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Scene 1 -  From Recklessness to Crisis: Cheney's Dual Moments
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
VICE



Written and Directed by



Adam McKay
OPEN ON: BLACK

“The following is a true story.”

“Or as true as it can be given that Dick Cheney is one of the
most secretive leaders in history.”

“But we did our fucking best.”


INT. ROAD SIDE BAR WYOMING - 1963 - NIGHT

MUSIC: ROLY POLY by Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys.

The place is full of DRUNK LINE MEN, DRIFTERS, WEATHERED
RANCHERS and a few ROUGH PROFESSIONAL WOMEN who flirt and
dance.

Young DICK CHENEY, 21, liquored up and playing dice, screams
to the heavens in triumph.


EXT. DESOLATE ROAD - NIGHT - LATER

The RED TAIL LIGHTS of a battered 1949 Frazer Sedan SWERVE
BACK AND FORTH ERRATICALLY. Dick is at the wheel. Very drunk.

POLICE LIGHTS FLASH behind him.

POV A HARSH POLICE FLASH LIGHT HITS THE DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AS
DICK LEANS HIS HEAD OUT.

DICK
How you doing tonight?

OFFICER
I need you to get out of the car.

Dick gets out and IMMEDIATELY STUMBLES TO THE GROUND.

SFX: A LOUD BLARING ELECTRONIC SIREN


INT. WHITE HOUSE OFFICE OF VICE PRESIDENT - 9/11 2001 - DAY

Older Cheney, 60, CONDOLEEZZA RICE and MARY MATALIN are
watching CNN. ONE OF THE TWIN TOWERS IS SMOKING.

SUDDENLY A SECOND PLANE SOARS INTO FRAME AND HITS THE OTHER
TOWER. Everyone gasps.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT
MOVE!!!!!
2.


Secret Service Agent grabs Cheney and pushes him down the
hall to the underground bunker.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT #2
(into ear piece)
A plane just struck the Pentagon.


INT. HAIR SALON - SAME TIME

A TV in a hair salon shows the 9/11 coverage. LYNNE CHENEY,
59, stares at the twin towers in shock.
Genres: ["Biography","Drama"]

Summary The scene juxtaposes two pivotal moments in Dick Cheney's life: a raucous night in 1963 where a young, drunken Cheney celebrates at a bar and faces a police officer during a traffic stop, and the tense atmosphere of September 11, 2001, as an older Cheney reacts to the unfolding terrorist attacks in the White House. The contrasting tones highlight Cheney's reckless youth and the urgent, chaotic response to a national crisis, culminating in his evacuation by Secret Service agents while his wife, Lynne, watches in shock from a hair salon.
Strengths
  • Effective transitions between timelines
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Compelling character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Dialogue could be more nuanced
  • Some scenes may feel rushed
Critique
  • The opening scene effectively uses a black screen with text to establish a meta-narrative tone, humorously acknowledging the challenges of portraying a secretive figure like Dick Cheney. This approach draws the audience in with irony and self-awareness, setting up the film's satirical style, but it risks undermining the seriousness of the historical events by coming across as flippant or overly casual. For viewers expecting a straightforward biopic, this could create a tonal mismatch that might alienate them early on, as the humor may not land if it feels dismissive of the gravity of Cheney's actions and the 9/11 tragedy.
  • The 1963 Wyoming bar sequence vividly introduces young Cheney's reckless and boisterous personality through action and atmosphere, with elements like the lively music and rowdy crowd immersing the audience in the setting. However, the scene lacks depth in character development; Cheney's dialogue and actions are stereotypical for a 'drunken young man,' which doesn't provide much insight into his motivations or backstory. This could make it harder for the audience to connect with him beyond a surface-level caricature, potentially weakening the emotional investment in his character arc over the course of the film.
  • The transition from the 1963 arrest to the 9/11 White House scene is abrupt and jarring, using jump cuts to signify a time leap, which mirrors the film's non-linear structure but might confuse viewers or disrupt the flow. While this technique can be effective for emphasizing themes of chaos and opportunity, it risks feeling disjointed without stronger transitional elements, such as a voiceover or visual motif, to guide the audience. Additionally, the parallel cut to Lynne Cheney in the hair salon adds a personal layer but feels underdeveloped, as it doesn't fully explore her reaction or its significance, making it seem like an afterthought rather than an integral part of the scene.
  • The use of sound effects, like the blaring electronic siren during the arrest and the gasps during the 9/11 footage, heightens tension and immerses the audience in the moment, effectively contrasting the personal recklessness of Cheney's youth with the national crisis. However, this reliance on sensory elements sometimes overshadows the dialogue, which is sparse and functional rather than revelatory. For instance, Cheney's line 'How you doing tonight?' is a good hook, but it could be used to reveal more about his charisma or evasion tactics, helping to build a more nuanced portrait rather than just illustrating his drunken state.
  • Overall, the scene successfully hooks the audience with high-stakes action and historical context, foreshadowing Cheney's rise to power and the film's central themes of secrecy and opportunity. That said, the rapid pacing and multiple location shifts in a short span might overwhelm viewers, especially in an opening scene that needs to establish tone and characters clearly. The satirical edge is sharp but could benefit from more balance to ensure it educates and entertains without alienating those who might view the subject matter as sensitive or controversial.
Suggestions
  • To smooth the transitions between time periods, incorporate a subtle narrative device, such as a recurring visual motif (e.g., a shadow or a specific sound) or a brief voiceover bridge, to help orient the audience and make the jumps less disorienting while maintaining the film's dynamic pace.
  • Enhance character development in the 1963 sequences by adding a line of dialogue or a subtle action that hints at Cheney's ambition or intelligence, such as a quick exchange with a bar patron that shows his manipulative side, to make him more than just a reckless figure and set up his future trajectory more effectively.
  • Expand the parallel scene with Lynne Cheney slightly by including a short reaction shot or internal thought to emphasize her role as a stabilizing force in Cheney's life, which could strengthen the family dynamic and provide emotional contrast to the chaotic events, making her character more memorable from the start.
  • Refine the use of humor in the opening text by ensuring it aligns with the film's overall tone; consider adding a moment of sincerity or a fade to a serious image to balance the levity and respect the historical weight, preventing the satire from feeling insensitive.
  • Adjust the pacing by holding on key moments longer, such as the black screen text or the 9/11 reaction shots, to allow the audience to absorb the information and emotional impact, which could improve engagement and make the scene more impactful without sacrificing its energy.



Scene 2 -  Chaos and Opportunity: The Bunker on 9/11
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. UNDERGROUND WHITE HOUSE BUNKER - 9/11 9:38AM

Cheney begins barking out orders.

DICK
Let’s make sure the phone lines are
working. SIVITS.

CONDI RICE
Phones are a go, Sir.

DICK
Let’s contact the FAA. Find out how
many planes are in the air.

JUMP CUT: Cheney, on the phone amidst the chaos, NORMAN
MINETA, DAVID ADDINGTON, Condi Rice, SCOOTER LIBBY, KAREN
HUGHES and a few others are there.

CONDI RICE
(into phone)
May I get the President on the
line, please?

STAFFER
That’s right. We’ve got planes in
the air and no where for them to
land.

The Twin Towers burn on the television as Dick lowers his
head into his hands.

CONDI RICE
Mr. Vice President, POTUS on line
1.

Council looks at Cheney as he is about to pick up a call from
POTUS.
3.


DICK
Mr. President, this situation is
extremely fluid. I am strongly
recommending you stay in the air.
I’ve sequestered Congressional
leadership and I’m coordinating our
response with the White House
team... Okay then...

Dick hangs up and we reveal Lynne, now standing behind him.
She has her hand on Dick’s shoulder. He touches her hand.

STAFFER
Sir, Don Rumsfeld on 3.

Cheney points to the speaker phone.

CHENEY
That?

He picks up the line.

RUMSFELD (V.O.)
Dick, there are still passenger
planes in the air. I need rules of
engagement.

CONDI RICE
Let’s get the President back on the-

Cheney holds up his hand.

DICK
You have authorization to shoot
down any aircraft deemed a threat.

Beat.

RUMSFELD
Presidential authority?

DICK
That’s correct. All orders are
UNODIR.

CONDI RICE
UNODIR?

KAREN HUGHES
Unless otherwise directed.

FREEZE on Dick Cheney.
4.


NARRATOR (V.O.)
(male, late 20’s)
By all accounts of what people saw
in that room on that terrible day,
there was confusion, fear,
uncertainty, but Dick Cheney saw
something else that no one else
did... he saw an opportunity.

Famous Photo of Men Playing Golf while the hillside behind
them is on fire.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
As the world becomes more and more
confusing, we tend to focus on the
things that are right there in
front of us. While ignoring the
massive forces that actually change
and shape our lives.

VT and Stills of people working at Amazon and Wal-Mart.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And with people working longer and
longer hours, for less and less
wages, when we do have free time,
the last thing we want is
complicated analysis of our
government, lobbying, international
trade agreements.

VT of people partying and dancing.

Cheney clasps his hands thinking in the 9/11 Bunker.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
So it's no surprise that when a
monotone bureaucratic Vice
President came to power. We hardly
noticed. As he achieved a position
of authority that very few leaders
in the history of our nation ever
have.

Quick shots of the Iraq war, torture, the Senate passing tax
cuts etc.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Forever changing the course of
history for millions and millions
of lives. And he did it like a
ghost. With most people having no
idea who he is or where he came
from.
5.


Lynne puts her hand on Dick’s shoulder as we SMASH CUT to Jet
Planes bombing a Middle Eastern Town with a ferocity.

FADE TO BLACK...


EXT. RIVER - DAY

Young Cheney fly fishes in a river ALONE. Working his rod and
the line... Over and over again.

NARRATOR
How does a man go on to become who
he is? Well it starts in 1963.


EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD - HOMECOMING

YOUNG LYNNE CHENEY, in the back of a fancy car: Miss Mustang,
in a sparkled cowboy outfit waving at the crowd in SLO MO.
She’s a cross between a movie star and a goddess.

NARRATOR
When Dick's best girl Lynne was
getting straight A's at Colorado
College,


INT. YALE DORM ROOM - DAY

Young Cheney passed out in bed. His sheets and floor covered
in vomit.

NARRATOR
Lynne had helped Dick get a
scholarship at Yale, where he did
way more drinking than class
attending. Pretty soon Dick got the
boot. So he went back home to
Wyoming to work as a lineman for
the state.
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Historical"]

Summary In the Underground White House Bunker on September 11, 2001, at 9:38 AM, Dick Cheney takes charge amid the chaos of the attacks, coordinating responses and authorizing military action against threatening aircraft. As the Twin Towers burn on television, Cheney's decisive actions reflect a mix of fear and opportunism, highlighted by a voice-over that contrasts the turmoil with images of everyday life and historical events. The scene culminates in a stark transition to military bombings, symbolizing the far-reaching consequences of the decisions made in the bunker.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Effective pacing
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of secondary characters
  • Some dialogue may be overly expository
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaos and high-stakes atmosphere of the 9/11 bunker response, using jump cuts and urgent dialogue to convey tension, which helps immerse the audience in the historical moment. However, this rapid pacing might overwhelm viewers, making it hard to process key events or character emotions, especially since it's early in the film and sets up Cheney's arc.
  • The voice-over narration is a strong tool for exposition, providing thematic depth by contrasting public ignorance with Cheney's opportunism, but it risks being too on-the-nose and didactic. This could alienate audiences who prefer showing over telling, as the narrator explicitly states Cheney's motivations rather than allowing subtle actions or dialogue to reveal them.
  • Character development for Dick Cheney is intriguing, showing his shift from reactive participant in scene 1 to a commanding figure here, but the portrayal feels one-dimensional. His barking orders and quick decisions lack internal conflict or nuance, missing an opportunity to explore his psychology more deeply, which could make him more relatable or complex for the audience.
  • The integration of Lynne Cheney's supportive presence is a nice touch, humanizing Dick and hinting at their relationship, but it's underdeveloped. Her actions, like placing a hand on his shoulder, are symbolic but lack dialogue or interaction that could deepen their dynamic, making her role feel more like a prop than a fully fleshed-out character.
  • The visual elements, such as the freeze frame on Cheney and the montage of societal distractions, are creative and reinforce the theme of overlooked power structures. However, these montages might come across as heavy-handed or disconnected, potentially disrupting the flow and making the scene feel more like a documentary insert than a cohesive narrative moment.
  • The transition to the flashback at the end is abrupt and could confuse viewers, as it jumps from the intense 9/11 bunker to a serene fishing scene without a strong narrative bridge. This shift might dilute the emotional impact of the 9/11 sequence and feels like a forced setup for backstory, rather than an organic progression that ties into the immediate action.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtle visual cues or micro-expressions in Cheney's performance to show his internal realization of opportunity, reducing reliance on voice-over and allowing the audience to infer his mindset through action.
  • Add a brief moment of quiet reflection or dialogue between Cheney and a key character, like Condi Rice, to humanize the bunker scene and provide emotional grounding, helping to balance the high-energy chaos with character depth.
  • Refine the voice-over narration to be less explicit by focusing on evocative questions or ambiguities that encourage audience interpretation, such as hinting at Cheney's opportunism through implied contrasts rather than direct statements.
  • Strengthen the transition to the flashback by ending the bunker sequence with a visual or auditory cue that links to Cheney's past, like a fleeting memory triggered by the crisis, to make the shift feel more seamless and thematic.
  • Expand Lynne Cheney's role with a line of dialogue or a shared glance that reveals more about their relationship, such as her whispering encouragement or concern, to make her presence more integral to the scene and foreshadow future dynamics.
  • Consider pacing adjustments, such as extending key beats like Cheney's phone call with the President, to allow emotional weight to build, ensuring the scene doesn't rush through important moments and maintains audience engagement.



Scene 3 -  A Night of Recklessness
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. VAST WYOMING FIELD - DAY - 1963

Dick strapped to a pole works on power lines with a cigarette
in his mouth. It’s rough hard work.

NARRATOR
Back then they would have been
called a guy like him a ne’er-do-
well. In today’s parlance they
would just call him a dirt bag.
6.


In the distance, a Man SCREAMS. Dick looks down below.

LINEMAN #1
Man down!


EXT. POWER LINE BASE - CONTINUOUS

Linemen gather around a FALLEN MAN who’s leg has snapped in
half, a bone sticking out of his torn pants.

LINEMAN #2
His leg looks like an Elvis dance
move.

The men laugh.

LINEMAN #1
Somebody give that poor son of a
bitch a shot of whiskey.

LINEMAN BOSS
Alright, back to work. I SAID, Back
to work!

Everyone walks away except Cheney who continues to stare at
the writhing man.

LINEMAN BOSS (CONT’D)
(to Lineman #3)
Take him into town, put $5 in his
pocket. Find another man for
tomorrow.
(to Cheney)
You got a problem Cheney?

DICK
No sir.

Cheney takes a drag of his smoke and walks away.


INT. ROAD SIDE BAR WYOMING 1963 - NIGHT

Dick dances around the bar drunk with a giant smile on his
face, taking shots and stumbling into other locals.

A SHIFTY CREW MEMBER keeps putting his arm around Dick’s
shoulder. He’s trying to agitate Cheney.

SHIFTY CREW MEMBER
Are we becoming friends?
7.


DICK
Will you stop touching me?

SHIFTY CREW MEMBER
What you gonna do about it, Mr.
Yale? Huh?

Cheney slaps Crew Member’s hand off his shoulder.

SHIFTY CREW MEMBER (CONT’D)
Woah! The fuck you gonna do about
it, Mr. Yale? Come on!

Dick shoves him back and PUNCHES HIM.


EXT. DESOLATE ROAD - NIGHT

From earlier, with the police officer’s help, Cheney stumbles
out of the car. The crackle of the police radio in the
background.


EXT. LYNNE’S HOUSE - THE NEXT MORNING

A lower middle class home. A dog barks in the distance.
Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary In a gritty Wyoming field in 1963, Dick Cheney, a lineman, is depicted working hard when a colleague suffers a severe injury, prompting dark humor among the crew. Later, at a roadside bar, Dick's drunken antics lead to a violent confrontation with a taunting crew member, resulting in police involvement. The scene concludes the next morning outside Lynne's house, hinting at the consequences of Dick's reckless behavior.
Strengths
  • Effective character development
  • Tension-filled atmosphere
  • Seamless transitions between past and present
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of supporting characters
  • Some dialogue may feel cliched or forced
Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes Dick Cheney's early character as a reckless, working-class figure through a series of vignettes, but the rapid shifts between locations— from the power line field to the bar, police stop, and Lynne's house— create a disjointed feel that may confuse viewers. This choppiness disrupts the narrative flow, making it hard to build emotional investment or thematic depth, especially since the transitions lack smooth bridging elements. In the context of the broader script, which frequently jumps through time, this scene could benefit from stronger cues to orient the audience, as it risks feeling like a montage rather than a cohesive scene.
  • Character development is uneven; Cheney's portrayal as a 'ne’er-do-well' is clear, but opportunities for nuance are missed. For instance, his prolonged stare at the injured lineman suggests potential empathy or discomfort, which could foreshadow his complex personality, but it's not explored beyond a surface level. This leaves Cheney feeling one-dimensional in this scene—primarily aggressive and impulsive—without hinting at the internal conflicts that drive his later rise to power. Additionally, supporting characters like the linemen and the shifty crew member are stereotypical and lack depth, serving more as plot devices than fully realized individuals, which diminishes the scene's ability to humanize the ensemble or provide contrast to Cheney's behavior.
  • The dialogue feels contrived and expository in places, such as the shifty crew member's taunts about 'Mr. Yale,' which explicitly reference Cheney's background but come across as heavy-handed and unnatural. This reduces the authenticity of the interactions, making them seem like they're solely there to advance the plot or deliver backstory rather than emerging organically from the characters' motivations. The narration's derogatory labels ('ne’er-do-well,' 'dirt bag') are on-the-nose and satirical, which fits the script's tone, but they could be integrated more subtly to avoid overwhelming the visual storytelling and allow the audience to infer Cheney's flaws through actions rather than direct commentary.
  • Tonally, the scene blends dark humor (e.g., laughing at the injured man's 'Elvis dance move') with moments of potential seriousness (the work accident and police stop), but this mix doesn't always land effectively. The humor risks trivializing serious events, which could alienate viewers or undercut the scene's intent to show Cheney's recklessness as a character flaw. In comparison to the previous scenes, which handle 9/11 with a mix of tension and satire, this scene feels less polished, potentially because it lacks the high-stakes urgency that grounds the humor in larger themes. This inconsistency might make the scene feel like a filler segment rather than a vital part of Cheney's origin story.
  • Visually and cinematically, the scene has strong potential with vivid descriptions (e.g., the bone protruding from the pants, the drunken dancing), but it doesn't fully capitalize on these elements to create memorable imagery. The ending at Lynne's house is abrupt and unresolved, with the dog bark serving as a weak transition that doesn't tie into the emotional arc. This could leave audiences feeling unsatisfied, as the scene builds tension through Cheney's conflicts but doesn't provide closure or a clear link to the next part of the story, such as hinting at Lynne's influence on his life, which is explored in Scene 4.
Suggestions
  • To improve transitions, add narrative voice-over bridges or visual motifs (e.g., recurring imagery of Cheney's cigarette or the Wyoming landscape) that connect the vignettes more fluidly, helping to maintain momentum and clarify the passage of time without relying on abrupt cuts.
  • Enhance character depth by expanding on Cheney's internal state, such as through subtle actions or a brief flashback during his stare at the injured man, to show early signs of ambition or regret, making him more relatable and foreshadowing his future development.
  • Refine dialogue to be more natural and less expository; for example, rephrase the taunts to reveal character relationships gradually, or use the narration more sparingly to allow scenes to unfold through action and subtext, strengthening the satirical tone while improving authenticity.
  • Balance the tone by calibrating the dark humor—perhaps by shortening comedic moments or adding a counterpoint of seriousness, like a quick cut to Cheney's face showing fleeting guilt—to ensure it complements the script's overall critique of power and recklessness without overshadowing key emotional beats.



Scene 4 -  Confrontation and Ultimatum
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. LYNNE’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME

DICK, WITH A BLACK EYE AND STAINS ON HIS SHIRT SITS ON THE
COUCH.

LYNNE, 21, pretty and sharp, stands over him with a fury in
her eyes.

LYNNE
Two times! Two times I had to drag
you out of that jail like a filthy
hobo!!

DICK
I’m sorry, Lynne...

LYNNE
What? What did you just say?

DICK
I’m sorry, Lynney.
8.


LYNNE
You’re sorry? Don’t call me
“Lynney!” One time is “I’m sorry.”
Two times makes me think I’ve
picked the wrong man! They kicked
your ass out of Yale for drinking
and fighting! Now are you just a
lush who’s going to hang power
lines for the state? Are we going
to live in a trailer and have ten
children!? Is that the plan?!

Dick looks like he might be sick.

DICK
Can we please... discuss this
later?

LYNNE
No. We discuss it right now while
you smell of piss and cheap booze!

EDNA, Lynne’s Mom, starts to walk in.

EDNA
Does Dick want some coffee?

LYNNE
Mother get out! Does Dick want some
coffee? Jesus Christ!
(back to Dick)
Here’s my plan. Either you stand up
and put your back straight and have
the courage to become someone or I
am gone! There are a dozen men and
a few Professors at school who
would date me!

DICK
I love you, Lynne. I’ve loved you
since the day I first saw you.

LYNNE
Then prove it! I can’t go to a big
Ivy League school! I can’t run a
company or be Mayor! That’s just
the way the world is for a girl! I
need you! And right now you’re a
big fat piss soaked zero!
(beat while she reloads)
I’ve seen my Mother waiting up all
night for my Father to come home.
(MORE)
9.

LYNNE (CONT'D)
And I’ve seen him drunk in this
house raising his voice and way
worse, and I’m not dancing that
dance anymore... I’m not!

QUICK FLASH BACK to Lynne’s FATHER yelling at her MOTHER in
the kitchen. Her dad is scary and has been drinking.

LYNNE (CONT’D)
Can you change? Or am I wasting my
goddamn time?

Beat as Dick looks up. There is a GROWLING DETERMINATION IN
HIS EYES.

DICK
I won’t ever disappoint you again
Lynne.

FADE TO BLACK



QUOTE AGAINST BLACK

“Beware the quiet man. For while others speak, he watches.
And while others act, he plans. And when they finally
rest...he strikes.” - ANONYMOUS

OPENING TITLES

Dick graduating from U of Wyoming.

Dick and Lynne’s Wedding Day.

Lynne stands pregnant and Dick signs Vietnam Deferment
papers.

Dick drives into Washington D.C.

MAIN TITLE: VICE


INT. RAYBURN HOUSE OFFICE BUILDING - DAY

A theater with a podium is filled with FELLOWS from around
the country. A MONOTONE CONGRESSMAN, 73 finishes a speech.

MONOTONE CONGRESSMAN
You are America’s best and
brightest. God bless you all... and
God bless... this great nation.
10.


The 100 or so interns looked bored. A few clap politely.
Cheney looks like he’s made a big mistake coming to DC.

MONOTONE CONGRESSMAN (CONT’D)
Next up is a young man from
Illinois who’s done quite well for
himself here at the Capitol...
Representative Donald Rumsfeld...

DONALD RUMSFELD, 36, strides over with brash confidence. HE
LIGHTS HIS PIPE and leans on the lectern.

DONALD RUMSFELD
So did Bob tell you this internship
is a great honor? Huh? Did he?

A few people murmur yes.

DONALD RUMSFELD (CONT’D)
Well, it’s not. It’s what we called
in the Navy “a shit detail.”

THE ROOM LAUGHS. Dick Cheney laughs. Rumsfeld oozes charisma.

FREEZE ON RUMSFELD.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Donald Rumsfeld, or Rummy as they
called him, was the former captain
of the Princeton wrestling team...


INT. PRINCETON WRESTLING GYM - DAY - 1952

SUPER 8 FOOTAGE: A 20 year old DONALD RUMSFELD, in wrestling
singlet and head gear poses for camera in a wrestling pose
moving his hands around, ready for a take down.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
...and an elite navy jet pilot.
Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary In Lynne's living room, a disheveled Dick faces Lynne's fury over his repeated troubles with drinking and fighting, including his recent jail time. Lynne, drawing from her traumatic past with her alcoholic father, issues an ultimatum: he must change or she will leave him. Despite Dick's initial defensiveness and attempts to postpone the discussion, Lynne's emotional outburst reveals her deep frustrations and fears for their future. The scene culminates with Dick professing his love and determination to change, ending with a fade to black.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional confrontation
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Clear turning point for protagonist
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue
Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a pivotal character moment for Dick Cheney, showcasing his vulnerability and setting up his transformation arc, which is crucial for the overall narrative. By depicting Dick in a disheveled state and Lynne in a position of power, it highlights the consequences of his earlier reckless behavior from Scene 3, making it a strong narrative bridge that emphasizes personal stakes and motivation for change.
  • Lynne's dialogue is sharp and emotionally charged, effectively conveying her frustration and backstory, which adds depth to her character and provides insight into her motivations. This helps the audience understand her as a strong, intelligent woman shaped by her traumatic family history, contrasting with the more passive or flawed portrayals of women in some biopics, and it underscores themes of gender roles and ambition in the 1960s era.
  • The confrontation builds tension well, with Lynne's ultimatum serving as a dramatic climax that propels Dick's character development. The use of the flashback to her alcoholic father is a concise way to reveal her emotional baggage, creating sympathy and urgency, but it risks feeling abrupt and stereotypical, potentially reducing the scene's emotional nuance by relying on a common trope of familial dysfunction without deeper exploration.
  • While the dialogue captures raw emotion, it can come across as overly expository and melodramatic, with lines like 'You’re a big fat piss soaked zero!' feeling blunt and caricature-like. This might undermine the scene's realism, as real-life confrontations often include subtext, pauses, or indirect expressions of pain, making Dick and Lynne's exchange feel less nuanced and more like a scripted rant, which could alienate viewers seeking subtlety in character interactions.
  • The visual elements, such as Dick's black eye and stained shirt, effectively convey his downfall and add to the scene's gritty atmosphere, reinforcing the theme of consequences from his drunken antics. However, the setting description of Lynne's living room is minimal, lacking details that could immerse the audience in the lower-middle-class environment, such as specific props or lighting, which might make the scene feel static and less cinematic compared to the more dynamic visuals in adjacent scenes like the bar fight or 9/11 evacuation.
  • The scene's pacing is generally strong, escalating from Dick's apology to Lynne's outburst and culminating in his vow, but it could benefit from more varied rhythm—such as longer beats for Dick's reactions or moments of silence—to allow the audience to absorb the emotional weight. Additionally, Edna's brief interruption feels underdeveloped and comedic in a way that might undercut the seriousness of Lynne's tirade, potentially diluting the focus on the central conflict.
  • Overall, the scene succeeds in humanizing Dick Cheney by showing a low point in his life, which contrasts with his later rise to power, and it ties into the film's satirical tone by illustrating how personal failures can fuel ambition. However, it occasionally veers into heavy-handedness, which might reinforce the biopic's critique of Cheney's character but could also make the portrayal feel less balanced or empathetic, especially for viewers who might see Lynne's character as overly harsh without sufficient shading.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to incorporate more subtext and subtlety; for example, have Lynne imply her fears through indirect references or body language rather than stating them outright, to make the confrontation feel more natural and less expository.
  • Expand the flashback to Lynne's family trauma by adding a brief visual parallel to Dick's current state, such as intercutting with his black eye or the stains on his shirt, to strengthen the emotional connection and make it less abrupt, enhancing the scene's thematic depth.
  • Add more sensory details to the setting and character actions; describe the living room with elements like faded wallpaper or a ticking clock to heighten tension, and include physical gestures, such as Lynne pacing or Dick clutching his stomach, to show emotions visually and reduce reliance on dialogue.
  • Balance the tone by softening some of Lynne's harsher lines with moments of vulnerability, such as a brief pause where she shows fear rather than rage, to make her character more relatable and the scene less melodramatic, while still maintaining her strength.
  • Consider extending Edna's role slightly to add subtext or humor that ties into the family dynamics, perhaps by having her exit with a knowing look, to make her interruption feel more integral to the scene rather than a throwaway moment.
  • Improve pacing by incorporating varied shot lengths or cuts; for instance, use close-ups on Dick's face during his vow to emphasize his determination, and ensure the fade to black feels earned by building to a stronger emotional peak.
  • Ensure the scene transitions smoothly to the next by hinting at Dick's future resolve in his body language or a subtle visual cue, reinforcing the narrative arc without relying solely on the fade to black and quote, which could make the shift less jarring.



Scene 5 -  Rumsfeld's Rise: A Political Apprenticeship
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
EXT. NAVY AIR FIELD - DAY - 1956

SUPER 8 FOOTAGE: 24 YR OLD RUMSFELD, in front of a jet plane,
removes his helmet, waves to camera and smiles.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Most Congressmen used their power
like an axe, Rumsfeld used his like
a master of the Butterfly knives.

VT: We see expert hands flipping around a butterfly knife.
11.


NARRATOR (V.O.)
And like any master if you got in
his way, he would cut you.

VT: The knife slashes someone’s cheek. UNFREEZE: Rumsfeld
continues his speech.

DONALD RUMSFELD
Look, this is an opportunity. An
opportunity to work in the halls of
decision making for the most
powerful country in the goddamn
world. If that doesn’t give you a
hard on I don’t know what will.
Sorry to the few ladies in the
room. They used to not have girls
for this program... but now they
do. Anyway, I’m Don. Whatever you
do, don’t work for Bob over here.
He’s the most boring son of a bitch
in DC.

Bob chuckles, though it didn’t seem like good natured
ribbing.

DONALD RUMSFELD (CONT’D)
That’s it. Now scat! Go get a
Congressman a cup of coffee! And if
his wife calls, he’s always in a
meeting!

The STUDENT next to Dick turns to him. He’s got longish hair
and a mustache.

STUDENT
Hey, I’m Alan. You’re the other guy
from Wisconsin right?

DICK
That’s right...

STUDENT
One of us is supposed to start with
a Democrat, the other with a
Republican. Do you care if I go
with the Dem? I did a lot of work
with the DNC on campus.

DICK
What party was that guy we just
heard?
12.


STUDENT
(looking at the directory)
Rumsfeld is... a Republican.

DICK
Perfect. Because that’s what I am.


INT. RUMSFELD’S OFFICE - MONTHS LATER

Cheney knocks. Rumsfeld smoking a pipe, pours through papers.
He doesn’t answer. Cheney knocks again.

RUMSFELD
Don’t lurk! Come in dammit!

Cheney enters. Rumsfeld doesn’t look up as he talks to him.

DICK
It’s, uh Dick Cheney... Reporting
for work...

RUMSFELD
You’re Congressional relations for
my Office of Economic Opportunity.
And you’ll assist me in my job as
councillor to the President.

Cheney waits a beat.

RUMSFELD (CONT’D)
You want me to pin your mittens to
your sleeves so you don’t fucking
lose em? Go!

Cheney starts to leave.

RUMSFELD (CONT’D)
By the way Cheney, your two DUIs
showed up on your background check.
Don’t worry. I vouched for you.

DICK
Thank you sir.

RUMSFELD
Thanks are for when neighbor Dottie
pulls your pud for the first time.
You owe me.

DICK
Yes, sir.
13.


RUMSFELD
GO!

Cheney nervously exits.


INT. CONGRESSIONAL FLOOR

Montage of Cheney working for Rumsfeld 1) Flipping Cards for
a Congressional Committee 2) Flipping cards for Senators 3)
Talking to a WHITE HOUSE MEDIA ADVISOR, 30, in a hallway.

MEDIA CONSULTANT
You’re Rumsfeld’s lackey right?
Make sure he sees this.

FREEZE FRAME

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Roger Ailes, founder of FOX News.
He first pitched the idea as
conservative news when he worked
for Nixon as a media advisor.

UNFREEZE: Rumsfeld walks up as the Media Advisor leaves.

DICK CHENEY
Roger wants Nixon to start a
Republican TV news network.

Rumsfeld throws the memo in a waste basket.

RUMSFELD
Forget it. Roger knows TV. But he
doesn’t know politics.

4) Dick and Lynne having dinner with Rumsfeld and his wife.

LYNNE
So I would do this flaming baton
trick and Dick would wait around
with a bucket of water. So I’m at
the State Finals and I throw up the
baton....and it doesn’t come down.

RUMSFELD
Where have you been hiding her
Cheney!?

5) Flipping cards for Nixon in the Oval Office. 6) Flipping
cards for cabinet members.
14.
Genres: ["Biography","Drama","Political"]

Summary The scene begins with archival footage of a young Donald Rumsfeld at a navy air field, showcasing his charismatic yet intimidating personality. A narrator likens Rumsfeld's power to a master of butterfly knives, setting the tone for his aggressive demeanor. Rumsfeld delivers a crude, energetic speech to interns, while Dick Cheney nervously introduces himself and aligns with Rumsfeld politically. Months later, in Rumsfeld's office, Cheney starts his career under Rumsfeld's mentorship, where Rumsfeld's domineering nature is evident as he assigns tasks and mentions covering for Cheney's DUIs. A montage follows, depicting Cheney's integration into Washington politics, including interactions with Roger Ailes and social dinners, highlighting the complexities of their relationships and Rumsfeld's influence over Cheney.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Effective plot setup
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Subtle conflict progression
Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes Donald Rumsfeld's charismatic yet abrasive personality through his speech and interactions, which helps build his character as a manipulative figure in Cheney's rise to power. However, the heavy reliance on the narrator's voice-over to explain Rumsfeld's use of power (e.g., the butterfly knife metaphor) feels overly expository, potentially undermining the show's-don't-tell principle and making the audience less engaged with the visual storytelling.
  • Cheney's role in this scene is largely reactive; he responds to others rather than driving the action, which might be intentional to depict his early subservience, but it risks making him appear one-dimensional at this stage. Given the script's focus on Cheney's ascent, this passivity contrasts with his more assertive moments in later scenes, but it could benefit from subtle hints of his ambition to create a smoother character arc.
  • The montage sequence showcasing Cheney's work for Rumsfeld is a efficient way to compress time and show his rapid integration into political circles, including key interactions like the one with Roger Ailes. However, this montage feels rushed and lacks emotional depth, with quick cuts that might confuse viewers about the significance of each event, such as the dismissal of Ailes' TV network idea, which is important for thematic foreshadowing but isn't given enough weight.
  • Dialogue in the scene, particularly Rumsfeld's lines, is colorful and reveals his crude, dominant nature, which fits the satirical tone of the script. That said, some exchanges, like the student Alan's conversation with Cheney, come across as contrived and overly convenient for plot exposition (e.g., immediately assigning political parties), which could make the scene feel less organic and more like a setup for future events rather than a lived moment.
  • Visually, the use of Super 8 footage and VT effects (e.g., the butterfly knife flipping) adds a creative, archival feel that enhances the historical context and ties into the script's meta-narrative style. However, the abrupt transitions between these elements and the main action disrupt the flow, potentially alienating viewers who might struggle to connect the metaphors to the characters' motivations without the narrator's guidance.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the script's exploration of power dynamics and opportunity, linking back to Cheney's earlier reckless behavior in Scene 1-4 and foreshadowing his loyalty to Rumsfeld. Yet, the narrator's commentary on Cheney's debt to Rumsfeld overshadows character-driven revelations, which could dilute the impact of Cheney's personal growth and make the scene feel more like a history lesson than a dramatic sequence.
  • Pacing is generally strong for a montage-heavy scene, covering significant ground in a short screen time, but the lack of quieter moments or character introspection might prevent deeper emotional investment. For instance, Cheney's nervous exit after Rumsfeld's warning about owing him could be expanded to show internal conflict, better connecting to the familial and personal stakes established in previous scenes like the confrontation with Lynne.
  • Overall, while the scene successfully introduces key historical figures and sets up Cheney's professional trajectory, it leans too heavily on voice-over and rapid cuts, which can make it feel disjointed. This approach might work in a satirical biopic, but it risks reducing complex character interactions to bullet points, potentially weakening the audience's emotional connection to Cheney's journey.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtle visual cues or character actions to convey Rumsfeld's manipulative nature, reducing reliance on the narrator's voice-over; for example, show Rumsfeld using gestures or body language that mirror the butterfly knife metaphor during his speech.
  • Give Cheney more agency in his interactions, such as having him ask probing questions during his first meeting with Rumsfeld or showing a brief internal monologue to hint at his ambitions, to make his character arc feel more proactive and engaging.
  • Slow down the montage by selecting fewer, more impactful events and adding brief interstitials or voice-overs from Cheney himself to provide personal insight, ensuring each moment contributes directly to his development and ties back to themes from earlier scenes.
  • Refine dialogue to be less expository; for instance, have the student Alan's conversation with Cheney arise more naturally from shared experiences, or integrate Rumsfeld's reference to Cheney's DUIs into a larger discussion about loyalty and debt to avoid feeling like forced backstory.
  • Improve scene transitions by using fade-ins or establishing shots to clarify time jumps, such as a calendar flip or a quick cut to a changed setting, to help the audience follow the progression from 1956 to months later without confusion.
  • Balance the use of visual effects by ensuring they complement rather than dominate the action; for example, tie the butterfly knife VT more directly to a specific interaction, like Rumsfeld 'cutting' off a subordinate in conversation, to make it feel integral to the narrative.
  • Add a small moment of reflection or dialogue between Cheney and Lynne after the montage to connect his professional experiences back to his personal life, reinforcing the script's theme of how his career affects his family, as seen in Scene 4.
  • Consider tightening the narrator's role by reserving voice-over for critical thematic points, allowing more space for character-driven storytelling to build tension and depth, which could make the scene more immersive and less reliant on external explanation.



