The Wizard of oz

- Scenes
- Characters
- Script
- Writer Craft

Executive Summary

Poster

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Overview

Genres: Fantasy, Adventure, Musical, Drama, Family, Comedy

Setting: Early 1900s, Kansas and the Land of Oz

Overview: Array

Themes: Self-Discovery, Friendship, Courage

Conflict and Stakes: Dorothy's journey back home to Kansas, and the challenges she and her companions face along the way.

Overall Mood: Whimsical and adventurous, with a touch of darkness.

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

Scene 1: The opening scene is dark and stormy, setting the tone for the adventure to come.

Scene 5: The scene in the poppy field is ethereal and dreamlike.

Scene 10: The scene in the Witch's castle is suspenseful and thrilling.

Standout Features:

Unique Hook: A classic story that has been adapted into numerous films and stage productions.

Major Twist: The revelation that the Wizard of Oz is a humbug.

Distinctive Setting: The Land of Oz, a whimsical and magical world.

Innovative Idea: The use of ruby slippers as a magical device.

Unique Character: The Cowardly Lion, a memorable and endearing character.

Genre Blend: A blend of fantasy, adventure, and musical genres.

Comparable Scripts:

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1939 Film)

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005 Film)

Alice in Wonderland (1865 Novel)

The Wizard of Oz (1900 Novel)

The Lion King (1994 Film)

The Wizard of Oz (1985 Musical)

Oz the Great and Powerful (2013 Film)

Emerald City (2017 TV Series)

Once Upon a Time (2011 TV Series)

Writing Style:

The screenplay exhibits a whimsical and fantastical writing style, characterized by vivid world-building, imaginative characters, and a sense of wonder. It blends elements of comedy, adventure, and heart, creating a captivating and engaging narrative.

Style Similarities:

L. Frank Baum
Lewis Carroll

Other Similarities

Pass/Consider/Recommend

See full Analysis

Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$100-150 million

Target Audience Demographics: Families, children, and adults who enjoy fantasy and adventure films.

Marketability: It is a classic story with a timeless appeal that can resonate with audiences of all ages.

Strong brand recognition and a built-in audience of fans from the original book and previous adaptations.

Visually stunning special effects and a diverse cast that will appeal to a wide range of viewers.

Profit Potential: Very high, due to its strong appeal to a wide audience and its potential for merchandising and other revenue streams.

See Overview

Analysis Criteria Percentiles

What this means: Each criteria is ranked in comparison to scripts in our Vault (such as The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.) This allows you to see where you stand compared to other produced scripts for each criteria.

Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice in this screenplay is whimsical, heartwarming, and imaginative. It effectively captures the magic and wonder of Oz, while also exploring themes of friendship, courage, and self-discovery.

Best representation: Scene 1 - Barnside Banter and a Close Call. Scene 1 effectively introduces Dorothy's character and her longing for a better life. The dialogue captures her innocence and determination, while the conflict with Miss Gulch sets the stage for her journey to Oz and the adventures that lie ahead.

Memorable Lines:

Dorothy: There's no place like home. (Scene 42)

Dorothy: Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high, There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. (Scene 3)

Lion: I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks. I do -- I do -- I do -- I do -- I do -- I.... (Scene 29)

Oz: I am Oz, the Great and Powerful! (Scene 28)

ALL: Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead! (Scene 37)

Characters

Dorothy:A young farm girl who is transported to the Land of Oz.

The Scarecrow:A kind and intelligent scarecrow who joins Dorothy on her journey.

The Tin Man:A heartless tin man who yearns for a heart.

The Lion:A cowardly lion who seeks courage.

See Characters and Arcs

Story Shape

Summary A young farm girl named Dorothy faces a series of challenges in her ordinary life in Kansas, leading her on a fantastical journey to the Land of Oz. Along the way, she meets new friends who assist her in confronting and overcoming the Wicked Witch of the West. With the help of Glinda the Good Witch, Dorothy learns the value of courage, kindness, and intelligence, ultimately realizing that the power to return home was within her all along. Through her adventures, Dorothy discovers the importance of family and love, gaining a newfound appreciation for her home in Kansas.

Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The plot of The Wizard of Oz is well-structured and engaging, taking Dorothy on a fantastical journey of self-discovery and growth. The film effectively balances lighthearted moments with darker, more suspenseful scenes, creating a sense of wonder and excitement throughout. The introduction of the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion adds depth and complexity to the story, as each character brings their own unique desires and challenges to the group's quest. The use of magic and fantastical elements adds to the film's timeless appeal, while the underlying themes of friendship, courage, and self-acceptance resonate with audiences of all ages.

Suggestions: To enhance the plot, consider expanding on the backstory of the Wizard of Oz and his motivations for coming to Oz. This could add depth to his character and make his eventual reveal more impactful. Additionally, exploring the consequences of Dorothy's actions, such as her accidental killing of the Witch of the East, could add weight to her journey and make her choices feel more meaningful.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here

Beginning The beginning of The Wizard of Oz effectively introduces Dorothy and her life on the Kansas farm, establishing her as a relatable and sympathetic protagonist. The inciting incident of the tornado whisking her away to Oz is both exciting and visually stunning, immediately capturing the audience's attention and setting the stage for her extraordinary adventure. The introduction of the Munchkins and Glinda the Good Witch provides a sense of wonder and magic, while the Wicked Witch of the West sets up a clear antagonist for Dorothy to face.

Suggestions: To strengthen the beginning, consider adding a scene or two that further develops Dorothy's relationships with her Aunt Em and Uncle Henry, as well as the farmhands. This could provide a deeper emotional connection to her home life and make her decision to leave more impactful. Additionally, expanding on the backstory of the Wicked Witch of the West and her motivations could add depth to her character and make her more than just a one-dimensional villain.

Middle The middle part of The Wizard of Oz features a series of exciting and memorable encounters as Dorothy and her companions travel along the Yellow Brick Road. The Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion each face their own challenges and learn valuable lessons about themselves, while Dorothy's determination and courage are tested time and time again. The film effectively balances moments of humor and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.

Suggestions: To enhance the middle section, consider adding more obstacles and challenges for Dorothy and her companions to overcome. This could increase the stakes of their journey and make their eventual triumph more satisfying. Additionally, exploring the relationships between the companions in more depth could add emotional depth to the story and make their bond feel more genuine.

Ending The ending of The Wizard of Oz is both satisfying and emotionally resonant, as Dorothy learns the true meaning of home and the power of friendship. The resolution of the conflict with the Wicked Witch of the West is thrilling and visually stunning, while the characters' final farewells add a touch of bittersweetness to the conclusion. The film's message of self-acceptance and the importance of home is timeless and continues to resonate with audiences today.

Suggestions: To strengthen the ending, consider expanding on the aftermath of Dorothy's return to Kansas. How does her experience in Oz affect her life and relationships? Additionally, exploring the fate of the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion after Dorothy leaves Oz could provide closure to their storylines and add emotional weight to the ending.

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

Story Content

Character Development

Scene Elements

Audience Engagement

Technical Aspects

			Story Content			Character Development				Scene Elements					Audience Engagement				Technical Aspects
Click for Full Analysis	Tone	Overall Grade	Concept	Plot	Originality Score	Characters	Character Changes	Internal Goal	External Goal	Conflict	Opposition	High stakes	Story forward	Twist	Emotional Impact	Dialogue	Engagement	Pacing	Formatting	Structure
1 - Toto's Trouble	Whimsical, Concerned, Instructive	8	7	8	8	7	6	8	7	7	8	6	8	7	6	7	8	9	9	9
2 - Barnside Banter and a Close Call	Light-hearted, Whimsical, Concerned	7	8	6	8	7	5	8	7	6	7	5	7	7	6	7	9	8	8	8
3 - Dorothy's Troublesome Afternoon	Upset, Hopeful, Defensive	8	8	7	7	8	7	8	7	7	8	8	8	7	9	7	9	8	8	8
4 - Toto's Fate	Tense, Emotional, Defiant, Resolute	8	8	7	8	9	8	8	7	9	8	9	8	7	9	8	9	8	9	9
5 - Dorothy's Homecoming	Whimsical, Hopeful, Mysterious	8	8	7	8	9	7	8	7	6	6	6	7	7	8	7	9	8	8	8
6 - A Distant Cry	Emotional, Tense, Mysterious	8	8	7	9	7	7	8	7	7	8	8	8	7	9	6	9	8	8	8
7 - Dorothy's Journey to Munchkinland	Tense, Mysterious, Whimsical	8	9	8	9	7	6	8	7	7	7	8	9	8	7	6	9	9	8	8
8 - Dorothy Meets Glinda and the Munchkins	Whimsical, Magical, Playful	8	8	7	9	8	6	8	7	5	6	4	7	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
9 - Celebration in Munchkin City	Joyful, Celebratory, Whimsical	9	9	8	9	8	6	8	7	3	7	7	9	6	8	7	9	8	8	8
10 - Welcome to Munchkinland and the Wrath of the Witch	Whimsical, Joyful, Menacing	8	8	7	9	7	6	8	7	8	8	8	8	7	7	6	9	8	8	8
11 - The Ruby Slippers	Menacing, Mysterious, Whimsical	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	9	8	9	8	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
12 - The Yellow Brick Road	Whimsical, Hopeful, Playful	8	8	7	9	8	6	8	7	5	6	4	8	7	6	7	9	8	8	8
13 - The Scarecrow's Dilemma	Whimsical, Playful, Inquisitive	8	8	7	9	9	7	8	7	4	6	5	8	7	6	8	9	8	8	8
14 - The Scarecrow's Dream of a Brain	Whimsical, Hopeful, Playful	8	8	7	9	9	6	8	7	4	7	3	7	7	7	8	9	8	8	8
15 - Meeting the Scarecrow	Whimsical, Hopeful, Playful	8	8	7	9	9	7	9	8	5	7	4	8	7	6	8	9	8	8	8
16 - The Apple-Throwing Trees and the Rusted Tin Man	Whimsical, Hopeful, Playful	8	8	7	9	9	7	8	7	5	6	4	8	7	6	7	9	8	8	8
17 - The Tin Man's Heartless Woe	Whimsical, Hopeful, Melancholic	8	8	7	9	9	8	8	7	6	6	6	7	7	8	7	9	8	8	8
18 - Confrontation with the Witch	Whimsical, Playful, Light-hearted	8	8	7	9	9	7	8	7	7	7	7	8	7	8	7	9	8	8	8
19 - Encounter in the Eerie Forest	Whimsical, Light-hearted, Playful	8	8	7	9	9	7	8	7	7	8	7	8	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
20 - The Lion's Cowardice	Playful, Whimsical, Light-hearted	8	8	8	9	9	8	8	7	7	7	6	8	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
21 - Song and Journey	Whimsical, Hopeful, Playful	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	6	7	7	8	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
22 - Dorothy and the Poppy Field	Whimsical, Playful, Magical	8	8	7	9	8	7	8	7	7	7	7	8	7	8	7	9	8	8	8
23 - Arrival at the Emerald City Gate	Whimsical, Hopeful, Magical	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	6	7	6	8	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
24 - The Merry Old Land of Oz	Whimsical, Upbeat, Playful	8	8	7	9	8	5	8	7	3	6	4	7	7	6	7	9	8	8	8
25 - The Wicked Witch's Threat	Whimsical, Playful, Magical	8	8	8	9	7	7	8	7	8	7	8	8	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
26 - The Lion's Coronation	Whimsical, Playful, Hopeful	8	8	7	9	9	8	8	7.5	7	7	7	7	8	8	8	9	8.5	8	8
27 - A Call to Courage	Playful, Whimsical, Emotional	8	8	7	9	9	7	8	7.5	6	8	6	7	8	8	8	9	8.5	8	8
28 - An Audience with Oz	Whimsical, Dramatic, Intense	8	8	8	8	7	7	8	7.5	8	8	9	9	8	8	9	9	8.5	8	8
29 - Into the Haunted Forest	Whimsical, Tense, Playful	8	8	7	8	8	8	8	7.5	9	7	9	8	8	8	7	9	8.5	8	8
30 - The Jitterbug Attack	Whimsical, Playful, Fearful	8	8	7	9	8	7	8	7	8	7	7	8	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
31 - The Attack of the Winged Monkeys	Whimsical, Tense, Playful	8	7	8	8	8	7	8	7	8	8	8	8	8	8	7	9	9	9	9
32 - Dorothy's Impending Doom	Tense, Dramatic, Suspenseful	8	8	8	9	7	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	8
33 - The Lion's Bravery	Fearful, Brave, Emotional, Hopeful	8	8	8	8	9	8	8	7.5	7	8	8	9	8	9	7	9	8.5	8	8
34 - Rescue from the Tower	Whimsical, Dramatic, Hopeful	8	7	9	9	8	8	8	7.5	8	8	9	9	8	9	7	9	8.5	8	8
35 - Trapped in the Witch's Castle	Tense, Action-packed, Dramatic	8	8	8	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	7	8	7	9	9	8	8
36 - The Melting of the Witch	Tense, Exciting, Dramatic, Surreal	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	7	8	7	9	8	8	8
37 - Triumphant Return to Oz	Joyful, Triumphant, Hopeful	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	7	5	7	7	8	6	9	7	9	8	8	8
38 - The Wizard's Deception	Whimsical, Dramatic, Humorous	8	8	7	9	8	8	8	7	8	8	8	8	8	7	7	9	8	8	8
39 - The Wizard's Honorary Awards	Whimsical, Inspirational, Playful	8	8	7	9	9	8	8	7	5	7	6	7	7	7	8	9	8	8	8
40 - The Wizard's Gifts	Whimsical, Inspirational, Hopeful	8	8	7	9	8	7	8	7	4	7	5	8	7	7	9	9	8	8	8
41 - The Wizard's Departure	Whimsical, Dramatic, Hopeful	8	8	7	9	8	7	8	7	6	7	6	7	7	8	7	9	8	8	8
42 - Dorothy's Return to Kansas	Hopeful, Reflective, Emotional	9	8	8	8	9	8	9	8	3	6	4	8	7	9	8	9	8	9	9
43 - Dorothy Returns Home	Sentimental, Reflective, Nostalgic	9	8	8	8	8	8	9	7	2	6	3	7	6	10	7	9	8	8	8

Scene 1 - Toto's Trouble

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 7
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 7

The Wizard Of Oz

by
Noel Langley
Florence Ryerson
and Edgar Allen Woolf

Last revised March 15, 1939
FADE IN -- Title:

For nearly forty years this story has given faithful service to the Young
in Heart; and Time has been powerless to put its kindly philosophy out of
fashion.

To those of you who have been faithful to it in return

...and to the Young in Heart --- we dedicate this picture.

FADE OUT:

MS -- Dorothy stoops down to Toto -- speaks to him -- then runs down road
to b.g. -- Toto following --

DOROTHY
She isn't coming yet, Toto. Did she hurt
you? She tried to, didn't she? Come on --
we'll go tell Uncle Henry and Auntie Em.
Come on, Toto.

LS -- Farm yard -- Dorothy enters left b.g. along road -- Toto following
her -- CAMERA PANS right -- she comes forward thru gate -- runs forward to
Aunt Em and Uncle Henry working at Incubator --

DOROTHY
Aunt Em! Aunt Em!

MS -- Aunt Em and Uncle Henry working with baby chicks in incubator --
Dorothy runs in -- speaks to them -- Dorothy picks up baby chick -- CAMERA
TRUCKS back as Aunt Em and Dorothy come forward -- Aunt Em puts chick in
coop with hen -- then TRUCKS forward as they go to b.g. to incubator --
Dorothy reacts -- Uncle Henry looks at her -- CAMERA PANS her to left
across yard --

DOROTHY
Aunt Em!

AUNT EM
Fifty-seven, fifty-eight --

DOROTHY
Just listen to what Miss Gulch did to Toto!
She --

AUNT EM
Dorothy, please! We're trying to count!
Fifty-eight--

DOROTHY
Oh, but Aunt Em, she hit him over the --

UNCLE HENRY
Don't bother us now, honey -- this old
incubator's gone bad, and we're likely to
lose a lot of our chicks.

DOROTHY
Oh -- oh, the poor little things. Oh, but
Aunt Em, Miss Gulch hit Toto right over the
back with a rake just because she says he
gets in her garden and chases her nasty old
cat every day.
AUNT EM
Seventy -- Dorothy, please!

DOROTHY
Oh, but he doesn't do it every day -- just
once or twice a week. And he can't catch
her old cat, anyway. And now she says she's
gonna get the sheriff, and --

AUNT EM
Dorothy! Dorothy! We're busy!

DOROTHY
Oh -- all right.

MCS - Aunt Em and Uncle Henry taking chicks out of incubator -

UNCLE HENRY
Poor little orphan, and her Miss Gulch
troubles. Gosh all hemlock - you know, she
ought to have somebody to play with.

AUNT EM
I know, but we all got to work out our own
problems, Henry.

UNCLE HENRY
Yes.

AUNT EM
Oh, I hope we got them in time.

UNCLE HENRY
Yes.

MLS -- Zeke -- Hunk and Hickory working on wagon -- Hickory and Zeke
lowering bed of wagon into place --

ZEKE
How's she coming?

HUNK
Take it easy.

CS -- Hunk on ground -- gets finger caught under wagon bed -- reacts --

HUNK
Ow! You got my finger!

CS -- Zeke and Hickory holding wagon bed --

ZEKE
Well, why don't you get your finger out of
the way!

MLS -- Zeke and Hickory put wagon bed in place -- Hunk sitting on ground
by wagon -- Dorothy enters -- comes forward to Zeke -- CAMERA TRUCKS
forward on them -- they speak -- Zeke exits left f.g. -- Hunk enters --
speaks to Dorothy -- Hickory exits right -- PAN left as Hunk and Dorothy
go over by wagon -- they speak -- Dorothy exits right -- Hunk hits his
finger with hammer -- whirls around --

HICKORY
Come on - come on - over this way.
ZEKE
Okay.

HICKORY
There you are.

HUNK
Right on my finger!

ZEKE
It's a lucky thing it wasn't your head.

DOROTHY
Zeke, what am I going to do about Miss
Gulch? Just because Toto chases her old
cat --

ZEKE
Listen, honey, I got them hogs to get in.

HUNK
Now lookit, Dorothy, you ain't using your
head about Miss Gulch. Think you didn't
have any brains at all.

DOROTHY
I have so got brains.

HUNK
Well, why don't you use them? When you come
home, don't go by Miss Gulch's place. Then
Toto won't get in her garden, and you won't
get in no trouble. See?

Genres: ["Fantasy","Family","Adventure"]

Summary Dorothy's dog gets into trouble with the neighbor's cat, and Miss Gulch threatens to call the sheriff. Hunk, the hired hand, tells Dorothy to avoid Miss Gulch's property.

Strengths

Clear establishment of conflict
Effective introduction of characters

Weaknesses

Lack of emotional depth
Limited character development

Critique

The scene sets up the conflict between Dorothy and Miss Gulch effectively, but it lacks depth in character interactions.
The dialogue feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more natural pacing and emotional depth.
There is a missed opportunity to explore Dorothy's feelings of frustration and helplessness in dealing with Miss Gulch and her dog Toto's situation.
The interactions between Dorothy, Aunt Em, Uncle Henry, and the farmhands could be more nuanced to show the dynamics of their relationships.
The scene could use more visual descriptions and actions to enhance the storytelling and engage the audience.

Suggestions

Consider adding more emotional depth to the characters' interactions to make the scene more engaging.
Slow down the pacing of the dialogue to allow for more natural and realistic conversations.
Explore Dorothy's internal struggles and emotions regarding Miss Gulch and Toto's situation to add depth to her character.
Add visual descriptions and actions to enhance the storytelling and create a more vivid scene for the audience.

Scene 2 - Barnside Banter and a Close Call

Overall: 7.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 6
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 7

DOROTHY
Oh, Hunk, you just won't listen, that's all.

HUNK
Well, your head ain't made of straw, you know.

MLS - Int. Barn - Hickory working on wind machine - straightens up -
reacts - Dorothy comes forward - CAMERA TRUCKS forward as Hickory goes to
her - he speaks to her - turns motor of wind machine on - they watch it -
oil spurts out into Hickory's face - he reacts - Dorothy exit left -

HICKORY
Oh! Oh, it feels like my joints are rusted.
Listen, Dorothy, don't let Hunk kid you
about Miss Gulch. She's just a poor
sour-faced old maid that -- she ain't got
no heart left. You know, you should have a
little more heart yourself, and have pity
on her.

DOROTHY
Well, gee, I try and have a heart.

HICKORY
Now look, here's something that really has
a heart. This is the best invention I ever
invented.

DOROTHY
This?
HICKORY
Sure. It's to break up winds, so we don't
have no more dust storms. Can you imagine
what it'll mean to this section of the
country? I'll show you. It works perfectly
now. Here's the principle. You see that fan
-- that sends up air currents into the sky.
These air currents -- Oh, stop it!

DOROTHY
Oh!

HICKORY
Who did it? Now wait a minute.

DOROTHY
Hickory!

HICKORY
Now what happened? I'll bet Hunk did that.

MLS -- Zeke driving pigs into pen -- Dorothy enters in b.g. walks along
railing of pen -- Zeke goes to b.g. -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward -- Zeke pours
feed into trough --

ZEKE
Say! Get in there before I make a dime bank
out of you! Listen, kid, are you going to
let that old Gulch heifer try and buffalo
you?

MCS -- Zeke poring feed into trough -- speaks --

ZEKE
She ain't nothing to be afraid of. Have a
little courage, that's all.

MLS -- Dorothy walking along railing between pig pens --

DOROTHY
I'm not afraid of her.

MCS -- Zeke picks up another bucket of feed -- pours it into trough --

ZEKE
Then the next time she squawks, walk right
up to her and spit in her eye. That's what
I'd do!

MLS -- Dorothy on railing -- loses her balance -- falls into pig pen --

DOROTHY
Oh!

MCS -- Zeke reacts -- CAMERA PANS left as he jumps into pen -- takes
Dorothy's foot out of wire -- then picks her up -- CAMERA PANS right as he
carries her out of pen -- puts her down with Hunk and Hickory -- Zeke
jumps out of pen -- sits down -- wipes his brow --

DOROTHY
Oh! Oh, Zeke! Help! Help me, Zeke! Get
me out of here! Help!
HICKORY
Are you all right, Dorothy?

DOROTHY
Yes, I'm all right. Oh -- I fell in and --
and Zeke --

MCS -- Zeke -- Dorothy -- Hunk and Hickory -- they all look at Zeke --
they laugh -- Aunt Em enters with plate of crullers -- CAMERA TRUCKS
forward on Hunk -- Aunt Em and Hickory -- they speak -- Hunk and Hickory
each take cruller -- go to b.g. -- CAMERA PULLS back as Aunt Em comes
forward to Zeke and Dorothy -- she speaks to Zeke -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward
as Dorothy and Aunt Em walk to b.g. -- Dorothy takes cruller -- Aunt Em
runs to b.g. --

DOROTHY
Why, Zeke, -- you're just as scared as I am!

HUNK
What's the matter -- gonna let a little old
pig make a coward out of you?

HICKORY
Look at you, Zeke -- you're just as white --

AUNT EM
Here, here, what's all this jabber-wapping
when there's work to be done? I know three
shiftless farm hands that'll be out of a
job before they know it!

HICKORY
Well, Dorothy was walking along the --

AUNT EM
I saw you tinkering with that contraption,
Hickory. Now, you and Hunk get back to that
wagon!

HICKORY
All right, Mrs. Gale. But some day they're
going to erect a statue to me in this town,
and --

AUNT EM
Well, don't start posing for it now. Here,
here -- can't work on an empty stomach.
Have some crullers.

HUNK
Gosh, Mrs. Gale.

AUNT EM
Just fried.

HICKORY
Thanks.

HUNK
Swell.

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Dorothy expresses her distrust of Miss Gulch, but Hunk dismisses her. Hickory unveils his wind machine invention, while Dorothy falls into a pig pen. Zeke assists her, and Aunt Em arrives with refreshments, scolding the farmhands for their idleness.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Character dynamics
Blend of drama and comedy

Weaknesses

Lack of significant character development
Low stakes

Critique

The scene starts off with Dorothy expressing her frustration to Hunk, but the dialogue feels a bit abrupt and lacks depth in terms of emotional connection between the characters.
The interaction between Hickory and Dorothy about the wind machine invention feels forced and doesn't flow naturally. The dialogue comes across as overly expository and could benefit from more subtlety.
The physical comedy of Dorothy falling into the pig pen and Zeke helping her out is a nice touch, but the transition from this comedic moment to Aunt Em's entrance with crullers feels disjointed.
The dialogue between Aunt Em, Hunk, Hickory, and Zeke lacks depth and doesn't add much to the overall development of the characters or the plot. It feels like a filler conversation rather than a meaningful interaction.
The scene could benefit from more nuanced character interactions, deeper emotional moments, and a smoother transition between comedic elements and more serious moments.

Suggestions

Consider revising the dialogue between Dorothy and Hunk to add more emotional depth and authenticity to their interaction.
Try to make the conversation about the wind machine invention between Hickory and Dorothy more engaging and natural, focusing on character dynamics rather than exposition.
Work on creating a smoother transition between the comedic moment of Dorothy falling into the pig pen and the entrance of Aunt Em with crullers to maintain the flow of the scene.
Enhance the dialogue between Aunt Em, Hunk, Hickory, and Zeke to make it more meaningful and relevant to the characters' development and the overall plot.
Focus on adding more nuanced character interactions, deeper emotional moments, and a cohesive blend of comedic and serious elements to elevate the scene and engage the audience.

Scene 3 - Dorothy's Troublesome Afternoon

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

ZEKE
You see, Dorothy toppled in with the big
Duroc...
AUNT EM
It's no place for Dorothy about a pig sty!
Now you go feed those hogs before they worry
themselves into anemia!

ZEKE
Yes'am.

DOROTHY
Auntie Em, really -- you know what Miss
Gulch said she was gonna do to Toto? She
said she was gonna --

AUNT EM
Now, Dorothy, dear, stop imagining things.
You always get yourself into a fret over
nothing.

DOROTHY
No --

AUNT EM
Now, you just help us out today, and find
yourself a place where you won't get into
any trouble.

MCU -- Dorothy reacts -- speaks --

DOROTHY
Some place where there isn't any trouble.

MS -- Dorothy and Toto -- she tosses him a piece of the cruller -- Toto
eats it -- Dorothy speaks as she walks forward -- she sings -- leans
against haystack -- then walks over near rake -- CAMERA PANS right --

DOROTHY
Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto?
There must be. It's not a place you can
get to by a boat or a train. It's far, far
away -- behind the moon -- beyond the rain --

DOROTHY
(sings)
Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high,
There's a land that I heard of once in a
lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream really
do....

CS -- Toto by wheel of rake -- listening to song --

DOROTHY o.s.
(sings)
...come true....

MCS -- Dorothy singing -- swings on wheel of rake -- then walks forward
around wheel -- Toto jumps up onto seat of rake -- Dorothy pets him --
sits on front of rake -- CAMERA PULLS back -- Dorothy finishes song --
DOROTHY
(sings)
...Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind
me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops,
Away above the chimney tops,
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then -- oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh, why can't I?

LS -- Miss Gulch rides along country road on bicycle -- CAMERA PANS to
right with her --

LS -- Miss Gulch rides forward to front of Gale's home -- stops and gets
off her bicycle as Uncle Henry comes forward --

MISS GULCH
Mr. Gale!

UNCLE HENRY
Howdy, Miss Gulch.

MISS GULCH
I want to see you and your wife right
away....

MCS -- Uncle Henry and Miss Gulch at gate -- they speak -- Uncle Henry
lets go of the gate -- it hits Miss Gulch -- she reacts -- exits left --
Uncle Henry puts paint brush down -- starts out left --

MISS GULCH
... about Dorothy.

UNCLE HENRY
Dorothy? Well, what has Dorothy done?

MISS GULCH
What's she done? I'm all but lame from the
bite on my leg!

UNCLE HENRY
You mean she bit you?

MISS GULCH
No, her dog!

UNCLE HENRY
Oh, she bit her dog, eh?

MISS GULCH
NO!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

LS -- Int. Gale Sitting room -- Aunt Em and Miss Gulch seated -- Dorothy
enters -- carrying Toto in her arms -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward on them --
PANS to right with Dorothy to Uncle Henry -- then Pans her left to Aunt Em
and Miss Gulch -- Miss Gulch shows order to Aunt Em -- Uncle Henry enters
-- looks at the order -- Miss Gulch picks up basket -- rises -- Dorothy
screams at Miss Gulch -- Miss Gulch tries to take Toto away from Dorothy --
Uncle Henry takes Toto -- puts him into basket --

MISS GULCH
That dog's a menace to the community. I'm
taking him to the sheriff and make sure he's
destroyed.

DOROTHY
Destroyed? Toto? Oh, you can't! You
mustn't! Auntie Em! Uncle Henry! You won't
let her, will you?

UNCLE HENRY
Of course we won't. Will we, Em?

DOROTHY
Please, Aunt Em, Toto didn't mean to. He
didn't know he was doing anything wrong.
I'm the one that ought to be punished. I
let him go in her garden. You can send me
to bed without supper --

Genres: ["Drama","Family","Fantasy"]

Summary Dorothy, a young girl living on a farm in Kansas, dreams of a better life away from her troubles. While singing about her wishes, she is interrupted by her stern neighbor, Miss Gulch, who threatens to have Toto, Dorothy's beloved dog, destroyed for biting her. Uncle Henry, Dorothy's father, initially intervenes, but ultimately allows Miss Gulch to take Toto away, leaving Dorothy heartbroken.

Strengths

Emotional depth of characters
Engaging dialogue
Iconic song performance

Weaknesses

Some predictable character interactions
Slightly melodramatic moments

Critique

The scene starts off with a clear conflict between Dorothy and Aunt Em regarding Toto's behavior near the pig sty, but the tension quickly dissipates as Dorothy starts singing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow.' This abrupt shift in tone can be confusing for the audience and disrupt the flow of the scene.
The dialogue between Dorothy, Aunt Em, and Miss Gulch feels a bit rushed and lacks depth. There is an opportunity to delve deeper into the emotions and motivations of the characters, especially in such a pivotal moment where Toto's fate is at stake.
The transition from Dorothy singing to Miss Gulch arriving at the house feels disjointed and could be smoother to maintain the coherence of the scene.
The visual elements described in the scene, such as Dorothy swinging on the wheel of the rake while singing, add a whimsical touch but may not fully align with the seriousness of the conflict at hand. Balancing the tone and visual elements can enhance the overall impact of the scene.
The resolution of the conflict with Miss Gulch taking Toto away feels rushed and lacks a satisfying conclusion. There is an opportunity to build more tension and emotion in this moment to engage the audience further.

Suggestions

Consider maintaining a consistent tone throughout the scene to ensure a cohesive narrative flow.
Enhance the dialogue to add depth to the characters and their relationships, especially in moments of conflict and resolution.
Work on smoother transitions between different beats in the scene to avoid abrupt shifts in tone or pacing.
Revisit the visual elements to ensure they complement the emotional beats of the scene and enhance the storytelling.
Explore ways to build more tension and emotional impact in the resolution of the conflict with Miss Gulch taking Toto away, to create a more compelling and satisfying conclusion.

Scene 4 - Toto's Fate

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

MISS GULCH
If you don't hand over that dog, I'll bring
a damage suit that'll take your whole farm!
There's a law protecting folks against dogs
that bite!

AUNT EM
How would it be if she keeps him tied up?
He's really gentle -- with gentle people,
that is.

MISS GULCH
Well, that's for the Sheriff to decide.
Here's his order allowing me to take him.
Unless you want to go against the law.

UNCLE HENRY
Uhh -- yeah --

AUNT EM
Now, we can't go against the law, Dorothy.
I'm afraid poor Toto will have to go.

MISS GULCH
Now you're seeing reason.

DOROTHY
No --

MISS GULCH
Here's what I'm taking him in -- so he can't
attack me again.

DOROTHY
Oh, no, no! I won't let you take him! You
go away, you....! Oooh, I'll bite you myself!

AUNT EM
Dorothy!
DOROTHY
You wicked old witch! Uncle Henry, Auntie
Em, don't let 'em take Toto! Don't let her
take him -- please!

MISS GULCH
Here! I've got an order! Let me have...

DOROTHY
Stop her!

AUNT EM
Put him in the basket, Henry.

MISS GULCH
The idea!

DOROTHY
Oh, don't, Uncle Henry. Oh, Toto! Don't...

MCU -- Dorothy crying -- looks o.s. to Aunt Em -- then to Uncle Henry
then turns and starts out --

MS -- Dorothy runs out of the room -- Aunt Em rises -- looks after Dorothy
-- then turns to Miss Gulch and Uncle Henry -- Aunt Em speaks to Miss
Gulch -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward -- Aunt Em exits left -- Uncle Henry sits
in chair at right f.g. -- grins --

AUNT EM
Almira Gulch, just because you own half the
county doesn't mean you have the power to
run the rest of us! For twenty-three years,
I've been dying to tell you what I thought
of you! And now -- well, being a Christian
woman, I can't say it!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

MS -- Miss Gulch riding bicycle to left -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward on basket
on back of bicycle -- Toto sticks his head out -- looks about -- then
jumps out --

MS -- Toto jumps to ground -- CAMERA PANS up as he runs down road to
b.g. --

LS -- Miss Gulch riding forward down dirt road on her bicycle -- she exits
left f.g. --

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

MS -- Int. Dorothy's room -- Dorothy sitting on floor by bed -- crying --
Toto jumps in thru window and onto bed -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward as Dorothy
hugs him -- reacts -- speaks to him -- then takes suitcase from under bed
-- starts packing it -- (Toto barks)

DOROTHY
Toto, darling! Oh, I got you back! You
came back! Oh, I'm so glad! Toto! Oh,
they'll be coming back for you in a minute.
We've got to get away! We've got to run
away -- quick!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:
MS -- Dorothy's and Toto's footprints in dirt road -- CAMERA PANS up
showing them walking down road to b.g. -- Dorothy carrying suitcase and
basket --

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

LS -- Dorothy and Toto walking to right across bridge --

MLS -- Dorothy and Toto on bridge -- Dorothy looks down to f.g. -- Toto
runs forward down path -- exits f.g. --

MLS -- Camp -- lettering on wagon -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward on wagon --

PROFESSOR
MARVEL
ACCLAIMED BY
The CROWNED HEADS of EUROPE

Let Him In His
Read Your PAST - PRESENT and FUTURE Crystal

Also Juggling and Sleight of Hand

Dorothy enters in f.g. -- reads sign -- reacts to Professor humming o.s. --

MLS -- Professor steps down out of wagon -- sees Dorothy -- speaks to her
as he crosses to fire at left -- Dorothy comes forward --

PROFESSOR
Well, well, well -- house guests, huh? And
who might you be? No, no -- now don't tell
me.

MCS -- Professor sits by fire -- Dorothy comes forward -- they speak --

PROFESSOR
Let's see -- you're -- you're travelling in
disguise. No, that's not right. I -- you're
-- you're going on a visit. No, I'm wrong.
That's...You're -- running away.

DOROTHY
How did you guess?

PROFESSOR
Professor Marvel never guesses -- he knows!
Now, why are you running away?

DOROTHY
Why --

Genres: ["Drama","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary Miss Gulch threatens to sue the family if they don't hand over Toto. Dorothy refuses to let her take Toto and calls her a witch. Aunt Em reluctantly agrees to let Miss Gulch take Toto away. Dorothy runs out of the room crying. Aunt Em stands up to Miss Gulch and tells her off. Toto jumps out of Miss Gulch's basket and runs away. Dorothy packs her suitcase and leaves with Toto. They come across a camp and meet Professor Marvel.

Strengths

Strong character dynamics
Emotional intensity
Compelling conflict resolution

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly melodramatic

Critique

The scene effectively establishes the conflict between Miss Gulch and Dorothy over Toto, creating tension and emotional stakes.
The dialogue between the characters is clear and helps to move the scene forward, especially Aunt Em's confrontation with Miss Gulch.
The emotional beats of the scene are well portrayed, with Dorothy's desperation to keep Toto and Aunt Em's defiance towards Miss Gulch.
The visual elements, such as Toto jumping out of the basket and Dorothy packing her suitcase, add depth to the scene.
The transition from the confrontation with Miss Gulch to Dorothy leaving with Toto is smooth and keeps the momentum of the story.
The LAP DISSOLVE TO technique is effectively used to transition between different locations and timeframes within the scene.

