Read Memento with its analysis


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Scene 1 -  Aftermath
1 INT. DERELICT HOUSE – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 1
A POLAROID PHOTOGRAPH, clasped between finger and thumb: a
crude, crime scene flash picture of a MAN’S BODY lying on a
decaying wooden floor, a BLOODY MESS where his head should
be.
The image in the photo starts to FADE as we SUPER TITLES. The
hand holding the photo suddenly FANS it in a rapid FLAPPING
motion, then holds it still. The image fades more, and again
the picture is FANNED.
As TITLES END the image fades to nothing. The hand holding
the photo FLAPS it again, then places it at the front of a
POLAROID CAMERA.
The camera SUCKS the blank picture up, then the FLASH BURSTS.
The Polaroid camera is lowered, revealing the sweaty, heavy-
breathing face of LEONARD (mid-30’s). There are droplets of
blood across his face. Leonard stares, satisfied, at
something on the ground in front of him. There is WET BLOOD
on his BLUE SHIRT and BEIGE SUIT. His hand opens and catches
a HANDGUN which leaps up into his grasp.
Still staring, he crouches down and pulls a BODY off the
floor by the wet hair of its BLOODY HEAD. He slowly inserts
the barrel of the gun into the bloody mess where the mouth
should be.
Leonard FLINCHES. A DEAFENING ROAR as wet red leaps off his
face and suit and head, with a SPASM, reassembles itself
into the face of TEDDY (40’s, moustache) and we-
CUT TO:
2 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 2
Close on Leonard’s eyes. He rolls them to one side, then
turns his head.
LEONARD (V.O.)
So where are you?
Leonard lifts his head. He is lying on a queen-sized bed.
LEONARD (cont’d)
You’re in some motel room.
CUT TO:
2.
3 EXT. DERELICT BUILDING - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 3
A late model Jaguar bumps across some railroad tracks and
approaches a large, clearly abandoned DERELICT BUILDING.
Leonard is driving. He wears a BEIGE SUIT and BLUE SHIRT (no
blood). Next to him is TEDDY. Leonard stops the car next to a
PICKUP TRUCK sitting Outside the derelict building. Leonard
kills the engine, staring at the pickup.
LEONARD
Looks like somebody’s home.
Teddy looks from Leonard to the pickup and back.
TEDDY
That thing’s been here for years.
Leonard gets out of the Jaguar and moves to the pickup. He
inspects it with a methodical, practiced eye. Teddy follows.
LEONARD
I think you’re wrong. These tracks aren’t *
more than a few days old.
Leonard opens the door of the pickup and searches the
interior. On the dirty vinyl of the passenger seat he finds *
six BULLETS. Leonard picks two of them up and studies them. *
He drops them onto the dashboard then SHUTS the door. *
LEONARD (cont’d)
Let’s take a look inside.
Leonard walks towards the house, patting his jacket pockets.
Teddy leans on the pickup, uneasy, watching Leonard.
Genres: ["Crime","Mystery","Thriller"]

Summary Leonard, covered in blood, photographs the corpse of Teddy. Later, they find a truck with bullets inside outside an abandoned building and decide to investigate.
Strengths
  • Effective use of visual elements
  • Intriguing setup of mystery and conflict
  • Tense dialogue and interactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
  • Some elements may be too cryptic for initial understanding

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively sets up a dark and suspenseful tone, introduces intriguing characters, and hints at a complex mystery. The transitions between different settings and the use of visual elements enhance the overall impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss and a mysterious crime scene is engaging and sets up a compelling mystery. The use of color sequences and the introduction of the characters in a tense situation add depth to the concept.

Plot: 8

The plot is intriguing, with the introduction of a crime scene, memory loss, and mysterious characters. The scene sets up multiple questions and hints at a larger mystery to be unraveled.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the crime genre with its unique narrative structure and unreliable narrator. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters of Leonard and Teddy are introduced effectively, with hints at their complex relationship and past. Their actions and dialogue add depth to the scene and set up potential character arcs.

Character Changes: 6

While there are hints at potential character changes, such as Leonard's memory loss and Teddy's unease, the scene primarily focuses on setting up the mystery and conflict.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth behind the crime scene and his own memories. This reflects his deeper need for closure and understanding of his past.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to investigate the abandoned building and find clues to his past. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in solving the mystery.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both in the mysterious crime scene and the tense interaction between Leonard and Teddy. The stakes are raised with the discovery of bullets in the pickup truck.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with obstacles and challenges that keep the audience guessing about the outcome.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, with the discovery of a crime scene, memory loss, and the tense interaction between the characters. The danger and mystery add to the sense of urgency.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing key elements of the plot, setting up the mystery, and hinting at the characters' motivations and conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unreliable narrator and unexpected twists in the investigation.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of memory and truth. Leonard's struggle with his own memories and the unreliable nature of his reality challenges his beliefs and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes tension and suspense, leading to an emotional impact on the audience. The mystery and danger surrounding the characters add to the emotional depth.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is tense and mysterious, adding to the overall suspense of the scene. It effectively conveys the uneasy dynamic between Leonard and Teddy.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its suspenseful atmosphere, dramatic reveals, and intense character interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected format for a mystery/crime genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene opens with a vivid and intense image of Leonard holding a polaroid photo of a bloody corpse, which immediately grabs the audience's attention. However, the transition from the color sequence to the black and white sequence is a bit abrupt and may confuse viewers.
  • The use of flashbacks and different color sequences adds depth to the storytelling but can be a bit disorienting if not executed smoothly.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Teddy in the derelict building feels a bit forced and expository. It could benefit from more natural and nuanced interactions to make the characters feel more authentic.
  • The actions of Leonard inspecting the pickup truck and finding bullets inside are intriguing, but the significance of these discoveries could be clearer to the audience.
  • The tension between Leonard and Teddy is palpable, but the scene could use more subtext and subtlety in their interactions to create a more layered dynamic between the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transition between color sequences to make it smoother and more seamless for the audience.
  • Work on making the dialogue between Leonard and Teddy more natural and less expository, focusing on creating authentic interactions between the characters.
  • Clarify the significance of Leonard finding bullets in the pickup truck to ensure the audience understands the implications of this discovery.
  • Add more subtext and nuance to the interactions between Leonard and Teddy to deepen the complexity of their relationship and create a more engaging dynamic.



Scene 2 -  Leonard's Revenge
4 INT. DERELICT BUILDING — DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 4
Leonard stands in the dimly-lit, decaying former hallway. He
pulls a stack of POLAROID PHOTOGRAPHS out of his pocket and
leafs through them as Teddy starts walking towards him.
Leonard finds a photo showing Teddy with a shit-eating grin
standing in front of the pickup truck. On the broad white
strip beneath the photo is handwritten:
“TEDDY GAMMELL TEL. 555 0134”
Leonard flips the photo over. On the white strip on the back,
in the same small handwriting.




(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
3.
4 CONTINUED: 4
“DON’T LISTEN TO HIS LIES”
“HE IS THE ONE”
“KILL HIM”
LEONARD (V.0.) *
I’ve finally found him. How long have I *
been looking? *
Leonard stuffs the Polaroids back into his pocket, reaches
around to the back of his waistband and draws a HANDGUN,
keeping it out of Teddy’s line of sight. Teddy enters, wary.
TEDDY
Find anything? Didn’t think so, let’s go,
yeah?
Leonard neither replies nor turns around. Teddy, worried,
affects a casual air, shrugging dismissively,
TEDDY (cont’d)
Fuck this.
Teddy turns and heads for the door. Leonard LEAPS on him,
pistol-whipping him furiously as he shouts:
LEONARD
YOU PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID! YOU BEG
FORGIVENESS, THEN YOU PAY!
Teddy is down. Leonard DRAGS him back, deeper into the dark
house. Leonard is in a frenzy. He dumps Teddy at the end of
the hall and stands over him. Teddy SPITS BLOOD.
TEDDY
You don’t have a clue, you freak.
Leonard crouches down and grabs Teddy by the lapels.
LEONARD
Beg my forgiveness! Beg my wife’s
forgiveness before I blow your brains
out!
TEDDY
Leonard, you don’t have a clue what’s
going on. You don’t even know my name.
LEONARD
(triumphant smile)
Teddy!
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
3A.
4 CONTINUED: (2) 4

TEDDY
You read it off your fucking photo. You
don’t know me, you don’t even know who
you are.




(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
4.
4 CONTINUED: (2) 4
LEONARD
I’m Leonard Shelby, I’m from San
Francisco and I’m –
TEDDY
(bloody grin)
That’s who you were, you don’t know who
you are.
LEONARD
Shut your mouth!
TEDDY
Lemme take you down in the basement and
show you what you’ve become.
Teddy gestures towards the basement door, in pain, but
enjoying Leonard’s growing anxiety.
TEDDY (cont’d)
(intimate)
C’mon, Lenny – we’ll take a look down
there together. Then you’ll know. You’ll
know what you really are.
Leonard glances fearfully at the door, then looks at Teddy.
He THRUSTS the barrel of his gun into Teddy’s mouth and WE
ARE AT THE SHOT FROM THE END OF THE OPENING SEQUENCE. Teddy
panics, shaking his head, trying to talk around the metal,
but GAGS just as Leonard pulls the trigger. A SHOT rings out
as we –
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary In the derelict hallway of a decaying building, Leonard confronts Teddy. Driven by a thirst for revenge, Leonard pistol-whips Teddy and threatens him with a gun. Teddy desperately tries to reason with Leonard, claiming ignorance of his true identity. As the tension escalates, Leonard places the gun in Teddy's mouth, leaving the scene on a chilling note.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Complex characters
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Violent resolution
  • Potentially confusing for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, with intense dialogue and a shocking climax that leaves a lasting impression on the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss and identity crisis adds depth to the scene, creating a sense of unease and mystery.

Plot: 9

The plot is gripping, with tension building steadily throughout the scene towards a dramatic climax.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the theme of revenge, with a unique twist on the protagonist's journey of self-discovery. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Leonard and Teddy are well-developed, with conflicting motivations and a complex dynamic that drives the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Both Leonard and Teddy undergo significant changes during the scene, revealing new layers to their characters.

Internal Goal: 9

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to confront Teddy and seek revenge for past wrongs. This reflects his deeper need for closure and justice, as well as his fear of not knowing the truth about himself.

External Goal: 8

Leonard's external goal is to physically confront Teddy and potentially harm him. This reflects the immediate challenge of facing his past and seeking resolution.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

The conflict between Leonard and Teddy is intense and drives the scene forward, leading to a shocking resolution.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting motivations and actions between the characters that create uncertainty and suspense for the audience.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are high, with the characters' lives on the line and the tension escalating to a breaking point.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, revealing key information and setting up future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' motivations and actions, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between revenge and self-discovery. Leonard's desire for revenge clashes with Teddy's assertion that Leonard doesn't truly know himself.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, with fear, anger, and confusion palpable throughout.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is intense and impactful, revealing the inner turmoil of the characters and driving the conflict to a boiling point.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense dialogue and action, as well as the high emotional stakes for the characters. The conflict and suspense keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a gradual build-up of tension leading to a climactic confrontation. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences enhances the effectiveness of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing the readability and impact of the action sequences.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic confrontation between the characters.


Critique
  • The scene is intense and violent, which fits the overall tone of the script, but it may be too abrupt and lacking in buildup.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Teddy feels a bit forced and cliched, especially with lines like 'YOU PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID! YOU BEG FORGIVENESS, THEN YOU PAY!'
  • The interaction between Leonard and Teddy could benefit from more subtlety and nuance to make it more engaging and believable.
  • The transition from Leonard finding incriminating Polaroids to immediately attacking Teddy feels rushed and could use more development to build tension and suspense.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere of the derelict building and the characters' emotions.
  • The revelation at the end of the scene, where Leonard threatens Teddy with a gun, feels predictable and lacks a sense of surprise or intrigue.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more layers to the conflict between Leonard and Teddy, building up to the moment of violence for a more impactful payoff.
  • Work on refining the dialogue to make it more natural and less melodramatic, focusing on the characters' motivations and emotions.
  • Explore different ways to escalate the tension in the scene, perhaps by introducing unexpected twists or revelations.
  • Include more sensory details and vivid imagery to immerse the audience in the setting and the characters' experiences.
  • Consider adding moments of introspection or vulnerability for the characters to add depth and complexity to their interactions.



Scene 3 -  Anterograde Amnesia
5 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 5
Leonard lies on the queen-sized bed. He lifts his head.
LEONARD (V.O.)
So you’re in some motel room...
He gets up, surveys the room as if for the first time. He
wears BOXERS and a PLAID WORK SHIRT.
LEONARD (cont’d)
... you don’t know how long you’ve been
there, or how you got there...
There is a room key on the dresser. The plastic tag
identifies it as the key to ROOM 21. Leonard opens drawers in
the room.



(CONTINUED)
5.
5 CONTINUED: 5
LEONARD (cont’d)
Just some anonymous motel room. Won’t
tell you anything. Nothing in the
drawers, but you look anyway.
He reaches for the bedside table drawer.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Nothing except the Gideon Bible.
He opens the drawer to find a Gideon Bible.
CUT TO:
6 INT. DISCOUNT INN OFFICE - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 6
E.C.U. of fingers rifling bills in a wallet. Leonard counts
out some money and hands it to the fat, sweaty middle—aged
man behind the counter. (BURT). Burt takes the money,
spotting something over Leonard’s shoulder.
BURT
That guy’s here already.
Burt TAPS the POLAROID PHOTOGRAPH of Teddy which is sitting
on the counter. Leonard picks up the photo and turns to see
Teddy APPROACHING the glass door of the office. Leonard
watches carefully as Teddy shambles up to the office door. A
BELL CHIIIES as Teddy enters and breaks into his shit-eating
grin. Leonard slips the photo into his pocket.
TEDDY
Lenny!
Leonard nods in apparent recognition, wary.
LEONARD
It’s Leonard... like I told you before.
Teddy pretends to think hard.
TEDDY
Did you? I musta forgot. I’m Teddy. *
LEONARD
(smiles)
I guess I’ve told you about my condition.
Teddy grins and holds the door open for Leonard.
TEDDY
Only every time I see ya!


MEMENTO Pink Revision - 9/7/99
6.
7 EXT. DISCOUNT INN CAR PARK - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 7
Teddy starts for a GREY SEDAN. Leonard pauses behind him.
LEONARD
My car.
Teddy glances back in surprise.
TEDDY
This is your car.
LEONARD
(shakes head)
You’re in a playful mood.
Leonard holds up a Polaroid of a late model JAGUAR.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Shouldn’t make fun of somebody’s *
handicap.
Teddy smiles and heads for the BRAND-NEW JAGUAR parked
several cars further down.
TEDDY
Just trying to have a little fun.
8 INT. CAR - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 8
Leonard drives, Teddy admires the new car’ s interior,
reaching down around the seats, exploring the car with his
hands.
TEDDY
Roll your window up, will ya?
Leonard hits his window button. A few fragments of safety
glass rise out of the door, remnants of a broken window.
LEONARD
It’s broken.
Teddy looks, curious.
TEDDY
I can get that fixed for you.
Leonard shrugs.
TEDDY (cont’d)
So where are we going, Sherlock?


(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
6A.
8 CONTINUED: 8
Leonard fishes a note out of his pocket.




(CONTINUED)

MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
7.
8 CONTINUED: (2) 8
LEONARD
I got a lead on a place.
Leonard checks the note, then hands it to Teddy.
TEDDY
(surprised at the note)
What the hell you want to go there for?
LEONARD
You know it?
TEDDY
Yeah, it’s just this fucked-up building. *
Why are we going there?
LEONARD
(smiling)
I don’t remember.
9 EXT. CONTINUOUS - DERELICT BUILDING — DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>9
The Jaguar crosses the railroad tracks and approaches the
DERELICT BUILDING. Leonard stops the car next to the PICKUP
TRUCK and kills the engine, staring at the pickup.
LEONARD
Looks like somebody’s home.
10 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 10
Leonard, wearing BOXERS and PLAID WORK SHIRT, takes the
GIDEON BIBLE out off the open bedside table drawer.
LEONARD (V.0.)
Nothing except the Gideon Bible.
He leafs through a couple off pages, then DROPS the Bible back
into the drawer and shuts it. He notices a MESSAGE written on
the back off his hand:
“REMEMBER SAMMY JANKIS”
LEONARD (cont’d)
Sammy Jankis had the same problem. He *
tried writing himself notes. Lots of *
notes. But he’d get confused.
Leonard licks his thumb, and rubs at the writing. To
Leonard’s surprise, IT DOES NOT EVEN SMUDGE.
He notices his bare legs. There is a NOTE taped to his RIGHT
THIGH with a handwritten message:
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
8.
10 CONTINUED: 10

“SHAVE”
Leonard pulls the note off, studying it carefully.
CUT TO:
11 INT. DISCOUNT INN ROOM 304 – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 11 *
Close on the Polaroid of Teddy. Leonard flips it over. On the
back are the messages:
“DON’T BELIEVE HIS LIES”
“HE IS THE ONE”
Leonard writes another message beneath these two:
“KILL HIM”
He sticks the photo of Teddy BETWEEN HIS TEETH as he holds
his HANDGUN up and checks that it is loaded. He sticks the
GUN in the back of his waistband, the PHOTO in his jacket
pocket, slings the POLAROID CAMERA over his shoulder.
12 EXT. DISCOUNT INN – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 12 *
Leonard leaves room 304 and heads to the office. He pauses
just outside the glass door, breathing, psyching himself up.
13 INT. DISCOUNT INN OFFICE – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 13 *
Leonard enters , confident, smiling at the man behind the
desk, BURT (fat, sweaty, 40’s). Burt smiles back.
BURT
Hiya.
LEONARD
I’m Mr. Shelby from 304.
BURT
What can I do for you, Leonard?
LEONARD
I’m sorry... um... ?
BURT
Burt.
LEONARD
Burt, I’m not sure, but I may have asked
you to hold my calls –
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
9.
13 CONTINUED: 13
BURT
You don’t know?
LEONARD
I think I may have. I’m not good on the
phone.
BURT
(nods)
You said you like to look people in the
eye when you talk to them. Don’t you
remember?
LEONARD
That’s the thing. I have this condition.
BURT
Condition?
LEONARD
I have no memory.
BURT
Amnesia?
LEONARD
No. It’s different. I have no short-term
memory. I know who I am and all about
myself, but since my injury I can’t make
any new memories. Everything fades. If we
talk for too long, I’ll forget how we
started. I don’t know if we’ve ever met
before, and the next time I see you I
won’t remember this conversation. So if I
seem strange or rude, that’s probably...
He notices that Burt is staring at him as if he were an
exotic insect.
LEONARD (cont’d)
I’ve told you this before, haven’t I?
BURT
(nods)
I don’t mean to mess with you. It’s just
so weird. You don’t remember me at all,
and we talked a bunch of times.
Leonard shrugs.
BURT (cont’d)
What’s the last thing you remember?


(CONTINUED)
10.
13 CONTINUED: (2) 13
Leonard looks through Burt, thinking.
LEONARD
My wife.
BURT
(fascinated)
What’s it like?
LEONARD
Like waking. Like you always just woke
up. *
BURT
That must suck. All... backwards. *
Leonard raises his eyebrows in enquiry. *
BURT (cont’d) *
Well, like.. you gotta pretty good idea *
of what you’re gonna do next, but no idea *
what you just did. *
(chuckles) *
I’m the exact opposite. *
LEONARD
(focuses on Burt)
How long have I been here?
BURT
Couple days.
LEONARD
So you’re holding my calls?
BURT
As requested.
Leonard reaches into his pocket and pulls out his Polaroids
LEONARD
Okay, but this guy’s an exception.
Leonard places the Polaroid of Teddy on the counter in front
of Burt. Burt looks at it.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Know this guy?
BURT
Your friend, right?

(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
10A.
13 CONTINUED: (3) 13
LEONARD
What makes you think he’s my friend?
BURT
Seen you together, that’s all.
LEONARD
He’s not my friend, Burt. But if he
calls, or if he turns up here, then you
give me a call in my room, okay?




(CONTINUED)
11.
13 CONTINUED: (3) 13
BURT
Sure. But nobody else, right?
LEONARD
Just this guy.
Leonard indicates the Polaroid of Teddy.
LEONARD (cont’d)
I hope my condition won’t be a problem
for you.
BURT
Not if you remember to pay your bill.
Leonard smiles and reaches into his wallet.
E.C.U. of fingers rifling bills in a wallet. Leonard counts
out some money and hands it to Burt. Burt takes the money,
spotting something over Leonard’s shoulder.
BURT (cont’d)
That guy’s here already.
Burt TAPS the POLAROID PHOTOGRAPH of Teddy which is sitting
on the counter. Leonard picks up the photo and turns to see
Teddy APPROACHING the glass door of the office.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Leonard, an amnesiac, awakens in a motel room and encounters Teddy, a dubious character. Teddy claims knowledge of Leonard's wife's killer's whereabouts, but Leonard's skepticism leads him to write a self-reminder to eliminate Teddy.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive exposition
  • Slightly predictable confrontation

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and sets up a confrontational dynamic between the characters. The use of the protagonist's memory condition adds depth to the dialogue and conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a protagonist with short-term memory loss navigating a tense confrontation is engaging and unique. The use of Polaroid photos and notes as memory aids is a clever storytelling device.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Leonard confronts Teddy and the tension between them escalates. The scene sets up a significant conflict that will likely impact the story moving forward.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases originality through its unconventional structure, use of Polaroid photographs as a narrative device, and exploration of memory loss in a noir setting. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters of Leonard and Teddy are well-developed, with distinct personalities and conflicting motivations. Their interactions drive the tension and conflict in the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both Leonard and Teddy undergo changes in their dynamic as the confrontation unfolds. Leonard's aggression and Teddy's manipulative behavior reveal new facets of their characters.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal is to piece together his fragmented memory and understand his condition. He is driven by a deep need to uncover the truth about his past and his identity.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to track down a mysterious figure named Teddy and potentially confront him. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of navigating his memory loss and the people around him.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard and Teddy is palpable and drives the scene forward. The escalating tension and the threat of violence add to the high stakes.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Teddy serving as a mysterious and potentially dangerous figure who challenges Leonard's perception of reality. The audience is left wondering about Teddy's true intentions and how Leonard will navigate this obstacle.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident in the escalating tension and the threat of violence between Leonard and Teddy. The outcome of their confrontation could have significant consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a major conflict between the characters and setting up future developments. It raises questions and keeps the audience engaged.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the constant shifts in Leonard's memory, the mysterious nature of Teddy, and the blurred lines between reality and perception. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the nature of memory, identity, and truth. Leonard's condition challenges his beliefs about himself and the world, leading to a constant struggle between reality and perception.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, anxiety, and unease. The confrontation between Leonard and Teddy creates a sense of foreboding and suspense.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, tense, and reveals important information about the characters and their relationship. The back-and-forth between Leonard and Teddy keeps the audience engaged.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intriguing premise, complex characters, and suspenseful atmosphere. The audience is drawn into Leonard's journey to uncover the truth about his past.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a mix of slow moments of introspection and fast-paced interactions between characters. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue cues that guide the reader through the narrative.

Structure: 8

The structure follows the expected format for a mystery thriller genre, with a mix of black and white sequences, color sequences, and fragmented storytelling that keeps the audience engaged.


Critique
  • The scene transitions from a black and white sequence to a color sequence, which can be confusing for the audience and disrupt the flow of the story.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Burt in the Discount Inn office feels a bit forced and expository, lacking naturalness and depth.
  • The interaction between Leonard and Teddy in the car lacks tension and fails to build on the conflict established in the previous scenes.
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose, with Leonard's actions and decisions feeling random and disconnected.
  • The pacing of the scene is slow and lacks momentum, making it difficult to engage the audience and move the story forward.
Suggestions
  • Consider streamlining the transition between black and white and color sequences to maintain consistency in the visual style.
  • Focus on creating more natural and dynamic dialogue between Leonard and Burt to deepen their characters and relationships.
  • Intensify the conflict between Leonard and Teddy in the car by adding more tension and stakes to their interaction.
  • Clarify Leonard's motivations and goals in the scene to give it a clearer sense of purpose and direction.
  • Increase the pace of the scene by tightening the dialogue and action to keep the audience engaged and propel the story forward.



Scene 4 -  The Revelation
14 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 14
Leonard, in boxer shorts and plaid work shirt, rips the note
from his thigh. The note says “SHAVE”.
15 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 BATHROOM – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE 15
SEQUENCE##
Leonard enters, sees a WHITE PAPER BAG on the counter by the
sink. On the bag is a handwritten message:
“SHAVE THIGH”
Leonard looks into the bag, then pulls out a can of SHAVING
FOAM, and a pack of DISPOSABLE RAZORS. He runs the hot water,
steps back and lifts his foot onto the sink. He is awkward
and uncomfortable. He notices an ICE BUCKET by the sink.
16 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 16
Leonard sits on the bed applying SHAVING FOAM to his thigh.
The ICE BUCKET sits on the bedside table, steaming.


(CONTINUED)
12.
16 CONTINUED: 16
Leonard starts awkwardly SHAVING his right thigh. The PHONE
RINGS and Leonard FLINCHES, NICKING his leg. He looks at the
phone, then reaches for the receiver.
17 INT. A RESTAURANT RESTROOM - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 17
Leonard, in BEIGE SUIT and BLUE SHIRT flushes the urinal,
then moves to the sink and starts washing his hands. He
notices a MESSAGE written on the back of his hand.
“REMEMBER SAMMY JANKIS”
He stares at the message for a second, thoughtful, then tries
to scrub the writing off his skin. To his surprise, it is
INDELIBLE. Leonard looks at it, quizzical, then notices some
markings on his wrist, pulling his sleeve back to get a
better look. He can read the start of a message:
“THE FACTS:”
Leonard is about to roll his sleeve up further when the
restroom door opens and a MAN enters. Leonard dries his
hands, then exits the rest room.
18 INT. RESTAURANT - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 18
Leonard emerges .nto the waiting area of a crowded
restaurant. He glances around, lost, then pulls out his
Polaroids, flipping through them. Someone taps him on his
shoulder and he turns to see the smiling face of a waiter.
WAITER
Sir? You left these at your table.
Leonard looks down. The waiter hands him a BROWN ENVELOPE and
a MOTEL ROOM KEY (DISCOUNT INN, ROOM 304). On the envelope is
a handwritten message:
“FOR LEONARD, FROM NATALIE”
Leonard looks at his Polaroid photograph of the outside of
the Discount Inn motel. There is an address written beneath
it (7254 Lincoln Street). *
LEONARD
Thanks. Lincoln Street?
The Waiter glances at his Polaroid.
WAITER
You wanna go east on sixth.
(points)
Just keep straight, all the way out of
town, then take a right.
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
13.
19 EXT./INT. JAGUAR – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 19
Leonard drives, consulting his Polaroid photos.
20 EXT. DISCOUNT INN ROOM 304 – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 20 *
Leonard, BROWN ENVELOPE in hand, finds the door to room 304.
21 INT. DISCOUNT INN ROOM 304 – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 21 *
Leonard enters, looks around as if for the first time. An
anonymous motel room, except that tacked to one wall is a
HAND-DRAWN CHART showing the layout of some streets, and
stuck to the edges of the chart are POLAROID PHOTOGRAPHS,
with ARROWS DRAWN from each photograph to a spot on the map.
Leonard inspects the photos. Some are buildings, some are
people. All have the HANDWRITTEN NOTES on the broad white strip
underneath the image.
Leonard gets Polaroids out of his pocket. The first one is of
the Discount Inn. He STICKS it onto an already-squashed lump *
of blue tack at the end of an ARROW drawn from a location on
the outskirts of town.
The second photo is a blurred shot of a Brunette turning in a
doorway. The name NATALIE is written under the picture.
Leonard flips it over. On the back are two handwritten
messages. The first one has been completely scribbled over,
but the other one reads:
“SHE HAS ALSO LOST SOMEONE, SHE WILL HELP YOU OUT OF PITY”
Leonard nods, then sticks the photo to the chart. He steps
back looking over the Polaroids one by one: Natalie, Burt,
Discount Inn, Teddy. *
Leonard sits at the desk and opens the BROWN ENVELOPE. He
takes out a photocopy of a CAR REGISTRATION and a DRIVER’S
LICENSE. Both are in the name of JOHN EDWARD GAMMELL, but *
when Leonard looks at the picture on the license, he
recognizes the face. Leonard moves back to his wall chart,
finds the Polaroid of Teddy and compares it to the license
photo.
LEONARD (V.O.)
This guy told me his name was Teddy.
He turns the photo over and examines the white stop on the
back. It says only:
“DON’T BELIEVE HIS LIES”


(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
14.
21 CONTINUED: 21
Leonard smiles. He goes to the phone and dials the number on
the Polaroid. A couple of rings, then it’s answered.
TEDDY
Yup?
LEONARD
Mr Gammell?
TEDDY
Lenny, is that you?
LEONARD
John Gammell?
TEDDY
Lenny, it’s Teddy. Look, stay there,
okay? I’m gonna be right over.
LEONARD
I’ll be waiting. *
Leonard hangs up, thinking. He looks at the writing on the
back of his hand, then pulls back his sleeve to reveal the words:
“THE FACTS:”
Leonard removes his jacket, then starts pulling off his shirt.
He has WRITING TATTOOED ALL OVER HIS CHEST, STOMACH AND ARMS.
MESSAGES in different styles of writing, some CRUDE, some
ELABORATE. The messages run in all directions, some UPSIDE-
DOWN, some BACKWARDS. Leonard examines his tattoos,
methodically. From Leonard’s POV, the most striking is an
upside—down tattoo on his BELLY which says:
“PHOTOGPAPH: HOUSE, CAR, FRIEND, FOE”
On one FOREARM it says:
“THE FACTS:
FACT 1. MALE
FACT 2. WHITE”
On the other FOREARM:
“FACT 3. FIRST NAME: JOHN OR JAMES
FACT 4. LASTNAME: G-------”
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
15.
21 CONTINUED: (2) 21
Leonard pulls down his trousers. On his right THIGH, crudely-
lettered:
“FACT 5. DRUG DEALER”
And immediately below this, in elegant, neat lettering:
“FACT 6. CAR LICENSE NUMBER: SG13 7IU” *
Leonard takes out the REGISTRATION DOCUMENT and examines it.
Holding the photo of Teddy and the registration document,
Leonard checks off his TATTOOED FACTS:
LEONARD (cont’d)
(under his breath)
White... male. First name... John. Last
name... G for Gammell. Drugs. License *
plate.
(checks document against tattoo
on thigh)
SG... 13... 7... IU. It’s him. It’s *
actually him.
Leonard looks coldly at Teddy’s smiling image.
LEONARD (cont’d)
I found you, you fuck.
Leonard turns the photo face down, takes a pen and writes:
“HE IS THE ONE”
Leonard drops the pen. Thinks. He looks at his chest through
the mirror and a backwards tattoo suddenly BECOMES CLEAR:
“JOHN G. RAPED AND MURDERED MY WIFE”
Leonard buttons his blue shirt, then writes on the back of
Teddy’s picture:
“KILL HIM”
Leonard sticks the photo of Teddy BETWEEN HIS TEETH as he
holds his HANDGUN up and checks that it is loaded. He sticks
the GUN in the back of his waistband.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary In a motel room, Leonard discovers tattoos on his body with cryptic messages, linking him to a man named John Edward Gammell. Realizing Gammell is the same man as Teddy, Leonard writes 'Kill him' on a photo of Teddy and prepares to take action.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Revealing character development
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too dark or intense for sensitive viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with intense moments, emotional depth, and significant revelations that drive the plot forward.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene is strong, focusing on the protagonist's discovery of key information through his tattoos and the buildup to a confrontation with Teddy.

Plot: 9

The plot is well-developed, with the revelation of Teddy's true identity and Leonard's decision to confront him adding depth and tension to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its approach to storytelling, with the use of Polaroid photographs, handwritten notes, and tattoos as key elements of the narrative. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are compelling, especially Leonard with his anterograde amnesia and determination to uncover the truth about Teddy.

Character Changes: 8

Leonard undergoes a significant change as he uncovers the truth about Teddy and prepares to confront him, showing his determination and resolve.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about his identity and past. This reflects his deeper need for closure and understanding of his own history.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to track down a man named Teddy and seek revenge for his wife's murder. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in his quest for justice.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard and Teddy reaches a peak in this scene, with high stakes and emotional intensity.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with obstacles and challenges that keep the audience guessing about the protagonist's next move.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Leonard confronts Teddy, risking his safety and potentially uncovering the truth about his past.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, revealing crucial information and setting up the next major plot development.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and revelations in the protagonist's journey, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the protagonist's struggle between seeking revenge and finding forgiveness. This challenges his beliefs about justice and morality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly fear, tension, and anticipation, keeping the audience engaged.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful, revealing key information and building tension between Leonard and Teddy.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its suspenseful atmosphere, mysterious elements, and the protagonist's quest for truth and justice.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of slower moments of introspection and faster-paced action sequences.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions of actions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and a focus on the protagonist's actions and discoveries.


Critique
  • The scene transitions from a black and white sequence to a color sequence, which can be jarring for the audience and disrupt the flow of the narrative.
  • The scene is heavy on exposition and description, which can slow down the pacing and make it less engaging for the audience.
  • There is a lack of emotional depth and character development in this scene, making it feel more like a checklist of actions rather than a meaningful interaction between the characters.
  • The dialogue is minimal and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to delve into the complex relationship between Leonard and Teddy.
  • The visual descriptions are detailed but may be too focused on the physical actions of the characters rather than their emotional states or motivations.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to the scene by exploring the internal struggles and conflicts of the characters.
  • Focus on developing the dialogue to reveal more about the characters' motivations and relationships.
  • Streamline the exposition and description to maintain a better pacing and keep the audience engaged.
  • Introduce more dynamic elements such as conflict, tension, or unexpected twists to make the scene more compelling.
  • Consider incorporating more visual storytelling techniques to convey the characters' emotions and inner thoughts.



Scene 5 -  Memory and Vengeance
22 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 22
Leonard, in his boxers and plaid work shirt, shaving foam on
thigh, drops his disposable razor and cautiously picks up the
RINGING PHONE.

(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
16.
22 CONTINUED: 22
LEONARD
Who is this?
(listens) *
He unbuttons his shirt.
LEONARD (cont’d)
And we spoke earlier? I don’t remember *
that.
(listens)
Well, yeah, but it’s not amnesia. I *
remember everything from before my
injury, I just can’t make any new
memories.
(listens)
Leonard pulls his shirt off. There is a BANDAGE on his LEFT
ARM. He looks do at the TATTOOS ALL OVER HIS CHEST, STOMACH *
AND ARMS.
LEONARD (cont’d)
So I can’t remember talking to you. What
did we talk about?
(nods)
Sammy Jankis. Yeah, I guess I tell
people about Sammy to help them
understand. Sammy’s story helps me
understand my own situation.
Leonard touches the tattoo on the back of his hand.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Sammy Jankis wrote himself endless
notes. But he’d get mixed up. I’ve got a
more graceful solution to the memory
problem. I’m disciplined and organized.
I use habit and routine to make my life
possible. Sammy had no drive. No reason
to make it work.
Leonard can see his reflection in the mirror. He studies the
tattoo across his chest:
“JOHN G. RAPED AND MURDERED MY WIFE”.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Me? I gotta reason.




MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
17.
23 EXT. THE CITY GRILL ON MAIN ST. - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 23
Leonard parks the Jaguar, gets out, stops outside the door to
a restaurant, checking its name against a NOTE, written on a *
SMALL PAPER BAG FROM A PHARMACY. The note says: *
“CITY GRILL, MAIN ST. THURSDAY, 1.OOPM MEET NATALIE FOR INFO”
He sticks the note in his pocket and pulls out his Polaroid
photographs. He flips through them until he finds Natalie’s.
Leonard flips the picture over. On the back are two
handwritten messages. The first one has been completely
scribbled over, the second reads:
“SHE HAS ALSO LOST SOMEONE, SHE WILL HELP YOU OUT OF PITY”
24 INT. THE CITY GRILL ON MAIN STREET - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 24
Leonard enters, walking slowly down the aisle, looking at all
the customers. He makes eye contact with a WOMAN (brunette,
30’s) sitting alone, wearing SUNGLASSES. Her face betrays *
nothing. Leonard walks past. She sighs and grabs the back of
his jacket as he passes. Leonard spins around.
LEONARD
Natalie.
Leonard slips into the seat opposite her. Natalie is pretty,
but has bruising around one eye, and a mark on her lip.
NATALIE
You don’t remember me.
LEONARD
(friendly smile)
Sorry, I should have explained. You see,
I have this condition -
NATALIE
You did explain, Lenny.
Leonard shifts uncomfortably.
LEONARD
Please call me Leonard. My wife called me
Lenny.
NATALIE
You told me.
Leonard raises his eyebrows, then smiles.

(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
18.
24 CONTINUED: 24
LEONARD
Then I probably told you how much I hated
it. Could you take off your sunglasses? *
It’s just hard for me - *
Natalie takes them off to reveal her bruises. *
NATALIE
Yeah.
LEONARD
So you have information for me?
NATALIE
Is that what your little note says?
LEONARD
Yes.
NATALIE
Must be tough living life according to a
few scraps of paper. Mix up your laundry
list and your grocery list, you’ll be
eating your underwear.
Natalie smiles.
NATALIE (cont’d)
But I guess that’s why you got those
freaky tattoos.
Leonard is surprised.
LEONARD
It is tough. Almost impossible. I’m sorry
I can’t remember you. It’s not personal.
Natalie’s smile fades.
NATALIE
I’m sorry.
She takes a BROWN ENVELOPE out of her handbag.
NATALIE (cont’d)
I do have information for you. You gave
me a license plate number? I had my
friend at the DMV trace it. Guess what name came up.
Leonard shrugs.


(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
18A.
24 CONTINUED: (2) 24
NATALIE (cont’d)
John Edward Gamme11. John G.




(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
19.
24 CONTINUED: (3) 24
LEONARD
You know him?
NATALIE
No. But the photo on his license looked
familiar. I think he’s been in the bar before
Natalie slides the envelope towards him, but stops short.
NATALIE (cont’d)
This is a copy of his registration,
license, photo and all. Are you sure you
want this?
LEONARD
Have I told you what this man did? *
NATALIE
Yes.
LEONARD
Then you shouldn’t have to ask.
NATALIE
But even if you get your revenge, you
won’t remember it. You won’t even know
it’s happened.
LEONARD
(annoyed) *
So I’ll take a picture, get a tattoo. *
(calms) *
The world doesn’t disappear when you *
close your eyes, does it? My actions *
still have meaning, even if I can’t *
remember them. My wife deserves *
vengeance, and it doesn’t make any *
difference whether I know about it. *
NATALIE
Tell me about her again.
LEONARD
Why?
NATALIE
Because you like to remember her. I want
to see you enjoy yourself.
LEONARD
She was beautiful. Perfect to me - *

(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
20.
24 CONTINUED: (3) 24
NATALIE
Don’t just recite the words. Close your
eyes, remember her.
Leonard smiles and shuts his eyes.
INSERT FLASHBACK:
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary In a motel room, Leonard, a man with short-term memory loss, prepares to meet Natalie at a restaurant. Leonard confides in Natalie about his condition, emphasizing the importance of routine. They discuss John G., a man connected to Leonard's past. Natalie questions Leonard's pursuit of revenge, highlighting his memory limitations. Despite this, Leonard remains resolute in his quest, even though he knows his memory will erase it. The scene culminates with Leonard closing his eyes, triggering a flashback.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Tension-filled interactions
  • Revealing character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive exposition
  • Limited physical action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds suspense and emotion through the protagonist's interactions with Natalie and his internal struggle with his past. The dialogue is engaging and the revelation of John G.'s identity adds a new layer to the plot.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a protagonist with anterograde amnesia seeking revenge for his wife's murder is intriguing and keeps the audience engaged. The use of tattoos as memory aids adds a unique element to the storytelling.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly with the revelation of John G.'s identity and Leonard's determination to seek revenge. The scene sets up future conflicts and developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on memory loss and revenge, with a unique narrative structure that keeps the audience engaged. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Leonard and Natalie are well-developed, with complex motivations and interactions. Their dynamic adds depth to the scene and foreshadows future conflicts.

