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Scene 1 -  The LSAT Heist
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
A Legal Mind




Written by

Aaron Korsh




Sixth Revised Network Draft
December 3rd, 2009
A Legal Mind 1.


ACT ONE

INT. LSAT TESTING FACILITY - AFTERNOON

We open on a sign in large letters, “30 MINUTES LEFT.” As a
hand replaces “30” with “15;” REVEAL a large room filled with
college students furiously racing to finish the LSAT test.

We pan across to the one figure who seems unfazed. MIKE ROSS
(Mets hat, short-hair, glasses, goatee) has already finished
and is doodling on the back of the test.

Mike notices a PROCTOR walk by, looking at him curiously. He
quickly turns the test over and pretends to nervously work on
it. We speed up time as the “MINUTES LEFT” sign goes from
“10” to “5” to 4,3,2,1. Finally the proctor yells:

PROCTOR
Time’s up. Pencils down.

Mike blends in with the students and tosses his test on the
pile. As he leaves, the proctor moves the pile to the side,
leaving Mike’s test on top, then he taps Mike from behind.

PROCTOR
Excuse me. Do I know you from somewhere?

We see anxiety momentarily cross Mike’s face. He swallows,
then turns around to see the Proctor looking at him intently.

MIKE
I don’t think so. I have a very good
memory for faces.

The Proctor shrugs, he must be wrong. Mike walks away. The
Proctor hesitates, thinks to himself, then turns to pick up
Mike’s test; the pile’s knocked over, no way to tell which is
the one he wants. He turns back; no Mike. He yells...

PROCTOR
Hey!

He fights through a group of students to get out the door...

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE LSAT TEST - CONTINUOUS

Mike’s just outside the door. He breaks into a run around
the corner to a door at the end of the hall. No good, jammed
with students, he won’t have time to get through. As he runs
to his right, he trips over a GUY WEARING A METS SHIRT.
A Legal Mind 2.


INT. LSAT TEST FACILITY/HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

The proctor bursts through the throng of students and runs to
the door where Mike just was. He sees Mike from behind. He
grabs him, turns him around... it’s not Mike. The guy with
the Mets shirt is now wearing Mike’s Met’s cap. The proctor
looks down the hall, sees a men’s room and runs toward it.

INT. MEN’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Mike is in a stall. Without his Mets cap, his hair comes
down to his shoulders. He quickly removes his glasses and
the fake goatee he had on and flushes them. He exits the
stall, looking 100% different than he did seconds ago...

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE MEN’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

A transformed Mike walks back down the hall with confidence.
He doesn’t break stride as the proctor runs by without even
noticing his existence. A small smile crosses his face...

INT. A SMALL APARTMENT - LATER

Mike knocks on the door of an apartment. It opens. The
YOUNG MAN looks exactly like Mike did at the LSAT’s. Short
hair, glasses, goatee. Mike returns his driver’s license.

MIKE
Here.

YOUNG MAN
What did you get me?

MIKE
What I said I was going to... a 158.
YOUNG MAN
I told you I wanted a 175.

MIKE
And I told you only one out of hundred
people can score that. You’re a B-minus
student who got a thousand on the SAT’s.
I get you a 175 they’ll know you cheated.

YOUNG MAN
So only a genius loser can get a 175?

MIKE
Actually, I’d get a 180. Now, can I have
my money please?

The Young Man hands Mike a wad of cash. Mike counts it.
A Legal Mind 3.


MIKE
This is only half.

YOUNG MAN
Then why don’t you go call the police?

The Young Man slams the door in Mike’s face.

EXT. MANHATTAN SKYLINE - 9:00 PM

We pan across the water to the facade of a gorgeous office
complex at the southern tip of the city. The offices in the
building are all dark. Except one. We ZOOM IN:

INT. STATE OF THE ART CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Two highly paid teams of LAWYERS SCREAM across the sleekest
conference table ever made. A young lawyer, LOUIS LITT, (33,
slick, arrogant) quietly exits.

INT. HALLWAY/KATHERINE PEARSON’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Louis is in the doorway of, “Katherine Pearson, Managing
Partner.” Louis knocks. Katherine (50’s, distinguished)
doesn’t look up.

LOUIS
We have a problem. The deal’s falling
apart.

KATHERINE
Go get Harvey.

INT. PARK AVENUE CONDOMINIUM - SAME
Five well-heeled men play poker in the most expensive condo
in Manhattan. CLOSE ON HARVEY SPECTER, 42, with Clooney
looks. He’s fit, confident, takes pride in being well-
dressed. He watches as the river card is turned... A GREY
HAIRED MAN smiles at Harvey as he pushes in his chips.

GREY HAIR
Raise fifty thousand.

HARVEY
I’m all in.

Harvey smiles back as he pushes a stack of chips three times
the size of Grey Hair’s bet into the pot.

INT. KATHERINE PEARSON’S OFFICE - SAME

Katherine is still at her desk. Louis knocks again.
A Legal Mind 4.


LOUIS
Gerald Tate is here. He wants to know
what’s happening to his deal.

KATHERINE
Louis, didn’t I tell you to get Harvey?

LOUIS
Trust me, I can handle Gerald Tate.

Katherine looks up as if noticing Louis for the first time.

KATHERINE
No. You can’t.
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Mike Ross, a brilliant college dropout, takes the LSAT for others for money. After finishing the test, he must outsmart a suspicious proctor and make a quick getaway.
Strengths "Engaging plot with witty dialogue and a humorous twist on the traditional heist story structure"
Weaknesses "Some characters lack depth and emotional impact is limited"
Critique There are several things that could be improved in this scene. Firstly, the opening scene of the LSAT test doesn't establish the story or characters enough to keep the audience interested. A better approach would be to open with a more character-driven opening, such as Mike in a difficult situation that introduces his personality and values.

Secondly, the dialogue feels clunky and not natural enough. It could be improved by focusing on more character-driven dialogue that serves to reveal character rather than simply move the plot along.

Finally, there are several improbable plot points, such as Mike changing his appearance to avoid being caught and the Young Man slamming the door in Mike's face without paying in full. These plot points could be reworked to make the story feel more realistic and grounded in reality.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions for improving this scene:

1. Establish the stakes: The LSAT scene is a good opportunity to establish the stakes for Mike. What is at risk for him if he gets caught cheating? Is he trying to get into law school? Is he doing this to pay off debts? Be clear on what he stands to lose.

2. Make the action more dynamic: The LSAT scene could benefit from a stronger sense of urgency and tension. Consider ramping up the soundtrack or adding some visceral sound effects to convey the high stakes and adrenaline-fueled nature of the moment.

3. Condense the exposition: The scene where Mike meets the young man could be tightened up. Try to communicate the necessary information in as few lines as possible, and consider cutting or rephrasing some of the dialogue to make it more efficient.

4. Clarify the characters' motivations: Louis' actions in this scene are somewhat confusing. Is he trying to undermine Harvey by handling the Tate deal himself, or is he just overconfident? Make his motivations and intentions clearer.

5. Develop Harvey's character: In this scene, Harvey comes off as somewhat one-dimensional. Try to add some depth to the character by hinting at his backstory, his personality quirks, or his motivations beyond winning at poker. This will make him more interesting to watch and help establish his character arc for the rest of the story.



Scene 2 -  Harvey Closes a Deal
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 6
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. PARK AVENUE CONDOMINIUM - SAME

Harvey and Grey Hair are where we left them.

HARVEY
The problem is, if you call, I’m going to
turn over two aces, and you’ll lose.

GREY HAIR
Yeah, yeah. And if I fold, you’ll show
me the bluff and it’ll kill me.

HARVEY
If you fold, I’m not showing you anything.

A beat. Grey Hair pushes his chips in. Harvey throws his
cards down, revealing two aces...

HARVEY
That’s two hundred thousand.
(reads a text message, then)
You can pay me later... I’ve got to go.

INT. KATHERINE PEARSON’S OFFICE - 10:00 PM

GERALD TATE (55, street smart, ex-prize fighter) yells at
Katherine. Harvey saunters in unnoticed in his $4,000 suit.

GERALD
I don’t care who’s on his way. I’m
paying you millions, and you’re telling
me I’m going to get screwed?!

HARVEY
Katherine, have I come at a bad time?

She cracks a smile. The cavalry is here. She hands Harvey a
stack of deal memos. Harvey proceeds to examine them.
A Legal Mind 5.


KATHERINE
Gerald, I’d like you to meet Harvey
Specter. He’s our best attorney.

GERALD
If you’re their best attorney, where the
hell have you been the last three hours?

A moment. Harvey speaks calmly while scanning the memos.

HARVEY
Well, Gerald, I specialize in troubled
situations. And when I left here at 7:00
PM this deal wasn’t in jeopardy. So,
what I’m trying to do now is understand
what happened in the interim.

GERALD
We keep raising the price and they keep
rejecting it. It’s last minute bad faith
bullshit.

Harvey ignores Gerald and continues scanning.

HARVEY
It says here Cooper’s no longer staying
on as honorary Vice President.

GERALD
That’s right. I don’t want him around.

HARVEY
He... wouldn’t be around. It’s an
honorary position.
GERALD
I don’t give a crap.

Harvey puts the memo down and looks Gerald in the eye.

HARVEY
I think you do. Because that’s what
changed since I left. Which means it’s
you who’s been dealing in bad faith.

GERALD
Well, now that you’ve gotten a handle on
what’s happened in the God damn interim,
what are you going to do about it?
Because he’s not getting that title.

Harvey casually pours a glass of water.
A Legal Mind 6.


HARVEY
Let me just make sure I understand. We
negotiated a deal that got you everything
you wanted. Mr. Cooper signed it. And
now you won’t close until we take away
the last shred of his dignity?

GERALD
Bingo.

HARVEY
Well, that’s not going to happen.

He offers the water. Gerald looks at it with contempt, then:

GERALD
Why the hell not?

HARVEY
Because I like Mr. Cooper. And my firm
doesn’t operate in bad faith.

Harvey drinks the water himself.

GERALD
How I see it is, instead of working
Cooper, you’re working me. So take your
faggoty attitude back in there and make
him sign my deal or I’ll pay someone else
your money to do it for me.

HARVEY
First of all, Gerald, if you think anyone
is gonna touch this deal after your bad
faith, you’re mistaken. Second, the way
our agreement works is the minute Cooper
signed the deal that gave you everything
you wanted, our fee was due and payable.

Harvey reaches into his jacket pocket.

HARVEY
Which is why at 7:30, I received
confirmation of a wire transfer from
escrow indicating payment in full.

He removes a fax.

HARVEY
I would say the ball’s in your court, but
the truth is your balls are in my fist.
I apologize if that image is too faggoty
for you, but I’m comfortable enough with
my manhood to put it out there.
A Legal Mind 7.


Harvey holds out the fax to Gerald, who is dumbstruck.

HARVEY
Now get your ass in there and close this
God damn deal.

GERALD
(to Katherine)
You let him talk to me like this?

KATHERINE
Harvey speaks for the firm.

Gerald exits the office. Katherine leans in to Harvey.

KATHERINE
We got paid before Gerald signed the
deal?

HARVEY
This is a memo about some fire drill on
Tuesday. By the way, you’re blue team
captain. You get to wear a fire hat.
Genres: ["Drama","Legal Drama"]

Summary Harvey Specter enters Katherine's office in the middle of a heated argument between her and Gerald Tate. Tate accuses Pearson of putting his company's deal in jeopardy and Specter must step in to save the day. He ends up uncovering some shady tactics by Tate and uses the leverage to close the deal.
Strengths
  • Strong dialogue
  • Tense confrontational atmosphere
  • Harvey's quick thinking and outsmarting of opponents
Weaknesses
  • Some legal jargon may be confusing for viewers who are not familiar with the industry
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written with good dialogue and tension. The characters are established clearly, and there is a definite conflict between them.

One small critique would be that the poker game at the beginning seems a bit unnecessary and doesn't add much to the overall story. It could be cut without affecting the rest of the scene.

Another point is that the introduction of Gerald Tate feels a bit sudden and could benefit from a little more build-up of his character before he enters the scene.

However, these are minor critiques, and overall, the scene is engaging and well-written.
Suggestions Overall, the scene has good dialogue and strong character interactions, but there are a few suggestions for improvement:

1. Clarity: There are a few moments where the dialogue is unclear, particularly when Harvey reads the text message and when he first enters Katherine's office. Clarifying these moments can help the audience follow the story more easily.

2. Pacing: The scene is a bit long, with a lot of back-and-forth between Gerald and Harvey. Tightening up the dialogue and cutting repetitive comments can help the scene flow more smoothly.

3. Action: The scene is mostly dialogue-driven, but adding some physical actions can enhance the drama and keep the audience engaged. For example, perhaps Harvey pours himself a drink or paces the room while he talks.

4. Conflict: The conflict between Gerald and Harvey is clear, but it might help to raise the stakes even further. Is there a way to add a ticking clock or a bigger consequence if the deal doesn't go through? Finding a way to heighten the drama can make the scene more compelling.



Scene 3 -  The Dealer Proposition
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. TREVOR STEVENS’ CONDOMINIUM - CONTINUOUS

Leather couch, plasma TV, weed on the table; this is the pad
of a bachelor with serious disposable income. TREVOR, clean
cut, 22, suit and tie, takes a bite of a cheeseburger and
savors it. Mike looks at the bong, shakes his head to
himself and then turns to Trevor...

MIKE
I’ve got to get my shit together.
TREVOR
This is the best cheeseburger I’ve ever
had in my life.

MIKE
It’s from Monday. Trevor, I’m serious.
I almost got caught today, then my client
stiffed me for half. I’m sick of this
life. I’ve gotta stop getting stoned and
get my act together.

TREVOR
Dude, look at me. You can bake up and
still be a success.

MIKE
You sell pot for a living.
A Legal Mind 8.


TREVOR
It still saps the motivation. Look, all
I’m saying is, you want in, you are in.

MIKE
That’s basically your offer before I got
caught cheating on your math test in
third grade.

TREVOR
Goddamn memory.

MIKE
And by the way, it’s your offer on every
shady thing you’ve gotten me involved in.

TREVOR
How was I supposed to know that chick was
the dean’s daughter? Look, nobody’s ever
going to suspect you’re a dealer.

Trevor indicates his clean cut image and suit and tie.

TREVOR
Look at me. This is a two-thousand
dollar suit, I’ve got twelve of them.

Trevor starts counting on his fingers.

TREVOR
I have an office, I take on real software
projects, my clients wear suits... They
give me briefcases of cash, I give them
identical briefcases with vacuum sealed
bud. I’m telling you, hide in plain
sight... oldest trick in the book.

MIKE
So what do you need me for?

TREVOR
I leave town tomorrow, I’ve got a client
coming in wants to meet at the Ritz. I
need somebody I trust to make the drop.
It’s totally safe. Come on, help me out.

MIKE
You know, one stands a greater chance of
dying while dealing drugs than on death
row in Texas. Which begs the question:
why would anyone deal drugs?

TREVOR
What are you talking about?
A Legal Mind 9.


MIKE
It’s from “Freakonomics,” which I suggest
you read. But whether you do or you
don’t, you’ll have to find someone else,
because I’m not interested.

JENNY (O.S.)
Not interested in what?

JENNY GRIFFITH, Trevor’s girlfriend, has entered the condo
without them noticing. She’s 22, dresses like a student, and
has no idea that Trevor deals pot. Trevor is defensive.

TREVOR
What are you doing here? I thought you
were sleeping at your place tonight.

JENNY
(what he should have said)
Hey, sweetie, what a pleasant surprise.
I’m so glad you stopped by.

She kisses Trevor then turns to Mike.

JENNY
Not interested in what?

Mike and Trevor share a look, “What should we say?”

MIKE
Trevor’s trying to set me up.

JENNY
(covering)
That’s terrific. Who’s the lucky girl?
TREVOR
I was trying to get him to work for me.

JENNY
(brightening)
That’s a great idea. It would take some
stress off of Trevor. And you’d pick up
writing code like you do everything else.

MIKE
I’m gonna take off. I’ve got to get up
early to see my grandmother.

As Mike heads out, Jenny squeezes his hand.
Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Comedy"]

Summary Trevor tries to convince Mike to work with him, but Mike is hesitant about the drug business. They are interrupted by Trevor's girlfriend, who unknowingly helps cover for them.
Strengths
  • Funny dialogue and banter
  • Interesting concept for dealing drugs
  • Engaging characters
Weaknesses
  • Lack of high stakes and tension
Critique Overall, this scene does a decent job of establishing the characters and their relationships. However, there are some areas for improvement.

First, the dialogue feels a bit on the nose at times, especially when Mike and Trevor discuss Mike's desire to turn his life around. The dialogue could benefit from a bit more subtlety and subtext.

Additionally, the scene could use more visual description to bring the setting to life and add more dimension to the scene.

Finally, there is a missed opportunity for conflict when Jenny enters the scene. It would be interesting to see more tension and stakes play out in this interaction, rather than the scene ending on a relatively light note.

Overall, the scene has promise, but could be improved with more nuance and attention to detail.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions for improving this scene:

1. Develop the character of Jenny more: At the moment, Jenny feels like a plot device rather than a fully-realized character. Consider giving her more personality and backstory so that the audience cares about her and is invested in her interactions with Trevor and Mike.

2. Raise the stakes: The conversation between Trevor and Mike isn't particularly dramatic or tense. Consider adding in more conflict or urgency to make the scene more engaging.

3. Show, don't tell: The dialogue in this scene is very exposition-heavy, with characters explaining their motivations and backstory to each other in a way that feels unnatural. Consider finding ways to communicate this information through actions and visuals rather than dialogue.

4. Add more description: While the scene does provide some basic details about the setting and characters, it could benefit from more specific description to help the audience visualize what's happening. Consider adding in details about the lighting, camera angles, and other visual elements to create a clearer picture of the scene.



Scene 4 -  Morning After
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. MANHATTAN UPSCALE BAR - LATER THAT NIGHT

Harvey and Katherine sit surrounded by beautiful people.
A Legal Mind 10.


KATHERINE
By the way, I’ve set up a meeting with
you and John Dockery next week.

HARVEY
Dockery? He’s Skadden’s biggest client.

KATHERINE
Not anymore. He’s looking around. He’s
asked us to do a preliminary evaluation
of his corporate structure and assess
where he’s vulnerable to a takeover. I
want you to charm him and close him.

HARVEY
Consider it done.

A stunning WAITRESS approaches with their drinks. As
Katherine takes hers, she indicates Harvey to the waitress.

KATHERINE
Miss, you are looking at the best closer
this city has ever seen.

HARVEY
(to waitress, not embarrassed)
Katherine, please you’re embarrassing me.

WAITRESS
Closer, huh? Baseball?

HARVEY
Attorney. I close situations.

WAITRESS
So all you care about is money?

HARVEY
The truth is... I do it for the children.

WAITRESS
Handsome, wealthy, and funny... what do
you think you’re some kind of super hero?

HARVEY
I don’t like to toot my own horn. I feel
that question is best answered by one of
the many people whose lives I’ve saved.

She laughs.

WAITRESS
I’m Lisa.
A Legal Mind 11.


HARVEY
Harvey.

LISA
Well, Harvey, I don’t usually do this,
but I’m off in ten minutes. You want to
take me out for a drink?

HARVEY
Your timing couldn’t be more perfect.
Katherine here was just leaving.

Katherine is just starting to sip her full drink.

INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - NEXT MORNING

The unit’s barely larger than the table at the law firm.
Mike is asleep on a pullout that takes up the entire place.
An alarm rings. Mike hits snooze and goes back to sleep.

