1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
Scene Map 60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 2
INT SACRAMENTO, CA - JILL'S OFFICE NIGHT
2 4
EXT A STREET CONTINUOUS
3 7
EXT SACRAMENTO CENTRAL LIBRARY - FRONT DAY
4 9
INT A.G.'S BLDG. - A HALLWAY DAY
5 11
INT JILL'S OFFICE LATER
6 12
INT PERIODICALS DEPT. LATER
7 14
INT A RESTAURANT DAY
8 16
INT A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM DAY
9 17
INT CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON
10 19
EXT A STREET EVENING
11 20
INT JILL'S OFFICE (DREAM)
12 22
INT A BATHROOM - EARLY MORNING
13 23
INT A MEN'S STORE DAY
14 25
EXT A SANDWICH SHOP DAY
15 27
EXT A DELIVERY SERVICE DAY
16 28
EXT AN INTERNET CAFE DAY
17 29
INT AARON'S OFFICE LATER
18 31
INT AN INTERNET CAFÉ LATER
19 32
EXT A PARK - A BENCH DAY
20 33
INT A COFFEE SHOP LATER
21 34
INT AARON'S OFFICE DAY
22 36
INT CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE AFTERNOON
23 37
INT A.G.'S BLDG. - LOBBY DAY
24 39
EXT JAMES AKULLEQ'S HOME EVENING
25 40
INT CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE EVENING
26 42
INT COLD CASE ROOM DAY
27 44
INT AARON'S OFFICE - HALL DAY
28 46
INT CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE EVENING
29 48
INT AN OFFICE SOMEWHERE EVENING
30 51
INT JILL'S OFFICE DAY
31 52
INT AARON'S OFFICE DAY
32 54
EXT STREET BY A.G.'S GARAGE DAY
33 56
INT SPD SQUAD ROOM DAY
34 57
INT JILL'S OFFICE DAY
35 59
INT SPD SQUAD ROOM DAY
36 60
INT JILL'S OFFICE DAY
37 61
INT SACRAMENTO CENTRAL LIBRARY
38 62
INT AARON'S OFFICE
39 64
EXT A DESOLATE FOREST ROAD NIGHT
40 67
INT ER ROOM NIGHT
41 69
INT JILL'S HOSPITAL ROOM LATER
42 71
EXT A RURAL HIGHWAY - AARON'S CAR DAY
43 73
EXT A DIRT ROAD IN ELDORADO FOREST DAY
44 75
INT AN OFFICE DAY
45 77
INT JILL'S OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON
46 78
INT JAMES AKULLEQ'S HOME EVENING
47 79
INT AARON'S OFFICE MORNING
48 80
EXT A PARK BENCH DAY
49 82
EXT LOGAN - SHERIFF'S HEADQUARTERS DAY
50 82
EXT A WEATHERED HOUSE DAY
51 84
INT A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM - EARLY DAWN
52 85
EXT BOY'S HOUSE - YARD DAY
53 88
INT A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM - AS BEFORE
54 91
EXT BOY'S HOUSE DAY
55 92
EXT JACK'S VAN DAY
56 93
INT SACRAMENTO CATHOLIC CHURCH AFTERNOON
57 97
INT APARTMENT OF MOM EVENING
58 99
INT AARON'S OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON
59 100
INT ATTORNEY GEN.'S BLDG. - GARAGE DUSK
60 106
EXT A PARK DAY
Scene Map
60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 2
INT SACRAMENTO, CA - JILL'S OFFICE NIGHT
INT. SACRAMENTO, CA - JILL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
INT. SACRAMENTO, CA - JILL'S OFFICE - NIGHT Wildly snaking colored tentacles of a computer monitor's screensaver undulate on thick blackness, stark shadows enveloping the monitor. A woman's heavy breathing. Then the shrill cry of a telephone.
