INT. ZEFFIE'S FLAT - BEDROOM - MORNING
There is a large CALVIN AND HOBBES MURAL on the wall - the one
where Spaceman Spiff gets shot down by Aliens. Clothes lie
everywhere. Empty pizza boxes are stacked in the corner.
Creativity and chaos in equal measure.
Suitcases lie open on the floor - like they're screaming for
help.
A large PINBOARD: Random photos, Post-it notes, scribbled
timelines and printouts. A linkedIn profile page for the Dubai
based ad Agency, BMDM. Zeffie's birth certificate is pinned in
the corner - the father's name missing. In the centre: a faded
photo of a young man with massive '80s hair, circled in red
marker, with ‘Manchester’ scribbled underneath. A sticky note
with a solitary word. ‘Mum’.
From under the DUVET: Gentle snoring. A clump of dirty blonde
hair pokes out.
A phone RINGS. The hair doesn't move. The phone rings again.
A groan. Movement, as the duvet shifts.
Underneath, an AWKWARD 180 DEGREE SPIN unfolds, as the body
rotates and crawls towards the foot of bed, searching for the
phone. The ringing continues.
ZEFFIE (O.S.)
(shouts from under the duvet)
Hang on!
Zeffie (29) pulls back the duvet and peeps out from the end of
the bed - upside down, hair everywhere, phone in hand.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
(groggy)
Hello?
JORDAN (V.O.)
Zeffie Jones?
She squints at the phone.
ZEFFIE
Yeah. Speaking. Who is this?
JORDAN (V.O.)
Jordan Forbes. BMDM. Dubai.
She tries to sit upright and slides off the side of the bed.
THUD!
ZEFFIE
Owww.
And tries to gain some sort of composure.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
Hi. Yes. Good morning.
JORDAN
(registers the 'thud')
Is this a good time?
Zeffie wipes her eyes. No, this is not a good time.
ZEFFIE
Perfect.
Zeffie finds a bottle of water and drinks. Jordan continues.
JORDAN (V.O.)
I’m calling about your recent
interest in joining BMDM.
ZEFFIE
Ok..?
JORDAN
That was quite the barrage of
applications you sent in. We
counted eleven.
She cringes.
ZEFFIE
(nervous)
Was I successful?
JORDAN (V.O.)
No. Not at all. We filled that
particular position three weeks
ago.
ZEFFIE
(deflated)
Well thank you for letting me know.
Long pause.
JORDAN (V.O.)
Here's the thing...
Zeffie takes another, much needed, gulp of water.
JORDAN
There's been an ‘interesting’
development. As a result, a new and
very exciting role has opened up. A
role... directly supporting our
Creative Director. The Squid.
Her breath catches.
ZEFFIE
(trying to sound casual)
I’ve heard of him.
JORDAN
My HR team said you came across as
'quirky and slightly unhinged?'
Fair assessment?
ZEFFIE
I prefer 'enthusiastic.'
JORDAN (V.O.)
Let’s go with ‘unhinged
enthusiasm’. Love it. And that's
exactly what we need right now.
Zeffie scans the pinboard and bites her lip.
JORDAN
In one of your applications, you
mentioned - and I'm quoting here -
'no ties in the UK, no family to
speak of, and you don't own that
much stuff.' Would that still be
accurate?
Zeffie winces. Caught.
ZEFFIE
Completely accurate.
JORDAN (V.O.)
So, my question is this. Would you
be able to start this Friday?
ZEFFIE
Friday? This actual Friday?
Zeffie glances around her bedroom. She bites a clump of hair
and looks up at her pinboard. Beat. Decision made.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
I can be there Friday.
JORDAN (V.O.)
Excellent. HR will be in touch to
formalise the offer and send you
all the details. You and I will
have a chat to go over everything
when you land. We look forward to
seeing you this Friday, Zeffie
Jones.
The call ends.
She get up and heads across to the pinboard and the picture of
the man with the big hair. (beat) She takes it off the board
and places it on her bed.
The reality of what has just unfolded, now hits her.
ZEFFIE
Shit.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
2 -
Frantic Deceptions
INT. SMART CAR - LONDON STREET - DAY
Music blares as Zeffie steers her battered Smart Car, whilst
frantically shovelling pizza into her mouth. A Coke Zero
balances on the dashboard. Luggage is crammed into the back
seat.
She checks her reflection in the mirror. Hair - a magnificent
disaster - check. Clothes - crumpled but still looks rather
‘cool’ - check. A chunk of CHICKEN slips off onto the floor.
ZEFFIE
Oops.
Her phone rings. Zeffie scrambles and presses her nose on the
screen to accept the call. It connects to the car. On the
other end of the line is Zeffie’s big sister, CRESSIDA (32).
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
I'm ten minutes away.
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
Cool. We are all here. And we're sticking to the
story?
ZEFFIE
Unless you've got a better one.
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
'Amazing job opportunity, leaving
tonight, no big deal', blah blah
blah - that's the play.
ZEFFIE
They called me. They want me. This
is it. Not sure what else am I
supposed to say?
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
The truth? That you think...
ZEFFIE
(interrupts)
No. Not until I'm sure. I need you
to back me up on this.
