Terminator 2

Executive Summary

Poster
Overview

Genres: Action, Thriller, Science Fiction, Sci-Fi, Drama

Setting: 2029, with flashbacks to 1997, Los Angeles

Overview: In a post-apocalyptic Los Angeles, Sarah Connor, a fierce warrior, and her young son, John, the future leader of the resistance against machines, are pursued by the relentless, shapeshifting T-1000 Terminator. Along the way, they team up with an unexpected ally, a reprogrammed Terminator, to prevent the rise of Skynet and save humanity. Despite facing overwhelming odds, they must overcome their differences and work together to alter the course of fate.

Themes: The Power and Danger of Artificial Intelligence, The Importance of Human Connection, The Power of Hope, The Importance of Sacrifice, The Power of Forgiveness

Conflict and Stakes: The battle for survival between the human resistance and the machines, and the personal conflicts between Sarah, John, and the Terminator.

Overall Mood: Dark and suspenseful, with moments of hope and humor.

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

  • Scene 1: The film's opening scene is a dark and suspenseful look at the future, where the machines have taken over and the human resistance is struggling to survive and this mood is extended to a significant portion of the film.
  • Scene 12: The scene where Sarah Connor confronts the T-1000 in the steel mill is one of the most suspenseful scenes in the film, as Sarah fights for her life against an unstoppable enemy in this scene the mood shifts from hope to complete desperation.
  • Scene 16: The film's ending is hopeful, as John Connor leads the human resistance to victory against the machines, but it is also bittersweet, as Sarah Connor sacrifices herself to save John.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The film's premise is unique and exciting, and the action sequences are both thrilling and terrifying.
  • Plot Twist: The film's plot features several unexpected twists and turns, which keep the audience engaged.
  • Special Effects: The film's special effects are top-notch, and they help to create a realistic and immersive world.
  • Characters: The film's characters are well-developed and relatable, and the audience will root for them to succeed.

Comparable Scripts:

  • Terminator 2: Judgment Day
  • RoboCop
  • The Matrix
  • Blade Runner
  • Alien
  • Predator
  • Escape from New York
  • Escape from L.A.
  • Terminator Genisys

Writing Style:

The overall writing style of the screenplay is characterized by intense action sequences, complex narratives, and deep character development. The screenplay blends elements of science fiction, drama, and thriller, creating a captivating and engaging story.

Style Similarities:

  • James Cameron
  • Christopher Nolan
Other Similarities
Pass/Consider/Recommend

Recommend


Explanation: Terminator 2: Judgment Day is a thrilling and emotionally engaging science fiction action film that builds upon the foundation of the original Terminator movie. The screenplay effectively blends intense action sequences with well-developed characters and a compelling narrative that explores themes of fate, technology, and the consequences of human actions. While the opening scenes could be tightened, and the moral and ethical implications of the Terminator's existence could be further explored, the overall execution of the screenplay is strong, with a poignant and powerful conclusion that leaves the audience with a sense of hope for the future.


USP: **Exclusive Concept:** "Terminator: The Final Day" offers a groundbreaking cinematic experience that transcends the typical action-packed narrative of the Terminator franchise. Set in a dystopian future, this script uniquely blends gripping action sequences with intricate character development and thought-provoking themes that will resonate with audiences. **Unforgettable Characters:** Experience the captivating arcs of Sarah Connor, the fierce and determined resistance leader; the Terminator, an advanced machine grappling with its evolving consciousness; and John Connor, the enigmatic and resourceful young man destined to save humanity. These multi-dimensional characters drive the story with their struggles, sacrifices, and unwavering determination. **Immersive Storytelling:** Innovative storytelling techniques draw viewers into the immersive world of Terminator. Intense battle scenes, relentless chases, and heart-pumping confrontations are interwoven with a gripping narrative that challenges our understanding of good and evil, the value of humanity, and the consequences of technological advancement. **Provocative Themes:** Beyond its thrilling visuals, "Terminator: The Final Day" explores profound themes that will provoke deep thought and ignite discussions. The film questions the ethics of war, the nature of artificial intelligence, the resilience of the human spirit, and the responsibility we hold for the choices we make. **Captivating from Start to Finish:** With its unique blend of action, character-driven narrative, and introspective themes, "Terminator: The Final Day" appeals to a wide range of audiences seeking an unforgettable and thought-provoking cinematic experience. Each scene offers a distinct and memorable journey that will leave viewers on the edge of their seats from beginning to end.
Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$100 million

Target Audience Demographics: Adults and teenagers, fans of science fiction and action movies

Marketability: It has a strong premise, well-developed characters, and exciting action sequences.

The film's themes are relevant to current events, and the action sequences are both thrilling and terrifying.

The film is well-made and has a strong cast, but the subject matter may be too dark for some audiences.

Profit Potential: High, due to the film's strong appeal to a wide audience and potential for award nominations

Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice in the screenplay is characterized by intense and fast-paced action sequences, sharp and witty dialogue, and an exploration of themes such as morality, sacrifice, and the nature of humanity in the face of adversity.

Best representation: Scene 20 - Learning Humanity at the Gas Station. Scene 20 best represents the writer's voice as it showcases the Terminator's unwavering loyalty and protectiveness towards John and Sarah. The scene also highlights the moral complexity of the Terminator's mission and the ethical implications of using such advanced technology for warfare.

Memorable Lines:

  • Terminator: I'll be back. (Scene 33)
  • Terminator: Hasta la vista, baby. (Scene 36)
  • Terminator: Come with me if you want to live. (Scene 17)
  • John: No fate but what we make. The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. (Scene 26)
  • Terminator: I know now why you cry. But it is something I can never do. (Scene 38)
Characters

Sarah Connor:A woman targeted by Terminators sent from the future to kill her son.

John Connor:Sarah's son, who is destined to lead the human resistance against the machines.

Terminator:A cyborg sent from the future to protect John Connor.

T-1000:A liquid metal Terminator sent from the future to kill John Connor.

Story Shape
Summary In a post-apocalyptic world, John Connor, his mother Sarah, and their cyborg protector the Terminator, must battle against the deadly T-1000 to prevent Judgment Day and save humanity. Despite facing overwhelming odds, the trio skillfully outmaneuvers their powerful foe and sacrifices are made in the process. In the aftermath, John takes on a leadership role in the fight against machines, while Sarah contemplates the importance of human life and the resilience needed to overcome the darkest of challenges. Their journey is one of survival, sacrifice, and the enduring bond forged through their shared mission to protect the future of humanity.


Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The plot and story of this screenplay has many strengths. The post-apocalyptic setting is well-developed and the stakes are clear. The characters are well-developed and their motivations are believable. The action sequences are exciting and the pacing is good. Overall, this is a well-written and engaging screenplay. However, there are a few areas that could be improved.
Suggestions: One suggestion is to develop the relationship between Sarah Connor and John Connor more. In the screenplay, their relationship is not as strong as it could be. Another suggestion is to add more depth to the character of the Terminator. In the screenplay, the Terminator is a bit one-dimensional. Adding more depth to his character would make him more interesting and relatable to the audience. Finally, the ending of the screenplay could be more satisfying. In the screenplay, the ending is a bit abrupt. Adding more detail to the ending would make it more satisfying for the audience.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Beginning The beginning of the screenplay effectively introduces the post-apocalyptic setting and the main characters. The action sequence at the beginning is exciting and sets the tone for the rest of the screenplay. Overall, the beginning of the screenplay is well-written and engaging.
Suggestions: One suggestion for improving the beginning of the screenplay is to add more backstory for Sarah Connor. In the screenplay, Sarah Connor's backstory is not as developed as it could be. Adding more backstory would make her character more interesting and relatable to the audience.
Middle The middle part of the screenplay is well-paced and the action sequences are exciting. The relationship between Sarah Connor and John Connor is developed more in this part of the screenplay. However, the character of the Terminator does not develop as much as he could. Overall, the middle part of the screenplay is well-written and engaging.
Suggestions: One suggestion for improving the middle part of the screenplay is to add more depth to the character of the Terminator. In the screenplay, the Terminator is a bit one-dimensional. Adding more depth to his character would make him more interesting and relatable to the audience.
Ending The ending of the screenplay is a bit abrupt. The action sequence at the end is exciting, but the ending feels like it is missing something. Overall, the ending of the screenplay is well-written but could be improved.
Suggestions: One suggestion for improving the ending of the screenplay is to add more detail to the final battle. In the screenplay, the final battle is not as detailed as it could be. Adding more detail would make the ending more exciting and satisfying for the audience.

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

1 - Post-Apocalyptic Battlefield Dystopian, Intense, Foreboding, Surreal 9 9 99 8 789989988 79999
2 - Terminator's Diner Encounter Intense, Suspenseful, Violent, Dark 9 8 99 8 798989988 89999
3 - Domestic Rebellion and Mental Anguish Defiant, Intense, Chilling, Smug, Cheerful 8 8 79 9 787787878 89888
4 - Pursuit and Deception Intense, Suspenseful, Dark 8 8 89 7 687988987 79888
5 - Sarah's Nightmare Intense, Emotional, Dark 9 9 98 9 898889989 89999
6 - Disturbing Visions and Cybernetic Mysteries Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 8 8 99 8 798888989 79999
7 - Terminator Infiltration and Sarah's Resistance Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 9 8 99 8 798989988 79999
8 - Corridor Showdown Intense, Suspenseful, Action-packed 9 9 88 7 6899910987 69999
9 - The Chase Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intriguing 9 9 88 9 898989988 89999
10 - Deadly Deception Suspenseful, Dark, Intense, Dramatic 9 9 99 8 789989988 89999
11 - The T-1000's Abilities and Clues from the Past Intense, Suspenseful, Foreboding 9 9 89 7 787989988 89988
12 - John Confronts Terminator's Power Intense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Confrontational 8 8 89 9 887.5988998 79988.5
13 - Sarah Connor's Escape Intense, Suspenseful, Dark 9 8 99 9 887989988 89888
14 - The Infiltration Suspenseful, Dark, Intense, Mysterious 9 9 89 7 587989987 69988
15 - Hospital Infiltration and Subduing Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Dark 9 8 99 8 987.5989998 798.588
16 - Escape from the Isolation Floor Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 9 9 98 8 7989810988 79999
17 - Deadly Encounter in the Hospital Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Tense 9 8 98 9 8989810989 89999
18 - Elevator Assault Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Tense 9 9 98 8 798989988 79999
19 - Escape from the T-1000 Intense, Suspenseful, Emotional 9 8 99 8 887989989 89888
20 - Refuge in the Gas Station Intense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Serious 9 8 99 9 887.5989999 898.588
21 - Learning Humanity at the Gas Station Intense, Suspenseful, Informative 8 8 79 9 887676777 89888
22 - Reflections at the Rest Stop Serious, Tense, Informative 8 9 89 7 798779987 89888
23 - A Scientist's Struggle Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Emotional 9 8 98 8 787979978 79888
24 - The Reunion Intense, Suspenseful, Serious, Emotional 8 8 88 7 787.5989988 798.588
25 - Unlikely Connections Intense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Reflective 9 8 99 9 887878979 89888
26 - Sarah's Resolve Intense, Emotional, Suspenseful 9 9 99 9 898888989 89888
27 - Sarah's Assassination Attempt Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 9 8 98 8 8989810989 79999
28 - Revelation and Redemption Intense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Dramatic 9 8 99 9 987.59898910 89888
29 - Confrontation and Revelation Intense, Emotional, Tense, Confrontational 9 9 99 9 898889989 89888
30 - Infiltrating Cyberdyne Systems Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 9 8 98 8 789989988 79999
31 - Operation Cyberdyne Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 9 8 98 8 7899810987 79999
32 - Battle for the Terminator Relics Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 9 8 99 8 789989988 79999
33 - Terminator's SWAT Team Takedown Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 9 8 98 8 7999810988 79999
34 - Highway Chase and Escape Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 9 8 98 8 7899810988 79999
35 - Tanker Chase and Explosion Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 9 8 99 9 889989989 89999
36 - Confrontation at the Steel Mill Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic 9 9 99 8 7899910988 79999
37 - Clash of the Titans Intense, Suspenseful, Emotional 9 9 99 9 898999989 89999
38 - Terminator Defeated Intense, Emotional, Hopeful, Reflective 9 9 99 9 9988899810 89999


Scene 1 - Post-Apocalyptic Battlefield
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY

by

James Cameron

and

William Wisher


Revised final shooting script
1 EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

Downtown L.A. Noon on a hot summer day. On an EXTREME LONG LENS the
lunchtime crowd stacks up into a wall of humanity. In SLOW MOTION
they move in herds among the glittering rows of cars jammed bumper to
bumper. Heat ripples distort the torrent of faces. The image is
surreal, dreamy... and like a dream it begins very slowly to

DISSOLVE TO:

2 EXT. CITY RUINS - NIGHT

Same spot as the last shot, but now it is a landscape in Hell. The
cars are stopped in rusted rows, still bumper to bumper. The
skyline of buildings beyond has been shattered by some
unimaginable force like a row of kicked-down sandcastles.
Wind blows through the desolation, keening with the sound of ten
million dead souls. It scurries the ashes into drifts, stark
white in the moonlight against the charred rubble.

A TITLE CARD FADES IN:

LOS ANGELES, July 11, 2029

3 ANGLE ON a heap of fire-blackened human bones. Beyond the mound is a
vast tundra of skulls and shattered concrete. The rush hour crowd
burned down in their tracks.

4 WE DISSOLVE TO a playground... where intense heat has half-melted the
jungle gym, the blast has warped the swing set, the merry-go-round
has sagged in the firestorm. Small skulls look accusingly from the
ash-drifts. WE HEAR the distant echo of children's voices... playing
and laughing in the sun. A silly, sing-songy rhyme as WE TRACKS
SLOWLY over seared asphalt where the faint hieroglyphs of hopscotch
lines are still visible.

CAMERA comes to rest on a burnt and rusted tricycle... next to the
tiny skull of its owner. HOLD ON THIS IMAGE as a female VOICE speaks:

VOICE
3 billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997.
The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war
Judgment Day. They lived only to face a new
nightmare, the war against the Machines...

A metal foot crushes the skull like china.

TILT UP, revealing a humanoid machine holding a massive battle rifle.
It looks like a CHROME SKELETON... a high-tech Death figure. It is
the endoskeleton of a Series 800 terminator. Its glowing red eyes
compassionlessly sweep the dead terrain, hunting.

The SOUNDS of ROARING TURBINES. Searchlights blaze down as a
formation of flying HK (Hunter-Killer) patrol machines passes
overhead. PAN WITH THEM toward the jagged horizon, beyond which we
see flashes, and hear the distant thunder of a pitched battle in
progress.
5 EXT. BATTLEFIELD - NIGHT

THE BATTLE. Human troops is desperate combat with the machines for
possession of the dead Earth. The humans are a ragtag guerrilla
army. Skynet's weapons consist of Ground HKs (tank-like robot
gun-platforms), flying Aerial HKs, four-legged gun-pods called
Centurions, and the humanoid terminators in various forms.

SEQUENCE OF RAPID CUTS:
5A Explosions! Beam-weapons firing like searing strobe-light.
5B A gunner is an armored personnel carrier fires a LAW rocket at a
pursuing Aerial HK, bringing it down in a fiery explosion.
5C Another APC is crushed under the treads of a massive Ground HK.

5D A TEAM OF GUERRILLAS in a intense fire-fight with terminator
5E endoskeletons in the ruins of a building. Three terminator
5F endoskeletons advance, firing rapidly. Another (complete cyborg),
with flesh ripped open and back broken, gropes for a rifle on the
ground.

5G A Centurion overruns a human firing position. Soldiers are cut
down as they run. Fiery explosions light the ranks of advancing
machines.

6 IN A BLASTED GUN EMPLACEMENT at the edge of battle, a man watches
the combat with night-vision binoculars. He wears the uniform of a
guerrilla general, and a black beret. He is still amid running,
shouting techs and officers.

C.U. MAN, pushing slowly in as the battle rages O.S. He lowers the
binoculars. He is forty-five years old. Features severe. The left
side of his face is heavily scarred. A patch covers that eye. An
impressive man, forged in the furnace of a lifetime of war. The name
stitched on the band of his beret is CONNOR. We push in until his
eyes fill frame, then...

DISSOLVE TO:

FIRE. SLOW, BOILING, ENORMOUS. FILLING FRAME.

VOICE (SARAH CONNOR)
Skynet, the computer which controlled the machines,
sent two terminators back through time. Their
mission: to destroy the leader of the human
Resistance... John Connor. My son.