2 4
EXT A STREET CONTINUOUS
EXT. A STREET - CONTINUOUS
EXT. A STREET - CONTINUOUS The sky is gray, with distant thunder. Grinding car engines, angry horns, roaring buses, people rushing to work. Jill drives by the front of the California Attorney General's Building, turns into the ramp leading down to the garage
3 7
EXT SACRAMENTO CENTRAL LIBRARY - FRONT DAY
EXT. SACRAMENTO CENTRAL LIBRARY - FRONT - DAY
EXT. SACRAMENTO CENTRAL LIBRARY - FRONT - DAY People drift in and out, holding books. A couple have open umbrellas. Rumbles of thunder. INT. PERIODICALS DEPARTMENT A YOUNG PRIEST, mid-30s, hair combed straight over to the
4 9
INT A.G.'S BLDG. - A HALLWAY DAY
INT. A.G.'S BLDG. - A HALLWAY - DAY
INT. A.G.'S BLDG. - A HALLWAY - DAY Jill rushes down a hallway, pushes open a door on which is lettered, "CALVIN GREYSON, SPECIAL AGENT IN CHARGE." She charges past Cal's astonished secretary. INT. CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - LATER
5 11
INT JILL'S OFFICE LATER
INT. JILL'S OFFICE - LATER
INT. JILL'S OFFICE - LATER Jill comes back into her office, throws herself into her desk chair, upset. Her eyes lock on the framed picture on her desk. She finally picks it up, looks at it intently.
6 12
INT PERIODICALS DEPT. LATER
INT. PERIODICALS DEPT. - LATER
INT. PERIODICALS DEPT. - LATER The Librarian walks by, notices that the Young Priest appears frozen. LIBRARIAN Father? Are you all right?
7 14
INT A RESTAURANT DAY
INT. A RESTAURANT - DAY
INT. A RESTAURANT - DAY It is a cozy family restaurant. Aaron, now in his mid 40s, sits at a table with a red checkered tablecloth. A bottle of soda water and a glass with soda are in front of him. Jill enters, spots Aaron, walks toward him, biting her lip.
8 16
INT A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM DAY
INT. A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM - DAY
INT. A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM - DAY A small, shabby, sparsely furnished room, curtains tightly closed. The Young Priest is on his knees by a bed, surrounded by oppressive darkness. He prays fervently, his lips moving
9 17
INT CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON
INT. CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON
INT. CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON Gray dusk filters through the windows. Cal sits at his desk, works his computer. He clicks on a government cyber-detective program, types in his target. "JILL CL -" appears in the target box.
10 19
EXT A STREET EVENING
EXT. A STREET - EVENING
EXT. A STREET - EVENING The Woman from the church walks down a dimly lit street. The Man from the church, still seen only from the back, walks steadily behind her. The Woman finally looks nervously behind her, then relaxes,
11 20
INT JILL'S OFFICE (DREAM)
INT. JILL'S OFFICE (DREAM)
INT. JILL'S OFFICE (DREAM) Jill is holding the receiver of her land line to her ear. MOM (V.O.) The monitor, Jill, turn on - JILL
12 22
INT A BATHROOM - EARLY MORNING
INT. A BATHROOM - EARLY MORNING
INT. A BATHROOM - EARLY MORNING Running water in a sink. A man stands in front of the sink, shaves with a razor and shaving cream, a silver/onyx ring on one finger. Man is only seen chest down. REPORTER is heard on the radio.
13 23
INT A MEN'S STORE DAY
INT. A MEN'S STORE - DAY
INT. A MEN'S STORE - DAY The Young Priest, wearing tinted sunglasses and a black hat takes a man's dressing gown from a rack, brings it to a counter. Female CLERK, 30s, takes the gown from him, smiles.
14 25
EXT A SANDWICH SHOP DAY
EXT. A SANDWICH SHOP - DAY
EXT. A SANDWICH SHOP - DAY Jill and Alisha are sitting outside at a small table. They are finishing their sandwiches and coffees. JILL My mom worked in the DA's satellite
15 27
EXT A DELIVERY SERVICE DAY
EXT. A DELIVERY SERVICE - DAY
EXT. A DELIVERY SERVICE - DAY The Young Priest is inside, paying cash. The package, now labeled, is on the counter. The Young Priest asks the clerk a question. The clerk nods his head, and the Young Priest leaves with a satisfied smile.