Scene 6 -  Loyalty and Pride in Power
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. WHITE HOUSE HALLWAY - DAY

Rumsfeld continues down the hallway. Cheney follows.

RUMSFELD
You’re quiet. I like that. You’re
not blabbing to everyone what cards
you have. I missed my flush draw a
month ago but everyone still thinks
I have pocket kings. Except maybe
fucking Haldeman.

DICK
I mostly play hearts so I’m not-

RUMSFELD
No, no, no.

FREEZE

NARRATOR (V.O.)
For a man like Donald Rumsfeld he
only wanted three things from his
lackey: he had to keep his mouth
shut, do what he was told and
always be loyal.

They stop by Rumsfeld’s office.

RUMSFELD
So is it a yes or a no?

Half beat.

DICK
It’s a yes.

RUMSFELD
You don’t even know what the
question is do you?

DICK
I, uh, I assume it was-

RUMSFELD
Good. That’s exactly the kind of
“yes” I was looking for.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Cheney had always been a so so
student and a mediocre athlete. But
now finally he had found his life's
calling, he would be a dedicated
and humble servant to power.
15.


INT. WHITE HOUSE - CHENEY’S OFFICE - DAY

Cheney enters his office. It’s basically a closet with a
desk, phone and a chair.

STAFFER
Here’s your new office. No windows.
But all you’d see is a bunch of
hippies flipping off Nixon.

He sits down and picks up his phone.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Now at this point you're probably
wondering who exactly I am.


INT. MIDDLE AMERICA HOME - 2011 - DAY

A DAD, 29 and MOM, 28 play with their SON, 2, on the couch.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Well my name is Kurt. My favorite
football team is the Steelers. And
me and my son love watching Sponge
Bob. And if you are wondering how I
know so much about Dick Cheney,
well let's just say we are kind of
related... We’ll get to that later.

BACK TO:


INT. WHITE HOUSE CHENEY’S OFFICE

Dick is talking to Lynne on the phone and beaming with pride.

DICK
Lynnie... guess where I’m calling
from?


INT. SMALL APARTMENT IN D.C. - SAME TIME

Lynne is on the phone holding her new BABY MARY while LIZ,
now 3 plays in the background with the TV on.

Intercut phone call:

LYNNE
I am so damn proud of you right now
Dick Cheney... I knew I picked the
right man. I knew it even when I
didn’t...
16.


DICK
We did it.

LYNNE
Have you seen Nixon?

DICK
I did. I met him. Shook his hand.
That impish smile of his.

FLASH TO ACTUAL STILL of Nixon with an odd smile posing for
camera.

DICK (CONT’D)
Pardon my French, but it’s the best
fucking feeling in the world.

LYNNE
I am so proud of you.

DICK
I love you.

LYNNE
WE are proud of you. Your girls are
proud of you.
(to girls)
Are you proud of your Daddy?

YOUNG LIZ
Yes!
Genres: ["Biography","Drama"]

Summary In a White House hallway, Donald Rumsfeld praises Dick Cheney's discretion with a poker metaphor, testing his loyalty with a yes-or-no question that Cheney agrees to without knowing the details. This pleases Rumsfeld, highlighting Cheney's role as a servant to power. The scene shifts to Cheney's new office, where he shares a proud moment with his wife Lynne over the phone, expressing excitement about his position and meeting President Nixon. The narrator, Kurt, provides commentary on his family life in 2011, intercutting with Cheney's conversation with Lynne, who affirms the family's pride in his achievements.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Emotional depth
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Seamless transitions between time periods and locations
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of supporting characters
  • Some transitions may be abrupt or disorienting
Critique
  • The scene effectively continues the theme of Dick Cheney's rise to power and his subservient relationship with Donald Rumsfeld, using the poker metaphor to cleverly illustrate themes of deception and strategic silence. This helps reinforce Cheney's character arc as a 'servant to power,' making it accessible for readers unfamiliar with his backstory, but it risks feeling overly expository, as the narrator's voice-over explicitly states what could be shown through subtle character interactions.
  • The freeze-frame technique with the narrator's voice-over provides thematic depth by contrasting the chaos of power dynamics with Cheney's opportunistic mindset, which aligns with the script's satirical tone. However, this interruption can disrupt the scene's momentum, pulling the audience out of the immersive present and potentially confusing viewers if not handled with precise timing, as it shifts focus from action to direct exposition.
  • The intercut to the narrator's 2011 life introduces a meta-narrative element that humanizes the storyteller and builds intrigue about his connection to Cheney, which is a strength in maintaining the script's non-linear style. That said, it feels somewhat disjointed and abrupt, as it diverts attention from the 1970s setting without clear narrative purpose in this specific scene, which might dilute the emotional intensity of Cheney's professional and personal triumphs.
  • Dialogue in the scene, particularly between Rumsfeld and Cheney, is sharp and revealing, showcasing Rumsfeld's domineering personality and Cheney's compliance, which effectively builds their dynamic. However, it occasionally borders on telling rather than showing, such as when Cheney simply agrees without hesitation, which could benefit from more nuanced reactions to convey his internal conflict or growth, making the character more relatable and less one-dimensional.
  • The visual elements, like the small, windowless office and the flash to Nixon's photo, are economical and symbolic, emphasizing Cheney's humble beginnings in power. Yet, the scene lacks vivid descriptive details that could enhance atmosphere and emotional resonance, such as specific lighting, body language, or environmental cues that reflect Cheney's anxiety or pride, potentially making the scene feel static and overly reliant on dialogue and voice-over.
  • Overall, the scene successfully transitions from professional to personal spheres, humanizing Cheney through his call with Lynne and highlighting family support as a motivator. However, the blend of historical and modern timelines might confuse audiences if not clearly signposted, and it could deepen emotional stakes by exploring Cheney's vulnerabilities more explicitly, ensuring the critique balances the script's informative style with engaging storytelling.
Suggestions
  • Integrate the narrator's voice-over more seamlessly by reducing the freeze-frame duration or embedding the exposition into ongoing action, such as through Rumsfeld's behavior implying his expectations rather than stating them outright, to maintain narrative flow and reduce didacticism.
  • Refine the intercut to the 2011 narrator sequence by shortening it or relocating it to a dedicated scene earlier in the script, allowing this scene to focus on Cheney's 1970s experiences without temporal disruption, and build suspense about the narrator's connection gradually.
  • Enhance dialogue and character interactions by adding subtext or hesitation in Cheney's responses to Rumsfeld's question, perhaps showing a brief flash of doubt or a physical tell (e.g., a nervous tic), to make his agreement more dynamic and reveal his internal motivations without relying on voice-over.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements, such as close-ups on Cheney's face during the phone call with Lynne or symbolic objects in his office (e.g., a family photo or a memento from his past), to convey emotions and themes more vividly, reducing dependence on expository narration and making the scene more cinematic.
  • Strengthen thematic connections by linking the poker metaphor to future events in Cheney's career, perhaps with a subtle foreshadowing element, to create anticipation and tie the scene into the larger narrative arc of power and manipulation.
  • Consider adding a moment of conflict or tension in the personal phone call, such as Lynne referencing Cheney's recent struggles (from previous scenes), to heighten emotional stakes and make the scene more engaging, while ensuring transitions between settings are smooth with clear indicators of time shifts.



Scene 7 -  The Weight of Power
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. WHITE HOUSE HALLWAY - DAY

Rumsfeld and Cheney are walking down a hallway.

DICK
Now that I’m not just flipping
cards, I have a few ideas--

RUMSFELD
(suddenly)
Stop.

They both stop.

RUMSFELD (CONT’D)
You see that door?

He motions to an office door.

DICK
Isn’t that Kissinger’s office?
17.


RUMSFELD
Yes, but I happen to know that
Nixon’s in there right now. Now why
would Nixon not meet Kissinger in
the Oval Office?

DICK
He’s having a conversation he
doesn’t want to go on the record?

RUMSFELD
Very good.

DICK
What’s the conversation?

RUMSFELD
They’re going to bomb Cambodia.

DICK
That’s impossible. That would have
to be approved by Congress and I’m
over there every day-

RUMSFELD
Fuck Congress. Unless you’re in it.
Then it’s the greatest deliberative
body on earth. But we’re not, so
fuck it.

DICK
I thought the President campaigned
on ending the war?

RUMSFELD
Shhhh. Listen to me...

GLANCING PIECES OF NIXON AND KISSINGER TALKING: A cigarette
being put out in an ash tray. A polished shoe tapping, etc.

RUMSFELD (V.O.)
Because of the conversation Nixon
and Kissinger are having right
behind this door, five feet away
from us... in a few days, 10
thousand miles away...


EXT. CAMBODIAN VILLAGE - DAY - SAME TIME

A peaceful Cambodian Village goes about it’s day to day life.
We hear a WHISTLING SOUND far above.
18.


RUMSFELD (V.O.)
... a rain of 750 pound bombs
dropped from B-52s flying at twenty
thousand feet will hit villages and
towns across Cambodia...thousands
will die and the world will change
either for the worse or the better.

We SNAP BACK TO THE HALLWAY. Cheney enthralled by the sense
of power and reach Rumsfeld is expressing.

RUMSFELD
That’s the kind of power that
exists in this squat little ugly
building. But screw Kissinger, he’s
over rated. Come on!

MASSIVE EXPLOSION. WE SEE BLOOD AND LIMBS AND HEAR SCREAMS
JUST FOR A SPLIT SECOND, THEN CUT BACK to Cheney still
looking at the office door.


INT. WHITE HOUSE HALLWAY - RUMSFELD’S OFFICE - LATER

Dick is struggling to ask Rumsfeld a question.

DICK
So, uh, what do we... I mean are we
against spending, or are we, uh...

RUMSFELD
Come on... Out with it!

DICK
What do we, uh, believe?

Rumsfeld starts to laugh and then laugh harder and harder.

RUMSFELD
“What do we believe?” Good one
Cheney! Good one!

He slams his door shut leaving Cheney standing in the
hallway.

CUT TO:


EXT. BACK YARD - BETHESDA, MARYLAND - 1973

Dick teaches the girls how to string worms on a fish hook.
19.


DICK
We find out what the fish wants,
and in this case it’s a worm, and
then we use it to catch them.

8YR OLD LIZ
So is it a good trick we’re
playing?

DICK
It’s not good or bad. It’s fishing.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Dick had taken a job as a political
consultant for a large financial
firm, where he was finally making
good money. He took the job because
Nixon’s inner circle had had enough
of Donald Rumsfeld.


INT. CHENEY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT - 1973

Dick and Lynne have just been awoken by the phone. They are
dazed and tired.

RUMSFELD
(on the phone)
I’m out. They’re sending me to
Brussels.

DICK
Wait, what?
Genres: ["Political Drama","Historical"]

Summary In this scene, Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney walk through the White House, where Rumsfeld reveals Nixon's secret plan to bomb Cambodia without Congressional approval, showcasing the executive branch's power. Cheney is both surprised and captivated by this display of authority. The scene shifts to a Cambodian village being bombed, highlighting the global consequences of such actions. Later, in 1973, Cheney is seen teaching his daughters about strategy while reflecting on his political career, before receiving a phone call from Rumsfeld announcing his new assignment in Brussels.
Strengths
  • Complex characters
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Intriguing power dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual descriptions
  • Some abrupt transitions
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the theme of unchecked executive power through the dramatic contrast between the casual conversation in the White House hallway and the devastating bombing in Cambodia. This juxtaposition highlights the far-reaching consequences of political decisions, immersing the audience in the moral ambiguity and human cost, which aligns well with the script's overall critique of Dick Cheney's rise and the abuse of power. However, the rapid shifts in location and time—moving from the hallway to Cambodia, back to the hallway, then to Rumsfeld's office, the backyard, and finally the bedroom—can feel abrupt and disjointed, potentially confusing viewers and diluting the emotional impact of each segment. Smoother transitions could help maintain narrative flow and allow the audience to fully absorb the gravity of the events.
  • Character development is a mixed bag; Rumsfeld is portrayed with sharp, memorable dialogue that reinforces his domineering personality, making him a compelling antagonist figure. Cheney's fascination with power is shown through his enthralled reaction, but his character comes across as somewhat passive and one-dimensional in this scene, especially when he struggles to articulate his question about beliefs. This moment could be an opportunity to delve deeper into Cheney's internal conflict or ambition, but it's undercut by Rumsfeld's mockery, which feels abrupt and leaves Cheney's arc underdeveloped. Additionally, the family scenes in Bethesda and the bedroom introduce a personal side to Cheney, but they lack strong integration with the political intrigue, making the shift feel tacked on rather than organic.
  • The use of voice-over narration is heavy-handed here, providing exposition about Cheney's job change and the context of Rumsfeld's reassignment. While it serves to connect the dots for the audience, it risks telling rather than showing, which can reduce dramatic tension and make the scene feel more like a history lesson than a cinematic moment. The visual of the Cambodian bombing is powerful and visceral, effectively conveying horror, but it's brief and could be expanded to heighten the emotional stakes without overwhelming the scene. The fishing metaphor in the backyard is a nice symbolic touch, illustrating manipulation and strategy, but it might not resonate clearly if not tied more explicitly to the themes of power and deception established earlier.
  • Pacing issues arise from the scene's structure, which packs multiple ideas—Cheney's awe at executive power, his professional doubts, family life, and a career pivot—into a short span. This can make the scene feel crowded and rushed, especially in a script that already features frequent jumps in time and location across scenes. The tone shifts from tense and ominous in the hallway to darkly humorous in Rumsfeld's office and then to mundane domesticity in the bedroom, which mirrors the script's overall style but can disrupt emotional continuity. Finally, the ending with the phone call from Rumsfeld feels like a cliffhanger, but it doesn't fully resolve the scene's conflicts, leaving the audience with a sense of incompleteness that might work in context but could benefit from stronger closure or foreshadowing.
  • In terms of dialogue, Rumsfeld's lines are punchy and revealing, effectively conveying his cynicism and control, but Cheney's dialogue is stilted and repetitive, with phrases like 'What do we believe?' feeling awkward and underdeveloped. This could be an opportunity to show Cheney's intelligence and ambition more subtly, perhaps through nonverbal cues or subtext. The narrator's voice-over, while informative, overlaps with visual elements in a way that might redundantly explain what the audience can infer, potentially patronizing viewers or slowing the pace. Overall, the scene advances the plot by illustrating Cheney's indoctrination into a world of ruthless power dynamics, but it could be more engaging by balancing exposition with character-driven moments and ensuring thematic elements are woven more seamlessly into the action.
Suggestions
  • Improve scene transitions by using visual or auditory cues, such as fading to black or employing sound bridges (e.g., the whistling bomb sound carrying over), to make the jumps between locations less jarring and more fluid, helping the audience track the narrative shifts.
  • Deepen Cheney's character portrayal by adding internal monologue or subtle physical reactions during key moments, like his enthralment with the bombing description, to convey his evolving mindset without relying solely on voice-over, making him a more relatable and complex figure.
  • Reduce the use of narrator voice-over by incorporating more show-don't-tell elements; for instance, extend the Cambodian bombing sequence with character reactions or integrate the fishing metaphor more directly into the political dialogue to make it a visual representation of strategy rather than an explained concept.
  • Tighten the pacing by consolidating the family scenes or linking them more explicitly to the main action; for example, have the fishing lesson serve as a direct parallel to the Cambodia discussion, emphasizing how Cheney applies manipulative tactics in both personal and professional contexts.
  • Enhance dialogue and conflict resolution by giving Cheney more assertive lines or a clearer arc in his interaction with Rumsfeld, such as having him reflect on the power dynamics after being mocked, to build tension and provide a stronger emotional payoff, ensuring the scene feels dynamic and character-driven rather than expository.



Scene 8 -  Shadows of Power
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. RUMSFELD’S OFFICE - SAME TIME - NIGHT

Rumsfeld is tearing up papers and throwing them out.

RUMSFELD
Nixon’s making me permanent
ambassador to NATO. It’s a fuck off
assignment. Kissinger and Haldeman
won. Come with me.

DICK
I have a four and a seven year old.

LYNNE
Tell Don we’re not moving just
because everyone at the White House
hates him!
20.


RUMSFELD
Good boy. I taught you well these
past few years.

DICK
I’m sorry, Don. I really am.

RUMSFELD
Don’t worry. I’m like bed bugs. You
gotta burn the mattress to get rid
of me!

Don hangs up.

CUT BACK TO:


EXT. BACK YARD - BETHESDA, MARYLAND - 1973

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Dick was becoming sharper and
sharper as a D.C. insider, and
Lynne had started to write articles
and explore ideas for her first
novel.

Lynne walks out across the backyard looking ashen.

LYNNE
Dick?... Something terrible has
happened...

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Then, she received news from back
home in Casper.


EXT. LAKE IN CASPER, WYOMING - DAY

By a LARGE LAKE there is a car with both doors left open, a
purse scattered all over and two Dachshunds running around
loose. Police Cars pull up in SLO MO with sirens blaring.

NARRATOR
Lynne’s mother Edna, who had
avoided the water her whole life,
was found drowned in the local
Caspar Lake. They said her and
Wayne, Lynne’s Dad, had had a nasty
argument an hour before.
21.


EXT. CHENEY HOME IN MARYLAND 1973

Dick holds Lynne in his arms.

LYNNE
(in shock)
She doesn’t swim, Dick. My Mother
doesn’t swim. She never swam.


EXT. GRAVE YARD - FUNERAL - DAY

About 20 MOURNERS including Lynne, Dick, Dick’s parents, Liz
and Mary and yes, Wayne, Lynne’s Father listen to a priest
read from the Bible as a coffin is lowered into the ground.

NARRATOR
There was never a serious
investigation into Lynne's Mom's
death.

THE FUNERAL HAS ENDED. WAYNE IS TRYING TO DO A HANDSTAND FOR
LIZ AND MARY. Lynne stops him.

LYNNE
Dad...Dad...

Dick walks over.

DICK
Girls, Lynne. Why don’t you go to
the car.

LYNNE
(raspy from crying)
Come on. Listen to your Father.

They leave. Dick is intense.

WAYNE
Heya Dick. You catching any fish?

THERE IS A RESOLUTE LOOK IN DICK’S EYES. He stares at Wayne.

WAYNE (CONT’D)
How’s it going in DC?

DICK
Don’t ever go near my daughters or
my wife again.

A tense beat. Then Wayne finally walks away.
22.


WAYNE
(yells)
Big shot! Big shot in D.C. Dick!

Dick stares straight ahead. He has a resolute quiet power
about him. He can feel it.

CUT TO:


INT. WHITE HOUSE OFFICE - 2003 - MORNING

CLOSE UP: a basket of plain brown donuts, flaking croissants
and one GLORIOUS DANISH WITH A BRIGHT YELLOW CENTER.

HANDS REACH IN and take a few brown donuts, a croissant. BUT
THEY STAY AWAY FROM THE DANISH WITH THE YELLOW CENTER.

Finally, Cheney TAKES THE LARGE TREAT. FOUR WHITE MEN IN
SUITS (CIA AGENT, SCOOTER LIBBY, DAVID ADDINGTON AND PAUL
WOLFOWITZ) ages 35 to 55, all wait for him to speak. The room
is his.

DICK
So what do you got?

The Unseen Man’s hand flips through papers marked CLASSIFIED.

CIA AGENT
(slightly nervous)
Hassan Mustafa Nasr. A cleric based
in Milan, Italy. He’s a member of
Al-Gama’s al-Islamiyya, the group
that killed Anwar Sadat.

SCOOTER LIBBY
That’s the blind sheik, right?

CIA AGENT
There’s some debate at Langley on
whether they’re a threat or not.
They claim to be peaceful now.

He holds up the danish he’s eating.

DICK
I “claim” to be eating healthy.

Everyone laughs a bit too hard.

DICK (CONT’D)
Okay... pick him up.
23.


EXT. STREET IN MILAN - DAY

POV: A DOOR OF A VAN SLAMS OPEN: A CLERIC, 40, with beard,
wearing a Muslim taqiyah (cap) walks down an Italian street.
THREE MEN IN ALL BLACK JUMP OUT, CHASE HIM DOWN AND PULL HIM
INTO THE VAN IN A MATTER OF SECONDS.

CLERIC
NOO! Help! Help me!

QUICK CUTS: 1. Scissors slice off the Cleric’s clothes 2. He
is struck hard in the face 3. A black hood is put over his
terrified bloodied face. 4. A diaper is then put on him.

THE VAN DRIVES AWAY.

BACK TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Political Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, spanning from 1973 to 2003, tensions rise as Donald Rumsfeld angrily informs Dick Cheney of his reassignment to NATO, which Cheney declines due to family obligations. The narrative shifts to the tragic drowning of Lynne Cheney's mother, Edna, leading to family conflict at her funeral, where Dick confronts Lynne's erratic father, Wayne. The scene then jumps to 2003, where Cheney, now a powerful figure, orders the abduction of an Islamic cleric, showcasing the ruthless efficiency of his decisions. The emotional tone shifts from frustration and grief to authoritative control, culminating in a tense abduction sequence.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension-building
  • Power dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Sudden transitions
  • Lack of resolution on certain plot points
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses juxtaposition to contrast Dick Cheney's professional challenges with personal tragedy, highlighting his emotional growth and resolve. For instance, the sequence begins with Rumsfeld's angry reassignment, establishing themes of political loyalty and betrayal, and transitions to Lynne's mother's death, which adds depth to Lynne's character and foreshadows Cheney's increasing determination. This structure helps build Cheney's arc from a hesitant figure to one with 'resolute quiet power,' making it a pivotal moment in his development. However, the rapid time jumps—from 1973 to a flashback of the drowning and then to 2003—can feel disjointed, potentially confusing viewers and diluting the emotional impact of each segment. The narrator's voice-over is heavily relied upon to provide context, which might make the scene feel more like a history lesson than a cinematic experience, reducing immersion.
  • Character interactions are strong in moments like the confrontation with Wayne at the funeral, where Dick's warning showcases his growing assertiveness, tying back to earlier scenes of his personal struggles. Lynne's reaction to her mother's death humanizes her and reinforces the theme of family influence on ambition. However, the dialogue in the opening phone call with Rumsfeld feels somewhat caricatured, with lines like 'I’m like bed bugs' coming across as overly comedic and not fully integrated with the scene's serious tone, which could undermine the gravity of Rumsfeld's character. Additionally, the 2003 segment introducing the cleric's abduction shifts the focus abruptly to action without sufficient buildup, making it seem tacked on and disrupting the narrative flow from the personal story in 1973.
  • Visually, the scene has striking elements, such as the slow-motion police arrival at the lake and the efficient, brutal abduction in Milan, which effectively convey chaos and power dynamics. These visuals support the theme of unchecked authority, a recurring motif in the script. That said, the funeral scene lacks deeper emotional exploration; for example, Wayne's handstand attempt is Played for dark humor but could benefit from more nuanced handling to emphasize the family's trauma. The jump to 2003 feels unearned, as it doesn't directly connect to the preceding events, potentially alienating viewers who expect a more linear progression after the intimate family moments. Overall, while the scene advances Cheney's character and thematic elements, its ambitious scope in a single scene risks overwhelming the audience with too many shifts in time and tone.
Suggestions
  • Smooth the time transitions by using visual or auditory cues, such as a fade or a recurring motif (e.g., a phone ringing) to link the 1973 segments more fluidly to the 2003 jump, reducing disorientation and maintaining emotional continuity.
  • Reduce reliance on the narrator's voice-over by incorporating more show-don't-tell elements, such as subtle character reactions or symbolic actions that convey Lynne's grief and Cheney's resolve, allowing the audience to infer context and deepening emotional engagement.
  • Enhance the funeral scene's emotional depth by adding sensory details or a longer beat on Lynne's reaction, perhaps including a flashback or internal monologue to connect it more explicitly to her ultimatum in scene 4, strengthening character arcs and thematic resonance.
  • Refine the dialogue in the Rumsfeld phone call to balance humor and seriousness, ensuring it aligns with the scene's tone; for example, make Rumsfeld's 'bed bugs' line more ironic or tied to his personality to avoid it feeling gratuitous.
  • Integrate the 2003 abduction more cohesively by adding a brief bridge or voice-over hint that foreshadows Cheney's future use of power, ensuring it feels like a natural evolution from his 1973 experiences rather than a abrupt shift.



Scene 9 -  Opportunistic Ambitions: The Rise of Cheney and Rumsfeld
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. OFFICE - 2003 - MORNING

DICK
What’s the next name?

CIA AGENT
Well Mr. Vice President, there’s
been some chatter about an
engineering student in Berlin...

FADE TO BLACK

RICHARD NIXON (V.O.)
I have never been a quitter.


INT. CHENEY’S LIVING ROOM - 1974 - DAY

TV in the Cheney’s living room shows Nixon resigning as
President.

RICHARD NIXON (SOT)
But I must put the interests of the
nation first...

DICK
Nixon forgot the voice activated
recorders were there. He got
sloppy.

LIZ
Mom, is the President being
punished?
24.


LYNNE
The President has a lot of enemies.
Never forget Lizzy: when you get
power they always try and take it
from you. Always.

LIZ
Yes M’am.

Dick dials the phone.

DICK
Donald Rumsfeld please...

LYNNE
I can’t believe this, this is our
President. This is a tragedy!

DICK
I actually think this could be
very, very good news.

MUSIC: Kicking 70’s horns come in. This is starting to feel
like good news.


EXT. DULLES PARKING LOT - SAME TIME

Rumsfeld gets into Cheney’s beat up black VW Bug in the
airport parking lot. Both toss their cigarettes.

RUMSFELD
What’s your read on things?

DICK
The way I see it, any Republican
not touched by Watergate is golden
right now.

RUMSFELD
Nice. Ford called me right before
my flight took off.
(sees black bug)
You’re still driving this chick
magnet, huh?

CHENEY
You can always take the bus.

CLOSE UP ON TELEVISION.
25.


RICHARD NIXON (SOT)
Effective immediately I will resign
the Presidency of the United States
and Vice President Ford will be
sworn in tomorrow at noon.


INT. VW BUG - PENNSYLVANIA AVE - SAME TIME

Both are smoking again as they pull up to the White House.

RUMSFELD
So what’s the plan?

DICK
The plan? Well the plan is to take
over the damn place...

RUMSFELD
Who lit a fire under your ass?

DICK
I haven’t flipped cards in a long
time Don.


INT. RUMSFELD’S NEW OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

RUMSFELD CLOSES THE DOOR TO HIS BIG NEW OFFICE.

RUMSFELD
They gave me the damn keys to the
palace!

He pours two Glenlivet neats.

RUMSFELD (CONT’D)
Chief of Staff.

DICK
Holy shit. You salty son of a
bitch. You did it.

They clink and drink.

RUMSFELD
Now we have work to do. Kissinger
is trying to kiss and make up with
the Soviets.

DICK
Well, let’s make sure that shit
doesn’t happen.
26.


RUMSFELD
(laughing)
Yeah. Yeah.


INT. OVAL OFFICE - WHITE HOUSE - SAME TIME

Ford talks with Kissinger, Rumsfeld and Cheney.

CHENEY
If I may, I believe I may have a
way to put an ore in the water, on
Russia. What if-

KISSINGER
Mr. President-

FORD
Come on Henry let’s hear Dick out.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
One of Dick Cheney’s super powers,
was the ability to make the most
wild and extreme ideas sound
measured and professional.

DICK
What if on a unilateral basis, we
all put miniature wigs on our
penises, and we walked out to the
White House lawn, and we jerked
each other off. So, like a puppet
show, but much more enjoyable?

Long pause. Rumsfeld smiles a sly grin.

KISSINGER
I do like a good puppet show.

FORD
I say we do it!

MORE MEMOS THROWN IN THE GARBAGE, PHONES HUNG UP, NAMES
CROSSED OFF MEETING LISTS, LINES ON MEMOS REWRITTEN.

RADIO NEWS MONTAGE (V.O.)
They’re calling it the Halloween
Massacre. Donald Rumsfeld has
replaced Secretary of Defense James
Slessinger. And Dick Cheney has
been chosen as the--
27.
Genres: ["Political Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a satirical scene set in 1974, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld seize the political chaos following Nixon's resignation to advance their ambitions. Cheney reflects on Nixon's mistakes while discussing power dynamics with his family. Meeting Rumsfeld at Dulles Airport, they plot to capitalize on the Republican opportunity post-Watergate. In the Oval Office, Cheney humorously suggests an absurd metaphor for bold action, which is accepted by President Ford. The scene culminates in a montage of political maneuvering, leading to the 'Halloween Massacre' where Rumsfeld and Cheney secure key positions in the administration.
Strengths
  • Strategic dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some abrupt transitions
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the opportunistic essence of Dick Cheney's character, showing his quick pivot from Nixon's downfall to personal gain, which aligns with the film's satirical tone and helps build his arc as a power-hungry figure. However, the rapid time jumps—from 2003 back to 1974 and then through various locations—can feel disjointed, potentially confusing viewers who are not already familiar with the historical context. This lack of smooth transitions might dilute the emotional impact and make the scene feel more like a series of vignettes than a cohesive narrative unit, which could be improved by better integrating the fade to black and voiceover elements to maintain narrative flow.
  • Dialogue in the scene is often on-the-nose and expository, such as Lynne's line about 'enemies trying to take power away,' which feels like it's directly telling the audience about themes rather than showing them through action or subtext. This can make characters seem like mouthpieces for the script's ideas rather than fully realized individuals. Additionally, Cheney's absurd suggestion about putting wigs on penises is humorous and fits the satire, but it risks coming across as overly cartoonish or juvenile, which might undermine the gravity of the historical events being depicted and the film's overall critique of political machinations.
  • The visual elements, like the montage of administrative changes and the radio news voiceover, are strong in conveying the chaos and speed of political shifts, effectively illustrating the 'Halloween Massacre.' However, the scene relies heavily on voiceover and direct exposition (e.g., Nixon's speech and the narrator's absence in this scene, but implied from context) to drive the story, which can make it feel less cinematic. More opportunities for visual storytelling, such as showing Cheney's internal excitement through subtle actions or reactions, could enhance engagement and allow the audience to infer motivations rather than being told them outright.
  • In terms of character development, the scene highlights Cheney's relationship with Rumsfeld and his family, but it doesn't delve deeply into his personal stakes or conflicts. For instance, while Cheney's line 'I haven’t flipped cards in a long time' references his past, it could be expanded to show more growth or contrast with earlier scenes, making his transformation feel more earned. The humorous elements, like the penis wig idea, add levity but might overshadow subtler aspects of his personality, such as his calculated ambition, which is crucial for understanding his long-term trajectory in the script.
  • Overall, as part of a larger biopic, the scene successfully advances the plot by establishing Cheney's rise under Ford, but it could better tie into the preceding scenes (e.g., Scene 8's family tragedy and abduction) and foreshadow future events. The tone shifts abruptly between serious reflection on Nixon's resignation and comedic absurdity, which might not serve the film's cohesive narrative voice, potentially alienating viewers if the satire isn't balanced with moments of genuine drama or introspection.
Suggestions
  • Smooth out time transitions by using visual or auditory bridges, such as crossfading between the 2003 office and the 1974 living room with Nixon's voiceover, or incorporating symbolic imagery (e.g., a clock ticking or a newspaper headline) to make jumps less jarring and more intuitive for the audience.
  • Refine dialogue to be more subtle and character-driven; for example, show Lynne's wisdom about power through her actions or a quieter moment rather than direct statements, and make Cheney's humorous ideas less explicit by grounding them in his personality, perhaps by hinting at the absurdity through facial expressions or buildup to maintain satirical edge without overstatement.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling to reduce reliance on exposition; add close-ups of Cheney's reactions during Nixon's speech to convey his opportunism, or use the montage sequence to intercut with personal moments (e.g., family life) to humanize him, making the scene more dynamic and engaging while reinforcing themes.
  • Deepen character interactions by adding layers to relationships; for instance, expand the phone call with Rumsfeld to include a brief flashback or reference to their shared history from previous scenes, helping to build emotional depth and show evolution in their dynamic, which could make Cheney's loyalty and ambition feel more nuanced.
  • Balance the tone by ensuring humorous elements serve the satire without eclipsing serious themes; consider toning down the absurdity in the Oval Office scene or juxtaposing it with a more reflective moment, such as Cheney's solitary thought, to create contrast and allow the audience to connect with the historical gravity while maintaining the film's comedic critique.



Scene 10 -  Power and Disappointment
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. CHENEY’S NEW OFFICE - DAY - NOVEMBER, 1975

Lynne spins around her husband’s well appointed office.

LYNNE
--the youngest Chief of Staff in
history! It’s like a dream.

DICK
It’s real. And Don is the youngest
Secretary of Defense ever.

LYNNE
Well, I’m not talking about Don,
I’m talking about you. And I’m
going to give you a kiss, right her
in the White House.

She holds Dick. They kiss.

A SECRET SERVICE AGENT peeks in the door with Liz and Mary in
tow.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT
Excuse me Mr. and Mrs. Cheney.
These girls tried to enter the Oval
Office.

They run into Dick’s arms.

DICK
Oh dear!

LYNNE
Girls this is not a playground,
please do not--

MARY
Daddy! Is this where Santa lives?

DICK
Better than Santa. It’s where the
leader of the greatest nation on
earth lives!

MARY
Are you one of his elves Daddy?

DICK
In a way, yes.

LYNNE
No he’s not Mary. Your Father is
Chief of Staff. Chief. Of Staff.
(MORE)
28.

LYNNE (CONT'D)
(to him)
Dick, if you’re silly with her
she’ll grow up to be a silly woman.

DICK
Right of course, I forgot, that’s
just silly, Mary.


