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Scene Map 31
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
THE RAID
2 2
INT BUILDING 771 — PLUTONIUM RECOVERY AND FABRICATION —
3 4
EXT SUBURBAN DENVER — SAME
4 6
EXT ROCKY FLATS — SAME
5 8
EXT ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — CONTINUOUS
6 12
INT ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — MORNING
7 15
EXT PARKING LOT — SAME
8 15
EXT PERIMETER ROAD — CONTINUOUS
9 16
EXT COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
10 18
INT ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — TOM HASKELL’S OFFICE — DAY
11 21
EXT SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
12 24
EXT STANLEY LAKE — DAY
13 25
INT EXAM ROOM — DAY
14 26
INT BUILDING 771 – PLUTONIUM RECOVERY – DAY
15 28
INT BUILDING 771 — WOMEN’S RESTROOM — DAY
16 29
INT BUILDING 771 - PLENUM ACCESS — DAY
17 30
INT SERVICE CORRIDOR — BUILDING 771 — DAY
18 31
INT TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
19 34
INT ADMIN HALLWAY — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
20 35
EXT ADMIN PARKING LOT — CONTINUOUS
21 37
INT ADMIN HALLWAY - ROCKY FLATS — DAY
22 38
EXT DOWNWIND GREENBELT — DAY
23 41
INT BUILDING 771 — SUBLEVEL CORRIDOR — NIGHT
24 42
INT HOSPITAL OFFICE — NIGHT
25 44
INT SUBURBAN OFFICE PARK — NIGHT
26 45
EXT OFFICE PARK — NIGHT
27 46
INT BAR — NIGHT
28 50
EXT SECURITY CHECKPOINT — NIGHT
29 52
EXT SERVICE ENTRANCE — MOMENTS LATER
30 53
INT BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT
31 54
INT ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS
Scene Map
31
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
THE RAID
THE RAID
THE RAID A Limited Series "Room 141" Written by Dane Hooks
2 2
INT BUILDING 771 — PLUTONIUM RECOVERY AND FABRICATION —
INT. BUILDING 771 — PLUTONIUM RECOVERY AND FABRICATION —
INT. BUILDING 771 — PLUTONIUM RECOVERY AND FABRICATION — NIGHT Fluorescent lights BUZZ overhead. A corridor of interconnected glove boxes stretches forever. Plexiglass windows. Rubber gloves hang limp.
3 4
EXT SUBURBAN DENVER — SAME
EXT. SUBURBAN DENVER — SAME
EXT. SUBURBAN DENVER — SAME Quiet neighborhoods. Sprinklers tick on manicured lawns. Laundry sways gently on clotheslines. The same wind moves through the trees.
4 6
EXT ROCKY FLATS — SAME
EXT. ROCKY FLATS — SAME
EXT. ROCKY FLATS — SAME The facility hums beneath the rising sun. Beyond the fence -- Open land.
5 8
EXT ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — CONTINUOUS
EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — CONTINUOUS
EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — CONTINUOUS A SECURITY GUARD (30s), sharp-eyed, not bored, steps forward. Jack doesn’t look at the guard. He looks past him.
6 12
INT ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — MORNING
INT. ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — MORNING
INT. ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — MORNING Jack and Linda walk the polished corridors led by a DOE ESCORT. Badged EMPLOYEES glance up -- curious, but not alarmed. INT. CONFERENCE ROOM — MORNING
7 15
EXT PARKING LOT — SAME
EXT. PARKING LOT — SAME
EXT. PARKING LOT — SAME From a distance, UNMARKED VEHICLES begin arriving. One by one. They park calmly. EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — MOMENTS
8 15
EXT PERIMETER ROAD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. PERIMETER ROAD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. PERIMETER ROAD — CONTINUOUS Over a shallow rise -- A CONVOY appears. Unmarked sedans. SUVs. Vans. EXT. ADMIN BUILDING — CONTINUOUS
9 16
EXT COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS Vehicles flood in. Doors open in unison. FBI AGENTS step out -- armed, calm, surgical. Linda watches Tom now. He’s running calculations.
10 18
INT ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — TOM HASKELL’S OFFICE — DAY
INT. ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — TOM HASKELL’S OFFICE — DAY
INT. ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — TOM HASKELL’S OFFICE — DAY A corner office. Corporate beige. Wood paneling. Light slices the room into neat, controlled lines. Tom Haskell sits behind the desk. Jacket off. Sleeves crisp.
11 21
EXT SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
EXT. SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
EXT. SOLAR EVAPORATION PONDS — ROCKY FLATS — DAY A shallow grid of ponds stretches to the horizon. Chemical blue. Flat as glass. At the far edge -- Concrete blocks stacked in long, uneven rows.
12 24
EXT STANLEY LAKE — DAY
EXT. STANLEY LAKE — DAY
EXT. STANLEY LAKE — DAY Still water. Glass-smooth. Quiet. Reflecting low clouds and distant foothills. A thin drainage channel snakes through the dry grass --
13 25
INT EXAM ROOM — DAY
INT. EXAM ROOM — DAY
INT. EXAM ROOM — DAY A small, clean exam room. Fluorescent lights. Neutral walls. JESSICA REYNOLDS (30s) sits on the exam table. Athletic build. Calm. No visible illness. Running shoes at her feet. DR. AMY BRADEN (50s), pulmonary specialist, reviews a chart.