16 28
EXT AN INTERNET CAFE DAY
EXT. AN INTERNET CAFE - DAY
EXT. AN INTERNET CAFE - DAY The Young Priest sits in a booth, drinking coffee, lost in thought. On a TV screen A WOMAN NEWS ANCHOR speaks. WOMAN ANCHOR So 'Jack' is back. CBI has
17 29
INT AARON'S OFFICE LATER
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - LATER
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - LATER In an open folder on Aaron's desk lies a photo of Mom. Her name, "Alice Carson," is written at its bottom. Aaron, Jill, and Alisha are still at work. AARON
18 31
INT AN INTERNET CAFÉ LATER
INT. AN INTERNET CAFÉ - LATER
INT. AN INTERNET CAFÉ - LATER The man downloads a cyber-detective program. Only his hands and back are seen. He enters the name of his target. The monitor screen reveals: "JI-". INT. A.G.'S BLDG. - HALLWAY - EVENING
19 32
EXT A PARK - A BENCH DAY
EXT. A PARK - A BENCH - DAY
EXT. A PARK - A BENCH - DAY Boy's Father (face still not seen), the silver/onyx ring on his hand, and Jed, now mid 50s, sit on a bench. Jed looks at the card Jack sent to Boy's Father. JED
20 33
INT A COFFEE SHOP LATER
INT. A COFFEE SHOP - LATER
INT. A COFFEE SHOP - LATER Jill and Aaron are still at their table. A beat of silence. JILL Was there anything different in
21 34
INT AARON'S OFFICE DAY
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - DAY
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - DAY Aaron is watching a large computer screen. COMPUTER SCREEN The Coroner is speaking on the screen. CORONER
22 36
INT CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE AFTERNOON
INT. CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - AFTERNOON
INT. CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - AFTERNOON Cal sits behind his desk, Jill before him. CAL Phillips wants you on the Jack case. Any reason not?
23 37
INT A.G.'S BLDG. - LOBBY DAY
INT. A.G.'S BLDG. - LOBBY - DAY
INT. A.G.'S BLDG. - LOBBY - DAY The seal of the State of California in the floor of the lobby. Jed exits an elevator, walks briskly out of the building. INT. CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - LATER Cal and Jill are still talking.
24 39
EXT JAMES AKULLEQ'S HOME EVENING
EXT. JAMES AKULLEQ'S HOME - EVENING
EXT. JAMES AKULLEQ'S HOME - EVENING A maintained house in an older neighborhood. Jill’s car drives up, stops. Jill gets out, walks to the front door. Jill rings the door bell. On the door is a brass plaque. INSERT
25 40
INT CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE EVENING
INT. CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - EVENING
INT. CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - EVENING Cal works at his computer. On screen are the Attorney General's Human Resources records of someone. The place of birth is shown as "Logan, West Virginia."
26 42
INT COLD CASE ROOM DAY
INT. COLD CASE ROOM - DAY
INT. COLD CASE ROOM - DAY Aaron and Alisha are in the hall by the Cold Case room. ALISHA Can we alert the media about the silk cord? Maybe a sales clerk....