The first terminator was programmed to strike at
me, in the year 1984... before John was born.
It failed.

The second was set to strike at John himself,
when he was still a child. As before, the
Resistance was able to send a lone warrior. A
protector for John. It was just a question of
which one of them would reach him first...

DISSOLVE TO:
7 EXT. TRUCKSTOP - NIGHT

Wild fingers of BLUE-WHITE ELECTRIC ARCS dance in a steel canyon
formed by two TRACTOR TRAILERS, parked side by side in the back lot
of an all-night truck stop. Then...

The strange lightning forms a circular opening in mid-air, and in
the sudden flare of light we see a FIGURE in a SPHERE OF ENERGY.
Then the FRAME WHITES OUT with an explosive THUNDERCLAP!

Through the clearing vapor we see the figure clearly... a naked man.
TERMINATOR has come through. Physique: massive, perfect. Face:
devoid of emotion. Terminator stands and impassively surveys its
surroundings.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Drama"]

Summary In 2029 Los Angeles, after nuclear devastation, humans battle machines including terminators on a grim battlefield. Connor, a scarred guerrilla general, watches with determination as a female narrator recounts the horrors of the war and the emergence of the Terminator.
Strengths
  • Compelling concept
  • Intense action sequences
  • Strong world-building
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
  • Dialogue could be more dynamic
Critique
  • The scene starts with a strong visual contrast between the bustling city street and the post-apocalyptic ruins, effectively setting the tone for the rest of the script.
  • The transition from the city street to the ruins is well executed, creating a sense of disorientation and shock for the audience.
  • The description of the playground as a landscape in Hell is vivid and evocative, painting a grim picture of the aftermath of Judgment Day.
  • The use of a female voiceover to narrate the horrors of the nuclear war adds a personal and emotional touch to the scene.
  • The introduction of the humanoid machine with glowing red eyes effectively establishes the threat posed by the machines in the post-apocalyptic world.
  • The rapid cuts in the battlefield sequence create a sense of chaos and urgency, immersing the audience in the intensity of the combat.
  • The character of Connor is intriguing, with his scars and military attire hinting at a complex backstory and a hardened personality.
  • The use of fire and explosions as visual motifs throughout the scene reinforces the theme of destruction and conflict.
  • The mention of Skynet and the terminators sets up the central conflict of the story and creates anticipation for the events to come.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more specific details to enhance the visual imagery and immerse the audience further in the post-apocalyptic world.
  • Explore ways to develop the character of Connor further, providing more insight into his motivations and struggles in the war against the machines.
  • Ensure that the transitions between different locations and time periods are seamless and easy for the audience to follow.
  • Consider incorporating more dialogue or interactions between characters to deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Continue to build tension and suspense throughout the script, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.
  • Pay attention to pacing and structure to maintain a balance between action sequences and character development.
  • Consider exploring themes of survival, sacrifice, and hope in the face of overwhelming odds to add depth to the story.



Scene 2 - Terminator's Diner Encounter
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
8 INT. TRUCK STOP DINER - NIGHT

On a back route to north L.A. A handful of local TRUCKERS hunch over
chili-sizes, CAT hats pushed back on their heads. Three BIKERS are
playing a game of pool in the back, their Miller empties lining the
table's rail. The dive's owner, LLOYD, a fat, aging biker-type in a
soiled apron, stands behind the bar. Nothing much going on...

Then the front door opens and a big naked guy strolls in -- that
doesn't happen every night. All eyes simultaneously swivel toward
Terminator. Its emotionless gaze passes over the customers as it
walks calmly through the room. Everyone frozen, not sure how to
react.

8A TERMINATOR POV. A digitized electronic scan of the room, overlaid
with alphanumeric readouts which change faster than the human eye
can follow. In POV we move past the staring truckers, past the
owner and the awestruck WAITRESS, and approach a large nasty-looking
biker puffing on a cigar. His body is outlined, or "selected", and
thousands of estimated measurements appear. His clothing has been
analyzed and deemed suitable...

8B TERMINATOR
I need your clothes, your boots, and your
motorcycle.

The big biker's eyes narrow. He takes a long draw on this cigar,
the tip cherry-red hot.

CIGAR BIKER
You forgot to say please.

He grinds the cigar out on Terminator's chest. Which produces not
the slight reaction of pain. Terminator calmly, and without
expression, grabs Cigar by his meaty upper arm...
Cigar screams from the hydraulic grip.

Terminator doesn't see Cigar's friend, behind him, holding his pool
cue by the narrow end like a Louisville Slugger. The heavy send
whistles in a powerful swing and CRACKS IN TWO across the back of
Terminator's head.
Terminator seems not to notice. Doesn't even blink. Without
releasing his grip on Cigar, he snaps his arm straight back and grabs
Pool Cue by the front of his jacket. Suddenly the heavyset biker
finds himself flying through the nearest window. CRAASSH!

Terminator hurls Cigar, all 230 pounds of him, clear over the bar,
through the serving window into the kitchen, where he lands on the
big flat GRILL. We hear a SOUND like SIZZLING BACON as Cigar
screams, flopping jerking. He rolls off in a smoking heap.

The third biker whips out a knife with a eight-inch blade and slashes
at Terminator's face.

Terminator grabs the arcing blade with his bare hand. Holding it by
the razor-sharp blade he jerks is from the guy's hand.
Ultra-fast here: He flips it. Grabs the handle like you're supposed
to hold a knife. Grabs the biker and slams him face-down over the
bar. Then brings the knife whistling down, pinning the biker's
shoulder to the bar top with his own steel.

9 INT. KITCHEN

The doors BANGS OPEN and Terminator strides in.
The Mexican cook does a fast fade as Terminator walks toward Cigar,
who is cursing in pain on the floor.

With his deep-fried fingers he struggles to get out the .45 auto
tucked under his leather jacket. But he can't even hold onto it.
Terminator takes it from him. Instead of pointing it at him,
Terminator carefully examines weapon, analyzing its caliber and
operating condition. Terminator never threatens... that's a human
thing. He just takes.

Cigar senses what he must do when the emotionless eyes come back to
him. He slides the keys to his bike across the floor to Terminator's
foot. Then painfully starts getting out of his jacket.

10 INT. TRUCK STOP

Terminator strides from the kitchen, fully clothed now in a black
leather jacket, leather riding pants, and heavy, clean boots. He
moves toward the moaning biker pinned to the pool table. Without
slowing his stride he jerks the knife out. The guy slumps to the
floor, groaning, behind him.

Terminator continues toward the front of the diner, passing Lloyd,
the owner. At the door, he comes abreast of two truckers who sit
frozen like a snapshot in mid-bite. One of the truckers finally
nods.

TRUCKER
Evening...

Terminator impassively stares back. Then moves on out the door.
11 EXT. TRUCK STOP

Terminator walks out, surveying the parked Harleys. Sticks the .45
in his belt and swings one leg over a massive CUSTOM ELECTRO-GLIDE.
He slips the dagger in his boot and the key in the ignition. Kicks
over the engine. It catches with a roar and he slams the heavy iron
into gear with a KLUNK.

Lloyd appears at the diner's door with a sawed-off 10-GAUGE
WINCHESTER LEVER-ACTION SHOTGUN. He fires into the air and jacks
around round in fast, aiming at Terminator's back.

LLOYD
I can't let you take the man's wheels, son.
Now get off or I'll put you down.

Terminator turns and considers by coldly. He eases the shifter up
into neutral. Rocks the bike onto its kickstand. Swings him leg
over and walks calmly toward the guy.

Terminator strides right up to Lloyd, staring straight into the
shotgun's muzzle. Lloyd starts sweating, trying to decide is he's
going to kill a man in cold blood. He's still trying to decide when
Terminator's hand blurs out like a striking cobra and is somehow
suddenly holding the shotgun.

Lloyd gapes, knowing he's screwed. Then...
Terminator reaches toward him. Oh shit...
And slips the sunglasses out of Lloyd's shirt pocket. Puts them on.
Strides back to the Harley and roars off in a shower of gravel.

12 EXT. FREEWAY - NIGHT

Terminator roars down the freeway, heading for L.A. Cold neon flares
across the chrome of the big bike. The 10-gauge is jammed through
the clutch and brake cables, across the handlebars. The lights flow
over Terminator's wrap-around sunglasses like the tracks of tracer
rounds.

CUT TO:

13 EXT. OVERPASS - NIGHT

The First Street Bridge. Rusting chain-link fence and graffiti-
covered walls. An L.A.P.D. BLACK-AND-WHITE cruises the empty street.

A TREMENDOUS BLUE-WHITE GLARE suddenly spills out between the columns
of the overpass. The young UNIFORMED COP in the car whips his head
around at the source of the light. He pulls over quickly, in time
to see...

13A The powerfully arcing electrical discharge reaches its peak between
the columns. Lightning climbs the chain-link fence and light
standards, lighting up the night, and papers swirl in a blasting
whirlwind.

13B The cop climbs from his cruiser as the glow fades.
He sees vapor dissipating as he approaches the spot where he saw the
strange light. He draws his revolver and cautiously moves into the
shadows between the rows of pillars.

A NAKED MAN glides from a shadowed doorway behind the cop. Nothing
special about him. Certainly not built like a terminator. The flash
of light and fact that he is naked are pretty good clues that he
just arrived from the future. His features are handsome bordering
on severe. His eyes are gray ice. Penetrating. Intelligent.

THE COP spins at a sound. Too late. Mr. X is already on him. The
blow is lighting fast and the cop drops like a bag of sand.

LOW ANGLE as the unconscious cop hits the deck, his BERETTA 9mm
AUTOMATIC clattering next to him. A hand ENTERS FRAME and picks up
this pistol.

CUT TO:

13C HIGHLY POLISHED BLACK SHOES rounding the rear tire of the police
cruiser. FOLLOW THE SHOES to the cruiser's door then MOVE UP as
Mr. X, dressed now in LAPD blue, climbs behind the wheel. He
looks and acts exactly like a cop. Cool, alert, confident in his
power, his expression emotionless and judgmental.
Mr. X, now Officer X, puts the car in gear and drives into the night.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Array
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Compelling premise
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a tense and suspenseful atmosphere as Terminator enters the truck stop diner, creating a sense of unease among the patrons.
  • The action sequences are well-described and showcase Terminator's formidable abilities, such as effortlessly handling the bikers who try to attack him.
  • The use of Terminator's emotionless demeanor and calculated actions adds to the character's intimidating presence and sets the tone for the rest of the scene.
  • The scene effectively sets up the conflict between Terminator and the bikers, leading to a series of escalating confrontations that highlight Terminator's strength and resilience.
  • The visual descriptions help to create a vivid picture of the scene, from the dive bar setting to the intense action sequences.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or reactions from Terminator to provide insight into the character's mindset and motivations.
  • Explore the dynamics between Terminator and the bikers further to add depth to the conflict and create more tension in the scene.
  • Introduce more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere and immerse the reader in the setting, such as sounds, smells, and textures.
  • Consider incorporating dialogue or interactions between Terminator and the bikers to add layers to the scene and develop the characters further.
  • Ensure consistency in the pacing of the action sequences to maintain a sense of momentum and keep the reader engaged throughout the scene.



Scene 3 - Domestic Rebellion and Mental Anguish
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
14 INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE/GARAGE - DAY

TIGHT ON YOUNG JOHN CONNOR, who at his moment is ten years old and
busy reassembling the carburetor on his Honda 125 dirtbike. He has
ripped Levi's and long stringy hair. A sullen mouth. Eyes which
reveal an intelligence as sharp as a scalpel. The Ramones' "I Wanna
Be Sedated" blasts from a boom box next to him.

A WOMAN, JANELLA VOIGHT, stands in the doorway of the garage,
yelling over the music.

WOMAN
...John? John! Get in here right now and
clean up that pigsty of yours.

John's friend TIM, a thirteen-year-old Hispanic kid, watches as John
replies by turning up the volume on the boom box.
Janelle gives up with a SLAM of the house's back door.

TIM
Your foster parents are kinda dicks, right?

JOHN
Gimme that Phillips right there.

15 INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

Janelle storms into the room. TOD VOIGHT, her husband, watches
sports on the TV. They're both in their thirties. Middle-class
working stiffs.
JANELLE
I swear I've had it with that goddamn kid.
He won't even answer me.
(neither does he)
Todd? Are you gonna sit there or are you gonna
do something?

He sighs. Throws down the TV's remote and heads for the garage.

16 INT. GARAGE

John hops on the bike. Kick-starts it. Tim picks up John's nylon
bag, then climbs on the back. Todd ENTERS and shouts over the
engine, which John revs louder and louder.

TODD
John! Get your ass inside right now and do
what your mother says!

John pins Todd with a defiant glare.

JOHN
She's not my mother, Todd!

He revs the engine and peels out of the garage, with Tim almost
falling off the back. They take off down the street.

17 EXT. VACANT LOT/DRAINAGE CANAL

John cuts through a vacant lot to a trail running beside a fenced-in
drainage canal. He guns the bike through a hole in the retaining
fence. Tim's eyes go wide as they roar down the concrete embankment.

17A IN THE DRAINAGE CANAL John zig-zags along, throwing up a
roostertail of muddy water. Tim shouts, pretending he didn't just
see his life flash before his eyes. He slaps John on the back.

TIM
Major moves, homes! So... where is your
real mom, anyway?
(John doesn't answer)
She dead or something?

It's hard to read John's expression.

JOHN
She might as well be.

John twists the throttle angrily and the bike lunges forward.

CUT TO:

18 EXT. PESCADERO STATE HOSPITAL - DAY

A SIGN on a chain link fence topped with concertina wire reads:
PESCADERO STATE HOSPITAL FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE. Beyond it
squats an imposing four-story building. Institutional brick.
Barred windows. About as inviting as KGB headquarters. Security
guards patrol the manicured grass.

19 INT. HOSPITAL - MAXIMUM SECURITY WING

Sunlight is a barred slash on the bare institutional wall. The room
is empty of all furnishings save the bed, a stainless steel sink,
toilet, and a dented metal mirror. WE HEAR a rhythmic grunting,
small explosions of breath in perfectly-metered time.

PAN TO a bedframe leaned upright against the wall, legs facing
outward. A pair of sweaty hands grip one leg. Tendons knot and
release as SOMEONE does pull-ups. A man of tangled hair hides the
face that comes INTO FRAME, dips out, comes back.

WIDER. A WOMAN in a tank top and hospital pants in hanging from the
top leg of the vertical bedframe. Her body is straight and taut.
Knees bent so the feet clear the ground. The arms are lean and
muscular. The inmate, face hidden, pulls up, dips, pulls up. Like
a machine. No change in rhythm.

20 INT. HOSPITAL/CORRIDOR

FIGURES MOVE TOWARD US down a corridor of polished tile and two-
tone walls. DR. PETER SILBERMAN, a smug criminal psychologist,
leads a group of young INTERNS. Following laconically, are THREE
BURLY ATTENDANTS.

SILBERMAN
The next patient is a 29-year old female
diagnosed as acute schizo-affective disorder.
The usual indicators... depression, anxiety,
violent acting-out, delusions of persecution.
(the interns nod judiciously)
Here we are.

Silberman stops at one of the SOUNDPROOF STEEL DOORS. There is a two-
way speaker beneath a tiny window. Silberman flips the intercom
switch.

21 INT. CELL

Silberman's scrubbed and cheerful face at cell window. HIS VOICE
comes over the tinny speaker.

SILBERMAN
'Morning, Sarah.

REVERSE ANGLE as she turns slowly into CLOSE UP.
SARAH CONNOR is not the same woman we remember from last time. Her
eyes peer out through a wild tangle of hair like those of a cornered
animal. Defiant and intense, but skittering around looking for
escape at the same time. Fight or flight. Down one cheek is a long
scar, from just below the eye to her upper lip.
Her VOICE is a low and chilling monotone.
SARAH
Good morning, Dr. Silberman. How's the knee?

22 INT. CORRIDOR

Silberman's smug composure drops a second. Then returns.

SILBERMAN
Fine, Sarah.
(he switches off, speaks to
the interns)
She, uh... stabbed me in the kneecap with a
screwdriver a few weeks ago.

Sarah watches them talking about her through the glass, but can't
hear them. She feels like a lab animal. The interns look in at her
through the glass as Silberman talks. With her face drawn, eyes
haggard and hair wild, she looks like she belongs where she is.

