Severance
Executive Summary
Pass/Consider/Recommend/Highly Recommend
Overview
Genres: Thriller, Action, Drama, Comedy, Satire, Dark, comedy, Adventure, Horror, Mystery, Survival
Setting: Present day, Urban city
Overview: The screenplay shows strong character development, engaging conflicts, and thematic depth. However, there are pacing issues and opportunities for deeper emotional resonance.
Themes: Survival, Ethics, Betrayal, Isolation, Mortality
Conflict and Stakes: John's struggle to clear his name after being falsely accused of a crime, with his career and reputation at stake
Overall Mood: Tense and suspenseful
Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:
- Scene 5: Intense courtroom scene with high stakes and emotional tension
- Scene 10: Quiet moment of reflection as John contemplates his next move
Standout Features:
- Twist Ending: A shocking revelation in the final act that changes everything
- Unique Setting : The urban cityscape adds a gritty and realistic backdrop to the story
- Complex Characters : Each character has layers and depth that keep the audience engaged
Comparable Scripts:
Market Analysis
Budget Estimate:$10-15 million
Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 25-54, fans of legal dramas and suspense thrillers
Marketability: Strong central conflict and relatable themes that appeal to a wide audience
Compelling characters and a gripping storyline with potential for critical acclaim
Timely social themes and a diverse cast that can attract a broad audience
Profit Potential: Moderate to high, with potential for strong box office performance and awards recognition
Scene Level Percentiles
Writer's Voice
Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by sarcastic and satirical humor, dark humor and irony, witty banter, naturalistic dialogue, and a focus on tension-building and suspense.
Best representation: Scene 34 - Escape from the Lodge. Scene 34 is the best representation of the author's voice because it showcases the writer's darkly comedic and sarcastic dialogue. The dialogue adds a humorous element to the tense situation and effectively builds tension.
Memorable Lines:
- Maggie: There is a pack of psychotic war criminals fucked up on electro-shock treatment and medication right behind us, and very soon they will come through that door, rip off our heads, and shit down our necks. So if you have any more questions, maybe they can wait until we have GOT THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! NOW MOVE YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS OR I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF! (Scene 35)
- Deer: Now get out of my forest. Fucking druggie. (Scene 10)
- Steve: Bugger me sideways. (Scene 8)
- Gareth: I forgive you... (Scene 30)
- Steve: Got you, you fucker! (Scene 32)
Story Shape
Emotions Elicited
Recommend
Executive Summary
The screenplay for 'Severance' is a well-crafted thriller that follows a group of corporate employees who become trapped in a remote, dangerous location and must fight for their survival against a group of psychotic, former-military antagonists. The screenplay features strong character development, intense action sequences, and thought-provoking themes around the ethics of the arms industry. While the pacing could be tightened in places and some narrative elements could be further developed, the overall screenplay is a compelling and engaging read that would make for a compelling film adaptation.
- The scene where Billy takes charge and rallies the remaining group members showcases strong leadership skills and a determination to survive, which is a compelling character arc. high ( Scene 12 (INT. LODGE MAIN ROOM - NIGHT) )
- The scene where Maggie confronts George with the harsh reality of the situation and forces him to cooperate demonstrates her strong-willed and no-nonsense personality, which is a refreshing contrast to the more passive characters. high ( Scene 33 (EXT. FOREST CLEARING - DAY) )
- The final sequence where Maggie and Steve fight for their survival against the last hunter showcases intense, well-choreographed action sequences that are both thrilling and emotionally impactful. high ( Scene 36 (EXT. TANGLED FOREST - DAY) Scene 37 (EXT. LAKE - DAY) )
- The scenes exploring the backstories and character motivations of the supporting cast, such as Jill's anxiety issues and Richard's personal struggles, add depth and nuance to the ensemble. medium ( Scene 11 (INT. JILL'S ROOM - NIGHT) Scene 12 (INT. LODGE MAIN ROOM - NIGHT) )
- The introductory scenes that establish the ensemble cast and their dynamics provide a strong foundation for the rest of the narrative. medium ( Scene 2 (INT. MINIBUS - DAY) Scene 3 (INT. MINIBUS - DAY) )
- The pacing in the early scenes could be tightened to maintain a stronger sense of forward momentum and keep the audience engaged. medium ( Scene 4 (INT. MINIBUS - DAY) Scene 5 (INT. MINIBUS - DAY) )
- The passage of time and transitions between scenes could be more clearly delineated to avoid any confusion for the audience. medium ( Scene 9 (INT. LODGE MAIN ROOM - NIGHT) Scene 10 (INT. LODGE CELLAR - NIGHT) )
- The subplot involving Jill's disappearance and potential fate could be better integrated and foreshadowed throughout the earlier portions of the screenplay. medium ( Scene 17 (EXT. ROAD TO LODGE - DAY) Scene 18 (EXT. FORK IN ROAD - DAY) )
- The opening sequence that establishes the main conflict and sets up the larger narrative could be expanded upon to provide more context and a stronger inciting incident. medium ( Scene 1 (SEVERANCE) )
- The scenes involving Gareth's fate and the mysterious figure in the cellar could be further developed to provide more insight into the antagonist's motivations and backstory. medium ( Scene 26 (INT. UNKNOWN - NIGHT) Scene 27 (INT. LODGE MAIN ROOM - NIGHT) )
