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Scene Map 28
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
THE RAID
2 3
INT BUILDING 771 — PLUTONIUM RECOVERY AND FABRICATION —
3 4
INT BUILDING 771 — SECONDS LATER
4 6
EXT SUBURBAN DENVER — SAME
5 7
EXT ROCKY FLATS PLANT — MORNING
6 9
INT SEDAN — PERIMETER ROAD — MORNING
7 10
EXT ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — CONTINUOUS
8 14
INT CONFERENCE ROOM — LATER
9 18
EXT PARKING LOT — SAME
10 19
EXT PERIMETER ROAD — CONTINUOUS
11 20
EXT COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
12 20
EXT COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
13 22
INT ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — RESTROOM — DAY
14 24
EXT SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
15 26
INT EXAM ROOM — DAY
16 28
EXT SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
17 31
EXT STANLEY LAKE — DAY
18 31
INT BUILDING 771 – PLUTONIUM RECOVERY – DAY
19 34
INT BUILDING 771 - PLENUM ACCESS — DAY
20 35
INT SERVICE CORRIDOR — BUILDING 771 — DAY
21 36
INT HOSPITAL OFFICE — DAY
22 39
INT TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
23 42
INT ADMIN HALLWAY — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
24 43
INT ADMIN HALLWAY - ROCKY FLATS — DAY
25 44
EXT DOWNWIND GREENBELT — DAY
26 48
INT BAR — NIGHT
27 53
INT BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT
28 55
INT ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS
Scene Map
28
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
THE RAID
THE RAID
THE RAID A Limited Series "Room 141" Written by Dane Hooks
2 3
INT BUILDING 771 — PLUTONIUM RECOVERY AND FABRICATION —
INT. BUILDING 771 — PLUTONIUM RECOVERY AND FABRICATION —
INT. BUILDING 771 — PLUTONIUM RECOVERY AND FABRICATION — NIGHT Fluorescent lights BUZZ. harsh, unforgiving. A corridor of INTERCONNECTED GLOVE BOXES stretches into infinity.
3 4
INT BUILDING 771 — SECONDS LATER
INT. BUILDING 771 — SECONDS LATER
INT. BUILDING 771 — SECONDS LATER ALARMS SHRIEK -- piercing, panicked. Technicians scatter down the corridor. A SUPERVISOR lunges for a wall phone, voice tight but trained.
4 6
EXT SUBURBAN DENVER — SAME
EXT. SUBURBAN DENVER — SAME
EXT. SUBURBAN DENVER — SAME Quiet neighborhoods. Sprinklers ticking on manicured lawns. Backyard windows open to the cool air. Children’s bikes left in driveways.
5 7
EXT ROCKY FLATS PLANT — MORNING
EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — MORNING
EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — MORNING First light creeps over the Front Range. A vast, immaculate NUCLEAR WEAPONS FACILITY emerges from the dark -- low buildings, clean lines, wide security perimeters. No urgency.
6 9
INT SEDAN — PERIMETER ROAD — MORNING
INT. SEDAN — PERIMETER ROAD — MORNING
INT. SEDAN — PERIMETER ROAD — MORNING A sedan rolls toward the security gate. Chain-link. Cameras. Warning signs. The driver -- JACK MORROW (40s) -- wears khakis, a windbreaker, and an expression that never gives anything
7 10
EXT ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — CONTINUOUS
EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — CONTINUOUS
EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — CONTINUOUS A SECURITY GUARD (30s), sharp-eyed, not bored, steps forward. Hand near his radio -- not aggressive. Alert. SECURITY GUARD
8 14
INT CONFERENCE ROOM — LATER
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM — LATER
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM — LATER Spotless. Corporate immaculate. Air-conditioned into submission. Three coffees sit waiting.
9 18
EXT PARKING LOT — SAME
EXT. PARKING LOT — SAME
EXT. PARKING LOT — SAME From a distance, UNMARKED VEHICLES begin arriving. One by one. They park calmly. EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — MOMENTS
10 19
EXT PERIMETER ROAD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. PERIMETER ROAD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. PERIMETER ROAD — CONTINUOUS Over a shallow rise -- A CONVOY appears. Unmarked sedans. SUVs. Vans. Too many.
11 20
EXT COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS Vehicles flood in. Doors open in unison. FBI AGENTS step out -- armed, calm, surgical. No rush.
12 20
EXT COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS Agents fan out with precision. A machine locking into place. Tom watches his world get sectioned off.
13 22
INT ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — RESTROOM — DAY