INT. OFFICE OF LEGAL COUNSEL - DOJ - THE NEXT DAY

Cheney talks to a YOUNG LAWYER at the OLC.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And as the new Chief of Staff and
with the Presidency weakened by
Watergate, Dick Cheney wanted to
find out exactly how much power did
the President have.

DICK
I would like to reinstate Executive
Authority. How?

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Antonin Scalia, a young lawyer with
the justice department who would
later go on to serve on the Supreme
Court, rocked Dick’s world.

YOUNG LAWYER
Have you heard of the theory of the
unitary executive?

DICK
No, tell me about it.

YOUNG LAWYER
It’s an interpretation a few, like
myself happen to believe, of
Article two of the Constitution
that vests the President with
absolute executive authority. And I
mean absolute.

Cheney and Scalia both smile. This is what Cheney has been
looking for.

MUSIC: GLORIOUS ORCHESTRAL STING.

VT footage of a Lion chasing a gazelle and catching it.
29.


INT. MIDDLE AMERICA HOME - DAY

Narrator Dad plays with his son on the floor.

NARRATOR
(to wife)
Honey, you wanna get Cole up to the
high chair? I gotta explain this to
the people.

WIFE
(picking up son)
Come on buddy!

IMAGES OF THE WHITE HOUSE, THE SCALES OF JUSTICE AND SOLDIERS
AT WAR.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
The Unitary Executive Theory.
Certain legal scholars believe that
if the President does anything it
must be legal because it’s the
President. To hell with checks and
balances, especially during times
of war. This was the power of
kings, pharaohs, dictators,

FREEZE ON DICK CHENEY

NARRATOR
Dick Cheney was a foot soldier in
the power games of Washington DC,
but with the Unitary Executive
Theory, he could become Galactus,
devourer of planets,

Image of the super villain... GALACTUS

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
But then it was Election Day and
there was one big problem...


INT. RESIDENTIAL QUARTERS - WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT

Ford, Betty Ford, Cheney, Lynne, Rumsfeld watch the returns
on ABC NEWS with BARBARA WALTERS and HARRY REASONER. Cheney
is chain smoking. They all sip cocktails.

TV SCREEN reports Carter winning presidential election
30.


BARBARA WALTERS (SOT)
...Which means that Jimmy Carter is
the next President of the United
States.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And just like that it was all over.

LYNNE
That can’t be right. It got to be
some sort of a mistake.

RUMSFELD
Well...there goes the neighborhood.

FORD
(his voice is horse)
Thank you everybody.

TV REPORTER (V.O.)
The Republicans have lost the
Presidency, they are the minority
in Congress and in most states.
With America demanding change, I
don’t see a future for the GOP.
They are the party of the past.
Genres: ["Drama","Political"]

Summary In November 1975, Dick Cheney celebrates becoming the youngest Chief of Staff with his wife Lynne, who emphasizes the seriousness of his role. Their daughters, Liz and Mary, bring a lighthearted moment, but the tone shifts as Cheney seeks to understand presidential power through a discussion with young lawyer Antonin Scalia about the Unitary Executive Theory, which excites him. The scene concludes on election night with Cheney and other political figures watching in disbelief as Jimmy Carter wins the presidency, signaling a troubling future for the Republican Party.
Strengths
  • Rich character development
  • Effective portrayal of power dynamics
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the personal triumph of Dick Cheney's appointment as Chief of Staff, contrasting it with the broader political themes of executive power and eventual setback, which mirrors the film's overall narrative of Cheney's rise and fall. However, the rapid shifts in location and time—starting in Cheney's office, moving to the DOJ, then to the narrator's home, and ending in the White House residential quarters—can feel disjointed, potentially disrupting the audience's immersion and making the scene seem like a collection of vignettes rather than a cohesive unit. This fragmentation might dilute the emotional impact, especially since the script already employs frequent cuts across scenes, and Scene 10 could benefit from stronger transitional elements to maintain flow.
  • Character development is uneven here. Lynne Cheney's stern correction of Dick's humor with their daughter Mary reinforces her role as a grounding force, which is consistent with earlier scenes, but it comes across as overly didactic and could alienate viewers if it feels too scripted. Similarly, the daughters' brief appearance adds a touch of levity but lacks depth, serving more as a device to humanize Cheney rather than advancing their individual arcs or the family dynamics established in prior scenes, such as the grief over Lynne's mother in Scene 8. This risks reducing them to symbolic elements rather than fully fleshed-out characters, which might weaken the emotional resonance in a film that balances personal and political spheres.
  • The dialogue, particularly in the family interactions and the explanation of the Unitary Executive Theory, borders on expository, with lines like 'Your Father is Chief of Staff. Chief. Of Staff.' feeling forced and repetitive to emphasize Lynne's seriousness. While the narrator's voice-over provides necessary historical context, its integration—such as the cut to the narrator in a modern home—breaks the scene's momentum and pulls focus from the 1970s setting, potentially confusing viewers or highlighting the meta-narrative style too intrusively. This could make the scene feel less cinematic and more like a lecture, especially when compared to the more dynamic, action-oriented segments in earlier scenes like the Cambodia bombing in Scene 7.
  • Thematically, the scene successfully introduces the Unitary Executive Theory as a pivotal concept in Cheney's worldview, using visual metaphors like the lion chasing a gazelle to symbolize raw power, which ties into the film's exploration of unchecked authority. However, this educational segment might overwhelm the personal moments, such as the kiss and family banter, creating a tonal whiplash that shifts from intimate and humorous to grave and instructional. Additionally, the election night conclusion, while dramatic, feels abrupt and disconnected from the earlier parts, underscoring the GOP's decline but not fully linking it to Cheney's personal journey, which could leave audiences wondering about the immediate consequences for his character arc.
  • Visually and aurally, elements like the orchestral sting and VT footage are effective in heightening the drama during the Unitary Executive explanation, but they might be over-relied upon, potentially making the scene feel manipulative or heavy-handed. The election night sequence, with characters reacting to Carter's win, is a strong bookend that contrasts Cheney's high point, but the lack of deeper emotional reactions—such as Cheney's internal thoughts or subtle facial cues—misses an opportunity to delve into his ambition and resilience, which were more vividly portrayed in the previous scene's poker metaphor with Rumsfeld. Overall, while the scene advances the plot by setting up Cheney's ideological shift and foreshadowing future challenges, it could better integrate its elements to create a more unified and engaging narrative beat.
Suggestions
  • Improve scene transitions by using visual or auditory bridges, such as fading from Cheney's proud smile in his office to a similar expression during the DOJ meeting, or incorporating subtle sound cues like a ringing phone to connect the narrator's interjection more smoothly, reducing the jarring cuts and enhancing narrative flow.
  • Deepen character interactions by adding subtext or unspoken tension; for example, expand Lynne's correction of Dick's humor to include a brief flashback or glance that hints at her past experiences (e.g., from Scene 4), making her character more nuanced and the family dynamics feel more authentic and less expository.
  • Refine dialogue to be more concise and natural; shorten Lynne's repetitive emphasis on 'Chief of Staff' and integrate the Unitary Executive Theory explanation through character actions or conflicts rather than direct exposition, perhaps by having Cheney react physically or emotionally to Scalia's words, to make it less tell-heavy and more show-oriented.
  • Balance the narrator's voice-over by limiting its screen time or integrating it with on-screen action; for instance, intercut the narrator's explanation with Cheney's facial reactions or symbolic imagery in real-time, ensuring it complements rather than dominates the scene and maintains the 1970s focus without modern intrusions.
  • Strengthen thematic cohesion by ending the scene on a more reflective note that ties back to Cheney's personal stakes; after the election loss, add a quiet moment where Cheney contemplates his next move, linking it to the Unitary Executive idea, to create a smoother arc and emphasize how setbacks fuel his ambition, as seen in earlier scenes like Nixon's resignation in Scene 9.



Scene 11 -  Resilience in the Face of Change
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. WHITE HOUSE ROOF - 1976

Maintenance workers install giant solar panels on the roof of
the White House.

DAVID BRINKLEY (SOT)
President Carter went to the roof
of the White House today to
announce his new solar
initiative...

VT President Carter speaking to the press.

PRESIDENT CARTER (SOT)
We must end our dependence on
fossil fuels. And by the using the
energy God gave us in the sun, we
may have an endless source of power
with solar energy...
31.


EXT. WYOMING RIVER - 2012 - DAY

Cheney trudges through a river with fishing gear in hand in
slo-mo. He is older, unsteady, but determined and focused.

CUT TO:


EXT. SMALL TOWN IN WYOMING - DAY - SUMMER - 1978

A VFW IN A ONE STOP SIGN TOWN. A beat up Winnebago with a
shabby “Cheney for Congress!” on it parked out front.


INT. SMALL TOWN VFW - DAY - SUMMER - 1978

Cheney speaks to RANCHERS at a VFW. It’s hot.

DICK
...I will become the gentleman from
Wyoming. And hear this, taxes must
come down.

Lynne coaches from the back of the room.

LYNNE
(whispers)
Talk. Talk.

DICK
I’ll say it again, taxes must go
down, we must ameliorate pain for
the taxes of the working man....and
bring perspicacity to the fore.

Lynne watches, pained. He’s not good at this. The Campaign
Manager leans in.

CAMPAIGN MANAGER
(whispers)
Thank God for name recognition.

DICK
But enough of the horsing around.
Which is of course, what us cowboys
do. So uh, remember, vote Cheney
for Congress. Uhh, thank you and
vote for Cheney in Congress.

LYNNE
Either he drinks next time, or I
do.
32.


Crowd applauds tepidly. Dick walks over to Lynne and his
Campaign Manager. He’s rubbing his arm.

DICK
I don’t want anyone to panic. But I
do believe I have to go to the
hospital.

FADE UP ON AN ACTUAL HEART BEATING AND THEN STOPPING AND THEN
BEATING ERRATICALLY BEFORE FINALLY IT STOPS.

QUICK CUT: A CUCKOO CLOCK STRIKING TWELVE: A cuckoo pops out.


INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

Cheney is in bed, IV coming out of his arm, heart monitors
beeping. Lynne is there by his side. A DOCTOR, 39.

DOCTOR
It’s an inferior wall infarct.

LYNNE
But it can be fixed, right?

DOCTOR
If it was up to me you’d drop out
of the election. But you’ve both
made it clear that’s not an option.
So you must have a minimum of two
weeks bed rest.

DICK
Two weeks off. We’ll lose our lead.

LYNNE
The hell we will.


EXT. RANCH - DAY

A microphone stand on the back of a truck and a crowd of
fifty HARD FACED MALE FARMERS AND RANCHERS waiting. A good ol
boy RANCH OWNER, 59, intros.

MAYOR
Dick Cheney has an illness so he
can’t be here today. But we have
his wife and a heck of a pretty gal
here to fill in: Lynne Cheney!

Lynne walks up to the Podium. SHE IS TOO SMALL TO REACH THE
MICROPHONE. THE CROWD LAUGHS. Lynne takes the mic off.
33.


LYNNE
I grew up in Wyoming. But somewhere
along the line Washington DC
stopped listening to real folks
like us! And started only listening
to liberal snobs who want us all to
lose our jobs to affirmative
action!

Awkward silence. The Campaign Manager tries to usher her off.

CAMPAIGN MANAGER
Okay Lynne...

The crowd EXPLODES in applause. Lynne pushes the Manager’s
hand away.

LYNNE
When I was in New York City I saw
women burning their bras. Well you
know what women do with bras in
Wyoming? We wear them!

Crowd applauds lustily again. The Campaign Manager looks
around “What the hell is happening?”


EXT. WYOMING RURAL AREA

A VAN weaves through a windy dirt road.

LYNNE (V.O.)
Here in Wyoming we believe there is
a right and a wrong.


INT. CHURCH BASEMENT - DAY

A Ladies Auxiliary Meeting. Some women knit as Lynne gives a
speech.

LYNNE
Because I’m a mom and a wife from
Wyoming. And I know how it feels to
make every penny count. And not
only do I speak for you, my husband
Dick Cheney...

Crowd livens up, applauding hard.
34.


NARRATOR (V.O.)
A hard wind of change had been
blowing through America, civil
rights, Roe versus Wade,
environmentalism. But there was a
part of the country that didn’t
like this change and wanted it to
stop.
Genres: ["Political Drama","Biographical"]

Summary The scene opens in 1976 with President Carter's solar initiative, highlighting a shift towards renewable energy. It then transitions to 2012, where an older Dick Cheney is seen fishing, reflecting on his past. Flashing back to 1978, Cheney struggles with a heart attack during his congressional campaign but insists on continuing despite medical advice. His wife, Lynne, steps in and delivers a powerful speech that unexpectedly energizes the crowd, showcasing her growing influence. The scene concludes with a narrator discussing America's societal shifts and the resistance to change.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of personal and political struggles
  • Compelling character dynamics
  • Thematic depth and development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue moments could be more refined
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses time jumps to juxtapose historical events (Carter's solar initiative in 1976) with Cheney's personal struggles in 1978 and a flash-forward to 2012, which highlights the film's non-linear structure and thematic elements of change and resistance. However, this approach can feel disjointed, potentially confusing the audience about the timeline and diluting the emotional impact of Cheney's immediate challenges, such as his campaign speech and health crisis. A more gradual transition or clearer visual cues could help maintain narrative coherence and strengthen the audience's connection to Cheney's character arc.
  • Character development for Dick Cheney is portrayed through his awkward public speaking and health vulnerability, which contrasts well with his later image of power, adding depth and humanity. Yet, this scene risks making Cheney too comedic or one-dimensional with lines like 'horsing around' and 'perspicacity,' which may come across as overly caricatured. This could undermine the film's goal of portraying Cheney as a complex figure, especially since the previous scenes (e.g., scene 10) build his ambition; suggesting a need for more nuanced dialogue to balance humor with realism and avoid reducing him to a buffoonish stereotype.
  • Lynne Cheney's emergence as a strong campaigner is a pivotal moment that showcases her intelligence and conservative fervor, providing a nice gender dynamic and foreshadowing her influence. However, her sudden success feels abrupt and somewhat unearned, as the transition from Cheney's failure to her triumph lacks sufficient buildup or character motivation. This could alienate viewers if not tied more explicitly to her background (e.g., her experiences from earlier scenes), making her speeches appear as convenient plot devices rather than organic developments, which might weaken the authenticity of their partnership.
  • The visual elements, such as the heart beating erratically and the cuckoo clock, are creative metaphors for Cheney's health issues and the chaos of his life, effectively blending symbolism with the film's satirical tone. Nevertheless, these visuals might be too overt or gimmicky, potentially distracting from the emotional weight of the scene. In a screenplay focused on historical accuracy and critique, subtler imagery could enhance immersion and allow the audience to infer themes without explicit cues, making the sequence more sophisticated and less reliant on heavy-handed symbolism.
  • The narrator's voice-over at the end ties the scene to broader themes of societal change and resistance, reinforcing the film's meta-narrative style. However, it feels somewhat tacked on and expository, which could interrupt the flow and make the ending feel preachy rather than integrated. Given the narrator's recurring role (as seen in previous scenes), this could be an opportunity to deepen audience engagement by weaving the commentary more seamlessly into the action, perhaps through visual parallels or character interactions, to avoid it feeling like a detached lecture.
Suggestions
  • To improve pacing and structure, consider reducing the number of time jumps or using transitional devices like fade-ins/fade-outs with on-screen dates to clarify shifts, ensuring the audience stays oriented and the emotional beats land more effectively.
  • Enhance character depth by adding subtle hints of Cheney's internal conflict or growth in his dialogue and actions, such as referencing his earlier experiences with Rumsfeld (from scene 7 or 8) to make his awkwardness feel like a continuation of his learning curve rather than isolated comedy.
  • Develop Lynne's character arc more gradually by including a brief moment where she prepares or reflects on her speeches, drawing from her personal history (e.g., her father's alcoholism from scene 4) to make her effectiveness feel earned and multidimensional, avoiding stereotypes of conservative women.
  • Refine visual metaphors by making them less explicit; for example, integrate the heart imagery more naturally into the hospital scene or use it sparingly to build tension, allowing the audience to connect the dots and increasing the scene's subtlety and impact.
  • Integrate the narrator's voice-over more organically by having it overlap with visual elements, such as cutting to archival footage of civil rights or environmental movements during Lynne's speech, to create a rhythmic flow that feels part of the storytelling rather than an afterthought, enhancing thematic resonance without breaking immersion.



Scene 12 -  The Rise of Conservatism: Cheney's Triumphs and Trials
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. DC RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Lynne and Dick toast to a table of CONGRESSMEN AND WIVES.

DICK
Thanks to my amazing wife, it is
good to be joining you all here in
D.C. as Wyoming’s sole
Congressional Representative!

Everyone smiles and toasts.


EXT. DC STREET - DAY

CUTS OF: OLD MONEY PATRIARCHS getting out of limos in SLO MO.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And then big money families like
the Kochs and the Coors that were
sick of paying income taxes, rolled
into Washington DC and started
writing fat checks to fund right
wing think tanks...

QUICK CUTS: the Heritage Foundation, the American Enterprise
Institute, the CATO Institute, ALEC, etc.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
...that would change the way many
Americans looked at the world.


INT. THINK TANK OFFICE - DAY

CU of a document on a desk: “TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS: A study
on reduced top tax rates as stimulus.”

PULL OUT to reveal a giant office with dozens of desks and
PEOPLE. A BIG SIGN READS “THE AMERICAN ENTERPRISE INSTITUTE”

LITTLE LINES TYPE IN THE AIR OVER EACH DESK: “Welfare Fraud,
America’s Hidden Epidemic” “OIL AND COAL: AMERICA’S FUTURE!”
“Regulations Are Costing us Billions!”
35.


NARRATOR (V.O.)
Finally in 1980, this unlikely
revolution of the super rich and
white conservatives found its
face...


INT. RNC CONVENTION - DETROIT - 1980

VT. STOCK: RONALD REAGAN giving his ACTUAL nomination speech.

REAGAN
For those who have abandoned hope,
we'll restore hope, and we'll
welcome them into a great national
crusade... to make America great
again!

Crowd goes NUTS.


EXT. WHITE HOUSE ROOF - 1980 - DAY

WORKERS unscrew solar panels from the roof and discard them
into a pile.


INT. HALLWAY - CAPITOL BUILDING - DAY - 1980’S

Cheney walks confidently talking to Congressmen and Aides.

NARRATOR
It was the fucking 1980’s, and it
was a hell of a time to be Dick
Cheney.


INT. FLOOR OF CONGRESS - DAY

QUICK CUTS: CHENEY INSERTING HIS HOUSE VOTING CARD, A FEW RED
“NAY” VOTES COMING UP ON THE BIG BOARD AGAINST A SEA OF GREEN
“YEA” VOTES.

CLERK
Vote on the Undetectable fire arms
Act to ban “plastic guns that can
evade metal detectors”... Clean
water act... endangered species
act... School lunch
program...Martin Luther King Jr
federal holiday...

ACTUAL CLIPS of Nancy Reagan on Mr. T’s lap, Donald Trump,
Aerobics.
36.


INT. HALLWAY - CAPITOL BUILDING - DAY - 1984

Dick COLLAPSES IN THE HALLWAY, going to his knees.

MUSIC: OUT

PANICKED AIDE
Someone call an ambulance!!
(to Cheney)
Can you breathe?

DICK
I’m having a heart attack you
idiot.


INT. WHITE HOUSE - EAST WING - NIGHT - 1986

White House CHRISTMAS PARTY. REAGAN AND NANCY (from behind)
meet and greet celebrities, leaders and friends like Royalty.

REVEAL: Lynne and Cheney ENTER like a Duke and Duchess. Dick
looks dashing in a tux and Lynne stunning in a tasteful gown.

ON SCREEN: “Dick Cheney House Minority Whip 1989” and “Lynne
Cheney Chair of the National Endowment for the Humanitites
1986-1993”

Quick shots of people at the party CATCHING GLIMPSES OF THE
CHENEYS, some whisper, some smile.

LYNNE
(finishing a conversation)
Thank you... I’m very excited.

The couple she was talking to walks away.

LYNNE (CONT’D)
They’re both brilliant, but broke.

VICE PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH SR. walks up.

GEORGE BUSH SR
Hey Dick... Hello Lynne.
Congratulations on your
appointment.

LYNNE
Why thank you Mr. Vice President.
How is your lovely family?
37.


GEORGE BUSH SR
My son Jeb seems cut out for
office. We may be asking you for
endorsements in a few years.

LYNNE
If he’s half as charming as you
George, he’s got both our votes.

GEORGE BUSH SR
Dick. I just wanted to say thank
you for getting the House not to
override the President’s veto of
the fairness doctrine.

DICK
Not a problem. Happy to get rid of
any big government regulations.

FREEZE

NARRATOR (V.O.)
The fairness doctrine was a law
from the forties that required any
broadcast TV or radio news to
present both sides of an issue
equally. Its repeal would lead to
the rise of opinion news.

QUICK CLIPS OF MORTON DOWNEY JR, RUSH LIMBAUGH, AND THEN A
GIANT FOX NEWS ANIMATED LOGO “FAIR AND BALANCED.”
Genres: ["Political Drama","Biographical"]

Summary In a bustling DC restaurant, Dick Cheney toasts his new role as Wyoming's Congressional Representative alongside Lynne and other congressmen. The scene transitions to the arrival of wealthy conservative patrons and the influence of right-wing think tanks like the Heritage Foundation. As the narrator highlights the 1980 conservative revolution led by Ronald Reagan, Cheney is shown confidently voting against progressive legislation. However, he suddenly collapses from a heart attack, prompting panic among aides. The scene shifts to a glamorous White House Christmas party where the Cheneys engage in political discussions with notable figures, including George Bush Sr., about the repeal of the fairness doctrine, which is linked to the rise of opinion news. The scene concludes with a freeze frame on this pivotal conversation.
Strengths
  • Historical accuracy
  • Political intrigue
  • Character depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth in dialogue
  • Some scenes lack dynamic tension
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses montage and voice-over to convey the rapid pace of political and cultural changes in the 1980s, mirroring Cheney's rise and the broader conservative movement. This approach helps in compressing historical events into a digestible format, making it informative for viewers unfamiliar with the era, but it risks feeling overly didactic, as the reliance on narrator exposition and stock footage prioritizes telling over showing, which can reduce emotional engagement and make the scene feel more like a documentary montage than a cinematic narrative.
  • The abrupt shifts between locations and time periods, such as from the intimate restaurant toast to the external street footage and then to various 1980s events, create a sense of dynamism that reflects the chaotic energy of the decade. However, this can also lead to a disjointed viewing experience, where the audience might struggle to connect emotionally with Cheney's character, as the scene lacks sustained focus on his internal state or relationships, making his arc feel superficial despite the high stakes of his political actions and personal health crisis.
  • The heart attack sequence is a powerful moment that highlights Cheney's vulnerability and determination, adding a human element to his otherwise portrayed ambition. Yet, it is introduced and resolved too quickly, diminishing its impact; the panic from the aide and Cheney's sarcastic response could be expanded to explore themes of mortality and resilience, which are central to Cheney's character, but instead, it feels like a throwaway event amidst the montage, missing an opportunity for deeper character development and emotional resonance.
  • Dialogue in the scene is minimal and largely expository, such as the toast and conversation with George Bush Sr., which serves to advance plot points rather than reveal character depth. This makes interactions feel functional and less nuanced, potentially alienating viewers who crave more authentic, conflict-driven exchanges that could humanize Cheney and Lynne, especially in contrast to the narrator's voice-over, which dominates the storytelling and might overshadow the characters' agency.
  • Visually, the scene is rich with symbolic elements, like the removal of solar panels signifying a policy shift and the quick cuts of Cheney's 'nay' votes illustrating his conservative stance, which effectively convey thematic ideas. However, the overuse of on-screen text, freeze frames, and rapid cuts can overwhelm the audience, making the scene feel cluttered and less immersive; this technique, while useful for historical context, might benefit from more subtle integration to allow visual storytelling to breathe and maintain a balance between education and entertainment.
  • The scene's tone blends satire and drama, critiquing the rise of conservative ideologies and opinion news, which aligns with the screenplay's overall style. Yet, this can come across as heavy-handed, with the narrator's commentary potentially preaching to the choir or alienating viewers who prefer subtlety in political satire; additionally, the humorous elements, like the aerobics clips, contrast sharply with serious moments like the heart attack, which could be refined to ensure tonal consistency and prevent the scene from feeling uneven or overly reliant on irony for emotional weight.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more character-driven moments to balance the voice-over, such as adding a brief, introspective scene where Cheney reflects on his health or political decisions, to make the montage feel more personal and emotionally engaging.
  • Streamline the rapid cuts and time jumps by using clearer transitional devices, like fade-ins or on-screen date indicators, to improve flow and help the audience follow the chronology without confusion.
  • Expand the heart attack sequence with additional beats, such as showing Cheney's immediate aftermath or a conversation with Lynne about his health, to deepen character development and tie it into his overarching arc of ambition versus vulnerability.
  • Reduce reliance on narrator exposition by integrating key information into dialogue or visual metaphors, for example, having Cheney discuss the impact of think tanks in a conversation with a colleague, to make the scene more cinematic and less lecture-like.
  • Focus on fewer key events within the montage to avoid overwhelming the audience; for instance, prioritize Cheney's voting record or the fairness doctrine repeal and give them more screen time with character reactions to heighten dramatic tension and thematic clarity.
  • Enhance tonal consistency by modulating the satire; pair humorous elements with grounded emotional responses, such as Lynne's reaction to Cheney's collapse, to create a more cohesive blend of comedy and drama that supports the scene's critical message without alienating viewers.



Scene 13 -  Family Ties and Political Choices
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. NEWSROOM - MODERN DAY

30’S FEMALE BLONDE ANCHOR AT A NEWS DESK

NEWS ANCHOR
(To camera)
... And eventually to the
realization of Roger Ailes’ dream:
Fox News. Which would go on to
dominate all other news and swing
America even more to the right.

CUT BACK TO:


INT. CHRISTMAS PARTY - NIGHT

UNFREEZE: There’s a CRASH on the other side of the party. We
see a LANKY DRUNK GUY who’s knocked over a tray of champagne
glasses. A waitress is distraught.
38.


LANKY DRUNK GUY
Lighten up sweetie! It’s a party!

DICK
What’s that fella’s problem?

GEORGE BUSH SR
Let me go see if everything’s okay
over there. Great to see you both.
Love to the girls...

George goes over to the young drunk man and ushers him out.

LYNNE
(quietly)
That’s his son. George W. He’s the
black sheep of the family.

DICK
A little too much unconditional
love.

LYNNE
Can you feel it Dick? Half the room
wants to be us and the other half
fears us. I know George is up next
but after that, who knows?

She rubs her hand against his back.

DICK
(takes it in)
I respect the hell out of Reagan...
But no one’s really shown the world
the true power of the American
Presidency...

SMASH CUT TO:


EXT. VIRGINIA HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

MARY CHENEY, now 17, leaves school SOBBING HARD. A TEACHER
FOLLOWS HER.

TEACHER
Excuse me Ms. Cheney! You cannot
leave the grounds during school
hours! Mary! Come back!

She jumps in her 85 Honda Accord, tears out.

MARY CHENEY
No, no, no!!!
39.


Mary speeds through a stop sign and BAM!! IS HIT BY ANOTHER
CAR! She is dazed with blood coming down her face.


INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER

Mary, in a hospital bed. Dick and Lynne are there.

LYNNE
I just don’t understand. You left
school? Why? It doesn’t make sense.

MARY
It was Susan...

LYNNE
Your best friend? Were you fighting
over a boy?

MARY
She broke up with me...

Beat.

MARY (CONT’D)
Mom, Dad, I like girls... I’m gay.

Dick and Lynne are silent for a long time. Everything they’ve
worked for hangs in the balance. Finally Dick moves towards
Mary and hugs her.

DICK
It doesn’t matter sweetheart. We
will always love you no matter
what.

MARY
Oh, I love you so much Daddy...

LYNNE
(tearing up)
It’s just going to be... so hard
for you...


INT. SHIPPING WAREHOUSE - 2011 - DAY

Kurt the Narrator, drives an electric pallet cart.

NARRATOR
When George Bush Sr. was elected
President, Dick Cheney was made
Secretary of Defense. Sixth in line
to the Presidency.
40.


Kurt the Narrator parks his cart and moves some boxes.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
And after a few years, it was
Dick’s turn to run for President,
so they decided to do some early
polling numbers.


INT. CHENEY KITCHEN - DAY - 1992

CLOSE UP: early poll results in Cheney’s hands. They show him
dead last behind 11 other Republicans including Dan Quayle.

DICK
Well I guess that’s it.

Lynne is there.

LYNNE
We can move those numbers. We
attack the welfare state,
regulations, government waste...

DICK
It’ll be a war. I can’t put Mary
through that. Every primary
opponent will go after her...

LYNNE
We deny. Shame them for going after
the family...

He crumples the paper, leaves it on the table and exits.
Lynne looks at the paper.

SCORE: BITTER SWEET BUT STILL GLORIOUS ORCHESTRAL


EXT. MIDDLE EASTERN DESERT - DAY - 1993

CHENEY WALKS ACROSS THE DESERT WITH THE FAMILY OF SAUD.

ON SCREEN: “Dick Cheney would go on to become CEO of a large
oil service company: Halliburton”
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Family"]

Summary In a modern newsroom, a female anchor reports on Roger Ailes and Fox News' influence on American politics. The scene shifts to a chaotic Christmas party where a drunken George W. Bush is escorted out by his father, George Bush Sr. Meanwhile, Dick and Lynne Cheney discuss their daughter Mary's struggles. After a dramatic car accident, Mary reveals to her parents that she is gay, leading to a heartfelt moment of support. The narrative then explores the Cheneys' political decisions, including their choice not to run for president to protect Mary from potential attacks. The scene concludes with Dick Cheney walking in a desert, foreshadowing his future role as CEO of Halliburton.
Strengths
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
  • Narrative complexity
Weaknesses
  • Potential pacing issues in transitions between time periods
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses non-linear storytelling to cover multiple key events in Dick Cheney's life, which aligns with the overall script's style of jumping through time. However, the rapid shifts between settings and time periods—such as from a modern newsroom to a 1980s Christmas party, then to Mary's 1990s car accident and a 2011 warehouse—can feel disjointed and overwhelming for the audience. This lack of smooth transitions may dilute the emotional impact of individual moments, making it harder for viewers to connect with the characters' personal stakes, especially in a biopic where character depth is crucial.
  • Character development is uneven in this scene. Mary's coming out as gay is a poignant and potentially powerful moment that humanizes the Cheney family, but it is resolved too quickly with a simple hug and affirmation, lacking deeper exploration of the family's internal conflict or long-term implications. Similarly, Dick's decision not to run for president in 1992 is a missed opportunity for more nuanced portrayal of his ambition versus family loyalty, coming across as somewhat abrupt and underdeveloped compared to the satirical political elements elsewhere in the script.
  • The use of the narrator (Kurt) in the 2011 warehouse segment provides necessary exposition about Cheney's career progression, but it interrupts the dramatic flow and feels like a crutch for delivering historical context. This reliance on voice-over can make the scene less cinematic, as it tells rather than shows important information, potentially alienating viewers who prefer visual storytelling. In a screenplay that already employs heavy narration, this segment reinforces a pattern that might make the film feel more like a documentary than a dynamic narrative.
  • Dialogue in several parts, such as the Cheneys' discussion at the Christmas party and in the kitchen, is functional but often expository and on-the-nose, spelling out themes like the pursuit of power and family sacrifices without subtlety. For instance, Lynne's line about 'half the room wants to be us and the other half fears us' directly states the scene's subtext, which could be conveyed more effectively through actions, expressions, or subtextual conversation. This directness might reduce tension and authenticity, making the characters seem less relatable in an otherwise satirical tone.
  • Pacing and structure within the scene are inconsistent, with some segments feeling rushed (like the car accident and hospital revelation) while others, such as the narrator's explanation, slow down the momentum. Given that this is scene 13 in a 36-scene script, it serves as a transitional piece connecting earlier career-focused scenes to later ones, but it doesn't fully capitalize on building suspense or emotional arcs, potentially leaving viewers disoriented about the story's progression and the characters' motivations.
Suggestions
  • Improve transitions between time jumps by using visual or auditory motifs, such as recurring imagery of family photos or a specific sound effect (e.g., a clock ticking or a phone ringing), to signal shifts and maintain thematic continuity, making the non-linear structure less jarring and more engaging for the audience.
  • Expand emotional beats, particularly Mary's coming out and Dick's decision not to run for president, by adding more subtextual dialogue, facial reactions, or flashback inserts to deepen character relationships and show the internal conflict more gradually, allowing viewers to empathize more fully with the family's dynamics.
  • Reduce reliance on narrator voice-over by integrating expository information into the action and dialogue; for example, show Cheney's appointment as Secretary of Defense through a brief scene of him receiving the news or interacting with colleagues, rather than having Kurt explain it, to enhance cinematic quality and trust the audience to infer context.
  • Refine dialogue to be more subtle and character-driven; instead of explicit lines about power and fear, use implied conversations or symbolic actions (e.g., a tense glance at George W. Bush or a protective gesture towards Mary) to convey themes, which would add layers of nuance and make the satire feel sharper and more authentic.
  • Adjust pacing by extending high-drama moments like the car accident and shortening expository segments, ensuring each part of the scene advances the plot or character development efficiently; consider combining some narrator elements with on-screen visuals to create a more balanced rhythm that builds toward the scene's emotional and thematic peaks.



Scene 14 -  From Family Bliss to Political Intrigue
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. LAKE - HOUSTON SUBURB - 1993

Dick, Mary, now 30, her partner HEATHER POE and Liz, 33 and
her HUSBAND PHILIP (holding a newborn) with Lynne, all fish
and sit by a beautiful lake. A GRAND DAUGHTER KATE, 4, runs
around laughing with 2 DOGS.
41.


ON SCREEN: “Lynne would publish several books on American
History.”

Dick holds his newborn grand daughter and laughs with family.

ON SCREEN: “Dick had a choice between the Presidency of the
United States and his youngest daughter. He chose his
daughter.”

Mary chases Lynne with the fish, everyone laughs.

ON SCREEN: “The Cheneys would never again enter politics or
the public eye.”

ON SCREEN: “Lynne and Dick are happy and wealthy and live in
Virginia where they breed award-winning Golden Retrievers.”

The Cheneys walk together up to the their house for supper.

END CREDITS ROLL

SFX: Is that a phone ringing?

END CREDITS CONTINUE TO ROLL

The Phone ringing gets LOUDER.

END CREDITS KEEP ROLLING

THE PHONE RINGING IS NOW VERY LOUD.

SMASH CUT TO:


INT. CHENEY HOME OFFICE - 1999- DAY

A desk phone is ringing as Dick, now in his early 60’s moves
towards it.

DICK CHENEY
Okay, okay. I’m coming...

LYNNE (O.C.)
Who’s calling on a Sunday morning?!

DICK CHENEY
I don’t know!

He answers.

DICK
Hello. Cheney residence?... Uh-
huh...I understand... Anyway I can
be of assistance... Okay...
(MORE)
42.

DICK (CONT'D)
That should work... 3pm... Of
course... That goes without
saying...

He hangs up and stands there for a second. Lynne comes
walking out of the kitchen.

LYNNE
Who was it?!

DICK
It was someone from George Bush’s
son’s campaign.

LYNNE
Jeb?

DICK CHENEY
No. George W... Jeb’s Florida.

LYNNE
Right. I still can’t believe
they’ve got that poor boy running
for President.

Beat.

LYNNE (CONT’D)
So what did they want?

DICK
They want to talk to me about being
his running mate.

LYNNE
What?

DICK
They didn’t say it outright but
I’ve made that call myself and
that’s what they want.