Beat. Cressida sighs.
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
Fine. But if this goes sideways,
I'm saying I tried to stop you.
ZEFFIE
Deal.
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
Mum is going to shit several kittens.
ZEFFIE
(grimaces)
I know.
CRESSIDA (V.O.)
You’re fucking mental. Love you.
Zeffie takes a big chug of Coke Zero.
ZEFFIE
Love you too.
She ends the call.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
3 -
Unexpected News at the Dinner Table
EXT. PLUSH SUBURBIA HOUSE - DAY
Zeffie powers up the drive and slides to halt in front of a
sprawling house. She checks her phone.
ZEFFIE
Let’s do this.
INT. PLUSH SUBURBIA DINING ROOM - DAY
The Jones family patiently sit around the dining table.
Parents TIMOTHY (62) and JEMIMA (59) sit on one side.
Opposite, CRESSIDA (32) and GRANDMA (81). A place is set for
one more. They wait.
TIMOTHY
Did she say what this was about?
JEMIMA
Just 'I have news.' That's never a
good thing with her. Remember the
Van?
TIMOTHY
God. I had forgotten about the Van.
GRANDMA
(whispers to Cressida)
I'm wearing my 'everything is about
to go tits up' cardigan.
CRESSIDA
(nervous)
Wow. Really?
GRANDMA
I wore it at your cousin's wedding.
CRESSIDA
She's dead Gma.
GRANDMA
Exactly.
A car door SLAMS! An alarm goes off — frantic beeping.
The alarm eventually stops. We HEAR the jangling of keys in
the front door. CRASH! - something expensive gets knocked
over, followed by a muffled profanity. Another crash and more
swearing.
Cressida mouths to herself: 'Here we go.'
Finally Zeffie, the youngest daughter of Jemima and Timothy
enters the room, with smile turned up to 11.
PING! Zeffie checks her mobile. Her car is arriving in ten
minutes. She runs round the table greeting everyone like it’s
a Traitors breakfast. Finally, Zeffie is ready to address the
group.
ZEFFIE
Just wanted to let you all know...
I'm leaving for Dubai. Tonight. My
flight is in three hours.
(MORE)
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
There's a car coming. I wanted to
pop in and say goodbye.
The group is stunned.
JEMIMA
What the..?
Grandma pulls her cardigan tighter.
CRESSIDA
(playing along)
Tonight? As in today? Tonight? But
it's good news right?
ZEFFIE
Yep. I got a great offer. At an
agency. They need me to start
immediately.
JEMIMA
Isn't this a bit...I don't know...
SUDDEN!!?
ZEFFIE
It's a big Agency. Things happen
fast. I'll know more when I land.
Cressida jumps in - this is her cue.
CRESSIDA
Well I think this is fantastic. My
little sister exploring deepest,
darkest... Dubai.
Timothy is NOT buying it.
TIMOTHY
Hold on. You had no job yesterday.
Now you're leaving to the Middle
East. Tonight?
Zeffie looks to Cressida. Tiny panic.
CRESSIDA
(jumping in)
She's been applying for months, Dad.
Things happen fast!
Beat. Cressida shoots her sister a supportive look. Zeffie
mouths 'thank you.'
TIMOTHY
I am not driving all the way to
Dubai to come and save your arse!
ZEFFIE
I know Dad. I know.
PING! Her car is arriving soon. Jemima stands.
JEMIMA
Kitchen! Now!
Jemima heads out. Zeffie follows.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
4 -
A Mother's Concern
INT. JONES FAMILY KITCHEN - DAY
ZEFFIE
I don't have much time.
JEMIMA
Then we better talk fast. Dubai?
What do you mean Dubai?
ZEFFIE
I've landed a job. At an amazing
agency. They called and said they
need me there tomorrow.
Jemima scrubs a pot that's already clean. Zeffie grabs a tea
towel, picks up a dry plate from the rack.
JEMIMA
You've never mentioned Dubai. Not
once.
ZEFFIE
It just... happened.
JEMIMA
No. Don't. Don't do that.
ZEFFIE
Do what?
JEMIMA
Your 'deflecty smiley' thing. What
aren't you telling me?
Jemima waits for an answer that doesn't come.
JEMIMA (CONT’D)
Your sister's been lying since you
walked in. We're not idiots.
ZEFFIE
She was trying to help.
Jemima pushes hard.
JEMIMA
Why?
ZEFFIE
(struggling)
Hard to explain right now. But it
is important. I promise.
Jemima searches her daughters face. Her tone shifts.
JEMIMA
Are you in trouble?
ZEFFIE
No. Not in trouble.
JEMIMA
Then what?
ZEFFIE
This is just a 'me' thing.
Sometimes you get a box, that you
just got to find the tick for.
She studies Zeffie's face - looking for cracks in the armour.
Nothing.
Jemima sets down her sponge, dries her hands. Jemima knows she
won't get anything more from her daughter.
JEMIMA
I don't understand what you're
doing.
ZEFFIE
I know.
JEMIMA
And I think you're making a huge
mistake.
ZEFFIE
(quietly)
I know.
Jemima sighs - She’s not angry, just tired. And worried.
