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Scene Map 55
# PG SLUGLINE
1 2
EXT HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD — NIGHT
2 3
INT ELI’S BEDROOM — MORNING
3 4
INT MERCER KITCHEN — MORNING
4 6
INT HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY — DAY
5 11
INT HIGH SCHOOL LIBRARY — LUNCH
6 13
INT MERCER GARAGE — EVENING
7 15
EXT MILLER BRIDGE — MORNING
8 16
EXT COUNTY ROAD — CONTINUOUS
9 17
EXT COUNTY ROAD — CONTINUOUS
10 18
INT BUS 14 — CONTINUOUS
11 19
EXT WEST APPROACH — CONTINUOUS
12 19
EXT MILLER BRIDGE — LATER
13 22
INT CAROL’S CAR — DAY
14 23
INT MARA’S HONDA — SECONDS LATER
15 24
INT MARA’S BEDROOM — EVENING
16 28
EXT STANTON POND — AFTERNOON
17 29
EXT STANTON POND — CONTINUOUS
18 30
INT MARA’S HONDA — MOMENTS LATER
19 31
INT ELI’S BEDROOM — NIGHT
20 36
INT HISTORY CLASSROOM — DAY
21 37
INT ELI’S BEDROOM — AFTERNOON
22 39
INT MERCER GARAGE — NIGHT
23 42
INT HIDDEN ROOM — CONTINUOUS
24 44
INT MERCER KITCHEN — NIGHT
25 45
INT ELI’S BEDROOM — LATER
26 46
INT MARA’S KITCHEN — NIGHT
27 48
INT MARA’S KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS
28 49
INT MARA’S CAR — NIGHT
29 51
INT MARA’S CAR — NIGHT
30 53
EXT QUARRY ROAD — MOMENTS LATER
31 54
INT HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM — NIGHT
32 55
INT HOSPITAL CORRIDOR — LATER
33 56
INT HOSPITAL STAIRWELL — CONTINUOUS
34 58
INT HOSPITAL ROOM — NIGHT
35 59
INT MERCER KITCHEN — MORNING
36 62
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — AFTERNOON
37 63
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER – NIGHT
38 63
EXT EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION – CONTINUOUS
39 65
INT EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION — CONTINUOUS
40 77
INT BLACKRIDGE SHERIFF’S OFFICE — NIGHT
41 84
INT MERCER HOUSE — ELI’S BEDROOM — NIGHT
42 85
EXT BLACKRIDGE — NEW YEAR’S EVE — NIGHT
43 85
INT MERCER HOUSE — KITCHEN — NIGHT
44 86
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
45 87
INT EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION — NIGHT
46 88
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
47 89
INT BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
48 90
INT MERCER HOUSE — KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS
49 92
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
50 93
INT BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
51 94
EXT RIDGE ROAD — NIGHT
52 95
INT BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
53 95
INT MERCER KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS
54 96
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
55 97
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
Scene Map
55
# PG SLUGLINE
1 2
EXT HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD — NIGHT
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD — NIGHT
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD — NIGHT Snow falls across an empty football field. ELI MERCER, 16, lies at midfield in jeans and a T-shirt. Barefoot. His eyes open. The cold hits him. He sits up, disoriented.
2 3
INT ELI’S BEDROOM — MORNING
INT. ELI’S BEDROOM — MORNING
INT. ELI’S BEDROOM — MORNING Eli jerks awake. Gray morning through the blinds. His bedroom is crowded with radios, cassette decks, circuit boards and loose wires.
3 4
INT MERCER KITCHEN — MORNING
INT. MERCER KITCHEN — MORNING
INT. MERCER KITCHEN — MORNING A modest house decorated for Christmas. A television shows shoppers loading carts with batteries and bottled water. NEWS ANCHOR (O.S.)
4 6
INT HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY — DAY
INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY — DAY
INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY — DAY Students crowd the corridor between classes. A handmade banner hangs overhead: 17 DAYS UNTIL Y2K Beneath it, a COMPUTER CLUB STUDENT hands out stapled
5 11
INT HIGH SCHOOL LIBRARY — LUNCH
INT. HIGH SCHOOL LIBRARY — LUNCH
INT. HIGH SCHOOL LIBRARY — LUNCH A nearly empty library under fluorescent lights. Snow feathers the tall windows. At a row of beige COMPUTERS, Eli waits as a web page loads one line at a time.