- The scene where the group discusses the morality of Palisade Defense's business practices raises thought-provoking questions about the ethics of the arms industry and the responsibility of individuals within it. high ( Scene 9 (INT. LODGE MAIN ROOM - NIGHT) )
- The scenes that explore the group's dynamics and interpersonal relationships, such as the tension between Billy and Richard or the growing bond between Jill and Maggie, add emotional depth to the narrative. medium ( Scene 12 (INT. LODGE MAIN ROOM - NIGHT) Scene 16 (INT. JILL'S ROOM - NIGHT) )
- The twist where the group discovers that George and the others have been at a separate, more luxurious lodge the entire time adds an unexpected layer of irony and commentary on corporate culture. high ( Scene 34 (EXT. FOREST CLEARING - DAY) Scene 35 (INT. FANCY LODGE MAIN ROOM - DAY) )
Screenplay Insights:
Premise: 8.25, The screenplay's premise effectively establishes a clear and intriguing narrative foundation. The screenplay's execution remains unexplored in this analysis based on the provided details; therefore, feedback on this aspect cannot be provided. See More
Structure: 7.5, Overall, the screenplay has a solid narrative structure and an engaging plot, delivering an effective horror experience. It successfully utilizes elements of isolation, mystery, and tension to build suspense and maintain audience interest. However, certain plot aspects could be refined to enhance clarity and pacing. See More
Theme: 8.25, The screenplay effectively explores themes of morality, survival, and self-sacrifice, with a strong focus on character development and exploration of ethical dilemmas. Key messages about the consequences of unethical corporate practices and the importance of resilience and camaraderie are communicated with clarity and emotional impact throughout the narrative. While the themes are relevant and well-integrated, some aspects of the messaging could be further refined for enhanced depth and resonance with the audience. See More
Visual Impact: , The screenplay effectively establishes a foundation for visual storytelling, presenting clear and impactful descriptions that aid in visualizing the scenes. However, some opportunities for enhancing creativity, vividness, and emotional depth exist, which could elevate the visual impact of the narrative. See More
Emotional Impact: 6.5, The screenplay effectively sets up an atmosphere of unease and mystery, and there are several scenes that could potentially elicit strong emotional responses from the audience. However, the emotional depth and resonance of the script could be enhanced by further developing the character arcs and exploring the emotional complexities of their relationships. See More
Conflict: 8.0, The screenplay effectively presents conflict and stakes, engaging the audience through intense survival struggles and the characters' ethical dilemmas. However, it could further capitalize on the conflict's potential by enhancing its clarity, escalating the stakes, and refining the resolution. See More
Originality: 8/10, The screenplay offers some refreshing elements of originality in its narrative, characters, and execution. The dynamic between the characters while trapped in a dangerous situation and the exploration of their personal struggles and secrets are particularly well-crafted. See More
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Summaries
- A man and two women are chased through a forest by an unknown pursuer. The man abandons the women when they fall into a bear pit. Later, the man is shown to be an executive at an arms company.
- A group of employees from an arms company watch a corporate video that promotes the company's weapons. Gareth, Richard and Harris are excited about the crass and offensive imagery, while Maggie finds it disgusting.
- Employees at an arms company watch and discuss a crass corporate video, leading to a tense discussion about the ethics of their work. The scene ends with the minibus driving past a dead dog by the side of the road.
- The employees of an arms company ride in a minibus through a bleak landscape, discussing the crass corporate video they just watched and worrying about the ethics of their work. Richard reveals his concern about a military coup in Liberia that may jeopardize the company's deal for cluster bombs.
- The employees of an arms company ride in a minibus through a bleak landscape, discussing the crass corporate video they just watched and worrying about the ethics of their work. When they encounter a landslide blocking their way, tensions rise as Richard tries to convince the driver to take an alternate route.
- The minibus transporting the employees of an arms company encounters a landslide. Richard tries to convince the driver to take an alternate route while his colleagues express their discontent. Meanwhile, someone watches them through the crosshairs of a rifle.
- The group treks along a dark and foreboding road, with Jill unequipped for the journey. They discuss the possibility of bears in the area. Steve disappears as they hear a snap in the forest. Harris leads a search team with Maggie and Billy, while Richard stays behind with Jill and Gareth.
- The group of employees of an arms company try to navigate through difficult terrain and find themselves lost in the woods. Steve goes off to relieve himself and finds something unexpected while the group arrives at a lodge that shocks them all.
- The employees of an arms company arrive at their lodge where tensions rise due to the lack of amenities and communication. Richard attempts to motivate and inspire the team but is met with skepticism. Meanwhile, a mysterious figure is spying on them from the woods.
- Steve takes drugs while wandering the woods and encounters a talking deer. Harris explores the lodge cellar and finds files with a military insignia. Richard tidies his office and orders Billy to clean up.