Beat.

LYNNE
Vice President is a nothing job.

DICK
I’m just going to hear them out. I
owe his Father that...

Beat.
43.


LYNNE
VP just waits for the President to
die. You’ve said it yourself.

DICK
It’s just a meeting.

LYNNE
Is it just a meeting? Or is it just
a meeting?

DICK
It’s just a meeting.

LYNNE
Good.

She walks away. Cheney stands there still in thought.


EXT. AUSTIN, TEXAS - CAPITOL BUILDING - DAY - 1999


INT. GOVERNOR’S OFFICE - LOBBY - SAME TIME

CU: Cheney’s polished shoes. He reaches for a copy of Time
Magazine: The Cover a picture of Bush with the headline
“President Bush?” A receptionist, THERESA, 28 approaches him.

THERESA
The Governor will see you now
Secretary Cheney.

DICK
Sure.
Genres: ["Drama","Political"]

Summary The scene opens in 1993 at a lakeside family gathering, showcasing the Cheney family enjoying a joyful day of fishing and bonding, with hints of their future paths through on-screen text. The mood shifts dramatically to 1999 as Dick Cheney receives a phone call about a potential vice-presidential offer from George W. Bush, leading to a tense conversation with Lynne, who questions the significance of the role. The scene transitions to the Governor's office in Austin, where Cheney prepares for the meeting, marking his return to the political arena.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of internal conflict
  • Compelling blend of personal and political themes
  • Strong emotional resonance
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of other characters' perspectives
Critique
  • The scene effectively serves as a transitional breather in the screenplay, contrasting the Cheneys' apparent retirement and family bliss in 1993 with the abrupt reentry into politics in 1999, which mirrors the film's themes of ambition versus personal life. However, the heavy use of on-screen text to convey key information (e.g., Lynne's books, Dick's choice, their future life) feels expository and detached, potentially alienating the audience by telling rather than showing, which could undermine emotional investment in a story that relies on character-driven drama.
  • The innovative device of rolling end credits mid-film with an increasingly loud phone ring builds suspense and cleverly subverts expectations, but it risks confusing viewers who might interpret it as the actual end of the film, disrupting immersion. This technique, while creative, could benefit from better integration to avoid jarring the narrative flow, especially in a non-linear structure that already includes frequent time jumps.
  • Character development is somewhat superficial here; the family outing depicts a happy, wealthy life through light-hearted actions like Mary chasing Lynne with a fish, but it lacks depth in exploring the Cheneys' relationships or internal conflicts. For instance, Dick's decision to prioritize family over the presidency is stated via on-screen text rather than shown through nuanced interactions, missing an opportunity to humanize him and build on earlier scenes where family dynamics, such as Mary's coming out, were more emotionally charged.
  • The dialogue, particularly between Dick and Lynne about the VP offer, is straightforward and functional but lacks subtext or tension, making the moment feel anticlimactic despite its narrative importance. Lynne's skepticism about the VP role echoes previous criticisms but doesn't evolve the characters or their relationship, reducing the scene's impact in a film that often uses dialogue to reveal political machinations.
  • Pacing is uneven; the 1993 segment feels idyllic and slow, providing contrast to the fast-paced political scenes, but the abrupt smash cut to 1999 and the short exchange in the governor's office lobby don't fully capitalize on building suspense or foreshadowing future events. As Scene 14 in a 36-scene script, it could better bridge the post-political lull (from Scene 13) to the rising action of Cheney's return, but it risks feeling like a filler moment in an otherwise dense narrative.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the film's exploration of power and personal sacrifice, with visual elements like the family fishing and dogs symbolizing domestic contentment. However, this is undercut by the lack of visual innovation or symbolic depth compared to earlier scenes (e.g., the lion hunt in Scene 10), making it less memorable and potentially diluting the overall satirical tone of the screenplay.
  • Finally, the scene's structure, with its mix of serene family moments and sudden political intrusion, effectively sets up Cheney's arc but could be more cohesive. The connection to the previous scene (Cheney in the desert with the Saud family) is weak, as the transition from Middle Eastern dealings to domestic retirement isn't explicitly linked, which might confuse viewers about the timeline or character motivations.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more 'show, don't tell' techniques by expanding the family outing with specific, vivid details—such as meaningful conversations or subtle tensions between family members—to illustrate their happiness and wealth, reducing reliance on on-screen text and making the scene more engaging and emotionally resonant.
  • Refine the end credits and phone ring transition by starting the ring faintly during the fishing scene or using a fade to suggest the passage of time, ensuring it feels like a natural buildup rather than a disruptive gimmick, and clearly signaling to the audience that the story is continuing.
  • Add depth to character interactions and dialogue; for example, include a brief, introspective moment where Dick reflects on his past choices or Lynne hints at her own ambitions, creating subtext that ties into the film's themes and foreshadows future conflicts, such as the strain on family relationships in later scenes.
  • Enhance pacing by tightening the 1993 segment to focus on key emotional beats and extending the 1999 phone call scene with more internal monologue or visual cues (e.g., Dick's facial expressions or flashbacks) to heighten tension and make the reentry into politics more dramatic and impactful.
  • Strengthen narrative flow by adding a smoother transition from the previous scene; for instance, use a visual motif like oil rigs or desert imagery in the fishing scene to subtly connect Cheney's corporate life to his domestic one, improving continuity and clarifying the timeline for the audience.
  • Explore thematic elements more actively by incorporating symbolic actions or props during the family outing that hint at underlying issues, such as a newspaper clipping about politics or a tense exchange about Mary's life, to better foreshadow the political return and maintain the film's satirical edge.
  • Consider balancing the scene's length and content; if it's too short, add elements that advance the plot, like a subtle hint about external pressures (e.g., a news report in the background), to ensure it contributes more dynamically to the overall story arc without slowing the momentum.



Scene 15 -  The Vice Presidential Proposal
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. GOVERNOR’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

CU of W Bush’s hand as it shakes Cheney’s. A signed Nolan
Ryan baseball on a shelf, papers on the desk with a copy of
Sports Illustrated, Cheney lowering himself into a chair,
Bush tapping his finger on the desk to an unheard beat.

W BUSH
Hello Dick.

DICK
Hello George.

W BUSH
It’s been awhile.
44.


DICK
Since last year. The foreign policy
sessions...

We see GEORGE W BUSH, 53. Handsome but boyish with a petulant
fidgety edge to him.

W BUSH
That’s right. Those meetings were
very engaging. I remember we both
agreed my Dad would have been re-
elected if he had taken out Saddam.

DICK
War time Presidents are always
popular.

W BUSH
That they are. That they are.

DICK
So... Congratulations on a
successful primary. I’ve been
through a few myself and they can
be... Shall we say-

W BUSH
Fucking exhausting?

DICK
(chuckles lightly)
Yes.

W BUSH
Buses, bologna sandwiches. I mean I
like people but enough’s enough. Am
I right?

DICK
(and then)
So uh, the call I received...

W BUSH
I forgot, you’re a brass tacks guy
aren’t you? I like that. Are you
surprised I’m running for
President? After my, shall we say,
wild years?

DICK
I sowed some oats myself back in
the day. Still enjoy a cold beer on
occasion.
45.


W BUSH
I bet you did. I bet you did you
rascal. Well I can’t anymore. It
got bad... Real bad.

DICK (V.O.)
What does he really want? What does
he need?

W BUSH
Do you want some brisket? Theresa
can we get some brisket?!

THERESA
Yes sir!

W BUSH
Get the burnt ends!

DICK
George... Listen...

W BUSH
(changes gears nervously)
So listen, I’ve got a lack of
experience problem in the polls and
you’re one of the most experienced
guys around. You wanna jump on
board and be my Vice?

QUICK FLASH: Cheney’s fishing line in a RIVER. He watches the
water with a patient focus.

DICK
...I’m honored.

W BUSH
Don’t be honored. Fucking say yes
Mr. Brass tacks.

DICK
...I have to say no at this time.

W BUSH
Come on. I know you love politics.
What are you in the private sector
now? Come on...

DICK
I can’t.

W BUSH
That’s a shame. It is. I really
need you near my campaign.
46.


Beat. QUICK FLASH: a satchel is opened revealing fly fishing
lures of all shapes and sizes.

DICK
Perhaps... I, uh, could help you
find the right running mate?

W BUSH
You mean run my VP search team?

DICK
No team. Me.

W BUSH
Yeah, yeah. That could work. I’ll
have to run it by Rove of course.
(and then)
This campaign’s gonna be a bitch.
But if I lose I can maybe become
commissioner of baseball, you know?

DICK
But the idea is to win, right?

W BUSH
I’m going to keep you in the back
of my mind.
Genres: ["Political Drama","Biographical"]

Summary In the Governor's Office, George W. Bush meets with Dick Cheney to discuss the Vice Presidential position. Bush, eager and casual, reminisces about their past interactions and expresses his campaign struggles. He directly offers Cheney the role to enhance his own experience, but Cheney declines, suggesting he could assist in finding a suitable running mate instead. The conversation remains friendly and humorous, with Bush joking about alternative career paths. Ultimately, Cheney's refusal leads to a collaborative approach, with Bush agreeing to consider Cheney's involvement in the campaign.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character depth
  • Plot advancement
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some lack of emotional depth
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the interpersonal dynamics between Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, highlighting Cheney's calculated and reserved nature against Bush's more impulsive and casual demeanor. This contrast is well-illustrated through dialogue and actions, such as Bush's fidgety finger-tapping and abrupt topic shifts, which help convey Bush's inexperience and reliance on Cheney's steadiness. However, the portrayal risks oversimplifying Bush as a caricature—his boyish, petulant edge might alienate viewers familiar with historical nuances, potentially reducing the scene's depth and making it feel like a broad satire rather than a nuanced character study. Additionally, Cheney's internal voice-over ('What does he really want? What does he need?') is a strong device for revealing his strategic mindset, but it could come across as too expository if overused, pulling the audience out of the visual storytelling and into direct narration, which might dilute the tension built through subtextual dialogue.
  • Pacing in the scene is generally tight and engaging, with quick flashes to Cheney's fishing line serving as a clever visual metaphor for his manipulative, patient approach to power. This technique reinforces the theme of Cheney as a master strategist, aligning with the overall script's portrayal of him as a behind-the-scenes operator. However, the rapid cuts and tonal shifts (from light-hearted banter about brisket to serious political offers) can feel disjointed, potentially confusing viewers or undermining the emotional weight of key moments, such as Cheney's decline of the VP offer. The scene's brevity is a strength in maintaining momentum in a larger narrative, but it might benefit from more buildup to the offer to heighten stakes and make Cheney's decision feel more impactful, especially given that this is a pivotal turning point in Cheney's arc toward greater influence.
  • Dialogue is naturalistic and reveals character motivations effectively, with Bush's informal language ('Fucking exhausting?') contrasting Cheney's measured responses, which underscores their power imbalance and foreshadows Cheney's eventual dominance. This helps readers understand the scene's role in the broader story, showing how Cheney's refusal is a calculated step toward controlling the narrative. That said, some lines, like Bush's self-deprecating remarks about his 'wild years,' feel somewhat clichéd and could be more original to avoid relying on well-trodden historical tropes. Furthermore, the scene's integration with the narrator's voice-over from previous scenes is seamless, maintaining thematic consistency around Cheney's rise, but it lacks deeper exploration of the personal cost or internal conflict, such as hints at Cheney's family life or health issues that were prominent earlier, which might make the scene feel somewhat isolated from the script's emotional core.
  • Visually, the close-ups (e.g., on Bush's hand, the Nolan Ryan baseball, and Cheney's fishing lures) are evocative and symbolic, adding layers to the scene without overwhelming the dialogue. This approach aids in character development and thematic depth, making the scene accessible to readers unfamiliar with the full context. However, the symbolic flashes to fishing might be too on-the-nose for some audiences, potentially coming across as heavy-handed foreshadowing rather than subtle imagery. Additionally, the scene's setting in the Governor's Office is underutilized; while details like the Sports Illustrated copy add authenticity, they don't actively contribute to the conflict or advance the plot beyond surface-level world-building, which could make the environment feel static compared to more dynamic scenes in the script.
  • Overall, the scene successfully advances the plot by setting up Cheney's strategic involvement in the VP selection process, which is crucial for understanding his path to power in later scenes. It balances humor and tension well, fitting the script's satirical tone, but it could delve deeper into the psychological underpinnings of Cheney's decisions to better connect with the narrator's reflective commentary. For instance, while the scene hints at Cheney's cunning through his voice-over and the fishing metaphor, it doesn't fully explore the stakes of his refusal, such as the potential risks to his personal life or the broader implications for American politics, which might leave readers wanting more insight into how this moment shapes the narrative arc.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the subtext in dialogue by adding pauses or non-verbal cues (e.g., Cheney subtly adjusting his posture or Bush avoiding eye contact) to show the underlying power dynamics without relying on voice-over, making the scene more cinematic and immersive.
  • Extend the buildup to Bush's VP offer by including a brief moment of small talk that reveals more about Bush's insecurities or Cheney's reservations, allowing for greater emotional depth and a smoother transition into the core conflict.
  • Refine the symbolic elements, such as the fishing flashes, by integrating them more organically—perhaps through a continuous visual motif or tying it to Cheney's physical actions in the scene—to avoid feeling contrived and strengthen the thematic resonance.
  • Incorporate subtle references to Cheney's health or family concerns (e.g., a quick thought about his heart condition or a mention of his daughters) to better link this scene to previous ones, ensuring character continuity and reinforcing the personal stakes involved in his political decisions.
  • Adjust the pacing by slowing down key exchanges, like Cheney's decline and counter-offer, to build tension and allow the audience to absorb the implications, while cutting extraneous details (e.g., the brisket request) if they distract from the main conflict.



Scene 16 -  Ambition and Uncertainty
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. CHENEY’S BATHROOM - THAT NIGHT

Dick and Lynne brush and floss and prepare for bed. After a
long beat Lynne finally speaks.

LYNNE
So are you going to tell me how it
went today or not?

DICK
It was... interesting. He is
a...green. He’s very green.

Beat.

LYNNE
And you told him no?

DICK
I told him I’d help with the
search.

Beat. Dick gargles Listerine for a very long time. Painfully
long.
47.


LYNNE
What are you thinking? I can tell
you’re thinking.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
What was Dick Cheney thinking?

DICK
I’m thinking I’ve never seen
anything like this.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
After his first meeting with George
W.

LYNNE
We’ve had a lot of successes Dick.
Vice President is a nothing job.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
How many steps ahead was he
looking? How did he feel about the
opportunity that was in front of
him?

Cheney stares in the mirror.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
There are certain moments, that are
so delicate. Like a teacup and
saucer...

FLASH BACK of Dick hugging Lynne and the children after they
found out Lynne’s Mom died.

NARRATOR
Stacked on a teacup and saucer...

FLASH BACK of Lynne yelling at young Dick as he sits hungover
on the couch with his head hung in shame.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Stacked on a teacup and saucer....

Back to Dick and Lynne in the bathroom.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
And on and on. That this moment
could fall in any direction and
change everything.

FLASH TO Tea cups wobbling as they are stacked higher and
higher.
48.


NARRATOR (V.O.)
Sadly there is no real way to know
exactly what was going on with the
Cheneys at this history changing
moment. We can’t just snap into a
Shakespearian Soliloquy that
dramatizes every feeling and
emotion. That’s just not the way
the world works.

CUT TO BLACK.

NARRATOR
You know what?


INT. CHENEY BEDROOM

Dick and Lynne get settled into bed.

LYNNE
My sweet Richard.
Dance’d nimbly round the King’s
hearth thou hath.
Even whilst clamored I for more,
more!
Parched maw craned towards the
drip, drip of imagined waters.
But I say to you now, rest, retire.
Thou hast honored thy vows to wife
and crown.

DICK
Has blindness usurped vision in you
my wife?
No mere treaty is our union!
Thou shared thy torch’s flame with
mine.
Revealing halls and spires of long
faded empires.
But now I hold aloft mine own fiery
cresset
To make flesh our bond of power.

LYNNE
Dare I?
Dare I let hope’s beak place
gathered bramble
Upon my heart for future’s nest?
Many winters past hath I let this
hope die,
cruel winds silencing tiny birds
needy cries
(MORE)
49.

LYNNE (CONT'D)
Now that it hath arrived I say yea,
yea!
Mine own blood and will, are yours
til pierced be the last soldier’s
breast plate,
spilling open its jellied ruby
treasures!

Lightening Strikes as they embrace and kiss passionately.

CUT TO BLACK.

Back to the Bedroom with non-Shakespeare Dick and Lynne. Long
beat of silence.

LYNNE (CONT’D)
So?

DICK
So...I think we proceed.

LYNNE
What about Mary?

DICK
It’s VP. It’s not the same
scrutiny.

Dick rolls over, finally ready to sleep.

LYNNE
He’s got allies Dick...
Connections. You’re new to his
world. You don’t know the
landscape.

DICK
Well, then I had better run a very
thorough search...

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a tense nighttime bathroom conversation, Dick and Lynne Cheney discuss his meeting with George W. Bush and the implications of a potential vice presidential search. Lynne probes Dick's thoughts, revealing her concerns about their daughter Mary and the political landscape. The scene intercuts with flashbacks and a metaphor of stacked teacups, highlighting the fragility of their situation. They engage in a Shakespearean-style dialogue that reflects their mutual ambition, ultimately deciding to pursue the opportunity despite lingering worries about scrutiny and connections. The scene concludes with Dick rolling over to sleep, acknowledging the need for a thorough search.
Strengths
  • Intimate character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
  • Interwoven flashbacks
Weaknesses
  • Long gargling scene
  • Some disjointed transitions
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses tension-building elements like the prolonged Listerine gargling to convey Dick's internal conflict and avoidance, which mirrors his character's calculated and reserved nature. This technique helps the audience feel the weight of the decision-making process, making it a strong moment for character development and thematic depth, as it ties into the film's exploration of power and personal ambition. However, the extended duration might test audience patience in a cinematic context, potentially coming across as overly indulgent if not paced perfectly in editing, which could disrupt the flow of an otherwise engaging narrative.
  • The narrator's voice-over adds a layer of introspection and humor, questioning Cheney's thoughts and using metaphors like the stacked teacups to symbolize the fragility of life-changing moments. This is clever and fits the film's satirical style, providing historical and psychological context that enhances understanding for the viewer. That said, the meta-commentary—where the narrator explicitly states the limitations of dramatizing inner thoughts—feels somewhat self-aware and could break immersion, reminding the audience that they're watching a constructed story rather than living in the moment, which might dilute the emotional impact in a film that balances drama and comedy.
  • The flashbacks to key emotional events in the Cheneys' lives (e.g., hugging after Lynne's mother's death and Lynne yelling at a hungover Dick) are well-chosen to illustrate the couple's history and bond, reinforcing their relationship as a driving force in Dick's decisions. This adds depth and helps the reader (and viewer) understand the stakes, but it risks feeling repetitive if similar techniques are overused in the screenplay, and the rapid cuts could confuse viewers if not handled with clear visual transitions, potentially weakening the scene's coherence.
  • The Shakespearean soliloquy is a bold stylistic choice that amplifies the themes of ambition and power, drawing a parallel to classical tragedy and elevating the dialogue to match the gravity of their decision. It showcases Lynne and Dick's intellectual and emotional partnership, which is a strength in character portrayal. However, this shift in tone and language might clash with the film's more grounded, satirical approach, feeling anachronistic or overly theatrical, which could alienate audiences or make the scene seem like a parody rather than a sincere exploration, especially if the rest of the script maintains a modern, conversational style.
  • The return to normal dialogue after the Shakespearean interlude provides a grounded resolution, with concerns about their daughter Mary and the political landscape adding realism and foreshadowing future conflicts. This contrast highlights the characters' pragmatism and deepens the portrayal of their marriage as a strategic alliance. On the downside, the abrupt cuts to black and the meta-narrative elements disrupt the scene's rhythm, making it feel disjointed, and the decision to 'proceed' lacks specificity, which might leave viewers wanting more insight into how this choice directly impacts the plot, potentially making the scene feel more expository than propulsive.
  • Overall, the scene successfully captures a pivotal moment in Cheney's career trajectory, blending humor, drama, and introspection to reflect the film's themes of hidden motivations and the cost of power. It helps the reader understand Cheney's calculated mindset and Lynne's influential role, but the experimental structure— with voice-over, flashbacks, and stylistic shifts— risks overwhelming the audience or diluting the emotional core, especially in a longer screenplay where such techniques might accumulate and fatigue viewers if not balanced carefully.
Suggestions
  • Shorten the Listerine gargling sequence to make it more concise, perhaps by integrating subtle visual cues (like Dick's facial expressions or reflections in the mirror) to convey tension without dragging the pace, ensuring it remains engaging and serves the scene's emotional build-up.
  • Refine the narrator's voice-over to be less meta and more integrated, for example, by weaving the commentary into the visuals or dialogue subtly, or by reserving such breaks for key moments to avoid repetition and maintain immersion throughout the film.
  • Streamline the flashbacks by selecting only the most essential ones or combining them into a quicker montage, and use clear transitional elements (e.g., fade effects or sound bridges) to improve flow and prevent disorientation, while ensuring they directly tie to the current conversation for better thematic reinforcement.
  • Reevaluate the Shakespearean soliloquy for tone consistency; consider shortening it or rephrasing parts in modern language to blend better with the film's style, or use it sparingly as a recurring motif to heighten dramatic irony without overshadowing the realistic elements of the characters' relationship.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes in the normal dialogue section by adding more specific details about concerns for Mary (e.g., referencing past events or potential repercussions), and clarify how this decision advances the plot, perhaps by ending with a stronger hook that transitions seamlessly to the next scene, making the scene more dynamic and forward-moving.
  • Focus on tightening the overall structure by reducing abrupt cuts to black and ensuring stylistic shifts serve a clear purpose; test the scene's rhythm in a read-through to confirm it balances humor and drama effectively, and consider audience feedback to calibrate the experimental elements for better engagement.



Scene 17 -  Kitchen Collaborations and Legal Insights
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. CHENEY KITCHEN - THE NEXT DAY

Liz, Lynne, Mary, Dick’s friend DAVID GRIBBIN and Dick work
on the VP questionnaire. Laptops, papers are everywhere.

DICK
Every stone. Hell, every grain of
sand needs to be looked under for
this questionnaire.

Mary is putting pizzas on the table.
50.


DAVID GRIBBIN
Dick we’re asking for all
financials, all medical, all
interviews, press, writings, legal
records, family medical and family
financials. Any more
“comprehensive” and we’d need a
rubber glove. Sorry Liz.

LIZ
That wasn’t offensive. Should I be
offended?

LYNNE
I’m offended Dave wasn’t worried
I’d be offended.

LIZ
Oh, a rubber glove. Like a
proctology exam. That’s...that’s
disgusting.

The phone rings. Dick answers.

DICK
Hey David. Any thoughts?


INT. LAW OFFICE - VIRGINIA - SAME TIME

David Addington at his desk, phone crook’d in his neck.

DAVID ADDINGTON
One big one.

FREEZE

NARRATOR (V.O.)
David Addington, Dicks main legal
advisor and a huge believer in the
Unitary Executive Theory. He was
known for telling people to their
face that they were stupid.

UNFREEZE

DAVID ADDINGTON
So the Vice Presidency is part of
the executive branch and because
the VP casts tie breaking votes in
the Senate, also part of the
legislative branch, right?
51.


DICK
Okay?

DAVID ADDINGTON
That means the VP is also not part
of the executive or the
legislative.

DICK
So one could argue neither branch
has oversight of the VP?

DAVID ADDINGTON
Not only can “one” argue that, I’m
arguing it right now.

DICK
Brilliant David.

DAVID ADDINGTON
I know! Right?

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Political Drama","Biographical"]

Summary In the Cheney kitchen, Liz, Lynne, Mary, David Gribbin, and Dick Cheney work on the Vice Presidential questionnaire, blending humor and seriousness. David makes a crude joke about the questionnaire, prompting playful reactions from Liz and Lynne. A phone call from David Addington shifts the scene to his law office, where he discusses the unique constitutional role of the Vice Presidency with Dick, who enthusiastically agrees with Addington's insights. The scene balances light-hearted family dynamics with focused legal discussions.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Introduction of key legal concepts
  • Blend of humor and seriousness
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Minimal character development
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses humor to lighten the mood and reveal character dynamics, particularly through David Gribbin's proctology exam analogy, which humanizes the Cheneys and their team, making them more relatable amidst the high-stakes political context. This comedic element helps balance the film's potentially heavy themes and provides insight into the informal, familial atmosphere surrounding Dick Cheney's ambitions, allowing readers to understand how personal relationships support his rise to power.
  • However, the scene feels somewhat transitional and lacks significant conflict or emotional depth, serving primarily as a setup for the phone call with David Addington. While it advances the plot by introducing the key legal concept of the Vice President's oversight loophole, it doesn't fully capitalize on the family setting to explore deeper character motivations or tensions, such as the Cheneys' internal conflicts regarding privacy and power, which were hinted at in previous scenes. This makes the scene feel like filler, potentially underwhelming the audience if not tied more strongly to the overarching narrative.
  • The freeze-frame with the narrator's voice-over is a recurring technique in the script that works well here to provide essential exposition about David Addington's role and beliefs, enhancing understanding of Cheney's inner circle. Yet, its repetition across scenes could become predictable or disruptive, risking audience fatigue; in this instance, it succinctly delivers background information, but it might benefit from integration that feels less interruptive to maintain narrative flow.
  • Dialogue is snappy and character-revealing, especially in the humorous exchange about offense and the proctology joke, which highlights the Cheneys' wit and resilience. However, some lines, like Liz's response to the joke, come across as overly explanatory or forced, which could undermine authenticity and make the characters seem less natural. Additionally, Mary's role is limited to serving pizzas, which underutilizes her character, especially given her significance in earlier scenes regarding her sexuality and family dynamics.
  • Overall, the scene contributes to the film's theme of unchecked power by illustrating how Cheney methodically prepares for and manipulates his position, but it could strengthen its impact by building more suspense or foreshadowing the consequences of the VP oversight argument. As scene 17 in a 36-scene script, it maintains momentum from the previous scene's decision to pursue the VP role, but it might not stand alone as memorably cinematic, relying heavily on dialogue rather than visual storytelling to engage the audience.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more visual elements to make the scene more dynamic, such as showing close-ups of the questionnaire documents with highlighted sections or redacted information to symbolize secrecy and foreshadow future plot points, enhancing the cinematic quality beyond dialogue-heavy exchanges.
  • Deepen character interactions by giving Mary a more active role in the discussion, perhaps having her question the implications of the questionnaire on family privacy, which could tie back to her coming-out story and add emotional layers, making the scene more integral to her arc.
  • Refine the humor to feel more organic and less on-the-nose; for example, rephrase the proctology analogy to better reflect the characters' personalities or use it to reveal underlying tensions, ensuring it serves the narrative rather than just providing comic relief.
  • Vary the use of the freeze-frame and narrator voice-over by integrating the exposition more seamlessly, such as through a subtle transition or by having Addington's explanation unfold in real-time conversation without freezing, to avoid overuse and keep the pacing engaging.
  • Add a subtle conflict or stakes to the scene, like a brief moment where Dick hesitates or Lynne expresses quiet concern about the legal loophole, to heighten tension and better connect it to the film's themes of power abuse, making the audience more invested in the characters' decisions.



Scene 18 -  The Deal at Crawford Ranch
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. CRAWFORD RANCH - DAY

Cheney and W walk towards a porch with a screen door slightly
ajar at W’s Crawford Ranch.

W BUSH
Rove made me buy this ranch. He
wanted to distance me from my years
at Yale and Harvard. Make me more
of a man of the people for the
election.

DICK
Smart.


They sit. W BUSH eats chicken while Cheney sips his ice tea.

W BUSH
So, we gonna do this thing or what?
Is this happening?

DICK
We’ve found some very interesting
candidates. I think if we could
schedule a three hour window to go
through each one-
52.


W BUSH
No. I meant are you going to be my
VP? I want you.

Beat.

DICK
I’m CEO of a large company. I’ve
been Secretary of Defense, Chief of
Staff... The Vice Presidency is a
mostly symbolic job...

W BUSH
Right, right. I can see how that
wouldn’t be enticing to you.

DICK
However... the Vice Presidency is
also defined by the President. If
we were to have a... different
understanding...

W BUSH
Uh-huh. Go on.

QUICK FLASH: a fishing line going TIGHT.

DICK
I get the sense you’re a, shall we
say, kinetic leader. You make
decisions based on instinct. You’re
very different from your father in
that regard.

W BUSH
(he likes that)
I am. People have always said that.

DICK
Maybe I could handle the more
mundane parts of the job. Managing
the bureaucracy, overseeing the
military, energy, foreign policy...

W BUSH
That sounds good.

QUICK FLASH: a fishing line reels out for another catch.

W BUSH (CONT’D)
I never want to be the kind of team
owner that pulls the starter in the
4th inning. That’s the manager’s
job.
53.


DICK
And one last thing. My daughter
Mary...

W BUSH
Right... Rove told me she likes
girls.

DICK
I know you’ll have to run against
gay marriage for the south and the
mid-west. But it’s my daughter and
that line in drawn in concrete.

W BUSH
So long as you don’t mind us
pushing that messaging. Sure, we’re
okay with you sitting that one out.
I think it’s important for all the
Marys in the world, you know? No
problemo.

DICK
Then I believe this can work.

W raises his glass.

W BUSH
Hot Damn! Well good, let’s
celebrate!

They cheers ice tea.


INT. FRANK ERWIN CENTER - AUSTIN - 2000 - DAY

BACKSTAGE: Dick and Lynne wait behind the curtains while we
hear W Bush speaking.

W BUSH (O.S.)
When I was searching for a Vice
President I turned to the
experience of Dick Cheney.
But I soon realized he was the best
choice. Please welcome, my friend
and my running mate: Dick Cheney!
And his lovely wife Lynne!

The Cheneys enter. On stage we see Dick’s shoes walk towards
the podium. A quick flash of the campaign’s slogan on the
podium: “RENEWING AMERICA’S PURPOSE”
54.


NARRATOR (V.O.)
Dick never filled out his own 83
question questionnaire. Full
medical records were never handed
over. No tax or corporate filings,
nothing.

Crowd starts chanting “Cheney! Cheney!”
Genres: ["Political Drama","Biographical"]

Summary In this pivotal scene, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney discuss Cheney's potential role as Vice President at Bush's Crawford Ranch. Initially hesitant, Cheney negotiates for a more influential position, agreeing to manage key policy areas while setting boundaries regarding his daughter's sexuality. Bush enthusiastically accepts, leading to a celebratory toast. The scene transitions to a rally where Bush introduces Cheney as his running mate, amidst chants from the crowd, while a narrator reveals Cheney's lack of transparency during the vetting process.
Strengths
  • Nuanced negotiation dynamics
  • Character depth and development
  • Emotional resonance
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Reliance on dialogue for tension
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the pivotal moment where Cheney negotiates his role in the Bush administration, highlighting his strategic manipulation and boundary-setting, which aligns with the film's theme of Cheney's rise to power. The use of the fishing line flashes as a visual metaphor for Cheney's cunning is clever and reinforces his character as a calculated operator, making it accessible for viewers unfamiliar with subtler symbolism. However, this metaphor risks becoming repetitive if it's a recurring device in the script, potentially diluting its impact over time. Additionally, the dialogue feels somewhat expository, with characters directly stating their intentions and backgrounds (e.g., Cheney's list of past roles), which can make the scene less dynamic and more tell-than-show, reducing tension in a negotiation that should be fraught with subtext.
  • Character dynamics are portrayed with clarity, particularly in how Cheney positions himself as the puppeteer while Bush is depicted as impulsive and eager, which serves the narrative's critical view of political maneuvering. Bush's line about not wanting to 'pull the starter in the 4th inning' adds a folksy, humorous touch that humanizes him, but it borders on caricature, potentially oversimplifying his character for comedic effect at the expense of depth. This could alienate viewers seeking a more nuanced portrayal, especially since the scene relies heavily on Bush's agreement to Cheney's terms without much resistance, which might make the power imbalance feel contrived rather than earned through conflict.
  • The setting and visual elements, such as the casual ranch environment with Bush eating chicken and Cheney sipping tea, contrast nicely with the high-stakes discussion, underscoring the theme of hidden agendas behind everyday facades. This irony is well-executed and helps maintain the film's satirical tone. However, the transition to the rally feels abrupt and could benefit from better integration, as the shift from a private negotiation to a public announcement lacks a smooth narrative bridge, potentially jarring the audience and disrupting the emotional flow. Furthermore, the narrator's voice-over at the end about Cheney's withheld records is a strong reveal that adds irony and foreshadows future conflicts, but it might be more impactful if woven into the visuals or dialogue earlier in the scene to build suspense rather than dumping it as an afterthought.
  • Pacing is generally brisk, which suits the scene's purpose of advancing the plot quickly in a longer script, but the rapid agreement between Cheney and Bush on key issues (like the 'different understanding' and the gay marriage boundary) resolves conflicts too easily, missing an opportunity for deeper tension or debate. This could make the scene feel predictable, as Cheney's dominance is established without significant pushback, reducing the dramatic stakes. The tone shifts effectively from casual chit-chat to serious negotiation, but the humor (e.g., toasting with iced tea) sometimes undercuts the gravity of the moment, which might confuse viewers about whether to take the scene seriously or as pure satire.
  • Overall, the scene fits well into the script's structure as a turning point, showing Cheney's ascent and the beginnings of his influence, but it could better serve the audience's understanding by clarifying Cheney's internal motivations. For instance, while the fishing flash provides insight, more subtle cues—like facial expressions or pauses—could convey his thought process without relying on voice-over or quick cuts. This scene also highlights the film's critique of political ethics, but the lack of consequences shown immediately after the negotiation might weaken the thematic weight, as the audience is left to infer the long-term implications rather than seeing them unfold.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtext into the dialogue to heighten tension; for example, have Cheney imply his conditions through indirect language or pauses, making the negotiation feel more organic and less scripted, which would engage viewers and add depth to character interactions.
  • Develop Bush's character with additional layers, such as showing brief moments of hesitation or internal conflict in his expressions or body language, to avoid stereotyping and make the power dynamic more believable and compelling.
  • Refine the use of visual metaphors like the fishing line by ensuring they are unique to this scene or vary them slightly to avoid repetition; consider integrating them more seamlessly, perhaps through longer shots that allow the audience to interpret the symbolism without abrupt cuts.
  • Smooth the transition to the rally by adding a short beat or a line of dialogue that foreshadows the public announcement, such as Cheney glancing at his watch or mentioning the upcoming event, to create a more fluid narrative flow and maintain audience immersion.
  • Extend the scene slightly to build suspense around the agreement, perhaps by including a moment where Bush questions Cheney's terms more rigorously, or use the narrator's voice-over earlier in the scene to hint at Cheney's secrecy, making the reveal at the end more climactic and tied to the action.



Scene 19 -  Election Night Uncertainty and Transition Planning
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. FOUR SEASONS - AUSTIN - NIGHT

ON SCREEN: November 7, 2000, Bush vs. Gore

Room full of people watching the election results: Don and
Joyce Rumsfeld, Lynne, Mary and Heather, Liz and Philip,
Addington, Wolfowitz etc. In the back of the room Dick talks
to SCOOTER LIBBY.

SCOOTER LIBBY
Gore rescinded his concession.
They’re claiming Florida is too
close to call.

DICK
He can’t fucking rescind his
concession.

SCOOTER LIBBY
He just did. There’s going to be a
recount. What should we do?

Half beat as Cheney processes.

DICK
We play it like we’ve already won.
Which means we need to staff the
White House.