Character Changes: 7

Leonard experiences internal conflict and growth as he confronts his past and grapples with his memory loss. The scene sets the stage for further character development and revelations.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to understand his own situation and find a sense of purpose despite his memory loss. He uses the story of Sammy Jankis to help him make sense of his own struggles.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to gather information about a man named John G. who may be connected to his wife's murder. He seeks revenge, even though he knows he won't remember it.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard's desire for revenge and Natalie's warnings about his memory loss creates tension and suspense. The revelation of John G.'s identity raises the stakes and sets up future confrontations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Natalie challenging Leonard's beliefs and motivations. Her skepticism adds depth to the conflict and raises questions about the significance of his actions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Leonard seeks revenge for his wife's murder and confronts the challenges of his memory loss. The revelation of John G.'s identity raises the stakes and sets the stage for intense conflicts.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly by revealing John G.'s identity and setting up future conflicts and confrontations. It advances the plot and keeps the audience engaged.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in Leonard's interactions and revelations. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the story will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of memory and the significance of actions even when they are not remembered. Leonard believes that his actions still have meaning, even if he can't recall them.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The emotional impact of the scene is high, as Leonard grapples with his past and his quest for justice. The interactions between Leonard and Natalie evoke empathy and anticipation for what's to come.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp and engaging, revealing important information about the characters and their motivations. The conversation between Leonard and Natalie drives the scene forward and adds tension.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its tense atmosphere, emotional depth, and intriguing dialogue. The audience is drawn into Leonard's struggles and quest for revenge.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of dialogue and action. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in Leonard's story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The use of flashbacks adds depth to the narrative.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scene, making it slightly disjointed for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Natalie feels a bit forced and unnatural, especially when discussing Leonard's memory condition.
  • The exposition about Sammy Jankis feels a bit heavy-handed and could be integrated more smoothly into the conversation.
  • The interaction between Leonard and Natalie could be more dynamic and engaging to hold the audience's attention.
  • The visual descriptions of Leonard examining his tattoos could be more impactful to convey the significance of his memory cues.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition from the previous scene to set the tone and context for Leonard's conversation with Natalie.
  • Work on making the dialogue between Leonard and Natalie more natural and reflective of their characters' personalities.
  • Integrate the exposition about Sammy Jankis more organically into the conversation to avoid it feeling like an info dump.
  • Enhance the interaction between Leonard and Natalie by adding more depth to their conversation and emotional connection.
  • Revise the visual descriptions to make Leonard's examination of his tattoos more visually striking and symbolic of his memory cues.



Scene 6 -  Uncovering Clues and Confusion
25 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 25
Random images of a woman (30’s, black hair, plain). Jump cuts
of details: a smile, eating, tucking her hair behind her ear,
pulling on a pair of trousers, watching TV, shouting in
anger. Sitting on the edge of the bed in her underwear, she
TURNS as Leonard pinches her thigh.
LEONARD (V.O.)
You can only feel details. Bits and
pieces which you didn’t bother to put
into words. And extreme moments you feel
even if you don’t want to. Put it
together and you get the feel of the
person, enough to know how much you miss
them, and how much you hate the person
who took them away.
26 INT. CITY GRILL – DAY - <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 26
Leonard opens his eyes. Natalie is looking at him. She nods
and hands him the BROWN ENVELOPE.
NATALIE
I wrote an address in there, too. Might
be useful. It’s this abandoned place
outside of town. I guy I know used to use
it for his bigger deals.
LEONARD
Deals?
NATALIE
It’s isolated.
LEONARD
Sounds perfect? What do I owe you?
NATALIE
I wasn’t helping you for money.
LEONARD
Sorry.



(CONTINUED)
21.
26 CONTINUED: 26
NATALIE
It’s not your fault. See, you have this
condition...
Leonard smiles. Natalie reaches into her purse and pulls out
a MOTEL ROOM KEY.
NATALIE (cont’d)
Are you still at the Discount Inn? Room *
304? You left this at my place.
Leonard pulls out a Polaroid of the Discount Inn. *
LEONARD
The Discount Inn, yeah. *
Natalie leaves the key and gets up from the table.
NATALIE
They treating you alright?
LEONARD
(smiling)
Don’t remember.
NATALIE
You know what we have in common?
Leonard shrugs.
NATALIE (cont’d)
We’re both survivors. Take care, Leonard.
Leonard watches Natalie leave. He sits at the table, looking
down at the BROWN ENVELOPE and the MOTEL ROOM KEY (ROOM 304).
Leonard rises, and heads to the restroom.
27 INT. RESTAURANT RESTROOM – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 27
Leonard flushes the urinal, then moves to the sink and starts
washing his hands. He notices a MESSAGE written on the back
of his hand:
“REMEMBER SAMMY JANKIS”
27 CONTINUED: 27
He stares at the message for a second, thoughtful, then tries
to scrub the writing off his skin. To his surprise, it is
INDELIBLE. Leonard looks at it, quizzical, then notices some
markings on his wrists, pulling his sleeve back to get a
better look. He can read the start of a message:
“THE FACTS:”
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
22.
27 CONTINUED: 27
Leonard is about to roll his sleeve up further when the
restroom door opens and a MAN enters. Leonard dries his
hands, then exits the rest room.
28 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 28
Leonard (IN BOXERS, BANDAGED ARM) talks on the phone. He *
resumes SHAVING his thigh.
LEONARD
I met Sammy through work.
(listens)
Insurance. I was an investigator. I’d *
investigate claims to see which ones *
were phony. *
Leonard dips the razor into the steaming ice bucket. *
LEONARD (cont’d)
I had to see through people’s bullshit.
It was useful experience, because now
it’s my life. When I meet someone, I
don’t even know if I’ve met them before.
I have to look in their eyes and just
figure them out. My job taught me that
the best way to find out what someone
knew was to let them talk.
29 INT. LEONARD‘S OFFICE - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 29
Montage: Leonard, wearing a CHEAP DARK SUIT and TIE, sitting
opposite various DIFFERENT PEOPLE in an interview situation.
LEONARD(V.0.)
Throw in the occasional “why?” but just
listen. And watch the eyes, the body *
language.
Leonard watches the people’s movements carefully. We see
close—ups off fiddling hands, neck scratching, etc.
LEONARD (V.0.) (cont’d)
It’s complicated. You might catch a sign
but attach the wrong meaning to it. If
someone touches their nose while they’re
talking, experts will tell you it means
they’re lying. It really means they’re
nervous, and people get nervous for all
sorts of reasons. It’s all about context.




MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
23.
30 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 30
LEONARD (cont’d)
I was good. Sammy was my first real
challenge.
31 EXT. DISCOUNT INN – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 31 *
The Jaguar pulls up. Leonard gets out and heads to the
office.
32 INT. DISCOUNT INN OFFICE – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 32 *
Burt is behind the counter reading a magazine.
LEONARD
I’m sorry, I think I’m checked in here,
But I’ve misplaced my key.
BURT
(looks up)
Hi, Leonard.
Burt puts his magazine down and gets up, sighing.
BURT (cont’d)
Probably in the room.
33 EXT. DISCOUNT INN – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 33 *
Burt, swinging a pass key on a chain, leads Leonard along the
GROUND FLOOR to room 21, then unlocks it.
34 INT. DISCOUNT INN ROOM 21 – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 34 *
Leonard enters and SCANS the room. Burt picks his nails in
the doorway. Leonard moves to the unmade bed. There is a pile
of BLOODSTAINED TISSUES. On the bedside table is an ICE
BUCKET. Next to it is a DISPOSABLE RAZOR and a can of SHAVING
FOAM.
LEONARD
I don’t see my key.
Burt looks up. He REALIZES something.
BURT
Shit. Wrong room.
LEONARD
What?
Burt tries to SHEPHERD Leonard out of the room.

(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
24.
34 CONTINUED: 34
BURT
This isn’t your room. You’re in 304. I
Fucked up.
LEONARD
This isn’t my room?
BURT
No, let’s go.
LEONARD
Then why is this my handwriting?
Leonard picks a WHITE PAPER BAG up off the floor. Handwritten
on the side is a message:
“SHAVE THIGH”
LEONARD (cont’d)
Better tell me what the fuck’s going on.
Burt looks uncomfortable.
BURT
This was your room. You’re up in 304 now.
LEONARD
When was I in here?
BURT
Last week. Then I rented you another one
On top of this.
LEONARD
Why?
BURT
Business is slow. I told my boss about
You, about your condition. He told me to
Try and rent you another room.
LEONARD
Why didn’t you clean it out? *
BURT
(shrugs)
You’re still paying for it. It’s still
Your room.
Leonard shakes his head, smiling.


(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
25.
34 CONTINUED: (2) 34
LEONARD
So how many rooms am I checked into in
this dump?
BURT
Just two. So far. *
Leonard walks out past Burt.
LEONARD
Well, at least you’re being honest about
cheating me.
BURT
Yeah, well you’re not gonna remember,
anyway.
LEONARD
You don’t have to be that honest, Burt.
BURT
Leonard.
Leonard turns. Burt grins.
BURT (cont’d)
Always get a receipt.
LEONARD
I’m gonna write that down.
Leonard fishes a piece of paper out of his pocket. There is a
message on it which he reads. It says:
“CITY GRILL, MAIN ST. THURSDAY, 1:00PM MEET NATALIE FOR
INFO”
Leonard looks up at Burt.
LEONARD (cont’d)
What time is it?
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Leonard encounters Natalie, who provides him with an address and key to an abandoned meeting place, hinting at their shared past as survivors. He discovers cryptic messages on his hand and wrists, adding to his confusion. Calling Sammy, Leonard struggles to recall their connection. At the motel, Burt's mistake reveals Leonard's old room, triggering a confrontation over multiple room rentals.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Intriguing mystery elements
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more concise
  • Certain plot points may need further clarification

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and mystery through Leonard's interactions with Burt and the discovery of the mysterious messages. It sets up important plot points and introduces key characters, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a protagonist with memory loss navigating a complex web of clues and messages is intriguing and well-executed in this scene. It adds depth to the character of Leonard and sets the stage for further developments.

Plot: 8

The plot thickens as Leonard uncovers more clues about his past and the mysterious circumstances surrounding him. The introduction of Natalie and the revelation about John G add layers to the storyline.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its approach to storytelling, with nonlinear structure, cryptic messages, and enigmatic interactions that keep the audience engaged and guessing.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters of Leonard, Burt, and Natalie are well-defined and their interactions drive the scene forward. Leonard's struggle with memory loss and Burt's shady behavior add depth to the character dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

Leonard undergoes a subtle change as he uncovers more clues about his past and becomes more determined to find the truth. His interactions with Burt and Natalie also hint at potential character growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal is to piece together his memories and understand the truth about his past. This reflects his deeper need for closure, identity, and justice.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to uncover information about an abandoned place outside of town for his investigation. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in solving the mystery of his condition and past.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Leonard and Burt, as well as Leonard's internal conflict due to his memory loss, creates a sense of unease and suspense throughout the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting information, hidden motives, and mysterious characters that create obstacles for Leonard and keep the audience on edge.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high for Leonard as he navigates a web of mystery and deception, unsure of who to trust and what his true identity is. The scene sets up a sense of danger and intrigue.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key information about John G and setting up future plot developments. It keeps the audience engaged and eager to learn more.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its nonlinear structure, cryptic messages, and unexpected plot twists that challenge the audience's expectations and keep them guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of memory, identity, and truth. Leonard's struggle to trust his own memories and perceptions challenges his beliefs about himself and the world around him.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and suspicion to curiosity and determination. Leonard's struggle with his memory loss adds an emotional depth to the narrative.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the characters and their motivations. It effectively conveys the tension and mystery of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mysterious atmosphere, cryptic messages, and enigmatic interactions that keep the audience intrigued and invested in Leonard's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of slow moments for introspection and fast-paced moments for tension and suspense that maintain the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and character names that aid in visualizing the story.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a mix of dialogue, action, and description that effectively conveys the story and character dynamics.


Critique
  • The scene transitions from Leonard's apartment to a restaurant smoothly, but the connection between the two settings could be clearer.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Natalie is informative but lacks depth and emotional resonance.
  • The interaction between Leonard and Burt at the Discount Inn feels rushed and could benefit from more tension and suspense.
  • The revelation about Leonard being checked into multiple rooms is intriguing but could be explored further to add complexity to the character dynamics.
  • The scene lacks a strong emotional impact or a clear sense of direction for Leonard's character development.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to the dialogue between Leonard and Natalie to make their interaction more engaging.
  • Enhance the tension between Leonard and Burt at the Discount Inn by adding more conflict and suspense.
  • Explore the implications of Leonard being checked into multiple rooms at the motel to add layers to his character.
  • Provide clearer transitions between different settings to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Add a stronger emotional arc or character development for Leonard to create a more compelling narrative.



Scene 7 -  City Grill Encounter
35 EXT. ROAD – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 35
The Jaguar speeds along.
36 EXT. THE CITY GRILL ON MAIN STREET – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 36
Leonard checks the restaurant name against the note. He gets
out his Polaroids, FLIPPING through them until he finds the
one of Natalie.



MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
26.
37 INT. THE CITY GRILL ON MAIN STREET - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 37
Leonard walks through the restaurant, checking the patrons.
He makes eye contact with Natalie, but walks past her table.
She sighs and grabs the back of his jacket.
CUT TO:
38 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 38
Leonard (in boxers, bandaged arm) SHAVES his thigh, talking *
on the phone.
LEONARD
I’d just become an investigator when I
came across Sammy. Mr Samuel R. Jankis -
strangest case ever. Guy’s 58, semi-
retired accountant. He and his wife had
been in this car accident... nothing too
serious, but he’s acting funny — he
can’t get a handle on what’s going on.
39 INT. A DOCTOR‘S OFFICE - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 39
A DOCTOR examines SAMMY’S head. SAMMY’S WIFE looks on.
LEONARD(V.O.)
The doctors find some possible damaqe to
the hippocampus, nothing conclusive. But
Sammy can‘t remember anything for more
than a couple minutes. He can’t work,
can’t do shit, medical bills pile up,
his wife calls the insurance company and
I get sent in.
40 INT. JANKIS HOUSE - MESSY SUBURBAN LIVING ROOM - DAY ##BLACK 40
AND WHITE SEQUENCE##
SAMMY sits smoking, smiling at Leonard (CHEAP SUIT and TIE).
LEONARD (V.0.)
My first big claims investigation - I
really check into it. Sammy can think
just fine, but he can’t make any new
memories, he can only remember things
for a few minutes.
Sammy watches a commercial on T.V.




(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
27.
40 CONTINUED: 40
LEONARD (V.0.) (CONT’D)
He’d watch T.V., but anything longer than
a couple of minutes was too confusing,
he couldn’t remember how it began. He
liked commercials. They were short.
*
Sammy rolls a small GLASS BOTTLE between the palms of his
hands. Mrs. Jankis rolls up her sleeve. Leonard watches as
Sammy takes a SYRINGE and pushes the needle through the
rubber of the bottle. The label is marked “INSULIN”.
LEONARD (V.O.)(cont’d)
The crazy part was that this guy who
couldn’t follow the plot of “Green
Acres” could do the most complicated
things as long as he had learned them
before the accident...
Sammy INVERTS the bottle and syringe, DRAWS the insulin into
the syringe, withdraws the needle, holds it up to check for
bubbles, TAPPING it delicately.
LEONARD (V.0.) (CONT’D)
... and as long as he kept his mind on
what he was doing.
Sammy wipes a spot on Mrs. Jankis’ arm with a swab, then
gently PINCHES the skin and confidently INSERTS the needle. *
Mrs Jankis winces. *
MRS JANKIS *
Gentle. *
Sammy looks up, worried. Mrs Jankis smiles at him. Sammy pushes *
the plunger, withdraws the needle and presses the swab against *
the skin, lookinq into Mrs Jankis’ eyes and smiling back. *
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Leonard arrives at the City Grill to meet Natalie, recalling the case of Sammy Jankis and his own anterograde amnesia. He chooses to ignore Natalie initially, but she grabs his jacket, leaving the outcome uncertain.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Character development
  • Revealing backstory
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be confusing for first-time viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension through dialogue and flashbacks, while also providing crucial information about Leonard's past.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss and its impact on Leonard's life is intriguing and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Leonard receives new information about his past and the mysterious Sammy Jankis.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to memory loss and investigation, blending elements of mystery and psychological thriller. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters, especially Leonard, are complex and engaging, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Leonard's discovery about Sammy Jankis and his own past leads to a significant shift in his understanding of himself.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover the truth behind Sammy's condition and his own investigation. This reflects his need for closure and understanding of his own past.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to investigate Sammy's case and solve the mystery surrounding it. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in his current investigation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Leonard's past and present selves creates a sense of unease and suspense.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with obstacles and challenges that create uncertainty and drive the plot forward.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as Leonard grapples with his memory loss and the implications of his past actions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key information and deepening the mystery surrounding Leonard's condition.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the investigation and the protagonist's shifting perceptions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around memory and identity. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about truth and perception.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to empathy for Leonard's struggles.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and reveals important details about the characters and their motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its suspenseful atmosphere, intriguing mystery, and complex character dynamics.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear progression of events and character interactions.


Critique
  • The transition from the road to the City Grill on Main Street is abrupt and could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
  • The introduction of Natalie grabbing the back of Leonard's jacket feels rushed and lacks context, leaving the audience confused about their interaction.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Burt about the time feels disconnected from the previous context of the scene, making it seem out of place.
  • The flashback to Leonard's investigation of Sammy Jankis is informative but could be integrated more seamlessly into the current narrative to avoid disrupting the pacing of the scene.
  • The visual descriptions of Sammy's actions with the insulin syringe are detailed but may be too lengthy and slow down the progression of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the road scene and the City Grill to improve the continuity of the narrative.
  • Provide more context for Natalie grabbing Leonard's jacket to clarify their relationship and the significance of the interaction.
  • Ensure that the dialogue between Leonard and Burt aligns with the established context of the scene to maintain coherence.
  • Integrate the flashback to Sammy Jankis more organically into the current narrative to avoid disrupting the flow of the scene.
  • Condense the visual descriptions of Sammy's actions with the insulin syringe to maintain a balanced pace and keep the audience engaged.



Scene 8 -  The Memory Thief
41 INT. JANKIS HOUSE FRONT HALL - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE 41
SEQUENCE##
Mrs. Jankis opens the front door to Leonard. Leonard shakes
hands with Sammy, who smiles at him in apparent recognition.
LEONARD (V.0.)
The doctors assure me that there’s a
real condition called Korsokoff’s
syndrome; short-term memory loss, rare
but legit. But every time I see him I
catch a look of recognition. Just a
slight look, but he says he can’t
remember me at all.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
27A.
41 CONTINUED: 41
LEONARD (cont’d)
I can read people and I‘m thinking bad *
actor. Now I’m suspicious and I order
more tests.
CUT BACK TO LEONARD IN MOTEL ROOM:




MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
28.
42 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 42
Leonard DABS at some blood on his thigh with toilet paper.
LEONARD
His wife has to do everything. Sammy can
only do simple stuff. He couldn’t pick
up any new skills at all, and that’s how
I got him.
43 EXT. MAIN STREET – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 43
Leonard’s Jaguar pulls up at a red light. Suddenly Teddy is
BANGING on the window.
TEDDY
Lenny! I thought you’d gone for good.
What brings you back?
Leonard looks at Teddy, sizing him up.
LEONARD
Unfinished business. What made you think
I wasn’t coming back?
TEDDY
You said you were leaving town.
LEONARD
Things change.
TEDDY
So I see. It’s good to see you. My name’s
Teddy.
LEONARD
Guess I’ve told you about my condition.
TEDDY
(grins)
Only every time I see ya! Come on, I’ll
buy you lunch.
44 INT. DINER – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 44
Teddy pours ketchup all over his steak. Leonard plays with
his food.
TEDDY
Not hungry?




(CONTINUED)
29.
44 CONTINUED: 44
LEONARD
(shrugs)
It’s my condition. I never know if I’ve
already eaten, so I always just eat small
amounts.
TEDDY
You don’t have to remember to be hungry.
LEONARD
It’s weird, but if you don’t eat for a
while then your body stops being hungry.
You get sort of shaky but you don’t
realize you haven’t eaten. Have I told
you about Sammy Jankis?
TEDDY
Yeah, yeah. I heard enough about him.
Tell me about John G. You still think
he’s here, right?
LEONARD
Who?
TEDDY
The guy you’re looking for, Johnny G.
That’s why you haven’t left. Am I right?
Leonard shrugs. Teddy licks his fingers and frowns.
TEDDY (cont’d)
Leonard, you need to be very careful.
LEONARD
Why?
TEDDY
Well, the other day you made it sound
like you thought somebody might be trying
to set you up. Get you to kill the wrong
guy.
LEONARD
Yeah, well I go on facts, not
recommendations, okay?
TEDDY
Lenny, you can’t trust a man’s life to
your little notes and pictures.
LEONARD
Why?


(CONTINUED)
30.
44 CONTINUED: (2) 44
TEDDY
Because you’re relying on them alone. You
Don’t remember what you’ve discovered or
how. Your notes might be unreliable.
LEONARD
Memory’s unreliable.
Teddy snorts.
LEONARD (cont’d)
No, really. Memory’s not perfect. It’s
not even that good. Ask the police,
eyewitness testimony is unreliable. The
cops don’t catch a killer by sitting
around remembering stuff. They collect
facts, make notes, draw conclusions.
Facts, not memories: that’s how you
investigate. I know, it’s what I used to
do. Memory can change the shape of a room
or the color of a car. It’s an
interpretation, not a record. Memories
can be changed or distorted and they’re
irrelevant if you have the facts.
TEDDY
You really want to find this guy?
LEONARD
He took away the woman I love and he took
away my memory. He destroyed everything;
my life and my ability to live.
TEDDY
You’re living.
LEONARD
Just for revenge. That’s what keeps me
going. It’s all I have.
Teddy considers this.
TEDDY
We’ll find him. Where are you staying?
Leonard reaches into his pocket and takes out a Polaroid.
LEONARD
Discount Inn. Don’t know what room;
haven’t got my key.
TEDDY
Probably left it in your room.

MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
31.
Genres: null

Summary Leonard confronts Sammy Jankis, suspecting he's faking memory loss, but Sammy denies it. Leonard's acquaintance, Teddy, warns him against relying solely on memories. Leonard insists on finding John G., the man he believes stole his memories and killed his wife.
Strengths null
Weaknesses null

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 0


Story Content

Concept: 0

Plot: 0

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its unconventional narrative structure, complex characters, and thought-provoking dialogue. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the storytelling.


Character Development

Characters: 0

Character Changes: 0

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about his past and seek revenge for the loss of his memory and the woman he loved. This reflects his deeper need for closure and justice.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find the man who took away his memory and the woman he loved. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in his quest for revenge.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 0

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, hidden agendas, and moral dilemmas that create tension and uncertainty for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 0

Story Forward: 0

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting perspectives, unreliable narration, and unexpected plot twists that challenge the audience's expectations.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's belief in facts and evidence versus the unreliability of memory. This challenges his worldview and approach to solving the mystery of his past.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 0

Dialogue: 0

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its suspenseful atmosphere, complex characters, and philosophical dialogue that keeps the audience invested in the protagonist's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing exposition with character development, maintaining tension through dialogue, and building suspense towards the resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and a focus on character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Leonard dabbing blood on his thigh to a conversation with Teddy at a diner, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Teddy feels a bit expository and lacks subtlety, making it less engaging for the viewers.
  • The scene lacks visual descriptions and actions, relying heavily on dialogue to convey information, which can make it feel static and less visually engaging.
  • The interaction between Leonard and Teddy feels forced and lacks natural flow, making it less believable and compelling.
  • The scene doesn't effectively build tension or suspense, which is crucial for maintaining the audience's interest and investment in the story.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual elements and actions to break up the dialogue and make the scene more dynamic.
  • Work on creating a smoother transition between different settings and moments to avoid abrupt shifts in the narrative.
  • Focus on developing more natural and nuanced dialogue that reveals character dynamics and motivations in a more subtle way.
  • Introduce elements of suspense and tension to keep the audience engaged and eager to see how the scene unfolds.
  • Consider adding layers to the interaction between Leonard and Teddy to make it more complex and intriguing for the viewers.



Scene 9 -  Leonard's Memory Lapse
45 EXT. DISCOUNT INN - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 45
The Jaguar pulls up. Leonard gets out and heads to the
office.
46 INT. DISCOUNT INN OFFICE - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 46
Leonard enters. Burt is behind the counter reading a
magazine.
LEONARD
I’m sorry, I think I’m checked in here,
but I’ve misplaced my key.
BURT
(looks up)
Hi, Leonard.
47 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 47
Leonard (in boxers, bandaged arm shaving foam on thigh, *
strides the row, talking on the phone and gesticulating with
a disposable razor.
LEONARD
So Sammy can’t learn any new skills. But
I find something in my research:
Conditioning. Sammy should still be able
to learn through repetition. It’s how
you learn stuff like riding a bike,
things you don’t think about, you just
get better through practice. Call it
muscle memory, whatever, but it’s a
completely different part of the brain
from the short-term memory. So I have
the doctors test Sammy’s response to
conditioning...
48 INT. EXAMINATION ROOM - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 48
Sammy sits at a table. A DOCTOR sits opposite pointing out
various METAL OBJECTS sitting on the table.
DOCTOR
Just pick up any three objects.
SAMMY
(amused)
That’s a test? Where were you guys when
I did my CPA?




(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
32.
48 CONTINUED: 48

Sammy PICKS UP an object and gestures to the Doctor for
applause. Sammy goes for a second object, but gets a SHOCK
which makes him recoil in pain. (LEONARD TO SUBSTITUTE) *
SAMMY (cont’d)
Ah! What the fuck?!
Sammy looks ACCUSINGLY at the Doctor.

DOCTOR
It’s a test, Sammy.
LEONARD (V.O.)
Some of the objects were electrified,
They’d give him a small shock.
BACK TO LEONARD IN MOTEL ROOM
49 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY #BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE# 49
LEONARD
They kept repeating the test, always
with the same objects electrified. The
point was to see if he could learn to
avoid the electrified objects. Not by
memory, but by instinct.
50 INT. NATALIE’S BEDROOM: MESSY, CHEAPLY BUT ABUNDANTLY 50
FURNISHED – MORNING <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
Leonard opens his eyes, naked in bed. He looks around,
confused. With a START, he realizes that someone else is in
the bed: a BRUNETTE with her back to him.
Leonard leans right over her to get a look at her face. It is
NATALIE. The BRUISE on her eye and the MARK on her lip are
worse than before.
She OPENS her eyes and is startled by the sight of Leonard’s
hovering face.
LEONARD
Sorry. It’s only me.
Leonard FLOPS down. Natalie wakes up fully and relaxes.
NATALIE
Sleep okay?
LEONARD
Yeah. You?
Natalie shrugs. She looks at her bedside clock.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
33.
50 CONTINUED: 50
NATALIE
I gotta be someplace.
She gets out of bed, wearing pajamas. Leonard swings his legs
out of the bed and realizes that he is wearing trousers and
socks. He looks at his tattoos, as if he has never seen them
before.
NATALIE (cont’d)
Pretty weird.
She is smiling at him in the mirror. Leonard smiles, shrugs.
LEONARD
Useful. You never write a phone number on
your hand?
NATALIE *
(through mirror) *
I should be able to talk to my friend *
about the license plate today. *
LEONARD *
Yeah, the license plate... *
NATALIE *
(smiles) *
John G’s license plate number. You have *
it tattooed on your thigh. *
Natalie leaves the room. Leonard pulls down his trousers to *
reveal two tattoos: *
“FACT 5: DRUG DEALER” *
“FACT 6: LICENSE PLATE NUMBER SG13 1NU” *
Leonard runs his finger over fact 6, then pulls his trousers *
up and looks around the room. He spots his suit jacket *
hanging over the back of a chair. He checks the pockets,
pulls out his Polaroids, flips through them: a Jaguar, the
Discount Inn, Natalie. He flips Natalie’s picture over and
looks at the back. There are two messages, but the first one
has been completely scribbled over. The other one reads:
“HAS ALSO LOST SOMEONE, SHE WILL HELP YOU OUT OF PITY”
Leonard stuffs the photos back into his pocket, grabs a white
shirt of f the chair and pulls it on. Natalie comes back in
and starts to apply her makeup.


(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
33A.
50 CONTINUED: (2) 50
NATALIE
If it’s registered in this state it’ll *
just take seconds to pull up his license
and registration. I’ll call when I’ve
spoken to him.
LEONARD *
Why don’t we just arrange a meeting now? *
I’m not too good on the phone.
Natalie takes her eye pencil and writes a NOTE on a SMALL BAG *
FROM A PHARMACY. Leonard puts his jacket on. Natalie offers *
him the note. It says:
“CITY GRILL, MAIN ST. THURSDAY, 1.OOPM MEET NATALIE FOR INFO”




(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
34.
50 CONTINUED: (3) 50
LEONARD (cont’d)
(leading)
It’s great that you would... that you’re
helping me like this...
NATALIE
(smiles)
I’m helping you because you helped me.
Leonard nods.
NATALIE (cont’d)
So will you remember me next time you seo
me?
Leonard shakes his head and reaches for the note. Natalie
grabs his lapel and pulls him down to her, kissing him gently
on the mouth.
NATALIE (cont’d)
I think you will.
LEONARD
(smiles)
I’m sorry.
Leonard heads for the door.
NATALIE
(amused)
Lenny, before you go, can I have my shirt
back please?
She tosses him his blue shirt. Leonard looks down at the
white shirt which he has put on. It is way too small.
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Leonard wakes up in Natalie's bed with no memory of how he got there. Natalie informs him of his investigation into a license plate and provides him with a note containing meeting details. As Leonard leaves, Natalie requests her shirt back, highlighting his confusion and the ongoing struggle he faces with his memory loss.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Revealing new information
  • Complex character relationships
  • High-stakes confrontation
Weaknesses
  • Character development could be deeper
  • Dialogue could be more impactful in certain moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension, reveals crucial information, and sets up further conflicts, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss, tattoos as clues, and the search for truth are intriguing and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot advances with new revelations about Leonard's past and his quest for justice, adding layers to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as the concept of conditioning, electrified objects, and tattooed clues, adding freshness to the familiar mystery genre. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are complex and their interactions drive the scene forward, but there could be more depth to their development.

Character Changes: 7

Leonard undergoes some internal changes as he uncovers more about his past, but there could be more visible character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to understand the concept of conditioning and how it can help Sammy learn new skills. This reflects his desire to find a solution to Sammy's condition and his need for control and understanding.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to meet Natalie for information about John G's license plate. This reflects his immediate challenge of piecing together clues about his past and finding answers.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard and Teddy, as well as the internal conflict within Leonard, creates a tense and gripping atmosphere.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with obstacles and challenges that keep the audience guessing about the protagonist's next move. The uncertainty adds to the overall tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high with Leonard's mission to find the truth about his past and seek revenge, adding intensity to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing key information and setting up future events.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its nonlinear structure, unexpected character actions, and cryptic dialogue. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict revolves around memory, instinct, and repetition. The protagonist's beliefs about muscle memory and conditioning challenge traditional notions of memory and learning.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The emotional stakes are high, especially with Leonard's struggle with memory loss and his quest for justice.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information, but could be more impactful in certain moments.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mysterious atmosphere, sharp dialogue, and intriguing character dynamics. The mix of color and black-and-white sequences adds visual interest.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a mix of fast-paced dialogue and slower, introspective moments. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and intrigued.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and a focus on character interactions and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene transitions between different locations and timelines, which can be confusing for the audience and disrupt the flow of the story.
  • There is a lack of clarity in the purpose of some actions and dialogue, making it difficult for the audience to fully understand the motivations of the characters.
  • The scene contains a lot of exposition and information that could be streamlined to make it more engaging and impactful.
  • The visual elements, such as Leonard examining his tattoos and Polaroids, could be more effectively integrated into the narrative to enhance the storytelling.
  • The dialogue feels somewhat stilted and could benefit from more natural and dynamic interactions between the characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider simplifying the scene by focusing on one central location and timeline to avoid confusion.
  • Clarify the motivations of the characters and the significance of their actions to make the scene more engaging and coherent.
  • Streamline the exposition and information to ensure that it serves the narrative and moves the story forward.
  • Integrate the visual elements more seamlessly into the storytelling to enhance the audience's understanding and immersion in the scene.
  • Revise the dialogue to make it more natural and dynamic, reflecting the personalities and relationships of the characters.



Scene 10 -  Leonard and Natalie: A Suspicious Encounter
51 EXT. MAIN STREET — DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 51
The Jaguar pulls up to a red light. Suddenly Teddy is banging
on the window.
TEDDY
Lenny! I thought you’d gone for good.
What brings you back?
52 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 52 *
Leonard (in boxers, bandaged arm) STRIDES the room, shaving *
foam on leg, razor in one hand, phone in the other.



(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
35.
52 CONTINUED: 52
LEONARD
They kept testing Sammy for months,
always with the same objects carrying
the electrical charge...
53 INT. EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 53
Sammy sits across the testing table from the Doctor. Sammy
goes for a METAL OBJECT and RECOILS in pain from a SHOCK.
SAMMY
Ah! What the fuck?!
DOCTOR
It’s a test, Sammy.
JUMP CUT TO:
54 INT. EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY #BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE# 54
AS BEFORE, but Sammy is DRESSED DIFFERENTLY. He goes for an
object and is SHOCKED.
SAMMY
Ah! What the fuck?!
DOCTOR
It’s a test, Sammy.
SAMMY EXTENDS A TREMBLING MIDDLE FINGER.
SAMMY
Yeah? Test this you fucking quack.
Sequence of JUMP CUTS of Sammy extending his MIDDLE FINGER
and RECOILING in shock from the objects.
LEONARD (V.O.)
Even with total short-term memory loss,
Sammy should’ve learned to instinctively
stop picking up the wrong objects. All
previous cases of short-term memory loss
had responded to conditioning in some
way. Sammy didn’t respond at all.
BACK TO LEONARD IN MOTEL ROOM
55 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY #BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE# 55
LEONARD
It was enough to suggest his condition
was psychological not physical.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
36.
55 CONTINUED: 55
LEONARD (cont’d)
We turned down his claim on the grounds
that he wasn’t covered for mental
illness. Sammy’s wife got stuck with the
bills and I got a promotion for
rejecting a big claim.
Leonard looks into the mirror.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Conditioning didn’t work for Sammy, so
he became helpless. But it works for me.
I live the way Sammy couldn’t. Habit and
Conditioning. Acting on instinct.
56 EXT./INT. NATALIE’S FRONT DOOR – DUSK <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 56 *
Leonard pulls up in his Jaguar, gets out, rings the front
doorbell. It is opened by Natalie.
LEONARD
Natalie, right?
Natalie nods, wary of Leonard’s barely concealed anger.
Leonard thrusts a Polaroid photo in her face.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Who the fuck is Dodd?
The photo is of a MAN who is BOUND, GAGGED, and BLOODY. On
the back of the photo:
“GET RID OF HIM, ASK NATALIE”
Natalie takes the picture and examines it.
NATALIE
Guess I don’t have to worry about him
anymore.
LEONARD
(snaps)
Who is he? What have you got me into?
Natalie looks up and down the street.
NATALIE
Come inside.
57 INT. NATALIE’S LIVING ROOM: COMFORTABLE AND MESSY – NIGHT 57
<<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
Natalie shows Leonard in.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
37.
57 CONTINUED: 57
NATALIE
Calm down. You’re not into anything. It
was my problem, you offered no help. It’s
got nothing to do with your
investigation.
LEONARD
That’s the problem! How can I find John
G. when I don’t know what’s going on?!
How did you get me into this?!
NATALIE
Leonard, you offered to help when you saw
what this guy did to me.
She gestures at the BRUISING on her face.
LEONARD
How do I know he did that to you?
NATALIE
I came to you straight after he did it. I
showed you what he’d done and asked for
your help.
LEONARD
So I just take your word?
NATALIE
Yes.
LEONARD
(sighs)
Something feels wrong. I think someone’s
fucking with me. Trying to get me to kill
the wrong guy.
NATALIE
Did you?
LEONARD
What?
NATALIE
Kill him.
LEONARD
Course not.
Natalie waves the Polaroid at him.




(CONTINUED)
38.
57 CONTINUED: (2) 57
NATALIE
This has nothing to do with you. You
helped me out, and I’m grateful.
She tries to rip the picture. Leonard watches her try. The
plastic is too strong.
LEONARD
You have to burn them.
Natalie scrunches it up and throws it down. Leonard and
Natalie sit down on the couch.
NATALIE
You decided to help me. Trust yourself.
Trust your own judgment. You can
question everything, you can never know
anything for sure.
LEONARD
There are things you know for sure.
NATALIE
Such as?
LEONARD
I know the feel of the world.
(reaches forward)
I know how this wood will sound when I
knock.
(raps knuckles on coffee table)
I know how this glass will feel when I
pick it up.
(handles glass)
Certainties. You think it’s knowledge,
but it’s a kind of memory, a kind you
take for granted. I can remember so much.
(runs hands over objects)
I know the feel of the world,
(beat)
and I know her.
NATALIE
Your wife?
LEONARD
She’s gone and the present is trivia,
which I can scribble down as notes.
Natalie stares at Leonard, thinking.




(CONTINUED)
39.
57 CONTINUED: (3) 57
NATALIE
Relax a little, okay? Take off your
jacket.
Leonard takes his jacket off and places it on the back of the
couch, patting the pockets as he does so.
LEONARD
It’s not easy to be calm when —
NATALIE
Just relax.
She reaches for his arm and unbuttons his cuff, revealing the
end of Leonard’s tattoos.
NATALIE (cont’d)
You don’t seem the type.
She pushes back the sleeve, trying to read the tattoo.
Leonard watches her. *
NATALIE (cont’d)
Come on.
She starts to unbutton his shirt. He watches. Natalie gasps
as she opens Leonard’s shirt and pulls it back over his
shoulders. She tilts her head, trying to read the different
messages.
NATALIE (cont’d)
It’s backwards. *
She pulls him up and turns him around in front of the mirror *
to read the backwards tattoo across his chest. *
“JOHN G. RAPED AND MURDERED MY WIFE”.
Natalie touches the blank area of skin above Leonard’s heart. *
NATALIE (cont’d) *
Here? *
Leonard looks down at the blank patch, then at Natalie, *
vulnerable, confused. *
LEONARD *
It’s... it must be for when I’ve found him. *
*
She looks at Leonard. Leonard shrugs. Natalie studies *
Leonard’s chest, avoiding his eyes. *
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
39A.
57 CONTINUED: (4) 57

NATALIE (cont’d)
I’ve lost somebody.
LEONARD
I’m sorry.




(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
40.
57 CONTINUED: (5) 57
Natalie picks up a photograph from off a messy desk in the
corner. She shows it to Leonard. The picture shows Natalie
smiling and hugging a smirking YOUNG MAN (JIMMY). Natalie *
looks up at Leonard to see his reaction.
NATALIE
His name was Jimmy.
LEONARD
What happened?
NATALIE
He went to meet somebody and didn’t come
back.
LEONARD
Who did he go to meet?
Natalie studies Leonard.
NATALIE
A guy called Teddy.
Leonard does not react to the name.
LEONARD
What do the police think?
NATALIE
They don’t look too hard for guys like
Jimmy.
Natalie puts the photo down. She reaches out to Leonard, *
spreading her fingers over the blank part of his chest. *
NATALIE (cont’d)
When you find this guy, this John G.,
what are you going to do?
LEONARD
Kill him.
NATALIE
Maybe I can help you find him. I know a *
lot of people.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Leonard confronts Natalie, questioning her involvement in his search for John G. Despite her reassurances, Leonard's suspicions persist. Natalie reveals she may be able to assist, leaving Leonard with both hope and confusion.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension and suspense
Weaknesses
  • Complex plot may be challenging for some viewers to follow

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with intense dialogue, emotional depth, and significant character development. It keeps the audience on the edge of their seats and raises important questions about memory, identity, and morality.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of memory loss and its impact on the protagonist's quest for revenge is compelling and well-executed. The scene effectively explores themes of trust, betrayal, and self-discovery, adding depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot is intricate and engaging, with the protagonist's search for the truth driving the narrative forward. The tension between the characters and the revelation of new information keep the audience invested in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its nonlinear structure, thematic depth, and character-driven storytelling. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds a layer of realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and complex, with conflicting motivations and emotions. The scene allows for significant character growth and explores the depths of their relationships and personal struggles.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant changes in the scene, particularly the protagonist who grapples with his memory loss and the truth about his past. The emotional journey and personal growth of the characters drive the narrative forward.

Internal Goal: 9

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth behind his past and his wife's murder. He grapples with memory loss and uncertainty, reflecting his deeper need for closure and justice.