INT. EXQUISITE WEST END TOWN HOME - SAME

Katherine is eating an early breakfast with her mentor,
PHILLIP, a distinguished man in his seventies. His elegantly
appointed home resembles the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

KATHERINE
...point is I can see myself stepping
down as senior partner in five years.

PHILLIP
Seems like it’s only been ten minutes
since I handed the reins to you.

KATHERINE
It hasn’t. Time just moves a lot faster
when you’re a hundred and sixty.

She smiles. There’s a pause...

PHILLIP
What’s the matter?

KATHERINE
How did you know I was your successor?

PHILLIP
The truth? My gut. It told me you were
the only one with the balls for the job.

KATHERINE
That’s what I was afraid you were going
to say. My gut tells me it’s Harvey.
But my heart tells me he’s not ready.
A Legal Mind 12.


PHILLIP
What’s he missing?

KATHERINE
Compassion.

PHILLIP
Makes sense. The killer instinct that
makes him a great lawyer is what concerns
you about making him senior partner.

KATHERINE
Exactly. If the leader of a firm doesn’t
care about the people who work for him or
the clients he represents... there won’t
be much of a firm left to lead.

Phillip refills her coffee.

PHILLIP
You know, you weren’t completely ready.
And he does have some years to learn.

KATHERINE
But compassion. I’m not sure you can
learn that.

PHILLIP
What are you going to do about it?

KATHERINE
What would you do about it?

PHILLIP
A man’s missing compassion? I’d shove
it down his throat.

KATHERINE
How?

PHILLIP
I imagine the opportunity will present
itself.

INT. HARVEY’S BEDROOM - SAME

Expansive, overlooking Central Park... if this bedroom were
an apartment, it’d go for $7,000 a month. Harvey leans over
a sleeping Lisa, the waitress from the night before and gives
her a kiss. She looks at the time.

HARVEY
Lisa, this was lovely, but it’s time to
go. I need to be in the office by 7:30.
A Legal Mind 13.


LISA
Can’t we hang out a little? I can make
you some breakfast.

HARVEY
As tempting as that sounds, I’m afraid I
hate to miss a workout, and I really want
to get into the office before 7:30.

LISA
That’s too bad. I was thinking maybe you
could eat it off my stomach.

She pulls her shirt up. Harvey takes in her fantastic body.

HARVEY
I guess if I skip the gym, I can still
get in by nine.
Genres: ["legal drama","romance"]

Summary Harvey juggles his personal and professional life while Katherine struggles with the decision to make Harvey senior partner.
Strengths "The scene does a good job of establishing Harvey's playboy lifestyle juxtaposed with Katherine's more serious concerns about the firm. The witty banter between Harvey and Lisa is memorable."
Weaknesses "There is little in the way of significant plot development, and the scene is primarily focused on character development and establishment."
Critique Overall, this scene flows well and engages the audience with witty banter and a touch of comedy. The dialogue feels natural and suits the characters. The introduction of potential conflict in Katherine's concern for Harvey's lack of compassion adds depth to the characters and plot. However, some action descriptions could be more detailed, especially in the morning scenes. Additionally, some aspects, such as the stereotypical portrayal of the attractive waitress, could be improved to avoid cliches. But overall, this scene shows potential in setting up future conflicts and character development.
Suggestions 1. Make the scene more visually interesting by using setting and actions to enhance the dialogue and character development. For example, add more description to the bar setting and the actions of the characters to give more depth and create a more immersive experience for the audience.

2. Increase the tension and conflict in the scene by adding more stakes and obstacles for the characters to overcome. For example, make it more difficult for Harvey to win over Dockery, or add some personal conflict between Harvey and Katherine.

3. Develop the characters more fully by giving them more distinct personalities and motivations. For example, make Katherine more complex and conflicted about her feelings towards Harvey, or give Harvey a more interesting backstory.

4. Consider the pacing of the scene and whether it needs to be tightened up or slowed down. For example, the dialogue could be shortened or expanded to fit the pacing of the film.

5. Make the dialogue more natural and realistic by using more subtext and giving the characters more room to interact with each other emotionally. For example, instead of having Katherine just tell Harvey what she wants him to do, have her express her concerns and fears about the future of the firm, or about Harvey's lack of compassion.



Scene 5 -  Family Matters
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. NURSING HOME HALLWAY/MIKE’S GRANDMOTHER’S ROOM - LATER

Mike walks with the head physician at his grandmother’s
nursing home, DOCTOR SHRAGER. She’s a kindly, older woman.

DOCTOR SHRAGER
Your grandmother’s getting worse. I need
to move her to full care, or I’ll have to
transfer her to a state facility.

MIKE
I won’t put her in a state facility.

DOCTOR SHRAGER
Then you’ll have to come up with $10,000.
MIKE
Then I will.

They stop outside a room. Shrager pats Mike affectionately,
then exits. Mike’s GRANDMOTHER (75, frail) is reading. He
approaches her. They hug. Mike sees her meds on the table.

MIKE
I hear you’re not taking your pills.

GRAMMY
Because they’re trying to poison me.

MIKE
That’s nonsense. Doctor Shrager assured
me she wouldn’t poison you until January
at the earliest. She reached this year’s
quota, and if she does it before January,
she can’t count it as a 2009 poisoning.
A Legal Mind 14.


She eyes Mike suspiciously, then takes the pills.

MIKE
Now what did I teach you?

She and Mike tap fists.

GRAMMY
Michael, I’m worried about you. I’m not
going to be around forever, and -- I want
you to stop with that... stuff.

MIKE
You... know about that?

GRAMMY
I’ve got early stage Alzheimer’s, I’m not
an idiot. I know life’s been hard for
you, and you went looking for comfort.
But comfort has consequences. You’re not
a kid anymore. I want you to promise
you’ll start living up to your potential.

MIKE
I promise.

She takes her book and starts reading. Mike sees the book is
upside down. He tears up and walks out.

INT. KATHERINE’S OFFICE/HALLWAY - 9:30 AM

Harvey enters to see Katherine and Louis.

LOUIS
9:30. Nice of you to join us, Harvey.
And I see you’re dressed like a pimp.

HARVEY
My bad, Louis, I was out late after the
huge deal I closed for the firm last
night, and when I woke up, this was the
suit your wife picked out for me.

Harvey casually takes a sip of his coffee.

KATHERINE
Moving along. Harvey, interviews are set
up at the Ritz tomorrow.

HARVEY
What? Why didn’t we just hire that
Harvard summer intern douche?
A Legal Mind 15.


KATHERINE
I think if you listen to the phrasing of
that question, you’ll come up with the
answer.

HARVEY
What do you expect from Harvard? Book
smarts, no street smarts. We need people
with balls who can think on their feet,
not another clone with a rod up his ass.

LOUIS
Harvey, the fact that we only hire from
Harvard gives us a cache that’s more
valuable than a kid from SUNY Binghamton.

Harvey indicates that he can’t hear...

HARVEY
Louis, if you’re going to talk out of
your ass, you have to remove the rod.

KATHERINE
You went to Harvard Law.

HARVEY
I’m an exception.

KATHERINE
Then find another one.

HARVEY
Then let me skip the recruiting. I work
alone anyway.
KATHERINE
I would, Harvey, but all partners get an
associate. It’s just a rule.

Louis, caught off-guard turns to Katherine heatedly.

LOUIS
What? I deserve that partnership. I run
the lower level associates, my billable
hours destroy his and I am here night and
day doing whatever’s asked of me instead
of swanning in and out whenever I please.

HARVEY
I have to admit, he does make me sound
very swan-like.
A Legal Mind 16.


LOUIS
Watch it, Harvey. You’re not partner
yet, and I’ve been an attorney here two
years longer than you.

HARVEY
Yet the only skill you’ve developed is
kissing Katherine’s ass.

KATHERINE
Harvey, you won, shut up. Louis, this is
how it is. Now you two make nice.

HARVEY
Louis, I’m sorry. I was out of line with
the ass-kissing comment and I apologize.

Harvey holds his hand out. Louis reluctantly shakes it.

HARVEY
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to call
your wife and tell her the man she loves
just made partner.
(off Katherine’s disapproval)
What? Too far? Come on, it’s my way of
showing there’s no hard feelings.

INT. NURSING HOME HALLWAY/LOBBY - MOMENTS LATER

Mike walks through the hallways. He dials his cell. Then:

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
Trevor, I’m in. One time deal, I want
twenty-five. Take it or leave it.
INT. DRUG DEALER’S LIVING ROOM - NEW JERSEY - SAME

Trevor’s with THREE WELL-DRESSED MEN holding weapons.
They’re surrounded by briefcases filled with cash and
marijuana. Intercut Trevor and Mike.

TREVOR (INTO PHONE)
I’ll take it. There’s a briefcase in my
room with the stuff, pick it up tomorrow.
But you can’t take it into a luxury hotel
looking like a delivery guy. So you need
to shave, get a haircut and buy a suit.

MIKE (INTO PHONE)
That’s a hell of a lot to ask.

TREVOR (INTO PHONE)
I’m not just asking you. I’m paying you
twenty-five thousand dollars.
A Legal Mind 17.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Mike struggles with his grandmother's illness and drug dealing while Harvey deals with internal office issues.
Strengths "Strong character development and interpersonal relationships"
Weaknesses "No major weaknesses found"
Critique There are a few issues with this scene.

Firstly, there is a lack of context and purpose. It is unclear what the overall story or message of this scene is meant to be and how it fits into the larger narrative. Additionally, the dialogue and actions of the characters are somewhat clichéd and predictable, making it difficult for them to come across as unique or memorable.

There are also some inconsistencies in character behavior and motivation. For example, Mike seems to care deeply about his grandmother and want the best for her, but he is also involved in illegal activities such as drug dealing. This makes it difficult for the audience to understand or empathize with his character.

Another issue is the lack of visual description and detail. For example, it is unclear what the nursing home hallway and the drug dealer's living room look like. This can make it difficult for the audience to become fully immersed in the scene and understand the setting and atmosphere.

Overall, more focus is needed on character development, context, and description in order to make this scene more impactful and meaningful.
Suggestions Some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Start with a clearer hook: There should be a more engaging reason for the scene to exist. Maybe Mike is desperately trying to save his grandmother from being transferred, or he needs money for some other pressing reason. The current reason for the scene (moving his grandmother to full care) doesn't seem urgent enough to justify its inclusion.

2. Strengthen conflicts: There are some mild conflicts in the scene (e.g. Mike's grandmother not wanting to take her pills), but they could be made more substantial. For example, Mike could be torn between wanting to help his grandmother and not being able to afford the cost of her care. Or, he could be conflicted about getting involved in a drug deal to make money.

3. Develop characters: The characters need more depth and backstory to make the scene compelling. We don't know enough about Mike's grandmother to care about her, and the other characters are mostly one-dimensional. For example, Louis could have a more complex motivation for wanting the partnership, or Trevor could have a more complicated relationship with Mike.

4. Improve dialogue: The dialogue could be sharper and more unique to each character. For example, Mike's grandmother could have a more distinct voice, or Trevor could have more specific demands for Mike's appearance.

5. Integrate action: The scene is mostly dialogue, so it could benefit from more physical action. Maybe Mike is pacing while on the phone with Trevor, or Louis is fidgeting with something on his desk. Adding physical details can make the scene feel more real and engaging.



Scene 6 -  Interviews and Deals
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE HARVEY’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Harvey approaches his career-long secretary, DONNA. She’s in
her 30’s, good-looking, and would take a bullet for Harvey.

HARVEY
Donna, clear my day tomorrow. You and I
are hiring a new associate.

DONNA
Done.

Harvey checks to make sure no one’s looking. Then, quietly:

HARVEY
Does this suit make me look like a pimp?

Donna holds out her palm, indicating maybe.

INT. DRUG DEALER’S LIVING ROOM - NEW JERSEY - SAME

Trevor hangs up the phone and turns to the main dealer.

TREVOR
He’s in. I’m gonna grab a beer.

Trevor exits. The main dealer turns to an underling.

DEALER #1
Good. In twenty four hours we’ll know if
this new buyer’s a cop.

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE DRUG DEALER’S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Trevor turns back around -- he forgot something. He hears...
DEALER #2 (O.S.)
Why didn’t you tell Trevor he might be
sending the guy into set up?

DEALER #1 (O.S.)
Same reason I don’t tell Gina I’m bangin’
her sister. It’ll only cause trouble...

The dealer and his cronies laugh. Trevor’s face falls as
Dealer #1 comes around the corner. Trevor smiles weakly...

TREVOR
I was just thinking I should get going.

DEALER #1
No. You shouldn’t.

END OF ACT ONE
A Legal Mind 18.


ACT TWO

INT. TREVOR STEVENS’ CONDOMINIUM - NEXT MORNING

Mike, clean cut and wearing a suit, grabs the briefcase and
heads for the door. Jenny enters. Mike is startled.

MIKE
You scared the hell out of me.

JENNY
Sorry. Look at you. You look great.
Tell me you decided to work with Trevor.

MIKE
Trial basis. What are you doing here?

JENNY
Wanna hear something ridiculous? My mom
is coming by my place later and I don’t
want to mess it up, so I’m hanging here.

MIKE
That’s not so bad.

JENNY
That’s not the ridiculous part. After I
finish scouring the place for her visit,
I sprinkle a tee-ny bit of crumbs around.

MIKE
Why?

JENNY
Because I don’t want her to think I scour
the place just for her visit.

MIKE
That is ridiculous.

JENNY
I know. That’s what I just said.

Mike and Jenny share a smile. He starts out, she stops him.

JENNY
You want to look perfect your first day.

Jenny fixes Mike’s tie, it’s very intimate. She finishes,
noticing he’s staring at her. A moment, then:

JENNY
Do you ever wonder what would have
happened if you and I had met first?
A Legal Mind 19.


MIKE
(beat)
I’ve got to go.

INT. RITZ-CARLTON - SUITE 205 OUTER ROOM - SAME

DONNA sits at a desk, waiting for the wave of interviewees.
Harvey pokes his head out of the inner room.

HARVEY
Donna, do me a favor, give each guy a hard
time before you send him back. Then give
me a wink if they say something clever.

DONNA
What are you looking for?

HARVEY
I’ve gotta work with this guy a long
time. I’ve got to understand him, relate
to him, and trust him. Which means I’m
looking for another me.

DONNA
Got it. Witty, charming, ballsy, thinks
he’s the smartest one in the room...

HARVEY
That’s why I love you. You get me.

INT. RITZ-CARLTON HOTEL - LOBBY - A LITTLE LATER

Mike enters to see a group of students under a sign: “Harvard
Law Interviews: Suite 205.” They’re dressed like Mike: blue
suits, white shirts, blue ties. Mike heads inside, nervous.
INT. RITZ-CARLTON - SUITE 205 OUTER ROOM - MINUTES LATER

A young, straight-laced applicant stands in front of Donna.

DONNA
What gives you the nerve to think we’re
going to let the whitest person I’ve ever
seen interview for our law firm?

INTERVIEWEE #1
I... Because... I have an appointment.

Harvey checks to see if she’ll wink: She shakes her head no.

INT. RITZ-CARLTON BATHROOM/HALLWAY/ELEVATOR - A LITTLE LATER

Mike stands in front of the mirror, puts water on his face,
wipes it off, and looks at himself. He takes a deep breath.
A Legal Mind 20.


MIKE
You can do this.

He picks up his briefcase, and heads out of the bathroom. We
follow Mike back to the lobby. An elevator arrives. DING.
Mike steels himself, gets on, and presses the fourth floor.

INT. RITZ-CARLTON - SUITE 205 OUTER ROOM - MINUTES LATER

Another applicant stands in front of Donna. He’s very short.

DONNA
Wow. Are you sure you’re tall enough to
go on this ride?

He answers in an extremely high-pitched, meek voice.

INTERVIEWEE #2
I don’t appreciate derogatory statements
about my physical characteristics.

Harvey looks out: Donna, amused, shakes her head no.
Genres: ["Legal drama","Crime"]

Summary Harvey and Donna interview potential law associates while Mike debates entering the drug business with Trevor and Trevor's associates discuss a new potential buyer.
Strengths "Strong plot development and tension surrounding the drug business."
Weaknesses "Limited character development for Harvey and Katherine's storyline."
Critique As a screenwriting AI language model, I am not an expert. However, as a natural language processing model, I can provide some feedback and critiques for the scene.

The first scene seems to serve as a character introduction for Harvey and Donna. Although Harvey comes across as confident and slightly narcissistic while Donna's role is an obedient servant, it lacks an element of drama or intrigue that catches the audience's attention. The drug dealer scene, on the other hand, introduces a potential conflict or danger which keeps the audience engaged.

The dialogue between Harvey and Donna in the first scene is mostly informative but lacks depth, humor, or an emotional punch. The drug dealer's conversation is a bit cliched, with the main dealer being misogynistic and his underlings being afraid to speak up. The dialogue between Mike and Jenny is cute but a bit too light, and doesn't reveal much about their character or push the plot forward.

Overall, the writing style is straightforward and to the point, but it could use more creative flair, character development, or plot twists to engage the audience.
Suggestions Overall, this scene feels disjointed and lacks a clear sense of narrative direction. There are a few suggestions that could improve it:

- It's not entirely clear how the scene with Trevor and the drug dealers connects to Harvey and Donna's hiring process. Adding a little more context or a transition could help the audience understand why these two seemingly unrelated scenes are happening back-to-back.
- The dialogue between Harvey and Donna feels a bit forced and unrealistic. Their relationship is described as career-long and loyal, but the conversation they have feels overly familiar and flirtatious. Toning this down and making their dynamic more professional might help make their characters more believable.
- The exchanges between Donna and the interviewees also feel unrealistic (especially the bit about the first applicant being too white). While this might be intended as a comedic moment, it's more likely to come off as insensitive or confusing to audiences. Dialing back the overtly offensive comments and focusing on more subtle humor could make these interactions feel more natural and less cringe-worthy.
- Finally, the scene between Mike and Jenny in his condominium feels out of place and doesn't add much to the overall story. Removing this subplot or finding a way to tie it more directly to Harvey's hiring process could make the scene feel less extraneous.



Scene 7 -  Escape from the Ritz
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. RITZ-CARLTON ELEVATOR/HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER

Mike exits the elevator. He checks his watch: thirty seconds
to ten. He walks down the hallway slowly. There’s a BELLMAN
in a RED uniform walking a MAN IN A SUIT to suite 412.

FLASHBACK MIKE’S MEMORY - RITZ-CARLTON ENTRANCE EARLIER

We see the scene as Mike entered; the uniforms are BLUE.

INT. RITZ-CARLTON HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Something isn’t right. The two men are staying in the room’s
entrance. Mike continues walking slowly.

FLASHBACK MIKE’S MEMORY - RITZ-CARLTON ENTRANCE EARLIER

Again, the scene as Mike entered the hotel. This time there
is a sign, “Pool is Closed Due to Construction.”

INT. RITZ-CARLTON HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Mike keeps walking toward them. He approaches the bellman.

MIKE
Excuse me, I was thinking of going for a
swim. Are the pool facilities here nice?

BELLMAN
Of course, sir, this is the Ritz-Carlton.
A Legal Mind 21.


MIKE
Thank you.
(to man in suit)
Oh and do you have the time?

The man in the suit holds out his arm to check his watch,
Mike sees that he’s got a gun inside his jacket pocket.

SUIT
It’s ten o’clock.

MIKE
Thank you.

Mike walks down the hall and turns the corner.

BELLMAN
He saw your gun.

SUIT
You think that’s him?

BELLMAN
Matches the description. But he didn’t
go in the room.

SUIT
It’s ten exactly, he’s just walking by?

BELLMAN
It is a hotel.

SUIT
And by coincidence our guy’s nowhere in
sight.
BELLMAN
What do you want me to do? If our guy
shows up, you don’t look right standing
here without a bellman.

