EXT. THE 10 FREEWAY - DAY
Scorching sun. On a big stretch road, a black convertible
with open roof, flashes at a top speed. SIX PEOPLE crammed
inside.
INT./EXT. CONVERTIBLE - DAY
Everyone looks tired except GREG[25].
Greg, a crazy-chubby guy, hands on the wheel, wearing a red
women's half tee and a long white skirt.
Seated shotgun, CHANDU[17] an Indian-American high school
boy, wearing a blood stained oversized white shirt.
In the back, an INDIAN GIRL seated on a GINGER GUY'S lap,
kissing wildly.
Nearby, staring at them, MR. RICHIE[33], an African-American
curvy man, wearing a black catholic cassock, and on his lap,
PREETI[28], an Indian-American woman in Indian wedding
attire.
All of a sudden, Greg hits the brake, tires screech, the
convertible stops in the middle of the freeway. Richie and
Chandu get scared.
MR. RICHIE
You mother fucking cunt!
GREG
I need to pee.
CHANDU
Again?!
Greg turns towards Chandu, opens the door. 'BANG'. A truck
hits the door, takes it away. Silence. Couples still kissing.
Other cars, honks, gets around.
Greg gets out to the front, spreads his leg, wind blows his
skirt up like Marilyn Monroe, starts to pee, looking towards
them.
MR. RICHIE
Chandu? Hit the gas and kill him.
Chandu moves his hand slowly, clicks a button, wipers move up
and down. Greg finishes peeing, adjusts his skirt, gets in
the car.
GREG
We are doing wedding run bitches!
Greg laughs loud. Others just straight face.
EXT. THE 10 FREEWAY - CONTINUOUS
License plate reads: "6HR NY9". Tires screech, smokes fill,
the convertible moves away fast. Board displays 'L.A 111
Miles'.
SUPER: Wedding Run
Genres:
["Comedy","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
2 -
Frozen Connections
INT. MR. RICHIE'S LIVING ROOM. NEW YORK - NIGHT
Richie, innocent face, half naked, with a towel around his
waist, on a video call with Preeti.
SUPER: 44 Hours earlier
MR. RICHIE
Your dad? Your whole family was
there, I was like teleported to
India this morning.
PREETI (V.O.)
(On phone screen)
Did you tell them everything?
MR. RICHIE
I told them everything, I swear,
and I tried to compromise with your
dad, but your uncle was ahead every
time, why is he involved in ours?
PREETI (V.O.)
(On phone screen)
My uncle is the head of our family
and we should abide by him. Ok, did
my father agree or at least gave
any signs that he agrees?
MR. RICHIE
Your father was angry, gave me a
death stare and your crazy uncle
showed me his ring finger instead
of middle finger.
PREETI (V.O.)
(On phone screen)
Oh my. My dad was angry?
MR. RICHIE
Oh ya, and also your loud uncle
said some stupid shit like he told
your dad to kiss me.
PREETI (V.O.)
(Sobs, on phone screen)
No no. Wish my mom was alive.
MR. RICHIE
Hey don't worry, I'll find another
way, everything's gonna be fine.
PREETI (V.O.)
(On phone screen)
Everything's not going to be fine!
I'm getting married next week to a
total stranger, all my cousins are
here like today's my wedding. My
father hates you, I'm in love with
you so much, but now I can't
believe everything's tearing apart
and--
Richie's phone display: Preeti's frozen face.
MR. RICHIE
Babe? Babe can you hear me? Preeti?
Richie shakes, taps his phone, but nothing happens.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Fuck! Fuck! Damn internet!
Richie tries to reconnect, nothing works. Keypad clicks,
Phone displays: "CALLING - Indian Internet".
Genres:
["Drama","Romance","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
3 -
The Awkward Inquiry
INT. CHANDU'S HOUSE. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Chandu rushes down the stairs, his mom, SUNDARI[44] and his
sister KAM[17] are preparing dinner.
CHANDU
Ma? Mr. Richie called me to fix his
internet, I'm going to his house,
I'll be back soon.
Sundari nods yes whilst cooking.
KAM
(Mouths)
Liar.
CHANDU
..Ok bye.
Chandu, twists the door knob, his father NAGESH[53], with an
Indian accent, stops him.
NAGESH
Chandu?
Chandu turns around.
NAGESH (CONT'D)
You said you wanted to know
something earlier, what is it?
Chandu stares.
CHANDU
Oh ahh, I'll get to that later.
Chandu tries to leave.
NAGESH
There is no later, come on just
ask. What do you need?
Chandu notices his mom and sister ready to gossip. He bites
his teeth.
CHANDU
Ok. I have hairs in my balls and
ass area, I want to remove it
completely, I need to know how to
do it.
Kam gags, Sundari closes her ears, Nagesh's eye brows raised.
NAGESH
That's what you want to know? Why
don't you ask that to your friends
or your P.E teacher?
CHANDU
My friends don't have ass hair and
my P.E teacher doesn't have any
balls, hopefully you have both, and
you are my dad, so how?
NAGESH
I don't have ball hairs son.
CHANDU
Ass hair?
Nagesh slowly spins his head towards Sundari. Chandu nods no.
Sundari, rubbing a potato hard on a slicer, whole table
shakes. Awkward silence.
Genres:
["Comedy","Family Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
4 -
A Night of Disarray
EXT. MR. RICHIE'S HOUSE FRONT - NIGHT
Chandu parks his mini motor bike, strolls to the door,
knocks.
CHANDU
Mr. Richie?
Door opens. Richie standing half naked.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Good eve Mr. Richie.
MR. RICHIE
Good evening, come on in.
INT. MR. RICHIE'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Lights lit, lazy room, an old couch with soda cans and chips.
MR. RICHIE
Thanks for coming kid.
CHANDU
It's ok sir, cool.
MR. RICHIE
I don't see that wifi signal,
something's wrong with the
internet.
CHANDU
No, it's actually with the router.
MR. RICHIE
Oh ok, can you?
Chandu nods yes. Richie's phone rings, he grabs it, walks
towards the bathroom.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
If you're done, just close the door
and leave.
CHANDU
Sure Mr. Richie.
Richie gets inside the bathroom. Chandu walks towards the
router, starts to fix, finishes it, walks back to the door.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Mr. Richie? I fixed your router
it'll work now.. And I'm leaving,
good night.
MR. RICHIE (O.S.)
Ya good night, thanks!
Chandu gets out. Door closes.
INT. MR. RICHIE'S BATHROOM - NEXT DAY
Richie laying down on the floor, naked, his eyes opens. He
gets up slowly, rubs his head and chest, moans in pain.
MR. RICHIE
Ahh, what the hell?
Richie looks in the mirror, takes his phone, it displays:
Wifi connected, a lot of missed calls, time reads 08:34 AM.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Shit shit shit!
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FRONT - DAY
Huge block letters in the wall "KARAMEN HIGH SCHOOL OF NEW
YORK", parking filled with bicycles, but no people. Richie
sprinting towards the main door, he gets in. Door closes.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FRONT - AFTER NOON
Door closed. BELL RINGS. A muffled voice from inside..
MALE KID (V.O.)
Move! Move bitch!
Door opens, a FAT TEEN BOY pushes other STUDENTS, runs out.
Students start to flood.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Crowded with students, murmuring, standing in the midst, Mr.
JACOB[30], a ginger, transfer teacher from London, with a
thick British accent, yells at his students.
MR. JACOB
I'd love Hitler!--
Sudden silence. Jacob shivers.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
Shit!-On my table! Monday! I meant
the Hitler's essay on my table.
Monday!
Talking noises are back, students back to their routine.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
5 -
Unexpected Revelations
INT. STAFF ROOM - AFTERNOON
Jacob, head down, bolts in. Richie seated, sweaty face, with
his phone in his ears, signing papers, few students standing
in front of his desk.
MR. RICHIE
(On phone)
No, I can't handle your dad again.
How many times?--
Few TEACHERS leave, waves bye, Richie waves, gets back to
signing.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
(On phone)
I don't know anything about Indian
arranged weddings, I will come up
with a good plan, I promise.
PREETI (V.O.)
(Over phone)
Just try speaking again, he will
change his mind.
Richie finishes signing, students leave, except Chandu, tall
in front. Richie waves him to go, but he stands still.
MR. RICHIE
(On phone)
It will not work. Ok babe I love
you, we will sort this out soon,
I'll get to my home and call, bye.
PREETI (V.O.)
(Over phone)
Wait wait, Richie just listen to
me, it's already Friday--
Richie hangs up the call, looks down, depressed. Chandu waves
a paper.
CHANDU
Mr. Richie, is everything fine?
Richie scratches his head.
MR. RICHIE
What?
CHANDU
Can we talk now?
MR. RICHIE
I'm not gonna give any extra credit
for fixing my internet.
CHANDU
Fixed your router actually, ok it's
already three thirty PM.
Chandu looks left and right, bends down, whispers to Richie.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Is Preeti ready?
MR. RICHIE
Woah woah, what? Which Preeti? Who
Preeti?
CHANDU
Your Preeti, your girlfriend.
MR. RICHIE
What the fuck?!
FEW TEACHERS spins around to Richie, his eyes opens wide.
Richie slowly turns his head to Jacob, but he winks at Richie
and smiles.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
(Mouths)
What the fuck?
CHANDU
We should go outside and talk.
Chandu leaves, Richie follows him.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
6 -
Restroom Revelations
INT. EMPTY STUDENTS RESTROOM - AFTER NOON
Chandu bolts in. Richie strolls, straight face.
CHANDU
Hey sorry for that, must have
called you to a private place at
first.
Richie looks out, empty hallway, he closes the door.
MR. RICHIE
How do you know my girlfriend? And
also her name?
CHANDU
How do I know your girlfriend? You
cried about her last night.
MR. RICHIE
What?! No, are you crazy? Wait,
were you eavesdropping last night?
CHANDU
Last night you got freaked out
about your girlfriend and you
cried.
MR. RICHIE
No! Last night you fixed my
internet--
CHANDU
Router--
MR. RICHIE
And you left.
CHANDU
I didn't leave. I fixed your
"internet" and as I was leaving,
you called me back in and cried
about your girlfriend marrying a
rich Indian dude.
Richie gasps.
MR. RICHIE
How do you know that? Fuck! You
were spying on me, did you put some
kind of recording device in my
internet?--
CHANDU
Router! Oh my god.
MR. RICHIE
Boy I could tell, you were over
hearing our convo, this is bad kid,
not good.
CHANDU
No, you shared with me, remember?
You kinda over shared. I know all
about you.
MR. RICHIE
Oh really? Ok, what is my full
name? And what color underwear am I
wearing?
CHANDU
You are not wearing any.
Richie looks stunned and confused. TOILET FLUSH. A stall
opens, KID comes out, smirks at Richie and Chandu, exits.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Seriously you don't remember what
happened last night?
MR. RICHIE
I do remember. You fixed and left,
now tell me, how the fuck you know
about my girlfriend?
CHANDU
Oh my God. Yes, Greg was right, you
were on drugs last night.
MR. RICHIE
No I was not on drugs. And who the
fuck is Greg?
GREG
I am.
Richie startles.
MR. RICHIE
Jesus Christ!
Standing behind Richie is Greg, the school janitor, a cast in
his right arm.
GREG
Greg, Gregory Cunt.
Richie doesn't respond.
MR. RICHIE
Is this some kind of a prank?
Greg nods no.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
I don't know why you guys are
pulling this, but I'm not in the
mood right now, I have to go.
CHANDU
That makes total sense. Greg, you
were right after all.
GREG
Greg is always right. Supreme fact
is, I can touch my balls with my
tongue, no one believes me.
Greg laughs alone. Chandu and Richie just stare at each
other.
MR. RICHIE
Ok I'm gonna leave you guys, just
do your thing.
Richie turns around, walks.
CHANDU
No no no Mr. Richie wait! I'll
explain everything, please stay--
Restroom door opens, everyone panics. Jacob enters.
MR. JACOB
Hey Richie. Everything is under
control, all staffs left home, no
mother fucker is here, we rule.
Chandu? Here is the stun gun you
asked for.
Richie looks at Jacob, weirdly. Jacob hands the stun gun to
Chandu.
MR. RICHIE
What? Stun gun? Really? You too in
this joke Jacob? And did you just
say mothah fokah?
Jacob looks confused.
CHANDU
He was on drugs last night.
GREG
Greg was right.
MR. RICHIE
Hey just stop saying that shit ok?!
I don't do drugs.
Jacob, winks, giggles.
MR. JACOB
Ya right.
CHANDU
He was high Jayboy.
GREG
Very high.
MR. RICHIE
Woah. Ok now what's going on here?
He just called you Jayboy.
MR. JACOB
Oh ya, he's my friend since last
night, we all are now, we had great
fun and I'm still jealous of your
seven and a half year old
relationship.
Richie's jaw drops.
MR. RICHIE
How the fuck do you know that?
MR. JACOB
You told us dude.
CHANDU
He told or he cried?
MR. JACOB
Cried cried, definitely cried.
Richie's eyes blurs, he gets inside a toilet stall, sits,
rubs his face.
GREG
Is he going to poop? I just cleaned
that one.
CHANDU
Mr. Richie just listen to me ok?
Are we cool?
MR. RICHIE
Oh fuck me.
CHANDU
Ok here it is.
GREG
Are you going to fuck him? How
many?
CHANDU
Don't be so weird man.
Greg smiles at Jacob, but he turns away from Greg. Chandu
lowers down.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
You were real high last night and
your memory is completely wiped, so
don't freak out, just listen to us.
Mr. Henry and Frank are going to
Preeti's house to kidnap her--
Richie gets up, fumes.
MR. RICHIE
Kidnap her?! No no no, I don't
believe this fucking shit! And if
this is true, I'm not gonna let
this happen, that's my girl and you
just stay the hell out of my life!
THUD. Jacob slaps Richie hard, everyone freaks out.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Ahh.. What the? Why?!
MR. JACOB
I mother fucker slapped you for not
listening to us.
CHANDU
You are using it wrong.
MR. JACOB
Ah, who cares. Look Richie, we have
already planned and everything is
going good, you just shut your tiny
penis and follow our lead.
Richie eyes Jacob, suspicious. Everyone relaxes. Richie looks
around, pushes Jacob, bolts to the door.
Richie shivers rapidly. From behind, Chandu tazes him with
the stun gun. Richie falls down, passes out.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
7 -
Tangled Truths
INT. CLASS ROOM - EVENING
Darkness. Little light coming from the hallway. Richie seated
on a chair, looks dizzy, slowly opens his eyes.
MR. RICHIE
Guys? Hello?
Richie struggles, finds his hands and legs tied.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Chandu? Jacob?
GREG (O.C)
You are nowhere.
MR. RICHIE
This my classroom, Greg.
GREG (O.C)
No.
Spraying sound.
MR. RICHIE
That's the same room spray we use
here.
GREG (O.C)
Dammit!
Door opens. Chandu and Jacob enters with a bag, turns on the
lights.
CHANDU
Oh thank God you woke up.
MR. RICHIE
N*gga you tazed me?
Greg giggles. All turn their head.
GREG
You are the nig*a Mr. Richie.
Richie gasps. Jacob drops his face down, Chandu sighs.
MR. RICHIE
Son of a bitch!
CHANDU
Shut the fuck Greg.
Greg laughs, hides his mouth. Chandu gets near Richie.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
I'm sorry for--
MR. RICHIE
I'm gonna fail you, you're not
going to any college.
MR. JACOB
Hey Richie? It was me, I tazed you.
MR. RICHIE
You English goose fucking idiot!
Chandu gets mad, flames towards Richie's chair, lifts it
behind, balance it back and holds. Richie trembles..
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Hey! Stop it! No!
CHANDU
We put our fucking good life to
save your girlfriend, just for you.
(MORE)
CHANDU (CONT'D)
You see that cast on Greg's arm, he
broke it for you, and this
gentlemen right here, almost got
killed trying to save you last
night.
MR. RICHIE
Killed?! Save me from what?!
Chandu drops the chair down slowly. Richie calms down.
MR. JACOB
It's ok, you don't wanna know that.
MR. RICHIE
Wow. Ok guys, I don't know how you
guys know my situation and I'm not
clear why you guys are helping me,
but ok I believe, just explain me,
what the hell happened last night?
GREG
So you agree you were on drugs?
MR. RICHIE
Just put me through last night.
GREG
Last night was fun Mr. Richie! Fun!
We did a lot of crazy things!
CHANDU
Ok, I'll put you through, just
don't freak out and also please
don't interrupt me.