6 13
INT MERCER GARAGE — EVENING
INT. MERCER GARAGE — EVENING
INT. MERCER GARAGE — EVENING A bare bulb burns above stacked boxes. Eli opens one marked: RAY
7 15
EXT MILLER BRIDGE — MORNING
EXT. MILLER BRIDGE — MORNING
EXT. MILLER BRIDGE — MORNING Snow along a narrow two-lane bridge. MARA’S HONDA sits on the shoulder. Eli and Mara stand beside it. Mara films him with her Mini DV camera.
8 16
EXT COUNTY ROAD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COUNTY ROAD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COUNTY ROAD — CONTINUOUS The fuel truck rounds the bend. A rear wheel tears loose. The axle slams the pavement. The truck spins sideways and blocks both lanes. Fuel leaks beneath the tank.
9 17
EXT COUNTY ROAD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COUNTY ROAD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COUNTY ROAD — CONTINUOUS BUS 14 climbs toward him. Inside, children shout and throw paper across the seats. The DRIVER looks down as something rolls near her foot.
10 18
INT BUS 14 — CONTINUOUS
INT. BUS 14 — CONTINUOUS
INT. BUS 14 — CONTINUOUS The driver sees him. Slams the brakes. The tires lose traction. Children SCREAM.
11 19
EXT WEST APPROACH — CONTINUOUS
EXT. WEST APPROACH — CONTINUOUS
EXT. WEST APPROACH — CONTINUOUS The truck driver runs from the road. Bus 14 emerges sideways. Its rear clips the guardrail. Metal SCREAMS. The bus stops inches from the fuel tank.
12 19
EXT MILLER BRIDGE — LATER
EXT. MILLER BRIDGE — LATER
EXT. MILLER BRIDGE — LATER Emergency vehicles crowd the road. Children sit wrapped in blankets. Carol rushes toward Eli.
13 22
INT CAROL’S CAR — DAY
INT. CAROL’S CAR — DAY
INT. CAROL’S CAR — DAY Carol drives. Eli sits beside her with the scanner. CAROL Tom is confused. ELI
14 23
INT MARA’S HONDA — SECONDS LATER
INT. MARA’S HONDA — SECONDS LATER
INT. MARA’S HONDA — SECONDS LATER Mara glances at Eli. MARA I remember you. ELI
15 24
INT MARA’S BEDROOM — EVENING
INT. MARA’S BEDROOM — EVENING
INT. MARA’S BEDROOM — EVENING Mara sets her MiniDV camera on a tripod. Eli sits on the bed. The scanner rests beside him. Mara hits RECORD.
16 28
EXT STANTON POND — AFTERNOON
EXT. STANTON POND — AFTERNOON
EXT. STANTON POND — AFTERNOON A frozen pond beneath a gray winter sky. A sign beside the north bank: DANGER -- THIN ICE MARA’S HONDA overlooks the pond.
17 29
EXT STANTON POND — CONTINUOUS
EXT. STANTON POND — CONTINUOUS
EXT. STANTON POND — CONTINUOUS Eli approaches the mother. ELI You shouldn’t be here. She stops.
18 30
INT MARA’S HONDA — MOMENTS LATER
INT. MARA’S HONDA — MOMENTS LATER
INT. MARA’S HONDA — MOMENTS LATER The heater blasts. Eli watches the mother drive away. MARA She never fell in. ELI
19 31
INT ELI’S BEDROOM — NIGHT
INT. ELI’S BEDROOM — NIGHT
INT. ELI’S BEDROOM — NIGHT The scanner sits silent on Eli’s desk. Beside it, Eli rewinds Mara’s MiniDV tape frame by frame. Sophie running toward the pond. Eli stopping her.
20 36
INT HISTORY CLASSROOM — DAY
INT. HISTORY CLASSROOM — DAY
INT. HISTORY CLASSROOM — DAY Students settle into their seats. MRS. ADLER writes on the chalkboard: THE END OF THE COLD WAR Eli sits beside Mara.
21 37
INT ELI’S BEDROOM — AFTERNOON
INT. ELI’S BEDROOM — AFTERNOON
INT. ELI’S BEDROOM — AFTERNOON A sheet of paper is taped to the wall. Eli writes: MILLER BRIDGE -- TOM VALE
22 39
INT MERCER GARAGE — NIGHT
INT. MERCER GARAGE — NIGHT
INT. MERCER GARAGE — NIGHT Eli unlocks the side door. Mara follows him inside. Eli crosses to the county map pinned to the wall. Dozens of colored pinholes. Roads. Lakes. Intersections. Mara watches him.
23 42
INT HIDDEN ROOM — CONTINUOUS
INT. HIDDEN ROOM — CONTINUOUS
INT. HIDDEN ROOM — CONTINUOUS A cramped chamber lined with maps, photographs and emergency transcripts. Names are crossed out in black marker. Mara sweeps her flashlight across a message:
24 44
INT MERCER KITCHEN — NIGHT
INT. MERCER KITCHEN — NIGHT
INT. MERCER KITCHEN — NIGHT The broken scanner lies between Eli and Carol. CAROL Mara is the next call? ELI
25 45
