on Riley's emotional journey on her first day at school.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing Riley to her new school environment and setting up potential conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in how it navigates Riley's emotional journey and the unexpected actions of the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between Joy's desire to maintain a positive outlook and Sadness's tendency to touch sad memories, leading to a disruption in Riley's emotional state.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions from the audience, from humor to empathy, as we see Riley's emotions at play.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty and character-driven, showcasing the personalities of each emotion and adding humor to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it captures the relatable experience of starting a new school and the emotional challenges that come with it.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth as Riley navigates her first day at a new school.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure that effectively transitions between different locations and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene transitions between Riley's interactions at her new school and the emotions in Headquarters, which can be a bit jarring for the audience.
  • There is a lack of depth in the emotional conflict within the scene, as the focus is primarily on Joy trying to manage the situation.
  • The dialogue between the emotions feels a bit simplistic and could benefit from more nuanced interactions and reactions.
  • The visual cues in the scene, such as the blue memory and the emotions' reactions, are effective in conveying the emotions' struggles.
  • The scene ends abruptly with Joy discovering Sadness touching a memory, leaving the audience hanging without a resolution.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more depth to the emotional conflict by exploring the other emotions' perspectives and reactions in more detail.
  • Try to smooth out the transitions between Riley's interactions at school and the emotions in Headquarters to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Enhance the dialogue between the emotions to make their interactions more engaging and reflective of their distinct personalities.
  • Provide a more satisfying resolution to the scene by addressing the issue of the blue memory and its impact on Riley's emotional state.
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection or realization for Joy to further develop her character arc and the overall emotional journey of the scene.



Scene 12 -  The Blue Memory
INT. CLASSROOM

RILEY
(sniffling)
We used to play tag and stuff...


INT. HEADQUARTERS

DISGUST
Cool kids whispering at 3 o’clock!


INT. CLASSROOM

The other kids whisper and stare.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
Did you see that look?!? They’re
judging us!

JOY
Oh no.

Joy tries pulling the memory. Anger, Fear and Disgust help.

JOY (CONT’D)
Somebody help me. Grab that...
everybody...

They pull with all their might, but the memory’s not budging.
INSIDE OUT 42.

INT. CLASSROOM

RILEY
But everything’s different now.
Since we moved...

TEARS stream down Riley’s face.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
Oh no! We’re CRYING AT SCHOOL!!!

Joy turns to the console. SADNESS IS DRIVING.

JOY
What? No! Sadness, what are you
doing?

Joy finally yanks the memory out. She runs to the console and
pulls Sadness away from the controls.

SADNESS
Oh no, I'm sorry... I... oh...

PING! A memory is created. BRIGHT BLUE.

JOY
Huh?

ANGER
Whoa!

FEAR
It’s a core memory!

DISGUST
But it’s blue!

The bright blue core memory rolls through the memory shelf
and STARTS TOWARDS THE CORE MEMORY HOLDER!

JOY
No wait... stop it! No! Ahh!

Joy leaps to the holder and pops it open, preventing the new
blue core memory from going in. Joy grabs it.

She pushes the end-of-day “memory flush” button. The tube
comes down from the ceiling.
INSIDE OUT 43.

SADNESS
(trying to take her memory
back from Joy)
Joy, no. That’s a core memory, Joy!

JOY
Hey! Stop it. Let go.

As they struggle, they bump into the Core Memory Holder,
KNOCKING ALL OF THE CORE MEMORIES OUT onto the floor.

FEAR/DISGUST/ANGER FEAR
Ahh! The core memories!

Out the window, the ISLANDS OF PERSONALITY GO DARK.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley, overwhelmed by her family's move, cries in class. In Headquarters, Joy tries to pull a happy memory to counter Riley's sadness, but it's stuck. Sadness inadvertently triggers a blue core memory, representing Riley's sadness. Joy attempts to stop it, but the struggle leads to all core memories being knocked out of the holder. The scene ends with the islands of personality going dark, leaving the emotions in panic.
Strengths
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Effective introduction of core memory concept
  • Well-developed characters
Weaknesses
  • Slight confusion in the memory control sequence
  • Some repetitive dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively introduces the concept of core memories and showcases the internal conflict within Riley's mind, leading to a pivotal moment of emotional turmoil.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of emotions as characters and the importance of core memories are central to the scene, providing depth and insight into Riley's internal struggles.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Riley faces challenges at her new school, leading to a significant moment where a core memory is almost lost.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh concept of emotions as characters and explores the complexity of emotional control in a unique way. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters of Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger are well-developed and play crucial roles in driving the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters experience growth and development, especially Sadness, who plays a crucial role in the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate and control her emotions in a challenging social situation. This reflects her deeper need for acceptance and fear of judgment.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to prevent a new core memory from being inserted into her memory bank. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining emotional stability.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The internal conflict within Riley's mind and the struggle to control emotions create a high level of tension and drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition is strong in the scene, with conflicting emotions and external obstacles creating uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as Riley struggles to navigate her new school environment and control her emotions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key concepts and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turn of events and the characters' conflicting motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between the importance of controlling emotions and allowing for vulnerability. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about emotional expression and resilience.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly during Riley's vulnerable moment at school.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and internal conflicts of the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, high stakes, and dynamic character interactions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension and momentum throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The structure follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene transitions and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys Riley's emotional turmoil as she reminisces about her old life before the move and breaks down in tears in the classroom.
  • The use of the emotions in Headquarters adds depth to the scene by showing their reactions and attempts to help Riley navigate her emotions.
  • The struggle between Joy and Sadness over the blue core memory creates tension and highlights the internal conflict within Riley.
  • The visual cues of tears streaming down Riley's face and the bright blue core memory effectively convey the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The dialogue between the emotions and Riley effectively captures the emotional complexity of the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal conflict among the emotions to further highlight Riley's emotional struggle.
  • Explore different ways to visually represent the emotions' actions and reactions to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Provide more insight into Riley's thoughts and feelings during this vulnerable moment to deepen the audience's connection with her.
  • Consider incorporating more subtle cues to show the emotions' internal dynamics and struggles, such as body language and facial expressions.
  • Ensure that the resolution of the conflict between Joy and Sadness is clear and impactful, emphasizing the importance of embracing all emotions in processing complex feelings.



Scene 13 -  Joy and Sadness's Journey to Headquarters
INT. CLASSROOM

Riley, her face tear-stained, looks up.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

JOY
Ahh!

Joy tosses the blue core memory aside to collect the yellow
core memories.

Sadness grabs the blue core memory and heads to the Core
Memory Holder to plug it in. Joy lunges, knocking the blue
core memory out of Sadness’s hands. It’s SUCKED UP the vacuum
tube.

Joy trips backward. In the chaos a yellow core memory rolls
toward the tube.

JOY (CONT’D)
No, no, no, no!

She reaches to grab it and gets sucked up the tube herself,
along with the other core memories -- and Sadness!

Fear, Anger and Disgust now stand alone in Headquarters. A
stunned silence as the tube retracts.


INT. CLASSROOM

Riley sits and wipes her tears.
INSIDE OUT 44.

TEACHER
Thank you, Riley. I know it can be
tough moving to a new place, but
we're happy to have you here.
Alright everyone, get out your
history books and turn to chapter
seven.

Riley hides behind her book.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
Can I say that curse word now?


INT. TUBE

Joy and Sadness scream as they rocket down the tube. Joy
desperately tries to hold on to the core memories.

The blue core memory is sorted to a side tube.


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY CLIFF EDGE

Joy lands in a bin of memories. Sadness crashes next to her.

JOY
Oh no...
(gathering memories)
One, two, three... okay, got ’em.
Wha-- where are we?

Joy takes in the shelving around her.

JOY (CONT’D)
Long-Term Memory...!

Joy grabs the core memories and jumps out of the dumpster.
She sees GOOFBALL ISLAND, silent and dark.

JOY (CONT’D)
Goofball Island.

Joy surveys the islands beyond. They’re all dark.

SADNESS
Hoh... Riley’s Islands of
Personality. They’re ALL down! This
is bad.
INSIDE OUT 45.

JOY
We-- we can fix this. We just have
to get back to Headquarters, plug
the core memories in, and Riley
will be back to normal.

Joy and Sadness hurry towards headquarters.

SADNESS
Riley has no core memories, no
personality islands and no--
(gasp)

JOY
Wha-- What is it?

SADNESS
You! YOU’RE not in headquarters.
Without you, Riley can’t be happy.
We gotta get you back up there.

JOY
I’m coming, Riley.

They set off across the bridge to Goofball Island. We see the
LIGHTLINE beyond it, leading towards Headquarters.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary While Riley struggles to adapt to her new environment, Joy and Sadness get sucked into the vacuum tube, taking crucial core memories with them. Landing in the Long-Term Memory, they discover Riley's personality islands are dark and lifeless. Realizing the urgency of the situation, they set out to return to Headquarters, determined to restore Riley's emotions and personality.
Strengths
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Well-developed concept of core memories and personality islands
  • Engaging conflict between Joy and Sadness
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced
  • Transition between scenes could be smoother

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, emotional, and sets up high stakes for the story. The conflict is well-established, and the emotional impact is strong.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of emotions controlling Riley's mind, core memories shaping her personality, and the importance of maintaining a balance between different emotions is well-developed and central to the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly with the introduction of the core memory crisis and the separation of Joy and Sadness. It sets up the central conflict for the rest of the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to exploring the inner workings of the mind through the personification of emotions and core memories. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger, and Disgust are well-defined and their personalities shine through in their actions and dialogue.

Character Changes: 8

Joy and Sadness undergo significant changes as they are forced to work together and navigate the crisis. Their dynamic evolves as they realize the importance of each other.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to restore order and balance to Riley's mind by retrieving the core memories and returning them to Headquarters. This reflects her deeper desire to ensure Riley's emotional well-being and stability.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate the challenges and obstacles in retrieving the core memories and returning them to Headquarters. This reflects the immediate circumstances of the chaos and disarray in Riley's mind.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Joy and Sadness over the core memories, the separation of the emotions from Headquarters, and the potential consequences for Riley create a high level of tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing difficult challenges and obstacles that add suspense and uncertainty to the narrative.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of losing core memories, personality islands, and the potential impact on Riley's well-being create a sense of urgency and importance in the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major conflict, raising the stakes, and setting up the central dilemma that will drive the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and the challenges they face in retrieving the core memories.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the importance of different emotions in shaping one's personality and behavior. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the role of emotions in decision-making and identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional impact of seeing Joy and Sadness separated, the fear of losing core memories, and the vulnerability of Riley in the face of this crisis is powerful.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters, especially Joy and Sadness during their conflict.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines humor, action, and emotion to create a sense of urgency and chaos, keeping the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively transitioning between different locations and characters to advance the plot.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Riley's tear-stained face to Joy's reaction in Headquarters, which may be disorienting for the audience.
  • The chaos and frantic energy in Headquarters may be overwhelming for viewers, as there are multiple actions happening simultaneously without clear focus.
  • The vacuum tube sequence feels rushed and lacks clarity in terms of the core memories being sucked up and the emotions' reactions.
  • The dialogue between Anger and the other emotions in Headquarters feels out of place and disrupts the flow of the scene.
  • The visual of the core memories going dark and the islands of personality losing their light could be more impactful with better visual cues and transitions.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between Riley's emotional state in the classroom and Joy's reaction in Headquarters to improve the coherence of the scene.
  • Simplify the chaos in Headquarters by focusing on one main action or emotion at a time to avoid overwhelming the audience.
  • Clarify the sequence of events in the vacuum tube to ensure that the audience understands the core memories being sucked up and the emotions' reactions.
  • Refine the dialogue in Headquarters to maintain the emotional tone of the scene and avoid any tonal shifts that may disrupt the narrative flow.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by using more effective visual cues to convey the impact of the core memories going dark and the islands of personality losing their light.



Scene 14 -  Dissonance at Dinner
INT. KITCHEN TABLE - EVENING

Riley and her parents eat dinner.

MOM
So as it turns out the green trash
can is not recycling, it’s for
greens. Like compost. And
eggshells.

DAD
(not really listening)
Mmm.

MOM
And the blue one is recycling. And
the black one is trash.

Riley pushes food around on her plate.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

DISGUST
Riley is acting so weird. Why is
she acting so weird?
INSIDE OUT 46.

ANGER
What do you expect? All the islands
are down.

DISGUST
Joy would know what to do.

FEAR
That’s it! Until she gets back, we
just do what Joy would do!

DISGUST
Great idea! Anger, Fear, Disgust.
How are WE supposed to be happy?

MOM (O.S.)
Hey, Riley. I’ve got good news!


INT. KITCHEN TABLE - CONTINUOUS

MOM
I found a junior hockey league
right here in San Francisco. And
get this: try-outs are tomorrow
after school. What luck, right?


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
Hockey?

DISGUST
Uh-oh. What do we do?

FEAR
Guys, uh, this... Here, you pretend
to be Joy.

Fear pushes Disgust forward. She steps up to drive.


ON THE SCREEN:

MOM
Won’t it be great to be back out on
the ice?
INSIDE OUT 47.

INT. KITCHEN DINING TABLE

RILEY
(sarcastic)
Oh yeah, that sounds fantastic.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
What was that? That wasn’t anything
like Joy.

DISGUST
Uh, because I’m NOT Joy.

FEAR
Yeah, no kidding.


INT. KITCHEN TABLE

Mom, taken aback, eyes Riley. Zoom in to Mom’s head...


INT. MOM’S HEADQUARTERS

MOM’S SADNESS
Did you guys pick up on that?

MOM'S ANGER
Uh-huh.

MOM'S JOY / MOM'S FEAR / MOM'S DISGUST
Oh yeah/Definitely.

MOM’S DISGUST
Something’s wrong.

MOM’S ANGER
Should we ask her?

MOM’S SADNESS
Let’s probe. But keep it subtle, so
she doesn’t notice.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley sits at dinner, seemingly disinterested as her mom excitedly discusses a hockey tryout. Meanwhile, inside Riley's head, her emotions are in disarray, grappling with Joy's absence. Fear proposes mimicking Joy's behavior, and Disgust is chosen to take the lead. Riley's sarcastic response to her mom's news reveals her inner turmoil. Sensing something amiss, her mom contemplates asking Riley what's wrong.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Insightful exploration of emotions
  • Strong character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Slightly predictable plot progression
  • Limited external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor with underlying emotional depth, showcasing the complexities of Riley's feelings during a challenging time.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of personifying emotions and exploring how they interact and influence behavior is innovative and engaging.

Plot: 7

The plot revolves around Riley's struggle to adjust to a new environment, adding depth to the story and setting up potential conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to exploring internal conflicts through the lens of a young girl's emotions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially the emotions inside Riley's head, are well-defined and provide both comedic relief and emotional resonance.

Character Changes: 7

The characters, particularly the emotions, undergo subtle changes as they navigate Riley's emotions and reactions.

Internal Goal: 8

Riley's internal goal in this scene is to navigate her conflicting emotions about her parents' news of joining a hockey league. It reflects her deeper need for stability and understanding in the face of change.

External Goal: 7

Riley's external goal is to respond appropriately to her parents' news about the hockey league tryouts. It reflects the immediate challenge of adjusting to a new activity.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict arises from Riley's internal struggles and the interactions between the emotions, setting up potential growth and resolution.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty about Riley's emotional response.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are not extremely high, the emotional well-being of Riley and the resolution of her internal conflicts are at stake.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by establishing key conflicts and emotional dynamics that will likely impact future events.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected reactions and interactions between Riley's emotions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between conforming to societal expectations and staying true to one's authentic self. This challenges Riley's beliefs about identity and self-expression.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits a range of emotions from humor to empathy, creating a strong emotional connection with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the internal conflicts and dynamics between the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, emotion, and suspense surrounding Riley's reaction to the news.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue, action, and emotional beats.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct visual cues for the different settings.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between the real-world setting and the mind headquarters.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition between Riley's dinner with her parents and the inside of her head, making the shift in focus feel abrupt.
  • The dialogue between the emotions in Headquarters feels forced and lacks depth, with the emotions simply mimicking Joy's behavior instead of showcasing their own unique personalities.
  • The interaction between Riley and her mom at the dinner table is brief and lacks emotional depth, missing an opportunity to explore Riley's feelings further.
  • The inner workings of Mom's head are briefly shown but not fully developed, leaving the audience with unanswered questions about the dynamics of her emotions.
  • The scene ends abruptly without a clear resolution or development of the conflict, leaving the audience hanging and unsure of the next steps.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the dinner table scene and Headquarters to improve the flow of the narrative.
  • Develop the dialogue between the emotions in Headquarters to showcase their individual personalities and reactions to the situation, rather than just imitating Joy.
  • Expand on the interaction between Riley and her mom at the dinner table to delve deeper into Riley's emotions and provide more context for her behavior.
  • Further explore the inner workings of Mom's head to add depth to the scene and provide insight into how her emotions are reacting to the situation with Riley.
  • Provide a more conclusive ending to the scene by either resolving the conflict or setting up the next steps in a clearer manner to keep the audience engaged.



Scene 15 -  First Day Blues
INT. KITCHEN TABLE

MOM
So! How was the first day of
school?
INSIDE OUT 48.

INT. RILEY’S HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
She’s probing us.

DISGUST
I'm done.
(to Fear)
YOU pretend to be Joy.

FEAR
What? Uh... okay... hmm.


INT. KITCHEN TABLE

RILEY
(nervous)
It was fine, I guess, I don't know.


INT. RILEY’S HEADQUARTERS

DISGUST
Oh, very smooth, that was JUST like
Joy.


INT. MOM’S HEADQUARTERS

MOM’S ANGER
Something’s definitely going on.

MOM’S DISGUST
She’s never acted like this before.
What should we do?

MOM’S SADNESS
We’re going to find out what’s
happening. But we’ll need support.
Signal the husband.


INT. KITCHEN TABLE

Mom clears her throat at Dad. He doesn’t notice. Zoom in to
Dad’s head...


INT. DAD’S HEADQUARTERS

All of Dad’s emotions are watching a HOCKEY MATCH, cheering.
INSIDE OUT 49.

SPORTS ANNOUNCER
...with a nice pass over to Reeves,
he comes across center ice...


INT. KITCHEN TABLE

Again Mom stares, clears her throat. Dad looks up, clueless.


INT. DAD’S HEADQUARTERS

DAD’S ANGER
Uh-oh. She’s looking at us.
(turns off the memory)
What did she say?

DAD’S FEAR
What? Uh, sorry, Sir. No one was
listening.

DAD'S ANGER
Is it garbage night? We left the
toilet seat up? What? What is it,
woman, what?!?


INT. MOM’S HEADQUARTERS

MOM’S DISGUST
(re: Dad on the screen)
He’s making that stupid face again.

MOM’S ANGER
I could strangle him right now!

MOM’S SADNESS
Signal him again.


INT. KITCHEN TABLE

Mom raises her eyebrows and tilts her head towards Riley. Dad
finally gets it.

DAD
Ahh, so, Riley! How was school?


INT. MOM’S HEADQUARTERS

Mom’s Emotions give up.
INSIDE OUT 50.

MOM'S JOY / MOM'S SADNESS / MOM'S FEAR
/ MOM'S DISGUST
You gotta be kidding me!/He really
needs to start paying attention./
Is he paying attention at all?

MOM'S ANGER
For THIS we gave up that Brazilian
helicopter pilot?


INT. RILEY’S HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
Move! I’LL be Joy.


INT. KITCHEN TABLE

RILEY
(snarky)
School was great, alright?

MOM
Riley, is everything okay?

Riley rolls her eyes.


INT. DAD’S HEADQUARTERS

DAD’S FEAR
Sir, she just rolled her eyes at us.

DAD’S ANGER
What is her deal? Alright, make a
show of force. I don’t want to have
to put “the Foot” down.

DAD'S FEAR
No. Not the Foot.


INT. KITCHEN TABLE

DAD
Riley, I do NOT like this new
attitude.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley returns home from her first day of school, acting strange and evasive with her parents who are preoccupied with their own issues. Her emotions are in chaos, struggling to control Riley's behavior and present a united front. Despite a brief attempt by her dad to connect, Riley remains resistant, leaving the scene with a sense of disconnect and unspoken emotions.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Insightful exploration of emotions
  • Engaging family dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some characters may come across as one-dimensional
  • Lack of resolution to conflicts in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor, emotion, and conflict to create an engaging and relatable family dynamic.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of emotions as characters interacting inside the characters' heads is innovative and provides a fresh perspective on human behavior and decision-making.

Plot: 7

The plot revolves around the family dinner conversation, highlighting the tension and dynamics between the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to exploring the inner workings of a character's mind through personified emotions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, both inside Riley's head and in the real world, are well-developed and each have distinct personalities that drive the conflict and humor in the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters, particularly Riley, experience internal and external changes as they navigate the dinner conversation, revealing growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate her emotions and maintain a facade of normalcy despite feeling overwhelmed and unsure about her first day of school.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to convince her parents that everything is fine and avoid their scrutiny.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both internally within Riley's head and externally between the family members, adding tension and driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong as the protagonist faces resistance from her parents and her own emotions.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are not life-threatening, the emotional stakes are high as the characters navigate their relationships and communication.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing and developing key conflicts and relationships within the family, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected reactions of the characters and the shifting dynamics within the family.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict is between the protagonist's desire to be honest about her feelings and the pressure to conform to societal expectations of happiness and positivity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions from humor to concern, engaging the audience and creating a connection to the characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, sarcastic, and reveals the inner thoughts and emotions of the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, relatable character dynamics, and the tension between the protagonist's internal and external struggles.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and humor through well-timed interactions and reactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, effectively distinguishing between different locations and character perspectives.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct settings and character interactions, contributing to the overall narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clarity in terms of the emotions' actions and reactions, making it confusing for the audience to follow.
  • The dialogue between the characters, both inside Riley's head and at the kitchen table, feels forced and unnatural, detracting from the authenticity of the scene.
  • The transitions between different characters' heads and the kitchen table are abrupt and disjointed, making it challenging to establish a cohesive flow.
  • The humor in the scene, particularly the interactions between the characters inside the heads, comes across as forced and doesn't land effectively.
  • The emotional depth and complexity of the characters, especially the parents' emotions, are not fully explored, missing an opportunity for a more nuanced portrayal.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the emotions' roles and reactions to make them more distinct and coherent for the audience.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it more natural and reflective of the characters' personalities and emotional states.
  • Smooth out the transitions between different settings and characters' heads to create a more seamless narrative flow.
  • Consider toning down the forced humor and focusing on genuine emotional interactions to enhance the scene's authenticity.
  • Explore the emotional dynamics of the parents' characters further to add depth and complexity to their interactions.



Scene 16 -  The Foot
INT. RILEY’S HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
Oh I’ll show you attitude, old man.
INSIDE OUT 51.

FEAR
No, no, no! Stay happy!

Anger shoves him away and hits a button.


INT. KITCHEN TABLE

RILEY
What is your problem? Just leave me
alone.


INT. DAD’S HEADQUARTERS

DAD’S FEAR
Sir! Reporting high levels of sass!

DAD’S ANGER
Take it to DEFCON 2.

Sirens begin to BLARE.

DAD’S FEAR
You heard that, gentleman. DEFCON 2.


INT. KITCHEN TABLE

DAD
Listen young lady, I don’t know
where this disrespectful attitude
came from...


INT. RILEY’S HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
You want a piece of this, Pops?
Come and get it!

Anger grasps two levers with all his might.


INT. KITCHEN TABLE

RILEY
Yeah, well... well...


INT. DAD’S HEADQUARTERS

DAD’S ANGER
Here it comes... Prepare the Foot!
INSIDE OUT 52.

Dad’s Emotions uncover “Launch Station” buttons, insert keys.

DAD’S FEAR
Keys to safety position! Ready to
launch on your command, Sir!


INT. RILEY’S HEADQUARTERS

ANGER, flames and yell at full blast, pushes up the levers.

INT. KITCHEN TABLE

RILEY
Just SHUT UP!

Dad and Mom are shocked.


INT. DAD’S HEADQUARTERS

DAD’S ANGER
FIRE!


INT. KITCHEN TABLE

DAD
That’s it, go to your room! Now!

Riley pushes away from the table and goes upstairs in a huff.


INT. DAD’S HEADQUARTERS

DAD’S FEAR
The Foot is down! The Foot is down!

They all CHEER.

DAD’S ANGER
Good job gentlemen. That could have
been a disaster.


INT. MOM’S HEADQUARTERS

MOM’S SADNESS
Well, that was a disaster.

Mom’s Anger recalls a memory: the Brazilian helicopter pilot.

HELICOPTER PILOT
Come fly with me, gatinha.
INSIDE OUT 53.