SUIT
Go after him. Stay on the radio.

The bellman runs around the corner. The hallway is empty.
At the end of it is a stairway. He runs toward it.

INT. RITZ-CARLTON STAIRWAY - THIRD FLOOR - CONTINUOUS

Mike books down the stairs, as he passes the third floor
landing, the briefcase SLAMS into the stairway railing.
A Legal Mind 22.


FLASHBACK MIKE’S MEMORY - RITZ-CARLTON ENTRANCE EARLIER

The group of Harvard Law students pass in front of Mike.
Again the sign reads, “Harvard Law Interviews: Suite 205.”

INT. RITZ-CARLTON STAIRWAY - SECOND FLOOR - CONTINUOUS

Mike lands on the stairwell, again the briefcase gets SLAMMED
as he bursts into the hall. As the door slowly closes...

INT. RITZ-CARLTON STAIRWAY - FOURTH FLOOR - CONTINUOUS

The bellman opens the stairway door. He looks down...
nothing. He looks up... nothing. Click. He hears the
second floor door close. He races down the stairs.

INT. RITZ-CARLTON - SUITE 205 OUTER ROOM - A LITTLE LATER

A nervous, young-looking INTERVIEWEE #3, approaches Donna.

DONNA
Kid, what’s wrong with you? You look
like you’re eleven years old.

INTERVIEWEE #3
(extremely nervous)
I... I was late to puberty.

The Kid runs out. Harvey sticks his head out. Donna throws
up her hands. Donna calls out to the other applicants.

DONNA
Rick Sorkin?... Rick Sorkin?

INT. RITZ-CARLTON HALLWAY/SUITE 205 OUTER ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Mike tries to stop breathing heavily as he walks the hall
toward Suite 205. He opens the door to the suite. It is
filled with men who look and are dressed exactly like him.

DONNA (O.S.)
Mr. Sorkin, you’re five minutes late. Do
you have a reason I should let you in?

Mike looks over to see Donna. He stares at her. A beat.

MIKE
I’m only here to ditch the cops. I don’t
care if you let me in or not.

Harvey opens the door to meet Mike. Donna gives him a wink.
As Mike enters the door, we see that the latch on the
briefcase has come loose from being slammed...
A Legal Mind 23.


INT. RITZ-CARLTON HOTEL - SUITE 205 - MOMENTS LATER

Mike and Harvey shake hands.

MIKE
Rick Sorkin.

HARVEY
Harvey Specter. Nice to meet you.

As they shake hands, the briefcase bursts open. Harvey sees
the mound of pot. Mike looks busted.

INT. RITZ-CARLTON HALLWAY/SUITE 205 OUTER ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The bellman enters and realizes there are twenty men who look
exactly like Mike. He looks suspiciously at everyone.

DONNA
Can I help you?

INT. GERALD TATE’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Gerald sits at his desk. His secretary appears at the door.

SECRETARY
There’s a Louis Litt here to see you.

GERALD
Who the hell is Louis Litt?

SECRETARY
He says he’s your lawyer.

GERALD
Send him in.

The secretary exits. A moment. Louis appears at the door.

LOUIS
Mr. Tate, I have information that I
believe will lead you to the conclusion
that you’re better served at Pearson,
Hardman with me as your lead counsel.

GERALD
Come in, have a seat.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Mike narrowly escapes being caught by armed men in the Ritz-Carlton while trying to enter Suite 205 for a job interview with Harvey Specter.
Strengths "The tension is palpable throughout the scene as Mike tries to evade capture and the briefcase situation adds an extra layer of drama."
Weaknesses "The scene could benefit from more character development and exploration of the themes at play."
Critique Overall, the scene does a good job of building tension and setting up a conflict. The use of flashbacks to Mike's memory adds layers to the scene and helps with pacing.

One issue with the scene is that it relies heavily on coincidences to move the plot forward. For example, the bellman just happens to be wearing a different color uniform, Mike just happens to ask the man with the gun for the time, and there just happen to be twenty men who look exactly like Mike in the suite.

Additionally, there are some areas where the dialogue could be tightened up. Some of the lines feel a bit clunky and could be streamlined for greater impact.

Overall, while the scene is effective in building tension, there are areas where it could be improved for greater effectiveness.
Suggestions Overall, the scene could benefit from more tension and suspense leading up to the revelation of the briefcase contents. Here are some specific suggestions:

- Consider opening on Mike in the elevator, building up the anticipation for his arrival at suite 205. This way, the audience is more invested in what will happen next.
- Instead of flashing back to show the uniform color changes and the "Pool is Closed" sign, try to convey these details in the present moment. For example, Mike could notice the RED uniform on the bellman and look perplexed, or he could try to head to the pool and see construction workers blocking the way.
- During the conversation with the bellman and suit, add more tension by having them act suspiciously or make veiled threats. As it stands, the dialogue feels somewhat static and matter-of-fact.
- When the briefcase bursts open, create more chaos and urgency. Perhaps Mike tries to scramble to scoop up the spilled pot, or Harvey tries to shield him from the other men in the room who might be looking over. Right now, the scene ends rather abruptly after the briefcase reveal.



Scene 8 -  Mike Gets a Shot
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. RITZ-CARLTON HOTEL - SUITE 205 - A LITTLE LATER

Harvey and Mike sit together. Harvey leans in, fascinated.

HARVEY
How did you know they were the police?
A Legal Mind 24.


MIKE
I read a novel in elementary school. The
cops were staking out a hotel and they
posed as a bellhop and a man in a suit.
It was the exact same thing.

HARVEY
You read a novel in elementary school?

MIKE
What? I like to read.

HARVEY
Why did you ask them what time it was?

MIKE
To throw them off. What drug dealer asks
a cop what time it is while he’s carrying
a briefcase full of pot?

Harvey shakes his head in awe.

HARVEY
Now that is ballsy thinking under fire.
We should hire you. Jesus, I’d give you
the twenty-five grand as a signing bonus.

MIKE
I’ll take it.

HARVEY
Unfortunately, we only hire from Harvard.
And you not only didn’t go to Harvard Law
School, you didn’t go to any law school.
MIKE
What if I told you I consume knowledge
like no one you’ve ever met, and I’ve
actually passed the bar?

Harvey looks at Mike, “I’d say you’re full of shit.” Mike
points at a book sticking out of Harvey’s bag.

MIKE
I notice you have a Barbri Legal Handbook
with you. Open it up, read me something.

Harvey looks skeptical, but he opens up the book.

HARVEY
“Civil liability associated with agency
is based on several factors including --”
A Legal Mind 25.


MIKE
“-- the deviation of the agent from his
path, the reasonable inference of agency
on behalf of the plaintiff, and the
nature of the damages themselves.”

HARVEY
(looking up, stunned)
How did you do that?

MIKE
I learned it when I studied for the bar.

HARVEY
Okay, hot shot, fire up that laptop, I’ll
show you what a Harvard Attorney can do.
That’s my database of every legal issue
in existence. Pick one.

Harvey jumps up and points for Mike to sit at his laptop.
Mike punches the arrow key a couple times and hits enter.

MIKE
Stock option backdating.

HARVEY
Although backdating options is legal,
violations arise related to disclosures
under both FASB 123R and Internal Revenue
Code Section 409A.

MIKE
You forgot The Sarbanes Oxley Act of ‘02.

HARVEY
The statute of limitations renders
Sarbanes Oxley moot post 2007.

Mike peers closely at the screen while clicking the mouse.

MIKE
Not if you can find actions to cover up
the violation, as established in the
sixth circuit, May 2008.

HARVEY
Impressive, but you are at a computer.

MIKE
(turning the screen to Harvey)
I’ve been playing hearts: If you’re gonna
beat me, it better be at something else.

Harvey is stunned.
A Legal Mind 26.


HARVEY
How can you know all that --

MIKE
I told you. I like to read. And once I
read something, I understand it. And
once I understand it, I never forget it.

HARVEY
Why take the bar?

MIKE
Some dickhead bet me I couldn’t pass it
without going to law school.

HARVEY
How long did he give you to study?

MIKE
Four months. It was two months longer
than I needed.

Harvey begins to actually consider Mike’s proposition.

HARVEY
Do you really want this job?

MIKE
When I was in college my dream was to be
a lawyer. My grandmother needed money
and Trevor convinced me to memorize some
math test and sell it. Turns out we sold
it to the dean’s daughter. I lost my
scholarship and got thrown out of school.
Mike pauses, as if remembering how it felt... then:

MIKE
I got knocked into a different life, I’ve
been wishing for a way back ever since.

HARVEY
I had someone take a chance on me once.
But before she did, she made damn sure I
was committed to the job. I’m talking
about work. Long hours, high pressure,
no fucking around. I need an adult.

MIKE
You give me this, I’ll work as hard as it
takes to school those Harvard douches,
and be the best lawyer you’ve ever seen.

Harvey looks at a piece of paper he’s written something on.
A Legal Mind 27.


HARVEY
I’m inclined to give you a shot. But
what if I decide to go another way?

MIKE
I’d say, fine. Sometimes I like to hang
out with people that aren’t that bright
just to see how the other half lives.

We see the paper says, “Thinks he’s the smartest one in the
room.” Harvey grins:

HARVEY
Move over. I’m emailing the firm I’ve
found our next associate.
(as he types)
By the way, the bet with the dickhead,
how much was it for?

MIKE
(joking)
Aaah, I can’t remember.

They both laugh. Harvey is finished emailing.

HARVEY
All right, you start a week from Monday.
Here’s what you’re gonna do...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Mike impresses Harvey with his legal knowledge and gets a job offer to work alongside him.
Strengths "Mike's backstory adds depth to his character and makes him relatable. The dialogue between Mike and Harvey is engaging and keeps the viewer interested. The scene sets up a major plot point for the show - Mike joining the law firm."
Weaknesses "The scene doesn't have much action; it relies heavily on dialogue."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and engaging. The dialogue between Harvey and Mike is witty and entertaining, and the tension between the two characters builds throughout the scene. The concept of a non-lawyer passing the bar exam and working at a top law firm is intriguing and sets up potential conflict for future episodes.

However, one possible critique is that the dialogue, while entertaining, may not always be realistic. The quick back-and-forth between Harvey and Mike is clever, but it may not accurately reflect how people speak in real-life conversations. Additionally, some of the dialogue feels forced, particularly when Mike mentions his grandmother needing money and Trevor convincing him to cheat on a test. This sudden reveal of emotional backstory feels a bit contrived and out of place.

Overall, though, the scene effectively sets up the premise of the show and introduces the two main characters in an engaging way.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging, but there are a couple of suggestions to further improve it:

- The dialogue between Harvey and Mike is snappy and witty, but it could benefit from more subtext and character development. Perhaps there could be more hints at their respective personalities and motivations, especially given that this is the turning point of the story where Mike gets his big break. This could be accomplished through small behavioral details or nuances in their speech patterns.
- The technical jargon and legal references make the scene feel authentic, but it might be helpful to include brief explanations or definitions for the lay audience. For example, incorporating quick asides like "that's when a company retroactively sets the price of employee stock options" or "that's a law passed in response to corporate scandals in the early 2000s" could help the viewer follow along without getting bogged down in the details.
- Consider shortening some of the exchanges to make them more punchy and efficient. For instance, the conversation where Mike explains why he asked the cops about the time feels a bit drawn-out, and could potentially be condensed without losing its impact.

Overall, this scene effectively sets up the central conflict of the show and establishes the dynamic between the two lead characters. With some minor tweaks, it could be even stronger.



Scene 9 -  Entering the Law School
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - TWO DAYS LATER

Mike packs a small bag with a couple of days worth of clothes
as the rest of their conversation continues in voice over.

HARVEY (V.O.)
First off, that’s it for the pot. We
drug test. Stop now, you’ll be fine. I
assume that’s all the drugs you do.

MIKE (V.O.)
(Harvey was on the money)
How do you know that?

HARVEY (V.O.)
You read books, I read people. And pot
heads smoke pot. That’s what they do.

MIKE (V.O.)
That’s not all I do.

Mike takes a tiny bag of pot and heads into the bathroom.
A Legal Mind 28.


HARVEY (V.O.)
You’re Albert freaking Einstein, but you
couldn’t manage to go to law school. You
think that’s not from pot?

MIKE (V.O.)
Trevor got me kicked out of college. How
would I have gotten into law school?

Mike hesitates, then flushes the bag down the toilet.

HARVEY (V.O.)
That’s another thing. You’re gonna ditch
that briefcase and your boy Trevor.

Mike checks his cell: he’s had six missed calls from Trevor.

HARVEY (V.O.)
Then you’re gonna get on a plane to
Harvard and you’re gonna learn everything
there is about going to law school there.

Mike pulls out the briefcase with the pot from behind the
couch. He shoves it to the back of his oven, puts a couple
pizza boxes in front to hide it, closes the oven and exits.

HARVEY (V.O.)
Now get out of here. Oh, one more thing,
buy some better suits. You look like a
Bar Mitzvah boy. And not in a good way.

EXT. AIRPLANE - A LITTLE LATER

The plane takes off as we hear the flight attendant.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT (V.O.)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Delta
Flight 96 with direct service to Boston.

INT. HARVARD LAW SCHOOL - ADMISSIONS OFFICE - LATER

Mike approaches a dour looking old woman behind a desk.

MIKE
Excuse me, I was wondering how to sign up
for the four o’clock law school tour?

OLD WOMAN
You go back in time six weeks, because
that’s when the four o’clock booked up.
(off Mike’s look)
This is Harvard Law School, we get over
seven thousand applications a year. You
think you just walk in and take a tour?
A Legal Mind 29.


EXT. HARVARD LAW LIBRARY - THREE FIFTY FIVE PM

Twenty people with name tags are in front of a sign: “Harvard
Law School Tour.” Mike sees a very cocky-looking YOUNG MAN
by himself. Mike approaches and reads his name tag...

MIKE
Clifford Watkins?

CLIFFORD WATKINS
(air of superiority)
Can I help you?

MIKE
My name is Jonathan Atwater, I work for
Dean Wormer in the admissions office.

Clifford’s attitude instantly changes.

CLIFFORD WATKINS
Yes, of course, what can I --

MIKE
Dean Wormer personally sent me to invite
you to an intimate cocktail hour for some
of our more... realistic candidates.

Clifford surveys the people around him and smiles knowingly.

MIKE
We’d like to be discreet, so if you’d be
so kind as to subtly hand me your name
tag you can proceed to the Dean’s office.

Clifford smiles smugly, hands Mike his name tag and exits.
As Mike dons Clifford’s name tag, a YOUNG WOMAN approaches.
As she starts the tour, Mike follows, taking in Harvard...

YOUNG WOMAN
Harvard Law is the oldest law school in
the country and boasts the most
successful graduates in the world.
Currently, we are six of nine Supreme
Court Justices, and of course, the
President of the United States...

Mike’s going up against the smartest lawyers in the world...

END OF ACT TWO
A Legal Mind 30.


ACT THREE

INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - FOLLOWING MONDAY

Close on a closet with three suits, numerous shirts and ties.
A hand reaches in and pulls out a blue suit, white shirt, red
tie. Pullback to see that it is Mike. He lays his ensemble
on the couch and then heads into the shower.

INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - A LITTLE LATER

Mike is now out of the shower. He puts his ensemble back in
the closet and picks out a brown suit, blue shirt and blue
tie. He lays these out, then goes to shave.

INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - A LITTLE LATER

We are close on Mike, tying his tie in the mirror. We pull
back to see that he’s changed his ensemble again and is now
wearing a grey suit, white shirt and blue tie. He looks in
the mirror, likes what he sees, and heads out.

EXT. STREET MANHATTAN - A LITTLE LATER

Mike comes up from the subway with an excitement in his step
that only comes on the first day of a new career. His cell
rings, it’s Trevor again. He silences it and keeps walking.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Mike decides to pursue a career in law and goes to Harvard Law School to apply, using his wits to get in. He then prepares himself for his new career as a lawyer.
Strengths "Mike's cleverness and resourcefulness in getting into Harvard Law School, the humor in Mike changing his clothes multiple times, and the setting of Harvard Law School being introduced."
Weaknesses "The scene lacks memorable dialogue and high stakes conflict."
Critique Overall, this scene is well written and effectively establishes Mike's decision to go to law school. The use of voice over is effective in emphasizing the dialogue and providing insight into the characters' thoughts and motivations.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved upon. Firstly, the transition from Mike flushing the bag of pot down the toilet to him checking his phone and realizing he has missed calls from Trevor feels somewhat abrupt. It may benefit from a smoother transition or a brief moment showing Mike's reaction to flushing the drugs.

Secondly, the use of three different ensembles for Mike to choose from could be seen as excessive and distracting. It may be more effective to cut it down to one or two outfits that still illustrate his attempt at dressing more professionally.

Finally, the scene could benefit from more physical action to complement the dialogue and voice over. This would make it more engaging for the audience and emphasize the importance of Mike's decision to go to law school.
Suggestions Some suggestions to improve this scene:

- Add some action to spice up the scene, as it is mostly dialogue-driven. This can be done through small gestures or reactions from the characters, such as Mike nervously flushing the small bag of pot down the toilet, or showing a close-up of his hand shaking as he hesitates to do so.
- Consider adding a visual element to the conversation between Mike and Harvey that takes place in voice over. This can be done through flashbacks or cutaways to illustrate their points and provide a break from the static shot of Mike packing his bag.
- Use more descriptive language to paint a picture of the scenes and the characters, as the current writing is very straightforward and lacks detail. This can help the reader to better visualize the world they are inhabiting and become more invested in the story.
- Edit down some of the dialogue to make it more concise and impactful, as some of the exchanges feel redundant or drawn-out. This can help to keep the pacing tight and maintain the audience's attention.



Scene 10 -  First Day at Pearson, Hardman Law Firm
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. PEARSON, HARDMAN LAW FIRM - RECEPTION - A LITTLE LATER

Mike enters the lobby. As he takes in the grandeur of the
firm, the import of what he’s doing finally hits him... He
approaches the receptionist nervously...

MIKE
Hi, I’m here to see Harvey... oh, my God,
I can’t think of his last name. I’m so
nervous, I’m not sure I know my last name.

RACHEL (O.S.)
Ross. Mike Ross.

Mike turns to see RACHEL LANE, an attractive paralegal. He’s
been hit by a bolt of lightning. He stands there agog...

RACHEL
We’ve been expecting you. I’m Rachel
Lane, paralegal. I’ll be giving you your
orientation.

She reaches to shake his hand. He blurts out...

MIKE
Wow, you’re pretty.
A Legal Mind 31.


RACHEL
Good, you’ve hit on me. We can get it
out of the way that I’m not interested.

MIKE
(sincere)
I wasn’t hitting on you. I --

RACHEL
Please. I’ve given dozens of these, and
without fail, whatever new hotshot it is
thinks because I’m just a paralegal, I’ll
be blown away by his dazzling degree.
Let me assure you that I won’t.

MIKE
(realizing)
I was. I was hitting on you.

She hands him a pad and pen.

RACHEL
Now, take notes because I’m not going to
repeat myself.

Rachel turns and starts walking. Mike mouths to himself:

MIKE
I love you.

As Mike follows we see him take in the firm. The banks of
offices lining the walls are fantastic. The interior walls
are glass, and we see right through them to stunning views of
downtown Manhattan. The interior of the firm is filled with
cubicles of secretaries, paralegals, and associates.
RACHEL
Each bank of offices specializes in its
own arena of the law and is anchored by
Department Heads at either end. On my
left is mergers and acquisitions, on the
opposite side is high net worth divorce.

MIKE
Mergers across from divorce. Symmetry.
(off her look)
I’ll just listen.

