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Scene Map 60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
EXT GOLF COURSE DAY
2 4
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/POND MORNING
3 5
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/FENCE LINE DAY
4 8
INT STONE MOUNTAIN GENERAL STORE/SERVICE STATION DAY
5 12
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN GENERAL STORE/SERVICE STATION DAY
6 15
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/STONE GATE MORNING
7 16
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/GROUNDS MORNING
8 17
INT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/PRO SHOP MORNING
9 19
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/DRIVING RANGE MORNING
10 23
INT OLIVER’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM MORNING
11 25
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/8TH HOLE MORNING
12 26
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CHURCH MORNING
13 28
EXT RIVERBANK MORNING
14 31
INT WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM DAY
15 33
INT THE GENERALS HOUSE/GREAT ROOM EVENING
16 35
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN HIGH SCHOOL AFTERNOON
17 38
EXT UPPER-MIDDLE-CLASS HOME/BACK DOOR EVENING
18 39
INT BLUEBIRD BAR EVENING
19 40
EXT WILLIE’S HOUSE/BACK YARD NIGHT
20 42
INT STONE MOUNTAIN HIGH SCHOOL/GYMNASIUM AFTERNOON
21 42
INT WILLIE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN EVENING
22 45
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/1ST HOLE DAY
23 46
EXT OLIVER’S HOUSE AFTERNOON
24 49
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE DAY
25 50
EXT JUNGLE PRISON CAMP MORNING
26 53
INT BAMBOO POW HUT DAY
27 56
INT BAMBOO POW HUT DAY
28 58
INT BAMBOO POW HUT NIGHT
29 60
INT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CHURCH DAY
30 61
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE PRISON CAMP/GRAVE SITE DUSK
31 62
INT CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE WASHINGTON, DC MORNING
32 64
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE PRISON CAMP/POLE MORNING
33 65
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE/RICE PADDY DAY
34 66
INT BAMBOO POW HUT DAY
35 67
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE TRAIL DAY
36 69
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE/DUST OFF L.Z. DAY
37 70
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE DUSK
38 72
EXT COUNTRY GRAVEL ROAD DAY
39 74
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE POW CAMP DAY
40 75
INT VA HOSPITAL/DOCTOR’S OFFICE DAY
41 77
EXT WILLIE’S HOUSE EVENING
42 78
EXT KMART PARKING LOT DAY
43 79
INT WILLIE’S APT. DAY
44 81
EXT ATLANTA SUBURBS MORNING
45 83
INT WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT PORCH DAY
46 84
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/TEE BOX MORNING
47 86
INT WILLIE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN DAY
48 89
INT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/CADDY SHACK DAY
49 90
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB - MONTAGE
50 92
EXT GOLF COURSE/LOUISIANA DAY
51 93
INT 1977 CADILLAC DUSK
52 96
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN BLACK-NEIGHBORHOOD EVENING
53 97
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/PUTTING GREEN MORNING
54 99
INT STONE MOUNTAIN HOSPITAL/ICU MORNING
55 101
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/DRIVING RANGE NIGHT
56 103
INT WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM MORNING
57 105
INT TRAILER HOUSE DAY
58 106
EXT CREE-ATION SAWMILL DAY
59 108
EXT SIDE OF THE ROAD DUSK
60 110
EXT SOUTH CAROLINA GOLF COURSE DAY
Scene Map
60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
EXT GOLF COURSE DAY
EXT. GOLF COURSE - DAY
KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN Written by R.J. Joseph & Terry Haskell Moccasin Path Productions PO Box 4484
2 4
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/POND MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/POND - MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/POND - MORNING Beneath a clear blue sky, a 10-year-old AFRICAN AMERICAN BOY executes a beautiful and graceful SWAN DIVE. We follow this poetic image into the water, deeper and deeper, until he finally reaches the bottom... This is young Willie.
