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Scene 1 - The Wild Jungle of Wealth

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET

Written by

Terence Winter

Based on the book
by

Jordan Belfort

White Shooting Script - September 7th, 2012
Blue Revised Pages - September 25th, 2012
Pink Revised Pages - October 9th, 2012
Yellow Revised Pages - October 15th, 2012
Green Revised Pages - October 16th, 2012
Goldenrod Revised Pages - October 19th, 2012
Buff Revised Pages - March 5th, 2013
1 INSERT - TV COMMERCIAL - DAY 1

Over jungle sound effects, the CAMERA is low, moving
through brush from the POV of a stalking animal. As the
brush parts, revealing Wall Street and the New York Stock
Exchange, we HEAR the resonant voice of GENE HACKMAN.

GENE HACKMAN (V.O.)
The world of investing can be a
jungle.

1A WE SEE a charging, snorting BULL. 1A

GENE HACKMAN (V.O.)
Bulls.

1B WE SEE a ferocious, growling BEAR. 1B

GENE HACKMAN (V.O.)
Bears. Danger at every turn.

Pretentious CLASSICAL MUSIC kicks in.

GENE HACKMAN (V.O.)
That’s why we at Stratton Oakmont
pride ourselves on being the best.

1C-1D VARIOUS SHOTS -- a conservative young MAN reviews a stock 1C-1D
portfolio with a wealthy older COUPLE; a smiling young
WOMAN sits before a computer talking into a headset.

GENE HACKMAN (V.O.)
Trained professionals to guide you
through the financial wilderness.

1E WE SEE the Stratton “team” - an ethnically diverse group 1E
of ACTORS with their handsome, grey-templed “CHAIRMAN”.

GENE HACKMAN (V.O.)
Stratton Oakmont. Stabilty.
Integrity. Pride.

1F WE SEE a shot of the black glass Stratton Building, and: 1F

2 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - BULLPEN - DAY (FEB ‘95) 2

Absolute bedlam. 300 drunken STOCKBROKERS, most in their
early 20s, chant wildly as JORDAN BELFORT, handsome, 30,
stands beside a DWARF dressed in tights, cape & helmet.

JORDAN
Twenty five grand to the first
cocksucker to nail a bullseye!

The “bullseye” is a large dollar sign in the middle of a
giant velcro “dartboard”.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 2.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Watch and learn, people!

The Brokers go apeshit as Jordan grabs the Dwarf by his
pants and collar. In the Crowd, cash flies as side bets
are made. Jordan winds up, aims for the “dartboard”.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
One. Two. Throw!!

The Brokers cheer, and as the screaming Dwarf takes
flight, hurtling toward camera, we FREEZE FRAME:

JORDAN (V.O.) (CONT’D)
My name is Jordan Belfort. No, not *
him, me. I’m a former member of *
the middle class raised by two
accountants in a tiny apartment in
Bayside, Queens.

3-3B A SERIES OF POLAROIDS -- (1969) 3-3B
*

Jordan, 7, smiles as he poses behind a lemonade stand,
his parents Max and Leah behind him; Jordan, 13, stands
holding a styrofoam cooler, selling ices on the beach;
Jordan, 18, smiles as he holds an Amway sales brochure.

JORDAN (V.O.)
The year I turned 26, I made 49
million dollars as the head of
my own brokerage firm--

4 EXT. LONG ISLAND EXPRESSWAY - DAY (FEB ‘95) 4

A CHERRY RED Ferrari Testarossa ZOOMS down the L.I.E.

JORDAN (V.O.)
--which really pissed me off
because it was three shy of a
million a week.

The Ferrari weaves in and out of traffic.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Hey, my Ferrari was white, like
Don Johnson’s in Miami Vice.

We see the same Ferrari, now in WHITE, as it zooms away,
a BLONDE head bobbing up and down in Jordan’s lap.

5 EXT. LONG ISLAND’S NORTH SHORE - DAY (FEB ‘95) 5

A twin-engine Bell Jet helicopter descends over a huge
mansion, with sparkling pool, tennis court and waterfall.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 3.

JORDAN (V.O.)
See that humongous estate down
there? That’s my house.

6 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY (FEB ‘95) 6

We see NAOMI, 24, blonde and gorgeous, a living wet dream
in LaPerla lingerie.

JORDAN (V.O.)
My wife, Naomi, the Duchess of Bay
Ridge, Brooklyn, a former model
and Miller Lite girl.

Naomi licks her lips; she’s incredibly, painfully hot.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Yeah, she was the one blowing me
in the Ferrari, so put your dick
back in your pants.

Over the following, WE SEE a quick

7-7C SERIES OF SHOTS 7-7C

All taken from TV; a mansion from Lifestyles of the Rich
and Famous; wealthy PEOPLE applauding at a polo match;
a yacht sailing crystal blue seas; Robert Wagner and
Stephanie Powers toasting with champagne on Hart to Hart.

JORDAN (V.O.)
In addition to Naomi and my two
perfect kids, I own a mansion,
private jet, six cars, three
horses, two vacation homes and
a 170 foot yacht.

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary The scene begins with a TV commercial narrated by Gene Hackman, illustrating the financial world as a chaotic jungle. It then shifts to the bustling bullpen of Stratton Oakmont, where Jordan Belfort leads a drunken dart-throwing contest involving a dwarf, showcasing the reckless culture of the stockbrokers. Through voiceover, Jordan recounts his rise from a middle-class background to immense wealth, highlighting his extravagant lifestyle with visuals of his mansion and Ferrari. The tone is exuberant and chaotic, reflecting the hedonistic lifestyle embraced by the characters.

Strengths

Engaging introduction of characters and themes
Humorous and satirical tone
Visually captivating

Weaknesses

Potential glorification of excess and unethical behavior

Critique

The opening scene effectively sets the tone for the film, using the metaphor of a jungle to describe the chaotic world of investing. However, the transition from the commercial to the chaotic bullpen could be smoother to maintain the viewer's engagement.
The use of Gene Hackman's voiceover is a strong choice, as it adds gravitas and a sense of authority to the narrative. However, the voiceover could benefit from being more concise, as some lines feel repetitive and could be trimmed to enhance pacing.
The introduction of Jordan Belfort is compelling, but the scene could delve deeper into his character. While we see his extravagant lifestyle, it would be beneficial to hint at his motivations or insecurities to create a more complex character from the outset.
The chaotic atmosphere in the bullpen is well depicted, but the scene risks overwhelming the audience with too much information at once. Consider focusing on a few key characters or moments to ground the chaos and make it more relatable.
The use of humor, particularly with the dwarf and the dart-throwing contest, is a bold choice that sets the film's irreverent tone. However, it may come off as insensitive to some viewers. It’s important to balance humor with sensitivity to ensure it resonates positively with the audience.
The freeze frame and voiceover combination is a classic technique, but it may feel clichéd to some viewers. Finding a more innovative way to introduce Jordan's backstory could enhance the originality of the scene.

Suggestions

Consider adding a brief moment of reflection from Jordan during the chaos, allowing the audience to connect with his character on a deeper level before diving into the wild antics.
Streamline the voiceover to focus on key points that highlight Jordan's ambition and the stakes of his world, avoiding redundancy to keep the audience engaged.
Introduce a secondary character who can serve as a foil to Jordan, providing contrast and depth to his character while also grounding the chaotic environment.
Incorporate visual storytelling elements that show the consequences of the brokers' actions, hinting at the darker side of their lifestyle to create a more nuanced portrayal.
Reassess the humor involving the dwarf to ensure it aligns with the overall tone of the film and does not alienate viewers. Consider using humor that highlights the absurdity of the situation without crossing into potentially offensive territory.

Scene 2 - The Thrill of Excess

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

8 INT. HOTEL BEDROOM - NIGHT (FEB ‘95) 8

Sweaty, wild-eyed and naked, Jordan fucks an HISPANIC
HOOKER from behind.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I also gamble like a degenerate,
drink like a fish, fuck hookers
maybe five times a week and have
three different Federal agencies
looking to indict me.

He dismounts, snorts some coke through a straw, then uses
it to blow some into her asshole.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Oh yeah, and I love drugs.
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Jordan looks up suddenly, paranoid, as if he’s hearing
voices.

9 INT. HELICOPTER - NIGHT (FEB ‘95) 9

Jordan, drooling and stoned out of his skull, wears a
rumpled custom-made business suit as he mans a set of
controls next to his frantic co-pilot, CAPTAIN DAVE.

CAPTAIN DAVE
Pull up! Jesus! We’re gonna
crash!!

Jordan’s head bobs as he pulls back on the stick.
The helicopter rises sharply, then levels out, hovering
30 feet above a huge mansion. Down below, through
Jordan’s hazy, DOUBLE VISIONED POV, we see a sparkling
pool, tennis court and waterfall.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Check this out -- despite my
completely fucked-up state, I
could fly straight while still
seeing two of everything.

He closes one eye; his POV sharpens. Putting pressure on
the stick, the helicopter descends slowly over the
driving range... then LURCHES and SLAMS to the ground.

JORDAN
(to Captain Dave)
Ya guzza git hazarous doozy pay,
buddy.

10 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - FRONT DOOR - DAY (FEB ‘95) 10

Morning. Sober now, impeccable in suit and tie, Jordan
heads for the door holding a glass of orange juice.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Yes, on a daily basis I take
enough drugs to sedate greater
Long Island.

11 EXT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - CONTINUOUS (FEB ‘95) 11

He pops two white pills, swigs some juice, then speaks
directly to the camera as he heads for a waiting limo.

JORDAN
I take Quaaludes for my back,
fifteen to twenty a day.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 5.
JORDAN (CONT'D)
I use Xanax to stay focused,
ambien to sleep, pot to mellow
out, cocaine to wake up and
morphine because it’s awesome.

12 EXT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - LONG ISLAND - DAY (FEB ‘95) 12

The limo pulls up to the black glass office building.
Jordan gets out, heads inside through a back door.

JORDAN
But of all the drugs under God’s
blue heaven, there’s one that’s my
absolute favorite.

13 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY (FEB ‘95) 13

Gadgets, computers, oxblood leather furniture. With
the DIN of the brokerage firm bleeding in, Jordan uses
a credit card to cut a line of coke on his desk. As he
peels a crisp $100 DOLLAR BILL off a wad, rolls it up:

JORDAN
Enough of this shit’ll make you
invincible, able to conquer the
world and eviscerate your enemies.

He SNARFS up the line, gestures to the cocaine.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
I’m not talking about this. I’m
talking about this.
(Jordan unfurls the
$100 with a SNAP)
Money is the oxygen of capitalism
and I wanna breathe more than any
other human being alive.

He crumbles it into a ball and tosses it into a corner,
where it comes to rest with two dozen others. Over his
back as we TRACK HIM out of his office toward what sounds
like the ROAR of a mob--

JORDAN (V.O.)
Money doesn’t just buy you a
better life -- better food, better
cars, better pussy -- it also
makes you a better person. You
can give generously to the church
of your choice or the political
party. You can save the fucking
spotted owl with money.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 6.

14 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - BULLPEN - DAY (FEB ‘95) 14

Arms akimbo, Jordan stands above the bullpen, a huge open
space with tightly packed rows of maple colored desks.

JORDAN (V.O.)
But most of all, in any country in
the world, money can buy you love.
Fuck the Beatles.

His 300 BROKERS, mostly young men with their jackets off,
scream wildly. They worship him.

JORDAN (V.O.)
With that in mind, at the tender
age of 22, after marrying my
girlfriend Teresa--

14A SCENES 14A - 18 OMITTED 14A

19 EXT. WALL STREET - DAY (MAY ‘87) 19

An express bus pull up -- its sign reads “Wall
Street”....

JORDAN (V.O.)
--I headed to the only place that
befit my high-minded ambitions...

Jordan emerges, kisses TERESA goodbye, then joins a sea
of Commuters heading to work.

JERRY FOGEL (PRE-LAP)
You are lower than fucking pond
scum.

Genres: ["Drama","Biography","Crime"]

Summary In this chaotic scene, Jordan indulges in a reckless lifestyle marked by drug use and gambling, beginning with a sexual encounter with a hooker. His hedonism escalates during a perilous helicopter ride, where he endangers himself and others while under the influence. The morning after, Jordan appears sober and impeccably dressed, reflecting on his obsession with money as he heads to his office. He asserts that wealth is essential for success and happiness, ultimately showcasing his power over his brokers, reinforcing the allure of his extravagant lifestyle.

Strengths

Compelling character exploration
Dark and hedonistic tone
Effective setup of themes and conflicts

Weaknesses

Graphic drug use may be off-putting to some audiences

Critique

The scene effectively establishes Jordan's hedonistic lifestyle and sets the tone for his character's reckless behavior. However, the explicit nature of the sexual act and drug use may alienate some viewers, potentially overshadowing the narrative's deeper themes of excess and moral decay.
The voiceover provides insight into Jordan's mindset, but it risks becoming repetitive. The audience may benefit from more varied expressions of his thoughts, perhaps through interactions with other characters or visual storytelling, rather than relying solely on voiceover.
The transition between the hotel bedroom and the helicopter scene is abrupt. While it showcases Jordan's chaotic life, a smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative. Consider using a visual motif or thematic element that connects the two settings more cohesively.
The portrayal of the hooker and the drug use, while fitting the character's lifestyle, could be seen as objectifying and may detract from the audience's ability to empathize with Jordan. Balancing the depiction of his vices with moments of vulnerability or reflection could create a more nuanced character.
The dialogue, particularly in the helicopter scene, feels exaggerated and cartoonish. While this may be intentional to emphasize Jordan's drug-induced state, it risks undermining the tension of the moment. Striking a balance between humor and seriousness could enhance the impact of the scene.

Suggestions

Consider incorporating more visual storytelling elements to convey Jordan's mindset and lifestyle, such as quick cuts to his extravagant possessions or chaotic parties, rather than relying heavily on voiceover.
Introduce a secondary character in the hotel scene who reacts to Jordan's behavior, providing a contrasting perspective that could deepen the audience's understanding of his character and the consequences of his actions.
Explore the emotional ramifications of Jordan's lifestyle by including brief moments of introspection or regret, which could add depth to his character and make him more relatable to the audience.
Refine the dialogue in the helicopter scene to maintain the comedic tone while ensuring it doesn't detract from the tension. Consider using more realistic language that reflects the high-stakes situation.
Enhance the transitions between scenes to create a more fluid narrative. For example, using sound design or visual motifs that echo from one scene to the next can help maintain the audience's engagement.

Scene 3 - The Thrill of the Trading Floor

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 9

20 INT. L.F. ROTHSCHILD - BULLPEN - DAY (MAY ‘87) 20

Computers, telephones everywhere. At their desks, 45
shirt-sleeved BROKERS read their Wall St. Journals,
readying for war. Like an eager puppy, Jordan follows
broker JERRY FOGEL, 30, thick-lipped and bow-tied...

JERRY FOGEL
You got a problem with that?
(reads name tag)
Jordan?

JORDAN
Nope. No problem at all.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 7.

JERRY FOGEL
Your job is ‘connector’, which
means you'll be dialing the phone
over 500 times a day, trying to
‘connect’ me with business owners.
And till you pass your Series 7,
that’s all you’ll be doing. Sit.

Jordan takes a seat at the desk next to Fogel’s.

JERRY FOGEL (CONT’D)
Just so you know, last year I made
over 300k and the other guy you'll
be working for made a million.

JORDAN (V.O.)
A million dollars? I could only
imagine what a douchebag that guy
must be.

A manicured hand lands on Jordan’s shoulder. It’s MARK
HANNA, 30s, charismatic, movie-star handsome.

MARK HANNA
Jordan? Mark Hanna.
(re: Fogel)
Good, you’ve met Jerry. One of
the smartest guys in the office.
Who’s ever sucked a dog’s cock out
of loneliness.

Fogel’s smile turns to a frown. He hands Jordan a stack
of 3x5 index cards.

JERRY FOGEL
Smile and dial. And don’t pick
your fucking head up till one.

MARK HANNA
Don’t mind Jerry, his father raped
him as a child. Besides, I'm
senior broker here, he's a
worthless piker. I heard you
pitched stock at your job
interview.

JORDAN
Had to do something to stand out.

MARK HANNA
I fuckin’ love that! Let’s grab
lunch later. Windows good with
you?

JORDAN
Great. Yeah.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 8.

Hanna gives him a wink, looks at the clock on the giant
electronic stock ticker encircling the room -- 9:30 a.m.

MARK HANNA
Let’s fuck!!

RING!!! Absolute pandemonium at the BELL signalling the
opening of the stock market. Feet fly off desks; Brokers
and their Connectors dial phones like mad. The CAMERA
PUSHES IN on JORDAN, mesmerized as he takes in the ROAR.

BROKER #1
(to Broker #2)
Miniscribe's a fuckin’ steal!
Thirty eight bucks a share!

MARK HANNA
(into headset)
Your broker in West Virginia?
What are you buying, a coal mine?
It's the 80s, the game is high-
tech.

BROKER #2
(to Broker #3)
Fuckface! I got 50,000 July 50s!

JORDAN (V.O.)
You want to know what money sounds
like? Visit a trading floor on
Wall Street. Fuck this, shit
that. Cock, cunt, asshole. I
couldn’t believe how these guys
talked to each other--

Fogel notices Jordan sitting there frozen. He covers his
mouthpiece, kicks the desk violently.

JERRY FOGEL
Dial the cocksucking phone!

Jordan snaps out of it, starts dialing.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I was hooked within seconds.

Mark Hanna slams down his phone in victory, scrawls out a
“buy” ticket. He places the ticket into a glass cylinder
which he slips into a plastic pneumatic tube.

JORDAN (V.O.)
It was like mainlining adrenaline.

The tube is WHOOSHED into the ceiling and we’re suddenly--
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 9.

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a bustling Wall Street brokerage office in May 1987, Jordan is introduced to his role as a 'connector' by the stern broker Jerry Fogel. He soon meets the charismatic Mark Hanna, who contrasts Fogel's strictness with his carefree attitude. As the stock market opens, chaos erupts with brokers making frantic calls, and Jordan becomes captivated by the high-energy environment, realizing he is hooked on the adrenaline of trading. The scene highlights the conflicting approaches to success between Fogel and Hanna, culminating in Jordan fully immersing himself in the frenetic world of Wall Street.

Strengths

Dynamic dialogue
Vivid characters
Engaging setting

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Slightly chaotic pacing

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic energy of a Wall Street trading floor, immersing the audience in the high-stakes environment. The use of dialogue and voiceover provides insight into Jordan's character and his initial impressions of the brokerage world.
The contrast between Jerry Fogel's stern demeanor and Mark Hanna's charismatic, brash attitude is well-executed, showcasing the different personalities within the brokerage. This dynamic sets the stage for Jordan's journey and the influences he will encounter.
Jordan's voiceover is a strong narrative device that allows the audience to understand his thoughts and feelings, but it could benefit from more specificity about his motivations and aspirations. While he expresses a desire for wealth, delving deeper into his emotional state could enhance character development.
The dialogue is sharp and often humorous, but some lines, particularly those from Mark Hanna, may come off as overly crude or gratuitous. While this reflects the culture of the brokerage, balancing humor with character depth could create a more nuanced portrayal.
The pacing of the scene is frenetic, which is appropriate for the setting, but it risks overwhelming the audience. Careful attention to the rhythm of dialogue and action could help maintain clarity while still conveying chaos.

Suggestions

Consider adding a moment of reflection for Jordan amidst the chaos, allowing the audience to see his internal conflict or excitement more clearly. This could deepen the emotional impact of his initial experience on the trading floor.
Explore the relationships between the characters further. For instance, a brief exchange between Jordan and Fogel could highlight the tension between the old guard and the new, providing context for Jordan's ambitions.
While the crude humor is fitting for the environment, consider varying the types of humor used. Incorporating moments of genuine camaraderie or competition among the brokers could add depth to their interactions.
To enhance the visual storytelling, consider using more dynamic camera movements or angles that reflect the chaos of the trading floor. This could help convey the frenetic energy without relying solely on dialogue.
Ensure that the voiceover complements the action rather than distracts from it. Streamlining some of the voiceover lines could help maintain focus on the visual elements of the scene.

Scene 4 - The Allure of Wall Street

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 9

21 INT. WINDOWS ON THE WORLD - DAY (MAY ‘87) 21

CLOSE ON a COKE SPOON whose contents disappear up a
nostril. PULL BACK TO REVEAL...

The lunchtime power spot with panoramic views of the
city. At a corner table, a paranoid Jordan looks around
as Hanna does another bump of coke. None of the other
DINERS seem to notice or care.

MARK HANNA
(offering the spoon)
Got enough for one more? Tootski?

JORDAN
No. Thanks though.

Hanna slips the vial into his pocket as HECTOR, the
tuxedoed Maitre’D, approaches.

HECTOR
Mr. Hanna, what can I bring for
you on this glorious afternoon?

Hanna surreptitiously palms Hector a $100; Jordan
notices.

MARK HANNA
Here’s the game plan, Hector.
Bring us two Absolut Martinis
straight up. Precisely seven and
a half minutes after you deliver
those you’ll bring two more, then
two more every five minutes until
one of us passes out.

HECTOR
An excellent strategy, sir.

JORDAN
Actually, I’m good with 7-Up.

Jordan might as well have farted at the table.

MARK HANNA
First day on Wall Street, Hector.
Give him time.
(Hector offers menus)
No thanks, I’m not eating.

Hector heads off.

JORDAN
You can get high during the day
and still function?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 10.

MARK HANNA
High is the only way to do this
fucking job. Guy who coined the
term “three-martini lunch” was a
woman. Cocaine and hookers, my
friend, the keys to success.

Jordan smiles, not sure if Hanna is kidding.

JORDAN
I gotta say, I’m really excited
about being part of your team.
I wanna do all I can for our
clients and --

MARK HANNA
(reciting an ad)
“Here at L.F. Rothschild, our
clients aren’t just important,
they’re family.” Just as long as
we get our taste first. Remember
something, Jordan, your top
priority in this job: make us
money. If the clients get rich
along the way, bully for them.
Got a girlfriend?

JORDAN
Wife. She cuts hair.

Mark swallows a comment about that. Gets to business.

MARK HANNA
OK, first rule of Wall Street.
Nobody -- and I don’t care if
you’re Warren Buffet or Jimmy
Buffet -- nobody knows if a
stock’s going up, down or fucking
sideways, least of all stock
brokers. But we have to pretend
we know. Make sure you stay
relaxed. Nobody wants to buy
something from someone who sounds
like they haven’t gotten laid in a
month. Take breaks when you feel
stressed, jerk off if you can.
You like jerking off, right?

JORDAN
Well... sure.

MARK HANNA
Good, jerking off is key. And I
highly recommend cocaine, which
will make you dial faster, which
is good for me. Churn ‘em and
burn ‘em, baby.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 11.

A BUSBOY stops by with a fresh napkin for Mark who thanks
him. Then, discreetly as possible, Mark removes a fresh
vial of cocaine tucked within and takes a quick snort.
Jordan realizes: that’s why he palmed the maitre d’ $100.

JORDAN (V.O.)
For the next six months I learned
the ways of Wall Street.

22 INT. STRIP CLUB - NIGHT (OCT ‘87) 22

As STRIPPERS grind in b.g, Jordan parties with Mark Hanna
and dozens of BROKERS and TRAINEES. Jordan sips a
martini and studies Mark Hanna, hitting on a STRIPPER.

JORDAN (V.O.)
That fall I passed my Series 7.
Finally it was here.

23 INT. ROTHSCHILD BUILDING - LOBBY - DAY (OCT ‘87) 23

Briefcase in hand, Jordan boards the elevator with a
dozen other BROKERS.

JORDAN (V.O.)
My first day as a stockbroker, a
future Master of the Universe.

And as the doors close, on screen WE SEE:

OCTOBER 19th, 1987

24 INT. L.F. ROTHSCHILD - BULLPEN - DAY (OCT ‘87) 24

Total chaos. Jordan dials the phone as all around him
Brokers panic, screaming into headsets.

JORDAN (V.O.)
They called it Black Monday.
By four p.m. the market was down
508 points, the biggest one-day
drop since the crash of ‘29.

4 p.m. The closing bell RINGS; the entire place goes
silent. Brokers look at each other, stunned.

MARK HANNA
Holy. Fucking. Shit.

And as the Brokers start commiserating with each other...
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 12.

JORDAN (V.O.)
L.F. Rothschild, a company that
had been in business since 1883,
closed its doors within a month.

Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary In an upscale New York restaurant, Jordan meets Mark Hanna, who introduces him to the hedonistic and ruthless culture of Wall Street. Over cocaine and martinis, Hanna shares his cynical views on success, emphasizing the importance of confidence and indulgence. As Jordan grapples with his moral compass amidst the seductive lifestyle, the scene transitions to a strip club, foreshadowing his chaotic entry into the world of stockbroking during Black Monday.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Compelling characters
Intense atmosphere

Weaknesses

Depiction of drug use may be excessive for some viewers

Critique

The scene effectively captures the hedonistic culture of Wall Street in the 1980s, showcasing the juxtaposition of power and excess through the dialogue between Jordan and Mark Hanna. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext; while it is humorous and engaging, some lines feel overly expository, particularly Hanna's advice about cocaine and sex. This could be streamlined to maintain a natural flow while still conveying the same message.
The visual elements, such as the close-up of the coke spoon and the panoramic views of the city, set a strong tone for the scene. However, the transition from the restaurant to the strip club could be more seamless. The abrupt shift feels jarring and could be enhanced with a more gradual transition that builds anticipation for the chaos that follows.
Jordan's character is established as impressionable and eager, but his internal conflict about the lifestyle he is being introduced to could be more pronounced. While he expresses excitement, there is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into his apprehension about the moral implications of Hanna's advice. This would add depth to his character and create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
The pacing of the scene is generally good, but it could benefit from moments of silence or reflection, particularly after Hanna's more shocking statements. Allowing the audience to absorb the weight of what is being said would enhance the impact of the dialogue and the overall atmosphere of the scene.
The use of voiceover is effective in providing context and insight into Jordan's thoughts, but it could be used more strategically. For instance, instead of summarizing what he learned over the next six months, it might be more engaging to show specific moments or lessons learned through flashbacks or visual storytelling.

Suggestions

Consider tightening the dialogue to reduce exposition and allow for more subtext. This can create a more natural conversation that feels less scripted.
Enhance the transition between the restaurant and the strip club by incorporating a visual or auditory cue that links the two locations, such as a lingering shot of the city skyline or the sound of music leading into the next scene.
Deepen Jordan's internal conflict by incorporating more of his thoughts or reactions to Hanna's advice, perhaps through additional voiceover or visual cues that show his hesitation or moral struggle.
Introduce moments of silence or pauses after key lines to allow the audience to process the implications of Hanna's advice, which would heighten the tension and drama of the scene.
Utilize the voiceover to highlight specific lessons or experiences rather than summarizing them, potentially through flashbacks that illustrate Jordan's journey and transformation during his first months on Wall Street.

Scene 5 - From Struggles to Success

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 9

25 INT. JORDAN & TERESA’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY (DEC ‘87) 25

Jordan sits at the table perusing the Times classifieds.
Teresa approaches with two coffees. Sits next to him.

TERESA
So I’ll take an extra shift, don’t
worry about it.

JORDAN
You work too much as it is.

TERESA
We could pawn my engagement ring.

JORDAN
We’re not pawning anything. I’m
gonna be a millionaire, Teresa.

TERESA
You know that doesn’t matter,
right?

He smiles, kisses her. Together, they peruse the ads.

JORDAN
(points to an ad)
“Nobody Beats the Wiz”. I could
be a stock boy.

TERESA
You’re a stock broker.

JORDAN
No one’s hiring brokers right now,
sweetie.

They go back to the ads. After a few beats, she points--

TERESA
This place is.

26 EXT. STRIP MALL - PARKING LOT - LONG ISLAND - DAY (DEC ‘87) 26

In a suit, Jordan emerges from an ‘85 Datsun. He looks
around confused, heads toward an unmarked storefront.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 13.

27 INT. INVESTOR’S CENTER - DAY (DEC ‘87) 27

The antithesis of L.F. Rothschild, with cheap furniture
and a dozen misfit “BROKERS” giving loud, obnoxious sales
pitches. Jordan enters, a modern man among cave people.
DWAYNE, slovenly, 35, with a walrus mustache, looks up.

JORDAN
I’m looking for Investor’s Center?

DWAYNE
That’s us, hey. Dwayne.

JORDAN
(as they shake hands)
Jordan Belfort, I called earlier.
I was a broker with Rothschild.

Dwayne motions Jordan to a seat. Nearby, a Broker in
ratty Keds, TOBY WELCH, is screaming into his phone.

TOBY WELCH
I’m tellin’ you, this stock is
goin’ up!... Cause I know,
okay?!... I have inside
information!

Jordan looks at him, appalled at what he’s hearing.

JORDAN
Where are your quotrons?

DWAYNE
No quotrons, we sell off the pink
sheets -- penny stocks.

Dwayne slides Jordan a large thin book; its pages are
literally pink. He explains as Jordan flips the pages:

DWAYNE (CONT’D)
Company don’t have enough capital
to be listed on NASDAQ, their
shares trade here.
(points to the book)
Like these guys, Aerotyne? They
make radar detectors out of a
garage in Dubuque.

JORDAN
Six cents a share? Who buys this
crap?

DWAYNE
Schmucks mostly. Mailmen,
plumbers, people thinking they can
get rich quick. They answer our
ads, Popular Mechanics, Hustler.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 14.

JORDAN
The spread on these is huge.

DWAYNE
So’s your commission, that’s the
point. Blue chips stocks you get
what, one percent? Pink sheets
are fifty.

JORDAN
Wait a second. You’re telling me
if I sell two thousand dollars
worth of stock, my commission is a
thousand bucks?

DWAYNE
Technically, yeah, but not even
the biggest schmuck buys two
thousand dollars of this shit.

28 INT. INVESTOR’S CENTER - (LATER THAT) DAY (DEC ’87) 28

As others Brokers bark into phones, Jordan sits, phone
cradled in his shoulder, making notes. A few beats, then:

JORDAN
(into phone)
Mr. Fleming, good morning, Jordan
Belfort with Investor’s Center in
New York City. You recently
responded to one of our ads...

A few of the other Brokers glance over, eavesdropping.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
The reason I’m calling is that
an extremely exciting investment
opportunity crossed my desk today.
Typically our firm recommends no
more than five stocks per year:
this is one of them...

A few more Brokers look over...

JORDAN (CONT'D)
Aerotyne International is a
cutting edge tech firm out of the
Midwest, awaiting imminent patent
approval on a new generation of
radar equipment...

LATER. Now all the Brokers listen in rapt attention.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 15.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
-- so if Aerotyne’s shares rise
to only a dollar -- and our
research indicates they could go
much, much higher -- your profit
on a mere three thousand dollar
investment would be upwards of
fifty thousand... That’s right,
you could pay off your mortgage.

Seconds tick by; an eternity, then he starts writing:

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Four thousand dollars, will
that be check or money order?...
Thank you, sir.

Jordan hangs up, scrawls out a “buy” ticket.

JORDAN (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Just like that I made two grand.
The other guys looked at me like
I’d just discovered fire.

Toby Welch and the other cave-Brokers stare at him.

TOBY WELCH
How’d you fuckin’ do that?

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Biography"]

Summary In this scene, Jordan and Teresa confront their financial difficulties in their apartment, with Teresa suggesting practical solutions like taking extra shifts and pawning her engagement ring, which Jordan vehemently opposes. The scene shifts to the chaotic Investor's Center, where Jordan learns about penny stocks. He quickly adapts to the environment and impresses his peers by successfully making a sales call, earning two thousand dollars and showcasing his determination to succeed despite their struggles.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Strong character dynamics
Effective setup of conflict

Weaknesses

Moderate emotional impact
Some cliched elements in the setting

Critique

The scene effectively establishes the contrast between Jordan's previous high-status position at L.F. Rothschild and his current situation at the Investor's Center, which is depicted as a chaotic and unprofessional environment. This juxtaposition highlights Jordan's desperation and ambition, setting the stage for his transformation into a penny stock salesman.
The dialogue between Jordan and Teresa at the beginning of the scene serves to humanize Jordan, showing his relationship struggles and the pressure of financial instability. However, the emotional stakes could be heightened by delving deeper into Teresa's feelings about their situation, which would add more depth to their dynamic.
The introduction of Dwayne and the other brokers at the Investor's Center is effective in showcasing the absurdity of the penny stock business. However, the character of Dwayne could be fleshed out more to make him memorable, as he currently serves more as an exposition tool than a fully realized character.
Jordan's transition from skepticism about penny stocks to excitement about the potential commissions is well-executed, but it could benefit from a more explicit internal conflict. Showing a moment of hesitation or moral questioning before he fully embraces this new path would add complexity to his character.
The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the transition from the conversation with Teresa to the Investor's Center could be smoother. A brief moment of reflection or a visual cue could help bridge the two locations and emphasize Jordan's mindset as he moves into this new world.

Suggestions

Consider adding a moment where Teresa expresses her fears or frustrations more explicitly, which would deepen the emotional impact of their conversation and make Jordan's subsequent decisions feel more consequential.
Flesh out Dwayne's character by giving him a memorable quirk or backstory that makes him stand out among the other brokers, which would enhance the comedic and chaotic atmosphere of the Investor's Center.
Incorporate a brief internal monologue or visual cue that illustrates Jordan's internal struggle as he grapples with the ethics of selling penny stocks, which would add depth to his character arc.
Smooth the transition between the apartment and the Investor's Center by including a moment of reflection for Jordan, perhaps showing him looking at the classifieds with a sense of desperation before he heads out, reinforcing his motivations.
Consider using more vivid and specific descriptions of the Investor's Center to enhance the chaotic atmosphere, such as the sounds, smells, and sights that would make the reader feel immersed in the environment.

Scene 6 - The Birth of a Partnership

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

29 INT. INVESTOR’S CENTER - (ANOTHER) DAY (FEB ‘88) 29

Jordan sits at his desk in mid-pitch, totally focused.

JORDAN
It’s a rock-solid company, sir,
it’s the next Microsoft...
Six thousand. Terrific.

As Jordan continues talking, wrapping up the sale...

JORDAN (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Though I knew I was selling
garbage, within twelve weeks I
was making a fortune.

And as he starts scrawling out a buy ticket...

JORDAN (V.O.)
And as a wise man once told me,
my only responsibility was to
put meat on the table.

CLOSE ON a 1988 Jaguar, parked outside a diner...
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 16.

30 INT. KACANDES DINER - BAYSIDE - DAY (JUN ‘88) 30

Wearing a suit, Jordan sits in a booth reading the Wall
Street Journal as a WAITRESS serves the food. DONNIE
AZOFF, preppy-looking, 25, with horn-rims and bright
white teeth approaches from the takeout counter.

DONNIE
That your Jag in the lot?

JORDAN
Yeah.

DONNIE
Nice ride. Donnie Azoff.

JORDAN
Jordan Belfort.

DONNIE
I’ve seen it around. We live in
the same building. Twelfth floor?
(Jordan nods)
What do you do, bro?

JORDAN
Stock broker.

DONNIE
Kids furniture, me and my brother-
in-law. Making any money?

JORDAN
Seventy grand last month.

DONNIE
Get the fuck out. You made
seventy grand in one month.

JORDAN
Seventy two actually.

Donnie studies him, isn’t sure if he’s full of shit.

DONNIE
Tell you what. You show me a pay
stub with $72,000 on it, I’m
quitting my job right now and
coming to work with you.

As Jordan retrieves his briefcase to find a paystub -- *

30A SCENE 30A OMITTED *30A

30B As Jordan hands Donnie his paystub and sure enough, it’s *30B
north of seventy-two k. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 17.

DONNIE (CONT’D) *
Holy shit.

Jordan watches as Donnie crosses to a pay phone and
dials.

JORDAN (V.O.)
And he did quit his job, which
I thought was a little weird.
I mean I had just met this
fucking guy.

A few beats, then into phone:

DONNIE
Yo Paulie, it’s Donnie... Yeah,
listen, I quit.

Jordan studies Donnie as he continues his conversation...

JORDAN (V.O.)
There were other things about him
too, like his phosphorescent white
teeth and the fact that he wore
horn rims with clear lenses to
look more Waspy. He also married
his first cousin --

31 SCENE 31 OMITTED 31

32 INT. BAR - DAY (JUN ‘88) * 32

Jordan sits in mid-conversation with Donnie over beers.

DONNIE
No problem, if we have a kid who’s
a retard, we’ll just leave it on
the steps of some institution.

And as they continue drinking...

JORDAN (V.O.)
He was also a closet drug fiend.
I’d known him less than a week
before he talked me into smoking
crack.

33 EXT. BACK OF BAR - DAY (JUN ‘88) * 33

Jordan and Donnie get high. Donnie holds a flame under a
crack pipe.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 18.