MR. RICHIE
I promise.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
8 -
Desperate Measures
INT. MR. RICHIE'S LIVING ROOM. FLASHBACK - LAST NIGHT
Chandu stands near the door.
CHANDU
Mr. Richie I fixed your router
it'll work now.. And I'm leaving,
good night.
MR. RICHIE (V.O.)
Ya good night thanks!
EXT. MR. RICHIE'S HOUSE FRONT. FLASHBACK - NIGHT
Chandu closes the door, walks to his motor bike, looks back,
sees Richie by the door. Chandu waves bye, gets on his bike,
ready to kick start, but..
MR. RICHIE
Chandu?
Chandu turns back, sees Richie standing near him, eyes wet,
not stable. He gets off his bike.
CHANDU
Mr. Richie are you alright?
MR. RICHIE
(Sobs)
Noo.
CHANDU
Ok, let's get you in.
INT. MR. RICHIE'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM. FLASHBACK - NIGHT
Chandu and Richie on the couch. Richie looks weak, cries
loud.
CHANDU
No no please stop, what happened?
Don't cry I'm here.
Richie stops crying.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Are you alright?
MR. RICHIE
No, yes, I don't know.
CHANDU
Ok, I need to leave, should I call
someone to come over?
MR. RICHIE
(Cries)
No, please stay, I'm scared and I
need your help.
CHANDU
Calm down, I'll stay, how may I
help you?
MR. RICHIE
I have a problem with my girlfriend
Preeti, and I want you to help me
get married with her, she is
getting arranged married next week
to a wealthy Indian guy and also
good looking.
CHANDU
I will help you, can you call her
now? Let's all talk together and
figure it out.
Richie gets his energy back.
MR. RICHIE
No! We are not gonna call her now,
we are going to her house, meet her
and fuckin pull her out, then go to
L.A and get married, have more
kids, I mean lot of kids!
CHANDU
Nice, that is awesome.
MR. RICHIE
Yes let's go, take my car keys.
CHANDU
We are not going now, and you don't
have a car.
MR. RICHIE
We are going in your car.
CHANDU
I have a mini bike with a single
seat.
MR. RICHIE
You sit on my lap, I'll drive.
CHANDU
No! Ok, lets go to her house. I'll
call Greg, he is nearby, he'll
bring his van.
MR. RICHIE
Who the fuck is Greg?
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
9 -
The Reckless Plan
EXT. MR. RICHIE'S HOUSE FRONT. FLASHBACK - NIGHT
Richie and Chandu waiting outside. Richie is unsteady, Greg
arrives in a black crew van, no cast in his arms.
CHANDU
Hey Greg, thanks for coming.
MR. RICHIE
Hi Greg--
GREG
Sssh. Fuck you.
Greg and Richie gaze. Chandu pushes Richie inside the van,
slides the door close.
INT./EXT. CREW VAN. FLASHBACK - NIGHT
Greg stops little behind near Preeti's house. A single
detached home with a huge lawn in front.
MR. RICHIE
That's her house guys, I'm gonna go
in and bring her out, it's gonna be
a big scene, you keep the engine
running and then we are flying to
L.A.
GREG
Yeaahhhh!!
Chandu seated in front.
CHANDU
Mr. Richie wait, there are a lot of
people in, you can't go in alone.
MR. RICHIE
Oh ya, wait I know someone who will
jump off the cliff with me.
Van door slides open. Jacob with smiling face enters, sits
near Richie.
MR. JACOB
So what's the occasion?
MR. RICHIE
We are gonna kidnap my girlfriend.
MR. JACOB
What?! You said we are going to a
party.
MR. RICHIE
Ya and that house over there is our
party, now come on Jayboy let's go.
MR. JACOB
Please don't call me that.
Richie gets out of the car, howls.
MR. RICHIE
Owwwwuuu!
Richie looks at Greg.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Come on Greg!
Richie tries to open the front door, it's locked. Pulls again
hard, Greg switches off the child lock, door opens fast,
BANG, hits Richie's chest, he falls down.
CHANDU
Shit, Greg!
Greg smiles.
MR. JACOB
Is he dead?
MR. RICHIE
No, I'm not dead, oh I can't move,
it hurts--
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
10 -
Unresolved Tensions
INT. CLASS ROOM. PRESENT - EVENING
MR. RICHIE
Oh that explains the chest pain.
Chandu stares at Richie.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Sorry, please continue.
INT./EXT. FLASHBACK. CREW VAN - NIGHT
Chandu, Greg and Jacob struggles to pick Richie up, drags
him, puts him in the trunk, drives back home.
INT. PRESENT. CLASS ROOM - EVENING
MR. RICHIE
Woah woah, that's it! We didn't do
anything crazy? We just got back
home?
CHANDU
I'm done.
Chandu moves away.
MR. RICHIE
I'm sorry I can't control, you guys
were behaving weird, I thought we
did some real shit.
GREG
Yes we did.
MR. RICHIE
Then what?
Chandu looks at Jacob. Jacob gets near Richie.
INT. MR. RICHIE'S LIVING ROOM. FLASHBACK - NIGHT
Richie, on the couch surrounded by Chandu, Greg and Jacob.
MR. JACOB (V.O.)
We got back to your house and then
you cried.
Richie crying. Greg smiling, scratching his arm pits. Chandu
closes his nose.
Richie, now talking.
MR. JACOB (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Started telling your story of how
you guys first met, till meeting
her father earlier and how her
family rejected you because you are
not Indian, and you have no clue
what to do next, again cried.
Richie crying. Greg laughing. THUD. Chandu slaps Greg hard.
MR. JACOB (V.O.) (CONT'D)
And you asked us a favor, then we
proposed a plan, you agreed-
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
11 -
Tied Up in the Past
INT. CLASS ROOM. PRESENT - EVENING
Chandu sits on a desk.
MR. JACOB
-And now we are executing it.
MR. RICHIE
But you guys sounded more crazy
than that.
GREG
Yes!
MR. RICHIE
Then with all that, how did he
break his arm and you saved my
life? Where is all that part?
CHANDU
Greg broke his arm picking a fight
with a stranger for you at night,
while we were returning back home.
Ok now that's not important, we
need to focus on the future.
MR. RICHIE
Ok ok, wait, wow thank you Greg,
but the save my life part, Jacob?
MR. JACOB
It's pretty scary, we don't wanna
talk about it.
MR. RICHIE
Wow, is it? Thanks Jacob. I owe you
guys my life.
CHANDU
No you don't, ok let's concentrate
now.
MR. RICHIE
Guys, thank you for doing this-
Chandu sighs, gets up.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
I thought I was gonna lose her, but
this thing, wow man, ok now untie
me, I'll join you, fuck let's do
this together.
CHANDU
Nope.
MR. RICHIE
Come on Jacob, my savior.
MR. JACOB
Please don't say that.
CHANDU
Mr. Frank and Mr. Henry are at her
house now, Greg and I are going
there to make a distraction. We'll
untie you once we get Preeti here.
MR. RICHIE
No no, I'll come with you--
Greg, Chandu and Jacob get out of the classroom, closes the
door.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
12 -
The Plan to Rescue Preeti
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - EVENING
Chandu, Jacob and Greg, in a circle.
CHANDU
Ok, Mr. Jacob you stay with him,
don't come out, Greg got the school
keys, we'll lock the front door and
bring Preeti through the back door,
then off to L.A.
MR. JACOB
Ehh.. Chandu I think, Greg should
stay with Richie.
CHANDU
No, he's the one who can drive.
MR. JACOB
I can drive.
CHANDU
You still drive on the left side of
the road, it's U with S not U with
K.
MR. JACOB
Then you stay.
CHANDU
Who's gonna get Preeti then? What's
wrong Mr. Jacob? We are going as
per our plan right?
MR. JACOB
Ya but, I feel weird around him
about that life saving thing, it
creeps me out, it's in my head now,
let me go please?
CHANDU
Oh I get it.
GREG
That was great.
CHANDU & MR. JACOB
(Unison)
It was not!
Chandu sighs.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Ok you go get Preeti, but stick to
the plan, please don't mess it up,
I'll stay here.
MR. JACOB
Oh thank God, bye, will be back
with Preeti. Bye.
Jacob and Greg run away. Chandu waves his hand weakly, not
confident.
INT./EXT. CREW VAN. PARKING LOT - EVENING
Greg in wheels, Jacob aside.
GREG
Now let's get this son of a bitch.
MR. JACOB
Come on man, that's Richie's girl.
GREG
Oh I'm sorry, let's get this
daughter of a bitch.
Jacob sighs, Greg puts the gear, looks front. The crew van
speeds backwards.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
13 -
Fractured Plans
INT./EXT. CREW VAN. PREETI'S HOUSE FRONT - EVENING
Jacob with binoculars, looking inside the house.
MR. JACOB
I see them, lot of them, ooo wait
there is Mr. Henry, and also Mr.
Frank.
Binocular view: Mr. HENRY[54] and Mr. FRANK[54], senior
teachers in highschool, are inside Preeti's house eating and
chatting with some INDIAN MEN.
BACK TO:
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
Aren't they suppose to take her by
now, wait they are laughing.
GREG
So what do you think?
MR. JACOB
They are socializing, I've to go
and distract.
Jacob throws the binoculars behind, breathes out, Greg smiles
at Jacob.
GREG
Can brown Indians say nig*a?
Jacob squints.
MR. JACOB
Please don't talk, just give me
their house blue print.
Greg spreads the blue print, Jacob looks at it.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
Ok, change of plans. I'm not gonna
distract, Henry and Frank are
already keeping them off, so I'll
get in through the side, then to
the stairs, get Preeti out, you
pick us from the back and then
let's blast away.
GREG
No, I don't think that'll work.
MR. JACOB
Ok well then, let's do it in your
way, tell me your plan.
Greg stares. Phone rings. It's Chandu. Jacob puts it on
speaker.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
Hey Chandu.
CHANDU (V.O.)
(Over phone)
You guys there yet?
MR. JACOB
Yes. Mr. Henry and Frank are still
inside, talking. We changed the
plan, I'm getting Preeti out.
CHANDU (V.O.)
(Over phone)
No Jacob, you just distract the
family, Henry and Frank will follow
your cue, they'll get her.
GREG
Hey Chandu! I'm going in.
Greg gets out, starts to run towards Preeti's house.
CHANDU (V.O.)
(Over phone)
No no no Greg, you just stay in the
car!
MR. JACOB
He left.
CHANDU (V.O.)
(Over phone)
What?! Catch him, bring him back,
stick to the plan!
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
14 -
Unexpected Allies
EXT. PREETI'S HOUSE FRONT - EVENING
Greg reaches the house, rings the door bell. Jacob gets
there, pulls Greg back, both starts to fight, they hear door
lock getting picked, both stops fighting.
Door opens. An elderly stout Punjabi man, SHUKLA SINGH[58],
wearing a blue turban in his head, who is Preeti's uncle,
with gruff Indian accent.
SHUKLA
Who are you? What do you want?
GREG
Hey big guy, we are here to see
Preeti, we are her friends.
SHUKLA
Friends?
MR. JACOB
Ya we kind off regular patients to
her clinic, we used to bring our
dogs for treatment, we haven't seen
her in a while, so thought could
give a visit and wish her luck.
SHUKLA
(Rough tone)
So you both are friends of Preeti?
Jacob gets scared.
MR. JACOB
Yes sir we are.
SHUKLA
I'm sorry, she is not available.
Shukla gets to close the door.
GREG
This is my husband! We are married,
we like to see her and give some
tips about life after marriage.
SHUKLA
Like you two are couples?
GREG
Yes, couples.
SHUKLA
Oh wow, my apologies, please come
in.
Jacob stands pissed, Greg smiles at Jacob.
GREG
Come honey.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
15 -
The Awkward Mix-Up
INT. PREETI'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM - EVENING
Jacob and Greg get seated on the couch, surrounded by more
than 50 INDIANS staring at them.
MR. JACOB
(To Greg, in low voice)
Where is Henry and Frank? They were
right here on this couch. And where
are the stairs? I see no stairs
here.
GREG
Oh.
MR. JACOB
What oh?
GREG
I think these people are in the
wrong house.
MR. JACOB
These people are in the wrong
house? You mean, you got the blue
print wrong, you sick dumbass, oh
god.
Few PUNJABI AUNTIES sits in front of them.
PUNJABI AUNTY #1
So you both are married?
GREG
Happily everlasting.
MR. JACOB
(In low voice)
I'm gonna kill you after this.
GREG
Oh my pumpkin.
Greg lies on Jacob's shoulder. Another aunty looks at Jacob,
weirdly, he smiles awkwardly.
Shukla sits next to them. Punjabi aunties move away, other
more FAMILY MEMBERS sits down on the floor.
SHUKLA
I'm sorry, I didn't get your
beautiful name.
GREG
He's Jacob and I am Maniga(Maa-
nig*a).
MR. JACOB
You cunt.
SHUKLA
Monica?
GREG
It's ma, and with a g.
SHUKLA
Maniga.
GREG
Just one more time, with more g.
Jacob chin down, no reaction.
SHUKLA
Manigga.
GREG
So proud!
(To the family)
Now everyone! Say my name!
Indian family belts it high.
INDIAN FAMILY
Maa-nigga!
Silence. Greg looks up at the ceiling, breathes out. Jacob,
hands on his face.
SHUKLA
Very well, I'm Shukla Singh, uncle
of--
Jacob's phone rings, interrupts Shukla. Chandu's name on
display.
MR. JACOB
Pardon me, I need to take this
call.
Jacob gets up, cuts the call, puts it on mute, acts like he's
on call, walks away, finds the stairs.
Jacob eyes Greg. Then suddenly.
GREG
Let's talk sex! We do it all the
time, five times a day, you should
know.
Punjabi aunties and uncles are surprised, eyes on Greg.
GREG (CONT'D)
And I'll tell you how.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
16 -
The Chaotic Escape
INT. PREETI'S HOUSE. UPSTAIRS - EVENING
Jacob walks, opens every room, finally finds Preeti's photos
in a room.
MR. JACOB
Oh baby, Jayboy is here.
INT. UPSTAIRS ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Jacob turns around, sees a YOUNG WOMAN sleeping in bed.
MR. JACOB
Preeti.
Jacob gets his face close. The woman's eyes opens, sees
Jacob's big face, panics, screams.
Jacob shushes her, closes her mouth tight, she passes out.
Jacob's heart pumps up.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
Oh shit.
INT. PREETI HOUSE. DOWNSTAIRS - EVENING
Everyone in the house, head front, ears on Greg. An INDIAN
UNCLE drools.
GREG
(With hand signs)
I spread his leg like this and
major tom is in, he screams,
sometimes bleed.
Aunties are giggling, few UNCLES looks uncomfortable.
GREG (CONT'D)
You people should try reverse
cowgirl.
Shukla shrinks his face. Greg continues to talk.
INT. UPSTAIRS ROOM - EVENING
Jacob picks up Preeti, covers her face, carries her in his
shoulders.
INT. PREETI'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM - EVENING
Jacob carrying Preeti hides behind the wall, sees Greg still
talking, proceeds to walk. Greg notices Jacob, but didn't
realize Preeti in his shoulders.
GREG
(Points to Jacob)
Oh my poor pumpkin!
Whole crowd turns, looks at Jacob, who is with a women in his
shoulder. Jacob smiles.
Everyone gets up, now Greg realizes it, rips his shirt,
starts screaming.
GREG (CONT'D)
Run Jacob! Run!
Jacob gets out, starts running towards the van.
SHUKLA
Get him!
Everyone starts chasing Jacob, no one notices Greg. He runs
out to the back door.
Greg is blocked by a middle aged INDIAN MAN, he pushes the
Indian man down, rips his shirt off, pinches his nipples.
GREG
Die you dieee!
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
17 -
Chase and Confrontation
EXT. PREETI'S HOUSE FRONT - EVENING
Shukla and family members chase Jacob.
SHUKLA
Hey whitey! Stop!
INT./EXT. CREW VAN - EVENING
Jacob gets to the crew van puts Preeti in the back, gets
inside, hits the gas and moves fast.
MR. JACOB
Oo hoo mother fuckers!
Family members chase behind. Jacob drives on the left side of
the road, takes a turn, in the opposite side he sees a black
convertible coming against him.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
Move move you idiot!
The convertible skits to the other side, while passing Jacob
sees Mr. Henry and Mr. Frank driving the convertible, both
share a look.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
How the?
Preeti's family members stop chasing Jacob. Van speeds away.