- Harris finds a plastic skeleton and brings it into the main room, where Steve is seduced by Maggie. However, things quickly turn surreal and frightening for Steve, and he runs out of the room. The scene then cuts to Steve switching rooms with Gareth and the falling of night, adding to the already ominous atmosphere.
- The group of employees eat and chat while the rain pours outside. Harris tells a creepy story about the lodge's past, while Jill disputes it and adds her own, even darker twist. Steve has a frightening hallucination and Jill shares her medication routine with him. The scene ends with Billy's fascination and a soldier covered in blood.
- The employees tell scary stories about the lodge's past, including a gruesome tale told by Jill about Palisade's detention centers. Steve denies it and tells his own exaggerated version. The group eats dinner, but an unexpected tooth in Steve's pie causes fear and paranoia to take over.
- The group of employees get ready for bed while discussing Palisade's questionable past. Billy and Maggie flirt while Steve feels left out. Gareth decorates his creepy room with motivational postcards. Harris works out and reads books on survival and sales. Steve tries to join in on the conversation about Marmite, only to be ignored.
- Jill has a terrifying hallucination and the group discovers muddy footprints in her room. Harris and some others go outside to investigate, but find nothing suspicious. The scene ends with a mysterious figure watching them from the edge of the clearing.
- The group investigates mysterious footprints in Jill's room, leading to tension over whether to leave the lodge. Jill has a scary hallucination, drops pills, and is comforted by Maggie. Billy and Harris barricade themselves in, while Richard threatens those who leave with consequences. Jill and Maggie make amends.
- The morning after the spooky stories, the group prepares to leave but is divided on whether to stay or go. Harris and Jill decide to venture out for help while the rest of the group prepares to stay behind and play team games.
- Jill and Harris try to find their way back to civilization, while Billy and Steve play paintball and Maggie hides from them.
- Jill and Harris come across the abandoned minibus. There's blood splattered on the ground and the driver is missing. Harris finds the keys in the ignition and gets the bus started. Jill is upset and afraid, wondering what happened to the driver.
- Steve, Richard, Billy, and Maggie play paintball while Jill and Harris search for help. Gareth steps into a bear trap and the group struggles to get it off him, resulting in gruesome consequences.
- The group finds themselves trapped in a clearing surrounded by bear traps, and must contend with Gareth's severe leg injury. Jill takes charge and uses a tourniquet to stop the bleeding, while Billy and Steve make inappropriate jokes. Harris suggests cauterizing the wound and starts a fire, while Maggie tries to find a first aid kit.
- The group discovers the remains of a chopped-up driver at the lodge and must quickly leave, with Harris going back to retrieve the passports. They struggle to start the minibus and escape the clearing surrounded by bear traps, all while dealing with Gareth's gruesome leg injury.
- The group's minibus suffers a catastrophic accident and they are left battered, bruised, and stranded. They must contend with the aftermath of the crash, attempting to care for wounded friend Gareth and dealing with the death of Harris. Meanwhile, Jill wanders away from the group, concussed and confused. Billy steps up to lead the group, determined to get them to safety.
- The group returns to the lodge after a series of traumatic events. They are injured and scared, barricading themselves inside. They plan to leave in the morning and start walking to safety.
- The group tries to make the best of their situation by gathering what limited weapons they have and taking turns to keep watch. They tend to Gareth's injury and try to keep his pain under control with pills.
- Gareth wakes up from his pills-induced haze and senses someone watching him through the window. He sees a reflection of a figure behind him and quickly becomes incapacitated by fear, unable to move or scream. He is then dragged away to an unknown location.
- Billy wakes up and notices that Gareth is missing. He believes he might be up to something nefarious and convinces the group to search the lodge for him. Meanwhile, Gareth is bound and gagged in an unknown location and is being questioned by an unknown figure. The group splits up and searches the lodge, finding nothing.
- The group searches the lodge for Gareth, discovering clues that he may have been abducted. Richard's personal struggles are revealed, and Steve and Richard's shoes are found to be covered in blood.
- The group discovers a bloodstain and trapdoor leading to a disturbing medical treatment room where they find evidence of Palisade's atrocities, including a dead man strapped to an electro-shock chair. They realize that Gareth may have been abducted by the same 'alien' they saw earlier, and tensions rise as they try to find a way out.
- The gang tries to escape the lodge after witnessing Gareth's brutal murder by the hunter. Richard manages to escape through a hidden tunnel, while Steve hides in Jill's room and Maggie plays a game of cat-and-mouse with the hunter in the spare bedroom.
- Steve, Maggie, and the hunter have a violent confrontation in Jill's room, resulting in a massive fire and the floor collapsing beneath them.
- Steve and Maggie take down the hunter and try to escape the burning lodge. They debate whether or not to kill the unconscious hunter before ultimately leaving him behind. They also come to terms with the loss of Jill and thank Billy for protecting them.
- Maggie and Steve are chased by hunters through the burning lodge and into the woods, where they fight off one of the hunter's dogs. They eventually make it to a fort clearing.
- Maggie and Steve escape the lodge and make it to a forest clearing where they meet Richard. Richard is standing on a landmine and cannot move. Meanwhile, Hunter 2 is on their trail and will stop at nothing to catch them.
