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Scene Map 33
# PG SLUGLINE
1 2
INT BEDROOM NIGHT
2 4
INT CAMPUS LIBRARY NIGHT
3 6
EXT SORORITY HOUSE NIGHT
4 6
INT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
5 14
INT RILEY'S BEDROOM – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
6 15
INT ENTRYWAY – CONTINUOUS
7 16
INT ENTRYWAY – CONTINUOUS
8 17
INT BASEMENT STAIRWELL – NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT)
9 20
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
10 28
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY CONTINUOUS
11 29
INT SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN NIGHT
12 33
INT BATHROOM NIGHT
13 35
INT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
14 36
INT LIVING ROOM CONTINUOUS
15 41
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY NIGHT
16 42
INT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
17 45
INT SUE'S ROOM CONTINUOUS
18 47
INT ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK, 1926)
19 47
INT ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
20 49
INT CLOSET NIGHT
21 51
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
22 55
INT SUE’S ROOM NIGHT
23 55
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
24 63
INT BASEMENT CONTINUOUS
25 71
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
26 74
INT BASEMENT STAIRCASE NIGHT
27 75
INT LIVING ROOM CONTINUOUS
28 76
INT KITCHEN NIGHT
29 79
INT LIVING ROOM MOMENTS LATER
30 80
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY CONTINUOUS
31 82
INT ATTIC – NIGHT
32 90
EXT SORORITY HOUSE MORNING
33 91
INT POLICE CRUISER MORNING
Scene Map
33
# PG SLUGLINE
1 2
INT BEDROOM NIGHT
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT BLACK. A ragged breath. Uneven. RILEY CARTER (17) bolts upright in bed -- gasping. Her breath clouds the air.
2 4
INT CAMPUS LIBRARY NIGHT
INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT
INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT Wind howls against arched windows. Stacks loom like silent towers. At the far end of a long oak table sits RILEY (20) -- bundled in a thick coat, posture rigid, nondescript by intent.
3 6
EXT SORORITY HOUSE NIGHT
EXT. SORORITY HOUSE - NIGHT
EXT. SORORITY HOUSE - NIGHT The blizzard SHRIEKS, clawing the sky. Through the whiteout: An old Tudor sorority house looms -- sagging under snow, gables stabbing upward.
4 6
INT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT Holiday lights sag in lazy zigzags -- half burnt out. End-of-semester clutter everywhere: blankets, crumbs, empty bottles. CHELSEA (20) lounges on a beanbag—perfect hair, perfect
5 14
INT RILEY'S BEDROOM – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
INT. RILEY'S BEDROOM – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
INT. RILEY'S BEDROOM – NIGHT (FLASHBACK) Pop music bleeds faintly through a closed door. Seventeen-year-old Riley, radiant in a midnight-blue dress, leans close to her mirror, applying lip gloss with careful precision.
6 15
INT ENTRYWAY – CONTINUOUS
INT. ENTRYWAY – CONTINUOUS
INT. ENTRYWAY – CONTINUOUS Riley reaches the door, smooths her dress, and opens it -- The world STOPS. Ethan stands on the porch. Black tuxedo. Perfectly pressed.
7 16
INT ENTRYWAY – CONTINUOUS
INT. ENTRYWAY – CONTINUOUS
INT. ENTRYWAY – CONTINUOUS Riley presses her back to the door, shaking. Her breath comes shallow. She looks down. Through the glass sidelights --
8 17
INT BASEMENT STAIRWELL – NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT)
INT. BASEMENT STAIRWELL – NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT)
INT. BASEMENT STAIRWELL – NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT) The girls huddle together at the top of the basement stairs. Darkness stares back. BROOKE Okay. No one scream unless it’s
9 20
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT The storm outside thrashes. Wind scratches the windows. In the center of the room -- The Dream Boy box sits on the coffee table -- neon pink letters glinting.
10 28
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY CONTINUOUS
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Chelsea steps onto the second-floor landing. The hallway stretches long and shadow-drenched, old wallpaper peeling in strips. Her lantern casts shaky halos of light across closed doors.
11 29
INT SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN NIGHT
INT. SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
INT. SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) A soft HUM from the old refrigerator. The house is dead still, steeped in shadows. Riley enters in pajamas and a hoodie. She rubs her eyes, still half-asleep, and flicks on the
12 33
INT BATHROOM NIGHT
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT)
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT) Chelsea shuts the door behind her with a SNAP -- sets her lantern on the sink. Its bluish glow makes her skin look waxy -- like a mannequin. CHELSEA
13 35
