The big short

Executive Summary

Poster
Overview

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Finance, Comedy, Biography, Satire

Setting: 1979-2008, New York City and various locations across the United States

Overview: The Big Short chronicles the events leading up to the 2008 financial crisis through the eyes of several key players who foresaw the impending collapse of the housing market. Beginning in the late 1970s, the story introduces Lewis Ranieri, who pioneers mortgage-backed securities, setting the stage for a financial revolution. As the narrative progresses, we meet Michael Burry, a socially awkward hedge fund manager who identifies the risks in subprime mortgages, and Mark Baum, a cynical analyst who becomes increasingly disillusioned with the financial system. The middle of the story follows their efforts to short the housing market, facing skepticism from peers and the industry. As the crisis unfolds, the characters grapple with the moral implications of profiting from the collapse, leading to a climax that reveals the devastating human cost of their actions. The story concludes with a reflection on the systemic failures that allowed the crisis to happen, leaving the audience to ponder the consequences of greed and corruption.

Themes: Moral Corruption and Systemic Failure in Finance, The Human Cost of Greed and Recklessness, The Power of Individual Insight and Conscience, The Failure of Regulation and Oversight

Conflict and Stakes: The main conflict revolves around the characters' struggle to navigate the corrupt financial system and profit from the impending housing market collapse, with significant financial and ethical stakes involved.

Overall Mood: Tense and urgent, with moments of dark humor.

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

  • Scene 1: The mood is initially dull and stable, reflecting the banking environment of the late 1970s.
  • Scene 2: The mood shifts to hedonistic revelry mixed with ominous foreboding as the characters celebrate their financial success.
  • Scene 3: The mood is tense and introspective as Michael Burry reflects on his childhood and current financial concerns.
  • Scene 4: The mood is urgent and focused as Michael investigates mortgage fraud, highlighting his anxiety about the housing market.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The film's focus on the real-life events leading to the 2008 financial crisis, told through the eyes of unconventional characters.
  • Plot Twist: The realization that the financial system is built on a house of cards, leading to the eventual collapse.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of humor and unconventional storytelling techniques to explain complex financial concepts.
  • Distinctive Settings: The contrast between the high-stakes world of finance and the personal lives of the characters.

Comparable Scripts:

  • The Big Short
  • Margin Call
  • Too Big to Fail
  • Inside Job
  • Wall Street
  • Billions
  • The Wolf of Wall Street
  • Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room
  • The Smartest Guys in the Room

Writing Style:

The screenplay predominantly employs a dialogue-driven style characterized by sharp, witty, and fast-paced exchanges. It focuses on high-stakes situations, often within the financial world, exploring complex moral dilemmas and power dynamics between characters. There's a consistent blend of humor and serious subject matter, with a focus on intense character interactions and intellectual conflict.

Style Similarities:

  • Aaron Sorkin
  • David Mamet
Other Similarities
Pass/Consider/Recommend

Highly Recommend


Explanation: The Big Short screenplay is a highly effective blend of comedic and dramatic storytelling that successfully translates a complex financial crisis into an engaging and accessible narrative. The script's strengths lie in its clever use of narrative devices, memorable characters, and insightful exploration of greed and human fallibility. While some areas could benefit from minor tightening, the overall quality, originality, and compelling narrative make it a highly recommendable project.


USP: What sets 'The Big Short' apart is its unique narrative structure that combines real-life events with a satirical tone, making complex financial concepts understandable to a general audience. The use of celebrity cameos to explain financial jargon adds a layer of entertainment while maintaining the film's educational value. This screenplay not only tells a story of financial collapse but also critiques the systemic failures that allowed it to happen, resonating with audiences concerned about economic justice.
Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$20-30 million

Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 25-54, particularly those interested in finance, drama, and social commentary.

Marketability: The screenplay's exploration of real events surrounding the financial crisis, combined with strong character arcs, makes it appealing to a broad audience.

The unique blend of humor and drama, along with a star-studded cast, enhances its marketability.

The film's relevance to contemporary issues in finance and economics can attract viewers interested in social themes.

Profit Potential: High, due to its potential for critical acclaim, award nominations, and a strong box office performance driven by its timely subject matter.

Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by a sharp, witty, and often cynical tone, blending dark humor with serious subject matter. The narrative is fast-paced and engaging, utilizing vivid imagery and detailed descriptions, particularly regarding the financial world. Dialogue is realistic yet insightful, conveying complex financial concepts in an accessible manner while revealing the characters' personalities and internal conflicts. The directorial choices suggest a dynamic and intense style, incorporating elements like freeze-frames and quick cuts to enhance the tension and urgency.

Best representation: Scene 16 - Trusting the Unknown. This scene is the best representation because it most effectively encapsulates the writer's unique blend of dark humor, sharp dialogue, and vivid imagery. The analogy of the seafood stew to the manipulation of CDOs is both clever and darkly funny, highlighting the absurdity of the financial situation. The use of the Jenga game to visually represent the instability of the CDOs enhances the dramatic tension and foreshadows the impending crisis. The scene masterfully balances lightheartedness with a sense of impending doom, mirroring the writer's overall stylistic approach.

Memorable Lines:

  • Lewis Ranieri: Risk? What risk? The only risk is that you get paid back too soon! (Scene 1)
  • Jared Vennett: Basically I'm standing in front of a burning house and offering you fire insurance on it. (Scene 15)
  • Ben: You just bet against the American economy. If we’re right it means people lose homes, jobs, retirement savings, pensions. These aren’t just numbers. For every point unemployment goes up, 40 thousand people die. Did you know that? (Scene 41)
  • Mark: Wall Street took a good idea, Lewis Ranieri’s Mortgage Bond and turned it into an atomic bomb of fraud and stupidity that is on its way to decimating the world economy. (Scene 55)
  • Mark: Zero! There is a zero percent chance your subprime losses stop at 5%! (Scene 39)
Characters

Michael Burry:A socially awkward but brilliant hedge fund manager who predicts the housing market collapse.

Mark Baum:A cynical and passionate hedge fund manager who is deeply critical of the financial system.

Jamie Shipley:An ambitious young trader who partners with Charlie Geller to capitalize on the impending financial crisis.

Charlie Geller:A young trader who is eager to make a name for himself in the finance world.

Ben Rickert:A former trader who is skeptical of Wall Street and reluctantly helps Jamie and Charlie.

Story Shape
Summary **Title: The Big Short** **Summary:** Set against the backdrop of the 2008 financial crisis, *The Big Short* depicts the evolving landscape of the banking industry, beginning in 1979 with the introduction of mortgage-backed securities by Lewis Ranieri at Solomon Brothers. As the financial world shifts, we follow the intersecting lives of various characters—including the socially awkward but brilliant Michael Burry, the cynical Mark Baum, and the ambitious duo Jamie Shipley and Charlie Geller—each noticing the deceptive practices and risks buried within the financial instruments that are driving the housing market to its breaking point. Amidst a backdrop of financial revelry and ignorance from traders, Burry becomes increasingly paranoid about the rise in mortgage fraud and the unsustainable nature of adjustable-rate mortgages. His obsession leads him to the path of shorting the housing market, making significant bets against mortgage-backed securities, which he believes are on the cusp of collapse. Meanwhile, Baum, driven by ethics and a disdain for corrupt banking practices, assembles his team to investigate the impending disaster, armed with humor but weighed down by the grim realities they uncover. As they delve deeper into the convoluted world of collateralized debt obligations (CDOs) and the misleading ratings that support them, the narrative intercuts with humorous yet poignant commentary on the absurdity of Wall Street's greed and misinformation. Throughout tense meetings and conferences, characters grapple with moral dilemmas while navigating a system rigged against transparency and accountability. The film culminates in the chaotic collapse of financial institutions, mirroring individual characters' conflicts and failures as the consequences of their choices unfold. The stark contrast between the characters' initial hopes for profit and their inevitable disillusionment paves the way for a critique of the financial system and the human cost of ambition. In the end, the fallout from the housing crisis not only devastates the economy but also drives home the realization that few, if any, faced repercussions for their actions, poignantly highlighting a systemic failure that still resonates today.


Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The screenplay boasts a compelling premise, exploring the 2008 financial crisis through the perspectives of several key players. The parallel narratives of Michael Burry, Mark Baum, and Jamie and Charlie offer a multifaceted view of the crisis, highlighting both the individual brilliance and systemic failures that led to the collapse. The inclusion of real-life figures adds a layer of authenticity, grounding the fictional elements in a historical context. However, the screenplay suffers from pacing issues; the sheer number of characters and storylines sometimes feels overwhelming, hindering the development of individual arcs. While the parallel storylines are interesting, they don't always intersect meaningfully, resulting in a fragmented narrative. The sheer volume of financial jargon may alienate viewers unfamiliar with these terms. Some storylines, particularly those of Jamie and Charlie, feel underdeveloped compared to Burry and Baum. The ending, while providing a summary of the aftermath, lacks emotional resonance.
Suggestions: Streamline the narrative by focusing on fewer characters or intertwining their storylines more organically. Consider creating a stronger central conflict that ties all characters together. Find ways to explain complex financial concepts visually or through simpler analogies, reducing reliance on jargon. Develop the supporting characters more fully, giving them individual motivations and arcs that resonate with the main plot. The ending needs a more powerful emotional punch – perhaps focusing on the human cost of the crisis and the lasting impact on individuals.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Beginning The opening scenes effectively establish the historical context of the late 1970s and the birth of mortgage-backed securities. The contrast between the sleepy bond trading floor and Lewis Ranieri's disruptive innovation immediately grabs the viewer's attention. The foreshadowing of the 2008 crisis is clever, creating anticipation for the events to come. However, the voiceover narration, while providing information, can feel heavy-handed and somewhat expository. The early scenes lack the character depth that develops later in the screenplay; viewers aren't immediately connected to the characters' emotional journeys. Introducing Michael Burry's personal struggles so early might disrupt the initial momentum focused on the financial context.
Suggestions: Reduce reliance on voiceover narration and show more, tell less. Establish a stronger emotional connection with the audience in the opening scenes by focusing on the characters' personalities and motivations, rather than simply outlining historical events. Consider delaying the introduction of Burry's personal struggles until the financial backdrop is more firmly established, allowing for a more gradual reveal of his character.
Middle The middle section of the screenplay shines in its portrayal of the contrasting approaches to uncovering the housing market bubble. Michael Burry's obsessive analysis provides a fascinating counterpoint to Mark Baum's more emotionally driven investigation. The inclusion of supporting characters like Jared Vennett adds intrigue and tension, providing insights into the inner workings of Wall Street. However, the sheer number of subplots can be distracting, particularly those of Jamie and Charlie, whose storylines feel somewhat disconnected from the larger narrative. The pacing feels uneven; some scenes are highly detailed, while others rush through crucial information.
Suggestions: Consolidate some of the parallel storylines, focusing on the most compelling narratives and integrating them more effectively. Consider raising the stakes by highlighting the personal consequences of the characters' investigations. Employ more visual storytelling to convey complex financial concepts instead of relying solely on dialogue.
Ending The climax of the screenplay effectively depicts the unfolding of the financial crisis, highlighting the chaos and despair that ensued. The contrasting reactions of the characters add depth and complexity, showcasing the varied consequences of the collapse. However, the ending feels rushed and somewhat anticlimactic. The resolution of many storylines is compressed, lacking the emotional impact that the events warrant. The final scenes seem more focused on providing a factual summary than on exploring the emotional toll on the characters.
Suggestions: Expand the scenes depicting the aftermath of the financial crisis, focusing on the human cost and the emotional toll on the characters. Provide more closure to individual storylines, ensuring that the ending feels earned and emotionally resonant. Consider adding a final scene that reflects on the long-term consequences of the crisis and the lack of accountability in the financial industry.

