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Scene 1 -  Generosity and Financial Struggles
93 EXT. SEA - DAY 93
The ship is approaching Alexandria.

94 INT SHIP HALLWAY - DAY 94
Bella and Harry, walk past the casino. Can see Duncan
playing.

95 EXT ALEXANDRIA LIGHTHOUSE TO HOTEL - DAY 95
Bella and Harry travelling in a cable car.

96 CHAPTER HEADING: 96
ABSTRACT IMAGE OF BELLA ARRIVING IN ALEXANDRIA - BUBBLE

97 INT ALEXANDRIA HOTEL - DAY 97
Harry and Bella take breakfast on the balcony of the hotel
above the garden. Bella hears distant wailing.
HARRY
Can you hear that?
BELLA
What is it?
He motions she follow him, they follow the sound. She walks
to the end of the balcony, steps up onto step of the balcony
so she can peer over the walls of the hotel.
Below lies a slum, outside the hotel walls. She looks down in
horror at a sprawling mess of impoverished, desperate people,
mangy dogs, impoverished goats. Squalor, flies and mud.
HARRY
Lot of dead babies. Guess it’s hot.
Bella stares, shocked.
BELLA
We must go help them!
HARRY
And how will we do that?
Poor Things - Final Cut 54.


BELLA
I...
HARRY
We go down there, they’ll quite
rightfully rope us, rob us and rape
us. And if they were here and we
were there we would do the same to
them.
Bella runs.

98 INT ALEXANDRIA HOTEL STAIRS - DAY 98
She runs down the stairs screaming, tripping and falling.
Harry catches up to her, puts his hand over her mouth. She
clamps her teeth on his hand.

99 EXT SHIP HALLWAY - DAY 99
Bella walks shellshocked along the hallway.

100 INT CABIN - NIGHT 100
Bella wakes to find dinner suited Duncan, asleep, an empty
bottle of whisky on his chest, some of the content poured all
over his shit when he passed out. He is covered in money. A
couple of stacks on the bedside table as well. Bella stares
at it.
She gets up, gathers up the money into a bag. And heads out.

101 EXT SHIP - NIGHT 101
Bella walks to the walkway off the boat. Two stewards are
preparing to cast off.
STEWARD
We are casting off ma’am.
BELLA
But I must go back? I must give
this money to the poor near the
hotel, in something called a slum.
STEWARD 2
We are staying ashore Ma’am. We can
take care of that for you.
BELLA
You can?
STEWARD
Of course, it is generous of you.
Poor Things - Final Cut 55.


BELLA
They need money.
STEWARD
Everyone does.
BELLA
Thank you.
She heads off back up the plank. The two stewards smile at
each other, check the money.

102 INT CABIN HALLWAY - NIGHT 102
Bella walks down the hall. A steward stands in the doorway of
the cabin.
Bella hears Duncan’s voice as she approaches.
DUNCAN
(to the steward)
You get me the Captain! Now, we’ll
find this fucken thief!
He sees Bella. She sees he is upending the room.
DUNCAN (CONT’D)
Bella! We’ve been robbed. I won! I
won everything, like never before!
But now it’s gone!

BELLA
You haven’t been robbed. I took it.

DUNCAN
What?

BELLA
I took it.
She wanders in and flops down on the bed.

BELLA (CONT’D)
I am so tired. Or maybe just my
spirit is. My soul has been
buckled, crumpled, flattened,
Duncan Wedderburn by the sights I
have seen.

He stares at her nonplussed.

STEWARD
So, no need for the Captain then
sir?
Poor Things - Final Cut 56.


DUNCAN
Fuck off before I break all your
teeth!
STEWARD
Indeed sir.
DUNCAN
Where is it?
She cries.
DUNCAN (CONT’D)
You hid it for safety. I was drunk
and foolishly left it everywhere.
What a relief.
BELLA
I did not hide it. I gave it all
away to these poor people, out
there. Money is its own form of
sickness or at least the scarcity
of it. And who am I lying on a
featherbed as dead babies lie in
a...Oh Duncan.

DUNCAN
You what?

BELLA
I am expecting a hug of solace.

DUNCAN
You...

BELLA
I need to offer something to the
world and yet I have nothing.
Except some money. It is a bad day
for Bella Baxter.
He grabs her hard.

DUNCAN
Where is my fucking money?!

BELLA
I just told you I gave it away to
the poor.

The steward returns, knocks on the still open door. An
officer with him.

DUNCAN
I thought I told you to fuck off?!
Poor Things - Final Cut 57.


OFFICER
The steward informs me you may not
have sufficient funds to make good
your account sir.
BELLA
That is probably true, I gave it
all away to some nice men to pass
onto the slum poor.
The steward smiles.
OFFICER
You will be offloaded at the next
port and confined to staff rations
until then. Good evening.
DUNCAN
How dare you?!
The steward steps forward and punches Duncan in the stomach,
winding him. He pushes him over and pulls the door shut.

103 INT BAXTER’S DINING ROOM - DAY 103
A letter from Bella, paper with ‘aaaa ded blnd bibys
nooooooooooo bit hrry’ scrawled across pages is laid out on
the table in lots of sheets, Baxter sits reading it.
BAXTER
(reading)
Dead blind babies, bit harry, my
mouth was full of blood. Poor
Bella, she is a ruin.

104 EXT SHIP DECK - DAY 104
Bella and Harry, Harry’s hand bandaged walk up the plank.
BELLA
How is your hand?
HARRY
Fine. I’m sorry.
BELLA
You were trying to help me
understand.
HARRY
No. I actually wanted to hurt you.
I couldn’t bear to see such dumb
beautiful happiness in someone. It
was cruel of me.
Poor Things - Final Cut 58.


BELLA
I am not sorry. If I know the world
I can improve it.
HARRY
You can’t Bella. That is the real
point. Don’t accept the lie, of
religion, socialism, capitalism, we
are a fucked species. Know it. Hope
is smashable. Realism is not.
Protect yourself with the truth.
Bella looks at him.
BELLA
I realize what you are now Harry,
just a broken little boy who cannot
bear the pain of the world.
HARRY
I suppose so.
She kisses him on the cheek.
BELLA
Goodbye Harry. We get thrown off in
Marseille.
HARRY
Why do you stay with him.
BELLA
I always think it will be better.
HARRY
Of course you do.
She walks off.
CUT TO

105 CHAPTER HEADING: 105
ABSTRACT IMAGE OF BELLA ARRIVING IN PARIS
- FLOATING.

106 EXT A SQUARE IN PARIS - DAY 106
A wide view of Paris. Bella and Duncan huddle under an
umbrella on a park bench. A small dog sniffs at them.
BELLA
I have heard great things of the
beauty of Paris.
The dog’s owner comes by.
Poor Things - Final Cut 59.


DUNCAN
I will kick your dog to death.
Fucken Paris with no money. What do
you suggest we do Bella?
BELLA
I will get us a hotel. Do not
worry.
DUNCAN
Uh huh. With what?! We have no
money!
BELLA
Is it not an interesting
experiment? We have nothing, how
will we live now?
DUNCAN
I don’t know!
BELLA
Exactly. That is the experiment. We
are now the poor. Also many
adventurers have faced these odds.
Robinson Crusoe for instance.
Duncan starts weeping into his hands.
DUNCAN
Selfish, thoughtless, careless
bitch.
BELLA
I’m not thoughtless Duncan. And
while it is true my ability to
think things through to the logical
conclusions is not strong, I did
help those suffering people.
I have ruined us as you point out,
but I still believe my actions came
from a good-
DUNCAN
SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
BELLA
I will get us a hotel.

107 EXT SQUARE PARIS - DAY 107
She sees a hotel across the square. A woman in her 40s smiles
at her.
BELLA
Good afternoon Madam.
Poor Things - Final Cut 60.


SWINEY
Good day my fresh, darling, English
rose.
BELLA
Is this a hotel?
SWINEY
We have rooms. Are you looking for
work?
BELLA
How much is a room?
SWINEY
I charge you 10 francs an hour. You
charge them thirty, everyone’s
happy.
BELLA
Hmmm. I see.
SWINEY
Monsieur Chapelle. Fresh from
London. Qu’en dites vous?
He looks Bella up and down.
CHAPELLE
Enchanté. Hello. Elle fera
l’affaire.
SWINEY
Take room 16.
He heads up.
CHAPELLE
Merci.
SWINEY
So. Off you go?
BELLA
At this point I am confused.
SWINEY
You are not here to work? C’mon,
lay with him, let him cock you a
bit and make some nice francs.
BELLA
I see. He would pay me for this?
SWINEY
Yes. If you need money, it is the
shortest route to it.
Poor Things - Final Cut 61.


BELLA
I have never been ‘cocked’ by
another man, and yet have wondered
on that. And am in need of funds.
It is I believe, a confluence of
circumstances I regard as almost
fate-like. Let us do this.
Genres: ["Drama","Adventure"]

Summary Bella and Harry arrive in Alexandria, witness poverty and suffering, Bella gives away Duncan's money to the poor. Duncan confronts Bella about the missing money, leading to a tense situation. Bella decides to leave the ship with Harry, and they face financial difficulties upon arriving in Paris. The scene ends with Bella considering engaging in sexual activities for money to overcome their financial struggles.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Exploration of moral dilemmas
  • Impactful dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may come off as melodramatic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and moral complexity of the characters, creating a compelling narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring poverty, morality, and survival in a foreign land is engaging and thought-provoking.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through the characters' actions and decisions, revealing their inner conflicts and motivations.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on social inequality and moral responsibility, with authentic character actions and dialogue that add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their emotional depth adds layers to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional changes and revelations, especially Bella.

Internal Goal: 8

Bella's internal goal is to help the impoverished people in the slum, reflecting her desire to make a positive impact on the world and her empathy towards those in need.

External Goal: 7

Bella's external goal is to deal with the consequences of giving away all the money, leading to her and Duncan being confined to staff rations until the next port.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is internal conflict within the characters and external conflict with their circumstances.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and moral values creating tension and uncertainty for the characters.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters face moral dilemmas, survival challenges, and potential consequences of their actions.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by setting up new challenges and dilemmas for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and moral choices, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The scene presents a philosophical conflict between Bella's altruistic beliefs and Duncan's selfishness, highlighting the clash between compassion and self-preservation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions through its portrayal of poverty, desperation, and moral dilemmas.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful, revealing the characters' beliefs, fears, and desires.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional intensity, moral dilemmas, and vivid descriptions that draw the reader into the characters' struggles.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, keeping the reader engaged and invested in the characters' dilemmas.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for its genre, making it easy to follow and engaging for the reader.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure, effectively building tension and conflict while advancing the plot.