JORDAN (V.O.)
The weird thing was when he’d do
crack, his face would contort into
this bizarre, frozen mask like the
Phantom of the Opera.

Donnie does a hit of crack; his jaw twitches, then his
facial muscles contort, locking up like a stroke victim.
After a few beats, he hands the pipe to Jordan.

DONNIE
You now, take a hit!

Jordan takes a deep hit and holds it. A beat, then:

JORDAN
Omigod, I fuckin’ love you!!

JORDAN (V.O.)
I knew I had to make him my
partner.

34 INT. INVESTOR’S CENTER - DAY (SEP ‘88) 34

Jordan looks on as Donnie works the phone like a madman.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Which turned out to be a great
move - Donnie was a fast learner
who transitioned into the penny
stock business quickly.

35 EXT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO SHOP - DAY (SEP ‘88) 35

Jordan and Donnie pull up to a defunct auto body shop,
which has a “For Lease” sign in the window.

JORDAN (V.O.)
So within months we started our
own firm out of an abandoned auto
body shop.

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Biography"]

Summary In this scene, Jordan Belfort pitches a worthless stock to an investor, exuding confidence about his financial success. He later meets Donnie Azoff at Kacandes Diner, where Donnie, impressed by Jordan's pay stub showing his substantial earnings, impulsively quits his job. Their bond deepens over drinks and drugs, marking the beginning of their reckless partnership in the high-stakes world of finance.

Strengths

Compelling concept
Well-developed characters
Sharp dialogue

Weaknesses

Morally ambiguous characters may be off-putting to some viewers

Critique

The scene effectively captures the essence of Jordan's character as a charismatic and manipulative stockbroker. His confidence in selling worthless stocks is palpable, and the voiceover adds depth to his internal conflict, highlighting the moral ambiguity of his actions.
The transition from the Investor's Center to the diner is smooth, but the scene could benefit from more visual contrast between the chaotic environment of the brokerage and the more subdued diner setting. This would enhance the feeling of Jordan's dual life.
Donnie's introduction is engaging, but his character could be fleshed out further. While we get a glimpse of his personality through his dialogue, adding a brief visual cue or action that showcases his quirks would make him more memorable.
The dialogue flows well, but some lines could be tightened for greater impact. For instance, Donnie's reaction to Jordan's pay stub could be more exaggerated to emphasize his disbelief and excitement, which would enhance the comedic tone.
The voiceover provides insight into Jordan's thoughts, but it sometimes feels redundant. Instead of reiterating what is visually presented, consider using the voiceover to explore deeper themes or foreshadow future events, adding layers to the narrative.

Suggestions

Introduce a visual motif that contrasts the high-energy brokerage environment with the more relaxed diner setting, perhaps through lighting or camera angles, to emphasize the duality of Jordan's life.
Enhance Donnie's character by incorporating a unique action or quirk that reflects his personality, making him stand out more in the scene.
Tighten the dialogue by removing any unnecessary words or phrases, particularly in Donnie's reactions, to create a sharper, more impactful exchange.
Use the voiceover to delve into Jordan's psyche or hint at future consequences of his actions, rather than restating what is already shown on screen, to keep the audience engaged and intrigued.
Consider adding a moment of hesitation or doubt from Jordan after he hands over the pay stub, which could create tension and foreshadow the reckless decisions he will make in the future.

Scene 7 - Ambition and Doubt

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

36 INT. KACANDES DINER - DAY (OCT ‘88) 36

Jordan sits with CHESTER MING, ROBBIE FEINBERG, ALDEN
KUPFERBERG (”SEA OTTER”) and BRAD, muscular and bald,
with a Fu Manchu mustache.

JORDAN (V.O.)
In addition to Donnie, I also
recruited my friends Sea Otter, *
Chester and Robbie, who were at *
the time all middling pot dealers.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 19.

As a WAITRESS serves cheeseburgers:

JORDAN
--see everyone wants to get rich,
so you’re already half way there
by the time the call starts.

SEA OTTER
I sold weed once to this Amish
dude, had one of those beards with
no mustache?

ROBBIE FEINBERG
So?

SEA OTTER
He only wanted to make furniture.

CHESTER MING
What’s that got to do with
anything?

SEA OTTER
He just said everyone wants to
get rich.

ROBBIE FEINBERG
(to Jordan)
That’s true, you did.

SEA OTTER
Buddhists too, they don’t give a
shit about money either.

CHESTER MING
Man I could sell weed to anybody,
get a convent full of nuns fucking
wasted.

And as Brad looks at Jordan and shakes his head:

37 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO BODY SHOP - BULLPEN 37
(OCT ‘88)

We see the above guys working the phones.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Brad, the guy I really wanted,
took a pass, since he’d become the
Quaalude king of Bayside.

38 EXT. BRAD’S HOUSE - BACKYARD GYM - DAY (OCT ‘88) 38

Bare-chested, wearing kung fu pants, Brad sells ludes to
a couple of HIGH SCHOOL KIDS.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 20.

JORDAN (V.O.)
They were absolute morons, my
friends, but like I always said--

39 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO BODY SHOP - BULLPEN - DAY 39
(OCT ‘88)

Jordan emerges from his office into the garage area
(the bullpen), looking on as Donnie, Chester, Robbie, Sea
Otter and four other BROKERS (now including RUGRAT and
Toby) make sales calls from the cheap desks.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Give me them young, hungry and
stupid and in no time I’ll make
them rich.

40 EXT. MARINA - LONG ISLAND - SUNSET (MAY ‘89) 40

On lounge chairs at the edge of a dock, bottle of wine
nearby, Jordan sits with Teresa. He smiles as she opens
a jewelry case -- inside is a diamond tennis bracelet.

TERESA
Omigod. Jordan.

JORDAN
You like it?

TERESA
It’s beautiful.

Jordan helps her try it on. She smiles, but he detects a
wave of... something.

JORDAN
They’re small, I know, but the
stones are really high quality.

TERESA
No, no. I love it.

JORDAN
Then what?

They sit in silence. Finally:

TERESA
I don’t know, it’s just -- these
stocks, these crappy companies.

JORDAN
In five years the Corleone family
will be completely legitimate.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 21.

TERESA
Why can’t you be legitimate now?

JORDAN
It’s not illegal, Teresa,
technically. I mean they’re real
stocks, they’re just...

TERESA
Never gonna make anybody money.
(a few beats; then)
Wouldn’t you feel better selling
this junk to rich people, who can
afford to lose the money at least?

JORDAN
Rich people don’t buy penny
stocks.

TERESA
Why not?

And on Jordan’s look:

JORDAN (V.O.)
Because they’re too smart, that’s
why not.

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Comedy"]

Summary In this scene, Jordan recruits his friends Chester, Robbie, Sea Otter, and Brad, all former drug dealers, to join him in a new business venture. They share lighthearted banter about their past experiences, reflecting their carefree attitudes and lack of seriousness. Jordan expresses his ambition to make them wealthy, while the setting shifts from a diner to their new firm's bullpen. Later, he presents a diamond bracelet to Teresa, who questions the legitimacy of his business practices, highlighting the tension between ambition and morality. The scene ends with Teresa's doubts about Jordan's choices, leaving their relationship uncertain.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Character development
Foreshadowing

Weaknesses

Lack of external conflict
Limited emotional impact

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic and humorous nature of Jordan's recruitment process, showcasing the personalities of his friends. However, the dialogue can feel disjointed at times, with characters jumping from one topic to another without clear transitions, which may confuse the audience.
The use of voiceover is a strong narrative tool, but it sometimes detracts from the immediacy of the scene. The audience might benefit from more visual storytelling rather than relying heavily on Jordan's internal monologue to convey his thoughts and motivations.
While the comedic elements are present, the humor can come off as forced in certain exchanges, particularly with Sea Otter's comments. The jokes about drug dealing may not resonate with all viewers and could risk alienating the audience if not handled with care.
The contrast between the characters' lack of seriousness and Jordan's ambition is clear, but it could be emphasized further. The scene could benefit from more moments that highlight Jordan's determination and vision, making his recruitment of these 'absolute morons' feel more strategic rather than purely opportunistic.
The transition from the diner to the bullpen is abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative, allowing the audience to better understand the progression of Jordan's journey and the evolution of his team.

Suggestions

Consider tightening the dialogue to ensure each character's lines contribute to the overall narrative and character development. Aim for more cohesive exchanges that build on each other.
Incorporate more visual storytelling elements to complement the voiceover. Show Jordan's expressions and reactions to his friends' antics to convey his thoughts without relying solely on narration.
Evaluate the comedic timing and content of the jokes. Ensure that humor serves the story and character development, and consider using humor that aligns more closely with the overall tone of the film.
Add moments that showcase Jordan's ambition and strategic thinking, perhaps through his reactions to his friends' comments or by illustrating how he plans to leverage their skills in the brokerage world.
Create a more seamless transition between the diner and the bullpen by using a visual cue or a brief moment that connects the two settings, reinforcing the narrative flow and Jordan's journey.

Scene 8 - The Art of Manipulation

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 9

41 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO BODY SHOP - DAY (AUG ‘89) 41

CLOSE ON Jordan, brow furrowing as his wheels turn.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I mean what person of any
substance would trust this bunch
of jerk-offs? Like the Pinhead, *
Robbie Feinberg.

42 SCENES 42 - 46 OMITTED * 42

46A INSERT ID PHOTO - TOBY WELCH *46A

JORDAN (V.O.) *
Toby Welch. I mean, look at this *
fucking Cro-Magnon, I wouldn’t *
trust him to pick up a rock. *

(ALT) *

JORDAN (V.O.) *
Toby Welch. I mean, look at this *
fucking Cro-Magnon, he couldn’t *
even think without moving his *
lips. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 22.

46B INSERT ID PHOTO - ROBBIE FEINBERG 46B

JORDAN (V.O.)
Or the Sea Otter.

46C INSERT ID PHOTO - THE SEA OTTER 46C

JORDAN (V.O.)
Chester Ming even, the Depraved
Chinaman, with his giant panda
head.

46D INSERT ID PHOTO - CHESTER MING 46D

JORDAN (V.O.)
Or Nicky Koskoff, who I called
Rugrat because--

46E INSERT ID PHOTO - RUGRAT 46E

JORDAN (V.O.)
Well, you can probably figure that
out for yourself.

47 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO BODY SHOP - REAR - NIGHT 47
(MAR ‘90)

The camera PUSHES IN on Jordan as he stands before a
large dry erase board.

JORDAN (V.O.)
But what if they didn’t sound like
jerk-offs? What if I took this
bunch of nincompoops and molded
them in my own image? I
reinvented the company, gave it a
new image, a new name. Something
patrician, blue-blooded, something
that reeked of tradition and anti-
semitism.

And as his Brokers settle in to folding chairs--

JORDAN
Gentlemen, welcome to Stratton
Oakmont. The clients we’ve gone
after in the past -- they’re done.
We will now target exclusively the
wealthiest one percent of
Americans. The methods we’ve used
-- over. Loud, obnoxious sales
hype is worthless with these
people.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 23.
JORDAN (CONT'D)
In military terms it’s like carpet-
bombing -- noisy, menacing and
only marginally effective. As
Stratton brokers you will be laser-
guided smart-bombs aimed at high-
priority targets. You will
establish an initial relationship
with your clients selling only
blue chip stocks -- then and only
then will you attempt to sell the
pink sheets, where the real money
is. Now the key to every sale is
this:

Jordan writes the word “URGENCY” on the board.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
No one buys stock unless he thinks
it’s going up and going up now.
You must convince your client to
buy before the takeover happens,
before the lawsuit is settled,
before the patent is granted.
If he says I’ll think about it and
call you back, it’s over, you’re
dead! No one calls back! So you
have to create urgency --

48 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO SHOP BULLPEN - DAY 48

Another day. With Stratton Oakmont signage visible in
the b.g., Jordan is on speakerphone with a potential
CLIENT, the other Brokers listening in.

JORDAN
--and once Kodak settles the
lawsuit, institutions will be
permitted to buy their shares in
large blocks again. And when that
happens, which is any day now,
what do you think will happen to
the price of Kodak stock?

CLIENT (O.S.)
It’ll go up?

JORDAN
Exactly. Which is why you should
pick up 5000 shares today, a
$200,000 investment.

49 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO BODY SHOP - REAR - NIGHT 49

Jordan stands addressing his Brokers.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 24.

JORDAN
Then you lower your voice.

50 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO SHOP BULLPEN - DAY 50

Jordan pitches the client, his voice lowered.

JORDAN
Believe me, sir, you will not be
sorry.

51 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO BODY SHOP - REAR - NIGHT 51

Jordan stands before the Brokers.

JORDAN
Then you wait. Whoever speaks
first loses. At this point, where
are we in the sale? Chester?

CHESTER MING
About to close?

JORDAN
No, you sweet and sour douchebag!
We’re at the beginning of the
beginning! This is where the sale
starts. You as a salesman are
almost hoping he says no so you
can finally do your fucking job!

52 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO SHOP BULLPEN - DAY 52

Jordan sits at the phone, waiting for a response.

CLIENT (O.S.)
I don’t know, I don’t think so.

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Jordan critiques the incompetence of his colleagues at Stratton Oakmont while reviewing their ID photos. Transitioning to a night setting, he passionately outlines a new sales strategy to his brokers, emphasizing the need to target wealthy clients and create urgency in their pitches. Through assertive instructions and manipulative tactics, he aims to transform his untrustworthy team into effective salespeople. The scene captures Jordan's confidence and ambition as he awaits a response from a potential client, underscoring the tension of the sales process.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Intense atmosphere
Effective character development

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Focus on manipulation over genuine connection

Critique

The scene effectively captures Jordan's disdain for his colleagues, using humor and sarcasm to convey his superiority complex. However, the derogatory descriptions can come off as excessive and may alienate the audience from Jordan's character. Balancing this with moments that show his vulnerability or internal conflict could create a more nuanced portrayal.
The transition from Jordan's voiceover to the live action is smooth, but the voiceover could benefit from more emotional depth. Instead of solely focusing on his colleagues' incompetence, incorporating Jordan's own insecurities or fears about his leadership could add layers to his character.
The instructional tone of Jordan's speech to his brokers is engaging, but it risks feeling didactic. To maintain audience interest, consider interspersing more dynamic interactions among the brokers, showcasing their reactions and questions, which would create a more lively atmosphere.
The use of military metaphors (e.g., 'carpet-bombing' vs. 'laser-guided smart-bombs') is clever and fits the high-stakes environment of Wall Street. However, it might be beneficial to explore more varied metaphors or analogies that reflect Jordan's personality and the unique culture of Stratton Oakmont.
The scene's pacing is generally good, but it could be tightened by reducing some of the repetitive elements in Jordan's instructions. For instance, the emphasis on urgency is crucial, but reiterating it multiple times could be streamlined to maintain momentum.

Suggestions

Introduce a moment of self-reflection for Jordan, perhaps a fleeting thought about his own rise to power or the moral implications of his actions, to create a more complex character.
Incorporate reactions from the brokers during Jordan's speech to break up the monologue and provide a sense of camaraderie or tension among the team, enhancing the scene's dynamism.
Consider varying the tone of Jordan's voiceover to reflect different emotions, such as frustration or ambition, rather than maintaining a consistent sarcastic tone throughout.
Use visual storytelling to complement the dialogue; for example, showing the brokers' expressions or body language can convey their skepticism or enthusiasm without relying solely on words.
Experiment with the structure of the scene by interspersing flashbacks or quick cuts to past failures or successes of the brokers, which could provide context for Jordan's current strategy and enhance the stakes.

Scene 9 - The Art of Persuasion

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 9

53 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO BODY SHOP - REAR - NIGHT 53

Jordan stands before the Brokers.

JORDAN
He doesn’t know, he needs to
think, he’s gotta ask his wife!
The fact is it doesn’t matter what
the fuck he says! If he’s already
agreed that the stock’s going up,
then the only real objection he
has at this point is he doesn’t
trust you! And he shouldn’t trust
you, you’re a fucking salesman!
So what do you say?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 25.

54 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO SHOP BULLPEN - DAY 54

Donnie talks on the phone to a Client.

DONNIE
Let me ask you this, sir -- had I
been your broker for the past
three to four years and made you
money on a consistent basis, you
probably wouldn’t say you need to
think about it, you’d probably say
pick me up three or four thousand
shares, am I right?

CLIENT #2 (O.S.)
Maybe.

55 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO SHOP BULLPEN - DAY 55
(APR ‘90)

The place is crowded; now 20 Brokers make up the sales
force. Sea Otter pitches a client.

SEA OTTER
Wait a second. You mean to tell
me if I put you in Union Carbide
at 7 and took you out at 32--

56 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO SHOP BULLPEN - DAY 56
(MAY ‘90)

Even more crowded, with 30 Brokers.

ROBBIE FEINBERG
If I put you in Texas Instruments
at 11 and took you out at 47--

57 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT I - AUTO SHOP BULLPEN - DAY 57
(JUN ‘90)

More Brokers still - now there’s 45.

CHESTER MING
--Walmart at 16 and took you out
at 95, you wouldn’t say Chester
pick me up 10,000 shares? C’mon.

CLIENT #3 (O.S.)
Well yeah, in that case I would.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 26.

58 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT II - BULLPEN - DAY (NOV ‘90) 58

New offices now, a real brokerage firm. The bullpen is
large, with 75 Brokers at polished maple desks, sitting
before computers talking into headsets.

DONNIE
So the problem is that I don’t
have the luxury of a track record.
Sir, let me reintroduce myself to
you. My name is Donnie Azoff--

58A CUT TO: 58A

RUGRAT
--Nicky Koskoff-- *

58B CUT TO: 58B

CHESTER MING
Chester Ming--

58C CUT TO: 58C

PETER DEBLASIO
Peter DeBlasio from Stratton
Oakmont in New York City--

58D CUT TO: 58D

TOBY WELCH
--and I plan on being the top
broker in my firm this year.

58E CUT TO: 58E

SEA OTTER
So what about this? We start
small with 500 shares, a cash
outlay of $20,000.

58F CUT TO: 58F

KALIL *
If the stock goes up 10%, will
that make you a rich man? Of
course not.

58G CUT TO: 58G

KIMMIE BELZER
If if goes down 10%, will it make
you a poor man? No..

58H CUT TO: 58H
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 27.

CHESTER MING
What this trade will do is serve
as a benchmark for future
business.

58J CUT TO: 58J

PETER DEBLASIO
The downside is minimal and the
upside is a long-term relationship
with a broker on Wall Street who
will consistently make you money.

58K CUT TO: 58K

JORDAN
Your only regret will be that I
didn’t call you six months ago.

58L CUT TO: 58L

CLIENT #1 (O.S.)
(to Robbie Feinberg)
All right.

58M CUT TO: 58M

CLIENT #2 (O.S.)
(to Sea Otter)
Give me 300 shares.

58N CUT TO: 58N

CLIENT #3 (O.S.)
(to Peter DeBlasio)
1200 shares.

58P CUT TO: 58P

CLIENT #4 (O.S.)
(to Jordan)
I’ll take 5000 shares.

Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this high-energy scene, Jordan Belfort rallies his brokers at Stratton Oakmont, stressing the necessity of confidence in selling stocks to hesitant clients. As the setting shifts from a small auto body shop to a thriving brokerage firm, various brokers, including Donnie Azoff, Sea Otter, and Robbie Feinberg, employ aggressive sales tactics to convince clients to invest, leveraging past successes and minimizing perceived risks. The atmosphere is charged with urgency as the brokers successfully close multiple deals, showcasing their persuasive skills and the firm's rapid growth.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Tension-filled interactions
Realistic portrayal of brokerage environment

Weaknesses

Lack of emotional depth
Limited character development

Critique

The scene effectively captures the escalating energy and chaos of the brokerage environment, showcasing Jordan's leadership and the growing success of Stratton Oakmont. However, the transition between the different time frames (April, May, June, and November) could be clearer to avoid confusion for the audience. Consider using visual cues or a more explicit narrative device to indicate the passage of time.
Jordan's dialogue is assertive and manipulative, which aligns with his character's persona. However, the repetition of similar phrases across different brokers could be streamlined to enhance the pacing. Each broker's pitch should feel distinct to showcase their individual styles and personalities, rather than blending into a single voice.
The use of voiceover could be more pronounced to provide insight into Jordan's thoughts and motivations during this pivotal moment. This would deepen the audience's understanding of his character and the stakes involved in the sales process.
While the scene highlights the aggressive sales tactics employed by the brokers, it could benefit from a moment of reflection or doubt from one of the characters, particularly as they pitch potentially risky stocks. This would add depth and complexity to the characters, making them more relatable and human.
The scene's climax, where clients begin to agree to purchases, feels somewhat abrupt. Building tension leading up to this moment could enhance the payoff, perhaps by showing a particularly challenging client or a moment of doubt that is overcome.

Suggestions

Introduce clearer visual markers or on-screen text to indicate the time shifts between April, May, June, and November, helping the audience follow the progression of events.
Differentiate each broker's pitch by giving them unique phrases or styles, ensuring that their individual personalities shine through in their dialogue.
Incorporate Jordan's internal monologue or voiceover to provide deeper insight into his mindset and the pressure he feels as the stakes rise.
Consider adding a moment of hesitation or moral conflict for one of the brokers during their pitches, which could create a more nuanced portrayal of the characters.
Build more tension before the clients agree to purchases by introducing a particularly difficult client or a moment of crisis that the brokers must navigate, enhancing the emotional payoff of the scene.

Scene 10 - Celebration of Excess

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

59 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT II - BULLPEN - DAY (APR ‘91) 59

4PM the place goes nuts as Jordan emerges from his office *
holding a spread sheet. He addresses the crowd of 100
BROKERS, which now includes a dozen WOMEN.

JORDAN
Everybody have a good week?

Applause; war whoops.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 28.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
I’d like to read you something.
(reads spread sheet)
Month end, March 1991! $28.7
million in gross commissions - all *
in Stratton issues. Not bad for *
penny stocks, huh boys? Not bad *
for dumpin’ penny stocks. *

The place goes WILD with applause.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
And to celebrate with a weekly act
of debauchery, I have offered our
lovely sales assistant Danielle
Harrison ten thousand dollars to *
have her head shaved!

Jordan motions to DANIELLE HARRISON, 19, pretty, sitting *
in a chair nearby. Behind her, Rugrat uses clippers to
shave her thick brown mane. The place goes nuts.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
FYI, Danielle tells me she’s using
the money for breast implants! Is
this a great company or what?!!

More wild applause as Jordan signals across the bullpen
to Donnie. We hear the opening strains of “Stars &
Stripes Forever” as he opens the door to a

COLLEGE MARCHING BAND

dressed in underwear and hats. The music continues as
somersaulting GYMNASTS and BATON-TWIRLERS bring up the
rear. As they march through the bullpen to cheers--

FROM THE KITCHEN -- two dozen TUXEDO-CLAD WAITERS emerge
carrying trays of champagne and hors d’oeuvres. The
music continues as two dozen STRIPPERS bolt in, gyrating
among the BROKERS. As Jordan surveys the insanity:

JORDAN (V.O.)
Word spread throughout Wall
Street -- I was becoming a legend.
Forbes Magazine even called to do
a profile on me...

60 SCENES 60 - 67 OMITTED 60
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 29.

68 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT II - JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY 68
(SEP ‘91)

Jordan finishes up an interview with a FEMALE FORBES
REPORTER - ALIYAH FARRAN. They shake hands, then he
smiles for the camera - CLICK!

JORDAN (V.O.)
A total fucking hatchet job.

69 INT. JORDAN’S MANHATTAN APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - MORNING 69
(OCT ‘91)

A gorgeous place; city views. As Teresa sits nearby, a
distraught Jordan paces, holding the copy of Forbes.

JORDAN
That conniving little twat!
(reading)
“The Wolf of Wall Street”.

TERESA
(on the bright side)
Your hair looks good.

JORDAN
“Jordan Belfort, a twisted version
of Robin Hood who takes from the
rich and gives to himself and his
merry band of brokers”.

TERESA
There’s no such thing as bad
publicity, sweetie.

70 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT II - BULLPEN - LATER THAT DAY 70

Bustling with activity. Jordan enters, crosses toward
his office. Off to the side of the bullpen, he notices
three dozen YOUNG MEN in business suits. He approaches
his assistant JANET, 20s, dressed all in black.

JORDAN
The hell’s all this?

JANET
The Forbes article. They’re
applying for jobs.

They spot Jordan, start clamoring, waving their resumes.

JOB APPLICANTS
Mr. Belfort! Over here! Sir!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 30.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Forbes had made me a superstar.
Every day dozens of money-crazed
kids beat a path to my door with
resumes they hadn’t even bothered
to spellcheck.

Jordan crosses through the packed bullpen, where 150
BROKERS, no older than 22, are crammed elbow to elbow
talking into phones. Some have pets, which they tend to
while they work -- iguanas, snakes, turtles, even a
chimp. Others are getting shoulder rubs by Masseuses
or being fitted for suits by a TAILOR. Over the above:

JORDAN (V.O.)
If we hired ‘em, they dropped out
of college overnight and blew
whatever allowance they had on a
new suit from our in-house tailor.
The median age of our brokerage
couldn’t get served in the bar
down the street.

71 INT. FBI BREAK ROOM - DAY (OCT ‘91) 71

PATRICK DENHAM sits sipping coffee as he reads Forbes.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Not this guy though -- what the
fuck is he even doing here? He
read the Forbes article, too, but
he already had a job.

72 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - DAY (MAR ‘92) 72

CLOSE ON two BROKERS wrestling while others cheer them
on. PULL BACK to reveal the place from the opening. 300
young Brokers and their hot ASSISTANTS work the phones.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Within months, we doubled in size,
moved to even bigger offices.

Two other Brokers pump themselves up, chest-bumping and
screaming like football players.

JORDAN (V.O.)
It was a madhouse, a greed-fest,
with equal parts cocaine,
testosterone and body fluids.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 31.

73 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - MEN’S ROOM - DAY (MAR ‘92) 73

In a stall, two Brokers snort coke, while another Broker
fucks a Sales Assistant perched on the sink.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I had to declare the office a fuck-
free zone between the hours of 9
and 7, but even that didn’t help.

Taped to the mirror we see a MEMO -- inside a red circle,
two anatomically correct stick figures fuck doggy-style,
a red line slashing through them.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Actually the madness started on
our very first day, when one of
our brokers, Ben Jenner,
christened the elevator by
getting a blowjob from a sales
assistant.

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a chaotic celebration at Stratton Oakmont II, Jordan Belfort announces the firm's impressive $28.7 million in gross commissions for March 1991, igniting wild applause from the brokers. He humorously offers sales assistant Danielle $10,000 to shave her head, which she accepts for breast implants. The festivities escalate with the arrival of a college marching band, gymnasts, and strippers, creating a surreal party atmosphere. As Jordan revels in his growing legend on Wall Street, the scene highlights the absurdity and hedonism of the financial culture.

Strengths

Vivid and engaging portrayal of characters and setting
Sharp and witty dialogue
Highly entertaining and shocking moments

Weaknesses

Excessive focus on debauchery may be off-putting to some viewers

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic and celebratory atmosphere of Stratton Oakmont, showcasing Jordan's charisma and the wild culture of the brokerage firm. However, the reliance on spectacle, such as the marching band and strippers, may overshadow the character development and thematic depth. While it emphasizes Jordan's rise to fame, it risks reducing the narrative to mere excess without exploring the consequences of such behavior.
Jordan's dialogue is energetic and engaging, but it could benefit from more nuanced interactions with the brokers. The scene primarily focuses on his monologue, which, while entertaining, doesn't allow for much character interplay. This could make the brokers feel more like a backdrop rather than active participants in the celebration.
The introduction of Danielle and her decision to shave her head for breast implants is a provocative moment that reflects the absurdity of the culture at Stratton Oakmont. However, it may come off as exploitative without further context or commentary on the implications of such actions. This could be an opportunity to delve deeper into the motivations and feelings of the characters involved.
The voiceover at the end of the scene serves to highlight Jordan's growing legend status, but it feels somewhat detached from the action. Integrating his reflections more organically into the scene could enhance the emotional impact and provide a clearer connection between his internal thoughts and the external chaos.

Suggestions

Consider adding more dialogue from the brokers to create a sense of camaraderie and collective excitement. This would help to flesh out the ensemble and make the celebration feel more communal rather than solely focused on Jordan.
Explore the implications of Danielle's decision to shave her head more deeply. Perhaps include a brief moment where she expresses her thoughts or feelings about the act, which could add depth to her character and highlight the absurdity of the situation.
Incorporate moments of reflection from Jordan that connect his current success to the potential moral and ethical implications of his actions. This could create a more complex character arc and foreshadow the consequences of his lifestyle.
Consider using the voiceover to comment on the celebration in real-time rather than as a retrospective reflection. This could create a more immersive experience for the audience and enhance the tension between the celebration and the underlying issues of greed and excess.

Scene 11 - Chaos and Consequences at Stratton Oakmont

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

74 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - LOBBY - DAY (JAN ‘92) 74

Two dozen Brokers cheer, watching through the rising
glass elevator as BEN JENNER, 25, gets a blowjob from a
brunette SALES ASSISTANT. *

JORDAN (V.O.)
Her name was Pam and to her
credit, she did have an amazing
technique, with this wild twist
and jerk motion.

75 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY 75
(FEB ‘92)

As Pam blows Jordan, Donnie fucks her from behind.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Eventually Ben married her, which
was pretty amazing considering she
blew every guy in the office.

75A INSERT POLAROID - (JUN ‘92) 75A

A wedding photo of Ben and Pam.

JORDAN (V.O.)
He got depressed and killed
himself three years later.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 32.

75B INSERT POLAROID - (JUN ‘95) 75B

A crime scene photo; Ben in his underwear, dead on a
bathroom floor, a gun near his head, which oozes blood.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Anyway, in an attempt to maintain
order, I hired my dad Max as
defacto CFO and head of the
Gestapo.

75C INT. JORDAN’S PARENTS’ APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 75C

MAX BELFORT sits smoking, watching a rerun of “The
Equalizer” on TV. His wife, LEAH, does needlepoint.

JORDAN (V.O.)
We called him Mad Max because of
his hair-trigger temper, which
could be set off by something as
innocuous as a ringing telephone.

The phone RINGS.

MAX
Who the hell has the goddamn gall
to call this house on a Tuesday
evening! Goddammit!

JORDAN (V.O.)
But then the weirdest thing would
happen. Though he’d never been
near England, he’d pick up the
phone and affect an ever-so-slight
British accent.

Greatly agitated, Max stomps toward the phone.

JORDAN (V.O.)
This was his other persona -- the
super polite, ever-gracious Sir
Max.

MAX
(into phone)
Hello?... Yes, Gene, right-eo.
Good-good then... Cheerio.

JORDAN (V.O.)
It was absolutely bizarre. He’d
hang up...

MAX
(hangs up phone)
Goddamn fucking halfwit!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 33.

JORDAN (V.O.)
And become Mad Max all over again.

Max curses a blue streak as he stomps back to his chair.

76 SCENE 76 OMITTED 76

Genres: ["Drama","Dark Comedy"]

Summary In a darkly comedic scene at Stratton Oakmont, brokers cheer as Ben Jenner receives a blowjob from sales assistant Pam in the elevator. The focus shifts to Jordan's office, where Pam engages with both Jordan and Donnie, highlighting her promiscuity. Jordan reflects on Ben's tragic fate, marrying Pam only to later commit suicide. The scene also introduces Max Belfort, Jordan's father, whose volatile temper and peculiar phone mannerisms add a layer of absurdity amidst the chaos, culminating in a moment of comic relief before he returns to anger.

Strengths

Dark humor
Cynical tone
Sharp dialogue
Exploration of consequences

Weaknesses

Lack of emotional depth
Limited character development

Critique

The scene relies heavily on shock value and crude humor, which may alienate some viewers. While the depiction of the chaotic and morally questionable environment of Stratton Oakmont is consistent with the overall tone of the screenplay, the explicit nature of the content could detract from the narrative's depth and character development.
Jordan's voiceover provides a detached commentary on the events, which can create a sense of distance between the audience and the characters. This narrative style may work in some contexts, but here it risks trivializing serious issues such as mental health and the consequences of reckless behavior.
The transition from the explicit scene in the elevator to the introduction of Max Belfort feels abrupt. While it serves to juxtapose the chaotic work environment with Jordan's family life, the tonal shift could be smoother to maintain narrative cohesion.
The character of Max Belfort is introduced with a humorous quirk (his British accent), but this could be developed further to provide more insight into his personality and relationship with Jordan. As it stands, he feels more like a caricature than a fully realized character.
The use of Polaroid inserts to depict Ben's wedding and subsequent death is visually striking but may come off as sensationalist. This approach could undermine the gravity of the subject matter, particularly suicide, which should be handled with care and sensitivity.

Suggestions

Consider toning down the explicit content in the elevator scene to focus more on the implications of such behavior in a corporate environment. This could enhance the narrative's critique of Wall Street culture without relying solely on shock value.
Explore Jordan's emotional response to the events more deeply. Instead of a detached voiceover, consider incorporating moments of reflection that reveal his internal conflict regarding the lifestyle he promotes.
Smooth the transition between the elevator scene and the introduction of Max by adding a brief moment of reflection from Jordan that connects the two environments, perhaps highlighting the contrast between his chaotic work life and his family dynamics.
Develop Max's character further by providing more context about his relationship with Jordan. This could involve showing moments of tenderness or conflict that reveal their dynamic beyond just humor.
Reassess the use of Polaroid inserts. Instead of sensationalizing Ben's death, consider a more subtle approach that conveys the tragedy of his situation without reducing it to a mere visual gimmick.

Scene 12 - Dwarfs and Debt

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

77 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY 77
(MAR ‘92)

Holding a HEADSHOT of the Dwarf from the opening, Jordan
sits talking with Donnie, Robbie and Rugrat.

JORDAN
What if he gets hurt?

ROBBIE *
He’ll be wearing a helmet. Plus
they’ve got, like, superhuman
strength anyway.

DONNIE *
I did hear you're not supposed to *
make direct eye contact. If you *
look at them too long in their *
eyes they get freaked out - their *
wires cross. *

JORDAN *
I think there’s a limit to how far *
we can go... I mean we can throw *
shit at him and - *

DONNIE *
They have a lot of feelings. *

JORDAN *
There’s a specific thing that *
they’ll do - You can throw him at *
a dart board but if you want him *
to show his cock or - *

ROBBIE *
Yes, that’s what this guy does. *

RUGRAT *
That’s his gift. *

ROBBIE *
Can we also bowl with him? *

RUGRAT *
His brother is actually the *
bowler. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 34.

ROBBIE *
They strap a skateboard to him and *
throw him down an alley. *

RUGRAT *
They’re ornery, too, the little
pricks. You gotta be careful.

JORDAN
Get some tranq darts.

DONNIE
A little straitjacket. *

JORDAN *
What’s the liability on something *
like this?

RUGRAT *
That's a whole different thing. I *
can get on the phone with some *
people. I can talk to the *
insurance company and tell them *
exactly what we're going to do. *
But I think we go back to the same *
plan - loophole - if we don't *
really consider them people I *
think we are in the clear. *

DONNIE *
I think we should keep one in the *
office because I think they’re *
good luck. *

JORDAN *
Treat it like the fuckin' thing it *
is. He's coming in. We're paying *
him for something. Treat him with *
respect. And you just shake his *
hand like you don't even think *
anything's wrong. *

DONNIE *
You just look like something else *
is going on. *

RUGRAT *
You don’t look at his eyes. *

DONNIE *
Say “thank you for being here”. *

ROBBIE *
You don’t turn your back on him. *
It’s a sign of disrespect. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 35.

DONNIE *
If you want a cracker or something *
- I’m gonna have some treats in my *
pocket. I want to be in a strip *
club with you guys. Literally pull *
out a brief case and have a little *
fuckin' guy pop out of there. You *
know how much fuckin' pussy you *
get? *

JORDAN *
The point is get it out. *

DONNIE *
Get the jokes out now. Get the *
fuckin’ jokes out now. *

JORDAN *
You’re gonna fuck it up. Purge all *
this shit right now. *

DONNIE *
That’s what I’m saying - *

JORDAN *
When he comes in the room, I want *
him to feel like a human being - *

DONNIE *
Business. Business. It’s fuckin’ *
business, bro. *

JORDAN *
I want him to feel just like a *
normal human being. Cause you know *
- like one of us. One of us. *

DONNIE *
Like he’s an actual human being. *
One of us. *

JORDAN *
Gobble, gobble we accept you, one *
of us! One of us! *

ALL *
One of us. *

Janet pokes her head in. *

JANET
Your dad’s coming. With the
American Express bill.

JORDAN
Can you stop him?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 36.

JANET
Fuck you, you stop him.

