EXT. BROOKLYN BACKSTREETS - DAY
STEVE STEIN (53yrs-lean,slightly tattered suit, badly black
dyed freak flag but still arrogant) dashes out from a
derelict building carrying a huge cardboard box. Across the
street towards his Cherokee Jeep parked legally (for once).
Stops halfway.
STEVE STEIN
What the f...?!
Next to the Cherokee a tow truck is parked. A guy in suit and
some towing operators stands around the Cherokee preparing to
tow it away (or similar).
STEVE
Look guys...I can
explain..hey...wait a second
here...
Steve opens the backdoor and throws the box in.
SUIT GUY
According to court injunction
XP539PH3/18 from the 13th of
September (YEAR) the vehicle with
license plate WHY 666 is to be
taken in foreclosure from today...
Suit guy sounds like a medieval herald. Meanwhile Steve moves
towards the driver’s side. As he reaches for the handle the
suit guy pulls out a FOB(blipp) a locks the door. Steve
senses where this is going and pulls out his own FOB to open
the door again.
Before Steve has time to enter the suit guy has already
locked the door (one might assume he’s got a more hitech
version of the device). A FOB war emerges.
SUIT GUY (CONT’D)
(to the operators)
Clamp the car!
They start offloading the clamps.
The battery in Steve’s blipp is beginning to sag.
Then, from across the street.
MOE
Steve Stein...you cunt!...you
useless cunt!..you useless,useless
cunt!
Halfway out from a luxurious limo MOE, (60s) a hunched,
stocky, flamboyant Liberace/Rick Rubin guise, Pesci-tempered,
tons of money but no taste). One of his henchmen goes into
the derelict building.
STEVE
Look, Moe...I can explain. I got
some ideas..
MOE
You haven’t had a good idea in your
entire fucking life and I’m getting
tired of this nonsense (this tirade
can of course be ad libbed to any
actor’s satisfaction, however...)
Steve’s blipp has died. This means the suit guy is opening
and shutting the lock himself. The tow guys seems to be
confused what wheel to clamp. As Moe’s henchman now sticks
his head out a window fairly high up.
HENCHMAN
Office is secured!
He begins to throw furniture out through the window. Landing
very close to Moe’s limo.
In the following melee Steve notices the lock peg goes up an
down regardless. He times the blipp and manages to get into
the drivers seat and start the engine. Hard reverse and the
Cherokee pulls back from the clamps. Steve swerves out into
the traffic. Moe curses as they all watch for the fugitive
Steve disappear.
MOE
Don’t you fucking dare to come back
to NY before you’ve found a new
Elvis!
The office safe lands extremely close to the limo. Moe’s
attention and cursing now is focused onto something else.
EXT. BROOKLYN BRIDGE - DAY
Big fucking vista. Steve’s Cherokee is leaving Brooklyn.
Heading southwest.
EXT. STATE BORDER - DAY
The Cherokee passes a huge sign: STATE BORDER.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
2 -
Desperate Measures
INT. GAS STATION/TILL - DAY
ATTENDANT swiping Steve’s bundle of credit cards through the
machine. Almost halfway through.
ATTENDANT
Seems all of them are maxed out.
Steve in a quandary. How to get out of this mess?
STEVE
How much was it?
ATTENDANT
64.85.
STEVE
(Oh,shit) Can I use the bathroom?
ATTENDANT
Paying customers only.Otherwise 4
dollars.
STEVE
C’mon man.
Attendant reluctantly hands Steve the key to the men’s room.
INT. GAS STATION/MEN’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
As Steve enters the men's room he notices the trashcan.
INT. GAS STATION/TILL - MOMENTS LATER
Fire alarm starts ringing. Attendant picks up an extinguisher
and heads for the men’s room.
INT. GAS STATION/MEN’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
And dashes through the door. Flames licking the wall.
Attendant pounding the door.
ATTENDANT
Get out! Fire! Evacuate!
He then starts spraying the fire. Steve sneaks out as he
pulls his pants up pretending to have done no 2.
EXT. GAS STATION - CONTINUOUS
Fire alarm howling.Steve jumps into the Cherokee. Takes off
in the wrong direction. Problem solved. Temporarily...
EXT. ANOTHER GAS STATION - LATER
Steve dashing off from a gas pump. Nozzle oozing out petrol
on the ground. Attendant with shotgun running.
I/E. TENNESSEE INTERSECTION - AFTERNOON
Steve minding his own business in Cherokee: picking his nose,
singing while listening to the radio. Suddenly commotion in
the background. A burst of buckshot hits the rear window.
ATTENDANT
There he is! Get that motherfucker!
Attendant hanging out through rear window in a jeep. Aiming
at Steve.
Steve shifts gear, across the kerb into next lane, swerving
through lanes of oncoming traffic. Accelerating into the
woods. Careening into the wilderness.
EXT. THE WILDERNESS - LATER
The Cherokee careening through the WILDERNESS!
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
3 -
Thirsty Choices
EXT. PARIS TENNESSEE - EVENING
The Cherokee rolls down a slope and comes to a lull outside a
bar. Big neon sign: PAIREE Cafe Bar next to stylistic Eiffel
tower.
I/E. OUTSIDE PAIREE BAR - LATER
Steve searches through his pockets. Finds a few bills.
STEVE (TO CHEROKEE)
OK You thirsty slut. Fuel for you
or fuel for me? OK. Settled.
(MORE)
STEVE (TO CHEROKEE) (CONT'D)
You've been drinking like a fish
since we left Brooklyn. Now it's my
turn. I deserve it.
Exits car.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
4 -
A Taste of Country Chaos
INT. PAIREE BAR - MOMENTS LATER
Steve by the bar.
STEVE
Give me the cheapest you got.
JIM THE BARTENDER
Cheapest?
STEVE
Cheapest in every aspect of the
word.I am a tad short of funds.
Jim displays a bottle of Blind Beggar Bourbon (label) from
under the counter.
JIM THE BARTENDER
It doesn't get cheaper than this.
Jim pours Steve a shot. Steve examines the bottle - has a old
wrinkled guy in pigtails wearing black Ozzy style sunglasses.
Sniffs. Almost chokes.
STEVE
What are it's (cough) foremost
properties? Bleach? Urine? A whiff
of kerosene?
JIM THE BARTENDER
The ingredients are a well kept
family secret.
STEVE
(salutes)
To the family and the miracle of
inbreeding.
Steve downs the concoction. Yeuch. This calls for another
drink. Signs to Jim. Refill.
Steve hears the classic, twangy country music playing (SONG),
now seemingly louder, on the jukebox, becomes acutely aware
of all the country/cowboy paraphernalia, cowboy gear, stuffed
animals etc, adorning the bar.
He notices the mixed patronage consists of a few elderly
couples, all country, many are wearing cowboy hats.
STEVE (CONT’D)
(to no one)
Stupid hats.
Downs the shot.
LUCY DORN (40 yrs) enters. A hot MILF melting butter in her
tight khaki ranger uniform,carrying a cardboard box. Jim
grabs some Blind Beggar bottles from the box and slips them
surreptitiously under the counter.
LUCY
(glances oddly at STEVE
turns to JIM)
Hi Jim, how’s Mary?
JIM THE BARTENDER
She’s fine. Learning French. Can
you believe that? At her age?
LUCY
Show some support. Soon there’ll be
two of us in all of Paris that
actually speak French.
JIM THE BARTENDER
(play on words)
Wee-wee (Oui-Oui)
LUCY
Keep it in your pants Jimbo.Gotta
go, they're on in 5 minutes!
Lucy leaves.
Steve yells, Jim refills the glass.
STEVE
Hey bubba, what's with all this?
JIM reluctantly approaches. A stand-off. Steve gesturing
towards the jukebox.
STEVE (CONT’D)
You got your music over there which
is, I dunno what it is.
Steve points to a taxidermy display featuring two fat,
stuffed raccoons.
STEVE (CONT’D)
You got your stuffed beavers over
here.
Points to a large, mounted elk-head.
STEVE (CONT’D)
You got your stuffed horse up
there.
Points to an elderly couple at a nearby table, obviously in
love, dressed cowboy shabby-chic.
STEVE (CONT’D)
You got fucking Roy Rogers and Dale
Evens over here..
Points to Jim's large, ornate belt-buckle...
STEVE (CONT’D)
And look at your belt buckle! Are
you fucking kidding me? It’s as big
as a garbage can lid, you’re
wearing a diamond-studded garbage
can lid!
JIM THE BARTENDER
Whoa,you may want to tone down your
language some?
Steve looks around, notices the patronage around the bar
following their conversation with concern. He winces,
realizing his crazy behavior)
STEVE
I apologize. Dunno what got into
me. Sorry, man.
Downs another shot.
JIM THE BARTENDER
Well you certainly seemed rattled,
which is OK, we all get rattled
from time to time.
STEVE
The feel here, down here? You know?
The music. Seems everything else is
attached to it. It’s a force, crazy
strong. It’s twisting my head
around.
Jim refills.
JIM THE BARTENDER
(proclaims theatrically)
Well welcome to Paris, Tennessee,
yet another yankee overwhelmed by
the profound power and charisma of
country and western!
The patronage show smiles and relief. Some applause.
STEVE
Yea, thanks man.
Ruckus avoided. Return to Defcon 1.Steve tries to leave the
bar with the half empty glass.
JIM THE BARTENDER
Friendo. Sorry no open liquor
outside the premises.
STEVE
This is a historic moment . Steve
the Stone Stone landed here on...
what's the date?
JIM THE BARTENDER
24th.
STEVE
On the 24th. And now...Elvis has
left the building.
Steve downs the concoction. Staggers out.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
5 -
Drunken Disruption at the Talent Show
EXT. OUTSIDE PAIREE BAR/BAPTIST CHURCH - MOMENTS LATER
Steve surveys his environment.Reels towards the Cherokee.
Stops.
STEVE
Now what?
His attention turns to live music heard from the building
next door. A church annex sporting a big neon sign: St Joan
of Arch Baptist Church. Underneath: Tonight annual talent
show. Staggering, Steve's a moth drawn to a flame.
INT. BAPTIST CHURCH - MOMENTS LATER
Steve enters a rural church annex featuring a low stage at
the front, folding chairs on the floor and small orchestra.
Lots of folks and kids. Hustle and bustle. He makes his way
to the back.
The band is pumping up a funky beat as MARGIE, a plump girl
in yoga pants owns the stage and, facing the crowd, offers
her version of a twerk. MARGIE'S MOM, from stage right,
unsuccessfully conveys the fact that Margie should twerk with
her behind towards the audience.
Steve's eyes widen as Margie's Mom charges up on stage and
turns the still twerking Margie around in the right
direction, remaining on stage shortly to encouragingly twerk
along with her daughter.
The dance ends to cautious applause but when Margie's Mom
retakes the stage for bows Steve looses it.
STEVE
(jumps up, shouts and
applauds)
Oh my god! Wow! That was horrible!
Yay!
He sits back down laughing heartily.Many audience-members
glare.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Now that’s comedy oh my God!
PASTOR
Hey how ‘bout that Margie Heller
and her tweak dance everybody? Next
up. 14 year old Adam Lamb’s gonna
sing a popular rock song called
Iron Man! Let’s hear it for Adam!
STEVE from his seat in the back enthusiastically welcomes
young Adam.
STEVE
Yea! Sabbath! Awright!
ADAM LAMB (9yrs) a slight, slender boy takes the stage.
Confusion in the band as to who’ll play the opening riff of
the song. It falls upon an older woman on clarinet.
Adam begins singing and many are surprised at the unusual
depth and timbre of his voice.
STEVE approaches the stage and head-bangs.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Adam! Adam! Adam!
Steve tires and sits down amidst a young family and begins
outlying heavy metal bullet points.
STEVE (CONT’D)
(to scared 9 year old
girl)
Black Sabbath is the first heavy
metal band. Period. The term heavy
metal, describing the musical
genre, was derived from the lyrics
of Steppenwolfs Born to be Wild in
late 1968, months prior to the
forming of Black Sabbath? Ain’t
that some shit?
ADAM concludes Iron Man. The abrupt ending of the song
confuses the audience some, but not Steve who emphathically
and immediately cheers, alone for seconds. The crowd joins
in.
PASTOR
Ladies and gentlemen, The Bobcats
performing Treat me like a Fool!
The crown seems to heighten their level of attention as three
well mannered kids (6,8,10) perform a pleasant, harmonic
country style version of the Elvis classic.
Steve reminded now again that he actually doesn’t like
country and western music, groans loudly at the kids on
stage, procuring shushes and laser-beam stares from all.
STEVE
(loudly)
You can’t condone crap like that!
It’s hogwash. Nip it in the bud I
say.
Steve glances down the row of angry judges. Next to him sits
that pretty woman he recently saw in the bar. Lucy is not
pleased.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Shit.
Horror suddenly sets in and Steve spins to see the siblings
on stage bravely holding back their tears as they exit.
Lucy appears in Steve's face. Her face expressing disgust and
pity. She shakes her head.
STEVE (CONT’D)
I make music. I can turn turds into
gold.
LUCY
I'm sure you can.
She gets up, walks towards the stage. The Dorns rush to their
mother. Kids sulky.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Kids you did great.
STEVE
Shit.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
6 -
Drunk Dial and Swamp Dive
EXT. OUTSIDE BAPTIST CHURCH - MOMENTS LATER
Plastered Steve calls.
CLOSE UP: Moe’s mobile: Says S**TSTAIN. Moe answers while
getting a deep tissue massage.
STEVE
Hey Moe. Sup? You awake? I'm headed
for Mexico. Gonna join the cartel.
Listen, got this great idea. We hop
on the Mariachi Metal gravy train.
It's huge in Tijuana. Ear
haemorrhaging! Covers the machine
guns and screaming.
MOE
Stein? The only haemorrhaging I'm
interested in is what squirts out
of your skinny little neck after my
cartel friends rip your fucking
head off you immeasurable putz!
Moe hangs up.