Critique
  • The scene effectively sets up the contrast between the luxury of the hotel balcony and the poverty outside the hotel walls in Alexandria, creating a strong visual and emotional impact.
  • The dialogue between Bella and Harry reveals their differing perspectives on helping the poor, adding depth to their characters.
  • Bella's decision to give away Duncan's money to the poor is a pivotal moment that showcases her compassion and sense of justice.
  • The confrontation between Bella and Duncan adds tension and conflict to the scene, setting up their relationship dynamics for future development.
  • The scene effectively transitions from the ship to the hotel in Alexandria, maintaining a coherent flow of events.
  • The introduction of the slum and the desperate situation of the people outside the hotel walls adds a layer of social commentary and thematic depth to the story.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to enhance the setting and immerse the audience in the scene, such as describing the sights, sounds, and smells of the slum in Alexandria.
  • Explore Bella's internal thoughts and emotions more deeply to provide insight into her motivations and inner conflict.
  • Develop Harry's character further to create a more nuanced relationship dynamic between him and Bella.
  • Consider incorporating more subtext and subtle cues in the dialogue to add layers of meaning and complexity to the interactions between the characters.
  • Ensure that the transition between the different locations and scenes is smooth and seamless to maintain the narrative flow.



Scene 2 -  Bella's Uncomfortable Encounter
108 INT. PARIS BROTHEL FOYER - DAY 108
SWINEY
Room 16.
Bella makes her way upstairs.

109 INT HOTEL ROOM PARIS - DAY 109
Bella enters the room. The man sits naked on a chair smoking
a pipe.
CHAPELLE
Allonge toi.
BELLA
Your name?
He shakes his head no.
BELLA (CONT’D)
Mysterious.

She lays down. He pushes her dress up. Lays down on her.
Starts to position himself.

BELLA (CONT’D)
Should we warm me up a bit fir-

He thrusts himself into her.
BELLA (CONT’D)
Ow.

He thrusts himself into her three times.

CHAPELLE
Aaaaaaaagh!

She holds in a laugh. He gets up. Nods politely.

CHAPELLE (CONT’D)
Merci.


110 INT PARK PARIS - DAY 110

Bella walks back along the park, carrying a chocolate eclair.
Poor Things - Final Cut 62.


BELLA
Good day sir. Eclair au chocolat. I
have come into some money, and some
enlightenment.
DUNCAN
You stole it?!
BELLA
You have always said you are the
best bedman in the world, and I
have never known another so knew
not whether this was true. But now
I do! And he was terrible and made
an ungodly noise as he thrust
himself into me, and a mere three
thrusts Duncan Wedderburn was all
he could manage! Well I stifled a
laugh out of polites of course,
took his money, thanked him,
laughed all the way to buy us this
eclair, and thought so fondly as I
remembered all the fierce sweaty
nights of ours.
DUNCAN
You... fucked for money?
BELLA
And as an experiment. Which I think
will aid us in our relationship as
it gladdens my heart for you, and
my heart has been a little bit dim
on your weepy sweary person lately.
He throws the eclair at her.
DUNCAN
YOU ARE A MONSTER. A WHORE AND A
MONSTER! You are a demon sent from
hell to rip my spirit to shreds to
punish my tiny sins with a tsunami
of destruction. To take my heart
and pull it like taffy, to ruin me.
I look at you and see nothing but
ugliness.
BELLA
That last bit was uncalled for and
makes no sense as your odes to my
beauty have been boring but
constant and now a simple act of
letting old wrinkled man ride on me
seems to erase this.
DUNCAN
Fuuuck! You whored yourself.
Poor Things - Final Cut 63.


BELLA
Which now you are going to explain
to me is bad. Can I never win with
you?!
DUNCAN
It is the worst thing a woman can
do.
BELLA
We should definitely not ever
marry. I am a flawed experimenting
person so I will need a husband
with a more forgiving disposition.
DUNCAN
Cunnnnt.
BELLA
My instinct now tells me you are
not that. Our adventure is clearly
over.
She rips open stitching in her dress, pulls God’s bills
forth.
BELLA (CONT’D)
I shall buy you a passage back to
London.

Duncan stares at her.

DUNCAN
You had money?! The whole time!

BELLA
It is God’s money for emergencies.

DUNCAN
It has been a fucking emergency for
weeks!
BELLA
I believed in you the whole time.
That you would rise to the
occasion. Now however I see that
was misplaced and there is
something broken in you.

DUNCAN
You broke that something in me!

BELLA
I feel this conversation has become
circular.

DUNCAN
Cuuuunt!
Poor Things - Final Cut 64.


Duncan grabs all the cash out of her hand, and runs.

111 INT PARIS BROTHEL FOYER - DAY 111
Bella stands before Swiney.
BELLA
Madam Swiney, I have examined my
situation. I need sex and money. I
could take a lover, another
Wedderburn who would keep me, but
may require an awful lot of
attention or it’s twenty minutes at
a time and the rest of my day is
free to study on the world and the
improving of it. Hence I seek
employment, in your musty smelling
establishment of good time
fornication.
Swiney smiles at her.
SWINEY
A woman plotting her course to
freedom. How delightful. Come.
A group of women sit on chairs in the small foyer, waiting
for clients. Swiney enters with Bella.
CUT TO
The small bell on the door rings. The girls look up. A large
butcher enters.
SWINEY (CONT’D)
Ah monsieur Saveur.

He gives her a packet of freshly cut meat.

SAVEUR
Filet mignon.

SWINEY
A prime cut. Et pour vous?

She points to the women, he eyes them. Nods at Bella.

SWINEY (CONT’D)
Bella.

She follows the butcher up the stairs. Passes Toinette, one
of the girls, in her twenties.
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Bella visits a Paris brothel seeking employment but ends up being chosen by a butcher as a client. Tension arises as she follows him upstairs, passing another girl named Toinette, indicating her new role at the brothel.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Graphic content
  • Negative sentiment

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is impactful, emotionally charged, and pivotal in the development of the characters and their relationship. The intense dialogue and confrontations keep the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of betrayal, self-discovery, and the breaking point in a relationship is well-executed. Bella's decision to enter a brothel adds a unique twist to the narrative.

Plot: 7

The plot advances significantly as Bella and Duncan's relationship reaches a breaking point. Bella's decision to leave Duncan and enter the brothel drives the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and unflinching look at the dynamics of power, gender, and sexuality. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and raw, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with Bella showing agency and defiance, while Duncan's anger and betrayal are palpable. Their dynamic is complex and adds depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both Bella and Duncan undergo significant changes in this scene. Bella asserts her agency and makes a bold decision, while Duncan's betrayal and anger transform their relationship.

Internal Goal: 8

Bella's internal goal is to seek validation and understanding from Duncan, as well as to assert her independence and self-worth. This reflects her deeper need for acceptance and respect.

External Goal: 7

Bella's external goal is to secure employment in the brothel to fulfill her need for sex and money. This reflects the immediate circumstances of her situation and the challenges she faces in a patriarchal society.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Bella and Duncan is intense and reaches a climax in this scene. Their emotional confrontation and betrayal add layers of tension and drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting desires and power struggles between Bella and Duncan. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of their relationship.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high as Bella and Duncan's relationship reaches a breaking point. Bella's decision to enter the brothel adds a sense of risk and uncertainty to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by showcasing the unraveling of Bella and Duncan's relationship and Bella's bold decision to enter the brothel. It sets the stage for new developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in character behavior and the shifting power dynamics. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflict will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around gender roles, societal expectations, and the objectification of women. It challenges Bella's beliefs about her worth and agency in a male-dominated world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly due to the intense confrontations and emotional turmoil of the characters. Bella's defiance and Duncan's betrayal resonate deeply.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is intense, emotional, and confrontational, revealing the inner turmoil of the characters. It drives the conflict and showcases the characters' emotions effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense emotional conflict, sharp dialogue, and unpredictable character interactions. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments and emotional revelations. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with distinct scene headings and character actions. It follows the expected format for its genre.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure, moving between different locations and character interactions. This adds to the tension and unpredictability of the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Bella engaging in sexual activities with a client to her walking back along the park, carrying a chocolate eclair. This transition feels disjointed and could be smoother.
  • The dialogue between Bella and Duncan is intense and emotional, but some of the exchanges feel forced and melodramatic. The language used by Duncan, calling Bella a 'whore and a monster' and a 'demon sent from hell', may come across as exaggerated and unrealistic.
  • The scene lacks subtlety in conveying Bella's decision to engage in sexual activities for money. The dialogue between Bella and Duncan is too on-the-nose, with Bella explicitly stating her intentions rather than showing them through her actions.
  • The interaction between Bella and the butcher in the brothel feels rushed and lacks depth. The transition from Bella seeking employment to being chosen by the butcher as a client happens too quickly and could benefit from more development.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and setting of the Paris brothel. Adding details about the surroundings, the other women in the foyer, and the overall ambiance would help immerse the audience in the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the transition between Bella's sexual encounter with the client and her interaction with Duncan to create a smoother flow between the scenes.
  • Tone down the melodrama in the dialogue between Bella and Duncan to make their exchange feel more authentic and less exaggerated.
  • Show Bella's decision to engage in sexual activities for money through her actions and interactions, rather than relying on explicit dialogue.
  • Develop the interaction between Bella and the butcher in the brothel to add depth and complexity to their dynamic.
  • Enhance the scene with more visual descriptions to create a vivid and immersive setting for the Paris brothel.



Scene 3 -  Manipulation in the Paris Brothel
TOINETTE
Say ‘formidable’ at the end. House
rules.
Poor Things - Final Cut 65.


112 INT PARIS BROTHEL BEDROOM - DAY 112
He pushes in a door. Bella follows him in. She looks at him.
He gets undressed. Bella reels a bit.
BELLA
Is that smell you?
He walks toward her, pushes her against the wall. Starts
fucking her.
He groans. Orgasms.
BELLA (CONT’D)
.... Formidable?
SAVEUR
Merci.

Bella nods. As he exits, Toinette comes in. She has a cup of
tea and a handkerchief.

TOINETTE
C’est un mouchoir à la lavende.
Pour l’odeur. For the smell.

Bella takes it smells it.

TOINETTE (CONT’D)
And.. tea just... because tea is
nice. Un petit peu English.

BELLA
Merci. It was brutal, in a
strangely not unpleasant way.

Toinette looks at Bella. She laughs.

TOINETTE
Pamphlet. Read. Je suis socialiste.
BELLA
What is that?

TOINETTE
Une personne qui veut
changer..change the world pour le
meilleur! Make it better. A better
world.

BELLA
Then I am that too.

The bell rings.
Poor Things - Final Cut 66.


