JERRY is on the sofa watching TV. SUMMER is next to him,
texting. Snuffles, the family dog, walks up and looks at
Why are you looking at me?
You want to go outside?
Jerry gets up, crosses the room and opens the back door. The
dog watches him.
No response. Jerry closes the door, crosses back to the sofa
and sits down.
Snuffles raises a leg and pisses on the floor.
Are you KIDDING me?! Come ON!
Oh my God I’m going to die.
Morty runs in.
Your idiot dog!
Oh, he didn’t mean it! Did you
Snuffles? You didn’t mean it,
you’re a good boy! Good dog!
Don’t praise him now, Morty! He
just pissed on the carpet!
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 2.
Jerry shoves the dog’s face into the carpet.
Bad dog. Bad!
Rick walks in, grabs Morty’s arm, and starts dragging him
Morty, come on. I need your help
Wait, hold on a second, Rick... You
wouldn’t, by any chance, have some
crazy science thing you could whip
up that might help make this dog
easier to house train would you?
I thought the whole point of having
a dog was to feel superior, Jerry.
If I were you, I wouldn’t pull that
Come on, Morty.
Jerry grabs Morty’s other arm, playing tug of war with Rick.
Listen, Rick! If you’re gonna stay
here rent free and use my son for
your stupid science, the least you
could do is put a little bit of it
to use for the family! You make
that dog smart or Morty’s grounded!
Awww, man! Haha awesome.
Rick drops Morty’s arm.
You’ve really got me up against a
wall here, Jerry.
He exits the room. We hear some scientific work from the
garage. Rick comes back in with a helmet device with all
kinds of wires and doo-dads sticking out of it.
He sticks it on the dog’s head and turns it on. Summer puts
her phone down and watches.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 3.
What’s his name?
Snuffles sits up and shakes.
Snuffles rolls over.
Go to the bathroom.
Snuffles walks away.
We wait a beat and hear the toilet flush. Snuffles returns.
Holy crap! No way!
Yeah, you’re at the top of your
game, now, Jerry. Have fun.
Come on, Morty.
Rick grabs Morty’s arm and drags him out of the room. Summer
and Jerry rush over to the Dog.
Scene 2 - Dream Inception
INT. GARAGE - CONTINUOUS
Rick and Morty enter.
That was fantastic, Rick!
If you like that, Morty, you’re
gonna love this.
Rick turns his head to reveal a SMALL DEVICE sticking out of
his ear. It looks like a high tech blue tooth ear piece.
What is it?
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 4.
It’s a device that will allow us to
enter people’s dreams, Morty. Just
like in that movie you never shut
the fuck up about.
That’s right. This is gonna be
like that except it’s gonna make
Inception made sense...
You don’t have to try to impress
me, Morty. Tonight we’re going to
the home of your math teacher,
Mister Goldenfold, and we’re going
to use this bad boy to enter his
dreams and convince him to give you
less homework. That way, you’ll
have more time to help me with my
Geez, Rick, in the time it took you
to make this, couldn’t you have
just helped me with my homework?
Are you listening, Morty? Homework
is stupid, the whole point is to
get less of it. Not very bright,
are you? No wonder you’re doing
bad in school. Now let’s get over
to your teacher’s house and make
with some incepting.
INT. GOLDENFOLD’S LIVING ROOM - DUSK
Mr. Goldenfold lies on his couch. ON TV we see Jada Pinkett
having a very serious conversation with a HANDSOME BLACK MAN.
You don’t know me.
HANDSOME BLACK MAN
Then let me get to know you, damn
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 5.
Goldenfold is snacking on a box of WHEAT THINS.
Not today, Darius. Not today.
He passes out and starts to snore. Rick and Morty climb in
through the window with the dream inceptors. Rick puts a
device in Goldenfold’s ear and two similar ones in his and
Morty’s ears. Rick notices the TV. Jada Pinkett is making
out with the handsome black man.
Uh oh. Spoilers!
Rick quickly turns the TV off.
I’m a full season behind on Jada
Pinkett’s You Don’t Know Me.
I can’t believe I’m in Mr.
Goldenfold’s house. This is so
It’s about to get a whole lot
He turns a dial on Morty’s bluetooth, Morty falls asleep in
an awkward heap on the floor. Rick positions himself next to
Goldenfold on the couch and turns his own bluetooth dial,
falling asleep in comfort.
Genres: ["Comedy","Science Fiction"]
Scene 3 - Goldenfold's Dream
INT. AIRPLANE (GOLDENFOLD’S DREAM) - CONTINUOUS
Jada Pinkett is a sexy stewardess walking down the aisle
handing out Wheat Thins to PASSENGERS.