- Maggie and Steve lead a group of survivors out of a burning lodge, but are hunted by deranged hunters. They split up and face their own obstacles, with Maggie getting caught in a trap and Steve losing cell reception.
- Maggie hangs from a wire and speaks to Steve on the phone while trying to avoid the hunters, who kill George. Steve wants to come and get her, but Maggie tells him to leave for his own safety. The hunter approaches Maggie but is stopped by Steve, who kills him with a branch. Maggie is saved, and they share a moment before leaving.
- Maggie and Steve face off against the hunter, with Maggie ultimately defeating him by impaling him with a motor. Steve is injured but they are both victorious.
- Maggie and Steve escape the hunters and joke about suing the company. They share a moment in the boat, covered in blood and battered. As they approach a waterfall, they both accept their fate.
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
---|---|---|---|
Gareth | Through his journey, Gareth starts as the ultimate comic relief before slowly changing into a more serious and grounded character. He loses his naivety and gains a better understanding of the gravity of their situation. Sadly, he meets a tragic end, but his positivity and optimism serve as a reminder of the good things in life. | While Gareth is a likable character, his arc feels somewhat shallow, with his development only occurring towards the end of the movie. Additionally, his death feels like a cheap way to add stakes to the story. | To improve Gareth's arc, the script could make his development more gradual throughout the movie. Additionally, his death could be given more weight and meaning, perhaps as a sacrifice to save the other characters. This would add an emotional punch to his story and make his arc feel more cohesive. |
Maggie | Maggie starts out as a principled and outspoken woman who is disgusted by her company's practices and skeptical of the team-building weekend at the lodge. She takes charge of some of the decision-making and demonstrates strong leadership qualities. As the movie progresses, Maggie becomes more comfortable with using her sexuality to get what she wants, but realizes she does not have as much power as she thought. Maggie reconciles with Jill and admits her temper issues, displaying a nurturing side and valuing friendship over grudges. She becomes a quick-thinking and pragmatic survivor, willing to do whatever it takes to protect herself and others. However, her past trauma has left her with a dark streak and willingness to kill, which she struggles to come to terms with. In the end, Maggie shows great resilience, determination, and bravery as she fights to survive and protect others from the hunters. | Overall, Maggie undergoes a well-developed character arc that highlights her strengths and weaknesses. However, her seductive and manipulative side is not explored in depth, and this aspect of her personality is sometimes used only as a plot device. Additionally, some of her traits and actions seem inconsistent or underdeveloped, such as her level of involvement in some scenes or her withdrawal from the group. Finally, her past trauma is not fully explored or resolved, which leaves some questions unanswered. | To improve Maggie's character arc, it could be useful to explore more in-depth her seductive and manipulative side, addressing whether this is a coping mechanism or a personality trait. Additionally, her reactions and reasoning in some scenes could be more explicitly stated to avoid inconsistencies or doubts about her characterization. Finally, delving deeper into her past trauma could provide greater insight into her motivations and actions, leading to a more cohesive and satisfying arc. |
Richard | Throughout the screenplay, Richard's character arc revolves around his redemption and realization of the consequences of his actions. At first, Richard is portrayed as a selfish and condescending executive who only cares about his business deals and impressing his colleagues. However, as the group finds themselves in a life-threatening situation, Richard's leadership skills are tested, and he realizes the value of humility, accountability, and transparency. His vulnerable moment with Steve shows his ability to connect with others on a deeper level, which ultimately leads to his redemption. In the end, Richard's character arc ends with him accepting responsibility for his past mistakes and working towards creating a more ethical company culture. | The character arc is well-defined and provides a clear direction for Richard's growth throughout the screenplay. However, some of the descriptions of Richard's behavior are quite similar, making his character appear repetitive. It would be beneficial to highlight his redeeming moments more prominently, to provide a stronger payoff for his character arc. | To improve the character arc, more emphasis could be placed on Richard's growth towards accepting responsibility for his past mistakes. This could be achieved through showing Richard's attempts to rectify the harm caused by his actions or taking a leading role in creating a more ethical company culture. Additionally, the descriptions of Richard's snobby behavior could be toned down in favor of more moments that highlight his vulnerability and emotional depth. |
Harris | Harris starts as a sophisticated and passive employee who defends the company's work. As the movie progresses, he becomes more confident, quick-witted, and takes charge in scary situations. However, his sadistic, playful side emerges, stoking fear in the group, and he becomes mysterious and possibly untrustworthy. Harris ultimately asserts his dominance in the group, standing up to Richard and leaving to get help. Despite being level-headed and practical, Harris's tragic death underscores the seriousness of the group's situation. | The character arc is well-defined, showing a clear progression from a passive employee to a confident, take-charge survivor. However, some aspects of Harris's character feel underdeveloped, such as his sadistic and mysterious side, which comes across as sudden and unexplained. Additionally, his death feels somewhat abrupt and doesn't resolve his character arc. | To improve the character arc, the movie could provide more context and backstory for Harris, such as why he enjoys unsettling others and his survivalist mentality. His death could also be more impactful if it resolved his character arc, such as sacrificing himself to protect Jill or the group. Overall, the movie could benefit from more nuanced and consistent characterization for Harris. |