INT. ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — RESTROOM — DAY
INT. ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — RESTROOM — DAY A private restroom. Corporate clean. Muted lighting. No windows. Tom Haskell stands alone at the sink.
14 24
EXT SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
EXT. SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
EXT. SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY A flat expanse of shallow ponds stretches toward the horizon -- dull, chemical blue beneath a bleached Colorado sun. The surface doesn’t ripple. Nothing lives here.
15 26
INT EXAM ROOM — DAY
INT. EXAM ROOM — DAY
INT. EXAM ROOM — DAY A small, clean exam room. Fluorescent lights. Neutral walls. JESSICA REYNOLDS (30s) sits on the exam table. Athletic build. Calm. No visible illness. Running shoes at her feet. DR. AMY BRADEN (50s), pulmonary specialist, reviews a chart.
16 28
EXT SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
EXT. SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
EXT. SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY Linda scrapes loose material from the crack with a sterile swab. Gray dust. She seals it in a vial.
17 31
EXT STANLEY LAKE — DAY
EXT. STANLEY LAKE — DAY
EXT. STANLEY LAKE — DAY Still water. Glass-smooth. Quiet. Reflecting low clouds and distant foothills. A thin drainage channel snakes through the dry grass --
18 31
INT BUILDING 771 – PLUTONIUM RECOVERY – DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 – PLUTONIUM RECOVERY – DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 – PLUTONIUM RECOVERY – DAY The HUM never stops. Linda, lab coat crisp, clipboard tucked under her arm, walks the glove-box corridor. Focused. Methodical. Ahead of her --
19 34
INT BUILDING 771 - PLENUM ACCESS — DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 - PLENUM ACCESS — DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 - PLENUM ACCESS — DAY A massive industrial chamber. Rows of HEPA FILTER HOUSINGS line the space like tombs. Each one sealed. Each one trusted.
20 35
INT SERVICE CORRIDOR — BUILDING 771 — DAY
INT. SERVICE CORRIDOR — BUILDING 771 — DAY
INT. SERVICE CORRIDOR — BUILDING 771 — DAY A narrow concrete corridor. Utility lights. Painted pipes. The HUM is louder here -- closer. Jack walks fast. Linda beside him.
21 36
INT HOSPITAL OFFICE — DAY
INT. HOSPITAL OFFICE — DAY
INT. HOSPITAL OFFICE — DAY The hospital has quieted. Dr. Braden sits alone at her desk, sleeves rolled up. On-screen: a SPREADSHEET. Columns:
22 39
INT TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY A windowless room repurposed in a hurry. Fold-out tables. Too close together. Maps pinned crooked to a corkboard. Drainage arrows added in marker.
23 42
INT ADMIN HALLWAY — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. ADMIN HALLWAY — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. ADMIN HALLWAY — ROCKY FLATS — DAY A quieter corridor. Fluorescent lights buzz. The HUM persists. Jack steps away from the command room.
24 43
INT ADMIN HALLWAY - ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. ADMIN HALLWAY - ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. ADMIN HALLWAY - ROCKY FLATS — DAY Tom Haskell -- composed, immaculate -- moves with purpose down a fluorescent corridor. He turns a corner -- A lone PAY PHONE, wedged beside a vending machine.
25 44
EXT DOWNWIND GREENBELT — DAY
EXT. DOWNWIND GREENBELT — DAY
EXT. DOWNWIND GREENBELT — DAY A strip of open land caught between worlds. Dry grass. Cottonwoods. A narrow bike path cuts through.
26 48
INT BAR — NIGHT
INT. BAR — NIGHT
INT. BAR — NIGHT A narrow, dim bar tucked into an old brick building. A neon beer sign BUZZES -- not loud, just present. A few LOCALS nurse drinks. Jack and Linda sit side by side at the bar.
27 53
INT BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT
INT. BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT
INT. BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT The HUM down here isn’t background anymore -- it presses against the chest. Jack and Linda stand outside a STEEL AIRLOCK DOOR. Stenciled lettering, faded but legible:
28 55
INT ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS
INT. ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS
INT. ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS The door opens. Light FLOODS out. Cold. White. Endless. They freeze.