The guys straighten up and head to desk, settle in. Max *
blows in past her, waving a 3-inch-thick bill:

MAX
$430,000 dollars in one month!!
Four-hundred-and-thirty-thousand
dollars in one month!!

JORDAN
Hello, Father. *
(Max’s expression
doesn’t budge)
They’re business expenses. Just *
relax. *

The guys titter at “business expenses.”

MAX
If you bastards don't wipe those
smug fucking looks off your faces,
I swear to God I'm gonna wipe ‘em
off for you!
(back to Jordan)
Are you insane?

ROBBIE *
Actually, Max, my portion of the
bill is hardly anything, so I’m on
the same page as you --

MAX
Shut the fuck up, Feinberg, you
only have a portion because of my
son, you worthless twerp!

DONNIE
(chuckles)
Twerp.

MAX
You zip it, too, Azoff, those
boiling teeth of yours are hurting
my fucking eyes!
(turning to Jordan)
My own son! From my very loins!
What do you think this is? *

JORDAN
Will you calm down --

MAX
You don't think there's any end in
sight, do you? It's all one giant
party to you schmendricks!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 37.
MAX (CONT'D)
(holds up AMEX bill)
$26,000 for one dinner!!

JORDAN
Donnie ordered sides.

DONNIE
Yeah, that was... Sorry.

MAX
(glowering)
What is EJ Entertainment? What is
EJ Entertainment?!

JORDAN
(restraining a grin)
You tell me, Dad.

MAX
It’s a goddamn prostitution ring
is what it is!!

Jordan feigns shock, turns to Donnie: did you know it was
a prostitution ring?!

DONNIE
Doesn’t the IRS allow for T&A?

MAX
It’s T&E and stop fucking with me!
What kind of hookers take credit
cards, anyway?!

Jordan takes the bill, starts flipping through it.

JORDAN (V.O.)
In Stratton parlance, there were
three kinds of hookers. There
were blue chips, the top of the
line. Model material. They were
priced between $300 and $500 and
made you wear a condom unless you
gave them a hefty tip, which I
always did.

77A A “BLUE CHIP” HOOKER FLOATS THROUGH, SURROUNDED BY *77A
STRATTON BROKERS. *

JORDAN (V.O.)
Then came NASDAQs, who were
pretty, but not great, usually
in the two to three hundred
dollar range.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 38.

77B A “NASDAQ” HOOKER DANCES THROUGH BULLPEN. STRATTON *77B
BROKERS WATCH. *

JORDAN (V.O.)
Finally there were pink sheets,
skanks, the bottom of the barrel.

77C A “PINK SHEET” HOOKER, COVERED IN TATTOOS, IS ON ALL *77C
FOURS AS SEA OTTER RIDES HER LIKE A PONY. *

JORDAN (V.O.)
They usually cost a hundred or
less, and if you didn't wear a
condom, you'd get a penicillin
shot the next day and pray your
dick didn't fall off.

77D THE ABOVE-MENTIONED “PINK SHEET” HOOKER SITS ON A STOOL, *77D
AS SEA OTTER FUCKS HER. *

JORDAN (V.O.)
Not that we didn’t fuck them, too.
Believe me, we did.

Behind him, the other guys wait their turns. *

77E BACK TO SCENE 77E

Max continues to steam so Jordan ushers Robbie, Rugrat
and Donnie out the door.

JORDAN
Give us a minute, will you, guys?

He closes the door, then stretches a bit, exaggeratedly,
letting out a little moan.

MAX
What’s the matter?

JORDAN
Nothing, just... My back’s been
killing me. Pain shooting down my
leg. Not to worry, it’ll pass.

MAX
What do the doctors say?

JORDAN
Doctors, what do they know? I’m on
like twenty different medications.
(re: the Amex bill)
Look, I know it's hard for you to
make sense of these expenses, but
there's a method here, okay? *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 39.

Max waits to hear it; Jordan gestures to the bullpen *

MAX
And you have to lead by example,
is that it?
(Jordan nods)
I’m tellin’ ya, kid, one of these
days... one of these days the
chickens are gonna come home to *
roost.

JORDAN *
In order to keep these guys *
working, I gotta keep ‘em *
spending. I need to keep them *
chasing the dream. You flash some *
cash, they do the same. It keeps *
them motivated. *

MAX *
Pissing away money? That’s what *
motivates you kids? *

JORDAN *
I could afford to pay them more, *
but then they wouldn't need me as *
much. And as long as they need me *
they'll always fear me. I know it *
sounds crazy. *

MAX *
Crazy? This... is obscene. *

He turns and exits. Jordan watches him go, thinking.

JORDAN (V.O.)
It was obscene -- in the normal
world. But who wanted to live
there?

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In Jordan's office at Stratton Oakmont, he and his colleagues joke about using a dwarf for entertainment while discussing liability issues, with Jordan insisting on treating him respectfully. The mood shifts when Jordan's father, Max, confronts him about a staggering American Express bill, leading to a heated argument about Jordan's extravagant spending and reckless lifestyle. The scene blends dark humor with tension, highlighting the absurdity of their discussions against the backdrop of serious financial concerns, ultimately ending with Max storming out in frustration.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Character dynamics
Humorous tone

Weaknesses

Excessive focus on extravagance may overshadow other plot elements

Critique

The scene effectively captures the absurdity and moral depravity of Jordan and his colleagues, showcasing their lack of respect for others, particularly the dwarf. However, the humor derived from their discussions can come off as insensitive and may alienate some viewers. The dialogue is sharp and reflects the characters' personalities, but it risks trivializing serious issues surrounding exploitation and objectification.
Jordan's character is portrayed as someone who wants to maintain a facade of respect while simultaneously engaging in dehumanizing behavior. This duality is interesting but could be explored further to deepen the character's complexity. The scene could benefit from more internal conflict for Jordan, as he navigates his desire for respect versus his willingness to exploit others for entertainment.
The pacing of the scene feels uneven at times. The rapid-fire dialogue works well for comedic effect, but it can also make it difficult for the audience to fully absorb the implications of their conversation. A few pauses or moments of reflection could enhance the impact of the dialogue and allow the audience to process the absurdity of the situation.
The introduction of Max Belfort adds a layer of familial conflict, but the transition from the dwarf discussion to Max's entrance feels abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the scene's flow and build tension between Jordan and his father. Additionally, Max's character could be fleshed out further to provide more context for his outrage, making his confrontation with Jordan more impactful.
The voiceover from Jordan provides insight into his mindset, but it could be more focused. The commentary on the types of hookers feels disconnected from the main conflict of the scene. Streamlining the voiceover to tie it more closely to the current events would enhance coherence and thematic resonance.

Suggestions

Consider adding a moment of hesitation or guilt for Jordan when discussing the dwarf, which could create a more nuanced portrayal of his character and highlight the internal conflict between his desire for respect and his exploitative tendencies.
Introduce a character who challenges the group's views on the dwarf, providing a contrasting perspective that could lead to a more meaningful discussion about respect and exploitation.
Incorporate pauses or reactions from the characters during their dialogue to allow the audience to digest the absurdity of their conversation and the implications of their actions.
Create a more gradual transition between the dwarf discussion and Max's entrance, perhaps by having Jordan reflect on the absurdity of their plans before being interrupted by his father, which would heighten the tension and conflict.
Refine the voiceover to focus more on Jordan's feelings about the dwarf and the implications of their plans, rather than diverting into a commentary on hookers, which may detract from the main narrative.

Scene 13 - Rallying the Brokers

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 7
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 8

78 EXT. BEACH HOUSE - SOUTH HAMPTON - DAY (JUN ‘92) 78

Massive, with an Olympic-size pool overlooking the beach.
Dozens of luxury cars parked outside. On a balcony,
Jordan is mid-speech, in a bathing suit, addressing the
Strattonites below, Teresa at his side.

JORDAN (O.C.)
-- so enjoy yourselves, you all
deserve a celebration. ‘Cept for
Kimmie, she’s lazy and she steals. *
(off laughter, Kimmie *
flips him the bird;
he blows her a kiss)
But, everybody, keep this in mind.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 40.
JORDAN (O.C.) (CONT'D)
As my friend Donnie Azoff says,
“If you wanna party with the boys,
you gotta wake up with the men.”
Monday morning I want you all
looking razor-sharp. Cuz
Stratton’s got a few things on the
horizon, things that’re gonna take
it right up into the fucking
stratosphere!

The Crowd goes nuts. One Broker lets loose a wolf-howl,
and the crowd toasts Jordan, chanting his name.

CROWD
Jor-dan! Jor-dan! Jor-dan!

As Jordan looks down smiling like a benevolent dictator --

JORDAN (PRE-LAP)
Fuck Merrill Lynch, this way we
become the underwriters.

ROBBIE (PRE-LAP) *
Like an investment bank.

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In June 1992, at a luxurious beach house in South Hampton, Jordan delivers an energetic speech from a balcony, humorously calling out his colleague Kimmie for her laziness, which amuses the crowd. He emphasizes the importance of being sharp for upcoming business ventures, igniting excitement among the brokers who enthusiastically chant his name in celebration. The scene captures the playful tension between leisure and work, showcasing Jordan's charismatic leadership and the camaraderie among his team.

Strengths

Charismatic dialogue
Captivating character interactions
Engaging setting

Weaknesses

Lack of deep emotional impact
Minimal character development

Critique

The scene effectively captures the hedonistic and chaotic atmosphere of Jordan's world, showcasing his charisma and the loyalty of his brokers. However, the humor derived from Kimmie's laziness and the playful banter could risk trivializing the serious consequences of their actions, which might detract from the overall narrative arc.
Jordan's speech is energetic and engaging, but it lacks depth in terms of character development. While it highlights his leadership style, it doesn't reveal much about his internal conflicts or the moral implications of his lifestyle, which could enhance the audience's connection to his character.
The use of the phrase 'benevolent dictator' in the description of Jordan's demeanor is apt, but it could be further emphasized through visual cues or actions that illustrate his control over the crowd. This would reinforce the theme of power dynamics within the brokerage firm.
The transition from the celebratory atmosphere to the serious undertones of their business dealings could be more pronounced. The line about becoming underwriters hints at future consequences, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the celebratory tone of the speech. A stronger bridge between these elements could enhance the scene's impact.
The crowd's reaction is enthusiastic, but it could benefit from more varied responses to Jordan's speech. Including a few skeptical or concerned faces in the crowd could add layers to the scene, highlighting the tension between the brokers' loyalty to Jordan and the potential consequences of their reckless behavior.

Suggestions

Consider adding a moment of introspection for Jordan during the speech, where he briefly reflects on the cost of their lifestyle or the risks involved, which would add depth to his character and the scene.
Incorporate more physical actions from the crowd that reflect their excitement and loyalty, such as cheers, high-fives, or even a few brokers expressing doubt or concern, to create a more dynamic atmosphere.
Enhance the visual elements of the scene by describing the opulence of the beach house and the luxury cars in more detail, which would further emphasize the excesses of Jordan's lifestyle.
Introduce a moment where Kimmie or another broker challenges Jordan's authority or questions his statements, even if it's in a joking manner. This could create a more balanced dynamic and foreshadow potential conflicts within the group.
Consider ending the scene with a more poignant line or action that hints at the impending consequences of their lifestyle, perhaps through a visual cue or a brief moment of silence before the crowd erupts again, creating a contrast between celebration and the underlying tension.

Scene 14 - Desire Amidst Chaos

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 7
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 9

79 INT. BEACH HOUSE - SOUTH HAMPTON - (LATER THAT) DAY 79

GORGEOUS PEOPLE dance/drink/snort coke. Upstairs, Jordan
plays pool with Sea Otter, Donnie, Robbie, Toby and
Rugrat, assigning ludes with every pocketed ball.

JORDAN
Exactly. We do our own IPO’s and
we will print money.

SEA OTTER
Eat like a bird, shit like an
elephant, baby!

JORDAN
They can take their Harvard asses
under our desks and suck our
cocks.
(to Rugrat)
How soon can you get the paperwork
filed?

RUGRAT
(super-stoned)
Can’t we talk about this Monday?

JORDAN
It’s a simple fucking question.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 41.

RUGRAT
Except I’m looking at three of you
right now.

ROBBIE *
We’ve got Arncliffe National,
they’re looking to go public,
we’ve got --

DONNIE
(very luded)
Oh, oh, Steve... Steve...

JORDAN
What?

DONNIE
...Steve... M-m-madden...

Donnie gesticulates wildly. The guys crack up. WE PUSH
IN ON Donnie, practically drooling, as Jordan gives us a
quick tutorial on ludes...

79A QUAALUDE TUTORIAL *79A

CUT TO: Extreme close up of guys doing drugs. *

JORDAN (V.O.)
The quaalude was first synthesized
in 1951 by an Indian doctor --
that’s dot Indian, not feathers --
as a sedative, and was prescribed
to stressed housewives with sleep
disorders. Pretty soon someone
figured out that if you resisted
the urge to sleep for fifteen
minutes, you got a pretty kick-ass
high from it. Didn’t take long
for people to start abusing ludes,
‘course, and in 1982 the U.S.
Government Schedule One’d them,
along with the rest of the world.
Which meant there was only a
finite amount of these things
left. No shit, you can’t even
find ‘em anymore today. You
people’re all shit outta luck.

79B BACK TO SCENE *79B

JORDAN
(to Donnie)
What’re you saying, buddy?
(to the others)
Shhhh... listen to him...
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 42.

DONNIE
Ssshhhhoes... shhhoooess...

Jordan suspects Donnie may actually be onto something.
But just then...

SEA OTTER
Holy fuck.

Jordan peers over the balcony where Sea Otter’s looking.

NAOMI LAPAGLIA. 22, the hottest blonde ever, has entered
the party with her date BLAIR. She smiles, full lips
parting over perfect white teeth, a ridiculously short
dress barely covering her long tan legs and full breasts.

RUGRAT
My nutsack’s about to explode.

ROBBIE *
Someone’s gotta take that down.

There’s no debate who that someone should be. Eyes
locked on Naomi, Jordan makes his way downstairs.

WITH NAOMI taking in the party, her eyes flitting to
things: art, chandeliers, crystal, etc.

NAOMI (V.O.)
A lotta people would look at me
and think: “golddigger, she’s out
to land the richest husband she
can.” But you see, I came from
nothing. Like, below the poverty
line. And when you come from
nothing, being rich means never
having to go back to that.

Jordan approaches CRISTY, 20s, one of his guests.

CRISTY
Jordan, hey.
(he smiles; Cristy
picks up his intent)
Have you met my friend Naomi?

Jordan takes Naomi’s hand, doesn’t let go.

JORDAN
Naomi.

NAOMI
You have an awesome house. I
don’t think I’ve ever been in a
house like this.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 43.

JORDAN
You like it? I just got it. I
guess it’s okay. Six bedrooms,
two hot-tubs, one off the master
suite overlooking the water. You
like to jet-ski?

Naomi’s date Blair offers his hand to break them apart.
Toby Welch lurks behind him, giving him the evil-eye.

BLAIR
Hi. Blair Hollingsworth.

Jordan barely acknowledges him, focused on Naomi.

Outside, HILDY AZOFF chats with Teresa. Her eyes stray
to Jordan chatting up Naomi. Teresa’s eyes follow hers
and sees them. Ouch. Hildy goes.

JORDAN
You’re telling me you’ve never jet-
ski’ed in your life?!

NAOMI
Never.

BLAIR
Y’know, we really should hit it,
there’s two other parties we’re
s’posed to get to --

JORDAN
What? You just got here. Stay.

Naomi looks like she’d like to. Hildy approaches,
introduces herself, then:

HILDY
Jordan, Teresa needs your help.

JORDAN
With what?

HILDY
I dunno, you’ll have to ask your
wife what she wants.

Jordan sees: Teresa is watching from afar.

DONNIE(O.S.)
Oh sweet Jesus!

Jordan turns to see a drunk Donnie, cock in hand, jerking
off to Naomi. Hildy comes running over.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 44.

HILDY
Donnie! What the fuck are you
doing?!

During the melee that follows -- Hildy admonishing
Donnie, Blair removing Naomi from the party --

JORDAN (V.O.)
The day I met Naomi was the day I
truly became the Wolf. Every guy
wanted her -- so I had to have
her.

-- Jordan watches her go. Naomi shoots a glance back to
him and, like that, he’s hooked.

80 SCENES 80 - 81 OMITTED 80

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary At a lavish beach house party, Jordan is captivated by Naomi, a stunning blonde who arrives with her date, Blair. As Jordan attempts to impress her, his friend Donnie disrupts the atmosphere by exposing himself, creating chaos that Hildy tries to manage. Despite the distractions, Jordan's infatuation with Naomi intensifies, leaving him determined to pursue her as she departs the party.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Vibrant characters
Setting up conflicts and dynamics effectively

Weaknesses

Potential for stereotypical portrayals of wealth and excess

Critique

The scene effectively captures the hedonistic atmosphere of the beach house party, showcasing the excesses of Jordan's lifestyle. However, the dialogue can feel a bit disjointed at times, particularly with the rapid shifts between characters and their interactions. This could be streamlined to enhance clarity and flow.
Jordan's character is well-established as a charismatic leader, but the scene could benefit from deeper exploration of his motivations. While he is focused on impressing Naomi, the stakes of his actions could be heightened to create more tension and urgency.
The introduction of Naomi is visually striking, but her internal monologue feels somewhat disconnected from the action. Integrating her thoughts more seamlessly into the scene could enhance her character development and provide a clearer contrast to Jordan's perspective.
The comedic elements, particularly Donnie's antics, add levity to the scene, but they risk overshadowing the more serious undertones of Jordan's obsession with wealth and status. Balancing humor with the darker themes of the narrative could create a more nuanced portrayal of the characters.
The scene ends with a strong visual of Jordan being hooked by Naomi, but it could benefit from a more explicit emotional or thematic connection to the overall narrative. This would help reinforce the significance of this moment in Jordan's journey.

Suggestions

Consider tightening the dialogue to improve pacing and coherence, ensuring that each character's lines contribute to the overall flow of the scene.
Explore Jordan's internal conflict more deeply, perhaps through additional voiceover or visual cues that highlight his obsession with Naomi and the lengths he is willing to go to win her over.
Integrate Naomi's internal thoughts more fluidly into the scene, perhaps by using her observations to comment on the absurdity of the party and the characters around her.
Balance the comedic elements with the darker themes by allowing moments of reflection for Jordan amidst the chaos, showcasing the consequences of his lifestyle even in celebratory settings.
Enhance the emotional stakes of the scene by foreshadowing the impact of Jordan's obsession with Naomi on his relationships and future decisions, creating a stronger thematic connection to the overall narrative.

Scene 15 - Temptation in the City

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

82 INT. SIGN OF THE DOVE - MANHATTAN - NIGHT (JUN ‘92) 82

Romantic; elegant. Over a bottle of ‘53 Lafite, Jordan
sits in mid conversation with Naomi, who is stunning in a
low-cut black cocktail dress.

JORDAN
Bay Ridge. That’s near Staten
Island?

NAOMI
Brooklyn, across the Verrazano
Bridge. Guinea gulch. Ever been?

JORDAN
You’re Italian?

NAOMI
My dad’s side. Also Dutch,
German, English -- I’m a mutt.
Actually I have family over there,
in London. My Aunt Emma.

JORDAN
That explains it then.

NAOMI
What?

JORDAN
(smiles)
You’re a Duchess. The Duchess of
Bay Ridge.

Naomi smiles, flags a passing WAITER.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 45.

NAOMI
Could I have a straw please?

The Waiter nods, heads off. A few beats, then:

NAOMI (CONT’D)
So I was a little surprised you
asked Cristy for my number.

JORDAN
How come?

NAOMI
Aren’t you married?

JORDAN
Married people can’t have friends?

Naomi smiles. The Waiter brings the straw. She opens
it, slips it in her red wine glass. Off Jordan’s look:

NAOMI
So I don’t stain my teeth.

And as she sips the wine seductively through the straw...

83 EXT. BROOKLYN BRIDGE - NIGHT 83

Jordan’s Ferrari makes its way over the bridge, heading
back toward Brooklyn.

NAOMI (O.S.)
--then at night I do my designs.

84 INT. JORDAN’S FERRARI - CONTINUOUS 84

Jordan drives, Naomi next to him.

NAOMI
An entire line of lingerie --
camisoles, bustiers, panties.

Jordan glances over -- her dress is riding up her thigh.

JORDAN (V.O.)
She designs panties?! Jesus
fucking Christ!

Naomi smiles.

JORDAN
Sounds like something I might
invest in. Venture capital.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 46.

NAOMI
Well we should definitely keep in
touch, then.

JORDAN
Absolutely.

He pulls over outside her brownstone.

NAOMI
That’s me.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Think, Jordan, think! How can you
get up to her apartment?!

They look at each other. We can almost hear Jordan’s
heart pounding.

NAOMI
You wanna come up for some tea?

85 INT. NAOMI’S APARTMENT - NIGHT 85

A small, cozy apartment. Naomi enters, Jordan close
behind. She picks up Rocky, her yapping Maltese.

NAOMI
Say hi, Rocky.

Naomi waves Rocky’s paw. Jordan smiles.

NAOMI (CONT’D)
Why don’t you light a fire? I’ll
be right out.

Jordan nods, takes in her scent as she walks away.

JORDAN (V.O.)
God, please help me. How can I
fuck this girl?

As he crouches by the fireplace, his skypager vibrates.
He checks the readout: “Teresa”. His face falls as he
hits the “silent” button, mind racing with guilt.

JORDAN (V.O.)
That’s it, you’re leaving. You’re
going home to your wife.

Jordan stands, turns around -- NAOMI is in the doorway,
naked except for high heels.

JORDAN (V.O.)
As you can probably guess, I
fucked her goddamn brains out.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 47.

86 INT. NAOMI’S BEDROOM - NIGHT 86

Rocky yaps incessantly as Jordan pounds away atop Naomi.

JORDAN (V.O.)
For eleven seconds.

Jordan cums loudly, convulsively.

JORDAN
I’m sorry, I--

NAOMI
Did you cum?

JORDAN
(nods; gasping)
Yeah, but I’m still hard.

Jordan looks down at her.

JORDAN (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Being inside her... was like your
cock went to heaven and God
himself was cupping your balls.

And as they start fucking again...

87 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY 87
(JUN ‘92)

Jordan sits at his desk, telephone to his ear.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I couldn’t get enough.

Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In an elegant Manhattan restaurant, Jordan and Naomi share a flirtatious dinner, where Naomi reveals her mixed heritage and her lingerie designs, igniting chemistry between them. After dinner, Jordan drives Naomi home, and despite his guilt over his marriage, he is drawn into her cozy apartment. The scene culminates in a passionate encounter, showcasing Jordan's struggle between desire and guilt.

Strengths

Strong character development
Emotional depth
Romantic tension

Weaknesses

Limited external conflict
Focus on internal struggles

Critique

The scene effectively establishes the chemistry between Jordan and Naomi, using flirtation and humor to create a sense of tension and attraction. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext; while it is playful, it often feels surface-level and could delve deeper into their characters' motivations and desires.
Jordan's internal monologue provides insight into his thoughts and feelings, but it sometimes detracts from the immediacy of the scene. The voiceover could be used more sparingly to allow the visual storytelling and dialogue to carry the emotional weight.
The transition from the restaurant to the car and then to Naomi's apartment is smooth, but the pacing could be tightened. The scene could benefit from a more dynamic rhythm, perhaps by interspersing more action or physicality between the dialogue exchanges.
The introduction of the dog, Rocky, adds a layer of domesticity to Naomi's character, but it could be used more effectively to contrast with Jordan's chaotic lifestyle. This could enhance the thematic tension between their worlds.
The climax of the scene, where Jordan's guilt clashes with his desire, is impactful but could be heightened. The moment he receives the message from Teresa feels rushed; building more tension before this moment could amplify the stakes and emotional conflict.

Suggestions

Consider adding more subtext to the dialogue, allowing the characters to reveal their true feelings and intentions without stating them outright. This can create a richer interaction and deepen the audience's engagement.
Use Jordan's voiceover more strategically, focusing on key moments that enhance the emotional stakes rather than narrating every thought. This will allow the dialogue and actions to resonate more powerfully.
Incorporate more physical actions or gestures during the dialogue to create a more dynamic scene. For example, have Jordan fidget or exhibit nervous energy as he grapples with his guilt, which can visually represent his internal conflict.
Explore the relationship between Jordan and Rocky further. Perhaps Jordan's interaction with the dog could serve as a moment of reflection on his own life choices, contrasting the innocence of the pet with his morally ambiguous actions.
Build more tension leading up to the moment of infidelity. Consider extending the dialogue or adding a moment of hesitation before Jordan receives the message from Teresa, allowing the audience to feel the weight of his decision more acutely.

Scene 16 - Beneath the Surface

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 7

88 INT. NAOMI’S APARTMENT - DAY (JUN ‘92) 88

CLOSE ON Naomi, who talks on the phone, smiling. We PULL
BACK to see the apartment is packed with flowers.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Every chance we got, we’d sneak
off together...

89 INT. LIMOSINE - NIGHT (AUG ‘92) 89

Giggling like a child, Jordan pours coke from a vial,
creating a little mound atop one of Naomi’s breasts.

JORDAN
Hold still, don’t move.
(to the Driver)
Watch the potholes!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 48.

More giggling, then he snorts the coke off her breast,
burying his face in it as he climbs on top of her. Naomi
laughs uncontrollably as the limo glides to a stop. The
door opens from outside -- the Doorman?

TERESA (O.S.)
Get out of the fucking car.

Jordan looks up, locks eyes with Teresa. He jumps off
Naomi, stumbles out, closing the door behind himself.

90 EXT. JORDAN’S MANHATTAN APARTMENT BUILDING - CONTINUOUS 90

JORDAN TERESA
What are you doing home? That whore from the party?
How could you do this to
me?!

The limo takes off. Teresa starts crying...

JORDAN
I thought you were at the beach
house, I--

TERESA
I married you when you had
nothing--

JORDAN
Teresa... I don’t know what to
say.

TERESA
You’re like a totally different
person.

JORDAN
I’m not. I’m sorry. I made a
mistake, okay?

TERESA
Tell me you don’t love her.

JORDAN
I...

TERESA
(off his silence)
Jordan?

Jordan says nothing. Finally, Teresa starts sobbing.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I felt horrible.

Jordan holds her, letting her cry.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 49.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Three days later I filed for
divorce and moved Naomi into the
apartment.

91 INT. JORDAN’S MANHATTAN APARTMENT - DINING ROOM - DUSK 91
(SEP ‘92)

Completely remodelled, all new furniture. Jordan and
Naomi sit at the table, set for a candle-light dinner.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Say what you will, but the Duchess
did have style. She brought in a
decorator, feng shui’d the place--
she even hired a gay butler.

NICHOLAS THE BUTLER, 40s, enters with hot towels on a
silver tray.

JORDAN
Thank you, Nicholas.

Jordan takes a towel, wipes his face. Naomi smiles.

JORDAN (V.O.) (CONT’D)
He was smart, sophisticated,
really great. Except for that
one time...

92 SCENES 92 - 94 OMITTED * 92

95 INT. JORDAN’S MANHATTAN APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT * 95

A GAY ORGY is in progress, a dozen naked MEN, including
Nicholas, in various sexual positions about the room.

NAOMI
Omigod!

96 INT. JORDAN’S MANHATTAN APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 96

Jordan sits across from a very shaken Naomi.

NAOMI
He must have thought I was at my
mother’s.

JORDAN
Where were they? In the bedroom?

NAOMI
They were right here!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 50.

A beat, then Jordan realizes. He jumps off the couch
like it’s on fire.

NAOMI (CONT’D)
It gets worse. After I chased
them out, I checked the apartment.

JORDAN (V.O.)
The motherfucker stole fifty grand
in cash and jewelry.

Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In a vibrant apartment filled with flowers, Naomi joyfully reminisces about her relationship with Jordan. The scene shifts to a limousine where their playful drug use is interrupted by Teresa, who confronts Jordan about his infidelity, leading to a heated argument and his decision to divorce her. As Jordan and Naomi enjoy a romantic candle-lit dinner in their newly remodeled apartment, chaos erupts when Naomi discovers a wild gay orgy taking place, alongside the shocking revelation that their butler, Nicholas, has stolen a significant amount of money and jewelry. The scene captures the emotional turmoil and betrayal that disrupts their seemingly perfect life.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character dynamics
Tension building

Weaknesses

Potentially cliched elements
Lack of external action

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic and hedonistic lifestyle of Jordan and Naomi, showcasing their relationship's volatility. The juxtaposition of the romantic dinner setting with the shocking revelation of the orgy creates a strong contrast that heightens the drama.
Jordan's voiceover provides insight into his mindset, but it could be more reflective. Instead of just stating facts, it could delve deeper into his emotional conflict regarding his infidelity and the consequences of his actions.
The dialogue between Jordan and Teresa is impactful, but it feels somewhat rushed. The emotional weight of Teresa's heartbreak could be expanded upon to create a more profound connection with the audience. This would enhance the stakes of Jordan's choices.
The transition from the intimate dinner to the chaotic orgy is abrupt. While this serves to shock the audience, it may benefit from a more gradual build-up or foreshadowing to make the revelation feel more earned.
The character of Nicholas, the butler, is introduced but not fully developed. His role in the story could be expanded to add depth to the narrative, perhaps by hinting at his motivations or background, which would make the betrayal more impactful.

Suggestions

Consider adding more internal conflict in Jordan's voiceover, exploring his feelings of guilt and desire as he navigates his relationships with both Teresa and Naomi.
Expand Teresa's dialogue to allow her to express her feelings more fully, giving the audience a clearer understanding of her emotional state and the stakes involved in Jordan's infidelity.
Introduce subtle hints or foreshadowing about the orgy earlier in the scene to create a more cohesive narrative flow leading up to the shocking reveal.
Develop Nicholas's character further, perhaps by including a brief backstory or a moment that hints at his duplicity, making the betrayal feel more significant.
Consider using visual motifs or symbols throughout the scene to enhance the emotional undertones, such as contrasting lighting between the romantic dinner and the chaotic orgy, to visually represent the duality of Jordan's life.

Scene 17 - Betrayal in the City

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 9
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

97 INT. JORDAN’S MANHATTAN APARTMENT - LIBRARY - DAY 97
(OCT ‘92)

With Nicholas seated in a chair, Jordan sits across from
him. Pacing behind him is Donnie, coked-up, face
contorted, frothing with rage. Nearby, giant Chester
Ming sits quietly, saying nothing.

JORDAN
I just want my stuff back, okay?

NICHOLAS THE BUTLER
I didn’t take anything.

DONNIE
(in his face)
I should kill you, cocksucker!
You do not fuck with this man!

Jordan holds Donnie off. Turns back to Nicholas.

JORDAN
You were high, things got out of
control, I get it. Believe me I
do, I have a Phd in debauchery.

NICHOLAS THE BUTLER
I didn’t do it.

DONNIE
I’ll knock your fuckin’ teeth out,
motherfucker!

JORDAN
Just give me the money, give me
the jewelry, and we’ll forget the
whole thing.

NICHOLAS THE BUTLER
It’s because I’m gay, isn’t it?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 51.

JORDAN
Nicholas. You could fuck a baby
sheep as far as I care, on my
brand new fucking sofa. What I
won’t stand for is being robbed.

NICHOLAS THE BUTLER
I’m telling you the truth.

JORDAN
I’ll ask you one last time.

DONNIE
You’re dead, you piece of shit!

NICHOLAS THE BUTLER
Jordan, please.

JORDAN
Fine.

Jordan nods to Chester. Without a word, he crosses to
Nicholas and BAMMM!! Nicholas’s nose splits open like a
ripe plum, blood spurting everywhere. Tough-guy Donnie
takes one look, then SPEWS vomit into a garbage pail.
And as Chester pummels Nicholas’s face into chopped
meat...

JORDAN (V.O.) (CONT’D)
It’s amazing the kind of loyalty
money will buy. I mean Chester
almost killed this prick.

Chester starts to hang Nicholas over the balcony by his
legs. Jordan stops him.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I finally called the cops, mainly
to save Nicholas’s life.

98 INT. JORDAN’S MANHATTAN APARTMENT - FOYER - DAY 98

With the bloodied Nicholas in the background, Jordan
talks to two NYPD COPS, handing them each a wad of cash.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I gave them each a thousand bucks
and told them what Nicholas had
done. Then they kicked his ass.

As the Cops swat Nicholas with their nightsticks:

COP #1 COP #2
Fuckin’ thief, huh? Piece of shit.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 52.

And as they hustle Nicholas out...

JORDAN (V.O.)
Loyalty, like I said. Which was
the key component to my incredible
fucking success.

98A EXT. GOLF COURSE - DAY (OCT ‘92) 98A

As Jordan golfs with Donnie, Chester, Robbie, Toby and *
some hookers, Brad pulls up in a golf cart with a cash- *
filled gym bag.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Besides Brad, I had eight other
‘ratholes’, close friends who’d
own stock on paper, but kick the
profits back to me after I drove
the price through the roof.

They hug, then Jordan adds the gym bag to several others
on the back of his golf cart. Donnie tries to befriend
Brad; Brad isn’t interested.

JORDAN (V.O.)
The SEC knew I was doing something
shady, but they couldn’t figure
out what the fuck it was.

99 SCENES 99 - 100 OMITTED 99

Genres: ["Crime","Drama"]

Summary In Jordan's Manhattan apartment, tensions escalate as he confronts Nicholas, the butler, over stolen money and jewelry. High on cocaine, Donnie threatens Nicholas, while silent enforcer Chester brutally assaults him. Despite Nicholas's denials, Jordan orchestrates the violence and later pays off the police to take action against Nicholas, reflecting on the corrupting power of money and loyalty.

Strengths

Intense emotions
Effective dialogue
Character dynamics
Themes of loyalty and betrayal

Weaknesses

Violence may be too graphic for some audiences

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic and violent atmosphere that surrounds Jordan's world, showcasing the extremes of his lifestyle. However, the dialogue can feel somewhat repetitive, particularly in the back-and-forth between Jordan and Nicholas. This could be streamlined to maintain tension without losing the audience's engagement.
The character dynamics are strong, particularly the contrast between Jordan's calm demeanor and Donnie's explosive rage. However, Chester's role as a silent enforcer could be expanded to give him more presence in the scene. A few lines or actions that hint at his thoughts or motivations could add depth to his character.
The use of voiceover is effective in conveying Jordan's perspective on loyalty and success, but it risks overshadowing the immediate action. Balancing the voiceover with the live dialogue could enhance the emotional impact of the scene, allowing the audience to feel the tension in real-time rather than through narration.
The physical violence is visceral and shocking, which aligns with the tone of the film. However, the transition from dialogue to violence could be more gradual to build suspense. The suddenness of the violence might detract from the emotional stakes of the confrontation.
The scene ends with a strong visual of the cops taking Nicholas away, but it could benefit from a more explicit emotional reaction from Jordan. This would help to ground the audience in his character's moral ambiguity and the consequences of his actions.

Suggestions

Consider tightening the dialogue between Jordan and Nicholas to eliminate redundancy and keep the tension high. Focus on key phrases that convey urgency and desperation.
Give Chester a moment to express his thoughts or feelings about the situation, even if it's just a brief line or a facial expression. This will make him feel more like an active participant rather than a background character.
Reassess the balance between voiceover and dialogue. Perhaps use the voiceover to set up the scene before the confrontation, then let the dialogue carry the weight of the moment during the action.
Build up to the violence with more tension in the dialogue. Perhaps have Jordan and Nicholas exchange more heated words before the physical altercation, creating a sense of inevitable conflict.
Add a moment at the end where Jordan reflects on the violence he just witnessed, either through a brief internal monologue or a reaction shot that shows his conflicted feelings about the situation.

Scene 18 - Chaos in the Bullpen

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

101 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - BULLPEN - (ANOTHER) DAY 101

Jordan, Max and securities lawyer MANNY RISKIN exit the
kitchen with coffees.

MANNY RISKIN
I’m telling you -- piss on the
SEC’s leg, you’ll end up with your
tits in a ringer.

FREEZE FRAME - Manny stuffs a cruller into his mouth.

JORDAN (V.O.)
My securities attorney, Manny
Riskin. Seven hundred an hour to *
be the voice of doom.

BACK TO SCENE

JORDAN
It’s under control. Will you
relax already?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 53.

Just then, Max spots a BROKER break-dancing as three
other Brokers look on...

MAX
What the fuck is this imbecile
doing?!

Max crosses off, starts screaming at the break-dancing
Broker. Jordan keeps walking with Manny.

JORDAN (V.O.)
The SEC sent two lawyers down to
review our files, so I set them
up in our conference room.

Jordan passes the conference room, looks in the window--
two SEC ATTORNEYS wear coats as they review documents.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Then I had it bugged and the air
conditioning locked till it felt
like Antarctica in there.