They all SIGH.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley's father, using his own inner emotions of Anger and Fear, confronts Riley's disrespectful behavior. Riley's inner emotions struggle to help her control her frustration. The tense, comedic scene ends with Riley being sent to her room, while her father's emotions celebrate the successful use of 'the Foot' to manage the situation.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Slightly predictable resolution
  • Some cliched moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor, tension, and emotional depth to create an engaging and memorable moment in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of visualizing emotions as characters in control of a person's actions is innovative and well-executed, adding depth and humor to the scene.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene revolves around a family dinner where emotions run high, leading to conflict and resolution, driving the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its portrayal of emotions as characters and the dynamic between them. The dialogue and actions feel authentic and fresh, adding depth to the characters.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, both human and emotional, are well-developed and distinct, each contributing to the dynamics of the scene in a meaningful way.

Character Changes: 7

Several characters experience changes in their emotions and behaviors throughout the scene, adding depth to their development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert her independence and deal with her conflicting emotions. It reflects her deeper need for autonomy and her fear of losing control.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate a tense interaction with her parents and emotions. It reflects the immediate challenge of managing her emotions and asserting herself.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Riley and her parents, as well as the internal conflict among the emotions, creates tension and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting emotions and family dynamics creating obstacles for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high in terms of family relationships and emotional well-being, as the characters navigate conflicts and strive for resolution.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing and resolving conflicts, setting up future events, and deepening the audience's understanding of the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and reactions of the characters, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between control and emotional expression. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about how to handle her emotions and assert herself.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The emotional impact of the scene is significant, as it delves into the complexities of family relationships and the inner turmoil of a young girl.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the inner thoughts and conflicts of the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes and emotional intensity, as well as the humor and relatability of the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest, with well-timed reveals and resolutions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct character actions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between different locations and characters.


Critique
  • The scene lacks subtlety in portraying the conflict between Riley and her parents, as well as the internal struggle within Riley's head. The dialogue and actions are quite on-the-nose and could benefit from more nuance and depth.
  • The escalation of the conflict feels forced and exaggerated, with the use of sirens, DEFCON levels, and the 'Prepare the Foot' command coming across as melodramatic and unrealistic.
  • The resolution of the conflict, with Riley being sent to her room in a huff, feels abrupt and unsatisfying. It doesn't provide a meaningful resolution or growth for the characters involved.
  • The portrayal of the emotions in both Riley's and her parents' heads lacks complexity and dimension. They come across as one-dimensional caricatures rather than fully developed characters with depth and nuance.
  • The scene could benefit from more subtlety in showcasing the emotions' interactions and the dynamics between Riley and her parents. It would be more impactful to explore the underlying emotions and motivations driving the characters' actions.
Suggestions
  • Consider toning down the exaggerated elements of the conflict, such as the DEFCON levels and the 'Prepare the Foot' command, to make the scene feel more grounded and relatable.
  • Focus on developing the characters of Riley, her parents, and the emotions in a more nuanced way, adding layers to their personalities and motivations.
  • Explore more subtle ways to portray the conflict and resolution, allowing for deeper emotional impact and character growth.
  • Consider adding moments of vulnerability and introspection for the characters, allowing for more authentic and meaningful interactions.
  • Work on creating a more cohesive and realistic portrayal of family dynamics and internal struggles, balancing humor with emotional depth.



Scene 17 -  A Crumbling Past
INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Riley slams her bedroom door.


EXT. MIND WORLD, LIGHTLINE

In the distance, Family Island RUMBLES.

Joy and Sadness have made it across Goofball Island and must
now walk across the thin lightline. Below is the darkness of
the Memory Dump.

SADNESS
We’re gonna walk out there? On
that?

JOY
It’s the quickest way back.

SADNESS
But it’s right over the Memory
Dump. If we fall we’ll be forgotten
forever!

JOY
We have to do this. For Riley. Just
follow my footsteps.

SADNESS
Hohh... ok.

JOY
(stepping onto lightline)
It's not that high. It’s totally
fiii... Whoa...

She loses her balance. Almost drops a memory over the side.

Sadness steps out onto the lightline. They inch along.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - LATER

Dad knocks on Riley’s door, peeks in.

DAD
Hey.

Riley’s in her sleeping bag. She doesn’t answer.
INSIDE OUT 54.

DAD (CONT’D)
So uh, things got a little out of
hand downstairs. You want to talk
about it?
(still no answer)
Come on. Where’s my happy girl?
Monkey.
(he tries monkey noises)


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
He’s trying to start up Goofball.

Fear looks at the empty Core Memory Holder, then out the
window: GOOFBALL ISLAND is dark and silent.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

DAD
Come on.
(tries more monkey noises)

Riley looks at Dad, but TURNS AWAY.


EXT. GOOFBALL ISLAND

Goofball Island crumbles and breaks.


EXT. GOOFBALL ISLAND LIGHTLINE

Joy sees the lightline breaking ahead.

JOY
Ahhh! Go back! RUN! RUN! RUN!

They run back onto Goofball Island as the lightline crumbles.


EXT. GOOFBALL ISLAND

Joy and Sadness frantically outrun collapsing debris.


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY CLIFF EDGE

They leap across the buckling bridge, making it over to the
cliff just in time to see Goofball Island fall into the dump.
INSIDE OUT 55.

JOY
What-- ?

Joy watches it sink. FLASH CUTS of Young Riley:
* Riley twirling until she falls over.
* The family jumping on a trampoline.
* Riley riding on Dad’s shoulders, making silly faces with
ice cream all over her face.
Genres: ["Animation","Family","Adventure"]

Summary After a heated argument with her parents, Riley slams her bedroom door shut. Meanwhile, in the Mind World, Joy and Sadness are desperately trying to return to Headquarters, but the lightline they are walking on begins to crumble. They barely manage to escape the collapsing Goofball Island, witnessing its fall into the Memory Dump. This scene highlights the fragility of Riley's happy memories and the sense of loss she is experiencing.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Engaging concept
Weaknesses
  • Some pacing issues
  • Lack of external action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and internal conflict faced by the characters, setting up a compelling narrative for future developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the inner workings of a character's mind and emotions is engaging and well-executed, providing insight into the complexities of human psychology.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through the characters' internal struggles and the challenges they face, setting up potential conflicts and resolutions in the future.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique concept of the Mind World and uses it to explore complex emotions and challenges. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and showcase a range of emotions and personalities, adding depth and complexity to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant emotional growth and development, setting the stage for future transformations and arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain control and positivity in the face of uncertainty and fear. This reflects her deeper need for stability and happiness.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to save Riley's memories and emotions from falling into the Memory Dump. This reflects the immediate challenge of preserving Riley's identity and emotional well-being.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The internal conflicts faced by the characters create tension and drama, driving the narrative forward and engaging the audience.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing significant challenges and obstacles that test their resolve.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes of the characters' internal struggles and challenges add tension and urgency to the scene, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, challenges, and emotional developments that will shape the characters' journey.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected challenges and obstacles that keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between the necessity of taking risks to protect memories and the fear of losing them forever. This challenges Joy's belief in the power of positivity and resilience.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, drawing them into the characters' struggles and challenges.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations, driving the scene forward and providing insight into their internal struggles.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it builds tension, creates emotional stakes, and keeps the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct transitions between locations and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Riley slamming her bedroom door to Joy and Sadness in the Mind World, which may confuse the audience.
  • The dialogue between Joy and Sadness on the lightline feels a bit forced and lacks depth in terms of emotional impact.
  • The interaction between Dad and Riley in her room lacks subtlety and nuance, making it feel a bit cliched and predictable.
  • The visual representation of Goofball Island crumbling and breaking could be more impactful with better animation and attention to detail.
  • The transition from the Mind World back to Riley's room is a bit disjointed and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between Riley slamming her door and the Mind World scene to improve the coherence of the storytelling.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Joy and Sadness on the lightline to add more depth and emotional resonance to their conversation.
  • Add more subtlety and complexity to the interaction between Dad and Riley in her room to make it feel more authentic and engaging.
  • Work on the visual representation of Goofball Island crumbling to make it more visually striking and impactful for the audience.
  • Focus on creating a seamless transition back to Riley's room from the Mind World to maintain the flow and continuity of the scene.



Scene 18 -  Lost in Long-Term Memory
INT. RILEY’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

DAD
I get it, you need some alone time.
We’ll talk later.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

The Emotions stare out the back window in disbelief.

DISGUST
We have a major problem.

FEAR
Ohh, Joy where are you?


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY CLIFF EDGE

Joy and Sadness stare down into the abyss.

SADNESS
We lost Goofball Island. That means
she can lose Friendship, and
Hockey, and Honesty, and Family!
You can fix this, right Joy?

JOY
I... I don’t know.
(Sadness sighs in despair)
But we have to try. C’mon.

The sky darkens.

JOY (CONT’D)
Riley’s gone to sleep.
(more sighs from Sadness)
...which is a good thing, when you
think about it, because nothing else
bad can happen while she’s asleep!
We’ll be back to Headquarters before
she wakes up. We’ll just go across
Friendship Island.
INSIDE OUT 56.

Shelves jut out over the cliff edge, making Friendship Island
inaccessible.

SADNESS
We’ll never make it, hoh... nooo...

JOY
No, no, no, don’t obsess over the
weight of life’s problems, remember
the funny movie where the dog
dies?!

Sadness face plants.

JOY (CONT’D)
Uhhh, Sadness, we don’t have time
for this.

She looks to her side. Memory shelves wind into the distance.
Joy heads off into the maze.

JOY (CONT’D)
We’ll just have to go around! Take
the scenic route.

SADNESS
Wait! Joy, you could get lost in
there!

JOY
Think positive!

SADNESS
Okay. I’m positive you will get
lost in there. That’s Long-Term
Memory. An endless warren of
corridors and shelves. I read about
it in the manuals.

Joy stops. Sadness is right. But wait!

JOY
The manuals? The manuals! You read
the manuals!

SADNESS
Yeah...

JOY
So you know the way back to
headquarters!

SADNESS
I, guess...
INSIDE OUT 57.

JOY
You are my map! Let’s go! Lead on,
Mind Map! Show me where we’re
going!

SADNESS
Okay! Only, I’m too sad to walk.
Just give me a few... hours.

Joy grabs Sadness’ leg and DRAGS her into the shelves.

JOY
Which way? Left?

SADNESS
Right.
(Joy turns right)
No. I mean, go left. I said left
was right, like “correct.”

JOY
Okay.

SADNESS
This actually feels kind of nice.

Joy heads off into the COMPLICATED LABYRINTH ahead of them.

JOY
Okay! Here we go. We’ll be back to
Headquarters before morning. We can
do it. This’ll be easy. This is
working!

DISSOLVE TO:
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Comedy"]

Summary After Goofball Island sinks, Joy and Sadness are stranded on Long-Term Memory Cliff. Sadness is overwhelmed with grief and fear, worried about losing precious memories like Friendship, Hockey, Honesty, and Family. Joy, despite her own worry, tries to stay optimistic and lead the way back to Headquarters before Riley wakes up. They discover that Sadness, despite her anxieties, has read the manuals about Long-Term Memory and can act as their guide through the complex labyrinth. Joy pulls Sadness into the intricate shelves and corridors, ready to navigate their way back.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Innovative concept
  • Engaging conflict
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be repetitive or overly explanatory

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil within Riley's mind and sets up a high-stakes situation for the characters to navigate. The exploration of the Long-Term Memory adds depth to the story and keeps the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring Riley's mind and emotions through the characters of Joy and Sadness is innovative and engaging. The scene effectively introduces the idea of core memories and the impact they have on Riley's personality.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Joy and Sadness trying to find their way back to Headquarters to restore Riley's lost core memories. The conflict and tension are well-developed, driving the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique concept of exploring the inner workings of the mind through the Emotions, and presents a fresh approach to problem-solving and emotional growth.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters of Joy and Sadness are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their strengths and vulnerabilities. The dynamic between the two emotions adds depth to the story.

Character Changes: 7

Both Joy and Sadness undergo character development in this scene, as they learn to work together and overcome their differences to help Riley. Their growth adds depth to the story.

Internal Goal: 8

Joy's internal goal is to maintain Riley's happiness and prevent her from losing important aspects of her personality. This reflects Joy's deeper need to feel useful and in control of Riley's emotions.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate through Long-Term Memory and find their way back to Headquarters before Riley wakes up. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in trying to fix the problem of losing Goofball Island.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is driven by the characters' race against time to restore Riley's core memories before she wakes up. The tension and urgency keep the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong as the characters face challenges and obstacles that are difficult to overcome, adding suspense and tension to the narrative.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as the characters race against time to restore Riley's core memories and prevent further damage to her personality. The outcome will have a significant impact on Riley's emotional well-being.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and obstacles for the characters to overcome. It sets up the next stage of Riley's journey and keeps the audience engaged.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected challenges and obstacles for the characters to overcome, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Joy's optimism and Sadness' realism. Joy believes in staying positive and finding solutions, while Sadness is more cautious and aware of the challenges ahead. This challenges Joy's belief that everything can be fixed with a positive attitude.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, as it delves into Riley's inner struggles and the importance of her core memories. The audience is invested in the characters' journey to restore her personality.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. It also provides insight into the internal struggles within Riley's mind.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes situation, witty dialogue, and a sense of urgency as the characters navigate through the maze.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension with moments of humor, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre by establishing the setting, introducing the conflict, and setting up the resolution.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the gravity of the situation. The emotions are facing a major problem with the loss of Goofball Island, which could lead to the loss of other key aspects of Riley's personality, yet the tone of the scene feels relatively light and lacks the emotional weight needed for such a critical moment.
  • The dialogue between Joy and Sadness, while attempting to inject humor, falls short in conveying the seriousness of the situation. There is a disconnect between the stakes of losing core memories and the casual banter between the characters.
  • The visual representation of the shelves winding into the distance and the maze of Long-Term Memory could be more visually engaging and reflective of the complexity and vastness of Riley's memories. The scene could benefit from more visually striking elements to enhance the sense of being lost in a labyrinthine memory storage.
  • The transition from the crumbling Friendship Island to the maze of Long-Term Memory feels abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene. The shift in setting and tone could be better integrated to create a more seamless narrative.
  • The emotional journey of Joy and Sadness navigating Long-Term Memory could be more nuanced and impactful. There is an opportunity to delve deeper into the emotional growth and dynamics between the characters as they work together to find their way back to Headquarters.
Suggestions
  • Increase the sense of urgency and tension in the scene to match the gravity of the situation. Emphasize the importance of retrieving the core memories and the potential consequences of failing to do so.
  • Refine the dialogue to strike a balance between humor and emotional depth. Ensure that the characters' interactions reflect the weight of the situation they are facing.
  • Enhance the visual elements to create a more immersive and visually captivating representation of Long-Term Memory. Utilize creative visuals to convey the complexity and depth of Riley's memories.
  • Smooth out the transition between the crumbling Friendship Island and the maze of Long-Term Memory to maintain the narrative flow. Ensure that the shift in setting feels organic and seamless.
  • Explore the emotional journey of Joy and Sadness in more depth, focusing on their growth and relationship dynamics as they navigate Long-Term Memory. Use this opportunity to deepen the emotional impact of the scene.



Scene 19 -  The Memory Vacuum
EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY - LATER

Joy, exhausted, drags Sadness through the maze of shelves.

JOY
This is not working. Are we getting
close?

SADNESS
Yeah. Just another right. And a
left. Then another left, and a
right...

JOY
Are you sure you know where we’re
going? Because we seem to be
walking AWAY from Headquarters--
INSIDE OUT 58.

The SKY BRIGHTENS. Day. And they’re still lost.

JOY (CONT’D)
Riley’s awake.

Joy drops a core memory. Sadness reaches to grab it.

JOY (CONT’D)
Ah ah ah, don’t touch, remember? If
you touch them, they stay sad!

SADNESS
Oh. Sorry. I won’t...

Joy looks behind her. The bottom row of memories are BLUE.

SADNESS (CONT’D)
...starting now.

JOY
I can’t take much more of this.

MALE FORGETTER (O.S.)
Forget ‘em!

JOY
Mind Workers!

Joy runs off toward the voice.

SADNESS
But Joy we’re almost... ohhhh.


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY - LATER

Joy finds two workers vacuuming up memories from the shelves.

FEMALE FORGETTER
Phone numbers. We don’t need all of
these. They’re in her phone.

MALE FORGETTER
Just forget all of that. Please.
Forget it!

JOY
Excuse me. Hi. I need to find
Friendship Island...

FEMALE FORGETTER
(pointing to memories)
Look at this. Four years of piano
lessons.
INSIDE OUT 59.

MALE FORGETTER
Yeah, looks pretty faded.

FEMALE FORGETTER
You know what? Save "Chopsticks”
and “Heart and Soul,” get rid of
the rest.

Zoop! The memories get vacuumed up.

JOY
Are you--

FEMALE FORGETTER
U.S. Presidents. What do you think?

MALE FORGETTER
Eh, just keep Washington, Lincoln
and the fat one.

FEMALE FORGETTER
Forget ‘em!

JOY
Hey! You can’t throw those away!
Those are perfectly good memories.

MALE FORGETTER
The names of every “Cutie Pie
Princess” doll?

JOY
Yes! That is critical information!
Glitterstorm, Honeypants, Officer
Justice...

FEMALE FORGETTER
Forget ‘em!

He vacuums up the memories behind Joy.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Lost in Long-Term Memory, Joy and Sadness race against time to find Friendship Island. But their search is interrupted by Forgetters, robotic figures ruthlessly vacuuming up memories from the shelves. Joy desperately tries to convince them to stop, arguing for the value of historical figures, childhood names, and even piano lessons, but the Forgetters remain unmoved. As the Forgetters continue their task, Joy feels a growing sense of dread for the potential loss of Riley's identity.
Strengths
  • Creative concept
  • Emotionally impactful
  • Strong character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
  • Slight lack of clarity in certain moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, creative, and emotionally impactful, providing insight into the characters' struggles and the challenges they face in navigating Riley's mind.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of memories being forgotten and the characters navigating through Long-Term Memory is innovative and adds depth to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed, with the characters facing obstacles and working together to find their way back to Headquarters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on memory management and emotional processing, with authentic character interactions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and each plays a crucial role in the scene, showcasing their unique personalities and dynamics.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo development and growth as they navigate through challenges and work together to find a solution.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find Friendship Island, which reflects their desire for connection and emotional support.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to prevent the workers from discarding important memories, reflecting the immediate challenge they face in preserving their identity and experiences.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict as the characters face challenges and obstacles in Long-Term Memory.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the memory workers posing a significant challenge to the protagonist's goals.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high as the characters race against time to return to Headquarters and restore Riley's personality.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new obstacles and deepening the characters' journey.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions of the memory workers and the protagonist's escalating conflict.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the value of preserving memories and the necessity of discarding them for efficiency. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the importance of memories in shaping their identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from joy to sadness, making it emotionally resonant and impactful.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty and reflective of the characters' personalities, adding humor and depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes for the protagonist.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character actions and dialogue that advance the plot effectively.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the high stakes of Joy and Sadness being lost in Long-Term Memory and Riley being awake.
  • The dialogue between Joy and Sadness feels a bit repetitive and doesn't add much depth to their characters or the overall story.
  • The interaction with the Forgetters feels disconnected from the main plot and doesn't contribute much to the development of the scene or the characters.
  • The visual elements of the scene could be more engaging and dynamic to enhance the sense of being lost in a maze of memories.
  • The emotional impact of the scene could be heightened by focusing more on the internal struggles of Joy and Sadness as they try to find their way back to Headquarters.
Suggestions
  • Increase the sense of urgency and tension by adding more obstacles or challenges for Joy and Sadness to overcome in Long-Term Memory.
  • Revise the dialogue between Joy and Sadness to make it more meaningful and reflective of their emotional journey.
  • Consider integrating the interaction with the Forgetters into the main plot in a way that adds depth to the scene and advances the overall story.
  • Enhance the visual elements of the scene to create a more immersive and visually engaging experience for the audience.
  • Focus on the internal struggles and emotional growth of Joy and Sadness as they navigate through Long-Term Memory to make the scene more impactful and resonant.



Scene 20 -  The Memory Dump
EXT. CLIFFSIDE - CONTINUOUS
The memories shoot out a sewer pipe and fall into the
darkness of the Memory Dump.


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY - CONTINUOUS

JOY
Hey! Bring those back.
INSIDE OUT 60.

FEMALE FORGETTER
They’re in the dump. Nothing comes
back from the dump.

MALE FORGETTER
Yeah. Look lady, this is our job,
OK?

FEMALE FORGETTER
When Riley doesn’t care about a
memory, it fades.

JOY
Fades?

FEMALE FORGETTER
Happens to the best of ‘em.

MALE FORGETTER
(pulls memory from a cart)
Except for this bad boy! This one
will NEVER fade.

JOY
(recognizing it)
The song from the gum commercial?

MALE FORGETTER
(conspiratorial)
Sometimes we send that one up to
headquarters for no reason.

FEMALE FORGETTER
It just plays in Riley’s head over
and over again. Like a million
times! Ha! Let’s watch it again!

She rewinds it and plays it again. They sing along.

MALE FORGETTER
Tripledent gum will make you smile!
Tripledent gum! It lasts a while!
Tripledent gum will help you,
mister, to punch bad breath right
in the kisser.

JOY
We all know the song. Okay. Yup.
Real catchy.

MALE FORGETTER
(to Female Forgetter)
What do ya think? Should we do it?
INSIDE OUT 61.

FEMALE FORGETTER
Yeah! Ha ha!

MALE FORGETTER
OK, here we go! Ha ha ha!

He tips the gum memory into the inner workings of the shelf.
FWOOM! It shoots up towards Headquarters.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Joy watches as forgotten memories are sucked into a sewer pipe and fall into the Memory Dump. Two Forgetters, a man and a woman, explain that faded memories are sent here. The Forgetters are amused by a gum commercial memory they discover and, for no apparent reason, decide to send it to Headquarters. They sing along to the commercial with glee before sending it off through a tube in the shelf.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Introduction of new concept
  • Engaging world-building
Weaknesses
  • Minimal character development
  • Low emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, humorous, and introduces a new concept within the story. It adds depth to the world-building and provides insight into how memories are processed in Riley's mind.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The introduction of the Forgetters and the concept of memories fading when Riley no longer cares about them is innovative and adds complexity to the story.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses as Joy and Sadness try to navigate Long-Term Memory and encounter the Forgetters. The scene adds a new layer to the story and sets up potential conflicts and challenges for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on memory and how it is processed in the mind. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and original.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The Forgetters are introduced as unique characters with a specific role in Riley's mind. Joy and Sadness continue to show their dynamic and teamwork as they navigate the challenges in Long-Term Memory.

Character Changes: 5

There is minimal character change in this scene, as Joy and Sadness continue to work together to navigate Long-Term Memory.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist, Joy, internal goal in this scene is to understand how memories are discarded and to ensure that important memories are not forgotten.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to prevent the important memory from being discarded and to learn more about the memory discarding process.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

There is a mild conflict between Joy and the Forgetters as they try to retrieve memories from the Memory Dump. The scene sets up potential conflicts and challenges for the characters to overcome.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty about the outcome, adding to the conflict.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on introducing a new concept and setting up potential conflicts rather than high-stakes action.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the Forgetters and showcasing how memories are processed in Riley's mind. It sets up potential challenges for the characters to face in future scenes.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the memory discarding process and the characters' reactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the idea of importance and value placed on memories. It challenges Joy's belief in the significance of memories and how they shape a person's identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene has a moderate emotional impact as Sadness expresses distress over the loss of memories and Joy tries to stay positive in a challenging situation.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue between Joy and the Forgetters is witty and humorous, adding to the overall tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between characters and the humorous tone that keeps the audience entertained.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a steady rhythm and keeping the audience engaged in the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character interactions and progression of the plot.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or stakes, considering the importance of memories being discarded into the Memory Dump.
  • The dialogue between Joy and the Forgetters feels a bit repetitive and could be more dynamic to engage the audience.
  • The Forgetters' characterization could be further developed to make them more memorable and impactful as antagonists.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual cues or actions to enhance the storytelling and make it more visually engaging.
  • The concept of memories fading and being discarded is interesting, but it could be explored in a more emotionally resonant way to connect with the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a sense of urgency or a ticking clock element to raise the stakes in the scene.
  • Explore different ways to make the interaction between Joy and the Forgetters more engaging, perhaps by introducing a twist or a challenge for Joy to overcome.
  • Develop the Forgetters' characters further to make them more memorable and add depth to their interactions with Joy.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by incorporating more dynamic visuals or actions to convey the concept of memories fading and being discarded.
  • Look for opportunities to infuse more emotion and resonance into the scene to create a stronger connection with the audience.