3 5
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/FENCE LINE DAY
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/FENCE LINE - DAY
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/FENCE LINE - DAY Willie stops at a ditch alongside the fence and washes his feet in a small puddle of water. He uses a crumpled-up piece of newspaper to dry them when he hears a VOICE. VOICE (O.S.)
4 8
INT STONE MOUNTAIN GENERAL STORE/SERVICE STATION DAY
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN GENERAL STORE/SERVICE STATION - DAY
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN GENERAL STORE/SERVICE STATION - DAY This typical small-town, one-stop-shop family store has it all: post office, ice cream soda fountain, hardware/mercantile, and gas. The screen door opens, and in walks young Willie with an
5 12
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN GENERAL STORE/SERVICE STATION DAY
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN GENERAL STORE/SERVICE STATION - DAY
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN GENERAL STORE/SERVICE STATION - DAY As the family exits with their bag of groceries, the General sits on a bench that decorates the shaded wooden porch. He looks at a B&W PHOTO of a young interracial couple in front of the Eiffel Tower from his wallet. When he stands to
6 15
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/STONE GATE MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/STONE GATE - MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/STONE GATE - MORNING The General paces back and forth, checking his wristwatch. He looks up the road and sees Willie running towards him. Willie is wearing a new pair of black pants and a new white shirt, and carrying a pair of black-and-white high-top P.F.
7 16
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/GROUNDS MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/GROUNDS - MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/GROUNDS - MORNING The General leads Willie into the country club grounds. As they approach the Security Building, the guard comes out. GUARD Morning, General.
8 17
INT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/PRO SHOP MORNING
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/PRO SHOP - MORNING
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/PRO SHOP - MORNING Willie and The General enter the club’s Pro Shop and equipment room with the latest golfing wardrobe and paraphernalia.
9 19
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/DRIVING RANGE MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/DRIVING RANGE - MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/DRIVING RANGE - MORNING As Willie looks out over the green grass, he sees hundreds and hundreds of white golf balls. He’s in heaven! He also notices the other white golfers have stopped to look at him. The General has other thoughts.
10 23
INT OLIVER’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM MORNING
INT. OLIVER’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM - MORNING
INT. OLIVER’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM - MORNING We see the front room of an older-style home with ordinary furnishings. On the well-used couch, a BODY lies under a patchwork quilt. We hear the sounds of light SNORING. An old cabinet RADIO is playing country music in the corner.
11 25
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/8TH HOLE MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/8TH HOLE - MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/8TH HOLE - MORNING It’s a bright spring morning. Willie and The General are playing a match round with THREE of The General’s CONSTITUENTS. They are waiting to hit their second shot when BYRON PHELPS,
12 26
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CHURCH MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CHURCH - MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CHURCH - MORNING A rural place of worship on the outskirts of town is surrounded by cypress trees and rolling hills. The black fellowship, wearing their Sunday best, files out of the church.
13 28
EXT RIVERBANK MORNING
EXT. RIVERBANK - MORNING
EXT. RIVERBANK - MORNING Cricket runs ahead of Willie, hopping from rock to rock. She stops to pick some flowers. WILLIE Stay away from the water. You’re
14 31
INT WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM DAY
INT. WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM - DAY
INT. WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM - DAY Willie walks in the front door; his whole family is waiting. Cricket sits with Gramma on the couch, crying. Ma walks over to inspect Willie’s swollen face. Pa paces back and forth as he watches the family crisis unfold.
15 33
INT THE GENERALS HOUSE/GREAT ROOM EVENING
INT. THE GENERALS HOUSE/GREAT ROOM - EVENING
INT. THE GENERALS HOUSE/GREAT ROOM - EVENING This room consists of The General’s life history. WAR MEDALS, PLAQUES, AND MILITARY MEMENTOS from years gone by. GOLFING TROPHIES line the mantel of his big stone fireplace. The General relaxes in a big leather chair, sipping brandy
16 35
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN HIGH SCHOOL AFTERNOON
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN HIGH SCHOOL - AFTERNOON
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN HIGH SCHOOL - AFTERNOON The General sits in his 1966 Cadillac listening to a newscast of a VIETNAM WAR PROTEST on the radio, watching closely as the student body pours out of the front doors. The General looks at his wristwatch. It reads 3:15 P.M.