Steve | Steve begins the movie as a cynical and hostile employee who dislikes his job and colleagues. Throughout the film, he struggles with addiction, paranoia, and low self-esteem, which often make him a liability to the group. However, as the danger increases, he shows courage, resourcefulness, and care for his friends, especially Maggie. By the end of the movie, Steve has transformed into a tough and resourceful survivor who is willing to do whatever it takes to protect those he cares about. | While Steve's character arc is well-defined and engaging, it would be helpful to have more information about his past to understand his addiction and paranoia better. Additionally, some of Steve's behaviors, such as making inappropriate jokes and trying to sabotage romantic interludes, are inconsistent with his growth later in the movie. | To improve Steve's character arc, it would be helpful to provide more information about his past to explain his addiction and paranoia. Additionally, some of Steve's negative behaviors could be toned down to make his transformation more believable. Finally, giving Steve some moments of emotional vulnerability would add depth to his character and make his growth more compelling. |
Jill | Jill's character arc begins with her questioning the ethics of the company and providing a counterpoint to Richard's arguments. Throughout the movie, she struggles with her health and anxiety, but also displays strong leadership qualities and resourcefulness during emergencies. However, her vulnerability is shown when she becomes tied up and tortured. By the end of the movie, Jill has learned to rely on her own strength and bravery instead of her medication and fears. | Jill's character arc is well-defined and shows a clear progression of growth and development. However, because there are so many different elements to her character, it can be difficult to keep track of her motivations and actions throughout the movie. Additionally, her dark tendencies towards the macabre are not fully explored or explained, leaving the audience with questions about her character. | To improve Jill's character arc, the filmmakers could provide more backstory or exposition about her dark tendencies towards the macabre. Additionally, they could give her more moments of vulnerability and introspection to make her character more relatable. Lastly, they could clarify her motivations and actions throughout the movie to make her character more coherent. |
Theme | Theme Details | Themee Explanation |
---|---|---|
Survival |
| Survival is a major theme throughout the screenplay as the characters are constantly fighting to stay alive in a dangerous and hostile environment. This theme is explored through their struggles to escape bear traps, find weapons, and evade the hunter who is tracking them. The characters are forced to rely on their survival skills and instincts in order to make it out alive. |
Ethics |
| Ethics is an important theme throughout the screenplay as the characters grapple with the consequences of their actions. They are employed by a company that creates deadly weapons and must confront the moral implications of their work. The theme is explored through their debates and discussions about their employer's activities, as well as their reactions to the atrocities they discover at the lodge. |
Betrayal |
| Betrayal is a recurring theme throughout the screenplay as the characters turn on each other and struggle to trust one another. Richard, in particular, betrays the women in the bear pit and is later revealed to have forced the team building exercise upon them. The theme is explored through the group's tense and often combative interactions, as well as their struggles to work together and trust each other. |
Isolation |
| Isolation is a significant theme throughout the screenplay as the characters are cut off from society and struggle to find a way out. They are stranded in a remote wilderness, with no means of communication or escape, which leads to feelings of fear and paranoia. The theme is explored through their attempts to find a way out, as well as their increasingly desperate actions as they face the danger and uncertainty of their situation. |
Mortality |
| Mortality is a significant theme throughout the screenplay as the characters are constantly faced with the fragility of life and the reality of death. They witness numerous deaths throughout the story and are forced to confront their own mortality as they struggle to survive in a hostile environment. The theme is explored through their reactions to death and their struggles to find meaning and value in life amidst the chaos and danger around them. |
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
Site | Description |
---|---|
Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
---|---|
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
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internal Goals | The protagonist's internal goal is to survive and navigate the dangerous situation they find themselves in. Their fear, discomfort, and desire for safety and security are reflected in their actions and reactions throughout the script. |
External Goals | The protagonist's external goal is to endure the challenges and obstacles they face, such as reaching their destination, escaping danger, and ultimately surviving. They are driven by the need to protect themselves and their companions, and to find help and safety. |
Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of morality, ethics, and the impact of one's actions. The protagonist and other characters are faced with dilemmas that challenge their values and beliefs, such as the ethical implications of their work, the blurred lines between reality and fantasy, and the tension between survival and morality. |
Character Development Contribution: The goals and conflicts contribute to the character's development by challenging their beliefs and values, and forcing them to confront their fears, insecurities, and moral dilemmas. The protagonist undergoes a transformation as they navigate the challenges, make difficult choices, and learn to prioritize survival and the well-being of their companions.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The goals and conflicts provide the narrative structure by creating tension, raising stakes, and driving the plot forward. They serve as catalysts for action and create obstacles that the characters must overcome, leading to a climax and resolution. The evolving goals and conflicts create a sense of urgency and propel the story towards its conclusion.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflicts contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring themes such as morality, ethics, survival, human nature, and the impact of one's choices. They raise thought-provoking questions about the nature of right and wrong, the value of life, and the limits of human resilience. The exploration of these themes adds depth and complexity to the story, making it resonate with audiences on a deeper level.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
Site | Description |
---|---|
Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
---|---|
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall | Concept | Plot | Originality | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
1 - SEVERANCE | "Suspenseful" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 7 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 10 | 9 | 0 | 7 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |
2 - Corporate Video Excitement | "sarcastic" | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 4 | 8 | 7 | 5 | 0 | 4 | 5 | 0 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | |
3 - Corporate Ethics Discussion | "Tense" | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 0 | 8 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | |
4 - Arms Dealers Ride to a Trade Show | "Tense, with moments of crass humor" | 8 | 7 | 7 | 5 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 0 | 6 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | |
5 - Blocked Road | "Tense" | 7 | 6 | 7 | 2 | 7 | 5 | 2 | 8 | 8 | 0 | 6 | 6 | 0 | 6 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 8 | |
6 - The Fallout of the Corporate Video | "Tense" | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 3 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 0 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 10 | |
7 - Lost in the Woods | "tense and suspenseful" | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 10 | |
8 - Lost and Found | "darkly humorous" | 7 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 6 | 3 | 0 | 7 | 5 | 0 | 4 | 7 | 0 | 4 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | |
9 - The Lodge | "tense" | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 0 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | |
10 - Paranoia in the Woods | "Tense, Dark" | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 4 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 6 | 7 | 0 | 6 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | |
11 - Skeletons and Seduction | "Tense, with moments of humor" | 8 | 7 | 8 | 5 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 0 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | |
12 - The Lodge's Dark Past | "Tense" | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 3 | 0 | 5 | 4 | 0 | 5 | 5 | 0 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 10 | 8 | |
13 - Dinner with Detention Centers | "ominous" | 8 | 9 | 8 | 4 | 7 | 6 | 0 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 8 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | |
14 - Nighttime Preparations | "Darkly humorous" | 8 | 7 | 7 | 5 | 9 | 4 | 0 | 8 | 4 | 0 | 4 | 5 | 0 | 5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | |
15 - Nighttime Paranoid Hallucinations | "Tense" | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 5 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 6 | 0 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | |
16 - Nighttime Tensions | "Tense" | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 9 | |
17 - Morning Departure | "tense" | 7 | 7 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 4 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 0 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 8 | |
18 - Escape Attempts | "Suspenseful" | 8 | 8 | 8 | 5 | 7 | 3 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 0 | 7 | 7 | 0 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | |
19 - The Abandoned Bus | "Tense" | 8 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 8 | 0 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 10 | 9 | |
20 - Bear Trap | "chaotic, comedic, and gruesome" | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 3 | 0 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 10 | 7 | 0 | 6 | 5 | 7 | 8 | 10 | 10 | |
21 - Trapped in the Clearing | "Tense" | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 10 | 8 | 0 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
22 - Escape from the Lodge | "Intense" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 10 | 10 | 0 | 10 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
23 - Crash and Burn | "Tense, Suspenseful" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 0 | 10 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | |
24 - Trapped in the Lodge | "Tense" | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 10 | 7 | 0 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
25 - Surviving the Night | "tense" | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 7 | 0 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | |
26 - Gareth is Dragged Away | "Suspenseful" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 2 | 7 | 9 | 0 | 10 | 8 | 0 | 10 | 5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | |
27 - The Search for Gareth | "Tense" | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | |
28 - The Hunted | "Tense, ominous" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 0 | 10 | 9 | 0 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | |
29 - The Cellar Discovery | "Suspenseful" | 9 | 9 | 10 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 0 | 10 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | |
30 - Escape and Pursuit | "tense" | 9 | 8 | 10 | 0 | 8 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 0 | 11 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |
31 - Escape From Jill's Room | "Intense" | 9 | 8 | 10 | 3 | 8 | 5 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 0 | 11 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
32 - Escaping the Fire | "Tense and somber" | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 0 | 8 | 7 | 0 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | |
33 - The Chase | "Intense" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 0 | 10 | 9 | 0 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | |
34 - Standoff at the Lodge | "Tense" | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 0 | 10 | 8 | 0 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 9 | |
35 - Escape from the Lodge | "Intense" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 10 | 10 | 0 | 10 | 9 | 0 | 7 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | |
36 - Escape and Rescue | "Tense" | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 0 | 10 | 8 | 0 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 10 | |
37 - The Final Battle | "Intense" | 8 | 10 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 0 | 11 | 8 | 0 | 9 | 5 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 8 | |
38 - Aftermath | "Bittersweet" | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 3 | 0 | 6 | 6 | 0 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 |
Summary of Scene Level Analysis
Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.
Scene Strengths
- The action and suspense kept the scene engaging.
- Well-defined characters with conflicting perspectives on the ethics of the arms trade.
- Witty and satirical dialogue that captures the tone of the scene.
- Tense and captivating tone that fits the plot.
- Well-balanced humor and darkness that shifts the tone and sets up the next part of the story.
Scene Weaknesses
- Lack of character development and dialogue in one scene that made it difficult to connect with the characters.
- Some scenes being slow-paced or too dialogue-heavy.
- Cliches and shallow dialogue in some instances.
- Some actions and events feeling surreal and confusing.
- Limited character development and emotional impact in some scenes.
Suggestions
- Consider adding more character development and dialogue in scenes that may lack it.
