Lucifer
Executive Summary
Overview
Genres: Drama, Crime, Mystery, Fantasy, Comedy, Thriller, Supernatural
Setting: Modern day, Los Angeles, California
Overview: The story follows Lucifer Morningstar, the Devil, who abandons his throne in Hell to live in Los Angeles, where he runs a nightclub called Lux. Initially reveling in earthly pleasures, Lucifer's life takes a turn when he becomes embroiled in a murder investigation linked to a fallen pop star, Delilah. As he interacts with LAPD detective Chloe Dancer, their dynamic evolves from skepticism to a complex relationship filled with tension and attraction. Throughout the narrative, Lucifer grapples with his identity, morality, and the consequences of his actions, leading to moments of introspection and conflict with his celestial brother, Amenadiel. The story culminates in a series of dramatic confrontations that challenge Lucifer's understanding of good and evil, ultimately pushing him towards a path of redemption.
Themes: Identity and Self-Discovery, Redemption and Forgiveness, Love and Relationships, Temptation and Desire, Good vs. Evil, Existentialism and Purpose
Conflict and Stakes: Lucifer's internal struggle with his identity and purpose after leaving Hell, alongside Chloe's investigation into Delilah's murder, which intertwines their lives and emotions.
Overall Mood: Playful yet introspective, blending humor with darker themes.
Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:
- Scene 1: The mood is playful and seductive as Lucifer enjoys life at his nightclub, hinting at deeper struggles.
- Scene 5: The mood shifts to dark and tragic as Delilah is killed, contrasting with earlier lighthearted moments.
- Scene 10: The mood is tense and chaotic during the confrontation with Jimmy Barnes, filled with urgency and danger.
- Scene 15: The mood is a mix of light-hearted banter and serious reflection as Chloe and Lucifer discuss their pasts.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The Devil as a protagonist who runs a nightclub and solves crimes, offering a fresh perspective on morality and justice.
- Character Dynamics: The complex relationships between Lucifer, Chloe, and other characters create rich emotional storytelling.
- Humor and Dark Themes: The blend of humor with serious themes of redemption and identity adds depth to the narrative.
- Supernatural Elements: Lucifer's powers and the presence of celestial beings introduce unique plot twists and conflicts.
Comparable Scripts:
- Supernatural
- Constantine
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer
- The Mentalist
- Good Omens
- American Gods
- The Sandman
- Angel
- The Good Place
Writing Style:
The screenplay exhibits a rich blend of dark humor, supernatural elements, and complex character dynamics, reminiscent of contemporary fantasy and drama. It effectively intertwines philosophical themes with engaging dialogue, creating a narrative that is both thought-provoking and entertaining.
Style Similarities:
- Neil Gaiman
- Joss Whedon
Pass/Consider/Recommend
Consider
Explanation: The 'Lucifer' pilot screenplay presents a compelling character-driven story with a unique supernatural premise. While the overall narrative is engaging, there are some areas that could be strengthened, such as the clarity of character arcs and the pacing in certain sequences. The script showcases strong dialogue and an intriguing dynamic between the lead characters, Lucifer and Chloe, which holds great potential for further exploration. With some refinement, this screenplay could be a strong contender for development.
USP: The screenplay's unique selling proposition lies in its combination of crime procedural with supernatural elements, particularly the character of Lucifer Morningstar, who embodies charm and mischief while grappling with his identity. This duality appeals to audiences seeking both humor and depth in storytelling, making it compelling as it explores themes of free will, morality, and redemption.
Market Analysis
Budget Estimate:$30-50 million
Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 18-45, fans of supernatural dramas, crime thrillers, and character-driven narratives.
Marketability: The unique premise of the Devil solving crimes in Los Angeles, combined with strong character dynamics, appeals to a broad audience.
The blend of supernatural elements with crime drama and humor creates a fresh take on familiar genres, attracting diverse viewers.
The character-driven story with emotional depth and humor has potential for strong word-of-mouth and fan engagement.
Profit Potential: High, due to the appeal of the supernatural genre, potential for a strong fanbase, and opportunities for merchandise and spin-offs.
Analysis Criteria Percentiles
What this means: Each criteria is ranked in comparison to scripts in our Vault (such as The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.) This allows you to see where you stand compared to other produced scripts for each criteria.
Writer's Voice
Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by a unique blend of witty dialogue, dark humor, and a seamless integration of supernatural and crime elements. This voice manifests through sharp banter, clever wordplay, and a playful yet introspective tone that captures the complexities of the characters, particularly Lucifer Morningstar. The dialogue often juxtaposes light-heartedness with deeper existential themes, creating a distinctive atmosphere that sets the screenplay apart from conventional narratives.
Best representation: Scene 2 - Standoff at Lux. This scene is the best representation because it encapsulates the writer's unique voice through its blend of humor, charm, and moral ambiguity. The witty dialogue and playful manipulation highlight Lucifer's character while also showcasing the underlying themes of temptation and the complexities of human nature. The interaction with Officer Diggs serves as a microcosm of the larger narrative, reflecting the interplay between the supernatural and the mundane, making it a standout moment in the screenplay.
Memorable Lines:
- Lucifer Morningstar: What is it you truly desire? (Scene 1)
- Maze: You’re the Prince of frickin’ Darkness. It’s all well and good to take a vacation, have fun in paradise with the low-hanging fruit. But you're losing sight of who you actually are, Lucifer. (Scene 7)
- Lucifer: You didn’t sell your soul, Delilah, but you do owe me a favor. Looks like it’s time to settle up. (Scene 4)
- Lucifer: I’m like walking heroin. Very habit-forming. Never ends well. (Scene 16)
- Lucifer: Allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man who could make you see things that would drive you blind. Or pull your spine out through your mouth. Your choice. But I wouldn’t do any of these things in front of the child. You know why? Because I, for one, have excellent manners. (Scene 14)
Characters
Lucifer Morningstar:The Devil who abandons Hell to live in Los Angeles, running a nightclub and grappling with his identity and emotions.
Chloe Dancer:A determined LAPD detective who becomes entangled with Lucifer, balancing her professional duties and personal life.
Amenadiel:Lucifer's angelic brother who confronts him about his choices and responsibilities, representing divine authority.
Maze:A seductive bartender and Lucifer's ally, who challenges his emotional vulnerability and encourages his darker nature.
Delilah:A fallen pop star whose tragic death propels the investigation and reveals the complexities of fame and personal choices.
Dan Espinoza:Chloe's ex-husband, a fellow detective, who navigates his feelings of jealousy and concern regarding Chloe's relationship with Lucifer.
Story Shape
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
| Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall Grade | Concept | Plot | Originality Score | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
| 1 - Lucifer's Night at Lux | Dark, Mysterious, Sarcastic | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 2 - Temptation on Sunset Boulevard | Charismatic, Sardonic, Playful, Sarcastic, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 5 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 5 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 3 - Standoff at Lux | Sarcastic, Intense, Defiant, Mysterious | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 4 - A Fallen Star's Redemption | Serious, Playful, Reflective, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 5 - A Tragic Farewell | Dark, Intense, Mysterious, Suspenseful, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 6 - Flirtation and Frustration at Lux | Sarcastic, Mysterious, Playful, Tense | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 7 - Reflections of Darkness | Intense, Seductive, Emotional, Defiant | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 8 - Chaos at the Altar | Sarcastic, Confrontational, Emotional, Intense | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 9 - A Sinister Invitation | Dark, Intense, Mysterious, Sarcastic | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 10 - Confrontation in Chaos | Intense, Confrontational, Emotional, Sarcastic | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 11 - Cuffed Curiosity | Sarcastic, Intriguing, Playful, Intense | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 12 - Balancing Act | Sarcastic, Intense, Playful, Tense, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 13 - Lucifer's Playground | Dark, Playful, Intense, Surreal | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 14 - Tension at the Schoolyard | Sarcastic, Confrontational, Playful, Dark | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 15 - Tension in the Waiting Room | Sarcastic, Intriguing, Confrontational, Humorous | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 16 - Charm and Confessions | Sarcastic, Intense, Intriguing, Playful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 17 - Chaos on Set | Tense, Playful, Emotional, Confrontational, Intriguing | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 18 - Secrets Unraveled | Sarcastic, Humorous, Dramatic, Confrontational | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 19 - A Moment of Clarity | Serious, Teasing, Reflective, Humorous | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 20 - Midnight Showdown in the Studio | Intense, Confrontational, Emotional, Tense, Dark | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 21 - Awakening in Tension | Sarcastic, Intense, Humorous, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 22 - Tensions of Mercy | Dark, Mysterious, Intense, Sarcastic, Playful | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
Scene 1 - Lucifer's Night at Lux
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 9
- Plot: 7
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 8
!
!
!
LUCIFER(
!
“Pilot”
Written by
Tom Kapinos
Directed by
Len Wiseman
Production Draft
3/3/15 WHITE
3/9/15 FULL BLUE
3/11/15 FULL PINK
3/12/15 YELLOW
3/14/15 FULL GREEN
3/15/15 GOLD 34,35,36,37
3/16/15 BUFF 56
3/17/15 SALMON 56,56A
3/18/15 CHERRY ii,iii,iv,v,vi,1,11,17,35,35A,37,47,52,55,56,56A,57
3/19/15 GRAY 6,6A,12,13,28,30,36,37,38,38A,54
3/21/15 LAVENDER ii,iii,4,8,9,13,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,49,50,50A,51
CHARGE#276096
WARNER BROS. ENTERTAINMENT
4000 WARNER BLVD.
BURBANK, CA 91522
© 2015 WARNER BROS. ENTERTAINMENT INC. THIS SCRIPT IS THE PROPERTY OF WARNER
BROS. ENTERTAINMENT INC. NO PORTION OF THIS SCRIPT MAY BE PERFORMED,
REPRODUCED OR USED BY ANY MEANS, OR DISCLOSED TO, QUOTED OR PUBLISHED IN ANY
MEDIUM WITHOUT THE PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT OF WARNER BROS. ENTERTAINMENT INC.
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 ii.
LUCIFER
"Pilot"
CAST
LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR
CHLOE DANCER
MAZIKEEN a.k.a. "MAZE"
AMENADIEL
BEATRICE "TRIXIE" ESPINOZA
DANIEL ESPINOZA
OFFICER DIGGS
DELILAH
SHOOTER
JIMMY BARNES
SUPERMODEL BRIDE
WHITE ENGLISH BUTLER
2VILE
CREW 1
DR. LINDA MARTIN
GREY COOPER
AMANDA BELLO
UNIFORM #1
PRIEST
TRAFFIC COP
A.D.
TV NEWS REPORTER (TALKING ABOUT DELILAH'S POST-MORTEM SALES)
NON-SPEAKING
HOLLYWOOD HIPSTERS OUTSIDE LUX
LUX PATRONS
DELILAH'S TAXI DRIVER
ROOKIE UNIFORMS AND CORONER OUTSIDE LUX (POST-SHOOTING)
MALIBU WEDDING GUESTS
2VILE'S CREW
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENTS
MILFY MOM
MEAN GIRL
GROUP OF ONLOOKERS AT MOVIE SHOOT
MOVIE CREW
UNIFORMS AT MOVIE SET
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 iii.
NON-SPEAKING (CONT'D)
GREY'S STUNT DOUBLE
AMANDA'S BLACK SUV DRIVER
BOBBY THE BODYGUARD
VIGIL FOR DELILAH OUTSIDE LUX
YOUNG BOY BAND
MIXERS AND TECHS AT STUDIO
JUSTIN BIEBER-Y KID
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 iv.
LUCIFER
"Pilot"
SETS
INTERIORS
LOCATION: LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
LUX
2VILE'S PLACE
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
THERAPIST'S OFFICE
WAITING ROOM
RECORDING STUDIO
HOSPITAL ROOM
VEHICLES
LUCIFER'S CAR
OFFICER DIGG'S COP CAR
DELILAH'S TAXI
PIECE OF SHIT CAR (DRIVEN BY SHOOTER)
CITY BUS
CORONER'S VAN
EMERGENCY VEHICLES
LAPD SQUAD CARS
CHLOE'S POLICE CAR
BLACK SUV (DRIVING AMANDA)
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 v.
EXTERIORS
LOCATION: LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
SUNSET BLVD.
LUX
STREET
MALIBU WEDDING SITE
2VILE'S PLACE
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
STREET
DOWNTOWN
INDUSTRIAL AREA
STREET
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 vi.
CHRONOLOGY
NIGHT 1 SCENES 1-12
DAY 2 SCENES 13-25
NIGHT 2 SCENES 26-28
DAY 3 SCENES 29
NIGHT 3 SCENES 30-31
DAY 4 SCENES 32
LUCIFER
“Pilot”
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
Scene 2 - Temptation on Sunset Boulevard
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 7
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 8
A jet-black vintage sports car sails down Sunset, cruising
through the adult Disneyland that is nighttime Los Angeles.
Neon and billboards reflected on the windshield. The Stones’
“Gimme Shelter” blasting from the radio.
2 INT. LUCIFER’S CAR - CONTINUOUS 2 *
The Devil himself. Say hello to LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR.
He’s good-looking, a man of considerable wealth and taste,
but that’s not what makes him jump off the screen. It’s his
vibe. Pure lusty mischief. Sardonic smile. Timeless style.
And yes...
He’s that Lucifer. The son of God. The one who rebelled,
plotted against his father and plummeted from grace. The one
who was banished from Paradise and forced to serve as the
Lord of Hell for all eternity.
But right now, Lucifer’s getting pulled over for speeding. A
motorcycle cop. Lucifer adjusts his mirror to see OFFICER
DIGGS approaching the car, he yells over the MUSIC.
OFFICER DIGGS
CAN YOU TURN DOWN THE MUSIC, SIR?!
Lucifer TURNS DOWN THE VOLUME.
LUCIFER
You know what they say, Officer...
If it’s getting too loud, you’re
gettin’ too old.
OFFICER DIGGS
Do you know why I pulled you over?
LUCIFER
Obviously you felt the need to
exercise your limited power and
punish me for ignoring the speed
limit. It’s okay. I understand.
(smiles)
I like to punish people too.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 2.
2 CONTINUED: 2
LUCIFER (CONT'D)
(a wistful aside)
Or at least I used to...
OFFICER DIGGS
Do you have any idea how fast you
were going?
LUCIFER
Haven’t a clue. I blame it on the
Stones. They just make a man wanna
drive, ya’ know what I mean?
And Lucifer has now locked eyes with the officer, A poignant
beat. The cop pauses for a moment, thoughtful.
OFFICER DIGGS
Sometimes... I put my siren on, and
drive really fast for no reason at
all. Just ‘cause I can.
LUCIFER
Right?! And why wouldn’t you? It’s
fun! Feels good to get away with
something, doesn’t it?
