The Social Network

Executive Summary

Poster
Overview

Genres: Drama, Legal, Comedy, Thriller, Romance, Legal Drama, Character Study, Biography, Business, Technology, Technological, Academic, Tech, Biographical, College, Sports, Conflict, Crime

Setting: Early 2000s, primarily 2003-2004, Harvard University, Palo Alto, California, and various locations in the U.S.

Overview: The Social Network chronicles the rise of Facebook, beginning with Mark Zuckerberg's tumultuous relationship with Erica Albright, which fuels his ambition to create a social networking site. As he develops Facemash, a controversial website that rates female students, he faces backlash and legal scrutiny. The narrative unfolds through a dual timeline, juxtaposing the creation of Facebook with legal depositions years later, revealing the betrayals and conflicts that arise between Mark, his best friend Eduardo Saverin, and the Winklevoss twins, who accuse him of stealing their idea. As Facebook grows exponentially, personal relationships deteriorate, leading to a dramatic fallout that tests loyalty and ambition.

Themes: Ambition and Innovation, Betrayal and Legal Conflicts, Social Isolation and Disconnect, The Nature of Genius and Morality, Exclusivity vs. Inclusivity, The Power of Information and Online Permanence, The Nature of Friendship and Loyalty

Conflict and Stakes: The primary conflict revolves around Mark's ambition to create Facebook, leading to strained relationships with friends and partners, particularly Eduardo, and legal battles with the Winklevoss twins over intellectual property theft.

Overall Mood: Tense and introspective, with moments of humor and drama.

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

  • Scene 1: The mood is tense and awkward during Mark's date with Erica, highlighting his social struggles.
  • Scene 50: The mood is tense and confrontational as Eduardo confronts Mark about his actions and the implications for their friendship.
  • Scene 57: The mood is chaotic and indulgent during the party scene, contrasting with the serious consequences of their actions.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The story of Facebook's creation, a cultural touchstone, told through the lens of personal relationships and legal battles.
  • Major Twist: The revelation of Eduardo's diminishing role and the betrayal he feels as Mark aligns more with Sean Parker.
  • Innovative Ideas: The screenplay explores the ethical implications of social media and the personal costs of ambition.
  • Distinctive Settings: The contrast between the prestigious environment of Harvard and the chaotic, youthful atmosphere of Silicon Valley.

Comparable Scripts:

  • The Social Network
  • Steve Jobs
  • The Imitation Game
  • Silicon Valley (TV Series)
  • Moneyball
  • The Founder
  • The Great Gatsby
  • The Devil Wears Prada
  • A Beautiful Mind

Writing Style:

The script consistently features sharp, rapid-fire dialogue, intricate character dynamics, and a strong emphasis on intellectual conflict, moral dilemmas, and power struggles. There's a recurring blend of wit, intelligence, and intensity that drives the narrative forward, often within professional or high-stakes environments. Themes of ambition, deception, and ethical ambiguity are explored through confrontational interactions and layered character motivations.

Style Similarities:

  • Aaron Sorkin
  • David Mamet
Other Similarities
Pass/Consider/Recommend


Explanation:


USP: The script's unique selling proposition is its ability to transform the technical creation of a social media platform into a timeless human drama about friendship, betrayal, and the corrupting nature of ambition, using innovative dual-timeline structure and Sorkin's signature rapid-fire dialogue to create intellectual and emotional engagement simultaneously.
Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$20-30 million

Target Audience Demographics: Young adults aged 18-34, tech enthusiasts, and fans of biographical dramas.

Marketability: The screenplay's exploration of the rise of Facebook, a cultural phenomenon, combined with strong character arcs and dramatic tension, makes it highly appealing to a broad audience.

The film's focus on real-life events and the ethical dilemmas of technology resonates with contemporary societal issues, attracting viewers interested in both drama and tech.

The compelling character dynamics and the blend of humor and drama create a captivating narrative that can engage diverse audiences.

Profit Potential: High, due to the film's relevance, potential for critical acclaim, and appeal to a wide demographic, especially with the ongoing interest in social media and technology.

Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by sharp, witty, and often confrontational dialogue that consistently reveals underlying tensions, power dynamics, and complex character motivations. This is further enhanced by concise yet impactful narrative descriptions that set a brisk pace and precise scene direction that amplifies atmosphere and tension. There's a recurring exploration of themes like ambition, social dynamics, privilege, and the ethical ambiguities of innovation, often delivered with a blend of intellectualism and dark humor.

Best representation: Scene 12 - Evasive Interrogations. Scene 12 is the best representation of the author's unique voice due to its masterful blend of sharp, character-revealing dialogue, vivid scene-setting that establishes social hierarchy and ambition, and precise direction that creates immediate tension. The dialogue between Mark, the Winklevoss twins, and Divya is laced with subtext, hinting at future conflicts and ethical compromises. The stark contrast between the opulent Porcellian Club and Mark's demeanor immediately establishes themes of social exclusion and ambition. The subsequent shift to a deposition scene, a recurring narrative device in this script, showcases the writer's skill in using legal confrontations to expose character flaws and past deceptions, all delivered with a signature blend of wit and underlying tension. This scene effectively encapsulates the writer's ability to build intrigue, explore complex character motivations, and maintain a compelling narrative pace through sharp exchanges and thematic depth.

Memorable Lines:

  • ERICA: You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole. (Scene 1)
  • MARK: If you guys were the inventors of Facebook you’d have invented Facebook. (Scene 19)
  • MARK: I need the algorithm. (Scene 5)
  • Divya: Mark Zuckerberg stole our website. It’s been live for more than 36 hours. (Scene 22)
  • SEAN: A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? (Scene 38)
Characters

Mark Zuckerberg:The socially awkward and ambitious co-founder of Facebook, driven by a desire for recognition and success.

Eduardo Saverin:Mark's best friend and business partner, who struggles with feelings of betrayal and marginalization as the company grows.

Sean Parker:The charismatic co-founder of Napster who becomes a mentor to Mark but also complicates his relationship with Eduardo.

Erica Albright:Mark's ex-girlfriend whose breakup with him serves as a catalyst for his emotional and social struggles.

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss:Identical twins and rowers who believe Mark stole their idea for a social networking site, leading to legal conflicts.

Story Shape

Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The overall plot of 'The Social Network' is compelling and engaging, effectively capturing the rise of Facebook and the complexities of friendship, ambition, and betrayal. The script excels in its character development, particularly with Mark Zuckerberg, who is portrayed as a brilliant yet socially awkward individual driven by a desire for acceptance and recognition. The dialogue is sharp and witty, reflecting the intelligence of the characters and the competitive atmosphere of Harvard. The intercutting between the present-day depositions and flashbacks creates a dynamic narrative structure that maintains tension and intrigue throughout. However, the story can feel somewhat one-dimensional at times, focusing heavily on Mark's perspective and potentially sidelining the experiences and motivations of other characters, such as Eduardo and the Winklevoss twins. This could lead to a lack of emotional depth in their arcs, making them appear more as antagonists than fully realized characters. Additionally, the pacing in certain sections may benefit from more balance, as some scenes feel rushed while others linger too long on exposition.
Suggestions: To improve the plot, consider deepening the backstories of supporting characters like Eduardo and the Winklevoss twins, allowing their motivations and conflicts to resonate more with the audience. This could involve adding scenes that showcase their perspectives and struggles, making their eventual confrontations with Mark more impactful. Additionally, exploring the ethical implications of Mark's actions and the consequences of his ambition could add layers to the narrative, prompting viewers to reflect on the moral complexities of success in the tech industry. Finally, tightening the pacing by ensuring that each scene contributes meaningfully to character development or plot progression could enhance the overall flow of the story.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Beginning The beginning of the script effectively sets the stage for Mark Zuckerberg's character and the world of Harvard University. The opening scene, with its engaging dialogue between Mark and Erica, introduces Mark's social awkwardness and obsession with status, which are central themes throughout the film. The use of voice-over narration adds depth to Mark's thoughts and motivations, allowing the audience to connect with him on a personal level. The transition from the bar to Mark's dorm room is seamless, showcasing his isolation and the contrast between his digital world and the social interactions around him. The introduction of Facemash as a catalyst for the story is clever, illustrating Mark's technical prowess and the immediate consequences of his actions. However, the dialogue can feel overly expository at times, with characters explaining concepts that may not need such detailed clarification. This could detract from the natural flow of conversation and make the characters seem less authentic.
Suggestions: To enhance the beginning, consider reducing the amount of exposition in the dialogue, allowing the characters to reveal their personalities and motivations through actions and subtler interactions. This could create a more organic introduction to the world of Harvard and the competitive atmosphere. Additionally, incorporating more visual storytelling elements, such as showing Mark's interactions with other students or his experiences in class, could provide a richer context for his character and the pressures he faces. Introducing the Winklevoss twins earlier in the narrative could also establish their significance and set up the conflict more effectively, creating a stronger foundation for the story's central themes.
Middle The middle section of the script is where the narrative truly gains momentum, as Mark's creation of Facebook unfolds alongside the growing tensions with Eduardo and the Winklevoss twins. The intercutting between the depositions and flashbacks maintains a gripping pace, allowing the audience to see the consequences of Mark's actions in real-time. The portrayal of the rapid growth of Facebook is exciting and captures the zeitgeist of the early 2000s tech boom. The character dynamics become more complex, particularly the friendship between Mark and Eduardo, which is tested by ambition and betrayal. However, the focus on Mark's perspective can overshadow Eduardo's contributions and struggles, making it difficult for the audience to fully empathize with him. Additionally, the Winklevoss twins, while presented as antagonists, could benefit from more nuanced characterization to avoid them feeling like mere obstacles in Mark's journey.
Suggestions: To improve the middle section, consider adding scenes that highlight Eduardo's efforts to contribute to the company and his emotional investment in their partnership. This could help the audience understand his perspective and the stakes involved in their conflict. Additionally, providing more depth to the Winklevoss twins by exploring their motivations and frustrations could create a more balanced portrayal of the antagonists, making their eventual confrontation with Mark more impactful. Incorporating moments of vulnerability for Mark, where he grapples with the ethical implications of his actions, could also add complexity to his character and enhance the overall narrative tension.
Ending The ending of the script delivers a powerful conclusion, showcasing the fallout from Mark's actions and the legal battles that ensue. The emotional weight of Eduardo's betrayal and the Winklevoss twins' pursuit of justice is palpable, creating a sense of tragedy amidst the success of Facebook. The final scenes effectively illustrate Mark's isolation, despite his newfound wealth and status, leaving the audience with a poignant reflection on the cost of ambition. The use of the deposition format allows for a compelling exploration of the themes of friendship, loyalty, and the moral complexities of success. However, the resolution can feel somewhat abrupt, with the rapid-fire delivery of facts about the characters' futures potentially undermining the emotional impact of the story's climax.
Suggestions: To enhance the ending, consider extending the emotional resolution between Mark and Eduardo, allowing for a more nuanced exploration of their friendship and the consequences of their choices. This could involve a final confrontation or a moment of reflection that emphasizes the personal stakes involved. Additionally, providing a more gradual transition into the factual updates about the characters' futures could create a stronger emotional resonance, allowing the audience to process the implications of Mark's success alongside the personal losses he experiences. Finally, incorporating a closing moment that encapsulates Mark's internal conflict and loneliness could leave a lasting impression on the audience, reinforcing the film's central themes.

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

1 - The Breakup at the Bar Tense, Sarcastic, Emotional 8.5 8 89 9 887978879 99888
2 - Bitter Beginnings Intense, Defensive, Angry, Reflective 8.5 8 88 9 887978979 99988
3 - Hacking Ambitions and Exclusive Access Bitter, Scheming, Exclusive 8.5 9 89 9 787.5788888 898.588
4 - Isolation in Code Intense, Calculating, Technological 8.2 9 88 8 887.5887987 898.588
5 - The Algorithm of Attraction Intense, Calculating, Emotional 8.2 9 88 9 889989879 89899
6 - The Viral Launch of Facemash Humorous, Dramatic, Embarrassing 8.5 9 99 8 887.5989999 998.588
7 - Network Overload Intense, Suspenseful, Confrontational 8.5 8 98.5 8 887.5989989 89988
8 - Tensions in the Deposition Room Tense, Defensive, Confrontational 8.5 8 98 9 887.5988988 88.58.599
9 - Rowing Ahead and Legal Battles Defensive, Competitive, Surprised 8.5 9 99 8 787.5888988 89999
10 - The Hearing and Its Consequences Defensive, Confrontational, Tense 8.5 8 98 9 887.5989989 99888.5
11 - Confrontation and Opportunity Defensive, Confrontational, Sarcastic 8.2 8 89 9 787888888 89888
12 - The Pitch at the Porcellian Club Tense, Confrontational, Ambitious 8.5 8 99 8 887.5989998 998.588
13 - Evasive Interrogations Defensive, Tense, Sarcastic 8.5 8 98 9 787.5988988 898.588
14 - Cold Revelations at Caribbean Night Sarcastic, Reflective, Innovative 8.5 9 89 9 889877977 99888
15 - The Seeds of Conflict Defensive, Evasive, Sarcastic, Confrontational 8.5 8 99 9 789988998 998.588
16 - Depositional Tensions Defensive, Confrontational, Reflective 8.5 8 98 9 887.5989988 898.588
17 - Evasive Maneuvers Tense, Suspenseful, Confrontational 8.5 8 99 8 787.5988887 898.588
18 - Fraternity Hazing and Legal Revelations Tense, Sarcastic, Cold 8.5 8 99 8 787.5988988 898.588
19 - Tensions Rise in the Deposition Room Defensive, Confrontational, Sarcastic 8.5 8 98.5 9 787.5988978 998.588
20 - Epiphany in the Snow Intense, Focused, Innovative 9.2 9 99 9 787.5677987 898.588
21 - A Disturbing Discovery Suspenseful, Humorous, Dramatic 8.5 8 99 8 887878988 89888
22 - Betrayal and Debate Tense, Confrontational, Suspenseful 8.5 8 99 8 787.5988988 898.588
23 - Confrontations in the Deposition Rooms Tense, Defensive, Confrontational 8.5 8 98.5 9 887.5989978 998.588
24 - A Night at Harvard: Distractions and Connections Informative, Light-hearted, Annoyed 8.2 8 88.5 9 687483787 898.588
25 - A Night of Recognition and Mockery Light-hearted, Sarcastic, Excited 8.5 8 88 9 687.5685877 998.588
26 - Tensions Rise: The Monetization Debate Tense, Defensive, Evasive 8.5 8 99 9 887.5989989 898.588
27 - Confrontation in the Deposition Room Tense, Defiant, Confrontational, Detached 9.2 9 98 10 8981089988 109999
28 - Confrontation and Distraction Tense, Emotional, Confrontational 8.5 8 88 9 887978879 99888
29 - Expansion Plans and Power Dynamics Serious, Decisive, Innovative 8.5 8 98.5 8 787.5687976 998.588
30 - Awkward Engagement Tense, Defensive, Sarcastic 8.5 8 99 9 787.5988888 998.588
31 - Legal Maneuvers in the Dorm Tense, Confrontational, Determined 8.5 8 99 9 887.5989999 898.588
32 - A Morning of Surprises Intimate, Revealing, Surprising 8.5 8 89 9 787.5686798 998.58.58
33 - Dismissed Aspirations Serious, Confrontational, Defensive 8.5 8 99 9 887.5989998 998.588
34 - Tensions in the Deposition Room Tense, Defensive, Sarcastic 8.5 8 99 8 787.5988988 998.588
35 - Tensions at Table 66 Tense, Humorous, Sarcastic 8.5 8 99 9 787878978 99888
36 - The Charismatic Intruder Sarcastic, Casual, Tense 8.5 8 98.5 9 787.5887997 898.588
37 - The Sean-a-thon: Paranoia and Power Intense, Confrontational, Reflective 8.5 8 99 9 889988988 998.58.58
38 - Tensions Rise Over Strategy Serious, Conversational, Reflective 8.5 8 99 8 787.5887887 998.588
39 - The Billion-Dollar Dream Sarcastic, Humorous, Tense 8.5 8 98 9 787.5978988 998.588
40 - The Accusation Tense, Defensive, Sarcastic, Dismissive 8.5 8 99 9 787.5988998 998.588
41 - Accusations and Artful Deceptions Tense, Humorous, Defensive 8.5 8 98.5 9 887.5988998 998.588
42 - Tensions Rise in the Dorm Room Tense, Humorous, Defensive 8.5 8 98 9 887.5888988 998.588
43 - The Contest and the Consequences Humorous, Tense, Casual 8.5 8 99 8 889887987 998.588
44 - Zip Line Chaos and Unexpected Guests Light-hearted, Casual, Surprising 8.5 8 89 9 587.5483787 898.588
45 - Business and Shots in the VIP Intense, Reflective, Confrontational 8.5 8 99 9 887978988 99888
46 - The Final Stretch Intense, Emotional, Competitive 8.5 8 98 8 789889889 89999
47 - Determined Resolve Tense, Humorous, Sarcastic 8.5 8 98.5 8 887.5988978 998.588
48 - Chaos and Confrontation in Palo Alto Sarcastic, Casual, Humorous 8.5 8 99 9 887978978 99888
49 - Tensions Rise: A Clash of Ambitions Tense, Confrontational, Serious 8.5 8 98.5 9 887.5989989 898.588
50 - Confrontation in the Dark Tense, Emotional, Confrontational 8.5 8 99 9 887.5988879 998.588
51 - Fire and Reconciliation Intense, Confrontational, Emotional 9.2 9 98 9 9981089989 109999
52 - Negotiating Ownership Serious, Businesslike, Tense 8.5 8 98 8 787788876 98899
53 - Reflections of Betrayal Reflective, Regretful, Defensive 8.5 8 99 9 887.5888989 898.588.5
54 - Betrayal and Revenge Tense, Confrontational, Emotional 8.5 8 98 9 887.5989989 898.588
55 - Betrayal in the Boardroom Intense, Confrontational, Emotional 9.2 9 98 9 9981089989 99999
56 - Betrayal and Celebration Confrontational, Intense, Defiant 9.2 9 99 9 987.51089999 998.588
57 - Party Interrupted Intense, Dark, Suspenseful 8.5 8 98 8 887989999 89888
58 - Caught in the Act Tense, Confrontational, Anxious 8.5 8 98 8 887989989 89999
59 - Late Night Calls Tense, Anxious, Serious 8.5 8 98 9 887.5989988 898.588
60 - Isolation in the Spotlight Intense, Reflective, Confrontational 8.7 9 99 9 987.5989989 898.588.5


Scene 1 - The Breakup at the Bar

FROM THE BLACK WE HEAR--
MARK (V.O.)
Did you know there are more people with
genius IQ’s living in China than there
are people of any kind living in the
United States?
ERICA (V.O.)
That can’t possibly be true.
MARK (V.O.)
It is.
ERICA (V.O.)
What would account for that?
MARK (V.O.)
Well, first, an awful lot of people live
in China. But here’s my question:
FADE IN:
INT. CAMPUS BAR - NIGHT
MARK ZUCKERBERG is a sweet looking 19 year old whose lack of
any physically intimidating attributes masks a very
complicated and dangerous anger. He has trouble making eye
contact and sometimes it’s hard to tell if he’s talking to you
or to himself.
ERICA, also 19, is Mark’s date. She has a girl-next-door face
that makes her easy to fall for. At this point in the
conversation she already knows that she’d rather not be there
and her politeness is about to be tested.
The scene is stark and simple.
MARK
How do you distinguish yourself in a
population of people who all got 1600 on
their SAT’s?
ERICA
I didn’t know they take SAT’s in China.
MARK
They don’t. I wasn’t talking about China
anymore, I was talking about me.
ERICA
You got 1600?
MARK
Yes. I could sing in an a Capella group,
but I can’t sing.

ERICA
Does that mean you actually got nothing
wrong?
MARK
I can row crew or invent a 25 dollar PC.
ERICA
Or you can get into a final club.
MARK
Or I can get into a final club.
ERICA
You know, from a woman’s perspective,
sometimes not singing in an a Capella
group is a good thing?
MARK
This is serious.
ERICA
On the other hand I do like guys who row
crew.
MARK
(beat)
Well I can’t do that.
ERICA
I was kid--
MARK
Yes, it means I got nothing wrong on the
test.
ERICA
Have you ever tried?
MARK
I’m trying right now.
ERICA
To row crew?
MARK
To get into a final club. To row crew?
No. Are you, like--whatever--delusional?
ERICA
Maybe, but sometimes you say two things
at once and I’m not sure which one I’m
supposed to be aiming at.
MARK
But you’ve seen guys who row crew, right?

ERICA
No.
MARK
Okay, well they’re bigger than me.
They’re world class athletes. And a
second ago you said you like guys who row
crew so I assumed you had met one.
ERICA
I guess I just meant I liked the idea of
it. The way a girl likes cowboys.
MARK
(beat)
Okay.
ERICA
Should we get something to eat?
MARK
Would you like to talk about something
else?
ERICA
No, it’s just since the beginning of the
conversation about finals club I think I
may have missed a birthday.
(can’t get over it)
There are really more people in China with
genius IQ’s than the entire population of--
MARK
The Phoenix is the most diverse. The Fly
Club, Roosevelt punched the Porc.
ERICA
Which one?
MARK
The Porcellian, the Porc, it’s the best
of the best.
ERICA
Which Roosevelt?
MARK
Theodore.
ERICA
Is it true that they send a bus around to
pick up girls who want to party with the
next Fed Chairman?
MARK
You can see why it’s so important to get
in.

ERICA
Okay, well, which is the easiest to get
into?
MARK is visibly hit by that...
MARK
Why would you ask me that?
ERICA
I’m just asking.
MARK
None of them, that’s the point. My friend
Eduardo made $300,000 betting oil futures
one summer and Eduardo won’t come close
to getting in. The ability to make money
doesn’t impress anybody around here.
ERICA
Must be nice. He made $300,000 in a
summer?
MARK
He likes meteorology.
ERICA
You said it was oil futures.
MARK
You can read the weather you can predict
the price of heating oil. I think you
asked me that because you think the final
club that’s easiest to get into is the
one where I’ll have the best chance.
ERICA
I asked--what?
MARK
You asked me which one was the easiest to
get into because you think that that’s
the one where I’ll have the best chance.
ERICA
The one that’s the easiest to get into
would be the one where anybody has the
best chance.
MARK
You didn’t ask me which one was the best
one, you asked me which one was the
easiest one.
ERICA
I was honestly just asking. Okay? I was
just asking to ask. Mark, I’m not
speaking in code.

MARK
Erica--
ERICA
You’re obsessed with finals clubs. You
have finals clubs OCD and you need to see
someone about it who’ll prescribe you
some sort of medication. You don’t care
if the side effects may include
blindness.
MARK
Final clubs. Not finals clubs and there’s
a difference between being obsessed and
being motivated.
ERICA
Yes there is.
MARK
Well you do--that was cryptic--so you do
speak in code.
ERICA
I didn’t mean to be cryptic.
MARK
I’m saying I need to do something
substantial in order to get the attention
of the clubs.
ERICA
Why?
MARK
Because they’re exclusive. And fun and
they lead to a better life.
ERICA
Teddy Roosevelt didn’t get elected
president because he was a member of the
Phoenix Club.
MARK
He was a member of the Porcellian and yes
he did.
ERICA
Well why don’t you just concentrate on
being the best you you can be?
MARK
Did you really just say that?
ERICA
(beat)
I was kidding.
(MORE)

ERICA (CONT'D)
Although just because something’s trite
it doesn’t make it any less--
MARK
I want to try to be straight forward with
you and tell you that I think you might
want to be a little more supportive. If I
get in I’ll be taking you...to the
events, and the gatherings...and you’ll
be meeting a lot of people you wouldn’t
normally get to meet.
ERICA
(smiles)
You would do that for me?
MARK
We’re dating.
ERICA
Okay, well I want to try and be straight
forward with you and let you know that
we’re not anymore.
MARK
What do you mean?
ERICA
We’re not dating anymore, I’m sorry.
MARK
Is this a joke?
ERICA
No, it’s not.
MARK
You’re breaking up with me?
ERICA
You’re going to introduce me to people I
wouldn’t normally have the chance to
meet? What the fff--What is that supposed
to mean?
MARK
Wait, settle down.
ERICA
What is it supposed to mean?
MARK
Erica, the reason we’re able to sit here
and drink right now is cause you used to
sleep with the door guy.

ERICA
The door guy, his name is Bobby. I did
not slept with the door guy, the door guy
is a friend of mine. He’s a perfectly
good class of people and what part of
Long Island are you from--Wimbledon?
MARK
Wait--
ERICA
I’m going back to my dorm.
MARK
Wait, wait, is this real?
ERICA
Yes.
MARK
Okay, then wait. I apologize, okay?
ERICA
I have to go study.
MARK
Erica--
ERICA
Yeah.
MARK
I’m sorry, I mean it.
ERICA
I appreciate that but--
MARK
Come on.
ERICA
--I have to study.
MARK
You don’t have to study. You don’t have
to study. Let’s just talk.
ERICA
I can’t.
MARK
Why?
ERICA
Because it’s exhausting. Dating you is
like dating a stairmaster.

MARK
All I meant is that you’re not likely to--
currently--I wasn’t making a comment on
your parents--I was just saying you go to
B.U., I was stating a fact, that’s all,
and if it seemed rude then of course I
apologize.
ERICA
I have to go study.
MARK
You don’t have to study.
ERICA
Why do you keep saying I don’t have to
study?!
MARK
Because you go to B.U.!
ERICA stares at him...
MARK (CONT’D)
(pause)
Do you want to get some food?
ERICA
I’m sorry you’re not sufficiently
impressed with my education.
MARK
And I’m sorry I don’t have a rowboat so
we’re even.
ERICA
I think we should just be friends.
MARK
I don’t want friends.
ERICA
I was being polite, I have no intention
of being friends with you.
MARK
I’m under some pressure right now with my
OS class and if we could just order food
I think we should--
ERICA takes MARK’s hand and looks at him tenderly...
ERICA
(close)
You are probably going to be a very
successful computer person.
(MORE)

ERICA (CONT'D)
But you’re going to go through life
thinking that girls don’t like you
because you’re a nerd. And I want you to
know, from the bottom of my heart, that
that won’t be true. It’ll be because
you’re an asshole.
And with that stinger, ERICA walks off we slowly push in on
MARK. A fuse has just been lit.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In a tense campus bar scene, Mark Zuckerberg and Erica, both 19, go on a date that quickly deteriorates. Mark boasts about his achievements and obsesses over social status, while Erica grows increasingly frustrated with his arrogance and insults. Their conversation escalates into a heated argument, culminating in Erica breaking up with Mark after he belittles her school. Despite his apologies, she leaves him alone, highlighting his simmering anger.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Repetitive arguments
  • Lack of resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, intense, and emotionally charged, effectively portraying the unraveling of a relationship. The dialogue is sharp and reveals deep-seated issues between the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the complexities of relationships, insecurities, and power dynamics is effectively portrayed in the scene. It delves into the characters' motivations and desires.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene revolves around the breakup of Mark and Erica, revealing underlying tensions and insecurities. It moves the story forward by highlighting key character dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on themes of intelligence, ambition, and social dynamics among college students. The characters' interactions feel authentic and engaging, offering a unique take on personal relationships and aspirations.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Mark and Erica are well-developed, with distinct personalities and conflicting traits. Their interactions reveal deep-seated insecurities and emotional vulnerabilities.

Character Changes: 8

Both Mark and Erica undergo significant emotional changes during the scene, with their breakup marking a turning point in their relationship dynamics. Their vulnerabilities are exposed.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to distinguish himself and gain acceptance into the exclusive final clubs, reflecting his desire for recognition, belonging, and validation of his intelligence and abilities.

External Goal: 7

Mark's external goal is to impress Erica and secure her support or approval, showcasing his need for personal connections and validation from others.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with emotional conflict between Mark and Erica, escalating to a breaking point in their relationship. The tension and confrontation drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with conflicts arising from differing goals and perspectives between Mark and Erica. The audience is kept uncertain about the outcome of their interactions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as the breakup between Mark and Erica has significant emotional consequences for both characters. It sets the stage for potential character growth and conflict.

Story Forward: 8

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing the cracks in Mark and Erica's relationship and setting the stage for future character developments. It marks a crucial turning point.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is somewhat predictable in terms of character interactions and outcomes, but the emotional depth and shifting power dynamics add elements of unpredictability that keep the audience intrigued.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the pursuit of social status and success versus personal authenticity and genuine relationships. Mark's focus on exclusive clubs clashes with Erica's emphasis on being true to oneself and valuing sincerity over external achievements.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, sadness, and resentment as the characters navigate their breakup. The raw emotions resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is a standout element of the scene, driving the emotional intensity and conflict between Mark and Erica. It effectively conveys their inner thoughts and feelings.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its dynamic dialogue, emotional intensity, and evolving character dynamics. The conflicts and revelations keep the audience invested in the unfolding drama.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional stakes, with well-timed pauses, confrontations, and revelations that enhance the dramatic impact and character dynamics.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a well-paced structure with clear character motivations and conflicts. The dialogue drives the narrative forward and maintains audience engagement.


Critique
  • The opening scene effectively uses voice-over to hook the audience with an intriguing fact about IQ distribution, which transitions smoothly into the visual setting of a campus bar date. This technique establishes Mark Zuckerberg's intellectual arrogance and social awkwardness right away, setting the tone for his character arc. However, the voice-over feels somewhat detached from the immediate action, potentially making it seem like an info-dump rather than an organic part of the narrative. As a screenwriting teacher, I'd suggest ensuring that such devices serve multiple purposes, like foreshadowing themes of exclusion and competition, but they should integrate more seamlessly to avoid pulling the audience out of the story.
  • The dialogue is sharp and revealing, showcasing Mark's insecurities and obsession with status through his boasts about SAT scores and final clubs. This builds tension effectively, leading to the breakup and highlighting themes of social hierarchy that recur throughout the script. That said, some exchanges, like Mark's detailed explanations of final clubs, come across as overly expository, which can bog down the pacing. For improvement, the writer could aim for more subtext, allowing the audience to infer information through character behavior and reactions rather than direct statements, making the scene feel more natural and engaging.
  • Erica's role as Mark's date and eventual ex is crucial for catalyzing his emotional descent, and her dialogue provides a grounded counterpoint to Mark's intensity. The breakup scene is poignant and sets up Mark's anger, which drives the plot forward. However, Erica feels somewhat underdeveloped; she's primarily reactive, serving as a mirror for Mark's flaws without much depth of her own. This could be enhanced by giving her more agency or personal motivations, such as hinting at her own aspirations or frustrations, to make the interaction more balanced and less one-sided, helping readers and viewers connect with her beyond her function in the story.
  • Visually, the scene is stark and simple, focusing on the characters' faces and body language, which amplifies the emotional intensity, especially in the closing shot where the camera pushes in on Mark. This cinematic choice effectively conveys his building rage, but the scene relies heavily on dialogue with minimal action or environmental interaction, which might make it feel static. As a critique, incorporating more dynamic visuals, like subtle movements or bar patrons in the background, could add layers and prevent the scene from becoming too talky, improving its flow and visual interest for a broader audience.
  • Overall, the scene successfully introduces the central conflict and themes of the screenplay, such as social exclusion and the pursuit of status, while establishing Mark as a complex protagonist. However, the rapid escalation to conflict might feel abrupt or contrived to some viewers, as Mark's insults and Erica's responses are quite direct. Softening some edges or adding transitional beats could make the emotional shift more believable and less melodramatic, ensuring that the audience empathizes with the characters' journeys rather than seeing them as caricatures.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtext into the dialogue to make conversations feel less expository; for example, have Mark imply his insecurities through hesitant pauses or indirect references rather than stating facts outright, allowing the audience to engage more actively.
  • Add visual elements to break up the dialogue-heavy scenes, such as showing Mark fidgeting with a drink or Erica glancing at her watch, to convey emotions and advance the story visually, making the scene more cinematic and less reliant on words.
  • Develop Erica's character by adding a line or two that reveals her own background or aspirations, such as a brief mention of her studies or dreams, to make her breakup more impactful and give her agency beyond reacting to Mark.
  • Consider revising the voice-over to tie it more closely to Mark's internal monologue during the date, perhaps by having it overlap with visual cues in the bar, to create a stronger narrative link and enhance thematic cohesion.
  • Trim redundant dialogue for better pacing; for instance, consolidate Mark's explanations of final clubs into a more concise exchange, focusing on key emotional beats to maintain tension and keep the audience engaged without overwhelming them with information.



Scene 2 - Bitter Beginnings
EXT. BAR - NIGHT
As MARK busts out of the bar and into the population of
Harvard Square.
CUT TO:
EXT. HARVARD SQUARE - NIGHT
As MARK continues on, he passes a group of people heading in
the opposite direction for a party.
As MARK’s steady and determined stride continues, he’ll pass
by all kinds of (seemingly) happy, well-adjusted, socially
adept people.
The pulsing intro of a song crashes in that will take us
through the following sequence
CUT TO:
TITLE:
Harvard University
Fall 2003
INT. KIRKLAND HOUSE/LOBBY - NIGHT
As the MUSIC CONTINUES and MARK busts into the lobby of his
dorm. He doesn’t look at anyone as he heads up the stairs and
we
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
A bedroom that’s part of a three-bedroom suite. The MUSIC
CONTINUES as MARK walks in, flicks his lap-top on without
looking at it and walks out of frame as we follow MARK to his
mini-frigde where he pulls out a Beck’s beer.
MARK’s fingers dance easily on the keyboard--like a Juilliard
pianist warming up. The website he’s just called up gets
loaded onto the screen.
Zuckonit.com

This is the only place he’s comfortable.
TITLE:
8:13 PM
He begins blogging.
MARK (V.O.)
Erica Albright’s a bitch. Do you think
that’s because her family changed their
name from Albrecht or do you think it’s
because all B.U. girls are bitches?
He takes a good gulp of his drink. We see the words we’re
hearing filling up his computer screen--
MARK (V.O.) (CONT’D)
For the record, she may look like a 34C
but she’s getting all kinds of help from
our friends at Victoria’s Secret. She’s a
34B, as in barely anything there. False
advertising.
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
TITLE:
9:48 PM
MARK (V.O.)
The truth is she has a nice face. I need
to do something to help me take my mind
off her. Easy enough, except I need an
idea.
MARK takes out a keyboard for his desktop computer takes a
drink from his beer.
BILLY OLSON walks into the room carrying a six pack. He sits
on the bed behind MARK and opens one for himself.
MARK has moved his mouse to an icon on his desktop labeled
“Kirkland Facebook”. He clicks and opens it. A menu of photos
appear. He blogs again.
MARK (V.O.) (CONT’D)
I’m a little intoxicated, I’m not gonna
lie. So what if it’s not even 10PM and
it’s a Tuesday night? The Kirkland
facebook is open on my desktop and some
of these people have pretty horrendous
facebook pics.
(MORE)

MARK (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Billy Olson’s sitting here and had the
idea of putting some of these next to
pictures of farm animals and have people
vote on who’s hotter.
CUT TO:
INT. A BUS - NIGHT
It resembles the kind of bus that would take you to the rental
car place but on board are two-dozen COLLEGE GIRLS who are
dressed for a party. Last minute make-up touch-ups are being
done and a joint is being passed.
MARK (V.O.)
I think he’s on to something.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
TITLE:
10:17 PM
MARK
Yea, it’s on. I’m not gonna do the farm
animals but I like the idea of comparing
two people together. It gives the whole
thing a very “Turing” feel since people’s
ratings of the pictures--
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Character Study"]

Summary In Fall 2003, Mark Zuckerberg exits a bar into Harvard Square, visibly frustrated after a breakup with Erica Albright. He retreats to his dorm room, where he begins a bitter blog rant about her while drinking beer. As he types, his friend Billy Olson arrives with more beer and suggests a photo comparison feature for a new website. Mark, fueled by his emotions and intoxication, contemplates the idea, showcasing his creative energy amidst his internal conflict.
Strengths
  • Intense character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
  • Compelling conflict progression
Weaknesses
  • Negative character interactions
  • Emotional turmoil may be overwhelming for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the protagonist's emotional turmoil and sets up a significant turning point in the story. The intense dialogue and character dynamics create a compelling narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the protagonist's social struggles and emotional turmoil is well-developed and drives the scene forward with compelling character dynamics.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses significantly in this scene, setting up a key conflict and character development that will impact the story's direction.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on college life, relationships, and social media interactions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their interactions drive the emotional intensity of the scene. The protagonist's complex personality and the love interest's reactions add depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

The protagonist undergoes a significant emotional change, moving from initial social awkwardness to a burst of anger and defiance, setting up his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to distract himself from thoughts of Erica Albright and find an idea to focus on. This reflects his need for validation, distraction from personal issues, and a desire for intellectual engagement.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to engage in a project involving comparing people's photos, reflecting his desire for social connection, diversion, and perhaps a sense of control or power.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the protagonist and the love interest reaches a high level, driving the emotional intensity and character development in the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with internal conflicts and social dynamics providing obstacles for the protagonist to navigate.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in terms of the protagonist's emotional well-being and social relationships, setting up important consequences for his actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by establishing key conflicts, character motivations, and emotional dynamics that will shape future events.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and the protagonist's evolving thoughts and actions, keeping the audience intrigued about his next moves.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident is the protagonist's view of relationships and social interactions as transactional or superficial versus a deeper, more meaningful connection. This challenges his beliefs about human connections and authenticity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly through the protagonist's internal struggles and the intense dialogue between characters.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is intense and revealing, showcasing the characters' emotions and motivations effectively. It drives the conflict and character development forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its dynamic pacing, witty dialogue, and the protagonist's relatable internal struggles and interactions with other characters.

Pacing: 9

The pacing effectively builds tension and intrigue, moving seamlessly between locations and character interactions to maintain the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character actions, and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct locations and transitions, effectively setting up the protagonist's internal and external goals.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Mark's emotional transition from anger to obsessive focus, mirroring his character arc in the film. It builds directly on the previous scene's conflict, using Mark's breakup-fueled rage as a catalyst for his creative process, which is a strong narrative choice. However, the shift from public humiliation to private blogging feels somewhat abrupt, lacking a more gradual decompression that could heighten the audience's understanding of Mark's internal state and make his actions feel more earned.
  • The use of voice-over for Mark's blogging is a clever device to reveal his bitter, misogynistic thoughts, providing insight into his psyche and reinforcing the film's themes of social isolation and digital expression. That said, the content of the voice-over is quite harsh and could risk alienating viewers if not balanced with more nuanced character development; it portrays Mark as unlikable early on, which might make it harder for audiences to empathize with him later, especially since this is only the second scene.
  • The introduction of Billy Olson and the quick pivot to the Facemash idea concept is functional for plot advancement, but it feels contrived. Billy's entrance with a six-pack and immediate suggestion comes across as expository convenience rather than organic character interaction, which could undermine the realism of their friendship and make the scene feel more like a setup for the story than a lived moment. This might benefit from more buildup to establish their relationship.
  • Visually, the scene uses strong contrasts—Mark's determined stride through a lively Harvard Square versus his isolated dorm room—to underscore themes of exclusion and the allure of digital worlds. The intercut with the bus full of social, carefree college girls is effective in highlighting Mark's alienation, but it could be more integrated to avoid feeling like a disjointed montage. Additionally, the 'Turing' explanation in dialogue is a bit on-the-nose and technical, potentially confusing viewers who aren't familiar with the reference, and it might slow the pace without adding emotional depth.
  • Pacing-wise, the scene moves quickly through several beats—Mark's walk, blogging, Billy's arrival, and idea refinement—which keeps the energy high but sacrifices depth in key moments. For instance, Mark's blogging rant could be lingered on to build tension or show his escalating anger more cinematically, rather than relying solely on voice-over. This rapid progression fits the overall film's fast-cut style but might overwhelm viewers in an early scene, making it harder to absorb the character motivations.
  • Thematically, this scene plants seeds for the invention of Facebook by showing how personal rejection fuels technological innovation, which is a core element of the story. However, it could better foreshadow Mark's future obsessions with social dynamics and exclusivity by adding subtle visual or dialogue cues, such as referencing the final clubs again or hinting at the addictive nature of online interactions. As it stands, the scene is solid in setup but could use more layers to connect it seamlessly to the broader narrative.
Suggestions
  • Smooth the transition from the bar to the dorm by adding more physical actions or internal reflections during Mark's walk through Harvard Square, such as him clenching his fists or muttering to himself, to better illustrate his anger dissipating and evolving into determination, making the shift to blogging feel more organic.
  • Enhance the voice-over blogging by intercutting with visual flashbacks or symbolic imagery (e.g., quick cuts to Erica or padded bras) to make the rant more cinematic and less tell-heavy, helping to engage the audience emotionally and reduce the risk of it coming across as overly expository or mean-spirited.
  • Develop Billy Olson's character slightly by adding a line or two of backstory or prior interaction with Mark, such as a shared joke or reference to a previous conversation, to make his entrance and idea suggestion feel more natural and less like a plot device, strengthening the authenticity of their friendship.
  • Refine the 'Turing' dialogue to be more accessible and integrated into the action; for example, show Mark demonstrating the concept on screen with simple graphics or user interactions, turning it into a visual explanation that educates the audience without halting the flow, and tie it back to Mark's personal frustrations for added emotional resonance.
  • Extend the intercut with the bus scene to include more sensory details or a brief character moment (e.g., a girl laughing or sharing a story) to heighten the contrast with Mark's isolation, making the thematic parallels clearer and more impactful, while ensuring the cuts don't disrupt the scene's rhythm.
  • Add foreshadowing elements, such as Mark glancing at a photo of a final club or mentioning the potential for viral spread, to better connect this scene to future events in the script, helping to build anticipation and reinforce the film's exploration of social hierarchies and digital innovation without overloading the scene with exposition.



Scene 3 - Hacking Ambitions and Exclusive Access
EXT. FINAL CLUB - NIGHT
A bouncer--a townie in a tuxedo and a headset--is manning the
velvet rope that guards the thick, wooden, red double-doors
that lead to, believe it or not, one of the most exclusive
clubs in the world.
Four college girls are already waiting in line but that
number’s about to grow as the bus pulls up and opens its
doors.
MARK (VO)
--will be more implicit than, say,
choosing a number to represent each
person’s hotness like they do on
hotornot.com. The first thing we’re going
to need is a lot of pictures.
(MORE)

MARK (VO) (CONT'D)
Unfortunately, Harvard doesn’t keep a
public centralized facebook so I’m going
to have to get all the images from the
individual houses that people are in. Let
the hacking begin.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
There are two more kids in the room with MARK--DUSTIN
MOSKOVITZ and CHRIS HUGHES.
MARK (V.O.)
First up is Kirkland. They keep
everything open and allow indexes in
their Apache configuration, so a little
WGET magic is all that’s necessary to
download the entire Kirkland facebook.
Kids’ stuff.
On the computer screen, we’ve been seeing him download picture
after picture of Harvard girls.
CUT TO:
EXT. FINAL CLUB - NIGHT
THREE COEDS are talking to the BOUNCER. The BOUNCER looks up
at TWO HANDSOME CLUB MEMBERS. The MEMBERS give him the nod and
the FIVE COEDS are let past the velvet rope.
They’re led up a half flight of red-carpeted stairs to a party
that’s about a half-hour away from being in full swing.
The CLUB PRESIDENT is addressing the GUESTS from the top of
the stairs--
CLUB PRESIDENT
Excuse me everybody, you are at one of
the oldest, one of the most exclusive
clubs--not just at Harvard but in the
world--and I want to welcome you all to
Phoenix Club’s first party of the fall
semester.
CUT BACK TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In Scene 3, the contrast between the exclusive atmosphere of a Final Club and Mark's clandestine hacking efforts unfolds. As a bouncer manages entry to the club, Mark narrates his plan to create a rating system by hacking into Harvard's databases to download photos of students. The scene alternates between the glamorous club environment, where coeds gain entry through the approval of club members, and Mark's dorm room, where he collaborates with friends to execute his hacking scheme. This juxtaposition highlights themes of social exclusivity and digital intrusion, culminating in a sense of anticipation and ambition.
Strengths
  • Engaging concept of social ranking
  • Effective portrayal of ambition and exclusivity
  • Well-structured scene progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up a scheme involving social ranking, introduces the exclusive world of final clubs, and showcases the protagonist's bitter and ambitious nature. The execution is engaging and sets the stage for future developments.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using technology for social ranking within an exclusive club setting is intriguing and sets up potential conflicts and character growth. It adds depth to the narrative and highlights the protagonist's ambition.

Plot: 8

The plot advances through the protagonist's scheme and the introduction of the final club environment. It sets up conflicts and motivations for future events, driving the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on ambition and privacy invasion, blending technological elements with social commentary. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined, with the protagonist's bitterness and ambition shining through. The interactions between characters add depth and set the stage for future developments.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the protagonist's motivations and ambitions are clearly established, hinting at potential transformations in the future.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to gather images for a project by hacking into individual houses' databases. This reflects his drive for success, intelligence, and a desire to push boundaries.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to gain access to the exclusive club and its resources. This reflects his ambition, curiosity, and willingness to take risks.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict is simmering beneath the surface, hinted at through the protagonist's bitterness and ambition. It sets up tension and potential confrontations in future scenes.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and challenges the protagonist's actions, creating a sense of risk and unpredictability for both the characters and the audience.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the protagonist delves into a scheme involving social ranking and exclusive clubs, hinting at potential consequences and conflicts. It raises the tension and anticipation for future events.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a key scheme and setting up conflicts within the exclusive club environment. It lays the groundwork for future plot developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable as the protagonist's actions and the unfolding events create tension and uncertainty about the consequences of his choices.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around privacy invasion versus achieving personal goals. The protagonist's actions challenge ethical boundaries and societal norms.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of intrigue and anticipation through the protagonist's actions and the exclusive club setting. It sets the stage for emotional developments in future events.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' personalities and motivations. It sets the tone for the scene and establishes the dynamics between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of suspense, moral dilemmas, and character dynamics. The unfolding events keep the audience intrigued and invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a balance of dialogue-driven moments and action sequences that maintain the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for the genre, with clear scene headings, character cues, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively transitioning between locations and characters while maintaining a coherent narrative flow.


Critique
  • The parallel editing between Mark's hacking in his dorm room and the Final Club party effectively establishes a key thematic contrast between digital isolation and social exclusivity, which is central to the film's exploration of Mark Zuckerberg's character and the origins of Facebook. This technique mirrors the script's broader narrative style, as seen in earlier scenes, and helps to visually underscore Mark's outsider status while building on the anger and determination shown in Scene 2. However, the execution feels somewhat heavy-handed in places, as the cuts between locations can disrupt the flow, making the scene feel more like a montage than a cohesive sequence, potentially alienating viewers who might struggle to connect the dots without prior context.
  • Mark's voice-over serves as a strong expository tool, providing insight into his thought process and advancing the plot by explaining the hacking process and the 'Turing' concept. This is particularly effective in showing his intellectual arrogance and obsession, which ties back to his breakup in Scene 1 and his blogging rant in Scene 2. That said, the voice-over risks being too didactic, spelling out ideas like the rating system's mechanics in a way that feels overly explanatory, which could reduce tension and make the scene less engaging for audiences who prefer subtlety. It might benefit from being trimmed or integrated more seamlessly with visual elements to avoid feeling like a lecture.
  • Character development is sparse but functional; Mark is portrayed as increasingly focused and detached, with Dustin and Chris serving as background supporters, reinforcing his role as the lone genius. The Final Club scenes, however, lack depth in the peripheral characters (e.g., the bouncer, club members, and coeds), who come across as archetypes rather than individuals, which diminishes the contrast's impact. This could be an opportunity to add more nuance to the social elite to heighten the thematic irony, but as it stands, the scene prioritizes Mark's internal world, which is consistent with the script's focus but might make the parallel editing feel unbalanced.
  • Thematically, the scene adeptly illustrates digital intrusion into exclusive social spheres, a motif that recurs throughout the script, and it builds suspense by showing the beginnings of what will become Facebook. However, the pacing feels rushed in the dorm room segments, with rapid technical descriptions that might confuse viewers unfamiliar with coding terms like 'WGET' or 'Apache configuration.' This could alienate non-tech-savvy audiences, and the visual depictions of hacking (e.g., images downloading) are straightforward but could be more cinematic to maintain engagement. Additionally, the scene's end is abrupt, cutting off mid-voice-over, which mirrors the unresolved anger from Scene 2 but might leave viewers wanting a stronger transition to Scene 4.
  • Overall, the scene is strong in its thematic execution and visual contrast, effectively capturing Mark's escalating ambition and the film's critique of social hierarchies. However, it could improve in emotional depth and subtlety; for instance, the voice-over's bitterness from the previous scene is carried over well, but the lack of interpersonal dialogue in the dorm room makes the characters feel static. Compared to the high-tension argument in Scene 1 or the introspective blogging in Scene 2, this scene feels more procedural, which is appropriate for advancing the plot but might benefit from more emotional stakes to keep the audience invested.
Suggestions
  • Refine the voice-over to be less expository by incorporating more visual storytelling; for example, show the hacking process through dynamic screen graphics or Mark's facial expressions, reducing reliance on narration to explain every step, which could make the scene more immersive and less tell-heavy.
  • Enhance the parallel editing by adding subtle transitions or overlapping audio elements (e.g., the pulsing music from Scene 2 carrying over) to create a smoother flow between the dorm room and Final Club, ensuring the contrast feels organic rather than jarring and building greater thematic resonance.
  • Develop secondary characters like Dustin and Chris with brief, revealing interactions; for instance, have them react more actively to Mark's hacking plan with a line or two that shows their personalities or relationship dynamics, adding depth and making the scene less Mark-centric.
  • Incorporate more sensory details in the Final Club scenes to heighten the atmosphere, such as descriptions of music, laughter, or the opulence of the interior, to better contrast with Mark's sterile dorm environment and emphasize the themes of exclusivity and intrusion.
  • Tighten the pacing by condensing the technical voice-over explanations and focusing on key moments of action, such as the photo downloads or the club entrance, to maintain momentum and lead more directly into Scene 4's continued hacking, ensuring the scene feels purposeful and not overly drawn out.



Scene 4 - Isolation in Code
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
MARK finishes another drink and gets back to his work.
TITLE:
1:03 AM

MARK (V.O.)
Next is Elliot. They’re also open but
with no indexes on Apache. I can run an
empty search and it returns all of the
images in the database in a single page.
Then I can save the page and Mozilla will
save all the images for me. Excellent.
Moving right along.
Flying by at super-speed on MARK’s computer screen have been
commands and images that the rest of us can’t possibly
understand.
CUT TO:
INT. FINAL CLUB - NIGHT
The best and the brightest are checking out the hottest and
the easiest.
We see a shot of uniformed FEMALE BARTENDERS making a couple
of drinks with top-shelf bottles, a DJ working the highest end
equipment and 20 year old guys, some of whom look 15, in
blazers, khakis and club ties.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
MARK (V.O)
Lowell has some security. They require a
username/password combo and I’m going to
go ahead and say they don’t have access
to main FAS user database, so they have
no way of detecting an intrusion.
11B INT. FINAL CLUB - NIGHT 11B
It’s on. Body shots. A couple making out in the corner. A
matchbox gets slid open by perfectly manicured fingers that
take out a few white pills. Two girls are dancing with each
other and move into a kiss.
MARK’s voiceovers are starting to overlap and cascade into
each other--
MARK (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Adams has no security but limits the
number of results to twenty a page. All I
need to do is break out the same script I
used on Lowell and we’re set.
MARK (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Quincy has no online facebook, what a
sham. Nothing I can do about that.
CUT TO:

MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
Instructions and images fly across MARK’s screen--
MARK (V.O.)
Dunster is intense. Not only is there no
public directory but there’s no--
MARK (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Leverett is a little better. It’s
slightly obnoxious that they only let you
view one picture at a time and I’m not
about to--
MARK (V.O.) (CONT’D)
--definitely necessary to break out the
emacs and modify that perl script with--
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, set in Mark's dorm room at night, he intensely works on hacking various Harvard house facebooks while narrating his strategies and technical challenges. His focus on bypassing security measures contrasts sharply with the lively, hedonistic atmosphere of a party at the Final Club, where students engage in social revelry. The scene highlights Mark's isolation as he becomes absorbed in his work, modifying scripts to overcome obstacles, while the vibrant party scenes emphasize the social excess he is detached from.
Strengths
  • Effective juxtaposition of hacking and social elitism
  • Clear character development for Mark
  • Engaging intercutting between locations
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth in dialogue
  • Potential detachment from character emotions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene effectively combines tension, technological intrigue, and character development, setting up future conflicts and plot progression.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of hacking into Harvard's student directories to create a rating system is intriguing and sets up the foundation for the development of Facebook. It highlights Mark's ambition and disregard for social norms.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Mark delves deeper into his project, setting up future conflicts with the establishment and showcasing his transformation into a tech innovator.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on hacking culture by intertwining it with social dynamics and ethical dilemmas. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Mark, are well-developed in this scene. Mark's determination and social detachment are highlighted, setting the stage for his complex character arc.

Character Changes: 8

Mark undergoes a subtle shift in this scene, moving further into his isolated and obsessive mindset, setting the stage for his transformation into a tech mogul.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal in this scene is to successfully hack into various university databases. This reflects his desire for recognition, power, and validation of his intelligence and skills.

External Goal: 7.5

Mark's external goal is to gain access to sensitive information from different university databases. This goal reflects the immediate challenge he faces in proving his hacking abilities and achieving his desired status.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The conflict between Mark's hacking project and the exclusive social world of the final club creates tension and sets up future confrontations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with challenges and obstacles that create suspense and uncertainty about the protagonist's success in hacking into the university databases.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high as Mark delves deeper into his project, risking his reputation and potential consequences for hacking into Harvard's systems.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by establishing key elements of Mark's character, his project, and the conflicts to come, laying the groundwork for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in Mark's hacking strategies and the juxtaposition of his activities with the social events at the Final Club.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethics of hacking and privacy invasion. Mark's actions challenge societal norms and legal boundaries, raising questions about the morality of his pursuits.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of detachment and intrigue rather than deep emotional engagement, focusing more on intellectual and strategic elements.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys Mark's technical expertise and social alienation. It also hints at the conflicts to come between Mark and the establishment.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of suspenseful hacking sequences and vibrant social interactions, keeping the audience intrigued by the protagonist's actions and decisions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum, alternating between fast-paced hacking sequences and atmospheric descriptions of the Final Club.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for the genre, effectively conveying the visual and auditory elements of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively transitions between different settings and character perspectives, enhancing the overall flow of the narrative.


Critique
  • The parallel editing between Mark's hacking in his dorm room and the hedonistic party at the Final Club effectively reinforces the film's central themes of social exclusion, digital intrusion, and the contrast between intellectual isolation and physical sociality. This technique builds on the momentum from previous scenes, particularly Scene 3, by escalating Mark's obsessive behavior and highlighting his emotional descent into anger and distraction after the breakup with Erica. However, the heavy reliance on voice-over narration to explain the hacking process can feel overly expository, potentially distancing viewers who are not tech-savvy, as it prioritizes technical detail over emotional engagement, making the scene feel more like a tutorial than a dramatic moment.
  • Mark's character development is advanced through his solitary focus and rapid typing, which visually and aurally emphasize his genius and alienation, but the scene lacks interpersonal interaction, as Mark is alone for the entirety. This isolation mirrors his social awkwardness established in earlier scenes but risks making him less relatable or dynamic, as there's no dialogue or conflict with other characters to humanize his actions or provide contrast. The voice-over cascades add a sense of urgency and chaos, reflecting his building anger, but they may overwhelm the audience, reducing clarity and emotional impact by burying key moments in jargon-heavy exposition.
  • The intercutting with the Final Club party scenes is thematically rich, showing the exclusivity and allure that Mark covets, which ties back to his rant in Scene 2 about social status. Visually, the party elements—such as body shots, kissing, and drug use—are vivid and contrast sharply with Mark's sterile dorm environment, enhancing the scene's irony and foreshadowing the social network's purpose. However, the party sequences feel somewhat repetitive and detached from Mark's narrative, as they don't directly advance the plot or deepen character relationships, potentially diluting the focus on Mark's internal journey and making the cuts feel obligatory rather than integral.
  • Pacing is generally strong, with the super-speed visuals of commands and images on the screen conveying Mark's frenetic energy and the passage of time (e.g., timestamps like 1:03 AM), which helps maintain tension. Yet, the rapid voice-over overlaps and cascades can confuse viewers, especially if the technical terms (e.g., 'Apache', 'WGET', 'Perl script') are not contextualized, leading to a loss of emotional connection. Additionally, the scene's end, with Mark modifying a script mid-voice-over, feels abrupt and unresolved, failing to provide a clear transition or cliffhanger that ties into the next scene, which could leave audiences disoriented about the narrative progression.
  • Overall, the scene successfully escalates the conflict from Mark's personal humiliation to his vengeful creativity, but it underutilizes opportunities for visual storytelling. For instance, the hacking could be shown more cinematically through metaphors or symbolic imagery rather than literal voice-over explanations, which might better engage a broader audience. While the tone maintains the film's blend of awkward humor and tension, the lack of subtext in Mark's actions—such as connecting his hacking directly to his anger over Erica—makes the scene feel somewhat mechanical, prioritizing plot mechanics over character depth and emotional resonance.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more visual metaphors for the hacking process, such as animated graphics or symbolic representations (e.g., digital locks breaking or data streams flowing), to reduce reliance on voice-over and make the technical elements more accessible and engaging for a general audience.
  • Add brief moments of character interaction or internal reflection to break up Mark's solitude; for example, have him pause to glance at a photo of Erica or mutter to himself, which could deepen his emotional portrayal and connect his actions more explicitly to his breakup.
  • Enhance the parallel editing by making the Final Club party scenes more thematically linked to Mark's activities, such as showing partygoers using digital devices or discussing online ratings, to strengthen the contrast and foreshadow the rise of social media without adding new elements.
  • Refine the voice-over to be less dense and more selective, focusing on key insights or emotional beats rather than step-by-step technical explanations; this could involve cutting some cascades and using intercuts to imply complexity, improving pacing and clarity.
  • Extend the scene's ending to provide a stronger transition, such as a visual cue (e.g., Mark's screen freezing momentarily) or a line of voice-over that hints at the next step in his plan, ensuring better narrative flow and building anticipation for subsequent scenes.



Scene 5 - The Algorithm of Attraction
INT. KIRKLAND HOUSE/STAIRWAY - NIGHT
EDUARDO SAVERIN, a sweet-looking Brazilian sophomore wearing a
three-piece suit is rushing up the stairs two at a time.
TITLE:
2:08 AM
MARK (V.O.)
Done.
EDUARDO gets to the top of the stairs and hurries into--
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - CONTINUOUS
EDUARDO
What’s going on?
MARK (V.O.)
Perfect timing. Eduardo’s here and he’s
going to have the key ingredient.
EDUARDO
Mark.
MARK
Wardo.
EDUARDO
You and Erica split up?
MARK
How did you know that?
EDUARDO
It’s on your blog.

MARK
Yeah.
EDUARDO
Are you alright?
MARK
I need you.
EDUARDO
I’m here for you.
MARK
No, I need the algorithm you use to rank
chess players.
EDUARDO
Are you okay?
MARK
We’re ranking girls.
EDUARDO
You mean other students?
MARK
Yeah.
EDUARDO
You think this is such a good idea?
MARK
I need the algorithm.
EDUARDO
Mark--
MARK
I need the algorithm.
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
EDUARDO is writing an equation with a grease marker on the
window. When the equation’s done it looks like this:
Girl A:
Ea = 1
1 + 10(Rb - Ra) / 400

Girl B:
Eb = 1
1 + 10(Ra - Rb) / 400
EDUARDO
Give each girl a base rating of 1400. At
any given time “Girl A” has a rating R-a
and “Girl B” has a rating R-b.
MARK
When any two girls are matched up there’s
an expectation of which will win based on
their current rating, right?
EDUARDO
(tapping the window)
Yes. And those expectations are expressed
this way.
MARK
Let’s write it.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this tense scene set at 2:08 AM in Mark Zuckerberg's dorm room, Eduardo Saverin rushes in to find Mark obsessively focused on adapting a chess ranking algorithm to rank girls. Despite Eduardo's concerns about Mark's recent breakup and the ethics of the idea, Mark insists on the algorithm's importance. Eduardo reluctantly explains and writes the algorithm on the window, showcasing the urgency of their late-night discussion. The scene highlights the conflict between Eduardo's emotional support and Mark's single-minded determination, ending with them continuing to work on the algorithm.
Strengths
  • Intense character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
  • Plot advancement
Weaknesses
  • Potential controversy of the algorithm concept

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene is well-structured, emotionally charged, and pivotal in setting up the central conflict and character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of developing a rating algorithm for people adds depth to the characters and explores themes of social hierarchy and manipulation.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly as the algorithm creation introduces a central conflict and sets the stage for future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on the concept of ranking individuals by applying a chess ranking algorithm to girls, highlighting the characters' unconventional approach to social dynamics. The authenticity of the characters' dialogue adds depth to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' interactions and motivations are well-defined, showcasing their complexities and setting up future character arcs.

Character Changes: 8

Mark's determination and manipulation of relationships showcase a shift in his character, setting the stage for further development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to understand Mark's intentions and to express concern about the ethical implications of ranking girls. This reflects Eduardo's values of empathy and ethical behavior.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to provide Mark with the algorithm he needs for ranking girls, showcasing his loyalty and willingness to help a friend in need.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Mark and Eduardo over the algorithm creation adds tension and foreshadows future conflicts, heightening the stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Eduardo's ethical concerns oppose Mark's utilitarian approach, creating a compelling conflict that drives the scene forward.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are established through the creation of the algorithm, impacting personal relationships and future events.

Story Forward: 8

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a key plot element and deepening character conflicts.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected revelation of the characters' intentions and the moral conflict that arises, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethical dilemma of objectifying and ranking individuals based on a mathematical algorithm. Eduardo's concern for the moral implications clashes with Mark's utilitarian approach to the situation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The emotional impact is high as the scene delves into personal betrayals, ambition, and the manipulation of social dynamics.

Dialogue: 8.2

The dialogue is sharp, revealing character dynamics and underlying tensions, driving the scene's emotional intensity.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the rapid dialogue exchanges, the moral dilemma presented, and the suspense surrounding the characters' actions and motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a balance of dialogue and action that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and character actions, enhancing readability and visual clarity.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct beats of dialogue and action, effectively building tension and revealing character motivations.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the dynamic between Mark and Eduardo, highlighting Mark's obsessive drive and Eduardo's ethical reservations, which are crucial for character development in the overall script. However, the rapid shift from personal concern about Mark's breakup to the technical discussion of the algorithm feels abrupt, potentially undermining the emotional weight of their friendship and making the transition seem contrived rather than organic. This could alienate viewers who are still processing the fallout from the previous scenes, as it prioritizes plot advancement over character depth.
  • The dialogue serves to advance the plot by introducing the chess algorithm adaptation, but it borders on being overly expository, especially when Eduardo explains the formula. This technical detail might confuse or disengage audience members unfamiliar with such concepts, and it lacks the natural flow of conversation, coming across as a info-dump rather than a believable exchange. Additionally, the voice-over from Mark at the beginning feels redundant with the on-screen action, as it could be integrated more subtly to avoid telling the audience what they can already infer.
  • Visually, the scene is somewhat static, with most of the action confined to dialogue and the act of writing on the window. While the grease marker on the glass is a nice touch that adds a layer of intimacy and creativity, the overall staging doesn't fully capitalize on the setting's potential to show Mark's cluttered, obsessive environment. This contrasts with the more dynamic intercutting in previous scenes, making this one feel less cinematic and more like a talking-head sequence, which could reduce tension and visual interest.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the script's exploration of social exclusion and digital intrusion, as Mark's idea to rank people echoes the exclusivity of the final clubs shown earlier. However, it misses an opportunity to deepen this theme by not drawing a stronger parallel between Mark's personal rejection (from Erica) and his vengeful creation of Facemash. Eduardo's hesitation introduces a moral conflict, but it's not explored enough to make it resonate, leaving the ethical implications feeling superficial rather than a pivotal moment in their relationship.
  • In terms of pacing, the scene is concise and fits well within the script's fast-moving structure, but at 45 seconds (based on typical screenplay timing), it might rush through important character beats. Eduardo's concern for Mark is quickly dismissed in favor of the algorithm, which could make their interaction seem one-dimensional and fail to build the emotional investment needed for later conflicts, such as Eduardo's lawsuit. This brevity works for momentum but sacrifices depth, potentially making Mark's character appear unrelatably cold and Eduardo's role less sympathetic.
Suggestions
  • Extend the initial conversation about the breakup to add emotional depth, perhaps by having Eduardo share a personal anecdote or express genuine concern, allowing Mark to show a brief moment of vulnerability before shifting to the algorithm. This would make the transition feel more natural and humanize the characters.
  • Simplify the algorithm explanation in the dialogue to make it more accessible and engaging, such as having Mark and Eduardo discuss it in layman's terms or use metaphors related to their experiences, reducing the expository feel and incorporating humor to lighten the technical load.
  • Enhance visual elements by describing more of the dorm room's disarray—such as scattered energy drink cans, code scribbled on walls, or Mark's disheveled appearance—to emphasize his isolation and obsession, creating a stronger contrast with the social scenes from previous cuts and making the setting more immersive.
  • Amplify the ethical conflict by having Eduardo voice stronger objections or question the morality of rating people more explicitly, perhaps tying it back to Mark's recent argument with Erica to heighten tension and foreshadow future repercussions, thus integrating it better with the script's themes.
  • Incorporate subtle references to the hacking from Scene 4, like Mark glancing at his computer screen or mentioning the photos he's gathered, to maintain continuity and show how this scene builds directly on the previous one, improving the flow and reinforcing the escalating intensity of Mark's actions.



Scene 6 - The Viral Launch of Facemash
INT. FINAL CLUB - NIGHT
The two girls who we just saw get let in are now dancing on a
table in their underwear.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. MARK’S ROOM - NIGHT
MARK makes a few last key strokes and a new website comes up
on the screen.
FACEMASH
MARK makes a few more keystrokes and two pictures of two
Harvard girls come up on the screen.
After a moment...
ALL
The one on the left.
MARK clicks the girl on the left and another picture takes the
place of the girl on the right.
ALL (CONT’D)
On the right.

MARK clicks the girl on the right while another picture takes
the place of the girl on the left.
ALL (CONT’D)
Still the right.
EDUARDO
It works.
DUSTIN
Who should we send it to first?
EDUARDO
Dwyer.
CHRIS
Neal.
EDUARDO
Who are you gonna send it to?
MARK’s made the link to e-mail and hits send.
MARK
Just a couple of people. The question is,
who are they gonna send it to?
CUT TO:
INT. FINAL CLUB - NIGHT
We move to a room where there’s a co-ed poker game underway
with the girls smoking cigars. A bra and a couple of pairs of
stockings are out on the table. As we move through the poker
room, we see a computer behind one of the players. The
computer is indicating that there’s e-mail.
A PLAYER turns around and opens the e-mail as the poker game
and the party go on behind him.
He hits a link and FACEMASH opens. He looks at it, then--
PLAYER
(to another player)
Check this out.
CUT TO:
INT. ANOTHER DORM ROOM - NIGHT
TWO MALE STUDENTS at a laptop.
STUDENT
The one on the left.
CUT TO:

INT. ANOTHER DORM ROOM - NIGHT
THREE MALE STUDENTS AT A COMPUTER
ALL
On the right.
CUT TO:
INT. ALL NIGHT DINER - NIGHT
A bunch of STUDENTS around a computer.
ALL
The right.
CUT TO:
INT. FINAL CLUB - NIGHT
Dozens of partiers are around the computer.
FEMALE STUDENT
That’s my roommate.
CUT TO:
INT. CYBER CAFE - NIGHT
A bunch of students around the computer--
FEMALE STUDENT
This is pathetic.
CUT TO:
INT. ANOTHER DORM ROOM - NIGHT
A FEW STUDENTS gathered at a computer--
ALL
On the left.
CUT TO:
INT. ANOTHER DORM ROOM - NIGHT
Another computer--
ALL
On the right.
CUT TO:

INT. ANOTHER DORM ROOM - NIGHT
This time just a single student in his pajamas as he looks at
two pictures of girls side by side.
CUT TO:
INT. ANOTHER DORM ROOM - NIGHT
And another single student voting and
CUT TO:
INT. DORM ROOM - NIGHT
We should instantly know that this dorm room is different.
It’s more modern and with less character and history than the
others.
In the background a GIRL is at her computer and in the
foreground ERICA is sitting in bed taking notes from a
textbook.
GIRL (ERICA’S ROOMMATE)
Oh shit.
(to the other GIRL)
Albright?
ERICA’S ROOMMATE
He blogged about you.
ERICA looks at her for a moment, then gets up to look at her
roommates computer--
ERICA’S ROOMMATE (CONT’D)
You don’t want to read it.
ERICA ignores her roommate. We see her mortification as she
reads, and at that moment THREE GUYS appear in her open
doorway. They’re baked and smiling and one of them is holding
a bra.
COLLEGE GUY
Erica.
ERICA looks over at the guys--
COLLEGE GUY (CONT’D)
Is this yours? I stole it from a tranny.
ERICA’S ROOMMATE
Get the hell out of here!
The three guys go on their drunken way as we SLOWLY PUSH IN on
ERICA who’s frozen in her humiliation and then
CUT TO:

INT. HARVARD DORM ROOM - NIGHT
STUDENTS
The left!
INT. COFFEE HOUSE - NIGHT
STUDENTS
The right!
INT. DINING HALL - NIGHT
STUDENTS
The left!
INT. GIRLS’ DORM ROOM - NIGHT
STUDENTS
The right!
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a chaotic night at Harvard, Mark Zuckerberg launches the Facemash website, allowing students to vote on pictures of girls, leading to its rapid viral spread across campus. As Mark and his friends celebrate the site's functionality, the scene cuts to various locations where students engage with Facemash, highlighting its invasive nature. Meanwhile, Erica faces humiliation when she discovers a derogatory blog post about her written by Mark, culminating in a moment of personal distress amidst the excitement of the app's popularity. The scene captures the contrast between the energetic atmosphere of college life and the darker implications of objectification and personal fallout.
Strengths
  • Effective use of intercutting to show widespread impact
  • Humorous yet impactful dialogue
  • Strong thematic exploration of technology and social dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potential for reinforcing negative stereotypes
  • Lack of direct consequences for Mark's actions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor and drama, creating an engaging and impactful sequence that sets up significant consequences for the characters involved.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using a website to compare and rate people introduces a compelling conflict that drives the narrative forward, exploring themes of technology, privacy, and social dynamics.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as Facemash spreads rapidly, leading to escalating consequences for the characters involved, setting up future conflicts and character developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the theme of online objectification and privacy invasion, presenting a morally complex situation with authentic character reactions and interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions to Facemash reveal their personalities and values, driving the conflict and showcasing their vulnerabilities and flaws.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant changes as they grapple with the consequences of Facemash, revealing new facets of their personalities and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his intelligence and influence by creating a controversial website. This reflects his desire for recognition, power, and validation in a competitive environment.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to launch the website and generate interest among his peers. This goal reflects his ambition, risk-taking nature, and desire to make an impact.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict escalates rapidly as Facemash spreads, leading to embarrassment, tension, and moral dilemmas for the characters involved.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, moral dilemmas, and uncertain outcomes, creating suspense and complexity in the narrative.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Facemash's impact reverberates through different social circles, affecting reputations, relationships, and personal privacy.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major conflict and setting up future developments, establishing key relationships and tensions.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected consequences of the protagonist's actions, the varied reactions of different characters, and the shifting dynamics in each location.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethics of privacy, objectification, and online behavior. It challenges the protagonist's moral compass, values, and the consequences of his actions on others.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to shock to empathy, as the characters navigate the fallout of Facemash's creation.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the humor, tension, and emotional impact of the scene, capturing the characters' reactions and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its rapid pace, escalating tension, and the moral dilemmas faced by the characters, drawing the audience into the unfolding drama.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected style for the genre, effectively conveying the scene's pacing and visual elements.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a dynamic structure with quick cuts between locations, building suspense and engaging the audience in the unfolding events.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the viral spread of Facemash through rapid cuts and montage-style editing, which mirrors the chaotic energy of social media virality and ties into the film's themes of digital connectivity and unintended consequences. However, this approach can feel overly repetitive and montage-heavy, potentially overwhelming the audience and reducing emotional engagement by prioritizing visual spectacle over character-driven moments. The constant repetition of phrases like 'The one on the left' or 'On the right' during the voting sequences lacks variation and depth, making the dialogue feel formulaic and failing to reveal much about the characters' personalities or relationships, which could make the scene less memorable.
  • The inclusion of Erica's moment of humiliation is a strong emotional anchor that contrasts Mark's triumphant launch with the personal fallout of his actions, reinforcing the film's exploration of social isolation and digital repercussions. Yet, this beat is undercut by its brevity and the abrupt interruption by the drunken college guys, which introduces humor but dilutes the gravity of Erica's reaction. This could alienate viewers who are invested in her character from Scene 1, as the scene doesn't allow enough time for her humiliation to resonate, making it feel like a missed opportunity to deepen the audience's understanding of Mark's interpersonal damage.
  • Visually, the scene uses parallel editing between the dorm room launch and various Harvard locations to build tension and illustrate the theme of exclusivity versus accessibility, echoing the Final Club scenes from previous sequences. However, the cuts are somewhat predictable and lack innovative framing or symbolic elements that could elevate the storytelling; for instance, the dorm room settings are similar across cuts, reducing visual interest and failing to highlight the diversity of Harvard's student body or the broader societal implications of the app's spread.
  • The dialogue and interactions among Mark, Eduardo, Dustin, and Chris during the launch are functional but lack authenticity and subtext. For example, the quick exchange about who to send the link to feels expository rather than natural, and it doesn't capitalize on the characters' established dynamics from earlier scenes (like Eduardo's concern for Mark in Scene 5). This results in a scene that advances the plot but doesn't deepen character relationships, making the group's collaboration seem superficial and less engaging for the audience.
  • Thematically, the scene successfully contrasts Mark's isolated, tech-focused world with the vibrant social scenes (like the Final Club party), underscoring his alienation and the irony of creating a social network while being socially inept. However, this contrast could be more nuanced; the Erica subplot hints at gender dynamics and privacy issues, but these are not fully explored, leading to a scene that feels more like a plot device for virality than a cohesive narrative beat that ties into the film's larger critique of ambition and ethics.
  • Overall, while the scene maintains high energy and momentum, its reliance on rapid cuts and minimal dialogue can make it feel rushed and superficial. It serves as a pivotal turning point in the story, showing the birth of an idea that spirals out of control, but it could benefit from more breathing room to allow key moments, like Erica's humiliation, to land with greater impact, ensuring that the audience connects emotionally rather than just intellectually with the consequences of Mark's actions.
Suggestions
  • Vary the montage sequences by incorporating more diverse reactions and settings, such as showing a mix of enthusiastic, confused, or offended users, to add layers to the virality and make the scene more dynamic and engaging. For example, include a shot of a student laughing hysterically or another looking shocked, to break the repetition and highlight the app's wide-ranging impact.
  • Extend Erica's scene to give her a more substantial reaction, perhaps with a close-up on her face or a brief voice-over of her thoughts, drawing from her established character in Scene 1. This would strengthen the emotional core and provide a clearer link to the film's themes of personal betrayal, while reducing the comedic interruption to maintain dramatic weight.
  • Enhance dialogue during the launch phase by adding character-specific banter or subtext that references previous events, such as Eduardo joking about Mark's blog post or Dustin expressing mild ethical concerns, to make interactions feel more organic and reveal character growth, improving audience investment in their relationships.
  • Incorporate subtle visual motifs or symbols, like mirroring the Final Club's exclusivity in the app's interface or using lighting to contrast the warm, social party scenes with the cold, blue-toned dorm room, to reinforce themes without relying solely on editing, making the scene more cinematically rich and thematically cohesive.
  • Adjust pacing by slowing down key moments, such as the initial launch or Erica's reading of the blog, to build tension and allow emotional beats to resonate, while keeping the viral spread montage concise to avoid viewer fatigue and ensure the scene's energy serves the story rather than overwhelming it.
  • Integrate the scene more tightly with the immediate previous scenes by adding a transitional line or visual callback, like referencing the 'Turing' element from Scene 5, to improve continuity and make the progression from hacking to launch feel more logical and seamless within the overall narrative arc.



Scene 7 - Network Overload
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
As sets of photos go flying by on his computer screen.
MARK is staring at the chaos of activity he’s created in the
middle of the night.
EDUARDO
This is an awful lot of traffic.
(beat)
Think maybe we should shut it down before
we get into trouble.
MARK ignores him as we pre-lap a PHONE RINGING and
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
A man named COX is asleep next to his wife. It’s his phone
that’s RINGING. COX wakes up and answers it--
COX
(into phone)
Hello?
(listens)
Wait, what?
(listens)
At 4 in the morning?
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. HARVARD COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE - SAME TIME
A tired GRAD STUDENT who spends the night monitoring the
campus computer system is looking at his computer.