113 INT PARIS BROTHEL FOYER - NIGHT 113
A few whores sit in a line. A businessman is looking over
them. Bella sees Mrs Swiney.
BELLA
Ah Mrs Swiney, this line up system.
You really expect me to go upstairs
with a man even if I find him
distasteful and so am slightly sad
when I let him furious jump me?
SWINEY
That is the way it is my darling.
Gosh you look pretty. How it agrees
with you to be ravaged.
BELLA
I suppose. But..
The man interrupts. Points at Bella, but speaks to Swiney.
MERSAULT
Nouvelle fille?
SWINEY
Oui Monsieur Mersault. Bella.
He looks at her. Bella addresses the man.
BELLA
Sir would you not prefer it if the
women chose? As it would be a sign
of enthusiasm for you rather than
the vague sense that they are in a
state of horror as you jump them.
MERSAULT
Horreur? Elles ne sont pas-
SWINEY
Elles vous aiment Monsieur. Bella
is new and may have a mental
illness. Elle ne comprend pas
encore comment cela fonctionne.
BELLA
As God my father says, it is only
the way it is until we discover the
new way it is and then that is the
way it is until we discover the new
way it is and so it goes until the
world is no longer flat,
electricity lights the night and
shoes no longer are tied with
ribbons. You see.
Poor Things - Final Cut 67.


TOINETTE
Je suis d’accord. As a socialist I
agree entirely. Formidable.
SWINEY
Toinette, you have such a clever
mouth, Monsieur Mersault will enjoy
it for free. Go now.
SWINEY (CONT’D)
Bella. A moment in my office.


114 INT SWINEY’S OFFICE - NIGHT 114

SWINEY
You have the most delicious looking
lobes.

BELLA
Thank you, you are most..

SWINEY
I must-

She bites on Bella’s ear.

BELLA
Aha ah.

SWINEY
I am sorry, I drew blood. Here
here.

Swiney gives her a handkerchief. A disconcerted Bella dabs
her ear.

SWINEY (CONT’D)
I sometimes give into myself when I
see beauty, young beauty. For one
day my dear you will be a wrinkled
old husk, and no one will want you,
either to pay you for it or have it
for free.

BELLA
I still believe everyone would be
happier if we could choose.

SWINEY
An idealist, like me. How
delightful you are. But we must
give into the demands of the world
sometimes. Grapple with it, try to
defeat it but-

BELLA
So you believe as me?
Poor Things - Final Cut 68.


SWINEY
Of course. But some men enjoy that
you do not like it.
BELLA
What? That is--
SWINEY
Sick! But good business. Come with
me.
She opens a curtain at the side of her office. A baby sits in
a basket.
SWINEY (CONT’D)
My grandchild. Sick and poorly and
requiring much doctoring. My choice
of giving you choice will
jeopardise the business, her
health, her life. Do you want that
Bella?

BELLA
Of course not-

SWINEY
You don’t? You are so lovely.

Bella covers her ears. Swiney barks out a laugh. Bella
smiles.

BELLA
I thought you were going for my
lobes.
Genres: ["Drama","Social Commentary"]

Summary Bella is taken to a Paris brothel where she questions the practices and interacts with Swiney, Toinette, and Mersault. Swiney manipulates Bella with emotional tactics, using her sick grandchild to gain control. The scene ends with Bella smiling in response to Swiney's manipulation.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Exploration of dark themes
Weaknesses
  • Potentially disturbing content
  • Lack of resolution for some plot threads

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the bleak and cynical atmosphere of the Paris brothel, with strong dialogue and character interactions that reveal the harsh realities of the characters' lives.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the dark underbelly of the Paris brothel industry and the choices faced by the characters is well-executed, providing a thought-provoking look at societal norms and power dynamics.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through Bella's interactions with Swiney and the clients, revealing more about the characters and the world they inhabit.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on the theme of power dynamics and exploitation in a brothel setting. The characters' dialogue feels authentic and nuanced, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bella and Swiney, are well-developed and complex, with their interactions driving the scene forward and revealing their motivations and inner conflicts.

Character Changes: 7

Bella experiences a shift in perspective regarding choice and agency, while Swiney's manipulative behavior reveals more about her character.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain her sense of self-worth and agency in a dehumanizing environment. She grapples with her beliefs and values in the face of societal expectations and pressures.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the brothel's rules and power dynamics to protect herself and potentially make a change for the better.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict in the scene, primarily stemming from the power dynamics between the characters and their differing perspectives on choice and agency.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting ideologies and power struggles driving the conflict. The audience is left unsure of how the characters will navigate the challenges.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes are present in the characters' choices and the consequences they face in the harsh world of the Paris brothel industry.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of the characters and the world they inhabit.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected character choices and shifting power dynamics. The audience is kept on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between the protagonist's idealism and the harsh reality of the world she is in. Madame Swiney represents the pragmatic approach to survival, while Bella embodies the desire for a better world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of unease and discomfort, highlighting the harsh realities faced by the characters in the Paris brothel industry.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and reveals the characters' personalities and the power dynamics at play in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its dynamic character interactions, sharp dialogue, and underlying tension. The conflict and stakes keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and highlighting key moments. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure, with clear character motivations and interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear focus and direction, jumping from Bella engaging in sexual activities with the butcher to a conversation with Toinette and Swiney in the brothel foyer.
  • The transition between Bella's encounter with the butcher and her interaction with Toinette and Swiney feels abrupt and disjointed, making it difficult for the audience to follow the narrative flow.
  • The dialogue between Bella, Toinette, and Swiney lacks depth and substance, failing to provide meaningful insights into the characters' motivations and relationships.
  • The scene lacks emotional depth and fails to evoke a strong reaction from the audience, missing an opportunity to explore the complex dynamics of the characters in the brothel.
  • The introduction of Swiney's grandchild as a manipulative tool feels forced and contrived, lacking a natural progression in the narrative.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a more cohesive narrative arc, focusing on Bella's emotional journey and the dynamics within the brothel.
  • Develop the dialogue between Bella, Toinette, and Swiney to reveal deeper insights into their characters and relationships, adding layers of complexity to the scene.
  • Explore the emotional impact of Bella's experiences in the brothel, delving into her internal struggles and conflicts to create a more engaging and compelling storyline.
  • Avoid introducing plot points or characters that feel disconnected or out of place, ensuring that each element serves a purpose in advancing the overall narrative.
  • Consider incorporating more visual and sensory details to enhance the atmosphere of the brothel and immerse the audience in the setting, creating a more vivid and immersive experience.



Scene 4 -  Bella's Adventures in a Paris Brothel
SWINEY
We must work. We must make money.
But more than that Bella, we must
experience everything. Not just the
good, but degradation, horror,
sadness. This makes us whole Bella,
makes us people of substance. Not
flighty, untouched children. Then
we can know the world. And when we
know the world, the world is ours.

BELLA
I want that.

The bell rings.

SWINEY
Now go and fuck someone and bring
me ten francs.
Poor Things - Final Cut 69.


115 INT PARIS BROTHEL BEDROOM - DAY 115
Bella walks into her room, followed by a plain looking guy in
a suit. He start taking his pants off.
BELLA
First I suggest a short quiz.
GUY
A...quiz?
BELLA
Tell me a childhood memory...un
souvenir d’enfant, then I will tell
you a joke, Toc toc, and then a
quick sniff and if necessary a
quick douse in lavender oil. It
will all enhance our experience
making it formidable. Toc toc!
GUY
Um... Toc toc?
BELLA
Non. I am doing the joke. You the
memory. Le souvenir?
GUY
Um... je me souviens être tombé de
mon..velo..
BELLA
You fell from your bicycle..et...
GUY
je l’ai regardé, attendant de voir
s’il..
GUY (CONT’D)
Oui. Jai commencé à marcher,
and...it..commencé à saigner.
Blood. down my leg. J'ai ressenti
une joie intense.

BELLA
Joie. Joy! You watched the blood
with joy.

GUY
Oui!

She smiles, he smiles back.

BELLA
Knock knock.

GUY
Oui c’est?
Poor Things - Final Cut 70.


BELLA
Fromage.
GUY
Fromage?
BELLA
Cheese to meet you!
He laughs.
BELLA (CONT’D)
Exactly! You know it!

They come together. She sniffs him.
BELLA (CONT’D)
You smell okay. Let us fuck.

CUT TO

Bella having sex against the wall.

CUT TO

Bella is crouched semi naked, facing a wall. There is a
scuttling noise. She looks back. A naked man scuttles crab
like across the floor, sideways but slowly toward her. He
gets there, pulls hair from her head with his pincers and
eats it. Bella turns to watch him, fascinated. He scuttles
away from her.

CUT TO

Bella is being fucked by a handsome guy in his forties.

She starts to orgasm as does he. They finish. Bella, spent
and happy. He puts on his priest clothes.

BELLLE
God gave you a gift my friend.
PRIEST
C’est une malediction.


116 INT PARIS BROTHEL FOYER 116

Bella in a line up. She stares blankly ahead. A guy with
hooks for hands points at her.


117 INT PARIS MEDICAL SCHOOL - DAY 117

Bella and Toinette duck into the back of a lecture hall. A
surgeon cuts up a body as he lectures the class.
Poor Things - Final Cut 71.


118 INT PARIS MEDICAL SCHOOL - DAY 118
The empty hall. The body cut and hollowed out. Toinette and
Bella eat croissants as they walk around it. Bella examines
the incisions.
BELLA
Very inelegant work.
TOINETTE
This is what you do when you’re
homesick?
Bella nods.

119 INT PARIS BROTHEL BEDROOM - NIGHT 119
Bella, bored, with a bit in her mouth suspends from the
ceiling. A man humps her leg.

120 INT PARIS BROTHEL ROOM - DAY 120
Two boys of sixteen sit on chairs. A man, a well spoken
Frenchman, in his forties stands, Bella sits on the bed.
BELLA
You wish what?
MAN
My boys are of an age for
education. Sexual. I will
demonstrate.
BELLA
I see.
MAN
Vous pouvez jouer avec les seins de
la femme. Cela engorge le penis et
ça l’excite.
BELLA
At times.
MAN
Si votre penis ne s’engorge pas
vous pouvez faire appelle à son
assistance manuelle.
He nods at Bella. She massages his cock through his pants.
MAN (CONT’D)
Cela augmente le flux sangain. Une
fois la dureté atteinte...
Poor Things - Final Cut 72.
Genres: ["Drama","Erotic"]

Summary Bella engages in various sexual encounters with clients at a Paris brothel, including a quirky quiz, a strange encounter with a crab-like man, and a session with a priest. The scene showcases Bella's adaptability and professionalism in her line of work, as she navigates the demands of her job with a mix of dark humor, surrealism, and a hint of melancholy. The scene ends with Bella participating in a demonstration for two young boys, highlighting her skills in handling different situations in the brothel.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Exploration of dark themes
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys the dark and sensual themes through its dialogue and actions, creating a compelling and immersive atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring degradation, sensuality, and acceptance is well-executed and adds depth to Bella's character development.

Plot: 7

The plot advances Bella's journey and provides insight into her experiences in the brothel, adding layers to her character.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and unapologetic approach to exploring themes of degradation and self-discovery through explicit and provocative dialogue and actions. The authenticity of the characters' interactions adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Bella, are well-developed and their interactions reveal their inner struggles and desires.