STEVE
Hey Moe!? WTF?
I/E. PAIREE BAR/CHEROKEE - LATER
Steve tries to reenter the bar but to no avail. Instead he
makes an attempt to mount the Cherokee.
Lucy and the kids exit the Church Annex. They halt and
observes Steve the contortionist wringing his way into the
truck before heading to her own truck loading the kids and
their instruments. They leave.
Steve manages to get inside.
I/E. PAIREE BAR/CHEROKEE - CONTINUOUS
Steve tries to start the engine. Seems the controls are not
where they used to be. Suddenly the engine roars and Steve
slams it into reverse. Surprised the Cherokee is going
backwards Steve does a 180, shifts gears, now proceeds
forward while looking backwards. Rolls a few yards. Comes to
an abrupt halt.
Jim the Bartender appears and indicates to Steve that he
should roll down his window. Steve can't find the button but
is convinced communicating through the closed window using
half-assed sign language will suffice.
JIM THE BARTENDER
(muted)
I recommend you not to take the
car. Not in your state...
Mid-conversation Steve accidentally hits the throttle and the
Cherokee pistons itself in reverse away from the parking lot,
across the road onto a small dirt track, disappearing into
the woods.
I/E. CHEROKEE - CONTINUOUS
Steve mesmerized staring at all pedals at his disposal as the
Cherokee accelerates down the track.
I/E. CHEROKEE/SWAMP SLOPE - CONTINUOUS
The Cherokee plunges into the swamp. The halt gives Steve a
moment to contemplate which pedals and gear to use in order
to take him out of this predicament. Simultaneously the fuel
gauge starts indicating the Cherokee is seriously void of
gas. The engine dies. All this commotion has taken it's toll
on Steve. He falls asleep almost instantly.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
7 -
Swamp Encounter
EXT. CHEROKEE/SWAMP SLOPE - NIGHT
Cherokee is positioned precariously and suspiciously on thick
wet, grass next to a river, back wheels sunk in marsh. In it
sleeps Steve. Strong rays of light dancing in the mist.
O.S.
(A sharp metal tapping on
the window.)
I/E. CHEROKEE/SWAMP SLOPE - CONTINUOUS
STEVE
(discombobulated)
What the fuck!
The tapping intensifies.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Awright!
More tapping.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Two seconds for chrissakes!
Steve rolls down his window, sticks his head out squinting to
see a silhouette (LUCY) sporting a wide-brimmed hat.
STEVE (CONT’D)
What?
SILHOUETTE
Please step out of the vehicle,
sir.
STEVE
You a cop?
SILHOUETTE
(Woman's voice)
Please step out of the vehicle,
sir.
STEVE
You a chick?
SILHOUETTE
(Bangs on the roof of the
car)
Get out of the goddamn car.
STEVE
Alright already.
Steve bumbles out of his car and faces defiantly,in the murky
light, the silhouette.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Why you hassling me? I got rights.
Temporarily resting in your car is
not a crime.
Silhouette shines flashlight down on Steve's bare legs and
tighty-whities.
SILHOUETTE
Indecent exposure is. Or is running
around in your underwear just a New
York thing?
Steve notices he’s not wearing his pants. Struggles to put
them back on. As dawn progresses he recognizes the figure
before him.
STEVE
Aren’t you that Mom I saw in the
church this afternoon? With the
kids?
SILHOUETTE
(nods slowly, slyly)
Yea. That was me. Anything else
come to mind?
Steve recalls.
STEVE
Oh, dude,.listen officer,.(reads
name tag) Dorn? I dunno what to
say.
OFFICER LUCY DORN
No cop. Forest ranger, and it’s
Lucy, Lucy Dorn, and you’re Steven
Jacob Stein, 53 years of age, music
producer, Brooklyn, New York City.
I ran your plates. Lets go.
(nudges Steve towards her
truck)
OFFICER LUCY DORN (CONT’D)
You have nothing to say about
today, Mr. Stein? (Stine)
STEVE
It’s Stein (Stain). Like what?
OFFICER LUCY DORN
How about you start by saying
you’re sorry? You were really nasty
to those children, MY children, and
for what? Loving music?
STEVE
Their first big mistake.
Lucy and Steve drive off into the early morning.
I/E. LUCYS TRUCK - LATER
Lucy and Steve drive in silence.
STEVE
You arresting me?
LUCY
I’m driving you home. Where are you
staying?
STEVE
My Jeep.
Lucy stops the car.Sighs.
LUCY
Your plan was to stay the night in
your car?
STEVE
Is that against the law?
LUCY
Not really, but considering half
your truck is under water in a
swamp and come dawn it will be
crawling with gators and
cottonmouths, I'd reconsider.
Lucy puts in a gear. Takes off.
LUCY (CONT’D)
I'm taking you home.
STEVE
Why? you hate me.
LUCY
Not enough. I'm going to drop you
off with my kids. They're gonna
want to have a few words with you.
STEVE
How do you know I'm not some serial
killer?
LUCY
I believe I know people. How many
people have you killed so far?
STEVE
None.
LUCY
And how many people are you
estimating you will kill in the
near future?
STEVE
I don't know. Maybe I'll start by
whacking your kiddies when I meet
them?
LUCY
It's more about them whacking you.
STEVE
That nasty?
LUCY
Especially after they heard all
that crap you said about their act.
STEVE
Who told them?
LUCY
You did.Screaming Right up by the
stage. I also reminded them.
STEVE
What kind of mother does that to
their kids?
LUCY
This kind. What man hurts happy
children like you did? I 'll tell
you. A man that has no kids of his
own?
STEVE
I guess I'm not in a good position
to negotiate here.
LUCY
No shit. I will take you home,
you'll make breakfast.Tomorrow
morning you take my kids to school.
Deal?
Steve, slightly overwhelmed by this woman, nods in agreement.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Good! So tell me about your dog
shit life Mr Steve Stein. Firstly.
What brought you here?
STEVE
Change of scenery.
LUCY
You're a shitfaced liar. How's
this. You owe people money.
STEVE
Ish.
The couple drive on into a pleasant residential area and
eventually pull into the driveway of a small neat house.
STEVE (CONT’D)
You?
LUCY
Me.
STEVE
Ayyt.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
8 -
Twilight Reflections
INT. LUCYS HOME - LATER
Steve and Lucy enter a clean, quaint house with references to
both children/family and music. Lucy pointing.
LUCY
Couch. Quilt. Bathroom. Kitchen.
Help yourself to whatever you want
and don’t wake the kids up. They
know where the car keys are.
She moves towards the front door.
STEVE
Where you going?
LUCY
I have to finish my shift.
STEVE
Wait. When are you coming back?
LUCY
Later this morning.
STEVE
You work alone? No partner?
LUCY
(nods)
Work solo, longer hours, more
money. Easy math.
Lucy disappears down the hall. Front door closes. Steve pans
around in the twilight.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
9 -
Morning Mayhem: The Reluctant Babysitter
INT. LUCYS HOME - MORNING
Steve snoring on the couch. Mouth open. A hand-held airhorn
slowly nears his face.Faint giggles. BLLLLAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Steve bolts aghast.
STEVE
Fuuuuuuck!!!
Steve is woken by MERLE 10yrs, SHANI 8yrs, HANK 6yrs (homage
to Merle Haggard, Shania Twain and Hank Williams). Great fun!
Hank jumping around like a flange of baboons. Merle and Shani
dissecting Steve. Too closely.
MERLE
Mom says you’re supposed to take us
to school.
STEVE
Get the fuck outta here.
Steve rolls over.
SHANI
He said the f-word and he’s not
wearing any pants.
Steve yanks the short quilt down to cover his naked legs.
Again with the pants.
STEVE
(under his breath)
Go away!
MERLE
We gotta go. Mom says you’re
driving us.
STEVE
She did? No car. No car? No drive
to school. Class dismissed. G’
night.
Steve yanks the quilt up over his head exposing again his
legs. Shani giggles,
HANK
Mom left you her truck. C’mon Stein
(Stine) You gotta make breakfast
and take us to school! That's the
deal.
STEVE
Deal. Schmeal. By the way it's
Stein (Stain). Mr Stein.
Lori shows a note left by Lucy:
MERLE
(perorates)
HI KIDS. I FOUND THIS STRAY PUPPY
NEAR THE SWAMP LAST NIGHT. HIS NAME
IS STEIN. HE HAS PROMISED TO TAKE
CARE OF YOU TODAY. JUST TODAY. HE
WILL OBEY YOU AS A GOOD DOG SHOULD.
THAT'S THE DEAL.
Doesn't say Mr.Stein...
Steve reluctantly sits up on the couch and pulls on his
pants. The kids are dressed and ready.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
10 -
Pancakes and Panic at the Zoo
INT. LUCY'S KITCHEN - LATER
Messy kitchen. Severely intoxicated Steve almost pukes from
the strain. Pancake batter everywhere. A pile of burnt ones
in and around the trashcan. Kids munching. Steve manages to
swallow one or two.
MERLE
Mom says you can turn turds into
gold.
SHANI/HANK(PICKS UP INSTANTLY -
BANTER)
Turd.You are turd/no you are. You
are dog poo/you are dog poo.You are
...zoo poo/no you are zoo poo.
STEVE
It was not supposed to be taken
literally.
MERLE
Are you an alchemist?
STEVE
No. I'm a music producer.
HANK
Mom says you'regood for nothing.You
said mean things about us at church
yesterday.
STEVE
Well, you're pretty slick players
for your age, that's for sure. But
your choice of material? Country?
Has anything happened to country
music over the last 1000 years?
HANK
I dunno. I'm only 6.
STEVE
Who told you to sing that crap
yesterday?
HANK
Uncle Vizz. He's really old.
STEVE
Well, don't listen to him. Listen
to me next time. We need to go.
I/E. LUCY'S TRUCK - LATER
Truck exiting residential area.
STEVE
So where's school?
MERLE
No school today. Field trip.
ALL KIDS
(chant)
Field trip.Field trip.Field trip...
MERLE
You’re taking us to the zoo.
STEVE
Nobody mentioned anything about the
zoo.
MERLE
Field trip.
SHANI
They got octopuses.
HANK
Octopi.
SHANI
Ew.
STEVE
How long has this field trip been
planned?
MERLE
Long time.
HANK
Forever.
SHANI
They got pie with octopuses in it.
STEVE
Your Mom sign off on this?
ALL KIDS
Yes.
MERLE
Here.
Merle hands Steve a handwritten note. “Steve please take the
kids to the zoo today for a field trip. It is alright. Lucy”
STEVE
And it’s today? Field trip’s today?
ALL KIDS
Yes!
STEVE
I’m surprised your Mom didn’t
mention this to me earlier.
Steve studies the children’s faces.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Something’s fishy, but alright,
let’s go!
I/E. CAR APPROACHING ZOO ENTRANCE - LATER
The children seem unusually quiet. Steve studies them
suspiciously in the rear view mirror.
STEVE
What’s the plan? Where you meeting
up?
Kids look at each other.
MERLE
The front gate. It’s alright.
Shani and Hank nod in agreement.Steve double-parks and helps
the kids out of the car.
STEVE
Where is everybody? You sure you’re
meeting up here?
Kids nod in unison once again. A truck honks his horn at
Steve.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Call me when you’re done, OK? I’ll
come for you. Got everything? Cash?
Alright have fun.
MERLE
You're coming with us.
Steve´s petrified.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
11 -
Boredom at the Gorilla Enclosure
EXT. GORILLA ENCLOSURE - LATER
Kids banter who looks most like a gorilla. Blowing
raspberries against the filthy glass. Gorillas lethargic.
Hank on another wave length.
HANK
God. This is so boring. They don't
do anything. I'm hungry. Stein, get
us something to eat.
SHANI
It would be cool if the gorillas
ate each other.
MERLE
Even cooler if they ate you.
Steve's hungry too. Above all thirsty.
STEVE
I'll go get something to eat.
Steve spots a food court on the main square.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
12 -
Corn Dog Caper
EXT. FOOD COURT/MAIN SQUARE - CONTINUOUS
Steve stands next to corn dog stand. Checks his funds. No
cash. He observes the attendant. Leaves.
EXT. GORILLA ENCLOSURE - CONTINUOUS
STEVE
Hey kids,I need your help with
something.
HANK
What?
STEVE
I have a plan.I want you to engage
in a rumpus. Start a ruckus.
MERLE
A what?
STEVE
A ruckus, you know? A commotion, a
tactical diversion?
SHANI
What?
STEVE
Start a fake fight! From over
there.Wait For my signal.
Steve points to the corn dog stand.Kids looks excited.
They've never been asked to fake fight before.
EXT. FOOD COURT/MAIN SQUARE - CONTINUOUS
Steve signals to the kids who immediately start one hell of a
fight. Staff rushes in.Pandemonium.
Steve takes the opportunity to grab some corn dogs as
attention is drawn elsewhere. Steve stuffs the corn dogs into
his pants pockets.They're damn hot.
He returns to the gorilla enclosure in a very suspicious
manner.
Genres:
["Comedy","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
13 -
Corn Dog Chaos at the Gorilla Enclosure
EXT. GORILLA ENCLOSURE - CONTINUOUS
As there is little action overall the affray has summoned
much more staff than Steve counted on and they have now
separated the panting kids. The kerfuffle has inspired the
former lethargic gorillas that are now in a state of frenzy
behind the safety glass forcing the park to send in the
Wildlife SWAT Team to tranquilize the wretched animals.
STAFF #1
Who's in charge here?
Kids pointing at Steve.
STAFF#2
Did you read the rules board at the
entrance?
Steve grimacing as the hot corn dogs begin to burn through
his pockets.
STEVE
Eeeh, not really.
STAFF#1
This is a high risk area as we keep
wild animals, any kind of
garboil...
Steve's now forced to throw away the sizzling hot corn dogs.
Agitated voices are heard as the corn dog attendant notices
the apparent theft and approaches.