External Goal: 8

Leonard's external goal is to navigate the complex web of relationships and events that have led him to his current situation. He seeks to understand the motives of those around him and make sense of the clues he uncovers.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, with emotional stakes and moral dilemmas driving the characters' actions. The tension between the characters and the high stakes of the situation create a sense of urgency and suspense.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting motives, hidden agendas, and moral dilemmas that challenge the protagonist's beliefs and actions. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, with the protagonist facing moral dilemmas, emotional turmoil, and the threat of violence. The tension between the characters and the uncertainty of the situation create a sense of urgency and suspense.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, revealing new information, deepening the conflict, and raising important questions about the protagonist's quest for justice. It sets the stage for further developments and twists in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its nonlinear structure, unreliable narration, and shifting perspectives. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around trust, memory, and certainty. Leonard questions the reliability of his own memories and struggles to trust others, leading to a deeper exploration of truth and perception.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, with intense moments of confrontation, betrayal, and self-discovery. The characters' internal struggles and conflicting emotions add depth and resonance to the narrative.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, intense, and emotionally charged, adding depth to the characters and driving the conflict forward. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and internal struggles.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its suspenseful atmosphere, complex character dynamics, and thematic depth. The dialogue and interactions between characters keep the audience invested in the unfolding mystery.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with well-timed reveals and character interactions. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows an expected structure for its genre, utilizing flashbacks, dialogue, and visual cues to advance the plot and develop the characters.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Teddy banging on the window to Leonard shaving in a motel room, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • The flashback sequences with Sammy Jankis testing are a bit repetitive and could be condensed to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The dialogue between Natalie and Leonard feels a bit forced and could be more natural to enhance the emotional impact of their interaction.
  • The revelation of Leonard's tattoo and Natalie's reaction could be more impactful with stronger visual cues and emotional depth.
  • The scene lacks a clear resolution or climax, leaving the audience with unanswered questions and a sense of incompleteness.
Suggestions
  • Consider smoother transitions between different locations and moments to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Condense the flashback sequences with Sammy Jankis to maintain the pacing and focus on the main storyline.
  • Refine the dialogue between Natalie and Leonard to make it more authentic and emotionally resonant.
  • Enhance the visual cues and emotional depth of the revelation of Leonard's tattoo to create a more impactful moment.
  • Provide a clearer resolution or climax to the scene to give the audience a sense of closure and completion.



Scene 11 -  Leonard's Loneliness
58 INT. NATALIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 58
Natalie, eyes closed, has her head on Leonard’s chest. He is
shirtless, lying on top of the covers.


(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
41.
58 CONTINUED: 58
LEONARD
I don’t even know how long she’s been *
gone. It’s like I’ve woken up in bed and
she’s not here because she’s gone to the
bathroom or something. But somehow I just *
know that she’ll never come back to bed. *
I lie here, not knowing how long I’ve
been alone. If I could just reach out and *
touch her side of the bed I could know *
that it was cold, but I can’t. I have no *
idea when she left. *
Natalie’s eyes are open.
LEONARD (cont’d)
I know I can’t have her back, but I want *
to be able to let her go. I don’t want to
wake up every morning thinking she’s
still here then realizing that she’s not.
I want time to pass, but it won’t. How *
can I heal if I can’t feel time?
Leonard bends his head around to see if Natalie is awake. She
closes her eyes. Leonard gingerly slides from underneath her
and moves silently out of the bedroom.
59 INT. NATALIE’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 59
Leonard enters the dark room. He goes to the couch and picks
up his shirt and his jacket. He notices the photograph which
Natalie showed him on top of some papers on a desk in the
corner. He holds it in a shaft of light from the streetlamp
outside, studying the photo of Natalie and Jimmy.
60 INT. NATALIE‘S BEDROOM - NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 60
Natalie, eyes open, slides her hand over to where Leonard was
lying, feeling his residual warmth.
ii 61 INT. NATALIE’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 61
Leonard has his Polaroid photograph of Natalie out. He takes
a pen out of his jacket, rests the photo against the wall in
a patch of light and writes on the back, underneath the
message which has been scribbled out:
“SHE HAS ALSO LOST SOMEONE. SHE WILL HELP YOU OUT OF PITY”




MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
42.
62 INT. NATALIE’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT <<COLOUR 62
SEQUENCE>>
Leonard enters, deposits his jacket and shirt, then slides
into bed next to Natalie.
63 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 63
Leonard lies on the bed (in boxers, bandaged arm) talking on *
the phone. He wipes the excess shaving foam from his thigh,
and feels the SMOOTHNESS of the clean-shaven skin.
LEONARD
Sammy’s wife was crippled by the cost of
supporting him and fighting the
company’s decision - but it wasn’t the
money that got to her.
64 INT. JANKIS HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE 64
SEQUENCE##
Mrs. Jankis comes into the room. Sammy is seated, watching
T.V. He looks up at her with a smile. She smiles back, tense.
LEONARD (V.0.)
I never said that Sammy was faking. Just
that his problem was mental, not
physical. But she... she couldn’t
understand. She looks into his eyes and
sees the same person. And if it’s not a
physical problem...
Sammy’s Wife starts shouting at Sammy. Sammy squirms.
LEONARD (V.0.) (CONT’D)
... he should just... snap out of it.
Sammy’s Wife THROWS her drink in Sammy’s face, puts her head
in her hands, SOBBING. Sammy wipes his face on his sleeve.
BACK TO LEONARD IN MOTEL ROOM:
Genres: ["Drama","Mystery","Thriller"]

Summary Leonard wakes up in bed alone and realizes that his wife, Natalie, is gone and will never return. He goes into the living room and sees a photo of Natalie and his deceased friend, Jimmy. He writes on the back of the photo that Natalie will help him out of pity because she has also lost someone. Leonard then goes back to bed and lies down next to Natalie. He is struggling to cope with the loss of his wife and is looking for someone to help him. He believes that Natalie can help him because she has also lost someone, but it is unclear whether she can actually help him.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Tension and suspense
  • Revealing character insights
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
  • Lack of clarity in certain character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the emotional depth of the characters, maintains a high level of suspense, and advances the plot significantly.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss and its impact on identity is explored in a compelling way, adding depth to the characters and the overall story.

Plot: 9

The plot thickens as Leonard uncovers more clues about his past and his quest for vengeance, keeping the audience engaged and eager to learn more.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic portrayal of grief and loss, with nuanced character interactions and emotional depth. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are complex and well-developed, especially Leonard, whose internal struggles and motivations drive the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 8

Leonard undergoes a significant emotional transformation in the scene, grappling with his past and his present reality.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with the loss of a loved one and find a way to move on from the pain and longing. This reflects his deeper need for closure and healing, as well as his fear of being stuck in a state of grief.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find a way to cope with the absence of his loved one and navigate his emotions. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with loss and moving forward in life.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard and Natalie, as well as Leonard's internal conflict, creates a tense and gripping atmosphere.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the characters face internal struggles and emotional challenges that are difficult to overcome. The audience is left wondering how the characters will navigate their grief and find closure.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Leonard confronts his past and faces the possibility of uncovering painful truths about himself and his actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about Leonard's past and his quest for justice, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in its emotional twists and turns, as the characters grapple with their grief and inner turmoil. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters will navigate their emotions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's struggle to let go of the past and accept the reality of the present. This challenges his beliefs about time, healing, and the nature of grief.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly through Leonard's poignant reflections on his wife and his struggle with memory loss.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing the characters' emotions and motivations effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, relatable themes, and well-developed characters. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and emotions, creating a compelling and immersive experience.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing for moments of introspection and emotional resonance, creating a sense of depth and complexity in the characters' experiences.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that enhance the visual and emotional impact of the story.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent and engaging structure, with a clear progression of events and character development. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the emotional depth of the characters.


Critique
  • The scene is emotionally charged and provides insight into Leonard's inner turmoil and longing for closure.
  • The dialogue captures Leonard's deep sense of loss and confusion, adding depth to his character.
  • The use of color sequences helps differentiate between different timelines and adds visual interest to the scene.
  • The scene effectively conveys Leonard's struggle with time and healing in the aftermath of his wife's disappearance.
  • The interaction between Leonard and Natalie reveals a complex dynamic between the two characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotional impact of Leonard's monologue.
  • Explore ways to incorporate more sensory details to immerse the audience in Leonard's experience.
  • Provide more context or backstory to deepen the audience's understanding of Leonard's relationship with his wife and Natalie.
  • Consider incorporating flashbacks or memories to further explore Leonard's past and his connection to Natalie and his wife.
  • Experiment with different camera angles or lighting techniques to visually enhance the emotional intensity of the scene.



Scene 12 -  Leonard's Motel Mystery
65 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 65
Leonard, talking on the phone, empties the white paper bag
onto the bed beside him: Two cheap BALL-POINT PENS, SCOTCH
TAPE, a pack of NEEDLES, and a FILE CARD.




(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
43.
65 CONTINUED: 65
LEONARD (cont’d)
So good old Leonard Shelby from the
insurance company gives her the seed of
doubt, just like he gave it to the
doctors. But I never said that Sammy was
faking. I never said that.
Leonard takes a NEEDLE out of the packet.
66 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT WITH HIGH CEILINGS AND WOODEN FLOOR 66
- NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
We move along a hallway towards a closed door. An ominous *
rumbling builds.
A66 INSERT QUICK CUTS: A66
TREMBLING, SHALLOW-FOCUS EXTREME CLOSE UPS:
A glass bottle SHATTERS against black and white ceramic
tiles. A SUDDEN MOVEMENT glimpsed through a water-beaded
clear plastic shower curtain.
The shower curtain pulls TAUT across a GASPING FEMALE FACE.
Leonard’s REFLECTION in a MIRROR which SHATTERS.
67 INT. DODD’S MOTEL ROOM - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 67
Leonard opens his eyes, frightened. He is lying on the bed in
his beige suit and blue shirt.
LEONARD (V.0.)
Awake.
He rolls his eyes to one side.
LEONARD (V.O.)(cont’d)
Where am I?
He lifts his head and surveys the room.
LEONARD (V.O.)(cont’d)
Motel room.
He rises from the bed, looking at the room as if for the
first time. He starts looking in the dresser drawers, finding
nothing.
LEONARD (V.O.)(cont’d)
Some anonymous motel room. Nothing in the
drawers, but you look anyway.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
44.
67 CONTINUED: 67
He grasps the handle of the bedside drawer.
LEONARD (V.O.) (cont’d)
Never anything but the Gideon...
Leonard pulls the drawer open, and pauses at what he sees.
LEONARD (V.O.) (cont’d)
... Bible.
In the drawer is a Gideon Bible. Resting on top of it is a
HANDGUN.
Leonard turns, looks over the rest of the room. He moves to
the bureau and opens drawers. Empty. He goes to the closet
and OPENS it.
Inside is a BOUND and GAGGED MAN on the floor, knees against
chest. His mouth is taped up with silver electrical tape,
stained with DRIED BLOOD from his swollen nose. He looks up
at Leonard, blinking in the sudden bright light, TERRIFIED.
Leonard SHUTS the closet door, CONFUSED. The Man in the
closet starts GRUNTING and BUMPING the closet door.
There is a KNOCK at the door. Leonard looks through the
peephole.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary In a motel room, Leonard uncovers a mysterious bag of items, including a needle and handgun. The scene shifts to his apartment, where strange events unfold. Awakening in a different motel room, Leonard discovers a bound and gagged man in the closet, plunging him into a perplexing and unsettling situation.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Mystery elements
  • Revelation of bound man
  • Emotional impact
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Some confusion for the audience

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged with the mysterious elements and the revelation of the bound man in the closet. The use of different color sequences and flashbacks adds depth to the storytelling.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss and the protagonist's struggle to uncover the truth about his past is intriguing and well-executed in this scene. The revelation of the bound man adds a new layer of mystery and conflict.

Plot: 9

The plot thickens with the discovery of the bound man in the closet, raising questions about Leonard's past and the motives of those around him. The scene effectively advances the overall mystery and suspense of the story.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its approach to storytelling, blending elements of mystery, psychological thriller, and neo-noir genres. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the overall sense of intrigue and unpredictability.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters, especially Leonard, are well-developed and their actions and reactions contribute to the tension and suspense of the scene. The introduction of the bound man adds complexity to the character dynamics.

Character Changes: 6

Leonard experiences a shift in his perception and understanding of his past as he uncovers the bound man in his room. This discovery marks a significant moment of realization and vulnerability for the character.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to understand his current situation and surroundings. He is confused and disoriented, trying to piece together his fragmented memories and make sense of the events unfolding around him.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to figure out who the bound and gagged man in the closet is and how he ended up in this motel room. He is faced with a immediate challenge of dealing with the unexpected and potentially dangerous situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with Leonard discovering the bound man in his motel room and facing the unknown threat. The tension between the characters and the sense of danger elevate the conflict to a compelling level.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Leonard facing a challenging and potentially dangerous situation that adds to the tension and conflict. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how Leonard will navigate the obstacles in his path.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as Leonard faces a dangerous and unknown threat in the form of the bound man in his motel room. The sense of danger and suspense raises the stakes for the characters and the overall story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a new mystery and raising the stakes for the characters. The revelation of the bound man adds complexity to the plot and sets the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the plot, as well as the enigmatic nature of Leonard's character and his fragmented memories.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of memory, identity, and perception. Leonard's struggle to piece together his memories and make sense of his reality challenges his beliefs about himself and the world around him.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes fear, confusion, and vulnerability in the characters, creating an emotional impact on the audience. The revelation of the bound man adds a sense of danger and suspense, heightening the emotional intensity.

Dialogue: 6

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but impactful, conveying the fear and confusion of the characters effectively. The lack of extensive dialogue adds to the overall suspense and mystery.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, intense imagery, and cryptic dialogue. The audience is drawn into the mystery and suspense, eager to uncover the truth behind Leonard's situation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of slow-building tension and quick cuts that keep the audience engaged. The rhythm of the scene enhances its effectiveness in conveying the sense of disorientation and suspense.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The use of visual cues and descriptive language enhances the atmosphere and tone of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The non-linear narrative style adds complexity and depth to the storytelling.


Critique
  • The transition from the black and white sequence to the color sequence could be smoother and more seamless to enhance the viewer's experience.
  • The use of quick cuts and extreme close-ups in the insert shots may be overwhelming and disorienting for the audience. Consider using these techniques more sparingly for greater impact.
  • The sudden introduction of a bound and gagged man in the closet feels jarring and may require more context or buildup to make it more believable within the narrative.
  • The visual descriptions of the scene could be more vivid and detailed to create a stronger sense of atmosphere and tension.
  • The dialogue in the voice-over could be more impactful and reflective of Leonard's internal thoughts and emotions in the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transition between the black and white sequence and the color sequence to create a more cohesive visual storytelling approach.
  • Use the insert shots and extreme close-ups strategically to highlight key moments and enhance the suspense without overwhelming the audience.
  • Provide more context or hints leading up to the discovery of the bound and gagged man in the closet to make the reveal more effective and plausible.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the scene to immerse the audience in Leonard's perspective and create a more engaging viewing experience.
  • Revise the voice-over dialogue to better convey Leonard's inner turmoil and confusion as he navigates the unsettling discovery in the motel room.



Scene 13 -  Discovery and Dilemma
68 INT./EXT. DODD’S MOTEL – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 68
INSERT LEONARD’S P.O.V.:
A FISH-EYE TEDDY, grinning and waving.
69 INT. DODD’S MOTEL – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 69
Leonard looks around, trying to think. Teddy KNOCKS harder.
The Man in the closet BUMPS and GROANS. Leonard reaches into
his pocket and pulls out some Polaroids.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Just a minute!
He finds the one of Teddy, then sticks them back into his
pocket. He OPENS the door to Teddy and grins.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Teddy!
Teddy brushes past him into the room.
TEDDY
Finished playing with yourself, Lenny?

(CONTINUED)
45.
69 CONTINUED: 69
Teddy SLUMPS into a chair. Leonard tries to smile. There is a
faint GRUNTING and BUMPING from inside the closet. Teddy
notices the noise and grins.
TEDDY (cont’d)
I get it – amorous neighbors.
LEONARD
Why are you here?
TEDDY
(surprised)
You called me. You wanted my help. You
know, Lenny, I’ve had more rewarding
friendships than this one. Although I do
get to keep using the same jokes.
Leonard thinks, then moves to the CLOSET and OPENS the door.
Teddy looks in DISBELIEF at the Man in the closet.
TEDDY (cont’d)
Who the fuck is that?
LEONARD
You don’t know him?
TEDDY
No! Should I?
Leonard shrugs.
TEDDY (cont’d)
Is this John G.?
LEONARD
I don’t think so.
TEDDY
Think so? You don’t know? Didn’t you
write it down?
LEONARD
I might have fallen asleep before I did.
Teddy shakes his head, chuckling.
TEDDY
Ask him.
Leonard crouches down and RIPS the tape from the Man’s mouth.
LEONARD
What’s your name?

(CONTINUED)
46.
69 CONTINUED: (2) 69
The Man looks at Leonard, wary, says nothing. Leonard tweaks
his broken nose. The Man groans.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Your name.
MAN
Dodd.
LEONARD
Who did this to you?
DODD
(confused)
What?
LEONARD
Who did this to you?
DODD
You did.
Leonard replaces the gag and SHUTS the closet.
TEDDY
I’m not gonna help you kill this guy, if
that’s what –
LEONARD
No. No, just let me think for a minute.
Leonard moves to the dresser and starts methodically emptying
his pockets. He pulls a Polaroid out of his inside jacket
pocket.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Here we go.
The Polaroid shows Dodd sitting on the bed, BOUND, GAGGED and
BLEEDING. The name Dodd is written below the picture. Leonard
flips it over. On the back it says:
“GET RID OF HIM, THEN ASK NATALIE”
Teddy looks at the photo over Leonard’s shoulder.
TEDDY
Natalie? Natalie who?
LEONARD
Why?



(CONTINUED)
47.
69 CONTINUED: (3) 69
TEDDY
I think I know her.
Leonard sticks his pictures in his pocket.
LEONARD
We’ve got to get him out of here.
TEDDY
He’s got to have a car, right? We just
take him back to his car and tell him to
get the fuck out of town before we kill
him.
LEONARD
We can’t just walk him out tied up and
bleeding.
TEDDY
How’d ya get him in here in the first
place?
LEONARD
I don’t know.
Leonard looks around the room for inspiration.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Yes I do... this isn’t my room.
Teddy looks around at the anonymous room.
LEONARD (cont’d)
It’s his. He was already here. Let’s just *
go. *
Leonard starts for the door, Teddy lays a hand on his chest. *
TEDDY *
Wait, we can’t just leave him. The maid *
finds him, calls the cops. He’s seen us now *
Leonard thinks. *
LEONARD *
Okay. We clean him up, untie him and *
march him out with a gun in his back. *
TEDDY
Why would I have a gun?
Leonard fishes the HANDGUN out of the bedside table drawer.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
47A.
69 CONTINUED: (4) 69
LEONARD
It must be his. I don’t think they’d let
someone like me carry a gun.
TEDDY
Fucking hope not.
Leonard covers Dodd with the gun while Teddy pulls him out of
the closet. Dodd has trouble standing up straight.




MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
48.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Leonard confronts Teddy with the discovery of an unknown man, Dodd, hidden in the motel room closet. As they examine a Polaroid of Dodd bound and gagged, Leonard realizes it's Dodd's room. Together, they decide to clean up Dodd, untie him, and escort him out while keeping a gun close in case of trouble.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Mystery elements
  • Confrontational dialogue
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some ambiguity in character motivations
  • Lack of clarity in certain plot points

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and mystery through the confrontation between Leonard and Teddy, as well as the discovery of the bound and gagged man. The dialogue is engaging and keeps the audience intrigued.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on a tense confrontation and a mysterious discovery, is well-executed and keeps the audience engaged. The introduction of the bound and gagged man adds an element of suspense and intrigue.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene is driven by the tension between Leonard and Teddy, as well as the discovery of the bound and gagged man. The unfolding mystery and the characters' conflicting motivations keep the audience invested in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the thriller genre with its fragmented narrative structure and complex character dynamics. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Leonard and Teddy are well-developed in this scene, with their conflicting personalities and motivations driving the tension. The introduction of the bound and gagged man adds depth to the characters' dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

Both Leonard and Teddy undergo some character development in the scene, as their conflicting motivations and emotions are revealed. The discovery of the bound and gagged man adds complexity to their characters.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal is to figure out the truth behind the situation he finds himself in and to make sense of his fragmented memory. This reflects his deeper need for clarity and understanding in a confusing and chaotic world.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to deal with the man in the closet and navigate the dangerous situation he is in without getting caught or harmed. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with tension escalating between Leonard and Teddy, as well as the discovery of the bound and gagged man. The conflicting motivations and emotions of the characters drive the conflict forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations between the characters, adding complexity and tension to the situation.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, with Leonard and Teddy facing the possibility of violence and manipulation. The discovery of the bound and gagged man raises the stakes even further, adding a sense of urgency and danger.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing new information about the characters' motivations and the unfolding mystery. The discovery of the bound and gagged man adds a new layer of intrigue to the plot.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the plot, the moral dilemmas faced by the characters, and the uncertain outcome of the situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the moral dilemma of whether to help or harm the man in the closet. It challenges Leonard's beliefs about justice and morality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a high emotional impact, with the tense confrontation and mysterious discovery evoking feelings of suspense, intrigue, and conflict. The audience is emotionally invested in the characters' fates.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is tense, confrontational, and mysterious, effectively conveying the characters' conflicting emotions and motivations. The dialogue keeps the audience engaged and adds depth to the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its suspenseful atmosphere, intriguing dialogue, and complex character relationships.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of slower moments for character development and faster moments for action.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character actions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a thriller genre, with a buildup of tension, character interactions, and a cliffhanger ending.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a fish-eye view of Teddy, which may be disorienting for the audience and doesn't add much to the storytelling.
  • There is a lack of clarity in the purpose of Teddy's visit and the situation with the bound and gagged man in the closet, leading to confusion for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Teddy feels a bit forced and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to fully engage with the characters and their motivations.
  • The revelation of the Polaroid with instructions to 'GET RID OF HIM, THEN ASK NATALIE' adds intrigue but could be more effectively integrated into the scene for a stronger impact.
  • The decision-making process between Leonard and Teddy regarding what to do with Dodd feels rushed and could benefit from more tension and suspense.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the opening shot of Teddy to be more visually engaging and relevant to the scene.
  • Clarify the purpose of Teddy's visit and the significance of the bound and gagged man in the closet to enhance the audience's understanding.
  • Develop the dialogue between Leonard and Teddy to reveal more about their characters and motivations, adding depth to the scene.
  • Integrate the Polaroid revelation more seamlessly into the scene to increase its impact and create a stronger sense of mystery.
  • Build more tension and suspense in the decision-making process between Leonard and Teddy to keep the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.



Scene 14 -  The Parking Lot Encounter
70 EXT. DODD’S MOTEL – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 70
Teddy exits the room, glances around, motions for Leonard and
Dodd to follow. Dodd is cleaned up and unbound, Leonard is
pressed up right behind him. The three of them descend to the
parking lot.
LEONARD
Which one?
Dodd leads them to a new LANDCRUISER. Teddy whispers in
Leonard’s ear.
TEDDY
We probably ought to take his car, you
know, teach him a lesson.
LEONARD
Shut it, Teddy.
TEDDY
Easy for you to say, you’ve got the Jag.
LEONARD
I’ll ride with him. You follow.
TEDDY
Give me your keys.
Leonard looks at him, suspicious.
LEONARD
Take your own car.
Teddy shrugs. Leonard motions Dodd into the driver’s seat,
then slides into the passenger side. They pull out of the
parking lot, Teddy following in his GREY SEDAN.
71 EXT. SHOULDER OF HIGHWAY HEADING OUT OF TOWN – DAY <<COLOUR 71
SEQUENCE>>
The Landcruiser PULLS OVER and stops. The grey sedan pulls up
behind. Leonard gets out of the Landcruiser and it PULLS AWAY
at speed. Leonard walks back to Teddy’s car.
72 INT. GREY SEDAN – DAY 72
TEDDY
So was he scared?
LEONARD
Yeah. I think it was your sinister
mustache that got him.



(CONTINUED)
49.
72 CONTINUED: 72
Teddy leans over slightly so that he can see his reflection
in the rear view mirror. Leonard smiles. Teddy sees him.
TEDDY
Fuck you. We shoulda taken his car.
LEONARD
What’s wrong with this one?
TEDDY
You like it? Let’s trade.
73 EXT. ALLEY BEHIND THE MOTEL - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 73
The grey sedan pulls up beside Leonard’s Jaguar. Leonard gets
out.
TEDDY
So what are you gonna do now?
LEONARD
I’m gonna ask Natalie what the fuck that
was all about.
TEDDY
Natalie who?
Leonard ignores him and gets into his Jaguar.
74 EXT. A MODEST SINGLE-STOREY HOUSE - NATALIE’S - DUSK 74
<<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
The Jaguar pulls up. Leonard checks the address against the
address written on his Polaroid of Natalie, then goes to the
door and RINGS the bell. It is opened by Natalie.
LEONARD
Natalie, right?
Natalie nods, wary of Leonard’s tone. Leonard THRUSTS a
Polaroid in her face.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Who the fuck is Dodd?
The photo shows Dodd, BOUND, GAGGED and BLEEDING.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Array
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • Mysterious plot twists
Weaknesses
  • Some ambiguity in character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is highly engaging and keeps the audience on edge with its suspenseful and intense atmosphere. The confrontation between the characters adds depth to the plot and raises the stakes.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a mysterious confrontation at a motel involving hidden motives and escalating tension is executed effectively, keeping the audience engaged and intrigued.

Plot: 8

The plot thickens with the introduction of Dodd and the mysterious Polaroid, adding layers of complexity and intrigue to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the crime thriller genre by focusing on memory loss and nonlinear storytelling. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and unpredictable, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Leonard, Teddy, and Dodd are well-developed and their interactions add depth to the scene, showcasing their conflicting motives and personalities.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo subtle changes as their motives and relationships are tested, adding complexity to their arcs and the overall story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth behind the mysterious events and confront Natalie about Dodd's identity. This reflects his need for closure and his fear of being manipulated or deceived.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to confront Natalie and get answers about Dodd. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in unraveling the mystery surrounding Dodd's situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters is high, with tensions escalating as secrets are revealed and motives are questioned.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting agendas and hidden motives creating obstacles for the protagonist. The audience is kept guessing about the characters' true intentions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters' motives and actions become increasingly dangerous and unpredictable, raising the tension and suspense of the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, introducing new characters, conflicts, and mysteries that propel the narrative towards its resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting motivations and the unexpected twists in the plot. The audience is left unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between Teddy's more aggressive and impulsive approach to the situation and Leonard's more cautious and calculated demeanor. This challenges Leonard's values of control and rationality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of tension, anxiety, and determination, keeping the audience emotionally engaged and invested in the characters' fates.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is intense, confrontational, and adds to the overall suspense of the scene, revealing the characters' motivations and driving the plot forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, intriguing plot developments, and dynamic character interactions. The audience is kept on the edge of their seats, eager to uncover the truth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments and character interactions. It maintains a sense of urgency and momentum, driving the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is consistent with the genre's expectations, with clear scene headings and descriptions. It helps to maintain the pacing and rhythm of the narrative.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined beats and transitions. It effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic confrontation.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clarity in terms of the characters' motivations and actions. It is unclear why Leonard decides to let Dodd go and take his car, especially after cleaning him up and unbinding him.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Teddy feels forced and lacks depth. The banter about the cars and mustaches does not add much to the scene or the overall story.
  • The transition from the motel to the highway is abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the narrative.
  • The interaction between Leonard and Teddy in the sedan feels disconnected from the rest of the scene and does not contribute significantly to the plot development.
  • The introduction of Natalie at the end of the scene feels rushed and could benefit from more build-up and tension.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the characters' motivations and decisions to make their actions more believable and consistent with their personalities.
  • Revise the dialogue to add depth and meaning to the interaction between Leonard and Teddy, focusing on advancing the plot and revealing character traits.
  • Smooth out the transitions between locations to maintain the flow of the scene and keep the audience engaged.
  • Consider reworking the interaction between Leonard and Teddy in the sedan to make it more relevant to the overall story and character development.
  • Build up the introduction of Natalie to create more tension and intrigue, setting the stage for the next part of the story.



Scene 15 -  Pressure and Violence
75 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 75
Leonard (boxers, bandaged arm) talks on the phone as he takes
a NEEDLE and tapes it to the BALL-POINT PEN.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
50.
75 CONTINUED: 75
LEONARD
What Mrs. Jankis didn’t understand was
that you can’t bully someone into
remembering... the more pressure you’re
under, the harder it gets.
(listens)
Then call me back.
Leonard hangs up.
76 INT. DODD’S MOTEL ROOM BATHROOM – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 76
Leonard sits on the toilet, grasping an empty VODKA BOTTLE by
the neck. He notices the bottle in his hands as if for the
first time.
LEONARD (V.O.)
Don’t feel drunk.
Leonard looks up from the VODKA BOTTLE, sighs, rubs his face,
then stands up. He SNIFFS at his armpit.
He puts the empty bottle on the counter by the sink, then
wearily UNDRESSES.
Leonard, NAKED, looks in the mirror, then RUNS THE SHOWER
then steps under it, shutting the PEBBLED PLASTIC STALL DOOR.
Leonard SHOWERS. He turns the water off, then hears the DOOR
BEING UNLOCKED. Leonard freezes, standing in the SHOWER
STALL, NAKED and DRIPPING. Through the distortion of the
PEBBLED PLASTIC DOOR, Leonard sees a FIGURE enter the
bathroom and start pissing into the toilet. The distorted
Figure turns and approaches the shower stall, becoming
clearer as it gets closer, then YANKS the door open. It is
Dodd (WITHOUT INJURIES). He is SHOCKED to see the naked
Leonard. Leonard BURSTS out of the shower stall, SMASHING
Dodd against the wall.
Dodd STRUGGLES around, grabbing at the SLIPPERY, naked
Leonard. Dodd PUSHES against Leonard, SLASMMING him into the
sink.
Leonard has his arms around Dodd’s neck. Leonard SMASHES
Dodd’s head sideways into the wall, HARD.
Dodd SLUMPS to the floor. Leonard exhales. Dodd puts a FIST
in Leonard’s crotch, then GRABS his neck as he doubles over.
Dodd uses Leonard to pull himself off the floor then PUNCHES
the side of his head and pushes him HARD, Leonard FLAILING
wildly, GRABBING THE EMPTY VODKA BOTTLE from by the sink as
he falls back into the bedroom. Dodd reaches into his INSIDE
POCKET.
51.
77 INT. DODD’S MOTEL ROOM — DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 77
Leonard STUMBLES in, naked, from the bathroom, swings around,
HITTING Dodd square in the face with the empty vodka bottle,
which does not break.
Dodd lies still on the floor, bleeding, his hand still in his
inside jacket pocket. Leonard stands above him, naked,
dripping wet, catching his breath.
There is a KNOCK at the door.
FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
Housekeeping.
The sound of a KEY entering the lock. Leonard LEAPS for the
door and flips the privacy latch.
LEONARD
Not just now!
Leonard listens to the maid withdraw her key. Leonard
SEARCHES Dodd, finding his GUN in his inside pocket. Leonard
examines the weapon, then starts to search the room. Leonard
finds an overnight bag at the bottom of the closet. Inside it
there are some clothes, spare ammunition, a large hunting
knife, and a roll of SILVER ELECTRICAL TAPE.
Leonard WRAPS the electrical tape around Dodd’s wrists, then
across his mouth. Leonard finishes taping up Dodd, then sits
him on the edge of the bed. Leonard takes a POLAROID
PHOTOGRAPH of the bloody, taped-up Dodd.
Leonard shoves Dodd into the closet, takes out a NOTE and
consults it, then writes “DODD” on the white strip on the
front of the photograph. He flips the picture over and writes
on the strip on the back, in smaller writing:
“GET RID OF HIM, ASK NATALIE”
Leonard dresses, puts the Polaroid into the inside pocket of
his jacket. He looks again at the note. It says:
“DODD, MOUNTCREST INN ON 5TH STREET, ROOM 6” *
“PUT HIM ONTO TEDDY OR JUST GET RID OF HIM FOR NATALIE”
Leonard picks the stack of Polaroids out of his outside
jacket pocket. He flips through them until he finds the one
of Teddy, then picks up the phone and dials Teddy’s number.
The phone is answered:



(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
52.
77 CONTINUED: 77
TEDDY (O.S.)
You know what to do.
Then a BEEP. Leonard does not look like he knows what to do.
LEONARD
Ah, it’s a message for Teddy... *
Leonard looks at the note.
LEONARD (cont’d)
I’m at the MOUNTCREST INN on 5th Street,
Room 6, and I need you to come over as
soon as you get this, it’s important.
This is Leonard. Thanks. Bye.
Leonard hangs up. He looks around the room. He slips the
HANDGUN into the bedside drawer, resting it on the GIDEON
BIBLE, then swings his feet up onto the bed and lies down.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Leonard is stressed and confused as he talks on the phone about memory under pressure. He attacks and ties up Dodd in a motel room, leaving him in a closet. Leonard struggles with what to do next, calling Teddy for help before lying down on the bed.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • Innovative use of Polaroid photograph
Weaknesses
  • Some violence may be disturbing to some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with intense conflict, emotional depth, and a sense of urgency. It effectively builds suspense and keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using a Polaroid photograph to communicate a message adds a layer of intrigue and mystery to the scene. The exploration of memory and trust enhances the complexity of the narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot is gripping, with a high level of tension and conflict between the characters. The revelation of Dodd's true identity and Leonard's actions to deal with the situation drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its approach to memory loss and identity, presenting a fresh take on the noir genre. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the tension and mystery.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Leonard and Dodd are well-developed, with conflicting motivations and emotions. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both Leonard and Dodd undergo significant changes during the scene, as their true identities and motivations are revealed. These changes add depth to their characters and drive the narrative forward.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate his memory loss and the challenges it presents. He is struggling to remember and make sense of his past, which reflects his deeper fears and desires for clarity and understanding.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to deal with the immediate threat of Dodd and figure out his next steps in the unfolding mystery. He needs to handle the situation with Dodd and make a decision on how to proceed.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard and Dodd is intense and multi-layered, driving the tension of the scene. The high stakes and emotional stakes heighten the conflict and keep the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Dodd presenting a physical and emotional challenge to the protagonist. The audience is unsure of how Leonard will overcome this obstacle.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters' lives and relationships on the line. The tension and suspense are heightened by the sense of danger and urgency.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward, revealing crucial information about the characters and their relationships. The resolution of the conflict sets the stage for further developments in the plot.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and twists, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

There is a philosophical conflict between the protagonist's desire for truth and clarity, and the external forces that are trying to manipulate or deceive him. This challenges his beliefs about memory and identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, with the characters' conflicting emotions and motivations driving the intensity of the confrontation. The audience is emotionally invested in the outcome of the scene.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and intentions effectively. It adds to the tension and suspense of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense action, suspenseful pacing, and the protagonist's internal struggles. The audience is drawn into the mystery and tension of the situation.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a rhythmic flow that keeps the audience engaged. The action sequences are well-paced and impactful.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for its genre. The visual descriptions enhance the atmosphere and tension.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, building tension and conflict effectively. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's intensity.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Leonard talking on the phone, which sets the tone for the upcoming events. However, the transition to the bathroom where Dodd suddenly appears feels abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The physical altercation between Leonard and Dodd is intense and well-described, but the sequence of actions could be clearer to enhance the visual storytelling.
  • The introduction of the housekeeping knock adds tension to the scene, but the interaction with the maid could be further developed to increase suspense.
  • The discovery of Dodd's gun and the subsequent taping up and photographing of Dodd is a pivotal moment in the scene, but the execution of these actions could be more detailed to enhance the impact.
  • The phone call to Teddy at the end of the scene adds intrigue, but Leonard's uncertainty about what to do could be portrayed more effectively to create a stronger sense of urgency and conflict.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transition between Leonard talking on the phone and the sudden appearance of Dodd in the bathroom to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Clarify the sequence of actions during the physical altercation between Leonard and Dodd to enhance the visual storytelling and increase the impact of the confrontation.
  • Develop the interaction with the housekeeping maid to build suspense and create a more immersive atmosphere in the scene.
  • Provide more detail in the execution of Leonard's actions, such as discovering Dodd's gun, taping him up, and taking the photograph, to enhance the significance of these moments.
  • Emphasize Leonard's internal conflict and uncertainty when calling Teddy to convey a stronger sense of urgency and heighten the tension in the scene.



Scene 16 -  Confrontation at the Motel
78 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 78

Leonard (boxers, bandaged arm) crooks his neck to hold the *
phone. In his hands is the PEN with the NEEDLE taped to it.
Leonard wiggles the needle, then applies more tape.
CUT TO:
79 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUEWCE## 79
Leonard (boxers, bandaged arm) takes the NEEDLE/PEN in one
hand and picks up a CIGARETTE LIGHTER in the other.
Leonard IGNITES the lighter, then holds the needle over the flame.
He examines the NEEDLE, then holds it in the flame again.
Leonard puts down the lighter and picks up a second BALL-
POINT PEN.
80 EXT. DODD’S MOTEL - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 80
Leonard’s Jaguar pulls up, FAST. Several bits of SHATTERED
SAFETY GLASS are still visible in the frame. He parks around
the back, out of sight and consults a note.
LEONARD (V.0.)
I’ll get the jump on you, fucker.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
53.
80 CONTINUED: 80
Leonard RACES up the stairs to the rooms on the second floor.
He stops at Room 9, listening. The T.V. is on.
Leonard gets a CREDIT CARD out and slips it into the lock
gently, with a practiced hand. He leaves the CARD WEDGED in
the lock, then steps back from the door and KNOCKS.
Leonard watches the POINT OF LIGHT in the PEEPHOLE to Room 9.
The point of light GOES OUT. Leonard KICKS the door in,
SMASHING THE ROOM’S OCCUPANT BACK INTO THE ROOM.
Leonard stands over him, looking down. The man is
unconscious, blood on his face. Something is not right.
LEONARD (V.O.)
Is this the guy?
Leonard looks down at his NOTE. The room number given is 6.
Leonard looks at the “9” on the door, then down at the
unconscious man.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Fuck! Sorry.
Leonard reaches down, GRABS his credit card from where it
landed on the floor, and backs out of the doorway, shutting
the door on the Unconscious Man.
He MOVES QUICKLY to Room 6, slips his credit card in the lock
and knocks.
No answer, so Leonard slips inside.
81 INT. DODD’S MOTEL ROOM – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 81
Leonard flicks the light on and glances around. There is
nothing in the room except an empty VODKA BOTTLE on the
bedside table.
LEONARD (V.O.)
Need a weapon.
He grabs the empty vodka bottle, switches the light off and
slips into the bathroom.
82 INT. DODD’S MOTEL ROOM BATHROOM – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 82
Leonard sits down on the toilet, holding the empty bottle by
its neck. He reaches out and adjusts the angle of the door.
His eyes are alert, he is nervous. Waiting. And waiting.
83 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 83

(CONTINUED)
54.
83 CONTINUED: 83
Leonard (boxers, bandaged bicep), takes the second ball-point
pen and SNAPS it in two.
84 EXT. SMALL ALLEY BEHIND A ROW OF TRAILER HOMES – DAY <<COLOUR
SEQUENCE>>
Leonard is RUNNING FURIOUSLY, arms pumping.
LEONARD (V.O.)
What the fuck am I doing?
Leonard glances to his right, and through a GAP between two
trailers he catches a glimpse of Dodd on the other side of
the trailer homes, RACING along parallel to Leonard.
LEONARD (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Chasing him!
Leonard CUTS down the next gap between trailers, heading FULL
SPEED for Dodd’s side.
Dodd (without bruises) appears again at the other end of the
gap, SEES Leonard, and STARTS RUNNING TOWARDS HIM. There is a
GUN in his hand.
LEONARD (V.O.) (CONT’D)
FUCK! He’s chasing me.
Leonard SKIDS to a halt and turns around. A BULLET hits the
dirt by his feet. He clears the end of the trailer and THROWS
himself over a chain link fence, dropping down on the other
side and SCRAMBLING through some bushes. He RACES full tilt
into a parking lot, looking around, desperate. He can hear a
CAR ALARM sounding. He pulls his KEYS OUT and hits the ALARM
switch. Hearing the DOUBLE BEEP as the alarm stops, he spots
the Jaguar.
The Jaguar PEELS OUT just as Dodd emerges from the trailer
park.
85 INT. JAGUAR – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 85
Leonard is breathing hard, looking around nervously. He
starts knocking BITS OF BROKEN WINDOW GLASS out of the
driver’s side window with his elbow then pulling photos and
pieces of paper out of his pockets as he drives.
Leonard finds a NOTE that gives a description of Dodd, along
with the motel and room number where Dodd is staying.
CUT TO:
55.
86 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 86
Leonard (boxers, bandaged arm) has the NEEDLE/PEN in one hand *
and the BROKEN PEN in the other. Leonard DIPS the needle into
the clear plastic INK RESERVOIR off the broken pen.
87 EXT. TRAILER PARK PARKING LOT - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 87
Leonard is in the Jaguar. Dodd (without any bruises) is
standing by the window, aiming his gun at Leonard.
DODD
I haven’t made a strong enough
impression.
LEONARD
(amused)
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Dodd motions for Leonard to open the passenger side door.
Dodd gets into the passenger seat, gun on Leonard. Leonard
nods to him.
LEONARD
Seat belt.
Leonard starts to reach over his left shoulder with his right
hand as if for the seat belt. Dodd watches Leonard’s right
hand.
With his left hand, Leonard opens the door. He rolls out,
SLAMMING the door in Dodd’s face, and hitting the central
locking on his car keys.
Leonard TAKES OFF across the asphalt. Dodd tries the doors,
then SHOOTS at Leonard, SHATTERING the driver’s side window,
triggering the CAR ALARM.
Dodd climbs through the window and takes off after him.
Leonard slips into a trailer park, TRIPPING as he DIVES into
a gap between two trailers, STUMBLING over the PLASTIC LAWN
FURNITURE and OLD BIKES which litter the narrow gap.
He picks himself up and SPRINTS into the alley behind the
trailers. He races along behind the trailers.
Leonard is RUNNING FURIOUSLY, arms pumping.
LEONARD (V.O.)(cont’d)
What the fuck am I doing?


