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Scene Map 11
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
**INT. LIVING ROOM — NIGHT**
2 4
INT UPSTAIRS BATHROOM – SAME TIME
3 5
INT KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER
4 5
INT HALLWAY / FRONT DOOR – CONTINUOUS
5 6
**EXT. SIDEWALK – CONTINUOUS**
6 6
**INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – HALLWAY – MORNING**
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**INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – MAIN HALL – MORNING**
8 8
**EXT. THE LOOP – LATE AFTERNOON**
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**INT. SADIE’S CAR – LATE AFTERNOON**
10 11
**EXT. STRIP / MALL AREA – DUSK**
11 13
**EXT. SCHOOL FENCE / FOREST EDGE – NIGHT**
Scene Map
11
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
**INT. LIVING ROOM — NIGHT**
**INT. LIVING ROOM — NIGHT**
**INT. LIVING ROOM — NIGHT** Controllers clicking. A game blares. Gio leans forward, locked in. **GIO**
2 4
INT UPSTAIRS BATHROOM – SAME TIME
INT. UPSTAIRS BATHROOM – SAME TIME
INT. UPSTAIRS BATHROOM – SAME TIME This bathroom is medium-sized, not built for traffic. SUMMER is at the mirror fixing her hair. VERA leans against the counter, tying her shoes. SADIE stands in the doorway, fully ready, keys in hand.
3 5
INT KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER
INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER
INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER The house fills with noise. Backpacks thud. Shoes squeak. SUMMER’S MOM stands at the counter, coffee in hand, untouched. She’s dressed, composed — but distant.
4 5
INT HALLWAY / FRONT DOOR – CONTINUOUS
INT. HALLWAY / FRONT DOOR – CONTINUOUS
INT. HALLWAY / FRONT DOOR – CONTINUOUS Sadie jingles her keys. SADIE Alright. Move it, asshats. I’m not missing drop-off traffic for you. HENDRIX
5 6
**EXT. SIDEWALK – CONTINUOUS**
**EXT. SIDEWALK – CONTINUOUS**
**EXT. SIDEWALK – CONTINUOUS** **HENDRIX, GIO, MAX, VERA, and SUMMER** walk in a loose pack, backpacks slung, arguing over each other. **GIO** I’m telling you, if the teacher already hates you—
6 6
**INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – HALLWAY – MORNING**
**INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – HALLWAY – MORNING**
**INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – HALLWAY – MORNING** Lockers slam. Voices overlap. Shoes squeak on tile. The group moves together — instinctively. They slow as schedules come out. Phones up. Paper folded. Everyone checking.
7 7
**INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – MAIN HALL – MORNING**
**INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – MAIN HALL – MORNING**
**INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – MAIN HALL – MORNING** The hallway opens up here. Wider. Brighter. Upperclassmen move differently — slower, more confident. **HENDRIX’S BROTHER** (17–18) leans against a locker with a few teammates. Laughing. Easy.
8 8
**EXT. THE LOOP – LATE AFTERNOON**
**EXT. THE LOOP – LATE AFTERNOON**
**EXT. THE LOOP – LATE AFTERNOON** The sun hangs low. Heat still clings to everything, but the breeze helps. The group sprawls out across the grass and curb like they’ve done this a hundred times. **GIO** lies flat on his back in the grass, tossing a blade of grass straight up, watching it fall.
9 10
**INT. SADIE’S CAR – LATE AFTERNOON**
**INT. SADIE’S CAR – LATE AFTERNOON**
**INT. SADIE’S CAR – LATE AFTERNOON** Music plays — not loud, not quiet. Windows down. Traffic noise mixes in. The car is full.
10 11
**EXT. STRIP / MALL AREA – DUSK**
**EXT. STRIP / MALL AREA – DUSK**
**EXT. STRIP / MALL AREA – DUSK** Neon signs flicker on as daylight fades. Music leaks from storefronts. People everywhere. The group walks together, food bags in hand. Laughing. Talking over each other.
11 13
**EXT. SCHOOL FENCE / FOREST EDGE – NIGHT**
**EXT. SCHOOL FENCE / FOREST EDGE – NIGHT**
**EXT. SCHOOL FENCE / FOREST EDGE – NIGHT** MR. THOMAS stands there, keys in hand, jacket half-zipped. Behind him: the school. lights.