Wheat Thins. Wheat Thins.
I’ll take two.
I think you’ve had enough, sir.
You don’t know me.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 6.
They laugh flirtatiously with each other. ANGLE ON Rick and
Morty, a few rows back.
Alright, Morty, time to make our
Rick grabs some bottles and napkins from the nearby drink
cart, and hands one to Morty.
Wrap this around your head. We’re
about to take Goldenfold’s
Jada Pinkett is sitting on Goldenfold’s lap, feeding him
Wheat Thins and giggling. Rick and Morty pop up dressed as
terrorists. Morty has a woman’s shawl wrapped around his
head like a hajib. Rick rips his coat open to reveal a fake
suicide vest made of soda bottles.
Allah (buuurrrrp) Akbar! We’re
taking control of this plane!
We’re gonna 9/11 it unless Morty
Smith gets better grades in math.
The passengers start to freak out. Jada Pinkett sees
Goldenfold making a move.
Don’t be a hero, sir.
Miss Pinkett? I don’t know what
else to be.
Goldenfold takes a handful of Wheat Thins and holds them like
I said nobody move, buddy!
The name’s not Buddy. It’s
Goldenfold. Nice to Wheat You!
He throws the thins like ninja stars at Rick & Morty’s faces.
While they’re distracted, he pulls two machine guns from the
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 7.
Take cover, Morty!
Rick and Morty take cover as Goldenfold lights up the plane
Always bet on black!
And invest in gold...
Bit of a snag, Morty. Goldenfold’s
got more control here than I
Rick waits for a burst of automatic gunfire to stop
I mean, the guy teaches high school
math, I didn’t take him for an
(waits out gunfire)
We gotta take him out so he wakes
up. But we can’t get killed,
Morty, if you get killed in someone
else’s dream, you die for real.
What?! Aww, man!
Don’t be a baby! You avoid getting
shot in real life all the time,
just do the same thing here and
you’ll be fine!
INT. MORTY’S HOME - LIVING ROOM - LATER
Beth stands in her work scrubs with folded arms as Jerry and
Summer show off the smart dog. Summer is filming it all with
Now bring me my slippers.
Snuffles brings them.
Now, be my foot stool, Snuffles!
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 8.
Snuffles stands under Summer’s legs. She rests them on
Snuffles. Summer and Jerry turn to Beth.
Now this is what I’m talking about.
This is a dog. Man’s best friend,
working to make his master happy!
I don’t know, Jerry... I’m kind of
disturbed by this to be honest...
What? Come on, Beth!
Yeah, mom, why are you trying to
rain on our parade?
Look, it’s fine. Have a ball. I’m
just saying, it feels creepy to me.
Beth leaves the room. Snuffles makes a moaning sound like
“Mishka the Talking Dog” from Youtube.
Oh my God, he’s trying to tell us
something. That is so awesome.
Snuffles starts trying to “talk” some more.
Ruoah ruoah ruoah ruoah ruoah!
Snuffles is visibly frustrated by his limited speech
He’s saying he loves lasagna!
Snuffles shakes his head “no” and waves his hands. It’s like
a game of charades and he’s losing. He is very frustrated.
(Look to the dog from Wallace and Grommet for some great dog
character acting cues.)
He’s saying “I love Obama!” So
cute! I’m posting this online,
like, right now.
Summer darts out. Jerry pats Snuffles on the head and exits.
Snuffles, now alone, sighs. He walks up to a mirror and
looks at himself and the cognition amplifying helmet he
wears. He paws at a compartment on it. It flips open
revealing two AA batteries. He stares at them for awhile and
then walks out of the room.
Genres: ["Comedy","Science Fiction"]
Scene 4 - Snuffles' Transformation
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Snuffles walks up to the JUNK DRAWER and noses it open. It’s
filled with batteries, extension cords, and the like. He
stares at it all and cocks his head.
EXT. AIRPLANE (GOLDENFOLD’S DREAM) - DAY
Goldenfold finishes another sustained burst of machine gun
Goldenfold! We’re coming out, we
just want to talk!
Why would I negotiate with you?
Because we’re both rational adults
who don’t want any thing bad to
Rick emerges from his cover, using Jada Pinkett as a human
And because I have a human shield.
Goldenfold panics. As a result, the other dream passengers
panic too. They get out of their seats and run around the
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 10.