Genres:
["Comedy","Adventure"]
Ratings
Scene
14 -
Tension at the Zoo Office
INT. ZOO OFFICE - LATER
Steve and the kids sitting in the office in silence.Brooding.
Across the room two animal behaviorists observe them. Making
notes.
INT. ZOO OFFICE CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
Staff#1 explains to Deputy TOM SCHILLER (41 yrs) big, burly,
thick, and his assistant officer ALPHONSE (32 yrs Black NOLA)
pacing a step behind.
STAFF #1
You must have been in the vicinity.
Thank God you responded so quickly!
These kids have violated the park
rules that clearly state one must
not arouse the animals.
(MORE)
STAFF #1 (CONT’D)
We were forced to sedate them with
tranquilizer darts...
DEPUTY SCHILLER
The kids?
STAFF #1
No, the gorillas.An adult
perpetrator is initially detained
for theft. He had corn dogs hidden
in his pants, We believe his MO was
to smuggle them off the premises.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
The gorillas?
They have now reached the Office door. Staff#1 presses the
handle as he continues to talk.
STAFF #1
No, the corn dogs. We also suspect
the kids have been abducted as the
adult, the so called offender does
not hold an address here and seems
to be from out of town and as such
may be part of a bigger scheme of
child abductors. We might be onto
something big.
Staff#1 presses down the handle without opening the door.
This annoys Deputy Schiller displaying an impatient streak.
Genres:
["Comedy","Crime","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
15 -
Misunderstandings at the Zoo
INT. ZOO OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
The door finally opens. Deputy Schiller steps in. Flummoxed.
All kids and Steve stare at him. Equally flummoxed.
THE KIDS
(in unison)
Dad?
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Merle? Shani? Eeeeeeh...Hank?
(finds himself)
Where's the pervert?
(looks around, eyes
Steve)
The scribes resume taking notes.Instantly Dept. Schiller is
in front of Steve and pulls him up by the collar.
DEPUTY SCHILLER (CONT’D)
You creep.If you have molested my
kids I'm gonna...If you so much as
touched a hair on my kids head I'm
gonna beat you into the ground with
a car door you fuckin hippie cunt
(hefty temper on Tom) You instigate
arousal of those gorillas to set
them off while you molest my
children...you sicko pervert! I'm
fucking gonna...(Tom has vivid
imagination). We don't tolerate
child-abductors here in Paris, dirt
bag. Gorilla arousers either! You
may just find yourself in a shallow
grave in the deep woods one day my
sicko friend.
Steve tries to ripost.
STEVE
Now hold yer horses...
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Shut your pie-hole child-abductor.
The kids comes to Steve's rescue.
THE KIDS
(simultaneously)
Dad! Dad! He hasn't done anything
wrong. Mom found him in the swamp
last night. He's our puppy-dog!
Don't get angry. Don't kill him,
please...
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Mom? Puppy-dog? He's not a puppy.
He's a fucking hippie freak. This
gets more and more twisted. Why are
you not in school?
HANK
We lied. We said we had a field day
today. And we were going to the
zoo. And then we got hungry. So
Stein stolesome corn dogs. And then
the gorillas got excited.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Stein? That's your name? Stein
(Stain) you’re under arrest for
child-abduction, abandonment and
animal...badness. You have the
right to remain silent.
Dept. Schiller drops Steve back on his chair.
HANK
It's Mr Stein.
STAFF#1
(as Dept Schiller now has
calmed down)
Perhaps there's no need to press
charges at this juncture as there
seems to be no real crime committed
and the actions were without
malice. And...erm as we can see our
gorillas are calm and resting.
STAFF#2
Erm...they're ...dead.
STAFF #1
What? Dead...Bjorn? Benny? What a
disaster. What a scandal.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
We’re going home and I'm gonna have
a serious word with your mother.
I/E. LUCY'S TRUCK - LATER
Steve's driving closely following Dept Schillers truck.
The kids are pissing themselves laughing as Steve rattles
down band names he unsuccessfully produced.
STEVE
Bitchslap Cat, Cracked Dad,
Dwarfism, Creamy Emos,Grandmaster
Grape, Hasta La Vaseline,
Turdmongers,Dave and the Mistakes,
Dirk Vomit and the Tastebuds, The
Mighty Leprechauns, Crack Mannilow,
Little Miss Brittle, Spetznaz
Sisters,
HENRY
Which band was the best and which
was the worst?
STEVE
They were equal failures. But Dave
and the Mistakes had some relative
success in Sweden.
They all seems to enjoy the ride despite...
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
16 -
Confrontation at Lucy's Door
EXT. LUCY'S HOME - LATER
Dept Schiller presses the doorbell several times quite
aggressively. Finally the door opens.Lucy in a gown of
sorts.She looks at each of them. What a bunch of idiots. The
kids sneak in remorsefully.
LUCY
Here I was thinking I was gonna get
eight sweet hours of sleep but
nooo, what a dumbass I was.
Congratulations Mr Stein. You have
been in our town less than 24 hours
but you seem to have already hook
up with the most useless turd of a
human in the state. Tom Schiller.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
No need to get personal, Lucy. Kids
say you appointed this hippie as
some sort of guard dog. What do you
say in your defense? As a member of
the law enforcement community and a
father I demand an answer!
LUCY
Christ! Am I on trial? Guard dog?
That was not supposed to be taken
literally. But he's leaving right
away. He's had his fun. Are you OK
with that Mr. Dipshit Deputy?
DEPUTY SCHILLER
I don't want to discuss this
outside. Lucy, this man abducted
children, our children, and
abandoned them. This man is
dangerous, not only to you and the
kids, but to our community.
LUCY
Well, you're not coming in. Last
time I let you in I had to renovate
the living room.
(to Steve)
You can go in.
(MORE)
LUCY (CONT’D)
I'd like to have a serious word
with you. Tom.I will call you
later. OK?
Dept Schiller gives Steve the evil eye as only Steve's
allowed to enter. Tom still has feelings for Lucy. Lucy lets
Steve in and closes the door. Dept Schiller walks towards his
truck.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
17 -
A Difficult Goodbye
INT. LUCY'S LIVINGROOM - LATER
All kids laughing hysterically, jumping around impersonating
the gorillas in the zoo repeating Steve's band names.
THE KIDS
Turdmongers, Skinny Bitches, Dave
and the Mistakes, Dirk Vomit and
the Tastebuds, The Mighty
Leprechauns, Crack Mannilow, Little
Miss Brittle, Spetznaz Sisters,
Lucy looks at her kids adoringly.
LUCY
(to Steve)
I bet I know who’s going to sleep
like babies tonight.
She shoves Steve into an adjoining room.
LUCY (CONT’D)
(to Steve)
We need to have a little family
powwow.Wait In here.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Hey kids! Attention! I have
something important to say.
THE KIDS
What? What?
Steve's in what appears to be Lucy's bedroom. Blinds drawn.
The unmade bed. Dusky. On a chest of drawers there are some
photos.
LUCY
You have to say goodbye to Mr
Stein. Your puppy-dog.
THE KIDS
Oh no. He's so funny.
Steve feels an urge to examine the photos. Lucy and Tom's
prom photo. Lucy and Tom's wedding. Both these photos are
crumpled on Tom's side. Weird. Another photo.A happy 12 year
old Lucy being hugged by...Elvis. Dedication: To Sparky from
The King. With love. Steve's impressed.
LUCY
He was supposed to take you to
school. You went to the zoo.
MERLE
Mom, we lied. We lied to Steve and
told him we had a field trip at the
zoo today and that you knew about
it.
LUCY
Anyway.Puppy-dog needs to go.Sorry.
Suddenly Shani's sobbing.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Hey! What's wrong?
Embrace.
SHANI
I don't want him to go. He's the
best puppy-dog we ever had.
LUCY
But we’ve never had a puppy-dog.
You're allergic to pets.
SHANI
That's what I mean. I am not
allergic to Stein. I want him to
staaaaaay!
(now bawling)
LUCY
But Shani baby, he's not even a
real puppy-dog. He's a grown man.
Not only that. He's not very nice.
He has to go!
Lucy looks around. Now all kids sobbing.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Ok. Let's have a vote. All in favor
of keeping the puppy-dog around for
a couple more days raise your hand?
(all kids hands are up)
Lucy sighs.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Ok. Puppy-dog stays. But only for a
couple more days.
THE KIDS
Yeayyyy!
Happy kiddies. Lucy reopens the bedroom door.
LUCY
You can come out now, you pervo.
Lucy notices the grease stains on Steve's pants.
LUCY (CONT’D)
We need to do something to those
stains. What will people think?
STEVE
(deadpan)
It's Stein. Not stains.
Lucy smiles reluctantly. Puppy has a sense of humor.
LUCY
(to Steve)
I checked your Cherokee and we can
still salvage it. I can pull you
out later before my shift. Another
night and you'll have snakes
nesting under your seat.
STEVE
Thanks. Much obliged.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
18 -
Swamp Shenanigans
EXT. CHEROKEE/SWAMP SLOPE - EVENING
Lucy has towed Steve's Cherokee out of the swamp. Steve's
standing idle. Useless at practical things.
LUCY
Beats me how you managed to gel
with the kids. Especially after
having insulted them and their
music. Normally they're a bit shy
and reserved.
Lucy opens the doors cautiously. Then starts beating the hood
ferociously with her flashlight.
STEVE
Hey, watch it. That's my only
asset.
LUCY
The snakes slither up under the
hood when it’s cold outside.
Instantly a couple of snakes slither out from the car.
LUCY (CONT’D)
You don't want to drive around with
a big snake in your pants?
Steve now notices Lucy's truck has a dented hood.
Lucy examines the Cherokee driver's seat.
LUCY (CONT’D)
I think it's clear. Get in. I’ll
tow you to nearest gas station.
STEVE
Well, that won't do me any good.
I’m out of money. Stolen corn
dogs,etc.
Lucy scrutinizes Steve.
LUCY
I see.
Lucy takes out a handful of dollars and hands them over.
LUCY (CONT’D)
This’ll keep you afloat for a
couple of days.
STEVE
Sorry, I can't accept handouts.
LUCY
Call it a loan. We’ll just have to
find you a job and you’ll pay me
back.
Steve accepts.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Now get in.
Steve reluctantly sits in. Lucy towards her truck. Hollers...
LUCY (CONT’D)
You know what to do if a snake
crawls up your pants?
STEVE
No. Not really.
LUCY
Just sit still. It will eventually
crawl out by itself. After a couple
of days. When it's hungry.
(she laughs at this
image)
By the way. Do you have any
vocational skills?
STEVE
No. Not really. I play music.I
produce music.That’s about it.
LUCY
Right, turning turds into gold.
What a guy. What a guy.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
19 -
Job Jitters and New Opportunities
EXT. SWAMP-SLOPE/DIRT ROAD - CONTINUOUS
Lucy's truck tows the Cherokee up from the dirt road. Far in
a distance another truck follows. No headlights on.
I/E. CHEROKEE/DIRT ROAD - CONTINUOUS
Steve sees the dark truck in the rear view mirror.
I/E. WALMART - DAY
Montage: Wide angle camera at high angle view next to
loudspeaker.
Ossified Steve - in Walmart gear by the cash registers -
staring at loudspeaker transmitting inane muzak. He lets all
items pass without scanning them. Customers riled over his
laxness.
Ossified Steve, now transferred to the changing room area,
still transfixed by the loudspeaker. Customers obviously
taking advantage of his lack of attention walking out with
multiple layers of garments on.
Ossified Steve mechanically mopping the floor gazing at the
loudspeaker in the aisle. The SUPERVISOR checks on Steve.
Apparently not happy with Steve's effort.
Steve gesturing the insurmountable task of working while
exposed to such low quality music. Supervisor trying to
explain Steve's not supposed to listen to the music. He's
there to work. (miming)
Steve entering the control booth. Shoving the announcer away
from the microphone. Picking up his cellphone, testing the
mike. Attaching his cellphone to the mike and pushing the
button. Suddenly rock music roaring out via the public
speaker system. Steve seems happy. But the Supervisor enters,
pulls the configuration apart. End of employment.
Steve outside Walmart in his regular outfit. Pans around for
a while. Then enters the store adjacent.
Steve inside, walks in small circles. Listens. Stops and
shakes his head. Exits.
Lucy in her truck watching this from some distance.
LUCY
What a guy. What a guy.
I/E. DINER BOOTH - LATER
Lucy and Steve sitting opposite.
LUCY
So how's it going?
STEVE
Not bad. Not bad.
LUCY
How can you say that? You haven't
been able to keep any job for more
than a couple of hours. Let alone
earn any money. You said your plan
was to be out of here in a couple
of days.
STEVE
Trying to think positive.
LUCY
Think positive? You're delusional.
STEVE
Is that wrong? That's how you
create music.
LUCY
Anyways. I found this.
Lucy unfolds a page from a local newspaper. Classified ad:
Foreclosure MUSIC Studio.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Check this out.
Steve examines.
STEVE
But they want money.
LUCY
Perhaps they're willing to trade.
STEVE
Trade what?
LUCY
How about your wretched soul.
Anyways. I've arranged a meeting
with the guy. It's not far.
STEVE
When?
LUCY
In 10 minutes. Finish up.
Dept Schiller in the Police van watching them from a
distance. Lucy and Steve jumps into their trucks.Drive off.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Can't understand what she sees in
him. I am more man thanhe is! I'm
sure he´s molesting my kids!
ALPHONSE
Calm down, Tom. Calm down...
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
20 -
A Deal in the Dust
INT. THE STUDIO - LATER
Lucy and Steve wander around the dusty and filthy
studio.Fiddling with some papers is MR BANE a 60’s -
something once angelic glam rock-relic.
LUCY
This is Mr Bane the distrainer
STEVE
All this seems a bit obsolete.
Nineties stuff.
Mr Bane a bit jumpy nervous. Looking out the curtains.
MR BANE
It's all in working order.
LUCY
Would you be interested in making a
trade?
MR BANE
No.Cash.Price is set.
STEVE
Could you turn the lights on,
please?