INT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT Riley and Lilly stand frozen near the staircase -- listening. The house CREAKS. A slow, satisfied sound. Brooke backs toward the front door, shaking her head. INT. FOYER - CONTINUOUS
14 36
INT LIVING ROOM CONTINUOUS
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Brooke's bravado cracks -- just a hairline fracture. Riley turns. The coffee table. The pink phone sits there. Waiting.
15 41
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY NIGHT
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER) Riley and Lilly race down the hallway, lanterns swinging, breathless with panic. Beams play across rows of closed doors --
16 42
INT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT Brooke sits curled in the corner of the couch, knees to her chest, staring at the pink Dream Boy box on the coffee table. The house creaks above her. BROOKE
17 45
INT SUE'S ROOM CONTINUOUS
INT. SUE'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
INT. SUE'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS Riley pushes the door open -- a flashlight beam cuts through the gloom. Lilly shuffles in behind her. Dust floats in beam-thin strips of lantern light.
18 47
INT ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK, 1926)
INT. ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK, 1926)
INT. ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK, 1926) GASLIGHT flickers. Velvet wallpaper breathes. Four women, pale and trembling, sit around a mahogany table. SUPER: 1926 At the head -- SUE (20) -- radiant in black silk, pearls like
19 47
INT ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
INT. ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
INT. ATTIC – NIGHT (FLASHBACK) Sue grips hands with her sisters. SUE Tonight.... we call our boys home. The air hums. The planchette trembles. EDITH lifts the
20 49
INT CLOSET NIGHT
INT. CLOSET - NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT)
INT. CLOSET - NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT) Riley turns her flashlight to the back wall. On it: POLAROIDS. Photos of Riley, Lilly, Brooke, and Chelsea. Arranged in a ceremonial cross. Their names are scrawled
21 51
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Brooke sits on the couch, transfixed on the pink phone. Suddenly -- CLICK. The TV behind her turns on by itself.
22 55
INT SUE’S ROOM NIGHT
INT. SUE’S ROOM - NIGHT
INT. SUE’S ROOM - NIGHT Riley SLAMS the closet panel shut -- the sound cracks through the room like a snapped bone. Riley snatches a silver hairbrush from the vanity and tucks it into her jeans.
23 55
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Riley and Lilly burst into the living room -- breathless, frantic. The room is wrong. Too still. Fireplace embers glow low, dying.
24 63
INT BASEMENT CONTINUOUS
INT. BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS
INT. BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS They reach the bottom of the stairs. Riley scans the basement with her lantern light -- The lantern BUZZES. CLICK.
25 71
INT LIVING ROOM NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT The room sits in stillness. The basement door opens -- Lilly bursts in, panting. Turns around. LILLY
26 74
INT BASEMENT STAIRCASE NIGHT
INT. BASEMENT STAIRCASE - NIGHT
INT. BASEMENT STAIRCASE - NIGHT Riley stands at the bottom of the stairs, lantern trembling in her grip. A faint THUMP above her. Riley freezes.
27 75
INT LIVING ROOM CONTINUOUS
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Riley bursts in -- gasping, wild-eyed. The living room looks... normal. A single floor lamp hums softly. Furniture in place. From the kitchen -- a faint LAUGH.
28 76
INT KITCHEN NIGHT
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly are gathered around the counter. Wearing flour-dusted sweaters, laughing as they drop cookie dough onto trays.
29 79
INT LIVING ROOM MOMENTS LATER
INT. LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
INT. LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER Riley rushes in -- hair wild, face pale. The walls pulse like they’re breathing. RILEY (under breath)
30 80
INT UPSTAIRS HALLWAY CONTINUOUS
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Riley barrels forward -- The hallway ahead blooms wider, then narrows -- breathing in and out, like a throat. Runners of hair spill from door seams, threading into ropes
31 82
INT ATTIC – NIGHT
INT. ATTIC – NIGHT
INT. ATTIC – NIGHT Riley shoulders the hatch. WHOOF -- The air pressure collapses. Cold SUCKS across her face. Her breath ghosts white.
32 90
EXT SORORITY HOUSE MORNING
EXT. SORORITY HOUSE - MORNING
EXT. SORORITY HOUSE - MORNING Snow crews shovel in silence, their breath rising in white plumes. TWO POLICEMEN tape flaps in jagged gusts. Red and blue lights strobe across the Tudor façade.
33 91
INT POLICE CRUISER MORNING
INT. POLICE CRUISER - MORNING
INT. POLICE CRUISER - MORNING Riley sits alone in the back seat, wrapped in a gray blanket. Snow drips from her hair onto the rubber floor. The cruiser idles. Radio low. Static soft. Ordinary.