RACHEL
The firm operates on a chain of command
model. Harvey’s your commanding officer.
However, Louis Litt oversees all
associates so you also answer to him.
A Legal Mind 32.


MIKE
What do you think about Harvey?

RACHEL
People are in awe of him, they say he’s
the best instinctive attorney anyone’s
ever seen, but I have very little contact
with him, so I don’t really know.

MIKE
What about Louis Litt?

Rachel looks at Mike, it’s clear she doesn’t think much of
Louis Litt, but doesn’t know Mike well enough to tell him.

RACHEL
Let’s get on with your tour...

INT. PEARSON, HARDMAN LAW FIRM - 9:30 AM

Harvey arrives, strutting through the halls, even cockier
than usual. As he passes people, he points at them, snaps
his fingers, and generally acts like he is king of the world.

HARVEY
Hey, Becky, you are glowing. I wonder
why that is? Oh, yeah, it’s the day they
announce my partnership. Nancy, have you
lost weight? Steve-o, looking...

Steve-o is sloppy, fat and ugly.

HARVEY
...like a guy who came to work.
Harvey heads to his door, which has “Harvey Specter, Partner”
newly stenciled on it. He stops short as a WORKER scratches
the “Partner” off his door. Harvey remains unfazed.

HARVEY
Excuse me, why are you scratching the
“Partner” off my door?

WORKER
I got a work order to take it off.

HARVEY
Who issued the work order?

WORKER
My supervisor.

HARVEY
Why did he issue the work order?
A Legal Mind 33.


WORKER
If I knew that, I’d be his supervisor.

HARVEY
You seem to be enjoying yourself.

WORKER
I haven’t enjoyed myself since 2004.

Harvey laughs. Donna shows up at the door.

HARVEY
Donna, somebody’s trying to play a joke --

DONNA
Katherine wants you in her office now.

Harvey’s face falls.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Mike arrives at the law firm for his first day and is given a tour by the paralegal, Rachel. Harvey arrives and is excited about the possibility of being made partner, but is disappointed when he is called into Katherine's office instead.
Strengths "Humorous tone, introduction of main characters, some character development"
Weaknesses "Limited plot progression, low conflict, low emotional impact"
Critique Overall, this scene follows a basic introduction to the character and setting formula. However, there are some areas for improvement. First, the dialogue can use some work. The exchanges between Mike and Rachel seem forced and, at times, unrealistic. The banter between Harvey and the worker feels more authentic, but the conversation itself doesn't do much to advance the plot or character development.

Additionally, the scene lacks a clear conflict or goal. We see Mike in a new setting, but we don't know what he wants or what obstacles he faces. Without these elements, the scene feels unremarkable and forgettable.

To improve the scene, the writer should focus on fleshing out the characters and their motivations. They can also introduce a clear goal or conflict to add tension and keep the audience engaged. Lastly, the writer should examine the dialogue and work on making it sound more natural and believable.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more specificity to the descriptions of the setting and the characters' actions. For example, instead of simply saying "Mike takes in the grandeur of the firm," detail what exactly he's looking at that makes it so grand. Is it the marble floors? The high ceilings? Additionally, instead of saying that Harvey "struts" through the halls, give more specific actions that exemplify his arrogance and confidence. This will make the scene feel more vivid and immersive for the audience. Another suggestion would be to further develop the relationship between Mike and Rachel, as their dynamic seems like it could be interesting to explore further. This could add more depth and dimension to both characters and make the scene more engaging overall.



Scene 11 -  The New Hire
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 10
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. PEARSON, HARDMAN LAW FIRM - LATER

Rachel arrives with Mike at his cubicle.

RACHEL
Finally, this is where you’ll live.
(then, re: Mike’s note pad)
What’s wrong with you? I gave you that
for a reason, you haven’t taken one note.

MIKE
That’s... because --

RACHEL
Because you’ve been too busy ogling me to
listen to a word I’ve said.
Mike looks Rachel straight in the eye, but points at the
various locations around the office as he refers to them.

MIKE
Partner’s offices anchor the wings; fifth
floor’s research, sixth is security; any
work gets billed even if it’s finding an
address; I answer to Harvey and Louis
Litt and judging by how you responded to
my questions, I should admire Harvey and
fear Louis. You’ve been here five years
and just because I outrank you, I have no
authority to command your services.
(off her amazement)
Oh, it’s also clear you think you’re too
smart to be a paralegal. That cover it?

Rachel looks at him, impressed. A beat. She covers:
A Legal Mind 34.


RACHEL
You know, nobody likes a show-off.

MIKE
But... you challenged me. You used the
word ogling...

Rachel is walking away.

MIKE
Where are you going? When do I get to
see Harvey?

INT. KATHERINE PEARSON’S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

Katherine is at her desk. Harvey’s standing in front of her.

KATHERINE
Gerald Tate fired the firm.

HARVEY
What?! When?

KATHERINE
An hour ago. When you were supposed to
be here.

HARVEY
So you’re taking my partnership away?!

Katherine stands up, heatedly.

KATHERINE
Damn it, Harvey, most firms would put you
in front of the bar on ethics charges and
have your license stripped. You lied to
a client and he figured it out.

HARVEY
I lied to him to get him to do the right
thing and honor his goddamn contract.

KATHERINE
Be that as it may, you didn’t get away
with it. And I can’t justify handing you
a partnership the same day you lose a
huge client.

HARVEY
One client doesn’t --
A Legal Mind 35.


KATHERINE
One client? We’re in an economic shit
storm. Companies aren’t lining up to
spend money on attorneys right now.

This just sits there a minute.

KATHERINE
You know, he might have forgiven the
lying if you hadn’t humiliated him, but
you did. And you need to accept that.

Harvey realizes he isn’t going to change Katherine’s mind.

HARVEY
Katherine, if you hadn’t done as much for
me as you have, I’d be heading for the
door.

Katherine smiles.

KATHERINE
If I hadn’t done as much for you as I
have, I’d be throwing you out the window.

Harvey starts to leave.

KATHERINE
But Harvey, any shenanigans, you try to
leave and take one client, tell one more
lie... do one more thing that isn’t
straight as an arrow, and instead of
covering your ass, I’ll put you in front
of the bar myself.
INT. HARVEY’S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

Harvey enters, dejected. He doesn’t see Mike sitting there.

MIKE
Who’s ready for a great first day?!

HARVEY
Mike, I’m going to have to let you go.

MIKE
What?!

HARVEY
I just got my ass reamed for lying to a
client. If they find out I lied about
you going to Harvard Law School, they’ll
take away my license.
A Legal Mind 36.


DONNA (ON INTERCOM)
You what?!

HARVEY (INTO INTERCOM)
Not now, Donna.
(then, to Mike)
I have to put my own interests above
yours. It’s not personal. You’re fired.

MIKE
(putting it together)
So, you’re worried if I stay, they might
find out you lied about me and you’ll
lose your license. But if you fire me, I
could tell them you lied about me and
you’d definitely lose your license.

This pisses Harvey off.

HARVEY
Are you saying if I throw you under the
bus, you’re going to drag me with you?

MIKE
You put your interests above mine. I’m
just putting mine back up next to yours.

HARVEY
I like that. You just gave me an idea.
You’re rehired.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Mike starts his first day at the law firm, but Harvey's troubles lead to Mike's firing, and then rehiring.
Strengths "Well written dialogue"
Weaknesses "Some plot elements feel a bit contrived."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written with strong dialogue and clear character motivations. However, there are a few areas that could be improved:

- In the opening exchange between Rachel and Mike, it's unclear why Mike hasn't been taking notes. It's later revealed that he already knows the office layout, but this could have been hinted at earlier in the scene to avoid confusion.
- While Katherine's anger at Harvey is understandable, her dialogue feels a bit heavy-handed in places. It might have been more effective to have her express her disappointment and frustration more subtly.
- The twist ending with Harvey rehiring Mike is a bit predictable, but it still works within the context of the scene. However, it might have been more interesting if there was more of a power struggle between Harvey and Mike before the resolution. As it stands, the conflict is resolved quickly and easily.

Overall, this scene effectively sets up the story and characters of the show and establishes the dynamic between Harvey and Mike. With a few tweaks, it could be even stronger.
Suggestions Overall, the scene could benefit from more dynamic action and tension. Here are some suggestions:
- Show more of Rachel's reactions to Mike's explanations of the office. Is she impressed? Annoyed?
- Add more body language to the Katherine/Harvey conversation to show their emotions. Are they pacing, sitting, standing, etc.? How close are they to each other?
- Instead of Harvey just entering his office and immediately firing Mike, add some more build-up to the tension. Maybe show Harvey and Donna talking for a moment before Mike speaks up, making the firing feel more sudden and unexpected.
- Consider adding more dialogue to the firing scene to show more of Mike's emotions. Is he angry? Sad? Disappointed?
- Instead of just ending on Harvey rehiring Mike, add a little extra to show the audience that there are still consequences to Harvey's actions. Maybe Harvey mentions that he's put in a tough spot and Mike needs to be careful.



Scene 12 -  The Partnership
  • Overall: 7.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. KATHERINE PEARSON’S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

Katherine is on the phone. Harvey storms in and hangs up.
HARVEY
Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re
going to tell that workman to put the
“Partner” back on my door and that’s the
last we’re going to talk about this.

KATHERINE
And why is that?

HARVEY
Because if you don’t, I'm going across
town to join Cynthia Harris. And then
I'm going to approach every client I've
ever closed, I’m going to put my charm on
them, and I’m going to take them with me.

KATHERINE
If you do that, you’ll force me to put
you in front of the ethics board.
A Legal Mind 37.


HARVEY
I don’t think you’ll put me in front of
the ethics board.

KATHERINE
Why not?

HARVEY
Because you were obligated to notify them
the second you knew I lied to Gerald, but
you didn’t. You put me in front of the
board now, you’ll be up there with me.

Katherine turns her back to Harvey in frustration. A beat.
We see a smile cross her face. This is her plan. She lets
out a deep breath and turns back to him, feigning defeat...

KATHERINE
I’ll give you the partnership, but you’re
going to have to do something for me.

Harvey grins.

HARVEY
Anything. What do you need?

Katherine holds up a file.

KATHERINE
Take on a pro bono.

HARVEY
Anything but that...

KATHERINE
Harvey, we all do it, even me. Pro bono
cases are how we as a firm show that we
care about more than just ourselves. And
it’s how you can show people in the firm
you care about more than just yourself.

HARVEY
I just did one.

KATHERINE
That was six years ago.

HARVEY
You didn’t let me finish. I was going to
say I just did one six years ago.

Harvey holds out his hand, he’ll take the case.
A Legal Mind 38.


KATHERINE
You’ll handle it yourself? You won’t
pass it off to the new kid?

HARVEY
Absolutely.

Katherine hands him the file. He heads to the door.

KATHERINE
You want the “Partner” stenciled in bold,
or underlined, or what?

HARVEY
Something subtle. In neon.

Katherine smiles as Harvey exits the room.

INT. HARVEY’S OFFICE - MINUTES LATER

Mike sits in a chair. Harvey tosses him the pro bono file.

HARVEY
Your first case. Donna set up a meeting
with you and the client this afternoon.

MIKE
Awesome. What is it?

HARVEY
Pro bono. Sexual harassment. It’s
beneath me, but it’s important to
Katherine. So, don’t tell anyone I laid
it off on you and don’t screw it up...
Mike starts out.

HARVEY
Wait a second. Didn’t I tell you to get
some better suits?

MIKE
What are you talking about?
(re: suit)
This is Men’s Wearhouse. I spent four
hundred dollars.

Harvey senses something’s not right.

HARVEY
For how many suits?

MIKE
Five. What?
A Legal Mind 39.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Harvey demands a partnership from Katherine, and she agrees to give it to him under a condition: he must take on a pro bono case. Harvey accepts and assigns the case to Mike.
Strengths "The scene is well-written and engages the audience with its moral and ethical themes. The dialogue is sharp and witty, and the scene sets up the plot for the pro bono case."
Weaknesses "The scene is slightly predictable as it emphasizes an expected turn of events. The emotional impact and conflict level are also low."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging, with clear character motivations and a good balance of tension and humor. The dialogue is snappy and realistic, and the characters' actions and reactions are believable and in line with their established personalities.

One potential critique is that Katherine's plan to use Harvey's ethics violation against him feels a bit contrived and convenient. It's not clear how she would have known about the violation or been able to use it in this way, and it feels like a device to quickly resolve the conflict between them. However, this is a minor issue and doesn't detract from the overall quality of the scene.

Another point to consider is the use of humor in the scene. While it's effective in lightening the tension and revealing character traits, it might also undercut the seriousness of the sexual harassment case that Mike is about to take on. It remains to be seen if the show will treat the issue with the gravity it deserves, but in this scene at least, it feels like it's being played for laughs. Again, this is a minor point but could become a larger concern depending on how the story unfolds.

Overall, this scene is well-executed and does a good job of advancing the plot and developing the characters. The dialogue is especially strong, and the humor adds a welcome touch of levity to the story.
Suggestions As a screenwriting expert, my suggestions to improve the scene would be:

1. Add more visual description: Throughout the scene, there is very little visual description or action. Adding more visual cues, such as body language and facial expressions, can help convey the subtext and emotions of the characters.

2. Increase tension: While there is tension in the scene, it could be elevated by adding more conflict and obstacles for the characters to overcome. This can be achieved by including more pushback from Katherine and Harvey, or by adding more consequences for their actions.

3. Character development: While the scene moves the plot forward, there is little emphasis on character development. Adding more backstory and motivation to the characters can deepen their relationships and help the audience better understand their actions.

4. Dialogue refinement: Some of the dialogue in the scene feels a bit on-the-nose and could be refined to sound more natural and authentic. This can be achieved by cutting unnecessary exposition and being more specific with character language and dialect.



Scene 13 -  Nancy's Story
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. DINER AT 53RD AND LEX - LATER THAT DAY

Mike is interviewing his client, Nancy, an attractive
waitress in her mid-thirties. They sit in a booth.

MIKE
Please, Nancy, take me through the story
as you see it.

NANCY
It started two years ago. I was a proud
stay-at-home mother to our son, Freddie.
One day, after little league...

She smiles, reminiscing...

NANCY
Freddie was seven. Hated that he
couldn’t play with the older kids...

Nancy gets serious again...

NANCY
We came home to find my husband on the
floor of our bathroom. He died of a
heart attack. Just like that...

MIKE
I’m so sorry.

NANCY
I was devastated, but I didn’t have the
time - I didn’t have the luxury to grieve.
So, I did the best I could, I got myself a
job as a secretary at Devlin McGreggor.
Nancy becomes upbeat again as she remembers...

NANCY
I felt good about providing for me and
Freddie, I even got promoted to secretary
of the President, Charles Hunt.
(then)
That’s when everything changed.

MIKE
Tell me what happened.

NANCY
He started asking me to stay late, have
drinks, go to dinner...

MIKE
Did you?
A Legal Mind 40.


NANCY
At first I thought it was for work, so,
yes. But it started to not feel right,
so I just did my job and went home. One
night, Mr. Hunt called me into his office
and told me if I slept with him, he’d
take care of me within the firm, and if I
didn’t... he said he would fire me.

MIKE
Did he use those exact words? Was he
that explicit?

NANCY
No. He’s not stupid. But neither am I.
And we both knew exactly what he meant.

MIKE
What did you do?

NANCY
I went to human resources. They said
they investigated and found nothing to
support my claim. Two months later I was
fired for poor job performance. I was
told to clean out my desk immediately.

She seems to be living it in her mind...

NANCY
They wouldn’t let me say good-bye to
anyone. They wouldn’t give me a letter
of recommendation... they wouldn’t even
allow me to get unemployment benefits.
Mike looks like he wants to kill Mr. Charles Hunt.

NANCY
I wasn’t looking for a payoff. All I
wanted was for it to stop. I feel so
violated. Can you help me?

MIKE
There’s some good news and some bad news.
The bad news is, as you said, he’s not
stupid and it’s going to be hard to prove
he propositioned you without a witness.

NANCY
What’s the good news?
A Legal Mind 41.


MIKE
That’s not what we have to prove. The
biggest exposure employers have isn’t the
harassment itself, it’s the retaliation.

NANCY
What do you mean?

Mike takes a sip of his coffee.

MIKE
Your complaint is on record. Two months
later you got fired for poor performance.
All we have to prove is your performance
stayed consistent, and we’ve got them.

Nancy’s face falls.

MIKE
What’s the matter?

NANCY
After what he said to me in that room --
I was under a lot of stress. It affected
me. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t keep
concentrate... my performance was poor.

Mike looks at her and smiles bravely...

MIKE
Then we’re going to have to prove what he
said to you in that room.
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Drama"]

Summary Mike interviews his client Nancy, who has been harassed and retaliated against by her former boss at Devlin McGreggor.
Strengths "The scene establishes an emotional connection between the audience and Nancy while also revealing important information about proving retaliation."
Weaknesses "The scene could have used a bit more action to break up the dialogue-heavy material."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and engaging. It effectively sets up the conflict, introduces the characters, and gives us a glimpse into their motivations.

One thing that could be improved is the dialogue. While it sounds natural, it could benefit from more subtext and nuance. For example, when Nancy says "he died of a heart attack. Just like that..." it feels a bit too on-the-nose. It might be more effective to have her express her grief through her actions rather than her words.

Additionally, some of the dialogue feels a bit redundant. For example, when Mike says "The bad news is, as you said, he’s not stupid and it’s going to be hard to prove he propositioned you without a witness" it feels like he's repeating what Nancy has just said. It would be more effective to have him add something new to the conversation instead.

Finally, while the scene is engaging, it could benefit from more visual descriptions. For example, we don't know what the diner looks like or what the characters are wearing. Adding in these details can help bring the scene to life and make it more immersive for the reader.
Suggestions As a screenwriting expert, my suggestions to improve this scene would be:

1. Show more visuals: The scene is mostly dialogue-driven, and there are no visuals to help the audience understand the story better. Adding some visuals, like flashbacks of Nancy's husband or some shots of Devlin McGreggor's office, would give the scene more depth.

2. Add more tension: While Mike and Nancy talk about a sensitive topic, there is no real tension in the scene. Adding more conflict, like Nancy being defensive or Mike being aggressive, would make the scene more engaging.

3. Use more descriptive language: The dialogue is straightforward and lacks descriptive language. Adding more emotional words, like "devastated" or "violated," would help the audience connect more with Nancy's story.

4. Show character development: While Nancy's story is compelling, the scene does not show any character development. Adding some moments where Nancy shows her fear or determination would give the audience a better understanding of her character.

5. Add a twist: The scene is very predictable, and the audience can guess the outcome from the moment Nancy starts telling her story. Adding a twist, like someone overhearing their conversation or Mike finding a new lead on the case, would make the scene more exciting.



Scene 14 -  The Suit and The Subpoena
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. HARVEY’S OFFICE - LATER THAT AFTERNOON
Mike is updating Harvey on the case.

HARVEY
You need my help? Give me an update.

MIKE
You know, she’s a nice woman. She --

HARVEY
Not on the client. On the case. I don’t
get emotionally attached to the clients.

MIKE
This woman’s had her entire life ripped
apart. You don’t care?

HARVEY
I’m not about caring. I’m about winning.
A Legal Mind 42.


MIKE
Why can’t you be about both?

HARVEY
I’d explain it to you, but then I’d have
to care about you, now give me an update.

MIKE
Defense sent over the original files from
the investigation as a courtesy, but I --

HARVEY
No they didn’t. Nobody does anything as
a courtesy. They sent over those files
because that’s where they want you to
look. Listen to me, being a lawyer is
like being a doctor.

MIKE
You mean how you don’t get emotional
about the client?