27 44
INT AARON'S OFFICE - HALL DAY
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - HALL - DAY
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - HALL - DAY Aaron gets to his office door just as Jill appears. AARON Something? JILL
28 46
INT CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE EVENING
INT. CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - EVENING
INT. CAL GREYSON'S INNER OFFICE - EVENING A clock reads 9:58 p.m. Cal has a phone receiver in his left hand, punches in an inter-office number on his land line. INT. JILL'S OFFICE - EVENING Jill's head rests in her hands. Her eyes are closed, elbows
29 48
INT AN OFFICE SOMEWHERE EVENING
INT. AN OFFICE SOMEWHERE - EVENING
INT. AN OFFICE SOMEWHERE - EVENING A man's hands on a computer keyboard remotely access Cal's computer. The hand on the mouse clicks on Cal's Internet History. INT. HALLWAY BEFORE CAL'S OFFICE - LATER
30 51
INT JILL'S OFFICE DAY
INT. JILL'S OFFICE - DAY
INT. JILL'S OFFICE - DAY Jill comes down the hall, enters her office, is taking off her jacket when Laurie bursts in. Laurie stops for a split second, then runs to Jill with a wail, embraces her. LAURIE
31 52
INT AARON'S OFFICE DAY
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - DAY
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - DAY Morning. Aaron is at his desk with Alisha. AARON Computer files? ALISHA
32 54
EXT STREET BY A.G.'S GARAGE DAY
EXT. STREET BY A.G.'S GARAGE - DAY
EXT. STREET BY A.G.'S GARAGE - DAY Jack sits in his van, watches the garage exit. He eats ice cream with a wooden spoon from a small paper cup. INT. STANTON'S OFFICE Lettered on the office door: "Thomas Stanton, Assistant
33 56
INT SPD SQUAD ROOM DAY
INT. SPD SQUAD ROOM - DAY
INT. SPD SQUAD ROOM - DAY Aaron, Alisha, young male computer TECH. AARON Wha've you got, techie? TECH
34 57
INT JILL'S OFFICE DAY
INT. JILL'S OFFICE - DAY
INT. JILL'S OFFICE - DAY The phone rings. Jill grabs the receiver. JILL Jill. JACK (V.O.)
35 59
INT SPD SQUAD ROOM DAY
INT. SPD SQUAD ROOM - DAY
INT. SPD SQUAD ROOM - DAY Alisha and several detectives are seated. Aaron is at a blackboard on which is written: J murders Victims dressed '80s style
36 60
INT JILL'S OFFICE DAY
INT. JILL'S OFFICE - DAY
INT. JILL'S OFFICE - DAY "West Virginia Poetry Society" is on the computer screen. Jill is speaking on the phone with an OLDER MAN. JILL How long have you been in the
37 61
INT SACRAMENTO CENTRAL LIBRARY
INT. SACRAMENTO CENTRAL LIBRARY
INT. SACRAMENTO CENTRAL LIBRARY Jill walks to the reference desk, where she sees Librarian. JILL How would I check back issues of an out-of-town newspaper?
38 62
INT AARON'S OFFICE
INT. AARON'S OFFICE
INT. AARON'S OFFICE Aaron, in shirt sleeves, is asleep in an old battered leather stuffed chair. His cell phone is on his desk, set to vibrate.
39 64
EXT A DESOLATE FOREST ROAD NIGHT
EXT. A DESOLATE FOREST ROAD - NIGHT
EXT. A DESOLATE FOREST ROAD - NIGHT Jack drives his van, humming a tune. He stops at a forest, gets out. Goes to the back, opens the doors, shines a flashlight inside. Jed's wrists are handcuffed behind him. His eyes are open and
40 67
INT ER ROOM NIGHT
INT. ER ROOM - NIGHT
INT. ER ROOM - NIGHT Aaron and an ER DOCTOR stand in a hall. The Doctor holds a clipboard with papers. Jill can be seen in a bed through a hall window. DOCTOR
41 69
INT JILL'S HOSPITAL ROOM LATER
INT. JILL'S HOSPITAL ROOM - LATER
INT. JILL'S HOSPITAL ROOM - LATER Jill and Aaron. AARON We'll get a copy of the Logan article, but what's a twenty-eight
42 71
EXT A RURAL HIGHWAY - AARON'S CAR DAY
EXT. A RURAL HIGHWAY - AARON'S CAR - DAY
EXT. A RURAL HIGHWAY - AARON'S CAR - DAY Aaron's car drives east, passes a highway sign. It reads, "Eldorado State Forest - 20 miles." A cell phone rings. INT. AARON'S CAR - DAY
43 73
EXT A DIRT ROAD IN ELDORADO FOREST DAY
EXT. A DIRT ROAD IN ELDORADO FOREST - DAY
EXT. A DIRT ROAD IN ELDORADO FOREST - DAY Aaron's car is parked. He, Jill and Younger Jesuit stand at the side of the road. YOUNGER JESUIT It's incredible that he managed to
44 75
INT AN OFFICE DAY
INT. AN OFFICE - DAY
INT. AN OFFICE - DAY The photograph taken from Jed's apartment, still only showing Mom's face, lies face up on top of an ashtray. There is the sound of a match being struck, and a hand with the silver/onyx ring on it lights a corner of the picture
45 77
INT JILL'S OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON
INT. JILL'S OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON
INT. JILL'S OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON Jill is at her desk. Her land line rings. She picks up. JACK (V.O.) Jack. JILL
46 78
INT JAMES AKULLEQ'S HOME EVENING
INT. JAMES AKULLEQ'S HOME - EVENING
INT. JAMES AKULLEQ'S HOME - EVENING Candle light flickers on the faces of Jill and James. JAMES Shamans know that spirits attach to people, and many traditional
47 79
INT AARON'S OFFICE MORNING
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - MORNING
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - MORNING Aaron, Alisha. ALISHA Watkins' apartment was tossed. Someone looking for something.