Character Changes: 7

Bella undergoes subtle changes in her perception of degradation and sensuality, hinting at potential growth in her character.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to experience everything, including degradation, horror, and sadness, in order to feel like a person of substance and to know the world.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to make money by engaging in sexual acts with clients in the brothel.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is internal conflict within Bella as she navigates the experiences in the brothel, adding tension to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenging and morally ambiguous situations that create tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on Bella's personal exploration and experiences.

Story Forward: 7

The scene provides insight into Bella's experiences and adds depth to her character, moving the story forward in a meaningful way.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected and explicit interactions between the characters, as well as the dark and unsettling tone of the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the idea of finding substance and meaning through experiencing degradation and horror, which challenges traditional notions of morality and self-worth.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions from despair to curiosity, creating a strong emotional impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is engaging, darkly humorous, and reveals the characters' emotions and motivations effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its raw and provocative dialogue, intense character interactions, and the uncomfortable atmosphere of the brothel setting.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and maintains the audience's interest through a series of intense and provocative interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene transitions and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively setting up the atmosphere and character dynamics within the brothel setting.


Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from a deep conversation with Swiney to Bella engaging in various sexual encounters without a clear connection or transition.
  • The dialogue between Bella and the client during the quiz feels forced and unnatural, lacking in authenticity.
  • The scene includes multiple sexual encounters without much depth or emotional impact, which can come across as gratuitous and lacking in substance.
  • The introduction of the crab-like man and the priest character feels random and disconnected from the overall narrative, adding confusion rather than depth to the scene.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc or development for Bella, making it difficult for the audience to connect with her journey or motivations.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to provide a smoother transition from the previous conversation with Swiney to Bella's experiences in the brothel.
  • Focus on creating more authentic and meaningful dialogue between Bella and the clients to add depth and emotional resonance to the scene.
  • Instead of multiple disconnected sexual encounters, focus on one or two encounters that contribute to Bella's character development or the overall narrative.
  • Reevaluate the inclusion of the crab-like man and the priest character to ensure they serve a purpose in advancing the story or character arcs.
  • Work on establishing a clear emotional journey for Bella in the scene, allowing the audience to empathize with her experiences and growth.



Scene 5 -  Dramatic Revelations and Independence
BELLA
Shall I lay, bend, astride?
MAN
Let’s starts simple, please.
Bella lays on the bed. She sees one of the boys staring at
her, she winks, he looks down. The other is studiously taking
notes.
The guy gets between her legs, enters her.
MAN (CONT’D)
...commence doucement le va et
vient. J’aime bien commencer par un
quatre, quatre, puis un trois
trois, ensuite un deux deux qui
généralement ammène au climax.

BOY
Et si ça ne vient pas père?

BELLA
Ah, to aid things along a finger in
the arse or a slight choking may do
it.

MAN
C’est Vrai!!

CUT TO

Bella hears a wailing sound from the alley below. She goes to
the window, looks down.

Duncan sits in the alley, he is pulling clumps of hair out.
Looks up, sees her, smiles, waves, a clump of hair in his
hands.

BELLA
Go home!

121 EXT PARIS MULTIPLE VIEWS SQUARE - DAY 121

Toinette and Bella walk.

BELLA
Swiney was right. I am discovering
parts of myself hitherto unknown.

TOINETTE
It is a way to look at it.

BELLA
The variety of desires being made
manifest is fascinating.
(MORE)
Poor Things - Final Cut 73.

BELLA (CONT’D)
Did you have the man who puts a
wedge of pineapple in your mouth
and covers you in dust?
TOINETTE
Oui, Jacques. Il est gentil.
Duncan appears beside her, dusty and rips in his clothes.
DUNCAN
Bella. I have decided to forgive
you. I have booked our berths home.
I have told mother to prepare our
wedding bed. Did you fuck the guy
with hooks for hands? You did. I
know. I beat the tar out of that
guy.
BELLA
Duncan I thought you went.
DUNCAN
I went to the boat, but started to
ache and vomit, so am here to save
you.
TOINETTE
Le Duncan! Quel gâchis!
He holds his hand out to her.
DUNCAN
Charmé.
BELLA
Go home Duncan. Our time has ended.
I look at you and feel nothing but
the lingering question of how did I
ever want you?
TOINETTE
Oooo. And we must go to the meeting
of socialists.
DUNCAN
You’re whores!
BELLA
We are our own means of production.
Get out of the way.
Duncan stops. They walk on and head through.

122 INT BAXTER’S STAIRWAY - DAY 122
Felicity is finger painting on the walls of the sitting room.
Max sits nearby taking notes.
Poor Things - Final Cut 74.


FELICITY
Foot. Paint foot.
MAX
Very good.
Baxter enters.
MAX (CONT’D)
Her language is slow but improving.

FELICITY
Gmmmf. Paint. Foot.

Baxter nods to her.
BAXTER
Genius.

MAX
Can you not be so cruel to her?

BAXTER
I made a mistake with Bella. I
allowed feelings to develop. But
there are none for her, she is no
different to the chicken dog. It is
better this way perhaps, and gives
some insight to my father’s
coolness to me. It was a necessity
of science.

MAX
Good God man!

BAXTER
I do not expect you to understand
village doctor. By the way I need
you to operate on me.

MAX
Shall I put a beating heart in your
monstrous form?

BAXTER
If you have time while taking this
out.

He pulls up his shirt to reveal a large growth protruding
from his stomach.

CUT TO
Poor Things - Final Cut 75.


123 INT BAXTER’S HOUSE SURGERY - DAY 123
Baxter lies on the operating table.. He looks to where he has
a mirror set up so he can watch. Max slices his belly and
opens him up. Prim assists.
He slices around the perimeter of the tumour.
MAX
I will take some cells from around
the tumour.
BAXTER
No need. You may close me up. It
has spread. I can see tiny polyps.
MAX
Oh.
He peers in. Looks at Baxter.
BAXTER
I am dying. How to break it to the
patient hey?
Laughs.
MAX
Baxter.
BAXTER
Do not cry into the wound. You will
kill me faster with sepsis. Quiet
now and close me up.
Max nods. Baxter closes his eyes.
BAXTER (CONT’D)
Find her.

124 INT PARIS BROTHEL BEDROOM - NIGHT 124

Bella lies on the bed. A closed book next to her.

BELLA
I am closed!

Swiney enters.

SWINEY
Hot chocolate my dear. And pain au
chocolat. You are my favourite.
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Comedy"]

Summary In this scene, Bella engages in sexual activities with two boys while one takes notes. Meanwhile, she witnesses Duncan pulling clumps of hair out in an alley below. Toinette and Bella discuss their desires as Duncan appears dusty and torn, forgiving Bella and booking their berths home. Bella rejects Duncan and asserts her independence. Felicity is seen finger painting on the walls as Max operates on Baxter, who reveals he is dying. The scene ends with Swiney entering the brothel bedroom with hot chocolate and pain au chocolat for Bella.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Complex characters
  • Dark humor
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some abrupt transitions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging, filled with dark humor and unexpected twists, keeping the audience intrigued and entertained.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the dynamics of a Paris brothel and the characters within it is unique and well-executed.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through character interactions and revelations, adding depth to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and unconventional take on the theme of sexual agency and power dynamics, presenting a nuanced and provocative portrayal of the protagonist's struggles.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are complex and intriguing, each with their own motivations and quirks that drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 7

Bella undergoes a significant change in her perception of Duncan and her own desires, leading to a shift in her character.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert her independence and agency, rejecting the control and expectations of the men around her. She wants to break free from the societal norms and expectations placed upon her as a woman in a brothel.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the complex relationships and dynamics within the brothel, including dealing with the possessive and controlling behavior of Duncan.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

There is internal conflict within the characters, especially Bella and Duncan, but the external conflict is relatively low in this scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting desires and motivations driving the characters' actions. The audience is left uncertain of how the conflicts will be resolved.

High Stakes: 5

While the stakes are not extremely high in this scene, the emotional and personal stakes for the characters are significant.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing new aspects of the characters and setting, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and dialogue. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflicts will be resolved.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's autonomy and agency versus the societal expectations and constraints placed upon her. It challenges traditional gender roles and power dynamics.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions from cynicism to amusement, creating a memorable impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and adds depth to the characters, enhancing the overall tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its provocative dialogue, intense emotions, and complex character dynamics. The conflict and tension keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of slower moments of introspection and faster-paced dialogue and action sequences.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that help to establish the setting and tone.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure, moving between different locations and characters to build tension and conflict. It effectively conveys the complexity of the protagonist's internal and external struggles.


Critique
  • The scene contains explicit sexual content that may be uncomfortable or unnecessary for the story's progression.
  • The dialogue lacks subtlety and depth, focusing too much on the mechanics of sexual activities rather than character development or plot advancement.
  • The transition from Bella engaging in sexual activities to Duncan pulling clumps of hair out in the alley is abrupt and disjointed.
  • The interaction between Bella, Toinette, and Duncan feels forced and lacks emotional depth or authenticity.
  • The introduction of Felicity finger painting on the walls and Baxter revealing his growth in his stomach seems disconnected from the rest of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider toning down the explicit sexual content and focusing more on character development and emotional depth.
  • Revise the dialogue to add more nuance and subtlety, exploring the characters' motivations and relationships.
  • Work on smoother transitions between different plot points to create a more cohesive and engaging narrative.
  • Develop the interactions between Bella, Toinette, and Duncan to make them more authentic and emotionally resonant.
  • Integrate the subplot with Felicity and Baxter more seamlessly into the scene to ensure it contributes meaningfully to the overall story.



Scene 6 -  Emotional Turmoil and Hidden Truths
BELLA
I have heard you say that to
others. We are a machine you feed
with compliments and chocolate.
Poor Things - Final Cut 76.


SWINEY
You are my children I feed with
love.
BELLA
A terrible thing has happened
Swiney. I feel almost nothing, and
my empathy is creeping towards
something I would describe as
contemptuous rage.
SWINEY
This is fabulous.
BELLA
It is?
SWINEY
You are in the dark period before
light and wisdom come to you. You
must forge through it, and once on
the other side you will be grateful
to this moment. But you must keep
going.
Bella takes it in, nods.
BELLA
I see.
Swiney looks at her. Bella covers her ears.
Swiney bites her arm.
BELLA (CONT’D)
Ah.....ah.


125 INT PARIS BROTHEL BEDROOM - DAY 125

Bella’s flushed ecstatic face.
From under the sheets appears Toinette.

CUT TO

Toinette sings to Bella.

TOINETTE
Où est ton bébé?

BELLA
Quel bébé?

She points to the scar on Bella’s stomach.

TOINETTE
You’ve got a baby scar. Moi aussi.
Poor Things - Final Cut 77.


She sits up to show her own.
TOINETTE (CONT’D)
Mine is with ma maman. Le tien?

BELLA
I don’t have one... It is an
accident scar. But you are not the
first to make the mistake.