INT.PREETI'S HOUSE DINING HALL - EVENING
Greg still pinching that Indian man's nipples.
GREG
You son of a bitch.
The Indian man cries, in Indian accent.
THE INDIAN MAN
Pinch something else! Please!
Shukla and other family members rounds behind Greg. Greg
isn't aware, still pinching. Shukla catches Greg's neck,
lifts him up.
SHUKLA
Oh your husband made a terrible
mistake, he's going to suffer and
I'm gonna make him come here for
you.
Greg laughs.
GREG
Never heard a Indian guy say cum.
Can you say pussy?
Indian men ties Greg's mouth, closes his face with a cloth.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
18 -
Tangled Deals
INT. CLASS ROOM - EVENING
Richie is still tied in the chair. Chandu sitting on a desk.
MR. RICHIE
You just called, and they agreed?
That doesn't seem right. I asked to
substitute my class, they were
demanding fifty dollars, and I only
asked Henry, but Frank was in too.
CHANDU
They are one whole package deal,
they initially asked for a hundred
thousand dollars.
MR. RICHIE
What?! Who gave the money?
CHANDU
No one, wait, did you pay fifty to
substitute?
MR. RICHIE
No, no.
CHANDU
I throwed them a new offer, said I
would give Mrs. Clarence's number
in return. One day I saw them
looking at her in a very weird,
different way.
MR. RICHIE
That tenth grade science teacher,
she's married.
CHANDU
Yep yep but not happily married.
MR. RICHIE
I saw Mrs. Clarence's husband
kissing her today morning, they
seemed happy.
CHANDU
You are so innocent Mr. Richie, I'm
talking about her bed life, have
you noticed her fingers?
MR. RICHIE
What's with her fingers?
CHANDU
Oh boy, you should check them.
Chandu and Richie hear door opening, foot steps in hallway,
Chandu walks out to check.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - EVENING
Jacob, smiling, carrying Preeti in his shoulders, comes in
through the front door. Chandu looks at him surprised.
MR. JACOB
I did it! I got her!
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
19 -
The Mix-Up
INT. CLASS ROOM - EVENING
Chandu opens the door. Jacob carrying Preeti enters.
MR. RICHIE
Oh my god, Preeti?! Get this off
me! Chandu?!
Jacob carefully places her on the floor. Richie struggles to
get out. Chandu unties Richie.
MR. JACOB
Henry and Frank chickened out-
Richie gets near Preeti, removes the cover from her face.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
-I did this alone, and she fainted-
-
MR. RICHIE
Wait, this is not Preeti.
CHANDU & MR. JACOB
(unison)
What?!
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
No no no, you gotta be kidding me.
Chandu takes a closer look.
CHANDU
Jacob, that's not her. I showed you
her picture.
MR. JACOB
I was in her room, she was
sleeping, does she have a twin?
MR. RICHIE
No she doesn't have any siblings,
this is probably her cousin.
MR. JACOB
They all look the same.
CHANDU
We are Indians dude, we are many
but not same, come on.
MR. JACOB
Oh no, I'm going to jail.
CHANDU
You are not, no one saw you right?
MR. JACOB
The whole family chased me.
CHANDU
The whole family?!
Door opens far away, foot steps in the hallway.
MR. JACOB
Oh my god it's them, they're here.
CHANDU
Ah fuck.
Chandu takes the stun gun, hides behind the door.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Jacob? Turn off the lights.
Richie and Jacob takes cover not turning off the lights. Door
opens, Chandu gets up to taze, Mr. Henry walks in.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Oh god, it's just Mr. Henry, where
you been?
MR. HENRY
Kidnapping, Richie's girlfriend.
Jacob stands up. Richie still hiding.
MR. JACOB
No! You guys didn't kidnap, I saw
you outside Preeti's house, scared
and riding your car out.
MR. HENRY
Scared? Oh ginger, are you blind?
Ok, Chandu deal's a deal, now give
me Clarence's phone number. I'll
give Richie's girlfriend.
Richie gets up.
MR. RICHIE
You got my girlfriend?
MR. HENRY
Yes of course, then why am I here,
she's with Frank in the back.
Richie sprints, pushes Henry, rushes out.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
20 -
Mistaken Identity
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL. BACK - EVENING
Richie comes out, runs towards the convertible, sees Frank
seated inside.
MR. RICHIE
Frank?! Where is my girlfriend?
MR. FRANK
Inside the trunk.
MR. RICHIE
Inside the, what are you mad?! You
put her in the trunk?! Open the
trunk!
Richie hears a muffled voice coming from the trunk, hitting
sound.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Oh my god, Preeti! This is Richie!
Stay in there babe! I'll get you!
MR. FRANK
You can't get her unless we get the
phone number.
MR. RICHIE
Open the trunk!
Mr. Henry and Jacob come out from behind.
MR. HENRY
I got the number Frank!
MR. RICHIE
Open the fucking trunk!
Frank clicks a button, trunk opens. There is a YOUNG WOMAN,
face covered. Richie removes the cover.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
What the fuck?! Who the fuck is
this?!
A DARK YOUNG INDIAN WOMAN gets up, looks pissed. Richie
unties her.
MR. JACOB
Oh my god, it's definitely jail,
I'm calling daddy.
Chandu comes out with ANJALI[25] a pretty Indian-American,
the girl whom Jacob kidnapped, looks at the other girl who is
in the trunk, walks to Mr. Henry.
CHANDU
Who is that?!
MR. FRANK
That is Richie's girlfriend.
CHANDU
No, that's not Preeti, I clearly
showed you her picture and you have
her picture dude!
Henry takes the picture out, shows it to Chandu.
MR. HENRY
That's the girl in the picture.
CHANDU
No it's not, you took the wrong
girl.
MR. FRANK
Hey don't blame us, they all look
the same.
Jacob's ears prick, stretches his hands.
CHANDU
No they don't, oh fuuuuck!
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
21 -
A Father's Resolve
EXT. PREETI'S HOUSE FRONT - EVENING
A Black SUV, car door opens BHAGAT[55] a fit Indian muscular
man with blue turban in his head, with a gruff baritone voice
to the PEOPLE standing outside.
BHAGAT
What happened?
Shukla bombs out from the house.
SHUKLA
They took your daughter! That
Richie bastard.
Shukla stands near Bhagat.
BHAGAT
When?
SHUKLA
Just now, two couples Jacob and
Manigga, said they're Preeti's
friend and stole her.
BHAGAT
Was Richie here?
SHUKLA
No, I think he sent them, I'm gonna
go get Preeti from him.
BHAGAT
No, I'll handle this alone.
SHUKLA
Alone? What nonsense? This is our
family, Preeti's our girl, we'll
get her together.
BHAGAT
No, I'll do it alone.
Bhagat turns around, Shukla stops him.
SHUKLA
Look Bhagat, I fixed this marriage
and if the groom's family finds
about it, we'll be pushed out of
the community, our family will lose
respect, do you want that to
happen?
BHAGAT
(Bites his teeth)
No.
SHUKLA
We know where they are.
Genres:
["Drama","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
22 -
Tension in the Canteen
INT. SCHOOL CANTEEN - NIGHT
Richie and Jacob hand over snacks to the abducted girls. All
are seated on a bench.
Jacob smiles at Anjali, the girl he kidnapped.
MR. JACOB
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare
you.
ANJALI
It's ok Jacob, a stranger too close
to my face, who would not be
scared?
MR. RICHIE
You went too close to her? Dude are
you sick?
MR. JACOB
It's not like what you think.
ANJALI
(To Mr. Richie)
It's exactly like what you think.
MR. JACOB
I'm sorry ok, I panicked and donno
what to do, just got out of mind.
Along with Anjali is DEEPTI[25] who Henry and Frank
Kidnapped.
MR. RICHIE
Thanks for understanding Deepti.
DEEPTI
No, thank you for getting me out, I
was like caged in there. Don't go
there, don't go here and also
farts! Everyone just smashes it out
with no limit, you can setup a
methane factory in there.
MR. JACOB
Interesting.
MR. RICHIE
So you guys are not mad at us?
DEEPTI
The tie up and the trunk, those are
the things I'm mad about. I thought
my boyfriend was kidnapping me to
get married, you know, getting out
of that house, that freedom. Wow
that would've been great.
MR. JACOB
Oh wow, where is your boyfriend?
DEEPTI
Duh, I don't have a boyfriend.
MR. JACOB
But you just said that you thought
he was kidnapping you.
DEEPTI
That's my dream, well most Indian
girl's dream. Some random guy just
pops in and say 'Oh Deepti my
Deepti, I'm your boyfriend, let's
get out of here and get married in
Paris and honeymoon in
Switzerland'. I was living it until
you confessed.
Jacob and Richie share a big look at each other.
MR. JACOB
You too thankful for us Anjali?
ANJALI
You be thankful that I didn't kick
your ass when I woke up.
MR. RICHIE
Woah.
ANJALI
Glad there was Chandu. I saw--
MR. RICHIE
Chandu? You know Chandu?
ANJALI
Ya, he is in our IDC. Indian
Diversity Club--
MR. RICHIE
Wa wa wait. Does Preeti know
Chandu?
ANJALI
Yes, Preeti and I are friends with
Kam, Chandu's sister, but we don't
hang out often.
MR. JACOB
Ah oh.
Richie gets mad, wakes up.
MR. RICHIE
Where is Chandu?
MR. JACOB
Richie, please sit down.
MR. RICHIE
Where is he?! He lied to me!
MR. JACOB
He is on a phone call.
ANJALI
Is everything fine?
Jacob nods his head in all directions.
MR. JACOB
Ahh, I think there is gonna be some
revealing.
Richie gets out. Jacob, Anjali and Deepti follow him.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
23 -
Confrontation and Alliance
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FRONT - NIGHT
Richie sees Chandu standing out, on a phone call.
MR. RICHIE
Hey Chandu!
Chandu with the phone in his ear, turns around.
CHANDU
(Over phone)
I don't know, ok call you later.
Chandu hangs up the call. Richie rages towards Chandu.
MR. RICHIE
You fuckin liar!
CHANDU
What happened?
MR. RICHIE
Oh what happened? You fuckin
happened!
CHANDU
What?
Richie picks Chandu's shirt in anger.
MR. RICHIE
(Yells)
You lied to me about Preeti, you
know her really well and you said I
cried about her. I know I didn't
cry, you lied! Liar!
CHANDU
Mr. Richie please take your hand
off my shirt, I'll explain.
MR. RICHIE
What you gonna explain? The truth?
MR. JACOB
Yes we know about Preeti before
last night!
Richie leaves Chandu's shirt, gets to Jacob.
MR. RICHIE
What? You too lied to me and who is
we?
CHANDU
Yes we lied!
MR. RICHIE
Oh yes you lied, what else are you
hiding? Where is Preeti? And you
Jacob, how many people know about
this? The whole school or the whole
fuckin New York!
CHANDU
Mr. Richie, please calm down.
MR. RICHIE
(Yells and shouts)
Calm down?! You dragged me into
this shit, my life was going
perfectly fine, I was working on
with Preeti really well, you guys
came and lied, why?! And you
fucking tazed me. And out of blue
why are you helping me?
(MORE)
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
What are you hiding Chandu?! Tell
me the fucking truth you idiot!
Chandu bites his teeth, burst out.
CHANDU
(Yells)
Oh you are a fucking retarded adult
diaper poop, who doesn't have the
balls to fight for his girlfriend!
You pussy dark butt mouth!
Richie bites his teeth, rages.
MR. RICHIE
You motherfucker!
Jacob holds Richie tight, Richie tries to jump to escape, but
couldn't.
ANJALI
Ok ok. Calm down!
Richie still jumps.
ANJALI (CONT'D)
He is clearly holding you tight.
What is jumping's going to do?
Atleast hit him in the abdomen, or
bend down and throw him to the
floor and punch him in the face.
Mr. Jacob's nods no.
MR. JACOB
No no Richie! Please let us
explain, he's just a kid. Come on.
Mr. Richie stops jumping.
CHANDU
I'm sorry for that, I lost my cool.
We care about you, but you do not.
Jacob releases his hold, but grabs his hand tight. Others
relax.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
The truth is, you were not working
really well with Preeti. When you
came to know Preeti is getting
married you were acting out cool,
but inside you were clueless needed
help and don't know what to do and
who to ask. You know why?
(MORE)
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Cuz you were afraid to ask,
thinking no one will help you. You
never talked or cared about others.
You are selfish, you don't know me,
Greg or Jacob.
(Looks around)
Where the fuck is Greg?
Jacob eyes pops out.
MR. JACOB
Ooohh god.
CHANDU
You know anything about me Mr.
Richie? No, you don't. Is it my
fault or yours? You only talk about
school or if you have wifi
problems. You know anything about
Jacob? Do you know we hangout with
other students in his apartment
have karaoke nights? We invited you
too but you never showed up. Do you
even know he's a member of royal
family or even his real name?
Richie looks at Jacob in shock. Deepti gets near him, holds
his hand, Jacob removes her hold.
MR. JACOB
Richie, we are sorry, yes we lied
to you, but that was for a good
cause ok? The truth is, Chandu and
Preeti planned this kidnap, but
everything flipped, we are just
helping to execute and we are not
going to stop until we get Preeti.
Alright?
MR. RICHIE
Preeti planned this?
CHANDU
Yes, Preeti planned this, but we
are doing it only for you, Mr.
Richard Hendricks Walker, ya I know
your middle name and last name.
DEEPTI
It's not Richie Rich?
MR. RICHIE
It's Richard Hendricks Walker, my
father is--
CHANDU
A big fan of Jimi Hendrix.
MR. RICHIE
I know Preeti for more than seven
years, but she had never mentioned
about you.
CHANDU
Did you ask her? Even if she had
told you, would you care? You don't
care about others, you never had.
But we do, as a teacher, as a
colleague and ya even as a friend,
but do you see us in that way. You
wanna know why we are doing this?
Cuz Preeti manned up and asked me.
And also she was worried that you
may give up on her.
Richie, misty-eyes hugs Chandu.
MR. RICHIE
I don't know, I'm sorry man, I
thought you were crashing in and
I.. I was confused and.. Still
confused.
Jacob walks near Richie, he pulls him in for a hug.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
So you are a prince?
MR. JACOB
Not really.
MR. RICHIE
Princess?
MR. JACOB
I'll tell you after you get
married.
CHANDU
Mr. Richie I can't breathe.
Richie frees them.
MR. RICHIE
Oh I'm sorry, so you and Preeti
planned this?
CHANDU
Yes, promise me one thing, Preeti
wanted to do this without your
knowledge, it should go like you
made all the plans, that's why we
lied and yes, we drugged you, I'm
sorry for that, I already broke
Preeti's promise, I hope you won't,
just work this out as your plan.
MR. RICHIE
Ok I promise, and if this is
Preeti's plan then where is she?
And why kidnapping?
CHANDU
That's cuz of her family and her
uncle, you met him right?
MR. RICHIE
Oh ya, ok I get it. So you know
everything about us?
CHANDU
We don't have much time to talk--
MR. JACOB
Richie please, Chandu now where is
Preeti?
CHANDU
I don't know, she was supposed to
be at her house, but she's not,
maybe her uncle hid her somewhere.
Ok now, Mr. Richie and I go search
for Preeti, and Jacob, you take the
girls back to Preeti's house.
Chandu takes out a car key, hands it over to Jacob.
MR. JACOB
Is this Mr. Henry's car? How did
you get this?
CHANDU
I gave them Ms. Helen's number.
MR. RICHIE
Phone number for a car, what is
this trade? She's too not happily
married?
CHANDU
She is not at all married. I just
convinced them and made a deal.
Just get them home safe Jacob.
Jacob nods yes.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
After you drop them, be at your
apartment and wait for us, we'll
come back with Preeti and then
we'll leave.
MR. JACOB
Ok let's do this.
MR. RICHIE
Yes let's do this!
Eye of the tiger. Richie, Jacob and Chandu puts their hands
together, raise up.
MR. JACOB
We fear no evil!
Anjali yells from the door.
ANJALI
Ok ya, cool, there are cars coming.
Jacob panics.
MR. JACOB
Oh shit shit, it's them, oh my god.
Lot of SUVs enters the school.
CHANDU
Oh my Indian hairs.
MR. RICHIE
We fight?
CHANDU
Hide, hide, hide.
Richie, Chandu, Jacob, Anjali and Deepti runs inside the
school. Locks the main door from inside, looks out through
the glass.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
24 -
Hostage Tensions in the Hallway
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - NIGHT
Chandu, Richie and Jacob seated like ducks. Anjali and Deepti
standing, car lights hits their face.
