Breaking bad, episode 306

Executive Summary

Poster
Overview

Genres: Crime, Drama, Thriller

Setting: Contemporary, New Mexico, USA

Overview: Baking Bad is a thrilling drama that follows the transformation of Walt, a high school chemistry teacher turned methamphetamine manufacturer. The story begins with Walt's diagnosis of lung cancer, which leads him to team up with former student Jesse to produce and sell meth. As their operation grows, they become entangled in a dangerous world of crime and face numerous challenges. The script explores themes of identity, family, ambition, guilt, and survival. The story takes place in various settings, including the New Mexico desert, a tribal police cruiser, a superlab, and Los Pollos Hermanos. The script's unique voice combines descriptive language, realistic dialogue, and a talent for creating tension and suspense. Baking Bad appeals to audiences who enjoy character-driven dramas with complex moral dilemmas and intense storytelling.

Themes: Identity and Heritage, Suspense and Danger, Family and Relationships, Ambition and Success, Guilt and Consequences, Science and Knowledge, Power and Control, Desperation and Survival, Justice and Morality, Betrayal and Loyalty

Conflict and Stakes: The primary conflicts in this story include the investigation of Mrs. Peyketewa's death, the conflict between Walt and Skyler regarding their divorce and the meth business, the conflict between Jesse and his crew over the new approach to selling meth, and the conflict between Walt and Hank as Hank suspects Walt's involvement in the meth business. The stakes include the safety and reputation of the characters, their relationships, and their freedom.

Overall Mood: Dark, intense, and suspenseful

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: Exploration of the moral complexities of its characters and the consequences of their actions
  • Major Twist: The Cousins killing the Deputy and the negotiation between Gus and the Cousins
  • Distinctive Setting: The New Mexico desert and the tribal police cruiser

Comparable Scripts:

  • No Country for Old Men
  • Breaking Bad
  • Better Call Saul
  • No Country for Old Men

Writing Style:

The writing style of the screenplay is characterized by a focus on tension, suspense, and character-driven storytelling. The dialogue is often concise and impactful, revealing the characters' professionalism and commitment. There is also a strong emphasis on realism and authenticity in the portrayal of characters and their actions.

Style Similarities:

  • Vince Gilligan
  • David Simon
Other Similarities
Pass/Consider/Recommend

Recommend


Explanation: The screenplay effectively sets up conflicts and plot developments, such as the divorce between Walt and Skyler and the impending confrontation with the Cousins. The character arcs for Walt and Jesse are well-developed, showcasing their transformations and the toll the illegal activities take on them. However, there are areas that could be improved, such as the dialogue and the need for clearer connections between certain storylines. Overall, the screenplay has a compelling narrative and effectively builds tension and suspense throughout.


USP: This script stands out from others in its genre with its unique elements, such as the use of a souvenir medallion as a symbol, the introduction of the Cousins as antagonists, and the unexpected discovery of a murder. The script also showcases distinctive characters, innovative storytelling techniques, and a compelling narrative. With its exploration of complex relationships, high-stakes conflicts, and intense tension, this script will captivate its target audience and offer a fresh and compelling piece of storytelling.
Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$50-70 million

Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 18-54, fans of crime dramas and character-driven stories

Marketability: The screenplay has a strong and dedicated fan base, and the success of the TV show 'Breaking Bad' demonstrates the marketability of this type of story. The screenplay offers a compelling and complex narrative with well-developed characters and explores themes that resonate with a wide audience.

The screenplay has a unique blend of genres, combining elements of crime drama, thriller, and character study. It offers a fresh take on the drug trade and explores the moral complexities of its characters. The screenplay has the potential to attract both mainstream and niche audiences.

The screenplay's strong writing, compelling characters, and intense storytelling make it marketable to fans of crime dramas and character-driven stories. The success of similar projects in recent years, such as 'Breaking Bad' and 'Better Call Saul,' also indicates a market for this type of content.

Profit Potential: High, due to the strong marketability and potential for critical acclaim. The screenplay has the potential to attract a wide audience and generate significant revenue through box office sales, streaming rights, and merchandise. Additionally, the screenplay's potential for awards recognition could further boost its profitability.

Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by a blend of descriptive language, realistic dialogue, and concise narrative description. They have a talent for creating tension and suspense through their writing, as well as conveying emotional depth and authenticity in their characters.

Best representation: Scene 6 - Chemistry and Surveillance. This scene is the best representation because it showcases the writer's ability to create vivid and engaging visual and sensory descriptions, as well as their talent for crafting natural and authentic dialogue that reveals character traits and dynamics.

Memorable Lines:

  • Jesse: THIS IS MY OWN PRIVATE DOMICILE AND I WILL NOT BE HARASSED! BITCH! (Scene 12)
  • Officer Kee: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!! (Scene 2)
  • GUS: I told you before. You will not kill Walter White. Not until my business with him has concluded. (Scene 14)
  • DISPATCHER: KDK-12, come in... KDK-12... (Scene 1)
  • SAUL: what do I look like, the RV disposal people? Did you not plan for this contingency? (Scene 9)
Characters

Officer Kee:A young Native American deputy

Mrs. Peyketewa:A woman who is found dead in her house

Cousins:Two dangerous individuals who kill the Deputy

Walt:A chemistry teacher turned methamphetamine manufacturer

Skyler:Walt's wife

Jesse:Walt's former student and partner in the meth business

Gus:A powerful drug lord

Badger:Jesse's friend and member of his crew

Skinny Pete:Jesse's friend and member of his crew

Hank:Walt's brother-in-law and a DEA agent

Walter Jr.:Walt's son

Gale:Walt's lab assistant

Saul:A criminal lawyer who helps Walt and Jesse

Marie:Hank's wife

Francesca:Saul's secretary

Old Joe:Owner of the crusher yard

Officer Elaine Tanner:A police officer who delivers news to Hank

Story Shape
Summary In this TV episode screenplay, multiple scenes depict different storylines. The first scene shows Officer Kee driving through a New Mexico reservation to check on Mrs. Peyketewa. However, he finds her house deserted and her body rolled up in a rug. The next scene involves Walt and Skyler discussing their divorce and child support, while the Cousins wait for Walt at Los Pollos Hermanos. Jesse and his crew then propose a new approach to selling meth. The following scene shows Jesse saying goodbye to his crew, while Walt prepares for his day and has a tense conversation with his son. The episode continues with Walt meeting his new lab assistant, Gale, and celebrating their first day. Meanwhile, Hank watches Jesse's house and suspects something. Marie talks to Hank about finding the RV and suggests someone who might know something. Walt then contacts Saul to deal with the DEA problem. In another scene, Walt and Jesse panic when Hank discovers them in the RV, and they end up trapped. Finally, Walt and Jesse witness the RV being destroyed in a car crusher, and Gus negotiates with the Cousins over Walter's fate.


Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The overall plot and story of the screenplay are engaging and intriguing. The opening scene sets a strong tone and introduces the main character, Officer Kee, effectively. The discovery of Mrs. Peyketewa's body and the introduction of the Cousins as antagonists add suspense and mystery to the story. The scenes involving Walt and Jesse provide insight into their characters and their involvement in the drug operation. The tension between Hank and Jesse's crew adds another layer of conflict. The climax of the screenplay, with the RV being crushed and the negotiation between Gus and the Cousins, is intense and leaves the audience wanting more. However, there are some areas that could be improved. The transitions between scenes could be smoother to create a more cohesive narrative. The dialogue in some scenes lacks depth and could benefit from more subtext and emotional nuance. Additionally, the pacing of certain scenes could be tightened to maintain momentum and keep the audience engaged. Overall, the plot and story have a strong foundation but could be enhanced with more attention to detail and character development.
Suggestions: To improve the screenplay, consider refining the transitions between scenes to create a more seamless flow. Focus on developing the dialogue to add depth and subtext, allowing the characters' emotions and motivations to shine through. Additionally, pay attention to the pacing of the scenes to maintain momentum and keep the audience engaged. Consider adding more visual elements to enhance the storytelling and immerse the audience in the environment. Finally, explore opportunities for character development and growth, particularly in the interactions between Walt and Jesse. This will add complexity and depth to the overall story.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Beginning The beginning of the screenplay effectively sets the tone and introduces the main character, Officer Kee. The visual details and descriptions create a vivid atmosphere and engage the audience. The discovery of Mrs. Peyketewa's body adds intrigue and sets the stage for the conflict to come. However, there are some areas that could be improved. The dialogue between Officer Kee and the police dispatcher could benefit from more character development to deepen their relationship. Additionally, the transition to Walt and Skyler's conversation feels disjointed and could be smoother. Overall, the beginning of the screenplay establishes a strong foundation but could be enhanced with more attention to character development and seamless transitions.
Suggestions: To improve the beginning of the screenplay, consider adding more depth to the dialogue between Officer Kee and the police dispatcher. This will help establish their relationship and create a stronger emotional connection. Additionally, work on smoothing out the transition between scenes to create a more seamless flow. This will enhance the overall pacing and engagement of the audience.
Middle The middle part of the screenplay delves deeper into the characters' motivations and introduces new conflicts. The scenes involving Jesse and his crew provide insight into their dynamics and the challenges they face. The introduction of Hank observing Jesse's house adds tension and intrigue. However, there are some areas that could be improved. The dialogue between Walt and Skyler feels repetitive and lacks depth, and the transition to Los Pollos Hermanos feels abrupt and disconnected. Additionally, the scene with Jesse, Skinny Pete, and Badger lacks conflict and tension. Overall, the middle part of the screenplay has strong moments but could benefit from more nuanced dialogue and smoother transitions.
Suggestions: To improve the middle part of the screenplay, focus on developing the dialogue between Walt and Skyler to add depth and emotional tension. Smooth out the transitions between scenes to create a more cohesive narrative. Additionally, add more conflict and tension to the scene with Jesse, Skinny Pete, and Badger to engage the audience and advance the story.
Ending The ending of the screenplay is intense and leaves the audience wanting more. The scenes involving Walt and Jesse trapped in the RV and the negotiation between Gus and the Cousins are filled with suspense and conflict. However, there are some areas that could be improved. The scene with Walt and Jesse hiding in the RV lacks clear and concise descriptions, making it difficult to visualize the actions and settings. Additionally, the dialogue in this scene lacks tension and emotional depth. The destruction of the RV feels rushed and lacks the necessary emotional weight. Overall, the ending of the screenplay has strong moments but could benefit from more clarity and emotional resonance.
Suggestions: To improve the ending of the screenplay, focus on providing clear and concise descriptions to enhance the visual experience for the reader. Develop the dialogue to add tension and emotional depth, allowing the audience to connect with the characters' emotions. Additionally, give more weight and significance to the destruction of the RV to create a more impactful and memorable ending.

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

1 - Officer Kee Responds to a Call Ironic, Mysterious 8 7 79 7 587676775 68899
2 - Murder at Mrs. Peyketewa's House Suspenseful, Creepy, Intense 9 8 96 8 7769810978 78998
3 - Tension and Pressure Resigned, Bitter, Sarcastic, Polite, Tense 8 7 87 9 787878867 98899
4 - Jesse's New Approach to Selling Meth Pride, Excitement, Cautious 8 7 76 8 587566876 99898
5 - Goodbyes and Tension Tense, Anxious, Nostalgic 8 7 82 9 705766847 86798
6 - Walt meets his new lab assistant Serious, Intense, Professional, Friendly 9 8 87 9 587675866 98899
7 - Chemistry and Surveillance Educational, Reflective, Intimate 9 8 79 9 487362577 109898
8 - Hank Suspects Jesse of Selling Meth Frustration, Exasperation, Curiosity, Tension 8 7 85 7 587787866 97998
9 - Dealing with the DEA Tense, Panicked, Sarcastic 9 8 97 9 7899810988 109999
10 - Walt demands the RV be wiped clean Tense, Intense, Threatening 9 8 97 9 78910810988 109999
11 - Walt and Jesse Panic as Hank Blocks Them In Tense, Anxious, Fearful, Reflective 9 8 96 9 8879810979 89998
12 - Hank Confronts Walt and Jesse in the RV Tense, Anxious, Intense 9 8 96 9 7879810978 109998
13 - Trapped in the RV Despair, Nervous, Desperate, Scared, Reluctant, Bitterness, Anger, Defeated 9 8 97 9 887989989 89998
14 - The Crushing of the RV and Negotiations in the Desert Sad, Melancholy, Tense 9 8 97 9 8879810978 98899


Scene 1 - Officer Kee Responds to a Call
INT. TRIBAL POLICE CRUISER - DAY

CLOSE -- a SOUVENIR medallion hangs from a rearview MIRROR.
Sunlight glances off the small laminated rectangle, which
quivers slightly in the breeze from an open car window.
Printed in BOLD TYPE on one side: “HOMELAND SECURITY.” Just
as we’re wondering what this means...

... the medallion TWISTS in the wind, revealing its other
side. An old PHOTOGRAPH of an armed band of Apache warriors,
surrounded by more text: FIGHTING TERRORISM SINCE 1492
(actually, this is a famous 1886 photo of Geronimo & Co.)

An ironic commentary, you can’t walk into a tourist shop in
the Southwest without seeing a T-shirt or refrigerator magnet
bearing this image. As WE HEAR a POLICE RADIO SQUAWK:

DISPATCHER (V.O.)
KDK-12, come in... KDK-12...

OFFICER KEE, a young Native American deputy is at the wheel.
We realize this is a TRIBAL POLICE CAR -- the barren and
beautiful landscape of a New Mexico RESERVATION can be seen
outside his open WINDOW. He speaks into the mic:

OFFICER KEE
KDK-12.

DISPATCHER (V.O.)
Hey, Bobby. Need you to look in on
Mrs. Peyketewa.

(Note: This is pronounced peck-a-TEE-wa.)

OFFICER KEE
Is she alright?

DISPATCHER (V.O.)
Her daughter called from
California. She hasn’t heard from
her in a while. Kinda worried.

OFFICER KEE
Will do.


EXT. NEW MEXICO DESERT - DAY

A line of TELEPHONE POLES snakes off across a barren valley.
SCRUB BRUSH quivers in HEAT LINES rising off the desert
floor. Then... a FAN-TAIL of DUST rises up on the horizon.


(CONTINUED)
BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 2
CONTINUED:


It’s the TRIBAL POLICE CRUISER making its way along a dirt
RESERVATION ROAD. Slowing at an unmarked TURN-OFF. Does
anyone really live out here?

Then we see it. A small HOUSE, brown as the landscape that
surrounds it. A traditional outdoor adobe STOVE... a
satellite DISH... an n.d. GRAY CAR... seems a pretty typical
Reservation abode.
Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary Officer Kee, a young Native American deputy, receives a call from the dispatcher asking him to check on Mrs. Peyketewa. The scene opens with a souvenir medallion hanging from the rearview mirror of a tribal police cruiser. The medallion twists in the wind, revealing an old photograph of an armed band of Apache warriors. The cruiser makes its way towards a small house in the New Mexico desert. No conflicts arise in this scene, and the tone is calm and reflective.
Strengths
  • Effective setting establishment
  • Intriguing use of the medallion as a symbol
Weaknesses
  • Lack of strong emotional moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively establishes the setting, introduces the main character, and hints at the potential conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of using a souvenir medallion to convey a deeper meaning is unique and intriguing.

Plot: 7

The plot is set in motion with the task given to Officer Kee to check on Mrs. Peyketewa.

Originality: 9

This scene demonstrates originality through its inclusion of the ironic commentary on the famous photograph of Apache warriors. It also presents a fresh approach to showcasing the protagonist's dedication to his duty as a tribal police officer.


Character Development

Characters: 7

Officer Kee is introduced as a young Native American deputy, setting up potential cultural and personal conflicts.

Character Changes: 5

No significant character changes occur in this scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to fulfill his duty as a police officer and check on Mrs. Peyketewa's well-being. This reflects his desire to protect and serve his community.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to investigate Mrs. Peyketewa's well-being and ensure she is safe. This reflects the immediate challenge of responding to a concerned call from her daughter.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict is introduced through the concern for Mrs. Peyketewa's well-being.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is moderate, as the protagonist faces the challenge of investigating Mrs. Peyketewa's well-being and potentially uncovering a problem. The audience is unsure of how the investigation will unfold.

High Stakes: 6

The concern for Mrs. Peyketewa's well-being creates moderate stakes.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the task for Officer Kee.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it raises questions about Mrs. Peyketewa's situation and leaves the audience wondering what the protagonist will discover.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 5

The scene lacks strong emotional moments but sets up potential emotional stakes.

Dialogue: 6

The dialogue is straightforward and serves to establish the task given to Officer Kee.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it introduces a mystery surrounding Mrs. Peyketewa's well-being and creates anticipation for the protagonist's investigation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and curiosity through the use of descriptive language and dialogue.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre by clearly indicating the location, time, and character actions.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre by introducing the setting, establishing the protagonist's goal, and setting up the next sequence of events.


Critique
  • The opening description of the souvenir medallion hanging from the rearview mirror is a great visual detail that sets the tone for the scene.
  • The use of the ironic commentary on the photograph of the Apache warriors is a clever way to add depth to the scene and the story.
  • The dialogue between Officer Kee and the police dispatcher is straightforward and serves its purpose, but it could benefit from more character development.
  • The description of the New Mexico desert landscape is vivid and adds to the overall atmosphere of the scene.
  • The introduction of the house and its surroundings is well done and creates a sense of mystery and anticipation for what's to come.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more character development for Officer Kee in this scene, perhaps through his actions or internal thoughts.
  • Try to find ways to make the dialogue between Officer Kee and the police dispatcher more engaging and memorable.
  • Consider adding more conflict or tension to the scene to make it more dynamic and engaging for the audience.
  • Think about ways to use the setting and landscape to further develop the story and characters.
  • Consider adding more visual details to the scene to make it more immersive and memorable for the audience.



Scene 2 - Murder at Mrs. Peyketewa's House
EXT./INT. MRS. PEYKETEWA’S HOUSE - DAY

The cruiser pulls to a stop near the car. The Deputy
emerges, makes his way toward the front door. He glances
about the place as his boots CRACKLE their way across the
gravel drive. Nothing seems particularly out of the ordinary
-- the place seems deserted, quiet.

The Deputy steps up to the front door, KNOCKS. Calls out:

OFFICER KEE
Mrs. Peyketewa? Hello?

No answer. The Deputy looks about, listens. KNOCKS again.

OFFICER KEE
Mrs. Peyketewa?

WEE-HO. The Deputy tries the door -- locked. Still not
overly concerned, he heads around the place, looking for...

... WINDOWS. He finds one -- probably a bedroom. Locked as
well. Can’t see much through the old-fashioned BLINDS. The
Deputy moves on to the back of the house. Coming upon... THE
KITCHEN WINDOW. Where he sees something... odd.

HIS POV - A STEAMING CUP OF COFFEE

Sits on a Formica TABLE. As if Mrs. Peyketewa just poured
herself a hot one. WE SCAN ABOUT, looking for the old woman.
There’s the percolator on the stove. A man’s SHIRT on a
drying RACK in a corner. But no sign of her. He TAPS on the
window.

OFFICER KEE
Mrs. Peyketewa?

Nothing but the WEE-HO. So he MOVES ON to the next WINDOW...
peering through the dusty glass into a small BREAKFAST NOOK.




(CONTINUED)
BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 3
CONTINUED:


HIS POV - A SANTA MUERTE SHRINE

Set up on a small table against the far wall. On the
makeshift altar: a foot-tall, Day of the Dead-style female
SKELETON SCULPTURE draped in white LACE. Before La Nina
Blanca, money and various offerings. Items from victims?

It’s a mini-version of the creepy shrine we saw in 301,
replete with half-melted BLACK CANDLE and a sacrificial image
of HEISENBERG (a NEW drawing) scrawled on a bit of PAPER.

REVERSE - THE DEPUTY

Thinks this is a bit weird. To us, it’s goddamn scary. We
know the dreaded Cousins can’t be far behind.

The Deputy pulls his face back from the glass, continuing his
wary circuit around the house. As he does so, he just misses
what only we, in fact, see:

A FIGURE -- DARK and OUT-OF-FOCUS -- slips between us and the
unsuspecting Deputy. Blink and you’ll miss it.

Oh, that poor Deputy. We know something BAD is gonna happen
to him. As he rounds the far side of the house, making for
the next window through which to try and get a glimpse, he
hears something now. It turns his head, gives him pause.

It’s a BUZZING sound.... this is an insect-noise. Flies.
LOTS of flies. A sound anyone in the hinterlands knows means
one thing -- carrion.

His eyes fix on... a CLOUD OF INSECTS hovering near an old
BEATER on blocks in the backyard.

THE DEPUTY slowly approaches the wreck... EASES around it...
coming to a STOP at something that makes him CRINGE:

AN OLD INDIAN RUG

Rolled up, tossed haphazard in the weedy brush behind the
beater. It looks somehow... thicker than it should, bulging
with something more than just rug.

A PAIR OF LEGS. Elderly. Dressed in a single shoe.
Sticking out of the rolled-up rug at odd angles. Oh god...

It’s Old Mrs. Peyketewa! The gorge rising in his throat, the
Deputy instantly turns to face the house, simultaneously
drawing his SIDEARM. Scanning the immediate area with well-
trained aplomb. Nothing in sight.



(CONTINUED)
BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 4
CONTINUED: (2)


Doesn’t mean shit. He remembers the hot cup of java.
Somebody’s close. Smart, scared, the Deputy HUFFS it back
the way he came, giving the house wide berth. He keeps his
pistol aimed dead at every window he passes. Ready to FIRE.

Making for his cruiser, he slips around to the driver’s door.
He holsters his pistol, reaches in to POP loose his 12-GAUGE.
Using his cruiser for cover -- CHIKKK-CHUK! -- he RACKS the
pump, pointing the shotgun at the front door of the house.

Stillness. Silence. But the Deputy’s not taking any
chances. He reaches inside the car... grabs the HANDSET...

OFFICER KEE
KDK-12 here... Janet, jesus, we got
a homicide...

DISPATCHER
Come again?

OFFICER KEE
Mrs. Peyketewa, she’s dead. I need
some backup out here --

DISPATCHER
Okay. On their way.

OFFICER KEE
Whoever’s in there -- show
yourself! Right now!

He drops the handset, leans out over the hood of the cruiser,
keeping aim on the house and its vicinity. Again, all seems
quiet. The Deputy in control of the situation. When...

CREAK. The front door slowly OPENS.

OFFICER KEE
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!

We FOLLOW a SILHOUETTED FIGURE stepping out. We see the
Deputy in b.g., hunkered behind his cruiser, aiming at...

ONE OF THE COUSINS

Yes, those inscrutable grim-reapers from down south, here to
wreak vengeance on Walter White. Seems this is where they
decided to crash while they were waiting for the go-ahead.

This Cousin steps out into the sunlight. Barefoot, dress
pants and wife-beater T-shirt are his only attire. He
stands, stoic, staring at the cop with the shotgun as if he
were nothing more than a Girl Scout selling cookies.