One of the SEC Attorneys blows into his hands for warmth.
Manny follows Jordan toward the bullpen, his frenzied
Brokers working the phones.

JORDAN (V.O.)
So here they were, looking for a
smoking gun while I was firing a
bazooka right under their noses.
It was our first IPO, and we were
driving the stock price to the
fucking moon.

BROKER #1
Arncliffe National, it’s on fire!

BROKER #2
(voice lowered)
Believe me, your grandkids will
thank you.

BROKER #3
(to Sales Assistant)
Arncliffe National, ten thousand
shares!

Jordan speaks directly to camera as he continues walking
through the bullpen.

JORDAN
See an IPO is an initial public
offering, the first time a stock
is offered for sale to the general
population.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 54.
JORDAN (CONT'D)
As the firm taking the company
public, we set the initial price,
then sold those shares back to -- *
(stops; then)
You know what, you’re probably not *
following what I’m saying. The *
question is, “was it legal?” *
Absolutely not. But we were making *
more money that we knew what to do *
with. *

102 SCENE 102 OMITTED 102

102A EXT. BANK - DAY - ESTABLISHING (OCT ‘92) 102A
*

103 INT. BANK - SAFE DEPOSIT VAULT - DAY (OCT ‘92) 103

Alone in a private room, Jordan unloads a small suitcase
filled with stacks and stacks of hundred dollar bills.

JORDAN (V.O.)
But I figured it out. *

CLOSE ON - a huge diamond engagement ring.

NAOMI (O.C.)
Omigod!!

104 INT. FOUR SEASONS RESTAURANT - NIGHT (OCT ‘92) 104

Jordan is down on one knee, proposing; Naomi
hyperventilates as he puts the ring on her finger -- a
seven carat, yellow canary diamond in a platinum setting.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I held my bachelor party at the
Tangiers in Las Vegas -- one last *
blowout for the Gods before I
settled down for good.

105 SCENE 105 OMITTED 105

106 INT. TRANS CAPITAL AIRLINES - JUMBO JET - NIGHT *106

Inside a jumbo jet, a wild, mid-air party is in progress.

JORDAN (V.O.)
A hundred Strattonites flew in
with fifty hookers and enough
drugs to open a pharmacy.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 55.

Various images -- Stratton Brokers drink, do coke, a half-
dozen in mid-orgy with Hookers, naked in the aisle as
others pour champagne on them.

JORDAN (V.O.)
All told, the weekend cost me
almost two million dollars--

107 PERIOD VEGAS ADS *107

108 INT. TANGIERS - PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - DAY *108

The Tangiers Presidential Suite is a shambles on the *
level of Hiroshima. A giant crystal chandelier lays
shattered on the floor; Jordan asleep in the massive bed,
a Blue Chip Hooker on either side of him; other passed-
out BODIES lay amid debris and broken, toppled furniture.

JORDAN (V.O.)
But the wedding was like something
out of a fairy tale--

109 EXT. OCEAN CLUB - BAHAMAS - SUNSET (DEC ‘92) 109

Gorgeous; tropical. Hundreds of FAMILY and FRIENDS
(Janet, Toby Welch, Peter DeBlasio and Kimmie Belzer)
look on as Jordan and Naomi walk up the aisle.

JORDAN (V.O.)
--with Naomi my Duchess, me her
handsome Duke and The Bahamas
Ocean Club our castle.

110 INT. OCEAN CLUB - BAHAMAS - BALLROOM - NIGHT 110

Jordan and Naomi waltz, their Guests joining in.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Of course after that bachelor
party, the Duke needed a few
penicillin shots so he could
safely consummate the marriage.

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In the bustling bullpen of Stratton Oakmont, Jordan, Max, and securities lawyer Manny Riskin discuss the SEC's scrutiny of their operations over coffee. Max becomes frustrated by a broker's break-dancing, while Jordan confidently reflects on how he has bugged the SEC attorneys' conference room to continue his illegal activities unnoticed. Amidst the frenetic energy of brokers promoting their IPO, Arncliffe National, Jordan explains the nature of IPOs and their legality, dismissing Manny's warnings about potential consequences. The scene captures the reckless confidence of Jordan and the chaotic atmosphere of the brokerage firm.

Strengths

Engaging characters
Sharp dialogue
Compelling concept

Weaknesses

Depiction of unethical behavior
Excessive focus on excess and luxury

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic atmosphere of Stratton Oakmont, showcasing the frenetic energy of the brokers and the tension surrounding the SEC's scrutiny. However, the dialogue could be sharpened to enhance character differentiation and make Manny's lines more impactful. Currently, his warning feels somewhat generic and lacks a unique voice.
Jordan's voiceover provides insight into his mindset and the illegal activities at play, but it could benefit from more emotional depth. Instead of merely stating facts, consider incorporating his internal conflict or justifications for his actions, which would add layers to his character.
The visual elements, such as the break-dancing broker, serve to illustrate the absurdity of the environment, but the scene could use more specific details to ground the viewer in the chaos. For instance, describing the sounds, smells, or even the expressions of the brokers could enhance the immersive quality of the scene.
The transition from the kitchen to the bullpen feels abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the flow of the scene. Perhaps a brief moment where Jordan reflects on the absurdity of the situation before entering the bullpen would create a more cohesive narrative.
While the humor in the scene is evident, it sometimes undermines the gravity of the situation with the SEC. Balancing the comedic elements with the tension of the impending investigation could create a more compelling dynamic.

Suggestions

Revise Manny's dialogue to make it more distinctive and memorable, perhaps by incorporating a personal anecdote or a unique catchphrase that reflects his character.
Deepen Jordan's voiceover by exploring his internal justifications for his actions, which would provide a more nuanced view of his character and the moral ambiguity of his choices.
Add sensory details to the scene to enhance the chaotic atmosphere, such as the sounds of ringing phones, shouting brokers, or the smell of coffee and sweat, to create a more vivid experience for the audience.
Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Jordan as he transitions from the kitchen to the bullpen, allowing the audience to connect with his mindset and the absurdity of the situation.
Balance the humor with the tension of the SEC investigation by incorporating moments of seriousness or concern from Jordan or Manny, which would heighten the stakes and create a more engaging conflict.

Scene 19 - Waves of Celebration and Conflict

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 7
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

111 INT. OCEAN CLUB - BAHAMAS - BALLROOM - LATER 111

As Jordan and Naomi mingle with a few Strattonites,
videographer BARRY KLEINMAN, 40s, approaches Rugrat and
his DATE, ABBY with a video camera:
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 56.

BARRY KLEINMAN
I’m Barry Kleinman, filming the
wedding -- would you like to say
something to Jordan and Naomi?

RUGRAT / ABBY
Good luck! We love you!

Across the way, Naomi spots someone through the crowd--

NAOMI
Omigod! Aunt Emma!

Naomi rushes over, hugs her AUNT EMMA, 50s, demure,
British. Naomi turns, calls out to Jordan, who is now in
a huddle with the guys, his back to her.

NAOMI (CONT’D)
Jordan! Look!

Jordan turns, then crosses to them, smiling.

AUNT EMMA
Jordan dear, how lovely.

JORDAN
It’s so nice to see you again.

As he leans in to hug her, Aunt Emma spots some white
powder on the edge of Jordan’s nostril. Deftly, she
wipes it off, smiling.

AUNT EMMA
Into the donuts, I see.

JORDAN
Oh, I’m--- uh...

Aunt Emma leans in to his ear.

AUNT EMMA
I lived through the 60s, my dear.
Enjoy the day.

And with that, she turns back to Naomi.

112 EXT. BAHAMAS - MARINA - DAY (DEC ‘92) 112

With Naomi wearing a blindfold, Jordan leads her to the
end of a long dock, expensive yachts moored everywhere.

JORDAN
Careful now. You ready?

Jordan removes her blindfold -- there, towering above the
others, is a stunning, 120 foot yacht.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 57.

NAOMI
What is this?

JORDAN
Your wedding present. Check out
the name.

She does; it’s called “Naomi”. As she squeals, hugs him-

JORDAN (V.O.)
For three weeks we sailed the
Naomi through the Caribbean--

113 INT. YACHT NAOMI - DAY (DEC ‘92) 113

The camera PUSHES IN past a white-jacketed STEWARD,
who opens the door to the yacht’s main salon; next we see
the living room, with its full bar and leather couches;
then the bedroom, with a king bed and monogrammed sheets.

JORDAN (V.O.)
--eventually taking her home to
Long Island, where we’d bought a
house.

114 EXT. CARIBBEAN - OPEN OCEAN - DAY (DEC ‘92 - JAN ‘93) 114

The Naomi sails the calm waters, Jordan and Naomi popping
ludes, sunbathing blissfully on the deck.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Seven acres on the Gold Coast of
Long Island--

115-115K EXT./INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - DAY (APR ‘93) 115-115K

Various shots -- the massive house; the glistening pool;
waterfall; fountains; tennis court; driving range;
gazebo; gym; sauna; library; media room.

JORDAN (V.O.)
--the most expensive real estate
in the world, with maids, cooks,
landscapers, you name it.

115L WE SEE the household STAFF lined up outside the house. 115L

JORDAN (V.O.)
We even had two guards who worked
in shifts, both named Rocco.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 58.

116 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY (FEB ‘95) 116

Amid billowing piles of white Chinese silk, Jordan sleeps
on his back, snoring blissfully.

JORDAN (V.O.)
It was heaven on earth.

On screen WE SEE:

18 MONTHS LATER

Splash! A glass of water hits him in the face.

NAOMI
Wake up, you bag of shit!

Soaking wet, Jordan sits upright to see Naomi standing
over him in a tiny pink chemise, holding an empty glass.

JORDAN
The fuck are you doing?!

NAOMI
Who’s Venice?

JORDAN
What?!

NAOMI
Who is she?! Some little hooker
you fucked last night?

JORDAN
What? No! Naomi!

And as Naomi storms off for a re-fill...

117 INT. HOTEL ROOM - THE NIGHT BEFORE (FEB ‘95) 117

Jordan lies on the ground, hands tied with a lit candle *
up his ass. *

JORDAN *
Venice, where are you? *

VENICE, A Blue Chip Hooker, enters, pulls out a candle *
and straddles him. She drips wax on his back and pulls *
his hair. *

Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Comedy"]

Summary At a wedding reception in the Bahamas, Jordan and Naomi celebrate their union amidst joyful interactions with guests, including a humorous reunion with Aunt Emma, who comments on Jordan's drug use. Jordan surprises Naomi with a luxurious yacht named 'Naomi,' showcasing their extravagant lifestyle. However, the scene takes a tense turn as Naomi confronts Jordan about his fidelity, leading to an angry wake-up call that hints at deeper issues in their relationship.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Complex characters
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some cliched elements
Stereotypical character dynamics

Critique

The scene effectively captures the extravagant lifestyle of Jordan and Naomi, showcasing their wealth and the superficiality of their relationships. However, the transition from the wedding reception to the yacht reveal feels a bit abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative.
The dialogue between Aunt Emma and Jordan is humorous and adds depth to their relationship, but it could benefit from more subtext. While Aunt Emma's comment about the 'donuts' is clever, it might be more impactful if it hinted at deeper concerns about Jordan's lifestyle rather than just being a light-hearted quip.
The voiceover narration provides insight into Jordan's mindset and the opulence of his life, but it risks becoming repetitive. The audience may already grasp the excessiveness of his lifestyle, so varying the narrative style or incorporating more visual storytelling could keep the audience engaged.
The montage of their life on the yacht and in their estate is visually rich, but it could be more emotionally resonant. Currently, it feels like a checklist of luxury items rather than a portrayal of their relationship dynamics. Adding moments that highlight their emotional connection or disconnection would deepen the impact.
The final moment with Naomi waking Jordan up is a strong emotional pivot, but the dialogue could be more impactful. Instead of jumping straight to accusations, consider building tension with more subtle hints of her suspicions before the confrontation. This would enhance the dramatic stakes.

Suggestions

Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Jordan after Aunt Emma's comment, allowing the audience to see his internal conflict regarding his lifestyle and choices.
Enhance the transition between the wedding reception and the yacht reveal by incorporating a brief moment of dialogue or action that connects the two settings, perhaps involving other guests or a shared toast.
Incorporate more visual storytelling during the montage, such as showing Jordan and Naomi engaging in activities that reveal their relationship dynamics, rather than just showcasing their possessions.
Revise the dialogue in the confrontation scene to build tension gradually, allowing Naomi's suspicions to simmer before she confronts Jordan directly. This could involve her asking leading questions or expressing concern about his behavior.
Consider using a more varied narrative style in the voiceover, perhaps incorporating Jordan's thoughts in a more fragmented or chaotic manner to reflect his mental state as his life begins to unravel.

Scene 20 - Confrontation of Betrayal

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 7
Plot: 8
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

118 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY (FEB ‘95) 118

Back to scene. Naomi holds another full glass, rocking
back and forth on the balls of her feet like a fighter.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 59.

NAOMI
You were calling her name in your
sleep!

JORDAN
I can explain everything.

NAOMI
Go ahead. More lies from the man
who lies for a living!

JORDAN
No, really. Donnie and me, we’re
investing in a condo development
in Venice.

NAOMI
Italy?!

JORDAN
California, baby.

NAOMI
Yeah, right.

JORDAN
Duchess, come on.

NAOMI
Don’t ‘Duchess’ me, you scumbag.
You think I don’t know what you’re
up to? You’re a father now and
you act like an infant!

Splash! She nails him again, crosses for more water.

JORDAN
Fuck. Naomi! Why are you so mad?

NAOMI
Where do you want me to start?
How about you flying in here on
your stupid helicopter at three in
the morning waking up Skylar?!

119 EXT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - YARD - NIGHT (FEB ‘95) 119

Jordan crash-lands the helicopter on the driving range. *
He exits, gives Captain Dave a salute, fights his way *
through the bushes, then stumbles toward the house and *
falls into the pool, stoned out of his skull. Security *
floodlights come on and the alarm sounds. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 60.

NAOMI (O.S.)
Does it even matter to you that I
just had that driving range sodded
with Bermuda grass?

120 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY (FEB ‘95) 120

Back to scene. Naomi holds another glass of water.

NAOMI
But why should you give a shit?
You're not the one who researched
the fucking thing and dealt with
the fucking golf course people!

JORDAN
You’re an aspiring landscape
architect?! But what happened to
wine connoisseur? Oh wait, that
was last month!

NAOMI
Fuck you!

Naomi winds up with the water glass. Jordan stands tall,
puffs himself up, arms flexed at his sides.

NAOMI (CONT’D)
Stop flexing your arms, you look
like a fucking imbecile.
(re: his crotch)
And don’t think that impresses me
much.

Jordan looks down: he has a morning erection.

JORDAN
I wasn't flexing my arms. You're
just lucky to have a husband who's
in such great shape. Now get over
here and kiss me!

NAOMI
Kiss you?!

Splash! She nails him one last time, then storms out.
He stands there dripping wet. To his erection:

JORDAN
Where the fuck were you last
night?

JORDAN (V.O.)
My morning ritual. First I’d get
up and fight with Naomi about
whatever I did the night before.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 61.

120A INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - STEAM SHOWER - DAY 120A

Jordan stands in the steaming shower.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Next it was a steam so I could
sweat out whatever drugs were
still in my system.

120B INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - MASTER BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS 120B

Jordan looks at himself in the mirror. His eyes are
bloodshot - he looks like shit.

JORDAN (V.O.)
After that I’d assess the damage.

Jordan looks at a Visine bottle - “Recommended Dosage -
Two Drops”. He squirts six drops in each eye.

JORDAN (V.O.)
What kind of maniac abuses eye
drops?

121 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - DRESSING ROOM - DAY (FEB ‘95) 121

Fully dressed and standing amid hundreds of suits, Jordan
pops two white pills, swigs some juice.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Then I’d get dressed, take my
“back pills” to get me started,
then attempt to make up with her.

Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In a tense confrontation in their master bedroom, Naomi accuses Jordan of infidelity after hearing him call another woman's name in his sleep. Their argument escalates as Naomi expresses her frustration over Jordan's reckless behavior, including a disruptive late-night helicopter arrival. Jordan attempts to downplay the situation by mentioning a condo investment, but Naomi sees through his lies. The scene shifts to Jordan's morning routine, where he reflects on his chaotic lifestyle and his desire to reconcile with Naomi. The conflict remains unresolved as Naomi storms out, leaving Jordan bewildered and alone.

Strengths

Intense emotional conflict
Character depth and development
Effective dialogue

Weaknesses

Potentially repetitive arguments
Limited external action

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic and toxic nature of Jordan and Naomi's relationship, showcasing their verbal sparring and the emotional fallout from Jordan's infidelity. However, the dialogue can feel somewhat repetitive, particularly in Naomi's accusations and Jordan's defensive responses, which may detract from the overall impact of the confrontation.
The use of physical comedy, such as Naomi splashing water on Jordan, adds a layer of humor to the tension, but it risks undermining the seriousness of the emotional stakes. Balancing the comedic elements with the gravity of their issues could enhance the scene's effectiveness.
Jordan's internal monologue provides insight into his mindset, but it could be more tightly integrated with the action. The transition from the argument to his morning routine feels abrupt, and the voiceover could benefit from more specific reflections on his feelings about the fight and his lifestyle choices.
The visual elements, such as Jordan's bloodshot eyes and the chaotic environment of the estate, effectively convey his state of mind. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience further in the atmosphere, such as the sounds of the estate or the tension in the air during their argument.
The pacing of the scene is uneven, with some moments feeling rushed while others linger too long. Streamlining the dialogue and actions could create a more dynamic rhythm that reflects the volatility of their relationship.

Suggestions

Consider tightening the dialogue to eliminate repetitive phrases and enhance the emotional weight of the confrontation. Focus on unique lines that reveal character motivations and deepen the conflict.
Explore ways to balance the comedic elements with the serious themes of infidelity and emotional turmoil. This could involve adjusting the timing of comedic moments or incorporating more dramatic beats to heighten the stakes.
Integrate Jordan's internal monologue more seamlessly with the action, perhaps by having him reflect on specific moments from the argument as it unfolds, rather than transitioning abruptly to his morning routine.
Add more sensory details to the scene to create a richer atmosphere. Describe the sounds, smells, and visual chaos of the estate to immerse the audience in the environment and enhance the emotional tension.
Revise the pacing to ensure a more consistent flow throughout the scene. Consider varying the rhythm of the dialogue and actions to reflect the intensity of the argument and the chaotic nature of their lives.

Scene 21 - Seduction and Surveillance

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

122 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - SKYLAR’S ROOM - DAY (FEB ‘95) 122

Jordan enters the tiny pink wonderland. On the fluffy
pink carpet is Naomi, now in a minidress hiked above her
hips, Manolo Blahniks showing polished red toes. Between
her legs sits SKYLAR, their 5-month-old daughter.

JORDAN
Hey, Skylar.

NAOMI
(little girl voice)
Good morning Daddy. Where’s my
kiss?

Jordan kisses the baby, picks her up.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 62.

JORDAN
(playing along)
Does Daddy get to kiss both his
girls?

NAOMI
Ohhh, no! Daddy doesn't even get
to touch Mommy for a very, very
long time.

Naomi lays back on her elbows, thighs parted - she’s
wearing no panties. The wind goes out of Jordan.

JORDAN
C’mon, Nay, please. You know how
sorry I am. I swear I--

NAOMI
(cutting him off)
Daddy shouldn’t waste his time.
And from now on it's going to be
nothing but short, short skirts
around the house! And Mommy’s
so sick and tired of wearing
panties, uhhh. In fact she’s
decided to throw them all away.
(parting her thighs)
So take a good look. You’ll be
seeing an awful lot of it around
the house, but no touching.

She licks her lips seductively. Jordan sets Skylar
aside, starts grovelling.

NAOMI (CONT’D)
What’s wrong, Daddy?

Naomi slips her index finger in her mouth, starts sucking
it. Jordan can barely speak.

JORDAN
C’mon, why are you doing this?
I said I’m sorry.

NAOMI
(pouting)
Ohhhh poor, poor Dada. He loves to
say how wrong he is when he’s
ready to come in his own pants.
Isn’t that right Dada? Mommy loves
Daddy so, so much and there’s
nothing she wants to do more right
now than to make love to Daddy all
day long. Well, I guess it’s time
for Daddy to be taught his first
lesson.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 63.

Naomi runs her fingers over her stomach and on to her
inner thigh, then up toward her vagina. Jordan watches
transfixed, then a change comes over him...

JORDAN
I wouldn’t do that if I were you
Mommy. I think Mommy should hear a
story before she decides to please
herself like that.
Can Daddy tell Mommy a story?
(off her nod)
And does mommy promise to keep her
legs spread wide, wide open the
whole time?
(she nods dreamily)
Good. Once upon a time there was
a great big mansion in Long Island
and the people who lived there had
lots and lots of money. But of
all the possessions they had,
there was one thing that was much
more valuable than all the rest
combined, and that was their
little baby daughter.

Naomi listens, legs still spread, hand on her crotch.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Now because he was very security-
conscious, the Daddy hired two
full-time guards, big hairy men
both named Rocco, and they
installed security cameras all
around the house. And one of
those cameras is right over
Daddy's shoulder.

Naomi’s eyes widen -- she look toward a Teddy Bear on a
shelf. WE SEE that one of the eyes is a pinhole camera.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
So smile, Mommy! You're on Candid
Camera!

123 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - GUARD HOUSE - DAY (FEB ‘95) 123

Mesmerized, ROCCO DAY watches a video screen, on which we
see a grainy image of Naomi, hand between her legs.

124 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - SKYLAR’S BEDROOM - DAY (FEB ‘95) 124

Naomi jumps up as if she’s been electrocuted.

NAOMI
You asshole!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 64.

As she bolts from the room, Jordan plays with Skylar...

JORDAN (V.O.)
The good thing about living with
a world-class ballbreaker is they
make all the other ballbreakers in
your life a little easier to take.

125 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - OUTSIDE JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY 125
(FEB ‘95)

Donnie stands talking with Jordan’s assistant, Janet.
Jordan approaches under a head of steam.

DONNIE
There he is.

JORDAN
(a quick hug; then)
Steve here yet?

DONNIE
On his way. Very excited.

JORDAN
Good. Cuz we have a problem.

He indicates out to the Bullpen. Donnie and Janet look.

JANET
(incredulous)
Is he wearing a bow tie?

In the Bullpen WE SEE a young Stratton Broker in a bowtie
cleaning a small goldfish bowl on his desk.

JORDAN
He’s got nothing better to do on
the day of the biggest IPO in this
firm’s history?!

Jordan watches as Donnie marches toward the Broker in a
bowtie...

Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In Skylar's room, Jordan finds Naomi provocatively dressed, teasing him while he interacts with their baby daughter. Their playful yet tense exchange escalates as Naomi hints at her lack of underwear, asserting her control over Jordan. In an attempt to regain dominance, Jordan reveals a hidden camera watching them, shocking Naomi and prompting her to angrily flee the room, leaving Jordan with Skylar.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Tension-filled dialogue
Complex character dynamics

Weaknesses

Potentially controversial content
Lack of resolution in the scene

Critique

The scene effectively captures the tension and complexity of Jordan and Naomi's relationship, showcasing both seduction and manipulation. However, the dialogue can come off as overly explicit and may detract from the emotional weight of the moment. The playful banter is engaging, but it risks feeling gratuitous rather than meaningful.
The use of the hidden camera as a plot device is clever and adds a layer of dark humor, but it also raises ethical questions about consent and privacy. This could alienate some viewers if not handled with care. The scene might benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the power dynamics at play.
Naomi's character is portrayed as both seductive and vindictive, which can be compelling, but it may also reinforce negative stereotypes about women in relationships. It would be beneficial to provide her with more depth or a moment of vulnerability to balance her portrayal.
The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The buildup to the reveal of the hidden camera is effective, but the transition from playful seduction to shock could be smoother. The abruptness of Naomi's reaction might feel jarring to the audience, and a more gradual escalation could enhance the impact.
Jordan's character continues to be depicted as manipulative and self-serving, which is consistent with his arc. However, it might be interesting to explore a moment of genuine remorse or reflection from him, even if fleeting, to add complexity to his character.

Suggestions

Consider toning down the explicitness of the dialogue to maintain the scene's emotional resonance without crossing into gratuitous territory. Focus on the underlying emotions rather than just the physicality.
Explore Naomi's character further by adding a moment that reveals her vulnerabilities or motivations. This could create a more balanced dynamic between her and Jordan.
Smooth out the pacing by adding transitional beats that allow the audience to absorb the shift from playful to shocking. This could involve more internal dialogue from Jordan or subtle visual cues that foreshadow Naomi's reaction.
Revisit the ethical implications of the hidden camera and ensure that the scene addresses the power dynamics in a way that feels responsible and thought-provoking.
Incorporate a brief moment of introspection for Jordan after Naomi's reaction, allowing the audience to see a glimpse of his internal conflict, which could add depth to his character.

Scene 22 - A Fishy Display of Dominance

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

126 INT. BULLPEN - CONTINUOUS 126

DONNIE
The fuck you doing?

BROKER IN A BOWTIE
(bewildered)
Cleaning my fishbowl.

DONNIE
Oh.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 65.

Donnie nods, turns to go, but suddenly he turns back and
thrusts his arm in the bowl, grabbing for the squirming
goldfish. The Broker in a bowtie looks on, horrified.

DONNIE(CONT’D)
On new issue day?! On
cocksucking, motherfucking
new issue day?!

Dozen of Brokers and Sales Assistants look over as Donnie
snatches up the fish. Holding it by its tail, he jumps *
up on the desk of the Broker in a bowtie. Now the entire
Bullpen looks over.

DONNIE(CONT’D)
This is what happens when you fuck
with your pets on new issue day!

With the flair of a showman, Donnie pops the fish in his
mouth, swallowing it whole. The Brokers cheer wildly.
Donnie jumps down, gets in the face of the Broker in a
bowtie:

DONNIE(CONT’D)
Now take your bowtie, get your
shit and get the fuck out!

Bowtie is stunned. And as Donnie storms off, we PUSH IN
on Jordan, watching from across the room.

127 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY 127
(FEB ‘95)

Jordan finishes a phone call as Donnie enters with STEVE
MADDEN, 30s, dressed in wrinkled navy blazer, cargo pants
and T-shirt, a baseball cap over his scraggly, thinning
hair. Jordan smiles, crosses to greet him.

JORDAN
The Cobbler. Ready to get rich?

STEVE MADDEN
Hey buddy.

And as they ad lib greetings, settle in at the couch:

JORDAN (V.O.)
Steve Madden, the shoe designer,
was a childhood friend of
Donnie’s, but I didn’t hold that
against him. Remember those ads,
those giant-headed girls with bug
eyes wearing those big clunky
shoes?

127A INSERT - a quick series of Steve Madden ads. 127A
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 66.

JORDAN (V.O.)
He came to me a few years earlier
when he was just starting out, so
I became a silent partner in his
company, buying an 85% stake for
only a million bucks.

128 INT. STEVE MADDEN SHOES - DAY 128

WE SEE various stores, all packed with teenage GIRLS
buying shoes and boots.

JORDAN (V.O.)
The company blew up and we were
now taking it public. It was the
biggest deal we’d ever done and
the hottest IPO on Wall Street.

129 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY 129
(FEB ‘95)

Jordan and Donnie sit with Steve Madden in mid-
conversation.

DONNIE
--which is why they need to meet
you.

JORDAN
You gotta get ‘em fired up so
they’ll push the shit out of this
stock.

DONNIE
Let them feel your passion.

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a chaotic Wall Street bullpen, Donnie confronts a bewildered broker in a bowtie over his distraction on a crucial new issue day. In a fit of rage, Donnie grabs a goldfish from the broker's bowl, jumps on the desk, and swallows it whole, inciting cheers from the other brokers. He then orders the stunned broker to leave, showcasing his aggressive dominance as Jordan watches the absurd scene unfold.

Strengths

Humor
Engaging dialogue
Unexpected twist

Weaknesses

Lack of emotional depth
Slightly exaggerated actions

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic and reckless atmosphere of the Stratton Oakmont bullpen, showcasing Donnie's impulsive behavior and the absurdity of the situation. However, the act of swallowing the goldfish, while shocking, may come off as overly theatrical and could detract from the overall tone of the film, which balances dark humor with serious themes.
The dialogue is punchy and reflects the high-energy environment, but it could benefit from more character depth. Donnie's actions are extreme, and while they serve to highlight his character, the scene lacks a deeper exploration of his motivations or the consequences of such behavior, which could enhance the emotional stakes.
The reaction of the other brokers is a strong element, as it emphasizes the culture of excess and bravado at Stratton Oakmont. However, the scene could be improved by showing a more varied range of reactions from the brokers, perhaps including some who are disturbed by Donnie's actions, to create a more nuanced portrayal of the workplace dynamics.
The transition from this scene to the next feels abrupt. While the focus shifts to Jordan and Steve Madden, it would be beneficial to include a brief moment that connects the two scenes, perhaps by showing the aftermath of Donnie's stunt and how it affects the morale or focus of the brokers.

Suggestions

Consider toning down the absurdity of swallowing the goldfish to maintain a balance between humor and the serious implications of their actions. Perhaps Donnie could perform a less extreme act that still conveys his impulsiveness without overshadowing the narrative.
Add a line or two of dialogue that hints at Donnie's internal conflict or the pressure he feels on new issue day, which could provide more depth to his character and make his actions more relatable.
Incorporate a few lines from other brokers that reflect a mix of admiration and horror at Donnie's actions, which would create a more complex atmosphere and highlight the varying moral compasses within the firm.
Include a brief moment of reflection from Jordan after witnessing Donnie's stunt, which could serve as a transition to the next scene and provide insight into how he perceives the chaotic culture he has fostered.

Scene 23 - From Heckling to Hustle: The Madden Stock Rally

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 9

130 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - BULLPEN - DAY (FEB ‘95) 130

Bustling with activity. With Jordan and Donnie looking
on from nearby, Steve Madden approaches a microphone on
the raised platform, in his hands several shoe boxes.

STEVE MADDEN
(into mic)
Uhhh... excuse me...

The place slowly comes to order.

STEVE MADDEN (CONT’D)
For those of you who don't know
me, my name is Steve Madden. I'm --

ONE BROKER
We know who you are!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 67.

Steve clears his throat, looks over at Jordan -- he’s
terrified. Jordan motions for him to calm down.

STEVE MADDEN
I uh, I'd like to start by telling
you about my background in the
shoe industry.

ANOTHER BROKER
Nice fucking hat!

STEVE MADDEN
I uh... first started working in
the shoe industry, in a shoe
store. When I was sixteen, my
friends were out chasing girls,
but I was learning about women's
shoes.

KALIL PETER DEBLASIO
Move the mike closer. We can’t fucking hear you! *

He moves the mic; feedback SCREECHES through the bullpen.

STEVE MADDEN (CONT’D)
Sorry... Anyway, my first job
was at a shoe store like I said
where I worked in the stockroom.
You know, I can honestly say I’ve
been a lover of women's shoes
since I was twelve--

BROKER #4
Freak!

STEVE MADDEN
No. Heh-heh. Not like that.
I mean somehow I became fascinated
with the endless design
possibilities for women's shoes--

BROKER #5 BROKER #6
Queer! Get a fucking life!

Boos, hisses. Steve looks at Jordan, who motions for him
to speed up. He grabs a shoe from one of the boxes.

STEVE MADDEN (CONT’D)
This shoe -- the Mary Lou -- is
the one that really put me on the
map. It’s a black patent leather
variation of the Mary Jane, but--

SPLAT! A half-eaten grapefruit lands at Steve’s feet.
In a flash, Jordan rushes over, grabs the mic--
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 68.

JORDAN
All right, let's hear it for Steve
Madden and the wonderful Mary Lou!

Huge applause, with stomping feet; howling, etc.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Okay, now that you got that out
of your system, I want you to know
why Steve is so completely off the
fucking wall... It’s because this
man is a creative genius. Steve's
power, his gift -- is that he
creates trends. Artists like
Steve come along once a century!
Elvis! Andy Warhol! Giorgio
Armani! Who knows how high this
stock could go? The 20s? The
50s? The 80s?

Applause; war whoops. Jordan motions for quiet.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
I want everybody to look down.
See that little black box in front
of you? It's called a telephone.
Now I'm gonna let you in on a
little secret about this
telephone -- it won't dial itself!
That’s right -- until you take
some action, it's nothing more
than a worthless hunk of plastic,
like a loaded M16 without a
trained Marine to pull the
trigger. And in the case of the
telephone, it's the action of you,
a highly trained Strattonite, a
killer who will not take no for an
answer! A person who will not
hang up the phone until his client
either buys or fucking dies!

The Brokers go crazy. Jordan looks around.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
I don't care if you graduated from
Harvard or Bumfuck University or
never got past fourth fucking
grade! That phone is the great
equalizer!
(pause; looks around)
There is no nobility in poverty.
I've been rich, and I've been poor
and I choose rich every time.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 69.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
At least as a rich man, when I
have to face my problems, I show
up in the back of a limo wearing a
$2000 suit and $40,000 gold watch!

Jordan takes off his GOLD WATCH, flings it to the Crowd.
Brokers go nuts, fighting over it like a home-run ball.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
And if anyone here thinks I'm
crazy, get the fuck out and get a
job at McDonald’s, because that's
where you fucking belong! But
before you depart this room full
of winners, I want you to take a
good look at the person next to
you, because one day in the not-so-
distant future, you'll be sitting
at a red light in your beat-up old
Pinto, and that person’s gonna
pull up in a brand new Porsche,
with their gorgeous young wife at
their side. And who will you be
next to? Some ugly beast with
three days of razor-stubble in a
sleeveless moo-moo, crammed in
next to you with a carload of
groceries from the fucking Price
Club!

He scans the Brokers; they’re on the edge of their seats.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
So you listen to me and listen
carefully. Are you behind on your
credit card bills? Good. Pick up
the phone and start dialing. Is
your landlord threatening to evict
you? Good. Pick up the phone and
start dialing. Does your
girlfriend think you're a fucking
loser? Pick up the phone and
start fucking dialing! I want
you to deal with your problems by
becoming rich! I want you to go
out and spend money! Leverage
yourself, back yourself into a
corner, let the consequences of
failure become so fucking
unthinkable that you'll have no
choice but to do whatever it takes
to win!

The Brokers go absolutely APESHIT.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 70.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
You have an obligation here,
people! To your clients! To this
firm! An obligation to yourself,
godammit! You ram Steve Madden
stock down your clients’ throats
and make them choke on it till
they buy 20,000 shares! Be
aggressive! Be ferocious! Be
telephone fucking terrorists!!

Before Jordan is even finished, the Brokers GO BERSERK,
some already dialing their phones.

JORDAN (V.O.) (CONT’D)
At 1 p.m. we opened the stock for
sale at $4.50 a share. By 1:03
it was over eighteen dollars.

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In the chaotic bullpen of Stratton Oakmont, Steve Madden struggles to present his shoe line amidst heckling brokers. Jordan Belfort intervenes, transforming the hostile atmosphere into one of fervent enthusiasm as he motivates the brokers to aggressively sell Madden's stock. The scene shifts from mockery to excitement, culminating in brokers eagerly dialing clients to push the stock, leading to a surge in its price.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Powerful motivational speech
Effective portrayal of high-pressure environment

Weaknesses

Some crude humor may not appeal to all audiences

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic energy of the Stratton Oakmont bullpen, showcasing the aggressive and competitive nature of the stockbrokers. However, the dialogue for Steve Madden feels somewhat weak and lacks the charisma needed to engage the audience, especially when contrasted with Jordan's powerful presence. This could be an opportunity to give Madden a more compelling introduction that highlights his passion and vision for his brand.
Jordan's motivational speech is a strong centerpiece of the scene, but it risks becoming overly repetitive in its themes of aggression and wealth. While this aligns with his character, varying the language and incorporating more vivid imagery could enhance the impact of his message. The use of metaphors or anecdotes could make his points more relatable and memorable.
The heckling from the brokers adds a layer of humor and chaos, but it could be more strategically placed to build tension. For instance, instead of random insults, the brokers could echo Jordan's earlier statements, creating a sense of camaraderie and shared purpose that he later subverts with his more extreme rhetoric.
The transition from Steve Madden's nervousness to Jordan's commanding presence is effective, but it could benefit from a clearer visual cue or moment of realization for Madden. Perhaps a close-up shot of Madden's face as he looks to Jordan for support could emphasize his vulnerability and the stakes of the moment.
The scene's pacing is generally good, but it could be tightened in places. For example, some of the interruptions during Madden's speech could be trimmed or restructured to maintain momentum and keep the audience engaged. The focus should remain on the escalating energy of the brokers as they respond to Jordan's rallying cry.