SCOOTER LIBBY
Who’s leading the transition team?

DICK
I’ll do it.

SCOOTER LIBBY
Um, that’s not really something a
Vice President does, is it?

DICK
It is now.

News reporting on election results.
55.


NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
Gore has called Governor Bush and
retracted his concession.

The room erupts. “No!” “He can’t do that!”


INT. CHENEY KITCHEN - A WEEK LATER - DAY

Addington, Liz, Mary, Lynne, Dick and AIDES work amidst tons
of folders, files, cell phones in the Cheney kitchen..

DICK
Wolfowitz. State or Pentagon?

ADDINGTON
Depends on who your Secretary of
Defense is.

DICK
Rummy.

ADDINGTON
100%

LIZ
Rumsfeld?

MARY
Doesn’t Bush Sr. hate Rummy?

DICK
That’s not a bad thing with W. He
wants to be his own man.

Dick checks his blackberry.

ADDINGTON
Rumsfeld believes in a robust
Executive. That’s good for us on
war powers.

LYNNE
(joking)
Just keep him out of state, he’ll
start World War three.

DICK
Halliburton gave us a 26 million
dollar exit package. Twice as much
as we were hoping for.

LYNNE
They’re no dummies.
56.


Cheney wiggles two fingers around on his right hand.

DICK
Uh. Sorry gang. But I think
perhaps... I should go to the
hospital...

LYNNE
Oh no. Are you kidding me?

Everyone circles around Dick.


INT. SUPREME COURT - DAY

MARSHALL
Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! All persons
having business before the
Honorable, the Supreme Court of the
United States, are admonished to
draw near and give their attention,
for the Court is now sitting. God
bless the United States and this
Honorable Court.

The Justices enter, sit. Whip pan reveal: JUSTICE SCALIA.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
December 12th 2000. Antonin Scalia,
remember him? And the Supreme Court
stopped the state of Florida from
completing their recount.

Clips of Washington D.C.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
George W Bush and Dick Cheney were
going to the Whitehouse by a margin
of 537 votes.


EXT. WASHINGTON DC. 2001 - DAY

OVERHEAD SHOT OF A PROCESSION OF 5 BLACK LIMOS DRIVING INTO
THE HEART OF DC.
Genres: ["Political Drama","Biographical"]

Summary On November 7, 2000, during election night at the Four Seasons hotel in Austin, Dick Cheney and his team react to Al Gore's rescinded concession and the call for a Florida recount. Cheney insists they act as if they've won and begins planning the presidential transition. A week later, in the Cheney kitchen, the family discusses cabinet appointments amidst the chaos of transition preparations, while Cheney experiences a health scare. The scene shifts to the Supreme Court on December 12, where a ruling halts the recount, securing George W. Bush's victory. It concludes with a symbolic shot of black limos arriving in Washington DC, marking the new administration's entry.
Strengths
  • Intense political discussions
  • Effective portrayal of strategic decision-making
  • Strong character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Lack of significant character development in this specific scene
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the high-stakes tension of the 2000 election night and Cheney's assertive personality, showing his immediate pivot to claiming victory despite uncertainty, which reinforces the film's theme of Cheney's hunger for power. However, the rapid time jumps—from election night to a week later in the kitchen, then to the Supreme Court, and finally to the DC procession—can feel abrupt and disjointed, potentially disorienting the audience and reducing emotional investment. This lack of smooth transitions might undermine the scene's ability to build suspense or allow viewers to fully absorb the implications of each moment.
  • Character development is somewhat superficial here; for instance, Cheney's health issue is introduced dramatically but resolved off-screen without exploration, missing a chance to delve deeper into his vulnerability and how it contrasts with his unyielding ambition. This could make Cheney feel less human and more like a caricature, especially in a biographical drama where personal stakes are crucial. Additionally, the family dynamics in the kitchen scene, while showing collaboration, lack depth—characters like Liz and Mary are present but don't contribute meaningfully beyond surface-level interactions, which diminishes the opportunity to explore the Cheneys' internal family conflicts that are hinted at in earlier scenes.
  • The dialogue is functional for advancing the plot, such as the discussion of cabinet appointments and Cheney's decision to lead the transition, but it often feels expository and on-the-nose, particularly lines like 'Rumsfeld believes in a robust Executive. That’s good for us on war powers.' This can make the conversation seem scripted rather than natural, pulling the audience out of the moment. The humorous elements, like Lynne's joke about Rumsfeld starting World War III, provide levity but might clash with the scene's overall serious tone, potentially diluting the gravity of the political maneuvering.
  • Visually, the scene uses strong elements like the crowded room erupting in disbelief and the cluttered kitchen to convey chaos and urgency, which aligns well with the film's style of mixing intimate and grand scales. However, the cut to the Supreme Court and the narrator's voice-over feels like a shortcut to explain historical events, relying too heavily on exposition rather than showing through action or character reactions. This could make the scene less cinematic and more like a history lesson, especially when compared to more dynamic sequences in the script that use visual metaphors effectively.
  • Thematically, the scene fits into the broader narrative of Cheney's rise to power and manipulation of systems, but it doesn't fully capitalize on building foreshadowing for future events, such as the Iraq War or his health struggles. The ending with the limo procession is a strong visual cap, symbolizing arrival and inevitability, but the transition from Cheney's personal health scare to this triumphant image lacks emotional payoff, making the scene feel unresolved and disconnected from the character's arc.
Suggestions
  • Smooth out the time jumps by using transitional devices, such as fade-outs or narrator bridges that tie the events together thematically, to maintain pacing and help the audience follow the progression without confusion.
  • Develop Cheney's health issue further by adding a brief, intimate moment—perhaps a quiet exchange with Lynne or a flashback—to show its personal impact, making it a recurring motif that ties into his determination and humanizes him without slowing the pace.
  • Refine the dialogue to be more subtle and character-driven; for example, integrate expository information about cabinet choices into natural conversations or conflicts, and balance humor with drama by ensuring light moments enhance character relationships rather than undercut tension.
  • Enhance visual storytelling by incorporating symbolic elements, like quick cuts to Cheney's past or metaphorical images (e.g., a ticking clock during his health scare), to reinforce themes of power and mortality, making the scene more engaging and less reliant on voice-over narration.
  • Strengthen thematic integration by adding subtle foreshadowing, such as references to future policies during the transition discussion, and ensure the scene ends with a stronger emotional beat, like a reflective pause from Cheney, to connect it more deeply to the overall narrative arc.



Scene 20 -  Reflections in the Oval Office
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT

Cheney walks the halls of the White House alone.

He stops at a CLOSED DOOR. Looks at it. REACHES OUT AND TURNS
THE HANDLE. Reveal: THE EMPTY OVAL OFFICE.
57.


Dick doesn’t enter but looks at the office for a long beat.

As he stands there we FLASH BACK TO THE DAY DICK FIRST GOT
HIS OWN OFFICE IN THE NIXON WHITE HOUSE AND CALLED LYNNE.

YOUNG DICK
(to baby Mary on phone)
Hey little Mary. My little Mary.
How are you doing?

YOUNG LYNNE
They’re both doing really well.
Except I’m trying to make this
dinner and it’s this, uh, Macaroni
and Cheese that they said was easy,
but it just keeps coming out a
little watery.

YOUNG DICK
It’s the milk, remember. You gotta
add more milk. Yep, make it
thicker.

YOUNG LYNNE
There’s so much I want to say right
now. You just keep doing what
you’re doing. You’re doing so
great.

They laugh.

YOUNG LYNNE (CONT’D)
You have earned something very
special from your wife.

YOUNG DICK
Listen! Listen! I’m buying wine and
I’m picking something up. Chinese?

YOUNG LYNNE
I really love you.

YOUNG DICK
I love you.

They laugh and giggle. And then the memory is gone.

Dick stands in the doorway shrouded in darkness and silence.


INT. OFFICE OF THE VICE PRESIDENT - A FEW DAYS LATER

Cheney, Scooter, Addington, Mary Matalin, PAUL WOLFOWITZ, 52,
and Rumsfeld all sit in Cheney’s office.
58.


DICK
Scooter, why don’t you let everyone
know the lay of the land?

MUSIC: DRUM BEAT

SCOOTER LIBBY
Of course. As you all know, I’m
Scooter Libby, Dick’s Chief of
Staff...
Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary In this poignant scene, Dick Cheney walks through the dimly lit halls of the White House, pausing at the empty Oval Office, which prompts a nostalgic flashback to his early days in the Nixon administration. He shares a warm phone conversation with his wife Lynne about their daughter, filled with love and everyday life. The scene shifts back to the present, where Cheney, now Vice President, prepares for a meeting with his team, including Scooter Libby and Donald Rumsfeld, as they anticipate discussing pressing matters.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character exploration
  • Intimate moments
Weaknesses
  • Lack of plot progression
  • Low conflict intensity
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses contrast between past and present to humanize Dick Cheney, showing a tender, familial side in the flashback against his isolated, powerful figure in the present. This juxtaposition highlights the theme of personal sacrifice for ambition, which is central to the screenplay's critique of Cheney's character. However, the flashback feels somewhat generic and nostalgic, relying on clichéd domestic dialogue (e.g., discussing macaroni and cheese) that doesn't deeply reveal new layers of Cheney's personality beyond what's already established in earlier scenes. This could make the moment feel redundant if the audience has already seen similar explorations of his family life, potentially diluting the emotional impact and failing to advance the plot significantly in a 36-scene structure where every moment should build tension or reveal critical insights.
  • The transition from the reflective hallway sequence to the team meeting is abrupt and could disrupt the scene's rhythm. The cut from Cheney's solitary gaze in darkness to a group discussion in a well-lit office lacks a smooth narrative bridge, which might confuse viewers or make the scene feel disjointed. Additionally, the ending with Scooter Libby's introduction and the drum beat music cue signals a shift to action, but it comes across as perfunctory, not fully capitalizing on the build-up of Cheney's introspection to create a more dramatic payoff. This could weaken the scene's role in escalating the story's momentum, especially since Scene 19 ends with the administration's arrival in DC, and this scene should ideally heighten the sense of Cheney's consolidating power.
  • Visually, the empty Oval Office is a strong symbolic element, evoking themes of ambition and isolation, but it's underutilized in this context. Cheney's prolonged gaze is meant to be reflective, but without more subtle visual cues or internal monologue (beyond the flashback), it risks coming across as static and overly expository. The flashback itself is well-integrated cinematically, with the phone conversation providing a warm, intimate counterpoint, but the return to the present feels abrupt and unresolved, leaving Cheney's emotional state ambiguous. This might not effectively convey the screenplay's satirical tone, as the scene leans more towards melodrama than critique, potentially missing an opportunity to underscore Cheney's cold pragmatism through sharper contrasts or ironic elements.
  • In terms of dialogue, the flashback conversation is charming and reveals the loving relationship between Young Dick and Lynne, which adds depth to their partnership. However, it lacks subtext or foreshadowing that could tie it more explicitly to Cheney's current trajectory, such as hints of his growing ruthlessness or the cost of his ambition. In the present-day segment, the dialogue is minimal and functional (e.g., Cheney's prompt to Scooter), which serves to keep the focus on setup for future scenes but doesn't engage emotionally or thematically as strongly as it could. Overall, while the scene fits into the broader narrative of Cheney's rise, it feels like a transitional piece that could be more dynamic to maintain audience engagement in a politically charged story.
  • The scene's length and pacing might not optimally serve the film's satirical style. At around 2 minutes (based on typical screenwriting pacing), it spends significant time on Cheney's reflection, which could slow the narrative flow in a screenplay that often uses quick cuts and montages. This contrasts with the high-energy tone of surrounding scenes, like the election night chaos in Scene 19 or the negotiation in Scene 18, making Scene 20 feel like a brief pause that doesn't fully capitalize on building suspense or character arc progression. As the 20th scene in a 36-scene structure, it should ideally reinforce key motifs (e.g., power dynamics) while propelling the story forward, but it risks feeling insular and less connected to the larger critique of governmental overreach.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the flashback with more specific, thematic details that foreshadow Cheney's future actions, such as incorporating subtle hints of his ambition during the phone call (e.g., Young Dick mentioning his excitement about power in a way that contrasts with his loving demeanor), to make it more integral to the character's development and tie it closer to the overall narrative.
  • Improve transitions by adding a visual or auditory bridge, such as a sound effect (e.g., a echoing footstep or a faint hum of White House activity) that links the solitary hallway moment to the team meeting, or use a dissolve effect during the gaze to blend past and present more seamlessly, reducing abruptness and increasing emotional continuity.
  • Add subtext or internal conflict in the present-day sequence by showing Cheney's facial expressions or body language during his gaze at the Oval Office to convey internal turmoil (e.g., a slight smile or a furrowed brow), making the reflection more engaging and aligning with the screenplay's critical tone; similarly, extend Scooter's briefing slightly to include a line that hints at upcoming conflicts, building anticipation for the next scenes.
  • Strengthen visual metaphors by incorporating elements that echo earlier scenes, such as a quick cut to a symbolic object in the Oval Office (e.g., an empty chair representing lost idealism) or using lighting to contrast the warm, lit flashback with the cold, shadowy present, to heighten the thematic depth and make the scene more cinematically striking.
  • Adjust pacing by shortening the gaze and flashback if needed to maintain momentum, or expand the team meeting introduction with a brief exchange that establishes group dynamics (e.g., a knowing look between Cheney and Rumsfeld), ensuring the scene feels purposeful and contributes to the escalating drama without dragging, especially in a satire that relies on brisk storytelling.



Scene 21 -  Power Plays in the Oval Office
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. OVAL OFFICE - WHITE HOUSE

A GIANT HAND PUTS A “GEORGE W BUSH GAME PIECE” (LIKE
STRATEGO) DOWN IN THE OVAL OFFICE.

SCOOTER LIBBY (V.O.)
But I’m also a special adviser to
the President.

A GAME PIECE OF SCOOTER APPEARS IN THE ROOM.

SCOOTER LIBBY (V.O.)
Mary Matalin will serve as an
adviser to the VP and to Bush.

GAME PIECE OF MATALIN APPEARS.

SCOOTER LIBBY (V.O.)
David Addington, Dick’s main legal
counsel, will play center field on
all matters relating to executive
power.

GAME PIECE OF ADDINGTON APPEARS.

SCOOTER LIBBY (V.O.)
The President has Alberto Gonzales,
Karl Rove and Karen Hughes as his
team.

GAME PIECES OF THOSE THREE APPEAR.

SCOOTER LIBBY (V.O.)
Quite frankly Gonzales has no clue,
Rove is a hack and Hughes should be
in double A ball.

Their PIECES GET SWEPT OFF THE BOARD BY A GIANT HAND. BUSH IS
NOW SURROUNDED BY CHENEY GAME PIECES.
59.


SCOOTER LIBBY
We will be automatically BCC’d on
all emails the President receives
or sends. As well as have access to
his schedule the second it is set
or changed.

DICK
We’ll also be receiving the daily
intelligence briefing before the
President so we can get inside the
decision curve.

RUMSFELD
Jesus. Bush approved all of this?

DICK
We have... an understanding.

RUMSFELD
What about the emails? Paper
shredders don’t work with emails.

DICK
The entire administration will run
off of the RNC’s private server.

ADDINGTON
And we’ve deactivated automatic
archiving. We’re clean.

SCOOTER LIBBY
Okay, so over at the Pentagon we’ve
got Don as Secretary of Defense.
Paul Wolfowitz, who worked with
Team B in the Ford days, as
Undersecretary of Defense.

More GAME PIECES GO ONTO A GAME BOARD that shows the
Pentagon, DOJ, White House, and all of DC.

DICK
Let’s check what kind of plans they
have to invade Iraq, okay Paul?

PAUL WOLFOWITZ
It’s already in the works.

SCOOTER LIBBY
We’ve got Ashcroft at the DOJ.
State seems to be the only tricky
department. That’s Colin Powell and
his guy Lawrence Wilkerson.
60.


PAUL WOLFOWITZ
We’ve got Bolton over there. He’s a
loose cannon but loyal.

DICK
I want to get Liz in there as well.
Let’s make sure that happens.

SCOOTER LIBBY
Consider it done.
(back to business)
And this list of “our” people
doesn’t include about 800 others
lobbyists and industry insiders we
placed in the regulatory jobs.

The game board is flooded with pieces everywhere. Some of
them have corporate logos on them.

RUMSFELD
Hey. What did you do with W’s
friends? Pataki, Ridge, Thompson? I
didn’t hear their names.

DICK
They were not offered jobs in this
administration at this time.

RUMSFELD
“Were not offered jobs at this
time?” Have you gotten more
ruthless Dick!? You must not be
getting laid!

Beat. It gets uncomfortable for a second.

SCOOTER LIBBY
Moving on!


INT. WHITE HOUSE HALLWAYS - LATER

Don and Dick walk through the hallways together just like old
times.

DICK
Listen Don, you haven’t been here
in over 20 years. Times have
changed. The softer touch is the
norm now. We have the conservative
radio and TV doing the yelling for
us.
61.


RUMSFELD
Is your old friend embarrassing
you? Is that it Dick?

DICK
Soft touch, that’s all.
(looks at watch)
Alright. I have to go to my office
over at the House of
Representatives.

RUMSFELD
You mean the Senate? Vice President
is the tie breaker in the Senate.

DICK
No. I mean the House.


EXT. WASHINGTON D.C. - DAY

QUICK FLASHES of a car racing around Capital Hill.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Dick Cheney had used an old
connection with former wrestling
coach and speaker of the house
Dennis Hastert to get an office at
the House of Representatives. The
house is where revenue bills
originate and he wanted to be near
the money faucet.
Genres: ["Political Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In scene 21, the Oval Office becomes a strategic game board as Scooter Libby narrates the consolidation of power within the George W. Bush administration. Key figures like Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and Paul Wolfowitz discuss their plans, including the controversial access to the President's communications and the ongoing preparations for the Iraq invasion. Tensions arise when Rumsfeld questions the exclusion of Bush's friends from key positions, leading to a moment of discomfort quickly deflected by Libby. The scene highlights Cheney's manipulative strategies and the infiltration of loyalists into government roles, culminating in a visual metaphor of game pieces flooding the board, symbolizing their control over the administration.
Strengths
  • Effective use of metaphor
  • Tense and strategic dialogue
  • Intriguing power dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Lack of character development
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses the game piece metaphor to visually represent the power dynamics and Cheney's strategic maneuvering, which aligns with the film's satirical tone and helps convey complex political concepts in an accessible way. This visual device is engaging and memorable, making abstract ideas like email surveillance and cabinet control more concrete for the audience, but it risks coming across as overly simplistic or cartoonish, potentially undermining the gravity of the real-world implications being depicted. By treating political intrigue like a board game, it emphasizes the theme of manipulation, but it might alienate viewers who prefer more subtle symbolism, as it could feel like it's spoon-feeding the audience rather than allowing them to infer the subtext.
  • The dialogue is heavily expository, which is necessary to advance the plot and explain the intricacies of Cheney's plan, but it often lacks naturalism and dramatic tension. For instance, Scooter Libby's voice-over and the rapid-fire briefing on appointments and strategies can feel like a data dump, prioritizing information delivery over character-driven conflict. This approach works in a documentary-style narrative like this script, but it might benefit from more varied pacing to prevent the scene from becoming monotonous. Additionally, Rumsfeld's crude joke about Cheney's personal life adds a moment of levity and character insight, highlighting their familiarity, but it creates an awkward tonal shift that feels unresolved and could disrupt the flow, making the scene less cohesive.
  • Character development is strong in showing Cheney's calculated and dominant personality, with lines like 'We have... an understanding' reinforcing his control over the administration. However, the supporting characters, such as Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz, are somewhat one-dimensional here, serving primarily as mouthpieces for exposition rather than evolving or revealing deeper layers. This is a missed opportunity to explore interpersonal dynamics, especially given the history between Cheney and Rumsfeld from earlier scenes, which could add emotional depth and make the power play more engaging. The scene's focus on Cheney's infallibility might also make him less relatable or human, potentially alienating viewers if not balanced with vulnerability shown in other parts of the script.
  • Pacing is brisk, which suits the scene's purpose of establishing Cheney's consolidation of power, but it can feel rushed, particularly with the quick cuts between the game board setup and the hallway conversation. The transition to the external flash of Washington D.C. and the narrator's voice-over at the end provides necessary context about Cheney's motives, but it relies heavily on telling rather than showing, which could weaken the cinematic impact. In the context of the overall script, this scene serves as a pivotal moment in Cheney's rise, but it might overlap with similar expository elements in adjacent scenes (like Scene 20's reflective tone or Scene 22's broader implications), leading to repetition that dilutes the narrative's momentum.
  • The tone maintains the script's blend of satire and seriousness, with humorous elements like the game pieces contrasting the high-stakes political discussions, but this juxtaposition isn't always seamless. For example, the uncomfortable beat after Rumsfeld's joke is a good attempt at adding realism and levity, but it's quickly glossed over with 'Moving on!', which might indicate a fear of lingering on uncomfortable moments, potentially missing a chance to deepen the audience's understanding of Cheney's relationships and the human cost of his ambition. Visually, the scene is inventive with the Stratego-like elements, but it could benefit from more diverse shot compositions to avoid static talking-head setups, enhancing the viewer's immersion in the intrigue.
  • In terms of thematic integration, the scene successfully builds on the script's exploration of executive power and manipulation, tying back to earlier discussions of the Unitary Executive Theory and foreshadowing future events like the Iraq invasion. However, the heavy use of voice-over and direct explanations might cater too much to viewers unfamiliar with the historical context, at the expense of dramatic tension. This could make the scene feel more like a history lesson than a compelling narrative beat, especially when compared to more dynamic scenes like the 9/11 sequences, which use action and emotion to drive the story. Overall, while the scene is informative and advances the plot, it could be more emotionally resonant by incorporating conflict or personal stakes to balance the procedural elements.
Suggestions
  • Refine the visual metaphor by integrating it more organically, perhaps by starting with a subtle reference to games or strategy in dialogue before revealing the game board, to make it feel less forced and more tied to character perspectives.
  • Incorporate more conflict into the dialogue to make it less expository; for example, have Rumsfeld or Wolfowitz question Cheney's plans more aggressively to create debate, adding tension and revealing character motivations without relying on voice-over.
  • Break up the pacing with intercuts to other locations or characters reacting to the decisions, such as a quick shot of Bush or a subordinate, to maintain visual interest and prevent the scene from feeling static or overly talky.
  • Develop character interactions further, especially the awkward moment with Rumsfeld's joke, by extending it slightly to show Cheney's reaction or use it to hint at underlying tensions, making the scene more relatable and human.
  • Reduce reliance on narrator voice-over by showing Cheney's strategic moves through action, such as visual representations of email access or office assignments, to enhance cinematic storytelling and build suspense.
  • Strengthen transitions between sections, like from the Oval Office to the hallway walk, by using smoother cuts or recurring motifs (e.g., the sound of footsteps) to improve flow and emphasize thematic continuity within the scene.



Scene 22 -  The Rise of Cheney's Influence
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. HALLWAYS OF THE CAPITOL - DAY

SPED UP TRACKING SHOT down the halls of the Capitol.

Tracking stops, door opens. It’s DENNIS HASTERT, 60.

DENNIS HASTERT
Hey Dick! Will this work for you?

Camera TRACKS AWAY SUPER FAST AGAIN DOWN HALLS TO THE SENATE.

INTERCUT: Curt the Narrator jogging and camera fast tracks
through Capital Hill.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And not one, but two offices at the
Senate...

Door opens and SENATOR TRENT LOTT is there.
62.


TRENT LOTT
Hey Dick. I found this extra office
for you.

Camera tracks away FAST AGAIN.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
One in the Pentagon...

Down a HALLWAY OF THE PENTAGON. OFFICE door opens...

DONALD RUMSFELD
I picked out this one personally.
And I got you a welcoming gift!

Reveal a bottle of Glenlivet on the desk.

CAMERA SPEEDS AWAY AGAIN down the hall.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And later when Cheney’s team was
combing through the intelligence on
Iraq, a conference room at the CIA.

CAMERA SPEEDS DOWN HALLWAY TO OPEN DOOR. GEORGE TENET 57, the
garrulous head of the CIA stands inside.

GEORGE TENET
The room is soundproof and secure
Mr. Vice President.

SPEEDS AWAY AGAIN...

GAME BOARD: ONE PARTICULAR BUILDING LIGHTS UP.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
But there was one relatively new
think tank that had become the
place to be in Washington DC.
Americans for Tax Reform.


INT. BIG CONFERENCE ROOM WITH PODIUM AT THE FRONT - DAY

HUNDREDS OF GOP CONGRESSMEN, LOBBYISTS AND MEMBERS OF THE
RIGHT WING MEDIA are seated and waiting.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Grover Norquist ran the anti-tax
group with huge funding from the
Koch brothers network, big oil and
tobacco.

Dick and Lynne enter and THE WHOLE ROOM STANDS.
63.


NARRATOR
His Wednesday meeting as it was
called had become the center of the
Republican world.

GROVER NORQUIST, 48, roundish, bearded, starts the meeting.

GROVER NORQUIST
Let’s talk about the estate tax.
This has been hard to eliminate
because the tax only applies to
estates larger than 2 million
dollars. But marketing guru Frank
Luntz is here to help...

FRANK LUNTZ, 42 and portly stands up.

FRANK LUNTZ
Hello all. Getting regular people
to support cutting taxes for the
very wealthy has always been very
difficult. But I think we’ve had a
break through...


INT. FOCUS GROUP ROOM - DAY

FRANK LUNTZ, 42, stands in front of a DOZEN REGULAR PEOPLE.

FRANK LUNTZ
The Estate Tax kicks in for anyone
inheriting over $2 Million dollars.
How many of you have a problem with
that?

One guy raises his hand.

FRANK LUNTZ (CONT’D)
Now, how many of you would have a
problem with someone called a
“death tax?”

ALL TWELVE HANDS GO UP

Frank turns to the two-way mirror to give a DOUBLE thumbs up.
Then we flash to another focus group already in progress.

FRANK LUNTZ (CONT’D)
Instead of global warming, which we
all agree sounds very scary, we
call it... climate change?

ALL TWELVE HANDS GO UP
64.


EXT. LINE OF CARS STOPPED AT A RED LIGHT - DAY

Track past cars, hearing their RADIOS. A mixture of sports
talk, classic rock and a fair amount of RIGHT WING RADIO.

SNIPPETS OF TALK RADIO (V.O.)
Folks, the government is taking
your money AFTER you die!... It’s a
death tax... Death tax... The
liberals want you to pay a tax when
you die! etc.

QUICK CUTS TO WEB PAGES: DRUDGE REPORT, THE WASHINGTON TIMES,
NEWS MAX: “DEATH TAX MUST GO!”


INT. MIDDLE AMERICA HOME - DAY

Kurt the Narrator plays on the floor with his son while Mom
makes lunch in the kitchen. Reports on the Death Tax blares
on the TV with our BLONDE ANCHOR at the desk.

NEWSCASTER (SOT)
The liberals would tax you for
laughing or crying if they could.

NARRATOR
So with one of the biggest media
and political machines every
created behind him, Cheney was able
to squash action Global Warming,
cut taxes for the super rich and
gut regulations for massive
corporations.

CUT TO:


INT. NEWSROOM - DAY

30’S FEMALE BLONDE ANCHOR AT A NEWS DESK

NEWSCASTER
And then there was Cheney’s
National Energy Policy Development
Group. His first major test to
expand executive power.
Genres: ["Political Drama","Satire"]

Summary In Scene 22, a rapid montage showcases Dick Cheney's consolidation of power as he receives offices from key political figures like Dennis Hastert, Trent Lott, and Donald Rumsfeld. The scene highlights Cheney's growing influence through a meeting at the Americans for Tax Reform think tank, where Grover Norquist and Frank Luntz discuss manipulative rebranding strategies to sway public opinion against the 'death tax' and 'global warming.' The narrator reflects on how these tactics have successfully blocked progressive policies and strengthened conservative agendas, culminating in a newsroom report on Cheney's National Energy Policy Development Group as a pivotal moment for executive power expansion.
Strengths
  • Clever use of visual metaphors
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Effective pacing and structure
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some characters lack depth
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses fast-paced tracking shots and montages to convey Dick Cheney's expanding influence across various power centers, mirroring the theme of unchecked power and manipulation prevalent in the script. However, the rapid editing might overwhelm the audience, making it hard to absorb key details or emotional nuances, which could dilute the impact of Cheney's character development and the satirical elements.
  • The narrator's voice-over, while informative, dominates the scene and risks feeling didactic, telling rather than showing the audience about Cheney's machinations. This approach can make the scene less cinematic and more like a lecture, potentially alienating viewers who prefer subtler storytelling, especially since the narrator's jogging intercuts add a disjointed feel that doesn't fully integrate with the main action.
  • The focus on rebranding terms like 'estate tax' to 'death tax' and 'global warming' to 'climate change' is a strong satirical element that highlights media manipulation, fitting well with the script's overall critique of political tactics. However, the scene could benefit from deeper exploration of how these changes affect real people, as the domestic scene with the narrator and his family is brief and underdeveloped, missing an opportunity to humanize the consequences.
  • Visually, the sped-up sequences and quick cuts are energetic and engaging, but they may sacrifice clarity and depth. For instance, the transitions between different locations and the introduction of characters like Grover Norquist and Frank Luntz feel abrupt, which could confuse viewers not familiar with these historical figures, reducing the scene's accessibility and educational value.
  • Thematically, the scene builds on the power consolidation from previous scenes (e.g., Scene 21) by showing Cheney's strategic positioning, but the abrupt shift to the National Energy Policy Development Group at the end feels tacked on. This lack of smooth thematic progression disrupts the flow and might leave audiences wondering how it connects directly to the tax reform discussion, weakening the scene's cohesion within the larger narrative.
  • Dialogue in the focus groups and meetings is expository and on-the-nose, effectively conveying information but lacking subtlety or conflict. For example, Frank Luntz's explanations are straightforward but could be more dynamic with added tension or character-driven interactions, making the scene more engaging and less like a history lesson.
Suggestions
  • Slow down the pacing in key moments, such as the focus group demonstrations, by using longer takes or close-ups on audience reactions to allow the satire to land more effectively and give viewers time to process the implications.
  • Reduce the narrator's voice-over by incorporating more visual metaphors or character actions that illustrate Cheney's influence, such as showing him strategically placing calls or making decisions in the background, to create a more immersive and cinematic experience.
  • Expand the domestic scene with the narrator and his family to show the real-world impact of the 'death tax' messaging, perhaps by having a short interaction where the family discusses it, adding emotional depth and reinforcing the theme of how political manipulation affects everyday lives.
  • Improve transitions between the office acquisitions and the think tank meeting by using recurring visual motifs, like Cheney's shadow or a symbolic object, to create a smoother narrative flow and emphasize his omnipresence without relying on rapid cuts.
  • Strengthen the connection to the energy policy by having a character, such as Cheney or Norquist, explicitly link tax reforms to energy interests during the meeting, ensuring thematic consistency and preparing the audience for future plot points related to executive power.
  • Make dialogue more natural and conflict-driven by adding interpersonal tension, such as a skeptic in the focus group challenging Luntz's tactics, which could heighten drama and make the expository elements feel more organic and engaging.



Scene 23 -  Crisis and Conspiracy: The Day of 9/11
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. OFFICE OF THE VICE PRESIDENT - DAY

Libby, Addington and Cheney sit in Cheney’s office.
65.


DICK CHENEY
I don’t understand what the goddamn
problem is! I want to hear what the
energy CEOs need and I’m not
allowed to?

SCOOTER LIBBY
It’s called FACA.

DICK
What the hell is FACA?

DAVID ADDINGTON
It’s the Federal Advisory
Committees Act. Congress got their
panties in a bunch that elected
officials would just let CEOs roll
in and, you know, write the laws.

SCOOTER LIBBY
The Act demands that appropriate
government officials be present.

Tense beat

DAVID ADDINGTON
Hold on a second.

Addington picks up the phone and dials.

DAVID ADDINGTON (CONT’D)
Hello? What’s your name?... Doug?
Doug, how long have you been
working reception at the Department
of Energy? Three months? Perfect.


INT. WHITE HOUSE MEETING ROOM - DAY

CU: NAME TAG READING “DOUG.” Some guy in a Men’s Warehouse
suit, DOUG, 24, sitting in the corner of a conference room.

DOUG
So what am I supposed to do?

DAVID ADDINGTON
Just sit there and be quiet.

Cheney and Addington sit at the large table very far away.

Two men walk in, FACES PIXILATED AND VOICES DISTORTED.
66.


DICK
Hello (BEEP) and (BEEP). How’s
business at (BEEP)?

OTHER MAN
We’re good. (BEEP) has been
performing quite well and (BEEP)
and (BEEP) are quite optimistic.

They all shake hands and have a seat.

ADDINGTON
(pointing to Doug)
Oh, he’s with the Energy
Department.

Doug now listening to music on his head phones gives a
chipper thumbs up.


INT. ENVIRONMENTAL GROUP’S HEADQUARTERS - DAY

CU of hands opening a large envelope and removing copies of
maps that are laid on a table.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
The details of Cheney's meetings
with the energy CEO's were never
disclosed.

CU on a MAP OF ALL THE IRAQI OIL FIELDS with OIL COMPANIES’
NAMES ON THEM...

NARRATOR
But a freedom of information
request did provide some documents,
including a map of Iraq's oil
fields with all of the oil
companies that would be interested
in acquiring them if “somehow” they
were ever to become available.

We pan over the map. Seeing names like Exxon, BP, Shell etc.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
And then, it happened.

SMASH CUT TO:

TV SCREEN: ACTUAL DiTech Commercial for mortgage
consolidation that was playing on 9/11, is interrupted by
BREAKING NEWS.
67.


NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
This just in, you are looking at a
very disturbing live shot. That is
the World Trade Center and we have
unconfirmed reports that a plane
has crashed into one of the towers.


INT. WHITE HOUSE OFFICE OF VICE PRESIDENT - 9/11 2001 - DAY

Cheney, Condi Rice and Mary Matalin are watching CNN. ONE OF
THE TWIN TOWERS IS SMOKING. SUDDENLY A SECOND PLANE SOARS
INTO FRAME AND HITS THE OTHER TOWER. Everyone gasps.

CNN ANCHOR (SOT)
Oh my God! That was a second plane!
A second plane has hit the south
tower!!

SECRET SERVICE AGENTS rush in.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT
Mr. Vice President, we have
credible information that a plane
is headed for the White House at
this moment. We have less than a
minute to get to the secure
underground bunker.

Cheney is transfixed by the smoking towers. He doesn’t move.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT (CONT’D)
Let’s MOVE!!

THE SECRET SERVICE AGENT GRABS CHENEY BY THE BELT AND LIFTS
HIM OFF THE GROUND. Everyone rushes to the door and down
stairs. They make their way into a Cold War era bunker. The
Secret Service Agent straggles behind with another AGENT.


INT. HAIR SALON - SAME TIME

A TV in a hair salon shows that the Pentagon has also been
hit. Lynne is there arguing with her SECRET SERVICE detail.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT #2
But Mrs. Cheney I’m being told no
one is to go to the White House.
It’s not safe.

LYNNE
I said, you take me to the White
House!
68.