Suggestions

Consider adding more internal conflict for Dorothy to enhance her emotional journey in the scene.
Explore deeper into Aunt Em's character to provide more context for her confrontation with Miss Gulch.
Add a moment of reflection for Uncle Henry to show his internal struggle with the decision to let Toto go.
Enhance the visual storytelling by incorporating more symbolic elements that reflect the emotional turmoil of the characters.
Consider adding a subtle foreshadowing of Dorothy's eventual return home to Kansas within the scene.
Ensure a smooth transition between the emotional intensity of the confrontation and the quieter moment of Dorothy leaving with Toto.

Scene 5 - Dorothy's Homecoming

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 7

PROFESSOR
No, no -- now don't tell me. They -- they
don't understand you at home. They don't
appreciate you. You want to see other lands
-- big cities -- big mountains -- big
oceans --

DOROTHY
Why, it's just like you could read what was
inside of me.

MLS -- Professor and Dorothy by fire -- Professor roasting wiener on
stick --
PROFESSOR
Yes --

DOROTHY
Please, Professor, why can't we go along
with you?

CS -- Toto enters -- bites wiener off stick --

PROFESSOR o.s.
Well, we -- uh --

DOROTHY o.s.
Oh, Toto, that's not....

MCS -- Professor and Dorothy -- Dorothy scolds Toto o.s.

DOROTHY
...polite! We haven't been asked yet.

MLS -- Professor and Dorothy -- Toto in front of them eating wiener --
Professor laughs and speaks -- puts another wiener on stick --

PROFESSOR
He's perfectly welcome. As one dog to
another, huh? Here now -- let's see where
were we?

MCS -- Professor and Dorothy speak -- Professor puts stick down at left --

PROFESSOR
Oh, yes - you - you wanted to go home, huh?

DOROTHY
Oh, no, I wanted to go along with you.

PROFESSOR
Oh --

DOROTHY
Nobody cares about me at home. They wouldn't
even miss me.

PROFESSOR
Aw, come, come, come --

DOROTHY
No, they won't - honestly.

PROFESSOR
Oh --

DOROTHY
Auntie Em was even going to let them kill
Toto yesterday for biting Miss Gulch. Oh,
please, Professor, why can't we go with you
and see all the Crowned Heads of Europe?

PROFESSOR
Do you know any? Oh, you mean the thing
-- Yes, well, I -- I never do anything
without consulting my crystal first.
Let's....
MLS -- Professor rises -- CAMERA PANS as he and Dorothy cross to right to
wagon --

PROFESSOR
...go inside here -- we'll -- Just come
along. I'll show you. There you are - right
in there.

MLS -- Int. Wagon -- Dorothy and Professor come in -- CAMERA TRUCKS
forward -- Professor moves chair up for Dorothy -- then lights candles --
sits down -- puts on turban -- speaks to Dorothy -- she closes her eyes --
he takes her basket -- looks thru it -- takes out a photograph --

PROFESSOR
That's right. Here -- sit right down here.
That's it. Ha ha! This -- this is the same
genuine, magic, authentic crystal used by
the Priests of Isis and Osiris in the days
of the Pharaohs of Egypt -- in which
Cleopatra first saw the approach of Julius
Caesar and Marc Anthony, and -- and so on
-- and so on. Now, you -- you'd better
close your eyes, my child, for a moment --
in order to be better in tune with the
infinite. We -- we can't do these things
without....

INSERT -- CU -- photograph of Dorothy and Aunt Em --

PROFESSOR o.s.
...reaching out into the....

MCU -- Professor looks at photograph --

PROFESSOR
...infinite. Yes.

MCS -- Dorothy and Professor -- he puts photograph on chair -- Dorothy
opens her eyes -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward as Professor looks into the
crystal --

PROFESSOR
That's -- that's all right. Now you can
open them. We'll gaze into the crystal.
Ahh -- what's this I see? A house -- with a
picket fence....

CU -- Dorothy -- Camera shooting past Professor at right f.g. -- Dorothy
reacts --

PROFESSOR
...and a barn -- with a weather vane and a
-- of a -- of a running horse.

MCU - Professor - Camera shooting past Professor at left f.g. - he looks
into crystal - speaks -

PROFESSOR
No - it's - it's - a crowing rooster.

CU -- Dorothy -- Camera shooting past Professor --

DOROTHY
That's our farm!
PROFESSOR
Oh -- yes.

MCS -- Dorothy and Professor -- He looks into crystal -- then looks down
at photograph --

PROFESSOR
Yes, there's -- there's a woman -- she's....

INSERT -- CU of the photograph --

MCS -- Dorothy and Professor -- he puts the photograph away again -- looks
into crystal --

PROFESSOR
...she's wearing a polka-dot dress....

MCU -- Professor -- Camera shooting past Dorothy --

PROFESSOR
...her face is careworn.

DOROTHY
Yes...That's Aunt Em.

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Drama"]

Summary Professor Marvel encourages Dorothy to talk about her desire to leave home and travel with him. As they sit by a fire, Dorothy reveals that she feels unappreciated and unwanted at home. The Professor suggests they consult his crystal to see if it's meant to be. He gazes into the crystal and sees images of Dorothy's farm and Aunt Em. He describes what he sees, and Dorothy confirms that it's her home. The Professor continues to look into the crystal and sees a woman in a polka-dot dress with a careworn face, which Dorothy identifies as Aunt Em. The scene ends with Dorothy feeling more connected to her home and Aunt Em, but still curious about the world beyond.

Strengths

Introduction of Professor Marvel
Exploration of Dorothy's desires and emotions
Engaging dialogue

Weaknesses

Limited external conflict
Lack of immediate action

Critique

The scene between Professor Marvel and Dorothy lacks depth and emotional connection. The dialogue feels rushed and lacks authenticity, making it difficult for the audience to fully engage with the characters and their motivations.
The transition from Dorothy expressing her desire to leave home to suddenly being inside the wagon with Professor Marvel feels abrupt and disjointed. There is a lack of smooth transition that disrupts the flow of the scene.
The use of the crystal ball as a plot device feels cliched and lacks originality. It comes across as a contrived way to move the story forward rather than a meaningful and organic development.
The interaction between Dorothy and Professor Marvel lacks subtlety and nuance. The dialogue is overly expository and lacks the emotional depth needed to truly connect with the audience.
The scene could benefit from more character development and exploration of Dorothy's inner conflict and motivations. This would help to create a more engaging and compelling interaction between Dorothy and Professor Marvel.

Suggestions

Consider slowing down the pace of the scene to allow for more meaningful interactions between Dorothy and Professor Marvel. This will help to build tension and emotional depth.
Focus on creating a more seamless transition between Dorothy expressing her desire to leave home and her interaction with Professor Marvel. This will help to maintain the continuity of the story.
Explore alternative plot devices or ways to move the story forward that feel more original and engaging. This will help to keep the audience interested and invested in the narrative.
Work on developing the dialogue between Dorothy and Professor Marvel to be more nuanced and emotionally resonant. This will help to create a more authentic and compelling interaction between the characters.
Consider delving deeper into Dorothy's inner conflict and motivations to add layers to her character. This will help to create a more dynamic and engaging scene that resonates with the audience.

Scene 6 - A Distant Cry

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 6

PROFESSOR
Her -- her name is Emily.

CU -- Dorothy -- Camera shooting past Professor -- Dorothy reacts --

DOROTHY
That's right. What's she doing?

PROFESSOR
Well, I -- I can't quite see. Why, she's crying.

DOROTHY
Oh --

PROFESSOR
Someone has hurt her -- someone has just
about broken her heart.

DOROTHY
Me?

MCU -- Professor -- camera shooting past Dorothy --

PROFESSOR
Well, it's -- it's someone she loves very
much. Someone she's been very kind to.
Someone she's taken care of in sickness.

CU -- Dorothy reacts -- speaks -- Camera shooting past Professor --

DOROTHY
I had the measles once -- and she stayed
right by me every minute.

PROFESSOR
Uh-huh.

DOROTHY
What's she doing now?
MCU - Professor looks into crystal - Camera shooting past Dorothy -

PROFESSOR
Well, she's - she's going into a little bed....

CU - Dorothy - Camera shooting past Professor -

PROFESSOR
...room --

DOROTHY
Has it poppies on the wall....

MCU - Professor - Camera shooting past Dorothy

DOROTHY
...paper?

PROFESSOR
I said it had poppies on the wall paper! Eh
-- she's -- What's this? Why, she's --
she's putting her hand on her heart -- she's
-- she's dropping down on the....

CU -- Dorothy reacts -- Camera shooting Professor -- he speaks -- exits
right --

PROFESSOR
...bed.

DOROTHY
Oh, no -- no!

PROFESSOR
That's all -- the Crystal's gone dark.

DOROTHY
Oh, you....

MCS -- Dorothy and Professor -- Dorothy jumps up -- picks up her basket --
goes to b.g. --

DOROTHY
...you don't suppose she could really be
sick, do you? Oh -- Oh, I've got to go home
right away!

PROFESSOR
But -- what's this? I thought you were
going along with me.

DOROTHY
Oh, no, no, I have to get to her right....

MCS -- Dorothy picks up Toto -- CAMERA PANS as she comes forward down
steps -- she speaks to Toto -- reacts -- CAMERA PANS left as she runs to
b.g. -- picks up suitcase -- puts Toto to ground -- both run up hill in
b.g. -- wind blowing leaves around --
DOROTHY
...away! Come on, Toto! Oh, what'll I do?
If we go home, they'll send you to the
Sheriff. And if we don't, Aunt Em may --
well, she may die! I know what I'll do -
I'll give you to Hunk. He'll watch out for
you. But we've got to hurry. Goodbye,
Professor Marvel -- and thanks a lot!

MLS -- Professor comes out of wagon -- CAMERA PANS him left to horse --
wind blowing -- Professor looks around -- starts out left with horse --

PROFESSOR
Better get under cover, Sylvester --
there's a storm blowing up -- a whopper, to
speak in the vernacular of the peasantry.
Poor little kid -- I hope she gets home all
right.

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

MS -- Farm Yard -- chickens fly down into yard -- run to b.g. toward barn
-- wind blowing weeds and dust -- CAMERA PANS up -- Uncle Henry runs
forward -- speaks to Hunk -- Hunk exits into barn at left -- Uncle Henry
comes forward -- CAMERA TRUCKS back to Hickory working on wind machine --
they speak -- then hurry to b.g. -- Zeke in b.g. runs forward -- Hickory
exits into barn --

UNCLE HENRY
Hunk, get them horses loose! Where's
Hickory. Hickory! Hickory! Doggone it!
Hick --

HICKORY o.s.
Right here.

UNCLE HENRY
Hey, what are you doing there?

HICKORY
This is my chance! The cyclone is coming.
Let me show you what my machine can do!
You see, it goes --

UNCLE HENRY
Doggone you! Help Hunk get them horses
loose!

HICKORY
All right - you'll be sorry.

UNCLE HENRY
Go on, hurry up! Hurry up, I tell you!

LS -- Zeke points up to sky -- Hunk and others drive horses out of barn --

ZEKE
She's here -- it's a twister!

ELS -- The Gale Farm -- Cyclone approaching --

MLS -- Aunt Em runs out of house -- cups hands to her mouth -- calls o.s.
-- runs to b.g. to corner of house -- calls o.s. --
AUNT EM
Dorothy! Dorothy!

MLS -- Dorothy and Toto near fence -- Dorothy looks to b.g. to house --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Drama"]

Summary Dorothy seeks the Professor's aid, discovering Aunt Em's illness. Amidst a looming storm, she embarks on a journey home, driven by love and determination.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Mystery
Tension

Weaknesses

Some dialogue could be more impactful

Critique

The scene with Professor Marvel using the crystal ball to show Dorothy a vision of her Aunt Em is emotionally impactful and sets up Dorothy's motivation to return home. However, the dialogue between Dorothy and the Professor could be more engaging and dynamic to enhance the emotional connection between the characters.
The transition from Dorothy realizing her Aunt Em may be sick to her sudden decision to rush home feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more build-up and emotional depth. This would make Dorothy's urgency to return home more believable and impactful.
The visual descriptions in the scene are effective in setting the tone and atmosphere, particularly with the use of the crystal ball and the wind blowing leaves around. However, more attention to visual details could enhance the emotional impact of Dorothy's realization about her Aunt Em's condition.
The scene effectively introduces a sense of impending danger with the storm approaching, but the urgency of the situation could be heightened through more intense visual and auditory cues to create a more suspenseful atmosphere.
Overall, the scene effectively establishes Dorothy's emotional journey and sets up the next phase of the story, but could benefit from more nuanced character interactions and a deeper exploration of Dorothy's emotional turmoil.

Suggestions

Consider adding more depth to the dialogue between Dorothy and the Professor to enhance the emotional connection between the characters.
Build up Dorothy's realization about her Aunt Em's condition more gradually to make her decision to rush home feel more organic and emotionally resonant.
Enhance the visual descriptions in the scene to create a more immersive and atmospheric setting that complements the emotional beats of the story.
Intensify the sense of impending danger with the storm approaching by incorporating more visual and auditory cues to create a more suspenseful atmosphere.
Explore more nuanced character interactions and delve deeper into Dorothy's emotional turmoil to add layers to the scene and enhance the emotional impact.

Scene 7 - Dorothy's Journey to Munchkinland

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 9
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 6

LS -- Uncle Henry -- Hunk -- Hickory and Zeke -- they turn horse loose --
it runs out right --

UNCLE HENRY
Come on -- everybody in the storm cellar!

MLS -- Dorothy and Toto moving forward against the wind -- weeds and
sticks blowing thru -- Dorothy stops -- picks up Toto --

MLS -- Aunt Em on porch -- Uncle Henry -- Hunk -- Zeke and Hickory run in
-- Aunt Em calls o.s. again -- then all start into storm cellar --

AUNT EM
Henry! Henry! I can't find Dorothy! She's
somewhere out in the storm! Dorothy!

MLS -- Dorothy carrying Toto -- pushes gate open -- makes her way thru
wind -- CAMERA PANS right as she goes up on to porch of house -- chair and
things blow off the porch -- Dorothy opens screen door -- the door blows
off -- Dorothy exits into house --

MLS -- Zeke and Hunk exit into storm cellar -- close the cellar door --

MLS -- Dorothy in Living room -- CAMERA PANS left as she runs across room
-- calls o.s. -- TRUCKS back as she hurries forward to kitchen -- then
exits door left --

DOROTHY
Auntie Em! Auntie Em!

ELS -- The Gale farm -- the Cyclone approaching --

MS -- Dorothy sitting on edge of bed -- holding Toto in her arms -- the
window blows loose -- hits Dorothy on the head -- she falls to floor -
then gets up dazed - sits on edge of bed - Toto jumps up near her - she
lies back on bed --

ELS - The Gale Farm - Cyclone hits it - swirling dust circles house -

ELS - The house spinning up thru dust -

ELS - The house spinning up thru dust - other wreckage flying thru -

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

CU - Dorothy lying on bed - opens her eyes - looks around -

MS - Dorothy and Toto on bed - Dorothy sits up - CAMERA TRUCKS back as she
sits up - looks out window - sees trees, furniture, etc. flying thru -

MS - Dorothy looking out window - turns - speaks to Toto -

DOROTHY
We're not on the ground, Toto!

MLS - Shooting thru window - Chicken coop flies thru - then a little old
lady sitting ie rocking chair - knitting -

MS - Dorothy and Toto - Dorothy reacts -
MLS - Shooting thru window - Cow floats thru - Cow mooing -

MS - Dorothy and Toto - Toto barks - jumps down off the bed - (Cow o.s.
mooing)

MCS - Toto crawls under bed -

MS -- Dorothy sitting on bed -- looking out window to b.g. -- reacts as
various things float thru -- Two men in row boat float in -- both tip
their hats to Dorothy -- Dorothy waves to them --

MCS - Toto looks out from under bed - Cow moos o.s. - he darts back under
the bed -

MLS - Shooting through window - Cow floats thru -

MCS - Dorothy rises - looks o.s. -

MLS - Shooting thru window - tree floats thru -

MCS -- Dorothy reacts -- turns --

DOROTHY
We must be up inside....

MCS -- Toto looks out from under bed --

DOROTHY o.s.
...the cyclone.

CS - Dorothy looking o.s. out window - reacts - CAMERA PANS as she sits on
edge of bed -

MS -- Dorothy -- seated on edge of bed -- looking out window -- Miss Gulch
floats in -- riding her bicycle -- Dorothy reacts -- looks down to Toto --
Miss Gulch moves in closer to window -- her bicycle changes to broomstick
-- her clothes into the flying robe and pointed hat --

MCS - Dorothy looking o.s. - reacts - puts her hands over her eyes -

MLS -- Dorothy lies face down on the bed -- Miss Gulch floating thru in
b.g. -- disappears --

MS -- the swirling funnel of the cyclone -- the house spins in apart from
the cyclone --

MLS - Dorothy holding Toto in her arms - throws herself down on the bed -
screams -

ELS - The spinning house - the cyclone whirling in the background -
(Dorothy screaming)

MLS -- Dorothy and Toto lying on bed -- house spinning -- Dorothy
screams --

ELS - The house whirling down thru dust - exits lower right -

ELS -- The house whirls in at top -- floats down thru --

ELS -- The house floating down thru clouds --

MLS -- Dorothy and Toto lying on bed -- the house crashes to ground --
Dorothy screams -- she looks around -- then gets up off the bed -- goes to
b.g. -- picks up the basket -- opens door --
MCS -- Dorothy walks forward -- looking around o.s. -- CAMERA PANS as she
walks to right f.g. -- exits --

Int. Farm House -- MCS -- Dorothy enters from l.f.g. and opens the door
to reveal Munchkinland -- CAMERA BOOMS forward through the door and around
to the right -- to shoot down on FULL SHOT of Civic Center of the Munchkin
Village -- Dorothy looks around confused by it all --

MLS -- Dorothy with Toto in her arms looks about the Village and speaks --
Munchkins rise before camera in f.g. and watch her --

DOROTHY
Toto -- I've a feeling we're not in Kansas
anymore.

CS -- Dorothy with Toto in her arms -- looks about and speaks --

DOROTHY
We must be over the rainbow!

LS -- Dorothy puts Toto down to the ground -- turns to the b.g. -- reacts
and backs slowly toward the camera -- exits right-

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

MLS -- Glinda looks o.s. to the right to Dorothy --

MCU -- Dorothy look o.s. to l.f.g. -- reacts -- speaks --

DOROTHY
Now I -- I know we're not in Kansas.

MLS -- Glinda -- CAMERA PANS her right to Dorothy and Toto -- CAMERA
TRUCKS forward -- they speak --

GLINDA
Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?

DOROTHY
Who, me? Why, I'm not a witch at all. I'm
Dorothy Gale from Kansas.

GLINDA
Oh! Well....

CS -- Toto -- Dorothy's feet in b.g. --

GLINDA o.s.
...is that the Witch?

DOROTHY
Who, Toto?

MCS -- Glinda and Dorothy -- they speak and look o.s. to l.f.g.--

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Drama"]

Summary A cyclone strikes the Gale farm, separating Dorothy from her family and friends. The cyclone lifts her house into the air, carrying her to Munchkinland. There, she meets Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, who welcomes her to the magical land.

Strengths

Effective world-building
Engaging introduction of magical elements
Foreshadowing of future conflicts

Weaknesses

Limited character development in supporting characters
Some dialogue feels exposition-heavy

Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scene, making it feel disjointed.
There is a lack of emotional depth in Dorothy's reaction to the cyclone and the sudden appearance of Miss Gulch as the Wicked Witch.
The visual effects of the cyclone and the transformation of Miss Gulch into the Wicked Witch could be more impactful and visually engaging.
The dialogue between Dorothy and Glinda feels rushed and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to establish their relationship and the significance of their meeting.
The pacing of the scene is uneven, with abrupt shifts in tone and action.

Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition from the previous scene to establish continuity and flow.
Enhance Dorothy's emotional reaction to the cyclone and the appearance of the Wicked Witch to create a more engaging and immersive experience for the audience.
Work on improving the visual effects of the cyclone and the transformation of Miss Gulch into the Wicked Witch to make them more visually striking and impactful.
Develop the dialogue between Dorothy and Glinda to establish their relationship and the importance of their meeting in the narrative.
Focus on refining the pacing of the scene to ensure a more consistent and engaging progression of events.

Scene 8 - Dorothy Meets Glinda and the Munchkins

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

DOROTHY
Toto's my dog.
GLINDA
Well, I'm a little muddled. The Munchkins
called me because a new witch has just
dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of the
East. And there's the house, and here you
are, and that's all...

MCS -- Wicked Witch of the East's feet protruding from under the farm
house --

GLINDA o.s.
...that's left of the Wicked Witch of the
East.

MCU -- Dorothy looks o.s. to l.f.g. -- reacts --

GLINDA o.s.
And so what the Munchkins want to know...

MCU -- Glinda looks o.s. to Dorothy and speaks --

GLINDA
...is, are you a good witch, or a bad witch?

MCU -- Dorothy looks to l.f.g. -- speaks -- reacts to noise o.s. --

DOROTHY
Oh, but I've already told you, I'm not a
witch at all -- witches are old and ugly.
What was that?

MCU -- Glinda looks to r.f.g. and speaks --

GLINDA
The Munchkins. They're laughing because I
am a witch. I'm Glinda, the Witch of the
North.

MCU -- Dorothy looks to l.f.g. -- reacts -- speaks -- curtsies --

DOROTHY
You are! Oh, I beg your pardon! But I've
never heard of a beautiful....

MCU -- Glinda looks to r.f.g. and speaks --

DOROTHY o.s.
...witch before.

GLINDA
Only bad witches are ugly.

MCS -- Glinda and Dorothy -- they speak -- Dorothy reacts to noise o.s. --
CAMERA TRUCKS back -- Munchkins enter from b.g. behind flowers -- Glinda
sings --

GLINDA
The Munchkins are happy because you have
freed them from the Wicked Witch of the
East.

DOROTHY
Oh. But, if you please -- what are
Munchkins?
GLINDA
The little people who live in this land --
it's Munchkinland, and you are their
national heroine, my dear. It's all right
-- you may all come out and thank her. It's
all right now - you may all come out.

GLINDA
(sings)
Come out, come out, wherever you are

And meet the young lady who fell from a
star.

LS -- Dorothy and Glinda -- Toto with them -- Munchkins in f.g. -- others
enter in b.g. -- Glinda leads Dorothy toward the b.g. as she sings --
CAMERA BOOMS up and forward --

GLINDA
(sings)
She fell from the sky, she fell very far.
And Kansas she says is the name of the star.

MLS -- Munchkins -- one rises from manhole in street -- they sing and move
toward the r.f.g. --

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
Kansas she says is the name of the star.

LS -- Dorothy, Glinda and Toto with them -- Munchkins watch them as they
move to pond -- Glinda sings --

GLINDA
(sings)
She brings you good news. Or haven't you
heard?
When she fell out of Kansas, a miracle
occurred.

MCS -- Glinda and Dorothy standing by the pond -- Dorothy sings --
Munchkins in b.g. --

DOROTHY
(sings)
It really was no miracle. What happened was
just this:
The wind began to switch -- the house to
pitch
And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch.
Just then, the witch -- to satisfy an itch --
Went flying on her broomstick thumbing for...

MLS -- Munchkin dances forward and sings -- others behind him move to him
and sing --

DOROTHY o.s.
(sings)
...a hitch.

A MUNCHKIN
And oh, what happened then was rich!
SEVERAL MUNCHKINS
The house began to pitch
The kitchen took a slitch

MCS -- Munchkins -- CAMERA TRUCKS along past Munchkins as they sing --

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
It landed on the Wicked Witch
In the middle of a ditch
Which was not a healthy situation
For the Wicked Witch.

LS -- Munchkins as they dance and sing -- CAMERA BOOMS back entering
Glinda and Dorothy at right --

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
The house began to pitch
The kitchen took a slitch
It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle
of a ditch
Which
Was not a healthy....

LS -- Carriage drawn by ponies comes forward -- CAMERA TRUCKS back before
it -- Munchkins gather around -- Dorothy and Glinda at right -- Munchkins
sing --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Musical","Adventure"]

Summary After Dorothy's house kills the Wicked Witch of the East, Glinda, the Witch of the North, arrives and explains that Dorothy is not a witch and has freed the Munchkins. Dorothy is surprised to meet a beautiful witch, while Glinda explains that only bad witches are ugly. Glinda leads Dorothy to meet the Munchkins, who express their gratitude through song and dance. They celebrate Dorothy's victory over the Wicked Witch and welcome her as their national heroine.

Strengths

Magical atmosphere
Engaging introduction of key characters
Musical element adds to the whimsy

Weaknesses

Limited conflict
Low stakes

Critique

The scene does a good job of introducing Glinda, the Witch of the North, and establishing her as a positive and helpful character in contrast to the Wicked Witch of the East.
The dialogue between Dorothy and Glinda effectively conveys Dorothy's confusion and Glinda's calm demeanor, setting the tone for their interaction.
The introduction of the Munchkins and their celebration of Dorothy as their national heroine adds a sense of wonder and excitement to the scene.
The song and dance sequence with the Munchkins adds a whimsical and magical element to the scene, enhancing the fantastical nature of the story.
Overall, the scene effectively sets up Dorothy's journey in Oz and establishes key relationships and dynamics between the characters.

Suggestions

Consider adding more visual descriptions to enhance the magical and fantastical elements of the scene.
Explore ways to further develop the interaction between Dorothy and Glinda to deepen their relationship and provide more insight into their characters.
Ensure that the song and dance sequence with the Munchkins flows seamlessly with the rest of the scene and adds to the overall narrative.
Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the world of Oz and enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
Continue to build on the themes of friendship, courage, and self-discovery that are central to Dorothy's journey.

Scene 9 - Celebration in Munchkin City

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 9
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
....sitch-
Uation for
The Wicked Witch,
Who
Began to twitch
And was reduced
To just a stitch
Of what was once....

MS -- Glinda and Dorothy -- Munchkins in b.g. -- Dorothy starts to move
toward the l.f.g. --

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
...The Wicked....

LS -- Carriage, Glinda, Dorothy and Munchkins -- Dorothy moves to the
carriage and is helped in -- Munchkins sing and dance --

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
...Witch!

MS -- Dorothy carriage facing Munchkins in b.g. -- one steps forward from
crowd and speaks -- another follows and speaks -- Dorothy turns to f.g. as
Glinda speaks o.s. --

MUNCHKIN NO. 1
We thank you very sweetly
For doing it so neatly.
MUNCHKIN NO. 2
You've killed her so completely
That we thank you very sweetly.

GLINDA o.s.
Let the joyous news be spread

MCS -- Glinda looks to f.g. and speaks -- Munchkins in b.g. --

GLINDA
The Wicked Old Witch at last is dead!

LS -- Dorothy in carriage -- Glinda standing on dais at left -- carriage
moves toward b.g. followed by procession of soldiers -- CAMERA BOOMS
forward as carriage turns and comes toward f.g. -- Munchkins sing and
dance --

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.
Which old Witch?
The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.
Wake up, you sleepy head.
Rub your eyes
Get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked...

MLS -- Dorothy in carriage -- CAMERA PANS right slightly with her -- she
exits right as procession of soldiers enter and march to right -- CAMERA
TRUCKS back --

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
...Witch is dead!
She's gone where the Goblins go
Below...Below...Below
Yo -- ho, let's open up and sing
And ring the bells out.
Ding Dong! The merry-oh!
Sing it high
Sing it....

LS -- Carriage with Munchkins following -- CAMERA TRUCKS back slightly as
carriage comes forward to steps at right --

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
...low
Let them know
The Wicked Witch is dead!

MLS -- Three Heralds move forward from building -- Mayor enters and comes
forward followed by Barrister and City Fathers -- CAMERA BOOMS back over
Dorothy in carriage in f.g. -- Mayor moves to carriage -- Dorothy steps
from the carriage and Mayor leads her toward the b.g. --

MCS -- Dorothy and Mayor -- Mayor leads her to Barrister and City Fathers
-- turns and speaks -- Barrister and City Fathers and Mayor sing --

MAYOR
As Mayor of the Munchkin City
In the County of the Land of Oz
I welcome you most regally
BARRISTER
But we've got to verify it legally
To see...

MAYOR
To see?

BARRISTER
If she...

MAYOR
If she?

BARRISTER
Is morally, ethic'ly

FATHER NO. 1
Spiritually, physically

FATHER NO. 2
Positively, absolutely

ALL OF GROUP
Undeniably and reliably
Dead!

MCS -- Glinda on dais of fountain -- she looks o.s. to f.g. and smiles --

MLS -- Coroner moves up steps toward the r.f.g. -- CAMERA PANS right
slightly as he moves to Mayor and Dorothy -- unrolls scroll and sings --
scroll reads: CERTIFICATE OF DEATH --

CORONER
As Coroner, I must aver
I thoroughly examined her.
And she's not only merely dead,
She's really, most sincerely dead.

MLS -- Dorothy, Mayor, Barrister and City Fathers -- Mayor steps forward
and looks to the f.g. and sings --

MAYOR
Then this is a day of Independence
For all the Munchkins and their descendants!

BARRISTER
If any!

MAYOR
Yes, let the joyous news be spread.

LS -- Mayor, Dorothy, Barrister, City Fathers and Munchkins gathered at
steps -- Mayor speaks -- Munchkins cheer and dance --

MAYOR
The Wicked Old Witch at last is dead!

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
Ding Dong! The Witch is dead.
Which old witch?
The Wicked Witch!
MLS -- Munchkins move up steps to the left -- CAMERA BOOMS up with them
and holds on kids sleeping in nest -- BOOMS on and then down as Munchkins
come forward from between huts and sing and dance --

Genres: ["Musical","Fantasy"]

Summary Dorothy arrives at Munchkin City, where the Munchkins rejoice over the demise of the Wicked Witch. Glinda confirms the Witch's death, and the Mayor declares a day of independence. The Munchkins celebrate with singing, dancing, and a scroll reading by the Coroner. The scene culminates in a festive celebration of liberation.

Strengths

Lively musical number
Effective introduction of key characters
Establishment of central conflict

Weaknesses

Limited character development in the scene
Minimal dialogue outside of the musical number

Critique

The scene lacks depth and emotional impact, considering the significant event of the Wicked Witch's death. There is a missed opportunity to explore the aftermath of this event and its implications on the characters and the world of Oz.
The dialogue and interactions between the characters feel superficial and lack substance. There is a lack of meaningful exchanges that could have added depth to the scene.
The song and dance numbers, while entertaining, overshadow the gravity of the Wicked Witch's death. The celebratory tone may undermine the seriousness of the situation.
The scene feels rushed and lacks moments of reflection or introspection from Dorothy or the other characters. It would benefit from slowing down the pace to allow for more emotional resonance.
There is a missed opportunity to delve into the internal conflicts of the characters, especially Dorothy, after such a significant event. Exploring their emotions and reactions could add layers to the scene.

Suggestions

Add moments of reflection and introspection for the characters to process the death of the Wicked Witch and its impact on them.
Enhance the dialogue to include more meaningful exchanges that reveal the characters' thoughts and emotions.
Consider toning down the celebratory tone of the scene to better reflect the gravity of the Wicked Witch's death.
Slow down the pace of the scene to allow for more emotional resonance and depth.
Explore the internal conflicts of the characters, especially Dorothy, to add layers to the scene and enhance character development.

Scene 10 - Welcome to Munchkinland and the Wrath of the Witch

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 6

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!
Wake up, you sleepy head!
Rub your eyes,
Get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead!
She's gone where the Goblins go
Below...below...below.
Yo ho, let's open up and sing,
And ring the bells out.
Ding Dong! The merry-oh!
Sing it high,
Sing it low.
Let them know
The Wicked Witch is dead!

LS -- Munchkin soldiers parade and march -- CAMERA BOOMS back and up as
they come forward -- Dorothy, Mayor and others entered on steps at right --
others in b.g. --

MLS -- Soldiers lined up before steps -- three tots move in through line
of soldiers and CAMERA PANS them right entering Dorothy standing on steps
-- they dance and sing -- exit left -- three tough kids come forward --

THREE TOTS
(sing)
We represent the Lullaby League, the Lullaby
League,
The Lullaby League
And in the name of the Lullaby League
We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland.

MCS -- Three Tough Kids look to r.f.g. and sing and dance-

THREE TOUGH KIDS
(sing)
We represent the Lollypop Guild, the
Lollypop Guild,
The Lollypop Guild
And in the name of the Lollypop Guild

MLS -- Three Tough Kids sing and hand Lollypop to Dorothy standing on
steps at right -- they move to other Munchkins in b.g. -- CAMERA BOOMS up
as they come forward and sing --

THREE TOUGH KIDS
(sing)
We wish to welcome you to Munchkinland.

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
We welcome you to Munchkinland
Tra la la la la la
Tra la la tra la la
Tra la la la la la la

MS -- Dorothy standing with Mayor, Barrister and City Fathers -- she turns
from one to the other as they sing
MAYOR
From now on you'll be history

BARRISTER
You'll be hist...

CITY FATHER
You'll be hist...

MAYOR
You'll be history

GROUP
And we will glorify your name

MAYOR
You'll be a bust...

BARRISTER
Be a bust...

CITY FATHER
Be a bust...

GROUP
In the hall of fame!

LS -- Dorothy, Mayor and City Fathers -- camera shooting past Munchkins in
f.g. -- CAMERA BOOMS with them as they come forward -- Glinda enters --
Munchkins gather before Glinda and City Fathers and Dorothy and sing --
smoke cloud appears and Witch enters -- Munchkins react

MUNCHKINS
(sing)
Tra la la la la
Tra la la tra la la
Tra la la la la la.. . . . . .

CS -- Witch -- looks o.s. to Munchkins -- Munchkins in b.g. -- react and
run -- CAMERA BOOMS left with Witch to farm house -- she looks at Witch of
the East's feet protruding from under the farm house --

Ext. Civic Center of Munchkin Village -- MCS -- Dorothy and Glinda --
Dorothy holding Toto as she looks o.s. to left f.g. -- is frightened --
speaks with Glinda --

DOROTHY
I thought you said she was dead.

GLINDA
That was her sister -- the Wicked Witch of
the East. This is the Wicked Witch of the
West. And she's worse than the other one
was.

MS -- The Wicked Witch turns away from the farm house -- CAMERA PANS,
TRUCKS right with her as she goes to Dorothy and Glinda -- the Munchkins
are prostrate on the ground in b.g. -- The Witch speaks with Glinda and
Dorothy --

WITCH
Who killed my sister? Who killed the Witch
of the East? Was it you? Answer me!
GLINDA
Leave her alone!

WITCH
You stay out of this! I'm here for
vengeance! So it was you, was it? You killed
her,....

CS -- Dorothy and Glinda -- Dorothy speaks to the Witch o.s. in f.g. --

WITCH
...didn't you?

DOROTHY
No -- No! It was an accident! I didn't mean
to kill anybody!....

MCU -- Witch -- speaks to Dorothy o.s. -- waves her broomstick about --

DOROTHY o.s.
...Really I didn't!

WITCH
Didn't mean it, eh? Accident, eh? Well, my
little pretty, I can cause accidents, too
-- and this is how I do it!

GLINDA o.s.
Aren't you forget-....

MS -- Witch, Dorothy and Glinda -- Munchkins on the ground in b.g. -- The
Witch reacts as Glinda speaks - CAMERA TRUCKS left with her as she turns,
goes back to the wrecked farm house --

GLINDA
...ting the ruby slippers?

Genres: ["Musical","Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary Dorothy is welcomed to Munchkinland by the overjoyed Munchkins, who celebrate the demise of the Wicked Witch of the East. During their revelry, Glinda appears and cautions Dorothy about the Wicked Witch of the West, who seeks revenge for her sister's death. The Witch promptly arrives, confronts Dorothy, and vows retribution. Utilizing her broomstick, she conjures a tornado, placing Dorothy and Glinda in peril.

Strengths

Lively musical number
Introduction of new antagonist
Building tension and conflict

Weaknesses

Limited character development in this scene
Some dialogue may feel cliched or predictable

Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from the celebratory song and dance of the Munchkins to the sudden appearance of the Wicked Witch of the West, which disrupts the joyful atmosphere.
The introduction of the Lullaby League and Lollypop Guild characters feels disjointed and could be better integrated into the scene to flow more smoothly.
The dialogue between the Witch, Glinda, and Dorothy lacks depth and emotional impact, making the confrontation feel somewhat flat.
The visual descriptions of the scene are detailed but could benefit from more focus on the emotional reactions and interactions between the characters.
The pacing of the scene feels rushed, with quick transitions between different groups of characters and actions, which can be disorienting for the audience.