HARVEY
No. I mean, you keep pressing until it
hurts, then you know where to look.
(then)
Forget about impeaching the investigation
- it won’t lead anywhere. No employee is
going to testify against his own CEO.

Mike smiles at this...

MIKE
What would you suggest I do?
HARVEY
Think. If this guy’s done this once...

MIKE
He’s done it before.

HARVEY
And if people who work for him now won’t
testify against him...

MIKE
People who used to work for him might.
(realizing)
If I can find someone else he’s done it
to, I’ve got corroboration, and I’ve got
him nailed.
A Legal Mind 43.


HARVEY
I’d subpoena the personnel records of
every woman who’s left the firm during
this guy’s tenure.

Mike smiles as he holds up a subpoena.

MIKE
That’s exactly what I thought.

HARVEY
Then what do you need my help for?

MIKE
I... don’t know how to fill out a
subpoena.

Harvey smiles and shakes his head. His boy is working out.

HARVEY (INTO INTERCOM)
Donna, I need you to show Mike how to
fill out a subpoena.

DONNA (ON INTERCOM)
No problem. After that you want me to
show him how to wipe his ass?

Harvey smiles, then looks at Mike.

HARVEY
It’s funny, because you should already
know how to do both those things.

Harvey slides a card across his desk to Mike.
MIKE
What’s this?

HARVEY
It’s my suit guy. Go in, tell him I sent
you, and spend some goddamn money.

Mike looks at the card.

MIKE
What does it matter how much money I
spend on suits?

HARVEY
Because we’re in the business of
convincing people to do what we want.
And like it or not, people respond to how
you’re dressed.
(MORE)
A Legal Mind 44.

HARVEY (CONT'D)
So if you want to be treated like you
belong at this level, this is what you’re
going to have to do.

MIKE
Hey, you’re giving me advice. It sounds
like you actually care about me.

HARVEY
What I want you to understand is that
you’re a reflection of me. And as I told
you before, I damn sure care about me.

INT. MIKE’S CUBICLE - A LITTLE LATER

Rachel approaches Mike as he puts his jacket on to leave...

RACHEL
Where are you going?

MIKE
It’s six o’clock. I’m going home.

Rachel laughs.

MIKE
What’s so funny?

RACHEL
You’re a rookie associate. If you go
home before nine on your first week, you
won’t make it through your first month.
(then)
Louis Litt wants to see you.
Mike gets up to go see Louis. He hesitates, then:

MIKE
Do you think this suit makes me look like
a Bar Mitzvah boy?
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Mike updates Harvey on the case and receives advice, including getting a new suit and a lesson on how to fill out a subpoena. Rachel warns him that rookie associates can't leave before 9 PM. Louis wants to meet with him.
Strengths
  • Sharp and witty dialogue
  • Insightful character development
Weaknesses
  • Lack of high stakes and conflict
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written with good dialogue and character development. However, one critique could be that the exposition is a bit heavy-handed in some parts. For example, when Harvey explains that being a lawyer is like being a doctor, the comparison feels obvious and unnecessary. Additionally, some of the dialogue feels a bit forced, particularly when Mike asks if his suit makes him look like a Bar Mitzvah boy. While clever, it feels like a forced attempt at humor. Overall, the scene works well to establish the characters and move the plot forward.
Suggestions Overall, the scene could benefit from more tension and conflict between Harvey and Mike. This will make the resolution of their dynamic more satisfying.

Here are some specific suggestions:

- Emphasize the power dynamic between Harvey and Mike. Right now, Mike is pushing back against Harvey, but it doesn't seem like Harvey is particularly threatened or challenged by him. Try to make it clearer that Mike is taking a risk by questioning Harvey's approach.

- Develop the subplot with Rachel more. Right now, it feels like it's just there to add a little bit of humor. You could explore Rachel's character more and show how her relationship with Mike is different from his relationship with Harvey.

- Add more conflict to the scene with Louis. It seems like Mike is just going to see Louis as a formality, so it would be more interesting if Louis had some demands or criticisms for him.

In general, it would be helpful to think about what each character wants in each scene and what obstacles are preventing them from getting it. That will give the scene more tension and make it feel like something is at stake.



Scene 15 -  Pearson Hardman's Expectations
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. LOUIS’S OFFICE - MINUTES LATER

Louis is at his desk. Mike sits across from him.

LOUIS
I know you had orientation from Rachel,
but I’d like to give you a special welcome
from me. Among other things, I’m sort of
the disciplinarian of the associates.

An associate, GARY appears at the door and addresses Louis.
A Legal Mind 45.


GARY
You wanted to see me?

LOUIS
Yes, please. Come on in, Gary. Mike,
this is Gary Lipsky. Gary’s one of our
promising associates from last year.

Mike and Gary shake hands.

LOUIS
Gary, Mr. Pearson wanted me to ask if
you’ve completed the Petramco filing.

GARY
My brother was in over the weekend...

LOUIS
This is third time I’ve asked you.

GARY
I’ll get right on it.

LOUIS
Don’t bother. You’re fired.

GARY
What?! You can’t --

Louis stands up.

LOUIS
I can. And I did. Go pack your things,
and don’t ever show your face here again.
Gary exits the office, stunned... Louis turns to Mike.

LOUIS
I arranged for you to see that because we
pay our associates very well and provide
the opportunity of unlimited advancement.
But in return we expect results. Have I
made myself clear?

MIKE
Yes.

LOUIS
Welcome to Pearson, Hardman.

Louis then reads a file as though Mike isn’t there. A beat.

LOUIS
Feel free to go back to work.
A Legal Mind 46.


INT. HARVEY’S OFFICE - LATER

Harvey exits for the night. He runs into Katherine...

KATHERINE
Harvey. How’s the new kid doing?

HARVEY
Pretty good.

KATHERINE
What do you have him working on?

Harvey doesn’t want to tell her he dropped the case on Mike.

HARVEY
This and that. Various matters.

Katherine looks at Harvey curiously...

INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - LATER THAT NIGHT

Mike comes home to find Trevor on his couch, watching TV.

MIKE
What the hell are you doing here?

TREVOR
Watching Sportscenter. Boo-yah.

Trevor gives Mike a big smile. Nothing. He gets serious.

TREVOR
You won’t return my calls.
MIKE
Yeah, because you set me up.

TREVOR
You think I knew about that?

MIKE
Here we go, round fifty of I get shafted,
because you didn’t know the whole story.

Now Trevor tries righteousness.

TREVOR
Hey, you knew there were risks when you
quoted that shit from that book. You
knew it, you needed the money, and I came
through with an opportunity like always.

Trevor realizes this tack won’t work. He goes for sympathy.
A Legal Mind 47.


TREVOR
You know, you’re not the only one who got
screwed. They held a gun on me.

MIKE
Oh, really? Why did they do that?

TREVOR
To keep me from warning you.

MIKE
So you did know.

TREVOR
Not until after it was too late.

MIKE
Well it’s damn sure too late now.

Mike holds the door open for Trevor to leave.

TREVOR
Let me make it up to you.

MIKE
You want to make it up? Give me my key.

TREVOR
(giving key, cajoling)
Mike, come on, you know I don’t want to
live in a world where we’re not tight.

MIKE
(sarcastic)
Then kill yourself. Now get the hell out.
Trevor exits. Mike checks for the briefcase. It’s there.
He opens it to make sure it’s still full of pot. It is...

END OF ACT THREE
A Legal Mind 48.


ACT FOUR

INT. MIKE’S CUBICLE - NEXT AFTERNOON

Mike opens an envelope, reads it and quickly heads off...
Genres: ["Legal Drama"]

Summary Louis warns Mike of the high expectations of the firm and fires an associate in his presence to exemplify his point. Harvey conceals the pro bono case assigned to Mike from Katherine and Mike's ex-best friend Trevor visits him to make amends, but their conversation doesn't go as Trevor had hoped.
Strengths
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Effective exposition of the law firm's expectations
  • Interesting conflict potential arising from the undisclosed pro bono case
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant character development
Critique The scene is well-written and effectively conveys the power dynamics and expectations within the law firm. Louis’s introduction of himself as the disciplinarian of associates adds depth to his character and establishes his authority. The firing of Gary is a clear example of the high stakes and expectations placed on associates, and emphasizes the cut-throat nature of the firm. The exchange between Harvey and Katherine hints at a larger story arc and builds intrigue for future episodes. The introduction of Trevor and the briefcase of pot adds an element of danger and potential consequences for Mike outside of his work at the law firm. Overall, the scene effectively advances the plot and develops the characters and setting.
Suggestions 1. Increase the tension: The firing scene feels a bit rushed and lacks emotional impact. To improve it, you could add more conflict between Louis and Gary, make Gary more desperate to keep his job, and show how Louis enjoys wielding his power. This will increase the tension and make the scene more engaging.

2. Show, don't tell: Instead of simply having Louis tell Mike that he's the "disciplinarian of the associates," show us his behavior and actions that demonstrate this. Also, instead of having Harvey simply say that Mike is doing "pretty good," show us some examples of Mike's great work.

3. Give Trevor more depth: Trevor feels like a one-dimensional character who is only there to introduce conflict. To add depth, you could explore the reasons for his behavior, show us what his life is like outside of his interactions with Mike, and give him a personal stake in the situation.

4. Use visual storytelling: The scene in Mike's cubicle is vague and doesn't provide any context for what's happening. To improve it, you could show Mike opening the envelope and reading it, then cut to him hurrying down the hall or rushing out of the building. This will provide visual clues for the audience and make the scene more dynamic.



Scene 16 -  The Pro Bono Case
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. HARVEY’S OFFICE/HALLWAY - LATER THAT AFTERNOON

Harvey leaves his office and passes Donna on the way out.

HARVEY
Donna, I need the --

She instantly hands him an envelope clearly full of cash.

HARVEY
Oh, also I didn’t get a chance to --

She gives him a coffee to go. A beat.

HARVEY
Marry me.

DONNA
I took care of that too. We’ve been
married for the last seven years.

Harvey smiles and heads out. Mike approaches, concerned.

MIKE
The company’s fighting the subpoena.
They filed a motion to dismiss the case
based on our lack of evidence.

Harvey doesn’t stop walking.
HARVEY
Good.

Mike stands there a beat, then walks after Harvey.

MIKE
Good. What do you mean good?

HARVEY
They don’t want to hand over the files.
You pressed where it hurt. You’re
looking in the right place.

Mike catches up. They keep walking to the elevators.

HARVEY
Did you think they wouldn’t fight back?
A Legal Mind 49.


MIKE
Well... I... now that you mention it.

HARVEY
It’s my fault. I keep forgetting you
don’t actually know anything. The idea
is you make a move, they make a move and
back and forth til one of you wins.

MIKE
But what if they win the motion and the
case gets dismissed?

Harvey arrives at the elevators and presses the down button.

HARVEY
Then you’re not as good as you think you
are.

The elevator door opens. Katherine is in it. She stays in
as the rest of the people file out...

KATHERINE
What a coincidence. I was just wondering
how it’s going with the pro bono case.

HARVEY
Fantastic, I’m all over it.

Katherine is now alone in the elevator. Harvey gets on.

KATHERINE
That makes me happy. Because if I were
to find out you weren’t giving it your
full effort, I would be very upset...
Concern registers on Harvey’s face as the door closes. Mike
turns to go back to his cubicle. He sees Rachel, catches up
to her and follows her through the halls back to her office.

MIKE
I need your help. There’s a hearing on
my subpoena.

RACHEL
I’ve got three other cases ahead of
yours, so you’ll have to wait in line.

MIKE
But my hearing is tomorrow.

She stops outside of her office and turns to Mike.
A Legal Mind 50.


RACHEL
Why are you coming to me?

MIKE
Because Donna says you’re the best
researcher in the firm.

RACHEL
Let me see the motion.

Mike hands it to her. She reads it as they enter her office.

INT. RACHEL’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Mike sees Rachel’s office is much nicer than his cubicle.

MIKE
Wait. You have an office? Why do you
have an office and I only have a cubicle?

Rachel smiles.

RACHEL
Like you said, I’m the best researcher in
the firm.

MIKE
Really? I just made that up. I didn’t
even have time to talk to Donna.

Mike smiles. Rachel isn’t amused.

RACHEL
Is this all a joke to you? Because I
take my job seriously.
MIKE
I’m sorry, I was just -- I care about
this woman. She’s got nowhere else to
turn and -- I can’t help her by myself.

Rachel looks at Mike and sees he’s sincere. He puts his
hands up to his head as though they are dog ears and then
flaps one of them over. Rachel breaks into a smile.

RACHEL
I get it. You’re a puppy. Do me a
favor, don’t poop on my laptop.

Rachel looks back down at the file, then back at Mike:

RACHEL
You’re asking to look at private files
without any evidence of your assertion.
A Legal Mind 51.


MIKE
But the only way we can find the evidence
is by looking at those files.

RACHEL
That’s a rickety argument.

MIKE
But is there precedent?

She sees a stack of files in her in-box, then looks at Mike.

RACHEL
Let’s go see if we can find one.
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Harvey and Mike discuss the pro bono case, while Rachel helps Mike with his case against Devlin McGreggor.
Strengths "Strong dialogue and character interactions"
Weaknesses "Low conflict and emotional impact"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and moves the plot forward. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.

Firstly, the dialogue between Harvey and Donna feels a bit rushed and lacks depth. It would be beneficial to include more context to their relationship and the reason for her handing over an envelope of cash and coffee. This would also add to the tension of the scene.

Secondly, the dialogue between Mike and Rachel feels a bit forced and could use more natural flow. The joke about being a puppy and not pooping on her laptop feels out of place in the scene and doesn't add to the overall plot. It would be better to focus on the legal argument and the research process.

Additionally, it would be helpful to add more visual descriptions to the scene, such as the surroundings of the hallway, the elevator, and Rachel's office, to give a better sense of the world and environment the characters are in.

Overall, this scene is a good example of advancing the plot and providing character development, but could benefit from more depth and natural dialogue.
Suggestions Some possible suggestions for improvement could include:

- Tightening up the dialogue: The scene feels a bit wordy and could benefit from trimming some of the excess dialogue. For example, the exchange where Donna gives Harvey an envelope of cash and a coffee feels unnecessary and doesn't add much to the scene.

- Adding more conflict/tension: The scene could benefit from more tension or conflict between the characters, particularly in regards to the case they are working on. The stakes of the case don't feel very high right now, so adding more urgency or complications could make the scene more engaging.

- Showing more of the characters' emotions: Right now, much of the dialogue feels very matter-of-fact and doesn't give us a great sense of the characters' emotional states. Adding more moments where we see how the characters feel about what's happening would make the scene more dynamic and engaging.

- Clarifying the purpose/goals of the scene: At the moment, it's not entirely clear what the purpose of this scene is or what the characters are trying to accomplish. Adding more clarity to this could help the scene feel more purposeful and structured.



Scene 17 -  Researching and Strategizing
  • Overall: 8.5
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. PEARSON, HARDMAN LIBRARY - A LITTLE LATER

Mike and Rachel enter a miniature version of the Harvard Law
library. Highly sophisticated, well stocked and beautiful.

RACHEL
Research is as much art as science, we’ll
look at privacy and harassment law and
see if we can find a combination of cases
to make an argument. I’ll take privacy.

MIKE
I’ll take harassment law...

RACHEL
This’ll take a while. We need dinner.

MIKE
Chinese?
RACHEL
I can afford Chinese myself. This is on
the firm, I want sushi.

We see a montage of them reading books, journals, etc... They
show each other what they’ve found and shake their heads, it
won’t work. Dinner comes... as they finish their sushi.

MIKE
Remember when I said you thought you were
too smart to be a paralegal?... Why --

RACHEL
-- aren’t I a lawyer?

Rachel looks at Mike and decides to reveal her vulnerability.

RACHEL
I don’t test well.
A Legal Mind 52.


MIKE
What?

RACHEL
I’m smart, I know I’d be a good lawyer,
but... I can’t take tests. I don’t know
what happens to me. I bombed the LSAT’s.
Even if I could get into a law school,
there’s no way I’d ever pass the bar.
(wistfully)
If only there were some way to have
someone take the tests for me.

Mike laughs.

MIKE
Yeah, if only there were.

Harvey walks in and sees them smiling at each other.

HARVEY
Where are you on the research for
tomorrow’s hearing?

MIKE
Nothing yet.

HARVEY
You say you care about the client. But
if you keep playing footsie with the
paralegal instead of finding me a valid
argument, the client’s going to lose.

Harvey exits. We resume the montage of Mike and Rachel
working. Again, nothing is working. More frustration.
RACHEL
It’s no use. They did an investigation
and they did it by the book. It produced
no evidence, and we look like the bad
guys coming in putting them under duress.

MIKE
Wait a second, what did you say?

RACHEL
I said we look like the bad guys.

MIKE
No. You said they did it by the book,
and we’re putting them under duress.

RACHEL
So?
A Legal Mind 53.


MIKE
They didn’t do it by the book. The
investigation was done under duress...

Mike picks up one of the books and shows it to Rachel...

EXT. ROOFTOP RESTAURANT - A LITTLE LATER

Harvey eats with VANESSA, a gorgeous woman in a killer dress.

HARVEY
So, we get there and my client decides
it’ll be funny to introduce me to his
pastor as a recovering sex addict.

VANESSA
What did you do?

HARVEY
I hold out my hand to the pastor and go,
“Who said anything about recovering?”

Vanessa laughs. They share a moment... then:

VANESSA
I believe you have something for me?

HARVEY
That’s what I love about you, Vanessa.
Business over pleasure.

Harvey puts the envelope of cash Donna gave him on the table.

HARVEY
By the way, that dress... damn.
VANESSA
This old thing? It was my father’s.

Vanessa counts the money in the envelope and puts it away.

HARVEY
Vanessa, how come you and I never...

VANESSA
Because I don’t sleep around. And I
could never have a relationship with you.
All you ever think about is yourself.

HARVEY
That’s ridiculous. I’m thinking about
you and me right now.

Vanessa smiles and shakes her head as she gets up to leave.
A Legal Mind 54.


HARVEY
By the way, I’m not selfish everywhere.

VANESSA
Neither am I. But you’ll never know it.

Vanessa hands Harvey a manila folder and heads off. Harvey
watches her go, then looks opens the folder and looks inside.

INT. HARVEY’S OFFICE - NEXT MORNING

Mike stands as Harvey peruses his handiwork.

HARVEY
This is good. We’re gonna have some fun.

MIKE
Did... you say we?

HARVEY
You didn’t think I was going to let you
come along?

MIKE
No.

HARVEY
Good instinct, I wasn’t. Then I thought
it would be cruel not to let you witness
my greatness.

Mike smiles.

MIKE
You’re a true giver.
Genres: ["Legal drama"]

Summary Mike and Rachel work together to try to build a case against Devlin McGreggor, but their efforts are in vain. After their hard work, Harvey comes in and decides to help them out.
Strengths "Strong dialogue and character development"
Weaknesses "Lack of action"
Critique Overall, I think this scene could benefit from some more tension and conflict to keep the audience engaged. While it's important to see Mike and Rachel working together and developing their relationship, the montage of them doing research and finding nothing can feel a bit slow. Additionally, the scene with Harvey and Vanessa feels somewhat disconnected from the rest of the action and doesn't add much to the story.

One way to add more tension could be to make the research more urgent — perhaps they only have a short amount of time before the hearing, or there's a high-stakes reason why they need to win the case. This could also help to highlight the pressure Harvey is putting on them to find a valid argument. Additionally, revealing Rachel's vulnerability about not testing well could add more depth to her character and make her more relatable, but I think this moment could benefit from more emotional weight and impact. It's a big revelation for her, and the scene could take more time to explore her feelings and thoughts on the matter.