Scene 21 -  Memory Mayhem
INT. HEADQUARTERS - CONTINUOUS

Fear, Anger and Disgust are having a peaceful morning. The
memory drops into Headquarters, playing at full volume.

GUM MEMORY
Tripledent gum will make you smile!
Tripledent gum! It lasts a while--

ANGER
Wha-- this again!?!


INT. LONG-TERM MEMORY

The Forgetters walk away, laughing and singing.

JOY
(following them)
Wait! Do you know how to get to
Friendship Island?!


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - DAY

Riley, laptop on her stomach, hums the Tripledent gum song.

MEG (O.S.)
(on the computer)
Do you like it there? Did you feel
any earthquakes? Is the bridge
cool?

RILEY
Yeah, it’s good. What happened with
the playoffs?

MEG
We won the first game. Coach says
we might actually go to the finals
this year. Oh, and we’ve got this
new girl on the team. She’s so
cool.
INSIDE OUT 62.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

DISGUST
Oh, she did NOT just say that.

FEAR
A NEW GIRL? Meg has a new friend
already?!

Anger GROWLS.

DISGUST
Hey hey, stay happy! We do NOT want
to lose any more islands here guys!


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

MEG
We can pass the puck to each other
without even looking. It’s like
mind reading!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
You like to read minds, Meg? I got
something for you to read right here!
(grabbing the controls)

DISGUST
No no no, what are you doing?!

FEAR
Wait, wait-- let’s just be calm for
one second--

Anger snaps Fear’s nose like a rubber band. Anger slams the
controls forward like a lunatic.

ANGER
GAAAAAA!!!!


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

MEG (O.S.)
I heard they have parrots living in-

RILEY
I gotta go.
INSIDE OUT 63.

MEG
What?

RILEY
I GOTTA GO.

Riley slams down the computer and SCOWLS.


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY

Joy follows the Forgetters, trying to get directions. They
ignore her, singing the gum-commercial jingle.

A horrible mechanical GROANING sound. Joy reacts.

JOY
What...?


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY

Joy rounds a corner and sees Friendship Island crumbling.

JOY
Friendship Island?

The FRIENDSHIP CORE MEMORY Joy holds fades. She runs forward.

JOY (CONT’D)
Wh-- ?

She looks on in horror as Friendship Island falls.

JOY (CONT’D)
Ohh, not Friendship.

Joy hugs the core memories. One of them is memory of young
Riley and Meg walking together.

SADNESS
Oh, Riley loved that one. And now
it's GONE. Goodbye friendship,
hello loneliness.

Joy sees Hockey Island in the distance.

JOY
(trying to stay positive)
We’ll just have to go the long way.

They turn to look back into the deep memory shelves.
INSIDE OUT 64.

SADNESS
Yeah. The long, long, looong way.
I’m ready.

Sadness lies down on the ground, offering her leg. Joy sighs.
She doesn’t want to do this again.

JOY
Ah, yes.
(pulling Sadness)
There’s gotta be a better way.

BING BONG (O.S.)
(talking to the memories)
Ohhh, look at you, you’re a KEEPER!

JOY
Huh?

Joy sees a strange figure up ahead, gathering memories.

BING BONG
I will take you, but not you.
(beat)
Oh who am I kidding, I can’t leave
you!

JOY
Hello!

The figure sees Joy -- and bolts.

JOY (CONT’D)
Wait! Hey, wait! Stop!

Joy chases after him.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Riley is at home, talking to her friend Meg about a new teammate. Anger, upset by Riley's newfound friendship, alters Riley's memory to make her feel angry. Meanwhile, in Long-Term Memory, Joy desperately tries to save the Friendship Island memory from being forgotten, but it crumbles before her eyes. Sadness recognizes the loss of this memory will make Riley feel lonely. As Joy and Sadness journey to Hockey Island, they encounter a mysterious figure gathering memories and are forced to flee. Joy, determined to stop him, chases after him.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Engaging concept
  • Dynamic dialogue
  • Compelling conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some characters overshadowed by others in dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor, emotion, and tension to create a compelling narrative within Riley's mind. The introduction of Friendship Island's collapse adds depth to the story, while the Forgetters bring a sense of urgency and danger to Joy and Sadness' mission.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring different islands representing aspects of Riley's personality and the introduction of the Forgetters as memory discarding entities are innovative and engaging. The crumbling Friendship Island adds a layer of emotional depth to the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Joy and Sadness navigate through Long-Term Memory, facing obstacles and challenges along the way. The crumbling of Friendship Island adds a sense of urgency and raises the stakes for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original concept of personifying emotions and exploring the internal world of a young girl. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and relatability to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters, including Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, and Fear, each play a crucial role in the scene. Their interactions and reactions drive the narrative forward and provide insight into Riley's emotional state.

Character Changes: 7

The characters, particularly Joy and Sadness, undergo emotional changes as they face the challenges in Long-Term Memory. Joy learns to rely on Sadness, and Sadness finds strength in guiding the way back to Headquarters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain control over her emotions and navigate the challenges of growing up and facing new experiences.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to deal with the changes happening in her life, such as new friendships and challenges in sports.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene arises from the crumbling Friendship Island, the threat of losing memories, and the race against time to return to Headquarters. This conflict adds tension and urgency to the narrative.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong, with internal conflicts among the characters and external challenges that test their abilities and beliefs.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes in the scene come from the potential loss of core memories, the crumbling of Friendship Island, and the race against time to return to Headquarters. These stakes raise the tension and urgency of the characters' mission.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new obstacles, deepening the emotional stakes, and setting up the next phase of Joy and Sadness' journey back to Headquarters. It advances the overall narrative of Riley's internal struggles.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected challenges and twists that keep the audience guessing about the outcome and the characters' reactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between maintaining positivity and facing the reality of loss and change. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about how to handle difficult situations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to sadness to tension. The loss of Friendship Island and the emotional reactions of the characters create a poignant and impactful moment within Riley's mind.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. It blends humor, tension, and emotion to create a dynamic and engaging conversation between the emotions and the Forgetters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines humor, emotion, and suspense to keep the audience invested in the characters' journey and the unfolding events.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and humor, maintaining a steady rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions that enhance readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively transitioning between different locations and character interactions to advance the plot and develop the characters.


Critique
  • The scene transitions between Riley's room, Headquarters, and Long-Term Memory are a bit abrupt and could be smoother to enhance the flow of the story.
  • The conflict between the emotions in Headquarters and the Forgetters in Long-Term Memory could be more clearly defined and intensified to create a more engaging and suspenseful scene.
  • The emotional reactions of the characters, especially Joy and Sadness, could be more nuanced and layered to add depth to their interactions and make the audience more emotionally invested.
  • The dialogue between the emotions and the Forgetters could be more dynamic and impactful, showcasing the stakes of losing important memories and the urgency of the situation.
  • The visual representation of Friendship Island crumbling and the core memories fading could be visually stunning and emotionally resonant to emphasize the significance of these events.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transitions between different locations to create a more seamless and coherent narrative flow.
  • Intensify the conflict between the emotions and the Forgetters to heighten the tension and suspense of the scene.
  • Develop the emotional dynamics between Joy and Sadness to showcase their evolving relationship and the impact of losing core memories.
  • Enhance the dialogue to convey the urgency and emotional depth of the situation, highlighting the importance of preserving memories.
  • Focus on creating visually impactful moments, such as the crumbling of Friendship Island, to evoke strong emotions and emphasize the gravity of the events unfolding.



Scene 22 -  Bing Bong's Memories and the Abstract Thought Shortcut
EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY DEAD END

Joy rounds a corner to find the figure crouched on the
ground, hiding his face in his hands like a three year old.

JOY
Excuse me...?

BING BONG
(jumping up; cornered)
Ahhhh! Uh, I was looking for, uh--
(grabs a memory)
--DIVERSION!

He THROWS IT and makes a run for it.
INSIDE OUT 65.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Ha ha! So long, sucker!

He immediately crashes into a cart of memories.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Ow! Oww, I hurt all over.

JOY
Wait. I know you.

BING BONG
No you don’t. I get that a lot, I
look like a lot of people.

JOY
No, I do! Bing Bong! Riley’s
Imaginary Friend!

BING BONG
You really DO know me!

JOY
Well of course! Riley loved playing
with you, you two were best
friends! Oh! You would know. We’re
trying to get back to
Headquarters...

BING BONG
Headquarters? You guys are from
Headquarters?

JOY
(mock modesty)
Well, yeah. I’m Joy. This is
Sadness.

BING BONG
You’re Joy? THE Joy?

JOY
Mm-hmm.

BING BONG
Well what the heck are you doing
out here?

JOY
That's a good question! You want to
answer that, Sadness?
INSIDE OUT 66.

BING BONG
Without you, Riley won’t ever be
happy. We can't have that, we gotta
get you back! I’ll tell you what,
follow me.

JOY
Oh, thank you!


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY

Bing Bong leads them on through the memory shelves.

JOY
It is so great to see you again. I
gotta tell you, I am such a huge
fan of your work. Do you remember
when you and Riley were in a band?

FLASH CUTS of their adventures:

*Riley bangs on pots and pans, Bing Bong plays his trunk.

JOY (V.O.)
I went to all of your concerts.

BING BONG (V.O.)
Yeah, I blow a mean nose.

*Bing Bong runs on ceiling, Riley chases after him.

JOY (V.O.)
Watching you play tag was such a
treat.

BING BONG (V.O.)
Two-time world champ.

*Riley and Bing Bong sit in her wagon (”rocket”).

JOY (V.O.)
Oh, and remember your rocket?!

BING BONG (V.O.)
Of course! It runs on song power.

JOY
That’s right, your theme song!
(singing)
Who's your friend who likes to
play?
INSIDE OUT 67.

BING BONG
(sings)
BING BONG BING BONG!

JOY
His rocket makes you yell “Hooray!”

BING BONG/JOY
BING BONG BING BONG!

Sadness eyes Bing Bong, who is a pink elephant made with a
cat tail.

SADNESS
What exactly are you supposed to
be?

BING BONG
You know, it’s unclear. I’m mostly
cotton candy, but shape-wise, I’m
part cat, part elephant, part
dolphin.

JOY
Dolphin?

Bing Bong does a spot-on dolphin impression.

BING BONG
You gotta remember, when Riley was
three, animals were all the rage.
The cow goes moo. The horse goes
neigh. That’s all people talked
about back then.

JOY
Yeah, I guess that’s true. What are
you doing out here?

BING BONG
Well, there’s not much call for
imaginary friends lately, so, uh,
you know, I’m...

JOY
Hey, hey, don’t be sad. Tell you
what, when I get back up to
Headquarters, I’ll make sure Riley
remembers you.

BING BONG
You will?!
INSIDE OUT 68.

JOY
Of course, she’d love that!

BING BONG
Ha ha! This is the greatest day of
my life!

He launches into a jig, but hurts himself and bursts into
tears. Candy pours out of his tear ducts.

JOY
Are you okay?

SADNESS
What’s going on?

BING BONG
I cry candy. Try the caramel, it’s
delicious.

JOY
Ooo.
(fumbles memories)
Woah!

BING BONG
Oh-- here-- use this.
(offers his satchel)

JOY
Thanks!

BING BONG
Oh, hold on. Wait a second.

He empties out an impossible amount of stuff: tons of
memories, a boot, an anchor, a cat... Joy and Sadness stare
in amazement.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
What? It’s imaginary.

Joy accepts the satchel and puts in the core memories.

JOY
Thanks! This’ll make it a lot
easier to walk back to
Headquarters.

BING BONG
Walk? We’re not walkin’! We’re
taking the Train of Thought!

He points to the train speeding towards Headquarters.
INSIDE OUT 69.

JOY
The train, of course! That is so
much faster! But how do we catch
it?

BING BONG
Well, it kind of goes all over the
place, but there is a station in
Imaginationland. I know a short
cut. Come on, this way!

JOY
I’m so glad we ran into you!

A giant BUILDING blocks their progress. Bing Bong opens a
door. It’s dark inside.

BING BONG
The station is right through here.

The train station is visible through a door on the other side.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
After you.

SADNESS
Joy...

JOY
What?

SADNESS
I read about this place in the
manual. We shouldn’t go in there.

JOY
Bing Bong says it’s the quickest
way to Headquarters.

SADNESS
No, but Joy, this is Abstract
Thought.

BING BONG
What’re you talking about? I go in
here all the time. It’s a shortcut,
see?

He points to a “Danger” sign above the door.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
D-A-N-G-E-R: shortcut. I’ll prove
it to you.
(he climbs in)
(MORE)
INSIDE OUT 70.
BING BONG (CONT’D)
Look at me! I’m closer to the
station ‘cause I’m taking the
shortcut!

SADNESS
Let’s go around. This way.

She points: the building is huge -- it’s a long way around.

BING BONG
Almost there...!

Joy looks back at Bing Bong. The station is right there.

JOY
(to Sadness)
If you want to walk the long way,
go for it. But Riley needs to be
happy. I‘m not missing that train.
(walks in)
Bing Bong knows what he’s doing.
He's part dolphin. They're very
smart.

SADNESS
Well, I guess...

She climbs in.
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Comedy"]

Summary Lost in Long-Term Memory, Joy and Sadness encounter Riley's former imaginary friend, Bing Bong. Bing Bong, eager to help, guides them through a nostalgic journey of his memories, offering his satchel to carry core memories. Despite Sadness's warnings, Joy, excited by Bing Bong's enthusiasm, agrees to take a shortcut through the perilous Abstract Thought to reach the Train of Thought and get back to Headquarters.
Strengths
  • Introduction of Bing Bong as a memorable character
  • Exploration of Abstract Thought and the importance of memories
  • Engaging and heartfelt dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too whimsical for some viewers
  • Lack of intense conflict or high stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, emotional, and introduces new elements that add depth to the story. The dialogue is well-written, and the introduction of Bing Bong adds a unique and memorable aspect to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Abstract Thought and the importance of memories in shaping one's identity are central to the scene. The introduction of Bing Bong as an Imaginary Friend adds a whimsical and nostalgic element to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Joy and Sadness encounter Bing Bong and embark on a journey to find the Train of Thought. The scene introduces new challenges and obstacles for the characters to overcome.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces the character of Bing Bong, an imaginary friend with a unique appearance and personality. The interactions between the characters and the concept of Abstract Thought add originality to the familiar theme of emotions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bing Bong, are well-developed and add depth to the story. Bing Bong's unique personality and role as Riley's Imaginary Friend make him a memorable and endearing character.

Character Changes: 7

The introduction of Bing Bong and the challenges faced by Joy and Sadness lead to some character development, especially in their understanding of the importance of memories and friendship.

Internal Goal: 9

Joy's internal goal is to reconnect with Bing Bong and find a way back to Headquarters to ensure Riley's happiness. This reflects her deeper desire to fulfill her role as the emotion of Joy and maintain Riley's positive emotions.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to find a way back to Headquarters using the Train of Thought. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating through the abstract concept of Abstract Thought to reach the train station.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is some conflict in the scene, such as the decision to enter Abstract Thought and the challenges faced by Joy and Sadness, the overall tone is more whimsical and lighthearted.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints between Joy and Sadness regarding the decision to enter Abstract Thought. This creates tension and uncertainty for the characters' next steps.

High Stakes: 6

While there are stakes involved in finding the Train of Thought and returning to Headquarters, the overall tone of the scene is more lighthearted and whimsical.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new elements, such as Abstract Thought and the Train of Thought, and setting up new challenges for the characters to overcome.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and decisions. The introduction of Abstract Thought adds a new element of danger and uncertainty to the story.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between Joy's optimism and willingness to take risks, and Sadness's caution and adherence to rules. This challenges Joy's belief in following her instincts and trusting others.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from nostalgia to hopefulness, and effectively conveys the importance of memories and friendship in shaping one's identity.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging, playful, and heartfelt. It effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters, especially during interactions with Bing Bong.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of humor, emotion, and suspense as the characters navigate through a challenging situation. The interactions between Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong keep the audience invested in their journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, with a mix of dialogue, action, and reflection. It maintains a steady rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene is well-formatted with clear action lines, dialogue, and scene descriptions. It follows the expected format for its genre of animated screenplay.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure with a setup, conflict, and resolution, leading to a new direction for the characters. It maintains the expected format for its genre of animated family film.


Critique
  • The scene introduces Bing Bong, Riley's imaginary friend, in a chaotic and rushed manner. The interaction between Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong feels disjointed and lacks a clear purpose.
  • The dialogue between the characters, especially Bing Bong, feels forced and lacks depth. The humor in the scene comes across as contrived and doesn't add much to the overall narrative.
  • The visual elements in the scene, such as Bing Bong's appearance and actions, are confusing and don't contribute to the emotional depth of the story.
  • The pacing of the scene is inconsistent, with abrupt shifts in tone and direction. There is a lack of emotional resonance in the interactions between the characters.
  • The scene fails to effectively convey the urgency of Joy and Sadness needing to return to Headquarters before Riley wakes up. The focus on Bing Bong detracts from the main conflict and resolution.
Suggestions
  • Develop Bing Bong's character more effectively by giving him a clear role in helping Joy and Sadness return to Headquarters. Focus on his connection to Riley and the emotional impact of his presence.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it more natural and meaningful. Ensure that each character's voice is distinct and contributes to the overall narrative.
  • Enhance the visual elements to better reflect the emotional depth of the scene. Use imagery and symbolism to convey the characters' internal struggles and motivations.
  • Improve the pacing of the scene by building tension and suspense as Joy and Sadness navigate Long-Term Memory with Bing Bong. Create a sense of urgency and importance in their mission.
  • Streamline the interactions between the characters to maintain focus on the main conflict and resolution. Ensure that each scene contributes to the overall arc of the story and character development.



Scene 23 -  Escape from Abstraction
EXT. SCHOOL LUNCH YARD - LUNCHTIME

Riley carries her lunch tray outside. The yard is full of
chatty, happy kids, but Riley finds an empty bench and eats
by herself.


EXT. ABSTRACT THOUGHT BUILDING - HATCH DOOR - MOMENTS LATER

Two Mind Workers approach the same door our trio entered.

ABSTRACT WORKER #1
Okay, what abstract concept are we
trying to comprehend today?

ABSTRACT WORKER #2
(checking a clipboard)
Um... loneliness.

ABSTRACT WORKER #1
Hm. Looks like there’s something in
there. I’m going to turn it on for
a minute and burn out the gunk.
INSIDE OUT 71.

She closes the door.


INT. ABSTRACT THOUGHT BUILDING

BING BONG
What’d I tell ya? You’ll be at
Headquarters in no time.

BAM! The door closes behind them. The LIGHTS GO ON.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Say, would you look at that!

Around them, strange SHAPES float into space.

JOY
Whoa! What's happening?!

SADNESS
Oh no. They turned it on.

BING BONG
Huh! I’ve never seen this before.

Bing Bong’s head turns into a Picasso-like form. Joy and
Sadness scream as they become Cubist versions of themselves.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
My face! My beautiful face!

JOY
What is going on?

SADNESS
We’re abstracting! There are four
stages. This is the first: non-
objective fragmentation!

BING BONG
Alright, do not panic! What is
important is that we all STAY
TOGETHER.

His arm falls off.

JOY
Ah!

Joy’s head falls off. Sadness’ leg goes. She topples.

SADNESS
We’re in the second stage: we’re
deconstructing!
INSIDE OUT 72.

BING BONG
Run!

Bing Bing falls into pieces.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Aaah! I can’t feel my legs!
(his disassembled arm finds
them)
Oh, there they are.

JOY
Come here, me!

They gather their pieces as they rush to the exit.

SADNESS
We’ve gotta get out of here before
we’re nothing but shape and color!
We’ll get stuck here forever!

JOY
“Stuck?!” Why did we come in here?!

BING BONG
I told you, it’s a shortcut!

Though the window, the TRAIN OF THOUGHT pulls in.

JOY
The train!

POP! They change into FLAT COLOR VERSIONS of themselves.

SADNESS
Oh no... We’re two-dimensional!
That’s stage three!

JOY
We’re getting nowhere!

BING BONG
Depth! I’m lacking depth!

It’s hard to move. They struggle towards the window.

JOY
Come on!

Sadness and Bing Bong follow and try to squeeze through. But
because of the broken perspective, they are now all HUGE
compared to the door.
INSIDE OUT 73.

JOY (CONT’D)
AUGH! We can’t fit!

POP! They abstract into ABSTRACT COLORED BLOBS.

SADNESS
Oh no, we’re nonfigurative. This is
the last stage!

BING BONG
We’re not going to make it!

Sadness slumps to the ground... and becomes a line!

SADNESS
Wait! We’re two dimensional. Fall
on your face!
(crawls like an inchworm)

JOY
Oh!

They follow Sadness and inch safely out the window.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong are trapped in the Abstract Thought Building, undergoing a process that distorts their forms. As they become fragmented, flat, and eventually blobs, fear and panic rise. Sadness, however, notices that their two-dimensional state allows them to squeeze out the window like an inchworm. Pulling Joy and Bing Bong along, they escape the building, leaving their abstract forms behind.
Strengths
  • Visually stunning setting
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
  • Slightly predictable character reactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is highly engaging and visually captivating, with a perfect blend of humor, chaos, and emotional depth.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Abstract Thought as a setting is innovative and adds a unique twist to the story. The abstract transformations of the characters create a visually striking and memorable scene.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses as Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong navigate through Abstract Thought in their quest to return to Headquarters. The scene adds depth to the story and showcases the characters' resilience in the face of challenges.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original concept of abstract thought and transformation, with authentic character reactions and dialogue that enhance the authenticity of the situation.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and interactions in the face of abstract transformations add depth to their personalities. Joy's optimism, Sadness' pragmatism, and Bing Bong's whimsical nature shine through in this scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo significant changes in this scene as they adapt to the challenges of Abstract Thought. Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong demonstrate growth, resilience, and teamwork in the face of adversity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to stay together and find a way out of the abstract thought building. This reflects their deeper need for unity and survival in the face of challenges.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to escape the abstract thought building before they become completely abstract themselves. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene arises from the characters' struggle to navigate through Abstract Thought and return to Headquarters. The abstract transformations and challenges they face create tension and drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing difficult obstacles and escalating challenges that create uncertainty and suspense for the audience.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderately high in this scene as the characters face the risk of being trapped in Abstract Thought forever. The potential loneliness Riley may feel adds emotional weight to the situation.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the characters' journey through Abstract Thought and their determination to return to Headquarters. It adds depth to the narrative and sets up future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected transformations and obstacles that keep the audience on edge, unsure of how the characters will navigate the abstract world.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle between maintaining identity and succumbing to the abstract transformation. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about self-preservation and the importance of individuality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The emotional impact of the scene is significant, especially as Sadness grapples with the loss of Friendship Island and the potential loneliness Riley may feel. The characters' vulnerability and resilience evoke empathy from the audience.

Dialogue: 6

The dialogue is humorous and reflects the characters' personalities well. It adds to the overall tone of the scene but is not the primary focus.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a unique and visually captivating concept, with characters facing escalating challenges that keep the audience invested in their journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense as the characters progress through different stages of abstraction, maintaining a sense of urgency and momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene transitions and descriptive elements that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively building tension and escalating the stakes as the characters progress through different stages of abstraction.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clarity in terms of the purpose and impact of Abstract Thought on the characters. The transition between stages of abstraction is abrupt and may be confusing for the audience.
  • The dialogue feels rushed and lacks depth in exploring the emotional reactions of the characters to their abstract transformation. There is a missed opportunity to delve into the characters' fears and vulnerabilities in this unique setting.
  • The visual representation of the abstract stages could be more visually engaging and impactful to convey the disorientation and chaos experienced by the characters.
  • The scene could benefit from more character development and interaction to deepen the emotional impact of the abstract transformation. Each character's unique response to the situation could be further explored to add depth to the scene.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, with the characters quickly moving through the stages of abstraction without allowing for moments of reflection or emotional resonance.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the dialogue to add more emotional depth and clarity to the characters' reactions to the abstract transformation.
  • Enhance the visual representation of the abstract stages to create a more visually engaging and impactful sequence.
  • Slow down the pacing of the scene to allow for moments of reflection and emotional resonance for the characters.
  • Explore the characters' fears and vulnerabilities in the face of abstraction to add depth and complexity to the scene.
  • Consider adding more character interaction and development to deepen the emotional impact of the abstract transformation.



Scene 24 -  A Journey Through Imaginationland
EXT. ABSTRACT THOUGHT BUILDING

The three lines land outside just as the train pulls out.
They get up to go, but as lines they can barely move.

JOY
Wait! Stop! Stop! STOP!

POP! Joy goes from non-representational to two-dimensional.
She falls down flat as the train speeds off.

POP! The three transform back to normal.

JOY (CONT’D)
(to Bing Bong)
I thought you said that was a
shortcut.