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

1 - The Birth of Mortgage-Backed Securities Sarcastic, Informative, Humorous 8.5 9 89 9 789787886 99999
2 - The Reckless Rise Informative, Reflective, Critical 8.5 9 89 8 587677888 79988
3 - The Game and the Eye Reflective, Emotional, Introspective 8.5 8 89 9 787574679 79888
4 - The Awakening of Concern Serious, Analytical, Intense 8.5 9 88 9 787778876 99888
5 - The Awakening of Michael Burry Intense, Analytical, Foreboding 8.5 9 98 8 898889988 89999
6 - Clash of Perspectives Serious, Assertive, Confident 8.5 9 99 9 889989988 99999
7 - The Urgency of Risk Serious, Informative, Intense 8.5 9 99 8 789889977 99988
8 - Betting Against the Bull Serious, Confident, Tense 9.2 10 99 9 89810891089 99888
9 - The Bet Against the Tide Serious, Intense, Excited 8.5 8 99 8 889889988 99988
10 - Risky Bets Tense, Serious, Confrontational 8.5 9 98 9 887.5989979 898.588
11 - Disruption in Therapy Intense, Emotional, Confrontational 8.5 8 89 9 887878879 99888
12 - A Walk Through Doubt Dark, Intense, Critical 8.5 8 89 9 887878879 99888
13 - Fractured Reflections Intense, Reflective, Emotional 8.5 8 89 9 887777779 99888
14 - A Curious Call Sarcastic, Cynical, Humorous 8.5 9 89 9 787778886 99888
15 - The Jenga Revelation Condescending, Informative, Sarcastic 9.2 9 99 9 9899810989 99988
16 - From Fish to Financial Collapse Intense, Informative, Foreboding 9.2 10 99 9 987.59891089 998.588
17 - Trusting the Unknown Serious, Analytical, Determined 8.5 9 99 8 889989978 99888
18 - Awkward Encounters and Harsh Realities Nervous, Awkward, Light-hearted 7.5 8 77 8 687675777 99888
19 - High Stakes and Paranoia Humorous, Paranoid, Informative 8.5 9 89 9 787787877 99988
20 - Abandoned Aspirations Sarcastic, Disillusioned, Curious 7.5 8 89 9 787677878 79888
21 - Home Uncertainty Tense, Suspenseful, Mysterious 8.5 8 99 8 787879998 89888
22 - Confrontation in the Office Serious, Tense, Defensive 8.5 9 99 8 887989978 99888
23 - Navigating Opportunity in a Downturn Reflective, Observational, Satirical 8.5 9 89 9 687677877 89888
24 - Lending Laughter: A Casual Chat on Risky Mortgages Informative, Casual, Humorous 8.5 9 89 9 587777876 99888
25 - Exposing Exploitation Intense, Confrontational, Informative 8.5 9 88 9 887989988 99988
26 - Navigating Financial Turbulence Intense, Confrontational, Suspenseful 8.5 8 99 8 887979988 99888
27 - Negotiations and Paranoia Intense, Suspenseful, Confrontational 8.5 8 98 8 787989988 99888
28 - The Perfect Scam: A Culinary Metaphor for CDOs Serious, Informative, Shocking 8.5 9 89 8 787778878 99888
29 - The Reluctant Agreement Sarcastic, Humorous, Cynical 8.5 9 89 9 889989978 99988
30 - The Calm Before the Storm Tense, Suspenseful, Foreboding 8.5 8 98 8 787879988 89988
31 - Rising Defaults, Confounding Markets Tense, Confused, Urgent 8.5 8 99 8 787889978 89988
32 - Frustration on Two Fronts Urgency, Anger, Sarcasm, Tension 8.5 9 99 8 889989989 89988
33 - A Moment of Distraction Serious, Concerned, Reflective 8.5 8 88 9 787574668 88888
34 - The Ratings Dilemma Confrontational, Intense, Cynical, Serious 9.2 9 99 9 9899891089 109888
35 - Tensions in the Financial Crisis Urgent, Frustrated, Cynical 8.5 9 99 8 889989988 99988
36 - Confrontation in the Conference Room Intense, Confrontational, Cynical 9.2 9 98 10 9871089979 99988
37 - Skepticism in Sin City Sarcastic, Cynical, Confrontational 8.5 8 99 9 887988987 99988
38 - Guns and CDOs: A Misfire in Vegas Sarcastic, Confrontational, Humorous 8.5 8 99 9 787778978 99888
39 - Confronting Optimism: A Clash in the Ballroom Tense, Serious, Confrontational 8.5 9 99 9 887989988 99988
40 - Rhythms of Frustration Intense, Confrontational, Skeptical 8.5 9 89 9 887979979 89888
41 - The High Stakes of Morality Serious, Concerned, Reflective 8.5 9 99 8 889989989 99888
42 - The Unraveling Truth Tense, Confrontational, Informative 8.5 9 99 8 787.5989988 998.588
43 - The High Stakes of Overconfidence Informative, Humorous, Cynical 8.5 9 89 7 787.5787896 898.588
44 - Confrontation at Tabemasu Sarcastic, Cynical, Intense, Humorous 8.5 8 99 8 887989988 99888
45 - Shared Grief in an Upscale Boutique Intense, Emotional, Reflective 9.2 9 98 10 9989889810 99999
46 - Navigating Uncertainty Intense, Emotional, Reflective 9.2 9 99 9 9989899810 99999
47 - Tensions Rise as the Financial Crisis Unfolds Tense, Serious, Confrontational 9.2 9 99 9 9899810989 99999
48 - The Reluctant Reporter Anxious, Panicked, Frustrated 8.5 9 99 8 889989989 89988
49 - The Weight of Transparency Tense, Confrontational, Suspenseful 9.2 9 99 9 987.51089989 998.588
50 - Market Collapse: A Moment of Realization Tense, Serious, Foreboding 8.5 8 98 8 889989988 99999
51 - Financial Reckoning Tense, Serious, Anxious 9.2 9 99 9 8899810989 99988
52 - Tensions at Midnight Intense, Confrontational, Tense 9.2 9 99 9 987.59810989 99888
53 - Panic in the Financial Sector Tense, Worrisome, Disappointment 8.5 8 99 8 889989979 99888
54 - Securities and Shenanigans Tense, Serious, Anxious 8.5 8 98 8 787889978 99988
55 - The Tipping Point Serious, Critical, Reflective 9.2 9 99 9 9989899710 99888
56 - Crisis Unfolds Tense, Panic, Chaotic 8.5 8 98 8 889989989 89999
57 - Aftermath of Collapse Tense, Reflective, Somber 8.5 8 99 8 787779879 89888
58 - The Cost of Opportunity Serious, Reflective, Regretful 8.5 8 89 9 987878879 89888
59 - Disillusion on the Roof Resigned, Sarcastic, Critical 8.5 9 89 9 787777878 99888
60 - The Weight of Profit Tense, Resigned, Skeptical 9.2 9 99 9 98998109810 99999


Scene 1 - The Birth of Mortgage-Backed Securities
1 OPEN ON: INT. SOLOMON BROTHERS - 1979 - DAY 1

A bunch of FAT BOND TRADERS eat deli sandwiches and smoke
cigarettes on the Solomon Brothers Bond Trading floor. It’s
not exactly Michael Douglas in Wall Street.

The voice that walks us through this is smart, too the point
and slick. We’ll meet him later.

MODERN TRADER (V.O.)
In the late seventies banking was
not a job you went into to make
large sums of money. It was a good
stable profession like selling
insurance or accounting. And if
banking was boring then the bond
department at a bank was downright
comatose. We all know about bonds,
give em to your nephew when he
turns 16 and then we he’s thirty he
makes a hundred dollars. Yawn.
Bonds were for losers. That is,
until Lewis Ranieri came on the
scene at Solomon Brothers...

MUSIC: Some great 70’s ballad like KISS YOU ALL OVER by EXILE

We see an even schlubbier version of the other Bond Traders
emerge. His suit is rumpled, he has a mustard stain on his
shirt from a soft pretzel he’s eating and he is easily
seventy pounds over weight. This is LEWIS RENIERI. And though
his world is obscure, he is the shit.

Our NARRATOR the MODERN TRADER passes through the scene for a
second, dressed in modern clothes...

Lewis greets his Bond Department with obscenities barked
through his patchy beard and glasses.

MODERN TRADER (V.O.)
You see Lewis didn’t know it yet,
but he had already changed banking
forever. He had just one simple
idea...


2 INT. SOLOMON BROTHERS - CONFERENCE ROOM - 1979 - DAY 2

Lewis and HIS TEAM are doing a presentation to a bunch of
STATE PENSION FUND MANAGERS with an old fashioned OVER HEAD
PROJECTOR.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 3.


LEWIS RANIERI
...The mortgage backed security. Or
the private label M.B.S.

FUND MANAGER
What is that?

BOND TRADER
I hope you don’t say that when you
look at your wife’s pussy!

They all HOWL except the fund manager who looks shocked but
then finally laughs to fit in.

LEWIS RANIERI
Here’s how it works. You’ve got
your average person’s mortgage.
Fixed rate, 30 years...

We see A HOUSE on the over head projector.

LEWIS RANIERI (CONT’D)
Boring, safe, small pay off...
Right? But when you have thousands
of them all bundled together...

We see an illustration of many homes. The next illustration
shows them all “bundled” together with a bow.

LEWIS RANIERI (CONT’D)
Suddenly the yield goes up and the
risk is still low cause it’s a
mortgage and who the hell doesn’t
pay their mortgage?

BOND TRADER
Dickheads and junkies.

LEWIS RANIERI
And because the risk is hedged
these bonds allow for people with
not so perfect credit to get homes.
So you’re making money and you’re
doing a good thing.

BOND TRADER #2
Lewie is a fucking genius.

FUND MANAGER
Uhm, what exactly is the credit
rating on this bond? All my pension
fund cares about is triple A rated
risk.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 4.


LEWIS RANIERI
Risk? What risk? The only risk is
that you get paid back too soon!
Plus each of these mortgages is
guaranteed by the U.S. Government.
This bond gentlemen, is AAA rated.

FUND MANAGER
This is exactly what the Michigan
State pension fund has been looking
for. I’ll buy 20 million...

BOND TRADER #2
Come on live a little!

FUND MANAGER
Twenty five million.

LEWIS RANIERI
Let’s break out the paper work!

MUSIC: Something like BOOGIE OOGIE OOGIE by A TASTE OF HONEY
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In 1979, the dull atmosphere of the Solomon Brothers bond trading floor is transformed when Lewis Ranieri introduces the innovative concept of mortgage-backed securities. With a mix of crude humor and intelligence, he captivates skeptical pension fund managers, demonstrating how bundling mortgages can enhance yield while reducing risk. His engaging presentation leads to a significant commitment from the fund managers, marking a pivotal moment in the banking industry.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Humorous tone
  • Introduction of key concept
Weaknesses
  • Minimal emotional impact
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up the premise of the story, introduces a key character, and establishes the tone with a mix of humor and informative dialogue.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of introducing mortgage-backed securities in a comedic yet informative way is unique and engaging, setting the stage for the financial revolution that follows.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced by introducing the key concept of mortgage-backed securities and setting up the conflict and stakes for the characters involved.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the financial industry genre by focusing on the innovative ideas of the protagonist and the clash between traditional and modern banking practices. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined, with Lewis Ranieri standing out as a charismatic and innovative figure. The supporting characters add humor and depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there is minimal character change in this scene, it sets up the potential for growth and transformation in Lewis Ranieri.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to prove his innovative ideas and intelligence to his colleagues and potential investors. This reflects his desire for recognition and success in the banking industry.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to convince the state pension fund managers to invest in his mortgage-backed security idea. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in securing funding for his innovative financial product.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict is minimal in this scene, primarily focused on convincing the fund manager to invest in the new idea.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, with the fund managers questioning the protagonist's idea and creating tension that drives the conflict forward. The uncertainty of their reactions adds complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate in this scene, focusing on the financial investment decision of the fund manager.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a key concept and setting up the conflict and stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected reactions of the characters, the shifting dynamics of the presentation, and the uncertainty of whether the fund managers will invest in the protagonist's idea.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between traditional banking practices and the protagonist's new approach to investing in mortgage-backed securities. This challenges the values and beliefs of the characters involved, highlighting the risks and rewards of innovation in the financial industry.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene is more focused on humor and information than emotional impact, but it sets the stage for future emotional developments.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and informative, effectively conveying the complex financial concept in an engaging manner.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic characters, witty dialogue, and high-stakes conflict that keeps the audience invested in the outcome of the protagonist's pitch to the pension fund managers.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a fast pace, building tension through dialogue and action, and keeping the audience engaged in the protagonist's pitch to the pension fund managers.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character introductions, and dialogue formatting that enhances readability and clarity.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene transitions, engaging dialogue, and a well-defined conflict that drives the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The opening voiceover effectively sets the tone and context for the scene, providing a clear contrast between the mundane banking environment of the late 1970s and the impending disruption brought by Lewis Ranieri. However, the voiceover could benefit from a more engaging hook to draw the audience in immediately, perhaps by starting with a striking statistic or anecdote about the financial landscape at that time.
  • The characterization of Lewis Ranieri is vivid and memorable, but the scene could delve deeper into his motivations and personality. While his crude humor and disheveled appearance are established, adding a moment that showcases his passion for innovation or a personal stake in the mortgage-backed securities could create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
  • The dialogue among the bond traders is humorous and captures the camaraderie of the team, but it risks overshadowing the significance of the presentation. Balancing the comedic elements with the gravity of the financial concepts being introduced would enhance the scene's impact. For instance, after a joke, a brief moment of silence or a serious reaction from the fund managers could emphasize the importance of what is being discussed.
  • The transition from the casual atmosphere of the trading floor to the formal presentation could be smoother. Consider using visual cues or sound design to signify the shift in tone, such as dimming the lights or changing the music to something more serious as the presentation begins.
  • The use of visuals in the presentation is a strong choice, but they could be described in more detail to enhance the audience's understanding. For example, elaborating on the illustrations shown on the overhead projector would help viewers grasp the concept of mortgage-backed securities more clearly, especially for those unfamiliar with financial jargon.
Suggestions
  • Revise the opening voiceover to include a compelling hook that captures the audience's attention right away.
  • Add a moment that reveals Lewis Ranieri's personal motivations or passion for his work to create a deeper emotional connection.
  • Balance the humor in the dialogue with moments of seriousness to highlight the significance of the financial concepts being discussed.
  • Create a more distinct transition between the casual trading floor and the formal presentation to enhance the scene's tone.
  • Provide more detailed descriptions of the visuals used in the presentation to aid audience comprehension of mortgage-backed securities.



Scene 2 - The Reckless Rise
3 INT. STRIP CLUB - 1979 - NIGHT 3

The Bond Traders are partying at a strip club throwing
dollars everywhere and boozing. It disgusting and fun as hell
and none of these guys will live past 60.

MODERN TRADER (V.O.)
Lewis and his band of foul mouthed
bond traders took a sleepy
department and made it the most
profitable on Wall Street. Pretty
soon stocks and savings were almost
inconsequential to the big banks.
They were doing 50, 100, 200
billion in mortgage bonds and
dozens of other securities a year.


4 EXT. SKYLINE OF MANHATTAN - DUSK 4

TIME LAPSE: New impressive BANKING BUILDINGS SPRING UP and
dot the Manhattan skyline. Chase, B of A, Morgan Stanley,
Lehman Brothers etc.

MODERN TRADER (V.O.)
And America barely noticed as it’s
number one industry became boring
old banking. Then one day...
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 5.

MODERN TRADER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
almost thirty years later... in
2008... It all came crashing down.

SMASH CUT TO BLACK

1010 WINS ANCR (V.O.)
Wall Street has suffered one of
it’s worst days in history as
Lehman Brothers has declared
bankruptcy.


5 1) TRACKING SHOT PAST HOUSING DEVELOPMENT LAWNS WITH 5
FORECLOSED AND FOR SALE SIGNS ON ALL THEM (STOCK FOOTAGE).


6 2) AND THEN A LONG LINE OF APPLICANTS AT A MCDONALD’S JOB 6
FAIR. (STOCK FOOTAGE)


7 3) IMAGES OF THE DOW DROPPING. (STOCK FOOTAGE) 7

1010 WINS ANCR (V.O.)
This follows the demise of Bear
Stearns and a plummeting Dow Jones,
down four thousand since January.

MODERN TRADER (V.O.)
In the end Lewis Ranieri’s Mortgage
Backed Security mutated into a
monstrosity that collapsed the
whole world economy. And none of
the experts or leaders or talking
heads had a clue it was coming. I’m
guessing most of you still don’t
really know what happened. Yeah,
you got a sound bite you repeat so
you don’t sound dumb but come on...