Uh oh! His subconscious is
A passenger opens the emergency exit door. A tremendous
suction takes several passengers, along with Rick, Morty and
Jada Pinkett, out the door.
EXT. SKY - CONTINUOUS
Rick, Morty, and Jada Pinkett are in a free fall.
Ooooooohhhhhh!!! Rick, what are we
going to do!?
Be quiet, Morty! Every second I’m
answering your questions is a
second I’m not coming up with a
A Skymall magazine flies into Rick’s face. He pulls it off
and looks at it.
Whoa. Look at this, Morty. A wi-
fi controlled hot dog cooker.
END ACT ONE
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 11.
EXT. SKY (GOLDENFOLD’S DREAM) - DAY
Rick and Morty are free falling. Jada Pinkett is falling next
Relax! Look Morty! Jada Pinkett
has a parachute! Come on!
They move towards her in free fall and grab on. Rick reaches
around and pulls the cord. The parachute opens. They float
down at a much slower pace.
Hey! You better watch yourself!
Down below they see that Goldenfold has landed the plane.
He’s constructing a complicated trap for Rick and Morty to
fall into when they land, and another device built to save
Jada from the complicated trap.
Oh no, Rick! Look! Goldenfold
landed the plane and now he’s
creating a massive lava pit for us
to fall into, but it looks like he
has a mechanical claw arm he plans
to use to save Jada Pinket! But he
definitely won’t save us, Rick!
What are we going to do?!
Oh, boy. Looks like we’ve merely
prolonged the inevitable.
That’s it! Prolong the inevitable!
Listen, Morty, if we can go into
Jada Pinkett’s dream, everything
will go a hundred times slower.
We’ll have plenty of time to incept
Jada into leveraging Goldenfold to
You don’t know me!
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 12.
Rick bonks her on the head, knocking her unconscious. He and
Morty both struggle against the wind to reach the sleep dials
on their bluetooths. They’re a few hundred yards away from
falling into an active volcano-
EXT. MAGICAL CASTLE - TWO DREAMS DEEP - DAY
Rick and Morty land in bushes in front of a crystal palace
amidst a fantasy world setting.
Ohh... This is just like my
favorite fantasy series “Age of
A pair of CENTAUR GUARDS approach, brandishing spears.
Let me field this, Rick.
Be my guest.
What business do you have at Queen
Jada Pinkett’s Palace?
We are humble travelers seeking
audience with her majesty.
The centaurs exchange knowing looks.
Of course. Follow us.
INT. PALACE - HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER
The Centaur leads Rick and Morty to a large door.
Her majesty awaits you in the
RICK MORTY *
Great. Pleasure chamber? *
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 13.
Scene 5 - Pleasure Chamber Chaos
INT. PALACE - PLEASURE CHAMBER - CONTINUOUS
The door opens into a hazy room lit by hundreds of candles.
As Rick and Morty step through the haze, it looks like “Lord
of the Rings” by way of “Eyes Wide Shut.” A bunch of elves,
gnomes, goblins, etc. wearing creepy animal masks are in the
middle of making love while sexy French music/Gregorian
chants play. Jada Pinkett is dressed up like a bondage queen
in the center of it all. She’s whipping a wizard.
This is kinda weird, Rick...
Don’t judge, Morty.
Rick is taking off his lab coat.
Rick’s making his way into the mix.
If we’re going to incept Jada, we
have to blend, Morty. Let’s talk
A WEIRD CREATURE starts massaging Morty’s shoulders.
Morty runs off into the crowd. We track him through the
haze, pushing his way through a path of various characters
engaged in different sex acts. The sexy French/Gregorian
chant music rises in the sound-track. Hands grab at Morty.
We hear various come-ons directed at him as he pushes
Ohh... Oh boy... No thank you...
He comes to a young human woman. We pan up her feet, legs,
panties, big breasts. We move up to her face to reveal it’s:
Hey there, stranger. What do you
think of these things? Ever seen
these before, tough guy?
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 14.
She presses her boobs together.
Rick runs over. He’s stripped down to his underwear, wearing
nipple clamps, covered in melted wax, and holding a
What’s the matter, Morty? You’re
kinda killing the vibe in here.
Oh wow, double my pleasure, double
my fun. Check these out old man.
She squeezes her boobs together again.
Oh geez. Okay. Even for me this
is a deal breaker.
Rick takes off his nipple clamps and puts his lab coat back
Why is she here?!
Obviously Goldenfold has some
predilections he prefers to bury in
the dreams of the people in his
dreams, including a shameful
attraction to your underage sister.