GRAD STUDENT
(into phone)
Well there’s a very unusual amount of
traffic to the switch at Kirkland.
COX
You’re saying it’s unusual for 4 in the
morning?
GRAD STUDENT
No, this’d be unusual for halftime at the
Super Bowl.
COX
Alright.
COX hangs up the phone.
COX (CONT’D)
I have to go in.
COX’S WIFE
What’s going on?
COX
Harvard’s network’s about to crash.
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
Pictures are flying by on Mark’s computer when suddenly they
freeze.
Then an icon comes up telling him he’s no longer connected to
the internet.
Everyone is frozen silent for a moment...
EDUARDO
You don’t think--
MARK
I do.
EDUARDO
Go see if it’s everybody.
DUSTIN, CHRIS and EDUARDO head out of the room. MARK waits as
the guys start coming back in the room.
CHRIS
Can’t connect.
DUSTIN
The network’s down.

EDUARDO
Unless it’s a coincidence I think this is
us.
MARK
It’s not a coincidence.
EDUARDO
(bad)
Holy shit.
And we stay on MARK a moment before we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In scene 7, Mark is engrossed in his computer as a surge of online activity from his creation causes concern for Eduardo, who suggests shutting it down. Meanwhile, Cox is alerted to the unprecedented network traffic at Harvard and rushes to address the issue. As the scene shifts between the dorm and Cox's home, the network crashes, leading to a tense realization among Mark and his friends that their actions caused the outage. The scene ends with Mark's stunned reaction, highlighting the conflict between ambition and caution.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Effective tension-building
  • Compelling consequences
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel overly dramatic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and sets up significant consequences for the characters, maintaining a high level of engagement and drama.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on the fallout from Mark's controversial website launch and the resulting network crash, is compelling and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is engaging and propels the story forward, introducing high stakes and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh take on the tech-driven narrative, blending suspense with ethical dilemmas. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and propel the plot forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and interactions in the scene effectively convey the escalating tension and emotional turmoil, adding depth to their personalities.

Character Changes: 8

Mark's character undergoes a shift as he faces the consequences of his actions, hinting at potential growth or further conflict in the narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain control and power in the face of escalating challenges. This reflects his need for validation, fear of failure, and desire for recognition.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to prevent the network crash and salvage the situation to avoid consequences. This goal reflects the immediate challenge he faces due to the unexpected traffic surge.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with tensions rising between the characters and the stakes escalating as a result of Mark's actions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, presenting a significant challenge that adds complexity and uncertainty to the protagonist's situation.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the network crash threatening the characters' reputations and relationships, setting the stage for future developments.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly advances the story, introducing new challenges and conflicts that will impact the characters' trajectories.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected turn of events, creating suspense and uncertainty about the characters' fates.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethics of pushing boundaries for success and the consequences of unchecked ambition. It challenges the protagonist's values of innovation versus responsibility.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly tension, anger, and anticipation for the repercussions of the characters' choices.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is confrontational and impactful, revealing the characters' motivations and emotions in a tense situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, high stakes, and suspenseful developments that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, maintaining a rhythm that enhances the scene's impact and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the genre's standards, enhancing readability and clarity in conveying the scene's intensity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and advances the plot, fitting the genre's expectations.


Critique
  • This scene effectively builds on the momentum from Scene 6, where Facemash goes viral, by immediately showing the consequences of Mark's actions, creating a sense of escalating tension and inevitability. It reinforces the film's central themes of ambition, isolation, and the unintended fallout of technological disruption, as Mark's solitary obsession leads to a larger systemic crash, symbolizing how individual actions can ripple outward. The intercutting between Mark's dorm room and the Harvard communications office mirrors the parallel editing in previous scenes, maintaining a rhythmic contrast between Mark's antisocial tech world and the institutional response, which helps underscore his alienation from the broader community.
  • However, the scene feels somewhat formulaic in its execution, relying on familiar tropes of a 'crash' moment to heighten drama without introducing significant new character insights or plot twists. Mark's character is well-established as obsessive and detached, but his lack of reaction beyond ignoring Eduardo could be more nuanced to show internal conflict or growth, making him less of a static figure. Eduardo's concern about shutting down the site is a good opportunity to deepen their friendship dynamic, but it's underdeveloped here, coming across as a generic warning rather than a moment that reveals more about his role as the more cautious counterpart to Mark's recklessness.
  • The dialogue is minimal and functional, which suits the tense atmosphere, but lines like Eduardo's 'Holy shit' feel clichéd and lack the sharp wit seen in earlier scenes, such as Mark's banter in Scene 1. This could be an area to inject more personality or subtext to make the characters' interactions more engaging and less expository. Additionally, the introduction of minor characters like Cox and the grad student serves to externalize the conflict but risks feeling like filler, as they don't add much beyond plot advancement and could be more integrated to heighten stakes or provide thematic commentary.
  • Visually, the scene uses the computer screen and the disconnection icon effectively to convey digital chaos and Mark's isolation, aligning with the film's style of blending tech interfaces with real-world action. However, the intercutting could be tightened to avoid repetition—similar to Scenes 3 and 4—ensuring each cut adds new information or escalates tension rather than just reiterating the traffic surge. The ending, with the group's realization, is a strong beat that ties into the film's exploration of consequences, but it might benefit from a more impactful visual or emotional payoff to make the audience feel the weight of Mark's actions more profoundly.
  • Overall, while the scene advances the plot efficiently and maintains the film's energetic pace, it could delve deeper into character emotions and relationships to avoid feeling like a transitional segment. As part of a larger sequence, it successfully shows the rapid fallout of Mark's innovation, but in isolation, it highlights a potential weakness in the screenplay's handling of secondary characters and dialogue, which sometimes prioritizes plot over depth.
Suggestions
  • Add more subtle character beats for Mark, such as a brief facial expression or internal thought via voice-over, to show his mix of excitement and denial, making his obsession more human and relatable without slowing the pace.
  • Enhance Eduardo's dialogue to include specific references to their shared history or personal stakes, turning his warning into a moment that foreshadows the strain in their friendship and adds emotional layers.
  • Refine the intercutting to include unique visual elements in each location—e.g., close-ups of the grad student's tired eyes or Cox's hurried movements—to make the contrasts more vivid and less repetitive, improving cinematic flow.
  • Incorporate more dynamic sound design, like increasing the intensity of keyboard clacks or adding a low hum for the network strain, to build suspense and immerse the audience in the digital tension.
  • Expand the realization moment at the end with a short exchange among the group that hints at future conflicts, such as Dustin or Chris questioning the ethics, to make the scene more thematically rich and less abrupt in its conclusion.



Scene 8 - Tensions in the Deposition Room
INT. DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
It’s three years later and MARK is sitting with his LAWYERS at
a large conference table. MARK is wearing a hoodie, sweatpants
and Adidas flip-flops--a personal uniform that we’ll come to
understand. And while it may take us a while to notice it,
MARK’s a different person in these flash-forward scenes. Still
tortured and complicated, but comfortable now with his own
power.
His lawyer is SY, who’s accompanied by some junior associates,
one of whom--a pleasant, pretty and professional young
contemporary of Mark’s named MARYLIN, we’ll get to know.
On the other side are EDUARDO and his lawyer, GRETCHEN, also
accompanied by some associates. A STENOGRAPHER is typing the
record.
The room is glass on two sides and through the windows we can
see the behemoths of Silicon Valley--Oracle, SunMicrosystems,
Google, etc.
GRETCHEN is taking MARK’s deposition.
GRETCHEN
So you were called in front of the Ad
Board.
MARK
That’s not what happened.
GRETCHEN
You weren’t called in front of the
Administrative Board?
MARK
No, back, I mean--That’s--back at the bar
with Erica Albright. She said all that?
SY
Mark, I wouldn’t--

MARK
That I said that stuff to her?
GRETCHEN
I was reading from the transcript of her
deposition so--
MARK
Why would you even need to depose her?
GRETCHEN
That’s really for us to--
MARK
You think if I know she can make me look
like a jerk I’ll be more likely--
SY
Mark--
MARK
--to settle?
SY
Why don’t we stretch our legs for a
minute, can we do that? It’s been almost
three hours and frankly you did spend an
awful lot of time embarrassing Mr.
Zuckerberg with the girl’s testimony from
the bar.
MARK
I’m not embarrassed, she just made a lot
of that up.
GRETCHEN
She was under oath.
MARK
Then I guess that would be the first time
somebody’s lied under oath.
People are stretching and getting coffee and talking quietly.
MARK stays in his seat.
MARYLIN, the attractive second year associate who’s on Mark’s
legal team is still sitting too...about four seats down from
Mark.
MARYLIN
The site got twenty-two hundred hits
within two hours?
MARK
(beat)
Thousand.

MARYLIN
What?
MARK
Twenty-two thousand.
MARYLIN
(pause--even)
Wow.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In a deposition room three years after the initial events, Mark Zuckerberg faces aggressive questioning from Gretchen, Eduardo Saverin's lawyer, about his past actions and Erica Albright's testimony. Mark, dressed casually, becomes defensive and sarcastic, leading to a tense exchange. His lawyer, Sy, intervenes to suggest a break to ease the mounting tension. During the break, Mark engages in a brief, factual conversation with his associate Marylin about the early success of his website, correcting her on the number of hits it received. The scene captures the ongoing legal conflict and Mark's combative nature against the backdrop of Silicon Valley.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Legal drama tension
Weaknesses
  • Potential for repetitive confrontations
  • Limited physical action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and conflict between characters, setting up a compelling legal drama with strong emotional undertones.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a legal deposition as a framing device to explore character growth and power dynamics is engaging and well-implemented.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances through conflicting testimonies and reveals character motivations, adding depth to the narrative and setting up future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a familiar legal setting but adds originality through character interactions, conflicting testimonies, and the portrayal of Silicon Valley's influence. The dialogue feels authentic and drives the plot forward with fresh perspectives.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with complex motivations and evolving relationships, driving the conflict and emotional depth of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Character evolution is evident, particularly in Mark's demeanor and power dynamics, setting the stage for further development.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to assert his innocence and maintain his composure despite the accusations and pressure during the deposition. This reflects his need for validation, control, and a desire to protect his reputation.

External Goal: 7.5

Mark's external goal is to navigate the deposition successfully, defend himself against the allegations, and protect his interests in the legal proceedings.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high, driven by conflicting testimonies, power struggles, and emotional confrontations, intensifying the drama and character dynamics.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting testimonies, legal maneuvering, and personal confrontations adding layers of complexity and uncertainty to the deposition process.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high, with legal implications, personal reputations, and power dynamics at play, adding intensity to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing key information, deepening character relationships, and setting up future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 7.5

The scene is unpredictable in terms of character motivations, shifting alliances, and the revelation of conflicting testimonies. The audience is kept on edge regarding the outcome of the deposition.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The scene presents a conflict between truth and perception. Mark challenges the credibility of Erica's testimony, questioning the integrity of sworn statements and the manipulation of facts in legal settings.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response through its tense atmosphere, character revelations, and confrontational dialogue.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and power struggle between characters, adding layers to their interactions and motivations.

Engagement: 8.5

This scene is engaging due to its blend of legal drama, personal conflicts, and character dynamics. The dialogue-driven interactions and unfolding revelations keep the audience invested in the unfolding narrative.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and character development amidst the legal proceedings. The rhythm enhances the scene's emotional impact and narrative progression.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene adheres to expected formatting standards for its genre, with proper scene descriptions, character cues, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and visual clarity.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a structured format typical of legal drama genres, with clear character introductions, dialogue sequences, and shifts in focus to maintain audience engagement.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a contrast between Mark's past and present self, showing his evolution from a socially awkward student to a confident, defensive figure comfortable with his power. This character development is crucial for understanding the thematic arc of isolation and ambition, as Mark's casual attire and demeanor in the deposition room mirror his earlier scenes but with a newfound authority, helping the audience grasp how success has both empowered and isolated him.
  • However, the dialogue feels somewhat repetitive and on-the-nose, particularly when Mark deflects questions about the Ad Board by fixating on Erica's testimony. This mirrors the opening scene but risks feeling redundant so early in the deposition sequence, potentially undermining tension if the audience has already been exposed to those events. It could benefit from more subtle or layered exchanges that reveal character without directly rehashing past conflicts, making Mark's defensiveness feel fresher and less predictable.
  • The scene's visual elements are underutilized, relying heavily on static dialogue in a confined space, which contrasts sharply with the dynamic, intercut sequences of earlier scenes (like the hacking and party montages). While the glass-walled room offers a view of Silicon Valley giants, this potential for visual symbolism—representing Mark's rise in the tech world—is not fully exploited, leading to a somewhat flat presentation that might fail to engage viewers accustomed to the film's energetic pacing.
  • Pacing-wise, the transition to the break and the brief interaction with Marylin feels abrupt and underdeveloped. This moment introduces Marylin as a character but doesn't advance the plot significantly, coming across as a filler that interrupts the building tension of the deposition. It could be more purposeful, perhaps by using it to foreshadow future events or deepen Mark's emotional state, ensuring every element contributes to the overall narrative momentum.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the film's exploration of social and legal consequences, with Mark's evasiveness highlighting the personal cost of his actions. However, it lacks emotional depth in depicting the ongoing fallout from Facemash and the lawsuits, as Mark's denial of embarrassment feels too glib. This could be enhanced by showing more internal conflict or physical cues, making the critique more nuanced and helping viewers connect with the human elements beneath the legal drama.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more visual dynamism by using the Silicon Valley backdrop more actively—e.g., have Mark glance out the window at passing tech shuttles or rival company signs—to symbolize his ambition and the high-stakes environment, making the scene less dialogue-heavy and more cinematic.
  • Refine the dialogue to add layers of subtlety; for instance, have Mark's deflections be more indirect or laced with sarcasm that reveals his insecurity, avoiding repetition of earlier scenes and making his character more complex and engaging for the audience.
  • Expand the interaction with Marylin during the break to serve a narrative purpose, such as her subtly probing Mark about his regrets or the site's success, which could provide exposition, build empathy, or foreshadow the settlement discussions, ensuring it feels integral rather than extraneous.
  • Adjust the pacing by adding micro-tensions, like close-ups of the stenographer's typing or Mark's fidgeting, to maintain energy and prevent the scene from dragging; this would align it better with the film's overall rhythm and keep viewers invested in the legal confrontations.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by including a brief, non-verbal flashback or a symbolic cutaway during Mark's denial (e.g., a quick shot of Erica from the opening), reinforcing motifs of regret and digital permanence without over-explaining, and deepening the emotional resonance for both the writer and the audience.



Scene 9 - Rowing Ahead and Legal Battles
EXT. CHARLES RIVER - DAWN
The Harvard Crew is practicing on two-man sculls. There are
three boats that are running roughly even with each other and
the two-man crews are rowing with all they’ve got. We’re
gliding along with them in the water--
A CREW MEMBER
Those guys are just freakin’ fast.
And we PULL BACK TO REVEAL that there’s a fourth boat which is
already five boat lengths ahead of the other three.
The fourth boat is being crewed by CAMERON and TYLER
WINKLEVOSS--identical twins who stepped out of an ad for
Abercrombie & Fitch.
They know that the others aren’t in their class and even
though they’re highly competitive athletes, they don’t like
showing anyone up, least of all their teammates.
CAMERON
Is there anyway to make this a fair
fight?
TYLER
We could jump out and swim.
CAMERON
I think we’d have to jump out and drown.
TYLER
Or you could row forward and I could row
backward.
CAMERON
We’re genetically identical, science says
we’d stay in one place.
TYLER
Row the damn boat.

And the WINKLEVOSS twins kick into full gear and open up an
even wider lead as we
CUT TO:
INT. PFORZHEIMER DINING HALL - MORNING
The room’s a couple of hundred years old and magnificent.
Long, heavy mahogany tables are dotted with club members
having breakfast. A PORTER in a white jacket is setting copies
of The Crimson, Harvard’s student newspaper, at the table
occupied by CAMERON and TYLER whose trays are loaded with
mountains of eggs and pancakes and carbs.
DIVYA NARENDRA, a nice looking Indian student, sits down next
to them holding a copy of the Crimson.
CAMERON
What’s up?
DIVYA
You guys hear about this?
CAMERON
What?
DIVYA
Two nights ago a sophomore choked the
network from a laptop at Kirkland.
CAMERON
Really?
DIVYA
At 4AM.
TYLER picks up a copy of the Crimson and begins reading while
his brother and DIVYA keep talking.
CAMERON
How?
DIVYA
He set up a website where you vote on the
hotness of female undergrads. What were
we doing that none of us heard about
this?
CAMERON
I don’t know, a three hour low-rate
technical row before breakfast, a full
course load, studying, another three
hours in the tank and then studying. I
don’t know how we missed it. How much
activity was there on this thing that he--

TYLER
(reading)
22,000 page requests.
CAMERON
22,000?!
TYLER
Cam, this guy hacked the into facebooks
of seven houses. He set up the whole
website in one night and he did it while
he was drunk.
CAMERON
22,000.
TYLER
Yeah.
CAMERON
How do you know he was drunk?
DIVYA
He was blogging simultaneously. You know
what I think?
TYLER
I’m way ahead of you.
DIVYA
This is our guy.
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
It’s MARK and his LAWYERS again but this time on the other
side of the table are TYLER and CAMERON, DIVYA and their
lawyer, GAGE, whose family had first-class seats on the
Mayflower.
We’ll be back and forth between the two deposition rooms a
lot.
CAMERON
(for the record)
Cameron Winklevoss. W-I-N-K-L-E-V-O-S-S.
Cameron’s spelled the usual way.
TYLER
(for the record)
Tyler Winklevoss. Tyler’s spelled the
usual way and my last name is the same as
my brother's.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Technological"]

Summary In Scene 9, the Winklevoss twins, Cameron and Tyler, excel in a rowing practice on the Charles River, playfully discussing their genetic advantages. Later, at the Pforzheimer Dining Hall, they learn from Divya Narendra about a sophomore who created a popular website by hacking into the network, sparking their interest in potential collaboration. The scene shifts to a deposition room where the twins formally state their names, indicating a transition to a legal confrontation.
Strengths
  • Effective juxtaposition of physical and digital competition
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Compelling dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of emotional depth
  • Lack of significant character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively introduces a key conflict and sets up the technological innovation that will drive the plot forward. It balances character dynamics and thematic elements well.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of juxtaposing physical competition with technological innovation is compelling and sets the stage for the overarching themes of ambition, rivalry, and the impact of digital disruption.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly with the introduction of the Facemash website and the potential conflict arising from its creation. The scene sets up key storylines and character motivations.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the competitive sports genre by intertwining themes of technology, ethics, and personal ambition. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of the Winklevoss twins and Mark Zuckerberg are distinct and engaging, showcasing their contrasting personalities and motivations effectively.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the introduction of the Facemash website hints at the transformative impact it will have on the characters' trajectories.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain their competitive edge while also balancing a sense of fairness and camaraderie with their teammates. This reflects their deeper need for validation through success and their fear of being perceived as arrogant or unsportsmanlike.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the challenges posed by a talented hacker and potentially leverage this situation to their advantage in some way, possibly to enhance their own reputation or achieve a personal goal.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the physical prowess of the Winklevoss twins and the technological ingenuity of Mark Zuckerberg creates a compelling tension that drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the hacker subplot posing a significant challenge to the protagonists and adding a layer of complexity to their goals. The uncertainty surrounding the hacker's identity creates suspense and intrigue.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the discovery of the Facemash website threatens to disrupt the social dynamics at Harvard and potentially lead to legal repercussions for Mark Zuckerberg.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a key technological development and highlighting the escalating tensions between characters. It sets the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the hacker subplot and the evolving dynamics between the characters. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8.5

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethical implications of using technology and intellect for personal gain or competitive advantage. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about fairness, integrity, and the boundaries of achievement.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from surprise to intrigue, as the characters' actions and discoveries unfold. The emotional impact sets the stage for future developments.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and revealing, providing insight into the characters' mindsets and setting up future conflicts. It effectively conveys the competitive nature of the Winklevoss twins and the disruptive actions of Mark Zuckerberg.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, competitive tension, and intriguing plot developments. The dynamic interactions between characters and the unfolding mystery of the hacker's identity keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balanced rhythm that builds tension, delivers key information, and maintains audience interest. The scene flows smoothly between locations and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for the genre, with clear scene descriptions, character cues, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and visual clarity.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a well-defined structure that effectively transitions between locations and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the Winklevoss twins as physically superior and socially elite characters, contrasting their world with Mark Zuckerberg's digital innovations, which ties into the film's broader themes of competition and exclusivity. However, the rowing sequence feels somewhat stereotypical, with dialogue that overly emphasizes their genetic advantages in a way that lacks subtlety, potentially reducing the twins to caricatures rather than fully fleshed-out antagonists. This could alienate viewers who might find the banter predictable and fail to build emotional investment early on.
  • The transition from the rowing practice to the dining hall conversation is smooth in terms of pacing, using the dawn setting to morning to maintain a natural flow, but the abrupt cut to the deposition room at the end disrupts the scene's momentum. This shift feels disjointed, as it jumps forward in time and location without sufficient bridging elements, which might confuse the audience or make the deposition segment seem like an afterthought rather than an integral part of the scene. It highlights the legal conflict but doesn't fully integrate it with the preceding action, weakening the overall cohesion.
  • Character development is introduced well through the twins' banter and their reaction to the Facemash story, showing their arrogance and obliviousness to the digital world, which foreshadows their conflict with Mark. However, Divya Narendra's role is somewhat underdeveloped; his line suggesting Mark is 'their guy' advances the plot but doesn't reveal much about his motivations or personality, making him feel like a plot device rather than a character with agency. Additionally, the twins' surprise at missing the Facemash news could be explored more deeply to show internal conflict or vulnerability, enhancing their arc as antagonists.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the film's exploration of social hierarchies and the clash between traditional elitism (represented by the twins' athletic and club life) and emerging tech innovation (Mark's Facemash). However, this is somewhat undermined by the expository dialogue in the dining hall, which delivers key information about Mark's actions in a way that feels forced and tell-don't-show. The visual elements, like the rowing and the newspaper, are strong in illustrating themes, but the dialogue could be more nuanced to allow the audience to infer rather than be told about the stakes.
  • Overall, as an early scene in the screenplay, it successfully introduces the antagonists and escalates the central conflict by connecting the twins to Mark's actions, but it relies too heavily on exposition and lacks emotional depth. The deposition room ending sets up future legal tension but feels tacked on, reducing the scene's impact. With better integration of character moments and subtler dialogue, it could more effectively build suspense and viewer engagement, helping to balance the film's fast-paced narrative with character-driven storytelling.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue in the rowing scene to be less on-the-nose about the twins' genetic advantages; incorporate more subtext or humor that reveals their relationship dynamics through actions or understated comments, making them more relatable and less archetypal.
  • Improve transitions by adding a visual or auditory motif, such as the sound of rowing oars echoing into the dining hall clatter or a newspaper headline visually linking to the deposition room, to create a smoother flow and maintain thematic continuity throughout the scene cuts.
  • Develop Divya's character further by giving him a personal stake in the conversation, such as expressing his own frustrations or ambitions, to make him more than just a messenger and enhance the group's dynamic, which would add depth and make the scene more engaging.
  • Adjust pacing by extending the dining hall discussion with reactive beats, like close-ups of the twins' expressions when learning about Facemash, to allow moments for the audience to absorb the information and build tension, preventing the scene from feeling rushed.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling to reduce exposition; for example, show the twins' busy schedule through quick cuts or background details in the dining hall, and use the deposition room cut to mirror their rowing competitiveness, reinforcing themes without relying on dialogue-heavy explanations.



Scene 10 - The Hearing and Its Consequences
INT. ADMINISTRATIVE HEARING ROOM - DAY
MARK stands before a panel of ADMINISTRATORS as well as COX,
the systems manager who was woken up in the opening sequence.
ADMINISTRATOR
Mr. Zuckerberg, this is an Administrative
Board hearing. You’re being accused of
intentionally breaching security,
violating copyrights, violating
individual privacy by creating the
website, WWW.FACEMASH.COM. You’re also
charged with being in violation of
university policy on distribution of
digitized images. Before we begin with
our questioning you’re allowed to make a
statement. Would you like to do so?
MARK
(beat)
Uh...I’ve, you know--
MARK stands to address the Board.
MARK (CONT’D)
I’ve already apologized in the Crimson to
the ABHW, to Fuerza Latina and to any
women at Harvard who might have been
insulted as I take it that they were. As
for any charges stemming from the breach
of security, I believe I deserve some
recognition from this Board.
MARK takes his seat.
ADMINISTRATOR
(pause)
I’m sorry?
MARK
Yes.
ADMINISTRATOR
I don’t understand.
MARK
Which part?
ADMINISTRATOR
You deserve recognition?
MARK
I believe I pointed out some pretty
gaping holes in your system.
COX
Excuse me, may I?

ADMINISTRATOR
Yes.
COX
Mr. Zuckerberg, I’m in charge of security
for all computers on the Harvard network
and I can assure you of its
sophistication. In fact it was that level
of sophistication that led us to you in
less than four hours.
MARK
Four hours?
COX
Yes sir.
MARK
That would be impressive except if you’d
known what you were looking for you would
have seen it written on my dorm room
window.
CUT TO:
INT. CORRIDOR - DAY
As the heavy wooden door from the hearing slams shut behind
MARK. EDUARDO is waiting for him.
EDUARDO
So?
MARK
Six months academic probation.
They walk out onto--
EXT. QUAD - CONTINUOUS
EDUARDO
Wow, they had to make an example out of
you.
MARK
(pause)
They had my blog. I shouldn’t have
written the thing about the farm animals.
That was stupid. I was kidding for God’s
sake, doesn’t anybody have a sense of--
EDUARDO
I tried to stop you.
MARK
I know.

EDUARDO
How do you do this thing where you manage
to get all girls to hate us? Why did I
let you--
MARK
I know.
EDUARDO
You can’t do that.
MARK
Wardo. I said I know.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Technology"]

Summary In this scene, Mark Zuckerberg faces an administrative hearing at Harvard, where he is accused of breaching security and violating privacy through his website Facemash. He apologizes to affected groups but also claims credit for exposing flaws in the university's security. A tense exchange occurs with Cox, the systems manager, about the security breach. After the hearing, Mark learns he has received six months of academic probation, leading to a reflective conversation with his friend Eduardo Saverin about the repercussions of Mark's reckless actions and their impact on their social lives.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Sharp dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Reliance on dialogue for tension buildup

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and conflict between Mark and the authorities, providing insight into Mark's character and the repercussions of his actions. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, driving the narrative forward.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around accountability, consequences, and the clash between individual actions and institutional policies. It effectively explores themes of responsibility and defiance.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as Mark faces the consequences of his actions, setting the stage for further developments in the narrative. The conflict escalates, adding depth to the storyline.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on the theme of technology, privacy, and academic integrity within a university setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, offering a unique perspective on the consequences of innovation.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Mark, are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their motivations, flaws, and dynamics. The interactions reveal layers of complexity and drive the emotional intensity.

Character Changes: 8

Mark undergoes a subtle but significant change as he faces the repercussions of his behavior and confronts the authorities. His defiance and vulnerability are highlighted, hinting at potential growth or further conflicts.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to defend his actions and seek recognition for his perceived contribution, showcasing his intelligence and skills. This reflects his desire for validation, acknowledgment, and a sense of superiority.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the administrative hearing and mitigate the consequences of his actions, specifically the charges brought against him. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of defending himself against serious accusations and maintaining his reputation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving personal, ethical, and institutional dimensions. It drives the narrative forward and heightens the emotional stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing accusations and challenges from the administrators and the systems manager, creating a sense of uncertainty and conflict that drives the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Mark faces potential disciplinary action and scrutiny for his actions, impacting his reputation, relationships, and future prospects. The outcome of the hearing could have significant consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing key conflicts, consequences, and character dynamics. It sets the stage for future developments and adds depth to the narrative arc.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable in the protagonist's unexpected responses and the shifting power dynamics during the hearing, keeping the audience on edge about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's belief in his own abilities and the authority's perspective on his actions. It challenges his values of innovation and recognition against the established rules and consequences.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions, including tension, defiance, and resentment, as the characters navigate the consequences of their actions. It resonates with the audience and deepens the character dynamics.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the characters' conflicting perspectives and building tension. It drives the scene forward and reveals key insights into the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the dynamic dialogue exchanges, the high stakes of the hearing, and the protagonist's bold responses that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and maintains a brisk rhythm, enhancing the impact of the dialogue exchanges and the unfolding drama.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, clearly delineating dialogue, character actions, and scene transitions for easy readability and visualization.

Structure: 8.5

The scene follows a structured format suitable for a dialogue-driven sequence in a legal setting. It effectively builds tension and progresses the narrative through the characters' interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the consequences of Mark's actions from the previous scenes, particularly the launch of Facemash, by showing a formal administrative hearing that highlights themes of accountability and hubris. Mark's dual nature—apologetic yet boastful—reinforces his character as a brilliant but socially inept innovator, which is consistent with earlier portrayals. However, this duality might come across as overly simplistic; the apology feels insincere and quickly overshadowed by his self-aggrandizement, which could alienate viewers if not balanced with more nuanced emotional depth. The exchange with Cox adds tension by contrasting Mark's sarcasm with the administrator's confusion, underscoring the generational and cultural clash between traditional authority and tech-savvy rebellion, but it risks feeling contrived if the sarcasm is too heavy-handed, potentially making Mark less sympathetic early in the film.
  • Dialogue in this scene is sharp and revealing, with Mark's lines effectively conveying his defensiveness and intelligence, such as when he points out the security flaws. This helps the audience understand his mindset and advances the plot by showing the repercussions of his earlier decisions. However, the banter between Mark and Eduardo in the quad feels somewhat rushed and could benefit from more subtext to explore their friendship dynamics. Eduardo's frustration about social repercussions is a good touch, tying back to the breakup with Erica and the viral spread of Facemash, but it lacks depth, making his character seem more reactive than proactive at this stage. Overall, the dialogue serves the theme of isolation versus ambition well, but it could be tightened to avoid exposition that feels too direct, allowing for more natural flow and emotional resonance.
  • Pacing is generally strong, with a clear structure: the formal hearing builds tension, followed by a release in the corridor and quad discussion. The cut from the hearing to Eduardo waiting outside is a smooth transition that maintains momentum, emphasizing Mark's isolation even in consequences. However, the scene might feel static due to its heavy reliance on dialogue in a confined space, which could disengage viewers accustomed to more visual storytelling. The thematic elements, like the cost of innovation and social fallout, are well-integrated, but the scene could better connect to the broader narrative by hinting at future conflicts, such as the Winklevoss twins' involvement or the evolution of Facebook, to build anticipation. Additionally, the visual elements are minimal, with the hearing room described but not fully utilized for cinematic impact, such as close-ups on facial expressions or symbolic details that could heighten the drama.
  • Emotionally, the scene succeeds in showing Mark's regret mixed with defiance, creating a complex character moment that humanizes him despite his flaws. Eduardo's concern adds a layer of interpersonal conflict, illustrating how Mark's actions affect those around him, which is crucial for audience empathy. However, the scene could delve deeper into the psychological toll, perhaps by showing more of Mark's internal struggle through subtle actions or expressions, rather than relying solely on dialogue. The ending, with Mark acknowledging his mistake about the blog post, feels like a missed opportunity for growth; it could be more impactful if it tied back to Erica's humiliation from Scene 6, reinforcing the theme of digital permanence and its personal costs. Overall, while the scene advances the plot and character development, it might not fully capitalize on the high stakes introduced in prior scenes, such as the network crash in Scene 7, to create a more explosive confrontation.
  • In terms of overall effectiveness, this scene is a solid transitional piece that bridges the chaotic energy of Facemash's launch to the more structured conflicts ahead, like the legal battles. It highlights key themes of the script—innovation, ethics, and social isolation—but could be strengthened by ensuring it doesn't feel isolated from the larger story. For instance, referencing the viral spread or Erica's reaction more explicitly could make it feel more connected. The critique also notes that the scene's length and content might benefit from condensation to maintain pacing in a 60-scene script, ensuring it doesn't slow down the narrative flow. Finally, as a teaching point, this scene demonstrates how screenwriters use hearings to expose character flaws and advance plot, but it could improve by incorporating more visual metaphors, like the 'gaping holes' in security being symbolized visually, to engage viewers beyond dialogue.
Suggestions
  • Add more visual elements to the hearing room to make it more dynamic, such as close-up shots of the administrators' reactions or symbolic imagery (e.g., a cracked window representing security flaws) to break up the dialogue and enhance cinematic appeal.
  • Deepen Eduardo's dialogue in the quad scene to show his internal conflict more clearly, perhaps by having him reference specific moments from their friendship or the Facemash fallout, making his frustration feel more personal and less generic.
  • Refine Mark's apology to include a brief moment of genuine vulnerability, such as a pause or a subtle physical tic, to add layers to his character and make his arrogance more forgivable or intriguing to the audience.
  • Incorporate a subtle callback to previous scenes, like a quick cut or mention of the network crash or Erica's humiliation, to strengthen narrative continuity and remind viewers of the escalating consequences.
  • Shorten the hearing exchange to focus on the most impactful lines, ensuring the scene maintains a brisk pace, and consider adding a post-hearing visual beat, like Mark staring at his laptop, to foreshadow his ongoing obsession and tie into future events.



Scene 11 - Confrontation and Opportunity
INT. LECTURE HALL - DAY
MARK is in his Operating Systems class. This is considered the
hardest class at Harvard and MARK is one of the 50 students
with their laptops open as the professor takes them through an
impossibly difficult lesson.
PROFESSOR
Okay, let’s look at a sample problem:
Suppose we’re given a computer with a 16-
bit virtual address and a page size of
256 bytes.
A GIRL scribbles something on a piece of paper. Then hands it
to the student next to her and nods that it should be passed
over to MARK. While that’s happening--
PROFESSOR (CONT’D)
The system uses one-level page tables,
that start at address 0x0400. Maybe you
want to have DMA on your 16-bit system,
who knows? The first few pages are
reserved for hardware flags, etc.
MARK opens the note. It reads “U dick”.
He looks over and sees a couple of GIRLS looking at him with
contempt.
PROFESSOR (CONT’D)
Assume page table entries have eight
status bits.
MARK closes his laptop, gets up and starts to head out of the
hall.
PROFESSOR (CONT’D)
The eight status bits would be--
(re: MARK)
And I see we have our first surrender.
(MORE)

PROFESSOR (CONT’D)
Don’t worry, Mr. Zuckerberg, brighter men
than you have tried and failed at this
class.
MARK
(calling back)
1 valid bit, 1 modify bit, 1 reference
bit and 5 permission bits.
PROFESSOR
That is correct. Does everybody see how
he got there?
MARK walks out of the lecture hall and we
CUT TO:
EXT. ACADEMIC BUILDING - DAY
As MARK comes out and heads onto the quad--
CAMERON (OS)
(calling)
Mark?
CAMERON and TYLER have been waiting by the entrance.
CAMERON (CONT’D)
Are you Mark Zuckerberg?
MARK
Yeah.
CAMERON
Cameron Winklevoss.
MARK
Hi.
TYLER
Tyler Winklevoss.
MARK
(pause)
You guys related?
CAMERON
That’s good.
TYLER
That’s funny.
CAMERON
We’ve never heard that before.

MARK
What can I do for you? Did I insult your
girlfriends?
CAMERON
No, you didn’t insult our girl--
(to TYLER)
Actually, I don’t know.
TYLER
(to CAMERON)
We never asked.
CAMERON
We should do that. No, we have an idea we
want to talk to you about. Do you have a
minute?
MARK
(pause)
You guys look like you spend some time at
the gym.
CAMERON
We have to.
MARK
Why?
TYLER
We row crew.
MARK
(pause--then smiles a little)
Yeah, I’ve got a minute.
CAMERON
Great.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Academic"]

Summary In this scene, Mark Zuckerberg endures social hostility during a challenging Operating Systems class at Harvard, where a female student passes him an insulting note. Despite the contempt from his peers and a sarcastic remark from the professor, Mark confidently answers a technical question, impressing the professor. After class, he encounters the Winklevoss twins, who invite him to discuss a potential idea, leading to a humorous exchange before Mark agrees to meet with them.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Character development for Mark
Weaknesses
  • Limited interaction with other characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene effectively captures the tension and conflict between the characters, providing insight into Mark's character and setting up potential future developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of academic confrontation and intellectual superiority is effectively portrayed, setting up a key aspect of Mark's character.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by showing Mark's response to academic challenges, hinting at potential conflicts and character development.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the academic setting by blending technical jargon with personal dynamics and social confrontations. The authenticity of the characters' reactions adds depth and originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with Mark's defiance and intelligence shining through in the face of academic pressure.

Character Changes: 7

Mark's character is further established through his response to the academic challenge, hinting at potential growth or conflicts.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his composure and dignity in the face of humiliation and contempt from his peers. It reflects his need for acceptance, respect, and validation.

External Goal: 7

Mark's external goal is to handle the unexpected encounter with Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss with grace and curiosity. It reflects his ability to navigate social interactions and potential opportunities.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Mark and the professor adds intensity to the scene, showcasing Mark's resilience and intelligence.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with Mark facing social challenges and unexpected encounters that create tension and uncertainty. The audience is left wondering about the outcomes of these interactions.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes involve Mark's academic reputation and intellectual prowess, adding depth to the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting Mark's academic struggles and setting up potential conflicts or developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected note, Mark's reaction, and the sudden encounter with Cameron and Tyler. The audience is left unsure of how the interactions will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of intelligence, social status, and resilience. Mark's response to the note and his interaction with Cameron and Tyler highlight the clash of intellect, social dynamics, and personal pride.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of tension and defiance, resonating with the audience through the character dynamics.

Dialogue: 8.2

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and confrontation in the scene, adding depth to the character interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines elements of suspense, humor, and character development. The unexpected interactions and Mark's response keep the audience intrigued.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and curiosity, transitioning smoothly between the classroom and the outdoor encounter. The rhythm enhances the impact of key moments.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, clearly delineating the different locations and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively transitions between the classroom setting and the encounter with Cameron and Tyler. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • This scene effectively highlights Mark Zuckerberg's intellectual superiority and social isolation, key traits established in earlier scenes, by showing him correctly answering a complex question on his way out of class, which reinforces his genius IQ theme from Scene 1. However, the execution feels somewhat rushed and lacks depth in portraying Mark's emotional state; after the administrative hearing in Scene 10, where he faces consequences for his actions, this scene could better depict his internal turmoil or defensiveness, making his sarcasm towards the Winklevoss twins more nuanced and tied to his recent probation, rather than coming across as flippant banter.
  • The dialogue is functional in advancing the plot and introducing the Winklevoss twins, but it borders on cliché, especially in the exchange about their appearance and relation, which echoes stereotypical twin humor seen in other media. This diminishes the originality and could alienate viewers familiar with such tropes; additionally, the note 'U dick' is direct and blunt, potentially underutilizing the opportunity for subtler character development, such as showing the social repercussions of Facemash through more layered interactions that build on the contempt from women in previous scenes.
  • Pacing is brisk, which suits the scene's role as a transitional moment leading to the Winklevoss pitch, but it sacrifices potential for stronger visual and emotional beats. For instance, the cut from the lecture hall to the exterior is smooth, but the scene could benefit from more descriptive action or reaction shots to emphasize themes of exclusion and ambition, such as lingering on the girls' contemptuous stares or Mark's body language to convey his growing anger or isolation, making the audience feel the weight of his social fallout more acutely.
  • Thematically, the scene connects well to the overarching narrative of social dynamics and exclusivity (e.g., final clubs, Facemash), with Mark's class exit symbolizing his rejection of traditional academic and social norms. However, it could strengthen this by drawing parallels to earlier moments, like the bar scene in Scene 1 or the hearing in Scene 10, to show progression in Mark's character arc; currently, the scene feels somewhat isolated, and the Winklevoss introduction could be more impactful if it highlighted contrasts between their privileged, physical world and Mark's digital one.
  • Overall, while the scene successfully sets up the conflict with the Winklevoss twins and maintains the film's fast-paced style, it underdevelops the emotional stakes. Mark's confident departure and correct answer are empowering, but without more insight into his motivations or the cost of his actions, it risks portraying him as a one-dimensional anti-hero, potentially reducing audience empathy and missing a chance to explore the human side of his genius in a story about ambition and its consequences.
Suggestions
  • Add subtle internal or visual cues to Mark's emotional state, such as a brief flashback to the administrative hearing or a close-up of his face showing hesitation before he answers the professor, to better connect this scene to the previous one and deepen the portrayal of his character development.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it less stereotypical; for example, instead of the twins simply acknowledging the 'are you related' joke, have them respond in a way that reveals their personalities or stakes, like tying it to their rowing background or hinting at their frustration with social perceptions, to make the interaction more engaging and original.
  • Incorporate more sensory details and visual storytelling to enhance immersion; describe the lecture hall's atmosphere with sounds of typing, the professor's tone, or the girls' body language, and use the quad setting to contrast Mark's isolation with the lively campus, perhaps by showing students interacting happily in the background, to underscore themes of social exclusion.
  • Extend the scene slightly to build tension in the Winklevoss encounter; for instance, have Mark pause longer before agreeing to talk, or add a line where he questions their intentions, to create foreshadowing and make the setup for the HarvardConnection pitch more suspenseful and integral to the plot.
  • Focus on thematic reinforcement by linking Mark's class experience to broader motifs, such as adding a small detail that echoes his obsession with exclusivity (e.g., referencing final clubs in his thoughts), to ensure the scene contributes more cohesively to the film's exploration of social hierarchies and digital innovation.



Scene 12 - The Pitch at the Porcellian Club
EXT. PORCELLIAN CLUB - DAY
As MARK is escorted by CAMERON and TYLER toward the club.
TYLER
You ever been inside the Porcellian?
MARK
No.
TYLER
You understand we can’t take you past the
bike room ‘cause you’re not a member.
MARK
I’ve heard.

INT. PORCELLIAN CLUB - DAY
The most exclusive of all the final clubs. DIVYA is sitting in
the main living room with a textbook open as the heavy wooden
door opens and the three of them come into the bike room.
CAMERON
Would you like a sandwich or something?
MARK
Okay.
CAMERON disappears for a moment.
DIVYA
Mark, right?
MARK is stealing a glance around the room.
MARK
Yeah.
TYLER
This is Divya Narendra, our partner.
MARK
Hi.
DIVYA
We were really impressed with Facemash
and then we checked you out and you also
built CourseMatch.
TYLER
I don’t know CourseMatch.
DIVYA
You go online and see what courses your
friends are taking.
(to MARK)
Really smart, man.
MARK is looking at the framed black and white group pictures
on the wall of old Porcellian classes. He sees a bra hanging
over a lamp.
DIVYA (CONT’D)
Mark?
MARK
Yeah.
DIVYA
We were talking about CourseMatch.
MARK
It was kind of a no-brainer.

CAMERON comes back in with a sandwich wrapped in cellophane.
MARK opens it on his lap and eats it uncomfortably.
DIVYA
And you invented something in high
school, right?
MARK
An app for an MP3 player that recognizes
your taste in music.
DIVYA
Anybody try to buy it?
MARK
Microsoft.
DIVYA
How much?
MARK
I didn’t sell it. I uploaded it for free.
DIVYA
For free?
MARK
Yeah.
DIVYA
Why?
MARK gives a short shrug that says both “I don’t know” and
“Fuck you” at the same time.
CAMERON
Okay, well. We have something that we’ve
been working on for a while, we think
it’s great. It’s called the
HarvardConnection. You create your own
page. Interests, bio, friends, pics.
TYLER
And then people can go online, see your
bio and request to be your--
MARK
Yeah. How’s it different from MySpace or
Friendster?
TYLER
Harvard-dot-E-D-U.
CAMERON
Harvard.edu. The most prestigious e-mail
address in the country.

TYLER
And the whole site’s kinda based on the
idea that girls--well...
CAMERON
Not to put anything indelicately.
DIVYA
Girls wanna get with guys who go to
Harvard.
CAMERON
Divya and my brother don’t have trouble
putting things indelicately.
TYLER
The difference between what we’re talking
about and MySpace or Friendster or any of
those other social networking site--
MARK
--is exclusivity.
(beat)
Right?
DIVYA
Right.
TYLER
(beat)
Yes.
CAMERON
We’d love fort you to work with us, Mark.
I mean, we need a gifted programmer who’s
creative.
TYLER
And we know you’ve taking it in the
shins.
DIVYA
The women’s groups are ready to declare a
Fatwa and this could help rehabilitate
your image.
MARK
(remembering what Erica said)
Wow. You’d do that for me?
DIVYA
We’d like to work with you.
CAMERON
Our first programmer graduated and went
to work at Google. Our second programmer
just got overwhelmed with school work.
(MORE)

CAMERON (CONT'D)
We would need you to build the site and
write the code and we’ll provide--
MARK
I’m in.
CAMERON
--the money. What?
MARK
I’m in.
TYLER
Awesome.
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
The WINKLEVOSSES and DIVYA with GAGE.
GAGE
That’s what you said?
MARK
It was three or four years ago, I don’t
know what I said.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary In this scene, Mark Zuckerberg is taken to the Porcellian Club by Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, where they introduce him to Divya Narendra. The Winklevoss twins pitch their idea for HarvardConnection, a social networking site for Harvard students, emphasizing its exclusivity. Mark, feeling uncomfortable but intrigued, agrees to collaborate with them, seeing it as a chance to improve his image after Facemash. The scene transitions to a deposition years later, where Mark is questioned about the meeting, but he claims not to remember the details.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Establishing tension and ambition
  • Setting up a pivotal collaboration
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively introduces a high-stakes environment, establishes character dynamics, and sets up a significant plot development. The tension and ambition portrayed add depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exclusivity, ambition, and collaboration is effectively introduced and developed. The scene sets the stage for future conflicts and character growth.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses significantly with the introduction of the HarvardConnection project and the collaboration between characters. The scene moves the story forward and raises the stakes.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on ambition, social dynamics, and moral choices within an elite setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and layered, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character dynamics are well-established, showcasing their motivations, conflicts, and ambitions. The scene sets up potential character arcs and growth.

Character Changes: 8

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the introduction of the HarvardConnection project sets the stage for potential character growth and transformations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to prove his worth and talent to gain acceptance and recognition from the elite group. This reflects his desire for validation, respect, and a sense of belonging in a world he's not familiar with.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to secure a programming opportunity with the group, which could help him regain his reputation and image. It reflects his immediate need for a chance to showcase his skills and redeem himself.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The scene is filled with underlying tensions, confrontations, and ambitions, increasing the conflict level. The introduction of the HarvardConnection project adds a layer of internal and external conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, presenting challenges, conflicting interests, and moral dilemmas that create uncertainty and tension for the protagonist, keeping the audience intrigued about the outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters embark on a new project with the potential to rehabilitate reputations and change social standings. The exclusivity and ambition add weight to the outcomes.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a key project, establishing character motivations, and setting up future conflicts. It propels the narrative towards new developments.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable as it presents unexpected character revelations, conflicting motivations, and moral ambiguities that keep the audience guessing about the protagonist's decisions and their consequences.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of exclusivity, ambition, and moral choices. It challenges the protagonist's values of integrity and independence against the allure of success and acceptance within an exclusive circle.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from defensiveness to sarcasm to ambition. The confrontational nature and high stakes contribute to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, reflecting the tension and ambition of the characters. It effectively conveys the confrontational nature of the scene and sets up future conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of tension, humor, and moral dilemmas that keep the audience invested in the characters' choices and conflicts. The dialogue and pacing maintain a high level of interest throughout.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension, reveals character motivations, and escalates conflicts, creating a dynamic and engaging narrative flow that propels the story forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting aligns with the genre standards, providing clear scene transitions, dialogue attribution, and visual descriptions that enhance the reader's understanding and engagement.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension, reveals character dynamics, and advances the plot. It adheres to genre expectations while offering a fresh take on elite social circles.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the social and thematic elements of exclusivity and ambition, mirroring the film's central motifs through the setting of the Porcellian Club, which is visually rich with details like framed photos and a bra hanging over a lamp. This helps reinforce the elite, hedonistic world of Harvard's final clubs and contrasts with Mark's social awkwardness, as seen in his uncomfortable eating of the sandwich, providing a subtle character moment that highlights his outsider status. However, the scene could benefit from deeper exploration of Mark's internal conflict; his quick agreement to join the project feels abrupt and lacks the buildup that could make his eventual betrayal more impactful, potentially leaving the audience without a strong sense of his motivations or foreshadowing.
  • Dialogue in the scene is functional but occasionally expository, such as Divya's recounting of Mark's past projects (Facemash, CourseMatch, and the MP3 app), which serves to inform the audience but comes across as unnatural and overly convenient. This could alienate viewers by making the conversation feel like a info-dump rather than organic interaction, and it misses an opportunity to reveal character through more nuanced exchanges. For instance, Mark's shrug when asked why he didn't sell his MP3 app is a good touch, conveying defiance and nonchalance, but it could be expanded to show more of his personality, such as his disdain for commercialization, which ties into later themes of Facebook's ad-free ethos.
  • Pacing is brisk, which suits the scene's role in advancing the plot toward conflict, but it sacrifices emotional depth and tension. Mark's interruption to confirm the exclusivity aspect is a strong moment that shows his perceptiveness, but the rapid progression to his agreement and the immediate cut to the deposition might rush the audience through a key turning point. In the context of the script, this scene is crucial for setting up the legal confrontations seen in later scenes, but the deposition cut feels disjointed, as it shifts from a historical flashback to a present-day interrogation without sufficient transition, potentially confusing viewers or diluting the scene's emotional weight.
  • Visually, the scene uses the Porcellian Club's opulence to good effect, emphasizing themes of privilege and exclusion, which aligns with the film's critique of social hierarchies. However, the character interactions could be more visually dynamic; for example, Mark's glances around the room could be described in more detail to show his discomfort or curiosity, adding layers to his characterization. The deposition segment at the end serves to bookend the scene with irony, highlighting Mark's evasion, but it feels tacked on and could be better integrated to maintain narrative flow, especially since the previous scenes (like the administrative hearing and class interruption) build toward this encounter.
  • Overall, the scene succeeds in portraying the Winklevoss twins and Divya as well-intentioned but naive collaborators, contrasting with Mark's cunning, but it could strengthen the audience's understanding of the characters by delving into their relationships more. For instance, the banter between Cameron and Tyler adds levity and shows their camaraderie, but it doesn't deeply engage with Mark, missing a chance to humanize the antagonists or explore class dynamics. In educational terms, this scene could be improved by ensuring that key plot points (like Mark's agreement) are earned through character development, making the story more compelling and less predictable for readers or viewers.
Suggestions
  • Slow down the pacing of Mark's agreement by adding a beat where he asks probing questions or shows hesitation, such as inquiring about the technical specifics of HarvardConnection, to build tension and foreshadow his own ambitions.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it less expository; for example, have Divya reference Mark's projects more casually in conversation, perhaps tying them to shared experiences or humor, to make the exchange feel more natural and reveal character traits without overt explanation.
  • Enhance visual storytelling by incorporating more reaction shots or actions, like Mark subtly rolling his eyes or fidgeting with the sandwich wrapper, to convey his discomfort and internal thoughts, making the scene more engaging and less dialogue-heavy.
  • Strengthen the transition to the deposition by adding a line or visual cue that links the two time periods, such as a fade or a reflective moment where Mark recalls the event, to improve narrative cohesion and reduce abruptness.
  • Add subtle foreshadowing of conflict by having Mark make a cryptic comment about exclusivity or innovation that hints at his future plans, helping to deepen character arcs and make the scene more integral to the overall story.



Scene 13 - Evasive Interrogations
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO with GRETCHEN.
GRETCHEN
When did you come to Eduardo?
MARK
I don’t understand that question.
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
Do you remember answering in the
affirmative?
MARK
The affirmative?
CUT TO:

INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GRETCHEN
When did you come to Eduardo with the
idea for Facebook.
MARK
It was called TheFacebook then.
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
This doesn’t need to be that difficult.
MARK
I’m currently in the middle of two
different lawsuits.
GAGE
Did you answer affirmatively? When Tyler
and Cameron Winklevoss and Divya Narendra
asked you to build HarvardConnection, did
you say yes?
MARK
I said I’d help.
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GRETCHEN
When did you approach Mr. Saverin with
the idea for TheFacebook?
MARK
I wouldn’t say I approached him.
GRETCHEN
Sy?
SY
You can answer the question.
MARK
At a party at Alpha Epsilon Pi.
GRETCHEN
What’s that?
MARK
The Jewish fraternity. It was Caribbean
Night.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Tech"]

Summary In scene 13, Mark Zuckerberg undergoes legal depositions in two separate rooms, where he faces intense questioning from lawyers Gretchen and Gage. Gretchen probes Mark about when he shared the idea for TheFacebook with Eduardo Saverin, to which Mark initially evades but later specifies it was at a fraternity party. Meanwhile, Gage questions Mark about his involvement with the HarvardConnection project, but Mark remains non-committal, emphasizing the complexities of his legal situation. The scene highlights Mark's defensive demeanor and the mounting tension as he struggles to provide clear answers under scrutiny.
Strengths
  • Intense confrontations
  • Revealing character dynamics
  • Advancing plot significantly
Weaknesses
  • Lack of character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and conflict within the legal setting, providing depth to the characters and advancing the plot significantly.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of legal depositions and memory disputes is engaging and adds depth to the characters and plot, showcasing the complexities of the situation.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly through the confrontations and revelations in the depositions, setting the stage for further developments and conflicts.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on legal proceedings and the tech industry, blending personal dynamics with professional conflicts. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' personalities shine through in their responses and interactions, adding layers to their dynamics and motivations.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the confrontations and revelations set the stage for potential developments in the future.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the questions and scrutiny while maintaining control over the narrative of events. This reflects his need to protect his image and reputation, as well as his desire to assert his version of the truth.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to handle the legal proceedings effectively and defend his actions regarding the creation of Facebook. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of legal accountability and potential consequences.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict is high, with intense confrontations and conflicting memories driving the scene forward and adding tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters challenging the protagonist's statements and motives, creating a sense of conflict and uncertainty that drives the scene forward.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the legal depositions, with characters facing potential consequences and revelations that could impact their futures.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing key information, escalating conflicts, and setting up future plot developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting dynamics between characters, the unexpected revelations, and the unresolved conflicts that leave the audience uncertain about the protagonist's fate.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident is the tension between personal ambition and ethical responsibility. The protagonist's pursuit of success clashes with the ethical implications of his actions, challenging his values and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from defensiveness to tension, adding depth to the characters and engaging the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the defensive, sarcastic, and conflicted tones of the characters, enhancing the confrontational nature of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high-stakes legal drama, the conflict between characters, and the unfolding revelations that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining audience interest. The rhythm of dialogue exchanges and scene transitions keeps the narrative flow engaging and dynamic.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard format for screenplay scenes, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that enhances readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a legal drama genre, with clear transitions between deposition rooms and focused dialogue exchanges that drive the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting between two deposition rooms to visually represent the parallel legal pressures Mark faces from different parties, which mirrors the overarching theme of multiple conflicts converging on him. This technique helps build tension and emphasizes his isolation and defensiveness, making it a strong structural choice that aligns with the film's style of cross-cutting to show contrasts and connections. However, the execution feels somewhat repetitive and static, as Mark's evasive responses ('I don’t understand that question,' 'I said I’d help') dominate without much variation, which could make the scene less engaging for the audience and fail to deepen character insight beyond what's already established in earlier scenes.
  • Dialogue in this scene is functional in reinforcing Mark's character as evasive and sarcastic, but it lacks the sharp wit and intellectual depth seen in other parts of the script, such as Mark's banter in Scene 11 or his technical explanations. For instance, his responses often circle back to ambiguity without revealing new layers of his personality or advancing the plot, which might cause the scene to feel like filler rather than a pivotal moment. This could alienate viewers who are expecting more progression in the legal narrative, especially since this is an early scene (No. 13) and the depositions are a framing device for the entire story.
  • The scene's purpose is to highlight Mark's reluctance to commit to specifics about his past actions, which ties into the themes of denial and the blurred lines between innovation and theft. However, it doesn't effectively connect to the emotional stakes from preceding scenes, like the administrative hearing in Scene 10 or the initial meeting with the Winklevosses in Scene 12. This disconnection makes the scene feel somewhat isolated, as it doesn't build directly on the curiosity and potential collaboration hinted at in Scene 9 and 12, nor does it foreshadow the escalating consequences seen later. Additionally, the lack of visual or auditory variety in the deposition setting—confined to sterile rooms with lawyers—might not hold audience attention compared to more dynamic scenes like the rowing practice or the heated arguments in earlier parts.
  • Character interactions are minimal and lack depth; for example, Mark's evasions are in character, but there's no opportunity for other characters like Gretchen or Gage to show more personality or push back in a way that escalates conflict. This results in a scene that feels one-sided, focusing solely on Mark's deflection without exploring the lawyers' motivations or the broader implications of the questions. From a screenwriting perspective, this could be an opportunity to add subtext or subtle cues that hint at Mark's internal turmoil, such as nervous tics or glances at notes, to make the scene more psychologically engaging and help the audience understand his mindset better.
  • Overall, while the scene maintains the film's tone of intellectual arrogance and legal scrutiny, it risks feeling redundant in a script that already uses depositions as a narrative frame. With no new information revealed and the intercutting not adding significant dramatic weight, it might not serve as a strong standalone moment, potentially slowing the pace in an early act where establishing Mark's world and conflicts should be more propulsive. This could be improved by ensuring the scene contributes more uniquely to character development or plot progression, drawing stronger links to the viral success of Facemash from Scenes 6-7 or the social dynamics in Scene 11.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more varied and revealing dialogue for Mark to make his evasions feel fresh and insightful, such as adding sarcastic asides or partial truths that hint at his guilt or ambition, to heighten tension and provide deeper character insight without giving away too much.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by intercutting brief, evocative flashbacks to the events being discussed (e.g., a quick cut to the Alpha Epsilon Pi party or the Winklevoss meeting) to add dynamism and remind the audience of key moments from earlier scenes, making the deposition more engaging and tied to the narrative arc.
  • Introduce a small escalation in conflict, such as a lawyer pressing Mark harder with evidence or a emotional slip-up, to raise the stakes and prevent the scene from feeling static, ensuring it advances the legal subplot and builds toward future confrontations.
  • Shorten repetitive elements in the dialogue and intercutting to improve pacing, aiming for a tighter scene that focuses on one or two key exchanges, allowing more room for character reactions or subtle visual cues like close-ups on Mark's face to convey his discomfort and isolation.
  • Strengthen thematic connections by having Mark's responses subtly reference earlier events, like his blog post or the Facemash backlash, to create a cohesive thread through the script and reinforce how his past actions haunt him in the present deposition setting.



Scene 14 - Cold Revelations at Caribbean Night
INT. LARGE MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM - NIGHT
The hall has been converted into “Alpha Epsilon Pi Caribbean
Night, 2003” and the party is about as lame as it sounds.
What’s important is that this couldn’t be less like the final
club party we saw at the beginning if they were playing Pin
the Tail on the Donkey.
Some potted palm trees have been brought in along with a steel
drum set. The man playing the steel drum set has a yarmulke
bobby pinned to his thinning hair. A table with a punch bowl
and assorted cookies is nearby.
EDUARDO, in baggy cargo shorts and a Hawaiian shirt buttoned
up to the top, is standing with a few similarly dressed
friends, including DUSTIN MOSKOVITZ and CHRIS HUGHES, in the
sparsely populated room. On the other side of the room are a
few girls--all Asian. One of the girls is wearing a bikini
over her clothes. A television monitor has been set up with a
DVD running of Niagara Falls.
EDUARDO
It’s not that guys like me are generally
attracted to Asian girls. It’s that Asian
girls are generally attracted to guys
like me.
DUSTIN
I’m developing an algorithm to define the
connection between Jewish guys and Asian
girls.
EDUARDO
I don’t think it’s that complicated.
They’re hot, they’re smart, they’re not
Jewish and they can’t dance.
CHRIS
Mark’s here.
They see MARK come in and look around. EDUARDO waves him
over...
EDUARDO
(calling)
Mark.
MARK sees EDUARDO and waves him over to where he is. He wants
to talk privately.
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
I’ll be right back.
EDUARDO joins MARK in the back of the room and they take up a
spot next to a bay window that’s covered on the outside with
ice.

MARK
I think I’ve come up with something.
EDUARDO
Hang on, I’ve gotta tell you something
you’re not going to believe.
MARK
What?
EDUARDO
I got punched by the Phoenix.
MARK
(beat)
Are you kidding?
EDUARDO
No. I mean it’s just the first of the
four step process but they slipped the
invitation under my door tonight. I go to
the first punch party tomorrow and if
they like me--
MARK
You got punched by the Phoenix.
EDUARDO
(pause)
It was, you know...it was probably just a
diversity thing. It was just a diversity
thing. I’ll just ride that horse until--
what did you want to talk to me about?
(pause)
Mark?
MARK
Yeah.
EDUARDO
You said you’ve come up with something.
It seems like MARK’s just made a small decision in his head.
MARK
(pause)
Yeah. I think I’ve come up with
something. Come outside.
EDUARDO
It’s 20 degrees outside.

MARK
I can’t stare at that loop of Niagara
Falls which has nothing to do with the
Caribbean.
CUT TO:
EXT. QUAD - NIGHT
MARK and EDUARDO come outside and are immediately met by the
freezing cold air.
MARK
People came to Facemash in a stampede,
right?
EDUARDO
Yeah.
MARK
It wasn’t because they saw pictures of
hot girls. You can go anywhere on the
internet and see pictures of hot girls.
EDUARDO
Yeah.
MARK
It was because they saw pictures of girls
that they knew. People want to go on the
internet and check out their friends. Why
not build a website that offers that?
Friends, pictures, profiles, whatever you
can...visit, browse around, maybe it’s
somebody you just met at a party. I’m not
talking about a dating site. I’m talking
about taking the entire social experience
of college and putting it online.
EDUARDO
I can’t feel my legs.
MARK
I know, I’m totally psyched about this,
too. But Wardo--
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a lackluster 'Alpha Epsilon Pi Caribbean Night, 2003' party, Eduardo Saverin and his friends engage in light-hearted banter about attractions to Asian girls. Eduardo excitedly shares that he was 'punched' by the Phoenix fraternity, while Mark Zuckerberg reveals his idea for a new social networking website. The scene shifts from the awkward party atmosphere to the cold exterior quad, where Mark passionately discusses his innovative concept, emphasizing its potential to capture the college social experience online.
Strengths
  • Innovative concept introduction
  • Authentic character interactions
  • Blend of humor and seriousness
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Character changes need further development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor with a serious discussion, introduces an innovative concept, and progresses character relationships, but could benefit from more depth in emotional impact and character changes.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of introducing a social networking idea in an unexpected setting is fresh and engaging. The scene effectively sets up a pivotal moment in the narrative with the discussion of a groundbreaking website idea.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses with the introduction of the HarvardConnection concept, adding depth to the characters' motivations and relationships. However, more development in plot intricacies could enhance the overall impact.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on social dynamics, relationships, and entrepreneurial ideas. The characters' interactions feel authentic and engaging, offering a unique take on familiar themes.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters interact authentically, showcasing their personalities and dynamics. Mark's innovative thinking contrasts with Eduardo's excitement and sets the stage for future conflicts and collaborations.

Character Changes: 8

Character changes are subtly hinted at, with Mark's innovative idea signaling a shift in his focus and motivations. Further development in character arcs could enhance the impact of future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Eduardo's internal goal is to navigate social dynamics and personal relationships at the party, particularly in his interactions with Asian girls and his friend Mark. This reflects his desire for acceptance, understanding, and connection.

External Goal: 9

Eduardo's external goal is to share important news with Mark and discuss potential opportunities. This goal reflects his ambition, entrepreneurial spirit, and desire to collaborate on new ideas.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The conflict is subtly introduced through character dynamics and contrasting tones, setting the stage for future tensions and collaborations. The scene lacks high-stakes conflict but hints at potential conflicts to come.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with conflicts arising from character interactions, personal revelations, and differing perspectives. The audience is left uncertain about the characters' choices and outcomes.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate, with the introduction of the HarvardConnection concept hinting at potential opportunities and challenges for the characters. The scene lacks immediate high-stakes conflict but sets the stage for future developments.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a pivotal concept and setting up future conflicts and collaborations. The HarvardConnection idea adds depth to the narrative and propels the plot towards new developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting dynamics between characters, unexpected revelations, and contrasting tones. The audience is kept on their toes by the characters' decisions and interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The scene presents a philosophical conflict between superficial social interactions and deeper personal connections. Eduardo's comments on Asian girls and the party's shallow atmosphere contrast with Mark's vision of a meaningful online social platform.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a mix of humor and seriousness, engaging the audience emotionally. However, deeper emotional resonance could enhance the impact of character interactions and revelations.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging, blending humor with serious discussions about the social networking idea. It effectively reveals character traits and motivations, driving the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, drama, and character dynamics. The dialogue and interactions keep the audience invested in the characters' relationships and motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension, transitions between settings, and conveys the characters' emotions and decisions. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to expected formatting standards for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue formatting. The visual elements are effectively conveyed through the writing.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions, transitions, and pacing. It effectively sets up conflicts and resolutions while maintaining the audience's interest.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a contrast between the superficial, lackluster social environment of the fraternity party and Mark's innovative idea, mirroring the film's broader theme of digital connectivity versus real-world social hierarchies. This visual and atmospheric choice helps underscore Mark's alienation and his preference for intellectual pursuits, making the transition to the quad a symbolic moment where his vision for Facebook begins to take shape. However, the dialogue about Eduardo's attraction to Asian girls feels stereotypical and potentially offensive, which could distract from the scene's core purpose and date the script unnecessarily, reducing its universality and emotional resonance for modern audiences.
  • Character development is handled well in showing Eduardo's excitement about being 'punched' by the Phoenix club, highlighting his desire for social status and foreshadowing future conflicts, but Mark's pitch for the social network idea comes across as somewhat abrupt and underexplored. The explanation of why people flocked to Facemash (to see people they know) is a strong conceptual hook, but it lacks deeper emotional layering; for instance, more insight into Mark's personal motivations—perhaps tying it to his recent breakup or feelings of rejection—could make the idea feel more organic and tied to his character arc, enhancing the scene's impact within the overall narrative.
  • Pacing is generally tight, with the quick shift from the party interior to the exterior quad building tension and emphasizing Mark's urgency, but the comedic element of the Niagara Falls video loop feels somewhat forced and irrelevant, potentially confusing viewers or diluting the focus on the key revelation. Additionally, the scene's reliance on exposition through dialogue (e.g., Mark explaining the concept) might feel expository rather than natural, especially in a screenplay that often uses voice-over and intercutting to convey information more dynamically, as seen in earlier scenes. This could benefit from more subtle integration of the idea through action or subtext to maintain the film's stylistic consistency.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the motif of exclusivity—contrasting Eduardo's real-world club aspirations with Mark's digital alternative—but it could delve deeper into the irony of Mark's idea as a 'Final Club' for the masses, perhaps by drawing a more explicit parallel to the parties depicted in Scene 3. This would strengthen the script's exploration of social dynamics and technology's role in democratizing or replicating elitism. Overall, while the scene advances the plot by planting the seed for Facebook, it risks feeling like a setup for later conflicts without fully capitalizing on the emotional stakes, especially given the deposition framing in surrounding scenes that highlight regret and betrayal.
  • Visually, the description of the party as 'lame' and the cold exterior effectively convey isolation and discomfort, aligning with the film's tone, but there's an opportunity to use more vivid sensory details to immerse the audience. For example, the steel drum player with a yarmulke adds a quirky, humorous touch, but it could be leveraged to comment on cultural identity or irony in a more nuanced way, similar to how earlier scenes use parallel editing to build thematic depth. The end of the scene, with Mark's enthusiasm contrasted against Eduardo's physical discomfort, is a strong visual metaphor for their differing priorities, but it could be amplified to heighten the foreshadowing of their eventual fallout.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue about Eduardo's attraction to Asian girls to make it less stereotypical; consider rephrasing or shortening it to focus on his social ambitions without reinforcing cultural tropes, or integrate it more organically into the conversation to serve character development.
  • Add more buildup to Mark's pitch by including a brief moment of hesitation or internal conflict, such as a flashback to Facemash or a reference to his breakup, to make the idea revelation feel more personal and emotionally charged, increasing audience investment.
  • Enhance the visual and atmospheric elements by adding more sensory details, like the sound of the steel drum clashing with the partygoers' awkward silence or the visual of breath visible in the cold air outside, to better contrast the settings and emphasize the thematic shift from social superficiality to digital innovation.
  • Incorporate subtle foreshadowing or callbacks to earlier scenes, such as mentioning the Winklevosses' proposal from Scene 12, to create a stronger narrative thread and highlight the brewing conflicts over idea theft and exclusivity.
  • Improve the pacing by extending the moment when they step outside, perhaps with a pause for Eduardo to react more fully to Mark's idea, allowing for a natural progression in their dialogue and giving the audience time to absorb the significance of this pivotal moment in the story.



Scene 15 - The Seeds of Conflict
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
“It would be exclusive”.
CUT BACK TO:

EXT. QUAD - NIGHT
MARK
You’d have to know the people on the site
to get past your own page. Like getting
punched.
EDUARDO
That’s good, that’s new.
MARK
Wardo, it’s like a Final Club except
we’re the president.
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
I told him I thought it sounded great. It
was a great idea. There was nothing to
hack, people were going to provide their
own pictures, their own information. And
people had the ability to invite--or not
invite--their friends to join. See, in a
world where social structure was
everything, that was the thing.
(beat)
It was a big project and he was going to
have to write tens of thousands of lines
of code so I wondered why he was coming
to me and not his roommates. Dustin
Moskovitz and Chris Hughes they were
programmers.
CUT TO:
EXT. QUAD - NIGHT
MARK
We’re gonna need a little start-up cash
to rent the servers and get it online.
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - NIGHT
EDUARDO
That was why.
GRETCHEN
Did he offer terms?
CUT TO:

EXT. QUAD - NIGHT
MARK
We’ll split it 70-30. 70 for me 30 for
you for putting up the thousand dollars
and handling for everything on the
business end. You’re CFO.
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GRETCHEN
And you said?
EDUARDO
I said “Let’s do it”.
GRETCHEN
Okay. Did he add anything else?
EDUARDO
Yes.
CUT TO:
EXT. QUAD - NIGHT
MARK
It probably was a diversity thing but so
what?
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GRETCHEN
Why do you think he said that?
SY
Gretchen, excuse me for interrupting but
whose discovery is this?
GRETCHEN
Sy, if you’ll let me continue with my
line of questioning--
SY
What are you suggesting?
MARK
They’re suggesting I was jealous of
Eduardo for getting punched by the
Phoenix and began a plan to screw him out
of a company I hadn’t even invented yet.

GRETCHEN
Were you?
SY
Gretchen--
MARK
Jealous of Eduardo?
SY
Stop typing, we’re off the record.
MARK
Ma’am, I know you’ve done your homework
and so you know that money isn’t a big
part of my life, but at the moment I
could buy Mount Auburn Street, take the
Phoenix Club and turn it into my ping
pong room.
CUT TO:
EXT. QUAD - NIGHT
EDUARDO’s walking away and calls back to MARK--
EDUARDO
(calling)
I’ll let you know how the party is.
We stay on MARK for a moment longer, his wheels turning,
before we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Thriller"]

Summary In this tense scene, Eduardo testifies in a deposition about the origins of the website idea, recalling a flashback where Mark pitches the concept of exclusivity reminiscent of a Final Club. As Eduardo praises the idea and questions Mark's choice to partner with him over his programmer roommates, the deposition reveals the terms of their deal, including a 70-30 split. Tensions rise when opposing lawyer Gretchen suggests Mark's jealousy of Eduardo's social status, prompting defensive reactions from Mark and his lawyer. The scene contrasts the excitement of their initial collaboration with the current adversarial atmosphere, ending with a contemplative Mark left alone after Eduardo walks away.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Tension-building
  • Character dynamics
  • Foreshadowing
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Reliance on dialogue for conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, intense, and pivotal in setting up future conflicts and character dynamics. The negotiation and legal tensions add depth and intrigue.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of negotiating terms for a business venture while facing legal scrutiny adds layers to the characters and plot. It introduces themes of ambition and betrayal.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly through the negotiation process, revealing character intentions and setting up future conflicts. It adds depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on friendship, ambition, and entrepreneurship, offering a nuanced portrayal of complex characters and their conflicting motivations. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' personalities shine through their dialogue and actions, showcasing their ambitions, vulnerabilities, and conflicts. Each character's motives are clear and engaging.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the negotiation and confrontations hint at potential shifts in relationships and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to prove his worth and establish his position in the social hierarchy of the university. This reflects his deeper need for recognition, acceptance, and success.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to secure funding and resources to launch the social networking platform. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of turning an idea into a viable business venture.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high due to the power dynamics, conflicting interests, and underlying tensions between the characters. It sets the stage for future confrontations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals, hidden agendas, and shifting alliances creating uncertainty and tension. The audience is left unsure of the characters' true intentions and the outcome of their conflicts.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters negotiate a crucial business deal while facing legal scrutiny and personal ambitions. The outcome will impact their future trajectories.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by establishing key partnerships, conflicts, and motivations. It lays the groundwork for future developments and plot twists.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable as it introduces unexpected twists in character interactions and motivations. The audience is kept on edge by the shifting alliances and revelations that challenge their expectations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7.5

The philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of ambition, loyalty, and betrayal. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about friendship, trust, and the pursuit of success.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes tension, surprise, and skepticism, engaging the audience emotionally. The characters' interactions create a sense of intrigue and anticipation.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and revealing of the characters' true intentions. It drives the scene forward and builds tension effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its dynamic dialogue, shifting power dynamics, and escalating conflicts between characters. The rapid exchanges and revelations keep the audience invested in the unfolding drama.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense through well-timed dialogue exchanges and scene transitions. The rhythmic flow enhances the dramatic impact and maintains audience engagement.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene aligns with industry standards, clearly delineating dialogue, action, and scene transitions. It enhances the readability and visual presentation of the screenplay.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively transitions between locations and characters, maintaining a cohesive narrative flow. It adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing readability and engagement.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the deposition room and the flashback effectively highlights the contrast between past excitement and present bitterness, which is a strong narrative device in this scene. It allows the audience to see the evolution of Mark and Eduardo's relationship, emphasizing themes of betrayal and hindsight, but it can feel disjointed if the cuts are too abrupt, potentially confusing viewers or diluting emotional impact. In this case, the transitions are handled competently, but smoother segues could make the parallels clearer and more engaging.
  • The dialogue is functional in advancing the plot and revealing character motivations, such as Mark's defensive arrogance in the deposition and his visionary enthusiasm in the flashback. However, some lines, like Mark's boast about buying Mount Auburn Street, come across as overly on-the-nose and anachronistic, undermining the subtlety of his character. This expository style can make the scene feel more like a recounting of events rather than a dramatic revelation, which might alienate viewers who prefer shown rather than told storytelling.
  • Character development is evident, particularly in Eduardo's testimony, which humanizes him and shows his naivety in business dealings, contrasting with Mark's calculated demeanor. This builds sympathy for Eduardo and foreshadows the conflict that defines their relationship, but the scene could delve deeper into their emotions— for instance, Mark's wheel-turning moment at the end feels underdeveloped, missing an opportunity to convey his internal conflict more vividly through facial expressions or subtle actions.
  • The pacing maintains tension through the deposition's interrogative style and the flashback's energetic exchange, but it rushes through key moments, such as the business deal agreement, which could be expanded to heighten stakes and make the 70-30 split feel more significant. Additionally, the scene's end, with Eduardo walking away, is a strong visual cue for isolation, but it lacks buildup, making the transition to the next scene abrupt and less impactful.
  • Overall, the scene integrates well with the script's themes of social exclusivity and ambition, using the Final Club analogy to tie into earlier motifs. However, it could strengthen its connection to the larger narrative by referencing specific elements from previous scenes, like the Caribbean Night party, to create a more cohesive flow and remind viewers of the ongoing character arcs without relying heavily on exposition.
Suggestions
  • Refine the intercutting by adding transitional phrases or visual motifs, such as echoing camera angles or sound bridges, to make shifts between past and present less jarring and more fluid, enhancing the audience's emotional connection.
  • Make dialogue more naturalistic by incorporating subtext and interruptions; for example, have Mark's boast about wealth delivered with hesitation or sarcasm to show vulnerability, reducing the expository feel and making interactions more dynamic and believable.
  • Enhance visual storytelling by adding more descriptive actions or environmental details, such as Mark fidgeting during the deposition or Eduardo's breath visible in the cold quad, to convey emotions and atmosphere without relying solely on dialogue, making the scene more cinematic.
  • Slow down key moments, like the business deal negotiation, by extending pauses or adding reactive beats (e.g., Eduardo's surprised expression when offered the CFO role), to build tension and allow the audience to absorb the implications, foreshadowing future conflicts more effectively.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by subtly referencing earlier events, such as the note-passing incident from Scene 11 or the exclusivity discussions in Scene 12, through character thoughts or visual callbacks, to reinforce the script's overarching narrative and improve continuity.



Scene 16 - Depositional Tensions
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO’s in different clothes and being questioned by GAGE.
GAGE
We recognize that you’re a plaintiff in
one suit involving Facebook and a witness
in another.
EDUARDO
Yes sir.
GAGE
At any time in the weeks prior to Mark’s
telling you his idea, did he mention
Tyler Winklevoss, Cameron Winklevoss,
Divya Narendra or HarvardConnection?