(CONTINUED)
BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 5
CONTINUED: (3)


OFFICER KEE
LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS... HANDS!

Though he never takes his cold gaze off the Deputy, the
Cousin obliges, ever-so-slowly, casually, RAISING his hands
face-high. Revealing... a shiny RED APPLE in his right fist.
THE DEPUTY keeps a bead on the Cousin, taking no chances.

OFFICER KEE
Alright, down. On your knees!

So focused on the perp in his sights... the Deputy fails to
notice MOVEMENT behind him. WE DO, though:

A FIGURE rises up from a hiding place in the near distance.
Though OUT-OF-FOCUS, it sure looks like THE OTHER COUSIN.
Also in wife-beater, he casually approaches the deputy,
carrying something SHINY over one shoulder. Oh god, it’s THE
FIRE AXE. The Cousins’ weapon of choice.

The Deputy is preoccupied with the first Cousin, who stands
statue-still before the open door, hands raised.

OFFICER KEE
You understand me?? Do you speak
English?? ¿Hablas Inglés?

No response. Just a cold dead stare, a ripe red apple, the
windmill WEE-HO, and the OTHER COUSIN approaching quietly,
relentlessly, like a dust-devil across the desert floor.

OFFICER KEE
I SAID DOWN, ON YOUR KNEES! DOWN!
¡DE RODILLAS! -- DAMN IT! GET
DOWN. ON YOUR KNEES! DO IT!

THE FIRST COUSIN begins to MOVE. Though not the way the
Deputy wanted. He slowly TURNS HIS BACK on...

THE DEPUTY, who TENSES, brandishing his SHOTGUN...

OFFICER KEE
ON YOUR KNEES OR I’LL FIRE!!

JUST AS the FIRST COUSIN brings the APPLE to his mouth... THE
OTHER COUSIN takes the axe HANDLE in both hands, raises the
BLADE HIGH over his head and...

--SKA...RUNCH!! THE FIRST COUSIN TAKES A JUICY BITE OF THE
APPLE... AT THE SAME INSTANT THE OTHER COUSIN BRINGS DOWN THE
AXE ON THE UNSUSPECTING DEPUTY!



(CONTINUED)
BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 6
CONTINUED: (4)


The Cousin enjoys his APPLE as -- mercifully OUT-OF-FOCUS in
background -- his counterpart BRINGS DOWN THE AXE AGAIN...
and AGAIN... chopping so much human firewood...

END OF TEASER
BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 7


ACT ONE


THE SANDIA MOUNTAINS

At sunset. Towering red rock under an azure sky. WE PULL
BACK as WALT steps into view. We realize he’s looking at a
FRAMED PRINT hanging on a wall.

There’s something about this painting that intrigues him.
Jogs a memory. Maybe in us, too... but we’re hard-pressed to
recall where we saw this before. Truth is, this painting was
the backdrop for a scene -- the scene where it all began --
in the doctor's office where Walt learned he had cancer.

Maybe Walt’s mulling over everything that’s happened since...
or maybe he just likes paintings of the Sandia Mountains.
We’re not sure. He moves on now, making his way through...
Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

Summary The Deputy arrives at Mrs. Peyketewa's deserted house and discovers a shrine with offerings and a steaming cup of coffee. He then finds Mrs. Peyketewa's body rolled up in a rug. The Deputy confronts the Cousins, one of whom is holding a red apple, and the other with a fire axe. The Cousins kill the Deputy, leaving the scene ominous and suspenseful.
Strengths
  • Building suspense
  • Introducing dangerous antagonists
  • Creating a sense of fear and tension
Weaknesses
  • Limited dialogue interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively builds suspense and tension through the Deputy's investigation and the reveal of the murder. The presence of the Cousins adds an additional layer of danger and intrigue. The scene is well-written and engaging, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a Deputy stumbling upon a murder scene and encountering dangerous antagonists is compelling and sets up further conflict and suspense in the story.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the Deputy's investigation and discovery of the murder, which raises the stakes and propels the story forward.

Originality: 6

The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of investigating a deserted house and finding a dead body is a familiar trope in crime dramas, the inclusion of the Santa Muerte shrine adds a unique and fresh element to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is believable and adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly the Deputy and the Cousins, are well-defined and their actions and reactions contribute to the tension and suspense.

Character Changes: 7

The Deputy experiences a shift in his perception of the situation and his own vulnerability, but the change is not significant.

Internal Goal: 7

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to investigate the house and find Mrs. Peyketewa. This reflects his desire to fulfill his duty as a police officer and ensure the safety of the community.

External Goal: 6

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find out what happened to Mrs. Peyketewa and potentially solve a homicide case. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing and the need to maintain law and order in the community.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with the Deputy discovering a murder and facing off against the dangerous Cousins.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is faced with the challenge of investigating a deserted house and potentially solving a homicide case. The presence of the Cousins adds an element of danger and unpredictability.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are extremely high in the scene, with the Deputy's life in danger and the presence of dangerous antagonists.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a major conflict and raising the stakes for the main characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces the Santa Muerte shrine and the presence of the Cousins, which adds a new layer of mystery and danger to the story. The reader is unsure of what will happen next and how the protagonist will handle the situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 0

There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of fear and suspense, creating an emotional impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the Deputy's increasing unease and the silent menace of the Cousins. However, there are limited dialogue interactions.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of mystery and suspense. The reader is drawn into the investigation and wants to know what happened to Mrs. Peyketewa. The inclusion of the Santa Muerte shrine adds an element of intrigue and raises questions about the larger story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense. The writer uses concise and descriptive narrative description to create a sense of urgency and keep the reader engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, action lines, and dialogue in the correct format.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It starts with an establishing shot, introduces the protagonist's goals, and builds tension and suspense through a series of actions and revelations.


Critique
  • The scene starts off with a good establishing shot of the cruiser pulling up to Mrs. Peyketewa's house, setting the tone for the calm and reflective atmosphere.
  • The dialogue between Officer Kee and the police dispatcher is effective in conveying the purpose of his visit and creating a sense of anticipation.
  • The visual descriptions of the house and its surroundings are vivid and help to build suspense.
  • The discovery of the steaming cup of coffee and the shrine with offerings adds an eerie and mysterious element to the scene.
  • The reveal of Mrs. Peyketewa's body rolled up in a rug is a shocking and impactful moment.
  • The use of insects and flies as a sound cue to indicate the presence of carrion is a clever and atmospheric choice.
  • The introduction of the Cousins as the antagonists is well-executed, with their stoic and menacing presence.
  • The scene ends on a suspenseful note with the Cousins killing the Deputy with a fire axe.
  • Overall, the scene effectively establishes the setting, builds tension, and introduces important plot elements.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere, such as describing the smell of the coffee or the sound of the wind.
  • To further develop Officer Kee's character, consider incorporating his thoughts or emotions in response to the eerie discoveries he makes.
  • Explore ways to make the reveal of Mrs. Peyketewa's body even more shocking and impactful, perhaps by describing the Deputy's physical reaction or using vivid language to describe the scene.
  • Consider adding more dialogue or actions for the Cousins to further establish their menacing presence and create a sense of dread.
  • To increase the suspense, consider adding more moments of foreshadowing or hints about the impending danger the Deputy is facing.
  • Consider ending the scene with a cliffhanger or a moment of heightened tension to leave the audience wanting more.
  • Ensure that the pacing of the scene is consistent and that each moment builds upon the previous one to maintain the tension throughout.
  • Consider incorporating visual motifs or symbols that can be carried throughout the screenplay to enhance the thematic elements.



Scene 3 - Tension and Pressure
INT. WELL-APPOINTED CONDO - DAY

Modern, open, this condo is tastefully furnished. It’s a
nice place in one of Albuquerque’s better neighborhoods -- in
other words, the anti-Beachcomber.

Just as we're wondering what Walt is doing there... RING. He
pulls his “regular” CELL from a pocket, checks the CALLER
I.D. with an unreadable expression, then answers:

WALT
Yeah.

SKYLER (V.O.)
I found the papers.
(a bit clipped)
Right where you left them, in the
crib.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. WHITE HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

SKYLER sits at the counter, phone in one hand, DIVORCE PAPERS
spread out before her.

For Walt’s part, he’s more resigned than bitter (alright,
maybe a tad bitter).

WALT
Yeah, well, you know best, right?
Anything else?




(CONTINUED)
BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 8
CONTINUED:


SKYLER
Do you have any thought about how
we’re going to approach this with
Walter, Jr?

WALT
He’s still my son. I mean, he will
remain --

SKYLER
-- Of course. My point being --
the divorce.

WALT
Well... I, uh, I think he gets it,
don’t you? I mean, I... I think he
saw it coming. He sees your
unhappiness, and...

SKYLER
(bitterly sarcastic)
“MY unhappiness.” My completely,
out-of-the-clear-blue-sky
unhappiness. Really?

WALT
(not wanting to engage)
Look, as you said. For the best.

Skyler checks her anger, regretting the conversation took
this turn. Regretting the rise Walt just got out of her.

SKYLER
Yeah, okay... um... Last thing,
and then I’ll let you go.
(re: papers)
Um in the Child Support
Worksheet... you list... medical,
dental, child care, transportation,
housing, education, food,
clothing...

WALT
That’s right. All of it.

SKYLER
Walt... no.

WALT
Skyler, you wanted me out, I’m out.
But I will provide for my family.



(CONTINUED)
BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 9
CONTINUED: (2)


SKYLER
Not with that money! You’d be
making us accessories after the
fact!

Walt’s eyes narrow. Pretty legalistic of her. He considers
a moment. Answers mildly, yet coldly.

WALT
Skyler, how do you think we’ve been
paying our bills these last six
months?

Not a complete surprise to Skyler -- still, she doesn’t quite
know what to say to that. Before she can answer...

... WALT notices someone enter the room behind him.

WALT
I have to go.

Walt summarily hangs up. Turns to greet a smiling REALTOR.

REALTOR
Yep, I was right -- three units
available, exact same floorplan. I
can call over, get you in to see
any of the others, if you’d like.

WALT
No, no this one’s fine.
(considers; nods)
I’ll take it.

The Realtor grins. That was easy! Except:

REALTOR
Now, unfortunately this one is the
model, so...

WALT
Yeah, I like it. I like...
(the Sandia painting)
Everything about it. I’ll-I’ll
take it as-is.

The Realtor grows a touch uncomfortable -- not wanting to say
no and lose a sale. Walt sees this and smiles politely.

WALT
Name one thing in this world that
is not negotiable.


(CONTINUED)
BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 10
CONTINUED: (3)


Off the steel will of Heisenberg, faintly peeking through...


EXT. LOS POLLOS HERMANOS - DAY

To establish. A couple CARS dot the parking lot -- it’s mid-
afternoon down-time (PRODUCTION NOTE: any fresh ESTABLISHING
SHOTS we can get while we’re here would be appreciated!)

INT. LOS POLLOS HERMANOS - GUS FRING

Businessman and secret meth kingpin, runs his MANAGER through
the paces of a new SODA DISPENSER (or some other appropriate
chicken joint machinery.)

GUS
So we try to clean them every
night. But make sure it’s off
before you open the intake valve...

Gus watches patiently as his employee gives it a try.

GUS
Good. Now, I suggest that you add
this to your Monday maintenance
schedule...

MANAGER
Yes, sir. Now select freezing
on... button off, press and hold
auto-control until it beeps... main
valve on, main switch on, give the
compressor time for the needle to
enter the green.

This all seems routine... until DING! A couple of fresh
customers enter through the restaurant’s glass door.

Gus doesn’t notice yet -- folks come and go all the time --
but we do. It’s the COUSINS, decked out in full regalia,
including their skull-toed BOOTS (We may even catch a glimpse
of the gray car they arrived in. It’s poor Mrs.
Peyketewa’s.)

The Cousins head for a far booth. They take their seats
BESIDE one another. Their gaze lingers our way a moment,
focused on Gus. Soon, though, they’re simply staring off
into space. Sitting motionless.

Gus gets this silent message loud and clear -- these two are
tired of waiting. They want Walter White. Now.



(CONTINUED)
BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 11
CONTINUED:


As Gus oversees his employee... he briefly glances back
behind him at the Cousins in b.g., who watch HIM. Keeping
the pressure on. Off this weirdly tense moment:


CLOSE ON - BLUE CRYSTAL

Light plays through the large, multi-faceted chunk -- it'd be
pretty if we didn't know this was Breaking Bad and that was a
crystal of meth...

When a GIANT HAPPY FACE looms into view. It's BADGER. WE'RE
LOOKING UP at him, as he admires the sparkling blue-ness.

BADGER
Yo, for real..? This is all you?
Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

Summary Walt and Skyler discuss their divorce and their son, but tension arises when they argue about the child support worksheet. Meanwhile, the Cousins wait for Walt at Los Pollos Hermanos, putting pressure on Gus. Badger admires a chunk of blue crystal, adding to the foreboding tone of the scene.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Tension between characters
  • Introduction of new antagonists
Weaknesses

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively conveys the tension and bitterness between Walt and Skyler, as well as the looming threat from the Cousins. The dialogue is sharp and reveals the characters' conflicting emotions.


    Story Content

    Concept: 7

    The concept of divorce and its impact on a family is explored, as well as the introduction of the Cousins as antagonists.

    Plot: 8

    The plot progresses as Walt and Skyler discuss the divorce and their son, while the Cousins' presence adds a sense of impending danger.

    Originality: 7

    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of a couple discussing divorce is a familiar one, the specific dynamics and conflicts between the characters feel authentic and fresh. The dialogue and character actions are believable and contribute to the overall authenticity of the scene.


    Character Development

    Characters: 9

    The characters of Walt and Skyler are well-developed and their conflicting emotions are portrayed effectively. The introduction of the Cousins adds intrigue and raises the stakes.

    Character Changes: 7

    While there is not a significant character change in this scene, it highlights the growing tension and bitterness between Walt and Skyler.

    Internal Goal: 8

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain a sense of control and dignity in the face of his crumbling marriage. He wants to appear resigned rather than bitter, and he wants to assure his wife that he will still provide for their family.

    External Goal: 7

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to finalize the divorce and discuss the arrangements for their son. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges the protagonist is facing in his personal life.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 8

    There is a high level of conflict between Walt and Skyler as they discuss the divorce and their differing perspectives. The presence of the Cousins adds a sense of external conflict.

    Opposition: 7

    The opposition in this scene is strong but not overwhelming. The protagonist and his wife have conflicting goals and beliefs, but the scene does not present a major obstacle or challenge that the audience is unsure how it will go.

    High Stakes: 8

    The stakes are high as Walt and Skyler discuss their divorce and the impact on their son, while the Cousins' presence adds a sense of danger and urgency.

    Story Forward: 8

    The scene moves the story forward by establishing the conflict between Walt and Skyler, as well as introducing the Cousins' desire to find Walter White.

    Unpredictability: 6

    This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces new conflicts and challenges for the characters. The audience is unsure how the characters will navigate their divorce and the impact it will have on their son.

    Philosophical Conflict: 6

    There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist and his wife. It challenges the protagonist's belief that he can still provide for his family and be a good father despite the divorce.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 7

    The scene evokes emotions of tension, bitterness, and concern for the characters' well-being.

    Dialogue: 9

    The dialogue is sharp and reveals the characters' emotions and conflicts. The sarcastic and bitter exchanges between Walt and Skyler are particularly impactful.

    Engagement: 8

    This scene is engaging because it presents a conflict between the characters and raises questions about their future and the impact of their decisions. The dialogue and emotional depth of the scene keep the audience invested in the characters' journey.

    Pacing: 8

    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing for moments of tension and reflection. The dialogue and narrative descriptions are well-paced and create a rhythm that keeps the scene engaging.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

    Structure: 9

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot and then alternates between two locations, using intercutting to show the parallel conversations between the characters.


    Critique
    • The scene starts with a description of the condo, which is not directly related to the plot or character development. Consider starting the scene with the phone call between Walt and Skyler to maintain focus.
    • The dialogue between Walt and Skyler feels a bit repetitive and lacks depth. It could benefit from more subtext and emotional tension.
    • The introduction of the Realtor and the discussion about the condo feels unnecessary and slows down the pacing of the scene.
    • The transition to Los Pollos Hermanos and the introduction of Gus Fring and the Cousins feels abrupt and disconnected from the previous conversation.
    • The scene ends with Badger admiring the blue crystal, which seems out of place and doesn't contribute to the overall plot or character development.
    • Overall, the scene lacks a clear purpose and fails to advance the story or deepen the characters.
    Suggestions
    • Consider starting the scene with the phone call between Walt and Skyler to maintain focus and establish the emotional tension between them.
    • Revise the dialogue between Walt and Skyler to add more subtext and emotional depth. Explore their conflicting emotions and desires regarding the divorce and their son.
    • Remove the unnecessary conversation with the Realtor and the discussion about the condo. This will help streamline the scene and maintain its focus.
    • Find a smoother transition between the conversation with Walt and Skyler and the introduction of Gus Fring and the Cousins. Consider using a visual or thematic connection to bridge the two parts of the scene.
    • Remove the scene with Badger admiring the blue crystal as it feels disconnected from the main plot and characters.
    • Ensure that each scene has a clear purpose and contributes to the overall story and character development.



    Scene 4 - Jesse's New Approach to Selling Meth
    INT. JESSE’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

    JESSE, SKINNY PETE and Badger sit around a glass-topped
    COFFEE TABLE set near the fireplace in Jesse’s spacious
    LIVING ROOM. There’s not much else furniture-wise in the
    room -- a dark SOFA, one CHAIR and a BOOM BOX plugged into a
    far wall -- Jesse’s only worried about the essentials.

    JESSE
    (quiet pride)
    All me.

    Badger looks for confirmation. Skinny Pete grins and nods.

    SKINNY PETE
    “Heisenberg who?” That’s what I
    say. My man Jesse can COOK!
    (points to the crystal)
    Check it, yo -- it ain’t cloudy or
    dirty or nothing. Just the right
    shade of blue...

    BADGER
    (nodding)
    Good shade.

    SKINNY PETE
    Check out the crystal size, yo. If
    that bitch was any bigger, it’d be
    a Jolly Rancher!

    Skinny holds up a fist to Jesse, who laughs and bumps
    knuckles -- right on! Jesse nods, waves a hand at Badger.

    JESSE
    Be my guest.

    (CONTINUED)
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 12
    CONTINUED:


    Oh indeed, Badger wants to. He fumbles in his pocket for a
    Bic lighter, crushes the crystal into powder with the butt
    end. However, lowering his head to take a snort, he pauses.

    BADGER
    You sure? I feel kinda dickish,
    with you being in rehab and all.

    JESSE
    I can watch, yo. I can cook, and I
    can watch.

    SKINNY PETE
    (off Badger’s look to him)
    Go for it. I tried it like last
    week -- I’m still coming down!

    Alright, fuck it. Badger grins -- don’t gotta tell ME twice!
    He drops his head out of frame and SNORTS a rail.

    JESSE
    Go easy.

    When Badger raises his face back into view, it’s like his
    hair’s on fire. In a good way. He’s practically trembling.

    BADGER
    WaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! --
    (jumps to his feet)
    Woo! Riverdance! Woo! RIVERDANCE!

    Badger goes clomp-clomp-clomping across the broad, empty
    living room, doing his best Michael Flatley. Skinny Pete
    cracks up, shaking his head to himself.

    JESSE
    Hey, hey, hey stop marking on my
    floor, dumbass. Come on.

    BADGER
    BOW BEFORE ME! I AM LORD OF THE
    DANCE!! --
    (stops jigging)
    Shit, I gotta try that again.

    Jesse interjects himself before Badger can get back to the
    powder for another hit.

    JESSE
    Uh, yeah, no -- I think you’re
    good.



    (CONTINUED)
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 13
    CONTINUED: (2)


    BADGER
    That is AWESOME, Jesse! I feel
    like somebody took my BRAIN out and
    boiled it in, like, boiling hot...

    SKINNY PETE
    (to Jesse)
    It’s the bomb, man. Serious.

    BADGER
    ... Like, like... anthrax!

    Jesse really, truly smiles for maybe the first time this
    season. He’s practically beaming. And why not? He’s proud.

    JESSE
    Good. So, um. You ready to talk
    some business?

    Badger and Skinny Pete share a wary look.

    SKINNY PETE
    You mean, this is not like just ...
    recreational?

    The boys share another look -- this is a touchy subject.
    Combo’s death-on-the-job is on everyone’s mind.

    JESSE
    I know what you’re thinking. But
    trust me, it’s not gonna be like it
    was. Never gonna be like it was.

    SKINNY PETE
    How’s that?

    JESSE
    We sell it safe. Alright? We sell
    it smart.
    (then)
    We don’t get greedy, like before.

    Badger glances sidelong at Skinny Pete, gauging his reaction.

    SKINNY PETE
    I dunno, man. Combo and all.

    Jesse nods, misses him too. He holds up a fist -- they all
    bump knuckles in honor of their lost compadre.

    A somber beat. Then Badger offers, cautiously:



    (CONTINUED)
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 14
    CONTINUED: (3)


    BADGER
    Still. Man’s gotta make his
    living.
    (off Skinny’s look)
    If it’s like Jesse says and we’re
    not greedy? I mean, I guess I can
    see it.

    Skinny Pete looks at him, considers. Yeah, okay. Maybe so.

    SKINNY PETE
    Had a good thing going ‘fore we
    started pushing our luck.

    BADGER
    Yeah.

    SKINNY PETE
    If it can go back to being like
    that and all...

    He shrugs. Nods reluctantly -- I’m in. Jesse smiles, nods.

    JESSE
    Hey. It will be. Step One, we
    build inventory. Badger, go see
    Clovis. Get the RV in shape. Tune
    up, oil change, brake lights and
    whatnot. Cops always pull you over
    brake lights. Not us. Cautious.

    SKINNY PETE
    Right on.

    BADGER
    You got it.

    JESSE
    Oh, and you know that buzzer thing?
    (what?)
    Leave the key in the ignition and
    it buzzes?

    BADGER
    Yeah..?

    JESSE
    Whatever. Just have him put in one
    of those, too.

    Badger nods, though he doesn’t know what Jesse’s talking
    about. We do -- the lack of a buzzer-thing got Walt and
    Jesse stranded in Episode 209.

    (CONTINUED)
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 15
    CONTINUED: (4)


    JESSE
    Skinny. You’re in charge of
    supplies. I’ll get you a list.

    SKINNY PETE
    Right on.

    JESSE
    Yeah?

    BADGER
    Yeah.

    JESSE
    Alright.

    Jesse’s Posse, redux. Off this happy moment...
    Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

    Summary Jesse, Skinny Pete, and Badger sit around a coffee table admiring Jesse's blue crystal meth. Badger hesitates to snort it due to Jesse's recent rehab stint, but eventually gives in and becomes ecstatic. Jesse proposes a new, safer approach to selling meth and assigns tasks to his crew. The conflict in this scene is resolved when Badger gives in and becomes ecstatic. The tone of this scene is lighthearted and optimistic. Key pieces of dialogue include Jesse proposing a new, safer approach to selling meth and assigning tasks to his crew. The scene ends with Jesse assigning tasks to his crew for their new approach to selling meth.
    Strengths
    • Engaging dialogue
    • Authentic character interactions
    • Establishing character dynamics
    Weaknesses
    • Lack of conflict
    • Limited emotional impact

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively establishes the tone and sets up the plot for future events. The dialogue is engaging and the characters' interactions are entertaining. However, there is room for improvement in terms of conflict and emotional impact.