- Look for opportunities to increase the pace or add more action in slower scenes.
- Try to avoid cliches and shallow dialogue and focus on creating unique and authentic characters.
- Ensure that actions and events are clear and not confusing to the audience.
- Strive to create scenes with strong emotional impact and character development.
- Physical environment: The world depicted in the screenplay is a diverse range of physical environments including a minibus, a barren rocky hillside, an old and shabby minibus, a dark and scary forest, a rustic lodge in an isolated area, a forest setting with melting trees and fairy lights, a lodge in a clearing in the woods, a lodge in a forest during a rainy night, a row of prison cells, a lodge with top hats and a child, a rural lodge at night, a lodge on a hill with snow, a lodge main room, a forested road and woods, a forest clearing, a lodge clearing with bear traps, a lodge clearing with burning lodge, a dark, winding road, a forested area with torture instruments, a lodge clearing with five mattresses, a lodge with paint splashes, a small lodge at night with a barricaded door, a lodge with a study and a cellar, a dark and ominous lodge cellar, a dark, ominous lodge, a burning-down lodge, a clearing in a forest at night, a lake and river, a tangled forest with prickly bushes, a lake with several motor boats tied to a jetty, a forest and a fancy lodge, a forest with hunters, a forest clearing and a lake, and a lake and river.
- Culture: The cultural elements present in the screenplay include the diverse group of employees watching a corporate video, the singing of a song by the driver in an old and shabby minibus, the preference for city vs. nature and playing team games for entertainment in the forest setting, the mention of Palisade in a local newspaper in a lodge with unique physical characteristics, the societal structure involving a hierarchy with Richard thinking he is in charge in a rustic lodge at night, and the presence of hunters who are psychotic war criminals in a lodge with hunters.
- Society: The societal structure is not explicitly emphasized in the screenplay, but there are mentions of employees of Palisade Defense, an arms company, and a reference to a company logo on a landmine, suggesting a society centered around the arms industry.
- Technology: The technological aspects present in the screenplay include the use of laptops and maps in an old and shabby minibus, the generator used to power the lodge in a forest setting, the mobile phone that doesn't work in a forested road and in the woods, the torture instruments such as scalpels and needles in a forested area, and the presence of drugs Steve carries in a lodge with a main room.
- Characters influence: The unique physical environment, culture, society, and technology in the world shape the characters' experiences and actions. The barren, isolated, and foreboding physical environments contribute to the characters' feelings of isolation and vulnerability. The cultural elements, such as the diverse group of employees and the preference for city vs. nature, influence the characters' relationships and dynamics. The presence of an arms company and hunters as societal structures create conflict and danger for the characters. The use of technology, such as laptops and mobile phones, affects the characters' communication and navigation abilities. These world elements shape the characters' decisions, interactions, and emotions throughout the screenplay.
- Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute to the narrative by establishing the physical and emotional stakes for the characters. The unique physical environments, culture, and societal structures provide the backdrop for the characters' journey and conflicts. The technology present in the world adds a layer of realism and enables certain plot developments. The world elements also serve as catalysts for the characters' actions and decisions, driving the overall narrative forward.
- Thematic depth contribution: The world elements in the screenplay contribute to the thematic depth by exploring themes of isolation, danger, morality, and survival. The physical environments and cultural elements highlight the characters' struggle with their surroundings and their own beliefs. The technology present in the world raises questions about the ethical implications of advancements and their role in destructive industries. The societal structures, such as the arms company and hunters, serve as symbols of power and the consequences of unchecked ambition. These world elements deepen the exploration of the characters' moral dilemmas and the overall themes of the screenplay.