BING BONG
I did, but wow, we should NOT have
gone in there. That was dangerous!
They really should put up a sign.

JOY
How long till the next train?

BING BONG
Who knows? But don’t worry. There’s
another station. That way!
(MORE)
INSIDE OUT 74.
BING BONG (CONT'D)
(points O.S.)
The train always stops there right
before it goes to Headquarters. If
we hurry, we can catch it!

JOY
This isn’t another one of your
short cuts, is it?

BING BONG
(laughing exuberantly)
Yeah!

Joy skeptically watches him head off.

JOY
(to Sadness)
Is there really another station?

SADNESS
Uh-huh. Through there.

Bing Bong leads them towards the impressive gates of...

BING BONG
Welcome to Imaginationland!


INT. IMAGINATIONLAND - CONTINUOUS

JOY
Imaginationland?

BING BONG
Sure! I come here all the time. I’m
practically the mayor. Hey, you
guys hungry? There’s French Fry
Forest!
(starts eating)
Nom nom nom, delicious!

Joy is loving this.

JOY
No way!

BING BONG
Check it out! Trophy Town! Medals!
Ribbons! Everyone’s a winner!

Bing Bong kicks a soccer ball into a giant goal and workers
appear out of nowhere to shower him with awards.
INSIDE OUT 75.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
I won first place!

Workers give Joy a medal and Sadness a ribbon.

JOY
Me too!

SADNESS
Hohh... Participation award...

JOY
Wait, is that-- Sadness, look, it’s
Cloud Town! That is my favorite!

Joy rips off a chunk of cloud and floats up into the air.

JOY (CONT’D)
It's so soft!

Joy jumps down and runs off.

BING BONG
Woah! Let me try!

Bing Bong rips off some cloud. A CLOUD MAN emerges from the
house, angry.

CLOUD MAN
Hey! What’s the big idea? You’d
better fix that wall, or else
you’re in big troub--

POOF! Bing Bong blows the Cloud Man away and walks off
nervously.


EXT. IMAGINATIONLAND, LAVA DAYDREAM

Joy and Bing Bong gleefully jump between couch cushions.

JOY BING BONG
Oh no, lava! Whooo! Whawhoooo! Imaginationland is *
the best!

Sadness tries to jump to a rock, barely makes it.

SADNESS
Is it all going to be so
interactive?
INSIDE OUT 76.

EXT. IMAGINATIONLAND, HOUSE OF CARDS

BING BONG
Hey, look! The House of Cards!!
Ooh, wait, hang on just a minute...

From a nearby garage made of cards, Bing Bong pulls a wagon.

JOY
Your rocket!

BING BONG
Yeah! I stashed it in there for
safekeeping. Now I’m all set to
take Riley to the MOON!

He gestures proudly -- accidentally knocking over the house.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Oh, I’m sorry.

HOUSE OF CARDS WORKER
Great.


EXT. IMAGINATIONLAND

JOY
I love Imaginationland!

BING BONG
Isn’t it great? And there’s always
something new, like...

A giant machine. A conveyer belt reveals a handsome teenager.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Who the heck is that?

BOYFRIEND GENERATOR WORKER
Imaginary Boyfriend.

IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND
I would die for Riley.

Joy grimaces.

BING BONG
I’ve never seen him before.

IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND
I live in Canada.
INSIDE OUT 77.

BING BONG
Anyway. This way, through Preschool
World! We’re nearly to the train!

JOY
Riley, here we come!


EXT. HOCKEY RINK - FOOT OF GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE -- SUNSET


INT. HOCKEY RINK - BLEACHERS - CONTINUOUS

Mom and Riley sit on the bleachers.

MOM
This should be fun. New team, new
friends! These kids look pretty
good -- considering they're from
San Francisco. Heh heh!

HOCKEY COACH (O.S.)
Okay Andersen, you're up!

RILEY
I gotta go.

Riley heads onto the ice.

MOM
Okay. Good luck, sweetie!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

DISGUST
Luck isn’t gonna help us now. If
she tries to use Hockey Island,
it’s going down.

FEAR
Which is why I’ve recalled every
hockey memory I can think of.

The Emotions are standing ankle deep in memories.

FEAR (CONT’D)
One of these has got to work in
place of the core memory.

O.S. Hockey whistle.

ANGER/DISGUST
She’s about to play!/Hurry!
INSIDE OUT 78.

Fear loads a memory into the core holder.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong escape the train station as lines and find themselves in Imaginationland. Bing Bong, a gleeful guide, leads them through the fantastical world, where clouds are interactive and imaginary boyfriends are created by machines. Bing Bong's enthusiasm leads to a mishap when he accidentally knocks over the House of Cards, causing a minor conflict that is quickly brushed aside. They continue their journey through Imaginationland, eventually heading toward the train station to return to Headquarters.
Strengths
  • Creative world-building in Imaginationland
  • Emotionally resonant moments
  • Humorous dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too whimsical for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, imaginative, and emotionally resonant, with a good balance of humor and heartfelt moments.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring different aspects of Imaginationland and the characters' journey through abstract thought is innovative and well-executed.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as the characters navigate through Imaginationland and face challenges, adding depth to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique and imaginative elements like French Fry Forest, Trophy Town, and Cloud Town, offering fresh and creative approaches to familiar settings. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities shine through in their interactions and reactions, adding depth and humor to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters experience growth and development as they navigate through Imaginationland, learning valuable lessons along the way.

Internal Goal: 8

Joy's internal goal is to navigate through Imaginationland and find a way to get back on track to Headquarters. This reflects her desire to maintain positivity and optimism in the face of challenges.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to catch the train that will take them to Headquarters. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of finding a way back to the main mission.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

There is a moderate level of conflict as the characters face challenges in Imaginationland, but it is mostly lighthearted and resolved quickly.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene, such as the challenges faced in Imaginationland and the characters' conflicting attitudes, adds tension and uncertainty to the narrative. The audience is left wondering how the characters will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 5

While the stakes are not extremely high, the characters' emotional well-being and growth are at stake, adding depth to the scene.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and showcasing the characters' journey through Imaginationland.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' interactions and the imaginative elements introduced in Imaginationland. The audience is kept on their toes as they explore this fantastical world.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between Joy's optimism and Bing Bong's carefree attitude towards danger. This challenges Joy's beliefs about taking risks and the importance of safety.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from joy and excitement to nostalgia and empathy, making it emotionally impactful.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty, playful, and reflective of the characters' personalities, enhancing the scene's charm.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its imaginative world-building, playful interactions between characters, and the sense of adventure and discovery. The audience is drawn into the fantastical setting and the characters' journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and description that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is well-formatted and contributes to the overall flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a progression of events leading towards the protagonist's goals. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the Abstract Thought Building to Imaginationland without a clear connection or explanation, which can be confusing for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Joy, Bing Bong, and Sadness feels rushed and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to explore the emotional dynamics between the characters.
  • The visual descriptions of Imaginationland are vivid, but the scene lacks a cohesive narrative thread or purpose, making it feel disjointed.
  • The introduction of the Imaginary Boyfriend character feels out of place and doesn't contribute to the overall story or character development.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven, with moments of excitement followed by lulls in action, making it feel inconsistent.
Suggestions
  • Provide a smoother transition between the Abstract Thought Building and Imaginationland to maintain continuity and clarity for the audience.
  • Develop the dialogue between Joy, Bing Bong, and Sadness to deepen their relationships and add emotional depth to the scene.
  • Focus on a central theme or objective in Imaginationland to give the scene a clear purpose and direction.
  • Consider removing the Imaginary Boyfriend character or integrating them more effectively into the story to ensure relevance and coherence.
  • Adjust the pacing of the scene to create a more consistent flow of action and engagement for the audience.



Scene 25 -  Hockey Chaos
INT. HOCKEY RINK

Riley skates onto the ice.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Out the window, Hockey Island lights up feebly.

FEAR
Ha ha! We did it gang! It’s working--

BOOM! The Core Memory Holder ejects a memory, slamming Anger
in the face. Hockey Island shakes. Fear SHRIEKS.


INT. HOCKEY RINK

Riley struggles to dribble the puck.

HOCKEY COACH
Line change! Line change! Change it
up! Change it up!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Fear frantically loads memories into the Holder, which spits
them out like dodge balls. Disgust and Anger run for cover.

The Holder spins furiously, flinging Fear against the window.
Memories pelt him.

DISGUST
(hiding behind a sofa)
It’s like we don't learn anything.


INT. HOCKEY RINK

HOCKEY COACH
Let’s pick it up out there!

Riley attempts to slap the puck, misses, and TRIPS.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
That’s it!
INSIDE OUT 79.

FEAR
No, no, no, breathe! Find your
happy place--

Anger grabs Fear by the neck and ricochets him off the
console, then furiously takes the controls.


INT. HOCKEY RINK

Riley angrily throws her stick to the ice and skates off.
The other players stop and watch.


INT. HOCKEY RINK - BLEACHERS - CONTINUOUS

Mom stands up, concerned.

Riley heads to the stands and removes her skates.

MOM
Riley, what’s wrong?

RILEY
Let’s go.

MOM
You’re not going to finish tryouts?

RILEY
What’s the point?

MOM
Hey, it’ll be alright. Let’s just--

RILEY
Stop saying everything will be
alright!

Riley stomps towards the exit. She looks back at the rink.
All the players cheer and high five.

Riley turns away from the rink and walks out.
Genres: ["Drama","Family","Sports"]

Summary Riley's hockey tryout is interrupted by the turmoil within her head. As she struggles on the ice, her emotions fight for control. Fear tries to calm her down by loading memories, but the Core Memory Holder malfunctions, throwing the headquarters into chaos. Anger takes over, leading to a heated clash with Fear and ultimately causing Riley to leave the rink in frustration.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension building
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly forced or melodramatic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the internal and external conflicts faced by the characters, leading to a powerful and emotional moment that drives the story forward.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring Riley's inner emotions and how they manifest in her behavior is well-executed, providing insight into her struggles and growth.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly as Riley reaches a breaking point, showcasing the impact of her emotional turmoil on her actions and relationships.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique concept of emotions playing hockey, blending humor and emotional depth effectively. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly Riley and her inner emotions, are well-developed and their interactions drive the emotional intensity of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Riley undergoes a significant emotional change during the scene, moving from frustration and defiance to vulnerability and realization.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to deal with her emotions and frustrations, as seen through her actions on the ice and her outburst towards her mother.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to perform well in the hockey tryouts, but she struggles due to her emotional turmoil.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Riley's inner emotions, her parents, and the external pressures of the hockey tryout creates a high-stakes and emotionally charged situation.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external challenges that drive the conflict forward.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are evident as Riley's emotional breakdown impacts her relationships, self-perception, and future decisions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by revealing the depth of Riley's emotional turmoil and setting the stage for her growth and development.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected emotional outburst and the protagonist's decision to walk away from the tryouts.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between Riley's desire to succeed in hockey and her emotional struggles, highlighting the importance of mental health and emotional well-being.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional impact of the scene is significant, as it delves into Riley's internal struggles and the consequences of her emotional breakdown.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and emotional turmoil within the characters, enhancing the authenticity of their struggles.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the blend of action, emotion, and humor, keeping the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, making it easy to follow and engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively balancing action and emotional beats.


Critique
  • The transition between Riley struggling on the ice and the chaos in Headquarters is a bit abrupt and could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
  • The actions of the emotions in Headquarters, particularly Fear, Anger, and Disgust, feel a bit exaggerated and over-the-top, which may detract from the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The dialogue between the emotions in Headquarters could be more nuanced and reflective of their individual personalities and roles in Riley's mind.
  • The scene lacks a clear resolution or moment of reflection for Riley after her outburst on the ice, which could provide a deeper insight into her emotions and motivations.
  • The visual descriptions could be enhanced to better convey the chaos and tension in Headquarters and the frustration and disappointment on the ice.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of introspection for Riley after she leaves the rink to show her processing her emotions and the impact of her actions.
  • Tone down the exaggerated actions of the emotions in Headquarters to make their reactions more relatable and realistic.
  • Work on creating a smoother transition between the scenes in the rink and Headquarters to improve the overall coherence of the sequence.
  • Focus on developing the dialogue to better showcase the distinct personalities of the emotions and their interactions with each other.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to effectively convey the emotional intensity and dynamics of the scene.



Scene 26 -  Bing Bong's Grief and Acceptance
INT. IMAGINATIONLAND, PRESCHOOL WORLD ENTRANCE

Boom! Joy turns around and watches Hockey Island crumble.

JOY
Hockey? Oh no... no, she loves
hockey. She can’t give up hockey.

Joy pulls out the HOCKEY CORE MEMORY: Riley’s first goal.
INSIDE OUT 80.

INT. IMAGINATIONLAND, PRESCHOOL WORLD

JOY
Bing Bong, we have to get to that
station.

BING BONG
Sure thing. This way, just past
Graham Cracker Castle. Hey. That’s
weird. Graham Cracker Castle used
to be right here. I wonder why they
moved it?

He walks on, concerned, LEAVING HIS WAGON BEHIND HIM.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Wow, that’s not... I would have
sworn Sparkle Pony Mountain was
right here. Hey, what’s going on?

JOY
Yeah, yeah, I dunno, we’ll have to
come back--

BING BONG
Princess Dream World!

A wrecking ball hits a pink castle. Glitter dust plumes.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Oh no! The Stuffed Animal Hall of
Fame!

RIIIP! The head of a bear comes off. Too late, Bing Bong
notices some construction workers CARRYING AWAY HIS ROCKET.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
My rocket!
(running after them)
Wait! Riley and I, we’re still
using that rocket! It still has
some song power left!!
(sings)
Who's your friend who likes to
play?

THE ROCKET RESPONDS weakly, propelling it forward. The
workers toss it onto a junk pile. A bulldozer pushes the pile
towards the CLIFF EDGE.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Nooo!!! No! No! No! You can’t take my
rocket to the dump! Riley and I are
going to the MOON! Ahhh!
INSIDE OUT 81.

Over it goes, into the darkness.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Riley can’t be done with me.

Bing Bong sits, stunned. Joy approaches gingerly.

JOY
Hey, it’s going to be okay. We can
fix this! We just need to get back
to Headquarters. Which way to the
train station?

BING BONG
(still stunned)
I had a whole trip planned for us.

Joy tries another tactic.

JOY
Hey, who’s ticklish, huh? Here
comes the tickle monster...

No response.

JOY (CONT’D)
Hey! Bing Bong, look at this!
Dohoioih!

She makes a silly face. Nothing.

JOY (CONT’D)
Oh, here’s a fun game! You point to
the train station and we all go
there! Won’t that be fun? Come on,
let’s go to the train station!

Joy walks off, attempting to lead.

SADNESS
(sits beside Bing Bong)
I’m sorry they took your rocket.
They took something that you loved.
It’s gone, forever.

JOY
Sadness, don’t make him feel worse.

SADNESS
Sorry.

BING BONG
It’s all I had left of Riley.
INSIDE OUT 82.

SADNESS
I bet you and Riley had great
adventures.

BING BONG
They were wonderful. Once we flew
back in time. We had breakfast
twice that day.

SADNESS
That’s sounds amazing. I bet Riley
liked it.

BING BONG
Oh she did. We were best friends.

SADNESS
Yeah. It’s sad.

Bing Bong puts his head on Sadness’ shoulder and CRIES.
Sadness keeps her arm around him until he’s done.

BING BONG
I’m okay now.
(stands)
C’mon, the train station is this
way.

He walks off. Joy and Sadness follow.

JOY
How did you do that?

SADNESS
I don’t know. He was sad, so I
listened to what--

BING BONG (O.S.)
Hey, there’s the train!
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary In the midst of Imaginationland's demolition, Joy struggles to comfort a heartbroken Bing Bong whose rocket, representing his bond with Riley, has been destroyed. Sadness, through empathetic listening, helps Bing Bong process his grief, leading him to accept the loss and join Joy in moving towards the train station, signifying a step towards hope and a renewed sense of purpose.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Fantastical world-building
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys a range of emotions, introduces a memorable character, and advances the plot with high stakes and emotional impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring a fantastical world within the mind, dealing with loss, and showcasing the importance of friendship is well-executed and engaging.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong navigate through Imaginationland, facing challenges and setbacks that drive the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and imaginative elements like Imaginationland and the character of Bing Bong, offering a unique perspective on the themes of loss, friendship, and resilience. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and authenticity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bing Bong, are well-developed and evoke empathy from the audience. Their interactions and emotional depth enhance the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Bing Bong undergoes a significant emotional change as he grapples with the loss of his rocket, showcasing vulnerability and growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Joy's internal goal is to maintain Riley's happiness and prevent her from losing her love for hockey, which reflects her desire to protect Riley's core memories and emotional well-being.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to get to the train station and return to Headquarters, reflecting the immediate challenge of navigating through the chaotic and changing landscape of Imaginationland.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict arises from the characters' struggle to find their way back to Headquarters and deal with the loss of Bing Bong's rocket, creating tension and emotional stakes.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bing Bong facing obstacles and challenges that test his resilience and emotional strength, creating uncertainty and tension for the audience.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are established through the characters' emotional turmoil, the loss of Bing Bong's rocket, and the urgency to return to Headquarters before Riley wakes up.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges, deepening character relationships, and setting up future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' journey, keeping the audience on their toes and invested in the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of loss, friendship, and resilience. Bing Bong's attachment to his rocket symbolizes the pain of losing a cherished memory, while Sadness offers empathy and comfort, highlighting the importance of emotional connection and support.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly sadness and empathy, as Bing Bong mourns the loss of his rocket and the characters face challenges.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys emotions and relationships between the characters, but could be more impactful in certain moments.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, humor, and fantastical elements, drawing the audience into the characters' journey and struggles.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and engaging structure, effectively building tension and emotional depth through its pacing and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene in Imaginationland, specifically at the Preschool World entrance, lacks a clear sense of urgency and emotional depth given the circumstances. The crumbling of Hockey Island, which is a significant aspect of Riley's identity, should evoke a stronger emotional response from Joy and Bing Bong.
  • The dialogue between Joy and Bing Bong feels somewhat disconnected from the gravity of the situation. Bing Bong's distress over losing his rocket, which symbolizes his bond with Riley, could be portrayed with more emotional weight.
  • The transition from Bing Bong's devastation to Joy's attempts at lighthearted distraction feels abrupt and could benefit from a smoother emotional arc. The scene could explore Bing Bong's grief and the impact of losing his connection to Riley in more depth.
  • The resolution of Bing Bong's sadness through Sadness' empathy is a positive moment, but it could be further developed to showcase the importance of processing and acknowledging emotions. This could add depth to Bing Bong's character and his relationship with Riley.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual cues and descriptions to enhance the fantastical and emotional elements of Imaginationland. Creating a more immersive and visually engaging environment would help convey the emotional journey of the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider amplifying the emotional impact of Hockey Island crumbling by showing Joy and Bing Bong's reactions in a more profound and heartfelt manner. This could help the audience connect with the characters on a deeper level.
  • Explore Bing Bong's grief over losing his rocket in more detail, emphasizing the significance of this loss in his relationship with Riley. This could add layers to his character and enhance the emotional resonance of the scene.
  • Smooth out the transition between Bing Bong's distress and Joy's attempts at distraction to create a more cohesive emotional arc. This could help maintain the emotional intensity of the scene and ensure a consistent tone throughout.
  • Further develop the resolution of Bing Bong's sadness through Sadness' empathy, highlighting the importance of processing emotions and the healing power of empathy. This could add depth to the characters' emotional journey and reinforce the theme of emotional growth.
  • Enhance the visual elements of the scene to create a more immersive and engaging portrayal of Imaginationland. Utilize vivid descriptions and visual cues to bring the fantastical environment to life and enhance the emotional impact of the characters' journey.



Scene 27 -  The Search for Happiness
INT. TRAIN CAR - DAY

Our trio climb aboard just as the train moves.

JOY
We made it! We’re finally going to
get home!

Twirling, she knocks over two boxes labeled “FACTS” and
“OPINIONS.” Small objects spill out of both.
INSIDE OUT 83.

JOY (CONT’D)
Oh no! These Facts and Opinions
look so similar!

He dumps them into the “FACTS” box.

BING BONG
Eh, don’t worry about it -- happens
all the time.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - NIGHT

Riley drops her gear and throws herself on her sleeping bag.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

DISGUST
On a scale of one to ten, I give
this day an F.

ANGER
Well why don’t we quit standing
around and DO something?

DISGUST
Like what, genius?

Fear enters with a suitcase.

FEAR
Like quitting! That’s what I’m
doing.

He stomps on the recall button.

FEAR (CONT’D)
Sure, it’s the coward’s way out.
But this coward is gonna survive!

The tube drops over him, but pummels Fear with dozens of
memories. The tube shuts off and retracts. Fear drops to the
floor in pain.

DISGUST
Emotions can’t quit, genius.

Fear spits up a memory.

DISGUST (CONT’D)
Euch! I thought we were supposed to
be keeping Riley happy.
INSIDE OUT 84.

ANGER
Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

Anger runs to the back and rummages through the ideas.

ANGER (CONT’D)
Ah ha!

FEAR
What is it?

ANGER
(holds up the lightbulb)
Oh nothing. Just the best idea ever.

DISGUST
What?

ANGER
All the good core memories were
made in Minnesota. Ergo, we go back
to Minnesota and make more. Ta-da!

FEAR
Wait. You’re saying we run away?

ANGER
Well, I wouldn’t call it that. I’d
call it, “The Happy Core Memory
Development Program.”

FEAR
You can’t be serious.

ANGER
Hey. Our life was perfect until Mom
and Dad decided to move to San Fran
Stinktown.

FEAR
But, I mean, it’s just so drastic!

ANGER
Need I remind you of how great
things were there? Our room? Our
back yard? Our friends?

He punches up a memory. It plays on the screen.

GUM MEMORY
Tripledent gum will make you smile!
Tripledent gum it lasts--
INSIDE OUT 85.

ANGER
Did I ASK for the gum
commercial?!?!
(he ejects the memory)
Anyway, it was better, that’s my
point.

DISGUST
(considering)
Riley was happier in Minnesota...

FEAR
Wait, hold on. Shouldn’t we just
sleep on this or something?

ANGER
Fine. Let’s sleep on it. Because
hey, I’m sure jolly fun-filled
times are just around the corner.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong find themselves on a train where they accidentally disrupt the flow of information. Meanwhile, back in Riley's Headquarters, the emotions are struggling to cope with her sadness. Disgust is unhappy with the day, Anger is impatient, and Fear is about to quit. Anger proposes a plan to go back to Minnesota to create new happy memories for Riley, hoping to revitalize her core personality. Though initially hesitant, Disgust and Fear agree to consider the plan, leaving the future uncertain.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Well-defined characters
  • Innovative concept
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive humor
  • Slight lack of clarity in certain character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor, drama, and reflection to engage the audience in the emotional journey of the characters. The concept of core memories and the inner workings of Riley's mind are intriguing and well-executed.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of core memories and the idea of returning to a place where one was happier to create new memories is innovative and thought-provoking. It adds depth to the characters and the overall story.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene focuses on the emotions' decision to return to Minnesota to create new core memories, adding a layer of conflict and tension to the story. It moves the narrative forward and sets up potential future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to exploring the inner workings of a character's mind through personified emotions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities and interactions are well-defined and contribute to the overall dynamics of the scene. Each emotion has a distinct role and voice, adding depth to the storytelling.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo internal changes as they grapple with their decisions and emotions. This sets the stage for potential growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find a way to make Riley happy and navigate the conflicting emotions within her mind. This reflects her deeper need for emotional stability and happiness.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to come up with a plan to improve Riley's emotional state by returning to a place where she was happier, Minnesota. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with Riley's current unhappiness and the impact of her family's move.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the emotions regarding the decision to return to Minnesota creates tension and drives the scene forward. It adds depth to the characters and their relationships.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints among the characters and a sense of uncertainty about the decision they will make.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as the emotions contemplate a drastic decision that could impact Riley's well-being and happiness. The outcome of their choice carries significant weight and consequences.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and dilemmas for the characters to overcome. It sets up future conflicts and resolutions, driving the narrative towards its climax.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected decisions made by the characters and the conflicting viewpoints presented, keeping the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of running away from problems versus facing them head-on. Anger advocates for returning to a place where Riley was happy, while Fear is hesitant about the drastic decision. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about how to handle difficult situations and the importance of confronting emotions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions from confusion and frustration to hope and reflection. The characters' struggles and conflicts resonate with the audience, creating a strong emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals the emotions' inner struggles and motivations. It effectively conveys the humor, drama, and reflection present in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the characters, the high stakes of Riley's emotional state, and the humor injected into the dialogue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue-heavy moments with action and tension, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and well-defined character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition between the train car and Riley's room, causing a disjointed feel in the storytelling.
  • The dialogue between Disgust, Anger, and Fear feels a bit forced and lacks depth, making the emotions come across as one-dimensional.
  • The decision-making process of the emotions to go back to Minnesota is abrupt and lacks proper build-up or internal conflict, making it feel rushed.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotions' reactions and interactions, adding depth to their characters.
  • The humor in the scene could be improved by incorporating more subtle or nuanced jokes, rather than relying on straightforward dialogue.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the train car and Riley's room to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Develop the dialogue between the emotions to add more depth and complexity to their interactions, making them more relatable and engaging.
  • Build up the decision-making process of the emotions to go back to Minnesota by introducing internal conflicts and emotional struggles, creating a more compelling narrative arc.
  • Enhance the visual elements in the scene to convey the emotions' reactions and interactions more effectively, adding layers to their characters.
  • Incorporate more subtle and nuanced humor into the scene to elevate the comedic elements and engage the audience on a deeper level.