SILBERMAN
The delusional architecture is interesting.
She believes a machine called a "terminator",
which looks human of course, was sent back
though time to kill her. And also that the
father of her child was a soldier, sent to
protect her... he was from the future too...
(he smiles)
The year 2029, if I remember correctly.
(the interns chuckle)
Let's move on, shall we?

As the interns walk on, Silberman steps close to DOUGLAS, the head
attendant, and speaks low.

SILBERMAN
Douglas, I don't like seeing the patients
disturbing their rooms like this. See that she
takes her thorazine, would you?

DOUGLAS is 6'4", 250 pounds and warm-hearted at a rattlesnake. He
nods, catching Silberman's meaning, and gestures for the other
attendants to hang back as Silberman moves on in his rounds.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Drama"]

Summary In a suburban home, John Connor defies his foster parents and escapes with his friend, Tim. Inside the house, Janelle and Todd argue over John's behavior. Simultaneously, in a mental hospital, Sarah Connor interacts with Dr. Silberman, showcasing her delusional beliefs. The scene underscores John's rebellious nature and the psychological struggle faced by Sarah.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Effective setting establishment
Weaknesses
  • Potential for deeper conflict
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
Critique
  • The scene introduces a new setting and characters without a clear connection to the previous scenes, which can be confusing for the audience.
  • The transition from John Connor working on his dirtbike to Sarah Connor in a mental hospital feels abrupt and disjointed.
  • The dialogue between John and Tim lacks depth and doesn't contribute much to the overall story or character development.
  • The interaction between Janelle and Todd lacks emotional depth and fails to establish a strong conflict or tension.
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of purpose or direction, making it feel disconnected from the larger narrative.
Suggestions
  • Consider integrating the scene more seamlessly into the overall story arc to maintain continuity and coherence.
  • Develop the dialogue between characters to reveal more about their relationships, motivations, and conflicts.
  • Add more depth to the interactions between characters to create a stronger emotional impact and engage the audience.
  • Ensure that each scene serves a clear purpose in advancing the plot and developing the characters.
  • Provide more context or background information to help the audience understand the significance of the events in the scene.



Scene 4 - Pursuit and Deception
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
23 INT. CELL

Sarah looks up as the cell door opens. Douglas walks in slowly,
idly tapping his POLICE BATON against the door in a ominous rhythm.
The other two orderlies ease in behind him. One of them carries a
STUN BATON (like a sawed-off cattle prod). The other has a tray with
cups of red liquid-thorazine.

DOUGLAS
Time to take you meds, Connor.

Sarah faces him, weight centered. Feral eyes darting from one to the
other.
SARAH
You take it.

Douglas grins, casual --

DOUGLAS
Now you know you got to be good 'cause you up
for review this afternoon...

SARAH
I'm not taking it. Now I don't want any
trouble...

DOUGLAS
Ain't no trouble at all --

He whips the baton in a whistling backhand, which --
WHAP! Takes her square in the stomach. She doubles over and drops
to her knees, unable to breathe. Douglas tips the bed and it slams
down with a crash, right new to her. He takes her stun wand from
the other attendant and walks forward.

TIGHT ON SARAH, grimacing and struggling to breathe.

SARAH
You... son of a... AAARRGH!!

The stun wand hits her between shoulder blades as she tries to rise.
It drives her to the floor, pinning her like a bug. Little
ELECTRIC ARCS CRACKLE as the baton makes her writhe in pain.
Douglas grabs her by the hair and jerks her up to her knees. Holds
the cup of thorazine in front of her lips.

DOUGLAS
Last call, sugar.

Gasping, she chokes the zombie juice down.

CUT TO:

24 EXT. BANK PARKING LOT - DAY

John furtively hunches before a Ready-Teller machine at the rear of
a local bank while his friend Tim stands lookout. John slips a
stolen ATM card into the machine slot. It is something he's rigged
up, because trailing from the card is ribbon-wire which goes to
some kind of black-box electronics unit he's got in his ever-present
knapsack. He holds the pack between his knees and pulls out a
little lap-top keyboard, which is also connected to the black-box.

John enters a few commands and the plasma-screen displays the PIN
number for that account. He quickly enters the number on the Ready-
Teller's keypad and asks it for 300 bucks. The machine whirs then
begins dispensing twenty-dollar bills. Tim looks back over his
shoulder amazed.

JOHN
Easy money!
TIM
Where'd you learn all this stuff?

John collects the twenties as the machine kicks them out. A cool and
professional electronic-age thief at ten years old.

JOHN
From my mom. My real mom, I mean. Come on
baby...
(he grabs the last bills)
Let's go!

They sprint around the corner to an --

25 EXT. ALLEY BEHIND BANK

They huddle behind the building as John counts out Tim's share.
He folds five twenties and palms them to the other kid. When John
opens his wallet to put in his money, Tim notices a picture in a
plastic sleeve.

TIM
That her?

John reluctantly shows his friend the Polaroid. It is a shot of
Sarah. Pregnant, in a jeep near the Mexican border. John doesn't
know it now, but he will carry the photo with him for over 30 years,
and give it to a young man named Kyle Reese, who will travel back in
time to become his father. Yes, that photo.

TIM
So she's pretty cool, huh?

JOHN
Actually, no, she's a complete psycho. That's
why she's up at Pescedero. She tries to blow up
a computer factory, but she got shot and arrested.

TIM
No shit?

JOHN
Yeah, she's a total loser. C'mon, let's check
out the 7-Eleven, whatya say?

John has tried to sound casual, but we see in his eyes that is really
hurts. He slaps Tim on the shoulder and they jump onto his Honda.
John fires up and they whine off down the alley.

CUT TO:

26 INT. POLICE CRUISER - DAY

CLOSE ON COMPUTER TERMINAL, attached to the dash. A Juvenile
Division file. Subject: John Connor. Below his ARREST RECORD are
his vital stats. Mother: Sarah Connor. Legal Guardians: Todd and
Janelle Voight. And below their names, an address: 523 S. Almond.
Reseda, Ca.
OFFICER X stares at the screen for a moment. Then gets out the car.

27 INT./EXT. VOIGHT HOUSE - DAY

TIGHT ON FRONT DOOR as Todd Voight opens it, revealing the unsmiling
face of Officer X beyond the screen door. Todd greets him with a
weary sigh.

OFFICER X
Are you the legal guardian of John Connor?

TODD
That's right, officer. What's he done now?

Officer X ignores the question. He casually scans the living room.

OFFICER X
Could I speak with him, please?

Todd shrugs, showing the cop he's past his patience with the boy.

TODD
Well, you could if he was here. Be he took off
on his bike this morning. Could be anywhere.
You gonna tell me what his is about?

OFFICER X
I just need to ask him a few questions.

Janelle appears in the doorway behind Todd, concerned.

JANELLE
There was a guy here this morning asking about
him, too.

TODD
Yeah, big guy. On a bike. Has that got
something to do with it?

Officer X registers the significance of that. He realizes who the
big guy must be. He smiles. Reassuringly shakes his head no.

OFFICER X
I wouldn't worry. Do you have a photograph
of John?

Todd stares unhappily at the cop. Turns to Janelle.

TODD
Get the album, Janelle.

CUT TO:

28 EXT. STREET

ANGLE THROUGH AN ALLEY from the main street. We see John and Tim
flash by on the Honda a block away. Hold a beat. Then...
A BIG CHROME WHEEL ENTERS FRAME. BOOM UP a leather-clad leg to
Terminator's implacable face. It surveys the area slowly as the
bike idles, then kicks it into gear and moves on, scanning in a
slow shark-like manner, not aware that it missed its prey by
seconds.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Drama"]

Summary Sarah Connor endures abuse and medication in prison as John Connor commits petty theft with an accomplice. Meanwhile, authorities investigate John's disappearance and the Terminator relentlessly searches for him. Despite the looming threat, John remains oblivious to the Terminator's pursuit.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Compelling post-apocalyptic setting
  • Strong conflict and tension
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Sarah being beaten and forcibly administered thorazine in her cell to John committing a petty theft using a hacked ATM. This sudden shift in focus can be disorienting for the audience and disrupt the flow of the narrative.
  • The violence and brutality inflicted on Sarah by Douglas are depicted in a graphic and disturbing manner, which may be excessive and unnecessary for the scene. It's important to handle sensitive and violent scenes with care to avoid gratuitous depictions of abuse.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and Douglas feels forced and lacks subtlety, with Douglas coming across as a stereotypical abusive authority figure. Adding more depth and nuance to their interaction could make the scene more engaging and realistic.
  • The transition from Sarah's traumatic experience to John's lighthearted theft at the ATM lacks cohesion and fails to establish a clear connection between the two storylines. This abrupt shift in tone can be jarring for the audience.
  • The scene could benefit from more character development and emotional depth, especially in portraying Sarah's resilience and John's rebellious nature. Exploring their inner thoughts and motivations could add layers to their characters and make the scene more compelling.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between Sarah's ordeal and John's theft, perhaps by intercutting their experiences or finding a thematic link between the two events.
  • Tone down the graphic violence and brutality in Sarah's interaction with Douglas to maintain a balance between depicting the harsh realities of her situation and avoiding unnecessary shock value.
  • Focus on developing the dialogue between Sarah and Douglas to add complexity to their dynamic and reveal more about their characters' motivations and conflicts.
  • Explore ways to deepen the emotional impact of the scene by delving into Sarah and John's internal struggles and reactions to their respective challenges, providing insight into their resilience and determination.
  • Consider incorporating visual cues or symbolic elements to enhance the thematic connections between Sarah's trauma and John's rebellious behavior, creating a more cohesive and thematically rich scene.



Scene 5 - Sarah's Nightmare
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
29 INT. SARAH'S CELL - DAY

CLOSE ON SARAH. She is shackled, hands and feet, to the bed.
Sunlight falls across her pale face. A hand enter frame, gently
stroking her cheek. She wakes up to see --

KYLE REESE. Sitting on the edge of her bed, looking exactly the
same as we last saw him in 1984. Scruffy blonde hair and a long
raincoat.

SARAH
Kyle..? You're dead.

He gives her a gentle smile.

REESE
I know. This is a dream, Sarah.

SARAH
Oh. Yeah. They... make me take this stuff...

He puts a finger to her lips. Then silently unfastens her restraints.
They gaze into each other's eyes. And in the look that his death
and the horror she has been through since hasn't touched their love
at all.

SARAH
Hold me.

She melts into Reese's arms. Pulls him to her.

REESE
I love you. I always will.

SARAH
Oh, God... Kyle. I need you so much.

She kisses him passionately. They are locked together in a timeless
moment. PUSH IN TIGHT on Sarah as she buries her face in his
shoulder. She shuts her eyes tight. Stay on Sarah as Reese speaks.
He voice is strangely cold.

REESE (O.S.)
Where's John, Sarah?

Sarah opens her eyes and he is no longer in her arms. He is standing
across the room. Pinning her with an accusing gaze.

SARAH
They took him from me.
REESE
It's John who's the target now. You have to
protect him. He's wide open.

SARAH
I know!

REESE
Don't quit, Sarah. Our son need you.

SARAH
(struggling not to cry)
I know, but I'm not as strong as I'm supposed
to be. I can't do it. I'm screwing up the
mission.

REESE
Remember the message... the future is not set.
There is not fate but what we make for ourselves.

He turns toward the door.

SARAH
Kyle, don't go!

REESE
(turning back to her)
There's not much time left in the world, Sarah.

Reese goes out the door. Sarah jumps from the bed, frantic. Yanks
the door open. Follow her out.

30 INT. CORRIDOR

Sarah staggers from her cell. Reese is already, impossibly, a
hundred feet away, striding down the dim corridor. A silhouette
in a long coat, disappearing around a corner.

Sarah runs after him, her bare feet slapping the cold linoleum.
Her hospital gown floats out behind her as she dream-runs along the
seemingly infinite corridor. She reaches the corner, slides around
it, and...

30A Slams right into the arms of Douglas and his three helpers. They
grab her as she struggles and screams. The Silberman is there,
smiling soothingly. They force her down and she is pinned to
the floor, screaming. A new figure approaches... one even more
menacing.

TERMINATOR walks toward her, with heavy measured steps. Backlit,
eyes concealed by the sunglasses, it stands over her like the angel
of death itself. It reaches down and...
Takes her hand. Lifts her up. Leads her to a door. They go through
together. Emerging into...
30B A BEAUTIFUL SUNLIGHT MORNING. CHILDREN are playing nearby... sliding
down slides, clambering through a jungle gym. Sarah knows this
dream know... it's is the worst of all her nightmares. She starts
to scream but no sound comes out.

30C THE SKY EXPLODES into WHITE LIGHT. Everything is seared by the unholy
glare, hotter than a thousand suns. The children ignite like
match heads. Sarah is burning, screaming silently, everything silent
and overexposed. Terminator's flesh and clothing are burning,
silently. It grips her hand, Virgil to her Dante in this tour of the
nuclear-age Inferno.

30D THE BLAST WAVE HITS... a near-solid wall of compressed air followed
by 250-mph winds. The children, charcoal statues frozen in positions
of play, explode into black leaves of ash and swirl away. SOUND
hit now, with a thunderous roar. Sarah's scream merges with the
howl of the wind as the blast hits her, exploding the flesh from her
bones. Beside her, Terminator is stripped of its burnt flesh,
becoming a smoking skeleton of steel.

30E Then she wake up... in her cell, shackled to the bed. Sunlight hurts
her eyes. She looks desperate and defeated. She knows the war is
coming. It visits her every time she closes her eyes. Lost and
alone, Sarah feels all hope recede for herself and for humanity.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Drama","Action"]

Summary Sarah awakens in a cell, shackled, and shared a kiss with Kyle Reese, who informs her of John's danger. Reese vanishes, and Sarah is captured. The Terminator guides Sarah through a door into a peaceful setting, which is abruptly consumed by a nuclear blast. Sarah awakens in her cell, feeling helpless and defeated.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Compelling character interactions
  • Intriguing dream sequences
Weaknesses
  • Potentially overwhelming for some viewers due to intense themes and imagery
Critique
  • The scene starts with a dream sequence involving Kyle Reese, which may confuse the audience as to whether it is real or not. It's important to clearly establish dream sequences to avoid confusion.
  • The emotional connection between Sarah and Kyle is portrayed well, but the transition to the more accusatory tone when he questions her about John feels abrupt and could be smoother.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and Kyle is emotional and impactful, but the shift in Kyle's demeanor to a more cold and urgent tone could be better developed for a more seamless transition.
  • The transition from the dream sequence to Sarah waking up in her cell is jarring and could be improved with a smoother transition to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The vivid description of the nuclear explosion nightmare is powerful, but the impact could be heightened by focusing on Sarah's emotional reaction to the nightmare.
Suggestions
  • Clarify the dream sequence by establishing it more clearly as a dream to avoid confusion for the audience.
  • Smooth out the transition between emotional moments and urgent dialogue to maintain a consistent tone throughout the scene.
  • Consider refining the dialogue between Sarah and Kyle to ensure a more natural progression in their interaction.
  • Work on the transition from the dream sequence to Sarah waking up in her cell to create a more seamless flow in the scene.
  • Enhance the emotional impact of the nightmare description by focusing on Sarah's emotional reaction to the traumatic event.



Scene 6 - Disturbing Visions and Cybernetic Mysteries
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
31 INT. PESCADERO STATE HOSPITAL - INTERVIEW ROOM

TIGHT ON VIDEO SCREEN, playing a previously-recorded session.
Sarah is in a strait-jacket, talking softly.

VIDEO SARAH
... it's... like a giant strobe light, burning
right through my eyes... but somehow I can still
see. Look, you know the dream's the same every
night, why do I have to --

VIDEO SILBERMAN
Please continue...

31A The REAL SARAH dispassionately watches herself on the screen. Her
expression is controlled. Silberman watches her watching. They are
in a brightly-lit interview room. TWO ATTENDANTS stands nearby.

31B VIDEO SARAH
The children look like burnt paper... black,
not moving. Then the blast wave hits them and
they fly apart like leaves..."

Video Sarah can't go on. Real Sarah watches herself cry on tape,
her expression cold. We hear Silberman speak on the tape.

VIDEO SILBERMAN
Dreams about cataclysm, or the end of the world,
are very common, Sarah...

Video Sarah cuts him off, her mood shifting to sudden rage.
VIDEO SARAH
It's not just a dream. It's real, you moron!
I know the date is happens!!

