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Scene Map 28
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
INT BUILDING 771 -- PLUTONIUM RECOVERY & FABRICATION — NIGHT
2 5
EXT SUBURBAN DENVER — NIGHT
3 6
INT HALLWAY — BUILDING 771 — MORNING
4 8
EXT ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — MORNING
5 9
INT SECURITY BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
6 10
INT CONFERENCE ROOM — MOMENTS LATER
7 11
EXT PARKING LOT — SAME
8 12
EXT ROCKY FLATS PLANT — ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — LATE
9 13
EXT ADMIN BUILDING — CONTINUOUS
10 13
EXT COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
11 15
EXT COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
12 16
INT BUILDING 771 — PROCESSING ROOM — DAY
13 18
INT PROCESSING ROOM — CONTINUOUS
14 19
INT HALLWAY OUTSIDE — MOMENTS LATER
15 20
INT RECORDS STORAGE — BUILDING 771 — DAY
16 24
INT BUILDING 771 — INCINERATOR LEVEL — DAY
17 25
INT VENTILATION SHAFT — CONTINUOUS
18 25
INT VENTILATION SHAFT — CONTINUOUS
19 26
INT PLENUM ACCESS — MOMENTS LATER
20 27
INT PLENUM CHAMBER — CONTINUOUS
21 28
INT INCINERATOR LEVEL — CONTINUOUS
22 29
INT PLENUM CHAMBER — BACK
23 29
INT TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
24 34
EXT DOWNWIND OPEN LAND — LATE AFTERNOON
25 39
INT LOW-CEILING BAR — NIGHT
26 44
INT ROCKY FLATS — UNKNOWN ROOM — NIGHT
27 45
INT BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT
28 47
INT ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS
Scene Map
28
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
INT BUILDING 771 -- PLUTONIUM RECOVERY & FABRICATION — NIGHT
INT. BUILDING 771 -- PLUTONIUM RECOVERY & FABRICATION — NIGHT
SCRIPT TITLE Written by Name of First Writer Based on, If Any Address
2 5
EXT SUBURBAN DENVER — NIGHT
EXT. SUBURBAN DENVER — NIGHT
EXT. SUBURBAN DENVER — NIGHT Quiet neighborhoods. Backyards. Clotheslines. Open windows. The same wind moves gently through trees. Nothing looks wrong.
3 6
INT HALLWAY — BUILDING 771 — MORNING
INT. HALLWAY — BUILDING 771 — MORNING
INT. HALLWAY — BUILDING 771 — MORNING Bright. Sterile. Immaculate. The same long corridors as 1957 -- but scrubbed of memory. New paint. New signage.
4 8
EXT ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — MORNING
EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — MORNING
EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — SECURITY CHECKPOINT — MORNING A late-model SEDAN rolls toward the gate. No sirens. No urgency. The DRIVER -- JACK MORROW (40s) -- wears khakis, a
5 9
INT SECURITY BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
INT. SECURITY BOOTH — CONTINUOUS
INT. SECURITY BOOTH — CONTINUOUS The guard picks up a phone. Jack watches through the glass. Linda opens her folder—just enough for the guard to see official letterhead.
6 10
INT CONFERENCE ROOM — MOMENTS LATER
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM — MOMENTS LATER
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM — MOMENTS LATER A clean, well-appointed room. Coffee already poured. TOM HASKELL (50s)-- Rockwell facility manager -- enters, smiling.
7 11
EXT PARKING LOT — SAME
EXT. PARKING LOT — SAME
EXT. PARKING LOT — SAME From a distance, UNMARKED VEHICLES begin arriving. One by one. They park calmly. Deliberately.
8 12
EXT ROCKY FLATS PLANT — ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — LATE
EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — LATE
EXT. ROCKY FLATS PLANT — ADMINISTRATION BUILDING — LATE MORNING A mild Colorado morning. Blue sky. Light wind.
9 13
EXT ADMIN BUILDING — CONTINUOUS
EXT. ADMIN BUILDING — CONTINUOUS
EXT. ADMIN BUILDING — CONTINUOUS Haskell watches the vehicles approach. His smile fades. TOM HASKELL Are those --
10 13
EXT COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS The convoy pours in. Doors open. FBI AGENTS step out -- armed, calm, methodical. More than expected.
11 15
EXT COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS
EXT. COURTYARD — CONTINUOUS Agents fan out. Some head for BUILDING 771. Others for records. Others to lock down exits.