JEMIMA
You've always been like this. Since
you were little. Once you've
decided on something...
ZEFFIE
(small smile)
Stubborn?
JEMIMA
I prefer determined.
She opens her arms. Zeffie steps into the hug.
JEMIMA (CONT’D)
(into her hair)
And if whatever this is goes
sideways...
ZEFFIE
I'll call.
JEMIMA
(pulling back, looking at
her)
I mean it. I don't need you to be a
hero.
They hold the hug a moment longer. Jemima releases her.
JEMIMA (CONT’D)
Your father's probably pacing a
hole in the driveway.
Zeffie heads for the door, then turns back. They share a simple
moment of connection.
ZEFFIE
Mum?
JEMIMA
Go...
Genres:
["Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
5 -
Bittersweet Farewell
EXT. JONES' HOUSEHOLD DRIVEWAY - DAY
Zeffie stuffs her luggage into the waiting car. The family
line up to say goodbye. The cold reality of what she is doing
is now hitting her. Zeffie goes down the line saying her
goodbyes.
She throws her car keys to Cressida.
ZEFFIE
There might be some chicken under
the front seat.
Cressida nods. That's not unexpected. Zeffie saves the biggest,
longest hug for Grandma.
GRANDMA
I really do hope you find what
you're looking for.
ZEFFIE
I hope so too, G Ma.
Zeffie jumps into the back of the car. Timothy turns to the
group.
TIMOTHY
She'll be back by Monday.
ZEFFIE
(leaning out window)
I will not be back by Monday!
The car disappears down the street. The family watches until
it's gone.
Genres:
["Drama","Family"]
Ratings
Scene
6 -
A Toast in Business Class
INT. EMIRATES A380 - BUSINESS CLASS - NIGHT
An impossibly fresh FLIGHT ATTENDANT shows Zeffie to her seat.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
(perfect poise)
Ms. Jones, welcome. You are in 11A this evening.
She sits and takes in the luxurious seat, desperately trying
to mask her giddy excitement.
ZEFFIE
(to herself)
This is definitely not MegaBus to
Glasgow.
Zeffie randomly pushes buttons. She inadvertently triggers a
full ‘lie flat’ bed transformation. She fights to maintain her
composure as she descends to horizontal - just as the flight
attendant returns with champagne.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
Champagne?
ZEFFIE
(calmly)
Thank you.
She takes the glass - still horizontal.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
And perhaps some dates?
ZEFFIE
(uncertain)
Are they... included?
The attendant smiles warmly.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
Everything is complimentary, Ms. Jones
ZEFFIE
(processing this information)
Everything?
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
(amused)
Everything.
The attendant leaves. Zeffie takes out the photo of the man
with big hair, and sets it on the mini bar and allows herself
a small smile of determination.
ZEFFIE
(raising her glass)
Tits up, G-Ma !
She takes a sip.
FADE TO:
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
7 -
Arrival in Chaos
EXT. SCENES OF DUBAI - DAY
Titles over: Dubai. Glittery, modern, exciting. A real buzz.
EXT. DUBAI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT ARRIVALS - MORNING
Zeffie emerges from the terminal with her best movie star
confidence, gnawing on a giant duty free Toblerone.
BAM! The heat and humidity hit hard.
She shuffles towards the waiting crowds. Behind her, families
push and shove.
Zeffie clings to her Toblerone and tries to remain stoic, as
the mayhem escalates. A BUSINESSMAN barrels through with an
overloaded luggage cart, scattering Zeffie, her bags and her
Toblerone. Passengers step around her. A SECURITY GUARD spots
Zeffie and helps her gather up her things.
Zeffie tries to maintain her composure. She calmly readjusts
her sunglasses, just as OMAR (55) the BMDM driver, approaches.
He has an instantly likeable demeanour - think an Asian Tom
Hanks. He holds up a sign that says ‘Zeffie Jones - BMDM’
OMAR
Are you okay madam?
ZEFFIE
Fine. Thank you.
OMAR
My name is Omar. From BMDM. Welcome
to Dubai.
They head off towards Omars parked car.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
8 -
A New Beginning
INT. OMAR'S CAR - MORNING
The AC blasts. Omar hands Zeffie a chilled water. She drinks,
leans back, closes her eyes.
INT. ZEFFIE’S APARTMENT - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
Omar unlocks the front door and holds it open for Zeffie. She
steps in. Wow. Now this is an apartment.
Omar walks through, opening doors.
OMAR
Kitchen, bedroom, bathroom.
Everything you need.
He places a FOLDER on the counter top.
OMAR (CONT’D)
Wi-Fi details and emergency numbers
are in the folder. Mr. Jordan
expects us at the office. I will
wait downstairs.
ZEFFIE
(she has no choice)
Thank you, Omar.
He nods and leaves.
OMAR
Ten minutes please, Ms. Zeffie!
Door closes.
Zeffie drops her bags and takes in the apartment properly.
Yes, everything is oversized with too much draped fabric, too
many pillows, and way too many urns. But Zeffie is delighted.
She pulls out the PHOTO of young Squid complete with massive
'80s hair, and sets it on the counter.