    Story Content

    Concept: 7

    The concept of Jesse wanting to start a new, safer drug operation is interesting and adds depth to his character. However, it is not fully explored in this scene.

    Plot: 7

    The plot revolves around Jesse's plan to sell methamphetamine safely and avoid the mistakes of the past. It sets up the conflict between Jesse's desire for a fresh start and the lingering consequences of Combo's death.

    Originality: 6

    The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of characters using and discussing drugs is not unique, the specific dialogue and interactions between the characters feel authentic and fresh. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


    Character Development

    Characters: 8

    The characters are well-developed and their personalities shine through their dialogue and actions. Jesse's pride, Skinny Pete's laid-back attitude, and Badger's cautiousness are all evident in this scene.

    Character Changes: 5

    There is minimal character change in this scene. Jesse remains determined to do things differently, while Skinny Pete and Badger show some willingness to follow his lead.

    Internal Goal: 8

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to regain a sense of pride and accomplishment. Jesse takes pride in his ability to cook high-quality crystal meth and wants to prove himself to his friends.

    External Goal: 7

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to convince his friends to join him in selling the crystal meth they have cooked. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing, such as the death of their friend Combo and the need to make a living.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 5

    There is a mild conflict between Jesse's desire for a fresh start and the lingering consequences of Combo's death, but it is not the central focus of the scene.

    Opposition: 6

    The opposition in this scene is not particularly strong. While there is some hesitation and concern from the characters about returning to the drug business, it is ultimately resolved relatively easily.

    High Stakes: 6

    The stakes are relatively low in this scene, as it focuses more on setting up the new direction for the characters rather than immediate danger or consequences.

    Story Forward: 8

    The scene moves the story forward by establishing Jesse's new plan and the dynamics between the characters. It sets up future events and conflicts.

    Unpredictability: 7

    This scene is unpredictable because it introduces the possibility of the characters returning to the drug business, which is unexpected given Jesse's previous attempts to leave that life behind.

    Philosophical Conflict: 0

    There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 6

    The scene elicits some positive emotions, such as pride and excitement, but it lacks a deeper emotional impact.

    Dialogue: 9

    The dialogue is witty, authentic, and reveals the characters' personalities. It effectively conveys the camaraderie between Jesse, Skinny Pete, and Badger.

    Engagement: 9

    This scene is engaging because it showcases the characters' personalities and their dynamic interactions. The dialogue is lively and filled with humor, keeping the audience interested and entertained.

    Pacing: 8

    The pacing of the scene is effective in conveying the characters' emotions and the progression of their conversation. It allows for moments of humor and reflection, keeping the audience engaged.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions.

    Structure: 8

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with a description of the setting, introduces the characters, and progresses through their dialogue and actions.


    Critique
    • The scene lacks conflict and tension, which makes it feel somewhat flat and uneventful. It doesn't contribute much to the overall story or character development.
    • The dialogue feels a bit forced and unnatural at times, particularly in the exchange between Jesse and Badger about snorting the meth. It could benefit from more authentic and nuanced dialogue.
    • The scene could use more visual elements to enhance the storytelling and engage the audience. Currently, it relies heavily on dialogue and lacks visual interest.
    • The transition between the lighthearted moment of Badger snorting the meth and Jesse discussing their new approach to selling feels abrupt and disjointed. It could be smoother and more seamless.
    • The scene could benefit from more subtext and underlying tension. Currently, it feels too straightforward and lacks depth.
    • The pacing of the scene could be improved to create more momentum and keep the audience engaged.
    • The scene could use more sensory details to immerse the audience in the environment and make it more vivid and memorable.
    Suggestions
    • Introduce a conflict or obstacle for the characters to overcome in this scene. It could be something that challenges their new approach to selling meth or creates tension within the group.
    • Revise the dialogue to make it more natural and authentic. Consider adding subtext and layers of meaning to create depth and complexity.
    • Add more visual elements to enhance the storytelling. Show the characters' reactions, use visual metaphors, or incorporate symbolic imagery to engage the audience visually.
    • Smooth out the transition between the lighthearted moment and the discussion about their new approach. Find a way to connect these two elements more seamlessly.
    • Explore the characters' emotions and motivations in this scene. Show their internal conflicts and desires to add depth and complexity.
    • Consider adjusting the pacing of the scene to create more momentum. Cut unnecessary dialogue or actions and focus on the most essential moments.
    • Include sensory details to make the scene more immersive. Describe the sights, sounds, smells, and textures to bring the environment to life.



    Scene 5 - Goodbyes and Tension
    EXT. JESSE’S HOUSE - DAY (LATER)

    WE’RE OUTSIDE... in someone’s LONG-LENS POV. Watching the
    place from some distance up the road.

    The front door OPENS. It’s Jesse, saying farewell to his
    departing crew. Though we can’t hear what they’re saying
    from this distance, they’re clearly JAZZED.

    JESSE
    So, uh, we’re good?

    BADGER
    Yeah.

    JESSE
    Good?
    (off Pete)
    Alright

    SKINNY PETE
    Let’s do this.

    The trio stop to share an enthusiastic FIST BUMP, then Badger
    and Skinny Pete head off down the walkway. As Jesse
    disappears back into his house...

    ... REVEAL HANK. Hunkered down in his JEEP COMMANDER, his
    eyes focused through small BINOCULARS. Drawls to himself:

    HANK
    Brandon Mayhew. I know you.
    (then)
    Small world, Albuquerque...

    (CONTINUED)
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 16
    CONTINUED:


    He lowers his binoculars, jots down license plates. Clearly,
    wiretap or no, he’s ignored his boss about this case.

    Off Hank, watching the house... knowing he’s onto something:

    END OF ACT ONE
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 17


    ACT TWO

    CLOSE - A CLOCK RADIO

    BIG BLUE NUMERALS glow (and probably STROBE, but we’ll deal
    with it), filling frame. 5:59 AM changes to 6:00 and --

    -- BZZZZZZZZ! A man’s hand reaches into frame, precisely and
    neatly turning off the alarm. No sleepy fumbling.

    (PRODUCTION NOTE: if we keep this frame very TIGHT, we could
    shoot it most anywhere. The conceit is that it’s the bedroom
    of Walt’s new place... but if we shoot it elsewhere, we don’t
    risk banging up the upstairs of the Executive Producer’s new
    condo. So thank you.)


    INT. WELL-APPOINTED CONDO - MORNING - VARIOUS CUTS

    CLOSE ON a PB&J SANDWICH being constructed. It’s done with
    all the OCD care and neatness we’ve come to expect.

    WIDE -- Walt stands alone in the kitchen of his new place,
    dressed in Dockers and his undershirt. He cuts the crusts
    off his sandwich, fastidiously bagging it in Ziplock.

    CLOSE -- a dry-cleaning bag is pulled off a crisp OXFORD
    SHIRT as it hangs from a curtain rod or somesuch. A couple
    more CLOSE ANGLES of Walt putting on his shirt, buttoning it.

    CLOSE -- the BROWN-BAG LUNCH Walt just made gets set down
    atop the coffee table. How do we know it’s Walt’s? Because
    Walt has neatly printed “WALT” on it in black Magic Marker.

    WIDE -- Walt sits here in his wrinkle-free new shirt, poised
    on the edge of the living room sofa, his bagged lunch before
    him. He checks his watch. He’s nervous, anxious... but not
    in a bad way. In fact, he can’t wait to begin work.

    But he has to. It’s way early yet. So, Walt simply sits
    here, staring into space. Willing time to pass.

    It’s gotta be time now, right? He checks his watch again.
    No, unfortunately. Off Walt, waiting in antsy yet motionless
    silence... champing at the bit to get to his new LAB...

    Waiting for his life to start having meaning again...


    EXT. ALBUQUERQUE ROAD - MORNING

    VROOOOM! The AZTEK zips along, or past. Finally, it’s time!
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 18



    INT. WALT’S AZTEK - DRIVING - MORNING

    Actually, judging by the fact WALTER, JR. is riding shotgun,
    Walt is clearly doing his parental duty prior to work.

    Junior glumly stares out the windshield. Dad glances at him,
    keeps driving, glances once again.

    WALT
    You want to talk about it..?

    WALTER, JR.
    (a beat; finally)
    Why? It’s not like I get a vote.

    As excited for his new job as Walt is... as chipper as he’d
    otherwise be right now... his son’s pain pains him.
    Searching for something to say, something that will help:

    WALT
    You know... ironically, I think
    you’re gonna see much more of me
    from now on. For sure.
    (off Junior’s snort)
    Well, just as much of me, at least.
    I’m taking you to school, to and
    from, every day --

    WALTER, JR.
    -- What, I don’t get a vote with
    that, either?! I gotta stop going
    with Louis just because you’re
    feeling guilty?

    Ow. Silence. Eventually, Walt speaks again. Very quietly.

    WALT
    I do feel guilty.
    (a beat)
    I am the man that I am, son.
    And... there is plenty that I would
    change about that, but... here we
    are, and this is just what it is.

    He stares out the windshield, momentarily distant. Junior
    sneaks a glance... then goes back to staring forward, too.

    More silent driving. Walt looks to his son, manages a smile.

    WALT
    You know what? Call me crazy. But
    I-I’m actually feeling very good
    about the future.

    (CONTINUED)
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 19
    CONTINUED:


    Junior would like to feel that way, too. Off father and son:


    EXT. LOS POLLOS HERMANOS - MORNING

    The LOT is fairly FULL, it’s a busy morning. As a familiar
    VOLVO WAGON pulls into a far space, Gus emerging...


    INT. LOS POLLOS HERMANOS - MORNING - MOMENTS LATER

    Gus enters, makes his way across the noisy room... hesitating
    ever so slightly at the sight of two familiar BALD HEADS (we
    see them from behind, out of focus in f.g.). Guess who.

    REVEAL... THE COUSINS. Back again. Seated at their booth.
    No food before them. Sitting arrow-straight, side-by-side
    (like on the end of Walt’s bed in 302). They are not causing
    problems, not making a scene. And yet...

    There they sit, both facing the door, simply staring at Gus.
    Lifeless stares -- like a shark’s.

    Gus continues toward the counter, making a point to pass the
    pair. His expression revealing almost none of the rage
    behind his eyes. Almost none...

    He continues on, heading behind the counter. Stepping up to
    the Manager we met before. She speaks under her breath.

    GUS
    Ah... morning.

    MANAGER
    They’re ba-aack...

    She’s just a touch nervous, but trying for light-hearted.
    The cool look Gus gives her makes her smile fade a little.

    MANAGER
    I-I’m just wondering if we should
    maybe call the police or something.

    GUS
    Why? They’re doing nothing wrong.

    And furthermore, I don’t wish to discuss it -- that’s the
    polite and subtle message here, which the Manager receives.

    GUS
    Okay, let’s put this pepper here...



    (CONTINUED)
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 20
    CONTINUED:


    She nods, busying herself with her job. Off Gus, left gazing
    at the Cousins, who stare at him from across the restaurant:


    EXT. INDUSTRIAL LAUNDRY - MORNING

    Its blinker flashing, the Aztek turns off the street and
    motors up the driveway to...

    ... The corrugated steel building which houses the familiar
    INDUSTRIAL LAUNDRY. White steam rises from the roof.

    Walt parks and climbs out, bagged lunch in hand. He stands
    here a moment, breathes deeply. Taking the place in.

    Here he goes, headed inside. First day on the new job!
    Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

    Summary Jesse bids farewell to his crew as Hank watches from afar. Walt prepares for his day and has a tense conversation with his son on the way to school. Meanwhile, Gus enters Los Pollos Hermanos and encounters the Cousins, hinting at a potential conflict. The scene is filled with anticipation, tension, and unease as the characters navigate their respective conflicts.
    Strengths
    • Engaging dialogue
    • Character development
    • Tension-building
    Weaknesses
    • Lack of high stakes

    Ratings
    Overall

    Overall: 8

    The scene effectively sets up the new direction of the story and creates tension through the presence of Hank and the Cousins. The dialogue and character interactions are engaging, and the scene has a nostalgic tone that adds depth to the story.


    Story Content

    Concept: 7

    The concept of Walt starting a new job and facing the consequences of his actions is intriguing and sets up potential conflicts and character development.

    Plot: 8

    The plot progresses as Walt starts his new job and deals with the presence of Hank and the Cousins. The scene sets up potential conflicts and raises questions about the future direction of the story.

    Originality: 2

    This scene does not display a high level of originality. The situations and dialogue are relatively common and do not offer any fresh approaches.


    Character Development

    Characters: 9

    The characters are well-developed and their interactions reveal their personalities and motivations. Walt's anxiety and guilt, as well as his attempt to connect with his son, add depth to his character.

    Character Changes: 7

    Walt's character undergoes a subtle change as he confronts his guilt and tries to connect with his son.

    Internal Goal: 0

    The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is not clearly defined.

    External Goal: 5

    The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to start his new job at the industrial laundry.


    Scene Elements

    Conflict Level: 7

    There is a moderate level of conflict in the scene, primarily through the presence of Hank and the Cousins. The conflict adds tension and raises questions about the future.

    Opposition: 6

    The opposition in this scene is moderate, with the protagonist facing challenges and conflicts.

    High Stakes: 6

    The stakes are relatively low in this scene, but the presence of Hank and the Cousins hints at potential danger and consequences for Walt.

    Story Forward: 8

    The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new phase in Walt's life and raising questions about the future direction of the plot.

    Unpredictability: 4

    This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces new characters and hints at future conflicts.

    Philosophical Conflict: 0

    There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


    Audience Engagement

    Emotional Impact: 7

    The scene evokes a sense of nostalgia and anxiety, creating an emotional impact on the audience.

    Dialogue: 8

    The dialogue is natural and reveals information about the characters and their relationships. The conversation between Walt and his son is particularly impactful.

    Engagement: 6

    This scene is engaging because it introduces new elements and sets up future events.

    Pacing: 7

    The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and anticipation.


    Technical Aspect

    Formatting: 9

    The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre.

    Structure: 8

    The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre.


    Critique
    • The scene starts with a long-lens POV shot, which creates a sense of surveillance and intrigue. However, it is not clear who is watching Jesse's house and why. This lack of clarity can be confusing for the audience and should be addressed.
    • The dialogue between Jesse and his crew is brief and lacks depth. It would be beneficial to add more substance to their conversation to give the audience a better understanding of their relationship and motivations.
    • The introduction of Hank observing Jesse's house feels forced and out of place. It is not clear why he is there or what his intentions are. This subplot should be better integrated into the overall story to make it more meaningful.
    • The transition to Walt in his new condo is abrupt and lacks a clear connection to the previous scene. It would be helpful to establish a stronger link between Jesse's storyline and Walt's storyline to create a more cohesive narrative.
    • The detailed description of Walt's morning routine feels unnecessary and slows down the pacing of the scene. It would be more effective to focus on the key moments that reveal Walt's state of mind and build anticipation for his new lab.
    • The conversation between Walt and Walter Jr. in the car feels contrived and lacks emotional depth. It would be beneficial to explore their relationship in a more nuanced way to create a stronger emotional impact.
    • The introduction of Gus and the Cousins at Los Pollos Hermanos is intriguing, but their presence feels disconnected from the rest of the scene. It would be helpful to establish a clearer connection between their storyline and the other characters to create a more cohesive narrative.
    • The scene ends abruptly without a clear resolution or sense of closure. It would be beneficial to provide a stronger ending that leaves the audience with a sense of anticipation or intrigue.
    Suggestions
    • Clarify the identity and motivations of the person watching Jesse's house to create a stronger sense of suspense and intrigue.
    • Expand the dialogue between Jesse and his crew to provide more insight into their relationship and motivations.
    • Integrate Hank's subplot more seamlessly into the overall story to make it more meaningful and impactful.
    • Establish a stronger connection between Jesse's storyline and Walt's storyline to create a more cohesive narrative.
    • Streamline the description of Walt's morning routine to focus on key moments that reveal his state of mind and build anticipation.
    • Develop the conversation between Walt and Walter Jr. in the car to explore their relationship in a more nuanced and emotionally resonant way.
    • Establish a clearer connection between Gus, the Cousins, and the other characters to create a more cohesive narrative.
    • Provide a stronger ending that leaves the audience with a sense of anticipation or intrigue.



    Scene 6 - Walt meets his new lab assistant
    INT. INDUSTRIAL LAUNDRY - MORNING

    In what could well be shot as a ONER, Walt walks amongst
    various EMPLOYEES, who go about their business cleaning tons
    of LAUNDRY (we should use the folks who work at this place,
    as they know how to use the equipment).

    Remember, these are Gus’ folks -- they get paid to be deaf,
    dumb and blind, as it were. Walt has a smile and a nod hello
    for everyone. No one pays much attention to him. Whatever.

    Walt reaches the machine that hides the entrance to his lab.
    Without having to be asked, an employee operates the
    hydraulics, swinging the huge machine up and away. Off Walt,
    nodding thanks and stepping out of sight beneath it:


    INT. SUPERLAB - MORNING - MOMENTS LATER

    Walt steps into view onto the second-story CATWALK that looks
    out onto our lab from above. And though he’s seen it before,
    this place still gives him happy pause.

    Even if you’re not a chemist, you can’t help but be wowed by
    it all. It’s just so shiny... so high-tech... so right.

    VOICE (O.S.)
    Hello there! Uh, Mr. White, I
    presume?

    Walt looks down at a spot immediately beneath him -- notices
    a man seated at a workbench below. The man gives him a wave.




    (CONTINUED)
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 21
    CONTINUED:


    WALT
    Oh,yes, hi. I-I’m sorry, I’ll
    uh... I’ll be right down.

    Walt takes the spiral staircase, descending to the lab floor.
    Where he meets...

    GALE
    Hi, Gale Boetticher.

    They shake hands. GALE BOETTICHER (pronounced “BET-ick-er”),
    is a thirty-something fellow with a smiling face that’s open
    and gentle. In his dated jeans and denim shirt, he could be
    a post-doc scholar or a folk singer. Turns out he's neither.

    WALT
    Hi. You’re my new lab assistant, I
    take it.

    GALE
    Yes, I am. I suppose you’ll want
    to hear my qualifications.
    (reaching for papers)
    I have my, uh resume here for you.
    I received my bachelor’s degree
    from UNM, my master’s from the
    University of Colorado. Organic
    chemistry with a specialty in...
    it’s all right there.

    He breezes through this stuff, not wanting to be a blowhard.
    In fact, he’s a touch nervous -- but it’s not a nervousness
    that stems from being unprepared. Indeed, this guy is aces.

    WALT
    (reads; impressed)
    “X-ray crystallography...” Really?

    Gale nods, smiles. In fact, his nervousness is borne of
    respect. Walter White’s reputation precedes him.

    WALT
    I could talk about that for hours.

    GALE
    Ah, I would love to.

    WALT
    But first, I’m curious about
    this...




    (CONTINUED)
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 22
    CONTINUED: (2)


    He nods toward a contraption atop the workbench. Constructed
    of a couple of flasks, a small pressure vessel and a few
    lengths of polyethylene tubing, it looks a bit like Mini-Me’s
    version of a meth lab. BROWN LIQUID simmers inside it.

    Gale smiles, self-conscious.

    GALE
    Uhhh... that’s a-a little pet
    project of mine. See, in my
    opinion? It’s all about the quinic
    acid level -- you want just north
    of 4800 milligrams per liter. But
    if you over-boil to get there,
    you’re gonna leach your tannins,
    your bitterness. Yech. So...
    (taps pressure vessel)
    ... I pull a mild vacuum. That way
    I can keep the temperature no
    higher than ninety-two C...
    (grabs Walt a mug)
    ... judge for yourself.

    Gale turns a tiny TAP that looks like it should be releasing
    liquid uranium or somesuch. In fact, fresh, piping-hot
    coffee pours out. Gale hands Walt his steaming cup of joe.

    Gale watches with anticipation as Walt takes a sip. Well?

    WALT
    (softly, to himself)
    Oh my god.
    (another sip)
    My god. That is the best coffee
    I’ve ever tasted.

    GALE
    Sumatran beans. And I also have to
    give credit to the grind, but uh...
    (deep, quiet pride)
    Thank you, Mr. White.

    Need we even say it? Need we spell it out? This guy is the
    anti-Jesse. Walt smiles.

    WALT
    Walt. Please call me Walt.
    (after another sip)
    Why the hell are we making meth? --

    Gale beams again. Wow. As he pours himself one, and Walt
    raises his own mug in a toast -- Cheers! -- WE BEGIN:
    BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 23



    METH-COOK MONTAGE - TO MUSIC

    Unlike any cooking montage we’ve ever seen -- even the music
    should be different. Maybe we’re talking CLASSICAL here...
    or JAZZ... something complex, inspiring, uplifting...

    Visually... slow-mo, elegant wipes, split-screen, 360 degree
    stop-motion stills, fancy dissolves, time-lapse... this
    should be a celebration of chemistry...

    (NOTE: as we further define the Superlab process, the actor-
    action will expand, change, etc.)

    -- Walt and Gale don Tyvek suits amidst a spirited
    conversation...

    -- Walt carefully prepares some chemical concoction. As he
    reaches for a vial... he’s pleasantly surprised to find Gale
    right there, handing it to him...

    -- MORE SHOTS of the complex, high-end Thorium Process for
    crystallizing meth... in balletic SLOW-MO, giving it a
    lyrical beauty...

    -- Walt works with a focused intensity... as Gale pat-dries
    Walt’s FOREHEAD, like an attentive nurse...

    -- Downtime, as our two cooks face off in an intense game of
    CHESS (WEARING THEIR RESPIRATOR MASKS while they play?)

    -- Poisonous-looking, dirty YELLOW SMOKE gets sucked up into
    the air handling system overhead. Poof! Gone...

    -- Up on the ROOF of the laundry, it comes out as filtered,
    clean white STEAM...

    -- Gale now works the machinery... Walt looking on,
    admiration in his eyes... As the MUSIC ENDS...
    Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

    Summary Walt walks through an industrial laundry and enters the superlab where he meets his new lab assistant, Gale. They bond over coffee and begin a montage of cooking meth together. The scene takes place in the morning and there are no conflicts. The tone is positive and uplifting as Walt and Gale bond over their shared passion for chemistry. Gale introduces himself and shares his qualifications with Walt. They bond over coffee and discuss the process of making meth. The montage of cooking meth is visually stunning with slow-mo shots, split-screens, and fancy dissolves. The scene ends with Walt and Gale beginning their meth-cooking montage.
    Strengths
    • Engaging dialogue
    • Effective character introduction
    • Attention to detail in the meth cooking process
    Weaknesses

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 9

      The scene is well-written and engaging, providing important information about the characters and their work. The dialogue is natural and the pacing is appropriate. The scene effectively sets up the importance of the superlab and establishes the dynamic between Walt and Gale.