Dream Boy

When a vintage game called Dream Boy rings to life in an old sorority, it claims its players one by one by manifesting their fears—aging, invisibility, ridicule—leaving psychology major Riley to ritualistically release the bound spirits before she's next.

See other logline suggestions

Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

What sets "Dream Boy" apart is its ability to blend horror and psychological drama in a way that feels fresh and compelling. The script's exploration of trauma and the way it shapes the characters' choices and relationships is both haunting and deeply empathetic. The unique occult-inspired premise, with its intricate rules and rituals, also adds a layer of mystery and intrigue that will likely captivate audiences. Overall, the script's strong character development, atmospheric world-building, and thematic depth make it a standout in the supernatural thriller genre.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
Gemini
 Recommend
DeepSeek
 Consider
Claude
 Recommend
Average Score: 8.1
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To elevate the script's craft, focus on deepening the supporting characters' backstories and motivations to make their arcs more impactful and emotionally resonant, as their current thin development limits audience investment. Additionally, clarify the supernatural rules and mechanics, such as the game's connection to the house and the 'hair binds' concept, to avoid confusion and ensure the horror elements feel cohesive and earned, drawing from the recurring motif strengths to unify the narrative.
For Executives:
The script offers solid value in the horror market with its visually striking set pieces, feminist themes, and blend of personal trauma with supernatural elements, positioning it as a marketable feature for genre fans seeking depth beyond jump scares. However, risks include underdeveloped supporting characters that could result in weak emotional payoffs and audience disengagement, as well as ambiguous supernatural rules that might confuse viewers and dilute tension, potentially hindering commercial success in a competitive field where clarity and character investment are crucial.
Story Facts
Genres:
Horror 70% Thriller 40% Drama 30%

Setting: Contemporary, with flashbacks to the 1970s and 1920s, A sorority house and its surroundings, including a campus library and various indoor settings

Themes: The Cyclical Nature of Trauma and Spiritual Corruption, The Fight for Agency and Self-Preservation, The Deceptive Nature of Appearances, The Dark Side of Female Camaraderie and Desire, The Power of Belief and Perception, The Scars of Past Trauma

Conflict & Stakes: Riley's struggle against Ethan's psychological and physical threats, the supernatural forces tied to the sorority house, and the need to confront her past traumas.

Mood: Intensely suspenseful and horrifying, with moments of psychological tension.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The intertwining of psychological horror with supernatural elements, particularly through the Dream Boy game.
  • Plot Twist: The revelation of the house's dark history and its connection to the characters' pasts.
  • Distinctive Setting: The sorority house serves as a character itself, with a rich history and supernatural presence.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of Polaroids and hair as symbols of connection and possession.
  • Genre Blend: Combines elements of psychological thriller, supernatural horror, and coming-of-age drama.

Comparable Scripts: The Haunting of Hill House, It Follows, Final Destination, The Ring, Pretty Little Liars, The Craft, Carrie, The Conjuring, Ghost Stories

🎯 Your Top Priorities

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

You have more than one meaningful lever.

Improving Visual Impact (Script Level) and Character Development (Script Level) will have the biggest impact on your overall score next draft.

