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Scene Map 42
# PG SLUGLINE
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Scene Map
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# PG SLUGLINE
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EXT. LOS ANGELES STREETS / INDUSTRIAL AREA - MORNING Establishing shots of office buildings, landmarks such as The Crypto.com Arena, Dodger Stadium, the downtown skyline, various street signs, Hollywood Blvd., Crenshaw, Rodeo Dr. etc.
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EXT. CITY STREET / LOS ANGELES - LATER Bert checks his 1970’s analog watch: 7:30, as he crosses to a city bus stop. A few beats later a bus arrives, and Bert climbs the stairs. INT. CITY BUS - MOMENTS LATER
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INT. OFFICE BUILDING - MOMENTS LATER Boss-Man closes the front door. Bert, Nestor and Dale enter and look around the deserted and dusty office building. Two WHITE MEN in suits appear from a back room, toting
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EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - MOMENTS LATER Boss-Man produces his iPhone and dials while crossing to his sportscar. BOSS-MAN (into phone)
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EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - DAY TO NIGHT TIME LAPSE of the skyline and the office building as the sun moves from east to west, long shadows, along with an increase of fireworks in the b.g. as day turns to night. MUSIC CONTINUES: “I get around”
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INT. MINI-VAN - LATER - NIGHT Nestor drives. Bert sits in the passenger seat with a bouquet of flowers on his lap. Dale sits in the rear. They pass a group of YOUNG KIDS with sparklers on the corner. BERT
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EXT. CITY STREET / BERT’S HOUSE - NIGHT Bert watches the mini-van pull away. BANG!!! 16. An M-80 firecracker explodes across the street. Bert ducks as
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EXT. CITY STREET - CONTINUOUS The KIDS, TEENS and a few ADULTS outside, react to the sudden pops that don’t quite sound like fireworks. TEEN Somebody’s shootin’.
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INT. BERT'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Bert, in dis-belief, eyes his phone and the picture of him and his wife, Felicia, embraced, on the screensaver. BERT (utters)
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EXT. BERT'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Nestor and Dale stand at the front door. NESTOR Stop fuckin’ around and open the door, Bert.
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INT. BERT'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Nestor sits on the sofa. Dale stands. NESTOR So where is she? (off Bert’s pause)
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INT. MINA’S CAR - CONTINUOUS Mina eyes Bert’s front door and the commotion going on inside. She cranes her neck to get a better view, but then the front door closes. INT. BERT'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
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INT. MINA'S CAR - CONTINUOUS Mina eyes a picture of Boss-Man on her phone as we hear his phone ring via the speakerphone. MINA (utters)
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EXT. BERT'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - CONTINUOUS Mina, toting her purse and phone, pounds on the front door. MINA Reginald Carter! I know you’re in there!
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EXT. THE BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS Bert opens the backdoor and sprints from the house, scampering over a neighbor’s fence. EXT. FRONT PORCH - CONTINUOUS Mina steps away from the door.
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EXT. A FEW BLOCKS AWAY - CONTINUOUS Bert sprints through an alley and around a corner with Boss- Man’s phone in his hand. Huffing and puffing, Bert eyes a few RESIDENTS, lighting fireworks.
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INT. MINA’S CAR - CONTINUOUS Mina exits the car and watches as the small pick-up truck draws near. INT. BERT'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS All three men, peer out of the front window.
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EXT. CITY STREET - CONTINUOUS Hector, the driver of the pick-up, exits and curiously eyes Mina making a phone call. HECTOR Can I help you?
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EXT. CITY STREET - MINA’S CAR - CONTINUOUS Mina opens the trunk of her car and retrieves a pair of sneakers and puts them on. MINA (utters)
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EXT. DARK SKIES OVER THE CITY - NIGHT A fireworks show splashes on the screen for a few beats. INT. BERT’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - LATER Bert sits in the center of the sofa, checks his watch, it reads: 9:00
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EXT. BERT’S HOUSE - CITY STREET - CONTINUOUS Neighbors continue to light fireworks. Two sets of headlights turn the corner and slowly drive down the street. The cars, classic low-riders, with two Latino GANG MEMBERS in
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EXT. NON-DESCRIPT BUSINESS LOCATION - DAY CHYRON: THREE YEARS AGO Bert and Boss-Man, both wearing a typical blue shirt and khakis, janitorial wear, stand in front of the building with signage that reads: R & B Janitorial (GRAND OPENING)
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INT. BERT'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Same positions. Bert eyes Mina. MINA This is ridiculous. Why are you re- hashing all of this?
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INT. BERT'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Mina, heavy sigh, folds her arms. BERT I was upset. MINA
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INT. BERT'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Mina, impatient, arms folded, eyes Bert and then Nestor and Dale. MINA You two ain’t got nothin’ to say?
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EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT People are still out lighting fireworks and milling about. ANGLE ON: A stroller being pushed by Hector down a driveway, onto the sidewalk and to his pick-up truck parked at the curb.
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INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER Bert and Mina stand on opposite sides of the bed, gazing down at Felicia and Boss-Man’s lifeless bodies. BERT You’re not upset?
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INT. BERT'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Nestor and Dale sit on the sofa, still nursing their wounds as Bert enters with his heart on his sleeve. BERT I thought you two would be out of
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INT. BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS Mina eyes Boss-Man, his BM necklace and Felicia’s lifeless body. MINA (utters)
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INT. HECTOR'S HOUSE - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Hector, toting his baby in a blanket, crosses to the living room, but stops once he eyes the four Gangsters doing push- ups, feign fighting, and prepare for warfare. Vera sits at the head of the table, smoking a cigarette.
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INT. HECTOR'S HOUSE - BABY’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS Hector hums softly into his sleeping baby’s ear before placing her in the crib. After a couple beats, he turns to a nearby window, opens it, and climbs out. EXT. HECTOR'S HOUSE - FRONT YARD - CONTINUOUS
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INT. BERT’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Mina finds her purse, and pulls out her phone. MINA I’m working on it. BOSS-MAN (O.S.)
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EXT. BERT'S HOUSE - BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS Bert ushers Hector away from the backdoor. HECTOR They’re coming, Mr. Bert. You have to go.
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INT. BERT'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM Nestor and Dale watch from the open door. DALE Maybe we should sneak out the back? NESTOR
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INT. THE BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS Vera enters to see the bloody sheets, blood splatter on the wall and then Felicia’s naked body lying out of sight, on the other side of the bed. 87.
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EXT. BERT'S HOUSE - BACKYARD - MOMENTS LATER Delores, Boss-Man and Mina stand on one side, Vera on the other. In the middle, squaring off, is Bert and Julio. They stare each other down before Julio turns and crosses to Vera.
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INT. BERT'S HOUSE - THE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Dale struggles to remove the masking tape from Nestor’s mouth with his wrists still zip-tied. DALE (muffled)
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INT. BERT'S HOUSE - THE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Nestor and Dale, now de-muffled, eye Mina’s purse on the counter a few feet away. NESTOR (re: Powerball ticket)
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INT. THE LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS We see from behind, the two bleeding bullet holes in the lower outer region of Felicia’s back, and then one near her shoulder, as she stumbles about, knocking over a few pictures and cutting her foot on the broken glass coffee table. She
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INT. THE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS The bullet crashes through the kitchen window and the shards fall around Nestor and Dale on the floor. 105. Felicia, startled by the pop of the gun and the broken glass,
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INT. THE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS From Nestor and Dales POV on the floor we see the spotlight illuminating everyone in the backyard and the purse still on the kitchen counter. EXT. THE BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS
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INT. BERT'S HOUSE - THE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Nestor and Dale, now standing and being detained by POLICE OFFICERS, gaze into the back yard and watch Bert and Mina kiss under the spotlight. NESTOR