17 38
EXT UPPER-MIDDLE-CLASS HOME/BACK DOOR EVENING
EXT. UPPER-MIDDLE-CLASS HOME/BACK DOOR - EVENING
EXT. UPPER-MIDDLE-CLASS HOME/BACK DOOR - EVENING We hear a familiar VOICE coming from behind the screen door. MA (O.S.) Let Mrs. Gordon know I’ll have these back first thing tomorrow.
18 39
INT BLUEBIRD BAR EVENING
INT. BLUEBIRD BAR - EVENING
INT. BLUEBIRD BAR - EVENING Jim walks through the crowded bar and finds Lewis sitting on a barstool, watching the black-and-white TV with all the other patrons. STOCK FOOTAGE:
19 40
EXT WILLIE’S HOUSE/BACK YARD NIGHT
EXT. WILLIE’S HOUSE/BACK YARD - NIGHT
EXT. WILLIE’S HOUSE/BACK YARD - NIGHT Willie, Ma, Cricket, and Gramma are in the backyard watching the building fires light the skyline of downtown Stone Mountain. The sound of sirens fills the air. Pa walks into the backyard carrying a rifle. Cricket runs to
20 42
INT STONE MOUNTAIN HIGH SCHOOL/GYMNASIUM AFTERNOON
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN HIGH SCHOOL/GYMNASIUM - AFTERNOON
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN HIGH SCHOOL/GYMNASIUM - AFTERNOON The senior boy class of 1968 listens to a WHITE Military recruiter. Willie walks in and sits with Newt and Elijah. RECRUITER I want to thank you, young men, for
21 42
INT WILLIE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN EVENING
INT. WILLIE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN - EVENING
INT. WILLIE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN - EVENING The General and Gramma sit at the kitchen table while Ma pours them a glass of apple cider iced tea. THE GENERAL Because he is such an accomplished
22 45
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/1ST HOLE DAY
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/1ST HOLE - DAY
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/1ST HOLE - DAY On this sunny day, we find Willie and The General on the putting green. Willie lines up The General’s putt. WILLIE Sir, this should break a half cup
23 46
EXT OLIVER’S HOUSE AFTERNOON
EXT. OLIVER’S HOUSE - AFTERNOON
EXT. OLIVER’S HOUSE - AFTERNOON A teenage Cricket looks in the mailbox. Excitement fills her face as she runs towards the house. CRICKET Ma, Pa, we gotta a letter from
24 49
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE DAY
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE - DAY
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE - DAY The loud and terrifying yelling of the VIETCONG GORILLAS (VC) startles Willie awake. He discovers that half a dozen VCs have surrounded him at gunpoint. Shock courses through Willie as they hoist him to his feet,
25 50
EXT JUNGLE PRISON CAMP MORNING
EXT. JUNGLE PRISON CAMP - MORNING
EXT. JUNGLE PRISON CAMP - MORNING TELETYPE ACROSS THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN: “0-700 AUGUST 12, 1969 - JUNGLE PRISON CAMP VIETNAM” Once inside, the gates close behind Willie, and he sees six small bamboo huts camouflaged with mud and elephant grass.
26 53
INT BAMBOO POW HUT DAY
INT. BAMBOO POW HUT - DAY
INT. BAMBOO POW HUT - DAY Willie winces as a sudden flash of sunlight bursts into his cold, dark hut. He crawls to a corner and covers his head as VC #1 throws a pair of BLACK PAJAMA BOTTOMS at him. VC #1
27 56
INT BAMBOO POW HUT DAY
INT. BAMBOO POW HUT - DAY
INT. BAMBOO POW HUT - DAY The sound of flies buzzing in unison with Willie’s voice. WILLIE They will come and get us. They won’t leave us here. They won’t.