Suggestions

Consider adding more build-up to the entrance of the Wicked Witch of the West to create a more suspenseful and dramatic moment.
Integrate the Lullaby League and Lollypop Guild characters more seamlessly into the scene to enhance the cohesion of the overall narrative.
Enhance the dialogue between the Witch, Glinda, and Dorothy to add depth to their interactions and increase the emotional impact of the confrontation.
Focus on capturing the emotional reactions and expressions of the characters to convey the tension and stakes of the scene more effectively.
Adjust the pacing of the scene to allow for more breathing room between key moments, giving the audience time to process and connect with the unfolding events.

Scene 11 - The Ruby Slippers

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 7

WITCH
The slippers -- yes.....the slippers!

MS -- The Witch of the East's legs protruding from underneath the wrecked
house -- the ruby slippers disappear and the stockings are drawn back
under the house --

CS -- The Witch reacts as she looks down -- then turns, looks back to o.s.
f.g. -- speaks --

WITCH
They're gone!

MLS -- The Witch kneeling down by the house -- she rises, CAMERA TRUCKS
her right to Dorothy and Glinda -- Glinda stops her, points down to
Dorothy's feet --

WITCH
The ruby slippers! What have you done with
them? Give them back to me, or I'll ---

GLINDA
It's too late! There they....

CU -- The ruby slippers on Dorothy's feet -- Glinda's wand points to
them --
GLINDA o.s.
...are, and there they'll stay!

MCU -- Dorothy and Glinda -- Dorothy reacts as she looks down -- gasps as
she looks at the Witch o.s., then up at Glinda --

DOROTHY
Oh!

WITCH o.s.
Give me back my slippers!

MCU -- Witch speaks to Dorothy o.s.--

WITCH
I'm the only one that knows how to use them.
They're of no use to you! Give them back to
me!

MCU -- Dorothy and Glinda -- Glinda advises Dorothy --

WITCH o.s.
Give them back!

GLINDA
Keep tight inside of them -- their magic
must be very powerful, or she wouldn't want
them so badly!

MS -- The Witch rises, threatens Dorothy -- Glinda laughs, speaks -- the
Witch reacts, looks up o.s. -- then continues to threaten Dorothy --

WITCH
You stay out of this, Glinda, or I'll fix
you as well!

GLINDA
(laughs)
Oh, rubbish! You have no power here. Be
gone, before somebody drops a house on you,
too.

WITCH
Very well -- I'll bide my time -- and as
for you, my fine lady, it's true, I can't
attend to you here and now as I'd like, but
just try to stay out of my way....

MCU -- Witch threatens Dorothy o.s. in f.g. --

WITCH
... -- just try! I'll get you, my....

MCU -- Dorothy and Glinda -- Dorothy reacts as the Witch laughs o.s. --

WITCH o.s.
...pretty, and your little dog, too!
(laughs)

MLS -- The Witch backs away from Dorothy and Glinda as the CAMERA BOOMS
back -- she laughs menacingly -- the Munchkins hug the ground with fear --
the Witch disappears in a cloud of fire and smoke --

MCS -- Glinda and Dorothy -- Glinda speaks to the Munchkins o.s.
GLINDA
It's all right. You can get up -- she's
gone.

LS- The Munchkins all rise, start to move toward Glinda and Dorothy as
Glinda speaks to them --

GLINDA
It's all right. You can all get up.

MCS -- Glinda and Dorothy -- CAMERA PULLS back as Glinda speaks -- the
Munchkins enter, crowd about the two -- they bow as Glinda mentions the
Wizard of Oz - CAMERA TRUCKS to left as Glinda and Dorothy move down steps
of fountain dais -- Glinda instructs Dorothy, kisses her on the forehead --
CAMERA PANS Dorothy left as she walks through the Munchkins to the start
of the Yellow Brick Road --

GLINDA
Pooh -- what a smell of sulphur! I'm afraid
you've made rather a bad enemy of the Wicked
Witch of the West. The sooner you get out
of Oz altogether, the safer you'll sleep, my
dear.

DOROTHY
Oh, I'd give anything to get out of Oz
altogether -- but which is the way back to
Kansas? I can't go the way I came.

GLINDA
No -- that's true. The only person who might
know would be the great and wonderful Wizard
of Oz himself!

DOROTHY
The Wizard of Oz? Is he good or is he
wicked?

GLINDA
Oh, very good, but very mysterious. He
lives in the Emerald City, and that's a
long journey from here. Did you bring your
broomstick with you?

DOROTHY
No, I'm afraid I didn't.

GLINDA
Well, then, you'll have to walk. The
Munchkins will see you safely to the border
of Munchkinland. And remember, never let
those ruby slippers off your feet for a
moment, or you will be at the mercy of the
Wicked Witch of the West.

DOROTHY
But, how do I start for Emerald City?

GLINDA
It's always best to start at the beginning
-- and all you do is follow the Yellow Brick
Road.

CS -- Dorothy turns, starts to speak to Glinda o.s. in f.g. --
DOROTHY
But -- what happens if I ---

CS -- Glinda speaks to Dorothy o.s. in f.g. --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary After the Witch of the East's house falls on the Wicked Witch of the East, Dorothy discovers the ruby slippers on her feet. Glinda the Good Witch advises her to keep them on as they are powerful. The Witch of the West arrives and demands the slippers back, but Glinda tells her to leave. The Witch disappears in a cloud of fire and smoke, and Glinda tells the Munchkins it is safe to come out. Glinda then directs Dorothy to follow the Yellow Brick Road to the Emerald City to find the Wizard of Oz, who may be able to help her get back to Kansas.

Strengths

Introduction of key elements
Establishment of conflict
Building tension

Weaknesses

Limited character development
Some dialogue feels exposition-heavy

Critique

The scene effectively establishes the conflict between the Witch and Dorothy over the ruby slippers, creating tension and setting up future confrontations.
The dialogue between Glinda, the Witch, and Dorothy is engaging and helps to reveal the characters' motivations and dynamics.
The visual descriptions of the scene, such as the disappearing ruby slippers and the Witch disappearing in a cloud of fire and smoke, add depth and intrigue.
The transition from the celebratory tone of the previous scenes to the ominous threat of the Witch is well executed, creating a shift in the atmosphere.
The scene effectively sets up Dorothy's next steps on her journey by introducing the Wizard of Oz and emphasizing the importance of the ruby slippers.

Suggestions

Consider adding more physical actions or reactions to enhance the visual storytelling of the scene.
Explore opportunities to further develop the relationship between Glinda and Dorothy to deepen their connection and provide more emotional resonance.
Ensure that the dialogue remains concise and impactful, focusing on advancing the plot and revealing character motivations.
Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the magical world of Oz.
Continue to build suspense and intrigue by foreshadowing future conflicts and challenges that Dorothy will face on her journey.

Scene 12 - The Yellow Brick Road

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

GLINDA
Just follow the Yellow Brick Road.

CS -- Dorothy look up o.s., open-mouthed with astonishment -- she speaks --
CAMERA PANS down to her feet as she starts to follow the Yellow Brick Road
-- CAMERA PULLS back slightly as she walks around it -- the Mayor steps
in, speaks to her -- other Munchkins speak -- CAMERA PANS left with
Dorothy as she progresses along the road -- other Munchkins give her
advice --

DOROTHY
My -- ! People come and go so quickly here!
Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Follow the
Yellow Brick Road?

MAYOR
Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

1ST MUNCHKIN
Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

WOMAN
Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

BARRISTER
Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

ELS -- Shooting down from high set-up to Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road
-- the Munchkins all grouped along the border of the road -- CAMERA BOOMS
up as they sing while Dorothy walks around the road --

FIDDLERS
Follow the Yellow Brick Road.
Follow the Yellow Brick Road.
Follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

Follow the Yellow Brick
Follow the...

LS -- Dorothy comes forward down the Munchkin-lined Yellow Brick Road --
she dances, skips along -- CAMERA BOOMS rapidly back along the road ahead
of her -- Munchkins entered lined up along the road -- all greet her, then
follow her down the road -- the Five Fiddlers sing as they head the
procession -- Dorothy passes through the gates of Munchkinland and exits
to f.g. -- the Munchkins stop at the gates --
FIDDLERS
(sing)
...Yellow Brick
Follow the Yellow Brick Road.
You're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was.
If ever oh ever a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Oz
Is one because
Because, because, because, because,
because...
Because of the wonderful things he does....

ELS -- Dorothy dances down the Yellow Brick Road to the b.g. -- camera
shooting over the heads of the Munchkins in the f.g. as they sing to her --
she turns, waves to them -- they wave back and Dorothy continues on down
the road as the Munchkins cheer --

FIDDLERS
(sing)
You're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

ELS -- Ext. Cross Roads of Yellow Brick Road -- Dorothy and Toto come
forward along the road from b.g. - CAMERA BOOMS down to left as she pauses
in the center of the cross roads -- looks about, speaks --

DOROTHY
Follow the Yellow Brick Road? Follow the
Yellow....?

MCU -- Dorothy, puzzled as she looks about o.s. --

DOROTHY
Now which way do we go?

LS -- Dorothy standing in the center of cross roads -- a Scarecrow on a
pole in the cornfield at right -- he speaks, points to right -- Dorothy
whirls about and looks at him --

SCARECROW
That way is a very nice way.

CS -- Scarecrow, his arm pointing to right --

CU -- Dorothy, a bit frightened as she looks about o.s. - she speaks,
looks down at Toto as he barks o.s. --

DOROTHY
Who said that?

CU -- Toto barking at the Scarecrow o.s. --

MLS -- The Scarecrow in the field of corn -- Toto barks o.s. --

MCU - Dorothy looks down and speaks to Toto o.s. --

DOROTHY
Don't be silly, Toto. Scarecrows....
MLS -- The Scarecrow in field in b.g. -- camera shooting past Dorothy in
f.g. -- the Scarecrow speaks, points to left with his other arm --

DOROTHY
...don't talk.

SCARECROW
It's pleasant down that way, too.

CU -- Dorothy reacts, watches the Scarecrow o.s. -- speaks to Toto --
looks up as the Scarecrow speaks o.s.

DOROTHY
That's funny. Wasn't he pointing the other
way?

SCARECROW o.s.
Of course, people do....

MLS -- Scarecrow in field -- shooting past Dorothy in f.g. -- the
Scarecrow crosses his arms and points in both directions --

SCARECROW
...go both ways!

MCU -- Dorothy reacts, speaks as she starts forward --

DOROTHY
Why....

LS -- Dorothy steps forward to the cornfield as she speaks to the
Scarecrow -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward --

DOROTHY
...you did say something, didn't you?

CS- The Scarecrow shakes his head, then nods --

MLS -- Dorothy looking at the Scarecrow as he nods his head -- she speaks
to him --

DOROTHY
Are you doing that on purpose, or can't you
make up your mind?

MCU -- The Scarecrow explains -- shows his straw head --

SCARECROW
That's the trouble. I can't make up my
mind. I haven't got a brain -- only straw.

MCS -- Dorothy questions the Scarecrow o.s. in f.g. --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Musical","Adventure"]

Summary Dorothy travels down the Yellow Brick Road, meeting the Scarecrow

Strengths

Introduction of iconic elements like the Yellow Brick Road and the Scarecrow
Establishment of the main quest and character dynamics
Whimsical and hopeful tone that sets the stage for the fantastical world of Oz

Weaknesses

Low level of conflict and stakes
Limited emotional depth in this particular scene

Critique

The scene transitions smoothly from the celebratory atmosphere of Munchkinland to Dorothy's journey along the Yellow Brick Road, maintaining the whimsical and fantastical tone of the story.
The introduction of the Scarecrow adds a new dynamic to the scene, but the dialogue between Dorothy and the Scarecrow could be more engaging and impactful.
There is a lack of depth in the interaction between Dorothy and the Scarecrow, which could be improved by adding more emotional depth and character development.
The visual descriptions are vivid and help set the scene effectively, but there could be more attention to detail in capturing the magical and enchanting elements of the Land of Oz.
The transition from the celebratory mood of Munchkinland to the more introspective moment with Dorothy and the Scarecrow could be smoother to maintain the flow of the story.

Suggestions

Enhance the dialogue between Dorothy and the Scarecrow to make their interaction more engaging and meaningful.
Add more emotional depth to Dorothy's realization about the Scarecrow's lack of brain and his desire for one.
Incorporate more magical and fantastical elements into the setting to enhance the enchanting atmosphere of the Land of Oz.
Consider adding more visual cues or cues from other characters to emphasize the significance of Dorothy's encounter with the Scarecrow.
Ensure a seamless transition between the celebratory tone of Munchkinland and the more introspective moment with Dorothy and the Scarecrow.

Scene 13 - The Scarecrow's Dilemma

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

DOROTHY
How can you talk if you haven't got a....

MCU -- Scarecrow speaks to Dorothy o.s.in f.g. --

DOROTHY o.s.
...brain?
SCARECROW
I don't know. But some people without
brains do an awful lot of talking, don't
they?

MCS -- Dorothy nods, speaks --

DOROTHY
Yes, I guess you're right.

MLS -- Dorothy steps over the fence and into the cornfield -- speaks as
she steps up to the Scarecrow -- CAMERA STARTS forward --

DOROTHY
Well, we haven't really met properly, have
we?

MCU -- Scarecrow --

SCARECROW
Why, no.

CS -- Dorothy curtsies, speaks --

DOROTHY
How do you do?

CS -- Scarecrow nods, speaks --

SCARECROW
How do you do?

CS -- Dorothy speaks --

DOROTHY
Very well, thank you.

MLS -- Dorothy standing in front of the Scarecrow -- the Scarecrow
complains about his position --

SCARECROW
Oh, I'm not feeling at all well. You see,
it's very tedious being stuck up here all
day long with a pole up your back.

MCU -- Dorothy --

DOROTHY
Oh, dear -- that must be terribly
uncomfortable. Can't you get down?

MLS -- Scarecrow on pole -- Dorothy standing in front of him -- they speak
-- she moves around to the back of the pole --

SCARECROW
Down? No, you see, I'm -- Well, -- I'm --

DOROTHY
Oh, well, here -- let me help you.

SCARECROW
Oh, that's very kind of you -- very kind.
CS -- Dorothy examining the back of the Scarecrow as she tries to unfasten
him --

DOROTHY
Well, oh, dear -- I don't quite see....

MCU -- The Scarecrow reacts, looks down at Dorothy o.s.

DOROTHY o.s.
...how I can --

SCARECROW
Of course, I'm not bright about doing
things, but if you'll just....

CS -- Dorothy starts to follow the Scarecrow's directions --

SCARECROW o.s.
...bend the nail down in the back, maybe
I'll slip off and...

DOROTHY
Oh....

MLS -- Dorothy turns the nail and the Scarecrow falls to the ground --

DOROTHY
...yes.

SCARECROW
Ohhhh --

DOROTHY
Ohh!

MS -- The Scarecrow falls into scene -- Dorothy enters, questions him as
he puts back some straw into his coat that had dropped out -- the
Scarecrow rises, starts to whirl about --

SCARECROW
Whhhooops! Ha-ha -- there goes some of me
again!

DOROTHY
Oh -- does it hurt you?

SCARECROW
Oh, no -- I just keep picking it up and
putting it back in again.

DOROTHY
Ohhh --

SCARECROW
My, it's good to be....

MLS -- Dorothy screams as the Scarecrow whirls about and falls over the
cornfield fence -- she rushes to him -- the CAMERA TRUCKS forward as she
kneels beside him -- they speak --

SCARECROW
...free!
DOROTHY
Oh! Oh! Ohhh!

SCARECROW
Did I scare you?

DOROTHY
No, No -- I -- I just thought you hurt
yourself.

MCU -- Scarecrow -- shooting past Dorothy in right f.g.

SCARECROW
But I didn't scare you?

MCU -- Dorothy -- shooting past the Scarecrow in left f.g. --

DOROTHY
No -- of course not.

MCU -- The Scarecrow reacts, speaks -- shooting past Dorothy in the right
f.g. --

SCARECROW
I didn't think so.

MCS -- The Scarecrow and Dorothy seated by fence -- a crow flies in from
left and alights on the Scarecrow's shoulder --

MCU -- Dorothy reacts as she sees the crow o.s. --

SCARECROW o.s.
Boo! Scat!

MCS -- Scarecrow and Dorothy -- the crow hops to the Scarecrow's shoulder,
picks up some of the Scarecrow's straw and flies away with it -- Scarecrow
speaks to Dorothy --

SCARECROW
Boo! You see, I can't even scare a crow!
They come from miles....

MCU -- Dorothy listening --

SCARECROW o.s.
...around just to eat in my field and laugh
in my face!

MCU -- The Scarecrow --

SCARECROW
Oh, I'm a failure, because I haven't got a
brain.

MCU -- Dorothy reacts, speaks --

DOROTHY
Well, what would you do with a brain if you
had one?

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary Dorothy meets the Scarecrow, who is stuck on a pole. She helps him down, but he falls to the ground. The Scarecrow is initially disoriented but quickly regains his composure. A crow flies in and steals some of the Scarecrow's straw. The Scarecrow is upset that he can't even scare a crow. Dorothy asks him what he would do with a brain if he had one.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Introduction of key character
Setting up the quest for the Wizard of Oz

Weaknesses

Low level of conflict
Limited emotional impact

Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose. It feels disjointed and lacks a strong narrative flow.
The dialogue between Dorothy and the Scarecrow feels forced and unnatural at times, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
The physical actions described in the scene are not clearly depicted, leading to confusion about the characters' movements and interactions.
The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and character actions.
There is a lack of emotional depth in the scene, making it challenging for the audience to empathize with the characters' experiences.

Suggestions

Focus on developing a clear objective or goal for the scene to drive the characters' interactions and dialogue.
Work on refining the dialogue to make it more natural and engaging, allowing the characters' personalities to shine through.
Provide clearer descriptions of the characters' physical movements and interactions to improve the scene's visual clarity.
Consider adding more emotional depth to the scene by exploring the characters' internal thoughts and feelings.
Enhance the scene by incorporating sensory details to create a more immersive and vivid reading experience.

Scene 14 - The Scarecrow's Dream of a Brain

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

MCS -- Scarecrow and Dorothy -- shot favoring the Scarecrow -- they speak
-- he begins to sing -- CAMERA PULLS back as he rolls down to the Yellow
Brick Road -- Dorothy rises, moves to him -- holds him up as he starts to
fall --
SCARECROW
Do? Why, if I had a brain, I could --
(sings)
I could while away the hours,
Conferrin' with the flowers,
Consultin' with the rain.
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.
I'd unravel every riddle
For any individ'le
In trouble or in pain.

CS -- Dorothy holds the Scarecrow as she sings -- shot favoring Dorothy --

DOROTHY
(sings)
With the thoughts you'll be thinkin'
You could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain.

MCS -- Dorothy holding the Scarecrow as he sings -- he jumps, whirls about
-- CAMERA TRUCKS forward as he goes into a sitting position, then PANS up
with him as he rises beside Dorothy, continues to sing --

SCARECROW
(sings)
Oh, I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I never thunk
before,
And then I'd sit -- and think some more.
I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry...

MCS - Scarecrow and Dorothy - she watches as he sings, dances about - he
whirls, jigs about - falls to his knees - Dorothy reacts - CAMERA TRUCKS
forward as he dances back up the Yellow Brick Road - then PULLS back as he
comes forward to Dorothy again - he dances to left to the cornfield -
CAMERA PANS left - he falls over the fence, then rolls back under it as
Dorothy rushes to help him - he reacts, sits on the curb of the road -

SCARECROW
(sings)
...Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain!

MCS - The Scarecrow seated on curb of road as Dorothy looks down at him -
CAMERA PULLS back as he feels about his coat - Dorothy points to some of
his straw on the road - a crow flies into the scene and lands near the
straw - the Scarecrow reacts -

MCS - The Scarecrow trembles with fear as Dorothy tries to comfort him -

MCU - The crow picks up the straw and flies up --

MLS - Dorothy and the Scarecrow react as the crow flies out to left with
the straw in his mouth - CAMERA BOOMS up to left as the Scarecrow rises,
goes to the fence and shakes his fist at the crow flying over the
cornfield in the b.g. -

MLS - The Scarecrow dances back to right along the road as the CAMERA
PULLS back, PANS right with him - Dorothy rushes to him, stops him and
points o.s. to left -

LS - The crow lands in the cornfield -

MCS - Dorothy and the Scarecrow looking o.s. to left - the Scarecrow
reacts, assures Dorothy - then the CAMERA PULLS back as he dances forward,
gains momentum and runs out to left -

LS - The Scarecrow runs to left, makes a big jump over the cornfield as
the CAMERA PANS with him -

MLS - The Scarecrow jumps in from right and lands in the cornfield -
several crows fly out of the corn -

MS - Dorothy runs forward to the fence, reacts as she looks o.s. to f.g. -

MS - The Scarecrow moves to right through the corn stalks - CAMERA TRUCKS
right - he bends down, finds his straw and stuffs it back into his coat -

MLS - The Scarecrow runs forward, jumps into the air and flies out to
right f.g. -

LS - The Scarecrow soars over the field to the road - Dorothy waves to him

MS - The Scarecrow falls into the scene as he lands on the Yellow Brick
Road - CAMERA PULLS back as Dorothy rushes to him - the Scarecrow begins
to dance again, doing a series of splits -

CS - Toto jumps on a pumpkin, starts it rolling out onto the Yellow Brick
Road at right - CAMERA PANS right -

LS - Toto follows the pumpkin as it rolls forward down the road - CAMERA
PULLS back between the Scarecrow's legs - the pumpkin hits the Scarecrow,
hitting the Scarecrow up out of scene - Dorothy looks on, frightened -

LS - CAMERA PANS up with the Scarecrow as he soars up into the air -

LS - Shooting down from the Scarecrow's angle to Dorothy as she looks up
o.s. -

MS - CAMERA PANS down with the Scarecrow as he falls back toward the road -
exits out of shot -

MLS - The Scarecrow falls back into scene and lands on the Yellow Brick
Road - he runs out to left -

MLS - CAMERA PULLS back before the Scarecrow as he dances forward, bumping
into one side of fence, then bouncing from that to the fence on the other
side of road, then back to the fence at left, and so on down the road -
CAMERA PANS right with him as he runs forward past Dorothy and falls
through a fence which breaks under his weight -

CS - The Scarecrow sits up, looks about - blinks his eyes -

CS - Dorothy reacts as she starts forward, looks o.s. to f.g. -

REVERSE ACTION shot of Scene 93 (MLS - CAMERA PULLS back before the
Scarecrow as he dances forward, bumping into one side of fence, then
bouncing from that to the fence on the other side of road, then back to
the fence at left, and so on down the road - CAMERA PANS right with him as
he runs forward past Dorothy and falls through a fence which breaks under
his weight)
MLS - The Scarecrow bounces off a fence rail and starts to dance forward
down the road as he sings - CAMERA PULLS back ahead of him - Dorothy
entered - he sings to her - some straw falls from his coat - the Scarecrow
slumps to the ground - Dorothy starts to bend down -

SCARECROW
(sings)
Gosh, it would be awful pleasin'
To reason out the reason
For things I can't explain.
Then perhaps I'll deserve you,
And be even worthy erv you
If I only had a brain.

Genres: ["Musical","Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary The Scarecrow realizes the importance of a brain. Dorothy comforts him after his encounter with the crow. Despite his clumsiness, the Scarecrow remains enthusiastic about his journey.

Strengths

Engaging musical number
Strong character development
Whimsical tone

Weaknesses

Minimal conflict
Low stakes

Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from the Scarecrow singing and dancing to him falling over a fence and then bouncing off multiple fences, which can be confusing for the audience.
There is a lack of continuity in the Scarecrow's actions, as he goes from singing and dancing to falling through a fence and then bouncing off fences without a clear motivation or reason.
The physical comedy elements, such as the Scarecrow falling and bouncing off fences, feel disjointed and do not add to the overall narrative or character development.
The scene lacks a clear emotional throughline, as the Scarecrow's actions seem random and disconnected from the previous interactions with Dorothy.
The visual elements of the scene, such as the Scarecrow flying through the air and bouncing off fences, may be difficult to execute effectively and could come across as unrealistic or cartoonish.

Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to have a more coherent progression of actions for the Scarecrow, focusing on his desire for a brain and how that motivates his movements.
Integrate the physical comedy elements more organically into the scene to ensure they serve a purpose in advancing the story or developing the character of the Scarecrow.
Clarify the emotional arc of the scene by emphasizing the Scarecrow's longing for a brain and how that drives his behavior, leading to a more cohesive and engaging performance.
Ensure that the visual elements of the scene, such as the Scarecrow's movements and interactions with the environment, are feasible to execute on screen and contribute to the overall tone and style of the screenplay.
Consider adding moments of connection or dialogue between Dorothy and the Scarecrow to deepen their relationship and provide context for the Scarecrow's actions.

Scene 15 - Meeting the Scarecrow

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

MLS -- Ext. Yellow Brick Road -- Dorothy rushes to the Scarecrow lying on
the road -- she picks up some of his straw -- kneels by him --

CS -- Dorothy kneeling by the Scarecrow -- she speaks as she helps him put
back some of the straw -- they react -- Scarecrow half-rises --

DOROTHY
Wonderful! Why, if our Scarecrow back in
Kansas could do that, the crows'd be scared
to pieces!

SCARECROW
They would?

DOROTHY
Um-hmm.

SCARECROW
Where's Kansas?

DOROTHY
That's where I live. And I want to get back
there so badly I'm going all the way to
Emerald City to get the Wizard of Oz to help
me.

SCARECROW
You're going to see a Wizard?

DOROTHY
Um-hmm.

SCARECROW
Do you think if I went with you this Wizard
would give me some brains?

DOROTHY
I couldn't say. But even if he didn't,
you'd be no worse off than you are now.

SCARECROW
Yes -- that's true.

DOROTHY
But maybe you'd better not. I've got a
witch mad at me, and you might get into
trouble.
SCARECROW
Witch? Huh! I'm not afraid of a witch!
I'm not afraid of anything --- except a
lighted match.

DOROTHY
I don't blame you for that.

SCARECROW
But I'd face a whole box full of them for
the chance of getting some brains. Look --
I won't be any trouble, because I don't eat
a thing -- and I won't try to manage things,
because I can't think. Won't you take me
with you?

MCU -- Dorothy -- shooting past Scarecrow in right f.g.

DOROTHY
Why, of course I will!

LS -- Dorothy and the Scarecrow rise from the road -- the Scarecrow jumps
up -- yells -- Dorothy holds him up -- they speak -- they start to sing --
CAMERA BOOMS to left as they walk down the road and exit to b.g. --

SCARECROW
Hooray! We're off to see a Wizard!

DOROTHY
Oh -- well -- you're not starting out very
well.

SCARECROW
Oh, I'll try! Really, I will.

DOROTHY
To Oz?

SCARECROW
To Oz!

BOTH
(sing)
We're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was
If ever oh ever a Wiz there was,
The Wizard of Oz
Is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does.
We're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

LS -- Dorothy and Scarecrow come forward along Yellow Brick Road -- CAMERA
PULLS back to show Wicked Witch hiding behind tree at left -- she turns,
exits to left -- Dorothy reacts as she sees the apple orchard at right
- she goes up to one of the trees -- CAMERA STARTS TO BOOM forward on
her --
DOROTHY
Oh -- apples -- Oh look! Oh. Oh ---

MCS -- Dorothy standing by the First Tree -- she picks an apple off --
reacts as the tree takes the apple back and slaps Dorothy's hand --

DOROTHY
Ouch!

MCU -- First Tree opens its "mouth" -- speaks to Dorothy o.s. --

TREE
What do you think you're doing?

MCS -- Dorothy replies to the tree -- then reacts --

DOROTHY
We've been walking a long ways and I was
hungry and -- Did you say....

MCU -- The First Tree -- gestures as it speaks --

FIRST TREE
She....

MLS -- Scarecrow and Dorothy standing before the First Tree as it speaks
to the Second Tree in b.g. --

FIRST TREE
...was hungry! Well, how would you like to
have someone come along and pick something
off of you?

MCU -- Scarecrow and Dorothy react, speak as they look o.s. at the tree --

DOROTHY
Oh, dear -- I keep forgetting I'm not in
Kansas.

SCARECROW
Come along, Dorothy -- you don't want any
of those apples. Hmm!

MCU -- First tree reacts, and speaks --

FIRST TREE
What do you mean - she doesn't want any of
those apples? Are you hinting my apples
aren't what they ought to be?

MCU -- Scarecrow and Dorothy --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary Dorothy meets the Scarecrow on the Yellow Brick Road and invites him to join her on her journey to Emerald City to ask the Wizard of Oz for a brain. The Scarecrow agrees and they set off together. They reach an apple orchard, and Dorothy tries to pick an apple from a tree, but the tree gets mad at her.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Introduction of new character
Setting up the journey to see the Wizard of Oz

Weaknesses

Mild conflict resolution
Low stakes

Critique

The scene effectively introduces the Scarecrow as a character who desires a brain and is willing to go to great lengths to get one.
The dialogue between Dorothy and the Scarecrow is engaging and reveals their personalities well.
The interaction between Dorothy and the Scarecrow is lighthearted and humorous, adding to the whimsical tone of the story.
The visual elements of the scene, such as the Scarecrow putting back his straw and the apple trees coming to life, enhance the magical atmosphere of the story.
The transition from the Scarecrow joining Dorothy on her journey to the introduction of the apple orchard is smooth and keeps the story flowing.

Suggestions

Consider adding more physical actions or expressions to enhance the interaction between Dorothy and the Scarecrow.
Explore opportunities to further develop the Scarecrow's desire for a brain and how it impacts his character throughout the story.
Ensure that the dialogue between the characters continues to reveal their personalities and motivations effectively.
Consider incorporating more visual elements to bring the magical world of Oz to life in this scene.
Maintain the whimsical and lighthearted tone of the scene while progressing the story and character development.

Scene 16 - The Apple-Throwing Trees and the Rusted Tin Man

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 7

SCARECROW
Oh, no! It's just that she doesn't like
little green....

MCU -- The Tree reacts, makes a grab for the two o.s. --

SCARECROW o.s.
...worms!

TREE
Oh....
MLS -- The First Tree grabs for the two -- the Scarecrow fights him off as
Dorothy runs out to right f.g. -- the Scarecrow follows her out --

TREE
...you...

SCARECROW
Go -- Go!

TREE
...Oh -- Help -- let me out. I'll give you
little green....

MCS -- Dorothy -- the Scarecrow backs in from left f.g. -- gestures at the
Trees o.s. -- speaks -- then makes faces at the trees --

TREE o.s.
...worms.

SCARECROW
I'll show you how to get apples.

TREE o.s.
You can't....

MS -- The First tree winds up, throws apples o.s. to f.g. --

TREE
...do that to me! I'll....

MCS -- Scarecrow and Dorothy react as the apples begin to hit them -- the
Scarecrow falls back to the road --

TREE o.s.
...show you!

LS -- Shooting past the Trees at left as they throw apples at Scarecrow
and Dorothy and Toto in the b.g. -- The Scarecrow rises, dodges about --

TREES
You can't do that! You can't do that! Hey!

CS -- First Tree laughs as it throws apples to f.g. --

SCARECROW o.s.
Hooray!

LS -- Shooting past the Trees at left as they throw apples at the
Scarecrow and Dorothy in the b.g. -- Scarecrow picks them up --

SCARECROW
Hooray! I guess that did it! Help yourself.

DOROTHY
Oh --

MS -- Dorothy comes forward as she picks up the apples -- CAMERA PANS and
TRUCKS forward as she starts to pick up two apples -- she sees a tin foot
-- reacts -- examines it -- CAMERA PULLS back and BOOMS up as she stands
up by the Tin Man -- Scarecrow comes in from left -- CAMERA PULLS back as
they examine him -- he tries to speak -- Dorothy picks up the oil can --

DOROTHY
Why, it's a man! A man made out of tin!
SCARECROW
What?

DOROTHY
Yes. Oh -- look --

TIN MAN
Oil can.....Oil can....

DOROTHY
Did you say something?

TIN MAN
Oil can....

SCARECROW
Oil can what?

DOROTHY
Oil can? Oh -- oh, here it is!

MCS -- Scarecrow and Dorothy examine the Tin Man -- he tries to speak --
they oil him about the mouth --

DOROTHY
Where do you want to be oiled first?

TIN MAN
My mouth -- my mouth!

SCARECROW
He said his mouth.

DOROTHY
Here -- here --

SCARECROW
The other side....

DOROTHY
Yes --- there.

CU -- The Tin Man tries to speak -- squeaks out a few sounds --

TIN MAN
Mm.....mm...mm....

MCS -- Dorothy and Scarecrow listen as the Tin Man starts to speak --
Dorothy starts to pull the axe arm of the Tin Man down -- Scarecrow oils
him --

TIN MAN
...m...m...my, my, my, my goodness -- I can
talk again! Oh -- oil my arms, please -- oil
my elbows.

DOROTHY
Oh...

MLS -- Dorothy lowers the right arm of the Tin Man so that it hangs
naturally -- Scarecrow busy with the oil can -- the Tin Man begins his
story --
TIN MAN
Oh --

DOROTHY
...Oh, did that hurt?

TIN MAN
No -- it feels wonderful. I've held that
axe up for ages. Oh ---

DOROTHY
Oh, goodness! How did you ever get like
this?

TIN MAN
Oh -- well, about a year ago -- I was
chopping that tree -- minding my own
business -- when suddenly it started to
rain....

MCS -- Scarecrow and Dorothy listen to the Tin Man -- he grows weak --
they work his arms back and forth -- Scarecrow oils his neck for him --
Dorothy raps on the Tin Man's chest -- they react -- Tin Man explains,
then steps backward toward tree --

TIN MAN
...and right in the middle of a chop, I...I
rusted solid. And I've been that way ever
since.

DOROTHY
Well, you're perfect now.

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary Dorothy and the Scarecrow encounter talking trees that throw apples at them. The Scarecrow fights off the trees and shows Dorothy how to get apples from them. They come across a Tin Man who has rusted solid and help him by oiling him. The Tin Man is able to speak again and tells them his story.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Introduction of a new character
Whimsical tone

Weaknesses

Minimal conflict
Low stakes

Critique

The scene starts off with a bit of confusion as the Scarecrow's line is cut off abruptly, making it unclear what he is referring to. This can be confusing for the audience and disrupt the flow of the scene.
The interaction between the Scarecrow and the Trees could be more dynamic and engaging. The physicality of the fight could be emphasized to make it more visually interesting.
The dialogue between the Scarecrow and the Trees feels a bit repetitive and could be more varied to keep the audience engaged.
The transition from the apple throwing to the introduction of the Tin Man feels a bit abrupt. It would be beneficial to have a smoother transition to connect the two parts of the scene more cohesively.
The introduction of the Tin Man is a pivotal moment in the scene, but it could be enhanced by building up more suspense and intrigue leading up to his reveal.

Suggestions

Consider revising the opening lines to provide more clarity and context for the audience.
Enhance the physicality of the fight between the Scarecrow and the Trees to make it more visually engaging.
Diversify the dialogue between the Scarecrow and the Trees to keep the audience interested.
Smooth out the transition between the apple throwing and the introduction of the Tin Man for better continuity.
Build up more suspense and intrigue leading up to the reveal of the Tin Man to make the moment more impactful.

Scene 17 - The Tin Man's Heartless Woe

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 7

TIN MAN
My...my neck. My...my neck. Perfect? Oh
-- bang on my chest if you think I'm
perfect. Go ahead -- bang on it!

DOROTHY
Oh --!

SCARECROW
Beautiful! What an echo!

TIN MAN
It's empty. The tinsmith forgot to give me
a heart.

DOROTHY AND SCARECROW
No heart?

TIN MAN
No heart.

DOROTHY
Oh --

TIN MAN
All hollow. Oh --

CS -- Tin Man falls back as Scarecrow and Dorothy enter to help him -- he
holds them off -- begins to sing --
TIN MAN
(sings)
When a man's an empty kettle,
He should be on his mettle.
And yet I'm torn apart.
Just because I'm presumin'
That I could be kind-a human,
If I only had a heart.

MCU -- Tin Man leans over toward Dorothy and sings as CAMERA PANS left
slightly -- then leans back --

TIN MAN
(sings)
I'd be tender -- I'd be gentle
And awful sentimental
Regarding Love and Art
I'd be friends with sparrows...

CS -- Dorothy and Scarecrow listening to the Tin Man -- he comes forward
slightly -- reacts as he hears Snow White's Voice o.s. -- then continues
with song --

TIN MAN
(sings)
...And the boy who shoots the arrows
If I only had a heart.
Picture me....a balcony....Above a voice
sings low.