She looks at the photo. The urns stare back at her. This is
really happening. She checks her phone, and races off to find
the bathroom.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
9 -
Bureaucratic Frustration
INT. BMDM AGENCY RECEPTION - DAY - DOWNTOWN DUBAI
The cathedral-like lobby of award-harvesting Advertising
Agency, BMDM, screams ‘major player’.
Workers bundle past Zeffie as she approaches the front desk. A
snippy RECEPTIONIST (25) springs up.
RECEPTIONIST
Oooooh. Hello there!
ZEFFIE
Ooooh. Hello. Hi. Here to meet
Jordan Forbes. I’m starting today.
Zeffie Jones.
RECEPTIONIST
... do you have an appointment?
ZEFFIE
No. I’m starting work today. I’m
supposed to meet Jordan Forbes.
RECEPTIONIST
Visitors need an appointment.
ZEFFIE
I'm not a visitor. I work here.
RECEPTIONIST
Mmm-kay. Let me check if I can make
an appointment for you.
She checks screen. Long pause.
RECEPTIONIST (CONT’D)
I have May 18th? Late afternoon?
ZEFFIE
That’s two weeks away.
RECEPTIONIST
You can wait and see if there's a
cancelation.
ZEFFIE
Are there likely to be any
cancelations?
RECEPTIONIST
Of course not.
ZEFFIE
Maybe you could just phone Mr.
Forbes for me?
RECEPTIONIST
Not without an appointment!
The Receptionist drops back down.
Zeffie retreats, digs in her bag and pulls out her SKETCH
PAD. She takes out a marker pen and scribbles. She rips off
the page, stands in the middle of the vast lobby and holds it
up for the passing throngs. Her sign reads ‘HELP’, alongside
a caricature of Zeffie with wild flailing arms.
She stands rooted to the spot whilst the hordes TIME LAPSE
around her.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
10 -
A Chaotic Welcome
INT. BMDM AGENCY RECEPTION - LATER
Handsome, charismatic JORDAN FORBES (55), BMDM’s slick CEO,
powers through the front doors. He spies Zeffie and her sign,
executes a huge sweeping turn, pulls his phone up to his face
and skids up.
JORDAN
(into phone)
... I want all the revolving doors
to spin counter-clockwise. It sends
a message.
Jordan ends his ‘call’.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
Help?
ZEFFIE
Zeffie Jones. I’m starting today.
JORDAN
Yes you are. Jordan Forbes.
Jordan awkwardly tries to fist bump Zeffie. A roller-blading
hostess glides up with a tray of breakfast mocktails. Jordan
hands Zeffie a ‘Guava Bomb’.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
I heard about your Toblerone. Tough
break. Walk with me.
INT. AGENCY CORRIDORS - DAY
Zeffie and Jordan power walk the Agency corridors, sipping
their drinks. They catch up with FIZZ MAALOUF (40), Agency
planner, speed-walking whilst frantically texting.
Fizz glances over his shoulder and discreetly tries to outpace
them to the lift. Jordan increases his speed - no way Fizz is
winning this. Zeffie gets dragged along in slipstream. They
all pile into the elevator and blast skyward.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
11 -
Elevator Escapade
INT. BMDM AGENCY, ELEVATOR - MOMENTS LATER
Jordan eyes Fizz suspiciously whilst sucking on his Bomb.
JORDAN
So. Zeffie? That’s a curious name.
Can I get human resources to change
that for you?
ZEFFIE
I’m good thanks.
Jordan passes Zeffie his drink and starts to slowly flex up
and down. Fizz keeps his head down and steps back. He knows
what is coming.
Jordan starts some gentle bouncing.
JORDAN
Bouncing - whilst gaining altitude -
obliterates fat and drastically
increases libido.
The bouncing gets more intense. A concerned Zeffie, backs into
the corner of the lift while trying to hold on to the Guava
Bombs.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
I discharge five hundred bounces a
day.
Jordan gives Fizz a look that says, ‘Join in, or you are
fired’. Fizz and Jordan continue to bounce in perfect unison.
The elevator RATTLES and shakes. An ALARM goes off.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
Feel it. Feel it. Feel it.
The bouncing reaches a crescendo.
Jordan stops bouncing, lands softly and checks his pulse.
BING! They reach the 20th floor. Doors open. Jordan powers out
ahead of Fizz. Zeffie follows, horrified.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
12 -
Crisis Management and Potato Guns
INT. JORDANS OFFICE - DAY
The office is massive, slick and tasteful. Jordan slides into
his chair and leans back. He casually flips through Zeffie’s
CV and frisbees it back onto the desk.
He gestures over his shoulder to a framed picture of Jordan
and a man known as THE SQUID, both decked out in tuxes and
clutching awards. Zeffie stares at the picture.
ZEFFIE
That’s Cannes 2015.
Jordan looks at her, puzzled.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
(covering)
I did my research.
JORDAN
Well two days ago he shot a client
in the face with a potato gun..
Zeffie is stunned.
ZEFFIE
What?
Jordan flips his desk monitor around. Silent SECURITY CAM
footage of the ‘incident’ unfolds.