Mr Bane sneaks into the back room. Hits the circuit breaker.
He reappears. Content.
MR BANE
As I said. In working order.
Suddenly smoke billows forth from under the console. Mr Bane
quickly switches of the breaker.Now change of mood.
MR BANE (CONT’D)
You were willing to trade? Like
what?
LUCY
The Cherokee?
STEVE
Good good. A car.
MR BANE
Is there gas in it?
Mr Bane has a wrinkly contract. Prompt handshake. Instant
signature.
I/E. AROUND PARIS - LATER
Montage: Lucy handing out flyers "Turn turds into gold. World
renowned music producer can turn anything into a hit".
The degenerated banjo guy from Deliverance has finally
married his cousin and now has a banjo playing family on the
porch.
A group of black guys being frisked by cops. All politely
receives flyers from Lucy.
A bluegrassband in a barn gets flyers.
Lucy among a group of Hare Krishnas.
Black blind choir gets flyers. Lucy throws in some bottles of
Black Beggar too.
Lucy running after a college marching band parading up a
football pitch.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
21 -
Cultural Clash at Sunbeam Studio
INT. SUNBEAM STUDIO - LATER
Deputy SCHILLER and ALPHONSE aimlessly prodding gear with
their hickory truncheons.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
What kind of business do you plan
to run here?
STEVE
Music.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
What kind of music? Depraved devil-
music to seduce the youth?
STEVE
Any kind of music. As long as it's
good.Seems there is a lot of talent
around here but it s all
conserved/marinated. Sounds the
same.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
We love our music here. Don’t try
to change it you pervert.
STEVE
I just feel I could add some
influence from outside; metal, rap
you name it.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Metal is the devils music, right
Al?
Al nods.
DEPUTY SCHILLER (CONT’D)
What’s rap?
STEVE
Black music, sampling, backbeat,
heavy on the lyrics, lots of anger.
(MORE)
STEVE (CONT’D)
No need to be musical. Could suit
you.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Don’t get smart with me,
turdmonger. You don’t know me.
Al suddenly interested.
ALPHONSE
He’s right. Rap’s cool. You could
be cool. For once.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Are you siding with this hippie?
ALPHONSE
No. No. But he’s right about rap.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
How would you know?
ALPHONSE
Cause I’m…black?
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Don’t you worry. I’ll be back. You
better get those permits then.
STEVE
Where do I get them?
DEPUTY SCHILLER
(Triumphant.)
From me.
They exit. But Steve now has a friend in Al.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
22 -
Electric Encounters
INT. SUNBEAM STUDIO - EVENING
Steve folded double under the console, hand fumbling with a
fader, a scrunching sound. He dives in under the console
BANG! A massive noise from the loudspeakers. Steve's jerking,
electrocuted, smoke emitting from his hair. He pulls the
fader. No noise. He's content. Banging on the front door. He
gets up and opens. It's Lucy.
LUCY
Just wanted to say hi.
STEVE
Hi.
LUCY
How´re things going?
STEVE
Fine.
LUCY
Are you wearing a new deodorant or
is your hair on fire? Smells awful.
Steve brushing some ember out of his hair.
STEVE
Come on in.
She enters. Looks at all the mess.
LUCY
I won't be long. The kids wonder
where you are. They miss you.
STEVE
I work around the clock here,
easier to just stay over.
LUCY
OK. Anyhow.They'd like to see the
studio.
STEVE
They're welcome. Just need to fix a
few things...Tom stopped by.
LUCY
You don't say. Was it an
interesting conversation?
STEVE
Yeah, think he had a bit of
epiphany.
LUCY
Sounds dangerous. Beware.
STEVE
Come with me.I'll show you.
Lucy follows Steve for the front door.
EXT. OUTSIDE SUNBEAM STUDIO - CONTINUOUS
Loud bass thumping. Steve nods. Tom's car parked a bit off.
Tom's silhouetted against the streetlight. He's rocking back
and forth.
STEVE
He's been at it for hours. I don't
know if he´s surveilling me?
LUCY
In that case he's really discreet.
STEVE
Or if he's taking a crash course in
hip hop.
LUCY
Even more dangerous.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
23 -
Turning Turds into Gold
INT. SUNBEAM STUDIO - MOMENTS LATER
Steve's tidying up. Lucy's sauntering.
LUCY
I have spread the word.People seem
interested.
STEVE
What did you tell them?
LUCY
You can turn turds into gold.
STEVE
A lot of turds around here.
LUCY
Yea, you got your work cut out for
you, still. I’m certain you’ll put
your mark on our music.
STEVE
Hope so. It's sounded the same for
a hundred years now. Banjos. Blond
girls with fiddles. I can think of
Doombilly. Blackgrass. Country
Metal.Just exploreing the space.
LUCY
Cool, anyway, you’re running out of
options.
STEVE
I know. Thanks for the support and
effort.
LUCY
It's on the house. BTW I brought
you this.
She puts a bottle of Blind Beggar on the console.
STEVE
Much appreciated. Brings back
terrible memories.
LUCY
Well I need to go. Take care. At
least you're protected.
(Nods towards Tom.)
Tender moment. Lucy exits. Steve takes a swig from the
bottle. Tastes different this time. Steve exits the studio.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
24 -
Debt and Danger
EXT. OUTSIDE SUNBEAM STUDIO - CONTINUOUS
Steve watches as Tom pulls out, tailing Lucy.Steve picks up
his mobile.
CLOSE UP: Moe’s mobile:S**TSTAIN. Moe answers.Riding a
stationary bike.
STEVE
Hey Moe. Guess what! A new chapter
in my life.
MOE
You found a hickie on your
hemorroid?
STEVE
I now own a studio. In Tennessee.
Gonna make hits. Pay off debts.Get
rich.
MOE
Good luck with that!C**tbun! BTW
I've sold your debt to the cartel.
STEVE
To who?
MOE
The cartel, fuckface. Sombreros
Muertes.
STEVE
Who gave you that fucking idea?
MOE
You did. You moron!Oh, I’d watch my
ass from now on if I were you.
STEVE
They’ll never find me.
MOE
Of course not, putz. You’re right.
They’ll never in a million years
find you on the corner of Nerge
St/Steepridge in Paris, Tennessee.
They will knock on your door any
minute.
Steve looks up. Checks street signs. Moe's right. Steve
panics. Hangs up. Darts into the studio. Pulls the curtain.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
25 -
Audition Chaos
INT. THE STUDIO - NEXT MORNING
Steve wakes up tucked into a cozy corner in a fetal position.
Someone's banging on the front door. Steve panics. The
Cartel! he slither towards the emergency exit. Tries to open.
It's bolted. More pounding on the front door.Picks up his
mobile.
CLOSE UP: Moe’s mobile:S**TSTAIN. Moe answers. In bed with
sleep mask.
STEVE
Hey Moe!Moe, they're here!
MOE
Who?
STEVE
The Cartel.Sombreros Muertes.
MOE
Why do you think this?
STEVE
They're pounding on the door. You
told me they'd knock on my door any
minute.
MOE
I didn't mean that literally. I
doubt they'd knock at all. They're
not known to be polite.
STEVE
Who is it then?
MOE
How the fuck should I know!
Moe hangs up.
STEVE
(to himself)
He's right. Knock.They won’t knock.
They probably just slit my throat
immediately.
Steve peers through the curtains. A long line of people
carrying instruments. Steve calms down. Approaches the front
door. Pulls the blinds.
EXT. OUTSIDE SUNBEAM STUDIO - LATER
A plethora of wannabees has responded to Lucy's invitation.
Steve flummoxed.Everybody wants inside, Lucy´s truck pulls
up.
LUCY
Now look what you've done.
The kids hanging out the windows. Hollering. At a distance
Deputy Schiller’s patrol van follows.Stops. Tom and Alphonse
step out. Imposing.
Lucy and the kids drive off. Tom slightly taken aback.
STEVE
Alright! One at a time...
INT. SUNBEAM STUDIO - LATER
Crappy polka orchestra playing. Steve exhausted.
STEVE
This sounds fuckin' terrible. You
got a drummer somewhere?A bass
player.
They all shake their heads.
INT. SUNBEAM LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
Steve enters. Assorted crowd.
STEVE
Are there any drummers or bass
players here?
They all shake their heads.
EXT. OUTSIDE SUNBEAM STUDIO - CONTINUOUS
Many still waiting.Steve looks around.
STEVE
Any drummers or bass players out
here?
They all look around. Someone's pointing down the line.Two
overly pierced heavy metal guys wave awkwardly.Steve invites
them up.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Get yer gear.
They fetch a horrific axe-shaped bass, gigantic amp and a
full set of black metal drums.
INT. SUNBEAM STUDIO - LATER
Steve ecstatic.Polka and Heavy Metal rockin!
STEVE
Now we're talking.
Lucy enters. She likes what she sees.
Genres:
["Comedy","Music"]
Ratings
Scene
26 -
The Mysterious Meeting
INT. SUNBEAM LOBBY - HOURS LATER
Everybody's packing up. Lucy checks her watch.
LUCY
Hurry up.
STEVE
Why?
LUCY
Tom's eating dinner. Sacred time.
That leaves us 20 minutes to get
out of town.
I/E. LUCY'S TRUCK/PARIS STREETS - CONTINUOUS
STEVE
Whazz up?
LUCY
I want you to meet someone.
STEVE
Sounds ominous. Who?
LUCY
(chirpy)
You'll find out.
STEVE
Big Foot?
Lucy shakes her head.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Meet my Maker?God’s A hillbilly?
Lucy sighs.Steve suddenly recollects...
STEVE (CONT’D)
No Mexicans I hope. Do you know any
Mexicans.
LUCY
No. Why should I?
Truck veers onto an obscure dirt road.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
27 -
The Mysterious Cabin
EXT. THE VALLEY - EVENING
Truck halts in a bucolic valley.
LUCY
We’re here.
Exits. Steve bewildered. Lucy points towards a small cabin on
a hilltop. Lucy's pager buzzes.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Shucks. Gotta go.You're expected.
I'll come back later.
STEVE
You sure it's not a date with Big
Foot?
She drives off.
EXT. THE CABIN - CONTINUOUS
The Truck departs. Steve approaches the cabin.Knocks on the
door. No answer.Opens slowly...
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
28 -
Unexpected Encounters in the Cabin
INT. THE CABIN - CONTINUOUS
STEVE
Hello?
He paces cautiously through a rather cozy cabin.Suddenly
round a corner he bumps into an elderly man with greyish hair
and long braids (UNCLE VIZZ 87yrs). Both equally stunned.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Jeesus!
VIZZ
Holy moly!
STEVE
Willie Goddamn Nelson!?
VIZZ
Wish I was.
STEVE
Ooosh.I’m really startled.
VIZZ
Me too. Let's sit down.
Steve wide-eyed scrutinizes Vizz.
VIZZ (CONT’D)
I'm Uncle Vizz. At least that's
what the kids call me. I'm
christened Elvis Aaron Pres...
STEVE
No way.
VIZZ
You don't believe me?(that voice)
STEVE
(eyes even wider)
The King's been dead for over 50
years.And if, you've lost some
serious weight.
VIZZ
I get your point.
Vizz sighs. Ponders. Leaves for a minute. Steve glances one
eye over the paraphernalia in this room. Vizz returns with
the white Vegas jumpsuit. Holds it up - it's several sizes
too big - gyrates his hips. Grimaces. A bit stiff.
STEVE
Not really convincing.
VIZZ
Fair enough.
Vizz looks around.
VIZZ (CONT’D)
Fancy a drink?
Steve nods.
VIZZ (CONT’D)
Excuse me.But I never touch the
stuff since...Well, you know when.
But I'm more than happy to offer
you the house specialty.
Vizz opens a big armoire. It's full of bottles of Blind
Beggar Bourbon.
STEVE
So this is where she keeps them.
VIZZ
Yes, we distill it right here and
Lucy distributes it down in the
valley. It's a small but neat
little income.
Vizz pours Steve a glass.Chugs It down in a gulp.
VIZZ (CONT’D)
You like it?
STEVE
I've grown accustomed to it's
peculiar taste and lingering
afterburn.
VIZZ
(sits down in the rocking
chair).
Good. Now...Lucy says you're in the
music business?
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
29 -
Secrets and Surprises
EXT. THE VALLEY - HOURS LATER
Lucy exits the truck. Walks up to the cabin. Birds chirping.
Laughter from the cabin. This pleases her. Happy bunny.
Vizz and Steve are yucking it up.Lucy enters.
VIZZ
Sparky! Where you been?
LUCY
Round and about. Hate to be a
nuisance. Need to bring this
(Steve) back to civilization.
VIZZ
Yeah.Awright. It’s been a pleasure.
Please come back soon.
STEVE
Pleasure was entirely mine.
Vizz gets up to hug Steve. Steve freezes. There is no doubt.
This is The King. Lucy hugs Vizz.
VIZZ/LUCY
Love you.
Steve and Lucy leave.
I/E. LUCY'S TRUCK - NIGHT
Steve and Lucy driving silently through the balmy countryside
evening.
STEVE
So, you’re hiding the most famous
person in history next to Jesus in
a shack in the woods?
Lucy nods. Steve nods back. Silence.
STEVE (CONT’D)
40 years. Never detected? Never
left the reservation?
LUCY
40 years, correct, but there was
that one time he snuck back to
Graceland to get something.
Unscheduled tour-group almost
popped ‘em.
STEVE
You’re blowing my mind.
More silent driving in the cool night air.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Who’s idea was all this anyhow?
LUCY
Dodgers.
STEVE
Brooklyn or L.A?
LUCY
Haha. Dodger. Elvis gramma, smarty-
pants yankee.
STEVE
So, Elvis ol’ granny conceives,
plans and executes one of the
biggest clandestine body snatches
of all times?
LUCY (NODS, ADDS)
Cousins helped allot, too.
Silent driving.
STEVE
The cousins?