48 80
EXT A PARK BENCH DAY
EXT. A PARK BENCH - DAY
EXT. A PARK BENCH - DAY Jack sits on a bench, speaks into a cell phone. JACK Decisions, decisions - coming up soon. Right, Daddy?
49 82
EXT LOGAN - SHERIFF'S HEADQUARTERS DAY
EXT. LOGAN - SHERIFF'S HEADQUARTERS - DAY
EXT. LOGAN - SHERIFF'S HEADQUARTERS - DAY The roar of jet engines fades out. Sign: "Logan County Sheriff's Office." Jill drives up to the small brick building, gets out of the car, walks in.
50 82
EXT A WEATHERED HOUSE DAY
EXT. A WEATHERED HOUSE - DAY
EXT. A WEATHERED HOUSE - DAY Jill's car is parked before the house. Mailbox reads "FRANK CARPENTER." INT. LIVING ROOM
51 84
INT A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM - EARLY DAWN
INT. A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM - EARLY DAWN
INT. A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM - EARLY DAWN On its web high in a corner waits a spider for its prey. Thick curtains on the only window tightly shut out light. Jack sits slumped on the foot of his mattress. He wears only pants, his arms hug his bare torso. He rocks forward and
52 85
EXT BOY'S HOUSE - YARD DAY
EXT. BOY'S HOUSE - YARD - DAY
EXT. BOY'S HOUSE - YARD - DAY Car door slams shut. Jill's parked car is in the background. Carpenter and Jill walk toward the house. The windows are covered with old plastic sheets and boards. CARPENTER
53 88
INT A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM - AS BEFORE
INT. A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM - AS BEFORE
INT. A SEEDY FURNISHED ROOM - AS BEFORE Jack writhes on the bed, as Damian tries to escape his body. DAMIAN No...no...no....
54 91
EXT BOY'S HOUSE DAY
EXT. BOY'S HOUSE - DAY
EXT. BOY'S HOUSE - DAY Jill and Carpenter are coming down the steps. JILL Who found her? CARPENTER
55 92
EXT JACK'S VAN DAY
EXT. JACK'S VAN - DAY
EXT. JACK'S VAN - DAY Jack is in the driver's seat, his cell phone to his ear. JACK Been trying to find me, Daddy? Kind'a hard when I keep tossing
56 93
INT SACRAMENTO CATHOLIC CHURCH AFTERNOON
INT. SACRAMENTO CATHOLIC CHURCH - AFTERNOON
INT. SACRAMENTO CATHOLIC CHURCH - AFTERNOON Jill sits near the center aisle in a rear pew, head down. Jack enters quietly from a rear side door, sits behind Jill's left shoulder. JACK
57 97
INT APARTMENT OF MOM EVENING
INT. APARTMENT OF MOM - EVENING (1998)
INT. APARTMENT OF MOM - EVENING (1998) Young Jill is finishing a piece of birthday cake. MOM Has it been a good birthday? YOUNG JILL
58 99
INT AARON'S OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON
INT. AARON'S OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON Aaron is standing by a window. He is staring out at the approaching darkness. Alisha enters. She appears stunned, has to make an effort to speak.