The Raid

After alarming off-site readings and clustered cancer cases point to Rocky Flats, a determined pair of investigators break protocol to find Room 141 — what they uncover forces them to choose between the law, the truth, and the safety of thousands.

See other logline suggestions

Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

This script transforms the invisible, slow-moving threat of environmental contamination into a visceral, immediate thriller. Unlike typical procedurals, it weaponizes bureaucracy and institutional silence as the primary antagonists, creating tension through what isn't said and what isn't documented. The fusion of true-crime investigation with body-horror elements (radiation sickness) and corporate conspiracy creates a unique hybrid genre that feels both timely and timeless.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
Claude
 Recommend
DeepSeek
 Recommend
Average Score: 8.4
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To improve the script from a creative and craft perspective, focus on deepening the emotional stakes for key characters like Jack and Linda by integrating their personal backstories more seamlessly into the narrative, transforming their motivations from professional duty to personal compulsion. Additionally, streamline overly expository scenes, such as bureaucratic negotiations, to reduce talkiness and enhance pacing, allowing the atmospheric tension and visual elements to drive the story more effectively.
For Executives:
The script has strong value as a tense, fact-based thriller with broad market appeal in the environmental justice genre, akin to Chernobyl or Erin Brockovich, offering high production potential through its cinematic atmosphere and true-event hook. However, risks include audience disengagement from underdeveloped character emotions and pacing drags in expository sections, which could dilute tension; market perception is positive but demands rewrites to avoid feeling too procedural and to strengthen emotional resonance for mainstream success.
Story Facts
Genres:
Thriller 60% Drama 30% Crime 25% Action 15%

Setting: 1957 and 1989, Rocky Flats Plant, Colorado

Themes: The Enduring and Insidious Consequences of Industrial Negligence and Secrecy, The Hidden Dangers of Nuclear Materials and Environmental Contamination, Systemic Deception and the Cover-Up of Truth, The Human Cost of Industrial Negligence, The Struggle for Truth and Accountability

Conflict & Stakes: The main conflict revolves around the investigation of environmental contamination at the Rocky Flats Plant, with high stakes involving public health, corporate accountability, and the potential for a cover-up.

Mood: Tense and ominous

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The story is based on true events surrounding the Rocky Flats Plant, adding authenticity and urgency.
  • Plot Twist: The revelation of systemic contamination and cover-up within a seemingly secure facility.
  • Distinctive Setting: The juxtaposition of a serene suburban environment with the hidden dangers of the Rocky Flats Plant.
  • Innovative Ideas: The exploration of environmental contamination through the lens of personal stories and professional investigations.

Comparable Scripts: The China Syndrome, Silkwood, A Civil Action, Chernobyl (TV Miniseries), The Constant Gardener, Dark Waters, The Insider, Erin Brockovich, The Report

🎯 Your Top Priorities

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

You have more than one meaningful lever.

Improving Theme (Script Level) and Emotional Impact (Script Level) will have the biggest impact on your overall score next draft.