A conference room. The Squid is animatedly twirling what looks
like a gun whilst holding up creative work. BAM! Jordan pauses
the video - just as the client is blasted backwards off his
chair.
JORDAN
Right in the face.
Zeffie leans in, studying Squid on the screen. It is the first
time she's seeing Squid in motion.
ZEFFIE
Is he... okay?
JORDAN
It was a lot of potato.
ZEFFIE
No, I meant...
Jordan looks at Zeffie. Odd question.
JORDAN
Squid?
ZEFFIE
Yes.
JORDAN
He's suspended. The board want him
humanely destroyed. That’s why we
called you.
ZEFFIE
Sorry. I’m confused...
JORDAN
Client is seeking substantial
damages and is ready to sue. I need
someone to keep an eye on the
department while we sort this mess
out.
ZEFFIE
Working directly with Squid?
JORDAN
Yes. And no. I need you to be my
eyes and ears. I need to know if
anything goes sideways. Making sure
nothing else explodes.
Jordan leans in.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
We have a traumatic 6 months coming
up.
(MORE)
JORDAN (CONT’D)
I need a safe pair of hands to help
get me through the next few weeks
with no more collateral damage. You
are now...those hands.
Jordan pauses. He looks at the frozen image of Squid on the
monitor - he scrolls the image back and forward. He points to
the screen.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
The guy is a psychopathic maniac.
No argument there. And, as the
board said, he probably should be
destroyed. I get that.
Jordan pauses. Zeffie stares at the screen.
But... he's also my friend. I built
this place from absolutely nothing
and in his own terrifying way - he
helped me. It's taken fifteen very
long painful years. We’ve all come
too far and worked way too hard to
let this go... and let me use the
correct business analogy
here...‘Alec Baldwin’ over some
idiotic misjudged moment with a
potato gun.
Zeffie blinks. Did he just...?
ZEFFIE
Right.
JORDAN
Two weeks max. Everything stays nice and calm...
Jordan seems to drift off with his thoughts.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
Think...non-litigious Giant Pandas, all doing Tai
Chi...
Jordan mimes a couple of very wrong Tai Chi ‘moves’ and closes
his eyes. He’s gone.
Zeffie stares at him. Concerned.
ZEFFIE
And if he does his exploding thing again?
Jordan snaps back in.
JORDAN
Then we will all go down together
in a screaming ball of flame.
Zeffie can’t tell if he is joking or not.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
HR saw desperation. But I see
creativity and determination. And I
respect that.
He grabs Zeffies makeshift ‘help’ sign, holds it up and points
to the caricature with the wild flailing arms.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
(softer) So... Can you do this Ms.
Jones?
Zeffie's mind races.
ZEFFIE
Sure. I can do this.
JORDAN
Superb.(beat) You should go
introduce yourself.
ZEFFIE
Huh?
JORDAN
I’ll take you down to HR and then
you can go meet the man behind the
gun. He’ll be sulking at Mazma.
ZEFFIE
Now?
JORDAN
Reception will point you in the
right direction.
Zeffie looks extremely uncomfortable and bites a big clump of
hair.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
You okay?
ZEFFIE
Yeah. Just... first day nerves.
Jordan clicks on his desk phone and calls through to his PA.
JORDAN
Can we rustle up a nice new
Toblerone for Miss Jones please?
He looks at the increasingly perturbed Zeffie, then leans back
into the desk phone.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
Make it a big one.
They head to the door.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
13 -
A Game of Persistence
INT. MAZMA COFFEE SHOP - DAY
The coffee shop gently hums with the clatter of espresso
machines and mumbled conversations in Arabic, English, Hindi.
Emirati professionals, expats on laptops, wellness types
drinking fresh juices.
Zeffie enters. New sounds and smells - all wrapped in the
pulsing energy of Dubai.
She scans the café. One person stands out. SQUID (58), life-
battered expat, sits alone at a corner table with a CHESS
BOARD set up mid-game. Both sides have pieces missing. He's
playing against himself.
Zeffie DUCKS behind a decorative STUFFED CAMEL. Freezes. She
realises how absurd this is, composes herself, and weaves
through the tables. Squid is absorbed in his game.
ZEFFIE
Squid?
Head down, scanning the chess board.
SQUID
Fuck off.
ZEFFIE
I'm Zeffie.
He looks up. A slight flicker of embarrassment.
SQUID
(less hostile, but still brusque)
I’m extremely busy.
ZEFFIE
Jordan asked me to come say hello.
Squid refocuses on his board.
SQUID
Goodbye.
Zeffie spies a chair, and drags it across the floor. It makes
an appalling noise.
ZEFFIE
I’m going to be lending a hand
while things get sorted.
She sits down opposite Squid. And stares at him - really
stares.
SQUID
I did not invite you to sit?
Zeffie takes in every detail.
SQUID (CONT’D)
You and your tragic little
backpack, need to head back to the
airport.
ZEFFIE
Sorry. No can do.
A Waiter approaches to take their order.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
I get the hostility. You've
obviously been through a lot -
what with shooting that guy in the
face.
The Waiter pauses mid-approach. Remains unflustered.
WAITER
Are we ready to order?
Squid goes first.