28 58
INT BAMBOO POW HUT NIGHT
INT. BAMBOO POW HUT - NIGHT
INT. BAMBOO POW HUT - NIGHT A loud clap of thunder awakens Willie. He stares at the thatched roof and listens to the sound of the heavy rain. Willie digs a hole in the dirt, scrapes the maggots from his wound into the hole, and buries them. With his wound raw and
29 60
INT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CHURCH DAY
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CHURCH - DAY
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CHURCH - DAY Gramma sits alone in the front pew while clutching a Bible and praying. GRAMMA Dear Lord, please hear my prayers.
30 61
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE PRISON CAMP/GRAVE SITE DUSK
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE PRISON CAMP/GRAVE SITE - DUSK
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE PRISON CAMP/GRAVE SITE - DUSK Willie and Dai-we are in a waist-deep hole digging with makeshift shovels. The others are wrapping the pilot’s body in banana leaves. WILLIE
31 62
INT CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE WASHINGTON, DC MORNING
INT. CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE WASHINGTON, DC - MORNING
INT. CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE WASHINGTON, DC - MORNING The General gazes out his office window-miles away, as he watches the cherry blossoms on this breezy spring day. The BUZZER of his speakerphone brings him back. SPEAKER (O.S.)
32 64
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE PRISON CAMP/POLE MORNING
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE PRISON CAMP/POLE - MORNING
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE PRISON CAMP/POLE - MORNING Nang sits in the shade, watching Willie. He motions to his guards to take Willie away. The guards untie Willie from the pole, then throw him face- first into his hut and shut the door.
33 65
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE/RICE PADDY DAY
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE/RICE PADDY - DAY
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE/RICE PADDY - DAY Through the tears in his eyes, he see’s the rice paddy slowly transform into a GREEN GOLF COURSE. The VIETCONG FLAG now flies on the PIN FOR THE #1 HOLE. INT. BAMBOO POW HUT - DAY
34 66
INT BAMBOO POW HUT DAY
INT. BAMBOO POW HUT - DAY
INT. BAMBOO POW HUT - DAY Willie rolls over onto his back. WILLIE Perfect shot. After a moment, Willie stands up to practice his IMAGINARY
35 67
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE TRAIL DAY
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE TRAIL - DAY (FLASHBACK)
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE TRAIL - DAY (FLASHBACK) Willie walks in the middle of his 12-man patrol. Jack is in front of him, twenty-five feet apart. Addington is on point, and all is quiet until, unexpectedly, the patrol walks into a horseshoe ambush. Struck from all
36 69
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE/DUST OFF L.Z. DAY
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE/DUST OFF L.Z. - DAY
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE/DUST OFF L.Z. - DAY Willie and Jack carry the dead Lieutenant. In a body bag through the drifting yellow smoke. They set him down next to the wounded radioman and watch the medi-vac and the two Cobra escorts come over the treetops.
37 70
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE DUSK
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE - DUSK
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE - DUSK Jack leads Willie back into the jungle and shows him the remnants of an overgrown BUDDHIST TEMPLE. They sit on a large carved stone. JACK
38 72
EXT COUNTRY GRAVEL ROAD DAY
EXT. COUNTRY GRAVEL ROAD - DAY
EXT. COUNTRY GRAVEL ROAD - DAY A 1970 OLIVE GREEN CHEVY four-door sedan kicks up a trail of dust as we follow it into the driveway of an isolated farmhouse. Two young MILITARY OFFICERS in their class A uniforms get out
39 74
EXT VIETNAM JUNGLE POW CAMP DAY
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE POW CAMP - DAY
EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE POW CAMP - DAY Willie sees a team of six GREEN BERET COMMANDOS searching the compound. Dead VC guards are lying about. In the middle, by his pole, Utah Watson drinks water from a canteen with the help of a commando.