Scene 28 -  The Dream Production Deadline
INT. RILEY’S ROOM - NIGHT

Riley goes to sleep.


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY CLIFFS

The train slows to a stop.

JOY
Huh?

The engineer and his assistant hop off the engine.

JOY (CONT’D)
Hey hey! Why aren’t we moving?

TRAIN ENGINEER
Riley’s gone to sleep. We’re all on
break.

SADNESS
You mean we’re stuck here until
morning?

BING BONG
Yeah, the Train of Thought doesn’t
run while she’s asleep.

JOY
Oh, we can’t wait that long!
INSIDE OUT 86.

SADNESS
How about we wake her up?

JOY
Sadness, that’s ridiculous. How
could we possibly...

She follows Sadness’ gaze and spots DREAM PRODUCTIONS.

JOY (CONT’D)
How about we wake her up!?

SADNESS
Great idea, Joy.

JOY
Thanks. Come on!


EXT. DREAM PRODUCTIONS - NIGHT

Pan down from the DREAM PRODUCTIONS GATE: a busy backlot.

JOY
Whoa! This place is huge.

SADNESS
Yeah, it looks so much smaller than
I expected.

They walk past dream “movie posters.”

BING BONG
Whoa! “I Can Fly”? I love that one!

Joy spots a Unicorn sitting in a director’s chair.

JOY
Rainbow Unicorn! She’s RIGHT THERE!

Joy tries to play it cool as they walk past.

SADNESS
My friend says you’re famous. She
wants your autograph.

JOY
No, no, Sadness, don’t bother Miss
Unicorn, okay?
(to unicorn)
Sorry, she’s from outta town. So
embarrassing, right?

She pushes Sadness away. Joy pops back in.
INSIDE OUT 87.

JOY (CONT’D)
I loved you in Fairy Dream
Adventure Part 7. Okay, bye. I love
you.

They reach STAGE B. A sign below a red flashing light reads,
“DO NOT ENTER WHEN LIGHT FLASHING.”

BING BONG
Huh. Wonder what that means. Oh
well, let’s go in!

They enter.
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary Joy and Sadness, determined to reach the Dream Productions studio and find Rainbow Unicorn, find their progress halted when Riley falls asleep, bringing the Train of Thought to a stop. Initially reluctant to wake Riley, Joy eventually agrees to the idea, and the three enter the studio through Stage B, ignoring a warning sign about a flashing light. Bing Bong is enthralled by the various dream films he sees along the way.
Strengths
  • Creative setting in dream production studio
  • Engaging character interactions
  • Visually stimulating environment
Weaknesses
  • Low conflict level
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, visually captivating, and introduces a new and intriguing setting within the story. It keeps the audience interested and curious about the next steps in the characters' journey.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of navigating through dream productions to wake Riley up is innovative and adds a unique twist to the storyline. It introduces a creative way for the characters to interact with Riley's subconscious mind.

Plot: 7

The plot in this scene focuses on the characters' attempt to wake Riley up by exploring the dream production studio. It moves the story forward by introducing a new challenge for the characters to overcome.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh and imaginative elements, such as Dream Productions and the Train of Thought, while maintaining authenticity in the characters' actions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, including Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong, are well-developed and showcase their personalities through their interactions in the dream production setting. Each character's unique traits shine through in their dialogue and actions.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions between the characters showcase their personalities and dynamics, setting the stage for potential growth in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to wake Riley up from her sleep. This reflects Joy's desire to maintain Riley's happiness and well-being.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate Dream Productions and find a way to wake Riley up. This reflects the immediate challenge of being stuck in the Long-Term Memory Cliffs.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is a sense of urgency to wake Riley up, the conflict in this scene is relatively low compared to other parts of the story. The focus is more on exploration and discovery.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing challenges and obstacles that add tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in this scene are relatively low, focusing more on exploration and discovery rather than high-intensity conflict. The characters' main goal is to wake Riley up, adding a sense of urgency but not extreme danger.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new setting and challenge for the characters to overcome. It sets the stage for the next steps in the characters' journey to wake Riley up.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected challenges and obstacles the characters face in Dream Productions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between Joy's optimism and Sadness' practicality. Joy believes in finding a solution to wake Riley up quickly, while Sadness suggests a more direct approach.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of nostalgia and hopefulness as the characters navigate through the dream production studio. There is a connection to Riley's inner thoughts and emotions, adding depth to the storytelling.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is engaging and reflects the personalities of the characters. It adds depth to the interactions and helps move the story forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and intriguing setting.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and excitement as the characters navigate Dream Productions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear scene transitions and character interactions.


Critique
  • The transition from Riley going to sleep in her room to the Train of Thought coming to a stop feels abrupt and disjointed. There is a lack of smooth transition between these two settings, which can confuse the audience.
  • The dialogue between the characters, especially Joy and Sadness, feels a bit forced and lacks depth. The interactions could be more nuanced and reflective of the emotions they are experiencing.
  • The introduction of Dream Productions and the encounter with Rainbow Unicorn feels rushed and underdeveloped. There is potential for more exploration of this fantastical world and the characters within it.
  • The decision to enter Stage B despite the warning sign could be seen as reckless and out of character for Joy, who is usually portrayed as more cautious and responsible.
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of purpose or direction. It feels like a random sequence of events without a strong narrative thread to tie it all together.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between Riley going to sleep and the Train of Thought coming to a stop to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Work on developing more natural and authentic dialogue for the characters, focusing on their individual personalities and emotional states.
  • Expand on the exploration of Dream Productions and the interactions with Rainbow Unicorn to add depth and richness to the scene.
  • Reconsider the decision to enter Stage B without a clear motivation or justification, and ensure that the characters' actions are consistent with their established traits.
  • Clarify the purpose and significance of the scene by establishing a clear goal or objective for the characters to achieve, providing a stronger narrative direction.



Scene 29 -  A Nightmare in the Making
INT. STAGE B - BUSTLING SOUND STAGE

Workers scramble to get ready for the production. A Director
distributes scripts.

DREAM DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Set up the classroom set! Today’s
memories are in, we’ve got a lot to
work with here. Riley dumped her
best friend, had a miserable day at
school, and quit hockey. The
writers have put together a killer
script!


INT. STAGE B - COSTUME AREA

Joy cringes at the news as the three hide behind costumes.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Fear enters drinking tea.

FEAR
(grumbling to self)
Just because Joy and Sadness are
gone, I have to do stupid dream
duty...


INT. STAGE B - COSTUME AREA

Joy, Sadness and Bing Bong watch from behind boxes.

JOY
Okay, how are we gonna wake her up?
INSIDE OUT 88.

SADNESS
Well, she wakes up sometimes when
she has a scary dream. We could
scare her.

JOY
Scare her? No no, she’s been
through enough already.

SADNESS
But Joy--

JOY
Sadness you may know your way
around down here, but I know Riley!
We’re gonna make her so happy
she’ll wake up with exhilaration!
We’ll excite her awake!

SADNESS
That’s never happened before.

Joy spots a nearby dog costume and tosses it to Sadness.

JOY
Ooh, Riley loves dogs. Put this on!

SADNESS
I don’t think that’ll work.

JOY
Bing Bong.

BING BONG
Yeah?

She gives him the satchel containing the CORE MEMORIES.

JOY
Don’t let anything happen to these.

BING BONG
Got it!


INT. STAGE B - STAGE AREA, CLASSROOM SET

DREAM DIRECTOR checks the monitor.

DREAM DIRECTOR
Mm hm. Add the reality distortion
filter.
INSIDE OUT 89.

A WORKER slips a filter over the camera lens, transforming
the MIND WORKERS into replicates of Riley’s classmates.

DREAM DIRECTOR (CONT’D)
Love it.
(to actors)
Remember, play to the camera,
everyone! Riley is the camera!
Makeup, get out of there, we are on
in 5,4,3...

A UNION HARP PLAYER strums: the dream is starting.

From the camera’s POV: the classroom set. STUDENTS at desks.
An EXTRA playing Riley’s teacher reads cue cards badly.

EXTRA
Hello class. Before we begin
today’s pop quiz, which counts for
90% of your final grade...


INT. HEADQUARTERS - CONTINUOUS

FEAR
Man, she is one bad actress.


INT. STAGE B - CLASSROOM SET

The CUE CARD GUY flips over the next card.

EXTRA
...I want to introduce our new
student. Riley. Would you like to
stand up and introduce yourself?

DREAM DIRECTOR
Camera.

The camera adjusts as if Riley is standing.

DREAM DIRECTOR (CONT’D)
And... cue Riley.

A CREW MEMBER clears his throat and reads into a megaphone.

RILEY VOICE
My name’s Riley Andersen, I’m from
Minnesota and now I live here.

A STUDENT points to the camera.
INSIDE OUT 90.

DREAM STUDENT #1
Ew, look! Her teeth are falling out!

A crew member drops handfuls of teeth in front of the camera.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
(dismissive)
Pff, teeth falling out, I'm used to
that one. Let me guess, we have no
pants on.


ON THE SCREEN:

DREAM STUDENT #2
Hey look! She came to school with
no pants on!

The camera adjusts down to reveal Riley’s bare legs. Riley’s
hands try to block them.

FEAR
Called it!


INT. STAGE B - BACKSTAGE

Joy and Sadness are in the dog costume, waiting to go on.

JOY
Ready?

SADNESS
I don’t think this happy thing is
going to work. But if we scare her--

JOY
Just follow my lead. Here we go!

Joy yanks Sadness onto the set.


INT. STAGE B - CLASSROOM SET

They run around in playful circles. Joy makes puppy noises.

DREAM DIRECTOR
(flipping through script)
Who is that?
INSIDE OUT 91.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
What’s going on?


INT. STAGE B - CLASSROOM SET

Joy and Sadness run around, Joy licking students and barking.
Through the reality distortion they look like a happy puppy.

Joy looks at the sleep indicator: Riley is still asleep.

INT. RILEY’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Riley is sound sleep.


INT. STAGE B - CLASSROOM SET

JOY
(to Bing Bong)
Psst. You’re on! Go!

Bing Bong pulls a rope. Balloons drop! A colorful backdrop!

JOY (CONT’D)
Woo! Let’s party! Let’s dance. Woo!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
Hey, a party!


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

Riley is still sound asleep.


INT. STAGE B - CLASSROOM SET

On stage, Joy and Sadness run in circles, barking.

SADNESS
Joy, this isn’t working.

Bing Bong knocks over a light, causing spooky uplighting.

Sadness tries to stop. The dog costume RIPS IN HALF.
INSIDE OUT 92.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

Fear does a spit take. On screen, a real dog is in two
pieces.


INT. STAGE B - CLASSROOM SET

Joy runs after Sadness.

JOY
Huh? Sadness, what are you doing?!
Come back here!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

On screen, the front half of a dog chases the rear half.

FEAR
It’s just a dream, it’s just a
dream, it’s just a dream...


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

Riley stirs in her sleep.


INT. STAGE B - CLASSROOM SET

DREAM DIRECTOR
They’re trying to wake her up! Call
security!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Bing Bong appears on screen.

BING BONG (O.S.)
Hi Riley, it’s me! Who’s your
friend who likes to play? Bing
Bong, Bing Bong!

FEAR
Bing Bong?


INT. STAGE B - CLASSROOM SET

Bing Bong slips, tipping over the set wall.
INSIDE OUT 93.

JOY
Sadness! You are ruining this
dream! You’re scaring her!

SADNESS
But look, it’s working!

The SLEEP INDICATOR is starting to tip. Joy’s eyes widen.

JOY
Whoa!

But before she can do anything, Security enters.

DREAM DIRECTOR
(to Security)
They are not part of this dream!
Get them!

Sadness pulls Joy out of harms way as guards GRAB Bing Bong.

DREAM PRODUCTIONS COP #1
Stop right there!

BING BONG
Ow! Hey!

DREAM DIRECTOR
(to camera operator)
Pan away! Pan away!

The camera pans away to Rainbow Unicorn making off with a
giant cupcake platter from the craft services table.
Genres: ["Animation","Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Joy and Sadness continue to try and wake Riley up from her dream world. Joy tries to make a happy dream, but Sadness believes a scary one is more effective. Their attempts to control the dream are disrupted by the dream production crew, who are trying to film a normal school day. Bing Bong tries to help with a party, but Sadness accidentally rips Joy's dog costume, turning the dream into a terrifying nightmare. The scene ends with security chasing Bing Bong away and the dream crew panicking as the dream spirals out of control.
Strengths
  • Inventive concept
  • Dynamic characters
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Creative world-building
Weaknesses
  • Some chaotic moments may be overwhelming for younger audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, creative, and full of unexpected twists, keeping the audience entertained and invested in the characters' journey.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring dream production, inner emotions, and imaginative worlds is innovative and well-executed, adding depth and complexity to the story.

Plot: 7

The plot is fast-paced and filled with comedic elements, driving the story forward while introducing new challenges and obstacles for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh concept of dreams and memories, with unique character interactions and creative solutions to waking up Riley.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are dynamic and relatable, each facing their own struggles and growth throughout the scene, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 7

Several characters undergo growth and development, particularly in their understanding of each other and themselves, leading to meaningful changes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to wake up Riley by making her happy and excited. This reflects Joy's desire to always see the positive side of things and bring happiness to Riley.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to successfully navigate the dream production and avoid getting caught by security. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the characters, their inner emotions, and the dream production team creates tension and humor, driving the scene's momentum.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with security guards posing a threat to the protagonist's goal of waking up Riley.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are not life-threatening, the emotional stakes are high as the characters navigate their inner turmoil and strive to wake Riley up from a troubling dream.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new challenges, deepening character relationships, and setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable with unexpected twists like the dog costume ripping and Bing Bong getting caught by security.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between Joy's belief in making Riley happy and Sadness's suggestion to scare her. This challenges Joy's worldview of always choosing happiness.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from joy and excitement to sadness and frustration, resonating with the audience on a personal level.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reflective of each character's personality, enhancing the scene's comedic and emotional impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes of waking up Riley.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of action, dialogue, and suspense to keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with proper scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format with clear transitions between different areas of the sound stage.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus and direction, with multiple elements introduced but not fully developed or resolved.
  • The transition between different locations and characters is abrupt and disjointed, making it difficult for the audience to follow the action.
  • The dialogue feels forced and lacks depth, with characters stating their intentions rather than showing them through actions and interactions.
  • The humor in the scene falls flat, with the attempts at comedy feeling forced and out of place.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven, with moments of chaos and confusion that detract from the overall narrative flow.
Suggestions
  • Focus on a central conflict or goal for the characters to work towards, providing a clear throughline for the scene.
  • Streamline the scene by cutting unnecessary elements and focusing on the core emotions and motivations of the characters.
  • Develop the dialogue to be more natural and character-driven, allowing the interactions to reveal more about the characters' personalities and relationships.
  • Consider adding more visual cues and physical comedy to enhance the humor in the scene and make it more engaging for the audience.
  • Work on improving the pacing of the scene by balancing moments of action and dialogue to create a more dynamic and engaging sequence.



Scene 30 -  Into the Subconscious
INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
Booooo! Pick a plot line!


INT. STAGE B - CLASSROOM SET

Joy and Sadness watch as guards haul off Bing Bong.


EXT. STAGE B

Joy and Sadness exit Stage B.

BING BONG (O.S.)
Ow! Ow! Cut that out. Ow! Please...
you can’t do this!
(MORE)
INSIDE OUT 94.
BING BONG (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Do you like candy? You look hungry.
I can get you candy! Please! Ow.
Ow. Ow.

Joy and Sadness watch Bing Bong being dragged far off to the
dark, menacing entry of SUBCONSCIOUS.

JOY
No, no no no, there go the core
memories...!

The door opens. SPOOKY LIGHT spills out.

BING BONG
I can’t go in there. I’m scared of
the dark. Please!

He’s thrown in and the door SLAMS SHUT.

Joy and Sadness head after him, down the long stairway.


EXT. SUBCONSCIOUS STAIRS

JOY
What is this place?

SADNESS
(hushed tone)
The Subconscious. It’s where they
take all the troublemakers.


EXT. SUBCONSCIOUS GATE

Joy and Sadness hide. TWO CLUELESS GUARDS block the gate.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD DAVE
My hat feels loose.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD FRANK
Let me see.

How to get in? Sadness has an idea.


EXT. SUBCONSCIOUS GATE

Sadness leads Joy around and behind the guards.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD DAVE
You got my hat? Or, or is that your
hat?
INSIDE OUT 95.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD FRANK
Yeah, it’s my hat.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD DAVE
You sure? I don’t know, look in the
label.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD FRANK
Yeah, it says, “My Hat.”

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD DAVE
Wait, it says, “My Hat”?

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD FRANK
“My Hat,” it says.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD DAVE
That’s what I wrote in my hat.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD FRANK
What are you talking about?

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD DAVE
You’ve got my hat on.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD FRANK
Okay, but it’s my handwriting--

Sadness loudly SHAKES the door.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD DAVE
Hey! You!

SADNESS
Oh! You caught us! Heh.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD FRANK
Get back in there! No escaping!

The guards shove them through and slam the door.
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary Joy and Sadness watch as Bing Bong is dragged towards the Subconscious by guards. Despite the guards' focus on a misplaced hat, Joy and Sadness manage to sneak into the Subconscious, following after Bing Bong. They are shoved through a gate and trapped in the mysterious, menacing Subconscious.
Strengths
  • Humor
  • Tension
  • Engaging characters
  • Unique setting
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Some dialogue may be confusing or unclear

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively introduces a new setting, adds tension and urgency to the story, and showcases the dynamic between the characters. The mix of humor and suspense keeps the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the Subconscious as a place where troublemakers are taken is intriguing and adds depth to the world-building. The interaction with the guards adds a layer of humor and tension to the scene.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong try to rescue Bing Bong from the Subconscious. The scene introduces a new obstacle and raises the stakes for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique setting, the Subconscious, and explores the theme of memory preservation in a creative and engaging way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the overall originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong are well-developed and their interactions are engaging. The clueless guards add a comedic element to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

The characters don't undergo significant changes in this scene, but they do show bravery and determination in trying to rescue Bing Bong.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to rescue Bing Bong and prevent the core memories from being lost. This reflects their desire to protect and preserve important memories and emotions.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate through the Subconscious and find a way to rescue Bing Bong. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in a dangerous and unfamiliar environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene as Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong face off against the guards and try to rescue Bing Bong from the Subconscious.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the guards presenting a difficult obstacle for the protagonists to overcome as they try to rescue Bing Bong.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters face a dangerous situation in the Subconscious and try to rescue Bing Bong. The outcome will have a significant impact on their journey.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new obstacle and raising the stakes for the characters. It sets up the next stage of the characters' journey.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' interactions and the challenges they face in the Subconscious.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the value of memories and emotions, as well as the fear of losing them. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the importance of preserving core memories.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to tension to empathy for Bing Bong. The stakes are raised as the characters face a dangerous situation.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue between the characters and the guards is witty and adds to the humor of the scene. It also conveys the urgency and tension of the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, humor, and tension that keep the audience invested in the characters' journey through the Subconscious.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, as well as allowing for moments of humor and character development to shine through.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined beats and character interactions that drive the narrative forward effectively.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Fear's line in Headquarters to Joy and Sadness watching Bing Bong being taken away by guards, which may confuse the audience.
  • The dialogue between the Subconscious Guards feels a bit forced and could be more streamlined to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The interaction between Sadness and the guards lacks depth and could be more engaging to add to the tension of the moment.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc or development for the characters, making it feel like a transitional moment rather than a significant part of the story.
  • The stakes of the scene could be heightened to create more suspense and engagement for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between Fear's line in Headquarters and the action with Bing Bong being taken away to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Refine the dialogue between Sadness and the Subconscious Guards to make it more engaging and impactful.
  • Explore deeper emotional reactions from Joy and Sadness as they witness Bing Bong being taken away to add more depth to the scene.
  • Develop the scene to have a clearer purpose or impact on the overall story to make it more significant in the narrative.
  • Increase the tension and stakes of the scene to create a more compelling and suspenseful moment for the audience.



Scene 31 -  Escape from the Subconscious
INT. SUBCONSCIOUS CAVE

Joy gives Sadness an approving nod: nice work.

They head forward. This place is spooky.

SADNESS
I don’t like it here. It’s where
they keep Riley’s darkest fears.

Joy spots a dark shape ahead:
INSIDE OUT 96.

JOY
It’s broccoli!

Behind them:

SADNESS
The stairs to the basement!

They SCAMPER AWAY like frightened mice.

JOY
Grandma’s vacuum cleaner!

The vacuum gives chase. Joy and Sadness lose it and hide
behind a rock.

JOY (CONT’D)
(catching her breath)
Okay, come on.

Sadness makes a loud CRINKLING NOISE with each step.

JOY (CONT’D)
Would you walk quieter?

SADNESS
I’m trying!

JOY
What is going--
(looking down)
Candy wrappers.

They follow a trail of candy wrappers into the cave to find--


INT. SUBCONSCIOUS CAVE, CLOWN LAIR

--a crying Bing Bong in a balloon cage, atop a large mound.

JOY
Bing Bong!

BING BONG
Joy?

JOY
There you are.

BING BONG
SHHHHH!
(points)

They are standing in front of a giant SLEEPING CLOWN.
INSIDE OUT 97.

JOY
(terrified)
It’s Jangles.

JANGLES
(talking in his sleep)
Who’s the birthday girl, who’s the
birthday girl...

They gingerly approach Jangles. Joy climbs up to Bing Bong.

JOY
Do you have the core memories?

He gives her the satchel. Joy holds them close.

BING BONG
All he cared about was the candy!

Joy helps Bing Bong squeeze through, but the balloon-bars
make loud twisting noises. Jangles stirs. Joy freezes. She
stretches them further...

Success! Joy and Bing Bong hurry down and the trio rush away.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
We’re out of here! Let’s get to
that train.

JOY
Wait. The train’s not running. We
still have to wake up Riley.

SADNESS
But how?

Joy and Sadness look back at the clown.

BING BONG
Oh no.

Together, Joy and Sadness approach Jangles and HONK HIS NOSE.
His eyes open. He stands. He’s HUGE, towering over them.

JOY
(loudly)
H-hhey Sadness, did you hear about
the p-pahh-party that we’re having?

SADNESS
Ohhhh yeah, yes Joy! Isn’t it a ba-
bahh... birthday party?
INSIDE OUT 98.

JANGLES
Did you say... birthday?

JOY
And there’s going to be cake, and
presents and--

SADNESS
--and games and balloons--

JANGLES
(pulls out a giant mallet)
A BIRTHDAY?!?!

JOY
Okay. Follow us!

All three run towards the gate, followed by the giant clown!

JOY (CONT’D)
Nothing like a good scare to wake
you up, right?
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Comedy"]

Summary Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong face their fears in Riley's subconscious cave. They encounter terrifying obstacles like broccoli and a vacuum cleaner before finding Bing Bong trapped. Desperate to escape, they awaken a giant sleeping clown, Jangles, hoping he'll help. Their plan backfires as Jangles chases them towards the cave exit, creating a tense and suspenseful escape sequence.
Strengths
  • Engaging plot
  • Well-defined characters
  • Innovative concept
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, filled with suspense, and showcases the characters' determination to navigate through a challenging environment to achieve their goal of waking up Riley.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of entering the Subconscious to wake up Riley through a dream world is innovative and adds depth to the storyline.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-developed, with a clear goal of waking up Riley and overcoming obstacles in the dream world.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as the subconscious cave, the giant clown Jangles, and the concept of core memories. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the overall originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, including Joy, Sadness, Bing Bong, and Jangles, are well-defined and each contributes uniquely to the scene's progression.