SQUID
Another iced tea. No ice. Just the
tea. Nothing for her... she’s
leaving.
Zeffie jumps in.
ZEFFIE
Actually, I will have a lemony tea
thing, please. Hold the ice. Thank
you.
The waiter heads off. Awkward silence. Squid leans in.
SQUID
Please tell Jordan to shove this
badly timed gesture, right up his
muscular backside.
ZEFFIE
It’s my first day. I can’t do that.
You know we were supposed to be
working together, right?
Zeffie leans in closer to Squid.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
(quieter)
Why on earth would you take a
potato gun into a presentation?
The customers at the next table glance around nervously.
Squid digs into his bag, unfurls a piece of paper and reads a
clearly pre-written statement.
SQUID
'I now understand that (glances at
nearby customers)’accidentally’
blasting a big chunk of potato
directly into my client's face, may
not have been the most respectful
or appropriate way to present the
brilliance of my work. In the
future, when I choose to present my
ideas, I will make more effort to
ensure I avoid inflicting trauma on
those around me. Be that emotional,
physical or psychological. (beat)
Or, like in his case, all three'.
Squid folds the paper up and puts it back in his bag. Job done.
He leans back into his chair.
SQUID (CONT’D)
We done here??
Zeffie doesn't move.
ZEFFIE
Where did you find a potato gun?
SQUID
I have a friend in the Souk.
ZEFFIE
It did look brutal.
SQUID
You’ve seen it?
ZEFFIE
Jordan played me the slow mo
version.
Squid rolls a PAWN across his knuckles, flipping it from
finger to finger in continuous motion.
SQUID
... Zoe is it?
ZEFFIE
Zeffie.
SQUID
Zeffie. What are you doing here?
ZEFFIE
Jordan asked me to...
SQUID
No. Here in Dubai. Right now.
ZEFFIE
I’m here to help.
SQUID
No one flies four thousand miles to
‘help’?
ZEFFIE
Change.
SQUID
From?
ZEFFIE
London. England. The usual.
SQUID
The usual what?
ZEFFIE
Life. Things. It's not that deep.
SQUID
It’s always deep. I have friends in
HR - they showed me your file. I am
not sure you were being completely
honest about a lot of things on
your application. I’ll go as far as
to say, you’ve lied to get here?
Zeffie's stomach drops. How does he know? She remains stoic.
ZEFFIE
I wanted the job and the chance to
work with you. Worked, didn’t it?
SQUID
Are you here to get me fired?
ZEFFIE
No.
SQUID
Is this going to get YOU fired?
ZEFFIE
Possibly.
The waiter brings the drinks. Squid watches, as Zeffie fishes
a rogue ice cube out with her tongue. It PLOPS out, SKIDS
across the floor. She looks up.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
I don’t like ice.
They sip their tea in silence. He’s curious now.
SQUID
So what kind of a weird-ass name is
Zeffie?
ZEFFIE
I like it.
SQUID
What’s it short for?
ZEFFIE
Zeffie.
She shifts gears. Turns it back on him.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
What about you? You’re named after
a mollusc. Hippy parents? Drunk
caregiver?
SQUID
Nobody knows and trust me, nobody
cares.
ZEFFIE
Married?
SQUID
(slight pause)
Not any more.
Zeffie tries to break the tension.
ZEFFIE
Did you kill her?
Squid looks up. Slight smile.
SQUID
No. She left.
ZEFFIE
Why?
Zeffie’s question hits hard. Squid stares at his chess board.
SQUID
I was a horrific husband.
ZEFFIE
Horrific?
SQUID
Children...
Zeffie's breath catches. She covers by drinking her iced tea.
SQUID (CONT’D)
She wanted. I didn’t. She left.
Probably a very smart move.
ZEFFIE
Really?
SQUID
Absolutely.
They both take a moment to reset.
SQUID (CONT’D)
What do your parents think of all
this?
ZEFFIE
They are very supportive.
SQUID
My parents actually ate their
young. I’m pretty sure I’m missing
a little brother.
Squid sips his iced tea. Zeffie keeps going.
ZEFFIE
My Grandma has a cardigan for when
things go tits up.
SQUID
(almost smiles)
Smart lady.
ZEFFIE
I’ve seen a lot of your work. All
the Guinness stuff. You were quite
the genius.
SQUID
That particular genius left the
building a very long time ago.
(uncomfortable beat). Now... If
you will excuse me, I think we are
done here. I need to get back to my
game. I’m losing.
Zeffie tries to keep the conversation flowing.
ZEFFIE
My favourite ad is Honda ‘Cog’.
Squid is exasperated.
SQUID
No it’s not. You think it is. But it’s not.
ZEFFIE
(embarrassed)
Budweiser ‘Wassup’.
Zeffie has another clump of hair in her mouth.
SQUID
You eat a lot of hair.
ZEFFIE
It’s a nervous thing.
Squid piles on the pressure.
SQUID
What is the most scared you've ever been?
ZEFFIE
Pepsi Max. Blackpool.
He stares at Zeffie.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
And right now.
Squid checks his watch.
SQUID
(stands)
I don't have time for this.
Grabs his jacket, signalling the end of their meeting.