40 75
INT VA HOSPITAL/DOCTOR’S OFFICE DAY
INT. VA HOSPITAL/DOCTOR’S OFFICE - DAY
INT. VA HOSPITAL/DOCTOR’S OFFICE - DAY DR. FRANKLIN, an older white military doctor in his late 50s, sits at his desk reviewing a file. DR. FRANKLIN You have been here at the VA for 14
41 77
EXT WILLIE’S HOUSE EVENING
EXT. WILLIE’S HOUSE - EVENING
EXT. WILLIE’S HOUSE - EVENING The old house looks dimmer with its faded paint. Towering tree branches reach into the sky, a witness to time gone by. Pa sits on the screened porch, rocking in his favorite chair. Ma comes out of the house and sits down next to him.
42 78
EXT KMART PARKING LOT DAY
EXT. KMART PARKING LOT - DAY
EXT. KMART PARKING LOT - DAY The General walks toward the store when he spots Cricket. She’s grown into an attractive young woman. Cricket loads groceries into her car as The General approaches.
43 79
INT WILLIE’S APT. DAY
INT. WILLIE’S APT. - DAY
INT. WILLIE’S APT. - DAY Willie sips coffee at his small kitchen table tucked into the corner of his modest studio apartment. KNOCK, KNOCK. Willie opens the door; Pa stands on the other side. WILLIE
44 81
EXT ATLANTA SUBURBS MORNING
EXT. ATLANTA SUBURBS - MORNING
EXT. ATLANTA SUBURBS - MORNING The streets are quiet as the morning sun warms the day. Willie stops, sensing something. He looks over his shoulder through a chain-link fence and slowly smiles. WILLIE’S POV
45 83
INT WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT PORCH DAY
INT. WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT PORCH - DAY
INT. WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT PORCH - DAY Ma stands on a chair, washing the window, when she sees a taxi cab pull up in front of the house. She can’t believe her eyes when she sees Willie get out of the cab. MA
46 84
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/TEE BOX MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/TEE BOX - MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/TEE BOX - MORNING Willie approaches the first tee. He moves a little slower, almost anticipating each step. Willie seems somewhat distant and foreign in these familiar surroundings. Waiting at the tee box stands the 70-year-old General. He has
47 86
INT WILLIE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN DAY
INT. WILLIE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN - DAY
INT. WILLIE'S HOUSE/KITCHEN - DAY Willie sits at the kitchen table eating breakfast with Pa. Ma hands Pa a cup of coffee. MA
48 89
INT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/CADDY SHACK DAY
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/CADDY SHACK - DAY
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/CADDY SHACK - DAY We see an older, heavier Smitty lecturing a new group of young caddies. It’s a diverse mix of black and white young men. SMITTY
49 90
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB - MONTAGE
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB - MONTAGE
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB - MONTAGE A series of shots of Willie preparing for the golf tour over 12 months. Many wardrobe changes. Season changes, too. - Smitty introduces Willie to a WHITE teaching Pro.
50 92
EXT GOLF COURSE/LOUISIANA DAY
EXT. GOLF COURSE/LOUISIANA - DAY
EXT. GOLF COURSE/LOUISIANA - DAY The LEADER BOARD reads, “Willie Jackson, Digger Green, tied after 63 holes.” We see an ALL-WHITE GALLERY as Willie walks towards the 18th green. The crowd quiets as the favorite, Digger Green, settles over
51 93
INT 1977 CADILLAC DUSK
INT. 1977 CADILLAC - DUSK
INT. 1977 CADILLAC - DUSK Willie drives as they head for home. The General sits in the passenger seat reading a GOLF DIGEST. THE GENERAL
52 96
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN BLACK-NEIGHBORHOOD EVENING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN BLACK-NEIGHBORHOOD - EVENING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN BLACK-NEIGHBORHOOD - EVENING Willie drives his new Dodge Dart. Stopping at a stop sign, he hears loud music. He notices his sister, Cricket. Willie smiles and turns the wheel to drive towards her. He stops in front of the run-down apartment building.
