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Scene Map 13
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
INT LIVING ROOM — NIGHT
2 8
INT UPSTAIRS BATHROOM – SAME TIME
3 8
INT KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER
4 9
EXT DRIVEWAY – MORNING
5 12
INT STONEGROVE HIGH – HALLWAY – MORNING
6 13
INT STONEGROVE HIGH – MAIN HALL – MORNING
7 15
EXT THE LOOP – LATE AFTERNOON
8 18
EXT THE STRIP – DUSK
9 19
EXT FOOD SPOT / LOW WALL – CONTINUOUS
10 20
EXT STRIP – WALKWAY (BOYS)
11 21
EXT BENCH / LOW WALL – MOMENTS LATER
12 23
EXT SCHOOL FENCE / FOREST EDGE — NIGHT
13 27
EXT FOREST EDGE — NIGHT
Scene Map
13
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
INT LIVING ROOM — NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM — NIGHT
INT. LIVING ROOM — NIGHT Controllers clicking. A game blares. Gio leans forward, locked in. GIO
2 8
INT UPSTAIRS BATHROOM – SAME TIME
INT. UPSTAIRS BATHROOM – SAME TIME
INT. UPSTAIRS BATHROOM – SAME TIME This bathroom is medium-sized, not built for traffic. SUMMER is at the mirror fixing her hair. VERA leans against the counter, tying her shoes. SADIE stands in the doorway, fully ready, keys in hand.
3 8
INT KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER
INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER
INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER The house fills with noise. Backpacks thud. Shoes squeak. SUMMER’S MOM stands at the counter, coffee in hand, untouched. She’s dressed, composed — but distant. Cut to Microwave beeping Summer’s mom flinches slightly as the microwave BEEPS.
4 9
EXT DRIVEWAY – MORNING
EXT. DRIVEWAY – MORNING
EXT. DRIVEWAY – MORNING They load into Sadie’s car. Summer pauses at the door, glancing back inside. Her mom stands in the kitchen, watching them leave. They lock eyes.
5 12
INT STONEGROVE HIGH – HALLWAY – MORNING
INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – HALLWAY – MORNING
INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – HALLWAY – MORNING Lockers slam. Voices overlap. Shoes squeak on tile. PA system goes off : welcome freshman to your first day at - (cuts off when they splits ) The group moves together — instinctively. They slow as schedules come out.
6 13
INT STONEGROVE HIGH – MAIN HALL – MORNING
INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – MAIN HALL – MORNING
INT. STONEGROVE HIGH – MAIN HALL – MORNING The hallway opens up here. Wider. Brighter. Lockers slam. Voices overlap. Shoes squeak on tile.
7 15
EXT THE LOOP – LATE AFTERNOON
EXT. THE LOOP – LATE AFTERNOON
EXT. THE LOOP – LATE AFTERNOON The sun hangs low. Heat still clings to everything, but the breeze helps. The group sprawls out across the grass and curb like they’ve done this a hundred times. GIO lies flat on his back in the grass, tossing a blade of grass straight up, watching it fall.
8 18
EXT THE STRIP – DUSK
EXT. THE STRIP – DUSK
EXT. THE STRIP – DUSK Neon flickers on as daylight fades. Music leaks from storefronts. Laughter. Traffic rolling slow. Alive. The group moves together, food bags swinging, voices overlapping.
9 19
EXT FOOD SPOT / LOW WALL – CONTINUOUS
EXT. FOOD SPOT / LOW WALL – CONTINUOUS
EXT. FOOD SPOT / LOW WALL – CONTINUOUS They stop near a low concrete wall. Paper bags. Plastic trays. Drinks sweating in the heat. They eat half-standing, half-sitting, constantly shifting. No one fully relaxes.
10 20
EXT STRIP – WALKWAY (BOYS)
EXT. STRIP – WALKWAY (BOYS)
EXT. STRIP – WALKWAY (BOYS) They walk past storefronts. Mall noise everywhere. Shoes on pavement. Music bleeding out. Voices brushing by. Then—
11 21
EXT BENCH / LOW WALL – MOMENTS LATER
EXT. BENCH / LOW WALL – MOMENTS LATER
EXT. BENCH / LOW WALL – MOMENTS LATER Hendrix sits. Not dramatic. Just needs a second. Gio watches him.
12 23
EXT SCHOOL FENCE / FOREST EDGE — NIGHT
EXT. SCHOOL FENCE / FOREST EDGE — NIGHT
EXT. SCHOOL FENCE / FOREST EDGE — NIGHT MR. THOMAS REED stands at the edge of the property. Behind him: school lights. buzzing electricity.
13 27
EXT FOREST EDGE — NIGHT
EXT. FOREST EDGE — NIGHT
EXT. FOREST EDGE — NIGHT Mr. Thomas’s body drops out of nothing. It hits the dirt wrong. Hard. Still.