Diggs smiles. Chuckles. Yes...it...does. But then he catches
himself -- not sure why he just shared his secret desires
with a complete stranger.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
It’s okay, Officer. People like to
tell me things. Those deep, dark,
naughty little desires that’re
really on their minds. It's a gift.
Must be something about this face.
OFFICER DIGGS
(all biz now)
License and registration.
LUCIFER
Coming right up...
Lucifer fishes a hundred out of his wallet, proffers it...
OFFICER DIGGS
Are you trying to bribe me, sir?
LUCIFER
Yes, of course. Why, is that not
enough? Here, take more, it’s only
money.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 3.
2 CONTINUED: (2) 2
OFFICER DIGGS
It’s against the law, sir.
LUCIFER
You people are funny about your
laws. You break the law sometimes,
don’t you?
The officer nods. It’s almost involuntary.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
Do tell.
OFFICER DIGGS
Sometimes I’ll pull a woman over
for a minor infraction and get her
to flash me a little somethin’.
LUCIFER
You dirty dog you...
OFFICER DIGGS
Sometimes I let her off with a
warning. Sometimes I don’t.
Sometimes other stuff happens...
LUCIFER
(shakes his head)
LA’s finest...
(nods at the cash)
You’re tempted to keep that, aren’t
you?
(off the cop’s nod)
So what are you waiting for?
Permission? Keep it! Buy yourself
something pretty. You deserve it.
But if you don’t mind, I really
must be on my way...
The officer takes the money and puts it in his pocket.
OFFICER DIGGS
Okay, sir, you have a nice evening.
LUCIFER
You too, Officer.
Officer Diggs walks away. Lucifer readjusts his mirror, but
this time we see a flash of something strange; a glimpse of
Lucifer's true reflection; almost too fast to even
comprehend, but enough to unsettle us as --
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 4.
2 CONTINUED: (3) 2
Lucifer dimes the radio and ROARS off -- leaving one very
dazed cop in his wake. As he goes, we see the Caddy’s rear
vanity plate, which reads: “FALL1N 1.” *
SMASH TO BLACK
TITLE CARD: LUCIFER
3 EXT. LUX - STREET - NIGHT 3
Lucifer pulls up in front of his bar, Lux. It doesn’t look
like much from the outside, but there’s a long line of
HOLLYWOOD HIPSTERS dying to get in.
Scene 3 - Standoff at Lux
- Overall: 9.0
- Concept: 9
- Plot: 8
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 9
A little bit of Hell on earth. A living, breathing tribute to
Lucifer’s favorite things -- wine, women and song. Lucifer
glides through... soaking up the sights and sounds of elegant
debauchery like a proud, modern-day Gatsby.
His eyes land on the exotic, dark-haired beauty tending bar
over yonder. MAZIKEEN. But she’s always been just MAZE to
Lucifer. She leans seductively with her back against the bar,
doesn’t turn around as Lucifer approaches... speaks to him
via a mirror...
MAZE
Where’ve you been?
LUCIFER
Holed up at the Chateau. Copulating
with a woman named Faith. Ironic,
isn’t it?
Maze shakes her head, disgusted. As she does, we catch an
unclear glimpse of her reflection in the bar mirror. A blur
of almost serpentine deformity. But it would be weird if Maze
was just your garden variety gal, wouldn’t it?
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
Have I ever told you how incredibly
sexy you are when you can’t control
your emotions?
MAZE
And what emotions might those be?
LUCIFER
Why, jealousy, of course.
MAZE
Try disappointment.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 5.
4 CONTINUED: 4
A young man suddenly rises from where he’d been kneeling in
front of Maze. Lucifer’s eyebrows go up: didn’t see that
comin’. Maze grins at him:
MAZE (CONT’D)
Thank you, Patrick. You can go.
She finally turns to face Lucifer, smiles and shrugs.
MAZE (CONT’D)
What? I dropped something.
(off Lucifer’s grin/shrug)
Now. Lucifer. I’m a big fan of sex--
LUCIFER
--obviously--
MAZE
But shouldn’t you be spending your
valuable time doing something
more... significant. You’re the
Lord of Hell, for cryin-out-loud.
LUCIFER
I’m retired, Maze. I’ve got nothing
but time.
Maze stares at him for a beat. Then senses something. As does
Lucifer. A ripple in the drink she just poured. Time slows.
Music and laughter become warped and haunted as everyone in
the club slows... except Lucifer and Maze, who share a look.
MAZE
I think you have a visitor.
Through the SLOW-MOTION crowd, Lucifer sees AMENADIEL. The
man is a study in grim intensity. He’s Lucifer’s brother AND
AN ANGEL. Yep, majestic wings and everything. But Amenadiel’s
also a badass. Last thing he radiates is angelic goodness.
LUCIFER
Amenadiel! How’s it hanging, big
guy? Didn’t you see the sign? “No
angels allowed”? No? I’ll make an
exception for you -- on the house.
Lucifer slides over a drink, which Amenadiel ignores.
AMENADIEL
(takin in Lux)
You’ve become quite ensconced with
this little hobby of yours...
(off Lucifer’s nod of thanks)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GRAY - 3/19/15 6.
4 CONTINUED: (2) 4
AMENADIEL (CONT'D)
Your return to The Underworld has
been... requested. *
LUCIFER
Oh, okay, let me check my calendar.
Yep, here it is. The seventh of
Never through the fifteenth of
Ain’t Gonna Happen? How’s that work
for you guys?
Amenadiel just stares at him... grim, not amused.
LUCIFER (CONT'D)
I’m consistently surprised by the
whole no sense of humor thing.
(then)
Look, remind Dad I quit Hell
because I was sick and tired of
playing a part in his play. I
believe in free will, not that
tyranny of all his predestination
hoo-ha.
AMENADIEL
I’ll warn you against disrespecting
Our Father.
LUCIFER
Yeah well, Our Father’s been
disrespecting me since the
beginning of time so... pot/kettle.
Don’t you think?
AMENADIEL
You are a mockery of everything
divine.
LUCIFER
Thank you! But lately I’ve been
doing a fair amount of thinking. Do
you think I’m the devil because I’m
inherently evil or simply because
dear ol’ Dad decided I was? Isn’t *
this a classic case of labeling? *
AMENADIEL *
What do you think happens when the *
Devil leaves Hell? All those *
demons, those tormented souls... *
where do they go? *
LUCIFER *
Don’t know, don’t care, not my *
problem. *
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GRAY - 3/19/15 6A.
4 CONTINUED: (3) 4
More staring from Amenadiel. Lucifer downs his brother’s
drink, then locks eyes with Amenadiel... cold as ice now... *
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
(pointed)
Tell Father, I’m not. Going. Back.
(a slight smile)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 7.
4 CONTINUED: (3) 4
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
Consider the position officially
open. So you, my feathered friend,
can go to hell.
In a blink, Amenadiel's wing-tip is at Lucifer's throat.
Ancient steel fused at its tips. Lucifer’s glass falls,
shatters... but he doesn't flinch.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
Go for it. You think Father's upset
now...
Amenadiel wants to kill him. Badly. But Lucifer knows his
Father won't let him die, at least he's willing to test it.
AMENADIEL
He has been patient five years. He
will not be merciful much longer.
Threat planted, Amenadiel withdraws, and exits... and the
club now slips back into regular motion. Lucifer only now
deflates. Amenadiel clearly rattles him.
Scene 4 - A Fallen Star's Redemption
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 7
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 9
Lucifer stands outside, spinning A COIN in his hand, still
thinking about his conversation with Amenadiel... when A TAXI *
slows to a stop in front of Lux. The rear window rolls down.
A beautiful, hot mess appears. This is DELILAH.
Delilah is a fallen-from-grace pop star. The crowd waiting in
line reacts like crowds do when confronted with a super
famous person, tragic or not. Oohs and ahhs and iPhones
galore. But Delilah only has eyes for Lucifer.
DELILAH
Remember me...?
Lucifer smiles... of course he does, but teases...
LUCIFER
Yes... you’re famous. Delilah,
isn’t it? Can I have your
autograph?
DELILAH
If I can have a drink.
6 INT. LUX - NIGHT 6
Lucifer and Delilah sit at a booth. Maze hovers in the BG.
LUCIFER
Why’d you come back?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 8.
6 CONTINUED: 6
DELILAH
Feel safe here, I guess. Reminds me *
of how it was before everything got *
so big and messy. And you...
sometimes I feel like you were the
only one who was ever really honest
with me. But... I need to know
something.
LUCIFER
What’s that?
DELILAH
Did I sell my soul to the Devil?
LUCIFER
That would imply the Devil is
actually interested in your soul.
That’s the stuff of movies and TV.
They always get it wrong.
DELILAH
Come on, you took me in off the
street, let me sing up there
anytime I wanted. I told you I
wanted to be a star and that’s when
things started happening for me.
And you do call yourself Lucifer.
LUCIFER
Call me whatever you want, but I’m
really just a patron of the arts.
(softens)
Honestly, I introduced you to a few
key people who owed me favors. That’s
all.
She leans in, serious and vulnerable now... like a lost kid. *
DELILAH
Do you think I’m talented?
LUCIFER
Of course. You have one of the most
beautiful voices I’ve ever heard.
It’s sweet, dirty, sexy, soulful...
I knew you were a star, I just
helped the world catch up.
DELILAH
Well, it certainly feels very
Faustian at times. Because along
with the good came a hell of a lot
of bad.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 9.
6 CONTINUED: (2) 6
LUCIFER
Oh, so the Devil made you do it?
The alcohol, the drugs, the topless
selfies? Your choices are on you,
my dear.
DELILAH
You’re right. You’re absolutely
right. But the toxic relationships
were my biggest screw-up. God, I
really do have the worst taste in
men...
LUCIFER
You really do, darling. Jimmy
Barnes? I can’t believe you almost
married that sweaty little imp...
DELILAH
He produced my album! You
introduced us!
LUCIFER
I suggested you work with him --
not sleep with him.
DELILAH
I got confused!
LUCIFER
And then you left him at the altar.
DELILAH
Yeah, that was pretty rude of me.
He trapped me in the bathroom at
the Grammys a month ago. Cried.
Said he wanted to get back
together. Then I hear he’s marrying
some supermodel this weekend.
(laughs/almost crying) *
God, I’m such a mess.
LUCIFER
God has nothing to do with your
mess anymore than I do.
(a beat)
You didn’t sell your soul, Delilah,
but you do owe me a favor. Looks
like it’s time to settle up.
DELILAH
(kidding but not)
I’m scared...
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 10.
6 CONTINUED: (3) 6
LUCIFER
You should be. Because what I’m
about to ask is going to be quite
difficult for you.
(then)
Pull yourself together. That’s it.
That’s all I’m asking. Get it
together before it’s too late.
You’re wasting your talent. Your
life.
DELILAH
(fighting tears)
I let you down.
LUCIFER
Then fix it.
Off Delilah, a glimmer of hope in her eyes...
7 OMIT 7
Scene 5 - A Tragic Farewell
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 8
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 8
Lucifer and Delilah walk out... saying goodbye...
DELILAH
I’m gonna do what you asked. I’m
gonna get it together, Lucifer. I
promise.
LUCIFER
It’s not about me. All these terrible
things that weren’t supposed to happen?
They happened. What happens next is up
to you.
She nods. Smiles. Pulls him into an intense hug. They’re
still hugging when a piece-a-shit car slows to a stop in
front of Lux...
SHOTS rings out -- Lucifer and Delilah are RIDDLED WITH
BULLETS. As they both go down in a heap, the car SCREECHES
off. But without warning the shooter’s car is VICIOUSLY
BROADSIDED by a CITY BUS. A beat as everything settles. Then--
AN UNHOLY GROAN from Lucifer as he rises to a sitting
position. His clothes are torn with SMOKING holes. He rips
his shirt open. No blood. No entry wounds. Just pain. A lot
of fucking pain. He slowly climbs to his feet. Goes over to
Delilah, beautiful in peaceful repose. And very much dead.
Lucifer’s face tightens with pain. He looks down the street. *
Zeroes in on the wreckage and stalks over to it.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 11.
8 CONTINUED: 8
The SHOOTER’S body has been thrown from the crumpled car.
Laid out in a pile of broken glass. Twisted and BLOODY, but
still alive. It’s all Lucifer can do to control his emotion.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
What did you do?
SHOOTER
I- I’m sorry...
LUCIFER
Sorry? Tell me why. Why did you
end her life?
(seething, leans closer)
I can smell death coming for you --
shall I speed it along?
SHOOTER
Why else? Money...
LUCIFER
Times like these I wish I was back
in Hell. What I would do to you...
SHOOTER
Hey, I just pulled the trigger...
LUCIFER
What do you mean by that?
The shooter coughs up a final geyser of BLOOD and dies.
Lucifer walks back over to Delilah. He stands there, staring
down at her... with something in his eyes. Is it loss? Which
is when we realize that we’re watching Lucifer from SOMEONE
ELSE’S POV...
9 EXT. LUX - STREET - CONTINUOUS 9 *
FIND Amenadiel in the shadows, a SLOW-MOTION ballet of
ONLOOKERS around him. As he glares at Lucifer ominously, we
wonder: is he observing this moment? Or did he cause it?
10 EXT. LUX - STREET - LATER - SAME NIGHT 10
Now a full-blown crime scene. Cherry tops spin. Police swarm.
CORONER’s put Delilah’s body in a bag and into the back of
their van as an UNMARKED COP CAR pulls up. Out hops LAPD
homicide detective CHLOE DANCER (30s). Beautiful, but
downplays it on purpose. She’s smart, cold and direct.
She strides over to the wrecked car where THE SHOOTER still
lies in a bed of broken glass and blood. Bends over to get a
closer look... when she hears some snickering and whispering.
Turns to see a couple ROOKIE UNIFORMS staring at her.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GRAY - 3/19/15 12.
10 CONTINUED: 10
CHLOE
Can I help you?
UNIFORM #1
Nah... just talkin’ about some of
our favorite movies.
Another plain-clothed detective walks up from the other
direction. He’s DANIEL ESPINOZA (40ish) gruff, alpha dog.
DAN
(nods at the uniforms)
Hey. Go secure the perimeter.
CHLOE *
You here to babysit me? Lieutenant *
said this is my case -- and I need *
it to be. *
DAN
Well, hi. Nice to see you, too. *
(no reaction)
Yes, it’s your case, Chloe. Wanna *
hear what I got so far though?
CHLOE
No.
DAN
It’s an easy one. This is our bad
guy. Eddie Deacon. Low-level drug
dealer. Found these in his pocket--
Holds up an evidence bag with little packets of HEROIN
stamped with “BOOM” and a picture of a bomb.
DAN (CONT’D)
--And this in Delilah’s purse.
Holds up another evidence bag with ONE packet -- same stamp.