59 100
INT ATTORNEY GEN.'S BLDG. - GARAGE DUSK
INT. ATTORNEY GEN.'S BLDG. - GARAGE - DUSK
INT. ATTORNEY GEN.'S BLDG. - GARAGE - DUSK Silence. Only parked cars, no people in sight. Toward the right is an elevator, stairs to its right. Elevator doors open. Stanton walks out, the silver/onyx ring on his hand. The elevator doors close behind him.
60 106
EXT A PARK DAY
EXT. A PARK - DAY
EXT. A PARK - DAY Sunshine, a bird flies by. Jill and Laurie walk in a springtime park. Jill wears a flowing, feminine dress. Her movements are fluid and free. She has light makeup on. JILL

RIP THE SHADOWS

When a serene shamanic therapy brings back the missing pieces of a profiler's childhood trauma, she and a determined lieutenant must untangle a decades-old frame-up that links a local power player to a chain of murders — while a dying, charismatic killer plays judge, jury and executioner.

See other logline suggestions

Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The script's unique selling proposition lies in its intricate exploration of the supernatural and psychological elements that shape the protagonist's journey. The script seamlessly blends elements of thriller, drama, and even a touch of horror, creating a multi-layered narrative that delves deep into the human psyche. The script's exploration of the complex relationship between the protagonist and her mother, as well as the incorporation of the "Jack" character as a supernatural entity, sets it apart from more conventional thrillers. The script's compelling character development and the way it tackles themes of trauma, identity, and the cycle of abuse make it a standout in the genre.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Consider
Grok
 Consider
DeepSeek
 Consider
Claude
 Recommend
Average Score: 7.5
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
Focus on tightening the procedural elements to ensure investigative logic feels realistic and believable, while clearly defining the supernatural rules—such as how spirit possession and soul loss operate—to avoid tonal confusion and better integrate them with the psychological drama. Streamline pacing in the middle act by condensing repetitive investigative scenes and deepen secondary character motivations to enhance emotional resonance, ultimately strengthening the script's cohesive narrative and character-driven core.
For Executives:
The script has solid market potential with its unique fusion of procedural thriller and supernatural elements, offering emotional depth that could attract fans of films like 'Se7en' or 'The Sixth Sense', but risks include genre confusion and pacing drags that might limit broad appeal. Revisions are crucial to clarify the supernatural aspects and tighten the plot for commercial viability, as unresolved elements could alienate audiences or hinder production, though the strong protagonist arc and thematic richness provide a compelling hook for niche buyers.
Story Facts
Genres:
Thriller 40% Crime 30% Drama 40% Action 15%

Setting: Present day, Sacramento, California, and Logan, West Virginia

Themes: The Impact of Childhood Trauma and Its Lingering Effects, The Pursuit of Truth and Justice, Identity and Duality, Grief and Loss, The Corrupting Influence of Power and Secrecy, Redemption and Healing, The Nature of Evil

Conflict & Stakes: Jill's struggle to uncover the truth about her mother's murder while confronting her own traumatic past, with the stakes involving her safety and the potential for justice.

Mood: Tense and suspenseful, with moments of introspection and emotional depth.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The intertwining of a psychological thriller with elements of shamanism and spiritual healing.
  • Major Twist: The revelation of Jack's true identity and his connection to Jill's past, which adds layers to the narrative.
  • Distinctive Setting: The contrast between urban Sacramento and the rural, haunting landscapes of Logan, West Virginia.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of flashbacks and dream sequences to explore trauma and memory, enhancing the psychological depth.
  • Unique Characters: Complex characters like Jill and Jack, whose intertwined fates drive the emotional core of the story.