53 97
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/PUTTING GREEN MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/PUTTING GREEN - MORNING
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/PUTTING GREEN - MORNING Willie sits alone on a bench by the putting green as The General approaches in a golf cart. THE GENERAL What’s so important that you have
54 99
INT STONE MOUNTAIN HOSPITAL/ICU MORNING
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN HOSPITAL/ICU - MORNING
INT. STONE MOUNTAIN HOSPITAL/ICU - MORNING The General lies on a hospital bed with a RESPIRATOR over his mouth and nose and an I.V. inserted into the top of his right hand. Willie, drained and concerned, sits holding the general’s
55 101
EXT STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/DRIVING RANGE NIGHT
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/DRIVING RANGE - NIGHT
EXT. STONE MOUNTAIN COUNTRY CLUB/DRIVING RANGE - NIGHT Willie positions himself over his golf ball. Adjusting his feet, he taps the club-head of the seven-iron behind the ball. He pauses, takes a deep breath, and begins his swing. Coming
56 103
INT WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM MORNING
INT. WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM - MORNING
INT. WILLIE’S HOUSE/FRONT ROOM - MORNING Willie is hungover as he walks into the front room. Ma sits on the couch with Pa while Cricket stands looking out of the window. MA
57 105
INT TRAILER HOUSE DAY
INT. TRAILER HOUSE - DAY
INT. TRAILER HOUSE - DAY A B&W newspaper photo of Willie’s winning pose in Louisiana, throwing the golf ball in the air. It’s the sports page of the SALT LAKE CITY TRIBUNE. A body turns, revealing Utah Watson. He’s older now and looks more
58 106
EXT CREE-ATION SAWMILL DAY
EXT. CREE-ATION SAWMILL - DAY
EXT. CREE-ATION SAWMILL - DAY We see the back of a lumberjack with a long black hair braid coming out from underneath his bandana. Utah approaches and taps the man on the shoulder. He turns. It’s Johnny White- Eagle.
59 108
EXT SIDE OF THE ROAD DUSK
EXT. SIDE OF THE ROAD - DUSK
EXT. SIDE OF THE ROAD - DUSK Johnny jacks up the El Camino while Utah takes the lug nuts off the rim. UTAH Hey, did you keep in touch with
60 110
EXT SOUTH CAROLINA GOLF COURSE DAY
EXT. SOUTH CAROLINA GOLF COURSE - DAY
EXT. SOUTH CAROLINA GOLF COURSE - DAY TELETYPE ACROSS THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN: “0-900 AUGUST 16, 1977 - SOUTH CAROLINA, USA” The gallery surrounding the first Tee Box of the Tournament applauds as the commentator announces the first of many

Keep Your Head Down

A gifted Black boy from segregated Georgia survives a brutal Vietnam POW camp by mentally playing golf on an imaginary course, then returns home to chase the PGA dream under the guidance of the white Southern general who once mentored him.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

Keep Your Head Down occupies a rare intersection of the sports drama, war film, and civil rights narrative — a combination that has no direct contemporary equivalent. Unlike golf films that focus on white protagonists (The Legend of Bagger Vance, Tin Cup), this script centers a Black man's journey through segregation, Vietnam POW captivity, and PTSD to reach the professional golf tour, using the game itself as a metaphor for dignity, patience, and survival. The POW sequences where Willie plays imaginary golf to maintain his sanity are a genuinely original dramatic device. The intergenerational bond between a Black caddie and a white General who lost his Black wife and child adds emotional complexity that elevates the story beyond a conventional underdog narrative. For audiences hungry for untold Black American stories in the tradition of 42 or The Express, this script offers a fresh, emotionally resonant entry point.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

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Average Score: 7.0
Note: As Neil Gaiman says, ”People are usually right about what's wrong, and usually wrong about how to fix it.” Consider the suggestions in this analysis as potential catalysts: adopt what strengthens your vision, and let the rest deepen your understanding of what the story wants to become.
Model Upgrade — March 31, 2026
Our AI readers were upgraded — the verdicts and written analysis on this page are from our newer, significantly stronger models.