12 16
INT BUILDING 771 — PROCESSING ROOM — DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 — PROCESSING ROOM — DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 — PROCESSING ROOM — DAY A heavy steel door swings open. Jack, Linda, and two FBI AGENTS step inside. The room is spotless. Too spotless.
13 18
INT PROCESSING ROOM — CONTINUOUS
INT. PROCESSING ROOM — CONTINUOUS
INT. PROCESSING ROOM — CONTINUOUS One of the FBI AGENTS opens a cabinet. Empty. Another opens a secondary storage bay. Also empty.
14 19
INT HALLWAY OUTSIDE — MOMENTS LATER
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE — MOMENTS LATER
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE — MOMENTS LATER Jack and Linda step out. The door CLANGS shut behind them. Agents move past, heading deeper into the facility. Linda keeps walking.
15 20
INT RECORDS STORAGE — BUILDING 771 — DAY
INT. RECORDS STORAGE — BUILDING 771 — DAY
INT. RECORDS STORAGE — BUILDING 771 — DAY A narrow room lined with METAL FILE CABINETS. Boxes stacked neatly along the walls. Each labeled. Each indexed. Too orderly.
16 24
INT BUILDING 771 — INCINERATOR LEVEL — DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 — INCINERATOR LEVEL — DAY
INT. BUILDING 771 — INCINERATOR LEVEL — DAY A lower level. Older. Louder. The air feels different here -- thicker, warmer.
17 25
INT VENTILATION SHAFT — CONTINUOUS
INT. VENTILATION SHAFT — CONTINUOUS
INT. VENTILATION SHAFT — CONTINUOUS Darkness. A tunnel of corrugated metal stretching away. The technician shines a flashlight inside. The beam catches --
18 25
INT VENTILATION SHAFT — CONTINUOUS
INT. VENTILATION SHAFT — CONTINUOUS
INT. VENTILATION SHAFT — CONTINUOUS An FBI AGENT swabs the interior wall. The cloth comes away gray. Almost shimmering.
19 26
INT PLENUM ACCESS — MOMENTS LATER
INT. PLENUM ACCESS — MOMENTS LATER
INT. PLENUM ACCESS — MOMENTS LATER A massive industrial chamber. Rows of HEPA FILTER HOUSINGS line the space like tombs. Each one sealed. Each one trusted.
20 27
INT PLENUM CHAMBER — CONTINUOUS
INT. PLENUM CHAMBER — CONTINUOUS
INT. PLENUM CHAMBER — CONTINUOUS Another housing is opened. Then another. All the same. Contaminated.
21 28
INT INCINERATOR LEVEL — CONTINUOUS
INT. INCINERATOR LEVEL — CONTINUOUS
INT. INCINERATOR LEVEL — CONTINUOUS Jack steps away from the group. Keys his radio. Keeps his voice calm. JACK MORROW
22 29
INT PLENUM CHAMBER — BACK
INT. PLENUM CHAMBER — BACK
INT. PLENUM CHAMBER — BACK Jack joins Linda. LINDA PARK They told us this was paperwork. Jack nods.
23 29
INT TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY
INT. TEMPORARY COMMAND ROOM — ROCKY FLATS — DAY A windowless room repurposed in a hurry. Fold-out tables. Phones. Maps pinned to corkboard. A DOE SEAL on the wall. Freshly taped. Slightly crooked.
24 34
EXT DOWNWIND OPEN LAND — LATE AFTERNOON
EXT. DOWNWIND OPEN LAND — LATE AFTERNOON
EXT. DOWNWIND OPEN LAND — LATE AFTERNOON Rolling grass. Dry dirt. A fence line. A mild Colorado breeze moving like nothing. In the distance: the ROCKY FLATS PERIMETER — low buildings,
25 39
INT LOW-CEILING BAR — NIGHT
INT. LOW-CEILING BAR — NIGHT
INT. LOW-CEILING BAR — NIGHT A narrow, dim bar tucked into an old brick building. Wood worn smooth by decades of elbows. A neon beer sign BUZZES — not loud, just present. A few LOCALS nurse drinks. No TV sound. Just low
26 44
INT ROCKY FLATS — UNKNOWN ROOM — NIGHT
INT. ROCKY FLATS — UNKNOWN ROOM — NIGHT
INT. ROCKY FLATS — UNKNOWN ROOM — NIGHT Low light. An FBI AGENT (O.S.) — breath slightly quickened, but controlled. FBI AGENT (V.O.)
27 45
INT BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT
INT. BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT
INT. BUILDING 771 — LOWER SUBLEVEL — NIGHT The corridor narrows. Paint flakes. Pipes sweat. The HUM down here isn’t background anymore -- it presses against the chest.
28 47
INT ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS
INT. ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS
INT. ROOM 141 — CONTINUOUS The door opens. Light FLOODS out. Cold. White. Endless. Jack freezes.