EDUARDO
Yes. He said they’d asked him to work on
their site but that he’d looked at what
they had and decided it wasn’t worth his
time. He said even his most pathetic
friends knew more about getting people
interested in a website than these guys.
GAGE
“These guys” meaning my clients.
EDUARDO
Yes. He resented--Mark resented that they--
your clients, thought he needed to
rehabilitate his image after Facemash but
Mark didn’t want to rehabilitate anything.
With Facemash he’d hacked into the Harvard
computers, he’d thumbed his nose at the Ad
Board, he’d gotten a lot of notoriety.
Facemash did exactly what he wanted it to
do.
MARK kind of nods a little to himself.
It should be noted that these depositions have an extra
element of discomfort as everything is being said within a few
feet of the people being talked about.
GAGE
Were you aware that while Mr. Zuckerberg
was building TheFacebook he was also
communicating with the plaintiffs?
EDUARDO
Not at the time I wasn’t, but it really
didn’t have much to do with the
Winklevoss’s dating--
TYLER
You weren’t there!
GAGE
Ty.
(to EDUARDO)
Were you aware that while Mr. Zuckerberg
was building TheFacebook, he was leading
the plaintiffs to believe he was building
Harvard Connection?
SY
You’re offering a conclusion not found in
evidence.
GAGE
We’re about to find it in evidence.

MUSIC kicks in that will tie this next section together as we
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
Two printouts of web pages are taped to a white board--
”Friendster” and “MySpace”. Under the two pages, MARK draws a
third page and titles it “NewCo”.
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
(reading)
From Mark Zuckerberg to Tyler Winklevoss.
November 30, 2003. “I read over all the
stuff you sent me re Harvard Connection
and it seems like it shouldn’t take too
long to implement, so we can talk about
it after I get all the basic
functionality up tomorrow night.”
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
The whiteboard is filled with diagrams now--login page,
profile page, create account...We move over to see MARK at his
computer. He opens the Emacs program and then Firefox, hits a
few keys and the diagram on the whiteboard comes to life on
his computer as we
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
From Mark Zuckerberg to Cameron
Winklevoss. December 1, 2003. “Sorry I
was unreachable tonight. I just got about
three of your missed calls. I was working
on a problem set for my systems class.”
CAMERON and TYLER are looking blankly at MARK who’s giving
them a casual “I’m not scared of you” look and we
CUT TO:
INT. PHOENIX HOUSE - NIGHT
The MUSIC CONTINUES as EDUARDO and other prospective new
members, all wearing tuxedos, are lined up in four rows.

The boy at the front of each row has a bottle of Jack Daniels
and drinks as long as they can before passing the bottle,
relay style, to the boy in back of him as a few seniors look
on. EDUARDO gets handed the bottle and starts in as we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Biographical"]

Summary In scene 16, during Eduardo's deposition, Gage aggressively questions him about Mark Zuckerberg's interactions with the Winklevoss twins regarding Harvard Connection. Eduardo reveals Mark's dismissive attitude towards their project, while Gage presents emails showing Mark's simultaneous communication with the plaintiffs. Tensions rise as Tyler interrupts to defend Eduardo, and Sy objects to Gage's tactics. The scene intercuts between the deposition and flashbacks of Mark coding in his dorm and Eduardo at a fraternity event, highlighting the contrasting ambitions and social dynamics. The atmosphere is tense and confrontational, culminating in Eduardo starting to drink during the flashback.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Revealing character dynamics
  • Building tension effectively
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Relies heavily on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys tension, resentment, and defiance through the legal depositions, providing insight into the characters' motivations and conflicts.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the legal confrontations and character motivations through depositions is engaging and adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progression in the scene is significant, revealing key information about the characters' relationships, conflicts, and motivations.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh perspective on the legal and personal implications of the Facebook story, with authentic character reactions and motivations that add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' personalities and motivations are effectively portrayed, with nuanced interactions and conflicts adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions and revelations contribute to a deeper understanding of the characters' motivations and conflicts.

Internal Goal: 8

Eduardo's internal goal in this scene is to defend Mark Zuckerberg's actions and decisions, showcasing his loyalty and understanding of Mark's motivations despite the legal implications.

External Goal: 7.5

Eduardo's external goal is to navigate the legal questioning effectively and protect Mark's interests while also managing the pressure from the opposing party.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is high in conflict, with tensions running high during the legal interrogations and confrontations between the characters.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and confrontations adding layers of complexity and uncertainty to the characters' interactions.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of legal battles, personal reputations, and financial interests add intensity to the scene, highlighting the importance of the characters' decisions and actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by providing crucial information about the characters' relationships, conflicts, and motivations, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable as the characters' responses and revelations add layers of complexity and uncertainty to the legal proceedings, keeping the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of ambition, loyalty, and ethical boundaries. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about success, friendship, and personal values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes tension, resentment, and defiance, eliciting emotional responses from the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is confrontational and reflective, effectively conveying the characters' emotions, conflicts, and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its high stakes, conflicting perspectives, and the unfolding drama of the legal proceedings, keeping the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, alternating between dialogue-driven exchanges and visual cues to maintain a dynamic rhythm.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, clearly delineating the setting, characters, and dialogue for easy visualization.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format typical of legal drama genres, effectively building tension and revealing character dynamics through dialogue and actions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively continues the screenplay's theme of legal tension and retrospective examination, using intercutting between the deposition and flashbacks to contrast Mark's solitary, ambitious coding sessions with Eduardo's social engagements at the fraternity. This technique reinforces the core conflict of intellectual theft and personal betrayal, helping viewers understand the multifaceted nature of the lawsuits. However, the intercutting feels somewhat formulaic and repetitive if this is a common device in the script, potentially diluting its impact by not providing fresh visual or emotional surprises in this instance.
  • Dialogue in the deposition is functional for exposition, clearly conveying key events like Mark's dismissal of the Winklevoss project and the reading of incriminating emails. It builds character through Eduardo's testimony, revealing his bitterness and insight into Mark's motivations, which aids in audience understanding. That said, the dialogue can come across as overly expository and lawyerly, with Gage's questions and Eduardo's responses feeling like a direct info-dump rather than organic conversation, which might make it less engaging for viewers who are already familiar with the backstory from earlier scenes.
  • The interruption by Tyler adds a layer of realism and emotional intensity, highlighting the discomfort of having adversaries in close proximity, which is a strong element that emphasizes the personal stakes. This moment humanizes the conflict and shows the raw emotions involved, but it risks coming off as contrived if not balanced with similar outbursts from other characters, potentially making Tyler appear one-dimensional or overly aggressive without deeper context into his personality.
  • Character development is handled adequately, with Eduardo's testimony providing insight into his perspective and relationship with Mark, and the flashbacks subtly illustrating Mark's dedication versus Eduardo's social life. However, the scene doesn't advance Eduardo's arc significantly beyond reiterating established tensions, which could leave readers or viewers wanting more evolution in his character, such as showing how this testimony affects him psychologically in the present day deposition setting.
  • Thematically, the scene underscores deception, ambition, and the clash between social and technical worlds, which is consistent with the overall script. The music tie-in is a good auditory cue to connect the disparate elements, enhancing the discomfort and building suspense, but it might be over-relied upon if not varied, potentially becoming a crutch that doesn't allow the visuals or dialogue to carry the emotional weight independently. Additionally, the proximity of characters in the deposition room is a clever way to heighten tension, but it could be visualized more dynamically to make the discomfort more palpable, such as through closer shots or physical reactions.
Suggestions
  • To improve the intercutting, add more specific visual motifs or symbolic elements that link the deposition to the flashbacks, such as mirroring Mark's intense focus in the dorm room with his detached demeanor in the deposition, to make transitions feel more seamless and thematic.
  • Refine the dialogue to include more subtext and emotional nuance; for example, have Eduardo's responses include hesitations or personal reflections that reveal his inner conflict, making the exposition feel less like a recitation and more like a heartfelt testimony.
  • Enhance Tyler's interruption by giving it more context or buildup, perhaps through subtle cues in earlier dialogue or actions that foreshadow his outburst, to make it feel earned and less abrupt, while also exploring his character's frustration in greater depth.
  • Strengthen character development by incorporating small, telling actions or internal thoughts during the deposition, such as Eduardo glancing at Mark for reactions or Mark subtly reacting to the testimony, to show the ongoing impact of their fractured relationship and add layers to their dynamic.
  • Vary the use of music and visual elements to avoid repetition; for instance, experiment with silence or ambient sounds in the deposition room to heighten tension, and ensure that the flashbacks contribute new information or emotional depth rather than just reinforcing known events, to keep the scene fresh and engaging.



Scene 17 - Evasive Maneuvers
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
It’s an Art History class and as we run past the rows of
STUDENTS we see that they all have the same painting up on
their laptops as the PROFESSOR gives his lecture. When we get
to MARK’s laptop we see that he’s writing code and we
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
From Mark Zuckerberg to Cameron and Tyler
Winklevoss. December 10, 2003. “This week
has been pretty busy thus far with
classes and work so I think it’s probably
best to postpone the meeting.”
CUT TO:
INT. CAMERON AND TYLER’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
CAMERON, TYLER and DIVYA are reading the e-mail.
DIVYA
(reading)
“I’m also really busy tomorrow.”
(beat)
Anybody else feel like there’s something
up with this guy?
CAMERON
Tell him okay but we’ve gotta make sure
that we meet up before we all go off for
break.
CUT TO:
INT. EDUARDO’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
EDUARDO’s at his desk on the phone when an envelope that says
“Phoenix” is slipped under his door. He turns and looks to see
it...
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
Every available wall space is covered with a diagram or a
printout. EDUARDO comes in with the envelope.

EDUARDO
Mark--
MARK
I need a dedicated Linux box running
Apache with a mySQL backend. It’s gonna
cost a little more money.
EDUARDO
How much more?
MARK
Two-hundred more.
EDUARDO
Do we need it?
MARK
Gotta handle the traffic.
EDUARDO
Do it.
MARK
I already did.
EDUARDO
Hey, guess what?
(shows MARK the envelope)
I made the second cut.
MARK
Good job. You should be proud of that
right there, don’t worry if you don’t
make it any further.
EDUARDO
I’ll get outa here.
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
The MUSIC CONTINUES--
GAGE
(reading)
From Mark Zuckerberg to Tyler and Cameron
Winklevoss and Divya Narendra. December
15, 2003. “I have a cs problem set that
I’m just getting started with and it
should be about 15 hours of coding so
I’ll be busy tomorrow night.”
CUT TO:

INT. PFORZHEIMER DINING HALL - NIGHT
DIVYA
(reading)
“I won’t really be free to meet until
next Wednesday afternoon.”
CAMERON and TYLER give each other a look--”Is this guy flaking
out?”
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
(reading)
“...have to cancel Wednesday afternoon.
I’ve basically been in the lab this whole
time and also...”
CUT TO:
INT. HAMBURGER JOINT - NIGHT
DIVYA’s reading off his blackberry to TYLER and CAMERON--
DIVYA
(reading)
“Won’t be able to do Saturday as I have
to meet up with my parents to...”
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Thriller"]

Summary In Scene 17, Mark Zuckerberg's focus on coding during an Art History class contrasts sharply with his repeated email postponements to the Winklevoss twins regarding meetings. As the scene shifts between various locations at Harvard, including dorm rooms and a dining hall, the Winklevoss team grows increasingly suspicious of Mark's reliability. Eduardo discusses funding for their project with Mark, who remains dismissive of Eduardo's achievements. The tension escalates as Gage reads Mark's emails in a deposition room, highlighting a pattern of avoidance that frustrates Cameron, Tyler, and Divya.
Strengths
  • Effective tension-building
  • Complex character interactions
  • Revealing past events and motivations
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some repetitive dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and conflict through the intercutting between legal interrogations and flashbacks, keeping the audience engaged and intrigued.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of legal interrogations and confrontations is effectively portrayed, adding depth to the characters and advancing the plot.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced through the revelations and conflicts that arise during the legal interrogations, setting up future developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on college life by intertwining academic pursuits with entrepreneurial endeavors. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and drive the narrative forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities and motivations are effectively portrayed through their interactions during the legal proceedings, adding layers to their relationships and conflicts.

Character Changes: 7

Character dynamics and motivations are subtly revealed, but significant changes are not prominently featured in this scene.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to navigate the complexities of his relationships and business decisions while maintaining control over his project. This reflects his desire for success, recognition, and autonomy.

External Goal: 7.5

Mark's external goal is to manage the technical requirements of his project and secure necessary resources. This reflects his immediate challenge of handling the increasing traffic on his platform.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict is high, with characters facing off in legal interrogations and revealing underlying tensions and motivations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal dilemmas and external challenges that create uncertainty and conflict. The audience is kept on edge about the characters' decisions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as characters navigate legal battles, personal conflicts, and the consequences of their actions, impacting their relationships and futures.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key information about the characters' past interactions and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7.5

The scene is unpredictable in terms of character motivations and outcomes, keeping the audience intrigued about the unfolding events and relationships.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the balance between ambition and integrity. Mark's focus on technical needs clashes with ethical considerations and interpersonal relationships.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes tension and suspense, but the emotional impact is more subdued compared to the intellectual and confrontational aspects.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is confrontational and evasive, reflecting the tense nature of the legal interrogations and the characters' conflicting interests.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its dynamic interactions, shifting locations, and escalating conflicts. The audience is drawn into the characters' dilemmas and decisions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, balancing dialogue-driven moments with action sequences to maintain audience interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure with clear transitions between locations and characters. It maintains a good pace and builds tension effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting to parallel the legal depositions with flashbacks, maintaining the film's thematic tension between Mark's ambition and the consequences of his actions. However, the rapid shifts between settings—such as the classroom, deposition room, dorm rooms, and dining hall—can feel disjointed, potentially overwhelming the audience and diluting the emotional impact. This technique, while mirroring the fragmented nature of Mark's life, risks confusing viewers if not balanced with clearer transitions or visual cues to establish time and place.
  • Character interactions, particularly between Mark and Eduardo, highlight their evolving relationship, but the scene lacks deeper emotional resonance. For instance, Eduardo's excitement about making the 'second cut' for the Phoenix fraternity is introduced but not fully explored, feeling like a missed opportunity to contrast his social aspirations with Mark's obsessive focus on coding. This could make Eduardo's character seem one-dimensional in this moment, reducing the audience's investment in their friendship's deterioration.
  • The dialogue, especially in the deposition sequences, serves to advance the plot by revealing emails and postponements, but it often comes across as overly expository and static. Gage reading emails verbatim feels like a info-dump, which might bore viewers or make the scene feel more like a legal document recitation than dramatic storytelling. Additionally, Mark's curt responses in the flashbacks, like his dismissal of Eduardo's achievement, could benefit from more subtext to convey underlying tensions without relying solely on direct exchanges.
  • Visually, the scene is descriptive with elements like the cluttered dorm room walls covered in diagrams, which effectively symbolize Mark's intense focus and isolation. However, this is undercut by the lack of variety in shot composition during the intercuts, making some sequences repetitive and less engaging. The contrast between the sterile deposition room and the lively college settings is strong, but it could be amplified with more dynamic camera work to heighten the thematic parallels between past ambition and present accountability.
  • Overall, the scene advances the narrative by building suspicion around Mark's intentions with the Winklevoss twins and showing the progression of his project with Eduardo, but it doesn't fully capitalize on building suspense or character development. Coming after scenes that establish similar patterns of evasion and ambition, it risks feeling redundant, and the abrupt cuts without strong narrative payoffs might leave viewers wanting more resolution or escalation in the conflicts.
Suggestions
  • Smooth out the intercutting by adding transitional elements, such as fade-ins or sound bridges, to make shifts between deposition rooms, flashbacks, and present-day actions feel more fluid and less jarring, helping the audience follow the timeline without confusion.
  • Deepen character moments by incorporating subtle physical actions or facial expressions that reveal emotions; for example, show Eduardo's reaction to Mark's dismissal of his fraternity news through a lingering close-up or a hesitant pause, to add layers to their relationship and make the scene more emotionally engaging.
  • Make dialogue less expository by integrating email content more naturally into conversations or using voice-over for readings, and add subtext to exchanges—like having Mark's responses carry a hint of sarcasm or guilt—to make interactions more dynamic and reflective of the characters' complexities.
  • Enhance visual storytelling by varying shot types and angles; for instance, use wide shots in the deposition room to emphasize isolation and close-ups in the dorm room to highlight Mark's intensity, ensuring that visual elements reinforce the themes and provide a more immersive experience.
  • Strengthen the scene's uniqueness by tying it more closely to the overall arc; for example, use Eduardo's fraternity envelope as a catalyst to explore themes of social status versus intellectual pursuit, or escalate the Winklevoss twins' suspicion with a small action that foreshadows future conflict, making the scene feel essential and progressive rather than repetitive.



Scene 18 - Fraternity Hazing and Legal Revelations
EXT. HARVARD YARD - NIGHT
The MUSIC CONTINUES--
It’s snowing and cold as hell. EDUARDO’s now with a smaller
group of prospective members, most of whom are in their
underwear with a couple of them wearing pants. They’re all
blue and shivering. They’re gathered around a statue of John
Harvard as a senior announces--
SENIOR
As the plaque reads, this is John
Harvard, founder of Harvard University in
1638. It’s also called The Statue of
Three Lies. What are the three lies, Mr.
Dowd?
(beat)
Mr. Dowd.
SOPHOMORE
The three lies--
(beat)
The first--
(MORE)

SOPHOMORE (CONT'D)
(beat)
Shit!
SENIOR
Take your pants off.
EDUARDO
I know.
SENIOR
Mr. Saverin.
EDUARDO
1) Harvard was founded in 1636, not 1638.
2) Harvard wasn’t founded by John Harvard
and 3) That’s not John Harvard.
SENIOR
Who is it?
EDUARDO
A friend of the sculptor, Daniel Chester.
SENIOR
Keep your jacket on.
And as another kid simply falls to his hands and knees and
throws up, we
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
39 days after Mr. Zuckerberg’s initial
meeting with my clients and he still
hadn’t completed work on
HarvardConnection. But on January 11,
2004--
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - DAY
A website called Network Solutions is up on Mark’s screen. He
hits a couple of keys and waits intently.
Then the computer shows him what he wanted to see--
www.theFacebook.com--DOMAIN NAME REGISTERED
GAGE (V.O.)
Mr. Zuckerberg registered the domain name
theFacebook via network solutions.
CUT TO:

INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
To the best of your knowledge, had he
even begun work on HarvardConnection?
EDUARDO
Not to my knowledge, no.
CUT TO:
INT. PORCELLIAN - NIGHT
CAMERON’s looking at his e-mail.
CAMERON
What in the world is this?
(reading)
“Hey Cameron. I’m still a little
skeptical that we have enough
functionality in the site to really draw
the attention and gain the critical mass
necessary to get a site like this to run.
We’ll speak soon.”
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","College"]

Summary In this scene, Eduardo participates in a snowy fraternity initiation at Harvard Yard, successfully answering questions to avoid further humiliation, while another participant fails and is punished. The scene shifts to a deposition where lawyer Gage questions Eduardo about Mark Zuckerberg's lack of progress on the HarvardConnection project, revealing that Mark registered the domain for theFacebook shortly after. Intercut with Mark in his dorm room registering the domain, the tension escalates as Eduardo confirms Mark's inaction. The scene concludes with Cameron reading an email expressing skepticism about their website project's viability.
Strengths
  • Effective tension-building
  • Revealing crucial plot points
  • Creating a sense of urgency
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some dialogue may feel forced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines tension, suspicion, and discomfort through contrasting settings and interactions, providing crucial information about the characters and plot.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of revealing lies and legal proceedings adds depth to the narrative, setting the stage for further developments in the story.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly with the revelation of domain registration and legal confrontations, setting up conflicts and character dynamics for future scenes.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on initiation rituals and academic settings, infusing humor and intellectual engagement. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities and motivations are effectively portrayed, especially through their reactions to the unfolding events, adding layers to their development.

Character Changes: 7

Character changes are subtle but present, especially in the dynamics between the characters as they navigate the revelations and conflicts.

Internal Goal: 8

Eduardo's internal goal is to demonstrate his knowledge and intelligence in front of his peers. This reflects his desire for recognition and validation of his abilities.

External Goal: 7.5

Eduardo's external goal is to navigate the initiation ritual successfully and gain acceptance among the group. This reflects the immediate challenge of fitting in and proving himself.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict is palpable, with lies, suspicions, and legal confrontations driving the tension and drama, creating a sense of urgency and intrigue.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene, such as the challenges faced by Eduardo and the group dynamics, adds complexity and uncertainty to the narrative, creating obstacles that drive the characters' actions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high with legal implications, personal reputations, and future endeavors at risk, adding intensity and consequences to the unfolding events.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information, setting up conflicts, and deepening character relationships.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and outcomes, keeping the audience on edge about the characters' choices and the unfolding events.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the theme of authenticity and identity. Eduardo's correction of the misinformation about the statue of John Harvard highlights the importance of truth and accuracy in knowledge.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes discomfort, suspicion, and defensiveness, eliciting emotional responses from the characters and the audience.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue captures the tension and suspicion present in the scene, enhancing the interactions and revealing the characters' emotions and intentions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, tension, and character dynamics. The setting and dialogue draw the audience into the characters' world, creating intrigue and investment.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and humor, creating a dynamic rhythm that enhances the impact of key moments. It keeps the audience engaged and invested in the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards, presenting the scene in a clear and readable manner. It follows the expected format for a screenplay.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the setting, character interactions, and progression of events. It aligns with the expected format for a character-driven drama.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting to juxtapose Eduardo's social initiation at Harvard with the legal deposition, reinforcing the film's themes of exclusivity, betrayal, and the contrast between social and intellectual pursuits. This technique mirrors the overall script's structure, building tension by showing how past actions lead to present conflicts, but it risks feeling fragmented if the cuts are too abrupt, potentially disorienting the audience and diluting emotional impact. In this case, the rapid shifts between the snowy initiation ritual, the sterile deposition room, and the dorm room registration might prioritize exposition over character depth, making the scene feel more like a plot checkpoint than a moment of dramatic revelation.
  • Character development is somewhat underdeveloped here; Eduardo's correct answer during the initiation highlights his intelligence and determination, paralleling Mark's genius, but it lacks deeper insight into his motivations or emotional state. Similarly, in the deposition, Eduardo's responses are mostly factual and reactive, which serves the legal drama but doesn't fully capitalize on the opportunity to explore his growing resentment or the personal cost of his friendship with Mark. This scene could better utilize the deposition format to reveal more about Eduardo's internal conflict, making his testimony feel more personal and less like a recitation of events, which would help the audience connect emotionally and understand the stakes more profoundly.
  • The dialogue, particularly in the deposition, is heavily expository, with Gage reading emails aloud to convey information about Mark's delays and deceptions. While this advances the plot efficiently, it can come across as unnatural and tell-heavy, reducing the scene's cinematic quality. In the initiation ritual, the dialogue is more engaging and ritualistic, adding authenticity, but it doesn't integrate seamlessly with the deposition segments, creating a tonal whiplash that might confuse viewers. Overall, the scene succeeds in pacing the narrative forward but could benefit from more subtle, show-don't-tell approaches to maintain engagement and thematic coherence.
  • Visually, the scene leverages strong contrasts— the cold, humiliating outdoor ritual versus the controlled, indoor deposition room— to symbolize the characters' struggles, but these elements are not fully exploited. For instance, the statue of John Harvard (the 'Statue of Three Lies') is a clever metaphor for deception, which ties into Mark's actions, but it's not emphasized enough to resonate beyond the immediate moment. The quick cuts to Mark registering the domain and Cameron reading the email effectively illustrate Mark's duplicity, but without more lingering shots or symbolic connections, the visual storytelling feels functional rather than evocative, missing an opportunity to deepen the audience's understanding of the characters' isolation and ambition.
  • In terms of pacing and fit within the larger script, this scene as the 18th out of 60 maintains momentum by recapping key events from earlier scenes (like the Winklevoss meetings) and setting up future conflicts, but it risks repetition if similar expository elements were covered in scenes 16 and 17. The 75-second screen time (based on the summary) suggests a brisk pace, which is appropriate for a montage-like sequence, but it might sacrifice depth for speed, leaving some character arcs—such as Eduardo's social climbing or Mark's evasion—feeling glossed over. This could make the scene less memorable on its own, relying heavily on context from surrounding scenes to carry emotional weight.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the intercutting with smoother transitions, such as sound bridges or visual motifs (e.g., linking the 'lies' in the statue to Mark's deceptions via a match cut), to make the shifts less jarring and more thematically cohesive, improving flow and audience engagement.
  • Add more emotional layers to Eduardo's deposition testimony by including subtle physical reactions or internal monologues (via voice-over or facial expressions) that reveal his frustration or regret, making the scene more character-driven and less reliant on dialogue for exposition.
  • Refine the dialogue in the deposition to be more conversational and less direct recitation of emails; for example, have Gage paraphrase or reference the emails in a way that prompts Eduardo to elaborate, allowing for natural reveals and reducing the tell-heavy feel.
  • Strengthen visual storytelling by emphasizing symbolic elements, such as close-ups on the 'Statue of Three Lies' during the initiation to foreshadow themes of deception, or contrasting shots of Eduardo's shivering vulnerability with Mark's confident domain registration, to make the scene more visually dynamic and thematically resonant.
  • Consider expanding the initiation ritual slightly to heighten stakes and character insight, perhaps by showing Eduardo's internal conflict or how it mirrors his business aspirations, ensuring the scene not only recaps plot but also advances character development and ties more closely to the overall narrative arc.



Scene 19 - Tensions Rise in the Deposition Room
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
This is the first time he mentioned any
problem?
DIVYA
Yes it was.
GAGE
You’d sent 36 e-mails to Mr. Zuckerberg
and received 16 return e-mails and this
was the first time he indicated he was
not happy.
DIVYA
That’s correct. He had 42 days to study
our system and get out ahead on--
MARK
Do you see any of your code on Facebook?
GAGE
(help me)
Sy, could you--
SY
(calming him)
Mark--

MARK
Did I use any of your code?
DIVYA
You stole our whole goddam idea!
SY
Fellas.
MARK
Match-dot-com for Harvard guys?
GAGE
Can I continue with my deposition?
MARK
You know you really don’t need a forensic
team to get to the bottom of this. If you
guys were the inventors of Facebook you’d
have invented Facebook.
DIVYA
I can’t wait to stand over your shoulder
and watch you write us a check.
MARK
No shit?
SY
(to GAGE)
Let’s continue.
DIVYA’s still staring at MARK, who just smiles a little as he
looks down.
GAGE
(beat)
February 4th, 2004--
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Legal Drama"]

Summary In scene 19, during a deposition, lawyer Gage questions Divya about Mark Zuckerberg's dissatisfaction with their system. Mark interrupts, challenging Divya's claims and accusing them of not being true inventors. Divya retaliates, accusing Mark of stealing their idea, which he dismisses sarcastically. The atmosphere becomes increasingly tense as Gage and Sy attempt to maintain order, but the personal conflict between Divya and Mark escalates without resolution, ending with Gage trying to refocus the deposition.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Revealing character interactions
  • Building tension
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is intense and engaging, with strong dialogue and conflict driving the narrative forward effectively.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a legal deposition adds depth to the story, highlighting the legal battles and personal conflicts at the heart of the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as key information is revealed through the intense interactions between the characters.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh take on legal confrontations by incorporating elements of technology and innovation. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and drive the narrative forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' personalities shine through in their confrontational dialogue, adding depth and complexity to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the confrontation reveals more about the characters' personalities and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his innocence and defend his actions. This reflects his need for validation, fear of being seen as a fraud, and desire to protect his reputation and achievements.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the legal proceedings and come out unscathed from the accusations of code theft. This goal reflects the immediate challenge he faces in proving his innocence and protecting his creation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high, with tensions escalating as accusations and confrontations unfold, driving the scene's intensity.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing off in a battle of wits and wills, creating uncertainty about the outcome and adding depth to the conflict.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are evident as the characters face legal repercussions and personal confrontations that could impact their futures.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information and escalating the conflict between the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and unexpected revelations that challenge the characters' beliefs and actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between innovation and accusation. The protagonist's belief in his own creativity and the accusers' claims of theft challenge his values and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to defiance, adding depth to the characters' interactions.

Dialogue: 9

The sharp and confrontational dialogue drives the scene, revealing the characters' motivations and conflicts effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high-stakes conflict, sharp dialogue, and the dynamic interactions between characters that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' fates.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard format for a screenplay, making it easy to follow and visualize the scene's progression.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a legal drama, with clear dialogue exchanges and character interactions that propel the plot forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively escalates the central conflict of intellectual property theft and personal rivalry, which is a strength in maintaining the film's thematic tension. However, the dialogue feels somewhat repetitive and overly confrontational, with Mark's interruptions and sarcastic retorts mirroring patterns from earlier deposition scenes. This could make the exchange predictable and less engaging for the audience, as it relies heavily on direct accusations without much subtext, potentially undermining the emotional depth and making characters appear one-dimensional in their antagonism.
  • While the scene advances the plot by highlighting Mark's dismissive attitude and Divya's frustration, it lacks visual variety and dynamic action, confining the drama to a static deposition room setting. This stasis can disengage viewers who are accustomed to more cinematic elements in a film like this, which often uses intercutting and flashbacks in surrounding scenes to add energy. Incorporating more descriptive actions, such as body language (e.g., Divya clenching his fists or Mark leaning back smugly), could better utilize the medium of film to convey tension visually rather than relying solely on dialogue.
  • The character interactions reveal key traits—Mark's arrogance and Divya's defensiveness—but they could be more nuanced to reflect the complexity of their motivations. For instance, Divya's accusation of idea theft is blunt and lacks the layered resentment that might stem from his earlier experiences, as shown in previous scenes. This directness might alienate the audience by making the conflict feel too black-and-white, whereas adding hints of vulnerability or regret could humanize the characters and make the scene more relatable, aligning with the film's exploration of ambition and betrayal.
  • Pacing-wise, the scene's structure with multiple interruptions builds immediate tension, but it risks feeling chaotic or rushed, especially in a legal drama where measured exchanges often heighten stakes. The abrupt ending, with Divya staring and Mark smiling, provides a strong visual button but doesn't fully resolve the emotional arc, leaving the audience without a clear sense of progression. This could be improved by ensuring the scene has a clearer build-up and payoff, tying it more explicitly to the overarching narrative of the lawsuits.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the idea of innovation versus imitation, a core element of the screenplay, but it could strengthen connections to earlier events (like the Winklevoss twins' initial pitch) by referencing specific details from those scenes. This would enhance continuity and remind viewers of the stakes, making the critique more educational for readers by illustrating how individual scenes contribute to the larger story arc in screenwriting.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to incorporate more subtext and subtlety; for example, have Mark imply his doubts about the Winklevoss idea through indirect comments or questions, allowing the audience to infer conflict rather than stating it outright, which can make interactions feel more natural and engaging.
  • Add visual elements to break up the dialogue-heavy scene, such as close-up shots of facial expressions, hand gestures, or objects in the room (e.g., Divya gripping a pen tightly), to convey emotion and tension without relying solely on words, enhancing the cinematic quality and adhering to the 'show, don't tell' principle.
  • Introduce a moment of vulnerability for one of the characters to add depth; for instance, let Divya briefly reference a personal stake in the project (like his own aspirations) before accusing Mark, or have Mark show a flicker of doubt in his smile, making the conflict more human and less adversarial, which can improve character development and audience empathy.
  • Adjust the pacing by spacing out interruptions more strategically—perhaps start with a calmer exchange before building to the outbursts—to create a gradual escalation of tension, ensuring the scene feels dynamic and purposeful rather than frenetic, and end with a stronger emotional beat that transitions smoothly to the next scene.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by including a line or visual cue that echoes earlier scenes, such as a reference to the 'Match-dot-com' idea linking back to the Winklevoss pitch, to reinforce continuity and help the audience connect the dots in the narrative, making the scene more integral to the overall story.



Scene 20 - Epiphany in the Snow
INT. COMPUTER SCIENCE LAB - DAY
MARK is working at a station. We can see through the windows
that it’s a frigid, snowy February day in Cambridge but MARK’s
in his hoodie and cargo shorts nonetheless. It looks like he
hasn’t slept in days. On his monitor we can see that he’s
working on the profile page for theFacebook.
DUSTIN MOSKOVITZ steps up to him quietly.
DUSTIN
Mark?
(pause)
Mark.
MARK turns his head and looks at him...

DUSTIN (CONT’D)
(quietly)
There’s a girl in your art history class.
Her name is Stephanie Attis. Do you
happen to know if she has a boyfriend?
MARK just keeps looking at him--barely even blinking--”Why am
I being interrupted?”
DUSTIN (CONT’D)
(beat)
Have you ever seen her with anyone?
(beat)
And if not, do you happen to know if
she’s looking to go out with anyone?
MARK
(pause)
Dustin. People don’t walk around with a
sign on them that says--
And MARK stops short right there. Because in his head, he’s
just discovered the cure for cancer.
DUSTIN
(pause)
Mark?
EXT. COMPUTER SCIENCE BUILDING - DAY
As MARK, with his backpack stuffed, comes flying out of the
building and into the snow, barely keeping his balance on the
ice and we
CUT TO:
INT. KIRKLAND HOUSE/LOBBY - MORNING
The heavy door bursts open and MARK comes busting through. He
makes his way with speed and intent up a flight of stairs.
Then another.
And then another until he gets to his floor. He sprints down
his hall toward his dorm room and barely notices EDUARDO
leaning against the door.
EDUARDO
We were supposed to meet at 9.
MARK is searching the pockets of his shorts for his keys.
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
Have you slept yet?
MARK opens the door and they go into his suite--

MARK
I have to add something.
EDUARDO
What?
MARK’s in his own world as he sits at the computer and calls
up theFacebook. The home page fills the screen.
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
(simply)
Shit.
(beat)
That looks good.
(beat)
That looks really good.
MARK
It’s clean and simple. No Disneyland, no
Live Nude Girls.
The CAMERA surveys the screen as MARK slips through some
functions to show EDUARDO and we see things that are now
familiar--A photo, sex, a profile, a list of attributes, a
poke application, etc.
MARK (CONT’D)
But watch.
MARK’s called up a the Emacs program and quickly writes out
several lines of code...
EDUARDO
What’d you write?
MARK goes back to the profile page. There’s a new area to be
filled in...
MARK
“Relationship Status”, “Interested In”.
(beat)
This is what drives life at college. Are
you having sex or aren’t you. It’s why
people take certain classes, and sit
where they sit, and do what they do, and
at its, um, center, you know, that’s what
theFacebook is gonna be about. People are
gonna log on because after all the cake
and watermelon there’s a chance they’re
actually gonna--
EDUARDO
--get laid.
MARK
(over)
--meet a girl. Yes.

EDUARDO
That’s really good.
MARK
(beat)
And that’s it.
EDUARDO
(beat)
What do you mean?
MARK
It’s ready.
EDUARDO
It’s ready?
MARK
Yeah.
EDUARDO
Right now?
MARK
That was it. And here’s the masthead.
MARK hits another couple of keystrokes and the website’s
masthead comes up.
EDUARDO
You made a masthead.
MARK
Yeah.
EDUARDO
(reading)
“Eduardo Saverin. Co-Founder and CFO.”
MARK
Yeah.
EDUARDO
You have no idea what that’s going to
mean to my father.
MARK
Sure I do.
EDUARDO
(pause)
When’s it gonna go live?
MARK
Right now. Get your laptop out.

EDUARDO
Why do we need my laptop?
MARK
Because you’ve got e-mails for everyone
at the Phoenix.
EDUARDO
(beat)
I’m not sure if it’s gonna be cool with
them that I spam their--
MARK
This is not spam.
EDUARDO
No, I know it’s not spam--
MARK
If we send it to our friends it’ll just
bounce around the Dworkin.
EDUARDO
I haven’t gotten in yet.
MARK
These guys know people and I need their e-
mails.
EDUARDO
(beat)
Sure.
MARK
Good.
EDUARDO takes out his laptop--
MARK (CONT’D)
Gimmie the mailing list.
EDUARDO
“Jabberwock12.listserv@Harvard E-D-U.”
MARK opens up an e-mail and is writing a short message, then
includes a link to the site--
MARK
These guys. They’re literary geniuses
because the world’s most obvious Lewis
Carroll reference--
EDUARDO
They’re not so bad.
MARK
I’m just saying.

EDUARDO
You’re right.
He hits “Send”.
MARK
The site’s live.
EDUARDO
(pause)
You know what? Let’s go get a drink and
celebrate. I’m buying.
MARK is staring at the computer...
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
Mark?
MARK doesn’t hear him. We just see MARK’s head from the back
and it’s ever so slightly bobbing back and forth...
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
(pause)
Mark?
(beat)
Are you praying?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Technology"]

Summary On a snowy February day at Harvard, Mark Zuckerberg is deeply engrossed in developing theFacebook when Dustin Moskovitz interrupts him with a question about a girl. Annoyed yet inspired, Mark realizes the significance of adding a 'Relationship Status' feature to the site, which he believes will enhance user engagement. He rushes to his dorm where Eduardo Saverin awaits their meeting. Ignoring Eduardo's concerns, Mark focuses on implementing the new feature, impressing Eduardo with the design and his role as co-founder. They decide to launch the site immediately by emailing the Phoenix final club mailing list, despite Eduardo's hesitation. The scene concludes with Mark fixated on his work, unresponsive to Eduardo's suggestion to celebrate.
Strengths
  • Intense focus of Mark
  • Innovative concept of theFacebook
  • Effective portrayal of coding process
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Minimal character interaction

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly engaging, showcasing Mark's brilliance and determination in creating theFacebook. It sets the stage for the development of a significant technology platform.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of developing theFacebook is central to the scene, showcasing Mark's vision and the initial stages of a groundbreaking social networking platform.

Plot: 9

The plot revolves around the creation of theFacebook, highlighting the key moment of finalizing the profile page. It propels the narrative forward by introducing a pivotal development.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the early stages of social media development, showcasing the personal motivations and conflicts behind technological innovation. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and drive the narrative forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The focus is primarily on Mark, portraying his intense dedication and innovative thinking. Other characters like Eduardo provide support and context to Mark's actions.

Character Changes: 7

Mark's character is further established as a visionary and determined individual, setting the stage for his journey in the narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to innovate and create something groundbreaking, as seen through his intense focus on developing theFacebook and his excitement when he has a breakthrough idea.

External Goal: 7.5

Mark's external goal is to launch theFacebook website and gain traction among his peers at Harvard, as shown by his urgency to make it live and celebrate with Eduardo.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict is minimal in this scene, primarily focusing on the technical challenges and excitement of launching theFacebook.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with challenges such as technical hurdles and interpersonal dynamics adding complexity to Mark's journey.

High Stakes: 7

While the creation of theFacebook is significant, the immediate stakes are not high in this particular scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing the key development of launching theFacebook, setting the stage for future events.

Unpredictability: 7.5

The scene is unpredictable in Mark's sudden breakthrough moment and the swift decision to launch theFacebook, adding tension and uncertainty to the narrative progression.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of social connection and status, as Mark's creation of theFacebook is driven by the desire to facilitate relationships and interactions among college students.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of excitement and anticipation but lacks deep emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is focused on technical aspects and the excitement of launching theFacebook. It effectively conveys the characters' motivations and the significance of the moment.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its dynamic dialogue, rapid pacing, and high stakes surrounding the launch of theFacebook, keeping the audience invested in Mark's journey.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and excitement, reflecting Mark's urgency and drive to launch theFacebook, enhancing the overall impact of the narrative.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, character cues, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format with clear scene transitions and character interactions, maintaining a cohesive narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Mark's obsessive genius and the pivotal moment of inspiration for the 'Relationship Status' feature, which is a key turning point in the narrative. It advances the plot by showing the birth of a core element of Facebook, tying into the broader themes of social connectivity and human desire, making it both engaging and thematically resonant. However, the epiphany feels somewhat abrupt and reliant on dialogue to explain its significance, which can come across as expository and less cinematic, potentially reducing the audience's emotional investment by telling rather than showing the idea's impact.
  • Character development is strong in highlighting Mark's social awkwardness and tunnel vision, contrasting with Eduardo's more grounded and supportive personality, which reinforces their dynamic and foreshadows future conflicts. Yet, Dustin's interruption serves primarily as a catalyst for the epiphany but lacks depth, making his character feel like a plot device rather than a fully realized person. This could alienate viewers who might want more insight into secondary characters' motivations, especially in a film that explores interpersonal relationships.
  • Pacing is brisk and energetic, mirroring Mark's urgency, which suits the scene's excitement but can feel rushed in transitions, such as Mark's sprint from the lab to the dorm. This haste might overwhelm the audience, reducing the buildup of tension and making the sequence less immersive. Additionally, the visual elements, like the snowy exterior, add atmosphere and symbolize isolation, but they are underutilized; for instance, the cold could be tied more explicitly to Mark's emotional state to enhance thematic depth.
  • Dialogue is functional in conveying technical details and character traits, but it occasionally borders on on-the-nose exposition, such as when Mark explicitly states the importance of 'Relationship Status' in college life. This can make the scene feel didactic, pulling focus from the natural flow of interaction and potentially weakening the authenticity of the characters' voices. The exchange between Mark and Eduardo is heartfelt, but Eduardo's lines about the masthead and his father feel somewhat sentimental and could be more subtly integrated to avoid clichéd emotional beats.
  • Thematically, the scene connects well to the script's exploration of ambition, betrayal, and the digital world's impact on social dynamics, with the launch of the site building suspense for future events. However, it misses an opportunity to reference or subtly nod to the ongoing conflicts with the Winklevoss twins from previous scenes, which could create a stronger sense of continuity and heighten the stakes. The ending, with Mark appearing to 'pray' at the computer, is intriguing and ambiguous, but it risks confusion without clearer visual or contextual cues, potentially diluting the scene's emotional payoff.
  • Overall, the scene is well-structured for a montage-like sequence, effectively using intercuts and action to propel the story forward. Yet, it could benefit from more varied shot compositions and sensory details to make the environment feel more alive— for example, the lab and dorm could incorporate more sounds of typing, background chatter, or visual clutter to immerse the audience in the chaotic world of a startup. This would enhance the cinematic quality and make the scene more memorable, but as it stands, it prioritizes plot progression over deeper character exploration or atmospheric depth.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the epiphany moment by incorporating visual metaphors or flashbacks, such as quick cuts to students interacting socially on campus, to show rather than tell the importance of 'Relationship Status', making it more engaging and less reliant on dialogue.
  • Develop Dustin's character interruption by adding a brief backstory or personal stake, such as hinting at his own social struggles, to make him feel more integral to the scene and provide contrast to Mark's genius without making him a mere trigger.
  • Slow down the pacing in key transitions, like Mark's rush through the snow, by adding more detailed action beats—such as slipping on ice or dodging students—to build suspense and allow the audience to feel the urgency more viscerally.
  • Refine the dialogue to be more naturalistic; for instance, have Mark imply the significance of the feature through rhetorical questions or shared anecdotes with Eduardo, reducing exposition and increasing authenticity in their interaction.
  • Strengthen thematic links to prior scenes by including a subtle reference to the Winklevoss conflict, perhaps through a background newspaper or a line from Eduardo about external pressures, to maintain narrative continuity and escalate tension.
  • Clarify the ambiguous ending by using closer shots on Mark's face or adding subtle audio cues, like heavy breathing or screen reflections, to convey his state of mind more clearly, ensuring the 'praying' moment resonates emotionally and ties into his character's isolation.
  • Incorporate more sensory details in the settings, such as the hum of computers in the lab or the chill of the dorm room, to heighten immersion and use the environment symbolically, like associating the snow with Mark's cold demeanor, to deepen the scene's impact.



Scene 21 - A Disturbing Discovery
INT. DINING HALL - NIGHT
THE KROKODILOES, Harvard’s oldest male a Capella group, are
singing at the front of the hall in their usual uniform of
white tie and tails for a packed crowd of students and
parents.
Incongruously, but with surprisingly nice results, the group
is covering a song from All-4-One--”I Swear”--and the pub full
of students is loving it.
We find a table in the back where DIVYA is sitting with his
girlfriend and some of their friends who are having a nice
time. Divya’s girlfriend, K.C., has her laptop open.
MALE FRIEND
What ever happened to Cole Porter and
Irving Berlin?
FEMALE FRIEND
It’s a Valentine’s theme. They’re playing
love songs.
MALE FRIEND
Good point, ‘cause Cole Porter and Irving
Berlin never wrote any love songs.

DIVYA
Honey, you should put the laptop away.
K.C.
Seven different people spammed me the
same link.
DIVYA
K.C.--
She clicks on the link--
FEMALE FRIEND
What is it?
K.C.
(dryly)
I don’t know, but I’m really hoping it’s
cats that look like Hitler ‘cause I can
never get enough of that.
(beat)
It’s not.
DIVYA takes K.C.’s hand and turns his focus back to the
singers but only for just a second because whatever was on the
screen gets his attention in a hurry.
He swivels the laptop toward himself--
He starts quickly scrolling and reading it and we PUSH IN on
his face as the blood starts draining away...
K.C. (CONT’D)
Div!
(beat)
What?
DIVYA shuts the laptop, grabs it off the table--
Puts it back--
People are starting to turn and see what the commotion is
about as the singing continues.
K.C. (CONT’D)
What is wrong?
DIVYA starts to bolt out of the pub. His foot gets caught on a
chair leg and he falls hard face-first to the floor.
DIVYA
It’s fine.
He starts out again, then comes back for his coat, grabs it,
starts out and falls down all over again.

Finally he’s got it together and flies out of the pub and we
CUT TO:
EXT. BRIDGE - NIGHT
DIVYA’s running across the Charles in the freezing February
air and we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a festive dining hall at Harvard, the Krokodiloes perform a romantic a capella cover of 'I Swear' while Divya and his friends enjoy the show. Amidst light-hearted banter, Divya urges his girlfriend K.C. to close her laptop, but she clicks on a disturbing link that shocks him. His face pales as he reads, prompting a panicked exit that leads to a series of clumsy falls. The scene shifts to Divya running across the Charles River bridge, reflecting his urgent distress.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of suspense, humor, and drama
  • Intriguing setup for potential conflicts and character dynamics
  • Engaging dialogue and character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Some elements of the scene may feel slightly contrived or exaggerated

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends suspense, humor, and drama to engage the audience, creating intrigue and setting up potential conflicts.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around a pivotal revelation that sparks intrigue and sets the stage for further developments, blending suspense and humor effectively.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances through the revelation and Divya's reaction, hinting at potential conflicts and character dynamics that could unfold in the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach by combining a traditional university setting with modern elements like the laptop and unexpected events that disrupt the social gathering. The characters' dialogue feels authentic and relatable, enhancing the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, particularly Divya, are well-portrayed in their reactions and interactions, adding depth and setting up potential conflicts and developments.

Character Changes: 8

Divya's reaction and actions hint at potential character changes and developments, adding depth to the narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

Divya's internal goal in this scene is to investigate something urgent or concerning that he sees on K.C.'s laptop. This reflects his curiosity, sense of responsibility, and potentially his protective instincts towards K.C.

External Goal: 7

Divya's external goal is to address the urgent matter he discovers on K.C.'s laptop, which leads him to abruptly leave the dining hall. This goal reflects the immediate challenge or threat that Divya perceives.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The scene introduces tension and potential conflicts through the revelation and characters' reactions, hinting at underlying dynamics that could drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create obstacles for Divya, both in terms of the urgent situation he faces and the physical challenges he encounters while trying to leave the pub.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are subtly hinted at through Divya's intense reaction to the laptop content, suggesting potential consequences and conflicts that could impact the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a key revelation and setting up potential conflicts and character dynamics that could drive the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces a sudden turn of events that disrupt the initial setting, creating tension and uncertainty about Divya's actions and the situation on the laptop.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the balance between personal relationships and external threats. Divya's concern for K.C.'s safety conflicts with the desire to maintain a normal social setting.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from suspense to humor, engaging the audience and setting up emotional stakes for the characters.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the mix of tones, blending light-hearted banter with tense moments, enhancing the scene's overall impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the sudden shift in tone, the mystery surrounding the laptop content, and the characters' reactions that keep the audience intrigued and invested in the unfolding events.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and urgency as Divya reacts to the laptop content and rushes out of the dining hall. The rhythm of the action aligns with the emotional intensity of the moment.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard screenplay format, making it easy to follow the action and dialogue. It effectively conveys the visual and emotional elements of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a setup in the dining hall, a rising action as Divya discovers something on the laptop, and a climax as he rushes out. The formatting aligns with the genre expectations for a dramatic moment in a screenplay.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds dramatic irony by contrasting the light-hearted, romantic atmosphere of the a capella performance with Divya's sudden and intense reaction, which underscores the disruptive impact of digital innovation on personal lives—a key theme in the screenplay. This contrast helps viewers understand the broader narrative conflict, where social events are interrupted by the consequences of Mark's actions, making the scene a strong example of visual storytelling that mirrors the film's exploration of technology's invasion into real-world interactions.
  • However, the vagueness surrounding what Divya sees on the laptop (described only as 'it') can leave audiences momentarily disoriented, especially if they're not immediately recalling the context from Scene 20's launch of Facebook. While this ambiguity might be intentional to maintain suspense, it risks weakening emotional engagement if the connection isn't crystal clear, potentially alienating viewers who need a stronger hint to grasp the stakes without relying solely on prior knowledge.
  • Divya's physical comedy—falling twice while trying to leave—introduces a slapstick element that feels somewhat out of place in a scene meant to convey shock and urgency. This could undermine the character's credibility and the scene's tension, as it shifts the tone toward humor when the narrative might benefit from a more focused, dramatic portrayal of Divya's distress, especially given his role as a key antagonist building frustration with Mark's deceptions.
  • The pacing is brisk and montage-like, which suits the overall script's style, but the rapid escalation from casual conversation to chaotic exit might feel abrupt without sufficient buildup. For instance, more subtle cues in Divya's body language or facial expressions before he sees the screen could heighten suspense and make his reaction more believable and earned, helping readers and viewers better connect with his emotional state.
  • While the scene advances the plot by illustrating the viral spread of Facebook and its immediate repercussions on the Winklevoss team, it underdevelops Divya's character in this moment. His relationship with K.C. and their friends is introduced but not deeply explored, missing an opportunity to show how this event affects his personal life or relationships, which could add layers to his motivation and make the conflict more relatable and human.
Suggestions
  • To improve clarity, add a brief visual or auditory cue when Divya opens the link, such as a quick cut to a partial screen grab of the Facebook site or a sound effect indicating a notification, ensuring audiences understand the connection to the story without explicit dialogue.
  • Refine Divya's physical reaction to avoid over-the-top comedy; for example, reduce the falls to one instance or replace them with a more restrained panic response, like fumbling with the laptop or knocking over a chair, to maintain a serious tone and emphasize the gravity of his discovery.
  • Enhance character depth by incorporating a short line of dialogue or a reaction from K.C. or their friends that references Divya's prior involvement with the HarvardConnection project, which would tie the scene more explicitly to the ongoing conflict and make his emotional outburst feel more contextualized.
  • Extend the buildup to Divya's reaction by including subtle foreshadowing, such as him glancing nervously at the laptop earlier or the a capella song's lyrics subtly mirroring themes of betrayal, to create a smoother emotional arc and increase tension before the reveal.
  • Consider adding a transitional element in the cut to the bridge, like a sound bridge from the a capella music fading into Divya's heavy breathing or footsteps, to improve flow and maintain momentum, making the scene feel more cinematic and less abrupt.



Scene 22 - Betrayal and Debate
INT. BOATHOUSE - NIGHT
CAMERON and TYLER are rowing in a large practice tank--a
simulator with a hull, oars and rowable water.
They’re focused and charging away in perfect sync when the
door at the end of the century-old boathouse opens and DIVYA
charges in from the cold with his laptop and a copy of the
Crimson in his hands.
DIVYA
(calling)
Hey!
The twins are in the zone and don’t pay any attention.
DIVYA (CONT’D)
(louder)
Hey!
CAMERON
Not now, we need 20 minutes.
DIVYA
(calmly)
Okay. I just wanted to let you know
Zuckerberg stole our website.
TYLER stops rowing and then CAMERON. They look at DIVYA...
DIVYA (CONT’D)
Mark Zuckerberg stole our website. It’s
been live for more than 36 hours.
CUT TO:
INT. CAMERON AND TYLER’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
They’re in gear. CAMERON’s taken a quick shower but didn’t dry
off. He’s in sweatpants with a towel over his shoulder,
talking on the phone with his father and holding the Crimson.
DIVYA’s on his cell looking for MARK and TYLER, still in his
practice clothes, has his desktop computer open to theFacebook
and is studying it.

CAMERON
(covering the phone)
Ty, the lawyer’s on the phone with Dad.
(into phone)
I’m here with my brother, Tyler, and our
business partner, Divya.
TYLER
(reading off the computer)
“Welcome to theFacebook. TheFacebook is
an online directory that connects people
through different social networks. You
must have a Harvard.edu address to
register.”
CAMERON
(into phone)
That’s right.
DIVYA
(into cell)
I called earlier. I’m looking for Mark
Zuckerberg.
CAMERON
(into phone)
Yes sir, he’s quoted a couple of times. I
can read it to you, “’Everyone’s been
talking a lot about a universal facebook
within Harvard’, he says”--he meaning
Mark--”’I think it’s kind of silly that
it would take the University a couple of
years to get around to it. I can do a
classier job than they can and I did in a
week.’”
DIVYA
(into cell)
Tell him Divya Narendra called, I
appreciate it.
CAMERON
(into phone)
I know, that’s how he talks.
DIVYA
(off another copy of the
Crimson)
“As of yesterday evening, Zuckerberg said
over 650 students had registered to use
theFacebook.com. He said he anticipated
that 900 students would have joined the
site by this morning.”

CAMERON
(into phone)
Yeah, Divya was just reading that 650
students signed up for it on the first
day.
TYLER
If I were a drug dealer I couldn’t give
free drugs to 650 people in one day.
DIVYA
And this guy doesn’t have three friends
to rub together to make a fourth.
CAMERON
(quieting them so he can hear)
Guys, please, come on.
(into phone)
That’s what we’ll do, Mr. Hotchkiss.
We’ll put all this together and we’ll
email it to you.
(listens)
You won’t be able to get on the website
yourself.
(beat)
Because you don’t have--a Harvard, umm--
You know what, it would just be easier
for us to email it to you.
(listens)
No, I’m sure you’re right, this is a good
guy--
DIVYA
(reacting)
Wow!!
CAMERON
(into phone)
--and he’s very bright and I’m sure he
didn’t mean to...do what he did.
(beat)
Thank you very much, and Dad--alright
love you too.
CAMERON hangs up.
DIVYA
This is a good guy?
CAMERON
We don’t know that he’s not a good guy.
DIVYA
We know that he stole our idea. We know
he lied to our faces for a month and a
half while he--

CAMERON
He never lied to our faces.
DIVYA
(DIVYA tosses the Crimson to
TYLER)
He never saw our faces! He lied to our e-
mail accounts and he got himself a 42-day
head start because he knows what
apparently you don’t which is that
getting there first is everything!
CAMERON
I’m a competitive racer, Div, I don’t
think you need to school me on the
importance of getting there first, thank
you.
DIVYA
Alright. That was your father’s lawyer?
CAMERON
It was his in-house counsel, he’ll look
at it and if he thinks it’s appropriate
he’ll send a cease and desist letter.
DIVYA
What’s that gonna do?
CAMERON
What, do you wanna hire and IP lawyer and
sue him?
DIVYA
No, I wanna hire the Sopranos to beat the
shit out of him with a hammer.
TYLER
We don’t even have to do that.
CAMERON
That’s right.
TYLER
We can do that ourselves.
CAMERON
Hey--
TYLER
I’m six-five, 220 and there’s two of me.
DIVYA
I’m with this guy.

CAMERON
And I’m saying let’s calm down until we
know what we’re talking about.
DIVYA
How much more information are you waiting
for? We met with Mark three times, we
exchanged 52 e-mails, we can prove that
he looked at the code--
(then)
What is that on the bottom of the page?
CAMERON
(he’s already seen it)
It says “A Mark Zuckerberg Production”.
DIVYA
On the home page?
TYLER
On every page.
DIVYA
Shit, I need a second to let the
classiness waft over me.
CAMERON
Look--
TYLER
Cam. They wrote, “Zuckerberg said that he
hoped the privacy options would help to
restore his reputation following student
outrage over Facemash.com”.
(beat)
That’s exactly what WE said to him. He’s
giving us the finger in the Crimson. Now
while we’re waiting for Dad’s lawyer to
look this stuff over, we can at least--
CAMERON
No.
TYLER
--get something going in the paper so
that people know--
CAMERON
What?
TYLER
That this thing is in dispute.
CAMERON
We’re not starting a knife fight in the
Crimson and we’re not suing anybody.

DIVYA
Why not?
CAMERON wants to answer the question but doesn’t...
DIVYA (CONT’D)
I don’t understand, why not?
CAMERON
(beat--referring to TYLER)
He’s gonna say it’s stupid.
TYLER
Me?
DIVYA
Say it. Why not?
CAMERON
Because we’re gentlemen of Harvard.
(beat)
This is Harvard. You don’t plant stories
and you don’t sue people.
DIVYA
(pause)
You thought he was going to be the only
one who thought that was stupid?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Thriller"]

Summary In scene 22, set at night, Cameron and Tyler are rowing in sync when Divya bursts in with urgent news: Mark Zuckerberg has stolen their website idea and launched it as theFacebook. The scene shifts to their dorm room, where tensions rise as they discuss the situation. Cameron, advocating for a calm legal response, contrasts with Tyler and Divya's aggressive push for immediate action against Zuckerberg. They debate how to handle the betrayal, with Cameron reading quotes from a Harvard Crimson article detailing Zuckerberg's deception and the rapid adoption of his site. The scene ends unresolved, highlighting the conflict between measured strategy and impulsive retaliation.
Strengths
  • Intense confrontation
  • Revealing pivotal information
  • Building tension effectively
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, intense, and crucial for the plot development. It effectively builds tension and sets the stage for significant conflicts and decisions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of betrayal and legal confrontation is effectively portrayed. The scene introduces a significant turning point in the story and sets the stage for further developments.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene through the revelation of the stolen website idea and the characters' reactions. It adds depth to the conflict and raises the stakes for the main characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the tech industry's competitive landscape, intellectual property theft, and the moral quandaries faced by ambitious individuals. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, offering a unique perspective on innovation and betrayal.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities and motivations are clearly depicted, especially in their reactions to the betrayal. The scene highlights their individual traits and sets up potential character arcs.

Character Changes: 7

The characters experience a shift in their relationships and perceptions due to the betrayal revelation. This event sets the stage for potential character growth and transformation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect their idea and reputation while navigating the ethical and moral dilemmas of how to respond to the theft of their website. This reflects their deeper need for recognition, justice, and integrity.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to address the theft of their website by Mark Zuckerberg and decide on a course of action to protect their intellectual property and reputation. This reflects the immediate challenge they face in dealing with the betrayal and potential legal implications.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving legal, personal, and ethical dilemmas. The confrontation between the characters raises the tension to a high level.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, moral dilemmas, and the uncertainty of how the characters will resolve their differences. The audience is left questioning the characters' decisions and the potential consequences of their actions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters face the potential loss of their intellectual property and reputation. The decisions made here will have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a major conflict and decision point. It propels the narrative towards a crucial turning point.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between the characters, the moral ambiguity of their decisions, and the uncertain outcome of their actions. The audience is kept on edge as they navigate the complexities of the situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonists' beliefs in honor, integrity, and justice versus the practical considerations of legal action, reputation management, and the cutthroat nature of competition in the tech industry. This challenges their values and worldview as they grapple with the best course of action.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes strong emotions of betrayal, frustration, and determination. The characters' reactions and the high stakes contribute to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and impactful. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions and drives the conflict forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, moral dilemmas, and the high-stakes nature of the conflict. The characters' interactions and the unfolding drama keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension throughout. The rapid-fire dialogue and escalating conflict drive the narrative forward and keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character cues, and dialogue formatting that enhances readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions, character interactions, and a progression of events that build tension and conflict effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively heightens the central conflict of the screenplay by revealing Mark Zuckerberg's betrayal through the reactions of Cameron, Tyler, and Divya, which aligns with the overall theme of intellectual theft and social rivalry at Harvard. This moment serves as a pivotal escalation, building on the tension from previous scenes where Mark's duplicity is hinted at, and it provides a clear emotional payoff for the audience who has seen Mark's actions unfold. However, the dialogue occasionally feels overly expository, such as when characters read aloud from the Crimson newspaper, which can come across as unnatural and more like a device to inform the audience rather than organic conversation, potentially distancing viewers from the characters' genuine reactions.
  • Character dynamics are well-portrayed, with Cameron's composed and principled stance contrasting sharply with Tyler and Divya's more aggressive impulses, highlighting the class and cultural divides within Harvard's elite circles. This contrast adds depth to their relationships and foreshadows future conflicts, but it could be more nuanced; for instance, Cameron's insistence on being 'gentlemen of Harvard' risks feeling clichéd and overly didactic, reducing the complexity of his character by making him seem one-dimensional in his adherence to tradition, especially when compared to the more multifaceted portrayal of Mark in earlier scenes.
  • The scene's structure, with its quick cut from the boathouse to the dorm room, maintains a fast pace that mirrors the urgency of the situation, which is a strength in keeping the audience engaged. However, this rapid transition might sacrifice some visual or emotional grounding; the boathouse setting with the rowing simulator is a vivid, cinematic element that symbolizes the twins' physical and mental discipline, but it's underutilized as the focus shifts abruptly to the dorm, potentially missing an opportunity to draw stronger parallels between their athletic rigor and the 'race' to claim the social network idea.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the screenplay's exploration of exclusivity, ambition, and the consequences of social hierarchy, as seen in the references to Harvard's culture and the irony of Mark's 'production' credit. Yet, the humor in lines like Tyler's suggestion to 'beat the shit out of him' or Divya's sarcasm about classiness adds levity that fits the film's tone but sometimes veers into caricature, making the characters less relatable and more like archetypes of privileged antagonists, which could undermine the empathy built for them in earlier scenes.
  • Overall, while the scene successfully advances the plot and escalates interpersonal tension, it could benefit from tighter integration with the broader narrative arc. For example, the lack of direct reference to Eduardo's initiation in the previous scene (Scene 18) or Divya's discovery in Scene 21 feels disjointed, as these elements could create a more cohesive buildup, helping readers and viewers better understand the cumulative impact of Mark's actions on all parties involved.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to make it less expository by incorporating more subtext and natural interruptions; for instance, instead of reading quotes verbatim from the newspaper, have characters paraphrase or react emotionally to key phrases, which would make the conversation feel more authentic and engaging.
  • Enhance visual elements to better utilize the settings; expand the boathouse sequence with more sensory details, like the sound of oars cutting through water or sweat on the twins' faces, to heighten the contrast with the intellectual conflict in the dorm, making the scene more cinematic and less dialogue-heavy.
  • Deepen character motivations by adding subtle backstory or internal conflict; for example, give Cameron a brief moment of reflection on his 'gentlemen of Harvard' ethos, perhaps through a facial expression or a line that hints at personal stakes, to avoid stereotyping and make his character arc more compelling.
  • Balance the tone by modulating the humor and aggression; tone down exaggerated lines like the 'Sopranos' reference to prevent it from feeling cartoonish, and instead use it to underscore the characters' frustration in a way that ties back to the film's serious undertones, ensuring the scene maintains emotional weight.
  • Improve pacing and transitions by adding a smoother link to the previous scene; for instance, start with a quick flashback or reference to Divya's discovery in Scene 21 to create better continuity, helping the audience feel the immediacy of the betrayal and strengthening the overall narrative flow.



Scene 23 - Confrontations in the Deposition Rooms
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
During the time when you say you had this
idea, did you know Tyler and Cameron came
from a family of means?
MARK
(pause)
A family of means?
GAGE
Did you know that his father was wealthy.
MARK
(pause)
I’m not sure why you’re asking me that.
GAGE
It’s not important that you be sure why
I’m asking you.
MARK
It’s not important to you.

GAGE
(asking for help again)
Sy.
SY
(to MARK)
Did you know that they came from money?
MARK
I had no idea whether they came from
money or not.
GAGE
In one of your e-mails to Mr. Narendra
you referenced Howard Winklevoss’
consulting firm.
MARK
(beat)
If you say so.
GAGE
Howard Winklevoss founded a firm whose
assets are in the hundreds of millions.
MARK
Mm-hm...
GAGE
You also knew that Cameron and Tyler were
members of a Harvard final club called
the Porcellian.
MARK
They pointed that out.
TYLER
Excuse us for inviting you in.
MARK
To the bike room.
GAGE
(to TYLER)
Please.
(to MARK)
So it’s safe to say you were aware that
my clients had money?
MARK
Yes.
GAGE
Let me tell you why I’m asking. I’m
wondering why, if you needed a thousand
dollars for an internet venture, you
didn’t ask my clients for it.
(MORE)

GAGE (CONT'D)
They’d demonstrated to you an interest in
this kind of thing so--
MARK
I went to my friend for the money because
that’s who I wanted to be partners with.
Eduardo was the president of the Harvard
Investors Association and he was my best
friend.
GAGE
Your best friend is suing you for 600-
million dollars.
MARK
I didn’t know that, tell me more.
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
SY
Eduardo, what happened after the initial
launch?
GRETCHEN
I’m sorry, Sy, would you mind addressing
him as Mr. Saverin?
SY
Gretchen, they’re best friends.
GRETCHEN
Not anymore.
SY
We already went through this on the--
nevermind. Mr. Saverin, what happened
after the initial--
EDUARDO
It exploded.
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
DIVYA
Everyone on campus was using it.
“Facebook me” was a common expression
after two weeks.
SY
And Mark?

DIVYA
Mark was the biggest thing on a campus
that included 19 Nobel Laureates, 15
Pulitzer Prize winners, two future
Olympians and a movie star.
SY
Who’s the movie star?
DIVYA
(pause)
Does it matter?
SY
No.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Legal Drama"]

Summary In scene 23, during depositions, Gage aggressively interrogates Mark Zuckerberg about his awareness of the Winklevoss twins' wealth and why he chose Eduardo Saverin for funding instead. Mark initially evades but eventually cites Eduardo's friendship and position as reasons for his choice, despite Eduardo now suing him for $600 million. The scene shifts to Eduardo's deposition, where he briefly discusses Facebook's explosive growth, while Divya enthusiastically describes its rapid success on campus. Tension escalates with formalities enforced by Gretchen and sarcastic interruptions from Tyler Winklevoss, highlighting the strained relationships and ongoing legal disputes.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Revealing character dynamics
  • Advancing the plot
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Focused primarily on exposition

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, revealing crucial information through intense dialogue and confrontational exchanges, adding depth to the characters and plot.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around exposing financial backgrounds and motivations, adding layers to the characters and advancing the plot.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is significantly advanced through the revelations and conflicts arising from the legal interrogation, setting the stage for further developments.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on themes of friendship, loyalty, and ambition within the context of a legal deposition. The characters' interactions and revelations feel authentic and provide insight into their motivations and relationships.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

Character dynamics are well-developed through the dialogue and reactions, showcasing their conflicting interests and motivations.

Character Changes: 8

Character changes are subtle but significant, as the interrogation exposes hidden motivations and conflicting interests.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to defend his decision-making and loyalty to his friend, Eduardo. This reflects his need for validation, his fear of betrayal, and his desire to maintain his personal relationships despite external pressures.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to explain his actions regarding the internet venture and financial decisions. He must navigate the questioning and accusations from the other characters, particularly regarding his choices in seeking funding.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high due to the confrontational nature of the interrogation, revealing hidden agendas and motivations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters challenging each other's beliefs, decisions, and loyalties. The audience is kept on edge by the uncertainty of how the conflicts will be resolved.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters' financial backgrounds and motivations are questioned, leading to potential legal consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information and setting the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics, the characters' hidden agendas, and the unexpected revelations that challenge the audience's assumptions about the characters' motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around loyalty, trust, and personal values. The protagonist's belief in friendship and partnership is challenged by the questioning of his motives and decisions, highlighting conflicting perspectives on wealth, ambition, and relationships.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The emotional impact stems from the tense interactions and the unveiling of deceptive practices, adding depth to the characters.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and revealing, driving the tension and conflict in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense dialogue exchanges, the high stakes involved in the characters' interactions, and the gradual reveal of personal motivations and conflicts.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense through the strategic use of pauses, interruptions, and revelations. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's emotional impact and narrative progression.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard conventions of screenplay format for a dialogue-driven scene, making it easy to follow and visualize the interactions between characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy, character-driven sequence in a legal drama genre. The pacing and rhythm of the dialogue contribute to the scene's effectiveness in building tension and revealing character dynamics.


Critique
  • The scene effectively maintains the tense, interrogative atmosphere of the deposition sequences, which is consistent with the film's overall structure of intercutting between past events and present legal battles. This technique reinforces the theme of hindsight and regret, showing how Mark's decisions during the founding of Facebook are now under scrutiny. However, the dialogue feels somewhat repetitive and lacks emotional depth, as Mark's evasive and sarcastic responses mirror earlier scenes without advancing his character arc significantly. This can make the scene feel static, relying on familiar tropes rather than introducing new insights into Mark's motivations or the relationships involved.
  • The intercutting between the two deposition rooms is a strength, as it parallels the narratives of different plaintiffs (Winklevoss team vs. Saverin), emphasizing the multifaceted fallout from Mark's actions. Yet, the transitions are abrupt and could benefit from smoother integration to avoid disorienting the audience. For instance, the cut from Mark's deposition to Eduardo's and back to Divya's feels mechanical, potentially diluting the emotional impact by not allowing enough time for each segment to breathe or build tension.
  • Character development is somewhat underdeveloped here; Mark's sarcasm and defensiveness are well-established, but there's little exploration of his internal conflict, such as why he chose Eduardo over the Winklevosses beyond a simple statement. Similarly, Divya's testimony about Facebook's popularity serves as exposition but doesn't add layers to his character, making him come across as a mouthpiece for plot advancement rather than a fully realized individual. This scene could use moments that reveal more about the characters' psyches, such as subtle facial expressions or pauses that hint at deeper resentments.
  • Thematically, the scene underscores the irony of Facebook's rapid success contrasting with the personal betrayals it caused, which is a core element of the screenplay. However, it risks feeling redundant by reiterating information from earlier scenes (e.g., the launch's success from Scene 20), which might bore viewers familiar with the story. Additionally, the brief mention of a 'movie star' user by Sy and Divya's dismissal adds a touch of humor but feels underdeveloped and could be expanded to tie into broader themes of fame and social status.
  • Visually, the deposition room setting is monotonous, with little variation in blocking or cinematography to distinguish it from other similar scenes. This can make the film feel repetitive in its latter half, as the confined space limits opportunities for dynamic visuals. The tone is consistently confrontational, which suits the legal drama, but it lacks variation in pacing or intensity, potentially leading to audience fatigue if not balanced with more engaging elements.
Suggestions
  • Enhance dialogue with more nuanced exchanges; for example, have Mark's responses include a flicker of vulnerability to show the weight of the lawsuits, making his character more relatable and less one-dimensional.
  • Smooth out the intercutting by adding transitional elements, such as a shared visual motif (e.g., a clock ticking in both rooms) or voice-over bridges to connect the testimonies more fluidly and maintain narrative momentum.
  • Incorporate subtle character beats, like Mark glancing at old photos or Eduardo fidgeting with a pen, to convey unspoken emotions and deepen audience investment in their arcs without overloading the scene with exposition.
  • Add specificity to the expository elements; for instance, when Divya describes 'Facebook me' becoming common, include a brief flashback or anecdote to illustrate this, making the scene more vivid and less tell-heavy.
  • Vary the visual style within the deposition rooms, such as using close-ups on facial reactions during tense moments or wider shots to show the room's emptiness, emphasizing isolation and contrasting it with the energetic past scenes to heighten dramatic irony.



Scene 24 - A Night at Harvard: Distractions and Connections
EXT./EST. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
The lamps in Harvard Yard light the snow falling.
SPEAKER (VO)
The light bulb event--the inciting action--
was when he was at Out of Town News and
picked up a copy of Popular Electronics
that had the MITS Altair Kit on the cover.
INT. AUDITORIUM - SAME TIME
There’s a lower-level and a balcony and both are full.
MARK and EDUARDO are sitting in the second to last row of the
balcony.
We’ll hear the SPEAKER but we’ll only get to see him in a
slightly blurry image as our attention is on MARK and EDUARDO.
SPEAKER
It was a beautiful day and I was in my
room at Radcliffe and he brought me the
magazine and he said, “Look, it’s going
to happen without us, we’ve got to start
it now.” And so I said, “Okay, you’re
right. Let’s get BASIC out there.”
He gets an appreciative LAUGH from the STUDENTS.
SPEAKER (CONT’D)
Most of you think you know the rest of
the story but you may not.
(beat)
The beginnings of this industry were very
humble. That kit computer on the cover of
that magazine--

We HEAR a little muffled giggling coming from the row behind
MARK and EDUARDO. MARK is too into the speech to notice but
the giggling registers as a slight annoyance on EDUARDO’s
face.
SPEAKER (CONT’D)
--had an 8080 microprocessor in it,
unless you paid extra for a 1K memory
board, you had 256 bytes.
EDUARDO hears the giggling again and turns around.
In the row behind them and a few seats over are two beautiful
Asian students--ALICE and CHRISTY. They’re a little overly
made-up for a lecture. CHRISTY, the one sitting closest to
EDUARDO, is wearing a short skirt with a white shirt open one
button too far down the front and we can see a hint of the red
bra she’s wearing underneath.
She leans forward and whispers to EDUARDO--
CHRISTY
(whispering)
Your friend--is that Mark Zuckerberg?
EDUARDO
(beat)
Uh...yes.
CHRISTY
He made theFacebook.
EDUARDO smiles a little...this has just never happened--
EDUARDO
Yeah. I mean it’s both of ours--but, yeah
we--yes.
CHRISTY
(still whispering)
Cool. I’m Christy. This is Alice.
EDUARDO can’t help noticing--just because it’s in his line of
sight--that down the row from the girls, someone else is
pointing at them and whispering to a friend.
Then back to the girls--
EDUARDO
(whispering)
Very nice to meet you.
CHRISTY
(whispering)
Facebook me when you get home. Maybe we
can all go out and grab a drink later.

EDUARDO
(whispering)
Certainly. Absolutely I will do that.
EDUARDO turns back to the speaker, who MARK hasn’t taken his
eyes off of--
SPEAKER
There were a number of machines that came
next--the TRS-80, Apple II, Commodore Pet--
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In a snowy Harvard Yard, a packed auditorium hosts a lecture on the early days of computing, highlighted by the speaker's anecdotes about Bill Gates and the MITS Altair Kit. Mark Zuckerberg is absorbed in the lecture while his friend Eduardo Saverin is distracted by giggling from two attractive students, Christy and Alice, seated behind them. Christy recognizes Mark as the creator of Facebook and flirts with Eduardo, inviting him to connect later. Despite the distraction, Mark remains focused on the speaker, who continues discussing the history of computers, leading to a blend of serious and light-hearted moments.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of historical tech references and modern social interactions
  • Engaging character dynamics and potential romantic interests
  • Subtle humor and relatable character reactions
Weaknesses
  • Minimal conflict and high stakes may reduce tension in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene effectively blends historical tech information with contemporary social dynamics, creating an engaging and relatable atmosphere. The introduction of potential romantic interests adds depth to the characters and hints at future developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of blending historical tech references with modern social interactions is intriguing and adds depth to the scene. The introduction of potential romantic interests enriches the character dynamics.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by introducing new elements such as romantic interests and character interactions. While not central to the main storyline, these developments add layers to the characters.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the protagonist's social interactions and technological background, offering authentic portrayals of character dynamics and emotional nuances.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with Eduardo's annoyance and potential romantic interests adding complexity. The scene effectively showcases their personalities and reactions.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the introduction of potential romantic interests hints at future developments and growth for Eduardo.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate social interactions and maintain composure in a public setting. This reflects his desire for acceptance and recognition, as well as his fear of social awkwardness or rejection.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to listen to the speaker and absorb the information being presented. This reflects his immediate challenge of balancing academic engagement with personal distractions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

The conflict is minimal in this scene, primarily revolving around Eduardo's annoyance at the giggling behind him. The tension is light and serves to highlight character dynamics.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create uncertainty and intrigue, adding depth to the protagonist's challenges and potential conflicts.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes are low in this scene, focusing more on character dynamics and social interactions rather than high-stakes conflicts. The emphasis is on building relationships and setting the tone.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new elements like romantic interests and character interactions. It sets the stage for future developments and relationships.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected social encounters and shifting dynamics between characters, adding intrigue and suspense.

Philosophical Conflict: 7.5

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's identity and the perception of his achievements. It challenges his values of humility and shared success versus individual recognition and fame.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a positive and light-hearted emotional response, especially with the introduction of potential romantic interests. Eduardo's subtle annoyance adds a relatable touch.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is engaging and serves to reveal character traits and interactions. The whispered exchanges add a sense of intimacy and intrigue.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, tension, and character dynamics that keep the audience invested in the unfolding interactions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense through well-timed character interactions and revelations, enhancing the overall impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards, clearly distinguishing between locations, character actions, and dialogue for easy readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively transitions between settings and character interactions, maintaining a coherent narrative flow.