1. Theme (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Theme (Script Level) score: 7.8
Expected gain: ~6% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.5 in Theme (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,464 similar revisions)
  • This is your top opportunity right now. Focusing your rewrite energy here gives you the best realistic shot at raising the overall rating.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Theme (Script Level) by about +0.5 in one rewrite.
2. Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Emotional Impact (Script Level) score: 7.2
Expected gain: ~6% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.7 in Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~2,672 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Emotional Impact (Script Level) by about +0.7 in one rewrite.
3. Premise (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Premise (Script Level) score: 8.0
Expected gain: ~5% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.47 in Premise (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~1,491 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Premise (Script Level) by about +0.47 in one rewrite.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.70
Key Suggestions:
To enhance the script's creative impact, focus on deepening character backstories and emotional arcs for key figures like Jack, Linda, and Tom to make their motivations more relatable and the conflicts more engaging. Additionally, refine pacing in exposition-heavy scenes and integrate more vivid, symbolic visual elements to heighten tension and thematic resonance, ensuring the narrative flows dynamically while maintaining atmospheric intensity.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script excels in building atmospheric tension and character depth, but to elevate it creatively, focus on streamlining pacing by cutting back on exposition-heavy scenes and integrating character backstories more naturally through dialogue and actions. Enhancing personal stakes early on will make the environmental themes more emotionally engaging, ensuring the narrative maintains momentum and viewer connection without overwhelming details.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis highlights strong foundations for Linda, Jack, and Tom, with high scores in dedication and strategic thinking, but opportunities exist to enhance emotional depth and arcs. To improve the script creatively, focus on integrating personal backstories—such as Linda's and Jack's family histories with environmental exposure and Tom's health struggles—through subtle flashbacks or dialogue. This will add complexity, strengthen relationships like that between Linda and Jack, and make the narrative more engaging and thematically resonant, ultimately elevating the story's emotional impact and audience connection.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script excels in building suspense and fear, core to its nuclear thriller genre, but suffers from a lack of emotional variety and depth, leading to potential audience fatigue. To improve creatively, incorporate more contrasting emotions like brief moments of joy, professional satisfaction, or subtle humor in key scenes, and enhance character empathy through nuanced reactions and personal stakes, fostering a more dynamic emotional arc that heightens tension and audience investment without overwhelming the dark tone.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis highlights strong character development and thematic depth in the script, particularly in the protagonist's evolution from self-preservation to advocacy. To enhance the creative craft, focus on tightening the philosophical conflict's portrayal in key scenes, ensuring that unresolved elements build suspense and provoke audience reflection without leaving loose ends that could dilute emotional impact. This will strengthen the narrative arc and make the themes of control versus chaos more resonant and engaging.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The script masterfully interconnects themes of industrial negligence, secrecy, and human cost to create a compelling narrative, but to elevate its craft, consider amplifying character-driven moments—such as Jack and Linda's personal histories or Dr. Braden's frustration—to forge deeper emotional connections with the audience. Additionally, refine the use of recurring auditory elements like the persistent hum to avoid monotony, ensuring they dynamically build tension and reinforce the themes without overwhelming the pacing, thereby enhancing overall engagement and thematic depth.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's analysis reveals key areas for improvement in character development, story coherence, and pacing. By addressing abrupt character shifts, unresolved plot elements, and redundancies, the writer can create a more organic and engaging narrative. Focusing on tightening logical gaps, such as historical event acknowledgments and plot justifications, will enhance realism and emotional depth, making the story more compelling and immersive for audiences.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The script's voice excels in building suspense through detailed sensory descriptions and subtext, but to elevate it further, focus on varying pacing to avoid monotony in tension-building scenes and deepen character arcs with more nuanced internal conflicts. This will enhance emotional resonance and prevent the narrative from feeling overly reliant on atmospheric elements, ensuring the story remains compelling and character-driven throughout.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay effectively builds tension and explores themes, but to elevate its craft, focus on infusing dialogue with richer subtext and emotional depth, refining pacing to vary rhythm and sustain engagement, and deepening character motivations to create more complex, relatable figures. This will enhance the overall narrative immersion and emotional resonance, making the story more compelling.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script's world-building masterfully contrasts industrial sterility with natural serenity to build tension, but to elevate the craft, focus on integrating cultural and societal elements more seamlessly into character arcs and dialogue. This would deepen emotional resonance and thematic impact, making the story more immersive and less reliant on visual contrasts alone, ultimately enhancing the narrative's pace and audience engagement.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The script's strength lies in its high-conflict scenes that drive character and plot development, but it suffers from a weak opening and reduced engagement in calmer or routine scenes. To improve creatively, focus on enhancing the initial hook with more immediate tension and stakes, and refine dialogue in less intense moments to deepen emotional impact and ensure consistent audience immersion, leveraging the strong confrontational elements to maintain a balanced narrative flow.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

Comparison with Previous Draft

See how your script has evolved from the previous version. This section highlights improvements, regressions, and changes across all major categories, helping you understand what revisions are working and what may need more attention.

Version Comparison Analysis
Summary of Changes
Improvements (5)
  • Premise - premiseDepth: 7.0 → 9.0 +2.0
  • Premise - premiseClarity: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
  • Emotional Impact - emotionalComplexity: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
  • Character Complexity - characterRelatability: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
  • Character Complexity - characterDiversity: 6.0 → 7.0 +1.0
Areas to Review (0)

No regressions detected