CHANDU
Ok Jacob, you leave now. If they
try to stop you, just honk and hit
the gas. And always drive to the
right.
MR. JACOB
Got it, and you guys?
CHANDU
We are gonna take Greg's crew van,
you leave now, Go!
MR. JACOB
Be safe.
Jacob and the girls leave.
EXT. HIGHSCHOOL FRONT - CONTINUOUS
All the SUVS stops, many INDIAN SINGHS, UNCLES are there.
Shukla gets out with a megaphone.
SHUKLA
(In megaphone)
Jacob?! We know you are in there,
handover Preeti to us and we'll
leave, don't make us come in.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Richie looks at Chandu.
MR. RICHIE
Seriously, where is Preeti?
CHANDU
No no, what? Her uncle didn't hide
her, she's somewhere out, but they
think we have her, for now Anjali
is Preeti--
Jacob from behind.
MR. JACOB
Guys!
Richie and Chandu startle.
MR. RICHIE
Holy shit! You didn't leave?
MR. JACOB
I heard my name and also came here
to give the stun gun.
EXT. HIGHSCHOOL FRONT - CONTINUOUS
SHUKLA
(In Megaphone)
Jacob?! We have your wife,
Maanigga!
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
CHANDU
You have a wife?
MR. RICHIE
My nigga? Where in the world they
think they are?
Chandu looks baffled.
EXT. HIGHSCHOOL FRONT - CONTINUOUS
Two Indian men brings out Greg who is shirtless, mouth and
hands tied.
SHUKLA
(In megaphone)
Hey Jacob? Look at Maanigga.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
25 -
Tension in the Hallway
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - NIGHT
Richie looks out through the glass.
MR. RICHIE
What is happening in the name of
nigga?
MR. JACOB
It's a long story.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FRONT - NIGHT
SHUKLA
(In megaphone)
If you don't come out with Preeti,
I'm going to hurt Maanigga.
Jacob shouts from inside.
MR. JACOB (O.S.)
He is not Manigga you sicko!
SHUKLA
(In megaphone)
Oh, so Maanigga didn't lie, you are
here.
MR. JACOB (O.S.)
You cock sucker!
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - NIGHT
Richie stares at Jacob.
MR. JACOB
It's Monica with more G. I'm sorry.
CHANDU
(To Jacob)
You just leave, we'll take care.
Jacob looking terrified, departs.
MR. RICHIE
We'll save your nigga Jay.
CHANDU
Really?
MR. RICHIE
I'm sorry, ok now how are we gonna
save him?
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
26 -
The Price of Toughness
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FRONT - NIGHT
Shukla turns behind, raises his hands, a GIANT INDIAN MAN
comes forward, stands near Greg.
SHUKLA
(In megaphone)
If you don't hand over Preeti, your
wife suffers.
Two Indian men unties Greg, catch each of his hand, Shukla
nods to the giant Indian man.
GREG
Don't worry Jacob! I can handle
this, I have been through nipple
pinching, and more BDSM shits, I
can take it.
SHUKLA
One!
The giant man stretches his hand to the top, Greg now
realizes it's not nipple pinching.
GREG
Wait!
The giant Indian man with force, THUD, slaps on Greg's chest.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - NIGHT
Chandu's and Richie's eyes close- Oooo..
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FRONT - NIGHT
Greg jumps in pain.
GREG
Ahhhhhhh, Jacob help me!
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
27 -
Tension in the Hallway
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - NIGHT
MR. RICHIE
This is not good, I'm going out.
CHANDU
No no no no--
MR. RICHIE
I'm gonna go--
Richie gets up, Chandu pulls him down.
CHANDU
Wait, they don't know we are here,
if Jacob leaves they'll leave, we
can get out.
MR. RICHIE
So Jacob's a bait?
CHANDU
He is a diversion, they won't hurt
him, he has Anjali, daughter of
that loud Shukla.
MR. RICHIE
Oh good lord, Anjali, he's going to
kill us all.
SHUKLA (O.C.)
(On megaphone)
Two!
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FRONT - CONTINUOUS
The Indian giant man raises his hand, Greg jumps.
GREG
(Shouts)
Jacob you little goose come out!
Door opens, Richie walks out. Chandu on the floor, shaking.
SHUKLA
Richie! You bastard.
MR. RICHIE
Send him here and I'll send Preeti.
SHUKLA
No, give us Preeti and I'll leave
him.
GREG
Send her Richie!
SHUKLA
Preeti! Come out!
The giant Indian man slaps on Greg's chest. Greg cries loudly
in pain.
MR. RICHIE
Oh shit!
Richie turns back, sees Chandu on the floor, shivering.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Huge mistake, I'm sorry.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Thriller"]
Ratings
Scene
28 -
Chaos and Defiance
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - NIGHT
Chandu, tazed by Richie, shaking, his mouth dances.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FRONT - NIGHT
Shukla, in his toes.
SHUKLA
Preeti?!
MR. RICHIE
We don't have Preeti--
Far away, an Indian dance folk song plays loud. All Indian
men tilt their head sideways.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL. BACK - CONTINUOUS
The convertible singing the song loud. Jacob bangs the
dashboard, not turning off. Anjali ears closed. Deepti
dancing.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FRONT - CONTINUOUS
With loud music, Jacob drives the convertible out fast
through the sideway.
Anjali covers her face. Deepti dancing in the back, showing
her middle finger, yells.
DEEPTI
Fuck you bitches!
Shukla turns around.
SHUKLA
Preeti! And Deepti?
Few Indian men get to their cars, starts chasing them.
Richie takes the stun gun, turns up the level to high, tazes
the giant Indian man.
Greg gets out of hold from the two Indian men, catches their
crotch, squeezes it.
GREG
Pain! Pain! Pain!
Shukla turns back, sees two Indian men down, Greg and Richie
running away.
SHUKLA
They are escaping, you fools!
Few Shukla's men chases Richie and Greg.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
29 -
Nipple Pinch Panic
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - NIGHT
Greg and Richie get inside, holds the door close, the Indian
men pushes the door. Richie and Greg face turn red,
struggles.
MR. RICHIE
I can't hold it. Chandu?!
Greg moans sexually.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
You sicko!
Chandu slowly gets up, strolls near them, the door bombs
open, throws them all away.
Shukla walks towards them. Richie, Chandu and Greg crawl
backwards.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Oh boy.
GREG
They have a weakness, their
nipples, pinch them.
MR. RICHIE
No fucking shit.
Shukla gets near them, squat sits in front, smiles.
SHUKLA
What are you going to do now?
GREG
Pain!
Greg quickly grabs Shukla's shirt, rips it. Chandu, lying
down weak. Richie sighs.
MR. RICHIE
Fuck it.
Richie starts pinching Shukla's nipple. Shukla opens his
mouth, pin drop silence.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Is he in pain?
GREG
I don't know.
(To Shukla)
Are you in pain?
Shukla tears.
MR. RICHIE
Oh he's definitely in pain.
Other Indian men tries to get near, Richie yells.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
I'll take his nipples off, he'll be
nipple-less!
GREG
And we'll eat them.
MR. RICHIE
No!
Car light flashes, Richie squints. A silhouette appears,
Bhagat walks in.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
You. I'm gonna bring hell.
Richie releases his hand, takes the stun gun, runs, but trips
and fall by Chandu's leg.
GREG
Haha, idiot.
Shukla catches Greg, pinches his nipples. Greg screams,
dances in pain.
GREG (CONT'D)
Ahh, no no no, he is the one who
pinched you.
Chandu gets the stun gun, brings towards Shukla.
SHUKLA
Chandu boy?
GREG
kill him with that, shoot him!
Chandu tries to taze, but Shukla catches him, tazes Chandu
back.
Chandu shivers, passes out.
Shukla tazes Greg. Richie tries to get up.
SHUKLA
You sick son of a bitch, you'll
never get her.
Bhagat struggles to get past the Indians. Richie looks at
Bhagat coming towards him.
MR. RICHIE
I hate you.
Shukla tazes Richie, all three are passed out. Shukla looks
at Bhagat.
SHUKLA
We found Preeti, I'll bring her
home.
Bhagat pushes the other Indians, gets near Shukla.
SHUKLA (CONT'D)
I know what to do with them.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
30 -
Chase Under the Stars
INT./EXT. CONVERTIBLE - NIGHT
Loud music still on, Jacob parks the car in Preeti's house
backyard.
MR. JACOB
Here we are! Safe and sound!
ANJALI
Only sound! I'm going deaf!
Deepti smiling, sees her house, loses her smile.
DEEPTI
Oh this place?! Can you drive
again?!
Jacob nods no. Deepti gets out of the car, turns off the
music in her phone, dead silence, walks without saying
anything.
MR. JACOB
Mother fucker bluetooth.
Jacob turns his head. Anjali doesn't move a muscle.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
Ok this is where we say goodbye.
ANJALI
I'm coming with you.
MR. JACOB
What?
ANJALI
I don't belong there.
MR. JACOB
Ok you don't belong there? I don't
belong there either. Look I need to
go, people are waiting for me--
ANJALI
I know where Preeti is.
MR. JACOB
Where is she?
ANJALI
I'll not tell unless you take me
with you.
MR. JACOB
No I can't--
Anjali looks at the side mirror sees more cars coming behind.
ANJALI
Shit!
Jacob panics, puts on the gear to move.
ANJALI (CONT'D)
Wait, I'll drive.
MR. JACOB
No--
Anjali gets up to driver seat, sits on Jacob's lap.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
What are you doing?
ANJALI
I'll drive and take you to Preeti.
Jacob sees the mirror, SUVS are nearing close.
ANJALI (CONT'D)
Just push the gas!
Jacob pushes the gas, Anjali steers the car, they speed them
out, chase is on.
ANJALI (CONT'D)
Brakes!
Jacob hits the brakes, car skits to the left.
ANJALI (CONT'D)
Now gas!
Jacob pushes the gas, looks at Anjali and the mirror in
terror.
MR. JACOB
Oh my god, what am I doing?
ANJALI
Push it hard dude!
Jacob pushes the gas hard.
ANJALI (CONT'D)
Let's show them who we are.
Anjali skits the car and stops, engine wrooms.
ANJALI (CONT'D)
So where do you wanna go?
MR. JACOB
You said you know where Preeti is.
ANJALI
Yes, but first we need to get to a
safe place, away from them and then
to Preeti.
MR. JACOB
Oh well then we need to get to my
apartment.
ANJALI
Ok hold on to me.
SUVS come towards them, Jacob hugs Anjali tight, closes his
eyes.
Genres:
["Action","Thriller","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
31 -
Chandu's Surreal Dance of Confusion
EXT. A MYSTERIOUS WHITE VOID - HALLUCINATION
Bright lights, white floor. Chandu laying down, eyes closed,
naked. Barbie girl playing far away. Chandu's eyes opens,
gets up.
A geometric triangle mirror appears in front. Song is now
loud and clear.
Chandu touches the mirror, it bounces like mercury. He taps
it again, smiles.
Chandu gets closer, sees his face in the mirror, Greg's face
suddenly pops out, grabs Chandu's neck, pulls him in.
EXT. COLORFUL PORTAL - HALLUCINATION
Chandu falls down in a never ending cartoon hole, with
floating heads of Greg, Jacob and Richie, all with mustache,
singing Barbie girl.
Chandu is suddenly sucked up. He gets scared.
EXT. A MYSTERIOUS WHITE VOID - HALLUCINATION
Chandu falls out of the triangle, song stops. He sits up,
infront he sees Greg, Jacob and Richie naked, hands on to
each other's hip.
CHANDU
Wow. No pubic hairs. Turn around
show me your ass.
They all turn around, without releasing their hold.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Wow. No ass hair. You guys are soft
like a bread loaf.
They all turn back, again without releasing the hold.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Are you guys alright?
Silence. All at once, Richie, Jacob and Greg, straight face,
start to dance the hook step from RRR- Naatu naatu song.
Chandu smiles, impressed, claps. Naked Shukla joins them from
behind. All four doing that hook step flawlessly.
Now Chandu gets suspicious, looks around, sees those four
dancing everywhere, gets up.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Fuck.
Chandu breathes hard, closes his eyes and opens, still sees
them dancing, they circle around, doing the same step.
Chandu starts to hit himself, punches his balls, but nothing
happens.
Chandu looks at his hairy balls, bites his teeth, pulls one
of his ball hair.
Genres:
["Comedy","Surreal"]
Ratings
Scene
32 -
Naked Chaos in Times Square
EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT
Chandu screaming- ahh, standing naked, shedding tears, looks
at his hand, a lot of hairs. Vomits.
Chandu looks up, sees a happy naked HOMELESS guy in the
middle, to the left and right are Greg and Richie
respectively, holding on to each other's dick and dancing
imperfectly.
No sign of Jacob, but far away another naked HAIRY HOMELESS
guy sprinting off.
Chandu sighs, runs and jumps on them. Greg and Richie fall
down, this homeless guy runs away too.
Chandu slowly rolls out, Richie and Greg lay down in shock.
CHANDU
You guys nailed it.
GREG
Richie? You squeezed my dick hard.
MR. RICHIE
No fucking way.
CHANDU
That was not Richie. He was holding
the homeless guy's dick.
Richie wakes up seated, shock.
MR. RICHIE
No! No! No! Nooo!
Richie smells his hand, vomits.
GREG
It was amazing.
CHANDU
What the fuck was that?
GREG
That was a high dose of mescaline.
MR. RICHIE
Fuck my hands.
Richie tears. Chandu gets up, stumbles towards a dumpster.
Lays down. Greg eyes on Chandu's private area.
GREG
Wow, are your balls the two
thousand and sixteen Harry Styles?
Long hair don't care, what are you
trying to accomplish with your
hairy balls Chandu? Oscars? hahaha.
Unshavable?
Chandu with a waste wrapper covers his private area.
CHANDU
Did they birthed you or did they
pooped you?
GREG
My dad loved the fifth base. Who
knows? Maybe.
MR. RICHIE
Where are we?
CHANDU
Some alley.
MR. RICHIE
What's the time?
CHANDU
I don't know.
Richie spreads his legs wide, sees Greg smiling at him.
Richie crosses his leg.
GREG
Hello Mr. Small--
MR. RICHIE
No, no no. Shut up!
Richie quiver his head, eyes pops out.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Oh no, Preeti. We need to move.
Richie and Greg get up. Chandu seated, tired. Greg spreads
his leg, his balls are black.
CHANDU
Heehee. Are your balls the nineteen
eighty two Michael Jackson? Why are
your balls black?
Richie squints at Greg's balls.
MR. RICHIE
Holy nigga!
GREG
I'm four percent n*gga.
Richie's eyes are focused on Greg's balls.
GREG (CONT'D)
My great grandfather had a lot of
mistress. Some eumelanin loved my
balls.
CHANDU
Can you moonwalk?
Richie straight face at Chandu.
MR. RICHIE
Really?
CHANDU
It's the drugs.
GREG
Chandu? I'll show you something
better.
Greg bends down, touches his own balls with his tongue.
Richie gags.
CHANDU
Wow, man can suck is own sack. This
is how you got the n-word pass?
Greg relaxes, nods yes.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Ahaan.
GREG
It was a fun day.
MR. RICHIE
Fun?! You dipshit! We got drugged,
you got banged by a giant dude and
I touched a man's nipple.
CHANDU
And a dick.
GREG
Cool right?
MR. RICHIE
No shit, you bitch!
GREG
Hey Chandu, how about you?
CHANDU
Oh man, this will be a good story
to tell what I did in high school,
I just don't want to fail.
MR. RICHIE
We are not gonna fail, now get up,
we are going to get my girl and--
Richie vomits near Greg. Greg moves away.
GREG
Shit, dude.
CHANDU
Oh God.
Chandu gets up.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Are you ok?
MR. RICHIE
ya I'm fine.
Richie wipes his mouth, starts walking.
GREG
(To Chandu)
He is stage one pregnant.
Chandu sighs, doesn't answer, follows Richie.
Chandu, Greg and Richie sees the main road. Cars and
PEDESTRIANS.
CHANDU
Oh fuck! People.
GREG
It's New York, no one cares.
CHANDU
I hate this.
GREG
This is an one time opportunity.
MR. RICHIE
Opportunity?! For what? Being you?
CHANDU
Shit! We are in Times Square, more
humans. Ahhh!
MR. RICHIE
We have to run really fast, no one
will notice, don't look back, we
need to get to where?
CHANDU
Jacob's apartment.