Overall, I think this scene could benefit from some tightening up and sharper focus on the central conflict and character development.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. More description: While the scene does describe the library and the rooftop restaurant, adding more visual details can enhance the setting and add depth to the scene. For example, describing the lighting, the color scheme, and the decor of the locations can give the scene more texture.

2. Develop the characters: While the dialogue between Mike and Rachel is functional in moving the plot forward, there is little development of their characters and personalities. Adding more personal details about them or their backstories can make the audience care more about their journey and struggles. Also, fleshing out Harvey's personality, and motivations can make him a more complex character.

3. Add more conflict: While the scene does have some tension, primarily in the form of Harvey's threats and the frustration of the characters with their research, adding more conflict can raise the stakes and make the scene more engaging. For example, introducing a love triangle or a more significant obstacle to the research can add more tension to the scene.

4. Use visual storytelling: Rather than relying solely on dialogue, using visuals to convey the story can make the scene more cinematic. For example, instead of showing a montage of the characters reading, show close-ups of their expressions as they read and make notes. Using visualization can make the scene more engaging.

5. Cut unnecessary dialogue: While the dialogue does move the plot forward, sometimes less is more. Cutting down on extraneous dialogue and making the exchanges between characters more concise and impactful can improve the pacing of the scene and keep the audience engaged.



Scene 18 -  Courtroom Victory and Suit Shopping
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 10
INT. COURTROOM - NEXT DAY

Harvey, Mike and DEFENSE COUNSEL are arguing the motion to
dismiss in front of a JUDGE, BAILIFF and STENOGRAPHER...

DEFENSE COUNSEL
Your honor, this case should be thrown
out. Other than her story, plaintiff
doesn't have one piece of evidence.

HARVEY
Because the evidence lies within their
personnel files, which they’re
conveniently refusing to hand over.
A Legal Mind 55.


DEFENSE COUNSEL
Those files have sensitive information.
He's fishing at the expense of our
employees’ right to privacy.

Harvey scoffs.

HARVEY
Please, he doesn't give a rat's ass about
his employees' right to privacy.

DEFENSE COUNSEL
Your honor, Mr. Specter’s claim that we
don’t care about our employees, though
witty, carries no weight as a rule of law.

HARVEY
True. But what does carry weight is that
under Article Seven of the statute, the
investigation of sexual harassment must
be conducted without any duress.

JUDGE
Your point?

Harvey walks the courtroom with ease as he makes his case.

HARVEY
Both the investigator and every person
interviewed answers to the CEO they're
investigating. That is the definition of
duress. It’d be like your bailiff accused
you of sexual harassment, and you assigned
your stenographer to investigate. How
likely do you think it would be that the
investigation yielded any fruit?

JUDGE
You honestly think I would harass Herman?

Harvey looks at the bailiff, a slovenly, fifty year old man.

HARVEY
I don’t know, your honor. Some people
have a thing for the uniform...

JUDGE
I’d like to think Herman would come to me
before it got to an investigation.

Harvey glances at Herman. Herman shakes his head no.

DEFENSE COUNSEL
I saw that. That should be stricken.
A Legal Mind 56.


Harvey smiles, then continues to the Judge.

HARVEY
And what if Herman did come to you, your
honor? And you betrayed his trust by
firing him under false pretenses?

JUDGE
You really think that little of me?

HARVEY
I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could
throw you, your honor.

They share a smile.

JUDGE
Your point is taken.

DEFENSE COUNSEL
Your honor --

JUDGE
Hand over the files.

Mike beams with their victory. The Judge addresses Harvey.

JUDGE
But this doesn't go on forever. You've
got one week to show me evidence backing
up your claim or I'm dismissing the suit.

HARVEY
But, your honor --
JUDGE
That’s it, I’ve made my ruling, now Herman
and I have some communicating to do.

Mike turns to Harvey.

MIKE
That was awesome.

HARVEY
It was your argument. I just framed it
in a way that humanized the situation and
brightened all of our afternoons.

MIKE
I feel like Michael Corleone in that
scene where the fat guy teaches him how
to shoot the gun.
A Legal Mind 57.


HARVEY
Are you saying I’m the fat guy?
(then)
I am not the fat guy.

INT. UPSCALE MENS STORE - LATER THAT AFTERNOON

Mike walks into a world he never knew existed. The world’s
finest suits are on display. He approaches RENE, who looks
him up and down in a condescending manner.

MIKE
Excuse me, I’m looking for Rene.

RENE
I’m Rene. When’s the Bar Mitzvah?

MIKE
Did Harvey tell you I was coming here?

Rene looks at him with newfound respect.

RENE
Harvey Specter sent you? That’s another
story. Do you know your inseam?

Mike is amused at the notion that he would know his inseam.

MIKE
No, I don’t.

RENE
My lucky day. Why don’t you browse for a
minute. The suits are arranged by price.
Starting with the least expensive here
and moving up in price as you go back.

Rene exits. Mike picks up an “inexpensive” suit. He sees
the price: $2,000. He puts it back and walks out the door.

EXT. MANHATTAN STREET - CONTINUOUS

Mike exits quickly. He sees Rene prancing toward the front
window holding ten thousand dollars of clothing. Mike smiles
to himself at his getaway. His cell phone rings, he answers.

JENNY
Mike, it’s Jenny.

MIKE
Trevor’s having you do his dirty work?
A Legal Mind 58.


JENNY
Trevor doesn’t even know I’m calling you.
And all I know is that you’re not talking
to each other and I miss you and I want
things to go back to the way they were.

This stops Mike short.

MIKE
I miss you too. But I don’t think things
are ever going back the way they were.

Mike hangs up the phone.
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Harvey and Mike argue a motion to dismiss in court, ultimately winning their case. Mike then goes shopping for a new suit with Harvey's recommendation, but is shocked by the prices. Meanwhile, he receives a call from his ex-girlfriend Jenny, who misses him.
Strengths "The witty, confident dialogue of the characters, particularly Harvey. The portrayal of the high stakes and pressure of working in a high-end law firm. The successful argument in court that gains access to key files. "
Weaknesses "The scene does not advance the overarching plot of the show and relies on character development instead, which may be a negative for some viewers. "
Critique The scene is well-written and moves the plot forward. The dialogue is engaging and conveys the arguments convincingly. The use of humor adds a light touch to the serious nature of the courtroom drama. The character dynamics and relationships are also established through the interactions between Harvey, Mike, and the judge. The scene also includes a subplot involving Mike's personal life, adding another layer of depth to his character. Overall, an effective and engaging scene.
Suggestions Some possible suggestions to improve this scene are:

- Consider starting the scene in media res, with a more active conflict or tension already established, rather than just characters arguing a motion in court. For example, perhaps they are presenting conflicting evidence or witnesses, or the judge is already skeptical of their case. This could make the scene more engaging and dynamic, and showcase the characters' skills and personalities in a more immediate way.

- Try to vary the pacing and tone of the scene more. While the dialogue is sharp and witty, it can sometimes feel a bit repetitive and one-note. Consider adding some moments of silence, pauses, or beats to allow the characters' emotions and reactions to sink in. Also, think about how to change the mood or momentum of the scene, such as by introducing a surprise, a setback, or a turning point.

- Explore the characters' personal stakes and motivations more deeply. While the scene is primarily concerned with legal and procedural matters, there could be more room to reveal what drives Harvey, Mike, and the others on a deeper level. For instance, what do they hope to gain from winning this case? What personal experiences or values inform their arguments and actions? How do they feel about each other, the judge, or the defendant? By adding more layers of complexity and depth to the scene, it can resonate more with the audience and feel more satisfying.

- Consider tightening up the transition or connection between the courtroom scene and the menswear store scene. While the juxtaposition of the two settings is visually and tonally striking, the sudden switch can also feel a bit jarring and disconnected. Perhaps there could be a more organic or logical reason for Mike to leave the courthouse and visit the store (e.g. to celebrate a victory, to impress a potential client, to investigate a lead, etc.), or a clearer link between the two scenes thematically or symbolically. This can help the scene feel more cohesive and integrated.



Scene 19 -  Negotiations and Revelations
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 10
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. TREVOR STEVENS’ CONDOMINIUM

We see that Jenny is sitting there with Trevor.

TREVOR
What did he say?

JENNY
He said things aren’t ever going back the
way they were. What did you do?

A beat. Trevor lies.

TREVOR
I don’t know.

INT. RACHEL’S OFFICE - A LITTLE LATER

Rachel is at her desk. Mike enters.

MIKE
The files are on their way. We have a
week to corroborate Nancy’s story.

RACHEL
We won?! That’s fantastic!

MIKE
I couldn’t have done it without you.

RACHEL
Damn right, you couldn’t have. You didn’t
even know where to look without me.

MIKE
You know, nobody likes a show-off.

Rachel smiles. Her intercom buzzes, she listens, then:
A Legal Mind 59.


RACHEL
The files are in conference room C.

MIKE
Why didn’t they bring them to my cubicle?

INT. AUXILIARY CONFERENCE ROOM - LATER

Mike shows up. The conference room is filled with boxes upon
boxes. Mike looks at them all as Harvey approaches.

HARVEY
They know you only have a week to find
whoever it is you’re looking for.

MIKE
They’re fighting back.

HARVEY
They’re trying to bury you in paperwork.

Mike looks at Harvey with confidence.

MIKE
They picked the wrong guy.

HARVEY
That’s what I like to hear. Now excuse
me, I have to go charm a new client.

INT. JOHN DOCKERY’S OFFICE - A LITTLE LATER

John Dockery, CEO of Dockery Chemical shakes Harvey’s hand.

DOCKERY
Nice to finally meet you. Katherine says
you’re going to sweep me off my feet.

HARVEY
I’ll do my best, Mr. Dockery.

Harvey hands him the manila folder from Vanessa, he opens it.

DOCKERY
What the hell is this?

HARVEY
Looks to me like it’s you having sex with
a woman who isn’t Mrs. Dockery.

DOCKERY
Are you trying to blackmail me?!
A Legal Mind 60.


HARVEY
No, I’m not. You asked my firm to see
where you’re vulnerable to corporate take-
over. This is where you’re vulnerable.

DOCKERY
What are you --

HARVEY
Your wife owns fifteen percent of the
voting shares of your company. As far as
I can tell, you’ve been seeing this woman
and several others for quite some time.
How do you think your wife’s going to
vote her shares after she finds out?

A beat:

DOCKERY
Who says she has to find out?

HARVEY
Mr. Dockery, my investigator was able to
obtain these pictures in a week. What do
you think a motivated competitor of yours
will be able to dig up in a year?

This lands on Dockery. Harvey pours two glasses of water.

HARVEY (CONT’D)
I have a simple solution. Trade her your
preferred shares, which have no voting
rights for her common shares, which do.

DOCKERY
The preferred shares are worth two
million dollars more.

HARVEY
A fraction of what you’ll lose if you get
voted out of your company.

Harvey offers a glass to Dockery. A beat.

DOCKERY
You looking down your nose at me?

HARVEY
John, please, I don’t care if you sleep
with the entire Knick’s dancers. Just
give her the preferred shares.

Harvey smiles. Dockery takes the glass.
A Legal Mind 61.


DOCKERY
Katherine said you were going to charm me
to get my business.

HARVEY
I’m not interested in getting your
business. I’m interested in keeping it.

Harvey and Dockery share a drink.
Genres: ["Legal drama","Romance"]

Summary Harvey helps Mike and Rachel with their case against Devlin McGregor while also handling a sensitive matter with a new client, John Dockery. Jenny calls Mike while he is shopping for a suit after winning the case with Rachel's help.
Strengths "The scene shows Harvey's expertise in handling delicate cases with great finesse and strategy. The dialogue is sharp and engaging between the characters."
Weaknesses "The scene could have benefited from more emotional depth and character development for Mike and Rachel."
Critique The scene consists of multiple locations, characters, and conversations that don't necessarily connect to each other. It jumps from Trevor and Jenny's conversation to Rachel and Mike in the office, then to Mike in the conference room and Harvey in Dockery's office. The transitions are abrupt and don't flow smoothly, making it seem like disconnected scenes put together.

Additionally, there is not much character development or emotional depth in the dialogue. The conversations are mostly focused on advancing the plot, such as the case against Nancy, Dockery's vulnerability to a corporate takeover, and Harvey's plan to save his company. The characters' personalities and motivations feel one-dimensional and superficial, lacking complexity and depth.

The scene could benefit from a clearer and more coherent structure and a deeper exploration of character motivation and emotions. The dialogue could focus more on character interaction and development, rather than just plot advancement. The pacing could be slowed down to allow more nuance and complexity in the performances and dialogue.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions:

- For the first scene, we need to know a bit more about the characters and their relationships. Who is Jenny? How does she know Trevor? Do they have a romantic history? Without this context, it's hard to understand the significance of their conversation.
- The dialogue in the first scene could use some work. It feels a bit too on-the-nose and clichéd. Could there be a more creative way for Trevor to lie to Jenny or for Jenny to react to his lie?
- In the second scene, it might be helpful to establish why Nancy's story is important and what the consequences will be if they can't corroborate it.
- The banter between Rachel and Mike in the second scene feels a bit forced and unnatural. It's clear that they have a good working relationship, but the dialogue could use some more nuance and subtlety.
- The scene with Dockery has some good tension, but it might benefit from a bit more buildup. Why is Harvey meeting with him in the first place? What does he hope to accomplish? Providing a bit more context could make the payoff more satisfying.



Scene 20 -  Investigating Devlin McGreggor
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. HARVEY’S OFFICE - NEXT EVENING

Mike enters. He’s been up all night and all the next day.

MIKE
I know where they don’t want us to look.

HARVEY
You got through those files by yourself
in a day and a half?

MIKE
I would have done it faster, but I
ordered a pizza. Have you tried that
Papa John’s crazy bread? It’s fantastic.
(off look, coming clean)
Rachel helped me. Half the files were
men. Another chunk were women over
sixty. I read the rest.

Harvey smiles at Mike trying to pull one over on him.

MIKE
Come on, it’s still impressive!
HARVEY
What did you find?

MIKE
We pieced together from the records there
was a dismissal on March 12, 2002. But
the file containing the employee name is
missing. That’s our woman, I know it.
I’m moving to slap monetary sanctions on
their attorney, possible jail time...
this guy isn’t gonna know what hit him.

A beat. Harvey dials his phone. It rings on speaker.

HARVEY
Phil, it’s Harvey Specter. Did you have
anything to do with the March 12th, 2002
files being left out of discovery?
A Legal Mind 62.


PHIL (ON SPEAKER)
No.

HARVEY
If the file is here by noon, I’ll believe
you, if not we’re filing for sanctions...

Harvey hangs up the phone and looks at Mike.

HARVEY
Threat of sanctions is better than filing
for sanctions.

MIKE
That’s what I meant. I was going to
threaten him. Not file. I meant that.

INT. DINER - LATER THAT DAY

Mike sits with Nancy again...

MIKE
Nancy, did you know, or have you ever
heard of a woman named Joanna Webster?

NANCY
No. Not that I can think of. Why?

MIKE
The company tried to hide her existence
from us. Her records show she met with
personnel over “work related issues,” in
2002, then was let go two months later.

NANCY
You think Hunt did the same thing to her
that he did to me?

MIKE
Yes, I do.

NANCY
Then get her to come forward and say so.

Mike knows that’s not going to be easy.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - LATER THAT EVENING

Mike knocks on the door of an apartment. A woman, JOANNA
WEBSTER answers, she looks surprisingly similar to Nancy.

JOANNA
Can I help you?
A Legal Mind 63.


MIKE
Joanna Webster, my name is Mike Ross, I’m
a lawyer. I have some questions about
your time at Devlin McGreggor.

Joanna hesitates.

MIKE
Please, just let me tell you a story
about my client, Nancy Johnson...

INT. JOANNA’S LIVING ROOM - A LITTLE LATER

Mike and Joanna sit, he’s clearly just told her about Nancy.

JOANNA
That sounds about the same as what
happened to me. But --

MIKE
Please, all I need you to do is tell your
story. If you corroborate Nancy’s --

JOANNA
Mr. Ross, what happened to me, happened
seven years ago. It was violating and
horrible and there was a reason I didn’t
do anything about it. I know what they
do. They’ll put me on that stand and
attack me and I don’t want that.

MIKE
Joanna, this man is a predator. He did
it to you, he did it to Nancy, and if you
don’t help stop him, he’ll do it again.
Mike takes her hand.

MIKE
I’ll be with you every step of the way.
All you have to do is give a deposition
tomorrow, and then testify again on
Friday in front of the judge.

JOANNA
I’m sorry, I can’t do it.

Mike’s face falls...
Genres: ["Legal drama"]

Summary Mike and Harvey discuss the progress they’ve made while investigating Devlin McGregor, and recruit another woman who was a victim of his harassment to testify. She initially declines, leaving Mike disappointed.
Strengths "The scene builds on the momentum of the investigation and emphasizes the difficulty in bringing victims forward. The dialogue between Mike and Joanna is particularly powerful and highlights the emotional aspects of the story."
Weaknesses "There is some repetition in the dialogue between Mike and Harvey that could have been trimmed."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and includes clear and concise dialogue that moves the plot forward. The characters' motivations, emotions, and reactions feel authentic and drive the tension of the scene. However, there are a few areas for improvement.

Firstly, the scene relies heavily on exposition to move the story forward, which can make it feel a bit heavy-handed and could have been presented more organically. Additionally, the tone of the scene feels slightly inconsistent. At times, it's quite light-hearted, with humorous banter between Harvey and Mike about pizza. However, the topic at hand is quite serious and could have been handled with a bit more gravity.

Finally, the character of Joanna could have been developed a bit more. Her backstory and motivations could have been explored more to help the audience understand her decision not to testify. Overall, the scene works well, but could have benefited from a bit more subtlety and nuance.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is well-written and has clear character motivations and conflicts. However, here are some suggestions to improve it:

1. Show, don't tell: In the beginning of the scene, Mike tells Harvey about the files he found. Instead of telling us what he found, show us the evidence. This could be done through visuals or dialogue with Mike and Harvey discussing the details.

2. Increase tension: The scene feels too easy and lacking in tension. Add more conflict or obstacles for Mike and Joanna to overcome. This will make the resolution more satisfying and impactful.

3. Develop Joanna's character: Joanna is an important character, yet we don't know anything about her other than her connection to the case. Consider adding more depth to her character by giving her a backstory or more personality traits.

4. Emphasize the stakes: Although the consequences of the case are mentioned, the script could benefit from emphasizing the stakes of their actions. This could be done through greater consequences or showing the impact the case will have on their lives and careers.

Overall, the scene has potential but could be improved with more attention to detail and character development.



Scene 21 -  Betrayal and Testimony
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. HARVEY’S OFFICE - LATER THAT NIGHT

Harvey is working late at his desk. Mike enters and slumps
into a chair, completely dejected...
A Legal Mind 64.


HARVEY
What happened with the witness?

Mike becomes instantly excited:

MIKE
I got her to testify! You should’ve seen
me. I threw everything at her. Told her
if she didn’t stop him he’d do it again,
I’d be with her every step of the way...

Mike holds out his arms to Harvey in amazement.

MIKE
It didn’t work! I was done. I had
nothing. Then it hit me, I asked her
what if it was her daughter she was
testifying for... she melted. I used
empathy to get her to testify.
(starts singing)
Testify. Testify. She’s gonna testify.

A beat. Harvey looks at Mike:

HARVEY
Well, I’m glad to see the fact that you
were up all night didn’t make you giddy.
(smiles, then)
Now go get some sleep. I don’t want you
singing during tomorrow’s deposition.

Mike leaves. Harvey smiles to himself as Katherine enters...

KATHERINE
Harvey, how’s it going with the pro bono?
HARVEY
I just talked a witness into testifying.