WE FADE TO BLACK.

MODERN TRADER (V.O.)
But there were some who saw it
coming... While the whole world was
having a big ol’ party, a few
outsiders and weirdos saw what no
one else could. Not me, I’m not a
weirdo. I’m pretty cool. We’ll meet
later. These outsiders saw the
giant lie at the heart of the
economy. And they saw it by doing
something the rest of the suckers
never thought to do: they looked.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 6.


TITLE: THE BIG SHORT
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In a 1979 strip club, bond traders indulge in a hedonistic lifestyle, oblivious to the financial upheaval brewing beneath the surface. A modern trader's voiceover reflects on how Lewis Ranieri transformed the banking industry, shifting focus to mortgage bonds, while a time-lapse reveals the evolving Manhattan skyline. The narrative foreshadows the 2008 financial crisis, culminating in a stark black screen announcing Lehman Brothers' bankruptcy. Stock footage illustrates the crisis's aftermath, highlighting the disconnect between the traders' revelry and the impending disaster, as the voiceover critiques the ignorance of experts and hints at outsiders who foresaw the collapse.
Strengths
  • Effective use of visuals and voiceover to convey complex information
  • Foreshadowing of the central conflict and themes
  • Engaging storytelling that captures the audience's attention
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this scene
  • Reliance on voiceover for exposition
  • Lack of direct conflict or interpersonal drama

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets the stage for the main plot by introducing key historical events and themes. It engages the audience with a mix of informative narration and impactful visuals, creating a somber tone that foreshadows the impending crisis.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the rise and fall of the banking industry through the lens of mortgage-backed securities is compelling and thought-provoking. It sheds light on complex financial mechanisms in a digestible and engaging way.

Plot: 8

The plot is effectively advanced by showcasing the consequences of the characters' actions in the previous scene. It sets up the central conflict of the story and establishes the stakes for the main characters.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the financial crisis of 2008, presenting it through the lens of bond traders and outsiders who saw it coming. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and provide insight into the complexities of the financial world.


Character Development

Characters: 7.5

While the scene focuses more on historical events than individual characters, it hints at the personalities and motivations of key figures like Lewis Ranieri. The characters serve as catalysts for the unfolding crisis.

Character Changes: 5

There are no significant character changes in this scene, as it primarily focuses on historical events and external factors. The characters serve as conduits for the larger narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to establish his credibility as a successful trader while also hinting at his outsider status and unique perspective on the financial world.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to introduce the audience to the world of bond trading and set the stage for the financial crisis of 2008.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is a sense of impending crisis and conflict in the scene, it is more implicit than explicit. The conflict arises from the characters' actions and the systemic issues within the banking industry.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the protagonist's outsider status and unique perspective challenge the established norms of the financial world.

High Stakes: 7

The scene establishes high stakes by foreshadowing the impending financial crisis and its far-reaching consequences. It creates a sense of urgency and importance for the characters and the audience.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by providing crucial context and setting up the central conflict of the narrative. It lays the groundwork for the events that will unfold in the rest of the screenplay.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it subverts expectations by presenting the financial crisis through the perspective of bond traders and outsiders, offering a fresh take on a familiar topic.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of financial success and moral responsibility. The protagonist's narration hints at the ethical implications of the bond traders' actions and the consequences of their greed.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of unease and foreboding, creating an emotional impact through its portrayal of economic instability and human consequences. It sets the stage for a more emotionally charged narrative.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is minimal but impactful, with the voiceover providing crucial information and commentary on the events. It effectively conveys the tone and themes of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, intriguing premise, and the sense of impending disaster that keeps the audience hooked.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a mix of fast-paced action and slower moments of reflection that create a dynamic rhythm and build tension.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, effectively conveying the shifts in time and setting to enhance the narrative flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure, transitioning between different time periods and locations to build suspense and foreshadow the events of the financial crisis.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the hedonistic lifestyle of the bond traders, contrasting sharply with the serious implications of their actions. However, the tone may come off as overly celebratory, which could undermine the gravity of the financial crisis that follows. Balancing the fun with a hint of foreboding could enhance the emotional impact.
  • The voiceover from the Modern Trader provides a strong narrative thread, but it risks becoming too expository. While it sets the context well, it could benefit from more subtlety. Instead of directly stating the consequences of the traders' actions, consider showing the impact through visuals or character reactions.
  • The transition from the strip club to the Manhattan skyline is visually striking, but the time-lapse could feel abrupt. A smoother transition that connects the party atmosphere to the rising skyline might help maintain narrative flow. Perhaps include a brief moment where the traders' laughter fades into the sounds of construction or city life.
  • The use of stock footage to illustrate the aftermath of the financial crisis is effective, but it could be more integrated with the narrative. Instead of a sudden cut to black, consider a gradual fade that allows the audience to absorb the implications of the traders' actions before revealing the consequences.
  • The final lines of the Modern Trader's voiceover are engaging and set up the next part of the story well. However, the self-referential humor ('Not me, I’m not a weirdo. I’m pretty cool.') may detract from the seriousness of the preceding events. While humor can be effective, it should not undermine the gravity of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection among the traders that hints at their awareness of the risks they are taking. This could create a more complex portrayal of their characters and foreshadow the impending crisis.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere of the strip club. Describing the sounds, smells, and sights in more vivid detail could immerse the audience in the scene and emphasize the excess of the traders' lifestyle.
  • Explore the emotional reactions of the traders as they celebrate. Including brief interactions or dialogues that reveal their motivations or insecurities could add depth to their characters and make the audience more invested in their fates.
  • Consider using a more gradual build-up to the transition from the party to the skyline. Perhaps show the traders leaving the club, still in high spirits, before cutting to the skyline, which could serve as a metaphor for their rising fortunes and the impending downfall.
  • Revise the voiceover to maintain a balance between humor and seriousness. While the Modern Trader's commentary can be witty, ensure it aligns with the overall tone of the scene and the themes of the story.



Scene 3 - The Game and the Eye
8 EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY 8

GRAPHIC: 1985

A MIDDLE SCHOOL football game is in progress. MICHAEL BURRY
age 11 catches a ball and starts running. He’s pretty good.

His parents and coaches cheer him on. Cute 8th GRADE
CHEERLEADERS wave their pom poms.

PARENTS/COACH
Thatta way Michael! Go! Go!

He is TACKLED by a few players and as Michael gets up we hear
an OPPOSING PLAYER scream.

OPPOSING PLAYER
Ewwww! Look!

CU of a GLASS EYE on the field. Michael covers his eye with
his hand.

OPPOSING PLAYERS
Gross! His eye fell out! He’s a
freak! etc.

Michael picks the eye up and walks back to the side lines
still covering his one eye. Another player runs into replace
him.

PA ANCR (V.O.)
Replacing Michael Burry at tight
end, number 88, Scott Proffer!

A CUTE CHEERLEADER looks at Michael with her nose scrunched
up and then looks away. His MOM and DAD meet him.

MOM
It’s okay Michael. Let’s just wash
it off and put it back in.

DAD
You were playing so well son. I
heard the coach compliment you.

11 YR OLD MICHAEL BURRY
Can we just go home?

He walks away.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 7.


9 INT. INDOOR POOL - DAY 9

We see from under the water ADULT MICHAEL BURRY swimming
laps. His strokes are clean and strong.

Michael Burry gets out of the pool. He towels off and walks
immediately to the lockers.

MICHAEL BURRY (V.O.)
I’ve always been more comfortable
alone. I believe it’s because of my
glass eye. I lost the eye from a
childhood illness. It separates me
from people. Most social
interactions are awkward. For me,
for the person. Even when I try to
compliment someone it comes out
wrong... The compliment, not the
eye.
(quarter beat)
That wasn’t a joke. I’m just being
clear.

GRAPHIC: MICHAEL BURRY

MICHAEL BURRY (V.O.)
The other night there was a party
with some old college associates.
Genres: ["Drama","Biography"]

Summary During a middle school football game in 1985, 11-year-old Michael Burry showcases his skills until he is tackled, causing his glass eye to fall out. This incident leads to ridicule from opposing players and embarrassment for Michael, despite the support from his parents and coaches. Feeling isolated, he ultimately asks to go home. The scene transitions to adult Michael swimming laps, reflecting on how his childhood experiences and his glass eye affected his social interactions.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Unique character portrayal
  • Effective use of symbolism
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Sparse dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively delves into the inner thoughts and emotions of the character, creating a poignant and relatable moment. The use of the glass eye as a symbol of isolation and awkwardness adds depth to the character.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring a character's internal struggles and social isolation due to a physical difference is compelling and adds a unique perspective to the narrative.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot doesn't advance significantly in this scene, it provides crucial insight into the character's background and sets the stage for potential growth and development.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique and unsettling element with the glass eye, portraying the protagonist's struggles with authenticity. The dialogue and actions feel genuine and relatable.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The scene focuses heavily on character development, particularly in showcasing the protagonist's internal struggles and emotional complexity.

Character Changes: 7

While there isn't a significant change in the character's external circumstances, there is a subtle shift in his emotional state and self-awareness.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to cope with the social stigma and isolation caused by his glass eye. He desires acceptance and understanding from others.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the social challenges and bullying he faces due to his glass eye.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict is primarily internal, focusing on the protagonist's struggle with social interactions and self-image.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing bullying and social isolation that create obstacles for him to overcome.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes are primarily internal, revolving around the protagonist's sense of self-worth and acceptance.

Story Forward: 6

The scene provides important background information and emotional depth for the character, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected element of the glass eye falling out, adding a layer of tension and discomfort.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between societal norms of acceptance and the protagonist's desire for understanding and empathy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly in highlighting the character's vulnerability and loneliness.

Dialogue: 7

The internal monologue and limited dialogue effectively convey the character's thoughts and emotions, but more interaction with other characters could enhance the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it captures the protagonist's vulnerability and struggles in a relatable and emotional way, drawing the audience into his world.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, allowing the audience to connect with the protagonist's struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear descriptions and dialogue that enhance the storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a setup of the protagonist's internal and external goals, leading to a resolution that sets up future conflicts.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes Michael Burry's character and his struggles with social interactions due to his glass eye. However, the transition from the football field to the pool feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative.
  • The dialogue is realistic and captures the innocence of childhood, but it could benefit from more emotional depth. For instance, Michael's response to his parents could reflect more of his internal conflict rather than a simple request to go home.
  • The use of the glass eye as a symbol of Michael's isolation is strong, but the scene could delve deeper into how this experience shapes his worldview. Adding a moment of reflection or a brief flashback could enrich the audience's understanding of his character.
  • The voiceover provides insight into Michael's thoughts, but it risks feeling expository. It might be more impactful to show these feelings through actions or interactions rather than telling the audience directly.
  • The cheerleaders and parents cheering for Michael create a contrast with the ridicule he faces, which is effective. However, the opposing players' taunts could be more varied to enhance the emotional impact of the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment where Michael interacts with his parents after the incident, allowing for a deeper exploration of his feelings and their support.
  • Introduce a visual or auditory cue that connects the football scene to the pool scene, such as the sound of splashing water or a lingering shot of the football field before cutting to the pool.
  • Incorporate a flashback or a brief memory that illustrates a past experience related to his glass eye, providing context for his current feelings of isolation.
  • Revise the voiceover to be more subtle, perhaps by integrating it into the action rather than having it serve as a direct commentary on his feelings.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by showing a moment of vulnerability for Michael, such as a brief hesitation before he picks up his glass eye, to emphasize the weight of the situation.



Scene 4 - The Awakening of Concern
10 INT. WATER FRONT RESTAURANT - NIGHT 10

There is a party going on with upper class professionals
drinking white wine and Heinekens. Michael stands alone
between two groups of professionals talking.

LAWYER
We bought the house two years ago
for 650 and we just sold it for
950. We put 30 thousand into it
tops...


11 EXT. WATER FRONT RESTAURANT - NIGHT 11

FLASH to Michael starting his car, a Honda, and leaving.

MICHAEL BURRY (V.O.)
After ten minutes I left and went
home and researched state by state
mortgage fraud rates until three in
the morning.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 8.


12 INT. MICHAEL BURRY’S FUND OFFICE - DAY 12

Michael is seated behind his desk in a t-shirt and shorts.

MICHAEL BURRY
Did you know they’re going up?
Highest fraud rates since the
1930’s.

We reveal he is talking to a YOUNG EAGER ANALYST in his
office at the center of SCION CAPITAL, Michael Burry’s fund.
Michael’s office is at the front enclosed in glass. There are
20 ANALYSTS working at desks in the main room outside the
glass.

A big white board shows the quarterly profits from Scion:
+38%

YOUNG ANALYST
No. I didn’t know that.

MICHAEL BURRY
I’m sorry if I’m going on and on.
My wife says I need to share more.

MARCH 2005

3 years 6 months until the crash

YOUNG ANALYST
That seems healthy.

MICHAEL BURRY
I like your hair. Did you cut it
yourself?

YOUNG ANALYST
What? No. I uh, paid someone.

MICHAEL BURRY
Oh.

Beat.

YOUNG ANALYST
So, do I get the job? I really
think I could help your fund.

MICHAEL BURRY
What? Oh sure. Right. Yes...um
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 9.


YOUNG ANALYST
David.
(onward)
Great! I guess I’ll find a desk. Is
there anything you want me to work
on for starters?

MICHAEL BURRY
Yes...

Another long beat. Michael thinks. This beat keeps going.
Finally the Young Analyst starts to speak just as Michael
does.

MICHAEL BURRY (CONT’D) YOUNG ANALYST
Did you find it strange- You can let me know later-
I’m sorry.

MICHAEL BURRY
Did you find it odd that when the
tech bubble burst in 2001 the
housing market in San Jose, the
tech center of the world, went up?

YOUNG ANALYST
Huh. I guess. I mean, no. It’s
housing. It’s always AAA rated, low
risk.

MICHAEL BURRY
Yes.... That’s the idea...
(he knows what he needs
now)
I need you to get me the top 20
selling mortgage bonds.