      Story Content

      Concept: 8

      The concept of the superlab and the meticulous meth cooking process is intriguing and unique. It adds depth to the story and showcases the expertise of the characters.

      Plot: 8

      The plot in this scene revolves around Walt meeting his new lab assistant, Gale, and their initial interaction. It sets up the partnership between the two characters and hints at the potential for conflict and collaboration in future episodes.

      Originality: 7

      The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting of an industrial laundry facility serving as a front for a meth lab is not entirely unique, the specific details and elements, such as the employees being paid to be oblivious to the illegal activities, the high-tech equipment in the lab, and the focus on the chemistry and process of meth cooking, add freshness and authenticity to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue also contributes to the originality.


      Character Development

      Characters: 9

      The characters in this scene, particularly Walt and Gale, are well-developed and interesting. Their dialogue and interactions reveal their personalities and establish their roles in the story.

      Character Changes: 5

      There is minimal character change in this scene, as it primarily serves to introduce Gale as a new character and establish his role as Walt's lab assistant.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assess and evaluate his new lab assistant, Gale Boetticher. This reflects his deeper need for a competent and knowledgeable partner in his meth cooking operation, as well as his desire for validation and recognition of his own expertise.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to continue the meth cooking operation in the lab. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing in maintaining his illegal business and ensuring the quality of the product.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 6

      The conflict in this scene is relatively low, as it focuses more on introducing the characters and their work. However, there is a hint of potential conflict between Walt and Gale, as well as the underlying conflict of Walt's involvement in the meth business.

      Opposition: 7

      The opposition in this scene is moderate. While there is no direct conflict or obstacle, the introduction of Gale as a new character creates a potential source of tension and opposition in the future.

      High Stakes: 5

      The stakes in this scene are relatively low, as it focuses more on establishing the characters and their work. However, there is a sense of the importance and potential consequences of their meth cooking operation.

      Story Forward: 8

      The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new location, the superlab, and a new character, Gale. It sets up the potential for future plot developments and conflicts.

      Unpredictability: 6

      This scene is somewhat unpredictable because it introduces a new character and presents a different dynamic in the meth cooking operation. The audience may not know how Walt and Gale's partnership will develop and what challenges or conflicts may arise.

      Philosophical Conflict: 0

      There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 6

      The emotional impact of this scene is relatively low, as it is more focused on establishing the setting and introducing the characters. However, there is a sense of anticipation and curiosity regarding the partnership between Walt and Gale.

      Dialogue: 9

      The dialogue in this scene is natural and engaging. It effectively conveys information about the characters and their expertise while also showcasing their personalities.

      Engagement: 8

      This scene is engaging because it introduces a new character, Gale Boetticher, who brings a different dynamic and energy to the story. The dialogue between Walt and Gale is intriguing and reveals their respective expertise and admiration for each other. The montage sequence also adds visual interest and excitement.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of the scene is effective in creating a sense of anticipation and excitement. The slow-motion shots, elegant wipes, and split-screen techniques in the montage sequence add a dynamic and visually engaging rhythm to the scene.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, action lines, character names, dialogue, and parentheticals in the appropriate places and formats.

      Structure: 9

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot and description of the location, introduces the protagonist's internal and external goals, and progresses with dialogue and action that develops these goals and moves the story forward.


      Critique null
      Suggestions null



      Scene 7 - Chemistry and Surveillance
      INT. SUPERLAB - AFTERNOON - LATER

      POP! A BOTTLE of red wine is uncorked. Nothing fancy,
      necessarily -- it’s just a nice touch. Thought of by Gale,
      of course, who’s the one popping it. He pours some into a
      couple of disposable plastic cups, hands one to Walt.

      Though still in their Tyvek suits, they’ve removed their
      masks. It’s the end of their first day. A job well done.

      WALT
      Hey...


      (CONTINUED)
      BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 24
      CONTINUED:


      GALE
      Tell me, with the phenylacetic acid
      solution, you said 150 drops per
      minute for the first ten minutes,
      and then ninety for the remainder.
      Why is that?

      Walt clearly enjoys such an eager pupil.

      WALT
      Well... my thinking is, by tapering
      the phenyl you get a oilier aqueous
      layer, and hence...

      GALE
      (getting it)
      ... better benzene extraction!

      Walt nods, pleased. Gale offers a toast, they tap cups --
      could this be any further from the Walt/Jesse partnership??

      WALT
      Exactly. But actually, I prefer
      ether.

      GALE
      ... I’ll-I’ll have it for tomorrow.

      Damn he’s good. Walt considers the man.

      WALT
      Gale. I’m wondering. How you..?

      Walt shrugs at this place. Gale picks up on his meaning.

      GALE
      ... Ended up here?

      WALT
      Actually, I’m still wondering how I
      ended up here, but... yes.
      (nods; with a smile)
      I mean, I can’t imagine we strike
      each other as criminals.

      GALE
      Well, there’s crime and then
      there’s crime, I suppose.
      (then)
      I’m definitely a libertarian.
      (MORE)



      (CONTINUED)
      BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 25
      CONTINUED: (2)
      GALE (CONT'D)
      Consenting adults want what they
      want -- and if I’m not supplying
      it, they will get it somewhere
      else. At least with me, they’re
      getting exactly what they pay for.
      No added toxins or adulterants.

      Walt couldn’t have said it better. However, sensing Walt
      wants more, Gale sips his wine, then continues.

      GALE
      Yeah, I was doing it the way you
      are supposed to. Pursuing my
      doctorate at Colorado. NSF
      research grant. I was on my way.
      Jumping through hoops -- kissing
      the proper behinds... attending to
      all the non-chemistry that one
      finds oneself occupied by.
      (then)
      You know that world.

      Walt does, indeed.

      GALE
      That is not what I signed on for.
      I love the lab. Because it’s all
      still magic, you know? Chemistry?
      I mean, once you lose that...

      WALT
      (very quiet)
      It is, it is magic. It still is.

      Gale smiles faintly, seeing Walt is touched by the same
      things he is.

      GALE
      And all the while, I kept about
      that great old Whitman poem.
      (Walt doesn’t follow)
      “When I Heard the Learn’d
      Astronomer.”

      WALT
      I don’t know it.

      GALE
      Ah. Anyway...

      WALT
      Well, can you recite it?



      (CONTINUED)
      BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 26
      CONTINUED: (3)


      GALE
      (embarrassed to say)
      Pathetically enough, I could.

      WALT
      Alright, well... No, no... come
      on. Come on.

      He looks to Walt -- sure you wanna hear it? Walt shrugs.

      Gale snorts. What the hell?

      GALE
      When I heard the learn’d
      astronomer;
      When the proofs, the figures, were
      ranged in columns before me;
      When I was shown the charts and the
      diagrams, to add, divide, and
      measure them;
      When I, sitting, heard the
      astronomer, where he lectured with
      much applause in the lecture-room,
      How soon, unaccountable, I became
      tired and sick;
      Till rising and gliding out, I
      wander’d off by myself,
      In the mystical moist night-air,
      and from time to time,
      Look’d up in perfect silence at the
      stars.

      Gale is no thespian -- he doesn’t ham this up or otherwise
      fill it with Shatnerian import. It’s just a simple
      recitation of a poem that has meaning for him.

      Walt nods appreciatively. Gale shrugs, self-conscious.

      GALE
      Yes, I am a nerd.

      WALT
      Bravo!

      GALE
      Thank you.

      Walt just smiles faintly. He’s one, too.
      BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 27




      INT. HANK’S JEEP COMMANDER - AFTERNOON

      An empty FAST FOOD BAG (NOT Los Pollos), a folded NEWSPAPER,
      BINOCULARS and such are spread across the passenger seat.
      A Big Gulp-size drink is in the cup holder. Rising off all
      this evidence of a man who lives in his car, we come upon...

      ... HANK. Head way back on the headrest, he’s fallen asleep
      behind the wheel. After a BEAT... he SNORTS awake. Gets his
      bearings. Finds the binoculars, taking a look at...

      HIS POV - JESSE’S HOUSE

      Jesse’s car is still there. No movement. Nothing to see.

      HANK (V.O.)
      Come on, Pinkman...

      HANK continues scanning as he murmurs to his unseen prey.
      Jesus, he’s looking bleary. Tired. A bit more STUBBLY, too.

      HANK
      C’mon, you little rat-bastard...
      get off your lazy ass and go break
      the law.

      He sighs and sets down the binoculars, takes a tug off his
      warm soda. Maybe rummages through an old food container for
      left-overs. As he does so, eyes still on Jesse’s house...

      ... A froofy RING-TONE from his CELL. Not even looking, Hank
      instantly recognizes the SOUND of it. Shit, not the greatest
      time to be calling here, Marie. Still, he dutifully answers.

      HANK
      Hey, Baby.

      MARIE (V.O.)
      Are you ever coming home?

      HANK
      Marie, I’m working, alright?

      INTERCUT WITH:
      Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

      Summary Gale and Walt celebrate the end of their first day in the superlab with wine and discuss their work. They share a moment of appreciation for chemistry. Meanwhile, Hank watches Jesse's house from his car and receives a call from Marie. The tone of this scene is reflective and contemplative. There are no conflicts or significant visual elements or actions. The scene ends with Hank talking to Marie on the phone about his work.
      Strengths
      • Engaging dialogue
      • Intimate tone
      • Character development
      Weaknesses
      • Lack of significant plot progression
      • Minimal conflict

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 9

      The scene effectively combines educational dialogue with a reflective and intimate tone, providing insight into the characters' motivations and creating a sense of connection between them.


      Story Content

      Concept: 8

      The concept of combining chemistry and poetry is unique and adds depth to the scene, highlighting the characters' intellectual and emotional connection to their work.

      Plot: 7

      The plot in this scene is not the main focus, but it serves to establish the characters' relationship and their shared passion for chemistry.

      Originality: 9

      This scene demonstrates a level of originality through its exploration of the characters' inner thoughts and emotions, as well as the use of scientific language and the inclusion of the poem. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


      Character Development

      Characters: 9

      The characters are well-developed and their passion for chemistry is evident in their dialogue and interactions. Their shared interest creates a strong bond between them.

      Character Changes: 4

      There is minimal character change in this scene, as it is more focused on establishing the characters' shared passion and connection.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to establish a connection and bond with Gale, the lab assistant. This reflects Walt's desire for recognition and validation of his expertise in chemistry.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather information about Gale's background and motivations. This reflects Walt's need to understand the people he is working with and assess potential risks.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 3

      There is minimal conflict in this scene, as it focuses more on establishing the characters' relationship and their shared passion for chemistry.

      Opposition: 6

      The opposition in this scene is not particularly strong, as there is no immediate conflict or obstacle for the protagonist to overcome. The tension comes from the philosophical differences between the characters.

      High Stakes: 2

      The stakes in this scene are relatively low, as it is more focused on character development and establishing the shared passion for chemistry.

      Story Forward: 5

      The scene does not significantly move the story forward, but it deepens the audience's understanding of the characters and their motivations.

      Unpredictability: 7

      This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements such as the poem recitation and the philosophical discussion between the characters. These elements add depth and complexity to the scene.

      Philosophical Conflict: 9

      There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between Walt's belief in the magic and beauty of chemistry and Gale's disillusionment with the academic world and focus on practicality. This challenges Walt's worldview and raises questions about the purpose and value of his work.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 7

      The scene evokes a sense of nostalgia and appreciation for the beauty of science, creating an emotional connection with the audience.

      Dialogue: 10

      The dialogue is engaging and informative, effectively conveying the characters' knowledge and passion for chemistry. The recitation of the poem adds depth and emotion to the scene.

      Engagement: 9

      This scene is engaging because it combines elements of suspense, intellectual discussion, and character development. The dialogue and interactions between the characters create intrigue and keep the audience invested in the story.

      Pacing: 8

      The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and reflection. The rhythm of the dialogue and the inclusion of pauses create a natural flow.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre by using proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. It also includes clear and concise action lines.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre by establishing the setting, introducing the characters, and developing their conversation. It also includes an intercut with another character's perspective to add tension and contrast.


      Critique
      • The scene lacks a clear objective or conflict. It seems to be a simple conversation between Walt and Gale, with no real stakes or tension.
      • The dialogue feels overly technical and heavy on exposition. It doesn't flow naturally and can be confusing for the audience.
      • The pacing of the scene is slow and could benefit from some tightening. There are moments where the dialogue drags and the scene loses momentum.
      • The visual elements are minimal and don't add much to the scene. It would be beneficial to incorporate more visual storytelling to engage the audience.
      • The transition between the Superlab and Hank's car feels abrupt and disjointed. It would be helpful to establish a smoother transition between these two locations.
      • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc or character development. It doesn't reveal anything new about Walt or Gale, and their conversation feels superficial.
      • The use of the poem recitation feels forced and out of place. It doesn't add much to the scene and comes across as a random inclusion.
      • The scene could benefit from more subtext and underlying tension. Adding layers of conflict or hidden agendas would make it more engaging and suspenseful.
      Suggestions
      • Establish a clear objective or conflict for the scene. This could be a disagreement between Walt and Gale, a hidden agenda, or a revelation that adds tension.
      • Simplify the dialogue and make it more accessible to the audience. Avoid excessive technical jargon and focus on creating natural, engaging conversations.
      • Consider tightening the pacing of the scene by trimming unnecessary dialogue and focusing on the most important moments.
      • Enhance the visual elements by incorporating more visual storytelling techniques. This could include using camera angles, visual metaphors, or symbolism to convey meaning.
      • Improve the transition between locations by establishing a clear connection or visual cue that links the Superlab and Hank's car.
      • Develop the emotional arc and character development by revealing new information about Walt and Gale. This could be done through their actions, reactions, or subtle hints in the dialogue.
      • Remove the poem recitation unless it serves a clear purpose in the scene. If it is important, find a way to integrate it more seamlessly into the conversation.
      • Add subtext and underlying tension to the scene by giving the characters hidden agendas or conflicting motivations. This will create a more engaging and suspenseful dynamic.



      Scene 8 - Hank Suspects Jesse of Selling Meth
      INT. SCHRADER HOUSE - KITCHEN - AFTERNOON

      Marie stands in their kitchen, talking on the cordless.
      She’s still in her work clothes and white lab coat, having
      just gotten home herself. She pulls back on the frustration
      a little, not wanting to start a fight.

      (CONTINUED)
      BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 28
      CONTINUED:


      MARIE
      Did you find it? The RV?

      HANK
      Nope. Working on it. So...

      MARIE
      Why can’t you just arrest him?
      Make him tell you?

      HANK
      Well, it’s not that simple, Baby.
      There’s a little thing called The
      Const --

      MARIE
      -- The Constitution, blah-blah-blah-
      blah-blah.

      She shakes her head, SO over it. On his end, Hank shakes his
      head as well... but for a different reason. A beat of
      exasperated silence, Hank watching the house, and then:

      HANK
      This kid? I swear to God -- I wish
      I could just...

      He sighs. Nope. Never mind.

      MARIE
      This is that Pinkman character?

      HANK
      That’s the one. I’m positive that
      little bastard’s got an RV, I just
      don’t know where he keeps it. And
      until he actually leads me to it --
      or does something! -- I’m stuck
      here, Marie. I’m sorry.

      Marie stands there, glum. Feeling for her poor husband.
      Considering. Something occurs to her now.

      MARIE
      Well, um, not to bring up ancient
      history, but ...
      (ah, what the hell?)
      I, for one, can think of someone
      who might know something.
      (shrug)
      Possibly. It’s worth a shot.



      (CONTINUED)
      BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 29
      CONTINUED: (2)


      HANK
      Yeah? Who?

      OFF Hank, listening to a name which we don’t yet hear...
      though some of our audience might indeed GUESS:


      INT. WELL-APPOINTED CONDO - AFTERNOON

      Home from work for the day, Walt lounges in his new living
      room, reading. His bare feet are propped atop the coffee
      table. He’s feeling pretty good.

      We reveal... he’s reading “Leaves of Grass,” by Walt Whitman.
      His expression tells us he’s sorta into it. Good stuff.

      Lying nearby, his cell phone RINGS. Walt answers it.

      WALT
      Hello.

      HANK (V.O.)
      Oh, hey, Buddy. Hey. How you
      doin’?

      WALT
      Oh, hey, Hank. What’s up?

      INTERCUT WITH:

      INT. HANK’S JEEP COMMANDER - HANK

      Behind the wheel, on his cell. Still eyeing Jesse’s house.

      HANK
      Listen, I hate to bother you. I
      just -- I just, uh, I just had a
      quick question.

      WALT
      Shoot.

      Hank handles this delicately. No offense intended.

      HANK
      Now, I only ask this because I’m...
      I’m at a, you know, a dead-end
      here, potentially. Uh, I’m working
      a case, and, uh...
      (starts over)
      You gotta know that, I would never
      put you on the spot or make you
      uncomfortable.

      (CONTINUED)
      BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 30
      CONTINUED:


      Walt sits up straight. What the hell is Hank on about?
      Where is this headed?

      WALT
      Hank, you could just... cut to the
      chase.

      HANK
      Back when we... lost you? And I
      was trying to track you down
      through your former student, Jesse
      Pinkman? Now... YOU know that I
      know that once upon a time, he may
      have, uh, dealt you a little weed.

      Walt is really listening now. Like, bionically.

      WALT
      Hank...

      HANK
      Just a little. And I SO do not
      care about that. As far as I’m
      concerned, you never inhaled, okay?
      Like you said, cut to the chase.
      Do you remember if this Pinkman kid
      ever had an RV?
      (misreads Walt’s silence)
      You know, a-a recreational vehicle.
      You know, like a-a Winnebago-type
      deal? Brown and beige?

      It takes a moment for Walt to recall how to breathe.

      WALT
      Uh... why?

      HANK
      Well, it’s a long story, but I’m
      personally of the opinion that he’s
      moved on from weed and has
      graduated to selling crystal meth.
      Using it as a rolling lab.
      (off the silence)
      Walt?

      Off Walt, his good day quickly gone bad... VERY bad:

      END OF ACT TWO
      BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 31


      ACT THREE

      INT. JESSE’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

      Jesse sits alone at the coffee table. No meth in sight,
      nothing but the yellow pad and a CALCULATOR before him. He’s
      crunching numbers for his new bidness plan.

      He taps the calculator... writes a result. Seems pleased
      with his projections, when... RING! It’s his DROP CELL.

      Jesse picks it up, squints at the CALLER READOUT before
      answering (we DON’T need an insert for this). He recognizes
      the incoming number immediately. Mr. White is calling?!
      What’s that douchebag asshole want?

      Frowning dyspeptically, Jesse’s curiosity nonetheless gets
      the better of him and he answers. Unfriendly and casual:

      JESSE
      Yo.

      DEAD AIR. Someone’s there, but not speaking. We cut to WALT
      on the other end, his own cell to his ear. His mouth is all
      set to form words, and yet... something keeps him SILENT.

      JESSE
      What? Mr. White..?

      CLICK. Walt hangs up. WE STAY WITH WALT now as he plots his
      next move. He moves into the living room, dials again.
      Ringing... ringing... c’mon, c’mon! ANSWER! Finally:

      SAUL (V.O.)
      How’s my favorite genius?

      WALT
      Is this a secure line??

      INTERCUT WITH:
      Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

      Summary Marie talks to Hank about finding the RV and suggests someone who might know something. Hank calls Walt and asks if Jesse ever had an RV, indicating his suspicion of Jesse selling crystal meth. Walt is shocked and hangs up. He then calls Saul to ask for a secure line. The scene ends with Walt calling Saul to ask for a secure line.
      Strengths
      • Engaging dialogue
      • Tension and curiosity
      • Introduction of a potential lead
      Weaknesses
      • Limited emotional impact
      • Minimal character development

      Ratings
      Overall

      Overall: 8

      The scene effectively conveys the frustration and exasperation of the characters, creating tension and curiosity for the audience. The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the investigation. However, the scene lacks significant emotional impact and character development.


      Story Content

      Concept: 7

      The concept of law enforcement trying to locate a criminal's RV and the introduction of a potential lead is interesting and keeps the audience engaged. However, it is not a groundbreaking concept.

      Plot: 8

      The plot progresses as Marie suggests a potential lead to Hank, which adds a new element to the investigation. This creates anticipation for the audience as they wonder if this lead will be fruitful.

      Originality: 5

      This scene does not contain any particularly original situations or fresh approaches. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue is consistent with the established narrative.


      Character Development

      Characters: 7

      The characters' frustration and determination are effectively portrayed through their dialogue and actions. However, there is limited character development in this scene.

      Character Changes: 5

      There is minimal character change in this scene. The characters' frustrations and determination remain consistent.

      Internal Goal: 8

      The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find out if Jesse has an RV. This reflects his deeper need to locate the RV and gather evidence against Jesse.

      External Goal: 7

      The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather information about Jesse's RV. This reflects the immediate challenge of locating the RV and progressing in the case.


      Scene Elements

      Conflict Level: 7

      There is a moderate level of conflict in the scene as the characters face obstacles in their investigation and express frustration. However, there is no direct confrontation or intense conflict.

      Opposition: 8

      The opposition in this scene is strong as Hank is facing challenges in locating Jesse's RV and Walt is hesitant to provide information.

      High Stakes: 7

      The stakes are moderately high as law enforcement is trying to locate a criminal involved in drug trafficking. However, there is no immediate danger or life-threatening situation.

      Story Forward: 8

      The scene moves the story forward by introducing a potential lead and creating anticipation for the audience. It adds a new element to the investigation.

      Unpredictability: 6

      This scene is somewhat unpredictable because the audience does not know how Walt will respond to Hank's question about Jesse's RV.

      Philosophical Conflict: 0

      There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


      Audience Engagement

      Emotional Impact: 6

      The scene lacks significant emotional impact as the focus is more on frustration and tension rather than deep emotional moments.

      Dialogue: 9

      The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the investigation and the characters' emotions. It effectively conveys frustration, curiosity, and tension.

      Engagement: 7

      This scene is engaging because it reveals new information about the case and creates suspense regarding the location of Jesse's RV.

      Pacing: 9

      The pacing of this scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The dialogue and actions flow smoothly, keeping the scene engaging.


      Technical Aspect

      Formatting: 9

      The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes proper indentation, capitalization, and punctuation.

      Structure: 8

      The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue.