INT ELI’S BEDROOM — LATER
INT. ELI’S BEDROOM — LATER
INT. ELI’S BEDROOM — LATER An old home video plays on the television. Young Eli opens a toy police car. Ray kneels beside him.
26 46
INT MARA’S KITCHEN — NIGHT
INT. MARA’S KITCHEN — NIGHT
INT. MARA’S KITCHEN — NIGHT Mara drops her car keys into a glass of water. Puts it in the freezer. MARA No car.
27 48
INT MARA’S KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS
INT. MARA’S KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS
INT. MARA’S KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS Mara’s mother lies beside the table. A pill bottle has rolled beneath a chair. Mara drops beside her. MARA
28 49
INT MARA’S CAR — NIGHT
INT. MARA’S CAR — NIGHT
INT. MARA’S CAR — NIGHT Mara drives through heavy snow. Her mother fights for each breath in the back seat. ELI
29 51
INT MARA’S CAR — NIGHT
INT. MARA’S CAR — NIGHT
INT. MARA’S CAR — NIGHT The Honda descends through blowing snow. The MiniDV camera rests on the floor. It CLICKS ON. Records.
30 53
EXT QUARRY ROAD — MOMENTS LATER
EXT. QUARRY ROAD — MOMENTS LATER
EXT. QUARRY ROAD — MOMENTS LATER The Honda lies upside down near the embankment. Steam rises from the crushed hood. The dashboard clock changes -- 7:35. Eli crawls through a shattered window.
31 54
INT HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM — NIGHT
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM — NIGHT
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM — NIGHT A bandage covers Eli’s forehead. Carol sits beside him. Through the doors, doctors treat Mara. Noah approaches with a NURSE.
32 55
INT HOSPITAL CORRIDOR — LATER
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR — LATER
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR — LATER Eli stands outside Mara’s room. Carol approaches. CAROL She’s awake.
33 56
INT HOSPITAL STAIRWELL — CONTINUOUS
INT. HOSPITAL STAIRWELL — CONTINUOUS
INT. HOSPITAL STAIRWELL — CONTINUOUS The heavy fire door SLAMS shut behind Eli. Four flights of stairs disappear in both directions. Eli turns slowly -- nobody there. A distant EXIT sign BUZZES.
34 58
INT HOSPITAL ROOM — NIGHT
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM — NIGHT
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM — NIGHT Mara lies bruised beneath a thin blanket. Eli stands in the doorway. MARA You look terrible.
35 59
INT MERCER KITCHEN — MORNING
INT. MERCER KITCHEN — MORNING
INT. MERCER KITCHEN — MORNING Noah eats cereal. Eli enters. Noah watches him cautiously. CAROL Eli lives here. He’s your brother.
36 62
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — AFTERNOON
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — AFTERNOON
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — AFTERNOON Workers hang WELCOME 2000 banners across downtown. A stage rises beneath strings of lights. Children build snowmen while public works crews clear the square. Across the street, Eli and Mara sit in Mara’s Honda.
37 63
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER – NIGHT
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER – NIGHT
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER – NIGHT The Civic Center sits dark beneath fresh snow. Holiday lights hang unlit across the empty square. Mara parks across the street. The engine dies. INT. MARA’S CAR - CONTINUOUS
38 63
EXT EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION – CONTINUOUS
EXT. EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION – CONTINUOUS
EXT. EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION – CONTINUOUS A heavy chain loops through the door handles. A weathered county padlock secures it. Eli kneels.
39 65
INT EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION — CONTINUOUS
INT. EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION — CONTINUOUS
INT. EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION — CONTINUOUS Mara’s flashlight cuts through the dark. Banks of obsolete equipment. Steel cabinets. Reel-to-reel decks beneath canvas covers.
40 77
INT BLACKRIDGE SHERIFF’S OFFICE — NIGHT