YOUNG ANALYST
So you want to know what the top 20
selling mortgage bonds are?

MICHAEL BURRY
No. I want to know what mortgages
are in each one.

YOUNG ANALYST
Wait, aren’t those bonds made up of
thousands and thousands of
mortgages?

MICHAEL BURRY
Yes.

The Analyst waits for Burry to complete the thought but he
doesn’t.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 10.


YOUNG ANALYST
Right away Dr. Burry.

Finally he leaves. Burry sits down at his desk and PUTS EAR
BUDS IN while Googling “SEC mortgage brokerage firm
violations” He gets no hits.

MUSIC: Some hard-core heavy metal like BLOOD THUNDER by
MASTADON

An Asian American ASSISTANT walks by Burry’s office window
and LOOKS AT CAMERA.

ASIAN AMERICAN ASSISTANT
I was Michael’s actual assistant
for years. I know what you’re
thinking, a hedge fund manager with
a glass eye who unwinds by
listening to thrash metal, come on.
But he really did do that.
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In a waterfront restaurant, Michael Burry overhears a lawyer discussing a lucrative real estate deal, igniting his worries about rising mortgage fraud rates. The following day, he engages with a young analyst, David, urging him to investigate the top-selling mortgage bonds. As Michael's anxiety about the housing market deepens, he isolates himself in his office, preparing for a thorough examination of mortgage brokerage violations, all while heavy metal music underscores his intense focus.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Effective character development
  • Compelling concept
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Minimal external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively establishes Michael Burry's character, introduces the central conflict of the story, and sets a serious tone. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, providing insight into Burry's thought process and motivations.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on Burry's research and investment strategy, is compelling and sets up important plot points for the story. It establishes the central theme of financial risk and innovation.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene is crucial in laying the foundation for the story's central conflict and character development. It introduces key elements that will drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on financial markets and investment strategies, with characters engaging in nuanced discussions about mortgage bonds and fraud rates. The dialogue feels authentic and insightful, adding originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, particularly Michael Burry, are well-developed and intriguing. Their interactions and dialogue reveal important aspects of their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, it sets up the potential for growth and development in Michael Burry as the story progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

Michael's internal goal in this scene is to uncover potential mortgage fraud rates and make strategic decisions for his fund. This reflects his deep desire for financial success and his fear of missing out on lucrative opportunities.

External Goal: 7

Michael's external goal is to hire a new analyst and gather information on mortgage bonds. This reflects the immediate challenge of expanding his fund and making informed investment decisions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is more internal, focusing on Burry's research and investment decisions. It sets up the potential for future external conflicts related to the financial market.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the protagonist's own doubts and challenges in the financial world. The uncertainty of the mortgage market and the protagonist's unconventional approach create a sense of opposition and conflict.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in terms of financial risk and the potential impact of Burry's investment decisions on his fund and the broader market.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing key plot points and establishing the central conflict of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the protagonist's unconventional thinking and the unexpected twists in the financial discussions. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the story will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the nature of risk and financial markets. Michael questions the conventional wisdom of low-risk housing investments and challenges the status quo.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, primarily driven by Burry's determination and unconventional personality traits.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and plot. It effectively conveys the tone and themes of the story.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic dialogue, intriguing character interactions, and high-stakes financial discussions. The tension and conflict keep the audience invested in the protagonist's decisions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and reflection. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and builds tension effectively.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and character actions. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure, moving from a social setting to a business environment seamlessly. The pacing and rhythm of the dialogue contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes Michael Burry's character as socially awkward yet brilliant, but it could benefit from more depth in his interactions with the Young Analyst. The dialogue feels somewhat stilted and could be more natural to enhance the realism of their relationship.
  • The transition from the waterfront restaurant to Burry's office is abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the narrative flow and provide a clearer connection between the two settings. Consider adding a brief moment that reflects Burry's thoughts or feelings as he leaves the restaurant.
  • The dialogue between Burry and the Young Analyst lacks tension or conflict, which could make it more engaging. Introducing a moment of disagreement or a challenge in their conversation could heighten the stakes and showcase Burry's intensity and the Analyst's eagerness.
  • The use of the voiceover is effective in conveying Burry's internal thoughts, but it could be more integrated into the scene. Instead of a straightforward narration, consider using it to reflect on the implications of the mortgage fraud rates he discovers, adding layers to his character's motivations.
  • The Asian American Assistant's line at the end feels somewhat disconnected from the rest of the scene. While it adds a humorous touch, it could be better integrated into the narrative. Perhaps this character could have a brief interaction with Burry earlier in the scene to establish their relationship.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the dialogue between Burry and the Young Analyst by incorporating more subtext and emotional stakes. This could involve Burry expressing frustration or urgency about the mortgage fraud rates, while the Analyst shows a mix of confusion and eagerness to prove himself.
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Burry as he leaves the restaurant, perhaps showing his internal struggle with social situations or his obsession with the mortgage market. This could deepen the audience's understanding of his character.
  • Introduce a moment of tension or disagreement in the conversation between Burry and the Young Analyst to create a more dynamic interaction. This could involve the Analyst questioning Burry's methods or expressing skepticism about the mortgage market.
  • Integrate the voiceover more seamlessly into the scene by having Burry's thoughts directly relate to the dialogue or actions happening in real-time, rather than as a separate narration.
  • Revisit the Asian American Assistant's line to ensure it feels more connected to the scene. Consider having them interact with Burry earlier, perhaps offering a brief comment that highlights his quirks or work habits.



Scene 5 - The Awakening of Michael Burry
13 INT. SCION CAPITAL - MICHAEL BURRY’S OFFICE - NEXT DAY 13

CU of a COMPUTER SCREEN showing THOUSANDS OF COMPLICATED
LINES OF MORTGAGES from a MORTGAGE BACKED SECURITY. The lines
are almost indecipherable but we see Michael Burry is reading
them intently like it’s a page turning mystery novel.

MICHAEL BURRY (V.O.)
(his internal thought
process)
30 days late... Rate adjusts in one
year... Foreclosed... Paid on
time... rate adjusts in one year...
Investment grade mortgage bonds
full of high risk interest only
adjustable rate mortgages... Do
people really understand how an
adjustable rate mortgage works?...
Most of these are no money down
loans... 105 LTV... 540 Fico
score?... Why are the mortgage
companies giving these people
mortgages...?

Outside Burry’s office we see the Analyst he just hired David
at his desk talking to another ANALYST #2

YOUNG ANALYST
What’s he doing? He hasn’t moved
all day.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 11.


ANALYST #2
He does this every few days. He
hasn’t spoken to me since he hired
me.

MICHAEL BURRY (V.O.)
90 days late... 30 days late...
These bonds are one of the banks’
biggest revenue sources... They
need more mortgages to fill them...
That’s why it’s all adjustable rate
high risk... They’re giving
mortgages to people who can’t
afford mortgages in order to fill
these bonds, in order to earn
fees...

As he continues to read we TIME LAPSE and see the employees
start to leave at the end of day. Eventually THE MAIN
ANALYST’S OFFICE IS EMPTY and THE SUN IS COMING UP OUTSIDE.

MICHAEL BURRY (V.O.)
These mortgage bonds might fail...
No one thinks they
can fail, but all that subprime
credit risk is real, no matter how
they slice and dice it... 30 days
late, rate will
adjust next year... 60 days late...
These bonds will fail...


14 INT. MICHAEL’S OFFICE - THE NEXT AFTERNOON 14

Michael is on the phone. He clearly hasn’t slept and his
clothes are rumpled. There are water bottles everywhere.
Michael brushes his teeth over a garbage can with water.

MICHAEL BURRY
Lawrence. I found something really
interesting.

LAWRENCE FIELDS (V.O.)
Great Michael. Whenever you find
something interesting we all tend
to make money. What stock are you
valuing?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 12.


MICHAEL BURRY
No stocks. I want to short the
housing market.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense and urgent scene, Michael Burry obsessively analyzes a complex mortgage-backed security, uncovering the risks posed by high-risk adjustable-rate mortgages. As his colleagues notice his isolation and fatigue, Burry works late into the night, ultimately deciding to short the housing market based on his alarming findings. The scene captures his internal conflict and determination, setting the stage for his pivotal actions in the looming financial crisis.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Strong character development
  • Compelling plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited interaction between characters
  • Heavy reliance on voiceover for internal thoughts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up the main character's pivotal discovery and the high stakes involved in his decision to short the housing market. It creates a sense of urgency and intrigue that propels the narrative forward.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Michael Burry uncovering the flaws in the mortgage market and deciding to bet against it is compelling and sets the stage for the larger financial crisis to come.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial as it marks a turning point in the story, driving the narrative towards the eventual collapse of the housing market. It effectively establishes the central conflict and stakes.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the financial industry, highlighting the complexities and risks involved in mortgage bonds trading. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Michael Burry is well-developed in this scene, showcasing his intelligence, determination, and foresight. The supporting characters provide context and contrast to Burry's singular focus.

Character Changes: 8

Michael Burry undergoes a significant change in this scene, transitioning from curiosity to conviction as he decides to take action based on his research.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the flaws and risks in the mortgage bonds market, reflecting his need for truth and understanding in a world driven by profit and deception.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to short the housing market, reflecting his desire to profit from the impending collapse of the mortgage bonds market.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Burry grapples with the implications of his findings and the decision to short the housing market. The tension is palpable as he delves deeper into his research.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external challenges that threaten his financial success and moral integrity.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as Burry's decision to short the housing market has far-reaching consequences for both his career and the financial world at large.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a key plot development and setting the stage for the larger conflict to unfold.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the protagonist's unexpected decision to short the housing market, challenging the audience's expectations and adding suspense to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethical implications of the financial industry's practices, challenging the protagonist's beliefs about honesty and integrity in a profit-driven world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of unease and anticipation, as the audience is drawn into Burry's world of high-stakes finance and risky decisions.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue serves the purpose of conveying information about the mortgage market and Burry's growing concerns. It is functional and helps drive the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, intense atmosphere, and high-stakes financial drama.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the protagonist's discoveries.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay in the financial genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a financial drama, effectively building tension and suspense as the protagonist uncovers the risks in the market.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Michael Burry's obsessive nature and his deep dive into the complexities of mortgage-backed securities. The use of voiceover allows the audience to access his internal thought process, which is crucial for understanding his character's motivations and the gravity of the situation he is uncovering.
  • However, the scene could benefit from more visual variety. The current focus on the computer screen and Burry's voiceover creates a somewhat static feel. Incorporating more dynamic visuals, such as close-ups of Burry's facial expressions or reactions to the data, could enhance the emotional engagement and tension.
  • The dialogue, particularly in the voiceover, is informative but could be more concise. Some lines feel repetitive, such as the emphasis on the adjustable-rate mortgages and the risks associated with them. Streamlining this dialogue could maintain the audience's attention while still conveying the necessary information.
  • The transition from the end of the workday to the next morning is effective in showing the passage of time and Burry's dedication. However, it might be more impactful to include a brief moment of interaction between Burry and his analyst, David, to highlight the growing concern among the team about Burry's isolation and obsession.
  • The scene ends with a strong hook as Burry reveals his intention to short the housing market, but it could be enhanced by adding a moment of reflection or a visual cue that emphasizes the weight of this decision. This would help to underscore the significance of his findings and set the stage for the ensuing conflict.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more dynamic visuals, such as close-ups of Burry's expressions or reactions, to enhance emotional engagement.
  • Streamline the voiceover dialogue to avoid repetition and maintain audience attention while still conveying critical information.
  • Consider adding a brief interaction between Burry and David to highlight the growing concern about Burry's isolation and obsession.
  • Add a moment of reflection or a visual cue at the end of the scene to emphasize the weight of Burry's decision to short the housing market.
  • Explore the use of sound design, such as the heavy metal music that Burry listens to, to create a more immersive atmosphere that reflects his character.



Scene 6 - Clash of Perspectives
15 INT. METRO CAPITAL - LAWRENCE FIELDS’S OFFICE - SAME TIME 15

LAWRENCE FIELDS’S office is the opposite of Michael’s. It’s
lavish with Manhattan views as is he.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
Haha! Really? But the housing
market is rock solid. Greenspan
just said bubbles are regional,
defaults are rare.

FIELDS motions to his assistant through the open door.

LAWRENCE FIELDS (CONT’D)
Tell them I’ll be there in a
minute...

MICHAEL BURRY
Greenspan’s wrong.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
I don’t think you mean to do it but
sometimes you sound very dismissive
and superior Michael. Alan
Greenspan is the greatest Fed
Chairman in history.

MICHAEL BURRY
It’s a fact. Greenspan’s wrong.
He’s too focused on being right to
realize he’s wrong. I don’t know
how else you want me to say it.

Burry spits out his coffee gargle into the garbage.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
Look, Metro Capital backed you four
years ago when you were a doctor
with a dinky web page and some
inheritance money. And we’ve all
done very well. Why don’t you just
stick with stocks?

MICHAEL BURRY
I look for value whereever it can
be found. And the fact is: mortgage
backed securities are filled with
extremely risky subprime adjustable
rate loans.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 13.

MICHAEL BURRY (CONT'D)
Once the majority of adjustable
rates kick in 07’ they will begin
to fail and when they fail above
15% the whole bond is worthless.

The scene freezes.

MODERN TRADER (V.O.)
Mortgage backed securities,
subprime loans, tranches... Pretty
confusing right? Does it make you
feel bored? Or stupid? Well, it’s
supposed to. Wall Street loves to
use confusing terms to make you
think only they can do what they
do. Or even better, for you to
leave them the fuck alone. So
here’s Scarlett Johansson under a
water falls to explain...
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In Lawrence Fields's opulent office, he confidently discusses the housing market, referencing Alan Greenspan's optimistic views. Michael Burry confronts Fields, arguing that the market is saturated with risky subprime adjustable-rate loans that will fail in 2007, rendering mortgage-backed securities worthless. Despite Fields's dismissive attitude and encouragement for Burry to focus on stocks, Burry remains steadfast in his belief that the housing market is on the brink of collapse. The scene culminates in a tense standoff, ending with a freeze frame and a voiceover introducing complex financial terms, highlighting the confusion surrounding Wall Street's practices.
Strengths
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Clear conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual elements
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up the central conflict of the story by introducing the risky nature of mortgage-backed securities and establishing Michael Burry's determination to go against the mainstream belief in the stability of the housing market.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of challenging conventional wisdom in the financial world and the exploration of risky investment strategies is engaging and thought-provoking.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene as Burry makes a bold decision to short the housing market based on his findings, setting the stage for the main conflict of the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces complex financial concepts in a relatable and engaging way, offering a fresh perspective on the housing market collapse. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and grounded in real-world financial dynamics.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Michael Burry and Lawrence Fields are well-developed in this scene, with distinct personalities and conflicting motivations driving the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 8

Michael Burry undergoes a significant change in this scene as he decides to go against the advice of Lawrence Fields and pursue his risky investment strategy.