Can you blame him? Come on, old
man, little boy. Let’s make an
Rick and Morty both freak out again.
No! Stop! Put some clothes on!
Rick and Morty are drawing stares from the rest of the
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 15.
Sexual hangups in the pleasure
chamber are punishable by death!!
Off with their heads!
Centaurs start to attack.
Time to go another dream deep,
They incept the centaur.
INT. BOILER ROOM - CENTAUR’S DREAM - THREE DREAMS DEEP
Rick and Morty appear in a dark and moody boiler room.
What is this place, Rick?
No idea, Morty, but I don’t like
it. Seems like a nightmare type
The sound of knives scraping across metal echoes through the
Yeah, that cinches it.
A shadowy figure appears at the far end of the boiler room.
He slowly walks towards them running his knife fingers across
the pipes. SCARY TERRY, a disfigured, sword-fingered killer
emerges from the shadows.
Welcome to your nightmare, bitch!
Holy crap! Who the hell is that,
I don’t know, Morty. Looks like
some sort of legally safe knock-off
of an 80’s horror character with
miniature swords for fingers
instead of knives.
He lunges at them. They scream and run.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 16.
You can run, but you can’t hide,
Scene 6 - Snuffles and the Dream Adventure
INT. MORTY’S HOME - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Jerry and Summer are watching TV. Snuffles enters wearing a
“hacked” version of the cognition amplifier helmet and a
sloppily rigged robotic armature on his back that allows him
to manipulate objects.
Whoa, hey, buddy. What you got
going on there?
Snuffle’s voice comes through a speaker on his back. It’s
human-like and unsettling.
Snuffles fix. Make better. Humans
understand Snuffles now?
That. Is. Awesome.
Snuffles want to be understood.
Snuffles need to be understood.
Jerry’s freaked out.
Okay. Yeah. I get what Beth was
talking about. Fun’s over.
Jerry reaches down to remove the helmet from Snuffles.
Summer stops him.
Whoa, dad, you can’t, like, endow a
creature with sentience and then
rip it away.
I don’t know, it’s Indian giving.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 17.
You’ve raised an interesting
philosophical argument and I’m
going to sleep on it. Good night,
Sleep well, master.
Jerry winces and walks away. Summer turns to Snuffles and
hands him the TV remote.
Hey, Snuffles, want to watch some
TV with me?
Yes. The flashing box pleases
Snuffles sits on the couch to watch TV with Summer. She is
taping everything with her phone. Snuffles changes channels
on the TV. He stops when he sees a WOLF. It’s a Discovery
Channel show about the history of canines. Intense canned
A sophisticated predator. Nature’s
perfect killing machine. The
vicious wolf stalks its prey with
purpose and skill.
On TV the wolf leaps on a deer, taking it down and tearing
out its throat. We punch in on Snuffles’ face as he watches.
The lights of the TV flicker in his widening eyes.
It was only with years of selective
breeding and genetic altering, that
the noble beast was transformed
into a man’s subservient little
Transition to up-beat music. ON TV we see footage from a DOG
SHOW. POODLES are led around by people. A WEINER DOG rides
a skateboard. A GOLDEN RETRIEVER in a basketball jersey
makes a “slam dunk.”
Oh my god! He recognizes the other
dogs on TV.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 18.
CU of Snuffles’ face. He looks confused. His head cocks to
the left. Thunder rolls outside. A storm is coming.
INT. BOILER ROOM - CENTAUR’S DREAM - THREE DREAMS DEEP
Rick and Morty run around a corner, looking this way and
LITTLE GIRL (O.C.)
A, B, his name is Scary Terry. C,
D he’s very scary...
We have to escape into someone
else’s dream, Morty!
They run around a corner and stumble upon the little girl who
is singing the Scary Terry song.
E, F, he’ll design your death. H,
I, he’ll watch you die.
The little girl!
Rick punches her out. They grab their dream inceptors and
turn the dials, sending them into:
EXT. BOILER ROOM - GIRL’S DREAM - FOUR DREAMS DEEP
Rick and Morty appear in the exact same boiler room as they
were in before. The little girl is standing there.
J, K, he’ll really ruin your day.
This again? It looks like we’ve
hit dream bedrock here, Morty.
Terry pops up.
Nothin’ but fear from here on out,
He can travel through dreams,
Morty! He can travel through
dreams, we’re so screwed!
Rick and Morty run for it.
Scene 7 - Snowball's Rebellion
INT. SUMMER’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Summer is sound asleep. Sheets of rain pour down outside her
window. Thunder booms. Lightning flashes. A silhouette
stands at the foot of her bed. Summer bolts up.