DAN (CONT’D)
So, obviously drug related. Maybe
she owed him a bunch’a cash or
something. She wasn’t exactly
selling out stadiums these days.
CHLOE
How’d you know he’s low-level?
DAN
Look at his car?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 13.
10 CONTINUED: (2) 10
CHLOE
Yeah, but look at his watch -- that
ain’t cheap.
DAN
Probably a fake.
(off Chloe, staring at it)
Wouldn’t pick too hard at this one,
Chloe. Not after Palmetto Street.
CHLOE
I begged for this case because of
Palmetto, Dan. I need a big win or
I’ll never get out of the penalty
box... So... any witnesses?
Scene 6 - Flirtation and Frustration at Lux
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 7
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 9
...where Chloe is now questioning Lucifer. Lucifer’s
distracted. His swirling emotions over Delilah’s death are
disorienting him. Maze hovers nearby.
CHLOE
Lucifer Morningstar...? Is that
like, a stage name or something?
LUCIFER
God-given, I’m afraid.
(studies her)
You look familiar. Have we met?
CHLOE
(uh-oh, but remains casual)
Five minutes ago. And I’m asking
the questions... Talk to me about
your relationship with the victim. *
LUCIFER
She used to work here. A few years
back. I would occasionally
accompany her while she sang. Then
she became a big star and someone
decided to end her life.
CHLOE
Did you know the shooter?
LUCIFER
No. But we did have a nice little
chat before he kicked off. I asked *
him why he did it.
CHLOE
I see. Like to play cop, do you?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 14.
11 CONTINUED: 11
LUCIFER
I like to play in general. What
about you, Detective? *
Chloe’s almost amused -- got a real live one here. *
CHLOE
So you spoke to a dead guy?
LUCIFER
He wasn’t quite dead. His soul was
still crossing the threshold. *
CHLOE
(indulges him) *
Okay then... why’d he do it? *
LUCIFER
Money, of course. You humans love
your money.
CHLOE
Yes. Yes, we do. And what planet
are you from? London?
LUCIFER
(smiles, cute)
He also said... “I just pulled the
trigger.” Interesting, no?
Chloe takes that in. She’s heard enough. Shuts it down.
CHLOE
Delilah was shot to death by a drug
dealer. And looks like Delilah
herself kept the guy pretty busy.
It’s sad. It’s ugly. But it’s not
rocket science. Something obviously *
went south between them, she gets
riddled with bullets, and a nice
little act of God takes him out.
LUCIFER *
It doesn’t work like that!
(then realizing)
It’s quite a neatly wrapped present
for the LAPD, don’t you think?
CHLOE
Okay. How does she end up dying in *
a hailstorm of bullets and you get
away without a scratch? That’s *
suspicious, don’t you think? *
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 15.
11 CONTINUED: (2) 11
LUCIFER
The benefits of immortality.
CHLOE
Immortality... of course.
(writing it down)
Do you spell that with one m or
two, I always forget.
LUCIFER
What will your corrupt little
organization do about this?
CHLOE
Excuse me?
LUCIFER
Will you find the one responsible?
Will he be punished? Will this be a
priority for you?
Chloe studies him. Not sure if he’s a prick... a lunatic or *
something more... *
CHLOE
You’ve got some balls on you, pal.
LUCIFER
Thank you, but they’re really quite
average.
(studies her)
Are you sure we haven’t met? I
could swear I’ve seen you naked.
Did we have sex?
Nope. Just a prick. *
CHLOE
What? Go to hell.
LUCIFER
No thank you. Much more fun here.
(as she gets up to leave)
Wait. Detective. We’re not finished.
CHLOE
Yeah. We are.
And she’s out. OFF LUCIFER, frustrated.
END OF ACT ONE
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 16.
ACT TWO
Scene 7 - Reflections of Darkness
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 7
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 8
Lucifer plays piano, fingers flying, an intense version of
Bowie’s “Lady Stardust.” Suddenly he SMASHES the keys in a
burst of atonal fury, his gaze fixed on something ahead...
It's his reflection in the mirrored fireplace. That
disturbing face again. We catch just a hint of it before --
He gets up and HURLS a lamp at the mirror, SMASHING it to *
pieces. Maze enters. Surveys the damage. Says nothing. Which
only serves to infuriate Lucifer even more.
Throughout this scene, the hint of Lucifer's “darker side”
will be reflected in the shattered mirror behind Maze. We
will never fully see it. But it's enough to make us uneasy.
LUCIFER
Out with it, Maze!
MAZE
I’m curious.
LUCIFER
About?
MAZE
Why this upsets you so much.
LUCIFER
There is someone out there that
deserves punishment. And it’s not.
Going. To. Happen.
MAZE
Who cares? Mortals die every day.
LUCIFER
Yes, insignificant ones! Human
nothings who never add anything to
this world. They only take and
consume and die cowardly pathetic
deaths. But this was different! She
was different.
Maze studies him, a mix of concern, disdain and astonishment.
MAZE
You care about her...
LUCIFER
Please. I care about punishing the
coward responsible.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 17.
12 CONTINUED: 12
MAZE
Who are you right now?
Lucifer steps in closer -- as does his reflection in the
shattered mirror behind her.
LUCIFER
I don’t mind the occasional
smartass remarks, Maze. They can be
amusing, but don’t disrespect me.
But instead of retreating, Maze steps closer too... slides
her hands around Lucifer’s neck seductively.
MAZE
The opposite is true. You’re the
Prince of frickin’ Darkness. It’s
all well and good to take a
vacation, have fun in paradise with
the low-hanging fruit. But you're
losing sight of who you actually
are, Lucifer. You exist to punish
and torture for a universal reason.
Certainly not for a petty human
emotion such as love.
Lucifer cracks a smile, playing it off now with sarcasm.
LUCIFER
I am not human. Take that back.
(sighs, playing it off)
The world was robbed of a great
talent. That makes me angry. Makes
me want to punish someone. In very
unholy ways. That’s all.
Maze smiles, leans in... her lips inches from his.
MAZE
Does that mean we’re going home?
He’s silent. Her smile fades but she kisses him sensually on
the cheek and slinks off. ON LUCIFER, Maze’s words echoing...
13 EXT. MALIBU COASTLINE - DAY (DAY 2) 13 *
Gliding over the beautiful Oceanside, we pick up Lucifer’s
car as it speeds down the ribbon of highway that is the PCH.
Scene 8 - Chaos at the Altar
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 8
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 9
Wedding in progress. A short, sweaty music mogul named JIMMY
BARNES is about to wed a stunning, statuesque SUPERMODEL
BRIDE.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 18.
14 CONTINUED: 14
Surrounded by FAMILY and FRENEMIES, it’s a whole big ta-do.
The PRIEST has just arrived at the part where he says:
PRIEST
Speak now or forever hold your
peace...
A VOICE BOOMS:
LUCIFER
Excuse me!
And Lucifer comes strolling down the aisle...
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
I have a problem. Has anyone else
noticed how incredibly, jaw-
droppingly, loin-stirringly
beautiful this young woman is? And
how short, sweaty and altogether
fugly this homunculus is? What is
this? A wedding or a kidnapping?
Reactions from the GUESTS as Lucifer arrives at the altar.
The Priest crosses himself, starts mumbling some prayers.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
(chuckles)
Good luck with that, padre. While
you’re at it, tell him I say hey --
it’s been awhile.
He turns his attention to the groom, who’s sweating yet
desperately clinging to some semblance of cool.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
Jimmy Barnes! Do you remember me?
JIMMY BARNES
Hey, man, this is a private event.
How’d you get in here?
LUCIFER
Yes, and quite a lavish, be it
tacky one for a record producer on
the outs.
Jimmy looks around for help, but no one’s stepping up.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
Do you remember me?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 19.
14 CONTINUED: (2) 14
JIMMY BARNES
(hushed)
Of course I remember you! What do
you want?! I’m a little busy!
LUCIFER
I can’t believe you’re getting
married the day after your ex-lover
and once brightest star is murdered
in cold blood.
JIMMY BARNES
Yeah, it’s sad, but Delilah ruined
my wedding once before. I wasn’t
about to let her do it again.
LUCIFER
(locks eyes with him)
Yes. It’s hard to be rejected,
isn’t it Jimmy? Twice.
JIMMY BARNES
What?!
LUCIFER
She said you tried to get her back
recently. I’d kill someone if they
denied me once... not that that’s
possible. Come on, tell me, Jim-bo,
did you want her dead? You know I
love a juicy story.
Jimmy averts his eyes.
JIMMY BARNES
I’m not playing that mind game with
you. Of course not! I was furious
and humiliated when she dumped me,
but I think I rebounded pretty well.
He gestures at his beautiful BRIDE-TO-BE. Lucifer gives her
an appreciative glance.
LUCIFER
Clearly. Respect.
JIMMY BARNES
You should go play your games with
2Vile.
LUCIFER
The rapper?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 20.
14 CONTINUED: (3) 14
JIMMY BARNES
Yeah, Delilah dumped me for that
lunatic. They were always fighting.
I think he slapped her around a
bunch. He’s the real deal, man, and
he’s surrounded by a bunch of gun-
toting morons 24-7.
The information satisfies Lucifer, but his thirst for
taunting not quite met... Turns his attention to the bride.
LUCIFER
I’m sorry, how rude of me. Allow me *
to introduce myself...
He extends a hand. She takes it, oddly charmed. Stares at him
for a beat, feels a sudden, overwhelming urge to confess her
inner desires... or lack there of...
SUPERMODEL BRIDE
I really don’t want to have sex
with him tonight.
(to Jimmy)
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that!
Jimmy is dumbstruck. So is she.
LUCIFER
Of course you don’t! Let’s be
honest here. You’re not marrying
this human stain because you’re
actually in love with him, right?
SUPERMODEL BRIDE
No, I guess it’s more about
lifestyle.
LUCIFER
Good luck with that. He’s broke.
(she starts to cry)
Dry your tears, darling. At least
you’ll have this magical day.
(then)
Well, I should be going. Best of
luck to you crazy kids.
Lucifer turns and walks off down the aisle... a figurative
mushroom cloud in his wake.
Scene 9 - A Sinister Invitation
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 8
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 7
Lucifer cruises up the drive of a pimped-out palace that
could easily have its own very special episode of MTV Cribs.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 21.
15 CONTINUED: 15
Lucifer exits his car, rings the bell. A massive GONG sounds.
Door’s opened by a WHITE ENGLISH BUTLER.
BUTLER
Good afternoon, sir.
LUCIFER
I’m here to see the man sadly known
as 2Vile. Is he in?
BUTLER
I’m sorry, sir. He’s unavailable.
I’m afraid he’s in mourning.
LUCIFER
I have narcotics for him.
A moment.
BUTLER
Right this way, sir.
Scene 10 - Confrontation in Chaos
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 8
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 8
Lucifer follows the Butler into the den. Furniture from MOMA.
Killer city views. The ultimate in tacky Hollywood living.
2VILE’S CREW’s scattered all over the place. Hip-hop
thumping. There’s tons of weed, weapons -- it’s a real scene.
An immensely expensive PLASMA TV in the background plays NEWS
on Delilah’s death. The hot headline.
LUCIFER
Can someone please turn down this
godawful music?!
Tattooed hip-hop thug 2VILE appears through a thick haze of
POT SMOKE.
2VILE
Who’s this clown?
BUTLER
He has narcotics for you, sir.
LUCIFER
My name is Lucifer Morningstar.
2VILE
Lucifer Morningstar... that’s a
good hip-hop name.
LUCIFER
That offends me.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 22.
16 CONTINUED: 16
2VILE
What, you don’t like hip-hop?
LUCIFER
No, I most certainly do not.
2VILE
That offends me. You have a problem
with black people?
LUCIFER
Not in the slightest. I just hate
your music. And when I say “your
music,” I mean your music -- not
music made by other black people.
Without the blues, there would be no
devil’s music whatsoever. There are,
of course, many giants in the field.
Just not you. Am I being clear?
2VILE
You’re being clear all right -- if
you’re looking to get yourself
killed.
LUCIFER
Don’t waste your munitions. I’m
immortal. Tell me about Delilah.
2VILE
What’s to tell? She’s dead. *
That ignites Lucifer. He violently SHOVES 2VILE, sending him
SHATTERING THROUGH A GLASS DOOR, toppling over the balcony to
certain death just as Lucifer grabs him by his blinged-out
chains. Suspending him high above the hillside.
2VILE'S CREW react. One FIRES on impulse, bullet PINGING off
the balcony.
2VILE (CONT’D)
DON’T SHOOT HIM, YOU IDIOT!
Crew freezes. Nothing they can do. If Lucifer goes down.
2Vile goes down further. 2Vile looks up at the face of death.
2VILE (CONT’D)
I didn't kill her!
LUCIFER
Why should I believe you?
2VILE
Because I loved the bitch!
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 23.
16 CONTINUED: (2) 16
LUCIFER
People sometimes kill people with
whom they’re in love. The heart is
mysterious. Or so I’m told.
2VILE
Girl made me crazy!
LUCIFER
(drops him a bit more)
Women can do that. Doesn’t mean you
should beat them up.
2VILE
Hey, hey! Come on, we worked that
out a long time ago. I hit her ONCE
‘cause she was cheating on me!
And there it is... another piece to the puzzle. Lucifer lifts
2Vile back onto the balcony. He's a mess.
LUCIFER
With whom?
2VILE
I don’t know! She wouldn’t tell me!
Said it was a big secret. Some rich
married guy.
LUCIFER
Did she have a friend she might’ve
confided in?
2VILE
Didn’t trust no one. Her therapist *
is probably the only one who knows.
Some Dr. Linda in Beverly Hills. *
Saw her like five times a week on *
the dl. Used a fake name and *
everything. *
LUCIFER
Thank you for your time.
2Vile just stares at Lucifer. Confused. Lost. Then...
2VILE
Man, sometimes I get tired of *
frontin’, ya know. I really just *
wanted to put a ring on that finger
and a baby up in there. She was the
one. And now she’s dead.
2Vile breaks down in tears. His CREW IS HORRIFIED.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 24.
16 CONTINUED: (3) 16
LUCIFER
I like this side of you. You might
consider putting this kind of
emotion into your music. And change
your name. What does your mother
call you?
2VILE
Percy. Percy Wallace.
LUCIFER
(pause)
Never mind. Good luck with what’s
left of your short-lived career.
Lucifer starts to make his exit. But someone else is making
an entrance...
CHLOE (O.S.)
Guns down! On the floor! Down! *
Lucifer turns to see Chloe coming through the door with an
ashamed butler in tow. Her gun out. Crew lays their guns on *
the floor. Lucifer grins. Amused... and curious... *
LUCIFER
You sly dog. You did listen to me.
CHLOE
Ran the dead guy’s cellphone.
2Vile was the last person he
called.
2VILE
Oh, come on, man!