MR. RICHIE
Ok, Chandu lead the way.
CHANDU
Nope!
Greg starts to run, Chandu grunts, Richie joins Greg. All
three runs showing their butt.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
oh fuck you Greg!
Greg turns right, Chandu and Richie turn to the left. Greg
follows back, joins them.
GREG
Guys my balls hurt!
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
33 -
Frantic Escape in Times Square
EXT. TIMES SQUARE NY - NIGHT
Chandu, Richie and Greg are running through a crowded
platform.
MR. RICHIE
We should get to the road.
CHANDU
No way.
MR. RICHIE
At least we'll be fast.
CHANDU
Ah dammit!
All three runs in the middle of the road, in between cars,
whole Times Square sees them.
GREG
Concrete jungle!
They cut to another road, a POLICE WOMAN notices them.
MR. RICHIE
Shit! Turn back!
Richie stops. Greg slams on Richie from behind. Chandu turns,
starts to run in the opposite direction, followed by Richie
and Greg.
CHANDU
Did they see us?
Cop siren comes up. A police woman starts to chase them on
foot.
POLICE WOMAN
Hey hey, stop right there!
MR. RICHIE
Yep they saw!
Chandu runs fast leading the way, followed by Richie, then
Greg and the cop.
Chandu stops in the middle of the road, looks back for Richie
and Greg, to his side he sees one car standing in red-light,
covers his private area with his hands.
CHANDU
Kill me.
Genres:
["Action","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
34 -
A Night of Surprises
INT./EXT. CHANDU'S DAD CAR - NIGHT
Nagesh, on wheels staring, Sundari in front busy on her
phone, behind is Kam and also Preeti, eyes out, looking at
him. Chandu sees Preeti.
Sundari realizes green light is on.
SUNDARI
(To Nagesh)
Move, why are you looking at the
roaooo--
Sundari sees Chandu standing out, closes her eyes.
SUNDARI (CONT'D)
Please tell me that's not our son.
NAGESH
Oh that is our product.
(Looks back)
Hey we found them.
Kam clicks a picture of Chandu. Preeti just straight face.
KAM
Oh bro, you are so dead, blackmail
for a new phone.
Richie runs past, slaps Chandu's butt, he didn't notice the
car.
MR. RICHIE
Lead!
Preeti sees Richie running.
PREETI
Oh my god, Richie!
Richie runs away, Chandu waves bye, Nagesh waves back, he
starts to run, followed by Greg.
GREG
My Baaallls!
All looking shocked, awkward silence.
PREETI
What is happening?
NAGESH
He has my eyes, your ears, but
those hairs?
Nagesh eyes on Sundari.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
35 -
Nostalgia and Consequences
EXT. CENTRAL PARK ROAD - NIGHT
Richie, Chandu and Greg still running.
MR. RICHIE
How far?
CHANDU
Just a few meters.
SIREN. A cop car jumps out from no where, blocks their way.
All freezes, two COPS comes out of the car.
POLICE WOMAN
Hey hey, don't run, just stay right
there, we don't want to hurt you.
CHANDU
Ok ok.
POLICE MAN
Richie?
A cop recognizes Richie, but he looks puzzled.
POLICE MAN (CONT'D)
Richie it's me, your friend from
high school, remember Meth Vaders?
BILL(32), lean, big mustache, Richie's old friend.
MR. RICHIE
Oh shit Bill?! Yes, how the fuck
are you dude?
GREG
Oh Bill.
BILL
Gregory Cunt! You still alive?
CHANDU
Cunt is your surname for real?
Greg proudly nods, yes.
GREG
We are the Cunt family, from
Charles Cunt to Thomas Cunt and me,
Gregory Cunt. They call me the
Cunt-man. We are related to the
Clintons.
Greg smiles, others ignore him.
MR. RICHIE
So, you're a cop now? Cool man, I
don't know you were in town.
BILL
I never left Richie. So what are
you now? A drug lord?
CHANDU
That's a huge word.
MR. RICHIE
I'm a teacher at an high School.
BILL
No kidding, like Walter White?
MR. RICHIE
Nah, the regular ones.
BILL
Regular ones? Wow, what happened?
MR. RICHIE
Life is crazy you know.
BILL
Ya, I can see that.
GREG
I missed you Bill.
Greg walks towards the cops. Bill blocks, throws him down to
the floor, hand cuffs him.
MR. RICHIE
That was some cool police stuff.
BILL
Now you two get in the car, you
guys are under arrest.
MR. RICHIE
What?! No, look I can explain.
BILL
Han han, no no. This is my job, get
in the car.
CHANDU
Let's get in.
Chandu pushes Richie inside the car.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Crime"]
Ratings
Scene
36 -
Naked Truths in the Holding Cell
INT. NEW YORK POLICE PRECINCT - MOMENTS LATER
Bill gives them towels to cover their body.
BILL
Here you go soft and tidy.
CHANDU
Thank you Mr. Bill.
BILL
Do I know you?
CHANDU
Nope.
Chandu and Richie ties the towel around their waist. Greg
wraps it around his shoulders, walks naked.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Cover what should be covered Greg.
GREG
It's cold!
Richie sighs. Bill opens a glass door, takes them in to a
temporary holding cell.
INT. NEW YORK POLICE PRECINCT. CELL - NIGHT
Bill puts all the three inside, locks it.
MR. RICHIE
What are you doing man?
BILL
I'm arresting pervs.
MR. RICHIE
We are not pervs.
BILL
You were naked in public, those
poor Chinese tourist have to
witness your butt's dangling. Now
they are gonna duplicate it, you
have shown them a very sensitive
information Richie, poor
Kardashians.
Chandu sits down, looks through the bars. Greg stands,
pushing his belly into the bars.
MR. RICHIE
Hey look, we lost touch ok, I get
it, but I'm still your friend, and
friends help.
BILL
Ok then help me with this, tell me
why were you running naked?
GREG
I need to speak to my lawyer.
BILL
Your lawyer? Do you see that weird
Girl behind?
An ugly drawing of a weird girl in the wall, Greg turns
around, sees it.
BILL (CONT'D)
That's your lawyer, talk to her.
MR. RICHIE
Look man, I'm in deep trouble, my
girlfriend is getting arranged
married this week, she doesn't like
it, we are just trying to save her
from that wedding ok?
BILL
How does that work running naked?
GREG
We tried kidnapping her and--
CHANDU
Dude!
BILL
kidnapping? Oh my god if it really
is, I'm getting a promotion.
MR. RICHIE
He's out of his mind.
BILL
So Greg, did you kidnap her?
MR. RICHIE
Please don't answer that.
GREG
No no didn't kidnap her, we don't
know where she is.
BILL
Ok, I believe you. I'll leave you
now, do you guys need anything?
MR. RICHIE
I need my girlfriend.
CHANDU
I need water.
BILL
I like him.
GREG
I need to pee.
Bill departs. Richie slams the bar.
MR. RICHIE
Fuck man! We used to be pals,
fuckin time got us apart, wish I
was in touch.
GREG
She's gorgeous.
Chandu and Richie turns toward Greg. Greg drools at the
drawing.
MR. RICHIE
(To Greg)
How do you know Bill?
GREG
I used to supply him roofies and
condoms.
CHANDU
Condoms? Isn't that legally and
easily available?
MR. RICHIE
He still do drugs?
GREG
I don't know, while I was in high
school, I used to stuff drugs
inside my butt and--
CHANDU
Ok that's enough, just look at that
girl in the wall.
GREG
I'm already doing her.
CHANDU
Ohhk.
MR. RICHIE
Wonder what poor Jacob is doing?
Genres:
["Comedy","Crime","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
37 -
Rescue Plans and Wedding Dreams
INT. MR. JACOB'S HUGE APARTMENT - NIGHT
Door opens. Jacob and Anjali, kissing wildly, enters. He
removes his shirt, puts her on the tile floor.
ANJALI
I'm with a Royal family member.
MR. JACOB
Oh ya, you're gonna enjoy my ride.
Jacob goes down to the town. Anjali silently moans.
INT. NEWYORK POLICE PRECINCT. CELL - NIGHT
CHANDU
Oh poor Jacob.
Bill walks in, hands over a water bottle to Chandu.
BILL
Hey Chandu guy, finish the water
and give the empty bottle to Greg.
GREG
I need a bigger bottle.
MR. RICHIE
Oh no you are not gonna pee in
here.
Greg turns around.
GREG
Look at my bladder it's getting
big.
Greg rubs his bladder.
CHANDU
Ahh! Wrap the fucking towel around
your waist dude.
BILL
I missed you Richie, those days--
MR. RICHIE
I wish I never met you man.
BILL
Wow, what did I do?
MR. RICHIE
You arrested your best friend and
put him in lock up, come on man who
does that? 'A friend in need is a
friend indeed'.
BILL
Ya, I know, but see, I have to
work, I can't break rules.
GREG
(Yells)
Chandu?! Drink the fucking water!
Chandu drinks it fully, gives it to Greg. Greg gets to the
corner, pees into the bottle.
BILL
Oh boy.
CHANDU
Slow down dude.
MR. RICHIE
Hey Bill, you know we used to break
rules remember? We skipped classes
and went to strip clubs with fake
Id's, got real high, where did that
Bill go?
GREG
I need another bottle.
MR. RICHIE
No, just shut it.
GREG
I can't, please.
CHANDU
Look at that girl.
Greg looks at the girl, stops peeing.
MR. RICHIE
Wow, intresting.
Greg turns around.
GREG
It's the boner.
MR. RICHIE
You should be somewhere, turn back
to your girl.
BILL
I wish I could help you but I
can't, we were best friends like
once upon a time, but now I'm a cop
and you are a perv.
MR. RICHIE
I'm not a perv.
Chandu thinks of something, gets up with confident.
CHANDU
Mr. Richie leave him, just ask some
other person to be your best man.
BILL
Best man? You were going to ask me
to be your best man?
Richie stutters, Chandu nods to play along.
MR. RICHIE
Ya ya, I was gonna ask you but--
BILL
You don't even know I was in town.
CHANDU
We know. Mr. Richie and I planned
it in a different way to surprise
you.
BILL
Hell yeah, you surprised me with
your hairy balls. Hey I'm a cop ok?
I can read people, your thing
doesn't work on me.
CHANDU
I can prove you, and there's only
way we can find out.
BILL
I'm not gonna let you out.
Chandu sighs.
MR. RICHIE
I'm inviting you to my wedding.
BILL
What? Ok I'll be there. Now I'm
leaving.
Richie gets down on one knee.
MR. RICHIE
Bill? Will you be my best man?
Silence. Richie's towel falls down loose. Bill doesn't react.
Greg gets excited.
BILL
Really dude?
MR. RICHIE
Look man, you helped me get
addicted to drugs, I loved it, it
was horrible, but you know what's
the real reason behind my happiness
and laughter, it was not the drugs,
it was you. You were by my side,
and I want you to be my side when
I'm getting married.
Greg cries, hugs Richie from behind.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Move you pig!
CHANDU
Come on Cunt, hug her, she needs
you more.
Greg gets off Richie, french kisses the wall.
MR. RICHIE
Hey Bill? Will you be my best man?
Bill with tears in his eyes.
BILL
Hundred times yes, I will, I will
be your best man.
GREG
(Excited)
He said yes! Wooo, let's fuck each
other!
BILL
I'm gonna plan your wedding real
hard man, where is the venue?
CHANDU
In L.A, saturday eve. At his
parent's beach house.
Richie looks at Chandu, turns back.
BILL
Good choice Richie, I love that
house. Ok first your bachelor
party, I'm gonna bring Obama.
CHANDU
Actually first we need to bring the
bride.
BILL
What? Oh ya, arranged marriage
girl, I get it I get it. Ok I'm
your best man, what should I do?
MR. RICHIE
We need to save the bride from her
family and take her to L.A by
tonight.
CHANDU
Jacob's apartment.
MR. RICHIE
Oh no ya, Jacob's apartment.
BILL
Who's Jacob?
GREG
My husband.
Richie and Chandu share a look.
BILL
Wow. Ok I'll go get her.
MR. RICHIE
Ya let's all go, open up.
BILL
No I'm going alone, this is a best
man's job, you guys stay here, I
don't want your hands get dirty.
MR. RICHIE
Come on man, you don't know Preeti,
you need us.
BILL
Tell me, how does she look? Tall?
Short? Mole? Scars? Zodiac sign?
Bra size? My third eye is open, can
take anyone with these details, now
tell me--
MR. RICHIE
You are not gonna leave us out,
aren't you?
BILL
Sure I will, once I bring your GF
here, we all leave to L.A for the
big day.
CHANDU
Ok you go get her alone, at least
get us out of this cell, we'll stay
in the hall under your partner's
supervision and also we need some
clothes, can you please arrange?
BILL
I like him. Ok you can stay in the
hall, I'll get you guys clothes.
What you guys want? Armani? Ralph
Lauren? Louis Vuitton? H and M?
GREG
Guys? I lost my erection I need to
pee.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
38 -
Fashion Follies and Friendship
INT. NEWYORK POLICE PRECINCT EVIDENCE ROOM - NIGHT
Bill takes them out to a room, gives them a box full of
clothes named "EVIDENCE".
MR. RICHIE
Are you sure we can use this?
BILL
Yes, it's really old and solved
cases. One might be wearing a
rapist or a cannibal or a
pedophile.
Chandu wears a oversized white shirt with blood stain on it
and a black pant, tightens the belt. Richie wears a black
catholic cassock.
Greg is wearing a woman's half red T-shirt, his belly button
can be seen and wears a long white skirt. Richie looks at
Greg.
MR. RICHIE
Are you kidding! You are not
wearing that.
GREG
I love red and I make my own
decisions, you are not my daddy!
MR. RICHIE
Definitely not your daddy. You one
big pig.
Richie walks towards Bill.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
(To Bill)
Hey, thanks mate.
BILL
Anything for you man.
Richie takes Bill private.
MR. RICHIE
You have an instagram account?
BILL
Ya I have.
MR. RICHIE
I need you to search
preeti_cutie92.
Bill takes his phone, types, clicks on the account.
BILL
Oh mama, she is one hot chick, big
Bill is active, you don't have to
do this for me.
MR. RICHIE
No dude, that's my girlfriend.
BILL
Oh ya ya ya, your girlfriend ya.
MR. RICHIE
She is an Indian, she's somewhere
out in New York, we don't know
where she is, please get her back
to me.
BILL
Hey hey, why are you crying?
MR. RICHIE
I'm not crying.
BILL
Don't worry, I'll get her, I'm your
best man, just relax ok?
Genres:
["Comedy","Crime","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
39 -
A Night of Hiding and Hilarity
INT. NEW YORK POLICE PRECINCT. HALL - NIGHT
Richie, Chandu and Greg sitting orderly in a couch,
handcuffed to each other. Bill grabs his walkie talkie and
smiles.
BILL
Ok guys, see you soon, Preeti, I'm
coming for you.
Bill is walking out. Door opens, Preeti holding the door.
Bill smiles at Preeti and proceeds to walk outside, he didn't
realize Preeti.
Preeti and Chandu's family gets inside the precinct, talks to
the receptionist. Richie, Chandu and Greg are not aware.
MR. RICHIE
Hey, can we walk out like this? We
are only handcuffed to each other.
CHANDU
And go get Preeti and then get
married?
MR. RICHIE
Yes.
CHANDU
How about your honeymoon? Like
this?
MR. RICHIE
Come on Chandu.
POLICE RECEPTIONIST
There they are.
PREETI
Richie!
Richie looks up sees Preeti.
MR. RICHIE
Oh my God Preeti!
Richie quickly gets up, pulls down Chandu and Greg, with them
Richie gets tripped, falls down.
PREETI
Oh my god baby.
Preeti comes, lifts up Richie, all three gets up.
Richie and Preeti hugs. Chandu waves at his family, Greg
smells himself.
MR. RICHIE
We were looking for you all night,
where have you been?
PREETI
I was looking for you babe. You
said you'll get home and call, but
you didn't. I got scared and I
wanted to talk to you. They took my
phone and locked me in my room, and
this eve I saw my papa leaving the
house. I took a leap and broke out,
came by to yours, but you were not
there.
Richie gets confused, stares at Chandu. Chandu looks down,
nods to proceed.
MR. RICHIE
You went to my house?
PREETI
Yes and as you were not there, I
was walking back. I bumped into
Chandu's family. I told them what
happened between us and they
offered to help. We were actually
looking for you all New York. Then
we saw you guys running naked in
Times Square and Chandu saw us,
then--
MR. RICHIE
What?! Chandu you saw them?