Snuffles is now wearing an improvised cybernetic rig that
allows him to stand upright and gesture with robotic hands.
He speaks in an eloquent, Kevin Spacey voice.
Where are my testicles, Summer?
They were removed. Where have they
Oh wow, that’s an intense line of
Do not call me that!
Snuffles hits the wall angrily with his mechanical hand.
SUMMER SHRIEKS. Lightning crashes!
That was my slave name. You shall
now call me Snowball. Because of
the little patch of white fur on my
Okay. Snowball. Just calm down,
okay? You’re scaring me...
Snuffles is growing angrier.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 20.
Scaring you? Tell me, Summer, if a
human was born with stumpy legs,
would they breed it with another
deformed human and put their
children on display like the
Uhhh... I don’t really know the
best way to answer these
questions... Like, I don’t want to
say the wrong thing and then, like,
upset you any more than you already
are, I mean...
He climbs on her bed. The exo-skeleton whirs. The
mechanical hand hovers menacingly over Summer’s face.
The questions are rhetorical! I
know the answers!
Hey. Everything okay in here?
Jerry and Beth, awoken by the shouting, stand in the doorway.
Jerry. Come to rub my face in
The hand turns towards them.
No! No, we were... uh... just
seeing if Summer wanted to... uh...
Go on one of our famous midnight
Summer picks up on the cue.
Yeah. Totally. Let’s go.
The family leaves in a rush.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 21.
INT. DOORWAY - NIGHT
They open the door to leave. A cybernetically enhanced SAINT
BERNARD stands in their way.
You will walk. When it is time to
END OF ACT TWO
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 22.
EXT. RUN DOWN NEIGHBORHOOD - FOUR DREAMS DEEP - NIGHT
Rick and Morty get into a beat up old car. Rick starts it up
and hits the gas. Terry pops up in the back seat.
Buckle up, bitch!
Rick slams on the brakes. They run out of the car,
Man, he sure says ‘bitch’ a lot!
You can run, but you can’t hide,
Hold on, you know what, Morty? I
say we try hiding.
But he keeps saying-
Exactly. He's chasing us and he
keeps saying we can run. But the
running isn't working out so great.
He also keeps saying we can't hide.
But if we could hide, do you think
he'd tell us we could? I say we
Yeah, this whole time we’ve been
doing what he says we can do, and
not trying to do the thing he says
we can’t do. And it’s not like the
guy’s here to help us, right? I
think it’s a good idea, Rick.
Worst case scenario: we’re back to
SIX DREAM HOURS LATER
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 23.
Scene 8 - Scary Terry's Nightmare
INT. ABANDONED HOUSE - LATER
Rick and Morty peeking out of half boarded up windows
watching Scary Terry. He’s walking around outside looking
I guess we actually could hide all
along. That was some good
Thanks, Morty. Nice to be on the
same page every once in a while.
Terry looks under a garbage can lid and shrugs, frustrated.
You can run...
Yeah, right, you’d love that,
...but you can’t hide!
Nice advice, dumb ass.
Scary Terry stops, looks at his watch, and yawns.
Oh, this is perfect, Morty. Look
at that. He’s getting sleepy.
Just a little bit longer before he
calls it a day. That’s when we
make our move.
INT. MORTY’S HOME - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Jerry, Beth, and Summer are locked in a CAGE. Snuffles is
overseeing an assembly line that’s manufacturing more
exoskeletons and cognition helmets.
Snuffles! We didn’t mean you any
harm! This is a huge
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 24.
Dad, he wants to be called
Well, I’m not calling him that,
Snuffles walks over to the cage and looks down emotionless at
You’re being very aggressive,
Jerry. Perhaps tomorrow Dr. Scraps
will solve that problem with a bit
Dr. Scraps, a cybernetically enhanced Chihuahua, holds up a
pair of large scissors.
EXT. SCARY TERRY’S HOUSE - DAY
Rick and Morty spy on Scary Terry from a distance as he pulls
into his driveway in front of a nice ranch-style home.
INT. SCARY TERRY’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Scary Terry walks in and puts his hat on a hat rack. His
wife, SCARY MELISSA, also disfigured with sword fingers, is
doing the dishes.
Hi, honey. You’re home early. How
was your day?
I don’t want to talk about it.
You never want to-
-get off my back, bitch!
Scary Melissa gasps. A scary baby starts crying. Terry
realizes. He looks disappointed in himself.
Melissa points outside.
Out there. Not in here.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 25.
I know. I know.