KATHERINE
Really? What’s the witness’s name?

A moment. Harvey has no idea of the answer. He’s caught...

KATHERINE
I’m not an idiot. Don’t treat me like
one. You pawned off the case.

HARVEY
I’m sorry you feel that way, but --
A Legal Mind 65.


KATHERINE
Damn it Harvey, I told you this was a way
for you to show that you thought about
more than just yourself.

HARVEY
I’ve got higher profile cases that --

KATHERINE
Need I remind you when we met, you were a
28 year old screw up? I gave you a shot
at the mail room, led you up the ranks to
paralegal, then paid for you to go to
Harvard Law. Where by the way you fucked
off the whole time and I still hired you.

HARVEY
And you’ve benefitted from that ever
since. I closed Dockery for you
yesterday and I can’t make time to --

KATHERINE
You made a promise to me! You made a
promise, you broke it, and then you lied
to my face. So, let me be clear, this
isn’t professional, this is personal.
And I’ll tell you something else, you
made your bed, you better goddamn win.

Katherine leaves. Harvey realizes he let his mentor down...

INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - LATER THAT NIGHT

Mike enters his apartment, elated. It’s been ransacked.
END OF ACT FOUR
A Legal Mind 66.


ACT FIVE

INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Mike surveys his ransacked apartment. A beat, he runs to the
oven, the briefcase is still there. He dials his cell...

MIKE
What the hell is wrong with you?

TREVOR
I need you to give me that briefcase
back.

MIKE
So that’s what this has all been about.
You don’t care about our friendship. You
just wanted the briefcase back.

TREVOR
That’s not true. You’re my oldest friend
and you know it. But you don’t seem to
care about that anymore, so, yes, I also
need the briefcase back.

MIKE
That’s too bad, because I don’t have it.

TREVOR
Who throws something like that away?

MIKE
I do. And by the way, I thought I had
you give me my key back.
TREVOR
You think I wouldn’t have made a backup?
Mike, come on, why are you playing games?

MIKE
I told you. I don’t have it. I ditched
it while I was running away from the cops
you sent me into.

TREVOR
I don’t believe you. You can’t --

Mike hangs up the phone.

INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - NEXT MORNING

Mike is dressed. He goes to the oven, opens it, takes out
the briefcase, and heads out to work with it...
A Legal Mind 67.


INT. PEARSON, HARDMAN LAW FIRM - LAW FIRM

Mike exits the elevator. As he passes the receptionist...

LOUIS (O.S.)
Mike, hold it right there.

Mike freezes. He turns around to see Louis Litt.

LOUIS
Where do you think you’re going?

A beat.

MIKE
To my cubicle.

LOUIS
No, you’re not. It’s pee in a cup time.

MIKE
What?

LOUIS
Drug test. Follow me.

MIKE
No problem.

Mike hesitates. He looks down at his briefcase.

MIKE
I’m just gonna put my things back at my --

LOUIS
Now.

Louis starts walking. Mike isn’t sure what to do. A beat.
Mike follows Louis to the elevator.

INT. PEARSON, HARDMAN LAW FIRM - ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Mike and Louis ride the elevator down in silence. Ding. The
door opens. They exit into a significantly less polished
floor of the firm.
Genres: ["drama"]

Summary Mike successfully convinces a hesitant witness to testify against Devlin McGregor using empathy, while Harvey struggles with the pressure from his mentor and a personal matter involving a ransacked apartment. Mike also deals with the aftermath of losing a crucial briefcase to his former friend Trevor.
Strengths "The use of empathy is a fresh and unique element to the scene, as well as the personal struggles of the characters. Dialogue is sharp and well-written, with tension building towards the end."
Weaknesses "The scene has a lot going on, with multiple plotlines to follow. The scene may also feel rushed towards the end, with little resolution for each of the storylines."
Critique Overall, this scene has strong elements of tension, conflict, and character development, but it could benefit from tighter dialogue and clearer stakes for the characters.

The opening exchange between Harvey and Mike is effective in showing Mike's emotional state and Harvey's dispassionate response, but the dialogue feels a bit clunky at times (e.g. "I threw everything at her. Told her / if she didn’t stop him he’d do it again"). Additionally, the stakes of the witness testimony aren't quite clear - we know Harvey is working on a pro bono case, but we don't know what the consequences will be if the witness doesn't testify.

The conversation between Harvey and Katherine is much more sharply written, with clear stakes and emotional resonance. However, some of the lines feel a bit forced (e.g. "this isn't professional, this is personal"). The scene effectively illustrates Harvey's character flaws and his complicated dynamic with Katherine, but the dialogue could be more nuanced.

The scene with Mike and Trevor is a bit repetitive, as they seem to be having the same argument they've been having throughout the show. However, the twist with Mike retrieving the briefcase from the oven is a nice touch, and suggests that there may be more at stake than just their friendship.

Overall, this scene could benefit from some tightening of the dialogue, as well as clearer stakes for the characters. However, the tension and emotional depth of the scene are solid, and it effectively moves the plot forward.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene is to add more visual description and action. Instead of just having two characters talking in an office, consider adding in more movement or reactions to the dialogue. For example, when Katherine gets angry at Harvey, have him physically react to her anger, like stepping back or looking down. This will make the scene more dynamic and engaging for the audience.

Another suggestion is to give the characters more distinct voices and personalities. Right now, Harvey and Katherine both sound very similar in tone and dialogue style. Consider giving them different speech patterns or word choices to make them stand out as unique individuals.

Finally, consider adding in more suspense or tension to the scene. It's implied that the ransacking of Mike's apartment is related to the case, but there's no real buildup or sense of urgency leading up to that reveal. Try adding in hints or clues earlier in the script to build anticipation for the twist.



Scene 22 -  Deposition Disaster
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
INT. PEARSON, HARDMAN - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

Mike nervously follows Louis into the bowels of the firm.
Their feet click as they make their way down the hall.
A Legal Mind 68.


LOUIS
By the way, my cousin was your year at
Harvard. It’s funny. I asked if he
remembered you. He didn’t.

MIKE
What’s his name?

LOUIS
Mitch Samberg.

Another beat.

MIKE
Didn’t know him... big school.

Louis looks at Mike, “not that big.” Then he stops, opens a
door and motions for Mike to go through.

LOUIS
Time to face the music.

INT. DONNA’S DESK - SAME

Harvey approaches Donna. He’s a little anxious.

HARVEY
Donna, they’re on the way for Mike’s
deposition. I’ve got to get to the
Kendrick filing. Where the hell is Mike?

DONNA
I don’t know.

Harvey nervously paces back to his office.
INT. DRUG TESTING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Mike and Louis enter. The room looks like the examination
room in a doctor’s office. There is a technician there, who
hands Mike a plastic cup and indicates a bathroom.

TECHNICIAN
Leave the cup on the counter.

Mike leaves the room: The technician points at his briefcase.

TECHNICIAN
You’ll have to leave that out here.

MIKE
Why?
A Legal Mind 69.


TECHNICIAN
If you take it in there with you, I have
to check to make sure you don’t have
another urine sample in it.

Mike looks at Louis, sets the briefcase down and enters the
bathroom. Louis looks at the briefcase suspiciously...

INT. DRUG TESTING ROOM - MINUTES LATER

Mike exits the bathroom. He sees Louis is gone. He breathes
a sign of relief, picks up the briefcase and exits.

INT. MIKE’S CUBICLE - MINUTES LATER

Mike enters his cubicle, opens a desk drawer, puts the
briefcase in it, closes the drawer and locks it.

HARVEY (O.S.)
Where have you been?

Mike is startled again. He turns to see Harvey.

MIKE
I was being drug tested. Why?

HARVEY
The deposition’s this afternoon. I’m
going to handle it. I want you to dig
into this woman’s background and find
anything they’ll use against her. And
grill her. Make her tell you everything.
I want to be prepared. Now go...

Mike picks up his other briefcase and heads off.
INT. PEARSON, HARDMAN LAW FIRM - CONFERENCE ROOM - LATER

Harvey, Mike, the Defense Attorney, Joanna and a STENOGRAPHER
are all there. Joanna takes a deep breath.

JOANNA
I’d been working for Mr. Hunt six months
when he started asking me to work late,
order dinner... One night, late, he...
tried to sleep with me. The next day, I
went to HR to request a change of
assignment. And two months later I was
fired for having a bad attitude.

Defense Counsel starts in...
A Legal Mind 70.


DEFENSE COUNSEL
Ms. Webster, after working for Devlin
McGreggor, you went on to waitress at
Hooters, did you not?

JOANNA
Yes, I did.

DEFENSE COUNSEL
A place that advertises the sexuality of
its waitresses to get business?

JOANNA
You’ll have to ask them that.

DEFENSE COUNSEL
I’m asking you.

HARVEY
And she’s not answering. It has no
relevance. Let’s move on.

Mike looks at Joanna reassuringly.

DEFENSE COUNSEL
Ms. Webster, are you a truthful person?

JOANNA
Yes.

DEFENSE COUNSEL
When you said earlier that you’d never
been arrested for a crime, were you
telling the truth then?
JOANNA
Yes.

Defense counsel holds up a folder.

DEFENSE COUNSEL
In 1999 you weren’t arrested for stealing
a thousand dollars worth of jewelry from
the Willow Grove mall in Pennsylvania?

Joanna’s face falls. Mike looks at Harvey, “Oh, shit.”

JOANNA
I was seventeen. It was one mistake.
Those records were supposed to be sealed.
A Legal Mind 71.


DEFENSE COUNSEL
So, when you say those records were
sealed, what you mean is that you thought
you could get away with a lie?

JOANNA
No, that’s not it. I knew you would
twist it around and make it seem
different that it is.

DEFENSE COUNSEL
You’ve been arrested in your past. Then
you lied about it under oath. Is that
making it seem different than what it is?

Joanna looks at Mike and Harvey. They can’t help her.

DEFENSE COUNSEL
No answer? Then I ask this, since you
lied here once, what’s to make us believe
you’re not lying about Mr. Hunt?

Joanna runs out of the room. Mike looks at Harvey.

HARVEY
Fix it.

Mike runs out after Joanna.
Genres: ["Legal Drama"]

Summary Mike accompanies Joanna to a deposition, where she faces tough questioning. Her past is brought up, and the Defense Counsel questions her credibility. Joanna runs out of the room in distress, and Mike runs after her.
Strengths "The tension created in the scene is palpable and keeps the audience on the edge of their seats. The characters are complex and engaging, and the plot developments keep the story moving forward."
Weaknesses "The dialogue could be stronger and more impactful. Some plot points feel a bit contrived."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys tension and suspense. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved.

Firstly, some of the dialogue could be more concise and less on-the-nose. For example, when Louis says "not that big" in response to Mike's comment about not knowing his cousin, it feels like a forced attempt at humor. It might be more effective to have Louis give a more subtle reaction, such as a skeptical glance at Mike, to convey his doubts about Mike's credentials.

Similarly, some of the dialogue in the deposition scene could be more naturalistic. While it makes sense for the defense counsel to be confrontational and aggressive, some of his lines come across as a bit heavy-handed and over-the-top. It might be more effective to have him use a more insidious, manipulative approach that catches Joanna off-guard.

Finally, there could be more sensory detail and description to really bring the scenes to life. For example, when Mike and Louis are walking down the hall, we're told that their feet click. This is a good detail to include, but it doesn't really give us a sense of the space they're in or how it feels to be there. Adding more detail about the lighting, the sounds of other people in the building, and the physical sensations Mike is experiencing could help to immerse the audience in the scene.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve this scene:

- The scene could benefit from more tension and pacing. Consider adding more visual cues, such as close-ups of characters’ faces, or a faster pace in their dialogue to create a sense of urgency.

- There could be more exploration of Mike’s nervousness and anxiety in this scene. This would add depth to his character and make the scene more relatable and engaging.

- The dialogue between Louis and Mike feels a bit forced. Consider rewording it or adding more natural pauses to make it feel more organic.

- The dialogue between Harvey and Donna could be more specific. Rather than having Harvey simply ask for Mike, he could provide some context and explain why he needs him.

- The drug testing scene feels somewhat extraneous to the larger plot. Consider removing it entirely or finding a way to connect it more directly to the main storyline.

- The deposition scene could benefit from more back-and-forth between the characters. Currently, it feels a bit one-sided, with the defense counsel doing most of the talking. Perhaps Joanna could have more opportunities to defend herself or refute their claims.

- The final scene with Joanna running out of the room is a missed opportunity to deepen her character and create more tension. Consider having her react more strongly to the accusations or adding a twist to her response that will surprise the audience.



Scene 23 -  Testimony Troubles
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
EXT. STREET OUTSIDE OF PEARSON, HARDMAN - MINUTES LATER

Mike runs up to Joanna, who keeps walking...

MIKE
Joanna, wait...
JOANNA
This is why I didn’t want to testify.
They twist some thing from a hundred
years ago and make me look like a liar.

She turns to Mike.

JOANNA
They make it sound like what he did to me
didn’t happen.

MIKE
Look, I know it was hard. But it doesn’t
matter what happened in there. I need
you to have the courage to give testimony
to the Judge on Friday to keep this case
alive. I don’t have time to find someone
else between now and then...
A Legal Mind 72.


She looks at him, then starts walking again...

MIKE
Wait --

JOANNA
No. I’m not waiting. You promised me
this wouldn’t happen and it did.

MIKE
You never told me you were arrested.

JOANNA
Please don’t contact me again.

Mike watches as his chance to win walks away.

INT. MIKE’S CUBICLE - LATER

Mike sits with his head in hands. Harvey approaches him.

HARVEY
What happened?

MIKE
I couldn’t convince her to stand her
ground and tell the truth anyway.

HARVEY
How the hell did you miss that arrest?

MIKE
I don’t know. I went to Rachel, we did
every background check we have.
HARVEY
Did you grill her like I told you to?

MIKE
It was a sealed record!

HARVEY
Goddamn it, I knew it! You didn’t grill
her because you were afraid to make her
uncomfortable. That’s why I don’t get
emotionally involved. So I can ask the
tough questions that you won’t.

Mike starts packing up his things.

HARVEY
So, you’re going to quit?
A Legal Mind 73.


MIKE
It’s either that or wait for Louis to
fire me.

HARVEY
What are you talking about?

MIKE
My first day, Louis fired Gary Lipsky for
screwing up a case. He said if I did the
same thing I’d be gone as fast as Gary.

HARVEY
Then go to your witness’ house and try to
get her to testify again.

MIKE
I’m telling you, I was there today.
There’s no way.

HARVEY
There’s always a way.

MIKE
Then why don’t you go over there and
convince her.

HARVEY
Because you screwed it up.

MIKE
And you don’t give a damn about the
client.

HARVEY
That’s not my job.

MIKE
Does your job include giving a damn about
me? Because the least you could do is
offer to stand up to Louis Litt for me.

This pisses Harvey off.

HARVEY
Stand up for you?! I put my ass on the
line for you, and the first roadblock you
stumble into you want to quit. Being a
success is about knowing the difference
between having balls and having courage.

MIKE
And what is that?
A Legal Mind 74.


HARVEY
You had the balls to get this job, but
you don’t have the courage to stick it
out when it gets tough.

MIKE
That’s not true.

HARVEY
Isn’t it? You’ve had one foot out the
door since you got here.

MIKE
What are you talking about?

HARVEY
I’m talking about that second briefcase
locked in your desk.
(off Mike’s look)
Yeah, I saw it. And I know what it is.
It’s a backup plan in case this doesn’t
work out. You can make some quick cash
and go right back to the life you told me
you didn’t want to lead.

This hits Mike hard.

HARVEY
So, if you want to quit, go ahead. But
it isn’t because of Louis Litt, it isn’t
because of me and isn’t because of your
witness. It’s because you’re afraid you
might fail and then you’ll have to look
yourself in the mirror and admit you’re
not as smart as you think you are.
A beat.

HARVEY
Now go home and think about that. If
you’re here in the morning, I’ll know I
still have an associate.

Harvey turns and walks away. Mike throws a stack of papers
against the wall in frustration.

INT. SUBWAY - A LITTLE LATER

Mike is riding the subway with his box of things and one of
his briefcases at his feet. The subway stops. He gets off.
A Legal Mind 75.


INT. MIKE’S STUDIO APARTMENT - LATER

Mike enters and flops on the couch. He sits, not knowing
what to do. He reaches under the couch and pulls out his old
bong. He takes some pot out, puts it in the bong and lights
a match. Before he takes the hit, he blows out the match and
puts it all down in disgust. He gets up and leaves.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Mike fails to convince Joanna to testify against Devlin McGregor, Harvey confronts Mike about missed details in Joanna's past, and Mike contemplates quitting.
Strengths "The tension between Mike and Harvey is palpable and keeps the scene engaging throughout. The themes of courage and failure are explored through dialogue."
Weaknesses "The scene relies heavily on dialogue. A lack of action and movement in the scene may make it less visually interesting for some viewers."
Critique Overall, the scene has strong emotional moments between the characters and good conflict, but there are some areas that could be improved upon.

One issue is that the dialogue can feel a bit on-the-nose and exposition-heavy. For example, Mike's line, "This is why I didn't want to testify. They twist some thing from a hundred years ago and make me look like a liar" feels a bit too obvious in terms of stating the conflict.

Additionally, there are moments where the characters' actions and motivations are unclear. When Joanna starts walking away, it's not entirely clear why Mike is trying to stop her. Is it because he needs her to testify, or is it more personal? It would help to clarify their intentions in this moment.

Finally, the scene could benefit from some more sensory description and visual aids. As it stands, there's a lot of talking and not a lot of action. Adding some description of the surroundings or gestures the characters are making would help the scene feel more dynamic.

Overall, with some tweaking to the dialogue and clearer character motivations, this scene has the potential to be a strong emotional moment in the larger story.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Clarify the purpose of the scene: It's not clear what the main objective of the scene is. Is it to show Mike's frustration with his witness? Is it to show Harvey's tough love approach? Or is it to show Mike's internal conflict about his past and his future? Clarifying the main objective will make the scene more focused and impactful.

2. Use visual storytelling: The scene is mostly dialogue-driven, which can make it feel static. Using visual storytelling techniques (such as close-ups, reaction shots, and camera movements) can add more dynamic to the scene and make it more engaging to watch.

3. Show instead of tell: Some of the dialogue feels repetitive and on-the-nose. For example, Mike and Joanna both say that they don't want to testify because they're afraid of being portrayed as a liar. Instead of having them say it, show it through their actions and behavior. This will make their emotions and motivations more tangible and relatable.

4. Add more subtext: The dialogue is very direct and exposition-heavy. Adding more subtext (hidden meanings, unsaid emotions) can give the scene more depth and nuance. For example, instead of having Harvey explicitly say that Mike has a backup plan, show it through his behavior and actions.

5. End the scene on a cliffhanger: The scene ends with Mike leaving his apartment, which doesn't feel like a satisfying ending. Ending on a cliffhanger (a moment of tension or uncertainty) will make the audience want to know what happens next and keep them engaged in the story. For example, ending the scene with Mike receiving a phone call or a knock on the door could create a sense of urgency and anticipation.



Scene 24 -  Promises and Ultimatums
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. NURSING HOME - MIKE’S GRANDMOTHER’S ROOM - LATER

Mike enters Grammy’s room. She’s asleep. He sits down next
to her and holds her hand. She wakes and sees him in a suit.

GRAMMY
Michael, look at you... I’m so proud.

MIKE
Grammy, I made good on my promise, but...
I want to quit. I can’t take it.

GRAMMY
Why?

MIKE
Because I can’t do the things I’m
supposed to do.

GRAMMY
Michael, when your parents died, I lost
my son and my daughter-in-law. I was
scared, alone and too old to raise you.