(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
56.
87 CONTINUED: 87
Leonard glances to his right, and through a GAP between the
two trailers he catches a glimpse of Dodd on the other side
of the trailer homes, racing along parallel to Leonard.
LEONARD (V.O.) (cont’d)
Chasing him!
Leonard cuts down the next gap between trailers, heading FULL
SPEED for Dodd’s side.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Action"]

Summary Leonard prepares a makeshift weapon and confronts Dodd at a motel. He tricks Dodd and escapes, leading him on a chase through a trailer park and alley.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Suspenseful pacing
  • Desperate tone
  • Engaging plot twists
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Lack of character development for secondary characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a fast-paced chase, intense action, and a sense of desperation that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a chase scene involving a mysterious character like Dodd and Leonard's determined pursuit adds depth to the storyline and showcases the complexities of Leonard's character.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly in this scene as Leonard's pursuit of Dodd leads to unexpected twists and turns, adding layers to the mystery and suspense of the story.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh take on the revenge thriller genre, with unique character motivations and plot twists.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Leonard and Dodd are well-developed in this scene, with their actions and motivations driving the narrative forward and adding depth to their respective arcs.

Character Changes: 7

Both Leonard and Dodd undergo changes in this scene, with Leonard's determination and Dodd's desperation driving their actions and decisions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to confront the person he believes is responsible for his situation, reflecting his desire for closure and justice.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to track down and confront the person he believes is responsible for his current predicament.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard and Dodd, as well as Leonard's internal struggle with his memory loss, creates a high level of tension and suspense in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing physical and emotional challenges.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the chase, the threat of violence, and the unknown motives of Dodd raise the tension and suspense to a critical level, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new challenges, escalating the conflict, and deepening the mystery surrounding Leonard's pursuit of Dodd.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable due to unexpected plot twists and character decisions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's sense of justice and revenge, as well as the consequences of his actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes fear, anxiety, and determination in the audience, as they are drawn into the intense chase and the emotional turmoil of the characters.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but impactful, conveying the urgency and tension of the chase through brief exchanges between Leonard and Dodd.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced action, suspenseful moments, and character development.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-crafted, with a balance of action and suspense that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear transitions and visual descriptions.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear and engaging structure, building tension and suspense effectively.


Critique
  • The transition from black and white to color sequences adds an interesting visual element to the scene, but it could be further developed to enhance the storytelling.
  • The tension and suspense in the scene are well-executed, especially with Leonard's discovery of the unconscious man in the motel room and his subsequent actions.
  • The use of visual cues, such as the broken window glass and the empty vodka bottle, effectively sets the tone for Leonard's state of mind and the unfolding events.
  • The chase sequence between Leonard and Dodd in the trailer park is thrilling and keeps the audience engaged, but it could benefit from more clarity in the action sequences.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Dodd adds depth to their characters and the dynamic between them, but could be further explored to reveal more about their motivations.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transition between the black and white and color sequences to create a more seamless and impactful shift in tone.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by focusing on key visual elements that symbolize Leonard's state of mind and the escalating tension in the scene.
  • Clarify the action sequences during the chase between Leonard and Dodd to ensure that the audience can follow the events clearly and feel the intensity of the pursuit.
  • Further develop the dialogue between Leonard and Dodd to delve deeper into their relationship and motivations, adding layers to their characters and the unfolding narrative.



Scene 17 -  Confrontation in the Parking Lot
88 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 88
Leonard looks at the INK-COVERED NEEDLE. Leonard consults the
FILE CARD. It has a HANDWRITTEN MESSAGE:
“TATTOO: ACCESS TO DRUGS”
CUT TO:
89 EXT. DISCOUNT INN – NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 89
*
Leonard exits room 304 of the Discount Inn carrying a
*
SHOPPING BAG, looking GRIM-FACED.
90 INT. JAGUAR – NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 90
Leonard gets in, gently places the bag on the passenger seat.
91 EXT. STREET – NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 91
The Jaguar speeds along.
92 EXT. PARKING LOT OVERLOOKING RESERVOIR – NIGHT <<COLOUR 92
SEQUENCE>>
Leonard gets out of the Jaguar, carrying the shopping bag. He
climbs the chain-link fence.
93 EXT. RESERVOIR – NIGHT – SAME <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 93
Leonard has built a small FIRE. He reaches into the bag and
removes a small STUFFED TOY. He douses it with lighter fluid
and places it on the fire. He watches the fur blacken and the
plastic eyes melt.
Leonard reaches into the bag and pulls out a well-worn
PAPERBACK BOOK, whose cover has long-since been ripped off.
Leonard flicks through the pages.
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
57.
94 INT. BEDROOM, LEONARD’S APARTMENT – NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>94
Leonard is undressing. Leonard’s Wife is in bed, reading the
well-worn paperback.
LEONARD
How can you read that again?
LEONARD’S WIFE
(without looking up)
It’s good.
LEONARD
You’ve read it a hundred times.
LEONARD’S WIFE
I enjoy it.
LEONARD
Yeah, but the pleasure of a book is in
wanting to know what happens next –
LEONARD’S WIFE
(looks up, annoyed)
Don’t be a prick. I’m not reading it to
annoy you, I enjoy it. Just let me read,
please.
95 EXT. RESERVOIR – NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 95
He places the BOOK on the fire. He reaches into the bag,
produces a BRA and a HAIRBRUSH. He puts the bra on the fire,
then pulls some BLACK HAIR out of the hairbrush. He holds a
few strands out above the fire until they shrivel up in the
heat. He does this with a larger clump and it produces a
SMALL FLAME so he DROPS it into the fire.
LEONARD (V.O.)
Probably tried this before. Probably
burned truckloads of your stuff. Can’t
remember to forget you.
He DROPS the brush onto the fire, pulls a GREEN ALARM CLOCK
out of the bag and adds it to the fire. Once the bag is
EMPTY, Leonard places it on the fire. He sits looking at the
flames.
DISSOLVE TO:
96 EXT. RESERVOIR – DAWN <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 96
The sky has brightened. Leonard KICKS the dying embers apart.
58.
97 INT./EXT. DAWN – THE JAGUAR SPEEDS ALONG <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 97
Leonard looks into his rearview mirror to see a LANDCRUISER
following him. Leonard SPEEDS UP, turns right. The
Landcruiser sticks behind.
LEONARD (V.O.)
Do I know this guy?
Leonard fishes photographs out of his pocket, examining them.
The Landcruiser ACCELERATES until it is uncomfortably close.
Leonard slows, turning into a PARKING LOT. The Landcruiser
follows.
LEONARD (V.O.)
He seems to know me.
The Landcruiser PULLS ALONGSIDE the Jaguar. Leonard looks
over. Dodd (no bruises) is at the wheel. Leonard rolls down
his window.
LEONARD (V.O.)
What the fuck!
Dodd pulls out a HASNDGUN and points it at Leonard. Leonard
SLAMS on the brakes, JERKING to a halt as the Landcruiser
pulls over in front of the Jaguar.
98 EXT. TRAILER PARK PARKING LOT – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 98
Dodd, gun in hand, gets out of the Landcruiser and
approaches.
DODD
I like your car.
LEONARD
Thanks.
DODD
Where’d you get it?
LEONARD
Interested in buying one?
DODD
I just want you to tell me how you came
by that car.
LEONARD
I forget.
Dodd points his gun at Leonard through the window.
(CONTINUED)
59.
98 CONTINUED: 98
DODD
I haven’t made a strong enough impression
on you.
LEONARD
(amused)
I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself.
99 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 99
Leonard (boxers, bandaged arm) drops the FILE CARD and
presses the INK-COVERED NEEDLE against his thigh. Leonard *
pushes the ink-covered needle against his thigh, ABOUT TO
BREAK THE SKIN.
The PHONE RINGS, surprising Leonard. He watches it ring, then
reaches out with his BANDAGED arm to lift the receiver.
LEONARD
Who is this?
CUT TO:
100 INT. MOTEL ROOM 304 - NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 100
Leonard is WOKEN by the sound of a door SHUTTING FIRMLY. He
turns his head to see a glow from under the bathroom door.
In the dim light he can see a well-worn, COVERLESS PAPERBACK
BOOK on the far bedside table. Next to it is a HAIRBRUSH and
a drinking glass half-full of water. There is a small STUFFED
TOY sitting by the pillow next to Leonard’s head. Leonard’s
eyes are half—closed as he slides his hand onto the other
half of the bed, feeling the residual warmth, smiling.
He props himself up on one arm, rubs his eyes and reaches
over to the SMALL, GREEN ALARM CLOCK, straining to read its
numbers in the dim light. He breathes heavily, sleepily and
shuts his eyes for a second, UTTERLY CONTENT.
LEONARD
(about to tell her something)
Honey?
The sound of the SHOWER being run. Leonard opens his eyes and
looks over to the bathroom door.
LEONARD (cont’d)
(relaxed)
Honey? It’s late.
Leonard swings his legs over and sits on the edge of the bed.
Move in on Leonard’s face.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
60.
100 CONTINUED: 100
LEONARD (cont’d)
Everything okay?
Leonard looks around with growing unease.
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Leonard burns personal items in a fire and is confronted by Dodd, who threatens him at gunpoint and demands to know how he got his car. Leonard remains calm and amused, but the conflict is not resolved.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Symbolism
Weaknesses
  • Some ambiguity in character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys Leonard's emotional turmoil and adds depth to his character, creating a sense of mystery and suspense.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of burning personal items to symbolize letting go of memories and past trauma is innovative and adds a layer of complexity to the narrative.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses as Leonard grapples with his memories and confronts his past, leading to a tense encounter with Dodd.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its unconventional structure, nonlinear storytelling, and thematic depth. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Leonard, are well-developed and their internal struggles are effectively portrayed, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Leonard undergoes internal changes as he grapples with his memories and confronts his past, adding complexity to his character.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront his past and come to terms with his memories and emotions. This is reflected in his actions of burning personal items and reflecting on his relationship with his wife.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to evade a mysterious pursuer and navigate a dangerous encounter with Dodd. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the present moment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Leonard and Dodd raises the tension and keeps the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing a dangerous encounter with Dodd and a mysterious pursuer. The audience is kept on edge by the uncertainty of the protagonist's situation.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as Leonard confronts his past and faces potential danger from Dodd.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing more about Leonard's past and setting up future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the protagonist's encounters and the mysterious nature of the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around memory, identity, and the nature of reality. The protagonist's struggle to remember and understand his past challenges his beliefs and perceptions of himself.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional impact of Leonard's struggle with his memories and past trauma is palpable, evoking a sense of empathy from the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is engaging and reveals important information about the characters and their motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its suspenseful atmosphere, complex character dynamics, and thematic depth. The audience is drawn into the protagonist's journey of self-discovery and survival.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments, character interactions, and reflective pauses. The rhythm of the scene enhances its emotional impact and narrative progression.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is effective in conveying the visual and tonal elements of the story, such as the use of color sequences and descriptive language.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows a nonlinear format, which is appropriate for the genre and enhances the sense of mystery and suspense.


Critique
  • The transition from a black and white sequence to a color sequence may be confusing for the audience and could benefit from a smoother transition or clearer indication of the change.
  • The scene where Leonard burns personal items in a fire lacks clear motivation or context, leaving the audience unsure of the significance of his actions.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and his wife in the flashback scene feels a bit forced and could be more natural and engaging.
  • The visual elements of burning personal items and the stuffed toy may need more context or symbolism to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • The introduction of Dodd and the confrontation with Leonard in the parking lot feels abrupt and could use more build-up or tension to create a more impactful moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider providing more context or backstory to explain Leonard's actions of burning personal items in the fire.
  • Work on making the transition between the black and white sequence and color sequence smoother and more seamless.
  • Refine the dialogue between Leonard and his wife in the flashback scene to make it more authentic and engaging.
  • Add more symbolism or meaning to the visual elements of burning personal items to enhance the emotional depth of the scene.
  • Build up the confrontation with Dodd in the parking lot to create more tension and impact.



Scene 18 -  Cocaine in the Bathroom
101 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT BATHROOM – NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>101
TREMBLING, SHALLOW-FOCUS EXTREME CLOSE UPS:
A glass bottle SHATTERS against a tiled floor, bath salts and
glass spreading out over the black and white tiles.
102 INT. MOTEL ROOM 304 – NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 102
Leonard RISES from the bed, STARING at the bathroom door.
103 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT BATHROOM – NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>103
SUDDEN MOVEMENT glimpsed through a WATER-BEADED CLEAR PLASTIC
SHOWER CURTAIN. Mirror SHATTERING.
104 INT. MOTEL ROOM 304 – NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 104
Leonard is at the bathroom door. He TAPS gently.
105 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT BATHROOM – NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>105
The wet plastic shower curtain pulls TAUT across a GASPING,
THRASHING FEMALE FACE.
106 INT. MOTEL ROOM 304 – NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 106
Leonard KNOCKS again. No answer. He KNOCKS louder, concerned.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Are you okay in there?!
Leonard GRABS the handle, THROWS OPEN THE DOOR.
107 INT. STEAM-FILLED BATHROOM ROOM 304 – NIGHT <<COLOUR 107
SEQUENCE>>
A BLONDE WOMAN in a silk dressing gown, seated on the toilet,
looks up from SNORTING a line of cocaine off a small hand
mirror. She GIGGLES as she speaks to Leonard.
BLONDE
Was it good for you?
Leonard stands in the doorway, SHAKEN. The Blonde realizes
that Leonard is not happy.
(CONTINUED)
61.
107 CONTINUED: 107
BLONDE (cont’d)
Shit. Was I supposed to lock the door?
LEONARD
No. That would have been worse.
Leonard moves to turn off the shower.
LEONARD (cont’d)
I’d like you to leave now.
108 INT. DISCOUNT INN, ROOM 304 - NIGHT - LATER <<COLOUR 108
SEQUENCE>>
Leonard, fully clothed, grabs a SHOPPING BAG from the closet,
and does a quick circuit of the room, grabbing various items
(the paperback book, hairbrush, alarm clock, stuffed toy) and
STUFFING them into the bag.
109 EXT. DISCOUNT INN - NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 109
Leonard comes out of Room 304, grim-faced, carrying the
shopping bag. He goes to his Jaguar and gets in.
CUT TO:
110 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - NIGHT ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 110
Leonard (boxers, bandaged arm) dips the NEEDLE into the ink *
reservoir and PUNCTURES the skin of his thigh, talking on the
phone.
LEONARD
Well, sir, that would certainly be in
keeping with some of my own discoveries.
Yeah, I was hoping to get more on the
drugs angle. Hang on a second.
Leonard drops the needle/pen, pulls a LARGE FILE out of his
sports bag and opens it on the bed.
LEONARD (cont’d)
The police report mentioned the drugs
found in the car outside my house. The
car was stolen, but his prints were all
over it, along with some of his stuff.
And I think there’s something...
(flips through pages)
Something about a syringe...
(flips pages, confused)
I’ve got a copy of the police report.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
61A.
110 CONTINUED: 110
LEONARD (cont’d)
It has lots of information, but with my
condition, it’s tough. I can’t really
keep it all in mind at once.




(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
62.
110 CONTINUED: (2) 110
Leonard looks at the back of the file, where he has written a *
list of ‘CONCLUSIONS’. *
LEONARD (cont’d) *
I have to keep summarizing the different *
sections... *
Leonard flips back to the front page. on it there is a
handwritten note: “MISSING PAGES: 14—17, 19, 23...
LEONARD (cont’d)
Yeah, and there’s pages missing... I
guess I’ve been trying to log them all.
(listens, smiles)
The police gave me the report
themselves. I dealt with them a lot in
my insurance job, and I had friends in
the department. They must have figured
that if I saw the facts of the case,
then I would stop believing that we
needed to find John G.
Leonard flips to the back page to look at his HANDWRITTEN
CONCLUSIONS.
LEONARD (cont’d)
They weren’t even looking for John G.
The stuff they found in the car just fit
in with what they believed had happened,
so they didn’t chase any of it up.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Leonard discovers a blonde woman snorting cocaine in his bathroom. He is shaken and asks her to leave. He then packs his belongings, including a paperback book, hairbrush, alarm clock, and stuffed toy. Leonard realizes that pages are missing from the police report he has on the motel room murder and makes a note of it.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Intriguing plot twists
  • Complex character development
Weaknesses
  • Some confusion in the narrative progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and mystery, keeping the audience engaged with its unexpected twists and turns.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss and investigation is well-executed, adding depth to the character of Leonard and driving the plot forward.

Plot: 8

The plot thickens with new revelations and conflicts, pushing the story towards a more intense and intriguing direction.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to a familiar situation of a confrontation between characters, with a focus on internal conflict and moral dilemmas. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters, especially Leonard, are further developed through their actions and interactions, showcasing their complexities and motivations.

Character Changes: 7

Leonard undergoes a significant emotional and psychological change as he grapples with new information and confronts unexpected situations, adding depth to his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain control and composure despite being shaken by the unexpected encounter with the Blonde woman. This reflects his need for order and stability in the face of chaos.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to remove the Blonde woman from his apartment and maintain a sense of control over the situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, driving the tension and suspense higher as Leonard navigates through his investigation and personal struggles.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the Blonde woman's behavior challenging the protagonist's values and beliefs.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Leonard delves deeper into his investigation, facing dangerous situations and uncovering shocking truths that could change everything.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new clues, conflicts, and revelations, pushing the narrative towards a more intense and intriguing direction.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions and reactions of the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's moral values and his reaction to the Blonde woman's behavior. It challenges his beliefs about trust and boundaries.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from anxiety to curiosity, as the characters face unexpected challenges and revelations.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and confusion present in the scene, adding depth to the characters and their relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense visual descriptions, emotional conflict, and suspenseful atmosphere.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear progression of events and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a dramatic and intense moment of Leonard finding a blonde woman snorting cocaine in his motel room, which adds an element of surprise and tension.
  • The transition between Leonard's apartment bathroom and the motel room is well done, creating a sense of continuity and connection between the two locations.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and the blonde woman is engaging and adds a touch of dark humor to the scene.
  • Leonard's reaction to the situation is realistic and adds depth to his character, showing his vulnerability and inner turmoil.
  • The visual descriptions in the scene are vivid and help to create a clear picture of the setting and characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or thoughts from Leonard to provide insight into his emotions and thought process during the encounter with the blonde woman.
  • Explore the aftermath of this encounter and how it impacts Leonard's actions and decisions in the following scenes.
  • Introduce subtle hints or clues in this scene that foreshadow future events or reveal more about Leonard's past and motivations.
  • Enhance the tension and suspense in the scene by building up to the reveal of the blonde woman's presence in a more gradual and suspenseful manner.
  • Consider incorporating elements of symbolism or metaphor to deepen the thematic layers of the scene and add complexity to the narrative.



Scene 19 -  Leonard's Motel Encounter
111 EXT. DISCOUNT INN - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 111
Leonard pulls up in the Jaguar, checks the name against a
NOTE written on a BEER MAT, and heads into the office.
Leonard comes out of the office, gets a sports bag from the
Jaguar, then takes a Polaroid of the entrance and heads for
Room 304.
112 INT. DISCOUNT INN - ROOM 304 - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 112
Leonard enters the unoccupied room, flapping the Polaroid
photo. He sifts through his sports bag, pulls out a pen and
writes the motel’s address on the picture.
With well-practiced, efficient movements, Leonard removes his
wall chart from the sports bag, unrolls it, sticks it to the
wall. He takes a stack of Polaroids out of the sports bag and
works through them, considering each new picture and finding
its proper place on the chart like someone playing solitaire.
LATER:
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
62A.
112 CONTINUED: 112
Leonard flips through the yellow pages, looking under “Escort
Services”.
LATER:
Leonard is on the phone.




(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
63.
112 CONTINUED: 112
LEONARD
None? Okay, blonde. Yeah, blonde is fine.
Discount Inn, 304. Leonard. *
LATER:
Leonard opens the door to the Blonde.
LATER:
The Blonde is looking curiously at the chart, drink in hand.
Leonard is in the chair.
BLONDE
Well, what then?
LEONARD
It’s simple, you just go to the bathroom.
The Blonde turns, surprised. Leonard smiles, embarrassed.
LEONARD (cont’d)
No, you just go into the bathroom. We go
to bed, you wait till I fall asleep, then
you go into the bathroom and slam the door.
BLONDE
Slam it?
LEONARD
Just loud enough to wake me up.
BLONDE
That’s it?
LEONARD
That’s it.
Leonard gets up, pulls a paper shopping bag out of the closet
and hands it to the Blonde.
LEONARD (cont’d)
But, first I need you to put these things
around.
The Blonde looks confused.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Just pretend these things are yours, and
this is your bedroom.
The Blonde pulls a bra out of the bag.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
64.
112 CONTINUED: (3) 112
BLONDE
Should I wear it?
LEONARD
No. Just leave the stuff lying around as
if it were yours. Like you just took it
off or something.
BLONDE
Whatever gets you off.
The Blonde pulls the hairbrush out of the bag. She moves to
brush her hair with it, but Leonard stops her.
LEONARD
No! No, don’t use it, you, I mean it’s...
you just have to put it where you would
if it were yours.
The Blonde sees the BLACK HAIR stuck in the brush.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Leonard meticulously prepares his motel room, enlists an escort for assistance, and attempts to unravel the mystery of his wife's murder amid his memory loss.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Character development
  • Emotional depth
  • Mystery elements
Weaknesses
  • Potential confusion for the audience due to complex setup

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and mystery, engaging the audience with its intricate setup and emotional depth. The interaction between Leonard and the Blonde adds layers to Leonard's character and sets the stage for further developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Leonard setting up a scenario for the Blonde to follow, while revealing his meticulous nature and emotional vulnerability, is intriguing and well-executed. It adds depth to the character and advances the plot in a compelling way.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as Leonard interacts with the Blonde, setting up a complex scenario that hints at deeper emotional and psychological themes. The scene adds layers to Leonard's quest for answers and his internal struggles.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and unconventional approach to the noir genre, blending elements of mystery, psychological thriller, and character study. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene delves into Leonard's character, showcasing his methodical nature, emotional vulnerability, and complex motivations. The interaction with the Blonde reveals new facets of Leonard's personality and sets the stage for character development.

Character Changes: 7

Leonard undergoes subtle changes in the scene, revealing new layers of his character and setting the stage for further development. The interaction with the Blonde hints at deeper emotional and psychological complexities within Leonard.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to maintain control and order in his life, despite his memory loss. This reflects his deeper need for stability and security in a chaotic and uncertain world.

External Goal: 7.5

Leonard's external goal is to gather information and clues about his past by interacting with the Blonde. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in piecing together his fragmented memories.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The scene features internal conflict within Leonard as he navigates his interactions with the Blonde, setting up a tense and suspenseful atmosphere. The conflict adds depth to the character dynamics and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting motivations and hidden agendas driving the interactions between Leonard and the Blonde. The audience is left uncertain of the outcome, adding to the suspense and intrigue.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes in the scene are driven by Leonard's quest for answers, his emotional vulnerability, and the mysterious nature of his interactions with the Blonde. The tension and suspense create a sense of urgency and importance in the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of Leonard's character, introducing new plot elements, and setting up future developments. The intricate setup with the Blonde adds layers to the narrative and advances the overarching mystery.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and dialogue. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of the true motivations and intentions of the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of identity, control, and manipulation. Leonard's actions and dialogue challenge traditional notions of morality and ethics.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, curiosity, and vulnerability. Leonard's emotional depth and the mysterious nature of the interaction with the Blonde create a strong emotional impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue between Leonard and the Blonde is tense, mysterious, and emotionally charged. It effectively conveys the complex dynamics between the characters and adds depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intriguing premise, complex characters, and suspenseful atmosphere. The interactions between Leonard and the Blonde create tension and mystery, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, gradually revealing new information and escalating the conflict between the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action descriptions, and character dialogue. The technical writing proficiency enhances the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the high stakes and the character's amnesia and quest for revenge. The pacing feels slow and the actions of setting up the room and interacting with the Blonde do not contribute significantly to the overall plot.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and the Blonde feels forced and unnatural, lacking depth and emotional resonance. The interaction could be more engaging and meaningful to add depth to the characters and their motivations.
  • The visual elements described in the scene, such as Leonard setting up the wall chart and the Blonde looking curiously at it, do not add much to the scene or enhance the storytelling. The visuals could be utilized more effectively to create a sense of atmosphere and tension.
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose, with Leonard's actions of setting up the room for the Blonde feeling disconnected from the larger narrative. The scene could benefit from a stronger focus on advancing the main plot and character development.
  • The introduction of the Blonde character and the setup for her role in the scene could be more compelling and engaging, adding depth to the interaction between her and Leonard.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more tension and urgency to the scene to reflect the high stakes of Leonard's quest for revenge and his struggle with amnesia.
  • Revise the dialogue between Leonard and the Blonde to make it more natural, engaging, and emotionally resonant.
  • Enhance the visual elements in the scene to create a sense of atmosphere and tension that complements the storytelling.
  • Ensure that the actions and interactions in the scene contribute meaningfully to the overall plot and character development.
  • Develop the character of the Blonde and her role in the scene to make her interaction with Leonard more compelling and impactful.



Scene 20 -  Memory Maze
113 INT. DISCOUNT INN ROOM 304 - NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 113
The lights are off. The Blonde and Leonard are lying side by
side in bed.
The Blonde checks to see that Leonard is asleep, then slips
out of bed. She grabs her purse then opens the bathroom door.
She looks back at Leonard, asleep. She moves into the
bathroom and shuts the door firmly, making a LOUD BANG.
Leonard’s EYES OPEN.
114 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQCTENCE## 114
Leonard (boxers, bandaged arm) TATTOOS HIMSELF as he talks on *
the phone. So far he has tattooed:
“FACT 5.”
LEONARD
The drugs stashed in the car doesn’t
ring true for me.
Leonard consults his FILE CARD, which says:
“TATTOO: ACCESS TO DRUGS”
LEONARD (cont’d)
The police figure the guy was an addict
needing money to score, but I’m not
convinced. He’s not gonna be breaking in
when he’s still got a stash that big.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
65.
114 CONTINUED: 114
LEONARD (cont’d)
(listens)
I think John G. left it or planted it.
(listens)
Well, it was a lot for one guy’s
personal use.
(listens)
How do you know that?
(listens, checks report)
Right, that’s true. It fits.
(listens)
Too much for personal use, so he deals.
Leonard takes his pen and alters his FILE CARD to read:
“TATTOO: FACT 5. DRUG DEALER”
Leonard picks up the NEEDLE/PEN and continues his tattoo.
115 EXT. NATALIE’S HOUSE – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 115
The CAR ALARM of the Jaguar is SOUNDING.
Leonard exits, walks to the car and gets in, switching off
the alarm.
TEDDY (O.S.)
You should lock a car as nice as this.
Teddy is in the passenger seat. Leonard, startled, GRABS him
by the throat.
LEONARD
Who the fuck are you?
TEDDY
(gasping)
Teddy. Your buddy.
LEONARD
Prove it.
TEDDY
(gasping)
Sammy. Remember Sammy. You told me about
Sammy.
Leonard lets him go.
LEONARD
What are you doing in my car?
Teddy is now wearing his big grin, rubbing his neck.
(CONTINUED)
66.
115 CONTINUED: 115
TEDDY
Sense of humour went with the memory,
huh? You know why you’re still here,
don’t you?
LEONARD
Unfinished business.
TEDDY
Lenny, as a buddy, let me inform you.
Your business here is very much finished.
You’re still here because of Natalie.
LEONARD
Who’s she?
Teddy chuckles.
TEDDY
Whose house do you think you just walked
out of?
Leonard looks at the house. Teddy motions towards Leonard’s
pockets.
TEDDY (cont’d)
Take a look at your pictures, I bet you
got one of her.
Leonard pulls out his Polaroids and flips through them. He
pauses at the one of Natalie. Teddy SWIPES it out of his
hands to get a better look at the blurred image of Natalie
turning in a doorway.
TEDDY (cont’d)
Great shot, Lenny.
Teddy flips the photo over. There is nothing on the back.
Teddy hands it back to Leonard.
TEDDY (cont’d)
You wanna make a note that you can’t
trust her.
LEONARD
Why’s that?
TEDDY
Because she’ll have taken one look at
your clothes and your car and started
thinking of ways to turn the situation to
her advantage. She’s already got you
staying with her, for fuck’s sake.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
67.
115 CONTINUED: (2) 115
TEDDY (cont’d)
You can’t stay with her. Let me give you
the name of a motel.
Teddy starts looking for a piece of paper.
TEDDY (cont’d)
Good thing I found you. She’s bad news.
LEONARD
What do you mean “bad news”?
TEDDY
She’s involved with these drug dealers.
Teddy opens the GLOVE COMPARTMENT, finding a STACK OF BEER
MATS from a local bar called FERDY’S. *
TEDDY (cont’d)
See these? That’s the bar where she
works. Her boyfriend’s a drug dealer.
She’d take orders for him, arrange meets.
He’d write messages on these, then leave
it on the bar. She’d drop replies when
she served him drinks.
LEONARD
Why should I care?
Teddy starts writing on the BEER MAT.
TEDDY
She’s gonna use you. To protect herself.
LEONARD
From who?
TEDDY
Guys who’ll come after her. Guys who’ll
want to know what happened to her
boyfriend. They’ll want to make somebody
pay. Maybe she’ll try and make it you.
LEONARD
Yeah, well maybe she’ll make it you. Is
that it? You worried she’ll use me
against you?
TEDDY
She couldn’t.
LEONARD
Why not?
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
68.
115 CONTINUED: (3) 115
TEDDY
(grins)
She has no idea who I am.
LEONARD
Why are you following me?
TEDDY
I’m trying to help you. I knew she’d get
her claws into you. She doesn’t know
anything about your investigation, so
when she offers to help you, it’ll be for
her own reasons. Why would I lie? Do not
go back to her. Take out a pen, write
yourself a note, do not trust her.
Leonard takes out his pen, places the picture of Natalie face
down on the dash and writes on the white strip on the back:
“DON’T TRUST HER”
LEONARD
Happy now?
TEDDY
I won’t be happy until you leave town.
LEONARD
Why?
TEDDY
How long do you think you can hang around
here before people start asking
questions?
LEONARD
What sort of questions?
TEDDY
The sort of questions you should be
asking yourself.
LEONARD
Like what?
TEDDY
Like how’d you get this car? That suit?
LEONARD
I have money.
(CONTINUED)
69.
115 CONTINUED: (4) 115
TEDDY
From what?
LEONARD
My wife’s death. I used to work in
Insurance, we were well covered.
TEDDY
So in your grief you wandered into a
Jaguar dealership?
Leonard says nothing. Teddy laughs.
TEDDY (cont’d)
You haven’t got a clue, have you? You
don’t even know who you are?
LEONARD
Yes, I do. I don’t have amnesia. I
remember everything about myself up until
the incident. I’m Leonard Shelby, I’m
from San Fran –
TEDDY
That’s who you were, Lenny. You don’t
know who you are, who you’ve become since
the incident. You’re wandering around,
playing detective... and you don’t even
know how long ago it was.
Teddy reaches out to Leonard’s lapel, and gently opens his
jacket to reveal the label.
TEDDY (cont’d)
Put it this way. Were you wearing
designer suits when you sold insurance? *
Leonard looks down at his suit, then back to Teddy.
LEONARD
I didn’t sell –
TEDDY
I know, you investigated. Maybe you need
to apply some of your investigative
skills to yourself.
LEONARD
Yeah, well, thanks for the advice.
TEDDY
Don’t go back in there. There’s a motel
out of town.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
70.
115 CONTINUED: (5) 115
Teddy hands Leonard the BEER MAT and gets out of the car.
TEDDY (cont’d)
It’s been fun, Lenny.
Teddy walks off. Leonard pulls his Polaroids out of his
pocket and finds the one of Teddy. He places it on the dash,
face up, next to the one of Natalie which is still face down
on the dash. Leonard reads the message he has written on the
back of Natalie’s picture:
“DON’T TRUST HER”
He flips Teddy’s picture over, like a croupier turning a card
at blackjack. On the back it says:
“DON’T BELIEVE HIS LIES”
Leonard purses his lips in surprised frustration. He grabs
his pen and scribbles on the back of Natalie’s picture,
obliterating the words:
“DON’T TRUST HER”
He flips Natalie’s picture over and considers her blurred
image. He looks up at her house, then picks up the BEER MAT,
reading the address Teddy has given him.
LEONARD
Fuck it. I need my own place.
Leonard starts the engine.
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Leonard wakes up alone in a motel room, unaware of how he got there. He receives conflicting information about Natalie, the woman he recently left, from Teddy, a man claiming to be his friend. Teddy warns Leonard against Natalie, but Leonard discovers a note on his picture of Natalie that contradicts Teddy's claims. Leonard is left alone in his car, questioning the truth and his own memories.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Mystery and suspense
  • Character dynamics
  • Revelations and twists
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be confusing for first-time viewers
  • Complex narrative structure

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively builds suspense, introduces new information, and deepens the mystery, keeping the audience engaged and eager to learn more.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of memory loss and the unreliable narrator is executed well, adding layers of complexity to the narrative and creating a sense of intrigue.

Plot: 9

The plot thickens with new revelations and conflicts, driving the story forward and maintaining a high level of tension.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh elements such as memory loss, nonlinear storytelling, and moral ambiguity. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the overall sense of unpredictability.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their motivations are intriguing, adding depth to the story and keeping the audience invested in their fates.

Character Changes: 7

Leonard experiences moments of realization and doubt, hinting at potential character growth and development as he grapples with his identity and memories.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about his past and his current situation. He is grappling with memory loss and trying to piece together his identity and the events that led to his condition.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the dangerous situation he finds himself in, including dealing with drug dealers and potential threats to his safety.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard, Teddy, and Natalie is palpable, creating a sense of unease and driving the narrative forward with high stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing threats from drug dealers, deception from allies, and uncertainty about his own identity. The audience is kept guessing about the outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of deception, manipulation, and potential danger raise the tension and suspense, keeping the audience on edge and invested in the outcome.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward with new revelations, conflicts, and character dynamics, setting the stage for further developments and twists.

Unpredictability: 9

This scene is unpredictable because of its unexpected plot twists, moral ambiguity, and shifting alliances. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around trust and deception. The protagonist must navigate a world where he cannot trust his own memories or the people around him.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and anxiety to curiosity and intrigue, keeping the audience emotionally engaged with the characters and their predicaments.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships, enhancing the overall tension and mystery of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, sharp dialogue, and complex character dynamics. The audience is drawn into the protagonist's journey of self-discovery.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and character development. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness in building tension and suspense.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a mystery thriller genre, with clear scene headings and concise action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure that adds to the mystery and tension. The formatting and pacing are well-executed, keeping the audience engaged.


Critique
  • The transition from the Blonde exiting the bed to Leonard tattooing himself in another location is abrupt and may confuse the audience.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Teddy feels a bit forced and expository, lacking a natural flow.
  • The interaction between Leonard and Teddy could be more dynamic and engaging to keep the audience's interest.
  • The revelation of conflicting messages on the photos of Natalie and Teddy is intriguing but could be executed in a more impactful way.
  • The scene lacks a clear resolution or climax, leaving the audience hanging without a satisfying conclusion.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the Blonde leaving the bed and Leonard tattooing himself to improve the scene's coherence.
  • Work on making the dialogue between Leonard and Teddy more natural and engaging by focusing on character dynamics and subtext.
  • Enhance the tension and conflict between Leonard and Teddy to create a more compelling interaction.
  • Build up the revelation of conflicting messages on the photos of Natalie and Teddy to create a stronger impact on the audience.
  • Consider adding a clearer resolution or climax to provide a more satisfying conclusion to the scene.



Scene 21 -  Anterograde Amnesia
116 EXT. DISCOUNT INN - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 116
Leonard pulls up in his Jaguar, checks the name of the motel
against the note written on the BEER MAT, then heads into the
office to check in.
Leonard comes out of the office, takes a Polaroid of the
front of the motel, and heads for Room 304.
117 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 117
Leonard (boxers, bandaged arm) talks on the phone. He presses *
the NEEDLE/PEN against his thigh, working on a “D”.
LEONARD
I can’t blame the cops for not taking me
seriously. This is a difficult condition
for people to understand. I mean look at
Sammy Jankis. His own wife couldn’t deal
with it.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
71.
117 CONTINUED: 117
LEONARD (cont’d)
(listens)
I told you about how she tried to get
him to snap out of it?
(listens)
It got much worse than that. Eventually
Sammy’s wife came to see me at the
office, and I found out all kinds of
shit.
(listens)
She knew that I was the one who had
built he case for Sammy faking it.
118 INT. LEONARD’S OFFICE – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 118
Leonard, in a CHEAP SUIT AND TIE, gets up from behind his
desk to shake hands with Mrs. Jankis. They talk, Leonard
nodding as he listens. Mrs. Jankis is crying.
LEONARD (V.O.)
She told me about life with Sammy, how
she’d treated him. It had got to the
point where she’d get Sammy to hide food
all around the house, then stop feeding
him to see if his hunger would make him
remember where he’d hidden the stuff.
She wasn’t a cruel person, she just
wanted her old Sammy back.
The tearful Mrs. Jankis gives Leonard a determined look.
MRS. JANKIS
Mr. Shelby, you know all about Sammy and
you decided that he was faking –
LEONARD
Mrs. Jankis, the company’s position
isn’t that Sammy is “faking” anything,
just that his condition can’t be shown –
MRS. JANKIS
I’m not interested in the company
position, Mr. Shelby. I want to know
your honest opinion about Sammy.
LEONARD
We shouldn’t even be talking this way
while the case is still open to appeal.
MRS. JANKIS
I’m not appealing the decision.
LEONARD
Then why are you here?
(CONTINUED)
72.
118 CONTINUED: 118
MRS. JANKIS
Mr. Shelby, try and understand. When I
look into Sammy’s eyes, I don’t see some
vegetable, I see the same old Sammy.
What do you think it’s like for me to
suspect that he’s imagining this whole *
problem? That if I could just say the
right thing he’d snap out of it and be
back to normal? If I knew that my old
Sammy was truly gone, then I could say
goodbye and start loving this new Sammy. *
As long as I have doubt, I can’t say
goodbye and move on.
LEONARD
Mrs. Jankis, what do you want from me?
MRS. JANKIS
I want you to forget the company you
work for for thirty seconds, and tell me
if you really think that Sammy is faking
his condition.
Leonard plays with his letter opener, thinking.
MRS. JANKIS (cont’d)
I need to know what you honestly
believe.
LEONARD
(looks at Mrs. Jankis)
I believe that Sammy should be
physically capable of making new
memories.
MRS. JANKIS
Thank you.
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Leonard checks into the Discount Inn and reminisces about a conversation with Mrs. Jankis, the wife of a former patient with anterograde amnesia. Mrs. Jankis confided in Leonard about her suspicions that her husband was faking his condition. Leonard struggles with his own memory loss and contemplates his next move.
Strengths
  • Complex characters
  • Intriguing plot twists
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension-filled dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some scenes may be confusing for viewers unfamiliar with the nonlinear storytelling style

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension, reveals crucial information about the characters, and sets the stage for further intrigue. The emotional depth and conflicting motivations of the characters add layers to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss, manipulation, and trust is central to the scene, driving the characters' actions and decisions. The exploration of how perception shapes reality adds depth to the storytelling.