14 26
INT BUILDING 771 – PLUTONIUM RECOVERY – DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 – PLUTONIUM RECOVERY – DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 – PLUTONIUM RECOVERY – DAY The HUM never stops. Linda, lab coat crisp, clipboard tucked under her arm, walks the glove-box corridor. Focused. Methodical. Ahead of her --
15 28
INT BUILDING 771 — WOMEN’S RESTROOM — DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 — WOMEN’S RESTROOM — DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 — WOMEN’S RESTROOM — DAY Fluorescent lights HUM. Too bright. Too clean. Linda enters alone. Locks the door. Sets her clipboard down with careful precision. She turns on the sink. Water runs.
16 29
INT BUILDING 771 - PLENUM ACCESS — DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 - PLENUM ACCESS — DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 - PLENUM ACCESS — DAY A massive industrial chamber. Rows of HEPA FILTER HOUSINGS line the space like tombs. Each one sealed. Each one trusted.
17 30
INT SERVICE CORRIDOR — BUILDING 771 — DAY
INT. SERVICE CORRIDOR — BUILDING 771 — DAY
INT. SERVICE CORRIDOR — BUILDING 771 — DAY A narrow concrete corridor. Utility lights. Painted pipes. The HUM is louder here -- closer. Jack walks fast. Linda beside him.
18 31
INT TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY A windowless room repurposed in a hurry. Fold-out tables. Too close together. A DOE SEAL on the wall. Fresh tape. Slightly off-level. The HUM is louder here. Ventilation pushed past comfort.
19 34
INT ADMIN HALLWAY — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. ADMIN HALLWAY — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. ADMIN HALLWAY — ROCKY FLATS — DAY A quieter corridor. Fluorescent lights BUZZ overhead. Jack steps away from the command room. The door shuts behind him with a soft click. Muffled voices vanish.
20 35
EXT ADMIN PARKING LOT — CONTINUOUS
EXT. ADMIN PARKING LOT — CONTINUOUS
EXT. ADMIN PARKING LOT — CONTINUOUS Wind skims low across the asphalt. The facility HUMS behind him. Jack walks alone across the lot. Every step feels exposed.
21 37
INT ADMIN HALLWAY - ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. ADMIN HALLWAY - ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. ADMIN HALLWAY - ROCKY FLATS — DAY Tom Haskell -- composed, immaculate -- moves with purpose down a fluorescent corridor. He turns a corner -- A lone pay phone, wedged beside a vending machine.
22 38
EXT DOWNWIND GREENBELT — DAY
EXT. DOWNWIND GREENBELT — DAY
EXT. DOWNWIND GREENBELT — DAY A strip of open land caught between worlds. Dry grass. Cottonwoods. A narrow bike path cuts through. Beyond it -- subdivisions. Rooftops. Back fences. Swing sets. Too close.
23 41
INT BUILDING 771 — SUBLEVEL CORRIDOR — NIGHT
INT. BUILDING 771 — SUBLEVEL CORRIDOR — NIGHT
INT. BUILDING 771 — SUBLEVEL CORRIDOR — NIGHT Concrete walls. Low ceiling. The HUM louder here. An FBI AGENT kneels beside a stack of OLD BLUEPRINTS. Yellowed. Curling at the edges.
24 42
INT HOSPITAL OFFICE — NIGHT
INT. HOSPITAL OFFICE — NIGHT
INT. HOSPITAL OFFICE — NIGHT The hospital has quieted. Dr. Braden sits alone at her desk, sleeves rolled up. On-screen: a SPREADSHEET. Columns:
25 44
INT SUBURBAN OFFICE PARK — NIGHT
INT. SUBURBAN OFFICE PARK — NIGHT
INT. SUBURBAN OFFICE PARK — NIGHT A low, forgettable building. Two stories. Beige stucco. Dark windows. The kind of place that processes payroll. Not secrets. One light on upstairs.
26 45
EXT OFFICE PARK — NIGHT
EXT. OFFICE PARK — NIGHT
771 — MAINT. IRREGULARITIES Inside: Typed reports. Carbon copies. Handwritten notes. Old paper. Yellowed edges. He flips one open.
27 46
INT BAR — NIGHT
INT. BAR — NIGHT
INT. BAR — NIGHT A narrow, dim bar tucked into an old brick building. A neon beer sign BUZZES -- not loud, just present. A few LOCALS nurse drinks. Jack and Linda sit side by side at the bar.
28 50
EXT SECURITY CHECKPOINT — NIGHT
EXT. SECURITY CHECKPOINT — NIGHT
EXT. SECURITY CHECKPOINT — NIGHT The entrance looks like a county fair. News vans. Camera lights blast the fence. Two REPORTERS rehearse lines into mirrors. A HELICOPTER idles overhead, spotlight skating the ground.
29 52
EXT SERVICE ENTRANCE — MOMENTS LATER
EXT. SERVICE ENTRANCE — MOMENTS LATER
EXT. SERVICE ENTRANCE — MOMENTS LATER They slip the sedan through. The gate closes behind them. Far away -- The helicopters thud.
30 53
INT BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT
INT. BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT
INT. BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT The HUM down here isn’t background anymore. It presses against the chest. Jack and Linda stand outside a STEEL AIRLOCK DOOR. Stenciled lettering, faded but legible:
31 54
INT ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS
INT. ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS
INT. ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS The door opens. Light FLOODS out. Cold. White. Endless. They freeze.