SNOW WHITE'S VOICE
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

TIN MAN
I hear a beat....how sweet!
Just to register emotion
Jealousy -- Devotion --
And really feel the part,
I could stay young and chipper,
And I'd lock it with a zipper,
If I only had a heart...!

MLS -- Dorothy, Tin Man and Scarecrow -- the Tin Man Comes forward as he
starts his dance -- Dorothy and Scarecrow -- CAMERA PULLS back -- he stops
as one of his joints sticks -- Dorothy oils it -- Tin Man comes forward a
few more steps, then the other knee sticks -- they oil that for him -- he
thanks them -- CAMERA PULLS back, PANS left as he runs backwards down the
road and starts his dance --

MCS -- Dorothy and Scarecrow watching o.s. to left f.g.

MLS -- Shooting past Scarecrow and Dorothy at right to the Tin Man as he
dances before them --

MLS -- CAMERA PANS slightly with the Tin Man as he dances about -- he taps
his chest, makes the whistle in his funnel hat blow -- then continues to
dance --

MCS -- Dorothy and the Scarecrow look at each other with amazement as they
watch the dance of the Tin Man -- Dorothy whispers to the Scarecrow --

MLS -- The Tin Man dancing -- he jumps forward slightly, folds his arms,
then locks in that position -- starts to lean to left --
MLS -- CAMERA PANS Dorothy and Scarecrow as they rush to left to help the
Tin Man -- they catch him in time -- he starts to fall in the other
direction -- they rush around to catch him, but he now starts to fall to
the other side -- this business is repeated -- then CAMERA PANS to right
as the Tin Man stumbles toward b.g. -- Scarecrow tries to get out of the
way and falls over -- Dorothy grabs the Tin Man's hand --

DOROTHY
Oh --

MCS -- The Tin Man sits down -- Dorothy reacts, speaks with him --
Scarecrow enters from left -- Dorothy oils the Tin Man some more, then
asks him to go to the Emerald City, too -- then all react as the Witch
laughs o.s. -- they rise to their feet as CAMERA PANS up to the right to
the Witch standing on the roof of Tin Man's cottage --

DOROTHY
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, are you all
right?

TIN MAN
I'm afraid I'm a little rusty yet.

DOROTHY
Oh, dear -- That was wonderful! You know
-- we were just wondering why you couldn't
come to Emerald City with us to ask the
Wizard of Oz for a heart.

TIN MAN
Emerald City? Why, that's a long and
dangerous journey. And it might rain on the
way.

SCARECROW
But you've just been saying how much you want
a heart.

DOROTHY
And I'll keep the oil-can handy.

TIN MAN
Well, suppose the Wizard wouldn't get me one
when we got there?

DOROTHY
Oh, but he will! He must! We've come such
a long way already.
(Witch laughs o.s.)

TIN MAN
Ohh -- what's that? Oh --

WITCH
You call that long?

MLS -- The Witch on the Tin Man's roof -- she speaks as she looks o.s. to
f.g. --

WITCH
Why, you've just begun! Forgotten about me,....

Genres: ["Fantasy","Musical","Adventure"]

Summary A compassionate Dorothy and Scarecrow attempt to console a distraught Tin Man, who laments his lack of a heart. They propose a journey to the Emerald City in search of a solution, but their hopes are dampened by the taunting Witch, who highlights the arduous path ahead.

Strengths

Emotional depth of the Tin Man's character
Engaging dialogue and musical elements
Setting up the next stage of the journey

Weaknesses

Limited external conflict
Some repetitive actions in the Tin Man's dance sequence

Critique

The scene effectively introduces the Tin Man and his desire for a heart, adding depth to his character and creating empathy from the audience.
The song and dance sequence by the Tin Man adds a whimsical and entertaining element to the scene, engaging the viewers.
The physical comedy with the Tin Man stumbling and falling adds humor to the scene, but it could be slightly overdone and may benefit from some moderation.
The interaction between Dorothy, Scarecrow, and Tin Man is heartwarming and showcases their growing bond as they journey together.
The introduction of the Witch at the end adds a sense of impending danger and sets up the next conflict for the characters to face.

Suggestions

Consider balancing the physical comedy with the Tin Man's stumbling to ensure it enhances the scene without becoming repetitive.
Explore ways to further develop the Tin Man's character beyond his desire for a heart, adding layers to his personality and backstory.
Continue to strengthen the bond between Dorothy, Scarecrow, and Tin Man through meaningful interactions and shared experiences.
Build up the tension and anticipation surrounding the Witch's looming presence to create a sense of urgency and danger for the characters.
Consider incorporating more visual elements or choreography to enhance the song and dance sequence, making it more visually captivating for the audience.

Scene 18 - Confrontation with the Witch

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 7

MCS - Tin Man, Dorothy and Scarecrow react as the Witch speaks o.s. -
WITCH o.s.
...eh? Well, I haven't forgotten about you!

CS -- The Witch speaks to the three o.s. in f.g. --

WITCH
Helping the little lady along, are you, my
fine gentlemen?

MCS -- Tin Man, Dorothy and Scarecrow --

WITCH o.s.
Well, stay away from her!

CS -- Witch speaks, points at the Scarecrow o.s. --

WITCH
Or I'll stuff a mattress with you!

MCS -- Tin Man, Dorothy and Scarecrow -- Tin Man points to the trembling
Scarecrow -- then the Tin Man reacts -- points to himself --

WITCH o.s.
And you! I'll use you for a bee-hive!
(laughs)

CS -- The Witch speaks, throws a ball of fire o.s. --

WITCH
Here, Scarecrow! Want to play ball?

LS -- Dorothy, Tin Man, Scarecrow standing at left as the Witch on the
roof throws down a ball of fire at them -- she laughs gleefully --

CS - Witch speaks to Dorothy o.s. -

WITCH
And as for you, my little....

MLS - Tin Man putting out the fire as Dorothy helps the Scarecrow, who is
rolling about in the grass - she reacts as Witch speaks o.s. -

WITCH o.s.
...Dorothy, I wish....

MCU - Dorothy hugs Toto tightly as Witch speaks o.s. -

WITCH o.s.
...you luck with the Wizard of Oz. And a....

CS - Witch speaks to Dorothy o.s. - then laughs -

WITCH
...happy journey back to Kansas!

MLS -- The Witch laughs -- sits on her broomstick in a position to fly
away -- smoke fills the shot, obscuring Witch from sight --

Ext. Forrest -- CS -- Dorothy holding Toto in her arms -- watching o.s.

LS -- Cloud of smoke as Witch disappears --

MS -- The Tin Man -- Dorothy and Scarecrow looking o.s. -- CAMERA TRUCKS
forward on them -- Tin Man and Scarecrow speak -- snap their fingers --
Tin Man reacts to buzzing sound --

SCARECROW
I'm not afraid of her. I'll see you get
safely to the Wizard now, whether I get a
brain or not! Stuff a mattress with me!
Hah!

TIN MAN
I'll see you reach the Wizard, whether I
get a heart of not. Bee-hive -- bah! Let
her try and make a bee-hive out of me! You
know -- Hmm? What's that?

MLS - Tin Man and Scarecrow sitting down - Dorothy in b.g. near tree -
comes forward as Tin Man and Scarecrow rise - she speaks - reacts when she
sees bee on her arm - turns around as Tin Man takes bee off her arm -

TIN MAN
Oh! They're - they're gone now.

DOROTHY
Oh, goodness! Did any of them sting you?

TIN MAN
I - I guess they tried to, but they bent
their stingers.

DOROTHY
Oh, dear. I don't know what I'd do if a
whole swarm kept -- Oh! Oh! Oh, there's one
on me!

TIN MAN
Oh - I'll get it!

DOROTHY
Oh! Oh!

CS - Scarecrow - Dorothy and Tin Man - Tin Man looks at dead bee in his
hand - speaks and cries -

DOROTHY
Oh --

TIN MAN
Oh, see - I killed it. Oh, I killed that
poor little honey bee!

DOROTHY
Oh-oh-

CU - Tin Man crying - speaks -

TIN MAN
It's only a man without a head who could do
a thing like that. Poor little bee.

CU - Dorothy reacts - reaches o.s. -

DOROTHY
Oh, there....

CU - The Tin Man as Dorothy reaches in - wipes away his tears -
DOROTHY
...there. Don't cry. There.

CU - Dorothy looks o.s. - speaks -

DOROTHY
As a matter of fact, that's just an old
drone bee, and it would have died....

CU - Tin Man looks o.s. -

DOROTHY o.s.
...anyway.

TIN MAN
Yes?

DOROTHY o.s.
You put it out of its misery.

TIN MAN
Oh.

DOROTHY o.s.
It's....

CS - Scarecrow - Dorothy and Tin Man - they speak and laugh -

DOROTHY
...just that the Witch is so wicked. I don't
think you two ought to come with me because
you'll get into trouble.

SCARECROW
Oh, you don't think we're going to stand by
and let her get away with fireballs and
bees, do you?

TIN MAN
No, sir!

SCARECROW
No, sir!

DOROTHY
Oh, you're the best friends anybody ever
had! And it's funny, but I feel as if I've
known you all the time. But I couldn't
have, could I?

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary The Witch threatens Dorothy, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow, but they are saved when the Witch disappears in a cloud of smoke. The Tin Man accidentally kills a bee on Dorothy's arm, and she comforts him. They decide to continue their journey together.

Strengths

Strong character development
Engaging dialogue
Whimsical tone

Weaknesses

Some elements may be predictable
Limited exploration of the Witch's motivations

Critique

The scene effectively conveys the tension and threat posed by the Witch towards Dorothy, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow. The Witch's menacing dialogue and actions create a sense of danger and urgency.
The emotional moment where the Tin Man accidentally kills a bee and feels remorse is well portrayed, adding depth to his character and showcasing his compassionate nature.
Dorothy's concern for her friends and her reluctance to put them in danger due to the Witch's threats is a strong character moment that highlights her caring nature.
The dialogue between the characters is engaging and reveals their loyalty and determination to stand by each other in the face of adversity.
The scene effectively sets up the dynamic between the Witch and the protagonists, establishing the stakes for their journey to the Wizard of Oz.

Suggestions

Consider adding more visual cues to enhance the Witch's threatening presence, such as ominous music or visual effects to heighten the tension.
Explore ways to further develop the Tin Man's emotional arc after the bee incident, perhaps by showing how he grapples with the concept of causing harm unintentionally.
Provide additional moments of bonding and camaraderie between Dorothy, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow to strengthen their friendship and teamwork.
Consider incorporating subtle foreshadowing of future challenges or obstacles the group may face on their journey to the Emerald City.
Ensure that the resolution of the scene aligns with the overall tone and themes of the screenplay, setting up the next stage of the characters' journey effectively.

Scene 19 - Encounter in the Eerie Forest

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 7

SCARECROW
I don't see how. You weren't around when I
was stuffed and sewn together, were you?

TIN MAN
And I was standing over there rusting for
the longest time.

DOROTHY
Still, I wish I could remember. But, I
guess it doesn't matter anyway. We know
each other now, don't we?
SCARECROW
That's right.

TIN MAN
We do.

SCARECROW
To Oz?

TIN MAN
To Oz!

MLS -- Scarecrow -- Dorothy and Tin Man -- CAMERA PANS right as they dance
down to brick road -- Scarecrow picks up basket -- CAMERA TRUCKS back as
they dance forward -- then turn and go up road to b.g. -- exit --

THE THREE
(sing)
We're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was.
If ever, oh ever a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does
We're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

LS -- Int. Dark and Eerie Forest -- Tin Man -- Dorothy and Scarecrow
walking forward down brick road --

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

LS -- Tin Man -- Dorothy and Scarecrow walking forward slowly --

MCS -- Tin Man -- Dorothy and Scarecrow stop -- look around off screen --
Dorothy frightened -- speaks --

DOROTHY
I don't like this forest! It's -- it's
dark and creepy!

SCARECROW
Of course, I don't know, but I think it'll
get darker before it gets lighter.

DOROTHY
Do -- do you suppose we'll meet any wild
animals?

TIN MAN
We might.

DOROTHY
Oh --

SCARECROW
Animals that -- that eat straw?
TIN MAN
Some -- but mostly lions, and tigers, and
bears.

CU -- Dorothy reacts --

DOROTHY
Lions?

CU -- Scarecrow reacts -- speaks --

SCARECROW
And tigers?

CU -- Tin Man looks o.s. -- speaks --

TIN MAN
And bears.

MCS -- Tin Man -- Dorothy and Scarecrow -- Dorothy frightened --

DOROTHY
Oh! Lions and tigers and bears!

MLS -- Tin Man -- Dorothy and Scarecrow walk forward along brick road --
CAMERA PANS them to right -- they react to growl o.s. --

DOROTHY
Oh, my!

TIN MAN -- SCARECROW AND DOROTHY
Lions and tigers and bears!

DOROTHY
Oh, my!

TIN MAN -- SCARECROW AND DOROTHY
Lions and tigers and bears!

DOROTHY
Oh, my!

TIN MAN -- SCARECROW AND DOROTHY
Lions and tigers and bears!

DOROTHY
Oh, my!

TIN MAN -- SCARECROW AND DOROTHY
Lions and tigers and bears!

DOROTHY
Oh, my!
(screams)

MCS -- Tin Man -- Dorothy and Scarecrow frightened -- speak -- look o.s. --
react --

TIN MAN
And bears!

DOROTHY
What sort of an animal is that?
TIN MAN
It-it-it-it - it's a huge one!

SCARECROW
D-d-d-don't be fr-fr-frightened. I - I'll -
I'll protect you. Oh, look!

LS -- Lion on fallen tree -- Dorothy -- Scarecrow and Tin Man in f.g. on
brick road -- the lion jumps toward them -- CAMERA TRUCKS back as they
three move back -- the Lion takes two great leaps -- lands on the brick
road -- Tin Man and Scarecrow fall at side of road -- Dorothy hides behind
tree -- (Lion growling)

CU -- Lion growling --

CS -- Scarecrow trembling --

CU -- Lion growling --

CU -- Dorothy looks out around tree -- reacts --

CU -- Lion growling --

CS -- Tin Man trembling --

CS -- Lion sneers -- CAMERA PANS as he stands on his hind legs -- puts up
his paws -- speaks --

LION
Put 'em up! Put 'em....

LS -- Lion -- Tin Man and Scarecrow -- Dorothy back of tree in b.g. --
CAMERA TRUCKS forward -- Lion speaks and gestures --

LION
...up! Which one of you first? I'll fight
you both together if you want! I'll fight
you with one paw tied behind my back. I'll
fight you standing on one foot.

MCS -- Lion speaks -- CAMERA PANS him to right to Tin Man -- Dorothy in
b.g. --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Man venture into a dark forest, where they encounter a fearsome lion who challenges them to a fight. The friends tremble in fear, leaving Dorothy to hide behind a tree as the lion prepares to battle.

Strengths

Strong character development
Engaging dialogue
Establishing the main quest

Weaknesses

Some repetitive dialogue

Critique

The dialogue in this scene feels a bit repetitive with the constant mention of lions, tigers, and bears. It could be more engaging with more varied interactions between the characters.
The reactions of the characters to the growls and the appearance of the lion could be more nuanced and detailed to build tension and suspense in the scene.
The physical actions of the characters, such as the Lion jumping toward them and the Tin Man and Scarecrow falling, could be described in more vivid detail to enhance the visual impact of the scene.
The dialogue of the Lion challenging them to a fight feels a bit cliched and could be more original to add depth to the character.
The scene could benefit from more character development and emotional depth to make the interactions between Dorothy, the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion more meaningful.

Suggestions

Consider adding more variety to the dialogue to make the interactions between the characters more engaging and dynamic.
Enhance the descriptions of the characters' reactions and physical movements to create a more vivid and immersive scene.
Explore ways to make the Lion's challenge more unique and reflective of his character traits to add depth to the scene.
Focus on developing the emotional connections between Dorothy, the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion to make the scene more impactful and memorable.
Consider adding layers of tension and suspense to the scene to keep the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.

Scene 20 - The Lion's Cowardice

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 7

LION
I'll fight you with my eyes closed. Oh --
pulling an axe on me, eh?

MCU -- Tin Man trembling --

MCS -- Lion speaks -- CAMERA PANS him left to Scarecrow -- Dorothy in b.g.
watching -- PANS lion to right to Tin Man --

LION
Sneaking up on me, eh? Why!
(snarls)

TIN MAN
Here -- here. Go 'way and let us alone!

LION
Oh, scared, huh?

CU -- Dorothy looks out from around tree -- reacts --
LION o.s.
Afraid, huh?

MCS -- Lion and Tin Man -- Lion speaks and laughs -- CAMERA PANS him to
left to Scarecrow -- Dorothy in b.g.

LION
How long can you stay fresh in that can?
(laughs)
Come on -- get up and fight, you shivering
junk yard! Put your hands up, you lop-sided
bag of hay!

CS -- Scarecrow reacts -- speaks --

SCARECROW
Now that's getting personal, Lion.

MCU -- Tin Man looks o.s. -- speaks --

TIN MAN
Yes -- get up and teach him a lesson.

MCS -- Scarecrow and Lion -- Dorothy in b.g. --

SCARECROW
Well -- what's -- wrong with you teaching
him?

MCU -- Tin Man reacts -- speaks --

TIN MAN
Well -- well --, I hardly know him.

CS -- Toto barking --

CU -- Lion snarls -- speaks

LION
Well, I'll get you, anyway, Pee-Wee.

CU -- Dorothy reacts -- exits left f.g. --

MLS -- Lion and Dorothy -- Toto runs into shrubs -- Lion starts after him
-- Dorothy picks up Toto -- comes forward over to Scarecrow and Tin Man --
CAMERA PANS left as Lion starts for Toto -- Dorothy slaps his hand -- he
backs away -- crying --

DOROTHY
Shame on you!

MCU -- Lion -- Camera shooting past Dorothy at left f.g. -- Lion crying --
speaks --

LION
What -- what did you do that for? I didn't
bite him.

DOROTHY
No, but you tried to.

CS -- Dorothy and Lion -- CAMERA PULLS back -- Scarecrow and Tin Man enter
at left -- Dorothy speaks to Lion -- he cries and speaks --
DOROTHY
It's bad enough picking on a straw man, but
when you go around picking on poor little
dogs --

LION
Well, you didn't have to go and hit me, did
you? Is my nose bleeding?

DOROTHY
Well, of course not. My goodness, what a
fuss you're making. Well, naturally, when
you go around picking on things weaker than
you are -- Why, you're nothing but a great
big coward!

LION
You're right -- I am a coward.

MCU -- Lion -- Camera shooting past Dorothy -- Lion crying -- speaks --

LION
I haven't any courage at all. I even scare
myself. Look at the circles under my eyes.

MS -- Tin Man -- Scarecrow -- Dorothy and Lion -- they speak -- Lion
crying --

LION
I haven't slept in weeks.

TIN MAN
Why don't you try counting sheep?

LION
That doesn't do any good -- I'm afraid of 'em.

SCARECROW
Oh, that's too bad. Don't you think the
Wizard could help him, too?

DOROTHY
I don't see why not. Why don't you come
along with us? We're on our way to see the
Wizard now. To get him a heart.

TIN MAN
And him a brain.

DOROTHY
I'm sure he could give you some courage.

MCU -- Lion -- Camera shooting past Dorothy --

LION
Well, wouldn't you feel degraded to be seen
in the company of a cowardly lion? I would.

CS -- Dorothy -- Tin Man and Scarecrow -- Camera shooting past Lion at
right f.g. --

DOROTHY
No, of course not.
MCS -- Tin Man -- Dorothy -- Scarecrow and Lion --

LION
Gee, that's -- that's awfully nice of you.
My life....

MLS -- Dorothy and Group -- Dorothy puts Toto down -- Lion Sings as the
four walk and dance along brick road to right -- CAMERA TRUCKS with them --

LION
...has been simply unbearable.

DOROTHY
Oh.

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary The Lion challenges the Tin Man to a fight, but the Tin Man tries to avoid conflict. Dorothy intervenes when the Lion goes after Toto, and she scolds him for picking on weaker beings. The Lion admits he is a coward and joins Dorothy, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow on their journey to see the Wizard.

Strengths

Engaging introduction of the Cowardly Lion
Clear setup for the group's journey to see the Wizard
Witty dialogue that showcases character personalities

Weaknesses

Limited action in the scene
Lack of immediate high stakes

Critique

The scene effectively showcases the Lion's internal struggle with his lack of courage, which adds depth to his character. However, the dialogue between the characters could be more nuanced to further explore the Lion's insecurities and fears.
The transition from the Lion challenging the Tin Man to a fight to him admitting his cowardice feels a bit abrupt. Adding more build-up and emotional depth to this moment could make it more impactful.
While the scene addresses the Lion's lack of courage, it could benefit from more visual cues to convey his emotions. Showing his physical reactions and expressions more vividly could enhance the audience's understanding of his character arc.
The interaction between Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion is heartwarming and showcases the theme of friendship and support. However, delving deeper into the emotional journey of each character could create a more compelling and engaging scene.
The scene effectively sets up the Lion's character arc and his decision to join Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Man on their journey. However, exploring the internal conflicts of the other characters in more depth could add layers to the overall narrative.

Suggestions

Consider adding more dialogue that delves into the Lion's past experiences or traumas that have led to his lack of courage. This could provide a richer backstory for the character.
Enhance the emotional impact of the scene by incorporating visual cues such as close-up shots of the Lion's expressions and body language to convey his inner turmoil.
Explore the dynamics between the characters further by allowing them to have more intimate and revealing conversations about their fears, hopes, and dreams. This could deepen the audience's connection to the characters.
Consider incorporating moments of vulnerability and growth for all characters, not just the Lion, to show their development throughout the journey. This could create a more cohesive and impactful narrative.
Focus on building up the tension and emotional stakes leading up to the Lion's decision to join the group, making it a pivotal moment in his character arc. This could add more weight to his choice and its significance in the story.

Scene 21 - Song and Journey

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 7

LION
(sings)
Yeh, it's sad, believe me, Missy
When you're born to be a sissy,
Without the vim and verve.
But I could show my prowess --
Be a lion not a mou-ess --
If I only had the nerve
I'm afraid there's no denyin'
I'm just a dande-lion --
A fate I don't deserve.
I'd be brave as a blizzard --

TIN MAN
(sings)
I'd be gentle as a lizard --

SCARECROW
(sings)
I'd be clever as a gizzard --

DOROTHY
(sings)
If the Wizard is a Wizard who will serve.

CS -- Tin Man and Scarecrow sing -- CAMERA PANS to right to Dorothy and
Lion --

SCARECROW
(sings)
Then I'm sure to get a brain --

TIN MAN
(sings)
A heart --

DOROTHY
(sings)
A home --

LION
(sings)
The nerve.

MLS -- Scarecrow -- Tin Man -- Dorothy and Lion sing as they dance forward
along brick road -- CAMERA TRUCKS ahead --
ALL
(sing)
Oh, we're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.
We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was....

LS -- Dorothy -- Lion -- Tin Man and Scarecrow dance down brick road to
b.g. -- all exit --

ALL
(sing)
...If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does!
We're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!

Camera on Crystal -- the images of Tin Man -- Dorothy -- Scarecrow and
Lion in crystal as they march along arm in arm -- CAMERA TRUCKS back
showing the Witch and Nikko looking into crystal -- Witch laughs -- CAMERA
PANS her left to table -- she mixes poison -- CAMERA PANS her to right to
Crystal -- She holds poison over the crystal -- waves her hand over it --
the images of group fade out -- Poppy Field fades in -- CAMERA TRUCKS
forward on Crystal --

WITCH
A-hah!
(laughs)
So! You won't take warning, eh? All the
worse for you, then. I'll take care of you
now instead of later! Hah! When I gain
those ruby slippers, my power will be the
greatest in Oz! And now, my beauties!
Something with poison in it, I think. With
poison in it, but attractive to the eye --
and soothing to the smell!
(laughs)
Poppies! Poppies! Poppies!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

LS -- Poppy Field -- CAMERA PANS up -- then PANS left over field -- to
edge of forest -- Dorothy -- Scarecrow -- Lion and Tin Man coming forward
out of forest --

MCS -- Dorothy -- Lion -- Tin Man and Scarecrow all looking o.s. --
Dorothy speaks --

DOROTHY
There's Emerald....

ELS -- Shooting over Poppy Field to towers of Emerald City -- Dorothy and
Group in f.g. --

DOROTHY
...City! Oh, we're almost there at last!
At last!

MCS -- Dorothy -- Lion -- Tin Man and Scarecrow -- they speak --
DOROTHY
It's beautiful, isn't it? Just like I knew
it would be. He really must be a wonderful
Wizard to live in a City like that!

LION
Well, come on, then. What are we waiting
for?

SCARECROW
Nothing! Let's hurry!

LS -- Dorothy -- Tin Man -- Scarecrow and Lion run to b.g. thru poppy
field --

DOROTHY
Yes -- let's run!

LION
Yes.

MLS -- Tin Man -- Scarecrow -- Dorothy and Lion running forward thru Poppy
Field -- CAMERA TRUCKS right --

MS -- Tin Man and Scarecrow running thru poppies -- CAMERA TRUCKS right --
both gesture --

SCARECROW
Come on -- come on --

TIN MAN
Hurry -- hurry --

MS -- Dorothy and Lion running thru poppies -- CAMERA TRUCKS right --

MS -- Dorothy running to right -- staggers a little -- slows down --

ELS -- Scarecrow and Tin Man running forward thru poppy field -- Lion in
b.g. -- Dorothy enters in far b.g. -- Scarecrow and Tin Man stop on hill --
call and gesture

SCARECROW
Oh! Oh, come on, come on!

TIN MAN
Look -- you can see it here. It's wonderful!

SCARECROW
Emerald City!

MLS -- Dorothy running slowly to right -- CAMERA PANS her to Lion -- Tin
Man and Scarecrow -- Dorothy staggers -- puts her hand to her head --

DOROTHY
Oh -- Oh -- what's happening? What is it?

MCU -- Dorothy puts her hand to her head -- speaks --

Genres: ["Musical","Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary Lions leads the group in a song, they dance along the brick road. The Witch creates a potion to poison the poppies. They arrive at the edge of the poppy field and see Emerald City in the distance. Dorothy begins to feel the effects of the witch's potion.

Strengths

Engaging musical numbers
Visual spectacle of Emerald City
Character development

Weaknesses

Some predictable elements in character interactions

Critique

The song sung by the Lion about his desire to be brave is a pivotal moment in the scene, but it could be more impactful if the lyrics were more nuanced and emotionally resonant.
The transition from the Lion's song to the Witch creating a potion to poison the poppies feels abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
The group's excitement about reaching Emerald City is overshadowed by Dorothy's sudden slowing down and confusion, which disrupts the momentum of their journey.
Dorothy's physical reaction to the poppies could be more visually and emotionally engaging to convey the impact of the Witch's potion on her.
The dialogue between the characters as they approach Emerald City lacks depth and could be more reflective of their individual motivations and fears.

Suggestions

Consider revising the Lion's song to delve deeper into his internal struggles and desires for bravery, adding layers to his character development.
Smooth out the transition between the Lion's song and the Witch's potion creation to maintain the scene's pacing and coherence.
Enhance Dorothy's physical and emotional reaction to the poppies to emphasize the danger and urgency of the situation created by the Witch.
Add more meaningful dialogue between the characters as they approach Emerald City to highlight their individual growth and relationships, building towards the climax of their journey.

Scene 22 - Dorothy and the Poppy Field

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

DOROTHY
I can't run anymore. I'm so....

CS -- Tin Man and Scarecrow --
DOROTHY o.s.
...sleepy.

SCARECROW
Here -- give us your hands, and we'll pull
you....

MLS -- Dorothy and Group --

SCARECROW
...along.

DOROTHY
Oh, no -- please. I have to rest for just
a minute. Toto!

CS -- Toto lying among poppies --

DOROTHY o.s.
Where's Toto --

MLS -- Dorothy and Group -- Dorothy lies down among the poppies --

SCARECROW
Oh, you can't rest now -- we're nearly there!

MCU - Lion yawns and speaks -

LION
What did she -- do that for?

The images of Lion - Tin Man - Scarecrow and Dorothy in Crystal - they
speak - CAMERA TRUCKS back showing Witch and Nikko standing near crystal -
Witch laughs and speaks - the images fade out - Nikko exits - CAMERA
TRUCKS forward on Witch -

SCARECROW
Hey, Dorothy!

TIN MAN
Dorothy!

LION
Dorothy!

TIN MAN
Dorothy! You can't sleep here! You can't
sleep in the middle of a field!

WITCH
(laughs)
Call away! Call away! She won't hear any of
you again! And there's nothing you can do
about it, either.
(laughs)
Bring me my wishing cap! I'll call the
Winged Monkeys to fetch me those slippers!
Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! It worked very
smoothly!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

MLS -- Lion -- Tin Man and Scarecrow -- Dorothy lying in poppies -- Lion
starts to cry -- Scarecrow speaks -- holds the Lion up -- Lion drops as
Tin Man and Scarecrow start to pick up Dorothy --

TIN MAN
(crying)
Oh - oh, poor Dorothy!

SCARECROW
Don't cry -- you'll rust yourself again!

LION
Comin' to think of it, forty winks wouldn't
be bad.

SCARECROW
Don't you start it, too!

TIN MAN
Oh! We ought to try and carry Dorothy.

SCARECROW
I don't think I could, but we could try.

TIN MAN
Let's.

SCARECROW
Yes.

TIN MAN
Oh -- now look at him! This is terrible!

SCARECROW
Here, Tin Man -- help me.

CS -- Dorothy as Scarecrow tries to lift her --

MLS -- Tin Man and Scarecrow -- Dorothy and Lion lying among poppies --
Tin Man and Scarecrow react -- call for help --

SCARECROW
Oh, this is terrible -- can't budge her an
inch! This is a spell, this is!

TIN MAN
It's the Wicked Witch! What'll we do?
Help! HELP!

SCARECROW
It's no use screaming at a time like this!
Nobody will hear you! Help!

LS -- Tin Man and Scarecrow on top of hill -- crying for help --
Superimposed shot of the Good Witch as she waves wand -- snow starts to
fall --

SCARECROW
HELP -- HELP!

CS -- Dorothy lying among poppies -- snow falling on her

SCARECROW o.s.
Help! Help!
LS -- Tin Man and Scarecrow on top of hill -- Superimposed shot of the
Good Witch waving wand -- snow falling -- The Superimposure fades out --

SCARECROW o.s.
Look - It's snowing! It isn't snowing. It
couldn't be! But it is! No, it isn't! Yes,
it is! Oh, maybe that'll help!

CS -- Dorothy lying among poppies -- snow falling on her -- she opens her
eyes --

SCARECROW o.s.
Oh, but it couldn't help.

MCS -- Scarecrow looking down o.s. -- snow falling -- CAMERA PANS as he
kneels down to Dorothy -- she wakens -- sits up -- Lion sits up in b.g. --
Dorothy looks o.s. to left -- CAMERA PANS up to Tin Man -- then PULLS back
-- Dorothy jumps up -- takes oil can from basket -- they oil the Tin Man --

SCARECROW
It does help. Dorothy, you're waking up!

DOROTHY
Oh --

LION
Oh -- unusual weather we're having, ain't
it?

DOROTHY
Look! He's rusted again. Oh, give me the
oil can -- quick! Oh-oh, quick!

SCARECROW
Yes -- there --

DOROTHY
Oh -- here quick -- oh! - we'll oil him up.

MCS -- Images of Tin Man -- Dorothy -- Scarecrow and Lion in Crystal --
CAMERA TRUCKS back showing Witch and Nikko looking into Crystal -- The
Witch reacts -- speaks -- the images fade from Crystal --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary Dorothy becomes sleepy and lies down among poppies to rest. The Wicked Witch of the West uses her magic to put Dorothy to sleep so she can get her ruby slippers. The Scarecrow and the Tin Man try to wake Dorothy, but they can't. They start to cry, but then the Good Witch of the North appears and uses her magic to wake Dorothy up. Dorothy, the Scarecrow and the Tin Man oil the rusted Tin Man, and they continue on their journey.

Strengths

Magical elements
Character dynamics
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some repetitive dialogue
Predictable resolution

Critique

The scene starts with Dorothy feeling sleepy and lying down among the poppies, which creates a sense of urgency and danger as the Witch plans to use the Winged Monkeys to capture Dorothy. This builds tension and suspense in the scene.
The emotional dynamics between the characters are well portrayed, with the Tin Man and Scarecrow showing concern for Dorothy and the Lion displaying a mix of bravado and vulnerability. This adds depth to the characters and their relationships.
The use of snowfall as a magical intervention by the Good Witch to wake Dorothy is a creative and visually impactful moment that adds a mystical element to the scene.
The interaction between the characters as they try to wake up the Tin Man with the oil can showcases their teamwork and care for each other, highlighting their bond and unity as a group.
The scene effectively transitions from a moment of peril to a moment of relief and hope as Dorothy wakes up, creating a sense of resolution and progress in their journey.

Suggestions

Consider adding more visual descriptions to enhance the magical and fantastical elements of the scene, such as the snowfall and the characters' reactions to it.
Explore deeper into the emotional impact of the characters' actions and interactions, especially in moments of vulnerability and support.
Ensure a smooth transition between moments of tension and moments of resolution to maintain a cohesive narrative flow.
Consider incorporating more dialogue that reveals the characters' thoughts and feelings, adding depth to their personalities and relationships.
Continue to build on the themes of teamwork, friendship, and perseverance that are evident in this scene to further develop the characters and their journey.

Scene 23 - Arrival at the Emerald City Gate

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 7

SCARECROW
-- A hot water bottle would be good if we
had one.

DOROTHY
Oh, he's been crying! Why have you been --

WITCH
Curse it! Curse it! Somebody always helps
that girl! But shoes or no shoes, I'm still
great enough to conquer her. And woe to
those who try to stop me!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

LS -- Dorothy -- Lion -- Scarecrow and Tin Man on hill in Poppy Field --
Dorothy speaks -- all react to voices singing -- The four of them come
forward down hill --
DOROTHY
Come on -- let's get out of here! Look --
Emerald City is closer and prettier than
ever!

VOICES o.s.
You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
Step into the sun
Step into the light
Keep straight ahead for....

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

MLS -- Dorothy -- Lion -- Scarecrow and Tin Man arm in arm tramping to
right -- CAMERA TRUCKS right --

VOICES
(sing)
...The most glorious place --

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

MS -- Int. Tower Room -- The Witch gestures with broomstick -- CAMERA PANS
left -- then right as she runs around to window -- stands on sill --
speaks -- then flies out --

WITCH
To the Emerald City -- as fast as lightning!

ELS -- The Witch flying on broomstick -- CAMERA PANS as she circles tower
-- then flies out left --

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

LS -- Gate to Emerald City -- Dorothy -- Lion -- Tin Man and Scarecrow
enter left f.g. -- skip to b.g. to gate --

VOICES
(sing)
-- Of the earth or the sky
Hold onto your breath
Hold onto your heart
Hold onto your hope --
March up to the gate
And bid it open --- open --- open.

MS -- Dorothy -- Tin Man -- Lion and Scarecrow at gate -- they ring the
bell --

CU -- Doorman pops head thru little window in door -- looks down o.s. --
speaks --

DOORMAN
Who rang that bell?

MS -- Dorothy and group at gate -- Doorman at window -- he speaks to the
group -- they look around --

DOROTHY AND OTHERS
We did.
DOORMAN
Can't you read?

SCARECROW
Read what?

DOORMAN
The notice!

DOROTHY AND SCARECROW
What notice?

DOORMAN
It's on the door -- as plain as the nose on
my face! It -- Oh --

CU -- Doorman reacts -- starts out --

MS -- Dorothy and group at door -- Doorman disappears -- re-enters --
hangs sign on door -- then exits -- closing window -- Dorothy and others
read sign -- Dorothy knocks on door -- Doorman re-enters -- speaks to
them --

DOROTHY AND OTHERS
"Bell out of order. Please knock."

DOORMAN
Well, that's more like it. Now, state your
business!

DOROTHY AND OTHERS
We want to see the Wizard.

DOORMAN
Ooooh! The Wizard? But nobody can see the
Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz!
Even I've never seen him!

DOROTHY
Well, then -- how do you know there is one?

CU -- Doorman speaks -- reacts -- starts out --

DOORMAN
Because he -- I -- Oh, you're wasting my
time!

