Snowmen Don't Leave Footprints

A quirky Londoner with no family ties impulsively jets to Dubai for a dream ad job, only to discover her enigmatic boss might be the father she never knew—igniting a chaotic quest for truth amid potato-gun mishaps and corporate intrigue.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The unique combination of a personal father-daughter mystery set against the backdrop of Dubai's high-stakes advertising world creates a fresh take on both the family drama and workplace genres. The protagonist's unconventional approach to finding her biological father through infiltrating his professional life offers a compelling hook that distinguishes it from typical family reunion stories.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
Claude
 Consider
DeepSeek
 Recommend
Average Score: 8.0
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
You’ve got a distinctive protagonist, a strong odd‑couple engine, and a memorable visual tone — the pilot sings. The single biggest creative fix is to commit to the mystery: make clear what Zeffie knows (and how she knows it), and sharpen the concrete stakes if she fails. Right now the 'Manchester/Terrance' reveal is tantalising but under‑signposted, and the agency crisis is vague. Plant one or two clearer breadcrumbs early (pinboard detail, a document, a family line of dialogue), define what loss looks like for Zeffie/agency, and trim repetitive comic beats so the mystery can breathe and feel inevitable rather than convenient.
For Executives:
This is a commercially attractive, character‑led dramedy with international production value — a ‘Fleabag’‑adjacent heroine set against glossy Dubai ad‑culture. It’s marketable for streaming and international audiences. The primary risk: the pilot leans on an unresolved mystery hook (Zeffie’s link to Squid/Terrance) that currently reads like a tease rather than a payable promise; if you can’t show a clear payoff plan and tighten stakes/logistics, buyers may worry about series longevity. Also shore up tone consistency and cultural nuance to avoid perceptions of lightweight exoticism. With a focused rewrite to clarify the mystery mechanics and escalate consequences, this becomes a very sellable half‑hour drama with franchise potential.
Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 55% Comedy 30% Thriller 20%

Setting: Contemporary, Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Themes: Reinvention and Self-Discovery, Family Dynamics and Obligation, The Pursuit of Opportunity and Escape, Identity and Deception, The Nature of Success and Ambition, Nostalgia and the Past, Chaos and Order

Conflict & Stakes: Zeffie's struggle to adapt to her new life in Dubai while dealing with job pressures, family expectations, and her complicated relationship with Squid, with her personal and professional future at stake.

Mood: Chaotic yet humorous, with moments of introspection and emotional depth.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The protagonist's chaotic transition from London to Dubai, highlighting cultural contrasts and personal growth.
  • Distinctive Setting: The vibrant and modern backdrop of Dubai, showcasing its unique culture and lifestyle.
  • Character Dynamics: The complex relationship between Zeffie and Squid, filled with tension and unresolved past connections.
  • Humor and Absurdity: The screenplay's blend of comedic moments with serious themes, particularly through Jordan's eccentric behavior.

Comparable Scripts: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Eat Pray Love, The Devil Wears Prada, Bridget Jones's Diary, The Intern, Wild, The Good Place, How to Be Single, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Data Says…
Feature in Alpha - Could have inaccuracies