Before We Knew

After a late‑night encounter with a phenomenon that makes floors and air stop 'existing,' five friends grapple with strange residues and a terrifying adult casualty, forcing them to choose between normal teenage life and investigating the silent threat in their town.

See other logline suggestions

Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

A supernatural thriller that grounds its horror in authentic teenage relationships and subtle, atmospheric dread rather than jump scares. The unique selling point is the contrast between the mundane reality of high school life and the quietly terrifying supernatural phenomena that exist alongside it, creating a sense of pervasive unease that feels both familiar and alien.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Recommend
Claude
 Consider
DeepSeek
 Consider
Average Score: 7.8
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To elevate this script, focus on clarifying the supernatural phenomenon's rules—such as what triggers the 'absence' and its limits—to ensure logical progression and avoid audience confusion. Strengthen the emotional core by defining a clear protagonist with a personal stake or arc, enhancing viewer investment. Additionally, tighten pacing in transitional scenes and integrate missing elements like institutional reactions to raise stakes and deepen thematic cohesion, making the story more compelling and structurally sound.
For Executives:
This pilot offers solid value with its atmospheric dread and relatable teen dynamics, appealing to audiences of shows like Stranger Things, potentially attracting a young adult demographic. However, risks include vague supernatural rules that could alienate viewers if unresolved, and a lack of a clear protagonist or episode arc that might dilute engagement and make it harder to sell as a series. Market perception is positive for its unique sensory horror but could be hampered by amateurish elements like inconsistent formatting, requiring polish to compete in a crowded genre.
Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 60% Horror 35% Comedy 15% Thriller 20%

Setting: Contemporary, Stonegrove, a suburban town with a high school, residential areas, and a strip mall

Themes: The Erosion of Normalcy and the Intrusion of the Unexplained, Human Responses to the Unexplained: Denial, Rationalization, and Defiance, The Nature of Hidden Dangers and Underlying Threats, Fragility of Human Connection and Social Dynamics Under Pressure, Ritual, Routine, and the Illusion of Control

Conflict & Stakes: The group faces supernatural phenomena that threaten their safety and sanity, while personal struggles and family dynamics add emotional stakes.

Mood: A mix of light-hearted camaraderie and eerie tension.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The supernatural phenomena that disrupt a seemingly normal teenage gathering.
  • Plot Twist: The gradual revelation of Hendrix's unexplained physical distress linked to the supernatural events.
  • Innovative Ideas: The blend of humor and horror in a coming-of-age context, appealing to both genres.
  • Distinctive Setting: The suburban town of Stonegrove, which contrasts the eerie supernatural occurrences.

Comparable Scripts: Stranger Things, It Follows, The Haunting of Hill House, The Cabin in the Woods, Supernatural, The Goonies, A Quiet Place, The Conjuring, Eerie Indiana

🎯 Your Top Priorities

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

You have more than one meaningful lever.

Improving Emotional Impact (Script Level) and Visual Impact (Script Level) will have the biggest impact on your overall score next draft.

1. Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Emotional Impact (Script Level) score: 7.1
Expected gain: ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.7 in Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~2,329 similar revisions)
  • This is your top opportunity right now. Focusing your rewrite energy here gives you the best realistic shot at raising the overall rating.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Emotional Impact (Script Level) by about +0.7 in one rewrite.
2. Visual Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Visual Impact (Script Level) score: 7.4
Expected gain: ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.4 in Visual Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~4,559 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Visual Impact (Script Level) by about +0.4 in one rewrite.
3. Theme (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Theme (Script Level) score: 7.8
Expected gain: ~3% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.5 in Theme (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,464 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Theme (Script Level) by about +0.5 in one rewrite.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.38
Key Suggestions:
From a creative standpoint, the script's strengths lie in its character dynamics and genre blending, but to enhance emotional resonance and craft, prioritize deepening moments of vulnerability for characters like Max and Summer. This will make their arcs more compelling and ensure that supernatural elements are more intimately tied to personal struggles, fostering a stronger narrative connection and audience engagement.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script excels in creating relatable teen dynamics and a tense atmosphere, but to refine it creatively, focus on balancing the pacing to avoid drags in transitional scenes and integrate the Mr. Thomas subplot more fluidly with the main characters for a tighter narrative. Additionally, deepening character backstories and motivations will strengthen emotional stakes, ensuring supernatural elements enhance rather than dominate the story, leading to a more engaging and cohesive script.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis reveals that while the script has strong foundational elements for characters like Vera and Hendrix, many lack meaningful arcs or depth in vulnerability, making the narrative feel static in places. To enhance the script's craft, focus on developing character growth by incorporating transformation triggers and exploring backstories, ensuring that supernatural events serve as catalysts for emotional evolution rather than just plot devices. This will create more engaging, relatable characters and deepen thematic resonance, particularly in balancing bravery with fear and friendship dynamics.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
To elevate the script's emotional craft, focus on diversifying the emotional range by incorporating more positive emotions and deeper character layers to prevent audience fatigue and enhance engagement. Strengthen emotional continuity and payoff for mysteries by connecting key events across scenes, and develop individual character arcs with specific, relatable stakes to make the supernatural elements more impactful and the story more resonant.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis highlights a strong foundation in exploring internal conflicts and philosophical themes, but to elevate the script's craft, focus on integrating the supernatural elements more seamlessly with the protagonist's personal journey. By deepening moments of vulnerability and authenticity, such as through more nuanced dialogues and interactions, the writer can enhance emotional resonance and avoid clichéd portrayals, ultimately making the character arcs more compelling and the overall narrative more impactful for audiences seeking depth in YA storytelling.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The script masterfully builds tension through the encroachment of the uncanny, but to elevate it creatively, focus on deepening character arcs by making their responses to the unexplained more nuanced and varied—such as showing internal conflicts or growth in denial and defiance—to prevent repetitive patterns and foster greater emotional resonance, ultimately enhancing the human element within the horror framework.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's supernatural elements lack consistent rules, leading to abrupt resolutions and repetitions that feel contrived and weaken narrative tension. To improve, focus on establishing clear mechanics for these phenomena early on and ensure character actions stem from authentic motivations rather than plot convenience. Varying group reactions and resolving minor plot holes, like the dog's unexplained appearance, will enhance coherence and deepen engagement, making the story more compelling and believable.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The writer's voice is a strong asset, with sharp dialogue and evocative descriptions effectively building tension and character depth, but to enhance the script, focus on varying the pacing in transitional scenes to prevent predictability and deepen emotional payoffs, ensuring that the subtle unease is balanced with moments of higher stakes to maintain audience investment and amplify the overall narrative impact.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay effectively captures character dynamics and emotional depth, but to elevate its craft, focus on refining dialogue for added subtext and nuance, building suspense through unpredictable twists, and deepening character motivations to foster stronger audience connections. Engaging with recommended resources and exercises, such as reading 'Save the Cat' and practicing dialogue-only scenes, will help sharpen these elements and enhance overall narrative impact.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The world building in this script effectively establishes a relatable contemporary setting that heightens the impact of supernatural elements, creating strong tension and thematic depth. To enhance the craft, focus on integrating these elements more seamlessly into character arcs, such as exploring how individual responses to anomalies evolve over time, to avoid reliance on external disruptions and foster deeper emotional engagement, ultimately strengthening the narrative's coherence and resonance.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
Your script demonstrates strong tension-building in high-stakes scenes, but casual moments often weaken narrative flow by lacking conflict or progression. To enhance your craft, incorporate subtle foreshadowing, character development, or tonal shifts into these lighter scenes, leveraging your excellent dialogue to maintain consistent pacing and emotional depth, ultimately creating a more engaging and balanced story.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.