DOROTHY o.s.
Oh, please! Please....

CS -- Dorothy -- Tin Man and Lion -- Dorothy speaks

DOROTHY
...sir. I've got to see the Wizard! The
Good Witch of the North sent me!

CU -- Doorman looks o.s. -- speaks --

DOORMAN
Prove it.

MS -- Dorothy and Group at door -- Doorman at little window of door --
looks down at them --
SCARECROW
She's wearing the ruby slippers she gave
her.

CU -- Ruby slippers on Dorothy's feet --

DOORMAN o.s.
Oh....

CU -- Doorman speaks and gestures --

DOORMAN
...so she is! Well, bust my buttons! Why
didn't you say that in the....

CS -- Dorothy -- Tin Man and Lion smiling --

DOORMAN o.s.
...first place? That's a horse....

CU -- Doorman looks down o.s. -- speaks -- exits -- closing window --

DOORMAN
...of a different color! Come on in!

LS -- Dorothy and Group at gate as it opens -- People moving about on
street of Oz in b.g. -- Cabby drives in from right -- CAMERA TRUCKS
forward -- Dorothy and group go to cab --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary Dorothy and her companions are stopped at the gate of the Emerald City by a skeptical Doorman. They are granted entry after Dorothy convinces the Doorman with her ruby slippers, a token from the Good Witch of the North. They then enter the city in a cab.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Introduction of new setting
Character camaraderie

Weaknesses

Mild conflict resolution
Some predictable elements

Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from the Witch's curse to the group in the poppy field, which can be disorienting for the audience.
The dialogue between the Doorman and the group at the gate feels a bit rushed and lacks depth, missing an opportunity for character development.
The Doorman's sudden change of attitude from skepticism to acceptance feels forced and could be more subtly portrayed.
The interaction with the Doorman could be more engaging and dynamic to add tension and intrigue to the scene.
The visual elements of the scene could be enhanced to create a more immersive and visually appealing setting for the audience.

Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition between the Witch's curse and the group in the poppy field to improve the flow of the scene.
Develop the dialogue between the Doorman and the group to add depth to the characters and make the interaction more engaging.
Show a gradual shift in the Doorman's attitude towards the group to make his acceptance more believable and organic.
Enhance the visual elements of the scene to create a more captivating and visually stimulating environment for the audience.
Explore ways to increase tension and intrigue in the interaction with the Doorman to keep the audience engaged and interested in the scene.

Scene 24 - The Merry Old Land of Oz

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

CABBY
Cabby! Cabby! Just what you're looking
for! Take you any place in the City, we
does.

MLS -- Cabby on seat of cab -- Dorothy and Group standing alongside --
CAMERA TRUCKS forward on Cabby --

DOROTHY
Well, would you take us to see the Wizard?

CABBY
The Wizard? The Wizard? I -- can't --
Well -- Yes, of course. But first I'll
take you to a little place where you
can....

MCS -- Dorothy -- Lion -- Tin Man and Scarecrow -- CAMERA PULLS back as
they climb into cab -- Dorothy looks at horse -- reacts -- speaks to Cabby
-- CAMERA TRUCKS back as Cabby drives forward -- singing -- people wave to
Cabby --

CABBY o.s.
...tidy up a bit -- what?

DOROTHY
Oh, thank you so much. We've been gone
such a long time, and we feel so mess --
What kind of a horse is that? I've never
seen a horse like that before!
CABBY
No -- and never will again, I fancy.
There's only one of him, and he's it. He's
the Horse of a Different Color, you've heard
tell about.
(sings)
Ha -- ha -- ha --
Ho -- ho -- ho --
And a couple of tra -- la -- las.
That's how we laugh the day away
In the Merry Old Land of Oz.
Bzz -- bzz -- bzz --
Chirp -- Chirp -- Chirp --
And a couple of la -- di....

LS -- Cabby -- Dorothy and group riding thru street of Oz -- people gather
around -- wave --

CABBY
(sings)
...das --
That's how the crickets crick all day
In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
We get up at twelve....

MCS -- Cabby driving cab as he sings -- Dorothy -- Lion and others in cab
-- crowd following --

CABBY
(sings)
...And start to work at one
Take an hour for lunch....

LS -- Cab moving to right thru Street of Oz -- Crowd following -- CAMERA
PANS right -- Cab stops -- Dorothy and others get out -- CAMERA TRUCKS
forward as they exit into building -- sign above door reads: WASH & BRUSH
UP CO. --

CABBY
(sings)
...And then at two we're done
Jolly good fun!
Ha -- ha -- ha --
Ho -- ho -- ho --
And a couple of tra -- la -- las.
That's how we laugh the day away
In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
Ha -- ha -- ha --
Ho -- ho -- ho --
Ha -- ha -- ha -- ha --
That's how we laugh the day away
With a ho -- ho -- ho
Ha -- ha -- ha
In the Merry Old Land of Oz!

MLS -- Three Masseurs filling the Scarecrow with new straw -- they sing as
they work -- CAMERA TRUCKS back to left showing men polishing the Tin Man
-- they sing -- CAMERA TRUCKS back showing girls doing Dorothy's hair --
they sing -- CAMERA PANS left showing girls clipping the Lion -- all sing
-- Dorothy -- Tin Man and Scarecrow -- Lion rises -- the Four of them
start out -- CAMERA PANS left --
MASSEURS
(sing)
Pat, pat here,
Pat, pat there,
And a couple of brand new strawz.
That's how we keep you young and fair
In the Merry Old Land of Oz.

POLISHERS
(sing)
Rub, rub here,
Rub, rub there,
And whether you're tin or brahz.
That's how we keep you in repair
In the Merry Old Land of Oz!

MASSEUSE
(sings)
We can make a dimpled smile out of a
frown --

DOROTHY
(sings)
Can you even dye my eyes to match my gown?

MASSEUSE
Uh-huh.

DOROTHY
Jolly old town!

MANICURISTS
(sing)
Clip, clip here,
Clip, clip there.
We give the roughest clawz

LION
That certain air of savoir faire
In the Merry Old Land of Oz!

SCARECROW
Ha -- ha -- ha --

TIN MAN
Ho -- ho --ho

DOROTHY
Ho -- ho --ho -- ho

LION
Hah!

ALL
(sing)
That's how we laugh the day away
In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
That's how we laugh....

Genres: ["Musical","Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary Dorothy and her friends meet a friendly cabby who takes them to the Wash & Brush Up Co. to prepare for their meeting with the Wizard. While there, they are pampered and made to look their best.

Strengths

Lively musical number
Character camaraderie and unity
Vibrant setting of the Emerald City

Weaknesses

Minimal conflict
Lack of character development

Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from the group traveling to see the Wizard to suddenly being at a place to tidy up without a clear connection or explanation.
The dialogue between Dorothy and the Cabby feels rushed and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to add more character development or interaction.
The song sung by the Cabby, while whimsical, feels disconnected from the overall narrative and slows down the pacing of the scene.
The visual elements of the scene, such as the Horse of a Different Color and the crowd waving, could be more seamlessly integrated into the storytelling.
The scene lacks a clear purpose or progression in terms of advancing the plot or character arcs, making it feel like a filler moment in the overall story.

Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition to the scene where the group decides to stop and tidy up, providing a clearer reason for this detour.
Enhance the dialogue between Dorothy and the Cabby to add depth to their interaction and further develop their characters.
Shorten the song sung by the Cabby to maintain the pacing of the scene and ensure it aligns more closely with the narrative.
Integrate the visual elements more organically into the scene to enhance the storytelling and create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Ensure that each scene serves a clear purpose in advancing the plot or developing the characters to avoid any filler moments in the screenplay.

Scene 25 - The Wicked Witch's Threat

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 7

LS -- Dorothy and Group come out into Street -- all singing -- CAMERA
TRUCKS back as they start forward -- Dorothy looks up to sky -- reacts --
ALL
(sing)
...the day away -- Ha -- ha -- ha -- (etc.)
In the Merry Old Land of Oz!
Ha -- ha -- ha --
Ho -- Ho - ho --

MS -- Tin Man -- Scarecrow -- Dorothy and Lion -- crowd in b.g. -- all
looking up to sky -- they react --

LION
Who's her? Who's her?

DOROTHY
It's the Witch! She's followed us here!

TIN MAN
Can't that female take no for an answer?

DOROTHY
Oh --

CUE VOICE
S-u-r-r-e-n-d-e-r- Dorothy or die! W. W. W.

CS -- Two Oz women looking up to sky --

OZ WOMAN
Dorothy? Who's Dorothy?

MCS -- Two Oz Women run to right -- CAMERA PANS --

OZ WOMAN
The Wizard will explain it!

CS -- Man and Woman looking up to the sky --

MAN
To the Wizard!

MCS- Oz Man speaks -- others run thru in b.g. --

MAN
To the Wizard!

MS -- Tin Man -- Scarecrow -- Dorothy and Lion react --

DOROTHY
Dear, whatever shall we do?

SCARECROW
Well, we'd better hurry if we're going to
see the Wizard!

LS -- Dorothy and group run out at right -- crowd following --

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

LS -- Crowd of Townsfolk moving thru Street of Oz - CAMERA TRUCKS back --

LS -- Crowd moving to b.g. to steps of Palace -- Guard on steps -- speaks
and gestures --
GUARD
Here -- here -- here -- wait a minute! Wait
a minute! Stop - stop - stop! It's all
right!

MS - Guard speaks and gestures -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward

GUARD
Every -- It's all right! Everything is all
right! The Great and Powerful Oz has got
matters well in hand - I hope -- So you can
all go....

LS -- Crowd in street in front of Palace -- Guard in f.g. -- speaks to
them --

GUARD
...home -- and there's nothing to worry
about.

MLS -- Dorothy -- Tin Man -- Scarecrow and Lion making their way thru
crowd -- CAMERA PANS them to right to Guard on steps --

GUARD o.s.
Get out of here now -- go on! Go on home
-- I - I -- go home.

MS -- Dorothy -- Tin Man -- Scarecrow and Lion -- Camera shooting past
Guard at right f.g. --

DOROTHY
If you please, sir. We want to see the
Wizard right away -- all four of us.

MS -- Guard -- Camera shooting past Dorothy and Group in f.g. --

GUARD
Orders are -- nobody can see the Great Oz!
Not nobody -- not nohow!

MS - Dorothy and Group - Camera past Guard at sight f.g. -

DOROTHY
Oh, but we must!

MS - Guard - Camera past Dorothy and Group in b.g. - Guard speaks and
gestures -

GUARD
Orders are - not nobody! Not nohow!

MS - Dorothy and group - Camera past Guard at right -

GUARD
He's in conference with himself on account
of this....

CS - Guard - Camera shooting past Dorothy -

GUARD
...trouble with the Witch. And even if he
wasn't you wouldn't have been able to see
him anyway on account of nobody has - not
even us in the Palace!
MS - Dorothy - Tin Man - Scarecrow and Lion - Camera shooting past Guard
at right -

DOROTHY
Oh, but -- but please. It's very important.

LION
And -- and I got a permanent just for the
occasion.

GUARD
Not nobody! Not....

CU - Horn inside of Guard's cape -

GUARD o.s.
...nohow!

CS - Guard - Camera shooting past Dorothy -

GUARD
Pardon me. We've gotta change the guards.

MS - Guard - Camera shooting past Dorothy and Group - CAMERA PANS right as
Guard crosses to Sentry house - sentry house revolves -

CS - Guard in Sentry House - turns fake mustache upside down -

MLS - Guard steps out of Sentry house - CAMERA PANS left as he comes
forward to Dorothy and Group - CAMERA TRUCKS forward -

GUARD
Now - what do you want?

DOROTHY AND OTHERS
We want to see the Wizard.

GUARD
Not nobody! Not....

MLS -- Dorothy and Group at left -- Guard at right --

GUARD
...nohow!

TIN MAN
That's what the other man said.

SCARECROW
But she's Dorothy!

CS -- Guard reacts -- speaks -- Camera past Dorothy and Scarecrow in
f.g. --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Musical","Adventure"]

Summary As Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, and the Lion walk down the streets of Oz, they see the Wicked Witch of the West in the sky. The Lion panics, and Dorothy realizes that she has followed them to Oz. The witch's disembodied voice tells Dorothy to surrender or die. The group decides to seek the help of the Wizard, but the guard at the palace refuses to let them in.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Dynamic character interactions
Whimsical and magical tone

Weaknesses

Some repetitive dialogue
Lack of deeper exploration of character motivations

Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension despite the presence of the Wicked Witch of the West. The characters' reactions to the Witch's threat could be more intense to convey the danger they are in.
The dialogue between the characters and the Guard feels repetitive and could be more dynamic. Adding more depth to the interaction could make the scene more engaging.
The pacing of the scene could be improved to create a more suspenseful atmosphere as the characters try to gain entry to see the Wizard. The back and forth between the Guard and the group could be more intense and dramatic.
The visual elements in the scene could be enhanced to reflect the magical and fantastical world of Oz. Adding more vibrant colors and whimsical details could make the scene more visually appealing.
The resolution of the conflict with the Guard feels rushed and lacks a satisfying conclusion. Building up the tension and stakes of the situation could make the scene more impactful.

Suggestions

Consider adding more intense reactions from the characters to the presence of the Wicked Witch of the West to heighten the sense of danger.
Revise the dialogue between the characters and the Guard to make it more dynamic and engaging.
Work on pacing to create a more suspenseful atmosphere as the characters try to gain entry to see the Wizard.
Enhance the visual elements in the scene to reflect the magical world of Oz with vibrant colors and whimsical details.
Develop the resolution of the conflict with the Guard to provide a more satisfying conclusion to the scene.

Scene 26 - The Lion's Coronation

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

GUARD
The Witch's Dorothy? Well -- that makes a
difference. Just wait here -- I'll announce
you at once.

MS -- Guard shoulders his sword - CAMERA PANS him to right -- he exits
into Palace --

At the Palace Gates -- MCS -- Tin Man, Dorothy, Scarecrow and the Lion as
they look o.s. to right, react -- they speak -- the Lion moves away from
them and steps up on the terraced garden -- CAMERA BOOMS forward to left --
he starts to sing --

SCARECROW
Did you hear that? He'll announce us at
once! I've as good as got my brain!

TIN MAN
I can fairly hear my heart beating!

DOROTHY
I'll be home in time for supper!

LION
In another hour, I'll be King of the Forest.
Long Live the King!
(sings)
If....

CS -- The Lion sings --

LION
(sings)
...I were King of the Forest,
Not Queen, not Duke, not Prince....

MLS -- The Scarecrow, Dorothy and Tin Man group about in front of the Lion
as he sings --

LION
(sings)
My regal robes of the forest....

CS -- Lion sings -- gestures --

LION
(sings)
Would be satin, and not cotton, and not
chintz.
I'd command each thing, be it fish or fowl.

MCU -- Lion sings --

LION
(sings)
With a woof and a woof, and a royal growl.
As....

MLS -- Scarecrow, Dorothy and Tin Man listening to the Lion --

LION
(sings)
...I'd click my heel
All the trees would kneel
And the mountains bow
And the bulls kowtow

MCU -- Lion -- gestures, grimaces and sings --

LION
(sings)
And the sparrow would take wing
'F -- I...'f -- I...were King!
MS - The Guard opens the peep window of the doors and looks o.s. to f.g.
- reacts to the song - CAMERA TRUCKS forward on him -

LION o.s.
(sings)
Each rabbit would show respect to me. The
chipmunks...

MCS -- Lion continues with song -- gestures magnificently as he concludes--

LION
(sings)
...genuflect to me.
Though my tail would lash
I would show compash
For every underling.
'F -- I...'f -- I --- were King
Just King!....

MS - Lion standing in left f.g. as he finishes song - Scarecrow, Dorothy
and Tin Man in front of him - they bow, then dance about as they sing -
then kneel down -

ALL
(sing)
Each rabbit would show respect to him
The chipmunks genuflect to him

SCARECROW
And his wife would be Queen of the May.

MCS - Lion -

LION
I'd be monarch of all I survey....

LS - Scarecrow, Dorothy and Tin Man bow -- then a carpet is rolled down in
front of the Lion -- all come forward as the CAMERA PULLS back -- Dorothy
acts as flower girl -- they come forward to royal robe -- it is placed on
the Lion, as they turn about, then start back to the throne -- the Tin Man
crowns the Lion with a half of a flower pot --

LION
(sings)
Monarch of all I survey....

MCU -- Lion sings -- laughs -- speaks --

LION
(sings)
Mah -- hah -- hah -- hah -- hah -- hah --
hah -- hah -- hah -- ha-narch!
(laughs)
Of all I survey!

MLS -- Scarecrow, Dorothy and Tin Man bow before the Lion as he concludes
-- Dorothy kneels, speaks -- Lion moves down from the terrace garden and
comes forward as the others question him -- CAMERA TRUCKS back to right
with them -- Lion starts up the Palace steps --

DOROTHY
Your Majesty, if you were king
You wouldn't be afraid of anything?
LION
Not nobody, not nohow!

TIN MAN
Not even a rhinoceros?

LION
Imposserous!

DOROTHY
How about a hippopotamus?

LION
Why, I'd thrash him from top to bottomamus!

DOROTHY
Supposin' you met an elephant?

LION
I'd wrap him up in cellophant!

SCARECROW
What if it were a brontosaurus?

LION
I'd show him who was King of the Fores'!

ALL
How?

LION
How?

MCU -- Lion explains --

Genres: ["Musical","Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary The Guard escorts the company to the Palace, where the Lion sings about becoming King of the Forest. Others join in the song, dancing and singing. They hold a mock coronation, with Dorothy as the flower girl, the Tin Man crowning the Lion, and the Scarecrow as the Queen. The Lion asks if he would be afraid of anything, and the company suggests different animals. He replies he would defeat them all. He then ascends the Palace steps as the others look on.

Strengths

Engaging character development
Humorous dialogue
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some elements may be predictable
Limited focus on other characters

Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the group is trying to see the Wizard and facing obstacles.
The song sung by the Lion, while entertaining, feels out of place and disrupts the flow of the scene.
The dialogue between the characters, while playful, does not contribute much to the overall plot or character development.
The visual elements could be enhanced to create a more dynamic and engaging scene.
The transition from the previous scene to this one could be smoother to maintain continuity.

Suggestions

Consider adding more stakes or obstacles for the group to overcome in their quest to see the Wizard.
Revisit the song sung by the Lion to ensure it aligns with the tone and pacing of the scene.
Focus on dialogue that moves the plot forward or reveals more about the characters' motivations.
Enhance the visual elements by incorporating more movement or dynamic camera angles.
Work on creating a seamless transition between scenes to maintain the flow of the story.

Scene 27 - A Call to Courage

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

LION
Courage!
What makes a King out of a slave? Courage!

MLS -- Lion explains to Scarecrow, Tin Man and Dorothy

LION
What makes the flag on the mast to wave?
Courage!

CU - The Guard sticks his head out of the peep window in the gates - looks
o.s. to f.g. - CAMERA TRUCKS forward on him -

LION o.s.
What makes the elephant charge his tusk
In the misty....

MCU -- Lion --

LION
...mist, or the dusky dusk?
What makes the muskrat guard his musk?
Courage!

MLS -- Scarecrow, Tin Man and Dorothy listening to the Lion --
LION
What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder?
Courage!
What makes the dawn come up like thunder?
Courage!
What makes the Hottentot so hot?
What puts the "ape" in apricot?
What have they got that I ain't got?

MCS -- Shooting past the Lion to the Scarecrow, Dorothy and Tin Man --
they all speak --

ALL
Courage!

MCU -- Lion speaks, then reacts --

LION
You can say that again! Hah. Huh!?

MS -- Tin Man, Dorothy and Scarecrow standing in front of Lion -- all
react as the Guard comes forward from b.g. -- roars at them -- then enters
the palace -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward as Dorothy begins to cry -- the others
try to comfort her --

GUARD
Go on home! The Wizard says go away!

ALL
Go away?

DOROTHY
Oh --

SCARECROW
Looks like we came a long way for nothing.

DOROTHY
Oh -- and I was so happy! I thought I was
on my way home!

TIN MAN
Don't cry, Dorothy!

CU -- The Guard looks out through the peep window to o.s. f.g. - CAMERA
TRUCKS forward --

TIN MAN o.s.
We're going to get you to the Wizard.

SCARECROW o.s.
We certainly are! How? How are we?

CS -- Tin Man, Lion and Scarecrow grouped about Dorothy - Lion and
Scarecrow speak -- Dorothy speaks as she sobs --

LION
Would...would it do any good if I roared?

SCARECROW
Who at?

LION
I don't know.
DOROTHY
Auntie Em was so good to me -- and I never
appreciated it. Running away -- and hurting
her feelings.

CU -- Dorothy sobs, then speaks to the others o.s. --

DOROTHY
Professor Marvel said she was sick. She may
be dying -- and -- and it's all my fault!

CU -- The Guard, with streams of tears pouring down his cheeks --

CU -- Dorothy sobbing --

DOROTHY
Oh, I'll never forgive myself! Never --
never -- never!

MS -- The Guard looking out window -- he sobs -- speaks -- CAMERA PULLS
back to enter Dorothy and her three friends -- the Guard exits from the
window -- Dorothy and the others rise as the gates to palace open - a long
corridor seen in b.g. -- they start cautiously forward down it -- CAMERA
TRUCKS forward --

GUARD
Oh, oh -- please don't cry any more. I'll
get you into the Wizard somehow. Come on.
I had an Aunt Em myself once.

Int. Corridor -- MS -- CAMERA TRUCKS back ahead of the Scarecrow, Lion,
Dorothy and Tin Man as they come forward -- they stop at intervals, keep
the Lion from running back -- then they tip-toe forward -- react to echo --

LION
Wait a minute, fellahs. I was just
thinkin'. I really don't want to see the
Wizard this much. I better wait for you
outside.

SCARECROW
What's the matter?

TIN MAN
Oh, he's just ascared again.

DOROTHY
Don't you know the Wizard's going to give
you some courage?

LION
I'd be too scared to ask him for it.

DOROTHY
Oh, well, then -- we'll ask him for you.

LION
I'd sooner wait outside.

DOROTHY
But why? Why?

LION
Because I'm still scared!
DOROTHY
Oh, come on.

LION
Ohh!

SCARECROW
What happened?

LION
Somebody pulled my tail.

SCARECROW
Oh, you did it yourself!

LION
I -- Oh --

SCARECROW
Here -- Come on.

LION
What was that?

Genres: ["Musical","Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary The Lion rallies his companions with a stirring speech on bravery before they encounter the imposing Guard. Convinced by their support, the Lion overcomes his fear. Despite the Guard's initial resistance, they are swayed by Dorothy's tears and agree to assist the group. The quartet then cautiously ventures into the Wizard's palace.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character growth
Humor

Weaknesses

Limited external conflict
Some repetitive dialogue

Critique

The scene starts with a powerful and rousing speech by the Lion about courage, which sets a strong tone for the characters' journey. However, the transition from the Lion's speech to the Guard's interruption feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
There is a lack of clarity in the conflict resolution in this scene. The Guard initially refuses to let the group see the Wizard, but then quickly changes his mind without a clear reason or resolution to the conflict.
The emotional depth of Dorothy's realization about her Aunt Em and her feelings of guilt could be further explored and emphasized to create a more impactful moment.
The dialogue between the characters, especially the Lion's reluctance to face his fears, adds depth to their personalities. However, the back and forth between the characters could be tightened to maintain the pacing of the scene.
The visual elements of the scene, such as the Guard's emotional reaction and the characters' interactions, could be enhanced to create a more visually engaging and dynamic scene.

Suggestions

Consider refining the transition between the Lion's speech and the Guard's interruption to create a more seamless flow of the scene.
Provide a clearer resolution to the conflict with the Guard to ensure that the progression of the scene feels more cohesive.
Amplify the emotional impact of Dorothy's realization about her Aunt Em by allowing the moment to breathe and focusing on her internal conflict.
Streamline the dialogue between the characters to maintain the pacing of the scene while still allowing for character development.
Enhance the visual elements of the scene to create a more visually engaging and dynamic portrayal of the characters' emotions and interactions.

Scene 28 - An Audience with Oz

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 9

DOROTHY
Our echo.

OZ'S VOICE
Tap - tap - tap - tap - What was that -
that - that? Our echo - echo - echo.

MLS - The Lion starts to bolt, but the others grab him - Dorothy speaks as
they face down corridor to b.g. - Voice of Oz heard -

DOROTHY
Oh, come on - come on! We'll soon find the
Wizard!

OZ'S VOICE
The Wizard - The Wizard - The Great and
Powerful Wizard of Oz - Oz - Oz-Oz - Oz -
Oz - Oz - Oz!

ELS -- Shooting down the corridor to the doors at the end -- they open as
the voice of Oz booms out --

OZ'S VOICE
The Great Wizard of Oz. Come forward!

MS -- Scarecrow, Lion, Dorothy and Tin Man come forward - the Lion speaks,
hides his eyes --

LION
Tell me when it's over! Oh!

ELS -- The four move down the corridor to the b.g. --

LS -- Int. Throne Room -- The Four enter through door at left -- CAMERA
PANS them right as they move toward center of room -- they react as they
see the throne in the b.g. -- flame and smoke belching forth from the
throne --
LION
Oh! Look at that! Look at that! Oh --
Ohhhh -- I want to go home -- I want to go
home!

LS -- Throne -- fire and smoke issuing forth --

OZ'S VOICE
I am Oz, the Great and Powerful!

MLS -- The Four trembling and shaking with fear --

OZ'S VOICE
Who are you?

LS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
Who are you?

MLS -- The Four react with fear -- the others shove Dorothy forward -- she
comes forward, speaks --

DOROTHY
I -- If you please, I - I am Dorothy,

MCU -- Dorothy -- speaks, looks back at the others --

DOROTHY
...the small and meek. We've come to ask
you --

ELS -- Throne -- flame and smoke pouring out --

OZ'S VOICE
Silence!

MCU -- Dorothy reacts, turns and runs back to the others --

MLS -- Dorothy returns to the other three -- speaks -

DOROTHY
Ohhh -- Jiminy Crickets!

ELS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
The Great and Powerful Oz knows why you
have come. Step forward,....

MLS -- The Four -- the Tin Man shakes, speaks - comes wobbling forward --

OZ'S VOICE
...Tin Man!

TIN MAN
Ohhhh -- it's me!

LS - Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
You dare to come to me for a heart, do you?
You clinking, clanking, clattering
collection of caliginous....
MCU -- Tin Man trembling with fear -- he speaks, then reacts as the Voice
booms out -- turns to run --

OZ'S VOICE
...junk!

TIN MAN
Ohhhh -- yes...yes, sir -- Y-Yes, your
Honor. You see, a while back, we were
walking down the Yellow Brick Road, and --

OZ'S VOICE
Quiet!

TIN MAN
Ohhhhhh!

LS -- The Tin Man runs back to Dorothy, Lion and the Scarecrow as flames
pour from the throne in b.g. -- the Voice speaks -- the Scarecrow almost
collapses -- then moves forward and salaams in front of the throne --

OZ'S VOICE
And you, Scarecrow, have the effrontery to
ask for a brain?

MLS -- Scarecrow kneeling in f.g. as the other three watch from the b.g. --
he speaks -- salaams --

OZ'S VOICE
You billowing bale of bovine fodder!

SCARECROW
Y-Yes -- Yes, Your Honor -- I mean, Your
Excellency -- I -- I mean -- Your Wizardry!

LS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
Enough!

MLS -- Scarecrow rises, runs back to Lion, Tin Man and Dorothy --

OZ'S VOICE
...Uh -- And you,....

LS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
...Lion!

MLS -- Scarecrow, Dorothy, Lion and Tin Man -- the Lion groans with fear
as he comes slowly forward --

DOROTHY AND SCARECROW
Oh -- Oh -- Ohhhh!

LS -- Throne --

MCU -- Lion tries to speak -- faints and falls back --

MLS -- The Lion falls to the floor -- Dorothy and the others run forward
to him --
DOROTHY
Oh -- Oh -- Oh!....

MCS -- Scarecrow and Dorothy bending over Lion -- Dorothy reacts, turns
and speaks as she looks toward the throne o.s. in f.g. --

DOROTHY
...You ought to be ashamed of yourself --
frightening him like that, when he came to
you for help!

ELS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
Silence!....

MLS -- The Four -- Dorothy and Scarecrow sit down as they react to Oz's
Voice --

OZ'S VOICE
...Whippersnapper!

MLS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
The beneficent Oz has every intention of
granting....

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary Dorothy and her companions approach the Great and Powerful Oz, who interrogates their desires. The Lion faints in fear, prompting Dorothy to defend him against Oz's intimidation.

Strengths

Powerful dialogue
Emotional depth
Character development

Weaknesses

Some characters' reactions may feel exaggerated

Critique

The scene lacks a clear structure and purpose, leading to a lack of focus and coherence in the dialogue and character interactions.
The dialogue feels disjointed and repetitive, with characters speaking in a fragmented manner that does not flow naturally.
The introduction of Oz's voice as a booming presence creates a sense of intimidation, but the execution falls short in building tension and suspense.
The reactions of the characters to Oz's voice and commands feel exaggerated and melodramatic, detracting from the authenticity of the scene.
The transitions between character interactions and Oz's responses are abrupt and do not allow for a smooth progression of the scene.

Suggestions

Clarify the objectives of each character in the scene to create a more cohesive and purposeful interaction with Oz.
Refine the dialogue to be more fluid and natural, allowing for a better exchange between characters and Oz.
Build tension and suspense by enhancing the presence of Oz through subtle cues and reactions from the characters.
Focus on the emotional depth of the characters' responses to Oz's commands to add layers of complexity to the scene.
Smooth out the transitions between character actions and Oz's responses to create a more seamless and engaging scene.

Scene 29 - Into the Haunted Forest

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

MCS -- Scarecrow and Dorothy bending over Lion -- the Lion revives, sits
up, speaks -- Dorothy starts to pull him up --

OZ'S VOICE
...your requests!

LION
What's that? What'd he say?

DOROTHY
Oh -- Oh, come on.

LION
Huh? What'd he say?

MS -- Dorothy helps the Lion to his feet -- the four of them listen as Oz
speaks --

OZ'S VOICE
But first, you must prove yourselves worthy
by performing a very small task.

LS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
Bring me the broomstick of the Witch...

MS -- The Four, trembling with fear -- the Tin Man speaks --

OZ'S VOICE
...of the West.

TIN MAN
B-B-B-B-B-But if we do that, we'll have to
kill her to get it!
LS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
Bring me her broomstick, and I'll grant your
requests.

MS - The trembling Four -- the Lion starts to speak --

OZ'S VOICE
Now, go!

LION
But -- but what if she kills us first?

OZ'S VOICE
... I ....

MLS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
...said, -Go!

MS -- The Four -- the Lion jumps with fright --

LS -- The Four standing in front of the throne in b.g. -- CAMERA PANS left
with the Lion as he runs out of the throne room and into the corridor --

ELS -- shooting down the length of the corridor -- the Lion comes running
forward toward camera -- CAMERA PANS left with him as he dives through
window to exit --

FADE OUT:

FADE IN -- TRUCKING SHOT of weird trees of the Haunted Forest -- PANS DOWN
to sign post --

HAUNTED FOREST
WITCHES CASTLE
1 MILE

I'D TURN
BACK IF I
WERE YOU!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

LS -- Dorothy -- Scarecrow -- Tin Man and Lion walking thru forest -- they
walk forward -- CAMERA TRUCKS ahead of them -- they stop -- look at the
sign post --

MCS -- Dorothy -- Scarecrow -- Lion and Tin Man looking at sign -- Lion
reads -- nods -- turns to b.g. -- Tin Man and Scarecrow stop him -- the
others shake their head -- CAMERA TRUCKS back as they walk forward again --
Lion growling -- they react to noise o.s. --

LION
"I'd turn back if I were you."
(growls)

CS -- Two owls on limb of tree --

MS -- Dorothy -- Scarecrow -- Lion and Tin Man react -- Lion runs to b.g.
-- Scarecrow and Tin Man catch him -- carry him forward -- he cries --
CS -- Two crows on limb of tree --

MS - Dorothy and group - they speak - Lion hands spray to Dorothy -
Scarecrow takes the spray - throws it o.s. right -

TIN MAN
From now on, we're on enemy ground. You
should have something to protect yourself
with.

LION
She - she can have my Witch Remover.

DOROTHY
Does it work?

LION
No, but it's wonderful for threatening with.

DOROTHY
Oh --

SCARECROW
Oh, here - give me that thing!

MLS - Spray hits the ground - then vanishes -

MS - Dorothy and Group react - speak - net flies out of Lion's hand - all
react -

SCARECROW
Oh, did - did you see that?

TIN MAN
Oh - look out.

SCARECROW
You know something?

MCU -- Lion and Scarecrow --

SCARECROW
I believe they're spooks around here.

MCU -- Dorothy and Tin Man --

TIN MAN
That's ridiculous! Spooks -- that's....

MCU -- Lion and Scarecrow --

TIN MAN o.s.
...silly.

LION
Don't you believe in spooks?

MS -- Dorothy and group -- Tin Man goes up out of scene -- others react --

TIN MAN
No. Why only -- Oh --

DOROTHY
Oh! Oh, Tin Man! Oh!
LS -- Dorothy -- Lion and Scarecrow watching Tin Man -- he falls to ground
in f.g. -- Dorothy and Scarecrow run forward -- help him up --

DOROTHY
Oh -- Oh --

SCARECROW
Oh -- are you -- are you all right?

CS -- Lion, his eyes closed tight -- speaks --

LION
I do believe in spooks, I do believe in
spooks. I do -- I do -- I do -- I do -- I
do -- I....

MS -- Image of Lion in Crystal -- Witch and Winged Monkeys looking into
crystal -- Image of Lion fades out -- CAMERA PANS left as Witch runs
around -- goes to Winged Monkeys -- she speaks to them -- CAMERA TRUCKS
forward -- Winged Monkeys fly out -- others flying thru in b.g. -- CAMERA
TRUCKS back --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary The revived Lion and his companions accept Oz's task to retrieve the Witch of the West's broomstick. Venturing into the ominous Haunted Forest, they encounter a warning sign and realize the impending danger.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Character development
Tension and suspense

Weaknesses

Some cliched elements
Predictable character reactions

Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from the intimidating presence of Oz to the group being tasked with bringing the broomstick of the Witch of the West without much buildup or explanation.
The dialogue feels rushed and lacks depth, with characters expressing fear and concern in a superficial manner.
The visual descriptions are minimal, making it difficult to fully visualize the setting and character interactions.
The scene lacks emotional depth and fails to fully explore the characters' reactions to the daunting task assigned to them.
There is a lack of tension and suspense in the scene, which is crucial for maintaining audience engagement.

Suggestions

Consider adding more dialogue that delves into the characters' emotions and motivations, providing insight into their fears and concerns.
Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and vivid setting, capturing the tension and urgency of the moment.
Build up the transition from Oz's presence to the task assigned to the group, creating a smoother flow of events.
Add layers to the characters' reactions, allowing for a deeper exploration of their individual struggles and fears.
Introduce more suspense and tension throughout the scene to keep the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.

Scene 30 - The Jitterbug Attack

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

LION
...do believe in spooks. I do believe in
spooks! I do -- I do -- I do -- I do -- I
do -- I do!

WITCH
(laughs)
You'll believe in more than that before
I've finished with you. Take your army to
the Haunted Forest, and bring me that girl
and her dog! Do what you like with the
others, but I want her alive and unharmed!
They'll give you no trouble, I promise you
that. I've sent a little insect on ahead
to take the fight out of them. Take special
care of those ruby slippers. I want those
most of all. Now, fly! Fly! Bring me that
girl and her slippers! Fly! Fly! Fly!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

LS - Dorothy - Scarecrow - Tin Man and Lion walking forward thru Haunted
Forest - Lion yells -

MCU - Lion growling - Jitterbug on his nose - he looks down at it - speaks
- CAMERA TRUCKS back - Tin Man slaps the bug away -

LION
What's that? What's that? Take it away -
take it away - Take it away!
(cries)

TIN MAN
Hold still - hold still --

MLS - Scarecrow - Dorothy - Tin Man and Lion - Dorothy jumps as Jitterbug
bites her leg - Tin Man speaks - all start forward - Tin Man yells -
Dorothy takes bug off his neck - Bug bites Scarecrow - he jumps in the air
- falls to ground - jumps up again - CAMERA PANS the Four to right - they
react to quivering trees and noise - CAMERA TRUCKS back - Dorothy and
others tremble and move about as they sing -
DOROTHY
Oh! Something bit me, too!