VIDEO SILBERMAN
I'm sure it feels very real to you --

VIDEO SARAH
On August 29th 1997 it's going to feel pretty
fucking real to you, too! Anybody not wearing
number two million sunblock in gonna have a
real bad day, get it?

VIDEO SILBERMAN
Relax now, Sarah --

VIDEO SARAH
You think you're alive and safe, but you're
already dead. Everybody, you, him...
(she gestures are the
attendant)
everybody... you're all fucking dead!

She is raving, half out of her chair. The orderly moves to inject
her with something.

VIDEO SARAH
You're the one living in a dream, Silberman,
not me! Because I know it happens. It
happens!

31C Silberman pauses the tape... freezing Sarah's contorted face.
Real Sarah turns away from the screen, he expression stony.

SARAH
I was afraid... and confused. I feel much
better, now. Clearer.

Silberman gives a calculated paternal smile.

SILBERMAN
Yes. Your attitude have been very positive
lately.

Sarah looks up at him. Her voice is hopeful.

SARAH
It has helped me a lot to have a goal, something
to look forward to.

SILBERMAN
And what it that?

As she answers, WE PULL BACK, revealing that we have been looking
through a one-way mirror from an adjacent OBSERVATION ROOM. In the
shadows of the observation room we see that interns from the
earlier rounds, and a couple of STAFF PSYCHOLOGISTS. They smoke and
make the occasional note.
SARAH
You said I could be transferred to the minimum
security wing and have visitors if I showed
improvement in six months. Well, it's been six
months, and I was looking forward to seeing my
son.

SILBERMAN
I see. Let's go back to what you were saying
about these terminator machines. Now you think
they don't exist?

CLOSE ON SARAH. Her voice sounds hollow.

SARAH
They don't exist. I see that now.

Silberman leans back, studying her. Toying with her.

SILBERMAN
But you've told me on many occasions about how
you crushed one in a hydraulic press.

SARAH
If I had, there would have been some evidence.
They would have found something at the factory.

SILBERMAN
I see. So you don't believe anymore that the
company covered it up?

Sarah shakes her head no.

CUT TO:

32 EXT. CYBERDYNE SYSTEMS - DAY

The corporate headquarters of a mega-electronic corporation. As
imposing cubist castle of black glass.

33 INT. SECOND FLOOR/ELEVATORS

The elevator doors slide open with a whisper and MILES DYSON strides
out. Black. In his early thirties. The star of the Special
Projects Division. He's brilliant, aggressive, driven. Dyson walks
down the corridor, swinging his arms... a man in a hurry. A man
with much to do.

He reaches a solid security door and zips his ELECTRONIC KEY-CARD
through the scanner. The door unlocks with a clunk.
The sign next to the door reads: SPECIAL PROJECTS DIVISION:
AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.

34 INT. SECURITY STATION

He nods to the guards as he passes through the security checkpoint.
They can see all activities on the floor on their bank of monitors.
He unlocks another service door with his card and enters --
35 INT. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE (A.I.) LAB

The lab is quite large, comprising banks of processors, disk drives,
test bays, prototype assembly areas. Extremely high tech.

DYSON
Greetings, troops.

He is jokingly saluted by fellow members. Not a lab coat in sight.
This is strictly jeans and sneakers crowd. All young and bright.
They sit at their consoles drinking Coke and changing technology as
we know it. A young LAB ASSISTANT rushes over to Dyson. Name tag
says he's BRYANT.

BRYANT
Mr. Dyson? The material teams wants to run
another test on the uh... on it.

DYSON
Yup. Come on. I'll get it.

Dyson produces an unusual-looking KEY from his pocket as they stride
through the lab. Bryant has to hustle to keep up.

BRYANT
Listen, Mr. Dyson, I know I haven't been here
that long, but I was wondering if you could tell
me... I mean, if you know...

DYSON
Know what?

BRYANT
Well... where it came from.

DYSON
I asked them that question once. Know what
they told me? Don't ask.

36 INT. VAULT ROOM

Dyson enters with Bryant. Dyson and a GUARD stand together before
what looks like a high-tech bank vault. It requires two keys to
open, like the launch controls in a nuclear silo. The guard and
Dyson insert their keys and turn them simultaneously. Dyson then
enters a passcode at a console and the vault unlocks itself with a
sequence of clunks. The door swings open and Dyson enters. Bryant
stays outside with the guard, who notes Dyson's name and item on a
clipboard.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah, a patient in a mental hospital, claims to have apocalyptic dreams and reveals a specific date for an impending disaster. Meanwhile, Miles Dyson at Cyberdyne Systems enters a secure lab where a mysterious object is being kept, creating an aura of suspense and intrigue.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Intriguing plot revelations
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may feel slightly exposition-heavy
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from Sarah watching a video of herself to Miles Dyson at Cyberdyne Systems, which can be disorienting for the audience.
  • The dialogue in the video of Sarah talking about her apocalyptic dreams feels forced and lacks subtlety, making it less impactful.
  • The interaction between Sarah and Dr. Silberman lacks depth and emotional resonance, missing an opportunity to delve into Sarah's inner turmoil and struggles.
  • The scene lacks a clear connection between Sarah's delusions and Miles Dyson's work at Cyberdyne Systems, making the transition between the two feel disjointed.
  • The tension and suspense in the scene could be heightened by building up the stakes and consequences of Sarah's beliefs and actions.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between Sarah's video and Miles Dyson at Cyberdyne Systems.
  • Focus on developing more nuanced and emotionally resonant dialogue for Sarah and Dr. Silberman to deepen the impact of their interaction.
  • Explore the connection between Sarah's delusions and Miles Dyson's work more explicitly to create a stronger thematic link between the two storylines.
  • Enhance the tension in the scene by emphasizing the consequences of Sarah's beliefs and actions, building towards a more climactic moment.
  • Consider adding visual cues or symbolic elements to reinforce the themes of Sarah's apocalyptic visions and the impending threat posed by Cyberdyne Systems.



Scene 7 - Terminator Infiltration and Sarah's Resistance
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
37 INT. VAULT

Dyson walks to a stainless steel cabinet and opens it. Inside is a
small artifact in a sealed container of inert gas. IT -- a ceramic
rectangle, about the size of a domino, the color of liver. It has
been shattered, painstakingly reconstructed and mounted on a metal
frame.
Dyson removes the artifact, it its insert-gas, and sets it on a
specially-designed cart. He handles it like the Turin Shroud.
Dyson closes the cabinet. Turns to the one next to it. Opens its
door. In this cabinet is a larger object... an intricate METAL HAND
AND FOREARM.

At the elbow, the metal is twisted and crushed. But the forearm and
hand are intact. Its metal surface scorched and discolored, it
stands upright in a vacuum flask, as if saluting. This is all that
remains of the terminator Sarah destroyed. Dyson stares at it, lost
in thought. The he closes the cabinet, BLACKING OUT FRAME.

CUT TO:

38 INT. INTERVIEW ROOM/OBSERVATION ROOM

We can see through the one-way mirror into the interview room where
Sarah is still talking with Silberman. The OTHER PSYCHOLOGISTS are
still watching through the mirror. Reviewing Sarah's condition.

SARAH
So what do you think, Doctor? I've shown a lot
of improvement, haven't I?

SILBERMAN
You see, Sarah... here's the problem. I know
how smart you are, and I think you're just
telling me what I want to hear. I don't think
you really believe who you've been telling me
today.

We go tight on Sarah's reaction. And we see that Silberman is right.
She was playing him and it didn't work. And she knows she's fucked.
Her tone becomes quite pleading.

SARAH
You have to let me see my son. Please. It's
very important. He's in danger. At least let
me call him --

Silberman pins her with his sweet reptilian gaze.

SILBERMAN
I'm afraid not. Not for a while. I don't see
any choice but to recommend to the review board
that you stay here another six months.

Sarah's eyes turn cold and lethal in one second. She knows she's
lost. She knows this guy is just playing with her, and she --
LEAPS ACROSS THE TABLE AT HIM.

SARAH
YOU SON OF A BITCH!!

Silberman jumps back and the attendants dive on her. She is writhing
and twisting like a bobcat. Silberman whips open a drawer and pulls
out a syringe. He jabs it into her and she yells --
SARAH
Goddammit. Let me go!! Silberman! You don't
know what you're doing! You fuck! You're dead!
You hear me!!

Silberman signals and the attendants drag her out.
He looks at the doctors behind the glass. Shrugs.

SILBERMAN
Model citizen.

CUT TO:

39 EXT. 7-ELEVEN STORE - DAY

Officer X has stopped two young girls in front of a 7-Eleven. He is
leaning out the cruiser window and showing them the picture of John.
The first girl nods.

FIRST GIRL
Yeah, he was here about fifteen minutes ago. I
think he said he was going to the Galleria.

OFFICER X
The what?

The second girl points toward a massive complex visible about the
houses several blocks away. Officer X stares at it.

40 EXT. STREET

Terminator cruises slowly on the bike. Scanning. He crosses an
overpass above a drainage canal and whips his head around at the
sound of a dirt-bike engine.

40A TERMINATOR POV -- OF TWO KIDS ON A BIKE DOWN IN THE CANAL.
THE IMAGE SNAP-ZOOMS IN. FREEZES ON THE DRIVER'S FACE.
"IDENT POS" FLASHES NEXT TO THE BLURRY IMAGE OF JOHN.

40B Terminator wheel the Harley around, cutting onto a street which runs
parallel to the canal. Terminator hauls ass at keep John in sight.
He catches glimpses of the kid through trees and houses. Loses him.
Catches one last glimpse of him heading into the parking lot of a
large SHOPPING MALL.

41 INT. GALLERIA - DAY

John works his way through a crowded video arcade. Sees some guys he
knows. Stops to talk, striking a pose. Mall rats in the element.
We don't hear the dialogue.

42 INT. GALLERIA PARKING LOT

TERMINATOR'S idling Harley shakes the parking garage walls. He stops
at a row of bikes near the escalators. John's little Honda sits
proudly with the big street bikes. Terminator parks.
43 INT. GALLERIA

OFFICER X is moving through the flow of shoppers. The place is a zoo.
He stops some kids and shows them the picture. They shrug.

43A IN A CROWDED VIDEO ARCADE JOHN is lost in an intense battle, going for
a new high score at "Missile Command". He parries deftly at the enemy
ICBMs deploy their MIRVs... the warheads stream down... it's more than
he can deal with. The world gets nuked. Game over. He slouches
away from the game, looking for another. Bored.

RACK FOCUS to Officer X passing the entrance of the store behind him.
The cop moves on, down the concourse, out of sight.
John gets in an "Afterburner" simulator game.

43B ON TERMINATOR, walking through the crowd in slow motion. Scanning.
He moves with methodical purpose, knowing the target is close. We
see that he is, incredibly, carrying a box of LONG-STEM ROSES. Like
some hopeful guy with a hot date.

43C THE COP is pointed toward the arcade by come kids hanging out at the
multi-cinema. He walks into the maze of kids engaged in synthesized
combat. Cheap electronic effects blare above the crowd noise.

43D JOHN is shooting down MiGs at Mach 2. His friend Tim slides up next
to him. Taps him on the shoulder, trying to play it cool.

TIM
Some cop is scoping for you, dude.

John looks around the corner of the "Afterburner" ride. Sees the cop
showing a picture to some of the kids. The kids point his way.

John ducks just as the cop glances over. He slinks out the other side
of the ride and heads for the back of the store, instinctively
retreating. Sarah has taught him that cops are bad news.

THE COP scans the crowded arcade. Glimpses John, looking back as he
moves around a row of machines. Starts toward him.

JOHN sees the cop homing in and starts walking fast. Looks back.
THE COP is shoving through clots of kids. One of them is slammed to
the floor. As eddy of outrage behind the cop as he gains speed.
John breaks into run. So does the cop.
Kids scatter like ten-pins as the cop charges after John.
John sprints through the arcade's back officer and store-rooms.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah's manipulation fails, leading to her sedation. The Terminator tracks John in the Galleria, engaging in a chase with him. John evades capture.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Compelling character dynamics
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
  • Certain character motivations could be further explored
Critique
  • The scene transitions from Dyson examining artifacts in a vault to Sarah being interviewed by Silberman in a mental hospital, creating a disjointed flow.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and Silberman lacks depth and emotional impact, making the confrontation feel flat and unengaging.
  • The introduction of Officer X and his search for John at the 7-Eleven store feels abrupt and disconnected from the previous events in the scene.
  • The sudden shift to Terminator tracking John in the mall parking lot feels rushed and lacks a smooth transition from the previous interactions.
  • The parallel actions of John in the arcade, Officer X searching for him, and Terminator approaching the mall lack cohesion and fail to build tension effectively.
Suggestions
  • Consider restructuring the scene to create a more seamless transition between the different storylines and character interactions.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Sarah and Silberman to add depth to their conflict and make Sarah's desperation more palpable.
  • Integrate Officer X's search for John more organically into the narrative to maintain a consistent flow of events.
  • Provide a clearer connection between Terminator's pursuit of John and the unfolding events in the mall to build suspense and maintain audience engagement.
  • Focus on building tension and suspense by aligning the actions of John, Officer X, and Terminator in a more cohesive and interconnected manner.



Scene 8 - Corridor Showdown
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
44 INT. SERVICE CORRIDOR

John emerges through a firedoor into a long corridor with connects
to the parking garage. He's running full out, when around the corner
ahead of him comes...

TERMINATOR. Time stretches to nightmarish crawl as John tries to
brake to a stop. Terminator reaches into the box of roses.
SLOW MOTION. The cold back steel of the SHOTGUN emerges at the box
falls open, the roses spilling to the floor. TERMINATOR'S BOOT
crushes the flowers as it moves forward.

JOHN, transfixed by terror, is trapped in the narrow featureless
shooting gallery of the corridor. THE SHOTGUN COMES UP. Terminator
expressionlessly strides forward. Jacks a round into the chamber,
slow and fluid.

John looks behind him for a place to run. Sees the cop coming toward
him, pulling his Beretta pistol. Incredibly, John realizes the cop
is aiming his gun at him!
John looks back at Terminator. He is starting into the black muzzle
of the 10-gauge now. Aimed right at his head. He realizes he's
screwed. Then something crazy happens...

TERMINATOR
Get down.

John instinctively ducks. Terminator pulls the trigger. KABOOM!

THE COP catches the SHOTGUN'S BLAST square in the chest just as he
fires the pistol. The pistol's shot goes wild.

TERMINATOR pumps another round into him. The another. And another.
Advancing a step each time he fires, he empties the shotgun into the
cop, blowing his backward down the corridor. The sound is DEAFENING.
Then silence.

THE COP lies still on his back.

44A Terminator is now standing right over John. They both watch as the
cop, incredibly, sits up unharmed and gets to his feet. Terminator
grabs John roughly by his jacket. Clutches the kid to his chest
then spins around at the cop opens fire with the Beretta.

44B The "cop", who not only isn't a cop, he clearly isn't even human,
pulls the trigger so fast it almost seems like a machine-pistol.

ON TERMINATOR'S BACK, as the 9mm slugs slam into it, punching bloody
holes in the motorcycle jacket.

JOHN is bug-eyed with fear, but completely unscratched. Terminator's
body has blocked the bullets.

The Beretta CLACKS empty. Terminator turns at the sound.
Shoves John behind a Coke machine. Drops the empty shotgun. Starts
walking toward the "cop".
The empty magazine clatters to the floor.
The cop inserts another one. Snaps back the slide.
Terminator still has twenty feet to go.
He doesn't break his purposeful stride.

The cop opens fire. Bullets rake Terminator's chest. He doesn't
even flinch.
Ten feet to go. BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM! Neither the cop nor Terminator
show the slightest change in expression as the gun rips Terminator's
wardrobe to shreds.
CLACK. The pistol empties again. Terminator stops two feet in front
of the cop. The appraise each other for a second.

We realize now that the cop is a terminator too. We don't know the
details yet, but let's call him the T-1000 (since that's what he is).
A newer model than the one we've come to know so well (the 800
Series "Arnold"). This guy's a prototype... and he's got quite a
few surprises.

T-1000 AND TERMINATOR size each other up. Terminator moves first.
He grabs T-1000 in his massive hands but the T-1000 snaps back with a
counter-grip. After about two seconds of intense slamming, the walls
on both sides of the corridor have all the plaster smashed in, and
the two battling machines have blasted through the wall and
disappeared.