SQUID (CONT’D)
Tell Jordan I'm fine. Or don't. I
do not give a shit. I’m off to get
polluted with my mates. I trust
that we will never see each other
again.
Squid heads out.
Zeffie sits there, processing what just happened. On the table
beside the chess board, she notices Squid has left his phone.
She looks at it. At the door. Back at the phone. Her hand moves
toward it and stops. She checks the door - he’s not coming back.
She grabs the phone and heads towards the exit, just as the
Waiter glides over with the bill, blocking her path.
WAITER
Madame...
Zeffie grabs and dissects the bill.
ZEFFIE
Six iced teas? Two cheesecakes??
What the hell is a charcoal
smoothie??
Zeffie doesn’t have time for this. She fumbles through her
wallet - British pounds, Euros, a crumpled Tesco’s voucher.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
Do you take... any of this?
WAITER
(patient)
Card is fine, madam.
She jams her card into the reader. It BEEPS angrily. Declined.
She tries again. BEEP. Declined.
ZEFFIE
No no no no...
WAITER
Perhaps another card?
She digs through her wallet and finds another card. Jams it in.
The reader thinks. Thinks. DING. Approved.
ZEFFIE
Thank you. Sorry. Bye!
She bolts for the door.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
14 -
Chasing Shadows
EXT. MAZMA COFFEE SHOP
Zeffie bursts out into afternoon heat. Squid is nowhere to be
seen.
ZEFFIE
Damn it!
She spots Squid. He’s walking fast, disappearing into the
crowds. She chases after him.
Zeffie eventually catches up - heart pounding. Humidity
killing her hair.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
You forgot your phone!
He stops and turns.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
(breathless)
You... Forgot... Your phone...
He takes it and offers no thanks.
SQUID
Right.
He turns to leave. Zeffie digs in her bag and pulls out a
brand new BUSINESS CARD.
ZEFFIE
HR gave me these. I don't know
anyone in Dubai yet. You're the
first to get one.
She holds it out. He stares at it.
ZEFFIE (CONT’D)
(awkward)
In case... you know... work stuff.
Beat. He takes the card.
SQUID
(reading)
Zeffie Jones. You won’t last a week.
He pockets it without another word and starts to walk away.
Zeffie stands there, watching him go. She’s hot, confused, and
very close to having a major cardiac event. Fuck it. She lets
the words just tumble out.
ZEFFIE
Were you ever in Manchester?
He stops. Turns back.
SQUID
(confused)
What?
ZEFFIE
Manchester. Were you ever there?
SQUID
(getting annoyed)
Why?
ZEFFIE
Indulge me. Just... yes or no?
Squid is frustrated. This woman just won’t stop.
SQUID
I started my career in Manchester.
Why?
Her heart pounds.
ZEFFIE
When?
SQUID
'90s.
ZEFFIE
Year?
SQUID
(irritated)
I don't know. '93, '94, '95? I
moved around a lot. Manchester,
London, Leeds. Wherever the work
was.
ZEFFIE
But you could have been there in '94?
SQUID
Maybe. No idea. Look, it was
thirty years ago. I was lying on
the floor of the Hacienda for most
of it. I have no clue. Remembering
stuff is not my thing. I just met
you and I have no idea what your
name is...
ZEFFIE
It’s on the card. Zeffie.
SQUID
And I will have forgotten you
within the hour, Zeffie.
He turns. Walks away. She stands there watching him go.
ZEFFIE
(shouts after him)
You name is Terrance!
He stops dead. He turns slowly and stares.
SQUID
(very quiet)
What did you say?
ZEFFIE
(she's can't take it back)
I know your real name is Terrance.
SQUID
(steps toward her)
Nobody knows that. Nobody calls me
that. How do you know this?
She can't answer.
SQUID (CONT’D)
(quietly, scared)
Who the hell are you?
SQUID (CONT’D)
(backing away)
Stay away from me.
He turns. Walks away, and Zeffie is left alone.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery","Character Study"]
Ratings
Scene
15 -
A Fragile Return
INT. BMDM AGENCY - LATE AFTERNOON
Zeffie returns to the BMDM offices. Bedraggled and dazed. She
tries her security pass. It doesn't work. A kind GUARD lets
her through. Jordan spots her from his office and comes out.
JORDAN
How did it go?
ZEFFIE
(forced smile)
Fine.
He knows she's lying. But doesn't push.
JORDAN
Omar is downstairs. He will take
you to your apartment.
ZEFFIE
Actually... I think I need to
figure out getting home by myself.
JORDAN
(respects her decision)
Green line. Two blocks that way.
And well done today.
She manages a small smile and heads for the elevator.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
16 -
Navigating the Unknown
EXT. DUBAI STREET MONTAGE - EVENING
Zeffie starts walking, navigating the labyrinth of bustling
streets. Taxis speed past, horns blare. Locals pump out Arabic
music from massive 4x4’s. The noise, the crowds, add to her
confusion.