LUCY
Yea, they’re something. The
cousins, our own little guerrilla
network made up of relatives and
family descending down from Dodger
herself. Dodger passed in 1980 but
there’s kids and grand kids in this
line today continuing to support
Elvis and pledging to keep the
secret safe.
Silent driving.
STEVE
So, you’re a cousin.
Lucy nods.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Hank, Shani and Merle, too.
LUCY
They’re the new generation.
STEVE
Tom?
LUCY
Never. He couldn't keep a secret.
Steve in deep thought.
STEVE
Why steal Elvis? C’mon Lucy, You’re
killin’ me over here.
LUCY
You are persistent, let’s see,
Dodger didn’t like that Colonel,
she also knew Elvis didn’t either
and that he wanted out but he was
just too timid to jump ship. Nasty
Colonel had him by the balls, so,
when Elvis fell into a coma ol’
Dodger saw the perfect opportunity
to pull this disappearing act.
STEVE
How?
LUCY
A cousin working in the hospital
and Dodger swapped Elvis with a
dead fat guy, without kin, from
down in the morgue. Paperwork at
the hospital was juggled around or
misplaced, cousins with connections
at the coroners office and funeral
home made quick work of processing
this “new” Elvis and before you
could say That’s All Right Momma
the sealed casket was 6-feet under.
Cousins within local media spun the
story about Elvis passing that we
all know today.
STEVE
Fucking coup d ‘état.
LUCY
Something like that.
STEVE
Wow. Heavy.
LUCY
Aw, it ain’t all cloak and dagger.
We cousins love to pick n’ play,
almost as much as Elvis does, so we
do allot of that together, it’s
fun! Cousins even set it up in the
cabin so he could record music.
He’s truly happy now, like a pig in
a pen.
Steve processes all he’s just heard.
LUCY (CONT’D)
(pulls over, stops the
truck)
Steve? You must make me a promise
never to divulge what you’re
learned here this evening. You
pledge me now.
STEVE
Yea, alright.
LUCY
Never. Ever.
STEVE
Never. Ever.
LUCY
Cross yer heart and hope to die?
STEVE
Cross yer heart...and hope...
Lucy gives him a stern look. She serious.
LUCY
To die.
STEVE
To...die...
EXT. OUTSIDE SUNBEAM STUDIO - EARLY MORNING
Lucy drops Steve off. He walks up to the front door. Clocks
Tom Schiller's patrol car. Tom flashes the headlights:"I'm
watching you,punk." As Steve enters he notices a sombrero
hanging from the drain pipe. As Steve nudges the hat a skull
falls out. He ponders. Hands shaking. Picks up mobile. Dials.
CLOSE UP: Moe’s mobile: S**TSTAIN. Moe answers. By the poker
table.
STEVE
Hey Moe.Guess what...
MOE
I’m listening...
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
30 -
Awkward Rhythms and Family Tensions
INT. SUNBEAM STUDIO - DAY
A boring band plays. Steve fast asleep behind the console.
Saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth.A hard cymbal
crash awakens him.
BANDMEMBER A
Wakey, wakey.
STEVE
What?
BANDMEMBER B
You were asleep.
STEVE
I was not.
BANDMEMBER A
You were definitely asleep.
STEVE
No. I was in a Rick Rubin trance.
BANDMEMBER A
You were drooling.
STEVE
No. Those were my creative juices
flowing.
BANDMEMBER B
Well, you told us to play the song
over and over until you said stop.
That was 45 minutes ago.
STEVE
Well, no need to argue now.It's
been a long day so let's come back
tomorrow.
Steve gets up. The band starts picking up their gear. Lucy
enters.
LUCY
Hi, how're things going?
STEVE
We're making progress.
LUCY
Sounds fantastic.
(whispers to Steve)
Vizz wants to show you something.
STEVE
Right now?
Lucy checks her watch.
LUCY
A bit later. I'll wait.
Suddenly Tom and Al bursts through the door. Tom takes a hip-
hop stance in front of the console. He has rehearsed
something.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Now listen. You perv. Hit it, Al!
Alphonse starts beatboxing. Tom performing some odd moves out
of sync.
DEPUTY SCHILLER (CONT’D)
OHHHHHH BOOOO! BOO-YAA! Who dat
sexy police man? Who dat blue-eyed
rapper wit dem sexy raps for da
ladies? BOOOOOO! WORD! It dat DJ
Cop 2 Hot! 1-2-3-4!
1. Look at me / I ‘m DJ COP / 2 HOT
/ Word!
I’m breaking the beat / best rapper
in Paris ayyt!
I like having fun / I’m Caucasian /
that means I’m white.
My pants are tight / chicks think
I’m a medieval knight.
Break it down / word / ayyt
I got a gun / I’m a sexy rapping
police-“munn”!
Lucy and Steve stares bewildered at this phenomena. Tom
stops. Alphonse fades.The band gazes in bafflement.
DEPUTY SCHILLER (CONT’D)
What do you say, perv?
STEVE
It sounds terrible. Even worse to
watch.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Lucy? What do you think?
LUCY
What the hell is this? What have
you done to yourself? Why are you
humiliating yourself this way.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
(quite pleased)
Well. It can get better. Now we
only need to record it.
LUCY
What? Now?
(looks at her watch,then
Steve)
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Yes. Why not?
STEVE
Not really. Errrh.
Lucy composes herself.
LUCY
Tom. I really think you should stop
this nonsense. You have three kids
you haven't seen in weeks. How
about ordering some pizza and
spending the evening with them?
Tom suddenly ridden by guilt. This is his weak spot.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Where are they?
LUCY
Guess.
I/E. LUCY'S TRUCK - EVENING
Lucy's a bit frantic. Never seen her like this before.
LUCY
I'm running out of reasons to get
Tom out of my life. And now he's
literally in amongst us.Who came up
with this stupid rap idea? Was it
you?
STEVE
Could have been. Can't
remember.Could have been a mutual
thing.
LUCY
It's going to end in another
disaster. I can sense it. He won't
stop. Anyways. Uncle Vizz has
something to show you.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
31 -
Trust and Tension in the Cabin
INT. THE CABIN - LATER
Lucy waiting by the cabin door.
LUCY
I'll leave you two to talk.
UNCLE VIZZ
Drive safely. I love you.
LUCY
I'm a bit anxious about leaving the
kids with Tom. He's probably ate
all the pizza and is now fast
asleep. Love you too.
STEVE
Bye.
Lucy exits.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Why do you talk to me? Do you trust
me?
UNCLE VIZZ
No. But who’s gonna believe you?
You have every reason to try to
turn turd into money. You have no
credibility whatsoever. But I trust
Lucy. She seems to fancy you in a
weird way. God knows why.But she’s
had her fair share of hardships in
life too.
STEVE
I didn’t know that.
UNCLE VIZZ
She’s been taking care of me for
quite some time now. Cooking.
(MORE)
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
Helping. There’s a lot of Dodger in
her.
STEVE
Lucy said Dodger masterminded your
entire disappearing act. Truth in
that?
Vizz gets up. Opens the armoire. Picks up a bottle of Bliind
Beggar. Ponders. Grabs another bottle. King's Gold.
UNCLE VIZZ
You better try some of this.Our Top
shelf stuff. It's gonna be a long
night.
Vizz pours Steve a full glass.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
32 -
Reflections of a Life Unlived
EXT. THE VALLEY - LATER
Crickets galore. Loads of toads.Pastoral.
UNCLE VIZZ (OFF SCREEN)
I died - literally - I was dead.
Clinically dead. Declared dead. For
how long I do not know - but life
in me was strong. And the people
who really loved me pulled me back,
pulled me out, away…from the
colonel. Dodger was there… (minnie
mae) treated me.
I/E. FLASHBACK SEQUENCE - 1977
News footage from funeral.
(Voice over)
I got healthier. I got stronger.
Lost weight - as you may have
noticed. But when I was back in
some sort of shape - It was too
late to go back. You can’t change
the direction of the speeding
train. It was impossible. I was
more profitable to the colonel and
his crronies dead than alive.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
33 -
Rediscovering Music
INT. THE CABIN - LATER
UNCLE VIZZ
I was never interested in the
money. It was all about the music.
STEVE
And the girls?
UNCLE VIZZ
The girls…well…I was so shy.
Incredibly shy. As soon as I talked
to a pretty girl the press was
there. Speculating.
I stayed up here. Listened to the
radio. Recorded some songs. Never
ever felt I had to prove anything.
After a while I started just
driving around. Nobody noticed. Why
should they? I was dead.
Officially. But nowadays no one
listens to radio.
There were a few years when I
couldn’t listen to music. But then
something happened. I found my way
back through gospel. I suddenly
found joy in music again.
I even recorded this song…Radio
gaga. (Also 1984). Not my best
work. But I could relate to the
subject. Got it somewhere. Wanna
listen to it?
STEVE
Sure thing.
UNCLE VIZZ
Guess I got some 400 songs
recorded. Maybe more.
Vizz pulls out a suitcase from under the bed. Opens it. In
very neat order are hundreds of tapes stacked in pairs with
rubber bands. Steve leans in. Song titles in elegant
handwriting: Hallelujah, Hello, Come as you are, Wonderful
Tonight, Black Velvet, Nothing compares 2 U, Feels like the
First Time, The Sign, If it makes you Happy and many more.
Steve's impressed.Looks around the cabin.
STEVE
How does all this work?
UNCLE VIZZ
I'll show you.
Vizz gets up, exits the cabin. Steve follow suit.
Genres:
["Drama","Music"]
Ratings
Scene
34 -
Old Faithful: A Lesson in History
EXT. THE VALLEY - CONTINUOUS
Vizz brings Steve down the slope towards a shed.Opens the
door.Lights an old kerosene lamp hanging on a beam revealing
an exotic piece of mechanical engineering. Dark grey. A sign:
U.S. NAVY, some odd numbers.
UNCLE VIZZ
This is Old Faithful. A US Navy
world war two diesel generator. It
survived Iwo Jima.
(Vizz points at some
holes)
Japanese Zero fighter. Works like a
charm.
Vizz yanks a pull chord to start the device. A mellow humming
as it warms up. Vizz checks the gauges.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
She makes a hell of a racket but
when she’s warmed up she hums in a
perfect A flat.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
35 -
A Reverent Listening Experience
INT. THE CABIN - CONTINUOUS
Vizz walks up to a bench next to the armoire covered with a
table cloth. Steve follows his movements with wonderment.
UNCLE VIZZ
These are the two recorders we used
at Sun studios back in the day.
(Vizz pulls the table
cloth)
Ampex 350s.
(Steve marvels this is
the Holy Grails of
recording)
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
And this is what makes everything
work together in harmony.
He pulls out a strange looking navy grey box.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
...a US NAVY anti aircraft unit
that syncs the two recorders.So?
What do you want to hear?
STEVE
You pick.
Vizz threads the two recorders with some tapes. Everything
lights up and the box locks up. Vizz grabs a pair of
headphones.
UNCLE VIZZ
Unfortunately I have no speakers
you’ll have to do with these.
Steve sits down. Adjusts the headphones. And waits. This is a
sacred moment. He listens reverentially.His head swaying to
the music. Steve lifts the can a bit. A bit of music seeps
out.
STEVE
This is Hallelujah. (Release year
and other nerdy info)
Vizz nods. As the singing begins Steve is unable to hold back
his tears. This is the most amazing piece of music he's ever
heard. So delicate, so angelic, so harmonious and well
balanced. A masterpiece in it's simplicity. Steve's laughing
and crying at the same time.This is divine music. And Elvis's
voice is better than ever. Singing harmony to simple guitar
chords. Vizz looks a bit worried. Steve closes his eyes and
is carried away by the lovely music.
The music fades. Steve lifts the cans. Tears rolling down his
cheeks. Vizz is already up swapping tapes.
UNCLE VIZZ
Was it that bad?
STEVE
No. I am speechless. This was by
far the most beautiful music I've
ever heard. So tender, so mellow,
so...
Vizz is done swapping.
UNCLE VIZZ
Tender I know. Pleased you
appreciate it. Now this is slightly
different. "Hello from the other
side". I can relate to this.
Steve smiles.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
Adele. I just adore her. What an
artist.
Vizz hits the button and the unit syncs up. Steve adjusts the
headphones. Music seeps out for a few bars.
Steve shuts his eyes. Blow away by the beauty of this
interpretation. Again tears rolls down his face.
Genres:
["Music","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
36 -
Emotional Revelations and Roadside Panic
EXT. THE VALLEY - LATER
Lucy exits the truck. Walks up to the cabin. Stops. It’s
awfully quiet. All silent. She walks faster.Worried.
INT. THE CABIN - CONTINUOUS
Lucy enters. Steve's in a meditative state all puffy eyed
swaying from side to side. Vizz in his chair. Looking at
Lucy. Shrugging his shoulders: who is this guy?
UNCLE VIZZ
What a softie. He's been blubbering
now for hours. You better take him
home.
Steve undoes the cans.
STEVE
I never thought "Come as you are"
could sound so beautiful. It's a
whole new dimension to Nirvana.
UNCLE VIZZ
Well, there's plenty to choose
from.
STEVE
This was truly exceptional. Thank
you so much.
LUCY
C’mon crybaby. Time to go home.
STEVE
Yeah, time flies.
Steve gets up. Vizz sits in the chair, too tired to get up.
Steve shakes his hand. Lucy kisses Vizz's cheeks.
LUCY
Bye, I love you.
Vizz nods.
Lucy and Steve exit.
I/E. LUCY'S TRUCK - LATER
Steve quiet. Lucy throws glances at him.So...
STEVE
This has been the most epic musical
moment in my life. I feel like I am
newborn or reborn. Rebooted.
I want to thank you for letting me
experience this.
He looks into her eyes.At least tries.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Heartfelt. I have never said this
to anyone before. Thank you. Thank
you.
Angelic smile from Lucy. She puts her hand onto Steve's. He
takes it and kisses it.
Suddenly panic in Lucys eyes. She almost hits a raccoon
crossing the road. The truck swerves from side to side.