CHLOE
(to Lucifer)
What I find highly interesting is
how you made the connection on your
own.
LUCIFER
Well, I’ve been busy, my dear.
She clocks that... but first things first. She kicks the guns *
clear, confiscates them then turns to 2Vile.
CHLOE
Talk to me about Delilah--
LUCIFER
Yes, yes. We’ve been over that one,
Detective. *
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 25.
16 CONTINUED: (4) 16
She throws a shut-the-fuck-up look to Lucifer, plows on...
CHLOE
--And why you called the shooter
two days before she was murdered.
2VILE
Fine. Yeh, I called Eddie ‘cause he *
hooks me up sometimes. He met
Delilah through me. When we were
together. Whatever. Don’t make me a
killer, do it? *
CHLOE
No. But it does make you a suspect. *
2VILE
(scoffs)
What? So, everyone on Eddie's
phone’s a suspect? You joking?! *
Welcome to Celebrity Name Game. You
gonna drag half a’ Hollywood
downtown? Be like the Oscars.
Point noted, but Chloe reaches for her cuffs... Meanwhile, *
the “celebrity” comment has triggered ONE OF 2VILE'S CREW to
suddenly recognize Chloe... and completely break the
moment...
CREW 1
Wait. Aren’t you that chick from
that film?
LUCIFER
(perks up)
What’s this? What film?
CREW 1
You used to be an actress or
something, right? That teen
movie... I forget what it’s
called...
Chloe tries to hide it, but she’s literally dying right now.
And Lucifer sees it.
LUCIFER
Of course! Hot Tub High School!
That’s where I know you from!
CHLOE
(dodging, back to 2Vile)
Let’s stick to my questions, shall
we?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 26.
16 CONTINUED: (5) 16
LUCIFER
The one with that famous nude
scene! Coming out of the hot tub.
It was a complete Fast Times rip-
off, but you were like, the new *
Phoebe Cates. That was quite a nude
scene--
CHLOE
(gun in hand)
I’ve got way too many bullets in
here for you to still be talking.
She swaps her gun for handcuffs, turns back to 2Vile...
CHLOE (CONT’D)
Come on. You’re under arrest.
LUCIFER
That’s a waste of time, Detective.
I’ve just threatened his life, he’s
not our guy -- he would’ve said.
Trust me.
CHLOE
You did what?
2VILE
Yeah, isn’t that illegal?
CHLOE
Uh, little bit, yes. Okay then, *
you. Come with me.
Chloe slaps the cuffs on Lucifer instead.
LUCIFER
Ooh. With pleasure.
A smug smile doesn’t leave his lips as Chloe yanks him out. *
Scene 11 - Cuffed Curiosity
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 8
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 9
Chloe leads Lucifer out in cuffs... opens the back car door.
LUCIFER
At least perhaps now you’ll listen *
to me. Although not sure I *
understand why I’m being arrested. *
CHLOE
Because you’re interfering with a
police investigation.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 27.
17 CONTINUED: 17
CHLOE (CONT'D)
You’ve broken, I can’t even count
how many laws. And you piss me off.
LUCIFER
I can get out of these, you know.
CHLOE
Funny.
Lucifer does some Houdini-esque wriggling behind his back and
hands her the cuffs. Chloe examines the cuffs, confused. *
CHLOE (CONT’D) *
How’d you do that? You a magician *
or something? *
LUCIFER
You’re still wasting time. We
should be out there solving a
homicide and punishing those
responsible!
CHLOE
We? Are you insane? Get in the car.
I’m taking you in.
LUCIFER
But that’s boring! Not to mention *
pointless. Come on, I’ll help you,
it’ll be fun!
CHLOE
How could you possibly help me?
LUCIFER
You’d be surprised. I have a
certain skill set. I can be very
persuasive with people. Tend to see
things others cannot. *
CHLOE
So you're a psychic? *
LUCIFER
No. I can’t read people’s minds --
I’m not a Jedi. People tell me
things.
CHLOE
Really? Just... confess their sins?
Just like that?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GRAY - 3/19/15 28.
17 CONTINUED: (2) 17
LUCIFER
No, not their sins. I have no power
over people’s sins. I actually get
a bad rap for that. But their *
desires, different thing entirely.
(off her skeptical look)
I have the ability to draw out
people’s forbidden desires. Tempt
them. Taunt them. The more simple
the human, the easier it is. The
more complex? The more challenging -
- and exciting, really. But your
actual sins? The sins are on you
people.
CHLOE
(sarcastically indulging) *
I get it. The name. The whole
Lucifer thing... and desire’s like,
your super power.
LUCIFER
More like a gift from God.
(off Chloe’s deadpan look)
Look, I’m just a people person.
They feel compelled to share things
with me. And why wouldn’t they,
really? I’m pretty awesome.
CHLOE
Yeah? Prove it.
LUCIFER
That I’m awesome? Isn’t it obvious?
(fine, looks deeply at her)
Tell me, Detective. What do you
desire more than anything in this
life?
Chloe sighs. But then her eyes suddenly lock with his and she
is mesmerized...
CHLOE
I guess, when I was a little girl,
I always wanted to be a cop like my
daddy, so that one day, I could
help people...
(dropping an act)
...and make them shut up and get in
the damn car!
Ouch. Lucifer blinks. He’s been played. His powers useless on
her. She motions for him to get in. Lucifer studies her.
Both disturbed and fascinated by her.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 29.
17 CONTINUED: (3) 17
LUCIFER
You’re not like a Jedi or
something, are you?
CHLOE *
Get in. The car. *
LUCIFER *
Wait. I know something you don’t *
know. *
CHLOE *
Yeah? What’s that? *
LUCIFER *
Won’t say. Unless you take me with *
you on this. Please? Come on, I got *
to 2VILE, didn’t I? *
CHLOE *
You’re unbelievable. *
(squints at him) *
Huh. You don’t strike me as a *
celebrity stalker. You aren’t *
related to her. You weren’t *
sleeping with her, were you--? *
LUCIFER *
Surprisingly, no. *
CHLOE *
Then why do you care about this so *
much? About Delilah? *
LUCIFER *
(rattled/tries to hide it) *
I... just do. *
CHLOE *
(this is a new side...) *
Fine. But if your little clue *
doesn’t pan out-- *
(holds up the cuffs) *
I’m puttin’ these back on, and *
they’re gonna stay on. *
Lucifer cracks a smile, nods. She gets in the car and he *
follows. BOTH OF THEM growing more and more intrigued with *
the other... *
END OF ACT TWO *
LUCIFER - Pilot - GRAY - 3/19/15 30.
ACT THREE
Scene 12 - Balancing Act
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 8
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 8
Lucifer’s in the backseat. Chloe drives, on the phone.
CHLOE (ON PHONE)
Yeah, therapist in Beverly Hills
with first name Linda. See if
Delilah was a client--
LUCIFER
Actually, she had a pseudonym.
Which I happen to know. Penny Lane.
CHLOE (ON PHONE)
Delilah could’ve gone by Penny
Lane... Okay, thanks.
She hangs up. A beat of silence as he stares at her,
grinning... making her uncomfortable.
CHLOE (CONT’D)
What? Don’t be so smug -- hasn’t
panned out yet.
LUCIFER
No, that’s not it... I knew I
recognized you.
CHLOE
Right. So you saw my boobs. Never heard
that one before.
LUCIFER
And your ass, don’t forget. A thing
of beauty--
CHLOE
I will pull this car over and shoot
you.
LUCIFER
I told you. I’m immortal.
(off her eye roll) *
Is the movie why you have such a
chip on your shoulder?
CHLOE
Trust me, that’s low on the list of
things I have to live down.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 31.
18 CONTINUED: 18
LUCIFER
Right. Attractive female cop
struggling to be taken seriously in
a man’s man’s world. That it?
CHLOE
Something like that.
LUCIFER
Who cares what the other pigs say?
You’re a kickass detective -- *
should listen to me a bit more
maybe but -- you know who you are. *
CHLOE
I know who I am. There’s just a lot
of people out there who have a
problem with it. Other cops mostly.
LUCIFER
They’re threatened. You’re clearly *
smart and have notable instincts. *
Ignore them. Trust yourself. *
This man continues to surprise her... which also annoys her. *
Her cell goes off... saved by the ring... *
CHLOE (ON PHONE)
Detective Dancer... Really? Okay, *
text it to me. Thanks. *
She hangs up. Huh.
LUCIFER
What?
CHLOE
(reluctant, but...)
Looks like what you said stands up. *
There’s a Penny Lane who sees a Dr. *
Linda Martin. Address in Beverly *
Hills. *
LUCIFER
Excellent. I’ll clear my schedule. *
Chloe shakes her head. Although, something about this madness *
makes sense. Another call interrupts, thank God.
CHLOE (ON PHONE) *
Yeah... What? You’re kidding me. Is *
she okay?... Her father was *
supposed to pick her up today... Of *
course he’s not. *
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 32.
18 CONTINUED: (2) 18
CHLOE (ON PHONE) (CONT'D)
Okay, I’ll be there as soon I can.
(hangs up, annoyed)
We have to make a pit stop.
LUCIFER
No. Absolutely not.
CHLOE
I have to get my kid from school.
She got into a fight.
LUCIFER
Can’t she get herself home?
CHLOE
She’s seven.
LUCIFER
I’m not here to help you run
errands. I’m here to help you solve
a homicide.
Chloe just hits the gas, pinning him to the back seat.
19 EXT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - STREET - DAY 19
Chloe pulls up in front.
CHLOE
Wait here.
LUCIFER
With pleasure. I despise children.
Chloe frowns, gets out, locks the car doors and heads into
the school. Lucifer stares at the car lock, it pops up and he
gets out to stretch, lights a cigarette when... A MILFY MOM
crosses his path and disappears into the school. Lucifer
likes what he sees. Decides to follow her in.
Scene 13 - Lucifer's Playground
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 8
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 9
Lucifer looks around, but the Milfy Woman has disappeared.
Lucifer frowns, sits down in the lobby -- LIT CIGARETTE STILL
IN HAND -- next to a precocious little thing named BEATRICE.
TRIXIE
I don’t think you’re allowed to
smoke in here.
LUCIFER
Oh dear, what will become of me?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 33.
20 CONTINUED: 20
TRIXIE
My mother is a police officer. She
could arrest you.
LUCIFER
(smiles, isn’t this fun)
I think I might know your mother.
We’re working together. On a case.
Top secret.
TRIXIE
You know my mother?
LUCIFER
Unfortunately.
TRIXIE
What’s your name?
LUCIFER
Lucifer.
TRIXIE
(wide-eyed; hushed)
Like the devil?!
LUCIFER
(grins, pleased)
Exactly.
TRIXIE
My name is Beatrice. But everyone
calls me Trixie.
LUCIFER
That’s a hooker’s name.
TRIXIE
What’s a hooker?
LUCIFER
Ask your mother.
(then)
Why are you in trouble?
TRIXIE
See that girl over there?
She nods at a MEAN GIRL sitting across the way.
LUCIFER
The ugly one?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 34.
20 CONTINUED: (2) 20
TRIXIE
Yes! She was bullying me. She created
a fake Snapchat account and used it
to make fun of me! So I kicked her in
the no-no-touch zone!
Lucifer pauses. Trixie points to his crotch. Lucifer nods.
LUCIFER
I see. Well-played.
He gets up, walks over to MEAN GIRL and sits beside her.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
Hello, Mean Girl. Did you know that
you will never amount to anything
in this life, and that there’s a
special section of Hell reserved
for bullies. So, have fun!
Lucifer's eyes peel open, revealing a flash of horrid ones
beneath. Mean Girl bursts into tears. And as she does, she
suddenly slows. In fact everything around her slows...
Lucifer’s grin fades. We now know what this means. Amenadiel
is near. Lucifer stands, looks down to the far end of the
hallway. Children pass in SURREAL MOTION, a shadow looming
beyond them, when suddenly...
A distorted voice calls out to Lucifer from behind. He turns.
IT'S CHLOE.
CHLOE
Hello?! What'd you do?
Everything has slipped back to NORMAL SPEED. The kids in the
hall, Trixie and crying Mean Girl. Lucifer recovers quickly.
LUCIFER
I think someone’s feeling a little
guilty. Isn’t that right, child?
More tears from Meanie. A smile from Trixie. Off Chloe: WTF? *
Scene 14 - Tension at the Schoolyard
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 7
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 8
Lucifer, Chloe and Trixie walk out as DAN ESPINOZA arrives.
What’s he doing here?
TRIXIE
Hi, Daddy.
Oh. That’s why.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 35.
21 CONTINUED: 21
CHLOE
Wow. Shocker. You’re late.
DAN
Gimme a break, I’m putting a case
to bed.
CHLOE
Right, like I’m not working a case
too. You remember -- the one you
tried to steal from me?
DAN
You mean the open and shut one. You
did open and shut it, right?
Off Chloe’s silence -- clearly, that’s a no. *
LUCIFER *
Have you been going rogue, dear? *
Exciting. *
CHLOE
I’m not going rogue. I’m just being *
diligent. I need to get this right, *
Dan. It’s a high profile case. *
DAN
Exactly. Which is why you need to
be smart about it-- *
Lucifer clocks Trixie sticking her fingers in her ears.
LUCIFER
She is smart. You’re a dimwit. But
perhaps you should refrain from
arguing in front of the child. It’s
unbecoming. Not to mention another
waste of my time. Which is far more
important. To me.
A moment. Dan looks at Chloe.
DAN
Who’s this idiot? New boyfriend? I
thought we agreed not to--
Lucifer grabs Dan in a firm handshake. Gets up close, says:
LUCIFER
Allow me to introduce myself. I’m a
man who could make you see things
that would drive you blind. Or pull
your spine out through your mouth.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 35A.
21 CONTINUED: (2) 21
LUCIFER (CONT'D)
Your choice. But I wouldn’t do any
of these things in front of the
child. You know why? Because I, for
one, have excellent manners.
A beat.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GRAY - 3/19/15 36.
21 CONTINUED: (3) 21
DAN
I don’t know whether to laugh or
shoot you.
LUCIFER
Surprise me.
TRIXIE
Isn’t he funny, Daddy?!
CHLOE
(to Dan)
Hey, can you drop Trix at my
mother’s? Thanks! Gotta go!
(to Trixie)
Gimme a kiss, Trixella! Mommy loves
you so much! And... good job
standing up to the mean girl!
TRIXIE
Thanks, Mommy!
(then)
What’s a hooker?
CHLOE
Daddy’ll tell you.
Dan nods his thanks, takes Trixie by the hand and walks off.
Trixie turns back.
TRIXIE
Bye, Lucifer! Nice to meet you!
Lucifer says nothing. Just frowns. But it’s yet another
surprise for Chloe.
CHLOE
I think she likes you.