Critique
  • This scene effectively captures the growing fame of Facebook through the girls' recognition of Mark, which serves as a subtle indicator of the platform's viral spread and its impact on social dynamics at Harvard. It reinforces the central theme of social isolation versus connection, with Mark's intense focus on the lecture symbolizing his obsessive drive and disconnection from real-world interactions, while Eduardo's distraction highlights his increasing social confidence and desire for interpersonal relationships. This contrast is a strength, as it deepens character development and mirrors the film's overarching narrative about the personal costs of technological ambition.
  • However, the scene feels somewhat static and lacks forward momentum in the plot. As scene 24 in a 60-scene script, it occurs during a period of rising tension from previous scenes (like Mark's epiphany in scene 20 and the deposition conflicts in scene 23), but it doesn't escalate conflict or introduce new stakes. Instead, it functions more as a character moment, which is fine for pacing, but it risks feeling like filler if not tightly integrated with the story's progression. The whispering dialogue between Eduardo and the girls, while intended to convey excitement and novelty, may come across as awkward or unnatural on screen, potentially disrupting immersion due to the challenge of making whispered lines audible and engaging in a theater setting.
  • Visually, the scene uses the blurry speaker image to keep the focus on Mark and Eduardo, which is a clever directorial choice that emphasizes their internal states over the external lecture. However, this technique might underutilize the auditorium setting's potential for more dynamic cinematography, such as wider shots of the packed audience to convey the scale of interest in tech history, or closer cuts to the girls' reactions to heighten the social contrast. Additionally, the dialogue from the speaker about early computing feels somewhat expository and disconnected from the main characters' arcs, which could alienate viewers if it doesn't tie back more explicitly to Mark's inspirations or the irony of his own 'light bulb' moment with Facebook.
  • Character interactions are authentic to the established portrayals: Mark's obliviousness underscores his social awkwardness, a recurring motif, while Eduardo's flirtatious exchange shows his evolution from the earlier scenes where he was more reserved. Yet, the girls' characters (Christy and Alice) are underdeveloped and stereotypical—beautiful, overly made-up distractions—which reduces their impact and reinforces gender tropes without adding depth. This could be an opportunity to explore themes of objectification or the superficiality of online fame, but it's not fully realized here. Overall, the scene is well-written in terms of dialogue flow and emotional undercurrents, but it might benefit from more tension to maintain the high stakes introduced in prior scenes, ensuring it doesn't dilute the film's momentum.
  • In the context of the entire script, this scene bridges the technical innovation of scene 20 and the legal confrontations in scene 23, showing the social ramifications of Facebook's launch. It's effective in illustrating how the platform is changing campus culture, as evidenced by the girls' use of 'Facebook me,' but it could strengthen the narrative by foreshadowing future conflicts, such as Eduardo's growing resentment or Mark's isolation. The tone shifts from educational and light-hearted to socially charged, which is handled adeptly, but the abrupt cut at the end feels unresolved, leaving the audience without a clear emotional beat or cliffhanger to carry into the next scene.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the visual dynamism by incorporating more camera movement, such as panning between Mark's focused face and the girls' animated whispers, to better convey the contrast in character states and make the scene more engaging visually.
  • Refine the whispering dialogue to be more concise and natural; for example, have the girls initiate contact with a non-verbal cue, like passing a note, to avoid audio issues and make the interaction feel more organic and less stagey.
  • Add a subtle layer of conflict to increase tension, such as Mark briefly noticing the distraction and reacting with irritation, which could foreshadow strains in his relationship with Eduardo and tie the scene more closely to the overall narrative arc.
  • Integrate the speaker's lecture more directly with Mark's character by having him mentally connect the historical anecdotes to his own ambitions, perhaps through internal monologue or visual flashbacks, to make the exposition feel more personal and relevant.
  • Shorten the scene slightly to improve pacing, focusing on key moments of recognition and interaction, and ensure it ends with a stronger emotional hook, like Eduardo's excited glance at Mark or a cut that transitions seamlessly to the next scene's conflict, to maintain the script's momentum.



Scene 25 - A Night of Recognition and Mockery
EXT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
As the CROWD from the lecture spills out onto the snowy quad.
EDUARDO--always in his suit--is buttoning up his overcoat as
he walks and MARK zips up his hoodie.
EDUARDO
She said “Facebook me” and we can all go
for a drink later. Which is stunningly
great for two reasons. One, she said
“Facebook me”. Right? And the other is,
you know--
MARK
They want to have drinks later.
EDUARDO
Yes! Have you ever heard so many
different good things packed into one
regular-sized sentence?
A group of guys hustle up to MARK and EDUARDO--
STUART
Excuse me. Mark?
MARK
Yeah.
STUART
I’m Stuart Singer. I’m in your O.S. lab.
MARK
Sure.
STUART
Awesome job with theFacebook.
VIKRAM
Awesome job.
MARK
Thanks.

BOB
I’m Bob.
MARK
How you doin’.
BOB
You know, I could swear he was looking at
you when he said the next Bill Gates
could be right in this room.
MARK
I doubt it.
BOB
I showed up late, I don’t even know who
the speaker was.
MARK
(beat)
It was Bill Gates.
BOB
Shit, that makes sense.
EDUARDO
(beat)
Alright, thanks guys.
As MARK and EDUARDO walk on, we leave STUART, VIKRAM and BOB in
the background--with STUART and VIKRAM admonishing BOB with--
STUART/VIKRAM
(to BOB)
Are you a moron?/Are you medically
stupid?/You can’t recognize Bill Gates
when he’s standing in front of you for an
hour?/Mark Zuckerberg now thinks we got
into Harvard on a dimwit scholarship./I’m
gonna get a Glock .39 and I’m going to
kill you./I’m actually going to kill
you/etc.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In Scene 25, set outside an auditorium on a snowy night, Eduardo and Mark discuss a girl's invitation to drinks using the phrase 'Facebook me.' Their conversation is interrupted by Stuart, Vikram, and Bob, who compliment Mark on his work with Facebook. When Bob admits he didn't recognize Bill Gates as the speaker, he faces embarrassment and mockery from Stuart and Vikram. Eduardo tries to end the awkward interaction, and as he and Mark walk away, the teasing of Bob continues in the background, highlighting the social dynamics and growing recognition of Mark's project.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Engaging character interactions
  • Smooth introduction of Facebook concept
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of deeper conflicts
  • Some characters lack depth in this scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances humor, character interactions, and the introduction of the Facebook concept, creating an engaging and entertaining moment.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of introducing the Facebook idea in a casual setting post-lecture is well-executed, setting the stage for future developments.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by introducing the Facebook concept and showcasing the characters' reactions, hinting at future conflicts and developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh humor and clever wordplay in depicting social interactions among tech-savvy individuals. The characters' authenticity and the witty exchanges contribute to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are engaging and distinct, with clear personalities and reactions that drive the scene forward. Their interactions feel authentic and entertaining.

Character Changes: 6

There are subtle hints at character dynamics and changes, particularly in Eduardo's interactions and reactions to the Facebook concept.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to feel validated and appreciated for his achievements, as seen in his interactions with his peers who praise his work on Facebook.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate social interactions and maintain his reputation among his peers.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is some tension and conflict hinted at in the characters' reactions to Facebook, the scene primarily focuses on humor and excitement.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with subtle challenges and conflicts arising from social dynamics and misunderstandings among the characters.

High Stakes: 5

While there are hints of potential conflicts and stakes related to Facebook, the scene primarily focuses on character interactions and humor.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the Facebook concept and setting up future conflicts and developments, keeping the narrative engaging.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected humor, sharp retorts, and the dynamic nature of the character interactions that keep the audience intrigued.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the characters' perceptions of success, intelligence, and recognition. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about how others view his accomplishments.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits positive emotions, humor, and a sense of anticipation for what's to come, engaging the audience emotionally.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reveals character dynamics effectively. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, quick exchanges, and the relatable dynamics between characters that draw the audience into the interactions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-crafted, with a balance of quick exchanges and moments of pause that enhance the comedic timing and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, with clear character cues, dialogue formatting, and scene transitions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a standard format for a dialogue-driven sequence in a screenplay, effectively capturing the dynamics between characters and advancing the plot subtly.


Critique
  • This scene effectively captures a moment of transition and growing recognition for Mark's creation, serving as a light-hearted interlude that contrasts with the more intense conflicts in surrounding scenes. However, it feels somewhat inconsequential in the broader narrative arc, as it primarily reiterates Mark's rising status without advancing key plot points or deepening character relationships significantly. The humor derived from Bob's ignorance and the subsequent mocking by Stuart and Vikram adds levity, but it risks coming across as overly simplistic or stereotypical, potentially undermining the script's exploration of complex themes like ambition and social dynamics by reducing interactions to surface-level comedy.
  • The dialogue is naturalistic and reflective of college-age banter, which helps ground the scene in authenticity, but it lacks subtext or emotional depth. For instance, Eduardo's excitement about the 'Facebook me' phrase could be an opportunity to explore his insecurities or aspirations more profoundly, especially given his established role as the more socially adept counterpart to Mark. Instead, the exchange feels repetitive of earlier scenes where social interactions highlight Mark's detachment, missing a chance to evolve the characters or tie into the overarching conflicts, such as the impending legal troubles or Eduardo's growing frustration.
  • Visually, the snowy quad setting maintains the atmospheric consistency of the Harvard environment, providing a nice bookend to the lecture scene in Scene 24. However, the scene could benefit from more dynamic visual elements to enhance engagement; for example, the crowd spilling out could be used to show a wider range of reactions to Mark, emphasizing the viral spread of Facebook in a more cinematic way. As it stands, the visuals are static and descriptive, but they don't fully capitalize on the potential for contrast between the festive post-lecture energy and Mark's understated response, which could better underscore his internal isolation amid external success.
  • The character interactions, particularly the introduction of Stuart, Vikram, and Bob, serve to humanize the supporting cast and inject humor, but their roles feel underdeveloped and opportunistic. Bob's mistake about not recognizing Bill Gates is a clever nod to the lecture, but it doesn't contribute meaningfully to the story or reveal new facets of Mark or Eduardo. Additionally, the mocking dialogue at the end, while funny, borders on caricature, which might alienate viewers if it doesn't align with the script's tone of blending sharp wit with serious drama, potentially making the scene feel like filler rather than a purposeful beat in the narrative.
  • Overall, the scene maintains thematic consistency by illustrating the cultural impact of Facebook through the casual use of 'Facebook me' and Mark's increasing celebrity, but it could be more integrated into the film's exploration of jealousy, betrayal, and the cost of success. The abrupt cut at the end disrupts any potential for closure or buildup, leaving the audience with a humorous but fleeting moment that doesn't fully connect emotionally or thematically to the deposition framing device used elsewhere in the script, which might make this scene feel disconnected in a story that frequently intercuts between past and present.
Suggestions
  • Strengthen the transition from Scene 24 by adding a visual or dialogue cue that directly references the lecture or the girls' invitation, making the 'Facebook me' discussion feel more immediate and tied to the previous action, which could improve narrative flow and emphasize the theme of social connectivity.
  • Incorporate subtext into the dialogue to add depth; for example, have Eduardo's enthusiasm about the invitation subtly reveal his envy of Mark's accidental fame or his own desire for validation, allowing for a more nuanced character moment that foreshadows his later conflicts.
  • Enhance visual storytelling by describing more dynamic crowd reactions or using close-ups on Mark's face to show his discomfort or indifference, which could heighten the contrast between his internal world and external acclaim, making the scene more engaging and thematically resonant.
  • Refine the humor by toning down the exaggerated mocking from Stuart and Vikram, perhaps by making it more understated or reflective of real college dynamics, to maintain realism and ensure it supports character development rather than feeling like cheap comedy.
  • Consider expanding the scene slightly to include a brief moment where Mark reflects on the interaction or connects it to larger stakes, such as the Winklevoss twins' accusations, to make it more integral to the plot and avoid it feeling like isolated filler in a densely packed screenplay.



Scene 26 - Tensions Rise: The Monetization Debate
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
As the door opens and MARK and EDUARDO come into the
overheated warmth of the room.
EDUARDO
It’s time to monetize the thing.
MARK
What were their names?

EDUARDO
Did you hear what I said?
MARK
When?
EDUARDO
I said it’s time to monetize the site.
MARK
What does that mean?
EDUARDO
It means it’s time for the website to
generate revenue.
MARK
No I know what the word means. I’m asking
how do you want to do it?
EDUARDO
Advertising.
MARK
No.
EDUARDO
We’ve got 4000 members.
MARK
‘Cause theFacebook is cool. If we start
installing pop-ups for Mountain Dew it’s
not gonna--
EDUARDO
Well I wasn’t thinking Mountain Dew but
at some point--and I’m talking as the
business end of the company--the site--
MARK
We don’t even know what it is yet. We
don’t know what it is, we don’t know what
it can be, we don’t know what it will be.
We know that it’s cool, that is a
priceless asset I’m not giving it up.
EDUARDO
When will it be finished?
MARK
It won’t be finished, that’s the point.
The way fashion’s never finished.
EDUARDO
What?

MARK
Fashion. Fashion is never finished.
EDUARDO
You’re talking about fashion? Really?
You?
MARK
I’m talking about the idea of it and I’m
saying it’s never finished.
EDUARDO
Okay, but they manage to make money
selling pants...
EDUARDO has seen something on the top of MARK’s mantle...
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
Mark, what is this?
MARK
What.
EDUARDO holds up a letter that’s on a lawyer’s stationary.
EDUARDO
This.
MARK
It’s called a cease and desist letter.
What were their names?
EDUARDO
Who?
MARK
The girls.
EDUARDO’s speed reading the letter.
EDUARDO
When did you get this?
MARK
About 10 days ago. Right after we
launched the site.
EDUARDO
Jesus Christ.
MARK
Hey, the girls. What were their names?
EDUARDO
They’re saying--the Winklevoss twins are
saying you stole their idea.

MARK
I find that to be a little more than
mildly annoying.
EDUARDO
They find it to be intellectual property
theft. Why--
MARK
Look--
EDUARDO
--why didn’t you show this to me?
MARK
It was addressed to me.
EDUARDO
They’re saying we stole theFacebook from
Divya Narendra and the Wink--
MARK
I know what it says.
EDUARDO
(pause)
Did we?
MARK
Did we what?
EDUARDO
Don’t screw around with me now. Look at
me.
MARK looks at EDUARDO--
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
The letter says we could face legal
action.
MARK
No, it says I could face legal action.
EDUARDO
It’s from a lawyer, Mark. They must feel
they have some grounds for--
MARK
The lawyer is their father’s house
counsel.
EDUARDO
Do they have grounds?

MARK
The grounds are our thing is cool and
popular and HarvardConnection is lame.
Wardo, I didn’t use any of their code, I
promise I didn’t use anything. A guy who
builds a really nice chair doesn’t owe
money to everyone who has ever built a
chair. They came to me with an idea, I
had a better one.
EDUARDO
Why didn’t you show me the letter?
MARK
I didn’t think it was a big deal.
EDUARDO
If there’s something wrong--if there’s
ever anything wrong--you can tell me. I’m
the guy that wants to help. This is our
thing.
(pause)
Is there anything you need to tell me?
MARK
No.
EDUARDO
What are we doing about this?
MARK
I went to a 3-L at Student Legal Services
and he told me to write them back.
EDUARDO
What did you say?
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
(reading the letter)
“When we met in January, I expressed my
doubts about the site--where it stood
with graphics, how much programming was
left that I had not anticipated--
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In Mark's overheated dorm room, Eduardo pushes for monetizing Facebook through ads, but Mark vehemently opposes the idea, valuing the site's coolness over revenue. Their discussion escalates when Eduardo discovers a cease and desist letter from the Winklevoss twins, accusing Mark of stealing their idea for HarvardConnection. Eduardo expresses concern over potential legal issues, while Mark downplays the threat, insisting he hasn't used their code. The scene highlights the growing rift in their partnership, with Eduardo feeling sidelined and anxious about the business, contrasted by Mark's dismissive attitude. The tension culminates in a cut to a deposition room, where Mark's past response to the accusation is read aloud.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Revealing character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and reveals crucial information about the characters' motivations and conflicts, driving the plot forward with high stakes and emotional impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of intellectual property theft and the legal implications adds depth to the narrative, introducing a significant conflict that challenges the characters' relationships and decisions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as the characters confront the accusations of theft, leading to a pivotal moment that sets the stage for further developments and intensifies the central conflict.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the tech industry by exploring themes of ownership, innovation, and ethics. The characters' dialogue feels authentic and reflects the complexities of entrepreneurship and legal challenges.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Mark and Eduardo are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their contrasting viewpoints, vulnerabilities, and the strain on their partnership due to the legal threat.

Character Changes: 8

Both Mark and Eduardo experience a shift in their dynamic and trust due to the accusations and legal threat, setting the stage for potential character development and evolving relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to protect his vision and ownership of the website. This reflects his desire for recognition, success, and control over his creation.

External Goal: 7.5

Mark's external goal is to address the legal threat posed by the cease and desist letter. He aims to defend his position and reputation in the face of potential legal action.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving accusations of theft, legal threats, and the strain on the characters' partnership, creating a high-stakes situation with emotional resonance.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing legal threats, ethical dilemmas, and interpersonal conflicts. The uncertainty surrounding the cease and desist letter adds complexity and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as the characters face potential legal action, betrayal, and the threat to their partnership and project, intensifying the conflict and raising the narrative tension.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly advances the story by introducing a crucial conflict, escalating tensions, and setting the characters on a path that will shape future events and decisions.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable as the characters navigate complex legal and ethical issues, keeping the audience uncertain about the outcome. The conflict adds layers of tension and intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around ownership, innovation, and ethics. Mark believes in the value of his idea and the right to improve upon existing concepts, while Eduardo questions the ethical implications of potential intellectual property theft.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly due to the characters' vulnerability, the threat of legal action, and the potential betrayal, heightening the tension and suspense.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and the escalating tension between Mark and Eduardo, driving the conflict and revealing key plot points.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced dialogue, conflict-driven narrative, and high stakes. The audience is drawn into the characters' dilemma and the unfolding legal threat.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic revelation about the cease and desist letter. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, with proper scene descriptions, character cues, and dialogue formatting. It enhances readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format with clear dialogue exchanges and character interactions. It effectively builds tension and conflict, leading to a climactic moment.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension between Mark and Eduardo, highlighting their contrasting personalities—Mark's idealistic focus on innovation versus Eduardo's pragmatic business approach—which mirrors the broader themes of the screenplay, such as ambition, friendship, and the cost of success. This conflict is portrayed through natural, snappy dialogue that reveals character depth, making it easy for the audience to understand their dynamic and foreshadowing future betrayals. However, the dialogue occasionally feels overly expository, particularly when Mark explains the cease and desist letter, which could come across as telling rather than showing, potentially reducing emotional impact and making the scene less cinematic.
  • The use of the overheated room as a setting is a strong visual metaphor for the growing discomfort and tension in their relationship, adding a layer of physicality to the emotional conflict. This enhances immersion and helps the reader visualize the scene, but it could be underutilized; more sensory details, like sweat or stifling air, might amplify the discomfort and make the environment feel more oppressive, thereby intensifying the interpersonal drama. Additionally, the transition to the deposition room at the end is a clever use of the film's non-linear structure, providing context and irony, but it might confuse viewers if not handled with clear visual cues, as it jumps timelines abruptly.
  • Character development is solid here, with Eduardo's concern about the letter showing his loyalty and business acumen, while Mark's dismissive attitude underscores his arrogance and single-mindedness. This helps the audience understand Mark's character arc, but it risks making him too unsympathetic early on, as his responses (e.g., downplaying the letter) lack nuance and could alienate viewers who might see him as recklessly overconfident. Furthermore, Eduardo's line 'This is our thing' is a poignant moment that emphasizes their partnership, but it feels slightly clichéd and could be more subtly integrated to avoid melodrama.
  • Pacing is generally good, with the scene escalating from a casual discussion about monetization to a heated argument about the letter, maintaining engagement. However, the repetition in dialogue—such as Mark repeatedly asking about the girls' names—might slow the momentum and feel redundant, distracting from the core conflict. This could be streamlined to focus more on the emotional stakes, ensuring the scene doesn't linger on minor details that don't advance the plot or character development.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the idea of intellectual property and innovation, tying into the Winklevoss subplot, but it could better connect to the overall narrative by referencing earlier events (e.g., the initial meeting with the twins) to remind the audience of the building legal threat. This would improve continuity and help readers understand how this scene fits into the larger story, but as it stands, it assumes prior knowledge, which might weaken its standalone impact in a screenplay context.
  • Visually and structurally, the scene uses action lines effectively to describe movements and reactions, but there's a missed opportunity to incorporate more visual storytelling, such as showing Mark's body language (e.g., avoiding eye contact) or Eduardo's facial expressions when reading the letter, to convey emotions without relying solely on dialogue. This would make the scene more dynamic and engaging for a film audience, adhering to screenwriting principles of 'show, don't tell'.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to reduce exposition; for example, instead of Mark explicitly explaining the cease and desist letter, have him react defensively through actions or indirect comments, allowing the audience to infer details from context and making the scene more subtle and engaging.
  • Enhance visual elements by adding more descriptive actions and sensory details, such as Mark pacing or wiping sweat from his brow in the hot room, to better illustrate the tension and make the setting an active part of the conflict rather than just a backdrop.
  • Strengthen character empathy by adding a moment of vulnerability for Mark, perhaps a brief hesitation or admission of stress, to balance his arrogance and make his motivations more relatable, preventing him from becoming a one-dimensional antagonist.
  • Improve pacing by cutting redundant lines, like the repeated questions about the girls' names, and focus on tightening the transition between topics (monetization to the letter) to maintain a brisk rhythm and heighten dramatic tension.
  • Incorporate subtle foreshadowing by referencing past events or hinting at future consequences, such as a quick line about the growing user base tying into monetization concerns, to better integrate this scene with the overall narrative and reinforce thematic elements.
  • Experiment with blocking and camera directions in the script to emphasize key moments, such as a close-up on Eduardo's face when he reads the letter, to enhance visual storytelling and reduce reliance on dialogue for emotional conveyance.



Scene 27 - Confrontation in the Deposition Room
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
EDUARDO
(reading the letter)
“--the lack of hardware we had to deal
with, site use, the lack of promotion that
would go on to successfully launch the
website--
CUT TO:
INT. SECOND DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GAGE
This was the first time you raised any of
those concerns, right?
MARK
I’d raised concerns before.
DIVYA/TYLER (NOT CAMERON)
Bullshit./Not to us.
GAGE
(quieting)
Gentlemen.
(back to MARK)
I’m talking about at the meeting in
January to which this letter is
referring.
MARK
Yeah.
GAGE
Let me re-phrase this. You sent my
clients 16 e-mails. In the first 15, you
didn’t raise any concerns.
MARK
(beat)
Is that a question?
GAGE
In the 16th e-mail you raised concerns
about the site’s functionality. Were you
leading them on for six weeks?
MARK
No.
GAGE
Why hadn’t you raised any of these
concerns before?

MARK
(quietly)
It’s raining.
GAGE
I’m sorry?
MARK
It just started raining.
GAGE
Mr. Zuckerberg, do I have your full
attention?
MARK
No.
GAGE
(beat)
Do you think I deserve it?
MARK
What.
GAGE
Do you think I deserve your full
attention?
MARK
I had to swear an oath before we began
this deposition and I don’t want to
perjure myself so I have a legal
obligation to say no.
GAGE
Okay. “No” you don’t think I deserve your
attention.
MARK
I think if your clients want to sit on my
shoulders and call themselves tall they
have a right to give it a try. But
there’s no requirement that I enjoy
sitting here listening to people lie. You
have part of my attention--you have the
minimum amount. The rest of my attention
is back at the offices of Facebook where
my colleagues and I are doing things that
no one in this room, including and
especially your clients, are
intellectually or creatively capable of
doing. Did I adequately answer your
condescending question?
GAGE just looks casually at MARK. MARK doesn’t meet his gaze,
or the looks from DIVYA, TYLER and CAMERON...

SY
(beat)
I’ve got 12:45. Why don’t we say that’s
lunch.
GAGE
Back at 2:30?
Everyone gets up and we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Character Study"]

Summary The scene transitions from Eduardo reading a letter in Mark's dorm room to a tense deposition where lawyer Gage questions Mark Zuckerberg about his delayed concerns regarding the website's functionality. Mark responds evasively and sarcastically, claiming he was focused on his work at Facebook rather than the deposition. The atmosphere is confrontational, with Gage pressing Mark on his honesty, while Divya and Tyler express disbelief at Mark's arrogance. The scene ends with a lunch break announcement, highlighting the unresolved tension.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Tension building
Weaknesses
  • Mark's evasiveness
  • Lack of resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is intense and gripping, with strong dialogue and character dynamics. It effectively builds tension and reveals key aspects of Mark's character.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a legal confrontation in a deposition setting is compelling and well-executed. It delves into the complexities of the legal battle and the characters' motivations.

Plot: 9

The plot revolves around the confrontation between Mark and the lawyers, revealing key information and escalating the conflict. It moves the story forward and adds depth to the characters.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to a deposition setting by focusing on intellectual sparring and power play rather than typical legal procedures. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters, especially Mark Zuckerberg, are well-developed in this scene. Mark's defensive and confrontational nature is effectively portrayed, adding layers to his personality.

Character Changes: 8

Mark's character undergoes a subtle change as he reveals his defensive and confrontational side in the face of questioning. This adds complexity to his personality.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his composure and assert his intelligence and superiority in the face of questioning and accusations. This reflects his need for control, validation of his abilities, and fear of being undermined or belittled.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the deposition process without incriminating himself or damaging his reputation further. He aims to defend his actions and decisions regarding the website's development.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, adding depth to the narrative. The power struggle between Mark and the lawyers creates a tense atmosphere.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenging questions and accusations that test his wit and resolve. The uncertainty of his responses adds to the tension and intrigue.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as Mark faces intense questioning in a legal deposition. The outcome of this confrontation could have significant consequences for the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing key information about the legal battle and the characters' motivations. It escalates the conflict and adds depth to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected responses and revelations from the protagonist, keeping the audience on edge about his true intentions and strategies.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the clash of values between honesty and manipulation, integrity and deception. The protagonist's responses challenge the ethical standards of truthfulness and respect in professional interactions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, defiance, and frustration. The confrontational nature of the dialogue adds to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9.5

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and impactful. It effectively conveys the power dynamics and conflict in the scene, adding depth to the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense dialogue exchanges, power struggles, and the protagonist's defiance. The conflict and suspense hold the audience's attention and create a compelling dynamic.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and intensity. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's impact and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, clearly delineating dialogue, actions, and scene transitions. This clarity enhances the scene's readability and impact.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and reveals character dynamics. The shifts between locations and interactions are well-paced and contribute to the scene's intensity.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension through Mark's evasive and sarcastic responses, highlighting his character flaws and the ongoing legal conflict, which aligns with the script's theme of intellectual arrogance and betrayal. However, the abrupt cut from Eduardo reading the letter in the dorm room to the deposition might confuse viewers if not clearly contextualized, as it jumps between timelines without sufficient transitional clarity, potentially disrupting the narrative flow and making it harder for the audience to track the story's progression.
  • Mark's lengthy monologue about not giving full attention is a strong character-defining moment that showcases his wit and defensiveness, but it risks coming across as overly self-indulgent or preachy, which could alienate viewers if it feels like the writer is editorializing through the character. This scene reinforces Mark's negative traits without much counterbalance, which might make him less relatable or sympathetic, especially in a story that already portrays him critically; balancing this with subtle hints of vulnerability could make the character more nuanced and engaging.
  • The dialogue is sharp and confrontational, effectively conveying the adversarial nature of the deposition, but it lacks visual variety, making the scene feel static and overly reliant on exposition. For instance, the focus on verbal sparring in a confined space limits cinematic opportunities, and elements like the rain outside are mentioned but underutilized, missing a chance to add atmospheric depth or symbolic resonance (e.g., rain as a metaphor for emotional turmoil). This could make the scene less dynamic compared to more visually engaging parts of the script, such as the parties or hacking sequences.
  • Thematically, the scene ties into the script's exploration of theft and deception by revisiting Mark's interactions with the Winklevosses, but it repeats similar conflicts from earlier deposition scenes (e.g., scenes 23 and 26), which might feel redundant if not differentiated enough. This repetition could dilute the impact of the legal drama, and while it emphasizes Mark's consistent personality, it doesn't advance the plot significantly, potentially slowing the pacing in a screenplay that already uses intercutting extensively.
  • The ending with the lunch break announcement feels anticlimactic after Mark's heated outburst, abruptly shifting from high tension to a mundane resolution, which might undercut the emotional weight of the confrontation. This could leave viewers unsatisfied, as it doesn't provide a strong button or transition to the next scene, and in the context of the overall script, it highlights a pattern of scenes ending on procedural notes rather than emotional or narrative climaxes, which might benefit from more varied scene closures to maintain audience engagement.
Suggestions
  • To improve the transition between the dorm room and deposition, add a brief voice-over or a visual cue (e.g., a flash of the letter being read) to clearly link the past and present, ensuring the audience understands the chronological shift and maintaining narrative coherence.
  • Enhance Mark's character depth by incorporating subtle physical actions or facial expressions during his monologue, such as fidgeting or glancing away, to show internal conflict or regret, making him more human and less one-dimensional, which could help balance the critique and make his arrogance more palatable to viewers.
  • Incorporate more visual elements to break up the dialogue-heavy scenes, such as using the rain outside for cutaways or symbolic shots (e.g., rain streaking the window to mirror Mark's emotional state), or showing reactions from other characters like Divya and Tyler to add layers of tension and make the deposition feel more dynamic and cinematic.
  • To avoid repetition, differentiate this deposition scene by focusing on a new angle, such as exploring the personal cost to Mark or introducing a fresh revelation about his motivations, rather than rehashing concerns about the site's functionality; this would advance the plot and keep the legal sequences feeling fresh within the script's structure.
  • Strengthen the scene's ending by extending the aftermath of Mark's outburst, perhaps with a lingering shot of Gage's reaction or a quiet moment where Mark reflects, to provide emotional closure or a hook to the next scene, ensuring the tension doesn't dissipate too quickly and maintaining the script's overall pacing and impact.



Scene 28 - Confrontation and Distraction
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
MARK
So, what were their names?
EDUARDO
(pause)
Their names were Christy and Alice. They
want to have drinks tonight.
CUT TO:
INT. MEN’S ROOM - NIGHT
It’s a nice men’s room--mahogony stalls--in a nice club in
Cambridge. We HEAR the thumping of the house music coming from
the club.
And then one of the wooden stall doors flies open and EDUARDO
is shoved in, followed by CHRISTY, who did the shoving. She’s
all over him as she presses him back against the divider.
EDUARDO’s hands are sliding under CHRISTY’S white shirt and
finding the red bra when they hear a noise.
Someone’s gone into the next stall.
EDUARDO
(whispering)
Shit.
CHRISTY
(whispering)
I don’t care.
CHRISTY keeps him pinned against the divider as she reaches
down and unbuckles his belt.
And then he hears another noise from the stall next door. A
thump against the divider. CHRISTY’s got his fly unzipped.
EDUARDO looks down at the space between the stalls. He sees a
pair of Adidas flip-flops.

Then the sound of moaning. Before EDUARDO has time to say
anything, CHRISTY pulls her shirt open, revealing the red bra,
and puts her hand down his pants as we
CUT TO:
INT. CLUB/MEN’S ROOM - NIGHT
MARK and EDUARDO are standing guard outside the door. They’re
silent but very happy.
A guy comes along to use the men’s room.
EDUARDO
Sorry. It’ll just be a minute. Some girls
are freshening up in there.
CLUB GUY
(nodding a little)
Sweet.
The guy goes off.
EDUARDO taps MARK...
EDUARDO
(beat)
We have groupies.
MARK can’t help a smile. Then he sees something...
MARK
I’ll be right back.
EDUARDO
Mark, where you going?
(beat)
Mark?
MARK makes his way through the crowd toward a round booth. A
girl is sitting there and even though her back is to MARK he
can recognize her. She’s with a girlfriend and three guys.
When he makes it to the booth he says--
MARK
Erica?
ERICA, from the opening scene, turns her head and looks up to
see MARK. She’s looking sexy for her Friday night on the town
and the three guys she’s with are studs. A few more friends of
theirs are standing around at the edges of the booth.
ERICA
(pause)
Hi.

MARK
I saw you from over there. I didn’t know
you came to this club a lot.
ERICA
First time.
MARK
Mine too. Could I talk to you alone for a
second?
ERICA
I think I’m good right here.
MARK
I just--I’d love to talk to you alone. If
we could just go someplace--
ERICA
Right here’s fine.
MARK is aware of everyone else around the booth...
MARK
(beat)
I don’t know if you heard about this new
website I launched.
ERICA
No.
MARK
TheFacebook?
ERICA
You called me a bitch on the internet,
Mark.
MARK
That’s why I wanted to talk to you. If we
could just--
ERICA
On the internet.
MARK
That’s why I came over.
ERICA
Comparing women to farm animals?
MARK
I didn’t end up doing that.

ERICA
It didn’t stop you from writing it. As if
every thought that tumbles through your
head is so clever it would be a crime for
it not to be shared. The internet’s not
written in pencil, Mark, it’s written in
ink and you published that Erica Albright
was a bitch right before you made some
ignorant crack about my family’s name, my
bra size and then rated women based on
their “hotness”.
REGGIE (A FRIEND OF ERICA’S)
Erica, is there a problem?
ERICA
No, there’s no problem.
(pause)
You write your snide bullshit from a dark
room because that’s what the angry do
nowadays. I was nice to you. Don’t
torture me for it.
MARK glances at the table of Erica’s friends--
MARK
(pause)
If we could just go somewhere for a
minute--
ERICA
No, I don’t want to be rude to my
friends.
MARK
Okay.
ERICA
Okay. Good luck with your video game.
It was an honest mistake on ERICA’s part but a kidney punch to
MARK.
MARK turns and goes and sees that EDUARDO has been standing
and watching from a distance with CHRISTY.
EDUARDO
Hey, that was great. That was the right
thing to do. You apologized, right?
MARK
(ignoring him)
We have to expand.
EDUARDO
(over the music)
What?

And MARK heads out the door.
EDUARDO watches MARK and then looks back at the girls...
ALICE
Is he mad about something?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In Mark's dorm room, he learns from Eduardo about two girls, Christy and Alice, who want to meet up at a club. At the club, Eduardo has a flirtatious encounter with Christy in the men's room, interrupted by noises from Mark. Meanwhile, Mark confronts Erica, who accuses him of insulting her online. Despite his attempts to apologize, Erica rebuffs him, highlighting the lasting impact of his words. Feeling hurt, Mark leaves the club, suggesting to Eduardo they need to expand their website, while Eduardo stays with Christy and Alice.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of resolution
  • Limited external context

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys tension, emotion, and character dynamics, with strong dialogue and impactful interactions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the consequences of online behavior and the complexities of personal interactions is well-developed and engaging.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene revolves around the confrontation between Mark and Erica, adding depth to their characters and advancing the narrative.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on interpersonal conflicts and communication breakdowns, showcasing authentic character reactions and emotional depth. The authenticity of the dialogue and character interactions adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Mark and Erica are well-defined, with their conflicting personalities and motivations driving the emotional impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both Mark and Erica experience emotional shifts during the confrontation, leading to potential character growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to reconcile with Erica and make amends for his past actions. This reflects his desire for redemption, understanding, and possibly a longing for connection.

External Goal: 7

Mark's external goal is to expand his project or venture, as mentioned in the dialogue with Eduardo. This reflects his ambition and drive for success in the business or academic realm.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Mark and Erica is intense and drives the emotional core of the scene, adding depth to their relationship dynamics.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, primarily stemming from Erica's confrontational stance towards Mark, creating a challenging and uncertain dynamic that keeps the audience engaged.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as personal relationships and reputations are at risk due to the confrontation and its consequences.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the conflict between characters and setting up potential future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its emotional twists and turns, especially in Erica's unexpected reactions and Mark's attempts at reconciliation, adding depth to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around Mark's past behavior on social media and Erica's response to it. It challenges Mark's values, ethics, and understanding of relationships and communication.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, regret, and personal conflict.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, emotional, and impactful, effectively conveying the tension and conflict between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense emotional conflicts, dynamic character interactions, and the unfolding drama between Mark and Erica, keeping the audience invested in the unfolding events.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional stakes, allowing for impactful character moments and dialogue exchanges to resonate with the audience.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for the genre, clearly delineating the different settings and character actions for visual clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively transitions between locations and character interactions, maintaining a coherent flow and pacing.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the contrast between social interactions and isolation, mirroring the film's central themes of connectivity and alienation. The intercutting between Eduardo's intimate encounter and Mark's confrontation with Erica highlights Mark's social awkwardness and the consequences of his past actions, providing a strong emotional beat that advances character development and plot.
  • However, the men's room sequence feels somewhat gratuitous and stereotypical, relying on clichéd depictions of college hookups that may undermine the scene's deeper emotional stakes. This could distract from the more substantive conflict with Erica, making the humor feel forced and less integrated with the overall narrative tone.
  • The dialogue, particularly Erica's confrontation, is sharp and revealing, effectively revisiting themes from the opening scene to show character growth (or lack thereof) in Mark. Yet, it risks repetition, as the audience may already be familiar with Mark's insensitive online behavior, potentially reducing the impact and making the exchange feel redundant without introducing new layers or insights.
  • Pacing issues arise from the abrupt transitions and multiple location cuts within a short scene. The shift from the dorm room to the club, and then to various points within the club, can feel disjointed, disrupting the flow and making it harder for the audience to stay engaged with the emotional core.
  • Visually, the scene uses the club environment well to contrast the public and private spheres, but the men's room action lacks subtlety, which might alienate viewers seeking a more nuanced exploration of relationships. Additionally, the character of Christy is underdeveloped here, serving primarily as a prop for Eduardo's subplot without contributing meaningfully to the scene's themes or advancing her own arc.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces Mark's drive to expand Facebook as a response to rejection, which is a clever narrative device, but it could be more organically tied to his emotional state. The decision to 'expand' feels tacked on at the end, lacking sufficient buildup or internal motivation, which diminishes its impact as a pivotal moment.
  • Overall, while the scene succeeds in building tension and humor, it occasionally sacrifices depth for shock value, and the balance between comedic and dramatic elements could be refined to better serve the story's exploration of ambition, friendship, and the digital age's social ramifications.
Suggestions
  • Smooth the transitions between scenes by adding bridging elements, such as a brief establishing shot or a line of dialogue that connects the dorm room discussion to the club arrival, to improve flow and reduce confusion.
  • Refine the men's room sequence to focus more on emotional intimacy and less on physical explicitness, perhaps by emphasizing Eduardo's discomfort or excitement through facial expressions and subtler sounds, to maintain humor without overshadowing the scene's core conflicts.
  • Add layers to Erica's confrontation by incorporating new details or references to how Mark's actions have affected her life beyond the initial insult, making the dialogue fresher and more impactful while avoiding repetition from earlier scenes.
  • Enhance Mark's character depth by including visual or internal cues (e.g., a close-up of his face showing regret or determination) during key moments, such as after Erica's rejection, to make his decision to expand the website feel more motivated and less abrupt.
  • Develop secondary characters like Christy and Alice by giving them brief, meaningful interactions that tie into the themes of social networking, such as commenting on their own experiences with online profiles, to make their presence more integral to the scene.
  • Tighten the pacing by consolidating some of the cuts or shortening the men's room segment, ensuring that each part of the scene propels the story forward and maintains a consistent emotional rhythm.
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue, especially in Mark and Eduardo's exchanges, to convey underlying tensions (e.g., jealousy or ambition) indirectly, making the interactions more cinematic and allowing the audience to infer character motivations without explicit statements.



Scene 29 - Expansion Plans and Power Dynamics
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
The door closes behind DUSTIN MOSKOVITZ and CHRIS HUGHES. MARK
and EDUARDO are waiting and CHRISTY and ALICE are sitting on
the couch. Everyone’s got a beer.
Once the door is closed--
MARK
We’re expanding to Yale and Columbia.
Dustin, I want you to share the coding
work with me. Chris, you’re going to be
in charge of publicity and outreach and
you can start by getting a story in the
B.U. student newspaper. The Bridge.
CHRIS
They hate doing stories about Harvard.
MARK
Somebody at the newspaper will be a
computer science major. Tell ‘em Mark
Zuckerberg will do 10 hours of free
programming.
EDUARDO
Why do you want a story in the B.U. newsp--
MARK
Because I do. Here’s the arrangement.
Eduardo is CFO and owns 30% of the
company. Dustin is Vice President and
Head of Programming and his 5% of the
company will come from my end. Chris is
Director of Publicity and his
compensation will depend on the amount of
work he ends up doing. Any questions?
DUSTIN
Who are the girls?
EDUARDO
Christy and Alice.
DUSTIN
Hi.

CHRISTY
Hi.
ALICE
Hello.
CHRIS
Hi.
CHRISTY
Is there anything we can do?
MARK
No. That’s it. Yale and Columbia, let’s
go.
EDUARDO
And Stanford.
MARK
What?
EDUARDO
Stanford. It’s time for them to see this
in Palo Alto.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Business"]

Summary In Mark's dorm room, he announces the expansion of their project to Yale and Columbia, assigning roles to his friends. Mark designates Eduardo as CFO, Dustin as Head of Programming, and Chris to handle publicity, despite skepticism about their chosen newspaper. As Mark dominates the conversation, Eduardo suggests adding Stanford to the expansion, surprising Mark and leaving the discussion unresolved. The scene highlights Mark's controlling nature and the group's dynamics.
Strengths
  • Clear business decision-making process
  • Effective dialogue and character interactions
  • Strategic plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Subdued conflict intensity

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively introduces a pivotal moment in the story where the characters make significant decisions regarding business expansion. It sets the stage for growth and development while maintaining a serious and innovative tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of expanding the business to new locations is crucial for the plot development and character growth. It introduces a new dimension to the story and sets the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly through the decision to expand the business, adding complexity and depth to the narrative. It propels the story forward and sets the characters on a new trajectory.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on startup culture and entrepreneurship, blending elements of ambition, negotiation, and strategic planning in a collegiate setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and dynamic, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined in their roles and responsibilities, showcasing their individual strengths and contributions to the business. The scene highlights their dynamic interactions and decision-making processes.

Character Changes: 7

The scene sets the stage for potential character changes as the business expands, leading to new challenges and opportunities. The decisions made in this scene could impact the characters' development in the future.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal in this scene is to assert his leadership and vision for the company, showcasing his strategic thinking and determination to expand the business. This reflects his need for control, recognition, and success.

External Goal: 7.5

Mark's external goal is to delegate responsibilities to his friends for the company's expansion to other universities and to secure publicity for their venture. This goal reflects the immediate need to establish a presence in new markets and attract attention to their startup.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is tension in the scene regarding the business decisions, the conflict is more subdued compared to other scenes in the screenplay. The focus is on strategic planning and growth rather than intense interpersonal conflicts.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene comes from the characters' differing perspectives and reactions to Mark's leadership decisions, creating a subtle tension and uncertainty about how they will navigate the challenges ahead.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high in terms of business success and the impact of expansion on the characters' relationships and future prospects. The decisions made in this scene could have significant consequences for the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a key business expansion plan. It lays the groundwork for future plot developments and character arcs, driving the narrative towards new challenges and growth.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected delegation of roles and responsibilities, the competitive edge in securing publicity, and the introduction of new university expansions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around Mark's assertiveness and his friends' willingness to follow his lead. It challenges the values of teamwork, autonomy, and individual contribution within the startup dynamic.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact of the scene is moderate, with a focus on business decisions and expansion rather than deep emotional moments. The characters' reactions are more driven by professional considerations.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging and serves the purpose of conveying important business decisions and character dynamics. It effectively communicates the motivations and intentions of each character involved.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic character interactions, the strategic decisions being made, and the sense of ambition and competition driving the dialogue.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum as Mark makes strategic decisions and delegates tasks, enhancing the overall effectiveness of the dialogue and character dynamics.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to standard screenplay conventions, making the scene easy to follow and visualize for readers and potential viewers.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format typical of dialogue-driven screenplay scenes, effectively conveying the characters' interactions and the progression of the plot.


Critique
  • This scene effectively continues the momentum from the previous scene by immediately addressing Mark's decision to expand the website, which stems from his emotional turmoil with Erica. It highlights Mark's growing assertiveness and control, reinforcing his character arc as a driven but socially awkward entrepreneur. However, the scene feels somewhat mechanical and expository, functioning more as a plot device to assign roles and advance the story rather than delving into character development or emotional depth. The rapid delivery of information—Mark announcing expansions and roles without pause—makes the dialogue feel scripted and less natural, potentially alienating the audience by prioritizing exposition over authentic interaction.
  • The inclusion of Christy and Alice adds a layer of social dynamics, contrasting the business-focused discussion, but their presence is underdeveloped and underutilized. Christy's offer to help and the brief greetings come across as filler, not contributing significantly to the scene's conflict or themes. This could reinforce the theme of Mark's prioritization of work over personal relationships, but it lacks subtlety, making the characters feel like props rather than integral parts of the narrative. Additionally, the awkward introduction ('Who are the girls?') disrupts the flow and highlights a missed opportunity to integrate them more meaningfully or use their presence to heighten tension, especially given Eduardo's recent personal distractions.
  • Pacing is brisk, which suits the scene's purpose of showing rapid decision-making in a startup environment, but it sacrifices opportunities for tension or character revelation. For instance, Eduardo's interruption when questioning the B.U. newspaper choice is a subtle nod to underlying friction in their partnership, but it's quickly shut down, preventing deeper exploration of their relationship dynamics. This could build toward future conflicts, but the scene cuts away too soon, leaving the suggestion of Stanford as an abrupt hook that feels tacked on rather than earned. Overall, while the scene maintains thematic consistency with ambition and exclusion, it doesn't fully capitalize on the emotional carryover from Scene 28, where Mark is upset, making his demeanor here seem inconsistently detached.
  • Visually and structurally, the scene is straightforward, with clear blocking (e.g., characters entering and closing the door, sitting with beers), but it lacks vivid details that could enhance engagement. The setting in Mark's dorm room is familiar and reinforces isolation, yet there's little use of visual elements to convey subtext, such as body language or reactions that could show growing resentment or excitement. The dialogue, while efficient, is tell-heavy (e.g., Mark explicitly stating ownership percentages and roles), which might work in a fast-paced tech drama but could benefit from more show-don't-tell techniques to make the scene more cinematic and less reliant on direct exposition.
  • In the context of the overall screenplay, this scene serves as a transitional beat, setting up future expansions and hinting at interpersonal tensions, but it doesn't stand alone as a strong dramatic unit. The cut at the end to Eduardo's Stanford suggestion introduces a new idea without resolution, which is effective for cliffhanging but feels rushed. Critically, the scene could better balance the business aspects with personal stakes, especially since the script often intercuts between past and present depositions to add depth—here, incorporating a brief reflection or reaction could tie into the legal ramifications explored later, making the critique more comprehensive for both writer and reader.
Suggestions
  • Start the scene with a brief moment showing Mark's emotional state from Scene 28, such as him pacing or making a frustrated comment about Erica, to create a smoother emotional transition and add depth to his character before diving into business talk.
  • Develop the dialogue to be more conversational and less expository; for example, have Mark propose the expansion as a question or idea for discussion, allowing other characters like Dustin or Chris to react or contribute, which could reveal more about their personalities and build natural conflict.
  • Give Christy and Alice a more active role or clearer purpose; perhaps have Christy comment on the business decisions in a way that ties into Eduardo's social life, or remove them if they're not essential, to avoid unnecessary elements and focus on core conflicts.
  • Extend the scene slightly to explore reactions to key announcements, such as Eduardo's frustration with being interrupted or his Stanford suggestion, by adding a short exchange that foreshadows their deteriorating relationship, making the scene more dynamic and emotionally resonant.
  • Incorporate visual storytelling elements, like Mark writing the expansion plans on a whiteboard or characters' body language showing discomfort, to 'show' rather than 'tell' the assignments and decisions, enhancing the cinematic quality and engaging the audience more effectively.



Scene 30 - Awkward Engagement
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
MARK is sitting alone in the now empty room. There’s a
computer on a table in the corner and MARK makes a few
keystrokes and then reads the screen.
MARYLIN, the young lawyer we met early on, comes in with a
plastic salad container in her hand and sits at the far end of
the table from MARK, who doesn’t acknowledge her.
MARYLIN
(after a moment)
You don’t want any lunch?
MARK
(beat)
No.
MARYLIN
You’re welcome to some salad.
MARK
No thank you.
MARYLIN
This must be hard.
MARK
Who are you?

MARYLIN
I’m Marylin Delpy, I introduced myself--
MARK
I mean what do you do?
MARYLIN
I’m a second year associate at the firm.
My boss wanted me to sit in on the
deposition phase.
MARK nods...
MARYLIN (CONT’D)
What are you doing?
MARK
Checking in to see how it’s going in
Bosnia.
MARYLIN
Bosnia?
MARK nods...
MARYLIN (CONT’D)
They don’t have roads but they have
Facebook?
MARK nods...
MARYLIN (CONT’D)
You must really hate the Winklevoss’s.
MARK
I don’t hate anybody.
(pause)
The Winklevi aren’t suing me for
intellectual property theft. They’re
suing me because for the first time in
their lives, things didn’t work out the
way they were supposed to for them.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Character Study"]

Summary In a deposition room, Mark is absorbed in his computer work when Marylin, a young lawyer, enters and attempts to engage him in conversation while offering lunch. Despite her friendly demeanor, Mark remains distant and curt, revealing his defensive nature as he discusses the lawsuit with the Winklevoss twins. The scene highlights the tension between Marylin's attempts at empathy and Mark's reluctance to connect, ending with a cut to another scene.
Strengths
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Revealing character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys tension and conflict through dialogue and character dynamics, providing insight into the characters' motivations and attitudes.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring legal disputes and personal conflicts through a deposition setting is engaging and well-executed.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progression in the scene is significant as it delves into the legal battle and personal motivations of the characters, moving the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on legal conflicts by delving into the psychological motivations behind the characters' actions. The authenticity of the dialogue and character dynamics enhances the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations that drive the conflict in the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it further solidifies the established traits and motivations of the characters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain his composure and assert his perspective despite the challenging situation he is in. This reflects his need for control and his desire to be understood.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to handle the legal proceedings and defend himself against the accusations. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in the deposition.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with tensions running high between the characters, especially Mark and the lawyers.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong as the characters engage in a battle of wits and conflicting ideologies, keeping the audience uncertain about the outcome.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters navigate a legal battle that could have significant consequences for their futures.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by providing crucial information about the legal battle and the characters' perspectives.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations about the characters' true intentions and the shifting power dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's belief in meritocracy and the idea that success should be earned versus the entitlement of the Winklevoss twins. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, defiance, and frustration, adding depth to the characters' portrayals.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, tense, and revealing, effectively conveying the characters' emotions and intentions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the subtle power play between the characters, the underlying tension, and the revelations about the protagonist's motivations.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and allows for moments of reflection, enhancing the emotional impact of the dialogue exchanges.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard screenplay format for dialogue-driven scenes, making it easy to follow and visualize.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-driven sequence in a legal drama, effectively building tension and revealing character dynamics.


Critique
  • This scene effectively highlights Mark Zuckerberg's character traits—his intense focus on work, social awkwardness, and defensive arrogance—through his interactions with Marylin. It provides a moment of introspection amidst the high-stakes depositions, emphasizing Mark's isolation and obsession with Facebook, which is a recurring theme in the screenplay. However, the scene feels somewhat redundant if similar moments of Mark's detachment have been shown earlier, as it doesn't significantly advance the plot or reveal new information about his character beyond what's already established. The dialogue, while concise and revealing, lacks depth in Marylin's character; she serves primarily as a catalyst for Mark's exposition, making her feel like a plot device rather than a fully fleshed-out individual, which could undermine the scene's emotional authenticity.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the contrast between Facebook's global reach (e.g., its presence in Bosnia) and Mark's personal failures, such as his strained relationships and legal troubles. This juxtaposition is poignant and ties into the broader narrative of ambition's cost, but it could be more impactful if it delved deeper into how Mark's success exacerbates his isolation, perhaps by showing visual cues of his exhaustion or the stark, impersonal deposition room environment. Additionally, the transition from the previous scene (which ends on a business discussion in Mark's dorm room) to this deposition feels abrupt, potentially disrupting the flow; the screenplay often uses cuts between past and present, but here it might confuse audiences if not clearly contextualized, as the shift from energetic planning to a quiet, reflective moment lacks a strong connective thread.
  • Pacing-wise, the scene is brief and serves as a palate cleanser between more confrontational deposition sequences, allowing for a build-up of tension. However, its slow, dialogue-heavy nature might drag in a film adaptation, especially if the audience is eager for more action or resolution in the legal proceedings. The visual elements are minimal, with Mark interacting with the computer and Marylin entering with a salad, which underscores his disconnection from everyday social norms, but it could benefit from more dynamic cinematography, such as close-ups on Mark's face during his evasive responses or wider shots to emphasize the emptiness of the room, to better convey his emotional state and the scene's isolating atmosphere.
  • In terms of dialogue, Mark's lines are sharp and characteristic, revealing his intellect and hubris, but they border on being too expository, particularly when he explains the lawsuit's true nature. This could come across as telling rather than showing, reducing the subtlety that makes great screenwriting compelling. Marylin's attempts to engage feel forced and stereotypical, positioning her as a sounding board without her own agency, which might alienate viewers who expect more balanced interactions. Overall, while the scene humanizes Mark and provides insight into his mindset, it risks feeling like filler if it doesn't contribute uniquely to the character arc or plot progression, especially in a densely packed screenplay like this one.
  • The scene's end, with a cut to another part, maintains the screenplay's non-linear structure, but it doesn't build to a strong cliffhanger or emotional beat, making it somewhat forgettable. Compared to more dynamic scenes involving confrontations or revelations, this one lacks high stakes, which could make it less engaging. Additionally, the humor in Mark's sarcasm is subtle but effective, yet it might not land as well if the audience isn't fully invested in his character by this point in the story.
Suggestions
  • Add more visual depth to the scene by incorporating subtle actions or details, such as Mark's hands trembling slightly while typing or a reflection in the computer screen showing his weary expression, to enhance the emotional undercurrent and make the scene more cinematic without relying solely on dialogue.
  • Develop Marylin's character further by giving her a personal stake or backstory element in the conversation, such as mentioning her own experiences with social media or legal battles, to create a more reciprocal dialogue and add layers to their interaction, making it feel less one-sided and more engaging.
  • Strengthen the thematic connections by expanding on the Bosnia reference; for example, have Mark briefly explain why he's checking on it (e.g., monitoring user growth or a specific feature test), which could tie into the larger narrative of Facebook's global impact and Mark's relentless drive, providing a smoother transition from past events.
  • Refine the dialogue to include more subtext and nuance; instead of Mark directly stating why he's being sued, show his frustration through indirect comments or physical cues, allowing the audience to infer his emotions and making the exposition feel more organic and less didactic.
  • Improve pacing by shortening the scene or integrating it more tightly with adjacent scenes; for instance, end on a stronger note, like Mark refreshing the Facebook page (foreshadowing the final scene), to create a sense of continuity and build anticipation for the next part of the deposition or flashback sequence.



Scene 31 - Legal Maneuvers in the Dorm
INT. TYLER AND CAMERON’S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
TYLER and CAMERON are both studying when DIVYA busts in.
DIVYA
He’s expanding.
TYLER
What?

DIVYA
He’s expanding to Yale, Columbia and
Stanford, it’ll be in the Crimson
tomorrow.
TYLER
(beat)
Really.
DIVYA
Yeah.
TYLER
So that Cease and Desist letter really
scared the shit out of him, huh?
DIVYA
I want to hire a lawyer to file for
injunctive relief and get this website
taken down now!
CAMERON
Look--
DIVYA
Every minute the site is up, Harvard
Connection becomes less valuable. I want
an injunction, I want damages, I want
punitive relief and I want him dead.
CAMERON
I want those things too!
DIVYA
Then why aren’t we doing anything about
it?! Because we’re gentlemen of Harvard?!
CAMERON
Because you’re not thinking about how
it’ll look.
DIVYA
How’ll it look?
CAMERON
Like my brother and I are in skeleton
costumes chasing the Karate Kid around a
high school gym.
DIVYA
He’s violated Massachusetts state law.
When he goes to Connecticut, New York and
California he’ll have violated federal
law. And by the way, he’s in violation of
Harvard law.
CAMERON
There’s no such thing as Harvard Law.

TYLER
(pause--realizing)
Wait. Yes there is.
TYLER goes to the bookshelf and pulls down a manual.
TYLER (CONT’D)
Harvard Student Handbook. Every freshman
is issued one of these. Somewhere in this
book it says--
CAMERON
(eureka)
--you can’t steal from another student.
This is what we needed. We’re going to
Summers.
DIVYA
You can’t get a meeting with Larry
Summers.
CAMERON
My brother and I pay tuition at this
school, we carry a 3.9 GPA at this
school, we’ve won trophies for this
school and we’ll be rowing in the
Olympics for this school. I want a
meeting with the goddam president of this
school.
(pause)
Why Stanford?
DIVYA
Why do you think?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In a tense night scene in their Harvard dorm, Tyler and Cameron are interrupted by Divya, who reveals that Mark Zuckerberg is expanding his website to other prestigious universities. Divya demands immediate legal action against Zuckerberg, while Cameron cautions against the potential negative fallout of such aggression. Tyler suggests referencing the Harvard Student Handbook to report the issue to the university president, leading to a consensus to pursue this institutional route. The scene ends with Cameron questioning the inclusion of Stanford in the expansion, hinting at deeper implications.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Compelling dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and conflict through the characters' strong emotions and differing perspectives, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the unfolding drama.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of legal and ethical challenges in the face of intellectual property theft is effectively explored, adding depth and complexity to the characters' motivations.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as the characters grapple with the decision to take legal action against the theft of their website idea, setting the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on legal and academic conflicts within a college setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, offering a unique perspective on ambition and rivalry.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' strong personalities and conflicting viewpoints drive the scene's tension and drama, showcasing their individual motivations and values.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional and moral shifts as they grapple with the decision to take legal action, revealing new facets of their personalities and values.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert their power and influence in the face of a threat to their reputation and accomplishments. This reflects their need for validation, recognition, and control in their academic and social environment.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to take legal action against a perceived violation of laws and protect their interests. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining their status and authority in the academic community.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, driven by the characters' opposing viewpoints, escalating tensions, and high stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and goals among the characters. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding suspense and complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of legal action, moral integrity, and personal reputation add urgency and tension to the scene, raising the consequences of the characters' decisions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly advances the plot by introducing legal challenges and ethical dilemmas, setting the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' unexpected reactions and shifting power dynamics. The audience is kept on edge as the situation escalates, creating suspense and intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the characters' differing approaches to handling the situation. Divya is driven by a sense of urgency and aggression, while Cameron emphasizes the importance of appearances and strategy. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about justice, power, and reputation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions from the characters and the audience, drawing them into the moral and ethical dilemmas faced by the protagonists.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, intentions, and conflicts, adding depth and authenticity to their interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, witty dialogue, and intense character dynamics. The conflict and urgency drive the narrative forward, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments and character interactions. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's effectiveness and maintains the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, making the scene easy to follow and visualize. The scene directions are clear, and the dialogue is properly formatted, enhancing the overall readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and conflict. The dialogue is well-paced, and the interactions between characters flow naturally, contributing to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively escalates the conflict by showing the Winklevoss twins and Divya reacting to Mark's expansion of Facebook, which reinforces their sense of betrayal and urgency. However, it feels somewhat one-dimensional in portraying the antagonists, as their dialogue and actions are heavily focused on revenge without delving deeper into their personal stakes or emotional layers. For instance, Divya's line 'I want him dead' is overly dramatic and clichéd, which might alienate readers or viewers by making the characters seem cartoonish rather than nuanced, especially in a film that explores themes of ambition and social hierarchy. This lack of subtlety could make the scene less engaging for audiences who are already familiar with the historical context, as it doesn't provide new insights into why these characters are driven to this point beyond surface-level frustration.
  • Pacing-wise, the scene moves quickly from Divya's entrance to the decision to approach Harvard President Summers, which can feel rushed and expository. While this brevity might be intentional to maintain momentum in a fast-paced screenplay, it sacrifices opportunities for building tension or showing character development. For example, Tyler's realization about the Harvard Student Handbook comes across as a convenient plot device rather than a organic moment, and Cameron's cautionary metaphor about chasing the Karate Kid feels forced and not fully integrated with the characters' rowing background, which could have been used to make the dialogue more authentic and thematic. This rapid resolution might undermine the emotional weight of their decision, making it less impactful in the context of the overall story arc.
  • Visually, the scene is underwritten, with minimal description beyond the dialogue, which is a missed opportunity in screenwriting to utilize the medium's strengths. The setting in a dorm room at night could be more vividly depicted to contrast with the high-stakes conversation—perhaps showing cluttered study materials, tense body language, or external sounds to heighten the atmosphere—but it's largely static. This could make the scene feel less cinematic and more like a stage play, reducing its ability to immerse the audience. Additionally, the transition from the previous deposition scene (where Mark is sarcastic and defensive) to this one is abrupt, potentially disrupting the narrative flow and missing a chance to draw parallels between Mark's arrogance and the twins' frustration, which could strengthen thematic cohesion.
  • In terms of character dynamics, the scene highlights Divya's aggressiveness and Cameron's restraint, but Tyler's role feels underdeveloped; his 'eureka' moment is pivotal but lacks buildup, making him seem reactive rather than proactive. This could reinforce the perception of the twins as privileged but ineffective antagonists, which might not serve the story if the goal is to make them sympathetic or complex. Furthermore, the ending line about Stanford adds a hook, but it's vague and could be clarified to better connect to the broader plot, helping readers understand its significance without relying on external knowledge. Overall, while the scene advances the plot, it doesn't fully capitalize on the emotional or thematic depth available, potentially leaving viewers with a superficial understanding of the characters' motivations.
Suggestions
  • Add more visual and action elements to make the scene more dynamic; for example, describe Tyler pacing or slamming a book shut to show frustration, or use close-ups on their faces during key lines to build tension and make the scene more cinematic.
  • Refine the dialogue to be less on-the-nose and more character-specific; incorporate rowing metaphors or references to their elite background to make Cameron's caution feel more authentic, and tone down Divya's extreme language to something more nuanced, like expressing how the theft devalues their hard work, to increase emotional resonance.
  • Slow down the pacing slightly by adding a moment of silence or a brief exchange that builds to Tyler's realization about the handbook, allowing for more character development and making the decision to approach Summers feel more earned and dramatic.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by drawing parallels to earlier scenes, such as referencing the exclusivity of final clubs or Mark's social awkwardness, to remind viewers of the larger conflicts and make the antagonists' actions feel more connected to the story's core themes.
  • Clarify the Stanford reference at the end by adding a line or visual cue that hints at its strategic importance (e.g., Divya mentioning Silicon Valley's tech scene), ensuring it serves as a smooth transition and maintains narrative momentum without confusion.



Scene 32 - A Morning of Surprises
INT. A GIRL’S COLLEGE APARTMENT (PALO ALTO) - MORNING
A pretty 20 year-old co-ed, AMY, pulls a curtain open and the
darkened room immediately fills with un-welcomed sunlight.
AMY’s wearing nothing but a Stanford sweatshirt as a skinny 22
year-old guy who’s lying on her futon wakes up. There’s other
evidence on the walls that we’re at Stanford University. There
are also pieces of AMY’s clothing strewn about.
The young man on the futon is SEAN PARKER.
AMY
I’m sorry, I’m late for Bio-Chem.
SEAN
Okay.
AMY
You don’t know my name, do you?

SEAN
(off the sweatshirt)
Is it Stanford?
AMY
I should just kick your ass. How can you
go to a party, meet--
SEAN
Amelia Ritter but you prefer Amy. You’re
from Orinda, your father’s in commercial
real estate and your mother’s 10 years
sober.
AMY
(beat)
What’s my major?
SEAN
Trombone.
AMY
Really?
SEAN
I remember something about a trombone.
AMY
Tu fais l'amour à la jolie fille et la
mets de côté.
SEAN
French! Your major is French.
AMY
Oui. And yours?
SEAN
Mine? I don’t have one.
AMY
You haven’t declared?
SEAN
I don’t go to school.
AMY
You’re kidding?
SEAN
No.
AMY
Where did you go to school?

SEAN
William Taft Elementary for a little
while.
AMY
Seriously, you’re not like 15 years old
or anything are you?
SEAN
No.
(beat)
You’re not like--
AMY
No. So what do you do?
SEAN
I’m an entrepreneur.
AMY
You’re unemployed.
SEAN
I wouldn’t say that.
AMY
What would you say?
SEAN
That I’m an entrepreneur.
AMY
What was your latest preneur?
SEAN
Well...I founded an internet company that
let folks download and share music for
free.
AMY
Kind of like Napster?
SEAN
Exactly like Napster.
AMY
What do you mean?
SEAN
I founded Napster.
AMY
Sean Parker founded Napster.
SEAN
Nice to meet you.

AMY
(pause)
You’re Sean Parker?
SEAN
Ah ha. The shoe’s on the other...
AMY
Foot?
SEAN
--table which has turned.
AMY
I just slept with Sean Parker?
SEAN
You just slept on Sean Parker.
AMY
You’re a zillionaire.
SEAN
Not technically.
AMY
What are you?
SEAN
Broke. There’s not a lot of money in free
music. Even less when you’re being sued
by everyone who’s ever been to the
Grammys.
AMY
This is blowing my mind.
SEAN
I appreciate that.
AMY
I have to hop in the shower and get ready
for class.
SEAN
Bio-chem, even though you’re a French
major whose name is Amy.
AMY
You passed.
SEAN
I’m a hard worker.
AMY
There’s juice or anything else you can
find. Help yourself.

SEAN
You mind if I check my e-mail?
AMY
Go ahead.
AMY heads into the bathroom but leaves the door a little ajar.
SEAN steps over to AMY’s pink laptop and hits a key to wake it
out of sleep mode.
The shower starts running in the bathroom.
The laptop springs to life and is open to something SEAN’s
never seen before--a Facebook page.
He sees AMY’s picture and a short profile: Her major at
Stanford, courses she’s taking, books she likes, clubs she’s a
member of...
SEAN
(calling)
Amy?
She can’t hear him in the shower.
SEAN explores around a little more. He knows his way around a
computer. He sees her “friends”. Friend after friend after
friend.
SEAN (CONT’D)
(almost a whisper)
Jesus.
He gets up and goes to the bathroom door--
SEAN (CONT’D)
Amy?
AMY
(calling back)
Yeah!
SEAN
Can you come out here?
AMY
(calling)
Just a second!
SEAN tries to wait but can’t--
SEAN
There’s a snake in here, Amy.
AMY
What?!

AMY grabs a towel and jumps out of the shower--
AMY (CONT’D)
Where?!
SEAN
There isn’t a snake, but I need to ask
you something.
AMY
Are you kidding me?! I could have been
killed!
SEAN
(beat)
How?
AMY
(beat--not sure)
By running too fast...and getting twisted
in the curtain--What do you need to ask
me?
SEAN
I went to check my e-mail and there’s a
site open on your computer.
AMY
After you passed out last night I went on
theFacebook for a little bit.
SEAN
What’s that?
AMY
TheFacebook? Stanford’s had it for like
two weeks now it’s really awesome except
it’s freakishly addictive. Seriously, I’m
on the thing like five times a day.
SEAN
You mind if I grab a piece of paper and a
pen?
AMY
Is everything okay?
SEAN
Everything’s great. I just need to find
you, Mark Zuckerberg.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In a girl's college apartment in Palo Alto, Amy, a Stanford student, wakes up late and finds Sean Parker, a charming entrepreneur, on her futon after a one-night stand. Initially annoyed by his forgetfulness, she is impressed when he recalls personal details about her. Sean reveals his background as the founder of Napster and his current financial struggles, sparking Amy's fascination. As she prepares for a shower, Sean discovers theFacebook on her laptop and, excited by its potential, tricks her out of the shower with a false snake alarm. Their playful banter leads to a discussion about theFacebook's popularity, and Sean expresses his intent to find Mark Zuckerberg, ending the scene with his request for paper to jot down ideas.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Intriguing character interactions
  • Revealing personal details
Weaknesses
  • Subtle conflict
  • Limited action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with engaging dialogue and a surprising twist, keeping the audience intrigued and curious about the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around an unexpected encounter between two characters, delving into personal details and creating intrigue through their interaction.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the interaction between Amy and Sean, revealing personal information and setting up potential conflicts and developments for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the encounter between a college student and a successful entrepreneur, blending humor, irony, and unexpected revelations to create a unique dynamic. The authenticity of characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Amy and Sean are well-developed through their dialogue and interactions, showcasing their personalities and creating a sense of intrigue and curiosity.

Character Changes: 7

Both Amy and Sean experience subtle shifts in their perceptions and understanding of each other during the scene, hinting at potential character growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Amy's internal goal is to understand and process the surprising revelation about Sean Parker's identity and background. This reflects her need for clarity, self-assurance, and possibly reevaluation of her own choices and perceptions.

External Goal: 7.5

Amy's external goal is to navigate the unexpected situation with Sean Parker in her apartment, balancing her academic responsibilities and personal interactions. This reflects the immediate challenge of managing a surprising encounter and potential repercussions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is subtle, mainly revolving around the personal dynamics between Amy and Sean, hinting at potential tensions and developments.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with elements of surprise, tension, and conflicting perceptions between characters. The audience is kept uncertain about the outcome, adding depth to the interaction and character dynamics.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in the scene are moderate, focusing more on personal interactions and revelations rather than high-stakes conflicts or events.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by revealing personal details about the characters and setting up potential conflicts and developments, adding depth to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected revelations, sharp dialogue exchanges, and contrasting character dynamics that keep the audience guessing about the outcome of the interaction. The element of surprise adds depth and intrigue to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 8.5

The philosophical conflict revolves around the contrast between appearances and reality, success and struggle, as seen in the interaction between Amy, a college student, and Sean Parker, a controversial entrepreneur. This challenges Amy's beliefs about success, identity, and societal expectations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, evoking curiosity, intrigue, and a sense of surprise through the characters' interactions and revelations.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is engaging, intimate, and revealing, effectively conveying the personalities of the characters and driving the interaction forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, tension, and unexpected revelations that keep the audience intrigued and invested in the characters' interactions. The dynamic dialogue and character dynamics contribute to the scene's high engagement level.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension, reveals information gradually, and maintains a dynamic rhythm through dialogue exchanges and character actions. It contributes to the scene's effectiveness by enhancing the flow and impact of key moments.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8.5

The formatting of the scene aligns with the expected format for its genre, effectively conveying character actions, dialogue exchanges, and scene transitions. It enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively introduces characters, establishes conflict, and builds tension through dialogue and actions. It adheres to the expected format for a character-driven interaction scene.


Critique
  • This scene effectively introduces Sean Parker's charismatic and opportunistic personality, showcasing his quick wit and ability to charm others, which is crucial for his later role in the story. The dialogue between Sean and Amy is engaging and reveals Sean's background in a natural, conversational way, helping to build his character as a flawed yet intriguing entrepreneur. It also serves a key narrative function by having Sean discover theFacebook, which plants the seed for his involvement with Mark Zuckerberg, tying into the broader themes of innovation, social dynamics, and the rise of social media.
  • However, Amy's character feels underdeveloped and primarily serves as a plot device to facilitate Sean's discovery of theFacebook. Her reactions are somewhat stereotypical—shifting from skepticism to fascination too quickly—which reduces the authenticity of their interaction. This makes the scene less emotionally resonant, as Amy lacks depth beyond being a Stanford student who had a one-night stand with Sean, potentially alienating readers who might see her as expendable.
  • The humor in the scene, particularly the 'snake' trick to lure Amy out of the shower, adds a light-hearted moment that contrasts with the more serious undertones of the script. While this works to highlight Sean's manipulative side, it risks feeling contrived or overly comedic, which could undermine the tension building from previous scenes involving legal conflicts with the Winklevoss twins. Balancing humor with the scene's stakes is important to maintain the film's overall tone of ambition and betrayal.
  • Pacing is generally strong, with the discovery of theFacebook building excitement effectively, but some dialogue exchanges, like the banter about Amy's major and Sean's background, could be tightened to avoid redundancy. This scene transitions well from the dorm room conflicts in earlier scenes to Sean's entrepreneurial awakening, but it might benefit from stronger visual cues to emphasize the addictive nature of theFacebook, making Sean's reaction more vivid and foreshadowing its impact on the story.
  • Overall, the scene advances the plot by initiating Sean's arc, but it could better integrate with the script's exploration of social isolation and competition. For instance, contrasting Sean's charm with Mark's awkwardness (seen in prior scenes) could be more explicit, reinforcing the theme that social skills play a role in success. The ending, where Sean decides to find Mark, is a strong hook, but it could be more suspenseful to heighten anticipation for future events.
Suggestions
  • Deepen Amy's character by adding a subtle backstory or motivation, such as making her more skeptical or ambitious herself, to make her interaction with Sean feel more genuine and less like a setup for the plot twist.
  • Refine the dialogue to eliminate redundant lines, such as shortening the exchange about Amy's major, to improve pacing and keep the focus on Sean's revelation about Napster and theFacebook discovery, making the scene more dynamic.
  • Enhance the visual elements during Sean's exploration of theFacebook page by describing his facial expressions or adding sound design (e.g., clicking sounds or page refreshes) to convey the platform's addictive quality, thereby increasing the scene's tension and foreshadowing its societal impact.
  • Strengthen the transition from humor to seriousness by toning down the snake trick or integrating it more seamlessly with Sean's character traits, ensuring it aligns with the film's tone and doesn't detract from the building conflict established in scenes like the Winklevoss twins' discussion.
  • Amplify Sean's excitement and decision to find Mark by adding a small action or internal monologue, such as him jotting down notes feverishly, to make his entrepreneurial drive more palpable and connect it better to the overarching narrative of competition and innovation in the tech world.



Scene 33 - Dismissed Aspirations
INT. LARRY SUMMERS’ OUTER OFFICE - DAY
CAMERON and TYLER, in dark suits, are waiting to see the
president of Harvard.

The President’s office is in one of the two oldest university
buildings in the country, and the SECRETARY sitting at the
desk is even older. You get the sense that she thinks Harvard
would be a better place if it weren’t for all these students.
CAMERON
(just making small talk)
I’ve never been in this building before.
SECRETARY
(without really looking up)
This building’s a hundred years older
than the country it’s in. So do be
careful.
TYLER
We’re sitting in chairs.
SECRETARY
(into phone)
Yes.
(into phone)
Very good.
She hangs up the phone.
SECRETARY (CONT’D)
You can go in now.
She points to a door and CAMERON and TYLER get up, quickly
straighten themselves, and walk into
INT. SUMMERS’ OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
LARRY SUMMERS, a large man, is on the phone at his desk in his
well-appointed office. A fire crackles in the sitting area and
a 40-ish African-American woman, ANNE, in a pants suit is
nearby going over some papers.
SUMMERS waves the boys in--
SUMMERS
(into phone)
That’s just their own stupidity, I should
have been there.
(into phone)
Darkness is the absence of light and
stupidity in that instance was the
absence of me.
SUMMERS motions for them to sit and they do. They take in some
of the photographs around the room--SUMMERS with BILL CLINTON,
etc.
SUMMERS (CONT’D)
(into phone)
Catherine, I have students in my office
now.
(MORE)

SUMMERS (CONT’D)
(into phone)
Students.
(into phone)
Undergrads.
(into phone)
I don’t know, from the looks of it they
want to sell me a Brooks Brothers
franchise.
(beat)
Alright.
SUMMERS hangs up the phone--
SUMMERS (CONT’D)
Good morning.
CAMERON
Good morning, sir. I’m Cameron Winklevoss
and this is my brother, Tyler.
SUMMERS reaches to the top of a pile of papers and pulls a ten-
page letter off the top.
SUMMERS
And you’re here because...
There’s silence while SUMMERS appears to read over the
letter...
SUMMERS (CONT’D)
Either one of you can answer.
CAMERON
I’m sorry, I thought you were reading the
letter.
SUMMERS
I’ve read the letter.
CAMERON
We came up with an idea for a website
called HarvardConnection--we’ve since
changed the name to ConnectU--and Mark
Zuckerberg stole that idea and--
SUMMERS
I understand. I’m asking what do you want
me to do about it.
CAMERON points to a row of Harvard Student Handbooks on the
bookshelf behind SUMMERS.
CAMERON
Well sir, in The Harvard Student
Handbook, which is distributed to each
freshman--under the heading “Standards of
Conduct in the Harvard Community”--

SUMMERS can’t help an agonized sigh--
CAMERON (CONT’D)
--it says, “The College expects that all
students will be honest and forthcoming
in their dealings with members of this
community. All students are required to
respect public and private ownership.
Instances of theft, misappropriation--
SUMMERS
Anne?
ANNE
Yes sir.
SUMMERS
Punch me in the face.
(then to CAMERON)
Go ahead.
CAMERON
(beat)
...or unauthorized use will result in
disciplinary action. Including
requirement to withdraw from the college.
SUMMERS
And you memorized that instead of doing
what?
CAMERON
What my brother and I came here today to
ask of you, respectfully of course, is
that--
TYLER
(a little frustrated with this
bullshit)
Sir, it’s against University rules to
steal from another student, plain and
simple.
SUMMERS
You’ve spoken to your House Master?
CAMERON
Yes sir, and the House Master made a
recommendation to the Ad Board but the Ad
Board won’t see us.
SUMMERS
Have you tried dealing with the other
student directly?