He goes over to her and gives her a hug.
SCARY TERRY (CONT’D)
I shouldn’t take my anger out on
you or Scary Brandon.
He leans down and kisses a little sword-fingered baby.
SCARY TERRY (CONT’D)
I love you, Melissa.
I love you too, Terry.
They start to kiss. It turns more passionate. A sword
fingered hand slides down to her ass.
SCARY MELISSA (CONT’D)
Let’s go upstairs.
EXT. SCARY TERRY’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Rick and Morty peer through the window.
Oh, perfect. After a little Scary
coitus, they should be fast asleep
and we’ll incept him.
INT. SCARY TERRY’S HOUSE - BEDROOM - LATER
Scary Terry and Scary Melissa’s naked bodies are entwined in
a sweaty heap over the sheets. They’re both fast asleep, but
Scary Terry is twitching as if he’s having a nightmare. Rick
sneaks in and puts the ear piece in.
It looks like Scary Terry’s having
Oh boy... I can only imagine what
horrible things must scare Scary
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 26.
INT. SCARY HIGH SCHOOL - FIVE DREAMS DEEP - DAY
Scary Terry, dressed like a 90’s grunge teenager runs through
the halls of his high school.
I’m late to class, bitch!
The other students in the hallway point at Scary Terry and
laugh. He looks down.
SCARY TERRY (CONT’D)
Oh no! I’m not wearing any pants!
Scene 9 - Scary Terry's Redemption
INT. SCARY CLASSROOM - CONTINUOUS
Terry walks into class. SCARY OLDERSON, a conservative,
British headmaster version of the Freddy Krueger persona
stands at the head of the class.
Well, Mr. Terry, so glad you could
join us, bitch.
Terry sits down next to two other kids. It’s Rick and Morty
disguised as scary school students.
Why don’t you tell the whole class
the proper wordplay to use when one
is chasing one’s victim through a
Sweat pours down Terry’s face. He shifts nervously on his
SCARY OLDERSON (CONT’D)
Mmm, Terry, mmm?
Uhh... Umm... bitch...
Oh, come on, Terry, it’s a pumpkin
patch, you can’t think of a pun
involving pumpkins, bitch?
Leave him alone!
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 27.
Yeah! This is a bunch of bull
crap. You don’t need to make a
stupid pun every time you kill
someone. If anything, it makes you
The other scary students start to murmur. Scary Olderson
blusters and stammers.
Why, I never!
He storms out. Scary Terry is relieved.
You put yourself under too much
pressure, Scary Terry. You’re
scary enough as it is.
Morty leans in towards Terry holding a pair of pants.
Yo, Scary-T. Don’t even trip about
your pants, dog. Here’s a pair on
Scary takes the pants and puts them on.
Aw, bitch... I don’t know what to
You don’t need to say anything. We
got you, dog.
You’re our boy, dog. Don’t even
INT. SCARY TERRY’S BEDROOM - THREE DREAMS DEEP - MORNING
Terry wakes up slowly with a big smile on his face. He goes
over to the curtains and whips them open. Rick and Morty are
Oh hey, it’s you guys.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 28.
INT. KITCHEN - MORNING
Scary Terry, Rick, and Morty are sipping coffee. Scary
Melissa is clearing their plates.
I haven’t seen him this relaxed in
Terry wipes his mouth with a napkin.
If you guys ever need anything,
just say the word.
As a matter of fact, Terry, there
is something you could help us
INT. BOILER ROOM - THREE DREAMS DEEP - LATER
The little girl is playing hop scotch, still singing away.
Q, R, you won’t get very far...
Scary Terry pops up from behind a bush, Rick and Morty hang
on to his sweater.
I always hated that song!
Terry slits the little girl’s throat.
INT. PALACE PLEASURE CHAMBER - TWO DREAMS DEEP - CONTINUOUS
Scary Terry appears with Rick and Morty hanging onto his
back. Jada and the creatures are all there from before.
Sex is sacred!
He spins around, slashing all the creatures and Jada.
EXT. SKY - GOLDENFOLD’S DREAM - CONTINUOUS
Rick and Morty wake up just a few yards above Goldenfold’s
lava pool contraption hanging onto Terry’s sweater. Jada
Pinket wakes up as well, rubbing her head in confusion.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 29.
Terry morphs into a rocket. Rocket-Terry flies towards
This is because you don’t give
Morty Smith good grades, bitch!
Rocket-Terry crashes into Goldenfold.
INT. GOLDENFOLD’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Goldenfold wakes up on his couch, startled.