Comparable Scripts: The Silence of the Lambs, Seven, Mindhunter, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Prisoners, The Bone Collector, Sharp Objects, The Lovely Bones, The Killing

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.90
Key Suggestions:
To strengthen the screenplay, focus on deepening underdeveloped characters like the Young Priest and Jack by adding more detailed backstories and motivations, which will enhance emotional resonance and narrative clarity. Additionally, refine pacing by tightening exposition-heavy scenes and ensuring smoother transitions, allowing for a more immersive and engaging story that better integrates themes of trauma and justice.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
To enhance 'RIP THE SHADOWS,' focus on refining the script's pacing to maintain momentum and reduce exposition-heavy sections, while deepening the motivations of secondary characters like Aaron and Alisha for greater emotional resonance. Additionally, integrate the supernatural elements more seamlessly with the core thriller plot to avoid confusion and strengthen thematic coherence, drawing from Jill's personal journey to create a more unified narrative.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis highlights strong, well-defined protagonists like Jill and Aaron, but to elevate the script's emotional depth and narrative impact, focus on integrating more nuanced explorations of their traumas and backstories. By incorporating suggestions such as adding scenes of vulnerability and deepening character arcs, the writer can avoid clichés, enhance audience empathy, and create a more compelling psychological thriller that resonates on a personal level, ultimately strengthening the overall story craft.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
From a creative perspective, the script excels in evoking intense emotions but suffers from an imbalance that could lead to audience fatigue. Focus on incorporating more emotional variety and respite moments, such as adding levity or deeper character reflections, to enhance pacing and build stronger empathy, ultimately creating a more engaging and layered narrative that avoids one-dimensional intensity.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The script's analysis highlights a strong character arc for Jill, but to enhance craft, focus on deepening the integration of internal and external goals to avoid pacing issues in the investigative plot. Ensure that philosophical conflicts like justice versus vengeance are shown through subtle, character-driven moments rather than exposition, making the emotional journey more authentic and resonant, which could elevate the overall narrative tension and thematic impact.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The script's exploration of trauma and healing is compelling, but to elevate it creatively, focus on deepening character arcs, particularly Jill's, by adding more subtle, layered moments of emotional vulnerability and growth. Avoid over-reliance on expository flashbacks; instead, integrate trauma revelations more organically into the narrative to enhance pacing and immersion. Incorporating more diverse perspectives on healing, such as through James Akulleq's shamanic elements, could add richness, ensuring the story doesn't feel formulaic in the crime thriller genre.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's inconsistencies in character emotions, timelines, and plot elements undermine its narrative strength, making it essential to refine emotional arcs for authenticity, clarify event sequences for better pacing, and resolve plot holes to maintain suspense. By streamlining redundancies and ensuring dialogue feels natural, the writer can create a more cohesive and engaging thriller that effectively builds tension and character depth.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The script's voice excels in creating psychological suspense and emotional depth, but to enhance its craft, the writer should focus on streamlining the frequent use of flashbacks to ensure they serve the narrative without overwhelming the audience. By varying pacing and dialogue intensity, the story can maintain its gripping atmosphere while allowing for moments of reflection, preventing emotional saturation and strengthening overall coherence.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
To improve the script's creative craft, focus on enhancing dialogue to reveal character motivations more subtly, refining pacing to build and sustain tension, and deepening character development to add emotional layers. By incorporating thematic exploration and practicing suggested exercises, the writer can create a more immersive and resonant narrative that captivates audiences through better integration of mystery and psychological elements.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The world-building in this script effectively crafts a tense, immersive atmosphere that supports the thriller genre, but to elevate the creative craft, focus on tightening the integration of disparate elements like shamanism and technology to ensure they enhance rather than distract from the narrative flow. By deepening the symbolic use of settings to mirror character emotions more consistently, such as using the physical environment to underscore psychological states, the writer can achieve greater emotional resonance and avoid potential tonal shifts that might dilute the story's intensity, ultimately making the script more cohesive and impactful for audiences.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The script excels in evoking strong emotional responses and tense atmospheres, but to elevate its craft, focus on integrating character development more seamlessly with plot progression and varying tension to avoid monotony. By adding emotional depth to mystery-driven scenes and balancing reflective moments with higher stakes, the narrative can achieve greater depth and engagement, making it a more compelling and well-rounded thriller.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.