TOINETTE
Why lie?!

BELLA
I am not lying! My God told me
himself.
TOINETTE
Un homme?

BELLA
Oui.

She shrugs as if that answers that.

TOINETTE
Voilà.

Bella takes this in. Looks down at her stomach. The scar.

CUT TO


126 INT BAXTER’S HOUSE HALLWAY / STUDY - DAY 126

A thick letter arrives, mad writing on the envelope. Max
finds it, picks it up.

Reads it, walks to the study where Godwin is unconscious
laying in the day bed hooked up to a machine, pumping blood
for him.
MAX
Wedderburn.


127 INT ASYLUM - DAY 127

Duncan is in a cell, lying facing the wall.

MAX
Good day sir.

He gets no response.

MAX (CONT’D)
You wrote to Mr Godwin Baxter.
Poor Things - Final Cut 78.


DUNCAN
He has set a demon at large in the
world, the devil has wrapped her in
an alluring body that cannot be
satiated and a mind that picks
people apart stitch by stitch like
a bloodied and burned rag doll that
has been shat out an elephant’s
arse!
MAX
Bella. Where is she?
He looks up at him as if noticing for the first time.
DUNCAN
Who are you?
MAX
I am her fiancé sir.
Duncan takes a beat then laughs. Scratches at his leg. Max
notices the bloody scratches all over his ankle..
MAX (CONT’D)
Obviously things did not end well
between you?

DUNCAN
Did not?....she destroyed me!

MAX
We are all masters of our own ship
so there’s that.

DUNCAN
I do not like you and your words!
That Godwin Baxter! He knew, and he
set her onto me, trapped me.

MAX
Where is she?!

DUNCAN
I would not wish her on my worst
enemy, I will save you sir from-

Max kicks him in the stomach.

MAX
Forgive my frustration, just tell
me.

DUNCAN
It does not hurt, I have no
insides, she has hollowed me out,
my soul, my bank account.
(MORE)
Poor Things - Final Cut 79.

DUNCAN (CONT’D)
I am a shell, a bug. Shall we sing?
Oh we are sailors on a ship of
fools.
Max picks him up and slams him against a wall, surprising
himself.
MAX
I do not wish to be like this, you
force my hand.
DUNCAN
We are all masters of our own ship
you cunting cuntfaced deadshit.
MAX
Please I ask you as politely as I
can. Where is she?

128 INT PARIS BROTHEL BEDROOM - DAY 128
Bella lies on her bed. Fingers the scar on her stomach.
Toinette comes in.
TOINETTE
Tu as une lettre.
Walks out. Bella, looks at the postcard. London postmark. A
formally drawn sketch of Baxter on his bed, surrounded by
medical devices. ‘R.I.P soon. Come.’ written next to it.

129 OMITTED 129

130 CHAPTER HEADING: 130
ABSTRACT IMAGE OF BELLA ARRIVING IN LONDON - BRIDGE
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Mystery"]

Summary Bella grapples with emotional numbness and Swiney offers guidance. Toinette claims Bella has a baby, prompting confusion. Max confronts Duncan about Bella's whereabouts but encounters resistance. The scene culminates with Bella receiving a postcard bearing a sketch of Baxter on his deathbed and a cryptic message.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Intriguing plot developments
  • Complex character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly cryptic or confusing for the audience

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively conveys a range of emotions and introduces intriguing plot developments, keeping the audience engaged and invested in Bella's journey.


Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of exploring Bella's emotional struggles and the mysterious elements introduced in the scene are compelling and add depth to the overall story.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly with the introduction of the letter from London and the postcard, setting up future events and adding complexity to Bella's story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters and explores complex emotions and philosophical themes.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Bella and Duncan, are well-developed and their interactions reveal layers of complexity and emotion, driving the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 8

Bella undergoes significant emotional and psychological changes in the scene, particularly in her decision to reject Duncan and assert her independence, marking a pivotal moment in her character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

Bella's internal goal is to navigate her emotions of feeling almost nothing and moving towards contemptuous rage. This reflects her deeper need for understanding and growth.

External Goal: 7

Bella's external goal is to find out where she needs to go next, as indicated by the postcard she receives.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a significant level of conflict present in the scene, both internal (Bella's emotional struggles) and external (her interactions with Duncan and Max), adding tension and driving the plot forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition between Max and Duncan adds conflict and suspense to the scene.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high for Bella as she grapples with her past traumas, relationships, and the mysterious elements introduced in the scene, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward significantly with the introduction of new plot elements and character developments, setting the stage for future events and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and revelations about Bella's past.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is evident in Bella's struggle with her emotions and faith, as well as Duncan's perception of being trapped by external forces.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly through Bella's inner turmoil and the revelations about her past and relationships.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations, adding depth to their interactions and driving the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the tension between characters, the mystery surrounding Bella's situation, and the poetic dialogue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for the genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure, moving between different locations and characters effectively.


Critique
  • The dialogue between Bella and Swiney feels a bit disjointed and could benefit from more clarity in their interaction.
  • The transition from Bella expressing her feelings to Toinette appearing and singing to her feels abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The conversation between Toinette and Bella about the scar on Bella's stomach lacks depth and could be more impactful.
  • The scene with Max and Duncan in the asylum is intense but the dialogue could be more focused and purposeful.
  • The ending with Bella receiving the postcard could be more emotionally resonant and tie back to the overall themes of the screenplay.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining the dialogue between Bella and Swiney to make their interaction more cohesive and impactful.
  • Work on the transition between Bella's emotional moment and Toinette's appearance to create a smoother flow in the scene.
  • Enhance the conversation between Toinette and Bella to add depth and emotional resonance to their interaction.
  • Focus on tightening the dialogue between Max and Duncan to make their confrontation more intense and purposeful.
  • Revise the ending with Bella receiving the postcard to make it more emotionally resonant and tie back to the overarching themes of the screenplay.



Scene 7 -  The Confrontation
131 EXT/INT BAXTER’S HOUSE - DAY 131
Bella stares at the house as she stands at the door. She
smiles. Knocks.
The door swings back. Prim looks at her.
PRIM
The whore’s back!
Prim walks away. Bella steps inside.

132 INT BAXTER’S HOUSE DRAWING ROOM - DAY 132
Baxter pulls himself up, leans on the day bed. He is hooked
up to an oxygen machine, and a glass bulb sluices blood via a
tube in and out of his body.
Poor Things - Final Cut 80.


Bella comes in. She rushes to God. Hugs him. He grimaces. But
is slightly overcome by her touch.
BELLA
God! Max wrote me, you are ill?
BAXTER
I am not. I am dying. A subtle
difference, but one I take
seriously as a physician.
You are a sight. And a good one.
BELLA
You cannot die.
BAXTER
Empirical data says different. I
missed you. I now have to lie down.
She helps him down.
BELLA
It is not all sunshine I bring, I
also bring beady eyes and hard
questions for you. Did I have a
baby in me? And if so where is it?
BAXTER
I see. Well, technically you are
your baby. And also I suppose you
are your mother. But also neither.
No memory survives. No experiences
survive.
BELLA
What do you mean I am mother and
daughter?

133 INT BAXTER’S HOUSE OPERATING THEATER - DAY 133
Bella goes through Baxter’s papers.
Finds notes on her operation. She starts reading. Max enters,
stands at the door.
BELLA
You knew? And did not tell?
MAX
I...did not see good reason too..
BELLA
And were too cowardly to.
Poor Things - Final Cut 81.


MAX
A bit of that as well. I just
wanted to be with you and was not
sure you would even understand and
Baxter kind of makes one a prisoner
to him, and....sorry.
CUT TO
Bella exmaines the looping scar on her neck in a mirror.

134 134
INT BAXTER’S HOUSE DINING ROOM (MEAL PREPARATION AREA) - DAY
She walk into the kitchen, Felicity at the table, she is
singing a song, which is really just the same word over and
over as she smashes steak with a meat hammer on the table.
Prim supervises.
FELICITY
Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.
BELLA
Who’s this?
Felicity keeps banging as she looks at Bella.
FELICITY
Bell whore, bell whore, Bell whore.
BELLA
You have introduced me already
then Prim?
PRIM
I like this one though.
Prim reaches for the meat.
PRIM (CONT’D)
That’s enough Feli-
Felicity brings the hammer down on Prim’s hand with the
hammer.

PRIM (CONT’D)
Fucker!

Felicity laughs, goes on hitting the table. Bella looks at
Max.

BELLA
She is another?

MAX
Well...we missed you.
Poor Things - Final Cut 82.


BELLA
Monsters.
Bella walks out.

135 EXT LONDON STREET - DAY 135
Bella walks the street.

136 EXT LONDON BRIDGE - DAY 136
Bella walks onto the bridge. Looks over and sees some dead
fish lying on the bank.

137 INT BAXTER’S HOUSE DRAWING ROOM - NIGHT 137
Baxter lies on the day bed. Machines whirring around him.
Bella enters. She goes to him. He opens his eyes looks at
her.
BELLA
It is hard to be in a position
where one wants to hit someone who
is already in obvious pain.
BAXTER
It is a conundrum for sure. Would
you rather be a grey slab of flesh
with a fish hook in your nose?
She drops her arm.
BELLA
I will feel good for a second, and
bad for longer so...
I really had a fish hook in my
nose?
BAXTER
You did.
BELLA
So I am your creation. As is the
other one.
BAXTER
Neither of you are that. She
wanders the halls with a hammer and
a song, that is not my doing, and I
have read your cards and letters
home and watched you fearlessly
create Bella Baxter with wonder.
Poor Things - Final Cut 83.


BELLA
I am finding being alive
fascinating so I will forgive you
the act, but always hate the lies
and trapping that followed.
BAXTER
Understood. Good to see you.
BELLA
You too. Anger, confusion and brain
dissonance aside. I missed you.
She puts her hand on his.
BELLA (CONT’D)
I arrived home and I smelt the
fomeldahyde and I knew what is
next. I will be a doctor.