JOHN, totally stunned by all this, remembers to move. He staggers to
his feet. Stumble-runs toward the parking garage.

44C THIRD LEVEL CONCOURSE. A plate glass window EXPLODES and Terminator
crashes through to the tile floor like a sack of cement amid the
screaming crowd.

44D T-1000 turns without a word and heads back through the store after
John, accelerating slowly into a loping, predatory run.

44E Terminator is totally still. A JAPANESE TOURIST cautiously steps
forward and takes a picture of the body. Suddenly, Terminator's
eyes snap open. The stunned tourist backs away.

He sits up and looks around. Gets his bearings. Rises smoothly to
his feet. All servos seem to be working fine. The tourist's camera
whirs as the motor-drive runs on by itself, taking shot after show.
The owner isn't even looking through the eyepiece, he's so shocked.

45 INT. PARKING GARAGE

John is frantically pumping the kick-start of his bike, scared
shitless and the damned thing won't start. His hands are shaking so
badly he can't find the choke. He looks up to see --
The T-1000 running down the corridor toward him.
John fumbles with the choke. The bike catches. He slams it in gear
and spins the bike out into the main aisle of the garage.

John looks back... the T-1000 is behind him, running. He twists the
throttle and guns the little bike forward. Incredibly, the T-1000
is gaining. This nightmare isn't happening. John races out the exit
ramp, and charges right into the street.

46 EXT. STREET

John shoots into the busy traffic. Cuts off a BIG-RIG TOW TRUCK.
The DRIVER swears. Hits his air horn. What the driver doesn't see
is the cop, running faster than O.J. Simpson at the airport, who
emerges onto the street and runs back at his truck.

46A IN THE TRUCK. The driver hears a thump as something slams against his
door, then feels himself pulled right out. T-1000 slides in and
takes his place. The truck is still rolling along about 25 mph.
T-1000 accelerates after John without missing a beat. It can see him,
up ahead, weaving through traffic.

46B Out of the garage entrance, Terminator roars onto the street on the
Harley.
He accelerates after the others.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense corridor encounter, John confronts two Terminators. Terminator emerges with a shotgun, protecting John from T-1000, a liquid metal Terminator that impersonated a cop. T-1000's bullets prove ineffective, leading to a fierce battle through a wall. Amidst the chaos, John escapes to the parking garage, pursued by T-1000 in a tow truck and Terminator on a motorcycle.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • High-stakes conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Minimal dialogue
Critique
  • The scene is filled with intense action and suspense, which keeps the audience engaged.
  • The use of slow motion adds to the tension and highlights the imminent danger faced by John.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a clear picture of the chaotic and high-stakes situation.
  • The introduction of the T-1000 as a new terminator model adds an element of surprise and intrigue to the scene.
  • The conflict between Terminator and the T-1000 is well-executed, showcasing their strength and resilience.
  • The scene effectively conveys the relentless pursuit and danger faced by John, creating a sense of urgency and desperation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for John to further connect with the audience and enhance the character development.
  • Provide more context or background information on the T-1000 and its capabilities to build anticipation and suspense.
  • Explore the dynamics between Terminator and the T-1000 in more depth to showcase their contrasting abilities and strategies.
  • Consider incorporating dialogue or interactions between John and Terminator to add depth to their relationship and highlight their teamwork.
  • Ensure the pacing remains consistent throughout the scene to maintain the tension and keep the audience invested in the action.



Scene 9 - The Chase
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
47 EXT. FLOOD CONTROL CHANNEL

John slides his bike down the service ramp faster than he's ever done
it before. He races along the bottom of the canal, turning into a
narrower tributary which has vertical sides.

He looks back. No sign of pursuit.
47A Suddenly he sees the sun blocked out by a great shadow.
The Kenworth tow-truck... big as a house, all chrome and roaring
diesel engine... crashes through the fence and launches itself right
into the center of the canal.

It crashes down, 15 feet to the ground, going about 60, hits at an
angle and tears into the concrete wall with a hideous grinding of
metal. It ricochets back and forth between the walls then, bellowing
like a gunshot stegosaurus, it just keep on plowing forward, gathering
speed.

47B John looks back and sees this wall of metal almost filling the narrow
concrete canal and he milks every last bit of throttle the little bike
has. The Kenworth is all muscle, tearing along the canal like a train
in a tunnel. Its big tires send up huge sheets of muddy spray,
backlit in the setting sun. It looks like some kind of demon. And...
it's gaining.

47C ABOVE THEM, on the service road running parallel, Terminator is
fighting to overtake them. He looks down and sees John with the tow-
truck from Hell catching up to him. It is only about twenty feet
behind him and still gaining.

47D ANGLE IN THE CANAL, looking back past a desperate John, at the wall
of metal filling frame behind him.

47E ABOVE, Terminator cuts the bike suddenly hard to the left, leaving the
road. Hitting an earth embankment just right, he jumps the bike into
the air like Steve McQueen in "The Great Escape" and vaults the fence
bordering the canal. It slams down at the edge of the canal and tears
along, inches from the drop-off on a dirt path, accelerating past the
truck in the canal below.

47F John hits some water and slews momentarily, loosing speed. The
massive push-plate on the front of the truck slams into his back
fender. Panicked, he pulls a little ahead. All this is happening at
about sixty miles and hour. Top speed for the little dirt bike.
47G SLOW MOTION as Terminator jumps the bike again. This time the 700-
pound Harley sails out into space and drops into the canal. It arcs
down between the truck and John, hitting on its wheels. It bottoms
out, an explosion of sparks under the frame. Only the ultra-fast
reflexes of a machine could keep the bike upright. Terminator fights
for control.

47H He guns the throttle and the powerful bike roars up beside John's tiny
Honda.
Terminator sweeps the kid off his machine with one arm and swings him
onto the Harley, in front of him. John's Honda weaves and falls,
smashing instantly under thundering tires.

The Harley roars ahead. It hits eighty. Ahead is an overpass, and
supporting it is an abutment which bisects the canal into two
channels. The Harley thunders into one channel, which is essentially
a short tunnel.

47I The truck can't fit on either side. Neither can it stop, at that
speed. Tires locked, it slides on the muddy concrete and piles into
the concrete abutment at seventy.

47J Terminator and John emerge from the tunnel, looking back to see a
fireball blasting through behind them as the truck's side-tanks
explode.

Terminator stops the Harley. John peers around his body to see the
destruction. A burning wheel wobbles out of the tunnel and flops in
the mud. Terminator revs the bike and they roar away, down the canal,
disappearing around a bend.

47K ANGLE ON THE FIRE, as a column of black smoke rises from the overpass.
Smoke boils from the tunnel as well, and inside it is a solid wall of
flame. A figure appears in the fire.
Just an outline. Walking slowly... calmly.
The figure emerges from the flames.

It is human-shaped but far from human. A smooth chrome man. Not a
servo-mechanism like Terminator is underneath, with its complex
hydraulics and cables... this thing is a featureless, liquid chrome
surface, bending seamlessly at knees and elbows as it walks. It
reminds us of mercury. A mercury man. Its face is simple, unformed.
Unruffled by thousand-degree heat, it walks toward us.

With each step detail returns.
First the shape and lines of its clothing emerge from the liquid
chrome surface, then finer details... buttons, facial features,
ears...

47K But it's still al chrome. With its last step, the color returns to
everything. It is the cop again... handsome young face, blond hair,
mustache. Icy eyes. It stops and looks around.

It is a perfect chameleon. A liquid metal robot. A killing machine
with the ultimate skills of mimicry for infiltration of human society.

47L ANGLE NEARBY, as several police cruisers and a fire truck pull up.
T-1000 climbs out of the canal behind them. More cops arrive. T-1000
blends in perfectly. There are always cops at diasters and scenes of
violence. We now see why its choice of protective mimicry is so
perfect.

It walks among the other cops unnoticed.
Gets into one of the squad cars. Starts it and drives away.

48 EXT. SIDE STREET - NIGHT

Terminator, with John in front of him on the Harley, roars down the
empty street. John cranes his neck around to get a look at the
person/thing he is riding with. The image is strangely reminiscent
of father/son, out for an evening ride.

John is still in shock from the experience of what just happened and
he's just a ten-year kid, but he's also John Connor who will someday
rise to greatness, and we see a bit of that in him even know.

JOHN
Whoa... time out. Stop the bike!

Terminator immediately complies. He leans the bike into a turn.
They head into a nearby alley.

49 EXT. ALLEY

Terminator and John rolls into the alley and come to a stop. John
slides off the gas tank. Terminator impassively stares at him. John
checks him out. Tentatively speaks.

JOHN
Now don't take this the wrong way, but you are
a terminator, right?

TERMINATOR
Yes. Cyberdyne Systems, Model 101.

JOHN
No way!

John touches Terminator's skin. Then the blood on his jacket.
His mind overloads as the reality of it hits him.

JOHN
Holy shit... you're really real! I mean...
whoah!
(stepping back)
You're, uh... like a machine underneath, right...
but sort of alive outside?

TERMINATOR
I'm a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over
a metal endoskeleton.

JOHN
This in intense. Get a grip, John. Okay, uh...
you're not here to kill me... I figured that part
out for myself. So what's the deal?
TERMINATOR
My mission is to protect you.

JOHN
Yeah? Who sent you?

TERMINATOR
You did. Thirty years from now you reprogrammed
me to be your protector here, in this time.

John gives him an amazed look.

JOHN
This is deep.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary John Connor is pursued by a Kenworth tow truck through a narrow concrete canal. Terminator arrives on a Harley and rescues John, destroying the tow truck. John initially fears Terminator but eventually accepts him as his protector.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Revelation of key plot points
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be confusing for viewers unfamiliar with the Terminator franchise
Critique
  • The scene starts with a high-octane action sequence involving John racing down a narrow concrete canal with a massive tow-truck in pursuit. The description of the tow-truck crashing through the fence and into the canal is vivid and sets the tone for the intense chase.
  • The use of slow-motion to highlight Terminator's actions adds a dynamic element to the scene and enhances the tension as he jumps the Harley to rescue John from the oncoming tow-truck.
  • The visual imagery of the tow-truck as a 'demon' and Terminator's heroic actions to save John are well-crafted and create a sense of urgency and danger.
  • The scene effectively showcases the capabilities of the characters, with Terminator displaying his superhuman reflexes and John's quick thinking in a life-threatening situation.
  • The transition from the intense action of the chase to the aftermath of the explosion and the calm moment between Terminator and John provides a nice contrast and allows for a brief respite before the next set of events.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for John during the chase to deepen his character development and provide insight into his mindset during the high-stakes situation.
  • Explore the relationship between John and Terminator further by incorporating dialogue that delves into their growing bond and mutual trust.
  • Enhance the description of the setting to create a more immersive experience for the reader, focusing on sensory details to bring the canal chase to life.
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection or introspection for Terminator after the intense action sequence to humanize his character and show his evolving understanding of his mission to protect John.
  • Ensure a smooth transition to the next scene by wrapping up any loose ends or unresolved conflicts from the canal chase to maintain the narrative flow.



Scene 10 - Deadly Deception
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
50 EXT. STREET - NIGHT

John and Terminator on the bike again, weaving through the side
streets. They blend into the evening traffic. In the darkness,
Terminator's wounds are not readily visible. John cranes his head up
and back.

JOHN
So this other guy? He's a terminator too,
right, like you?

TERMINATOR
Not like me. A T-1000. Advanced prototype.
A mimetic polyalloy.

JOHN
What does that mean?

TERMINATOR
Liquid metal.

JOHN
Radical.

TERMINATOR
You are targeted for termination. The T-1000
will not stop until it complete its mission.
Ever.

John mulls that over.

JOHN
Where we going?

TERMINATOR
We have to leave the city, immediately. And
avoid the authorities.

JOHN
Can I stop by my house?
TERMINATOR
Negative. The T-1000 will definitely try to
reacquire you there.

JOHN
You sure?

TERMINATOR
I would.

CUT TO:

51 EXT. PAYPHONE

John is quickly going through his pockets for change. He has plenty
of bills but no quarters.

JOHN
Look, Todd and Janelle are dicks but I gotta
warn them. Shit! You got a quarter?

Terminator reaches past John and smashes the cover plate off the
phone's cash box with the heel of his hand. A shower of change
tumbles out. Terminator hands one to John. John dials.

52 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Janelle Voight picks up the kitchen phone and cradles it with her
shoulder which she continues to chop vegetables with a large knife.
She answers sweetly.

JANELLE
Hello?

JOHN
(filtered through phone)
Janelle? It's me.

In the backyard, John's German Shepherd is going bonkers, barking at
something.

JANELLE
John? Where are you, honey? It's late. You
should come home, dear. I'm making a casserole.

AT THE PAYPHONE. John listens, an odd look on his face. He covers
the phone's mouthpiece and turns to Terminator.

JOHN
(whispering)
Something's wrong. She's never this nice.

IN THE VOIGHTS' KITCHEN. Todd comes through the kitchen's back door.
Just home from work. He ignores Janelle and opens the fridge. Grabs
a carton of milk. Takes a sip. Frowns at the dog's barking.
TODD
What the hell's the goddamn dog barking at?
SHUT UP, YOU MUTT!

TIGHT ON JANELLE as Todd growls around the kitchen behind her. He
passes OUT OF FRAME next to her. Janelle switches the phone to her
other hand then... THUNK! Her free hand seems to do something out of
frame. There is a gurgling, and the sound of liquid dribbling onto
the floor. (Don't go away. We'll find out what happened in a moment)

AT THE PAYPHONE

JOHN
The dog's really barking. Maybe it's already
there. What should I do?

Terminator takes the phone from John's hand. Janelle's voice is
floating through the receiver.

JANELLE
(filtered)
John? John, are you okay?

Terminator speaks into the phone in a perfect imitation of John's
voice...

TERMINATOR
(in John's voice)
I'm right here. I'm fine.
(to John, a whisper)
What's the dog's name?

JOHN
Max.

Terminator nods. Speaks into the phone.

TERMINATOR
Hey, Janelle, what's wrong with Wolfy? I can
hear him barking. Is he okay?

JANELLE
(filtered)
Wolfy's fine, honey. Where are you?

Terminator unceremoniously hangs up the phone. Turns to John.

TERMINATOR
Your foster parents are dead. Let's go.

Terminator heads for the bike. John, shocked, stares after him.

53 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE/KITCHEN

Janelle hangs up the phone. Her expression is neutral. Calm.

PAN OVER along her arm, which is stretched out straight from the
shoulder. Partway along its length her arm has turned smoothly into
something else... a metal cylinder which tapers into a sword-like
spike. Now we see Todd Voight PINNED TO A KITCHEN CABINET by the
spike which has punched through his milk carton, through his mouth
and exits the back of his head into the cabinet door. His eyes are
glassy and lifeless.

The spike is withdrawn -- SWIISHHTT! -- so rapidly, Todd is actually
standing there a second before he slumps out of sight. THUMP.
53A Janelle doesn't bat an eye as the spike smoothly changes shape and
color, transforming back into a hand, and then...

53B JANELLE CHANGES rapidly into the COP we now know as the T-1000. The
change has liquid quality. T-1000 opens the back door.

54 EXT. VOIGHT HOUSE/BACKYARD - NIGHT

T-1000 approaches the big German Shepherd, which slinks away from it,
barking in fear. T-1000 walk right into CLOSE UP. Reaches down, OUT
OF FRAME. We hear that sickening THUNK followed by a shrill YELP.
Then T-1000's hand snaps up INTO FRAME holding a bloody dog collar.
The tag reads "MAX".
T-1000 nods thoughtfully. Heads back to the house.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary John and the Terminator discuss the T-1000's capabilities and decide to leave the city. John calls his foster parents but realizes something is amiss. The Terminator reveals they are dead and confronts John with the truth. Meanwhile, the T-1000, disguised as a police officer, kills John's foster parents and dog.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too dark or intense for sensitive viewers
Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and suspense as John and Terminator discuss the T-1000 and the imminent danger he faces.
  • The interaction between John and Terminator reveals more about the advanced capabilities of the T-1000 and the urgency of their situation.
  • The shift in tone from John's curiosity about the T-1000 to the realization of the imminent threat is well executed.
  • The scene effectively sets up the conflict and stakes for the upcoming events, creating a sense of urgency and danger.
  • The revelation of John's foster parents' fate adds a shocking and impactful twist to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to John's reaction to the news about his foster parents' death to further enhance the impact of the revelation.
  • Explore the dynamic between John and Terminator further to showcase their evolving relationship and the challenges they face together.
  • Enhance the visual and auditory cues to heighten the tension and suspense in the scene, especially during the phone call with Janelle and the subsequent reveal of the T-1000.
  • Consider adding more internal conflict for John as he grapples with the decision to leave his house despite the danger, adding layers to his character development.
  • Ensure a seamless transition between the different elements of the scene, maintaining a cohesive narrative flow and pacing.