The Raid

When an FBI agent and an EPA scientist execute a surprise federal operation at Rocky Flats, their search for accountability uncovers a deliberately concealed cache of plutonium — and a decades-long strategy to bury what couldn’t be explained, threatening downwind communities and the investigators themselves.

See other logline suggestions

Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The script for "The Raid" stands out for its timely exploration of environmental crimes and government cover-ups, set against the backdrop of a little-known but historically significant nuclear facility. The compelling characters, attention to technical detail, and suspenseful narrative make it a compelling and unique addition to the thriller genre, with the potential to captivate audiences interested in stories that blend real-world issues with high-stakes drama.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Highly Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
DeepSeek
 Recommend
Claude
 Recommend
Average Score: 8.6
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To elevate the script's emotional depth and engagement, focus on amplifying the personal stakes for protagonists like Jack and Linda by making their health fears and backstories more immediate and integral to the plot, while deepening antagonist Tom Haskell's motivations to add nuance and complexity. Tighten mid-act pacing by interspersing exposition with action and emotional beats to maintain momentum, ensuring that character arcs build consistently toward clear decisions and resolutions.
For Executives:
The script has strong value as a prestige drama-thriller with a timely, true-story hook that could attract audiences interested in environmental conspiracies, similar to Chernobyl or The Wire, potentially leading to high engagement and series potential. However, risks include underdeveloped personal stakes that could result in emotional detachment, pacing issues in procedural sections that might bore viewers, and market challenges from sensitive real-world topics; without revisions to sharpen character depth and tighten flow, it may struggle to stand out in a crowded genre.
Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 40% Thriller 35% Crime 25%

Setting: 1957 and 1989, Rocky Flats Plant, Colorado

Themes: Concealment and Cover-Up, Corruption and Bureaucratic Inertia, Environmental Devastation and Health Risks, Pursuit of Justice and Truth, Personal Sacrifice and Risk, Control vs. Chaos, The Nature of Evidence and Proof, Disconnection and Isolation

Conflict & Stakes: The main conflict revolves around the investigation into environmental contamination at the Rocky Flats Plant, with high stakes involving public health, corporate secrecy, and potential legal repercussions.

Mood: Tense and foreboding

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The story is based on true events surrounding the Rocky Flats Plant, adding authenticity and urgency to the narrative.
  • Plot Twist: The discovery of a sealed airlock and undocumented contamination reveals systemic cover-ups within the facility.
  • Distinctive Setting: The juxtaposition of a serene suburban environment with the ominous presence of a nuclear facility creates a stark contrast.
  • Innovative Ideas: The screenplay explores the intersection of environmental science and legal drama, highlighting the complexities of regulatory oversight.

Comparable Scripts: Silkwood, The China Syndrome, A Civil Action, The Constant Gardener, Dark Waters, The Insider, Chernobyl (TV Mini-Series), Erin Brockovich, The Report

🎯 Your Top Priorities

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

You have more than one meaningful lever.

Improving Theme (Script Level) and Character Development (Script Level) will have the biggest impact on your overall score next draft.