CAMERON
Mr. Zuckerberg hasn’t been responding to
any of our e-mails or phone calls for the
last two weeks. He doesn’t answer when we
knock on his door at Kirkland and the
closest we’ve come to dealing with him
face to face is when I saw him on the
quad and chased him through Harvard
Square.
SUMMERS
You chased him?
CAMERON
(beat)
I saw him and I know he saw me and I went
after him but he disappeared.
SUMMERS
I don’t see this as a University issue.
TYLER
Of course this is a University issue.
There’s a code of ethics and an honor
code and he violated them both.
SUMMERS
You entered into a code of ethics with
the university, not with each other.
TYLER
(beat)
I’m sorry President Summers, what you
just said makes no sense to me at all.
SUMMERS
I’m devastated by that.
CAMERON
What my brother means is that if Mark
Zuckerberg walked into our dorm room and
stole our computer that would be a
university issue, right?
SUMMERS
I really don’t know, this office doesn’t
handle petty larceny.
TYLER
This isn’t petty larceny.
CAMERON
(calming)
Ty--
TYLER
This idea is potentially worth millions
of dollars.

SUMMERS
Millions?
CAMERON
Yes.
SUMMERS
You might be letting your imaginations
run away with you.
TYLER
Sir, I honestly don’t think you’re in any
position to make that call.
SUMMERS
I was U.S. Treasury Secretary, I’m in
some position to make--
TYLER
Letting our imaginations run away with us
is exactly what we were told to do in
your freshmen address.
SUMMERS
Well I would suggest that you let your
imaginations run away with you on a new
project.
TYLER
You would.
SUMMERS
Yes. Everyone at Harvard is inventing
something. Harvard undergraduates believe
that inventing a job is better than
finding a job so I’ll suggest again that
the two of you come up with a new new
project.
CAMERON
I’m sorry, but that’s not the point.
SUMMERS
Please arrive at the point.
CAMERON
You don’t have to be an intellectual
property expert to understand the
difference between right and wrong.
SUMMERS
And you’re saying that I don’t?
CAMERON
Of course I’m not saying that.

TYLER
I’m saying that.
SUMMERS
Really.
CAMERON
Sir--
SUMMERS
Anne, how did they get this appointment?
ANNE
Colleagues of their father.
SUMMERS gives a quick nod--that’s what he thought.
SUMMERS
Let me tell you something, Mr. Winklevoss
and...Mr. Winklevoss. Since you’re on the
subject of right and wrong. This action,
this meeting, the two of you being here,
is wrong. It’s not worthy of Harvard.
It’s not what Harvard saw in you. You
don’t get special treatment.
CAMERON
We’ve never--
TYLER
Start another project? Like we’re making
a diorama for the science fair?
SUMMERS
And if you have a problem with that, Mr.
Winklevoss--
CAMERON
We’ve never asked for special treatment.
SUMMERS
--the courts are always at your disposal.
Is there anything else I can do for you?
TYLER
(under his breath)
Well you could take the Harvard Student
Handbook and shoved it up--
CAMERON
(stopping him)
Ty.
(to SUMMERS)
Thank you very much for your time, sir.
CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS OUTER OFFICE - DAY
As CAMERON and TYLER exit, TYLER closes the door a little too
hard and the brass doorknob comes off in his hand. He drops it
on the SECRETARY’S desk as he exits--
TYLER
I broke your 335 year old doorknob.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In scene 33, the Winklevoss twins, Cameron and Tyler, confront Harvard President Larry Summers about their stolen idea for a website, HarvardConnection. Despite their earnest pleas and references to university ethics, Summers dismisses their concerns with sarcasm and suggests they pursue legal action instead. The twins leave frustrated, with Tyler accidentally breaking the doorknob in a moment of anger, symbolizing their thwarted ambitions.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Occasional lack of subtlety in character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, intense, and pivotal in the storyline, effectively conveying the conflict and power struggle between the characters. The dialogue is sharp and confrontational, adding depth to the characters and advancing the plot significantly.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of seeking justice and confronting ethical violations is central to the scene, driving the conflict and character motivations. The scene effectively explores themes of integrity, power dynamics, and moral responsibility.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene as the conflict escalates and the characters face a crucial decision regarding their next steps. The tension and stakes are heightened, setting the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the theme of intellectual property theft and ethical dilemmas. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, offering a nuanced exploration of institutional power dynamics.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined and their personalities shine through in their interactions. The scene allows for character growth and reveals their values, motivations, and conflicts effectively.

Character Changes: 8

The characters experience a shift in their perspectives and motivations during the scene, particularly in their interactions with authority figures and their approach to seeking justice. This leads to potential growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to seek justice and uphold ethical standards. This reflects their deeper need for fairness, integrity, and validation of their beliefs.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to confront the President of Harvard about intellectual property theft and seek resolution for the situation. This reflects the immediate challenge of facing institutional authority and seeking accountability.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving ethical, legal, and personal stakes. The power struggle between the characters creates a compelling dynamic that drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and power struggles creating obstacles for the protagonists. The audience is left uncertain about the resolution, adding to the dramatic tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters confront Harvard's president about intellectual property theft, risking their academic standing and reputation. The outcome of this confrontation could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a crucial conflict, escalating tensions, and setting the stage for future events. It propels the narrative towards a critical turning point.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and unexpected reactions from characters. The audience is kept on edge by the uncertain outcomes of the confrontation.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the clash between personal ethics and institutional power. The protagonists believe in the importance of honesty and fairness, while the President represents a system that prioritizes reputation and tradition over individual grievances.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, frustration, and defiance. The high stakes and confrontational dialogue heighten the emotional impact, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and impactful, driving the scene forward and revealing the characters' emotions and intentions. It adds depth to the conflict and highlights the power dynamics at play.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic dialogue, moral complexity, and power play dynamics. The conflict between characters and the high stakes of the situation keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and confrontation to unfold naturally. The rhythm of dialogue and character interactions enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character cues, and dialogue formatting. The visual elements are effectively conveyed to enhance the reader's understanding.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and conflict. The progression of dialogue and character interactions align with the genre expectations of a dramatic confrontation.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the frustration and entitlement of the Winklevoss twins while highlighting Larry Summers' dismissive attitude, which reinforces the film's themes of privilege and institutional indifference. This contrast in character dynamics—Summers as a powerful, sarcastic authority figure versus the twins' naive insistence on justice—creates a compelling conflict that mirrors broader societal issues, such as how elite institutions handle internal disputes. However, the dialogue occasionally feels overly expository, with characters directly quoting the Harvard Student Handbook and explaining their grievances in a way that tells rather than shows, which can reduce tension and make the scene feel less naturalistic. For instance, Cameron's recitation of the handbook rules comes across as contrived, potentially alienating viewers who prefer subtler storytelling.
  • Summers' character is portrayed with sharp wit and condescension, which adds humor and depth to the scene, but it risks caricaturing him as a one-dimensional antagonist. His lines, like 'Punch me in the face' or comparing the twins to Brooks Brothers salesmen, are memorable and humorous, but they might overemphasize his arrogance without providing enough nuance to make him a fully realized character. This could make the scene feel less balanced, as the twins' perspective dominates, and Summers' dismissal seems too swift, potentially undermining the emotional stakes for the audience.
  • The pacing builds tension well, starting with the awkward wait in the outer office and culminating in Tyler's frustrated outburst with the doorknob, which provides a strong visual punchline. This ending moment effectively symbolizes the twins' impotence and adds a layer of physical comedy, but the middle section drags slightly with repetitive back-and-forth about the handbook and Summers' sarcasm. This repetition might dilute the impact of the conflict, making the scene feel longer than necessary in a fast-paced screenplay like this one, where multiple plotlines are intercut.
  • Visually, the scene uses the setting effectively—the historic office with photos of Summers with dignitaries—to convey power and tradition, contrasting with the twins' youthful energy. However, there's limited action or visual variety, relying heavily on dialogue, which could make it less engaging for viewers who respond better to cinematic elements. For example, more close-ups on facial reactions or subtle body language could heighten the emotional undercurrents, such as Cameron's calming influence on Tyler, emphasizing their twin dynamic without explicit dialogue.
  • Thematically, this scene advances the narrative by showing the failure of institutional recourse for the twins, which foreshadows their eventual legal battles and ties into Mark Zuckerberg's rise. It also subtly critiques how Harvard perpetuates elitism, but this could be more explicitly connected to the overall story, such as referencing Mark's actions indirectly to maintain parallel editing with other scenes. Additionally, the scene's humor, while effective, might overshadow the seriousness of the theft accusation, potentially making the twins appear less sympathetic if their frustration comes across as whiny rather than justified.
  • In terms of character development, the scene deepens the twins' portrayal as privileged but wronged individuals, with Tyler's increasing frustration humanizing him, while Cameron acts as the more composed sibling. However, Anne, Summers' assistant, is underutilized; her presence is noted but she has no significant lines or actions, which feels like a missed opportunity to add another layer, such as her silent judgment or subtle reactions that could reflect on the power dynamics in the room.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to reduce exposition by having the twins reference the handbook more casually or through action, such as pulling out a copy during the conversation, to make it feel more organic and less like a lecture.
  • Add more visual and physical elements to break up the dialogue, such as close-up shots of Summers' facial expressions or the twins' body language, to enhance tension and make the scene more cinematic without relying solely on words.
  • Develop Summers' character slightly more by giving him a moment of genuine insight or vulnerability, perhaps through a brief aside to Anne, to avoid him being a caricature and add depth to the power imbalance.
  • Shorten repetitive sections of the dialogue to improve pacing, focusing on the most impactful exchanges, like Summers' sarcastic remarks and the twins' key accusations, to keep the audience engaged and maintain momentum.
  • Strengthen the connection to the broader narrative by including a subtle reference to Mark's activities (e.g., via a newspaper or overheard comment) to reinforce the parallel storylines and heighten the stakes for the twins' failure here.



Scene 34 - Tensions in the Deposition Room
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GRETCHEN
Eduardo, spring break, you and Mr.
Zuckerberg took a trip to New York.
EDUARDO
Yes.
GRETCHEN
What was the purpose of the trip?
EDUARDO
As CFO, I’d set up some meetings with
potential advertisers.
GRETCHEN
Who paid for the trip?
EDUARDO
It was paid for out of the thousand
dollar account I’d set up a few months
earlier.
GRETCHEN
At this point your thousand dollars was
the only money that had been put into the
company.
EDUARDO
Yes.
GRETCHEN
How did you feel the meetings went?
EDUARDO
They went terribly.
GRETCHEN
Why?
EDUARDO
Mark was asleep.
MARK
I wasn’t asleep.

EDUARDO
Can I re-phrase my answer?
GRETCHEN
Sure.
EDUARDO
I wish he’d been asleep.
CUT TO:
INT. AD EXECUTIVE’S OFFICE - DAY
EDUARDO, in a three-piece suit, is pitching the EXECUTIVE.
MARK, in his hoodie and flip-flops, is completely detached and
staring at the floor.
EDUARDO
...and we’re at 29 schools now with over
75,000 members. People who go on
theFacebook tend to stay on longer than
almost any other site, now here’s the
most impressive statistic--91% of people
who try it once will come back. Now if
you’ll allow me--
EXECUTIVE
Excuse me one second.
(re: MARK)
What sound is he making? Is that like a
“tsk”.
MARK
It wasn’t a “tsk”, it was uh...hmm...like
a glottal stop. Almost a gag reflex.
EXECUTIVE
(beat)
Guys, what is this?
CUT BACK TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GRETCHEN
There was one more meeting scheduled for
the New York trip.
EDUARDO
Yes. It was a dinner. It was set up
through my girlfriend at the time.
GRETCHEN
Would you say that Mark was excited about
this meeting?

EDUARDO
Yes, very.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In scene 34, lawyer Gretchen questions Eduardo about a disastrous spring break trip to New York with Mark Zuckerberg. Eduardo recounts how he organized meetings with potential advertisers, only to be undermined by Mark's detached behavior. A flashback reveals Eduardo's professional pitch contrasted with Mark's casual attire and distractions, highlighting their discord. The scene captures the tension between Eduardo's frustrations and Mark's dismissive attitude, culminating in a humorous exchange during the deposition. It ends with Eduardo confirming Mark's excitement for a dinner meeting, hinting at ongoing conflicts.
Strengths
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development within the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, filled with tension and conflict, and progresses the plot significantly through the deposition testimony. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, enhancing the overall impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a deposition scene is well-executed, highlighting the legal conflict and character dynamics. The scene effectively conveys the complexities of the legal proceedings and the interpersonal tensions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly through the deposition testimony, revealing crucial information and character dynamics. The conflict and tension drive the scene forward, keeping the audience engaged.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh take on business negotiations and personal conflicts within a tech startup setting. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the scene, making it stand out in its portrayal of ambition, betrayal, and ambition.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities shine through in their testimonies, showcasing their frustrations, defensiveness, and conflicting perspectives. The scene effectively develops the characters within the legal context.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes within this specific scene, the tensions and conflicts experienced by the characters contribute to their development and growth throughout the narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the challenges of working with a brilliant but socially awkward partner, Mark Zuckerberg. This reflects his need for recognition, validation, and success in the business world, while also hinting at his fear of being overshadowed or undermined by Mark's behavior.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to secure advertising deals for the company during the New York trip. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of establishing the company's financial viability and growth potential.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with tensions running high between the characters during the deposition testimony. The conflicting testimonies and defensive responses escalate the drama and engage the audience.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicts arising from both external challenges, such as securing advertising deals, and internal dynamics, such as Mark's disruptive behavior. The audience is left uncertain about the outcomes, adding suspense and intrigue to the scene.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters navigate a tense legal situation with potential consequences for their relationships and business ventures. The outcome of the deposition testimony could have significant implications.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information through the deposition testimony. The conflicts and tensions introduced in the scene drive the narrative progression and engage the audience.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in character interactions and revelations, such as Mark's unconventional behavior and Eduardo's conflicted emotions. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the conflicts will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between professionalism and personal relationships. Eduardo's frustration with Mark's behavior highlights the tension between business expectations and personal dynamics within the startup environment.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene delivers a strong emotional impact through the tense interactions, frustrations, and defensive postures of the characters. The audience is drawn into the drama and conflict, enhancing the overall engagement.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, tense, and engaging, reflecting the characters' emotions and motivations. The dialogue enhances the conflict and drama of the scene, driving the narrative forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of humor, tension, and character dynamics that keep the audience invested in the unfolding drama. The sharp dialogue exchanges and contrasting character traits create a compelling narrative that drives the scene forward.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue-heavy moments with visual cues and character actions. The rhythm of the scene builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged in the unfolding drama.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, character cues, and dialogue formatting. The clarity of the formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and well-defined character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness, maintaining a balance between dialogue-driven moments and visual storytelling.


Critique
  • This scene effectively uses intercutting between the deposition and a flashback to illustrate the ongoing consequences of past actions, a technique that is consistent with the screenplay's structure and helps to build thematic depth by contrasting Eduardo's current testimony with the historical events that contributed to the legal conflicts. It highlights Mark's characteristic detachment and Eduardo's growing frustration, reinforcing their character arcs and the central theme of betrayal and miscommunication in business relationships. However, the scene feels somewhat repetitive in its portrayal of Mark's aloofness, which has been established in earlier scenes (e.g., Scene 30), potentially diluting its impact by not introducing new layers to his character; this could make the audience feel that Mark's behavior is becoming a trope rather than evolving. Additionally, the dialogue in the flashback, particularly the ad executive's interruption and Mark's explanation of the 'glottal stop,' is humorous and serves to humanize the characters, but it risks coming across as overly expository or contrived, as it directly states the problems (e.g., Mark's disengagement) without allowing the audience to infer them through subtler means. The emotional tone in the deposition room is tense and revealing, but Eduardo's responses could benefit from more nuance to show his internal conflict, making his character more sympathetic and less one-dimensional in this moment. Visually, the intercutting works well to maintain pace, but the transitions could be smoother to avoid jarring the audience, especially since the screenplay often employs this technique. Overall, while the scene advances the plot by delving into the failed business efforts, it doesn't fully capitalize on the opportunity to explore the personal ramifications of these events, such as how they foreshadow the larger fallout between Mark and Eduardo, which might leave readers wanting more insight into their deteriorating friendship.
  • In terms of structure, the scene is concise and fits well within the deposition framework that frames much of the latter part of the screenplay, allowing for reflection on key events. However, it lacks a strong hook or a unique angle that distinguishes it from similar scenes, such as those in Scenes 27 or 33, where interpersonal conflicts and dismissals are also central. The humor derived from Mark's odd sound and the executive's confusion adds levity, which is a strength of the script, but it might undercut the seriousness of the business failures, making the consequences feel less weighty. Character interactions, particularly Mark's interjection during Eduardo's testimony, effectively show his defensiveness and ego, but this could be amplified by including more non-verbal cues or reactions from other characters in the deposition room, like the stenographer or Gretchen, to heighten the tension and make the scene more dynamic. Thematically, it ties into the broader narrative of ambition clashing with social ineptitude, but it could delve deeper into how these early missteps reflect systemic issues in the tech industry, such as the undervaluing of business acumen versus technical skill, which is hinted at but not fully explored. Finally, the scene's brevity (estimated around 45-60 seconds based on dialogue and action) makes it punchy, but it might benefit from slight expansion to allow for better emotional beats, ensuring that the audience connects more deeply with Eduardo's disappointment and Mark's obliviousness.
  • From a reader's perspective, the scene is clear and easy to follow, with straightforward dialogue and action descriptions that maintain the screenplay's fast-paced style. However, the reliance on exposition in Gretchen's questions and Eduardo's answers can feel a bit heavy-handed, as it tells rather than shows the audience about the trip's failures, which might reduce engagement. The flashback provides a vivid snapshot of the past, but it could be more immersive with additional details, such as the ad executive's office environment or Eduardo's body language, to paint a fuller picture. Critically, this scene underscores the power imbalance in Mark and Eduardo's relationship, but it doesn't fully capitalize on the opportunity to humanize Mark beyond his flaws, potentially alienating readers who might see him as a villain without redeeming qualities. Suggestions for improvement would focus on balancing humor with drama, enhancing character depth, and ensuring the scene contributes uniquely to the overall arc without redundancy.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the flashback sequence by adding more sensory details, such as describing the ad executive's office atmosphere (e.g., cluttered desks, corporate art) or Eduardo's nervous energy through actions like fidgeting, to make the scene more vivid and immersive, helping the audience feel the awkwardness more intensely.
  • Refine the dialogue to reduce exposition; for example, instead of Eduardo directly stating 'Mark was asleep' and then rephrasing it, show Mark's detachment through visual cues in the flashback, like him staring blankly or doodling, allowing the audience to infer the issue without telling.
  • Introduce subtle non-verbal reactions from secondary characters in the deposition room, such as Gretchen raising an eyebrow or the stenographer pausing, to add layers to the tension and make the scene feel more dynamic and less static.
  • Extend the scene slightly to include a brief moment of reflection from Eduardo after the flashback, perhaps through a voice-over or internal thought, to deepen his character and connect his past frustrations to his current legal battles, strengthening emotional resonance.
  • Vary Mark's portrayal to avoid repetition; for instance, add a fleeting moment where he shows brief regret or awareness in the deposition interjection, to humanize him and prevent his character from becoming a one-note antagonist, which could make the overall narrative more nuanced.



Scene 35 - Tensions at Table 66
INT. 66 - NIGHT
66 is a hip and trendy restaurant in Tribeca. The young crowd
is drinking cocktails of all different colors and wearing
Prada. We FIND EDUARDO in a three-piece suit and MARK in his
hoodie and flip-flops, along with EDUARDO’s now-girlfriend,
CHRISTY, sitting at a table with an empty seat waiting.
CHRISTY
They’re not gonna card us.
EDUARDO
They might.
CHRISTY
Look around.
EDUARDO
It’ll be embarrassing.
CHRISTY
(to MARK)
Tell him they’re not gonna card us.
MARK
They’re not gonna card us.
EDUARDO
Mark--
MARK
Are you gonna talk about ads again?
EDUARDO
Unless you’re the Ballet Theatre of
Hartford, the purpose of a business is to
make a profit.
MARK
This isn’t a business yet.
EDUARDO
That’s tough for me because my job is to--
nevermind.
MARK says nothing...
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
(pause)
He’s 25 minutes late.

MARK
He founded Napster when he was 19, he can
be late.
EDUARDO
He’s not a god.
MARK
What is he?
EDUARDO
25 minutes late.
CHRISTY
I think Wardo’s jealous.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
I honestly wasn’t jealous. I was nervous.
GRETCHEN
Why?
EDUARDO
I didn’t know him at all but I’d done a
search and I’d asked around. He struck me
as kind of a wild card.
CUT BACK TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a trendy Tribeca restaurant, Eduardo, Mark, and Christy await the late arrival of Sean Parker. Eduardo, dressed formally, expresses concern over the delay and emphasizes the importance of profit in their venture, while Mark dismisses his worries and defends Parker's reputation. The scene builds tension as Eduardo's frustration grows, intercut with a deposition where he denies jealousy but reveals his nervousness about the guest. The contrasting dynamics highlight the group's interpersonal conflicts and differing priorities.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Tension and humor balance
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Lack of external action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines tension and humor through the dialogue and character interactions, providing insight into the conflicting perspectives of Eduardo and Mark while introducing a new dynamic with Christy. The pacing and tone keep the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding drama.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of contrasting personalities and conflicting goals within a business setting is effectively portrayed, adding depth to the characters and setting the stage for future developments.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced through the introduction of new characters, the exploration of business dynamics, and the underlying tensions between Eduardo and Mark. The scene sets up potential conflicts and developments that will impact the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on business dynamics and personal motivations, blending elements of technology and social dynamics in a contemporary setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and reflective of real-world tensions.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined, with Eduardo's professionalism contrasting with Mark's casual attitude, and Christy adding a new dynamic to the group. The dialogue reveals insights into their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the introduction of Christy as Eduardo's girlfriend hints at potential shifts in relationships and dynamics.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his professional beliefs and values while dealing with feelings of inadequacy and jealousy. It reflects his need for validation and recognition in the business world.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate a social situation and assert his authority in a business context. It reflects the immediate challenge of managing relationships and establishing credibility.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Eduardo's focus on profit and Mark's vision for theFacebook creates tension and sets the stage for future disagreements. The differing perspectives lead to engaging dialogue and character interactions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and unresolved tensions creating obstacles for the characters. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflicts will be resolved.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes involve the future success of theFacebook, the dynamics between the characters, and the potential impact of business decisions on their relationships and ambitions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, relationships, and business decisions that will impact the narrative progression. It sets the stage for future developments and reveals key character motivations.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics, conflicting viewpoints, and unresolved tensions among the characters. The audience is left uncertain about the outcomes of the interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around differing perspectives on success, business ethics, and personal values. Eduardo emphasizes profit-making, while Mark focuses on innovation and reputation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from tension and anxiety to humor and light-hearted moments. The audience is invested in the characters' struggles and motivations.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals the characters' conflicting perspectives and emotions. The exchanges between the characters drive the scene forward and establish key relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the dynamic exchanges between characters, the underlying tensions, and the unfolding of conflicting motivations. The dialogue keeps the audience invested in the characters' relationships and goals.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense through well-timed dialogue exchanges and pauses. It maintains a rhythm that enhances the emotional impact of the interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting aligns with industry standards, presenting dialogue and scene descriptions clearly for visual interpretation. It enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the progression of dialogue and character interactions. It adheres to genre expectations while introducing depth to the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension through dialogue that highlights the growing rift between Eduardo and Mark, showcasing Eduardo's frustration with Mark's casual dismissal of business concerns and Christy's role in exacerbating the conflict. However, this also underscores a potential issue with character depth: Christy's character feels one-dimensional, primarily serving as a catalyst for conflict without much agency or development, which might alienate readers or viewers who expect more nuanced female characters in modern screenplays. Additionally, the intercutting to the deposition room is a stylistic choice that provides context and exposition, but it interrupts the natural flow of the restaurant scene, potentially diluting the immediacy and emotional intensity of the interpersonal dynamics unfolding in real-time.
  • Dialogue in this scene is sharp and revealing, effectively conveying themes of jealousy, ambition, and the clash between business pragmatism and innovative idealism. Yet, some lines, such as the repetitive emphasis on Sean being '25 minutes late,' come across as overly expository and could benefit from more subtle integration to avoid feeling hammered. This repetition might make the scene feel less organic, as it explicitly states tensions that could be shown through actions or subtext, reducing the audience's opportunity to infer character motivations. Furthermore, the setting in a trendy restaurant is vividly described, but it lacks deeper integration with the characters' emotions; for instance, the contrast between Eduardo's formal attire and Mark's casual wear is noted, but it could be used more dynamically to visually reinforce their ideological differences.
  • Thematically, the scene aligns well with the overall script's exploration of social exclusion, ambition, and the cost of success, as Eduardo's nervousness about Sean Parker foreshadows future conflicts. However, the cutaway before Sean's arrival leaves the scene feeling incomplete, as it builds anticipation without resolution, which might frustrate viewers if not balanced across the sequence. In terms of pacing, the scene moves quickly, which suits the tense atmosphere, but the deposition intercut slows it down unnecessarily, creating a disjointed rhythm that could confuse the audience about the primary focus. Lastly, while the scene advances character relationships and plot, it doesn't fully capitalize on the restaurant's vibrant environment to add layers, such as using background elements or other patrons to subtly mirror or contrast the characters' isolation amid a social setting.
  • From a structural standpoint, the intercutting technique is consistent with the screenplay's style (as seen in previous scenes), but in this instance, it risks over-explaining Eduardo's internal state through the deposition testimony, which might undermine the show-don't-tell principle. This could make the scene less cinematic, as the audience is told about Eduardo's jealousy rather than fully experiencing it through his actions and words in the restaurant. Additionally, Christy's line about Eduardo being jealous feels forced and stereotypical, potentially reinforcing gender roles where women are portrayed as instigators of male conflict without their own stakes, which could benefit from revision to give her more depth or relevance to the story's core themes.
Suggestions
  • Enhance Christy's character by giving her a stronger personal stake in the conversation, such as tying her comments to her own experiences with social media or business, to make her more than just a side character and add depth to the scene.
  • Refine the dialogue to incorporate more subtext and reduce repetition; for example, show Eduardo's frustration through physical actions or indirect comments rather than stating 'He's 25 minutes late' multiple times, allowing the audience to engage more actively with the subtext.
  • Strengthen the visual elements by using the restaurant setting more actively—perhaps have background characters or environmental details (like the colorful cocktails) subtly reflect the characters' emotions, such as contrasting the lively atmosphere with Eduardo's growing isolation to heighten dramatic irony.
  • Adjust the intercutting to ensure it serves the narrative without disrupting flow; consider delaying the deposition cut until after a key moment in the restaurant scene or integrating it more seamlessly to maintain tension, or explore alternative ways to provide exposition, like internal monologue or visual cues.
  • Extend the scene slightly to include a small resolution or cliffhanger before cutting away, such as Eduardo challenging Mark more directly about their partnership, to make the anticipation for Sean's arrival feel more earned and connected to the overall arc of their deteriorating relationship.



Scene 36 - The Charismatic Intruder
INT. 66 - NIGHT
CHRISTY
Why?
EDUARDO
He crashed out of two pretty big internet
companies in spectacular fashion and he’s
had a reputation with drugs.
MARK
He also founded the companies.
EDUARDO
We don’t need him.
MARK
(nodding toward the door)
He’s here.
SEAN PARKER has stepped into the restaurant and is saying
hello to the hostess while hugging a waitress.

EDUARDO
And he does own a watch.
SEAN stops at a table to shake hands with a guy in a suit and
kiss his girlfriend. It’s sort of an incongruous sight--this
22 year old kid who’s able to work a room like Sinatra. Who
the hell is this?
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
(quietly)
Take your time. And he does own a watch.
CHRISTY
Stop it.
SEAN makes his way over to MARK’s table--
SEAN
I’m Sean Parker.
EDUARDO
(shaking hands)
How do you do.
SEAN
You must be Eduardo. And Christy. And
Mark, it’s great to meet you.
MARK
(almost beaming)
Great to meet you.
SEAN
You guys don’t have anything in front of
you.
(to a passing WAITRESS)
Tori.
EDUARDO
We were waiting for--
WAITRESS
Hey baby boy.
SEAN
Can you bring out some things. The
lacquered pork with that ginger confit?
Tuna tartar and a lobster claws, that’ll
get us started. Christy, what do you like
to drink?
CHRISTY
An appletini?

SEAN
Great. Four of those.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a restaurant at night, Christy questions the presence of Sean Parker, while Eduardo expresses his concerns about Sean's troubled past with internet companies and drug use. Mark defends Sean, emphasizing his successes, just as Sean arrives, displaying his social charm. He confidently interacts with the staff and orders an extravagant meal for the group, including drinks, which highlights his assertive personality. The scene captures the tension between Eduardo's skepticism and Mark's enthusiasm, culminating in Sean's charismatic entrance and the group's mixed reactions.
Strengths
  • Effective introduction of a new character
  • Building tension through contrasting personalities
  • Setting up potential conflicts
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Potential lack of clarity on future character arcs

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively introduces a new character, builds tension through contrasting personalities, and sets up potential conflicts.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of introducing a new character in a social setting adds depth to the story and sets up future developments.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses by introducing Sean Parker and hinting at potential conflicts and alliances within the group.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh take on the tech industry narrative by juxtaposing traditional business concerns with the disruptive influence of a charismatic figure like Sean Parker. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding layers of complexity to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are distinct and their interactions reveal underlying tensions and dynamics within the group.

Character Changes: 7

There are subtle hints at potential character changes, especially in how they may interact with Sean Parker in the future.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the unexpected arrival of Sean Parker and maintain composure in the face of his charismatic presence. This reflects the protagonist's need to assert control and protect the interests of their company while also managing personal emotions and reactions.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to handle the situation with Sean Parker smoothly and potentially leverage his connections for the benefit of their company. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of interacting with a powerful and enigmatic figure in the tech industry.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The scene hints at potential conflicts through the introduction of Sean Parker and the contrasting dynamics within the group.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the unexpected arrival of Sean Parker creating a challenging situation for the protagonist and raising questions about power dynamics and strategic decisions. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of the encounter.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate as the scene hints at potential conflicts and alliances but doesn't escalate to high drama.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new character and setting up potential conflicts and alliances.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected arrival of Sean Parker and the ensuing interactions that challenge the characters' expectations and strategies. The audience is kept on edge by the shifting power dynamics and hidden agendas.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the clash between traditional business values and the allure of disruptive innovation represented by Sean Parker. The protagonist must navigate this conflict between stability and risk-taking in the tech world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact due to the tension and humor in the interactions.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the personalities of the characters and sets the tone for future interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of suspense, humor, and character dynamics that keep the audience invested in the unfolding interactions. The introduction of Sean Parker adds a layer of unpredictability and excitement.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-crafted, with a balance of tension-building moments and character interactions that maintain a sense of momentum and intrigue. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following industry standards for screenplay presentation. It effectively conveys the pacing and rhythm of the interactions between characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and intrigue through dialogue and character interactions. It adheres to the expected format for a dramatic encounter in a screenplay.


Critique
  • This scene effectively introduces Sean Parker as a charismatic and influential figure, contrasting sharply with Eduardo's skepticism and Mark's enthusiasm, which helps to escalate the interpersonal tensions within the group. It highlights Sean's ability to dominate social situations, a key trait that foreshadows his impact on the company's direction, and it fits well into the broader narrative of shifting alliances and the allure of Silicon Valley figures. However, the scene feels somewhat abrupt and lacks deeper emotional layering, as Eduardo's repeated line about Sean owning a watch comes across as redundant and doesn't fully capitalize on the opportunity to explore his character's insecurities or motivations beyond surface-level distrust. The dialogue is snappy and reveals character dynamics efficiently, but it could benefit from more subtext to make the conflict feel less expository and more nuanced, allowing viewers to infer tensions rather than having them stated directly. Visually, the description of Sean's entrance is vivid and cinematic, emphasizing his social ease in a way that underscores the theme of social status and networking, but it might be underutilized to show the contrast with Eduardo's formality and caution, potentially missing a chance to visually reinforce the class and personality divides. Overall, while the scene advances the plot by bringing Sean into the fold, it could be more impactful if it delved deeper into the characters' internal conflicts, making the audience more invested in the impending fallout.
  • The pacing of the scene is quick, which mirrors Sean's energetic entrance and helps maintain momentum in the screenplay, but it risks feeling rushed in a way that doesn't allow the audience to fully absorb the significance of this meeting. Eduardo's concerns about Sean's past are mentioned but not explored in depth, which could leave viewers who aren't familiar with the full context somewhat confused about the stakes. Thematically, this scene ties into the film's exploration of ambition and the cost of success, with Sean's confident ordering of food and drinks symbolizing his take-charge attitude that will later disrupt the group's dynamics, but it could strengthen this by incorporating subtle hints of foreshadowing, such as Sean's interactions hinting at his manipulative side. Additionally, the scene's brevity might not give enough weight to Christy's supportive role, making her feel like a peripheral character rather than an active participant in the tension, which could be an opportunity to deepen her involvement or use her to highlight gender dynamics in the story. In summary, while the scene is functional in advancing character relationships and plot, it could be elevated by adding more layers to the dialogue and actions to enhance emotional resonance and thematic depth.
Suggestions
  • Expand Eduardo's dialogue to include more specific reasons for his distrust of Sean, such as referencing particular incidents from Sean's past that tie into the film's themes of failure and redemption, to make his character more proactive and less reactive.
  • Add a visual or action beat during Sean's entrance to heighten contrast, such as showing Eduardo stiffening or adjusting his tie uncomfortably while Sean smoothly navigates the room, to emphasize character differences without relying solely on dialogue.
  • Reduce redundancy in Eduardo's lines by combining or rephrasing the repeated 'And he does own a watch' comment to avoid repetition and allow for a smoother flow, perhaps integrating it into a single, more impactful line that reveals his jealousy or insecurity.
  • Incorporate a moment of silence or a reaction shot after Sean's arrival to build tension, giving the audience time to process the shift in power dynamics and making the scene feel less hurried.
  • Consider adding a subtle foreshadowing element, like Sean glancing at Mark with a knowing smile while ordering, to hint at their future alliance and increase the scene's narrative payoff in later acts.



Scene 37 - The Sean-a-thon: Paranoia and Power
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
From that point on it was the Sean-a-
thon.
SY
The question was “What did you talk
about?”
EDUARDO
He took us through his episode with
Napster.
CUT TO:
INT. 66 - NIGHT
The CAMERA is moving around the table as SEAN--in and out of
MOS--is telling story after story while food is brought,
drinks put down, more food brought and more drinks put down.
MARK is enthralled, CHRISTY is sexy and EDUARDO is polite.
SEAN
I didn’t want to spend my 20’s as a
professional defendant. Who knew--the
music industry doesn’t have a sense of
humor. We tried to sell the company to
pay the 35 million they said we owed in
royalties but I guess to them that was a
little like selling a stolen car to pay
for the stolen gas. So we said screw it
and declared bankruptcy.
CHRISTY
But you made a name for yourself.
SEAN
And you are dry. Tori?
CHRISTY
No, I’m good.
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO (V.O.)
And then he went on to his second
business venture, which was an online
rolodex that he got thrown out of by Case
Equity.

INT. 66 - NIGHT
SEAN
And I wanted to do it nice this time. I
put on a tie and I shined my shoes but
nobody wants to take orders from a kid so
let me tell you what happens to a 20 year
old at the top of a hot dot com:
CUT BACK TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
I’m not a psychiatrist, but--
SY
I’m glad we’ve got that on the record.
GRETCHEN
You’re not a psychiatrist but what?
EDUARDO
A psychiatrist would say he was paranoid.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. 66 - NIGHT
SEAN
They’ll hire private detectives who’ll
follow you day and night. You’re a target
for high priced escorts. I can’t prove it
but I know they tapped my phones.
Whatever it is that’s gonna trip you up
you’ve done already. Private behavior is
a relic of a time gone by. And if
somehow, someway, you’ve managed to live
your life like the Dalai Lama then
they’ll make shit up. Because they don’t
want you, they want your idea and then
they want you to say thank you while you--
excuse me--wipe your chin and walk away.
MARK
That’s what happened to you?
CUT BACK TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
And delusional.
CUT BACK TO:

INT. 66 - NIGHT
SEAN
Yes. There‘ll be payback at Case. I
brought down the record companies with
Napster and Case’s gonna suffer for their
sins too.
EDUARDO
You didn’t bring down the record
companies. They won.
SEAN
In court.
EDUARDO
Yes.
SEAN
You want to buy a Tower Records, Eduardo?
Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary In scene 37, Eduardo testifies in a deposition about a night at restaurant 66, where Sean dominated the conversation with tales of his entrepreneurial struggles and paranoia. As Eduardo describes Sean's delusions and vengeful mindset, he challenges Sean's narrative about his legal battles with record companies, leading to a tense exchange. The scene contrasts the formal deposition with the lively restaurant atmosphere, highlighting themes of paranoia and betrayal, ultimately ending with Sean's sarcastic remark about buying a Tower Records store.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Conflict development
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured with intense dialogue that reveals character dynamics and conflicts. It effectively introduces Sean Parker's character and sets up future tensions within the group.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of introducing Sean Parker, exploring past business ventures, and highlighting the tensions within the group is well executed.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses by introducing Sean Parker, revealing past experiences, and setting up future conflicts within the group.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on the tech industry narrative, blending elements of success, failure, and personal vendettas in a compelling way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, offering a unique perspective on entrepreneurship and ambition.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed through their interactions, dialogue, and reactions, especially Sean Parker's charismatic yet controversial personality.

Character Changes: 8

Character changes are subtle but present, especially in the dynamics between the characters and the introduction of Sean Parker.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his success and resilience in the face of adversity. He wants to show that he can overcome challenges and maintain his confidence and reputation.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to assert his dominance and influence in the tech industry, seeking to make a mark and gain recognition for his achievements.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high due to the contrasting viewpoints, personal struggles, and tensions between the characters.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing challenges from external forces and conflicting interests. The uncertainty of outcomes and hidden agendas add depth to the conflicts, keeping the audience engaged and invested.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are moderate, focusing on personal and business reputations, relationships, and future ventures.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new character, setting up future conflicts, and revealing past experiences that impact the present.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' revelations and interactions. The shifting dynamics and conflicting goals keep the audience on edge, unsure of how the scene will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7.5

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around power, control, and the price of success. The protagonist's beliefs about the industry clash with the established norms and expectations, leading to a struggle for recognition and respect.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact due to the intense dialogue and personal revelations.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is intense, confrontational, and reflective, effectively conveying the tensions and conflicts between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, intriguing character dynamics, and high-stakes conflicts. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and motivations, creating a sense of suspense and anticipation.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-crafted, balancing moments of tension with quieter exchanges to create a dynamic rhythm. The scene's pacing enhances the emotional impact of key moments and maintains the audience's interest throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8.5

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for the genre, with clear scene transitions, character cues, and dialogue formatting. It helps maintain clarity and readability, contributing to the scene's effectiveness.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a dynamic structure that alternates between different locations and characters, creating a sense of movement and progression. The pacing and rhythm enhance the scene's impact, leading to a satisfying narrative flow.


Critique
  • The intercutting technique between the deposition room and the flashback to the restaurant effectively mirrors the film's overall structure, providing a rhythmic back-and-forth that emphasizes Eduardo's retrospective bitterness and Sean's manipulative charm. However, this scene risks feeling redundant if the audience has already been exposed to similar intercuts in earlier scenes, potentially diluting its impact by not introducing fresh visual or emotional stakes. The dialogue, particularly Sean's monologues, serves to expositionally build his character as a charismatic but unstable figure, but it can come across as overly didactic, with lines like 'Private behavior is a relic of a time gone by' feeling more like thematic lectures than natural conversation, which might alienate viewers who prefer subtler character revelations.
  • Eduardo's voice-over and deposition testimony add depth by articulating his growing distrust of Sean, effectively foreshadowing the fracturing of his relationship with Mark. Yet, this approach sometimes prioritizes telling over showing, as Eduardo's descriptions of Sean as 'paranoid and delusional' are stated outright rather than inferred through behavior, which could make the character dynamics less nuanced and more on-the-nose. In the restaurant flashback, the visual elements—such as the camera moving around the table and the serving of food and drinks—are strong in conveying Sean's dominance, but they are underutilized to explore the other characters' reactions, like Mark's enthrallment or Christy's disinterest, which could be amplified to heighten tension and make the scene more engaging for the audience.
  • The scene successfully advances the theme of privacy and the perils of success, tying into the broader narrative of 'The Social Network,' but it does so at the expense of pacing. With multiple cuts and shifts in location, the scene might feel disjointed or slow in a film that relies on quick, dynamic sequences to maintain momentum. Additionally, while Sean's stories about Napster and his second venture are informative, they could benefit from more integration with the characters' personal arcs, such as linking Sean's paranoia directly to Mark's ambitions or Eduardo's insecurities, to make the exposition feel more organic and less like a standalone rant. Overall, the scene is competent in building conflict but could be more emotionally resonant by delving deeper into the interpersonal dynamics rather than focusing heavily on Sean's soliloquy.
  • From a screenwriting perspective, the dialogue exchanges, especially Eduardo's interruptions and Sean's retorts, highlight the power imbalances within the group, which is a strength in character development. However, the humor and sarcasm, such as Eduardo's challenge to Sean's claim about bringing down the record companies, are somewhat muted and could be punchier to better contrast the serious undertones. The ending of the scene, with a cut after Sean's ordering of drinks, feels abrupt and doesn't provide a strong emotional beat or transition, potentially leaving the audience without a clear sense of resolution or escalation in the conflict.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements in the flashback sequences, such as close-ups on characters' facial expressions or symbolic actions (e.g., Sean confidently handling the menu while Eduardo fidgets nervously), to convey emotions and themes without relying solely on dialogue, making the scene more cinematic and engaging.
  • Refine the dialogue to be less expository by weaving Sean's stories into interactive exchanges; for example, have Mark or Eduardo interject with questions or personal anecdotes that tie the conversation back to their own experiences, reducing the monologue feel and increasing authenticity.
  • Strengthen the intercutting by ensuring each cut serves a specific purpose, such as contrasting Eduardo's polite skepticism in the flashback with his bitter testimony in the deposition, and consider adding transitional elements like matching actions or sounds to smooth the flow and prevent disorientation.
  • Enhance character depth by showing Eduardo's internal conflict through subtle physicality or subtext, such as him gripping his fork tightly during Sean's rant, to make his voice-over feel more earned and less declarative, thereby improving the emotional payoff.
  • Tighten the pacing by condensing Sean's monologues and focusing on key moments that advance the plot or reveal character, ensuring the scene builds tension towards a clearer climax, such as ending on Eduardo's direct challenge to Sean to heighten the interpersonal conflict.



Scene 38 - Tensions Rise Over Strategy
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO (V.O.)
And he told story after story about life
in Silicon Valley, and parties at Stanford
and down in LA, and friends who’d become
millionaires, but mostly how Mark had to--
had to come to California. And then he got
around to theFacebook.
INT. 66 - NIGHT
SEAN
Tell me about your progress.
EDUARDO
Well...we’re in 29 schools now and we
have over 75,000 members--
SEAN
(ignoring EDUARDO and going for
MARK)
Tell me about the strategy you’re using.
MARK
Okay. For instance, we wanted Baylor in
Texas but Baylor already had a social
network on campus so instead of going
right after them, we made a list of every
school within a hundred miles--
SEAN
--and put theFacebook on those campuses
first.

MARK
Pretty soon all the Baylor kids were
seeing their friends on our site we were
in.
SEAN
That’s called the Little Big Horn, that’s
smart, Mark.
EDUARDO
Thank you, it was mine.
CHRISTY
(to EDUARDO)
Easy.
EDUARDO
Settle an argument for us, would you? I
say it’s time to start making money from
theFacebook but Mark doesn’t want
advertising. Who’s right?
SEAN
Neither of you yet. TheFacebook is cool,
that’s what it’s got going for it.
MARK
Yeah.
SEAN
You don’t want to ruin it with ads
because ads aren’t cool.
MARK
Exactly.
SEAN
It’s like you’re throwing the greatest
party on campus and someone’s telling you
it’s gotta be over at 11:00.
MARK
That’s exactly right.
SEAN
You don’t even know what the thing is
yet.
MARK
I said exactly that.
SEAN
How big it can get and how far it can go.
This is no time to take your chips down.
A million dollars isn’t cool. You know
what’s cool?

EDUARDO
You?
CUT BACK TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Business"]

Summary In scene 38, Eduardo reflects on a pivotal moment in the development of theFacebook during a deposition. A flashback reveals a meeting where Sean praises Mark's strategic approach to expanding the platform, while Eduardo feels overshadowed and frustrated by the lack of recognition for his contributions. The discussion turns to monetization, with Sean siding with Mark against Eduardo's ideas, emphasizing the importance of maintaining the platform's 'cool' factor. The scene captures the competitive dynamics and personal rivalries among the characters, ending with Eduardo's sarcastic remark as the flashback concludes.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Introduction of new character dynamics
  • Exploration of core business conflicts
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Character changes are subtle

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively delves into the core conflict of monetization versus maintaining the cool factor of TheFacebook. It introduces a new character, Sean Parker, who brings a fresh perspective and adds tension to the discussion.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the tension between maintaining the site's appeal and generating revenue is compelling. The addition of Sean Parker as a disruptor enhances the scene's depth.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances through the strategic discussion on TheFacebook's expansion and revenue generation. The conflict over advertising sets up future dilemmas and character dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the challenges of tech entrepreneurship, blending strategic thinking with personal conflicts. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and drive the narrative forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character dynamics are well-developed, with Mark, Eduardo, and Sean each representing distinct viewpoints on the business strategy. The introduction of Sean adds intrigue and conflict.

Character Changes: 7

Character evolution is subtle in this scene, with differing viewpoints on monetization setting the stage for potential shifts in relationships and priorities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate the tension between maintaining the cool factor of theFacebook and the pressure to monetize the platform. This reflects his desire to preserve the integrity and appeal of his creation while also facing the practical need for financial sustainability.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to expand theFacebook's user base by implementing a strategic approach to campus outreach. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of overcoming competition and establishing the platform in new markets.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict arises from differing opinions on monetization and the introduction of Sean Parker as a disruptive influence. The debate adds tension and sets up future confrontations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and strategic decisions creating obstacles for the protagonist. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding suspense and complexity to the scene.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are raised as the characters grapple with crucial decisions regarding the future of TheFacebook. The potential impact on the site's success adds tension.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a key conflict around revenue generation and expanding the narrative with the addition of Sean Parker.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting alliances and conflicting viewpoints among the characters. The audience is kept on edge by the strategic decisions and personal conflicts that unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8.5

The philosophical conflict revolves around the balance between maintaining authenticity and pursuing profitability. Sean advocates for preserving the cool factor of theFacebook without compromising it with ads, while Eduardo emphasizes the need for revenue generation. This conflict challenges the protagonist's values of innovation and user experience versus financial success.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

While the scene is intellectually engaging, the emotional impact is moderate. The focus is more on strategic discussions and character dynamics.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, reflecting the characters' personalities and motivations. The debate on advertising and the analogy of the party add depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic dialogue, strategic tension, and thematic depth. The conflicts and character dynamics draw the audience into the high-stakes world of tech entrepreneurship.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum, keeping the audience engaged in the strategic discussions and character dynamics. The rhythm of dialogue enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for screenplay format, making the scene easy to follow and visualize. It enhances the clarity of character interactions and scene transitions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the strategic discussions and character dynamics. It maintains a clear progression of ideas and conflicts.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the deposition room and the restaurant flashback is a strong narrative device that maintains the script's established rhythm, effectively juxtaposing past events with present testimony to heighten dramatic irony and underscore themes of regret and hindsight. However, this technique risks becoming repetitive if overused across multiple scenes, as it may desensitize the audience to the emotional weight; in this case, since scene 37 also heavily features similar intercutting, it could blur the distinction between scenes, making it harder for viewers to track the progression of the story without clearer transitions or unique visual motifs to differentiate each flashback sequence.
  • The dialogue in the restaurant scene is sharp and revealing, particularly in how it exposes character dynamics—such as Eduardo's defensiveness and Sean's charismatic manipulation—but it occasionally feels expository and on-the-nose, especially with lines like 'Tell me about your progress' and 'Settle an argument for us,' which serve to advance the plot but lack subtlety. This can make the scene feel more like a vehicle for information dumping rather than organic conversation, potentially alienating audiences who prefer dialogue that arises naturally from character motivations rather than serving as a direct exposition of conflict.
  • Character interactions are well-defined, with Eduardo's jealousy and marginalization coming through clearly in his interruptions and claims of credit (e.g., 'Thank you, it was mine'), which adds depth to his arc and foreshadows his eventual fallout with Mark. However, Christy's role remains underdeveloped; her line 'Easy' feels like a token attempt to show her allegiance to Mark without giving her much agency or purpose in the scene, making her presence seem supplementary rather than integral, which could be an opportunity to explore her character more fully to enrich the group's dynamics.
  • Thematically, the scene effectively reinforces the central conflict between idealism (Mark and Sean's vision of 'coolness' over profit) and pragmatism (Eduardo's focus on monetization), but it could benefit from more visual storytelling to complement the dialogue. For instance, while the restaurant setting is described, there's little emphasis on physical actions or expressions that could convey tension, such as Eduardo's body language shifting from confident to frustrated, which might make the scene more cinematic and less reliant on voice-over and spoken words.
  • Pacing is generally brisk, with the voice-over and quick cuts keeping the energy high, but the ending feels abrupt with Eduardo's sarcastic 'You?' response cutting back to the deposition without a strong emotional beat or resolution. This could leave the audience feeling unsatisfied, as the conflict escalates but doesn't culminate in a memorable moment, potentially weakening the scene's impact in a film that relies on building tension across multiple vignettes.
Suggestions
  • To reduce repetition in intercutting, introduce a unique visual element, such as a specific lighting scheme or recurring prop (e.g., a particular glass or document in the deposition room), to signal transitions more distinctly and help differentiate this scene from previous ones like scene 37.
  • Refine the dialogue to add more subtext and naturalism; for example, instead of Eduardo directly asking Sean to 'settle an argument,' have him probe Sean's views through a more casual, probing question that reveals his insecurities, making the conversation feel less staged and more authentic to real interpersonal dynamics.
  • Expand Christy's character involvement by giving her a line or action that ties into the theme, such as commenting on the 'coolness' factor from a user's perspective or showing subtle disapproval of Eduardo, which could add layers to her relationship with both men and make her more than just a side character.
  • Incorporate more visual cues to enhance emotional depth; for instance, show close-ups of facial expressions or hand gestures during key lines (e.g., Eduardo clenching his fist when claiming credit) to convey unspoken tension, reducing reliance on voice-over and making the scene more engaging for visual storytelling.
  • Strengthen the ending by extending the moment after Eduardo's 'You?' retort to include a brief pause or reaction shot from Sean and Mark, allowing for a small emotional payoff that ties into the larger narrative arc and ensures the scene feels complete before cutting back to the deposition.



Scene 39 - The Billion-Dollar Dream
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
A billion dollars.
(beat)
And that shut everybody up.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. 66 - NIGHT
SEAN
And that’s where you’re headed. A billion
dollar valuation. Unless you take bad
advice in which case you may as well have
come up with a chain of very successful
yogurt shops. When you go fishing you can
catch a lot of fish or you can catch a
big fish. You ever walk into a guy’s den
and see a picture of him standing next to
fourteen trout?
CHRISTY
No, he’s holding a 3000 pound marlin.
SEAN
Yep.
MARK
That’s a good analogy.
EDUARDO
Okay, but we all know that marlins don’t
really weigh 3000 pounds, right?
CHRISTY
Have you seen the big ones up close?
EDUARDO
I haven’t but I don’t think the guy’s
holding a marlin the size of a Range
Rover. That would be a really big fish
and a very strong guy.
CHRISTY
You think we might be getting away from
the point?

SEAN
I don’t have a dog in this fight. I’m
just a fan who came to say hi.
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
He owned Mark after that dinner.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. 66 - NIGHT
SEAN’s signing the check.
EDUARDO (V.O.)
He picked up the check, he told Mark
they’d talk again soon and he was gone.
But not before he made his biggest
contribution to the company.
SEAN
(signing the check)
Drop the “the”. Just Facebook. It’s
cleaner.
And SEAN heads out, patting backs and kissing waitresses along
the way.
After a moment...
MARK
(knocked out)
Shit.
INT. NY TAXICAB - NIGHT
EDUARDO
That’s gotta be some kind of land speed
record for talking.
MARK
You want to end the party at eleven.
EDUARDO
I’m trying to pay for the party.
MARK
There won’t be a party unless it’s cool.
(beat)
What’d you think?
EDUARDO
Sure, let’s drop the “the”.

MARK
I meant catching the marlin instead of
the 14 trout. Doesn’t that sound good?
EDUARDO
If you’re a trout.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a deposition room, Eduardo reflects on a pivotal past moment involving Sean Parker's charismatic influence on Mark Zuckerberg's vision for their company. Flashbacks reveal a lively nightclub scene where Sean uses a fishing analogy to inspire ambition for a billion-dollar valuation, prompting humorous skepticism from Eduardo and Christy. The scene shifts to a New York taxicab where Mark and Eduardo discuss the meeting's implications, balancing the need for 'coolness' with financial practicality. The scene captures the excitement of ambition contrasted with serious reflections on the company's future.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Effective character dynamics
  • Balanced humor and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive banter
  • Limited physical action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances humor, tension, and character dynamics, providing insight into the conflicting viewpoints and ambitions of the main characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the tensions and ambitions surrounding Facebook's growth and potential valuation is compelling and drives the scene forward with meaningful character interactions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progression in the scene is driven by the discussions around Facebook's future direction, adding depth to the characters and setting up potential conflicts and resolutions.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to depicting business negotiations by incorporating humorous analogies and character interactions that add depth and authenticity. The dialogue feels genuine and engaging, contributing to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and conflicting motivations that create engaging dynamics and drive the scene's narrative forward.

Character Changes: 7

There is a moderate level of character change, particularly in terms of shifting perspectives and ambitions, setting the stage for potential growth and conflict resolution.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his understanding and perspective amidst the discussions about business strategies and valuations. This reflects his need to be seen as knowledgeable and relevant in the high-pressure business world he is a part of.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate the social dynamics and business decisions effectively, ensuring his place and influence within the company. This goal reflects the immediate challenges and power struggles he faces in the business environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The scene maintains a high level of conflict through the differing viewpoints and ambitions of the characters, creating tension and driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with subtle power dynamics and conflicting viewpoints adding tension and uncertainty to the characters' interactions. The audience is left wondering about the outcomes of the business negotiations and personal dynamics.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in terms of the future valuation and direction of Facebook, as well as the potential impact on the characters' relationships and ambitions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by setting up key conflicts, revealing character motivations, and hinting at future developments within the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected shifts between serious business discussions and light-hearted banter, keeping the audience on their toes and engaged in the characters' interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene revolves around differing perspectives on success, business strategies, and the importance of details. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about what truly matters in achieving success and making impactful contributions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a moderate emotional impact through the character dynamics and conflicting motivations, adding depth to the interactions and setting up potential resolutions.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the characters' personalities and conflicts effectively, adding depth to the scene and driving the interactions forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, tension, and character dynamics that keep the audience invested in the unfolding business negotiations and personal interactions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue-heavy moments with brief action sequences, creating a dynamic rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and maintains the scene's momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character cues, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and visual clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, transitioning smoothly between different locations and character interactions while maintaining a coherent narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting between the deposition room and the flashback to maintain the film's thematic structure of reflecting on past events through legal scrutiny, which helps build tension and provide context for character motivations. However, this technique risks becoming repetitive if overused, as it has been in previous scenes, potentially diluting the emotional impact by making the audience feel like they're in a cycle of testimony and recollection rather than progressing the story. In this specific scene, the deposition framing with Eduardo's voice-over succinctly summarizes the stakes, but it could be more integrated to show his current emotional state, making the critique feel more personal and less expository.
  • The dialogue in the flashback restaurant sequence is sharp and revealing of character dynamics, particularly Sean's charismatic manipulation and Eduardo's growing frustration, which underscores the central conflict of differing visions for the company. However, the fishing analogy feels somewhat contrived and overly simplistic, serving as a direct metaphor for ambition that might come across as heavy-handed. This could alienate viewers who find it too on-the-nose, especially since Eduardo's immediate skepticism and the banter about the marlin's weight introduce humor that lightens the tone but might undercut the scene's intended gravity about billion-dollar valuations. Balancing humor with serious business discussions is challenging, and here it risks making the high-stakes conversation feel less urgent.
  • Character interactions are well-defined, with Sean's entrance and departure showcasing his larger-than-life personality, contrasting effectively with Eduardo's grounded skepticism and Mark's quiet admiration. This highlights the power dynamics at play, but Eduardo's role as the voice of reason is somewhat underdeveloped; his lines, like questioning the marlin's weight, come off as petty rather than insightful, potentially reducing his character to a comic foil rather than a legitimate business partner with valid concerns. Additionally, Christy's interventions, such as asking if they're getting away from the point, add levity but don't contribute much to her character arc, making her presence feel peripheral and underutilized in a scene that could explore gender dynamics or her alliance with Mark more deeply.
  • Visually, the scene uses Sean's actions—signing the check, patting backs, and kissing waitresses—to convey his social prowess and influence, which is a strong cinematic choice that reinforces his character without relying solely on dialogue. However, the transitions between settings could be smoother; the cut from the restaurant to the taxi feels abrupt and disconnected, missing an opportunity to use visual motifs (like the check or the restaurant's ambiance) to link the sequences more fluidly. This disjointedness might confuse viewers about the timeline or emotional flow, especially in a film that heavily relies on flashbacks.
  • Thematically, the scene advances the narrative by planting the seed for future conflicts, such as the name change to 'Facebook' and the pursuit of massive valuation, which ties into the broader story of ambition and betrayal. Yet, it lacks subtlety in foreshadowing; Sean's advice to 'drop the "the"' is a pivotal moment, but it's delivered too casually, diminishing its impact. The scene could better explore the psychological toll on Eduardo, showing how this encounter erodes his confidence, to make the critique more resonant for readers and help the writer deepen the emotional stakes in preparation for later events like the share dilution.
Suggestions
  • Refine the fishing analogy to make it more organic to the conversation, perhaps by having Sean tie it to a personal anecdote from his Napster days, which could add depth and make it feel less like a scripted metaphor, improving character authenticity and engagement.
  • Strengthen Eduardo's dialogue to emphasize his business acumen rather than sarcasm; for example, have him counter with a practical example from his own experiences, like his advertising efforts, to heighten the conflict and make his character more sympathetic and multidimensional.
  • Enhance the intercutting by adding visual or auditory transitions, such as a sound bridge or a recurring motif (e.g., the sound of a pen signing in both deposition and flashback), to create a more seamless flow between past and present, reducing potential confusion and increasing narrative cohesion.
  • Develop Christy's role by giving her a line that reveals her stake in the company or her relationship with Mark, such as commenting on how the name change affects user perception, to make her more than a side character and add layers to the group dynamics.
  • Shorten the humorous banter about the marlin's weight to tighten pacing, and use the saved space to add a moment of silent reflection for Mark or Eduardo, showing their internal reactions through close-ups, which would build tension and allow for more visual storytelling to complement the dialogue-driven scene.



Scene 40 - The Accusation
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GRETCHEN
I’m going to enter this into the record.
Incorporation papers for Facebook, an LLC
registered in Florida--
(to EDUARDO for the record)
Why Florida?
EDUARDO
That’s where my family lives.
GRETCHEN
--and ask the respondent to stipulate
that the articles of incorporation state
the ownership as follows: 65 percent for
Mark Zuckerberg, 30 percent for Eduardo
Saverin and 5 percent for Dustin
Moskovitz.
SY
We stipulate.
GRETCHEN
And that was April 13th, 2004.
SY
You can mark it.
GRETCHEN
(to SY)
Do you have anything here?
SY
Yes, thank you. Mr. Saverin, have you
ever done anything that might be
considered legitimate grounds for
termination?
EDUARDO
No.
SY
You never did anything to embarrass the
company or even seriously jeopardize it?

EDUARDO
(beat)
No.
SY
No?
EDUARDO
No.
SY
You were accused of animal cruelty.
EDUARDO
(pause)
Wait--
SY
You weren’t?
EDUARDO
This isn’t happening.
SY
I have an article here from The Crimson--
EDUARDO
Jesus Christ--
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - DAY
MARK
I can’t have this, Wardo.
MARK’s talking about the Crimson article in his hand. EDUARDO
is standing next to a crate that’s holding--wait for it--a
live chicken.
DUSTIN is sitting at the desktop computer staring at something
intently.
EDUARDO
Oh come one, this is bullshit, this is
another club playing a prank.
CUT BACK TO:

INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
I’d gotten into the Phoenix. I’d been
accepted and as part of my initiation I
had to, for one week, carry with me at
all times and take of, a chicken.
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - DAY
MARK
They identify you as one of the founders
of Facebook. “Junior Eduardo Saverin”--
I’m not the expert but being connected to
torturing animals is probably bad for
business.
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
I did not torture the chicken, I don’t
torture chickens, are you crazy?
SY
No and settle down please. I have here
an article from the Crimson--
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - DAY
MARK
This is scathing.
DUSTIN
(without looking up)
Nine-hundred and fifty-six.
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
(trying to be calm)
I was having dinner in the Kirkland
Dining Hall with Mark and I had the
chicken with me because I had to have the
chicken with me at all times. This was
college.
CUT TO:

INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - DAY
MARK
Somebody’s gonna have to answer for this.
DUSTIN
Nine--hundred sixty-nine.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In a tense deposition room, Gretchen introduces Facebook's incorporation papers while Sy aggressively questions Eduardo about potential grounds for termination, referencing an article accusing him of animal cruelty. Eduardo defends himself, explaining the incident involving a chicken as a harmless college prank, but becomes increasingly frustrated under Sy's scrutiny. Flashbacks to Mark's dorm room reveal the context of the initiation ritual and Mark's concerns about the article's impact on Facebook's reputation. The scene highlights the conflict between personal actions and business implications, culminating in a sense of unresolved tension.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys tension and conflict through dialogue and character interactions. The mix of defensive and sarcastic tones adds depth to the characters and plot, making it engaging for the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring legal issues and personal conflicts within a deposition setting is intriguing. The incorporation papers and animal cruelty accusations add depth to the characters and their relationships.

Plot: 8.5

The plot unfolds smoothly, revealing conflicts and tensions between characters through the discussion of ownership, past incidents, and personal dynamics. The incorporation papers and Crimson article subplot adds intrigue to the overall narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the protagonist's dilemma by intertwining legal proceedings with personal accusations, creating a unique blend of corporate drama and personal conflict. The authenticity of the characters' reactions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions showcase defensiveness, frustration, and sarcasm, adding layers to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions and revelations hint at potential shifts in relationships and dynamics in future developments.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to defend his reputation and integrity against accusations of animal cruelty, which threaten his standing and credibility. This reflects his deeper need for validation and respect, as well as his fear of being unjustly tarnished.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the legal proceedings and protect his ownership stake in Facebook. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of defending his position and reputation in the face of legal scrutiny.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high, with characters facing accusations, tensions, and personal challenges. The deposition room setting intensifies the conflict, creating a compelling narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenging accusations and conflicting narratives that create uncertainty and tension for both the characters and the audience.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as characters face legal accusations, ownership disputes, and personal integrity challenges. The outcome of the deposition could have significant consequences for the characters involved.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about ownership, past incidents, and character dynamics. It sets the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected accusations and revelations that challenge the protagonist's narrative and create suspense for the audience.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between personal integrity and public perception. The protagonist's belief in his innocence and ethical standards is challenged by external accusations and the need to manage his public image.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes emotions of tension, frustration, and defiance, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles and conflicts. The emotional impact is significant in driving the narrative forward.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, reflecting the tense and confrontational nature of a legal deposition. The characters' exchanges are engaging and reveal their inner conflicts and motivations effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, conflict-driven dialogue, and the unfolding mystery surrounding the protagonist's actions and motivations.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense through well-timed dialogue exchanges, character reactions, and scene transitions that maintain the momentum of the narrative.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard screenplay format for dialogue, character actions, and scene descriptions, enhancing the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a legal drama genre, with clear dialogue exchanges, character actions, and scene transitions that maintain the pacing and tension of the narrative.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the deposition room and the flashback to Mark's dorm effectively builds tension by contrasting past and present, highlighting how historical events influence current conflicts. However, the transitions feel somewhat abrupt, lacking smooth visual or auditory cues that could better integrate the two timelines, potentially confusing viewers or diluting the emotional impact if not handled carefully in editing.
  • The animal cruelty accusation serves as a humorous and ironic element that underscores themes of social embarrassment and reputational damage in the digital age, but it risks undermining the scene's seriousness. In a high-stakes legal drama about corporate betrayal, this subplot might come across as trivial or comedic, which could lessen the gravity of Eduardo's character arc and the overall narrative tension, making it feel like a detour rather than a pivotal moment.
  • Dialogue in the deposition is repetitive, with Eduardo repeatedly denying the accusations, which can slow the pacing and reduce engagement. This repetition emphasizes his defensiveness but doesn't add new layers to the conversation, potentially making the scene feel stagnant and less dynamic, especially when compared to the more vivid flashback exchanges that show character interactions.
  • Eduardo's agitation and denial reveal his vulnerability and frustration, which is a strength in character development, but the scene misses an opportunity to delve deeper into his emotional state or provide insight into how this incident reflects his broader insecurities about his role in the company. This could make his portrayal feel one-dimensional, focusing more on reaction than introspection, which might not fully resonate with audiences in understanding his motivations.
  • The scene effectively ties into the larger themes of trust, ambition, and the consequences of past actions, but the connection could be more explicit. For instance, linking the chicken incident more directly to how social media amplifies personal flaws could strengthen thematic coherence, currently, it feels somewhat isolated, which might weaken its impact in the context of the entire screenplay about Facebook's origins.
  • Visually, the scene uses the deposition room's sterile environment and the dorm room's casual chaos to good effect, contrasting formality with informality, but it lacks additional descriptive elements that could heighten tension, such as close-ups on facial expressions, the article in Sy's hand, or the chicken itself as a symbolic object. This could make the scene more visually engaging and help convey subtext without relying solely on dialogue.
Suggestions
  • Refine the intercutting by adding transitional elements, such as a recurring sound motif (e.g., the sound of pages turning in the deposition room mirroring the rustling of the newspaper in the flashback) or visual parallels (e.g., Eduardo's facial expressions in both timelines) to create a smoother flow and enhance the emotional continuity between past and present.
  • Elevate the animal cruelty subplot by making it more thematically relevant; for example, draw a parallel between the chicken incident and how social media exposes and exaggerates personal vulnerabilities, perhaps through Eduardo's internal monologue or a line of dialogue that connects it to the risks of online publicity, to make it feel less like comic relief and more integral to the story.
  • Tighten the dialogue by reducing redundant denials and incorporating more subtext; for instance, have Eduardo's responses reveal underlying guilt or defensiveness through implication rather than direct repetition, which would improve pacing and make the exchanges more concise and impactful.
  • Deepen Eduardo's character portrayal by adding a moment of reflection or a brief flashback within the flashback that shows his initial excitement about joining the Phoenix club, contrasting with his current regret, to provide more emotional depth and help audiences empathize with his journey.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by having a character explicitly reference how this incident mirrors larger issues in the story, such as Mark commenting on how 'online reputations matter' during the dorm scene, to better connect the subplot to the core themes of social dynamics and digital legacy, ensuring the scene contributes more directly to the overall narrative.
  • Enhance visual storytelling by incorporating more descriptive directions, such as close-ups on the Crimson article or the chicken crate, and using lighting to symbolize exposure (e.g., harsh lights in the deposition room vs. dimmer, more intimate lighting in the dorm), which would make the scene more cinematic and engaging without altering the dialogue significantly.



Scene 41 - Accusations and Artful Deceptions
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
EDUARDO
The dining hall was serving chicken for
dinner and I had to feed my chicken so I
just...I took little pieces of chicken
and I gave it to the chicken. Someone
must have seen me because the next thing
I knew I was being accused of forced
cannibalism.
At the end of the table, MARYLIN tries but fails to stifle a
small laugh.
EDUARDO looks down the table...MARYLIN does her best to look
serious.
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
I didn’t know you can’t do that. I dealt
with the various animal rights groups, I
dealt with the Associate Dean of the
College, this was all resolved.
CUT TO:
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - DAY
DUSTIN
Nine-hundred and eighty-eight.
EDUARDO
Someone from the Porc or the Fly must
have reported it. For all I know it was
the Winklevosses.
MARK
Alright, let’s just forget about it.
EDUARDO
This is absurd. I’m being accused of
animal cruelty. It’s better to be accused
of necrophilia.
MARK
It is better to be accused of necro--

EDUARDO
I’m going to have to explain this to my
father, I’m going to have to explain this
to everybody, I’m going to have to--what
is happening on that?
EDUARDO’s referring to a laptop that’s open and displaying
images of four paintings.
MARK
I have my final coming up for “Postwar
and Contemporary Art” and I haven’t been
to class. I’m supposed to write about
those four paintings.
EDUARDO
That’s a Facebook page.
MARK
Yeah, I opened it under an alias. I
posted the paintings and asked people to
comment. Every once in a while I hop on
and stir the pot to get a good debate
going.
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GRETCHEN
Mr. Zuckerberg was cheating on his final
exam?
EDUARDO
I’d rather not answer that, Gretchen.
GRETCHEN
Why not?
EDUARDO
Because I’m not suing him for cheating on
his final exam that’s not what friends
do.
GRETCHEN
Well you just told us he was cheating.
EDUARDO
Oops.
(to MARK)
You told your lawyers I was torturing
animals?!
SY
No, he didn’t tell us about it at all.
Our litigators are capable of finding a
Crimson article. In fact when we raised
the subject with him he defended you.

MARK
(beat)
Oops.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In scene 41, Eduardo humorously recounts a college incident involving a false accusation of forced cannibalism, causing laughter from Marilyn. The scene shifts to a flashback in Mark's dorm, where Eduardo learns Mark is cheating on his art exam using a fake Facebook page. Back in the deposition room, Gretchen questions Eduardo about Mark's cheating, leading to a light-hearted exchange where Eduardo accuses Mark of sharing details about his past, only for Sy to clarify that their team found the information independently. The scene concludes with Mark's casual 'Oops' after inadvertently confirming a detail.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Effective use of humor
  • Character depth and development
Weaknesses
  • Potential tonal shifts between humor and seriousness

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines tension and humor, introduces a unique conflict with the animal cruelty accusation, and advances the plot through character interactions and revelations.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the fallout from the animal cruelty accusation adds depth to the characters and highlights their relationships and reactions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances through the revelation of the animal cruelty accusation, the characters' responses, and the interplay between past and present events.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces original situations such as the protagonist's unconventional defense strategy and the unexpected revelations about academic dishonesty. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's freshness.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters show depth through their reactions to the accusation, their humor in dealing with the situation, and their evolving dynamics.

Character Changes: 8

Characters experience shifts in perception and behavior due to the accusation, showcasing their adaptability and resilience.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to defend his actions and reputation amidst accusations and misunderstandings. This reflects his need for validation, fear of being judged unfairly, and desire to maintain his integrity.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to address the accusations of animal cruelty and academic dishonesty. This reflects the immediate challenges he faces in clearing his name and reputation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict arises from the animal cruelty accusation, leading to tension, humor, and character revelations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, presenting challenges and conflicts that test the characters' relationships and beliefs. The uncertainty of outcomes adds depth and suspense to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are raised by the serious accusation of animal cruelty, impacting the characters' reputations and relationships.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story by introducing a significant conflict, deepening character relationships, and setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected turns in the characters' actions and revelations. The shifting dynamics and conflicting motivations create suspense and intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around loyalty, honesty, and the boundaries of friendship. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about trust, integrity, and the complexities of personal relationships.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits emotions through humor, frustration, and defensiveness, engaging the audience in the characters' predicament.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals character traits and conflicts effectively, enhancing the scene's impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, tension, and character dynamics. The witty dialogue and unexpected twists keep the audience invested in the unfolding conflicts and revelations.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively balances dialogue-driven moments with action and revelations, maintaining a dynamic rhythm that keeps the audience engaged. It builds tension and suspense while allowing for character development.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting aligns with the genre's standards, presenting dialogue and scene descriptions in a clear and organized manner. It enhances readability and supports the scene's pacing.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure, transitioning smoothly between locations and character interactions. It maintains a clear focus on the protagonist's goals and conflicts, adhering to genre expectations.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting between the deposition room and the flashback to Mark's dorm room, which maintains the film's established style of juxtaposing past and present to reveal character motivations and build tension. This technique helps the audience understand Eduardo's ongoing frustration and sense of betrayal, tying into the larger themes of friendship, ambition, and the consequences of impulsive actions. However, the transition from Eduardo's anecdote about the cannibalism accusation to discovering Mark's cheating feels somewhat disjointed, as the leap in topics might confuse viewers not fully immersed in the narrative, potentially diluting the emotional impact.
  • Dialogue in this scene is sharp and humorous, particularly with lines like 'Oops' from both Eduardo and Mark, which highlight their dynamic and add levity to the serious deposition setting. This contrast underscores Mark's nonchalant attitude and Eduardo's growing resentment, making their deteriorating relationship more palpable. That said, the humor around the absurd cannibalism story risks overshadowing the deeper emotional undercurrents, such as Eduardo's vulnerability in dealing with his father's disappointment and the professional repercussions, which could be explored more deeply to give the scene greater weight and resonance within the screenplay's exploration of social isolation and ethical lapses.
  • The scene advances character development by showing Eduardo's defensive nature and Mark's manipulative tendencies through indirect actions, like using a fake Facebook page to cheat. This fits well into the overall arc of the script, where Mark's genius is increasingly portrayed as socially destructive. However, the pacing feels rushed in the flashback segments, with quick cuts that might not allow enough time for the audience to absorb the implications of Mark's cheating or Eduardo's accusation, potentially weakening the buildup of conflict that should be escalating towards the film's climax in later scenes.
  • Visually, the deposition room's sterile environment contrasts effectively with the cluttered, lived-in feel of Mark's dorm room, emphasizing the theme of isolation versus collaboration. Marylin's brief appearance adds a human touch, breaking the tension with her stifled laugh, which humanizes the legal proceedings. Nonetheless, the scene could benefit from more subtle visual cues, such as closer shots on Eduardo's facial expressions during his testimony, to convey his internal conflict more vividly, as the current description relies heavily on dialogue to carry the emotional load, which might not fully engage visual storytelling elements inherent to screenwriting.
Suggestions
  • To improve cohesion, add a smoother narrative link between the cannibalism story and the cheating revelation, perhaps by having Eduardo's voice-over or a line of dialogue explicitly connect the two events as examples of how Mark's actions have repeatedly undermined him, making the scene feel more unified and purposeful.
  • Enhance emotional depth by incorporating more physical actions or reactions in the deposition room, such as Eduardo clenching his fists or pausing to compose himself, to visually convey his frustration and prevent the humor from dominating; this would balance the comedic elements with the dramatic tension and better serve character development.
  • Refine pacing by extending the flashback sequence slightly to allow for a beat where Eduardo processes Mark's cheating, perhaps with a reaction shot or a moment of silence, ensuring that key revelations build momentum without feeling abrupt, and aligning with the film's rhythm to heighten anticipation for future conflicts.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by emphasizing how Mark's use of Facebook for personal gain mirrors the company's broader ethical issues, such as through a subtle visual motif (e.g., the laptop screen reflecting in Eduardo's eyes), which could reinforce the screenplay's critique of technology's impact on relationships and make the scene more integral to the overall narrative.