Character Changes: 7

The characters, particularly Bing Bong, experience growth and change as they work together to overcome challenges.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to retrieve the core memories from Bing Bong and find a way to wake up Riley. This reflects Joy's deeper desire to protect and guide Riley's emotions, as well as her fear of failing in her role as the leader of the emotions.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to escape the subconscious cave and avoid being caught by the giant clown, Jangles. This goal reflects the immediate challenge they face in navigating through Riley's fears and memories.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the characters and the obstacles they face in the dream world adds tension and keeps the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing a formidable obstacle in the form of the giant clown Jangles. The uncertainty of how they will overcome this challenge adds to the suspense and excitement of the scene.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters must navigate through the Subconscious and wake up Riley before it's too late.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new obstacles and advancing the characters' journey to wake up Riley.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected obstacles and challenges for the characters, such as the appearance of Jangles and the need to wake up Riley in a creative way.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' approach to dealing with fear and uncertainty. Joy's optimism clashes with Sadness' tendency to focus on negative emotions, highlighting the importance of balance and acceptance in facing challenges.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from fear to relief, as the characters navigate through the Subconscious.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is effective in conveying the characters' emotions and intentions, although it could be more impactful in certain moments.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines humor, suspense, and emotional depth to keep the audience invested in the characters' journey. The high stakes and fast-paced action contribute to the overall engagement.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, as well as allowing for moments of emotional depth and character development. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue, and action descriptions. The visual elements are effectively conveyed through the writing.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and suspense.


Critique
  • The scene in the Subconscious Cave is filled with tension and suspense, which is effective in creating a sense of danger and urgency. However, the transition from the previous scene could be smoother to provide more context for the audience about how Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong ended up in the Subconscious Cave.
  • The introduction of Jangles, the giant sleeping clown, adds a new element of fear and unpredictability to the scene, which heightens the stakes for the characters. The use of Jangles as a potential threat to waking up Riley is a clever twist.
  • The interaction between Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong is engaging and showcases their teamwork and determination to rescue Bing Bong and wake up Riley. The dynamic between the characters is well-developed and adds depth to the scene.
  • The climax of the scene, where Joy and Sadness honk Jangles' nose to wake him up, is a creative and unexpected way to introduce a sense of chaos and urgency. This moment effectively raises the tension and sets up a thrilling escape sequence.
  • The scene effectively sets up the next stage of the story by leaving the audience with a cliffhanger as Jangles wakes up and the characters rush towards the gate. This creates anticipation and keeps the audience engaged in the narrative.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief transition or recap at the beginning of the scene to provide context for how Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong ended up in the Subconscious Cave.
  • Explore ways to further develop the setting of the Subconscious Cave to enhance the atmosphere of fear and danger. Adding more descriptive details about the environment can immerse the audience in the scene.
  • Ensure that the resolution of the scene, where Joy and Sadness attempt to wake up Riley through a scare tactic, aligns with the overall tone and themes of the story. Consider how this moment contributes to the character development and narrative progression.
  • Continue to build on the dynamic between Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong to showcase their individual strengths and weaknesses. This can add depth to their interactions and highlight their growth throughout the story.
  • Consider refining the pacing of the scene to maintain a balance between tension-building moments and character-driven interactions. This can help keep the audience engaged and invested in the outcome of the scene.



Scene 32 -  Chaos and a Bus Ticket to Minnesota
EXT. SUBCONSCIOUS GATE -- CONTINUOUS

The guards inspect each others’ hats.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD FRANK
Okay, but it’s my handwriting.

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD DAVE
No, it isn’t. That’s my handwrit--
I wrote that!

SUBCONSCIOUS GUARD FRANK
No, but THIS one’s my handwriting--

BASH! Jangles’ mallet smashes through, laughing maniacally.

Our trio run up the stairs, Jangles close behind.


INT. DREAM PRODUCTIONS - STAGE B - MOMENTS LATER

The UNICORN DREAM is mid-production: a Glitter Dance Party,
rainbows and sparkles aplenty. The crew is bored.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Fear is practically asleep.
INSIDE OUT 99.

INT. STAGE B

The set begins to shake. BLAAAM! Jangles crashes in.

JANGLES
WHO’S THE BIRTHDAY GIRL?!?!


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Fear SHRIEKS, bashes a button and passes out.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - NIGHT

Riley bolts upright in bed.


INT. STAGE B

The meter reads “AWAKE.” Joy and Sadness do a happy dance.

BING BONG
Come on, let’s go!

They bolt, leaving Jangles gleefully demolishing the sets.


EXT. TRAIN STATION - MOMENTS LATER

Our trio leap aboard just as the train picks up speed.

JOY SADNESS
Ha ha! We made it! Whoo-hoo! Ha ha! *

JOY
Guess who’s on their way to
Headquarters?!

Joy grabs Sadness and picks her up in celebration.

SADNESS
We are!


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - NIGHT

Riley sitting up in bed after being scared awake.


INT. HEADQUARTERS - MORNING

Anger and Disgust come out looking tired, rumpled...
INSIDE OUT 100.

DISGUST
What is going on?

ANGER
He did it again.

FEAR
(huddled on the floor)
We were at school, and we were
naked, and there was a dog, and his
back half was chasing him... and
then we saw Bing Bong.

ANGER
You idiot! It was a DREAM! This is
ridiculous, we can’t even get a
good night sleep anymore. Time to
take action.

He goes and gets the Idea Bulb he held up earlier.

ANGER (CONT’D)
Stupid Mom and Dad. If they hadn't
moved us, none of this would've
happened. Who’s with me?

Fear stammers nervously. Anger looks to Disgust.

DISGUST
Yeah, let's do it.

Anger plugs the Idea Bulb in.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - NIGHT

Riley gets the idea. She takes out her computer.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
She took it. There’s no turning
back.

DISGUST
So, how’re we gonna get to
Minnesota from here?

ANGER
Well, why don’t we go to the
elephant lot and rent an elephant?
INSIDE OUT 101.

FEAR
Hey! That sounds nice!

ANGER
We're taking the bus, nitwit!


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - NIGHT

On her laptop, Riley pulls up the Transway Bus Lines website.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
There’s a bus leaving tomorrow.
Perfect.

DISGUST
A ticket costs money. How do we get
money?

ANGER
Mom’s purse.

DISGUST
You wouldn’t.

ANGER
Oh, but I would. Where was it we
saw it last?

He punches up a memory. It comes up and plays.

GUM MEMORY (O.S.)
Tripledent gum will--

ANGER
NOOOO!!!
(slams his fist, canceling
the memory)
It’s downstairs somewhere. Mom and
Dad got us into this mess. They can
pay to get us out.
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Comedy"]

Summary Jangles, a giant clown, wreaks havoc on Dream Productions during a Unicorn Dream production, waking Riley up and prompting Joy and Sadness to flee to Headquarters. Back in Headquarters, the emotions are exhausted and frustrated by the previous night's events, especially Fear who has just had a nightmare. Anger uses the Idea Bulb to propose a trip to Minnesota to fix the situation, suggesting they take the bus. However, Disgust points out they need money for the tickets. Anger, determined to resolve the situation, decides to steal the money from Riley's mom's purse. Meanwhile, Riley, also looking to go to Minnesota, searches for bus tickets online.
Strengths
  • Engaging concept
  • Dynamic character interactions
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be repetitive or expository

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, with a good balance of humor, tension, and fantasy elements. The introduction of Jangles adds an exciting twist to the story, keeping the audience invested in the characters' journey.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of navigating through Riley's subconscious to wake her up from a nightmare is unique and adds depth to the story. The introduction of Jangles as a menacing character in the dream world enhances the conflict and raises the stakes for the characters.

Plot: 7

The plot is well-developed, with the characters facing obstacles and working together to achieve their goal of waking up Riley. The introduction of Jangles creates a sense of urgency and danger, driving the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and imaginative elements, such as the Idea Bulb and the characters' interactions with memories, adding authenticity to the characters' actions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities shine through in their actions and dialogue, with Joy's optimism contrasting with Sadness's skepticism and Bing Bong's whimsical nature. The introduction of Jangles as a menacing presence adds depth to the character dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo some development in the scene, particularly in their interactions with Jangles and their teamwork to achieve their goal. Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong all show growth in facing the challenges presented.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate through the chaos and reach a sense of stability or control within their subconscious mind.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to escape the chaos caused by Jangles and reach a safe place, such as Headquarters.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high, with the characters facing obstacles such as Jangles and the urgency of waking up Riley from a nightmare. The tension and danger add excitement to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and conflict, creating obstacles for the characters to overcome and driving the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters must navigate through Riley's subconscious to wake her up from a nightmare. The introduction of Jangles adds a sense of danger and urgency to the situation.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new obstacles and challenges for the characters to overcome. The resolution of waking up Riley sets the stage for the next phase of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and the surreal nature of the setting.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict revolves around the characters' struggle to maintain a sense of control and order in the face of chaos and unpredictability.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to tension to relief. The characters' determination to wake up Riley and the introduction of Jangles create an emotional connection with the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is engaging and reflects the characters' personalities well. The interactions between the characters, especially during moments of tension with Jangles, add depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, tension, and fantastical elements that keep the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene aligns with the genre's expectations, effectively conveying the surreal and whimsical elements of the setting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure that enhances the dreamlike quality of the setting, contributing to the overall narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the Subconscious Gate to Dream Productions without a clear connection or smooth transition.
  • The introduction of Jangles, the giant clown, feels random and out of place, disrupting the flow of the scene.
  • The dialogue between the Subconscious Guards lacks depth and purpose, serving as a distraction rather than adding to the scene.
  • The chaotic and frenetic energy of Jangles crashing into the set and shouting feels forced and overwhelming.
  • The shift from the Dream Productions set to Riley's room and then back to Headquarters is disjointed and lacks a cohesive narrative thread.
Suggestions
  • Consider establishing a clearer connection between the Subconscious Gate and Dream Productions to create a smoother transition.
  • Integrate Jangles into the scene more organically to ensure that his presence feels purposeful and contributes to the overall narrative.
  • Refine the dialogue between the Subconscious Guards to add depth or humor that enhances the scene rather than detracts from it.
  • Tone down the chaotic energy of Jangles' entrance to make it more impactful and less overwhelming for the audience.
  • Work on creating a more seamless and coherent narrative flow by refining the transitions between different locations and events.



Scene 33 -  Riding the Rails of Riley's Mind
INT. RILEY’S ROOM - NIGHT

Riley’s face grows angry.


EXT. MIND WORLD - MORNING

The train speeds ahead. The trio look out the train door.
INSIDE OUT 102.

BING BONG
How about this, huh? Isn’t this
nice? You can see everything from
up here! Look, there's Inductive
Reasoning. There's Deja Vu. There's
Language Processing! There's Deja
Vu. There's Critical Thinking!
There's Deja Vu. Hey look at this,
guys! Memories!

Bing Bong ducks inside the train. Joy looks over to Sadness.

JOY
Hey, that was a good idea. About
scaring Riley awake. You’re not so
bad.

SADNESS
Really?

JOY
Nice work.

Joy turns to sit on a crate inside the train.

JOY (CONT’D)
I can’t wait to get the old Riley
back. As soon as we get there I’m
going to fix this whole mess.

Bing Bong looks at a memory.

BING BONG
Whoa. Is this Riley?

A RECENT MEMORY: Riley hoisted in the air by her teammates.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
She’s so big now. She won’t fit in
my rocket. How’re we gonna get to
the moon?

JOY
(taking the memory)
Oh, it's that time in the twisty
tree, remember? The hockey team
showed up and Mom and Dad were
there cheering. Look at her, having
fun and laughing. I love this one.

SADNESS
Mmm. I love that one too.
INSIDE OUT 103.

JOY
Atta girl! Now you’re getting it!

SADNESS
Yeah. It was the day the Prairie
Dogs lost the big playoff game.
Riley missed the winning shot. She
felt awful. She wanted to quit.

Joy’s smile fades.

SADNESS (CONT’D)
Sorry. I went sad again, didn’t I?

JOY
I’ll tell ya what. We’ll keep
working on that when we get back.
Okay?

SADNESS
Okay.

Joy puts the memory in the satchel.
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Comedy"]

Summary Joy and Sadness, accompanied by the exuberant Bing Bong, journey through Riley's Mind World on a train. As they travel, Bing Bong excitedly points out landmarks like Inductive Reasoning and Deja Vu, while Joy reflects on the success of their recent tactic to wake Riley. However, a shared memory of Riley's hockey disappointment triggers Sadness, prompting Joy to offer reassurance that they will address her feelings upon their return.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Emotional depth
  • Engaging concept
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
  • Slight predictability in character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively blends humor, emotion, and character development, moving the story forward while maintaining a sense of wonder and discovery.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the inner workings of Riley's mind through her memories and emotions is engaging and well-executed, providing insight into the complexities of human emotions.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as the characters navigate through different stages of Riley's mind, facing challenges and working together to achieve their goal of waking her up from a nightmare.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the interplay between joy and sadness in shaping one's experiences. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong are well-developed and show growth and vulnerability as they navigate through Riley's subconscious. Their interactions and dynamics add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters, especially Joy and Sadness, show growth and development as they confront challenges and work together to achieve their goal.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to restore Riley's happiness and emotional balance. This reflects Joy's deeper desire to see Riley happy and fulfilled.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate through Riley's memories and emotions to find a way to help her cope with her current situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

There is a moderate level of conflict as the characters face obstacles in Riley's subconscious and work together to overcome them.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene, represented by Sadness's conflicting emotions, adds complexity and depth to the protagonist's journey.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high as the characters try to wake Riley up from a nightmare and navigate through her subconscious to achieve their goal.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by advancing the characters' journey through Riley's mind and setting up the next stage of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting dynamics between Joy and Sadness, keeping the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the balance between joy and sadness in shaping Riley's experiences and emotions. It challenges Joy's belief that only happiness is necessary for Riley's well-being.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response as the characters navigate through memories and emotions, showing vulnerability and growth.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is engaging and reveals the personalities of the characters, providing insight into their motivations and emotions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, emotional depth, and character dynamics that draw the audience into Riley's world.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, enhancing its impact on the audience.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively balancing character interactions and plot development.


Critique
  • The transition from Riley's angry face in her room to the trio looking out the train door in the Mind World is a bit abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Bing Bong and Joy about the different parts of the Mind World is a bit repetitive with the constant mention of 'Deja Vu'. It could be more engaging if different elements were highlighted.
  • The interaction between Joy and Sadness where Joy compliments Sadness for her idea and acknowledges her contribution is a positive moment that shows character growth and development.
  • The memory of Riley being hoisted by her teammates is a good choice to evoke positive emotions and nostalgia, but the transition from this memory to Sadness mentioning a negative memory about Riley missing a winning shot feels a bit sudden and could be smoother.
  • The shift in Joy's demeanor from excitement to a more serious tone when Sadness mentions the negative memory is well portrayed and adds depth to their dynamic.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between Riley's angry face in her room and the trio looking out the train door to improve the scene's continuity.
  • Explore different elements of the Mind World to make the dialogue between Bing Bong and Joy more engaging and varied.
  • Work on the transition between the positive memory of Riley being hoisted by her teammates and Sadness mentioning the negative memory to make it feel more seamless.
  • Continue to develop the dynamic between Joy and Sadness by showcasing more moments of understanding and growth between them.
  • Ensure that the emotional shifts in the scene are well-paced and effectively convey the characters' development and interactions.



Scene 34 -  Running Away and Returning
INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE - NIGHT

Riley sneaks down the stairs. Mom is on the phone in the
kitchen with her back to Riley.

MOM
(on phone)
But I just don’t understand, why
did our moving van even go to
Texas?

Riley spots Mom’s purse on the table.

MOM (CONT’D)
Multiple customers?

Riley opens the purse.

MOM (O.S) (CONT’D)
Well, we were promised delivery on
the fifth. Uh-huh.

Riley takes out Mom’s credit card. She pauses. Is she really
doing this? Suddenly Mom turns. Riley panics.

Mom looks up. Empty room.
INSIDE OUT 104.

MOM (CONT’D)
(still on phone)
Excuse me, isn’t there any way that
you can rush it?

Riley slips off with the credit card.


EXT. MIND WORLD - CONTINUOUS

The train passes crumbling HONESTY ISLAND.


INT. TRAIN CAR

Honesty Island crashes into the train tracks. Joy, Sadness
and Bing Bong scream.

Workers below see the train falling towards them.

WORKER #1
LOOK OUT!

The train CRASHES onto the cliffside. It slips towards the
edge. Joy struggles to get up, but the floor is pitching.

BING BONG
Hold on!

Workers grab Joy, Sadness and Bing Bong just as the train
slides off the cliff and drops into the dump below.

Joy looks towards Headquarters.

JOY
That was our way home! We lost
another island... what is
happening?

WORKER #1
Haven’t you heard? Riley is running
away.

JOY
What?!


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - MORNING

Riley packs her clothes when her expression changes to worry.
INSIDE OUT 105.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

Fear is driving.

FEAR
Wait, wait, hang on, guys. Are we
really doing this? I mean, this is
serious.

Anger pushes Fear aside and works the console.

ANGER (O.S.)
Look. We have no core memories. You
want Riley to be happy? Let’s get
back to Minnesota and make more.


INT. RILEY’S ROOM

Riley’s worried face goes angry. She packs and exits.


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY CLIFFS

SADNESS
If we hurry, we can still stop her.
(points)

JOY
Family Island. Let’s go!

The trio run along the cliff edge towards the last island.


INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE - STAIRWAY - DAY

Riley walks downstairs.


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY CLIFFS

Family Island shakes and crumbles.

SADNESS
Joy! Joy! It’s too dangerous! We
won’t make it in time!

JOY
But that’s our only way back!

The rumbling causes an END CAP of a nearby shelf to break,
exposing an open tube. A memory gets sucked up and shot
towards Headquarters.
INSIDE OUT 106.

JOY (CONT’D)
A recall tube!

SADNESS
We can get recalled!

They run towards it.
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary Riley steals her mom's credit card and runs away from home. Meanwhile, in Riley's Mind World, Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong's train crashes into Honesty Island and falls off a cliff. They learn that Riley is running away and try to return to Headquarters to stop her. Back in Headquarters, Anger decides to return to Minnesota to create more core memories, while Fear is worried about Riley. Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong use a recall tube to return to Headquarters just as Riley is leaving her house.
Strengths
  • High stakes
  • Emotional impact
  • Tension-filled plot
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
  • Certain elements may be confusing for younger audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

This scene is highly engaging, filled with tension, drama, and action. The stakes are high, and the emotional impact is significant, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of different islands representing emotions, the race against time to stop Riley from running away, and the use of a recall tube to get back to Headquarters are all well-executed and add depth to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot is fast-paced and filled with obstacles for the characters to overcome. The crumbling of the islands and the need to stop Riley from running away drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh concept of personifying emotions and memories, adding authenticity to the characters' actions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters face challenges and show determination and teamwork in trying to save Riley. Their emotions and actions drive the plot forward.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo development as they face challenges and work together to achieve their goal. Their actions and decisions show growth and resilience.

Internal Goal: 8

Riley's internal goal is to cope with her emotions and make sense of her feelings about moving and running away.

External Goal: 7

Riley's external goal is to find a way back home and make more core memories.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense, with the characters facing physical and emotional challenges. The race against time and the need to stop Riley from running away create a sense of urgency.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and uncertainty to Riley's journey, creating obstacles that she must overcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with the characters trying to prevent Riley from running away and facing physical danger in the process. The outcome will have a significant impact on the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, with the characters facing new obstacles and making decisions that impact the narrative. The race against time adds momentum to the plot.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists and turns in Riley's emotional and physical journey.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between Joy's optimism and Sadness's realism, reflecting Riley's struggle between wanting to be happy and facing her true emotions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional impact of the scene is significant, with the characters facing fear, worry, determination, and hope. The audience is emotionally invested in the outcome.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is effective in conveying the urgency and emotions of the characters. It adds depth to the scenes and helps in building tension.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of tension, emotion, and action that keeps the audience invested in Riley's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged in Riley's emotional and physical journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, making the scene easy to follow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, balancing internal and external conflicts effectively.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Riley sneaking down the stairs to the train passing crumbling Honesty Island in the Mind World, which may confuse the audience.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, with multiple events happening quickly without much time for emotional impact or development.
  • The dialogue between the workers and the characters on the train feels forced and lacks depth, making the scene less engaging.
  • The emotional stakes of Riley running away and losing another island are not fully explored or emphasized, diminishing the impact of the scene.
  • The transition from Riley's worried face to anger in her room is sudden and lacks a clear connection to the previous events, making it feel disjointed.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between Riley sneaking down the stairs and the train passing Honesty Island to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Allow more time for the emotional beats to land by slowing down the pacing and giving the characters space to react and process the events unfolding.
  • Enhance the dialogue between the workers and the characters on the train to add depth and authenticity to their interactions, making the scene more compelling.
  • Focus on building up the emotional tension surrounding Riley running away and losing another island to create a stronger impact on the audience.
  • Clarify the connection between Riley's changing emotions in her room and the events in the Mind World to create a more cohesive narrative thread.



Scene 35 -  Joy's Epiphany in the Memory Dump
INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE - DAY

Riley goes to the front door. Mom and Dad are in the kitchen.

MOM
Have a great day, sweetheart.

DAD
See you after school, monkey.

MOM
We love you!

Riley doesn’t respond. She turns and walks out the door.


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY CLIFFS

Family Island rumbles. A LARGE CHUNK of cliff edge breaks off
behind them, driving Joy and Sadness forward.

JOY
Go! Run! RUN!

Joy steps into the disconnected TUBE, ready to sail up to
Headquarters.

Sadness tries to climb in, but there’s not enough room; she
jostles, pressing against the satchel. The CORE MEMORIES
start to turn blue.

JOY (CONT’D)
Woah woah! Sadness!
(pushing her back)
Sadness, stop! You’re hurting
Riley!

Joy pulls a core memory from the satchel. It is BRIGHT BLUE,
but slowly fades back to normal.

SADNESS
Oh no, I did it again...
INSIDE OUT 107.

JOY
If you get in here, these core
memories will get sad!

Joy watches FAMILY ISLAND crumble. She looks down at Sadness.

Joy, pained, decides.

JOY (CONT’D)
I’m sorry. Riley needs to be happy.

She pulls the tube closed and starts up alone.

Sadness and Bing Bong watch, betrayed and despondent.

Joy looks guilt-ridden, but looks on towards Headquarters.

Suddenly, the cliffside rumbles. Joy’s tube BREAKS. Joy
FALLS!

Bing Bong runs forward to help her, but the ground beneath
him crumbles away.

Joy and Bing Bong tumble into the abyss.

SADNESS
Joy!!!


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO ALLEY - DAY

Riley walks off into the fog.


EXT. MEMORY DUMP - MOMENTS LATER

Joy falls, clutching the satchel of core memories.

She lands hard, rolling down a hill of faded memories. She
sits up, looks around. The satchel! All the memories are
still there. Panicked, Joy runs up the hills of memories.

Off in another part of the dump, Bing Bong comes to.

BING BONG
Joy?

Bing Bong notices his hand beginning to fade. He gasps.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Joy!

He finds Joy desperately clawing her way up the hill.
INSIDE OUT 108.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Joy? Joy, what are you doing? Will
you stop it please?

Joy ignores him; keeps trying.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Don’t you get it, Joy? We’re stuck
down here. We’re forgotten.

This stops Joy. All around, memories are fading to dust.
Vapors blowing in the atmosphere, they disappear.

RILEY (O.S.)
We used to play tag and stuff.

Joy recognizes this. She finds Sadness’ BLUE CORE MEMORY:
Riley crying in class.

RILEY (O.S.) (CONT’D)
But everything’s different now
since we moved.

Seeing Riley cry breaks Joy’s heart. She falls to her knees.

She picks up a nearby MEMORY of young happy Riley coloring.

JOY
Do you remember how she used to
stick her tongue out when she was
coloring?

Another memory: Riley talking to a bug.

JOY (CONT’D)
I could listen to her stories all
day.

Another memory: Riley spinning.

JOY (CONT'D)
I just wanted Riley to be happy.
And now...

She holds the recent blue memory of Riley in class. Joy hugs
them all until the memories fall out of her arms.

Joy cries. A long, deep, painful cry.

Joy has lost everything.

Around her, memories fade and disappear.

A tear falls onto the faded TWISTY-TREE MEMORY. Joy wipes it.
INSIDE OUT 109.

In wiping the tear, the memory rewinds. Its color CHANGES
from GOLD TO BLUE.

IN THE MEMORY: Riley sits in the tree with her parents, the
team approaching in the distance.

Joy looks closer. What’s this? She rewinds more.

IN THE MEMORY: Riley sits in the tree, crying, alone.

Joy remembers what Sadness said about the memory...