Suggestions

Enhance Steve Madden's introduction by giving him a more dynamic and engaging backstory that reflects his passion for the shoe industry, possibly through a brief anecdote or a more confident delivery.
Incorporate more varied language and imagery in Jordan's speech to avoid repetition and make his points more impactful. Consider using metaphors or personal stories to illustrate his ideas.
Strategically place the brokers' heckling to build tension and create a sense of camaraderie before Jordan's speech, allowing for a more dramatic shift in tone when he takes over.
Add a visual cue or moment of realization for Madden that highlights his vulnerability and the pressure of the situation, such as a close-up shot of his face looking to Jordan for reassurance.
Tighten the pacing by trimming unnecessary interruptions during Madden's speech, ensuring that the focus remains on the escalating energy and excitement of the brokers as they respond to Jordan's call to action.

Scene 24 - High Stakes and Legal Shadows

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 7

130A INT. FBI OFFICES - MANHATTAN - DAY 130A

Agent Denham exits the elevator, arriving for work. He
strides between cubicles, briefcase in hand. He enters --

130B INT. AGENT DENHAM’S OFFICE - DAY 130B

-- where pinned up on one wall is a massive chart on
Stratton’s operations: pictures of Jordan, Donnie and
others, a hierarchy, a history, an investigation...

131 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - BULLPEN - LATER (FEB ‘95) 131

Total sales frenzy. The CAMERA PANS the 300 Brokers, who
work the phones like mad.

SEA OTTER YOUNG BROKER
--the hottest new issue on --up two dollars while I’m
Wall Street! talking to you!

And as we continue PANNING the room...

JORDAN (V.O.)
Of course I couldn’t have done
this without help. I’d leaked the
word on Wall Street that Stratton
was a buyer up until twenty. So
not only were we pushing Madden,
all the big firms were too.

We continue PANNING the frenzied Brokers...
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 71.

JORDAN (V.O.)
As long as they knew I’d buy the
shares back at the top of the
market, they’d drive the price
up as high as I fucking wanted.

132 SCENES 132 - 133 OMITTED 132

134 INT. JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY (FEB ‘95) 134

Donnie pours champagne nearby, oblivious to Jordan, who
sits at his desk, speaking directly to camera:

JORDAN
Of the two million shares being
offered for sale, a million
belonged to me, held in phony
accounts by my ratholes. Once the
price hit the high teens, I--

Jordan abruptly stops. A beat, then:

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Like I said before, who gives a
shit? As always, the point is
this--

BACK TO SCENE -- Donnie hands Jordan a glass of Dom.

DONNIE
22 million in three fucking hours!

They toast, then each pop ludes, which they wash down
with champagne. A quick knock; Janet pops her head in.

JORDAN
Janet, baby. Drink.

JANET
Call for you. Barry Kleinman from
Future Video?

JORDAN
Who?

JANET
He filmed your wedding. He says
it’s urgent.

Curious, Jordan leans over, hits the speaker phone:

JORDAN
Barry?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 72.

135 INT. FUTURE VIDEO - DAY (FEB ‘95) 135

Barry Kleinman sits at his desk, talking on the phone.

BARRY KLEINMAN
Jordan, hey. Listen, I got a
subpoena. The FBI wants a copy
of your wedding video.

On Jordan. Uh-oh.

JORDAN (V.O.)
The F-B-fucking-I?

135A INT. FIRING RANGE - DAY 135A

Wearing goggles and protective headphones, square-jawed
FBI Agent Patrick Denham takes target practice.

BO DIETL (V.O.)
Name’s Denham, he’s an agent in
the New York office.

JORDAN (V.O.)
What’s his problem?

BO DIETL (V.O.)
He’s a boy scout, thinks you’re
Gordon Gekko.

135B EXT. RAO’S - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING (MAR ‘95) 135B
*

136 INT. RAO’S RESTAURANT - NIGHT (MAR ‘95) 136

The East Harlem institution. Jordan sits across a table
over pasta with private investigator BO DIETL, 40s.

JORDAN
But my goddamn wedding video?

BO DIETL
Got your whole inner circle in one
place, faces and names. He’s
hoping it rattles you, or maybe
your wife, so that she starts
nagging you to turn witness.

JORDAN
(that’s laughable)
What? He wants me to rat on
myself?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 73.

BO DIETL
(shrugs)
Good news is I made some calls,
DEA, Justice? No one but him even
knows who you are.

JORDAN
Can you bug him or something, tap
his phone?

BO DIETL
Jordan, relax. First off, you
don’t fuck with these guys, not
that way. Secondly, I got a P.I.
license, you know?

JORDAN
Maybe I should call him, see what
he wants.

BO DIETL
No! Anybody does that should be
your lawyer. What you do is eat
your dinner, drink your drink, and
forget about it. Cuz as far as I
hear he doesn’t have shit.

Jordan nods, wheels turning, pretending to do as told.

136A SCENE 136A OMITTED 136A
*

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Thriller"]

Summary Agent Denham begins an investigation into Stratton Oakmont as Jordan narrates his market manipulation tactics amidst a celebratory atmosphere with Donnie. The mood shifts when Barry Kleinman alerts Jordan about the FBI's subpoena for his wedding video, raising alarms about the investigation. Over dinner with private investigator Bo Dietl, Jordan grapples with the potential consequences of the FBI's interest, leaving a tense uncertainty in the air.

Strengths

Intense conflict
Suspenseful tone
Realistic dialogue

Weaknesses

Limited character development in this specific scene

Critique

The scene effectively captures the frenetic energy of the brokerage environment, contrasting it with the calm and calculated demeanor of Agent Denham. This juxtaposition highlights the chaotic nature of Stratton Oakmont's operations and the impending threat from law enforcement, creating a palpable tension.
Jordan's voiceover provides insight into his manipulative strategies, which is a strong narrative device. However, it could benefit from more emotional depth. While we understand his actions, exploring the psychological implications of his manipulation could enhance the audience's connection to his character.
The transition between the FBI office and the Stratton Oakmont bullpen is smooth, but the pacing could be tightened. The scene feels slightly disjointed as it shifts from Denham's office to the brokers' frenzy. A more seamless integration of these two worlds could enhance the flow.
The dialogue is sharp and reflects the characters' personalities well, particularly Jordan's bravado and Denham's professionalism. However, some lines could be more concise to maintain the scene's momentum. For instance, Jordan's reaction to the subpoena could be more visceral, showcasing his panic rather than just a casual 'uh-oh.'
The introduction of Barry Kleinman serves as a crucial plot point, but his character feels underdeveloped. Providing a brief backstory or context for his relationship with Jordan could add weight to the urgency of the subpoena and enhance the stakes.

Suggestions

Consider adding a moment where Denham reflects on the gravity of the investigation, perhaps through a brief internal monologue or conversation with a colleague. This could deepen the audience's understanding of his character and the stakes involved.
Incorporate more visual elements that emphasize the contrast between the FBI's methodical approach and the chaotic energy of the brokers. For example, using close-ups of Denham's focused expressions against wide shots of the bustling bullpen could visually reinforce this theme.
Enhance the emotional stakes by showing Jordan's reaction to the subpoena in a more dramatic way. Perhaps include a moment where he momentarily loses his composure, revealing the cracks in his confident facade.
Explore the dynamics between Jordan and Donnie further. Their camaraderie is evident, but adding a moment of tension or disagreement could foreshadow future conflicts and deepen their relationship.
Consider tightening the dialogue in certain areas to maintain a brisk pace. For example, streamline Jordan's voiceover to focus on the most impactful aspects of his manipulation, allowing the audience to grasp the gravity of his actions without excessive exposition.

Scene 25 - The Yacht Encounter

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 9
Plot: 8
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 9

137 EXT. BATTERY PARK MARINA - DAY (LATE SPRING ‘95) 137

As Agent Denham steps into frame, another FED, AGENT *
HUGHES, beside him, both G-man stoic in impenetrably dark *
glasses --

JORDAN (O.S.)
Patrick? Hey! C’mon aboard!

They look up. On the yacht Naomi, Jordan stands waving,
drinking wine with two Blue Chip HOOKERS in bikinis.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Plank’s right down there.

Denham shares a look with his cohort: it’s almost a joke,
this display of wealth before a federal agent. Moments
later, they step aboard.

AGENT DENHAM
Mr. Belfort, I’m Agent Denham.
This is Agent Hughes.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 74.

JORDAN
Heya! This is Nicole and,
um...Heidi. Girls, Patrick and...?

AGENT DENHAM
Agents Denham and Hughes. Your
message said you wanted to speak
privately.

JORDAN
It did. I do.
(off Denham’s stare)
Oh, they’re just friends.
(to the girls)
Give us a minute, okay?

The Hookers head below deck. Jordan shoots Denham a wink--
check out that ass!

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Can I get a glass? Got wine open
or any kinda booze. Shrimp and
lobster’re over there if you’re
hungry.

AGENT DENHAM
Bureau forbids us from drinking at
sea.

Jordan surprised: the guy has a sense of humor.

JORDAN
I have something for you, I just
gotta find it. Have a seat, will
ya? Ever been on one of these
before?

As Jordan rifles through some papers, Denham’s eyes scan
the deck, casually cataloguing everything.

AGENT DENHAM
A boat? Learned to sail when I was
six.

JORDAN
I mean, one like this. Just had
her extended to put a chopper on
the back.

Jordan points out the Bell-Jet helicopter.

AGENT DENHAM
Never been on a boat with a second
mode of transportation on top of
it.

Jordan finds the file he’s been looking for, offers it.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 75.

AGENT DENHAM (CONT’D)
(before he’ll accept)
What is this?

JORDAN
Names and addresses of every guest
at my wedding. Friends, clients. I
even threw in the seating chart.
Heard that’s why you wanted the
video, figured this’d expedite
whatever it is you’re doing.
(Denham looks: it’s
indeed a guest list
from the wedding)
I wanted to show you I’ve got
nothing to hide. I know you’re
investigating Stratton but for the
life of me I can’t figure out why.
Sure, my company is unorthodox;
what brokerage isn’t? Maybe we’re
a little louder than most but we
don’t do anything illegal. Talk to
the SEC, they’ll tell you, they
checked us out up and down.

AGENT DENHAM
The SEC’s actually a civil
regulatory agency. We pursue
criminal activity.

JORDAN
That’s what I’m saying. You guys
take on real crime. Which is why
I’m so curious: what do you think
we did?

The reason Jordan asked him here, Denham realizes.

AGENT DENHAM
I can’t discuss ongoing
investigations.

JORDAN
I understand.

AGENT DENHAM
Though, to be frank, this case
kinda got dumped on my desk. Some
higher-up felt your shop needed
looking into after all that press,
fell on me to do the looking.

JORDAN
You know who you should be looking
at? Goldman, Lehman Brothers,
Merrill.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 76.
JORDAN (CONT'D)
What those guys’re up to with
collateralized debt obligations?
This internet stock bullshit?
C’mon. If you want, I’ll walk you
through exactly --

AGENT DENHAM
-- that’d be great. And if there’s
anything you can give me just to
close out your file, get it off my
desk--

JORDAN
-- sure, get you back to the real
criminals --

AGENT DENHAM
-- then we could both profit from
this little sit-down.

Jordan sizes him up: what did Denham mean by “profit”?

JORDAN
You sure you don’t want anything
to drink? Water for your pal?
(Denham demurs)
Rumor is your started out in
finance. Even got your broker’s
license before you joined the
bureau.

AGENT DENHAM
Who told you that?

JORDAN
(searches his memory)
Jeez, who was it...?
(comes up short)
Ever regret it? Giving up the
money-crazed, pin-striped life?
Ever think where you’d be if you’d
stuck with it?

AGENT DENHAM
When I’m riding the subway home,
sweating my balls off, in a suit
I’ve worn three days, sure.

JORDAN
Whattaya pull in working at the
bureau, if you don’t mind me
asking. 50-60K a year?

AGENT DENHAM
Just about. We get a free handgun
out of it, though, that doesn’t
suck.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 77.

JORDAN
S’crazy, the world we live in, the
jobs with real value, the ones we
should appreciate -- firefighters,
teachers, FBI agents -- those are
the ones we pay the least.

AGENT DENHAM
Way of the world.

JORDAN
That’s one thing I like about what
I do, the opportunity to make that
right. Take this kid we had
interning last year. Didn’t want
to be a broker, wanted to be an
environmental scientist or
something, he had a student loan
debts up to his eyeballs. Anyway,
his mom gets sick, all they can
afford is third-rate care. Some of
us got together, made an
investment on his behalf and --
boom -- overnight everything
changes, she’s seeing the best
doctors in the country. Sadly,
didn’t work out, she passed but
still: having the power to do that
makes all the other bullshit worth
while.
(as Denham considers
that)
See, it’s all about proper
guidance, Pat. Knowing someone
with the right relationships,
who’s discreet. I can change a
life almost every day.

They measure each other.

AGENT DENHAM
How much that intern make off your
deal?

JORDAN
North of half a million.

Denham summons Agent Hughes over. To Jordan:

AGENT DENHAM
Can you say that again, what you
told me?
(Jordan declines with
a smile; to Agent
Hughes)
I believe Mr. Belfort just tried
to bribe a federal officer.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 78.

JORDAN
What? I was making conversation.

AGENT DENHAM
Sounds like that to me, Jordan.

JORDAN
...no, no, no...

AGENT DENHAM
...sounded like that...

JORDAN
...no, to constitute a bribe,
don’t I have to make an explicit
offer of money for services? With
an exact dollar figure attached?
All I said was “north” of half a
million. According to the U.S.
Criminal Code, that dog won’t
hunt, Pat.
(then)
Heard you were a straight arrow.
That you wouldn’t bend the rules
other agents might. He was right.

AGENT DENHAM
You did a background check on me?

JORDAN
Figured you were looking into me,
was only fair. Plus you sail on a
yacht fit for a Bond villain,
sometimes you gotta act the part.

AGENT DENHAM
This is why you invited me down to
your yacht? With a couple hookers
on it --

JORDAN
-- those are friends --

AGENT DENHAM
-- to get a sense of the guy who
was coming after you?

Jordan puts his hands up: “you got me.”

JORDAN
Thanks for coming down. Now get
off my boat.

AGENT DENHAM
You know, most of the Wall Street
jackasses I bust, they were born
to the life.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 79.
AGENT DENHAM (CONT'D)
Their father was a douchebag
before them, and his father before
that. But you, you got this way
all on your own. Good for you,
Jordan.
(as he starts to go)
Thank you for having us. I’m
absolutely certain we’ll see each
other again.
(before he does)
You know, this is about the nicest
boat I’ve ever been on. Just think
what a hero I’ll be in the office
when the bureau seizes it.

Jordan watches him go, temper flaring: he can’t let
Denham get the final word. He calls after them:

JORDAN
Hey, Denham! I’m gonna eat a claw
of lobster now as I get my cock
sucked by Heidi down below. You
have a super ride home on the
subway thinking about that! *

As he watches them pull away, seething --

JORDAN (V.O.)
He was a numbers guy, a follow-the-
fucking-money’er. He wasn’t gonna
come at me through my guys,
looking for a weak link and a
quick kill. He was gonna come at
me like an accountant would, the
way Ness got Capone, through my
books. Which meant? It was ass-
covering time.

Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Agent Denham and Agent Hughes confront Jordan Belfort on his luxurious yacht, where Jordan attempts to charm Denham while downplaying the investigation into his business. The tension escalates as Denham probes for evidence of wrongdoing, recognizing Jordan's manipulative tactics. The scene ends with Denham leaving, suspicious of Jordan's intentions, while Jordan reacts with frustration, aware that the investigation will be thorough.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Tension-filled confrontation
Complex character dynamics
Engaging plot progression

Weaknesses

Limited character development in this specific scene

Critique

The scene effectively captures the tension between Jordan and Agent Denham, showcasing Jordan's attempts to manipulate the situation while Denham remains stoic and professional. However, the dialogue can feel a bit too on-the-nose at times, particularly when Jordan is trying to downplay his illegal activities. This could be more subtly implied through subtext rather than explicitly stated.
Jordan's character is consistent with his established persona as a brash and arrogant businessman, but the introduction of humor in Denham's character adds an interesting dynamic. However, the humor sometimes undermines the seriousness of the investigation, which could be better balanced to maintain tension.
The pacing of the scene is generally good, but there are moments where the dialogue drags, particularly during the back-and-forth about Denham's past and salary. This could be tightened to keep the momentum going and maintain the audience's engagement.
The visual elements of the yacht and the hookers serve to reinforce Jordan's wealth and hedonistic lifestyle, but they also risk overshadowing the main conflict of the scene. The focus should remain on the conversation and the stakes involved rather than the distractions of the setting.
The ending of the scene, where Jordan makes a crude remark to Denham, feels somewhat forced and detracts from the tension built throughout the conversation. It could be more impactful if Jordan's final words were more clever or subtle, leaving Denham with a lingering sense of unease rather than a straightforward insult.

Suggestions

Consider tightening the dialogue to eliminate any unnecessary exposition, allowing the subtext to convey the stakes and tension more effectively.
Balance the humor in Denham's character with the seriousness of the investigation to maintain a consistent tone throughout the scene.
Focus on the main conflict and keep the visual distractions to a minimum, ensuring that the audience remains engaged with the dialogue and character dynamics.
Revise Jordan's final remark to Denham to be more clever or ambiguous, enhancing the tension rather than providing a straightforward insult.
Explore the use of body language and visual cues to convey the power dynamics between Jordan and Denham, allowing the audience to feel the tension without relying solely on dialogue.

Scene 26 - Chaos in Transit

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

138 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY (SUMMER ‘95) 138

As Naomi looks on, 5 months pregnant, Jordan packs a
suitcase.

NAOMI
Switzerland? What the fuck is in
Switzerland?

JORDAN
Swiss cheese, Naomi, what do you
fucking think?

139 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY *139
(SUMMER ‘95)

Jordan sits talking with Rugrat and Donnie.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 80.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Rugrat set up a meeting with a
Swiss Banker he knew from law
school who could launder our
money, but it wasn’t till noon
the next day.

Jordan glances at his watch, washes down a few ludes.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I knew if I timed my lude intake
right, I’d sleep through the
entire overnight flight.

140 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - BULLPEN - DAY (SUMMER ‘95) 140

Jordan stands before the Bullpen talking to his Brokers.

JORDAN (V.O.)
At four p.m. I popped a few ludes,
which started kicking in by the
time I finished our sales meeting.
This was the tingle phase.

141 INT. CANASTEL’S - NIGHT (SUMMER ‘95) 141

Over dinner, a visibly high Jordan ravenously digs into
his food as Donnie and four Blue Chip Hookers look on.

JORDAN (V.O.)
By dinner I popped a few more on
top of some cocktails and an
valium or two. The slur phase.

142 INT. DANCE CLUB - NIGHT (SUMMER ‘95) 142

On the crowded dance floor, Jordan gets knocked around
like a marionette, saliva strung from his mouth.

JORDAN (V.O.)
By eight thirty I’d done a few
more and pretty much lost my motor
skills. This was the drool phase.

143 INT. HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT (SUMMER ‘95) 143

Jordan is barely conscious as a Hooker rides him.

JORDAN (V.O.)
And by ten I didn’t know who or
what I was doing -- the amnesia
phase. We boarded the plane just
before midnight.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 81.

144 INT. ZURICH AIRLINES - FIRST CLASS - NIGHT (SUMMER ‘95) *144

Jordan boards, slurring, drooling, completely wasted.

JORDAN
(to a Stewardess)
Sweetheart! Look at you!

And as he hugs her, then stumbles toward his seat...

145 INT. ZURICH AIRLINES - FIRST CLASS - DAY (SUMMER ‘95) *145

Quiet; morning sunlight bleeds through the window.
Jordan’s eyes flicker open. He yawns, looks around,
tries to get up; he can’t move. He looks down, sees
six seat belts restraining his arms and legs. Jordan
looks over at Donnie, mouth agape, asleep next to him.

JORDAN
Donnie. Donnie, wake up.

DONNIE
Nuuhh?

JORDAN
Untie me, shitbag. You think this
is funny?

DONNIE
I didn’t tie you, the captain did.
He almost tasered you.

JORDAN
Why?

146 FLASHBACK -- 146

As PASSENGERS scream, Jordan wildly humps a STEWARDESS,
the CAPTAIN struggling to restrain him.

JORDAN (V.O.)
This was fucking great. I hadn’t
laundered a dime yet and already
I was under arrest.

147 INT. ZURICH AIRLINES - FIRST CLASS - DAY (SUMMER ‘95) *147

A pensive Jordan sits, mind racing.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Worse yet was the plastic baggie
of ludes that Donnie’d stuffed up
his ass.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 82.

Jordan trades looks with Donnie, who shifts
uncomfortably.

JORDAN (V.O.)
But before he could even get a
hemorrhoid--

147A INT. GENEVA AIRPORT - CUSTOMS OFFICE - DAY 147A
*

Jordan sits with two CUSTOMS OFFICERS. *

JORDAN (V.O.) *
--the whole thing was quashed by *
our friend the Swiss banker. Which *
was lucky for me, since so far I’d *
been able to keep Agent Fuckface *
unaware of the trip. *

Another CUSTOMS OFFICER enters, whispers something to the *
others. They shake Jordan’s hand and he leaves. *

148 EXT. GENEVA - SHOPPING DISTRICT - DAY (SUMMER ‘95) 148

A limo pulls up at an office building. Jordan emerges
with Rugrat and Donnie. *

149 INT. BANQUE REAL DE GENEVE - LOBBY - DAY (SUMMER ‘95) 149

JEAN-JACQUES SAUREL greets them. 30s, suave. The lobby is
ultra-modernist.

SAUREL
Jordan Belfort! At last!
Nicholas has told me so much.

RUGRAT
Jordan, Jean-Jacques Saurel.

JORDAN
Nice to make your acquaintance.
This is some lobby you got.

SAUREL
Ah, yes. We gave our designer an
unlimited budget and he exceeded
it. Come! You must tell me all
about your adventure with the
stewardess over coffee!

They disappear upstairs.

150 SCENE 150 OMITTED 150
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 83.

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Naomi confronts Jordan about his impending trip to Switzerland while she is five months pregnant, revealing the strain in their relationship. As Jordan prepares for the trip, his reckless drug use escalates, leading to a chaotic scene on a plane where he is temporarily restrained. Despite the turmoil, they manage to avoid serious consequences thanks to the intervention of a Swiss banker, Jean-Jacques Saurel, culminating in their arrival at a luxurious bank in Geneva for a crucial meeting.

Strengths

Humorous dialogue
Engaging plot progression
Well-developed characters

Weaknesses

Depiction of drug abuse may be triggering for some audiences

Critique

The scene effectively captures Jordan's reckless lifestyle and the consequences of his drug use, showcasing the chaotic nature of his character. However, the transition from Naomi's confrontation to Jordan's drug-fueled escapades feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow and maintain the audience's engagement.
The use of voiceover is a strong narrative device that provides insight into Jordan's mindset and the progression of his drug use. However, the voiceover could benefit from more emotional depth, reflecting not just the physical effects of the drugs but also the psychological toll they take on him and his relationships.
The humor in the scene, particularly in Jordan's interactions and the absurdity of his situation, is well-executed. However, it risks overshadowing the gravity of the consequences he faces. Balancing the humor with moments of genuine tension or reflection could create a more nuanced portrayal of his character.
The pacing of the scene is uneven, particularly in the transition between the various phases of Jordan's drug use. While the 'phases' are a clever way to illustrate his decline, they could be more tightly woven into the narrative to avoid feeling disjointed. Each phase could be linked with a specific consequence or realization that adds to the overall arc.
The dialogue, particularly between Jordan and Donnie, captures their camaraderie and the absurdity of their situation. However, it could be enhanced by incorporating more subtext, revealing deeper layers of their friendship and the underlying tensions that come with their lifestyle choices.

Suggestions

Consider adding a brief moment of reflection from Naomi before she confronts Jordan, which could provide insight into her emotional state and heighten the tension of the confrontation.
Incorporate more visual storytelling elements to illustrate the chaos of Jordan's drug use, such as quick cuts or montages that juxtapose his high-energy moments with the consequences that follow.
Explore the emotional ramifications of Jordan's actions on his relationship with Naomi. This could be done through flashbacks or visual cues that highlight their past connection, making the current confrontation more impactful.
Tighten the pacing by ensuring that each phase of Jordan's drug use is linked to a specific narrative beat or consequence, creating a clearer cause-and-effect relationship that enhances the overall story arc.
Enhance the dialogue between Jordan and Donnie by including moments of vulnerability or doubt, which could add depth to their characters and make their reckless behavior more relatable.

Scene 27 - Secrets and Strategies in Saurel's Office

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 9

151 INT. BANQUE REAL DE GENEVE - SAUREL’S OFFICE - DAY 151

Jordan, Rugrat and Donnie drink coffee with Saurel and
one other SWISS BANKER. It’s an impressive office, with *
an enormous fish tank.

DONNIE
We have a joke in America.
“Heaven is a place where the
police are Brits, the chefs are
Italian, the car mechanics are
German, the prostitutes are French
and the bankers are Swiss.” I
never got it ‘til now -- look at
those fucking fish! Come here,
little guy...

SAUREL
Yes, we have the same joke here.
Only sometimes the English are
chauffeurs and the chefs are
French. The Germans, alas, are
always mechanics; no one wants to
grant them more authority than
that.

Polite laughter. Jordan, not as impressed by the fish,
cuts straight to the point:

JORDAN
I'm curious about your bank
secrecy laws.

SAUREL
Excusez-moi, Jordan, Swiss custom
requires ten minutes of idle chit-
chat before business can be
discussed.
(a smile)
Of course, let’s get “down to it.”
What would you like to know?

JORDAN
Under what circumstances would you
be obligated to cooperate with an
FBI or U.S. Justice Department
investigation?

SAUREL
Ca depend.

JORDAN
Ca depend? Ca depend on what?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 84.

SAUREL
Whether America plans to invade
Switzerland in the coming months.

RUGRAT
Want me to see if tanks are
rolling down the Rue de la Croix?

More chuckles. Through Jordan’s forced smile:

JORDAN (V.O.)
What I’m asking, you Swiss dick,
is are you going to fuck me over.

SAUREL (V.O.)
I understand perfectly, you
American shitheel.

Saurel smiles.

SAUREL
The only way the Banque Real de
Geneve would cooperate with a
foreign legal body is if the crime
being pursued also happened to be
a crime in Switzerland. But there
are very few Swiss laws pertaining
to your “rumored” improprieties.
Which is why Mr. Azoff’s joke is
most appropriate: from a financial
standpoint you are now in heaven,
and we welcome you. If the U.S.
Justice Department or FBI or SEC
or IRS sent us a subpoena, it
would become papier-toillette. We
would wipe our ass with it.

Everyone’s impressed. Except Jordan.

JORDAN
Unless it was an investigation
into stock fraud -- which is a
crime in Switzerland. Then you’d
have to cooperate.

SAUREL
(now he’s impressed)
Yes, we would. Assuming the
account is under your name.
However, if it were in the name of
a nominee of yours...

They take each other in.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 85.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Was that yodeling I just heard or
did you just say what I thought
you said?

SAUREL (V.O.)
Yes! Yes!

As the meeting wraps up with handshakes, Jordan’s V.O.
overwhelms Saurel’s V.O..

JORDAN (V.O.)
He was telling me to use a
rathole. Problem was: sneaking a
U.S. rathole into Switzerland was
a chance I couldn’t take. What I
needed was somebody with a
European passport.

152 SCENES 152 - 153 OMITTED 152

154 EXT. LONDON FLAT - DAY (SUMMER ‘95) 154

Naomi’s Aunt Emma answers the door.

AUNT EMMA
Jordan?

JORDAN
(big smile, sweating)
Surprise.

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Thriller"]

Summary In Saurel's opulent office, Jordan, Donnie, Rugrat, and a Swiss banker engage in a light-hearted conversation over coffee. Donnie's joke about national stereotypes lightens the mood, but Jordan's serious inquiries about the bank's cooperation with U.S. investigations reveal the complexities of Swiss banking laws. Saurel explains that cooperation only occurs if the crime is also recognized in Switzerland, leading to a discussion about stock fraud. The scene concludes with Jordan realizing he needs to use a 'rathole' to protect his assets, acknowledging the associated risks.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Tension-filled negotiation
Humorous moments

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Lack of character development

Critique

The scene effectively captures the tension between Jordan's desire for information and the Swiss banker's playful demeanor. However, the humor, while engaging, can sometimes detract from the gravity of the situation. The stakes of Jordan's inquiry about bank secrecy laws are significant, and the scene could benefit from a more serious undertone to emphasize the risks involved in his dealings.
The dialogue is sharp and witty, particularly Donnie's joke and Saurel's responses. However, the pacing feels uneven at times. The initial banter is entertaining but may lead to a loss of focus on the main objective of the meeting. Streamlining the dialogue to maintain tension and urgency could enhance the scene's impact.
Jordan's voiceover provides insight into his thoughts, which is a strong narrative device. However, the juxtaposition of his internal monologue with the external dialogue can be confusing. Clarifying the transitions between his thoughts and the spoken dialogue would help the audience follow the narrative more smoothly.
The visual elements, such as the impressive office and the fish tank, set a luxurious tone that contrasts with the underlying tension of the conversation. However, the scene could benefit from more descriptive imagery that highlights the opulence of the setting while also reflecting Jordan's internal conflict and desperation.
The ending of the scene, where Jordan realizes he needs a European passport for his plans, is a strong conclusion. However, it could be more impactful if it included a moment of reflection or a visual cue that signifies the weight of this realization, perhaps through a close-up on Jordan's face or a shift in the atmosphere.

Suggestions

Consider tightening the dialogue to maintain focus on the stakes of the meeting. While humor is important, it should not overshadow the urgency of Jordan's inquiries.
Enhance the contrast between the light-hearted banter and the serious implications of the conversation. This could be achieved by incorporating more subtle tension in the characters' body language and expressions.
Clarify the transitions between Jordan's voiceover and the spoken dialogue to ensure the audience can easily follow the narrative without confusion.
Add more descriptive imagery that reflects both the opulence of the bank and Jordan's internal conflict, perhaps by describing the fish tank in a way that symbolizes his entrapment in a luxurious but dangerous world.
Incorporate a visual cue or moment of reflection at the end of the scene to emphasize the weight of Jordan's realization about needing a European passport, enhancing the dramatic impact of the conclusion.

Scene 28 - Flirtation and Illicit Plans

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

155 EXT. HYDE PARK - DAY (SUMMER ‘95) 155

Amid towering trees and horse trails, a noticeably
twitchy Jordan walks arm-in-arm with Aunt Emma.

AUNT EMMA
So tell me about this plan of
yours.

JORDAN
I’d like us to go to Switzerland
tomorrow so you can open an
account. I’ll fund it, and I’ll
pay you really well for your
trouble.

AUNT EMMA
Oh my.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 86.

JORDAN
Next month maybe you can fly to
New York and we can start moving
the cash.

AUNT EMMA
Moving the cash.
(smiles)
I feel like a character in an
Ian Fleming novel. It’s all quite
racy, isn’t it?

JORDAN
It is, and it’s illegal too. Of
course if you ever got in trouble,
I’d come forward in two seconds,
say I duped you, but even still.

AUNT EMMA
Risk is what keeps us young, isn’t
it darling?

JORDAN
I like that attitude. Promise me *
you’ll spend at least ten thousand
pounds per month out of the
account, okay?

AUNT EMMA
(chuckles)
I wouldn't even know how. I
really do have everything I need.

JORDAN
But I bet you don't have
everything you want. How about a
bigger apartment so your grandkids
can sleep over?

Aunt Emma notices that Jordan is sweating, fidgety. He’s
jonesing.

AUNT EMMA
Shall we sit?

JORDAN
Sure, that’d be great.

They sit on a nearby bench. After a while:

AUNT EMMA
Sometimes I wonder if you let
money get the best of you, dear.
(beat)
Among other substances.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 87.

JORDAN
It’s that obvious, huh?

AUNT EMMA
It’s the height of summer and *
you’ve got the chills. *

JORDAN
I’m a drug addict, Emma. Coke, *
pills, you name it, whatever you *
got. Sex addict too. *

AUNT EMMA
(laughs)
Well there are worse things to be
addicted to than sex.

JORDAN
(chuckles; then)
Why did I just tell you that? *

AUNT EMMA
(playful)
Because I’m very easy to talk to.

Jordan looks at her. A few beats, then:

JORDAN
As a matter of fact you are. My *
job, you know, it’s tough. I mean *
I’m not complaining, it’s just the
stress. All these people depending *
on me. Millions of dollars at *
stake every day. I sometimes feel *
I’ve bitten off more than I can *
chew. *

AUNT EMMA
You’re a man with large appetites.

Jordan looks at her and smiles:

JORDAN (V.O.)
Is she fucking hitting on me?

JORDAN
I agree. I put it on myself. It’s *
hard to control the anxiety, you *
know? It’s hard to learn to relax. *

AUNT EMMA
To release the tension.

JORDAN (V.O.)
She is hitting on me! Holy shit!

Jordan leans in closer, casually slips an arm around her.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 88.

JORDAN
Exactly, to release the tension. *
Sometimes you gotta learn to do *
what comes natural in life, huh? *

Aunt Emma pulls back slightly.

AUNT EMMA (V.O.)
Is he fucking hitting on me?

He leans in even closer, kisses her, then: *

AUNT EMMA
Stability, dear. Family.
*

AUNT EMMA (CONT’D) *
You take care of my niece, my
love. And I’ll take care of
everything over here. *
(a beat) *
Ah, once upon a time... *

155A INT. BEACH HOUSE - BEDROOM - SOUTH HAMPTON - DAY 155A
(SUMMER ‘95)

Jordan fucks Naomi. There’s a curious thunk-thunk-thunk.

JORDAN (V.O.)
When I got home, I realized there
was no way Aunt Emma could smuggle
that much cash by herself. I
racked my brain for another person
with a foreign passport.

The bed’s covered with bundles of cash. Every thrust of
Jordan’s, another bundle plummets to the floor -- thunk.

156 SCENES 156 - 157 OMITTED 156

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Thriller"]

Summary In Hyde Park during the summer of 1995, Jordan and Aunt Emma engage in a playful yet tense conversation about opening a Swiss bank account for moving illicit cash. As Jordan reveals his struggles with drug and sex addictions, their dialogue takes a flirtatious turn, hinting at mutual attraction. The scene highlights Jordan's internal conflict and anxiety, culminating in his realization that he needs another accomplice for his plans, leaving their relationship dynamic unresolved.

Strengths

Tension-building
Character development
Emotional depth
Exploration of themes

Weaknesses

Potential for cliched dialogue
Risk of melodrama

Critique

The scene effectively captures the tension between Jordan's illicit activities and his attempts to maintain a facade of normalcy with Aunt Emma. The dialogue is sharp and reveals character motivations, particularly Jordan's desperation and Aunt Emma's playful yet cautious demeanor.
The juxtaposition of the serene setting of Hyde Park with the underlying chaos of Jordan's life creates a compelling contrast. However, the scene could benefit from more visual cues that emphasize Jordan's internal struggle, such as his physical state or the environment around them reflecting his anxiety.
The flirtation between Jordan and Aunt Emma adds an unexpected layer of complexity to their relationship, but it risks crossing into uncomfortable territory. The scene should tread carefully to maintain a balance between dark humor and the potential for inappropriate implications.
Jordan's self-awareness about his addictions is a strong moment, but it could be enhanced by showing more of his emotional vulnerability. This would deepen the audience's connection to his character and highlight the consequences of his lifestyle.
The transition from the conversation with Aunt Emma to the subsequent scene with Naomi is abrupt. While it serves to illustrate Jordan's chaotic life, a smoother transition could enhance the narrative flow and maintain audience engagement.

Suggestions

Incorporate more physical descriptions of Jordan's state to visually convey his anxiety and drug use, such as his fidgeting or sweating, to enhance the audience's understanding of his mental state.
Consider adding a moment where Aunt Emma expresses genuine concern for Jordan's well-being, which could create a more poignant contrast to the humor and flirtation, emphasizing the gravity of his situation.
Refine the flirtation between Jordan and Aunt Emma to ensure it remains playful without veering into discomfort. This could involve more subtlety in their exchanges, allowing the audience to interpret the tension without explicit implications.
Enhance the emotional stakes by including a moment where Jordan reflects on the potential consequences of involving Aunt Emma in his illegal activities, which could add depth to his character and the narrative.
Create a more seamless transition to the next scene by incorporating a visual or auditory cue that links the two moments, such as the sound of cash falling or a lingering shot of the park that fades into the chaos of the beach house.

Scene 29 - Cash Conflicts at the Beach House

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 9

158 INT. BEACH HOUSE - SOUTH HAMPTON - GUEST BEDROOM - DAY 158
(SUMMER ‘95)

With $20 mil in CASH on the bed, Jordan and a stoned
Donnie watch as Brad tapes stacks of cash to his wife
CHANTALLE, a bombshell in panties, bra and sneakers.