Scene 42 - Tensions Rise in the Dorm Room
INT. MARK’S DORM ROOM - DAY
DUSTIN
Nine ninety-three, we are so close.
MARK
That reminds me, we’re gonna need more
money, Wardo.
EDUARDO
Yeah, no, I agree. More servers, more
help--
MARK
--I’m interviewing two interns to come to
Palo Alto and we’re gonna have to pay
them something.
EDUARDO
What?
MARK
I already found a house for rent on a
street two blocks from the Stanford
campus. It’s perfect and it’s got a pool.
EDUARDO
When did you decide to go to California
for the summer?
MARK
(beat)
You mean when did I actually decide?
EDUARDO
Somewhere in the middle of The Sean
Parker Variety Hour?
MARK
He was right. California’s the place
we’ve gotta be.
EDUARDO
You’re Jed Clampett?
MARK
I didn’t know you guys got The Beverly
Hillbillies in Bra--

EDUARDO
Yes, we got the show in Brazil, it was
genius.
MARK
What’s your problem with Sean?
EDUARDO
He doesn’t bring anything to the table.
He doesn’t have money, Dustin’s a better
programmer--
MARK
He’s got connections to VCs.
EDUARDO
We don’t need VCs, we need advertisers
and I’ve got connections to VCs.
MARK
The real players and--
EDUARDO
Look--
MARK
--as someone who’s just really
embarrassed the company in a bad way I
wouldn’t--
EDUARDO
It was the Winklevosses, Mark!
MARK
Hang on.
(to DUSTIN)
Hit refresh.
DUSTIN hits “refresh” on the desk-top computer. Then smiles...
DUSTIN
150,004.
MARK
150,000 members, Wardo.
EDUARDO
(beat--sincerely)
Congratulations, dude.
MARK
Congratulations.
EDUARDO
(beat)
You don’t think it was strange that he
was followed by private detectives?

MARK
Who came up with nothing.
EDUARDO
Enough to get him out of the company. The
drugs, the girls--
MARK
We don’t know any of that’s true.
EDUARDO
You can read about it.
MARK
And I can read about you torturing birds.
Since when does reading something--
EDUARDO
Don’t fish eat other fish?! The marlins
and the trout?!
DUSTIN
What’s he talking about?
MARK
I’m interviewing interns at 10 tomorrow
night in the CS lab. Get on board with
this, man. You know, I don’t know what
else to say.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In scene 42, set in Mark's dorm room, Dustin announces they are nearing 993 members, prompting Mark to discuss the need for more funding and his plans to move to Palo Alto. This leads to a heated argument between Mark and Eduardo over the influence of Sean Parker and the direction of their project. Eduardo expresses distrust towards Sean, while Mark defends him, escalating their conflict. Amidst personal jabs and a brief celebration of reaching 150,000 members, Mark urges Eduardo to support the move and hiring interns, leaving their disagreement unresolved.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Plot advancement
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive arguments
  • Lack of resolution on certain conflicts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and humor through the dialogue and character interactions, setting up important conflicts and decisions for the plot.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the decision to move the company to California and the disagreements between characters, providing a crucial turning point in the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as Mark decides to relocate the company, setting up conflicts and character dynamics that will impact future events.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh dynamics through the characters' banter and conflicting viewpoints. The authenticity of the dialogue and the characters' actions add originality to the familiar setting of a tech-focused environment.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and conflicting motivations that drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Mark's decision to move to California and the conflicts with Eduardo showcase character development and shifting dynamics within the group.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to assert his vision and decisions, showcasing his confidence and determination in leading the company. This reflects his need for control, validation of his ideas, and desire for success.

External Goal: 7.5

Mark's external goal is to expand the company by hiring interns, securing a house in California, and discussing business strategies with Eduardo. This reflects his immediate challenge of scaling the business and making strategic decisions for growth.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Mark and Eduardo, as well as the introduction of Sean Parker, adds depth and tension to the scene, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and tensions between the characters creating obstacles and uncertainties that drive the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters face crucial decisions about the company's future and their relationships with each other.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key decisions and conflicts that will shape future events.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in character interactions and the shifting dynamics, keeping the audience intrigued about the outcomes of the business decisions and conflicts.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around differing views on business strategies and partnerships. Eduardo emphasizes the importance of advertisers over VCs, while Mark values Sean's connections. This challenges Mark's beliefs in the company's direction and the significance of various connections in business success.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions from tension to humor, engaging the audience in the characters' struggles and disagreements.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals the tensions and humor between the characters, effectively conveying their conflicting viewpoints and emotions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the rapid-fire dialogue, conflicting viewpoints, and the sense of urgency in decision-making, keeping the audience invested in the characters' dynamics and the unfolding business drama.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum through rapid dialogue exchanges and strategic pauses, enhancing the scene's impact and maintaining audience interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to standard screenplay conventions, making the scene easy to follow and understand.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format typical of dialogue-driven screenplay scenes, effectively conveying character interactions and advancing the plot.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the escalating tension between Mark and Eduardo, showcasing their contrasting personalities and visions for the company. Mark's ambition and forward-thinking drive are contrasted with Eduardo's caution and feelings of exclusion, which ties into the broader themes of betrayal and social dynamics in the screenplay. This conflict feels organic and builds on previous scenes, making it relatable for viewers familiar with the story's arc, but it could benefit from more subtle foreshadowing to heighten emotional impact for newcomers.
  • Dialogue in the scene is sharp and revealing, particularly in how it exposes character flaws and relationships—such as Eduardo's sarcasm and Mark's defensiveness. However, some lines come across as overly expository, like the direct references to Sean Parker and past events (e.g., the Winklevosses or the fishing analogy), which can feel like they're telling the audience information rather than showing it through action or subtext. This reduces the scene's nuance and might make it less engaging for viewers who prefer implied storytelling.
  • Pacing is brisk, which suits the high-stakes argument, but it risks feeling crowded with multiple topics (money, interns, Sean's influence, user count) packed into a short sequence. This can dilute the focus on the core conflict—the decision to move to California—and make the scene overwhelming. Additionally, Dustin's role is minimal and functional (e.g., hitting refresh), which underutilizes a supporting character who could add more depth or comic relief, as seen in earlier scenes.
  • Visually, the scene is set in a familiar dorm room environment, which reinforces the characters' youth and the startup's humble beginnings, but it lacks descriptive elements that could enhance cinematic quality. For instance, more attention to physical reactions, like Eduardo's body language showing frustration or Mark's intense focus, could make the emotions more vivid and immersive. The congratulatory moment on reaching 150,000 members provides a nice contrast to the conflict, but it feels somewhat contrived and could be integrated more seamlessly to avoid interrupting the argument's flow.
  • Overall, the scene advances the plot by deepening the rift between Mark and Eduardo, setting up future betrayals, but it ends abruptly without a strong resolution or emotional payoff. This might leave viewers unsatisfied, as Mark's final line urging Eduardo to 'get on board' lacks a memorable beat or transition that could better connect to the next scene. Strengthening the ending could improve the scene's impact and make it a more pivotal moment in the narrative.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements, such as close-ups on characters' faces during key lines or symbolic actions (e.g., Eduardo clenching his fists or Mark glancing at the computer screen), to convey emotions and reduce reliance on dialogue for exposition.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it more concise and natural; for example, weave references to past events like the Winklevosses or the fishing analogy into the conversation more organically, perhaps through indirect allusions or shared looks, to avoid feeling like info-dumps.
  • Expand Dustin's involvement by giving him a line or reaction that comments on the argument, such as a humorous aside about the user count growth amidst the chaos, to add balance and utilize supporting characters more effectively.
  • Streamline the scene's structure by prioritizing the main conflict (the move to California and Sean's influence) and integrating secondary elements like the user count refresh more fluidly, perhaps by having it interrupt the argument at a tension peak to heighten drama.
  • Enhance the scene's conclusion with a stronger emotional or visual cue, such as a lingering shot of Eduardo's reaction or a subtle foreshadowing of his decision, to provide closure and better segue into the next scene, increasing overall dramatic tension.



Scene 43 - The Contest and the Consequences
INT. COMPUTER SCIENCE BUILDING/BASEMENT CORRIDOR - NIGHT
EDUARDO steps through double doors and stops for a moment as
he HEARS an odd sound--RAUCOUS CHEERING from a CROWD that’s
gathered in one of the classrooms.
EDUARDO walks down to the classroom, opens the door and walks
into--
INT. CLASSROOM - NIGHT
--where 60 or so STUDENTS are in a semi-circle, five and six
deep, cheering on the contestants for the internship.
All the desks in the room have been moved to the sides and
five desks with laptops set up in the middle. Next to each
laptop is a shot glass filled with Jack Daniels.
DUSTIN’s holding a watch and MARK is walking slowly back and
forth behind the five “interviewees” who are intensely typing
at their keyboards.
EDUARDO slowly makes his way through the crowd to MARK. He can
see that on the computer screens are a whole lot of numbers
and letters that neither he nor we can understand.

He stands next to MARK and watches this for a moment. Every
once in a while, one of the contestants will throw back their
shot of Jack Daniels which will instantly get re-filled by a
PRETTY ASIAN GIRL. Throughout all this the CHEERING CONTINUES.
DUSTIN
(waving EDUARDO over)
Eduardo!
EDUARDO
(pause)
Yo. Mark?
MARK
Yeah.
EDUARDO
What’s goin’ on?
MARK
They have 10 minutes to get root access
to a Python webserver, expose its SSL
encryption and then intercept all traffic
over its secure port.
EDUARDO
They’re hacking.
MARK
Yes, all behind a Pix Firewall Emulator.
But here’s the beauty.
EDUARDO
You know I didn’t understand anything you
just said, right?
MARK
I do know that.
EDUARDO
What’s the beauty?
MARK
Every 10th line of code written, they
have to drink a shot. And hacking’s
supposed to be stealth, so anytime the
server detects an intrusion, the
candidate responsible has to drink a
shot. I also have a program running that
has a pop-up window appear simultaneously
on all five computers--the last candidate
to hit the window has to drink a shot.
Plus every three minutes they all have to
drink a shot.
DUSTIN
(calling out)
Three minutes.

All five candidates drain their shot glasses and slam them
down where they get re-filled by the pretty Asian girl.
EDUARDO
Can I ask--what part of the interns’ jobs
will they need to be able to do drunk?
MARK
You’re right. A more relevant test might
be seeing if they can keep a chicken
alive for a week.
(pause)
That was mean.
EDUARDO hands MARK a thick envelope--
EDUARDO
Here.
MARK
What’s this?
EDUARDO
I opened a new account and put $18,000 in
it. Will that get you through the summer?
MARK looks at EDUARDO...
Suddenly two of the candidates hands shoot up almost at the
same time--
INTERN [ERIC]
Here!
INTERN [IAN]
Right here!
MARK glances over at the first screen, then the second...
MARK
Welcome to Facebook.
The place ERUPTS. The pretty ASIAN GIRL hits an mp3 player
that’s been hooked up to speakers and a Dr. Dre song blares
out--”California, it’s time to party...”
The two winners are hugging each other and getting wild
congratulations from the crowd.
MARK looks back at EDUARDO and smiles...EDUARDO gives him a
pat on the back and we
CUT TO:

INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - DAY
GRETCHEN
$18,000.
EDUARDO
Yes.
GRETCHEN
In addition to the $1000 you’d already
put up.
EDUARDO
Yes.
GRETCHEN
A total of $19,000 now.
EDUARDO
Yes.
MARK
Hang on.
MARK’s scratching something out on a pad...
MARK (CONT’D)
I’m just checking your math on that. Yes,
I got the same thing.
GRETCHEN
May I continue?
MARK motions “yes”...
GRETCHEN (CONT’D)
(to EDUARDO)
After expressing misgivings about Mr.
Zuckerberg taking the company and moving
it to California for the summer, why did
you put $18,000 in an account for his
use?
EDUARDO
I figured we were partners and I wanted
to be a team player. I figured Mark,
Dustin and the new interns could work on
the site while I was generating
advertiser interest in New York. But
mostly I figured...how much could go
wrong in three months?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In scene 43, Eduardo enters a lively basement classroom where a chaotic internship contest is underway, featuring students competing to hack a Python webserver while drinking shots. Despite his concerns about the contest's relevance, Eduardo hands Mark $18,000 to support summer operations. The contest culminates in a celebration as interns Eric and Ian are declared winners. The scene shifts to a daytime deposition where lawyer Gretchen questions Eduardo about his investment, revealing tensions as he justifies his decisions amidst Mark's sarcastic interjections.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Tension-filled moments
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Slight predictability in character conflicts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor with tension, introduces a unique challenge for interns, and progresses the story by highlighting financial support and character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the internship challenge adds depth to the tech-focused narrative, showcasing the characters' skills and dynamics in a unique setting.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances through financial support discussions, character conflicts, and the introduction of the internship challenge, adding layers to the overall story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on hacking competitions by combining elements of humor, competition, and ethical dilemmas. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character interactions, conflicts, and dynamics are well-portrayed, especially in the humorous yet tense moments during the internship challenge.

Character Changes: 8

Character dynamics shift slightly, especially in the financial support discussion and the humor-tense moments of the internship challenge.

Internal Goal: 8

Eduardo's internal goal is to understand the nature of the competition and Mark's involvement in it. This reflects his desire for clarity in his relationships and a sense of belonging within the tech community.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to support Mark and the interns in their hacking competition, as seen through his financial contribution and presence at the event. This reflects his loyalty and commitment to the team.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The conflict arises from character disagreements, financial decisions, and the challenge dynamics, adding tension and humor to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with challenges presented through the hacking competition and the characters' conflicting motivations. The audience is kept engaged by the uncertainty of the outcome.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate, focusing on financial decisions, character dynamics, and the outcome of the internship challenge.

Story Forward: 9

The scene progresses the story by introducing financial support, character conflicts, and the internship challenge, moving the narrative forward effectively.

Unpredictability: 7.5

The scene is unpredictable in its portrayal of the hacking competition and the characters' reactions to unexpected challenges. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the events will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7.5

The scene presents a conflict between the ethical implications of hacking and the competitive nature of the tech industry. Eduardo's questioning of the interns' abilities to work drunk highlights a clash between professionalism and the unconventional methods of the competition.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits light-hearted emotions and tension, engaging the audience with character dynamics and challenges.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys humor, tension, and character traits, enhancing the scene's dynamics and engagement.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of suspense, humor, and technical intrigue. The dynamic interactions between characters and the high-stakes competition keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment of victory for the characters. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for the genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is formatted appropriately, enhancing readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and reveals character dynamics. The pacing and progression of events align with the genre expectations, keeping the audience engaged.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and high-energy atmosphere of a startup culture through the hacking contest, which serves as a metaphor for the risky, innovative spirit of Mark and his team. This visual and auditory spectacle, with cheering crowds and contestants chugging shots, contrasts sharply with Eduardo's bewilderment, highlighting his growing disconnection from Mark's world and reinforcing the theme of isolation amidst rapid success. However, the technical details of the hacking challenge may alienate non-tech-savvy audiences, as the jargon feels overly specific and could bog down the pace, making it harder for viewers to engage emotionally with the characters' conflicts.
  • Character dynamics are a strength here, particularly in showing the rift between Mark and Eduardo. Mark's sarcastic remark about the chicken ties back to previous scenes, providing continuity and humor that underscores his dismissive attitude, while Eduardo's practical questioning reveals his role as the voice of reason, building tension that foreshadows their eventual fallout. That said, Eduardo's line about the contest's relevance feels a bit on-the-nose and could benefit from more subtlety, as it directly states the audience's potential confusion without integrating it seamlessly into his character's emotional arc, which might make him seem like a mouthpiece for exposition rather than a fully fleshed-out individual.
  • The transition to the deposition room is handled well, creating a rhythmic contrast between the past's excitement and the present's introspection, which helps maintain the screenplay's overarching structure of intercutting timelines. This juxtaposition emphasizes how seemingly trivial moments, like the internship contest, contribute to larger conflicts, such as the dilution of Eduardo's role. However, the deposition segment feels somewhat repetitive with previous scenes, as it revisits themes of mistrust and financial decisions without introducing new insights, potentially diluting the impact and making the legal framing device feel formulaic at this point in the script.
  • Humor is effectively used, especially in Mark's chicken quip and the contest's absurdity, which lightens the tension and makes the scene memorable. Yet, this humor risks undermining the seriousness of the business stakes; for instance, the celebration at the end might come across as frivolous, contrasting with the high-pressure environment of a growing company. Additionally, the lack of deeper exploration into the interns' characters or the consequences of such a reckless hiring process misses an opportunity to add layers to the narrative, making the scene feel more like a set piece than a pivotal character moment.
  • Visually, the scene is vivid and cinematic, with elements like the crowded classroom, rapid typing, and shot-drinking adding kinetic energy that mirrors the script's theme of uncontrolled growth. However, the description could be more immersive by incorporating sensory details, such as the sound of keyboards clacking or the smell of alcohol, to draw the audience in. Furthermore, the abrupt cut to the deposition and the deposition dialogue itself is straightforward but lacks emotional depth, with Eduardo's explanation feeling expository and less engaging, which might cause the audience to lose interest in the legal interludes.
  • Overall, the scene advances the plot by showing Eduardo's financial commitment and Mark's unilateral decisions, heightening the conflict that drives the story. It successfully illustrates the theme of ambition's cost, but the balance between action and dialogue could be refined; the contest is engaging, yet it overshadows Eduardo's internal struggle, making his character arc feel secondary in this moment. This could be an opportunity to deepen the emotional stakes, but as it stands, the scene prioritizes spectacle over introspection, which might not fully serve the character's development in a screenplay that relies heavily on interpersonal drama.
Suggestions
  • Simplify the technical aspects of the hacking contest by using more accessible language or visual metaphors (e.g., comparing the challenge to a high-stakes game show) to make it relatable for a broader audience without losing the scene's energy, ensuring that the focus remains on character interactions rather than confusing details.
  • Enhance Eduardo's dialogue to make it more emotionally charged and less expository; for example, have him express his confusion about the contest in a way that ties directly to his fears of being sidelined, such as saying, 'This feels less like hiring and more like a party trick—am I the only one thinking about the real work?' to deepen his character and build sympathy.
  • Add subtle foreshadowing in the contest scene to hint at future problems, like a brief moment where an intern makes a mistake that could parallel larger company issues, or have Mark glance at Eduardo with a hint of guilt, to make the scene more integral to the overall narrative and reduce the sense of repetition in the deposition cuts.
  • Balance the humor by integrating it more organically; for instance, tone down the chicken reference if it's becoming a crutch, or use it to trigger a quick flashback that reminds the audience of past events without derailing the present action, ensuring that comedic elements support rather than overshadow the dramatic tension.
  • Incorporate more sensory and visual details to heighten immersion, such as describing the sweat on the contestants' brows, the glow of computer screens in the dim room, or Eduardo's facial expressions shifting from confusion to resignation, to make the scene more vivid and engaging for viewers.
  • Shorten the deposition segment or intercut it more dynamically with the contest to maintain pacing; consider ending the scene on a stronger emotional beat, like Eduardo's hesitant smile during the celebration, to emphasize his internal conflict and leave a lasting impression that transitions smoothly into the next scene.



Scene 44 - Zip Line Chaos and Unexpected Guests
EXT. PALO ALTO HOUSE - DAY
We’re outside of this small, campus-area house as LOUD MUSIC
plays. A zip line is tied from the chimney and runs down over
a small swimming pool where it’s attached to a telephone pole
on the other side.
MARK is standing in the pool and video taping as DUSTIN, who’s
on the roof, grabs the handle, takes off and jumps into the
pool to everyone’s cheers.
We HEAR the GUYS joke about the quality of the jump.
The handle gets pulled back on a rope, an INTERN grabs it,
jumps--
--and the brick chimney comes crashing down.
The INTERN drops into patio furniture as bricks from the
chimney come cascading down.
No one moves--
INTERN [ERIC]
I’m okay.
MARK
You sure?
ERIC
Yeah.
DUSTIN
Yikes.
And at that moment a stray brick drops from the roof and
crashes through a glass patio table.
From inside the DOORBELL RINGS--
DUSTIN (CONT’D)
That’s the doorbell.
MARK
I didn’t know we had a doorbell.
DUSTIN
(shouting inside)
Andrew! Get the door!
MARK
No, he’s wired in.
INTERN [IAN]
That’s gonna cut into the security
deposit.

MARK walks into--
INT. PALO ALTO HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
The place is computer geek paradise. Computers are everywhere,
along with some of the empty boxes they came in. Pizza boxes,
Chinese food containers, empty beer bottles and white boards
filled with indecipherable code fill the room. There are a
couple of large mattresses on the floor and a large map of the
U.S. with pins and tags showing the schools where they’ve
already put Facebook and different pins showing the schools
they’re going for.
As MARK walks to the door, he walks past ANDREW, who’s sitting
at a computer, writing code and completely oblivious to
everything around him.
MARK
(snapping his fingers)
Andrew.
ANDREW
Not now.
MARK
Good boy.
MARK gets to the door and opens it.
He’s stunned to see SEAN PARKER standing there with his
girlfriend, SHARON.
They all look at each other for a moment--
MARK (CONT’D)
Sean?
SEAN
Mark? Do you live here?
MARK
Yeah. Do you?
SEAN
We were right across the street, we saw
the chimney come--
MARK
Yeah.
SEAN
Is anybody hurt?
MARK
No. You live across the street?

SHARON
I’m Sharon.
SEAN
This is my--Sharon. She lives across the
street I was helping her move out when we
saw the chimney--
MARK
Yeah, we had a zip line to the pool.
SEAN
You came to California.
MARK
Yeah.
SEAN
You made the right choice.
CUT TO:
INT. PALO ALTO HOUSE - LATER
SEAN’s looking around the place. DUSTIN and the INTERNS are
standing off to the side, happy to be in the presence of Sean
Parker. ANDREW’s still locked into his computer. MARK’s off in
the kitchen.
MARK (OS)
Here you go.
A beer comes flying out of the kitchen and SEAN catches it.
MARK (OS) (CONT’D)
Sharon.
Another beer comes flying out which SHARON had no idea was
coming and so it smashes into the fireplace.
SHARON
(pause)
I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were--
MARK (OS)
(calling)
No problem. Here you go.
SHARON
Wait--
And another bottle comes flying out that SHARON isn’t ready
for and it crashes to the floor.
SEAN
This house and this team are great. It’s
exactly what it should be.
(MORE)

SEAN (CONT'D)
(to ANDREW)
I’m Sean Parker.
ANDREW pays no attention as MARK comes out of the kitchen--
MARK
He’s wired in.
SEAN
That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Where’s
Eduardo?
MARK
He’s got an internship in New York.
SEAN
(beat)
Eduardo didn’t come out?
MARK shakes his head, “No.”
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a lively scene set outside a cluttered house in Palo Alto, Mark films as Dustin and an intern, Eric, take turns on a zip line that leads into a swimming pool. The fun turns chaotic when Eric's jump causes the chimney to collapse, leading to a shower of bricks and a broken patio table. Amidst the laughter and banter about the mishap, Sean Parker and his girlfriend Sharon arrive, surprised by the commotion. Sean engages with the group, complimenting their setup and inquiring about Eduardo, who is interning in New York, hinting at underlying tensions within the team.
Strengths
  • Humorous interactions
  • Surprise element with Sean Parker's visit
  • Authentic character portrayal
Weaknesses
  • Low conflict level
  • Minimal plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, surprise, and casual interactions to engage the audience and provide a light-hearted moment amidst the ongoing tensions in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of an unexpected encounter leading to humorous interactions is well-executed, adding depth to the characters and providing a moment of levity in the narrative.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot progression is minimal in this scene, the introduction of Sean Parker and the dynamics between the characters contribute to the overall development of relationships and tone.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on tech culture, blending humor with moments of tension and showcasing authentic interactions among characters. The setting and dialogue feel genuine and original.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are portrayed authentically, with distinct personalities shining through in their interactions, adding depth and humor to the scene.

Character Changes: 5

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the dynamics between the characters are further established, setting the stage for potential developments.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to navigate social interactions and maintain connections with influential figures like Sean Parker, showcasing his desire for validation and acceptance in the tech world.

External Goal: 7.5

Mark's external goal is to impress Sean Parker and showcase the success and innovation of his tech team, reflecting his ambition and desire for recognition in the industry.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

The conflict level is low in this scene, focusing more on humor and character interactions rather than intense conflicts.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene, such as the chaotic events and social dynamics, adds tension and uncertainty, keeping the audience engaged and curious about the characters' outcomes.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on character dynamics and humor rather than high-stakes conflicts or events.

Story Forward: 7

The scene contributes to the overall narrative by introducing Sean Parker, showcasing character interactions, and adding depth to the relationships within the story.

Unpredictability: 7.5

The scene is unpredictable in its mix of chaotic events and unexpected character reactions, adding layers of intrigue and surprise.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The scene hints at a philosophical conflict between traditional norms and the disruptive, unconventional tech culture, as seen in the contrast between the house's chaotic setup and Sean Parker's more polished appearance.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6.5

The scene elicits a light-hearted and positive emotional response from the audience, primarily through humor and surprise elements.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging, witty, and reflective of the characters' personalities, enhancing the comedic and casual tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, tension, and character dynamics, keeping the audience intrigued and invested in the unfolding interactions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing effectively balances action sequences with dialogue, creating a dynamic rhythm that enhances the scene's comedic and dramatic moments.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting aligns with the genre expectations, providing clear descriptions of settings and character actions, enhancing the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure, transitioning smoothly between external and internal conflicts, and effectively introduces key characters like Sean Parker.


Critique
  • This scene effectively captures the chaotic and energetic atmosphere of a young tech startup, mirroring the real-world culture of innovation and recklessness depicted in 'The Social Network.' The opening with the zip line accident and chimney collapse provides strong visual comedy that immediately engages the audience, highlighting the informal, almost childish enthusiasm of Mark and his team. This not only humanizes the characters but also contrasts with the more serious business conflicts building in earlier scenes, such as Eduardo's deposition testimony about his investment. However, the humor risks overshadowing the narrative's deeper tensions; for instance, the absence of Eduardo is mentioned but not explored with enough weight, which could make the scene feel like a light interlude rather than a pivotal moment in character development. Additionally, Sean's introduction is handled well through surprise and casual dialogue, reinforcing his charismatic persona, but it lacks subtext that could hint at his manipulative influence, making his character arc feel somewhat abrupt in this context.
  • The dialogue in this scene is mostly naturalistic and witty, fitting the characters' personalities—Mark's sarcasm and Sean's confidence shine through in exchanges like 'Good boy' and the beer-catching mishap. This helps build rapport and humor, aiding audience understanding of the group's dynamics. However, some lines, such as Sean's compliments about the house and team, come across as overly expository, telling rather than showing Sean's admiration and strategic interest. This could alienate viewers if it feels too on-the-nose, and it doesn't fully capitalize on the opportunity to deepen interpersonal conflicts, like the implied rift with Eduardo, which is crucial for the story's progression. Furthermore, the scene's visual elements are strong, with detailed descriptions of the cluttered house and oblivious coder Andrew, but they might benefit from more integration with the film's themes of isolation and ambition, as seen in Mark's videotaping, which could symbolize his detachment or documentation obsession.
  • Pacing is generally brisk and energetic, driven by the physical comedy and quick cuts, which keeps the scene entertaining and true to the film's fast-paced style. However, the transition from the outdoor chaos to the indoor interactions feels somewhat disjointed, with the doorbell ringing and Sean's arrival not building as much suspense as it could. This scene serves as a breather from the deposition-heavy sequences, but it might not advance the plot enough, risking it feeling like filler despite its charm. Thematically, it reinforces the contrast between the fun, creative side of tech entrepreneurship and the underlying business ruthlessness, but it could better foreshadow Sean's role in escalating conflicts, making the critique more balanced by addressing how this scene fits into the larger narrative arc from Scene 43, where Eduardo's misgivings are highlighted.
  • Character development is evident, particularly in showing Mark's leadership in a relaxed setting and Sean's easy sociability, which contrasts with Eduardo's absence and sets up future betrayals. However, Sharon's character is underdeveloped; her presence adds to the comedic elements but doesn't contribute meaningfully, making her feel like a prop rather than a fully realized person. This could be an opportunity to explore gender dynamics or the social scene in Silicon Valley, but it's underutilized. Overall, the scene is visually rich and fun, but it might not fully engage readers or viewers emotionally if it prioritizes spectacle over character depth, especially when compared to the intense depositions that frame the story.
Suggestions
  • Enhance Sean's introduction by adding subtle hints of his ulterior motives through subtext in dialogue, such as having him probe about Eduardo's role more directly, to better connect this scene to the building conflicts and make his character more intriguing from the start.
  • Tighten the pacing by reducing redundant comedic beats, like the multiple beer-throwing mishaps, and use that space to deepen the interaction between Mark and Sean, perhaps by having Mark reference the recent investment or deposition tensions to create a smoother transition from Scene 43 and maintain narrative momentum.
  • Incorporate more thematic depth by using visual elements, such as the map of schools or Andrew's coding focus, to symbolize the characters' isolation and ambition, and add a line or action that foreshadows Eduardo's exclusion, ensuring the scene advances the story beyond humor and ties into the film's exploration of friendship and betrayal.
  • Develop supporting characters like Sharon and the interns by giving them small, meaningful actions or lines that add layers, such as Sharon reacting to the chaos in a way that reveals her personality or the interns commenting on business aspects, to avoid them feeling like background noise and enrich the scene's realism.
  • Refine dialogue to be less expository; for example, instead of Sean explicitly stating 'This house and this team are great,' show his approval through actions or implied reactions, allowing the audience to infer his thoughts and making the scene more cinematic and engaging.



Scene 45 - Business and Shots in the VIP
INT. RUBY SKYE - CONTINUOUS
An ultra-hip San Francisco nightclub. It’s a hundred-year old
theater that’s been converted into a 21st Century hot spot for
Silicon Valley’s rock stars. The lower level is a giant dance
floor packed with sweating 20-somethings bouncing to pounding
house music. There are raised blocks where scantily dressed
professional dancers perform non-stop. A huge lighting grid
hangs from the ceiling shooting colored lights and lasers
everywhere. Also hanging from the ceiling are two trapeze bars
with two performers swinging and contorting.
The staircase leads up to the 2nd level which is all VIP
tables that look out over the dance floor. Each VIP area has a
couple of couches and a table covered in bottles of vodka,
tequila, rum, mixers, ice, glasses and a private waitress
who’s happy to bend over and pour a drink for you.
And that’s where we catch up with MARK and SEAN. Sitting next
to SEAN is a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN and there’s another standing
behind him and leaning against the couch.
MARK and SEAN have to speak up above the music.
SEAN
I was crashing there for a little bit
while I’m taking care of some things. But
she’s done for the summer so she’s back
at her parents’ place.
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN #1 (BRIANNA)
The homeless rock star of Palo Alto.

SEAN
What’s your plan for the summer?
MARK has been subtly checking out the club and not paying
attention.
SEAN (CONT’D)
Mark?
MARK
I’m sorry, I was looking at the
architecture.
SEAN smiles...
SEAN
I asked what your plan--
MARK
A hundred schools by the end of the
summer.
BRIANNA
I’m going to the restroom.
SEAN
Okay.
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN #2 (KELSEY)
I’ll go with you.
The two girls exit--
MARK
Your date looks so familiar to me.
SEAN
She looks familiar to a lot of people.
MARK
What do you mean?
SEAN takes a sip of his drink...
SEAN
(simply)
A Stanford MBA named Roy Raymond wants to
buy his wife some lingerie but he’s too
embarrassed to shop for it in a
department store. He comes up with an
idea for a high end place that doesn’t
make you feel like a pervert. He gets a
$40,000 bank loan and borrows another
forty-thousand from his in-laws, opens a
store and calls it Victoria’s Secret. He
makes a half-million dollars his first
year.
(MORE)

SEAN (CONT'D)
He starts a catalogue, opens three more
stores and after five years, he sells the
company to Leslie Wexner and The Limited
for four million dollars. Happy ending,
right? Except two years later the
company’s worth 500 million dollars and
Roy Raymond jumps off the Golden Gate
Bridge.
(beat)
Poor guy just wanted to buy his wife a
pair of thigh-highs, you know?
MARK
Was that a parable?
SEAN
My date’s a Victoria’s Secret model,
that’s why she looks familiar to you.
MARK
God.
SEAN
Don’t be impressed by all this, I read
your blog.
MARK
Oh, you know, that was--
SEAN
You know why I started Napster? A girl I
loved in high school was with the co-
captain of the varsity lacrosse team and
I wanted to take her from him so I
decided to come up with the next big
thing.
MARK
I didn’t know th--
SEAN
Napster wasn’t a failure. I changed the
music industry for better and for always.
It may not have been good business but it
pissed a lot of people off. And wasn’t
that what your Facemash was about?
They’re scared of me, pal, and they’re
gonna be scared of you. What the VC’s
want is to say, “Good idea, kid. The
grown-ups’ll take it from here.” But not
this time. This is our time. This time
you’re gonna hand ‘em a business card
that says “I’m CEO...bitch”, that’s what
I want for you, so where the hell’s
Eduardo?
MARK
He’s in New York.

SEAN
Suckin’ up to ad execs.
MARK
He’s got an--
SEAN
--an internship? The company’s here. A
billion dollar company is here. Do you
live and breathe Facebook?
MARK
Yes.
SEAN
Wardo wants to be a businessman and for
all I know he’s gonna be a good one but
he shouldn’t be in New York kissing
Madison Avenue’s ass. This is a once-in-a-
generation-holy-shit idea and the water
under the Golden Gate is freezing cold.
Look at my face and tell me I don’t know
what I’m talking about.
MARK
(pause)
Do you ever think about the girl?
SEAN
What girl?
MARK
The one--the girl in high school who was--
with the lacrosse thing.
SEAN
(are you kidding?)
No.
The girls comes back--
BRIANNA
If you guys are gonna talk about
bandwidth we need shots.
SEAN
A hundred schools by the end of the
summer?
MARK
Yeah.
SEAN
Tell you what, gesture of good faith.
While you’re getting into a hundred
schools, I’ll put you on two continents.

MARK
If you don’t have a place to crash I
think you should definitely come and live
with us.
SEAN
(nods)
Let’s line up some shots.
(getting the server)
Excuse me.
SERVER
Yes sir.
SEAN
You can take this away and bring out the
SERVER
Absolutely, Mr. Parker.
MARK takes this in a moment before we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary In the vibrant VIP section of Ruby Skye, Mark and Sean engage in a conversation about summer plans and the future of Facebook, while accompanied by Brianna and Kelsey. Sean shares cautionary tales about business risks and emphasizes the importance of Eduardo's involvement in the company. The atmosphere is lively, with the women briefly leaving before returning, and Sean's charismatic personality shines as he offers to help expand Facebook. The scene culminates with Sean ordering shots, highlighting the blend of business and social interaction in the nightclub setting.
Strengths
  • Rich character development
  • Intense dialogue
  • Effective setting contrast
Weaknesses
  • Potential pacing issues in nightclub description

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines elements of tension, reflection, and character dynamics in a vibrant setting, providing depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of ambition, success, and the influence of past experiences is effectively explored through dialogue and character interactions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progression is significant, setting up future developments and conflicts while delving into the characters' motivations and relationships.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its blend of personal stories, business anecdotes, and moral dilemmas. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and offer fresh perspectives on ambition, success, and personal relationships.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and conflicting motivations that drive the scene's dynamics.

Character Changes: 8

Character dynamics shift subtly, revealing new layers and motivations as the scene progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal in this scene seems to be focused on his ambition and desire for success. His mention of visiting a hundred schools by the end of the summer reflects his drive and determination to achieve his goals.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to discuss business opportunities and potential collaborations with Sean, particularly regarding expanding his reach to two continents. This goal reflects Mark's entrepreneurial aspirations and strategic thinking.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict is palpable, stemming from differing perspectives on ambition, success, and the influence of past experiences.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with conflicting viewpoints and goals between the characters. The tension arises from the characters' differing perspectives on success, ambition, and personal relationships, creating a sense of uncertainty and challenge.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in terms of ambition, success, and the impact of past decisions on the characters' futures.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by setting up future conflicts, decisions, and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' conversations, the revelation of personal stories, and the shifting dynamics between the characters. The audience is kept on their toes regarding the characters' motivations and decisions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the pursuit of success, the impact of ambition on personal relationships, and the ethical considerations of business ventures. Sean's recounting of the Victoria's Secret story and his advice to Mark highlight the conflicting values of ambition, success, and moral consequences.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to reflection, adding depth to the character interactions.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, revealing character traits, conflicts, and underlying tensions effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of personal drama, business intrigue, and philosophical depth. The dynamic interactions between the characters and the unfolding revelations keep the audience invested in the narrative.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue-heavy moments with reflective pauses, creating a rhythm that enhances the tension and emotional impact of the interactions. The scene's pacing maintains the audience's interest and builds anticipation for future events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, character cues, and dialogue formatting. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character introductions, dialogue exchanges, and thematic development. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses dialogue to reveal character motivations and advance the plot, particularly through Sean's anecdotes, which serve as metaphors for the risks and rewards of entrepreneurship. This helps build Sean's charismatic yet manipulative persona and underscores Mark's growing ambition, making it a pivotal moment in showing how external influences shape Mark's decisions. However, the heavy reliance on expository dialogue, such as Sean's story about Victoria's Secret and his Napster origins, can feel overly didactic and less natural, potentially distancing the audience by prioritizing information dump over organic conversation. This approach risks making the scene feel like a lecture rather than a dynamic interaction, which could be mitigated by integrating more subtext or visual cues to convey the same ideas.
  • Character dynamics are a strength here, as the contrast between Sean's bold, experienced demeanor and Mark's more reserved, distracted nature highlights their evolving relationship and foreshadows Sean's increasing influence on Mark. However, Mark's passivity—evident in his minimal responses and distraction by the architecture—may underrepresent his intelligence and drive, making him seem less proactive than in other scenes. Additionally, the female characters, Brianna and Kelsey, are underdeveloped and serve primarily as decorative elements, which reinforces a trope of women as background figures in male-driven narratives. This lack of depth not only limits the scene's inclusivity but also misses an opportunity to explore gender dynamics or add layers to the social commentary inherent in the script.
  • The setting of the nightclub is vividly described, creating a high-energy, sensory-rich environment that contrasts with the intellectual and business-focused dialogue, effectively symbolizing the chaotic blend of social and professional worlds in Silicon Valley. This visual element enhances the scene's atmosphere and ties into the broader theme of digital innovation amidst hedonistic excess. However, the visual potential is not fully exploited, as the action remains dialogue-heavy and static, with little use of the dancers, lights, or music to underscore emotional beats or advance the story visually. For instance, the pounding music and laser lights could mirror the intensity of Sean's advice or Mark's internal conflict, but they are underutilized, resulting in a scene that feels confined to the couch despite the expansive setting.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces key motifs of the screenplay, such as the pursuit of success at any cost and the erosion of personal relationships, exemplified by Sean's dismissal of his high school crush and the subtle jab at Eduardo's absence. This adds depth to Mark's character arc, showing his shift towards ruthless ambition. However, the transition from personal anecdotes to business strategy feels abrupt and could benefit from smoother integration, as it sometimes lacks emotional continuity. Moreover, the scene's ending, with Sean offering to expand Facebook internationally and Mark inviting him to live together, is a strong plot driver but comes across as rushed, potentially undermining the buildup of tension and making the gesture feel unearned without more buildup or conflict resolution.
  • Overall, the scene captures the essence of the script's exploration of innovation and interpersonal betrayal, with Sean's charismatic persuasion contrasting Mark's vulnerability. Yet, it suffers from a lack of balance between humor, drama, and exposition, which can make the tone inconsistent. While Sean's lines are witty and engaging, they occasionally overshadow Mark's responses, reducing the scene's interactivity and making it feel one-sided. This imbalance might alienate viewers who expect more reciprocal dialogue, and it highlights a broader issue in the screenplay where key scenes rely heavily on monologues, potentially at the expense of showing character growth through actions rather than words.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more interactive dialogue by having Mark or the female characters interrupt Sean's monologues with questions or reactions, making the conversation feel more natural and dynamic, which would enhance engagement and reveal character traits subtly.
  • Develop the roles of Brianna and Kelsey beyond mere props by giving them lines that tie into the themes, such as commenting on the business discussion or sharing their own aspirations, to add diversity and depth to the scene and avoid reinforcing gender stereotypes.
  • Utilize the nightclub's visual and auditory elements more actively; for example, intercut Sean's stories with shots of the dancers or flashing lights to visually represent the chaos of his advice, helping to maintain pace and immerse the audience in the environment.
  • Strengthen the emotional arc by adding subtle physical actions or facial expressions that show Mark's internal conflict, such as fidgeting or glancing away, to make his character more expressive and the scene less dialogue-dependent, improving the overall flow and tension.
  • Ensure plot points like Sean's offer to expand internationally feel organic by foreshadowing them earlier in the scene or through subtext, and consider ending with a stronger hook, such as a lingering shot of Mark's thoughtful expression, to better connect to the next scene and heighten anticipation.



Scene 46 - The Final Stretch
EXT. THE THAMES - DAY
We’re looking at a stone bridge crossing a perfectly straight
stretch of water against the backdrop of the medieval town of
Henley, England--founded in 1179.
And after a moment of placid quiet--
--BOOSH!
Two razor thin skulls explode for the final, agonizing hundred-
meter stretch of the ancient and prestigious Henley Royal
Regatta.
The two boats are neck and neck. The port-side boat is being
crewed by the two Dutch members of the Hollandia Roeiclub. The
starboard boat is being crewed by a pair of identical twins
wearing tank tops bearing the “H” of Harvard.
We HEAR the ROAR come up from the CROWD in the viewing
section. The crowd is dressed as if for opening day at Ascot--
the women in flowing dresses and wide-brimmed hats, the men in
blazers and brightly colored floral ties.
But the young men in the boats can barely hear the crowd. Just
their own breathing as they pull against the longest natural
straight stretch of water in the world--a mile and a half
torture test against the best competition they’ve ever faced.
And they’re neck and neck. CAMERON and TYLER can’t shake the
Dutch.

The CROWD is going crazy. Mixed in with the British crowd is a
small contingent waving the flag of Holland and a slightly
larger contingent of Americans.
We’ll notice a stoic man in a VIP viewing section and later
we’ll be introduced to him as Cameron and Tyler’s father. Next
to him is their mother, who can barely watch.
Back on the boats it’s just the breathing as the skulls slice
through the water like jet-powered knives. 50 meters now and
there’s still no daylight between them.
25 meters and the Dutch and American fans are going crazy--
even the British aristocracy can’t help but get caught up in
the closest race in the history of the competition. The FATHER
is silently willing his boys one more fraction of boat speed--
the MOTHER has her hands over her mouth in praying position.
POP!
--the finish gun is fired into the air, the oars come out of
the water and the bodies of the crewmen slump over.
CAMERON turns his head to the cheering crowd to see the Dutch
group holding a giant flag and jumping up and down. The
Americans bring their giant flag down and fold it up.
The two DUTCH CREW MEMBERS pump their fists in the air and hug
as the two boats skim along to a gentle stop.
The MOTHER drops her head and looks down. The FATHER refuses
to look away.
From CAMERON and TYLER, just the breathing.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Sports"]

Summary In a tense climax at the Henley Royal Regatta, the Dutch Hollandia Roeiclub and American twins Cameron and Tyler race neck and neck in the final meters. The crowd, dressed in formal attire, cheers passionately as the twins' stoic father watches while their anxious mother prays for their victory. As the finish gun fires, the Dutch team celebrates their win, leaving the exhausted Americans in quiet defeat, highlighting the emotional stakes of the race.
Strengths
  • Intense competition
  • Emotional investment of characters
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Limited dialogue
  • Minimal character development within the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and excitement of a high-stakes rowing competition, drawing viewers into the emotional intensity of the moment. The competitive spirit, combined with the familial support and the ultimate disappointment, creates a compelling narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing a high-stakes rowing competition at the Henley Royal Regatta is engaging and provides a unique backdrop for exploring themes of competition, determination, and familial support.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the intense rowing competition between the Harvard twins and the Dutch crew, effectively building tension and emotional investment. The outcome of the race impacts the characters and sets the stage for future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the competitive world of rowing, blending historical context with personal drama. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic, capturing the high-stakes nature of the regatta and the emotional complexities of sportsmanship.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed within the context of the race, showcasing their competitive spirit, familial connections, and personal investment in the outcome. The scene effectively conveys the emotional journey of the characters through their reactions and interactions.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes within the scene, the outcome of the race and the characters' reactions set the stage for potential growth and development in future interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to prove their worth and skill in the intense competition, reflecting their desire for recognition, achievement, and personal validation.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to win the race against formidable opponents, showcasing their determination, teamwork, and competitive spirit in the face of a challenging and high-stakes situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily external, revolving around the intense competition between the rowing teams. The emotional investment of the characters and the high stakes of the race heighten the conflict and drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing formidable rivals and internal doubts. The uncertainty of the race's outcome and the emotional stakes create a compelling conflict that drives the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the rowing competition, both in terms of personal pride and familial expectations, create a sense of urgency and importance that drives the emotional intensity of the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by establishing the competitive dynamics between the characters, setting up future conflicts and developments. The outcome of the race impacts the characters and sets the stage for future plot progression.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it keeps the audience guessing about the race's outcome until the final moments. The shifting dynamics between the competing teams and the emotional reactions of the characters add layers of uncertainty and tension.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of competition, sportsmanship, and the emotional impact of victory and defeat. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about success, resilience, and the value of effort in the face of adversity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, drawing viewers into the intense competition and the characters' personal struggles. The emotional investment of the characters and the outcome of the race evoke strong feelings of tension, hope, and disappointment.

Dialogue: 7.5

While dialogue is minimal in the scene, the interactions between characters during the race convey tension, support, and competitive spirit effectively. The dialogue enhances the emotional impact of the moment.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic pacing, vivid imagery, and emotional depth. The intense race sequence, combined with the characters' internal struggles and external challenges, keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic race sequence that keeps the audience engaged. The rhythmic flow of action and emotion enhances the scene's impact and narrative progression.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene adheres to the expected formatting standards for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, action descriptions, and character cues that enhance readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a well-structured format, building tension through descriptive details, character interactions, and a climactic race sequence. It effectively conveys the competitive atmosphere and emotional stakes of the event.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the intensity and physicality of the rowing race, using vivid descriptions to build suspense and tension, which immerses the reader in the moment and highlights the twins' determination. This visual storytelling without dialogue is a strength, as it relies on action and cinematography to convey emotion, aligning with the film's theme of silent struggles and competition, much like the tech world's cutthroat environment.
  • However, the scene feels somewhat isolated from the main narrative arc centered on Mark Zuckerberg and the development of Facebook. As scene 46, it shifts abruptly from the high-energy nightclub scene in San Francisco (scene 45) to this international rowing event, which could disrupt the pacing and make the transition feel jarring. This disconnection might dilute the focus on the primary conflict, as the twins' subplot, while important, risks overshadowing or interrupting the momentum of Zuckerberg's story without stronger thematic or narrative links.
  • The character development for Cameron and Tyler is reinforced through their stoic reactions to defeat, emphasizing their elite, unemotional demeanor, which parallels their approach to the lawsuit against Zuckerberg. Yet, this minimal emotional expression might limit audience empathy; the scene could benefit from subtler cues, like a fleeting glance between the twins or a physical tell, to reveal more about their internal frustration or resolve, making their characters more relatable and multidimensional.
  • The crowd and family reactions add depth and contrast to the twins' isolation, effectively illustrating the personal stakes of their failure. The description of the spectators' attire and behaviors evokes a sense of tradition and social hierarchy, tying into the film's exploration of exclusivity (e.g., Harvard clubs and social networks). However, this element could be more integrated with the broader themes, such as drawing a parallel to the digital 'crowd' on Facebook, to strengthen the scene's relevance to the overall script.
  • Pacing-wise, the scene builds suspense well with the race's progression, but at 75 seconds of screen time (based on the summary), it might feel brief or inconsequential if not edited to heighten emotional impact. The lack of dialogue is economical, but in a film driven by intellectual and social conflicts, this purely physical scene could risk feeling like a filler moment unless it directly foreshadows the twins' escalating legal actions or mirrors Zuckerberg's own competitive isolation.
  • Technically, the screenplay formatting and language are strong, with dynamic action lines that paint a clear picture for directors and cinematographers. However, the historical note about Henley being founded in 1179 adds flavor but might be unnecessary unless it serves a symbolic purpose, such as emphasizing the timeless nature of competition, which could be made more explicit to avoid seeming like extraneous detail.
Suggestions
  • To better integrate this scene with the main plot, consider adding a brief voice-over from Mark Zuckerberg or an intercut to his actions in California, drawing a parallel between the twins' physical race and Zuckerberg's digital expansion, reinforcing the theme of parallel competitions.
  • Enhance character depth by incorporating subtle physical or visual cues during the twins' reaction to loss, such as a shared look or a clenched fist, to convey their frustration and build anticipation for their legal pursuit, making the scene more emotionally resonant.
  • Strengthen thematic connections by explicitly linking the rowing race's exclusivity and defeat to the social dynamics of Harvard clubs or Facebook's growth, perhaps through a narrator's insight or a cutaway that echoes similar elements in earlier scenes.
  • Adjust pacing by ensuring the scene's length supports the film's rhythm; if it's too short, add a moment of aftermath, like the twins discussing their next steps, to transition smoothly into their resolve for legal action without extending it unnecessarily.
  • Refine the descriptive elements to focus on what's essential; for instance, trim or repurpose the historical background if it doesn't directly contribute, and use the crowd's reaction to foreshadow the public scrutiny the twins will face in their lawsuit against Zuckerberg.



Scene 47 - Determined Resolve
INT. AWARD CEREMONY - DAY
CAMERON and TYLER are watching as the Dutch team is having
their picture taken with their newly-won trophy in the press
room. TYLER doesn’t want to watch anymore and steps into--
INT. RECEPTION ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Where an AIDE greets him--
AIDE
Mr. Winklevoss.
TYLER
Tyler.
AIDE
Tremendous race.

TYLER
Thank you.
CAMERON comes along.
TYLER (CONT’D)
This is my brother, Cameron.
AIDE
Excellent.
(to the blue-blazered man
behind him)
Sir. His Royal Highness, Prince Albert.
PRINCE ALBERT
Ah.
AIDE
Your highness, this is Cameron and Tyler
Winklevoss.
PRINCE ALBERT
Of course. Brilliant race. I’ve never
seen a race that close.
TYLER
(beat)
Yes, sir.
PRINCE ALBERT
My grandfather, Jack Kelly, was one of
the premiere rowers of his day. I’ve been
coming to Henley for 30 years and I’ve
never seen a race that close. Have you
seen a race that close?
CAMERON is thinking about starting a war with Monaco right now
so he lets his brother do the talking.
TYLER
(beat)
No, Your Highness. Mile and a half races
are more commonly won by a boat length or
two.
PRINCE ALBERT
Yes, that’s absolutely right. Brutally
close.
TYLER
May I introduce my teammates? This is
Dave, he’s our--
AIDE
(quietly to PRINCE ALBERT)
I’m sorry, you’ll have to excuse us.

PRINCE ALBERT
On to the Dutch!
CAMERON and TYLER step over to DIVYA who’s waiting near the
bar--
TYLER
I’m sorry you had to fly all the way over
to see that.
DIVYA
I wouldn’t have missed it, brother. How
was the royalty?
CAMERON
I just wanted him to tell me a couple
more times how close the race was a
couple of more times. Brutal. It was
brutally close. Excruciatingly brutal.
Never seen a race so excruciatingly
JESUS!
That was an unusual outburst from CAMERON...
DIVYA
Cam, the guy’s the prince of a country
the size of Nantucket, relax it’s fine--
MR. WINKLEVOSS has made his way over--
MR. WINKLEVOSS
Boys.
TYLER
Dad.
MR. WINKLEVOSS
Divya.
DIVYA
Mr. Winklevoss.
MR. WINKLEVOSS
That was a tough beat.
CAMERON
I’m sorry, that you and mom flew all the--
MR. WINKLEVOSS
No, don’t you ever apologize to me for
losing a race like that. Don’t ever
apologize to anyone for losing a race
like that.
Another man comes along, MR. KENWRIGHT.

KENWRIGHT
Boys.
TYLER
Oh. Mr. Kenwright. Dad, this is Mr.
Kenwright, the head of our host family
this week.
KENWRIGHT
Pleasure to meet you.
MR. WINKLEVOSS
Good to meet you.
KENWRIGHT
I just had a phone chat with my daughter.
She told me that she and her friends are
already talking about the race, which
they’ve seen via their computers. A new
website called Facebook. Do you have this
in America?
Everyone is frozen...
MR. WINKLEVOSS
I’m going to find your mother.
KENWRIGHT
(pause)
Have I said something wrong?
DIVYA
(pause)
Your daughter doesn’t go to school in the
States?
KENWRIGHT
No no. Cambridge. Majoring in French
Literature, though I wasn’t aware there
was such a thing.
TYLER
(pause)
They have Facebook at Cambridge?
KENWRIGHT
And apparently Oxford and the London
School of Economics--that’s where her
friends are.
DIVYA
That’s awesome.
KENWRIGHT
Good race, boys. Take the bitter with the
better.

The men leave and CAMERON, TYLER and DIVYA are alone. CAMERON
looks at them for a moment...
CAMERON
(pause)
I’m gonna watch the race film. If this
online I wanna see it.
TYLER
Stop it. Stop it, Cameron. Knock it off.
I don’t mind that we lost to the Dutch
today by less than a second. That was a
good race, that was a fair race and
they’ll see us again. What I mind--and
what you should mind--is showing up on
Monday for a race that was run on Sunday.
(beat)
We tried talking to him ourselves, we
tried writing a letter, we tried the Ad
Board, and we tried the president of the
University. Now I’m asking you. For the
last time! Let’s take the considerable
resources at our disposal and sue him in
federal court!
CAMERON looks at his brother and DIVYA...
DIVYA
Come on.
CAMERON
(pause)
I need a real drink.
CAMERON takes a few steps away as TYLER and DIVYA drop their
heads in surrender but then CAMERON turns right back--
CAMERON (CONT’D)
Screw it. Let’s gut the freakin’ nerd.
DIVYA grabs CAMERON and hugs him.
TYLER
That’s what I’m talking about.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In the aftermath of a disappointing rowing race loss, Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss encounter Prince Albert of Monaco, who praises their effort. Frustrated by their defeat and the revelation of Facebook's popularity, the brothers, alongside Divya Narendra, grapple with their feelings of betrayal over their stolen idea. Tyler pushes Cameron to take legal action against Mark Zuckerberg, leading to a pivotal moment where Cameron, initially hesitant, resolves to 'gut the freakin' nerd,' marking a shift towards determination and unity among the group.
Strengths
  • Effective tension building
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines tension and humor, setting up a significant conflict while showcasing the characters' reactions to the race outcome.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of dealing with defeat, meeting royalty, and contemplating legal action is intriguing and well-executed.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses by introducing the conflict with Mark and the decision to take legal action, adding depth to the story.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on competition, loss, and justice within the context of a high-stakes sporting event. The characters' reactions and dialogue feel authentic and offer a unique take on familiar themes.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters show depth through their reactions and interactions, especially in the face of adversity.

Character Changes: 8

The characters show subtle shifts in their attitudes and decisions, hinting at potential growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain composure and deal with the emotional aftermath of a close race loss. This reflects his need for validation, fear of failure, and desire to assert control over the situation.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to strategize and plan a legal response to a perceived injustice in the racing competition. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of seeking justice and vindication for the team.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between the Winklevoss twins and Mark is palpable, setting the stage for future confrontations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and goals among the characters leading to uncertainty and tension in the outcome of their decisions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters face the aftermath of a crucial race and consider legal action against a key figure.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a significant conflict and decision that will impact the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and shifting dynamics, creating moments of surprise and tension that keep the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's internal struggle between accepting defeat gracefully and seeking retribution for what he perceives as an unfair loss. This conflict challenges his values of sportsmanship, integrity, and justice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from disappointment to determination, enhancing the viewer's engagement.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, reflecting the characters' emotions and motivations effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its mix of emotional conflict, humor, and suspense, keeping the audience invested in the characters' dilemmas and decisions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional stakes through well-timed dialogue exchanges and character reactions, enhancing the overall impact of the conflict.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to expected formatting standards for its genre, with proper scene headings, character cues, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format typical of its genre, with clear character introductions, dialogue exchanges, and escalating tension leading to a pivotal decision.


Critique
  • The scene effectively transitions from the immediate aftermath of the rowing defeat to escalating the central conflict with Mark Zuckerberg, maintaining the film's theme of competition and betrayal. It uses the twins' loss as a metaphor for their broader struggles, which is thematically consistent, but Cameron's emotional outburst feels somewhat abrupt and could benefit from more buildup to make it feel earned and less like a sudden explosion. This lack of gradual tension might make the character appear inconsistent, potentially alienating viewers who expect more nuanced development from supporting characters.
  • Dialogue in the scene is functional but occasionally stiff and expository, particularly in interactions like the one with Prince Albert, which serves more as filler than advancing the plot or revealing character depth. While it adds a touch of realism and humor, it doesn't contribute significantly to the story's momentum, and the repetitive emphasis on how 'close' the race was could be seen as redundant, diluting the impact of the scene's more critical moments, such as the revelation about Facebook's expansion.
  • The scene's structure relies heavily on dialogue-driven confrontations, which is appropriate for a character-focused film, but it lacks strong visual elements to enhance the cinematic quality. For instance, the setting in a reception room and bar area could incorporate more dynamic visuals—such as close-ups of the twins' tense body language or symbolic imagery related to their defeat—to better convey their internal frustration and the weight of their decision to pursue legal action, making the scene more engaging and less static.
  • Character interactions, especially with Divya and their father, provide good support for Tyler and Cameron's motivations, but the scene could delve deeper into their personal stakes. For example, the father's consoling words about not apologizing for a hard-fought loss are poignant, but exploring how this defeat mirrors their feelings of being 'beaten' by Zuckerberg might strengthen the emotional resonance and tie it more closely to the film's exploration of privilege and entitlement.
  • Overall, the scene fits well into the screenplay's pacing as a midpoint escalation, but it risks feeling predictable in its resolution—Cameron agreeing to sue after resistance—without introducing new twists or complications. This could make the narrative arc less surprising for the audience, and while it advances the plot, it doesn't fully capitalize on the opportunity to heighten suspense or reveal new facets of the characters' relationships, such as the dynamics between the twins and Divya.
Suggestions
  • Build more gradual tension leading to Cameron's outburst by adding subtle visual cues or shorter, interspersed flashbacks to earlier failed attempts at confronting Zuckerberg, making his emotional peak feel more organic and tied to his character arc.
  • Streamline or cut less essential dialogue, such as the Prince Albert exchange, to focus on key interactions that drive the plot, like the revelation about Facebook's UK expansion, ensuring every line serves to reveal character or advance the story without unnecessary digressions.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements, such as tight shots on the twins' hands clenching or symbolic props (e.g., a trophy or a map), to convey emotions and themes visually, reducing reliance on dialogue and making the scene more dynamic and engaging for viewers.
  • Deepen character development by adding a brief moment where the twins discuss how their rowing defeat parallels their business loss, reinforcing the theme of competition and adding layers to their motivations, which could make their decision to sue feel more personal and impactful.
  • Introduce a small twist or complication in the confrontation, such as a new piece of information about Zuckerberg's progress or a warning from their father about the risks of litigation, to add unpredictability and heighten the stakes, preventing the scene from feeling formulaic and better maintaining audience engagement.



Scene 48 - Chaos and Confrontation in Palo Alto
INT. PALO ALTO HOUSE - NIGHT
There’s a thunderstorm going on outside and rain is beating
hard against the windows. DUSTIN, ANDREW and the INTERNS are
hard at work writing code. Green Day is pumping from the
speakers.
SEAN is pacing the house on a cordless phone while two YOUNG
WOMEN--dressed to go out for a party--are at the moment each
on a free computer playing each other in a game of Counter-
Strike. Basically they’re shooting at each other and missing
and laughing their heads off.

It wouldn’t appear as if the house has been cleaned since the
last time we saw it and in fact there are signs of more
wreckage as well as futons, pillows and blankets on the floor.
There’s also a 12-foot bong that reaches the middle landing of
the staircase.
SEAN
(into phone)
Check it out, I saw him today.
(beat)
Manningham, Mitchell Manningham, my Case
Equity guy--hang on.
(to the girls)
Are you guys using spikes or ghost
missiles?
GIRL #1
We don’t know, we’re just shooting at
each other.
The DOORBELL RINGS but no one pays attention--
SEAN
Use sweet kamakazis.
GIRL #1
Like we know what that is.
Now there’s a KNOCKING at the door and we
CUT TO:
EXT. PALO ALTO HOUSE - NIGHT
Rain is soaking down on EDUARDO as he stands at the front door
with a suitcase in his hand. A taxi is turning around in the
driveway and heading off. EDUARDO knocks on the front door
again as we
CUT BACK TO:
INT. PALO ALTO HOUSE - NIGHT
SEAN
(into phone)
I saw him getting into his turbo Carerra
and he saw me too, I know he did.
(beat)
Don’t sweat it, I’m on a land line.
SEAN leans over one of the girls, casually hits a few keys and
easily kills several of the other girl’s soldiers.
GIRL #1
Yes!

GIRL #2
Hey!
GIRL #1
Bong hit!
She has to take one as a penalty.
DUSTIN
Does, anybody hear that banging?
SEAN
(to DUSTIN)
You don’t hear anything, you’re writing
code.
DUSTIN
Dude, somebody’s at the door.
SEAN goes back to the phone conversation as he heads to the
door--
SEAN
(into phone)
It’s not a dish best served cold. It’s
best served immediately and relentlessly.
SEAN opens the door and the soaking wet EDUARDO is standing
there...
SEAN (CONT’D)
(into phone)
I’m gonna call you back.
(to EDUARDO)
What’s up?
EDUARDO
(long pause)
What’s up?
(beat)
Mark was supposed to pick me up at the
airport an hour ago, I’ve been calling
his cell.
SEAN
He was on a 36 hour coding tear so he
took a nap for a couple of hours.
EDUARDO walks into the house and surveys the wreckage--
EDUARDO
What happened here?
SEAN
Not happened--happening. The next big
thing.

DUSTIN
Wardo!
EDUARDO
Hey man.
SEAN
(to DUSTIN)
Back to work.
GIRL #2
The more bad I get at this, the more
wasted I get. I meant the more--
SEAN
We understand.
EDUARDO
How old are they, Sean?
SEAN
It’s not polite to ask.
EDUARDO
Sean, how old are they?
SEAN
You think you know me. Right?
EDUARDO
I’ve read enough.
SEAN
You know how much I’ve read about you?
Nothing.
MARK comes down the stairs--
MARK
Wardo.
EDUARDO
I waited an hour for you at the airport.
MARK
What time is it?
EDUARDO
It’s midnight. Or 3AM in New York where I
just came from.
MARK
You’ve gotta see some of the new stuff
we’ve got. Dustin, show him the wall. I’m
just calling it the wall.

SEAN
Forget the wall, tell him about the
meeting I’ve got set up.
(to EDUARDO)
You know Peter Thiel?
EDUARDO
No.
SEAN
No reason you should. He just runs a two-
billion dollar hedge fund called Clarium
Capital.
EDUARDO
(to MARK)
Why’s he setting up meetings?
MARK
Thiel may want to make an angel
investment.
EDUARDO
I don’t care if he’s an actual angel,
why’s he setting up business meetings?
MARK
You’ve had a long flight.
EDUARDO
No, I’ve had a long wait on the tarmac at
JFK, then a long wait at the passenger
loading and unloading zone at SFO and in
between there was a long flight. I’m the
business end of this company and he’s a
house guest living here rent-free on a
generous grant from the Eduardo Saverin
Foundation.
SEAN
I heard about your big ticket ad buys
lined up.
EDUARDO
Hey, man--
SEAN
Gary’s Tuxedos, the Harvard Bartending
Course. You’re just one small step away
from bagging Snookies Cookies, I can feel
it.
EDUARDO
(to MARK)
Want to talk to me alone for a minute?
MARK
Sure.

SEAN
(calling out)
Bong hit!
GIRL #2
I’m so high.
SEAN
You’re not.
EDUARDO’s followed MARK into--
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary During a thunderstorm in a disorganized Palo Alto house, Dustin, Andrew, and interns are absorbed in coding while Sean juggles a phone call and gaming distractions. The atmosphere is chaotic, with laughter and a prominent 12-foot bong adding to the disorder. Eduardo arrives, soaked and frustrated after being left at the airport, confronting Sean about his unauthorized business dealings and Mark's neglect. Tensions rise as Eduardo demands a private conversation with Mark, highlighting conflicts over control and direction within the company, while the party-like environment continues around them.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Effective character interactions
  • Balanced tone
Weaknesses
  • Chaotic setting may distract from key moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances humor with underlying tension, setting up conflicts and character dynamics for future developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the reunion of characters in a stormy setting, blending humor with serious business discussions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances through character interactions, revealing tensions and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the tech industry setting, combining work, social interactions, and business discussions in a dynamic and engaging manner. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and layered.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined, each with distinct personalities and motivations, leading to engaging dialogue and conflicts.

Character Changes: 8

Character dynamics shift subtly, setting the stage for future developments and revealing underlying tensions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert his authority and importance within the group, particularly in front of the newcomer Eduardo. This reflects his need for recognition, control, and validation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to impress Eduardo with the company's progress and potential business opportunities, showcasing his leadership and vision.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The scene is filled with interpersonal conflicts, both subtle and overt, adding tension and drama to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene, represented by Eduardo's arrival and conflicting perspectives, adds tension and uncertainty, creating a sense of challenge for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes involve business decisions, personal relationships, and the future of the characters, adding intensity to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing conflicts, deepening character relationships, and setting up future plot points.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in its character dynamics and shifting power play, adding intrigue and uncertainty to the unfolding events.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict between Sean's casual, carefree attitude towards business and Eduardo's more serious and structured approach. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about success and relationships.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions from humor to tension, engaging the audience in the characters' dynamics.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals character dynamics effectively, adding depth to the interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its mix of humor, tension, and character dynamics, keeping the audience intrigued and invested in the unfolding interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively balances dialogue-driven interactions with descriptive elements, creating a dynamic rhythm that enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format, smoothly transitioning between different character interactions and locations, maintaining a coherent narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic, youthful energy of the Palo Alto house, contrasting it with Eduardo's structured and business-oriented approach, which heightens the tension and underscores the growing rift in the company dynamics. This visual and thematic contrast is a strength, as it mirrors the broader script's exploration of the conflict between innovation and business acumen, making it easy for viewers to understand the characters' diverging paths.
  • However, the dialogue occasionally feels overly expository and on-the-nose, particularly in exchanges like Sean's line about setting up meetings with Peter Thiel or Eduardo's rant about being the 'business end' of the company. This can come across as telling rather than showing, which might reduce the scene's emotional authenticity and make it less engaging for the audience, as it prioritizes plot exposition over nuanced character interaction.
  • The inclusion of comedic elements, such as the young women playing Counter-Strike and the 'bong hit' penalty, adds levity and reflects the reckless startup culture, but it risks diluting the scene's dramatic core. In a script that deals with serious themes of betrayal and ambition, these moments might feel gratuitous or stereotypical, potentially undermining the intensity of Eduardo's confrontation and making the tone inconsistent with the more focused emotional beats in surrounding scenes.
  • Pacing is generally strong, with the thunderstorm serving as a fitting atmospheric device that amplifies the internal conflict, but the scene could benefit from better integration of action and dialogue. For instance, Eduardo's entrance and initial reactions are somewhat rushed, which might not give the audience enough time to absorb his frustration or connect with his emotional state, especially after the high-energy rowing scene in the previous sequence.
  • Character development is highlighted well through Mark's casual dismissal of Eduardo's concerns and Sean's smug interventions, reinforcing their roles in the narrative arc. However, Eduardo's portrayal as immediately aggressive could be more layered; showing his exhaustion and disappointment more subtly through actions and expressions might make his character more relatable and less one-dimensional, helping viewers empathize with his position in the escalating conflict.
  • Overall, the scene advances the plot effectively by planting seeds for Eduardo's ousting and emphasizing themes of exclusion and power shifts, but it could refine its balance between humor and drama to better align with the script's tone. As part of a larger sequence building to betrayal, it succeeds in ratcheting up tension, but clearer motivations for Sean's actions and Eduardo's delayed arrival might make the conflict more impactful and easier for readers or viewers to follow.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to be more concise and subtextual; for example, instead of Eduardo explicitly stating he's the 'business end,' show his frustration through visual cues like him glancing at financial documents or reacting to the mess, allowing the audience to infer his role and emotions.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by adding more details to Eduardo's entrance, such as slow-motion shots of rain-soaked clothes or a close-up of his face showing fatigue, to build empathy and make his confrontation feel more earned and less abrupt.
  • Reduce or recontextualize the comedic elements, like the Counter-Strike game, to ensure they support the theme; perhaps tie it into the startup's culture by having the women represent the distractions Sean brings, making their presence more integral to the conflict rather than feeling like filler.
  • Improve pacing by extending Eduardo's initial reaction to the house's chaos, allowing a beat for him to survey the room and process his emotions, which could create a stronger build-up to the verbal clash and give the audience time to absorb the setting's symbolism.
  • Deepen character interactions by adding subtle physicality or nonverbal cues; for instance, have Mark avoid eye contact during Eduardo's complaints to show his guilt or discomfort, or have Sean smirk knowingly, reinforcing his manipulative character without relying solely on dialogue.
  • Consider adding a small callback or foreshadowing element to tie into earlier scenes, such as referencing Eduardo's New York advertising efforts more directly, to strengthen continuity and remind viewers of the stakes, making the scene feel more connected to the overall narrative.



Scene 49 - Tensions Rise: A Clash of Ambitions
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
MARK
How’s it going? How’s the internship?
How’s Christy?
EDUARDO
How’s the internship?
MARK
Yeah.
EDUARDO
Mark...Jesus, I quit the internship.
We’ve talked about this on the phone,
were you even--I quit on my first day.
MARK
I do remember you saying that. How’s
Christy?
EDUARDO
Christy’s crazy.
MARK
Is that fun?
EDUARDO
No I mean she’s actually psychotic. She’s
insanely jealous, she’s irrational and
I’m frightened of her.
MARK
Still, it’s nice you have a girlfriend.
EDUARDO
I do not want that guy representing
himself as part of this company.
MARK
You gotta move out here, Wardo, this is
where it’s all happening.
EDUARDO
Did you hear what I just said?

MARK
The connections, the energy--
EDUARDO
Mark--
MARK
I’m afraid if you don’t come out here
you’re going to get left behind. I want--
I want--I need you out here, please don’t
tell him I said that.
EDUARDO
What did you just say?
MARK
It’s moving faster than any of us ever
even imagined and--
EDUARDO
What do you mean get left behind?
MARK
It’s moving fast and Sean even thinks
that--
EDUARDO
Sean is not part of the company.
MARK
We have over 300,000 members, Wardo,
we’re in 160 schools including--
EDUARDO
I’m aware of that.
MARK
--five in Europe.
EDUARDO
I’m aware of that, Mark, I’m the CFO.
MARK
We need more servers than I ever imagined
we’d need. We need more programmers. And
we need more money. And he set up the
Thiel meeting. He’s set up meetings all
around town.
EDUARDO
He’s set up other meetings?
MARK
Yes.
EDUARDO
Without me knowing anything about it?!

MARK
You’re in New York!
EDUARDO
I’m in New York riding subways 14 hours a
day trying to find advertisers!
MARK
And how’s it going so far?!!
EDUARDO
What did you mean get left behind?
EDUARDO looks at MARK for a long moment before we
CUT TO:
INT. BANK OF AMERICA BRANCH- DAY
EDUARDO comes through the doors with single-minded intent,
heads past the tellers and straight to a desk where he takes a
bankbook out of his pocket and slaps it on the desk.
BANKER
(beat)
Can I help you?
EDUARDO
I’d like to freeze this bank account and
cancel all existing checks and lines of
credit.
BANKER
May I see some ID, please?
EDUARDO
Yeah, sure.
CUT TO:
EXT./EST. SAN FRANCISCO SKYSCRAPER - DAY
80 stories of polished granite.
INT. THIEL’S OUTER OFFICE - DAY
We’re in the offices of a guy who’s hero is Gordon Gekko. MARK
and SEAN are waiting--seated side by side--for a verdict.
SEAN’s wearing his best Prada, MARK’s wearing his hoodie and
Adidas flip-flops.
After a moment an ASSISTANT comes out...
ASSISTANT
Sean, he’ll be right with you.

SEAN
No problem.
(to MARK)
You know this is where they filmed
Towering Inferno.
MARK
(pause)
That’s comforting.
The office door opens and PETER THIEL sticks his head out--
PETER
Hey, guys. Come on back.
They get up and walk into--
INT. THIEL’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Several of Thiel’s lieutenant’s are sitting around.
PETER
She offer you guys some waters?
SEAN
Oh yeah, we’re cool.
MAURICE
Sean, come on in. You must be Mark.
MARK
Hi.
PETER
We took a look at everything and
congratulations. We’re gonna start you
off with a $500,000 investment. Maurice
is gonna talk to you about some corporate
restructuring.
MAURICE
We’ll file as a Corporation in Delaware
and come up with a stock structure that
allows for new investors.
PETER
Now lemme ask you something. Who’s
Eduardo Saverin?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Business"]

Summary In this tense scene, Mark Zuckerberg confronts Eduardo Saverin about his recent decisions, including quitting his internship and feeling sidelined in the company's rapid growth. Eduardo expresses his frustration over Sean Parker's unauthorized representation and his exclusion from key meetings. Meanwhile, Eduardo takes decisive action at a bank to secure the company's finances. The scene shifts to a meeting with investor Peter Thiel, where Mark and Sean seek a $500,000 investment, but Thiel's probing questions about Eduardo's role hint at deeper corporate tensions. The emotional tone is urgent and confrontational, reflecting the strain on their partnership.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Character development
  • Plot advancement
Weaknesses
  • Limited setting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is pivotal in revealing the escalating conflict and power struggle between Mark and Eduardo, setting the stage for significant changes in the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the clash of visions for the company's future, adding depth to the characters and advancing the plot.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is significantly advanced through the confrontation, revealing key conflicts and character motivations that drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh take on the competitive world of startups and the complexities of business relationships. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their conflicting personalities and motivations, leading to a pivotal moment of decision-making.

Character Changes: 8

Both Mark and Eduardo undergo significant changes in their dynamic and priorities during the scene, leading to a shift in their relationship and decisions.

Internal Goal: 8

Eduardo's internal goal is to assert his importance and value within the company, seeking recognition and respect from Mark. His fear of being left behind and desire for control over the company's direction drive this goal.

External Goal: 7.5

Eduardo's external goal is to address the unauthorized actions of Sean and ensure his position and influence within the company are secure. He wants to protect the company's interests and maintain control.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and drives the narrative forward, showcasing the high stakes and emotional tension between the characters.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and power dynamics creating uncertainty and tension. The audience is kept guessing about the characters' next moves.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters face crucial decisions about the company's future, personal relationships, and power dynamics.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing key conflicts, character motivations, and setting up future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable as the characters' actions and revelations keep the audience on edge. The shifting dynamics and unexpected developments add suspense and intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the balance between ambition and loyalty. Mark prioritizes growth and success, while Eduardo values integrity and transparency in business dealings. This challenges their partnership and mutual understanding.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a high emotional impact due to the intense confrontation and personal revelations, engaging the audience and heightening the stakes.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and power struggle between Mark and Eduardo, adding depth to their characters and the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its high stakes, conflicting goals, and intense dialogue. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and the unfolding drama.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, maintaining tension and momentum through rapid dialogue exchanges and strategic pauses. The rhythm enhances the scene's emotional impact and narrative progression.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, enhancing readability and clarity. Scene transitions are smooth and facilitate the flow of the narrative.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and conflict. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's intensity and progression.


Critique
  • The scene effectively heightens the interpersonal conflict between Mark and Eduardo, showcasing Eduardo's growing frustration with being sidelined and Mark's single-minded focus on expansion, which mirrors the film's themes of ambition and betrayal. This escalation is crucial at this point in the script (scene 49 of 60), as it builds towards the climax by introducing Eduardo's retaliatory action and the successful funding from Peter Thiel, raising the stakes for future confrontations.
  • However, the rapid intercutting between three distinct locations—the kitchen, the bank, and Thiel's office—can feel abrupt and disjointed, potentially disrupting the audience's emotional investment. While intercutting is a strong tool for parallel storytelling, as seen in earlier scenes, it risks overwhelming viewers if not handled with clearer transitions or thematic links, making the scene feel more like a montage than a cohesive narrative beat.
  • Dialogue in the kitchen confrontation is naturalistic and reveals character depths, with Eduardo's raw emotion contrasting Mark's deflection, but some lines border on exposition. For instance, Mark's detailed list of needs (servers, programmers, money) feels tell-heavy, which could undermine the subtlety established in prior scenes, such as the nuanced arguments in the deposition flashbacks. This might make Mark appear less relatable or too business-oriented without showing his internal conflict.
  • The bank scene is a strong visual moment that externalizes Eduardo's anger through action, providing a clear cause-and-effect progression from the argument. Yet, it lacks deeper insight into Eduardo's mindset; adding a brief internal monologue or reaction shot could enhance empathy, especially given Eduardo's arc as a character who is often reactive rather than proactive, making his decision feel more earned.
  • In Thiel's office, the scene successfully conveys the thrill of entrepreneurial success with Mark and Sean's informal demeanor contrasting the high-stakes environment, but it underutilizes the opportunity to explore Mark's ambivalence about Eduardo. The question about Eduardo at the end is a good hook, but it could be more impactful if it tied back to Mark's emotional state, perhaps through a subtle reaction, to reinforce his isolation and foreshadow the fallout, aligning with the film's exploration of social disconnection.
  • Overall, while the scene advances the plot and character dynamics effectively, it occasionally prioritizes plot mechanics over emotional depth, which is a common pitfall in mid-script scenes. This could alienate viewers if the focus shifts too heavily to business elements, diluting the human drama that drives the story, especially when compared to earlier scenes like the rowing race or nightclub interactions that balance action with personal stakes.
Suggestions
  • Smooth out the intercutting by using transitional elements, such as a recurring sound motif (e.g., typing or phone rings) or voice-over from Mark's perspective, to create a more fluid connection between locations and maintain emotional continuity.
  • Refine the dialogue in the kitchen scene to reduce exposition; for example, show Mark's concerns about resources through visual cuts to overloaded servers or stressed coders in the background, allowing the audience to infer rather than be told.
  • Add more physicality and subtext to Eduardo's character in the bank scene, such as a close-up on his hands trembling or a flashback to a happier moment with Mark, to deepen the audience's understanding of his motivations and make his actions more emotionally resonant.
  • In Thiel's office, incorporate subtle character beats for Mark, like a hesitant glance or a brief pause before responding, to humanize him and highlight his internal conflict about loyalty versus ambition, making the scene more nuanced and engaging.
  • Consider extending the emotional arc in the kitchen confrontation by including a moment of vulnerability from Mark, such as admitting his fear of failure, to balance the power dynamic and prevent him from seeming overly antagonistic, which could enrich the scene's depth and tie into the film's themes.
  • Ensure the scene's pacing aligns with the overall script by varying shot lengths and focusing on key emotional beats, such as Eduardo's realization in the bank, to build tension gradually rather than rushing through plot points, enhancing the dramatic impact in this pivotal act.