SADNESS (V.O.)
It was the day the Prairie Dogs
lost the big playoff game. Riley
missed the winning shot. She felt
awful. She wanted to quit.

IN THE MEMORY: Mom and Dad come to console Riley.

Joy fast forwards.

IN THE MEMORY: The hockey team lifts Riley on their shoulders
and cheers. Riley smiles.

JOY
Sadness. Mom and Dad, the team...
they came to help because of
Sadness.

She turns to Bing Bong, ready to take action.

JOY (CONT’D)
We have to get back up there!

BING BONG
Joy, we’re stuck down here. We
might as well be on another planet.

JOY
(getting an idea)
Another planet.
(sings)
Who’s your friend who likes to
play?

Silence.

JOY (CONT’D)
(sings louder)
Who’s your friend who likes to
play?
INSIDE OUT 110.

BING BONG
(understanding; excited)
His rocket makes you yell "Hooray!"

Far off, BING BONG’S ROCKET answers. They run towards it.

BING BONG (CONT’D)
Who's the best in every way and
wants to sing this song to say,
who's your friend who likes to
play? Bing Bong Bing Bong!

Joy and Bing Bong find the rocket!
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary Trapped in the Memory Dump, Joy witnesses the fading of Riley's memories. As her core memories vanish, she realizes the importance of Sadness and how it has played a crucial role in Riley's emotional journey. She is heartbroken, but ultimately finds hope in the memory of Bing Bong's rocket, offering a potential escape from the memory abyss.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • High stakes
  • Concept exploration
Weaknesses
  • Some may find the scene too emotionally intense or heavy

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally impactful, with a strong focus on character development and the high stakes involved. The tension and desperation felt by the characters make it engaging and memorable.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the inner workings of the mind and the importance of memories is well-executed. The scene effectively conveys the struggle to maintain core memories and the consequences of losing them.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly in this scene as the characters face a major challenge and make crucial decisions. The stakes are raised, and the tension is heightened, driving the story forward.

Originality: 9

The level of originality in this scene is high, with a fresh approach to exploring emotions and memories through a fantastical lens. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters show depth and growth, particularly Joy who goes through a significant emotional journey. Bing Bong's loyalty and Sadness' role in understanding the importance of all emotions add layers to the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Joy undergoes a significant change in this scene, realizing the importance of all emotions and making a selfless decision for Riley's well-being. Bing Bong also shows growth in accepting their situation.

Internal Goal: 9

Riley's internal goal in this scene is to find happiness and emotional stability amidst the chaos and loss she is experiencing. This reflects her deeper need for emotional connection and understanding.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find a way back to Headquarters and restore balance to Riley's emotions. This reflects the immediate challenge of being stuck in the Memory Dump and forgotten.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is intense, with the characters facing internal and external challenges. The struggle to save Riley's core memories creates a sense of urgency and desperation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, with internal and external conflicts challenging the characters' beliefs and actions, creating uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as the characters risk losing crucial core memories and facing the consequences of Riley's emotional well-being. The urgency and desperation add tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by presenting a major challenge for the characters and setting up the next phase of the narrative. It raises the stakes and deepens the emotional journey.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' decisions and the outcome of their actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between prioritizing happiness and acknowledging and processing sadness. Joy's decision to prioritize happiness over sadness challenges the belief that only positive emotions are valuable.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The emotional impact of the scene is profound, evoking feelings of sadness, hope, and empathy. The characters' struggles and the risk of losing important memories resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the overall impact of the storytelling.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, high stakes, and character development. The audience is invested in the outcome and the characters' emotional journey.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions enhancing the visual storytelling.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively building tension and emotional depth through the progression of events.


Critique
  • The scene is emotionally impactful, showcasing Joy's internal struggle and realization of the importance of Sadness in Riley's life.
  • The betrayal and desperation felt by Sadness and Bing Bong are effectively portrayed, adding depth to the characters.
  • The visual imagery of memories fading and disappearing creates a sense of urgency and loss, enhancing the emotional weight of the scene.
  • The moment of Joy recognizing the significance of Sadness in Riley's memories is a powerful turning point in the story.
  • The scene effectively sets up the next steps for Joy and Bing Bong to try to return to Headquarters and help Riley.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more dialogue or internal monologue to further explore Joy's internal conflict and realization.
  • Enhance the visual elements to emphasize the fading memories and the impact of Joy's emotional journey.
  • Provide more context or backstory on Bing Bong to deepen the emotional connection with the character.
  • Explore the dynamics between Joy, Sadness, and Bing Bong further to highlight their individual growth and development.
  • Consider incorporating a moment of resolution or decision-making for Joy and Bing Bong as they plan their next steps.



Scene 36 -  Bing Bong's Sacrifice
EXT. MEMORY DUMP - LATER

They perch the wagon atop a hill. Joy looks resigned.

JOY
Hop in!

Both inside, Bing Bong pushes off. They speed down a slope to
gain momentum, singing all the way. They reach the bottom and
shoot up another hill, launching up towards the cliff top.

Joy and Bing Bong enthusiastically, if not desperately, sing
at the top of their lungs.

Not even close. They crash back to the bottom.

JOY (CONT’D)
C’mon!


EXT. MEMORY DUMP - MOMENTS LATER

They shoot down a taller hill for another go. They SING
faster and louder.

Joy reaches for the ledge but they fall with a thud.

Bing Bong stands. There’s no way they’ll make it. He looks
up at the ledge and then to his hand -- it’s disappearing!

BING BONG
Come on, Joy. One more time. I’ve
got a feeling about this one.


EXT. MEMORY DUMP - MOMENTS LATER

Hurdling down the largest hill yet, they continue to sing
Bing Bong’s song.
INSIDE OUT 111.

BING BONG
Louder! Louder, Joy! Sing louder!

Bing Bong times it just right... and jumps out of the wagon.

Without his weight, the Joy gains momentum. She’s unaware of
Bing Bong’s absence.

JOY
We’re gonna make it!

The rocket makes it over the ledge! It crashes atop the
cliff.

JOY (CONT'D)
Woohoo! Bing Bong, we did it! We--

She turns around. She’s alone.

JOY (CONT'D)
Bing Bong? Bing Bong!

She runs to the cliff side. Below, Bing Bong laughs
excitedly, happy to help Riley in the only way he can.

BING BONG
Ya ha ha! You made it! Ha ha! Go!
Go save Riley!
(pause)
Take her to the moon for me. Okay?

He waves as the last of him vanishes into the air. Joy’s eyes
widen in awe; he’s sacrificed his life for her.

JOY
I'll try, Bing Bong. I promise.

Joy gets up and soldiers on.
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary Joy and Bing Bong are desperately trying to launch a rocket wagon over a cliff in the Memory Dump to reach Riley's core memories. After multiple failed attempts, Bing Bong sacrifices himself by jumping out of the wagon, allowing Joy and the rocket to reach the top. This selfless act leaves Joy heartbroken but also filled with a renewed determination to save Riley.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Pacing
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion with the abstract elements

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally impactful, well-paced, and moves the story forward significantly. The sacrifice of Bing Bong adds depth and meaning to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of sacrifice and friendship is well-executed in this scene, providing a poignant moment that drives the emotional core of the story.

Plot: 9

The plot is engaging, with high stakes and a significant turning point in the story. The sacrifice of Bing Bong propels the narrative forward and sets up the climax of the film.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its depiction of a memory dump and the emotional journey of the characters. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to its originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly Bing Bong, show depth and growth in this scene. Bing Bong's sacrifice showcases his loyalty and love for Riley, adding complexity to his character.

Character Changes: 8

Bing Bong undergoes a significant change in this scene, transitioning from a whimsical imaginary friend to a selfless hero willing to sacrifice himself for Riley's well-being.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to overcome her doubts and fears to fulfill her duty of helping Riley. This reflects her deeper need for purpose and connection.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to reach the cliff top to save Riley. This reflects the immediate challenge she faces in the memory dump.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the characters grapple with their emotions and the decision to sacrifice for the greater good.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, especially with Bing Bong's sacrifice.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene, as the characters face the risk of losing Riley and must make difficult decisions to save her.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by setting up the climax and resolution of the film, as Joy is now determined to save Riley with renewed purpose.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected sacrifice of Bing Bong and the emotional impact it has on the protagonist.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is the idea of sacrifice and selflessness, as Bing Bong sacrifices himself for Joy to fulfill her mission. This challenges Joy's beliefs about friendship and sacrifice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The emotional impact of Bing Bong's sacrifice is profound, evoking feelings of sadness, hope, and inspiration in the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters, especially during the poignant moments of sacrifice and determination.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional stakes, the sense of adventure, and the character dynamics.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and emotion, leading to a satisfying resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, adhering to industry standards.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the high stakes involved. The repeated attempts to launch the rocket feel repetitive and do not effectively convey the gravity of the situation.
  • The emotional impact of Bing Bong sacrificing himself to help Joy is somewhat diminished by the lack of a deeper exploration of their relationship and the significance of his sacrifice.
  • The dialogue between Joy and Bing Bong could be more emotionally resonant and impactful, highlighting the bond between the characters and the weight of Bing Bong's sacrifice.
  • The visual representation of the scene could be enhanced to better convey the sense of desperation and determination in trying to launch the rocket. More dynamic visuals could help elevate the emotional impact of the moment.
  • The transition from Bing Bong's disappearance to Joy's realization of his sacrifice feels somewhat abrupt and could be smoother to allow for a more poignant moment of realization and mourning.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more obstacles or challenges for Joy and Bing Bong to overcome in their attempts to launch the rocket, increasing the tension and sense of urgency.
  • Develop the relationship between Joy and Bing Bong further to make his sacrifice more emotionally resonant. Show more moments of connection and camaraderie between the characters.
  • Revise the dialogue between Joy and Bing Bong to make it more heartfelt and poignant, emphasizing the significance of Bing Bong's sacrifice.
  • Enhance the visual elements of the scene to create a more immersive and impactful experience for the audience, using visuals to convey the characters' emotions and the gravity of the situation.
  • Refine the transition from Bing Bong's disappearance to Joy's realization to create a more poignant and emotionally charged moment, allowing for a deeper exploration of the impact of his sacrifice.



Scene 37 -  A Race Against Time
INT. SAN FRANCISCO HOUSE - EVENING

Mom and Dad walk in.

MOM
We’re home! Riley? Riley!


INT. RILEY’S ROOM - EVENING

Dad opens the door. The room is empty.

MOM
I’ll call her cell.
INSIDE OUT 112.

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET - EVENING

Riley walks through a sketchy part of the city.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
This is terrible. Wait. Is that
someone walking towards us? Let’s
cross the street.

Riley’s cell phone rings. MOM is calling.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
It's Mom! She's on to us! Where's
my bag?

Fear finds a paper bag and breathes into it to calm himself.

DISGUST
What do we do?

ANGER
Riley needs to get core memories.
We keep going.


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET - CONTINUOUS

Riley ignores the call and walks on.


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY

Joy runs through the Long-Term Memory stacks.

JOY
Sadness!

She sees Family Island rumble, pieces beginning to break off.
She frantically continues on.


EXT. BUS DEPOT - EVENING

Riley walks into the bus depot.
INSIDE OUT 113.

EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY

Joy runs through a long corridor.

JOY
Sadness? Sadness?
(no answer; desperate)
C’mon Sadness, where are you? Okay.
If I were Sadness, where would I be?

Joy slumps to the ground. She kicks a leg up in the air.

JOY (CONT'D)
(Sadness voice)
Ohhh... everything is awful and my
legs don’t work and you have to
drag me around while I touch all
the--

Joy stops. Something has caught her eye.

REVEAL: a path of blue memories on the bottom shelves.

Joy follows the path.


EXT. BUS DEPOT - MOMENT LATER

Riley walks out of the bus depot and into the advancing line.
Her cell phone rings again: “Mom.”


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Fear breathes faster into his paper bag.

DISGUST
Oh no. It’s Mom again. What do we
do?!

ANGER
Uh... Uh...

Boom! Family Island rumbles behind them.

QUICK INTERCUTS between the line getting shorter, Riley
declining Mom’s call, and Family Island crumbling. Finally...


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Fear’s bag POPS.
INSIDE OUT 114.

ANGER
This is madness! She shouldn’t run
away!

DISGUST
Let’s get this idea out of her
head.

They rush to unplug the idea.


INT. LONG-TERM MEMORY

Joy runs, following the path of blue memories.

JOY
Sadness!

Joy rounds a corner and spots Sadness far down the next row.

JOY (CONT’D)
Sadness!

Sadness turns around.

SADNESS
Joy?

Inexplicably, Sadness turns and runs away.

JOY
Wait, Sadness!

Joy chases after her. Sadness doesn’t stop.

SADNESS
Just let me go! Riley’s better off
without me!

Joy follows Sadness straight into...


INT. IMAGINATIONLAND, FRENCH FRY FOREST

Sadness topples giant french fries in Joy’s path.

JOY
Come back!

Joy uses a super-long fry to vault over the mound of fries.
INSIDE OUT 115.

INT. IMAGINATIONLAND, CLOUD TOWN

Two MIND WORKER COPS are questioning a CLOUD WITNESS.

MIND WORKER COP #1
So you’re saying your husband was
blown away by an elephant.

The Cloud Witness nods. Sadness runs past the crime scene.
They don’t notice.

MIND WORKER COP #1 (CONT’D)
Was he with anyone?

CLOUD WITNESS
Yes! And there she is!

Joy runs right through the Cloud Witness, dissipating her.

MIND WORKER COP #1
(runs after Joy)
Hey! Come back here!

MIND WORKER COP #2
Forget it, Jake. It’s Cloud Town.


EXT. IMAGINATIONLAND, CLIFF EDGE

Joy searches for Sadness. Suddenly, rain falls on her. Above,
Sadness is floating on a chunk of rain cloud, away from
Headquarters.

JOY
What? Sadness!

SADNESS
(crying)
I only make everything worse!

JOY
Wait-- Sadness! We've gotta get you
back to...
(Sadness is too far away)
Ugh.

Joy looks back at Family Island crumbling. She looks around:
what does she have to work with? The Boyfriend Generator...


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Anger tries to untwist the Idea Bulb, but IT WON’T MOVE.
INSIDE OUT 116.

ANGER
It’s stuck!

DISGUST
Oh great.

FEAR
Whadayamean it’s stuck?!?

DISGUST
Now what?

A strange BLACKNESS spreads over the console.

FEAR
Oh, no, no, no. What is THIS?!


INT. BUS - EVENING

Riley boards the bus.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Anger slams a chair down on the console. It bounces off with
no effect. Fear lunges in with a crowbar. He loses control
and it smacks him in the face.


INT. BUS - CONTINUOUS

Riley walks down the aisle of the bus.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

FEAR
Oh, how do we stop it?

DISGUST
I got it! Make her feel scared!
That’ll make her change her mind!

FEAR
Brilliant!

DISGUST
I know it’s brilliant. Do it!

Fear frantically pushes buttons.
INSIDE OUT 117.

FEAR
Ahh! Nothing’s working! Why isn’t
it working??

ANGER
Let me try!

Disgust and Fear pound on the console buttons.

DISGUST
Great, you broke it!

FEAR
No, I didn’t!

ANGER
Let me do it!
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Comedy"]

Summary As Riley walks through a troubled part of San Francisco, ignoring her worried mother's calls, Joy frantically searches for Sadness in Long-Term Memory. She follows a trail of blue memories, while the foundation of Family Island crumbles around her. Meanwhile, in Headquarters, Fear, Anger, and Disgust attempt to stop Riley's runaway idea by unplugging it, but their efforts are thwarted by a malfunctioning console. The darkness spreads, mirroring the growing sense of desperation as Riley slips further away.
Strengths
  • High-stakes conflict
  • Humor
  • Suspense
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel repetitive or expository

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor, suspense, and desperation to create an engaging and intense sequence. The high stakes and fast-paced action keep the audience on the edge of their seats.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the emotions inside Riley's head trying to prevent her from running away is compelling and drives the action forward. The scene effectively explores the inner workings of Riley's mind and the dynamics between the different emotions.

Plot: 9

The plot is well-developed and moves the story forward significantly. The scene introduces a crucial conflict and raises the stakes for the characters, setting up the climax of the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and imaginative approach to exploring the complexities of human emotions, using the metaphor of an internal control center to depict the inner workings of the mind. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and relatability to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their personalities shine through in their actions and dialogue. Each emotion has a distinct role to play in the scene, adding depth to the story.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo some development in the scene, particularly in their reactions to the escalating situation. They are forced to confront their fears and work together to find a solution.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find and reconnect with Sadness, who has run away. This reflects Riley's deeper need for emotional balance and understanding of her own feelings.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to prevent Sadness from running away and causing chaos in Riley's mind. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining emotional stability and control.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and drives the action forward. The characters are faced with a high-stakes situation that tests their abilities and forces them to make difficult decisions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing internal and external obstacles that challenge their goals and beliefs, creating suspense and uncertainty for the audience.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, as the characters are racing against time to prevent Riley from running away. The outcome of their actions will have a significant impact on Riley's well-being and the overall story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a crucial conflict and raising the stakes for the characters. It sets up the climax of the story and propels the narrative towards its resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and decisions, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between embracing and understanding all emotions, even the negative ones, versus suppressing or avoiding them. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the importance of emotional authenticity and acceptance.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions from the audience, including fear, anxiety, and determination. The characters' struggles and the high stakes create a sense of urgency and tension.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters. It adds humor and tension to the scene, enhancing the overall impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines suspense, humor, and emotional depth to keep the audience invested in the characters' journey and the outcome of their actions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and action with moments of introspection and emotional depth, creating a dynamic and engaging rhythm.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between different locations and a focus on character interactions and development.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clarity in terms of the transition between Riley walking through a sketchy part of the city and the actions taking place in Headquarters and Long-Term Memory.
  • The dialogue and actions of the emotions in Headquarters feel rushed and chaotic, making it difficult for the audience to follow the sequence of events.
  • The emotional dynamics between Joy, Sadness, Fear, and Disgust are not fully explored or developed in this scene, leading to a lack of depth in their interactions.
  • The visual descriptions of the Memory Dump, Long-Term Memory, and Imaginationland could be more vivid and detailed to enhance the audience's understanding of these locations.
  • The resolution of the conflict in this scene feels abrupt and lacks a satisfying conclusion, leaving the audience with unanswered questions about the characters' motivations and actions.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the transitions between Riley's actions in the real world and the emotions' actions in Headquarters and Long-Term Memory to improve the coherence of the scene.
  • Slow down the pacing of the dialogue and actions in Headquarters to allow for more nuanced interactions between the emotions and a clearer progression of events.
  • Develop the emotional dynamics between Joy, Sadness, Fear, and Disgust by exploring their individual motivations, conflicts, and growth throughout the scene.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the Memory Dump, Long-Term Memory, and Imaginationland to create a more immersive and engaging setting for the audience.
  • Provide a more satisfying resolution to the conflict in this scene by ensuring that the characters' actions and decisions are clearly motivated and lead to a meaningful outcome.



Scene 38 -  Joy's Daring Rescue
INT. BUS - CONTINUOUS

Riley takes a seat.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

By now, the console is mostly black.

FEAR
Guys. We can’t make Riley feel
anything.


INT. BUS - CONTINUOUS

Riley sits on the bus.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

ANGER
What have we done?


EXT. IMAGINATIONLAND, BOYFRIEND GENERATOR

Joy runs up to Riley’s Imaginary Boyfriend.

JOY
Hey! Hey, look at me. Did you mean
what you said before?
INSIDE OUT 118.

IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND
I would die for Riley! I would die
for Riley!

JOY
Yeah, yeah, okay, Haircut. Time to
prove it.

Joy scoops him into her satchel. She activates the generator.
Imaginary Boyfriends pour out, directly into Joy’s satchel.


EXT. IMAGINATIONLAND

Joy spots Sadness ahead, and runs past her.


EXT. IMAGINATIONLAND, BALLOON TREES

Joy pulls a balloon free from a TWISTY BALLOON PALM TREE. She
aims it towards the approaching Sadness and unties it.

PTHHPT! The balloon blows Sadness back over the MEMORY DUMP.
In the process, the HOUSE OF CARDS behind them collapses.

HOUSE OF CARDS WORKER
(angry)
That’s it! I fold!


EXT. IMAGINATIONLAND, BOYFRIEND GENERATOR

Joy sprints by grabbing the SATCHEL, now full of boyfriends.


EXT. IMAGINATIONLAND, CLIFFSIDE

Sadness floats out over the Memory Dump. Joy runs along the
cliff edge, parallel to Sadness, towards Family Island.


EXT. LONG-TERM MEMORY CLIFFS, NEAR FAMILY ISLAND

Joy sights Sadness and aligns herself with Family Island. She
dumps the satchel, pouring out the Boyfriends. Their momentum
pulls her to the top of a TOWER OF BOYFRIENDS.

JOY
(to herself)
This is crazy, this is crazy... No,
no, no! Joy! Be positive.
(beat)
I am POSITIVE this is crazy!
INSIDE OUT 119.

Joy spots the trampoline on Family Island, then Sadness
floating away. She times it...

JOY (CONT’D)
NOW!

The tower tips forward.

IMAGINARY BOYFRIENDS
For Riley!

Joy falls towards Family Island, bounces on the TRAMPOLINE,
flying up towards Sadness. She intercepts Sadness midair...

JOY
Gotcha!

SADNESS
Joy?

JOY
Hang on!

They launch towards Headquarters. Will they make it?
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Comedy"]

Summary In a frantic effort to save Sadness from being swept away by a balloon in Imaginationland, Joy uses a balloon to push Sadness away, inadvertently collapsing the House of Cards. She then quickly grabs a satchel of Imaginary Boyfriends from the Boyfriend Generator and runs to the edge of a cliff. Creating a tower of Boyfriends, Joy launches herself towards the drifting Sadness, successfully catching her in mid-air. The two emotions then fly back towards Headquarters, leaving their mission's outcome uncertain.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension building
  • Innovative concept
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too complex for younger audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a mix of emotions, humor, and tension that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats. The daring plan and sacrifice add depth to the story and characters.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using Imaginary Boyfriends to save Riley, the daring jump towards Family Island, and the sacrifice made by Bing Bong are innovative and impactful. The scene is crucial in advancing the plot and character development.

Plot: 8

The plot is driven by the characters' actions and decisions, particularly Joy's determination to save Riley and the sacrifice made by Bing Bong. The scene moves the story forward significantly and sets up the climax.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements like the Boyfriend Generator and Balloon Trees, offering fresh approaches to character interactions and plot development. The authenticity of characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters' personalities shine through in their actions and dialogue, showcasing their friendship, determination, and willingness to sacrifice for Riley. Joy's leadership, Sadness' empathy, and Bing Bong's loyalty are highlighted.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant changes in the scene, particularly Joy, who learns the importance of Sadness and teamwork. Bing Bong's sacrifice also marks a turning point in the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to prove her loyalty and dedication to Riley by saving Sadness and bringing her back to Headquarters. This reflects Joy's deeper desire to protect Riley's well-being and ensure her happiness.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to physically rescue Sadness and bring her back to Headquarters before it's too late. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of navigating through Imaginationland and overcoming obstacles.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene arises from the characters' race against time to save Riley, the collapsing Family Island, and the threat of Jangles. The tension and stakes are high, driving the action forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with obstacles and challenges that test the characters' abilities and push them to overcome their fears and doubts.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters risk everything to save Riley. The threat of Jangles, the collapsing Family Island, and the sacrifice made by Bing Bong raise the tension and urgency.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, setting up the climax and resolving key conflicts. It advances the characters' arcs and relationships, leading to a pivotal moment in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and the outcome of their decisions, creating tension and suspense for the audience.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the value of different emotions and their impact on Riley's well-being. Joy's belief in positivity and the importance of happiness clashes with Sadness' presence and the need to acknowledge and process negative emotions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene is emotionally impactful, with moments of sacrifice, friendship, and determination that resonate with the audience. The characters' emotions are raw and relatable, adding depth to the story.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful, with memorable lines and moments that reveal the characters' emotions and motivations. It drives the scene forward and adds depth to the relationships between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, emotional stakes, and humorous moments that keep the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and momentum in the action sequences, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with concise descriptions and dialogue cues that enhance readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and a focus on advancing the plot through character actions and dialogue.