CHANTALLE
Bra-had, theese tape eez focking
steeky!

As Brad keeps taping her up:
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 89.

JORDAN (V.O.)
As a successful drug dealer, Brad
spent his winters in the South of
France, which is where he met his
wife Chantalle, a stripper of
Slovenian origin but born in, of
all places, Switzerland.

CHANTALLE
Take eet off, Bra-had! Eet erts!

BRAD
Shut up, bitch.

CHANTALLE
You beetch, you focking douche-a-
bag-a!

Donnie can’t help but start laughing at this.

DONNIE
Take eet off! Take eet off!

Brad seethes at this but keeps taping...

159 INT. BEACH HOUSE - SOUTH HAMPTON - BEDROOM - LATER 159
(SUMMER ‘95)

Chantalle is completely taped up, a cash-covered mummy.
Jordan looks on with Brad, Donnie and now Naomi. 90% of
the cash is still on the bed.

JORDAN
Well, this is fucked.

NAOMI
It’s gonna take her like fifty
trips.

BRAD
We’ll get her parents to tape up
too. They got Swiss passports.
Plus her brother and his wife.
Five people, six-seven trips?

JORDAN
How much’ll they want for it?

BRAD
I dunno, not much. Fuck, they’d
probably do it just for the miles.

DONNIE
What about my money?
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BRAD
What?

DONNIE
My money. I got a few mil of my
own I wanna move. I’ll call you,
you can come pick it up.

BRAD
(takes offense to
Donnie’s
presumption)
You’ll “call” me.

DONNIE
(what part don’t you
understand?)
And you can come “pick it up.”

Brad asks Jordan if they can speak in private.

MOMENTS LATER, IN PRIVATE: Jordan joins Brad.

JORDAN
What’s wrong?

BRAD
Don’t make me deal with this
fucknut, okay?

JORDAN
Donnie? He’s just high is all.

BRAD
I dunno if he’s stupid or a junkie
but he’s a loose fuckin’ cannon.
I don’t trust him and I don’t want
him around me.

JORDAN
Jesus. I thought he was your best
customer.

BRAD
I only sell to him cuz he’s your
friend.

JORDAN
Can you just do one trip for him?

Brad stews. It’s asking a lot.

BRAD
I’ll meet him but I won’t pick up.
I have a limit of how much of that
douchebag I can take.
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DONNIE
I can hear you, motherfucker!

Donnie emerges from where he’s been eavesdropping.

DONNIE (CONT’D)
I’m a douchebag?!! Well, whose
fucking idea was it made us all
this money?!! Who fucking knew
Steve Madden?!! This douchebag!!
So go fuck yourself a little!

Brad slaps Donnie so hard across the face he goes down.

JORDAN (V.O.)
The next day, Aunt Emma flew to
Geneva, two million in cash in her
carry-on.

159A SCENES 159A - B OMITTED 159A

160 INT. GENEVA AIRPORT - DAY (SUMMER ‘95) 160

Wheeling a small carry-on suitcase, Aunt Emma smiles at a
CUSTOMS AGENT, who waves her through.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Which in the big picture was a
drop in the Swiss bucket --

TIME CUT:

160aA On another day, Chantalle and her family (PARENTS, 160aA
BROTHER, his WIFE) pass through Customs, “on vacation.”

JORDAN (V.O.)
-- because the following month,
over the course of six round-
trips, Chantalle and her family
smuggled in over twenty million
without even a hiccup.

160A INT. BANQUE REAL DE GENEVE - PRIVATE ROOM - DAY 160A
(SUMMER ‘95)

With a cash-filled suitcase on the table, Chantalle
remembers a last fold of cash hidden inside her skirt’s
lining. She laughs with Saurel.

161 SCENES 161 - 170C OMITTED 161
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Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a beach house guest bedroom, Jordan and Donnie watch as Brad humorously tapes stacks of cash to his frustrated wife, Chantalle, who becomes a cash-covered 'mummy.' As they discuss moving the remaining cash, tension escalates between Donnie and Brad over trust issues, culminating in a physical confrontation when Brad slaps Donnie after overhearing him. The scene blends dark humor with underlying conflict, ending with a voiceover about Aunt Emma successfully smuggling cash into Geneva the next day.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Tension-filled interactions
Intriguing plot development

Weaknesses

Some characters may lack depth
Limited emotional depth in certain interactions

Critique

The scene effectively captures the absurdity and dark humor of Jordan's lifestyle, showcasing the lengths to which he and his associates will go to move illicit cash. However, the humor sometimes overshadows the gravity of their actions, which could lead to a disconnect for the audience regarding the consequences of their behavior.
The dialogue is sharp and reflects the characters' personalities well, particularly the banter between Chantalle and Brad. However, the use of stereotypes in Chantalle's accent and dialogue may come off as clichéd and could detract from her character's depth. It risks reducing her to a mere comedic prop rather than a fully realized character.
The conflict between Donnie and Brad is established but could be more pronounced. While the tension is present, the stakes feel low, and the audience may not fully grasp the implications of their disagreement. This could be enhanced by providing more context about their relationship and the potential fallout from their conflict.
Jordan's voiceover provides context but can feel intrusive at times. It might be more effective to show rather than tell, allowing the audience to infer the stakes and motivations through the characters' actions and interactions rather than relying heavily on exposition.
The pacing of the scene is uneven. The initial setup with Chantalle being taped is humorous, but the transition to the conflict between Donnie and Brad feels abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the comedic tone while building tension.

Suggestions

Consider deepening Chantalle's character by giving her more agency in the scene. Instead of just being a passive participant in the cash-taping, allow her to express her own motivations or frustrations more clearly, which could add depth to her character.
Enhance the conflict between Donnie and Brad by incorporating more backstory or stakes related to their relationship. This could involve a brief flashback or a line of dialogue that hints at past tensions, making their current disagreement feel more significant.
Reduce reliance on voiceover exposition. Instead, use visual storytelling to convey the stakes of the cash movement and the characters' motivations. This could involve showing the consequences of their actions in a more direct way.
Maintain the humor but balance it with moments that remind the audience of the serious implications of their actions. This could involve a brief moment of reflection from Jordan or another character that acknowledges the risks they are taking.
Consider adjusting the pacing to allow for a more gradual build-up to the conflict. This could involve extending the humorous setup before diving into the tension between Donnie and Brad, creating a more cohesive flow to the scene.

Scene 30 - Money and Mayhem

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

170D EXT. STRIP MALL - PARKING LOT - LONG ISLAND - DAY 170D
(LATE SUMMER ‘95)

Brad waits by his Range Rover as Donnie’s Rolls careens
into the lot. He emerges, briefcase in hand.

DONNIE
Fu Manchu! Kung fu!

Donnie starts doing spastic karate moves. Is he high?
Sure looks like it. Brad looks pissed, and Donnie starts
laughing. Actually he’s dead sober.

DONNIE (CONT’D)
I’m just fucking with you, man.
Jesus, the look on your face.
(Brad isn’t laughing)
Hey, sorry if I got outta line the
other day, I was just, that was
the drugs talking...

BRAD
S’cool, just... gimme the case.

DONNIE
(he doesn’t)
You know, I always kinda regretted
you didn’t come to work with us at
Stratton. It’d be so cool having
you around, man.

BRAD
(growing impatient)
Yeah, well...

DONNIE
You’d be one of us, we’d go out-
partying together, you wouldn’t
have to dress like a mall rat
guinea prison bitch all the time.

Donnie grins, obviously still smarting from Brad’s slap.
Brad just wants to take the money and be done.

BRAD
Give me the money.

A DISTANCE AWAY, a COP in a patrol car notices Brad
gesturing to Donnie for his briefcase. He nudges his
partner: check this out.

DONNIE
Can I come over and help tape this
to your wife? “Eez so focking
steeky! Take eet off, Bra-hod!”

Brad composes himself, lest he kill the guy.
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BRAD
I’m gonna give you a pass.

DONNIE
You’re what?

BRAD
I’m gonna give you a pass.

DONNIE
You’re gonna give me a pass?

BRAD
Yes. Just gimme the money.

DONNIE
You’re gonna give me a pass?
Okay...
(offers the case)
Why don’t you stick your pass up
your Slavic cunt’s pussy.

That does it. Brad attacks. Donnie throws the case at
him, which opens on impact, money spilling out. Brad
instinctively tries to contain it... and that’s when the
POLICE SIRENS start. Here comes the patrol car.

BRAD
Shit!

Donnie bolts. With no time to get to his car, Brad takes
off on foot, bleeding briefcase in hand, toward a video
store where he stashes his .38 in the return box.

POLICE
Freeze! Don’t move!

Brad drops to his knees, briefcase at his feet. From a
distance, Donnie peers around a corner to watch him get
arrested, knowing he fucked this up.

170E SCENES 170E - 178 OMITTED 170E

178A INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - DONNIE’S OFFICE - DAY 178A
*
(LATE SUMMER ‘95) *

Donnie is seated at his desk, freaking out and trying to *
figure out what to do. He exits. *

179 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY 179
(LATE SUMMER ‘95)

With a flourish, Donnie presents a bottle full of ludes. *
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DONNIE
Jord, do I have a surprise for *
you. Twenty real lemons! A retired *
pharmacist friend of mine’s been *
sitting on these the last 15 *
years. *

JORDAN
You fucking serious?!

CLOSE ON -- a Lemmon 714 Quaalude; pure white, with
trademark ridged edges.

JORDAN (V.O.) (CONT’D)
The Lemmon 714 was the Holy Grail
of Quaaludes, outlawed since the
‘80s and three times as powerful
as anything available today. For
a Quaalude addict, it was like
finding a 1952 Chateau Margaux.

CLOSE ON -- Donnie gauging Jordan’s excitement, waiting
for the right moment to admit his fuck-up.

DONNIE(V.O.)
I’d been saving these for a
special occasion, like a birthday
or celebrating our money being out
of the country. Instead I thought
I’d better use ‘em to help break
the news about Brad.

180 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - MASTER BATHROOM - DAY 180
(LATE SUMMER ‘95)

In his underwear, Jordan kneels over the toilet, sticking
his fingers down his throat to make himself vomit.

JORDAN (V.O.)
That night I cleared my schedule
and rid my body of anything that
could fuck with my high. It was
celebration time.

He takes a box off the counter marked “Active Enema”.
He squats and administers it...

181 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - BASEMENT - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 181

Massive, with a wet bar, media center and full gym.
Giddy as kids on Christmas, Jordan and Donnie sit on the
couch, the bottle of Lemmons before them.

JORDAN
Start with one, see how it goes?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 95.

DONNIE
My guy says one’s all we’ll need.
Salut’.

Excited, they each pop a lude, toast with hot sake’...

DISSOLVE TO:

Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a tense parking lot encounter, Brad waits impatiently for Donnie, who arrives in a Rolls Royce and behaves erratically, joking and insulting Brad. As Brad demands the briefcase of money, their conflict escalates into a physical fight, causing the briefcase to spill its contents. With police sirens approaching, Brad flees on foot, hiding a gun in a video store return box, while Donnie watches helplessly as Brad is arrested.

Strengths

Tension
Humor
Character Dynamics

Weaknesses

Potential Lack of Emotional Depth

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic and absurd nature of the characters' lives, particularly through Donnie's erratic behavior and Brad's growing impatience. This contrast highlights the tension between their personalities, which is a strong point in the writing.
The dialogue is sharp and reflects the characters' dynamics well, especially the playful yet confrontational banter between Donnie and Brad. However, some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact, particularly in the back-and-forth exchanges.
The introduction of the police sirens adds a layer of urgency and stakes to the scene, effectively escalating the tension. However, the transition from the confrontation to the police's arrival could be smoother to maintain the flow of the narrative.
The visual elements, such as the briefcase spilling money and Brad's subsequent actions, create a vivid image that enhances the absurdity of the situation. However, more sensory details could be added to immerse the audience further in the scene, such as the sounds of the parking lot or the visual chaos of the money spilling out.
The character motivations are clear, but Brad's impatience could be further emphasized through his body language and internal thoughts. This would deepen the audience's understanding of his frustration and the stakes involved in the exchange.

Suggestions

Consider tightening the dialogue to enhance the comedic timing and clarity. For example, some of Donnie's lines could be more concise to maintain the scene's pace.
Add more sensory details to the scene to create a richer atmosphere. Describing the sounds, smells, or visual chaos of the parking lot could enhance the audience's immersion.
Smooth out the transition between the confrontation and the police sirens to maintain narrative flow. Perhaps foreshadow the police presence earlier in the scene to build tension gradually.
Explore Brad's internal thoughts or feelings more deeply to give the audience insight into his impatience and frustration. This could be done through brief voiceovers or internal monologues.
Consider adding a moment of reflection for Donnie after the confrontation, showcasing his realization of the consequences of his actions. This could add depth to his character and set up future conflicts.

Scene 31 - Urgent Call in the Basement

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 7
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

182 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - BASEMENT - LATER (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 182

Bored, Jordan and Donnie sit on the couch watching
“Family Matters” on TV.

JORDAN
You feeling anything?

DONNIE
Nope.
(glances at watch)
Thirty five minutes.

JORDAN
Maybe we’ve built up a tolerance
all these years?

Donnie shrugs; they pop another, wash it down with sake’.

DISSOLVE TO:

183 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - BASEMENT - LATER (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 183

With Jordan running on the treadmill, Donnie pumps away
on an exercise bike nearby. They’re both sweating.

DONNIE
This is bullshit, man. My fucking
metabolism’s pumping and I don’t
feel shit.

JORDAN
They’re old, maybe they lost their
potency.

Donnie leans over, picks up the bottle. Reads the label.

DONNIE
January ‘81. They’re fucking
duds.

He shakes out more pills, two more apiece. As they pop
them, a very pregnant Naomi descends the stairs, now very
pregnant.

NAOMI
What are you two retards doing?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 96.

JORDAN
Nothing. Working out.

NAOMI
(a look; then)
Bo Dietl’s on the phone.

Naomi heads back upstairs. Jordan picks up the phone.

JORDAN
Bo, hey, what’s up?

184 INT. BO DIETL’S CADILLAC - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 184

Bo Dietl talks on his cell phone.

BO DIETL
I need to talk to you, but not on
this phone.

INTERCUT JORDAN AND BO

JORDAN
Why, what’s--

BO DIETL
Leave the house, call me back
from a pay phone, you hear me?

185 EXT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 185

Jordan pulls his Lamborghini out of the driveway.

JORDAN (V.O.)
The Brookville Country Club was a
WASP stronghold, a straight shot
down the road from my house.

186 EXT. BROOKVILLE COUNTRY CLUB - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 186

Jordan pulls up, exits the car in sweats, flip-flops and
a T-shirt. He hustles up a staircase into...

187 INT. BROOKVILLE COUNTRY CLUB - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 187

Jordan stands at a pay phone, receiver to his ear.
WE HEAR it ringing, then:

BO DIETL (O.S.)
Jordan?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 97.

JORDAN
Yeah, I’m at a pay phone. What’s
going on?

INTERCUT:

Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

Summary In the basement of Jordan's estate, Jordan and Donnie, feeling bored and frustrated after taking pills, attempt to exercise but find the drugs ineffective. Their light banter is interrupted by Naomi, who, very pregnant, informs Jordan about an urgent call from Bo Dietl. This prompts Jordan to leave the house for a private conversation, shifting the scene from their casual lethargy to a sense of urgency.

Strengths

Building tension
Effective character development
Engaging dialogue

Weaknesses

Potential lack of clarity on the characters' motivations

Critique

The scene effectively captures the disillusionment and numbness that Jordan and Donnie are experiencing due to their drug use. However, the dialogue could be more dynamic to reflect their increasing desperation and frustration. The current exchanges feel somewhat flat and could benefit from more emotional weight or humor to enhance the absurdity of their situation.
The transition between the two parts of the scene (watching TV and then exercising) is somewhat abrupt. A more gradual transition could help maintain the flow and build tension. For example, showing them becoming increasingly restless while watching TV before deciding to work out could create a stronger narrative arc.
Naomi's entrance serves as a good reminder of the reality outside their drug-induced haze, but her dialogue could be more impactful. Instead of simply stating that Bo Dietl is on the phone, she could express concern or frustration about their behavior, adding depth to her character and the situation.
The use of 'Family Matters' as a backdrop is a clever choice, symbolizing the contrast between the mundane and the chaotic lives of Jordan and Donnie. However, the scene could benefit from more visual cues that emphasize their drug-induced state, such as their physical appearance or the environment around them becoming increasingly surreal.
The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The initial boredom is established well, but the subsequent action of them working out could be more frenetic to match their drug-induced state. This could involve faster cuts or more frantic dialogue to convey their agitation.

Suggestions

Consider adding more layers to the dialogue between Jordan and Donnie, perhaps incorporating references to their past or their fears about the future to deepen their characters and the stakes of the scene.
Introduce a visual motif that symbolizes their drug use and its effects, such as a clock ticking faster or the room becoming increasingly chaotic as they consume more pills, to enhance the sense of urgency and disorientation.
Enhance Naomi's character by giving her a more assertive or emotional reaction to Jordan and Donnie's behavior, which could create a stronger conflict and highlight the consequences of their lifestyle.
Explore the idea of their drug tolerance further by having them discuss past experiences with drugs, which could serve as a moment of reflection and add depth to their characters.
Consider using a voiceover from Jordan that reflects his internal thoughts during this scene, providing insight into his mindset and the consequences of his actions, which could add a layer of complexity to the narrative.

Scene 32 - Descent into Chaos

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

188 INT. BO DIETL’S CADILLAC - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 188

Bo talks on his cell.

BO DIETL
Your buddy Brad’s in jail.

JORDAN
Oh, Jesus Christ! What did he do? *

BO DIETL
I dunno yet, they arrested him in *
a shopping mall in Long Island *
this morning, I’m finding out.
But listen to me. More important
than that. The guy Denham I told
you about, the Fed? He’s got your
phones tapped, I’m pretty sure.
Home and office. *

JORDAN *
Donnie, that piece of shit. I’m *
gonna kill him! That fat prick *
mother fucker! *

BO DIETL *
But, listen to me. Do me a favor, *
please do not talk on the phone. *

JORDAN
Fuck!

BO DIETL
Did you try to bribe this fuckin’
guy?

JORDAN
What? No! I didn’t try to bribe
anybody!

BO DIETL
Jordan? I couldn’t understand
you. Say that again?

JORDAN
I zay I zint ty zoo bibe azybuzzy!

BO DIETL
Are you fucking high?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 98.

Jordan can’t respond. Phone still to his ear, his
eyelids droop. Drool spills from his slackened jaw.

JORDAN (V.O.)
After fifteen years in storage,
the Lemmons had developed a
delayed fuse.

JORDAN’S POV -- is hazy as he stares at his own
reflection in the pay phone.

JORDAN (V.O.)
It took 90 minutes for the little
fuckers to kick in, but once they
did -- pow! I had skipped the
tingle phase and went straight to
the drool phase.

JORDAN’S POV -- the phone gets further and further away.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Actually I’d discovered a new
phase: the cerebral palsy phase.

BAMMM!! Jordan hits the floor with a thud, crashed out
on his back. From the dangling phone, we hear:

BO DIETL (O.S.)
(over phone)
Jordan! Jordan! Do not get behind
the wheel! Just tell me where
you’re at, I'll send Rocco!

Jordan lolls his head toward the phone, tries to reach
for it; he can’t. He lays there for a while, then:

JORDAN (V.O.)
C’mon, stand up!

He rolls onto all fours, lifts a hand, topples over.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Okay, walking is off the list of
options. All right, what else is
there?
(a brainstorm)
I can crawl, like Skylar!

Slowly, Jordan begins crawling like an infant to the top
of the staircase.

188A SCENES 188A - 188B OMITTED 188A
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 99.

189 EXT. STAIRCASE - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 189

The Lamborghini is parked at the bottom, twenty steps
down. He starts to crawl down the stairs, stops. Tries
again. Can’t figure out how to do it.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Fuck! The kid makes it look so
easy!

An icy wind blows through his T-shirt.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Think, you motherfucker, think!
(a few beats; then)
Wait, I’ve got it!

Jordan slowly curls himself into a ball.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I can roll!

Forcing himself over the edge, Jordan begins to descend
the steps, one at a time. Thump. Thump. Then faster.
Thump- Thump-Thump. Faster still. He loses control,
takes all the steps at once. Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump-
Thump-Thump. He lands with a crash on the asphalt,
drags himself up and into the Lamborghini.

190 INT. JORDAN’S LAMBORGHINI - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 190

Ignition on, Jordan sits hunched over, chin resting on
the steering wheel. Just then, the car phone RINGS.
With great effort, he pushes the speaker phone button:

JORDAN
...ello?

NAOMI (O.S.)
Omigod! Jordan, where are you?!

JORDAN
Whazz a marra?

NAOMI (O.S.)
It’s Donnie, he’s totally out of
control! He’s on the other line
with some Swiss guy!

Jordan’s face reads horror.

JORDAN
Whaa?!! No!!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 100.

NAOMI (O.S.)
I can’t understand you! Just get
home, hurry!

Naomi clicks off. And as Jordan puts the car in gear...

JORDAN (V.O.)
They say God protects drunks and
babies. I was praying the same
held true for drug addicts.

191 EXT. HEGEMAN’S ROAD - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 191

Peering over the wheel like an old lady, Jordan slowly
maneuvers the Lamborghini down the dark road.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I was less than a mile from home
and drove slower than shit.

192 EXT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER 95) 192

Jordan pulls up in the Lamborghini, shuts the ignition.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Somehow I made it alive, not a
scratch on me or the car.

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Thriller"]

Summary In a frantic late-night scene, Bo Dietl warns Jordan about his friend Brad's imprisonment and the possibility of phone taps by federal agent Denham. Jordan, in a drugged and agitated state, expresses paranoia and anger towards Donnie, whom he suspects of betrayal. Struggling to maintain control, he collapses and crawls down the stairs to his Lamborghini. After a frantic call from Naomi urging him to return home due to Donnie's reckless behavior, Jordan drives home slowly, reflecting on his precarious situation amidst the chaos.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Effective portrayal of escalating tension
Compelling character dynamics

Weaknesses

Some dialogue could be more impactful
Certain moments could be more focused

Critique

The scene effectively captures Jordan's drug-induced state, using humor and absurdity to highlight his deteriorating condition. The dialogue between Jordan and Bo Dietl is sharp and conveys urgency, but it could benefit from more tension as Jordan realizes the gravity of his situation.
The use of voiceover is a strong narrative device here, providing insight into Jordan's mental state and adding a layer of dark humor. However, the transition between his thoughts and the action could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
The physical comedy of Jordan crawling and rolling down the stairs is visually engaging and fits the tone of the film. However, it may come off as too slapstick for some viewers, potentially undermining the seriousness of the situation he finds himself in.
The pacing of the scene is generally good, but there are moments where it feels rushed, particularly when transitioning from the phone call with Bo to Jordan's physical struggle. A bit more time spent on his realization of the situation could heighten the stakes.
The dialogue is humorous and captures the chaotic nature of Jordan's life, but it could be enhanced by incorporating more emotional weight. For instance, Jordan's reaction to Brad being in jail could be more layered, reflecting his concern for his friend amidst his own crisis.

Suggestions

Consider adding a moment of reflection for Jordan after the call with Bo, where he contemplates the implications of having his phones tapped and what that means for his future. This could add depth to his character and heighten the tension.
To improve the transition between Jordan's thoughts and actions, try using more visual cues or physical reactions that align with his internal monologue, creating a stronger connection between his mental state and physical actions.
Explore the possibility of having Bo Dietl express more urgency or concern during the phone call, which could amplify the tension and make Jordan's subsequent actions feel more desperate.
Incorporate more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere of the scene. For example, describe the sounds of the night or the feeling of the cold air as Jordan crawls, which could ground the viewer in his chaotic experience.
Consider refining the humor in Jordan's physical struggle to ensure it complements the scene's tone without overshadowing the seriousness of his situation. Balancing comedy with the gravity of his circumstances will create a more impactful moment.

Scene 33 - Frantic Rescue

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

193 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - FAMILY ROOM - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 193

CLOSE ON the TV, where a POPEYE cartoon is playing.
PULL BACK to reveal Skylar watching. As Jordan staggers
in, Naomi approaches...

JORDAN
Where Zonnie?!

NAOMI
In the kitchen.

194 SCENE 194 OMITTED 194

195 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS 195

Phone to his ear and at least as stoned as Jordan, Donnie
stands at the counter. *

DONNIE
(into phone)
--zee money, I wazza move izz to
Zwizzyland...
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 101.

195A INT. SAUREL’S BEDROOM - NIGHT 195A
(LATE SUMMER ‘95)

Having been just woken up, Jean-Jacques Saurel sits up in
bed, phone to his ear, a perplexed look on his face.

SAUREL
What language are you speaking,
Mr. Azoff?

196 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS 196
(LATE SUMMER ‘95)

With Naomi looking on, Jordan staggers toward Donnie
like a drunk Frankenstein.

JORDAN
Ge ozza zone! Ge ozza iz!!

DONNIE
Waz? Iz zoggin oo anzali!

JORDAN
GE OZZA ZONE!!

With all the strength he can muster, Jordan RIPS the
phone from the wall, throwing it skittering across the
floor with a CLANG.

NAOMI
What the fuck are you doing?!

DONNIE
Wazza fuh is wrong wizzz oooo?!!
I wuzz awwing to!!
(Jordan grabs him)
Wazza mazzer?! Wazza yoo razy?!!

Skylar looks on from the next room, crying as Jordan
tries to shake some sense into Donnie. Naomi crosses to *
Skylar and rushes her out of the room. *

JORDAN
Zee vone!! He nah zuppose zoo
dalk on zee vone!!

DONNIE
Wuzz?!!

JORDAN
ZE NAH ZUPPOSE ZOO DALK ON ZEE
VONE!! WUZZ AAZZEN TOZAY WIZ
ZOD?!

DONNIE
WUZZ?!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 102.

JORDAN
WUZZ ZOD IN ZAW?!

DONNIE
WUZZ?!

Fuck it. Jordan releases Donnie. Donnie crawls into the *
dining room and starts shoving ham into his mouth in an *
effort to sober up. Just then, we HEAR a horrible *
GAGGING sound. Donnie holds his throat as he falls *
backward choking, taking out the entire glass kitchen
table with a tremendous CRASH! Naomi rushes back in. *

NAOMI
Omigod, he’s choking! Jordan, do
something!!

Just then, WE HEAR the triumphant Popeye FANFARE --
Jordan looks to the TV, where POPEYE pours a can of
spinach down his gullet. Instantly, his chest and arm
muscles swell to five times their size.

Jordan goes to get his coke. He snarfs up two fat
spoonfuls and -- like that -- his chest swells and he
takes a deep breath and he dashes back to the rescue...

Jordan rushes back to Donnie, who is now blue.

NAOMI (CONT’D)
He’s not breathing!

Jordan places his fingers over Donnie’s artery. Nothing.

NAOMI (CONT’D)
Save him!

Jordan kneels, starts furiously pumping Donnie’s chest,
breathing air into his lungs in rhythmic bursts.

JORDAN (V.O.)
This stupid sonovabitch! All
Donnie ever did was fuck me up and
now I had to save his life ‘cause
I took a CPR class when the baby
was learning to swim. Just for
the record, I want it noted: not
for a second did I even think
about letting him choke to death,
even though it would’ve saved me
an awful lot of headaches.

Donnie still isn’t breathing. Jordan flips him over,
tries the Heimlich -- we hear a CRUNCH as he breaks
Donnie’s ribs. He flips him back over, but he’s almost
completely blue.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 103.

JORDAN
He won’t come back!

NAOMI
Don’t let him die! He has
children!

One last try. Jordan takes a massive breath, blowing as
hard as he can into Donnie’s lungs. Donnie’s stomach
distends like a balloon, then suddenly a chunk of ham
projects from his mouth and into Jordan’s face. Donnie
coughs, vomiting. And as he starts breathing again,
Jordan exits and passes out on the living room couch. *

FADE TO BLACK.

BROOKVILLE POLICE #1 (V.O.)
Jordan Belfort?

196A INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - FAMILY ROOM - DAY 196A
(LATE SUMMER ‘95)

Jordan opens his eyes. Through his HAZY POV, we see
Violet, the maid standing over him with two OLD
BROOKVILLE POLICE OFFICERS as Naomi attends to Donnie in
the background.

JORDAN
Yes?

BROOKVILLE POLICE #1
Sir, we need to ask you some
questions.

197 SCENES 197 - 199 OMITTED 197

200 EXT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 200

Jordan exits the house with the Police Officers. The
Lamborghini is TOTALLED, an absolute wreck.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Wow. Maybe I hadn’t made it home
okay.

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a chaotic late summer night scene, intoxicated Jordan stumbles into the kitchen, where Donnie is on the phone. After a confrontation, Donnie begins choking, prompting a frantic Jordan to attempt a rescue using CPR and the Heimlich maneuver. Amidst the chaos, Donnie regains consciousness after vomiting, while Jordan, overwhelmed by the ordeal, passes out on the couch. The scene captures a blend of dark humor and tension as the characters navigate the life-threatening situation.

Strengths

Effective blend of drama and comedy
Tension-filled moments
Character dynamics and development

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be hard to follow due to the characters' drug-induced state

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic and absurd nature of Jordan and Donnie's drug-fueled state, showcasing their disorientation and the dark humor that permeates the narrative. However, the dialogue can be difficult to follow due to the heavy use of slurred speech and nonsensical phrases, which may alienate the audience. While this reflects their intoxication, it could benefit from clearer communication to maintain engagement.
The juxtaposition of the Popeye cartoon with the life-and-death situation adds a layer of dark comedy, but it may come off as jarring for some viewers. The tonal shift from humor to urgency could be smoothed out to enhance the emotional impact of the scene. The cartoon serves as a metaphor for Jordan's inflated sense of strength and capability, but this connection could be made more explicit.
Jordan's internal monologue provides insight into his character and his complicated feelings towards Donnie, which is a strong narrative choice. However, the voiceover could be more concise to maintain pacing and keep the audience focused on the action. The humor in his thoughts about saving Donnie is effective, but it risks undermining the gravity of the situation if not balanced carefully.
The physicality of the scene, particularly the CPR and Heimlich maneuver, is well-executed and creates tension. However, the description of breaking Donnie's ribs could be more grounded in reality to avoid pulling the audience out of the moment. The exaggerated nature of the scene is fitting for the film's tone, but it should still adhere to some level of believability.
The ending, where Jordan passes out on the couch, serves as a fitting conclusion to the chaos, but it could be enhanced by showing the immediate aftermath of Donnie's recovery. This would provide a clearer resolution to the tension and allow for a more impactful transition to the next scene.

Suggestions

Consider simplifying the dialogue during the intoxicated exchanges to ensure clarity while still conveying their disorientation. This will help the audience stay engaged and understand the stakes of the scene.
Explore ways to deepen the connection between the cartoon and the events unfolding in the kitchen. Perhaps include a line of dialogue that explicitly ties Jordan's actions to the cartoon's themes of strength and resilience.
Refine the voiceover to focus on key emotional beats, ensuring it complements the action rather than detracts from it. This will help maintain pacing and keep the audience invested in the moment.
Reassess the physicality of the CPR scene to ensure it remains grounded in reality while still capturing the absurdity of the situation. This balance will enhance the tension and keep the audience immersed in the drama.
Consider adding a brief moment after Donnie's recovery to show the immediate emotional fallout, allowing for a smoother transition to the next scene and providing closure to the chaos.

Scene 34 - Crossroads of Recklessness

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 6

201 EXT. HEGEMAN’S ROAD - NIGHT (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 201

FLASHBACK. Nodding out, Jordan drives the Lamborghini
like a maniac, careening off parked cars and trees.

JORDAN (V.O.)
It was an absolute miracle I
wasn’t killed, and an even bigger
miracle I hadn’t killed anyone.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 104.

201A INT. POLICE STATION - DAY (LATE SUMMER ‘95) 201A
*

A MAN steps up to get his mug shot taken, but it’s Brad,
not Jordan. FLASH. Turn to the side. FLASH.

JORDAN (V.O.)
But they couldn’t arrest me, the
cops had no proof I’d been behind
the wheel. Meanwhile, Brad did a *
few months in jail for contempt *
because he wouldn’t rat Donnie
out. They never found his gun,
though, so they finally had to let
him go.

202 SCENES 202 - 202A OMITTED 202

202B EXT. HORSE FARM - LONG ISLAND - DAY (OCT ‘95) 202B

Jordan watches an INSTRUCTOR lead Skylar on a pony.
Nearby Naomi holds newborn PARKER. Manny Riskin and Max
stand beside Jordan.

MANNY RISKIN
You’re a lucky guy, Jordan.
Legally I’ve never seen anyone
slip a noose the way you do.
Christ, you’re lucky to be alive
much less not in jail.

JORDAN
I don’t believe in luck.

MANNY RISKIN
That’s what all lucky people say.
It’s time, Jordan. Let me make a
deal with SEC. Before your luck
runs out.

Skylar waves from the pony and Jordan waves back.

JORDAN
What kind of terms?

MANNY RISKIN
You plead guilty to a handful of
securities violations -- stock
manipulation, high pressure sales
tactics, ticky-tack shit like
that. You pay a few million
dollars in fines and in exchange
the SEC fucks off for all time.

JORDAN
And Stratton? What happens there?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 105.

MANNY RISKIN
You’d have to walk away. Let
Donnie take over.
(that one hurts)
Now the FBI’s a different animal.
They can still pursue you for
criminal wrongdoing. But with you
on the sidelines, my guess is your
best friend Agent Denham’ll be
left standing around with his dick
in his hand.

Jordan digests that.

MAX
You beat them, Jordan. You won.
Sail into the sunset with your
wife and kids while you can.

MANNY RISKIN
God knows you’ll never have to
work again.

As Jordan looks at his picture-perfect family, WE HEAR
THE ROAR OF A CROWD...

202C SCENES 202C - 202D OMITTED 202C

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Biography"]

Summary The scene opens with a flashback of Jordan driving a Lamborghini recklessly, reflecting on his dangerous past. It shifts to a police station where Brad is jailed for contempt, having taken the fall for Jordan. At a horse farm in Long Island, Manny Riskin advises Jordan to accept a plea deal with the SEC to avoid jail time, which would require him to step away from his company. As Jordan contemplates this decision, he observes his family, highlighting the tension between his reckless past and the potential loss of his family life.

Strengths

Tension-filled atmosphere
Character introspection
High-stakes negotiations

Weaknesses

Lack of standout dialogue moments
Limited emotional impact

Critique

The scene effectively uses flashbacks to juxtapose Jordan's reckless behavior with the consequences faced by his associates, particularly Brad. This technique highlights the theme of accountability and the chaotic lifestyle that Jordan leads, which is a strong narrative choice.
Jordan's voiceover provides insight into his mindset, showcasing his arrogance and denial about the severity of his actions. However, the voiceover could be more impactful if it included more emotional depth, reflecting on the consequences of his actions beyond just his own survival.
The dialogue between Manny Riskin and Jordan is informative, but it feels somewhat expository. While it conveys necessary information about the legal situation, it could benefit from a more natural flow or conflict to enhance the tension. Manny's character could express more urgency or frustration to reflect the gravity of the situation.
The scene transitions from the chaos of Jordan's driving to a serene moment at the horse farm, which is visually striking. However, the emotional connection between Jordan and his family could be deepened. Showing more of Jordan's internal conflict about his family versus his reckless lifestyle would add layers to his character.
The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The flashback sequence is quick and chaotic, while the conversation with Manny slows down significantly. Balancing these elements could enhance the overall flow and maintain the audience's engagement.

Suggestions

Consider adding more emotional weight to Jordan's voiceover, perhaps reflecting on the impact of his actions on others, not just himself. This could create a more complex character arc.
Incorporate more dynamic dialogue between Jordan and Manny that reveals their relationship and the stakes involved. This could include more tension or disagreement about the proposed deal.
Explore Jordan's internal conflict more deeply during the scene at the horse farm. Show his struggle between the allure of his past life and the responsibilities of being a family man.
Adjust the pacing by interspersing moments of tension with quieter, reflective beats. This could help maintain engagement and allow the audience to digest the gravity of the situation.
Consider using visual motifs or symbols to represent Jordan's internal struggle, such as contrasting images of his family with the chaos of his past, to enhance the thematic depth of the scene.

Scene 35 - The Show Goes On

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 9
Plot: 8
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

202E INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - BULLPEN - DAY 202E
(SPRING ‘96)

The troops ROAR as Jordan takes center stage.

JORDAN
I’m sure many of you have been
hearing rumors lately, about me,
about the future of this firm, and
that’s what I’d like to talk to
you about today.
(a few beats, then)
Five years ago when I started
Stratton with Donnie Azoff, I knew
the day would eventually come when
I’d be moving on. It’s truly with
a heavy heart that I tell you that
day is here.