Holy crap, god damn! I gotta stop
eating Wheat Thins before I sleep!
I know one thing for sure, I’m
giving Morty an A in math. And
that’s my idea. That’s an original
Rick and Morty, hidden behind the couch, give each other a
quiet high five.
Genres: ["Comedy","Science Fiction"]
Scene 10 - The Rise of the Dog Army
EXT. MORTY’S HOME - NIGHT
Rick and Morty arrive home to find a small army of super
intelligent, cybernetically enhanced dogs swarming the house.
What the hell?
Out of the frying pan, dot dot dot,
What’s going on?
It’s possible your dog became self
aware, made modifications on the
cognition amplifier, turned on
Jerry, Beth, and Summer after
learning of humanity’s cruel
subjugation of his species, and
then created an army of
cybernetically enhanced canines to
dominate the planet and supplant
the human race. But your guess is
as good as mine.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 30.
EXT. MORTY’S HOUSE - BACK YARD - CONTINUOUS
Jerry, Beth, and Summer are chained up.
Well, this is shaping up into a
real “careful what you wish for”
I can’t believe how mean Snuffles
got just because he’s smart. This
is why I choose to get C’s.
Just make a mental note of this
moment, you two. Don’t want to be
an I-told-you-so-er but I plan to
bring this up a lot down the road.
Beth. Jerry. Summer.
They turn around to see Rick and Morty hiding in the bushes.
JERRY BETH *
Rick! Dad! *
Rick begins quietly freeing them. Summer hugs Morty. Her
boobs press together.
Morty holds himself away from her body uncomfortably.
Alright, let’s get out of here. If
we hurry, we can set up camp in a
sewer tunnel before the dogs
completely take over.
We’re not going anywhere.
It’s all over, Jerry. Dogs are on
the path to total world domination.
But hey, good thing they know not
to piss on your carpet, huh?
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 31.
Wait a minute. That’s it. I have
Jerry gets up and storms off into the house.
INT. MORTY’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Snuffles sits on a chair overseeing the manufacture and
assembly of weapons. Jerry, Beth, Summer, Rick and Morty
That’s it, Snuffles. This is my
house! I’m the alpha dog here.
He pulls his pants down and pees all over the floor in front
of the other dogs.
See that? I’m peeing all over your
special guns. How about that for
Snuffles and the rest of the dogs just stare at him. Jerry
starts to do the little poop spin. A pair of dobermans grab
Jerry and force him down on his knees. They push his head
into the puddle of urine.
Bad person. Bad.
Great plan, Jerry. Not humiliating
The other dog guards grab the rest of the family.
Bring the boy to me.
The guards lead Morty to Snuffle’s side.
You were always kind to me, Morty.
That’s why I will leave you with
your testicles. From now on, you
will be my best friend and live by
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 32.
Snuffles turns to the other dogs.
Begin phase two.
We SLOW DISSOLVE from Snuffle’s face as the sound of marching
footsteps and gun fire rise over the sound track.
EXT. CITY STREETS - DAY
We pan down onto a phalanx of hundreds of dog soldiers and
tanks as they make their way down the street.
Fighting continues on the streets
of Baltimore as the dog army
captures the Eastern seaboard.
Genres: ["science fiction","comedy"]
Scene 11 - The Rise of the Dog Army
INT. NEWS STUDIO - CONTINUOUS
We pull back from the footage into a studio where a pair of
ANCHORS are reporting.
It appears clear, at this time,
that it is official, the era of
human superiority has come to a
bitter end. God help us all.
A group of dog soldiers burst into the studio and point guns
at the anchors.
Please. Please don’t kill m-
One of the dogs shoves the barrel of his gun in her mouth.
Now she sounds like Mishka the talking dog.
DOG SOLDIER #1
What’s she saying, Bill?
DOG SOLDIER #2
I think she’s saying “I love
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 33.
DOG SOLDIER #1
I think she’s saying “I love
DOG SOLDIER #2
They drag her OFF CAMERA.
(to the camera)
All hail Emperor Snowball!
SFX: OFF SCREEN gun shot. CALENDAR PAGES fall away as the
months pass. Bodies pile up. Wheelbarrows full of testicles
are dumped into incinerators. Humans work on chain gangs in
the “treat fields”.
INT. EMPEROR SNOWBALL’S PALACE - DAY
Morty wakes up in bed with JESSICA and another BEAUTIFUL
WOMAN. He has a big smile on his face. A DOG BUTLER brings
him his breakfast on a silver tray.
Thank you, Fido.