      Critique
      • The scene starts off with Marie in the kitchen, talking on the cordless. The dialogue between Marie and Hank is a bit repetitive and could be tightened up to make it more engaging. The conversation about the Constitution feels forced and could be cut down to make the scene more concise.
      • The transition to Walt in his new condo is a bit abrupt and could be smoother. It would be helpful to have a visual cue or a line of dialogue to establish the change in location.
      • The conversation between Walt and Hank is filled with unnecessary pauses and repetition. It could benefit from more direct and concise dialogue to maintain the tension and suspense of the scene.
      • The scene ends with Jesse in his house, but the transition feels disjointed. It would be helpful to have a smoother transition or a visual cue to connect the scenes.
      • Overall, the scene could benefit from tighter dialogue and smoother transitions to maintain the tension and flow of the story.
      Suggestions
      • Consider cutting down on the dialogue between Marie and Hank to make it more concise and engaging.
      • Add a visual cue or a line of dialogue to establish the transition from Marie's kitchen to Walt's condo.
      • Streamline the dialogue between Walt and Hank to maintain the tension and suspense of the scene.
      • Improve the transition between Walt and Hank's conversation and Jesse in his house.
      • Work on tightening the dialogue and transitions throughout the scene to maintain the flow of the story.



      Scene 9 - Dealing with the DEA
      INT. SAUL GOODMAN’S OFFICE - SAUL

      Lies flat on the floor of his office, talking on his hands-
      free EARWIG. His suit jacket hangs on the back of a nearby
      chair. Wearing socks, no shoes, his ankles are cradled by a
      weird little Chinese MASSAGE MACHINE that rocks his legs from
      side to side (usually available in the SkyMall, this thing
      looks dopey as hell... but actually feels really good).

      SAUL
      Is this a secure..? Yes, what’s
      with the..?
      (MORE)

      (CONTINUED)
      BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 32
      CONTINUED:
      SAUL (CONT'D)
      (”what the fuck?” frown)
      Hey, hello to you, too.

      WALT
      Listen, we’ve got a problem. A DEA
      problem!

      SAUL
      (oh shit)
      Okay, I’m listening.

      WALT
      It’s my brother-in-law -- he knows
      about the RV!

      SAUL
      What RV?

      WALT
      Our RV. The one which contains a
      meth lab? Which is covered with my
      fingerprints?! Ring a bell?

      Saul sits upright, his butt on the floor and his ankles still
      getting rocked side to side. Yeah, this is bad.

      SAUL
      Okay. Yeah... what exactly does
      “knows about” mean? Does he have
      it, has he searched it --

      WALT
      No. He knows it exists and he’s
      trying to find it! He has linked
      it to Jesse and it’s only a matter
      of time before he tracks it down!
      So --

      SAUL
      -- So get rid of it! What’re you
      doing sitting there talking to me
      for?!
      (quickly reconsiders)
      Better yet, have Pinkman get rid of
      it! Right? You don’t you go near
      it!

      Walt shakes his head -- no, no, no.

      WALT
      No. Listen... My brother-in-law,
      he is surveilling Jesse’s house,
      you understand?
      (MORE)

      (CONTINUED)
      BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 33
      CONTINUED: (2)
      WALT (CONT'D)
      So he might have tapped the phones,
      or-or bugged his house...

      SAUL
      Jesus. Plan A, then. Go! Get to
      it before the feds do!

      WALT
      (fear and exasperation)
      And do what, exactly?! I mean,
      what? The thing -- the thing is...
      is the size of a-a... it-it’s RV-
      size! I mean, where do I go to
      make an RV disappear. I’m not
      David Copperfield.

      Saul stands up now, racking his brain. His Chinese massager
      rattles away, unattended.

      SAUL
      what do I look like, the RV
      disposal people? Did you not plan
      for this contingency?

      WALT
      No.

      SAUL
      Well... next time plan for it,
      wouldja?! The Starship Enterprise
      had a self-destruct button! I’m
      just saying.

      WALT
      Okay... Shut up.

      CLICK! Walt hangs up, realizing he’s gotten all the help
      from Saul he’s gonna get. Off him, fighting back panic and
      running for the door:
      Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

      Summary Saul lies on the floor with a Chinese massage machine while talking on the phone with Walt, who informs him about a DEA problem. Walt's brother-in-law knows about their RV, which contains a meth lab and is covered with Walt's fingerprints. Saul suggests getting rid of it before the feds do, but Walt is unsure how to make an RV disappear. The scene ends with Walt hanging up on Saul, realizing he's gotten all the help he's going to get.
      Strengths
      • Tense atmosphere
      • Sharp dialogue
      • Character dynamics
      Weaknesses

        Ratings
        Overall

        Overall: 9

        The scene effectively builds tension and conveys the urgency of the situation. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, and the characters' reactions add depth to the scene.


        Story Content

        Concept: 8

        The concept of the scene revolves around the characters' struggle to find a solution to the problem of their RV being discovered. It effectively creates a sense of danger and raises the stakes for the main characters.

        Plot: 9

        The plot of the scene revolves around the characters discussing the problem at hand and brainstorming possible solutions. It moves the story forward by introducing a new obstacle and highlighting the characters' resourcefulness.

        Originality: 7

        This scene is fairly original as it presents a unique situation of the protagonist needing to dispose of an RV containing a meth lab. The dialogue and actions of the characters feel authentic and true to their personalities.


        Character Development

        Characters: 9

        The characters' reactions and dialogue showcase their personalities and motivations. Saul is portrayed as resourceful and quick-thinking, while Walt is shown as desperate and willing to take risks. Their interactions add depth and tension to the scene.

        Character Changes: 7

        While there is not a significant character change in this particular scene, it does showcase the characters' resourcefulness and willingness to take risks in order to protect themselves.

        Internal Goal: 8

        The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find a solution to the problem of his brother-in-law knowing about the RV. This reflects his deeper fear of getting caught and his desire to protect himself and his illegal activities.

        External Goal: 9

        The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to figure out how to get rid of the RV before the authorities find it. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing and the consequences he wants to avoid.


        Scene Elements

        Conflict Level: 9

        The conflict in the scene arises from the characters' fear of being discovered and their urgent need to find a solution. It creates tension and drives the plot forward.

        Opposition: 8

        The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist is faced with the challenge of getting rid of the RV before it is discovered by the authorities. The audience is unsure of how he will overcome this obstacle.

        High Stakes: 10

        The high stakes in the scene revolve around the potential discovery of the meth lab RV, which could lead to the characters' arrest and the end of their illegal activities. The urgency and desperation of the characters highlight the importance of the situation.

        Story Forward: 9

        The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new obstacle and raising the stakes for the main characters. It sets up the next sequence of events and creates anticipation for the audience.

        Unpredictability: 8

        This scene is unpredictable because it presents a problem that the protagonist needs to solve, but the audience is unsure of how he will do it. The dialogue and actions of the characters keep the audience guessing.

        Philosophical Conflict: 0

        There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


        Audience Engagement

        Emotional Impact: 8

        The scene evokes fear, panic, and desperation in the characters, which in turn creates an emotional impact on the audience. The high stakes and the characters' reactions make the scene engaging and intense.

        Dialogue: 10

        The dialogue is sharp, witty, and filled with tension. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations, while also advancing the plot and revealing important information.

        Engagement: 9

        This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes problem and keeps the audience invested in the characters' actions and dialogue. The witty and humorous dialogue also adds to the engagement.

        Pacing: 9

        The pacing of the scene is effective as it keeps the audience engaged and maintains a sense of urgency. The dialogue and actions flow smoothly and contribute to the overall effectiveness of the scene.


        Technical Aspect

        Formatting: 9

        The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, character names, dialogue, and action descriptions.

        Structure: 9

        The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It introduces the problem, presents the characters' reactions and dialogue, and ends with a resolution.


        Critique
        • The scene starts with a description of Saul lying flat on the floor with a weird little Chinese massage machine. While this visual detail adds some quirkiness to the scene, it feels unnecessary and distracting. It doesn't contribute much to the overall story or character development.
        • The dialogue between Saul and Walt is mostly focused on exposition and problem-solving. While this is necessary to move the plot forward, it lacks depth and emotional resonance. The conversation feels rushed and lacks the tension and urgency that should be present given the gravity of the situation.
        • The dialogue also lacks subtext and nuance. It would be more interesting to explore the underlying emotions and motivations of the characters. For example, Saul could express his frustration with Walt's lack of planning in a more subtle and sarcastic way, rather than directly stating it.
        • The scene could benefit from more visual elements and actions to break up the dialogue and add visual interest. This could include showing Walt's increasing panic and desperation through his physical movements and facial expressions.
        • The pacing of the scene could be improved by adding more pauses and beats between the lines of dialogue. This would allow the audience to absorb the information and create a sense of tension and anticipation.
        • The ending of the scene, with Walt hanging up on Saul, feels abrupt and could be strengthened by adding a final line or action that emphasizes Walt's state of mind and sets up the next scene.
        • Overall, the scene lacks depth and emotional resonance. It could benefit from more nuanced dialogue, stronger visual elements, and a more deliberate pacing.
        Suggestions
        • Consider removing or minimizing the description of Saul lying on the floor with the massage machine. Focus on more essential visual details that contribute to the story and character development.
        • Add subtext and nuance to the dialogue by exploring the underlying emotions and motivations of the characters. Use sarcasm, irony, and other rhetorical devices to make the conversation more engaging.
        • Introduce more visual elements and actions to break up the dialogue and add visual interest. Show Walt's increasing panic and desperation through his physical movements and facial expressions.
        • Experiment with the pacing of the scene by adding pauses and beats between the lines of dialogue. This will create a sense of tension and anticipation.
        • Consider adding a final line or action that emphasizes Walt's state of mind and sets up the next scene, providing a more satisfying ending to the scene.



        Scene 10 - Walt demands the RV be wiped clean
        EXT. TOW YARD - AFTERNOON

        The cluttered auto repair spot where Jesse has been housing
        the RV. And THERE IT IS, parked off to one side within the
        fenced-in yard.

        Hood open, it’s being worked on by Badger’s cousin, CLOVIS --
        although we only see his legs at first, as he’s lying on a
        mechanic’s creeper and working beneath the engine. Badger
        stands by, sipping malt liquor and talking through the hood.




        (CONTINUED)
        BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 34
        CONTINUED:


        BADGER
        ... I’m just saying, you know,
        you’re good with tools and all.
        why don’t you invent a water-
        powered car, y’know?
        (Clovis doesn’t answer)
        If you did that, you would be
        ROLLING in it!

        CLOVIS slides out into view, snaps his fingers and points.

        CLOVIS
        Socket wrench. The big one.

        Badger finds what he’s asking for, hands it down. Clovis
        rolls back underneath the engine.

        BADGER
        What, you scared of the Arabs?

        A SQUEAL of tires catches Badger’s attention. He looks as...

        ... WALT'S AZTEK makes a SHARP TURN off the nearby road,
        BARRELLING into the yard and SKIDDING to a stop. Walt jumps
        out, approaches the RV with a shocked look on his face.

        Clovis rolls out from under, rising to his feet. Wary, he
        doesn’t know Walt from Adam. Badger recognizes him, but
        doesn’t have a clue why he’s here.

        WALT
        Are you out of your minds? Why is
        this out in the open?!

        CLOVIS
        Who the hell are you?

        BADGER
        (on the q.t.)
        He’s -he’sHeisenberg...

        The name means nothing to Clovis. Not that Walt cares -- he
        peers under the hood, peppering Clovis with questions.

        WALT
        Is this driveable? Does it run?? --

        CLOVIS
        Yeah. I was just changing the oil.




        (CONTINUED)
        BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 35
        CONTINUED: (2)


        WALT
        Well, finish it. Quickly. We’ll
        wipe it clean and take it out to
        the desert. Come on, help me.

        CLOVIS
        -- hold up. What’s this about?

        WALT
        The DEA -- the Drug Enforcement
        Administration -- you’ve heard of
        them, haven’t you? I know you
        have!
        (Walt means Badger)
        They know all about this RV. And
        they’re trying to find it, right
        now!

        Badger’s still processing all of this -- but Clovis sees the
        implications immediately. Tosses Walt the KEYS.

        CLOVIS
        I want this off my property NOW.

        WALT
        No, no, no, no, no. We have got to
        destroy the evidence! We gotta rig
        it to burn, wdo you understand?

        CLOVIS
        Not here, you’re not! Just get it
        the hell outta here!

        WALT
        Now listen to me. I need your
        help, okay?! If I go down, we all
        go down. Do you understand?

        Clovis has no argument. Either way, Walt’s not taking no for
        an answer. Even though Clovis towers over him, Walt’s
        INTENSITY -- quiet and tightly wound, yet threatening to
        utterly EXPLODE at any second -- intimidates this bigger man.

        CLOVIS
        Alright, just... I know a better
        way.
        (off his look)
        I know a guy that’ll wipe this off
        the planet. No questions asked.

        Walt nods. Sounds good.



        (CONTINUED)
        BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 36
        CONTINUED: (3)


        WALT
        Call him.

        Clovis nods, heads for the OFFICE -- Walt following.

        BADGER
        Hey.. what about Jesse?

        WALT
        What about him? --

        Walt shakes his head in disgust, doesn’t even slow to
        consider this. He and Clovis pass quickly out of sight.
        Badger stares after them, pondering. Troubled.

        Better call it in. He pulls out his CELL, hits speed-dial
        and puts it to his ear. After a moment:

        BADGER
        Hey, it’s me. Wanna hear something
        weird..?


        EXT. JESSE’S HOUSE - AFTERNOON

        Sixty seconds later. Jesse erupts out of the front door of
        his house, pulling on a jacket or somesuch. He’s got his
        CELL propped to one ear, in mid-conversation.

        JESSE
        No... listen to me, you get that
        address...
        (then)
        ... Badger, I don’t care how, you
        find out where he’s taking it!

        Jesse HANGS UP. Climbs in his car and ROARS off, infuriated.

        HANK
        Oh, yeah.

        ... WE FIND Hank’s COMMANDER in deep background. Still
        there, on watch. The truck STARTS UP, CHUNKS into gear and
        follows discreetly. As it PASSES US... we can clearly see
        HANK behind the wheel, happily on the hunt again.


        INT. LOS POLLOS HERMANOS - AFTERNOON

        A MOTHER carries a tray of food, young SON in tow, looking
        for seating. The place is PACKED, a busy lunch crowd. She
        slows at one particular table with NO FOOD on it.


        (CONTINUED)
        BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 37
        CONTINUED:


        MOTHER
        Excuse me... are you leaving?

        NOW WE REVEAL who’s seated there... you guessed it...

        THE COUSINS. Still haunting Gus. They slowly GAZE UP at the
        unsuspecting woman... and give her a look that says, no
        fucking way. As the woman sighs, moving on...

        ... REVEAL Gus and the Manager behind the counter. The nice
        young Manager scowls at the Cousins -- she’s had enough.

        As she heads around the counter, Gus looks on, stoic. WE GO
        WITH the Manager as she steps up fearlessly to the Cousins.

        MANAGER
        Excuse me. Gentlemen, these booths
        are for paying customers, only.

        The Cousins SLOWLY LOOK UP at her. Before things get ugly...

        GUS (O.S.)
        Cynthia, it’s okay. I’ll handle
        this.

        Gus appears from behind. The Manager nods, returns to her
        post behind the counter. Now Gus steps up to the Cousins’
        table. This time, he speaks in Spanish (SUBTITLED).

        GUS
        What can I do for you?

        FIRST COUSIN
        You know.

        The man says this quietly, not angrily... and yet, seeing as
        it’s the FIRST TIME we’ve ever heard either of these Cousins
        actually SPEAK, well...

        ... It’s memorable. Gus considers them for a beat. Then:

        GUS
        Sunset.

        The Cousins seem to know what this means. One rises, then
        the other... EXITING without another glance at Gus. Who
        watches them go, his eyes hinting at an inner rage we’ve
        never seen before. OFF this...
        BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 38
        Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

        Summary Walt arrives at the tow yard to find the RV being worked on by Badger's cousin, Clovis. He demands that they wipe the RV clean and destroy the evidence before the DEA finds it. Clovis agrees to help and calls a guy who can make the RV disappear. Meanwhile, Jesse receives a call from Badger and rushes to find out where the RV is being taken. The Cousins are still haunting Gus at Los Pollos Hermanos, but Gus handles the situation calmly and speaks to them in Spanish. They leave without incident. The scene ends with Walt and Clovis heading to call the guy who can make the RV disappear, and the Cousins leaving Los Pollos Hermanos without incident.
        Strengths
        • Intense dialogue
        • High stakes
        • Tense atmosphere
        Weaknesses
        • Limited character development

        Ratings
        Overall

        Overall: 9

        The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with strong dialogue and intense character interactions.


        Story Content

        Concept: 8

        The concept of disposing of the RV to avoid detection is compelling and drives the tension in the scene.

        Plot: 9

        The plot is well-developed and drives the urgency and conflict in the scene.

        Originality: 7

        The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of characters trying to destroy evidence to avoid getting caught is a familiar one, the specific details and actions of the characters add a fresh approach to the scene. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


        Character Development

        Characters: 9

        The characters are well-defined and their interactions create tension and suspense.

        Character Changes: 7

        While there is not significant character change in this scene, it further establishes the high stakes and Walt's determination to protect his operation.

        Internal Goal: 8

        The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to protect himself and his associates from the DEA's investigation. This reflects his deeper need for self-preservation and his fear of getting caught.

        External Goal: 9

        The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to quickly finish working on the RV and take it out to the desert to destroy the evidence. This reflects the immediate circumstances of the DEA's search for the RV and the challenge of avoiding detection.


        Scene Elements

        Conflict Level: 10

        The conflict in the scene is high, with Walt desperately trying to convince Clovis to help him dispose of the RV.

        Opposition: 8

        The opposition in this scene is strong as the protagonist faces the challenge of avoiding detection by the DEA and must convince Clovis to help him.

        High Stakes: 10

        The stakes are extremely high in this scene, as the characters risk exposure and arrest by the DEA.

        Story Forward: 9

        The scene moves the story forward by introducing the urgency to dispose of the RV and avoid detection by the DEA.

        Unpredictability: 8

        This scene is unpredictable because it introduces a new obstacle for the protagonist and leaves the audience unsure of how the situation will be resolved.

        Philosophical Conflict: 0

        There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


        Audience Engagement

        Emotional Impact: 8

        The scene evokes tension and suspense, creating an emotional impact on the audience.

        Dialogue: 10

        The dialogue is sharp, intense, and reveals important information about the characters and their motivations.

        Engagement: 9

        This scene is engaging because it introduces a new challenge for the protagonist and raises the stakes of the story. The dialogue and actions of the characters create tension and suspense.

        Pacing: 9

        The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of urgency and tension. The quick dialogue and actions of the characters keep the scene moving at a fast pace.


        Technical Aspect

        Formatting: 9

        The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.

        Structure: 9

        The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It establishes the setting, introduces the characters, and presents the conflict and goals of the protagonist.


        Critique
        • The scene starts with a clear description of the setting and the characters involved, which is good. However, the dialogue feels a bit forced and unnatural at times. It could benefit from more subtlety and nuance.
        • The introduction of Walt's character could be stronger. His entrance into the scene is abrupt and lacks a clear motivation. It would be helpful to establish his urgency and desperation more effectively.
        • The interaction between Walt and Clovis feels rushed and lacks depth. There is an opportunity to explore the tension and power dynamics between them in a more meaningful way.
        • The transition between scenes could be smoother. It feels disjointed to suddenly shift from the tow yard to Jesse's house without any clear connection.
        • The dialogue between Jesse and Badger could be more focused and purposeful. It currently feels like filler dialogue that doesn't contribute much to the overall story.
        • The interaction between Gus and the Cousins at Los Pollos Hermanos is intriguing, but it could benefit from more context and clarity. The significance of their exchange is not fully conveyed.
        • Overall, the scene lacks a strong sense of conflict and tension. It feels like a series of disconnected events rather than a cohesive narrative.
        • The visual descriptions in the scene are minimal and could be enhanced to create a more vivid and engaging visual experience for the reader.
        Suggestions
        • Consider rewriting the dialogue to make it more natural and nuanced. Focus on subtext and character motivations to create more depth in the interactions.
        • Revisit Walt's entrance into the scene and establish his urgency and desperation more effectively. This will help to create a stronger emotional impact.
        • Take the time to develop the relationship between Walt and Clovis. Explore the power dynamics and tension between them to add depth to their interaction.
        • Improve the transition between scenes by establishing a clear connection or throughline that ties them together. This will create a more seamless and cohesive narrative.
        • Revise the dialogue between Jesse and Badger to make it more purposeful and relevant to the overall story. Cut any filler dialogue that doesn't contribute to the scene.
        • Provide more context and clarity in the interaction between Gus and the Cousins at Los Pollos Hermanos. Make the significance of their exchange more apparent to the reader.
        • Introduce more conflict and tension into the scene to create a sense of urgency and suspense. This will make the scene more engaging and compelling for the audience.
        • Enhance the visual descriptions in the scene to create a more vivid and immersive reading experience. Use descriptive language to paint a clear picture in the reader's mind.



        Scene 11 - Walt and Jesse Panic as Hank Blocks Them In
        EXT. CRUSHER YARD - AFTERNOON

        Even more isolated than Clovis' place -- WE PAN through this
        graveyard of SCRAP METAL and rusty HULKS. The yard's most
        prominent feature... a massive CAR CRUSHER. Which GROANS and
        SCREECHES as it devours some large vehicle WHOLESALE.

        WE CONTINUE until we find... JESSE'S RV parked nearby, pulled
        nose-in to a spot between piles of crushed CARS.

        CLOSE ON - MONEY

        Crisp HUNDREDS. Rapidly counted out into a wizened HAND.

        WALT (O.S.)
        ... Ninety-six, ninety-seven,
        ninety-eight...

        INT. RV - AFTERNOON - WALT

        Counts out bills to a wizened OLD MAN (JOE). A weathered
        desert-rat in his 70's -- he's clearly seen some mileage, his
        face as wrinkled as one of his crushed cars.

        WALT
        ... Ninety-nine, one hundred.
        (then, triple-checking)
        Beyond recovery. Right? “Beyond
        recovery” means --

        OLD JOE
        I get it. Beyond recovery.

        WALT
        Obliterated. No evidence.

        OLD JOE
        Hey. Don’t worry. When we’re
        through with it, it’s gonna be
        about yay big, okay?

        Joe indicates about four feet square.

        OLD JOE
        Then we flatbed it over to Long
        Beach, ship it across the
        Pacific... the Chinese turn it into
        patio furniture. So. Mind at
        ease.

        Walt nods, finally beginning to calm down just a little.
        Whew, this was too close. Finally:

        (CONTINUED)
        BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 39
        CONTINUED:


        WALT
        Listen, can you do me a favor?
        (re: the soon-gone RV)
        I’m obviously gonna need a ride.
        Could you call a cab?

        Old Joe heads for the door.

        OLD JOE
        You got it. Pleasure doing
        business...

        WALT
        Thank you. I’ll be right behind
        you. I just need to...

        He indicates a quick look around. Joe nods, exits. Walt
        does one last once-over: checks the glove box, peers in
        corners, looks high, low and everywhere. He needs to see if
        anything important or particularly incriminating is getting
        left behind (most lab stuff is BOXED or TARPED, by the way).

        Soon Walt realizes he’s good. Safe. At which point this
        turns into a moment of bittersweet reflection.