1. Visual Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Visual Impact (Script Level) score: 8.0
Expected gain: ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.43 in Visual Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~1,683 similar revisions)
  • This is your top opportunity right now. Focusing your rewrite energy here gives you the best realistic shot at raising the overall rating.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Visual Impact (Script Level) by about +0.43 in one rewrite.
2. Character Development (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Character Development (Script Level) score: 7.6
Expected gain: ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.43 in Character Development (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~4,567 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Character Development (Script Level) by about +0.43 in one rewrite.
3. Theme (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Theme (Script Level) score: 8.0
Expected gain: ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.45 in Theme (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,490 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Theme (Script Level) by about +0.45 in one rewrite.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.98
Key Suggestions:
To elevate the script's creative depth, focus on fleshing out the supporting characters like Chelsea and Brooke with more detailed arcs and vulnerabilities, drawing parallels to Riley's journey for greater emotional resonance. Additionally, clarify supernatural elements and tighten pacing in key scenes to maintain tension and avoid confusion, ensuring a more cohesive and impactful narrative that strengthens the psychological horror aspects.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
To elevate this horror script, focus on streamlining the supernatural elements to center on a core conflict tied to Riley's trauma, which will sharpen the narrative and reduce convolution. Enhance character backstories and motivations for deeper emotional resonance, and refine pacing across all sections by cutting repetitive elements and allowing more breathing room for tension and reflection. Incorporating subtle foreshadowing and fresh twists on horror tropes will make the story more original and engaging, ultimately strengthening its psychological depth and impact.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis highlights Riley as a strong, relatable protagonist with deep emotional layers, but supporting characters like Lilly, Brooke, and Chelsea lack sufficient arc development and depth, which could make the story feel unbalanced. To enhance the script's craft, focus on fleshing out backstories, clarifying transformation triggers, and integrating more nuanced dialogue that reveals internal conflicts. This would strengthen emotional resonance and ensure all characters contribute meaningfully to themes of trauma and empowerment, making the horror elements more impactful and cohesive.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
To improve the script's emotional craft, focus on enhancing emotional variety and depth by incorporating more balanced contrasts between horror and moments of warmth, nostalgia, or character connection. Deepen sub-emotions in key scenes, such as adding layers of regret or guilt during character deaths, to create a more nuanced and engaging narrative that avoids emotional fatigue and strengthens audience investment in the characters' journeys.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis highlights Riley's strong character arc from victimhood to empowerment, driven by internal and external conflicts. To improve the script creatively, focus on amplifying the philosophical conflict of 'Agency vs. Manipulation' by weaving in more subtle, personal moments that illustrate Riley's growth, ensuring that her internal struggles are as visceral and engaging as the external horrors. This will enhance emotional depth and pacing, making the resolution more satisfying and the themes of identity and autonomy resonate more powerfully with audiences.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
From a creative perspective, the script's strong emphasis on cyclical trauma and self-preservation offers rich opportunities for enhancement. Focus on deepening character arcs, particularly Riley's, by integrating more nuanced psychological elements and subtle foreshadowing to make the theme's recurrence more emotionally resonant and less reliant on overt supernatural reveals. This could elevate the horror by blending personal trauma with the occult more seamlessly, ensuring the audience feels the weight of the cycle through character development rather than just plot devices.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's inconsistencies in character development, story logic, and plot resolution undermine its potential for a cohesive and immersive horror experience. To improve, focus on building Riley's expertise and resilience through earlier scenes with subtle hints of her background, ensuring supernatural elements are seamlessly integrated with the initial realistic threats, and resolving key plot holes like the curse's mechanics and ending ambiguity for a more satisfying arc. Streamlining redundancies, such as repetitive sound effects and flashbacks, will enhance pacing and maintain tension, allowing the horror elements to build organically and deepen emotional engagement.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The script's voice excels in building atmospheric suspense and psychological depth, but to elevate it further, focus on integrating more varied pacing and character-driven moments to prevent the tension from becoming formulaic. By expanding on the internal struggles of characters like Riley, incorporating subtle foreshadowing, and balancing horror elements with emotional arcs, the writer can create a more nuanced narrative that resonates deeply and avoids over-reliance on shock tactics, ultimately enhancing the script's replay value and thematic impact.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
To enhance your screenplay's craft, concentrate on tightening pacing for better suspense, enriching dialogue with subtext to add emotional depth, and fleshing out character arcs to make motivations more relatable. Drawing from the analysis, incorporating exercises like writing monologues and studying influential works will help transform your atmospheric horror into a more engaging and psychologically nuanced story.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script's world-building masterfully creates a suffocating atmosphere of dread and psychological horror, but to elevate the craft, focus on refining the supernatural elements for clearer rules and internal logic, ensuring that cultural and societal aspects like sorority rituals and personal traumas are more intricately woven into character arcs. This will enhance tension, prevent audience confusion, and deepen emotional resonance, making the horror more impactful and cohesive.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis reveals that repetitive tones can stifle character development, making arcs feel static, while escalating intense tones effectively build tension but may overshadow earlier scenes. To improve, diversify tone usage early on to foster dynamic character growth, strengthen foundational motivations for better emotional resonance, and experiment with dialogue in non-suspenseful contexts to enhance versatility and depth, ensuring a more engaging and nuanced horror narrative.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

Comparison with Previous Draft

See how your script has evolved from the previous version. This section highlights improvements, regressions, and changes across all major categories, helping you understand what revisions are working and what may need more attention.

Version Comparison Analysis
Summary of Changes
Improvements (5)
  • Emotional Impact - emotionalVariety: 7.0 → 9.0 +2.0
  • Emotional Impact - transformationalEmotionalArcs: 7.0 → 9.0 +2.0
  • Premise - premiseClarity: 6.0 → 8.0 +2.0
  • Premise - hookStrength: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
  • Premise - contributionToNarrative: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
Areas to Review (0)

No regressions detected