Overwhelmed and adrift, Zeffie finally discovers the Metro
station. Zeffie stares at the metro map, squinting at the
incomprehensible symbols and lines. Around her, commuters move
at pace, whilst Zeffie scrunches her brow in bewilderment. She
tries a card payment and fails. The second attempt works, and
her ticket pops out. She breathes a sigh of relief as her
ticket emerges. It’s a small victory but she’ll take it.
INT. DUBAI METRO - NIGHT
Zeffie is alone in the carriage, her face smooshed up against
the window, taking in the enormity of what she's doing. She
watches this new and unknown world glide by.
She reaches her stop. Stepping out, Zeffie takes a deep
breath, feeling like she just survived the first of many
challenges. She slowly spins round, a tiny speck in this
massive city, desperately searching for a familiar landmark.
EXT. ZEFFIE'S APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
Looks up at tower. Takes breath.
ZEFFIE
(to herself)
Day one. Tick.
She goes inside.
Genres:
["Drama","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
17 -
Reflections in Chaos
INT. SQUID'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
The front door opens. Squid enters and drops his keys in a
ceramic bowl.
The apartment is chaos. A battered Fender Stratocaster leans
against the wall. In the corner, a long-forgotten pinball
machine, fighting for space with a bright orange mohair sofa.
The bookshelves overflow with art books, ad annuals, vinyl
stacked horizontally. On the floor there are THREE chess boards,
all mid-game. He's playing multiple versions of himself - and
losing at all of them.
A framed award (Cannes 2015) leans against the wall, never hung,
gathering dust. Pristine amongst the chaos: A small handmade
clay figure of a tiger (Hobbes) sits on a shelf.
Squid clicks on some music - Orinoco Flow by ENYA.
He moves to the kitchen, opens the fridge and stares. Nothing
appeals.
He grabs a bag of Monster Munch from a cupboard, rips it open,
and deliberately empties the entire packet onto the floor.
SQUID
(shouts)
Sweep-Io!!!
He waits.
A robot vacuum whirrs out from under the sofa and rolls toward
the mess. Squid watches as Sweep-Io attacks the corn-based
treats.
He cannot settle. He drops onto the sofa, grabs a nearby chess
board. Moves a piece. Instantly regrets it. Moves it back.
In the corner, a saggy old cardboard box. He slides onto the
floor, crawls over and opens it up.
Inside: Old portfolios. Campaign print-outs. Faded industry
magazines. Award submissions from another life.
Squid digs through and pulls out a dog-eared CREATIVE REVIEW
MAGAZINE. 1994.
He flips through the faded pages, and stops on a spread: "RISING
STARS OF MANCHESTER'S AD SCENE ‘94."
A photo of young Squid with other 20-somethings. Massive hair,
cigarettes, attitude and loads of swagger.
Caption beneath: 'Terrance Squires, 24, Copywriter, Fold &
Crease, Manchester.'
He was younger. Hungrier. A very different person.
SQUID (CONT’D)
(to the photo)
What a twat.
Squid climbs back onto the sofa with the magazine. His knees
CRACK audibly. He grimaces, adjusts.
He removes his wallet, takes out Zeffie's business card.
Stares at the card and then to the magazine photo beside him.
Back at the card. He pulls out his phone and types something.
His thumb hovers over ‘send’. Long beat. He looks at the
magazine spread again - and hits send.
Genres:
["Drama","Character Study"]
Ratings
Scene
18 -
Reflections in Solitude
INT. ZEFFIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
The day's events have finally caught up with Zeffie. She flops
onto the sofa, opens a beer and just lies there.
She pulls out her phone, scrolls through her music library
finds ‘Hey little girl’ by Icehouse - and hits PLAY.
Zeffie sets the phone on table and gets up and wanders around
the apartment, gently adjusting and rearranging her new world.
She attempts to unpack, tossing her clothes across the room
onto the waiting furniture.
The music fills the apartment. She’s not quite dancing.
Just... letting go the tension of the day.
Arms out, she’s spins slowly, letting herself be ridiculous
and free. Nobody is watching. She moves around the apartment
like it's hers. She spins past the tedious urns. Past the
excessive pillows. Lost in the moment.
She grabs her open bag. The photo of young Squid falls out and
lands on the floor. She stops and picks it up.
The man with massive '80s hair who became the man she met
today.
She's moving again. Eyes closed. Letting go. Her phone BUZZES.
She doesn't hear it. The song continues.
The phone BUZZES again. Zeffie stops and goes to the phone.
The music is still playing. She picks it up. There is a text
message from an unknown number.
She opens the message: 'Manchester 94/95. Yes. Why?' She
pauses the music.
Her new world has just dramatically shifted.
EXT. ZEFFIE'S BALCONY - CONTINUOUS
She slides down the wall and sits, her phone in her hand and
her beer beside her.
Silence. Just muffled rumble of the Dubai street sounds from
below.
She types: "Thank you." Instantly deletes it. Types: "Can we
talk?" Deletes it. Types: "I don't know..." Deletes it.
Beat. She saves the unknown number, simply as: 'Terrance'.
She grabs her beer and drinks. The phone buzzes. She ignores
it. Buzzes again. She flips it over, face-down on the floor.
Zeffie pulls her knees up, wraps her arms around them and
stares out at the shimmering Dubai skyline.
END OF EPISODE