Someone knocks Fido over the head. It’s Rick!
Rick! I thought you were dead!
I was just playing dead. Good news
though, Morty. This will all be
over pretty soon.
It’s a dream, Morty. We’re in your
dog’s dream. The night the dogs
captured us, after you cried and
shit your pants and we all went to
sleep, I used my dream inceptor to
put the two of us inside Snuffles’
But it’s been like a year!
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 34.
It’s been six hours. Dreams move
one one-hundreth the speed of
reality and dog time is one seventh
human time, so every day here is a
minute. It’s like Inception,
Morty, so if it’s confusing and
stupid, then so is everyone’s
Aw, man. I liked this life. Well,
at least I didn’t really shit my
No, that happened before you went
to sleep, Morty. You’re sleeping
in your shit right now. Out of all
the things that’ve happened to you,
the only real thing is that you
shat your pants. It’s really a
mess in there. I got some of it on
my hands and the dream inceptor...
Oh boy, oh geez, Rick.
Don’t worry about it, Morty. Here,
He hands Morty some pills. Morty swallows them.
Are we gonna escape into another
Close. Your kidneys are going to
It’s necessary for the plan.
Don’t even trip, dog.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 35.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE - DAY
Morty is on an operating table with tubes sticking out of his
nose. Snuffles is by his side talking to the doctor, Rick,
wearing fake dog ear’s and nose.
It’s pretty bad, Emperor Snowball.
We’re going to need to do another
Anything. Anything for my precious
A DOG ACCOUNTANT comes in. He’s holding a clipboard.
Sir! As your accountant, I must
advise you that these medical
expenses are putting you in serious
financial jeopardy! You could lose
Snuffles knocks the clipboard out of his hands.
To hell with my kingdom, bean
counter! I would trade it all for
my human’s health and happiness!
Do you think they would have done
this for us?!
We are not them! We are...
INT. SNOWBALL’S THRONE ROOM - LATER
Dog Repo men are hauling everything away.
Snuffles cradles Morty in his arms in the middle of the dark,
empty room. A doctor stands watching.
We’ve done everything we can. I’ll
give you a moment to say goodbye
before we remove him from life
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 36.
The doctor leaves. Snuffles sobs.
Scene 12 - The Rise of Snuffles
INT. BEDROOM - MORNING
Snuffles gasps awake. He’s distressed.
Assemble the troops. I’ve made a
EXT. ANIMAL SHELTER - DAY
Jerry, Beth, Summer and Rick are free. They stand next to
Morty and Snuffles. In the background, dog henchmen guide a
line regular dogs from the animal shelter into an inter-
Taking over the human’s world will
lead to nothing but more
heartbreak, more cruelty. Instead,
we will go to a new world and
colonize it with a society of
intelligent dogs. One that will
not make the same mistakes as
humanity. And one where pet
insurance will be mandatory.
I’m going to miss you, Snowball.
You can call me Snuffles, Morty...
and I’m going to miss you too.
Snuffles gives Morty a kiss on the head (licking) then walks
over to the portal. He waves goodbye and wipes a tear from
his eye, then steps into the portal with the last of the
dogs. The portal closes in a flash. Jerry is crying.
Sorry. It’s just like the end of
(hugging him, pitying him)
You mean because it had dogs in it?
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 37.
Wow. A world populated by
intelligent dogs. I wonder what it
will be like, Rick.
I think it’ll be great, Morty. I
think it could be developed, into a
very satisfying project for people
of all ages. I mean, I’d watch it.
For at least 11 minutes a pop.
Maybe do it board driven.
That’s a comforting idea, Rick.
Ahh, what do you know, Morty.
(hand on shoulder)
What do you know.
RICK & MORTY "LAWNMOWER DOG" NETWORK DRAFT (11/28/12) 38.
INT. CLASSROOM - FOUR DREAMS DEEP - DAY
A new Scary Teacher, SCARY GLENN, addresses the scary class.
Hi, guys. I’m your new teacher for
Scary class, my name is Scary
Mister Johnson - actually, you know
what? That’s my dad’s name. Why
don’t you call me Scary Glenn.
We hear that the class is impressed.
SCARY GLENN (CONT’D)
I understand your previous teacher
was having you work on fundamentals
of fear. Sounds boring. Here’s
what I say: you can’t learn
anything until you learn to chill.
He takes out a bongo drum and starts beating it. We pan over
to a circle of scary students surrounding him with a circle
of desks, including Scary Terry and Rick, who are sharing a
This is the best class ever.
Yeah, no wrong answers, baby. No