Sirens blare in the background as Secret Service escorts
Lynne to a car.
Genres: ["Political Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this tense scene, Dick Cheney expresses frustration over FACA restrictions on meeting energy CEOs, leading to a workaround involving a young receptionist named Doug. As they conduct a distorted meeting with anonymous CEOs, a narrator reveals FOIA documents detailing potential oil interests in Iraq. The scene shifts dramatically to September 11, 2001, where Cheney, Condi Rice, and Mary Matalin watch in shock as the World Trade Center is attacked, prompting an urgent evacuation to a bunker. Meanwhile, Lynne Cheney insists on going to the White House despite security risks, culminating in her being escorted away amid chaos.
Strengths
  • Realistic portrayal of a national crisis
  • Effective tension-building
  • Authentic character reactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of personal emotions amidst the crisis
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses juxtaposition to link Cheney's energy policy machinations with the 9/11 attacks, creating a thematic connection that underscores the film's critique of how personal and political ambitions can intersect with historical events. However, the rapid shifts between locations and time periods can feel disjointed, potentially overwhelming the audience and reducing the emotional weight of key moments, such as the 9/11 evacuation, by not allowing enough time for tension to build organically.
  • The heavy reliance on narrator voice-over to explain concepts like FACA and the FOIA documents diminishes the scene's dramatic potential. In screenwriting, showing rather than telling is crucial for engaging viewers; here, the VO often feels like a crutch that interrupts the flow, making the narrative less immersive and more didactic, which could alienate audiences who prefer subtlety in storytelling.
  • Character development is somewhat lacking, particularly for Dick Cheney. While his frustration with FACA is portrayed, there's little insight into his internal motivations or emotional state, making him appear as a one-dimensional figure driven solely by ambition. This is compounded by the abrupt transition to 9/11, where his reaction could be more nuanced to reflect his complex personality, helping to humanize him and strengthen the audience's understanding of his role in the larger story.
  • The comedic elements, such as Doug's thumbs-up gesture while listening to music, clash with the scene's serious undertones, especially when it cuts to the 9/11 attacks. This tonal inconsistency might undermine the gravity of the historical events and the film's satirical intent, as humor can inadvertently lighten moments that should evoke shock or horror, potentially confusing viewers about the intended mood.
  • Visually, the pixilation and distortion of the energy CEOs' faces and voices is a creative choice that adds a layer of secrecy and intrigue, but it risks coming across as gimmicky or overly stylized, which could distract from the core narrative. Additionally, the smash cut to 9/11 footage feels abrupt and exploitative, lacking a smooth narrative bridge that could better integrate this pivotal historical event with Cheney's personal arc, making the connection feel forced rather than earned.
  • The scene's structure, while ambitious in covering multiple plot points, suffers from pacing issues. The quick cuts and montages, such as the transition from the energy meeting to the FOIA reveal and then to 9/11, cram too much information into a short span, which might overwhelm viewers and dilute the impact of individual beats. This is particularly evident in the parallel scene with Lynne Cheney, which, while adding a personal touch, feels underdeveloped and could benefit from more focus to parallel Dick's actions more effectively.
Suggestions
  • Smooth out transitions between scenes by using visual motifs, such as recurring imagery of maps or clocks, to signal time shifts and maintain narrative flow, helping to reduce disorientation and build tension more effectively.
  • Reduce voice-over narration by incorporating more visual storytelling elements, such as showing characters reacting to documents or using symbolic actions (e.g., Cheney poring over maps) to convey information, allowing the audience to infer details and increasing emotional engagement.
  • Add subtle character moments, like a brief flashback or internal monologue for Cheney, to deepen his portrayal and explore his motivations, making him more relatable and complex while tying into the overall arc of his rise to power.
  • Refine the tone by minimizing comedic elements or integrating them more satirically, ensuring they complement rather than contradict serious events; for instance, reframe Doug's role to emphasize irony without breaking immersion, especially before cuts to dramatic sequences like 9/11.
  • Enhance foreshadowing by building subtle hints earlier in the scene or script about the impending 9/11 attacks, such as ominous news reports or Cheney's distracted demeanor, to make the transition feel more organic and heighten the dramatic impact.
  • Focus on pacing by either shortening less critical sections (like the energy CEO meeting) or expanding key emotional beats (such as the 9/11 evacuation) to allow for better rhythm, and develop Lynne's parallel scene with more dialogue or action to create a stronger counterpoint to Dick's story, reinforcing themes of family and power.



Scene 24 -  Crisis Command: Decisions in the Bunker
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. UNDERGROUND WHITE HOUSE BUNKER - 9/11 9:38AM

Cheney, on the phone amidst the chaos, Norman Mineta,
Addington, Condi Rice, Scooter Libby and Karen Hughes and a
few others are there.

STAFFER
That’s right. We’ve got planes in
the air and no where for them to
land. Permission for them to land
in Canadian Airports. International
flights into Newfoundland.

Dick hangs up a call with the President.

STAFFER (CONT’D)
Sir, Don Rumsfeld on 3.

Cheney points to the speaker phone.

CHENEY
That?

He picks up the line.

DICK
You have authorization to shoot
down any aircraft deemed a threat.

Beat.

RUMSFELD
Presidential authority?

DICK
That’s correct. All orders are
UNODIR.

Condi and the Staffer make eye contact.

CONDI RICE
UNODIR?

KAREN HUGHES
Unless otherwise directed.

CONDI RICE
Mr. Vice President are we sure
these are the proper rules of
engagement.
69.


DICK
The country’s under attack, the ROE
is fluid. David?

DAVID ADDINGTON
Yes Mr. Vice President.

Addington leans to Cheney. They talk in hushed tones.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Now we don't know what exactly what
the people in that room were
thinking, but it's safe to assume
that at least one person wondered
why, in the midst of the most
fateful day in American history,
was Dick Cheney talking to his
lawyer?

Karen Hughes tries to get Cheney’s attention.

KAREN HUGHES
(gets off another phone)
...Mr. Vice President, the
Congressional Members you sent to
Mount Weather Emergency Operations
Center want to leave.

DICK
No.

KAREN HUGHES
Excuse me?

DICK
They’re not going anywhere. Just
tell them, we’ve got all the
helicopters.

KAREN HUGHES
Yes, sir.

CLIP: The Twin Towers crumble to the ground.

Lynne leans into Dick.

LYNNE
Are we at war?

DICK
Yes we are.

LYNNE
With who?
70.


Dick clasps his hands and considers the question.

L/3 “The Unitary Executive”

STOCK: EXT. New York

People running through the streets covered in ash.
Genres: ["Political Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the Underground White House Bunker on September 11, 2001, Vice President Dick Cheney navigates the escalating crisis of the 9/11 attacks. He authorizes Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to shoot down threatening aircraft under UNODIR orders, prompting questions from Condoleezza Rice about the rules of engagement. Cheney consults his lawyer, David Addington, amidst the chaos, while Karen Hughes relays requests from Congressional members that he denies. The scene captures the urgency and tension of decision-making during a national emergency, culminating in Cheney confirming to his wife, Lynne, that they are at war, as footage of the Twin Towers collapsing and chaos in New York underscores the gravity of the situation.
Strengths
  • Realistic portrayal of a crisis situation
  • Effective tension-building
  • Strong character dynamics and interactions
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly technical for general audiences
  • Limited exploration of emotional depth in characters under extreme stress
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaos and high-stakes atmosphere of 9/11 in the bunker, using concise dialogue and visual elements like the stock footage of the Twin Towers collapsing to evoke a sense of urgency and historical gravity. This aligns well with the overall script's satirical tone, emphasizing Cheney's decisive and secretive nature, which is a recurring theme. However, the rapid shift between phone calls, consultations, and external events can feel disjointed, potentially overwhelming the audience and diluting the emotional impact. For instance, Cheney's immediate authorization of shoot-down orders and the hushed conversation with Addington are pivotal, but they lack deeper context or visual cues that could make Cheney's motivations clearer, making it harder for viewers to connect emotionally or understand the strategic implications beyond the narrator's speculation.
  • The use of the narrator's voice-over to question why Cheney is consulting his lawyer adds an introspective layer that enhances the script's critical commentary on power and secrecy. It serves to bridge the audience's understanding of Cheney's character as manipulative and opportunistic, consistent with earlier scenes like his energy policy maneuvers in Scene 23. That said, this voice-over risks feeling heavy-handed or expository, as it directly tells the audience what to think rather than showing it through action or dialogue, which could undermine the scene's tension by pulling focus from the immediate drama. In a screenplay that relies heavily on voice-over throughout, this repetition might desensitize viewers or make the narrative feel less cinematic.
  • Character interactions, such as Condi Rice's questioning of the rules of engagement and Karen Hughes' explanation of UNODIR, highlight interpersonal dynamics and the chain of command, which is a strength in building tension and showing Cheney's dominance. However, these exchanges come across as somewhat formulaic and expository, with dialogue that feels more like information delivery than natural conversation. This could alienate viewers who are familiar with the historical events, as it assumes a lack of prior knowledge, and it doesn't fully explore the characters' internal conflicts or relationships. For example, Lynne's brief appearance and question about the enemy provide a humanizing moment, but it's underdeveloped, missing an opportunity to delve into the personal toll of Cheney's actions, which could add depth and contrast to his public persona.
  • Visually, the scene uses effective elements like the cramped bunker setting, sirens, and stock footage to immerse the audience in the panic of 9/11, reinforcing the script's theme of unchecked executive power. However, the transitions between real-time action and the narrator's voice-over or stock clips can disrupt the flow, making the scene feel montage-like rather than a cohesive unit. This might stem from the script's broader structure, which jumps between time periods and locations, but in this specific scene, it could benefit from smoother integration to maintain suspense. Additionally, the ending with stock footage of people fleeing in ash feels abrupt and tacked on, serving more as a punctuation mark than a narrative conclusion, which might leave viewers wanting a stronger emotional or thematic resolution.
  • Overall, the scene successfully advances the plot by showing Cheney's immediate response to 9/11 and setting up future conflicts, such as the undefined 'war' mentioned by Lynne. It fits into the script's arc of Cheney's rise to power, but it could do more to explore the consequences of his decisions in real-time, rather than relying on the narrator to fill in gaps. The tone is appropriately tense and ominous, but it occasionally borders on melodramatic, especially with lines like Cheney's vague response to Lynne, which might come off as overly simplistic in a story that's meant to be satirical and critical. This scene has the potential to be a powerful pivot point, but its brevity and reliance on familiar historical events might make it feel redundant if not balanced with fresh insights or character development.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the dialogue to make it more nuanced and less expository; for example, have Condi Rice's question about UNODIR arise more organically from her character's background or concerns, adding subtext that reveals her unease without direct explanation, to improve realism and engagement.
  • Integrate the narrator's voice-over more seamlessly by tying it to visual cues, such as a close-up of Cheney's face during the hushed conversation with Addington, to show rather than tell, reducing the risk of it feeling intrusive and allowing the audience to infer speculation through action.
  • Add a brief moment of internal conflict or reaction from supporting characters, like showing Karen Hughes' hesitation before relaying Cheney's order to keep Congressional members contained, to build tension and humanize the ensemble, making the scene more dynamic and less focused on Cheney alone.
  • Strengthen the emotional depth by expanding Lynne's interaction; for instance, have her question elicit a subtle reaction from Cheney that hints at his awareness of the war's ambiguity, using this to foreshadow future plot points and add layers to his character without lengthening the scene significantly.
  • Refine the pacing by smoothing transitions between elements, such as using cross-cutting or sound design to connect the bunker chaos with the stock footage more fluidly, ensuring the scene feels cohesive and climactic rather than a series of quick cuts, which could heighten the dramatic impact.



Scene 25 -  Aftermath of Chaos
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. UNDERGROUND BUNKER - WHITE HOUSE - THAT NIGHT

W Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, RICHARD CLARKE 53,
Scooter Libby, Condi and George Tenet all convene.

GEORGE TENET
We’ve picked up chatter from well-
known Al Qaeda operatives
celebrating today’s attack.

RUMSFELD
We shouldn’t rule out Iraq.

CONDI RICE
What’s Al Qaeda’s Leader’s name?

GEORGE TENET
His name is Osama Bin Laden

RICHARD CLARKE
But this is clearly Al Qaeda. I’ve
been tracking their movements for
years. They’re fingerprints are all
over this.

RUMSFELD
Iraq has all the good targets.

RICHARD CLARKE
Iraq has NOTHING to do with this.

RUMSFELD
Richard you don’t know that for
sure--

RICHARD CLARKE
I do know that.

COLIN POWELL
Mr. President, if I may,
Afghanistan is Al Qaeda’s
headquarters. This is where our
focus should be.

L/3 “Colin Powell: Secretary of State”
71.


GEORGE TENET
And the CIA would be capable of
taking down the Taliban’s power
structure.

RUMSFELD
With all do respect, George. Mr.
President. We are the Pentagon.
This is what we do.

CHENEY
Don...

Bush looks around the room. Uncertain for a beat.

W BUSH
Okay... We’ll go with Tenet and the
CIA for now.

Tenet gives Rumsfeld a glance. Don is not happy.

COLIN POWELL
I’ll make calls to our allies.

Everyone gets up to leave.

DICK
I think given the current situation
Mr. President, it’s wise that you
and I not be in the same location.
For, uh, COG...Continuity of
Government.

W BUSH
(he looks freaked)
Of course, of course... Hey... Are
we going to be alright?

DICK
Yes sir. We are.


EXT. WHITE HOUSE ROOF - HOURS LATER

A LARGE HELICOPTER TAKES OFF. Two SECRET SERVICE AGENTS
holding machine guns stand and watch.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT
(into his mic)
Angler has taken off to an
undisclosed location. I repeat,
Angler is airborn.
72.


SECRET SERVICE AGENT #2
Angler? That’s the VP? I thought
only the President could land and
take off from the south lawn?

SECRET SERVICE AGENT
What can I tell you? Today’s
fucked.


INT. UNDERGROUND TUNNEL - UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - THAT NIGHT

Dick, Lynne, A MARINE GUARD and a DOCTOR are in a small craft
GOING DOWN AND DOWN INTO THE DARKNESS...


INT. CABINET ROOM - WHITE HOUSE - DAY

Intel Officers, NSC members surround a table. CHENEY IS ON A
SCREEN OR SVTS (sivits), TELECONFERENCING IN FROM AN
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION.

DICK
This intelligence has been edited,
redacted and reduced.

INTELLIGENCE OFFICER
Mr. Vice President, usually we vet
the daily intelligence threat
matrix to eliminate unreliable
sources, non-players-

DICK (SOT)
Stop. Don’t you dare give me a damn
disquisition on what I cannot hear.

INTELLIGENCE OFFICER
Mr. President a lot of this
information is not verified.

DICK
This is the last time I’ll say it.
I want to hear everything. Every
day. From now on.

SLOW PUSH IN ON CHENEY’S FACE AS HE HEARS THE RAW INTEL BEING
READ BY THE GROUP. The collage of intel becomes denser and
denser, mixed with static ridden Arabic and other languages.

SCORE: A SINGLE LONG DARK NOTE
73.


VOICES
We’re tracking the possibility of
Bio-attacks using serin gas, cow
pox, ebola... There was a post on a
dark web site about mass be-
headings in residential
neighborhoods.... Plans were found
outlining the use of infants as
suicide bombs in major airports...
A source has told as asset about
fire bombs targeting hospitals... A
video was captured describing
televised executions interrupting
American network TV... Movie
studios, museums, subways, day care
centers may all be targets... etc.

As we get to a grainy close up of Cheney’s eyes on the screen
we see something that hasn’t been apparent before: FEAR.


INT. BOMB SHELTER - THAT NIGHT

Lynne and Dick lay in bed in a giant DARK CAVERN with spare
furniture and telecommunications equipment.

LYNNE
I’m scared Dick...

DICK
I’ll always keep you safe.

LYNNE
What are you going to do?

In the darkness Cheney is just a black silhouette.

FLASH TO: A stream. Cheney stands in it fishing. BY A ROCK,
UNDER THE WATER IS THE SHADOW OF A HORRIBLE CREATURE.
Genres: ["Political Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In the wake of the September 11 attacks, President Bush and his top advisors convene in a White House bunker to strategize a response. Tensions rise as Rumsfeld pushes for military action against Iraq, while Clarke and Powell advocate for targeting Al Qaeda in Afghanistan. Bush ultimately decides to follow the CIA's advice, focusing on Afghanistan, despite Rumsfeld's objections. As the day unfolds, Cheney expresses his fears and demands unfiltered intelligence, revealing the psychological strain on the leaders. The scene shifts to a bomb shelter where Cheney reassures his wife Lynne of her safety, culminating in a symbolic flashback of him fishing, hinting at lurking dangers.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Strategic decision-making
  • Character dynamics
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity on certain character motivations
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and high-stakes atmosphere of the immediate post-9/11 response, using the bunker setting and rapid decision-making to mirror historical events and build tension. This helps the audience understand the internal dynamics of the Bush administration, particularly Cheney's emerging role as a stabilizing force, which aligns with the script's theme of his quiet accumulation of power.
  • However, the scene feels overcrowded with characters and subplots, introducing figures like Richard Clarke, Colin Powell, and George Tenet in quick succession without sufficient development. This can dilute focus and make it hard for viewers to connect emotionally or intellectually with the key players, especially since some, like Bush, come across as reactive rather than proactive, reducing the scene's dramatic impact.
  • Cheney's character arc is advanced well through the reveal of his fear, providing a rare glimpse of vulnerability that contrasts with his usual stoicism. This moment humanizes him and ties into the broader narrative of his motivations, but it risks feeling abrupt or unearned if not foreshadowed adequately in prior scenes, potentially alienating viewers who expect more gradual character evolution.
  • Dialogue in the meeting sections is functional for exposition but often lacks subtlety, with lines like 'COG... Continuity of Government' feeling overly explanatory and didactic. This can break immersion, as real-life high-pressure discussions might use shorthand or implication rather than direct definitions, making the exchanges seem scripted rather than organic and reducing authenticity.
  • The visual and auditory elements, such as the collage of raw intelligence and the dark, cavernous bomb shelter, are strong in evoking paranoia and fear, enhancing the scene's thematic depth. However, the fishing flashback at the end is symbolically rich but poorly integrated, as its abruptness and lack of clear connection to the immediate action might confuse audiences or feel tacked on, undermining the scene's emotional payoff.
  • Pacing issues arise from the quick cuts between locations (e.g., bunker to roof to tunnel to cabinet room), which, while energetic, can feel disjointed and rushed. This might overwhelm viewers and detract from the scene's ability to linger on critical moments, such as Cheney's reassurance to Bush or his demand for unredacted intel, which are pivotal for understanding his mindset but get lost in the flurry of activity.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the script's exploration of executive power and fear-driven decision-making, but it occasionally veers into caricature, particularly with Rumsfeld's push for Iraq, which might come across as overly antagonistic. This could reinforce a biased portrayal if not balanced with nuanced motivations, potentially limiting the scene's appeal to audiences seeking a more even-handed historical drama.
  • The parallel with Lynne Cheney's fear in the bomb shelter adds a personal dimension, contrasting the political machinations with domestic anxiety, which is a strength in humanizing the Cheneys. However, this subplot feels underdeveloped and tacked on, as it doesn't fully resolve or connect back to the main action, making it seem like an afterthought rather than an integral part of the narrative flow.
Suggestions
  • Streamline the character roster in the initial meeting by focusing on 3-4 key figures (e.g., Cheney, Bush, Rumsfeld, and Clarke) to allow for deeper interactions and clearer conflicts, reducing clutter and giving each character more room to shine.
  • Refine dialogue to be more naturalistic; for instance, instead of explicitly defining 'COG,' have characters reference it in context through shared history or subtle cues, making conversations feel more authentic and engaging.
  • Enhance the integration of the fishing flashback by using it as a recurring motif earlier in the script or adding a voice-over or visual transition that explicitly links it to Cheney's current fears, ensuring it serves as a powerful symbol rather than a confusing insert.
  • Improve pacing by grouping similar actions together—e.g., consolidate the evacuation and separation elements before moving to the intelligence demands—to create a more logical flow and allow key emotional beats, like Cheney's fear, to resonate longer with the audience.
  • Add subtle visual and auditory cues to build tension, such as shaky camera work during the intelligence reading or ambient sounds of distant sirens, to convey fear and urgency without over-relying on narration, making the scene more cinematic and immersive.
  • Develop Cheney's vulnerability arc more gradually by hinting at his fear in previous scenes through small actions or dialogue, ensuring this reveal feels earned and impactful within the context of his character journey.
  • Balance the portrayal of conflicting viewpoints (e.g., Rumsfeld vs. Clarke) by adding layers to their arguments, such as personal stakes or ideological underpinnings, to avoid caricature and provide a more nuanced critique of historical events.
  • Strengthen the Lynne Cheney subplot by extending it slightly or connecting it thematically to the main action, perhaps by having her question mirror Bush's uncertainty, to create a cohesive emotional through-line that ties personal and political elements together.



Scene 26 -  Legal Justifications for Torture
  • Overall: 9.2
  • Concept: 10
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
EXT. MOUNTAINS OF AFGHANISTAN - DAY

VFX: CHEST POUNDING EXPLOSIONS dot a mountainside in
Afghanistan as US FIGHTER JETS screech across the sky.


EXT. OLD STONE BUILDING - DAY - 2001

5 US SOLDIERS lead a row of 12 TALIBAN PRISONERS towards an
old stone wall. The Taliban fighters are dirty and dusty and
look spent. One of the US SOLDIERS IS OUR NARRATOR TALKING TO
CAMERA. HE HAS ENLISTED.
74.


NARRATOR
So while Powell, the CIA and their
international coalition toppled the
Taliban and took Afghanistan in a
matter of days... Cheney had found
something much more powerful than
missiles or jet planes.


INT. OFFICE OF LEGAL COUNSEL - CONFERENCE ROOM - A WEEK LATER

Sign: “The Office of Legal Counsel.” David Addington sits
across from two OLC LAWYERS. Cheney TELECONFERENCES in.

DAVID ADDINGTON
Mr. Vice President, this is John
Yoo.

JOHN YOO, 34, an Asian American lawyer with a deliberate
professional manner sits across from them. JAY BYBEE, 48, the
Assistant Attorney General for the OLC is next to Yoo.

JOHN YOO
It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr.
Vice President.

DICK (SOT)
Mmm huh.

DAVID ADDINGTON
The Vice President believes that it
is the duty as Commander in Chief
to protect that Nation. And that no
other obligation whether it be
Congress or existing treaties
supersedes that duty... How do you
feel about that statement?

Beat.

JOHN YOO
I couldn’t agree more.

MUSIC: GLORIOUS AND INTRICATE


INT. JOHN YOO’S OFFICE - DAY

John Yoo is at the computer. David Addington paces.
Occasionally Bybee walks in with case files.
75.


NARRATOR (V.O.)
John Yoo’s first legal opinion
allowed the US government to
monitor every citizen’s phone
calls, texts and emails without a
warrant. It was a giant legal leap
based on sketchy law at best.

QUICK CUT: Soldiers punch prisoners.

NARRATOR
But their masterpiece, their Moby
Dick if you will, was the torture
memo.

QUICK CUT: Prisoners are pushed into boxes.


INT. WHITE HOUSE - OVAL OFFICE

Cheney, Addington, W Bush, Tenet and Rumsfeld.

GEORGE TENET
But what about the Geneva
Convention?

DICK
We believe the Geneva Convention is
open to... interpretation.

GEORGE TENET
What exactly does that mean?

ADDINGTON
Stress positions, water boarding,
confined spaces, dogs.

RUMSFELD
We’re calling it enhanced
interrogation.

W BUSH
We’re sure none of this fits under
the definition of torture?

ADDINGTON
The U.S. doesn’t torture.

CHENEY
Therefore, if the U.S. does it, by
definition, it can’t be torture.

QUICK CUTS SHOWING:
76.


1. A MIDDLE EASTERN MAN naked and being water boarded. He
howls and cries.

TRANSLATOR
(in Arabic)
Just tell us what targets are next!
What targets are next?!

2. The CLERIC from the beginning having his genitals shocked
with wires. He screams as much as a person can scream.

CIA AGENT
All of this ends the second you
tell us the truth!!

4. A MAN WITH HIS WIFE AND KIDS IN FRONT OF HIM. A CIA AGENT
SCREAMS AT HIM.

CIA AGENT (CONT’D)
We will rape and kill your wife and
children! Do you fucking hear me!!?

TRANSLATOR#2
(Translates in Arabic)

A TRANSLATOR yells the translation. The Man, his family SOB.

NARRATOR
But torture and privacy laws
weren’t the only laws Cheney
rewrote with John Yoo. They had a
full menu of opinions challenging
Constitutional and International
law,
Genres: ["War","Political","Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In Scene 26, the chaotic backdrop of wartime Afghanistan sets the stage as US soldiers escort Taliban prisoners. The Narrator reflects on the swift military victory and the subsequent legal maneuvering led by Vice President Cheney and lawyer John Yoo. In a series of meetings, they redefine torture and privacy laws, enabling warrantless surveillance and 'enhanced interrogation' techniques. The scene starkly contrasts the legal discussions with graphic depictions of torture, illustrating the moral and ethical conflicts surrounding these actions. The Narrator concludes by highlighting the extensive legal changes that challenge Constitutional and international laws.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Controversial subject matter
  • Complex ethical dilemmas
  • Effective portrayal of legal discussions
Weaknesses
  • Potentially disturbing content
  • Ethical ambiguity
  • Lack of character resolution
Critique
  • The scene effectively escalates the theme of Cheney's consolidation of power by shifting from military action in Afghanistan to the bureaucratic and legal machinations in Washington, illustrating how Cheney leverages legal opinions to expand executive authority beyond traditional checks and balances. This builds on the 9/11 context from previous scenes, creating a seamless narrative flow that underscores the script's satirical critique of unchecked power, but it risks feeling overly didactic in its portrayal of historical events, potentially reducing audience engagement by prioritizing exposition over dramatic tension.
  • The use of the narrator as a character who is both part of the story (as a soldier) and an omniscient voice-over adds a meta-layer that personalizes the critique, connecting to his earlier appearances and reinforcing the script's blend of personal and political storytelling. However, this dual role can sometimes confuse the narrative perspective, as the shift between his on-screen presence and voice-over commentary might dilute the immediacy of the action, making it harder for viewers to immerse themselves in the moment rather than being told what to think.
  • Visually, the quick cuts to graphic torture scenes are impactful in conveying the horror and moral implications of Cheney's policies, aligning with the script's tone of dark satire. Yet, these sequences may overwhelm the audience with shock value, potentially desensitizing viewers or shifting focus from the intellectual critique of legal justifications to visceral disgust, which could undermine the scene's intent to educate and provoke thought about the consequences of redefining torture.
  • Dialogue in the scene, particularly in the Oval Office, succinctly captures the arrogance and rationalization of characters like Cheney and Addington, with lines such as 'The U.S. doesn’t torture. Therefore, if the U.S. does it, by definition, it can’t be torture' effectively highlighting the circular logic of their arguments. However, this expository style can feel heavy-handed, lacking subtlety and character depth, as it prioritizes delivering historical facts over nuanced interactions, which might make the characters come across as caricatures rather than complex figures.
  • The scene's structure, with its rapid transitions between settings and time periods, mirrors the chaotic expansion of power post-9/11, maintaining the script's fast-paced montage style. This works well to convey the breadth of Cheney's influence, but it can lead to a disjointed feel, especially in a screenplay that already employs frequent cuts, potentially fatiguing the audience or obscuring key emotional beats, such as Cheney's personal motivations, which are hinted at but not fully explored here.
Suggestions
  • To improve transitions, incorporate bridging elements like fade-ins or voice-over cues that explicitly link the Afghanistan footage to the legal discussions, such as having the narrator provide a smoother narrative thread that connects the military 'success' to the domestic power grab, reducing confusion and enhancing flow.
  • Balance the graphic torture montages by intercutting them with more reflective moments, such as close-ups on characters' reactions or subtle symbolism (e.g., extending the fishing flashback to parallel Cheney's moral compromises), to maintain satirical depth without relying solely on shock, allowing the audience to engage intellectually rather than emotionally recoiling.
  • Refine the dialogue to be less expository by showing character conflicts through subtext or indirect actions; for instance, have Cheney and Yoo debate hypotheticals in a more conversational tone, revealing their ideologies through personal anecdotes or tensions, which could add layers to their motivations and make the scene more dynamic and less lecture-like.
  • Enhance the narrator's integration by giving him more on-screen agency in this scene, such as reacting to the prisoners or sharing a brief personal reflection that ties back to his family life, strengthening the connection to his character arc and making his voice-over feel more organic to the story rather than an external commentary.
  • Adjust pacing by extending key moments, like the Oval Office discussion, to allow for pauses or visual beats that build tension, ensuring the scene doesn't rush through important thematic elements; this could involve adding a short beat where Bush shows hesitation, providing contrast to Cheney's assertiveness and giving the audience time to absorb the implications of the legal redefinitions.



Scene 27 -  The Menu of War: A Satirical Feast
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. HIGH PRICED GOURMET RESTAURANT - NIGHT

A fancy WAITER, 54, lists the specials to Cheney, Rumsfeld,
Wolfowitz and Addington at a lavish table.

WAITER
(formal and dispassionate)
Tonight we are offering the enemy
combatant: whereby someone is not a
criminal or a prisoner of war.
Which gives them no protection
under the law. We are also have
Extreme Rendition where suspects
are abducted without record, on
foreign soil and taken to foreign
prisons in countries that torture.
(MORE)
77.

WAITER (CONT'D)
We have Guantanamo Bay which is
very, very complicated but allows
you to operate outside the purview
of due process on land that isn’t
technically US soil, but is under
our control.

DONALD RUMSFELD
That sounds delicious!

WAITER
And there is a very fresh and
delicious War Powers Act
interpretation, which gives the
executive branch broad power to
attack any country or person that
might possibly be a threat. Finally
for desert we have the fact that
under the unitary executive theory
if the President does anything it
makes it legal. In other words you
can do whatever the fuck you want.
So which would you like gentlemen?

DICK
We’ll have them all.

WAITER
Excellent choice.

They hand the Waiter their menus.

PAUL WOLFOWITZ
Look Dick, we’ve been using focus
groups and advertising executives
to help us sell this war on terror.


INT. FOCUS GROUP ROOM - DAY

FOCUS GROUP LEADER, 34, an upbeat woman talks to a DOZEN
AMERICAN MEN AND WOMEN OF MIXED AGES.

FOCUS GROUP LEADER
I do want to reiterate, we are
still being recorded and there
still may or may not be clients
behind the door.


INT. HIGH PRICED GOURMET RESTAURANT - NIGHT

PAUL WOLFOWITZ
These guys are pretty sharp.
78.


RUMSFELD
There’s a problem. The results show
that people are confused.


INT. FOCUS GROUP ROOM - DAY

FOCUS GROUP LEADER
So you’re saying you support the
President and you hate terrorism,
but you’re confused. Can you tell
me why?

A 60 YEAR OLD MAN in a football jersey answers.

60 YEAR OLD GUY
Don’t we just have to get Osama bin
Laden? He did it. So why are they
calling it a war? A war with who?

19 YR OLD GIRL in a half tee raises her hand.

FOCUS GROUP LEADER
Thank you Mark. Yes Jasmine?

19 YR OLD GIRL
I don’t get what this Al Qaeda is.
Are they a country? Why can’t we
just bomb them?

FOCUS GROUP LEADER
Interesting. Who else isn’t
entirely sure what Al Queda is?

Most hands go up.

ON SCREEN: These focus groups happened in February 2002. They
were overseen by the Pentagon and headed by PR and Marketing
execs.

FOCUS GROUP LEADER (CONT’D)
Would it be less confusing if it
was a country?

60 YEAR OLD GUY
Damn right. I’m angry as hell. We
gotta fuck someone up.

FOCUS GROUP LEADER
Really strong feelings from Mark,
I’m interested. Who agrees with
this statement?
79.


Most hands go up.

CUT TO:


INT. GOURMET RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS

PAUL WOLFOWITZ
They know we’re at war but they
don’t understand against who.

RUMSFELD
They want a country. It’s simpler.
Cleaner.

ADDINGTON
That would certainly help us
legally.

Beat.

DICK
Looks like it’s time to take Iraq.

They all smile and laugh.

SCORE: GIANT ORCHESTRAL PIECE


166 INT. OVAL OFFICE - LATER 166

Cheney talks with W Bush.

DICK
It’s called the Office of Special
Plans. Tenet is not yet serious
enough about the threat Saddam
poses in the GWOt, or global war on
terror. But I can promise you this
intelligence group will be.

W BUSH
I’ve been wanting to take that
motherfucker Saddam down for a long
time.


167 INT. PENTAGON - THE OFFICE OF SPECIAL PLANS - DAY 167

A half dozen of Cheney’s people work at desks, reading and
writing at the OFFICE OF SPECIAL PLANS: WILLIAM LUTI, DOUGLAS
FEITH, ABRAM SHULSKY, and Paul Wolfowitz barking out orders.
80.


DOUGLAS FEITH
I’ve got something! Here’s a report
that Mohamed Atta one of the
hijackers may have met with an
Iraqi spy in Prague.
Genres: ["Political Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, a high-priced gourmet restaurant serves as the backdrop for a satirical discussion among Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, and David Addington, who order legal concepts related to bypassing international law as if they were menu specials. The narrative shifts to a focus group in February 2002, where participants express confusion about the war on terror, prompting the group to decide that targeting Iraq would simplify their messaging. The scene then moves to the Oval Office, where Cheney informs President Bush about the establishment of the Office of Special Plans to focus on Saddam Hussein, and concludes in the Pentagon, where a report linking Iraq to the 9/11 attacks is discovered. The tone is darkly humorous, critiquing the manipulation of public opinion and legal interpretations to justify the Iraq war.
Strengths
  • Intriguing concept
  • Complex characters
  • Tense atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Potential for audience confusion due to complex legal and political discussions
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses satire to distill complex legal and political concepts into a digestible, humorous format through the restaurant menu metaphor, which helps viewers understand the manipulation of laws in a way that's engaging and memorable. However, this approach risks oversimplifying historical events, potentially undermining the film's claim of being 'based on a true story' by presenting serious topics like the circumvention of international law in a cartoonish manner, which could alienate audiences seeking a more nuanced critique.
  • The dialogue, particularly the Waiter's exposition, feels overly didactic and unnatural, as if it's directly lecturing the audience rather than emerging organically from the characters. This can break immersion, making the scene feel more like a history lesson than a dramatic narrative, and it doesn't fully capitalize on the potential for character-driven conflict or wit in a satirical context.
  • Character interactions lack depth, with figures like Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, and Addington coming across as one-dimensional caricatures who simply agree with each other. This might serve the satirical intent, but it misses an opportunity to explore internal motivations or tensions, such as Cheney's personal ambition or doubts, which could make the scene more compelling and tie it better to his character arc from previous scenes.
  • The rapid cuts between the restaurant, focus group, Oval Office, and Pentagon disrupt the flow and can confuse viewers, especially since the transitions aren't always clearly motivated. While the focus group segment adds a layer of public perception, it feels somewhat disconnected from the main action, and the on-screen text providing historical context might be redundant or patronizing, as it tells rather than shows information that could be integrated more seamlessly into the visuals or dialogue.
  • The tone maintains the film's overall satirical edge but veers into farce with elements like the Waiter's formal delivery and the group's casual decision to 'take Iraq,' which might trivialize the gravity of the Iraq War's consequences. This could weaken the emotional impact, particularly when contrasted with the intense, fear-driven scenes from the previous sequences (e.g., 9/11 responses), making the shift feel abrupt and less cohesive within the broader narrative.
  • Visually, the scene relies heavily on static dialogue exchanges and quick cuts, which, while energetic, don't fully utilize cinematic techniques to enhance storytelling. For instance, the focus group could benefit from more dynamic camerawork to emphasize public confusion, but as it stands, it feels staged and less immersive, potentially reducing the scene's ability to build tension or empathy.
Suggestions
  • Refine the satirical metaphor by making it more subtle and integrated, such as having the Waiter interact with the characters in a way that reveals their personalities or conflicts, rather than serving as a mouthpiece for exposition, to maintain humor without overwhelming the audience.
  • Naturalize the dialogue by incorporating more conversational banter or personal anecdotes that ground the legal discussions in character relationships, drawing from Cheney's history (e.g., his fishing metaphors from earlier scenes) to add depth and make the exchanges feel less like a lecture.
  • Add layers to character portrayals by including brief moments of hesitation or moral ambiguity, such as Cheney pausing before agreeing to 'take Iraq,' to humanize the figures and create internal conflict, which would strengthen the scene's emotional resonance and better connect it to the film's themes of power and consequence.
  • Improve transitions between locations by using visual motifs or sound bridges (e.g., linking the focus group's confusion to the restaurant discussion through overlapping audio or symbolic imagery), and consider reducing reliance on on-screen text by weaving historical details into the action or narration more organically.
  • Balance the humorous tone with moments of gravity by intercutting the restaurant scene with subtle reminders of real-world stakes, such as quick flashes to affected civilians or references to the 9/11 aftermath from prior scenes, to ensure the satire complements rather than diminishes the film's serious undertones.
  • Enhance visual storytelling by employing more dynamic cinematography, like handheld camera work in the focus group to convey chaos, or symbolic visuals in the restaurant (e.g., shadows or lighting changes) to underscore the characters' machinations, making the scene more engaging and less dialogue-heavy.