Scene 11 - The T-1000's Abilities and Clues from the Past
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
55 EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Dark. Off a quiet street. Terminator stands near the Harley,
watching John pace before him. John's brain is calling time-out.
This is all too weird.

JOHN
I need a minute here, okay? You're telling me
it can imitate anything it touches?

TERMINATOR
Anything it samples by physical contact.

John thinks about that, trying to grasp their opponent's parameters.

JOHN
Like it could disguise itself as anything...
a pack of cigarettes?

TERMINATOR
No. Only an object of equal size.

John's still reeling from meeting one terminator, which now seems
downright conventional next to the exotic new model.

JOHN
Well, why doesn't become a bomb or something to
get me?

TERMINATOR
It can't form complex machines. Guns and
explosives have chemicals, moving parts. It
doesn't work that way. But it can form solid
metal shapes.
56 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE - NIGHT

T-1000 walks down the dark hall. It passes the bathroom and we see
the real Janelle's legs through the half-open door. The shower is
running. Her blood mixes with water on the white tile floor.

56A In John's bedroom the T-1000 begins searching methodically in the
dark.
Calmly and dispassionately ripping the room apart for any clues that
could lead it to its target. T-1000 finds a box of audio cassettes
marked "Messages from Mom". In it are some letters, and envelopes
filled with snapshots. It begins looking through some of the
photos...

SHOT OF JOHN AND SARAH during the missing years. Sarah in olive
cammos with an RPG 7 grenade launcher, teaching John how to aim.
Sarah with a group of military-clad Guatemalan men, standing next to
cases of Stinger missiles. John and Sarah in a Contra camp, deep in
the mountains.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary John learns about the T-1000's shapeshifting powers, leading him to question its limits. Meanwhile, the T-1000 discreetly searches John's room, uncovering a box of personal items that shed light on Sarah and John's previous travels.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Revealing new and intriguing plot elements
  • Building tension and suspense effectively
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too intense for sensitive viewers
  • Limited focus on character development in favor of plot progression
Critique
  • The scene starts with a good setup of John trying to process the information about the T-1000's abilities, but it could benefit from more emotional depth to show John's fear and confusion.
  • The dialogue between John and the Terminator is informative but lacks a sense of urgency or tension considering the gravity of the situation.
  • The transition to the T-1000 searching John's bedroom is well executed, creating a sense of impending danger and raising the stakes.
  • The visuals of the T-1000 methodically searching the room and finding the box of audio cassettes are effective in building suspense and showcasing the T-1000's relentless nature.
  • The flashback snapshots of Sarah and John during the missing years add depth to their characters and provide context for their past struggles and bond.
Suggestions
  • Add more emotional depth to John's reaction to the T-1000's abilities to heighten the tension and make the scene more engaging.
  • Consider adding more urgency and intensity to the dialogue between John and the Terminator to reflect the imminent danger they are facing.
  • Explore ways to visually enhance the scene, perhaps by incorporating suspenseful music or utilizing lighting to create a more ominous atmosphere.
  • Continue to build on the suspense by showing the T-1000's search in a more dynamic and threatening manner, emphasizing its relentless pursuit of John.
  • Utilize the flashback snapshots effectively to provide insight into Sarah and John's past while maintaining the tension of the present situation.



Scene 12 - John Confronts Terminator's Power
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
57 EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

John is now sitting on the curb, lost in stunned thought. Terminator
stands above him, watching the street like a Doberman. He glances
down at John.

JOHN
We spent a lot of time in Nicaragua... places
like that. For a while she was with this crazy
ex-Green Beret guy, running guns. Then there
were some other guys. She'd shack up with
anybody she could learn from. So then she
could teach me how to be this great military
leader. Then she gets busted and it's like...
sorry kid, your mom's a psycho. Didn't you
know? It's like... everything I'd been brought
up to believe was just made-up fantasy, right?
I hated her for that.
(he looks up)
But everything she said was true.
(he stands)
We gotta get her out of there.

TERMINATOR
Negative. The T-1000's highest probability for
success now would be to copy Sarah Connor and
wait for you to make contact with her.

JOHN
Oh, great. And what happens to her?

Terminator's reply is matter-of-fact.

TERMINATOR
Typically, the subject being copied is
terminated.
JOHN
TERMINATED!? Shit! Why didn't you tell me?
We gotta right now!

TERMINATOR
Negative. She is not a mission priority.

JOHN
Yeah, well fuck you, she's a priority to me!

John strides away. Terminator goes after him and grabs him arm.
John struggles against the grip. Which doesn't do him much good.

JOHN
Hey, goddammit! What's your problem?

Starts dragging John back to the bike. John spots a couple of
collage-age slab-o-meat JOCK-TYPES across the street and starts
yelling to them.

JOHN
Help! HELP!! I'm being kidnapped! Get this
psycho off of me!

The TWO JOCKS start toward him. John yells in outrage to Terminator.

JOHN
Let go of me!!

To his surprise, Terminator's hand opens so fast John falls right on
his butt.
He looks up at the open hand.

JOHN
Oww! Why'd you do that?

TERMINATOR
You told me to.

John stares at him in amazement as he realizes...

JOHN
You have to do what I say?!

TERMINATOR
That is one of my mission parameters.

JOHN
Prove it... stand on one foot.

Terminator expressionlessly lifts one leg.
John grins. He's the first on his block...

JOHN
Cool! My own terminator. This is great!
The two guys get there and look at Terminator standing there calmly
with one leg up in the air. This big guy in black leather and dark
glasses, standing like a statue.

FIRST JOCK
Hey, kid. You okay?

John turns to him. No longer needing to be rescued.

JOHN
Take a hike, bozo.

FIRST JOCK
Yeah? Fuck you, you little dipshit.

JOHN
Dipshit? Did you say dipshit?!
(to Terminator)
Grab this guy.

Terminator complies instantly, hoisting him one-handed by the collar.
the guy's legs are pinwheeling.

JOHN
Now who's the dipshit, you jock douchebag?

Immediately, things get out of hand. The guy's friend jumps behind
Terminator and tries to grab him in a full nelson --
Terminator throws the first guy across the hood of a car --
Grabs the second by the hair, whips out his .45 in a quick blur, and
aims the muzzle at the guy's forehead.
John grabs Terminator's arm with a yell as he pulls the trigger --
John's weight is just enough to deflect the gun a few inches. The
guy flinches, stunned by the K-BOOM next to his ear. He stares,
shocked. Pissing himself. John is freaking out, too.
He screams at Terminator.

JOHN
Put the gun down! NOW!!

Terminator sets the .45 on the sidewalk. John scoops it up fast then
turns to the shocked civilians, who can't believe what just happened.

JOHN
Walk away.

They do. Fast. John grabs Terminator by the arm and tugs him toward
the bike. John still holds the gun, reluctant to give it back.

JOHN
Jesus... you were gonna kill that guy!

TERMINATOR
Of course. I'm a terminator.

John stares at him. Having your own terminator just became a little
bit less fun to him.
JOHN
Listen to me, very carefully, okay? You're not
a terminator any more. Alright? You got that?
You can't just go around killing people!

TERMINATOR
Why?

JOHN
Whattaya mean, why? 'Cause you can't!

TERMINATOR
Why?

JOHN
You just can't, okay? Trust me on this.

Terminator doesn't get it. John just stares at him. Frightened at
what just almost happened. He gets a glimpse of the responsibility
that comes with power. Finally he hands the .45 back to Terminator,
who puts it away.

JOHN
Look, I'm gonna go get my mom. You wanna come
along, that's fine with me.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Drama"]

Summary In a tense parking lot confrontation, John and Terminator witness suspicious men. John's call for help leads to a fight with Terminator's intervention. Horrified by Terminator's violent actions, John orders him to cease killing. Terminator complies, prompting John to realize the gravity of power. John declares Terminator's purpose has changed, forbidding him from taking lives.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • Moral dilemmas
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Potential for excessive violence
  • Complex moral themes may be challenging for some viewers to follow
Critique
  • The scene starts with John reflecting on his past and his complicated relationship with his mother, Sarah Connor. This introspection adds depth to John's character and provides insight into his emotional journey.
  • The interaction between John and the Terminator showcases their evolving dynamic, with John asserting his own priorities and the Terminator following his commands. This dynamic shift is intriguing and sets up potential conflicts and growth for both characters.
  • The escalation of the situation with the jock-types adds tension and action to the scene, but the sudden violence and use of a gun may feel jarring or out of character for John, especially considering his age and background.
  • The moment where John realizes he has control over the Terminator and tests this power is a pivotal moment in their relationship. It highlights the theme of power and responsibility, which is a crucial aspect of the Terminator franchise.
  • The scene ends with John trying to assert his moral values on the Terminator, emphasizing the importance of not killing people. This moral dilemma sets up a compelling conflict for both characters moving forward.
Suggestions
  • Consider toning down the sudden escalation of violence with the jock-types to align better with John's character and age. Perhaps explore alternative ways for John to assert his authority over the situation.
  • Further explore the emotional impact on John after the near-violent encounter, delving into his internal struggle with the power he wields over the Terminator.
  • Develop the theme of power and responsibility by continuing to challenge John and the Terminator's understanding of morality and ethics throughout the script.
  • Ensure that the dialogue and actions of the characters remain consistent with their established personalities and arcs, especially when dealing with complex moral dilemmas.
  • Consider adding moments of reflection or introspection for the Terminator to showcase his evolving understanding of human values and emotions.



Scene 13 - Sarah Connor's Escape
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
58 INT. VOIGHT HOUSE/BEDROOM - NIGHT

T-1000 finds an envelope... a letter from Sarah to John sent since
she's been at Pescadero State Hospital. It reads the return address
on the envelope. It has what it needs. It picks up a tape player
and the battered shoebox full of Sarah's tapes and exits.

CUT TO:

59 CLOSE ON A BLACK & WHITE PHOTOGRAPH. The image is a nightmare from
the past. It is a surveillance camera still-frame from the L.A.
police station where the first terminator made such an impression in
1984. We see the blurry forms of the cop frozen in the emergency
lights of a burning corridor.

A black-clad figure stands at the end of the corridor. The guy has
short-cropped hair and dark glasses. An AR-80 assault rifle in one
hand, and a 12-gauge in the other -- holding them both like toy
pistols.
ANOTHER PHOTO is slapped on top of the first. Another still-frame
blow-up is placed over the last. Terminator looms in CLOSEUP.

DETECTIVE WEATHERSBY (O.S.)
These were taken at the West Highland police
station in 1984. You were there.

WIDER. We're in --
59A INT. INTERVIEW ROOM/PESCADERO - NIGHT

The photos are lying on the table in front of Sarah, placed there by
DETECTIVE WEATHERSBY. His partner DET. MOSSBERG, and Dr. Silberman,
sit at the table as well. Two uniformed cops, plus Douglas, stand by
the door. Sarah stares listlessly at the top photo. She's
withdrawn, haggard... drugged-looking.

MOSSBERG
He killed seventeen police officers that night.
Recognize him?

Weathersby slaps another black-and-white eight-by-ten on the table.
A closeup of Terminator taken by the Japanese tourist at the mall.
It's the same face.

MOSSBERG
This one was taken by a Japanese tourist today.

Sarah doesn't react. It's hard to tell she's thinking. Whether she's
up hope or is just in a drugged stupor.

WEATHERSBY
Ms. Connor, you've been told that your son's
missing. His foster parents have been murdered,
and we know this guy's involved. Talk to us.
Don't you care?

Sarah stares up at him. A cold and empty stare. He glances at
Silberman.
Then at his partner.

MOSSBERG
We're wasting out time.

One of the uniformed cops opens the door and Mossberg strides into
the hall. Weathersby and the two uniforms follow him out, with
Silberman right behind.

SILBERMAN
Sorry, gentleman...

TIGHT ON SARAH, slumped under the bright lights. Totally out of it.
Then we see her hand, creeping along the edge of the table toward the
stack of photos. She slips off the paper clip binding the stills
together, and hides it between her fingers. Douglas jerks her up by
the arms and leads her out.

CUT TO:

60 INT. SARAH'S CELL

Douglas inches up the last of Sarah's restraints. Then her leans
over her... looking down. Even wrecked as she is, we see the beauty
in her face. He bends down. We think he's going to kiss her.
Instead he runs his tongue across her face like a dog would. She
seems not to even see him. Her dull eyes past him. He can't
provoke a reaction. Even here, strapped down, the two of them alone,
she give him no superiority. He smirks and leaves. We hear the
sound of his night-stick tapping its way down the corridor, growing
fainter.

Sarah's eyes snap suddenly alert. There is intensity and resolve in
them. She slips the paper clip out from between her fingers and
awkwardly spreads it open into a straight piece of wire. With slow,
painful concentration she moves it toward the lock of the restraints
that bind her wrists to the bed at her sides.

CUT TO:

61 EXT. ROAD - NIGHT

Terminator and John charge through the night on the Harley.
Streetlights flare past them like comets. Two serious guys with a
mission. One a ten-year old kid, the other a half-man/half-machine
cyborg from the post-Apocalyptic future.

CUT TO:

62 INT. SARAH'S CELL

TIGHT ON RESTRAINT LOCK as it unlatches... successfully picked by
Sarah's paper clip. This is not an easy thing to do. But Sarah
taught herself a lot of things in her years of hiding.

SARAH, her hands free, sits up and releases the Velcro straps on her
feet. She rolls off the bed and we see her in a whole new light.
She is totally alert, almost feral in her movements.

CUT TO:

63 EXT. HOSPITAL ENTRANCE

GUARD SHACK. A bored security guard glances up as an LAPD black-and-
white pulls up. He raises the barricade and nods at the T-1000/cop
as it passes.

THE CRUISER pulls in next to the other police vehicles. The T-1000
walks toward the main entrance.

CUT TO:

64 INT. SARAH'S CELL/CORRIDOR

Sarah is using the paper clip on the door lock. She hears an echoing
tapping sound. It's getting louder, coming her way. She goes back
to work on the lock.

65 IN THE CORRIDOR. Douglas the attendant is tapping his stick along
the wall like he does every night on his rounds. He shines a little
mag-light in the windows of the cells as he passes, barely slowing.

65A He rounds the corner. His footsteps echo in the dark hallway.
The tip of the stick hits the wall.
Tap, tap, tap... getting closer to Sarah's cell. He stops at the
door. He is about to shine his light in when he notices that a
utility closet across the hall is open. He goes to shut it,
absently flicking his light into the dark closet. He notices
something strange among the buckets and cleaning supplies. A mop lies
on the floor, with its handle snapped off about halfway up. The
other half is missing.

Douglas ponders this for half a second, then hears a SOUND behind him
and spins around. The sound he heard was Sarah's cell door.
The missing two feet of MOP HANDLE fill his vision as it CRACKS
viciously across the bridge of his nose.

250 pounds of doughy attendant hit the floor like a sack of cement.
Sarah slams the makeshift baton down expertly across the back of his
head, bouncing him off the linoleum. Lights out, Douglas.
She drags him into her cell and locks him in with his own keys. Then
swaps her mop-handle for his nice heavy night-stick.

65B Sarah moves down the dark corridor, cat-stepping in her bare feet.
She holds the baton like a pro, laid back along the forearm, police-
style. She looks dangerous.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah Connor escapes her cell at Pescadero State Hospital, while the T-1000, disguised as a police officer, retrieves her address and approaches the hospital. Sarah prepares to confront the T-1000 with a nightstick.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Intense action sequences
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too intense for sensitive viewers
Critique
  • The scene transitions abruptly from the T-1000 finding the envelope to Sarah in her cell picking the lock, which can be a bit disorienting for the audience.
  • The dialogue between Detective Weathersby and Sarah lacks depth and emotion, making it difficult for the audience to connect with Sarah's internal struggles.
  • The visual description of Sarah picking the lock and freeing herself could be more detailed to enhance the tension and suspense of the scene.
  • The transition from Sarah's escape to Terminator and John riding through the night on the Harley feels disjointed and could benefit from a smoother segue.
  • The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and stakes, especially considering Sarah's escape and the T-1000's presence in the hospital.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a smoother transition between the T-1000 finding the envelope and Sarah picking the lock to improve the flow of the scene.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Detective Weathersby and Sarah to delve deeper into Sarah's emotional state and internal conflict.
  • Provide more vivid and detailed visuals of Sarah's escape to heighten the tension and suspense of the scene.
  • Work on creating a stronger connection between the different elements of the scene to maintain a cohesive narrative and sense of urgency.
  • Consider adding more stakes and consequences to the scene to increase the tension and keep the audience engaged.