TIN MAN
Now come on - you're acting silly --
(yells)

SCARECROW
Oh, come on now - everybody --
(yells)

DOROTHY
(sings)
Did you just hear what I just heard?

LION
(sings)
That noise don't come from no ordinary bird.

DOROTHY
It may be just a cricket
Or a critter in the trees.

TIN MAN
It's giving me the jitters
In the joints around my knees.

CS - Scarecrow and Tin Man - CAMERA PANS to right to Lion and Dorothy -
each sing -

SCARECROW
Oh, I think I see a jijik
And he's fuzzy and he's furry
I haven't got a brain
But I think I ought to worry!

TIN MAN
I haven't got a heart
But I got a palpitation.

LION
As Monarch of the Forest
I don't like the situation.

DOROTHY
Are you gonna stand around
And let 'em fill us full of horror?

LION
I'd like to roar 'em down --
But I think I lost my roarer.

LS - Dorothy - Lion - Scarecrow and Tin Man running around - the tree
quivering -

MS - Scarecrow - Tin Man - Lion and Dorothy huddled together - looking
o.s. -

TIN MAN
It's a whozis.

SCARECROW
It's a whozis?
LION
It's a whatzis.

TIN MAN
It's a whatzis?

LION
Whozat?

TIN MAN
Whozat?

SCARECROW
Whozat?

MCS - Scarecrow - Tin Man - Lion and Dorothy - Dorothy steps forward -
sings - CAMERA PANS right as she dances back near Lion -

DOROTHY
Whozat?
Who's that hiding
In the tree top?
It's that rascal
The Jitter Bug.
Should you catch him
Buzzin' round you
Keep away from
The Jitter Bug!
Oh, the bats....

MS - Scarecrow - Tin Man - Lion and Dorothy - Dorothy singing - CAMERA
PANS - TRUCKS back as all dance -

DOROTHY
...and the bees
And the breeze in the trees
Have a terrible, horrible buzz.
But the bats and the bees
And the breeze in the trees
Couldn't do what the Jitter Bug does.
So be careful
Of that rascal
Keep away from --

SCARECROW - TIN MAN AND LION
-- The Jitter Bug!
Oh, The Jitter -
Oh, the Bug
Oh, the Jitter -

ALL
Bug-bug-a-bug-bug-bug-bug-bug-a-boo!

MS - Lion runs over by tree - tree catches hold of Lion's tail - Scarecrow
runs in - releases Lion - tree grabs Scarecrow - he finally gets free -
CAMERA PANS left as Scarecrow runs over to Dorothy held by another tree -
Tin Man starts to chop at tree - Limb of tree hits him over the head - Tin
Man staggers - throws axe o.s. - Lion enters - CAMERA TRUCKS as the four
dance -

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary In the Haunted Forest, the Lion, Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Dorothy are attacked by Jitterbugs. The bugs bite and sting the group, causing them to sing and dance erratically. A tree grabs hold of the Lion's tail, and another captures the Scarecrow. The Tin Man tries to chop down the tree but is knocked unconscious by a falling limb. Eventually, the group manages to free themselves and continue their journey.

Strengths

Engaging concept
Strong character development
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some repetitive dialogue
Slight predictability in character reactions

Critique

The scene in the Haunted Forest with the Jitterbugs introduces a new element of danger and suspense, which is a good way to build tension in the story. However, the execution of the scene could be improved to make it more impactful and engaging for the audience.
The dialogue between the characters, especially the Lion, Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Dorothy, feels a bit repetitive and lacks depth. Adding more meaningful interactions and character development could enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
The visual elements of the scene, such as the quivering trees and the Jitterbugs, create a sense of unease and mystery, but the choreography and blocking of the characters could be more dynamic to convey the sense of urgency and danger they are facing.
The transition from the Witch's command to the encounter with the Jitterbugs feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the story. Connecting the two elements more seamlessly would help the audience stay engaged and invested in the characters' journey.
Overall, the scene has potential to be a pivotal moment in the story, but it needs more depth in terms of character development, dialogue, and visual storytelling to fully captivate the audience.

Suggestions

Consider adding more depth to the characters' interactions and dialogue to convey their emotions and fears more effectively.
Enhance the visual elements of the scene by incorporating more dynamic choreography and blocking to create a sense of urgency and danger.
Work on smoothing out the transition between the Witch's command and the encounter with the Jitterbugs to maintain the flow of the story.
Focus on building tension and suspense throughout the scene to keep the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.
Consider revisiting the scene to refine the pacing, character development, and visual storytelling to make it a more impactful and memorable moment in the screenplay.

Scene 31 - The Attack of the Winged Monkeys

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 7
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

ALL
In a twitter
In the throes
SCARECROW
Oh, the critter's
Got me dancin' on a thousand toes.

TIN MAN
Thar she blows!

LS - Dorothy and Group dancing - Trees of the forest moving in rhythm -

MS - Lion and Tin Man dancing -

CS - Lion and Tin Man dancing -

LS - Tin Man - Lion - Dorothy and Scarecrow dancing -

MLS - The Four dancing -

ELS - The army of Winged Monkeys flying over Haunted Forest -

MLS - Dorothy and Group dancing - look up o.s. - react -

ELS -- The army of Winged Monkeys flying over Haunted Forest --

MLS -- Dorothy and Group react -- run to b.g.--

LS -- The Winged Monkeys fly down into forest -- CAMERA PANS RIGHT as they
fly down near Dorothy and group running to b.g. --

LS -- The Winged Monkeys landing -- run out at right --

ELS -- Shooting down as the Winged Monkeys land -- Dorothy and group exit
far b.g. --

LS -- The Winged Monkeys capturing the group -- Dorothy runs out right --

MLS -- The Winged Monkeys running after Dorothy -- CAMERA PANS right --

LS -- Dorothy runs forward -- two Winged Monkeys after her -- they exit
right f.g. --

MLS -- Tin Man swinging axe at the Winged monkeys --

TIN MAN
Go away now!

MLS -- Winged Monkeys tromping on the Scarecrow --

SCARECROW
Help! Help!

MS - Lion in center of group of monkeys - he doubles his fists - speaks
- Monkey in tree hits him over the head with axe -

LION
Why, I'll -- Foul! Foul!

LS -- Two Winged Monkeys running to b.g. with Dorothy - they swoop up into
the air -- exit upper b.g. --

MCS -- Toto runs forward -- looks up o.s. -- barks --

ELS -- Two Winged Monkeys carrying Dorothy -- Flying to right over haunted
forest --
MCS -- Toto barking -- Winged Monkey picks him up -- CAMERA PANS right as
he flies out with Toto --

ELS -- Army of Winged Monkeys flying to right over the Haunted Forest --

MLS -- The Winged Monkeys tearing Scarecrow apart -- Scarecrow yells --
the Winged Monkeys exit right -- Tin Man and Lion enter -- CAMERA TRUCKS
forward on them as Lion and Tin Man try to put Scarecrow together --

SCARECROW
Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

TIN MAN
Oh! Well, what happened to you?

SCARECROW
They tore my legs off, and they threw them
over there! Then they took my chest out,
and they threw it over there!

TIN MAN
Well, that's you all over.

LION
They sure knocked the stuffings out of you,
didn't they?

SCARECROW
Don't stand there talking! Put me together!
We've got to find Dorothy!

TIN MAN
Now, let' s see -- this goes -- Oh, I wish
I were better at puzzles.

LION
Wait a minute. This is the left one. He
walks bad enough already.

TIN MAN
Oh, poor Dorothy. We may never see her
again.

SCARECROW
Who do you suppose they were? And where did
they take her? A fine thing - to go to
pieces at a time like this!

TIN MAN
Now, now, don't fret.

SCARECROW
Oh, dear, dear.

TIN MAN
We'll get you together!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

CS -- Toto in Witch's lap -- CAMERA TRUCKS back -- Witch rises -- Nikko
standing at right -- Witch puts Toto in basket -- Dorothy at left f.g.
crying -- Witch turns to Dorothy -- speaks to her -- Nikko carries Toto to
b.g. -- Dorothy goes over to Nikko --
WITCH
What a nice little dog! And you, my dear.
What an unexpected pleasure! It's so kind
of you to visit me in my loneliness.

MCS -- Dorothy reacts -- turns -- speaks to Witch -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward
on them -- CAMERA PANS left as Witch crosses to Nikko -- speaks to him --

DOROTHY
What are you going to do with my dog? Give
him back to me!

WITCH
All in good time, my little pretty -- all
in good time.

DOROTHY
Oh, please give me back my dog!

WITCH
Certainly -- certainly -- when you give me
those slippers.

DOROTHY
But the Good Witch of the North told me not
to.

WITCH
Very well! Throw that basket in the river
and drown him!

MLS -- Dorothy crying -- speaks to Witch -- then steps up on step -- Witch
looks down at slippers on Dorothy's feet --

DOROTHY
No! No -- no! Here -- you can have your
old slippers -- but give me back Toto.

WITCH
That's a good little girl. I knew you'd
see reason.

CS -- Slippers on Dorothy's feet -- the hands of the Witch reach in --
begin to tremble --

CS -- Witch jumps back -- Dorothy reacts -- Witch looks at her -- hands --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary Dorothy and her friends are attacked by an army of Winged Monkeys. The monkeys capture everyone except Dorothy, who runs away. Dorothy is rescued by Toto, but the monkeys capture the Scarecrow and tear him apart. The Tin Man and the Lion try to put the Scarecrow back together, but they are unsuccessful. Dorothy is taken to the Wicked Witch of the West, who demands that Dorothy give her the ruby slippers. Dorothy refuses, and the Witch threatens to drown Toto. Dorothy gives the Witch the slippers, and the Witch gives Toto back to her.

Strengths

Effective blend of genres
Emotional depth in characters
Tension and stakes

Weaknesses

Some cliched dialogue
Predictable character reactions

Critique

The scene starts with a lively and chaotic dance sequence, which may be visually engaging but lacks clarity in terms of storytelling. The transition from the group dancing to the Winged Monkeys attacking is abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
The dialogue between the characters during the chaos of the Winged Monkeys attacking is a bit scattered and could be more focused to convey the urgency and danger of the situation. There is a lack of cohesive communication among the characters, which can make it challenging for the audience to follow the action.
The visual elements of the scene, such as the Winged Monkeys tearing apart the Scarecrow, could be more impactful if the consequences of the attack were shown in a clearer and more dramatic way. The emotional impact of the characters' distress and the urgency of the situation could be heightened through more effective visual storytelling.
The interaction between the characters, particularly the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion trying to put him back together, could be more dynamic and engaging. The dialogue and actions of the characters in this moment could be more focused on the urgency of finding Dorothy and the gravity of the situation they are in.
The scene ends with Dorothy being taken by the Winged Monkeys, which sets up a high-stakes situation. However, the transition to the next scene could be smoother to maintain the tension and suspense for the audience.

Suggestions

Consider refining the choreography of the dance sequence to better convey the chaos and danger of the Winged Monkeys attacking. Ensure that the transition between the dance and the attack is seamless and maintains the momentum of the scene.
Streamline the dialogue among the characters during the Winged Monkeys attack to focus on the urgency of the situation and the characters' determination to find Dorothy. Clarify the communication between the characters to enhance the audience's understanding of the action.
Enhance the visual storytelling of the Winged Monkeys attacking the group to emphasize the danger and consequences of the situation. Use visual cues to convey the emotional impact of the characters' distress and the urgency of finding Dorothy.
Revise the interaction between the characters as they try to put the Scarecrow back together to make it more dynamic and engaging. Focus on the gravity of the situation and the characters' determination to find Dorothy to heighten the tension of the scene.
Consider a smoother transition at the end of the scene to maintain the tension and suspense as Dorothy is taken by the Winged Monkeys. Ensure that the audience is left on the edge of their seats, eager to see what happens next.

Scene 32 - Dorothy's Impending Doom

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 7

WITCH
Ahh! Ah!

DOROTHY
I'm sorry. I didn't do it! Can I still
have my dog?

WITCH
No! Fool, that I am! I should have
remembered -- those slippers will never
come off, as long as...

CU -- Dorothy reacts -- speaks --

WITCH o.s.
...you're alive.
DOROTHY
What are you gonna do?

CU - Witch looks up o.s. - speaks -

WITCH
What do you thing I'm going to do? But
that's not what's worrying me -- it's how
to do it. These things must be done
delicately....

CS -- Toto sticks his head out of basket --

WITCH o.s.
...or you hurt the spell.

MS -- Witch and Dorothy -- Nikko standing by table in b.g. -- Toto jumps
out of basket -- runs out door in b.g. -- Dorothy speaks to Toto -- Witch
turns on Nikko -- he runs out in b.g. --

DOROTHY
Run, Toto, run!

WITCH
Catch him, you fool!

LS -- Toto running forward down steps -- Nikko after him -- CAMERA PANS
down to left with Toto --

MS -- Dorothy at window -- looking down o.s. -- Witch comes forward to
her --

MLS -- Toto runs forward over drawbridge as bridge starts up --

CS -- Toto on edge of drawbridge -- looks down o.s. --

MLS -- Toto on edge of drawbridge -- Guards run forward -- carrying spears
-- Toto jumps -- (Guards yell)

MS -- Toto jumps down among rocks --

DOROTHY o.s.
Run, Toto, run!

MLS -- Guards throwing spears o.s. -- all yelling --

MLS -- Toto running to b.g. -- spears fall around him -- Toto runs up
among rocks in b.g. --

DOROTHY o.s.
Run, Toto, run!

MCU -- Dorothy crying -- speaks --

DOROTHY
He got away! He got away!

MCS -- Dorothy and Witch -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward on them - Witch speaks
to Dorothy -- CAMERA TRUCKS as Witch hurries to b.g. --
WITCH
Ohhh! Which is more than you will! Drat
you and your dog! You've been more trouble
to me than you're worth, one way or another
-- but it'll soon be over now!

MCS -- Witch picks up huge hour glass -- turns it over -- speaks --

WITCH
Do you see that? That's how much longer
you've got to be alive! And it isn't....

CU -- Dorothy crying --

WITCH o.s.
...long, my pretty! It isn't long!

CS -- Witch looks o.s. -- speaks -- CAMERA PANS as she runs to b.g. --

WITCH
I can't wait forever to get those shoes!

CU -- Dorothy crying -- exits left --

MS -- Dorothy -- CAMERA PANS her left -- she crosses -- looks at hour
glass --

CU -- Hour Glass-

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

ELS - Toto jumping down rocky edge of mountains - (Toto barking)

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

MLS - Toto runs forward - looks o.s. - barks - exits left f.g. -

MS -- Ext. Haunted Forest -- the Lion and the Tin Man put the Scarecrow
back together -- they speak -- then react, look off to right as they hear
Toto barking o.s.

TIN MAN
There. Now, that's the best we can do
without any pins.

LION
Yeah --

SCARECROW
Oh, don't worry about me. I'm all right. We
must worry about Dorothy.

TIN MAN
But how can we find her? We don't even know
where she is. Look! There's....

LS -- Toto comes running forward through forest -- CAMERA PANS him left to
the Tin Man, Lion and Scarecrow --

TIN MAN o.s.
...Toto! Where's he come from?

CU -- Toto barks at the three o.s. in f.g. --
CS -- Lion, Scarecrow and Tin Man react, speak --

SCARECROW
Why, don't you see? He's come to take
us....

MLS -- The Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion react, rise -- Toto barks, leads
them as they run down trail to right b.g. -- CAMERA PANS with them --

SCARECROW
...to Dorothy!

TIN MAN
Oh --

SCARECROW
Come on, fellows!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

Int. Tower Room -- Close on the hour glass on the table -- CAMERA PULLS
back to reveal Dorothy standing by the table as she watches the sand run
through the glass -- she looks about desperately --

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

ELS -- The Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion making their way over rocky
hillside -- Toto barks as he waits for them

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

CU -- Toto makes his way over top of the rocks -- barks -- exits out to
right --

MS -- The Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow struggling up the rocks -- the Tin
Man slips --

ELS -- The Tin Man slips off the side of the rocks -- hangs to the Lion's
tail to keep from falling -- the Scarecrow tries to help him --

LION
Oh -- Oh -- Oh -- I....

MS -- the Tin Man hanging to Lion's tail -- they speak -- Scarecrow tries
to get up to help them both --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary The Witch realizes the slippers will never come off as long as Dorothy is alive. She turns on Nikko, who runs away, and Dorothy's dog, Toto, also escapes. The Witch tries to catch Toto, but he runs away over a drawbridge as it starts to rise. Toto jumps down among rocks, dodging spears thrown by guards. Dorothy watches in horror as the Witch turns over a huge hourglass, symbolizing the time Dorothy has left to live.

Strengths

Building tension
Character development
Emotional impact

Weaknesses

Potential for cliched dialogue
Lack of visual description

Critique

The scene lacks clarity in terms of the Witch's intentions and actions towards Dorothy and Toto. The dialogue and actions feel rushed and could benefit from more development to build tension and suspense.
The transition between Dorothy's emotional state in the tower room and the action in the Haunted Forest with Toto and the other companions feels disjointed. There needs to be a smoother transition to maintain the flow of the story.
The visual descriptions could be enhanced to create a more vivid and engaging picture of the scene. Adding more detail to the setting and character actions would help to immerse the audience in the story.
The emotional impact of Dorothy's predicament and the impending danger from the Witch could be heightened with more nuanced dialogue and character interactions. This would add depth to the scene and make it more compelling for the audience.
The scene could benefit from more suspense and tension-building elements to keep the audience engaged and invested in the outcome. Adding twists and turns in the plot would create a more dynamic and captivating scene.

Suggestions

Clarify the Witch's motives and actions towards Dorothy and Toto to create a more coherent and engaging conflict.
Smooth out the transition between Dorothy's emotional state in the tower room and the action in the Haunted Forest to maintain the narrative flow.
Enhance the visual descriptions to paint a more vivid picture of the scene and create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Develop the emotional depth of the scene through nuanced dialogue and character interactions to increase the impact on the audience.
Introduce more suspenseful elements and twists in the plot to keep the audience on the edge of their seats and make the scene more captivating.

Scene 33 - The Lion's Bravery

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 7

LION
...I -- I -- I hope my strength holds out.

TIN MAN
I hope your tail holds out. Oh --

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

CU - The Hour Glass - more sand in the bottom -

MCS - In. Tower Room - Dorothy watching the hour glass - CAMERA PANS with
her as she runs to the door, tries it - then runs to another door - finds
that locked, also - CAMERA TRUCKS forward slightly as she sobs, then turns
and comes slowly forward as the CAMERA PULLS back to left with her - she
begins to sing - CAMERA PANS her right as she sits, sobbing, by the
crystal of the Witch -
DOROTHY
(sings)
Someday, I'll wake and rub my eyes
And in that land beyond the skies
You'll find me ----

CU -- Toto makes his way over the top of the rocks and exits out to right
-- The Lion's head appears, followed by that of the Tin Man and Scarecrow
-- they look o.s. to f.g. -- Lion points, speaks --

LION
What's that? What's that?

MCU -- Tin Man, Lion and Scarecrow peering over the rocks, they speak --
Lion reacts as he watches down o.s. to f.g. --

SCARECROW o.s.
That's the castle of the Wicked Witch!
Dorothy's in that awful place!

TIN MAN
Oh, I hate to think of her in there. We've
got to get her out.
(cries)

SCARECROW
Don't cry now. We haven't got the oil-can
with us and you've been squeaking enough as
it is.

LION
Who's them? Who's them?

ELS -- The Witch's Winkies marching about in the Castle Courtyard --

MCU -- Tin Man, Lion and Scarecrow peering over the rocks -- they speak --
the Lion tries to turn back, but others grab him, push him forward --

SCARECROW
I've got a plan how to get in there.

LION
Fine. He's got a plan

SCARECROW
And you're going to lead us.

LION
Yeah. Me?

SCARECROW
Yes, you.

LION
I -- I -- I -- I -- gotta get her outta
there?

SCARECROW
That's right.
LION
All right, I'll go in there for Dorothy --
Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch -- guards
or no guards -- I'll tear 'em apart.
(growls)
I may not come out alive, but I'm going in
there. There's only one thing I want you
fellows to do.

SCARECROW AND TIN MAN
What's that?

LION
Talk me out of it.

TIN MAN
No, you don't.

SCARECROW
Oh, no!

LION
No? Now, wait a minute.

TIN MAN
You don't neither --

SCARECROW
Up!

LION
Now...

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

CU -- Hour glass --

CS -- Int. Tower Room -- Dorothy sobbing against the Witch's throne -- she
cries out -- CAMERA PULLS back to right to enter the crystal -- Auntie
Em's image appears as she calls for Dorothy -- Dorothy reacts, looks into
the crystal -- Auntie Em fades out and the Witch fades in -- she mocks
Dorothy -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward to CU of Witch, then UP TO LEFT to
Dorothy as she draws away from the crystal -- sobs --

DOROTHY
I'm frightened, I'm frightened, Auntie Em
-- I'm frightened!

AUNTIE EM
Dorothy -- Dorothy -- where are you? It's
me -- it's Auntie Em. We're trying to find
you. Where are you?

DOROTHY
I -- I'm here in Oz, Auntie Em. I'm locked
up in the Witch's castle....and I'm trying
to get home to you, Auntie Em! Oh, Auntie
Em, don't go away! I'm frightened! Come
back! Come back!

WITCH
Auntie Em -- Auntie Em -- come back! I'll
give you Auntie Em, my pretty!
(laughs)
LAP DISSOLVE TO:

MS -- Lion, Scarecrow and Tin Man and Lion moving along among the rocks --
they stop -- CAMERA STARTS forward --

CU -- Toto barks --

MCS -- Scarecrow quiets Toto -- then CAMERA PANS up over the Scarecrow,
Lion and Tin Man as three Winkie Guards appear over the rocks in b.g. --
CAMERA BOOMS back as they start forward toward the three, who are
whispering together --

SCARECROW
Sssh -- Toto -- be quiet -- (etc.)

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary Dorothy is imprisoned in the Witch's tower and yearns to return home. Outside the castle, the Lion, Tin Man, and Scarecrow devise a plan to rescue her. Despite his fear, the Lion resolves to confront the Witch and her guards to save Dorothy.

Strengths

Emotional depth of characters
Character development
Tension and suspense building

Weaknesses

Some repetitive dialogue
Slight lack of clarity in certain action sequences

Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from Dorothy watching the hourglass to the Lion, Scarecrow, and Tin Man outside the castle, which can be a bit disorienting for the audience.
There is a lack of clarity in the actions and motivations of the characters, especially the Lion. His sudden change from fear to determination to rescue Dorothy feels rushed and could benefit from more development.
The dialogue between the characters, while attempting to be humorous, comes across as disjointed and could be improved to flow more naturally.
The visual descriptions in the scene are limited, making it difficult to fully visualize the setting and actions taking place.
The emotional depth of Dorothy's situation in the Witch's tower is not fully explored, leaving the audience disconnected from her fear and desperation.

Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition between Dorothy's emotional moment in the tower and the action outside the castle to maintain the flow of the scene.
Provide more context and development for the Lion's decision to rescue Dorothy, showing his internal struggle and growth to make the moment more impactful.
Refine the dialogue to make it more cohesive and reflective of each character's personality and emotional state.
Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more vivid and immersive setting for the audience.
Explore Dorothy's emotional journey in the Witch's tower in more depth to increase the audience's investment in her character and the stakes of the scene.

Scene 34 - Rescue from the Tower

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 7
Plot: 9
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

MCS -- Scarecrow, Lion and Tin Man whispering together -- the Lion looks
around, sees the Winkies in back of them -- CAMERA BOOMS back as the Lion
tries to speak -- but is speechless with fright -- the Guards jump
forward, seize the three and they disappear behind the rocks -- legs and
arms seen as they fight --

CU -- Hour Glass --

MLS- Int. Tower Room -- Dorothy trying to open one of the doors -- CAMERA
TRUCKS forward --

MCS -- Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion enter up from behind the rocks -- all
are dressed in Winkie Guard uniforms - they speak -

SCARECROW
Whew! That wasn't my plan - but something
happened, didn't it?

TIN MAN
You put up a great fight, Lion.

SCARECROW
Yeah --

TIN MAN
I don't know what we'd have done without
you.

LION
Hah. I - I must have bitten you a couple of
times.

MLS -- Winkie Guards marching about in the Castle courtyard --

MCS -- Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow watching from the rocks -- they speak --
come forward behind the rocks as the CAMERA TRUCKS back with them --

SCARECROW
Come on -- I've got another idea.

LION
Do -- do you think it'll be polite --
dropping in like this?

TIN MAN
Come on -- come on.

LS -- The Winkies marching into the castle -- the Tin Man, Lion and
Scarecrow join the end of the line, the Lion in the rear -- as they march
toward the castle, the Lion has trouble keeping his tail under the uniform
-- CAMERA TRUCKS forward as they enter the castle, Toto following -- the
drawbridge is pulled up --

LS - Int. Entrance Hall of Castle - camera shooting down from high set-up
as the Winkies march into the hall - CAMERA BOOMS down on the file to
Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion, who are at the end of the file

CU - Hour Glass -

MCS - Int. Tower Room - Dorothy seated on steps near the crystal - she
sobs -

Int. Hallway -- LS -- The Lion, Scarecrow and Tin Man duck back into a
recess in the wall -- the rest of the Winkies continue on to exit --

TIN MAN
Where do we go now?

LION
Yeah.

CS -- Toto barking on steps -- he turns, starts up them

CS -- Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow -- Scarecrow points o.s., speaks -- he
exits --

SCARECROW
There!

LS -- Toto runs up the stairs from the hall as the Lion, Scarecrow and Tin
Man run forward from b.g. and start up the stairs after Toto --

Upper Hallway -- LS -- Toto runs in from left -- CAMERA PANS right
slightly as he runs to door and starts to scratch at it -- the three
rescuers enter -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward as they speak --

SCARECROW
Wait! We'd better make sure. Dorothy, are
you in there?

MS -- Int. Tower Room -- Dorothy standing by window -- she reacts to
hearing Lion o.s. -- CAMERA PANS, TRUCKS with her as she runs to the door
-- yells --

LION o.s.
It's us!

DOROTHY
Yes, it's me! She's locked me in!

MCS - Dorothy at door - she speaks to the others o.s. -

DOROTHY
Oh, I knew you'd get here in time!

MCS -- Int. Hallway -- The Lion speaks to Scarecrow and Tin Man as they
move excitedly about --

LION
Listen, fellows. It's her. We gotta get
her out! Open this door!
CS - Int. Tower Room - Dorothy standing by door - she reacts as she hears
the three outside the door -

LION o.s.
Open the door! Open....

MCS - The three outside the door push about madly - then stop their
efforts at the door as the Scarecrow and Tie Man bawl out the Lion - he
pouts -

LION
...the door! Open the door! Open the door!
Open the door! Open the door!

TIN MAN
Don't push!

SCARECROW
Stop pushing!

LION
Oh - I was only trying to help. Ohhh!

CS -- Int. Tower Room -- Dorothy at door -- she pleads to the three on the
outside -- looks o.s. to hour glass --

DOROTHY
Oh, hurry -- please hurry!

CU -- Hour Glass -- very little sand left in the top --

DOROTHY o.s.
The hour glass is almost emp-....

CS -- Dorothy at door -- She speaks to those on other side --

DOROTHY
...ty!

TIN MAN o.s.
Stand back!

MS - Int. Hallway - The Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow remove their Winkie
outfits - Tin Man starts to chop in the door -

CS -- Int. Room -- Dorothy steps back from the door as it is chopped in --
CAMERA PANS right --

MS -- Int. Hallway -- The Tin Man chopping the door down

MCS -- Int. Room -- Dorothy anxiously watching -- she looks at the hour
glass o.s. --

CU -- Hour glass -- not much sand remaining --

MCS -- Dorothy reacts --

MLS - Int. Hallway - Scarecrow and Lion in f.g. watch as the Tin Man
breaks the door in -

MCS -- Int. Room -- Dorothy reacts, rushes to left -- CAMERA PANS --
MLS -- Int. Hallway -- Dorothy rushes out the door of room -- greets the
Tin Man, Lion, Scarecrow and Toto -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward -- they rush
out to left -- PAN left --

DOROTHY
Oh -- Oh -- Oh! Toto -- Toto!

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary The Scarecrow, Lion, and Tin Man infiltrate the Winkie castle disguised as guards. They find Dorothy trapped in the tower room, and the hourglass is almost empty. They rescue Dorothy just in time and escape the castle.

Strengths

Strong character development
Emotional depth
Engaging plot progression

Weaknesses

Some repetitive dialogue
Slight predictability in character actions

Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from the Winkies capturing the group to them infiltrating the castle dressed as Winkie Guards, which may confuse the audience.
The dialogue between the characters lacks depth and emotional resonance, making the interactions feel superficial.
The tension and urgency of the situation with Dorothy being locked in the tower room could be heightened to create a more gripping and engaging scene.
The visual descriptions could be more vivid and detailed to enhance the atmosphere and setting of the scene.
The pacing of the scene feels rushed, with quick transitions and actions that don't allow for moments to build tension or emotion.

Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition between the Winkies capturing the group and them infiltrating the castle to improve the flow of the scene.
Enhance the dialogue to reflect the characters' emotions, motivations, and relationships, adding depth to their interactions.
Increase the tension and urgency in the scene by emphasizing Dorothy's peril and the group's determination to rescue her.
Provide more detailed visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive setting for the audience.
Adjust the pacing of the scene to allow for moments of suspense, emotion, and character development to unfold naturally.

Scene 35 - Trapped in the Witch's Castle

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

LION
Did they hurtcha?

DOROTHY
Lion, darling -- I knew you'd come!

TIN MAN
Dorothy!

DOROTHY
I knew you would!

SCARECROW
Hurry -- we've got no time to lose!

Int. Entrance Hall -- camera shooting up from side of stairs -- LS --
Dorothy, Lion, Tin Man, and Scarecrow enter at top of stairs -- CAMERA
PANS with them as they run down the stairs -- they rush toward the
entrance, but the huge doors swing shut in front of them --

MS -- The Four hammer at the door -- then react, turn and look up to right
f.g. as the Witch speaks o.s. -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward --

DOROTHY
Oh!

WITCH o.s.
Going so soon? I wouldn't....

CS -- Witch and Nikko looking down from the top of stairs --

WITCH
...hear of it. Why, my little par-....

MCS -- Scarecrow, Tin Man, Dorothy and the Lion by the door --

WITCH o.s.
...ty's just beginning!

MLS -- Witch and Nikko at top of stairs -- she laughs -- CAMERA PANS down
to reveal the Winkies rushing into the entrance hall --

MCS -- Scarecrow, Tin Man, Dorothy and Lion huddled by door -- the Lion
speaks --

LION
Trapped! Trapped like mice -- er -- rats!

MLS - The Winkies advancing -

MCS - The Four huddled by door - Tin Man speaks to Lion, who tries to
roar -

TIN MAN
Go ahead - do something! Roar! Roar!

MCS - The Winkie Guards advance with a menacing roar -
MCS - The Four huddled against door - the Lion reacts, speaks -

LION
What good'll it do us?

ELS -- Shooting down from the top of the hall, past the Witch on landing
in f.g. to the Winkies advancing to the four huddled against the door --
the Winkies roar --

CS -- Witch and Nikko looking down from the top of stairs -- she yells
down to her Winkies --

WITCH
That's right. Don't hurt them right away.
We'll let....

MCU - Dorothy backed against the door - Toto in her arms - tears flowing
down her cheeks -

WITCH o.s.
...them think about it a little, first!

MS -- The Winkies growl as they shove out their spears

CU -- Toto in Dorothy's arms -- he growls at the Winkies o.s. --

CU -- Scarecrow looks up o.s. --

WITCH o.s.
How does it feel....

MS -- What the Scarecrow sees: CAMERA PANS up along the rope that holds
the huge candelabra up over the hall --

WITCH o.s.
...my little visitor?

CU -- Scarecrow looking about up o.s. -- CAMERA PANS, PULLS back as he
steps over to where the rope is fastened to the wall --

WITCH o.s.
Can you imagine what I'm going to do to you?

MCS -- The Witch picks up the hour glass -- hurls it down o.s. as she
laughs --

ELS -- Full shot of the entrance hall as the hour glass crashes to the
floor below -- bursts into a cloud of flame and smoke --

LION o.s.
Here we go, boys!

MCS- The Scarecrow seizes the Tin Man's axe and chops the candelabra rope
with it --

DOROTHY
Oh!

ELS -- High angle from above the candelabra as the huge chandelier crashes
down on the Winkies below --

DOROTHY
Oh!
CS -- The Witch screams down to her Winkies --

WITCH
Seize....

MLS -- Shooting past the Winkies in the f.g. as they struggle under the
candelabra to the Scarecrow, Lion, Tin Man and Dorothy as they run out of
hall -- CAMERA PANS left --

WITCH o.s.
...them! Stop them, you fools!

MLS -- The Witch rushes forward down the stairs -- yells at her Winkies --
CAMERA PANS her down the stairs, then she leads the Winkies out of the
hall --

WITCH
They've gotten away! Stop them! Stop them!

Int. Corridor -- as the Witch and Winkies pass out of shot, Dorothy and
her friends peer out from behind a recess, then run back into the hall as
they exit left

LS - The four rush back into the hall - CAMERA TRUCKS back to left - they
look about - the Scarecrow speaks -

SCARECROW
It's no use trying the doors again! Which
room is it?

MLS - The Winkies running back through the corridor -

MLS - Dorothy, Scarecrow, Lion, Tin Man react as they hear the Winkies
approaching - CAMERA PANS left as they start up the stairs -

LION
They're coming back!

DOROTHY
Ohhh!

SCARECROW
Oh - upstairs, quickly!

TIN MAN
Go on!

MLS -- The Witch comes running back into the hall -- her Winkies right
behind her -- she gives them orders -- the Guards separate --

WITCH
There they go! Ah -- now we've got them!
Half you go that way -- half you go that
way!

ELS -- camera shooting up to the Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow just
disappearing at the top of stairs --

WITCH o.s.
Hurry! Hurry! Go!

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary Dorothy and her friends try to escape the Witch's castle but are trapped in the entrance hall by the Witch and her Winkie guards. The Scarecrow chops the rope holding the huge candelabra, which crashes down on the Winkies and allows Dorothy and her friends to escape.

Strengths

Tension-filled escape sequence
Effective character development
Engaging dialogue

Weaknesses

Some cliched elements in the dialogue
Predictable plot twists

Critique

The scene is filled with suspense and tension, which is effective in keeping the audience engaged.
The dialogue between the characters conveys their emotions and urgency well, adding depth to the scene.
The visual descriptions help create a vivid picture of the action unfolding in the entrance hall of the Witch's castle.
The use of camera angles and movements enhances the dramatic impact of the scene, especially during the moments of action and danger.
The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of buildup, conflict, and resolution.

Suggestions

Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for the characters to further connect with the audience.
Explore opportunities to add more character development or interactions to deepen the relationships between Dorothy, Lion, Tin Man, and Scarecrow.
Ensure that the resolution of the scene is clear and satisfying for the audience, providing a sense of closure to the immediate conflict.
Continue to use visual cues and descriptions effectively to enhance the atmosphere and tension of the scene.
Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the setting and action of the scene.

Scene 36 - The Melting of the Witch

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 9
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

MLS - The Witch hits her Guards with her broomstick in an effort to speed
them up - CAMERA PANS left slightly as they rush up the stairs -
WITCH
Go! Go! (etc.)

ELS -- Ext. Battlements -- Scarecrow, Dorothy, Lion and Tin Man run down
the steps from the tower in the b.g. -- they run along the battlement to
exit left --

LS -- The Foursome running forward along battlement -- they stop -- yell --
then CAMERA BOOMS right with them as they run along toward second tower --
they stop, Dorothy screams --

LION
Where -- where do we go now?

SCARECROW
This way! Come on!

ELS -- A Group of Winkies coming out of the tower at the head of steps in
b.g. -- they roar menacingly --

LS -- Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion and Dorothy run along battlement to left as
CAMERA BOOMS with them --

LS -- The other group of Winkies appears in the other tower -- they mumble
-- charge forward --

LS -- One Group of Winkies charges down the steps in the f.g. as we see
the other group come forward along the battlement in b.g. -- CAMERA BOOMS
to left --

LS -- In. Hall -- Scarecrow, Dorothy, Tin Man and the Lion rush down the
hall to b.g. -- are confronted by Winkies -- Dorothy screams -- more
Winkies rush in from left f.g., trapping the four --

MCS -- The Four -- they react as they look o.s. to f.g. -- Dorothy screams
-- they turn, run back --

LS -- In. Tower -- The Four run to left as Winkies pour in from right --
to other Winkies enter from left -- Dorothy screams as they are captured --
CAMERA PANS right as they back up against the table in f.g. -- Winkies
surround them --

MLS -- The Witch enters in b.g. -- comes forward to her Winkies in f.g. --
CAMERA PULLS back as she comes up to Scarecrow, Dorothy and the Tin Man --
she speaks to them --

WITCH
Well -- ring around the rosy -- a pocket
full of spears! Thought you'd be pretty
foxy, didn't you? Well, I'm going to start
in on you right here - one after the other!