LUCIFER
Of course she does. What’s not to *
like? *
END OF ACT THREE *
LUCIFER - Pilot - GRAY - 3/19/15 37.
ACT FOUR *
Scene 15 - Tension in the Waiting Room
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 7
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 9
Lucifer and Chloe wait... *
LUCIFER *
Was your offspring planned or a *
mistake? *
CHLOE *
Excuse me? *
(off his you-heard-me look) *
Planned. Sort of. *
LUCIFER *
Hmm. Explain to me the human desire *
to procreate? Never understood it. *
Children are hideous little *
creatures. Terrible, taxing burdens. *
(off her look) *
Oh, your kid’s fine. I mean, nothing *
to crow about... but nothing to be *
too embarrassed about, either. *
Chloe just stares at him for a beat, dumbfounded. *
CHLOE *
Are you at all aware of how dickish *
you sound? *
Lucifer locks eyes with her... trying to work his mojo again. *
LUCIFER *
Speaking of dicks -- why was that *
dumdum you were married to *
pressuring you to close the case? *
CHLOE *
No reason. *
LUCIFER *
(frowns, not used to this) *
Strange. *
CHLOE *
Yes, you are. *
LUCIFER *
No, I’m still not affecting you. *
CHLOE *
Actually, you’re making me *
nauseous. *
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GRAY - 3/19/15 38.
21A CONTINUED: 21A
Lucifer studies her for a beat, intrigue now verging on *
concern. *
LUCIFER *
Hmm, did My Father send you? *
Dr. Linda Martin pokes her head out... *
DR. LINDA MARTIN *
Okay Detective, I’ll see you now. *
Scene 16 - Charm and Confessions
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 8
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 9
Lucifer and Chloe sit opposite the therapist, DR. LINDA
MARTIN, very uptight and very put-together.
CHLOE
I’d like to ask you a few questions
about Delilah...
Linda nods, but she can’t take her eyes off Lucifer. He nods
and smiles, very understanding.
LUCIFER
You’re thinking about it, aren’t
you?
LINDA
What?
LUCIFER
It’s not a good idea. I’m like
walking heroin. Very habit-forming.
Never ends well.
CHLOE
I’m sorry, do you two know each
other?
LUCIFER
No, but I know that look.
LINDA
(trying to snap out of it)
I don’t know what you’re talking
about.
LUCIFER
(turns to Chloe)
It’s interesting because you don’t
look at me that way.
CHLOE
What way?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GRAY - 3/19/15 38A.
22 CONTINUED: 22
LUCIFER
With carnal fascination.
CHLOE
That’s because it doesn’t exist.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 39.
22 CONTINUED: 22
LUCIFER
No, you see, that’s just it... with
most women it does. I tend to
appeal to the dark, mischievous
heart within all of you. But you,
Detective -- you seem oddly immune
to my charms.
CHLOE
Referring to them as charms is a
stretch. Truth be told, I find you
repulsive. Like on a chemical
level. Seriously, you’re gross. I
mean, you flat out give me the
heebie-jeebies.
LUCIFER
Fascinating.
LINDA
You say it’s fascinating. But I can *
see it disturbs you, doesn’t it? *
Deeply.
Lucifer now turns to Linda. Huh. She just read him pretty
damn well. What-the-F is going on lately? Chloe plows on... *
CHLOE
Dr. Martin, we know Delilah was
having a clandestine affair with a
wealthy married man. Just tell us
his name and we’ll be on our way.
LINDA
I’m sorry, I can’t do that.
LUCIFER
(aside to Chloe) *
She’s one of the complex ones.
(then leans in to Linda)
Linda... darling... tell me. *
LINDA
I can’t. I want to!! But I can’t!
You’re the devil!
LUCIFER
Correct. Now... tell me, Dr.
Martin. I know you want to...
LINDA
(really struggling)
Oh, darn... it’s really juicy, too.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 40.
22 CONTINUED: (2) 22
CHLOE
(flummoxed) *
Did you ruffie her? This is *
unbelievable.
LUCIFER
It’s not her fault. She’s just
reacting to me. Watch and learn.
(back to Linda)
The answer is yes. We can take a *
trip to pound town if we must. But *
you have to tell us, Linda. *
LINDA
(bursting)
Mmmmmmokay, it’s Grey Cooper.
CHLOE
Grey Cooper? Seriously? That is
pretty juicy.
LUCIFER
(disgusted)
The actor? The one married to Amanda
What’s-her-face? Oh, he’s horrible.
So square-jawed and handsome. So
vanilla. I’m really quite *
disappointed in Delilah. Truly
terrible taste in the opposite sex.
CHLOE
Thank you doctor, we’ll be in touch.
(to Lucifer)
Let’s go.
LUCIFER
Of course, but I made a deal. I need
to hold up my end of the bargain.
CHLOE
(incredulous) *
You’re not actually talking about *
having sex with her?? Now? *
Lucifer looks at Chloe. She’s right. This can wait. He looks
at Linda, who smiles languidly, shifts in her seat...
LINDA
I do a lot of yoga. I am freakishly
flexible... wanna see?
(then)
Wow, really tried to keep that in.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 41.
22 CONTINUED: (4) 22
LUCIFER
(gets up)
You tried. That’s what matters.
(then)
I do apologize, but I’m going to
have to take a rain check. I will
be back.
LINDA
I certainly hope so.
LUCIFER
My word is my bond.
Chloe shakes her head, beyond stymied, following Lucifer out.
Scene 17 - Chaos on Set
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 8
- Characters: 7
- Dialogue: 8
Lucifer walks with purpose down a dingy street, pushing his
way past a GROUP OF ONLOOKERS crowded behind a barrier. As he
starts to pass, a feeble TRAFFIC COP tries to stop him.
TRAFFIC COP
Sir. Uh. You have to stay behind
the barricade--
Lucifer ignores him, stepping casually past the barricade
when suddenly, a MUSCLE CAR comes SPEEDING around the corner.
Pursued by TWO COP CARS. Lights. Sirens. And GUNFIRE!
Muscle car’s tire BLOWS. Car FLIPS. And CRASH-SLIDES right
towards Lucifer, who doesn't move as it skids to a halt
inches from him. When we HEAR...
24 EXT. DOWNTOWN - INDUSTRIAL AREA - CONTINUOUS 24
A.D.(O.S)
WHO THE FU(air-horn) IS THIS GUY?!
TRANSITION TO: this same moment over A VIDEO MONITOR... where
a pissed-off A.D. storms out from behind it. We’re on a film
set. And Lucifer has just fucked up the big shot. Chloe
hurries in behind him, couple UNIFORMS in her wake. She
flashes her badge.
CHLOE
He's with me! Sorry.
Lucifer eyes the STUNT ACTOR being helped out of the *
overturned car. He's square-jawed, handsome, and vanilla.
But...
LUCIFER
You're not Grey Cooper.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 42.
24 CONTINUED: 24
A.D.
No! Of course not! What the hell is
this?
CHLOE
We need to speak with Grey Cooper.
Scene 18 - Secrets Unraveled
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 7
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 8
Lucifer and Chloe now with the real GREY COOPER... same cuts *
and bruises as the stunt guy. The uniforms stand by. *
GREY COOPER *
God, Delilah, yeah... heard about *
that this morning. Can’t believe *
it. We did a movie together last *
year. Got pretty close. *
LUCIFER
Lovers?
GREY COOPER
Friends.
LUCIFER
Friends who were lovers?
Grey frowns. Who is this asshole? Chloe gives Lucifer a look. *
CHLOE *
Settle down. I’ll handle the
questions, thank you.
(to Grey) *
Mr. Cooper, when did you last have *
contact with Delilah? *
LUCIFER
Sorry, I just have one more
question before you proceed with
the boring ones--
(turns to a confused Grey)
What do you want more than
anything, Mr. Cooper? What is your
deepest, darkest desire? When you
close your eyes what do you see?
Chloe rolls her eyes. Here we go.
GREY COOPER
I'm the President of the United
States.
LUCIFER
Ha! Who’s the devil now?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 43.
25 CONTINUED: 25
Grey frowns -- confused by his bold admission. Lucifer looks *
to Chloe: Impressed? She is. Slightly. Chloe takes the baton. *
CHLOE
Those are some pretty big
aspirations there, Mr. Cooper.
GREY COOPER
(embarrassed/plays casual) *
Well. After the acting and, stuff--
CHLOE
Oh, don’t be embarrassed. Hell, if *
Arnold can do it, right? But ya *
know, you wouldn’t want any nasty *
secrets screwin’ that up, would you? *
GREY COOPER
No... I wouldn’t. *
CHLOE
Better to pull the skeletons out
now... public’s very forgetful. *
LUCIFER
More importantly, why would you
want to be a politician? I mean you
get to make movies? Isn’t that more *
fun? Not that I like yours much. *
A BLACK SUV rolls up behind them... *
GREY COOPER *
Is there a point to this? *
CHLOE *
Mr. Cooper, were you having an *
affair with Delilah? *
His mouth drops open... at a loss... when: *
AMANDA *
Honey, have you been getting my *
texts? I thought you were breaking *
for lunch like a half-hour ago-- *
AMANDA BELLO, a famous actress in her own right, walks up
behind Grey. Clocks Lucifer, Chloe and the weird vibe.
AMANDA (CONT’D)
What’s going on?
GREY COOPER
These people are detectives.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 44.
25 CONTINUED: (2) 25
AMANDA *
(confused)
Real ones?
CHLOE
Yes, ma’am. Well, I am.
LUCIFER
(takes in Amanda)
You’re really quite striking in
person. Luminous, actually.
AMANDA
Thank you!
LUCIFER
Interesting... I’ve never been very
fond of you on the big screen.
AMANDA
Thank you...?
LUCIFER *
I’m sorry, Lucifer... Morningstar. *
They shake hands. Lock eyes. The LUCIFER EFFECT gearing up...
AMANDA
Wow. Great name. What’s this about?
CHLOE
We had some questions. About Delilah.
Amanda lets go of Lucifer, nods to Chloe in that heartfelt way.
AMANDA
Oh. Yes. That’s so sad.
GREY COOPER
Yeah... very... sad... *
Grey wipes his brow... sweating nervously. As he does, Chloe *
zeroes in on a watch on his wrist -- IDENTICAL TO EDDIE’S. *
CHLOE *
Your watch. Where’d you get it? *
GREY COOPER *
Oh... um, it’s a prop... *
AMANDA *
(casual but knows something) *
No, that’s the one Delilah gave you, *
isn’t it? For Time Will Tell. *
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 45.
25 CONTINUED: (3) 25
GREY COOPER *
(chuckles uncomfortably) *
Oh, right. That’s the movie we did. *
It was a... wrap gift. *
CHLOE *
She give a ten thousand dollar *
watch to the whole crew? *
GREY COOPER *
Oh, no. Just me. Far as I know. *
‘Cause we were... ya know, co-stars *
and everything. *
LUCIFER *
(locks eyes with Grey again) *
Gonna have to lie better than that *
if you wanna be president. *
GREY COOPER *
(devilish aside) *
I know, right? *
LUCIFER *
So you were sleeping with her then? *
GREY COOPER *
Oh, yeah. *
AMANDA *
Uh, I can hear you, Grey. *
CHLOE *
So can I. *
GREY COOPER *
(still whispers to Lucifer) *
Crap. I just said that out loud, *
didn’t I? In front of people. *
Police people. And my wife. *
AMANDA *
Whatever. Not like I didn’t know, *
Grey. You’re a terrible liar. And *
actor, by the way. *
GREY COOPER *
You knew? *
AMANDA *
Of course. Why do you think I’ve *
been sleeping with Bobby? *
*
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 46.
25 CONTINUED: (4) 25
Grey throws a shocked look over to his bodyguard, BOBBY, who *
about chokes on his own tongue. *
AMANDA (CONT’D) *
And lemme tell you, it’s gooood. I *
climb that man like a tree. *
GREY COOPER *
Are you serious?! My bodyguard?! *
What a cliché! *
AMANDA *
Oh, I’m a cliché?! Well, you’re a *
dick. *
Grey’s not sure where to direct his anger. So he attacks
Bobby. Amanda tries separate them. Lucifer and Chloe watch
the clusterfuck for a sec, then Chloe nods at the uniforms.
CHLOE
Arrest them.
(turns to Lucifer)
One of ‘em’s gotta be guilty.
LUCIFER
Now that was fun.
Chloe can’t help but crack the slightest smug smile. As this
time... they watch the chaos they BOTH created. *
END OF ACT FOUR
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 47.
ACT FIVE
Scene 19 - A Moment of Clarity
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 7
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 9
A VIGIL honoring Delilah on the sidewalk. Candles and letters
around a small TV playing one of Delilah’s performances.
27 INT. LUX - NIGHT 27
Chloe’s got a beer in one hand, cell in the other -- smug *
smile gone. Lucifer sips a scotch, spinning THAT COIN. Maze *
stands a few yards away, watching disapprovingly.
CHLOE (ON PHONE) *
I know. Check again. What about *
their assistants’ phones, *
nannies?... Fan pages? Twitter? *
(sighs, listens) *
Okay... Call if anything changes. *
(hangs up, slugs her beer) *
Grey and Amanda have zero *
connection to the shooter or the *
driver. Maybe the shooter wasn’t *
working for anyone. Maybe this *
thing does start and end with him. *
LUCIFER
No. I don’t believe it.
CHLOE
He did have the same watch as Grey.
Can’t be a coincidence. Maybe *
Delilah gave it to him, too? Kind *
of her go-to gift. *
LUCIFER
But that would imply she was
sleeping with that maggot.
CHLOE
Let's see, Jimmy, 2VILE, Grey
Cooper... She was sleeping with
three other maggots. Not like she
had tremendous discretion.
(another gulp of beer) *
God... why am I here?
LUCIFER
Wrong deity, but that is the
eternal question, isn’t it?
CHLOE
No. I mean, here. In a bar. With
you.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 48.
27 CONTINUED: 27
They look at each other. Lucifer serious now... *
LUCIFER
I don’t know, Detective. Despite *
your proclaimed revulsion, you *
can’t deny there’s a connection *
between us. Tell me... what do you *
really want? *
CHLOE
(half-smiles, mocking him)
You mean, WHAT do I desire more
than anything in this life?
LUCIFER *
Yes. No tricks -- not that they
work with you, you freak. Tell me.
I’m curious.
Lucifer finally seems genuine here. She loosens up. Maybe
it’s the beer... maybe not.
CHLOE
I suppose what I was saying before
wasn’t all a lie... I do want to
help people... I dunno...
Lucifer frowns, more teasing than judging.
LUCIFER
Your purity repulses me. *
CHLOE
Well, your lack of it isn’t wildly
attractive either.
A moment shared. They tip their drinks to each other. Touché. *
CHLOE (CONT’D)
My father was a cop. A pretty great
one. My mother was an actress.