        It’s an abbreviated moment, to be sure, as the heat is on.
        But after all, this RV holds a lot of meaning for Walt (and
        for us, as well). Bad days and good days were spent here.
        Lotta water under the bridge, as they say.

        The place is amateur-hour compared to Walt’s new superlab.
        Still... there’s a whole lotta memories in this hunk of junk.

        Suddenly... BANG! The RV door flies open (or maybe Old Joe
        never fully closed it). JESSE barges in, pissed.

        JESSE
        The hell you think you’re DOING?!
        Huh?! --

        Taken by surprise, Walt is about to give it right back to
        Jesse -- when something DAWNS.

        WALT
        Me?

        Fear grows in Walt’s eyes. Jesse notices, is maybe a touch
        confused, but hey, he’s on a roll and --

        JESSE
        This is mine just as much as yours!
        You don’t get to just -- just --


        (CONTINUED)
        BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 40
        CONTINUED: (2)


        WALT
        Oh God. Oh God.

        JESSE
        What?

        Before he finishes, Walt has already rushed past him to the
        BACK WINDOW. Peering through the shade, his eyes widen as
        his worst fears come true.

        WALT’S POV -- glimpsed through the curtain, HANK’S COMMANDER
        is rounding into view into the yard (currently as far away as
        possible while still achieving the proper audience
        identification and impact). Oh, yeah -- it’s headed our way!

        WALT, of course, PANICS. He RUSHES around, slamming and
        locking the DOOR, shutting CURTAINS, closing the DRAPES that
        separate the cab. Jesse watches him, confused.

        JESSE
        What?

        WALT
        He’s here.

        JESSE
        Who’s here? --

        Jesse peeks out the back window himself. Yeah, there’s that
        same exact Ohhh FUCK!-look now. He turns to Walt, wide-eyed.

        Walt is so dry-mouthed with fear that he’s not even angry.

        WALT
        Oh, God. You led him right to us.

        As it comes crushing down on Jesse how much shit they’re in:

        EXT. CRUSHER YARD - AFTERNOON - CONTINUOUS

        The Commander slows to a stop, idling. We can see the rear
        end of the RV REFLECTED in the WINDSHIELD... and through it,
        we see Hank behind the wheel, staring out.

        WIDE. We, in turn, now reveal that Hank has parked his truck
        directly behind the RV, BLOCKING IT IN very nicely. (Jesse’s
        red Toyota is parked here somewhere nearby, by the way.)

        Like Ahab, Hank gazes out at his white whale, savoring this
        moment. Victory. It’s been a long time coming.

        END OF ACT THREE
        BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 41


        ACT FOUR

        EXT. CRUSHER YARD - AFTERNOON - SECONDS LATER

        We start HIGH OVER Hank’s COMMANDER. As high as we can get.
        Looking down as Hank climbs out of his truck. Leaves the
        driver’s door open for cover as he stands here appraising the
        situation.

        Hank is going on forty-eight hours without sleep. Mentally
        and physically exhausted as he is, however, he’s still a good
        cop. He knows Jesse is no match for him -- unless Jesse has
        a gun, or maybe a few friends around.

        Therefore, Hank takes this cautiously (though perhaps not
        cautiously enough, as this is a “call for backup” situation,
        and not one he should take on alone). Still, he’s not
        arrogant. He’s careful, patient.

        Which only makes it worse for our two boys inside the RV.

        INTERCUT WITH:
        Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Thriller"]

        Summary Walt pays Old Joe to crush the RV, but Jesse barges in angry and confused. They both panic when they see Hank's Commander approaching and blocking them in. The conflict arises when Jesse accuses Walt of trying to get rid of the RV without him. The scene takes place in a crusher yard filled with scrap metal and a massive car crusher. The tone of this scene is tense and panicked. The visual elements include the massive car crusher devouring a vehicle, the RV parked between piles of crushed cars, and Hank's Commander blocking them in. The scene ends with Hank approaching and blocking them in, leaving Walt and Jesse panicked and trapped.
        Strengths
        • Tension-building
        • Character development
        • Dialogue
        Weaknesses

          Ratings
          Overall

          Overall: 9

          The scene is highly engaging and suspenseful, with the tension escalating as Hank approaches the RV. The emotional impact is strong, as Walt realizes the gravity of the situation and the potential consequences. The dialogue is well-written and reveals the complex dynamics between the characters. The scene effectively moves the story forward and sets up a crucial conflict.


          Story Content

          Concept: 8

          The concept of the scene revolves around the imminent threat of discovery and the characters' desperate attempts to cover their tracks. It effectively showcases the consequences of their actions and the emotional toll it takes on them.

          Plot: 9

          The plot of the scene revolves around the confrontation between Walt, Jesse, and Hank, with the RV serving as a focal point. The stakes are high, and the scene builds suspense and anticipation effectively.

          Originality: 6

          The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the setting of a crusher yard and the specific actions of the characters may not be entirely unique, the dialogue and the way the scene builds tension and suspense are fresh and engaging. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


          Character Development

          Characters: 9

          The characters are well-developed and their motivations and emotions are effectively portrayed. Walt's fear and attachment to the RV, Jesse's anger and confusion, and Hank's determination are all conveyed convincingly.

          Character Changes: 8

          Walt experiences a significant shift in his emotions and mindset as he realizes the danger they are in. His fear and panic contrast with his earlier calmness. Jesse also undergoes a change as he confronts Walt and realizes the gravity of the situation.

          Internal Goal: 8

          The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to ensure that there is no evidence left behind in the RV that could incriminate him. This reflects his fear of getting caught and his desire to protect himself and his criminal activities.

          External Goal: 7

          The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find a way to escape from the crusher yard without being caught by Hank, who has arrived in his commander vehicle and is blocking the RV. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of evading law enforcement.


          Scene Elements

          Conflict Level: 9

          The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered. There is a conflict between Walt and Jesse, as well as the external conflict with Hank's arrival. The stakes are high, and the characters' actions and decisions have significant consequences.

          Opposition: 8

          The opposition in this scene is strong, as the protagonist is faced with the challenge of evading law enforcement and hiding evidence. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will overcome this obstacle.

          High Stakes: 10

          The stakes are extremely high in the scene, as the characters face the threat of discovery by Hank, which could have severe consequences for their lives and illegal activities.

          Story Forward: 9

          The scene moves the story forward by introducing a major conflict and raising the stakes for the characters. It sets up the next phase of the narrative and creates anticipation for the resolution.

          Unpredictability: 7

          This scene is unpredictable because the arrival of Hank and the confrontation between the characters create a sense of uncertainty and tension. The audience does not know how the situation will unfold.

          Philosophical Conflict: 0

          There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


          Audience Engagement

          Emotional Impact: 9

          The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly fear, anxiety, and reflection. The audience is invested in the characters' fates and feels the weight of the situation.

          Dialogue: 8

          The dialogue is sharp and reveals the characters' personalities and conflicts. It effectively conveys the tension and emotions in the scene.

          Engagement: 9

          This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of suspense and danger, with the protagonist trying to hide evidence and escape from law enforcement. The dialogue and actions of the characters keep the audience invested in the outcome.

          Pacing: 9

          The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The quick dialogue exchanges and the protagonist's frantic actions contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


          Technical Aspect

          Formatting: 9

          The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper use of capitalization, punctuation, and scene transitions.

          Structure: 8

          The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.


          Critique
          • The scene starts with a description of the crusher yard, but it lacks a clear sense of atmosphere or mood. Adding more sensory details and vivid language could help create a stronger visual image for the reader.
          • The dialogue between Walt and Old Joe feels a bit forced and on-the-nose. It could benefit from more subtext and nuance to make it feel more natural.
          • The moment of bittersweet reflection for Walt could be expanded upon to give it more emotional weight. This could be achieved through internal thoughts or a brief flashback to a significant moment in the RV.
          • The entrance of Jesse feels abrupt and could use more build-up. Adding a beat or two before he barges in would help create a smoother transition.
          • The panic and fear of Walt and Jesse when they realize Hank is approaching could be heightened with more visceral and immediate reactions. Show their heart racing, their hands trembling, or their breath quickening to convey their heightened state of anxiety.
          • The description of Hank's arrival and the blocking of the RV is clear, but it lacks tension. Adding more suspenseful language and emphasizing the stakes could make this moment more impactful.
          • The description of Hank's mental and physical exhaustion is mentioned but not fully explored. Delving deeper into his state of mind and the toll it has taken on him could add depth to his character and make his actions more understandable.
          • The intercut between Hank and the boys inside the RV is effective in building tension, but it could be enhanced by alternating between their perspectives more frequently. This would create a sense of urgency and heighten the suspense.
          Suggestions
          • Revise the description of the crusher yard to include more sensory details and vivid language that helps establish the atmosphere and mood.
          • Rewrite the dialogue between Walt and Old Joe to add subtext and nuance, making it feel more natural and less on-the-nose.
          • Expand upon the moment of bittersweet reflection for Walt by including internal thoughts or a brief flashback to a significant moment in the RV.
          • Add a beat or two before Jesse barges in to create a smoother transition and build-up to his entrance.
          • Heighten the panic and fear of Walt and Jesse when they realize Hank is approaching by showing their physical reactions and conveying their heightened state of anxiety.
          • Enhance the description of Hank's arrival and the blocking of the RV by using more suspenseful language and emphasizing the stakes.
          • Explore Hank's mental and physical exhaustion in more depth to add depth to his character and make his actions more understandable.
          • Alternate between Hank and the boys inside the RV more frequently in the intercut to create a sense of urgency and heighten the suspense.



          Scene 12 - Hank Confronts Walt and Jesse in the RV
          INT. RV - AFTERNOON - OUR BOYS

          Are silently shitting bricks. Piano-wire tense, not wanting
          to even breathe, Walt and Jesse stand their ground inside
          this darkened interior, sharing fearful looks.

          Not much point looking out the window, is there? They know
          Hank is out there. Regardless, Walt wouldn’t risk cracking a
          shade for a quick peek out, as Hank might SEE HIM. As it
          stands, right now Hank doesn’t know Walt is here -- only
          Jesse. Walt may as well postpone the awful inevitable.

          Jesse winces -- oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.

          Outside, Hank stands holding position behind his open truck
          door (reminiscent of how he stood talking to Tuco at the end
          of 202). No answer from inside the RV. Big surprise, right?

          Hank shoots a glance around behind him. The rest of this
          junkyard is quiet. No others in sight.

          Ready to proceed, Hank draws his GLOCK. CLOSE ON the back of
          his waistband as he subtly transfers it out of his paddle
          holster and into the side POCKET of his bomber jacket.

          Now, keeping his right hand tucked inside his jacket pocket
          and his left hand free, he can have his pistol always in
          hand, yet completely out of sight. The dude is smooth.

          Keeping his eyes on the prize, Hank cautiously walks to the
          RV. Nothing happening down the driver’s side.

          (CONTINUED)
          BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 42
          CONTINUED:

          Hank takes a careful peek into a corner of the RV’s REAR
          WINDOW -- but can’t see inside due to the thick curtain. He
          rounds the passenger’s side, keeping eyes on every window he
          passes.

          For Walt and Jesse, Hank is like the shark in “Jaws,”
          circling their little boat. Their DOOR suddenly JIGGLES.
          Walt and Jesse FREEZE -- hoping, praying it holds.

          Walt reaches out a hand, silently GRIPPING the inside door
          handle. Subtly PULLING tight. Willing it to stay closed.

          RATTLE-RATTLE, RATTLE... locked and secure. Whew. Walt’s
          hand remains in place, though.

          Walt and Jesse share an anxious look, when... BANG-BANG-BANG!
          Hank POUNDS on the door. AHH! JESUS! He then knocks on a
          WINDOW right by Jesse, who JUMPS, startled. As Jesse opens
          his mouth, about to blurt out some expletive at Walt --

          -- Walt MIME-SHUSHES him with a look of wide-eyed terror.
          Don’t give away that I’m HERE, stupid!!

          HANK (O.S.)
          Jesse Pinkman? You wanna add
          “resisting arrest,” we’ll add it.
          No skin off my ass...
          (more rattle-rattle; then)
          Last chance to do it the easy way.

          Now... SILENCE. Which only increases their anxiety. Is that
          the faint sound of Hank’s FOOTSTEPS trudging away from us?
          Where’s he going? They strain to hear. Jesse ventures a
          tiny peek out the nearest window.

          Outside, Hank has briefly stepped away to find a length of
          STEEL PIPE or somesuch. Something for breaking down RV
          DOORS. An object suitable to this task should likely be at
          hand -- this is a junkyard, after all.

          Seeing what’s coming, Jesse ducks from the curtain before --
          KA-BOOOM! -- something HITS the door from outside, creaking
          the RV and scaring the PISS out of Walt, Jesse and us.

          We continue this INTERCUT between Hank working to BEAT DOWN
          the RV DOOR and Jesse and Walt cringing just on the other
          side of it. ONE HIT... TWO HITS... it won’t be long now.
          Our two guys are truly, utterly, in every glorious sense of
          the word, fucked.

          BOOOOM! One more hit might do it. JUST as he’s about to
          stave in the RV DOOR, Hank is paused by...



          (CONTINUED)
          BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 43
          CONTINUED: (2)


          OLD JOE (O.S.)
          Got a warrant? --

          Hank turns to find... OLD JOE standing behind him, arms
          folded, a few yards off.

          Old Joe is clearly no physical threat to Hank, nor would he
          try to be (that’d be a good way to get arrested and/or shot).
          Instead, he just stands back, watching with sour disdain.

          Inside the RV, Walt and Jesse listen with bated breath. Hank
          considers Joe warily.

          HANK
          Who are you, huh? Who are you and
          what do you know about this RV?

          OLD JOE
          I’m the owner of this lot, which
          means you’re trespassing on private
          property. As far as the RV goes,
          seems to me that it’s locked --
          which means you’re trying to break
          and enter. So I say again... you
          got a warrant?

          HANK
          Well, I don’t need one if I’ve got
          probable cause, counselor.

          It doesn’t blow Old Joe’s hair back. This dude has been
          around the block. Hank doesn’t intimidate him.

          OLD JOE
          “Probable cause” usually relates to
          vehicles, is my understanding. You
          know, traffic stops and what-not.

          HANK
          (indicates the RV)
          See these round, rubber things?
          Those are wheels. This is a
          vehicle.

          OLD JOE
          (indicates the RV)
          This -- is a domicile, a residence.
          And thus protected by the Fourth
          Amendment from unlawful search and
          seizure.




          (CONTINUED)
          BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 44
          CONTINUED: (3)


          HANK
          Look Buddy, why don’t you just go
          out --

          OLD JOE
          -- Did you see us drive in here?
          How do you know it runs? Did you
          ctually witness any wrongdoing?
          (before Hank can answer)
          Seems to me you’re just out here
          fishing.
          (shrugs; mildly)
          Don’t see that holding up in a
          court of law.

          In the RV, Walt and Jesse listen intently, daring to hope.

          Hank snorts. Goddamned jailhouse lawyer.

          HANK
          Oh, yeah? Look at these.

          Remember the FIVE BULLET HOLES in our RV door? The ones
          which have been here ever since the Pilot episode? Four of
          them are still covered by weathered strips of DUCT TAPE. The
          fifth strip dangles just a little, showing a GLIMPSE of HOLE.

          Hank tugs at the tape, showing the BULLET HOLE to Joe. Hank
          pulls another strip loose, and another, revealing more HOLES.

          HANK
          What do those look like to you?

          On the other side of the door, thin SHAFTS of LIGHT appear
          one by one, beaming through the darkness and the dust motes
          and landing hot on WALT’S FACE.

          HANK
          They sure look like bullet holes to
          me. Here’s a firearm discharged
          inside this “domicile.” I’m
          willing to bet there’s a judge or
          two out there who’d see that as
          probable cause. But I tell you
          what, why don’t you call the
          Albuquerque police --

          Old Joe considers, deadpan yet momentarily stymied.

          Off the silence, Walt figuratively steps into the breach.
          He bends close to Jesse, his lips practically brushing
          Jesse’s ear. Whispering so as not to be heard outside:


          (CONTINUED)
          BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 45
          CONTINUED: (4)


          WALT
          “How could you have known that they
          were there before you took off the
          tape?”

          JESSE
          (panicked whisper)
          What?

          WALT
          “How could you have known that they
          were THERE before you took off the
          tape?” Say it! Say it!

          Jesse shakes his head, not wanting to -- but Walt SHOVES him.
          Do it!! Jesse swallows hard, calls out LOUDLY:

          JESSE
          HOW COULD YOU HAVE KNOWN THEY WERE
          THERE BEFORE YOU TOOK OFF THE
          TAPE?!

          Outside, Hank raises an eyebrow -- how’s that? Old Joe nods
          and picks up this thread.

          OLD JOE
          That’s right. Probable cause needs
          to be readily apparent.
          (drawls; covering)
          Huh. There’s somebody in there.

          Walt whispers again to Jesse:

          WALT
          “I’m in my own private domicile and
          I won’t be harassed!”

          HANK
          -- I’ll give you three seconds to
          get your ass out here. One, two...

          JESSE
          THIS IS MY OWN PRIVATE DOMICILE AND
          I WILL NOT BE HARASSED! BITCH!

          Walt gives Jesse a look -- idiot!

          Hank stares up at the RV, ready to rip Jesse a new one the
          moment he gets his hands on him. And yet...

          ... Take a deep breath, count to ten. Rethink, regroup...



          (CONTINUED)
          BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 46
          CONTINUED: (5)


          Hank turns back to Old Joe, considers him. Hank shakes his
          head half-admiringly, half-contemptuously. The hint of a
          crooked smile plays across his face.

          HANK
          Fine. You want your warrant? I’ll
          have my guys bring it and deliver
          it to you on a little satin pillow.
          How’s that?
          (then)
          I waited this long, I can wait a
          little longer.

          Hank wanders back to his Jeep Commander, casually leaning
          against it -- placing himself where he can keep an eye on the
          RV’s one and only DOOR. He pulls out his cell and dials.

          HANK
          (into phone)
          Hey Vicky, yeah... Schrader. Get
          me Merkert, willya?

          Inside the RV, Jesse looks to Walt. We bought ourselves some
          time... but it ain’t over yet. NOW what?
          Genres: ["Crime","Thriller"]

          Summary Walt and Jesse are hiding inside an RV in a junkyard, afraid of being discovered by Hank. Hank approaches the RV and tries to break in, but Old Joe, the owner of the lot, confronts him and argues that he needs a warrant. Hank decides to wait for a warrant and calls his colleague, buying Walt and Jesse some time. The emotional tone of the scene is tense and fearful, with Hank threatening Jesse with arrest and Old Joe challenging Hank's authority. The scene ends with Hank calling his colleague and deciding to wait for a warrant.
          Strengths
          • Tension-building
          • Effective dialogue
          • Strong character development
          Weaknesses
          • None identified

          Ratings
          Overall

          Overall: 9

          The scene is highly effective in building tension and keeping the audience on the edge of their seats. The dialogue and actions of the characters create a sense of impending danger and uncertainty.


          Story Content

          Concept: 8

          The concept of a standoff between law enforcement and the protagonists in a confined space is a familiar one in crime thrillers. However, the execution of the scene and the use of dialogue elevate it to a higher level.

          Plot: 9

          The plot of the scene revolves around the confrontation between Hank and Walt/Jesse and the tension that arises from their attempts to avoid detection. The stakes are high, and the scene moves the story forward significantly.

          Originality: 6

          The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the situation of characters hiding in an RV to avoid being caught is not entirely unique, the specific actions and dialogue of the characters feel authentic and fresh. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


          Character Development

          Characters: 9

          The characters are well-developed and their emotions and motivations are clearly conveyed. The audience feels their fear and anxiety, and their actions are consistent with their established personalities.

          Character Changes: 7

          While there is not a significant character change in this scene, it does reveal the characters' resourcefulness and ability to think on their feet in a high-pressure situation.

          Internal Goal: 8

          The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to remain hidden and avoid being discovered by Hank. This reflects their deeper need to protect themselves and their illegal activities.

          External Goal: 7

          The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to prevent Hank from entering the RV. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing of potentially being caught by law enforcement.


          Scene Elements

          Conflict Level: 9

          The conflict in this scene is intense and palpable. It is primarily a psychological conflict between the characters, as they try to outsmart and evade each other. The physical threat of violence is also present.

          Opposition: 8

          The opposition in this scene is strong, as the characters are facing the threat of being caught by Hank. The audience does not know how the situation will unfold, adding to the tension and suspense.

          High Stakes: 10

          The stakes are extremely high in this scene. The characters' lives and freedom are at risk, and the outcome of the confrontation will have significant consequences for the rest of the story.

          Story Forward: 9

          The scene moves the story forward significantly by escalating the conflict between the characters and setting up the climax of the episode.

          Unpredictability: 7

          This scene is unpredictable because the audience does not know whether or not Hank will discover the characters in the RV. The tension and uncertainty keep the audience engaged.

          Philosophical Conflict: 0

          There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


          Audience Engagement

          Emotional Impact: 8

          The scene evokes strong emotions of fear, anxiety, and anticipation in the audience. The audience is emotionally invested in the characters and their predicament.

          Dialogue: 10

          The dialogue in this scene is exceptional. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions, builds tension, and reveals important information. The use of silence and non-verbal communication also adds to the intensity of the scene.

          Engagement: 9

          This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of suspense and keeps the audience on the edge of their seats. The characters' fear and desperation are palpable, and the audience is invested in whether or not they will be caught.

          Pacing: 9

          The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by gradually building tension and suspense. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


          Technical Aspect

          Formatting: 9

          The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

          Structure: 8

          The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It effectively builds tension and suspense through the progression of events and the intercutting between Hank's actions and the reactions of Walt and Jesse.


          Critique
          • The scene lacks clear and concise descriptions, making it difficult to visualize the actions and settings.
          • The dialogue is not engaging and lacks tension, which is crucial for a scene of this nature.
          • There is a lack of character development and emotional depth in the scene.
          • The pacing of the scene is inconsistent, with some moments dragging and others feeling rushed.
          • The use of capitalization and exclamation marks in the dialogue is excessive and distracting.
          • The scene could benefit from more visual elements and actions to enhance the tension and suspense.
          • The scene lacks a clear resolution or climax, leaving the conflict unresolved.
          • The scene could benefit from more subtext and subplots to add depth and complexity.
          Suggestions
          • Provide more specific and vivid descriptions of the characters, settings, and actions to enhance visualization.
          • Revise the dialogue to make it more engaging, tense, and reflective of the characters' emotions and motivations.
          • Develop the characters further by exploring their internal thoughts, fears, and desires.
          • Ensure a consistent and appropriate pacing throughout the scene to maintain tension and suspense.
          • Use capitalization and exclamation marks sparingly and purposefully to emphasize important moments.
          • Introduce more visual elements and actions to enhance the tension and suspense in the scene.
          • Create a clear resolution or climax to provide a satisfying conclusion to the conflict.
          • Introduce subtext and subplots to add depth and complexity to the scene.