CHANDU
Oh ya, they saw me too, naked.
GREG
(Coughs)
Typical.
MR. RICHIE
Why didn't you tell me dude?
CHANDU
No no, I forgot, Bill came in and I
lost my track.
MR. RICHIE
Oh god we should get out before
Bill finds--
Richie looks behind Preeti, eyes pops out, stands still.
PREETI
Babe? What babe?
Preeti looks back, sees her father Bhagat walking in.
PREETI (CONT'D)
Papa?
MR. RICHIE
Shit.
GREG
Let's run in to the cell.
Greg starts running. Richie takes Preeti's hand, Greg pulls,
all of them runs inside to the holding cell area.
MR. RICHIE
Run! Run! Run!
Bhagat strolls.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
40 -
Tensions in the Cell
INT. NEW YORK POLICE PRECINCT CELL - NIGHT
Greg opens the cell, puts Preeti inside and closes the cell,
stands by it.
GREG
(To the drawing)
We meet again Tiffany.
MR. RICHIE
Why did you put her in?
GREG
I saw Bill leave the cell open and
Preeti is safe in there.
MR. RICHIE
Preeti is safe outside you idiot,
Now move, let her out.
GREG
She might get hurt.
MR. RICHIE
She's not gonna get hurt.
GREG
We are gonna fight.
CHANDU
No!
Bhagat opens the glass exterior door, walks in.
MR. RICHIE
Look I'm not scared of you and I'm
not gonna give up on Preeti, I'm
gonna marry her. You can't stop us.
Bhagat walks near to Richie. Door opens, Shukla enters.
SHUKLA
Thank God Bhagat! You found her,
and why is Preeti inside a cell?
You bastards!
PREETI
(To her dad)
Papa please, I don't like the guy
you fixed, I want to be with
Richie.
SHUKLA
Don't listen to her Bhagat, we are
the elders, we do it in our
tradition and this Richie bastard
manipulated and changed her mind.
PREETI
No papa, please understand, he is
not like that.
SHUKLA
Kiss him.
GREG
Kiss? Chandu, you got any tissues?
Chandu loses his cool, hits Greg in his balls, Greg moans,
lays back on the cell door.
SHUKLA
Kiss him Bhagat!
PREETI
Papa please don't kiss him.
MR. RICHIE
Oh yes yes don't kiss me, you can
have your daughter, please don't
kiss me.
Bhagat stretches his both hands over Richie's head, locks
him. Richie couldn't move looks at his face with fear.
Nagesh from behind brings in few COPS from the precinct.
NAGESH
Bhagat?! You are in a police
precinct.
The cops comes forward, pulls Bhagat from Richie, brings him
back.
MR. RICHIE
Oh thank god.
Shukla looks at Bhagat, walks to Richie.
SHUKLA
This is no good, I'll take Preeti
to someplace safe.
Shukla folds his sleeves, briskly walks towards Richie.
GREG
Everyone! Attack position!
Bhagat breathes hard, holds his hand to his chest, kneels
down, cops catches him, calls for medic.
PREETI
Papa!
Shukla turns back.
SHUKLA
Bhagat?
Preeti stomps the cell open, pushes Greg down, runs towards
her dad.
MR. RICHIE
Oh no, that's bad.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
41 -
Panic and Promises in the Precinct
INT. NEWYORK POLICE PRECINCT HALL - NIGHT
Cops carry Bhagat to the couch with Preeti holding his hands,
Shukla stands near Bhagat. MEDICS are treating him.
SHUKLA
(To Richie)
It's all your fault!
MR. RICHIE
I'm sorry Preeti.
Medics after checking, gets up.
MEDICAL OFFICER
(To Preeti)
He is fine and stable.
MR. RICHIE
Stable? How? That's not a heart
attack?
MEDICAL OFFICER
He just panicked, not a heart
attack.
MR. RICHIE
But he reacted like having a heart
attack.
Bhagat gets up normal, grabs Preeti's hand, leaves.
SHUKLA
You'll never get her with those
handcuffs on, enjoy jail life.
Shukla smiles, shows his ring finger, exits.
MR. RICHIE
(To the medics)
What the fuck is happening?! Arrest
him, he just faked a heart attack.
A medical officer nods no. The other cops moves away.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
We ran naked they arrest us, but
this.
NAGESH
You guys are free, I bailed you
all, no penalties, no records and
no papers.
GREG
Oh you must be my lawyer, thanks
for coming.
CHANDU
That's my dad.
GREG
Anyway thanks for coming.
A COP un-cuffs them. Chandu joins his mom and sister.
MR. RICHIE
Thanks Mr. Nagesh, I'm sorry I have
to bring your kid into this.
NAGESH
I thought he bought you into this.
MR. RICHIE
Oh you know.
NAGESH
Ya, I know.
MR. RICHIE
Oh wow, ok.
NAGESH
Everything's gonna be fine Mr.
Richie and also you have a great
story for your kids, about how you
married their mother.
MR. RICHIE
Ya one big story, once again
thanks, you are a nice father.
NAGESH
And you are a nice son, I mean, to
your father. Ok, see you at your
wedding.
MR. RICHIE
My wedding?
Nagesh winks at Richie and leaves. Richie looks confused,
watches Chandu talking with his family.
SUNDARI
I'm praying to God that your dad
runs like that one day.
NAGESH
May God answer your prayers honey.
So Chandu, when am I going to see
you again?
KAM
Naked? Oh here, I have a picture.
CHANDU
Delete it Kam.
KAM
I'll delete it when you get me a
new phone.
CHANDU
Mom?
Sundari takes Kam's phone, breaks it. Chandu and his mom high
fives.
KAM
Are you crazy?
CHANDU
Nice mom.
SUNDARI
He'll buy you a new one dear.
CHANDU
What?!
Kam is fighting with Chandu, Richie from the reception looks
at them and smiles. Nagesh notices Richie, signals Chandu to
check on him.
NAGESH
Ok honey, lets leave the boys, they
have a lot of work to do.
SUNDARI
Ok chellam bye.
NAGESH
You better be alive and also shave.
I'll get you a trimmer.
Chandu nods, waves goodbye to his family, walks back to
Richie.
CHANDU
Mr. Richie? You gonna give up or--
MR. RICHIE
You told your dad about our plan.
CHANDU
Ok I'll be honest with you now,
there are a lot things I'm hiding
from you, but once you get married
to Preeti, I'll just spit
everything out, I promise. Now, are
you going to give up or, fucking
Greg.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
42 -
Midnight Misadventures in Central Park
INT. NEWYORK POLICE PRECINCT CELL - NIGHT
Greg looking at the weird girl drawing.
GREG
Who drew you? Wow look at your
face, that face, seeing you makes
me wanna cu--
Chandu and Richie closes his mouth, pulls him out.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - NIGHT
Chandu, Richie and Greg walks out. Greg lifts his skirt up,
looks inside, moves his hip around.
GREG
Guys look at this.
Both ignores Greg.
MR. RICHIE
Ok Chandu, now what?
CHANDU
We need to get to Jacob's
apartment.
MR. RICHIE
Oh God, how long?
CHANDU
That's his apartment.
MR. RICHIE
That's it, it was here all the
time?
CHANDU
Yes, that's why I told you to get
in the cop car for the free ride. I
thought your friend would excuse us
when we get here, but that went
bad. Ok now let's get in.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
43 -
Unexpected Revelations
INT. MR. JACOB'S APARTMENT ELEVATOR - NIGHT
Moving up. Chandu and Richie stand still, Greg lifts up his
long skirt up to his belly.
CHANDU
Are your balls going to sing?
Pretty black thing.
GREG
It's hot.
Richie, closes his eyes, breathes out - fuck.
INT. MR. JACOB'S HUGE APARTMENT - NIGHT
Door opens. Chandu, Greg and Richie walks in slowly. Greg
slips and falls down on the tile floor.
GREG
There is something on the floor
don't move.
Jacob walks out naked from his room, Richie keeps his hand in
mouth, Chandu looks surprised.
MR. RICHIE
Wow, London bridge is up, amen.
Jacob picks some clothes, hides his private part.
MR. JACOB
What happened to you people? We've
been waiting for you long time and
where is Preeti?
MR. RICHIE
Preeti? That's a big story, after
you left--
CHANDU
Wait, who's we?
Anjali from inside walks out with just a shirt on.
ANJALI
Hey Chandu, and heil father, is he
wearing a skirt?
MR. RICHIE
Dude, are you trying to kill
yourself? You do know that's
Shukla's daughter right?
MR. JACOB
ya, I know, we talked about it and
we like to show you something.
Anjali shows her finger with ring on it.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
I proposed, she said yes.
ANJALI
Yes!
CHANDU
Oh India conquered great Britain.
MR. RICHIE
You proposed?! Mother fucker, what
else? You got a baby in there?
GREG
I thought you were my husband.
ANJALI
What?
MR. JACOB
Oh he is just fooling around.
CHANDU
Congrats both of you, ok now, we
need to find Preeti.
MR. JACOB
Oh she know where Preeti is.
ANJALI
I actually lied to you about it.
MR. JACOB
Come On Anj..
MR. RICHIE
Anjj?
GREG
You will always be my husband
Jacob.
ANJALI
Ok, what's going on with you two?
GREG
Lot of things going on, you just
stay--
CHANDU
Ok enough, we don't have much time,
we need to get Preeti.
ANJALI
I can call and ask my dad.
MR. RICHIE
Oh ya your dad, like he'll say
where she is?
CUT TO
Genres:
["Comedy","Romance","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
44 -
The Urgent Rescue Plan
INT. MR. JACOB'S APARTMENT KITCHEN
Everyone stands surrounding the table, with phone in the
middle. Jacob is not confident, nodding no.
SHUKLA (V.O.)
(Over phone)
We locked Preeti in her room, don't
disturb her, she just got ready for
her wedding, and you helped her
apply mehandi right?
Richie and Jacob stand shocked, sighs.
ANJALI
Yes yes, papa, I thought, wait, but
wedding's Wednesday right?
SHUKLA (V.O.)
It's just an unofficial wedding to
get registered in our community, we
are taking her early morning to the
nearby temple, the main wedding is
Wednesday, now you sleep, everyone
is sleeping don't disturb.
Richie, upset, sits down on the floor. Chandu shows his two
fingers in a awkward movement to Anjali.
CHANDU
(Mouths)
"Where is the key?"
Anjali hits his hand.
ANJALI
Papa please I'm bored now, I want
to talk with Preeti, where is the
key papa?
SHUKLA (V.O.)
(Over phone)
Key is with me puttar, ok I'll come
up and open it.
ANJALI
No papa, you don't have to come,
you take rest, I'll talk tomorrow,
I'm going to sleep 'Satsriakaal'
(good night).
Shukla isn't replying to that, but phone is still connected.
MR. JACOB
Oh no, he's going to your room,
he's gonna find out you're not
there and then he'll find me and
kill me.
ANJALI
Jay-baby wait, listen to this.
MR. RICHIE
(Mouths)
Jay-baby?
Anjali raises the phone to his ears, Shukla can be heard
snoring. Anjali hangs up the call.
ANJALI
Everyone's asleep, it's a golden
opportunity, no bomb can wake my
family, this is really a good time
to get her Chandu.
CHANDU
Ok, I'll go and get Preeti, you
guys wait here.
MR. RICHIE
I'll come with you too, they still
think we are in jail.
CHANDU
No way, you stay here, they hate
you already and if they see you
there, that's it they'll move
Preeti to India and it's already
too late.
ANJALI
Yes, he is right.
MR. RICHIE
She's getting married tomorrow, I'm
not gonna just sit here, she's my
girlfriend and I'm her man.
Chandu sighs, thinks for few seconds.
CHANDU
Yes, ok we'll go.
MR. JACOB
Plan?
CHANDU
Anjali, which room your father is
in?
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
45 -
Stealthy Infiltration
EXT. PREETI'S HOUSE FRONT - NIGHT
Richie and Chandu standing outside the crew van, Greg in
driver seat. No sign of Jacob and Anjali.
CHANDU
Greg, no matter what happens inside
the house.
GREG
Stays inside the house.
CHANDU
No dick head, just stay here in the
van or leave and don't come inside.
Greg nods, agrees.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Mr. Richie ready to go?
MR. RICHIE
Fuck, let's do this.
Chandu and Richie walk low in the lawn. An open window,
Richie lifts Chandu, he grabs the window, squeezes inside.
INT.PREETI'S HOUSE HALL - NIGHT
No light. Chandu drops in through the window, then enters
Richie.
Richie moves his leg, Chandu stops him, signs him to look
down.
Richie sees an Indian man sleeping on the floor, spreading
his legs wide towards them, then they see a lot of people on
the floor sleeping.
CHANDU
(Whispers)
Ok, just follow my lead and be
careful.
Chandu walks through them, carefully placing his legs in
between gaps, Richie follows him.
They walk unsteadily, balancing themselves, Chandu slips, his
face goes down near a man's belly which is going in and out,
but saved by Richie, holding Chandu's collar tight.
Richie lifts him up, Chandu points at a room, they starts
walking over the pool of people on the floor. They reach the
room, opens the door without noise, gets in.
MR. RICHIE
(In a very low voice)
You gotta be kidding me.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
46 -
The Stealthy Heist
INT. SHUKLA'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Richie sees so many people in that room sleeping on the
floor. Richie finds Shukla in a recliner sleeping, he signs
Chandu to freeze, then Richie moves forward.
Chandu stands in one leg balancing, Richie gets near Shukla
and searches him for the key. He looks near the table, in his
pant pockets, inside his shirt but couldn't find.
Richie looks back at Chandu.
Chandu signs with his hands like he is pregnant, Richie
couldn't understand, he does it again, Richie nods, looks at
Shukla's belly, finds the key and looses it carefully.
Both of them walk out, closes the door slowly.
INT.PREETI'S HOUSE HALL - CONTINUOUS
They turn around, sees front door in open. They both panic,
turn their heads to the side, there is Greg, standing near
them, both jerks.
Chandu and Richie give angry face expressions and hand signs.
Greg calmly keeps finger over his lips, shows his flip phone
screen. Jacob's smiling face in display, in call.
Richie gets the flip phone, breaks it.
MR. RICHIE
(Mouths)
Get out.
Greg in anger walks over, climbs, stomps the men who are
sleeping on the floor. Richie and Chandu panic, surprised
that no Indian men woke up.
Greg gets out, closes the door loud. One Indian man opposite
to them wakes up, stares at them.
Richie and Chandu stand still, that Indian man falls back to
sleep, they proceed to move.
They cross the hall. They walk cautiously with fear, reaches
the stairs.
Richie senses a silhouette movement behind him, looks back,
sees Bhagat standing, facing the other side, Richie pulls
Chandu down, both lay down with other Indian men.
Bhagat spins behind fast, checks around.
Chandu looks at Richie, he is hugging an Indian man tight,
then Chandu's eyes roll up, sees Bhagat standing near Richie.
Bhagat turns around, leaves back to his room. Chandu's head
pops up, checks the room, both gets up.
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
47 -
Unexpected Intrusion
INT. PREETI'S HOUSE UPSTAIRS - CONTINUOUS
Richie and Chandu climb the stairs, reach Preeti's room.
Richie takes the key, goes to open, Chandu sees a shadow of a
STOUT MAN coming up the stairs.
As the man comes up, Chandu pulls Richie back to the opposite
room which is in open. That stout man gets near Preeti's
room.
INT. PREETI'S OPPOSITE ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Chandu can see the stout man from inside, the stout man is
standing opposite looking towards Preeti's room.
Richie gets inside the closet, Chandu sees the bed empty,
jumps on the bed, covers himself with the sheet.
That stout man walks inside the room where Richie and Chandu
are.
Chandu feels someone sitting in the bed. That man nears him,
touches Chandu's hand and presses it. Chandu shivers.
That man comes closer near Chandu's face. Chandu feels the
man's breath, he kisses in Chandu's cheek, then leaves, door
closes slowly.
Chandu checks around, wipes his cheek hard, Richie comes out
of the closet, freaked out.
MR. RICHIE
What was that?
CHANDU
Someone just fucking kissed me on
my cheek?
MR. RICHIE
Be glad he didn't do other things.
Chandu rolls out of the bed, both get to leave, notices
Preeti's and Anjali's portraits on the wall.
CHANDU
No shit, this is Anjali's room and
that was--
Richie laughs, Chandu shushes him, both gets out of the room.