He closes his eyes, smiles.
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary Bella confronts Baxter about her past and discovers she is his creation, a mix of anger, confusion, sadness, and hope ensues. Bella is angry and hurt by Baxter's lies, but she is also grateful for his creation. She is confused about her identity and her place in the world, but she is also hopeful for the future.
Strengths
  • Deep character development
  • Emotionally resonant themes
  • Introspective dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Slow pacing in some parts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is emotionally rich and thought-provoking, with deep character interactions and introspective moments that resonate with the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of facing mortality, seeking forgiveness, and exploring the complexities of relationships is well-executed and engaging.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses through emotional revelations and character interactions, adding depth to the overall story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters and situations, such as the character of Felicity and the protagonist's confrontation with her past. The dialogue feels authentic and adds depth to the characters' actions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are complex and multi-dimensional, each dealing with their own internal struggles and growth throughout the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters experience growth and introspection, particularly in their relationships and understanding of themselves.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to seek answers about her past and identity. This reflects her deeper need for understanding and closure, as well as her fear of being manipulated and deceived.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to confront the people who have kept secrets from her and to assert her independence. This reflects the immediate challenge of facing her past and taking control of her future.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict is more internal and emotional, focusing on the characters' struggles with mortality, regret, and forgiveness.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicts arising between the characters and the protagonist facing obstacles in her quest for answers. The audience is left unsure of how the confrontations will unfold.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are more emotional and internal, focusing on the characters' personal growth and relationships.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the characters' relationships and revealing important emotional truths.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected character interactions and revelations. The audience is kept on their toes as the tension escalates.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between truth and deception, as well as the idea of self-creation versus external influence. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about identity and agency.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, longing, and introspection, leaving a lasting impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is introspective and reflective, adding depth to the character interactions and emotional themes.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of emotional intensity, mystery, and character dynamics. The dialogue and actions keep the audience invested in the unfolding drama.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. It balances dialogue and action well, keeping the narrative moving forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and character actions. It is easy to follow and enhances the readability of the screenplay.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows a logical progression, moving from Bella's arrival to her confrontations with the other characters. It maintains a cohesive flow and builds tension effectively.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from Bella walking the street to entering Baxter's house, which can be confusing for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Bella and Baxter feels a bit forced and overly expository, lacking a natural flow and emotional depth.
  • The interaction between Bella and Felicity in the kitchen feels abrupt and disconnected from the rest of the scene, making it seem out of place.
  • The revelation of Bella being Baxter's creation and her decision to become a doctor feels rushed and lacks a deeper exploration of the emotional impact of this revelation.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual cues and descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and emotional resonance of the interactions.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between Bella walking the street and entering Baxter's house to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Work on refining the dialogue between Bella and Baxter to make it more natural and emotionally resonant, focusing on the underlying emotions and conflicts.
  • Integrate the interaction with Felicity in the kitchen more seamlessly into the scene or consider removing it to maintain the focus on Bella and Baxter's conversation.
  • Expand on Bella's reaction to the revelation of being Baxter's creation and her decision to become a doctor, delving deeper into the emotional impact and internal conflict.
  • Enhance the scene with more visual descriptions and cues to create a richer and more immersive experience for the audience.



Scene 8 -  A Wedding Interrupted
BAXTER
My surgery is yours. My father once
said to me, always carve with
compassion. He was a fucking idiot,
but it’s not bad advice.


138 EXT LONDON PARK - DAY 138

Bella and Max walk in the forest.

MAX
He does not have long.

BELLA
I know.

They walk a bit.
BELLA (CONT’D)
You have not mentioned our
betrothal.

MAX
You were much younger, there is
no...bind. I was mesmerised by you
and Baxter took advantage of it.

BELLA
So you are mesmerised no more?

MAX
I am still... mesmerised.
Poor Things - Final Cut 84.


BELLA
I have been a whore you understand.
Cocks for money inside me. Are you
okay with that? Or is the whore
thing a challenge to the desire for
ownership men have. Wedderburn
became much sweary and weepy when
he discovered my whoring.
MAX
I find myself merely jealous of the
men’s time with you, rather than a
moral aspersion against you. It is
your body Bella Baxter. Yours to
give freely.
BELLA
I generally charged thirty francs.
MAX
Seems low.
BELLA
Do you believe people improvable
Max?
MAX
I do, as a human body can be cured
of illness, so can men and women be
cured of aspects.
BELLA
Will you marry me Max McCandles?
MAX
I will.
She grabs him and kisses him. He kisses her back.
BELLA
We will need less of your tongue in
the future but overall most
agreeable.
MAX
I will take a note. And have you
been checked for um... disease?
BELLA
I have not, but I shall. I am
enjoying this practical love we
have.
MAX
Mine is also passionate! I assure
you.
Bella laughs.
Poor Things - Final Cut 85.


BELLA
You are adorable. You always were.
CUT TO

139 INT LONDON CHURCH - DAY 139
Max stands at the altar, a priest before them. A few tourists
looking around the church, or praying in pews. No guests.
Bella walks down the aisle. Baxter appears beside her, aided
by Prim.
BELLA
God! You are walking?
BAXTER
I have taken 5 milligrams of heroin
through the toes for the pain,
amphetamines for energy, and
cocaine because I am partial to
cocaine. I will walk you down the
aisle.
They walk to Max.
PRIEST
And so by the powers vested in me
by the church I will solemnize this
union. Do you Bella Baxter take
this man as your husband?
She is about to answer.
ALFIE
Did we miss the part about anyone
objecting to this? Or has that been
removed in some kind faux
modernization of the catechism.
They turn. Alfred Blessington, a sombre looking but magnetic
man, has stormed into the church.
ALFIE (CONT’D)
Hello Victoria, you look well.

BELLA
Do you refer to me sir?

ALFIE
Man doesn’t normally introduce
himself to his wife. But if I must-

Baxter coughs violently. Blood sprays.
Poor Things - Final Cut 86.


DUNCAN
He is the God of it. I do not know
if he is in her power or she in
his. It is a devil’s hand at work
as you see. He coughs not air as a
normal man but blood.
MAX
He has cancer you fucking idiot!
BELLA
Duncan?
DUNCAN
Do not lay your eyes on me you
demon.
ALFIE
As I was saying. General Alfred
Blessington. Alfie to you. You
really do not know me? When Mr.
Wedderburn put your photo in the
paper.
DUNCAN
I remembered that old bird at the
hotel called you Victoria
Blessington. And pieced this
diabolical fuckfest of a puzzle
together.
Bella looks at Alfie.
BELLA
You are-
ALFIE
Your dear Alfie. You left in a
state of some mental addlement and
hysteria over your pregnancy. On
the discovery of your absence I
felt disembowelled. I have
disembowelled men on the field of
battle and I always imagined a dull
hollow throbbing. And that is what
it was like. There is also a
stench, but that does not apply as
a metaphor here. Here you are my
darling. Here you are.
He comes toward her arms outstretched.
BAXTER
Oh God.
BELLA
I have no recollection of you. I am
Bella Baxter.
Poor Things - Final Cut 87.
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Tragedy"]

Summary Bella and Max's wedding is interrupted by Bella's father, Baxter, and her estranged husband, Alfie. Baxter objects to Max, while Alfie claims Bella is his wife and doesn't remember him. The scene ends with Alfie objecting to the wedding.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional depth
  • Complex character development
  • Revealing dialogue
  • Pivotal moments of reconciliation
Weaknesses
  • Complexity may be overwhelming for some viewers
  • Some dialogue may be too verbose or philosophical

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is emotionally charged, with intense dialogue and significant character development. It moves the story forward and sets the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of self-discovery, forgiveness, and acceptance is central to the scene, as characters confront their pasts and make decisions about their futures.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through the characters' interactions and revelations, leading to a pivotal moment of reconciliation and decision-making.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on themes of love, betrayal, and forgiveness, with unique character dynamics and unexpected plot twists. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters undergo significant development, revealing their inner conflicts, desires, and vulnerabilities. Their interactions drive the emotional impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Multiple characters undergo profound changes in the scene, confronting their pasts, making decisions, and seeking reconciliation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate her past experiences as a prostitute and come to terms with her identity and self-worth. She seeks validation and acceptance from her partner, Max, while also grappling with her own feelings of shame and guilt.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to marry Max and move forward with their relationship despite the challenges and obstacles that arise, such as the unexpected appearance of her past lover, Alfie.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a high level of internal and external conflict in the scene, as characters grapple with their pasts, relationships, and decisions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the unexpected appearance of Alfie creating conflict and tension. The audience is left unsure of how the characters will navigate this obstacle.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as characters confront their pasts, make life-altering decisions, and seek reconciliation amidst turmoil and conflict.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by resolving conflicts, revealing truths, and setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected appearance of Alfie, the protagonist's past lover, and the dramatic revelations that follow. The audience is kept on edge and unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around themes of identity, morality, and forgiveness. The protagonist must confront her past actions and choices, while also questioning societal norms and expectations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a significant emotional impact, evoking feelings of empathy, regret, passion, and reflection in the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is intense, emotional, and reflective of the characters' inner turmoil and growth. It conveys the complexity of their relationships and emotions effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, complex character dynamics, and unexpected plot developments. The dialogue and interactions between the characters draw the audience in and create suspense.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of dialogue, action, and emotional beats. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' fates.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the atmosphere and setting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dramatic confrontation, with rising tension, emotional revelations, and a cliffhanger ending. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scenes, making it feel disjointed and abrupt.
  • The dialogue between Bella and Max feels forced and unnatural, lacking depth and emotional resonance.
  • The introduction of Baxter and Prim in the church scene feels rushed and confusing, leaving the audience with unanswered questions about their relationship to Bella.
  • The sudden appearance of Alfie and the revelation of his identity as Bella's husband feels contrived and melodramatic, detracting from the overall narrative flow.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc for Bella, with her sudden decision to marry Max feeling out of character and not adequately supported by the preceding events.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the scene to provide a smoother transition from the previous events, allowing for a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Focus on developing more authentic and emotionally resonant dialogue between Bella and Max to deepen their relationship and motivations.
  • Provide more context and background information on Baxter, Prim, and Alfie to clarify their roles in Bella's life and the significance of their interactions.
  • Avoid introducing melodramatic plot twists and instead focus on building a more organic and believable storyline for Bella's character development.
  • Revisit Bella's emotional journey and motivations throughout the scene to ensure her actions and decisions are consistent with her character development and the overall narrative.



Scene 9 -  Awkward Reunion and Unsettling Revelations
ALFIE
Hurtful but perhaps you hit your
head. And these men have clearly
taken advantage of you.
BAXTER
Please go sir!
Bella looks at Baxter and Max. Back at Alfie.
BELLA
You were my husband?
ALFIE
Your dear Alfie.
BAXTER
Bella. I am sorry.
BELLA
Actually I would like to go.
MAX
What?!
BAXTER
Bella!
BELLA
Do you have a carriage sir?
ALFIE
..Yes!
BELLA
Let us go then.
BAXTER
Bella!
He grabs her arm. She looks at him.
BELLA
Let me go God.
He does.
BELLA (CONT’D)
Will you stop me Max?

He shakes his head.


140 OMITTED 140
Poor Things - Final Cut 88.


141 INT CARRIAGE - DAY 141
Bella sits with Alfie in the carriage. There are flowers on
the seat. It’s a bit awkward. He smiles at her. Pats her
hand.
ALFIE
It is good to have you back
Victoria.

142 EXT ALFIE’S HOUSE GATES - DAY 142
Some gates open.
The carriage pulls into a circular driveway.
High walls. Long driveway.
The gates shut behind her and are bolted.
She looks up at the mansion in front of her.