Before We Knew

When pockets of the world begin to 'not finish' — floors that stop existing and air that compresses — a tight-knit group of teenagers must reconcile everyday high-school life with an expanding void that swallows anyone who crosses its seam.

See other logline suggestions

Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The script's unique selling proposition is its 'quiet apocalypse' approach—creating horror through subtle environmental anomalies and psychological dread rather than overt monsters or violence. It combines authentic Gen-Z character dynamics with Lovecraftian environmental horror, where the threat isn't a creature but reality itself malfunctioning. This fresh take on supernatural horror would appeal to audiences tired of jump-scare reliant stories, offering a more cerebral, atmospheric alternative in the teen drama/supernatural thriller space.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
Claude
 Consider
DeepSeek
 Consider
Average Score: 7.6
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To elevate your script, focus on clarifying the supernatural phenomenon's rules and mechanics early on to build a more engaging mystery that audiences can theorize about. Additionally, commit to a single protagonist with a clear emotional arc—such as Hendrix's unexplained injury or Summer's grief—to provide a stronger narrative anchor and deepen viewer investment. Strengthen transitions between atmospheric tension and everyday teen life to avoid pacing drags, ensuring the story's quiet horror remains compelling without feeling repetitive or vague.
For Executives:
The script has solid value with its atmospheric supernatural thriller elements and relatable teen ensemble, potentially attracting fans of shows like Stranger Things, but risks include a lack of defined protagonist and unclear rules that could hinder series longevity and audience retention. Market perception might view it as a promising but underdeveloped concept, with competition in the YA genre making it hard to stand out without sharper focus; revisions are essential to mitigate these issues and boost commercial viability.
Story Facts
Genres:
Horror 35% Drama 50% Thriller 30% Comedy 15%

Setting: Contemporary, A suburban town, primarily in a house, a high school, and a nearby strip mall

Themes: The Unseen Supernatural Intrusion, Coping Mechanisms and Denial, Familial Disconnection and Underlying Tension, Adolescent Camaraderie and Social Dynamics, Societal Indifference and Unseen Threats, The Mundanity of Disruption and Foreshadowing

Conflict & Stakes: The characters face supernatural disturbances that threaten their safety and sanity, while personal tensions and emotional struggles add depth to their interactions.

Mood: A mix of light-heartedness and underlying tension, with moments of suspense and emotional depth.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The integration of supernatural occurrences into the everyday lives of teenagers, creating a relatable yet eerie atmosphere.
  • Plot Twist: The revelation of Hendrix's unexplained injury and its connection to the supernatural events, adding layers to the narrative.
  • Distinctive Setting: The contrast between the familiar suburban environment and the dark, mysterious forest that serves as a backdrop for the supernatural elements.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of humor to diffuse tension in a horror context, making the story accessible to a wider audience.

Comparable Scripts: Stranger Things, The Goonies, It Follows, Super 8, The Haunting of Hill House, Eerie Indiana, The Upside Down, Ghostbusters, The Breakfast Club

🎯 Your Top Priorities

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

You have more than one meaningful lever.

Improving Theme (Script Level) and Emotional Impact (Script Level) will have the biggest impact on your overall score next draft.