INT. BLACKRIDGE SHERIFF’S OFFICE — NIGHT
INT. BLACKRIDGE SHERIFF’S OFFICE — NIGHT Ray’s spiral notebook lies open across DEPUTY VALE’S desk. Beside it: The CIVIC CENTER EVACUATION MAP. A Polaroid Mara took inside the broadcast station.
41 84
INT MERCER HOUSE — ELI’S BEDROOM — NIGHT
INT. MERCER HOUSE — ELI’S BEDROOM — NIGHT
INT. MERCER HOUSE — ELI’S BEDROOM — NIGHT Eli sets Mara’s camera on his desk. The red RECORD light comes on. He sits before it. For once, no scanner between him and the world.
42 85
EXT BLACKRIDGE — NEW YEAR’S EVE — NIGHT
EXT. BLACKRIDGE — NEW YEAR’S EVE — NIGHT
EXT. BLACKRIDGE — NEW YEAR’S EVE — NIGHT Snow falls through fireworks smoke. The Civic Center glows over a crowded town square. A banner hangs above the entrance: BLACKRIDGE WELCOMES 2000
43 85
INT MERCER HOUSE — KITCHEN — NIGHT
INT. MERCER HOUSE — KITCHEN — NIGHT
INT. MERCER HOUSE — KITCHEN — NIGHT Carol washes a plate. Noah watches the celebration on television. An empty chair sits at the table.
44 86
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS The celebration stops. Every speaker in the square carries the dispatch. DISPATCHER (V.O.) Remain calm. Proceed immediately
45 87
INT EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION — NIGHT
INT. EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION — NIGHT
INT. EMERGENCY BROADCAST STATION — NIGHT Eli runs through the dark. DISPATCHER (V.O.) Proceed immediately -- He reaches the broadcast booth. Eli jams Ray’s key into the
46 88
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS Eli’s voice erupts from every loudspeaker. ELI (V.O.) Do not evacuate. Stay in the square.
47 89
INT BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
INT. BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
INT. BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS Eli keeps his foot planted on the pedal. The transmitter needles climb into the red. The dispatcher’s voice cuts in and out. DISPATCHER (V.O.)
48 90
INT MERCER HOUSE — KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS
INT. MERCER HOUSE — KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS
INT. MERCER HOUSE — KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS Eli’s voice comes through the radio. ELI (V.O.) Stay away from Ridge Road. Carol freezes at the sink.
49 92
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS The clock reads: 00:02:11 Most of the crowd remains in the square. But several cars push toward the barricade.
50 93
INT BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
INT. BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
INT. BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS Eli hears the square through an open monitoring channel. Car engines dying. The crowd staying. His hand trembles against the relay. The dispatcher returns beneath him.
51 94
EXT RIDGE ROAD — NIGHT
EXT. RIDGE ROAD — NIGHT
EXT. RIDGE ROAD — NIGHT Empty asphalt climbs beneath a wall of snow and trees. Abandoned evacuation signs flash: SHELTER ROUTE The mountain GROANS.
52 95
INT BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
INT. BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
INT. BROADCAST BOOTH — CONTINUOUS Eli sees Mara through a security monitor in the square. She writes across her palm: ELI MERCER. He smiles through tears.
53 95
INT MERCER KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS
INT. MERCER KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS
INT. MERCER KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS Carol stands before the family photograph on the refrigerator. A blank stare. CROWD (V.O.) Seven...
54 96
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS Deputy Vale holds the crowd behind the barricade. A DEPUTY approaches. DEPUTY Who told us Ridge Road wasn’t safe?
55 97
EXT BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS
EXT. BLACKRIDGE CIVIC CENTER — CONTINUOUS Mara stands among the living. The avalanche settles beyond town. Deputy Vale lowers the PA microphone. Around them, people embrace. Cry. Laugh.