CS -- Tin Man, Dorothy and Scarecrow -- Lion hiding behind the Tin Man --
all tremble with fear --

WITCH o.s.
And the last to go will see the first three
go before her! And your mangy little dog,
too!

MCU -- Witch smiles as she looks up o.s. -- CAMERA PANS up as she holds
her broom up to the torch on wall --

CS -- The Four react with fear --
MCU -- The broomstick catches fire -- CAMERA PANS down to the Witch as she
lowers it -- speaks --

WITCH
How about a little fire, Scarecrow?

CS -- Lion, Tin Man, Dorothy and Scarecrow -- all react as the broom is
thrust into the scene and catches the Scarecrow's arm on fire -- he
shouts, Dorothy screams -- Dorothy picks up a bucket as the CAMERA PULLS
back, throws the water on Scarecrow --

SCARECROW
No -- No -- No -- No!

DOROTHY
Ohh! OHH! OHH!

SCARECROW
Help! I'm burning! I'm burning! I'm
burning! Help! Help! Help!

MS -- Dorothy throwing water at Scarecrow -- some of it hits the Witch in
the face -- Tin Man standing at left with the Lion --

SCARECROW
Help!

MCU -- The water hits the Witch in the face --

MS -- The Witch screams as the water hits her -- Tin Man, Lion, Dorothy
and Scarecrow look at her --

MLS -- The Lion, Tin Man, Dorothy and Scarecrow watch the Witch as she
screams and melts away -- camera shooting past Winkies in the f.g. -- the
Witch curses as she disappears, finally only her cloak and hat remain on
the floor -- her voice fades away --

WITCH
Ohhh -- you cursed brat! Look what you've
done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh -- what a
world -- what a world! Who would have
thought a good little girl like you could
destroy my beautiful wickedness!? Ohhh!
Look out! Look out! I'm going. Ohhhh!
Ohhhhhh....

CS -- Lion, Tin Man, Dorothy and Scarecrow looking down o.s. amazed --

CS -- Shooting down to the Witch's cloak and hat smoldering on the floor --
Toto enters from left and sniffs at them -- CAMERA PULLS back slightly as
Nikko enters, growls --

CS -- Leader of Winkies speaks to the Four o.s. in f.g. -- other Winkies
in b.g. --

LEADER
She's....she's....dead! You've killed her!

CS -- Lion, Tin Man, Dorothy and Scarecrow react -- Dorothy speaks, points
to the Scarecrow --
DOROTHY
I -- I didn't mean to kill her....really I
didn't! It's...it's just that he was on
fire!

MLS -- The Four standing in front of the Winkies -- the Leader turns to
the others and speaks -- the Winkies kneel as they hail Dorothy --

LEADER
Hail to Dorothy! The Wicked Witch is dead!

WINKIES
Hail! Hail to Dorothy -- The Wicked Witch
is dead!

CS - Dorothy, with Tin Man, Lion and Scarecrow in back of her - she
speaks -

DOROTHY
You mean, you're...you're all happy about
it?

CS - The Leader raises up his head - speaks to Dorothy o.s. in f.g. -
other Winkies in back of him -

LEADER
Very happy - now she won't be able to hit
us with a broom....

CS - Dorothy, with Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow in back of her - Dorothy
turns to the Tin Man -

LEADER o.s.
...anymore!

DOROTHY
The broom!

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary Dorothy and her friends flee from the Witch's Winkies, but are eventually captured. The Witch threatens to burn the Scarecrow, and Dorothy throws water on him to put out the fire, which accidentally melts the Witch. The Winkies rejoice and hail Dorothy as their savior.

Strengths

Intense conflict
Emotional impact
Visual effects
Character growth
Teamwork

Weaknesses

Some cliched dialogue
Slight predictability in outcome

Critique

The scene is visually engaging with the action sequences involving the Witch, Dorothy, and her friends.
The tension and suspense are effectively conveyed through the dialogue and actions of the characters.
The use of fire and water as elements in the scene adds to the dramatic impact.
The melting of the Witch is a powerful visual moment that effectively resolves the conflict.
The transition from the Witch's demise to the Winkies hailing Dorothy could be smoother to enhance the emotional impact.

Suggestions

Consider refining the dialogue to make the interactions between the characters more impactful and emotionally resonant.
Ensure that the visual elements, such as the melting of the Witch, are executed in a way that maximizes their dramatic effect.
Work on the pacing of the scene to maintain the tension and suspense throughout.
Explore ways to enhance the transition between the Witch's defeat and the Winkies hailing Dorothy to create a more seamless narrative flow.
Consider adding more depth to the emotional reactions of the characters to further engage the audience.

Scene 37 - Triumphant Return to Oz

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 9
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

MLS -- The Leader gives the broom to Dorothy as the Scarecrow, Lion and
Tin Man react with joy -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward as Dorothy speaks to them
-- the Winkies speak -- they sing - Dorothy and her friends dance about,
then exit out to b.g. -

DOROTHY
May we have it?

LEADER
Please! And take it with you!

DOROTHY
Oh -- thank you so much! Now we can go
back to the Wizard and tell him the Wicked
Witch is dead!

LEADER
The Wicked Witch is dead!
ALL
The Wicked Witch is dead! The Wicked Witch
is dead!
Hail - Hail - the Witch is dead.
Which old Witch? - the Wicked Witch.
Hail - Hail - the Wicked Witch is dead.
Hail - Hail - the Witch is dead
Which old Witch? - the Wicked Witch....

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

ELS - In Emerald City - Streets are thronged with people - the procession
enters from b.g., led by a band -

ALL
(sing)
Hail - hail - the Wicked Witch is dead!

MLS - The Band marching along the crowded streets - they turn, exit out to
left f.g. -

ALL
(sing)
Ding Dong! The Witch is dead.
Which old Witch?
The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!

ELS - The Procession comes forward through the crowded streets -
surrounded by flower girls are Dorothy, the Tin Man, Lion and Scarecrow -
the Scarecrow is carrying the Witch's broomstick -

ALL
(sing)
Wake up, you sleepy head
Rub your eyes
Get out of bed
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead!

MS - CAMERA TRUCKS back with the Tin Man, Lion, Dorothy and the Scarecrow
as they come forward through the singing crowds - they wave, smile, etc. -

ALL
(sing)
She's gone where the Goblins go
Below -- below -- below!
Yo ho, let's open....

LS - The Procession passes girls lined up in front of the palace - the
four pass along in front of them at left - all wave greetings -

ALL
(sing)
...up and sing
And ring the bells out.
Ding Dong! The merry-oh
Sing it high
Sing it....

ELS - Full shot of the area in front of Palace - the Procession files
around in it to the right -
ALL
(sing)
...low.
Let them know
The Wicked Witch is dead!
Ding Dong! The Witch is dead.
Which old....

ELS - CAMERA BOOMS back to left with the Procession as it comes forward -

ALL
(sing)
...witch?
The Wicked Witch
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!

ELS - CAMERA PANS right with the Procession as it marches toward the
palace - CAMERA BOOMS around to one of the huge crystals as the Tin Man,
Dorothy, Scarecrow and Lion enter through the palace gates -

ALL
(sing)
Wake up, you sleepy head.
Rub your eyes -
Get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead.
She's gone where the Goblins go -
Below - below - below.
No ho, let's open up and sing
And ring the bells out.
Ding Dong! The merry-oh
Sing it high --

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

Int. Throne room -- LS -- Throne -- Oz's voice booms out as the CAMERA
PULLS back to reveal the Scarecrow, Dorothy, Lion and Tin Man standing in
front of it --

OZ'S VOICE
Can I believe my eyes? Why....

MLS -- The Four trembling with fear -- CAMERA PULLS back as Dorothy comes
forward with the broomstick and places it on the steps to throne -- she
speaks --

OZ'S VOICE
...have you come back?

DOROTHY
Please, sir. We've done what you told us.
We've brought you the broomstick of the
Wicked Witch of the West. We melted her.

OZ'S VOICE
Oh ....

MLS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
...you liquidated her, eh? Very....

MS -- Dorothy smiling, with the Tin Man, Lion and the Scarecrow in back of
her also looking pleased -- she speaks -- they react as Oz speaks --
OZ'S VOICE
...resourceful!

DOROTHY
Yes, sir. So we'd like you to keep your
promise to us, if you please, sir.

OZ'S VOICE
Not so fast! Not....

MLS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
...so fast! I'll have to give the matter a
little thought. Go away and come back
tomorrow!

MS -- Dorothy, with her three friends behind her -- she reacts, speaks --
the Tin Man and the Lion put in a word for her --

Genres: ["Musical","Fantasy"]

Summary Dorothy receives the Witch's broomstick from the Winkies and leads her friends back to the Emerald City. They are greeted by a cheering crowd and present the broomstick to the Wizard. After some hesitation, the Wizard grants their wishes.

Strengths

Triumphant musical number
Emotional resonance
Character growth and unity

Weaknesses

Limited focus on individual character arcs
Slightly predictable resolution

Critique

The scene lacks depth and emotional impact considering the significant moment of the Wicked Witch's defeat and the fulfillment of Dorothy's mission.
The dialogue feels rushed and lacks the gravitas needed for such a pivotal moment in the story.
There is a missed opportunity to explore the characters' emotions and reactions to the Witch's demise and their success in obtaining the broomstick.
The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions and details to enhance the atmosphere and build tension.
The transition from the celebration of the Witch's defeat to the interaction with Oz feels abrupt and could be smoother.

Suggestions

Add more emotional depth to the characters' reactions to the Witch's defeat and the acquisition of the broomstick.
Slow down the pacing of the dialogue to allow for more impactful delivery of lines.
Include visual cues and descriptions to create a more immersive and engaging scene.
Consider building up the tension and anticipation leading to the interaction with Oz for a more satisfying payoff.
Explore the characters' internal thoughts and conflicts to add layers to the scene and enhance the storytelling.

Scene 38 - The Wizard's Deception

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

DOROTHY
Tomorrow? Oh, but I want to go home now.

TIN MAN
You've had plenty of time already!

LION
Yeah!

MLS -- Throne --

OZ'S VOICE
Do not arouse the wrath....

MCU -- Toto at Dorothy's feet -- CAMERA PANS right with him as he runs to
a curtain that hangs near the throne steps --

OZ'S VOICE
...of the Great and Powerful Oz! I said --
come back tomorrow!

MS -- The Four -- Dorothy speaks as she looks o.s. to right f.g. -- CAMERA
PULLS back to right to enter the curtain where Toto ran in the b.g. -- it
shakes as Toto starts to pull it back --

DOROTHY
If you were really great and powerful,
you'd keep your promises!

OZ'S VOICE
Do you presume to criticize the....

MLS -- Toto pulls back the curtain to reveal the Wizard at the controls of
the throne apparatus -- his back to the camera

OZ'S VOICE
...Great Oz? You ungrateful creatures!

MLS -- The Four react with fear -- Scarecrow looks o.s. to right -- points
for Dorothy --

OZ'S VOICE
Think yourselves lucky that I'm....
LS -- Shooting past the Four at left to the Wizard at the controls of the
throne apparatus -- the Four react as they see him after Dorothy calls
their attention to him --

OZ'S VOICE
...giving you audience tomorrow, instead
of....

MS -- The Wizard at the controls -- his back to camera -- he speaks into
the microphone -- he turns, looks o.s. to f.g. and sees that the curtain
is gone -- reacts and turns back to the controls --

OZ'S VOICE
...twenty years from now. Oh -- oh oh!
The Great Oz has spoken! Oh -- Oh ---....

LS -- Shooting past the Four at left to the Wizard as he pulls back the
curtain --

OZ'S VOICE
... Oh .... Oh ....

MS - The Wizard peers out from behind the curtain -

MS - Tin Man, Lion, Dorothy and Scarecrow react as they look at the Wizard
o.s. to right - Dorothy speaks

DOROTHY
Who are you?

MCU - The Wizard peering out from curtain - he ducks back out of sight and
his voice booms out again -

OZ'S VOICE
Oh - I - Pay no....

LS -- Shooting past the Four at left to the Curtain in b.g. -- Dorothy
goes over to it and starts to pull it aside --

OZ'S VOICE
...attention to that man behind the curtain.
Go - before I lose my temper! The Great and
Powerful ---....

MCS -- Dorothy pulls back the curtain to reveal the Wizard at the controls
-- he reacts as he sees Dorothy -- Dorothy questions him -- the Wizard
starts to speak into the microphone -- then turns weakly back to Dorothy --
CAMERA PULLS back slightly as the Lion, Scarecrow and Tin Man enter and
stand behind Dorothy --

OZ'S VOICE
... -- Oz -- has spoken!

DOROTHY
Who are you?

OZ'S VOICE
Well, I -- I -- I am the Great and Powerful
-- Wizard of Oz.

DOROTHY
You are?
WIZARD
Uhhhh -- yes...

DOROTHY
I don't believe you!

WIZARD
No, I'm afraid it's true. There's no other
Wizard except me.

MCS -- Dorothy and her three friends react -- Camera shooting past the
Wizard at left -- the Scarecrow and Lion speak angrily --

SCARECROW
You humbug!

LION
Yeah!

CS -- Wizard -- shooting past Dorothy, the Lion and Scarecrow -- the
Wizard speaks --

WIZARD
Yes-s-s -- that...that's exactly so. I'm
a humbug!

DOROTHY
Oh ....

MCU -- Dorothy -- Tin Man and Scarecrow behind her --

DOROTHY
...you're a very bad man!

MCU -- The Wizard reacts, speaks humbly --

WIZARD
Oh, no, my dear -- I'm -- I'm a very good
man. I'm just a very bad Wizard.

MCU - Scarecrow and Dorothy - Scarecrow threatens the Wizard o.s. -

SCARECROW
You'd better be good enough to send Dorothy
back to Kansas!

CS - Wizard - shooting past Lion, Dorothy and Scarecrow in f.g. -

WIZARD
Uh - now, please don't be angry with me.
I'll - I'll do anything you say, only...
only if you don't shout at me. It makes me
nervous!

SCARECROW
It makes you nervous?

WIZARD
Yes.

MCS -- Tin Man, Scarecrow, Dorothy and Lion -- shooting past the Wizard in
left f.g.
SCARECROW
What about us?

WIZARD
Well, I --

SCARECROW
What about the heart that you promised Tin
Man --?

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Lion, and the Scarecrow confront the Wizard in his throne room. They discover that he is a humbug and threaten him into sending Dorothy back to Kansas and giving the Tin Man a heart.

Strengths

Revealing the Wizard's true identity
Setting up a challenge for the characters
Emotional depth and character development

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel repetitive or predictable

Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the high stakes involved. The dialogue feels somewhat flat and could benefit from more emotional depth and intensity, especially given the confrontation with the Wizard.
The Wizard's reveal as a humbug could be more impactful if there was a stronger build-up to this moment. The transition from the Wizard's initial reluctance to his admission of being a fraud feels a bit abrupt.
There is a missed opportunity to explore the characters' emotions and reactions more deeply, particularly Dorothy's disappointment and the Scarecrow's anger. These emotional beats could add depth to the scene and make it more engaging.
The dialogue could be more dynamic and engaging, with more back-and-forth exchanges between the characters to create tension and conflict. This would help to keep the audience invested in the scene.
The visual elements of the scene could be enhanced to create a more immersive and visually engaging experience. Consider incorporating more movement and action to bring the scene to life.

Suggestions

Add more tension and urgency to the scene by increasing the emotional stakes for the characters. Explore their reactions to the Wizard's reveal in more depth to create a more impactful moment.
Build up to the Wizard's admission of being a humbug by creating a sense of mystery and intrigue around his character. This will make the revelation more surprising and engaging for the audience.
Focus on developing the dialogue to be more dynamic and engaging, with each character having a clear objective and motivation in the scene. This will help to drive the conflict and keep the audience invested.
Consider incorporating more visual elements and movement to enhance the scene's impact. Use camera angles, blocking, and visual cues to create a more immersive and visually stimulating experience for the audience.
Work on pacing and structure to ensure that the scene flows smoothly and maintains the audience's interest. Consider tightening the dialogue and focusing on key moments of conflict and resolution to keep the scene engaging.

Scene 39 - The Wizard's Honorary Awards

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

WIZARD
Well, I --

SCARECROW
-- And the courage that you promised
Cowardly Lion?

WIZARD
Well, I --

TIN MAN AND LION
And Scarecrow's brain?

CS - Wizard - shooting past Lion, Dorothy and Scarecrow in f.g. -

WIZARD
Well, I-- but you've got them. You've had
them all the...

MCS- Tin Man, Scarecrow, Dorothy and Lion - shooting past the Wizard in
left f.g. - the four react, speak together - the Scarecrow moves around to
the Wizard -

WIZARD
...time!

ALL TOGETHER
Oh, no we haven't!

TIN MAN
You don't get around us that easy!

LION
Not nohow!

WIZARD
Well --

SCARECROW
You promised us real things -- a real...

CS - Wizard - shooting past the Scarecrow at right - the Wizard reacts to
their demands - starts to speak -

SCARECROW
...brain!

TIN MAN o.s.
A real heart!

LION
Real courage. That's what we want.
WIZARD
You do? boys, you're aiming low. You not
only surprise, but you grieve me.

MS -- The Wizard speaks to Tin Man, Dorothy, Lion and the Scarecrow -- the
Wizard becomes eloquent -- steps closer to the Scarecrow --

WIZARD
Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a
very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous
creature that crawls on the earth -- or
slinks through slimy seas has a brain!

MCU -- Wizard -- shooting past the Scarecrow at right --

WIZARD
From the rock-bound coast of Maine to the
Sun.... oh - oh, no -- -- ah - Well, be
that as it may. Back where I come from we
have universities, seats of great learning
-- where men go to become great thinkers.
And when they come out, they think deep
thoughts -- and with no more brains than
you have.... But! They have one thing you
haven't got! A diploma!

MS -- The Wizard reaches back and obtains several diplomas -- selecting
one and presents it to the Scarecrow as Dorothy, Tin Man and the Lion look
on --

WIZARD
Therefore, by virtue of the authority
vested in me by the Universitatus
Committeeatum e plurbis unum, I hereby
confer upon you the honorary degree of Th.D.

SCARECROW
Th.D.?

MCU -- Wizard -- shooting past the Scarecrow at right --

WIZARD
Yeah -- that...that's Dr. of Thinkology!

CU -- The Scarecrow recites the Pythagoras Theorem -- reacts with joy --

SCARECROW
The sum of the square roots of any two
sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to
the square root of the remaining side. Oh
joy, rapture! I've got a brain!

MCS -- Wizard, Scarecrow, Dorothy, Tin Man and Lion -- the Scarecrow
thanks the Wizard -- Wizard takes the Lion and leads him forward -- CAMERA
TRUCKS back and PANS right -- the others follow -- the Wizard pauses on
the throne steps -- opens a door and takes out a black bag -- takes a
medal from the bag --

SCARECROW
How can I ever thank you enough?
WIZARD
Well, you can't. As for you, my fine
friend -- you're a victim of disorganized
thinking. You are under the unfortunate
delusion that simply because you run away
from danger, you have no courage. You're
confusing courage with wisdom. Back where
I come from, we have men who are called
heroes. Once a year, they take their
fortitude out of mothballs and parade it
down the main street of the city. And they
have no more courage than you have. But!
They have one thing that you haven't got!
A medal! Therefore -- for meritorious....

MCU -- Lion -- shooting past the Wizard in the f.g. as he presents the
medal to the beaming Lion --

WIZARD
...conduct, extraordinary valor, conspicuous
bravery against wicked witches, I award you
the Triple Cross.

MS -- Scarecrow, Tin Man and Dorothy watching as the Wizard presents the
medal to the Lion --

WIZARD
You are now a member of the Legion of
Courage!

MCU -- The Wizard leans forward and kisses the Lion -- the Lion reacts,
speaks --

LION
Oh -- Oh -- shucks, folks, I'm speechless!

MS -- Dorothy, Tin Man, Scarecrow watch the Lion as he beams with joy over
his new medal -- the Wizard turns to the Tin Man -- speaks to him --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary The Wizard, confronted about his unfulfilled promises, stalls before awarding the Scarecrow a diploma for his intelligence, the Tin Man a medal for his kindness, and the Lion a medal for his bravery, claiming they already possess these qualities. The characters leave the throne room satisfied with their rewards.

Strengths

Character development
Humor
Symbolism

Weaknesses

Lack of intense conflict
Predictability in character reactions

Critique

The scene lacks a clear resolution to the promises made by the Wizard to the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion. The Wizard's explanation that they already possess the qualities they seek feels anticlimactic and unsatisfying.
The dialogue between the characters and the Wizard could be more dynamic and engaging. The back and forth between demands and responses feels repetitive and could benefit from more tension and emotion.
The Wizard's sudden shift from promising real things to awarding honorary degrees and medals feels like a cop-out and diminishes the impact of the characters' desires and struggles.
The Wizard's long-winded explanation about brains, courage, and wisdom detracts from the urgency and emotional depth of the scene. It could be streamlined to focus more on the characters' desires and the Wizard's response.
The Wizard's actions of awarding diplomas and medals instead of fulfilling the characters' wishes feels like a letdown and undermines the emotional journey the characters have been on.

Suggestions

Consider reworking the scene to provide a more satisfying resolution to the characters' desires. This could involve the Wizard finding a creative way to grant them what they seek, rather than resorting to symbolic gestures.
Enhance the dialogue to make it more impactful and emotionally resonant. Add layers of conflict, emotion, and depth to the interactions between the characters and the Wizard.
Focus on the core desires of the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion, and ensure that the Wizard's responses directly address these desires in a meaningful way.
Streamline the Wizard's explanations and focus on the emotional journey of the characters. Cut down on unnecessary dialogue and exposition to maintain the scene's momentum and impact.
Consider a more authentic and heartfelt resolution to the characters' struggles, rather than relying on superficial rewards like diplomas and medals.

Scene 40 - The Wizard's Gifts

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 9

WIZARD
As for you, my galvanized friend, you want
a heart! You don't know how lucky you are
not to have one. Hearts will never be
practical until they can be made
unbreakable. I could have been a world
figure, a power among men, a - a successful
wizard, had I not been obstructed by a heart.

TIN MAN
But I still want one.

WIZARD
Yes -- ....

MCU -- Wizard -- shooting past the Tin Man in left f.g.

WIZARD
...back where I come from there are men who
do nothing all day but good deeds. They
are called phil...er -- er -- phil -- er,
yes...good-deed-doers. And their hearts
are no bigger than yours. But! They have
one thing you haven't got! A testimonial!
MCS -- The Tin Man waits as the Wizard bends down and gets a heart-shaped
watch from his black bag -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward slightly as he presents
it to the Tin Man as Dorothy, Lion and Scarecrow look on --

WIZARD
Therefore, in consideration of your
kindness, I take pleasure at this time in
presenting you with a small token of our
esteem and affection. And remember, my
sentimental friend....

MCU -- Wizard -- shooting past the Tin Man in left f.g.

WIZARD
...that a heart is not judged by how much
you love, but by how much you are loved by
others.

CS -- Tin Man -- shooting past the Wizard in right -- Dorothy standing at
left -- the Tin Man listens to his watch, then holds it up to Dorothy's
ear --

TIN MAN
Ahh --- Oh, it ticks! Listen!

DOROTHY
Yes...!

MS -- Scarecrow, Lion, Dorothy react as the Tin Man shows them the watch --
the Wizard smiles as he watches them -- Lion points to his medal --

DOROTHY
...yes.

TIN MAN
Look -- it ticks!

LION
Read...read what my medal says.

INSERT -- CU of the Medal on the Lion's chest -- reads COURAGE --

LION
Courage!...

MS -- Int. Throne Room -- Scarecrow, Dorothy, The Wizard and Tin Man
admire the Lion's medal -- then they ask about Dorothy's request --

LION
...Ain't it the truth! Ain't it the truth!

DOROTHY
Oh -- oh -- they're all wonderful.

SCARECROW
Hey -- what about Dorothy?

TIN MAN
Yes -- how about Dorothy?

LION
Yeah.
WIZARD
Ah --

LION
Dorothy next!

WIZARD
Yes. Dorothy -- ah -- Dor --

CU -- Dorothy --

DOROTHY
Oh, I don't think there's anything in that
black bag for me.

MCU - The Wizard protests - mumbles as he starts to look into the bag -

WIZARD
Well, no - no -- on the contrary, on
the ---- ....

MS -- The Wizard rummages through the bag as Dorothy and the others look
on -- he finds nothing, so he speaks encouragingly of what he'll do -
CAMERA TRUCKS forward slightly -

WIZARD
...I -- ah -- on the contr -- -- Here --
Well, you force me into a cataclysmic
decision. The only way to get Dorothy back
to Kansas is for me to take her there myself!

CU -- Dorothy reacts, speaks --

DOROTHY
Oh, will you? Could you? Oh -- but are you
a clever enough Wizard....

MCU -- The Wizard --

DOROTHY o.s.
...to manage it?

WIZARD
Child -- you cut me to the quick! I'm an
old Kansas man myself...born and....

CU -- Dorothy is pleased -- looks about at the others --

WIZARD o.s.
...bred in the heart of the western
wilderness -- Premier balloonist par....

MS -- Scarecrow, Dorothy, Lion and Tin Man listening to the Wizard --

WIZARD
...excellence to the Miracle Wonderland
Carnival Company -- until one day, while
performing spectacular feats of stratospheric
skill never before attempted by civilized
man, an unfortunate phenomena occurred.
The balloon failed to return to the fair.

LION
It did?
MCU - The Wizard -

WIZARD
Yes. There was I, floating through space --
a man without a continent!

CU -- Dorothy --

DOROTHY
Weren't you frightened?

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary The Wizard rewards the Tin Man with a heart-shaped watch, emphasizing that a heart's worth lies in being loved. The Lion displays his "Courage" medal. The Wizard reveals his Kansas origins and promises to return Dorothy home, acknowledging his limitations due to his lack of a heart.

Strengths

Whimsical dialogue
Inspirational tone
Character growth

Weaknesses

Minimal conflict
Predictable outcome

Critique

The dialogue in this scene is a bit lengthy and could be more concise to maintain the audience's interest.
The Wizard's explanation of why he can't give the Tin Man a heart feels a bit convoluted and could be simplified for better clarity.
The transition between the Wizard giving the Tin Man a heart and addressing Dorothy's request feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
The Wizard's backstory about being a balloonist and getting lost in the balloon may be interesting but feels a bit out of place in the context of the scene.
The Wizard's response to Dorothy's question about being clever enough to manage taking her back to Kansas could be more direct and impactful.

Suggestions

Consider trimming down the Wizard's dialogue to make it more concise and impactful.
Simplify the explanation for why the Wizard can't give the Tin Man a heart to make it more understandable.
Smooth out the transition between giving the Tin Man a heart and addressing Dorothy's request.
Reconsider the Wizard's backstory about being a balloonist to see if it adds value to the scene.
Make the Wizard's response to Dorothy's question more direct and reassuring.

Scene 41 - The Wizard's Departure

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

MS -- Scarecrow, Dorothy, Wizard, Tin Man and Lion on the steps near the
throne -- the Wizard speaks as they come forward -- CAMERA PULLS back to
left as they come forward to door -- they pause -- then again come forward
to the doorway -- all react to the Wizard's announcement --

WIZARD
Frightened? You are talking to a man who
has laughed in the face of death -- sneered
at doom and chuckled at catastrophe. I was
petrified. Then suddenly the wind changed,
and the balloon floated down into the heart
of this noble city, where I was instantly
acclaimed Oz, the First Wizard de Luxe!

DOROTHY
Ohhh!

WIZARD
Times being what they were, I accepted the
job, -- retaining my balloon against the
advent of a quick get-away.
(laughs)
And in that balloon, my dear Dorothy, you
and I will return to the land of E Pluribus
Unum!

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

Ext. Public Square, Emerald City -- LS -- The Wizard and Dorothy in the
basket of balloon -- Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion standing on platform with
them -- people of Oz grouped about them -- the Wizard speaks to them as
the CAMERA MOVES forward -- the people cheer --

WIZARD
Good people of Oz, this is positively the
finest exhibition ever to be shown --
(stammers)
-- yes -- well -- be that as it may -- I,
your Wizard par ardua ad alta, am about to
embark upon a hazardous and technically
unexplainable journey into the outer
stratosphere.

MCS -- Wizard and Dorothy in the basket -- the Wizard speaks to the crowd
o.s. -- CAMERA PANS to left to enter the Tin Man and Scarecrow, then PANS
right as the Wizard points to the Lion --
WIZARD
To confer, converse, and otherwise hob-nob
with my brother wizards. And I hereby
decree that until what time -- if any --
that I return, the Scarecrow, by virtue of
his highly superior brains, shall rule in
my stead...assisted by the Tin Man, by
virtue of his magnificent heart...and the
Lion -- by virtue of his courage! Obey them
as you would me! And - ah - well, that's all.

CU -- Toto in Dorothy's arms -- he barks at something o.s. -- People cheer
o.s.

WIZARD o.s.
Thank you.

MCU -- Oz woman with a cat in her arms --

MCU -- Toto barking in Dorothy's arms --

MCS -- Dorothy in basket of balloon -- Toto jumps from her arms -- she
reacts, starts to climb out --

MLS -- Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion on platform -- Wizard in the basket of
balloon -- Dorothy climbs out -- yells

DOROTHY
Oh, come back here! Toto!

MCS -- Dorothy by the side of the basket -- she speaks to the Wizard, then
runs down from the platform -- Lion and Scarecrow seen --

DOROTHY
Come back! Oh, don't go without me! I'll be
right back! Toto!

MLS -- Wizard on balloon platform -- Scarecrow, Lion and Tin Man standing
by -- The Wizard protests as the balloon starts to rise --

TIN MAN
Stop that dog!

WIZARD
This is a highly irregular procedure! This
is absolutely unprecedented!

TIN MAN
Oh! Help me! The balloon's going up!

ELS -- The Wizard rises slowly in the basket of balloon as the Oz people
watch -- Scarecrow and Tin Man try to hold the balloon down -- Dorothy
runs up on the platform, the Lion following -- she yells to the Wizard --
he shouts back -- the Oz people wave goodbye -- the balloon exits to left
f.g. --

WIZARD
-- Ruined my exit!

TIN MAN
Help!
DOROTHY
Oh! Come back! Don't go without me!
Please come back!

WIZARD
I can't come back! I don't know how it
works!

DOROTHY
Oh --

WIZARD
Goodbye, folks!

OZ PEOPLE
Goodbye! Goodbye!

MCS -- Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion grouped about Dorothy -- she speaks --
they ask her to stay with them -- then the Scarecrow reacts, points up
o.s. --

DOROTHY
Oh, now I'll never get home!

LION
Stay with us, then, Dorothy. We all love
you. We don't want you to go.

DOROTHY
Oh, that's very kind of you -- but this
could never be like Kansas. Auntie Em must
have stopped wondering what happened to me
by now. Oh, Scarecrow, what am I going to
do?

SCARECROW
Look -- here's someone who can help you!

MS -- A group of Oz men react as they look up o.s. -- they bow out of the
scene -- suddenly Glinda appears in the scene -- CAMERA TRUCKS back to
left over heads of the bowing Oz people as she moves down the steps and up
onto the platform to Dorothy, Tin Man, Lion and Scarecrow --

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure"]

Summary The Wizard reveals he's a balloonist, appointing the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion rulers in his absence. Dorothy tries to join him, but is left behind when Toto runs off, so the Wizard ascends, leaving the others to stop the balloon. Ultimately, Glinda appears, offering to help Dorothy return home.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character relationships
Engaging concept

Weaknesses

Mild conflict resolution
Predictable plot progression

Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition from the Wizard revealing his true identity to his departure from Oz, leading to a somewhat abrupt ending.
The dialogue between Dorothy and the Wizard could be more emotionally impactful to convey Dorothy's desperation to return home.
The Wizard's departure in the balloon feels rushed and could benefit from more build-up and tension.
The emotional weight of Dorothy being left behind by the Wizard and her friends could be heightened with more emphasis on her feelings of loss and uncertainty.
The Wizard's character could be further developed to show more depth and complexity in his decision to leave Oz.

Suggestions

Consider adding a moment of reflection or realization for Dorothy before the Wizard departs to emphasize her emotional journey.
Enhance the dialogue between Dorothy and the Wizard to convey a stronger sense of urgency and longing for home.
Build up the tension and stakes of the Wizard's departure by adding obstacles or challenges that need to be overcome before he can leave.
Focus on Dorothy's emotional turmoil and the impact of being left behind by the Wizard and her friends to create a more poignant moment.
Provide more insight into the Wizard's motivations and inner conflict to add depth to his character and decision to leave Oz.

Scene 42 - Dorothy's Return to Kansas

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

CS -- Dorothy, Glinda and Scarecrow on the platform -- Dorothy speaks with
Glinda -- CAMERA PULLS back to enter Tin Man and Lion -- Tin Man speaks --

DOROTHY
Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?

GLINDA
You don't need to be helped any longer.
You've always had the power to go back to
Kansas.

DOROTHY
I have?

SCARECROW
Then why didn't you tell her before?

GLINDA
Because she wouldn't have believed me. She
had to learn it for herself.
TIN MAN
What have you learned, Dorothy?

MCU -- Dorothy -- Lion behind her -- she speaks --

DOROTHY
Well, I -- I think that it -- that it
wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle
Henry and Auntie Em -- and it's that -- if
I ever go looking for my heart's desire
again, I won't look any further than my own
backyard. Because if it isn't there, I
never really lost it to begin with! Is
that right?

MCS -- Tin Man, Dorothy, Glinda, Scarecrow and Lion on platform -- they
speak -- Glinda points down to Dorothy's slippers --

GLINDA
That's all it is!

SCARECROW
But that's so easy! I should have thought
of it for you.

TIN MAN
I should have felt it in my heart.

GLINDA
No. She had to find it out for herself.
Now, those magic slippers will take you
home in two seconds!

DOROTHY
Oh....

CS -- Dorothy and Glinda -- Scarecrow in b.g. -- Dorothy reacts, speaks --
turns about -- begins to cry as she realizes she will lose her three
friends -- CAMERA PANS her left to Tin Man -- she wipes his tears away --
gives him his oil can and then kisses him -- then CAMERA TRUCKS forward
slightly as she says goodbye to the Lion -- PANS right slightly as she
turns to the Scarecrow -- hugs him -- then steps back to Glinda as CAMERA
PANS slightly --

DOROTHY
...Toto, too?

GLINDA
Toto, too.

DOROTHY
Oh, now?

GLINDA
Whenever you wish.

DOROTHY
Oh, dear -- that's too wonderful to be true!
Oh, it's -- it's going to be so hard to say
goodbye. I love you all, too. Goodbye, Tin
Man. Oh, don't cry. You'll rust so
dreadfully. Here -- here's your oil-can.
Goodbye.
TIN MAN
Now I know I've got a heart -- 'cause it's
breaking.

DOROTHY
Oh -- Goodbye, Lion. You know, I know it
isn't right, but I'm going to miss the way
you used to holler for help before you found
your courage.

LION
Well -- I would never've found it if it
hadn't been for you.

DOROTHY
I think I'll miss you most of all.

GLINDA
Are you ready now?

DOROTHY
Yes. Say goodbye, Toto.

MS -- Dorothy waves Toto's paw at the Tin Man, Lion and Scarecrow -- then
speaks to Glinda -- Glinda instructs her --

DOROTHY
Yes, I'm ready now.

GLINDA
Then close your eyes, and tap your heels
together three times.

MCU -- Dorothy's heels as she clicks them together three times --

MCU -- Dorothy and Glinda -- Glinda instructs her -- waves her wand --
Dorothy closes her eyes -- CAMERA TRUCKS in to a big CU of Dorothy -- she
speaks -- the scene darkens behind her --

GLINDA
And think to yourself -- "There's no place
like home; there's no place like home;
there's no place like home."

DOROTHY
There's no place like home. There's no
place like home. There's no place like
home. There's no place like home.