LUCY
Jeeeesus.
Back on track. They both calm down.
Genres:
["Drama","Music"]
Ratings
Scene
37 -
The Mysterious Sombrero
EXT. OUTSIDE SUNBEAM STUDIO - NIGHT
Lucy drops off Steve. Steve walks a few paces. Takes out his
mobile.
CLOSE UP: Moe’s mobile:S**TSTAIN. Moe answers. In the sauna.
STEVE
Hi Moe. What would you say if I
told you I spent the night
listening to the most amazing music
ever. King’s gold…
MOE
What?
STEVE
THE…KING’S…GOLD.Elvis is alive and
kicking and has been recording
songs. From 1977 till now.
MOE
You're insane. He's been dead for
50 odd years.
STEVE
I know you don't believe me. But
I've heard it all.Hallelujah,
Adele, Nirvana you name it. And it
sounds amazing! Amazing!
MOE
Nobody believes you! Stop pestering
me with your rants.
STEVE
What if I brought you some tapes?
MOE
Yeah. Bring me some proof.
Hangs up. Steve stares at the phone. Enters the studio.
INT. SUNBEAM LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
Steve switches on the main circuit. Studio lights up. Steve
freezes. In the middle of the room, hanging from the ceiling.
A sombrero. Dangling underneath. A skull. Steve picks up his
phone.
CLOSE UP: Moe’s mobile:S**TSTAIN. Moe cancels the call.
STEVE
Hey Moe! Moe!
(no reply)
Moe. For fuck's sake!
Steve looks at the phone. Walks up to the sombrero. Looks
around. How the fuck did they get in?
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
38 -
A Slope of Gratitude
EXT. THE VALLEY - AFTERNOON
The kids bailing out of Lucy's truck. Steve at the wheel
awaits Lucy's Ranger RAM. Approaches. Lucy's window down.
Lucy's overjoyed.
LUCY
Thank you so much for taking care
of the kids. I so appreciate it.
You can't believe it. It's such a
weight off my shoulders.
STEVE
Pleasure entirely mine. There was
pancake batter all over the kitchen
but I think we cleared it all up.
She steps out. They walk down the slope.
LUCY
No worries. I'll fix it later. I
want to apologize for the other
day.
STEVE
Can't remember. The other day?
LUCY
About Tom. Rapping being a stupid
idea.
STEVE
No worries.
LUCY
I'm truly sorry. I lost it. Sorry.
STEVE
OK. By the way, where is he?
LUCY
No one knows. Haven't seen him. But
this is what he does. Disappears.
Infuriating. But for now. Perfect.
Angelic smile on her.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
39 -
Melodies and Secrets
INT. THE CABIN - LATER
Turmoil. Shani gets up in Vizz's lap.Hank rummaging in Vizz's
bedroom.
HANK
Can I use your guitar, Uncle Vizz?
UNCLE VIZZ
Sure. You know where to find it.
Easy, easy, bobcats.
Lucy and Steve enters. Lucy kisses Vizz.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
Sparky.The light of my life.
LUCY
I brought you some possum stew.
UNCLE VIZZ
Possum stew. My favourite.
Steve frowns. Sounds disgusting. Guitar strumming from the
bedroom. Lucy enters the kitchen.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
Bobcats! Do you want some delicious
possum stew?
SHANI
No. We're already eaten. Puppy-dog
made us pancakes.
UNCLE VIZZ
Puppy-dog?
BOBCATS
(in unison)
Him!
All pointing at Steve.
SHANI
He's our pet now. But only for some
time. Then we'll have to release
him. I'll miss him.
Shani fake cries. Hugs Vizz even harder.Sulks. Vizz gives
Steve the look. Steve shrugs.
UNCLE VIZZ
Puppy-dog. That's a nice name.
Hank enters with a huge Gibson LG2.Sits down in front of Vizz
and strums. Vizz instantly recognises the chord order.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
There should be a D7 in between the
C and G.
Hank starts singing. Loud and clear.
HANK
Treat me like a fool, treat me mean
and cruel,but love me.
They all join in harmony. This as a song they've sung a
million times.Lucy joins from the kitchen.
TUTTI
Break my faithful heart, tear it
all apart, but love me.
If you ever go, darling, i'll be,
oh, so lonely.
(MORE)
TUTTI (CONT’D)
I'll be sad and blue, crying over
you, dear, only.
(in this)
UNCLE VIZZ
Guess what, puppy-dog. We should
make a recording together.
Steve confused.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
Not now.But soon. Think of a song
and we record it. Nothing
fancy.Puppy-dog.
(he likes Steve's
nickname)
STEVE
Sure.
Steve gets up.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Is it OK if I check the equipment?
UNCLE VIZZ
Sure.There's a magic box on the
floor next to it.
Steve walks up to the Ampex 350 recorders. Pulls the
tablecloth. He examines the Navy sync box. Very simple. There
are two tape reels left on the tape machines, marked "Come as
you are". Steve stares at the two reels. Mesmerized. Looks
over his shoulder, puts the reels in his jacket pocket. Looks
over his shoulder again. Draws the tablecloth.
STEVE
That's some serious equipment
there.
UNCLE VIZZ
Indeedy-doody. It's been well
maintained.
Steve looks up.Sees Lucy in the kitchen doorway.How long has
she been standing there?
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
So, Puppy-dog,have you come up with
a song?
STEVE
I got a few in mind but I like to
give it a bit more thought.
Lucy's being enigmatic.Merle,somewhat OCD,starts tidying up
the cabin.
Lucy stern gaze. Approaches Steve.
STEVE (CONT’D)
I was actually thinking of "Love
letters in the sand"
UNCLE VIZZ
Hey, Pat Boone, now that's
something different. Haven't heard
it in years. Could be a
challenge.But I always felt I could
do that one way better than that
little pansy ever could. Two or
three part harmonies?
STEVE
No. Just you.
I/E. THE VALLEY - LATER
Lucy's truck full of tired bobcats. Lame waving. Lucy stands
outside. Waving. Steve drives off.
STEVE
Hey bobcats. Do you remember we
were talking about something awhile
back?
Sleepy kids.
STEVE (CONT’D)
You may not remember but I do. I
said that you should not listen to
Uncle Vizz. Well, I was wrong. I
didn’t know who Uncle Vizz was and
I didn't know that you loved him so
much and how much he meant to you.
Now I know better. I also said that
you shouldn't listen to me. Because
I say dumb things sometimes.
Silence.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Got it?
Silence.
STEVE (CONT’D)
I mean, do you understand? Anybody
listening?
HANK
You just told us not to listen to
you.
Steve gets the logic.
STEVE
Yes.No. Don't listen. You can
listen when I say don't listen but
when I say...whatever.
Awkward silence.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Can I ask you a question?
Silence.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Listening’s allowed.
Silence.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Have you ever heard of a singer
called Elvis? He was the greatest
singer in the world back in the
olden day. Ever heard of him?
Anybody?
Bobcats fast asleep.
Genres:
["Drama","Musical","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
40 -
Bedtime Secrets
EXT. LUCYS HOME - LATER
Steve lets the sleepy bobcats into the house.
SHANI
Bedtime hug.
Steve hugs all. Last one is Hank. Steve leans over.
HANK
What's that?
STEVE
What's what?
HANK
There's something in your pocket.
STEVE
Is there?
Hank starts fiddling.
HANK
Are these Uncle Vizz's tapes?
STEVE
Errrmh. They’re from the studio.
HANK
They look like Uncle Vizz's tapes.
STEVE
That might be the case but, like I
said, they're from the studio.
Hank looks probingly.
HANK
You said we shouldn't listen to
you.
STEVE
Yes, you're right.
Hank turns around. Walks into house.
HANK
Good night.
STEVE
Good night.
Steve looks at the tapes. Puts the car keys on the front
wheel. Starts walking.
Genres:
["Drama","Musical"]
Ratings
Scene
41 -
Pursued in the Shadows
EXT. AROUND PARIS - NIGHT
Lush vegetation. Streetlights. Crickets. Steve in and out of
darkness. A car liberates itself from the shadows. Follows
Steve slowly at a distance. No headlights. This is not Tom.
Steve oblivious.
EXT. OUTSIDE SUNBEAM STUDIO - MOMENTS LATER
Steve's by the studio door. On the inside of the glass a
press clipping from a newspaper:"Family of five mutilated by
cartel". Steve panics. Gets in.
INT. SUNBEAM LOBBY/OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Steve on the mobile. Tom's answering service.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
(o.s)
Hi, you have reached Deputy Tom
Schiller's answering service. I can
not take your call at the moment
but please leave name and number
and I will get back to you as soon
as possible. If by any chance (goes
on forever)...
STEVE
(impatient and terrified)
Hi, this is Steve at the studio. I
think it's time to start recording.
As soon as possible. I can do
evenings too. And nights. And bring
along some of your cop buddies too.
The more the merrier.
Steve hangs up. Looks at the press clipping. Shrugs.
Crumples. Takes out the tapes out. Is there anywhere he can
hide them? Puts them back in pocket.
Genres:
["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
42 -
Rapping, Seduction, and a Sleepy Resolution
INT. SUNBEAM LOBBY/OFFICE - AFTERNOON
Close up Tom's face.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
3. (Light Jamaican flair) A-HA A-HA-
A-HA WOOORD! Hey girl! You like me
bod’? You think me hod? Me
Cop2Hot, da rappin’ god. Make-a you
scream. Make-a you dance. Me got da
boom-boom down in my pants. Shake
dat snatch. Itch mah scratch. I da
king of rhymes and dat sexy times.
How's that?
STEVE
It's getting better. But I think
you should try to make it even
more...distinct?
DEPUTY SCHILLER
I'm really cooking here.Yeah, I'mma
cookin'.
STEVE
I'm just going to sample some
beats.
Tom parks himself in the office couch.Lucy storms in.
LUCY
Hey, what's happening?
Lucy surprised to see Steve in recording mode. Then she hears
Tom bellowing from the office.Tom keeps rapping in the
background.
LUCY (CONT’D)
What's this? What's he doing here?
We're supposed to be recording Vizz
tonight. Or you're supposed to
recording Vizz tonite.
STEVE
I know but Tom thought it was a
good opportunity to work tonight.
LUCY
So he's setting the agenda now?
Jeeessuss! Steve, we're already
late.
Lucy paces back and forth.
STEVE
There is no way I can call this
off.Unless there is an alarm.
Lucy sighs.
LUCY
We can't call in a false alarm.Or
sedate him.
Unless.
STEVE
Sedate Tom?
LUCY
Or rather seduce.Where's the
bathroom?
Steve points.
STEVE
Behind the green curtain. To the
left.
Steve's confused.Lucy disappears.Steve finds the crumpled
press clipping. Unwraps it. Menacing.Shrugs.
Lucy reappears. Slightly more made up.Definitely more sultry.
LUCY
Pray for me.
Lucy enters the office space. Tom sees her. Stops the rapping
instantaneously. Lucy sits down next to Tom. Very close.
LUCY (CONT’D)
I didn't know you were a such a
rapper.
Lucy devours Tom. Steve watches this transformation as
hypnotized. Lucy gives Steve a glance. Gets up and shuts the
office door.Steve's baffled.
There is a silence.Then Tom starts breathing heavily. Turns
into panting.This increases in volume and intensity as Tom is
en route towards climax.
This is getting unbearable for Steve. He starts rummaging
among the paraphernalia on the shelves. Finds a pair of cans.
Puts them over his ears. He can still hear Tom. Now
screaming. Steve connects the can plug to the console. Turns
all the knobs.
The bellowing ends. Silence.
Lucy appears. Her hair in disarray. Lipstick smeared.
LUCY (CONT’D)
OK. Let's go.
Steve's perplexed. Still with cans on.Lucy rearranges
herself.Looks at Steve.
LUCY (CONT’D)
C’mon, Ihave three kids with the
guy. But as I said. I'm running out
of tricks.
Lucy exits. Steve checks what happened to Tom. All his outfit
spread out on the floor. Tom in his underwear, pants around
ankles, fast asleep with contented smile.Snoring.
Steve exits the studio. Locks.
I/E. LUCYS TRUCK - LATER
Lucy concentrated keeping her eyes on the road. Suddenly she
lets off a humongous burp.
LUCY
Sincere apologies.
Steve can't believe what he just witnessed.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Seriously...sorry.
Lucy giggles.
LUCY (CONT’D)
You're shocked? The great Steve
Stine is shocked!
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
43 -
Crisis and Confrontation
INT. THE CABIN - LATER
All is rigged for recording. Vizz on a stool in the middle of
the room. Lucy Putting the mikes on the stands. Steve
threading the tapes. Vizz (with glasses) going through some
notes. Strums the chord changes on the guitar. Clears his
throat.
UNCLE VIZZ
Sparky darling, could you just
bring me a glass of water.
LUCY
Sure thing.
Lucy goes to the kitchen. Steve fiddling with the sync
cables. Throws a glance over his shoulder. Sees Lucy by the
sink. Did she see him nick the tapes? Lucy reenters.Places
the glass on a small table in front of Vizz.
STEVE
In what order do I press these
(buttons)?
LUCY
First record and then the sync
unit. Then you hear the unit lock
up. So you need slightly more slack
on the tapes.
Lucy fixes. Vizz coughs a few times. Then a few more coughs.
He sips some water.
Steve puts some slack on the tapes.
LUCY (CONT’D)
No you're doing it wrong. Slack the
tapes after the unit has locked up.
Suddenly Vizz starts coughing badly. He's almost choking.
Lucy rushes forward. Vizz has trouble breathing. Steve
perplexed as always. Lucy leads Vizz to the bedroom.Lays him
down.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Get the water.
Steve brings the glass. Vizz's windpipes wheezing. Finally
he's getting some air. Drinks some water.
UNCLE VIZZ
(faint)
Sparky, can you check my pulse,
please.
Lucy checks his pulse with concern.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
I feel a bit better. Let me just
rest for a bit. We can then
continue...