Internal Goal: 8

Michael Burry's internal goal is to challenge the conventional wisdom of the financial industry and prove his own analysis correct. This reflects his need for validation of his expertise and his desire to make a significant impact.

External Goal: 9

Michael Burry's external goal is to convince Lawrence Fields and others of the impending collapse of the housing market and the risks associated with mortgage-backed securities. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in being taken seriously and making profitable investment decisions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Burry and Fields is intense and drives the scene forward, creating tension and suspense for the audience.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Lawrence Fields representing the establishment and Michael Burry challenging his beliefs. The audience is left uncertain of who will prevail in the financial debate.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of Burry's decision to short the housing market are clearly conveyed in this scene, adding urgency and tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major turning point in Burry's investment approach, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the conflicting viewpoints of the characters and the uncertainty surrounding the housing market collapse. The audience is left unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Michael Burry's belief in the inherent risk of mortgage-backed securities and Lawrence Fields's trust in the stability of the housing market. This challenges Burry's values of truth and analysis against Fields's reliance on conventional wisdom and authority.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a sense of concern and anticipation from the audience as Burry takes a risky stance against the prevailing market beliefs.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, effectively conveying the clash of ideologies between Burry and Fields and highlighting the high stakes involved in Burry's investment strategy.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high-stakes financial discussion, the clash of ideologies between the characters, and the dynamic dialogue that keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with rapid-fire dialogue and freeze frames emphasizing key points. The rhythm of the conversation keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' debate.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The use of freeze frames adds a unique visual element to the structure.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a financial drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the dialogue contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and suspense.


Critique
  • The scene effectively contrasts the lavish environment of Lawrence Fields with Michael Burry's more austere demeanor, highlighting the differences in their perspectives on the housing market. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the conflict between the characters. Currently, it feels somewhat one-dimensional, with Burry's conviction and Fields' skepticism laid out too plainly.
  • Michael's character is established as intelligent and determined, but the scene could further explore his emotional state. Adding a moment of vulnerability or frustration could make him more relatable and complex. For instance, showing a brief flash of doubt or a personal stake in the outcome could enhance audience empathy.
  • The dialogue is informative but risks feeling expository. While it's important to convey the stakes of the mortgage-backed securities, the scene could incorporate more dramatic tension. Instead of just stating facts, the characters could engage in a more heated debate, allowing their personalities to clash more vividly.
  • The voiceover from the Modern Trader serves as a helpful narrative device to explain complex financial concepts, but it interrupts the flow of the scene. Consider integrating these explanations more organically into the dialogue or using visual aids within the scene to maintain immersion.
  • The freeze-frame moment feels abrupt and could be better integrated. Instead of a sudden halt, consider a smoother transition that leads into the voiceover, perhaps by having Burry's statement resonate in the air before the freeze, emphasizing the weight of his words.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by adding a personal element to Burry's argument. Perhaps he could reference a past experience that informs his current perspective on the housing market.
  • Introduce more conflict in the dialogue. Allow Fields to challenge Burry's assertions with specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate his confidence in the market, creating a more dynamic exchange.
  • Consider using visual metaphors or props in the scene to represent the complexities of mortgage-backed securities, allowing the audience to grasp the concepts without relying solely on dialogue or voiceover.
  • Rework the transition to the voiceover to feel more seamless. Instead of a freeze-frame, perhaps have Burry's last line echo as the scene fades into the explanation, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Add a moment of silence or a pause after Burry's declaration about shorting the housing market, allowing the weight of his statement to settle before transitioning to the voiceover, enhancing its impact.



Scene 7 - The Urgency of Risk
16 EXT. SMALL WATERFALL - DAY 16

SCARLETT JOHANSSON in a white T shirt and cut off jeans let’s
the waterfall run over her while explaining mortgage backed
securities.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON
Basically Lewis Ranieri’s Mortgage
bonds were amazingly profitable for
the big banks. They made billions
and billions off of their 2% fee on
each of these bonds they sold. But
then they started running out of
mortgages to put in them. After
all, there’s only so many homes and
so many people with good enough
jobs to buy them. So the banks
starting doing something different.
Instead of creating mortgage bonds
that were guaranteed by the US
government, they started creating
their own private mortgage bonds.
No government, no pesky standards
like good credit or minimum income.
And then the big banks were able to
fill the bonds with riskier and
riskier mortgages and keep the
profit machine churning. By the
way, the risky mortgages are called
“subprime.” Anytime you hear
subprime, think shit.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 13A.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON (CONT'D)
Michael Burry found out these
mortgage bonds that we supposedly
65% AAA were actually mostly full
of shit, so now he’s going to
“short” the bonds, which means to
“bet against.” Got it? Good.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 14.


17 INT. MICHAEL BURRY’S FUND OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 17

Back to the scene.

MICHAEL BURRY
It’s only a matter of time before
someone else sees this investment.
We have to act now.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
And how do you know the bonds are
built on subprime crap? Aren’t they
filled with hundreds of pages of
mortgages?

MICHAEL BURRY
I read them.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
You read them? No one reads them.
Only the lawyers who put them
together read them.

MICHAEL BURRY
I don’t think they even know what
they made. The whole housing market
is propped up on these bad loans.
It’s a time bomb. And I want to
short it.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
Through what instrument Michael?
There are no insurance contracts or
options for mortgage bonds. The
bonds are too stable. No one would
buy them.

MICHAEL BURRY
I’m going to get a bank to make me
one. Then I’m going to buy a ton of
them.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In this scene, Scarlett Johansson casually explains the complexities of mortgage-backed securities under a small waterfall, highlighting how banks profited and shifted to riskier private mortgage bonds. The scene transitions to Michael Burry in his office, where he expresses urgency about shorting these bonds, recognizing the risks of subprime mortgages. Despite skepticism from Lawrence Fields regarding the practicality of Burry's plan, Burry remains determined to act quickly, culminating in his declaration to get a bank to create a shorting instrument for the mortgage bonds.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Clear exposition of complex financial concepts
  • Strong character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some exposition-heavy moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up the main conflict and stakes of the story while providing crucial information about the financial world. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, and the tension between the characters is palpable.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the financial crisis of 2008 through the perspectives of different characters in the finance industry is innovative and engaging. The scene introduces complex financial concepts in a way that is accessible to the audience.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in setting up the main conflict of the story and establishing the motivations of the characters. It moves the narrative forward by introducing the key decision that will drive the rest of the film.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces complex financial concepts in a clear and engaging way, making it original and fresh. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and grounded in the financial world.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their motivations are clear. Michael Burry's determination and Lawrence Fields's skepticism create a compelling dynamic that drives the scene forward.

Character Changes: 7

Michael Burry undergoes a significant change in this scene as he decides to take a bold and risky financial position. This decision marks a turning point for his character.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth about the risky mortgage bonds and take action to profit from the impending market crash. This reflects his desire for financial success and his belief in his own analysis skills.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to short the mortgage bonds and profit from the market collapse. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of convincing others of the risky nature of the bonds and finding a way to profit from them.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Michael Burry and Lawrence Fields regarding the stability of mortgage bonds creates tension and drives the scene forward. The high stakes of the financial decision add to the conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters challenging the protagonist's beliefs and strategies. The audience is left unsure of how the conflict will be resolved, adding tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of Michael Burry's decision to short the housing market add tension and urgency to the scene. The financial risks involved raise the stakes for the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing the central conflict and setting up the main plotline of the film. It establishes the key decision that will drive the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' unexpected decisions and the complex financial concepts at play. The audience is kept on their toes as they try to understand the characters' motivations and actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethics of profiting from a market crash and the morality of taking advantage of risky financial instruments. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the financial system and his own actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

While the scene is more focused on conveying information and setting up the plot, there is still an emotional impact in Michael Burry's determination and the high stakes involved in his decision.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, informative, and drives the scene forward. It effectively conveys the complex financial concepts while also revealing the conflicting perspectives of the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, fast-paced dialogue, and complex financial concepts. The tension and urgency keep the audience invested in the characters' decisions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and tense, mirroring the urgency of the characters' decisions and the high stakes of the financial situation. The rhythm of the dialogue keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a financial drama, with clear setups and payoffs in the dialogue and character interactions.


Critique
  • The use of Scarlett Johansson as a narrator in a casual setting is an interesting choice, but it risks pulling the audience out of the narrative. The juxtaposition of a waterfall and a serious financial topic may come off as too whimsical or distracting, undermining the gravity of the subject matter.
  • The dialogue is informative but feels overly expository. While it's important to convey complex financial concepts, the delivery can come off as a lecture rather than a natural conversation. This could alienate viewers who may not be familiar with the terms being discussed.
  • The transition between Scarlett's explanation and Michael Burry's office feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the scene, allowing the audience to digest the information presented before shifting back to the characters.
  • Michael Burry's character is portrayed as intelligent and assertive, but his dialogue could benefit from more emotional depth. Instead of just stating facts, he could express his frustration or urgency about the situation, making his motivations clearer and more relatable.
  • Lawrence Fields's skepticism is a good counterpoint to Burry's confidence, but his character could be fleshed out more. Adding a line or two that reveals his own motivations or fears about the market could create a more dynamic interaction.
Suggestions
  • Consider using a different visual metaphor or setting for Scarlett's explanation that aligns more closely with the serious nature of the financial crisis. Perhaps a more subdued environment would better reflect the stakes involved.
  • Revise the dialogue to incorporate more natural speech patterns and emotional undertones. Instead of a straightforward explanation, consider having Scarlett use analogies or personal anecdotes that make the information more relatable.
  • Enhance the transition between Scarlett's narration and the office scene by incorporating a visual or auditory cue that links the two settings, such as a sound effect of the waterfall fading into the background noise of the office.
  • Add emotional stakes to Michael Burry's dialogue. Instead of simply stating facts, have him express his concerns about the implications of the subprime market on everyday people, which would make his character more compelling.
  • Develop Lawrence Fields's character further by including a line that hints at his own vulnerabilities or doubts about the market, which would create a more engaging dynamic between him and Burry.



Scene 8 - Betting Against the Bull
18 EXT. GOLDMAN SACHS - MANHATTAN - DAY 18

We push in on Goldman Sachs. We see FINANCIAL NEWS on a
monitor outside playing Jim Cramer’s Mad Money show.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 15.


JIM CRAMER
Folks, this market ain't dropping!
It’s like the running of the bulls
in Pamplona. Either get out of the
way or invest, invest, invest!

THE FEMALE SALES REP (V.O.)
So, Dr. Burry, tell us about this
trade.


19 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - GOLDMAN SACHS - DAY 19

A SALES REP (LUCY THALIA), an INDIAN NUMBERS GUY (DEEB
WINSTON) all from Goldman Sachs sit across from Michael
Burry. Michael looks very Men’s Warehouse in a blue blazer
and slacks compared to the Goldman group who looks very GQ in
Prada suits.

MICHAEL BURRY
I want to buy swaps on mortgage
bonds. A credit default swap that
pays off if the underlying bond
fails.

SALES REP
You want to bet against the housing
market?

MICHAEL BURRY
Yes.

DEEB WINSTON
Why? These bonds only fail if
millions of Americans don’t pay
their mortgages. That’s never
happened in history. If you’ll
excuse me Dr. Burry, it seems like
a foolish investment.

MICHAEL BURRY
Based on prevailing sentiment of
the market, the big banks and
popular culture, yes, it’s a
foolish investment. But everyone’s
wrong.

There’s a beat and then everyone laughs except Michael Burry
who wasn’t kidding.

SALES REP
This is Wall Street, Dr. Burry. If
you offer us free money, we are
going to take it.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 16.


MICHAEL BURRY
My one concern is that when the
bonds fail I want to be certain of
payment in case of solvency issues
with your bank.

They are shocked.

SALES REP
I’m sorry. Are you for real? You
want to be against the housing
market the most reliable sector of
the American economy and you’re
worried we won’t pay you?

MICHAEL BURRY
Yes. That’s correct.

The Goldman people whisper amongst themselves for a beat.

DEEB WINSTON
We could work out a pay as we go
structure that would pay out if the
bond’s value falls. But it would
also apply to your payments if the
value of the mortgage bond goes up.
You’d have to pay us monthly
premiums.

SALES REP
Is that acceptable Dr. Burry?

Mike starts pulling thick DOCUMENTS out of his backpack. He
slides them across the table.

MICHAEL BURRY
Yes it is. Here are prospectuses on
6 mortgage-backed securities I want
to short.

They scan them. They're diligent, they make us wait.

DEEB WINSTON
These should be fine.

SALES REP
We are prepared to sell you five
million in credit default swaps on
these mortgage bonds.

MICHAEL BURRY
Can we do 100 million?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 17.
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In a tense conference room at Goldman Sachs, Michael Burry challenges the prevailing bullish sentiment by proposing to buy $100 million in credit default swaps on mortgage bonds, betting against the housing market. Despite initial skepticism from the Goldman team, including Lucy Thalia and Deeb Winston, Burry insists that the market is misjudging the stability of housing and expresses concern about the bank's solvency when the bonds fail. After a heated discussion, the Goldman team agrees to a pay-as-you-go structure for the swaps, setting the stage for Burry's unconventional investment strategy.
Strengths
  • Strong dialogue
  • High conflict level
  • Innovative concept
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Slightly predictable outcome

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted, introducing a pivotal plot point with high stakes and conflict. It sets up the main character's bold decision and establishes tension with the Goldman Sachs representatives.