Scene 14 - The Infiltration
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
66 INT. HOSPITAL ENTRANCE/CORRIDOR

A long corridor ends at a reception area, which is closed, and a
NIGHT RECEIVING DESK, which is a glass window where they can buzz you
in through a heavy door. A NIGHT NURSE types at a desk nearby. She
looks up at the sound of footsteps and sees a young cop (T-1000)
walking toward her.

T-1000
You have a Sarah Connor here?

She assumes he's with the other cops. Smiles.

NIGHT NURSE
Running late, aren't you?

She turns to the inner door to buzz him in and sees Silberman and the
cops coming toward the door from the other side.

NIGHT NURSE
Your friends are on their way out now...

When she turns back to the window, T-1000's no longer there. She
goes to the counter and leans out to see if he's at the drinking
fountain or someplace. No. Reception is empty. And so is the long
corridor beyond. She frowns. Too weird.

66A Silberman comes through the solenoid door with Mossberg and
Weathersby, the two uniformed cops, and the hospital security guard.
The guard retrieves his 9mm pistol from a lock-out box behind the
night desk. Silberman faces him.

SILBERMAN
Lewis, see these gentleman out and them lock
up for the night.
The security guard nods. Silberman goes back into the secure area of
the hospital and the cops walk down the long corridor to the main
doors. No sign of T-1000. Mossberg and the other cops exit, and
the guard locks the door behind them.

66B The guard walks slowly back along the long corridor. The hall is
dark, with the light at the night desk far ahead like a sanctuary.
His footsteps ring hollowly on the tile floor. His keys jingle.

66C ANGLE ON FLOOR as the guard's feet pass through FRAME. An instant
later the floor starts to move.
It shivers and bulges upward like a liquid mass, still retaining the
two-tone checkerboard of the tile. It hunches up silently into a
quivering shadow in the darkness past the guard.

66D Up ahead we hear typing. The night nurse has her back to us, working.
The guard stops as the drinking fountain. Bends to take a sip.
Behind him the fluid mass as reaches six feet of height and begins to
resolve rapidly into a human figure. It loses the color and texture
of the tile and becomes... THE GUARD.

T-1000's mass has been spread out a quarter of an inch thick over
several square yards of floor. The guard walked over the T-1000, and
his structure was sampled that instant. Now we see it drawing in and
pulling up to form the figure of the guard.

The T-1000/Guard's feet are the last to form, the last of the "liquid
floor" pulling in to form shiny black guard shoes. The shoes detach
with a faint sucking sound from the real floor as the T-1000/Guard
takes its first step.

66E The real guard spins at the sound of footsteps to see... himself.
He has one deeply disturbing moment to consider the ramifications of
that. Then he sees his double calmly raise its hand and,
inexplicably, points his right index finger directly at the real
guard's face, about a foot away. In a split second, the finger
spears out, elongating into a thin steel rod which snaps out like a
stiletto, slamming into the guard's eye.
It punches into the corner of the eye, past the eyeball like a trans-
orbital lobotomy tool, and emerges from the back of the guard's skull.

Life quietly empties from the guard's face. He is dead weight,
hanging from the rod/finger with suddenly reacts -- SSSNICK. As the
guard slumps, the T-1000 takes his weight easily with one hand and
walks him, like it's carrying a suit on a hanger, back toward the
night desk. The wounds are so tiny, no blood drips onto the floor.

66F ON THE NIGHT NURSE, glancing up as the T-1000/Guard walks past,
dragging something casually which she can't see because it's below
the countertop.

NIGHT NURSE
Whatcha got, Lewis?

T-1000/GUARD
Just some trash.
She nods, uninterested. Keeps typing. T-1000 moves past, dragging
the unseen guard toward a closet down the hall from the night
receiving station. T-1000/Guard removes the Browning High-Power
pistol and the keys from the real guard's belt, then stuffs the body
into the utility closet.

66G INT. CORRIDOR/NIGHT RECEIVING DESK

T-1000/Guard comes back out and glances at the nurse.

T-1000/GUARD
All set.

She glances toward it. Sees the Beretta in its holster.

NIGHT NURSE
Gotta check the gun first, Lewis.

T-1000/GUARD
Yeah, sorry.

T-1000 opens the locker and blocks it from her view with its body as
it mimes putting the gun in.

66H CLOSE ANGLE ON T-1000'S CHEST, from inside the locker. Instead of
setting the gun in the locker, it inserts the pistol into it own
chest, where is disappears inside like it was dropped into a pot of
hot fudge. It withdraws its hand. The chest is once again a surface
that looks like cloth, buttons, name-tag etc. You'd ever guess it was
really an intelligent liquid metal.

T-1000 slams the locker door and waits as the nurse hits the button
unlocking the door with a BUZZ-CLACK. T-1000/Guard goes through.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary A police officer, later revealed to be the liquid metal robot T-1000, arrives at a hospital searching for Sarah Connor. The night nurse mistakes him for one of the other officers who had already left. As the night nurse leaves, the T-1000 kills a security guard and takes his place. Using the guard's uniform and keys, T-1000 gains access to the hospital, leaving the true killer's fate unknown.
Strengths
  • Intense action
  • Suspenseful atmosphere
  • Innovative concept
Weaknesses
  • Minimal character development
  • Limited dialogue
Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and suspense through the use of a dark, empty hospital setting and the mysterious actions of the T-1000.
  • The visual descriptions of the T-1000's liquid metal abilities are vivid and engaging, creating a sense of unease and danger.
  • The scene effectively conveys the T-1000's ruthless and efficient nature through its actions, such as mimicking the guard and swiftly dispatching him.
  • The dialogue is minimal but impactful, with the T-1000's calm demeanor contrasting with the escalating tension of the scene.
  • The scene effectively sets up the T-1000's infiltration and establishes a sense of impending danger for the characters involved.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or reactions from the Night Nurse to enhance the sense of unease and suspense in the scene.
  • Explore the emotional impact of the guard's death on the Night Nurse to further highlight the ruthlessness of the T-1000.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the reader in the dark and eerie atmosphere of the hospital setting.
  • Add a brief moment of reflection or reaction from the T-1000 after successfully infiltrating the hospital to further establish its calculated and methodical nature.
  • Consider adding a subtle hint or foreshadowing of the T-1000's next move to build anticipation for the upcoming conflict.



Scene 15 - Hospital Infiltration and Subduing
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
67 INT. ISOLATION SECURITY CHECKPOINT

A small room before a short SALLY-PORT corridor designed to prevent
violent inmates from making a run for it. There are doors at each
end. The first one is barred like a jail-cell door, and the second
is a steel fire door. The attendants have a video monitor with which
they can see the corridor on the other side of the doors.

The two bored attendants barely notice the T-1000/Guard as it
approaches. Looks briefly at a chart next to the door, seeing
SARAH CONNOR is in #19.

67A IN THE ISOLATION WARD, the T-1000 passes a nurses' station which looks
a cage, walled in by heavy metal mesh. Silberman, leaning in the open
doorway, is talking to an attendant in the cage. He doesn't glance
twice at Lewis the Guard passing by.

68 SARAH, moving like a ghost in the darkened corridor, hears footsteps
coming and quietly but quickly unlocks a cell next to her with
Douglas' master key.
68A She slips into the cell and waits as the footsteps pass.
We glimpse the T-1000/Guard pass the window.
She waits as the footsteps fade away. She looks over. A female
inmate, strapped to a bed, watches her with bird-like eyes. She puts
a finger to her lips -- SSHHH. The inmate nods. Sarah exits.

68B POV MOVING TOWARD nurse's station. We hear Silberman's voice,
reviewing medication with the night attendant.

ON SILBERMAN, yawning, looking at his watch.
He turns to go... Sarah is there.
She slams into him, hurling him through the door into the cage and
follows him in. The orderly jumps up, going for his stunner, but she
nails him with Douglas' baton. WHAP-WHAP-WHAP! You can barely see
the thing she's swinging it so fast. The guys goes down.

Silberman lunges for the alarm button and she cracks down hard on his
arm. He cries out and grabs his wrist.
She grabs him by the hair and slams him face down on the desk,
smacking him behind the knees expertly with the baton.
His legs buckle and he drops to his knees with his chin on the desk.
She pins him with one hand. He face is full of outraged disbelief.

SILBERMAN
You broke my arm!

SARAH
There's 215 bones in the human body, motherfucker.
That's one. Now don't move!

68B Moving rapidly, she whips open a medication drawer and grabs a
syringe.
They keep a few of these handy for tranking unruly patients. She
jams it into the orderly's butt and fires the whole shot. Still
holding the empty syringe, she sees what she need next.
They keep the toxic cleaning supplies in here to keep the inmates from
drinking Drano. She grabs a plastic jug of LIQUID PLUM'R and slams
it down on the desk inches from Silberman's eyes.

She jams the empty syringe into the plastic jug.
Draws back the plunger. The syringe fills with blue liquid.
She whips it out of the jug and jams the needle into Silberman's neck.
His horrified eyes rack toward it. 10 cc's of blue death fill the
cylinder.
Her thumb hovers over the plunger.
She jerks him to his feet by the collar and gets a tight grip on him,
then hauls him through the door.

69 IN THE CORRIDOR outside cell #19 the T-1000 stops and looks in the
window. Douglas, his face a bloody mess, yells to be heard.

DOUGLAS
Open the door! The goddamn bitch is loose in
the halls!

To Douglas' amazement, Lewis the Guard turns impassively and walks
away, leaving him shouting soundlessly at the window.
CUT TO:

70 EXT. HOSPITAL

Terminator and John are approaching the guard gate on the Harley.
They can see the guard inside looks up at the sound of the engine.

JOHN
Now remember, you're not gonna kill anyone,
right?

TERMINATOR
Right.

John looks at him. He's not convinced.

JOHN
Swear.

TERMINATOR
What?

JOHN
Just say "I swear I won't kill anyone."

John holds his hand up, like he's being sworn in. Terminator stares
at John a beat. Then mimics the gesture.

TERMINATOR
I swear I will not kill anyone.

Terminator stops the bike and gets off.
The guard, sensing trouble, has his gun drawn as he comes out of the
shack. Terminator walks toward him drawing his .45 smoothly. BLAM!
He shoots the guard accurately in the thigh.
The guy drops, screaming and clutching his leg.
Terminator kicks the guard's gun away, then smashes the phone in the
shack with his fist. He pushes the button to raise the gate and walks
back to the bike.

TERMINATOR
He'll live.

Terminator climbs onto the bike. They drive toward the hospital,
heading down an ambulance ramp to an underground receiving area.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah Connor, disguised as a guard, infiltrates the isolation ward to rescue John Connor and subdues Silberman and an orderly. The T-1000 approaches the isolation ward but doesn't interact with Sarah. Meanwhile, the Terminator and John Connor enter the hospital through the underground receiving area.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Character development
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced
  • Pacing may be too fast in some moments
Critique
  • The scene is intense and action-packed, with Sarah Connor taking matters into her own hands to subdue Silberman and the orderly.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and Silberman is impactful, showcasing Sarah's determination and strength in the face of danger.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a sense of urgency and tension in the scene.
  • The scene effectively builds suspense as Sarah prepares to confront her pursuers and take control of the situation.
  • The actions of the T-1000/Guard in the hospital add an element of danger and urgency to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Sarah to provide insight into her mindset during the confrontation.
  • Explore the aftermath of Sarah's actions on her character development and relationships with other characters.
  • Enhance the pacing of the scene by adding more dynamic movement or interactions between characters.
  • Provide more context or background information on the T-1000/Guard to deepen the audience's understanding of its motives and capabilities.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the tense atmosphere of the isolation ward.



Scene 16 - Escape from the Isolation Floor
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
71 INT. ISOLATION FLOOR

The attendants at the security checkpoint look up at the monitor as
someone enters the corridor. They see Sarah, holding Silberman at
syringe-point.
Sarah speaks to them through an intercom on the wall. Her voice
comes through the speaker.

SARAH
Open it or he'll be dead before he hits the
floor.
The attendants' adrenaline levels just went off the scale. The first
attendant shakes him head no. The amperage here is really high. The
second attendant keys the intercom switch.

2ND ATTENDANT
There's no way, Connor. Let him go.

Silberman's face is the color of suet.

SILBERMAN
It won't work, Sarah. You're no killer. I don't
believe you'd do it.

Her voice is a deadly cold hiss.

SARAH
You're already dead, Silberman. Everybody here
dies. You know I believe that. So don't fuck
with me!

SILBERMAN
Open the goddamn door!

The attendants looks at one another. One of them hits the solenoid
button. The far door unlocks.

71A IN THE LOCKOUT CORRIDOR. Sarah pushes Silberman ahead of her.
The nearer, barred door must be unlocked manually.
One of the attendants cautiously approaches. Nervously unlocks it.

SARAH
Step back!

He does. She faces both of them.

SARAH
Down on the floor! Now!

They comply. She comes through with Silberman, giving them a wide
berth. Starts backing down the hall away from them, still holding
her hostage. She's actually pulling this off.

71B ANGLE FROM BEHIND HER. What we can see, but she can't see, it a
third orderly waiting just around the corner. He's poised, ready to
jump her when she comes abreast of him.

ON SARAH backing up. She reaches the corner.
The third attendant lunges, grabbing her syringe-hand.
Sarah spins on the orderly and catches him across the throat with the
nightstick. He loses interest fast, dropping to his knees and
gagging. Silberman pulls away, screaming at the top of his lungs

SILBERMAN
Get her!

They scramble up as Sarah takes off like a shot around the corner.
One of them hits the panic button and ALARMS begin to sound.
72 IN THE ISOLATION WARD, the T-1000 is looking in at a very stoned
attendant inside the nurses' station when the alarms shriek through
the halls. It reaches into its chest and pulls out the 9mm pistol.
Heads for the security entrance.

73 IN ANOTHER CORRIDOR in the maze of the vast hospital, Sarah flies
past us, her bare feet slapping on the cold tiles. The orderlies
charge after her.
She's like an animal in a maze. She turns the corner, glancing off
the wall, and sprints on without slowing. She reaches a steel door.
Tries it. Locked.
Footsteps like a drum solo behind her.

She fumbles with Douglas' keys, breathing hard. Jams the master in.
The orderlies are bearing down on her at full tilt.
Sarah gets the door open. Dives through. Slams it.
She turns a deadbolt knob just as the first orderly grabs the latch
on the other side. He's too late.

Sarah sees them beyond the window, fumbling with their keys.

73A Sarah is in another sally-port corridor. A jail-cell type barred
door is between her and the corridors of the ward beyond.
She sprints to the walls of bars, jams her key into the door.
She unlocks and pulls open this door just as she hears the latch of
the one she just came through being unlocked.

She flings herself frantically through the barred door as the first
orderly comes through behind her.
She slams the bars shut. CLANG.
Her keys are dangling from the lock on the other side from her.
The orderly is racing at her, white-lipped with rage.

She reaches back through the bars, turns the key, and purposefully
snaps it off in the lock. An instant later the big orderly slams
against the door, grabbing through the bars for her as she dances
back just out of reach.
He lunges against the steel bars, unbelievably pissed off.

Sarah takes off running, looking back at the frustrated orderlies.
They're shouting at each other, unable to fit their keys into the
lock --
The broken-off key tip makes it impossible to get their keys in.
Silberman shouts at them.

SILBERMAN
Go around, goddamnit! Go around!!

The orderlies run back the way they came, and along a cross-corridor
to another set of doors.

73B ON SARAH as she rounds a corner and sees the elevators ahead.
Now she's home-free. At a full-tilt sprint, she's nearly there when
the elevator doors part...

TERMINATOR steps out... his head swivels to face her.
Sarah reacts, stricken by the image from her worst nightmares.
Her eyes go wide as momentum carries her forward.
Her bare feet slip on the slick tile. She slams to the floor,
staring up at the leather-clad figure with the shotgun.