1. Theme (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Theme (Script Level) score: 7.8
Expected gain: ~9% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.5 in Theme (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,464 similar revisions)
  • This is your top opportunity right now. Focusing your rewrite energy here gives you the best realistic shot at raising the overall rating.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Theme (Script Level) by about +0.5 in one rewrite.
2. Character Development (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Character Development (Script Level) score: 7.3
Expected gain: ~6% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.47 in Character Development (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,600 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Character Development (Script Level) by about +0.47 in one rewrite.
3. Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Moderate Impact Script Level
Your current Emotional Impact (Script Level) score: 7.2
Expected gain: ~6% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.7 in Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~2,672 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Emotional Impact (Script Level) by about +0.7 in one rewrite.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.68
Key Suggestions:
To improve the script from a creative standpoint, prioritize deepening the antagonist Tom Haskell's character by exploring his backstory and motivations, which will add layers to the conflict and make him a more engaging foil to the protagonists. Additionally, focus on tightening pacing in expository scenes to maintain tension and enhance emotional impact, ensuring that character development and plot progression feel dynamic and immersive.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
To refine this script, prioritize deepening character arcs, particularly for secondary figures like Tom Haskell, to add layers of complexity and motivation that heighten dramatic tension. Streamline pacing by reducing expository dialogue and incorporating more visual storytelling to maintain momentum and authenticity, ensuring the narrative's emotional core resonates more powerfully with audiences.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis highlights opportunities to enhance the script by deepening emotional arcs and backstories for key characters like Linda and Tom, who have less dynamic transformations compared to Jack. Focusing on internal conflicts, such as Linda's anxiety and Tom's denial, can create more compelling character development, improve audience empathy, and strengthen thematic elements like environmental justice, ultimately making the narrative more engaging and less reliant on external plot drivers.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script's emotional core is strong, with effective tension and empathy, but it risks audience fatigue due to a lack of variety and insufficient recovery time between intense scenes. To enhance craft, focus on adding moments of contrast, such as brief relief or character-driven interactions, to create emotional peaks and valleys, improving pacing and deepening audience connection without diluting the thriller's intensity.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
From a creative perspective, the script's strength lies in its thematic depth around ethical responsibility and truth versus deception, but to enhance craft, focus on amplifying character internal conflicts—such as Jack and Linda's personal fears and growth—to make their journeys more emotionally resonant and less formulaic. This will heighten tension and audience engagement, ensuring that the philosophical elements are not just intellectual but deeply integrated into character arcs for a more impactful narrative.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
From a creative perspective, the script masterfully uses themes of concealment and environmental risk to build tension, but to elevate its craft, focus on deepening character arcs—such as Jack's internal conflict with health risks and Linda's anxiety-driven rituals—to make the human elements more emotionally resonant and less overshadowed by procedural details. This would enhance audience engagement and thematic depth without altering the core narrative.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's inconsistencies and redundancies, such as unexplained plot holes and repetitive character tics, disrupt narrative flow and character authenticity. Focusing on tightening logical gaps, like how events unfold during the raid, and streamlining motifs, such as the ventilation hum, will enhance pacing, deepen character development, and create a more immersive, believable story that better serves the thriller genre's demands for tension and realism.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The writer's voice excels in creating a tense, atmospheric world through detailed descriptions and subtext-heavy dialogue, which effectively builds suspense and explores themes of secrecy and danger. To enhance the script, focus on integrating more varied character perspectives and emotional depth to balance the environmental focus, ensuring that the pervasive unease serves not just the plot but also deepens audience investment in the characters' personal stakes and moral dilemmas.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
Your screenplay excels in building tension and atmosphere, drawing viewers into a gripping narrative based on true events. To enhance it creatively, concentrate on deepening dialogue with subtext, refining pacing to keep the story dynamic, and exploring characters' internal motivations for richer emotional layers, transforming your solid foundation into a more immersive and compelling piece.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script's world building masterfully uses contrasts between industrial sterility and suburban normalcy to build tension, but to elevate the craft, focus on amplifying sensory details and character-driven moments within these environments. For instance, incorporating more internal monologues or subtle physical reactions to the constant hum and radiation fears could deepen emotional resonance, making the audience feel the pervasive anxiety and moral dilemmas more acutely, thus enhancing thematic impact and character arcs.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The script demonstrates strong command of high-tension scenes that effectively build conflict and emotional depth, but it over-relies on confrontational and foreboding tones, leading to predictable pacing and underdeveloped quieter moments. To enhance craft, focus on integrating subtle conflicts, revelations, or character growth in calmer scenes to create a more balanced narrative flow, improve dialogue consistency, and foster gradual character arcs, ultimately making the story more engaging and less formulaic.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

Comparison with Previous Draft

See how your script has evolved from the previous version. This section highlights improvements, regressions, and changes across all major categories, helping you understand what revisions are working and what may need more attention.

Version Comparison Analysis
Summary of Changes
Improvements (4)
  • Premise - premiseDepth: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
  • Character Complexity - characterConsistency: 8.0 → 9.0 +1.0
  • Character Complexity - antagonistDevelopment: 6.0 → 7.0 +1.0
  • Visual Imagery - emotionalImpact: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
Areas to Review (0)

No regressions detected