The place erupts in a chorus of “No!”, “Don’t go!”, etc.
Jordan raises his hand for quiet.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Thank you for that and for your
years of incredible loyalty and
admiration.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 106.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
The point is though, that under
Donnie’s leadership, along with
Robbie Feinberg and Nicky Koskoff
moving into key management
positions, this place is gonna be
better than ever!

A smattering of applause. Jordan notices a few Brokers
gravely shaking their heads.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
And the fact that I'm gone won’t
stop me from giving Donnie advice,
not that he needs any--

DONNIE
(jumping in)
Why would anyone in their right
mind not follow JB's advice?

Donnie looks petrified; he’s used to being an offensive
tackle, not the quarterback.

JORDAN
Before I go, there’s something I
want to remind you all, and that’s
this -- Stratton Oakmont is bigger
than any one person, even me.
Especially me. You guys are
Stratton, each and every one of
you, and that is why it’s sure to
remain the best brokerage firm in
the fucking world!

Thunderous applause spreads through the boardroom, all
300 Brokers on their feet. WE PUSH IN on Jordan.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
See, the very idea of Stratton is
that when you come here and step
into this bullpen for the first
time, you start your life anew.
You have a place here and no one
can take that away from you!
Stratton Oakmont is America! Give
me your tired and poor! The very
moment you walk through that door
and pledge your loyalty to this
firm, you become part of a family,
you become a Strattonite! It
doesn’t matter who you are, it
doesn’t matter where you’re from!
Whether your family came over on
the Mayflower or on a fucking
inner tube from Haiti!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 107.

More applause. Jordan scans the young faces -- they
worship him. In the crowd he finds KIMMIE BELZER, 30s.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Everybody here knows Kimmie
Belzer, right?

Hoots and hollers... He raises his hand for quiet.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
In case any of you weren't aware
of it, Kimmie was one of
Stratton's first brokers, one of
the original twenty. Now when
most of you met Kimmie, you met
her the way she is today -- a
beautiful woman who drives a brand
new Mercedes, a woman who lives in
the finest condo complex on Long
Island. A woman who wears $3000
Armani suits, who spends her
winters in the Bahamas and her
summers in the Hamptons!

Wild applause.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
But that’s not the Kimmie I met.
The Kimmie I met was broke, a
single mom on the balls of her
ass. Three months behind on her
rent with an eight year old son!
She came to me for a job and when
I hired her she asked for a $5000
dollar advance so she could pay
his tuition. And what did I do,
Kimmie?

KIMMIE
You wrote me a check for $25,000!

JORDAN
Because I believed in you, like
I believe in each and every one
of you!

KIMMIE
I love you, Jordan!

As the Brokers go berserk, Jordan stands basking in the
adoration. He looks at Donnie, turns back to the Crowd,
looks out at the faces. A change has come over him.
He stands there, thinking. An eternity, then:
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 108.

JORDAN
You know for years I’ve been
telling you guys not to take no
for an answer, to keep pushing,
to not hang up the phone till you
get what you want. This deal I’m
about to sign, barring me from the
securities industry, barring me
from Stratton, my home... What the
fuck is that? I’ll tell you what
it is, it’s me being a hypocrite.
It’s me taking no for an answer,
it’s them selling me, not the
other way around! Fuck it, I’m
not leaving!

Jordan smiles, thrusts his hands in the air --

JORDAN (CONT’D)
THE SHOW GOES ON!!

The place goes absolutely INSANE. And as Donnie and Max
trade looks, TECHNO MUSIC BLASTS taking us to...

202Ea EXT. YACHT NAOMI - AFT DECK - DAY (SPRING ‘96) 202Ea

It’s celebration time. DOZENS of Strattonites party,
drinking/dancing/snorting, Jordan at the center of it.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Of course, the troops weren’t the *
only ones who were thrilled. *

202F INT. DENHAM’S OFFICE - DAY (SPRING ‘96) 202F

Agent Denham hears the news over the phone. A smile
touches his lips: his case goes on...

202Fa EXT. YACHT NAOMI - AFT DECK (SPRING ‘96) 202Fa
*

The party continues as Brad comes aboard. He’s welcomed *
and showered with lapdancers. *

JORDAN (V.O.) *
I apologized to Brad and promised *
him he’d never have to deal with *
Donnie again. Even offered to pay *
him for his time in the can. But *
he said no, he was out. Sad thing *
was, he was dead two years later. *
Massive heart attack while sitting *
on the john. *

202G SCENE 202G OMITTED 202G
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 109.

Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In the bullpen of Stratton Oakmont, Jordan addresses the brokers, initially announcing his departure, which causes disbelief and sadness among the crowd. However, his speech transforms into a passionate declaration of loyalty to the firm and its employees, highlighted by a personal story about Kimmie Belzer's success. Ultimately, Jordan rejects the idea of leaving, declaring that 'the show goes on,' leading to a wild celebration among the brokers.

Strengths

Compelling character interactions
Motivational dialogue
Emotionally impactful moments

Weaknesses

Limited external conflict
Some cliched motivational speech elements

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic energy and fervent loyalty of the brokers at Stratton Oakmont, showcasing Jordan's charismatic leadership. However, the transition from Jordan's announcement of his departure to his sudden decision to stay feels abrupt. This could be smoothed out with more internal conflict or hesitation from Jordan, allowing the audience to better understand his thought process.
Jordan's speech is filled with motivational rhetoric, which is fitting for his character, but it risks becoming clichéd. While the audience is meant to feel inspired, the over-the-top nature of his declarations could benefit from a more nuanced approach that reveals his underlying insecurities or doubts about his decision.
The use of Kimmie Belzer as a personal anecdote is a strong choice, as it humanizes Jordan and illustrates his impact on others. However, the scene could delve deeper into Kimmie's backstory or her feelings about Jordan's leadership to create a more emotional connection for the audience.
The dialogue is energetic and engaging, but some lines could be trimmed for brevity. For instance, Jordan's lengthy monologue about Stratton being bigger than any one person could be condensed to maintain the audience's attention and enhance the pacing.
The scene's climax, where Jordan declares 'THE SHOW GOES ON,' is powerful, but it could be enhanced by showing more of the brokers' reactions in real-time, rather than relying solely on the applause. This would create a more immersive experience for the audience, allowing them to feel the collective excitement and chaos.

Suggestions

Introduce a moment of hesitation or doubt from Jordan before he makes the decision to stay, perhaps through a brief internal monologue or a visual cue that reflects his internal struggle.
Consider incorporating more varied emotional responses from the brokers during Jordan's speech, showcasing a range of feelings from joy to concern, which would add depth to the scene.
Shorten some of Jordan's dialogue to keep the pacing tight and maintain the audience's engagement, focusing on the most impactful lines that convey his message.
Enhance the emotional weight of Kimmie's story by including a brief moment where she expresses her gratitude or shares her feelings about Jordan's leadership, making her more than just a prop in Jordan's narrative.
Add visual elements that capture the brokers' reactions in real-time during the climax, such as close-ups of their faces or shots of them cheering, to create a more dynamic and immersive atmosphere.

Scene 36 - Legal Troubles and Personal Tragedies

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 7

202H INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY 202H
(SPRING ‘96)

Janet enters Jordan’s office, leaves a stack of legal
papers on his desk.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Within days, subpoenas started
flying. They were burying me in
paper --

202Ha INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - BULLPEN - DAY (SPRING ‘96) 202Ha

Donnie pisses on a subpoena, to applause.

JORDAN (V.O.)
-- notices to produce documents,
depositions. Donnie couldn’t
drink water fast enough.

202J INT. S.E.C. - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY (SPRING ‘96) 202J
*

As Manny Riskin looks on, Jordan sits across from the
three SEC Attorneys and a COURT REPORTER.

JORDAN (V.O.)
They interrogated everybody, it
went on for months. It was total
fucking harassment...

202K-Q A SERIES OF CUTS -- (SPRING ‘96) 202K-Q
*

Various Stratton Brokers are deposed: Robbie; Rugrat,
Peter DeBlasio, Sea Otter; Chester Ming.

JORDAN (V.O.)
... but not a single Strattonite
cracked. Donnie and I were given
strict instructions not to leave
the country...

202R SCENES 202R - 207 OMITTED 202R
*

208 EXT. YACHT NAOMI - AFT DECK - DAY (SUMMER ‘96) 208

JORDAN (V.O.) *
...so we took our wives to Italy. *
Each of us had a couple of million *
we needed to deposit anyway -- *

ON A DUFFEL BAG FULL OF MONEY just resting on deck.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 110.

JORDAN (V.O.)
-- this seemed the most civilized
way to transport it overseas.

ON ANOTHER BAG, this one brimming with bottles of pills,
bags of pot, vials of coke. Jordan and Donnie cut up
lines as a HOSTESS serves Bloody Marys.

HOSTESS
Can I get you anything else,
gentlemen?

JORDAN
I have a rare condition that
requires me to drink one of these
every fifteen minutes. If you
could set your egg timer, I’d
appreciate it.

She goes. The blow is ready for inhaling. Jordan and
Donnie are doing a “you first, no, you first” routine
with a rolled up $100 when a CELL rings. Donnie grabs
it.

DONNIE
Rugrat! Bongiorno, my bald eagle! *

208A SCENES 208A - 208B OMITTED 208A
*

208C INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - OFFICE - DAY (SUMMER ‘96) 208C
*

RUGRAT
We may have a problem. Your *
friend, Steve Madden, he’s *
unloading shares. *

208D EXT. YACHT NAOMI - DAY (SUMMER ‘96) 208D
*

Donnie reacts as Rugrat expounds.

DONNIE
What?! You’re fucking kidding?! *

RUGRAT *
No. I wish I was. *

DONNIE *
(to Jordan) *
Rugrat says Steve Madden’s *
unloading shares. *

JORDAN *
What?! (Grabs Donnie’s phone) *
Rugrat, what the fuck? *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 111.
JORDAN (CONT'D)
(Hands Donnie his phone) Call the *
sonovabitch! Hold on a second. *

BACK AT STRATTON... *

RUGRAT *
I’m looking at the screen and huge *
chunks of Steve Madden are being *
sold. We’re not doing it so it’s *
gotta be Steve. He’s the only *
person who owns that many shares. *

ON THE BOAT... *

Jordan cups the phone, looks to Donnie who shrugs.

DONNIE
He’s not picking up.

JORDAN
Your fucking friend is trying to
fuck me. And you know where he’s
trying to fuck me? Up the ass.
(back to Rugrat)
I need some time to think. *

Jordan thinks, snorts a line to think better.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Even though I owned 85% of Steve-
Cocksucker-Madden-fucking-Shoes,
the shares were in his fucking
name. Motherfucker knew I was in
trouble with the Feds and was
trying to take advantage.

He gets back on the phone with Rugrat.

JORDAN
Tell all the brokers to sell. *
Drive the price down. Steve will *
go cockless when he watches me *
turn his company into a penny *
stock. *
(he hangs up)
Sonovacunt!
(yelling below deck)
Captain Ted!! Start ‘er up, we
gotta go home! *

The sight of Naomi and Hildy returning from their trip
ashore stops him. Because Naomi’s weeping, Hildy
consoling her.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
What the fuck?! What happened?
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 112.

NAOMI
I got a call from cousin Betty.
Aunt Emma’s dead.

Off Jordan’s reaction as Naomi weeps and laments the
dearly departed: “she was so young, so healthy” etc. --

JORDAN (V.O.)
Fucking heart attack. Boom-snap,
she was gone. Shuffled off her
mortal coil and twenty million
dollars in a Swiss bank account.

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Comedy"]

Summary In this scene, Jordan's office is overwhelmed with legal documents as subpoenas and depositions accumulate against him and his firm, Stratton Oakmont. Donnie humorously urinates on a subpoena, while Jordan expresses concern over the SEC's scrutiny. Despite the pressure, the brokers remain steadfast under interrogation. A trip to Italy with their wives is planned, where they intend to launder cash and indulge in drugs. However, tension escalates when Jordan learns that Steve Madden is unloading shares, indicating a betrayal amidst his legal troubles. The scene concludes with Jordan's shock as Naomi enters, distraught over her aunt's death, adding emotional weight to the unfolding chaos.

Strengths

Complex characters
Sharp dialogue
Tension-filled conflict

Weaknesses

Some scenes may feel rushed
Limited character development in certain moments

Critique

The scene effectively captures the chaotic atmosphere surrounding Jordan and his firm as they face legal troubles, using humor and absurdity to highlight the characters' reckless behavior. However, the transition from the serious implications of subpoenas to the comedic moment of Donnie urinating on a subpoena feels jarring and may undermine the gravity of the situation. This tonal shift could confuse the audience about how to feel about the characters' actions.
Jordan's voiceover provides insight into his mindset and the escalating pressure from the SEC, but it could benefit from more emotional depth. While the humor is present, the stakes feel somewhat diluted. The audience should feel the weight of the impending legal consequences more acutely, which could be achieved by contrasting the humor with moments of genuine concern or fear from the characters.
The dialogue is sharp and captures the characters' personalities well, but some lines, particularly in the phone conversation with Rugrat, could be tightened for clarity and impact. The back-and-forth could be more dynamic, emphasizing the urgency of the situation rather than allowing it to feel somewhat repetitive.
The visual elements, such as the duffel bags full of money and drugs, effectively illustrate the characters' hedonistic lifestyle. However, the scene could benefit from more varied visuals to break up the dialogue-heavy sections. Incorporating more action or physical comedy could enhance the pacing and keep the audience engaged.
The emotional climax of the scene, where Naomi reveals her aunt's death, feels abrupt and could be better foreshadowed. The audience should have a stronger sense of impending doom leading up to this moment, which would make the revelation more impactful. Additionally, Jordan's reaction could be more nuanced, reflecting both his personal loss and the potential financial implications.

Suggestions

Consider balancing the humor with more serious moments to maintain the stakes of the legal troubles. This could involve showing the characters' genuine fear or concern about the consequences they face.
Enhance the dialogue during the phone call with Rugrat by making it more concise and impactful. Focus on the urgency of the situation to heighten tension.
Incorporate more varied visual elements to break up the dialogue-heavy sections. This could include physical comedy or action that reflects the chaos of their lifestyle.
Foreshadow the emotional climax regarding Aunt Emma's death more effectively. Build tension leading up to this moment to make it feel more significant and impactful.
Explore Jordan's emotional response to Aunt Emma's death in greater depth, showing how it affects him personally and financially, which could add layers to his character.

Scene 37 - Inheritance on the Horizon

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 9

208E INT. BANQUE REAL DE GENEVE - SAUREL’S OFFICE - DAY 208E
(SUMMER ‘96)

Jean-Jacques Saurel sits at his desk, calmly smoking as
he talks on the phone.

SAUREL
It is terrible. Your aunt was
such an elegant, attractive woman.
My condolences to you and your
family. You must be --

208F INTERCUT JORDAN ON THE BOAT AND SAUREL IN GENEVA 208F

JORDAN
(no time for it)
Thanks but where does this leave
us in regard to her account? It
goes into probate or what?

SAUREL
Not to worry, Jordan. Your aunt,
before she died, signed a document
naming you as her successor.

JORDAN
She did?!

SAUREL
(a sly grin)
Well. Not as of yet.

And as they continue talking, Jordan pulls out a nautical
map of the Italian coastline:

JORDAN (V.O.)
I gotta say, these Swiss were
sneaky motherfuckers. Within
minutes he made arrangements to
set me up with a forger, the best
document specialist in Geneva.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 113.
JORDAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Thing was: I had to get there in
three business days to co-sign on
the account.

Jordan goes rapid-fire. He yells: *

JORDAN
Captain Ted! Change of plan! *
We’re going to Monaco. *

NAOMI
Monaco, now? *

JORDAN *
Yes, babe. We’re going to Monaco *
so then we can go to Switzerland. *

HILDY
But her aunt just died, we can’t
go to --

JORDAN
I realize that but we have to go *
to Switzerland. *

DONNIE
What about -- *

JORDAN
(way ahead of him)
-- keep calling, when the fuck
picks up, set a meet with him in
three business days. *

NAOMI
We gotta go to London. *

JORDAN
Why?!

NAOMI
The funeral.

JORDAN *
Honey, I loved your Aunt Emma more *
than anyone in the world, but *
she’s still gonna be dead in two *
days. She’s not going anywhere. *

Captain Ted Beecham emerges from below.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Captain Ted, we’ve gotta get to *
Monaco.

CAPTAIN TED *
Monaco? *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 114.

JORDAN *
Then we drive to Switzerland so *
they don’t stamp our passports. *
Take care of business. Drive back *
to Monaco, fly to London for the *
funeral, fly back to New York to *
be there in three business days - *
That’s the fuckin’ plan. *

CAPTAIN TED
I’m getting reports of some
weather out there. Might run into
some chop.

JORDAN *
The boat’s 170 feet long. She can *
handle a little chop. *

HILDY *
We’re not going anywhere until he *
says it’s safe. *

DONNIE *
Chop is fine. *

JORDAN *
Is it safe? *

CAPTAIN TED *
If we take it slow... *

JORDAN *
We can do it? *

CAPTAIN TED *
Chop is chop. Some chop - it can *
be uncomfortable. *

JORDAN *
Well, that’s fine. *

CAPTAIN TED *
Anything is possible. I mean we’ll *
have to batten down the hatches *
just to be safe. Could be a few *
broken dishes. *

JORDAN *
A few broken dishes. Isn’t that *
great? Let’s go to Monaco - *

Jordan, Captain Ted and Donnie rush down stairs. As the *
ENGINE starts... *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 115.

209 EXT. MEDITERRANEAN SEA - NIGHT (SUMMER ‘96) 209

The perfect storm. As the Naomi tips at a 45-degree
angle, a thick wall of gray water comes rising over her
side, slamming onto the bridge with a thunderous CRASH.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Well talk about your shitty
vacations...

Six Jet Skis plummet off the deck into the raging sea.

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Jean-Jacques Saurel speaks with Jordan, who is on a boat, expressing faux condolences for Jordan's aunt's death while revealing she hasn't signed the document naming him as her successor. Eager to secure his inheritance, Jordan devises a plan to travel to Monaco and Switzerland to meet a forger, disregarding the emotional weight of the situation. Despite objections from companions Naomi and Hildy about the timing due to the funeral, and warnings from Captain Ted about potential weather issues, Jordan insists on proceeding with the trip. The scene ends with the boat's engine starting, foreshadowing the tumultuous journey ahead.

Strengths

Fast-paced dialogue
High-stakes situation
Complex character interactions
Tension-building

Weaknesses

Potentially overwhelming amount of information
Some characters' motivations may be unclear at times

Critique

The scene effectively captures Jordan's frantic and self-serving nature, showcasing his prioritization of financial gain over familial obligations. This aligns well with the established character arc, emphasizing his moral decline.
The dialogue is sharp and reflects the chaotic energy of the moment, particularly Jordan's rapid-fire speech. However, it could benefit from more varied pacing to enhance the tension and urgency of the situation.
The intercutting between Saurel and Jordan is a strong choice, as it visually represents the distance between their worlds while maintaining the urgency of Jordan's situation. However, the emotional weight of the aunt's death could be more pronounced, as it feels overshadowed by Jordan's immediate concerns.
The use of nautical terminology and references to the map adds a layer of authenticity to the scene, but it may alienate viewers who are not familiar with such terms. Simplifying some of the jargon could make the scene more accessible.
The character dynamics are well-established, particularly the tension between Jordan and Naomi regarding the funeral. However, Naomi's character could be further developed to show her emotional conflict more clearly, as she seems to be sidelined in this moment of chaos.

Suggestions

Consider adding a moment where Jordan reflects on his aunt's death, even briefly, to provide a contrast to his otherwise self-centered behavior. This could deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
Introduce a moment of hesitation or conflict within Jordan before he decides to prioritize the trip over attending the funeral. This could add complexity to his character and make the audience question his choices.
Enhance Naomi's role in the scene by giving her a more assertive stance against Jordan's plans. This could create a stronger emotional conflict and highlight the strain in their relationship.
Incorporate visual cues that emphasize the chaos of the situation, such as close-ups of Jordan's frantic expressions or the reactions of the crew, to heighten the tension and urgency.
Consider varying the pacing of the dialogue to create moments of silence or slower exchanges that can amplify the tension and allow the audience to absorb the gravity of the situation.

Scene 38 - Stormy Descent

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 6

210 INT. YACHT NAOMI - BRIDGE - NIGHT (SUMMER ‘96) 210

Donnie and Naomi stand on the bridge where Captain Ted *
Beecham holds the ship's wheel with both hands, the radio
blaring in the background. Jordan enters. *

JORDAN *
What the fuck is going on? *

CAPTAIN TED *
Jet skis just went overboard. *

RADIO VOICE
Gale warning! Gale warning! *

CAPTAIN TED
The waves are twenty feet and
building!

JORDAN
Can’t you turn us around?!

CAPTAIN TED
We’ll get broad-sided and tip
over!

RADIO VOICE
Gale warning! Gale warning!

Naomi turns to Jordan, furious with him.

NAOMI
You happy now, you piece of shit? *
We’re gonna drown. *

JORDAN
I’m a master diver. We will not *
drown, I promise you. I got you, *
baby. *
(realizing she’s *
probably right; to
Donnie)
The ludes!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 116.

DONNIE
What?

JORDAN
Get the fucking ludes! *

DONNIE
They’re below deck! There’s like
three feet of water down there!

JORDAN
I can’t die fucking sober!

As Donnie heads off --

NAOMI
What is he crazy? Where’s he *
going? Donnie! *

210A INT. BELOW DECKS - CONTINUOUS 210A
*

Donnie retrieves the ludes. *

210B INT. YACHT NAOMI - BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS 210B
*

Captain Ted stares through his binoculars.

CAPTAIN TED
Jesus Christ! *

TIME CUT TO: *
Donnie returns with ludes - feeds to Jordan and then *
himself. *

JORDAN
What’s happening?! *

CAPTAIN TED *
Rogue wave! *

Jordan grabs Naomi. All at once the boat dips down at an *
impossibly steep angle, until it’s pointing almost *
straight down. Captain Ted jams the throttle and the *
boat jerks forward, rising up the face of a giant rogue *
wave, which curls over the top of the bridge and... *

KABOOM! -- Blackness. Slowly, painfully, the boat pops *
up from beneath the water, its helicopter RIPPING from *
the deck and crashing into the sea. *

CAPTAIN TED (CONT’D)
(into radio)
Mayday! This is Captain Ted
Beecham aboard the Yacht Naomi!
This is a Mayday!
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 117.
CAPTAIN TED (CONT’D)
We are going down at the head
fifty miles off the coast of Rome
and we require immediate
assistance!

211 INT. ITALIAN NAVAL DESTROYER - BELOW DECK - NIGHT *211
(SUMMER ‘96)

Off to the side, Jordan watches as Naomi, their Friends,
and the yacht’s Crew Members dance to blaring techno
music. A small group of Italian SAILORS cheer them on.

JORDAN (V.O.)
The nice thing about getting
rescued by Italians is that the
first thing they do is feed you
and make you drink red wine.
Then they make you dance.

Jordan watches as the dancing continues, then casually
glances out a porthole, where WE SEE the distant lights
of a PLANE making its way across the night sky. After a
few beats, the plane EXPLODES, a tiny flash of light.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Did you see that? That was the
plane I sent for to come get us.
I shit you not, it exploded when
a seagull flew into the engine,
three people killed. You want a
sign from God, well after all this
I finally got the message. I had
to make some fucking changes.

FADE OUT.

212 SCENES 212 - 214 OMITTED *212

24 MONTHS LATER

Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary On the yacht Naomi, Captain Ted battles a fierce storm while Jordan panics and insists on retrieving drugs, causing tension with Naomi, who blames him for their perilous situation. As the yacht faces towering waves, chaos ensues, culminating in a rogue wave that nearly capsizes the vessel. In a desperate move, Captain Ted issues a mayday call as the yacht begins to sink, setting the stage for their rescue.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Realistic portrayal of crisis
Engaging conflict

Weaknesses

Limited character development due to focus on immediate danger

Critique

The scene effectively builds tension with the impending disaster of the yacht being caught in a gale, which mirrors Jordan's chaotic lifestyle. However, the dialogue could be more impactful if it reflected the gravity of the situation rather than relying on humor and drug references. This would enhance the stakes and emotional weight of the moment.
Jordan's character is consistent with his reckless persona, but his insistence on retrieving drugs in a life-threatening situation feels exaggerated and may detract from the realism of the scene. It could be beneficial to explore his desperation in a way that doesn't undermine the seriousness of the impending disaster.
The transition from the chaos on the yacht to the rescue by the Italian naval destroyer is abrupt. While the humor in the voiceover about being rescued is entertaining, it may lessen the tension built up in the previous moments. A smoother transition that maintains the urgency of the situation would enhance the flow of the narrative.
The visual imagery of the yacht tipping and the subsequent mayday call is strong, but the description of the rogue wave could be more vivid to heighten the sense of danger. Using more sensory details could immerse the audience further into the scene.
The voiceover at the end, while humorous, feels disconnected from the immediate emotional turmoil of the characters. It might be more effective to show the characters' reactions to the explosion of the plane rather than narrating it, allowing the audience to experience the shock and realization alongside Jordan.

Suggestions

Consider revising the dialogue to reflect a more serious tone during the crisis, emphasizing the characters' fear and urgency rather than relying on humor.
Explore Jordan's desperation for drugs in a way that highlights his addiction without overshadowing the life-threatening situation. Perhaps show a moment of hesitation or conflict within him before he makes the decision to retrieve the drugs.
Create a more gradual transition from the chaos of the yacht to the rescue scene, perhaps by including a moment of reflection or a brief pause that allows the audience to absorb the gravity of the situation.
Enhance the description of the rogue wave with more sensory details, such as the sound of the crashing water or the feeling of the boat being tossed, to create a more immersive experience.
Instead of using voiceover to describe the explosion of the plane, consider showing the characters' reactions to it in real-time, allowing the audience to feel the shock and gravity of the moment.

Scene 39 - Ambition Over Dinner

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

215 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - LIVING ROOM - DAY (SUMMER ‘98) *215

Jordan, looking healthier than we’ve seen him thus far, *
sits on the couch; stacks of paperwork on the coffee *
table. After a few beats, Naomi enters from the kitchen. *

NAOMI *
Dinner’s ready. *

JORDAN *
I gotta finish these balance *
sheets, babe. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 118.

NAOMI *
Well, it’s there. So the kids are *
gonna start. *

Naomi exits. Jordan goes back to work. Looks up at TV. *
Watches for a bit. *

JORDAN (V.O.) *
What’s the single most important *
skill in life you can ever master? *

CUT TO:

215A THE INFOMERCIAL. 215A

Shot on 90’s-era video, an ad intended for late-night
local tv. The defining idea here is that while the
commercial may be amateurish, Jordan isn’t; he’s an
excellent salesman even if the ad is cut-rate.

WE START WITH FLASHES OF THE SEMINAR: Jordan in front of
a dry erase board, lecturing a small audience.

JORDAN
At the essence of every personal
interaction, of every business
transaction, of every effective
human communication is
PERSUASION... once you learn to
control the linguistic encounter,
you will be SHOCKED at what will
happen... you are a person worth
listening to, and taking it one
step higher than that, you are
someone who can help them achieve
their goals...

215B JORDAN ON THE GROUNDS OF HIS ESTATE, addressing us. 215B

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Do you dream of being financially
independent but struggle every
month just to pay your bills?
Would you like to own a home like *
this one someday but can barely
afford to pay your rent?
(ZOOM IN ON HIM)
My name is Jordan Belfort and
there’s no secret to wealth
creation. No matter who you are,
where you came from, you too can *
become financially independent in
just a matter of months. All you
need is a strategy.
(NEW ANGLE; he enters
from same side as
previous shot)
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 119.
JORDAN (CONT’D)
The first action you have to take
is to DECIDE to be wealthy. When
I was 24 years old, I made a
DECISION not to just survive but
to THRIVE. I started my own stock
brokerage firm, developing a *
SYSTEM OF SELLING that within a
year made me a multi-millionaire.

215C-G A SNAPSHOT OF JORDAN’S CHILDHOOD HOME, then OF HIS 215C-G
CURRENT ESTATE, FOLLOWED BY EXAMPLES OF WEALTH: his
sportscars, Naomi in a bikini, stock footage of a jet...

JORDAN (V.O.)
From these humble middle-class
beginnings, I now live here...with
my beautiful wife and
kids...living the lifestyle of our
dreams...

215H THE SEMINAR. Jordan high-fives attendees. 215H

JORDAN (V.O.)
Now I’m passing along the secrets
to my success in my 90-minute free
seminar, “Jordan Belfort’s
Straight Line Persuasion.”

215J FIRST TESTIMONIAL. A MAN holds a framed check. 215J

MAN
I have here in my hand, framed, is
a check for twenty-seven thousand
four hundred and thirty-seven
dollars and sixty-three cents that
I netted from one deal after
attending Jordan Belfort’s, um,
Straight Line Persuasion seminar.

215K JORDAN, on a yacht with NAOMI and some MODELS. 215K
*

JORDAN
There’s nobody stopping you from *
making millions. There is nobody *
holding you back from financial *
freedom. *
(to Naomi) *
Thank You Sweet Heart. *
(back to camera) *
Don’t just sit at home or the life *
of your dreams will sail right *
past you. *

215L TESTIMONIAL #2. A COUPLE in a kitschy living room. 215L
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 120.

HUSBAND
Thanks to the Straight Line
System, we could afford this home
and now we’re living the lives of
our dreams.

215M A HELICOPTER descends to a helipad. 215M

JORDAN (V.O.)
I’ve changed all these people’s
lives and I can change yours, too!

It touches down and Jordan jumps out to address us --

JORDAN
So come to my seminar!! The life
of your dreams is only a decision
away --

-- and BAM! gets clothes-lined by Agent Denham.

216 SCENES 216 - 217 OMITTED 216

218 INT. CENTRAL BOOKING - QUEENS - NIGHT (SEP ‘98) 218

CLOSE ON JORDAN’S HANDS, at last in cuffs. PAN UP TO
HIM, looking none-too-pleased.

JORDAN (V.O.)
This one takes the cake. It was
Rugrat, he’d been busted down in
Miami, and guess who the fuck
with?

219 EXT. MIAMI RESTAURANT - NIGHT (SEP ‘98) 219

Jean-Jacques Saurel is handcuffed by Feds as Rugrat looks
on crying, handcuffed nearby.

JORDAN (V.O.)
What were the odds? There had to
be ten thousand Swiss bankers in
Geneva and I choose the one dumb
enough to get himself arrested on
U.S. soil.

220 INT. MIAMI FBI OFFICE - NIGHT (SEP ‘98) 220

CLICK! Saurel gets his mug shot taken.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 121.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Even more ironic was he'd gotten
himself indicted on charges that
had nothing to fucking do with me.

Genres: ["Drama","Crime","Biography"]

Summary In the summer of 1998, Jordan is engrossed in completing balance sheets at his luxurious estate, showcasing his dedication to work over family. Naomi interrupts to inform him that dinner is ready, highlighting the tension between his ambition and personal relationships. The scene shifts as Jordan appears in a late-night infomercial, confidently promoting his seminar on financial independence, further emphasizing his focus on success. The emotional tone reflects a mix of ambition and detachment, culminating in an abrupt transition as Jordan is clothes-lined by Agent Denham.

Strengths

Effective character development
Engaging dialogue
Emotional impact

Weaknesses

Some repetitive elements in the infomercial sequence

Critique

The scene effectively contrasts Jordan's previous chaotic lifestyle with his current, seemingly healthier state, which adds depth to his character arc. However, the transition from his chaotic past to this moment of calm feels abrupt and could benefit from more context or reflection on how he arrived at this point.
The dialogue between Jordan and Naomi is functional but lacks emotional weight. While it establishes their domestic life, it doesn't delve into the complexities of their relationship, especially given the tumultuous history they've shared. More subtext or tension in their exchange could enhance the scene.
The infomercial segment serves as a clever narrative device to showcase Jordan's transformation and his continued manipulation of others. However, the tone shifts from a personal moment to a commercial feel, which may disrupt the flow. A smoother transition between these two elements would help maintain engagement.
Jordan's voiceover is effective in conveying his persuasive philosophy, but it risks feeling overly didactic. The audience may benefit from seeing more of Jordan's persuasive techniques in action rather than just hearing about them, which could create a more dynamic and engaging scene.
The visual elements, such as the contrast between the infomercial's amateurish quality and Jordan's polished persona, are strong. However, the scene could further utilize visual storytelling to illustrate the disparity between his past and present, perhaps through flashbacks or symbolic imagery.

Suggestions

Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Jordan before Naomi enters, allowing him to contemplate his past and the choices that led him to this point. This could deepen the audience's understanding of his character.
Enhance the dialogue between Jordan and Naomi by incorporating more tension or unresolved issues from their past. This could create a richer emotional landscape and make their interactions more compelling.
Smooth the transition between the living room scene and the infomercial by using a visual or auditory cue, such as a fade or a sound effect, to signal the shift in tone and setting.
Incorporate a scene or flashback that demonstrates Jordan's persuasive skills in action, rather than relying solely on voiceover. This could provide a more engaging and immersive experience for the audience.
Explore the use of visual metaphors or motifs that represent Jordan's journey from chaos to control, such as contrasting images of his past lifestyle with his current domesticity, to reinforce the themes of the scene.

Scene 40 - Legal Turmoil and Betrayal

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 7
Plot: 9
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

221 EXT. MIAMI MANSION - NIGHT (SEP ‘98) 221

ROCKY AOKI, Japanese, 50s, is led out in handcuffs by a
MAN in an FBI windbreaker.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Something about laundering drug
money through offshore boat racing
and a guy named Rocky Aoki, the
founder of Benihana.

221A INSERT BENI HANA COMMERCIAL -- 221A

A smiling Rocky Aoki looks on as a HIBACHI CHEF expertly
dices shrimp on a sizzling grill.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Beni-fucking-hana! Why would God
be so cruel as to choose a chain
of fucking Hibachi Restaurants to
bring me down?

222 INT. SAUREL’S BEDROOM - DAY (OCT ‘95) 222

Saurel lays on the bed, smoking.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Long story short was Saurel ratted
me out, but not before he ratted
out Chantalle, who it turns out
he’d been fucking every time she
went to Switzerland!

Chantalle emerges from the bathroom naked. Laughing, she
runs and jumps in bed with Saurel.

223 INT. FEDERAL COURT - QUEENS - DAY (SEP ‘98) 223

With his criminal attorney NOLAN DRAGER, 40s, next to
him, Jordan stands before a JUDGE, being arraigned.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I was indicted for money
laundering, securities fraud and
an endless list of other shit.

*
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 122.

HON. SAMANTHA STOGEL *
(leafing through a *
subpoena) *
One count engaging in conspiracy *
to commit securities fraud. Two *
counts securities fraud. One *
count engaging in conspiracy to *
commit money laundering. Twenty- *
one counts money laundering. One *
count obstruction of justice. *
(gives Jordan a *
withering glare) *
Bail is set at ten million
dollars.

The Judge bangs the gavel.

223A US ATTORNEY’S OFFICE - MOVED TO 226A 223A
*

223B INT. FEDERAL COURT LOBBY - DAY 223B
*

Jordan walks with Nolan Drager, who flips through the *
subpoena. *

NOLAN DRAGER *
This is...well, it’s not good. *
It’s pretty bad actually. How *
much money do you have, Jordan? *

JORDAN *
I can make bail. *

NOLAN DRAGER *
I don’t mean the ten million, I *
mean for legal fees. Cuz if you *
want to fight this thing, it’s *
gonna be expensive. Like, sell- *
everything-you-own-expensive. *

224 EXT. U.S. ATTORNEY’S OFFICE - DAY (SEP ‘98) *224

Jordan exits the building. He’s fucked and he knows it.
He sees beautiful Naomi waiting for him beside a
limosine; life isn’t totally hopeless. He approaches.

JORDAN
Nay, thank God. I’m so glad
you’re here.

They embrace. He can’t see her expression: she’d rather
be anywhere else.

225 SCENE 225 OMITTED 225
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 123.

Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Biography"]

Summary In a tense scene set in Miami and New York City, Rocky Aoki is arrested for laundering drug money, prompting Jordan to reflect on his own legal troubles stemming from Saurel's betrayal. In federal court, Jordan faces serious charges, including money laundering and securities fraud, with bail set at ten million dollars. His attorney, Nolan Drager, warns him about the financial burden of his legal battles. Despite feeling defeated, Jordan finds a moment of solace in the presence of his partner, Naomi, who appears emotionally distant.