Three Days

When a teenager's every act of heroism erases him from someone's memory, he faces an impossible choice: let a town of thousands die in an avalanche, or save them and lose the last people who still know he exists.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Proposition

The script turns conventional disaster suspense into an accumulating tragedy of identity, pairing mechanical countdown tension with the intimate grief of watching family, mentors, and a best friend lose access to the protagonist. Its snowbound 1999 setting gives the supernatural mystery a tactile pre-digital atmosphere.

AI Verdict

Model upgrade — March 31, 2026
Verdicts are often harsher under the new readers, but the analysis is significantly stronger. Under the previous models, this script would have scored:
The scoring scale changed with the upgrade — use these only to compare against earlier revisions of this script. Click any reader to open their full legacy review.

How to read these: in industry coverage, Pass is the default outcome for the majority of professional scripts, and Consider means the reader stayed in the room. Industry-wide, the median professional evaluation sits at a 6 — scores of 8+ are rare everywhere, on purpose.


Synthesis Where readers agree and split
7.3

A script with a distinctive atmospheric voice and a poignant central conceit earns a Recommend, and it requires targeted structural work on its causal mechanics and late-act escalation before it can be championed.

Readers read as Elevated commercial3 Specialty2 majority
Genres Drama4 Thriller4 Sci fi3 Horror1 Coming of age1 Supernatural1

An elevated commercial supernatural thriller aiming for cumulative emotional pressure through predictive warnings, progressive memory erasure, and the personal cost of intervention, asking the reader to sit with the weight of sacrifice rather than celebrating it.

Readers split on the contract: three read this as elevated commercial, two as specialty drama. The split traces to tonal register in the back half—the commercial read sees a propulsive thriller that needs tighter mechanics, while the specialty read sees deliberate restraint that should not be flattened by plot resolution.

Why not lower

The script's tonal control, distinctive premise, and strong early stakes sustain the read through the ambiguity of the final act, keeping it above a Consider.

Why not higher

The inconsistent dramatization of the forgetting rule and the under-supported avalanche climax prevent the script from reaching the clarity and emotional resolution required for a higher band.

Rewrite map

A script with a distinctive atmospheric voice and a poignant central conceit that requires targeted work to clarify the forgetting mechanism and tighten the mid-to-late act structural pressure.

Readers read as Elevated commercial3 Specialty2 majority

Start here

Establishing a single, legible rule for the forgetting mechanism early in the script addresses both the midsection repetition and the climax's emotional weight, turning abstract loss into a trackable cost that drives Eli's choices and reduces the need for late-act exposition.

What's working 1
Eli and Mara's witness bond

Their shared use of recording devices creates a functional, intimate counterforce to the erasure mechanic, giving the abstract premise a tangible emotional anchor that survives even when memory fails.

Protect while fixing 1
Tonal restraint and emotional core of sacrifice

Clarifying the forgetting rules or simplifying the climax's technical mechanics risks over-explaining the theme or flattening the quiet, atmospheric register that gives the script its identity.

Ground any rule clarification in action, discovery, and visual markers rather than exposition, and keep the climax focused on Eli's personal sacrifice rather than technical troubleshooting.