Plot: 8

The plot unfolds with a series of revelations, conflicts, and twists that keep the audience engaged. The scene advances the overarching mystery while deepening the emotional stakes for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on memory and identity, exploring the complexities of human relationships and moral dilemmas. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and originality to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are complex, with conflicting motivations and emotional depth. Their interactions reveal layers of vulnerability, determination, and suspicion, adding richness to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant emotional and psychological changes in the scene, grappling with trust, loss, and manipulation. These changes deepen their complexity and set the stage for further development.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal is to grapple with his own doubts and beliefs about memory and identity, as reflected in his conversation with Mrs. Jankis. This reflects his deeper need for clarity and understanding in a world where memory is unreliable.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to navigate the legal case involving Sammy Jankis and his own role in it. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in reconciling his beliefs with his job responsibilities.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, driving the characters' actions and decisions. The tension between trust and suspicion, memory and reality, adds layers of complexity to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Mrs. Jankis challenging Leonard's beliefs and forcing him to confront his own doubts. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding to the tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, with characters facing personal loss, manipulation, and uncertainty. The decisions they make have far-reaching consequences, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information, deepening character dynamics, and setting up new conflicts and mysteries. It advances the overarching narrative while maintaining suspense and intrigue.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between Leonard and Mrs. Jankis, as well as the moral ambiguity of their conversation. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflict will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of memory and identity. Mrs. Jankis challenges Leonard's beliefs about Sammy's condition, forcing him to confront his own doubts and uncertainties.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from vulnerability and grief to determination and suspicion. The characters' struggles with loss and uncertainty resonate with the audience, creating a strong emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, revealing character dynamics, emotional turmoil, and thematic depth. It effectively conveys the tension and uncertainty that permeate the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, moral complexity, and character-driven conflict. The dialogue and interactions draw the audience in, creating a sense of tension and intrigue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense through the dialogue and character interactions. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the conflict.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions. The use of visual cues enhances the atmosphere and tone of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and a focus on character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene transitions from Leonard checking into the Discount Inn to a flashback of Leonard talking on the phone in his motel room, working on a tattoo on his thigh, and reflecting on Sammy Jankis. This transition feels abrupt and disjointed, making it confusing for the audience to follow.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Mrs. Jankis in the flashback is heavy on exposition and lacks subtlety. The conversation feels forced and unnatural, taking away from the authenticity of the characters' emotions and motivations.
  • The flashback scene with Mrs. Jankis provides important background information about Sammy Jankis and Leonard's involvement in his case. However, the execution of the flashback feels clunky and disrupts the flow of the present-day narrative.
  • The tone of the scene shifts abruptly from Leonard's present-day activities to the flashback with Mrs. Jankis, creating a jarring contrast that may confuse the audience. The transition between the two timelines could be smoother to maintain coherence.
  • The scene lacks visual cues or transitions to clearly differentiate between the present-day events and the flashback, making it challenging for the audience to distinguish between the two timelines.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to integrate the flashback with Mrs. Jankis more seamlessly into the present-day narrative. This could involve using visual cues or transitions to indicate the shift in time.
  • Focus on creating more natural and nuanced dialogue between Leonard and Mrs. Jankis to convey their emotions and conflicts effectively. Avoid heavy-handed exposition and aim for subtlety in revealing character motivations.
  • Ensure that the tone remains consistent throughout the scene by balancing the present-day storyline with the flashback elements. Smooth out the transitions between timelines to maintain a cohesive narrative flow.
  • Provide visual cues or cues in the dialogue to clearly signal to the audience when the scene transitions between present-day events and flashbacks. This will help viewers follow the story more easily and stay engaged.
  • Consider incorporating elements of Leonard's internal thoughts or emotions during the flashback to add depth to the scene and enhance the audience's understanding of his character development.



Scene 22 -  Leonard and Natalie's Confrontation
119 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 119
LEONARD
She seemed to leave happy. I thought I’d
helped her.
Leonard puts the NEEDLE/PEN down, and wipes blood from his new,
homemade TATTOO, which says:
“FACT 5. DRUG DEALER”
LEONARD (cont’d)
I thought she just needed some kind of
answer.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
73.
119 CONTINUED: 119
LEONARD (cont’d)
I didn’t think it was important to her
what the answer was, just that she had
one to believe.
Leonard notices the BANDAGE on his LEFT ARM. He starts *
fiddling with the TAPE, peeling back the corners.
CUT TO:
120 INT. NATALIE’S LIVING ROOM - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 120
Leonard sifts through the papers on the desk, agitated. He *
hears a car door SLAM. He looks out of the window to see *
Natalie getting out of her car.
She turns and comes towards the front door. Her face is SWOLLEN
and BLEEDING.
Leonard OPENS the door for her. She RUSHES past him. *
LEONARD
What happened?
Natalie, intensely AGITATED, FUMBLES with things in her purse.
NATALIE
What does it look like?!
She turns to Leonard so that he can see the full extent of
her injuries. Her eye is SWELLING UP, and her lip is SPLIT.
NATALIE (cont’d)
He beat the shit out of me.
LEONARD
Who?
NATALIE
Who?! Fuck, Leonard! Dodd! Dodd beat the
shit out of me.
Natalie FLINGS her purse to the ground in frustration. She
does not know what to do with her hands.
LEONARD
Why?
Natalie turns to him, ENRAGED.
NATALIE
Because of you, you fucking idiot!
Because I did what you told me!
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
74.
120 CONTINUED: 120
NATALIE (cont’d)
Go to him, reason with him, tell him
about Teddy! Great fucking ideal
Leonard APPROACHES her, palms out.
LEONARD
Calm down.
Natalie starts to HIT Leonard. He takes her arms.
LEONARD (cont’d)
(softly)
Take it easy. You’re safe now. You’re
safe.
He sits her down on the couch.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Let’s get some ice on your face.
LATER:
Natalie, crying softly, holds a paper towel filled with ice
cubes to her swollen cheek while Leonard gently uses a damp
paper towel to wipe the blood from her upper lip.
NATALIE
I did exactly what you told me. I went to *
Dodd and I said that I didn’t have *
Jimmy’s money, or any drugs, that this
Teddy must have taken everything.
LEONARD
And what did he say?
NATALIE
He didn’t believe me. He said that if I
don’t get him the money tomorrow he’s
gonna kill me. Then he started hitting
me.
LEONARD
Where is he?
NATALIE
What are you gonna do?
LEONARD
I’ll go see him.
NATALIE
And?
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
75.
120 CONTINUED: (2) 120
LEONARD
Give him some bruises of his own and tell
him to look for a guy called Teddy.
NATALIE
He’ll kill you, Lenny.
LEONARD
(smiling)
My wife used to call me Lenny.
NATALIE
Yeah?
LEONARD
Yeah, I hated it.
NATALIE
This guy’s dangerous, let’s think of
something else.
Leonard takes out a piece of paper but he cannot find his
pen.
LEONARD
I’ll take care of it. Just tell me what
he looks like, and where I can find him.
Do you have a pen?
Natalie gets a pen out of her purse and hands it to him.
NATALIE
He’ll probably find you.
LEONARD
Me? Why would he be interested in me?
NATALIE
I told him about your car.
LEONARD
Why would you do that?
NATALIE
He was beating the crap out of me! I had
to tell him something!
Leonard hands Natalie the piece of paper and pen.
LEONARD
Just write it all down. What he looks *
like, where I find him. *
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
75A.
120 CONTINUED: (3) 120
Natalie hands him a note. It says:
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
76.
120 CONTINUED: (4) 120
“DODD MOUNTCREST INN ON 5TH ST., ROOM 6” *
“PUT HIM ON TO TEDDY OR JUST GET RID OF HIM FOR NATALIE”
Outside, a CAR ALARM starts to sound. Leonard gets up and
heads to the door, flipping through his Polaroids.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary After getting a new tattoo, Leonard discovers a bandage on his arm and finds Natalie injured from being beaten by Dodd. Natalie blames Leonard, who decides to confront Dodd to resolve the situation.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Plot advancement
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel repetitive or expository

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension, reveals crucial information, and sets up further conflict, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss, manipulation, and the search for truth is intriguing and well-executed, adding depth to the narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly, introducing new challenges and escalating the conflict between the characters, driving the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on the crime genre, with complex characters and moral dilemmas. The dialogue feels authentic and the actions of the characters are unpredictable.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' emotions and motivations are well-developed, adding layers to their interactions and decisions, making them compelling and relatable.

Character Changes: 7

Several characters experience significant changes in their beliefs, actions, and relationships, leading to character development and growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to help Natalie and resolve the situation with Dodd. This reflects his need to feel in control and protect those around him.

External Goal: 9

Leonard's external goal is to confront Dodd and either put him in touch with Teddy or get rid of him for Natalie. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in dealing with the aftermath of Natalie's abuse.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters is intense and multi-layered, driving the emotional and narrative tension to a high level.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing difficult choices and conflicting motivations. The audience is left uncertain of how the characters will overcome their challenges.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes involved in the characters' actions, decisions, and relationships heighten the tension and suspense, keeping the audience on edge.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new revelations, escalating conflicts, and setting up future events, maintaining the audience's interest.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting motivations and the unexpected twists in the plot. The audience is left unsure of how the situation will resolve.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the characters' sense of morality and the harsh realities of their world. Natalie is forced to make difficult choices to survive, while Leonard grapples with his own sense of justice and revenge.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly through the characters' struggles, pain, and vulnerabilities.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, conflicts, and intentions, enhancing the tension and drama of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotions and high stakes involved. The conflict between the characters keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action and dialogue that keeps the audience engaged. The rhythm of the scene builds tension and suspense effectively.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is formatted correctly and adds to the overall tone of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The transition from Leonard tending to his new tattoo to Natalie arriving at her home with injuries from Dodd feels abrupt and disjointed. The shift from a personal moment of reflection to a high-stakes, emotional confrontation could be smoother.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Natalie, while intense and emotional, could benefit from more subtlety and nuance. The interactions feel a bit on-the-nose and could be more layered to add depth to their relationship and the tension between them.
  • The scene lacks a clear resolution or sense of closure. While it sets up a conflict with Dodd and Natalie, it doesn't fully explore the consequences or provide a satisfying conclusion to their interaction.
  • The visual descriptions could be enhanced to create a more vivid and immersive atmosphere. Adding more sensory details and imagery could help bring the scene to life and engage the reader or viewer more effectively.
  • There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into Leonard's internal struggles and emotional turmoil. Exploring his conflicting feelings about his past actions and the impact they have on those around him could add complexity to his character.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the pacing and structure of the scene to create a more seamless transition between Leonard's introspective moment and the intense confrontation with Natalie.
  • Work on developing the dialogue to be more nuanced and realistic, allowing for subtext and emotional depth to shine through in the interactions between Leonard and Natalie.
  • Provide a clearer resolution or cliffhanger at the end of the scene to keep the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to paint a more vivid picture of the setting and characters, immersing the audience in the scene.
  • Explore Leonard's internal conflict and emotional journey more deeply to add layers to his character and make his actions and decisions more impactful.



Scene 23 -  Money, Murder, and Mayhem
121 EXT. NATALIE’S HOUSE - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 121
The Jaguar’s CAR ALARM is sounding.
Leonard exits Natalie’s house, walks to his Jaguar and gets
in, silencing the alarm.
TEDDY (O.S.)
You should lock a car as nice as this.
Leonard, startled, GRABS Teddy by the throat.
CUT TO:
122 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 122
Leonard, in boxers, bandage on arm, sits on the edge of *
the bed talking on the phone.
LEONARD
No, she shouldn‘t have given me that
responsibility. Shit, I’m not a doctor,
I’m a claims investigator.
Leonard crooks his neck to hold the receiver between ear and
shoulder and FIDDLES with the BANDAGE ON HIS LEFT ARM, *
starting to peel back the tape, t.zying to look under the
cotton pad.
LEONARD (cont’d)
I suppose, but I’ve got all sorts of
other considerations.
Leonard starts to REMOVE THE BANDAGE.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Legal responsibility, and large
financial...
LEONARD REMOVES THE BANDAGE FROM HIS LEFT ARM, REVEALING A *
CRUDE TATTOO WHICH SAYS:
“NEVER ANSWER THE PHONE”
Leonard looks up.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
77.
122 CONTINUED: 122
LEONARD (cont’d)
Who is this?
He takes the receiver away from his ear as if the caller has
just hung up.
CUT TO:
123 INT. NATALIE’S LIVING ROOM – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 123
Leonard is sitting on the coffee table, relaxed, looking at
his Polaroids. Natalie (WITHOUT BRUISES) BURSTS in through
the front door, scared.
LEONARD
What’s wrong?
NATALIE
Somebody’s come. Already.
LEONARD
Who?
NATALIE
Calls himself Dodd.
LEONARD
What does he want?
NATALIE
Wants to know what happened to Jimmy. And
his money. He thinks I have it. He thinks
I took it.
LEONARD
Did you?
NATALIE
No!
LEONARD
What’s this all about?
Natalie looks at him bitterly.
NATALIE
You don’t know, do you? You’re blissfully
ignorant, aren’t you?
LEONARD
I have this condition –
(CONTINUED)
78.
123 CONTINUED: 123
NATALIE
I know about your fucking condition,
Leonard! I probably know more about it
than you do! You don’t have a fucking
clue about anything else!
LEONARD
What happened?
NATALIE
What happened is that Jimmy went to meet
a guy called Teddy. He took a lot of
money with him and he didn’t come back.
Jimmy’s partners think I set him up. I
don’t know whether you know this Teddy or
how well –
Leonard is getting frustrated.
LEONARD
Neither do I.
NATALIE
Don’t protect him.
LEONARD
I’m not.
NATALIE
Help me.
LEONARD
How?
NATALIE
Get rid of Dodd for me.
LEONARD
What?
NATALIE
Kill him. I’ll pay you.
LEONARD
What do you think I am?! I’m not gonna
kill someone for money.
NATALIE
What then? Love? What would you kill for?
For your wife, right?
LEONARD
That’s different.
(CONTINUED)
79.
123 CONTINUED: (2) 123
NATALIE
Not to me! I wasn’t fucking married to
her!
LEONARD
Don’t talk about my wife.
NATALIE
I can talk about whoever the fuck I want!
You won’t even remember what I say! I can
tell you that your wife was a fucking
whore and we can still be friends!
Leonard stands up.
LEONARD
Calm down.
NATALIE
That’s easy for you to say! You can’t get
scared, you don’t remember how, you
fucking idiot!
LEONARD
Just take it easy, this isn’t my fault.
NATALIE
Maybe it is! How the fuck would you
know?! You don’t know a fucking thing!
You can’t get scared, can you get angry?!
Leonard steps towards her.
LEONARD
Yes.
NATALIE
You pathetic piece of shit. I can say
whatever the fuck I want and you won’t
have a clue, you fucking retard.
LEONARD
Shut the fuck up!
Natalie gets right in his face, grinning.
NATALIE
I’m gonna use you, you stupid fuck. I’m
telling you now because I’ll enjoy it
more if I know that you could stop me if
you weren’t a freak.
(CONTINUED)
80.
123 CONTINUED: (3) 123
Leonard grabs his Polaroids and finds one of Natalie. He
reaches into his pocket for a pen, but cannot find one.
NATALIE (cont’d)
Lost your pen? That’s too bad, freak.
Otherwise you could’ve written yourself
a little note about how much Natalie
hates your retarded guts.
Leonard moves around the room searching for a pen. Natalie
follows him, speaking into his ear.
NATALIE (cont’d)
No pens here, I’m afraid. You’re never
going to know that I called you a retard,
and your wife a whore.
Leonard turns to face her, barely controlling his anger.
LEONARD
Don’t say another fucking word!
NATALIE
About your whore of a wife?
Leonard slaps Natalie. She smiles, then speaks softly.
NATALIE (cont’d)
I read about your problem. You know what
one of the causes of short term memory
loss is?
Leonard fumes.
NATALIE (cont’d)
Venereal disease. Maybe your cunt of a
wife sucked one too many diseased cocks
and turned you into a retard.
Leonard turns away, body tensed, ready to snap. Natalie
reaches out to gently brush the hair above his ear with her
fingers.
NATALIE (cont’d)
You sad freak, you won’t remember any of
what I’ve said, and we’ll be best
friends, or even lovers.
Leonard spins around, BACKHANDING Natalie on the cheek.
He PUNCHES her in the mouth then pushes her to the floor. He
stands over her, furious with himself as much as her.
(CONTINUED)
81.
123 CONTINUED: (4) 123
Natalie gets to her feet, and goes to the door. She turns to
Leonard. Her face is bloody but she smiles.
NATALIE (cont’d)
See you soon.
Natalie exits. Leonard watches her walk out to her car and
get in. She just sits there.
Leonard turns from the window and looks around the room. He
grabs at drawers, searching for a pen. He looks back out the *
window. Natalie is still sitting in her car. Leonard is *
sifting through the papers on the desk when he hears a car *
door SLAM. He looks out of the window to see Natalie getting *
out of her car. She turns to walk toward the house. Her face
is swollen and bloody.
Leonard opens the door for her.
LEONARD
What happened?
Natalie, intensely AGITATED, FUMBLES with things in her
purse.
NATALIE
What does it look like?
Genres: ["Thriller","Drama"]

Summary In a tense confrontation outside Natalie's house, Leonard is startled by Teddy. After discovering a mysterious tattoo in a motel room, Leonard has an explosive conversation with Natalie about missing money and a man named Dodd. As accusations fly, Natalie bursts into her house, pleading with Leonard to kill Dodd. The scene climaxes in a physical altercation and ends with Natalie leaving in distress, leaving Leonard alone with a sense of unease.
Strengths
  • Intense emotions
  • Sharp dialogue
  • High stakes
  • Tension
  • Suspense
Weaknesses
  • Violent confrontation
  • Emotional manipulation

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with intense emotions, sharp dialogue, and high stakes driving the conflict forward. The confrontation between Natalie and Leonard is gripping and reveals important character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of betrayal, manipulation, and confrontation is central to the scene. It explores themes of trust, memory, and identity in a tense and suspenseful way.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly in this scene, with the introduction of new conflicts, motivations, and revelations. The tension between Natalie and Leonard escalates, setting the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on themes of memory loss, identity, and betrayal. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the overall sense of mystery and intrigue.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Natalie and Leonard are well-developed in this scene, with their complex emotions, motivations, and conflicts driving the narrative forward. Their interactions reveal layers of depth and complexity.

Character Changes: 8

Both Natalie and Leonard undergo significant emotional changes in this scene, as their confrontation reveals hidden truths, motivations, and vulnerabilities. Their dynamic evolves, setting the stage for future developments.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand the truth behind his condition and his past actions. He is seeking clarity and control over his memories and emotions.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the dangerous situation he finds himself in, involving criminal elements and potential violence. He must make decisions that will impact his safety and relationships.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Natalie and Leonard is intense and multi-layered, with high stakes and deep-seated emotions driving the confrontation. The tension and suspense are palpable throughout the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals, moral dilemmas, and power struggles between the characters. The audience is kept guessing about the outcomes of the characters' choices.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with betrayal, manipulation, and confrontation driving the conflict forward. The characters' lives and relationships are at risk, adding tension and suspense to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, introducing new conflicts, motivations, and revelations that drive the narrative towards its climax. The tension and suspense are heightened, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 9

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' volatile emotions, unexpected revelations, and shifting power dynamics. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflicts will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's struggle with his identity and morality. He is faced with choices that challenge his beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, with intense emotions, sharp dialogue, and deep-seated conflicts driving the narrative forward. The characters' emotions are raw and palpable, adding depth and complexity to the scene.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in this scene is sharp, confrontational, and emotionally charged. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and conflicts, adding depth and tension to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflicts, moral dilemmas, and unpredictable twists. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments, emotional beats, and character interactions. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting effectively conveys the shifts in time and perspective, adding to the complexity and depth of the narrative. The use of color sequences and black-and-white sequences enhances the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure that adds to the sense of disorientation and suspense. The pacing and formatting enhance the tension and emotional impact of the interactions.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a sudden confrontation between Leonard and Teddy, which feels abrupt and lacks buildup. The transition from Natalie's house to the motel room is jarring and could be smoother.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Natalie is intense and emotional, but it feels a bit forced and melodramatic at times. The insults and accusations exchanged between them may come off as too harsh and unrealistic.
  • The physical violence between Leonard and Natalie, including slapping and punching, may be too extreme and could be triggering for some viewers. It's important to handle scenes of violence with sensitivity and consideration.
  • The scene lacks subtlety in portraying Leonard's memory loss and Natalie's manipulative behavior. The dialogue explicitly references Leonard's condition and Natalie's intentions, which could be conveyed more subtly through actions and subtext.
  • The scene ends with Natalie's cryptic statement 'See you soon,' which feels cliched and predictable. It would be more effective to leave the audience with a sense of uncertainty and tension without resorting to a typical threat.
Suggestions
  • Consider building up the tension between Leonard and Teddy gradually to create a more impactful confrontation. Add subtle hints or foreshadowing to hint at Teddy's arrival before the sudden appearance.
  • Tone down the melodrama in the dialogue between Leonard and Natalie to make their interaction more realistic and nuanced. Focus on conveying their emotions through actions and subtext rather than explicit statements.
  • Reconsider the use of physical violence in the scene and explore alternative ways to depict the conflict between Leonard and Natalie. Find ways to convey their emotional turmoil without resorting to overt aggression.
  • Explore more subtle ways to portray Leonard's memory loss and Natalie's manipulative behavior. Show rather than tell to create a more engaging and layered dynamic between the characters.
  • Revise the ending of the scene to create a sense of suspense and intrigue without relying on a cliched threat. Leave the audience with a sense of unease and anticipation for what will happen next.



Scene 24 -  An Unbelievable Search
124 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY <<BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE>> 124
Leonard lies on the bed, in jeans, topless. He reaches for the
ringing phone with his left arm. As his hand reaches the
receiver Leonard reads the tattoo on his arm which says: *
“NEVER ANSWER THE PHONE”
Leonard strokes the tattoo as he lets the phone ring. It
stops. Leonard goes to the door, opens it and checks the
number of the room: 21. He goes back to the phone, makes a
call.
LEONARD
Front desk? Burt, right. Well, this is
Mr. Shelby in Room 21. I don’t want any *
calls, none at all, got it? Thanks. *
CUT TO:
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82.
125 EXT. NATALIE’S HOUSE - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 125
Leonard’s Jaguar pulls up. Leonard and Natalie (WITHOUT
BRUISES) get out. Leonard is carrying his sports bag. *
126 INT. NATALIE’S LIVING ROOM - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 126
Natalie leads Leonard in, self—conscious about her messy
living room.
NATALIE
You can just crash out on the couch.
You’ll be comfortable.
Leonard nods and stands awkwardly.
NATALIE (cont’d)
Uh, take a seat.
Leonard smiles and sits down in a chair. Natalie clears
things off the coffee table. Leonard unzips his bag and looks *
through his things, pulling out his file. *
NATALIE (cont’d)
So how long you think it’s gonna take
you?
Leonard raises his eyebrows.
NATALIE (cont’d)
You told me you were looking for the guy
who killed your wife.
LEONARD
(consulting file) *
Depends on if he’s here in town. Or if
he’s moved on. See, I’ve got all this - *
NATALIE
Can I ask you something?
Leonard nods.
NATALIE (cont’d)
If you’ve got all this information, how
come the police haven’t found him for
you?
LEONARD
They’re not looking for him.
NATALIE
Why not?
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
83.
126 CONTINUED: 126
Leonard runs his finger down the list of conclusions on the *
back of his file.
LEONARD
They don’t think he exists.
Natalie looks confused.
LEONARD (cont’d)
I told them what I remembered. I was
asleep, something woke me up...
CUT TO FLASHBACK <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Leonard, a man haunted by fragmented memories, visits Natalie's house with the hope of finding the killer who took his wife's life. Despite the police's disbelief in his claims, Leonard remains determined to uncover the truth. Natalie, intrigued but concerned, questions Leonard's methods and the lack of evidence. As Leonard delves into his file, the air thickens with suspense and uncertainty, leaving the fate of his quest hanging in the balance.
Strengths
  • Building suspense
  • Intriguing character dynamics
  • Mysterious elements
Weaknesses
  • Some ambiguity in certain plot points
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds suspense and intrigue through the mysterious elements introduced, such as Leonard's tattoo and his cryptic conversations with Natalie. The flashback adds depth to Leonard's character and the overall plot.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a man with short-term memory loss searching for his wife's killer is compelling and keeps the audience engaged. The introduction of the tattooed reminder adds an interesting twist to the narrative.

Plot: 7

The plot thickens as Leonard delves deeper into his investigation, facing obstacles and encountering new characters like Natalie. The scene sets up further developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique storytelling device with the black and white sequences, adding depth to the narrative. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, particularly Leonard and Natalie, are well-developed and their interactions reveal layers of complexity. Leonard's determination and Natalie's curiosity add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions between Leonard and Natalie hint at potential growth and development for both characters in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about his wife's murder and his own memory loss. This reflects his deeper need for closure and understanding of his past.

External Goal: 7.5

Leonard's external goal is to find the man who killed his wife. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing and the driving force behind his actions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both internal (Leonard's struggle with his memory loss) and external (the tension between Leonard and Natalie). This conflict drives the story forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs and motivations driving the character dynamics.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for Leonard as he continues his search for his wife's killer, facing obstacles and uncertainties along the way.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new clues, conflicts, and relationships that will impact the narrative progression.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting timelines, unreliable narrator, and mysterious plot developments.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of memory and truth. Leonard's belief in his own memories clashes with the police's skepticism, challenging his worldview and sense of reality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes emotions of suspense, curiosity, and tension, keeping the audience emotionally engaged with the characters and their predicaments.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is engaging and serves to move the plot forward while also providing insight into the characters' motivations and conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its suspenseful atmosphere, cryptic dialogue, and intriguing character dynamics.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, building tension and suspense through the dialogue and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for its genre.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a mystery thriller, with a clear setup of the protagonist's goals and challenges.


Critique
  • The transition from a black and white sequence to a color sequence may be confusing for the audience and disrupt the flow of the scene.
  • The tattoo on Leonard's arm that says 'NEVER ANSWER THE PHONE' is a bit on the nose and could be more subtly integrated into the story.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Natalie feels a bit forced and could be more natural and engaging.
  • The scene lacks visual descriptions and details that could enhance the atmosphere and setting.
  • The flashback sequence could be better integrated into the present-day scenes to provide more context and clarity.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the transition between the black and white sequence and the color sequence to make it smoother and more seamless.
  • Try to incorporate the tattoo on Leonard's arm in a more subtle and intriguing way that adds depth to his character.
  • Work on the dialogue between Leonard and Natalie to make it more authentic and engaging, focusing on their dynamic and relationship.
  • Add more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and setting of the scene, creating a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Find a more organic way to integrate the flashback sequence into the present-day scenes to provide context and enhance the storytelling.



Scene 25 -  A Night of Violence and Suspicion
127 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT BEDROOM - NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 127
Leonard opens his eyes. He slides his hand over to the empty
space on the bed beside him, feeling the sheet.
LEONARD (V.0.)
Her side of the bed was cold. She’d been *
out of bed for a while.
Leonard sits up in bed, listening.
128 INT. LEONARD’S HALLWAY WITH WOODEN FLOORS AND HIGH CEILINGS 128
NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
We move down the hail towards a closed door. Shadows and *
light play across the floorboards from the gap under the *
door. An ominous rumbling builds. *
A128 INSERT QUICK CUTS: A128
Extreme close ups:
A glass bottle smashes against ceramic tiles. A mirror
smashes. Flesh hits tiled floor.
129 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT BEDROOM - NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 129
Leonard takes a gun down from the top of the bedroom closet,
then quietly makes his way into the corridor.
A129 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT BATHROOM - NIGHT <<COLOUR A129*
SEQUENCE>>
He KICKS the door open, revealing two figures struggling on
the floor of a BATHROOM.
Close up of a WOMAN’S FACE, wrapped in the wet clear plastic
shower curtain, STRUGGLING to breathe.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
83A.
A129 CONTINUED: A129
Close up of a BASEBALL CAP-COVERED HEAD turning to reveal a
face covered by a DIRTY WHITE COTTON MASK.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
84.
A129 CONTINUED: (2) A129
Close up of a GLOVED HAND drawing a PISTOL from the back of a
waistband.
A SHOT rings out and the white cotton mask is BLOWN into RED,
the Masked Man falling of f the struggling woman. Leonard
stands in the doorway, smoking gun in hand. He is HIT HARD
from behind by an UNSEEN ASSAILANT who GRABS Leonard by the
HAIR and THROWS his HEAD into the MIRROR, SHATTERING IT.
Leonard DROPS to the floor.
An extreme close up of a woman’s staring eyes, seen through
water-beaded, blood-spattered clear plastic.
The EYES BLINK and we WHITE OUT.
FADE DOWN FROM WHITE TO:
130 INT. NATALIE’S LIVING ROOM - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 130
LEONARD (cont’d)
There had to be a second man. I was
struck from behind, I remember. It’s
about the last thing I do remember. But *
the police didn’t believe me.
NATALIE
How did they explain what you remembered?
The gun and stuff?
LEONARD
(points at conclusions on back *
of file) *
John G. was clever. He took the dead
man’s gun and replaced it with the sap
that he’d hit me with. He left my gun and
left the getaway car. He gave the police
a complete package. They found a sap with
my blood on it in the dead man’s hand,
and they only found my gun. They didn’t
need to look for anyone else. I was the
only guy who disagreed with the facts,
and I had brain damage. *
Natalie watches him. *
NATALIE
You can stay here for a couple of days if
it’ll help.
LEONARD
Thank you.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
85.
130 CONTINUED: 130
NATALIE
I’ve got to get back for the evening
shift, so make yourself at home, watch
T.V., whatever. Just grab a blanket and
pillow off the bed. I never need them all
anyway.
Leonard nods. Natalie heads for the door.
LEONARD
Oh, one thing.
Natalie TURNS. Leonard snaps her picture with his Polaroid
camera. He lowers the camera and smiles.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Something to remember you by.
Natalie smiles unconvincingly, perturbed, and exits. Leonard
sits down on the couch and writes “Natalie” on the white
strip under her photo as it develops into the blurred image
of Natalie which we have seen before. He takes out his other
Polaroids, flipping through them.
LATER:
Leonard watches commercials on TV. He notices the tattoo on
his hand (“REMEMBER SAMMY JANKIS”), then switches the TV off.
He starts to examine his Polaroids.
Natalie BURSTS through the door, worried.
LEONARD (cont’d)
What’s wrong?
NATALIE
Somebody’s come. Already.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Leonard's morning takes a sinister turn as he discovers his missing wife, a masked attacker in his bathroom, and a concealed threat lurking behind him. Amidst confusion and disbelief from the police, Leonard seeks refuge with Natalie, recounting his ordeal and capturing a memory of their encounter.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled atmosphere
  • Intriguing plot twists
  • Complex characters
Weaknesses
  • Dialogue could be more nuanced
  • Some elements may be confusing for the audience

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is gripping, intense, and keeps the audience on the edge of their seats with its suspenseful and dark tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss, deception, and hidden truths is effectively portrayed through the unfolding events and interactions in the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot is intricate, engaging, and full of twists and turns that drive the narrative forward and keep the audience intrigued.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its unconventional narrative structure, visual storytelling techniques, and thematic complexity. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are complex, with hidden motivations and conflicting agendas, adding depth and intrigue to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Several characters undergo subtle changes in their motivations and perceptions, adding complexity to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth behind the events that have transpired, despite his memory loss and the conflicting information he receives. This reflects his deeper need for clarity and justice.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to navigate the immediate threat and danger he faces in his apartment, as shown by his actions with the gun and the confrontation with the assailant. This reflects the challenges he must overcome to survive.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, creating a sense of urgency and danger.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Leonard facing physical threats, conflicting information, and internal struggles. The audience is kept in suspense, unsure of how Leonard will overcome the obstacles in his path.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of deception, danger, and betrayal raise the tension and suspense, making the scene compelling and impactful.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward with new revelations, conflicts, and developments that keep the audience invested in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its unexpected twists, sudden revelations, and shifting perspectives. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of memory, perception, and truth. Leonard's struggle to piece together his fragmented memories and discern reality from deception challenges his beliefs and understanding of his own identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from suspense and fear to empathy and intrigue, keeping the audience emotionally engaged.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp, revealing character dynamics and building tension, but could benefit from more depth and complexity.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense visuals, suspenseful atmosphere, and thematic depth. The audience is drawn into Leonard's mysterious world, eager to uncover the truth behind his fragmented memories.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension, maintaining suspense, and guiding the audience through the unfolding events. The rhythm of the scene enhances its emotional impact and narrative flow.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, utilizing visual cues and descriptive language to create a vivid and immersive setting. The use of color sequences and quick cuts adds visual interest and depth to the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and suspense through its pacing and visual cues. The use of quick cuts and intense close-ups enhances the narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong visual of Leonard waking up in his apartment and realizing his wife is missing, setting a tense and suspenseful tone.
  • The use of quick cuts in the insert shots adds to the intensity and urgency of the scene, creating a sense of impending danger.
  • The confrontation in the bathroom is well-executed, with the imagery of the struggle between the woman and the Masked Man adding to the suspense.
  • The sudden appearance of the Masked Man and the subsequent gunshot create a shocking and dramatic moment, keeping the audience engaged.
  • The scene transitions smoothly to Natalie's living room, maintaining the tension and mystery surrounding Leonard's memory loss and the events unfolding.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Natalie provides important information about the ongoing conflicts and Leonard's struggle to find the truth amidst his memory loss.
  • The use of Polaroid photos as a visual motif adds depth to Leonard's character and his quest for answers, creating a sense of intrigue and mystery.
  • The scene effectively builds towards a climax with Natalie's offer for Leonard to stay and the revelation of the Polaroid photo, leaving the audience curious about what will happen next.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue from Leonard to provide insight into his thoughts and emotions during the intense moments of the scene.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by incorporating more symbolic imagery or motifs that reflect Leonard's internal struggles and the external conflicts he faces.
  • Explore the use of lighting and sound effects to heighten the suspense and create a more immersive atmosphere in the scene.
  • Focus on developing the relationship dynamics between Leonard and Natalie to add depth to their interactions and increase the emotional impact of their conversations.
  • Consider incorporating subtle clues or hints that foreshadow future events or reveal more about Leonard's past, adding layers of complexity to the narrative.
  • Work on pacing the scene effectively to maintain the tension and keep the audience engaged throughout the sequence of events.



Scene 26 -  Mysterious Messages
131 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 – DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 131 *
There is a KNOCK at the door. Leonard PULLS ON HIS LONG-
SLEEVED PLAID WORK SHIRT, goes to the door and opens it. Burt
is standing there.
BURT
Leonard, it’s Burt from the front desk.
LEONARD
Yeah?
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
86.
131 CONTINUED: 131
BURT
I know you said you didn’t want any
calls...
LEONARD
That’s right I did, didn’t I?
BURT
Yeah, but there’s a call for you from
this guy. He’s a cop.
LEONARD
A cop?
BURT
And he says you’re gonna wanna hear what
he’s got to say. *
LEONARD
(shakes head) *
I’m not too good on the phone. I need to *
look people in the eye when I talk to *
them. *
Burt shrugs, then walks off. *
CUT TO:
132 INT. FERDY’S BAR - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 132
Leonard sits at a booth looking through his Polaroids. A
DRUNK with shaky hands sits at the bar. Natalie (without
bruises) is working behind the bar. She tops up a silver
tankard with beer, brings it over and sets it in front of
Leonard, smiling.
NATALIE
On the house.
LEONARD
Thanks.
Natalie watches in fascination as Leonard drinks from the
mug. The Drunk is giggling.
NATALIE
(fascinated)
You really do have a problem. Just like
that cop said.
Leonard looks at Natalie, confused.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
86A.
132 CONTINUED: 132
NATALIE (cont’d)
Your condition, I mean.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
87.
132 CONTINUED: (2) 132
LEONARD
(shrugs)
Nobody’s perfect.
Natalie leans in close, studying Leonard, looking him over.
NATALIE
What’s the last thing you remember?
Leonard looks at her.
CUT TO FLASHBACK:
133 INT. LEONARD’S BATHROOM - NIGHT <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 133
An extreme close up, from floor level, of a woman’s staring
eyes seen through water—beaded, blood—spattered clear
plastic.
The EYES BLINK.
134 INT. FERDY’S BAR - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 134
BACK TO LEONARD IN BAR:
Leonard looks at Natalie.
LEONARD
My wife.
NATALIE
Sweet.
LEONARD
Dying.
NATALIE
What?
LEONARD
I remember my wife dying.
Natalie picks up the silver tankard from the table.
NATALIE
Let me get you a fresh glass. I think
this one was dusty.
135 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 135
Leonard, in boxers and long—sleeved plaid work shirt, lies on *
the bed, trying to ignore the RINGING PHONE. he rubs his *
tattoo: “NEVER ANSWER THE PHONE”. The phone goes quiet. *
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
87A.
135 CONTINUED: 135
Leonard hears a noise, and turns to see an ENVELOPE sliding *
underneath the door. He gets off the bed and picks it up. It *
is addressed: “LEONARD”. He opens it and removes a POLAROID. *
The photo of himself, bare-chested, tattooed and grinning *
maniacally, pointing to the bare area of skin above his *
heart. Leonard stares at it, disturbed. Underneath the photo *
is written: *
“TAKE MY CALL” *
The phone RINGS. *
CUT TO:
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
88.
136 OMIT 136*
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Leonard receives a message from the front desk about a call from a cop, but declines due to his aversion to phone conversations. At Ferdy's Bar, the bartender observes his behavior and mentions a cop's comment about his condition. Leonard experiences a flashback of his wife's death after receiving a new drink. Back at his motel room, Leonard receives a Polaroid with a cryptic message, directing him to 'take the call.' The phone then rings, leaving Leonard in a state of uncertainty.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Mysterious elements
  • Strong character interactions
  • Intriguing backstory
Weaknesses
  • Some scenes may be confusing for viewers unfamiliar with the nonlinear narrative style

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and intrigue through the use of mysterious elements, strong character interactions, and a compelling backstory. The dialogue is engaging, and the introduction of the tattoo message adds a unique twist to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss, mystery, and deception is well-executed in the scene. The use of Polaroids, flashbacks, and cryptic messages enhances the storytelling and keeps the audience engaged.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through Leonard's interactions with Natalie, the phone call from the cop, and the disturbing Polaroid. The scene sets up intriguing questions about Leonard's past and the mysterious circumstances surrounding his wife's death.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the unreliable narrator trope, blending elements of mystery, psychological thriller, and noir aesthetics to create a compelling narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, particularly Leonard and Natalie, are well-developed and engaging. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and hint at deeper motivations and secrets.

Character Changes: 7

Leonard experiences moments of confusion, revelation, and introspection in the scene, hinting at potential character growth and development. His interactions with Natalie and the mysterious Polaroid challenge his perceptions and beliefs.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to maintain control over his memories and emotions, as he grapples with his condition and the traumatic memories of his wife's death.

External Goal: 7.5

Leonard's external goal is to navigate the mysterious messages and calls he receives, particularly the one from the cop, which adds a layer of urgency and tension to the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, including Leonard's struggle with memory loss, his interactions with Natalie, and the mysterious Polaroid and phone call. These conflicts create tension and drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Leonard facing external threats and internal conflicts that challenge his beliefs and motivations, adding complexity and depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high for Leonard as he grapples with memory loss, deception, and the mystery surrounding his wife's death. The introduction of the cryptic messages and the unsettling Polaroid raise the stakes and add urgency to the story.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new mysteries, deepening character relationships, and setting up future conflicts and revelations. The phone call from the cop and the disturbing Polaroid propel the narrative in an intriguing direction.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists, cryptic messages, and enigmatic characters that keep the audience guessing and questioning the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of memory, identity, and truth. Leonard's struggle to piece together his past and make sense of his present challenges his beliefs and perceptions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including confusion, fascination, tension, and disturbance. The revelations about Leonard's past and the cryptic messages add emotional depth to the story.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and their relationships. The conversations between Leonard and Natalie are tense and intriguing, adding depth to their dynamic.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its compelling characters, intriguing plot developments, and atmospheric tension that keeps the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, balancing moments of tension and introspection with plot progression and character development, creating a dynamic and engaging rhythm.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene effectively conveys the visual and tonal elements of the story, enhancing the overall atmosphere and mood.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure that adds to the suspense and mystery, keeping the audience engaged and intrigued.