Scene 50 - Confrontation in the Dark
INT. EDUARDO’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
A summer sub-let. A studio apartment the size of a small tool
shed.

EDUARDO is asleep on top of the covers in the un-air
conditioned apartment when he wakes up to the sound of a key
in the door.
One lock un-locks, then another--
--and then the last.
The door opens and CHRISTY is framed by the dingy light of the
hallway.
EDUARDO
Jesus Christ.
CHRISTY
When did you get back?
EDUARDO
You scared me. I need you to knock.
CHRISTY
When did you get back?
EDUARDO
I got back this afternoon.
CHRISTY
And when were you going to call me?
EDUARDO
Chris, it was kind of a rough trip and I
was tired and--
CHRISTY
Or answer one of my 47 texts? Did you
know I sent 47 texts?
EDUARDO
I did, and I thought that was incredibly
normal behavior.
CHRISTY
Are you mocking me?
EDUARDO
I brought you a present.
CHRISTY
Why does your status say “single” on your
Facebook page?
EDUARDO
(beat)
What?

CHRISTY
Why does your relationship status say
“single” on your Facebook page?
EDUARDO
I was single when I set up the page.
CHRISTY
And you just never bothered to change it?
EDUARDO
(beat)
I--
CHRISTY
What?!
EDUARDO
I don’t know how.
CHRISTY
Do I look stupid to you?
EDUARDO
No. Calm down.
CHRISTY
You’re asking me to believe that the CFO
of Facebook doesn’t know how to change
his relationship status on Facebook?
EDUARDO
It’s a little embarrassing so you should
take it as a sign of trust that I would
tell you that.
CHRISTY
Go to hell.
EDUARDO
(calming)
Take it easy.
CHRISTY
No, you didn’t change it so you could
screw Silicon Valley sluts every time you
go out to see Mark.
EDUARDO
That is not even remotely true and I can
promise you that the Silicon Valley sluts
don’t care what anyone’s relationship
status is on Facebook. Please, open your
present.
EDUARDO’s cell phone RINGS--

CHRISTY
Oh, your phone does work.
EDUARDO reaches for his cell but CHRISTY grabs it first to
check the ID.
CHRISTY (CONT’D)
It’s Mark.
CHRISTY tosses the still ringing phone back to him--
EDUARDO
Okay, this is gonna be tricky. Here, open
your present. It’s a silk scarf.
CHRISTY
Have you ever seen me wear a scarf?
EDUARDO
This’ll be your first.
EDUARDO’s gotten the gift box out of his half un-packed
suitcase, tossed it to CHRISTY and finally answered the phone.
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
(into phone)
Yeah.
INTERCUT WITH:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In a tense night scene, Eduardo is awakened in his small studio apartment by Christy, who confronts him about his lack of communication during his trip and his unchanged Facebook relationship status. Accusations of neglect and potential infidelity escalate the argument, with Christy expressing her jealousy and frustration. Eduardo, startled and defensive, attempts to calm her with humor and a gift, a silk scarf, but the tension remains high. The conflict is interrupted when Eduardo's phone rings, and Christy checks the caller ID, revealing it's Mark, before tossing the phone back to Eduardo as he answers, shifting the focus away from their argument.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Authentic character interactions
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Relatively contained setting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the emotional intensity and underlying conflicts between the characters, providing depth to their dynamics and setting the stage for further developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring relationship dynamics and miscommunication is effectively portrayed, adding depth to the characters and advancing the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses by revealing the strained relationship between Eduardo and Christy, setting the stage for potential conflicts and character developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on relationship dynamics, exploring themes of trust, communication, and perception in a confrontational and emotionally charged manner. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable, enhancing the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Eduardo and Christy are well-developed, showcasing their vulnerabilities, insecurities, and conflicting emotions. Their interactions feel authentic and engaging.

Character Changes: 8

Both Eduardo and Christy undergo subtle changes in their dynamic, revealing deeper layers of their personalities and setting the stage for potential growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to explain and justify his actions to Christy, trying to maintain a sense of trust and connection despite the misunderstandings and accusations.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to diffuse the tension with Christy and present her with a gift, attempting to mend their relationship.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between Eduardo and Christy is palpable, driving the emotional intensity of the scene and hinting at deeper issues within their relationship.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Christy challenging Eduardo's explanations and perceptions, creating a sense of uncertainty and conflict that drives the interaction forward.

High Stakes: 8

While the stakes are primarily emotional in this scene, the potential impact on the characters' relationship and personal growth adds significance to the unfolding narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the character relationships and introducing potential conflicts that could impact future events.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected revelations and confrontations between the characters, keeping the audience on edge about the outcome of the interaction.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around trust, communication, and perceptions of honesty within a relationship. Christy questions Eduardo's intentions and honesty, challenging his self-perception and trustworthiness.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly in portraying the frustration and vulnerability of the characters, creating a compelling and relatable moment.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and emotional depth of the scene, highlighting the characters' frustrations and misunderstandings.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional conflict, sharp dialogue, and the unfolding of relationship dynamics that keep the audience invested in the characters' interactions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional intensity, allowing the dialogue to flow naturally and heighten the conflict between the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a dialogue-heavy scene, making it easy to follow the character interactions and emotional beats.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dialogue-driven confrontation, effectively building tension and conflict through the characters' interactions.


Critique
  • This scene effectively captures the personal fallout from the professional pressures in the story, mirroring the larger themes of miscommunication and betrayal in the founding of Facebook. The confrontation between Eduardo and Christy highlights Eduardo's isolation and the strain on his relationships due to his involvement with the company, which is a strong character-driven moment that adds depth to Eduardo's arc. However, the scene risks feeling somewhat detached from the main narrative thread, as it focuses heavily on a romantic subplot that, while thematically relevant, may not advance the central business conflicts as directly as other scenes. The humor in the dialogue, such as Eduardo's sarcastic remark about the 47 texts being 'incredibly normal behavior,' provides levity and makes the argument engaging, but it could be more nuanced to avoid coming across as overly comedic in a story that often deals with serious themes of ambition and deception.
  • Christy's character is portrayed as highly emotional and accusatory, which serves to escalate the conflict, but she feels underdeveloped and somewhat stereotypical as the 'jealous girlfriend.' This lack of depth makes her outburst less impactful and could alienate viewers who see her as a one-dimensional obstacle rather than a fully realized character. Additionally, the scene's reliance on dialogue to convey emotion means that visual and physical elements are underutilized; for instance, the description of the apartment is vivid, but more could be done to show Eduardo's exhaustion or Christy's anger through actions, like her body language or the way she handles objects, to create a more cinematic experience. The transition to the phone call with Mark is abrupt and feels like a setup for the next scene rather than a satisfying conclusion, potentially leaving the audience wanting more resolution or buildup.
  • In terms of pacing, the scene moves quickly through the argument, which keeps the energy high, but it might benefit from a slight slowdown to allow the audience to absorb the emotional weight, especially since this is a pivotal moment in Eduardo's personal life that parallels his professional downfall. The dialogue, while witty, occasionally feels expository, such as when Christy explicitly questions Eduardo's Facebook status, which could be shown more subtly through subtext or prior actions to make it feel more organic. Overall, the scene succeeds in humanizing Eduardo and illustrating the personal costs of his ambitions, but it could strengthen its connection to the overarching story by tying Christy's accusations more directly to Eduardo's business struggles, reinforcing how the Facebook world is infiltrating and disrupting his personal relationships.
  • The use of the un-air-conditioned apartment as a setting effectively conveys Eduardo's discomfort and lower status compared to the high-tech environments in California, symbolizing his marginalization in the company. However, this visual metaphor is not fully exploited, as the focus remains heavily on dialogue, missing an opportunity to use the environment to enhance the mood—such as sweat on Eduardo's brow or the stifling heat amplifying the tension. The scene's length and content feel appropriate for a transitional moment, but in the context of the entire script (being scene 50 out of 60), it could be more concise to maintain momentum toward the climax, ensuring that every element serves the story's progression rather than dwelling on side conflicts.
  • Finally, the emotional tone is well-handled, with a mix of humor, frustration, and underlying sadness that reflects Eduardo's character development. However, the scene could better balance the comedic elements with genuine pathos to avoid undermining the seriousness of Eduardo's situation. For readers or viewers, this scene provides insight into how personal relationships are collateral damage in the pursuit of success, but it might confuse those not deeply invested in the subplot, as Christy's role has been minimal in prior scenes. Strengthening her character or integrating her more seamlessly into the narrative could make this confrontation more resonant and less like an isolated outburst.
Suggestions
  • Integrate the personal conflict more directly with the business plot by having Christy reference specific events from Eduardo's work life, such as the frozen bank account or his exclusion from decisions, to make the argument feel more connected to the main story and heighten the stakes.
  • Develop Christy's character further by adding backstory or subtle hints in earlier scenes about her insecurities, making her reaction more empathetic and less abrupt; this could involve showing her attempts to support Eduardo in previous interactions.
  • Enhance visual storytelling by incorporating more action and environmental details, such as Eduardo wiping sweat from his face due to the heat or Christy pacing angrily, to convey emotions without relying solely on dialogue, making the scene more dynamic and filmic.
  • Refine the dialogue to include more subtext; for example, instead of Eduardo directly saying he doesn't know how to change his status, show him fumbling with his phone or avoiding the topic, allowing the audience to infer his embarrassment and adding layers to the interaction.
  • Shorten the scene slightly to improve pacing, focusing on the most intense moments of the argument and the phone call setup, ensuring it transitions smoothly to the next scene without dragging, while maintaining its emotional impact.
  • Consider adding a small resolution or cliffhanger at the end to make the scene feel less like a setup; for instance, have Eduardo's expression change after answering the phone, hinting at the impending business conflict, to create a stronger narrative link.



Scene 51 - Fire and Reconciliation
INT. PALO ALTO HOUSE - SAME TIME
MARK
(into his cell phone)
You froze our account?
In the background there’s a small celebration going on with
SEAN, DUSTIN, the INTERNS and of course some GIRLS. Champagne
is being sprayed from shaken bottles and the girls are dancing
to triumphant music.
EDUARDO
I did.
MARK
You froze the account.
EDUARDO
I had to get your attention, Mark.
MARK
Do you realize that you jeopardized the
entire company? Do you realize that your
actions could have permanently destroyed
everything I’ve been working on?

EDUARDO
We’ve been working on.
MARK
Without money, the site can’t function.
Let me tell you the difference between
Facebook and everybody else: WE DON’T
CRASH EVER!
What EDUARDO can’t see behind his back is that CHRISTY has
taken the gift box and lit it on fire with a cigarette
lighter.
MARK (CONT’D)
If the servers are down for even a day,
our entire reputation is irreversibly
destroyed. Users are fickle. Friendster
has proven that fact.
And CHRISTY’s now dropped the flaming cardboard box into the
wastebasket where the fire grows larger. She casually kicks
the basket over with her foot.
EDUARDO
Look--
MARK
Even a few people leaving would
reverberate through the entire user base.
The users are interconnected, that’s the
whole point! College kids are online
because their friends are online and if
one domino goes, all the dominos go! Do
you get that?! I’m not going back to
Caribbean Night at A-E-Pi!
EDUARDO
(finally seeing the fire)
Holy shit!
(to CHRISTY)
What is wrong with you?
MARK
Did you like being nobody?! Did you like
being a joke?! Do you wanna go back to
that?!
EDUARDO
Hang on, hang on.
EDUARDO hits a button on his cell and tosses it down. We’ll
keep hearing MARK’s voice as EDUARDO runs out into the
hallway, grabs a fire extinguisher from its wall bracket,
comes back in and sprays out the fire.
MARK
That was the act of a child, not a
businessman.
(MORE)

MARK (CONT'D)
And it certainly wasn’t the act of a
friend. You know how embarrassed I was
for me to try and cash a check today? I’m
not going back to that life.
(beat)
Maybe you were frustrated.
EDUARDO
(shouting)
Yeah!
MARK
Maybe you were angry.
EDUARDO
(calling out)
I was!
MARK
But I’m willing to let bygones be bygones
because, Wardo, I’ve got some good news.
EDUARDO--with the fire now out--picks up the phone.
EDUARDO
I’m sorry. I was angry and maybe it was
childish. But I had to get your
attention.
MARK
Wardo, I said I’ve got some good news.
EDUARDO
What is it?
MARK
Peter Thiel’s just made an angel
investment of a half a million dollars.
EDUARDO
(pause)
What?
MARK
A half a million dollars and he’s setting
us up in an office. They want to re-
incorporate the company, they want to
meet you they need your signature on some
documents so get your ass on the next
flight back to San Francisco.
(beat)
I need my CFO.
EDUARDO
(beat--smiles)
I’m on my way.

MARK
Wardo.
EDUARDO
Yeah.
MARK
We did it.
EDUARDO clicks the phone shut. After a moment...
CHRISTY
(like nothing’s happened)
Wardo?
And EDUARDO jumps because CHRISTY was standing behind him--
EDUARDO
Aaggh!
CHRISTY
You going back there already?
EDUARDO
Yes. Also I’m breaking up with you.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Conflict","Character Study"]

Summary In scene 51, Mark and Eduardo engage in a heated phone argument about Eduardo freezing their company bank account, which Mark sees as a betrayal. Amidst a celebration in Palo Alto, Eduardo defends his actions but is distracted when Christy accidentally starts a fire. After extinguishing the flames, Eduardo returns to the call, where Mark shifts from anger to forgiveness, revealing a $500,000 investment from Peter Thiel. Eduardo apologizes and agrees to return to San Francisco, but abruptly breaks up with Christy, leading to a chaotic yet reconciliatory conclusion.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
  • Plot development
Weaknesses
  • Potentially excessive dialogue
  • Lack of external action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful due to the intense conflict, emotional depth, and significant plot development. The dialogue is sharp and reveals crucial character dynamics, driving the story forward with high stakes and emotional resonance.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around the conflict between business partners turned friends, highlighting the complexities of loyalty, ambition, and personal relationships. The scene effectively explores these themes through intense dialogue and actions.

Plot: 9.2

The plot of the scene is crucial as it marks a turning point in the relationship between Mark and Eduardo, setting the stage for significant developments in their business partnership. The conflict and resolution drive the narrative forward with impactful consequences.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on conflicts within a tech startup, blending personal relationships with professional challenges. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.3

The characters of Mark, Eduardo, and Christy are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their conflicting motivations, emotions, and vulnerabilities. The dialogue reveals layers of their personalities and drives the emotional impact of the confrontation.

Character Changes: 9

The scene showcases significant changes in the characters of Mark and Eduardo, particularly in their relationship dynamics and personal growth. The confrontation leads to a shift in their partnership and sets the stage for future developments.

Internal Goal: 9

Mark's internal goal is to maintain control and protect the company he has worked hard to build. This reflects his need for success, fear of failure, and desire for recognition.

External Goal: 8

Mark's external goal is to secure funding and stabilize the company's operations. This reflects the immediate challenge of financial instability and the need for growth.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The level of conflict in the scene is intense, with emotional, personal, and business conflicts converging to create a highly charged atmosphere. The confrontation between Mark, Eduardo, and Christy escalates the stakes and drives the emotional impact of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and emotional turmoil driving the conflict. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters' decisions will impact the outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, involving the potential destruction of the company, the betrayal of trust, and the loss of personal relationships. The characters face critical decisions that could impact their futures and the success of their business venture.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly by reshaping the dynamics between the main characters, introducing new conflicts, and setting up future plot developments. The resolution of the confrontation propels the narrative towards a new direction.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions of the characters, such as the fire incident, which adds a layer of suspense and uncertainty to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around loyalty, responsibility, and maturity. Mark values professionalism and commitment, while Eduardo's actions challenge these values, leading to a clash of perspectives.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.3

The scene has a significant emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, anger, and vulnerability in the characters. The intense confrontation and personal revelations heighten the emotional resonance, engaging the audience in the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 9.5

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, emotional, and impactful, effectively conveying the tension and conflict between the characters. The exchanges reveal underlying emotions, motivations, and power dynamics, driving the scene's intensity.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high emotional stakes, rapid dialogue exchanges, and escalating tension. The conflict and character dynamics draw the audience in and keep them invested.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum, keeping the audience engaged and reflecting the urgency of the characters' interactions. The rhythm enhances the emotional impact of the dialogue.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting aligns with industry standards, making the scene easy to follow and engaging for readers. It effectively conveys the intensity and pacing of the interaction.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and reveals character dynamics. It adheres to the expected format for a dramatic confrontation in a screenplay.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting to heighten tension between the professional conflict in Palo Alto and the personal chaos in New York, mirroring the themes of disconnection and betrayal in the overall script. However, the abrupt introduction of the fire started by Christy feels like a distracting sideshow that undermines the gravity of Mark and Eduardo's argument. This visual element, while adding energy, risks pulling focus from the core emotional confrontation about trust and business decisions, potentially making the scene feel uneven and less cohesive for the audience.
  • Dialogue in this scene is sharp and revealing, particularly in how it exposes the fractures in Mark and Eduardo's friendship, but some lines come across as overly expository or melodramatic. For instance, Mark's lines about not crashing and the interconnectedness of users reiterate themes that may have been covered earlier, which could feel redundant. Additionally, Christy's silent, destructive actions lack sufficient buildup or motivation, making her character appear one-dimensional and stereotypical, which diminishes the scene's emotional authenticity and makes it harder for viewers to empathize with the personal stakes.
  • The rapid shift from heated conflict to reconciliation feels unearned and rushed, which is a common issue in scenes with high emotional stakes. Mark's quick forgiveness after berating Eduardo might not allow enough time for the audience to process the depth of their falling out, especially given the buildup from previous scenes. This could weaken the impact of their relationship's deterioration, a key arc in the script, and make the resolution seem contrived rather than cathartic, potentially confusing readers or viewers about the characters' motivations and growth.
  • Visually, the contrast between the celebratory atmosphere in Palo Alto and the destructive outburst in New York is striking and thematically rich, emphasizing the diverging paths of the characters. However, the fire incident, while dramatic, might come off as overly comedic or absurd in a story that's otherwise grounded in real-world tech drama, risking tonal inconsistency. This could alienate audiences if not balanced properly, as it shifts the focus from the intellectual and emotional battles to a more slapstick element that doesn't fully integrate with the script's serious exploration of ambition and betrayal.
Suggestions
  • To improve pacing and focus, consider reducing the emphasis on the fire subplot or integrating it more seamlessly into the dialogue, such as having Eduardo reference Christy's instability earlier in the conversation to make her actions feel less random and more tied to the emotional undercurrents.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it more subtle and character-driven; for example, show Mark's frustration through subtext or pauses rather than direct statements, and give Christy a line or two that hints at her jealousy or insecurity before the fire, adding depth and making her behavior more believable and less caricatured.
  • Extend the conflict phase before the reconciliation to build more tension; perhaps add a moment where Eduardo hesitates or questions Mark's intentions, allowing for a more gradual emotional shift that feels earned and strengthens the scene's role in the larger narrative arc of their friendship's collapse.
  • Enhance thematic consistency by using the fire as a metaphor for the 'burning' of their relationship or the destructive nature of unchecked ambition; this could be achieved through visual cues or Eduardo's internal reaction, ensuring that all elements serve the story's themes rather than distracting from them.



Scene 52 - Negotiating Ownership
INT. FACEBOOK OFFICE - DAY
A glass conference room in the corner of a glass bullpen on a
high floor of a high rise.
Cartons are being unpacked, computers are everywhere along
with bags of potato chips and boxes of cereal.
In the conference room, EDUARDO is sitting with three LAWYERS
at a round, glass table and documents have been put out in
front of him.
We can see through the glass that MARK is working at a
computer nearby. SEAN is also hovering in the background.
LAWYER
Four documents. The first two are common
stock purchase agreements allowing you to
buy stock in the newly re-incorporated
Facebook as opposed to the old shares
which are now worthless. The third is the
exchange agreement, allowing you to
exchange the old shares for new shares
and then finally a voter holding
agreement.
EDUARDO
How many shares of stock will I own?

LAWYER
1,328,334.
EDUARDO
Jesus Christ.
LAWYER
That represents a 34.4% ownership share.
Why the increase from the original 30%?
EDUARDO
Because you may need to dilute it to
award shares to new investors.
LAWYER
I like working with business majors.
EDUARDO
Economics.
LAWYER #2
You should know that Mark’s already taken
his percentage from 60 down to 51.
EDUARDO
Mark doesn’t care about money and he
needs to be protected.
LAWYER
Dustin Moskovitz owns 6.81%, Sean Parker
6.47%--
EDUARDO
I can live with that.
LAWYER
And Peter Theil 7%. Would you like to use
my pen?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In scene 52, Eduardo meets with three lawyers in a glass conference room at the Facebook office to discuss legal documents regarding the company's re-incorporation. He learns that his ownership will increase to 34.4% with 1,328,334 shares, a change from his original 30% to accommodate potential dilution from new investors. Despite his surprise at the share count, Eduardo accepts the terms, acknowledging the need to protect Mark's interests and showing understanding of the other stakeholders' percentages. Meanwhile, Mark works at a computer nearby, and Sean is present in the background. The scene captures the bustling startup environment before concluding with a lawyer offering Eduardo a pen to sign the documents.
Strengths
  • Clear focus on ownership dynamics
  • Tension-filled negotiation
  • Insight into business intricacies
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Focused primarily on business aspects

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the importance of ownership and dilution in a business context, showcasing the power dynamics and concerns of the characters involved.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of ownership and dilution is central to the scene, highlighting the business intricacies and challenges faced by the characters.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as the characters negotiate ownership shares, setting the stage for future conflicts and developments within the company.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on business negotiations and ownership disputes within a tech company. The dialogue feels authentic and the characters' actions reflect their motivations effectively.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' motivations and concerns are well-defined, adding depth to the scene and setting up potential conflicts and resolutions.

Character Changes: 7

Eduardo experiences a shift in his understanding of ownership and the company dynamics, leading to potential changes in his approach and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

Eduardo's internal goal in this scene is to understand and negotiate his ownership share in the company. This reflects his desire for control, security, and a sense of fairness in the business he helped build.

External Goal: 7

Eduardo's external goal is to secure a fair ownership share and protect his interests in the company amidst negotiations and changes in ownership percentages.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict arises from the differing perspectives on ownership and control, adding tension and drama to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting interests, shifting ownership percentages, and the uncertainty of the negotiations creating obstacles for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes revolve around ownership shares and control of the company, impacting the characters' relationships and future decisions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene significantly moves the story forward by establishing key ownership details and potential conflicts, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting ownership percentages, conflicting interests, and the uncertain outcome of the negotiations, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the values of ownership, trust, and protection. Eduardo's belief in protecting Mark and the company's interests clashes with the lawyers' focus on legal agreements and ownership percentages.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact is moderate, with a focus on the business aspects rather than deep emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp and business-oriented, reflecting the characters' personalities and highlighting the stakes involved in the ownership discussion.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the high-stakes negotiations, power struggles, and the dynamic between the characters that keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense through the dialogue exchanges and reveals, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the negotiations.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a dialogue-heavy scene in a screenplay, making it easy to follow the character interactions and setting descriptions.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a business negotiation setting, with clear dialogue exchanges and character interactions that drive the plot forward effectively.


Critique
  • This scene effectively advances the plot by formalizing the company's re-incorporation and highlighting Eduardo's loyalty to Mark, which underscores the themes of trust and betrayal central to the screenplay. The use of the glass conference room is a strong visual choice, symbolizing transparency and vulnerability, allowing the audience to see Mark and Sean in the background, which subtly builds tension and foreshadows the impending conflict. However, the scene feels somewhat static and expository, relying heavily on dialogue to deliver legal jargon and share percentages, which may come across as overly technical and disengaging for viewers not familiar with business mechanics. This could alienate the audience if it prioritizes information dump over emotional engagement, making the scene feel more like a procedural step than a dramatic moment. Additionally, Eduardo's quick acceptance of the share dilution and his defense of Mark lack depth in exploring his internal conflict, especially given the buildup of resentment in previous scenes; this diminishes the opportunity to show his character's gradual erosion of trust, which is crucial for the payoff in later scenes. The presence of Sean hovering in the background is intriguing but underutilized, as it could have been leveraged to heighten unease through more active visual storytelling, such as meaningful glances or subtle actions that hint at his manipulative influence. Overall, while the scene efficiently moves the story forward, it misses a chance to deepen character development and emotional stakes, potentially making it feel like a perfunctory transition rather than a pivotal moment in the narrative arc.
  • In terms of dialogue, the exchanges are clear and functional, serving to explain the business aspects, but they lack the subtext and conflict that characterize stronger scenes in the screenplay. For instance, Eduardo's line about Mark needing protection feels earnest but could benefit from more nuance to reflect his growing doubts, making his character more relatable and complex. The visual elements, like the bustling office with unpacked cartons and casual snacks, effectively convey the startup atmosphere and contrast with the formality of the meeting, but they don't fully integrate with the emotional core of the scene, resulting in a disconnect between the high-energy environment and the contained conversation. Pacing-wise, the scene is concise, which is appropriate for its role, but it risks feeling rushed in the context of the film's rhythm, especially after the intense confrontation in Scene 51. Furthermore, as this is a key moment in establishing the corporate shift that leads to Eduardo's downfall, it could better tie into the overarching themes of ambition and isolation by incorporating more sensory details or micro-expressions that foreshadow the betrayal, helping the reader or viewer understand the characters' motivations and the inevitable breakdown of their relationship.
Suggestions
  • Enhance emotional depth by adding subtle physical cues or internal reactions for Eduardo, such as hesitant pauses or glances at Mark through the glass, to show his underlying concerns and make his acceptance feel less abrupt and more conflicted.
  • Revise the dialogue to include more subtext and natural conflict; for example, have Eduardo question the share dilution more pointedly or reference past events to build tension, making the conversation feel less expository and more character-driven.
  • Utilize the visual elements more dynamically by incorporating camera movements or cuts that emphasize the contrast between the sterile conference room and the lively office, perhaps showing Sean's smug expression or Mark's distraction to heighten suspense without adding dialogue.
  • Extend the scene slightly to include a brief moment of reflection or interaction outside the conference room, allowing for a smoother transition and better integration with the emotional fallout from Scene 51, ensuring the audience feels the weight of Eduardo's decisions.
  • Incorporate thematic reinforcement by having Eduardo's signing of the documents paralleled with a quick cut or visual motif that echoes earlier scenes of exclusion, such as the glass walls isolating him, to strengthen foreshadowing and maintain narrative cohesion.



Scene 53 - Reflections of Betrayal
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - EVENING
It’s dusk now and the sky outside the room is turning purple.
EDUARDO seems lost in thought.
GRETCHEN
(helping)
Eduardo?
EDUARDO looks up.
EDUARDO
(pause)
Could you please repeat the question?

SY
No. It was an outrageously leading
question the first time around and now
you want us to hear it again?
GRETCHEN
Yes, would you read it back, please.
SY
Well, go ahead.
COURT REPORTER
Counsel: “And when you signed these
documents, were you aware that you were
signing your own death certificate?”
EDUARDO
(pause)
No.
(pause)
It was insanely stupid of me not to have
my own lawyers look over all the...the,
uh...in all honesty I thought they were
my lawyers.
(then to MARK)
I was your only friend. You had one
friend.
(beat)
My father won’t even look at me.
GRETCHEN
(beat)
Okay. Eduardo? Did Mr. Zuckerberg say
anything to you after you signed the
papers?
EDUARDO
There was a lot of handshaking and a lot
of congratulations. He’d already told me
that he wouldn’t be coming back to school
for at least a semester so we were saying
goodbye for a while. And then before I
left, he said--
CUT TO:
INT. FACEBOOK OFFICE - DAY
MARK
But you gotta come back. Somewhere around
the end of November/early December. Peter
wants to throw us an amazing party when
we hit a million members, it’s gonna be
out of control. You’ve gotta come back
for it.

EDUARDO
(quietly can’t believe it)
A million members.
MARK
Yeah.
EDUARDO
Remember the algorithm on the window at
Kirkland?
MARK
Yeah.
EDUARDO
Yeah, I’ll be here.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In scene 53, during an evening deposition, Eduardo appears lost in thought and struggles to answer a leading question from Gretchen about signing documents he didn't fully understand. Despite Sy's objections, the question reveals Eduardo's regret over not having his own legal representation. He emotionally addresses Mark, expressing feelings of betrayal and disappointment. A flashback to the Facebook office contrasts this somber moment, showcasing a time when Mark excitedly invited Eduardo to a party celebrating their success, highlighting their past friendship and collaboration.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension building
Weaknesses
  • Limited external action
  • Reliance on dialogue for emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures Eduardo's emotional turmoil and the pivotal moment of realization in his relationship with Mark. It sets the stage for significant character development and plot progression.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring Eduardo's conflicting emotions and his realization of being deceived is compelling. It adds depth to the character dynamics and sets the stage for future developments.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as Eduardo grapples with his changing perception of Mark and the company. The scene sets up crucial conflicts and resolutions that will impact the narrative trajectory.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on friendship and betrayal, delving into the complexities of human relationships with authenticity. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and offer a unique take on familiar themes.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Eduardo's character is central to the scene, showcasing his vulnerability, regret, and defiance. Mark's off-screen presence adds to the tension and highlights the complexities of their relationship.

Character Changes: 8

Eduardo undergoes significant emotional changes in the scene, moving from loyalty and trust to betrayal and defiance. This transformation sets the stage for his evolving character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his betrayal by his friend and the consequences of his actions. It reflects his need for validation, his fear of losing his only friend, and his desire for reconciliation.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the legal proceedings and protect his interests in the deposition. It reflects the immediate challenge of defending himself against accusations and maintaining his reputation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Eduardo's loyalty to Mark and his growing realization of betrayal drives the emotional intensity of the scene. It sets up internal and external conflicts that will shape future events.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and emotional stakes driving the interactions. The audience is kept uncertain about the outcome, adding suspense and complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Eduardo grapples with the betrayal of his friend and the potential loss of his position in the company. The scene sets up crucial decisions and consequences for the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by deepening the conflict between Eduardo and Mark, setting up future confrontations and resolutions. It advances the narrative while developing key character dynamics.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable in its emotional revelations and character dynamics, keeping the audience on edge about the protagonist's choices and the outcome of the legal proceedings.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around loyalty, trust, and betrayal. Eduardo's belief in friendship and trust clashes with Mark's ambition and betrayal, challenging his values and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of regret, betrayal, and defiance. Eduardo's internal struggle resonates with the audience, creating a poignant and memorable moment.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys Eduardo's inner turmoil and conflict. It captures the emotional intensity of the scene and reveals key aspects of the characters' motivations and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of emotional depth, conflict, and character dynamics. The dialogue-driven interactions and shifting settings keep the audience invested in the unfolding drama.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, allowing for moments of reflection and confrontation to unfold naturally. The rhythm enhances the scene's impact and character dynamics.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for the genre, with clear scene descriptions and character interactions that enhance readability and visual clarity.

Structure: 8.5

The scene follows a well-paced structure that effectively transitions between the deposition room and the Facebook office, maintaining coherence and narrative flow.


Critique
  • This scene effectively captures the emotional fallout of Eduardo's betrayal, highlighting his vulnerability and sense of isolation through his direct address to Mark, which adds a raw, personal layer to the deposition testimony. It successfully contrasts the cold, formal setting of the deposition with the warmer, nostalgic flashback, emphasizing the theme of lost friendship and the cost of ambition in the larger narrative. However, the dialogue in the deposition feels somewhat expository, with Eduardo's lines about not having his own lawyers and his father's disappointment serving more as info-dumps than organic emotional revelations, which might make it less immersive for the audience and could benefit from subtler integration to maintain dramatic tension.
  • The intercut to the flashback is a strong narrative device that provides a poignant juxtaposition between past camaraderie and present conflict, reinforcing the story's core themes of trust and deception. Yet, the flashback itself is brief and somewhat abrupt, lacking deeper visual or sensory details that could heighten its emotional impact— for instance, more specific references to the algorithm or shared memories might make it feel more lived-in and less like a quick cutaway. Additionally, Eduardo's emotional outburst feels authentic but could be more nuanced; his line 'I was your only friend' is powerful, but it risks coming across as overly simplistic without additional context or buildup from earlier scenes, potentially undercutting the complexity of their relationship as established in the script.
  • Pacing-wise, the scene builds tension well through Eduardo's hesitation and the repetition of the question, but the transition back to the flashback and then to the end feels rushed, which might dilute the weight of the million-member party invitation. In the context of the entire screenplay, this scene is pivotal for Eduardo's character arc, showing his realization of being sidelined, but it could better tie into the legal and business conflicts by referencing specific events from previous scenes (like the bank account freeze in Scene 51) to create a stronger sense of continuity and escalation. Overall, while the scene advances the plot and deepens character understanding, it occasionally prioritizes emotional catharsis over subtle storytelling, which is common in deposition scenes but could be refined for greater cinematic impact.
  • Visually, the setting of the deposition room at dusk with a purple sky adds a moody atmosphere that complements the introspective tone, but there's an opportunity to use more symbolic elements—such as the fading light mirroring Eduardo's fading hopes—to enhance thematic depth. The flashback to the Facebook office is concise but could incorporate more dynamic blocking or facial expressions to convey the excitement of success versus the current regret, making it more engaging for viewers. As this is scene 53 out of 60, it serves as a emotional climax in Eduardo's storyline, but it might benefit from balancing his perspective with hints of Mark's motivations to avoid portraying him as a one-dimensional antagonist, aligning with the film's exploration of ambiguous morality.
  • In terms of dialogue authenticity, Eduardo's admission of being 'insanely stupid' feels candid and relatable, but it could be more varied in language to reflect his background as a sophisticated business student, perhaps incorporating more specific regrets or metaphors to elevate the writing. The scene's strength lies in its ability to evoke sympathy for Eduardo, but it risks feeling repetitive if similar emotional beats have been hit in prior scenes; ensuring this scene offers a fresh angle on the betrayal could prevent audience fatigue and maintain engagement through the film's denouement.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue in the deposition to make it less expository by weaving in Eduardo's reflections more naturally— for example, have him pause and recall specific moments from their friendship before stating 'I was your only friend,' to build emotional layers and avoid telling rather than showing.
  • Enhance the flashback sequence by adding sensory details, such as the sound of keyboards clacking or the visual of the algorithm on the window, to make it more vivid and immersive, helping the audience connect emotionally and reinforcing the theme of their shared origins.
  • Improve pacing by extending the flashback slightly or adding a reaction shot from Eduardo in the deposition to bridge the two timelines more smoothly, ensuring the contrast between past and present feels deliberate and not abrupt.
  • Strengthen character consistency by including a subtle reference to recent events, like the bank account freeze from Scene 51, in Eduardo's testimony to heighten the sense of betrayal and provide better narrative flow, making the scene feel more integrated into the overall story.
  • Consider adding visual motifs, such as Eduardo glancing at a photo or document that triggers the flashback, to make the transition more cinematic and less reliant on dialogue, while also exploring Mark's off-screen presence through Eduardo's gaze or imagined responses to deepen the interpersonal conflict.



Scene 54 - Betrayal and Revenge
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO STREET - DAY
A brand new black Escalade pulls up in front of a gleaming
glass and chrome office building. SEAN is at the wheel and
MARK, in the passenger seat, is wearing brightly colored
pajamas with his hair a mess.
They get out of the car and huddle on the sidewalk.
MARK
You sure about this?
SEAN
You’re 20 minutes late. You’re going to
walk in there and say you overslept and
you didn’t have time to get dressed.
They’re gonna pitch you. Case Equity is
gonna pitch you. They’re gonna beg you to
take their money. You’re gonna nod,
you’re gonna nod, you’re gonna nod and
then you’re gonna say, “Which one of you
is Roth--” No, not Roth, Manningham.
“Which one of you is Mitchell
Manningham?”. And he’ll say, “I am”. And
you say, “Sean Parker says ‘Fuck you’ and
on walk out.
MARK
(pause)
Okay.
CUT TO:

INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - EVENING
EDUARDO
In late November I got the e-mail from
Mark telling me to come out for the
millionth member party.
GRETCHEN
What else did the e-mail say?
EDUARDO
It said that we had to have a business
meeting. That Mark and Sean had played
some kind of revenge stunt on Case Equity
and that Manningham was so impressed that
he was making an investment offer that
was hard to turn down.
CUT TO:
INT. NEW FACEBOOK OFFICES - NIGHT
EDUARDO (V.O.)
I went out to California and I went
straight to the new offices.
And it’s clear that we’re in the offices of a new, high-tech,
very successful internet company. The Facebook logo in blue
metallic letters on the wall, the maple desks, new computer
monitors, carpeting, a wall covered in graffiti by an artist
commissioned for the job and tons of young employees.
EDUARDO (V.O.)
I didn’t know whether to dress for the
party or for the business meeting so I
kind of dressed for both.
We see that most of the employees, especially the women, are
dressed to go to an after-work, late-night party.
EDUARDO (V.O.)
But it didn’t matter.
GRETCHEN (V.O.)
Why not?
EDUARDO (V.O.)
Because I wasn’t called out there for
either one.
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - EVENING
GRETCHEN
What were you called out there for?

EDUARDO
An ambush.
CUT BACK TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Sean and Mark plot a revenge stunt against investors, with Mark preparing to insult Mitchell Manningham during a pitch. The narrative shifts to Eduardo's deposition, where he reflects on being invited to California under false pretenses, feeling ambushed by Mark and Sean's actions. The contrasting settings highlight themes of betrayal and deception, culminating in Eduardo's realization of the betrayal.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Effective character dynamics
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Potential for dialogue clarity in intercut scenes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and emotion through the dialogue and character interactions, setting up significant developments for the plot.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around betrayal, confrontation, and personal reckoning, which are central themes in the narrative. The scene effectively explores these concepts through character interactions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses significantly in this scene, with key revelations and character decisions driving the story forward. The conflict and emotional stakes are heightened, leading to impactful developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to power dynamics and negotiation tactics, offering a unique perspective on ambition and risk-taking. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' emotions and motivations are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their vulnerabilities, conflicts, and evolving relationships. The dialogue and actions reveal layers of complexity in the characters.

Character Changes: 8

The scene leads to significant character changes, particularly in terms of trust, loyalty, and personal boundaries. The confrontations and revelations prompt characters to reassess their relationships and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his power and confidence by orchestrating a bold and risky move. This reflects his desire for control and recognition in a competitive environment.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to make a statement and challenge a potential investor, showcasing his defiance and strategic thinking in a high-stakes situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving personal betrayals, power struggles, and emotional confrontations. The high stakes and emotional impact drive the tension and drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing a challenging situation that tests his resolve and strategic thinking. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding to the scene's intensity.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, both personally and professionally, as characters face betrayals, confrontations, and decisions that could impact their relationships and the future of the company. The tension is palpable.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information, escalating conflicts, and setting up future developments. The narrative gains momentum as characters make pivotal decisions and confrontations.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the protagonist's unexpected actions and the uncertain outcome of his confrontation with the potential investor. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's willingness to take risks and defy conventional norms in pursuit of his goals. It challenges his beliefs about power dynamics and negotiation strategies.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of anger, betrayal, and resignation in the characters and the audience. The intense emotions drive the narrative forward and deepen the character dynamics.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, conflicts, and intentions, adding depth to the scene. The exchanges are impactful and reveal key aspects of the characters' personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, strategic dialogue, and the protagonist's bold actions. The tension and suspense keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' actions and dialogue.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, adhering to industry standards for screenplay presentation. It effectively conveys the visual and emotional elements of the story.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a well-paced structure that builds tension and intrigue effectively. It adheres to the expected format for its genre, maintaining a clear narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting between the past (Mark and Sean's revenge stunt) and the present (Eduardo's deposition) to build tension and reveal character motivations, mirroring the film's overall structure of parallel timelines. This technique helps the audience understand the escalating betrayals and Sean's growing influence on Mark, showing how Mark's initial awkwardness has evolved into calculated aggression. However, the revenge stunt feels somewhat contrived and overly simplistic, potentially undermining the realism that the script has built in earlier scenes; it risks portraying Mark as a caricature of a vengeful genius rather than a complex figure, which could alienate viewers who expect nuanced character development in a drama based on real events.
  • Eduardo's voice-over narration in the deposition and flashback sequences provides necessary exposition about the email and the ambush, but it leans heavily on telling rather than showing, which can make the scene feel expository and less engaging. This approach works in moderation to convey Eduardo's perspective and emotional state, effectively highlighting his sense of betrayal and isolation, but it might overwhelm the visual storytelling, reducing the impact of the high-tech office setting that symbolizes Facebook's rapid success and contrasting starkly with Eduardo's exclusion. Strengthening the visual and dialogue elements could make the ambush revelation more impactful and less reliant on voice-over.
  • The dialogue in the Escalade scene between Mark and Sean is sharp and reveals their dynamic—Sean's manipulative charisma influencing Mark's decisions—but it lacks depth in exploring Mark's internal conflict. While Mark's pause and simple 'Okay' show hesitation, more subtext or physical actions could better convey his transformation from a socially awkward programmer to a ruthless entrepreneur, making his character arc more believable and tying it to earlier scenes like the breakup with Erica. In the deposition, Eduardo's emotional outburst adds authenticity and pathos, connecting to his arc of loyalty turning to resentment, but it could be more nuanced to avoid melodrama, ensuring it resonates with the audience's understanding of his relationship with Mark from previous scenes.
  • Visually, the contrast between the sleek, modern Facebook offices and the casual, almost juvenile revenge plot enhances the theme of rapid technological advancement versus personal relationships, but the description of the offices feels generic and could be more specific to emphasize the company's culture and stakes. For instance, incorporating elements that reference earlier scenes, like coding whiteboards or social media mockups, would reinforce continuity and heighten the irony of Eduardo's exclusion from what he helped build. Additionally, the scene's placement near the end of the script (scene 54 of 60) effectively ramps up conflict towards the climax, but it could better foreshadow the resolution by deepening the sense of inevitability in the betrayals.
  • Overall, the scene successfully escalates the central conflicts of trust, ambition, and betrayal that define the script, with Eduardo's realization of the ambush serving as a pivotal moment that crystallizes the themes of social exclusion and the cost of success. However, the integration of the revenge stunt might disrupt the pacing, as it introduces a side plot that feels disconnected from the main narrative thread involving Eduardo, potentially diluting the emotional focus on his character in this act. Balancing these elements could make the scene more cohesive and emotionally resonant, helping readers and viewers fully grasp the human stakes amidst the business intrigue.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the revenge stunt sequence by adding more subtle character beats, such as Mark's facial expressions or body language to show his discomfort or excitement, making it feel more organic and tied to his growth, rather than a abrupt plot device.
  • Reduce reliance on voice-over by incorporating more visual storytelling in the flashback; for example, show Eduardo reading the email on-screen with reaction shots that convey his anticipation, then cut directly to his arrival at the offices to build suspense and immersion.
  • Develop dialogue with more subtext to reveal character motivations; in the Escalade scene, have Mark question Sean's advice implicitly through hesitant responses or references to past events, and in the deposition, let Eduardo's answers hint at deeper regrets without explicit statements to maintain dramatic tension.
  • Strengthen thematic connections by including visual callbacks to earlier scenes, such as a quick shot of a Kirkland dorm room photo or a reference to the algorithm on a whiteboard in the new offices, to emphasize how far the characters have come and heighten the sense of betrayal.
  • Adjust pacing by extending the deposition scenes to allow for more breathing room in Eduardo's emotional revelations, perhaps with pauses or interactions with other characters, to ensure the ambush twist lands with greater impact and avoids feeling rushed in the context of the overall script.



Scene 55 - Betrayal in the Boardroom
INT. NEW FACEBOOK OFFICES - NIGHT
LAWYER
Mr. Saverin, hey.
EDUARDO turns to see the LAWYER he dealt with earlier standing
by the door to a glass conference room.
LAWYER (CONT’D)
In here. Right over here.
EDUARDO walks across the bullpen, where no one makes eye
contact, and into--
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS
EDUARDO (V.O.)
At first I thought he was joking, giving
me more contracts to sign. But then I
started reading.
As EDUARDO reads, we rack focus to MARK, who’s sitting at a
computer with his back to EDUARDO, focused on his work.
And then we see SEAN step into the frame and lean against a
desk a few yards away.
And then back to EDUARDO, who’s almost shaking...
EDUARDO
Wait, what is this?
LAWYER
Well, as you know we had some new
investors--
EDUARDO
What is this?
LAWYER
If you’ll let me--
EDUARDO goes back out into--
INT. BULLPEN - CONTINUOUS
EDUARDO
Mark?
MARK doesn’t look up from his computer--

EDUARDO (CONT’D)
Mark.
MARK still doesn’t look up--
SEAN
He’s wired in.
EDUARDO
(pause)
I’m sorry?
SEAN
He’s wired in.
EDUARDO
Is he?
SEAN
Yes.
EDUARDO picks up MARK’s laptop over his head and smashes it
down on the desk, breaking it into pieces.
EDUARDO
How ‘bout now, are you still wired in?
SEAN
(to the girl at the desk he’s
leaning against)
Call security.
Everyone in the office is frozen, silent and watching.
EDUARDO
You issued over 24-million new shares of
stock.
MARK
You were told that if new investors came
along--
EDUARDO
How much were your shares diluted? How
much were his?!
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - EVENING
GRETCHEN
What was Mr. Zuckerberg’s ownership share
diluted down to?
EDUARDO
It wasn’t.

GRETCHEN
What was Mr. Moskovitz’s ownership share
diluted down to?
EDUARDO
It wasn’t.
GRETCHEN
What was Sean Parker’s ownership share
diluted down to?
EDUARDO
It wasn’t.
GRETCHEN
What was Peter Thiel’s ownership share
diluted down to?
EDUARDO
It wasn’t.
GRETCHEN
What was your ownership share diluted
down to?
EDUARDO
(pause)
Point-zero-three percent.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In scene 55, Eduardo confronts a lawyer at the New Facebook offices about contracts that dilute his ownership by 24 million shares, leading to a heated argument with Mark Zuckerberg, who dismisses his concerns. In a fit of rage, Eduardo smashes Mark's laptop to demand attention. The scene intercuts to a deposition where Eduardo reveals that his shares have been reduced to a mere 0.03 percent, highlighting the betrayal and inequality he faces compared to others like Mark and Sean Parker.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Powerful character dynamics
  • Revealing crucial information
  • Building tension effectively
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of subtlety in the confrontation
  • Limited exploration of secondary characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, filled with intense emotions, crucial revelations, and significant character dynamics, making it a standout moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on the confrontation and betrayal, is executed with precision, delivering a powerful narrative moment.

Plot: 9.2

The plot is significantly advanced through the confrontation, revealing key information, deepening character relationships, and setting up future conflicts.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to depicting power struggles and betrayal in a tech setting. The authenticity of characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the conflict.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Eduardo and Mark are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their conflicting motivations, emotions, and the evolution of their relationship.

Character Changes: 9

Both Eduardo and Mark undergo significant changes in their relationship and dynamics during this scene, leading to a shift in their motivations and actions.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to confront Mark about the dilution of his ownership share in the company. This reflects Eduardo's need for fairness, recognition, and a sense of betrayal.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to address the issue of diluted ownership shares and seek answers from Mark. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of confronting a powerful figure and seeking justice.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The conflict in the scene is intense, multi-layered, and pivotal to the character dynamics and plot progression.

Opposition: 8

The opposition is strong, with Eduardo facing significant challenges in confronting Mark and seeking answers. The audience is unsure of the outcome, adding to the scene's intensity.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as the confrontation and betrayal have significant consequences for the characters' relationships, the company, and the overall story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by revealing crucial information, deepening conflicts, and setting up future developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in its escalation of tension and the unexpected physical confrontation between characters. The audience is kept on edge about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around trust, loyalty, and the ethics of business dealings. Eduardo's belief in fairness clashes with Mark's decisions driven by growth and expansion.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.3

The scene delivers a high emotional impact through the raw emotions, betrayal, and confrontation between the characters, resonating with the audience.

Dialogue: 8.8

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and drives the conflict forward, effectively conveying the characters' emotions and intentions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its high emotional stakes, intense confrontation, and the audience's investment in the outcome of the conflict.

Pacing: 9

The pacing effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic confrontation. The rhythm of the scene enhances its emotional impact and narrative progression.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting aligns with the genre's standards, effectively conveying character actions and dialogue. It enhances the scene's intensity and emotional impact.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a well-structured format, effectively building tension and progressing the narrative. It adheres to the expected format for a dramatic confrontation scene.


Critique
  • This scene is a pivotal moment in the screenplay, effectively capturing the emotional climax of Eduardo and Mark's deteriorating relationship, highlighting themes of betrayal and ambition. The intercutting between the confrontation in the Facebook offices and the deposition room adds depth by contrasting the raw intensity of the past event with the reflective, legal repercussions in the present, which helps the audience understand the long-term consequences of the characters' actions. However, the dialogue in the office confrontation can feel somewhat expository, with lines like 'You issued over 24-million new shares of stock' serving more to inform the audience than to naturally advance the conflict, which might reduce the scene's authenticity and make it feel staged rather than organic.
  • The visual elements, such as Eduardo smashing Mark's laptop, are dramatically effective in conveying his rage and frustration, creating a memorable and visceral moment that underscores the personal cost of their business disputes. This action symbolizes the destruction of their friendship and adds a layer of physicality to the emotional turmoil. That said, this gesture might come across as overly theatrical or clichéd in a modern context, potentially alienating viewers who expect more subtle expressions of anger in character-driven dramas; it could benefit from additional buildup to make the outburst feel more earned and less abrupt.
  • Character development is strong here, particularly for Eduardo, whose arc from loyal friend to betrayed partner is crystallized in this scene. His increasing agitation and the way he demands attention from Mark highlight his sense of injustice, making him sympathetic. Conversely, Mark's detachment—shown through his refusal to engage until forced—reinforces his portrayal as a socially awkward genius prioritizing the company over personal relationships, but this could be explored more deeply to avoid making him seem one-dimensional or coldly unsympathetic. Sean's dismissive line, 'He’s wired in,' adds to his antagonistic role, but it might reinforce stereotypes of the opportunistic disruptor without providing enough nuance to his character.
  • The pacing builds tension well, escalating from Eduardo's confusion to explosive anger, which fits its position as scene 55 in a 60-scene script, driving towards the climax. However, the intercut to the deposition room disrupts the momentum slightly, as it shifts focus from the high-stakes confrontation to a more procedural recounting, which could dilute the emotional intensity if the transition isn't seamless. This technique is useful for thematic reinforcement, but it risks feeling repetitive if similar intercuts have been overused in prior scenes.
  • Overall, the scene successfully conveys the human cost of technological success, aligning with the screenplay's central themes. The setting in the bustling startup office contrasts with the sterile deposition room, visually emphasizing the shift from innovation to litigation. A potential weakness is the lack of resolution or aftermath in the office scene; while the deposition provides closure through testimony, the immediate confrontation ends abruptly, leaving some emotional beats unexplored, such as Mark's internal reaction or the reactions of bystanders, which could make the scene feel incomplete.
  • In terms of dialogue and performance cues, the scene relies heavily on Eduardo's voice-over and the deposition exchanges to clarify events, which is efficient but might overburden the narrative with exposition. This could challenge actors in delivering nuanced performances, as the script sometimes tells rather than shows the characters' emotions, reducing opportunities for subtle acting choices.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to be more concise and natural; for example, instead of directly stating share numbers, use subtext or indirect references to make the confrontation feel more personal and less like a business lecture, enhancing emotional authenticity.
  • Build up to the laptop-smashing moment with more subtle indicators of Eduardo's growing frustration, such as fidgeting or hesitant questions, to make the action feel more organic and less melodramatic, ensuring it serves as a cathartic release rather than a shock tactic.
  • Add a brief reaction shot or line from Mark after the laptop is smashed to show his vulnerability or regret, providing a counterpoint to his detachment and adding layers to his character, which could make the scene more balanced and empathetic.
  • Smooth the intercuts between the office and deposition by using visual or auditory transitions that link the two timelines, such as echoing sounds or parallel compositions, to maintain narrative flow and prevent the audience from feeling disoriented.
  • Incorporate more environmental details in the office setting to heighten the chaos and stakes, like showing other employees' reactions or background noise, to immerse the viewer and emphasize the public nature of the betrayal, making the scene more dynamic.
  • Consider adding a small moment of foreshadowing or callback to earlier scenes, such as referencing the algorithm on the window from scene 5, to strengthen thematic continuity and remind the audience of the characters' shared history, deepening the emotional impact.



Scene 56 - Betrayal and Celebration
INT. NEW FACEBOOK OFFICES - NIGHT
MARK
You signed the papers.
EDUARDO
You set me up.
MARK
You’re gonna blame me because you were
the business head of the company and you
made a bad business deal with your own
company?!
EDUARDO
It’s gonna be like I’m not part of
Facebook.
SEAN
It’s won’t be like you’re not part of
Facebook, you’re not part of Facebook.
EDUARDO
My name’s on the masthead.

SEAN
You might wanna check again.
EDUARDO is momentarily frozen...
EDUARDO
This is because I froze the account?
SEAN
You think we were gonna let you parade
around in your ridiculous suits
pretending you were running this company?
EDUARDO
Sorry, my Prada’s at the cleaners along
with my hoodie and my fuck-you flip-flops
you pretentious douchebag.
SEAN
Security’s here. You’ll be leaving now.
Two SECURITY GUARDS have come in--
EDUARDO
I’m not signing those papers.
SEAN
We’ll get the signature.
EDUARDO
(turning to MARK)
Tell me this isn’t about me getting into
the Phoenix!
(pause)
EDUARDO (CONT’D)
You did it. I always knew you did it. You
planted the story about the chicken.
SEAN
(pause)
What is he talking about?
EDUARDO
You had me accused--
SEAN
Seriously, what the hell’s the chicken?
EDUARDO
And I’ll bet what you hated the most is
that they identified me as a co-founder of
Facebook--which I am! You better lawyer-
up, asshole, ‘cause I’m not comin’ back
for my 30 percent, I’m comin’ back for
everything!

SEAN
(to SECURITY)
Get him outa here.
EDUARDO
I’m going.
SEAN
Hang on.
SEAN hands EDUARDO a folded check.
SEAN (CONT’D)
I almost forgot, there’s your $19,000. I
wouldn’t cash it, though, I drew it on
the account you froze.
EDUARDO looks at SEAN...then suddenly and quickly cocks his
fist back to punch him in the face. SEAN flinches as EDUARDO
holds his punch and lets out a small laugh.
EDUARDO
I like standing next to you, Sean. It
makes me look so tough.
EDUARDO exits with the security escort.
There’s a long silence in the room...
SEAN
That’s it, that’s our show for tonight,
people. So I want to see everybody here
geared up for a party. We’re gonna walk
down to the club like it’s the Macy’s
Parade. Mackey, put it up on the big
screen, we’ve gotta be almost there.
A young employee hits a remote and a few keys on his computer
and a huge flat-screen displays a Facebook page with a read-
out of the number of members.
999,942
There’s scattered applause and excitement as everyone watches.
SEAN takes MARK aside.
SEAN (CONT’D)
You alright?
MARK
Yeah.
(beat)
You were kinda rough on him.
SEAN
That’s life in the NFL.

MARK
You know you didn’t have to be that rough
on him.
SEAN
Listen, I’m putting together a party--
MARK
Sean? You didn’t have to be that rough on
him.
SEAN
He almost killed it. I’ll send flowers.
Speaking of flowers, I’m putting together
a party after the party at Kappa Eta
Sigma. Ashleigh’s a sister.
MARK
Uh...Ashleigh?
SEAN
The intern.
MARK
No, yeah, I know who she is. Are you guys--
SEAN
Ashleigh? Me? No. A little bit. Oh no, do
you like her? Dude--
MARK
No. No. I was just, no.
An intern, ASHLEIGH, comes along with a small package--
ASHLEIGH
Excuse me, Mark?
SEAN
We were just talkin’ about you.
MARK
Just that you’re doing a really good job.
ASHLEIGH
Thanks, I appreciate that.
(to MARK)
These came in for you.
MARK
Put them on my desk.
ASHLEIGH puts the small package on Mark’s desk.
SEAN
What’s the package?

MARK
Nothing.
SEAN
(calling out)
Mackey!
MACKEY
(calling back)
Yes sir!
SEAN
Refresh!
MACKEY hits the “refresh” key and the big screen shows--
1,000,046
CHEERS erupts throughout the place. SEAN grabs MARK and hugs
him but MARK doesn’t quite hug back...
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary In the new Facebook offices at night, Mark confronts Eduardo about signing papers that remove him from the company. Eduardo accuses Mark of betrayal and poor decisions, while Sean mocks him and confirms his ousting, calling security when Eduardo threatens legal action. After a heated exchange, Eduardo is escorted out, vowing to fight for his rights. The scene shifts to a celebratory atmosphere as Sean announces Facebook's milestone of one million users, leading to cheers and a party, despite Mark's discomfort with how Eduardo was treated.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
  • Revealing betrayal
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of subtlety in some confrontational moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful with intense dialogue, emotional depth, and significant character revelations. It effectively showcases the power struggle and betrayal between characters, keeping the audience engaged and emotionally invested.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of betrayal, power dynamics, and confrontation is effectively portrayed, adding depth to the characters and advancing the plot significantly.

Plot: 9

The plot is driven forward by the intense conflict and revelations in the scene. It marks a crucial turning point in the story, setting up future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on corporate drama, blending personal vendettas with professional power struggles. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters are well-developed, with their motivations, conflicts, and relationships coming to the forefront. The scene showcases their complexities and adds layers to their personalities.

Character Changes: 9

Significant character changes are evident, especially in Eduardo's realization of betrayal and his decision to take a stand against it.

Internal Goal: 8

Eduardo's internal goal is to assert his identity and worth within the company despite feeling betrayed and marginalized. His outburst and refusal to sign the papers reflect his need for recognition and justice.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to resist being pushed out of the company and to fight for what he believes is rightfully his. This goal is driven by the immediate threat to his position and ownership.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, driving the emotional stakes and character dynamics to a boiling point.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and power struggles creating uncertainty and tension. The audience is left unsure of the outcome, adding to the scene's intensity.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with relationships, power dynamics, and the future of the company hanging in the balance.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by revealing crucial information, escalating the conflict, and setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics, unexpected revelations, and the characters' volatile reactions, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around power, loyalty, and integrity. Eduardo's belief in fairness and loyalty clashes with the ruthless ambition and manipulation displayed by Mark and Sean.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.3

The scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, ranging from anger to betrayal to defiance, creating a powerful and memorable experience.

Dialogue: 9.3

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the characters' emotions, motivations, and conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense dialogue, power dynamics, and the unfolding drama that keeps the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment that resonates with the audience. The rhythm enhances the emotional impact of the dialogue.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, making it easy to follow and visualize the unfolding events.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and conflict, leading to a climactic confrontation. The pacing and rhythm enhance the scene's impact.


Critique
  • The scene effectively heightens the emotional stakes of the betrayal subplot, with sharp dialogue that captures the raw tension between Eduardo, Mark, and Sean. It serves as a pivotal moment in the narrative, solidifying Eduardo's exclusion from Facebook and foreshadowing the legal battles, which aligns well with the overall script's themes of ambition, friendship, and betrayal. However, the rapid-fire dialogue and quick escalation might feel overwhelming, potentially alienating viewers who aren't fully immersed in the characters' histories, such as the reference to the chicken incident, which could confuse audiences if not clearly contextualized from prior scenes.
  • Character development is strong in portraying Eduardo's vulnerability and rage, making his outburst believable and cathartic. Mark's subdued response adds depth, hinting at his internal conflict and moral ambiguity, which is crucial for his arc. Sean's antagonistic role is entertaining and fits his established persona as a disruptive force, but it risks making him appear cartoonishly villainous without subtler shades, reducing the complexity of his motivations. The visual elements, like the office setting and the contrast between the argument and the subsequent celebration, effectively underscore the cold, impersonal nature of the tech world, but the abrupt shift from confrontation to jubilation feels disjointed, undermining the emotional weight of Eduardo's exit.
  • Pacing is generally tight, with the argument building to a climactic moment when Eduardo restrains his punch, creating a powerful beat of tension and restraint. This moment humanizes Eduardo and adds a layer of realism, but the scene could benefit from more varied shot compositions to emphasize key reactions, such as close-ups on faces during accusatory lines, to better convey the psychological intensity. Additionally, the theme of social exclusion is mirrored in Eduardo's removal from the company, paralleling earlier motifs like the final clubs, but this connection isn't explicitly drawn, which might make the scene feel somewhat isolated from the broader narrative.
  • The dialogue is witty and quotable, with lines like 'I like standing next to you, Sean. It makes me look so tough' providing a memorable punchline that diffuses tension while underscoring Eduardo's defiance. However, some exchanges, such as the reference to the Phoenix club and the chicken story, rely heavily on prior context, which could alienate viewers or make the scene feel cluttered if not balanced with clearer exposition. Overall, the scene succeeds in advancing the plot and character relationships but could refine its focus to avoid overloading with subplots in a single sequence.
  • Technically, the scene's structure with intercuts to the deposition in later scenes (as per the script summary) helps reinforce the legal ramifications, but within this isolated scene, the celebration of hitting a million users feels tacked on, serving more as a setup for future events than a natural conclusion. This could dilute the immediate impact of the confrontation, making the ending feel rushed and less satisfying emotionally. As a teaching point, this scene illustrates the importance of balancing conflict resolution with thematic reinforcement, but it might benefit from a stronger visual or auditory motif to tie the argument's fallout to the company's success.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate subtle reminders or visual cues for background elements like the chicken incident to ensure accessibility for all viewers, such as a quick flashback insert or a line of dialogue that briefly recaps it without halting the flow.
  • Add more reaction shots and pauses in the dialogue to allow the audience to process the emotional beats, enhancing realism and giving actors room to convey subtext, which could make the confrontation more nuanced and engaging.
  • Develop Sean's character by including a brief moment of vulnerability or justification for his behavior, such as a quick aside to Mark explaining his ruthlessness as necessary for business survival, to add depth and prevent him from seeming one-dimensional.
  • Smooth the transition from the argument to the celebration by having a character, like Mark, show a moment of reflection or hesitation during the cheers, linking the human cost of success to the milestone and maintaining emotional continuity.
  • Expand Mark's dialogue or actions when he comments on Sean's roughness to reveal more internal conflict, perhaps through a facial expression or a line that hints at his regret, strengthening his character arc and making the scene more balanced.



Scene 57 - Party Interrupted
EXT. SORORITY HOUSE - NIGHT
We can hear the thumping music coming from the party inside
and college kids have spilled out onto the front lawn of this
pristine, four-columned house.
INT. SORORITY HOUSE - NIGHT
It’s dark but we can make out people dancing. The place is
packed.
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
We hear the thumping music from the party. SEAN’s in there
with a couple of guys, ASHLEIGH and two other girls. SEAN’s
got his cell phone out and will snap a picture every once in a
while.
FRATERNITY GUY
Do it on anything. You can use a CD.
SORORITY GIRL #2
You can do it off me.
The girl’s sat on the bed and unbuttoned her top. Her shirt’s
unbuttoned all the way but we can’t really see anything--just
the part of her chest that’s being used as a surface off of
which to snort coke.
SORORITY GIRL
Alright!

The GIRL taps out some coke from a vial onto the other girl’s
chest and starts passing around a rolled up 20-dollar bill for
everyone to have a turn and she herself will unbutton her
shirt too for the same purpose. All this while SEAN is
talking.
SEAN
The next transformative development? A
picture sharing application. A place
where you view pictures that coincide
with your social life. It is...the true
digitalization of real life. You don’t
just go to a party anymore, you go to a
party with your digital camera and your
friends relive the party on Facebook. And
tagging. The idea--
SORORITY GIRL #2
Would this be easier without the bra?
FRATERNITY GUY
It’s worth finding out.
The girls start happily slipping off their bras--
SEAN
I’ve spent hours watching what people do
when they log on.
ASHLEIGH
Wait, that’s weird. Why did the music
stop?
ASHLEIGH has a point. The music stopped in the middle of
SEAN’s speech and the sound outside from the party just
doesn’t sound like a party anymore.
SEAN
How they check their friends’ status
updates, checked to see which of their
friends had changed their profiles,
changed their photos and mostly...
ASHLEIGH
Seriously, what happened to the music?
SEAN
We lived on farms and then we lived in
cities and now we’re gonna live on the
internet.
ASHLEIGH
Sean. Stop. I think something’s going on
downstairs.
SEAN stops talking...he senses it too now.
SEAN walks out of the room to the--

INT. STAIRCASE LANDING - CONTINUOUS
And out the window he sees a fleet of police cars with their
lights flashing parked in front of the house. Then before he
can react, the front door flies open--
POLICE with flashlights walk in--the beams of light streaking
across the darkened party floor and the faces.
We HEAR muffled murmurs from the cops of “party’s over” and
“step to the side” and “nobody’s leaving just yet”, etc.
SEAN bolts back into--
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In Scene 57, a lively college party at a sorority house takes a dark turn when Sean, a young entrepreneur, engages in drug use while pitching his app idea to a group of partygoers. The atmosphere shifts from hedonistic fun to tension as Ashleigh notices the music has stopped, prompting Sean to investigate. He discovers police cars outside and officers raiding the party, leading him to rush back to the bedroom as chaos ensues.
Strengths
  • Effective tension-building
  • Unexpected plot twist
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Potentially controversial content
  • Lack of resolution in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and intrigue through its contrasting elements and unexpected turn of events. It keeps the audience engaged and sets the stage for further developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the characters' hedonistic behavior and the consequences they face adds depth to the narrative. It introduces a layer of complexity to the characters and their motivations.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progression in this scene is significant as it introduces a new conflict and raises the stakes for the characters. It propels the story forward and sets the stage for further developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the impact of technology on social interactions within a college party setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's authenticity.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' actions and reactions in this scene reveal more about their personalities and motivations. The dynamics between the characters add tension and intrigue to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

The scene prompts a shift in the characters' perspectives and actions, particularly as they face unexpected consequences. It sets the stage for potential character growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

Sean's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the social dynamics of the party and maintain his cool demeanor while observing the events around him. This reflects his desire to fit in, be perceived as knowledgeable, and potentially gain social status.

External Goal: 7

Sean's external goal is to enjoy the party and potentially network or gather material for his picture-sharing application idea. The immediate challenge he faces is the sudden disruption of the party by the police.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in this scene is palpable, with the sudden intrusion of the police creating a sense of urgency and danger. The characters' internal conflicts also come to the forefront, adding depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the sudden police raid presents a significant obstacle that challenges Sean's goals and forces him to react quickly to the unfolding events.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with the characters facing potential legal consequences and personal revelations. The outcome of the events could have a significant impact on their lives.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict and raising the stakes for the characters. It sets the stage for further plot developments and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 9

The scene is unpredictable due to the sudden shift from a typical party setting to a police raid, adding tension and uncertainty to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the juxtaposition of real-life experiences and their digital representation. Sean's focus on creating a digital platform for social interactions clashes with the abrupt intrusion of real-world consequences, represented by the police raid.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from shock to suspense, keeping the audience emotionally engaged. The characters' vulnerabilities and the high stakes contribute to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and the escalating tension in the scene. It adds depth to the interactions and enhances the overall atmosphere.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of suspense, social dynamics, and unexpected developments like the police raid, keeping the audience intrigued and invested in Sean's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing effectively builds tension and suspense, especially during the reveal of the police presence, creating a sense of urgency and escalating the stakes for the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue cues that enhance readability and visualization.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure, transitioning smoothly between different locations within the sorority house and maintaining a clear focus on Sean's experiences and observations.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Sean Parker's charismatic yet reckless personality, using the juxtaposition of his innovative pitch for a picture-sharing app with the hedonistic drug use to highlight his flaws and the consequences of his lifestyle. This contrast serves the overall narrative by underscoring the theme of digital innovation clashing with real-world recklessness, which is consistent with the script's exploration of the human cost behind technological success. However, the depiction of cocaine use might come across as gratuitous or sensationalized, potentially alienating audiences or critics who are sensitive to portrayals of drug culture, especially in a film that could be seen as glorifying the excesses of tech entrepreneurs. Balancing this with more critical undertones could strengthen the scene's message.
  • Pacing in the scene is abrupt, with the shift from a lively party atmosphere to the sudden police raid feeling rushed and lacking buildup. While the interruption creates immediate tension, it misses an opportunity to heighten suspense through subtle foreshadowing, such as increasing external noises or characters sensing something amiss earlier. This could make the transition more organic and emotionally impactful, drawing the audience deeper into the moment rather than relying on shock value. In the context of the screenplay's intercut structure between depositions and flashbacks, this scene's pacing should align more smoothly with the building climax, ensuring it doesn't feel disconnected from the legal and personal conflicts dominating the latter acts.
  • Dialogue is a strong element, with Sean's monologue about digitalization providing insight into his visionary mindset, but it borders on expository and could be more integrated into the interactions. For instance, the other characters' responses are minimal, making the scene feel like a one-man show despite the group setting. This reduces the dynamism and realism, as real conversations often involve interruptions or challenges that could reveal more about the group dynamics or Sean's influence. Additionally, the humor and casual tone during the drug use might undermine the seriousness of the consequences, diluting the scene's potential to critique Sean's behavior and its role in his eventual downfall.
  • Visually, the scene is vivid and cinematic, with effective use of sound (thumping music stopping) and lighting (flashlight beams from police) to create a sense of chaos and disruption. However, the descriptions of the sorority girls undressing and using their bodies for drug consumption might be seen as objectifying or exploitative, which could detract from the thematic depth and make the scene feel more like a trope than a meaningful character moment. Refining these visuals to focus more on emotional and thematic elements rather than sensationalism would better serve the story's exploration of power, ambition, and moral ambiguity.
  • In terms of character development, this scene advances Sean's arc by showing the beginning of his downfall, which is crucial given his role as a catalyst in the story. Yet, the supporting characters (Ashleigh, the fraternity guy, and sorority girls) are underdeveloped and function primarily as background elements, missing a chance to add layers to the scene. For example, Ashleigh's line about the music stopping could be expanded to show her growing discomfort or awareness, making her more than just a prop and allowing for a richer ensemble feel. This would also tie into the broader narrative of how Sean's actions affect those around him, paralleling the betrayals seen in other relationships like Mark and Eduardo's.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the script's central conflict between digital aspirations and real-world repercussions, but it could be more tightly connected to the ongoing legal depositions. For instance, linking Sean's pitch more explicitly to the app's role in Facebook's evolution (as seen in later developments) or foreshadowing the public fallout that could impact the lawsuits might make it feel more integral. Overall, while the scene is engaging and fits the fast-paced style of the screenplay, it risks feeling like a standalone set piece without stronger narrative threads weaving it into the climax, potentially weakening the emotional payoff in the final scenes.
Suggestions
  • Refine the depiction of drug use to be less explicit and more focused on consequences, perhaps by using subtler visuals or emphasizing Sean's internal conflict to avoid glorification and add depth to his character arc.
  • Build tension leading up to the police raid by adding foreshadowing elements, such as distant sirens or characters exchanging uneasy glances, to create a smoother transition and increase dramatic impact.
  • Make Sean's dialogue more interactive by having other characters interrupt or respond with questions, turning his monologue into a conversation that reveals more about group dynamics and makes the scene feel more natural and engaging.
  • Develop supporting characters slightly more by giving them brief, meaningful reactions or lines that tie into the theme, such as Ashleigh questioning Sean's ideas to highlight the contrast between his vision and reality.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by incorporating subtle references to the ongoing lawsuits or Eduardo's ousting, perhaps through Sean's thoughts or a visual cue, to better connect this scene to the larger narrative and emphasize the personal costs of ambition.
  • Consider adjusting the tone for sensitivity by framing the party scene with a more critical lens, such as showing the emptiness behind the hedonism, to align with the script's overall message about the darker side of success and innovation.



Scene 58 - Caught in the Act
INT. BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
--leaving the door open.
SEAN
It’s the cops.
And they all spring into action. The girls are putting their
bras back on, SEAN is wiping down a night table with the palm
of his hand to get the coke dust off.
SORORITY GIRL
Shit.
FRATERNITY GUY
Be cool.
They turn to see TWO POLICEMEN standing in the doorway, their
flashlights scanning the room and hitting SEAN’s eyes.
SEAN
Good to see you officer. What can I do
for you?
POLICEMAN
What’s goin’ on?
SEAN
(beat)
Was the music too loud? We have a
celebration going.
POLICEMAN
Miss, I need you to button your blouse.
SEAN
I can have them turn the music down.
One of the policemen casually takes SEAN’s hand and sees that
his palm looks like he just used it to erase a blackboard.
SEAN (CONT’D)
That’s not mine.

POLICEMAN
Okay, we’re gonna need identification.
Keep your hands where we can see them.
And the handcuffs start to come out and we’ve got a room of
terrified children.
SORORITY GIRL
Oh my God.
We start to move in on SEAN...
POLICEMAN
(to SEAN)
You got anything in your pockets I should
know about?
SEAN
No sir, no.
POLICEMAN
Don’t be stupid now.
SEAN
I don’t.
POLICEMAN
(out of SEAN’s shirt pocket)
What’s this?
SEAN
It’s an Epipen.
POLICEMAN
And this?
SEAN
That’s my inhaler.
POLICEMAN #2
(to the GIRLS)
How old are you?
SORORITY GIRL
I’m 21.
ASHLEIGH
I’m 21.
POLICEMAN
Lying only makes it worse.
ASHLEIGH
I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lied.