Numbers Up 5-13-24

A janitor who wins the Powerball finds himself in a deadly game of deceit after accidentally killing his wife's lover.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

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Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 45% Crime 35% Thriller 30% Action 25% Romance 20% Comedy 15%

Setting: Contemporary, Suburban cul-de-sac in Los Angeles

Themes: Betrayal, Deception, Greed, Infidelity, Power, Family

Conflict & Stakes: The primary conflicts revolve around betrayal, infidelity, power struggles, and the consequences of past actions. The stakes include relationships falling apart, lives being endangered, and the characters' moral compass being tested.

Mood: Tense and suspenseful, with moments of emotional intensity and dramatic confrontations

Standout Features:

  • Complex Character Dynamics: The intricate relationships and conflicts between the characters drive the narrative forward.
  • Twists and Turns: The screenplay is filled with unexpected plot twists that keep the audience engaged.
  • Emotional Depth: The story delves into deep emotional themes, adding layers of complexity to the characters and their arcs.

Comparable Scripts: American Beauty, Crash, Magnolia, Short Cuts, The Ice Storm, Little Children, Revolutionary Road, The Hours

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

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Overall Score: 6.90
Story Critique
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Characters
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Emotional Analysis

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Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.
Themes
Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.
Logic & Inconsistencies
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Scene Analysis

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Scene-Level Percentile Chart
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Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice
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Writer's Craft
Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building
Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.
Correlations
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Loglines
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