Fix first 2
Forgetting mechanism lacks causal clarity

The reader loses the ability to anticipate or understand the cost of Eli's choices, which flattens the moral weight of the climax and makes the ending feel emotionally arbitrary rather than inevitable.

Root cause

The script deliberately withholds the rule governing who forgets Eli and why, but the withholding is so complete that it reads as authorial uncertainty rather than controlled restraint.

One direction

Establish one clear, discoverable rule early through Ray's notes or Eli's observation and let the script test that rule across the interventions, giving the reader a working hypothesis to track.

Midsection repetition and late-act mechanical escalation

The reader experiences diminishing returns as the intervention pattern repeats without escalating stakes, then loses forward pull when the climax shifts focus to decoding broadcast infrastructure rather than resolving the emotional core.

Root cause

The middle act relies on a case-of-the-week structure that confirms the same rule without altering Eli's strategy, while the third act introduces new technical systems that arrive as exposition rather than earned setup.

One direction

Vary the outcome or consequence of each mid-act intervention to force a tactical shift in Eli's approach, and seed the broadcast station's geography and function earlier so the climax feels inevitable rather than newly assembled.

Your decisions 1
Market positioning: elevated commercial thriller vs. specialty drama Consequential
Side A

Committing to elevated commercial means leaning into the avalanche set-piece and tightening the causal mechanics to satisfy genre expectations for propulsive suspense and clear stakes.

Side B

Committing to specialty means preserving the slow-burn ambiguity, accepting a quieter climax, and prioritizing the philosophical inquiry over plot resolution.

Quick credibility wins 2
Overwritten action emphasis and atmospheric shorthand

Strip typographic caps and exclamation marks from high-stakes action lines, and vary or trim repetitive snow/static descriptions so atmosphere is earned through character behavior rather than shorthand.

On-the-nose thematic dialogue and mechanical exposition

Replace direct thematic statements and dispatcher info-dumps with subtextual character reactions and visual storytelling that let the reader infer the stakes.

Ask AI about this read
Would readers champion it · Rewrite depth · Voice · Score stability
What's working 4 of 5 readers agree

The script's tonal restraint and emotional core of sacrifice create a distinctive voice that distinguishes it from conventional disaster narratives and would survive a skeptical coverage discussion.

What's blocking All 5 readers agree

The forgetting mechanism lacks causal clarity, which makes the climax feel emotionally arbitrary rather than inevitable and prevents a skeptical reader from fully engaging with the stakes.

Would readers champion it?
Not yetNot yetReaders wouldn’t actively push for it.
Early interestEarly interestMentioned, but no real push behind it.
ModeratelyModeratelyMentioned favorably to the right buyer.
StronglyStronglyActively championed across their network.
ClaudeModeratelyDeepSeekModeratelyGPT5ModeratelyGrokModeratelyGeminiStrongly
How much rewrite does it need?
Start from scratchStart from scratchPremise or core engine isn’t working. Page-one rebuild.
Structural rewriteStructural rewriteSpecific acts or zones need rebuilding — not starting over, but significant revision work on those sections.
Targeted rewriteTargeted rewriteSpecific scenes or threads need rework. ~1 month.
Just polishJust polishLines and pacing tweaks. A few weeks.
ClaudeTargeted rewriteDeepSeekTargeted rewriteGeminiTargeted rewriteGrokTargeted rewriteGPT5Structural rewrite
How distinctive is the voice?
GenericGenericReads like other scripts in the genre.
EmergingEmergingHints of a distinctive voice, not yet locked in.
DistinctiveDistinctiveA clear, recognizable authorial voice.
One-of-a-kindOne-of-a-kindA voice that couldn’t be anyone else’s.
DeepSeekEmergingClaudeDistinctiveGPT5DistinctiveGeminiDistinctiveGrokDistinctive

On the score: The score sits at the high edge of its band — a focused revision could push it to the next verdict.

Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 80% Thriller 60% Fantasy 40%

Setting: December 1999, just before Y2K, Blackridge, a small town in a mountainous region (likely Colorado or similar)

Themes: Memory and Identity, Sacrifice and Selflessness, Fate vs. Free Will, Family and Love, The Dangers of Technology and Manipulated Information, Isolation and Alienation

Conflict & Stakes: Eli must decide whether to use his father's scanner to prevent disasters, knowing that each successful intervention causes someone close to him to forget his existence. The stakes escalate from saving a bus of children to preventing a mass casualty avalanche on New Year's Eve, with the ultimate cost being his own erasure from memory.

Mood: Eerie, suspenseful, melancholic, with moments of warmth and desperate hope

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: A police scanner that broadcasts emergencies three days in advance, but preventing them causes people to forget the hero exists.
  • Plot Twist: The evacuation warning itself is the weapon, designed to funnel people into the path of an avalanche.
  • Distinctive Setting: A small Colorado town on the eve of Y2K, with a hidden Cold War-era emergency broadcast station as the story's focal point.
  • Innovative Idea: The concept of 'the call is the weapon'—that warnings can be manipulated to cause harm, and the only way to fight them is with a louder, more trusted voice.
  • Unique Characters: Eli, a teenager who knowingly sacrifices his relationships and identity to save strangers, and Mara, who documents everything as a bulwark against being forgotten.
  • Genre Blend: Supernatural thriller meets family drama meets disaster movie, with a strong coming-of-age emotional core.

Comparable Scripts: The Butterfly Effect (2004), Frequency (2000), Donnie Darko (2001), The Mist (2007), Dark (Netflix series, 2017-2020), The Time Traveler's Wife (2009 film/2011 novel), The Cell (2000), The Jacket (2005), The OA (Netflix series, 2016-2019), The Others (2001)

How 5 AI Readers Scored The Script

Readers graded as Elevated commercial3 Specialty2 majority
Claude GPT5 Gemini DeepSeek Grok Average spread Row tint: weak mid strong excellent
Premise i
8.0
Plot i
7.0
Structure i
7.6
Character i
7.2
Dialogue i
6.4
Tone / Voice i
8.0
Theme i
8.0
Marketability i
6.6