Critique
  • The scene transitions from a black and white sequence in a motel room to a color sequence in a bar, which may be confusing for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Natalie feels a bit disjointed and lacks a natural flow, making it hard to follow their conversation.
  • The flashback to Leonard's wife dying in the bathroom is abrupt and may not be clearly connected to the present-day conversation with Natalie.
  • The visual elements, such as the extreme close-up of a woman's eyes and the tattoo on Leonard's chest, could be more effectively integrated into the scene to enhance the storytelling.
  • The introduction of the ringing phone and the envelope with the Polaroid feels disconnected from the previous interactions between Leonard and Natalie.
Suggestions
  • Consider smoothing out the transitions between the different sequences to improve the coherence of the scene.
  • Work on refining the dialogue between Leonard and Natalie to make it more engaging and natural.
  • Find a clearer and more seamless way to connect the flashback to Leonard's wife's death with the present-day conversation with Natalie.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by integrating the visual elements more effectively into the scene to create a stronger impact.
  • Revisit the introduction of the ringing phone and the envelope with the Polaroid to ensure they are integrated smoothly into the scene and contribute to the overall narrative.



Scene 27 -  Memory and Mystery at Ferdy's Bar
137 INT. JAGUAR PARKED IN FERDY’S BAR PARKING LOT - DAY <<COLOUR 137*
SEQUENCE>>
Leonard sits, studying his Polaroids. A metallic howl makes *
him glance up and he sees the lid of a dumpster BANG SHUT. He *
puts his Polaroids in his pocket and examines the beer mat *
with the message: “COME BY AFTERWARDS, NATALIE” *
138 OMIT 138*
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
89.
139 INT. FERDY’S BAR ON MAIN STREET - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 139
Leonard enters and sits at the bar a couple of places down
from a filthy, toothless Drunk. Natalie (without bruises)
appears in front of him. Leonard looks up at Natalie without
recognition. She eyes him coldly, staring at his clothes.
LEONARD
Beer, please.
NATALIE
(apprehensive)
What do you want?
LEONARD
A BEER, please.
NATALIE
Don’t just waltz in here dressed like *
that and order a beer. *
Leonard looks over to the filthy Drunk, then back at Natalie.
LEONARD
There’s a dress code?
NATALIE
What are you here for?
LEONARD
I’m meeting someone called Natalie.
NATALIE
Well, that’s me.
LEONARD
Oh. But haven’t we met before?
Natalie slowly shakes her head. Leonard is confused.
LEONARD (cont’d)
So why am I here?
NATALIE
You tell me.
LEONARD
I don’t remember. See, I have no short- *
term memory. It’s not amnesia - *
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
90.
139 CONTINUED:
NATALIE
You’re the memory guy?
LEONARD
How do you know about me?
NATALIE
My boyfriend told me about you.
LEONARD
Who’s your boyfriend?
NATALIE
(beat)
Jimmy Grantz. Know him?
Leonard shrugs.
NATALIE (cont’d)
Well, it seems like Jimmy knows you. He
told me about you. Said you were staying
over at the Discount. Then, just this *
evening, this cop comes in here looking *
for you. Looking for a guy who couldn’t
remember stuff, who’d forget how he got
here or where he was going. I told him we
get a lot of guys like that in here.
Leonard does not find this funny.
LEONARD
Chronic alcoholism ~ one cause of short
term memory loss.
NATALIE
Are you Teddy?
LEONARD
My name’s Leonard. *
NATALIE
Did Teddy send you?
LEONARD
I don’t know.
Natalie stares at Leonard. Her look softens, becoming almost
pleading.
NATALIE
What’s happened to Jimmy?
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
91.
139 CONTINUED: (2) 139
LEONARD
I don’t know. I’m sorry.
NATALIE
You have no idea where you’ve just come
from? What you’ve just done?
Leonard shakes his head.
LEONARD
I can’t make new memories. Everything *
fades, nothing sticks. By the time we
finish this conversation I won’t remember
how it started, and the next time I see
you I won’t know that I’ve ever met you
before.
NATALIE
So why did you come here?
Leonard pulls the beer mat out of his pocket and hands it to
Natalie.
LEONARD
Found it in my pocket.
Natalie takes it, staring at it, emotional.
NATALIE
(quiet)
Your pocket.
She retreats down the bar to attend to a CUSTOMER, eyeing
Leonard suspiciously as he pulls out his Polaroids.
LATER:
Leonard hears a hocking sound and looks over to see the
filthy Drunk spitting a blob of sticky phlegm into a silver
tankard which Natalie holds across the bar. Natalie smiles.
NATALIE (cont’d)
Bar bet.
Leonard shakes his head and looks down. He hears a snort and
glances over again. The Drunk is pushing his finger against
one nostril, whilst blowing snot out the other into the
tankard. Natalie smiles again.
NATALIE (cont’d)
For a lot of money.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
92.
139 CONTINUED: (3) 139
She approaches with the tankard.
NATALIE (cont’d)
Care to contribute?
Leonard shakes his head, disgusted. Natalie waves the tankard
in his face.
NATALIE (cont’d)
Come on, proceeds are going to charity.
Leonard drops a tidy blob of spit into the beer, shakes his
head, revolted. Natalie places the mug on the bar in front of
the stool next to Leonard’s. She takes a long-handled spoon
and stirs it vigorously. Leonard grabs his Polaroids and
moves over to a booth.
Natalie brings over the tankard arid places it in front of
him, smiling.
NATALIE (cont’d)
On the house.
LEONARD
Thank-you.
Leonard raises the tankard to his lips.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Leonard, a man with short-term memory loss, encounters Natalie at Ferdy's Bar. Natalie suspects Leonard's connection to her boyfriend Jimmy. Leonard reveals his condition and shows Natalie a beer mat from his pocket. Natalie becomes emotional upon seeing the beer mat.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Intriguing character interactions
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some confusion due to Leonard's memory loss
  • Lack of clarity in certain character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging and intriguing, introducing new characters and providing important information about the plot. The dialogue is well-written and keeps the audience interested in Leonard's journey.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss and its impact on Leonard's life is effectively portrayed in this scene. The introduction of Natalie adds depth to the story and raises questions about Leonard's past.

Plot: 8

The plot thickens as new information is revealed about Leonard's connections to other characters and his past. The scene moves the story forward and sets up future conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on memory loss and identity, with a unique narrative structure that keeps the audience engaged. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and compelling.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Leonard and Natalie, are well-developed and intriguing. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 7

Both Leonard and Natalie undergo subtle changes in this scene, as they confront their pasts and grapple with new information. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to understand his own identity and memory loss. He is seeking answers to his past and trying to make sense of his current situation.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to figure out why he was sent to the bar and what connection he has to Natalie and Jimmy Grantz.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict in the scene, primarily stemming from Leonard's memory loss and the suspicions raised by Natalie. The tension between the characters adds intrigue and suspense.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting motives and hidden agendas that create suspense and intrigue.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high in this scene, as Leonard's memory loss and past connections come into focus. The tension between the characters raises the stakes and adds suspense to the story.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new characters, revealing important information, and setting up future conflicts. It adds depth to the narrative and keeps the audience engaged.

Unpredictability: 8.5

The scene is unpredictable in its revelations about the protagonist's memory loss and the true motives of the other characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of memory and identity. Leonard's condition challenges his sense of self and reality, while Natalie's skepticism adds to the conflict.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from confusion to suspicion to empathy. The interactions between Leonard and Natalie are emotionally charged and add depth to their characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and engaging, revealing important information about the characters and their relationships. It also adds tension and suspense to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its suspenseful dialogue, intriguing characters, and mysterious atmosphere.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, keeping the audience engaged and eager to learn more.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a typical structure for a mystery thriller genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Leonard studying his Polaroids, which sets the tone for his character and his memory issues.
  • The interaction between Leonard and Natalie is tense and confrontational, adding to the overall suspense of the script.
  • There is a lack of clarity in the dialogue, especially regarding the relationship between Leonard and Natalie, which can confuse the audience.
  • The scene does a good job of showcasing Leonard's struggle with his memory loss and how it affects his interactions with others.
  • The visual elements, such as the beer mat with the message and the Polaroids, add depth to the scene and help convey Leonard's internal struggles.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the relationship between Leonard and Natalie to avoid confusion for the audience.
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to Natalie's character to make her interactions with Leonard more impactful.
  • Work on tightening the dialogue to make it more engaging and clear for the audience.
  • Explore ways to visually represent Leonard's memory loss in a more creative and impactful manner.
  • Consider adding more subtext and layers to the scene to enhance the tension and suspense.



Scene 28 -  A Troubled Mind
140 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 140
Leonard, holding the Polaroid of himself, stares at the ringing *
phone. He picks up the receiver. *
LEONARD *
(anxious) *
What do you want? *
(listens) *
I know you’re a cop, but what do you *
want? Did I do something wrong? *
(frightened) *
No, but I can’t remember things I do. I *
don’t know what I just did. Maybe I did *
something wrong, did I do something *
wrong? *
Leonard paces. *
LEONARD *
I dunno - something bad. Maybe I did *
something bad. *
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
93.
A140 EXT. ALLEYWAY BEHIND TATTOO PARLOUR - DAY <<COLOUR A140
SEQUENCE>> *
Leonard DROPS from a WINDOW, gains his balance and HURRIES to *
his Jaguar which is parked on the street by the mouth of the *
alley. He slips into the car, CLOSES the door gently, starts *
the engine and SPEEDS away. *
B140 INT./EXT. JAGUAR PARKED OUTSIDE FERDY’S - DAY <<COLOUR B140
SEQUENCE>> *
Leonard reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a round *
piece of cardboard. It is a BEER MAT with the name of a local *
bar: “FERDY’S”. There is a message written on it: *
“COME BY AFTERWARDS, NATALIE”. *
Leonard looks up at the doorway of the bar, then pulls the *
car around into the parking lot. Natalie is standing by a *
dumpster, heaving a trash bag into it. She watches the car *
pull up, unable to see the driver. Natalie casually knocks on *
the passenger side window. Leonard lowers the window and *
Natalie leans down. *
NATALIE *
(casual) *
Hey, Jimmy - *
Natalie stares at Leonard confused. *
NATALIE (cont’d) *
I’m sorry, I... I thought you were *
someone else. *
Natalie backs away from the car, perturbed. Just before she *
disappears around the corner, she tips the lid of the *
dumpster, letting it fall with a metallic howl and a BANG. *
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Leonard, anxious and frightened, receives a phone call and fears he may have committed a wrongdoing. Despite his confusion, he drives away from a tattoo parlor and seeks solace at a bar.
Strengths
  • Intriguing plot twists
  • Tense dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some confusion due to conflicting information

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and intrigue through its mix of genres, tones, and sentiments. The emotional impact and high stakes keep the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss and its consequences is well-executed, adding depth to the characters and plot.

Plot: 8

The plot is intricate and keeps the audience guessing, with twists and turns that drive the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the theme of memory loss and identity, with a unique narrative structure that challenges traditional storytelling conventions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are complex and engaging, with conflicting motivations and hidden agendas.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo subtle changes as they navigate the complexities of memory loss and deception.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to understand his own actions and memories, as he grapples with memory loss and confusion. His fear of having done something wrong drives his anxious and frightened demeanor.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to follow the message on the beer mat and meet Natalie at Ferdy's bar. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of navigating his memory loss and the mysterious circumstances surrounding him.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts that drive the tension and keep the audience on edge.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Leonard facing internal and external challenges that test his beliefs and values, adding complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters grapple with memory loss, deception, and dangerous situations.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, revealing new information and raising the stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the uncertainty surrounding Leonard's actions and memories, as well as the mysterious circumstances that drive the narrative forward.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of memory and identity. Leonard's struggle to understand his own actions and the uncertainty of his past challenge his beliefs about himself and his place in the world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The emotional impact of the scene is high, with characters facing difficult choices and revealing vulnerabilities.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is tense and realistic, reflecting the characters' emotions and adding depth to the scenes.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, tense atmosphere, and intriguing character dynamics that keep the audience invested in Leonard's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension, keeping the audience engaged and invested in Leonard's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear and concise descriptions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively building tension and suspense through a combination of dialogue and action.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Leonard answering the phone in a state of anxiety and fear, which sets a tense and suspenseful tone.
  • Leonard's dialogue conveys his confusion and fear about not remembering his actions, adding to the mystery and intrigue of the scene.
  • The transition from Leonard answering the phone to him dropping from a window and speeding away in his car feels abrupt and disjointed.
  • The introduction of the beer mat with a message for Leonard to come to Ferdy's adds an element of intrigue and connection to Natalie, but the interaction between Leonard and Natalie at the car feels awkward and lacks clarity.
  • Natalie's confusion and mistaken identity with Leonard could be portrayed more clearly to enhance the tension and mystery of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider smoothing out the transition between Leonard's phone call and his escape from the tattoo parlor to create a more cohesive flow.
  • Provide more context or build-up to Leonard's arrival at Ferdy's and his interaction with Natalie to make the scene more engaging and impactful.
  • Clarify Natalie's confusion and mistaken identity with Leonard to enhance the tension and intrigue of the scene.
  • Explore ways to heighten the suspense and mystery surrounding Leonard's actions and interactions in the scene.
  • Consider adding visual cues or details to enhance the atmosphere and tension of the scene, such as lighting, sound effects, or camera angles.



Scene 29 -  Memories and a Tragic Twist
C140 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## C140
Leonard talks on the phone, worried. *
LEONARD *
No, Officer, but with my condition, you *
don’t know anything... you feel angry, *
guilty, you don’t know why. You could do *
something terrible and not have the *
faintest idea ten minutes later. Like *
Sammy. What if I’ve done something like *
Sammy?! *
(listens) *
I didn’t tell you? Didn’t I tell you *
what happened to Sammy and his wife?! *
(listens) *
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
93A.
C140 CONTINUED: C140
LEONARD (contd)
Mrs. Jankis came to my off ice and asked *
my honest opinion about Sammy’s *
condition. *
141 INT. LEONARD’S OFFICE - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 141
Mrs. Jankis is seated across the desk from Leonard. She gets
up to leave. Leonard just sits there.
LEONARD (V.0.)
I never said he was faking. Just that
his condition was mental, not physical.
She seemed satisfied, she just said
“thanks” and got up to leave. I found
out later that she went home and gave
Sammy his final exam.
142 INT. THE JANKIS HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE 142
SEQUENCE##
Sammy watches T.V. commercials. Mrs. Jankis watches him.
MRS. JANKIS
Sammy, it’s time for my shot.
Sammy looks up, smiling, glad to help. He goes into the
kitchen and comes back with a bottle of insulin, a syringe
and a cotton swab.
Sammy carefully prepares the injection and Mrs. Jankis offers
him her arm. (LEONARD AND LEONARD‘S WIFE TO SUBSTITUTE)
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
94.
142 CONTINUED: 142
LEONARD (V.O.)
She knew beyond doubt that he loved her,
so she found a way to test him.
Sammy injects the insulin, then withdraws the needle, smiles
reassuringly at his wife and goes back into the kitchen.
Mrs. Jankis watches Sammy flipping through the channels,
looking for commercials.
She sets her watch back by fifteen minutes.
MRS. JANKIS
Sammy, it’s time for my shot.
Sammy looks up, smiling, glad to be able to help. He goes
into the kitchen and comes back with the bottle of insulin,
the syringe and a new cotton swab.
He carefully prepares the injection and Mrs. Jankis offers
him her other arm. Sammy injects the insulin, then looks up
at her and smiles.
Sammy watches T.V. Mrs. Jankis sets her watch back by fifteen
minutes.
MRS. JANKIS (cont’d)
Sammy, it’s time for my shot.
Sammy looks over from the T.V., smiling, glad to be able to
help.
Mrs. Jankis offers Sammy her leg, and he gives her another
shot of insulin, smiling.
LEONARD (V.O.)
She really thought she would call his
bluff...
Mrs. Jankis sets her watch back by fifteen minutes.
LEONARD (V.O.) (cont’d)
... or didn’t want to live with the
things she’d put him through.
Sammy injects her in the stomach.
DISSOLVE TO:
Mrs. Jankis, unconscious in her chair. Sammy glances over from
watching T.V. commercials, wondering.
He goes to her and takes her hand, nudging her gently.
(CONTINUED)
95.
142 CONTINUED: (2) 142
LEONARD (V.0.) (CONT’D)
She went into a coma and never
recovered.
Sammy grabs for the phone, dialing frantically.
LEONARD (V.O.)(cont’d)
Sammy couldn’t understand or explain
what had happened.
Sammy strokes Mrs. Jankis’ cheek, crying.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Concerned about his condition, Leonard recounts Sammy's story. Sammy, with a mental illness, unknowingly overdosed his wife, Mrs. Jankis, with insulin injections, leading to her death. Suspecting he was faking his illness, Mrs. Jankis tested Sammy's love, setting off a tragic chain of events.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Intriguing backstory
  • Tension building
Weaknesses
  • Complexity of memory themes may be challenging for some viewers to follow

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and emotion through the exploration of Sammy Jankis' story, adding depth to the narrative and raising intriguing questions about memory and trust.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of testing someone's memory and the tragic outcome is a compelling and thought-provoking element that adds layers to the overall story.

Plot: 8

The plot thickens as the audience learns more about Sammy Jankis and his wife, adding complexity and depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to exploring memory loss and its consequences, with a nonlinear narrative structure that keeps the audience engaged.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters in the scene, particularly Mrs. Jankis and Sammy, are portrayed with depth and emotion, adding to the overall intrigue and mystery.

Character Changes: 7

The revelation of Sammy Jankis' story and the impact on Mrs. Jankis showcases a significant character change and adds depth to their relationship.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to understand his own condition and fears related to potentially harming someone unknowingly, like Sammy. This reflects his deeper need for clarity and control over his own actions.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to uncover the truth about Sammy and Mrs. Jankis, which reflects the immediate challenge of his memory loss and the consequences of his actions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict between memory and reality, trust and manipulation, adds tension and intrigue to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Leonard facing internal and external challenges that drive the conflict and propel the story forward.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes are evident in the tragic outcome of Sammy Jankis' final exam, highlighting the consequences of memory manipulation.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by providing crucial information about Sammy Jankis and his wife, which impacts the overall narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the fragmented narrative and the revelation of new information about Sammy and Mrs. Jankis.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of memory, guilt, and responsibility. Leonard grapples with the idea of unknowingly causing harm and the consequences of his actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The emotional impact of the scene is significant, as it delves into a tragic and mysterious event that resonates with the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotional weight of the situation and provides insight into the characters' motivations and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its nonlinear structure, emotional depth, and the mystery surrounding Leonard's condition and past actions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience invested in Leonard's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene aligns with the genre's conventions, using visual cues like black and white sequences to enhance the storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively transitioning between different time periods to reveal key information.


Critique
  • The scene transitions between different locations and time periods, which can be confusing for the audience to follow.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and the police officer feels repetitive and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to fully engage with the scene.
  • The flashback sequences with Mrs. Jankis and Sammy are important for understanding Leonard's past, but the execution feels disjointed and could be more seamlessly integrated into the narrative.
  • The visual elements, such as Sammy preparing the insulin injections, are crucial for conveying the tragic events that led to Mrs. Jankis' death, but the repetition of the scenes may feel redundant to the audience.
  • The emotional impact of Mrs. Jankis' death and Sammy's confusion could be heightened with more nuanced acting and direction.
Suggestions
  • Consider streamlining the flashback sequences to maintain a cohesive narrative flow and prevent confusion for the audience.
  • Focus on enhancing the dialogue between Leonard and the police officer to add depth and emotional resonance to the scene.
  • Integrate the flashback sequences more organically into the main storyline to create a seamless transition between past and present events.
  • Explore different visual techniques to convey the emotional weight of Mrs. Jankis' death and Sammy's turmoil, such as using lighting, sound, and camera angles.
  • Work with the actors to bring out the complexity of the characters' emotions and motivations, particularly in the tragic moments leading to Mrs. Jankis' coma and death.



Scene 30 -  Interrupted Tattoo Session
143 INT. CROWDED DAY ROOM OF A NURSING HOME - DAY ##BLACK AND 143
WHITE SEQUENCE##
Sammy sits watching other patients and nursing staff pass by.
(LEONARD TO SUBSTITUTE) He looks at each one with a fresh
look of expectant recognition.
LEONARD (V.0.)
He’s been in a home ever since. He
doesn’t even know his wife is dead.
144 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 144*
Leonard strokes the tattoo on his hand.
LEONARD (cont’d) *
Sammy’s brain didn’t respond to *
conditioning, but he was no con man. *
When his wife looked into his eyes she *
thought he could be the same as he ever *
was. When I looked into Sammy’s eyes, I *
thought I saw recognition. We were both *
wrong.
Leonard looks into the mirror.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
96.
144 CONTINUED: 144
LEONARD (cont’d)
Now I know. You take it. If you think
you’re supposed to recognize someone,
you pretend to. You bluff it to get a
pat on the head from the doctors. You
bluff it to seem less of a freak. *
145 EXT. STRIP MALL - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 145
The TYRES of the Jaguar SCREAM as the car SCREECHES to a
halt. Leonard backs the car up and stops in front of a TATTOO
PARLOR. He grabs a FILE CARD of f the dash which says:
“TATTOO: FACT 6. CAR LICENSE: SG13 7IU”
146 INT. TATTOO PARLOR - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 146
Leonard (beige suit) enters. A TATTOOIST is sitting with a
magazine, smoking.
LEONARD
Didn’t know this town had a parlor.
TATTOOIST
Every town’s got a parlor.
LEONARD
I’d like this on my thigh please.
Leonard hands her a FILE CARD. She reads the card, then looks
at him. He shrugs.
147 INT. CURTAINED CUBICLE - TATTOO PARLOR - DAY - CONTINUOUS 147
<<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
Leonard unbuckles his trousers and starts to pull them down.
He STOPS when he sees his thigh, looking up at the tattooist.
LEONARD
Promise you won’t call me an idiot.
He pulls down his trousers, revealing his SCABBY, homemade
tattoo. (“FACT 5: DRUG DEALER”). The tattooist looks at it.
TATTOOIST
(shaking her head)
Idiot.
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
97.
148 INT. CURTAINED CUBICLE – TATTOO PARLOR – DAY – CONTINUOUS 148
<<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
Extreme close-up of the tattooing needle finishing an “F”.
Wider shows us Leonard sitting with his suit trousers around
his ankles in a curtained cubicle. Next to him on the floor
is his sports bag of notes and papers. The tattooist is *
tattooing his thigh, Leonard is reading a file, fascinated.
The curtain is thrust open and Teddy pokes his head in.
TEDDY
Hi, Lenny.
The tattooist turns and looks up at Teddy. *
TATTOOIST *
It’s private back here.
TEDDY
It’s alright, we know each other, right,
Lenny?
The tattooist looks to Leaonard. Leonard shrugs. *
LEONARD
How’d you know I was in here?
TEDDY
The Jaguar’s out front. You didn’t even
Bother to put it around back.
Teddy cranes his neck to see what the tattoo says, but only
“6. LI” is visible.
TEDDY (cont’d)
You should have just left town, Lenny.
There’s Tattoo parlors up North.
LEONARD
Guess I wanted to get something down
before it slipped my mind.
The tattoo needle buzzes as the tattooist makes a start on *
the next letter: a “C”. Teddy sticks his hand through the
curtain.
TEDDY
Gimme the keys, I’ll move the car.
Leonard watches Teddy.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
98.
148 CONTINUED: 148
LEONARD
It’ll be alright for a minute.
Teddy shrugs. The tattooist looks up at him.
TATTOOIST
Wait out there.
Teddy goes back through the curtain. Teddy pops his head back
through the curtain.
TEDDY
Lenny, I’ll be back in a minute. I’ve got
to get you some stuff.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Leonard visits a tattoo parlor to get a new tattoo on his thigh. While in the middle of the tattooing process, Teddy interrupts and offers to move Leonard's car. After a brief conflict, Teddy promises to return with something for Leonard.
Strengths
  • Deep exploration of memory loss
  • Intriguing character dynamics
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Revealing revelations about past events
Weaknesses
  • Some scenes may be confusing for viewers not familiar with the overall plot

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, filled with tension, and provides crucial information about the characters and their past. It keeps the audience on edge with its mysterious tone and emotional depth.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss and its impact on the characters is well-developed and adds layers to the narrative. The exploration of recognition and deception adds complexity to the story.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses as Leonard grapples with his past, encounters Teddy, and gets a revealing tattoo. The scene sets up future conflicts and deepens the mystery surrounding Leonard's condition.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on memory loss and identity, with a focus on the emotional impact of recognition and acceptance.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Leonard and Teddy, are intriguing and multi-dimensional. Their interactions reveal more about their motivations and relationships, adding depth to the story.

Character Changes: 7

Leonard experiences internal growth and realization about recognition and memory. His interactions with Teddy hint at a shift in his perspective and trust.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with the idea of recognition and memory, as he reflects on Sammy's condition and his own struggles with memory loss.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to get a tattoo on his thigh, which reflects his need to hold onto memories and create a sense of identity.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Leonard's past, his condition, and the revelations about Sammy create a sense of unease and suspense. The tension between characters adds to the conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and conflict, creating obstacles for the protagonist to overcome and driving the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as Leonard confronts his past, encounters Teddy, and gets a revealing tattoo. The revelations about Sammy and recognition add complexity to the stakes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about the characters, setting up future conflicts, and deepening the mystery. It propels the narrative towards resolution.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions and revelations that challenge the protagonist's beliefs and actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of memory and recognition, as the protagonist grapples with the concept of pretending to recognize someone for acceptance.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The emotional impact is high as Leonard grapples with his memories, Sammy's tragic story, and the revelations about his tattoo. The scene evokes empathy and curiosity.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp and reflective of the characters' emotions and intentions. It conveys tension, confusion, and secrecy effectively.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of its introspective dialogue, emotional depth, and the protagonist's internal conflict.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, enhancing the impact of the protagonist's reflections and actions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is consistent with the genre and effectively conveys the visual elements and emotional tone of the setting.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure that effectively conveys the protagonist's internal and external goals, with a seamless transition between different settings.


Critique
  • The transition from the nursing home to the tattoo parlor is abrupt and may be confusing for the audience. Consider a smoother transition to maintain continuity.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and the tattooist feels a bit forced and lacks depth. Consider adding more meaningful interaction to enhance the scene.
  • The introduction of Teddy in the tattoo parlor feels random and disrupts the flow of Leonard getting a new tattoo. Consider integrating Teddy's presence more seamlessly into the scene.
  • The revelation of Leonard's scabby homemade tattoo and the interaction with the tattooist could be more impactful. Consider building up the tension and emotion in this moment.
  • The scene lacks a clear purpose or direction, leaving the audience unsure of its significance in the overall story. Consider clarifying the scene's relevance to the plot.
Suggestions
  • Smooth out the transition between the nursing home and the tattoo parlor to improve continuity.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Leonard and the tattooist to add depth and authenticity to their interaction.
  • Integrate Teddy's presence more organically into the scene to avoid disrupting the flow of Leonard getting a new tattoo.
  • Build up the tension and emotion in the moment of revealing Leonard's scabby homemade tattoo to make it more impactful.
  • Clarify the scene's purpose and relevance to the overall story to ensure it contributes meaningfully to the plot.



Scene 31 -  Flight Plan
149 INT.CURTAINED CUBICLE - TATTOO PARLOR - DAY - MOMENTS LATER 149
<<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
The buzzing of the tattoo needle stops. Leonard looks down at
his thigh. It says:
“FACT 6. CAR LICENSE: SG13 7IU”

150 INT. TATTOO PARLOR - DAY - MOMENTS LATER <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 150
Leonard exits the curtained cubicle, buckling his belt. Teddy
is waiting for him with a PLASTIC BAG. Leonard pays the
tattooist. Teddy looks at her.
TEDDY
Give us a minute, will ya?
She shrugs and heads into the back. Teddy watches her go,
then turns to Leonard, conspiratorial.
TEDDY (cont’d)
We’ve got to get you out of here. *
LEONARD
Why?
TEDDY
Why? Come on, Leonard, we talked about
this. It’s not safe f or you to be walking
around like this.
LEONARD
Why not?
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
99.
150 CONTINUED: 150
TEDDY
Because that cop’s looking for you. We *
need to get you a change of identity.
Some new clothes and a different car
should do for now. Put these on. *
Teddy offers the bag of clothes. Leonard refuses it. *
LEONARD *
What cop?
TEDDY
This bad cop. He checked you into the *
Discount Inn. Then he’s been calling you *
for days, sticking envelopes under your *
door, telling you shit. *
LEONARD
Envelopes? *
TEDDY
He knows you’re no good on the phone, so *
he calls you up to bullshit you. *
Sometimes you stop taking his calls, so *
he slips something under your door to *
frighten you into answering your phone *
again. He’s been pretending to help you. *
Feeding you a line of crap about John G. *
being some local drug dealer. *
LEONARD
How do you know this?
TEDDY
‘Cos he fucking told me. He thinks it’s
funny. He’s laughing at you.
LEONARD
How do you know him?
TEDDY
(glances around)
I’m a snitch. He’s a cop from out of town
looking for information. The local boys
put us in touch.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
100.
150 CONTINUED: (2) 150
Leonard takes the plastic bag.
LEONARD *
What did he want to know from you? *
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
101.
150 CONTINUED: (3) 150
TEDDY *
He wanted to know all, about Jimmy Grantz.
LEONARD
Who?
TEDDY
Jimmy’s a drug dealer. This cop wanted to
know all about how he sets up deals, shit
like that. He’s got some score in mind *
and you’re involved. Come on, there’s no *
time to argue - if he knew I was helping *
you he’d find a way to kill me. Just get *
these clothes on. You’re gonna take my *
car and get the fuck out of here. *
Leonard heads back into the curtained cubicle with the
plastic bag of clothes.
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
102.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Leonard gets a tattoo that says "FACT 6. CAR LICENSE: SG13 7IU." Teddy tells Leonard that a cop is looking for him and that he needs to get a new identity. Teddy gives Leonard a bag of clothes and tells him to take his car and get out of there.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Intriguing plot developments
  • Complex characters
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
  • Lack of clarity in certain character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and intrigue, keeping the audience engaged with the unfolding mystery and the protagonist's internal conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss and the protagonist's search for truth is compelling and well-executed, adding depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly with the introduction of new threats and revelations, driving the story forward and increasing the stakes for the protagonist.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the theme of identity and deception, with a unique twist on the protagonist's predicament. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the suspenseful atmosphere.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are intriguing and complex, with conflicting motivations and hidden agendas that add layers to the narrative.

Character Changes: 7

The protagonist undergoes subtle changes as he navigates the challenges and revelations in the scene, deepening his internal conflict and adding complexity to his character.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to understand the danger he is in and make a decision about how to proceed. This reflects his deeper need for safety and security, as well as his fear of being caught or harmed.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to escape the danger he is in by changing his identity, clothes, and car. This reflects the immediate challenge of evading a corrupt cop who is looking for him.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, as the protagonist faces threats from a dangerous cop and a mysterious drug dealer, while also dealing with his own memory loss and uncertainty.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing a dangerous situation and conflicting advice from Teddy. The audience is unsure of who to trust and how the protagonist will navigate the threat.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene, with the protagonist facing threats to his safety and identity, as well as the possibility of uncovering dangerous truths about his past.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward, introducing new plot points, conflicts, and revelations that propel the narrative towards its climax.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting loyalties, hidden agendas, and unexpected revelations. The audience is kept guessing about the characters' true motivations and intentions.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between loyalty and self-preservation. The protagonist must decide whether to trust Teddy and take his advice to escape, or to stay and face the consequences of the cop's pursuit.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from anxiety and fear to empathy and intrigue, drawing the audience into the protagonist's emotional journey.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp and engaging, revealing important information about the characters and their relationships while maintaining a sense of mystery.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, high stakes, and moral dilemmas. The audience is drawn into the protagonist's dilemma and invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a sense of urgency and momentum that drives the action forward. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the atmosphere of danger and uncertainty.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. The visual descriptions enhance the atmosphere of the tattoo parlor setting.

Structure: 8.5

The scene follows the expected structure for a suspenseful thriller, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the tension and urgency of the situation.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clarity in terms of the overall objective and motivation of the characters. It is not clear why Teddy is so insistent on getting Leonard out of the tattoo parlor and changing his identity.
  • The dialogue between Teddy and Leonard feels a bit forced and expository, with Teddy providing a lot of information in a short span of time.
  • There is a lack of subtlety in the way information is revealed to the audience, with Teddy explicitly stating the cop's intentions and actions rather than showing them through actions or more nuanced dialogue.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual storytelling to enhance the tension and intrigue, rather than relying solely on dialogue to convey information.
  • The emotional stakes of the scene could be heightened to make the audience more invested in Leonard's predicament and the danger he is supposedly in.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more layers to Teddy's character to make his motivations and actions more believable and engaging.
  • Try to show rather than tell when it comes to revealing information about the cop and the danger Leonard is in. This can create a more suspenseful and engaging scene.
  • Introduce more visual elements to enhance the atmosphere and tension of the scene, such as using lighting, camera angles, and setting to convey the sense of urgency and danger.
  • Work on tightening the dialogue to make it more natural and less expository. Allow the characters to reveal information in a more organic and believable way.
  • Consider adding a twist or unexpected turn of events to keep the audience on their toes and add depth to the scene.



Scene 32 -  Leonard's Escape
151 INT. CURTAINED CUBICLE - TATTOO PARLOR - DAY - CONTINUOUS 151
<<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
Leonard drops the plastic bag and takes his jacket off. He
feels something in the pocket, sticks his hand in and pulls *
out a charred Polaroid photograph. *
Leonard examines it, PUZZLED. All that is visible is AN ARM, *
lying on a floor. Leonard reaches into the other pocket and *
pulls out his POLAROIDS, flicking through them until he finds
the one of Teddy. He flips it over and checks the back:
“DON’T BELIEVE HIS LIES”
Leonard reacts with amused RELIEF.
LEONARD
(under his breath)
Sneaky fuck. “Bad Cop”. Had me going.
Leonard puts his jacket back on, checks the other pockets. He
finds a BEER MAT for a local bar named FERDY’S. There is a
message written on it:
“COME BY AFTERWARDS, NATALIE”
Leonard sticks it back in his pocket. He PEEKS through the
curtains. Teddy is sitting by the door, waiting. Leonard
looks around, NOTICES a window set high in the wall above the
padded bench in the cubicle. Leonard CLIMBS on the bench,
OPENS the window and SQUEEZES himself through.
152 EXT. TATTOO PARLOUR ALLEYWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS <<COLOUR 152
SEQUENCE>>
Leonard DROPS from the window, regains his balance and
hurries to his Jaguar which is parked on the street by the
mouth of the alley.
CUT TO:
153 INT. MOTEL ROOM 21 - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 153
Leonard, in boxers and plaid work shirt, sits hunched over *
the bedside table, flipping through the file as he talks on *
the phone.
LEONARD
So this Jimmy Grantz deals drugs out of *
the bar where his girlfriend works. But *
he’ll come to the meet alone. *
Leonard looks down at the FRESH TATTOO on his thigh. *
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
102A.
153 CONTINUED: 153
“FACT 5: DRUG DEALER” *
He consults a file which he has drawn from his bag. *
LEONARD (cont’d) *
I always figured the drugs angle would *
be the best way to get him. No, officer, *
I’m ready. Ready as I’ll ever be.
(listens)
You’re downstairs now? What do you look
like?
(listens)
I’ll be right down.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
103.
153 CONTINUED: (2) 153
Leonard hangs up the phone and pulls on a pair of scruffy
jeans. He grabs his Polaroid camera and puts it over his *
shoulder.
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Crime"]

Summary Leonard finds a note in his pocket instructing him to meet Natalie at a bar. He seizes a chance to escape the tattoo parlor by climbing out a window and driving away in his car.
Strengths
  • Engaging plot
  • Mysterious tone
  • Complex characters
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too cryptic for clarity

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, filled with tension, and reveals important information about Leonard's situation and motivations.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using Polaroids and tattoos as memory aids is unique and adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Leonard prepares to confront a drug dealer, adding to the overall mystery and suspense.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as the charred Polaroid photograph and the cryptic messages, adding depth to the characters and plot. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters, especially Leonard, show determination and vulnerability, adding complexity to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Leonard shows determination and resourcefulness, indicating growth and development in his character.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth behind the messages he finds, particularly the charred Polaroid photograph and the message on the beer mat. This reflects his deeper need for clarity and understanding in a world where he struggles with memory loss and deception.

External Goal: 7.5

Leonard's external goal in this scene is to evade Teddy and escape the tattoo parlor without being caught. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in navigating a dangerous and uncertain environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is internal conflict within Leonard as he grapples with his memory loss and external conflict as he plans to confront a drug dealer.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Teddy serving as a formidable obstacle for Leonard to overcome as he navigates the tattoo parlor and evades capture.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Leonard prepares to confront a drug dealer and navigate his memory loss.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns, such as the discovery of the charred Polaroid photograph and the cryptic messages that challenge Leonard's perceptions.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around trust and deception. Leonard's reaction to the message on the Polaroid and beer mat challenges his beliefs about the people around him and the reliability of his own memories.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of tension and intrigue, keeping the audience emotionally engaged.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is concise and serves to move the plot forward while revealing important information.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its suspenseful atmosphere, intriguing clues, and dynamic character interactions that keep the audience invested in Leonard's journey.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and discovery, keeping the audience engaged and eager to uncover the next revelation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with concise action lines and dialogue that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution that propel the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene starts with Leonard finding a charred Polaroid photograph in his pocket, which adds an element of mystery and intrigue. However, the significance of the photograph and the arm visible on it is not fully explored or explained.
  • The message on the back of Teddy's Polaroid, 'DON'T BELIEVE HIS LIES,' adds tension and raises questions about Teddy's trustworthiness. This creates a sense of suspense and conflict, but it could be further developed to enhance the plot.
  • Leonard's reaction to the message on the Polaroid, expressing relief and calling Teddy a 'Sneaky fuck,' adds depth to his character. However, the transition from relief to climbing out of the window feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The discovery of the beer mat with a message from Natalie at Ferdy's Bar introduces a new plot point involving Natalie. This adds complexity to the story but could be integrated more seamlessly into the scene.
  • The scene transitions to Leonard climbing out of the window and hurrying to his Jaguar, which creates a sense of urgency and action. However, the transition between the tattoo parlor and the motel room could be clearer to enhance the flow of the narrative.
Suggestions
  • Provide more context or explanation for the charred Polaroid photograph and the arm visible on it to deepen the mystery and intrigue.
  • Further develop the tension and conflict surrounding Teddy's message on the Polaroid to add layers to the plot.
  • Smooth out the transition from Leonard's reaction to the Polaroid message to climbing out of the window for a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Integrate the introduction of Natalie and the message on the beer mat more seamlessly into the scene to enhance the plot development.
  • Clarify the transition between Leonard leaving the tattoo parlor and arriving at the motel room to improve the pacing and coherence of the scene.



Scene 33 -  Confrontation at the Derelict Building
154 EXT. DISCOUNT INN - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 154
Leonard exits and heads to the Motel office.
155 INT. DISCOUNT INN OFFICE - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 155
The BELL CHIMES as Leonard enters. Burt is behind the
counter. A MAN stands by the free coffee. The Man TURNS *
AROUND. It is Teddy, with a big grin.
TEDDY
Lenny!
Leonard smiles cautiously, and offers his hand.
LEONARD
Officer Gammell.
156 EXT. DISCOUNT INN - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 156
Leonard exits the office, followed by Teddy, and looks
through his Polaroids. He finds one of a PICKUP TRUCK, spots
it in the lot, and walks over to it. He turns around and
points his camera at Teddy. Teddy grins wider. Leonard snaps
the picture.
LEONARD
Something to remember you by.
Leonard lowers the camera and takes out a pen, resting the
picture against the truck, about to write on the white strip
beneath the developing picture.
LEONARD (cont’d)
I’m sorry — is it Officer, or Lieutenant
Gammell?
Teddy coughs and looks at the picture.
TEDDY
Just Teddy. Don’t write Gammell please.
Leonard raises his eyebrows.
TEDDY (cont’d)
I’m undercover. Here’s directions. He’ll
be heading there now.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
104.
156 CONTINUED: 156
Teddy pulls a note out of his pocket and hands it to Leonard.
LEONARD
You‘re not coming?
TEDDY
Wouldn’t be appropriate. *
Leonard climbs into the truck. Teddy taps on the window.
TEDDY (cont’d)
Leonard?
Leonard cranks it down. Teddy looks at Leonard with something
like fatherly affection.
TEDDY (cont’d)
Make him beg.
157 INT./EXT. PICKUP TRUCK ON STREET - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE 157
SEQUENCE##
The pickup truck speeds along, past strip malls and gas
stations, heading into more desolate industrialization.
158 EXT. THE DERELICT BUILDING - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE##158
The pickup truck bumps across the railroad tracks, then pulls
up in front of the LARGE DERELICT BUILDING. Leonard gets out
of the pickup, looking around.
159 INT. DERELICT BUILDING - DAY - ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 159
He heads into the house, down the DIMLY-LIT, DECAYING FORMER
HALLWAY, treading carefully on the LOOSE, ROTTEN FLOORBOARDS.
He notices a door at the end of the hallway. He opens the
door to see that it leads down to the basement.
Leonard hears a CAR APPROACHING. He slips into the kitchen
and looks out the dirty, broken front windows.
160 EXT. DERELICT BUILDING - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 160
THE JAGUAR is approaching fast. It parks next to the PICKUP
TRUCK, and the driver emerges; a young man in his 30’s,
smartly dressed in BEIGE SUIT and BLUE SHIRT. This is JIMMY,
the young man from Natalie’s photograph. He looks at the
truck then at the house.
161 INT. DERELICT BUILDING - DAY ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 161
Leonard steps back into the shadows of the crumbling kitchen.
Jimmy approaches the doorway, peering into the dark hallway.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
105.
161 CONTINUED: 161
JIMMY
Teddy?!
Jimmy steps cautiously inside. Leonard emerges from the
kitchen.