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

1. Visual Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Visual Impact (Script Level) score: 7.4
Typical rewrite gain: +0.4 in Visual Impact (Script Level)
Gets you ~3% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~4,559 similar revisions)
  • This is currently your highest-impact lever. Improving Visual Impact (Script Level) is most likely to move the overall rating next.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Visual Impact (Script Level) by about +0.4 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: At your level, improving this one area alone can cover a meaningful slice of the climb toward an "all Highly Recommends" script.
2. Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Emotional Impact (Script Level) score: 7.8
Typical rewrite gain: +0.25 in Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Gets you ~3% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~3,550 similar revisions)
  • This is another meaningful lever. After you work on the higher-impact areas, this can still create a noticeable lift.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Emotional Impact (Script Level) by about +0.25 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: After you address the top item, gains here are still one of the levers that move you toward that "all Highly Recommends" zone.
3. Theme (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Theme (Script Level) score: 8.0
Typical rewrite gain: +0.45 in Theme (Script Level)
Gets you ~3% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Confidence: High (based on ~3,490 similar revisions)
  • This is another meaningful lever. After you work on the higher-impact areas, this can still create a noticeable lift.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Theme (Script Level) by about +0.45 in one rewrite.
  • Why it matters: After you address the top item, gains here are still one of the levers that move you toward that "all Highly Recommends" zone.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.53
Key Suggestions:
The pilot is strong on voice, visual detail and a compelling central character, but it will feel exponentially stronger if the supporting cast and external stakes are sharpened. Give 2–3 key supporting characters (mother, sister, Squid/receptionist) clear wants, fears and small arcs that directly conflict with Zeffie’s needs. Convert some of the abstract ‘pressure’ into concrete, immediate obstacles (a PR/legal threat, an internal rival, or a humiliating workplace gatekeeper) and tighten scenes around those beats to fix uneven pacing and amplify emotional payoff.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script has a vivid lead, strong tonal voice and a memorable setting, but the middle of the story drifts into episodic beats that dilute emotional momentum. Prioritize tightening Act II so every scene pushes Zeffie’s arc forward: prune or combine episodic detours, raise clear professional and personal stakes at the agency, and deepen Squid/Terrance’s backstory so his relationship with Zeffie feels consequential. Also clarify Zeffie’s core motivation earlier (a brief flashback or a single revealing moment) and balance the comedy with moments of genuine vulnerability to make her choices land emotionally.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character work is strong—Zeffie is a vivid, relatable protagonist and the agency world provides rich comedic and dramatic beats—but the episode needs clearer emotional stakes and sharper connective tissue between character moments. Anchor Zeffie’s choices to a concrete, sceneable wound (the missing father thread) and make the consequences of her impulsiveness tangible early on (what she risks by leaving, what she stands to lose/gain). Tighten Squid and Jordan arcs by giving them small, revealing beats that mirror or challenge Zeffie’s journey so their interactions land as meaningful rather than anecdotal.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script has strong moments of comedy and tension, but the emotional throughline tying Zeffie's professional arc to her personal search (the Manchester/Terrance mystery) is underdeveloped. Strengthen and seed the emotional stakes earlier—give the Manchester photo more explicit meaning in Scene 1, add a quiet moment in Scene 8 linking the apartment/new job to her search, and make Zeffie's reaction to Terrance's text in Scene 18 more emotionally defined. Also introduce a few deliberate 'breather' beats (small wins, wonder or human connection) in the busy midsection so the high-intensity beats land harder and the audience stays invested in Zeffie's interior life rather than only the external chaos.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The script has a strong emotional core—a quirky protagonist choosing independence over familial expectation—anchored by vivid set pieces and a distinctive Dubai workplace. To strengthen the episode, tighten and foreground the central conflict (ambition vs. obligation) earlier and make its costs concrete: escalate consequences at critical beats so Zeffie’s choices feel urgent, not just adventurous. Ensure the internal arc (fear → decision → ownership) is mirrored by external pressures (family reactions, workplace threat) so the finale delivers a clear emotional payoff.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The script has a strong, relatable core — a messy, charming protagonist trying to reinvent herself — but the emotional engine that should drive every scene is under-specified. Tighten and clarify Zeffie’s personal stakes and the significance of her connection to Terrance/Squid early on so the audience understands what she stands to gain or lose. Anchor the mystery to a concrete emotional wound or obligation (use the birth certificate, a flashback, or a single revealing line) and let every scene lean into how it moves her toward or away from that outcome. This will focus the tone, sharpen the arc, and make the comedy and pathos land more effectively.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
Tighten credibility and emotional through-lines. The biggest immediate fix is to make Zeffie’s ability to penetrate BMDM believable (reception override, CCTV, or Jordan spotting her HELP sign) so the story doesn’t ask the audience to suspend disbelief. Equally, Squid’s sudden flashes of introspection need to be earned with small, prior beats (a wistful look at old work, a private ritual, or half-lines that hint at regret) so his vulnerability feels authentic rather than jarringly out of character. Clean up a couple of tonal jumps (luxury flight → chaotic arrival) with a brief connective moment that conveys Zeffie’s emotional state. Finally, trim redundant nervous tics and slightly revise Jemima/Squid dialogue to avoid clichés and make emotional beats feel lived-in.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
You have a distinctive, energetic voice—witty, vividly descriptive, and able to oscillate between comedy and tenderness. To strengthen the script, tighten scene economy so every quirky description and gag pushes character or plot forward. Clarify Zeffie’s emotional throughline (what she’s running toward or away from) earlier and keep the stakes consistent so the humour amplifies, rather than undercuts, the drama. Small structural changes—compressing indulgent beats, sharpening motivations, and letting subtext do more work—will make the voice feel purposeful rather than ornamental.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
You have a vivid, character-driven pilot with sharp comic beats and strong set pieces. To elevate it, focus the next draft on deepening character arcs and clarifying stakes so every scene pushes an emotional through-line. Tighten dialogue so each voice is distinct and use the pacing of scenes to let key emotional moments breathe. Practical steps: create focused character profiles (motivations, needs, secrets), map Zeffie’s and Squid/Terrance’s arc beats across the episode, and prune or rework scenes that entertain but don’t move those arcs forward.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
Your world is a major strength — the sharp contrast between a cluttered, familiar London and a glossy, disorienting Dubai gives you an immediately cinematic throughline. To improve craft, make the environments work harder: use sensory details, recurring props (photo, Toblerone, urns) and technological beats to reveal character and escalate stakes, not just as colorful set dressing. Tighten transitions and ensure each location change advances Zeffie’s emotional arc so the audience always feels where she stands and why it matters.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
You have a strong emotional throughline and effective use of tense tones to amplify conflict, but the middle of the episode dips in momentum (notably scenes 16–17). Tighten the second-act pacing by either compressing or reworking those quieter sequences so they carry a clearer external or micro-conflict, and sharpen dialogue in introspective moments so internal beats feel active rather than passive. Also vary how plot advancement and character change align to avoid predictability—use the high-emotional payoff you already deliver to hide structural trims and keep the audience forward-engaged.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.