LUCY
No.Session’s over. You have to
rest. I'm getting someone up here
to check you.
UNCLE VIZZ
Cousin Chad or Danny?
LUCY
Who’s ever is available. You need
to rest.
Lucy looks at Steve. Stonefaced.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Are the tapes still rolling?
STEVE
Sorry.
Steve pushes stop.
I/E. LUCY'S TRUCK/DIRT ROAD - LATER
Lucy drives aggressively, missing no potholes or bumps.
STEVE
Take it easy please?
Lucy angrily accelerates.
STEVE (CONT’D)
What the fuck is your problem?
LUCY
Did Uncle Vizzy give you those
tapes?
STEVE
What tapes?
Lucy slams on the brakes.
LUCY
The tapes. Did he give them to you?
STEVE
Eh...
LUCY
You piece of shit.
Lucy jerks the truck into gear.
STEVE
I wasn’t going to steal them or
anything.
LUCY
Give them to me.
STEVE
They're in the studio.
LUCY
C'mon.
She knows he's lying. Steve hands over the tapes.
STEVE
It’s not like you think.
Lucy furious.
I/E. LUCY'S TRUCK/PARIS STREETS - LATER
Passing city limit. Flashing red/blue lights. Sirens
hollering.
The truck is overtaken by County Patrol Interceptor. Then a
fire engine. Another patrol unit speeding by. Lucy
accelerates.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
44 -
Flames and Farce
EXT. OUTSIDE SUNBEAM STUDIO - CONTINUOUS
The studio is on fire. Several fire engines and patrol units
have arrived.Firefighters running pell-mell hosing water.
Police officers cordoning off the area. Lucy and Steve
dismount. Lucy finds Alphonse.
LUCY
Al! Tom with you?
ALPHONSE
Thought he was with you?
LUCY
No. Last time I saw him he was
inside.
ALPHONSE
Inside there?
They run up to what seems to be the superior.
LUCY/STEVE
There's a man sleeping inside!
TOP BRASS
What? Who?
Steve and Lucy shares looks.
LUCY/STEVE
You go first, No, you first.
LUCY
My husband or he's not my husband
anymore. We're divorced. He's
inside. On the office couch. Where
I left him.
Message cuts through.
TOP BRASS
There's a man inside. Man inside!
This is repeated down the line.
TOP BRASS (CONT’D)
And who are you?
STEVE
I'm the proprietor.
TOP BRASS
Is there anything of value inside?
STEVE
Not really.
TOP BRASS
Apart from her husband? Anything
flammable? Toxic? Gases?
STEVE
Apart from her husband. No.
Suddenly a roar. Like some Marvel Monster, Tom,only in his
underwear, staggers through the flames howling.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
I am invincible! I am hot!
Spontaneous combustion! I am
cooking, cooking, cooking. I'm on
fire!
All firefighters concentrate their hoses on Tom. Tom stumbles
around all revved up.
Everybody's enchanted by this sight. Alphonse joins in.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
45 -
Aftermath of Chaos
EXT. OUTSIDE SUNBEAM STUDIO - MOMENTS LATER
High on adrenaline Tom lurches in circles like a MMA
champion. Someone puts a blanket over his shoulders. Lucy's
gently trying to lead him to her truck. Alphonse is bringing
Toms smouldering outfit.
ALPHONSE
You think you’ll need this?
LUCY
No. I'm just taking him home. Why
don’t you follow me in case he has
a fit or something?
ALPHONSE
Of course, madam.
LUCY
(to Steve)
I'm taking Tom home. You gonna be
OK?
Steve nods. Lucy and Alphonse manages to get Tom into her
truck. Tom's still bellowing.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Spontaneous combustion.I'm on
fire...
They leave. Steve on his mobile. Calls Moe.No response.
Answering service.
STEVE
Hey Moe. Somebody set the studio on
fire tonight.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
46 -
Urgent Visit and Family Tensions
INT. SUNBEAM LOBBY/OFFICE - THE NEXT DAY
Steve checking the damage. Scorched sooty walls. Pools of
water. Torn bits of metal. Pieces of ripped lining in piles
on the floor.
A knock on the door.
LUCY
Hi, just came to tell you. Vizz is
not well. Not well at all. As much
as I hate to say it. He wants to
see you. You ready? I got the kids
in the truck.
STEVE
Guess if the man says go you gotta
go.
LUCY
It's up to you. It's now or never.
Steve joins Lucy. They exit.
I/E. LUCY'S TRUCK - MOMENTS LATER
Sombre atmosphere.
STEVE
BTW, how's Tom.
LUCY
Invincible. He was up all night.
Rapping. I think we got us a
nutcase here.Tom’s convinced he
caused the fire.Keeps singing I'm
the firestarter.
From the backseat.
MERLE
Dad's bonkers.
HANK
He's funny.
SHANI
He's scary.
LUCY
But let's cross that bridge when we
get to it.
Silence.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
47 -
Conversations of Regret
EXT. OUTSIDE THE CABIN - LATER
Steve paces back and forth. Lucy exits the cabin.
LUCY
He wants to talk to you.
Steve nods. Enters.
INT. VIZZ'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Vizz looks frail in the bed. Blanket on top. A glass of
water.
UNCLE VIZZ
Glad you could come. Listen...we
haven't known each other for very
long but I like you. Well, I
haven't met many people these last
years. But I trust Lucy's
judgement...
Vizz gestures.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
Shut the door please.
Steve shuts the door.Sits. Vizz wants him closer.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
How you and Lucy getting along?
STEVE
Fine.
UNCLE VIZZ
Fine?
STEVE
Yea wonderful.
Vizz leans in to Steve.
UNCLE VIZZ
Don’t lie to The King.
STEVE (AGITATION)
Awright she’s raggin’ about
something and I dunno what. I never
know what. What IS what anyhow?
Woman are mine-fields.
UNCLE VIZZ
Never understood ‘em.Don’t matter
who you are. Once a woman breaks
your skin and senses blood,.
Ol’ Pat Boone always said a woman
is like a crossword puzzle.
Confusing, arbitrary, sometimes
impossible to understand but man,
once you finally solve it,.
STEVE
I heard Pat Boone was quite the
cockmaster.
UNCLE VIZZ
Oh yea. Woman loved him, and he
loved them which was confusing
seeing as I’m pretty certain he was
light in the loafers.
Pity we're not doing "Love letters
in the sand".
STEVE
We will. You'll bounce back.
UNCLE VIZZ
No. This is it. I've been here
before.
Steve about to reply. Vizz objects.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
Do what you want. The tapes are
yours. I can’t imagine what would
happen if you decided to release
them. Might be problems with song
rights.
(MORE)
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
I had enough of such shit, pardon
my french. Perhaps people will say
it’s all just fake. No one seems
to be interested in analog these
days. Mind you this is mono.
Steve's speechless.
UNCLE VIZZ (CONT’D)
Guess what's been on my mind
lately. Or...it's always on my
mind.
(clears throat)
I really felt sad for all fans
mourning. It broke my heart. And
I’m so sorry…for Priscilla and for
Lisa Marie. Wish I’d been there
when she married Michael. But I
couldn’t just turn up? Could I?
Anyway it was in the Dominican
Republic. And the grandchildren…
breaks my heart. Thinking of Dodger
and me. The love. The trust.
Vizz starts weeping…
STEVE
Should I get Lucy?
Vizz nods.Steve gets up.
Genres:
["Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
48 -
Tensions in the Cabin
INT. THE CABIN - CONTINUOUS
STEVE
He wants you.
Lucy rounds up the bobcats.
LUCY
I've sent a message to all the
cousins. So if you see people
coming around here you'll know who
they are. They know who you are.
And why you're here. So give us
some space and don't fuck anything
up. Promise?
Steve nods. Lucy and the bobcats enter the bedroom. Steve
walks up to the armoire. Opens. Grabs a bottle of King's Gold
and exits the cabin.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
49 -
A Toast to the Departed
EXT. THE VALLEY/SHED - LATER
Steve finds a spot near the shed. Sits and takes a swig of
King's Gold. Quite tasty. Steve lights up. Hears car
approaching and sees some cousins gather up on the hilltop.
The valley is tranquil. Steve wonders at this. A gentle
breeze caresses the trees. Suddenly a majestic gust of wind
passes through the pasture almost like a final breath. A
kingly and dignified sigh. A rustle in the branches. And then
calmness.
Steve can not hold back his tears as he rises the bottle and
salutes.
STEVE
To the King of Kings. To the
Emperor of Emperors.
He wipes the tears. Sees Lucy approach down the slope.
Stricken by grief she can't hold back her tears.Steve
senses...
LUCY
Well. He is gone.
Steve loss forwords.
LUCY (CONT’D)
Seems he wanted you to have all his
worldly belongings.
STEVE
Yes.He mentioned that.
LUCY
Hope that's OK with you.
STEVE
Yes.
LUCY
God knows why. Perhaps he wanted to
teach you a lesson.
STEVE
A lesson?
LUCY
Not to value material possessions
too much? To have faith? Trust
others? Anyways. I want you stay
away for awhile. It’s cousins only
time. I do hope you understand.
STEVE
Sure.
LUCY
This has all been prepared for.
When we leave we're gone, we're
gone. And so is this place. It's
history. But to you: take whatever
you want and burn the rest. I'm
leaving a car for you to get back
to Paris.
(a beat)
Goodbye. Puppy-dog.
A faint smile on Lucy’s face. She turns and walks up the
slope.
STEVE
Lucy!
She stops. Turns around.
STEVE (CONT’D)
(tongue-tied)
Goodbye!
She shrugs. Continues up the slope.
STEVE (CONT’D)
(to self)
You fucking idiot!
Genres:
["Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
50 -
Echoes of Absence
EXT. OUTSIDE THE CABIN - LATER
A bit of commotion around the cabin. Exiting the cabin a
congregation carries a sunburst laquered casket. They
disappear behind the lush foliage. Music. A hymn. Almost a
whisper.
EXT. THE VALLEY/CABIN - CONTINUOUS
Steve walks slowly up the slope. One step at a time. When he
reaches the cabin it's all quiet. No music. No hymns. All
cousins evanesced. Slowly pushes open the cabin door.
INT. THE CABIN - CONTINUOUS
Steve paces slowly around the empty cabin. Pulls open
drawers, hatches. Very little utensils. If any. The armoire,
a few bottles left of King's Gold.Pulls the cloth from the
taperecorders.Checks the Magic box and Navy sync unit.
He then pulls out the suit case. The King's Gold. Opens the
lid. Reel to reel tapes.All in neat order. Steve scrutinizes
all titles. However two tapes are missing.Behind the bedroom
door the Gibson LG2.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
51 -
Moonlit Reflections
EXT. THE VALLEY/GROVE - CONTINUOUS
Steve walks up the hill to the grove. Beautiful view
overlooking the other side of the valley. In the middle of
the grove a mound. A simple white cross: Uncle Vizz.
The clouds scatter. A bright full moon appears and renders a
magic glow to the scenery. Way back at a distance a narrow
road appears. Silhouetted against the silvery pathway a
shadow marching steadfast carrying a huge duffle bag. The
silhouette passes through the shadows and disappears.
EXT. THE VALLEY/CABIN - CONTINUOUS
Montage sequence:
Steve rolls the tape recorders down to the truck. Back up the
slope for the Magic box. Then again for the Navy sync. Heavy
stuff. Steve's exhausted. Another turn for the Gibson.
INT. THE CABIN - CONTINUOUS
Steve surveys the empty cabin. Only one item left. The
suitcase containing all tapes. Save Nirvana. Steve hears
rhythmic pacing outside on the gravel: left,
right,left,right... Then silence.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
52 -
A Moonlit Reunion
EXT. THE GROVE - CONTINUOUS
Steve enters the grove. In front of the grave: a kneeling
soldier silhouetted in the moonlight. Camouflage uniform.Hat
in hand. A mark of reverence.
Steve clears his throat. Soldier turns around. Not easily
scared. He rises and walks up to Steve. Nametag V.E.Hood. US
MARINES. V E HOOD (21yrs) salutes Steve.
VINCE EVERETT HOOD
Sir. Staff sergeant Vince Everett
Hood. U S Marines. First recon.
Camp Pendleton, sir.
Steve's taken aback.
STEVE
Eeeh. Steve.Stine.Brooklyn.Music
man?
Handshakes.
STEVE (CONT’D)
You must be a cousin?
VINCE EVERETT HOOD
Yes sir. I tried to get here as
fast as possible.
STEVE
From Pendleton?
VINCE EVERETT HOOD
No sir. Overseas.
STEVE
You sure made it quick. Where are
you deployed?
VINCE EVERETT HOOD
That's classified, sir.
STEVE
Sure. Can I ask you for a favor?
VINCE EVERETT HOOD
Sure can do, sir.
STEVE
When you're done up here, due
respect, can you give me a hand?
VINCE EVERETT HOOD
Rightaway,sir.
The soldier looks familiar. he’s a deadringer for G I Elvis
(1958)
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery","War"]
Ratings
Scene
53 -
A Friendly Farewell
EXT. THE VALLEY/TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
V E Hood has no problems lifting the recorders and boxes onto
the truck.
STEVE
Ever so grateful. I could have been
here forever.
VINCE EVERETT HOOD
No worries. This is all Uncle
Vizz's stuff.
STEVE
Sure is.
V E Hood glances at the guitar.
VINCE EVERETT HOOD
Do you mind if I borrow this for a
while?
STEVE
No. Go ahead.
V E Hood walks up to the grove. Steve follows but veers off
to the cabin.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
54 -
Echoes in the Grove
INT. THE CABIN - MOMENTS LATER
Steve loads a canvas sack with all the hooch. Grabs the
suitcase.Exits the cabin.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE CABIN - CONTINUOUS
Steps out on the porch. From the grove there comes a song.
Without any doubt this is Elvis singing Green green grass of
home accompanied by a guitar. Steve puts down sack and
suitcase. Follows the music. Up to the grove. But the music
gets fainter.