Strengths

Strong character development
Engaging plot progression
Effective use of tension and conflict

Weaknesses

Some scenes may be overwhelming with multiple subplots and characters

Critique

The scene effectively captures the gravity of Jordan's legal troubles, but it could benefit from a stronger emotional connection to the characters involved. While the dialogue and voiceover convey the seriousness of the situation, the visual elements and character interactions feel somewhat detached. Adding more emotional weight to Jordan's reaction to his indictment could enhance the audience's investment in his character.
The use of voiceover is prevalent throughout the scene, which can be effective for exposition but risks feeling overused. It might be more impactful to show Jordan's reactions and thoughts through his actions and expressions rather than relying heavily on voiceover. This would allow the audience to experience the moment with him rather than being told what he feels.
The transition from the arrest of Rocky Aoki to Jordan's courtroom scene feels abrupt. While the montage of events is a common technique, ensuring smoother transitions between these significant moments could help maintain narrative flow. Consider using visual or thematic links to connect these scenes more cohesively.
The humor in Jordan's voiceover about the absurdity of his situation (e.g., the Benihana reference) is a strong element, but it may come off as flippant given the serious nature of the charges he faces. Balancing humor with the gravity of the situation is crucial; too much levity can undermine the stakes of the narrative.
The dialogue between Jordan and his attorney, Nolan Drager, is informative but could be more dynamic. Adding tension or conflict in their exchange could heighten the stakes and showcase Jordan's desperation. For instance, Nolan could express frustration over Jordan's previous decisions that led to this moment, creating a more layered interaction.

Suggestions

Incorporate more visual storytelling to convey Jordan's emotional state during the arraignment. Close-ups of his expressions or body language could provide insight into his internal struggle.
Consider reducing the reliance on voiceover by allowing Jordan's actions and reactions to speak for themselves. This could create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Enhance the transitions between scenes by using thematic elements or visual motifs that connect the events, making the narrative flow more seamless.
Balance the humor in Jordan's voiceover with the seriousness of the situation. Ensure that the comedic elements do not detract from the gravity of the legal consequences he faces.
Revise the dialogue between Jordan and Nolan to include more tension or conflict, showcasing the stakes of the situation and Jordan's desperation to maintain control over his life.

Scene 41 - Beneath the Surface

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 8
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 7

226 EXT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - POOL AREA - DAY (SEP ‘98) 226

ON SKYLAR AND PARKER, playing with a NANNY and Rocky the
dog. Jordan watches them, sitting by his pool, drinking
an O’Douls, weighing his options.

Donnie pops into the yard, in “Uncle Donnie” mode.

DONNIE
Hey, everybody! How’re the
happiest people in Long Island?
Hi, Rocky!!
(joining Jordan)
Hate that fucking dog.

JORDAN
Tell me about it. It’s getting
old, starting to shit inside the
house again.

Jordan offers Donnie an O’Douls; Donnie declines.

DONNIE
How you doing, brother? How was
the food in jail?

JORDAN
Lobster Newburg sucked. They gave
me some jewelry though.

He shows off the electronic bracelet around his ankle.

DONNIE
Wonder if they got one in my size.
Fuckin’ Rugrat, that wig-wearin’
hump. Tell you one thing: I’m
never eating at Benihana’s again.
Where’s Naomi?

JORDAN
Inside. Pissed.

Donnie sees Naomi in a window. He waves but she barely
registers him.

DONNIE
What’s up her ass?

JORDAN
Had to mortgage the home to make
bail. Probably gonna hafta sell
it to pay my lawyers. If we fight
this thing.

Donnie weighs that.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 124.

DONNIE
The Feds say anything about coming
after the rest of us?

Jordan thinks, then shakes his head no.

DONNIE (CONT’D)
You know, we’re all behind you.
Everyone at the office.
(he removes an
envelope, hands it
to Jordan)
We bought back your mortgage. All
the founding partners threw in a
million apiece. Figured none of
us would have it if it weren’t for
you.

Jordan’s profoundly touched. Donnie squeezes his
shoulder. A real moment of friendship.

DONNIE (CONT’D)
You gotta fight this thing, baby.

Jordan nods.

JORDAN (V.O.)
Like I said, loyalty meant a lot
to me. Without your friends and
family standing behind you, you’re
fucked.

226A INT. U.S. ATTORNEY’S OFFICE - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 226A
*
(SEP ‘98) *

Jordan sits with Nolan Drager across from FBI Agent *
Denham, U.S. Attorney LUCAS SOLOMON, 50s, and Assistant *
U.S. Attorney ROCHELLE APPLEBAUM, 30s, humorless. *

LUCAS SOLOMON *
There’s a term we have around *
here, we don’t like to use it *
often, only when circumstances *
dictate. It’s called a “Grenada.” *
Inspired by our government’s *
invasion in 1983 of the island *
nation of only 90,000 people, *
basically it stands for any case *
we get which is pretty much unlose- *
able. We could show up late and *
drunk to court, fuck up left-right- *
and-center and still we’d win. *
Mr. Belfort, you, sir, are a *
“Grenada.” *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 125.

ROCHELLE APPLEBAUM *
You’re looking at real prison *
time. Money laundering gets you *
as much as 20 years. Case *
couldn’t be stronger if we’d have *
caught you with your cash in your *
mattress. *

Solomon pushes a box full of evidence across the table. *
Jordan eyeballs Denham. *

LUCAS SOLOMON *
Read the discovery. *

JORDAN *
That your life’s work in the box? *

AGENT DENHAM *
Jordan, you rotting in jail til *
your kids’re outta college isn’t *
our ambition here. You weren’t *
the only one involved in all this. *
We think those folks deserve their *
day in court too. *

NOLAN DRAGER *
Why do I get the sense there’s an
offer in the air? If so, let’s *
put it on the table. *

LUCAS SOLOMON
Full cooperation. A comprehensive
list of all coconspirators
spanning the last seven years and
he agrees to wear a wire.

JORDAN
You want me to rat?

LUCAS SOLOMON *
We want your cooperation in -- *

AGENT DENHAM *
Yes. We want you to rat. *

227 SCENES 227 - 229 OMITTED 227

Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

Summary In this scene, Jordan enjoys a moment of leisure at his estate's pool with his children and dog, Rocky, until Donnie arrives, shifting the mood to seriousness as he discusses Jordan's legal troubles and the financial support from their partners. The scene transitions to a tense meeting at the U.S. Attorney's office, where Jordan faces the gravity of his situation and the pressure to cooperate with authorities, highlighting the conflict between his loyalty to friends and the threat of legal consequences.

Strengths

Exploration of loyalty and consequences
Emotional depth
Introduction of new conflicts

Weaknesses

Some dialogue could be more dynamic

Critique

The scene effectively captures the tension between Jordan's personal life and his legal troubles, showcasing the emotional weight of his situation. However, the transition from the pool area to the U.S. Attorney's office feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative.
The dialogue between Jordan and Donnie is engaging and highlights their camaraderie, but it could benefit from more subtext. For instance, while Donnie expresses loyalty, there could be hints of doubt or fear about their future, adding depth to their friendship.
Jordan's internal conflict regarding loyalty and betrayal is introduced but not fully explored. The voiceover provides insight into his thoughts, but it could be more impactful if it were woven into the dialogue or actions, allowing the audience to experience his turmoil in real-time.
The introduction of the U.S. Attorney's office scene is effective in raising the stakes, but the dialogue from the attorneys could be more dynamic. The legal jargon is necessary, but it risks losing the audience's engagement. Simplifying some of the language or adding more dramatic flair could enhance the tension.
The emotional tone shifts from a moment of friendship to a serious legal confrontation, which is effective but could be more pronounced. The contrast between the light-hearted banter at the pool and the gravity of the U.S. Attorney's office could be emphasized through visual cues or sound design.

Suggestions

Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Jordan before transitioning to the U.S. Attorney's office. This could be a visual cue, such as him looking at his children playing, which would heighten the emotional stakes of the upcoming confrontation.
Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue between Jordan and Donnie. For example, Donnie could express concern about the implications of Jordan's legal troubles, hinting at the fear that others might be implicated, which would add tension to their conversation.
Enhance the voiceover by integrating it into the dialogue or actions. For instance, as Jordan interacts with Donnie, he could have fleeting thoughts about loyalty and betrayal that inform his responses, making the audience feel his internal conflict more acutely.
Revise the dialogue in the U.S. Attorney's office to include more dramatic tension. Consider using metaphors or analogies that resonate with Jordan's character, making the legal stakes feel more personal and immediate.
To emphasize the emotional shift between the two scenes, consider using contrasting sound design or music. The light-hearted atmosphere of the pool could be underscored with upbeat music, which abruptly cuts to a more somber tone as they enter the U.S. Attorney's office.

Scene 42 - Divided by Optimism

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 7
Plot: 8
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 9

230 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT (SEP ‘98) 230

JORDAN *
How was Christy’s party? *

NAOMI *
It was fine. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 126.

JORDAN *
Baby, I talked to the lawyers *
again today. I have some really *
great news. As it turns out you’re *
totally off the hook. *

NAOMI *
I know that already. *

JORDAN *
You never did anything wrong *
anyway, right? At the end of the *
day all they really want is for me *
to cooperate - that’s it. *
See, apparently, I know so much *
about what’s going on in the stock *
market that I could save the *
government years of heartache. But *
it get’s even better... You see, *
if I cooperate I’ll only have to *
serve four short years and any *
fine I’d have to pay wouldn’t be *
due til after I serve my sentence. *
We’ll still have plenty of money *
left over. The only thing that I *
was kind of upset about was the *
fact that I might have to give *
them information about my friends. *

NAOMI *
Like you said, “There’s no friends *
on Wall Street”. *

JORDAN *
But there’s a silver lining to *
that too... It turns out that all *
of ‘em are probably gonna *
cooperate too. So in the end, that *
won’t really be a factor. *

NAOMI *
Well, that’s really good news, *
honey. I’m really happy for you. *

JORDAN *
No, it’s good for both of us, Nay. *

NAOMI *
Yeah, yeah. *

JORDAN *
Make love to me baby. Make love to *
me nice and slow. *

NAOMI *
No Jordan. Stop! *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 127.

Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

Summary In Jordan's master bedroom, he shares optimistic news about his legal troubles with Naomi, claiming she is off the hook and that he may only face four years in prison if he cooperates. While Naomi appears supportive, she maintains emotional distance and skepticism about his exuberance. Jordan attempts to initiate intimacy, but Naomi rebuffs him, highlighting the unresolved conflict between his self-centered optimism and her pragmatic understanding of their situation.

Strengths

Intense dialogue
Emotional depth
Character development

Weaknesses

Limited physical action
Heavy reliance on dialogue

Critique

The scene effectively captures the tension between Jordan's self-serving optimism and Naomi's detached response, highlighting the emotional distance in their relationship. However, the dialogue feels somewhat repetitive, particularly in Jordan's insistence that everything is fine and that they will still have money left over. This could be streamlined to maintain the pacing and keep the audience engaged.
Naomi's character comes across as passive in this scene, primarily reacting to Jordan's monologue. To enhance her character, it would be beneficial to give her more agency or a stronger emotional response to Jordan's news. This could involve her expressing skepticism or anger about the implications of Jordan's cooperation with the authorities, which would add depth to her character and the scene's conflict.
The dialogue lacks a sense of urgency or emotional weight, especially given the gravity of the situation they are in. Jordan's casual tone when discussing potentially betraying his friends feels out of place. Infusing more tension into his delivery or having Naomi challenge him more forcefully could elevate the stakes of the conversation.
The transition from the previous scene to this one could be smoother. The abrupt shift from the high-stakes confrontation with Agent Denham to a more intimate setting in the bedroom feels jarring. A brief moment of reflection or a visual cue could help bridge this gap and maintain narrative continuity.
The scene ends on a somewhat abrupt note with Jordan's sexual advance being rebuffed. While this moment underscores the disconnect between them, it might benefit from a more explicit emotional reaction from Naomi, which could serve to deepen the audience's understanding of her character's turmoil.

Suggestions

Consider tightening the dialogue to eliminate redundancy, focusing on key points that drive the narrative forward without excessive repetition.
Enhance Naomi's character by giving her a more active role in the conversation, allowing her to express her feelings about Jordan's situation and the implications of his cooperation.
Infuse the dialogue with more emotional weight, particularly in Jordan's delivery, to reflect the seriousness of the situation and the potential consequences of his actions.
Create a smoother transition from the previous scene by incorporating a moment of reflection or a visual cue that connects the high-stakes confrontation with the more intimate setting of the bedroom.
Expand on Naomi's emotional response to Jordan's advances at the end of the scene, providing insight into her internal conflict and the strain in their relationship.

Scene 43 - Shattered Bonds

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 9
Characters: 9
Dialogue: 8

230A INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - MASTER BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS 230A
*

TIME CUT: Jordan is fucking Naomi. It’s the best he’s *
felt in days. While he’s lost in it, she’s lost interest, *
going through the motions perfunctorily. *

JORDAN *
I love you, Nay. I love you so *
much. I’ve loved you from the *
first time I saw you. *

NAOMI *
Fuck you. *

That stops him. *

JORDAN *
What? *

NAOMI *
I fucking hate you. *

JORDAN *
What are you talking about? *

NAOMI *
You don’t give a shit about how I *
feel. All you care about is *
yourself. *

JORDAN *
That’s not true. What do you mean? *

NAOMI *
You wanna fuck me? Fine. Fuck me *
hard like it’s the last time. *

JORDAN *
Hold still. Why are you moving *
like that? *

NAOMI *
Go ahead, fuck me! *

JORDAN *
What are you doing baby? *

NAOMI *
Cum for me. Cum for me, baby. Like *
it’s the last time. *

JORDAN *
You want me to cum, baby? *

NAOMI *
Yeah, cum for me baby, cum! *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 128.

After a beat... He cums. Jordan rolls off Naomi. They lie *
in uncomfortable silence. *

NAOMI (CONT’D) *
Jordan, that was the last time. I *
want a divorce. *

JORDAN *
What are you talking about? *

NAOMI *
I want a divorce. *

JORDAN *
What? What are you talking about? *
Now? After we just made love? *

NAOMI *
And I wanted to puke. *

Naomi gets up. *

NAOMI (CONT’D) *
I don’t love you anymore Jordan. I *
haven’t for a long time. *

JORDAN *
You don’t love me? Isn’t that *
convenient. Now, you don’t love *
me? Now while I’m under federal *
indictment with a fucking bracelet *
around my ankle? Now, all of a *
sudden, you decide you don’t love *
me? *

NAOMI *
Yes, that’s right. *

JORDAN *
What kind of a person are you? *

NAOMI *
You married me. This is how it’s *
gonna be. Listen Jordan. I’m *
taking custody of the kids. If you *
agree to the divorce right now, I *
will allow you visitation. Don’t *
try to fight it. It will save us *
both a lot of money and I have a *
feeling you’re gonna need it. *

Naomi exits to the dressing room. Jordan gets up, follows *
after her. *

JORDAN *
I’ve got news for you. You’re not *
taking my kids. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 129.

NAOMI *
I already spoke to my lawyer. He *
said even if you don’t get *
convicted I can still get custody. *

JORDAN *
My lawyers are more powerful than *
yours. You’re not taking my kids! *
You vicious cunt! *

Naomi slaps Jordan. Jordan hits her back and exits. *

JORDAN (CONT’D) *
Fuck you! You’re not taking my *
kids. You fucking bitch! *

CUT TO: *

230B INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS 230B
*

Jordan grabs a pair of scissors and starts slashing the *
couch. He retrieves a stash of coke from the couch *
lining. Naomi enters the hallway as Jordan snorts coke. *

NAOMI *
Look at yourself Jordan. You’re *
sick, you’re a sick man. *

JORDAN *
You’re not taking my kids. *

NAOMI *
You think I’d let my kids near *
you? Look at you. You know what my *
lawyers said? You’re going to jail *
for twenty years. Twenty fucking *
years, Jordan. You’ll be lucky if *
you ever see them again. *

JORDAN *
Oh yeah? You don’t think I’m gonna *
see my kids again? Oh yeah? *

Jordan heads towards Skylar’s room. She tries to stop *
Jordan. He knocks her to the ground. *

Jordan charges towards Skylar’s room. *

Jordan exiting Skylar’s room with Skylar crying in his *
arms. Naomi starts to pull herself up from off the floor *
as Jordan races toward the stairs. *

NAOMI *
Put her down Jordan! Put her down! *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 130.

Jordan and Skylar descend the stairs. Naomi pulls herself *
together and follows. *

Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In a tense confrontation following an intimate moment, Jordan professes his love for Naomi, who coldly rejects him and demands a divorce, asserting her intention to take custody of their children. The argument escalates into a physical altercation, revealing Jordan's violent tendencies as he slashes the couch and uses cocaine in a desperate attempt to cope. The scene culminates with Jordan carrying their crying daughter, Skylar, down the stairs, while Naomi follows, highlighting the chaotic and unresolved conflict within their family.

Strengths

Intense emotional conflict
Realistic dialogue
Character depth

Weaknesses

Violent confrontation
Negative sentiment

Critique

The scene effectively captures the emotional turmoil between Jordan and Naomi, showcasing the stark contrast between their physical intimacy and emotional disconnect. This juxtaposition heightens the tension and underscores the deterioration of their relationship.
The dialogue is raw and confrontational, which adds to the intensity of the scene. However, some lines, particularly Jordan's declarations of love, feel somewhat clichéd and could benefit from more originality to enhance their emotional impact.
Naomi's character is portrayed as strong and assertive, particularly in her demand for a divorce and custody of the children. This is a positive aspect, as it gives her agency in the narrative. However, her motivations could be more clearly articulated to deepen her character and make her actions more relatable.
The physical altercation and subsequent emotional fallout are powerful, but the escalation feels somewhat abrupt. A more gradual build-up to the violence could enhance the realism of the scene and allow the audience to better understand the characters' emotional states.
The use of cocaine as a coping mechanism for Jordan is a strong visual and thematic element, but it could be more effectively integrated into the dialogue and actions to show how deeply his addiction affects his decision-making and relationships.

Suggestions

Consider revising Jordan's lines to make his expressions of love feel more genuine and less formulaic. This could involve using specific memories or shared experiences that highlight their past connection.
Expand on Naomi's motivations for wanting a divorce. Adding a line or two that reflects her internal struggle or past grievances could provide more depth to her character and make her decision feel more justified.
Introduce subtle physical cues or actions that reflect the emotional tension before the argument escalates. For example, showing Jordan's nervous habits or Naomi's body language could foreshadow the conflict.
To enhance the realism of the physical altercation, consider including more descriptive actions that illustrate the characters' emotional states, such as hesitation or regret, before the violence occurs.
Integrate Jordan's drug use more seamlessly into the dialogue, perhaps by having him reference it in a way that reveals his desperation or denial, rather than just as a reaction to the argument.

Scene 44 - Desperate Escape

Overall: 9.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 9
Characters: 8
Dialogue: 8

230C INT. / EXT. GARAGE - NIGHT 230C
*

Jordan races through the garage door, slamming and *
locking it behind him. *

NAOMI (CONT’D) *
Violet, Violet! Help me! He’s got *
Skylar! Get the key! *

Jordan putting Skylar in the car. *

Naomi and Violet desperately try to open the garage door. *

Naomi races into the garage. Jordan gets in the drivers *
seat, locks the doors and starts the engine. *

Naomi begs him to stop. Violet presses the garage door *
button. Naomi grabs a tool and smashes the driver side *
window. *

Jordan sees the door closing - he thinks “fuck it” - *
slams into reverse, crashing through the garage door. Car *
continues in reverse, crashing into a concrete pillar. *

Naomi and Violet rush to the car, pull Skylar out and *
bring her inside the house. Jordan sits as blood rushes *
down his face. *

LUCAS SOLOMAN (V.O.) *
Paragraph 1. The defendant shall *
plead guilty to all counts of the *
indictment currently pending *
against him in the United States *
District Court for the Eastern *
District of New York. *

230D SCENES 230D - 230E OMITTED 230D
*

230F INT. U.S. ATTORNEY’S OFFICE - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 230F
*

OFF A “COOPERATION AGREEMENT,” we find -- *

-- Nolan Drager, Lucas Solomon, Rochelle Applebaum and *
Agent Denham all back at the conference table, reading *
copies of the same contract. Lucas does so aloud: *

LUCAS SOLOMON *
Paragraph 2. The defendant shall *
provide information regarding all *
criminal activities of the *
defendant and others from June *
1st, 1990, onwards. Paragraph 3. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 131.
LUCAS SOLOMON (CONT'D)
The defendant shall participate in *
undercover activities pursuant to *
the instructions of the FBI, *
including wearing a recording *
device, also known as a ‘wire’, in *
conjunction with the investigation *
of securities fraud. Paragraph 4. *
The defendant must not commit, or *
attempt to commit, any further *
crimes. *

Jordan’s here, too, looking miserable. He stops Lucas. *

JORDAN *
Lemme just sign the fucking thing. *

He signs the fucking thing. *

230G INT. U.S. ATTORNEY’S OFFICE - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 230G
*

Jordan sits alone, finishes writing a long list of names
on a yellow legal pad.

JORDAN (V.O.)
For the next six hours, I came up
with a list. Friends, enemies,
business associates, anybody who’d
ever known me or taken so much as
a stock tip. The first name on
the list was Donnie’s.

And as Jordan heaves a huge sigh, we’re suddenly...

231 INT. FBI OFFICE - DAY (OCT ‘98) 231

Agent Denham tapes a recorder to Jordan’s inner thigh,
runs a microphone wire up his chest. Agent Hughes *
watches. *

AGENT DENHAM
Talk normally, breathe normally,
within five minutes you’ll forget
you even have it on.

Jordan nods, buttons up his shirt.

232 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - BULLPEN - DAY (OCT ‘98) 232

Wearing a suit and tie, Jordan walks in to the bullpen,
where the Brokers spot him, giving him a standing
ovation. He forces a smile, waves to the crowd.

As Robbie and Chester Ming look on, Jordan forces a smile
as he approaches Donnie, who gives him a hug.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 132.

233 INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - JORDAN’S OFFICE - DAY 233

Jordan and Donnie sit at the coffee table over takeout
sushi.

JORDAN
The trial won’t be for months,
so obviously I’ll be counting on
you to pick up the slack.

DONNIE
Whatever you need, bro. You know
that.

Jordan reaches in his jacket for a yellow slip of PAPER.

JORDAN
And you know how much that means
to me. Hey, you know what I
wanted to ask you?

Jordan catches Donnie’s eye, pushes the PAPER over in
front of him.

JORDAN (CONT’D)
The Steve Madden deal, did he
ever come through on that?

Donnie looks down at the paper, reads Jordan’s writing:

“DON’T INCRIMINATE YOURSELF. I’M WEARING A WIRE.”

JORDAN (CONT’D)
Remember he was supposed to kick
back like four mil from that one
account?

DONNIE
Uh... tell you the truth I was so
fucked up, I don’t really remember
anything about that.

Donnie slips the paper in his jacket, gives Jordan a
look -- “Thank you.” Jordan nods.

JORDAN
Well if you talk to him, let me
know. You want the last
yellowtail?

DONNIE
Why not?

JORDAN (V.O.)
And thus began my career as a
government cooperator. I was a
rat...
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 133.

234 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY (NOV ‘98) 234

Jordan lays alone, asleep in bed. We hear the DOORBELL.

JORDAN (V.O.)
But I wasn’t losing any sleep
over it.

After a few beats, Violet knocks, enters. Jordan stirs.

VIOLET
I’m sorry, Mr. Jordan. You got a
visitor.

Genres: ["Crime","Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a frantic night scene set in a garage, Jordan attempts to flee with Skylar, leading to a chaotic confrontation with Naomi and Violet. As Jordan tries to escape in the car, Naomi breaks the window to stop him, resulting in a crash through the garage door and into a concrete pillar. Naomi and Violet manage to rescue Skylar from the wreckage, while Jordan is left injured and bloodied, highlighting the urgency and desperation of the situation.

Strengths

Intense conflict
Compelling plot development
Emotional depth
Sharp dialogue

Weaknesses

Violent altercation
Drug use
Desperate actions

Critique

The scene effectively builds tension through the chaotic actions of Jordan, Naomi, and Violet, creating a sense of urgency and desperation. However, the motivations behind Jordan's actions could be more clearly defined. Why is he so intent on escaping with Skylar? Is it purely a reaction to his legal troubles, or is there a deeper emotional conflict at play?
The dialogue is minimal, which works well in heightening the tension, but it may benefit from a few more lines that reveal the characters' emotional states. For instance, a line from Naomi expressing her fear for Skylar or a moment of hesitation from Jordan could add depth to the scene.
The visual elements are strong, particularly the imagery of Jordan crashing through the garage door. However, the transition from the garage chaos to the courtroom voiceover feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative and maintain the emotional weight of the scene.
The use of voiceover from Lucas Solomon at the end of the scene serves to highlight the legal consequences of Jordan's actions, but it could be more impactful if it directly tied into the emotional turmoil Jordan is experiencing in the moment. This would create a stronger connection between his personal crisis and the legal ramifications.
The pacing of the scene is frenetic, which is appropriate given the circumstances. However, it may benefit from a brief moment of stillness or reflection from Jordan before the crash, allowing the audience to connect with his internal struggle before the external chaos unfolds.

Suggestions

Consider adding a line or two of dialogue that reveals Jordan's emotional state or motivations for taking Skylar, which would provide more context for his actions.
Incorporate a moment of hesitation or conflict for Jordan before he decides to crash through the garage door, which could add depth to his character and make the scene more impactful.
Smooth out the transition between the garage chaos and the courtroom voiceover by incorporating a visual or auditory cue that links the two moments, such as a close-up of Jordan's face reflecting his turmoil.
Enhance the emotional weight of the voiceover by tying it more closely to Jordan's internal conflict, perhaps by having him reflect on the consequences of his actions as he prepares to escape.
Introduce a brief moment of stillness or reflection for Jordan before the crash, allowing the audience to connect with his internal struggle and heightening the impact of the subsequent chaos.

Scene 45 - The Fall of Jordan Belfort

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 6

235 INT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - FOYER - DAY (NOV ‘98) 235

Jordan descends the stairs in sweats and T-shirt. Agents *
Denham and Hughes are waiting. *

AGENT DENHAM
I need you to get dressed.

JORDAN
Why? What’s going on?

AGENT DENHAM
You’re going to jail.

Agent Denham holds up the slip of yellow paper that
Jordan gave to Donnie. And on Jordan’s look...

JORDAN (V.O.)
Donnie Azoff, my partner. My best
friend.

235A EXT. JORDAN’S ESTATE - DAY 235A
*

A tractor-trailer is parked out front as a group of *
MOVERS carry out paintings and antique furniture under *
the supervision of several FBI Agents in windbreakers. *

JORDAN (V.O.) *
After months of legal wrangling, *
I was finally sentenced to prison. *

WE SEE Jordan’s various cars -- Porsche, Mercedes, *
Ferrari, BMW -- loaded onto a large transport vehicle. *

235B INT. STRATTON OAKMONT III - BULLPEN - DAY 235B
*

Jordan stands addressing his 700 Brokers. WE SEE the *
eager young FACES, hanging on his every word. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 134.

JORDAN (V.O.) *
I gave up everyone, and in return *
got three years in some hellhole *
in Nevada I’d never even heard of. *
Like Mad Max’d said, the *
chickens’d come home to roost. *
Whatever the fuck that means. *

236 INT. FEDERAL COURTROOM - QUEENS - DAY (MAR ‘99) *236

Sentencing. Jordan’s mother is there, tears in her eyes. *

NOLAN DRAGER *
I hope your Honor would agree that *
Mr. Belfort has distinguished *
himself in terms of his *
cooperation in this white collar *
fraud. Mr. Belfort has helped the *
government win convictions over *
two dozen serious offenders and *
helped them recover millions of *
dollars to be made available for *
restitution to the victims. *

HON. RAYMOND SAMITZ *
The sentence of the court shall be *
48 months in Federal Prison. *
(pause) *
Please remand the defendant. *

Max rolls his eyes: Jordan’s so guilty it hurts. As *
Jordan is led away by GUARDS... *

236A INT. STRATTON OAKMONT - DAY 236A
*

Donnie sits in his office, hears something -- a small *
army of FBI AGENTS, led by Agents Denham and Hughes, *
arrest half the office: Sea Otter, Robbie, Kimmie, etc.. *
As the FBI cleans house, Donnie sits on his couch. *

237 SCENES 237 - 244 OMITTED *237

245 INT. SUBWAY - DAY (MAR ‘99) 245

CLOSE ON DENHAM, reading a New York Times article on
Jordan’s sentencing. He looks satisfied with his
accomplishment, until he looks up...

... and realizes he’s right where Jordan said he’d be:
commuting home on the subway, like any other piker.
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 135.

246 INT. PRISON VAN - DAY (MAR ‘99) 246

Jordan rides in back, stares out the window, thinking
about all he’s done. The van stops as it arrives at the
PRISON GATE.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I’m not ashamed to admit, when we
arrived to prison, I was
absolutely terrified...

GUARD (O.S.)
Belfort! Fuckin’ move!

Jordan leaps to his feet.

JORDAN (V.O.)
I needn’t have been.

247 EXT. MINIMUM C PRISON - DAY (SPRING 2000) 247

A tennis ball hits pavement and WE PAN UP TO JORDAN, in
prison fatigues but playing doubles with three other
PRISONERS, all white middle-aged EXECUTIVE TYPES.

JORDAN
Sorry, just out. What is that,
forty-thirty?

As the game continues, Jordan serving, the CAMERA PULLS
UP TO SEE THE WHOLE PRISON YARD: one group of inmates
does Tai Chi while another has formed a book club.

JORDAN (V.O.)
For a brief, fleeting moment, I’d
forgotten I was rich and lived in
America.

BLACK OUT.

Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

Summary Jordan Belfort is confronted by Agents Denham and Hughes at his estate, where he learns he is going to jail for fraud. As movers take his possessions under FBI supervision, he reflects on his cooperation with authorities for a reduced sentence. In a courtroom, his emotional mother witnesses as his lawyer highlights his cooperation, resulting in a four-year prison sentence. The scene concludes with Jordan being led away by guards, marking a significant moment in his downfall.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character development
Tension building

Weaknesses

Some dialogue could be more impactful

Critique

The scene effectively conveys the gravity of Jordan's situation through the stark contrast between his previous lavish lifestyle and the impending consequences of his actions. The use of voiceover allows for introspection, giving the audience insight into Jordan's mindset as he faces the reality of his choices.
The pacing of the scene is well-structured, moving from the immediate confrontation with the agents to the broader implications of his sentencing. This transition helps to build tension and emphasizes the weight of the moment.
The visual elements, such as the movers taking away Jordan's possessions and the FBI agents supervising, create a strong visual metaphor for Jordan's fall from grace. This imagery reinforces the theme of loss and consequence that runs throughout the screenplay.
However, the dialogue could benefit from more emotional depth. While the scene captures the seriousness of the situation, the exchanges between Jordan and the agents feel somewhat procedural. Adding more personal stakes or emotional reactions could enhance the impact of the scene.
The voiceover, while insightful, occasionally feels like it detracts from the immediacy of the moment. Balancing the internal monologue with more external action or dialogue could create a more dynamic scene.

Suggestions

Consider incorporating more emotional dialogue between Jordan and the agents to heighten the tension and personal stakes. This could involve Jordan expressing disbelief, anger, or regret, making the moment feel more visceral.
Explore the use of flashbacks or brief visual cues that highlight Jordan's past successes juxtaposed with his current downfall. This could deepen the audience's emotional connection to his character and the consequences of his actions.
Enhance the voiceover by including more specific reflections on Jordan's relationships, particularly with Donnie and his family, to add layers to his internal conflict as he faces imprisonment.
Introduce a moment of vulnerability for Jordan, perhaps a brief interaction with his mother or a reflection on his children, to humanize him further and evoke sympathy from the audience.
Ensure that the pacing remains tight by avoiding overly lengthy voiceovers that could slow down the momentum of the scene. Focus on concise, impactful lines that drive home the emotional weight of the moment.

Scene 46 - The Pen Challenge

Overall: 8.0
Concept: 8
Plot: 7
Characters: 7
Dialogue: 7

248 INT. HOTEL BANQUET HALL - EARLY 2000’S - DAY *248

CLOSE ON A MOVIE SCREEN: DIFFERENT INTERVIEWS... *

AFRICAN KID *
I watch him speak and what he says *
is motivational about life. He *
tells about life and how you can *
be more rich. *

CHINESE KID *
He is going to teach us how to be *
successful, how to set our goals. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 136.

INDIAN KID *
I will build my future by using *
Jordan Belfort as my mentor. *

MEXICAN KID *
Choosing what is good from him and *
being a millionaire. *

Two hundred people attend Jordan’s “Straight Line *
Persuasion” seminar, watching a massive screen (on which *
these KIDS have appeared). *

ON-SCREEN: THE “JB” LOGO APPEARS, FOLLOWED BY CLIPS OF *
JORDAN giving seminars in different locations (see *
addendum below), edited in with footage of looming *
economic uncertainties. *

Then: a MAN WITH A MIC steps out... *

MAN WITH A MIC *
Ladies and gentlemen, please join *
me in welcoming to Auckland, New *
Zealand... Mr. Jordan Belfort! *

BIG APPLAUSE as Jordan takes the stage, waving. This *
might go on a while. If so, there COULD be TITLES: *

Jordan Belfort spent 22 months in federal prison *
and paid $100,000,000 in fines. *

THEN: *

His cellmate was, no fucking joke, Tommy Chong. *

THEN: *

Since his release, he’s become a multi-millionaire again *
as a motivational speaker. *

When the applause finally dies down... *

...Jordan doesn’t speak. Instead he walks down to the *
front row of his audience, studying faces. He picks one. *
Takes a pen from his coat and offers it to him. *

JORDAN *
Sell me this pen. *

The Kiwi, embarrassed, takes a moment, then: *

KIWI IN AUDIENCE *
Well, it’s a good pen, it’s a *
ballpoint -- *

Jordan takes the pen back with a smile. Hands it to the *
next person. *
The Wolf of Wall Street Buff Revised Pages 3/5/13 137.

JORDAN *
Sell me this pen. *

As the next person tries... *

WE RAKE ALONGSIDE HIS AUDIENCE, transfixed, desperate for *
Jordan’s knowledge, desperate to be molded, to be rich... *

JORDAN (O.S.) (CONT’D) *
Sell me this pen...Sell me this *
pen... Sell me this pen...Sell me *
this pen... *

FADE OUT. *
*

Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary At a motivational seminar in Auckland, Jordan Belfort captivates a diverse audience of aspiring young achievers. He engages them by challenging a participant to sell him a pen, showcasing his persuasive techniques and the pressure on the audience to impress him. The scene is filled with excitement and tension as the audience members grapple with their desperation for success, culminating in Jordan's repeated challenge echoing through the hall.

Strengths

Compelling character development
Engaging dialogue
Inspiring theme

Weaknesses

Lack of significant conflict
Low stakes

Critique

The scene effectively captures the irony of Jordan Belfort's transformation from a notorious fraudster to a motivational speaker, highlighting the absurdity of his continued influence despite his past. However, the juxtap of the kids' interviews with Jordan's seminar creates a dissonance that could be explored further to emphasize the moral implications of his teachings.
The dialogue from the kids is simplistic and lacks depth, which may undermine the impact of their statements. While their innocence contrasts with Jordan's manipulative past, adding more nuanced reflections on their aspirations could enhance the emotional weight of the scene.
The transition from the kids' interviews to the seminar could be smoother. The abrupt shift feels jarring, and a more gradual build-up to Jordan's entrance might help maintain the audience's engagement and create a stronger connection between the two elements.
Jordan's action of asking the audience member to sell him a pen is a classic moment that showcases his manipulative sales tactics. However, the scene could benefit from a more dynamic interaction that reveals the audience's desperation and eagerness to please him, further illustrating the power dynamics at play.
The use of the 'JB' logo and the titles about Jordan's past is effective in providing context, but it could be more visually engaging. Consider incorporating more creative visuals or animations that reflect the themes of ambition and manipulation, enhancing the overall aesthetic of the scene.

Suggestions

Consider adding a brief moment of reflection from Jordan before he engages with the audience, showcasing his internal conflict about his past and present. This could deepen the character's complexity and provide insight into his motivations.
Enhance the dialogue from the kids by incorporating more personal anecdotes or specific goals that reflect their backgrounds and aspirations. This would create a stronger emotional connection with the audience and highlight the contrast between their innocence and Jordan's manipulative nature.
Smooth out the transition between the kids' interviews and the seminar by including a visual or auditory cue that links the two segments, such as a voiceover from Jordan discussing the importance of mentorship or success.
Make the pen-selling exercise more interactive and engaging by allowing multiple audience members to participate in a rapid-fire exchange, showcasing their eagerness and desperation to impress Jordan, which would heighten the tension and drama of the moment.
Consider using a more dynamic camera movement during Jordan's entrance and the pen-selling exercise to capture the energy of the audience and the atmosphere of the seminar, making the scene feel more alive and engaging.