1. Theme (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Theme (Script Level) score: 7.2
Expected gain: ~5% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.7 in Theme (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,836 similar revisions)
  • This is your top opportunity right now. Focusing your rewrite energy here gives you the best realistic shot at raising the overall rating.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Theme (Script Level) by about +0.7 in one rewrite.
2. Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Emotional Impact (Script Level) score: 7.2
Expected gain: ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.7 in Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~2,672 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Emotional Impact (Script Level) by about +0.7 in one rewrite.
3. Visual Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Visual Impact (Script Level) score: 7.4
Expected gain: ~4% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.4 in Visual Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~4,559 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Visual Impact (Script Level) by about +0.4 in one rewrite.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.43
Key Suggestions:
To enhance the script's creative depth, focus on deepening underdeveloped characters like Max by exploring his backstory and emotional responses to the supernatural events, which will make him more relatable and integral. Additionally, refine pacing by tightening drawn-out scenes and clarifying the rules of supernatural elements to build tension more effectively, ensuring a stronger emotional connection and narrative flow.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script shines in its authentic character interactions and atmospheric buildup, but to strengthen it creatively, focus on weaving supernatural elements more organically into the characters' personal lives by clearly defining stakes early on. Enhancing pacing through gradual foreshadowing and tighter scene transitions will create a smoother narrative flow, boosting emotional engagement and making the story more compelling from a craft perspective.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analyses highlight that while protagonists like Hendrix and Vera have strong foundational traits, many characters suffer from underdeveloped arcs and emotional depth, remaining in stasis throughout the pilot. To enhance the script's craft, focus on weaving in backstories, vulnerability moments, and transformation triggers that align with the themes of fear and friendship, ensuring each character evolves dynamically to create a more engaging narrative and avoid static portrayals that could weaken audience investment.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script's emotional core is solid in building atmosphere but lacks depth and variety, leading to repetitive unease and underdeveloped character arcs. To improve, focus on introducing contrasting emotions like joy or anger, diversifying responses to key events, and weaving personal backstories more organically into the narrative. This will create more dynamic, empathetic characters and a more engaging story that avoids emotional fatigue and enhances the overall impact of the supernatural elements.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
From a creative perspective, the script's strength lies in its exploration of control versus chaos, but to enhance engagement, focus on deepening the protagonist's internal conflicts and ensuring that supernatural events more directly mirror their emotional states. This will amplify character development and thematic resonance, making the high-resolution payoffs feel more earned and impactful in the narrative arc.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The theme analysis reveals a strong supernatural intrusion as the core element, but to elevate the script's craft, focus on integrating supporting themes like familial disconnection and adolescent camaraderie more seamlessly with the supernatural events. This could involve deepening character backstories to make their vulnerabilities more explicit, enhancing emotional stakes, and varying the pacing of anomalies to build suspense without relying on repetition. Additionally, refining the characters' coping mechanisms to show gradual progression from denial to confrontation would add realism and depth, making the narrative more engaging and less predictable.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's inconsistencies, such as unresolved plot holes and redundant descriptions, undermine its narrative tension and character authenticity. By addressing high-priority issues like the illogical reappearance of Mr. Thomas's body and streamlining repetitive phenomena, the writer can create a more cohesive and engaging story, ensuring supernatural elements have clear rules and character behaviors remain true to their arcs for a stronger overall craft.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
Your script's strength lies in its naturalistic dialogue and subtle atmospheric tension, which effectively builds unease; to improve, focus on deepening character arcs and motivations to make the supernatural elements more emotionally resonant, ensuring that the understated style doesn't leave audiences wanting more explicit connections between events and character development.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
To refine your screenplay, focus on enhancing dialogue with subtle subtext to reveal character depths, improving pacing to build suspense and maintain engagement, and developing character arcs for richer emotional layers. By addressing these, you'll strengthen the blend of realistic interactions and supernatural tension, making your narrative more immersive and impactful.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script's world building masterfully uses familiar suburban and urban settings to contrast with supernatural elements, creating tension and mystery. To improve creatively, focus on integrating character backstories more deeply with these elements—such as exploring how personal traumas (e.g., Summer's aunt's anniversary) amplify the anomalies—to enhance emotional stakes and make the horror more psychologically resonant, while ensuring technological glitches feel organic to avoid disrupting the narrative flow.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis reveals that while your script excels in building emotional depth and intrigue through tense and mysterious tones, there's a risk of over-reliance on high-intensity elements, which could make the narrative feel unbalanced. To enhance your craft, focus on weaving higher stakes into casual scenes to maintain momentum and explore subtler ways to advance the plot, while capitalizing on your strength in consistent character development to create a more cohesive and engaging story.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

Comparison with Previous Draft

See how your script has evolved from the previous version. This section highlights improvements, regressions, and changes across all major categories, helping you understand what revisions are working and what may need more attention.

Version Comparison Analysis
Summary of Changes
Improvements (5)
  • Premise - premiseClarity: 6.0 → 8.0 +2.0
  • Character Complexity - characterArcs: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
  • Character Complexity - characterConsistency: 8.0 → 9.0 +1.0
  • Premise - premiseDepth: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
  • Emotional Impact: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
Areas to Review (0)

No regressions detected