Pretty cheesy one. I tried the *
acting thing. Took my top off, not
exactly contributing to the
betterment of society.
LUCIFER
--disagree--
CHLOE
Anyway. Didn’t like how it made me
feel about myself. So I quit.
Became a cop like my old man.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 49.
27 CONTINUED: (2) 27
CHLOE (CONT'D)
Endured the staring and teasing
from the entire department. ‘Til I *
became a detective and found a
whole new way to ostracize myself.
LUCIFER
Ah. The reason your ex-maggot was *
pressuring you to close this. *
CHLOE
Yeah. Few months ago, I saw a case *
differently than a lot of people in
the department -- including my ex.
Stuck my neck out ...backfired. Now
most of ‘em hate me. And nobody’ll
work with me.
LUCIFER
I’m available. *
Chloe shakes her head, but can’t help but smile. Maze *
interrupts to grab glasses, when a familiar MUSIC CUE plays -- *
a SONG CALLED “TIME WILL TELL.” ON THE BAR TV: NEWS COVERAGE *
showing the outpouring of support from Delilah’s fans. A
REPORTER commenting on the recent rise of her album sales.
MAZE
(to Lucifer, bit spiteful)
Too bad your little protegé’s not
around to cash the check.
Chloe’s face goes slack -- light bulb moment.
CHLOE *
Oh wow. Delilah gave Grey a watch for *
the movie Time Will Tell. Get it? *
LUCIFER *
Very poetic. *
CHLOE *
She gave one to someone else, too. *
But not to the drug dealer... *
Scene 20 - Midnight Showdown in the Studio
- Overall: 9.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 9
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 8
Late night session. A YOUNG BOY BAND recording. Tired mixers
at work. And... JIMMY, harping on a Justin Bieber-y kid. Door *
booms open. TECHS and MIXERS curse as Lucifer and Chloe
interrupt the session, making a bee-line for Jimmy.
JIMMY BARNES
Really?! Wasn’t enough to destroy
my wedding, huh--
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 50.
28 CONTINUED: 28
CHLOE
How’re the album sales doing?
Jimmy winces at that one. Hides his fear. But not well.
JIMMY BARNES *
What album? *
CHLOE *
The soundtrack for Time Will Tell. *
That YOU produced... Whitney *
Houston reached the top 10 for
album sales after her death.
Michael Jackson hit the
stratosphere! I’m not sure you’ll
achieve the same heights by having
Delilah killed, but that’s still a *
buttload of royalty checks comin’ *
your way. Not a bad year for you.
Guess you need that cash, huh?
Which is why you had to pay the *
shooter with your watch. *
LUCIFER
The watch Delilah gave you. Now *
that’s just sick, but then you are,
so...
Jimmy’s sweaty face turns red. Then. He does something
unexpected -- he GRABS one of the BAND BOYS as a shield and
whips out a fucking GUN! Chloe’s gun is out in a blink.
CHLOE
WHOA! Hey! Jimmy?!
The room freezes.
JIMMY BARNES
I made her! And she ruined me! She
humiliated me! She owes me!
Lucifer doesn't seem threatened by this escalation. Because
he isn't. He advances on Jimmy.
LUCIFER
You’re not God, Jimmy. You didn’t
make her. But you did destroy her.
So I’m going to punish you.
JIMMY BARNES *
Back off, you freak! I mean it! I’m *
not going to prison for that bitch. *
NO chance. *
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 50A.
28 CONTINUED: (2) 28
But Lucifer keeps approaching. Now Chloe has to jump in. *
CHLOE
Listen to him! Back off!
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - LAVENDER - 3/21/15 51.
28 CONTINUED: (3) 28
LUCIFER
It’s fine. I told you. I’m immortal.
Jimmy’s twitchy. Lucifer gets way too close and Jimmy SWINGS
his gun up to fire on Lucifer when BOOM, BOOM! Chloe gets off
two shots first. One hits a lamp. The other nails Jimmy. He *
drops to the ground. Dead. And here's the fun part... LUCIFER
IS PISSED.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!
CHLOE
(what?!)
He was going to kill you!
LUCIFER
No-no-no you just let him off too
easy! He needs to suffer! He needs
to pay! He needs to feel the pain,
not escape it!
CHLOE
(trying to understand him)
Well, don’t worry. I’m sure where
he’s going the pain and
punishment’s coming...
LUCIFER
(sighs, irritated)
Actually, no. It’s not. And why?
Because I am here, and--
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. All eyes were off Jimmy who is still
ticking and FIRES off three shots at Chloe. One LANDS. Chloe
goes down.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
No!
Chloe staggers. BLOOD coming up fast. Lucifer hurries to her
side. She looks up at him through clouded, murky eyes.
CHLOE
I don’t want to die...
LUCIFER
I won’t let you... My father will
just have to wait for you.
The moment is interrupted by more SHOTS from Jimmy. Lucifer
protects Chloe now -- using his own body as a shield. He
cringes. Fuck that hurts. WE see it, SHE doesn’t.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 52.
28 CONTINUED: (3) 28
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
Wait here a second...
Lucifer turns and WE STAY IN CHLOE’S POV -- her vision
blurred. Distorted. She’s catching only glimpses... but sees
Lucifer walk over... grab Jimmy by the neck and SLAM him up
against a nearby glass booth.
The glass cracks in a spiderweb... AND WE SEE Lucifer’s
broken, demonic face in the shattered glass behind Jimmy.
JIMMY BARNES
Please. Don’t kill me.
Lucifer flips Jimmy around to see THAT HORRID, NIGHTMARISH
REFLECTION.
LUCIFER
You’re going to wish that was all I
did to you.
And then CHLOE’S VISION is lost to BLACK and we HEAR Jimmy’s
blood-curdling SCREAM over a moment in DARKNESS...
Which then gives way to a BRIGHT TUNNEL OF LIGHT... Oh, wait.
It’s just a regular light. A HOSPITAL BED LIGHT...
Scene 21 - Awakening in Tension
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 8
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 9
Chloe is coming to. She finds Lucifer hovering over her.
Looking more like an angel than a devil. Good lighting.
LUCIFER
Well, look who’s back.
CHLOE
(groggy)
How long have I been out?
LUCIFER
Three years.
CHLOE
What?!
Lucifer smiles. The bastard just can’t help himself.
CHLOE (CONT’D)
You’re such an ass.
(then, remembering)
He was firing at you. Why are you
not more... dead?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GREEN DRAFT - 3/13/15 53.
29 CONTINUED: 29
LUCIFER
You're having a very hard time with
the immortal thing, aren't you?
CHLOE *
(struggling to make sense) *
Must’ve been delirious from the *
blood loss. *
LUCIFER *
Whatever helps you sleep, my dear. *
CHLOE *
What happened to Jimmy?
LUCIFER
He got what he deserved.
That hangs there. Another mystery Chloe will have to deal *
with later. She changes gears.
CHLOE
Well, I'm pretty sure I'd be dead
if you hadn’t helped me. So, thank
you.
LUCIFER
I'm sorry. I missed that last part.
CHLOE
(slightly annoyed smile)
Thank you. *
LUCIFER *
You're welcome.
Lucifer, suddenly uncomfortable with the warm exchange:
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
Besides, you're far too interesting
to let die.
CHLOE
You saved my life because you find
me... interesting?
LUCIFER
Wildly irritating as well, but yes. *
Lucifer grins, but can’t hide that there’s more to it than *
that. Chloe studies him, frowns... either can she... *
CHLOE *
So now what? *
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - GRAY - 3/19/15 54.
29 CONTINUED: (2) 29
LUCIFER
Well, obviously I’ve proven myself
as an invaluable crime-fighting
tool. You’re a pariah in the
department. I think this is the
beginning of a beautiful friendship,
don’t you?
CHLOE
Who the hell are you?
LUCIFER
I told you. I’m --
TRIXIE (O.S.)
Lucifer!
It’s Chloe’s daughter, Trixie. Ex-husband Dan in tow. Trixie
hugs Lucifer, which makes him hugely uncomfortable.
LUCIFER
Now, now. That’s enough, child.
Save some of this unpleasantness
for your mother.
Chloe glows at the sight of her daughter, tears up as Trixie
hugs her. Lucifer and Dan eye each other for a tense beat.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
I think she’s one hell of a
homicide detective, don’t you?
DAN
Yes. She is.
(to Chloe)
I’m happy for you.
CHLOE
Not sure you are, or just relieved
I didn’t cause problems again.
DAN
I’m trying to compliment you.
CHLOE
Okay... I’ll take it... thanks. And *
how ‘bout the department... They *
happy for me? *
DAN
Gettin’ there. *
(not)
You need to be more careful. You
should’ve had backup.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 55.
29 CONTINUED: (3) 29
Lucifer jumps, defending himself...
LUCIFER
She had back up.
Dan looks at him. Right. As much as that challenges him, he
decides to keep it polite.
DAN
Thank you. For helping her.
Lucifer, on the other hand, doesn’t keep it polite:
LUCIFER
That’s hard for you, isn’t it? Not
to be a douche.
Dan’s mouth drops open, wants to slug him, but Lucifer’s
already halfway to the door.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
I’d stay for the family reunion,
but it’s giving me IBS. Look
forward to seeing you soon, Chloe--
CHLOE
--I don’t--
LUCIFER
--Bye now. Glad you’re not dead.
Lucifer leaves but looks back for a moment, curious as to why
he gives a good goddamn about any them. He frowns, troubled.
Scene 22 - Tensions of Mercy
- Overall: 8.0
- Concept: 8
- Plot: 7
- Characters: 9
- Dialogue: 8
Lucifer pulls up. Gets out, handing his keys to the VALET who
greets him with a smile and says... Nothing. Because he has
just slipped into SLOW MOTION. Lucifer sighs.
LUCIFER
Damnit.
Close enough. Lucifer turns. Amenadiel watches from across
the street. They meet in the middle of slow-flowing traffic.
LUCIFER (CONT’D)
What do you want from me?
AMENADIEL
I’ve been watching you, Lucifer.
LUCIFER
Perv.
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 56.
30 CONTINUED: 30
AMENADIEL
And I’m not sure I like what I see.
You’re showing restraint. Mercy.
LUCIFER
Scared I’m turning away from the
Dark Side, bro? Gonna give you a
little competition for Dad’s fav?
Don’t worry, I’m not.
Something flashes in Lucifer’s eyes -- something evil.
AMENADIEL
I don’t believe you. The human *
world can be even more painful than *
hell, Lucifer. Stay here, and *
prepare to feel things you have *
never felt before. *
LUCIFER
(stone cold serious now)
Do not threaten me, Amenadiel. You *
won’t win.
AMENADIEL
(flash of anger) *
Then go BACK!! *
LUCIFER
(realizing... pleased) *
You’re the one who’s threatened. *
AMENADIEL
My hatred of you grows stronger
with each visit.
LUCIFER
Wouldn’t have it any other way,
pal. Look forward to eating your
heart one day. Peace.
Amenadiel turns and walks off. Lucifer watches him go...
31 INT. LUX - MOMENTS LATER 31
Lucifer drops down at the piano. Maze watches from a short
distance. What looks like A DAGGER spins on its point in the
palm of her hand. But before we get a good look, she stops
it... walks over to Lucifer... quiet.
LUCIFER
I sense your disapproval, Maze.
What is it?
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 56A.
31 CONTINUED: 31
MAZE
I just can’t understand why you
would save a human life.
Lucifer weighs this. Not sure himself. But plays it light...
(CONTINUED)
LUCIFER - Pilot - CHERRY - 3/18/15 57.
31 CONTINUED: (2) 31
LUCIFER
There’s something different about
her. Something I can’t figure out.
And it vexes me.
Maze eyes him, her own concern brewing.
MAZE
Maybe it’s not her that’s
different.
LUCIFER
Is this where I ask: whatever do
you mean?
MAZE
Stop caring! You’re The Devil!
LUCIFER
Yes. I am...
But there’s doubt in his eyes as he launches into an eerie
rendition of “Gimme Shelter” which continues over...
32 INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE/WAITING ROOM - DAY (DAY 4) 32 *
Dr. Linda Martin sits when she notices a little red light
BLINKING above her door. She’s confused -- doesn’t have an
appointment right now. She gets up, opens the door...
Linda startles. Because Lucifer is standing right there.
LUCIFER
Here’s the deal. We can have as
much naked cuddle time as you
desire. But I need you to listen to
me too. I have a few things I’d
like to discuss with you. An
existential dilemma or two. Deal?
Linda smiles. Deal. And as the door shuts behind them WE SMASH
TO BLACK and Van Halen’s “Runnin’ with the Devil” kicks in.