She loses all semblance of courage and some of her sanity.
She's not even aware that she is screaming, or what would be
screaming if she could get the breath to do it.
In slowed-down dream-time, Sarah scrambles back along the floor like a
crab, spinning and clawing her way to her feet along the wall.

She runs like the wind, like in her nightmare. If she looked back she
would have seen John step warily out of the corridor behind
Terminator. John, however, catches a glimpse of the fleeing Sarah and
figures out instantly what happened.

JOHN
Mom!! Wait!

Sarah doesn't hear. She has clicked fully into her own nightmare.
They take off running after Sarah.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah takes Silberman hostage and forces the attendants to open the door. She pushes Silberman ahead of her and forces the attendants to lie down on the floor. She hits an orderly with a nightstick and runs away. She finds a steel door and unlocks it, slamming it shut and turning a deadbolt. She runs to another set of doors and unlocks them, slamming the bars shut and snapping the key off in the lock. She runs to the elevators, but the Terminator steps out and points a shotgun at her. Sarah screams and runs away, with the Terminator and John in pursuit.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Strong character development
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some cliched dialogue in moments of high tension
Critique
  • The scene is intense and action-packed, with a good build-up of tension as Sarah holds Silberman at syringe-point to gain access to the security checkpoint.
  • The dialogue between Sarah and Silberman is effective in showcasing Sarah's determination and the high stakes of the situation.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help create a sense of urgency and danger, especially as Sarah navigates the hospital corridors and outwits the orderlies.
  • The introduction of the T-1000 adds an additional layer of suspense and danger to the scene, as it approaches the isolation ward while Sarah is on the run.
  • The scene effectively sets up a chase sequence with Sarah desperately trying to escape the pursuing orderlies and the looming threat of the T-1000.
  • The moment when Terminator steps out of the elevator adds a chilling and dramatic twist, heightening the tension and fear for Sarah's safety.
  • The scene effectively transitions from a tense standoff to a high-speed chase, keeping the audience engaged and on the edge of their seats.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Sarah to further explore her mindset and motivations during this high-stress situation.
  • Provide more context or background information on why Sarah is so determined to escape and what drives her to take such drastic actions.
  • Explore the dynamic between Sarah and the T-1000 further to enhance the cat-and-mouse aspect of their pursuit.
  • Consider adding more sensory details to immerse the reader in the hospital setting and enhance the atmosphere of urgency and danger.
  • Ensure a clear and smooth transition between the different elements of the scene, especially as the tension escalates and the stakes increase.



Scene 17 - Deadly Encounter in the Hospital
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 8
73C She is pelting down the long corridor, back the way she came. As she
reaches an intersection with a cross-corridor a white-clad figure
blurs from that corridor. The orderly hits her in a flying tackle.
She skids across the floor, shrieking and struggling. The other two
orderlies leap into the fray.

SARAH
No! Help me! Goddamnit, it's gonna kill us
all!!!

She is shouting, pleading, trying to get them to understand what is
coming. They grab her thrashing arms and legs. They don't even look
where the out-of-control woman is pointing... back along the corridor.

They have pinned her to the cold tiles, a ring of faces above her.
Silberman leans down to her, holding a syringe with a heavy dose of
trank. Sarah cranes her neck and sees the dark silhouette of
Terminator coming up behind them. It is exactly her nightmare.
She screams in utter hopelessness.

Terminator, holding the shotgun in one hand, reaches down and grabs
one of the orderlies with his other hand. He hurls the 200-pound
guys against the far wall of the corridor. SMACK! He drops to the
floor.
The other two orderlies react instantly, leaping onto the intruder.
Terminator seems to disappear for a moment under the two big guys.
Then there is an explosion of white-clad figures, as the orderlies are
flung outward like they stepped on a land mine.
One crashes through a window of safety glass and is caught before a
two-story fall by the outer steel bars. The other crashes through an
office door, splintering it into kindling.

Silberman has jumped to hold Sarah. He is grabbed by a roll of skin
at the back of his neck and lifted like a cat. The doctor feel his
feet pedaling above the ground. He looks into the expressionless
face. And it hit him. Sarah was right... this guy isn't human.
He feels the fabric of reality crumbling.
Then he feels himself flying through the air. The wall smacks him,
then the floor kicks him in the face. He decides to lie there a
second.

Sarah blinks, staring up at the figure looming over her.
John kneels next to her.

JOHN
Mom, are you okay?

She looks from Terminator to John. Back to Terminator.
Is this a nightmare? Or has she finally gone truly bad?

Incredibly, Terminator politely reaches his hand down to her, offering
to help her up. The last thing she ever expected to see.

TERMINATOR
Come with me if you want to live.

The orderlies are stirring.

JOHN
It's all right, Mom. He's here to help.

Sarah, is a daze, takes the huge hand in her shaking fingers.
Terminator lifts her to her feet.

73D John sees a GUARD standing thirty feet away, on the other side of the
walls of bars. John doesn't know what we know, but he knows
something's not right with this guy. Terminator turns to follow
John's gaze.
The T-1000 had its pistol in its hand, at its side.
Terminator pushes John behind him. They start backing up.

73E The T-1000 walks forward, reaching the bars. It doesn't stop.
Its body divides like jello around the bars. As it squeezes itself
through like metal playdough, its surface reforms perfectly on our
side. We see it deform and squeeze through like a viscous paste
forced past an obstacle.
Silberman has recovered enough to be sitting up and watching this.
That faint snapping sound is his mind.
There is a CLANK and we see that the guard's gun has caught against
the bars... the only solid object. The T-1000 turns its wrist and
tries again, slipping the gun endwise through the gap.

73F Sarah is agape. Not reacting. It's been a heavy day for her.
Terminator grabs John by the seat of his pants and hooks him up onto
his back. John grabs him around the neck. Terminator raises the
shotgun and starts backing up.

TERMINATOR
Go! Run!

Sarah doesn't need to be told twice.
T-1000 walks toward them, opening fire with the Browning Hi-Power.
Terminator straight-arms the 12-guage like a pistol and FIRES.
The stunned orderlies flop face down on the floor as the corridor is
filled with high-velocity lead. One of them, stupidly running for the
cross-corridor, gets hit by the T-1000.
Terminator is hammered by several slugs, and the T-1000 is cratered
by two buckshots hits. It staggers, but comes on. In the craters
we see bright mercury before they close and reseal, disappearing in a
second.

73G Terminator makes it around the corner and breaks into a run. Ahead,
Sarah is already at the elevator. Terminator and John pile in and
John slaps the button for "Garage Level".

The doors start to close. T-1000 clears the corner.
Terminator slams John and Sarah back against the side walls as the
T-1000 charges at them, rapid firing the Browning.
The rounds hit the steel doors as they close.
T-1000 keeps pumping them at the closing gap.
73H Inside, they see the backside of the doors denting with the hits that
are punching holes in the other side.

73I The Browning locks open, empty. T-1000 drops it without a glance
back. The doors close. K-WHAM! The T-1000 hits them a split second
later. The elevator hasn't moved yet. SSWWIKK!

73J A sword-like blade rams through in between the doors, forcing them
open. Terminator jams the shotgun through the widening gap. Punches
the muzzle right INTO T-1000's face -- BOOM!!
73K We get a glimpse of the T-1000's head blown apart by the blast. It
is hurtled back. The doors close. The car descends.

73L ON THE T-1000, outside the elevator. Its head, which is blown apart
into two doughy masses lying on the shoulders, reforms quickly.
There is no trace of the injury. It sees the closed door and jams its
hands between them, its fingertips becoming pry-bars. It pulls the
doors apart with inhuman strength
73M and LEAPS INTO THE OPEN SHAFT.
It falls two floors and...
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action","Thriller"]

Summary Sarah Connor, haunted by a vision of a metal humanoid, desperately tries to warn orderlies of its impending danger but is met with disbelief. John Connor and the Terminator arrive, engaging in a battle that exposes the Terminator's true nature. The T-1000, a relentless pursuer, exhibits its liquid-like abilities and relentlessly chases Sarah and her companions, testing their limits and setting the stage for a thrilling escape.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotionally charged moments
  • Unexpected character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too intense for sensitive viewers
Critique
  • The scene is intense and action-packed, with a lot of physical conflict and tension between the characters.
  • The dialogue is effective in conveying the urgency and danger of the situation, especially Sarah's pleas for help and Terminator's iconic line 'Come with me if you want to live.'
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and help to create a sense of chaos and danger in the hospital setting.
  • The transformation of the T-1000 through the bars is a visually striking moment that adds to the suspense and threat of the scene.
  • The scene effectively showcases Sarah's desperation and determination to survive, as well as Terminator's protective instincts towards John and Sarah.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Sarah to further explore her mindset and the trauma she's experiencing.
  • Provide more context or background information on the T-1000 and its abilities to enhance the audience's understanding of the threat it poses.
  • Explore the dynamic between John, Sarah, and Terminator further to deepen their relationships and character development.
  • Consider adding more strategic elements to the action sequence to showcase the characters' intelligence and resourcefulness in overcoming obstacles.
  • Ensure the pacing of the scene is consistent to maintain the tension and momentum throughout.



Scene 18 - Elevator Assault
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
74 IN THE ELEVATOR. Out trio hears a loud THUMP on the roof.
Terminator, reloading the shotgun, looks up.
Sarah grabs the .45 from his waistband and aims it at the ceiling.
BEAT...
Then CLANGG!! a swordlike shaft punches through the ceiling and spears
down four feet into the elevator car.
It is inches from Sarah's face.
She opens fire, BAM-BAM-BAM -- right through the roof.
Lighting-fast the lance withdraws and thrusts down again, slashing
Terminator's jacket, and missing John by inches.
Terminator chambers a round and K-BOOM! the 12-guage opens a hole in
the ceiling.
Terminator rocks out in a fury of firing/cocking/firing as the metal
shafts slash down again and again. Sarah yells in pain as one of them
slices open her upper arm.

75 The doors open. Sarah pulls John out as soon as the gap is wide
enough.
They emerge into the basement. We see the Harley parked nearby.
Terminator, in a rearguard action, fires another blast through the
ceiling and runs out. He throws his leg over the Harley, kicks it to
life with one powerful stroke and then whips something out of the
inner pocket of his jacket. He throws it to John. A road flare!?

76 In the elevator, the T-1000 has bashed a hole in the ceiling big
enough to...
Pour itself through.
A massive blob of mercury extrudes from the opening. The mass drops
through the hole, down out of frame, then comes back up into frame
as Officer X.

It seems to need just a second to get its mental act together after
doing this king of taffy-pull with itself. It opens its eyes and
sees --

77 TERMINATOR, the shot gun held in his teeth, astride the roaring
Harley twenty feet away. Terminator twists the throttle and pops the
clutch.
The back tire screams on the concrete. The front wheel lifts off the
ground and the heavy bike launches in a thundering wheelie.

Terminator gets off just before the bike hurtles into the elevator.
The Harley slams the T-1000 square and smashes it right through the
back wall of the elevator.
Terminator rolls to his feet.
Johns strikes the flare on the concrete. Tosses it.
Terminator catches the life flare with one hand.
Levels the shotgun with the other.
With his last round he blows a big hole in the bike's gas tank.
Gas splashes everywhere, covering the struggling T-1000.
Terminator tosses the flare. KA-VOOOM!

The explosion knocks Terminator backward off his feet, enveloping him
in the fireball. He gets up, smoking, and runs after John and Sarah
toward the exit ramp.

78 AT THE EXIT RAMP. They are partway up when a blue-and-white hospital
security car comes screeching down the other way.
Without breaking stride Sarah runs right at the car. It skids to a
shrieking halt. She's in the guy's face with the .45 in both hands.

SARAH
Out of the car!!

The patrol guy is thinking what he can try when BLAM! she puts a round
through the glass next to his head.

SARAH
RIGHT NOW!

The door opens and the guy is coming out with his hands up as
Terminator arrives. The cyborg flings the rent-a-cop out of the way
and slides behind the wheel. Sarah gets John into the back seat and
dives into the front passenger seat as --

78A Terminator slams the car into reverse and punches it, lighting up the
tires on the slick ramp.
Terminator hands the shotgun over his shoulder to John and tells him
to reload. John pulls some shells from the pocket of his army jacket
and starts feeding them in.
Terminator power backward up the ramp, scraping along one wall, barely
in control. Because...

79 The T-1000 is running at them out of the inferno below.
This guy won't quit. Shifting from chrome mode to cop-form as it
runs.
It sprints up the ramp after the retreating car. T-1000 is gaining.

80 Terminator hands Sarah another magazine for the .45. She snatches
it, drops the other out, and slaps in the new one. Cocks the slide.
The car backs along the service driveway toward the security gate.
John hands the shot gun back to Terminator.
He leans out the window and takes aim at the pursuer.
The T-1000's face is right in the headlights.
80A Terminator fires, blowing a hole in its shoulder. Shiny liquid metal
visible in the hole, which then closes.
80B Sarah, half out the passenger window, opens fire.
The car crashes backward through the security barricade.

TERMINATOR
(calmly)
Hang on.

He cuts the wheel hard. The car slews into a reverse 180, swapping
ends with a screech.
T-1000 is almost on them.
Terminator punches it. The car accelerates forward.

80C T-1000 leaps. Lands on the trunk.
Its hand is a metal crowbar slammed down through the trunk lid.
Feet dragging on the pavement, it slams its other hand down,
punching another metal hook into the trunk lid, pulling itself up.
Terminator turns to Sarah.

TERMINATOR
Drive.

Terminator heaves himself half out the driver's window. Sarah slaps
her foot down on the throttle and steers from the passenger side.

80D T-1000, fully on the car now, holds on with one hook-hand while it
slams the other into the back window, sweeping away the glass and
missing John by inches as he ducks.
It draws back for another swing, lunging forward as --

80E Terminator whips the shotgun over the roof of the car.
Fires point-blank.
Hits the T-1000's arm just above the "hand" which anchors it to the
car. The 12-guage blows the arm apart, severing the hook-hand.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary The trio is attacked by the T-1000 in an elevator. Sarah fires at the ceiling, and Terminator chambers a round and fires at the ceiling, attempting to stop the attack, but the T-1000 continues to thrust, slicing Sarah's arm. As the doors open, Sarah pulls John out and they emerge into the basement. Terminator fires another blast through the ceiling and runs out, throwing John a road flare. The T-1000 pours itself through the hole in the ceiling and reassembles into Officer X. Terminator gets on the Harley and launches it into a wheelie, slamming it into the T-1000 and sending it through the back wall of the elevator. Terminator then tosses the flare, causing an explosion that envelops him in flames. He gets up and runs after John and Sarah. At the exit ramp, Sarah forces a security guard out of his car and Terminator takes the wheel. John reloads the shotgun while Terminator drives backward up the ramp, barely in control. The T-1000 runs after the car, gaining on them. Terminator hands Sarah another magazine for the .45, and John hands the shotgun back to Terminator. Sarah fires at the T-1000, and the car crashes backward through the security barricade. Terminator turns the car around and accelerates forward. The T-1000 leaps onto the trunk and tries to break in, but Terminator shoots its arm off, severing the hook-hand that was anchoring it to the car. The trio escapes in the car, with the T-1000 still in pursuit.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion with multiple characters and fast-paced action
Critique
  • The scene is action-packed and intense, with a lot of physical and visual elements that create tension and excitement.
  • The use of the elevator as a setting adds a claustrophobic and confined feeling to the scene, enhancing the sense of danger and urgency.
  • The interaction between Sarah, Terminator, and John is well portrayed, showing their teamwork and quick thinking in a high-pressure situation.
  • The T-1000's ability to morph and attack in various forms adds a dynamic element to the scene, keeping the audience on edge.
  • The use of weapons, such as the shotgun and the road flare, adds to the intensity of the action sequences and showcases the characters' resourcefulness.
  • The visual descriptions of the scene, such as the metal shaft punching through the ceiling and the T-1000's liquid metal form, create vivid imagery for the reader.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to the characters during the action sequences to provide a balance between the intense physicality and the characters' internal struggles.
  • Provide more insight into the characters' thoughts and motivations during the scene to enhance the audience's connection with them.
  • Explore the consequences of the characters' actions in the scene to add layers of complexity and realism to the storyline.
  • Consider incorporating more dialogue to reveal the characters' personalities and relationships amidst the chaos of the action.
  • Ensure that the pacing of the scene is consistent to maintain the tension and momentum throughout.