EXT. THE GROVE - CONTINUOUS
Steve enters the grove. Empty. No V E Hood to be seen. Just
the mysterious serious moonlight.
STEVE
(bellows)
Vince!..
Echoes through the valley. Rolls back over the hills.
ECHO
vince...vince...vizz...vizz...
(fades away)
No response.
STEVE
Easy come. Easy go...puppy...dog.
Steve walks back to the cabin.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
55 -
The Final Destruction
EXT. CABIN PORCH - CONTINUOUS
Steve stares at the sack and suitcase.Ponders. Takes sack,
suitcase and exits...
STEVE
The tyrannous and bloody deed is
done. The most arch deed of piteous
massacre that ever yet this land
was guilty of...
I/E. THE VALLEY/SHED - CONTINUOUS
...Steve rummages through the shed. Finds a long-handed spade
and a can of diesel.
STEVE
...Dighton and Forrest, whom I did
suborn to do this ruthless piece of
butchery.
EXT. BEHIND THE SHED - MOMENTS LATER
Steve digs a hole in the ground. Empties the suitcase. Grabs
Blind Beggar bottles. Unscrews caps, pours the liquid over
the tapes. Finishes with diesel. Sets it all on fire.
EXT. BEHIND THE SHED - MOMENTS LATER
Steve calls Moe. Fire in background.
CLOSE UP: Moe’s mobile:S**TSTAIN.Moe's tedious answering
message. Finally.
STEVE
Hey Moe. Just to let you know. You
will never get to hear the King's
Gold. It's gone. Gone. And so is
the King. Forever.
EXT. BEHIND THE SHED - MOMENTS LATER
Steve stares down into the pit with all the melted plastic
and cracked bottles. Indolently poking into the fire.
STEVE
It's now or never.
Genres:
["Drama","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
56 -
Unexpected Call from Dave Grohl
INT. SUNBEAM LOBBY/OFFICE - LATER
Steve's logged on to E-bay on the old computer. Photos of the
two Ampex 350s and the Navy sync. Adds + Magic Box, mobile
number and...wooosh. Send.
Quite content he is, but then.
STEVE
Fuck. No price.Aaaaah.Fuckit.
INT. SUNBEAM LOBBY/OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
Mobile rings.Unknown caller.
STEVE
Yes. Steve talking.
VOICE (GROHL)
Still got them?
STEVE
The recorders? Yeah.Still here.
VOICE
Perfect. We're in Nashville so
we're not far away. We be coming in
an hour or two. It's me and Pat.
STEVE
And you are?
VOICE
I'm Dave with my buddy Pat.
STEVE
Great talking to you, Dave. See you
soon.
Hangs up. Steve stares at the mobile.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
57 -
The Holy Grail of Sound
EXT. OUTSIDE SUNBEAM STUDIO - LATER
Feverish honking. Steve steps out. Dave Grohl (THE REAL DAVE
GROHL)and Pat Smear (THE REAL PAT SMEAR) arrive in the FOO
van.
DAVE GROHL
Hey how’re you doin’?
STEVE
Pretty good.
DAVE GROHL
You’re Steve?
STEVE
Yea.
DAVE GROHL
I’m Dave, this is Pat, we spoke
before about your Ampex 350’s?
Steve pulls a tarp off the truck. Gestures to the machines.
Dave and Pat climbs up to inspect the two Ampex 350 reel-to-
reel recorders.
DAVE GROHL (CONT’D)
These aren’t the original wood
cabinets, tho?
STEVE
I dunno.
DAVE GROHL
Probably not. If these really are
the original Sun Studio 350’s Sam
would’ve just kept the cabinets and
swapped out these with his new
351’s.
They continue inspection.
PAT SMEAR
Do you have any documentation on
these?
STEVE
Nothing. Sorry.
DAVE GROHL
Pat, can you check the serial
numbers?
Pat hops to it closely checks, comparing with info on his
smartphone.
PAT SMEAR
Awesome.
DAVE GROHL
I gotta make a call.
STEVE
So, you guys drove down from
Nashville?
PAT SMEAR
Yeah, We're recording at Southern
Ground.
STEVE
I figured L.A, but that would’ve
been a hell of a drive.
PAT SMEAR
May still be.
Dave returns.
DAVE GROHL
Yea, numbers match, everything
checks out,..these are the original
Sun Studio Ampex 350’s that
everybody’s been looking for. How’d
you get your hands on them?
STEVE
A guy in the woods. A friend.
DAVE GROHL
You are aware of the historical
significance of these things,
right?
STEVE
Oh, yea.
Dave gazes, dreamily, at the recorders. Gently strokes one.
Says to no-one.
DAVE GROHL
Fucking Holy Grail.
STEVE
So what do you want to do?
DAVE GROHL
Oh we want to buy them. How much
you want?
STEVE
DAVE GROHL
For both?
STEVE
Each.
DAVE GROHL
(contemplates)
Sounds about right. The 351’s that
replaced these went on auction
starting at around 30 grand if I
recall correctly. These are way
more bitchin’
PAT SMEAR
WAY more bitchin’. Elvis.
DAVE GROHL
(pats a recorder))
He’s in the building.
They carry the recorders, Navy sync unit into the Foo van.
STEVE
I’ll even throw in a mystery box.
Steve pats a dusty cardboard box.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Think there’s a couple of original
55’s in there.
DAVE
Sweet.
All shake hands.Pat closes the van-doors. Dave and Steve
shake hands again.
DAVE (CONT’D)
This has been a big day.
STEVE
You guys take care.
Dave enters vehicle. Yells out the window.
DAVE GROHL
Lemme know if you run into more
guys in the woods?
Beep-beep. The van drive off. Steve’s looking at the
dustcloud. A load of dollar bills in his hand.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
58 -
The Mysterious Tape
INT. SUNBEAM STUDIO - HOURS LATER
Steve's mobile again.Unknown.Answers.
DAVE GROHL
There was a tape in the box.
STEVE
Yeah?
DAVE GROHL
It’s a recording of a Nirvana song
(Come as you are?)…we’ve been
fucking listening to it over and
over again...Is that who we think
it is singing on the tape… because
if it is…that’s fucking awesome!
STEVE
Yeah?
DAVE GROHL
Dude...is this Elvis?
STEVE
Eeermmh. No.
DAVE GROHL
Who is it then?
STEVE
A friend.
DAVE GROHL
A friend? He's fucking awesome.
Where is he? Can we meet him?
STEVE
Eeeeermh. No.
DAVE GROHL
Why not?
STEVE
He's dead.
DAVE GROHL
Dead?
STEVE
Quite recently as a matter of fact.
DAVE GROHL
But the tape must be thirty plus
years old. It's in fucking mono.
STEVE
Yeah, I know, sounds weird. But
it's actually simulated stereo.
DAVE GROHL
So there's another tape?
Tells Pat.
DAVE GROHL (CONT’D)
Pat, there's another tape in the
box. Simulated stereo...(to
Steve)And what's the name of this
guy again?
STEVE
I don't know.
DAVE GROHL
What?!!You don't know? That´s
weird.Is this-the-guy-in-the-woods
called anything?
STEVE
Sort of, but I don't know if it is
his real name or not.
DAVE GROHL
So, what's he called.
STEVE
Eeeermh...Uncle Vizz. I think.
DAVE GROHL
Uncle Vizz. Living in the woods.
Making the best recording ever of a
Nirvana song on two recording
devices from the fifties that have
been missing for sixty years. Two
tapes in a dusty cardboard box but
with no dust whatsoever on the
tapes. Pristine condition. And he
died recently? And no one has heard
of him? Now that's a bad, bad
motherfucker.Does he have any
relatives? Someone I can call?
STEVE
No next of kin. No contact info.
DAVE GROHL
Fucking mystery. Well, if you find
any more tapes give me a ring.
STEVE
Sure thing.
Hangs up.
Genres:
["Drama","Mystery"]
Ratings
Scene
59 -
Celestial Echoes
INT. SUNBEAM STUDIO - LATER
Steve looks at the wad of money filling his hand. Takes a
good look around the studio.
STEVE
Time to move on.
Steve starts singing: "You gotta move"
He switches off the main circuit. The studio goes dark. Walks
up to the front door. Pulls out the key. Takes one last look
around.
It all has a mysterious erie atmosphere to it. The shapes The
scorched panels. The dried up puddles of water. But there,on
the console, in a ray of moonlight lies an unrecognisable
tape. Steve's bewildered. Stops singing.
He doesn’t recall that tape or it being left there where it
lay. He walks up to this console. Picks the tape up.
Scrutinizes it. No. he's never seen this before.
He switches on the main circuit. In the back room there's a
tape recorder.He connects it. Threads the tape. Hits fast-
forward.
The sounds doesn't makes sense. He rewinds it. Turns the
spool. Suddenly it sounds human. A voice. But high pitched.
Steve changes the tape speed. Now it's barely audible. He
rewinds it again. Puts his finger on the reel. Now there's a
message through am astral noise...
Mystery voice.
Hi. It's me. Taylor. Just wanted to send this message. We're
all here: Jimi, Bonzo, Moon, Morrison, Janis, The Ox, Kurt,
Lennon,Bowie, Mercury (literally all dead artists) and guess
who just arrived. The King! The King! It's stellar. The great
gig in the sky.And there's music and love eternally. You'll
love it here. There is love. There is music. There is
God.Love is Music. Music is Love. Love is God. Music is God.
God is Love. God is Music.Love is in Music. Music is in God.
God is in Love. Love is in God. God is in Music. Music is in
Love.(this repeats until it fades out...)
Steve sits in the darkness and listens to this celestial
message from Taylor Hawkins.
Genres:
["Mystery","Drama","Fantasy"]
Ratings
Scene
60 -
Starry Night to Swamp Arrest
EXT. OUTSIDE SUNBEAM STUDIO - CONTINUOUS
Like a Magritte painting the studio lies in the lush embedded
environment.Image tilts slowly upwards to reveal a clear
starry sky. A specific star suddenly gleams in a Disneyesque
way. Then another star twinkles. And another. And another.
And another! The whole bloody Milky Way is pumping!
Music fades up: Guitar...drums...a distorted organ...a
thumping base...then from nowhere...
Nobody gonna take my car!
I'm gonna race it to the ground!
Nobody gonna beat my car!
It's gonna break the speed of sound!
Ooh, it's a killing machine
It's got everything
Like a driving power
Big fat tires and everything
I love it and I need it, I bleed
it
Yeah, it's a wild hurricane
Alright, hold tight
I'm a highway star
Nobody gonna take my girl
I'm gonna keep her to the end
Nobody gonna have my girl
She stays close on every bend
Ooh, she's a killing machine
She got everything
Like a moving mouth
Body control and everything
(CONT’D)
I love her, I need her, I seed her
Yeah, she turns me on
Alright, hold on tight
I'm a highway star
Nobody gonna take my head
I got speed inside my brain
Nobody gonna steal my head
Now that I'm on the road again
Ooh, I'm in Heaven again
I got everything
Like a moving ground
An open road and everything
(CONT’D)
I love it and I need it, I seed it
Eight cylinders all mine
Alright, hold on tight
I'm a highway star
Nobody gonna take my car
I'm gonna race it to the ground
Nobody gonna beat my car
It's gonna break the speed of sound
(CONT’D)
Ooh, it's a killing machine
It's got everything
Like a driving power
Big fat tires and everything
(CONT’D)
I love it and I need it, I bleed
it
Yeah, it's a wild hurricane
Alright, hold on tight
I'm a highway star
I'm a highway star
I'm a highway star
EXT SWAMP - NIGHT
Bang! Bang! Bang! Flashlight spraying through a car window.
STEVE
Wait a second, Dave…
RANGER(LUCY)
Sir! You have to step out of the
vehicle! Put your hands where I can
see them! Slowly! Step out of the
vehicle! Now!
Steve’s totally giddy and flummoxed. Opens the door. Slides
out. Steve’s blinded by the intense light.
RANGER(LUCY) (CONT’D)
Sir! Move slowly. Get out of the
vehicle!
The flashlight is spraying around in the car blinding Steve.
He sees a familiar face. In the Park Ranger uniform.
STEVE
Lucy! It’s me.
RANGER(LUCY
Calm down, sir. Hands against the
hood! Slowly,
STEVE
But Lucy. It’s me. Steve.
RANGER(LUCY)
Please don’t Lucy me. Hands against
hood please. You have to show me
some ID, sir.
STEVE
But it’s me.Steve…
Another patrol car arrives. Police lights flashing.Deputy
steps out.Shining another torch.
STEVE (CONT’D)
Tom! It’s me. Steve.
No reaction.
RANGER(LUCY
He’s got no ID and the car’s
reported as stolen(foreclosure).
And he keeps calling me Lucy.
STEVE
Hey! Wait a minute…I was on the
phone with Dave Grohl. He’s just
listened to Elvis singing Come as
you are and is totally blown away!
Lucy leans in. Picks up the mobile. Ponders. Shows the
display. Around 300 text messages from someone named Moe.
RANGER (LUCY)
No call from any Dave.
STEVE
Check unknown. Unknown.
RANGER (LUCY)
Guess Dave hung up. I'm gonna check
him up.
Waiting. Deputy humming some Warren G rap.Quite good at it.
STEVE
You like Warren G?
DEPUTY SCHILLER
Yeah. The older stuff. The rest
sucks.
STEVE
It's a bit odd you being a cop
liking gangsta rap.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
What's odd about that? And I am a
(tap on his DEPUTY SHERIFF badge)
Ranger(Lucy) returns.
RANGER (LUCY)
Yeah, there's a warrant for an
arrest in New York State for fraud
and arson. Clearly a nut case.
DEPUTY SCHILLER
I see. Let’s take him in…
STEVE
Oh, shit.
THE END.
CAPTION:
ELVIS AARON PRESLEY died on the 16th August 1977.His autopsy
will be unsealed 50 years after his death (2027), with
conspiracy theorists convinced it will reveal a different
story to his official cause of death.