THE END
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
| Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
|---|---|---|---|
| lucifer morningstar |
|
The character arc of Lucifer Morningstar is compelling, as it explores themes of identity, morality, and redemption. However, the arc could benefit from clearer stakes and more defined relationships with other characters. While Lucifer's internal struggle is well-established, the external conflicts he faces could be more pronounced to enhance the narrative tension. | To improve Lucifer's character arc, consider introducing a significant antagonist that embodies the consequences of his actions, forcing him to confront his choices more directly. Additionally, deepen his relationships with supporting characters to create emotional stakes that resonate with the audience. This could involve exploring his connections with characters who challenge his worldview or represent the ideals he struggles against. By enhancing these elements, Lucifer's journey toward redemption will feel more impactful and relatable. |
| chloe dancer |
|
Chloe's character arc is compelling, showcasing her growth from skepticism to acceptance. However, the transition may feel rushed if not adequately developed, particularly in how she reconciles her professional integrity with the supernatural elements introduced by Lucifer. Additionally, her role as a single mother could be explored further to add depth to her character and motivations. | To improve Chloe's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that highlight her internal struggles and the impact of her dual roles as a detective and a mother. This could involve moments where her personal life directly intersects with her work, forcing her to make difficult choices. Additionally, providing more gradual exposure to Lucifer's world could enhance her transformation, allowing the audience to witness her evolving perspective in a more believable manner. |
| amenadiel | Throughout the screenplay, Amenadiel's character arc evolves from a rigid enforcer of celestial law to a more nuanced figure who begins to understand the complexities of free will and familial love. Initially, he is portrayed as a strict adherent to divine order, viewing Lucifer's rebellion as a personal affront. As the story progresses, Amenadiel faces challenges that force him to question his beliefs and the nature of his duty. He experiences moments of vulnerability that reveal his desire for connection and understanding, particularly with Lucifer. By the climax, Amenadiel learns to balance his sense of duty with compassion, ultimately choosing to support Lucifer in his quest for redemption rather than opposing him. This transformation culminates in a reconciliatory moment where Amenadiel embraces the idea that love and understanding can coexist with duty. | Amenadiel's character arc is compelling, as it explores themes of duty, loyalty, and the complexities of familial relationships. However, the arc could benefit from deeper exploration of his internal conflicts. While his transformation is significant, the screenplay may not fully convey the emotional weight of his struggles. The moments that lead to his change in perspective could be more fleshed out, allowing the audience to witness his growth in a more impactful way. Additionally, the interactions with other characters could be utilized to highlight his evolution, rather than relying solely on his relationship with Lucifer. | To improve Amenadiel's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that showcase his internal struggles and doubts about his role. This could include interactions with other celestial beings or humans that challenge his views on duty and love. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a wise character who provides insight into the nature of free will and familial bonds could serve as a catalyst for Amenadiel's transformation. Finally, ensure that key moments of realization are given adequate screen time to allow the audience to connect emotionally with his journey, making his eventual acceptance of Lucifer's choices more resonant. |
| lucifer |
|
While Lucifer's character arc is compelling, it may benefit from clearer motivations and stakes. The internal conflict between his devilish persona and his desire for connection is intriguing, but it could be more explicitly tied to specific events or relationships that catalyze his transformation. Additionally, the resolution feels somewhat abrupt; a more gradual evolution would enhance the believability of his change. | To improve Lucifer's character arc, consider introducing a key relationship that serves as a catalyst for his transformation, such as a mortal who challenges his views on morality. This relationship could provide emotional stakes that make his internal conflict more relatable. Additionally, incorporating moments of self-reflection or external challenges that force him to confront his identity could deepen his character development. Finally, ensure that the resolution feels earned by allowing Lucifer to struggle with his choices and face consequences that reflect his growth. |
| chloe |
|
Chloe's character arc is compelling, as it showcases her internal conflict and growth. However, the transition from skepticism to acceptance could be more gradual and nuanced. The screenplay may benefit from deeper exploration of her past choices and how they influence her current decisions, providing a richer context for her character development. | To improve Chloe's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or dialogues that reveal her past experiences and how they shape her views on justice and relationships. Additionally, introduce moments where Chloe's skepticism is challenged by tangible evidence or experiences that force her to reconsider her stance. This will create a more dynamic and believable evolution in her character, making her eventual acceptance of Lucifer's influence more impactful. |
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
| Pattern | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Tone and Emotional Impact | Scenes with a more intense tone, such as those labeled 'Intense' or 'Dark', tend to have higher emotional impact scores. For instance, scenes 3, 5, and 20, which are rated as 'Intense', also have high emotional impact scores (8 or 9). This suggests that the author effectively uses intense tones to evoke strong emotions. |
| Dialogue and Character Changes | Scenes that feature more playful or sarcastic dialogue often coincide with significant character changes. For example, scenes 1, 2, and 12, which have playful or sarcastic tones, also show notable character changes (scores of 8 or 9). This indicates that the author may be using dialogue as a tool to facilitate character development. |
| Conflict and High Stakes | There is a strong correlation between high conflict and high stakes in scenes. Scenes that score high on conflict (8 or 9) also tend to have high stakes (scores of 8 or 9), such as scenes 3, 5, and 20. This suggests that the author effectively intertwines conflict with the stakes of the narrative, enhancing the overall tension. |
| Character Development and Emotional Impact | Scenes that show significant character changes often correlate with higher emotional impact scores. For instance, scenes 3, 5, and 20 not only show high character change scores but also high emotional impact scores. This indicates that character development is a key driver of emotional engagement in the screenplay. |
| Sarcasm and Overall Grade | Scenes that incorporate sarcasm consistently receive high overall grades (8 or 9). For example, scenes 1, 3, and 21, which feature sarcastic tones, all have high overall grades. This suggests that the author’s use of sarcasm is well-received and contributes positively to the screenplay's quality. |
| Mysterious Tone and Plot Advancement | Scenes with a mysterious tone tend to have lower scores for moving the story forward. For instance, scenes 1, 5, and 9, which are marked as 'Mysterious', have lower scores for moving the story forward (5 or 6). This may indicate that while the mysterious tone adds intrigue, it could also hinder narrative progression. |
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
The screenplay demonstrates a strong command of dialogue, character dynamics, and thematic depth, effectively blending humor, drama, and tension. The writer showcases a unique voice and an ability to create engaging narratives that captivate the audience. However, there are opportunities for improvement in areas such as pacing, character development, and the exploration of subtext in dialogue.
Key Improvement Areas
Dialogue
While the dialogue is engaging, there is potential to deepen character interactions by incorporating subtext and emotional depth, enhancing the overall impact of the scenes.
Pacing
Several scenes indicate a need for improved pacing to maintain tension and engagement throughout the narrative, particularly in balancing dialogue and action.
Character Development
Although character dynamics are strong, further exploration of character motivations and conflicts can add complexity and depth to the narrative.
Suggestions
| Type | Suggestion | Rationale |
|---|---|---|
| Book | 'Save the Cat!' by Blake Snyder | This book provides valuable insights into screenplay structure, character arcs, and pacing, which can enhance the writer's overall storytelling abilities. |
| Screenplay | Read screenplays by Aaron Sorkin, such as 'The Social Network' or 'A Few Good Men' | Sorkin's work is known for sharp dialogue and fast-paced storytelling, offering a model for improving dialogue and pacing. |
| Video | Watch interviews with successful screenwriters discussing their writing processes and character development techniques. | Learning from experienced writers can provide valuable insights and inspiration for enhancing the writer's craft. |
| Exercise | Practice writing dialogue-driven scenes with subtext and emotional stakes.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise will help the writer refine their ability to create authentic and engaging conversations that reveal character motivations. |
| Exercise | Write a scene focusing on pacing, alternating between dialogue and action to maintain tension.Practice In SceneProv | This will help the writer develop a better sense of rhythm and pacing in their storytelling. |
| Exercise | Create character profiles that explore motivations, conflicts, and backstories.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise will deepen the writer's understanding of their characters, leading to more nuanced interactions and development. |
Additional Notes: Overall, the writer shows great potential and talent in screenwriting. By focusing on the suggested improvement areas and engaging with the recommended materials and exercises, they can further refine their craft and develop a more compelling narrative style.
Stories Similar to this one
| Story | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Supernatural | This TV show features two brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester, who hunt demons and other supernatural beings. Like Lucifer, they navigate the complexities of their identities and familial relationships while dealing with moral dilemmas and the consequences of their actions in a world filled with both humor and darkness. |
| Constantine | Based on the DC Comics character John Constantine, this series follows a demon hunter who grapples with his own past and the supernatural world. Similar to Lucifer, it blends dark humor with themes of redemption, identity, and the struggle between good and evil. |
| Buffy the Vampire Slayer | This cult classic series features a young woman, Buffy, who battles vampires and other supernatural threats while navigating her personal life. The mix of humor, existential themes, and the exploration of darker aspects of humanity resonates with the tone and character dynamics found in Lucifer. |
| The Mentalist | This TV show follows Patrick Jane, a former psychic medium turned consultant for the California Bureau of Investigation. Like Lucifer, Jane uses his charm and wit to manipulate situations while dealing with his own past traumas and moral complexities. |
| Good Omens | Based on the novel by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, this series features an angel and a demon teaming up to prevent the apocalypse. The blend of humor, supernatural elements, and the exploration of good versus evil parallels the themes present in Lucifer. |
| American Gods | This adaptation of Neil Gaiman's novel explores the conflict between old gods and new in a modern setting. The themes of identity, belief, and the supernatural, along with a mix of dark humor and existential questions, align closely with the narrative style of Lucifer. |
| The Sandman | Another Neil Gaiman creation, this graphic novel series delves into the realm of dreams and the nature of reality. The character-driven storytelling, along with themes of redemption and the exploration of darker aspects of existence, resonates with the tone and character arcs in Lucifer. |
| Angel | A spin-off from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, this series follows the vampire Angel as he seeks redemption for his past sins. The exploration of morality, identity, and the supernatural, combined with a mix of humor and drama, mirrors the themes found in Lucifer. |
| The Good Place | This comedy series explores the afterlife and moral philosophy through the lens of its characters' journeys toward redemption. The blend of humor, existential questions, and character development reflects the thematic elements present in Lucifer. |
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
| Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| The Charming Anti-Hero | Lucifer Morningstar uses his charm and wit to manipulate others, including bribing a police officer. | This trope features a protagonist who is morally ambiguous but possesses a charismatic personality that draws others in. An example is Tony Stark from 'Iron Man', who often uses his charm to navigate difficult situations despite his flaws. |
| Heaven vs. Hell | Lucifer's conflict with his angelic brother Amenadiel represents the struggle between divine authority and free will. | This trope often explores the dichotomy between good and evil, as seen in 'Supernatural', where angels and demons frequently clash over moral choices and human fate. |
| The Fallen Star | Delilah, a fallen pop star, grapples with her past choices and questions her worth. | This trope involves a character who was once at the top but has fallen from grace, often leading to a journey of redemption. An example is the character of Sam in 'A Star is Born', who struggles with addiction and lost fame. |
| The Love-Hate Relationship | Lucifer and Chloe engage in flirtatious yet confrontational banter, highlighting their complex dynamic. | This trope features two characters who have a strong attraction to each other but also significant conflicts. An example is the relationship between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in 'Pride and Prejudice'. |
| The Mentor | Dr. Linda Martin serves as a therapist and mentor to Lucifer, guiding him through his emotional struggles. | This trope involves a wise character who provides guidance to the protagonist. An example is Mr. Miyagi in 'The Karate Kid', who teaches Daniel life lessons alongside martial arts. |
| The Tragic Backstory | Lucifer's abandonment of Hell hints at a deeper struggle and emotional pain. | This trope involves a character whose past experiences shape their current behavior and motivations. An example is Batman, whose parents' murder drives him to fight crime. |
| The Sidekick | Maze, the seductive bartender, serves as Lucifer's confidante and ally. | This trope features a secondary character who supports the protagonist, often providing comic relief or emotional support. An example is Robin to Batman. |
| The Investigation | Chloe, a detective, investigates Delilah's murder, leading to various confrontations. | This trope involves a character or group solving a mystery, often leading to twists and revelations. An example is 'Sherlock', where the titular character solves complex cases. |
| The Emotional Breakdown | Lucifer expresses frustration and anger over personal loss, culminating in a moment of vulnerability. | This trope involves a character reaching a breaking point, often leading to significant character development. An example is the character of Andy in 'The Shawshank Redemption', who breaks down after years of imprisonment. |
| Theme | Theme Details | Themee Explanation | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Identity and Self-Discovery | Lucifer's internal struggle with his identity as the Devil and his desire to embrace human emotions. | Throughout the screenplay, Lucifer grapples with his dual nature as both a powerful being and a being capable of compassion, leading to moments of introspection and conflict with his brother Amenadiel and others. | ||
Strengthening Identity and Self-Discovery:
| ||||
| Redemption and Forgiveness | Characters like Delilah seek redemption for their past choices, and Lucifer attempts to help them. | The theme of redemption is prevalent as characters confront their past mistakes and seek to improve their lives, with Lucifer often acting as a catalyst for change. | ||
| Love and Relationships | The evolving relationship between Lucifer and Chloe, as well as the dynamics with other characters. | The screenplay explores various forms of love, from romantic to familial, highlighting the complexities and challenges that arise in relationships, particularly between Lucifer and Chloe. | ||
| Temptation and Desire | Lucifer's charm and ability to draw out people's desires, often leading to moral dilemmas. | The theme of temptation is central to Lucifer's character, as he navigates the desires of those around him while also confronting his own, leading to both humorous and serious consequences. | ||
| Good vs. Evil | The conflict between Lucifer's devilish nature and his desire to do good. | The screenplay presents a nuanced view of good and evil, with Lucifer often challenging traditional notions of morality as he interacts with both human and supernatural characters. | ||
| Existentialism and Purpose | Lucifer's reflections on his purpose after leaving Hell and the nature of existence. | The theme of existentialism is woven throughout the narrative as Lucifer contemplates his role in the world and the meaning of his actions, leading to deeper philosophical discussions. | ||
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
| Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
| John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
| What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
| Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
| Voice Analysis | |
|---|---|
| Summary: | The writer's voice is characterized by a unique blend of witty dialogue, dark humor, and a seamless integration of supernatural and crime elements. This voice manifests through sharp banter, clever wordplay, and a playful yet introspective tone that captures the complexities of the characters, particularly Lucifer Morningstar. The dialogue often juxtaposes light-heartedness with deeper existential themes, creating a distinctive atmosphere that sets the screenplay apart from conventional narratives. |
| Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes to the script by enhancing the depth and complexity of the characters and themes. It creates a unique tone that balances humor with drama, allowing for moments of introspection amidst the chaos of crime and supernatural elements. This voice not only entertains but also invites the audience to engage with philosophical questions about morality, identity, and redemption, enriching the overall narrative experience. |
| Best Representation Scene | 2 - Temptation on Sunset Boulevard |
| Best Scene Explanation | This scene is the best representation because it encapsulates the writer's unique voice through its blend of humor, charm, and moral ambiguity. The witty dialogue and playful manipulation highlight Lucifer's character while also showcasing the underlying themes of temptation and the complexities of human nature. The interaction with Officer Diggs serves as a microcosm of the larger narrative, reflecting the interplay between the supernatural and the mundane, making it a standout moment in the screenplay. |
Originality
- Overall originality score: 9
- Overall originality explanation: The screenplay presents a highly original blend of crime procedural and supernatural elements, featuring a charismatic fallen angel as the protagonist. The incorporation of complex themes such as morality, identity, and redemption, alongside authentic character interactions and witty dialogue, sets it apart from typical genre offerings. The unique character dynamics, particularly between Lucifer and other characters like Chloe and Maze, further enhance its originality.
- Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the screenplay are Lucifer's interactions with various characters, such as his playful yet profound conversations with Delilah about fame and redemption, his chaotic entrance at a wedding that reveals deeper truths, and his confrontations with both human and supernatural adversaries that challenge his identity and morality. Additionally, the blend of humor with darker themes, such as the aftermath of violence and personal loss, adds layers of complexity to the narrative.
- Overall unpredictability score: 8.5
- Overall unpredictability explanation: The screenplay maintains a high level of unpredictability through its unexpected twists and character revelations. The integration of supernatural elements into crime investigations leads to surprising outcomes, such as the sudden violence at the wedding and the emotional depth in Lucifer's interactions. The evolving relationships between characters, particularly the tension between Lucifer and Chloe, keep the audience guessing about their future dynamics and the implications of Lucifer's choices.
| Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
|---|---|
| internal Goals | Lucifer's internal goals revolve around his quest for independence, self-identity, and redemption. Initially, he seeks freedom from his past in Hell, but through interactions with others, he grapples with the consequences of his choices and the desire to guide those seeking redemption. His goals evolve to encompass a balance of asserting his individuality while also navigating human emotions and responsibilities. |
| External Goals | Lucifer's external goals align with his desire to seek justice for Delilah's murder and to uncover the truth behind the chaos around him. Throughout the screenplay, he focuses on solving the murder case, asserting dominance in various social encounters, and manipulating situations to maintain his lifestyle, all while entangled in the lives of those around him. |
| Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around Lucifer's hedonistic worldview versus the concepts of justice, morality, and personal responsibility. As he navigates his identity as the Devil and the expectations placed upon him by others, he confronts the duality of his nature—whether to embrace his darkness or seek redemption by aligning with human values. |
Character Development Contribution: The convergence of Lucifer's internal and external goals drives his character development, allowing him to confront his past and navigate complex human emotions. His journey from a self-indulgent being to a character seeking purpose and connection highlights his evolution.