Story Content

Concept: 9.5

The concept of shorting the housing market through credit default swaps is innovative and central to the plot of the film. It introduces complex financial concepts in a compelling way, engaging the audience in the world of high finance.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Michael Burry's decision to bet against the housing market, setting up a major conflict and driving the story forward. It establishes the central theme of contrarian investing and foreshadows the financial crisis.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the financial thriller genre by focusing on a contrarian investment strategy and highlighting the protagonist's unconventional beliefs. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Michael Burry, are well-defined and their motivations are clear. The clash between Burry and the Goldman Sachs representatives adds depth to the character dynamics.

Character Changes: 8

Michael Burry undergoes a significant change in this scene, transitioning from a lone contrarian thinker to a determined investor willing to take on the financial establishment. His decision to short the housing market marks a pivotal moment in his character arc.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to go against prevailing sentiment and make a risky investment in credit default swaps on mortgage bonds. This reflects his belief in his own analysis and his willingness to take a contrarian approach.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to secure a large amount of credit default swaps on mortgage bonds from Goldman Sachs. This reflects his immediate challenge of convincing the financial institution to agree to his risky investment strategy.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The conflict in the scene is high, as Michael Burry challenges the established norms of Wall Street and faces resistance from the Goldman Sachs representatives. The clash of ideologies creates tension and propels the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the protagonist faces skepticism and resistance from the Goldman Sachs representatives. The audience is unsure of how the negotiations will turn out.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, as Michael Burry risks his reputation and financial resources by betting against the housing market. The outcome of his decision could have significant consequences for both him and the financial industry.

Story Forward: 10

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a key plot development and setting up the central conflict of the film. Michael Burry's decision to short the housing market has far-reaching implications for the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the protagonist's risky investment strategy and the skepticism of the Goldman Sachs representatives. The audience is unsure of how the negotiations will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's belief in his analysis and the skepticism of the Goldman Sachs representatives. This challenges the protagonist's worldview and values, as he must defend his unconventional investment strategy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a sense of tension and anticipation, as the audience witnesses Michael Burry's bold decision and the reactions of the other characters. While not deeply emotional, it sets the stage for the high stakes to come.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue in the scene is sharp and impactful, revealing the contrasting viewpoints of the characters and building tension effectively. It conveys the complexity of the financial concepts discussed while maintaining a sense of realism.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, sharp dialogue, and power dynamics between the characters. The tension and conflict keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense as the protagonist negotiates with Goldman Sachs representatives. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions contributes to the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a financial thriller genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a financial thriller genre, with a clear setup of the protagonist's goals and the challenges he faces in achieving them.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the contrast between Michael Burry's unconventional approach and the traditional mindset of the Goldman Sachs team. This dynamic creates tension and highlights Burry's outsider status, which is crucial for character development.
  • The dialogue is sharp and captures the skepticism of the Goldman team while showcasing Burry's determination. However, some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact. For example, the exchange about the reliability of the housing market could be more succinct to maintain pacing.
  • The use of humor, particularly in the Goldman team's laughter, serves to emphasize their disbelief in Burry's strategy. However, it might be beneficial to deepen the emotional stakes by showing Burry's reaction to their laughter, which could enhance the audience's empathy for him.
  • The visual contrast between Burry's attire and that of the Goldman team is a strong choice, reinforcing the theme of outsider versus insider. However, consider adding more visual cues to emphasize Burry's discomfort or determination, such as close-ups of his expressions or body language.
  • The scene's pacing is generally good, but the transition from the initial skepticism to the agreement on the swaps could be more fluid. The dialogue feels a bit rushed at times, which may detract from the gravity of Burry's proposal.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Burry reacts to the laughter from the Goldman team, perhaps a subtle expression of frustration or determination, to deepen the emotional connection with the audience.
  • Tighten the dialogue by removing any redundant phrases, particularly in the exchanges about the reliability of the housing market, to keep the pacing brisk and engaging.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements, such as close-ups or reaction shots, to emphasize Burry's emotional state and the tension in the room.
  • Enhance the transition between skepticism and agreement by adding a brief moment of contemplation from the Goldman team before they accept Burry's proposal, which could heighten the stakes and tension.
  • Consider using a voiceover or internal monologue from Burry to provide insight into his thoughts during the meeting, which could help the audience understand his motivations and the risks he perceives.



Scene 9 - The Bet Against the Tide
20 EXT. GOLDMAN SACHS HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER 20

Michael Burry leaves the conference room. AS HE CLOSES THE
DOOR HE HEARS THE SALES REPS AND THE NUMBERS GUY LAUGHING AND
CLAPPING. He hesitates, is he hurt? But then pushes on.

MUSIC: Popular Hip Hop track like GOLD DIGGER by KANYE WEST

MICHAEL BURRY (V.O.)
Is there any way to buy 200
million?


21 INT. DEUTSCHE BANK - THE NEXT DAY 21

Michael is now across from SALES REPS from Deutsche Bank.

DEUTSCHE SALES REP
I, uh, I don’t see why not. But are
you sure?

DEUTSCHE SALES REP #2
(waves off his colleague)
Absolutely. Absolutely we can do
that.

MICHAEL BURRY
That would be great. Here are the
bonds I would like to bet against.

He pushes another bundle of papers across the table.


22 QUICK CUTS: OF BUNDLES OF HAND PICKED MICHAEL BURRY MORTGAGE
22
BONDS BEING PUSHED ACROSS TABLES AND SIGNED AT BANK OF
AMERICA, BEAR STEARNS, MORGAN STANLEY, CREDIT SUISSE ETC.


23 INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT - DAY 23

The MUSIC CUTS OUT and we see Michael Burry through the front
window eating alone at a chain restaurant. His phone buzzes.
He answers. It’s a photo of his WIFE, and his 6 year old son
Nicholas. Under it, it reads “We miss you!”


24 INT. MANHATTAN NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT 24

THE HIP HOP SONG KICKS BACK IN AS SOURCE. AN UPSCALE CLUB IS
PACKED WITH BANKERS dancing and drinking.

We focus in on the DEUTSCHE SALES REP AND COWORKERS WHO SOLD
BURRY THE SWAPS. They are clearly CELEBRATING HARD.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 18.


TRADER
Hey Randall, what’s with the Dom?
Bonuses aren’t for three months.

DEUTSCHE SALES REP
We just sold 200 million today in
credit swaps for mortgage bonds!
Some fund manager from California!
Fucking crazy right? It’s a whole
new way to make money!

TRADER
I didn’t know there were swaps on
mortgages!

DEUTSCHE SALES REP
There are now! We made one for him.
He must have gone off his zoloft!

More Dom is poured. A male and female sales rep make out. The
Trader steps over to another table and taps a guy on the
shoulder.

TRADER
Hey Jared! Did you hear about the
deal Randall did with some fund
manager?

For the first time we see the Modern Trader, JARED VENNETT,
32. He’s smart, a bit slick with a slight Jheri curl and
wears a sharp suit. HE’S OUR NARRATOR.

JARED VENNETT
Randall’s a foot soldier. It must
be a shit deal.

GRAPHIC: JARED VENNETT

TRADER
No, it’s for real.

Jared LOOKS AT CAMERA.

JARED VENNETT
I told you I’d come in later.

TRADER
Apparently this guy wanted 200 mill
in credit default swaps on mortgage
bonds! Randall made the sale. Can
you believe it?!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 19.


JARED VENNETT
Someone shorted 200 mill worth of
mortgage bonds?

TRADER
That was just with Deutsche. Word
is he hit half the town!

JARED VENNETT
How much total?
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary Michael Burry, feeling conflicted after a meeting at Goldman Sachs, pushes for a $200 million bet against mortgage bonds with Deutsche Bank. As he navigates the skepticism of sales reps, quick cuts show his mortgage bonds being signed. Alone in a fast food restaurant, he receives a heartfelt message from his family. The scene shifts to a Manhattan nightclub where Deutsche Bank reps celebrate their unexpected success, contrasting Burry's isolation with their revelry, setting the stage for future developments in the unfolding financial drama.
Strengths
  • Tension between characters
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Slightly predictable outcome

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the intensity and excitement of the financial transactions while also hinting at the potential consequences. The dialogue and actions of the characters keep the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of betting against the housing market and the financial transactions is intriguing and keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene as Michael Burry takes a bold step in shorting the mortgage bonds, setting the stage for future events.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the financial crisis and the world of banking, presenting complex characters and ethical dilemmas in a compelling and original way.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Michael Burry and the sales reps, are well-developed and their motivations are clear. The tension between them adds depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Michael Burry undergoes a significant change in this scene as he takes a bold step in shorting the mortgage bonds, showcasing his risk-taking nature.

Internal Goal: 8

Michael Burry's internal goal is to make a successful bet against mortgage bonds, showcasing his financial acumen and willingness to take risks.

External Goal: 9

Michael Burry's external goal is to secure credit default swaps on mortgage bonds, demonstrating his strategic thinking and ability to navigate the financial industry.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, primarily between Michael Burry and the sales reps as they discuss the risky financial transactions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting interests and ethical dilemmas that challenge the characters' beliefs and motivations, creating suspense and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as Michael Burry makes a risky bet against the housing market, potentially impacting his reputation and financial future.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly by introducing a key plot point and setting up future events related to the financial crisis.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and decisions, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethics of profiting from the financial crisis and the morality of shorting mortgage bonds. This challenges Michael Burry's beliefs about the financial system and his role within it.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, including determination, celebration, and concern, keeping the audience emotionally engaged.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp and engaging, reflecting the characters' personalities and the high-stakes nature of the financial dealings.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, dynamic characters, and high-stakes conflict, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and momentum, with quick cuts between locations and dynamic dialogue that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and a focus on character interactions and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the contrast between Michael Burry's serious demeanor and the celebratory atmosphere of the bankers, highlighting the disconnect between Burry's understanding of the impending crisis and the carefree attitude of the financial world. However, the transition from Burry's serious business dealings to the party atmosphere at the nightclub could be smoother to maintain narrative flow.
  • The use of music, particularly the hip hop track, adds energy to the scene but may also detract from the gravity of Burry's situation. While it emphasizes the celebratory mood of the bankers, it risks undermining the tension surrounding Burry's actions and the looming financial disaster.
  • The dialogue among the Deutsche Bank sales reps is lively and captures the excitement of the deal, but it could benefit from more specificity regarding the implications of the credit default swaps. This would help the audience understand why this moment is significant beyond just the excitement of a big sale.
  • Jared Vennett's introduction as a narrator is intriguing, but it feels somewhat abrupt. A more gradual reveal of his character could enhance the audience's connection to him and provide context for his perspective on the events unfolding.
  • The emotional tone shifts rapidly from Burry's isolation to the exuberance of the bankers, which could confuse the audience. A clearer delineation of these emotional beats would help maintain engagement and clarity in the storytelling.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Burry as he leaves the Goldman Sachs conference room, allowing the audience to feel his internal conflict before transitioning to the Deutsche Bank scene. This could enhance the emotional weight of his character.
  • To improve the transition to the nightclub scene, consider using a visual motif or a sound bridge that connects Burry's serious actions to the celebratory atmosphere, reinforcing the contrast without feeling disjointed.
  • Incorporate a line or two in the Deutsche Bank scene that explicitly states the risks or implications of the credit default swaps Burry is pursuing. This would provide clarity for the audience and deepen the stakes of the transaction.
  • When introducing Jared Vennett, consider providing a brief visual cue or context that hints at his role in the story before he speaks. This could help the audience understand his significance and build anticipation for his character.
  • Maintain a consistent emotional tone throughout the scene by balancing the celebratory elements with reminders of the serious consequences of the financial decisions being made. This could be achieved through Burry's reactions or through contrasting visuals.



Scene 10 - Risky Bets
25 INT. MICHAEL BURRY’S FUND OFFICE - DAY 25

Michael Burry is on the phone with Lawrence Fields.

MICHAEL BURRY
1.3 billion.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
What?! That’s pretty much all of
Scion’s liquidity! Michael this is
highly distressing.


26 INT. ACADEMY GALLERIA - FLORENCE 26

Lawrence Fields is in Florence with the David behind him. He
steps away to continue the conversation.

MICHAEL BURRY
It’s not all of our liquidity
Lawrence. I’m not certain you
understand this trade. This is a
certainty.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
Michael, I consider myself a mentor
to you. But our company is not
comfortable with this investment.
Am I being clear?

MICHAEL BURRY
I have full autonomy when it comes
to investment strategy. You can
read our agreement-

LAWRENCE FIELDS
Don’t throw our inception agreement
in my face Michael. There was an
underlying understanding that you
wouldn’t act like a goddamn crazy
man!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 20.


MICHAEL BURRY
This isn’t crazy. It’s all very
logical.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
So now we pay out premiums on these
swaps against the housing market
until the mortgages fail? In other
words we lose millions until
something that’s never happened
before happens?

MICHAEL BURRY
That’s correct.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
And you have no doubts. You’re not
nervous at all?

MICHAEL BURRY
I have no doubts. But yes, I’m
nervous. It’s a very large position
for me to take.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
And will you please tell me what
the difference between doubt and
nervousness is?

Half beat.

MICHAEL BURRY
That is a very good question. And
I’m sorry but I’ll have to get back
to you on that. Have a nice
vacation Lawrence.

He hangs up. His computer and phone are dinging.

QUICK CUTS OF EMAILS FROM MICHAEL BURRY’S INVESTORS:

1. “Have you lost your mind? I’m seriously worried about
you.”

2. “What the hell is a credit default swap???”

3. “I am not comfortable trying to guess what the peak of a
70 year housing spike is!”

4. “So you’re telling me that rather than receiving profits
on stocks I will now be paying premiums on these credit
default swaps you bought? How is this in anyway good news?”

And finally we push in on one last ominous email:
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 21.


“A LOT OF PEOPLE IN NEW YORK ARE TALKING ABOUT WITHDRAWING
THEIR MONEY FROM YOUR FUND.”