Scene 28 -  The Consensus for War
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. FOCUS GROUP ROOM - DAY

WOMAN
Wait, we can’t just bomb people.

GUY IN HIS SIXTIES
Give me a break!


INT. PENTAGON - THE OFFICE OF SPECIAL PLANS - DAY

DOUGLAS FEITH
It’s from Czech intelligence and
they question its credibility...

PAUL WOLFOWITZ
I’ve been to Prague. They question
everything.
(to the room)
Who wants to be an “unnamed
source?”

DOUGLAS FEITH
Make sure to get in the phrase “we
don’t want the smoking gun to be a
mushroom cloud.” It focus grouped
through the roof!


INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY - SEPT 8 2002

Condi Rice is being interviewed by Wolf Blitzer.

CONDI RICE
The problem with Saddam is that
there will always be uncertainty
about when he will acquire nuclear
weapons. But we don’t want the
smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.

CUT TO: SNIPPETS OF CSPAN, CNN, ABC, CBS. Various Politicians
across party lines supporting the war on Iraq.

JEFF SESSIONS (SOT)
(on TV)
..whether it’s a smoking gun or a
mushroom cloud.
81.


CHENEY
(on TV)
There is no question that Saddam
Hussien has Weapons of Mass
distruction.

BILL O’REILLY (SOT)
(on TV)
We gotta get rid of this dictator.
He’s got anthrax. He’s got all
these weapons.

REP. MIKE PENCE
(on TV)
And not if, but when, Saddam uses
weapons of mass destruction, what
will we tell the American People.

SEN. HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON (SOT)
(on TV)
Saddam Hussien will increase his
capacity to wage biological and
chemical warfare.

PM TONY BLAIR (SOT)
(on TV)
..we will stand up for what we know
to be right. To show that we will
confront the tyrannies and
dictatorships and terrorists who
put our way of life at risk.

TV CLIP FROM SURVIVOR

JEFF PROBST (SOT)
The tribe has spoken.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Satire"]

Summary In a focus group, a woman's strong opposition to bombing is dismissed by an older man, highlighting the conflict between moral objections and prevailing war sentiments. The scene shifts to the Pentagon, where Douglas Feith and Paul Wolfowitz discuss dubious intelligence linking Iraq to 9/11, promoting fear-based rhetoric to garner support for military action. Condi Rice echoes this sentiment in a TV interview, using the phrase 'mushroom cloud' to emphasize the threat posed by Saddam Hussein. A montage of bipartisan political endorsements for war follows, culminating in a symbolic clip from Survivor, reinforcing the idea of a collective decision for intervention.
Strengths
  • Effective satire and critique of decision-making processes
  • Engaging portrayal of manipulation in politics
  • Clear progression and structure in the scene
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Reliance on exposition in TV clips
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses a montage style to illustrate the rapid spread of misinformation and the building consensus for the Iraq war, which aligns well with the film's overarching theme of manipulation and power. However, the quick cuts and reliance on stock footage and real TV clips may make the scene feel more like a documentary segment than a cinematic narrative, potentially distancing viewers emotionally and reducing dramatic tension. This approach, while informative, could benefit from more original visual elements to maintain engagement and immerse the audience in the story rather than presenting historical facts didactically.
  • Dialogue in the scene is largely expository and on-the-nose, such as Feith's line about using the 'mushroom cloud' phrase because it focus-grouped well, which serves to convey information but lacks subtlety or character depth. This can make the characters feel like mouthpieces for the film's critique rather than fully realized individuals, which might undermine the satirical intent by making the portrayal too obvious and less impactful. In a screenplay focused on character-driven satire, adding layers of subtext or personal motivation could make the dialogue more engaging and believable.
  • The transition from the focus group room to the Pentagon and then to the interview and montage sequences is abrupt and could confuse viewers if not handled with clear visual or auditory cues. While the scene's chaotic energy mirrors the confusion and manipulation it depicts, it risks feeling disjointed, especially since it starts with a interpersonal conflict (the woman and man arguing) that isn't resolved or connected deeply to the larger narrative. This lack of cohesion might weaken the scene's ability to build emotional investment or thematic resonance.
  • The use of the Survivor clip at the end as a metaphorical punctuation is clever in its irony, commenting on the finality of public opinion being swayed, but it feels somewhat tacked on and disconnected from the rest of the scene. This could dilute the scene's serious tone and make the satire come across as gimmicky rather than insightful, potentially alienating viewers who expect a more consistent narrative style. Integrating this metaphor more organically or choosing a different visual analogy might better serve the film's critical edge.
  • Overall, the scene successfully advances the plot by showing how intelligence was distorted to justify war, fitting into the sequence of events from previous scenes (like Scene 27's focus on public opinion manipulation). However, it could explore the human cost or moral implications more deeply, perhaps by including reactions from ordinary people affected by the rhetoric, to heighten the emotional stakes and make the critique more poignant. As it stands, the scene prioritizes information over drama, which might make it feel more like a history lesson than a compelling story element in a feature film.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more original screenplay elements, such as invented dialogue or scenes, to reduce reliance on stock footage and make the montage feel more dynamic and cinematic, perhaps by showing characters reacting in real-time to the TV clips.
  • Refine the dialogue to include subtext or personal stakes; for example, have Feith or Wolfowitz express doubt or internal conflict briefly to add nuance, making their actions feel more human and the satire sharper.
  • Improve scene transitions with visual motifs or sound bridges (e.g., linking the focus group discussion to the Pentagon via a recurring phrase or image) to create smoother flow and maintain narrative momentum.
  • Reevaluate the ending metaphor; consider replacing the Survivor clip with a more integrated element, like a cut to a family watching the news in fear, to tie the satire back to the human impact and strengthen emotional resonance.
  • Add a moment of character reflection or a brief subplot tie-in, such as referencing Cheney's personal fears from previous scenes, to better connect this scene to the larger character arc and enhance thematic depth without extending the scene's length significantly.



Scene 29 -  Tensions in the Oval Office: The Push for War
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. OVAL OFFICE - WHITE HOUSE

The President, Rove, Condi, George Tenet, Hughes, Powell,
Cheney and Rumsfeld are all talking about the war.

KAREN HUGHES
Polling for an invasion of Iraq is
at 53%. Focus groups show people
still aren’t sure about a
connection between Saddam and Al
Qaeda.
82.


POWELL
France and Germany have said they
won’t join the coalition. Neither
will Israel.

Cheney is quiet.

W BUSH
We went to the wall together. We
prayed together. Israel is one of
our closest allies.

RICE
They said an invasion of Iraq would
destabilize the region, Sir. And
they don’t view Saddam as an
immediate threat.

W BUSH
That’s not good. I really want a
strong coalition for this.

KARL ROVE
I have an idea. Secretary Powell
has the highest trustworthy ratings
of any of us. What if he gave an
address to the U.N. and the
American people to push this over
the finish line?

COLIN POWELL
Karl, I’ve been very vocal, very
vocal, about my reservations about
invading Iraq.

RUMSFELD
Oh Colin, you’re such a nervous
Nellie.

COLIN POWELL
We’re talking about invading a
sovereign nation without
provocation Don!

RUMSFELD
Oh, sovereign nation...

COLIN POWELL RUMSFELD (CONT'D)
What about the intelligence. Oh come on! You know you’re
Has anybody thought about the wrong, you’re just a chicken
intelligence? You break it, shit.
you bought it. You break it,
you bought it!
83.


GEORGE W
Hey, hey, hey, alright. Let’s slow
down. That’s enough of that guys.

Dick is next to W across the room. He speaks to him quietly.

DICK
Are you going to take Saddam down
or not. You’re the President. War
is yours. Not the U.N. Or some
coalition. Do not share powers that
are yours alone.

After a quarter beat W turns back to the group.

GEORGE W
George, make sure Powell sees the
intelligence. Colin I want you to
make that speech. I’m the President
and I want this to happen!

COLIN POWELL
Yes, sir. I look forward to being
briefed on that intelligence.

GEORGE TENET
On another note, I’ve been handed a
credible report that there’s a
small terrorist enclave in
Northeastern Iraq. If we’re going
to invade we recommend taking it
out before.

RUMSFELD
Let it go, George, we have bigger
fish to fry.

Dick pulls Tenet aside.

DICK
Excuse me George. May I see that
intelligence?

GEORGE TENET
Of course.

FREEZE: as the report is handed to Cheney.
84.


NARRATOR (V.O.)
That classified document described
a terrorist named Abu Musab Al-
Zarqawi who had started as a drug
dealer and pimp before becoming
fully radicalized in a Jordanian
prison.


EXT. AFGHANISTAN - AL QAEDA BASE - DAY

Zarqawi walks toward OSAMA BIN LADEN. They sit and talk.

NARRATOR
Zarqawi went to meet Bin Laden in
Afghanistan. But Zarqawi had vowed
to kill all Shia Muslims and Bin
Laden's mother was Shia, so the
meeting didn’t go well


INT. CIA CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

Cheney and Scooter Libby talk to a female CIA ANALYST, 28.

DICK
Did he or did he not meet with Al
Qaeda?

FEMALE CIA ANALYST
They had no operational contact.

DICK
Hogwash.


INT. WHITE HOUSE WEST WING HALLWAY - DAY

Powell storms down the hallway holding some papers. He stops
COLONEL WILKERSON, 57, Powell’s Chief of Staff at State.

COLIN POWELL
Larry have you read this speech?!

LAWRENCE WILKERSON
Yes. It’s beyond thin. I saw five
pieces of disproved intel in there.

COLIN POWELL
Who wrote it?
85.


LAWRENCE WILKERSON
They claimed it was from the
President but I think you can guess
who really wrote it.


INT. SCOOTER LIBBY’S OFFICE - DAY

Scooter on the phone.

SCOOTER LIBBY
There’s no need to yell Larry. Yes,
we reviewed the speech and gave
some notes...

David Addington enters and silently listens.

DAVID ADDINGTON
Powell really doesn’t have a clue
does he?
Genres: ["Political Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In the Oval Office, President George W. Bush and his advisors debate the potential invasion of Iraq. Karen Hughes presents polling data showing support for the invasion, while Colin Powell expresses strong reservations about acting without provocation. Tensions rise as Donald Rumsfeld mocks Powell, and Dick Cheney advises Bush to act unilaterally. Bush orders Powell to prepare a speech despite his concerns. The scene shifts to intelligence discussions about Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi, revealing conflicting views on the threat posed by Iraq. The atmosphere is charged with conflict and power dynamics as the administration grapples with the decision to go to war.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Power dynamics
  • Plot advancement
Weaknesses
  • Lack of character development in this specific scene
Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the high-stakes tension of a pivotal historical moment, showcasing the internal conflicts within the Bush administration regarding the Iraq invasion. However, the dialogue often feels overly expository and didactic, with characters like Powell and Rumsfeld delivering lines that directly state their positions (e.g., Powell's 'We’re talking about invading a sovereign nation without provocation') rather than revealing character through subtext or nuanced interaction. This can make the scene feel more like a history lesson than a dramatic narrative, potentially alienating viewers who are familiar with the events and reducing emotional engagement.
  • Character development is uneven; Powell's reservations are highlighted, which is thematically consistent with the script's critique of Cheney's influence, but his portrayal risks becoming one-dimensional as 'the voice of reason' without deeper exploration of his personal stakes or internal conflict. Conversely, Cheney's quiet manipulation is a strength, as his minimal dialogue and actions (e.g., pulling Tenet aside) subtly reinforce his controlling nature, but this could be amplified with more visual cues to make his influence more palpable and less reliant on the audience's prior knowledge.
  • The scene's structure, with multiple location cuts (from the Oval Office to Afghanistan, CIA room, hallway, and Libby's office), disrupts the flow and dilutes the intensity of the central debate. While these cuts provide necessary exposition (e.g., the Zarqawi backstory), they create a fragmented pace that might confuse viewers or lessen the impact of the Oval Office confrontation. The freeze frame with narrator VO is a recurring device in the script, but here it interrupts the momentum, pulling focus from the dramatic action to didactic commentary, which could be integrated more organically to maintain immersion.
  • Thematically, the scene aligns well with the overall script's examination of power dynamics and the erosion of checks and balances, particularly through Cheney's advice to Bush about not sharing powers. However, this is undercut by stereotypical banter (e.g., Rumsfeld calling Powell a 'chicken shit'), which feels cartoonish and may reinforce a biased portrayal rather than a balanced critique. Additionally, the resolution—Bush ordering Powell to make the speech—lacks buildup, making the decision seem abrupt and less impactful, potentially missing an opportunity to heighten dramatic tension.
  • Visually, the scene uses standard blocking in the Oval Office, but the cuts to external flashbacks and other rooms could be more cinematic to enhance the theme of deception and hidden agendas. For instance, the Afghanistan flashback is brief and informative but lacks emotional weight, while the hallway and Libby's office segments feel tacked on, serving more as exposition dumps than integral story beats. This could benefit from tighter editing to focus on key moments that advance character arcs or plot.
  • In terms of pacing and length, the scene condenses complex historical events into a short sequence, which is efficient but risks overwhelming the audience with rapid shifts in tone and setting. The emotional tone is tense and ominous, fitting the context, but the humor in Rumsfeld's insults clashes with the gravity of the subject matter, potentially undermining the scene's serious intent. Overall, while it successfully builds on the previous scenes' momentum toward war, it could deepen the audience's understanding by balancing historical accuracy with dramatic storytelling.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to incorporate more subtext and natural conflict; for example, have Powell express his reservations through a personal anecdote or subtle questioning rather than direct statements, making interactions feel more authentic and engaging.
  • Consolidate location changes by limiting cuts to essential ones or using smoother transitions, such as crossfades or voiceovers that bridge scenes, to maintain focus on the Oval Office as the primary setting and build sustained tension.
  • Enhance character depth by adding visual or behavioral cues; show Cheney's influence through close-ups of his reactions or body language during key exchanges, and give Powell a moment of silent reflection to humanize his dissent and make his internal struggle more relatable.
  • Integrate the narrator's voiceover more seamlessly by reducing freeze frames and incorporating narration during action, or use it sparingly to punctuate key revelations, ensuring it complements rather than interrupts the dramatic flow.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by explicitly referencing earlier scenes, such as Cheney's adoption of the Unitary Executive Theory, to reinforce character consistency and provide a clearer through-line for the audience's understanding of his motivations.
  • Adjust pacing by extending key moments, like Bush's decision-making process, to allow for more breathing room and emotional buildup, perhaps with added reaction shots or pauses, to heighten drama and make the scene's resolution more impactful.



Scene 30 -  Contrasting Realities: The Prelude to War
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. TERRORIST TENT - MIDDLE OF NOWHERE - DAY

Zarqawi and some of his followers clean their guns and talk.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
After the US invaded Afghanistan
Zarqawi set up shop in Iraq. It was
the only connection Cheney had
between Al Qaeda and Iraq, and
Cheney made sure Zarqawi’s name was
all over Powell’s speech.


INT. U.N. GENERAL ASSEMBLY - DAY

Actual VT: Joschka Fischer, German Foreign Minister,
addresses the General Assembly.

JOSCHKA FISCHER
The Security Counsel will now begin
its consideration of item 2 of the
agenda. I now call the
distinguished Secretary of State of
the United States Mr. Colin Powell.

COLIN POWELL
My purpose today is to share with
you what the United States knows
about Iraq's weapons of mass
destruction as well as Iraq's
involvement in terrorism...
86.


INT. SMALL ROOM - IRAQ - SAME TIME

Zarqawi and five other TERRORISTS watch Powell on a laptop.

POWELL
(on TV)
Iraq today harbors a deadly
terrorist network headed by Abu
Musab Zarqawi, an associate and
collaborator of Osama Bin Laden and
his Al Qaeda lieutenants.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Powell’s UN Address was seen by
millions of Americas. But other
people were watching as well.

POWELL
(on TV)
Zarqawi's activities are not
confined to this corner of
Northeast Iraq.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
The great general of America saying
his name over and over again
immediately made Zarqawi a star.

ZARQAWI
Allah Akbar!

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Within a day he had gone into
hiding.

OTHER TERRORISTS
Allah Akbar! Allah Akbar!


INT. U.N. GENERAL ASSEMBLY - CONTINUOUS

POWELL
...an Al-Qaeda source tells us that
Saddam and bin Laden reached an
understanding that Al-Qaeda would
no longer support activities
against Baghdad.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
By the time we invaded Iraq 70% of
Americans thought that Saddam
Hussein was involved in 9/11.

Powell shuffles his papers.
87.


NARRATOR (V.O.)
Later Colin Powell would call the
speech the most shameful moment of
his life.

POWELL
Thank you.

FADE TO BLACK:


INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Dick Cheney, Lynne, Liz, Philip, Mary and her girlfriend
Heather eat a LAVISH FISH DINNER with the grandkids. They
laugh and talk over each other.

MARY
It was Kelly. And the Justin

DICK
What are you talking about?

MARY
American Idol.

LIZ
You’ve watched it. You’ve seen it.

MARY LIZ (CONT'D)
We watched it at your house. I watched it sitting next to
you.

LIZ (CONT’D)
The singing and mean judge.

DICK
Oh, I like him.

Everyone is drinking and laughing

DICK (CONT’D)
How do you stop a fish from
smelling?

LIZ DICK (CONT'D)
I don’t know. You cut off his nose.

LYNNE
Ok, we aren’t going to revisit your
father’s colorful conversation.

CUT TO:
88.


EXT. BAGHDAD - MARCH 20, 2003- NIGHT

STOCK FOOTAGE: The skyline of Baghdad explodes with rockets.


INT. OVAL OFFICE - WHITE HOUSE

W Bush talks to camera addressing the nation.

W BUSH
My fellow citizens, at this hour,
American and coalition forces are
in the early stages of military
operations to disarm Iraq, to free
its people and to defend the world
from grave danger. On my orders,
coalition forces have begun
striking selected targets of
military importance to undermine
Saddam Hussein's ability to wage
war. These are opening stages of
what will be a broad and concerted
campaign. To all of the men and
women of the United States armed
forces now in the Middle East, the
peace of a troubled world and the
hopes of an oppressed people now
depend on you.

W Bush’s leg bops up and down nervously under the desk.


INT. APARTMENT IN BAGHDAD - SAME TIME

An IRAQI FAMILY cowers under a table. The Father’s leg also
bounces up and down.


EXT. BAGHDAD - SAME TIME

POV VT FEED: A CRUISE MISSILE HITS THE APARTMENT BUILDING
Genres: ["Drama","War"]

Summary In a tense scene juxtaposing various perspectives during the lead-up to the 2003 Iraq invasion, Abu Musab Zarqawi and his followers celebrate their newfound notoriety as Colin Powell links them to terrorism in a UN speech. Meanwhile, the Cheney family enjoys a light-hearted dinner, oblivious to the impending conflict. As President Bush announces military operations, the stark reality of war unfolds with footage of Baghdad under attack, culminating in a missile strike on an Iraqi apartment, highlighting the devastating consequences of political rhetoric and misinformation.
Strengths
  • Effective juxtaposition of personal and political moments
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Compelling conflict dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses juxtaposition to contrast the global political ramifications of Cheney's actions with the intimate, mundane family life, highlighting the theme of disconnection between personal and public spheres. However, this contrast feels abrupt and somewhat jarring, potentially diluting the emotional intensity built from Powell's UN speech and Zarqawi's reaction, making the audience's engagement fluctuate and undermining the scene's overall impact.
  • The narrator's voiceover is heavily expository, providing historical context and analysis that, while informative, often tells rather than shows, which can make the scene feel less cinematic and more like a documentary. This approach risks alienating viewers who prefer subtler storytelling, as it explicitly states conclusions (e.g., Powell's regret) that could be inferred or shown through visual and character-driven elements.
  • The family dinner sequence, while intended to humanize Cheney and provide a breather, comes across as tonally inconsistent with the preceding and following war-related content. The light-hearted, comedic dialogue about American Idol and a fish pun feels superficial and disconnected from the scene's serious themes, failing to deepen character insight or advance the narrative, thus appearing as a missed opportunity for thematic reinforcement.
  • Character development is limited in this scene; for instance, Zarqawi's reaction is stereotypical (shouting 'Allah Akbar'), lacking nuance that could make him a more complex antagonist. Similarly, the Cheney family's interactions are generic and lack specificity, not effectively conveying the internal conflicts or moral ambiguities that could tie into Cheney's political decisions, making the characters feel one-dimensional in this context.
  • Pacing is uneven, with rapid cuts between locations (UN, Iraq, family dinner, Oval Office) that can feel rushed and disorienting, especially in a scene that covers significant historical events. This montage style, while energetic, might overwhelm the audience, reducing the emotional weight of key moments like the missile strike, and could benefit from more deliberate transitions to allow for better absorption of the gravity of the events.
  • Visually, the use of stock footage and POV shots is powerful and immersive, effectively conveying the chaos of war, but the integration with original scripted elements is inconsistent. For example, the fade to black after Powell's speech and the cut to the family dinner disrupt visual continuity, and the reliance on voiceover narration to bridge gaps highlights a weakness in purely cinematic storytelling, potentially making the scene less engaging for viewers who expect a more dynamic visual narrative.
Suggestions
  • Improve transitions between scenes by adding bridging elements, such as a shot of Cheney watching Powell's speech on TV or a reflective moment that links the political actions to his personal life, to create a smoother flow and maintain emotional coherence.
  • Reduce the narrator's voiceover by incorporating more show-don't-tell techniques, such as using facial expressions, body language, or symbolic visuals (e.g., Cheney's reaction during the family dinner to news clips) to convey historical context and character insights, making the storytelling more immersive and engaging.
  • Enhance the family dinner scene by infusing it with subtext related to the war, such as subtle references to Cheney's role or family discussions about current events, to make it more thematically relevant and character-driven, turning it into a meaningful contrast rather than a tonal detour.
  • Develop character reactions with more depth; for Zarqawi, add layers to his response to show his strategic thinking or personal motivations, and for the Cheney family, include dialogue or actions that reveal internal conflicts, such as Mary's unease or Liz's ambition, to better connect personal stakes to the larger narrative.
  • Refine pacing by extending key moments, like Powell's speech or the missile strike, with closer shots and slower cuts to build tension and emotional impact, while shortening or tightening less essential parts, like the family dinner humor, to ensure the scene maintains momentum without feeling overcrowded.
  • Strengthen visual and audio elements by using original footage or reenactments for critical scenes to avoid over-reliance on stock footage, and incorporate sound design (e.g., overlapping audio from different locations) to heighten the sense of chaos and interconnectedness, making the scene more cinematic and less dependent on narration.



Scene 31 -  Irony of Triumph and Tragedy
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. IRAG DESERT - DAY - 2003

US SOLDIERS run alongside a tank. Bodies burning in the
street.


MONTAGE - EXT. IRAQ -DAY

A CROWD OF IRAQIS pull down the statue of Saddam and put an
American flag over his head.
89.


EXT. AIRCRAFT CARRIER - APRIL 9, 2003 - DAY

ACTUAL VT: WIDE SHOT: W BUSH lands on the aircraft carrier in
his flight suit (STOCK FOOTAGE/HEAD REPLACEMENT).


EXT. VAST WYOMING FIELD - DAY

Lynne, Dick, Liz, Philip, Mary, Heather, RIDE ACROSS A FIELD
ON HORSES IN MODERN WESTERN GARB. They stop and pose in a
line. We FREEZE. It is magnificent.


EXT. TAILGATE - DAY

PUMPED UP AMERICANS with USA caps and beer, chant to camera.

AMERICAN TAILGATERS
USA! USA! USA!


EXT. IRAQ - DAY

Kurt the Narrator talks to us into a video camera.

NARRATOR
Hi. Seems like they’ve been
shipping men and equipment out of
Afghanistan and into Iraq. And at
the moment we’re a little unsure of
what’s going on. I don’t want you
to worry about me.


EXT. AIRCRAFT CARRIER - APRIL 9, 2003 - DAY

ACTUAL VT: W BUSH speaks from a podium. (STOCK FOOTAGE/HEAD
REPLACEMENT).

W BUSH
Ladies and Gentlemen... Major
Combat operations in Iraq have
ended. In the Battle of Iraq, the
United States and our allies have
prevailed.


INT. RUMSFELD’S OFFICE - DAY

Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz and TWO GENERALS meet.

GENERAL #1
We have concerns over Halliburton
KBR’s billing practices.
(MORE)
90.

GENERAL #1 (CONT'D)
As you know, the no-bid contracts
they received were quite sizable
and now-

RUMSFELD
Well, we’re not concerned. Are we?

DICK
Not at all.

WOLFOWITZ
The Secretary of Defense and the
Vice President just said they’re
not concerned. Now can we please
talk about Iran?


EXT. TEXAS SKY - DAY - 2006

Birds fly across a late morning Texas sky.

We hear a SHOTGUN BLAST AND A SCREAM. Tilt down to reveal a
lawyer, 78, HARRY WHITTINGTON with blood all over his face.

It is a hunting group: PAMELA WILLEFORD, Cheney, holding a
smoking gun, a RANCH HAND, SECRET SERVICE AGENTS and OTHERS
sitting in town cars parked across from the hunting blind.

NARRATOR
To this day, Dick Cheney has never
apologized for this incident.

KATHERINE ARMSTRONG, late 50’s and her sister run up.

KATHERINE ARMSTRONG
Jesus Dick..

CU OF AN EMPTY BEER CAN.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
But, someone else did.

CUT TO:


TV SCREEN: BREAKING NEWS MSNBC - DAY

HARRY WHITTINGTON
My family and I are deeply sorry
for all that Vice President Cheney
and his family have had to go
through this past week. We send our
love and respect to them.
(MORE)
91.

HARRY WHITTINGTON (CONT'D)
And we hope he will continue to
come to Texas and seek the
relaxation that he deserves.


INT. CHENEY’S OFFICE - DAY

Cheney and Scooter look at the famous Op-ed in the NY Times
by Joe Wilson questioning the yellowcake intel.

DICK
This Joe Wilson asshole is
questioning our intelligence in the
New York Times? What’s his wife’s
name?

SCOOTER LIBBY
Valerie Plame. I confirmed it.
She’s undercover CIA.

DICK
Leak it...

SMASH CUT TO:


“ONE YEAR LATER”


EXT. ROAD OUTSIDE OF BAGHDAD - DAY - 2004

A road near some Iraqi apartments. A CONVOY OF AMERICAN
HUMVEES MAKES THEIR WAY DOWN THE ROAD. Two SOLDIERS, 19 AND
29 sit in the front of one of the vehicles.

SOLDIER #1
Okay, okay, like... they don’t care
about their dogs. They’ll shoot em,
let em run wild... What kind of
people don’t love a dog?

SOLDIER #2
People in India love cows. They
would look at us and how we treat
cows and think the same thing.

SOLDIER #1
Captain, with all due respect that
is some liberal ass scratchin
bullshit if ever I’ve heard it-

EXPLOSION GOES OFF UNDER THEIR FRONT WHEEL.
92.


The vehicle is thrown up in the air. QUICK FLASH OF THE YOUNG
SOLDIER DEAD, HIS RIGHT HALF BLOWN CLEAN OFF.


INT. WHITE HOUSE HALLWAY - DAY

Rumsfeld, holding a piece of paper in his hand, walks with a
head of steam towards the Vice President’s office. He walks
right past his SECRETARY.

RUMSFELD
Linda-
Genres: ["War","Drama","Political"]

Summary Set against the backdrop of the Iraq War in 2003, the scene juxtaposes patriotic celebrations in the U.S. with the grim realities of conflict. It begins with U.S. soldiers amidst chaos in Iraq, transitions to jubilant Iraqis toppling Saddam Hussein's statue, and features President Bush's declaration of the end of major combat operations. Meanwhile, key figures like Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld dismiss concerns over military contracts and engage in covert actions. The tone shifts dramatically as a hunting accident involving Cheney reveals personal irresponsibility, culminating in a violent explosion that claims a soldier's life, highlighting the stark contrast between American pride and the harsh consequences of war.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of satire and seriousness
  • Real-world integration for authenticity
  • Compelling character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Some transitions could be smoother
Critique
  • The scene effectively uses montage to juxtapose the initial triumph of the Iraq invasion with darker, more controversial events, reinforcing the film's satirical tone by highlighting the hubris and consequences of Cheney's actions. However, the rapid cuts between celebratory imagery (like the horse-riding family and tailgate chant) and grim realities (such as the hunting accident and soldier's death) can feel disjointed, potentially overwhelming the audience and diluting the emotional impact. This lack of smooth transitions might make it hard for viewers to fully absorb the critique, as the scene jumps across time periods without clear signposting, which could confuse those not deeply familiar with the historical events.
  • While the use of stock footage and head replacements for Bush adds authenticity and humor, it risks making the scene feel like a documentary montage rather than a cohesive narrative moment. The freeze-frame of the Cheney family on horses is a visually striking choice that humanizes Cheney, but it comes across as overly idealized and disconnected from the surrounding chaos, potentially undermining the satire by presenting a 'magnificent' family image that feels unearned or propagandistic in contrast to the film's critical lens. This could alienate viewers who expect consistent irony.
  • The narrator's (Kurt) direct address in Iraq provides a personal touch and reassures the audience, but it interrupts the flow and might pull focus from the main action. Additionally, the scene's handling of key events like the Cheney hunting accident and the Valerie Plame leak is abrupt and lacks depth; for instance, the leak is mentioned in a single line without exploring its implications or Cheney's motivations, which diminishes the opportunity to delve into character psychology and thematic elements like abuse of power.
  • Dialogue is sparse and functional but often feels expository or on-the-nose, such as in the Rumsfeld office meeting where concerns about Halliburton are quickly dismissed. This approach serves the satire but doesn't allow for nuanced character interactions, making figures like Cheney and Rumsfeld appear as caricatures rather than complex individuals. The end of the scene, with Rumsfeld bursting in, feels like a cliffhanger that bleeds into the next scene, which might disrupt pacing and leave this montage feeling incomplete as a standalone unit.
  • Thematically, the scene successfully builds on the film's critique of manipulation and consequence, showing how initial victories lead to ongoing issues (e.g., shifting focus to Iran, the Plame leak). However, the inclusion of elements like the tailgate chant and the soldier's death in Baghdad feels somewhat gratuitous and sensationalized, potentially prioritizing shock value over substantive commentary. This could make the satire less effective if it relies too heavily on graphic imagery without tying it back to Cheney's personal arc or the broader narrative.
  • Overall, the scene's strength lies in its montage style, which efficiently covers a lot of ground in the screenplay's latter half, but it sacrifices emotional depth and character development for breadth. As scene 31 out of 36, it serves as a pivotal moment transitioning from invasion justification to fallout, yet it could better connect to earlier scenes (like the buildup in scenes 27-30) by reinforcing motifs such as the manipulation of public opinion or the Unitary Executive Theory, making the critique more cohesive and impactful for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Improve transitions between montage elements by adding subtle visual or auditory cues, such as fade-ins/outs or recurring motifs (e.g., a ticking clock or news ticker) to better guide the audience through time jumps and maintain narrative flow.
  • Enhance character depth in key moments, like the Cheney family horse ride or the Rumsfeld meeting, by incorporating brief, introspective dialogue or voice-over that reveals Cheney's internal conflicts, making him less of a distant figure and more relatable within the satire.
  • Refine the use of the narrator by integrating his commentary more seamlessly, perhaps by limiting direct-to-camera addresses and using voice-over during visual montages to provide context without breaking immersion, allowing the audience to focus on the visuals.
  • Balance the pacing by extending or condensing certain sections; for example, give more screen time to the Valerie Plame leak discussion to explore its ethical implications, or shorten the celebratory segments to emphasize the darker turns, ensuring each element contributes meaningfully to the scene's critique.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by explicitly linking events in this scene to earlier ones, such as referencing the 'mushroom cloud' rhetoric from scene 28 or the focus group manipulations from scene 27, through dialogue or visual callbacks, to create a more unified narrative arc.
  • Consider adding subtlety to satirical elements, like the tailgate chant or the hunting accident, by incorporating ironic undertones or contrasting shots (e.g., intercutting the chant with images of war casualties) to heighten the critique without relying on overt shock, making the scene more engaging and thought-provoking.



Scene 32 -  The Consequences of Power
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. OFFICE OF THE VICE PRESIDENT - CONTINUOUS

Rumsfeld bursts in. Cheney and Scooter are there.

RUMSFELD
Look at this crap.

DICK
Hello Don.

RUMSFELD
That report says Zarqawi, the same
fucking Zarqawi we talked up for
months, is leading a major
insurgency in Iraq. And the
implication is it’s because we
talked him up!

He hands Cheney a CIA CLASSIFIED BRIEFING. Flashes of words
“building insurgency” “Zarqawi” “using former Iraqi Military”
“Zarqawi” and once again, “Zarqawi.”

DICK
Has POTUS seen this?

RUMSFELD
No I intercepted it before it got
across the hallway.

Libby is now reading it.

SCOOTER LIBBY
This is generated by an analyst.

DICK
Get me Tenet. This stops here.
93.


XT. WIDE CITY VIEW OF BAGHDAD - DAY - 2004

THE ANCIENT CITY LOOKS NORMAL, with traffic, and yes, a
military presence but still, fairly hum drum.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi had taken his
fame from Powell's UN speech and
taken it into his own new thing.

An explosion erupts in the distance. We hear sirens.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
The Islamic state of Iraq and
Levant, or ISIS.

Another explosion in the distance. More sirens.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And because that intelligence
somehow found itself on the bottom
of a stack of papers, Zarqawi had a
whole year to do whatever the hell
he wanted.


INT. BRITISH SUBWAY CAR - DAY - 2005

We pan off a blood stained and blackened wall of a subway car
and down to the floor where a blood smear from a body being
dragged makes it way across the floor. There is a briefcase
with scattered papers, a purse, a child’s lunch box and shoe
and a severed hand laying about.

NARRATOR
And what he wanted was carnage.

We follow the smear down the aisle and out to the door where
it meets the platform and becomes dirt and blood mixed
together. We see the legs of 2 POLICE OFFICERS IN THE
BACKGROUND.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Shia versus Sunni, the West versus
Islam and death versus life.


EXT. SADDAM HUSSEIN’S PALACE - BEDROOM - DAY

Next to a giant bed, a shelf full of dusty VHS tapes of
American movies.
94.


NARRATOR (V.O.)
And on top of that US forces
couldn't find any WMD's or nuclear
programs in Iraq.