Narrative Structure Contribution: Lucifer's goals shape the narrative structure by creating a conflict-driven plot that intertwines personal stakes with overarching mysteries. Each goal he pursues propels the storyline forward, leading to pivotal moments that reveal deeper character dynamics and societal questions.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The interplay of goals and philosophical conflicts enriches the thematic depth by exploring themes of free will, redemption, and the human condition. Lucifer's struggles embody the complexities of morality and the search for identity in a world that frequently challenges one's beliefs and desires.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
| Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
| Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
| Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
World Building
- Physical environment: The screenplay is set in a modern-day Los Angeles, characterized by vibrant nightlife, opulent locations like the nightclub Lux, and gritty urban areas. The juxtaposition of luxury and danger creates a dynamic backdrop for the characters' interactions, with elements of glamour and chaos coexisting.
- Culture: The cultural elements reflect a blend of celebrity, fame, and the nightlife scene in Los Angeles. Themes of redemption, self-discovery, and the consequences of fame are prevalent, as characters navigate their desires and struggles within a world that celebrates excess and indulgence.
- Society: The societal structure is hierarchical, with characters like Lucifer Morningstar, who embodies wealth and power, contrasted against those grappling with the consequences of their choices. The presence of celestial beings like angels and demons adds a layer of complexity to the social dynamics, highlighting themes of good versus evil and the nature of free will.
- Technology: Technological aspects are subtly integrated, with references to social media, smartphones, and modern communication methods. These elements enhance the narrative by grounding the supernatural occurrences in a contemporary context, while also reflecting the characters' interactions and personal struggles.
- Characters influence: The unique physical environment and cultural elements shape the characters' experiences and actions by providing a rich tapestry of temptation and moral ambiguity. Characters like Lucifer and Chloe are influenced by their surroundings, leading to complex relationships and personal conflicts that drive the narrative forward.
- Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute to the narrative by creating a setting where supernatural and human experiences intersect. This blend allows for a unique exploration of crime, justice, and personal identity, as characters confront their pasts and desires within a vibrant yet dangerous landscape.
- Thematic depth contribution: The world elements contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring concepts of redemption, free will, and the duality of human nature. The interactions between celestial beings and humans serve as a metaphor for the struggles of identity and morality, enriching the narrative with layers of meaning and emotional resonance.
Story Engine Analysis
central conflict
Lucifer's struggle with his identity and purpose after leaving Hell, compounded by his interactions with humans and the consequences of his actions.
primary motivations
- Lucifer's desire to understand humanity and his own emotions.
- Chloe's determination to solve Delilah's murder and navigate her personal life.
- Amenadiel's wish to bring Lucifer back to Hell and uphold divine order.
catalysts
- Delilah's murder, which triggers the investigation.
- Lucifer's interactions with various characters that challenge his views on humanity.
- Chloe's growing curiosity about Lucifer's claims and abilities.
barriers
- Lucifer's internal conflict between his devilish nature and emerging empathy.
- Chloe's skepticism towards Lucifer's supernatural claims.
- Amenadiel's insistence on Lucifer's return to Hell.
themes
- The nature of good and evil.
- Redemption and personal growth.
- The complexity of human emotions and relationships.
stakes
The stakes involve the safety of characters like Chloe and the resolution of Delilah's murder, as well as Lucifer's struggle to reconcile his identity with his feelings for humans.
uniqueness factor
The story uniquely blends supernatural elements with crime procedural drama, featuring a charismatic Devil navigating human life.
audience hook
The dynamic between Lucifer and Chloe, filled with flirtation, tension, and humor, keeps viewers engaged.
paradoxical engine or bisociation
The juxtaposition of Lucifer's devilish charm against his growing compassion for humans creates a paradox that drives the narrative.
paradoxical engine or bisociation 2
The contrast between the light-hearted banter and the dark themes of murder and existential crisis enhances the story's complexity.
Engine: Claude
Screenplay Rating:
Consider
Executive Summary
The 'Lucifer' pilot screenplay presents a compelling character-driven story with a unique supernatural premise. While the overall narrative is engaging, there are some areas that could be strengthened, such as the clarity of character arcs and the pacing in certain sequences. The script showcases strong dialogue and an intriguing dynamic between the lead characters, Lucifer and Chloe, which holds great potential for further exploration. With some refinement, this screenplay could be a strong contender for development.
Strengths
- The opening sequence effectively establishes Lucifer's character and sets the tone for the story. His confident, sardonic demeanor and supernatural abilities are immediately apparent, drawing the audience in. high ( Scene 2 (1) )
- The interactions between Lucifer and other characters, such as Maze and 2Vile, showcase his ability to manipulate and extract information from people, hinting at the depth of his supernatural powers. medium ( Scene 4 (6) Scene 10 (16) )
- The scenes featuring Lucifer's confrontations with Grey Cooper and Jimmy Barnes demonstrate his willingness to use unorthodox methods to elicit information and seek justice, adding to the complexity of his character. high ( Scene 7 (14) Scene 8 (15) )
- The growing dynamic between Lucifer and Chloe, with her apparent immunity to his supernatural abilities, is a compelling element that drives the narrative and hints at the potential for further exploration of their relationship. high ( Scene 11 (17) Scene 18 (27) )
- The screenplay effectively incorporates Lucifer's supernatural abilities, such as his power to manipulate people's desires, into the narrative, creating unique and engaging moments that set the script apart from a traditional crime drama. medium ( Scene 5 (9) Scene 12 (20) )
Areas of Improvement
- The resolution of Chloe's gunshot wound and Lucifer's apparent immortality could be strengthened, as the explanation provided feels somewhat unclear and leaves unanswered questions. medium ( Scene 21 (29) )
- The character arcs of Lucifer and Chloe could be further developed, as their relationship and motivations are not always fully clear, especially towards the end of the script. high ( Scene 21 (29) )
- The pacing of certain sequences, such as the scenes at the elementary school and the confrontation with Grey Cooper, could be tightened to maintain a stronger narrative flow. medium ( Scene 12 (20) Scene 17 (25) )
- The resolution of the Delilah murder case, with Jimmy Barnes' involvement, could be handled more smoothly, as the sequence feels somewhat rushed and the character's motivations are not fully explored. medium ( Scene 20 (28) )
- The ending of the screenplay, while intriguing, could benefit from a stronger sense of closure for the main characters and their respective arcs. medium ( Scene 21 (29) )
MissingElements
- The script could provide more clarity on Lucifer's true nature and the extent of his supernatural abilities, as well as the relationship between him and his angelic brother Amenadiel, which is hinted at but not fully explained. high ( Scene 21 (29) )
- The script could benefit from a stronger exploration of Chloe's backstory and the reasons behind her struggles within the police department, as this aspect of her character is only briefly touched upon. medium ( Scene 21 (29) )
- The script could delve deeper into the broader implications of Lucifer's presence in the human world and the potential consequences of his actions, as this larger context is not fully developed. medium ( Scene 21 (29) )
NotablePoints
- The brief glimpses of Maze's true nature, hinted at through the distortion of her reflection, suggest an intriguing supernatural element that could be further explored. medium ( Scene 4 (6) )
- The confrontation between Lucifer and Jimmy Barnes, where Lucifer demonstrates a strong desire for punishment and retribution, highlights the complexity of his character and his potential moral ambiguity. high ( Scene 20 (28) )
- The interactions between Lucifer and his angelic brother Amenadiel, particularly the hints of their strained relationship and Amenadiel's apparent concern over Lucifer's actions, suggest intriguing storylines and character dynamics that could be further explored. high ( Scene 30 (30) )
- The growing bond between Lucifer and Chloe, despite her initial resistance to his charms, presents a compelling central relationship that could drive the narrative in compelling directions. high ( Scene 18 (27) )
- Lucifer's supernatural abilities, particularly his power to manipulate people's desires, offer unique storytelling opportunities that could be further explored to differentiate the script from standard crime dramas. medium ( Scene 5 (9) Scene 12 (20) )
Blind Spots
- Exploration of Supernatural Elements While the script incorporates supernatural elements, such as Lucifer's powers and his angelic brother Amenadiel, the full extent and implications of these elements are not fully explored. The script could benefit from delving deeper into the world-building and the broader context of Lucifer's presence in the human realm, as well as the potential consequences of his actions. medium
- Character Development The character arcs of Lucifer and Chloe, while intriguing, could be further developed to provide a more nuanced understanding of their motivations, internal struggles, and the evolution of their relationship. The script could benefit from a stronger focus on the personal growth and transformation of these central characters. high
- Narrative Cohesion While the script offers several engaging narrative elements, such as the murder investigation and Lucifer's interactions with various characters, the overall cohesion and pacing of the story could be improved. Certain sequences, like the scenes at the elementary school and the confrontation with Grey Cooper, feel slightly uneven in their flow, which could be addressed to maintain a more consistent and compelling narrative. medium
Amateur Giveaways
- Uneven Pacing As mentioned in the 'Areas of Improvement' section, the pacing of certain sequences, such as the scenes at the elementary school and the confrontation with Grey Cooper, feels slightly uneven. This could be perceived as an amateur mistake, as maintaining a consistent narrative flow is crucial for an engaging screenplay. medium
- Unexplained Plot Elements The resolution of Chloe's gunshot wound and Lucifer's apparent immortality, as well as the lack of clarity around the broader implications of Lucifer's presence in the human world, could be viewed as amateur giveaways, as they leave unanswered questions and a sense of incompleteness in the narrative. medium
- Underdeveloped Character Arcs As noted in the 'Areas of Improvement' section, the character arcs of Lucifer and Chloe could be further developed to provide a more nuanced understanding of their motivations and the evolution of their relationship. This could be perceived as an amateur oversight, as strong character development is crucial for a compelling screenplay. high
Engine: GPT4
Screenplay Rating:
Recommend
Executive Summary
The 'Lucifer' pilot screenplay presents a unique blend of supernatural elements and crime procedural, showcasing strong character dynamics and witty dialogue. The narrative effectively introduces the protagonist's internal conflict and sets up intriguing relationships, particularly between Lucifer and Chloe. However, there are areas for improvement in pacing and character depth that could enhance the overall impact.
Strengths
- The dialogue is sharp and witty, effectively establishing character personalities and relationships, particularly between Lucifer and other characters. high ( Scene 2 (2) Scene 3 (4) )
- The screenplay successfully sets up the central conflict with Lucifer's desire to punish those who wronged him, creating a compelling narrative drive. high ( Scene 4 (5) )
- The introduction of Chloe Dancer as a strong female lead adds depth to the narrative, providing a counterbalance to Lucifer's character. high ( Scene 6 (11) )
- The use of humor throughout the screenplay lightens the darker themes, making the story more accessible and engaging. medium ( Scene 8 (14) )
- The screenplay effectively sets up future conflicts and character arcs, particularly with Amenadiel's threat, which adds layers to the ongoing narrative. high ( Scene 22 (30) )
Areas of Improvement
- The pacing in the first act feels rushed, particularly in establishing character backstories and motivations, which could benefit from more gradual development. high ( Scene 2 (2) Scene 6 (11) )
- Some character motivations, especially for secondary characters, are underdeveloped, leaving their arcs feeling incomplete. medium ( Scene 8 (14) )
- The transitions between scenes can feel abrupt, disrupting the flow of the narrative and making it harder for the audience to stay engaged. medium ( Scene 12 (18) )
- The emotional stakes could be heightened in key scenes to create a stronger connection between the audience and the characters. high ( Scene 22 (30) )
- The climax could be more impactful with a clearer resolution to the central conflict, as it currently feels somewhat rushed. high ( Scene 28 (28) )
MissingElements
- A deeper exploration of Lucifer's internal conflict regarding his identity and purpose is needed to enhance character depth. high ( Scene 2 (2) )
- More background on Chloe's past and her motivations would provide a richer context for her character and her relationship with Lucifer. medium ( Scene 12 (18) )
- The screenplay lacks a clear thematic resolution that ties together the various character arcs and conflicts introduced. high ( Scene 22 (30) )
- There is a lack of emotional depth in the aftermath of key events, particularly regarding the impact of Delilah's death on Lucifer. medium ( Scene 28 (28) )
- The motivations of Amenadiel could be more clearly defined to enhance the conflict between him and Lucifer. medium ( Scene 22 (30) )
NotablePoints
- The opening scene effectively establishes the tone and style of the series, drawing the audience in with its unique premise. high ( Scene 2 (2) )
- The dynamic between Lucifer and Maze hints at deeper themes of loyalty and identity, setting up future character development. medium ( Scene 4 (5) )
- The chemistry between Lucifer and Chloe is palpable, creating a compelling foundation for their partnership. high ( Scene 6 (11) )
- The use of supernatural elements to explore human desires adds a unique twist to the crime genre, enhancing the narrative's complexity. high ( Scene 12 (18) )
- The final confrontation with Amenadiel sets the stage for ongoing conflict and character evolution, keeping the audience engaged. high ( Scene 22 (30) )
Blind Spots
- Character Development The screenplay occasionally overlooks the depth of secondary characters, making them feel one-dimensional. For example, characters like Maze and Amenadiel could benefit from more backstory and emotional complexity. high
Amateur Giveaways
- Pacing Issues The pacing in certain scenes feels rushed, particularly in the first act, where character motivations and backstories are introduced too quickly without sufficient buildup. medium
Memorable lines in the script:
| Scene Number | Line |
|---|---|
| 1 | Lucifer Morningstar: What is it you truly desire? |
| 7 | Maze: You’re the Prince of frickin’ Darkness. It’s all well and good to take a vacation, have fun in paradise with the low-hanging fruit. But you're losing sight of who you actually are, Lucifer. |
| 4 | Lucifer: You didn’t sell your soul, Delilah, but you do owe me a favor. Looks like it’s time to settle up. |
| 16 | Lucifer: I’m like walking heroin. Very habit-forming. Never ends well. |
| 14 | Lucifer: Allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man who could make you see things that would drive you blind. Or pull your spine out through your mouth. Your choice. But I wouldn’t do any of these things in front of the child. You know why? Because I, for one, have excellent manners. |