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In a tense phone call, Michael Burry discusses his bold $1.3 billion investment in credit default swaps against the housing market with mentor Lawrence Fields, who expresses deep concern over the unprecedented risk. Despite acknowledging his own nervousness, Michael remains resolute in his strategy, leading to a confrontation between the two. The scene culminates with Michael hanging up and receiving a flurry of alarming emails from anxious investors, highlighting the growing doubts surrounding his decisions.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Compelling dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion due to complex financial concepts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and sets up a crucial turning point in the plot, with strong character dynamics and high emotional stakes.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on a bold investment decision and the resulting conflict, is engaging and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the story, introducing a major conflict that will have significant repercussions for the characters and the overall narrative.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to depicting the financial industry through the character dynamics and dialogue. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Michael Burry and Lawrence Fields are well-developed and their conflicting personalities add depth to the scene. Their interactions reveal key aspects of their motivations and values.

Character Changes: 8

Both Michael Burry and Lawrence Fields undergo subtle changes in their attitudes and beliefs during the scene, setting the stage for further character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Michael Burry's internal goal is to assert his autonomy and confidence in his investment strategy, despite facing doubts and criticism from Lawrence Fields and his investors. This reflects his need for validation and success in his risky financial decisions.

External Goal: 7.5

Michael Burry's external goal is to convince Lawrence Fields and his investors of the logic and potential success of his investment strategy involving credit default swaps. This reflects the immediate challenge of gaining support and trust for his unconventional approach.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Burry and Fields is intense and drives the scene, creating a sense of urgency and high stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Lawrence Fields challenging Michael Burry's investment strategy and the investors expressing doubts and concerns, creating obstacles for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are extremely high in the scene, as Michael Burry risks a substantial amount of his fund's liquidity on a bold investment strategy that goes against conventional wisdom.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly advances the plot by introducing a major conflict and decision point that will shape the future events of the story.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the conflicting viewpoints and uncertain outcome of Michael Burry's investment strategy, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between risk-taking and caution in investment decisions. Michael Burry represents the belief in calculated risks and innovation, while Lawrence Fields embodies the conservative approach and fear of potential losses.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly anxiety and defiance, as the characters face a critical decision with significant consequences.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and power dynamics between the characters, enhancing the conflict and emotional impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, conflict, and character dynamics that keep the audience invested in the outcome of the investment decision.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and urgency, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' dialogue and decisions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay in the financial genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-driven financial drama, effectively building tension and conflict through the characters' interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Michael Burry and Lawrence Fields, showcasing their differing perspectives on the investment strategy. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the emotional stakes. For instance, Lawrence's concern could be deepened by hinting at his own fears about the market, rather than just focusing on Burry's actions.
  • The setting transitions from Burry's office to Lawrence's location in Florence, which is visually interesting but could be better integrated into the dialogue. The contrast between Burry's intense focus and Fields's more relaxed environment could be emphasized to highlight their differing approaches to risk and investment.
  • The use of quick cuts to emails from investors is a strong narrative device that effectively conveys the mounting pressure Burry faces. However, the emails could be more varied in tone to reflect different personalities and levels of concern among the investors, which would add depth to the stakes.
  • Burry's response to Fields's question about the difference between doubt and nervousness feels somewhat contrived. This moment could be more impactful if it revealed something deeper about Burry's character, perhaps reflecting his struggle with the weight of his decisions or his isolation in the face of skepticism.
  • The scene ends on a strong note with the ominous email about potential withdrawals, but it could benefit from a more gradual build-up to this climax. Adding a moment of hesitation or reflection from Burry before he receives the emails could heighten the tension and make the stakes feel more personal.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue to reveal the characters' underlying fears and motivations, particularly Lawrence's concerns about the market and Burry's isolation in his conviction.
  • Enhance the visual contrast between Burry's intense environment and Fields's relaxed setting to emphasize their differing approaches to risk and investment.
  • Vary the tone of the investor emails to reflect different personalities and levels of concern, adding depth to the stakes and showcasing the impact of Burry's decisions on his investors.
  • Rework Burry's response about doubt and nervousness to reveal more about his character, perhaps by showing a moment of vulnerability or introspection that highlights the weight of his decisions.
  • Build up to the ominous email about potential withdrawals with a moment of hesitation or reflection from Burry, increasing the tension and making the stakes feel more personal.



Scene 11 - Disruption in Therapy
27 EXT. SUNNY ROOFTOP - DAY 27

CU of a cell phone on the ground. We hear a voice.

VOICE (V.O.)
Paul? Are you there Paul? Paul!

We FLASH out.


28 INT. GROUP THERAPY SESSION - MANHATTAN - DAY 28

A group of 7 PROFESSIONALS in suits sits in a circle with A
THERAPIST leading the group session.

Businessman
... I’m a nice guy all day long.
Ask anyone. I’m a pleasure to work
with. But the second my son screws
up I’m yelling at him just like my
Dad did to me-

MARK BAUM, 40, moppish hair, rumpled suit, will always say
what he thinks, busts into the room.

MARK BAUM
I’m so sorry I’m late! No cabs!

He sits down and starts right away.

MARK BAUM (CONT’D)
So, yeah. I met with this retail
banker yesterday and I’m supposed
to be getting him to invest in our
fund but instead I start grilling
him about over draught penalties
and how his bank lets a customer
write ten, twelve checks before
they tell em they’re overdrawn. And
this creep is making billions off
of screwing over people this way-

THERAPIST
Mark-
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 22.


MARK BAUM
And I’m getting madder and madder
and I ask this guy how he sleeps at
night knowing he’s ripping off
working people and he just leaves.
He doesn’t say a word. He just
walks away from the lunch. So am I
fucked up or is he?

Beat as the room catches up.

THERAPIST
Mark, we’ve talked about this
numerous times. You can’t come in
late and hijack the entire session.

MARK BAUM
I didn’t hijack the session.
(to another businessman)
Did I hijack the session.

BUSINESSMAN #2
Yes.

MARK BAUM
What’d you do?

BUSINESSMAN #2
I’m in commodities.

MARK BAUM
Of course you are.

THERAPIST
Mark, I know you suffered a
terrible loss... Maybe we can talk
about that...?

MARK BAUM
I don’t talk about that. Hold on!

Mark’s phone is buzzing.

MARK BAUM (CONT’D)
Oh shit. I have to take this. So
sorry.

He answers and walks out.

MARK BAUM (CONT’D)
(onto phone)
I don’t care Porter. The guy’s
whole business is built on ripping
people off. How long can that last?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 23.


He leaves. The group is left stunned.

GRAPHIC: MARK BAUM
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a Manhattan group therapy session, Mark Baum arrives late and derails the discussion with a passionate rant about unethical banking practices, ignoring the therapist's attempts to redirect him to his personal issues. His outburst interrupts a businessman sharing his parenting struggles, leading to tension among the group. Ultimately, Mark abruptly leaves after answering a phone call, leaving the other participants stunned and the session unresolved.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Confrontational dialogue
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the emotional turmoil and ethical complexities faced by the character, creating a tense and thought-provoking atmosphere. The dialogue is sharp and confrontational, adding depth to the character's internal struggles.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring personal struggles and ethical dilemmas within a professional setting is compelling and adds depth to the character. The scene effectively conveys the internal conflict faced by the protagonist.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on character development and internal conflict, moving the story forward by delving into the protagonist's moral dilemma. The scene adds depth to the overall narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the financial world, exploring the moral dilemmas faced by professionals in a corporate setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with the protagonist's internal struggles and ethical dilemmas driving the scene. The confrontational dialogue adds layers to the characters, showcasing their complexities.

Character Changes: 8

The protagonist undergoes a significant emotional change in the scene, grappling with his moral dilemma and ethical struggles. The internal conflict and confrontational dialogue contribute to the character's development and growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark Baum's internal goal is to confront his own anger and moral compass, as he grapples with the ethical implications of his actions and the behavior of others.

External Goal: 7

Mark Baum's external goal is to secure an investment for his fund, but he gets sidetracked by his moral outrage and confronts a retail banker instead.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on the protagonist's moral dilemma and ethical struggles. The confrontational dialogue adds tension and intensity to the conflict, driving the emotional impact of the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Mark's confrontational behavior challenges the other characters' beliefs and values, creating conflict and tension.

High Stakes: 8

The scene has high stakes, as the protagonist grapples with ethical dilemmas and moral questioning in a high-stakes financial world. The confrontational tone and emotional dialogue heighten the tension and intensity of the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by delving into the protagonist's moral dilemma and ethical struggles, adding depth to the narrative. The internal conflict and confrontational dialogue drive the plot progression, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected confrontation between Mark and the retail banker, as well as the moral ambiguity of the characters' actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Mark's sense of justice and the cutthroat business practices he encounters. It challenges his beliefs about right and wrong in the financial world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, delving into the protagonist's internal struggles and ethical dilemmas. The confrontational tone and emotional dialogue evoke strong feelings of anger, sadness, and defiance, resonating with the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the internal conflict and moral questioning of the protagonist. The dialogue adds depth to the characters and drives the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional conflict between the characters, the sharp dialogue, and the moral dilemmas that drive the narrative forward.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with well-timed dialogue and character interactions that keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene is well-formatted and easy to follow, with clear transitions between locations and characters. The dialogue is properly formatted and enhances the pacing of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for a dialogue-driven sequence, with clear character motivations and conflicts driving the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Mark Baum's intense personality and his moral outrage against unethical banking practices, which aligns well with the overall theme of the screenplay. However, the abrupt transition from the previous scene to the therapy session feels jarring. The audience may benefit from a smoother segue that connects the emotional weight of the previous scene with the therapy context.
  • Mark's entrance and immediate shift to his rant about the banker is engaging, but it risks overshadowing the other characters in the therapy group. This could lead to a lack of depth for the supporting characters, making them feel more like props than participants in the scene. It would be beneficial to give at least one or two of them a moment to react or contribute to the discussion, enhancing the group dynamic.
  • The therapist's attempts to redirect Mark's focus are commendable, but they could be more assertive. This would highlight the tension between Mark's impulsive behavior and the structured environment of the therapy session. Additionally, the therapist's dialogue could be more nuanced to reflect their frustration and professionalism in dealing with Mark's outbursts.
  • The dialogue is sharp and reflects the characters' personalities well, but it could benefit from more subtext. For instance, Mark's anger could be contrasted with a moment of vulnerability that hints at his personal struggles, making him a more complex character. This would deepen the audience's understanding of his motivations and emotional state.
  • The scene ends abruptly with Mark leaving the session, which is impactful but could be enhanced by a stronger emotional beat. Perhaps a lingering shot on the stunned group could emphasize the effect of Mark's outburst, leaving the audience with a sense of the chaos he brings into the room.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or a reaction shot from the other group members after Mark's outburst to emphasize the impact of his words and actions.
  • Introduce a line or two from the therapist that acknowledges Mark's pain or loss, which could provide a deeper emotional layer to the scene and create a more compelling conflict.
  • Incorporate a moment where another group member challenges Mark's perspective, which could create a more dynamic interaction and showcase the differing views within the group.
  • Explore the possibility of Mark briefly acknowledging his personal loss before diving into his critique of the banker, which would add depth to his character and provide context for his anger.
  • Consider revising the ending to include a moment of silence or a poignant line from the therapist or another group member that encapsulates the tension in the room after Mark leaves.



Scene 12 - A Walk Through Doubt
29 EXT. MANHATTAN STREETS - LATER 29

We see GIANT BILLBOARDS: for Movado watches, Mercedes SUVs,
Designer jeans (with a topless woman with her back to us).
We’re on the streets of Manhattan and Mark’s walking while
talking on his phone.

MUSIC: Pop song like HIPS DON’T LIE by SHAKIRA plays on
monitors in the window of an electronics store.

January 2006

2 years 7 months until the collapse

MARK BAUM
I don’t want that kind of
business... I’m sorry. Money’s not
money... That’s bad money. Other
than Goldman what company lasts
ripping people off like that?

JARED VENNETT(V.O.)
Mark Baum had built a career on
never assuming anyone or any
company was legit without proving
it. When he was a kid he excelled
at studying the Talmud in Yeshiva.
That was great. But one day the
Rabbi told his Mom why-


A30 INT. YASHIVA SCHOOL - DAY A30

10 YEAR OLD Mark Baum and his 8 YEAR OLD BROTHER PAUL run
around with kids in the hallway of a Yashiva while his MOM,
35, talks to the RABBI, 52.

RABBI
Paul is a fine boy. But his brother
Mark... He is the best student of
the Torah and the Talmud...

MOM
Then what’s the problem Rabbi?

RABBI
It’s the reason.. He says he
studies so hard because...
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 23A.

RABBI (CONT'D)
he is looking for inconsistencies
in the word of God.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 24.


Beat.

MOM
So has he found any?

BACK TO MANHATTAN STREET

JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
Later Baum started his own fund on
Wall Street. He had an amazing nose
for bullshit and wasn’t afraid to
let everyone know when and where
the bull had gone number 2. But
then a tragedy happened to Mark
that turned his world view dark and
ready to believe the whole system
was a lie.

MARK BAUM
(sees he’s got another
call)
I gotta go, it’s Cynthia. I’ll be
in the office in twenty minutes.

INTERCUT:


30 INT. APARTMENT LIBRARY - PARK AVENUE - NEW YORK - DAY 30

Mark’s wife, CYNTHIA (35). Their TWIN DAUGHTERS (10) are on
the floor on matching laptops while their SON (7) runs
around.

CYNTHIA
Your therapist called me. You did
it again.

MARK
There were no cabs. What was I
supposed to do? At least I went.

CYNTHIA
I worry about you Mark. You run
around like you’ve got to right
every wrong in the world.
Everyone’s a creep or a crook.

MARK BAUM
Fine. I’m a rude guy. And I’m
pissed off. But it’s a shit storm
out here sweetie.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 24A.