SEAN closes his eyes at hearing this news as we HEAR the sound
of the cuffs lock around his wrists and we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Thriller"]

Summary In scene 58, the atmosphere shifts dramatically as police enter a party, prompting Sean and the group to scramble to hide their illegal activities. Tension escalates as the officers begin to interrogate the partygoers, leading to the discovery of drug residue on Sean's hand. Despite his attempts to remain calm and deflect suspicion, the situation deteriorates, culminating in Sean's arrest as he resigns to the inevitable fate of being handcuffed.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Effective tension-building
  • Realistic character reactions
Weaknesses
  • Potential for stereotypical portrayal of police raid scenario

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and suspense through the interaction with the police, showcasing the characters' reactions and setting up a dramatic conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a police raid disrupting a party adds a layer of suspense and danger to the scene, driving the plot forward and increasing the stakes for the characters.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as the police raid introduces a new obstacle for the characters, leading to potential consequences and further developments in the story.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a familiar scenario of a party being interrupted by the police but adds originality through the witty dialogue and unexpected character reactions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions to the police raid reveal their personalities and motivations, adding depth to their interactions and setting up future conflicts.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo a shift in their emotions and priorities due to the police raid, leading to potential changes in their relationships and actions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain composure and protect his friends from the consequences of the party. This reflects his desire to be seen as responsible and in control, despite the chaotic situation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to avoid getting arrested or incriminated for the drugs found in the room. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with law enforcement and potential legal repercussions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and palpable, as the characters are confronted by the police and forced to deal with the consequences of their behavior.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the police officers presenting a formidable obstacle to the protagonist's goals. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes in the scene are evident as the characters face the threat of legal consequences and potential fallout from the police raid, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a new obstacle and raising the stakes for the characters, setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected character reactions, shifting power dynamics, and the uncertain outcome of the police intervention. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between the carefree, rebellious nature of the partygoers and the strict, authoritative stance of the police officers. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about freedom and responsibility.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions from the characters and the audience, creating a sense of urgency and tension that drives the narrative forward.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and urgency of the situation, enhancing the atmosphere of the scene and highlighting the characters' emotions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, escalating tension, and the high stakes faced by the characters. The audience is drawn into the conflict and invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments and character interactions that maintain the audience's interest and drive the narrative forward effectively.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character cues, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and visual clarity.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict through the interaction between characters and the unfolding events.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and tense atmosphere of a police raid, building on the momentum from the previous scene to heighten drama and showcase the consequences of Sean's reckless behavior. This aligns well with the overall script's theme of the personal and legal fallout from ambition and excess, making Sean's arrest a pivotal moment that underscores his vulnerability despite his charisma. However, the rapid escalation from warning to arrest might feel somewhat abrupt, potentially lacking a beat to build suspense or allow the audience to fully absorb the characters' panic, which could make the sequence more emotionally resonant and less like a quick cutaway.
  • Sean's dialogue, while naturalistic and revealing of his attempt to maintain control (e.g., 'Good to see you officer. What can I do for you?'), could benefit from more depth to reflect his established personality as a smooth-talking entrepreneur. In this moment, his responses come across as generic deflections, missing an opportunity to show his wit or desperation in a way that ties back to his earlier scenes, such as his pitch in scene 57. This would strengthen character consistency and make the scene more engaging for the audience, helping them understand Sean's arc as he faces the repercussions of his actions.
  • Visually, the use of flashlight beams and the confined bedroom setting creates a strong sense of claustrophobia and urgency, which is a strength in conveying the disarray and fear. However, the scene relies heavily on action without much exploration of the other characters' reactions beyond brief exclamations (e.g., 'Shit' or 'Be cool'), which might underutilize the ensemble to add layers of emotion or conflict. For instance, Ashleigh's admission of lying about her age could be expanded to show her fear or regret, reinforcing the theme of innocence lost in the digital age, but as it stands, it feels somewhat superficial and disconnected from the broader narrative.
  • Thematically, this scene contrasts Sean's hedonistic lifestyle with the disciplined, business-focused world of Mark and Eduardo, which is consistent with the script's exploration of betrayal and success. Yet, it might not fully capitalize on this by missing a subtle nod to the ongoing legal depositions (e.g., a quick cut or voice-over reference), which could heighten the irony and interconnectivity of the story. Additionally, the realism of the police procedure—such as the immediate handcuffing based on residue on Sean's hand—could be questioned, as it might come across as overly dramatized without sufficient buildup, potentially alienating viewers familiar with legal processes.
  • Overall, the scene's brevity (estimated at around 45 seconds based on dialogue and action) serves its purpose as a high-tension interlude, but it risks feeling like a plot device rather than a fully realized moment. It effectively advances Sean's downfall but could delve deeper into the emotional stakes, such as his internal conflict or the group's dynamics, to make it more memorable and integral to the character's journey, ultimately aiding the reader in understanding how this event foreshadows the legal and personal costs depicted in the depositions.
Suggestions
  • Extend the scene slightly by adding a few beats of suspense before the police enter, such as Sean glancing out the door or the group exchanging panicked whispers, to build tension and make the raid feel more inevitable and impactful.
  • Refine Sean's dialogue to include a signature quip or reference to his past (e.g., alluding to Napster troubles) to maintain his charismatic persona even under pressure, making his character more consistent and engaging while reinforcing the theme of his hubris.
  • Incorporate more varied reactions from the supporting characters, like Ashleigh showing visible fear or the fraternity guy attempting to hide evidence, to add emotional depth and highlight the broader consequences of Sean's actions on those around him, strengthening the ensemble dynamic.
  • Add a subtle thematic link, such as a quick cut to a deposition room or a voice-over from a later scene, to connect this moment to the ongoing legal narrative, emphasizing the cycle of recklessness and accountability without disrupting the flow.
  • Consider consulting real-world accounts of similar arrests for accuracy in police procedure, or justify any dramatization through character perspective, to enhance realism and prevent the scene from feeling contrived, thereby increasing its credibility and emotional weight.



Scene 59 - Late Night Calls
INT. NEW FACEBOOK OFFICES - NIGHT
A digital LED clock on the wall tells us it’s 4:40AM.
MARK is sitting at his computer alone. No one else is in the
office. The San Francisco skyline is beautiful outside the
floor-to-ceiling glass.
His cell phone RINGS and he answers.
MARK
(into phone)
Hello?
INTERCUT WITH:
EXT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT
SEAN, freezing with no coat on, is sitting on the bottom of
the steps to the police station.
SEAN
(into phone)
Listen, something’s happened.
We see MARK listening on his end but can’t hear SEAN’s end of
the conversation.
MARK
(pause)
Shit.
SEAN
It’s alright, it’s gonna be alright. I’ve
posted bond and I wasn’t doing anything.
I mean, I’ve got allergies so I can’t--
We’re back on MARK’s side. He listens...listens...
MARK
Interns?
Back on SEAN’s side--
SEAN
It was just a party.
MARK
(evenly)
This is gonna be news, Sean, it’s gonna
be online any second.

SEAN
(beat)
I know.
MARK
(blank)
You know with an intern and--
SEAN
It’s cool, I’ve got it under control.
MARK
(no panic)
I’ll get it under control. I’ll call
someone and see what the next move is.
But this is gonna be news now.
SEAN
(beat)
You don’t think Eduardo was involved do
you? Do you think--
MARK
No.
SEAN
Or Manningham. One of them. Somebody.
Somebody sent that coke in their ‘cause
it got in there. You believe me. This is
gonna be fine, right?
MARK
(cool as ice)
Go home, Sean.
MARK clicks the phone shut. He sits there a moment.
He looks at the small package that Ashleigh dropped on his
desk earlier. He opens up the brown paper wrapping and there’s
a box.
He opens the box--a thousand brand new business cards. He
takes one of the business cards out and looks at it.
I’m CEO...Bitch
And over this we HEAR a woman’s voice...
MARYLIN (V.O.)
Mark?
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In the early hours at the new Facebook offices, Mark receives a distressing call from Sean, who is outside a police station after being arrested. Sean, anxious and defensive, claims innocence regarding the incident involving drugs and interns, while Mark remains calm and composed, assuring him he will manage the situation. As Sean expresses paranoia about being set up, Mark dismisses his concerns and instructs him to go home. After the call, Mark opens a package revealing provocative business cards, just as a woman's voice calls his name, leading to a cut.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Character dynamics
  • Plot advancement
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual descriptions
  • Lack of physical actions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys tension, urgency, and character dynamics, setting up a pivotal moment in the story. The dialogue and actions drive the narrative forward and create a sense of anticipation for the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of dealing with unexpected consequences and making crucial decisions under pressure is effectively portrayed in the scene. It highlights the characters' vulnerabilities and strengths in a moment of crisis.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, introducing a new conflict and raising the stakes for the characters. It sets the stage for further developments and adds depth to the narrative.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on crisis management in the tech industry, blending personal relationships with professional responsibilities. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the unfolding drama.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' reactions and interactions are central to the scene, showcasing their individual traits and motivations. The dialogue and actions reveal layers of complexity and drive the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 8

The scene marks a significant moment of change for the characters, especially in their relationships and decisions. It sets the stage for character development and evolution in the story.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to maintain control and composure in a crisis situation. This reflects his need for power and authority, as well as his fear of losing his reputation or facing public scrutiny.

External Goal: 7.5

Mark's external goal is to handle a potentially damaging situation involving Sean and the police, ensuring it doesn't escalate and damage his company's image. It reflects the immediate challenge of managing a crisis.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict is high in the scene, with characters facing personal and external challenges that test their relationships and decisions. The tension and stakes are palpable, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to challenge the protagonist's control and decision-making, creating uncertainty and raising the stakes. The audience is left wondering about the outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with characters facing critical decisions and potential repercussions. The outcome of their choices could have significant impacts on their relationships and the story's direction.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new conflicts, decisions, and consequences. It sets up future events and developments, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable as the characters' motivations and the outcome of the crisis remain uncertain. The shifting dynamics and revelations keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around loyalty, trust, and responsibility. Sean's actions challenge Mark's beliefs about loyalty and trust in his friends, forcing him to make tough decisions that may conflict with his values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, concern, and determination. The characters' struggles and decisions resonate with the audience, creating an emotional connection.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, intentions, and conflicts. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the audience's understanding of the characters' dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced dialogue, escalating conflict, and the high-stakes nature of the characters' predicament. The audience is drawn into the unfolding crisis and Mark's calculated responses.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing effectively builds tension and suspense, using quick exchanges and pauses to control the rhythm of the scene. It maintains a sense of urgency while allowing for character introspection.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting aligns with industry standards, using clear scene headings and intercutting to enhance the pacing and suspense. It effectively guides the reader through the unfolding events.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and reveals information in a controlled manner. It adheres to genre expectations while adding a layer of complexity to the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively maintains the high-stakes tension from the previous scene's arrest, using the intercut phone conversation to convey urgency and isolation, which aligns with Mark's character as a detached, pragmatic founder. However, the dialogue feels somewhat expository and on-the-nose, with Sean's denial about the drugs and Mark's calm responses serving more as plot advancement than character revelation, potentially missing an opportunity to deepen emotional layers or show subtext that reflects the broader themes of betrayal and ambition in the script.
  • Visually, the setting in the empty office at 4:40 AM with the San Francisco skyline is striking and reinforces Mark's loneliness and the weight of his responsibilities, which is a strong choice for visual storytelling. That said, the scene could benefit from more dynamic camera work or subtle actions to heighten the drama— for instance, closer shots on Mark's face during the call could reveal micro-expressions of concern or guilt, making his composure more nuanced and less robotic, thus engaging the audience more deeply in his internal conflict.
  • The transition to the business cards reveal is a nice touch for character insight, symbolizing Mark's bravado and defensiveness, but it feels somewhat abrupt and underdeveloped. It doesn't fully capitalize on the moment to tie into the overarching narrative of Mark's social isolation or his need for validation, which could make the scene more thematically resonant. Additionally, the voice-over at the end signaling a cut to the next scene is functional but abrupt, potentially disrupting the flow and missing a chance to build suspense toward the finale.
  • In terms of pacing, the scene moves quickly, which suits its role as a penultimate moment, but it risks feeling rushed given the emotional weight of Sean's arrest and its implications for Facebook. The lack of reaction shots or pauses in the conversation might make Sean's paranoia and Mark's handling of the crisis less impactful, as it doesn't allow enough space for the audience to process the consequences, such as how this event could affect the company's reputation or Mark's relationships.
  • Overall, while the scene successfully conveys the chaos of startup life and Mark's cool demeanor under pressure, it could explore more conflict or stakes. For example, Sean's accusation about potential sabotage (e.g., by Eduardo or others) hints at paranoia but isn't fully explored, which might leave viewers wanting more connection to the script's central themes of trust and betrayal. This scene is crucial for showing Mark's growth or stagnation, but it leans heavily on telling rather than showing, which could be refined to make it more cinematic and emotionally engaging.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the dialogue with more subtext and subverted expectations; for instance, have Mark's responses include subtle hints of vulnerability or sarcasm to reveal his inner turmoil, making the conversation less straightforward and more layered.
  • Incorporate additional visual elements to amplify tension, such as quick cuts between Mark in the office and implied flashbacks of Sean's arrest or earlier conflicts, or use sound design (e.g., the hum of the city or distant sirens) to heighten the sense of isolation and urgency without overloading the scene.
  • Extend the business cards moment to add symbolic depth; for example, have Mark stare at the card longer, reflecting on how his bravado contrasts with his current loneliness, or tie it to a brief internal monologue or a cutaway to a photo on his desk, reinforcing his character arc.
  • Adjust pacing by adding beats of silence or reaction shots during the phone call to allow emotional weight to build, ensuring the scene doesn't rush through key revelations like Sean's arrest details, which could make the audience feel the gravity more acutely.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by subtly referencing earlier events, such as Eduardo's betrayal or the Winklevoss lawsuit, through Mark's thoughts or actions during the call, to better connect this scene to the script's larger narrative and emphasize the human cost of ambition.



Scene 60 - Isolation in the Spotlight
INT. FIRST DEPOSITION ROOM - NIGHT
MARK is sitting alone in the conference room. The only one
left is MARYLIN, whose voice we just heard. The lights of the
San Francisco skyline fill the huge picture windows.
MARYLIN
Mark?
MARK looks up at her...
MARYLIN (CONT’D)
We’re done for the day.
MARK
(pause)
Yeah. Yeah. I was just sitting here.
MARYLIN
What happened to Sean?
MARK
He still owns 7% of the company. All you
had all day was that salad. You want to
get something to eat?
MARYLIN
I can’t.
MARK
I’m not a bad guy.
MARYLIN
I know that. When’s there’s emotional
testimony I assume 85% of it is
exaggeration.
MARK
And the other 15%?
MARYLIN
Perjury. Creation myths need a devil.
MARK
What happens now?
MARYLIN
Sy and the others are having a steak on
University Ave. Then they’ll come back up
to the office and start working on a
settlement agreement to present to you.
MARK
They’re gonna settle?

MARYLIN
Oh yeah. And you’re gonna have to pay a
little extra.
MARK
Why?
MARYLIN
So that these guys sign a non-disclosure
agreement. They say one unflattering word
about you in public and you own their
wife and kids.
MARK
I invented Facebook.
MARYLIN
I’m talking about a jury. I specialize
in voir dire--jury selection. And what
the jury sees when they look at the
defendant. Clothes, hair, speaking style,
likability--
MARK
Likability?
MARYLIN
I’ve been licensed to practice law for
all of 20 months and I could get a jury
to believe you planted the story about
Eduardo and the chicken. Watch what else.
Why weren’t you at Sean’s sorority party
that night?
MARK
You think I’m the one who called the
police?
MARYLIN
Doesn’t matter. I asked the question and
now everybody’s thinking about it. You’ve
lost your jury in the first 10 minutes.
MARK
(pause)
Farm animals?
MARYLIN
Yeah.
MARK
I was drunk and angry and stupid.
MARYLIN
And blogging.
MARK
And blogging.

MARYLIN
(pause)
Pay them. In the scheme of things it’s a
speeding ticket. That’s what Sy will tell
you tomorrow.
MARK
Do you think anybody would mind if I
stayed and used the computer for a
minute?
MARYLIN
I can’t imagine it would be a problem.
MARK
Thanks. I appreciate your help today.
MARYLIN
You’re not an asshole, Mark. You’re just
trying so hard to be.
MARYLIN, who’s been putting on her coat, takes her briefcase
and exits.
MARK sits down at the computer. He logs on to Facebook.
He types a name in the search box: “Erica Albright”.
Erica’s name and picture come up, along with Boston
University, ‘07. Mark smiles. She’s on Facebook.
He moves the mouse back and forth between two boxes: “Send a
Message” and “Add as a Friend”.
He clicks on “Add as a Friend”.
A box comes up that reads: “Your request to add Erica Albright
as a friend has been sent.”
Then MARK clicks to his homepage and waits for the response.
And waits...then hits “Refresh”.
TITLE:
Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss received a settlement of 65
million dollars and signed a non-disclosure agreement.
They rowed for the U.S. Olympic Team in Beijing and placed
sixth.
MARK is still waiting...then hits “Refresh”.
Eduardo Saverin received an unknown settlement. His name has
been restored to the Facebook masthead as a Co-founder.

MARK is settling into his chair. He’ll wait all night if he
has to.
Facebook has 500 million members in 207 countries. It's
currently valued at 25 billion dollars.
Mark Zuckerberg is the youngest billionaire in the world.
MARK waits...
And waits...
And we
SNAP TO BLACK
ROLL MAIN TITLE
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In the final scene, Mark Zuckerberg sits alone in a deposition room at night, reflecting on his past as lawyer Marylin discusses the settlement process and the importance of protecting his reputation. As they talk, Mark admits to his mistakes and contemplates the emotional toll of his ambition. After Marylin leaves, he logs into Facebook, searching for Erica Albright and anxiously awaiting her response, highlighting his loneliness amidst his success. The scene concludes with text overlays revealing real-world outcomes related to Facebook, emphasizing the human cost of Mark's achievements.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Pacing could be slightly improved

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene effectively captures the emotional turmoil and pivotal decisions of the characters, providing depth and setting the stage for resolution.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of legal negotiations intertwined with personal revelations adds layers to the narrative, creating a compelling storyline.

Plot: 8.7

The plot advances through emotional revelations and confrontations, driving the characters towards pivotal choices and resolutions.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh approach to legal drama, nuanced character interactions, and exploration of ethical dilemmas. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.9

The characters display depth and growth, facing internal conflicts and external pressures that shape their decisions and relationships.

Character Changes: 9

Significant character growth and revelations occur, particularly in terms of personal accountability, trust, and resilience.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert his innocence and maintain control over his public image. This reflects his need for validation, fear of being misunderstood, and desire to protect his reputation.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the legal proceedings and reach a settlement while preserving his ownership and reputation. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of facing legal consequences and public scrutiny.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.8

The conflict is palpable, stemming from personal betrayals, legal battles, and emotional confrontations, driving the narrative tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, power struggles, and moral dilemmas creating obstacles for the protagonist. The audience is kept guessing about the outcome of the legal proceedings and the protagonist's true intentions.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, involving legal settlements, personal relationships, and the future of the characters, adding urgency and impact to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by resolving key conflicts, setting the stage for new developments and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations, moral ambiguity, and shifting alliances between characters. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of the protagonist's true intentions and the outcome of the legal proceedings.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the perception of truth, manipulation of narratives, and the impact of public opinion on personal integrity. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about trust, authenticity, and the power of storytelling in shaping reality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and resignation to hope and reflection, engaging the audience on a visceral level.

Dialogue: 8.4

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and conflicts, enhancing the intensity of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic dialogue, shifting power dynamics, and moral dilemmas that keep the audience invested in the characters' fates. The scene's tension and emotional depth captivate viewers.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense through strategic pauses, character interactions, and narrative revelations. The rhythm of dialogue and actions enhances the scene's emotional impact and thematic resonance.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to industry standards for screenplay writing, with clear scene descriptions, character cues, and dialogue formatting. It enhances readability and visual clarity for potential production.

Structure: 8.5

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and reveals character motivations through dialogue and actions. It follows the expected format for a legal drama genre, maintaining a coherent and engaging narrative flow.


Critique
  • This final scene effectively serves as a poignant bookend to the screenplay, mirroring the opening with Mark's isolation and social awkwardness, which reinforces the theme of loneliness amidst success. The dialogue between Mark and Marylin is sharp and revealing, humanizing Mark by showing his vulnerability and regret, making the audience empathize with him despite his flaws. However, the scene risks feeling overly expository in parts, such as when Marylin explains jury selection and likability, which could come across as didactic rather than organic, potentially distancing viewers who prefer subtlety in character interactions.
  • The use of text overlays at the end to provide real-world context is a clever narrative device that grounds the story in reality and adds a layer of irony, contrasting Mark's personal isolation with his monumental achievements. This technique helps tie up loose ends and delivers a satisfying informational punch, but it might overshadow the emotional core of the scene, making the ending feel more like a newsreel than a deeply personal resolution. As the climax of the film, it successfully evokes a sense of melancholy and reflection, but the abrupt shift from dialogue to Mark waiting for Erica's response could benefit from more buildup to heighten emotional stakes.
  • Character development is strong here, with Mark's actions—logging into Facebook and adding Erica—symbolizing his unresolved past and the irony of his creation, which was born from a breakup. This moment underscores the theme that technology can't fix personal relationships, a key motif throughout the script. However, Marylin's role as a quasi-therapist figure feels somewhat contrived; her lines about Mark being 'not an asshole' but 'trying so hard to be' are insightful but might lack depth, as they rely on her being an outsider who quickly understands Mark's psyche, which could seem unearned without more buildup in earlier scenes.
  • Pacing in this scene is generally well-handled, building to a quiet, introspective close that contrasts with the high-energy confrontations earlier in the film. The repetition of Mark refreshing the page adds tension and visual rhythm, emphasizing his anxiety, but it might drag slightly for some audiences, potentially diluting the impact if not edited tightly. Visually, the San Francisco skyline and the empty deposition room effectively convey isolation, but the scene could use more dynamic cinematography to avoid static shots, making Mark's emotional state more vivid through camera work, such as close-ups on his face or the computer screen.
  • Thematically, the scene encapsulates the film's exploration of ambition, betrayal, and the human cost of innovation, with Mark's wait for Erica's response serving as a metaphor for his eternal outsider status. This is powerful, but the dialogue occasionally veers into telling rather than showing, such as when Mark admits to being 'drunk and angry and stupid,' which could be more impactful if demonstrated through action or subtext. Overall, as a conclusion, it leaves a lasting impression, but it might not fully resolve all emotional arcs, particularly with the lawsuits, leaving some viewers wanting more closure on the conflicts with Eduardo and the Winklevoss twins beyond the text overlays.
Suggestions
  • Enhance visual storytelling by incorporating more subtle cues of Mark's isolation, such as adding reflections in the window or using sound design (e.g., the hum of the computer or distant city noises) to amplify the loneliness, making the scene more immersive and less reliant on dialogue.
  • Refine the dialogue to be more concise and layered, perhaps by having Marylin's advice on jury perception integrated through questions or indirect comments, allowing the audience to infer insights rather than being told explicitly, which would increase engagement and reduce exposition.
  • Build emotional intensity in the waiting sequence by adding micro-actions or internal monologue (via voice-over or facial expressions) to show Mark's thoughts, ensuring the repetition of refreshing the page doesn't feel redundant and heightens the stakes of his unresolved regret.
  • Consider adding a brief flashback or visual callback to the opening scene with Erica to strengthen the bookend structure, reinforcing themes without over-explaining, and providing a more visceral emotional connection for the audience.
  • To avoid an abrupt end, extend the final moments with a fade-out or symbolic image (e.g., the Facebook logo reflecting on the screen) that ties back to the film's core, ensuring the scene feels complete and leaves a resonant aftertaste.



Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:

mark zuckerberg

Mark Zuckerberg is portrayed as an intelligent yet socially awkward individual, characterized by a sweet appearance that belies underlying anger and insecurity. He exhibits a tendency towards arrogance, defensiveness, and impulsivity, often masking his vulnerabilities with sharp intellect and analytical dialogue. His speaking style is direct, confrontational, and at times condescending, reflecting his ambition and obsession with success. As he navigates social norms, he becomes increasingly detached and reckless, pushing boundaries in pursuit of his goals. Throughout the screenplay, Mark's dialogue remains focused and precise, revealing his strategic mindset and reluctance to engage emotionally. His complex personality is highlighted during legal interrogations, where he displays sarcasm and evasiveness, showcasing his inner conflicts and motivations.



mark

Mark is a complex character defined by his ambition, intelligence, and social awkwardness. He is portrayed as bitter and calculating, driven by a deep desire for recognition and status. His speaking style is sharp, direct, and often laced with sarcasm, reflecting his confrontational nature and intellectual prowess. Throughout the screenplay, Mark exhibits a relentless drive for success, often manipulating situations to his advantage while remaining somewhat detached from social cues and emotional interactions. He is innovative and focused, showcasing his brilliance in technology and coding, yet he struggles with internal conflicts and vulnerabilities that are masked by his defensive demeanor. As he navigates the challenges of building TheFacebook, his character oscillates between confidence and uncertainty, revealing layers of complexity as he grapples with the consequences of his ambition and the relationships he jeopardizes along the way.



eduardo

Eduardo Saverin is portrayed as a complex character who embodies a blend of sweetness, loyalty, and ethical concern. He is supportive and caring, often acting as a counterbalance to Mark Zuckerberg's intensity with his calm and rational demeanor. Eduardo's speaking style is articulate, measured, and thoughtful, reflecting his deep concern for the well-being of their partnership and the ethical implications of their business decisions. He is detail-oriented and pragmatic, emphasizing the importance of financial stability and integrity in their ventures. Throughout the screenplay, Eduardo exhibits a range of emotions, from enthusiasm and humor to frustration and defensiveness, particularly during moments of conflict with Mark and the pressures of their business. His character evolves from a supportive partner to one who feels betrayed and confrontational, showcasing his inner turmoil and the complexities of loyalty and ambition in the face of ethical dilemmas.



eduardo saverin

Eduardo Saverin is portrayed as a deeply loyal and concerned friend to Mark, embodying a moral compass amidst the chaos of their entrepreneurial journey. He is characterized by his thoughtful and measured speaking style, which reflects his rational approach to the ethical dilemmas they face. Eduardo's loyalty is evident as he consistently prioritizes Mark's well-being, even as he grapples with the legal and ethical implications of their decisions. His dialogue is sincere and often questioning, revealing his internal struggles as he navigates the tension between friendship and the pressures of the business world. As the dynamics of their company shift, Eduardo's frustration and resignation become apparent, showcasing his analytical mindset and financial acumen. He is a character who embodies caution and support, contrasting sharply with Mark's more reckless and confrontational demeanor.



divya

Divya is a multifaceted character who embodies intelligence, observance, and diplomacy. He is portrayed as someone who appreciates talent and recognizes potential collaborations, particularly in his interactions with Mark. His speaking style is measured and respectful, focusing on project details, which reflects his rational approach. However, Divya also has a passionate side; he reacts intensely to unexpected revelations, revealing underlying complexities and potential conflicts within him. As the narrative progresses, he becomes increasingly assertive and confrontational, particularly when he perceives injustices. His direct and passionate speaking style emphasizes facts and evidence, showcasing his determination to uncover the truth and seek justice. Divya's character serves as a supportive presence, offering perspective and a calming influence amidst tension, particularly in contrast to the more emotional reactions of the Winklevoss twins. This balance adds depth to his character, making him a pivotal figure in the unfolding drama.



dustin

Dustin is a supportive and collaborative team member who embodies a strong technical expertise and enthusiasm for coding. He is observant and focused on practical matters, often providing updates on user numbers and programming needs, which highlights his commitment to the company's growth. His speaking style is a blend of straightforward factuality and enthusiastic tech-oriented dialogue, reflecting both his passion for the project and his ability to contribute positively to the team's dynamics. Dustin's interactions with Mark and other characters reveal his excitement for the challenges they face, as well as his ability to maintain a light-hearted atmosphere, especially in the presence of influential figures like Sean Parker.



cameron

Cameron Winklevoss is a complex character who embodies a blend of competitive spirit, rational thinking, and principled determination. He is portrayed as a strategic thinker who values careful consideration and logical assessment in conflicts, often maintaining a level-headed demeanor. However, as the narrative progresses, his intensity and passion become more pronounced, revealing a character who reacts strongly to challenges, particularly when it comes to defending his integrity and the reputation of Harvard. Cameron's speaking style evolves from measured and logical to direct and passionate, often infused with sarcasm and frustration as he confronts obstacles in his pursuit of justice for the alleged theft of his website idea. He is deeply concerned about public perception and strives to uphold gentlemanly standards, seeking a balanced approach to the legal challenges he faces while remaining assertive and focused on presenting logical arguments.



tyler

Tyler Winklevoss is a bold and assertive character, known for his emotional reactions and strong sense of justice. He is direct and expressive in his speaking style, often reflecting his passionate nature. Throughout the screenplay, Tyler demonstrates a determined and strategic approach to protecting their website idea, showcasing his pragmatic side. However, he also exhibits frustration and skepticism, particularly when questioning authority and seeking practical solutions to conflicts. As the narrative progresses, Tyler becomes more diplomatic and composed, striving to maintain a level-headed demeanor in challenging circumstances. His character evolves from impulsive and emotional to a more strategic thinker, balancing his assertiveness with a newfound sense of diplomacy.



sean

Sean Parker is a charismatic and enigmatic entrepreneur whose confidence and charm captivate those around him. He possesses a strategic mind and a flair for storytelling, often using personal anecdotes and business insights to motivate and influence others. His speaking style is fast-paced and assertive, filled with humor and wit, allowing him to navigate tense situations with ease. Despite his charm, Sean exhibits a hint of paranoia and defiance, pushing boundaries and challenging the status quo with bold ideas. He is portrayed as both reckless and resourceful, able to adapt quickly to changing circumstances. However, beneath his confident exterior lies a sense of vulnerability, particularly when confronted with high-stakes situations, revealing a more anxious and defensive side as he tries to reassure those around him.



christy

Christy is a dynamic and multifaceted character who embodies a blend of supportiveness, playfulness, and assertiveness. Initially, she engages with her friends, Mark and Sean, in a friendly and light-hearted manner, contributing to a positive atmosphere. Her speaking style is characterized by a friendly, easy-going tone, with a playful and flirtatious edge that helps to lighten the mood. As the story progresses, Christy takes on a more assertive role, particularly in her interactions with Eduardo. She becomes a mediator between Mark and Eduardo, balancing their differing viewpoints while also confronting Eduardo about his actions and expectations. This shift reveals her strong-willed and passionate personality, as she expresses her frustrations and desires for honesty. Her confrontational yet emotionally charged speaking style reflects her growth and willingness to challenge those around her, culminating in moments where she takes decisive actions, such as starting a fire to symbolize her breaking point.



CharacterArcCritiqueSuggestions
mark zuckerberg Mark's character arc follows his journey from a socially awkward and ambitious college student to a powerful yet isolated tech entrepreneur. Initially driven by a desire for acceptance and recognition, he becomes increasingly consumed by his project and the pursuit of success. As he faces legal challenges and personal conflicts, Mark's defensiveness and confrontational nature are tested, leading to moments of introspection. Ultimately, he must confront the consequences of his actions and the impact of his ambition on his relationships, culminating in a realization of the importance of connection and empathy in both his personal and professional life. While Mark's character arc effectively captures his ambition and the complexities of his personality, it risks portraying him as one-dimensional in his social detachment and arrogance. The screenplay could benefit from deeper exploration of his vulnerabilities and the emotional toll of his journey. Additionally, the arc may feel repetitive in its focus on confrontation without sufficient moments of growth or change, which could lead to a lack of emotional resonance with the audience. To improve Mark's character arc, consider incorporating more moments of vulnerability that allow the audience to empathize with his struggles. Introduce relationships that challenge his worldview and force him to confront his emotional shortcomings. Additionally, provide opportunities for growth through mentorship or friendship that highlight the importance of connection. This could culminate in a more profound transformation where Mark learns to balance ambition with empathy, ultimately leading to a more nuanced and relatable character.
mark Mark's character arc begins with him as a socially awkward and ambitious young man, driven by a desire for recognition and success. As he develops TheFacebook, he becomes increasingly manipulative and confrontational, alienating those around him, including his close friend Eduardo. Throughout the screenplay, Mark faces various challenges, including legal battles and personal conflicts, which force him to confront the consequences of his actions. By the end of the feature, Mark experiences a moment of introspection, realizing the cost of his ambition and the importance of genuine connections. This realization leads to a subtle transformation, where he begins to acknowledge his vulnerabilities and the need for collaboration, setting the stage for potential growth beyond the film's conclusion. While Mark's character arc is compelling, it could benefit from deeper exploration of his emotional vulnerabilities and the impact of his relationships on his development. The screenplay presents him as a complex figure, but at times, his motivations can feel one-dimensional, primarily focused on ambition and success. Additionally, the resolution of his arc may come across as abrupt, lacking a gradual buildup to his moment of introspection. This could leave audiences wanting a more nuanced understanding of his internal struggles and the factors that lead to his eventual realization. To improve Mark's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that delve into his personal relationships and the emotional toll of his ambition. Showcasing moments of vulnerability, such as interactions with Eduardo or reflections on his past, could add depth to his character. Additionally, a gradual buildup to his moment of introspection would enhance the emotional impact of his transformation. This could involve foreshadowing his internal conflict through subtle cues in earlier scenes, allowing the audience to witness his struggle and growth more organically. Finally, exploring the consequences of his actions on others could provide a richer context for his eventual realization, making his character arc more relatable and impactful.
eduardo Eduardo's character arc begins with him as a loyal and supportive friend to Mark, embodying a sense of optimism and enthusiasm for their venture, TheFacebook. As the story progresses, Eduardo's ethical concerns and skepticism about Mark's decisions grow, leading to tension in their relationship. He becomes increasingly defensive and frustrated, particularly during legal depositions and confrontations with Mark and Sean Parker. This culminates in a significant emotional confrontation where Eduardo expresses his feelings of betrayal and disillusionment. By the end of the screenplay, Eduardo emerges as a more assertive and self-aware individual, having confronted the complexities of friendship, loyalty, and business ethics, ultimately standing up for himself and his principles. While Eduardo's character arc is compelling, it could benefit from deeper exploration of his internal conflicts and motivations. The screenplay presents him as a supportive figure who gradually becomes disillusioned, but it may lack sufficient backstory or moments that illustrate his emotional journey. Additionally, his transformation from a loyal partner to a confrontational figure could be more gradual, allowing the audience to witness the nuances of his struggle and the moments that lead to his emotional volatility. This would create a more relatable and layered character. To improve Eduardo's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or dialogue that reveal his past experiences and values, which could provide context for his ethical concerns and loyalty. Additionally, include more scenes that showcase his internal struggles and the moments that lead to his feelings of betrayal, allowing the audience to empathize with his journey. Gradually build the tension in his relationship with Mark, highlighting key moments that contribute to his emotional volatility. Finally, ensure that his resolution at the end of the screenplay reflects a clear transformation, emphasizing his growth and newfound assertiveness while maintaining the complexity of his character.
eduardo saverin Eduardo's character arc begins with him as a supportive and loyal friend, who is initially excited about the potential of their venture. As the story progresses, he becomes increasingly conflicted as he witnesses Mark's ethical lapses and the growing tensions within their partnership. Eduardo's loyalty is tested as he faces legal pressures and the realization that their friendship may not withstand the strain of ambition and betrayal. Ultimately, he reaches a point of self-assertion, where he must choose between his loyalty to Mark and his own moral integrity, leading to a decisive break that allows him to reclaim his identity and values. By the end of the feature, Eduardo emerges as a more self-aware individual, having learned the importance of standing up for his beliefs, even at the cost of his friendship. Eduardo's character arc is compelling as it highlights the struggle between friendship and ethical integrity. However, it could benefit from deeper exploration of his internal conflicts and motivations. While his loyalty is clear, the screenplay could delve more into his personal aspirations and how they are affected by his relationship with Mark. Additionally, the transition from a supportive friend to a more assertive individual could be more gradual, allowing for a richer emotional journey. To improve Eduardo's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or moments that reveal his background and aspirations, providing context for his loyalty and ethical stance. This could help the audience understand his motivations more deeply. Additionally, include more scenes that showcase his internal struggles, perhaps through conversations with other characters or moments of solitude where he reflects on his choices. Gradually build up the tension in his relationship with Mark, allowing for a more nuanced and emotionally resonant climax where he asserts his independence. Finally, consider giving Eduardo a moment of triumph or success that reinforces his growth and the importance of his values.
divya Divya's character arc begins with him as an observant and diplomatic figure, focused on collaboration and project details. As the story progresses, he encounters unexpected revelations that challenge his initial perceptions, leading to a more intense and confrontational stance. His journey reflects a transformation from a supportive collaborator to a passionate advocate for justice, culminating in his aggressive push for legal action against Mark. By the end of the feature, Divya emerges as a determined individual who has not only confronted external injustices but has also grappled with his own values and beliefs, ultimately finding a balance between his rationality and his emotional drive for justice. While Divya's character arc is compelling, it may benefit from deeper exploration of his internal conflicts and motivations. The transition from a diplomatic figure to an assertive advocate for justice could be more gradual, allowing the audience to witness the evolution of his beliefs and the impact of the events on his character. Additionally, his supportive role could be further developed to highlight how his relationships with other characters, particularly the Winklevoss twins, influence his journey. This would create a richer narrative and provide more emotional stakes for his character. To improve Divya's character arc, consider incorporating scenes that delve into his backstory, revealing what drives his passion for justice and integrity. This could include flashbacks or conversations that highlight past experiences that shaped his values. Additionally, allow for moments of vulnerability where Divya questions his approach or feels the weight of the conflict, making his eventual assertiveness more impactful. Finally, enhance his interactions with the Winklevoss twins to showcase how their dynamics influence his transformation, creating a more interconnected narrative that emphasizes character development.
dustin Throughout the screenplay, Dustin begins as a supportive and enthusiastic team member, primarily serving to provide context and technical insights that help propel the narrative forward. As the story progresses, he faces challenges that test his commitment and technical skills, particularly when the project encounters setbacks. This leads to moments of self-doubt and reflection on his role within the team. Ultimately, Dustin evolves into a more confident and integral part of the team, taking on greater responsibilities and showcasing his leadership potential. By the end of the feature, he emerges not only as a tech-savvy collaborator but also as a key player in the company's success, having learned to balance his enthusiasm with strategic thinking. Dustin's character is well-defined as a supportive and enthusiastic team member, but his arc could benefit from deeper emotional stakes and personal growth. While he serves as a foil to Mark's tension, his own challenges and triumphs could be more pronounced to create a more compelling narrative. Currently, he feels somewhat one-dimensional, primarily existing to support others rather than having his own distinct journey. To improve Dustin's character arc, consider introducing a subplot that explores his personal aspirations and challenges outside of the project. This could involve a conflict where he must choose between his loyalty to the team and pursuing an opportunity that could advance his career. Additionally, incorporating moments where he faces setbacks or criticism could add depth to his character, allowing for a more nuanced transformation. By the end of the feature, he could emerge not only as a key contributor but also as someone who has learned to advocate for himself and his ideas, thus enriching his overall character development.
cameron Cameron's character arc begins with him as a cautious and rational thinker, primarily focused on strategy and reputation. As he faces the challenges of defending his idea and confronting perceived injustices, he becomes more assertive and principled, showcasing his determination to seek redress. Throughout the screenplay, Cameron's intensity grows, leading him to react more passionately to the obstacles in his path. By the end of the feature, he has transformed from a cautious strategist into a more emotionally driven individual who is willing to confront the complexities of his situation head-on, ultimately learning that integrity and justice may require a more nuanced approach than he initially believed. While Cameron's character arc demonstrates a clear progression from caution to intensity, it risks becoming somewhat one-dimensional if not balanced with moments of vulnerability or self-reflection. His assertiveness and passion are compelling, but they may overshadow the rational thinker he is at the beginning. Additionally, the transition from a measured approach to a more intense demeanor could benefit from clearer motivations or triggers that explain this shift, ensuring that the audience can empathize with his journey. To improve Cameron's character arc, consider incorporating moments of introspection where he grapples with the consequences of his actions and the impact on his relationships. This could involve scenes where he reflects on the balance between his competitive nature and the ethical implications of his pursuit. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a contrasting character who challenges his views could provide depth and facilitate growth. Finally, ensuring that his emotional reactions are rooted in relatable experiences will help the audience connect with his journey, making his transformation feel more authentic and earned.
tyler Tyler's character arc begins with him as a passionate and impulsive individual, driven by a strong sense of justice and a desire to protect his and his brother's interests. As the conflict escalates, he faces challenges that test his emotional responses and force him to confront authority. Throughout the screenplay, Tyler learns the importance of strategic thinking and diplomacy, ultimately transforming into a more composed and pragmatic leader. By the end, he has grown to balance his assertiveness with a strategic mindset, allowing him to navigate complex situations more effectively. While Tyler's character arc shows significant growth from impulsiveness to strategic thinking, it may benefit from deeper exploration of his internal conflicts. The transition from emotional reactions to a more diplomatic approach could be more gradual, allowing the audience to witness the struggles he faces in adapting his style. Additionally, the screenplay could delve into the motivations behind his strong sense of justice, providing more context for his actions and decisions. To improve Tyler's character arc, consider incorporating key moments that challenge his beliefs and force him to confront the consequences of his impulsive actions. This could include scenes where he faces setbacks that require him to reassess his approach. Additionally, adding interactions with other characters that highlight his internal struggles and growth would enhance the depth of his transformation. Finally, providing a clearer resolution that ties back to his initial motivations for justice could create a more satisfying conclusion to his arc.
sean Throughout the screenplay, Sean Parker's character arc evolves from a charismatic and reckless entrepreneur who thrives on pushing boundaries to a more complex individual who grapples with the consequences of his actions. Initially, he is portrayed as a confident disruptor, influencing Mark and others with his bold ideas and charm. As the story progresses, Sean faces increasing challenges that test his adaptability and resourcefulness. His initial bravado begins to crack under pressure, revealing moments of vulnerability and anxiety, particularly when confronted by law enforcement. By the end of the feature, Sean's character arc culminates in a realization of the impact of his choices, leading him to a more introspective and cautious approach to his entrepreneurial endeavors. While Sean Parker's character is compelling and multifaceted, the arc could benefit from a clearer progression that highlights the transformation from his initial reckless charm to a more grounded perspective. The shifts between confidence and vulnerability are present but could be more pronounced to create a stronger emotional impact. Additionally, the stakes of his decisions could be elevated to emphasize the consequences of his actions, making his eventual realization more poignant. To improve Sean's character arc, consider incorporating pivotal moments that force him to confront the repercussions of his reckless behavior earlier in the story. This could involve a significant failure or betrayal that challenges his worldview and prompts deeper self-reflection. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a contrasting character who embodies a more responsible approach to entrepreneurship could serve as a catalyst for Sean's growth. Finally, ensure that his moments of vulnerability are balanced with opportunities for redemption, allowing the audience to witness his evolution in a more impactful way.
christy Christy's character arc follows her journey from a supportive and playful friend to a strong, assertive individual who confronts difficult truths. At the beginning of the screenplay, she is primarily seen as a light-hearted mediator, helping to maintain harmony among her friends. As tensions rise, particularly between Mark and Eduardo, Christy evolves into a more assertive figure, willing to confront Eduardo about his behavior and expectations. This confrontation marks a turning point for her, as she embraces her own emotions and desires, ultimately leading to a moment of empowerment where she takes decisive action. By the end of the feature, Christy has transformed into a character who not only supports her friends but also stands up for herself and demands honesty and respect in her relationships. While Christy's character arc is compelling, it may benefit from deeper exploration of her motivations and internal conflicts. The transition from a light-hearted mediator to a confrontational figure could be more gradual, allowing the audience to witness her struggles and the buildup of her frustrations. Additionally, her assertiveness could be portrayed with more nuance, showcasing moments of vulnerability that highlight her emotional journey. This would create a more relatable and well-rounded character, as viewers would better understand the reasons behind her transformation. To improve Christy's character arc, consider incorporating scenes that delve into her backstory, revealing past experiences that shape her views on honesty and confrontation. This could include flashbacks or conversations with other characters that provide context for her assertiveness. Additionally, allow for moments of doubt or hesitation in her confrontations with Eduardo, showcasing her internal struggle and making her eventual empowerment more impactful. Finally, ensure that her relationships with other characters evolve alongside her growth, reflecting the changes in her personality and the dynamics of her friendships.
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Pattern Explanation
Confrontational Tones Boost Conflict and Emotional ImpactIn this script, scenes with confrontational tones (appearing in over 50% of scenes) consistently correlate with high conflict and emotional impact scores (averaging 9), indicating that interpersonal confrontations are a core strength, effectively driving emotional engagement and tension, which the author may rely on heavily for scene dynamics.
Sarcasm Enhances Dialogue EffectivenessSarcastic tones are prevalent in many scenes and show a strong positive correlation with high dialogue scores (frequently 9), suggesting that sarcasm adds wit and energy to conversations, making dialogue a standout element; however, this might sometimes overshadow deeper emotional exchanges, as sarcastic scenes occasionally have slightly lower character change scores (e.g., averaging 7.5).
Humorous Tones Weaken Story Progression and StakesScenes with humorous or light-hearted tones (e.g., scenes 24, 25, 44) exhibit lower scores in high stakes (as low as 3) and move story forward (as low as 4), revealing a pattern where humor reduces perceived urgency and narrative momentum; this could be an unconscious tendency in the author's writing, where lighter moments inadvertently slow the pace, suggesting opportunities to integrate humor with higher-stakes elements for better balance.
Emotional Tones Drive Character DevelopmentWhen emotional tones are combined with intense or confrontational elements (e.g., scenes 51, 55, 56), character change scores are notably higher (up to 9), indicating that emotional depth facilitates meaningful character arcs; conversely, in scenes lacking emotional tones, character changes score lower (often 7), highlighting a potential blind spot where the author might underemphasize emotion in non-confrontational scenes, limiting growth opportunities.
High Consistency in Grades with Underdeveloped Plot AdvancementAcross the script, categories like concept, plot, and characters maintain high scores (averaging 8-9), but move story forward and high stakes scores are more variable and often lower (averaging 7-8, with dips to 3-4 in humorous scenes), suggesting that while individual scenes are strong, the overall narrative progression might not always feel urgent; this could indicate an area for the author to focus on, ensuring that every scene contributes more directly to the plot to avoid pacing issues that aren't immediately obvious from high overall grades.


Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

The screenplay demonstrates a strong command of dialogue and character dynamics, effectively blending humor, tension, and thematic depth. The writer showcases an ability to create engaging narratives that explore complex interpersonal relationships and moral dilemmas. However, there are opportunities for improvement in areas such as pacing, character development, and the integration of subtext in dialogue.

Key Improvement Areas

Dialogue
While the dialogue is sharp and engaging, there are instances where it could benefit from deeper subtext and emotional resonance. Enhancing dialogue skills will allow for more nuanced character interactions.
Pacing
Some scenes could be tightened to maintain tension and engagement. Improving pacing will help in building suspense and ensuring that the narrative flows smoothly.
Character Development
Although characters are well-defined, further exploration of their motivations and conflicts can add depth. Focusing on character arcs will enhance the emotional impact of the story.

Suggestions

Type Suggestion Rationale
Book 'Save the Cat!' by Blake Snyder This book provides valuable insights into screenplay structure, character development, and crafting engaging narratives, which can enhance the writer's overall craft.
Screenplay 'The Social Network' screenplay by Aaron Sorkin Studying this screenplay will offer examples of effective dialogue, character dynamics, and pacing in a tech-driven narrative, aligning with the writer's themes.
Video Watch 'Screenwriting Tips: Writing Dialogue' on YouTube This video will provide practical advice on crafting engaging and impactful dialogue exchanges, which is crucial for enhancing character interactions.
Exercise Practice writing dialogue-driven scenes with conflicting motivations.Practice In SceneProv This exercise will help the writer develop skills in creating tension and emotional depth through dialogue, enriching character interactions.
Exercise Write scenes with escalating tension and power dynamics.Practice In SceneProv Focusing on escalating conflicts will enhance the writer's ability to maintain audience engagement and build suspense throughout the narrative.
Exercise Create character profiles that explore motivations, backstories, and arcs.Practice In SceneProv Developing detailed character profiles will deepen the writer's understanding of their characters, leading to more authentic and compelling interactions in the screenplay.
Stories Similar to this one

Story Explanation
The Social Network This film is a direct portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg's life and the creation of Facebook, mirroring the script's focus on his social awkwardness, ambition, and the conflicts arising from his relationships and business decisions.
Steve Jobs Similar to the script, this biopic explores the life of a tech visionary, highlighting personal relationships, ambition, and the sacrifices made for success, with a focus on character-driven storytelling and dialogue.
The Imitation Game This film follows Alan Turing, a socially awkward genius, as he navigates personal and professional challenges while working on a groundbreaking project, paralleling themes of isolation, genius, and the impact of technology on society.
Silicon Valley (TV Series) This comedy series satirizes the tech industry and startup culture, featuring socially awkward characters and the challenges of building a tech company, similar to the dynamics and conflicts presented in the script.
Moneyball This film tells the story of an unconventional approach to baseball management, focusing on the protagonist's struggle against traditional norms and personal relationships, akin to Mark's journey in the script.
The Founder This biopic about Ray Kroc and the creation of McDonald's explores themes of ambition, betrayal, and the moral complexities of business, resonating with the ethical dilemmas faced by Mark Zuckerberg in the script.
The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel explores themes of ambition, social status, and the American Dream, paralleling Mark's desire for acceptance and success amidst personal conflicts and societal expectations.
The Devil Wears Prada This film showcases the personal sacrifices made for career success and the complexities of relationships in a competitive environment, similar to the interpersonal dynamics and ambition depicted in the script.
A Beautiful Mind This biopic about John Nash explores the life of a brilliant but socially challenged mathematician, focusing on his struggles with personal relationships and mental health, echoing Mark's journey in the script.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope Trope Details Trope Explanation
The Social OutcastMark Zuckerberg is portrayed as socially awkward and isolated, struggling to connect with others, particularly during his date with Erica.This trope often depicts a character who is marginalized or struggles to fit in socially. An example is the character of Sam in 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower', who feels disconnected from his peers.
The BreakupErica breaks up with Mark after a heated argument, criticizing his personality and predicting future social issues.This trope involves a romantic relationship ending, often due to fundamental differences or conflicts. A classic example is the breakup scene in '500 Days of Summer'.
The Nerdy GeniusMark is depicted as a brilliant but socially inept programmer, obsessed with creating a successful social network.This trope features a character who is exceptionally intelligent but lacks social skills, often seen in films like 'The Imitation Game' with Alan Turing.
The RivalThe Winklevoss twins serve as rivals to Mark, feeling that he has stolen their idea for a social networking site.This trope involves characters competing against each other, often leading to conflict. A well-known example is the rivalry between Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy.
The Misunderstood AntiheroMark is portrayed as a complex character whose actions, while often selfish, stem from a desire for acceptance and recognition.This trope features a protagonist who engages in morally ambiguous actions but is ultimately relatable. An example is Walter White from 'Breaking Bad'.
The Tech WhizMark's exceptional programming skills are highlighted as he hacks into Harvard's network to create Facemash.This trope showcases a character with extraordinary technical abilities, often seen in films like 'The Social Network' and 'Hackers'.
The Party SceneSeveral scenes depict vibrant college parties, contrasting Mark's isolation with the social dynamics around him.This trope often serves to highlight social interactions and character relationships, as seen in films like 'Superbad'.
The BetrayalEduardo feels betrayed by Mark when he discovers the dilution of his shares and Mark's actions behind his back.This trope involves a character feeling let down by someone they trusted, often leading to conflict. An example is the betrayal between friends in 'The Godfather'.
The narrative frequently shifts to deposition scenes, highlighting the legal battles surrounding Facebook's creation.


Theme Theme Details Themee Explanation
Ambition and InnovationMark Zuckerberg's relentless drive to create a groundbreaking social networking platform, pushing boundaries and constantly seeking improvement and expansion, even at personal cost.The narrative consistently portrays Mark's insatiable ambition, from his initial desire to 'get in' to Harvard's exclusive clubs to his singular focus on building and expanding Facebook. His innovative spirit is evident in his technical skills, his adaptation of existing ideas, and his strategic thinking about user engagement and growth. This ambition is the primary engine of the story, driving all plot points.
Strengthening Ambition and Innovation:
Suggestion Type How to Strengthen the Theme
Action/Visual - Scene 2 When Mark is intensely focused on his laptop, instead of just typing, show subtle visual cues of his ambitious and innovative process. This could include rapid-fire scrolling through code, fleeting images of algorithms or databases on his screen, or even him sketching out complex network diagrams on a physical notepad (even if just for a moment). This visually reinforces his drive and the nascent stages of his innovation.
Dialogue - Scene 3 During Mark's voice-over about hacking into Harvard's system, intersperse his technical descriptions with brief, almost unconscious pronouncements of his ambition. For example, after mentioning downloading photos, have him say something like, 'They have all this data, and they don't even know what it's worth. We will.' This directly links his innovative actions to his underlying ambition.
Character Arc/Action - Scene 10 In the administrative hearing, when Mark boldly claims he deserves recognition for exposing flaws in the university's security system, have him make a specific, forward-looking statement about how this exposure will lead to a more secure and innovative future for online systems. This reframes his defiance as foresight and a drive for improvement, rather than just rebellion, thus fortifying the ambition theme.
Visual/Character Interaction - Scene 12 When the Winklevoss twins and Divya present HarvardConnection, instead of just having Mark eat the sandwich uncomfortably, have him subtly manipulate it or absentmindedly sketch on the napkin he uses, reflecting his mind already working on a superior or different concept. This visual cue shows his ambition is already seeking a grander innovation beyond their proposal, even while passively listening.
Dialogue/Action - Scene 20 When Mark has his epiphany about the 'Relationship Status' feature, have him not just abruptly leave the lab, but have his departure be driven by a visible surge of inspiration. As he runs, he could be muttering about the 'social fabric' or 'connecting people in a way they haven't imagined,' showcasing his innovative drive to build something new and impactful.
Betrayal and Legal ConflictsThe complex legal battles and strained relationships, particularly with Eduardo Saverin and the Winklevoss twins, stemming from accusations of idea theft, broken promises, and financial maneuvering.
Social Isolation and DisconnectMark Zuckerberg's persistent social awkwardness and isolation, contrasting with his ability to connect millions of people online, and his attempts (often failed) to mend personal relationships.Despite creating a platform for social connection, Mark himself often appears socially detached and isolated. His interactions, especially with Erica and Eduardo, reveal his difficulty in navigating personal relationships. His final action of adding Erica on Facebook and anxiously awaiting a response encapsulates this theme, showing his continued struggle for personal connection even amidst immense success.
The Nature of Genius and MoralityThe exploration of whether Mark's genius excuses or absolves his morally questionable actions, and the inherent tension between groundbreaking innovation and ethical responsibility.The script constantly questions the morality of Mark's actions. Is he a ruthless businessman, a misunderstood genius, or something in between? The narrative presents his actions in a morally ambiguous light, forcing the audience to grapple with whether his genius justifies his treatment of others. This is particularly evident in the legal proceedings and the framing of his character.
Exclusivity vs. InclusivityThe initial desire for exclusive social circles (Final Clubs, HarvardConnection) contrasting with the broad, inclusive nature of Facebook.The early stages of Mark's ambition are driven by a desire for exclusivity, seen in his fixation on Harvard's final clubs and the Winklevosses' HarvardConnection. However, Facebook, in its essence, is an inclusive platform. This theme explores the evolution of Mark's ambition from personal social climbing to creating a universally accessible network.
The Power of Information and Online PermanenceThe enduring nature of online content, the speed at which information spreads, and the consequences of public or semi-public digital footprints.The script highlights how digital information, once posted, can have lasting consequences. Mark's early blog posts about Erica, his hacking methods, and the rapid viral spread of Facemash all illustrate this. Erica's confrontation with Mark about his derogatory comments on TheFacebook directly addresses the permanence of online content.
The Nature of Friendship and LoyaltyThe strain on friendships, particularly between Mark and Eduardo, as business interests and personal ambitions diverge and lead to conflict and eventual rupture.The evolving dynamic between Mark and Eduardo is central to this theme. Initially partners and friends, their relationship deteriorates as their visions and priorities clash. Eduardo's feelings of betrayal and Mark's growing distance highlight the fragility of their friendship in the face of massive business success.



Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site Description
Studio Binder Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts
Voice Analysis
Summary: The writer's voice is characterized by sharp, witty, and often confrontational dialogue that consistently reveals underlying tensions, power dynamics, and complex character motivations. This is further enhanced by concise yet impactful narrative descriptions that set a brisk pace and precise scene direction that amplifies atmosphere and tension. There's a recurring exploration of themes like ambition, social dynamics, privilege, and the ethical ambiguities of innovation, often delivered with a blend of intellectualism and dark humor.
Voice Contribution The writer's voice injects the script with a potent blend of intellectualism, social commentary, and raw emotional intensity. The sharp dialogue creates immediate engagement and reveals character depth through subtext and rapid-fire exchanges. The narrative and direction work in tandem to build suspense, highlight thematic contrasts, and create a palpable mood, whether it be intrigue, unease, or the exhilarating rush of innovation. This distinct voice contributes significantly to the script's overall mood of driven ambition laced with moral complexity and a cynical, often humorous, observation of human nature.
Best Representation Scene 12 - The Pitch at the Porcellian Club
Best Scene Explanation Scene 12 is the best representation of the author's unique voice due to its masterful blend of sharp, character-revealing dialogue, vivid scene-setting that establishes social hierarchy and ambition, and precise direction that creates immediate tension. The dialogue between Mark, the Winklevoss twins, and Divya is laced with subtext, hinting at future conflicts and ethical compromises. The stark contrast between the opulent Porcellian Club and Mark's demeanor immediately establishes themes of social exclusion and ambition. The subsequent shift to a deposition scene, a recurring narrative device in this script, showcases the writer's skill in using legal confrontations to expose character flaws and past deceptions, all delivered with a signature blend of wit and underlying tension. This scene effectively encapsulates the writer's ability to build intrigue, explore complex character motivations, and maintain a compelling narrative pace through sharp exchanges and thematic depth.
Originality
  • Overall originality score: 8.5
  • Overall originality explanation: The script presents a highly original narrative that intertwines themes of ambition, technology, and personal relationships within the context of the rise of Facebook. The characters' interactions are authentic and layered, showcasing unique perspectives on social dynamics, ethical dilemmas, and the consequences of innovation. The incorporation of real-life events and the exploration of complex character motivations contribute to the script's originality, making it stand out in the genre of biographical drama.
  • Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the script are the portrayal of the hacking culture intertwined with social dynamics, the ethical dilemmas surrounding privacy invasion and objectification, and the innovative use of technology to explore personal relationships. Additionally, the depiction of the competitive atmosphere in both academic and social settings, such as the rowing race and the tech startup environment, adds depth and originality to the narrative.
  • Overall unpredictability score: 7
  • Overall unpredictability explanation: The script maintains a moderate level of unpredictability, as it follows the real-life events surrounding the creation of Facebook, which are known to some extent. However, the character dynamics, particularly the tensions between Mark, Eduardo, and Sean, as well as the unexpected consequences of their actions, create moments of surprise and tension. The script effectively balances known historical outcomes with character-driven conflicts that keep the audience engaged and guessing about the characters' decisions and their ramifications.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal GoalsThe protagonist's internal goals evolve from seeking social validation and recognition through exclusive clubs to grappling with feelings of betrayal, isolation, and the moral complexity of their actions in creating Facebook. As the narrative progresses, Mark's desire for control and superiority intertwines with his need for genuine connections, especially in light of his increasing ambition and the sacrifices that come with it.
External Goals Mark's external goals shift from initially establishing a social networking platform to expanding Facebook across universities while navigating legal challenges and internal conflicts with Eduardo regarding the direction of the company. The struggle to maintain control and profitability drives Mark's decisions in both professional and personal realms.
Philosophical Conflict The overarching philosophical conflict is centered around ambition versus ethics; Mark's relentless pursuit of success often comes at the expense of ethical considerations, particularly in his relationships and the company's operations, leading to ongoing tension between personal integrity and business ambition.


Character Development Contribution: The internal and external goals reflect Mark's transformation from a socially awkward individual seeking acceptance to a powerful figure whose ambition leads to the isolation of those close to him. As he compromises his relationships and morals for success, he becomes more reflective by the end, questioning his choices.

Narrative Structure Contribution: The evolution of goals drives the plot forward, creating tension and conflict that shapes the character dynamics and leads to critical turning points in Mark's relationships, especially with Eduardo and Erica, helping to build an engaging narrative arc.

Thematic Depth Contribution: The interplay between ambition and ethics enriches the themes of friendship, betrayal, and the costs of success, illustrating how personal connections can be sacrificed on the altar of ambition, ultimately leading to profound loneliness despite outward success.


Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site Description
Creative Screenwriting How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?
World Building
  • Physical environment: The world of the script is primarily set in the academic and urban environments of Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts, during the early 2000s, characterized by bustling squares, historic dorm rooms, exclusive clubs with thick wooden doors and velvet ropes, and serene locations like the Charles River for rowing. It extends to legal settings such as deposition rooms with glass walls overlooking Silicon Valley's tech landscapes, and modern tech hubs in Palo Alto and San Francisco, featuring cluttered startup houses with zip lines, computers, and chaotic party scenes. Other locations include nightclubs, restaurants, and college parties, creating a contrast between cold, snowy New England winters and the vibrant, sunny California tech scene, emphasizing a journey from intimate, insular academic spaces to expansive, high-stakes professional environments.
  • Culture: The culture depicted is rooted in elite college life at Harvard, blending intellectual rigor, social ambition, and exclusivity through traditions like final club initiations, rowing competitions, and a capella performances. It highlights a mix of academic pursuits, partying, and digital innovation, with elements of ambition, competition, and social status driving interactions. Themes of privilege, wealth, and the pursuit of recognition are evident, alongside emerging tech culture that values creativity and disruption, as seen in hacking contests and social media's rise, reflecting a society in transition from traditional elitism to the digital age.
  • Society: Society in the script is hierarchical and stratified, with structures defined by social clubs, university hierarchies, and the startup ecosystem. Harvard's final clubs and rowing crews represent exclusivity and inherited privilege, while the tech world introduces a meritocratic yet cutthroat environment of investors, entrepreneurs, and legal battles. Interpersonal dynamics are influenced by wealth, connections, and ambition, leading to conflicts over status, ownership, and betrayal, as characters navigate between academic elitism, corporate power plays, and the democratizing potential of social networks.
  • Technology: Technology is a central and evolving element, encompassing early 2000s innovations like hacking, blogging, and the development of social media platforms such as Facebook. Laptops, coding, and internet connectivity are pervasive, symbolizing rapid digital advancement and its role in personal and professional lives. The script portrays technology as a tool for connection and disruption, with elements like viral websites, email communications, and startup tools highlighting themes of innovation, privacy invasion, and the transformative impact of the digital revolution on society.
  • Characters influence: The physical environment, culture, society, and technology profoundly shape the characters' experiences and actions by creating a high-pressure backdrop that amplifies ambition and conflict. Mark Zuckerberg's isolation in dorm rooms and tech labs fuels his obsessive coding and social alienation, while the exclusive club culture drives his quest for status and innovation. Eduardo Saverin's social aspirations lead him to invest in and defend the project, but societal hierarchies and technological betrayals result in his marginalization. The Winklevoss twins' athletic and privileged backgrounds influence their sense of entitlement and legal pursuits, and Sean Parker's tech-savvy persona thrives in the startup culture, enabling manipulative actions. Overall, these elements push characters towards ethical dilemmas, strained relationships, and transformative decisions, highlighting how environment and innovation can both empower and isolate individuals.
  • Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute to the narrative by providing a multifaceted backdrop that mirrors the story's progression from a college dispute to a global tech empire. The contrast between Harvard's traditional settings and Silicon Valley's modern offices underscores the evolution of Mark's journey, with physical locations like dorm rooms and deposition rooms facilitating key plot points such as the inception of Facebook and legal confrontations. Cultural and societal aspects drive interpersonal conflicts and alliances, while technology serves as the catalyst for action, propelling the story through hacking incidents, viral growth, and business expansions, creating a dynamic narrative that explores the origins and consequences of digital innovation.
  • Thematic depth contribution: These world elements enhance the thematic depth by illustrating themes of social isolation versus connectivity, the corrupting influence of ambition, and the ethical implications of technological advancement. The physical and cultural contrasts highlight the tension between tradition and modernity, reinforcing motifs of elitism and meritocracy. Society's hierarchical structures amplify themes of betrayal and power dynamics, while technology's pervasive role underscores the loss of privacy and the human cost of innovation, adding layers to the exploration of identity, relationships, and the societal impact of the digital age, making the script a commentary on the transformative effects of social media on personal and collective experiences.
Story Engine Analysis

central conflict

The central conflict revolves around Mark Zuckerberg's ambition to create a revolutionary social networking platform, which leads to personal and legal battles with former friends and collaborators over ownership and recognition.

primary motivations

  • Mark's desire for social validation and recognition.
  • Eduardo's need for financial security and partnership stability.
  • The Winklevoss twins' ambition to establish their social networking idea.
  • Sean Parker's drive to influence and control the direction of Facebook.

catalysts

  • Mark's breakup with Erica Albright, which fuels his bitterness and ambition.
  • The success of Facemash, which inspires Mark to create a more expansive social network.
  • The Winklevoss twins' proposal for HarvardConnection, which prompts Mark to develop his own version.
  • Sean Parker's entry into the narrative, providing both mentorship and conflict.

barriers

  • Legal challenges from the Winklevoss twins and Eduardo Saverin.
  • Mark's social awkwardness and inability to maintain personal relationships.
  • Conflicts of interest and differing visions among the founding team.
  • Public scrutiny and backlash from the media and university authorities.

themes

  • The cost of ambition and success.
  • Friendship versus betrayal.
  • The impact of technology on social interactions.
  • Identity and self-perception in the digital age.

stakes

The stakes include financial success, personal relationships, and the legacy of Facebook as a cultural phenomenon, alongside the potential for legal repercussions and personal isolation.

uniqueness factor

The story uniquely intertwines the rise of a tech giant with personal drama, exploring the moral complexities of ambition and innovation in the digital age.

audience hook

The main audience hook lies in the dramatic portrayal of real-life events, the tension between friendship and ambition, and the ethical dilemmas faced by the characters.

paradoxical engine or bisociation

The paradoxical story engine is the juxtaposition of Mark's genius and social ineptitude, creating a tension between his technological prowess and his inability to connect with others, which drives the narrative forward.

paradoxical engine or bisociation 2

Another bisociation could be the contrast between the idealism of social networking as a means of connection and the reality of its impact on personal relationships, highlighting the duality of technology as both a unifier and a divider.


Pass / Consider / Recommend Analysis
HR
Grok
Executive Summary
The Social Network is a masterclass in dramatic storytelling, chronicling the creation of Facebook through sharp, rapid-fire dialogue and a non-linear structure that interweaves present-day depositions with flashbacks. It excels in portraying the high-stakes world of tech innovation, ambition, and betrayal, with Mark Zuckerberg's arc from socially awkward genius to billionaire anti-hero driving a compelling narrative. Strengths include its intellectual depth, rhythmic pacing, and thematic exploration of social connection in a digital age, making it a standout biopic that feels fresh and urgent. Minor improvements could enhance emotional layers for supporting characters, but overall, it's a tightly constructed script with broad commercial and critical appeal.
Strengths
  • The script's dialogue is exceptionally sharp and naturalistic, capturing intellectual banter and social awkwardness that propels character interactions and reveals motivations organically. high ( Scene 1 )
  • The non-linear structure interweaving flashbacks with depositions creates a dynamic, courtroom-drama tension that mirrors the script's themes of accountability and invention. high ( Scene 2 (to 7) )
  • Mark Zuckerberg's character arc from insecure outsider to isolated visionary is richly developed, providing emotional depth and thematic resonance on the price of success. high ( Scene 1 (to end) )
  • Consistent thematic exploration of exclusivity, betrayal, and the irony of a 'social' network eroding real relationships ties the narrative together cohesively. high ( Scene 8 (to end) )
  • Pacing accelerates masterfully during key invention and expansion sequences, building momentum that sustains engagement across the script's runtime. medium ( Scene 20 (to 29) )
Areas of Improvement
  • Deposition scenes occasionally feel repetitive in structure, potentially diluting tension; varying interrogation styles could heighten drama. medium ( Scene 8 (to end) )
  • Supporting characters like the Winklevoss twins and Eduardo receive strong arcs but could benefit from more nuanced emotional beats beyond rivalry and resentment. medium ( Scene 24 (to 28) )
  • Female characters, such as Erica, are pivotal but underdeveloped, serving more as catalysts than fully realized figures, which slightly limits relational depth. low ( Scene 1 (to end) )
  • Some plot threads, like the Winklevoss lawsuit's resolution, feel somewhat abrupt in the finale, needing tighter integration for full narrative closure. low ( Scene 46 (to 47) )
Missing Elements
  • Deeper exploration of the broader cultural impact of Facebook beyond Harvard, such as early user testimonials or ethical dilemmas in privacy, could enrich the world-building. medium
  • More visual or sensory descriptions of the tech environment (e.g., coding montages with specific UI details) to complement the dialogue-heavy style. low
  • Extended resolution for Mark's personal growth or reconciliation attempts, leaving his isolation somewhat unresolved for emotional payoff. medium ( Scene 53 (to end) )
Notable Points
  • Innovative use of voiceover during Facemash creation sequences effectively conveys technical processes without slowing pace. high ( Scene 2 (to 7) )
  • Opening bar scene masterfully establishes tone, stakes, and Mark's flaws through escalating conflict. high ( Scene 1 )
  • Poignant ending with Mark's friend request to Erica underscores themes of regret and disconnection. high ( Scene 59 (to 60) )
  • Script's basis in real events adds authenticity, with creative liberties enhancing dramatic irony. medium
Blind Spots
  • Underdeveloped female perspectives The script focuses intensely on male-driven ambition and rivalries, with women like Erica and Christy often reduced to reactive roles (e.g., Sequence 1 breakup, Sequence 50 apartment scene), potentially overlooking gender dynamics in tech culture. medium
  • Limited visual diversity Heavy reliance on dialogue and interiors (e.g., dorms, offices in Sequences 2-7 and 44-55) misses opportunities for more dynamic exteriors or symbolic visuals to represent digital expansion. low
Amateur Giveaways
  • None evident This professional script exhibits no amateur markers; polished formatting, consistent voice, and seamless integration of V.O. and titles demonstrate expert craftsmanship. low
HR
Gemini
Executive Summary
The screenplay for 'The Social Network' is a masterclass in modern biographical storytelling, expertly balancing sharp, rapid-fire dialogue with compelling character development and a propulsive narrative. Its strengths lie in its nuanced portrayal of ambition, betrayal, and the complex social dynamics of elite academia, all while meticulously crafting distinct arcs for its central characters, particularly Mark Zuckerberg. While minor improvements could refine pacing in specific deposition scenes, the script's overall completeness, narrative strength, and sophisticated writing style make it a standout piece that captivates from beginning to end.
Strengths
Areas of Improvement
Missing Elements
  • While the script effectively shows the creation and early growth of Facebook, a deeper exploration of the *impact* of Facebook on its users beyond the initial novelty and social currency could provide additional thematic depth. The script focuses intensely on the creators and lawsuits, but less on the broader societal shift it catalyzed. medium
  • The motivations of supporting characters like Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes are largely functional. While they serve the plot, a more thorough exploration of their individual aspirations or how they navigate the burgeoning company could add richness to the ensemble. low
  • The script leans heavily on dialogue to drive the narrative and character development. While this is a significant strength, there are opportunities for more visual storytelling to convey Mark's internal state or the scale of Facebook's growth, beyond simply showing screens or deposition rooms. medium
Notable Points
Blind Spots
  • Underestimation of the power of visual storytelling While the dialogue is a major strength, there are instances where visual metaphors or sequences could have been utilized more to convey character emotions or thematic points, rather than relying solely on dialogue or voiceover. For example, Mark's internal isolation could be further amplified visually. medium
  • Nuance in antagonist motivations The script, while excellent at humanizing its protagonist's complex motivations, occasionally presents the antagonists (Winklevoss twins, Saverin) with slightly less depth, leaning into them being driven by entitlement or revenge rather than equally valid interpretations of their experiences. This is particularly noticeable in the early stages. low
Amateur Giveaways
  • Over-reliance on voiceover for exposition While voiceover is used effectively in 'The Social Network' for stylistic reasons and to convey Mark's internal monologue, its extensive use throughout could be perceived as an amateur tendency to 'tell' rather than 'show' in certain narrative moments. However, the script manages to mitigate this significantly through compelling dialogue and visual cues. low
HR
DeepSeek
Executive Summary
Aaron Sorkin's 'The Social Network' script is a masterclass in modern screenwriting, blending razor-sharp dialogue with compelling character arcs and thematic depth. The script successfully transforms the technical creation of Facebook into a Shakespearean drama about friendship, betrayal, and the price of ambition. Through its innovative dual-timeline structure and complex protagonist, it elevates what could have been a dry corporate story into a timeless examination of human relationships in the digital age. The script maintains exceptional pacing, character consistency, and narrative tension throughout, making it one of the most compelling screenplays of the 21st century.
Strengths
Areas of Improvement
Missing Elements
  • Limited exploration of Facebook's actual impact on society and users - the script focuses intensely on the creators but gives minimal attention to the platform's cultural significance medium
  • Underdeveloped female characters beyond Erica Albright - women primarily serve as plot devices or romantic interests rather than fully realized characters medium
Notable Points
Blind Spots
  • Character Perspective Limitations The script occasionally privileges Mark's perspective to the exclusion of other characters' interior lives, particularly Eduardo and the Winklevoss twins, making their motivations sometimes feel secondary to Mark's journey medium
R
GPT5
Executive Summary
This script is a tightly written, dramatically confident origin story of Facebook that succeeds on voice, structure and thematic focus. Its strongest assets are razor-sharp dialogue, a propulsive intercut structure (present-day depositions vs. past invention), memorable set-pieces (Facemash, the interns' hacking contest, the San Francisco office takeover) and a coherent central tragic throughline: ambition displacing friendship. The script occasionally shortchanges or flattens secondary perspectives (notably the women), compresses some legal/technical fallout for narrative economy, and relies heavily on rapid-fire exposition that can make the middle act feel dense. Overall: highly cinematic, emotionally resonant in its own register, and commercially and artistically compelling with room for modest refinements.
Strengths
Areas of Improvement
Missing Elements
  • Deeper closure for Erica: after being the opening emotional provocation and later appearing on Facebook, Erica’s viewpoint or final interaction with Mark is absent — a short scene giving her perspective or final word would enrich the moral texture. high ( Scene 28 (MARK / ERICA reconnection scene) )
  • Practical legal detail: the dissolution/dilution mechanics and Eduardo’s legal choices are dramatized but lack intermediate negotiation beats (lawyers advising him, attempts to remedy). A short sequence showing Eduardo seeking counsel earlier would make his decisions and regrets more understandable. medium ( Scene 56 (INT. NEW FACEBOOK OFFICES - NIGHT (dilution)) )
  • Aftermath of Sean’s arrest: that arc is used for tension but its long-term consequences for Mark/Sean/Facebook (PR, investor reactions) are largely glossed; one additional scene showing investor/press churn would add realism. low ( Scene 59 (INT. NEW FACEBOOK OFFICES / POLICE STATION) )
  • Winklevoss follow-through: the twins’ legal journey is summarized at the end; a brief intimate beat showing their emotional response to settlement would enrich the sense of cost on all sides. low ( Scene 46 (EXT. THE THAMES - HENLEY) )
  • Broader societal context: the script focuses tightly on personalities; it could modestly increase its examination of social impacts (privacy, network effects) without losing dramatic focus. low
Notable Points
Blind Spots
  • Perspective narrowness The writer privileges the male founders’ viewpoints and legal maneuvers, leaving female characters and other affected parties underdeveloped. Examples: Erica is pivotal in seq. 1 and reappears only as a social-media datapoint (seq. 60) rather than a fully formed counter-voice; women in Facemash and party sequences are often objects rather than agents. high
  • Emotional shorthand Some major emotional shifts (Eduardo’s estrangement and legal defeat) are dramatized in high-impact scenes but lack connective beats showing inner processing — the result can feel abrupt (seq. 55-56). medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Over-reliance on expositional shorthand The script occasionally relies on dense email readings, deposition summaries and montage to convey complex developments; while stylistically consistent, this can read as a shortcut around dramatizing certain events (seq. 16-19, 23). medium
  • Secondary-character flattening Many supporting characters — housemates, investors, some female leads — exist primarily to bounce lines or trigger plot beats rather than to hold independent arcs (examples: some ad execs, the girls in party scenes; seq. 34-36, 57). low
R
Claude
Executive Summary
The script for "The Social Network" is a well-crafted and compelling narrative that explores the complex and often tumultuous journey of Mark Zuckerberg and the creation of Facebook. The script consistently portrays the themes of ambition, friendship, betrayal, and the pursuit of success, with strong character development and a compelling overall narrative. While there are a few areas that could be improved, such as pacing in certain sections and the need for more nuanced exploration of some secondary characters, the script is a strong and engaging work that would be of significant interest to its target audience.
Strengths
Areas of Improvement
  • The Winklevoss twins and their storyline could be further developed, as their presence in the script feels somewhat underdeveloped compared to the central characters. medium ( Scene 47 (Award Ceremony) )
  • The pacing in the sequence depicting the party and Sean Parker's arrest could be tightened to maintain the narrative momentum. medium ( Scene 57 (Sorority House) )
  • The script could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the relationship between Mark and Eduardo, particularly in the later stages of the story. medium ( Scene 43 (Computer Science Building/Basement Corridor) )
Missing Elements
  • While the opening scene effectively establishes the antagonistic relationship between Mark and Erica, the script could benefit from a more explicit exploration of Erica's character and her motivations. low ( Scene 1 (Campus Bar) )
  • The script could include more insight into the Winklevoss twins' perspective and their reaction to the success of Facebook, beyond their legal battle. medium ( Scene 47 (Award Ceremony) )
Notable Points
  • The scene featuring the Winklevoss twins' meeting with Larry Summers is a standout, effectively capturing the power dynamics and the university's response to the allegations of intellectual property theft. high ( Scene 26 (Larry Summers' Office) )
  • The final scene, with Mark's introspective moment and his attempt to reconnect with Erica, provides a poignant and thought-provoking conclusion to the script. high ( Scene 60 (First Deposition Room) )
  • The script's use of the deposition framing device is a unique and effective narrative choice that allows for the seamless integration of flashbacks and multiple perspectives. high ( Scene General )
Blind Spots
  • Lack of Diversity While the script effectively explores the complex relationships and motivations of its central characters, it could benefit from a more diverse representation of supporting characters and perspectives. The script is predominantly focused on the experiences of white, male characters, with limited exploration of other demographic groups. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Underdeveloped Secondary Characters The script could be strengthened by providing more nuanced development for some of the secondary characters, such as the Winklevoss twins and Erica Albright. These characters feel somewhat one-dimensional at times, and their storylines could be further explored to add depth and complexity to the overall narrative. medium
Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number Line
1ERICA: You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole.
19MARK: If you guys were the inventors of Facebook you’d have invented Facebook.
5MARK: I need the algorithm.
22Divya: Mark Zuckerberg stole our website. It’s been live for more than 36 hours.
38SEAN: A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool?