Witness
Executive Summary
Poster
Overview
Genres: Drama, Thriller, Crime, Romance, Mystery, Action, Family
Setting: 1850s-1980s, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania and Philadelphia
Overview: Set against the backdrop of a secluded Amish community, 'Witness' unfolds a gripping tale of love, justice, and the collision between tradition and modernity. As a murder investigation thrusts a seasoned detective into the heart of this close-knit society, he forms an unexpected connection with a grief-stricken widow. Together, they navigate moral dilemmas, confront the outside world's threats, and challenge the boundaries of their own beliefs.
Themes: The tension between tradition and modernity, The importance of family and community, The power of forgiveness
Conflict and Stakes: John's struggle to clear his name after being falsely accused of a crime, with his family's reputation at stake
Overall Mood: The overall mood of the film is one of suspense and tension.
Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:
- Scene 7: The scene where John Book is discovered hiding in the Lapp farmhouse is suspenseful and tense.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The clash between the Amish and English cultures provides a unique setting and source of conflict.
- Plot Twist: The revelation that John Book is a fugitive police detective adds a layer of suspense and intrigue.
- Cultural Exploration: The film explores the Amish way of life and the challenges of living in a close-knit community.
Comparable Scripts:
- Witness
- The Amish Murder
- Amish Grace
- The Gift
- The Village
- The Kettering Incident
- Signs
- The Leftovers
- Station Eleven
Writing Style:
The screenplay exhibits a blend of distinct writing styles, with a focus on creating tension, suspense, and emotional depth through character-driven narratives. The dialogue is sharp and often thought-provoking, with an emphasis on authenticity and realistic interactions.
Style Similarities:
- David Mamet
- Quentin Tarantino
- M. Night Shyamalan
- Christopher Nolan
- Kelly Reichardt
Pass/Consider/Recommend
Consider
Explanation: The screenplay for 'Witness' is a well-crafted drama that explores the themes of cultural clashes, personal growth, and the complexities of morality. The story follows a Philadelphia police officer, John Book, who is forced to go into hiding with an Amish woman, Rachel, and her young son, Samuel, after witnessing a murder involving corrupt police officers. The screenplay effectively balances action, suspense, and character development, as Book navigates the unfamiliar Amish way of life and is forced to confront his own preconceptions. While the screenplay has several strengths, such as the compelling character arcs and the authentic portrayal of Amish culture, it also has areas that could be improved, such as the pacing in certain sections and the need for more consistent thematic development. Overall, the screenplay is a strong contender that would likely appeal to a wide audience interested in character-driven dramas with elements of thriller and social commentary.
USP: Set against the backdrop of a close-knit Amish community, this captivating screenplay unfolds a tale of love, justice, and the clash between tradition and modernity. Through the journey of Rachel Lapp, a grief-stricken widow, and John Book, a dedicated detective, the narrative explores profound themes of moral dilemmas, personal growth, and the enduring power of human connection. With its rich characterizations, evocative imagery, and authentic portrayal of Amish life, this screenplay offers a refreshing and deeply moving cinematic experience.
Market Analysis
Budget Estimate:$20-30 million
Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 25-54, fans of drama and legal thrillers
Marketability: It has a strong central conflict, well-developed characters, and the potential to appeal to a wide audience.
The unique blend of genres and themes could make it stand out from other films in the marketplace.
Even with the potential for strong acting and a unique setting, the screenplay may not appeal to all audiences equally.
Profit Potential: High, due to strong appeal to a wide adult audience and potential for award nominations
Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice
Summary:The writer's voice in this screenplay is characterized by a blend of evocative descriptions, detailed characterizations, and a focus on emotional depth. The narrative direction is poetic and reflective, creating a somber and introspective tone.
Best representation: Scene 14 - Deadly Ambush in the Underground. Scene 14 is the best representation of the writer's voice because it combines all the key elements that define their unique style. The detailed description of the setting, the nuanced character interactions, and the exploration of moral dilemmas are all present in this scene. It also serves as a turning point in the story, as Rachel begins to question her beliefs and her relationship with John Book.
Memorable Lines:
- Book: I'm a police officer. I'm going to have to talk to the boy. (Scene 5)
- Book: My old friend and mentor, Paul Schaeffer, is dirty, stinking fucking dirty. (Scene 15)
- John Book: You're making a mistake. (Scene 33)
- Rachel: You have no right to keep us here. (Scene 7)
- Rachel: You'd better go. (Scene 24)
Characters
John Book:A fugitive police detective hiding among the Amish community
Rachel Lapp:A young Amish woman who helps John Book hide from the police
Samuel Lapp:Rachel's son, who becomes attached to John Book
Eli Lapp:Rachel's father, who is initially suspicious of John Book
Story Shape
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall Grade | Concept | Plot | Originality Score | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
1 - Amidst Grief: An Amish Funeral | Somber, Reflective, Respectful | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
2 - Condolences at the Lapp Farmhouse | Somber, Reflective, Light-hearted | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 5 | 6 | 4 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
3 - A Journey Through Time | Emotional, Awkward, Tender | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
4 - A Nostalgic Farewell | Sentimental, Reflective, Hopeful | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 6 | 8 | 5 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
5 - Murder in the Men's Restroom | Suspenseful, Tense, Mysterious, Serious | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
6 - Power Struggle at the Crime Scene | Tense, Confrontational, Serious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
7 - Midnight Meeting | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Serious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
8 - Violent Encounter at Happy Valley Bar | Intense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Violent | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
9 - Unexpected Arrival | Tense, Emotional, Confrontational | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
10 - The Morning After | Tense, Emotional, Dramatic, Confrontational | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
11 - Emotional Confrontations and Concerns | Tense, Emotional, Confrontational, Reflective | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
12 - Narcotics Division Request | Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
13 - Confrontation and Comfort | Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
14 - An Explosive Revelation | Tense, Excited, Serious, Suspenseful | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
15 - Deadly Ambush in the Underground | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense, Emotional | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7.5 | 8 | |
16 - Urgent Departure | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | |
17 - Sunrise at Eli's Farm | Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Grim | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | |
18 - Hiding Book | Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
19 - Book's Delirium and Profanities | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
20 - John Book Recovering from Gunshot Wound | Tense, Dramatic, Suspenseful, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
21 - Samuel's Gun Lesson | Tense, Dramatic, Intense, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
22 - Eli and Samuel's Conversation About Guns | Intense, Serious, Emotional | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
23 - Preparations and Phone Access | Tense, Serious, Emotional, Suspenseful | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
24 - Awkward Amish Encounter | Tense, Serious, Suspenseful, Awkward, Urgent | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
25 - An Imbalance of Labor | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
26 - Morning at the Barn | Serious, Tense, Reflective, Humorous | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
27 - Carpentry and Competition | Tense, Suspenseful, Confrontational, Inquisitive | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
28 - Forbidden Dance | Tense, Emotional, Serious, Confrontational, Reflective | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
29 - The Barn Raising | Tense, Intense, Emotional, Serious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
30 - Torture in the Warehouse | Tense, Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | |
31 - Samuel's Unexpected Hug | Tender, Reflective, Emotional | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 6 | 2 | 5 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
32 - Unspoken Longing | Tension, Intimacy, Conflict, Dramatic | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
33 - Confrontation at Groffdale General Store | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
34 - Dangerous Arrival | Intense, Emotional, Tense, Passionate, Suspenseful | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
35 - Eli's Attack | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
36 - Hide-and-Seek in the Barn | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
37 - Fergie's Demise in the Silo | Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Intense | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
38 - Hostage Situation | Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
39 - Clash at the Farm | Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Intense | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
40 - Confrontation at the Barn | Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Intense | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
41 - The Goodbye | Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
42 - Book and Hochleitner's Encounter | Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 5 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 |
Scene 1 - Amidst Grief: An Amish Funeral
An Amish buggy, black and highwheeled, stark against
the landscape, appears, a spirited chestnut in the
traces.
Framed in the glass window of the narrow buggy is the
stern figure of an Amish man in black topcoat and
flatbrimmed hat, his bonneted wife in muted colors, and
the face of a boy, attired like his father, peering
out.
The horse's breath smokes on the frosty air, the buggy
CREAKS on its springs, and there's the rhythmic CLIP-
CLOP OF HOOVES on the pavement,
4 ANOTHER LAh"E 4
Two Amish buggies reach a crossroads, join a procession
of three others. They disappear as the lane wends
through a leafless thicket of hickory.
s VALLEY s
A BIG SHOT,,, now the procession numbers almost a dozen
buggies ••• it is headed toward a distant farmhouse,
6 BARNYARD 6
Where literally dozens of carriages are parked. The
,,... horses have been taken from the traces, removed to the
shelter of the barn,
2.
,...,I
7 :j:NT. BARN 7
The horses are stalled or tethered ••• a long row of
men's black overcoats hanging on wall hooks.
B ?N'l'. SCREENED PORCH 8
Where dozens of pairs of overshoes, men's, women's and
childrens', have been set in ro.ws.
END TITLE SEQUENCE.
9 INT. l.APP FARMHOUSE 9
Partitions have been removed, making the central rooms
of the farmhouse a spacious hall. The place is packed,
a hundred-fifty or more Amish, all sitting in absolute
silence on rows of wooden benches.
A wooden coffin rests on a bench in the f.g., and near
it the close relatives of the deceased occupy a special
place.
RACHE:. LAPP
A roung woman of perhaps twenty-seven. Ber face is
pa.e and drawn. In happier circumstances, although
there haven't been too many of late in Rachel's life,
we would see a robust, sensual woman of full figure,
spirit and intelligence.
Eight-year-old SAMUEL LAPP sits next to his mother; he
would appear stunned, possibly not entirely comprehend-
ing events.
And the patriarch, ELI LAPP; his stubborn, weathered --
yet not unkind -- features grief-stricken.
TU MOURNERS
Their faces •.•
CLOCK
as it begins to CHIME nine a.m.
FAVORING PREACHER
I
,-.. as he removes his hat. As one, the men in the congre-
gation remove their hats also.
(CONTINUED)
. .. . . •• • •. : · . ,l ••
,-...
9
Then the preacher be~ins to speak in a for.rial Gennan
dialect:
(SOBTIT:.Es OV=:R)
BISHOP TSCHA.~TZ
a brother has been called home.
God has spoken through the death of
our neighbor, Jacob Lapp •••
THZ FAMI!.Y
Where Rachel, Samuel and Eli are sitting. SOUNDS of emo-
tion and grief not q~ite suppressed are heard throughout as:
BISHC? TSCHA.~TZ
••• husband of Rachel, father to
Samuel, son of. Eli.
(and)
His chair is empty, his bed is
e.~pty, his voice will be heard no
more. He was needed in our
presence, but God needs such men,
too. That one should be taken so
younq is a 9reat sorrow. Still, we
would not wish him bac~. Rather we
sho~ld pre,are ourselves to follow him.
10 * 10
Ratings
Scene 2 - Condolences at the Lapp Farmhouse
Where the Amish have gathered for the traditional post-
funeral, midday meal.
(CONTINUED)
11 CONTINUED: 11
Long tables are laden with customary Amish fare •••
crocks of soup, hams, fowl, fried potatoes, boiled eggs
and pickled beets, preserves and infinite variety of
pies and pastries.
RACHEL
Where she sits among women, accepting their condolences.
DANIEL HOCHSTETLER
A brawny-armed, ruggedly-handsome, somewhat raffish
looking Amishman. There is something atypical about
his face - a slightly sardonic set of mouth, a bold
eye, a prominent set of jaw. Not exactly what old
Jacob Ammann had in mind, maybe, but a well set-up man
nonetheless, and at ease among men.
He's among a group of men including old STOLTZFUS, the
local healer, FISHER, BEILER and Beiler's stout young
son, TOM.
STOLTZFUS
,... Lapp was a good farmer.
better.
None
BEILER
But not the man to buy a horse for
you.
(and)
Hochstetler, wasn't it your father
sold him that horse with a ruptured
testicle?
TOM
(gr ins)
Told him it was a bee sting made
him limp that way.
HOCHSTETLER
(amused)
That horse had one good ball.
That'& all it takes.
The others chuckle. But Hochstetler'• attention is
still on Rachel.
RACHEL
,... as Hochstetler looms on the horizon, plants himself
like a tree in front of her.
(CONTINUED)
REV. 4/23/64 s.
11 (CONTINUED) 11
At ease as he was with the men, he's a bit awkward at
this.
All the women, very much aware of Hochstetler'&
availability, tune in as Rachel looks up.
HOCHSTETLER
I was sorry to hear about Jacob.
Let us hope he walks close with
God.
RACHEL
I'm sure he does, Daniel.
12 FIELDS, LAPP FARM - DAY 12
It is some time after the funeral and the Lapp family
is hard at work breaking ground for the spring plough-
ing. The death of Jacob has increased the work load on
all three -- Samuel maneuvers a four-mule team while
Rachel and old Eli work nearby, further breaking up the
earth.
Rachel looks up from the back-breaking labor as several
figures approach -- it's Daniel Hochstetler and two of
his brothers. Without a word they fall in beside Eli
and Rachel and take up various tasks associated with
the work in hand. Daniel works close beside Rachel.
Ratings
Scene 3 - A Journey Through Time
A few BRIEF SHOTS of a lone buggy containing the Lapp
family take us from the 18th century into the 20th from
the reassuring RATTLE OF THE CARRIAGE WHEELS on a quiet
backroad, to the ROAR OF TRAFFIC as the buggy waits
patiently for a chance to cross a busy interstate
highway.
12B EXT. HIGHWAY, LANCASTER COUNTY - DAY 12B
A huge tractor trailor rig hovers over the frail
buggy as it trots down the interstate. The camera
cranes up to reveal a procession of vehicles behind
the truck waiting for a chance to overtake it.
0
,...
!
SA.
13 OMITTED 13
14 EXT. PLATFORM, LANCASTER STATION - DAY 14
Daniel Hochstetler moves through the crowd on the
platform, Rachel turns surprised, as he approaches,
a faint color coming to her cheek.
RACHEL
Daniel?
(CONTINUED)
•
-
,-...
Do
14 (CONTINUED) 14
,... I HOCHSTETLER
I ••• I was at the feed store.
And I saw your horse, so .••
There is an embarrassment between them broken by the
arrival of the train.
HOCHSTETLER
(continuing)
You will come back soon?
Samuel can barely contain his excitement as he drags at
his mother's hand.
SAMUEL
Quickly, 1'fother I Quickly I
Rachel e~braces Eli.
ELI
You be careful out among them
English.
She turns to Hochstetler.
RACHEL
I need time, Daniel.
Ratings
Scene 4 - A Nostalgic Farewell
Daniel Hochstetler leaps into the driving seat of his
open wagon and with a flick of the reins and a whoop
sets his horse off at a fast trot.
14B EXT. TRAIN - DAY 148
The ENGINE gives a WARNING BLAST before creeping-slowly
forward.
15 OMITTED 15
16 INT. TRAIN (MOVING) 16
As Samuel spots something out of the window that causes
him to light up.
SAMUEL
Look, Mama ••• I
•
,...'
7,
17 HIS POV THROUGH WINDOW 17
A road runs parallel to the train track, and Hoeh-
atetler in his wagon urges his borae almost to the
gallop as be attempts to keep pace with the train.
18 BACK TO SCENE 18
as Raebel smiles.
RACHEL
I aee, darling.
And Samuel cranes to look back, waving, for a• long as
be can.
18A EXT. LANCASTER COUNTRYSIDE - DAY 18A
The train moves across a broad panorama of fields,
dotted with dolls"-bouae-aized farms and the tiny
figures of Amish farmers working their borae-drawn
equipment.
( 19 SERIES OF CUTS 19
as the train continues its eastward journey ••• Samuel
""' stares raptly out of the window at the changing pat-
terns of the countryside. He point• in wonder at a
brightly. colored bot air balloon as it drift• ■ lowly
over timbered hills ••• be looks unsure aa the pattern
of field and· wood gives way to auburbs, buatling ■bop
ping centers, restaurants, ear lots and fast food
outlets.
20 EXT. PHILADELPHIA SLUMS 20
as the train travels past dilapidated row bouaes,
atreets choked with ears and the gutters with filth.
21 INT. TRAIN (MOVING) 21
Now Samuel is staring out the window with aome eonfu-
aion, almost apprehension:
SAMUEL
Is this where we're going?
RACHEL
I Of course not. We're going to
Balti110re, It'• ■ueb nicer in
Baltimore.
(CONTINUED)
8.
21 CONTINUED: 21
And Rachel draws her son closer, turning her back on
the window.
22 OMITTED 22
Ratings
Scene 5 - Murder in the Men's Restroom
Rachel is in a line at one of the counters. The plain
dress of the two Amish -- particularly Samuel's black
coat and hat - are drawing curious stares.
SAMUEL
He's uncomfortably aware of the shy looks and giggles
of a little girl about his own age, standing in line
with her parents at the next counter.
He edges away from his mother •••
ANGLE
as Samuel comes upon a figure garbed in a long black
,,,,... frock coat and flat-crowned hat ••• the man's back is
turned, could, from appearances, be an Amishman.
Samuel stares ••• A beat, the man turns to face Samuel
and we discover that he is a Hasidic Jew.
SAMUEL
as he reacts.
BACK TO TICKET COUNTER
a• Rachel's turn arrives. The TICKET SELLER glances up
and she shows him her ticket.
RACHEL
We have a ticket to Baltimore.
Where is that· train, please?
TICKET SELLER
Delayed three hours. You'll hear
an announcement when it'• time to
bOard.
,,,,... (CONTINUED)
23 CONTINUED: 23
RACHEL
(suddenly confused)
But •.•
TICKET SELLER
Just have a ■eat.
Samuel stares about him at the unfamiliar world of the
English, Rachel sits on a bench, warns him not to
wonder too far.
23A SAMUEL'S ODYSSEY 23A
A SERIES OF COTS as Samuel examines ■ome of the
products of the twentieth century.
Be ■ tares long and hard as a man punches the buttons on
a pay phone.
Be's wide-eyed and a little frightened by an escalator.
Be looks up at the gargantuan war memorial statue of an
angel holding a dead soldier, which hovers over the
bustle of the station.
Rachel takes-his hand and gently leads him away, the
boy all the while looking back over his shoulder at the
face of the angel,
24 INT, STATION - PHILADELPHIA - NIGHT 24
It's now much later and the terminal has practically
emptied, We can see the dozing figure ■ of Rachel and
Samuel almost alone amid the benches.
RACBEL/SAMOEL
a ■ the boy rouse ■ himself, says something to his
mother. She nods •••
Be starts to go without his hat, but Rachel collars him
and puts it on his head.
25 ANGLE IN MEN'S ROOM 25
as Samuel enters.
It's a long row of sinks, urinals, and stalls ••• Samuel
stops before one of the urinals -- a long, trough-like
affair with water drizzling down the rear porcelain
panel.
(CONTINUED)
10.
25 CONTINUED: 25
,-... It's set a little high for Samuel, and it is·making
GLUGGING-FLUSHING NOISES that are, at least,
intimidating. Samuel stares for a moment, then turns,
looks toward the stalls, stoops to see which are empty.
HIS POV - TOILETS
Beneath the row of doors we can ■ ee no feet visible.
Samuel is alone in the restroom.
BACK TO SCENE
as Sa111uel proceeds ~long the row of door, finally
selects a ■ tall near the end. He enters.
As he does so, a heavily bearded youth in a dirty
sweatshirt enters.
With some urgency, he removes ■mall notebook from his
pocket and places it behind a paper towel dispenser.
Suddenly he glances up.
Two other men have entered the men's roomi one is a
,-... large BLACK MAN in a three-piece suit under an ex-
pensive, overcoat. Bia PARTNER is a Caucasian in
designer jeans, half boots and a short leather jacket.
They advance on the young man with unmistakable menace.
The young man whirls in terror, his two assailants
lunge for him ••• a savage, wordless struggle ensues in
the close confines of the lavatory.
ANGLE IN SAMUEL I S STALL
as the struggling men bounce off the door of his
stall ••• be can ■ ee their feet under the edge of the
door.
BACK TO FIGHT
as the struggle build ■ to a climax ••• ends with the
young man stiffening with a grunt, his face draining of
i:olor.
0
The two attackers step away, the blade in the black
man's hand bloodstained. His partner stares at what
they've accomplished with a stunned expression:
,-... (CONTINUED)
ll.
25 CONTINUED: (2 l 25
PARTNER
Jesus •••
Tbe young man's band comes away from bis belly covered
with blood. He stares at it, staggers toward the
■ inks. Finally his bloodied hand reaches to smear at
his face in the mirror. Then he collapses to the
floor.
The black man motions for his partner to watch the
door, then quickly reaches up and removes the notebook
from behind the dispenser.
ANGLE IN SAMUEL'S STALL
as he edges open the stall door a crack. Over his
shoulder we can see the black man, his BACK TO us,
riflini the bpdu. But beyond bim, in the mirror on the
far wa l, we catch sight of the black man's face.
SAMU.::.
as he stares out the narrow crack. A beat, then he
closes the stall door.
ANGLE IN STALL
Samuel tries to make the latch work, but it's warped
and won't fa~l closed.
BLACK MA.~
as he checks the notebook before placing it in his
pocket. Bis partner is covering the door, an automatic
in his hand.
The black man makes for the exit, then on second
thought, glances at the row of stalls.
HIS POV - STALLS
All quiet, but •••
BACK TO SCENE
The black man whips out a .357 Magnum revolver, and,
starting at the near end, starts pushing open the stall
doors.
(CONTINUED)
12,
2S CONTINUED: (3) 25
ANGLE IN SAM'S STALLS
•• the blaek man approaches, Samuel working desperately
on the lateh,
At the last minute he finally wedges it in.
BLACK MAN
He elbows Samuel's stall,,,the door won't open.
J
ANGLE IN SAM'S STALL
Fighting baek panie, Samuel has retreated as far as he
ean.
BLACK MAN
as he gives the door a kick. It holds. He swears
under his breath.
ANGLE IN SAM'S STALL
In desperation, Samuel does the only thing he can think
of ••• he slips under the partition into the neighboring
stall the black man just cheeked out. But he loses his
hat in the process. His hand snakes back INTO FRAME to
snatch it just as the black man gives the door a fero-
cious kiek that splinters the loek and nearly takes it
off its hinges. He's framed there, the big muzzle of
the ,3S7 looking down our throats.
ANGLE
as his partner ■ naps from the doorway:
PARTNER
Will you eome on, for Christ's
sake!
A beat, then the black man holsters his weapon, turns
to follow the partner out. ··
BACK TO SAMu'EL
as we hear the SOUND OF THE TWO MEN EXITING the
lavatory.
A long beat, then Samuel opens the stall door a craek.
(CONTINUED)
13.
2S CONTINUED: (4 ) 25
BIS POV THROUGH DOOR
Samuel's own face reflected in the blood-smeared mirror
••• then PANNING DOWN to the still figure of the young
un lying in the crimson pool of his own blood on the
floor.
26 OMITTED 26
thru thru
29 29
30 BENCH WAITING ROOM-- LOW ANGLE - NIGHT 30
Samuel sits close to his mother, his face pale, bis
eyes staring. Rachel bolds his hand tightly in hers as
the torsos of various police and officials pass through
foreground, occasionally obscuring the lonely couple.
There is considerable ECHOING NOISE as commands and
requests mingle with the CRACILE OF TWO-wAY RADIOS,
CUT TO:
DOOR - HENS' ROOM
The diffused shape of faces behind the frosted glass of
the mens' room door, which is pushed open to reveal,
JOHN BOOK, who comes striding through to be momentarily
lost in the crowd of police, reporters and others. Be
is about 40,· with a rangy, athletic body. Behind him
comes CARTER, Book's black partner -- about five years
younger than Book.
CUT TO:
BENCH
Little Samuel watching Book, back to crowd of police,
as Book questions an old black CUSTODIAN.
BOOlt
You found the.body?
CUSTODIAN
Uh uh. Not me, daddy, I just
reported it. It was the kid.
BOOlt
,-.. What kid?
(CONTINUED)
........
30 (CONTINUED) 30
CUSTODIAN
How'n hell do I know what kid?
The kid in the funny black
threads.
TIGHT SHOT - SAMUEL
Worry-eyed, still staring ■ traight ahead. Then his
eyes move suddenly to his left.
BOOK'S LEGS - SAMUEL'S POV
coming in at full stride, then stopping.
SAMUEL
He doesn't raise his eyes ••• just looks at the legs.
And, slowly, the legs begin to bend at the knees. We
■ee Book's belt buckle, then his big pistol in its
holster, then his face. He stares at Samuel for a
moment, then •••
ANGLE - BOOK
as his face breaks into a big grin, and •••
BOOK
Hi, Kid.
RACHEL
immediately alarmed, intervening.
RACHEL
What do you want of my son?
THE SCENE
as Book takes out his wallet, displays his shield.
BOOK
I'm a police officer. I'm going
to have to talk to the boy.
What's hi ■ name?
·llACHEL
Samuel, S11111Uel Lapp.
(MORE)
:·
(CONTINtJED1 ~
REV. 4 / 2 3 / 8 4 15.
30 (CONTINUED) 30
,... RACHEL
(then, quickly)
But what happened here is none of
his affair. We're on our way to
Baltimore . • ; My sister is expect-
ing us . • • our train is leaving
soon.
BOOK
There'll be another train.
(turns to Samuell
The man who was killed tonight
was a policeman, Sam. It's
my job to find out who did it.
I want you to tell - everything
you saw when you went in there.
SAMUEL
(stammers)
I saw him.
BOOK
Who'd you see?
Sam looks at his mother.
BOOK (CONT'D)
Who'd you see, Sam? The man on
the floor?
SAMUEL
No. I saw the man who killed
him.
Book stares at him in surprise, speaks over his shoulder
to Carter.
BOOK
Anybody know about this?
CARTER
! didn't even know about it.
BOOK
(back. to Sam)
Okay, Sam. Can you tell me what
he looked like?
A·beat; Sam crosses quickly to Carter, Book's rather
slightly built partner.
,... ( SAMUEL
(groping, touching his
clothes and pointing at
Carter)
He was • • • like him.
(CONTINUEDY
,, -- ....
' .....
30 (CONTINUED) 30
BOOI<
(nods)
Do you mean black? I under-
stand.
SAMUEL
(pointing again at
Carter)
But not Schtumpig.
Book frowns, puzzled:
BOOI<
Not schtumpig. What's that?
Rachel intervenes with Book. She glances at Carter
who is looking rather uncomfortable.
RACHEL
Schtumpig • • • On the farm, a
pig born small like that is a
Schtumpig • • • a runt.
BOOI<
(looking at Carter)
A runt? So he wasn't a runt he was
a big guy.
,,,...,
SAMUEL
(gesturing)
Big guy.
-- ,
REV. 4/23/84 17.
31 OMITTED 31
Ratings
Scene 6 - Power Struggle at the Crime Scene
Captain TERRY DONAHUE, Chief of Homicide, strides
past the crowd of journalists and TV crews, ignoring
requests for interv.iews. He's just arrived on the
sc&ne and is issuing instructions to a uniformed officer.
DONAHUE
Close it all down. I want the •
crime lab vehicle in here now, and
I want to talk to you, Captain.
He indicates Book should follow him, and they move,a '
little away from the crowd. Donahue turn• a cold stare 1
on Book.
DONAHUE
What are two undercover cops
doing here minutes after this
guy zenovitch gets his throat
cut ...
BOOK (cutting in)
I want it, Terry.
DONAHUE (continuing)
... Talking to witnesses and
generally acting as if ;twas their
job!
BOOK
I want it.
DONAHUE
That's not what I asked you.
BOOK
I know.
DONAHUE
What's this about, John?
BOOK
I can't tell you that.
DONAHUE
Well, why for christ's sake
should I turn the case over
to you?
BOOK
I've got a lead on a guy, and
I've got an eye-witness.
DONAHUE
He's not your witness, and
, ~
it's not your job.
(CONTINUED)
REV. 4/23/84 18.
31A CONTINUED * 31A
BOOK
So I'll talk to the Deputy
Commissioner. He's on his way.
DONAHUE
It's still not your job.
(pauses)
Look John, why don't you
come back to Homicide where
you belong?
BOOK
Let's just say it's a career
move.
DONAHUE
Stick with Internal Affairs and
you're not gonna have any friends
left.
BOOK
I'll buy a dog.
With that he turns and walks off, past the Crime Lab
truck, which is backing in, and the crowd of journalists
and others, and out into the main lobby.
Ratings
Scene 7 - Midnight Meeting
Book e:nerges from the terminal,· looks about him,
then crosses to a big Mercury Sedan which is parked
nearby. Two men sit in the front seat. Book cresses
to the driver's side and opens the door.
BOOK
Go get a cup of coffee, Stan.
The driver, a uniformed policeman, glances at the
man beside him who nods in agreement. He gets out
and Book gets in behind the wheel.
33 OMITTED 33
34 INT. SEDAN 34
Book sits next to SCHAEFFER, a surprisingly kindly
looking man of about fifty. Schaeffer is a Deputy
Chief.
(CONTINUED) ~-
· - ., • , .., - I ~ "I
34 INT, SEDAN 34
SCHAEFFER
,-...
I -'
How reliable is this kid?
BOOK
Oh, he's good,
SCHAEFFER
Miah.
BOOK
Yeah.
SCHAEFFER
What have you 9ot?
1001(
Zenovitch was about to deliver• •
list of names tonight -- street ~
chemists ..• the guys processing this •
P2P into apeed. ~
SCHAEFFER
So one of them got to him.
Maybe.
,-... SCHAEFFER .
You know who?
BOOK
Maybe.
SCHAEFFER
You're still convinced there's
• link to the department?
BOOK
If there ian't I've just waated .)t
the laat six months. ...
SCHAEFFER .
That'• the problem. We need •.II
reaults. The pr••• is driving -.II
us crazy over thia P2P thing-
calling us the apeed capitol of the
country'. You know the sort of
thing. It's getting political.
The Commissioner'• getting~
uneasy.
,,
,-...
C
(CONTINUED I
19A •
34 CONTINUED • 34
BOOK
The Amish boy~ him, Paul.
I'll make it, but get Donahue
and the Homicide Department off
my back or they'll blow the whole
thing.
SCHAEFFER
When word gets out that Zenovitch
was a cop, all hell will break
lose. You've got 24 hours. That's
all I can give you. 24 hours on your
own. After that the case and the
witness go back to the Homicide Department.
··-· ... , ~-, ......
35 OMITTED 35
36 INT, BOOK'S CAR (MOVING) PHILADELPHIA - NIGHT 36
Book drives around 13th Street, a ravaged corridor
between neon-lit restaurants, bars, porno shops and
darkened storefronts. Carter sits beside him, Rachel
and her son in the back seat looking out a~ the
assorted array of desperate characters huddled in
doorways or wandering aimlessly about. On the POLICE
RADIO a description of the cop killing is BROADCAST
EVERY FEW MINUTES.
CARTER
I got there late, John.
BOOK
Let's just find Coalmine.
1beat)
Listen, Zenovitch made a mistake.
You didn't let anybody down. It
happens --
CARTER
(grimly)
It won't happen again.
RACHEL
Where are you taking us?
BOOK
We're looking for a suspect.
We've reason to believe he's still
in the area.
RACHEL
You have no right to keep us here.
BOOK
Yes I do. Your son is a material
--
witness to a homicide.
RACHEL
You don't understand, we have
nothing to do with your laws!
BOOK
Doesn't surprise me. I meet a lot
of people like that.
RACHEL
It's not a joke.
I .
,-... (CONTINOED)
36 CONTINUED: 36
Book decides to try contrition:
BOOI<
You're right. It'• not a joke.
Listen, I know a little about the
Amish. I know this has to be an
ordeal for you, and I'm really
sorry you and Samuel got involved.
Samuel shoots a look at Book, then mutters something
to his mother in German. She responds in the-same
language. Book frowns.
BOOI<.
What was that?
RACHEL
He wants to know who you are.
Your name. I told him we don't
need to know anything about you.
Book eyes Samuel:
8001(
Book. John Book.
Ratings
Scene 8 - Violent Encounter at Happy Valley Bar
Book's car stops, and from out of the shadows darts a
wizened little MAN. He looks about before crossing to
the driver's side window.
36B INT. BOOI<'S CAR - NIGHT 36B
Book lowers the window.
BOOI<
Sammy, where's Coalmine?
The little man stares at the weird-looking couple in
the back seat.
(CONTINOEI))
0
l\J:.11r. "'' " " ' o-.
36B CONTINUED: 36B
SAMMY
What you got there, the Salvation
Amy?
Coalmine. ·
SAMMY
Try "Happy Valley".
36C EXT. HAPPY VALLEY BAR, SOUTH STREET - NIGHT 36C
Book's car pulls up outside the bar and he and Carter
get out, and move ~wiftly inside.
36D INT. HAPPY VALLEY - NIGHT 360
Sixty Black faces stare as the police enter. A hush
falls on the group. Book and Carter spot their man at
the bar and move up either side of him.
They've moved carefully to this point • • • no mistakes.
From the back, the black man they've approached certainly
looks like he could be the man who did the killing of
Zenovitch. And, as Book and Carter make their move • • •
36E EXT. HAPPY VA~LEY -- NIGHT 36E
As Book and Carter explode through the door of the bar,
violently propelling Coalmine along with them. Now we
see Coalmine is n2.! the killer.
As Book and Carter escort Coalmine out of the bar. a
police squad car pulls up, its headlights shining into
Book's car.
An alarmed Rachel holds Samuel close as Book forces
Coalmine's face down next to the car window.
BOOK
Put some light on him.
A cop pulls out a flashlight, begins to play the beam
over Coalmine's face.
(CONTINUED)
36E CONTINUED: 36E
,-...' BOOK
(continuing; to Samuel)
Look at him.
Crazy as Rasputin on speed and booze, Coalmine glares
at Samu~l inside the car:
Samuel, white-faced, finally shakes his head in the
negative.
Coalmine trys to twist free of Book'• grip. Book
snaps, and slams Coalmine's skull into the window edge,
finally crushing his face up againat the front win-
dow. His face takes on a grotesque shape against the
glass. Carter restrains hia partner and Book cools
down. Coalmine is led stumbling away by the uniformed
police. This sudden show of violence has horrified and
angered Rachel, and she glares at Book as he gets back
in the car.
RACHEL
John Book, you listen to me! I
will have no further part in this,
nor will my son! As God stands
, between us!
Book sighs, starts the engine and moves off.
Ratings
Scene 9 - Unexpected Arrival
Book pulls up outside a hotel entrance as a uniformed
DOORMA.~ moves to open the rear door.
36G INT. CAR - NIGHT 36G
Rachel and Sam recoil as the Doorman opens the door.
He is puzzled by the sight of the reluctant guests.
DOORMAN
Ma'am?
RACHEL
Nol we do not stay in hotels.
Book and Carter exchange a glance.
,-...
REV. 4/23/84 24.
37 OMITTED 37
,... thru
42
thru
42
43 EXT./INT. FRONT DOOR, SUBURBAN HOOSE - PHILADELPHIA - ,,
NIGHT
An attractive woman in her early thirties in robe and
slippers stares in disbelief as Rachel and Sam file into
the house. This is ELAINE, BoOk's sister. She
stops Book as he tries to follow Rachel inside.
ELAINE
How could you do this to me
tonight?_ I told you I had
company!·
BOOK
Sorry. It's important.
,
I ,
BACK TO RACHEL
as she glances in a doorway.
HER POV - ELAINE'S KITCHEN
It's a sha~bles, with dirty supper dishes piled in the
sink, the table littered with empty beer cans.
BACK TO RACHEL
as she hustles Samuel along.
BOOK/ELAINE
Book frowns:
25.
4:3 CONTINUED: 43
BOOK
Where's Tilllllly and Buck?
ELAINE
Upstairs, asleep. Where'd you
think?
BOOK
You've got a man here and the kids
are upstairs?
ELAINE
That's n?ne of your goddamn
business .1 So keep your goddamn
holier-than-thou mouth shut!
(and)
Anyway, they like Fred.
BOOK
Oh sure, Fred.
Elaine looks like she's going to blow again, then.
decides it's pointless.
ELAINE
Who are these orphans, anyway?
BOOK
They' re Amish.
44 ANGLE IN GUEST ROOM 44
Samuel is asleep in one twin bed in a tiny, cluttered
room. Rachel, in a plain nightgown, is preparing· to
clilllb into the other one.
o.s. we hear a DOOR CLOSE, presumably Book leaving. A
beat, then Elaine opens the door and looks in.
ELAINE
Everything okay?
. RACEEL
Yes, thank you very much.
ELAINE
(a beat)
John said you're Amish.
RACHEL
Yes.
( CON'l'INtJED)
26.
44 CONTIN~D: 44
ELAINE
(blankly)
She nods and goes.
Rachel crosses to Samuel, sits on the bed. Samuel
looks up at her bleakly.
SAMtlEL
I don't want to stay here.
RACHEL
They are English. They don't
understana.
SAMtlEL
But do we have to stay here?
RACHEL
No, we do not. Just for the
night. Sleep now, liebchien.
She puts her hand on his forehead, closes his eyes. She
frowns, and •••
44A EX':'. DRIVE-IN FAST-FOOD JOINT - PHII.Al)ELPBIA - DAWN 44A
Carter exits the cafe carrying burgers, donuts and a
couple of beers. Book wakes from a brief nap as Carter
gets into the car.
448 Book chews into his burger while Carter takes a dough- 44B
nut. Its clear they've worked through the night.-
Ratings
Scene 10 - The Morning After
Blaine's house is situated on the corner of a row of
terraces, which stretch into the distance on bOth aides
of the street.
46 INT. ELAINE'S BOUSE 46
as Samuel comes out of the guest rOOID in his night-··
,hirt, turns up the hall and opens the door to the
bathrOOlll.. f
(CONTINUED)
27-
46 CONTINtJED: 46
ANGLE
But it's not the bathroomi it's Elaine's bedroom. She
and FRED are tangled in the sheets, furiously making
love. Elaine ;asps, Fred manages to grunt.
FRED
Wrong door, kid.
ANOTHER ANGLE
As Samuel quickly shuts the door. A straight-faced
beat1 then, barely.· Suppressing a giggle, he hurries
on •••
47 ANGLE IN LIVING ROOM 47
as Rachel appears in the living room entry. Samuel is
sitting on the floor with two boys of about his own
age, watching television. They're eating cold cereal
out of a box.
,-.. :RACHEL'S.POV - TV SCREEN
Some artless Saturday morning cartoon.
BACK TO RACHEL
as she frowns, watching her son and the other two
staring hypnotically. Ana •••
48 ANGLE IN LIVING ROOM 48
It's later in the morning now, as Elaine, a bit bleari-
ly, appears in the entryway, stares in groggy disbelief.
BEil PCN - ltIDS
Ber oldest boy and Samuel are busily washing the win-
dows while her youngest is pushing a carpet sweeper.. .
The TV is off.
BACY. TO ELAINE
as she stares.
28.
49 ANGLE IN KITCHEN 49
Rachel is standing in the middle of the now immaculate
kitchen finishing a brisk IDOp of the floor. The coffee
is perking. Elaine appears.
ELAINE
(mutters)
Jesus •••
Rachel turns cheerily.
RACHEL
Good morning •
. ELAINE
(helplessly)
You didn't have to •••
RACHEL
I wanted to. You -re kind to
take us in last night.
(and)
Anyway, I needed something to
do. I was so angry with your
brother! Be's so ••• aganisish
ELAINE
Aganishish? Yeah, that sounds
like John.
She takes a seat at the table, still shaking her head.
RACHEL
Just a minute. I'll pour you some
coffee.
ELAINE
You're not carrying a bullwhip •••
how'd you manage to put my kida to
work?
RACHEL
(smiles)
I made it a contest ••• the one who
does best gets his cereal back
fir at. ·
(and)
Children like to help ••• they only
need to be kept after a little
bit.
Rachel means no harm by this, but Elaine's eyes begin
to storm.
(CONTINUED)
29,
49 CONTINUED: 49
ELAINE
Oh, is that ao?
(and)
No offense, lady, but I'm not ao
sure I like the idea of your
coming in here and tu:ning the
place upside down!
Rachel's smile fades at Elaine'• trembling outburst:
RACHEL
Please, I didn't mean .••
Abruptly Elaine rises and snatches the mop from
Rachel's hands, She mops furiously as she continues:
ELAINE
I know exactly what you meant!
Listen, maybe I'm not a world-
class housefrau, but maybe I don't
have time to polish the goddam
china and •keep after• the kids!
(and)
It's none of your business, but I
don't happen to have~ man around
here full time. So I sell coametics
five days a week in a goddamn
drugstore and sometimes I can even
pay the rent on time! So maybe I'm
not Mary Poppins, but maybe I don't
need to have it jammed down my
th-roat like this - I
She finishes the floor, hurls the mop aside with a
CLATTER:
BLAINE
(continuing)
There! Ia that clean enough for
you? 11
Rachel 1• speechless, Blaine is on the point of burst-
ing into tears. At which point Fred appears at the
entry in bis undershirt, taking in the sparkling
kitchen.
FUD
Jesus, Elaine,,, Somebody die and
leave you a br00111?
C Not a politic observation on Fred'• part.
(CONTINUED)
30.
,,....
I
49 CONTINUED: (2) 49
ELAINE
(blurts)
Go to hell, Fred!
And, bursting into tears, she flees the kitchen. Fred
stares after her.
FRED
What's eating her?
Unperturbed, he crosses to the counter and the coffee
pot, letting his eyes take in Rachel's full figure.
Ratings
Scene 11 - Emotional Confrontations and Concerns
as Rachel comes in with Elaine's coffee, closes the
door behind her, Elaine is lying across the bed,
sobbing.
RACHEL
I brought your coffee,
She takes a seat next to the bed.
RACHEL
(continuing)
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that
way.
After a moment, Elaine starts to pull herself together:
ELAINE
It's okay.
(and)
Look, I shouldn't have blown my
top. It's like ••• somehow •••
I've let everything get away from
me. And you sort of -d• me face
it.
She takes the cup, sips the coffee, Raebel smiles et a
private thought.
.ELAINE
(continuing)
What's so funny?
RACHEL
Fred. The way he looked when you
acre&1Ded at him.
(COlffIH'llED)
REV. 4/23/84 31.
50 CONTINUED1 50
BLAINE
(despairing)
Goa, Fred •••
IIACBEI.
At home you'd never bear a WOlllan
scream at a man that way.
ELAINE
No? Why not?
IIACBEI.
You just wouldn't. It'• not the
Amish way.
(thenl
But I think it would have done me •
·aood if I could have screamed at •
your brother last night.
• ELAINE
Listen, I don't know what'• going
on or how you got mixed up with
him, but don't you let that self-
righteous aonofabitch push you
around, okay?
I
Rachel smiles,
RACHEL
Okay,
CtJ'1' TOI
51 INT, BOOK'S CAR (MOVING) - DAY 51
Book glances irritably at Rachels
BOOlt
Now what'• the prOblem?
IIACDL
The problem ia I don't happen to
think my aon should be •pending
all hi• time with a un who
carries a gun under bi• coat and
goes around whacking people.
•• give• her a look:
I
8001t
Whacking?
,....
I
(CONTINUED)
REV • 4 / 2 3 I B 4 32.
Sl CONTINUED: Sl
,...,l RACHEL
(firmly)
Yes. And I also want to leave this
city.
BOOK
Believe me, I'm trying to get this
over with as fast as I can. But
Samuel will probably have to come
back and testify.
RACHEL
We do not go into your courts.
BOOK
People whO' don't go into our courts
when they're told to sometimes go
directly into our jail.
Rachel glares at him and the ride continues on that
chilly note for a beat.
BOOK (CONT'D)
Look, I'rn genuinely sorry. •
RACHEL
(snaps)
No you're not --
(off his look)
You're glad, because now you've
got a witness.
(and)
I heard the other police talking
last night.
(and)
They don't seem to like you very
much.
BOOK
They kid a lot.
RACHEL
(glances at him)
I would not be too sure.
(CONTINUED)
..
0
(
,-..
JlA
51 CONTINUED: 51
Samuel has been glancing at Bobk1 finally he says
something to his mother in German. Book gives her
an inquiring look.
RACHEL (CONT'D)
He says you look very tired. I
thought the same thing.
Book says nothing.
RACHEL (CONT'D)
But not a good tired.
BOOK
What's a 'good' tired. Tired is
tired.
She doesn't bother to explain; Book settles even deeper
into his funk as Samuel glare• at him with hostility.
,-...
.,. -·
..
33,
SlA IN~. IDENTIFICATION ROOM - POLICE B.Q. - DAY SlA
Samuel sits with Book at a desk, Rachel jJst behind.
They are looking at a police line-up of known black
drug-deal.ers. Samuel shakes his head -- another
negative,
Book winks, slyly reaches into a pocket, produces a
yellow gumball. Be surreptitiously shows it to Samuel,
gives him an inquiring look, It's a peace offering.
Samuel grins, nods imperceptibly,
ANOTHER ANGLE
as Book rolls the gumball down the table to Samuel,
But just as Samuel is about to cover it with his hand,
Rachel reaches over and plucks it off the table. She
shakes her head at Samuel.
BOOK
(to Rachel)
Just wanted to see if you were on
your toes.
52 OMITTED 52
52B EXT, CITY PARK - DAY 52B
Book, Sam and Rachel sit on a park bench eating a lunch
of hot dogs heaped with kraut.
Book watches with amusement as Samuel wolfs down bis
lunch, Rachel eyes him a beat, then:
RACHEL
Your sister said you don't have a
family?
BOOK
No,
·RACHEL
She thinks you should get married
and have children of your own.
Instead of trying to be a father
to hers. Except she thinks you're
afraid of the responsibility,
Book gives her a look:
BOOK
Oh? Anything else?
(CONTINUED)
34.
52B CONTINUED: 52B
RACHEL
Oh yes. She thinks you like
policing because you think you're
right about everything. And
you're the only one who can do
anything. And that when you drink
a lot of beer you say things like
none of the other police would
know a crook from a .•• um ••• bag
of elbows.
Book is staring at her. Rachel nods.
RACHEL
(continuing)
I think that's what she said.
Just then Samuel belches with hugh satisfaction,
drawing looks from Book and a couple of passersby.
Rachel smiles proudly.
RACHEL
(continuing)
Good appetite.
CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 12 - Narcotics Division Request
DAY
Rachel sits uneasily in the outer office, one or two
police clerks eying her curiously. A sign on the desk
reads •Narcotics Division.•
Rachel cranes forward trying to peer through a par-
tially open door.
520 INT. DETECTIVES ROOM, NARCOTICS DIVISION, P0I.ICE B.Q. 52D
- DAY
A group of Narcotics Detectives are interrupted in mid-
conversation by the opening of the main office door.
They stare in considerable surprise.
CUT TO: ,,
John Book standin~ in the doorway, holding little
Samuel by the hand.
BOOK
Afternoon, gentlemen. I'd like
you to meet Samuel Lapp. We'd
like a little assistance.
35,
52E .INT. SMALL OFFICE, NARCOTICS DIVISION - llAY 52E
A Narcotics Detective enters the room laden with sev-
eral volumes of mug shots. Be puts them on the desk
beside a similar book which Samuel is intently study-
ing. Sam sits on tne chair cushions in a big swivel
rocker.
The Detective, Sgt. KAMAN, eyes Book a little auspi-
ciously -- internal affairs officers are not greeted
warmly by the working policemen in any department,
KAHAN
There's a Sgt. Carter on the phone
for you.
Book gets up and moves to the door.
KAHAN
(continuing)
And, Captain, don't want to rush
you, but I'm gonna need these
files back in a half hour. We got
a lot of work to do round here.
The two men leave. Samuel looks about before hopping
( off his perch and following the direction taken by
,,,,... Book,
53 OMITTED 53
thru thru
56 56
Ratings
Scene 13 - Confrontation and Comfort
Through glass partitions we can see Book on the tele-
phone in a cubicle of an office,
Samuel has drifted out of the office and is idling amid
the bustle of the 1quadroom.
Be cro11e1 to a glass case which holds a collection of
plaques and framed newspaper accounts which denote
instances of outstanding duty and achievement.
ANGLE THOUGH GLASS CASE
a1 Samuel moves along, only half interested in what his
eyes are taking in, not really old enough to comprehend
anyway.
,-.. Until suddenly he freezes.
(CONTINUED)
36,
57 CONTINUED: 57
SAMUEL'S POV -- NEWSPAPER ACCOUNT
Enlarged, prominently displayed. The headline reads:
Division Chief McElrov Honored For Youth Project.
Accompanying the item is a large sidebar mug-shot of
McElroy - clearly the black 111an who murdered the young
cop in the train station men's room.
BACK TO SAMUEL
Be stares, transfixed.
-
A long beat, then Book, lowering himself to one knee
next to Samuel, ENTERS FRAME.
Be's watching Samuel, knowing from the boy's expression
that they've found their man. Samuel slowly raises bis
hand to point at the photograph, Book gently takes the
boy's small hand in his, concealing the accusation from
watchful eyes. Be smiles gently at the boy.
SB I~T. BOOK'S CAR (MOVING) - PHILADELPHIA - DUSK 58
Rachel is curled tight in her CQrner of the front seat
holding Samuel close. Book glances at her:
RACHEL
Why don't you arrest that man?
Are you protecting him because
he's a policeman?
BOOK
(snaps)
Listen, I'm the cop that polices
the police, I'm not in the
business of protecting crooked
cops.
(eases up)
I'll make an arrest when I know
everybody involved,
Rachel shakes her head.
RACHEL
But why would they murder •••
BOOK
Because they knew I was getting
close.
(CONTINUED)
REV. 4/23/84 37.
58 CONTINUED: 58
Another beat, then:
RACHEL
I'm afraid. I'm afraid for
Samuel. I want to go home.
BOOK
You'll be safe. You don't have to
worry.
Suddenly Rachel explodes:
RACHEL
Oh yes! Of course! Why shouldn't
we feel safe in a city where the
police are so busy killing each
other!
CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 14 - An Explosive Revelation
NIGHT
The front door of Schaeffer's upper-middle class home
,-...I is opened by his wife MARILYN •. She knows Book and is
surprised and delighted to see him. In the background
a teenage daughter KATHY is visible. Schaeffer himself
appears and Book is welcomed inside.
INT. SCHAEFFER'S STUDY - NIGHT
Schaeffer passes Book a drink.
(CONTINUED)
--
►
0
,-...
REV. -1/23/8~ 38.
S9 CONTINUEO S9
,,,.!.. Book is excited, animated ••• this is the case that
will make ·his career.
BOOK
It was McElroy, Paul.
Schaeffer gives him a sharp look.
BOOK (CONT'D)
He's one of them anyway. •
SCHAEFFER *
McElroy? Sergerant in Narotics?
, BOOK •
Positive t.D. from the kid.
SCHAEFFER •
I hope you don't have any
doubts about that.
BOOK •
It fits, Paul • • • Five hundred
gallons of P•two-P confiscated
four years ago • • • Guess who
was in on the collar? McElroy.
(excited, exp'lain-
ing the thing eagerly)
He salted it away somewhere • • • he
knew the stuff was potent, but
the street chemists didn't know
how to process it. Now they do.
(and)
And the stuff is now worth five-
grand a pint • • • Figure it out •••
SCHAEFFER •
Where's McElroy now?
BOOK (smiles) •
Florida, vacation.
SCHAEFFER •
Okay, what are you going to
nee~ to clean it up.
,-...
(CONTINUED)
REV. 6/12/84 39.
.. • I .·
59 CON'l'ImJED .- . '., '••,: ''.59
:SOCK *
Mo:e people • . • people from
curside thP. De:artment .•. :ut some-
one on Mc:Elrc~•:•• watch and- wait.
SCHAEFFER *
Right. Maybe the Bureau, or those
bastards at Treas~ry. I'll take care
of that. I want maximum security on
this. Where's the boy?
. , l BOOK *
~y sisters p a:e.
SCHAEFFER *
We'll have to move him. Who
else knows:>
BOOK *
Just us.
. ..
SCHAEFFE~ *
Let's keep it that way. ~ow,
wta~•s yo~: !i:st ~ove:
ECO:< .
(ex:els a breath)
A hot ~hewer ... ! have~•t changed
clo~hes in twc days.
Ratings
Scene 15 - Deadly Ambush in the Underground
Book's car passes by o~ the way home.
60 !N':'. L"!:DERGRCL"ND GARAGE - PH!LADELPHIA - NIGHT 60
As Book wheels in, parks in the f.g.
INT. CAR
As Book picks up a folder from the seat next to him,
opens it. Revealed is a photo of McFee and a
personnel file.
He frowns, closes the folder, then opens the door and
starts to get out.
As Bo~k crosses through the car-park he hears th4 soft
CLICK OF A CLOSING CAR DOOR &omewhere behind hi.Ill. He
is awa-:e of the ECHO OF ~ICTHER SET OF SHOES on the
cement floor, steps just out of synch with his own.
,... LOW ANGLE
A fig~re some dozen yards behind him1 in the hand of
the figure, carried almost casually, a revolver with a
silencer attached.
(CONTINUED)
60
ANGLE
On Bcoit as he turns, se,•i- McElroy strolling towarc
,,,.... hi11, HcEl-roy is smilin•• • almost friendly. The 111oment
is elongated, dream•lik,•, Book hears Schaeffer'• voice
in some inner recess of his brain•-
$CHAEFFER (V. 0. l
Who else ltnowi,:'
DOOJt (V .o. l
Just us.
And, McElroy is raising his weapon, The mood is broken
as Book yells, swears, }caps to one aide, the DULL THUD
of McElroy'1 PISTOL. Bc>0k rolls, draws his ,38 FIRES
BACJ(, the SOUND OF THE !-IIOT ECHOING around the car-
park.
(CONTINUED)
,,,.._
C
(
Rev. 6/12/S.L
I • ...
40.
50 60
Mc:Elroy SP~:.-s SSO'!'S i:, :Seek' s di:ectien. At t."lis mo-
ment the lift- deer opens to reveal a mid~le-a;ed
couple, ■hccked to reali:e thev've arrived in the mid-
dle of a gun battle, The WCD&n ■cream■, a• look wbo ia
quite near the lift, FUES again, HcSl:i:oy ia ruMin9 ·
back toward bis car. Bock shouts for tbe couple to 90
back i:p, as Mc!l:cy, T~S S ~ G , accelerate• up
t."le exit ra::ip.
The lift diaappea:s with t."le white-faced couple almc ■ t
at tbe ■am• mo::ient as Mc!lroy - leaving look in tbe
suddenly silent car park.,
Be leans heavily en t."le bocd of a car and open■ his
jacket. Be's been hit in the side and bis shirt is
soaked with blood, Painfully he scoops up his file ■
fro= tbe floor, ar.d makes hi• way toward bis own
•ebicle.
c:J'l' '1'0:
6l
' t:
62
61
'
62
63
as he's awakened l::y t."le aING~G bedside T!l.ZPl!ONE. Be
■:laps en a lar.:p, ::iana~•• to fccu ■ on the bedside clcck
and the at:ocious hcu:.
Cll~R
Gcod fuckin; mor:iin9.
64 :mT!Jlci:n aoox ·
Be's an at n.d. pay phone. Rachel and Samuel sit in*
Elaine's car in the a.a.
100K
Liaten carefully, I wrote tbe
Allliah woman'• name and address on
my de ■ k calendar. I want you to
loae it for••• Nov. Tonight.
CAl\'1'Zll i·
(confuaed)
What the hell are you talking
about?_ What's happening?
,-.. (C0lftIHU!:D l
,1.
64 CONTINUED: 64
BOOK
Nothing. I'm not going to be
around for awhile. I'll call you
when I can.
CARTER
(alarmed)
Johnny, what the fuck - 1
BOOK
Just take care of the name for me,
and watch your back. My old
friend and mentor, Paul Schaeffer,
is dirty, stinking fucking dirty.
65 OMITTED 65
Ratings
Scene 16 - Urgent Departure
as the door opens and Elaine switches on the light,
rousing Rachel. Elaine looks haggard.
I ELAINE
! It's John. Be says you have to
' leave now. Be says i~'s ur~ent.
,-,.
She leaves the room as Rachel instantly awake, moves
quickly to rouse Samuel.
66A EXT. BATHROOM DOOR 66A
Elaine is outside the bathroom listening to instruc-
tions from her brother. From inside we hear the SOUND
OF RONNING WATER. Elaine is puzzled but also senses
the urgency.
BOOK CV .o. l
Put my car in the garage and close
the door.
ELAINE
John, I don't understand any of
this - 1
BOOK CV .o.)
(snaps)
You don't know anyth1ng1 I
borrowed your car. Didn't say
why. And you never heard of that
woman and her boy.
(CONTINUED)
Rev. 6 /12 / 8·4 -
., ...
. .
. .. ;
42.
CQNTINt;t;>: Ci6A
EUI!lE
Jol:n, wl:y? •••
BOOK (V .o.)
(■bouts)
Ju1t do itl
,,:a ,o
lock leeks at bimaelf in the mirror, bis !ac:e is pale
and drawn. Be examines the wound, a cleanly drilled
bcla thrcu;b bis right aide, just under the rib cage.
T~• wound continues tc bleed a• be bind• a towel
tightly about bi:I, before putting bis abirt back en.
Ba than carefully wipes away any trac•• cf bleed en the
basin with tissues which be flushes dcwn the toilet.
67
'. ..
,, . .•... -·.,-
I
68 * 68
I"' As Bcwk drives Elai~e•s car out of ~he city.
0
Rev. 6/12/84 43 .
. .. . :..
69 ::r:. PEI~~;;i::.A :&'O:.IC::: ~Q'C'AA~'-S - 3C0!.t' S 69
O!TIC:Z -N:~.
ANCi..E PAS'!' :ao0k's desk ca.:.endar. Carter enters in the
b.9., c:oss~• c;-.ii.ckly :=. the desi.. lie snaps on a
light, thu:=s a page of t.,e calendar, frowns.
Rachel's na::e and address scribbled on a page of the
ca!er.~•=·
Carter rips out the pa~e, crum.:,les it and drops it in
his pocket.
Be starts t0 90 •••
.· ...
A couple cf plainclot.~es~en have paused outside the
doer t= g i •1e hi~ a l00k.
Car:e: =ee:s t.,eir eyes. They ::eve on.
Car:er shakes it 0ff, ;oes. And •••
Ctn '1'0:
I
,-..,
REV. 4/23/84
70 OMITTED 70
Ratings
Scene 17 - Sunrise at Eli's Farm
. As light colors the eastern horizon, Book is crossina
into Lancaster County.
Book &lances at Rachel; she's asleep. He couahs wrack•
ingly, hurting ••• cinches the belt of his overcoat
even tighter. And •••
J
,-...
REV. 4/23/84
•
72 . EXT. LAPP l'AJtM 72
aa Eli emerge• from the barn ••• pau•e• to atare o.s.
BIS POV - BOOK'S q.R
cming up the long drive.
BACK TO SCE.~E
a• the car pull• up in the barnyard and Eli croaaea to
it.
Suddenly the car door fliea open and Samuel ,umpa out,
races aero•• the barnyard to hurl himaelf into tbe old
man'• arms.
ANGLE AT CAR
As Rachel ateps out of the passenger'• aide, Book
remain• aeated. Be lets bl• eyes travel around tbe
farm. -
RACHEL
ltay for awhile. a.at. I'll aake
coffee.
BOOK
•
-
I can't.
ltACIIEL
What about la1111el? Will you COIie
-
back to take bi• to trial?
Book starts the engines
(CONTIRUED)
45.
72 CONTINUED: 72
,-...f BOOK
(grimly)
There isn't going to be a trial.
Rachel stares at him, not sure what be means. Then
backs away, closing the door. Book begins to turn the
car around in the barnyard.
ANGLE
as Eli crosses to Rachel, his arm around Samuel.
ELI
Who was that man?
RACHEL
His name is John Book.
Eli is about to inquire further when Samuel cries:
SAMUEL
Momma
They glance in the direction Samuel is looking.
I
,-... THEIR POV - BOOK'S CAR
The car has failed to take a bend in the road and is
now bouncing across an adjoining ploughed field. It's
knocked over. a tall birdhouse by the roadside. The car
finally comes to rest against a bank of earth.
BACK TO RACHEL
She stares •••
CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 18 - Hiding Book
as Samuel races for all he's worth across the field,
negotiates the creek via a fallen log -- RacMl, now,
also ruMing toward the car.
73A iXT. STABLES - DAY 73A
Eli works fast harnessing bis mules to an open wagon.
Be hops up to the front seat and urges them to trot.
,-...
46-
73B ANGLE AT BOOK'S CAR 73B
,....I We 1ee that Rachel has made Book as comfortable as
poasible in the front aeat of the car and ia packing
the wound under his trenchcoat with material ripped
from her apron. Momentarily he comea awake:
RACHEL
John, my God, why didn't you go to
a hoapital? ·
Book tries to rise but Rachel restrains him:
BOOK
No, no doctor •••
RACHEL
(bewildered)
But why?
BOOK
Gunshot ••• they'll file reports •••
they'll find me.
RACHEL
But --
Book reaches up to grip her arm fiercely:
BOOK
And when they find me, they'll
find your boy!
He slips.under again. Rachel atarea at him, realizing
the price he's paid in returning them to aafety.
She reaches out, touches him gently.
But the moment is broken by •••
ANOTHER ANGLE
aa Eli reina up in the apringwagon. Be cli■ba down,
cro•••• to glance into the car.
ELI
Is the English dead?
RACHEL
No •••
ELI
Looks dead •••
,....( And together they begin to lift Book from the car and
place him in the back of the apringwagon. And •••
74 INT, LAPP FARMHOUSE
Whefe ~li is looking out a window.
7S BIS POV -- BUGGY 75
An Amish buggy coming up the drive, past Book's car.
ANGLE IN BEDROOM
Where Book lies on a bed. Rachel is bathing his wound
with warm water from a pan,
Eli appears in the ~oorway.
ELI
Stoltzfus is coming,
Rachel looks at him, nods,
Eli frowns at Book's holstered pistol lying atop his
neatly folded clothes on a chair near the bed,
ELI
(continuing)
That has no place in this house.
I"" RACHEL
I know.
She picks up the pile of clothes and the pistol and
places them ~n a chest.
RACHEL
(continuing)
It will 90 when he goes.
76 INT, LIVING ROOM 76
as Samuel comes in with old Stoltzfus and Stoltzfus'•
teenaged son, LEVI,
RACHEL
Thank you for coming, Stoltzfus.
Stoltzfus'• eyes have gone to the bed:
STOLTZ!'TJS
0
That's the English is it?
48,
77 INT, SICKROOM --TIGHT 77
as Stoltzfus runs his fingers lightly over the vicinity
of Book's wound:
STOLTZFUS (O,S,)
I feel •• , burning,
WIDER
as Stoltzfus, in his shirtsleeves and concentrating
mightily, moistens his fingertips with saliva, contin-
ues the examination. Finally he steps back.
STOLTZFUS
This man •hould be treated in
town •
• ( indicates)
The bullet entered there ••• and
came out there. But there is the
danger of infection, and be has
lost a great deal of blood,
Rachel looks at Stoltzfus, then turns away, torn by her
dilemna. Ber eyes fall on Samuel. Gently she ushers
f him from the room:
RACHEL
Go help Levi with the car, Samuel,
She closes the door after him, then turns to face Eli
and Stoltzfus:
RACHEL
(continuing)
No, he must stay here.
Stoltzfus gives Eli a puzzled look, And:
EI.I
Didn't you hear Stoltzfus? What
if he dies? Then the sheriff will
come, They'll say we broke their
laws -
RACHEL
We'll pray that he doesn't die!
But if he does, then we'll find a
way so no one knows I
ELI
Rachel, this is a man'• life, we
hold it in our hands.
(CON'l'INUEI))
49,
77 CONTINUED: (2) 77
RACHEL
I know! God help me, I know that,
Eli!
( then)
But I tell you t.hat if he'• found
here, the people who did this to
him will come for Samuel,
Rachel beseeches them helpleasly:
RACHEL
(continuing)
What el•• , can. we do?I
Ratings
Scene 19 - Book's Delirium and Profanities
Levi has hitched Eli'• mule• to the rear of Book'• car
and is towing it up the drive toward the barn, with
Samuel catching a ride on the bumper.
Where she's waiting with the. big barn doors thrown
open. As the mules tow the car in, ahe closes the
doors.
.79 INT. LAPP FARMHOUSE LIVING ROOM 79
As Stoltzfus· and Levi are about to go: Stoltzfus turns
to Rachel:
STOLTZFUS
Make a poultice,· .. three parts
milk, two part• linaeed oil,,, for
the infection. I'll aend Mary by
with acme teas I will brew ■yaelf,
RACHEL
Thank you.
Stoltzfus turns to Eli:.
STOLTZFUS
Lapp, I'll have to apeak with the
diener on thia aatter,
ELI
(nods)
As you aee fit, Stoltzfus,
CU'r TO:
so.
BO INT. SICltROOM - LAPP FARM - NIGHT BO
a• Rachel enters, turns up a kerosene lamp which is
burning low at bedside. She'• carrying the poultice
Stoltzfus ordered.
Book's b:ow ia beaded with sweat.
Rachel seats herself next to the bed, strips away the
sweat-soaked sheet. Ber eyes take in hi• bare torso,
and we should get the fHling that there'• rather more
male animal on display here just now than she'• quite
comfortable with.
She begins to apply the poultice.
ANGLE
As Book rouses to semi-consciousness, in his delirium
he recoils with alarm.
RACHEL
I'ts all right ••• You've got to
lie still!
Book stares up at her without recognition, but some of
what she says seems to penetrate. Be quiets.
RACHEL
(continuing: soothingly)
Yes, much better •••
ANGLE
as Book lapses back into sleep. Rachel hasn't removed
her hand from his chest. Abruptly she does so.
She finds herself wondering about this un lying before
her, ao suddenly a part of her life. She notices de-
tails: bruises, scars, the knuckles are hard, 9razed, a
tattoo on one shoulder. While lost in this reverie,
the delirious Philadelphia policeman be9ina to ■utter.
Incoherently at firat,then the words take shape - -
swear worda1 curses: fuck this and that: ahit1 etc.
Rachel rises abruptly, her cheeks coloring, aa the bar-
rage of language pours like vomit from his aouth. She
beats a hasty retreat cloain9 the door swiftly behina
ber. ;.
I
Bl C OMITTED Bl
'
,-...
51,
82 INT, SCHAEFFER'S OFFICE - DAY 82
Be'• on the phone:
SCHAEFFER
Looks like we're going to need
1O111e help from you folks down
there,
83 INT, LANCASTER COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE - DAY 83
Where an UNDERSHERIFF is on the phone:
ONDERSBDIFF
••• want 'to help any way we can,
Chief, but you got to under1tand
we've got upwards of ■ even
thou1and Allli1h over here, And
that's ju1t Lancaster County,
Over in Kai1er
84 INTERCUT SCHAEFFER 84
who is trying to control his impatience:
I ,,,...
SCHAEFFER
I've got the woman's name, Sheriff,
Lapp. Rachel Lapp. That ■ hould
simplify your work,
The Undersheriff frowns. He doe1n' t like being talked
down to. ·
UNDERSHERIFF
Bow about an address?
SCHAEFFER
Ah ••• no.
ONDERSHERIFF
(frown ■ )
Maybe a road or route number?
SCHAEFFER
Sorry.
The Onder1heriff is not impre11ed,
tnlDERSHERIFF
Problem is, Chief, 'bOut every
third Ami1hman around here is
,,,...
{
named Lapp. That or Yoder. Or
Hochstetler.
(CONTINUED)
52.
84 CONTINUED: 84
SCHAEFFER
(rising frustration)
That's very interesting, Sheriff,
but this matter is very important.
It involves the murder of a police
officer. Now the,e must be a
directory of these people
somewhere.
tJNDERSHERIFF
Sure. Tax rolls. Voter
registration. But I'll tell you
right now I don't have the manpower
to ■end• deputy out to every Lapp
farm in Lancaster County to see if
they've got your Rachel.
SCHAEFFER
(icy)
Maybe, Sheriff, you could do ■ome
telephoning.
tJNDERSHERIFF
(amused)
I could, sure. But since the
,... Amish don't have any telephones, I
wouldn't know who to call.
Stony silence on Schaeffer's end. The Undersheriff is
starting to enjoy himself.
tJNDERSHERIFF
Now I might get ■omething on loca~
radio and tee-vee for you. Like
you know -- alert the public.
( then)
Of course, the Amish don't bave
radios and tee-vees either.
SCHAEFFER
(angrily)
Are you telling ae there's no vat
we can locate this woman? Sherif,
we're talking about Twentieth
Century law enforecmentl
OlmERSHERIFF ..
Now there's vour problem, Chief.
Your Alllishman doesn't live in the
Twentieth Century. Doesn't think
Twentieth Century either.
,.._l (MORE)
(CONTINOElJ)
53.
84 CONTINUED: (2) 84
ONDERSHERIFF (CONT'D)
(and)
Chief, if the Amish have taken
your man in, I wouldn't want to
hang from a rope until you find
him.
ANGI.E
Schaeffer is tight-lipped with contained fury:
SCHAEFFER
Thank you', Sheriff. It's been an
education.
He hangs up. A beati the man is a study in
frustration. Then he glances up.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Standing in his doorway are the two plainclothesmen who
spotted Carter in Book's office in the earlier scene.
And •• _.
CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 20 - John Book Recovering from Gunshot Wound
A bright, sunny afternoon.
SAMUEL
Where he's leading a team of horaes to the barn. In
the b.g. three buggies are parked in the barnyard,
traces empty. Vi1itor1.
86 ANGLE IN SICK:ROOM 86
Where Book lie• in the bed. Bia fever seems to have
subsided. Be'• coming awake, triea to focua on the
room.
BOOK'S POV - CLEl\GY
0
PANNING the four men in Amiah black who are standing
around the bed looking down at look, ■uttering among
- themselves in German.
(CONTINUED)
54.
86 CONTINUED: 86
These include TSCRANTZ, the district bishop, a hawk-
nosed, stern-eyed old fellow: Stoltzfus, a deacon as
well as a healer: and two·preachers, ERB and
HERSHBERGER. Eli stands somewhat apart.
ANGLE
Another moment of silence, then Book opens his eyes.
Tschantz rumbles in German. (SUBTITLES OVER)
TSCBANTZ
Well, Stoltzfus, another Lazarus
to your credit.
STOLTZFUS
Be was touched by God's hand.
Tschantz grunts, motions, for the other clergy aside
with him.
Rachel enters briskly wit~ a steaming pot of tea and a
cup, smiles.
,... I
Hello.
RACHEL
Book stares at he:, then at the old bearded gentlemen.
BOOK
(closing his eyes)
Who are they?
RACHEL
The leadership of our district •••
the diener. Bishop Tschantz is
the one with no hair on top. They
decided to come and see you for
themselves, Except Stoltzfus, of
course. Be caae the first day. I
think he saved your life.
BOOK
Can I have something to drink?
Rachel brings him tea.
BOOK
(continuing)
,... Does anybody know I'm here?
(CONTINUED)
55.
86 CONTINUED: (2) 86
RACHEL
Only the elders.
BOOK
Bow long?
RACHEL
What?
BOOK
Bow long have I been here?
RACHEL
Two days •.
BOOK
(a beat)
Listen, thank you. Thanks for
everything. But I've got to 90.
RACHEL
(frowns)
But you can't.
He tries to rise, falls back faint. Rachel rearranges
,,...
I the sheet.
RACHE:.
(continuing)
See, Anyway, you don't have any
clothes on. And besides that,
Bishop Tschantz wants to talk to
you when you feel better.
The elders appear to have concluded their confere~ce,
and are filing out. Stoltzfus pauses at bedside.
STOLTZFUS
Rest, Mr. Book. That'• the
ticket. And drink my tea, Lots
of my tea.
Be goes. Book is still fending off the dizziness.
Rachel puts the teacup to his lips.
BOOK
Tell him his tea stinks.
RACHEL
(smiles)
You tell him. When you're able.
,-.., ..,, Be looks like he's about to drop off again, Rachel
rises.
(CONTINUED)
56,
86 CONTINUED: (2) 86
RACHEL
(from the door)
We're all very happy that you're
going to live, John Book, We
didn't quite know what we were
going to do with you if you died,
That penetrates for a moment just before Book slips
into sleep again.
87 INT, LAPP LIVING ROOM 87
as the rather worri,some Hershberger frowns:
HERSHBERGER
••• But a gunshot wound, Very
serious.
TSCIIANTZ
It is not our place to ask how he
came to us. He is afflicted,
That is enough,
. EU
, Stil!, he should be among his own
,-.. people.
Rachel enters on this last.
RACHEL
He 4 ll leave as soon as be'• able,
He already wants to go.
Hershberger gives her a gloomy look, turns to
Stoltzfus:
BERSBBERGER
Bow long will tbat be, Stoltzfus?
STOLTZFUS
(shrugs)
A month, Maybe less, with God's
healing love,
CUT TO:
88 EXT, BOOK'S SISTER'S BOOSE - PBILADELPBIA - DAY 88
: Schaeffer is knocking at the front door,
,-..
S7.
88 CONTINUED: 88
A beat, then Elaine opens it cautiou~ly, peers out,
recognizing her caller:
ELAINE
(half fearfully)
Old you find him?
SCHAEFFER
Not yet.
Suddenly her eyes blaze, ■ he ■ tarts to close the door:
ELAINE
Then go a~ay, you bastard.
Schaeffer quickly but gently - prevents her from
■ hutting it.
SCHAEFFER
Elaine, I've come to apologize for
Lt. McElror• Be overstated the
departments position.
ELAINE
(bitterly)
! Be accused John of taking
I ,,...
kickbacks! And you know --
anybody who knows John -- knows
that's a goddamn lie!
SCHAEFFER
(smoothly)
Of course, Elaine. But as long as
there's any question, better
JohMy ■ hould c0111e back and clear
his name.
ELAINE
(cuts in)
Better you should get off my front
porch before I get my mace-~ I
SCBAEPPD
Elaine, I don't want to have to
take you in for questioning.
You've got his car, you were the
last to ■ae him -
BLAINE
(clipped)
I don't know where be is.
,,...
{
SCHAEFFER
But ••• if you bad to gues■ ?
RE\'. 4 / 23/ 8 4 56.
89 ANOTHER ANGLE - SCHAEFFER'S CAR 89
McElroy watching.
THEIR POV - FRONT OCOR
We see a final exchange between Elaine and Schaeffer.
Elaine fc:ces the door shut. Schaeffer turns, walks
slowly to his car.
Ratings
Scene 21 - Samuel's Gun Lesson
as Schaeffer opens the door, climbs in, sinks wearily
into the seat, beside MeElroy.
McELROY
She say where he is?
SCHAEFFER
I don't think ahe knows.
Schaeffer is staring grimly ahead. *
SCHAEFFER (CONT'Ol
What about Carter?
MCELROY
Tight. Sut I'm working or. him.
SCHAEFFER
Lea:-i on him.
9C OM.:TTEO * 90
91 EXT. LAPP FARM - LANCASTER COUNTY - NIGHT 91
REESTABLISHING, and TIGHTENING to the upstairs sickrOOIII
window where a lamp dimly burns.
59.
92 IN':'. SICKROOM 92
as Samuel comes in with a fresh bedpan. Book is lying
asleep on the bed.
Samuel puts the bedpan down, checks to make sure Book
is indeed asleep, then quietly crosses to the foot of
the bed and opens the clothes chest.
ANGLE
Book's big .38 revolver lies holstered atop his folded
clothes. Fascinated, Samuel picks it up, admiring the
heavy burled pistol grips. enable to resist, he starts
to remove the weapon from the holster, then pauses to
steal a look. o.s .•.
'
BOOK
Bis eyes are open and watching Samuel icily, which
gives the boy something of a jolt.
BOOK
Give me that.
I ,-...
Mutely, Samuel hands Book the pistol from arm's length.
He looks on as Book takes the pistol out of the hol-
ster, shoots the boy another look, then snaps open the
cylinder and shakes out the heavy, copper-jacketed
bullets into his palm. He snaps the cylinder closed
again, then nods to Samuel.
BOOK
(continuing)
Come here.
The boy edges closer.
BOOK
(continuing)
You ever handle a pistol like
this, Samuel?
SAMUEL
(swallows)
No pistol. Ever.
BOOK
Tell you what - I'm going to let
C
you handle this one. But only if
you promise not to say anything to
,-... your momma. I've got a feeling
she wouldn't understand.
(CONTINUED)
60.
92 CONTINUED: 92
SAMUE:.
(grins)
Okay, Mr. Book.
Book smi!es. Then he gives the boy a playful, John
Wayne-tough guy wink as he cocks and uncc~ks the
pistol, demonstrating the action. He finally bands it
over to Samuel, butt first.
BOOK
Call me John,
The boy tries to imitate Book's one-handed expertise,
but his hands are too small. Book smiles.
Samuel finally manages to get the thing cocked, using
two hands, and Book reaches over to guide the muzzle
away so that it's not pointed at him,
BOOK
(continuing)
You don't want to point that at
people you just started calling by
their first name.
,,,,.. Samuel levels the pistol at the door and, just as he
snaps the trigger, Rachel enters, pulls up short in
some dismay to find her son has a gun pointed at• her.
Samuel blanches and Book winces, knowing there's heavy
weather ahead.
RACHEL
(snaps)
Samuel -- I
Samuel quickly hands the pistol back to Book, who ·
holsters it:
RACHEL
(continuing)
Wait for me downstairs.
Samuel quickly exits, and Rachel angrily advances on
look,
RACHEL
(continuing)
John Book, I would appreciate it
if, during the time you are with
us, you would have as little to do
with Samuel as possible,
,,,,..
j
(CONTINUED)
REV. 4/23/84 61.
92 CONTINUED 92
BOOK
Nobody meant any harm. The boy was
curious. I unloaded the gun
RACHEL
It's not the gun. Don't you
understand ••• It's you. What you
stand for.
(and)
That is not for Samuel.
Book looks at her thoughtfully.
Rachel softens a bit:
*
. RACHEL
Please, it has nothing to do with
you personally.
He hands her the holstered gun and the loose bullets.
BOOK
Put it up someplace Samuel can't
get it.
A beat, then Rachel, takes the pistol and starts to
I
go. Book stops her:
BOOK
(continuing)
Friends?
Rachel glances back at him, smiles and nods. And •••
CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 22 - Eli and Samuel's Conversation About Guns
Book's holstered gun and bullets at center table. Eli
sits on one side, a chastened Samuel on the other.
Rachel looks on from the b.g.
Eli knows that this is as important a dialogue as he
will ever have with his grandson: at issue is one of
the central pillars of the Amish way.
(CONTINUED)
,..,'
REV. 4/23/84 62.
93 CONTINUED: 93
ELI
The gun -- that gun of the hand --
is for th~ taking of human life.
Would you kill another man? Eh?
Samuel stares. at it, not meeting his grandfather's
eyes. Eli leans forward, extends his hands
ceremonially.
ELI (CONT'D)
What you take into your hands, you
take into your heart.
A beat, then Samuel musters some defiance.
SAMUEL
I would only kill a bad man.
ELI
Only a bad man. I see. And you
know these bad men on sight? You
are able to look into their hearts
and see this badness?
SAMUEL
I can see what they do.
Now he meets Eli's eyes:
SAMUEL (CONT'D)
I ~ seen it.
Eli expels a deep sigh; then:
ELI
And having seen, you would become
one of them?
(intent ••• gesturing) *
Don't you see ... ? The hand leads ~
the arm leads the shoulder leads ~
the head ••• leads the heart. The -
one goes into the other•into the ►
other into the other ••• And you >
have changed, and gone amongst them •••
He breaks off, bows his head for a moment. Then he
fixes the boy with a stern eye and, driving he heel of
his palm firmly into the tabletop with enormous intensity,
ELI (CONT'D)
"Wherefore come out from among
them and be ye separate, saith
the Lord!"
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
REV. 4/23/84 63.
93 CONTINUED (2) 93
,,,..., ELI (CONT'D)
(indicating pistoli
continuing from
Corinthians 6:17)
"And tc,uch not the unclean thing!"
His intensity tinged with righteous anger, he is
hugely impressive.
93A OMITTED 93.!t
*
Ratings
Scene 23 - Preparations and Phone Access
Samuel harnesses up the family mare, and backs her
into the traces of the buggy.
93C INT. BOOK'S BEDROOM - DAY 93C
*
Book stands at the window in a worn robe. ~Below,
through the window, we can see Samuel and Eli in
the barnyard.
,... A beat, then Book crosses impatiently back to his bed,
sits down, picks up a dog-earred copy of The American •
Dairyman. There's a stack of well-thumbe'Cr"larm
magazines and copies of The Budget (the Amish newspaper)
on the bedside table.
There's a knock. Rachel enters carrying a pile of
clothing. She smiles. *
RACHEL *
Enjoying your reading?
BOOK
Very interesting. I'm learn- *
ing a lot about manure.
(eyes the clothing)
What's that?
RACHEL
Your shirt and jacket are still
stained with blood. I have
them soaking. You can wear these.
~he passes the clothes to Book.
(CONTINUED)
REV. 4/2: /84 64,
93C CONTINUED 93C
BOOK
Your husband's?
RACHEL
Yes. It's good that someone
can have the use of them.
Besides, in your clothes you'd·
stand out to strangers.
She continues, cheerfully.
RACHEL (CON':''D) *
I should tell you these do
not have buttons.
• (shows him)
See? Hooks and eyes.
BOOK *
Something wrong with buttons?
RACHEL *
Buttons are hochmut.
BOOK •
Hochmut?
,..... RACHEL *
Vain . . Proud. Such a per~
son is hochmutsnarr. He is
not plain.
BOOK *
(nodding)
Anything against zippers?
RACHEL *
(almost blushing)
You make fun of me. Like
the tourists. Driving by
all the time. Some even
come into the yard. Very rude.
They seem to think we are
quaint.
BOOK
Quaint? Can't imagine why.
-She smiles.
BOOK (CONT'D)
,.... Where's the nearest telephone?
(CONTINUED)
REV. 4/23/84 64A.
93C CONTINUED (2) 93C
,-...'
RACHEL
Telephone? The Gunthers across
the valley. They're Mennonite.
They have cars and refrigerators
and telephones in the houses even.
•
BOOK
No. I'd want a public phone.
Rachel's face clouds.
RACHEL
Well ... the store at Saltzburg... *
(then briskly)
But you·won't be going to
Saltzburg for a while.
BOOK
I'm going this morning.
RACHEL
But Stoltzfus said ...
BOOK
(cutting in)
,-... I know what he said.
RACHEL
You can go with Eli. He's
taking Samuel to school. But
you'll have to hurry.
Rachel turns to leave when Book calls her back.
(CONT.INUED)
0
,-...
65.
93C CONTINUED: (2) 93C
BOOK
Rachel.
She turns to look at him. It's the first time he's
used her name.
BOOK
(continuing)
Thanks.
She smiles and leaves.
Ratings
Scene 24 - Awkward Amish Encounter
Eli calls impatiently from the buggy. Samuel sits
beside h i.'TI.
ELI
Burry up now, John Book!
93E INT. K:TCHEN - DAY 93E
Rachel washing dishes turns on hearing Book enter. She
laughs out loud at the sight of him in his Amish gear,
and rightly so -- the pants are highwater, the hat low-
rise, the jacket ill-fitting. Book looks self-
conscious, even a little sheepish.
Outside another SHOUT from Eli.
RACHEL
You'd better go.
Book looks embarrassed.
BOOK
My ••• eh ••• gun?
The smile fades from Rachel's face as she reaches up
into a cupboard. She passes the gun in its bolster to
Book. Be fastens it about him. The contradiction of
an •Armed Amishman• inc;eases the awkwardness between
them. Book turns his back to her and checks the
weapon. Be turns back to her smiling in an odd way •
..
BOOK
The.. • bullets?
RACHEL
Oh. Of course.
(CONTINUED)
66.
93E CONTINUED: 93E
She takes them out of a disused coffee jar, passes them
to Book.
BOOK
(attempting a joke)
Not much good without them.
93F INT. BUGGY - COUNTRY ROAD - DAY 93F
Samuel sits between Eli and Book. Both men stare
straight ahead. Eli looks particularly stern. It's
pretti clear he doesn't like this Englishman wearing
the c othes of his .faith.
93G EXT. AMISH ONE-TEACHER-SCHOOL - DAY 93G
With a wave Samuel runs into the schoolyard to join
his friends. A teacher begins ringing a bell.
93:i INT. STORE, GROFFOA!.E - DAY 93B
Book on the telephone waiting for his call to be
answered. He looks about him -- several Amish and
English mingle in the shop. When he's sure no one is
watching, he sneaks a swig on his beer bottle, which is
concealed in a brown paper bag. A voice comes on the
line; it's that of Book's partner.
CARTER
Yeah?
BOOK
lt's me.
A silence.
CARTER
Jesus, where the fuck you been?
BOOK
Never mind. I'm coming in to take
care of business. Bow hot am I?
CARTER
(low, urgent)
Too hot. Don't do it. Don't come
in. They're looking for you.
I BOOK
I'll bet they are.
" (CONTINUED)
67.
,,....( 931! CONTINUED: 931!
CARTER
Listen, Johnny, don't do anything
stupid. You couldn't get within a
mile of Schaeffer right now. So
stay put ••• Stay in touch - I'll
let you know when maybe you can
come in.
A beat as Book considers that.
CARTER
(continuing; edgily)
You hear me?
BOOK
(finally)
I hear you. I'll stay in touch.
Carter expels a sigh of relief.
CAP.TER
That's more like it.
(and)
Where.!!!. you at, anyway?
,,... Book allows himself a small smile, regarding his Amish
imag~ reflected in the window of the store.
BOOK
Where I'm at is maybe 1890.
CARTER
(uncomprehending)
Say again?
BOOK
Make that 1790.
Be bangs up. A beat, then he stares toward the door of
the store.
Ratings
Scene 25 - An Imbalance of Labor
Book works on his car.· The battery baa gone flat and
be'• trying to charge it up by running wire• to a ..
battery 110unted under tbe front seat of tbe Lapp buggy.
Eli stands at tbe barn door staring at him, again t~e
disapproving look.
ELI
If you are well enough to do that
tbing, you can do work for me.
(CONTINUED)
,a.
93-I CONTINUED: 93-I
Book is genuinely apologetic.
BOOK
Sure, I'm sorry. Hope you don't
mind ••• battery ••• trying to get a
charge. How can I help? What can
I do?
ELI
Maybe milking.
BOOK
C•yes Eli)
Milking?
ELI
Cows. You know, cows?
BOOK
I've seen pictures.
ELI
Good, you start tomorrow.
93.J INT, BOOK'S ROOM - LAPP FARM - NIGHT 93.J
Where Book lies asleep. A beat, then Eli comes in
carrying a lamp. He pauses a moment to peer at the
sleeping figure with undisguised anticipation. Then he
gives him 3 jarring thump:
ELI
(br i1kly)
Veck oufl Time for milking.
Book comes groggily awake as Eli exits. He gropes for
hi1 watch.
INSERT WATCHFACE
It reads 4:30 a.m.
BACK TO BOOK
~she stares at it in disbelief.
Ratings
Scene 26 - Morning at the Barn
as the milk herd of half dozen or 10 cows amble• in
with Samuel prodding them along, beaded for the ■ilking
stalls. Book looks on in the lamplight, nonplu11ed.
(CONTINUED)
69.
93K CONTINUED: 93K
SAMUEL
Where he's pitching hay into the cow's feed-troughs.
BOOK, EL!
Where the old man is showing Book how to milk a cow by
hand.
ELI
Good, firm twist and pull, eh?
See?
(a_nd)
Right. Now you try it.
Book gives him a look, takes over the milking stool.
The cow shoots him a rather skeptical look over her
shoulder. Book bends to bis task.
ELI
(continuing)
Didn't you hear me, Book? ~ !
You never had your hands on a teat
before?
BOOK
(gr iml;_1)
Not one this big.
Eli unexpectedly finds this hilarious, cackles, gives
Book a comradely, man-of-the-world thump on the
shoulder that jars him. Then he moves off. Book bends
to his task, and •••
SAMUEL
as he pours a pailful of milk into a large, stainless
steel milk can.
EXT. BARN
as the milk herd is released back into the pasture.
Book crosses into the f.g., stares o.s.
BOOK'S POV - HORIZON
And dawnfire etching the hilltops.
(CONTINUED)
70.
93K CONTINUED: 93K
BACK TO BOOK
Something in him can't help but respond to the beauty.
A beat, then he blo~s on his hands, rubs them brisk~y
together against the morning chill. Rachel calls them
to breakfast from the house. She smiles and waves to
Book.
93L EXT. FIELD NEAR FMMHOOSE - DAY 93L
Book collects the pieces of the birdhouse which his car
knocked down the day-of his attempted departure. Be
pauses as a figure approaches. We recognize Daniel
Hochstetler, Rachel's would-be suitor. Be heads for
Book with an outgoing smile and outstretched hand.
Here'• a likeable man who likes people.
HOCHSTETLER
Good morning. Book, is it? You
are the Yankee they talk .about?
BOOK
I thought I was the English.
HOCHSTETLER
English, Yankee. It's the same.
My name is Daniel. Daniel
Hochstetler.
(sizes up his clothes)
You look plain, Book.
(grinning)
Very plain.
Book is not particularly amused.
HOCHSTETLER
(continuing)
I came to see Raebel Lapp.
BOOK
Try the house.
Hochstetler gives Book a powerful clap on the shoulder.
HOCHSTETLER
(genially)
You bet. You bke care of
0
yourself.
Hochstetler beads for the house. Book stares after him
with some interest.
(CONTINUED)
REV. 4/23/84 71.
93L CONTINUED 93L
ANGLE
As Rachel emerges from the house to greet him. She
also catches sight of Book and she pauses, a shadow
of confusion crossing her -expression for an instant.
And Hochstetler doesn't miss it either.
Then she gives her suitor a genuine smile of welcome.
93M HOG PENS 93M
Book, having gathered up the pieces of the bird house,
is headed toward the outbuildings, passing by hogpens.
He glances toward th~ house:
93N HIS POV -- THE BACK PORCH 93N
Where Rachel and Hochstetler are sitting in a porch
swing, sharing a pitcher of lemonade.
930 BACK TO BOOK 930
Thoughtful . . . He glances at the hog pen as a huge sow
,,,,,.., SQUEALS and angrily noses her young ones away from the
trough so she can feed.
BOOK
Pig.
REV. 4/23/84 71A.
94 OMITTED 94
thru thru
98 98
Ratings
Scene 27 - Carpentry and Competition
Book works on repairing the broken birdhouse when
Rachel enters.
BOOK
Eli said I could use his tools.
He uses a drawknife on a piece of 2x4, with some obvi-
ous expertise.
RACHEL
Eli is a· !ine carpenter. Best in
the district. He and his father
built the big house themselves
forty years ago.
BOOK
Oh?
(and)
What happened to Hochstetler?
RACHEL
,-...
I
We had some lemonade and he left.
BOOK
A real fireball.
Rachel smiles. Book crosses to a workbench and selects
another tool.
RACHEL
You know carpentry?
BOOK
I did some carpentry summers when
I was going to school.
(CONTINUED)
,,,..../
72,
99 CONTINUED: 99
JIACEEL
(smiles)
I never suspected,
(and)
Can you do anything else?
BOOK
(really annoyed)
Anything else? I can whack
people, I'm hell at whacking.
llCEEL
Whacking_i_, not of ■uch use on a
farm.
BOOK
Now hold on. There's a lot of
people who think being a cop is a
legitimate job,
llCHEL
I'm sorry. I'm sure it is.
She turns, starts to go. Then turns back, eyeing his
makeshift garb:
JIACHEL
(continuing)
And tonight I'll let out those
trousers for you.
Stifling a ·smile, she goes. HOLD on Book a beat,
then •••
COT TO:
100 INT, LAPP FAllMBOUSE - DINING ROOM 100
Eli is seated at the head of the table, Book opposite
Samuel and Rachel, The table ia piled high with an
incredible amount of .food, Eli eyes Book cagily, waves
his fork at him:
BI.I
Eat up, Book, What's the utter
with your appetite?
BOOK
Guess I'm not used to ao much.
(CONTINUED)
REV. 4/23/84 73.
100 CONTINUED 100
ELI
(soorts)
Not use, to hard work. That's
what makes an appetite.
Book swallows that one. With difficulty. Rachel
intervenes:
RACHEL
Eli, John is a carpenter.
(conciliatory after-
thought)
As well as being a fine policeman •
. _ ELI
Eh? Well then, maybe he can go to
Zook's barn-raising, eh? See how
~ a carpenter.
Book can't refuse the challenge.
BOOK
Sure.
RACHEL
But . • . You may not be well enough.
BOOK
I'll drink some more of Stoltzfus'
tea.
Ratings
Scene 28 - Forbidden Dance
As Rachel, lamp in hand, walks up to the barn. She
looks in to find Book tinkering with the battery hookup
to the Lapp buggy.
He glances up as he enters:
BOOK *
Hi • • •
As ahe sets her lamp down near the one he'• using.
RACHEL *
(beat)
When will you be going?
(CONTINUED)
REV. 4/23/84 73A.
lOOA CONTINUED lOOA
BOOK
Not long • • • A few days. *
Another beat as Rachel watches him • . • Book, checking
out the battery'power, hits the radio -- and suddenly
from the Twentieth Century comes the sound of one of
its major inventions -- rock and roll.
It fills the barn, but Book turns up the volume a *
click more even and, eyeing Rachel, starts moving with
the beat. It's his culture, coming through loud and
clear, as incongruous as it all might seem with the
tough Philly cop decked out in Amish.
Rachel can't help but laugh • • • Sensing her response,
Book sweeps her up-and they boogie in the lamplight,
Rachel alternately protesting and laughing.
BOOK (CONT'D) *
You like it • • • Don't you?
Rachel, confused, protests:
RACHEL
No . . . You just stop *
But she doesn't really want to. Book grins:
BOOK *
(mock alarm)
Next thing you know you'll be off
drinking beer and racing motor-
cycles.
And it goes on • . . Rachel alternately protesting and
laughing.
ANGLE -- THE BARN DOOR
*
As Eli suddenly appears. He glowers for an instant,
thunderstruck, then BELLOWS:
ELI
Rachel -- *
THE SCENE
As Book and Rachel's dancing comes to a sudden hal,t •
•
.Both turn, look at Eli. Rachel regards him level-
eyes, without discernible alarm. Book, looking a • ¥
bit sheepish, goes over, turns off the radio, as:
,-...I (CONTINUED)
REV. 4/23/84 73B.
100A CONTINUED * 1O0A
ELI (CONT'D)
(in the dialect)
What is this? This Myusick?
Book hesitates, then starts to say something:
BOOK *
It's not her fault, I--
But he gets such a look from Eli that he turns, goes
out.
ELI *
(in the dialect)
How can ~his be? How can you do
such a thing?· Is this plain?
Is this the ordnung?
RACHEL
I have done nothing against *
the ordnung.
ELI
(in the dialect) *
Eh? Nothing? Rachel, you
bring this man to our house.
With his gun of the hand. You
bring fear to this house. Fear
of English with guns coming
after. You bring blood and
whispers of more blood. Now
English music ••• and you are
dancin! to English music! And
you cal this nothing?
RACHEL *
I have cormnitted no sin.
ELI *
(in English)
No sin? Maybe. Not yet.
But, Rachel, it does not look.
(tone softening.:-:-
in the dialect)
Don't you know there has been
talk? Talk about you, not him.
Talk about going to the Bishop.
About having you ••• shunnedl
RACHEL *
That is idle talk.
,... 0
(CONTINUED)
REV. 4/23/84 73C.
100A CONTINUED 100A
ELI •
(in English, pleading)
Do not make light of it, Rachel.
They can do it •.•• quick! Like that I
And then •.• then I can not sit at
table with you. I can not take
a thing fro~ your hand. I •••• I
can not go with you to meeting!
(the old man almost
breaks down as, in
the dialect)
Rachel, good Rachel, you must
not go too far! Dear child!
Rachel is annoyed~~ also touched, no doubt, by the old
man's plea -- but irked by his condescending tone •
RACHEL •
I am not a child.
ELI •
(suddenly stern again)
You are acting like one!
RACHEL •
,... I will be the judge of that.
ELI •
(fierce as a prophet)
No! They will be the judge of
that! And so will 1 ... if you
shame me!
RACHEL •
(blinking a tear now,
but meeting his gaze)
You shame yourself.
And shaken but proud and erect -- she turns and
walks out.
,...
I
74.
101 OMITTED 101
thru thru
104 104
Ratings
Scene 29 - The Barn Raising
Carter sits. Schaeffer prowls. Be's at his most
charming and most sinister as he walks and talks during
this interview.
SCHAEFFER
I just want to talk to him. Talk
some sense into hilll. You know we
go way back. You know the story
- we were a team once, as you two
are now. · l trained him. Be' a a
fine policeman, but ••• I know he's
with the Amish. God, I'd give
anything to see him now •••
(he laughs)
••• can you see John at a prayer
meeting?
Be chuckles at the thought, then he 1110ves close to
Carte!, sits on the edge of the desk. Be alters his
voice to a "sincere" tone.
,,,,....l SCHAEFFER
(continuing)
We're like the Amish, we're a cult
too, a club, with our own rules.
John'• broken those rules, as you
are breaking them now. We have
our own code, Carter.
CARTER
He's going to take you out, Paul.
106 EXT. ZOOK FARM - LANCASTER COUNTY - DAY 106
BIG SHOT ••• it's early morning as the Amish buggies are
arriving at the Zook farm for a barn raising.
In the b.g. we can see big stacks of lumber all around
the construction site where a couple of dozen men have
begun raising the main supports on the already laid
foundation.
Elsewhere, long tables have been set up and women are
spreading them with cloths, setting out big tanks of
hot coffee and cold lemonade for the men.
,...I .)
(CONTINUED)
75.
106 CONTINUED: 106
,,,...,i
LAPP BOGGY
As Eli, Book, Rachel and Samuel step down, Book eyes
the construction site.
ELI
Wait here 'til I find a gang you
can work with,
Be goes. Book glances around as even more buggies
arrive and more workmen and their families climb out.
Eli appears with Hochstetler in tow. Hochstetler'•
broad face breaks into a grin:
HOCHSTETLER
Book! Good to see you!
Be pumps Book's hand with his usual vigor, smiling a
greeting and pleasantry to Rachel. She looks on,
amused.
Bochstetle! gives Rachel a look, and we realize that
his showing up just now to appropriate Book was no
happenstance.
,,,..., And Book realizes it as well.
HOCHSTETLER
(continuing)
Eli says you're a carpenter, Book,
BOOK
It's been a while.
HOCHSTETLER
No matter. Come with me. We can
always use a good carpenter.
With that be throws a huge arm around Book's shoulder
and usher ■ him away. Rachel calla after them:
RACBEL
Good luck.
BOOK/HOCHSTETLER
-ea they move off.
HOCHSTETLER
Your bole is healed, then?
,,,...,
(CONTINUED)
76.
106 ·CONTINUED: (2) 106
BOOK
(gives him a look)
Pretty much.
Hochstetler nods with satisfaction:
HOCHSTETLER
Good. Then you can go home.
DISSOLVE TO:
107 CUTS 107
As the morning progresses:
••• Book and Hochstetler sawing and augering out heavy
timbers on big sawhorses. There's an unmistakable
atmo•fhere of competition between the two men, which
doe1n t go entirely unnoticed by tbe half-dozen or so
other young men on the gang •
••• Or, indeed, by Rachel; in fact, she seems -- with-
out leaning on it too heavily - to be measuring the
two men as the morning progresses, and she occasionally
,,,,..._ passes within proximity of them.
••• Eli and a couple of other elders prowling the Job
with sheafs of hand-drawn sketches under their arms,
supervising the construction. All around them the
st:ucture is rising with rem.arkable rapidity •
••• Rachel, where ahe's helping the women set out the
huge noon meal. Other women are sitting on benches in
the b.g., knitting or doing quiltwork,
••• Samuel, where he's banging away with a hammer, with
a group of boya hia own age. Elsewhere - see little
girls •botching• (a hand-clapping game played to German
rhymes) •
••• The very elderly; sitting on the graas or in
wheelchairs in the sunlight, looking on -- the old men
kibitzing in German,. the vomen gossiping.
Until •••
BIG SHOT
of the barn-raising with the noon sun high overhead •••
.,.....' -· at least a hundred and fifty men are swarming over and
about the barn framework.,.
(CONTIIIOED)
77.
,.._ CONTINUED: 107
' 107
••• some aid the rafters, some hauling lUlllber to the
job, others sawing, hammering, drilling, joining,
planing and what-all ••• so many that the barn •••ma
alJloat to be rearing up before our very eyes. And
there isn't a power tool in sight.
WOMENS' AREA
As Rachel crosses near the benches ••• we can see other
women eyeing her, whispering among themselves, some
tittering. Rachel ignores them.
She joins the stoutly amiable Mrs. Yoder fr0111 the
funeral sequence earlier. The older woman is emptying
a big pan of fried chicken into serving platters.
She smiles, obviously liking Rachel.
MRS. YODER
Everyone has an idea about you and
the English.
RACHEL
A!l of them charitable, I'm sure.
MRS. YODER
Hardly any of them.
ANGLE - TBE ROOFBEAM
Book and Hochstetler astride the roofbeam studs, hold-
ing them together prior to nailing them to the roof-
beam. They are, therefore, crotch to the mast and,
facing one another, way out at the far end of the roof.
Suddenly, as Hochstetler raises hi• hammer, the studs
start to part, threatening to de-ball the both of them.
Hochstetler drops his hammer, 9rab• both aides of the
rocf with incredible brute strength, and, literally,
pulls it back together.
Bock stare• at Hochstetler with nothing short of awe.
Hochstetler, straining and gr inning, looks to Book:··
HOCHSTETLER
Nail it - I
{ BOOK
,-.. Yes, air.
(CONTINUED)
.• #. \ ·.
Revised: 6/12/84
( 10·7 CONTINUE::> · 107
,-...
And he does nail it while Hochstetler, grinning L.,d
holding, looks on.
CISSOLVE TO:
108 :SIG SHOT 108
The barn is done, the worklllen climbing down from the
rafters. !t's late afternoon.
ANGU: ON :SOCK
He hesitates. His tgce is pale and covered with sweat.
The exertion of the day has taken its toll. He's in
dange= of fainting and is some forty feet a!>ove the
ground. But he's determined it won't happen, deter-
mined that he won't fall, nor will he humiliate him-
self by calling for help. Hochstetler guesses the
situation. He moves beside Book, claps an arm around
him·, says nothing, "doesn"' t even look at Book; · Prom·
below, so~eone TELLS the~ to hurry up. Hochstatle=
replies that they're jus~ finishing a tie:
The mcwent passes fo= :Sook, and he's okay. Hochstetler
,-... =em~ves his supporting a=. Book looks him in the eye,
nods his appreciation almost imperceptibly. Hoch-
stet!e= wants no thanks, and Book knows it. Hoch-
stetle= gives him a resounding SLAP on the back, and
starts climbing down. Book follows.
Ratings
Scene 30 - Torture in the Warehouse
A damf evil place, fu!l of shadows. A hand places
a cheap transistor radio on an old table, turns
the volume up loud, the music filling the air.
A bag is opened--inside a number of police night-
sticks. Hands reach in and take them out one by one.
Carter is surrounded by four men, each holding a stick.
We recognize McFee, Fergie, and the plainclothes-men
that spotted Carter In Book's office. Carter wheels
and feints as one or other of his assailants move on him.
The attackers are tense, warily looking for their ■not.
Suddenly McFee lunges for Carter and whacks him on the ..
shin. A pause, then another strikes, Carter doing his best
to p&rry the blows. The music on the radio rises and
swells as the torture continues.
0
(
<UV. ftl.2/84. .. . .... : .. ·. '•
.•:. ...
110 EX":'. ZOOK FAR}! - LANCASTER .COUNT"'! - EVENING 110
The gatherin; has congregated to hear Bishop Ts~hantz
offer up a blessing on the new barn.
CONGREGATION
PA?..-NINY the faces as they listen to the heavy German
words rolling out over the still evening air.
Book stands a little to one side of the Amish. The
prayers he cannot share with them. Rachel is aware of
this, feels something of his a.otion. She looks toward
him, then she too closes her eyes and drifts away from
him, into the soothing prayer.
Ratings
Scene 31 - Samuel's Unexpected Hug
The sound of the Amish prayer drifts through the
dim, dust-filtered light, and drifts over Carter's
broken body lying face down on the warehouse floor.
·oead. . . . . · . · ··•· · ·. " ··' · ... -.. ·' ., ... ··. ..
COT TO:
,.
; 112 EX":'. ~A?? FAR:1 - NIGHT 112
,-... Book sits o~ the porch, looks towar~ the night sky.
There is a SOUND, but it's a moment before he turns
his eyes toward the door.
A.~GU: - THE OOOR
Samuel standing there in his nightshirt.
BACK TO S::E?lE
as Book leans forward in his chair.
BOOK
Bey, Sam •..
SAMu"'EL
••• I want to say a thing.
BOOK
(sitting up)
What's that, SL~?
The boy hesitates, holds for a time, then suddenly
( darts· across to Book, wraps his arms around him,
,,,... hugs him tightly ••• then breaks away, turns and runs
back into the house.
(CONTINtl!!Dl
4/24/84 80.
112 CONTINUED 112
ANGLE - BOOK
,,...._
looking after the boy, genuinely moved. After a
moment, he speaks softly:
BOOK
Same to you, Sam.
Ratings
Scene 32 - Unspoken Longing
He is lying in bed, awake, troubled, the ceiling
pretty well memorized. He gets up and moves to
the window--
,IE
ANGLE - BOOK'S POV
A faint light coming from the kitchen window.
I 113A INT. CORRIDOR/STAIRCASE - NIGHT • 113A
►
Book moves through the gloom down the stairs
I toward the kitchen.
I
' ,... 114 INT. LAPP WASHHOUSE - NIGHT
Where Rachel, dressed only in a plain cotton camiso·1e,
is pouring a pail of steaming water into a tub.
114
She repleces the pail on the stove, turns and slips out
of her camisole. Naked, she folds the garment across
the back of a chair. Then she pauses, containing a
startled intake of breath.
RACHEL'S POV - FRYING PAN
The gleaming bottom of a large copper skillet hanging
over the stove with other cookware, we can see Book'&
image reflected there, framed in the kitchen doorway.
(CONTINUED)
,
•
81,
( 114 CONTINUED: 114
,,,,,...
BACK TO SCENE
Rachel hesitates for a moment - and in that moment ■ he
makes a choice.
Slowly she turns, to face him, withcut shame, meeting
his eyes with pride, She's not offering herself,
He'll have to take her,
BOOK
as he stands in the doorway, willing himself to leave,
unable to make it happen,
'
And suddenly the moment has passed, Rachel lowers her
eyes, picks up the camisole, covers herself with it
without putting it on, looks away.
BOOK
TIGHT~N!NG to hi~, and,,,
CUT TO:
,,,,,...
llS EX":'. LA?? FAR.': - DAWN llS
REESTABLISHING, ••
116 ANGLE - HEN YARD 116
where Rachel is scattering feed to the chickens.
A beat, then Book approaches from behind her, A
moment, as ■ he senses hi ■ presence,
Book watches a• Rachel begin ■ to gather the eggs,
placing them in the fold of her apron.
When he ■ peaks, he ■ peak ■ softly, and she pause ■ in her
work.
Last night.
She goes very still, but keeps her back to him.
BOO!t
(continuing}
If ••• we'd made love, then, I
couldn' t leave.
(CONTINUED}
Rev. 6/i.2/84 · 82; .
. . •... ·~
· .·.83. ··'
I . 11'6 ·
,-... She lowers he= head slightly, but remains turned away
from him. Book continues to stare at her.
OMITTEP * 117
118 EXT, STRASB~RG STORE - DAY _118
It's a Saturdav afternoon in the tourist season, and
they're everywhere -- taking shots of anything Amish.
There's a ROWDY YCUNG ELEMENT amongst them who are
making their presence fast, and generally making a
nuisance of themselves.
Book and Eli get ou. of the buqgy. A huqh tourist
bus billowing smoke pulls ~p nearby.
Eli waits by the buggy but before Book can follow
he's stopped_ by a TOURIST LADY with an instamatic .
. . . camera;;;. She waggles 'the caine:rif at"1iilii';•. •:•· .., · ..... , ..
TOURIST LADY
Cc~lC ~--· at, yo~ know -- ?
(CONTINUED)
,-..
f
,-...
84.
..
· , .· .. . ....... :.. . . .,··: ;"' . .
...
,-.., I 118
BOOK
(smiling)
Lady, if you take my picture, I'll
rip your brassiere off and s~rar.gle
you with it.
The Tourist Lady stares at him in stunned disbelief,
her grin frozen on her face. Then she begins to
scuttle back from whence she came.
Ratings
Scene 33 - Confrontation at Groffdale General Store
Book is standing at a wall pay phone on the veranda.
We TIGHTEN to him, and~ ..
•
BOOK
Lieutenar.t Elton Carter, ?lease.
A beat, then we hear the FILTER.ED VOICE of t.~e
·Philadelphia· Police· Department switchboard: -
VO!CE
Are you a member o: the family?
BOOK
,-.. Wtat? I'm a f=ienC cf his.
VOICE
I'm sorry but Ser9eant Carter
was killed last night in the
•
line of duty.
Book hangs up. His breathing is thrown out by the
shock o! the news and he takes a couple of deep breaths
to regain control. He hesitates, unsure of his next.
move. He makes to move away, then he turns back, finds
more coins and dials a second number.
119A INT. HALLWAY, SCHAEFFER'S HOME - DAY ll9A
Schaeffer's wife answers the phone: she is momentarily
shocked. She calls for her husband, then makes polite
conversation.
MRS. SCHAEFFER ..
How are you, John?
(CONTINUED)
,-..,'
85,
ll9A CON'TINUED: ll9A
,.._ Paul Schaeffer appears, slightly irritated at being
called away from the Saturday afternoon game,
MRS, SCHAEFFER
(covering mouthpiece)
John Book!
SCHAEFFER
I'll take it in the study.
ll9B INT, STUDY/STORE - DAY ll9B
Schaeffer takes.~he phone.
SCHP.UFER
You can hang up, dear,
We hear the CLICK OF 'l'HE O'l'BER PHONE,
BOOK
Hello, Paul.
SCHAEFFER
(laughing)
I like your style John, you always
,.._ had a lot of style, Boy oh boy,
calling me at home, I can't run a
trace on the call, that's what I
call "style,•
He's talking· fast and laughing a lot but the sound of
John Book's voice is like a voice from the grave, and
it's thrawn him into a panic which he'• only just
managing to control. He's afraid for the first time in
many years.
BOOK
Lost the meaning did you, Paul?
SCHAEFFER
What?
. BOOK
Isn't that what.you used to say
about dirty cops? Somewhere along
the way they lost the meaning.
SCHAEFFER
0
Come in, John, Don't make it
difficult. We're close, We know
( where you are, we're about •••
,,..., (CONTINUED l
.. Rev. o/l.2/84
,,,....i
lllB.
1COX
(c:att!n9 in)
Nol Yci: 9ot it wrong. ?'= c0111in9
after you. I'= 9oir.9 to cut you:
throat like you did to zenO'fitch
and whatever ycu did to Carter.
i•m 9~ir.9 to do t.'lat too, l'm
9oing to fucking •••
The line goes dead. lcok registers this.
·.COllt
(continuing)
l'm 9oin9 to •••
*
BCOk bas 9:ipped t.'le phone so ti9htly it takes a NCOnd
to unclench his fist, then it takes aoaethin9 to resist
bis f~st impluse, which is to --•h aomethin9. 'frain•
in9. Get it under control. Dea1·-ra1:ionally ·with the · - '· ••,;.•. ··' ··
situation. Be st:ai9htens his ,acket, wipes the sweat/
tears f:c: his eyes, turns ar.d walks stiffly away from the
Groffdal1 G•ne:al Store.
,,,,...l · 120
120 CM••• :S:::l
•
1.21 •121
122
Eli vonde-rs at leek'• changed mood hat knows that •
it's not for hi~ to ask ahout it. Be stares st:aight
ahead,•••=- oblivioas to the surroundings of th•
street c:awlin9 with tourist and traffic.
122A EX'l'. IWUlCW l~E l'fUE'l', S'!''RASBORG • DAY 122A
'fbe bu99y turns into the aide atrNt. SOiie hundred
yards ahead another bu99y is stopped ln the lliddl• of
\Ile road - several youths 9athered abOllt it. A pickup
truck is also ■ topped, facin9 the buggy.
12D in. r.An IOGCY • DAY 1221
a■ Eli approach•• the scene, slowi.'\g down u4 tinal• · *
ly ■topping. He is puzzled - then it is suddenly
apparent wbat is 9oin9 on. lt happens from tiae to
,(- tiae to the Amish. 'fbrN ~th• bn• ■ topped th• laUflY
and are bavin9 a bit of •fun• with the oonvioleat Aaish
in the lau9;y, indulging in a little aockecy. Tbe bu99y
is that of Danial Hochleitner.
(COlffl~)
(
. Rev... 6 /l2 /.84
'••· .:.... . ..
:. ..,
·- -·ua
.
'·•
.
l':li puts a :11trainin; ha~ en Bock 1 1 a:=.
E!.::
~o nct:iin;. T~ia happ1n1 f=c:n
ti::11 to ti:a.
Sha aanaaa hi::I abcut to get out, grip1 hia arm tightly •
ELI
.
(ccntinuing)
It'a net cur way, Book. We'll
have ncthir.g to do with violancal
.7cbnl
leek 1hak11 fr••• geu cut and 1lcvly valka toward the
122C EX'!'. HCCELEITNER'SBUGGY - ~A7 • 122c
- llochleitnar Am hia fa:sily ait, _illllla1aiv1, igno;i:lg
va:iou1 jeers and taunt• frc:i the !ngliah lada - · " · · ·· · -
various jck•• a:cut them being dirt7 ate. Ona jab1 an
ice c:aa:1 cone into Zcch1tatl1r•a fo:ahaad, which
leaves a cu:ic-Js white circle en hi.I fc:ahaad. A:2etbe:
feels ccut wit~ t.~• hc:11 causing it to aby. A third
,... notices t~e ale~.•, •u=•• app:cach cf .7Chn leek.
Yetml
Bara===•• ar.otha: Penguinl
Beck stop1, his path blccked by·tba third youth. The
ycut.~ flicks cff Beck's hat.
10011:
(quietly)
You're making a miatake.
Hochleitner calla f:cm bia buggy. *
HOCHLEITNER
Zvaryt.~ing 11 alright, .7obn.
.
100K
(to tba youth)
Piek up the bat.
ft• youth momentarily unau:e - acmathing about look' a
tone of 'ICica. Th• ycuth dcaa pic:k up the hat, cRm-
pla• it, atampa en it, and puta it back at a c:ra1y
angle on Jcok'a head. A pauaa, than 100k asplod•••
( (CON'l'llltm) l
,...
rev. 6/12/84
...
., . ··••·122c .......
The kid never kt;ew what bi::I er where it c:a=e frc:m, ii•
hita tl:le read au:face already unccnacicua. A aeccnd
ycutl:I 9rabs !eek f:c:i behind. A miatake, Beck ia
aaabint into bi::I, · a;iatter• cf bleed f.rcm bi• DCN O.y•
Lag in all directicns, Be's bittin9 to bard, toe •
cften. %t'• Scbaef!er be'a bitting. ~ochleitner is *
pulling bi:1 away, Eli la tl:lere tee. A c::owd ia
9atl:lering, but aa a.uddenly aa it began it'• over. leek
ah&kea Hochleitner of! bim, at:aighten• bi• bat, and in
a kind cf da:e, Eli lea~s him back to the bu~qy. *
Tb• ycutha are picking up tbel: IIOllnded, belpln9 tbea
back to their truck, aided by none other tban Boc:b•
atetler, An 0%.l) LCO\L addr••••• Jlacbel.
L0CAL MA.-;
Never •••n antbi.~9 like it in all
rrJ yearal
···· BOCHLEITNER , * ... .:
(cove:in;l
·ae •s fr::i ••• Chio, •• My cousin.
LOC::.:. MA.-;
We' U, the:11 Ohio Amish aure must·
be di:!1:1nt.
(addresses a gath-
erir-9 crowd)
Arcund ber• t.~e Breth:an don't
have anything like that kind of
fi.;ht in them.
POCHLE:IT1'1ER *
Jchn, lost c:ntrol cf bimelf,
Be ••• will be repentant.
LOCAL MAN
That's Eli La~P, isn't it? *
A second man calls frcm the ,ickup.
ncow MAN
lid'•-·· ia brokenl
1,CC.\%, Do.~
We' U take bill up tbe boapital.
Geed-day to ycu, ,..r. Lapp. *
(MOIZ)
Rev. 6/13/S~ 89.
89A~·
-~: ·.::, .·: ....... _: .•. .89~
.... ,, . ...
·-
·, .. ·12°2C . :
•·· .. · .
,... ' ..
LOCAL MA.~ (CONT'D)
(he shcu~s after her)
This ain't geed fer the tourist
trade, you knew! Ye~ tell that
tc your Ohio cousin!
But Rachel is already stee:ing past the scene and
fellowing the by now distant figure of John Book.
123 123
124 OMITTED 124.
Ratings
Scene 34 - Dangerous Arrival
Samuel plays with a wooden toy at the kitchen table.
Rachel move~ .. alo~~y to _tlle •~~ an~ be_gi~s washing
a few dishes. She looks out the winacw. CLOSE on
he: face, a stra~ge expression.
,... 12€ 126
The distant figure cf Book and Eli working on the
birdhouse. Eli walks toward the house.
127 INT. KITCHEN - A LITTLE LATER 127
Rachel lights the lamps. Eli enters.
RACHEL *
Be's leaving, isn't he?
ELI *
Yes. Tomorrow morning. He'll
need his city clothes.
RACHEL *
But why? What's he going back
to? Nothing.
ELI
He's going back to his world.
*
It's where he belongs -- he
( knows that ••• and you know it.
,...
Rev. 6/13/84 9·0.
.
·. •.·... ·.•-:. .... .•. ..
,
A-128- ·'
As Book works o~ the birdhouse.
126 EXT. DRIVEWAY - OCSK 128
In the rapidly facinc light, Rachel walks slowly tow:rd
Book. CLCSE on her face, staring straight ahead toward
Book. ANGLE on Book, CLOSE. He turns and watches
Rachel's approach.
BIG WIDE A,.'lGLE
The light now nearly gone, the NIGHT SOUNDS beginning,
as Rachel reaches Book and they emtlrace •
. • • ,i••
., u, .,.. . •·
l
91.
(
129 Z~T. F!~~D SY RO~D - NIGHT · 129
Book and Rachel in a passionate embrace, sink to the
still warm eart:-, an! make love.
131 EXT. RURAr. LANE/LAP? DRIVE - DAWN
A large green sedan approaches along a lane, turns into
the Lapp driveway and stops on a ridge overlooking the
farmhouse. Three -n get out of the car and aurvey 'the
scene. All is still-and quiet.
The car is backed up out of sight. From the truck McFee
and Fergie take out short-barrelled 12 gauge shotguns.
The two spread out as they begin the long walk down
the driveway ••• figures of Olllinous intent atriding
through the misty dawn.
,,,..,
0
I
•
91A •
• 132
Rachel is alone,- preparing bre.:ikfast when the door is
kicked open and MeFee and Fergie enter. She turns, is
about to scream, when Schaeffer enters.
SCHAEFFER
Not a sound! It's Book we want •••
we won't harm your boy.
(He turns to Fergiel
Cheek out the rest of the house.
(He turns back to Rachell
Where is he?
RACHEL
I ••• wh,t •• ,do you •••
She is shaking so much she can hardly get the words
out. Schaeffer smiles kindly.
SCHAEFFER
It's alright, Come on, sit down. ·
There we are.
He leads her to a chair. Her face is drained of blood,
her eyes starir.g at Schaeffer.
133 • l3~
Eli approaches the kitchen from the direction of the
barn, a pail of milk in each hand.
Ratings
Scene 35 - Eli's Attack
Schaeffer has spotted Eli. He turns to Rachel.
SCHAEFFER
Is he in the barn?
135 EXT. HOUSE - DAWN * 135
Eli stops as MeFee steps out of the front door of
the house. Eli lodks toward the kitchen where he
sees Schaeffer framed in the doorway. He turns to-
ward the barn and shouts.
ELI
Book!
McFee is too late, and the old man has uttered his
cry of warning just before the blow strikes him. Be
staggers, drops the milk, blood streaming from a head
wound.
(Continued)
Rev. 6/12/64 ·92.
...... . .. :··.• .·. •.....: ... :
( .•. i32
•.· .. '
,-..
133
With the =~rst :i;ht cf dawr. on the eastern horizon,
Schaeffer's ear approaches along the lane, pulls into
the Lapp d:ivewa;· and ee:nes to a halt.
In the b.g. we ean make out the farmhouse and
oi.:tbuildings.
HOLD as Sehae:fe:, and MeFee step out of the ea:.
They break out short-barreled twelve-gauge pumps, &ta:t
TOWARD CAMERA, spreading out as they turn up the long
driveway •.. figures of-ominous intent striding through
the 1:1isty dawn.
134 IN~. KITCF.E~ - DAWN 134
Eli works in the kitchen p~eparing a he~~ty Amish ..
breaidast.
135
,.... Rachel, Seek an:: Sa::...ie:. a:e finishing up the 1:10:ning
~i:~i:--.g.
136 136
The kitchen doc: is kicked open and McFee and
Schaeffer, guns down, burst in. Eli stares at them in
a state of complete shock.
SCHAEFFER
Cheek out the rest of the house.
He holsters his weapon, turns to Eli who still stands
in the middle of the room, holding a plate of serapple.
(CONTINt:ED)
,,,...I
93.
Ratings
Scene 36 - Hide-and-Seek in the Barn
Book atte~pts to start Elaine's ear but it refuses
to come to life.· He swears under his breath as
he tries again.
141 EXT. BARN, OCTSIDE UPPER LEVEL - DAY * 141
Fergie moves along the side of the barn.
142 EXT. BARN, LO~ER LEVEL - DAY * 142
Mcree walks around the outside of the lower level,
looking for an entrance. He 1·s treading carefully,
anxious not to get.~ny muck on his very shiny shoes.
INT. BAR::, UPPER LEVEL - DAY * 143
Book again tries to start the car.
...
l ' . EXT. BA~N, C??ER LEVEL - DAY * 144
Fergie he3rs the sound of the staI"ter motor and runs
towarc a doer tc the upper level.
145 * 145
Fergie approaches the car, his gun levelled. He
peers into the car, no sign of Book.
146 !NT. TRA? DOOR, UPPER LEVEL - DAY * 146
At the rear of the car not ten feet from where
Fergie stands, a trapdoor hatch settles back into
place.
147 INT. BARN, LOWER LEVEL - DAY * 147
Book opens a number of cattle pens, quietly prodding
the cows out into the walkway. He looks about him,
desperately trying to work out his next move.
REV. 6/11/84 94.
148 INT. BARN, UPPER LEVEL - OAY * 148
,... Fergie finds a trapdoor and after looking carefully
below, he slowly descends.
149 INT. LOWER LEVEL - DAY * 149
Fergie climbs down, his eyes peering about him in
the gloom. A goat stares at him, then a cow moves
behind him and Fergie swings around, his gun at the
ready. He moves toward the workshop, pushes the door
open--no Book. He then pushes his way past a cow
toward the western end of the barn. He hears an
echoing sound, seemingly from behind him. He walks
back toward a grain silo near ..the eastern end.
150 !X~. DOOR OF GRAIN SILO, LOWER LEVEL BARN * 150
Fergie pauses outside the hatch leading into the
silo. It is a low and narrow opening. The door
is open part-way. Fergie carefully pushes it open.
151 * 151
,,,.. Eook is near th~ toe of a metal ladder concealed in
a long shaft, attached to the outsi~~ of the silo.
His face is covered with sweat and dust as he looks
down below hi:::.
152 BOOK'S P.O.V. * 152
Below hi~, the top of rergie'shead and shoulders.
Should he look up, Book will die like a rat in a
trap. He watches, tense, as Fergie steps inside the
silo.
Ratings
Scene 37 - Fergie's Demise in the Silo
Fergie enters, looks up. He sees a trap door in
a wooden floor, far above him. He turns to leave.
154 INT. SHAFT ~ 154
Book.can also see Fergie over the inner edge of the
shaft. He sweeps a few grains of wheat off a ledge
as he reaches into the silo.
Rev. 6/ll/84 95.
( 155 INT. S!LO * 155
Fergie hesitates as something falls bezide him. He
looks up to see Book's arm stretching out from his
hiding place toward some unseen object inside the top
of the silo. He raises his gun to fire.
156 INT. SHAFT/SILO * 156
Book grabs hold of a lever and presses it down.
157 INT. SILO * 157
Fergie fires at the sar:te momen.t as the trap door
opens on the plat:.:o·r:n above him, and grain rushes into
the silo with a gre3t rearing sound. A golden shower
falls onto Fergie, momentarily blinding him, then
knocking hir:t off his feet. He staggers back up, firing
wildly. The deadly grain continues to fall, filling
the lower silo with a fine dust.
156 * 158
Sc!-.3.effer, sweatir:g, stares toward the barn and the
strar:ge echoing sound of Fergie's "shots.
-
1 :,-o EX:. FIEL~S - DAY * 159
Sa~uel too has heard the blasts and he stops, turns,
and looks back down toward the farm.
160 IN:. BAR~, UPPER LEVEL * 160
McFee running into the barn past Book's car. He
finds the trap door and descends.
161 INT. SILO * 161
Fergie gasps and coughs as he struggles to open the
small door by which he entered, but the falling wheat
has sealed it.
162 INT. LADDER, SILO .• 162
Close on Book, the wheat moving in a shower past his
I' face.
Rev. 6/11/84 96.
163 I~T. SILO
. 163
Fergie is being ~uried alive in the wheat which
is now up to his shoulders. He struggles to
keep his head above the rising tide, but every move
he .makes onl}· causes hi:n to sink deeper.
164 INT. BAR:S, LOKER LEVEL . 164
McFee for=ing his way past alarmed cattle toward
the silo.
165 I:-:T. SILO * 165
Fergie's arm is all that can be
seen, as it waves
about, a few seconds before it too is buried. The
wheat fall slows to a trickle and suddenly all is
silent.
166 EX':". s:::..o * 166
~cFee 3~rives at silo door, he looks up to the
sha:-:. above hir.-.,.
* 167
The shaft is err.pty.
168 IXT./EXT. KITCHE~ - DAY * 168
Schaeffer crosses the kitchen to the door, and steps,
outside. He moves several paces from the kitchen and
shouts for McFee. Rachel watches him then moves from
the table watched bv Eli. She crosses to a kitchen
cupboard, and with a
glance in .Schaeffer's direction
opens the cupboard and takes out Book's revolver. Her
tre~.bling hands take the bullets from their hiding
place. She drops several as she attempts to load it.
Eli stares at her in horror. He moves rapidly to her
side, his face pleading.
ELI
No, Rachel.
Rachel struggles with the gun trying to find a way to
~pen and load it.
R!!v. 6/11/84 97.
Ratings
Scene 38 - Hostage Situation
Schaeffer glances back toward the kitch~n but apart
from aeeing Rachel and Eli near the kitchen cupboard,
realizes nothing of what is happening. He looks
back toward the barn.
170 INT. KITCHEN • 170
Rachel manages to unlock the chamber of the weapon
and begins inserting the bullets. Eli places his
hands gently on her shoulders.
ELI (whispers)
We must -f..i.nd another way.
Rachel looks up at him.
RACHEL
What other way?
She looks doi-·n a~ the aun, then out toward Schaeffer,
or rather his back which offers a tempting target.
171 EXT. K!TCP.E~ * 171
,-.. Schaeffer still looks toward the barn. Again th~
calls for McFee. The lower door to the barn opens
and McFee steps out. High above on the ridge of the
barn roof, Book appears momentarily silouhetted
against the sky line. Schaeffer shouts and McFee
runs back, gets away a blast but Book has gone. McFee
hurries back inside th~ barn.
172 INT. KITCHEN * 172
Rachel looks again to the gun in her hand, before
slowly laying it down on the edge of the kitchen sink.
Eli folds her into his arms, when softly a voice calls.
SAM o/s
Papa.
Eli, still holding Rachel, looks toward the spring
room. There, in the shadows atands Samuel. Rachel
turns, is about to cry out when Eli covers her
mouth. He motions for Samuel to stay where he is.
Schaeffer comes back to the kitchen door and orders
them outside. Trying not to look in Samuel's direction
they move toward the kitchen door. Rachel follows
,-.. Schaeffer outside, Eli hesitates at the door hia attention
caught by the sight of the bell-rope hanging outside thte
kitchen window. He looks back to the spring room.
(CONTINUED)
R.ev. 6/11/84 98.
( CONTINUED *
,... 172 Samuel is there, watching. As Schaeffer calls again 172
to him, Eli points the rope out to Samuel and mimes
pulling it. _Then he steps quickly out to join Rachel
and Schaeffer, who has now drawn his own service pistol.
173 EX'!'. KITCH£?; * 173
Schaeffer walks behind his hostages toward the
barn.
Ratings
Scene 39 - Clash at the Farm
Samuel slowly walks toward the window, and stares at
the swaying bell-rope. Then he sees the gun on the
edge of the sink. He moves toward it.
175 INT. KITCHEN * 175
Close on the gun, as Samuel approaches.
176 INT. BARN UPPER LEVEL * 176
,... Book moving among the rafters. McFee spots him.
Before he can fire Book drops down behind a buggy.
McFee fires into the buggy virtually demolishing
it. He moves forward to see if he hit his man.
He sees yet another open trap door through which
Book has escaped.
177 INT. WOODWORK SHOP, BARN - DAY * 177
Book grabs a hammer from the workshop bench and
hurries out.
178 EXT. SILO DOOR, BARN - DAY * 178
Book bashes at the hinge of the silo door.
179 INT. UPPER BARN - DAY • 179
McFee hears the sound, hurries down the laddor.
,...
Rev. 6/11/84 99.
{ EXT. BAR.'l - DAY
180 * 180
,-...
Schaeffer, Eli and Rac~el approach the upper barn.
181 EXT./INT. SILO DOOR * 181
Book has got the door off its hinges and is frantic-
ally digging in the wheat for Fergies weapon. He
exposes part of the body, then continues digging.
182 INT. LOWER BARN - DAY * 182
Mc~ee moves toward the silo.
183 EXT./:::!,T. SILO - DAY * 183
Book finds Fergie's shotgun, opens it to find it
empty. He searches the pockets of the corpse to
find extra shells which he slams in the breach.
He turns, and begins moving as McFee approaches. It's
mom~ntarily like the old west as the two men approach
each other. They both raise their weapons but Book
is faster and the charge from the shotgun blows
McFee back six-feet before he crashes to the barn
iloor. Book moves toward the body. He looks up
to see Rachel and Eli, Schaeffer behind them, a
gun to Rachel's head.
SCHAEFFER
Put it down, Book.
Easy.
It is at this moment they hear it, the lonely sound
of a tolling bell.
Ratings
Scene 40 - Confrontation at the Barn
. Sam tugs at the bell-rope with all his strength.
185 EXT. BELL-TOWER - DAY * 185
The bell aways rythmically back and forth.
186 INT. BARN, LOWER LEVEL - DAY * 186
I Schaeffer turns to Eli.
,,,... • (CONTINUED)
Rev. 6/11/84 100.
186 CONT-INUEO 186
SCHAEFFER
Go and get the boy.
Be cocks the gun at Rachel's head. Eli hurries
out.
187 EXT. KITCHEN - DAY * 187
Samuel still tugging at the rope as his grandfather
comes up behind him. He sweeps him into his arms
and turns around, his eyes raised toward the hills.
188 EXT. FARM - DAY * 188
Running figures on the skyline, on the driveway and
coming across the fields -- black clad figures,
running, answering the bell, the Amish cry for help.
We can make out the Hochleitners, the Stoltzfus
family and others.
, 189 INT. BARN, LOWER LEVEL - DAY * 189.
,-... Schaeffer leads his ;:risoners toward the barn door.
190 EXT./IN':'. BAR.'s - DAY * 190
As Schaeffer pushes them out onto the driveway, they
stop and stare at the approaching Amish. They number
close to thirty, mostly men but with a sprinkling of
women and children. They move toward Schaeffer and
his hostages.
SCHAEFFER
I'm a police officer. This man
is wanted for murder, stand well back.
Eli and Samuel join the edge of the group.
SCHAEFFER (to Book)
We leave quietly and calmy, and
nothing will happen to them.
Book begins to move ahead of Schaeffer, the gun now
at his head. He looks to the faces of the Amish. Bis
eyes rest on Daniel Bochleitner, powerless as he watches.
Eli makes a move, stands in front of Book, blocking
their path. Daniel and his brother join him. Schaeffer
hesitates his brain racing to work out the best move. Be
waives his gun at them.
(CONTINUED)
Rev; 6/15/84 · ··101.· ··· ..
( 190 190
SCHAEFFER
Move! Or ! 1 ::.1 shoot.
ELI
You can't kill us all.
Other Amish close in, now a tight circle about
them. Book turns on his captor, reaches out for
the gun levelled at his head.
BOO!<
Enough.
He reaches toward the gun and wrenches it from
Schaeffer's hand. · '
Ratings
Scene 41 - The Goodbye
Sam appears at the window, stares out. Rachel's *
VOICE OS calls him away. He takes a last look, then
lea•;es.
1S0B SA.~UtL'S ?CV - FUL~ SHOT - WE SEE: 19011 *
,,.... Two Lancaster County police cars, an unmarked detective's
car and a paramedic wagon parked in the drive. Several
detectives and four uniformed officers confer with Book,
who is still in Amish clothing. Schaeffer sits in the
rear ot the squad car. In the background the paruedics
wheel a gurney holding a body bag to their wagon. (NOTE:
NO A.~ISH are to be seen.)
191 INT. HALLWAY/BOOK'S BEDROOM, LAPP FARM - DAY 191
(Time Lapse)
seen from the hallway the room is apparently empty
until from the end of the room Book steps into
frame. He'• dressed in his city suit. Be stands
alone, looking about the room before hastily leaving,
closing the door behind him.
..
192 EXT. LAPP FARM - LATE AFTER.~OON 192
The door opens and Book steps out, looking awkward
in his city clothes. He looks about him, sees Samuel
down by the pond.
I
. . ...,· ~
·Revised: . 6/ 15/8~ : . : ..
(
193
He sits besi:e sa:::uel. They both stare into t.~e
pond.
SA?~~'-EL
You're not e\·er c0111ing back,
are you?
BOOK
:qc, Sa.'11.
A long silence between thm:i.
SAMUEL
Have you ·got your gun on
now?
BOOK (Laughs)
Yes, I have.
T!:e l:)cy s:::i!es, ar.c t!le1,• el:lbrace.
194
Boo~ o~ens the coor o! his car, turns to stare
bac~ at E!i ar.c Ra:hel. As ne turns to get in,
Eli sh01:ts:
ELI
You be careful out among
them English:
Eli moves inside leaving Book anc Rachel. A long look,
a sharec smile, and then Book gets quickly into his car.
Ratings
Scene 42 - Book and Hochleitner's Encounter
As Book drives, he sees an open buggy coming down the
hill toward the farm. He slows as he passes. It's
Daniel Hcchleitner. A long beat, and as they pass,
Hochleitner gives Book the briefest tip of his hat.
196 INT. BOOK'S CAR 196.
~
Book-turns to look back at his rival, a doubt in
bis eyes. Freeze frame.
0
FADE 00'1':
I
,-..
Ratings
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
---|---|---|---|
rachel lapp | Rachel Lapp's character arc in the screenplay follows her journey from a grieving widow struggling to balance her emotions and community expectations to a strong and resilient woman who finds the courage to break free from the constraints of her Amish beliefs. Throughout the story, Rachel learns to embrace her longing for something beyond her current circumstances and ultimately finds a sense of empowerment and freedom. | The character arc for Rachel Lapp is well-developed and provides a compelling narrative for her growth and transformation. However, there could be more emphasis on her internal struggles and the conflicts she faces within her community. Additionally, exploring her relationship with her son Samuel and the impact of her grief on their bond could add depth to her character arc. | To improve the character arc for Rachel Lapp, consider delving deeper into her internal conflicts and the challenges she faces in reconciling her Amish beliefs with her personal desires. Develop her relationship with her son Samuel to showcase the emotional stakes involved in her journey towards empowerment. Additionally, explore the complexities of her interactions with Daniel to add layers to her character development. |
rachel | Rachel's character arc in the screenplay follows her journey from a grieving yet composed woman to a strong and defiant individual who stands up for her beliefs and values. Throughout the story, Rachel grapples with the clash between tradition and modern challenges, ultimately finding the courage to challenge authority and protect her loved ones. Her arc culminates in a moment of defiance where she takes a stand for justice, showcasing her inner strength and resilience. | Overall, Rachel's character arc is well-developed and engaging, showcasing her growth and transformation throughout the story. However, there could be more emphasis on her internal conflict between tradition and personal desires, adding depth to her character development. Additionally, exploring her relationship with her son and the impact of her decisions on him could further enhance the emotional resonance of her arc. | To improve Rachel's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that delve into her internal struggle between tradition and personal desires. Show how this conflict impacts her relationships with other characters, particularly her son and potential romantic interests. Additionally, explore moments of vulnerability and emotional growth to highlight the complexity of her character. By adding depth to Rachel's internal journey, her arc will resonate more strongly with the audience. |
samuel | Samuel starts off as an innocent and sheltered Amish boy, but after witnessing a violent crime, he is forced to confront the harsh realities of the world outside his community. As he navigates through the ethical dilemmas and struggles to reconcile his beliefs with the violence he encounters, Samuel undergoes emotional growth and moral discovery. He ultimately learns to make difficult decisions and finds a balance between his Amish upbringing and the outside world, emerging as a more mature and understanding individual. | The character arc for Samuel is well-developed, showcasing his growth and internal conflicts effectively. However, to further enhance his arc, it would be beneficial to delve deeper into his emotional journey and the impact of his experiences on his relationships with other characters. Additionally, providing more insight into Samuel's thoughts and feelings through his actions and dialogue can help the audience connect with his character on a deeper level. | To improve the character arc for Samuel, consider incorporating more scenes that highlight his emotional struggles and growth. Show how his relationships with other characters, especially John Book, evolve throughout the story. Develop his internal conflicts further by exploring his thoughts and feelings in moments of decision-making. Additionally, consider adding moments of vulnerability and strength to showcase the complexity of his character and make his journey more compelling for the audience. |
book | John Book starts as a seasoned and no-nonsense police officer, driven by a desire for justice and career advancement. Throughout the story, he faces moral dilemmas and personal conflicts, ultimately leading to a transformation where he learns to balance his duty as a cop with his personal morals. By the end, Book emerges as a more compassionate and empathetic character, willing to make sacrifices for the greater good. | The character arc for John Book is well-developed, showcasing his growth and internal struggles. However, there could be more emphasis on his emotional journey and the impact of his decisions on his relationships with other characters. Additionally, the arc could benefit from more nuanced exploration of Book's internal conflicts and the consequences of his actions. | To improve the character arc, consider adding more scenes that delve into Book's emotional turmoil and the complexities of his relationships with other characters. Show more internal monologues or moments of introspection to highlight his internal struggles and moral dilemmas. Additionally, explore the consequences of his actions in more depth to create a more impactful and resonant character arc. |
john book | John Book starts as a tough and determined detective driven by a desire for justice and career advancement. However, as he is forced to adapt to life in an Amish community, he begins to question his beliefs about violence and justice. Through his interactions with the community, he learns to embrace vulnerability and empathy, ultimately finding a balance between his duty as a law enforcer and his respect for the Amish way of life. | The character arc for John Book is well-developed, showcasing his growth and internal struggles throughout the feature. However, there could be more emphasis on his emotional journey and the transformation of his moral compass. Additionally, more nuanced exploration of his relationships with other characters could add depth to his arc. | To improve the character arc, consider incorporating more internal monologues or reflective moments for John Book to delve deeper into his conflicting emotions and moral dilemmas. Explore his relationships with other characters, particularly the Amish community, to highlight the impact they have on his growth. Additionally, consider adding subtle foreshadowing or hints of his transformation earlier in the screenplay to enhance the payoff of his character arc. |
schaeffer | At the beginning of the screenplay, Schaeffer is introduced as a respected police chief with a strategic approach to law enforcement. However, as the story progresses, his true corrupt and manipulative nature is revealed. He becomes more power-hungry and willing to do whatever it takes to achieve his goals, ultimately posing a significant threat to the Amish community. In the climax, Schaeffer's actions catch up to him, leading to his downfall and eventual arrest for his crimes. | The character arc for Schaeffer is well-developed, showcasing a gradual descent into corruption and villainy. However, to enhance the impact of his downfall, more emphasis could be placed on his relationships with other characters, particularly those he manipulates and controls. This would add depth to his character and make his ultimate downfall more satisfying for the audience. | To improve the character arc for Schaeffer, consider adding scenes that delve into his backstory and motivations for his corrupt behavior. This could provide insight into why he is willing to go to such lengths to maintain power and control. Additionally, exploring the consequences of his actions on the Amish community in more detail would heighten the stakes and make his downfall more impactful. Finally, consider incorporating moments of vulnerability or internal conflict for Schaeffer to add complexity to his character and make him more relatable to the audience. |
eli | Eli starts off as a strict and traditional elder, guiding his family and community with a firm hand. However, as he faces challenges and confrontations, he learns to balance his strong beliefs with compassion and understanding. Through his interactions with outsiders and difficult situations, Eli evolves into a more open-minded and empathetic figure, ultimately becoming a source of strength and wisdom for the entire community. | The character arc for Eli is well-developed, showing a clear progression from a strict traditionalist to a more compassionate and understanding figure. However, to enhance the arc, there could be more specific moments or conflicts that challenge Eli's beliefs and force him to reevaluate his approach. This would add depth to his character development and make his transformation more impactful. | To improve the character arc, consider introducing a specific event or conflict that directly challenges Eli's beliefs and forces him to confront his own prejudices or biases. This could be a personal crisis within his family or a larger community issue that tests his values. By showing Eli's internal struggle and growth in response to these challenges, his transformation will be more compelling and resonate with the audience. |
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
Pattern | Explanation |
---|---|
High Stakes and Emotional Impact | Scenes with high stakes tend to have a higher emotional impact on the audience. |
Suspense and Emotional Impact | Suspenseful scenes also tend to have a higher emotional impact on the audience. |
Tense and Emotional | Tense scenes are often also emotionally charged, creating a powerful and immersive experience for the audience. |
Dramatic and Intense | Dramatic scenes often feature intense moments, further heightening the emotional stakes and keeping the audience engaged. |
Dialogue and Emotional Impact | Strong dialogue contributes significantly to the emotional impact of a scene, allowing characters to express their feelings and motivations in a compelling way. |
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
The screenplay demonstrates the writer's strong storytelling abilities, particularly in creating engaging character dynamics, exploring moral dilemmas, and building tension and suspense. The writer's unique voice and perspective shine through in the detailed descriptions, evocative dialogue, and emotionally resonant moments. By studying the provided scene-by-scene analyses and implementing the recommended improvements, the writer can further refine their craft and enhance the overall quality of their writing.
Key Improvement Areas
Suggestions
Type | Suggestion | Rationale |
---|---|---|
Screenplay | 'The Screenwriter's Bible' by David Trottier | This comprehensive guide provides a solid foundation in screenplay formatting, structure, and industry best practices. |
Screenplay | 'Witness' screenplay by William Kelley and Earl W. Wallace | This screenplay serves as a valuable example of how to effectively portray Amish culture, explore moral conflicts, and create compelling character dynamics within a rural setting. |
Exercise | Dialogue-writing exercise: Practice writing dialogue-driven scenes that convey subtext, emotional depth, and conflicting motivations.Practice In SceneProv | Engaging in this exercise will help refine the writer's ability to create authentic and emotionally resonant dialogue. |
Video | Study films and videos that effectively explore cultural clashes and Amish traditions. | Visual analysis of successful storytelling techniques can provide valuable insights for handling similar themes and settings. |
Course | Consider enrolling in a screenwriting course or workshop | Structured learning and feedback from experienced instructors can accelerate the writer's development and provide guidance in specific areas of improvement. |
Stories Similar to this one
Story | Explanation |
---|---|
Witness | A young Amish boy witnesses a murder and becomes involved in a police investigation. |
The Amish Murder | An Amish community is terrorized by a series of murders, and a Philadelphia police detective must investigate. |
Amish Grace | A true story about an Amish community's response to the shooting of five young girls at their school. |
The Gift | A psychic who helps the police investigate a series of murders has visions of a young Amish girl. |
The Village | A psychological thriller about a community of people who live in isolation, and the secrets that they keep. |
The Kettering Incident | A supernatural thriller about a series of murders in a small town, and the connection to a local Amish community. |
Signs | A science fiction thriller about a family who lives on an Amish farm, and the strange events that they experience. |
The Leftovers | A supernatural drama about a community that is left behind after a mysterious disappearance, and the strange events that follow. |
Station Eleven | A post-apocalyptic drama about a group of survivors who travel across a devastated world, and the stories that they share. |
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
---|---|---|
Romantic Subplot | The subplot involving Daniel Hochstetler's pursuit of Rachel Lapp. | A secondary love story that runs alongside the main plot and provides comic relief or romantic tension. |
Fish out of Water | Book is an outsider in the Amish community. | A character who is placed in an unfamiliar or uncomfortable environment and must learn to adapt. |
Forbidden Love | Book and Rachel's relationship is forbidden because of their different cultures. | A romance between two people who are from different social or cultural backgrounds and face obstacles to being together. |
Culture Clash | The conflict between the Amish and the English communities. | A conflict between two cultures with different values and beliefs. |
Redemption | Book's journey from a corrupt cop to a hero. | A character who has done wrong in the past and seeks to make amends. |
Badass Preacher | Eli Lapp, the Amish bishop, is a skilled fighter. | A religious figure who is also a skilled fighter or warrior. |
Child in Jeopardy | Samuel Lapp is a witness to a murder and is in danger. | A child character who is placed in danger and must be rescued. |
Corrupt Cop | Captain Terry Donahue is a corrupt police officer. | A police officer who is involved in criminal activity. |
Driven Detective | John Book is a driven detective who is determined to solve the case. | A detective who is obsessed with solving a case and will stop at nothing to do so. |
Heroic Sacrifice | Eli Lapp sacrifices himself to save Book. | A character who sacrifices their own life to save someone else. |
Theme | Theme Details | Themee Explanation | ||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
The tension between tradition and modernity | The film explores the conflict between the traditional Amish way of life and the modern world. The Lapp family struggles to maintain their traditions while also adapting to the changes that are happening around them. | This theme is reflected in the film's setting, which moves from the rural Amish community to the urban environment of Philadelphia. It is also reflected in the characters of Rachel Lapp and John Book, who represent the traditional and modern worlds, respectively. | ||||||||||||
Strengthening The tension between tradition and modernity:
| ||||||||||||||
The importance of family and community | The film shows the importance of family and community in the Amish way of life. The Lapp family is very close-knit, and they support each other through difficult times. The Amish community also comes together to help Rachel and her son, Samuel. | This theme is reflected in the scenes where the Lapp family and the Amish community come together to help Rachel. | ||||||||||||
The power of forgiveness | The film explores the power of forgiveness, both in the context of the Amish community and in the relationship between Rachel and John Book. Rachel is able to forgive Book for his past mistakes, and Book is able to forgive himself for his role in the death of his friend. | This theme is reflected in the scenes where Rachel and Book talk about forgiveness and in the scene where Book is able to let go of his guilt. |
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
Site | Description |
---|---|
Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
---|---|
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
Voice Analysis | |
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Summary: | The writer's voice in this screenplay is characterized by a blend of evocative descriptions, detailed characterizations, and a focus on emotional depth. The narrative direction is poetic and reflective, creating a somber and introspective tone. |
Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes to the script by enhancing the mood, themes, and depth of the story. The vivid imagery and emotional language draw the reader into the world of the characters, making them relatable and sympathetic. The writer's ability to capture the complexities of human nature and explore moral dilemmas adds weight and significance to the plot. |
Best Representation Scene | 14 - An Explosive Revelation |
Best Scene Explanation | Scene 14 is the best representation of the writer's voice because it combines all the key elements that define their unique style. The detailed description of the setting, the nuanced character interactions, and the exploration of moral dilemmas are all present in this scene. It also serves as a turning point in the story, as Rachel begins to question her beliefs and her relationship with John Book. |
- Overall originality score: 8
- Overall originality explanation: The screenplay exhibits a high level of originality, featuring unique characters, immersive cultural experiences, and a blend of conventional and unconventional storytelling techniques. The Amish community and their distinct traditions provide a fresh backdrop for a suspenseful crime thriller.
- Most unique situations: - A fugitive police officer seeking refuge within an Amish community. - The exploration of cultural differences and clashes between modern and traditional perspectives. - The protagonist's internal conflict between his duty as a law enforcer and his growing attachment to the Amish way of life. - The use of the Amish tradition of shunning as a high-stakes consequence for breaking community rules. - The climactic confrontation between the protagonist and his pursuers taking place within an Amish barn, adding an unexpected twist to the typical action sequence.
- Overall unpredictability score: 8.5
- Overall unpredictability explanation: The screenplay keeps the audience constantly engaged and guessing with its unpredictable plot twists and character dynamics. The motivations and alliances of the characters are constantly shifting, making it difficult to predict the outcome of the conflict. The blend of crime thriller elements with the immersive Amish setting adds to the element of surprise, resulting in a highly unpredictable and suspenseful narrative.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
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internal Goals | The protagonist's internal goals evolved from processing grief and seeking comfort to navigating a changing world and finding a sense of belonging. |
External Goals | The protagonist's external goals evolved from honoring her husband's memory to surviving a life-threatening situation and protecting her family. |
Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around the clash of traditional Amish values with modern societal norms, challenging the protagonist's beliefs in justice and morality. |
Character Development Contribution: The evolving internal and external goals challenge the protagonist's beliefs and values, leading to personal growth and self-discovery.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The protagonist's goals and conflicts drive the narrative forward, creating tension and suspense while exploring deeper themes of identity and belonging.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The protagonist's journey through internal conflict and external challenges adds thematic depth to the screenplay, exploring themes of tradition, survival, and the pursuit of justice.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
Site | Description |
---|---|
Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
---|---|
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
- Physical environment: The screenplay depicts a diverse range of physical environments, including Amish communities, rural landscapes, urban centers, and a variety of indoor settings such as homes, offices, and warehouses. These environments are vividly described, with particular attention to the unique characteristics and atmosphere of each location.
- Culture: The film explores the clash between traditional Amish culture and modern society. The Amish characters are portrayed as living a simple and deeply religious lifestyle, while the English characters are depicted as more secular and materialistic. The screenplay delves into the tensions and conflicts that arise as these two cultures interact.
- Society: The screenplay presents a complex and nuanced portrayal of society. The Amish community is depicted as a close-knit and supportive group, but it is also shown to be governed by strict rules and traditions. The English characters, on the other hand, are shown to be more individualistic and less bound by tradition. The film explores the ways in which these different societal structures shape the characters' lives and relationships.
- Technology: The film depicts a range of technological elements, from the simple tools used by the Amish to the advanced weapons employed by the police. The use of technology is often contrasted between the Amish and English characters, with the Amish rejecting modern technology in favor of traditional methods and the English characters embracing technology as a way to improve their lives.
- Characters influence: The unique physical environment, culture, society, and technology of the screenplay have a profound impact on the characters' experiences and actions. The Amish characters are shaped by their traditional lifestyle and beliefs, while the English characters are shaped by their modern outlook and values. The characters' interactions are often driven by the tensions between these two cultures.
- Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute to the overall narrative of the screenplay by creating a setting that is rich in conflict and tension. The clash between Amish and English culture provides the backdrop for a number of dramatic events, including a murder investigation, a police chase, and a violent confrontation. The world elements also help to develop the characters, as they are forced to navigate the challenges and obstacles posed by their surroundings.
- Thematic depth contribution: The world elements contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring the timeless themes of good versus evil, tradition versus modernity, and the search for redemption. The Amish characters represent the values of simplicity, humility, and community, while the English characters represent the values of ambition, individualism, and materialism. The film asks viewers to consider the strengths and weaknesses of both cultures, and to question the choices they make in their own lives.
central conflict
The central conflict revolves around the clash between two distinct worlds: the traditional Amish community and the modern, urban society.
primary motivations
- Rachel's need to reconcile her Amish beliefs with her love for John Book.
- John Book's pursuit of justice and his desire to protect Samuel from the corruption of the outside world.
catalysts
- The murder of Jacob Lapp, which brings John Book into the Amish community.
- Samuel's accidental witnessing of a murder in Philadelphia.
- The revelation of the corruption within the police force.
barriers
- The strict rules and traditions of the Amish community.
- The hostility of the outside world towards the Amish.
- The corrupt practices of the police force.
themes
- The tension between tradition and modernity.
- The importance of family and community.
- The struggle for justice and redemption.
stakes
The stakes involve the survival of the Amish community, the safety of Samuel, and John Book's own life.
uniqueness factor
The story uniquely explores the collision of two vastly different cultures and the challenges of finding common ground in the midst of adversity.
audience hook
The intriguing premise of an Amish witness to a crime and the subsequent involvement of an undercover detective.
paradoxical engine or bisociation
The story presents a paradoxical engine in the form of John Book's dual nature as an Amish fugitive and a protector of the Amish community.
paradoxical engine or bisociation 2
Alternatively, the paradoxical engine could be seen in the contrast between the peaceful Amish lifestyle and the violent world of crime and corruption.
Engine: Claude
Consider
Executive Summary
The screenplay for 'Witness' is a well-crafted drama that explores the themes of cultural clashes, personal growth, and the complexities of morality. The story follows a Philadelphia police officer, John Book, who is forced to go into hiding with an Amish woman, Rachel, and her young son, Samuel, after witnessing a murder involving corrupt police officers. The screenplay effectively balances action, suspense, and character development, as Book navigates the unfamiliar Amish way of life and is forced to confront his own preconceptions. While the screenplay has several strengths, such as the compelling character arcs and the authentic portrayal of Amish culture, it also has areas that could be improved, such as the pacing in certain sections and the need for more consistent thematic development. Overall, the screenplay is a strong contender that would likely appeal to a wide audience interested in character-driven dramas with elements of thriller and social commentary.
- The opening sequence and the funeral scene effectively establish the Amish setting and introduce the key characters, Rachel and her son Samuel, as well as the central conflict surrounding the death of Rachel's husband, Jacob. high ( Scene 6 (9) )
- The scenes depicting the Lapp family's journey from their Amish community to the city of Baltimore, and the subsequent culture shock experienced by Samuel, are well-executed and help to highlight the stark contrast between the two worlds. medium ( Scene 12 (14) Scene 13 (17) )
- The scenes in the Philadelphia train station, where Samuel witnesses a murder and Book's subsequent investigation, are well-paced and effectively ratchet up the tension and suspense. high ( Scene 20 (25) Scene 21 (30) )
- The scenes depicting Book's integration into the Amish community and his gradual acceptance of their way of life are well-written, highlighting the character's personal growth and the nuanced exploration of cultural differences. high ( Scene 28 (93B-93C) Scene 29 (93D-93H) )
- The climactic confrontation between Book, Schaeffer, and the Amish community is a well-executed, suspenseful sequence that brings the various narrative threads together in a compelling and satisfying manner. high ( Scene 41 (190-194) )
- The pacing of the scenes following the funeral, particularly the introduction of the various Amish characters, could be tightened to maintain a stronger narrative drive. medium ( Scene 7 (11) )
- The scenes depicting Book's investigation of the murder could be expanded upon to provide more depth and clarity to the underlying plot, particularly the connection between the corrupt police officers and the drug trade. medium ( Scene 24 (52C-52D) )
- The development of the relationship between Book and Rachel could be more consistently integrated throughout the screenplay, with the emotional connection between the two characters feeling a bit uneven at times. medium ( Scene 32 (114-116) )
- The screenplay could benefit from a clearer explanation of the larger conspiracy involving the corrupt police officers and the drug trade, as this seems to be a key element of the overall plot that is not fully explored. medium ( Scene 24 (52C-52D) )
- The screenplay could delve deeper into the cultural and religious differences between Book and the Amish community, exploring the nuances of their worldviews and how these differences shape the characters' motivations and decisions. medium ( Scene 32 (114-116) )
- The scene in which Book's delirium causes him to unleash a barrage of profanity is a notable moment that effectively highlights the contrast between his gruff, urban persona and the piety of the Amish setting. medium ( Scene 26 (80) )
- The scenes depicting Book's integration into the Amish community, including his participation in the barn-raising and his interactions with the Amish elders, are well-crafted and provide valuable insight into the Amish way of life. high ( Scene 29 (93B-93J) )
- The climactic confrontation between Book, Schaeffer, and the Amish community, with the Amish banding together to protect Book, is a powerful and emotionally resonant moment that underscores the screenplay's themes of community, morality, and the consequences of one's actions. high ( Scene 41 (190-194) )
- Cultural Nuance While the screenplay does a commendable job of depicting the Amish community and its customs, there are a few instances where the exploration of cultural differences could be more nuanced. For example, the scenes involving Samuel's interactions with modern technology (e.g., the escalator, the pay phone) could be further developed to more deeply examine the clash between Amish and English ways of life. medium
- Pacing Issues As noted in the 'Areas of Improvement' section, the pacing in certain sections of the screenplay, particularly the introduction of the various Amish characters following the funeral, could be tightened to maintain a stronger narrative drive. This suggests that the writer may still be developing their skills in balancing character development with overall pacing. medium
- Underdeveloped Subplots The screenplay's central plot involving the corrupt police officers and the drug trade could be more fully explored and integrated throughout the narrative. The lack of a more comprehensive treatment of this subplot suggests that the writer may still be learning how to weave multiple storylines together effectively. medium
Engine: Gemini
Recommend
Executive Summary
Witness is a compelling thriller screenplay that successfully blends a gritty crime story with a moving fish-out-of-water narrative. The script excels in its rich character development, particularly John Book's arc as he grapples with corruption within his department and finds solace in the Amish community. The clash of cultures is vividly depicted, creating both dramatic tension and heartfelt moments. The screenplay also boasts a strong sense of place, vividly capturing both the urban decay of Philadelphia and the idyllic tranquility of Lancaster County. While the pacing could be tightened in the middle section, the overall narrative arc is engaging and ultimately satisfying.
- The screenplay effectively creates two contrasting worlds: the brutal reality of Philadelphia's criminal underworld and the serene, community-driven life of the Amish. This contrast enhances the dramatic tension and highlights Book's internal struggle. high
- The screenplay excels in depicting the Amish community, showcasing their unique customs, beliefs, and way of life. The dialogue in Sequence 11 effectively introduces Daniel Hochstetler's character while also hinting at his atypical nature. The barn raising in Sequence 27 serves as a microcosm of Amish community life, showcasing their values and traditions. Rachel's internal conflict between her attraction to Book and her Amish beliefs is subtly but powerfully depicted in Sequence 34. high ( Scene 11 (11) Scene 27 (106) Scene 34 (125) )
- Samuel's journey from wide-eyed innocence to a more nuanced understanding of the world is effectively portrayed. His encounters with the English world in Sequence 5, his struggles with the concept of violence in Sequence 22, and his silent goodbye to Book in Sequence 32 are particularly well-written. medium ( Scene 5 (23A) Scene 26 (93K) Scene 32 (112) )
- The screenplay masterfully builds suspense, particularly in the scenes where Book's vulnerability is exposed. The betrayal by Schaeffer in Sequence 14 and the brutal interrogation of Carter in Sequence 30 are chilling and effective. high ( Scene 14 (59) Scene 30 (109) )
- The budding romance between Book and Rachel is handled with sensitivity and restraint. The scene in Sequence 20 where the Amish elders examine Book and the scene in Sequence 28 where they dance in the barn are both charged with unspoken attraction and cultural tension. medium ( Scene 20 (86) Scene 28 (100A) )
- While the screenplay effectively establishes Daniel's interest in Rachel, his character could be further developed. Adding scenes that delve deeper into his personality, motivations, and reactions to Book's presence would enhance the romantic subplot and provide more dramatic tension. For instance, expanding the scene in Sequence 12 where Daniel and his brothers help the Lapps with their work could provide insight into his character and his relationship with Rachel. Similarly, the scene in Sequence 23, where Daniel picks up Book for the barn raising, could be an opportunity to explore their rivalry more explicitly. medium ( Scene 11 (12) Scene 23 (93B) )
- The screenplay could benefit from tightening the pacing in the middle section, particularly after Book arrives at the Lapp farm. Some scenes feel repetitive, and the story could move forward with more urgency. medium ( Scene 19 (80) )
- The resolution of the conflict with Schaeffer and his corrupt officers feels somewhat rushed. The final confrontation could be given more weight and dramatic impact by exploring the internal struggle of the Amish community as they decide to intervene. The screenplay could also benefit from showing the aftermath of the event and its effect on the Lapp family and the community. medium
- While the screenplay hints at the corruption within the police department, it could be explored in greater depth. Adding scenes that showcase the systemic nature of the problem and the challenges Book faces as an internal affairs officer would add more complexity and realism to the story. low
- The screenplay could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the moral dilemmas faced by both Book and Rachel. Book's decision to use violence despite being surrounded by pacifists and Rachel's struggle to reconcile her feelings for Book with her Amish beliefs could be given more focus. low
- The screenplay could benefit from a stronger visual language. While the descriptions are generally clear and concise, they could be enhanced with more evocative imagery and sensory details to further immerse the reader in the world of the story. medium
- The screenplay could benefit from a clearer thematic throughline. While the clash of cultures is effectively portrayed, other themes like violence, justice, and redemption could be more explicitly explored and integrated into the narrative. low
- The screenplay could benefit from a more compelling opening scene. The current opening, while visually striking, is somewhat slow-paced and lacks a strong hook to immediately engage the reader. low
- The screenplay deftly handles the transition between the contrasting worlds of the city and the Amish countryside, creating a distinct atmosphere for each location. high
- The screenplay's use of German dialect adds authenticity to the portrayal of the Amish community, further emphasizing the cultural divide between Book and his surroundings. medium
- The scene where Samuel silently hugs Book before his departure is a powerful and poignant moment that encapsulates the emotional core of the story. high ( Scene 32 (112) )
- Character depth of secondary characters The writer seems to focus heavily on the main characters, especially Book and Rachel. While they are well-developed, some secondary characters, like Daniel Hochstetler and the corrupt cops, could benefit from more backstory and inner life to make them more than just plot devices. medium
Engine: GPT4
Recommend
Executive Summary
The screenplay 'Witness' is a compelling blend of drama and thriller, set against the unique backdrop of the Amish community. It excels in character development, narrative strength, and thematic consistency. However, it could benefit from tighter pacing in certain areas and a more resolved ending.
- The opening sequence effectively establishes the Amish setting and introduces key characters with visual and auditory details. high ( Scene 1 (3-10) )
- The tension between Book and his superiors is well-portrayed, adding depth to his character and setting up the central conflict. high ( Scene 6 (31A) )
- The barn-raising scene showcases the Amish community's values and provides a moment of cultural immersion. medium ( Scene 27 (99) )
- The intimate moment between Book and Rachel is handled with sensitivity, highlighting their growing bond. high ( Scene 32 (113-114) )
- The climax involving the Amish community's non-violent resistance is powerful and thematically resonant. high ( Scene 40 (184-188) )
- The pacing in the middle sections drags, particularly during the scenes at Elaine's house. medium ( Scene 10 (45-49) )
- The transition from the city to the Amish community could be smoother and more impactful. medium ( Scene 16 (66-68) )
- The resolution feels somewhat abrupt and could benefit from a more conclusive ending. high ( Scene 41 (190A) )
- The subplot involving Schaeffer's corruption could be more fleshed out to add depth to the antagonist. medium ( Scene 33 (119-119A) )
- The confrontation scenes could use more tension and stakes to heighten the drama. high ( Scene 35 (134-135) )
- A deeper exploration of the Amish community's perspective on the events could add more layers to the narrative. medium ( Scene general )
- More backstory on Book's past and motivations would help in understanding his character better. medium ( Scene general )
- The screenplay could benefit from more moments of levity to balance the intense drama. low ( Scene general )
- The authentic portrayal of the Amish community is a standout element. high ( Scene 1 (3-10) )
- The internal police politics add a layer of complexity to the narrative. medium ( Scene 6 (31A) )
- The barn-raising scene is visually and thematically rich. high ( Scene 27 (99) )
- The romantic tension between Book and Rachel is well-developed. high ( Scene 32 (113-114) )
- The climax involving the Amish community's non-violent resistance is a powerful moment. high ( Scene 40 (184-188) )
- Cultural Sensitivity While the screenplay portrays the Amish community with respect, it occasionally falls into stereotypes. More nuanced representation would enhance authenticity. medium
- Pacing Issues Certain sections, particularly in the middle, drag and could be tightened to maintain narrative momentum. medium
- Abrupt Resolution The ending feels rushed and lacks a satisfying conclusion, which can leave the audience feeling unfulfilled. high