She looks him in the eye and smiles.

GRAMMY
But I had no choice. I had to make do...
because who else was going to care for my
grandson? I wasn’t going to give you up
unless they ripped you from my arms.

Grammy takes a deep breath.

GRAMMY
You made me a promise before. You’re in
the door. Promise me now the only way
you’ll leave is if they rip you out.

MIKE
I promise.

Mike hugs her and exits. As before, he mumbles to himself...

MIKE
I just have to do one thing first.
A Legal Mind 76.


INT. LOUIS’S OFFICE - LATER THAT NIGHT

Louis is working late. Harvey storms in.

HARVEY
Louis, I get that you were upset because
I was promoted before you. But if you
ever threaten to fire an associate of
mine again, I’m gonna kick your ass.

LOUIS
What are you talking about?

HARVEY
Don’t play dumb with me. You fired Gary
Lipsky in front of Mike Ross.

Louis smirks.

HARVEY
What’s so funny?

LOUIS
Gary Lipsky works in the mail room.

HARVEY
What?

LOUIS
He was a plant. I didn’t fire anybody.
It was just my way of letting Mike know
what’s expected of him.

HARVEY
What’s wrong with you? You planted a
fake an employee to manipulate Mike and --

A light bulb goes off in Harvey’s mind.

HARVEY
That’s it.
(then, to Louis)
You make me sick.

Louis seethes as Harvey runs out.

INT. TREVOR STEVENS’ CONDOMINIUM - A LITTLE LATER

Mike, holding the briefcase, uses his key to let himself into
Trevor’s. Trevor and Jenny are immediately happy to see him.

TREVOR/JENNY
Mike!/Thank god.
A Legal Mind 77.


MIKE
I’m not giving this back because you want
it, I’m giving it back because I don’t
need it.

Mike puts the briefcase in front of Trevor. Jenny looks at
Trevor, he’s going to have some explaining to do...

MIKE
I don’t know if I’m ever going to forgive
you or not, but I know this: We’re even.

Mike throws the key to Trevor’s place back to Trevor.

MIKE
Wait a second...

Mike heads into Trevor’s bedroom. He comes back out holding
all of Trevor’s two thousand dollars suits. As he exits...

MIKE
Now we’re even.

EXT. PHILLIP’S TOWN HOME - LATER THAT NIGHT

Katherine rings Phillip’s doorbell. He answers.

INT. PHILLIP’S TOWN HOME - LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Phillip pours them each a drink. He hands her the glass...

PHILLIP
Katherine, did you think he was going to
change overnight?
KATHERINE
I’m worried he isn’t going to change at
all. I’ll lose the best attorney I’ve
got.

PHILLIP
If you care about Harvey, putting him
through the ringer is his only chance.

Katherine takes a drink of her whiskey.

KATHERINE
Remember when I was coming up, it was a
different time. Women weren’t welcome --
I took a lot of cheap shots you never
knew about.

Phillip looks at Katherine, “Didn’t I?”
A Legal Mind 78.


PHILLIP
Those cheap shots forged you into the
woman you are today.

KATHERINE
My point is most men get hazed and think,
“I went through it, I’m gonna stick it to
the next guy.” I always felt, “I hated
that. Why put someone else through it?”

Phillip drinks his whiskey and smiles at the irony.

PHILLIP
Then you need to learn to be harder, so
Harvey can learn to be softer.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Mike visits his grandmother who encourages him to keep his promise to stay in his job if the only reason he quits is if they rip him out; Harvey confronts Louis over the firing of an associate, only to find out it was a fake employee used to teach Mike a lesson; Mike returns stolen property to Trevor and takes his expensive suits as payback for stealing the briefcase; Katherine worries about losing Harvey as her best attorney due to his struggles, and Phillip advises her to toughen him up while also revealing some of his own history of being hazed.
Strengths "The scene has emotional depth and shows character development through Mike's interactions with his grandma and Trevor. The reveal of Louis' deception adds tension and a level of surprise."
Weaknesses "The scene feels disconnected from the plot at times and doesn't raise the stakes as much as previous scenes."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. The emotional connection between Mike and his grandmother is touching and adds depth to Mike's character. The resolution of Mike's situation with Trevor also feels satisfying.

However, the scene with Harvey and Louis feels somewhat contrived and the dialogue can feel a bit forced at times. Additionally, the conversation between Katherine and Phillip is a bit on-the-nose in terms of spelling out the message of the scene.

Overall, this scene could benefit from some tightening of the dialogue, but it effectively moves the plot forward and adds emotional depth to the characters.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions:

- The scene starts with Mike entering Grammy's room and finding her asleep. It might add more emotion and pacing to the scene if we see Mike entering the room with a sense of nervousness or apprehension before he sees that she's asleep. This sets up the tension that he's about to talk to her about something important, making her waking up and seeing him in a suit more impactful.

- As Grammy starts to talk about her own struggles after losing Mike's parents, we could have some flashback images or a brief montage to visually show what she's talking about. This would add depth to her character and story, and make the scene more emotionally resonant.

- When Mike says he wants to quit because he can't do what he's supposed to do, we don't know exactly what he's referring to. It might be helpful to clarify this by adding a line about the specific challenges or difficulties he's facing in his job.

- After Mike promises Grammy that he won't leave unless he's ripped out, it might add more weight to the moment if he says something like "I promise, Grammy. I won't let you down." This reinforces the idea that he's not just doing this for himself, but also for her.

- The transition to the Louis and Harvey scene feels a bit abrupt. It might be helpful to add a brief establishing shot or scene transition to show that we're now in a different location and time.

- When Harvey realizes that Louis planted a fake employee to manipulate Mike, there's an opportunity to make his reaction more dramatic. For example, he could react with anger or disgust, or he could suddenly become more sympathetic to Mike's situation.

- The scene with Katherine and Phillip feels a bit vague and philosophical. It might be helpful to add some more concrete examples or details to clarify what they're talking about. For example, Katherine could mention a specific incident where Harvey mistreated her, or Phillip could offer a specific strategy for how to put Harvey through the ringer without crushing him completely.



Scene 25 -  Convincing Joanna
  • Overall: 8.7
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - LATER THAT NIGHT

Harvey knocks on Joanna Webster’s front door. She opens it.

JOANNA
Who are you? What do you want?

HARVEY
I work with Mike Ross.

JOANNA
Well, you can save your breath, because I
told Mike there’s no way I’m going
testify at that hearing tomorrow.

She closes the door. Harvey stops it.

HARVEY
That’s not why I’m here. I know what you
did.

JOANNA
What are you talking about?

Harvey enters her place as she slowly backs away.

HARVEY
You’re a plant. A fake employee. You
never worked at Devlin McGreggor, and you
were never harassed by Mr. Hunt.

JOANNA
That’s not --

HARVEY
I could tell you I’ve got the canceled
check, or the wire transfer, or whatever
smoking gun that exists, but I don’t.
A Legal Mind 79.


Harvey looks her dead in the eye.

HARVEY
But I will. And when I do, you’ll be
going to jail. Unless you tell me what
happened right now.

Joanna Webster doesn’t know what to do.

HARVEY
I’m the guy you tell.

A moment.

JOANNA
All I had to do was waste your time until
the hearing tomorrow. Please, I needed
the money, I don’t want to go to jail...

HARVEY
Here’s what you’re going to do...

INT. HARVEY’S OFFICE - NEXT MORNING

Harvey’s at his desk. Mike enters, sheepishly. Harvey
smiles.

HARVEY
I see you came to work today. Nice suit.

MIKE
It was a barter transaction. I got
twelve of them for one little briefcase.

Harvey smiles. He’s proud of Mike. Mike gets serious.
MIKE
Listen, I’m sorry and --

HARVEY
Forget it. When I started, Katherine
rode me so hard, I quit once a month. I
just told you what you needed to hear.

Mike still needs to say what he was going to say...

MIKE
That’s just it. When I was ten my mom
and dad died in a car accident. After a
thing like that, you don’t trust anything
or anyone. Except my Grammy. She raised
me, she did the best she could...

Mike takes a deep breath and gets emotional.
A Legal Mind 80.


MIKE
She always told me what I needed to hear.

Mike looks at Harvey.

MIKE
I guess it’s time I trusted someone else.

A moment. Harvey is moved. He tosses Mike a file.

HARVEY
Merry Christmas.

Mike looks through the file, absorbs it contents, then:

MIKE
What would you have done with this if I
hadn’t come in today?

HARVEY
I’d have used it myself.

Harvey lets it sink in that if Mike hadn’t come in today,
Harvey wouldn’t have tracked him down. Then:

HARVEY
You know what to do?

MIKE
Yeah. Press until it hurts.
Genres: ["Legal Drama"]

Summary Harvey confronts Joanna, a fake employee used to teach Mike a lesson. Harvey convinces her to testify, and Mike shows up to work after contemplating quitting. Mike reveals his tragic past to Harvey and receives encouragement to trust him.
Strengths "The scene has a high level of conflict and stakes. The dialogue is sharp and effective in conveying character motivation and backstories. There is a strong sense of character development as we see Mike consider quitting and then change his mind. The moment when Mike opens up to Harvey about his past is particularly impactful."
Weaknesses "Some plot developments, such as the revelation that Joanna was a fake employee, may feel contrived or too convenient. The writing is occasionally heavy-handed in conveying the characters' emotions."
Critique Overall, this scene has some strong elements but could benefit from some development in certain areas.

Firstly, the opening is quite abrupt and doesn't give any context for why Harvey is visiting Joanna Webster. Some set up to the scene would help to establish the stakes and the tension between the characters.

Secondly, the dialogue feels a bit on the nose at times, with characters explaining their motivations too explicitly. Finding more subtle ways to frame their actions and intentions could make the scene feel more organic and less exposition-heavy.

However, once Harvey confronts Joanna and the scene turns more confrontational, the tension and stakes are better established. The scene is also well-paced, with Harvey slowly revealing what he knows and using it to manipulate Joanna into giving him what he wants.

The emotional moment between Mike and Harvey at the end is a nice touch, as it shows a deeper connection between the two characters and hints at their shared history.

Overall, with some tightening of the dialogue and a more dynamic opening, this scene could be even stronger.
Suggestions There are a few suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Improve the pacing: The scene is a bit slow-paced, which could cause the audience to lose interest. One way to improve the pacing is by adding tension, for example, by having Joanna Webster react more strongly or Harvey show more urgency.

2. Add more conflict: The scene lacks conflict between Harvey and Joanna. Adding a confrontation or a disagreement between them could make the scene more engaging.

3. Develop the characters: We don't know much about Joanna Webster or her motivations, which makes it difficult to care about what happens to her. Giving her more depth and backstory could make her a more compelling character.

4. Make the dialogue more dynamic: The dialogue feels a bit flat and repetitive. Adding more variation in tone and language could make the scene more interesting.

5. Add visual storytelling: The scene relies heavily on dialogue, which could make it feel static. Adding visual storytelling, like showing Joanna's reactions or Harvey's body language, could make the scene more dynamic.



Scene 26 -  The Hunt for Justice
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. COURTHOUSE CONFERENCE ROOM - LATER THAT DAY

Mike slaps down a piece of paper. SLAM!
MIKE
Wire transfer from your account in the
amount of five thousand dollars.

We reveal that Mike is standing in front of Mr. Hunt and his
defense counsel. Harvey sits quietly at the table along with
Nancy. Mike slaps down another piece of paper. SLAM!

MIKE
Phone records proving multiple contacts
with Joanna Webster prior to her testimony.

Another document. SLAM!

MIKE
An affidavit stating you paid Ms. Webster
to falsely testify.
(MORE)
A Legal Mind 81.

MIKE (CONT'D)
Mr. Hunt, harassment is a civil
violation, for which you were being sued.
Witness tampering is a crime, for which
you will go to prison.

Mike gathers up the pieces of paper.

MIKE
And I guarantee you’re going to learn
more about the act of unwanted sexual
advances than you ever thought possible.

MR. HUNT
You think this is gonna intimidate me?!
Even if this evidence was credible, who
are you going to get to prosecute me for
some piss-ant witness tampering charge?

Mike turns to Harvey.

MIKE
Harvey, didn’t you graduate law school
with New York’s current U.S. Attorney?

HARVEY
In fact I did. I think he might be
interested in pursuing a case like this.

MIKE
Are you two close?

HARVEY
I was the best man at his wedding.

MR. HUNT
No you weren’t. You’re bluffing.

Harvey nods to Mike, who puts pictures in front of Mr. Hunt.

HARVEY
Here’s us at graduation. He’s sad ‘cause
he just found out I outranked him.
(then)
Here’s one with the District Attorney. I
wouldn’t show him this case, though.
He’d push for the death penalty.
(then)
Here’s one of us at a bachelor party. It
was lame, no strippers. But he can’t put
guys like you away for sexual harassment
then go to strip clubs now, can he?

DEFENSE COUNSEL
What do you want?
A Legal Mind 82.


Mike looks at Nancy, then addresses Mr. Hunt.

MIKE
A statement admitting what you did, your
resignation, and a guarantee you will
obtain treatment before working again.

Mr. Hunt nods his head yes.

MIKE
And Nancy gets reinstated with back pay,
a raise, and damages in the amount of
four years tuition for her son at the
most expensive university in the country.

DEFENSE COUNSEL
Are we done?

MIKE
Yes, we’re done.

Defense counsel and Mr. Hunt exit. Nancy turns to Mike.

NANCY
This is everything I wanted. My job
back, my dignity, a future for Freddie...

Harvey smiles as Nancy hugs Mike...

NANCY
I can’t thank you enough.

MIKE
It was my pleasure.
Nancy shakes Harvey’s hand. Harvey and Mike exit the room...

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE COURTHOUSE - A LITTLE LATER

Harvey and Mike walk out of the courthouse.

MIKE
Okay, I just have one question, why did
you go to Joanna Webster’s house?

HARVEY
Because I figured it out.

MIKE
I think you did it because you cared
about me.

HARVEY
I did it because it’s my job.
A Legal Mind 83.


MIKE
Admit it, you cared. I saw the smile on
your face when I showed up this morning.

HARVEY
I didn’t smile.

MIKE
Say what you want. You know it, and I
know it, you smiled.

A beat.

HARVEY
I was thinking of a funny joke.
Genres: ["legal drama"]

Summary Mike presents evidence to Mr. Hunt and his defense counsel, convincing them to admit guilt and resign. Nancy gets her job back, back pay, a raise, and damages for her son's tuition. Harvey and Mike reconcile after dealing with their personal conflicts.
Strengths "Powerful use of evidence and connections to bring resolution to the case. Emotional reconciliation between Harvey and Mike."
Weaknesses "Some of the revealed evidence could have used more buildup to fully establish their significance, potentially weakening the impact of the scene."
Critique The scene is well-written and effectively builds tension as Mike lays out the evidence against Mr. Hunt. The use of visuals and personal connections between characters also adds depth to the scene. However, the ending exchange between Harvey and Mike feels somewhat forced and unnecessary, as it doesn't further the plot or character development in a significant way. Overall, the scene is strong and serves its purpose in the narrative.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to add more action and physical descriptions to the scene to make it more visually interesting. For example, instead of just saying Mike slaps down a piece of paper, show how he does it - does he slam it down with force, or just drop it onto the table? Additionally, consider adding more dialogue or conflict between the characters to build tension and make the scene more engaging for the audience. Perhaps Mr. Hunt or his defense counsel push back more aggressively against Mike's accusations, or Harvey has to intervene to maintain control of the situation. Finally, consider adding more character development for Nancy - what is her reaction to hearing the evidence against Mr. Hunt, and how does she feel about the outcome of the negotiations? Adding more emotional depth to her character can help the audience connect with her and care more about the outcome of the scene.



Scene 27 -  Redemption
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
INT. KATHERINE’S OFFICE - THAT NIGHT

Harvey enters, contrite.

HARVEY
You know we won.

KATHERINE
Frankly, Harvey, I don’t care.

A moment. This lands on Harvey. He’s probably never said:

HARVEY
I broke a promise to you. I’m sorry.

KATHERINE
(steely)
Make it up to me.
She tosses him a file. He reads it.

HARVEY
This is a criminal case. I don’t --

KATHERINE
The man’s innocent. He’s got a family.
He needs a winner.

HARVEY
(putting it together)
You took my partnership away, folded
instantly when I threatened you, then
asked me to take a pro bono. Now you’re
asking me to do this?

KATHERINE
I’m not saying you can’t still do the fun
stuff. And this is a paying case...
A Legal Mind 84.


HARVEY
What I’m wondering is, have you just been
manipulating me this whole time into some
kind of... personal growth?

KATHERINE
Am I smart enough to do that?

Harvey holds up the file.

HARVEY
Is this the last one?

KATHERINE
I don’t make promises I can’t keep.

INT. MIKE’S CUBICLE - LATER THAT NIGHT

Mike heads out, Harvey joins him and hands him the file...

HARVEY
We start on this tomorrow.

MIKE
Does this mean we’re officially a team?

HARVEY
I wouldn’t move your things into Wayne
Manor just yet.

MIKE
So, now you’re Batman?

HARVEY
Closer to him than the fat Godfather guy.
They approach the elevator as the door opens...

MIKE
George Clooney?

HARVEY
Christian Bale.

Mike shakes his head no as the elevator the door closes.

MIKE (O.S.)
Did you really quit when you were first
here?

HARVEY (O.S.)
Of course not. I’m not a wuss.

END OF SHOW
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Character Study"]

Summary Harvey seeks redemption by taking on a criminal case assigned to him by Katherine and makes peace with Mike. Katherine reveals her true intentions and Harvey contemplates his past mistakes.
Strengths "The scene provides strong character development and a satisfying conclusion to Harvey's arc. The dialogue is witty and insightful. The scene also has an unexpected twist with Katherine's true motives."
Weaknesses "The scene lacks significant conflict or action, making it less engaging than other scenes in the script. The scene relies heavily on dialogue and may feel overly talkative to some audiences."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. The dialogue is sharp and the characters are well-defined. However, there are a few areas for improvement.

First, the scene could benefit from more emotional depth. There is an opportunity for greater emotional stakes, given the fact that Katherine took away Harvey's partnership and is now asking him to take on a difficult case. This could create more tension and make the scene more impactful.

Second, the dialogue could be more nuanced. Some of the lines feel a bit on-the-nose, particularly when Katherine says "Make it up to me." and "He needs a winner." A more subtle approach would be more effective.

Finally, the scene could use more action. There is a lot of talking, but not much physical movement. Adding some movement or visual interest would make the scene more dynamic.

Overall, this is a solid scene but could benefit from more emotional depth, nuanced dialogue, and increased action.
Suggestions Some suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Add more depth to Katherine's character. Currently, she seems like a one-dimensional antagonist whose only purpose is to put Harvey in difficult situations. Giving her more backstory or motivations could make her a more compelling character to watch.

2. Use body language and actions to convey emotions and thoughts. In this scene, most of the dialogue is telling the audience what the characters are thinking and feeling. Adding actions like Katherine tapping her finger on her desk or Harvey looking down at the file while thinking can make the scene feel more dynamic and realistic.

3. Simplify the dialogue. The conversation between Harvey and Katherine feels jargon-heavy and unnatural at times. Rewriting some lines to sound more conversational could make the scene feel more relatable to the audience.

4. Provide more context for the criminal case. Right now, it feels like an arbitrary plot device to move the story forward. Adding more information about who the defendant is and why he needs Harvey's help could make the case feel more important to the audience and give Harvey's decision to take on the case more weight.

5. Convey the passage of time. The scene goes from Katherine's office to Mike's cubicle without any indication of how much time has passed. Adding a time stamp or showing the characters leaving the building could help establish a better sense of the passage of time.