The scoring scale changed with the upgrade, so scores may not be directly comparable to earlier analyses.
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
Focus on tightening the script's pacing by consolidating repetitive sequences, especially in the Vietnam POW and post-war reintegration sections, to maintain momentum. Reduce on-the-nose dialogue by trusting subtext and visual storytelling to convey themes like racial injustice and trauma, and develop female characters like Cricket with more agency and resolution to their arcs, ensuring all emotional beats are earned rather than stated.
For Executives:
The script offers strong emotional value with a unique golf-Vietnam metaphor and potential for festival buzz in the sports/drama genre, appealing to audiences interested in racial and war themes. However, risks include uneven pacing, underdeveloped subplots, and on-the-nose dialogue that could alienate buyers, making it a middling package that requires significant revisions to avoid market rejection and enhance commercial appeal.
Story Facts
Genres:
War 40% Drama 50% Action 20% Thriller 15% Fantasy 10%

Setting: 1960s to 1970s, Stone Mountain, Georgia, and Vietnam

Themes: Trauma and its Lingering Effects, Redemption and the Pursuit of Healing, The Impact of Racism and Social Inequality, Brotherhood and Loyalty (Military and Personal), The Illusion vs. Reality of the American Dream, The Intergenerational Impact of Trauma and Unresolved Grief, Finding Meaning and Purpose Through Adversity, The Nature of Courage and Survival

Conflict & Stakes: Willie's struggle with PTSD and the impact of war on his life, relationships, and aspirations, with the stakes being his mental health and future.

Mood: Bittersweet and reflective, with moments of tension and triumph.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The intertwining of personal trauma with historical events, showcasing the impact of the Vietnam War on individual lives.
  • Major Twist: The revelation of The General's past and his connection to Willie, which adds depth to their relationship.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of flashbacks to juxtapose Willie's present struggles with his past experiences in Vietnam.
  • Distinctive Settings: The contrast between the serene golf course and the chaotic Vietnam jungle, highlighting the duality of Willie's life.
  • Unique Characters: A diverse cast that represents various perspectives on race, war, and resilience.

Comparable Scripts: Forrest Gump, The Things They Carried, A Soldier's Play, The Help, Dead Poets Society, Remember the Titans, Good Morning, Vietnam, The Pursuit of Happyness, The Color Purple

🎯 Your Top Priorities

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

You have more than one meaningful lever.

Improving Pacing and Emotional Impact (Script Level) will have the biggest impact on your overall score next draft.

1. Pacing
Big Impact Scene Level
Your current Pacing score: 7.4
Expected gain: ~2% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Moves easily Writers at your level typically gain +0.66 per rewrite — a realistic improvement.
Confidence: High (based on ~67 similar revisions)
  • This is your top opportunity right now. Focusing your rewrite energy here gives you the best realistic shot at raising the overall rating.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Pacing by about +0.66 in one rewrite.
2. Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Emotional Impact (Script Level) score: 7.4
Expected gain: ~1% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Moves easily Writers at your level typically gain +0.47 per rewrite — a realistic improvement.
Confidence: High (based on ~1,336 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Emotional Impact (Script Level) by about +0.47 in one rewrite.
3. Structure (Script Level)
Moderate Impact Script Level
Your current Structure (Script Level) score: 7.6
Expected gain: ~1% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Moves easily Writers at your level typically gain +0.4 per rewrite — a realistic improvement.
Confidence: High (based on ~1,515 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Structure (Script Level) by about +0.4 in one rewrite.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.83
Key Suggestions:
To enhance the script's creative impact, focus on refining pacing and dialogue to create smoother transitions and more authentic character interactions, which will strengthen emotional depth and make the narrative more engaging and resonant, particularly in scenes involving trauma and family dynamics.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script's core strength lies in its thematic depth exploring race, trauma, and resilience, but it requires focused refinement on pacing and dialogue to enhance emotional authenticity and clarity. By tightening transitions between timelines and making conversations feel more natural and less expository, the writer can create a more immersive and resonant narrative, ensuring that Willie's character arc and key relationships, like those with The General and Jack, land with greater impact and avoid audience confusion.