Pan past copies of RED HEAT, TURNER AND HOOTCH etc.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
Turns out that Saddam and his son's
mostly liked cocaine and American
movies from the 80's.


INT. SENATE FLOOR - DAY - JUNE 2004

Cheney walks through the crowded Senate floor, shaking hands.

SNIPPETS OF NEWSCASTERS (V.O.)
Vice President Cheney is being sued
by Valerie Plame and her husband
Joseph Wilson.... The White House
announced four cabinet
resignations...

A Dem Senator PATRICK LEAHY, 60’s approaches him.

PATRICK LEAHY
Hey Dick. I hope there’s no hard
feelings about us investigating the
no-bid Iraq contracts for
Halliburton. Just doing my job.

Cheney turns to him with his crooked smile.

DICK
Go fuck yourself.


EXT. NATIONAL’S BALL PARK - DAY

Dick Cheney, wearing a Nationals jacket comes exits the
dugout to throw out the first pitch.

The crowd boos Cheney.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Dick Cheney low and outside with
that pitch.
Genres: ["Political Drama","War"]

Summary In this tense scene, Donald Rumsfeld confronts Dick Cheney with a CIA report implicating their role in promoting Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, leading to a decision to suppress the information. The narrative shifts to the aftermath of terrorism in Baghdad and a British subway, highlighting the chaos and conflict stemming from their actions. Cheney faces scrutiny in the Senate over Halliburton contracts, culminating in a dismissive exchange with Senator Leahy. The scene concludes with Cheney throwing the first pitch at a Nationals game, met with boos from the crowd, underscoring the public's discontent.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of consequences
  • Balanced tone of tension and satire
  • Compelling character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of resolution in some character arcs
Critique
  • The scene effectively escalates the consequences of earlier decisions by showing how the administration's hype of Zarqawi backfires, creating a direct link between past actions and present chaos, which reinforces the film's thematic focus on the ripple effects of power and misinformation. However, the rapid cuts between multiple locations and time periods can feel disjointed, potentially overwhelming the audience and diluting the emotional impact, as it jumps from a personal confrontation in Cheney's office to broad, global ramifications without sufficient breathing room for the viewer to process each element.
  • The dialogue in the opening confrontation between Rumsfeld and Cheney is sharp and revealing, highlighting their cold, pragmatic approach to covering up mistakes, which adds depth to their characters and maintains the film's satirical tone. That said, Cheney's curt response to Senator Leahy ('Go fuck yourself') is a strong moment that underscores his arrogance, but it might come across as overly simplistic or cartoonish if not balanced with more nuanced interactions, risking the portrayal of characters as one-dimensional villains rather than complex figures.
  • The use of narrator voice-over is heavy-handed in this scene, particularly in explaining the rise of ISIS and the lack of WMDs, which tells the audience what to think rather than allowing the visuals and actions to convey the story. This approach can make the film feel less cinematic and more like a documentary, potentially alienating viewers who prefer subtler storytelling, and it may undermine the dramatic tension by preempting emotional revelations with expository commentary.
  • Visually, the montage sequences, such as the explosions in Baghdad and the graphic subway attack, are impactful in illustrating the human cost of the war, but they risk becoming gratuitous or numbing if not carefully calibrated. The shift to lighter moments, like the baseball game, provides contrast but feels abrupt and tonally inconsistent, which could confuse the audience about the scene's primary focus and weaken the overall narrative cohesion.
  • In the context of the entire script, as scene 32 out of 36, this scene builds towards the climax by showing the fallout of the Iraq invasion, but it might not sufficiently advance character arcs or plot in a way that feels organic. For instance, while it highlights Cheney's role in suppressing information, it doesn't explore his internal conflict or growth, missing an opportunity to deepen the audience's understanding of his motivations and how they evolve, especially given the personal stakes introduced in earlier scenes involving his family.
Suggestions
  • Reduce reliance on narrator voice-over by incorporating more visual storytelling elements, such as showing the consequences of Zarqawi's rise through character-driven scenes or symbolic imagery, to make the film more engaging and immersive.
  • Improve transitions between the various settings by using establishing shots, sound bridges, or recurring motifs (e.g., explosions or sirens) to create a smoother flow and help the audience follow the temporal and spatial jumps without confusion.
  • Add more depth to character interactions, such as extending the confrontation between Rumsfeld and Cheney to include subtle emotional beats or flashbacks, to humanize them and provide insight into their relationships, making the scene less expository and more dynamic.
  • Focus the montage on fewer, more impactful elements to avoid overwhelming the viewer; for example, concentrate on the insurgency's growth and its direct links to U.S. actions, cutting back on graphic violence unless it serves a clear narrative purpose, to maintain emotional resonance.
  • Enhance the scene's role in building tension by tying it more explicitly to Cheney's personal life or the overarching themes, such as through a brief cut to his family reacting to news reports, to create a stronger emotional through-line and ensure it propels the story towards the finale.



Scene 33 -  Power Struggles and Ironic Fates
  • Overall: 9.2
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. PENTAGON HALLWAY - DAY - NOVEMBER 2006

An AIDE walks down a long hallway as we hear snippets of
news, radio and pundits.
95.


NEWS SNIPPETS (V.O.)
Some nations accusing Bush and
Cheney of war crimes... There is a
chorus of people calling for Dick
Cheney to step aside and resign.

The AIDE reaches the end of the hallway, knocks on a door.

RUMSFELD (O.C.)
Go away!

The Aide turns and walks away.


SAME TIME

Cheney is on the phone in his study. Cut back and forth.

RUMSFELD
I wanted a clean phone line so I’m
in an empty office. Listen, if we
can just get an air bombardment in
Iraq, it’ll make a statement and
give us political cover-

DICK
It’s over Don.

RUMSFELD
What’s that?

DICK
It’s over. The President wants you
to step down. He appreciates your
service.

Beat.

RUMSFELD
Does Bush’s kid want me out or do
you?

Beat.

DICK
I can’t win every fight Don.

RUMSFELD
You are a little piece of shit.

Beat.
96.


RUMSFELD (CONT’D)
Wow, how did you become such a cold
son of a bitch.

DICK
I’m sorry Don. I really am.

RUMSFELD
You know how I know you’re not?
(beat)
Because I wouldn’t be.

Beat.

RUMSFELD (CONT’D)
Do you think they’ll prosecute us?

Long beat.

DICK
...Okay then.

RUMSFELD
Okay then.

Rumsfeld hangs up.


EXT. WEST FRONT LAWN OF THE CAPITOL - JAN 20, 2009

THE INAUGURATION OF BARACK OBAMA. Cheney, in a wheelchair,
and W Bush walk out for the ceremonial changing of power
(STOCK FOOTAGE/HEAD REPLACEMENT).

CUT TO:


EXT. SUBURBAN STREETS - DAY

Our NARRATOR jogs while talking to camera.

NARRATOR
A few years later, Dick’s heart
trouble started up again. With no
donor available, he finally found
himself at death’s door.


INT. GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL - DAY

Cheney, looking very thin is in a hospital bed with Mary, Liz
and Lynne around him. A DOCTOR is there.
97.


DOCTOR
I wish I had better news. Your
heart just isn’t pumping enough
oxygen to keep his vital organs
alive. Should I call for a
Minister?

LYNNE
No. He’s not going anywhere. Dick
Cheney you are not going anywhere,
do you hear me?!

DICK CHENEY
(raspy)
This may be the one time I can’t do
what your Mother says.

The family laughs while crying.

MARY
I love you Daddy.

LIZ
We love you so much...

DICK
I love my girls...

Lynne comes over to Dick and they share a quiet moment
together.


EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - DAY

Our NARRATOR, continues jogging.

NARRATOR
Dick Cheney told his family he was
ready to die and that he wasn’t
afraid. He told them he had lived a
full life. And he had zero regrets
about the choices-

A CAR HITS THE NARRATOR IN A CROSS WALK. Throwing him with a
bone crushing thud onto the hard macadam of the street. BLOOD
POOLS BEHIND HIS HEAD.

QUICK CUTS: 1) A HEART BEING PUT ON ICE IN AN ORANGE COOLER.
2) A MEDICAL HELICOPTER TAKING OFF 3) A SURGICAL ROOM BEING
PREPPED.
98.


INT. SURGICAL ROOM - DAY

Cheney is wheeled into the surgical room.


INT. MORGUE - SAME TIME

The NARRATOR WITH CROSS HATCHED STITCHING ACROSS HIS CHEST,
nude, lays on a morgue slab.

NARRATOR
(to camera)
They say my heart could give him
another ten years. Cheney doesn’t
like to refer to it as someone
else’s heart, he likes to refer to
it as his NEW heart. And even
though I’m dead, it still makes me
feel pretty shitty.

A helicopter lands on the roof of the hospital. A doctor runs
with a cooler.
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Biographical"]

Summary In a tense Pentagon hallway in November 2006, an aide is dismissed by Rumsfeld, who is on a phone call with Cheney advocating for military action in Iraq. Cheney informs Rumsfeld of his dismissal, leading to a heated exchange filled with insults. The scene shifts to January 20, 2009, during Obama's inauguration, showing Cheney in a wheelchair. In a hospital, Cheney's family shares emotional moments as a doctor delivers grim news about his health. Meanwhile, the narrator jogs and reflects on Cheney's lack of regrets before being struck by a car, leading to a darkly ironic twist where his heart is prepared for Cheney's transplant. The scene concludes with a helicopter landing on the hospital roof, hinting at the impending surgery.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Thematic richness
Weaknesses
  • Limited external action
  • Reliance on dialogue for conflict resolution
Critique
  • The scene effectively maintains the satirical and critical tone of the overall screenplay by juxtaposing Cheney's political downfall with personal vulnerability, creating a poignant contrast that underscores the theme of unchecked power and its consequences. However, the rapid cuts between locations and time periods can feel disjointed, potentially confusing the audience and diluting the emotional weight of key moments, such as the Rumsfeld phone call or the hospital scene. As a teacher, I'd suggest that while this montage style fits the film's fast-paced, non-linear narrative, it risks overwhelming viewers who are not fully invested in the characters, making it harder to connect with Cheney's human side.
  • The dialogue in the Rumsfeld-Cheney exchange is sharp and revealing, capturing the bitterness and betrayal in their relationship, which helps to humanize Cheney by showing the personal cost of his ambitions. That said, Rumsfeld's insults ('little piece of shit,' 'cold son of a bitch') come across as overly blunt and caricatured, which might reinforce stereotypes rather than adding depth. This could alienate readers or viewers who seek more nuanced character interactions, and it misses an opportunity to explore the complexity of their long-standing alliance, perhaps by including subtle references to their shared history from earlier scenes.
  • The hospital sequence with Cheney's family is a strong emotional anchor, providing a rare glimpse of vulnerability and love that contrasts with his portrayal as a detached figure. This moment effectively builds sympathy and reinforces the theme of family legacy, but it borders on melodrama with lines like 'I love my girls...' and the crying-laughter dynamic, which feel somewhat clichéd. As an expert, I note that while this scene humanizes Cheney, it might not fully integrate with the satirical elements, creating a tonal shift that could confuse the audience about the film's intent—whether it's a comedy, drama, or both.
  • The narrator's death and heart donation twist is a clever, meta-narrative device that ties the story together, emphasizing the personal impact of Cheney's actions on ordinary people (represented by the narrator). However, the suddenness of the car accident and the graphic depiction might come off as gratuitous or comedic in a way that undercuts the scene's gravity, potentially trivializing serious themes like mortality and regret. This element, while innovative, could benefit from more buildup or foreshadowing to make it feel earned rather than shocking for shock value.
  • Visually, the scene uses effective symbolism, such as the wheelchair at the inauguration and the heart transplant, to convey themes of decline and renewal, but the quick cuts (e.g., from suburban jogging to hospital) lack smooth transitions, which might make the sequence feel rushed or incoherent. In the context of the entire script, this scene is pivotal as it nears the end, but it doesn't fully capitalize on building tension towards the finale, instead focusing on closure for Cheney without adequately addressing the broader ramifications of his actions hinted at in previous scenes.
  • Overall, the scene successfully escalates the personal stakes for Cheney while maintaining the film's critical lens on power and accountability. However, the integration of the narrator's perspective feels forced in places, as his voice-over commentary during his own death scene blurs the line between narrator and character, which could confuse audiences about his role. This meta-approach is ambitious but might dilute the emotional core if not handled with care, especially since the narrator has been a consistent guide, and his abrupt demise risks feeling like a gimmick rather than a meaningful narrative conclusion.
Suggestions
  • Smooth out the transitions between scenes by adding brief voice-over bridges or visual motifs (e.g., heartbeats or fading images) to guide the audience through time jumps, making the narrative flow more cohesively and reducing potential confusion.
  • Enhance character depth in the Rumsfeld-Cheney dialogue by incorporating subtext or flashbacks to their earlier collaborations, allowing for more layered exchanges that reveal their motivations and regrets, thus making the confrontation feel more authentic and less reliant on direct insults.
  • Refine the emotional beats in the hospital scene by adding specific, personal details (e.g., references to shared memories from earlier scenes) to avoid clichés, and balance the sentimentality with subtle humor to maintain the film's satirical tone without jarring tonal shifts.
  • Build up the narrator's heart donation twist earlier in the script with subtle hints (e.g., the narrator mentioning his health or Cheney's heart issues), so it feels like a natural payoff rather than a sudden shock, increasing its emotional and thematic impact.
  • Adjust pacing by extending key moments, such as the Rumsfeld phone call or Cheney's family interaction, to allow for more breathing room and deeper audience engagement, while cutting or condensing less critical elements like the inauguration stock footage to keep the focus sharp.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by having the narrator's voice-over explicitly connect his fate to Cheney's actions (e.g., linking his death to the wars Cheney influenced), ensuring the meta-element reinforces the film's critique of power and personal consequence without overshadowing the main narrative.



Scene 34 -  Legacy and Division
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. SURGICAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The SURGEON AND TEAM make an incision in Cheney’s chest.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And so, when Liz decided to run for
one of Wyoming two senate seats
against Republican incumbent Mike
Enzi, our Dick was right there to
hopefully see the Cheney legacy of
power continue.


INT. CHENEY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY

CU of a phone. We hear a RECORDING OF MAN’S VOICE coming
through the receiver.

RECORDING (SOT)
Are you aware Wyoming Senate
candidate Liz Cheney supports gay
marriage? Her sister is married to
a woman and Liz refuses to support
a constitutional amendment banning
same sex marriage. Don’t you agree,
Wyoming deserves a Senator who
believes marriage is between a man
and a woman.

Liz, in tears puts down the phone.
99.


LIZ CHENEY
(in tears)
These calls went to every house in
Wyoming. Every single house. I
will never win! What are we gonna
do?


INT. SURGICAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The Surgeon has the chest spreader out and opens up Cheney’s
chest, revealing his heart.


INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY

Liz being interview by male news anchor.

MALE NEWS ANCHOR
We’re joined here today by Liz
Cheney who is running for the
Senate from the state of Wyoming.
According to one poll she is behind
by double digits. Welcome.

LIZ CHENEY
Thank you for having me here Chris.
And may I point out there are other
polls that have me much closer.

MALE NEWS ANCHOR
Your opponent Senator Mike Enzi
claims you support gay marriage. In
part because you support your gay
sister’s union with her wife. How
do you respond?

LIZ CHENEY
Let me make this very, very clear:
I do not support gay marriage. I
believe marriage is between a man
and a woman.

MALE NEWS ANCHOR
But you’ve always claimed gay
marriage is a state issue. Your
opponent claims this is an
equivocation.


INT. CHENEY’S TV ROOM - VIRGINIA - NIGHT

Cheney and Lynne watch. Cheney is silent.
100.


LYNNE
I think she’s coming off very well.


INT. MARY CHENEY'S HOME - THE NEXT DAY

Mary is on the phone with Heather behind her. Their
children’s toys scattered on the floor.

MARY
(in tears)
I know Liz wouldn’t have done this
without you and Dad didn’t approve.
I can’t believe you would do this.
I really thought there was a limit
to politics..


INT. CHENEY’S VIRGINIA HOME - SAME TIME

Lynne is on the phone.

LYNNE
No now you’re just being
hysterical. I can’t talk to you
when you get this way. You need to
settle down.

Dick sits in the background.


INT. SURGICAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The Surgeon removes Cheney’s heart. We see Cheney on the
table. A hole where the heart should be. Even the Surgeon
takes a beat to take in the image.

QUICK CUTS SHOWING:

1) A Soldier’s body in a casket as a group of soldiers
salute. 2) Bodies burning in the streets of Iraq. 3) Rumsfeld
alone in the Pentagon basement office. 4)George W standing
alone thinking. 5) A solider taking a thumbs up photo with a
dead Iraqi. 6) Focus Groups raising their hands. 7) A news
office reporting of various stories. 8) Stills of Americans
yelling. 9) Kids in American cages.


INT. SURGICAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

A heart is placed in Cheney’s chest.

CUT TO:
101.


INT. CHENEY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY

Liz waits for Dick’s response to the push poll about her
sister.

LIZ
DAD?...

Lynne looks at Dick...who after a beat, NODS “DO IT.”


INT. MARY’S HOME - DAY

Mary’s wife rubs her back as she cries.

QUICK CUTS/STILLS SHOWING:

1)Iconic Crying Border Girl 2) Cops pulling guns on a group
of black teenagers 3)High school graduates being arrested. 4)
Alex Jones from INFO WARS 5) A family praying 6) Dick walking
out to fish.


EXT. WYOMING LAKE SIDE - DAY

Push into the trees til we focus on one tree with an aged
worn carving in it of a HEART WITH: DICK + LYNNE


INT. SURGICAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

We hear a heart monitor beeping.

NURSE
Patient’s heart rate is stable.
Blood pressure increasing...

Pan to the side table where CHENEY’S OLD HEART SITS, SCARRED
FROM IT’S MANY HEART ATTACKS AND TWICE THE SIZE OF A NORMAL
HEALTHY HEART.

“Lynne and Dick split time between their home in Wyoming and
Virginia.”

“In 2016, Liz was elected as Wyoming’s sole representative to
the House of Representatives.”

“Mary Cheney was asked in 2015 whether she and Liz had mended
their relationship. She replied, “I don’t have to answer
that.””

CUT TO BLACK:
102.
Genres: ["Drama","Political"]

Summary In Scene 34, Dick Cheney undergoes heart surgery, symbolizing his legacy, while intercut with Liz Cheney's tumultuous 2014 Senate campaign. As Liz grapples with personal and political challenges, including a push poll attacking her stance on gay marriage, tensions rise within the Cheney family, particularly with her sister Mary. The scene highlights Liz's struggle for approval from her father, Dick, who ultimately gives a nod to escalate her campaign tactics. The emotional weight of the surgery parallels the familial conflicts, culminating in a dramatic exploration of ambition and its costs.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
  • Political intrigue
Weaknesses
  • Potential for melodrama
  • Slightly predictable plot twists
Critique
  • The intercutting between Dick Cheney's heart surgery and Liz Cheney's Senate campaign effectively symbolizes the intertwining of personal health and political legacy, but it can feel disjointed and overwhelming due to rapid shifts between locations and timelines. This technique aims to parallel Cheney's physical vulnerability with the ethical 'heart' of his family's political ambitions, but without smoother transitions or clearer narrative cues, it risks confusing the audience and diluting the emotional intensity of key moments, such as Liz's breakdown or Mary's confrontation.
  • Character development, particularly for Dick Cheney, relies heavily on his silence and minimal actions (e.g., nodding 'DO IT'), which reinforces his portrayal as a stoic, manipulative figure. However, this approach limits opportunities for deeper insight into his motivations, making him seem one-dimensional. In a scene meant to explore family dynamics and legacy, more subtle expressions—such as internal monologue or facial reactions—could provide nuance, helping viewers understand his internal conflict and making the critique more engaging for readers who might see him as overly villainous without balanced humanity.
  • The quick cuts to symbolic imagery (e.g., soldiers' caskets, border children in cages) are powerful in evoking the broader consequences of Cheney's policies, tying into the film's satirical tone. However, this montage style can come across as heavy-handed and preachy, potentially alienating viewers by prioritizing ideological messaging over storytelling. It interrupts the flow of the family drama, and while it underscores themes of power and fallout, it might benefit from more integration with the main action to avoid feeling like a separate editorial segment.
  • Dialogue in the scene, such as the push poll recording and Liz's news interview, feels expository and scripted, which undermines the authenticity of the characters' emotions. For instance, Liz's tearful outburst and Mary's phone confrontation are meant to highlight familial strain, but the dialogue lacks subtext, making it seem didactic rather than organic. This could reduce the scene's emotional impact, as readers or viewers might find the exchanges too on-the-nose, especially in a screenplay that aims for satire and realism.
  • The use of on-screen text at the end to provide updates on the Cheneys' lives is a practical way to deliver exposition, but it disrupts the narrative momentum and feels tacked on. In a film with a strong narrator voice-over presence, this text might seem redundant or less cinematic, pulling focus from the visual and emotional climax of the surgery. It could be more effectively woven into the story through the narrator or subtle visual cues to maintain immersion and align with the screenplay's stylistic consistency.
  • Thematically, the scene successfully connects Cheney's personal health crisis to his political legacy and the cost to his family, but it risks oversimplifying complex issues like the impact of his policies on society. The symbolic heart surgery is a clever metaphor for his 'heartless' actions, but it may come across as too literal, potentially weakening the satire. A more nuanced exploration of how his decisions affect his daughters could strengthen the theme, making the critique more resonant for both the writer and audience.
  • Pacing issues arise from the scene's length and density, with multiple emotional beats crammed into a short sequence. For example, the surgery intercuts might aim for tension, but they can make the scene feel rushed, especially in contrast to slower, more reflective moments like Dick's nod. This could challenge audience engagement, as the rapid shifts might not allow enough time for emotional investment, suggesting a need for better rhythm to balance action, dialogue, and symbolism.
Suggestions
  • To improve the intercutting, use audio bridges or visual motifs (e.g., heartbeats syncing with campaign stress) to create smoother transitions between the surgery and campaign scenes, making the parallels clearer and less jarring for the audience.
  • Add subtle character depth to Dick Cheney by incorporating brief flashbacks or voice-over during his silent moments, revealing his thoughts on legacy or regret, which could humanize him and provide more layers to his decision-making process.
  • Refine the montage of symbolic imagery by selecting fewer, more impactful shots and ensuring each one directly references a specific aspect of Cheney's history (e.g., linking a war image to his Iraq decisions), to avoid overload and strengthen the connection to the main narrative.
  • Enhance dialogue authenticity by adding subtext and emotional nuance; for instance, have Liz's responses in the interview show hesitation or internal conflict through pauses and body language, making her denials more compelling and less straightforward.
  • Integrate the on-screen text into the narrator's voice-over or embed it within the scene through character conversations, allowing for a more seamless delivery of exposition and maintaining the film's consistent use of narration.
  • Extend key emotional moments, like Mary's phone call or Liz's plea to Dick, to build tension and allow for more character interaction, which could deepen the exploration of family dynamics and make the political commentary feel more personal and less abstract.
  • Tighten pacing by grouping similar intercuts or using fade transitions to control rhythm, ensuring that high-tension elements (e.g., surgery) are balanced with quieter beats to give the audience time to absorb the emotional and thematic weight without feeling rushed.



Scene 35 -  Defending the Unjustifiable
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM

Camera crew surrounds Dick and Martha the interviewer.

MARTHA
Hello Mr. Vice President.

DICK
This must be the right place.

MARTHA
Nice to meet you.

DICK
Pleasure.

MARTHA
You can sit right there.

DICK
So is it gonna be just me on camera
or...

MARTHA
Primarily you. It’ll cut back to
me. Eddie’s got you on the “A”
camera. Me on the B.

OVER BLACK:

“4,550 US Soldiers were killed in the Iraq war with over
32,325 casualties. Suicide among American soldiers has
increased 31% since 2001.”

”More than 600,000 Iraqi civilians died as a result of the
war.”

“ISIS is responsible for the deaths of an estimated 150,000
civilians in Syria and Iraq with more than 2,000 murdered in
international terror attacks.

CUT TO:


INT. INTERVIEW ROOM

Camera crew surrounds Dick and Martha the interviewer.

Dick takes a drink of water.

MARTHA
Two-thirds of Americans say the
Iraq war is not worth fighting.
(MORE)
103.

MARTHA (CONT'D)
And their looking at the value
gained at the cost of American
lives. And Iraqi lives.

DICK
So?

Beat.

MARTHA
So...don’t you care what the
American People think?

DICK
No..uh...I think you can’t be, uh,
blown off course.

Dick struggles then turns to camera.

DICK (CONT’D)
I can feel your recriminations and
your judgement. And I am fine with
it. If you want to be loved, go be
a movie star. The world is as you
find it. And you gotta deal with
that reality. And there are
monsters in this world. We saw
3,000 innocent people burned to
death, by those monsters. And yet,
you object, when I refuse to kiss
those monsters on the cheek and
say, “pretty please.” You answer me
this, What terrorist attack would
you let go forward so you wouldn’t
seem like a mean and nasty fella? I
will not apologize for keeping your
families safe. And I will not
apologize for doing what needed to
be done, so your loved ones can
sleep peacefully at night.

Dick gets emotional.

DICK (CONT’D)
It has been my honor to be your
servant. You chose me and I did
what you asked.

CUT TO BLACK:

“In the years following the invasion of Iraq, Halliburton
stock rose 500%”
104.


“The Bush-Cheney White House claimed to have lost 22 million
emails, including millions that were written in the run up to
the Iraq war.”

“It was found that there were “Blackout” periods, when there
were no emails available from the office of Vice President
Cheney.”

“The memos Yoo wrote on torture and warrantless surveillance
give the President almost unlimited power under the unitary
executive theory.”

“These memos are in the Justice Department’s computers to
this day.”

“Any President can still cite them if he or she wishes.”

MUSIC: America from WEST SIDE STORY

CREDITS ROLL

THEN AFTER AWHILE THEY ARE INTERRUPTED BY A HASH AND A
CHANNEL CHANGE...
Genres: ["Drama","Political"]

Summary In scene 35, Dick Cheney is interviewed by Martha in a tense setting where she confronts him about the public's disapproval of the Iraq war and its heavy human cost. Despite the grim statistics presented, including U.S. and Iraqi casualties, Cheney responds dismissively, asserting his unwavering commitment to national security and justifying his actions post-9/11. He delivers a passionate defense of his decisions, emphasizing his honor in serving the American people. The scene concludes with a stark cut to black, revealing the war's aftermath and controversies surrounding the Bush-Cheney administration.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Powerful dialogue
  • Character introspection
Weaknesses
  • Limited external plot progression
  • Reliance on monologue for exposition
Critique
  • The scene effectively serves as a climactic confrontation where Dick Cheney directly addresses the audience and critics, encapsulating the film's central theme of unaccountable power. However, this direct address feels overly expository and didactic, potentially undermining the subtlety built in earlier scenes by having Cheney monologue his defenses without much pushback, which could make the satire less engaging and more preachy for viewers who prefer shown rather than told storytelling.
  • The inclusion of on-screen text with statistics about casualties and consequences is a strong narrative device that grounds the scene in real-world facts, enhancing the documentary-style approach of the screenplay. That said, it risks overwhelming the emotional core of the interview, as the text dominates the latter half, shifting focus from character interaction to information dump, which might dilute the dramatic tension and make the scene feel more like a PSA than a cinematic moment.
  • Cheney's dialogue is passionate and reveals his character's unrepentant nature, providing a fitting end to his arc. However, it lacks nuance and depth, coming across as a simplistic justification that doesn't grapple with the complexities of his actions or the human cost, which could alienate audiences by portraying him as a one-dimensional villain rather than a nuanced figure, especially given the film's satirical tone that often blends humor with criticism.
  • The interview format is functional for delivering exposition but feels static and less visually dynamic compared to the high-energy montages and action sequences earlier in the script. This contrast might highlight the scene's weaknesses, as it relies heavily on dialogue without incorporating more cinematic elements like cuts to flashbacks or symbolic imagery, potentially reducing its impact in a film that thrives on visual storytelling.
  • In the context of the entire screenplay, this scene attempts to provide thematic closure by confronting the consequences of Cheney's decisions, but it doesn't fully integrate with the personal elements from previous scenes, such as his family conflicts or health issues. This disconnection makes the scene feel somewhat isolated, missing an opportunity to weave in threads like the strained relationship with Mary Cheney or his heart condition to create a more cohesive emotional payoff.
  • The transition to credits with the channel change effect is a clever meta-commentary on media manipulation and the cyclical nature of news, maintaining the film's satirical edge. However, it comes across as abrupt and anticlimactic, potentially confusing viewers or weakening the scene's emotional weight by shifting tones too quickly, which could benefit from a smoother integration to better emphasize the film's overarching message about power and accountability.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the interview dynamic by adding more back-and-forth between Martha and Cheney, such as her probing deeper into specific decisions or showing Cheney's physical reactions (e.g., pauses, sweat, or evasive eye contact) to make the dialogue more tense and revealing, transforming it from a monologue into a genuine confrontation.
  • Incorporate visual flashbacks or quick cuts to key events from earlier scenes during Cheney's speech (e.g., 9/11 footage, torture scenes, or family moments) to illustrate his points and add layers of irony, helping to show rather than tell the consequences and making the scene more engaging and thematically rich.
  • Refine Cheney's dialogue to include subtle hints of internal conflict or rationalization, such as a brief moment of hesitation or a reference to personal losses, to add depth and make him a more compelling character, balancing the satire with humanity without undermining the critical portrayal.
  • Extend the pacing slightly by adding a reaction shot or a pause after Cheney's emotional peak to allow the audience to absorb the impact, and integrate the on-screen text more fluidly, perhaps as intercuts during the dialogue, to maintain narrative flow and emotional continuity.
  • Strengthen ties to the previous scene by referencing Cheney's health or family dynamics (e.g., a line about his heart or a subtle nod to Mary), creating a smoother transition and reinforcing the theme of personal legacy, which would make the scene feel more connected to the overall arc.
  • Experiment with more cinematic techniques, such as varying camera angles, close-ups on Cheney's face during key lines, or symbolic visuals (e.g., shadows or empty chairs) to heighten visual interest and underscore the isolation of his position, making the scene more dynamic and aligned with the film's style.



Scene 36 -  Chaos in the Focus Group
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. FOCUS GROUP ROOM - DAY

Our FOCUS GROUP LEADER in front of the group again.

TERRI
Sorry to interrupt but Mark had
something he wanted to share...

Guy in the Bucs jersey (Mark).

MARK
Yeah, something’s been bothering me
this whole movie and I just figured
it out. This whole thing is
liberal. It’s got a liberal bias.

TERRI
Interesting. Does anyone else feel
this way?

Two other hands go up.

TURNER
This is all facts. I mean, they had
to vet all this, right?

MARK
You would say that, libtard!
105.


TURNER
So because I have the ability to
understand facts, that makes me a
liberal?

TERRI
Guys let’s lower our voices.

MARK
You probably like Killary!

TERRI
Let’s take it down a notch or two
ok?

TURNER MARK
Ok, first of all, Hillary’s Chicken shit!
not President! Ok, the
orange cheeto that you hired
is the President. And he’s
ruining the country that you
claim to love!

Mark lunges for Turner. The fight. People jump up and break
them apart. A Young Woman screams.

FAST AND FURIOUS GIRL
I can’t wait to see the new FAST
AND THE FURIOUS MOVIE. That looks
lit!

CUT TO BLACK:


THE END
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Satire"]

Summary In the final scene, a focus group discussion spirals into chaos when participant Mark accuses the movie of having a liberal bias, igniting a heated argument with Turner, who defends the film. Insults fly, leading to a physical altercation that is interrupted by other participants. Amidst the turmoil, a young woman screams, and the scene abruptly shifts to the Fast and Furious Girl excitedly discussing the new movie, ending with a cut to black.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict portrayal
  • Realistic dialogue
  • Effective tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Stereotypical insults
  • Sudden physical altercation
Critique
  • The scene serves as a meta-commentary on the film's themes of political polarization and media bias, which is a clever way to end a satirical biopic about Dick Cheney. However, the rapid escalation from a calm discussion to a physical fight feels abrupt and unearned, lacking the buildup that could make the conflict more believable and emotionally resonant. This haste undermines the scene's potential to reinforce the film's critique of societal divisions, as it comes across as cartoonish rather than a poignant reflection of real-world arguments.
  • The dialogue is overly reliant on stereotypical insults like 'libtard' and 'chicken shit,' which may alienate viewers by reducing complex issues to simplistic name-calling. While this could be intentional to highlight the toxicity of online discourse, it lacks nuance and depth, failing to engage with the film's factual basis or provoke thoughtful reflection. As a result, the exchange feels more like a parody of internet arguments than a sophisticated conclusion to the narrative.
  • As the final scene, it attempts to bookend the film's exploration of truth, power, and public perception but falls short in providing thematic closure. The accusation of liberal bias directly addresses potential criticisms of the movie, but it's not fully developed, leaving the audience without a clear resolution to the overarching story. This could confuse viewers, especially after the intense emotional beats in scene 35, where Cheney defends his legacy, making this shift to a focus group feel disjointed and anticlimactic.
  • The introduction of minor characters like Mark, Turner, and the Fast and Furious Girl without prior context or development makes their actions seem arbitrary. For instance, the sudden lunge into a fight and the unrelated exclamation about a different movie disrupt the flow and don't effectively tie into the film's narrative arc. This lack of character grounding weakens the scene's impact, as these figures come across as stock archetypes rather than integral parts of the story.
  • The tonal shift at the end, from heated conflict to an absurd, lighthearted comment about the Fast and Furious movie, is jarring and may dilute the film's serious message. While this could be aiming for dark humor or irony to comment on societal distractions, it risks undermining the gravity of the preceding scenes, such as the war casualties and personal regrets highlighted in scene 35. Overall, the ending feels unresolved, leaving viewers with a chaotic impression rather than a satisfying or thought-provoking conclusion.
  • In the context of the entire screenplay, this scene echoes earlier elements like focus groups in scene 27, which were used to show manipulation of public opinion. However, it doesn't evolve or build on these motifs effectively, resulting in a repetitive feel. The cut to black after the absurdity might intend to mirror the unpredictability of life or media consumption, but it lacks the emotional weight needed to cap off a film that deals with heavy topics like war, torture, and family legacy.
Suggestions
  • Extend the scene to build tension more gradually, perhaps by having the focus group discussion start with more nuanced points about the film's content, allowing the argument to escalate naturally and giving characters time to express their views in a way that feels authentic and tied to the story.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it more intelligent and reflective, incorporating specific references to events from the film (e.g., Cheney's decisions or the narrator's role) to deepen the meta-commentary and encourage audience reflection, rather than relying on generic insults.
  • Strengthen thematic closure by connecting the focus group debate back to the film's core themes, such as the dangers of misinformation or political division, perhaps through a narrator voice-over or a visual callback to earlier scenes, ensuring the ending feels cohesive and provides a clear takeaway.
  • Develop the focus group characters slightly more by adding brief establishing details or backstories in the scene (e.g., through subtle actions or props), making their reactions more relatable and earned, which could heighten the emotional impact of the conflict.
  • Reconsider the tonal shift at the end; if the absurdity is intentional, amplify its purpose by linking it explicitly to the film's satire (e.g., via a line about how pop culture distracts from real issues), or explore alternative endings that offer more resolution, such as a return to the narrator or a symbolic image of Cheney to bookend the story effectively.
  • Ensure the scene's humor and chaos serve the narrative by testing it against the film's overall tone; if the goal is to end on a note of irony, balance it with elements from scene 35's seriousness to maintain continuity and provide a stronger emotional arc for the audience.