The Raid

When a federal investigation into a credible eco-terror threat at a nuclear weapons facility uncovers a decades-long cover-up of radioactive contamination, two agents must race against time to expose the truth and prevent a potential environmental disaster.

See other logline suggestions

Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

This script transforms a historical bureaucratic investigation into a visceral, slow-burn horror story. Its USP is the fusion of a taut procedural with the existential dread of invisible contamination—both radioactive and institutional. It's 'Chernobyl' meets 'All the President's Men,' set against the American West, offering a uniquely chilling critique of systems that prioritize secrecy over safety, making the very air and landscape feel threatening.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Highly Recommend
Claude
 Consider
Grok
 Recommend
DeepSeek
 Recommend
Average Score: 8.5
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To enhance the script's creative impact, focus on developing deeper, more personal motivations for antagonists to elevate dramatic tension beyond generic bureaucracy, streamline pacing by reducing repetitive procedural beats to maintain momentum, and clarify the series arc by defining character turning points and the overall structure. Incorporating diverse perspectives, like civilian impacts, would add emotional depth and broaden the narrative's scope, making the invisible threats more viscerally engaging and thematically resonant.
For Executives:
This pilot has strong value as a atmospheric, historically grounded thriller with potential for serialization and appeal to niche audiences interested in environmental conspiracies, similar to Chernobyl or The Wire, offering awards buzz and educational depth. However, risks include underdeveloped antagonist arcs that could lead to shallow conflicts in later episodes, unclear series architecture hindering pitching and development, and a narrow focus that might limit mainstream appeal, potentially resulting in middling ratings if not refined to include broader human stakes.
Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 35% Thriller 45% Crime 25%

Setting: 1957 and 1989, Rocky Flats Plant, Colorado

Themes: Secrecy and Denial, Environmental Contamination, Bureaucratic Incompetence/Obstruction, Moral Responsibility and Accountability, Human Resilience and the Pursuit of Truth, Technological Hubris

Conflict & Stakes: The main conflict revolves around the investigation of contamination at the Rocky Flats Plant, with the stakes being public safety, environmental health, and the potential exposure of systemic corruption and negligence.

Mood: Tense and foreboding

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The investigation of a nuclear facility's contamination and the hidden dangers of radioactive waste.
  • Plot Twist: The revelation that the contamination is not contained and has spread beyond the facility, indicating systemic negligence.
  • Distinctive Setting: The Rocky Flats Plant, a real nuclear facility with a complex history, adds authenticity and urgency to the narrative.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of environmental sampling and scientific investigation as central plot devices to uncover hidden dangers.

Comparable Scripts: Silkwood, The China Syndrome, A Civil Action, The Constant Gardener, Chernobyl (TV Mini-Series), The Insider, Dark Waters, The Report, The Day After

🎯 Your Top Priorities

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

You have more than one meaningful lever.

Improving Theme (Script Level) and Premise (Script Level) will have the biggest impact on your overall score next draft.

1. Theme (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Theme (Script Level) score: 7.8
Expected gain: ~7% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.5 in Theme (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,464 similar revisions)
  • This is your top opportunity right now. Focusing your rewrite energy here gives you the best realistic shot at raising the overall rating.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Theme (Script Level) by about +0.5 in one rewrite.
2. Premise (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Premise (Script Level) score: 7.9
Expected gain: ~5% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.5 in Premise (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~1,875 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Premise (Script Level) by about +0.5 in one rewrite.
3. Character Development (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Character Development (Script Level) score: 7.3
Expected gain: ~5% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.47 in Character Development (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,600 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Character Development (Script Level) by about +0.47 in one rewrite.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.58
Key Suggestions:
To improve the screenplay from a creative standpoint, prioritize deepening the emotional backstories and vulnerabilities of main characters Jack and Linda by incorporating subtle flashbacks or revealing dialogues. This will enhance their relatability, strengthen audience investment, and amplify the moral dilemmas, making the narrative more emotionally resonant and impactful overall.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
To improve the script from a creative and craft perspective, focus on balancing the procedural elements with more character-driven scenes that delve into personal stakes and emotional responses, reducing reliance on exposition to maintain tension and engagement. Enhance foreshadowing of key events, such as the discovery in Room 141, and clarify the human impact on local communities through subplots to make the environmental themes more resonant and the climax less abrupt, ultimately strengthening the narrative's emotional depth and pacing.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis highlights that while Linda and Jack are compelling protagonists with strong foundations, their arcs could be deepened by incorporating more transformative moments and emotional vulnerability, such as exploring their personal histories through flashbacks or subtle dialogue. This would enhance audience engagement and thematic resonance, particularly in scenes like the weakest identified (scene 12), where their passivity undermines tension—focusing on these elements will make the script more emotionally impactful and drive a tighter narrative flow.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script's emotional arc is compelling but could be enhanced by incorporating more emotional variety, such as brief moments of professional satisfaction or positive interactions, to avoid monotony and better engage audiences. Additionally, improving pacing with strategic emotional breaks and deepening empathy for secondary characters would create a more balanced and impactful story, ensuring the tension builds effectively without overwhelming the viewer, ultimately strengthening the narrative's emotional depth and resonance.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis reveals that while the script effectively builds tension through evolving goals and philosophical conflicts, the unresolved nature of key conflicts, such as the tension between transparency and secrecy, could benefit from stronger character-driven resolutions to enhance emotional depth and provide a more satisfying arc. Consider amplifying Jack's internal journey with moments of personal reflection or decisive actions that tie into the themes, ensuring the audience feels the weight of the moral dilemmas without leaving too many loose ends, which could elevate the craft and make the story more impactful.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
From a creative perspective, the script effectively builds tension through themes of secrecy and denial, but to enhance its craft, consider amplifying character-driven moments that reveal personal stakes, such as expanding on Jack and Linda's backstories to make the pursuit of truth more emotionally resonant. This would deepen audience engagement and strengthen the contrast between the sterile, controlled environments and the chaotic undercurrents, making the narrative more compelling and less reliant on expository details.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script effectively builds tension through atmospheric details and contrasts, but inconsistencies in character motivations and plot logic, such as unexplained deceptions and redundancies in descriptive elements, undermine its coherence. To enhance craft, focus on resolving key plot holes for better believability, developing character authenticity to avoid feeling plot-driven, and streamlining repetitive scenes to maintain pacing and emotional depth, ultimately strengthening the narrative's impact.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The script's voice excels in building suspense through concise descriptions and understated dialogue, effectively immersing audiences in a world of hidden dangers. To enhance this, consider expanding character backstories and emotional arcs to deepen audience investment, ensuring that the pervasive tension doesn't overshadow relational dynamics, which could make the narrative more relatable and impactful in a creative sense.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay effectively builds suspense and atmosphere, but to enhance its craft, focus on deepening character motivations and internal conflicts, adding subtext to dialogue for richer interactions, and refining pacing to gradually escalate tension. By incorporating targeted exercises and studying exemplary works, the writer can create a more emotionally resonant and engaging narrative.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
From a creative perspective, the script's world-building effectively contrasts sterile normalcy with hidden dangers, enhancing tension and thematic depth, but could be refined by integrating more character-driven moments that reveal personal stakes through environmental interactions. This would amplify emotional resonance and pacing, ensuring the world feels lived-in rather than just a backdrop, drawing viewers deeper into the themes of secrecy and vulnerability without overwhelming the narrative flow.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The script's strength lies in its escalating tension and strong dialogue, but the analysis highlights opportunities for improvement by addressing routine scenes that may reduce engagement. To enhance the craft, incorporate subtle conflicts or foreshadowing in less dynamic sections, utilize more reflective moments for character depth, and diversify emotional tones beyond foreboding to create a more nuanced and engaging narrative, ensuring a smoother progression and broader appeal.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.