143 EXT ALFIE’S HOUSE DRIVEWAY - DAY 143
Alfie helps her from the carriage.
As they head up the steps. Alfie pulls a pistol from his
pocket. She looks at it.
ALFIE
The servants and I have not been
getting along. I fear an uprising.
The door opens, a dishevelled butler, a cigarette hanging
from his lip, opens it. Sees Bella. His eyes widen. He steps
back.
ALFIE (CONT’D)
You remember David darling.
David steps back, nods to her.

As they enter, a maid with her arm in a sling, sees Bella.

ALFIE (CONT’D)
Allison look who’s back.

She nods slowly.


144 INT ALFIE’S HOUSE HALLWAY - DAY 144

Allison and Bella walk together along the dusty dishevelled
hallway.
Poor Things - Final Cut 89.


BELLA
You know me?
She nods.
BELLA (CONT’D)
Tell me about myself.

They girl stares at her. Looks away. Keeps walking.

BELLA (CONT’D)
Was I nice?

The girl barks a laugh. They enter a room.

145 INT ALFIE’S HOUSE BELLA’S BEDROOM - DAY 145

Bella takes in the room, she goes to the dressing table. Sees
a writing desk. On the pad is the outline of the word fuck
written forty times.


146 INT ALFIE’S HOUSE DINING ROOM - NIGHT 146

Alfie and Bella sit at the dining table. An array of dishes
on the table. Alfie eats with gusto. She watches him.

ALFIE
Eat. All your favourites. Kippers.
Goose. Tongue. Champagne.
I missed you.

BELLA
What do you think was the root of
the unhappiness, what drove her to
the bridge to leap off?

He stares at her. Smiles.

ALFIE
You hated the baby, and called it
‘the monster’.

BELLA
I see. I have noticed a lack of
maternal instinct.

ALFIE
And yet I am happy to have you
home.

He raises a glass.

BELLA
How did we meet?
Poor Things - Final Cut 90.


ALFIE
At a ball.
BELLA
Why did we like each other?
ALFIE
We shared a love of good times.
Watch. Allison! Soup!
He clicks his finger. The doberman in the corner stands to
attention. Walks over to the door. As the door opens.
ALFIE (CONT’D)
Rex.
The doberman leaps up on its hind legs and barks like crazy,
just as Allison enters with a tureen of soup.

Startled, Allison staggers back, falls, the tureen of soup
going all over her. Alfie roars laughing. Bella can’t help
but laugh too.

ALLISON
Fuck.

She gets up, makes to come at him. He takes his revolver and
waves it in her direction.

ALFIE
We’ll have some cheese when you
can.

BELLA
A love of cruelty. I was not a kind
person it seems.

ALFIE
Kind? You would never be so dull
Victoria. An appalling idea.
Wedderburn says you were a whore. I
suspect it was part of his madn-

BELLA
I was. In Paris. I tired of it but
it was fascinating.

Alfie stares at her as she tries kippers.

ALFIE
Right.

BELLA
These kippers are strangely
delicious. Vinegary or something.
Poor Things - Final Cut 91.
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Mystery"]

Summary Bella arrives at Alfie's mansion, greeted by strange servants. Exploring her bedroom, she finds disturbing writings. At dinner, Alfie reminisces about their past, revealing Bella's lack of maternal instinct. The scene creates an eerie atmosphere, hinting at darker truths about Bella's past and her relationship with Alfie.
Strengths
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some elements of confusion may be overwhelming for the audience

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines drama, romance, and mystery elements, creating a compelling and engaging narrative with a mix of emotions and revelations.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Bella reuniting with her husband, Alfie, and discovering more about her past is intriguing and well-executed, adding depth to the storyline.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses as Bella reunites with Alfie and starts to uncover the truth about her past, adding layers to the overall story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on historical drama, blending elements of mystery, romance, and self-discovery. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and nuanced, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Bella, Alfie, and the supporting cast, are well-developed and their interactions drive the scene forward with depth and complexity.

Character Changes: 7

Bella undergoes a significant emotional journey as she reunites with Alfie and starts to uncover the truth about her past, leading to personal growth and self-discovery.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover her past and understand her own identity. She is grappling with questions about her own character and behavior, seeking validation and clarity.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate her new surroundings and relationships, particularly with Alfie. She is trying to adapt to her environment and understand her role in this unfamiliar setting.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

There is a subtle conflict between Bella, Alfie, and the other characters, driven by the revelations and emotions surfacing during the reunion.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicts arising from the characters' conflicting goals and values. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding suspense and intrigue to the scene.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are raised as Bella confronts her past and starts to unravel the mysteries surrounding her identity and relationships, adding tension to the scene.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key information about Bella's past and setting up new conflicts and dynamics for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' interactions and revelations about the protagonist's past. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the relationships will evolve.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between the protagonist's past actions and her current self-discovery. She is confronted with her own past behavior and must reconcile it with her present beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from confusion and curiosity to regret and amusement, engaging the audience on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging, revealing character dynamics and emotions effectively, with a mix of humor, tension, and introspection.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of mystery, humor, and character dynamics. The tension between the characters and the unfolding mystery of the protagonist's past keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and reflection. The rhythm of the scene enhances the tension and emotional impact of the characters' interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is well-paced and engaging, enhancing the overall flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for its genre, with a clear progression of events and character development. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clarity in terms of character motivations and relationships. It is unclear why Bella is suddenly willing to leave with Alfie, especially after asserting her independence in the previous scenes.
  • The dialogue feels disjointed and lacks depth, especially in the interactions between Bella, Alfie, and the other characters. There is a lack of emotional depth and complexity in the dialogue.
  • The scene transitions are abrupt and could be smoother to improve the flow of the story. The sudden shift from Bella rejecting Duncan to willingly leaving with Alfie is jarring and needs more development.
  • The visual descriptions are minimal and do not effectively set the scene or create a vivid picture for the reader. More attention to detail in the visual elements could enhance the overall impact of the scene.
  • The relationship dynamics between Bella, Alfie, and the other characters are not fully explored or developed. There is a lack of tension and conflict in the interactions, which weakens the dramatic impact of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Clarify Bella's motivations for leaving with Alfie and develop her emotional journey in this scene to make her decision more believable.
  • Revise the dialogue to add depth and complexity to the interactions between the characters, especially in revealing their inner thoughts and feelings.
  • Work on smoother transitions between the different moments in the scene to improve the pacing and coherence of the story.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and engaging setting for the scene, adding details that evoke the mood and atmosphere of the moment.
  • Further develop the relationships between Bella, Alfie, and the other characters to create more tension and conflict, driving the narrative forward and increasing the emotional impact of the scene.



Scene 10 -  Confrontation and Threat
ALFIE
Marriage is a constant challenge
some we bend to some we bend to us.
I will try to forgive you for the
whoring, your sexual hysteria was
often out of hand, and also for the
killing of our unborn child. In
fact when I list how you’ve wronged
me Jesus Christ himself would
probably beat your head in with a
bat. You are blessed with a
forgiving husband.
BELLA
I have not wronged you. For I do
not know you Alfie.
ALFIE
You’re in luck as I’ve had a lot of
experience in the field with
amnesia, either men who wished to
forget where they were, or a mortar
exploded nearby ringing their
cranium like a church bell. I
suggest we stick close to the house
for several months or a year until
you have made a full recovery.
BELLA
I will leave at my leisure but I am
flattered by your desire to trap
me. You are not the first.
ALFIE
I will have to shoot you in the
fucking head if you try to leave
darling.
BELLA
The front or the back of the head?
ALFIE
The back as to be sure you were
leaving and I was not being rash.
I have missed you.
BELLA
So I am a prisoner?
ALFIE
This conversation has gone down an
unfortunate route. I am sure you
will be as happy as you were
before.
BELLA
As I was before? When I threw
myself from a bridge?
Poor Things - Final Cut 92.


ALFIE
I suspect you fell while looking
for fish.
BELLA
Why would you want to keep me here
if I did not wish to stay?
ALFIE
If one is to drown let it be in a
river of love.
David clears his plate. Alfie cocks his weapon.
ALFIE (CONT’D)
Does that pheasant look stripped to
the bone?

DAVID
It was a misjudgement sir. I
apologize.

ALFIE
Desert darling?


147 OMITTED 147


148 OMITTED 148


149 OMITTED 149


150 EXT ALFIE’S HOUSE GATES - DAY 150

Morning. Bella exits into the garden. She goes to the gate.
It is impossible to open. Looks at how high the walls are.
Realizes she’s trapped.

151 INT ALFIE’S HOUSE DINNING ROOM - DAY 151

She passes through the house, hears talking, follows the
sound.

Stands at the door, sees Alfie talking to a doctor.

ALFIE
It comes off easy?

DOCTOR
Like a button on a suit.
I saw them do it in Africa with
sharpened rocks but had my own more
precise device made.
Poor Things - Final Cut 93.


He holds a metal device, a small round circle of metal with a
razor that slides across it.
DOCTOR (CONT’D)
Do you want just clitoral hood, or
glans as well?

ALFIE
The whole infernal packet.

DOCTOR
It will calm her no end.

Bella stands watching, breathing heavily shocked.

ALFIE
This time we will get it done. I
shall get her sedated and bring her
to your surgery this evening.


152 INT ALFIE’S HOUSE BELLA’S BEDROOM - DAY 152

Bella sits in her room, looks at the pad with the word fuck
written over and over.

ALFIE O.S
Victoria darling, where are you?!

CUT TO


153 INT ALFIE’S DINING ROOM - DAY 153

Alfie mixes martinis. Lifts one up. For her.

ALFIE
Ah, perfect timing. Martini.

BELLA
Rather not. I would however like to
leave. I found our time together
interesting, but having now
ascertained why I threw myself from
a bridge. I wish to now go see my
near dead God.

ALFIE
Adorable idea. Unfortunately my
darling my life is dedicated to the
taking of territory. You are mine
and that is the long and short of
it.

BELLA
I am not territory.
Poor Things - Final Cut 94.


ALFIE
The root of the problem is between
your legs and I will have it off
and it will not distract and divert
you anymore. A man spends his life
wrangling his sexual compulsions,
it’s a curse, and yet in some ways
his life’s work. A woman’s life’s
work is children, I intend to rid
you of that infernal packet between
your legs and plant a seed straight
after.
BELLA
Let me explain what has happened.
Victoria, your wife, threw herself
from a bridge and died. Baxter
found her, took her to his surgery,
he then removed the baby, removed
the brain from the baby,
transplanted it into my head and
reanimated me.
ALFIE
Uh huh.
BELLA
I’ll bring you the file. It’s
actually quite fascinating.
However, I will keep my new life
and my lovely old clitoris thank
you. So if you’d call for a
carriage for me-
Alfie draws a gun.
ALFIE
They talk and talk, and at some
point there is nothing left but to
pull a gun. It is the way with
women.
Bella walks to him calmly. He studies her.
ALFIE (CONT’D)
Are you giving in?