LEONARD
Jimmy?
JIMMY
What the fuck are you doing here?
LEONARD
Do you remember me?
JIMMY
(laughs)
Yeah, I remember you.
LEONARD
You Jimmy Grantz? *
JIMMY
Expecting any other Jimmy’s out here,
Memory Man? Where the fuck’s Teddy?
Leonard comes out of the gloom, stopping in front of Jimmy,
studying his face. Leonard has a JACK HANDLE in his hand.
JIMMY (cont’d)
Well?
FLASHBACK TO:
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Crime"]

Summary Leonard tracks down Jimmy Grantz to a derelict building, determined to force him to beg. Teddy, an undercover agent, provides Leonard with directions to the building. Jimmy is surprised to see Leonard and questions his motives. Leonard, armed with a jack handle, faces Jimmy in the desolate, industrial setting, leaving the outcome uncertain.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Mysterious atmosphere
  • Well-developed characters
Weaknesses
  • Some ambiguity in character motivations
  • Lack of clarity in past interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively builds tension and mystery through the interaction between Leonard, Teddy, and Jimmy, keeping the audience engaged and curious.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around a clandestine meeting at a derelict building, with hidden motives and conflicting agendas at play.

Plot: 8

The plot thickens as Leonard encounters Jimmy at the derelict building, raising questions about their past interactions and the true nature of their relationship.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the noir genre with its nonlinear storytelling and unreliable narrator. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and compelling.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Leonard, Teddy, and Jimmy are well-developed and add depth to the scene through their conflicting personalities and hidden agendas.

Character Changes: 7

The encounter between Leonard and Jimmy hints at potential character growth and revelations, as their past interactions come to light and their true motives are questioned.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal is to uncover the truth about his past and his condition of short-term memory loss. He is seeking answers and closure.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to follow the directions given by Teddy and confront Jimmy, potentially seeking revenge or justice.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard, Teddy, and Jimmy is palpable, with each character hiding their true intentions and agendas, leading to a tense confrontation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting motivations and hidden agendas among the characters. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding to the suspense.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of the scene are evident in the tense confrontation between Leonard, Teddy, and Jimmy, as hidden agendas and conflicting motives come to light.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, raising questions about the characters' pasts, and setting the stage for future revelations.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable due to the shifting dynamics between the characters and the revelation of new information. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of the characters' true intentions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around memory, identity, and trust. Leonard's condition challenges his sense of self and reality, while Teddy's undercover work questions the nature of truth and deception.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes feelings of tension, suspense, and curiosity in the audience, as they are drawn into the web of deception and mystery surrounding the characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is cryptic and tense, adding to the suspense of the scene and keeping the audience guessing about the characters' true intentions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intriguing characters, suspenseful dialogue, and atmospheric setting. The interactions between Leonard, Teddy, and Jimmy keep the audience hooked.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments and character interactions. The rhythm enhances the suspense and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting enhances the visual storytelling and pacing, effectively conveying the mood and tension.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure that adds to the mystery and suspense. It adheres to the expected format for a thriller genre.


Critique
  • The scene transitions from Leonard exiting the Discount Inn to encountering Teddy in a somewhat abrupt manner, lacking a smooth flow.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Teddy feels a bit forced and could benefit from more natural interactions between the characters.
  • The introduction of Jimmy at the derelict building feels sudden and could use more build-up to create suspense and intrigue.
  • The flashback to Leonard having a jack handle in his hand without context feels disjointed and could be better integrated into the scene.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the setting and atmosphere of the derelict building.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between Leonard exiting the Discount Inn and encountering Teddy to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Work on making the dialogue between Leonard and Teddy more organic and reflective of their relationship.
  • Build up the introduction of Jimmy at the derelict building to create more tension and anticipation.
  • Integrate the flashback to Leonard having a jack handle in his hand more seamlessly into the scene to provide context and continuity.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the derelict building to create a more immersive setting for the scene.



Scene 34 -  Deadly Descent
162 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT BATHROOM – NIGHT ##BLACK AND WHITE 162
SEQUENCE##
Leonard’s wife, head wrapped in a water-beaded clear plastic
shower curtain, THRASHING around, GASPING for breath.
163 INT. DERELICT BUILDING – DAY - ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 163
Leonard HITS Jimmy around the head with the jack handle.
Jimmy goes down, but STRUGGLES as Leonard drags him deeper
into the dark hallway. Leonard bends over the groaning Jimmy,
frisking him, finding nothing.
JIMMY (cont’d)
You fucking retard, you can’t get away
with this –
Leonard holds the jack handle above him.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
106.
163 CONTINUED: 163
LEONARD
Strip!
Jimmy starts taking off his suit.
JIMMY
You’re making a big fucking mistake. My
associates are not people you want –
LEONARD
Don’t say anything else.
JIMMY
I knew I couldn’t trust that fuck –
LEONARD
Quiet!
Jimmy drops his shirt.
LEONARD (cont’d)
Pants, too.
JIMMY
Why?
LEONARD
I don’t want blood on them.
JIMMY
(sudden fear)
Wait! Did he tell you what I was
bringing?
LEONARD
Strip!
JIMMY
Look, there’s two hundred grand stashed
in the car. Just take it!
Leonard shoves Jimmy to the ground.
LEONARD
You think you can bargain with me?!
JIMMY
Take the money and walk away!
LEONARD
I don’t want your fucking money!
(CONTINUED)
107.
163 CONTINUED: (2) 163
JIMMY
What?! What do you want from me?!
Leonard looks up.
164 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT – DAY - ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE##164
Leonard’s wife, smiling.
165 INT. DERELICT BUILDING – DAY - ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 165
Leonard is losing it.
LEONARD
I want my fucking life back!
Jimmy SWINGS at Leonard with a BROKEN FLOORBOARD, STRIKING
his shoulder. The jack handle goes flying. Jimmy SWINGS
again, misses. Leonard GRABS him, taking him down. The two of
them STRUGGLE on the floor. Leonard gets ON TOP of Jimmy,
CHOKING him. Jimmy tries to speak, but can only make GURGLING
noises. As Leonard watches Jimmy fight for air we:
166 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT BATHROOM – NIGHT - ##BLACK AND 166
WHITE SEQUENCE##
Leonard’s wife THRASHES her head from side to side,
STRUGGLING to breathe though the clear plastic shower
curtain.
BACK TO SCENE:
167 INT. DERELICT BUILDING – DAY - ##BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE## 167
Jimmy’s arms THRASH, his hands catching Leonard’s face,
SCRATCHING his cheek. Leonard tips his head back and
increases his efforts. Jimmy STOPS struggling. Leonard keeps
his hands around Jimmy’s throat until he is confident that he
is DEAD.
Leonard BREATHES as he stands up. He nods to himself with
satisfaction. He looks around for his POLAROID CAMERA. He
snaps a FLASH picture of Jimmy’s body, and stares intently at
the POLAROID as it begins to DEVELOP.
We see the IMAGE OF THE STRANGLED JIMMY appear <<IN
COLOUR>>(POST)
168 INT. DAY – DERELICT BUILDING – CONTINUOUS <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>168
Leonard stands above Jimmy’s body, examining the picture he
has just taken, nodding to himself, catching his breath.
(CONTINUED)
108.
168 CONTINUED: 168
Leonard grabs Jimmy’ s body by the legs, DRAGGING him back *
towards the basement. He opens the door and BACKS down into
the DARKNESS, pulling Jimmy behind him.
169 INT. BASEMENT OF DERELICT BUILDING - DAY - CONTINUOUS 169
<<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
Leonard BACKS DOWN the stairs, dragging Jimmy’s BODY, head
BUMPING down each step. In the middle of the room, Leonard
DROPS the legs. Moving fast, Leonard pulls the BEIGE SUIT *
TROUSERS from the body, REMOVES HIS OWN SCRUFFY JEANS AND *
PLAID WORK SHIRT. Leonard dresses in Jimmy’s BLUE SHIRT and *
BEIGE SUIT. He grabs the Polaroids from his PLAID WORK SHIRT *
and sticks them in his suit jacket pocket. He dumps his old *
clothes onto Jimmy’s body. A faint RASPING comes from Jimmy’s *
throat. Leonard, frightened, bends down to listen.
JIMMY
(barely and audible rasp)
Sammy... remember Sammy...
Leonard is SHOCKED. Jimmy is silent. The sound of a CAR
outside. Leonard JUMPS to his feet.
170 INT. KITCHEN, DERELICT BUILDING - DAY - CONTINUOUS <<COLOUR 170
SEQUENCE>>
Leonard looks out to see Teddy getting out of his GREY SEDAN.
Leonard leafs through his Polaroids finding the one of Teddy.
There is nothing on the back. He sticks his Polaroids back in
his pocket, pausing at the one of the STRANGLED JIMMY.
LEONARD (V.0.) *
What have I done? *
171 EXT. DERELICT BUILDING — DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 171
Leonard emerges to find Teddy trying the Jaguar’s doors.
LEONARD
(distraught)
Hey! Mister! I need help!
Teddy looks up.
TEDDY
What’s wrong?
LEONARD
There’s a guy in here, hurt bad! We gotta
get him to a doctor!
Teddy moves towards the house. Leonard leads him in.
MEMENTO Pink Revisions - 9/7/99
109.
172 INT. DERELICT BUILDING – DAY – CONTINUOUS <<COULOUR SEQUENCE>172
Teddy follows Leonard down the darkened hall.
LEONARD
(panicked)
He might have fallen down the stairs, I
don’t know, I don’t know what’s going on,
I’m confused. I have this memory thing –
do I know you?
TEDDY
No. Don’t worry, I’m a cop. Everything’ll
be okay. Is he still breathing?
LEONARD
Maybe. Maybe just.
They go down into the basement.
173 INT. BASEMENT OF DERELICT BUILDING – DAY – CONTINUOUS 173
<<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>
Teddy follows Leonard down the stairs. Jimmy’s body, dressed
only in boxers, lies in the middle of the floor.
TEDDY
So what were you doing here?
Teddy moves to the body and crouches down to examine it.
LEONARD
I don’t know. See, I have this condition.
TEDDY
Well, I hope it’s not as serious as his,
‘cos this guy’s dead.
Leonard CRACKS Teddy over the head with the FLOORBOARD. *
TEDDY (cont’d) *
FUCK, Lenny! That fucking kills!
LEONARD
Remember me again, huh?
Leonard FRISKS him, pulling out a GUN and a POLICE BADGE. *
LEONARD (cont’d) *
You’re a cop. A fucking cop. *
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Yellow Revisions – 9/29/99
109A.
173 CONTINUED: 173
TEDDY *
Yeah, and I helped you find the guy you *
were looking for - *
LEONARD *
Get up. *
Teddy CRAWLS to his feet, RUBBING his head. *
MEMENTO Yellow Revision – 9/29/99
110.
Genres: ["Thriller","Crime","Drama"]

Summary In the depths of a dilapidated building, Leonard's relentless pursuit of vengeance unfolds. He strangles Jimmy, concealing his body and stolen clothes in the basement. As Teddy, a police officer, arrives, Leonard orchestrates a deceptive encounter, leading him to Jimmy's corpse. With ruthless efficiency, Leonard eliminates Teddy, seizing his weapon and badge, leaving him armed and elusive.
Strengths
  • Intense character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
  • Suspenseful plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Potential for graphic violence
  • Complexity of themes may require audience attention

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a strong focus on character development, conflict, and emotional impact. The intense and suspenseful tone keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of memory loss and its impact on Leonard's actions is well-executed, adding depth to the character and driving the plot forward.

Plot: 9

The plot is gripping, with a clear progression of events that heighten tension and reveal important information about the characters. The conflict between Leonard and Jimmy adds layers to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene features a fresh approach to the thriller genre, with its nonlinear structure and complex character dynamics. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with complex motivations and emotions driving their actions. Leonard's internal struggle and Jimmy's desperation create a compelling dynamic.

Character Changes: 8

Leonard undergoes a significant change in the scene, from confusion and desperation to a moment of clarity and determination. His actions reflect his internal turmoil and desire for redemption.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to regain control over his life and memories. He is driven by a deep desire to uncover the truth about his past and make sense of his fragmented memories.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to confront and potentially eliminate a threat. He is faced with a dangerous situation involving another character, Jimmy, and must make decisions to protect himself and potentially uncover important information.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard and Jimmy is intense and drives the scene forward, adding suspense and emotional depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations between the protagonist and Jimmy. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as Leonard grapples with his memory loss and confronts Jimmy in a life-threatening situation. The outcome of their confrontation has significant consequences for the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, revealing key information about Leonard's past and setting up future conflicts and developments. The resolution of the confrontation with Jimmy propels the narrative forward.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the protagonist's actions and decisions. The audience is kept guessing about the outcome of the confrontation with Jimmy.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between the protagonist's need for control and clarity in his life, and the chaotic and unpredictable nature of his circumstances. This conflict challenges his beliefs about truth and identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly fear, anxiety, and empathy for Leonard's internal struggle. The intense moments and character dynamics create a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense and impactful, revealing the characters' emotions and motivations. The confrontational exchanges between Leonard and Jimmy drive the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense action, suspenseful dialogue, and complex character dynamics. The high stakes and unpredictable twists keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and suspenseful moments that keep the story moving forward and maintain the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with effective use of visual cues and transitions to enhance the storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a nonlinear structure that adds to the suspense and mystery of the narrative. It effectively builds tension and reveals key information at strategic moments.


Critique
  • The scene is intense and filled with suspense, which keeps the audience engaged.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Jimmy adds tension and reveals more about their characters.
  • The physical struggle between Leonard and Jimmy adds to the dramatic tension of the scene.
  • The use of flashbacks to Leonard's wife adds emotional depth to the scene.
  • The scene effectively conveys Leonard's desperation to regain control of his life.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue from Leonard to provide insight into his thoughts and emotions.
  • Explore the relationship between Leonard and Jimmy further to add complexity to their interactions.
  • Provide more context or hints about Jimmy's background and his connection to Leonard to deepen the mystery.
  • Consider adding visual cues or symbolism to enhance the themes of memory and identity in the scene.
  • Ensure that the transition between the different sequences is clear and seamless for the audience to follow.



Scene 35 -  The Basement Confrontation
174 INT. DERELICT BUILDING — DAY - CONTINUOUS <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>>174
Leonard pushes Teddy out of the basement.
TEDDY
I think you’ve got the wrong idea -
Leonard GRABS Teddy.
LEONARD
Who was that? He’s not the guy. He knew *
me. *
TEDDY *
Sure he did. He raped your wife and *
fucked up your brain. *
LEONARD *
Bullshit. *
TEDDY
His name’s James F. Grantz, John G. Check *
your tattoos. *
LEONARD
So what was he bringing the two hundred *
grand for? *
TEDDY *
What - *
LEONARD *
What was it for? *
TEDDY
A load of amphetamine I told him I had.
LEONARD
This is a drug deal?!
TEDDY
That, and your thing. *
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO - Green Revisions 10/4/99
111.
174 CONTINUED: 174
TEDDY (cont’d) *
Jimmy’s your guy, Leonard. I just figured *
we’d make some money on the side. *
LEONARD *
But how did he know me? *
TEDDY *
The Discount Inn, he deals out of there. *
The guy at the front desk lets him know
if anybody comes snooping around. He
called Jimmy as soon as you took a
picture of that dump. *
LEONARD
You’re using me!
Teddy looks at him, offended.
TEDDY
No!
(beat)
You get half. *
Leonard THROWS him against the wall.
LEONARD
He knew about Sammy. Why would I tell him
about Sammy? *
TEDDY
(chuckles)
You tell everyone about Sammy. Everyone
who’ll listen. “Remember Sammy Jankis,
remember Sammy Jankis”. Great story. Gets
better every time you tell it. So you
lie to yourself to be happy. Nothing
wrong with that - we all do. Who cares if
there’s a few little things you’d rather
not remember?
LEONARD
What the fuck are you talking about?
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO - Green Revisions 10-4-99
112.
174 CONTINUED: (2) 174
TEDDY
(theatrical shrug)
I dunno... your wife surviving the
assault... her not believing about your
condition... the doubt tearing her up
inside.., the insulin -
LEONARD
That’s Sammy, not me! I told you about
Sammy -
TEDDY
Like you’ve told yourself. Over and over.
Conditioning yourself to believe.
“learning through repetition” -
LEONARD
Sammy let his wife kill herself! Sammy
ended up in an institution - ! *
TEDDY
Sammy was a con man. A faker.
LEONARD
I never said he was faking! I never said
that!
TEDDY
You exposed him for what he was: a fraud.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO - Green Revisions 10-4-99
113.
174 CONTINUED: (3) 174
LEONARD
I was wrong! That’s the whole point!
Sammy’s wife came to me and —
TEDDY
Sammy didn’t have a wife.
Leonard freezes, staring at Teddy.
TEDDY (cont’d)
It was your wife who had diabetes.
Leonard thinks.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Crime"]

Summary Leonard pushes Teddy out of the basement and confronts him about the man he was set up to kill. Teddy reveals that Leonard's memory is faulty and that Leonard is actually responsible for his wife's death. Leonard is shocked and confused by this revelation, leading to a tense and suspenseful scene. The confrontation ends with Leonard left alone in the basement, trying to process the possibility that his memories may be false.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Revealing character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Complexity may be overwhelming for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is intense, suspenseful, and reveals crucial information about the protagonist's backstory, adding layers to the narrative and setting up further conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of memory loss, manipulation, and hidden truths is executed effectively, keeping the audience engaged and intrigued.

Plot: 9

The plot thickens as new revelations come to light, driving the story forward and increasing the stakes for the protagonist.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on memory loss and identity, with complex character dynamics and moral ambiguity. The dialogue feels authentic and compelling.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Leonard and Teddy are well-developed, with complex motivations and conflicting agendas that heighten the tension in the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Leonard experiences a significant shift in his understanding of his past and his own memories, leading to a potential change in his perception of reality.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal is to uncover the truth about his past and his condition. He is struggling with memory loss and trying to piece together his identity.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to find out who is manipulating him and why. He is caught up in a drug deal that he doesn't fully understand.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard and Teddy reaches a boiling point, with high stakes and intense emotions driving the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and hidden agendas creating tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Leonard confronts the truth about his past, leading to life-changing decisions and potentially dangerous consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information, deepening the mystery, and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable due to the shifting dynamics between the characters and the revelation of new information.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the nature of memory and self-deception. Teddy challenges Leonard's beliefs about his past and questions the validity of his memories.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes strong emotions through the revelation of dark truths and the confrontation between the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, revealing, and drives the conflict between Leonard and Teddy, adding depth to their characters and the overall narrative.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense dialogue, moral dilemmas, and psychological depth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing new information at a compelling rate.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a dramatic dialogue-driven scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure with clear character motivations and conflicts. It builds tension effectively.


Critique
  • The scene is intense and filled with revelations that challenge Leonard's understanding of his past and his motivations.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Teddy is crucial in revealing the truth about Leonard's memories and his wife's death.
  • There is a sense of betrayal and manipulation in the scene, as Teddy's true intentions are exposed.
  • The scene effectively builds tension and keeps the audience engaged with the unfolding mystery.
  • The conflict between Leonard and Teddy adds depth to the story and raises questions about Leonard's reliability as a narrator.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues or actions to enhance the intensity of the confrontation between Leonard and Teddy.
  • Explore the emotional impact of the revelations on Leonard's character to deepen the audience's connection with his journey.
  • Provide more context or flashbacks to clarify the relationship between Leonard, Teddy, and the events surrounding his wife's death.
  • Consider incorporating subtle hints or clues throughout the scene to foreshadow the twist in the story and keep the audience guessing.
  • Focus on the internal struggle within Leonard as he grapples with the truth about his past and his own memories.



Scene 36 -  A Question of Reality
175 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 175
Leonard’s Wife sitting on the edge of the bed. She feels a
sharp pain, and turns to Leonard (just as we have seen
before).
LEONARD’S WIFE
Gentle.
Leonard has a syringe in his hand.
176 INT. DERELICT BUILDING - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 176
Leonard shakes his head, clearing his head of the image.
LEONARD
My wife wasn’t diabetic.
TEDDY
Are you sure?
177 INT. LEONARD’S APARTMENT - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 177
Leonard’s Wife on the edge of the bed. She feels a sharp
pain, and turns to Leonard.
LEONARD’S WIFE
Gentle.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO - Green Revisions 10-4-99
114.
177 CONTINUED: 177
Leonard is playfully pinching her thigh.
178 INT. DERELICT BUILDING - DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 178
Leonard shakes his head, smiling.
LEONARD
She wasn’t diabetic. You think I don’t *
know my own wife? What the fuck is wrong *
with you? *
TEDDY
(shrugs)
I guess I can only make you believe the
things you want to be true, huh? Like ol’ *
Jimmy down there.
LEONARD
But he’s not the right guy! *
TEDDY *
He was to you. Come on, Lenny, you got *
your revenge — just enjoy it while you *
still remember. *
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO - Green Revisions 10-4-99
115.
178 CONTINUED: 178
TEDDY
(chuckles)
What difference does it make whether he *
was your guy or not? *
LEONARD
It makes all the difference. *
TEDDY
Why? You’re never going to know. *
LEONARD
Yes, I will.
TEDDY
No, you won’t.
LEONARD
Somehow, I’ll know!
TEDDY
You won’t remember!
LEONARD
When it’s done, I’ll know! It’ll be
different!
TEDDY
I thought so too! I was sure you’d *
remember. But you didn’t. *
Beat. Leonard looks at Teddy, questioning.
TEDDY
(off look)
You know, when we found your guy and *
killed him.
(off look)
That’s right, the real John G. Over a *
year ago. I helped you find him. He’s *
already dead. *
LEONARD
Why do you keep lying to me? *
TEDDY
I’m not. I was the cop assigned to your *
wife’s death. I believed you, I thought *
you deserved the chance for revenge. I
helped you find the other guy who was in
your bathroom that night. The guy who
cracked your skull and fucked your wife. *
We found him and you killed him. *
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO - Green Revisions 10-4-99
115A.
178 CONTINUED: (2) 178
TEDDY (cont’d)
You didn’t remember, so I helped you *
start looking again, looking for the guy *
you already killed.
LEONARD
So who are you saying he was? *
TEDDY
Just some guy. Does it even matter who? I
stopped asking myself why a long time
ago. No reason, no conspiracy; just bad
fucking luck. A couple of junkies, too *
strung out to realize that your wife
didn’t live alone. When you killed him, *
I’ve never seen you so happy — I was
convinced you’d remember. But it didn’t
stick, like nothing ever sticks. Like
this won’t stick.
Leonard looks at the Polaroid of himself.
TEDDY (cont’d)
That’s the picture, right? I took that,
right when you did it. Look how happy you *
are. Before you forgot. I wanted to see *
that face again.
LEONARD *
(sarcastic) *
Thank you. *
TEDDY
Fuck you; I gave you a reason to live and *
you were more than happy to help. You lie *
to yourself! You don’t want the truth, *
the truth is a fucking coward. So you *
make up your own truth. *
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO - Green Revisions 10-4-99
116.
178 CONTINUED: (3) 178
TEDDY (cont’d) *
Look at your police file. It was complete *
when I gave it to you. Who took the 12 *
pages out? *
LEONARD
You probably. *
TEDDY
No. You took them out. *
LEONARD
Why would I do that? *
TEDDY
To set yourself a puzzle you won’t ever
solve. You know how many towns, how many *
guys called James G? Or John G? Shit,
Leonard, I’m a John G.
LEONARD
Your name’s Teddy.
TEDDY
(chuckles)
My mother calls me Teddy. I’m John Edward
Gammell. Cheer up, there’s a lot of John *
G’s for us to find. All you do is moan. *
I’m the one that has to live with what *
you’ve done. I’m the one that has to put *
it all together. You just wander around *
playing detective. You’re living a dream, *
kid. A dead wife to pine for and a sense *
of purpose to your life. A romantic quest *
which you wouldn’t end even if I wasn’t *
in the picture. *
Leonard sticks the gun in Teddy’s face. *
LEONARD
I should kill you. *
TEDDY
Quit it! *
(brushes the gun away) *
You’re not a killer, Lenny. That’s why *
you’re so good at it. *
Leonard SEARCHES Teddy’s pockets, still holding the gun on *
Teddy. Leonard finds Teddy’s CAR KEYS. He gets off Teddy and *
moves towards the light. *
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO - Green Revisions 10-4-99
116A.
178 CONTINUED: (4) 178
TEDDY (cont’d)
Hey, where are you going? You know what *
time it is? *
Leonard stares at Teddy, mystified. Teddy grins. *
TEDDY (cont’d)
It’s beer o’clock. And I’m buying. Our
work here is done.
Leonard turns away, and walks out into the light.
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Amidst haunting flashbacks, Leonard grapples with a shocking revelation: he may have already avenged his wife's death. As Teddy, the enigmatic stranger, manipulates the narrative, Leonard finds himself on a desperate quest to uncover the truth, questioning what he remembers and what is real.
Strengths
  • Revealing character dynamics
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Complex narrative may require close attention to follow

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is intense, emotionally charged, and pivotal in unraveling the mystery of the protagonist's past. It keeps the audience engaged with its revelations and conflicts.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of memory loss, revenge, and self-deception is executed effectively, drawing the audience into the protagonist's struggle to uncover the truth amidst conflicting narratives.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly as key revelations are made about the protagonist's past and his actions. The conflict between truth and deception drives the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh twists on familiar themes of memory loss and revenge, with unexpected revelations and moral dilemmas. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and unpredictable.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Leonard and Teddy, are complex and intriguing. Their conflicting perspectives and motivations add depth to the scene and drive the emotional impact.

Character Changes: 8

Leonard undergoes a significant revelation about his past and his actions, leading to a shift in his understanding of himself and his motivations.

Internal Goal: 9

Leonard's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about his wife's death and his own memory loss. This reflects his deeper need for closure, his fear of not knowing the truth, and his desire for justice.

External Goal: 8

Leonard's external goal is to confront Teddy and find out the truth about his past actions and identity. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with deception and manipulation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Leonard and Teddy, as well as the internal conflict within Leonard, is intense and drives the emotional and narrative tension of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals, hidden agendas, and moral dilemmas that create tension and uncertainty about the characters' motivations.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Leonard grapples with the truth about his past and his actions. The consequences of his choices and the impact on his identity are significant.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about the protagonist's past and motivations. It sets the stage for further developments and conflicts.

Unpredictability: 9

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations, shifting power dynamics, and moral ambiguity that challenge the audience's expectations.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of truth, memory, and self-deception. Leonard and Teddy have conflicting beliefs about the importance of knowing the truth and the role of memory in shaping identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from shock and confusion to anger and sadness. The revelations and confrontations between characters heighten the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, revealing, and drives the conflict between Leonard and Teddy. It effectively conveys the tension and emotional turmoil of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense conflict, emotional stakes, and unpredictable twists that keep the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments, character interactions, and dramatic reveals that maintain the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with effective use of scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure that enhances the suspense and mystery, fitting the genre of psychological thriller.


Critique
  • The scene is emotionally charged and intense, which is effective in conveying the conflict between Leonard and Teddy.
  • The dialogue between Leonard and Teddy reveals important information about Leonard's past and his actions, adding depth to the story.
  • The revelation that Leonard has already found and killed the person responsible for his wife's death is a major plot twist that adds complexity to the narrative.
  • The scene effectively explores themes of memory, truth, and self-deception, adding layers to Leonard's character.
  • The interaction between Leonard and Teddy is engaging and keeps the audience invested in the story.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual cues or actions to enhance the tension and drama of the scene.
  • Explore the emotional impact of Leonard's realization that he may have killed the wrong person in more depth.
  • Provide more context or backstory to further explain Teddy's motivations and actions.
  • Consider incorporating flashbacks or visual cues to help the audience understand Leonard's fragmented memories and conflicting truths.
  • Work on tightening the dialogue to make it more impactful and concise.



Scene 37 -  Escape from the Parking Lot
179 EXT. DERELICT BUILDING - DAY - CONTINUOUS <<COLOUR SEOUENCE>>179
Leonard, in BEIGE SUIT and BLUE SHIRT, comes out into the
daylight, THROWS Teddy’s CAR KEYS into some bushes then heads
to his PICKUP TRUCK and climbs in. Teddy goes to look for his
keys in the bushes.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO - Green Revisions 10-4-99
117.
180 INT. PICKUP TRUCK - DAY - CONTINUOUS <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 180
Leonard opens the revolver and empties the bullets onto the
passenger seat. He flips through the photos until he finds
the one of the STRANGLED JIMMY.
LEONARD (V.0.)
I’m not a killer...
Leonard reaches into his sports bag, grabs a LIGHTER and
sparks a flame. Leonard holds the PHOTO in the flame until it
CATCHES LIGHT, MELTING and BLACKENING. The flames go out,
having destroyed the entire image but for an arm resting on a
floor. Leonard sticks the remnants into his jacket pocket. He
looks in the rear-view mirror at Teddy, who scrabbles around
in the bushes.
LEONARD (V.0.) (CON’T’D)
... but right now I need to be.
Teddy’s GREY SEDAN is parked in front of Leonard. Leonard
looks at the sedan, then reaches into his sports bag for a
PEN and a FILE CARD. He writes on the file card:
“TATTOO: I’VE DONE IT”
Leonard looks from the card to Teddy’s sedan.
LEONARD (V.O.)(cont’d)
Maybe I’m not finished yet. Maybe I need
to be sure that you won’t ever use me
again.
Leonard rips up the file card and takes out another.
LEONARD (V.0.) (cont’d)
You’re a John G.? Fine, then you can be
my John G.
Leonard writes on the file card:
“TATTOO: FACT 6. CAR LICENSE NUMBER”
LEONARD (V.O.)(cont’d)
Do I lie to myself to be happy?
Leonard looks up at Teddy’s sedan and copies down the license
number. The LICENSE NUMBER of Teddy’s car is: SG13 7IU.
LEONARD (V.O.)(cont’d)
In your case, Teddy... yes, I will.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO - Green Revisions 10-4-99
117A.
180 CONTINUED: 180
Leonard grabs the sports bag and GETS OUT of the PICKUP
TRUCK. He goes to THE JAGUAR and OPENS the passenger door,
DUMPING his sports bag onto the seat. Teddy SEES this and
RUNS over. Leonard walks to the back of the Jaguar and holds
up his camera.
TEDDY
Hey! Hey, that’s not your car!
Leonard SNAPS a Polaroid of the Jaguar.
LEONARD
It is now.
TEDDY
You can’t just take it!
Leonard UNLOCKS the trunk, TURNING to Teddy as he does so.
LEONARD
Why not?
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Yellow Revisions – 9/29/99
118.
180 CONTINUED: 180
TEDDY
You just killed the guy who owned it!
Somebody’ll recognize it!
Leonard pulls Teddy’s EMPTY gun out of his pocket.
LEONARD
I’d rather be mistaken for a dead guy
than a murderer. I’m gonna hang on to
this.
Leonard TOSSES the GUN into the trunk. It lands on PILES OF
BANKNOTES STUFFED IN THE TRUNK. Teddy REACTS to the sight of
the money. Leonard glances at Teddy, then the money, shakes
his head, then SLAMS the trunk. Teddy jogs back to where he
was looking for his keys.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Crime"]

Summary Leonard eliminates evidence, crafts false memories, and assumes a new identity by claiming ownership of a stolen car, outsmarting a pursuer and leaving the scene in the stolen vehicle.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Revealing dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Plot twists
Weaknesses
  • Complexity may be overwhelming for some viewers
  • Violent content may be disturbing to some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is gripping, intense, and full of suspense, with a major plot twist that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats. The emotional impact is high, and the conflict reaches a climax, leading to significant character development.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of memory loss, betrayal, and self-deception is executed effectively, creating a compelling narrative that challenges the audience's perception of reality. The scene delves deep into Leonard's psyche and explores the consequences of his actions.

Plot: 9

The plot is intricate and engaging, with multiple layers of deception, revelation, and moral ambiguity. The scene advances the story significantly, revealing crucial information about Leonard's past and setting the stage for the resolution of the central mystery.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the theme of memory loss and identity, with a focus on moral ambiguity and self-deception. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and compelling, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Leonard and Teddy are well-developed and complex, with conflicting motivations and hidden agendas. Their interactions drive the tension and drama of the scene, showcasing their evolving relationship and the depths of their deception.

Character Changes: 8

Both Leonard and Teddy undergo significant changes in the scene, with Leonard confronting his past and facing the truth about his actions, while Teddy reveals his true intentions and manipulative nature. Their dynamic evolves, leading to a dramatic shift in their relationship.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect himself and ensure his own safety in a dangerous situation. This reflects his deeper need for control and security, as well as his fear of being manipulated or used by others.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to assert his dominance and control over the situation by taking possession of the Jaguar. This reflects the immediate challenge of asserting his power and authority in a tense confrontation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, with emotional, moral, and physical confrontations driving the narrative forward. The stakes are high, and the resolution of the conflict has far-reaching consequences for the characters involved.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and moral dilemmas driving the conflict. The audience is left uncertain of the outcome, adding to the suspense and drama.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are incredibly high, with life-and-death consequences for the characters involved. The tension is palpable, and the risks are significant, adding urgency and suspense to the confrontations and revelations.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by revealing crucial information, resolving long-standing mysteries, and setting the stage for the final act of the narrative. It clarifies the central conflict and raises the stakes for the characters, driving the plot towards its resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the protagonist's unexpected actions and moral dilemmas. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's moral ambiguity and willingness to deceive himself and others for his own benefit. This challenges his beliefs about honesty and integrity, as well as his sense of identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of fear, shock, and suspense, keeping the audience emotionally engaged and invested in the characters' fates. The revelations and betrayals heighten the emotional impact, leading to a powerful climax.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and reveals crucial information about the characters' motivations and inner conflicts. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the emotional resonance of the confrontations between Leonard and Teddy.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense conflict, sharp dialogue, and moral ambiguity. The tension and suspense keep the audience invested in the protagonist's choices and actions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the protagonist's choices and actions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and action descriptions. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness, building tension and suspense.


Critique
  • The scene starts off with Leonard disposing of Teddy's car keys and emptying the bullets from his revolver, setting a tone of preparation for violence. This action is a strong visual cue that Leonard is gearing up for something drastic.
  • The burning of the photo of the strangled Jimmy is a powerful moment that symbolizes Leonard's inner conflict and desperation. The imagery of destroying the photo except for an arm is a clever way to remind Leonard of his actions without fully confronting the reality.
  • Leonard's internal monologue about not being a killer but needing to be one in the moment adds depth to his character and showcases his internal struggle.
  • The writing on the file card and the decision to make Teddy his 'John G.' is a pivotal moment that shows Leonard taking control of the situation and asserting his agency.
  • The confrontation between Leonard and Teddy over the ownership of the car is tense and gripping, with Leonard making a bold decision to take the car as his own. The reveal of the gun and the money in the trunk adds layers to the scene and raises the stakes.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more dialogue between Leonard and Teddy to further explore their dynamic and the tension between them.
  • Enhance the visual elements of the scene to emphasize Leonard's internal struggle and the high stakes of the confrontation.
  • Provide more insight into Leonard's thought process and emotions during the scene to deepen the audience's connection to his character.
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection for Leonard after the confrontation with Teddy to show the impact of his decisions and the weight of his actions.
  • Explore the aftermath of Leonard's bold choices in the scene to set up further developments in the story and character arcs.



Scene 38 -  Leonard's Introspection
181 INT. JAGUAR – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 181
Leonard starts the engine. Through the rear-view mirror,
Leonard stares at Teddy’s retreating form. Thinking. Leonard
PULLS OUT onto the road.
182 INT./EXT. THE ROAD BACK INTO TOWN – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 182
As the Jaguar cruises along, Leonard places the FILE CARD on
the dash. It says:
“TATTOO: FACT 6. CAR LICENSE: SG13 7IU”
*
Leonard drives, HEADING BACK INTO TOWN. He looks at his hand
on the steering wheel, reading “REMEMBER SAMMY JANKIS”.
LEONARD (V.O.)
I have to believe in the world outside my
own mind. I have to believe that my
actions still have meaning, even if I
can’t remember them. I have to believe
that when my eyes are closed, the world’s
still there.
Leonard CLOSES HIS EYES, driving blind. Stay on Leonard, not
seeing the road ahead, hearing cars whip past.
LEONARD (V.O.) (cont’d)
(rising tension)
But do I? Do I believe the world’s still
there?
Move in on Leonard as cars fly past, horns BLARING.
(CONTINUED)
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/9

119.
182 CONTINUED: 182
LEONARD (V.O.) (cont’d)
Is it still out there?!
(beat)
Yes.
Leonard OPENS his eyes, straightening up the car, BREATHING.
His EYES DART from the STRIP MALLS to the GAS STATIONS, as if
HE IS TRYING TO ABSORB THE WHOLE TOWN IN A SINGLE VIEWING.
LEONARD (V.O.) (cont’d)
We all need mirrors to remind ourselves
who we are. I’m no different.


183 EXT. STRIP MALL – DAY <<COLOUR SEQUENCE>> 183
*
From the bewildering BLUR of urban signage, Leonard SUDDENLY
GLIMPSES A TATTOO PARLOR in a strip mall. He SLAMS ON THE
BRAKES.
The tyres SCREAM as the car SCREECHES TO A HALT and we:
CUT TO BLACK.
LEONARD (V.O.) (cont’d)
Now... where was I?
ROLL CREDITS
END.
MEMENTO Blue Revisions – 8/27/99
The following is Jonathan Nolan’s short story, “Memento Mori”, the inspiration for his brother,
Christopher Nolan’s, screenplay for the film, MEMENTO:


MEMENTO MORI

by

Jonathan Nolan


What like a bullet can undeceive!"
—Herman Melville

Your wife always used to say you'd be late for your own funeral.
Remember that? Her little joke because you were such a slob—always
late, always forgetting stuff, even before the incident.

Right about now you're probably wondering if you were late for hers.

You were there, you can be sure of that. That's what the picture's for—
the one tacked to the wall by the door. It's not customary to take
pictures at a funeral, but somebody, your doctors, I guess, knew you
wouldn't remember. They had it blown up nice and big and stuck it right
there, next to the door, so you couldn't help but see it every time you
got up to find out where she was.

The guy in the picture, the one with the flowers? That's you. And what
are you doing? You're reading the headstone, trying to figure out who's
funeral you're at, same as you're reading it now, trying to figure why
someone stuck that picture next to your door. But why bother reading
something that you won't remember?

She's gone, gone for good, and you must be hurting right now, hearing
the news. Believe me, I know how you feel. You're probably a wreck. But
give it five minutes, maybe ten. Maybe you can even go a whole half
hour before you forget.

But you will forget—I guarantee it. A few more minutes and you'll be
heading for the door, looking for her all over again, breaking down
when you find the picture. How many times do you have to hear the news
before some other part of your body, other than that busted brain of
yours, starts to remember?
Never-ending grief, never-ending anger. Useless without direction.
Maybe you can't understand what's happened. Can't say I really
understand, either. Backwards amnesia. That's what the sign says. CRS
disease. Your guess is as good as mine.

Maybe you can't understand what happened to you. But you do remember
what happened to HER, don't you? The doctors don't want to talk about
it. They won't answer my questions. They don't think it's right for a
man in your condition to hear about those things. But you remember
enough, don't you? You remember his face.