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 8.60
Key Suggestions:
The analysis consistently highlights that while the screenplay's emotional core and premise are strong, the execution of secondary arcs and dialogue subtext needs refinement. To elevate the script, focus on clarifying the rules of erasure earlier so the audience understands the cost of each intervention, and deepen Carol's internal struggle by giving her a private moment of fighting to remember Eli before she forgets. Additionally, replace on-the-nose thematic dialogue with visual storytelling—such as having Ray's warning conveyed through crossed-out routes on a map rather than stated outright. These changes will increase emotional resonance and sophistication without disrupting the powerful sacrificial arc.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script has a strong high-concept and emotional core, but the rules of forgetting need clearer internal logic to avoid frustrating audiences. Consider establishing a consistent mechanism (e.g., tied to emotional closeness or event magnitude) and foreshadowing it earlier. The middle rescues risk formulaic repetition—vary challenges by introducing failures or physical costs, and integrate Mara more actively into the plot (e.g., she discovers key clues independently). Tighten the first act by reducing on-the-nose exposition and Y2K tangents to hook viewers faster. Finally, resolve Eli's fate more explicitly in the ending, perhaps through a tangible remnant or a coda showing the lingering emotional impact on those who forgot him.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis highlights that Eli's arc is emotionally powerful but needs finer-grained beats, particularly in scene 13 where his anger should be more layered and conflicted. Carol's character would benefit from additional vulnerability to strengthen the family dynamic. Mara's journey as a documentarian-turned-participant is strong, but her impulsivity could be better motivated. Overall, focus on deepening emotional transitions and clarifying the personal cost of each intervention to heighten dramatic tension.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script's emotional landscape is overwhelmingly dominated by suspense, dread, and sadness, with very few moments of relief or joy. This risks creating audience fatigue, especially during the middle act where grief is constant. To improve, consider adding more sustained moments of warmth, levity, or low-intensity breathing room—such as extending the brotherly scene in scene 19 or inserting a quiet reflective moment after the car crash. Additionally, the pace at which characters forget Eli accelerates too quickly, desensitizing the audience to each loss. Slowing this progression and showing Eli’s internal struggle more explicitly will heighten the tragedy and strengthen empathy for him.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis reveals that Eli's arc is driven by a compelling internal shift from needing to understand his father's fate to needing to prove his own existence, while his external goals escalate from solving a mystery to preventing mass tragedy. The core philosophical conflict—Memory vs. Sacrifice—gives the story its emotional weight and tragic engine. To strengthen the script, ensure that each forgotten person (Vale, Adler, Noah) deepens the audience's understanding of the cost and that Eli's final acceptance feels earned, not abrupt. The rules of the phenomenon (who gets forgotten and why) should remain clear but not overly mechanical, preserving the haunting ambiguity that makes the sacrifice poignant.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The thematic analysis reveals a powerful engine: each act of sacrifice erodes Eli's identity through memory loss, creating a tragic paradox. To maximize emotional impact, ensure every forgetting event is viscerally earned—show the specific bond broken (brother, teacher, mother) and its unique emotional weight. The 'call is the weapon' twist adds depth; use it to tighten the central conflict by making the broadcast station a literal battleground between safety and erasure. Strengthen the family thread (especially with Noah and Carol) to ground the metaphysical cost in recognizable love and loss.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis reveals that the script's emotional power is weakened by undefined supernatural rules and character choices that feel forced by plot mechanics rather than grounded in consistent strategy. To strengthen the narrative, clearly establish the constraints of the scanner's predictions—are they fixed or mutable?—and ensure that each memory loss follows a predictable, meaningful logic tied to personal connections. Also, give Eli and Mara more credible alternatives in high-stakes moments (like calling authorities or using different routes) so their reckless decisions feel like conscious, desperate choices rather than conveniences for the set piece. Reducing redundant explanations and letting subtext carry the theme will elevate the authenticity.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
Your voice is your greatest asset: cold, precise minimalism that lets atmosphere and subtext do the heavy lifting. Scene 12 is a masterclass in restraint—the sparse dialogue and the silent slap land harder than any monologue. Continue to trust your instincts: let characters say less than they feel, and let the visuals and silences carry the emotional weight. To push further, ensure that the minimalism never becomes opaque—check that key emotional beats are still earned through the accumulation of detail, not lost in austerity.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay demonstrates strong structural instincts and efficient pacing with a compelling supernatural premise. However, the writer's primary craft gap is a lack of emotional depth and character interiority. Characters often serve the plot rather than feeling like fully realized people, and dialogue is frequently on-the-nose without subtext. To elevate the script, focus on layering emotional resonance through sensory details, subtext in dialogue, and moments of stillness that allow internal conflict to surface. Exercises like rewriting scenes without dialogue or adding subtext to exchanges can help bridge the gap between efficient storytelling and profound emotional weight.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The world-building is strong, with a vivid sense of place and period (1999, Y2K anxiety). To sharpen the script, deepen the symbolic resonance of each location: for example, the cold, snow, and isolation should not merely be atmospheric but directly reflect Eli's emotional state and the cost of his actions. The hidden broadcast station is a powerful visual metaphor; ensure its reveal and use feel earned. Also, tighten the connection between the physical environment and the memory-loss consequence—the setting can actively reinforce the theme of disappearance (e.g., footprints erased by snow, lights flickering out).
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The scene pattern analysis cannot proceed because no scene scores have been entered. This is a critical gap—without scores for Tone, Plot, Characters, Emotional Impact, etc., the analysis cannot identify strengths, weaknesses, or patterns across the script. You should prioritize providing scoring data or, at minimum, self-assess each scene against these categories to unlock actionable insights for revision.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

Comparison with Previous Draft

See how your script has evolved from the previous version. This section highlights improvements, regressions, and changes across all major categories, helping you understand what revisions are working and what may need more attention.

Version Comparison Analysis
Summary of Changes
Improvements (2)
  • Emotional Impact: 8.1 → 9.2 +1.1
  • Conflict: 8.3 → 8.7 +0.4
Areas to Review (2)
  • Theme: 8.7 → 8.4 -0.3
  • Originality: 8.7 → 8.4 -0.3