BELLA
I’d rather you shot me in the
fucking heart.
Genres: ["Drama","Psychological Thriller"]

Summary Alfie confronts Bella, accusing her of wrongdoing and threatening to shoot her if she leaves. Bella reveals her true identity and backstory. Alfie plans to subject Bella to a procedure against her will, but Bella resists his threats and asserts her autonomy.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High emotional impact
  • Exploration of power dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potentially triggering content
  • Violent themes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, with intense dialogue, high stakes, and a sense of impending danger. It effectively conveys the power dynamics and manipulation at play.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of control, manipulation, and power struggles within a relationship is well-executed. The scene effectively portrays the psychological tension between Bella and Alfie.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly as Bella confronts Alfie and asserts her independence. The conflict between the characters is heightened, leading to a dramatic climax.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and disturbing take on themes of control, power, and gender dynamics. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing the characters' inner conflicts and motivations authentically.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Bella and Alfie are well-developed characters with complex motivations and conflicting desires. Their interactions reveal layers of manipulation and defiance.

Character Changes: 8

Bella undergoes a significant change as she confronts Alfie and asserts her independence. Her defiance and strength are highlighted in the scene.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert her agency and autonomy in the face of Alfie's control and manipulation. She desires freedom and self-determination, reflecting her deeper need for independence and self-respect.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to escape from Alfie's control and manipulation and seek justice for the atrocities committed against her. She wants to expose the truth and regain her freedom.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Bella and Alfie is intense and emotionally charged. The power struggle and threats of violence raise the stakes and create a sense of danger.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with clear power dynamics and conflicts between the characters. The audience is kept on edge by the unpredictable actions and motivations of the protagonist and antagonist.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Bella confronts Alfie and asserts her independence. The threat of violence and manipulation adds tension and danger to the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by resolving the conflict between Bella and Alfie and setting up future developments. Bella's decision to assert her independence propels the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' interactions and motivations. The audience is kept guessing about the outcome of the conflict and the characters' fates.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around power, control, and gender dynamics. Alfie's belief in dominance and ownership clashes with Bella's desire for autonomy and self-determination. This conflict challenges the protagonist's values and beliefs about agency and freedom.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, including tension, defiance, and shock. The power dynamics and manipulation add to the emotional impact of the confrontation.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is intense, confrontational, and impactful. It effectively conveys the power dynamics and emotional tension between Bella and Alfie.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense and confrontational dialogue, dark themes, and complex character dynamics. The tension and suspense keep the audience on edge, eager to see how the conflict unfolds.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' conflicts and motivations. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's impact and emotional intensity.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is formatted correctly, enhancing the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and suspense. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness in conveying the characters' conflicts and motivations.


Critique
  • The dialogue between Bella and Alfie is intense and confrontational, which adds to the tension of the scene. However, some of the dialogue feels overly dramatic and could benefit from more subtlety and nuance.
  • The power dynamic between Bella and Alfie is clear, with Alfie asserting control and dominance over Bella. This dynamic could be further explored and developed to add depth to their relationship.
  • The threat of violence from Alfie towards Bella is a strong dramatic element, but it could be handled with more finesse to avoid veering into melodrama.
  • The revelation of Bella's past and her explanation of her reanimation could be more effectively integrated into the scene to enhance the emotional impact and clarity of the storytelling.
  • The scene transitions between different locations and interactions quite abruptly, which can be disorienting for the audience. Smooth transitions and clearer scene changes could improve the flow of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider toning down the dramatic dialogue to make it more realistic and impactful.
  • Explore the power dynamics between Bella and Alfie in more depth to create a richer and more complex dynamic.
  • Handle the threat of violence with more subtlety and nuance to maintain tension without becoming overly sensational.
  • Integrate Bella's revelation about her past and reanimation more seamlessly into the scene to enhance the emotional resonance.
  • Work on smoother transitions between locations and interactions to improve the flow and coherence of the scene.



Scene 11 -  Confrontation and Aftermath
ALFIE
I will oblige if I have to. Drink
the drink my darling. Chloroform
and gin, delicious.

She picks it up.
Poor Things - Final Cut 95.


BELLA
In some ways it would be a relief
to be rid of my questing self.
ALFIE
Sip deeply and that freedom is
yours.
She tosses it suddenly in his face. Grabs at the gun, they
struggle. It goes off. They stop. There is a hole in Alfie’s
foot. Blood pools out.Bella sees the blood pouring onto the
floor. As does he. Bella still has the gun.
ALFIE (CONT’D)
Fuck.
He reaches for her suddenly, but then topples over. She looks
down at him.

CUT TO


154 OMITTED 154

155 INT BAXTER’S FOYER - DAY 155

Alfie lies on the ground in the foyer, bleeding. Prim stands
staring at him. Bella and Max enter.

BELLA
We must get him up to the surgery.
He will die if we cannot stop it.

PRIM
He’s bleeding a lot.

Alfie is falling in and out of consciousness.

ALFIE
You’re....fucking...de..ad..

He passes out.

MAX
Bella, if he lives...I sense he is
not a man who will stop.

BELLA
I will not watch him bleed to death
Max, but I agree, he could do with
improvement.

Bella and Prim drag Alfie down the hall.
Poor Things - Final Cut 96.


156 INT BAXTER’S HOUSE SURGERY - DAY 156
Alfie lies on the surgical table, unconscious. Max is
operating in his gown. He digs into the bloody flesh, tries
to get the bullet.
MAX
I have controlled the bleeding.
He looks up as Bella leads the goat in.
BELLA
I have the notes.
He looks at her. She smiles.
BELLA (CONT’D)
I am never happier than when I am
in here.

She picks up a scalpel.

CUT TO


157 INT BAXTER’S HOUSE DRAWING ROOM - NIGHT 157

Baxter is set up on the sofa, machines pumping around him.
Bella lays down next to him.

BAXTER
Bella.

She takes his hand.

BAXTER (CONT’D)
You’re back.

She nods.

BELLA
It was just a story of someone
else, not Bella Baxter.

Max lies down the other side of Baxter.

BAXTER
All my life people’s eyes looked at
me, horror, pity...

He smiles as she stares at him with love.

BAXTER (CONT’D)
But you.

He kisses her head.
Poor Things - Final Cut 97.


BAXTER (CONT’D)
It is very interesting... what is
happening...

He presses her hand. She kisses his forehead. She looks at
his hand, limp in hers. He’s dead. His eyes open.

Bella stares at him. With her fingers closes his eye lids.
Lays her head on his chest.


158 EXT BAXTER’S HOUSE GARDEN - DAY 158

In a courtyard garden. Max is making drinks. Prim throws a
ball at Felicity. She has mastered catching the ball. She’s
very happy. Toinette lounging on a chair and next to Bella
reading.

BELLA
Anatomy exam is making me nervous.

MAX
I have tested you many times, you
know it.

TOINETTE
No one knows anatomy better than
you. Crois-moi.

BELLA
Certainement- effectivement.
Ladies? Gin?

PRIM
Please.

FELICITY
Gin.

BELLA
And we should get water for the
general.

We cut to Alfie. He is on the lawn on all fours, eating
grass. He bleats.

PRIM
Felicity. Water.

Alfie eats grass. Bella and Toinette clink glasses, happy.
Max, Prim, happy. Felicity makes her way slowly to get water.

Bella smiles as she reads her book.


THE END
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Dark Comedy"]

Summary Bella and Alfie's struggle over a gun leaves Alfie wounded. Max operates on him while Bella reads to Baxter as he dies. Alfie's animalistic transformation manifests as he eats grass in the garden.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional moments
  • Compelling character development
  • Unique surgical element
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too surreal for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is intense, emotional, and impactful, with a good balance of drama and dark comedy. The confrontation between Bella and Alfie adds depth to the story and characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of facing past mistakes, forgiveness, and acceptance is well-executed in the scene. The surgical element adds a unique twist to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly in this scene, with the resolution of the conflict between Bella and Alfie and the emotional closure with Baxter's character.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a unique blend of historical and fantastical elements, creating a distinct and intriguing world for the characters to inhabit. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the overall originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Bella and Alfie, show depth and development in this scene. Their interactions and emotional arcs are compelling.

Character Changes: 8

Bella undergoes significant character development, facing her past and making decisions about her future. Alfie also experiences a change in perspective.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront their own mortality and the consequences of their actions. Alfie's fear of death and desire for survival are reflected in his struggle to stay conscious and his realization of the severity of his situation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to survive the gunshot wound and the surgery. The immediate challenge they face is the risk of bleeding out and dying.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Bella and Alfie, as well as the internal conflicts faced by the characters, creates a high level of tension and drama in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing significant challenges and obstacles that threaten their survival. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension and drama.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in this scene, with life-threatening situations, emotional confrontations, and significant decisions that impact the characters' futures.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by resolving key conflicts, deepening character relationships, and setting up new dynamics for the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and the outcome of the conflict. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will resolve.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of life and death, morality, and the consequences of one's actions. The characters grapple with the value of human life and the choices they make.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, especially during the confrontation and resolution moments. The emotional depth adds to the overall impact.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is impactful and serves the emotional intensity of the scene. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, dramatic tension, and emotional depth. The characters' struggles and conflicts draw the audience in and keep them invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of action and quieter moments. The rhythm of the scene enhances its emotional impact and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions and character actions are effectively conveyed.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and coherent structure, with a well-defined beginning, middle, and end. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness and emotional impact.


Critique
  • The scene lacks clarity in terms of the characters' motivations and emotions during the struggle between Bella and Alfie. It is not clear why Bella suddenly tosses the drink in Alfie's face and grabs the gun, leading to the struggle. This lack of clarity can confuse the audience and weaken the impact of the scene.
  • The transition from the struggle between Bella and Alfie to the next scene in Baxter's foyer feels abrupt and disjointed. There is a need for a smoother transition to maintain the flow of the narrative and keep the audience engaged.
  • The dialogue between Bella and Alfie during the struggle lacks depth and emotional resonance. It would benefit from more meaningful and impactful exchanges to convey the intensity of the situation and the characters' conflicting emotions.
  • The visual description of the scene, particularly the struggle between Bella and Alfie, could be enhanced to create a more vivid and immersive experience for the audience. Adding more sensory details and vivid imagery can help bring the scene to life and evoke stronger emotions.
  • The resolution of the conflict between Bella and Alfie, with Bella ultimately shooting him in the foot, feels anticlimactic and lacks a satisfying conclusion. There is a need for a more impactful and emotionally resonant resolution to this conflict.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the characters' motivations and emotions during the struggle between Bella and Alfie to make the scene more engaging and impactful.
  • Improve the transition between the struggle scene and the next scene in Baxter's foyer to maintain the narrative flow and coherence.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Bella and Alfie to add depth and emotional resonance to their interactions.
  • Revise the visual description of the scene to create a more immersive and vivid experience for the audience.
  • Rework the resolution of the conflict between Bella and Alfie to provide a more satisfying and emotionally resonant conclusion to the scene.