Critique
  • The transition between Riley sitting on the bus and the emotions in Headquarters discussing their inability to make her feel anything feels disjointed and abrupt.
  • The dialogue between Fear and Anger in Headquarters lacks depth and emotion, missing an opportunity to delve into the internal conflict and turmoil of the characters.
  • The scene in Imaginationland with Joy and the Imaginary Boyfriend feels rushed and lacks a clear connection to the overall narrative.
  • The interaction between Joy and Sadness in Imaginationland, while pivotal, could benefit from more emotional depth and development to truly resonate with the audience.
  • The climax of the scene, where Joy saves Sadness and they launch towards Headquarters, lacks a sense of urgency and tension that would heighten the emotional impact of the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between Riley on the bus and the emotions in Headquarters to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Fear and Anger in Headquarters to explore their internal struggles and conflicting emotions more effectively.
  • Provide more context and relevance to the scene in Imaginationland with Joy and the Imaginary Boyfriend to better tie it into the overall storyline.
  • Add depth and emotional resonance to the interaction between Joy and Sadness in Imaginationland to make their connection more meaningful and impactful.
  • Increase the sense of urgency and tension in the climax of the scene to heighten the emotional stakes and create a more impactful resolution.



Scene 39 -  Sadness Saves the Day
INT. HEADQUARTERS

Anger, Fear and Disgust watch the screen, worried.

FEAR
Ohhh, I wish Joy was here!

SPLAT! Joy and Sadness hit the back window and slide down,
grabbing the window edge. The Emotions run to the window.

DISGUST
It’s Joy!

ANGER
Stand back! Arrrrgh!

Anger throws a chair at the window. It bounces off.

DISGUST
(sarcastically)
That worked.

ANGER
Well, what would you do, if you’re
so smart?!

He’s smoldering. Disgust’s eyes light up.
INSIDE OUT 120.

DISGUST
I’d tell you, but you’re too dumb
to understand.

ANGER
What?!

DISGUST
Of course your tiny brain is
confused. Guess I’ll just have to
dumb it down to your level. Sorry I
don’t speak “moron” as well as you,
but let me try: Duuuuhhhhh.

Anger explodes, bursting into full blowtorch flames. Disgust,
sporting a welding mask, picks him up and blows a hole in the
window. Joy and Sadness climb through.

Anger Fear and Disgust all talk at the same time, explaining:

FEAR
Oh, thank goodness you’re back.

DISGUST
Things are really messed up.

ANGER
We found this idea, and now Riley’s
on a bus heading for Minnesota!

Joy looks at the screen.

ON THE SCREEN: Riley stares vacantly out the bus window.


EXT. BUS DEPOT - NIGHT

The bus starts to pull away.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

DISGUST
Joy, you’ve got to fix this. Get up
there.

JOY
Sadness, it’s up to you.

SADNESS
Me?

Joy pushes Sadness towards the console.
INSIDE OUT 121.

ANGER/FEAR/DISGUST
Sadness?!?

SADNESS
I can’t, Joy.

JOY
Yes you can. Riley needs you.

Sadness looks at Joy. Really? Joy nods.


INT. BUS - CONTINUOUS

The bus pulls out onto the street.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Sadness approaches the console and takes charge.

SADNESS
Okay.

She grips the Idea Bulb. The console is now completely black.


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET - NIGHT

The bus is on the road.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Sadness works... and ejects the Idea Bulb. The blackness
retracts.


INT. BUS - NIGHT

Feeling comes back to Riley: her expression changes from
listless to sad. She stands.

RILEY
Wait! Stop! I wanna get off.

The bus stops. Riley runs to the front and out the door.


EXT. BUS STOP - NIGHT

Riley runs away from the bus.
INSIDE OUT 122.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

The Emotions watch the screen in anticipation.


EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET - NIGHT

Riley runs back towards home.


INT. SAN FRANCISCO DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Mom sits at the table, on the phone. Dad hovers.

MOM
(on phone)
Alright. Thank you. We will.
(to Dad)
Her teacher hasn’t even seen Riley
all day.

DAD
What? I can't believe this.

MOM
What was she wearing last? Do you
even remember what--

The door opens. Riley walks in. They rush over to her.

MOM (CONT’D)
Riley!

DAD
Riley, there you are! Thank
goodness!

MOM
Oh, we were worried sick! Where
have you been? It’s so late...


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Sadness drives. Joy walks to her, holding the golden core
memories. She hands them over to Sadness.

The core memories turn BLUE.

Sadness places one in the recall unit.

THE MEMORY PLAYS ON SCREEN:

Young Riley and young Meg walk side by side.
INSIDE OUT 123.

INT. SAN FRANCISCO DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Riley remembers.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Sadness places another blue memory in the recall unit.

MEMORIES PLAY ON SCREEN:

Young Riley makes cookies with Mom and Dad. Riley runs around
with underpants on her head, Dad chasing. Riley scores her
first goal. Riley skates with Mom and Dad.

Sadness places her hand on the console. It turns BLUE.


INT. SAN FRANCISCO DINING ROOM

Riley cries.

RILEY
I know you don’t want me to but...
I miss home. I miss Minnesota.

Mom and Dad, concerned, listen quietly.

RILEY (CONT’D)
You need me to be happy, but... I
want my old friends, and my hockey
team... I wanna go home. Please
don’t be mad.

MOM
Oh sweetie...

DAD
We’re not mad. You know what? I
miss Minnesota too. I miss the
woods where we took hikes.

MOM
And the back yard where you used to
play.

DAD
Spring Lake, where you learned to
skate.

Riley cries harder.

DAD (CONT’D)
Come here.
INSIDE OUT 124.

He pulls Riley towards them. The three hug.
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Comedy","Family"]

Summary After being ejected from the train, Joy and Sadness return to Headquarters, where the other Emotions are relieved to see them but worried about Riley, who's on a bus to Minnesota. Joy urges Sadness to take control of the console and bring Riley back. Hesitant at first, Sadness eventually agrees and manipulates the Idea Bulb, causing Riley to feel sad and decide to get off the bus. She runs back home, where her parents are overjoyed. Sadness then uses blue core memories to remind Riley of her life in Minnesota, leading her to express her longing for home. Riley's parents comfort her, reassuring her that they understand and miss Minnesota too. The scene ends with a heartwarming hug between Riley, her parents, and the Emotions, showcasing the power of sadness and the importance of family and home.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Heartwarming resolution
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally impactful, well-paced, and crucial in advancing the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring Riley's inner emotions and the impact they have on her actions is effectively portrayed.

Plot: 9

The plot progresses significantly as Riley confronts her true feelings and makes a decision to express them.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to exploring internal conflict and self-discovery through the personification of emotions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Joy, Sadness, and Riley, undergo significant development and emotional growth in this scene.

Character Changes: 9

Riley undergoes a significant change in expressing her true feelings, leading to emotional growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the conflicting emotions within themselves and make a decision that aligns with their true feelings and desires.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to prevent Riley from making a decision that goes against her true feelings and desires, ultimately guiding her back on the right path.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The internal conflict within Riley and the emotional turmoil she experiences create a compelling conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting emotions and external challenges creating obstacles for the protagonist to overcome.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as Riley confronts her true emotions and makes a decision that will impact her future.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by resolving Riley's internal conflict and setting a new direction for her character.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected twists and turns in the protagonist's emotional journey, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between societal expectations and personal desires. The protagonist must choose between conforming to what others want from her or following her own heart.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene is highly emotionally impactful, evoking a range of feelings from the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and inner conflicts of the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines humor, tension, and emotional depth to keep the audience invested in the protagonist's journey and decision-making process.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and reflection, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the protagonist's emotional journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting that enhances readability.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict while advancing the plot.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clarity in terms of the emotions' actions and motivations. There is a lot of chaos and confusion in the dialogue and interactions between the emotions, which can be overwhelming for the audience.
  • The transition between different locations and events is abrupt and could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
  • The resolution of the conflict feels rushed and lacks emotional depth. The impact of Sadness taking charge and Riley's decision to get off the bus could be more effectively portrayed.
  • The dialogue between the emotions, especially Anger and Disgust, feels forced and lacks subtlety. The interactions could be more nuanced to reflect the complexity of the characters.
  • The emotional journey of Riley, from feeling listless to sad, could be more clearly depicted to evoke empathy and understanding from the audience.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the actions and motivations of the emotions to make the scene more coherent and engaging.
  • Smooth out the transitions between different locations and events to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Develop the resolution of the conflict between Joy, Sadness, and Riley to add emotional depth and resonance.
  • Refine the dialogue between the emotions to make it more natural and reflective of their personalities.
  • Enhance the portrayal of Riley's emotional journey to create a more impactful and relatable moment for the audience.



Scene 40 -  A New Beginning: Expansion and Upgrades
INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy steps forward with one more gift for Sadness: the blue
core memory.

Sadness pulls Joy by the hand and places it on the console.


INT. SAN FRANCISCO DINING ROOM

Still in an embrace, Riley smiles through her tears.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

BING! Joy and Sadness hear the sound of a new memory being
produced. It’s a NEW CORE MEMORY: BLUE AND GOLD, swirled
together. A first.

The Emotions react in awe.

The memory travels down the track and into the holder. A
lightline extends out the back of Headquarters. It is a new
FAMILY ISLAND, bigger than before.

Joy and Sadness turn back to the console together.


INT. SAN FRANCISCO DINING ROOM

Riley, Mom and Dad embrace.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Watching the screen, Joy rests her head on Sadness. They’re a
team.


INT. HEADQUARTERS - DAYS LATER

We see many new, multicolored core memories in the Core
Memory Holder.

The Emotions admire the new Islands of Personality.

FEAR
Hey, I’m liking this new view.
INSIDE OUT 125.

ANGER
Friendship Island has expanded.
Glad they finally opened that
Friendly Arguments section.

SADNESS
I like Tragic Vampire Romance
Island.

DISGUST
Fashion Island. Everyone shut up!

FEAR
Boy Band Island. Hope that's just a
phase.

JOY
Say what you want, I think it’s all
beautiful.

WORKER FRITZ
Alright!

The Emotions turn to see workers at a new, larger console.

WORKER FRITZ (CONT’D)
There you go. Your new expanded
console is up and running.

The new console lights up.

JOY/SADNESS/FEAR/ANGER/DISGUST
Whoa!

DISGUST
Cool. Upgrade!

JOY
Ooohh.

Fear leans on the console. BEEP!

FEAR
Hey! Whoa! Whoops, wait. Did I just
do that?

DISGUST
(re: a warning light label)
Hey guys? What’s “pub-er-ty?”

JOY
I don’t know. It’s probably not
important.
INSIDE OUT 126.

ANGER
Whoa. I have access to the entire
Curse Word Library! This new
console is the sh--

BEEP!

FEAR
Sorry. I did it again. My bad.

DISGUST
(pointing to screen)
They’re getting to the rink!
Genres: ["Animation","Adventure","Comedy","Family"]

Summary Joy and Sadness successfully place the blue core memory in Headquarters, triggering the creation of a new blue and gold core memory. This new memory expands the Family Island, symbolizing Riley's growth and her family's strengthened bond. Meanwhile, Riley, Mom, and Dad share a heartwarming reconciliation in their San Francisco dining room. Days later, the Emotions discover an upgraded console in Headquarters, granting them expanded access to personality islands and functionalities. Filled with excitement and curiosity, the Emotions eagerly explore the new possibilities offered by the upgraded console, leaving a sense of optimism and hope for the future.
Strengths
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Effective teamwork and character growth
  • Positive resolution and closure
Weaknesses
  • Limited intense conflict
  • Some dialogue may be predictable or cliché

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally impactful, well-paced, and sets up a hopeful and heartwarming resolution for the characters. It effectively ties up loose ends and brings closure to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of creating new core memories and expanding the Islands of Personality is innovative and ties in well with the overall theme of emotional growth and self-discovery.

Plot: 8

The plot is engaging and serves as a satisfying conclusion to the story, focusing on the Emotions' efforts to help Riley navigate her emotions and find happiness.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original concept of depicting emotions as characters in a fantastical world within the protagonist's mind. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters show growth and development, particularly Joy and Sadness, as they work together to create positive changes for Riley. Each character's unique traits and personalities shine through in their interactions.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters, especially Joy and Sadness, undergo significant changes in the scene as they learn to work together, accept different emotions, and prioritize Riley's well-being. These changes contribute to the overall growth and resolution of the story.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to reconcile Joy and Sadness and work together as a team to create new core memories and expand the islands of personality. This reflects the deeper need for emotional balance and growth.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to adapt to the changes in their mind and embrace the new islands of personality. This reflects the immediate challenge of accepting and integrating new experiences and emotions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

While there is some conflict in the scene, such as Fear accidentally triggering the console, the overall tone is more focused on resolution and positive change rather than intense conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, but not overwhelming to the point of overshadowing the character dynamics.

High Stakes: 5

While the stakes are not extremely high in this scene, the emotional well-being of Riley and the success of the Emotions' efforts to create new core memories are important elements that drive the narrative forward.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by resolving key conflicts, setting up a positive resolution for Riley, and showcasing the Emotions' growth and teamwork. It paves the way for the final act of the story.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' actions and dialogue, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the tension between embracing change and holding onto familiar aspects of the self. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about identity and growth.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly feelings of hope, nostalgia, and warmth. It effectively wraps up the emotional journey of the characters and leaves a lasting impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is meaningful and reflective of the characters' emotions and growth. It effectively conveys the themes of teamwork, acceptance, and personal development.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the characters, the humor in their dialogue, and the visual spectacle of the mind's inner workings.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of emotional depth with comedic relief, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre by establishing the setting, introducing conflict, and resolving it through character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the emotional climax of Riley reuniting with her parents to the Emotions admiring the new core memories and upgraded console. This sudden shift in focus can feel disjointed and disrupt the emotional flow of the story.
  • The dialogue between the Emotions at the new console feels a bit forced and lacks depth. It doesn't add much to the overall narrative or character development.
  • The introduction of new Islands of Personality and the upgraded console seem like a rushed way to tie up loose ends without much emotional impact or significance.
  • The Emotions' reactions to the upgrades and new core memories feel superficial and don't delve into the deeper emotional growth and understanding that should come from the resolution of Riley's internal conflict.
  • The scene lacks a sense of closure and resolution for the emotional journey that Riley and her Emotions have been on throughout the script.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to provide a more gradual transition from the emotional resolution with Riley and her parents to the Emotions admiring the new core memories and console.
  • Focus on deepening the dialogue and interactions between the Emotions at the new console to reflect their growth and understanding of Riley's emotional complexity.
  • Instead of simply showcasing the upgrades and new Islands of Personality, use this moment to further explore the Emotions' individual growth and relationships with each other.
  • Add a more poignant and meaningful conclusion to the scene that ties back to Riley's emotional journey and the impact of the new core memories on her personality.
  • Consider incorporating a reflection on how the Emotions have evolved and learned from their experiences, leading to a more satisfying and emotionally resonant conclusion.



Scene 41 -  Embarrassed at the Rink
EXT. HOCKEY RINK - DAY

The same rink Riley left before. The Golden Gate gleams in
the background.


INT. HOCKEY RINK

A pep talk from Riley’s parents. We don’t see their faces.

DAD
Now when you get out there, you be
aggressive!

RILEY
(embarrassed)
I know, Dad.

MOM
-- but not too aggressive.

RILEY
You know, you guys don’t have to
come to every game.

REVEAL: Mom and Dad’s faces are painted blue and green.

DAD
Are you kidding? I’m not missing
one! GO FOGHORNS!

MOM
GO RILEY! FOGHORNS ARE THE BEST!

RILEY
Okay, okay. I gotta go.

Riley walks away, mortified, as Dad makes foghorn noises.
INSIDE OUT 127.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

All the Emotions at the control panel.

JOY
Awww...

FEAR
They love us!

ANGER
Yeah, Mom and Dad are pretty cool.

DISGUST
Guys, of course they are. But we
can’t SHOW IT!


INT. HOCKEY RINK

Zoom in to Dad’s head...


INT. DAD’S HEADQUARTERS

Dad’s Emotions cheer. They all have their faces painted.

ON THE SCREEN: Mom beams at Dad.

DAD’S FEAR
She loved the face painting!

DAD’S ANGER
Ha! Told you it was a great idea!

Dad turns to Mom. She smiles, and we zoom in to her head...


INT. MOM’S HEADQUARTERS

All Mom’s Emotions are also painted.

MOM’S ANGER
Best idea he’s had in awhile.

MOM’S SADNESS
He’s a really good guy.

They all sigh. Mom’s Anger tosses the MEMORY of the Brazilian
helicopter pilot. Mom’s Fear retrieves it.

MOM’S FEAR
Just in case.
INSIDE OUT 128.

INT. HOCKEY RINK

Riley walks towards the ice and bumps into A TEEN BOY. He
drops his water bottle. She picks it up for him.

RILEY
Oh. Sorry!

She smiles.

ZOOM IN TO THE BOY’S HEAD.


INT. BOY’S HEADQUARTERS

A dirty, chaotic room. Stuff everywhere.

GIRL ALARM
GIRL! GIRL! GIRL!

WARNING LIGHTS ARE BLARING. His Emotions run around in a
panic, screaming. One of them is HUDDLED, CRYING.
Genres: ["Animation","Family","Comedy"]

Summary Riley's parents show up at the hockey rink with blue and green face paint to support her, embarrassing her. Meanwhile, in Riley's inner headquarters, her emotions watch her parents' actions with amusement. The scene then cuts to her parents' inner headquarters, where their emotions are also excited about the face paint. The scene ends with Riley bumping into a boy and dropping his water bottle, causing a panic in his inner headquarters where his emotions are overwhelmed by a girl's presence.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of humor and emotion
  • Insightful exploration of family dynamics
  • Engaging character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some cliched elements in the dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively blends humor, emotion, and character development, making it engaging and entertaining. The use of the hockey game as a backdrop adds a relatable and nostalgic element to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the inner workings of both Riley and her parents' Emotions during a hockey game is innovative and adds depth to the narrative. The scene effectively conveys the importance of family support and emotional growth.

Plot: 7

The plot revolves around Riley's experience at a hockey game and her interactions with her parents, showcasing the dynamics between them and the impact of core memories. The scene moves the story forward by highlighting key emotional moments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to depicting internal emotions through characters' interactions, and the authenticity of the dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, including Riley, her parents, and their Emotions, are well-developed and add depth to the scene. The interactions between the characters drive the emotional and comedic aspects of the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Riley experiences growth and self-reflection during the scene, particularly in her interactions with her parents and the Emotions. The moment of realization and acceptance of her parents' support marks a significant change in her perspective.

Internal Goal: 8

Riley's internal goal in this scene is to maintain her composure and not be embarrassed by her parents' enthusiastic support. It reflects her desire for independence and autonomy.

External Goal: 7

Riley's external goal is to focus on her hockey game and perform well. It reflects the immediate challenge of balancing her parents' support with her own performance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Riley's emotions and her interactions with her parents. The tension arises from the embarrassment Riley feels at her parents' enthusiastic support during the hockey game.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, adding depth to the characters' interactions.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on emotional growth and family dynamics rather than external conflicts or life-threatening situations. The emphasis is on personal development and relationships.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of Riley's emotional journey and the dynamics within her family. It sets the stage for further development and resolution in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected reactions and interactions between characters, keeping the audience intrigued.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between showing appreciation for parents' support and maintaining a sense of individuality. It challenges Riley's values of family loyalty and personal identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including joy, embarrassment, anxiety, and relief. The emotional depth adds resonance to the narrative and enhances the audience's connection to the characters.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotions and humor of the scene, capturing the essence of each character's personality. The interactions between the characters are engaging and add depth to the narrative.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the humorous dialogue, relatable family dynamics, and the unique visualization of characters' emotions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing the emotional moments with comedic elements, maintaining the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, transitioning smoothly between different settings and character perspectives.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus on Riley's emotions and inner turmoil, which is a missed opportunity to deepen the emotional impact of the story.
  • The transition between Riley's interactions with her parents at the hockey rink and the inner workings of their respective headquarters is abrupt and disjointed.
  • The dialogue between Riley's parents and their respective Emotions feels forced and lacks depth, failing to provide meaningful insights into their characters.
  • The scene lacks subtlety in portraying the emotions of the characters, with the Emotions in the parents' headquarters being too on-the-nose in their reactions.
  • The interaction between Riley and the teen boy at the hockey rink feels superficial and doesn't add much to the overall narrative.
Suggestions
  • Focus on exploring Riley's internal conflict and emotions during the hockey game, providing a deeper insight into her character development.
  • Consider a smoother transition between the external interactions at the hockey rink and the inner workings of the parents' and Riley's headquarters.
  • Develop more nuanced and layered dialogue for both the external interactions and the inner workings of the characters' headquarters.
  • Add subtlety and depth to the portrayal of the Emotions in the parents' headquarters, allowing for more complexity in their reactions.
  • Enhance the significance of Riley's interaction with the teen boy at the hockey rink by tying it more closely to her emotional journey and growth.



Scene 42 -  Riley's First Game
INT. HOCKEY RINK

The boy stands stunned, unable to speak. Riley hands him the
water bottle.

RILEY
Uhh... Ooooo-kay. Bye!

Riley skates out onto the ice, looking back over her
shoulder... with a hint of a smile?

HOCKEY TEAMMATE (O.S.)
All set, Riley?

She HIGH-FIVES a new teammate. They skate into position as
Mom and Dad cheer from the stands.


INT. HEADQUARTERS

Joy and Sadness stand side by side at the new console,
flanked by the others.

JOY
You ready?

SADNESS
Yeah!
INSIDE OUT 129.

JOY
Alright. Let’s play some hockey!

We ZOOM OUT of Riley’s head.


INT. HOCKEY RINK

Riley faces off. The puck drops.

JOY (O.S.)
All right Anger, take it!

ANGER (O.S.)
Give us that puck or you’re dead
meat!

Riley gets it!

FEAR (O.S.)
On our left! On our left!

An opponent steals the puck.

DISGUST (O.S.)
Let’s just try not to get all
smelly this time.

SADNESS (O.S.)
Hooh, Mom and Dad are watching us
fail.

ANGER (O.S.)
Not today!

Riley regains the puck and skates off with a smile.

JOY (V.O.)
We’ve been through a lot lately,
that’s for sure. But we still love
our girl. She has great new
friends, a great new house...
things couldn’t be better! After
all, Riley’s 12 now. What could
happen?




THE END.
Genres: ["Animation","Family","Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary Riley, a young girl starting a new life in a new city, finds herself on the ice, facing off in her first hockey game. Inside her head, her emotions, led by the optimistic Joy, work together to guide her through the game. Despite initial struggles, Riley regains the puck and skates off with a smile, reflecting her resilience and her positive outlook on her new life.
Strengths
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Well-developed characters
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Heartwarming resolution
Weaknesses
  • Moderate conflict level
  • Slightly predictable plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, heartwarming, and well-executed, with a good balance of humor, emotion, and character development.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring emotions and inner thoughts through characters in the mind world is innovative and well-developed.

Plot: 8

The plot is well-structured, with a clear goal of helping Riley navigate her emotions and find happiness.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original concept of depicting emotions as characters and exploring the internal conflict of a young girl through a hockey game. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined, with distinct personalities and growth throughout the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters experience growth and change, particularly in their understanding of emotions and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate her emotions and perform well in the hockey game despite feeling pressure and self-doubt. This reflects her deeper need for validation and acceptance.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to win the hockey game and prove herself to her teammates and parents. This reflects the immediate challenge she is facing in the game.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict, mainly internal and emotional, as the characters navigate their feelings and relationships.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and suspense, adding depth to the protagonist's journey.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderate, focusing more on emotional growth and personal relationships rather than external threats.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by resolving conflicts, deepening character relationships, and setting up future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions and outcomes between the emotions inside Riley's head and the external challenges she faces in the hockey game.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the emotions of joy, sadness, anger, fear, and disgust, each representing different value systems and perspectives on the situation. This challenges Riley's beliefs and values about herself and her abilities.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, with moments of joy, sadness, and heartwarming resolution that resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging, humorous, and reflective of the characters' personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines humor, emotion, and action to create a dynamic and compelling narrative.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and excitement, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome of the hockey game.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively transitioning between the physical world of the hockey rink and the internal world of Riley's emotions.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear resolution or climax, leaving the audience hanging with no sense of closure.
  • The dialogue between the Emotions inside Riley's head feels disconnected from the action on the ice, making it difficult to follow the emotional journey of the characters.
  • The transition between the inner headquarters and the hockey rink is abrupt and could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
  • There is a missed opportunity to show Riley's growth or development through her actions on the ice, which could have added depth to her character.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual cues or descriptions to help the audience visualize the action and emotions of the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of triumph or realization for Riley on the ice to give the scene a more satisfying conclusion.
  • Integrate the dialogue of the Emotions inside Riley's head more seamlessly with the action on the ice to create a stronger emotional connection for the audience.
  • Smooth out the transition between the inner headquarters and the hockey rink by using visual cues or a narrative device to link the two settings.
  • Showcase Riley's growth or development through her actions on the ice, highlighting how her experiences have shaped her character.
  • Enhance the visual elements of the scene by describing the surroundings, emotions, and actions in more detail to create a vivid and engaging picture for the audience.