          Scene 13 - Trapped in the RV
          INT. RV - AFTERNOON - LATER

          Walt hasn’t moved. He sits staring at the floor. Is he
          despairing? Giving up? Jesse seems to think so -- he paces,
          all nervous energy, shooting Walt the occasional glance.

          JESSE
          I say -- I say we just ram him,
          alright? We, uh we, we start her
          up, just ram the shit out of his
          truck... and make our escape!
          Right?!

          Walt raises his eyes, staring flatly at Jesse... who groans,
          giving in and rejecting the idea. (BOTH their voices need to
          stay LOW and WHISPERED throughout this scene, of course!)

          JESSE
          Yeah, he’d, uh... he’d shoot me in
          the head. Yeah, he’d shoot me in
          the head.
          (then; desperate)
          So what do we DO, man?! Huh?!
          What do we... what..?
          (small and scared)
          Please tell me you got something.


          (CONTINUED)
          BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 47
          CONTINUED:


          Walt actually does. He’s been mulling it for a few minutes
          now, and it just might work. However, it’s such a horrible
          method... so hateful and evil... that he’s been sitting here
          debating with himself.

          But finally, there’s no other choice. And so, as if with a
          dark shroud of self-loathing hanging about him:

          WALT
          Yeah. I got something.

          Jesse’s all ears -- anything that gets them out of here is
          good news to him. What? What is it, man?!

          Wearily, reluctantly, Walt pulls his cell phone from his
          pocket. With a heavy glance to Jesse, he hits speed-dial.

          WALT
          (into phone)
          It’s me. We need your help.


          EXT. CRUSHER YARD - AFTERNOON - MINUTES LATER

          Right where we left him, Hank leans against his truck,
          staring at the RV. Warrants and backup should be here soon.
          Then Hank will be a hero again, instead of a career-damaged
          agent who turned down the biggest promotion of his life.

          Old Joe has disappeared, by the way. A beat of silence, then
          Hank’s cell RINGS. He pulls it from his pocket and answers.

          HANK
          Yeah.

          FEMALE VOICE
          Is this Mr. Henry R. Schrader?

          Hank frowns -- weird. Who’s using my full name?

          HANK
          Yeah. Who’s this?

          FEMALE VOICE
          Sir, this is Officer Elaine Tanner
          with the Albuquerque Police. Is
          your wife Marie Schrader?

          Hank’s heart suddenly lurches into his throat. There’s only
          one kind of call this could be.

          HANK
          Yes. Why?

          (CONTINUED)
          BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 48
          CONTINUED:


          FEMALE VOICE
          I’m sorry to inform you that your
          wife’s been in an automobile
          accident. She’s being airlifted to
          Los Ranchos Medical Center and
          should be arriving there shortly.

          Hank blinks, swallows. His voice stays oddly quiet.

          HANK
          How is she..? What’s her
          condition?

          FEMALE VOICE
          I don’t, um, have the most current
          information, Sir, but I think
          you... might want to get there as
          soon as possible.

          INTERCUT WITH:

          INT. SAUL GOODMAN’S OFFICE - AFTERNOON - CONTINUOUS

          Saul sits behind his desk. Looking surprisingly... subdued.
          Seems even Saul finds this despicable. As we REVEAL...

          ... FRANCESCA, Saul’s secretary, standing by. She is talking
          on a cheap DROP CELL. She’s “Officer Tanner,” apparently.
          Saul only hears her side of the call, but it’s enough.

          Click. He hangs up, breathing fast. Back in Saul’s office,
          Francesca takes the phone away from her ear, stares at it a
          short moment before handing it over. So this was Walt’s
          plan. Francesca, speaking quietly, feeling very bad herself:

          FRANCESCA
          You’re gonna have to start paying
          me more.

          Uncomfortable Saul has a hard time looking her in the eye.
          He gets it, doesn’t argue. Off him, taking the DROP CELL in
          both hands and BREAKING it backward, DESTROYING the evidence:

          RESUME - HANK

          Who’s forgotten what he's doing or why he's here -- only one
          thing matters now -- Marie. He jumps behind the wheel, kicks
          his truck into reverse. As he FAN-TAILS it out of here, his
          Jeep receding in the distance and passing out of sight...

          ... A beat of motionless silence. Then, CREAK... the RV’s
          damaged DOOR gingerly forces open.


          (CONTINUED)
          BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 49
          CONTINUED:

          Walt climbs out, moving like he’s aged fifty years in the
          last hour. Jesse, descending into view behind him, looks the
          same.

          Walt’s added burden, however, is the stinging GUILT he feels
          for what he’s had to do to his poor brother-in-law. This
          guilt presses down like an anvil on his shoulders.

          Here comes Old Joe in the distance, making his way out of his
          office toward them. Off Jesse, studying Walt... and Walt,
          silently staring off into the distance after Hank...

          SMASH CUT TO:


          INT. HOSPITAL ER - AFTERNOON - BOOM!!

          HANK BURSTS through the emergency room DOORS of an ABQ
          hospital. This is the Admitting area -- to enter the actual
          Trauma Center, you must be escorted past a SECURITY GUARD.

          Hank is frantic, brushing past several STAFFERS, finding an
          ADMITTING NURSE working a mouse behind her STATION.

          Hank asks her about Marie, frantically. We don’t hear any of
          the dialogue, just the panic in Hank’s head.

          The Nurse -- used to this kind of emotion -- checks her
          patient log. Hank’s got no time for that shit, however (he’s
          not being a bully or anything, it’s just that he’s scared).

          He’s starting to make a scene. The nurse tries to defuse.

          Hank opens his mouth, about to show her “calm.” But before
          things can turn truly ugly --

          -- A familiar, FROOFY RINGTONE cuts through the fear and
          static in Hank’s brain. Maybe it’s been ringing for a few
          seconds already. Maybe WE noticed it before Hank did.

          Recognizing it, Hank blinks, bewildered -- then fumbles in
          his jacket, pulling out his ringing CELL and answering it.

          HANK
          (hoping against hope)
          ... M-Marie?

          MARIE (O.S.)
          (typically breezy)
          I’m just checking in. I’d love to
          have some idea of whether I should
          cook dinner or not.

          Hank can barely breathe, let alone vocalize.

          (CONTINUED)
          BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 50
          CONTINUED:


          HANK
          You’re okay..?

          MARIE (O.S.)
          (huh?)
          Yeah. Why?
          (off his silence)
          Hank, what’s up?

          Hank stands here, relief flooding through him. And hot on
          the heels of it, a realization dawns -- he’s been HAD.

          Off the adrenalin practically leaking out of him now, making
          him light-headed... and a profound bitterness and anger
          sweeping in to take its place...

          WIDE on Hank, a tiny figure in this hallway, his phone to his
          ear, staring at the floor. A sad, defeated tableau.


          INT. RV - AFTERNOON

          Just as we left it, only Jesse and Walt are noticeably GONE.
          It's strangely quiet, except for the distant GRIND of some
          kind of machinery. This GRIND is growing LOUDER.

          When suddenly... CRASH!! Two huge, shiny steel FORKS come
          lancing in through the side! They cause a shower of BROKEN
          GLASS as labware and equipment get violently kicked around.
          The pierced wall STAVES INWARD, hit from the outside by some
          large o.s. FORCE (a diesel wheel-loader). Off the inside of
          our mobile lab, which seems to be IMPLODING...
          Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

          Summary Walt and Jesse are trapped in an RV and contemplate their options. Hank receives a distressing call about his wife's accident. Walt comes up with a plan and makes a phone call for help. Officer Tanner delivers the news to Hank, and Saul and Francesca are involved in a phone call related to Walt's plan. The emotional tone of this scene is tense, desperate, and filled with guilt and fear. The scene ends with the RV being forcefully pierced by steel forks, causing chaos inside.
          Strengths
          • Strong emotional impact
          • Tension and suspense
          • Character development
          Weaknesses
          • Some dialogue could be more impactful

          Ratings
          Overall

          Overall: 9

          The scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions and dilemma, creating tension and anticipation for the audience.


          Story Content

          Concept: 8

          The concept of the characters being trapped and coming up with a risky plan to escape is engaging and keeps the audience invested.

          Plot: 9

          The plot progresses as the characters devise a plan to escape and make a phone call for help.

          Originality: 7

          This scene is somewhat original in its depiction of the characters' desperate situation and their internal and external goals. The dialogue and actions of the characters feel authentic and true to their circumstances.


          Character Development

          Characters: 9

          The characters' emotions and conflicts are well-portrayed, especially Walt's internal struggle and Jesse's desperation.

          Character Changes: 8

          Walt experiences a significant change as he reluctantly comes up with a plan that goes against his moral compass.

          Internal Goal: 8

          The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come up with a plan to escape their current situation and avoid getting caught by the authorities. This reflects their deeper need for survival and their fear of the consequences of their actions.

          External Goal: 7

          The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find a way to get out of their current location without being caught by the authorities. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing.


          Scene Elements

          Conflict Level: 9

          The conflict between the characters' desire to escape and the risks involved creates tension and suspense.

          Opposition: 8

          The opposition in this scene is strong, as the characters are facing the threat of being caught by the authorities. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold.

          High Stakes: 9

          The characters' lives are at stake, and their actions have significant consequences.

          Story Forward: 9

          The scene moves the story forward by introducing a plan to escape and creating a new conflict for the characters.

          Unpredictability: 8

          This scene is unpredictable because it introduces a twist in the form of a phone call that reveals the protagonist's plan was a ruse. This adds an element of surprise and keeps the audience guessing.

          Philosophical Conflict: 0

          There is no evident philosophical conflict in this scene.


          Audience Engagement

          Emotional Impact: 9

          The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, including despair, fear, relief, and bitterness.

          Dialogue: 8

          The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations, adding depth to the scene.

          Engagement: 9

          This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes situation and keeps the audience on the edge of their seat. The dialogue and actions of the characters create tension and suspense.

          Pacing: 9

          The pacing of this scene is effective in building tension and suspense. The short, fragmented sentences and quick dialogue exchanges contribute to the sense of urgency.


          Technical Aspect

          Formatting: 9

          The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper indentation, capitalization, and punctuation.

          Structure: 8

          The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue.


          Critique
          • The scene lacks clear and concise action lines, making it difficult to visualize the characters' movements and emotions.
          • The dialogue between Walt and Jesse feels repetitive and lacks depth. It could benefit from more subtext and emotional nuance.
          • The transition between locations is abrupt and could be smoother to improve the flow of the scene.
          • The emotional impact of Hank receiving the call about his wife's accident is diminished by the lack of focus and attention given to it.
          • The destruction of the RV at the end of the scene feels rushed and lacks suspense or tension.
          Suggestions
          • Revise the action lines to provide clearer descriptions of the characters' actions and emotions.
          • Develop the dialogue between Walt and Jesse to add depth and subtext, revealing their internal conflicts and motivations.
          • Smoothly transition between locations by using clear scene headings and establishing shots.
          • Give more attention to Hank's reaction to the call about his wife's accident, allowing the audience to fully feel the impact of the news.
          • Build suspense and tension in the final moments of the scene by adding more obstacles or complications to the destruction of the RV.



          Scene 14 - The Crushing of the RV and Negotiations in the Desert
          EXT. CRUSHER YARD - AFTERNOON

          SUNSET, if possible. To the painful sounds of BUCKLING STEEL
          and SHATTERING GLASS... we see our poor old RV is meeting its
          demise in a massive CAR CRUSHER. Old Joe works the CONTROLS,
          reducing our iconic meth lab to a load of scrap.

          In reality, this complicated process takes a bit of time.
          Therefore, we will play this in MONTAGE with lots of ANGLES,
          which will allow us to shorten the process editorially.

          Walt and Jesse stand watching it happen. They should really
          get the hell out of here... and they will, momentarily... but
          this is a hard sight to ignore. It’s sad and melancholy.

          Goodbye old friend. Off Walt and Jesse, staring...
          BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 51




          EXT. EMPTY DESERT PLAIN - SUNSET

          We TILT DOWN from (hopefully) a glorious SUNSET filled with
          fat red and orange clouds. We find ourselves in the middle
          of nowhere. A familiar Volvo wagon is parked off to one side
          of the frame. A gray n.d. sedan is parked on the other.

          Between them, Gus stands facing the two Cousins. Apparently,
          this is what Gus meant by “sunset” -- a clandestine MEET.

          Is Gus taking a big risk, alone out here with these homicidal
          lunatics? If he’s nervous, he doesn’t show it. He is quiet
          and in control, as always. He speaks SPANISH, SUBTITLED.

          GUS
          I told you before. You will not
          kill Walter White. Not until my
          business with him has concluded.

          One of the Cousins responds quietly, also in Spanish. He
          doesn’t glare or grimace or otherwise threaten -- really, he
          doesn’t need to. These dudes are scary without even trying.

          FIRST COUSIN
          We’ve waited long enough. We won’t
          wait any longer.

          GUS
          You’ll have to. The decision isn’t
          yours to make.

          This doesn’t go over well with these two. In fact, the body
          language all around feels a little like an Old West showdown.
          But before it can turn into the OK Corral...

          GUS
          Explain to me -- why this man
          White? He betrayed your cousin
          Tuco, yes... but he’s not the one
          who murdered him.
          (off their stares)
          Was there not another man who
          pulled the trigger?

          A beat. The first Cousin nods, speaks grudgingly.

          FIRST COUSIN
          A DEA agent. Bolsa says DEA is off
          limits.




          (CONTINUED)
          BREAKING BAD #306 "Sunset" SCRIPT AS BROADCAST 52
          CONTINUED:


          GUS
          North of the border is my
          territory. My say.
          (then)
          As a show of respect, I say yes.

          The Cousins glance to one another, mild surprise showing in
          their faces. They didn’t see this coming.

          GUS
          The agent’s name is Hank Schrader.
          (a beat)
          May his death satisfy you.

          Ice-cold. Off the Cousins, coming around to this bold new
          idea... and mild Gus, not so much as blinking...

          And the red SUN sinking to the horizon behind them...

          THE END
          Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Thriller"]

          Summary Walt and Jesse watch as their RV is crushed in a car crusher at a yard during sunset. Meanwhile, Gus negotiates with the Cousins in an empty desert plain at sunset, offering them Hank Schrader's life instead of Walter's. The emotional tone of the scene is sad and melancholy as the RV is destroyed and tense as Gus negotiates in Spanish. The scene ends with the Cousins considering Gus's offer.
          Strengths
          • Tension-building
          • Character development
          • Dialogue
          Weaknesses

            Ratings
            Overall

            Overall: 9

            The scene effectively creates a sense of sadness and tension through the destruction of the RV and the confrontation between Gus and the Cousins. The dialogue is impactful and the stakes are high.


            Story Content

            Concept: 8

            The concept of the scene, which involves the destruction of the meth lab and the meeting between Gus and the Cousins, is well-executed and engaging.

            Plot: 9

            The plot of the scene, which revolves around the destruction of the RV and the confrontation between Gus and the Cousins, is intense and moves the story forward.

            Originality: 7

            The level of originality in this scene is moderate. While the concept of destroying a meth lab is not entirely unique, the emotional attachment to the RV and the use of a car crusher add a fresh approach. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


            Character Development

            Characters: 9

            The characters in the scene, including Walt, Jesse, Gus, and the Cousins, are well-developed and their interactions create tension and conflict.

            Character Changes: 8

            The characters in the scene, particularly Gus and the Cousins, experience a shift in their dynamics and motivations.

            Internal Goal: 8

            The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with the destruction of the RV and the end of their meth lab. It reflects their deeper need for closure and their fear of losing their identity as meth producers.

            External Goal: 7

            The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to witness the destruction of the RV. It reflects the immediate circumstance of the car crusher and the challenge of letting go of their past life.


            Scene Elements

            Conflict Level: 9

            The conflict in the scene, both internal and external, is high and creates a sense of tension and danger.

            Opposition: 8

            The opposition in this scene is strong, as Gus is facing off against the dangerous Cousins. The audience is unsure of how the confrontation will play out.

            High Stakes: 10

            The stakes in the scene are high, as Gus risks his life by confronting the dangerous Cousins and making a bold decision.

            Story Forward: 9

            The scene moves the story forward by setting up the conflict between Gus, Walt, and the Cousins.

            Unpredictability: 7

            This scene is unpredictable because it introduces a new twist in the form of Gus offering the Cousins a different target for their revenge. This adds a layer of uncertainty to the scene.

            Philosophical Conflict: 6

            The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the protagonist's belief that they should move on from their meth production business, while also feeling a sense of loss and attachment to their old life. This challenges their values and worldview.


            Audience Engagement

            Emotional Impact: 8

            The scene evokes a sense of sadness and tension, creating an emotional impact on the audience.

            Dialogue: 9

            The dialogue in the scene is impactful and effectively conveys the tension and conflict between the characters.

            Engagement: 8

            This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of anticipation and emotional investment in the characters' journey. The destruction of the RV and the conversation between Gus and the Cousins create tension and intrigue.

            Pacing: 8

            The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and anticipation. The montages and dialogue scenes are well-paced and keep the audience engaged.


            Technical Aspect

            Formatting: 9

            The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It includes scene headings, action lines, and dialogue in the correct format.

            Structure: 9

            The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre. It begins with an establishing shot and then moves into a series of montages and dialogue scenes.


            Critique
            • The scene lacks tension and urgency. The destruction of the RV is a significant event, but it is not portrayed as such. The emotional impact of Walt and Jesse watching their meth lab being crushed is not effectively conveyed.
            • The montage format used to shorten the process of the RV being crushed is a missed opportunity to build suspense and create a sense of finality. Instead, it feels rushed and lacks the necessary emotional weight.
            • The dialogue between Gus and the Cousins is straightforward and lacks depth. There is an opportunity to explore the complex dynamics between these characters and delve into their motivations and conflicting loyalties.
            • The scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the storytelling. Descriptions of the characters' expressions, body language, and the environment could help create a more immersive experience for the audience.
            • The transition between the crusher yard and the empty desert plain feels abrupt and disjointed. There is a lack of continuity in the visual and emotional tone between these two settings.
            • The ending of the scene, with the red sun sinking to the horizon, is a powerful image, but it feels disconnected from the rest of the scene and lacks a clear narrative purpose.
            Suggestions
            • Increase the tension and urgency in the scene by emphasizing the emotional impact of the RV being destroyed. Show Walt and Jesse's desperation and the weight of their loss.
            • Instead of using a montage, consider slowing down the process of the RV being crushed to build suspense and create a sense of finality. Use different angles and shots to enhance the visual storytelling.
            • Develop the dialogue between Gus and the Cousins to explore their complex dynamics and motivations. Add layers of subtext and conflict to make the scene more engaging.
            • Include more visual descriptions to enhance the storytelling. Show the characters' expressions, body language, and the environment to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
            • Improve the transition between the crusher yard and the empty desert plain to create a more seamless and cohesive narrative flow. Connect the visual and emotional tone between these two settings.
            • Integrate the ending image of the red sun sinking to the horizon into the rest of the scene to give it a clear narrative purpose. Connect it thematically or symbolically to the events and emotions of the scene.



            Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:

            walt

            Walt is a highly intelligent and meticulous chemist turned methamphetamine manufacturer. He is initially resigned and bitter towards the divorce and his role as a provider, but driven by guilt and a desire to provide for his family. He is meticulous and detail-oriented, reflecting in his careful preparation of his sandwich and his neatly labeled lunch bag. He has a tendency to overthink and worry, speaking in a precise and measured tone using logical arguments to justify his actions. As the series progresses, Walt becomes more confident and assertive, with a passion for teaching and reflecting on the beauty of chemistry. However, Walt's involvement in illegal activities takes a toll on him, leading to desperation and willingness to take risks to protect his operation. He becomes increasingly panicked as the scenes unfold, revealing his conflicted character torn between his desire to escape and his guilt for the plan he has come up with.



            jesse

            Jesse is an impulsive, emotional, and rebellious character with a strong sense of loyalty towards his friends. He is confident and focused on building a successful drug operation but can sometimes speak his mind without filtering his thoughts. He speaks with a colloquial style, using slang and expletives to communicate. He is easily influenced by Walt and becomes increasingly fearful as the situation escalates. Jesse is portrayed as a nervous and desperate character who is willing to take extreme measures to escape. His speaking style is fast-paced and filled with nervous energy.



            CharacterArcCritiqueSuggestions
            walt Walt's character arc starts as a resigned and bitter school teacher who gets diagnosed with lung cancer, leading him to turn to methamphetamine manufacturing to provide for his family. Initially, he is hesitant and afraid but becomes increasingly confident. His involvement in illegal activities however takes a toll, leading him to become more and more desperate and eventually losing his morality. The character arc does a good job of showing Walt's transformation from a hesitant and disillusioned school teacher to a desperate drug lord. However, it would be great to see more exploration of Walt's moral decay and how it impacts the people around him. To improve the character arc, more emphasis could be put on the impact of Walt's morally questionable actions on the people around him, like his family and business partners. Additionally, exploring the nuances and complexities of Walt's motivations could deepen his character development.
            jesse Jesse's arc in the episode starts off with his pride in his cooking skills and determination to do things differently. However, as the situation with Walt and their drug operation becomes more dangerous, Jesse becomes increasingly fearful and desperate. He is willing to take extreme measures to escape and is easily influenced by Walt. In the end, he is portrayed as a nervous wreck, speaking quickly and filled with nervous energy. The character arc for Jesse feels rushed and could benefit from more development throughout the episode. His emotions seem to escalate quickly without enough buildup, making his actions feel out of character at times. To improve Jesse's character arc, the writers could add more scenes that showcase his emotional and impulsive tendencies. They could also add more internal dialogue or monologues to help the audience understand his motivations and fears. Additionally, the pacing could be slowed down to allow his emotions to build more naturally over time.
            Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

            Pattern Explanation
            Tone and Emotional ImpactThere is a strong correlation between the tone of the scene and its emotional impact. Scenes with tense or anxious tones tend to have higher emotional impact scores.
            Dialogue and Character ChangesScenes with higher dialogue scores tend to have more significant character changes. This suggests that dialogue is an effective tool for character development.
            Conflict and High StakesScenes with higher conflict scores tend to have higher stakes. This makes sense, as higher conflict often leads to higher stakes.
            Concept and PlotThere is a moderate correlation between the concept and plot scores. This suggests that a strong concept can lead to a stronger plot.
            Overall Grade and Move Story ForwardScenes with higher overall grades tend to do a better job of moving the story forward. This suggests that a well-written scene is more effective at advancing the plot.
            Tone and Character ChangesScenes with more intense or serious tones tend to have more significant character changes. This suggests that tone can be an effective tool for character development.
            Dialogue and Emotional ImpactScenes with higher dialogue scores tend to have higher emotional impact scores. This suggests that well-written dialogue can be an effective tool for eliciting an emotional response from the audience.
            Character Changes and Emotional ImpactScenes with more significant character changes tend to have higher emotional impact scores. This suggests that character development can be an effective tool for eliciting an emotional response from the audience.
            Tone and ConflictScenes with more intense or serious tones tend to have higher conflict scores. This suggests that tone can be an effective tool for creating conflict in a scene.
            Dialogue and ConflictScenes with higher dialogue scores tend to have higher conflict scores. This suggests that well-written dialogue can be an effective tool for creating conflict in a scene.


            Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

            The overall writing style of the screenplay is effective in creating tension, suspense, and atmosphere. The writer demonstrates a strong command of dialogue, character development, and narrative description. The scenes effectively convey the emotions and conflicts of the characters, and the pacing and structure contribute to the overall effectiveness of the screenplay.

            Key Improvement Areas

            Character Development
            The writer could further enhance their character development by exploring different character dynamics, conflicts, and subtextual dialogue. This would add depth and complexity to the scenes and create more engaging and well-rounded characters.
            Plot Structure
            While the scenes effectively set up the atmosphere and anticipation for the investigation, the writer could benefit from further developing the plot structure. Reading 'Save the Cat! Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody' would provide valuable insights and exercises for improving plot structure and creating a well-paced and engaging narrative.
            Writing Diverse Atmospheres
            To expand their range and develop their skills in creating different moods and settings, the writer could practice writing scenes with different genres and settings. This would help them experiment with different writing styles and techniques, adding versatility to their craft.

            Suggestions

            Type Suggestion Rationale
            Book Save the Cat! Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody This book provides insights and exercises to improve the craft of screenwriting, including character development and plot structure.
            Video MasterClass: Aaron Sorkin Teaches Screenwriting This video course by Aaron Sorkin offers valuable lessons on dialogue writing and storytelling techniques.
            Screenplay recommendation Read 'Pulp Fiction' by Quentin Tarantino This screenplay is a great example of how to effectively use dialogue and create engaging characters.
            Exercise Write a scene with a different character dynamic and conflictPractice In SceneProv This exercise will help the writer explore different character interactions and conflicts, further developing their skills in creating engaging scenes.
            Screenplay recommendation Save the Cat! by Blake Snyder This book provides valuable insights and techniques for developing engaging and well-structured scenes.
            Exercise Write a scene with only subtextual dialoguePractice In SceneProv This exercise can help the writer practice conveying emotions and conflicts through subtext, which could add depth to their scenes.
            Screenplay recommendation Read 'No Country for Old Men' by Cormac McCarthy This screenplay is known for its tense and suspenseful writing style, which could provide inspiration for the writer to further develop their craft.
            Exercise Write a scene with a philosophical conflict between two charactersPractice In SceneProv This exercise could help the writer explore new aspects of their writing style and develop their ability to create complex and thought-provoking scenes.
            Stories Similar to this one

            Story Explanation
            No Country for Old Men The scene opens with a souvenir medallion hanging from the rearview mirror, similar to the opening shot of the sheriff's car in No Country for Old Men. Both scenes establish a calm and reflective tone in a barren landscape.
            Breaking Bad The scene where Walt and Jesse discuss their options while trapped in the RV is reminiscent of many tense and desperate moments in Breaking Bad. Both stories involve characters making life-or-death decisions and facing the consequences of their actions.
            Better Call Saul The scene where Saul lies on the floor with a Chinese massage machine while talking on the phone with Walt is similar to the quirky and humorous moments in Better Call Saul. Both stories feature Saul Goodman as a character and explore the criminal underworld.
            No Country for Old Men The scene where Walt and Jesse watch their RV being crushed in a car crusher is reminiscent of the tense and melancholic moments in No Country for Old Men. Both stories involve characters facing the consequences of their actions and dealing with the loss of their possessions.

            Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

            Trope Trope Details Trope Explanation
            Mysterious PastThe souvenir medallion hanging from the rearview mirror of the tribal police cruiser, which twists in the wind to reveal an old photograph of Apache warriors.The Mysterious Past trope is used to create intrigue and curiosity about a character's background or history. In this scene, the medallion hints at Officer Kee's connection to the Apache warriors and suggests that there may be more to his story.
            ForeshadowingThe scene ends with the cruiser making its way towards a small house in the New Mexico desert.Foreshadowing is a literary device used to hint at future events or outcomes. In this scene, the cruiser heading towards the small house in the desert foreshadows a significant event or conflict that may occur there.
            Suspenseful DeathThe Deputy finds Mrs. Peyketewa's body rolled up in a rug. The Deputy calls for backup and confronts one of the Cousins, who is holding a red apple. The other Cousin approaches with a fire axe and kills the Deputy.The Suspenseful Death trope is used to create tension and anticipation around a character's death. In this scene, the discovery of Mrs. Peyketewa's body and the confrontation between the Deputy and the Cousins build suspense, leading to the Deputy's eventual death.
            Tense ConversationWalt and Skyler discuss their divorce and their son. The Cousins wait for Walt at Los Pollos Hermanos. Badger admires a chunk of blue crystal.The Tense Conversation trope is used to create a sense of unease and conflict between characters. In this scene, the tension arises from Walt and Skyler's discussion about their divorce and their son, as well as the presence of the Cousins waiting for Walt at Los Pollos Hermanos.
            Lighthearted MomentJesse, Skinny Pete, and Badger sit around a coffee table admiring Jesse's blue crystal meth. Badger hesitates to snort it due to Jesse's recent rehab stint, but eventually gives in and becomes ecstatic. Jesse proposes a new, safer approach to selling meth and assigns tasks to his crew.The Lighthearted Moment trope is used to provide a break from tension and create a moment of levity or humor. In this scene, the lighthearted moment occurs when Badger hesitates to snort the meth but eventually gives in and becomes ecstatic, leading to Jesse proposing a new approach to selling meth.
            AnticipationWalt waits anxiously for the time to go to his new lab. The scene ends with Gus entering Los Pollos Hermanos and encountering the Cousins.The Anticipation trope is used to build suspense and create a sense of expectation for future events. In this scene, Walt's anxious waiting and Gus's encounter with the Cousins generate anticipation for what will happen next.
            MontageWalt and Gale bond over coffee and begin a montage of cooking meth together.The Montage trope is used to condense a series of events or actions into a short sequence, often accompanied by music. In this scene, the montage showcases Walt and Gale's collaboration in cooking meth, highlighting their growing partnership.
            Reflective MomentGale and Walt celebrate the end of their first day in the superlab with wine and discuss their work. Meanwhile, Hank watches Jesse's house from his car and receives a call from Marie.The Reflective Moment trope is used to provide a pause in the action and allow characters to reflect on their experiences or emotions. In this scene, Gale and Walt's celebration and discussion of their work, as well as Hank watching Jesse's house and receiving a call from Marie, create a reflective moment for the characters.
            SuspicionHank asks Walt if Jesse ever had an RV. Walt is shocked and hangs up. He then calls Saul to ask for a secure line.The Suspicion trope is used to create doubt or mistrust between characters. In this scene, Hank's question about Jesse's RV and Walt's shocked reaction hint at suspicion and potential conflict between them.
            Desperate SituationWalt and Jesse are trapped in an RV and contemplating their options. Walt comes up with a plan and makes a phone call for help. Meanwhile, Hank receives a call about his wife being in an accident. The scene ends with the RV being forcefully pierced by steel forks.The Desperate Situation trope is used to create a sense of urgency and danger for the characters. In this scene, Walt and Jesse's trapped situation, Hank's distressing call about his wife, and the RV being pierced by steel forks all contribute to the desperate situation they find themselves in.
            NegotiationGus meets with the Cousins in the desert to negotiate Walter's fate.The Negotiation trope is used to depict a discussion or bargaining between parties to reach an agreement. In this scene, Gus negotiates with the Cousins to spare Walter's life, showcasing his diplomatic skills and the high stakes involved.


            Theme Theme Details Themee Explanation
            Identity and HeritageThe scene opens with a souvenir medallion hanging from the rearview mirror of a tribal police cruiser, revealing an old photograph of Apache warriors. Officer Kee, a young Native American deputy, is the main character in this scene.The theme of identity and heritage is present in the scene through the visual representation of the Apache warriors on the medallion and Officer Kee's Native American background. This theme may explore the struggle of maintaining cultural identity in a modern world or the connection between one's heritage and their actions.
            Suspense and DangerThe scene ends with the Cousins killing the Deputy with a fire axe.The theme of suspense and danger is evident in this scene as the conflict escalates and leads to the Deputy's death. This theme may explore the consequences of being involved in dangerous situations or the unpredictability of life and the potential dangers that can arise.
            Family and RelationshipsWalt and Skyler discuss their divorce and their son. The scene ends with the Cousins waiting for Walt at Los Pollos Hermanos, putting pressure on Gus.The theme of family and relationships is present in this scene through the discussion between Walt and Skyler about their divorce and their son. This theme may explore the complexities of family dynamics, the impact of personal relationships on one's actions, or the struggle to balance personal and professional responsibilities.
            Ambition and SuccessJesse proposes a new, safer approach to selling meth and assigns tasks to his crew.The theme of ambition and success is evident in this scene as Jesse proposes a new approach to selling meth and assigns tasks to his crew. This theme may explore the pursuit of success and the lengths people are willing to go to achieve their goals, or the consequences of ambition and the potential dangers it can bring.
            Guilt and ConsequencesThe conflict in this scene arises between Walt and Walter Jr. as they discuss Walt's guilt and the impact it has on their relationship.The theme of guilt and consequences is present in this scene through the conflict between Walt and Walter Jr. This theme may explore the emotional and psychological impact of guilt, the consequences of one's actions, or the struggle to reconcile with past mistakes.
            Science and KnowledgeWalt and Gale bond over their shared love of chemistry.The theme of science and knowledge is evident in this scene as Walt and Gale bond over their shared passion for chemistry. This theme may explore the power of knowledge, the pursuit of scientific discovery, or the ethical implications of using scientific knowledge for personal gain.
            Power and ControlThe conflict in this scene arises when Jesse barges in and accuses Walt of trying to get rid of the RV without him.The theme of power and control is present in this scene through the conflict between Jesse and Walt. This theme may explore the dynamics of power and control in relationships, the struggle for dominance, or the consequences of seeking control over others.
            Desperation and SurvivalWalt and Jesse are trapped in an RV and contemplating their options.The theme of desperation and survival is evident in this scene as Walt and Jesse find themselves in a desperate situation and must come up with a plan to survive. This theme may explore the lengths people are willing to go to in order to survive, the psychological and emotional toll of desperation, or the resilience of the human spirit in the face of adversity.
            Justice and MoralityThe conflict in this scene arises when Hank asks Walt about Jesse's RV, indicating that he suspects Jesse of selling crystal meth.The theme of justice and morality is present in this scene through the conflict between Hank and Walt. This theme may explore the concepts of right and wrong, the pursuit of justice, or the moral dilemmas faced by individuals in difficult situations.
            Betrayal and LoyaltyThe conflict in this scene is whether or not the Cousins will spare Walter's life.The theme of betrayal and loyalty is evident in this scene as the Cousins consider whether or not to spare Walter's life. This theme may explore the complexities of loyalty and betrayal, the consequences of betrayal, or the sacrifices made for loyalty.



            Screenwriting Resources on Themes

            Articles

            Site Description
            Studio Binder Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
            Coverfly Improving your Screenplay's theme
            John August Writing from Theme

            YouTube Videos

            Title Description
            Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics Screenwriting basics - beginner video
            What is theme Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
            Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts
            Voice Analysis
            Summary: The writer's voice is characterized by a blend of descriptive language, realistic dialogue, and concise narrative description. They have a talent for creating tension and suspense through their writing, as well as conveying emotional depth and authenticity in their characters.
            Voice Contribution The writer's voice contributes to the script by creating a distinct atmosphere, highlighting cultural elements, and adding depth to the characters and their interactions. Their unique style enhances the mood, themes, and overall depth of the screenplay.
            Best Representation Scene 6 - Walt meets his new lab assistant
            Best Scene Explanation This scene is the best representation because it showcases the writer's ability to create vivid and engaging visual and sensory descriptions, as well as their talent for crafting natural and authentic dialogue that reveals character traits and dynamics.
            Originality
            • Overall originality score: 6.5
            • Overall originality explanation: The screenplay demonstrates a moderate level of originality. While some scenes contain familiar situations, the inclusion of unique elements, authentic dialogue, and fresh approaches contribute to the overall originality of the screenplay.
            • Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the screenplay are the inclusion of the Santa Muerte shrine in the deserted house investigation scene, the use of scientific language and exploration of inner thoughts and emotions in the scene with Walt and Gale, and the unique situation of needing to dispose of an RV containing a meth lab in the scene with Walt and Jesse.
            • Overall unpredictability score: 7.2
            • Overall unpredictability explanation: The full screenplay has a relatively high level of unpredictability. The inclusion of unexpected twists, conflicts, and character actions keeps the audience engaged and unsure of what will happen next.
            Goals and Philosophical Conflict
            internal GoalsThe protagonist's internal goals evolved throughout the script, reflecting his desire to fulfill his duty as a police officer, protect and serve his community, maintain a sense of control and dignity in his crumbling marriage, regain a sense of pride and accomplishment, assess and evaluate his new lab assistant, establish a connection and bond with his lab assistant, find evidence against Jesse, protect himself and his associates from the DEA's investigation, ensure there is no incriminating evidence left behind, remain hidden and avoid being discovered by Hank, come up with a plan to escape their current situation, and come to terms with the destruction of the RV and the end of their meth lab.
            External Goals The protagonist's external goals evolved throughout the script, reflecting the immediate challenges he faced in investigating Mrs. Peyketewa's well-being, solving a homicide case, finalizing his divorce and discussing arrangements for his son, convincing his friends to join him in selling meth, starting his new job at the industrial laundry, continuing the meth cooking operation, gathering information about Gale's background, finding Jesse's RV, getting rid of the RV before the authorities find it, ensuring no evidence is left behind in the RV, remaining hidden and avoiding detection, finding a way to escape their current location, and witnessing the destruction of the RV.
            Philosophical Conflict The overarching philosophical conflict in the screenplay revolves around the protagonist's belief in his ability to provide for his family and be a good father despite the divorce, his belief in the magic and beauty of chemistry, and his attachment to his old life as a meth producer. These conflicts intertwine with the protagonist's journey as he navigates the challenges of his personal and criminal life, questions the purpose and value of his work, and grapples with the consequences of his actions.


            Character Development Contribution: The protagonist's internal goals and the philosophical conflicts he faces contribute to his character development by challenging his beliefs, values, and worldview. They force him to confront his fears, desires, and flaws, and ultimately shape his transformation throughout the screenplay.

            Narrative Structure Contribution: The protagonist's internal and external goals provide a framework for the narrative structure of the screenplay. They drive the plot forward, create tension and conflict, and guide the protagonist's actions and decisions. The philosophical conflicts add depth and complexity to the narrative, exploring larger themes and ideas.

            Thematic Depth Contribution: The protagonist's internal and external goals, as well as the overarching philosophical conflicts, contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring themes of duty, protection, control, pride, validation, fear, self-preservation, identity, survival, closure, and the purpose and value of one's work. They raise questions about morality, responsibility, and the consequences of one's actions, and invite reflection on the nature of power, ambition, and the pursuit of happiness.


            Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

            Articles

            Site Description
            Creative Screenwriting How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
            Studio Binder What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

            YouTube Videos

            Title Description
            How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
            Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
            Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?
            World Building
            • Physical environment: The world depicted in the screenplay is a mix of different settings, including a New Mexico reservation characterized by its barren and beautiful landscape, a small suburban neighborhood, a well-appointed condo in Albuquerque, Jesse's house with its spacious living room, an industrial laundry facility serving as a front for a meth lab, a superlab used for illegal drug production, Saul Goodman's quirky office, a cluttered auto repair spot called the tow yard, a crusher yard filled with scrap metal, and an RV in a junkyard. Each setting contributes to the overall world-building by creating distinct atmospheres and reflecting the characters' experiences and actions.
            • Culture: The cultural elements in the screenplay are primarily represented through the Native American community in the New Mexico reservation, as seen through the presence of a tribal police car, the mention of Mrs. Peyketewa, and the use of a shrine with offerings. The screenplay also explores the criminal culture surrounding the production and distribution of crystal meth, as depicted through the characters' drug use, their involvement in illegal activities, and the tension between different criminal factions. These cultural elements shape the characters' experiences and actions by influencing their motivations, relationships, and conflicts.
            • Society: The societal structure in the screenplay is primarily characterized by criminality and secrecy. The characters operate within a world where illegal drug production and distribution are prevalent, and they face immediate challenges and dangers related to their involvement in criminal activities. The screenplay also touches on societal issues such as divorce, child support, and the impact of illegal drug use on families. These societal structures contribute to the narrative by creating conflicts, tensions, and moral dilemmas for the characters to navigate.
            • Technology: The technological elements in the screenplay are primarily represented through the use of police radios, satellite dishes, high-tech lab equipment, and advanced chemicals for drug synthesis. These technological aspects contribute to the overall world-building by creating a sense of realism and specificity in the depiction of the characters' environments and activities. They also shape the characters' experiences and actions by providing them with tools and resources that enable their criminal activities and influence their interactions with the world around them.
            • Characters influence: The unique physical environment, culture, society, and technology in the screenplay shape the characters' experiences and actions in various ways. The physical environment, such as the barren landscape of the New Mexico reservation or the gritty and dangerous settings of the meth labs, creates a sense of place and influences the characters' behaviors and decisions. The cultural elements, such as the Native American community or the criminal culture surrounding drug production, shape the characters' identities, motivations, and relationships. The societal structures, such as the prevalence of criminality and secrecy, create conflicts, tensions, and moral dilemmas for the characters to navigate. The technology, such as the advanced lab equipment or the use of police radios, provides the characters with tools and resources that enable their actions and influence their interactions with the world. Overall, these world elements contribute to the complexity and depth of the characters' experiences and actions.
            • Narrative contribution: The world elements in the screenplay contribute to the narrative by creating distinct settings, conflicts, and tensions that drive the story forward. The physical environment, culture, society, and technology provide the backdrop and context for the characters' actions and decisions. They create obstacles, challenges, and opportunities for the characters to navigate, leading to dramatic and suspenseful moments. The world elements also contribute to the pacing and structure of the screenplay, as the characters move between different settings and interact with different cultural and technological elements. Additionally, the world elements contribute to the development of the plot and the resolution of conflicts, as the characters' experiences and actions are shaped by the unique aspects of their world.
            • Thematic depth contribution: The world elements in the screenplay contribute to the thematic depth by exploring themes such as identity, morality, power, and the consequences of one's actions. The physical environment, culture, society, and technology shape the characters' experiences and actions in ways that reflect and explore these themes. For example, the barren landscape of the New Mexico reservation and the gritty settings of the meth labs reflect the characters' struggles with their own identities and the moral implications of their actions. The cultural elements, such as the Native American community and the criminal culture, raise questions about power dynamics and the impact of societal structures on individuals. The technological elements, such as the advanced lab equipment and the use of police radios, highlight the consequences of using technology for illegal activities. Overall, the world elements contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by providing a rich and nuanced exploration of these themes.

            Engine: Gemini

            Screenplay Rating:

            Highly Recommend

            Executive Summary

            Breaking Bad, episode 306, is a masterfully crafted episode that showcases the show's strengths in character development, plot, dialogue, and thematic exploration. The episode's pacing is excellent, building tension and suspense throughout. While there are minor opportunities to further develop supporting characters, the episode's overall impact is undeniable.

            Strengths
            • Exceptional character development, particularly Walt's internal conflict and Jesse's growth. high
            • Masterful use of contrasting scenes and montages to highlight the differences between Walt's partnerships with Jesse and Gale. high ( Scene 7  Scene 14  )
            • Intense and suspenseful plot that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats. high ( Scene 1  Scene 2  Scene 11  Scene 14  )
            • Sharp and witty dialogue that reveals character motivations and adds depth to the story. high
            • Exploration of moral ambiguity and the consequences of Walt's choices. high ( Scene 3  Scene 9  Scene 13  )
            Areas of Improvement
            • Marie's character could be further developed beyond her role as Hank's wife. medium ( Scene 8  )
            • Badger's decision-making process regarding contacting Jesse could be explored in more detail. low ( Scene 10  )
            MissingElements
            NotablePoints
            • Walt's use of Saul to manipulate Hank highlights the depths of his descent into darkness. high ( Scene 13  )
            • The symbolism of the RV's destruction represents the end of an era for Walt and Jesse. high ( Scene 11  Scene 14  )
            • The ending scene with Gus and the Cousins sets the stage for a new conflict and raises questions about Gus's past. high ( Scene 14  )

            Engine: Claude

            Screenplay Rating:

            Consider

            Executive Summary

            Overall, this Breaking Bad episode is a solid continuation of the series, with strong character development, tense plot progressions, and visually striking sequences. The screenplay effectively balances the ongoing storylines, introducing new elements while advancing the overarching narrative. While there are a few areas that could be tightened or more seamlessly integrated, the episode showcases the show's strong writing and direction, making it a worthy consideration for the series.

            Strengths
            • The meth cooking montage sequence is visually striking and effectively conveys the collaborative chemistry between Walt and Gale. The use of classical/jazz music creates a celebratory tone around their work, highlighting the scientific artistry. high ( Scene 6 (INT. SUPERLAB - MORNING - LATER)   )
            • The dialogue between Walt and Gale reveals their shared passion for chemistry and their differing perspectives on the morality of their work. This scene effectively develops their relationship and provides insight into Gale's backstory and motivations. medium ( Scene 7 (INT. SUPERLAB - AFTERNOON - LATER)   )
            • The tense standoff between Walt, Jesse, and Hank in the RV is well-executed, with strong character moments and a palpable sense of danger. The use of suspense and the introduction of Old Joe as a legal foil adds complexity to the situation. high ( Scene 12 (INT. RV - AFTERNOON - OUR BOYS)   )
            Areas of Improvement
            • The conversation between Walt and Skyler feels a bit expository and could be streamlined to maintain a faster pace. Some of the dialogue could be made more natural and less on-the-nose. medium ( Scene 3 (INT. WELL-APPOINTED CONDO - DAY)   )
            • While the scene with Jesse, Badger, and Skinny Pete establishes the new business plan, it could be tightened up to avoid repetition and maintain momentum. Some of the character interactions feel a bit forced. medium ( Scene 4 (INT. JESSE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY)   )
            MissingElements
            NotablePoints
            • Walt's decision to call Saul and use his resources to create a false emergency situation to distract Hank is a notable and morally questionable move that further develops Walt's character arc. high ( Scene 13 (INT. RV - AFTERNOON - LATER)   )
            • The final scene with Gus and the Cousins sets up an intriguing conflict and power struggle, hinting at larger forces at play beyond Walt and Jesse's immediate predicament. high ( Scene 14 (EXT. EMPTY DESERT PLAIN - SUNSET)   )
            Memorable lines in the script:

            Scene Number Line
            12Jesse: THIS IS MY OWN PRIVATE DOMICILE AND I WILL NOT BE HARASSED! BITCH!
            2Officer Kee: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!
            14GUS: I told you before. You will not kill Walter White. Not until my business with him has concluded.
            1DISPATCHER: KDK-12, come in... KDK-12...
            9SAUL: what do I look like, the RV disposal people? Did you not plan for this contingency?