This is why I'm writing to you. Futile, maybe. I don't know how many
times you'll have to read this before you listen to me. I don't even
know how long you've been locked up in this room already. Neither do
you. But your advantage in forgetting is that you'll forget to write
yourself off as a lost cause.

Sooner or later you'll want to do something about it. And when you do,
you'll just have to trust me, because I'm the only one who can help
you.

______________________________

EARL OPENS ONE EYE after another to a stretch of white ceiling tiles
interrupted by a hand-printed sign taped right above his head, large
enough for him to read from the bed. An alarm clock is ringing
somewhere. He reads the sign, blinks,reads it again, then takes a look
at the room.

It's a white room, overwhelmingly white, from the walls and the
curtains to the institutional furniture and the bedspread. The alarm
clock is ringing from the white desk under the window with the white
curtains. At this point Earl probably notices that he is lying on top
of his white comforter. He is already wearing a dressing gown and
slippers.

He lies back and reads the sign taped to the ceiling again. It says, in
crude block capitals, THIS IS YOUR ROOM. THIS IS A ROOM IN A HOSPITAL.
THIS IS WHERE YOU LIVE NOW.

Earl rises and takes a look around. The room is large for a hospital—
empty linoleum stretches out from the bed in three directions. Two
doors and a window. The view isn't very helpful, either—a close of
trees in the center of a carefully manicured piece of turf that
terminates in a sliver of two-lane blacktop. The trees, except for the
evergreens, are bare—early spring or late fall, one or the other.

Every inch of the desk is covered with Post-it notes, legal pads,
neatly printed lists, psychological textbooks, framed pictures. On top
of the mess is a half-completed crossword puzzle. The alarm clock is
riding a pile of folded newspapers. Earl slaps the snooze button and
takes a cigarette from the pack taped to the sleeve of his dressing
gown. He pats the empty pockets of his pajamas for a light. He rifles
the papers on the desk, looks quickly through the drawers. Eventually
he finds a box of kitchen matches taped to the wall next to the window.
Another sign is taped just above the box. It says in loud yellow
letters, CIGARETTE? CHECK FOR LIT ONES FIRST, STUPID.

Earl laughs at the sign, lights his cigarette, and takes a long draw.
Taped to the window in front of him is another piece of looseleaf paper
headed YOUR SCHEDULE.

It charts off the hours, every hour, in blocks: 10:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.
is labeled go BACK TO SLEEP. Earl consults the alarm clock: 8:15. Given
the light outside, it must be morning. He checks his watch: 10:30. He
presses the watch to his ear and listens. He gives the watch a wind or
two and sets it to match the alarm clock.

According to the schedule, the entire block from 8:00 to 8:30 has been
labeled BRUSH YOUR TEETH. Earl laughs again and walks over to the
bathroom.

The bathroom window is open. As he flaps his arms to keep warm, he
notices the ashtray on the windowsill. A cigarette is perched on the
ashtray, burning steadily through a long finger of ash. He frowns,
extinguishes the old butt, and replaces it with the new one.
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Leonard drives aimlessly, contemplating life's complexities and his amnesia. His blind driving leads him to a strip mall where a tattoo parlor sparks his interest, prompting him to investigate.
Strengths
  • Engaging plot
  • Emotional depth
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • Revealing character development
Weaknesses
  • Complexity may be confusing for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, emotionally impactful, and reveals crucial information about the protagonist's past. The suspense and confusion keep the audience hooked.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of short-term memory loss and the protagonist's journey to uncover the truth about his wife's death is intriguing and well-executed.

Plot: 9

The plot is complex, filled with twists and revelations. It keeps the audience guessing and invested in the protagonist's journey.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to storytelling through its nonlinear structure, introspective voiceovers, and philosophical themes. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, especially the protagonist who is struggling with memory loss. The emotional depth of the characters adds to the overall impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The protagonist undergoes significant emotional and psychological changes as he uncovers the truth about his past. This adds depth to his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

Leonard's internal goal is to grapple with his belief in the existence of the external world and the meaning of his actions, despite his memory loss. This reflects his deeper need for validation and purpose.

External Goal: 7

Leonard's external goal is to find clues about his past and solve the mystery of his wife's death. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in uncovering the truth.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

There is a high level of internal and external conflict in the scene, especially as the protagonist grapples with his past and the shocking revelations.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Leonard facing internal and external challenges that create conflict and drive the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the protagonist confronts the truth about his wife's death and his own actions. The consequences of his discoveries are significant.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly by revealing crucial information about the protagonist's past and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in Leonard's actions and the blurred lines between reality and memory.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of reality and memory. Leonard's struggle to believe in the external world despite his memory loss challenges his beliefs and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, particularly sadness, anxiety, and shock. The protagonist's journey is emotionally compelling.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and the plot.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its tense atmosphere, mysterious elements, and the protagonist's internal struggles that draw the audience in.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and moving the story forward at a steady pace.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, action lines, and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear scene transitions, character actions, and dialogue that drive the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clarity in terms of Leonard's motivations and emotions. It is unclear why he is contemplating the meaning of his actions and the nature of reality while driving.
  • The transition from Leonard driving blindly with his eyes closed to suddenly opening them and straightening up the car is abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The dialogue in Leonard's voiceover feels a bit forced and could be more natural and reflective of his internal struggles.
  • The visual descriptions could be more vivid and engaging to enhance the tension and suspense of the scene.
  • The ending of the scene, with Leonard abruptly stopping at a tattoo parlor, feels rushed and disconnected from the rest of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Provide more context for Leonard's internal conflict and emotional state while driving, to make his contemplation more relatable and impactful.
  • Consider a more gradual transition from Leonard driving blindly to opening his eyes, to create a smoother flow in the scene.
  • Refine the voiceover dialogue to be more introspective and authentic to Leonard's character.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and suspenseful atmosphere in the scene.
  • Reconsider the ending of the scene to ensure it flows logically from Leonard's contemplation and adds to the overall narrative tension.



Scene 39 -  Earl's Morning Reflections
The toothbrush has already been treated to a smudge of white paste. The
tap is of the push-button variety—a dose of water with each nudge. Earl
pushes the brush into his cheek and fiddles it back and forth while he
opens the medicine cabinet. The shelves are stocked with single-serving
packages of vitamins, aspirin, antidiuretics. The mouthwash is also
single-serving, about a shot-glass-worth of blue liquid in a sealed
plastic bottle. Only the toothpaste is regular-sized. Earl spits the
paste out of his mouth and replaces it with the mouthwash. As he lays
the toothbrush next to the toothpaste, he notices a tiny wedge of paper
pinched between the glass shelf and the steel backing of the medicine
cabinet. He spits the frothy blue fluid into the sink and nudges for
some more water to rinse it down. He closes the medicine cabinet and
smiles at his reflection in the mirror.
"Who needs half an hour to brush their teeth?"

The paper has been folded down to a minuscule size with all the
precision of a sixth-grader's love note. Earl unfolds it and smooths it
against the mirror. It reads—

IF YOU CAN STILL READ THIS, THEN YOU'RE A FUCKING COWARD.

Earl stares blankly at the paper, then reads it again. He turns it
over. On the back it reads—

P.S.: AFTER YOU'VE READ THIS, HIDE IT AGAIN.

Earl reads both sides again, then folds the note back down to its
original size and tucks it underneath the toothpaste.

Maybe then he notices the scar. It begins just beneath the ear, jagged
and thick, and disappears abruptly into his hairline. Earl turns his
head and stares out of the corner of his eye to follow the scar's
progress. He traces it with a fingertip, then looks back down at the
cigarette burning in the ashtray. A thought seizes him and he spins out
of the bathroom.

He is caught at the door to his room, one hand on the knob. Two
pictures are taped to the wall by the door. Earl's attention is caught
first by the MRI, a shiny black frame for four windows into someone's
skull. In marker, the picture is labeled YOUR BRAIN. Earl stares at it.
Concentric circles in different colors. He can make out the big orbs of
his eyes and, behind these, the twin lobes of his brain. Smooth
wrinkles, circles, semicircles. But right there in the middle of his
head, circled in marker, tunneled in from the back of his neck like a
maggot into an apricot, is something different. Deformed, broken, but
unmistakable. A dark smudge, the shape of a flower, right there in the
middle of his brain.

He bends to look at the other picture. It is a photograph of a man
holding flowers, standing over a fresh grave. The man is bent over,
reading the headstone. For a moment this looks like a hall of mirrors
or the beginnings of a sketch of infinity: the one man bent over,
looking at the smaller man, bent over, reading the headstone. Earl
looks at the picture for a long time. Maybe he begins to cry. Maybe he
just stares silently at the picture. Eventually, he makes his way back
to the bed, flops down, seals his eyes shut, tries to sleep.
The cigarette burns steadily away in the bathroom. A circuit in the
alarm clock counts down from ten, and it starts ringing again.

Earl opens one eye after another to a stretch of white ceiling tiles,
interrupted by a hand-printed sign taped right above his head, large
enough for him to read from the bed.

______________________________

You can't have a normal life anymore. You must know that. How can you
have a girlfriend if you can't remember her name? Can't have kids, not
unless you want them to grow up with a dad who doesn't recognize them.
Sure as hell can't hold down a job. Not too many professions out there
that value forgetfulness. Prostitution, maybe. Politics, of course.

No. Your life is over. You're a dead man.The only thing the doctors are
hoping to do is teach you to be less of a burden to the orderlies. And
they'll probably never let you go home, wherever that would be.

So the question is not "to be or not to be," because you aren't. The
question is whether you want to do something about it. Whether revenge
matters to you.

It does to most people. For a few weeks, they plot, they scheme, they
take measures to get even. But the passage of time is all it takes to
erode that initial impulse. Time is theft, isn't that what they say?
And time eventually convinces most of us that forgiveness is a virtue.
Conveniently, cowardice and forgiveness look identical at a certain
distance. Time steals your nerve.

If time and fear aren't enough to dissuade people from their revenge,
then there's always authority, softly shaking its head and saying, We
understand, but you're the better man for letting it go. For rising
above it. For not sinking to their level. And besides, says authority,
if you try anything stupid, we'll lock you up in a little room.

But they already put you in a little room, didn't they? Only they don't
really lock it or even guard it too carefully because you're a cripple.
A corpse. A vegetable who probably wouldn't remember to eat or take a
shit if someone wasn't there to remind you.
And as for the passage of time, well, that doesn't really apply to you
anymore, does it? Just the same ten minutes, over and over again. So
how can you forgive if you can't remember to forget?

You probably were the type to let it go, weren't you? Before. But
you're not the man you used to be. Not even half. You're a fraction;
you're the ten-minute man.

Of course, weakness is strong. It's the primary impulse. You'd probably
prefer to sit in your little room and cry. Live in your finite
collection of memories, carefully polishing each one. Half a life set
behind glass and pinned to cardboard like a collection of exotic
insects. You'd like to live behind that glass, wouldn't you? Preserved
in aspic.

You'd like to but you can't, can you? You can't because of the last
addition to your collection. The last thing you remember. His face. His
face and your wife, looking to you for help.

And maybe this is where you can retire to when it's over. Your little
collection. They can lock you back up in another little room and you
can live the rest of your life in the past. But only if you've got a
little piece of paper in your hand that says you got him.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Earl discovers a note accusing him of cowardice and notices a scar on his head. He examines pictures of a brain abnormality and a grave, contemplating his past and future. A handwritten note urging him to seek revenge adds to his turmoil.
Strengths
  • Complex characters
  • Intriguing plot twists
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be confusing for the audience

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, filled with tension, emotion, and mystery. It keeps the audience on the edge of their seats and raises questions that demand answers.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of memory loss, revenge, and inner conflict is executed brilliantly in this scene. It delves deep into the psychological aspects of the character's struggles.

Plot: 8

The plot is intricate and well-developed, with layers of mystery and suspense. It keeps the audience guessing and wanting to know more.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the theme of memory loss and revenge, with unique character dynamics and emotional depth. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are complex and compelling, especially the protagonist who is dealing with memory loss and a quest for revenge. Their emotions and motivations are well portrayed.

Character Changes: 8

The protagonist undergoes a significant emotional journey in this scene, grappling with his past and his quest for revenge.

Internal Goal: 8

Earl's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his past and his current state of being. The note he finds challenges his sense of identity and forces him to confront his own memories and emotions.

External Goal: 7

Earl's external goal in this scene is to potentially seek revenge for whatever has happened to him in the past. The note he finds hints at a desire for revenge, but also raises questions about his ability to act on it.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, with internal and external conflicts driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Earl facing internal and external conflicts that challenge his beliefs and values. The audience is left wondering how he will navigate these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with the protagonist facing the truth about his past and the consequences of his actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, revealing key information about the protagonist's past and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in Earl's internal monologue and the revelation of his past. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is between the concepts of forgiveness and revenge. Earl is faced with the choice of whether to seek revenge for his past or to let go of his anger and move on.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, from fear and confusion to sadness and a sense of impending revenge.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing important information about the characters and driving the plot forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, complex character dynamics, and thought-provoking dialogue. The reader is drawn into Earl's internal struggles and moral dilemmas.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is deliberate and contemplative, allowing for moments of introspection and emotional resonance. It effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the reader engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is unconventional, with detailed descriptions and internal monologues that enhance the emotional impact of the story. It effectively conveys the protagonist's state of mind.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows a non-linear narrative, with flashbacks and introspective moments that add depth to the story. It deviates from the expected format for its genre, but effectively conveys the protagonist's internal struggles.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a mundane activity of brushing teeth, which doesn't seem to have a clear connection to the rest of the scene.
  • The note found in the medicine cabinet is intriguing but the message on it could be more impactful and relevant to the overall story.
  • The sudden shift to noticing a scar and then looking at pictures on the wall feels disjointed and lacks a smooth transition.
  • The internal monologue about revenge, forgiveness, and the passage of time is lengthy and slows down the pacing of the scene.
  • The scene lacks a clear resolution or direction, leaving the reader hanging without a sense of closure or progression.
Suggestions
  • Consider starting the scene with a more relevant and engaging action that ties directly to the main plot.
  • Revise the message on the note to be more impactful and directly related to Earl's journey and motivations.
  • Ensure a smoother transition between different elements in the scene to maintain coherence and flow.
  • Shorten the internal monologue to keep the pacing of the scene moving and maintain reader engagement.
  • Provide a clearer resolution or direction at the end of the scene to give the reader a sense of closure or progression.



Scene 40 -  Awakening in Mystery
You know I'm right. You know there's a lot of work to do. It may seem
impossible, but I'm sure if we all do our part, we'll figure something
out. But you don't have much time. You've only got about ten minutes,
in fact. Then it starts all over again. So do something with the time
you've got.

______________________________

EARL OPENS HIS EYES and blinks into the darkness. The alarm clock is
ringing. It says 3:20, and the moonlight streaming through the window
means it must be he early morning. Earl fumbles for the lamp, almost
knocking it over in the process. Incandescent light fills the room,
painting the metal furniture yellow, the walls yellow, the bedspread,
too. He lies back and looks up at the stretch of yellow ceiling tiles
above him, interrupted by a handwritten sign taped to the ceiling. He
reads the sign two, maybe three times, then blinks at the room around
him.
It is a bare room. Institutional, maybe. There is a desk over by the
window. The desk is bare except for the blaring alarm clock. Earl
probably notices, at this point, that he is fully clothed. He even has
his shoes on under the sheets. He extracts himself from the bed and
crosses to the desk. Nothing in the room would suggest that anyone
lived there, or ever had, except for the odd scrap of tape stuck here
and there to the wall. No pictures, no books, nothing. Through the
window, he can see a full moon shining on carefully manicured grass.

Earl slaps the snooze button on the alarm clock and stares a moment at
the two keys taped to the back of his hand. He picks at the tape while
he searches through the empty drawers. In the left pocket of his
jacket, he finds a roll of hundred-dollar bills and a letter sealed in
an envelope. He checks the rest of the main room and the bathroom. Bits
of tape, cigarette butts. Nothing else.

Earl absentmindedly plays with the lump of scar tissue on his neck and
moves back toward the bed. He lies back down and stares up at the
ceiling and the sign taped to it. The sign reads, GET UP, GET OUT RIGHT
NOW. THESE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU.

Earl closes his eyes.

_____________________________

They tried to teach you to make lists in grade school, remember? Back
when your day planner was the back of your hand. And if your
assignments came off in the shower, well, then they didn't get done. No
direction, they said. No discipline. So they tried to get you to write
it all down somewhere more permanent.

Of course, your grade-school teachers would be laughing their pants wet
if they could see you now. Because you've become the exact product of
their organizational lessons. Because you can't even take a piss
without consulting one of your lists.

They were right. Lists are the only way out of this mess.

Here's the truth: People, even regular people, are never just any one
person with one set of attributes. It's not that simple. We're all at
the mercy of the limbic system, clouds of electricity drifting through
the brain. Every man is broken into twenty-four-hour fractions, and
then again within those twenty-four hours. It's a daily pantomime, one
man yielding control to the next: a backstage crowded with old hacks
clamoring for their turn in the spotlight. Every week, every day. The
angry man hands the baton over to the sulking man, and in turn to the
sex addict, the introvert, the conversationalist. Every man is a mob, a
chain gang of idiots.

This is the tragedy of life. Because for a few minutes of every day,
every man becomes a genius. Moments of clarity, insight, whatever you
want to call them. The clouds part, the planets get in a neat little
line, and everything becomes obvious. I should quit smoking, maybe, or
here's how I could make a fast million, or such and such is the key to
eternal happiness. That's the miserable truth. For a few moments, the
secrets of the universe are opened to us. Life is a cheap parlor trick.

But then the genius, the savant, has to hand over the controls to the
next guy down the pike, most likely the guy who just wants to eat
potato chips, and insight and brilliance and salvation are all
entrusted to a moron or a hedonist or a narcoleptic.

The only way out of this mess, of course, is to take steps to ensure
that you control the idiots that you become. To take your chain gang,
hand in hand, and lead them. The best way to do this is with a list.

It's like a letter you write to yourself. A master plan, drafted by the
guy who can see the light, made with steps simple enough for the rest
of the idiots to understand. Follow steps one through one hundred.
Repeat as necessary.

Your problem is a little more acute, maybe, but fundamentally the same
thing.

It's like that computer thing, the Chinese room. You remember that? One
guy sits in a little room, laying down cards with letters written on
them in a language he doesn't understand, laying them down one letter
at a time in a sequence according to someone else's instructions. The
cards are supposed to spell out a joke in Chinese. The guy doesn't
speak Chinese, of course. He just follows his instructions.

There are some obvious differences in your situation, of course: You
broke out of the room they had you in, so the whole enterprise has to
be portable. And the guy giving the instructions—that's you, too, just
an earlier version of you. And the joke you're telling, well, it's got
a punch line. I just don't think anyone's going to find it very funny.
So that's the idea. All you have to do is follow your instructions.
Like climbing a ladder or descending a staircase. One step at a time.
Right down the list. Simple.

And the secret, of course, to any list is to keep it in a place where
you're bound to see it.

______________________________

HE CAN HEAR THE BUZZING through his eyelids. Insistent. He reaches out
for the alarm clock, but he can't move his arm.

Earl opens his eyes to see a large man bent double over him. The man
looks up at him, annoyed, then resumes his work. Earl looks around him.
Too dark for a doctor's office.

Then the pain floods his brain, blocking out the other questions. He
squirms gain, trying to yank his forearm away, the one that feels like
it's burning. The arm doesn't move, but the man shoots him another
scowl. Earl adjusts himself in the chair to see over the top of the
man's head.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Earl awakens in a desolate room, discovering money, a letter, and keys taped to his hand. As he ponders controlling his own being, a towering figure appears, inflicting agony upon him. The scene concludes with Earl writhing in pain, his fate uncertain.
Strengths
  • Intriguing concept
  • Complex characters
  • Emotional depth
  • Suspenseful tone
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be confusing for the audience

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, with a mix of suspenseful elements, emotional depth, and thought-provoking themes. It keeps the audience on edge and raises questions about the protagonist's past and motivations.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using lists to control one's actions and navigate through memory loss is innovative and central to the scene. It adds depth to the protagonist's character and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 8

The plot is intricate and layered, with multiple threads converging to reveal more about the protagonist's past and current predicament. It keeps the audience guessing and sets up future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique blend of mystery, existential reflection, and physical danger, creating an original and engaging narrative. The authenticity of Earl's actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the character.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are complex and multifaceted, especially the protagonist who grapples with memory loss and conflicting emotions. Their interactions and inner struggles add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The protagonist undergoes significant internal changes, grappling with new revelations about his past and questioning his own actions. This internal conflict drives character development and sets up future arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

Earl's internal goal in this scene is to figure out his situation and make sense of the cryptic messages he finds. This reflects his deeper need for control, understanding, and survival in a dangerous and confusing environment.

External Goal: 7

Earl's external goal in this scene is to escape or navigate the dangerous situation he finds himself in. This reflects the immediate challenge of physical pain and potential harm.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the protagonist struggles with memory loss, identity, and past traumas. It creates tension and suspense, driving the character's actions and decisions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Earl facing physical pain, cryptic messages, and mysterious characters that challenge his control and survival, creating a sense of urgency and danger.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for the protagonist, as he navigates memory loss, identity crisis, and past traumas. The decisions he makes in this scene have far-reaching consequences, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key information about the protagonist's past, motivations, and current predicament. It sets up future conflicts and resolutions, advancing the overall narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists, cryptic messages, and mysterious characters that keep the audience guessing and intrigued.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of control and agency. Earl is faced with the challenge of taking control of his situation and following instructions to ensure his survival, highlighting the tension between individual autonomy and external influence.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from anxiety and confusion to shock and introspection. The protagonist's emotional journey resonates with the audience and adds depth to the narrative.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is introspective and reflective, revealing the inner thoughts and conflicts of the characters. It enhances the emotional impact of the scene and drives the narrative forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its combination of mystery, danger, introspection, and philosophical conflict, keeping the audience on edge and invested in Earl's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, alternating between moments of introspection and action to keep the audience engaged and invested in Earl's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue that enhance the atmosphere and tension.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and mystery, following a non-linear narrative that reveals information gradually and keeps the audience engaged.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong visual description of Earl waking up in a bare room, which sets the tone effectively. However, the transition to the inner monologue about lists and controlling different aspects of oneself feels a bit disconnected from the initial setting and action.
  • The inner monologue about the nature of life and the struggle to maintain control over different facets of oneself is intriguing but may be a bit lengthy and philosophical for the context of the scene. It could benefit from being more directly tied to Earl's immediate situation and actions.
  • The use of the Chinese room analogy to explain the concept of following instructions and maintaining control over one's actions is clever, but it may be a bit complex and abstract for the average reader to fully grasp in this context.
  • The introduction of the large man causing pain to Earl adds a sense of mystery and danger to the scene, but it feels somewhat abrupt and disconnected from the introspective tone of the earlier parts of the scene.
  • Overall, the scene could benefit from better integration of the inner monologue with Earl's immediate actions and surroundings, as well as a smoother transition to the introduction of the large man and the sense of impending danger.
Suggestions
  • Consider streamlining the inner monologue to make it more directly relevant to Earl's immediate situation and actions, tying it more closely to the sense of mystery and danger introduced later in the scene.
  • Ensure a smoother transition between the introspective reflections and the introduction of the large man causing pain to Earl, maintaining a cohesive tone and narrative flow throughout the scene.
  • Focus on balancing the philosophical elements with the immediate tension and danger faced by Earl, creating a sense of urgency and suspense that drives the scene forward effectively.



Scene 41 -  The Tattooed Message
The noise and the pain are both coming from a gun in the man's hand—a
gun with a needle where the barrel should be. The needle is digging
into the fleshy underside of Earl's forearm, leaving a trail of puffy
letters behind it.

Earl tries to rearrange himself to get a better view, to read the
letters on his arm, but he can't. He lies back and stares at the
ceiling.

Eventually the tattoo artist turns off the noise, wipes Earl's forearm
with a piece of gauze, and wanders over to the back to dig up a
pamphlet describing how to deal with a possible infection. Maybe later
he'll tell his wife about this guy and his little note. Maybe his wife
will convince him to call the police.

Earl looks down at the arm. The letters are rising up from the skin,
weeping a little. They run from just behind the strap of Earl's watch
all the way to the inside of his elbow. Earl blinks at the message and
reads it again. It says, in careful little capitals, I RAPED AND KILLED
YOUR WIFE.

______________________________
It's your birthday today, so I got you a little present. I would have
just bought you a beer, but who knows where that would have ended?

So instead, I got you a bell. I think I may have had to pawn your watch
to buy it, but what the hell did you need a watch for, anyway?

You're probably asking yourself, Why a bell? In fact, I'm guessing
you're going to be asking yourself that question every time you find it
in your pocket. Too many of these letters now. Too many for you to dig
back into every time you want to know the answer to some little
question.

It's a joke, actually. A practical joke. But think of it this way: I'm
not really laughing at you so much as with you.

I'd like to think that every time you take it out of your pocket and
wonder, Why do I have this bell? a little part of you, a little piece
of your broken brain, will remember and laugh, like I'm laughing now.

Besides, you do know the answer. It was something you learned before.
So if you think about it, you'll know.

Back in the old days, people were obsessed with the fear of being
buried alive. You remember now? Medical science not being quite what it
is today, it wasn't uncommon for people to suddenly wake up in a
casket. So rich folks had their coffins outfitted with breathing tubes.
Little tubes running up to the mud above so that if someone woke up
when they weren't supposed to, they wouldn't run out of oxygen. Now,
they must have tested this out and realized that you could shout
yourself hoarse through the tube, but it was too narrow to carry much
noise. Not enough to attract attention, at least. So a string was run
up the tube to a little bell attached to the headstone. If a dead
person came back to life, all he had to do was ring his little bell
till someone came and dug him up again.

I'm laughing now, picturing you on a bus or maybe in a fast-food
restaurant, reaching into your pocket and finding your little bell and
wondering to yourself where it came from, why you have it. Maybe you'll
even ring it.

Happy birthday, buddy.
I don't know who figured out the solution to our mutual problem, so I
don't know whether to congratulate you or me. A bit of a lifestyle
change, admittedly, but an elegant solution, nonetheless.

Look to yourself for the answer.

That sounds like something out of a Hallmark card. I don't know when
you thought it up, but my hat's off to you. Not that you know what the
hell I'm talking about. But, honestly, a real brainstorm. After all,
everybody else needs mirrors to remind themselves who they are. You're
no different.
______________________________

THE LITTLE MECHANICAL VOICE PAUSES, then repeats itself. It says, "The
time is 8:00 a.m. This is a courtesy call." Earl opens his eyes and
replaces the receiver. The phone is perched on a cheap veneer headboard
that stretches behind the bed, curves to meet the corner, and ends at
the minibar. The TV is still on, blobs of flesh color nattering away at
each other. Earl lies back down and is surprised to see himself, older
now, tanned, the hair pulling away from his head like solar flares. The
mirror on the ceiling is cracked, the silver fading increases. Earl
continues to stare at himself, astonished by what he sees. He is fully
dressed, but the clothes are old, threadbare in places.

Earl feels the familiar spot on his left wrist for his watch, but it's
gone. He looks down from the mirror to his arm. It is bare and the skin
has changed to an even tan, as if he never owned a watch in the first
place. The skin is even in color except for the solid black arrow on
the inside of Earl's wrist, pointing up his shirtsleeve. He stares at
the arrow for a moment. Perhaps he doesn't try to rub it off anymore.
He rolls up his sleeve.

The arrow points to a sentence tattooed along Earl's inner arm. Earl
reads the sentence once, maybe twice. Another arrow picks up at the
beginning of the sentence, points farther up Earl's arm, disappearing
under the rolled-up shirtsleeve. He unbuttons his shirt.

Looking down on his chest, he can make out the shapes but cannot bring
them into focus, so he looks up at the mirror above him.

The arrow leads up Earl's arm, crosses at the shoulder, and descends
onto his upper torso, terminating at a picture of a man's face that
occupies most of his chest. The face is that of a large man, balding,
with a mustache and a goatee. It is a particular face, but like a
police sketch it has a certain unreal quality.

The rest of his upper torso is covered in words, phrases, bits of
information, and instructions, all of them written backward on Earl,
forward in the mirror.

Eventually Earl sits up, buttons his shirt, and crosses to the desk. He
takes out a pen and a piece of notepaper from the desk drawer, sits,
and begins to write.

______________________________

I don't know where you'll be when you read this. I'm not even sure if
you'll bother to read this. I guess you don't need to.

It's a shame, really, that you and I will never meet. But, like the
song says, "By the time you read this note, I'll be gone."

We're so close now. That's the way it feels. So many pieces put
together, spelled out. I guess it's just a matter of time until you
find him.

Who knows what we've done to get here? Must be a hell of a story, if
only you could remember any of it. I guess it's better that you can't.

I had a thought just now. Maybe you'll find it useful.
Genres: ["Thriller","Mystery","Drama"]

Summary Earl receives an enigmatic tattoo and a bell, accompanied by a cryptic note from the tattoo artist. The note explains the significance of both the tattoo and the bell, leaving Earl with a lingering mystery.
Strengths
  • Intriguing plot twists
  • Complex characters
  • Tension-filled dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Complexity may be overwhelming for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging, filled with suspense, mystery, and shocking revelations. It keeps the audience on the edge of their seats and leaves them wanting more.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using tattoos to convey messages related to past events and the theme of memory loss is innovative and adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot is intricate, with multiple layers of mystery and suspense. The revelation of past events through flashbacks adds complexity to the storyline.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its premise and execution, blending elements of psychological thriller, mystery, and introspective drama. The use of tattoos as a narrative device and the cryptic messages add a fresh and intriguing twist to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with hidden motivations and conflicting agendas. Their interactions drive the tension and conflict in the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant changes as they confront their past actions and face the consequences of their choices.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is likely to come to terms with the message on his arm and the implications it has for his past actions. He may be grappling with guilt, fear, or confusion about the situation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to understand the message on his arm and potentially figure out who is responsible for it. This goal reflects the immediate challenge he is facing and drives the narrative forward.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters is intense and high-stakes, leading to shocking revelations and dramatic confrontations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external challenges that test his beliefs, values, and identity. The mysterious message on his arm and the cryptic notes add layers of complexity and intrigue to the story.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters confront their past sins, face dangerous situations, and grapple with the truth of their actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information, escalating the conflict, and setting up future events.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its unexpected twists, cryptic messages, and enigmatic characters. The reader is kept on edge, unsure of what will happen next and how the protagonist will navigate the challenges he faces.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around themes of guilt, redemption, and the consequences of one's actions. The protagonist is forced to confront his past deeds and the impact they have had on others.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from anxiety and confusion to shock and revelation, keeping the audience emotionally engaged.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing crucial information and building tension between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its compelling premise, rich characterization, and atmospheric writing. The mystery and tension keep the reader hooked and eager to uncover the truth behind the protagonist's situation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-crafted, with a gradual build-up of tension and suspense that keeps the reader engaged. The scene's rhythm and structure contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the protagonist's emotional journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear scene descriptions, dialogue formatting, and narrative flow. The use of visual cues and sensory details enhances the reader's immersion in the story.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure that enhances the sense of mystery and suspense. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and intrigue.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong and intriguing setup with Earl being tattooed with a disturbing message on his arm, creating tension and mystery.
  • The use of the tattoo artist's perspective and actions adds depth to the scene and creates a sense of unease.
  • The letter left for Earl adds an additional layer of complexity and intrigue to the scene, hinting at a deeper connection between characters and past events.
  • The gradual reveal of the tattooed message and the significance of the bell create a sense of foreboding and curiosity.
  • The scene effectively builds suspense and sets up a compelling mystery for the reader to unravel.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts and emotions for Earl to enhance the reader's connection to his character and the gravity of the situation.
  • Provide more context or hints about the relationship between Earl and the tattoo artist, as well as the significance of the tattoo and the message on his arm.
  • Explore Earl's reactions and responses to the tattoo and the letter in more detail to deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Consider incorporating sensory details to further immerse the reader in the scene, such as describing the sounds, smells, and physical sensations Earl experiences.
  • Ensure that the resolution of the scene ties back to the initial setup and advances the overall plot or character development.



Scene 42 -  Earl's Contemplations in the Car
Everybody is waiting for the end to come, but what if it already passed
us by? What if the final joke of Judgment Day was that it had already
come and gone and we were none the wiser? Apocalypse arrives quietly;
the chosen are herded off to heaven, and the rest of us, the ones who
failed the test, just keep on going, oblivious. Dead already,
wandering around long after the gods have stopped keeping score, still
optimistic about the future.

I guess if that's true, then it doesn't matter what you do. No
expectations. If you can't find him, then it doesn't matter, because
nothing matters. And if you do find him, then you can kill him without
worrying about the consequences. Because there are no consequences.

That's what I'm thinking about right now, in this scrappy little room.
Framed pictures of ships on the wall. I don't know, obviously, but if I
had to guess, I'd say we're somewhere up the coast. If you're wondering
why your left arm is five shades browner than your right, I don't know
what to tell you. I guess we must have been driving for a while. And,
no, I don't know what happened to your watch.

And all these keys: I have no idea. Not a one that I recognize. Car
keys and house keys and the little fiddly keys for padlocks. What have
we been up to?

I wonder if he'll feel stupid when you find him. Tracked down by the
ten-minute man. Assassinated by a vegetable.

I'll be gone in a moment. I'll put down the pen, close my eyes, and
then you can read this through if you want.

I just wanted you to know that I'm proud of you. No one who matters is
left to say it. No one left is going to want to.

EARL'S EYES ARE WIDE OPEN, staring through the window of the car.
Smiling eyes. Smiling through the window at the crowd gathering across
the street. The crowd gathering around the body in the doorway. The
body emptying slowly across the sidewalk and into the storm drain.

______________________________

A stocky guy, facedown, eyes open. Balding head, goatee. In death, as
in police sketches, faces tend to look the same. This is definitely
somebody in particular. But really, it could be anybody.

Earl is still smiling at the body as the car pulls away from the curb.
The car? Who's to say? Maybe it's a police cruiser. Maybe it's just a
taxi.

As the car is swallowed into traffic, Earl's eyes continue to shine out
into the night, watching the body until it disappears into a circle of
concerned pedestrians. He chuckles to himself as the car continues to
make distance between him and the growing crowd.

Earl's smile fades a little. Something has occurred to him. He begins
to pat down his pockets; leisurely at first, like a man looking for his
keys, then a little more desperately. Maybe his progress is impeded by
a set of handcuffs. He begins to empty the contents of his pockets out
onto the seat next to him. Some money. A bunch of keys. Scraps of
paper.
A round metal lump rolls out of his pocket and slides across the vinyl
seat. Earl is frantic now. He hammers at the plastic divider between
him and the driver, begging the man for a pen. Perhaps the cabbie
doesn't speak much English. Perhaps the cop isn't in the habit of
talking to suspects. Either way, the divider between the man in front
and the man behind remains closed. A pen is not forthcoming.

The car hits a pothole, and Earl blinks at his reflection in the
rearview mirror. He is calm now. The driver makes another corner, and
the metal lump slides back over to rest against Earl's leg with a
little jingle. He picks it up and looks at it, curious now. It is a
little bell. A little metal bell. Inscribed on it are his name and a
set of dates. He recognizes the first one: the year in which he was
born. But the second date means nothing to him. Nothing at all.

As he turns the bell over in his hands, he notices the empty space on
his wrist where his watch used to sit. There is a little arrow there,
pointing up his arm. Earl looks at the arrow, then begins to roll up
his sleeve.

_____________________________

"You'd be late for your own funeral," she'd say. Remember? The more I
think about it, the more trite that seems. What kind of idiot, after
all, is in any kind of rush to get to the end of his own story?

And how would I know if I were late, anyway? I don't have a watch
anymore. I don't know what we did with it.

What the hell do you need a watch for, anyway? It was an antique.
Deadweight tugging at your wrist. Symbol of the old you. The you that
believed in time.

No. Scratch that. It's not so much that you've lost your faith in time
as that time has lost its faith in you. And who needs it, anyway? Who
wants to be one of those saps living in the safety of the future, in
the safety of the moment after the moment in which they felt something
powerful? Living in the next moment, in which they feel nothing.
Crawling down the hands of the clock, away from the people who did
unspeakable things to them. Believing the lie that time will heal all
wounds—which is just a nice way of saying that time deadens us.
But you're different. You're more perfect. Time is three things for
most people, but for you, for us, just one. A singularity. One moment.
This moment. Like you're the center of the clock, the axis on which the
hands turn. Time moves about you but never moves you. It has lost its
ability to affect you. What is it they say? That time is theft? But not
for you. Close your eyes and you can start all over again. Conjure up
that necessary emotion, fresh as roses.

Time is an absurdity. An abstraction. The only thing that matters is
this moment. This moment a million times over. You have to trust me. If
this moment is repeated enough, if you keep trying—and you have to keep
trying—eventually you will come across the next item on your list.

End.
Genres: ["Mystery","Thriller","Drama"]

Summary Earl, lost in his thoughts while riding in a car, questions the meaning of time and the significance of his actions. He realizes the futility of dwelling on the past and the importance of living in the present moment. His discovery of a tattoo on his wrist, bearing two enigmatic dates, adds a layer of mystery and uncertainty to his introspections.
Strengths
  • Intriguing plot twists
  • Complex characters
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Thought-provoking themes
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be confusing for the audience
  • Pacing could be improved in certain sections

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, filled with tension, and leaves the audience with many questions. The mix of mystery, reflection, and dark themes creates a compelling atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of time, memory, and identity is central to the scene, with the protagonist grappling with his past and uncertain future. The use of symbols like the bell and the body adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot is intricate and keeps the audience guessing, with unexpected twists and revelations. The discovery of the body and the protagonist's internal conflict drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and unique approach to the concept of the apocalypse and explores existential themes in a thought-provoking manner. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters are complex and intriguing, especially the protagonist who is struggling with his memory and identity. The interactions between characters add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 8

The protagonist undergoes significant internal changes as he grapples with his past, memory loss, and the revelations about his identity. The scene marks a turning point for the character.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with the idea that nothing matters and to find a sense of purpose or meaning in a seemingly meaningless world.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to find someone and potentially kill them without worrying about consequences, reflecting a sense of nihilism and detachment from societal norms.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of internal and external conflict in the scene, with the protagonist facing challenges related to his past, identity, and the mysterious events unfolding around him.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and actions, keeping the audience on edge.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for the protagonist, as he faces challenges related to his past, identity, and the mysterious events unfolding around him. The consequences of his actions are significant.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key information, introducing new mysteries, and deepening the protagonist's internal conflict. It sets the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of its non-linear narrative structure, unexpected character actions, and philosophical twists that challenge the audience's expectations.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the concept of time and its impact on individuals. The protagonist grapples with the idea of time as an abstraction and the loss of faith in its ability to heal wounds or provide meaning.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including confusion, shock, and reflection. The protagonist's internal struggle and the dark themes contribute to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is impactful and reveals important information about the characters and their motivations. It adds tension and depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its thought-provoking dialogue, mysterious atmosphere, and existential themes that keep the audience intrigued and questioning the nature of reality.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by creating a sense of tension and suspense, as well as allowing for moments of introspection and character development.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue that contribute to the overall atmosphere and tone.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows a non-linear narrative style that enhances the sense of mystery and disorientation, fitting the genre of existential drama.


Critique
  • The scene starts with a philosophical reflection on the nature of time and the insignificance of actions in the grand scheme of things. While introspection can be powerful in a screenplay, it's important to ensure that it serves the overall plot and character development.
  • The transition from the philosophical reflection to Earl's situation in the car is abrupt and may confuse the audience. It's crucial to maintain a clear and coherent narrative flow to keep the audience engaged.
  • The scene lacks clarity in terms of setting and character actions. It's challenging to follow Earl's actions and emotions, leading to a disconnect between the audience and the character.
  • The use of symbolism, such as the bell and the missing watch, is intriguing but needs to be integrated more seamlessly into the narrative to enhance the storytelling.
  • The dialogue and internal monologue provide insight into Earl's mindset, but they need to be more focused and purposeful to drive the story forward effectively.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between the philosophical reflection and Earl's actions in the car. This will help maintain the audience's engagement and understanding.
  • Clarify the setting and character actions to ensure that the audience can follow Earl's journey and emotional state more effectively.
  • Integrate the symbolism of the bell and the missing watch more cohesively into the narrative to enhance the thematic elements of the scene.
  • Refine the dialogue and internal monologue to be more purposeful and impactful, driving Earl's character development and the overall plot forward.
  • Focus on balancing introspection with action to maintain a dynamic and engaging pace throughout the scene.