Voice Analysis | |
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Summary: | The writer's voice is characterized by sarcastic and satirical humor, dark humor and irony, witty banter, naturalistic dialogue, and a focus on tension-building and suspense. |
Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes to the script by establishing a unique tone and atmosphere. Through the use of humor, the writer adds levity to intense situations and explores dark themes with satire. The witty and sarcastic dialogue adds depth to the characters and creates a sense of realism. The writer's focus on tension-building and suspense keeps the audience engaged and invested in the story. |
Best Representation Scene | 34 - Standoff at the Lodge |
Best Scene Explanation | Scene 34 is the best representation of the author's voice because it showcases the writer's darkly comedic and sarcastic dialogue. The dialogue adds a humorous element to the tense situation and effectively builds tension. |
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
Pattern | Explanation |
---|---|
Emotional Impact vs. Overall Grade | There is a strong positive correlation between Emotional Impact and Overall Grade, indicating that scenes with higher emotional impact tend to be scored higher overall. |
Dialogue vs. Character Changes | There is a moderate positive correlation between Dialogue and Character Changes, indicating that more dialogue tends to lead to more changes in character. |
High Stakes vs. Move Story Forward | There is a strong positive correlation between High Stakes and Moving Story Forward, indicating that scenes with higher stakes tend to be more impactful in advancing the story. |
Concept vs. Tone | There is a weak negative correlation between Concept and Tone, indicating that scenes with a stronger concept tend to have a more serious tone, whereas scenes with a weaker concept tend to have a more sarcastic or humorous tone. |
Conflict vs. Emotional Impact | There is a moderate positive correlation between Conflict and Emotional Impact, indicating that scenes with more conflict tend to be more emotionally impactful. |
Plot vs. Character Changes | There is a weak positive correlation between Plot and Character Changes, indicating that advancing the plot tends to result in changes to the characters in the story. |
Suspenseful vs. Tone | There is a weak positive correlation between scenes being Suspenseful and having a Tense or Ominous tone, indicating that suspenseful scenes tend to be more serious or foreboding. |
Dialogue vs. Emotional Impact | There is a weak positive correlation between Dialogue and Emotional Impact, indicating that more impactful scenes tend to have more meaningful dialogue. |
Tone vs. Overall Grade | There is a moderate positive correlation between Tone and Overall Grade, indicating that scenes with a stronger tone tend to be scored higher overall. |
Suspenseful vs. High Stakes | There is a moderate positive correlation between Suspenseful and High Stakes, indicating that suspenseful scenes tend to have higher stakes and more tension. |
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
---|---|---|
Abandoned in a Dangerous Situation | A man abandons two women in a bear pit during a chase through a forest. | This trope involves a character being left to their fate in a dangerous or life-threatening situation. An example of this can be seen in the movie 'The Descent' when Juno abandons Sarah in a cave. |
Corporate Conspiracy | Employees of a weapons company express concern over the ethical implications of their work and discover evidence of their company's atrocities. | A corporate conspiracy involves a company or institution engaging in unethical or illegal activities that are hidden from public view. An example of this can be seen in the TV show 'Mr. Robot' where the protagonist uncovers a massive corporate conspiracy. |
Paranoia Fuel | The characters become increasingly paranoid as they navigate the dark forest, hear strange noises, and discover evidence of a sinister presence. | Paranoia fuel involves a story or situation that creates a sense of unease or fear in the reader/viewer by emphasizing the unknown or uncertain. An example of this can be seen in the movie 'The Thing' where a group of researchers in Antarctica become paranoid and suspicious as they try to uncover the identity of a shape-shifting alien. |
Final Girl | Maggie fights back against the hunters and ultimately defeats the main antagonist with her strength and wit. | The final girl trope involves a female character who survives until the end of a horror or thriller film and usually defeats the main antagonist using her own resourcefulness and intelligence. An example of this can be seen in the movie 'Halloween' where Laurie Strode is the final girl who confronts and defeats the killer Michael Myers. |
Chase Scene | Three people are chased through a forest by an unknown figure. | A chase scene involves a pursuit between two or more characters, usually with one trying to catch or harm the other. An example of this can be seen in the movie 'Mad Max: Fury Road' where Max and Furiosa chase each other through a post-apocalyptic wasteland. |
Found Footage | The characters discover evidence of their company's atrocities in a cellar filled with strung-up animals and medical equipment. | Found footage involves a story told through footage that was discovered or compiled by the characters in the story. An example of this can be seen in the movie 'The Blair Witch Project' where the characters discover footage of their own doomed expedition. |
Survival Horror | The characters are stranded in a remote location with limited supplies and must fend off attacks from unknown figures. | Survival horror involves a story that emphasizes the survival and self-preservation of the characters, often in a horror or thriller context. An example of this can be seen in the video game 'Resident Evil' where the player must navigate a zombie-infested mansion while solving puzzles and managing supplies. |
Memorable lines in the script:
Scene Number | Line |
---|---|
35 | Maggie: There is a pack of psychotic war criminals fucked up on electro-shock treatment and medication right behind us, and very soon they will come through that door, rip off our heads, and shit down our necks. So if you have any more questions, maybe they can wait until we have GOT THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! NOW MOVE YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS OR I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF! |
10 | Deer: Now get out of my forest. Fucking druggie. |
8 | Steve: Bugger me sideways. |
30 | Gareth: I forgive you... |
32 | Steve: Got you, you fucker! |
Some Loglines to consider:
A team-building retreat goes horribly wrong as employees face death and danger in a dark and remote forest. |
Trapped in a burning lodge, survivors must overcome hallucinations and bear traps to escape an unknown enemy. |
Maggie and Steve lead the charge for survival, but when Maggie is caught in a trap, Steve must decide whether to save her or continue to safety. |
In a fight for their lives, the group defeats one hunter but must confront another in a life-and-death battle. |
As they approach a waterfall and their likely doom, Maggie and Steve find acceptance and comfort in one another's company. |
Help & FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
After that, the high-level menu will offer insights into the story, themes, and characters.
The scene-by-scene analysis will demonstrate how each scene performs across various criteria, summarized in the column headings.
Click on any scene title to view the full analysis, including critiques and suggestions for improvement.
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Explanation: The screenplay for 'Severance' is a well-crafted thriller that follows a group of corporate employees who become trapped in a remote, dangerous location and must fight for their survival against a group of psychotic, former-military antagonists. The screenplay features strong character development, intense action sequences, and thought-provoking themes around the ethics of the arms industry. While the pacing could be tightened in places and some narrative elements could be further developed, the overall screenplay is a compelling and engaging read that would make for a compelling film adaptation.