Personality Lens
Insights about your writing patterns — what they reveal about you, and where they might open new creative ground.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis reveals strong foundations in Willie and Jack as protagonists, with deep emotional resonance and thematic integration, but secondary characters like Pa and Ma need more development to avoid feeling static or one-dimensional. To improve the script, focus on enhancing character arcs through additional flashbacks and nuanced dialogue that explore their emotional wounds and relationships, ensuring that all characters contribute meaningfully to the themes of race, war, and resilience. This will create a more layered narrative, heightening emotional stakes and audience engagement, while addressing weaknesses in scenes like Pa's confrontations to make them more impactful.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script's emotional core is strong but could be elevated by diversifying emotional tones to include more hope, humor, and resilience, especially in trauma-heavy scenes, to avoid repetition and deepen character arcs. Incorporating sub-emotions like nostalgia in flashbacks and balancing intense moments with lighter interactions would enhance audience engagement and make the story more nuanced and relatable from a craft perspective.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The script's strength lies in its deep exploration of Willie's internal and external goals, driving a compelling character arc that addresses themes of racial identity and trauma. To enhance the craft, focus on tightening the pacing in the Vietnam sequences to heighten emotional stakes and ensure that philosophical conflicts are more subtly woven into everyday scenes, making Willie's growth feel more organic and less reliant on explicit resolutions. This could add layers to the narrative, improving audience engagement and thematic resonance.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The script's exploration of trauma and redemption is compelling, but to elevate its craft, focus on refining the pacing of flashbacks to avoid overwhelming the audience and ensure they serve the narrative progression. Additionally, deepen the character development in familial and interracial relationships to add layers of authenticity, making the themes of racism and brotherhood more integral and less expository, which could enhance emotional depth and prevent clichés in the portrayal of PTSD and social issues.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
As an intermediate screenwriter, focus on refining character consistency and pacing to strengthen the script's emotional core. By addressing abrupt shifts in character behavior, such as Willie's outbursts, and smoothing timeline jumps, you can create a more cohesive narrative that authentically portrays Willie's PTSD and growth. Integrating subtle foreshadowing for key reveals, like Pa's confession, will enhance craft and make the story more relatable, while reducing redundant flashbacks will improve flow and maintain audience engagement.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The writer's voice excels in emotional depth and authentic dialogue, effectively capturing themes of trauma and injustice, but to elevate the script, focus on refining pacing in transitional scenes to prevent emotional whiplash and ensure that character arcs, particularly Willie's, are given more subtle, internal development to complement the high-intensity moments, fostering a more cohesive narrative that resonates deeply without overwhelming the audience.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay showcases strong emotional storytelling and thematic depth, particularly in exploring race, war, and personal growth, but could be elevated by refining dialogue for greater authenticity, improving pacing to sustain engagement, and deepening character motivations to enhance emotional resonance. Focusing on these craft elements will make the narrative more compelling and immersive, allowing the writer's unique voice to shine through effectively.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script's world-building effectively uses contrasts between settings like golf courses and war zones to symbolize internal conflicts, but to enhance creative craft, focus on tightening transitions between these elements to avoid jarring shifts and deepen emotional resonance. By emphasizing the metaphorical links, such as golf as an escape mechanism, you can better integrate historical events and character arcs, making the narrative more cohesive and impactful, while addressing pacing issues through subtle world details that guide audience immersion.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
To improve your script from a creative and craft perspective, focus on balancing reflective scenes with higher-stakes elements to maintain pacing and strengthen the ending. Your strength in tense, conflict-driven sequences can be leveraged to intersperse with introspective moments, ensuring emotional depth doesn't slow the narrative. By tightening dialogue in calmer scenes and enhancing subtle character growth, you'll create a more dynamic flow that aligns with your intermediate skill level and addresses key challenges like pacing and resolution.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.