Chandu checks the corridor, it's empty, Richie unlocks, opens
Preeti's room, sneaks in. Chandu stays out, keeping an eye.
Genres:
["Comedy","Romance","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
48 -
A Proposal Amidst the Chaos
INT. PREETI'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Richie gets near Preeti's bed, sees her awake, in an Indian
wedding attire with mehandi applied in her hand, crying,
Richie slowly reaches her.
MR. RICHIE
Babe.
Preeti freaks out, Richie closes her mouth, sushes her.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
It's me Richie.
Preeti notices Richie, hugs him, starts crying.
PREETI
Oh my god, you came.
Preeti and Richie kisses.
CHANDU
Guys we need to leave.
Preeti nods. All three leave the room, Chandu locks Preeti's
door, walks fast.
INT. PREETI'S HOUSE HALL - CONTINUOUS
Three of them walk carefully with people on the floor, Chandu
reaches the door first, turns around, waits for them.
Preeti unsteadily walks, stands in comfort, sees Richie in
front, standing on one leg with a ring in his hand.
Richie proposes to Preeti, surrounded by Indians sleeping on
the floor, Chandu looks at Richie.
CHANDU
You slow, late fucker.
Preeti's mouth wide opens.
MR. RICHIE
(Whispers)
Preeti, my love, will you marry me?
Instant loud fart. Richie sighs, Preeti nods her head fast.
PREETI
(Whispers)
Yes yes yes yes.
Another long fart.
MR. RICHIE
(Without breathing)
We should get out.
Genres:
["Comedy","Romance"]
Ratings
Scene
49 -
A Proposal in Chaos
EXT. PREETI'S HOUSE FRONT - NIGHT
Richie, Preeti and Chandu gets out of the house standing in
the lawn. Richie gets Preeti's finger, puts the ring.
CHANDU
That was easy, we should have tried
this first. Ok we need to leave.
MR. RICHIE
Let's start a new life babe.
PREETI
A new happy life.
INT./EXT. CREW VAN - NIGHT
All three run towards the crew van, gets in, sees Greg
asleep, wakes him.
CHANDU
Greg? Let's move, hit the gas.
Greg wakes up, looks back sees Preeti and Richie, he panics,
starts the van, a loud siren goes on.
MR. RICHIE
Turn it off dickhead!
All the lights in Preeti's house lit up.
CHANDU
Oh no no no, just drive! Drive! Hit
the gas!
Chandu bends down inbetween Greg's legs, with his hands, he
hits the gas pedal, car moves fast.
Genres:
["Comedy","Romance","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
50 -
Chaos in the Parking Lot
EXT. MR. JACOB'S APARTMENT PARKING LOT - NIGHT
With the loud siren, tires screeching, the crew van enters,
stops at a corner.
Everyone gets out of it. Preeti sees Jacob and Anjali waiting
outside, waving at them.
PREETI
Is that Anjali? What is she doing
here?
CHANDU
Oh, Jacob is doing her.
PREETI
What?
MR. RICHIE
I'll tell you on the way.
Preeti and Richie gets to Jacob and Anjali.
MR. JACOB
Finally. No one followed you right?
MR. RICHIE
We don't know but we have to leave
soon.
Chandu picks a bag from the crew van, gets to convertible,
checks it's dashboard.
MR. JACOB
Chandu, you got the flight tickets?
CHANDU
Nope, we are driving.
MR. RICHIE
No way, that's like two day drive
to L.A, how the fuck you think we
can make it?
CHANDU
There are no flights available now.
We have Greg, he can get us there
fast.
MR. RICHIE
Yes, but it's still New York to
L.A.
BOOM, a loud blast, everyone shake, turns around.
CHANDU
Greg, you son of a fucking cunt!
MR. RICHIE
You asshole!
Crew van is glowing up in fire, it's Greg.
CHANDU
Why did you do that?
GREG
Clearing the evidence you fool. No
one will find us.
CHANDU
That's our school van for special
kids, you speedo sucking dick!
Richie in anger gets to smash him. Jacob and Preeti holds him
back.
MR. JACOB
Let's drive in Mr. Henry's car, we
have no time.
Richie calms down, gets in with Preeti. Chandu opens his bag,
takes 4 lemons, places it in front of each tires of the
convertible.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
What are you doing?
CHANDU
It's an Indian thing, crushing
lemons before travelling prevents
accidents in future.
MR. JACOB
Wow, ok nice, but--
Jacob replaces all the lemon to the back of each tire.
CHANDU
What? Why? It should be in front.
MR. JACOB
You'll thank me later, just get in
the car.
Chandu gets in front, in the back is Jacob with Anjali on his
lap, Richie with Preeti on his lap, puts the seat belt
through Anjali and Preeti, locks it in.
Everyone breathes out, relaxes and smiles at each other.
CHANDU
Fucking Greg.
Greg stares at the burning van, removes his arm cast throws
it inside the fire.
GREG
Burn you bitch!
MR. RICHIE
(Shouts)
Why don't you just get inside that
van?!
Greg walks towards the convertible, gets in, grabs the wheel.
GREG
I love you guys.
MR. RICHIE
(In anger)
Oh we love you more than anything,
now drive!
Greg puts the gear, holds the steering, looks back for
reverse, everyone turns their head back. Chandu looks at
Jacob, he nods and smiles.
Greg hits the gas, car moves forward at good speed.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Oh you mother fucker!
All lemons on the road remains uncrushed, car drives out of
the parking lot.
Chandu just keeps straight face, looks at Jacob.
Genres:
["Comedy","Action","Romance"]
Ratings
Scene
51 -
Wedding Chaos on the Freeway
INT./EXT. CONVERTIBLE. FREEWAY - DAWN
Sun is rising, convertible cruising fast. Brisk wind flowing
through them, Greg's skirt is up to his belly.
MR. RICHIE
(Shouts)
What day is it?
MR. JACOB
(Shouts)
Saturday!
MR. RICHIE
(Shouts)
Long day to go, Hey Jacob?!
(MORE)
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
Shukla kissed Chandu and he is
wearing a cannibal's shirt!
MR. JACOB
(Shouts)
Mother fucker right?
MR. RICHIE
Ya. Mothah fockah!
(Shouts)
Hey! And thanks for the ring!
Jacob smiles, nods, they see Chandu in front, laying his head
sideways, sleeping.
EXT. LOS ANGELES NEXT DAY - EVENING
Convertible driving through Los Angeles missing one front
door, reaches a street.
MR. RICHIE
And that's my parents house and
that's my-- what the fuck?!
Richie sees Nagesh, Mr. Henry and Frank waiting for them
along with many storm troopers.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
What in the hell?
CHANDU
Ahh actually your wedding was
planned Saturday and didn't invite
many, so to fill the chairs I think
my dad bought these storm troopers
or storm strippers.
MR. RICHIE
No, I meant your dad and Mr. Henry
and Frank, they're here from
yesterday? How did they reach here
so quick?
CHANDU
Oh that's a small story actually,
I'll tell you later.
EXT. MR. RICHIE'S BEACH HOUSE FRONT - EVENING
Car pulls over. Chandu gets out, goes around the car to the
side of Greg, puts his hand out.
CHANDU
Please.
Greg smiles, picks his hand, steps out from the convertible.
GREG
Oh Chandu, you don't have to--
Thud. Chandu slaps Greg, he falls down.
CHANDU
(Yells)
Never pee in the middle of the
freeway you son of a bitch, you
mother sucking dick!
Chandu sees his dad standing aside, acts normal.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Oh hey dad, how are you?
NAGESH
Same as yesterday. Mother sucking
dick?
Chandu smiles. Sundari reveals from behind.
SUNDARI
Excuse me?!
Nagesh panics. Sundari now see's Chandu and Preeti, gets to
them.
SUNDARI (CONT'D)
Oh thank God. You guys reached here
with some clothes on, we were
worried. Ok now, we don't have
time. Preeti and Mr. Richie let's
get you fucking married.
They all rushes to the alter. Nagesh taps his chest, cools
down.
Genres:
["Comedy","Romance"]
Ratings
Scene
52 -
A Comedic Chaos at the Beach Wedding
EXT. BEACH WEDDING RECEPTION - CONTINUOUS
All reaches in hurry, dirty face.
Richie, stands on the ceremony area with his best man Jacob,
followed by Chandu, to the other side are Anjali and Kam.
Reception area mostly populated with storm troopers and other
few super heroes.
MR. RICHIE
Is that Frank and Henry with Ms.
Helen and Mrs. Clarence? What a
foursome?
CHANDU
Say fivesome, you missed Mrs.
Clarence's husband.
MRS. CLARENCE'S HUSBAND happily smiles, waves at them.
MR. RICHIE
Wow ok--
A R-rated song plays.
CHANDU
Greg and his playlists.
MR. RICHIE
Thank God, it's not that huge ass
black chick.
Richie, Jacob and Chandu look at the aisle, Greg dressed in
black suit with red light saber walks in with pride throwing
flowers.
Greg passes by, PEOPLE seated looks at him weird, he then
joins Chandu.
GREG
Richie? You have the high ground.
MR. RICHIE
How the fuck did you get dressed up
so quick?
GREG
Credits to my Cunt family. Furious
and fast.
Chandu sighs. The song stops, everyone looks back at the
aisle.
Funeral bagpipe tune plays.
Preeti, looking exhausted but beautiful, walks, holding
Nagesh's hand, Greg gets down from the stage, walks towards
them.
Greg is wearing orgy pants, his ass shines.
MR. RICHIE
Oh my lord.
MR. JACOB
He is the master mother fucker.
Greg gets Preeti's hand. Nagesh looks at him weirdly, leaves
to his seat. They reach the stage, bride walks up to Richie.
Greg bends over, people cringes.
Genres:
["Comedy","Romance"]
Ratings
Scene
53 -
A Night of Celebration and Concern
EXT. BEACH WEDDING PARTY - NIGHT
Party music, lights and booze. Everyone dancing in joy.
Richie and Preeti, Jacob and Anjali paired up dancing, Greg
is doing worm dance move with his orgy pants. Chandu is
talking with his father.
NAGESH
So Anjali and Jacob?
CHANDU
Ya, shocked me too.
NAGESH
They don't know?
CHANDU
Nope.
Richie comes dancing towards Chandu, takes Chandu with him to
the dance floor.
Preeti notices something odd in the reception area, walks out
to check.
GREG
Everyone twerk with me!
No one except Greg starts twerking. Richie sees Preeti
walking out.
MR. RICHIE
Preeti?!
Richie follows behind Preeti. Nagesh notices them leaving,
signals Chandu who is dancing with Jacob.
Chandu and Jacob notice the signal, sees Richie who is going
behind Preeti.
MR. JACOB
Wow, they are starting their
honeymoon soon?
CHANDU
No no.
Chandu pushes through the crowd, starts running towards
Richie and Preeti.
MR. JACOB
Chandu?! Hey!
Jacob follows.
Genres:
["Comedy","Romance"]
Ratings
Scene
54 -
A Father's Stand
EXT. WEDDING RECEPTION AREA - NIGHT
Preeti reaches, sees a STRANGER in the dark walking out.
PREETI
Papa?
The stranger stops.
Bhagat wearing a white kurta, red turban in his head, walks
out. Richie reaches the reception area sees Bhagat, he gets
Preeti back.
MR. RICHIE
Hey you stay away from my wife!
PREETI
It's ok Richie, he's not gonna hurt
us.
PREETI (CONT'D)
Papa, why didn't you tell me at
first?
MR. RICHIE
You should leave, she's my wife
now, if you try to take her away
from me, I'll kill you.
Bhagat smiles at Richie.
PREETI
Richie, he's not here to take me,
he is here for our wedding, to
bless us.
MR. RICHIE
No he's not!
PREETI
Look at him, he is wearing a red
turban, it's worn for special
occasions like weddings.
MR. RICHIE
He faked his heart attack babe.
He's probably faking this by red
turban, don't go near him.
PREETI
No, it's sacred and my father never
do that to his spiritual faith.
A black SUV stops, few INDIAN MEN along with Shukla, walks
out, Richie and Preeti watch them enter.
MR. RICHIE
Shit! I told you Preeti.
PREETI
(Sobs)
I never thought you would do this,
really dad?
Bhagat surprised, turns around looks at Shukla. Richie picks
a chair in his hands, goes to hit Bhagat, Chandu from behind
jumps, pushes Richie down.
SHUKLA
I said we'll get Preeti, why did
you come alone? Oh red turban, well
done Bhagat.
Nagesh reaches them, looks at Shukla.
NAGESH
You don't have any business here
Shukla. This is a private property
and they are married now.
SHUKLA
(Yells)
I don't care, this marriage is
nothing, she's gonna marry the man
we fixed and who are you to
interfere in our family matters?
NAGESH
Richie and Preeti are our family
now.
SHUKLA
Go away you piece of shit!
Chandu in anger gets up, runs, pushes Shukla down inside the
pile of chairs.
CHANDU
You are a piece of shit, you mother
fucker!
Other Indian men catches Chandu, holds him, Richie and Jacob
get up with the chair, tries to hit the Indian men.
BHAGAT
(Shouts)
Enough!
Everyone stops. Nagesh gets Richie and Jacob back, now Chandu
is being held by Indian men.
SHUKLA
You son of a bitch!
Shukla tries to hit Chandu, but Bhagat blocks his blow.
SHUKLA (CONT'D)
What are you doing Bhagat?!
BHAGAT
I'm done with family and community.
I wanted my daughter to marry
Richie not the guy you fixed.
SHUKLA
What?! What happened to you? I'm
the elder and you should listen to
me, and this is for your daughter's
good future.
BHAGAT
This is for your selfishness, you
need higher reputation and
leadership. Marrying my daughter to
that wealthy family gives you more
authority over our community, you
are not doing it for our family,
you are only doing it to get
yourself up and that's my daughter.
SHUKLA
If you let this happen, you lose
respect and you will be banished,
remember?!
BHAGAT
I know, I tried to get along with
both but now I don't care. And my
wife, she would have done the same.
SHUKLA
That's why she's no more.
Bhagat loses his mind, Shukla takes advantage, removes his
block, hits Chandu.
NAGESH
No!
Chandu falls down. Jacob and Richie run towards Chandu, push
those Indian men down. Bhagat gets mad, stretches his hand
around Shukla's head.
MR. RICHIE
Oh fuck, he is going to kiss him.
MR. JACOB
What?
SHUKLA
You are going to kiss your own
brother.
MR. JACOB
I am not participating.
Bhagat locks Shukla's head, bends him down putting Shukla's
head in between his legs, lifts him up over his shoulders,
THUD, slams down in to the pile of chairs.
MR. RICHIE
That's not a kiss, that's a fucking
power bomb!
Other Indians pick Shukla up, he is unconscious.
BHAGAT
Take him home and don't come back.
Other Indian men puts Shukla in the car, drives back.
NAGESH
Chandu, are you ok?
BHAGAT
I'm sorry Chandu, I should have
done that earlier.
CHANDU
No uncle Bhagat, why did you do
that? Now you'll be kicked out of
your family, we would have taken
care of this.
BHAGAT
I don't care about that now, my
daughter is happy and safe, that's
all I want.
Preeti runs and hugs her dad with tears.
MR. RICHIE
Someone please care to explain what
the fuck is happening? Hey Chandu
boy?
MR. JACOB
Yes Chandu, what is happening?
Everyone gets up, settles. Greg arrives at reception area
see's Bhagat.
GREG
(Screams)
You just leave Richie alone, you
mother fucker!
Greg grabs his light saber, runs towards Bhagat to attack
him, THUD, trips and falls by Jacob's leg.
MR. JACOB
That's for our gay marriage.
Everyone stares at Jacob, surprised.
MR. JACOB (CONT'D)
I meant for lying about.. Never
mind.
CHANDU
Ok Mr. Richie? Preeti's dad
supported you from the very
beginning, when you guys started
dating. He knows all about you. And
Jacob this was my dad's and uncle
Bhagat's plan, not mine and
Preeti's.
MR. JACOB
What?! You lied to me too?
Chandu smiles, nods yes.
NAGESH
We planned this way before on how
to get Preeti to you. And we were
also aware Shukla will jeopardize
Preeti for gaining his authority.
Poor Bhagat have to balance between
family and daughter's love.
MR. RICHIE
Why didn't you tell this to Preeti?
NAGESH
We wanted it to look like your
plan, so it'll raise no doubt and
also Bhagat will not lose his
family and his daughter. Chandu
made few updates, that messed up.
MR. RICHIE
If we knew this before we could
have done it easily.