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

ELS - The Munchkins waving goodbye from the gates of the Munchkin Village -

DOROTHY o.s.
There's no place like...

CS - The Witch laughing -

DOROTHY o.s.
...home. There's no place....

MCS - The Wizard at the control panel in the Throne Room - he turns, looks
o.s. to f.g. - reacts - pulls the curtain -
DOROTHY o.s.
...like home. There's no place like home.

MS - Glinda leading the Munchkins in a dance - Munchkins in the b.g. -

DOROTHY o.s.
There's no place like home.

MCU - Lion growling -

MS - The Tin Man breaking in the door of the Witch's Tower Room -

DOROTHY o.s.
There's no place like home.

MS - Hickory's Wind Machine on the Gale farm -

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Musical"]

Summary Dorothy learns she always had the power to return home and bids farewell to her friends before clicking her heels and being whisked away to Kansas.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character growth
Poignant dialogue

Weaknesses

Lack of external conflict
Predictable resolution

Critique

The scene serves as a resolution to Dorothy's journey, where she learns that she had the power to go back to Kansas all along.
The dialogue between Glinda, Dorothy, and her friends is heartfelt and emotional, capturing the bittersweet moment of saying goodbye.
The emotional depth of the scene is well portrayed through the interactions between Dorothy and her friends, showcasing their growth and bond throughout the story.
The visual cues, such as Dorothy waving Toto's paw and giving the Tin Man his oil can, add depth to the scene and emphasize the characters' relationships.
The use of repetition in Dorothy clicking her heels together and saying 'There's no place like home' reinforces the theme of finding value in what one already has.
The transition from Oz back to Kansas is symbolically represented through the darkening of the scene behind Dorothy, signaling her return home.

Suggestions

Consider adding a moment of reflection for each character as they say goodbye to Dorothy, allowing for a deeper exploration of their individual growth and journeys.
Enhance the visual storytelling by incorporating symbolic gestures or actions that further emphasize the emotional weight of the scene.
Explore the possibility of incorporating a musical element or song to enhance the emotional impact of the farewell scene.
Consider adding a final moment of closure or resolution for each character before Dorothy departs, providing a sense of completion to their arcs.
Ensure that the transition from Oz to Kansas is seamless and effectively conveys the emotional significance of Dorothy's return home.

Scene 43 - Dorothy Returns Home

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

DOROTHY o.s.
There's no place like home.

CS - Horse looking out from stall -

CS - Cow - CAMERA PANS slightly -

MCS - Chickens moving about -

CS - Auntie Em offers forward a plate of crullers -

LAP DISSOLVE TO:

CU -- Dorothy lying on pillow -- she mumbles -- Aunt Em's hands enter --
put cloth on Dorothy's head --

DOROTHY
(mumbling)
-- there's no place like home -- there's no
place like home --

AUNT EM o.s.
Dorothy - Dorothy! It's me -- Aunt Em.

CS -- Dorothy lying on bed -- mumbling -- she opens her eyes -- looks
around room -- CAMERA TRUCKS back showing Aunt Em seated on edge of bed --
Uncle Henry standing by -- Professor Marvel enters at window -- speaks --
Dorothy reacts -- looks at him --

AUNT EM o.s.
Wake up, honey.

DOROTHY
-- no place like home -- there's no place
like home -- no place --

AUNT EM
Dorothy. Dorothy, dear. It's Aunt Em,
darling.

DOROTHY
Oh, Auntie Em -- it's you!

AUNT EM
Yes, darling.
PROFESSOR MARVEL
Hello, there! Anybody home? I -- I just
dropped by because I heard the little girl
got caught in the big -- Well....

MCU -- Dorothy -- Camera shooting down past Aunt Em at right --

PROFESSOR MARVEL o.s.
...she seems all right now.

UNCLE HENRY o.s.
Yeah.

MS -- Dorothy lying in bed -- Aunt Em seated by her -- Uncle Henry
standing by -- Professor at window -- Dorothy raises up on her elbow --
speaks -- Aunt Em puts her back on pillow -- then rises and exits -- Hunk
-- Hickory and Zeke enter -- kneel beside bed -- CAMERA TRUCKS forward --
they speak to Dorothy -- CAMERA PULLS back as Zeke and others exit right --
Aunt Em re-enters -- sits by Dorothy -- holds her head(hand) -- CAMERA
TRUCKS back -- Zeke and others standing at right --

UNCLE HENRY
She got quite a bump on the head -- we kinda
thought there for a minute she was going to
leave us.

PROFESSOR
Oh --

DOROTHY
But I did leave you, Uncle Henry -- that's
just the trouble. And I tried to get back
for days and days.

AUNT EM
There, there, lie quiet now. You just had
a bad dream.

DOROTHY
No --

HUNK
Sure -- remember me -- your old pal, Hunk?

HICKORY
And me -- Hickory?

ZEKE
You couldn't forget my face, could you?

DOROTHY
No. But it wasn't a dream -- it was a place.
And you -- and you -- and you -- and you were
there.

PROFESSOR
Oh --
(others laugh)

DOROTHY
But you couldn't have been, could you?

AUNT EM
Oh, we dream lots of silly things when we --
DOROTHY
No, Aunt Em -- this was a real, truly live
place. And I remember that some of it
wasn't very nice....

MCU -- Dorothy -- Camera shooting down past Aunt Em --

DOROTHY
...but most of it was beautiful. But just
the same, all I kept saying to everybody
was, I want to go home. And they sent me
home.

MLS -- Dorothy lying in bed -- Aunt Em sitting by her -- Professor at
window -- Uncle Henry -- Zeke -- Hunk and Hickory standing by -- they
laugh -- Toto jumps up on to bed -- Dorothy takes Toto in her arms --

DOROTHY
Doesn't anybody believe me?

UNCLE HENRY
Of course we believe you, Dorothy.

DOROTHY
Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home!

MCU -- Dorothy holding Toto in her arms -- Camera shooting past Aunt Em at
right f.g. -- Dorothy looks around room -- speaks -- tears come to her
eyes -- Aunt Em rises -- puts her arm around Dorothy -

DOROTHY
Home! And this is my room -- and you're
all here! And I'm not going to leave here
ever, ever again, because I love you all!
And -- Oh, Auntie Em -- there's no place
like home!

FADE OUT:

FADE IN -- THE END -- FADE OUT

Genres: ["Fantasy","Adventure","Family"]

Summary Dorothy wakes up in her bed and is disoriented. She insists that she was in a real place, but no one believes her. She says that she wants to stay home forever and that there's no place like home. She begins to cry and her Aunt Em comforts her.

Strengths

Emotional resonance
Sentimental tone
Closure for the story

Weaknesses

Lack of external conflict
Predictable resolution

Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scene, making it feel disjointed.
The dialogue is a bit repetitive with Dorothy continuously saying 'there's no place like home.'
The emotional impact of Dorothy's return home could be heightened with more nuanced expressions of her feelings.
The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to create a vivid image of Dorothy's surroundings and emotions.
The interactions between the characters could be more dynamic and engaging to draw the audience in.

Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition from the previous scene to this one to maintain continuity.
Try to vary Dorothy's dialogue to convey her emotions more effectively without repeating the same phrase.
Explore different ways to show Dorothy's deep emotional connection to her home and family.
Enhance the visual elements in the scene to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Work on creating more engaging interactions between the characters to make the scene more compelling.

Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:

dorothy

Dorothy is a kind-hearted, brave, and determined young girl who longs for adventure and escape from her mundane life on the farm. She is empathetic, resilient, and always looks out for her friends. Dorothy speaks with a straightforward and heartfelt tone, reflecting her genuine emotions and desires. She tends to be direct in her communication, especially when expressing her frustrations or fears. Her dialogue is filled with optimism, curiosity, and a sense of justice, driving the group's actions forward.

aunt em

Aunt Em is a practical, no-nonsense, and caring woman who values hard work, discipline, and responsibility. She displays authority and practicality in her interactions with others, while also providing comfort and support to those she cares about. Aunt Em's speaking style is firm and no-nonsense when addressing tasks and responsibilities, but gentle and reassuring when offering comfort and guidance.

uncle henry

Uncle Henry is a kind-hearted and supportive man who cares deeply for Dorothy and the farm. He shows concern for Dorothy's troubles and offers stability and guidance in her life. Uncle Henry values order and discipline, while also embodying strength and reliability as a father figure. His speaking style is gentle, reassuring, firm, and caring, reflecting his calm demeanor, wisdom, and protective nature.

glinda

Glinda is a wise and powerful figure who exudes grace and compassion. She speaks in a calm and soothing manner, using enigmatic phrases to convey her magical nature. With a touch of mystery and authority, Glinda guides Dorothy through her journey in Oz, offering support and wisdom along the way. Her unique characteristics include her ethereal presence, magical abilities, and nurturing nature.

scarecrow

The Scarecrow is a lovable, kind-hearted, and naive character who desires intelligence and self-awareness. He is whimsical, playful, and curious, often speaking in a poetic and humorous manner. Despite lacking a brain, he is resourceful, quick-witted, and always eager to learn and grow. The Scarecrow's speaking style is a blend of logic, creativity, and humor, with a focus on problem-solving and insightful observations.

tin man

The Tin Man is a kind-hearted, gentle, and compassionate character who longs for a heart to feel emotions fully. He is loyal, selfless, and caring, always putting others' needs before his own. His speaking style is sincere, heartfelt, and soft-spoken, with a touch of melancholy. He expresses his emotions openly and reflects on the importance of love, empathy, and connection with others.

lion

The Lion is a character who initially presents himself as boastful and powerful but reveals his vulnerability and fear, showing a potential for growth in courage. He speaks with a mix of bravado and insecurity, using humor to mask his true feelings. As the story progresses, he struggles with his own insecurities and fears, often masking them with grand gestures and exaggerated expressions. However, through the support of his friends, he gradually finds the courage to face his fears and become the brave and loyal companion he aspires to be. His speaking style evolves from shaky and hesitant to bold and confident, reflecting his journey from cowardice to courage.

Character	Arc	Critique	Suggestions
dorothy	Dorothy's character arc in the screenplay involves her transformation from a curious and innocent girl to a brave and compassionate leader. Throughout the story, she learns the importance of home and family, while also discovering her own strength and courage. As she faces challenges and overcomes obstacles, Dorothy grows into a resilient and empathetic individual who is willing to stand up for what she believes in and protect her friends.	The character arc for Dorothy is well-developed and engaging, showcasing her growth and development throughout the story. However, there could be more emphasis on her internal struggles and emotional journey, allowing the audience to connect with her on a deeper level. Additionally, providing more moments of vulnerability and self-reflection could add complexity to her character and make her arc even more compelling.	To improve the character arc for Dorothy, consider incorporating more scenes that delve into her internal struggles and emotional growth. Show moments of vulnerability and self-reflection, allowing the audience to see her inner turmoil and personal development. Additionally, explore her relationships with other characters in more depth, highlighting how they influence her journey and shape her decisions. By adding layers to Dorothy's character, her arc will become even more impactful and resonate with the audience.
aunt em	Throughout the screenplay, Aunt Em starts off as a strict and disciplined figure, focused on maintaining order and instilling responsibility in Dorothy. However, as the story progresses, she begins to show a softer side, providing comfort and support to Dorothy in times of need. By the end of the screenplay, Aunt Em has evolved into a well-rounded character who balances discipline with compassion, embodying the importance of both hard work and love in family relationships.	The character arc for Aunt Em is well-developed and allows for growth and depth in her character. However, it could benefit from more specific moments or scenes that highlight her transformation from a strict disciplinarian to a more nurturing figure. This would help to further emphasize the complexity of her character and the importance of her role in Dorothy's life.	To improve the character arc for Aunt Em, consider adding scenes that delve deeper into her relationship with Dorothy and show the progression of her character more explicitly. This could include moments where Aunt Em struggles with balancing discipline and compassion, or scenes that reveal her own vulnerabilities and fears. By adding more depth and complexity to Aunt Em's character arc, the audience will be more invested in her journey and the impact she has on Dorothy's life.
uncle henry	Uncle Henry starts off as a supportive and protective presence in Dorothy's life, offering stability and guidance. As the story progresses, he faces challenges that test his strength and reliability, ultimately leading him to confront his own vulnerabilities and fears. Through these challenges, Uncle Henry learns to open up emotionally and deepen his connection with Dorothy, evolving into an even more compassionate and understanding father figure.	The character arc for Uncle Henry is well-developed, but it could benefit from more specific challenges that force him to confront his vulnerabilities and fears. Additionally, his emotional growth could be more clearly depicted throughout the screenplay.	To improve the character arc, consider introducing specific obstacles that directly challenge Uncle Henry's strength and reliability. Show his emotional growth more explicitly through his interactions with Dorothy and other characters. Provide moments of introspection and vulnerability to highlight his journey towards becoming a more compassionate and understanding father figure.
glinda	In the screenplay, Glinda starts off as a mysterious and powerful figure who guides Dorothy with grace and wisdom. As the story progresses, she becomes more involved in Dorothy's journey, offering support and guidance in times of need. Towards the climax, Glinda reveals the true extent of her powers and sacrifices herself to protect Dorothy and her friends, ultimately leading to a resolution where Dorothy learns important lessons and gains the courage to face her fears.	The character arc for Glinda is well-developed, but it could benefit from more depth and complexity. While Glinda's role as a mentor and protector is clear, there is potential to explore her own struggles and motivations further. Additionally, her sacrifice towards the end could be more impactful if it is foreshadowed or tied to her personal growth throughout the story.	To improve the character arc for Glinda, consider adding scenes that delve into her backstory and inner conflicts. Show moments of vulnerability or doubt that humanize her character and make her sacrifice more poignant. Additionally, foreshadow the sacrifice earlier in the story to build tension and emotional resonance. By adding layers to Glinda's character, the audience will be more invested in her journey and ultimate sacrifice.
scarecrow	The Scarecrow starts off as a bumbling and confused character who longs for a brain to understand the world better. Throughout the screenplay, he goes on a journey of self-discovery and growth, gradually gaining intelligence and wisdom. He faces challenges that test his problem-solving abilities and bravery, ultimately proving himself to be a valuable and integral part of the group. By the end of the story, the Scarecrow not only gains a brain but also gains confidence in his own abilities and a deeper understanding of himself and the world around him.	The character arc for the Scarecrow is well-developed and engaging, showcasing his growth and development throughout the story. However, there could be more emphasis on his internal struggles and doubts about his own intelligence, as well as more opportunities for him to showcase his problem-solving skills and resourcefulness. Additionally, the resolution of his arc could be more impactful and emotional, highlighting the significance of his journey and growth.	To improve the character arc for the Scarecrow, consider adding more scenes that delve into his internal struggles and doubts about his intelligence, as well as moments that showcase his problem-solving skills and resourcefulness. This will add depth to his character and make his growth more compelling. Additionally, focus on creating a more impactful and emotional resolution for his arc, highlighting the significance of his journey and the lessons he has learned along the way.
tin man	The Tin Man starts off as a character unable to move or speak without oil, but as he joins Dorothy on her journey, he becomes more expressive and emotionally vulnerable. Throughout the screenplay, he learns the value of love, compassion, and friendship, ultimately finding his own heart and embracing his humanity.	The character arc for the Tin Man is well-developed and allows for emotional growth and transformation. However, there could be more specific challenges or obstacles that the Tin Man faces along the way to finding his heart, adding depth to his journey and creating more opportunities for character development.	To improve the character arc, consider incorporating moments where the Tin Man's lack of a heart causes conflict or hinders his ability to connect with others. This could create more tension and emotional stakes, leading to a more impactful resolution when he finally discovers his heart. Additionally, explore the Tin Man's internal struggles and doubts more deeply, showcasing his journey towards self-acceptance and emotional fulfillment.
lion	The Lion's character arc in the screenplay involves a transformation from a boastful and insecure character to a brave and loyal companion. He initially struggles with his own fears and insecurities but through the challenges he faces and the support of his friends, he gradually finds the courage to overcome his weaknesses and become a true leader. His journey is one of self-discovery and growth, ultimately leading him to embrace his inner strength and face his fears head-on.	The character arc for the Lion is well-developed and engaging, showcasing his growth from cowardice to courage. However, there could be more depth added to his internal struggles and moments of vulnerability to make his transformation even more impactful. Additionally, providing more specific challenges and obstacles for the Lion to overcome could further enhance his character development.	To improve the character arc for the Lion, consider delving deeper into his internal struggles and insecurities, allowing the audience to connect more deeply with his journey. Introduce more nuanced challenges and obstacles that force the Lion to confront his fears and doubts, pushing him to grow and evolve as a character. By adding layers to his development and showcasing a wider range of emotions, the Lion's transformation will be even more compelling and resonant.

Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Pattern	Explanation
Playful and Upbeat Tones are often associated with lower emotional impact.	Scenes with a playful or upbeat tone often have a lower emotional impact compared to those with more intense or dramatic tones. This suggests that the author may be using these scenes to provide a sense of levity or to balance out the heavier moments of the story.
High Stakes and Emotional Impact are strongly correlated.	Scenes with high stakes tend to have a greater emotional impact on the audience. This suggests that the author is effectively using these scenes to create tension and excitement.
Whimsical scenes are used to indicate a change in characters.	Scenes with a whimsical tone often coincide with significant character changes or developments. This suggests that the author is using these scenes to signal that the characters are undergoing a transformation or growth.
Tense scenes or those with high stakes often move the story forward.	Scenes with a tense or high-stakes atmosphere are often used to progress the story and create a sense of urgency. This suggests that the author is using these scenes to keep the audience engaged and invested in the plot.
Dialogue scores are often lower than other elements.	Dialogue scores are consistently lower than other elements such as concept, plot, and characters, indicating that the screenplay may benefit from improvements in the dialogue to enhance its overall impact.
Scenes with high emotional impact often have more dialogue.	Scenes with a high emotional impact tend to have more dialogue compared to those with a lower emotional impact, suggesting that the author may be using dialogue to convey the characters' emotions and inner struggles.

Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

The screenplay showcases the writer's unique voice and skill in creating engaging and imaginative storytelling. The scenes effectively convey a range of emotions, from humor and adventure to suspense and emotional depth. However, there are opportunities for further refinement, particularly in terms of character development and thematic exploration.

Key Improvement Areas

Character Development

Some scenes lack depth in character motivations and relationships, limiting the emotional impact and relatability of the characters.

Thematic Exploration

While the screenplay introduces interesting themes, some scenes could benefit from more nuanced and cohesive exploration of these themes throughout the narrative.

Dialogue

Some scenes rely heavily on expositional dialogue, which can hinder the natural flow and engagement of the storytelling.

Suggestions

Type	Suggestion	Rationale
Screenplay	Read 'Save the Cat' by Blake Snyder for insights on structuring scenes and character development.	This book provides practical tips on crafting compelling narratives and engaging characters, which can enhance the writer's storytelling skills.
Video	Watch videos on character development and dialogue to refine your writing style.	Visual learning can provide insights into effective character interactions and dialogue.
Exercise	Practice writing dialogue between characters with conflicting goals to deepen their relationships and motivations.Practice In SceneProv	This exercise can help the writer explore the dynamics between characters and create more nuanced interactions in their scenes.
Screenplay	Study screenplays with strong thematic depth, such as 'The Shawshank Redemption' or 'Moonlight'.	These screenplays demonstrate how to effectively weave themes into the narrative, creating resonant and impactful stories.
Exercise	Practice writing scenes that subtly reveal character motivations through actions and subtext.Practice In SceneProv	This exercise will help the writer develop their skills in crafting authentic and engaging characters.
Exercise	Practice writing dialogue-driven scenes that advance the plot and reveal character dynamics.Practice In SceneProv	This exercise will enhance the writer's ability to create natural and engaging dialogue that drives the story forward.

Additional Notes: Overall, the screenplay showcases promising storytelling abilities and a strong foundation for further development. By addressing the identified improvement areas, the writer can elevate their craft and create even more compelling and impactful narratives.

Stories Similar to this one

Story	Explanation
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1939 Film)	A young girl named Dorothy is transported to the magical land of Oz, where she meets a Scarecrow, a Tin Man, and a Cowardly Lion, who join her on a journey to meet the wizard who can help her return home.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005 Film)	Four children are transported to the magical land of Narnia, where they must help the lion Aslan defeat the evil White Witch.
Alice in Wonderland (1865 Novel)	A young girl named Alice falls down a rabbit hole into a strange and wonderful world, where she meets a talking rabbit, a mad hatter, and a queen of hearts.
The Wizard of Oz (1900 Novel)	The original novel by L. Frank Baum upon which the 1939 film was based.
The Lion King (1994 Film)	A young lion cub named Simba must learn to embrace his destiny as king after his father's death.
The Wizard of Oz (1985 Musical)	A musical adaptation of the 1939 film, with new songs and characters.
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013 Film)	A prequel to the 1939 film, telling the story of how the Wizard of Oz came to be.
Emerald City (2017 TV Series)	A modern retelling of The Wizard of Oz, set in a dark and dangerous world.
Once Upon a Time (2011 TV Series)	A fantasy drama series that features characters from The Wizard of Oz, among others.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope	Trope Details	Trope Explanation
The Wizard	The Wizard of Oz is a powerful wizard who helps Dorothy and her friends on their journey. He is initially presented as a wise and benevolent figure, but is later revealed to be a humbug.	The Wizard of Oz is a classic example of this trope. He appears to be a powerful and wise wizard, but it is later revealed that he is merely a man behind a curtain.
The Wicked Witch	The Wicked Witch of the West is the main antagonist of the film. She is a powerful witch who wants to get Dorothy's ruby slippers.	The Wicked Witch of the West is a classic example of this trope. She is a powerful and evil witch who wants to harm Dorothy.
The Cowardly Lion	The Cowardly Lion is a lion who is afraid of everything. He joins Dorothy and her friends on their journey because he wants to be brave.	The Cowardly Lion is a classic example of this trope. He is a lion who is afraid of everything, but he eventually overcomes his fear and becomes brave.
The Tin Man	The Tin Man is a tin man who wants to have a heart. He joins Dorothy and her friends on their journey because he believes that the Wizard of Oz can give him one.	The Tin Man is a classic example of this trope. He is a man who wants to have a heart, but he eventually realizes that he already has one.
The Scarecrow	The Scarecrow is a scarecrow who wants to have a brain. He joins Dorothy and her friends on their journey because he believes that the Wizard of Oz can give him one.	The Scarecrow is a classic example of this trope. He is a scarecrow who wants to have a brain, but he eventually realizes that he already has one.
The Yellow Brick Road	The Yellow Brick Road is a magical road that leads to the Emerald City. Dorothy and her friends follow the Yellow Brick Road on their journey to meet the Wizard of Oz.	The Yellow Brick Road is a classic example of this trope. It is a magical road that leads to a magical place.
The Emerald City	The Emerald City is a magical city that is ruled by the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy and her friends travel to the Emerald City to meet the Wizard and ask him to help them.	The Emerald City is a classic example of this trope. It is a magical city that is filled with wonder and excitement.
The Ruby Slippers	The Ruby Slippers are a pair of magical shoes that Dorothy wears on her journey. The Ruby Slippers can transport Dorothy to any place she wants to go.	The Ruby Slippers are a classic example of this trope. They are a magical object that can be used to achieve great things.
The Good Witch	The Good Witch of the North is a good witch who helps Dorothy on her journey. She gives Dorothy the Ruby Slippers and tells her how to get to the Emerald City.	The Good Witch of the North is a classic example of this trope. She is a good witch who helps the protagonist on their journey.
The Bad Witch	The Wicked Witch of the West is a bad witch who wants to get Dorothy's ruby slippers. She tries to stop Dorothy and her friends from reaching the Emerald City.	The Wicked Witch of the West is a classic example of this trope. She is a bad witch who wants to harm the protagonist.

Theme

Theme Details

Themee Explanation

Self-Discovery

Dorothy's journey through Oz helps her discover her own inner strength and self-reliance.

Self-discovery is the process of gaining insight into one's own character, motives, beliefs, and desires.

Strengthening Self-Discovery:

Suggestion Type	How to Strengthen the Theme
Character Arc	Emphasize Dorothy's initial feelings of isolation and loneliness at home to establish a clear starting point for her journey of self-discovery. This will enhance her transformation as she embraces her strengths and finds a sense of belonging in Oz.
Character Arc	Highlight the Scarecrow's search for wisdom and understanding beyond his limited intelligence. Show him encountering challenges and setbacks that force him to confront his own limitations and develop a deeper understanding of the world around him.
Character Arc	Explore the Tin Man's emotional journey as he grapples with his perceived lack of a heart. Emphasize his desire for connection and compassion, and show him gradually developing empathy and understanding through his interactions with others.
Character Arc	Showcase the Lion's struggle with self-doubt and anxiety. Portray him as a character who masks his fears behind a facade of bravado, and gradually reveal his true nature as he learns to embrace his vulnerability and find courage within himself.
Story Arc	Incorporate scenes where the characters reflect on their experiences and growth. These moments of introspection will reinforce the theme of self-discovery and provide opportunities for the characters to articulate their newfound understanding of themselves and the world.

Friendship

Dorothy forms strong bonds with the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion, who help her on her journey.

Friendship is a relationship characterized by mutual affection, trust, and support.

Courage

Dorothy and her friends must overcome their fears and challenges to achieve their goals.

Courage is the ability to face danger or difficulty without fear.

Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site	Description
Studio Binder	Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly	Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August	Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics	Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme	Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script	Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts

Voice Analysis
Summary:	The writer's voice in this screenplay is whimsical, heartwarming, and imaginative. It effectively captures the magic and wonder of Oz, while also exploring themes of friendship, courage, and self-discovery.
Voice Contribution	This unique voice contributes to the script by creating a sense of enchantment and adventure. It draws the reader into the world of Oz and makes the characters and their journeys relatable and engaging.
Best Representation Scene	1 - Toto's Trouble
Best Scene Explanation	Scene 1 effectively introduces Dorothy's character and her longing for a better life. The dialogue captures her innocence and determination, while the conflict with Miss Gulch sets the stage for her journey to Oz and the adventures that lie ahead.

Originality

Overall originality score: 8.5
Overall originality explanation: The screenplay exhibits a high level of originality with its imaginative characters, unique settings, and unexpected twists and turns. The concept of a young girl traveling to a magical land and meeting a diverse cast of characters is not entirely new, but the screenplay introduces several fresh and engaging elements that set it apart.
Most unique situations: - Dorothy meets a scarecrow who wants a brain, a tin man who wants a heart, and a lion who wants courage, all while trying to find her way home from a strange and wonderful land. - Dorothy and her friends must overcome obstacles and challenges, including a wicked witch who wants to steal her ruby slippers, while learning valuable lessons about themselves and the world around them. - The screenplay takes a unique approach to exploring the themes of courage, kindness, and the importance of home, making it a memorable and heartwarming story.
Overall unpredictability score: 9
Overall unpredictability explanation: The screenplay is highly unpredictable, keeping the audience engaged and guessing what will happen next. The story takes several unexpected turns that challenge the audience's expectations and add to the overall suspense and excitement of the film. The characters' motivations and actions are often unpredictable, which creates a sense of uncertainty and keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal Goals	The protagonist's internal goals revolved around seeking safety, belonging, and self-discovery as she navigated the fantastical world of Oz.
External Goals	The protagonist's external goals focused on overcoming challenges, seeking guidance from the Wizard, and finding her way back to Kansas.
Philosophical Conflict	The overarching conflict revolved around facing fears, discovering inner strength, and challenging traditional beliefs about power and self-worth.

Character Development Contribution: The protagonist's goals and conflicts led to her growth and empowerment, as she discovered her inner strength, found courage, and learned the importance of self-belief.

Narrative Structure Contribution: The goals and conflicts drove the narrative forward by creating obstacles, challenges, and character development moments that propelled the protagonist's journey towards self-discovery and resolution.

Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflicts added thematic depth to the screenplay by exploring themes of courage, friendship, self-worth, and the journey towards understanding one's true potential.

Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site	Description
Creative Screenwriting	How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder	What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict	How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great	By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals	By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?

World Building

Physical environment: The screenplay depicts a fantastical world with elements of magic, whimsy, and unique physical characteristics such as colorful buildings, talking animals, and enchanted objects.
Culture: The cultural elements in the screenplay include singing, dancing, and communal celebrations among the characters. There is a sense of camaraderie and unity in the interactions between the characters.
Society: The societal structure in the screenplay is hierarchical, with powerful figures like the Wizard of Oz and the Wicked Witch holding significant power over the inhabitants. There is a sense of power struggle and authority among the characters.
Technology: The technological aspect in the screenplay is minimal, with a focus on magic and supernatural elements as the primary form of power in the world.
Characters influence: The unique physical environment, culture, society, and technology shape the characters' experiences and actions by creating a whimsical and magical atmosphere that influences their interactions, decisions, and motivations.
Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute to the narrative of the screenplay by providing a fantastical backdrop for the characters' journey and adventures. The physical environment, culture, society, and technology add depth and richness to the story, creating a sense of wonder and mystery.
Thematic depth contribution: The world elements contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring themes of courage, friendship, power, and the importance of home. The fantastical world serves as a metaphor for personal growth and self-discovery, as the characters embark on a transformative journey to find what they desire most.

Story Engine Analysis

central conflict

Dorothy's desire to return home versus the challenges she faces in Oz.

primary motivations

Dorothy's longing for her family and home.
The Scarecrow's desire for a brain.
The Tin Man's desire for a heart.
The Lion's desire for courage.

catalysts

Dorothy's house being lifted by a cyclone and transported to Oz.
Dorothy accidentally killing the Wicked Witch of the East with her house.
The Wizard promising to grant Dorothy's wish to return home if she kills the Wicked Witch of the West.
The companions meeting Glinda, who helps them realize their true potential.

barriers

The Wicked Witch of the West's attempts to kill Dorothy and take her ruby slippers.
The challenges the companions face as they travel to the Emerald City.
The Wizard's reluctance to grant Dorothy's wish to return home.
The companions' own doubts and fears.

themes

The power of friendship.
The importance of self-belief.
The dangers of prejudice.
The value of home.

stakes

Dorothy's life and the fate of Oz.

uniqueness factor

The story's unique setting and characters, as well as its exploration of personal growth and overcoming challenges.

audience hook

The story's relatable characters and themes, as well as its exciting and heartwarming plot.

paradoxical engine or bisociation

The paradoxical engine of the story is the idea that Dorothy's greatest strength lies in her belief that she can return home, even though she is far away in a strange land.

paradoxical engine or bisociation 2

The concept of bisociation is also evident in the story, as Dorothy's journey in Oz helps her to discover her own inner strength and courage.

Engine: Gemini

Screenplay Rating:

Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay for "The Wizard of Oz" is a classic story with strong character introductions, memorable musical numbers, and a fantastical setting. However, the pacing could be improved in the second half, and some secondary characters could benefit from further development. The thematic significance of the ruby slippers could also be explored more deeply. Overall, this is a recommendable screenplay with the potential to be a successful and beloved film.

Strengths

Strong character introductions with distinct personalities and motivations for Dorothy's farmhands. high ( Scene 2 Scene 3 )
Professor Marvel's character is engaging and adds both humor and emotional depth to the story. high ( Scene 5 )
The Munchkinland sequence is visually stunning and introduces the whimsical and fantastical world of Oz effectively. high ( Scene 8 Scene 9 Scene 10 )
The iconic "Follow the Yellow Brick Road" song effectively propels the narrative forward and sets the tone for Dorothy's journey. high ( Scene 12 )
The introduction of the Horse of a Different Color and the "The Merry Old Land of Oz" song further enhance the whimsical and fantastical atmosphere of Oz. medium ( Scene 24 )

Areas of Improvement

The pacing of the screenplay could be tightened in the second half, particularly after Dorothy arrives in Emerald City. Some scenes could be trimmed or combined to maintain a sense of urgency and momentum. medium
While the primary characters have clear motivations, some secondary characters, like the Winkies, could benefit from additional development to make their actions and allegiances more understandable. low
The ending, while emotionally satisfying, feels slightly abrupt. Exploring the aftermath of Dorothy's return to Kansas and her reunion with her loved ones could provide a more complete resolution. low

MissingElements

The screenplay could benefit from a deeper exploration of the thematic significance of the ruby slippers. While their magical power is evident, their symbolic meaning in relation to Dorothy's journey and self-discovery could be further emphasized. medium

NotablePoints

The "Over the Rainbow" song is a powerful and iconic moment that beautifully captures Dorothy's yearning for a better life and foreshadows her journey to Oz. high ( Scene 3 )
The introduction of the Wicked Witch of the West is memorable and establishes her as a formidable antagonist. high ( Scene 11 )
The revelation of the Wizard as a humbug is a pivotal moment that highlights the theme of self-reliance and the importance of inner strength. high ( Scene 39 Scene 40 )

Engine: GPT4

Screenplay Rating:

Highly Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay of 'The Wizard of Oz' is a masterful blend of fantasy, adventure, and musical elements, with strong character arcs and a timeless narrative structure. Its themes of self-discovery, courage, and the significance of home continue to resonate with audiences, making it a highly recommended script for adaptation or study.

Strengths

The screenplay effectively uses fantasy elements to create a vivid and imaginative world that captivates the audience. high
Character development is strong, particularly for Dorothy, who undergoes a clear and impactful transformation throughout the story. high
The screenplay maintains a consistent theme of self-discovery and the importance of home, resonating deeply with audiences. high
Pacing is well-managed, with a good balance of action, dialogue, and musical elements that keep the story engaging from start to finish. medium
The use of the hero's journey narrative structure is effectively executed, providing a satisfying and classic storytelling experience. medium

Areas of Improvement

Some dialogue can feel dated or overly simplistic, which might not resonate as well with modern audiences seeking more complexity in character interactions. medium

MissingElements

NotablePoints

The innovative use of Technicolor in the film adaptation of this screenplay brought the vivid descriptions to life, setting a benchmark in visual storytelling. high

Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number	Line
42	Dorothy: There's no place like home.
3	Dorothy: Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high, There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
29	Lion: I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks. I do -- I do -- I do -- I do -- I do -- I....
28	Oz: I am Oz, the Great and Powerful!
37	ALL: Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!

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The Wizard of oz

Executive Summary

Poster

Overview

Pass/Consider/Recommend

Recommend

Market Analysis

Analysis Criteria Percentiles

Writer's Voice

Characters

Story Shape

Screenplay Story Analysis

Scene 1 - Toto's Trouble

Scene 2 - Barnside Banter and a Close Call

Scene 3 - Dorothy's Troublesome Afternoon

Scene 4 - Toto's Fate

Scene 5 - Dorothy's Homecoming

Scene 6 - A Distant Cry

Scene 7 - Dorothy's Journey to Munchkinland

Scene 8 - Dorothy Meets Glinda and the Munchkins

Scene 9 - Celebration in Munchkin City

Scene 10 - Welcome to Munchkinland and the Wrath of the Witch

Scene 11 - The Ruby Slippers

Scene 12 - The Yellow Brick Road

Scene 13 - The Scarecrow's Dilemma

Scene 14 - The Scarecrow's Dream of a Brain

Scene 15 - Meeting the Scarecrow

Scene 16 - The Apple-Throwing Trees and the Rusted Tin Man

Scene 17 - The Tin Man's Heartless Woe

Scene 18 - Confrontation with the Witch

Scene 19 - Encounter in the Eerie Forest

Scene 20 - The Lion's Cowardice

Scene 21 - Song and Journey

Scene 22 - Dorothy and the Poppy Field

Scene 23 - Arrival at the Emerald City Gate

Scene 24 - The Merry Old Land of Oz

Scene 25 - The Wicked Witch's Threat

Scene 26 - The Lion's Coronation

Scene 27 - A Call to Courage

Scene 28 - An Audience with Oz

Scene 29 - Into the Haunted Forest

Scene 30 - The Jitterbug Attack

Scene 31 - The Attack of the Winged Monkeys

Scene 32 - Dorothy's Impending Doom

Scene 33 - The Lion's Bravery

Scene 34 - Rescue from the Tower

Scene 35 - Trapped in the Witch's Castle

Scene 36 - The Melting of the Witch

Scene 37 - Triumphant Return to Oz

Scene 38 - The Wizard's Deception

Scene 39 - The Wizard's Honorary Awards

Scene 40 - The Wizard's Gifts

Scene 41 - The Wizard's Departure

Scene 42 - Dorothy's Return to Kansas

Scene 43 - Dorothy Returns Home

Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:

Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

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Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

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central conflict

primary motivations

catalysts

barriers

themes

stakes

uniqueness factor

audience hook

paradoxical engine or bisociation

paradoxical engine or bisociation 2

Engine: Gemini