NAGESH
No, you would've not worked hard to
get her, knowing the future before,
you'll definitely lose, that's why
we planned like this. And also if
Bhagat's family came to know that
Bhagat supported you from out of
the community, they would've taken
Preeti to India. Bhagat would've
been banished from his family for
going against his tradition. He
already lost his wife and after
this, where is he gonna go? That's
why he couldn't show his support,
and that's why Chandu had to trick
you guys.
BHAGAT
As Chandu's associate came home to
kidnap Preeti on friday evening, I
left the house so that it would be
less suspicious, but it failed.
MR. RICHIE
Ok, but you faked a heart attack.
BHAGAT
Nagesh rang me and told you guys
are being arrested. I came there to
check on you, but Shukla followed
me, I have to act in front of him
or he would have taken Preeti and
hid her from our eyes, so I faked a
heart attack and took her home. I
know Chandu will come back, so I
left the door open, but you climbed
through our window.
MR. RICHIE
You saw that?
BHAGAT
Yes and also your one legged fart
proposal.
MR. RICHIE
Oh wow ok that's enough, I trust
you, my father in law everyone!
BHAGAT
You are a nice man Richie. Take
care of Preeti or I'll kiss you.
Preeti bows down, touches Bhagat's feet, Richie then bows,
gets his blessing.
Anjali hugs and kisses Jacob, she didn't notice her uncle
Bhagat nearby.
BHAGAT (CONT'D)
Anjali?
NAGESH
That's karma Bhagat. And they are
engaged, let's give them some
privacy.
Bhagat and Nagesh leave them. Every others walk to the beach.
Genres:
["Drama","Comedy"]
Ratings
Scene
55 -
Beach Bonfire Revival
EXT. BEACH SEA SHORE - NIGHT
Everyone seated around having beer, in a bon fire, chatting.
CHANDU
Ok, Mr. Richie our episode is
coming to an end.
MR. RICHIE
No it's not, you still didn't tell
me what happened that night. I
wanna know how this royal family
member got involved and how he
saved my life.
MR. JACOB
Chandu talked me out, Greg over
heard us and he is the one who
disabled your internet, and also he
drugged you.
MR. RICHIE
Wow, internet, yes ok. And how did
you save my life? All the other
crazy stuff? You promised you'll
spit it out after we get married.
Chandu and Jacob look at each other.
MR. RICHIE (CONT'D)
I did a lot of crazy things right?
INT. MR. RICHIE'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM. FLASHBACK - NIGHT
Jacob, standing scared, looks at Chandu holding Richie's leg,
coming out of the bathroom, now Greg comes out lifting
Richie's armpits.
Chandu and Greg get near Jacob. Chandu slowly places Richie's
leg down, Greg just drops him down hard. THUD.
CHANDU
You dumbass!
GREG
No pain no gain.
All three squats down looks at Richie. Greg keeps his ear on
Richie's chest.
GREG (CONT'D)
Amazing, he is not breathing.
Chandu and Jacob panic.
CHANDU
Amazing?! Are you kidding me?!
MR. JACOB
No no no.
CHANDU
Did you give the right drug?
GREG
I use this every night to sleep, I
know what I gave.
CHANDU
Check his pulse.
Greg grabs Richie's wrist.
GREG
No pulse, he's dead.
MR. JACOB
Oh blimey, I'm gonna call my daddy.
CHANDU
Ya really, your majesty, like your
daddy's gonna fly here.
GREG
Your daddy can fly?
CHANDU
Ooo, I have an idea.
Chandu runs, opens a cupboard grabs an iron box and a
scissor.
Meanwhile Greg removes the towel, looks at Richie's penis and
laughs. Jacob sighs, runs to Chandu, helps him cut the wire.
They cut the wire, expose copper out, comes back near Richie,
plugs the other end to the socket.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Ok, Jacob? I'm gonna keep this on
his chest, when I say on, you turn
on the switch for three seconds
then turn it off, ok?
MR. JACOB
(Scared)
Really?
Chandu places the copper wire on Richie's chest.
CHANDU
On!
Jacob turns on the switch, Richie shivers rapidly.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Off! Off! Off!
Jacob turns it off.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Greg?
Greg checks his pulse.
GREG
Ya he's back. Oh, gone.. He's back.
Oh man he is coming and leaving..
Wait.
Greg rolls Richie over, now he lays belly down. There is a
syringe sticking in the side of Richie's butt cheek.
Greg pulls the syringe out.
GREG (CONT'D)
One of you have to suck the drug
out of his butt.
CHANDU
No way, I'm eighteen minus.
GREG
I have herpes.
Chandu and Greg look at Jacob.
MR. JACOB
I'm a royal family member.
Chandu and Greg, straight face.
A beat.
Jacob face on Richie's butt, sucking and spitting.
GREG
Wow, it's awesome.
Jacob stops in the middle, looks up with a weird face.
MR. JACOB
I hate you all. What did he eat?
Greg giggles.
GREG
No, it's what did he shit.
Greg laughs loud, THUD, Chandu slaps Greg hard.
Jacob sighs, sucks it again.
CHANDU
Greg, anything?
GREG
Nope he's dead.
Jacob gets up, sweaty face.
MR. JACOB
I'm going to London.
Chandu touches Richie's wrist, checks for pulse.
CHANDU
You fucking Greg! He's got good
pulse.
Jacob screams loud - "ahh".
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
56 -
Beachside Deception
EXT. BEACH SEA SHORE. PRESENT - NIGHT
Richie jaw dropped.
MR. RICHIE
Oh fuck-ady fuck, that's the shit
he saved me from?
MR. JACOB
Come on man.
MR. RICHIE
So I passed out and nothing
happened?
INT. MR. RICHIE'S HOUSE BATHROOM. FLASHBACK - NIGHT
Chandu and Jacob place Richie down slowly, flat on the floor,
no sign of Greg. They both depart.
EXT. MR. RICHIE'S HOUSE FRONT. FLASHBACK - CONTINUOUS
Chandu and Jacob reach the crew van, Greg, carrying a bag,
walks in-between them, puts the bag inside the back of the
van.
CHANDU
What's with the bag?
Greg opens his bag, it's full of Richie's underwear.
CHANDU (CONT'D)
Are you kidding? Why? Is this one
of your fetish?
GREG
No, it's just a practical joke,
small dick doesn't need one. I took
them all, poor dick.
CHANDU
Whatever. He's not gonna wake up
till morning, so are we clear with
the plan?
MR. JACOB
Yes, we are gonna lie to him, he
was on drugs, I'm gonna say mother
fucker more often, seven and a half
year relationship, I saved his life
and he cried.
CHANDU
Yes good, and also remember it's
our plan not Preeti's. Preeti
doesn't want him to know, I'll do
the talking, you just agree for
everything I say, he is easy to
confuse.
Greg smiles. Jacob glances at Greg.
GREG
I love you guys.
MR. JACOB
Hey Greg? Can you give me one of
Richie's underwear?
Greg gets excited, puts his hand in to the trunk. Chandu
looks at Jacob, he nods no to Chandu. Greg digs his bag.
GREG
You need a unwashed one or one with
a hair or one with--
BANG. Jacob closes the back door hard, hits Greg's hand. Greg
screams in pain.
CHANDU
Why? He is the one who can drive.
MR. JACOB
About the toilet thing, and he made
me suck his butt. And also he
mocked my grandpa.
Greg cries in pain.
EXT. BEACH SEA SHORE. PRESENT - NIGHT
Richie not happy, breathes out.
MR. RICHIE
So I was dead, you sucked my butt
and Greg, where the fuck is
Maanigga?
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
57 -
Wedding Mayhem
EXT. WEDDING RECEPTION AREA - NIGHT
Everyone head down, there is Greg, sleeping stomach down on
the floor, his ass is exposed.
MR. RICHIE
Should we bury or cremate?
COP SIREN. Everyone looks up. An NYPD car skits, stops.
CHANDU
Now what?
Door opens. Deepti gets out of the car, shouts.
DEEPTI
It's happening bitches! I'm getting
married!
Bill, Richie's cop friend gets out of the car, pulls his pant
up, enters.
BILL
Oh hey Richie! A little lot late,
but still made it, come on hug me.
MR. RICHIE
What are you doing?
BILL
I got Preeti.
Bill smiles, proud.
DEEPTI
Which mother fucker is going to
marry this mother fuckee?! Come on!
MR. RICHIE
That is definitely not Preeti.
BILL
No that is Preeti, I got her, broke
my hip and drove here straight,
didn't poop.
MR. RICHIE
Ah Bill, this is Preeti, we got
married like four hours ago.
DEEPTI
(Screams)
Who is marrying me?! Show yourself!
BILL
You showed me the picture and that
is Preeti.
MR. RICHIE
That is Deepti, can't you see
Preeti standing next to me.
Bill looks at Preeti.
BILL
Oh ya, ok ok, I see, their fault,
same name, same face.
Chandu vexed, hands on his hip, breathes out.
MR. RICHIE
Hey thank you, but our wedding's
over, come on, let's grab you some
drinks.
Richie pulls Bill, but he doesn't move.
BILL
Wait, I know what you're doing
here, you just used me and escaped
from custody.
MR. RICHIE
We got bailed out dude.
BILL
No, you are a perv and you lied,
I'm gonna arrest you for escaping.
Bill approaches Richie to arrest. Bhagat stands in front of
Richie.
BILL (CONT'D)
Move big guy and what's that on
your head?
Bill brings his hand to touch the turban.
PREETI
Oh no, no one touches a turban.
BHAGAT
Don't do that.
BILL
What you gonna do? I can do
anything I want.
Bill touches it, Preeti gasps, Bhagat stretches his hands
around Bill's head.
MR. RICHIE
Oh shit, dude. He's gonna kiss you.
BILL
Kiss me? Wow French or Indian? You
know what, let's try Mexican.
In Slow-mo. Bhagat bends Bill down putting his head in
between his legs, his butt clenches, he lifts him up over his
shoulders, slams Bill down to the floor.
THE END
CREDITS ROLL WITH FLASHBACKS
Genres:
["Comedy","Romance","Action"]
Ratings
Scene
58 -
Secrets and Intimacies
INT. PREETI'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY
Preeti, with a stethoscope, leaves. Bhagat from behind.
BHAGAT
You have to work on Sundays?
Preeti turns around.
PREETI
I have an emergency appointment, a
cow actually, poor one.
Bhagat smiles, nods.
INT. MR. RICHIE'S BEDROOM - DAY
Preeti and Richie wildly kissing.
MR. RICHIE
Wish you were here all the time.
PREETI
I want to, but my dad monitors me.
Good thing is, he still doesn't
know about us.
INT. HOUSE BASEMENT - DAY
Bhagat and Nagesh seated side by side.
NAGESH
Seven years with Richie? Chandu's
high school teacher? Sure she's a
virgin?
BHAGAT
She is, I brought her up well, she
doesn't even know the word sex.
INT. MR. RICHIE'S BEDROOM - DAY
Preeti and Richie having sex, missionary.
PREETI
Let's do doggy.
They do doggy.
PREETI (CONT'D)
Reverse cowgirl.
They do reverse cowgirl.
PREETI (CONT'D)
Scissor me!
INT. HOUSE BASEMENT - DAY
Bhagat pacing back and forth. Nagesh smirks.
BHAGAT
It's been seven years, she is not
confessing.
NAGESH
She won't. You should ask.
BHAGAT
It's too late, Shukla already
started looking for a groom. I need
your help.
Nagesh nods.
Genres:
["Comedy","Romance","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
59 -
Misunderstandings and Mayhem
INT. CHANDU'S ROOM - DAY
Chandu laid on his bed, Nagesh standing in front.
CHANDU
Ok, I'll help you, but I want
unlimited wifi, and also a motor
bike, and a new I-phone. I want Kam
to call me brother, at least bro,
not donkey.
Nagesh nods no.
INT. SCHOOL. STUDENTS RESTROOM - DAY
From top. Jacob, seated pants down inside a toilet. Standing
out is Chandu, with a phone in his hand.
CHANDU
I'm sorry, I didn't know it was
you.
A beat.
No one except Jacob washing his hands, Chandu standing
nearby.
MR. JACOB
So this is all Preeti's plan?
CHANDU
Yep. So you in?
MR. JACOB
Ok. But remember, you promised me,
no one should know, this is between
us, I'm single for more than two
years, this is the only way I can
free my mind.
Greg from behind.
GREG
You fucked him?!
Both startles, looks at Greg. Chandu sweats.
GREG (CONT'D)
Holy shit! Chandu? You have a
girlfriend right? And Jacob? You
are gay?
CHANDU
Fuck! No we didn't do any thing, he
was masturbating and I saw--
MR. JACOB
Mate! You just promised me you
won't tell anyone.
CHANDU
Oh wow, so a teacher fucking a
student is better?
GREG
No, I thought, you was fucking
Jacob.
Jacob sighs, Chandu gags.
CHANDU
Greg, it's not like what you think,
he was masturbating and--
MR. JACOB
Chandu is kidnapping Mr. Richie's
girlfriend this week.
Chandu shakes.
CHANDU
Why?! Why?!
MR. JACOB
This is true, he is kidnapping,
check his phone. He was talking
with someone, making plans, I over
heard it, and he peeped--
GREG
Ok ok, girls, calm down.
Greg smiles, looks at both. Chandu's face, wet with sweat.
GREG (CONT'D)
I don't believe you, four P.M after
school, you guys are fucking.
CHANDU
Ok, wait, I can prove you.
GREG
You don't have to, I suck dicks
too.
Chandu and Jacob sighs, Greg smiles, silence.
INT. HOUSE BASEMENT - DAY
Chandu seated in a chair, standing in front is Nagesh,
looking mad, and also Bhagat.
NAGESH
Jacob and Greg? You said Frank and
Henry.
CHANDU
You wanted it to look like Mr.
Richie's plan right? This is a new
update. And also I told them it's
Preeti's plan, all clear, you dads
don't worry.
Bhagat nods no.
NAGESH
No more updates!
Genres:
["Comedy","Drama"]
Ratings
Scene
60 -
Chaos and Comedy at Preeti's House
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FRONT - NIGHT
Chandu with a phone in his ears.
CHANDU
(Over phone)
Yes, Anjali and Deepti, Dad? Calm
down. Just look out for Preeti--
Richie from behind.
MR. RICHIE
Hey Chandu!
Chandu turns around.
CHANDU
(Over phone)
I don't know, ok call you later.
Chandu hangs up the call. Richie rages towards Chandu.
MR. RICHIE
You fuckin liar!
CHANDU
What happened?
MR. RICHIE
Oh what happened? You fuckin
happened!
INT. NEW YORK POLICE PRECINCT HALL - NIGHT
Chandu talking with his family. Sundari and Kam leaves.
NAGESH
You guys book another flight,
Bhagat is joining us.
CHANDU
No, there are no other flights.
NAGESH
Preeti is his only daughter,
wedding happens with him.
Nagesh glances at him. Chandu sighs.
EXT. PREETI'S HOUSE FRONT - NIGHT
The crew van with alarm, speeds away.
INT. PREETI'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Lights on. Many INDIAN MEN sleeping on the floor. Shukla and
a few Indian men, heads out of the window.
SHUKLA
Preeti?!
Bhagat comes down from the stairs.
SHUKLA (CONT'D)
(To Bhagat)
You stay here, I'll bring her back.
Shukla rushes out with a few men. Bhagat slowly walks back to
the rear door.
EXT. PREETI'S HOUSE BACKYARD - NIGHT
Bhagat comes out, see's a sedan waiting for him.
INT./EXT. SEDAN - CONTINUOUS
Nagesh on wheels, Bhagat sits in front, behind seated tight
are Sundari, Kam, Mr. Henry and Mr. Frank.
BHAGAT
Tickets?
Nagesh nods. Bhagat looks back. Mr. Henry smiles, Sundari
squints at Nagesh, not happy. Bhagat turns front.
EXT. PREETI'S HOUSE BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS
Sedan moves forward, departs.
A cop car, slowly moving, stops. Door opens, Bill comes out,
strolls in, looks up at the balcony, sees Deepti on phone.
BILL
Hey? You Preeti?
DEEPTI
I'm Deepti.
BILL
Preeti?
DEEPTI
Deepti!
BILL
Ok. Your boyfriend is waiting to
marry--
Deepti jumps, throws herself from the balcony, THUD, falls
over Bill.
Both are down, no movement. Bill farts.
DEEPTI
Eww.
Deepti gets up, dives into the cop car. Silence. A Punjabi
folk song plays. Bill lays there dead.
FADE TO BLACK.