MARK BAUM (CONT'D)
You have no idea the crap people
are pulling and the average person
just walks around like they’re in a
goddamn Enya video.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 25.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the bustling streets of Manhattan, Mark Baum grapples with his disdain for unethical business practices during a phone call. A flashback to his childhood at a Yeshiva reveals his critical nature, as a Rabbi praises his intellect but worries about his skepticism. Back in the present, Mark's wife, Cynthia, expresses concern over his obsessive worldview, leading to a tense exchange where Mark defends his negative outlook. The scene highlights the strain in their relationship as Mark remains steadfast in his beliefs, set against the vibrant yet chaotic backdrop of the city.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Compelling themes
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Heavy dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively portrays the internal conflict and emotional depth of the main character, setting a dark and intense tone that keeps the audience engaged. The dialogue is sharp and critical, reflecting the character's frustration and disillusionment.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the moral dilemmas and personal struggles of a character in the financial world is compelling and adds depth to the narrative. It sets the stage for exploring larger themes of corruption and integrity.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on character development and internal conflict, moving the story forward by revealing the inner turmoil of the protagonist. It sets up important themes and conflicts that will drive the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the financial world through Mark's moral dilemma and personal struggles. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, especially Mark Baum, whose internal struggles and moral dilemmas are central to the scene. The dialogue and interactions between characters reveal their depth and complexity.

Character Changes: 8

Mark Baum undergoes significant internal changes in the scene, grappling with his beliefs and values in the face of corruption. His character arc is set up for further development, making him a compelling and dynamic protagonist.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark Baum's internal goal is to maintain his moral integrity and not engage in unethical business practices. This reflects his deeper need for honesty and justice.

External Goal: 7

Mark's external goal is to handle his personal and professional responsibilities, as seen through his interactions with his wife and children.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on the moral dilemmas and personal struggles of the characters. It sets up larger conflicts related to corruption and integrity that will drive the story forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and emotional stakes that create tension and drive the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters face moral dilemmas and personal struggles that will have significant consequences for their lives and the larger narrative. The decisions made in this scene will impact the direction of the story.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing important aspects of the characters' internal struggles and setting up key conflicts and themes. It establishes the tone and direction of the narrative, driving the plot forward.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in terms of Mark's internal struggles and the tension between characters, keeping the audience engaged and curious about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Mark's belief in exposing dishonesty and corruption in the financial system and his wife's concern for his well-being and mental health. This challenges Mark's worldview and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, as it delves into the personal struggles and moral dilemmas of the characters. The intense and dark tone evokes strong emotions in the audience, drawing them into the story.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, critical, and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the inner turmoil of the characters. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the overall tone and themes.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the emotional depth of the characters, the sharp dialogue, and the conflict that drives the narrative forward.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-paced dialogue and character interactions that drive the narrative forward effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively juxtaposes Mark Baum's intense personality with the contrasting calmness of his family life, highlighting the internal conflict he faces. However, the transition between the bustling Manhattan streets and the intimate family setting could be smoother to enhance the emotional impact.
  • The use of voiceover from Jared Vennett provides valuable context about Mark's character and his past, but it risks overshadowing the dialogue. The balance between voiceover and on-screen dialogue should be carefully managed to maintain engagement without losing the audience's connection to the characters.
  • The dialogue is sharp and reflects Mark's frustration with the financial system, but it could benefit from more subtext. While Mark's anger is clear, exploring his vulnerabilities or fears could add depth to his character and make him more relatable.
  • The flashback to Mark's childhood in the Yeshiva is a strong narrative choice, but it feels slightly disconnected from the present-day scene. Integrating more visual or thematic elements that link the two timelines could enhance the cohesion of the scene.
  • Cynthia's character is introduced as a concerned spouse, but her dialogue could be more impactful. Providing her with a stronger emotional response or a specific example of Mark's behavior could deepen the audience's understanding of their relationship dynamics.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a visual motif that connects the bustling streets of Manhattan with the domestic setting, such as a recurring image or sound that transitions between the two environments.
  • Refine the voiceover to ensure it complements rather than competes with the dialogue. Perhaps use it to punctuate key moments rather than narrate them, allowing the audience to draw connections themselves.
  • Incorporate moments of vulnerability in Mark's dialogue to balance his anger with a sense of personal stakes, making him a more rounded character.
  • Enhance the transition between the flashback and the present by using a visual cue, such as a similar action or expression from adult Mark that mirrors his childhood behavior, reinforcing the theme of his ongoing struggle.
  • Give Cynthia a more defined role in the conversation by having her share a specific incident that illustrates her concerns about Mark's behavior, making her worries feel more grounded and relatable.



Scene 13 - Fractured Reflections
31 EXT. MANHATTAN STREETS - CONTINUOUS 31

MUSIC: Dreamy new-age song like ENYA’S ONLY TIME

We see SLO MO people walking down the street. Some laughing.
Some stressed about work. Some eating hot dogs.

MARK BAUM
They’re all getting screwed...
Credit cards, pay day lenders, car
financing, fees, fees, and more
fees. And what do they care about?
The ball game or which actress went
into rehab?

MUSIC: OUT

CYNTHIA
I think you should try medication.

MARK
Nooo. We agreed. If it interfered
with work.

CYNTHIA
You hate Wall Street. Maybe it's
time to quit.

Mark is now trying to hail a cab.

MARK
I love my job.

CYNTHIA
You hate your job.

MARK
I love my job!

CYNTHIA
You're miserable!
(gets quieter)
Mark. I feel sad about what
happened every day. I know you
must feel the same... But you never
show it.


32 QUICK FLASH TO THE CELL PHONE ON THE GROUND. 32

MARK (V.O.)
Paul? Are you there Paul? Paul!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 25A.


WE PULL UP AND SEE A MAN IN A SUIT WALK TOWARDS THE EDGE OF
THE BUILDING... AND STEP OFF.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 26.


WE CUT BACK TO MARK just as the man falls fully out of frame.


33 INT. APARTMENT LIBRARY - PARK AVENUE 33

There is silence for a beat before Cynthia speaks.

CYNTHIA
I know how close you were to your
brother... I keep hoping you’ll
talk about it. But you never do.
And now you’re so distrustful of
everything and everyone. You didn’t
used to be this way...


34 EXT. MANHATTAN STREETS 34

Mark is quiet. He’s still unconsciously holding his arm up
for a cab.

MARK
Please don’t. I really can’t do
this now Cynthia.

A cab stops.

CYNTHIA
We should talk. Can you just think
about the idea of making a change?

MARK
I’ll think about anything. I’ll
think about shaving my head and
joining a monastery but I can tell
you the answer is no.

CYNTHIA
Consider it. Please. I’m not
talking about joining a monastery.
We could just get off the treadmill
and move to Vermont and open a B&B.
It could be that easy.

MARK
Fine, I’ll consider it. But
honestly, I’m okay Cynthia. I
really am.
(sees a guy try and take
his cab)
No! That’s my cab!! Back off
asshole!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 27.


He grabs the guy and yanks him out of the cab.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the bustling streets of Manhattan, Mark Baum grapples with his disdain for the financial system and his own emotional turmoil. Despite Cynthia's concern for his well-being and her suggestions for a simpler life, Mark defensively insists he loves his job. A flashback hints at his troubled past, while their conversation reveals a deep emotional struggle. As Mark's frustration boils over, he confronts another man for a cab, symbolizing his internal conflict and desperation.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Reflective dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Slow pacing

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight and internal conflict of the protagonist, Mark Baum, through poignant dialogue and reflective moments. The intense tone and emotional depth make it a compelling and impactful scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the inner turmoil and personal struggles of the protagonist in a dramatic setting is well-executed. The scene effectively conveys the emotional depth and complexity of the character's journey.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on character development and emotional exploration, moving the story forward by delving into Mark Baum's internal struggles and the potential for change in his life.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the theme of grief and emotional repression in a fast-paced urban setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, especially Mark Baum and Cynthia, are well-developed and portrayed with depth and authenticity. Their emotional arcs and interactions drive the scene and engage the audience.

Character Changes: 8

Mark Baum undergoes significant emotional turmoil and introspection in the scene, grappling with his past traumas and the need for change in his life. His character arc is compelling and sets the stage for potential growth and transformation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his facade of loving his job and avoiding confronting his grief over his brother's death. This reflects his deeper need for stability and control in the face of emotional turmoil.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to hail a cab and continue with his daily routine. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the city and his work responsibilities.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Mark Baum's emotional struggles and the tension between his personal grief and professional dissatisfaction. The conflict drives the character development and narrative progression.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the protagonist's internal struggles and conflicts with the people around him, adding complexity and depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are primarily emotional and personal, focusing on Mark Baum's internal struggles and the potential for change in his life. The decisions he faces have significant implications for his character development and future actions.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the character development and setting up potential plot developments related to Mark Baum's personal journey and the dynamics of his relationships. It lays the groundwork for future narrative progression.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional outbursts and shifts in the characters' motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's outward appearance of contentment and his internal struggle with grief and dissatisfaction. This challenges his values of work ethic and emotional honesty.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting feelings of sadness, frustration, and empathy for the characters. The poignant moments and reflective dialogue resonate with the audience and create a strong emotional connection.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is emotionally charged and reflective, capturing the inner thoughts and conflicts of the characters. It effectively conveys the sentiments and tensions present in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional conflict between the characters and the relatable themes of grief and personal struggle.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard screenplay formatting conventions, making it easy to read and visualize the action.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for character-driven drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and dialogue flow smoothly.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Mark's internal conflict and frustration with the financial system, but it could benefit from more visual storytelling to enhance the emotional weight. The contrast between the dreamy music and Mark's harsh critique of society creates an interesting juxtaposition, yet the visuals of people walking in slow motion could be more impactful if they included specific interactions or expressions that reflect the themes of exploitation and distraction.
  • Cynthia's dialogue serves as a grounding force in the scene, but her character could be developed further. While she expresses concern for Mark, her suggestions feel somewhat generic. Adding more personal stakes or specific examples of how Mark's behavior affects their relationship could deepen the emotional resonance of their conversation.
  • The abrupt transition to the flashback of the man stepping off the building is jarring and could be better integrated into the flow of the scene. It feels disconnected from the preceding dialogue and could benefit from a smoother lead-in or a more explicit connection to Mark's emotional state. This moment is powerful, but it risks losing its impact due to the lack of buildup.
  • Mark's insistence that he loves his job, despite clear evidence to the contrary, is a compelling character trait. However, this could be emphasized further through his body language and facial expressions. Showing more of his internal struggle visually would enhance the audience's understanding of his denial and the tension in his relationship with Cynthia.
  • The dialogue is sharp and reflects the characters' personalities well, but it could be tightened in places. For instance, some of Mark's lines could be more succinct to maintain the scene's pacing and keep the audience engaged. Additionally, the repetition of 'I love my job' could be varied to reflect his growing frustration.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more visual elements that reflect the themes of the scene, such as close-ups of people's faces to show their emotions or reactions to Mark's commentary, enhancing the contrast between his perspective and the reality around him.
  • Develop Cynthia's character further by providing specific examples of how Mark's behavior impacts their relationship. This could involve her recalling a specific incident or expressing a deeper emotional connection to their shared history.
  • Consider reworking the transition to the flashback of the man stepping off the building. Perhaps use a visual cue or a line of dialogue that foreshadows this moment, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Enhance Mark's internal conflict through visual storytelling. Use his body language and facial expressions to convey his denial and frustration more effectively, allowing the audience to connect with his emotional state.
  • Tighten the dialogue to improve pacing and engagement. Focus on making Mark's lines more impactful by reducing repetition and ensuring each line serves to advance the character's emotional journey.



Scene 14 - A Curious Call
35 EXT. MORGAN STANLEY BUILDING - LATER 35

Everyone walking in and out of the Morgan Stanley building is
on their Blackberries. Mark gets out of his cab while
finishing a conversation with his cab driver.

MARK
And remember, get out of that
mutual fund you’re in. They’re
going to rape you with fees!

He walks into the building and passes a Morgan Stanley higher
up KATHY TAO.

KATHY TAO
Hello Mark Baum!

MARK
Hey Kathy. You busted me. I had an
afternoon personal thing.

KATHY TAO
I’m not your baby sitter. If
FrontPoint makes Morgan Stanley
money I’m happy!

MARK
Hey did I hear you’re expecting?

KATHY TAO
We’re expecting to be expecting!
The IVFs are cleaning us out but
we’re staying positive!


36 INT. FRONTPOINT OFFICE - MORGAN STANLEY NEW YORK - LATER 36

Small. Provisional. A tiny SUPPORT STAFF. There are four
desks with Mark’s team working at each.

Mark enters, pushing open the door that reads “FrontPoint
Partners.”

MARK
Hey! Cynthia wants me to quit and
open a B&B in Vermont!

VINNY DANIEL, a Queens city school graduate in a Macy’s suit
turns from his desk.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 28.


VINNY DANIEL
I’d love to see Mark Baum run a
B&B. “Here’s your steel cut oatmeal
asshole!”

JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
Because he didn’t kiss the ring of
the people with the check books
Mark Baum had to set up his fund
under Morgan Stanley’s umbrella.
His small team reflected Mark’s
distrust of the system.

MARK
Yeah. She says this job is making
me unhappy.

VINNY DANIEL
But you’re happy when you’re
unhappy.

JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
Vinny Daniel: Mark’s numbers guy.
Vinny lost his Father to violent
crime when he was young. Just like
Mark he didn’t talk about it.

VINNY DANIEL
(to camera)
I don’t talk about it.

An athletic Wasp, PORTER COLLINS, 31. who wears a suit jacket
and polo shirt, covers his blue tooth to chime in.

PORTER COLLINS
Cynthia doesn’t mess around. She
got me to stop eating gluten. You
want me to check the residential
real estate market in Vermont!?

JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
Porter Collins: former Olympic
rower who went to Brown. He had
worked with Baum at a previous firm
and couldn’t figure out why no one
listened to Baum, the guy with all
the good ideas.

MARK
There’s no way I’m moving to
Vermont. Westchester maybe, but not
Vermont...
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 29.


DANNY MOSES (31) Southern but moving fast towards New Yorker,
a self-effacing analyst type, though he's actually their
trader. HE’S FINISHING A PHONE CALL.

DANNY MOSES
... wait a minute. I think you have
the wrong FrontPoint. There’s
another FrontPoint in this same
building that is bonds.

JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
And Danny Moses: the optimist of
the bunch. And a hell of a trader,
which is why they tolerated the
optimism.

DANNY
Okay... No problem.

He hangs up.

DANNY (CONT’D)
That was a weird call.

PORTER
Why? Did the person actually enjoy
talking to you?

DANNY
It was this guy from Deutsche who
was talking about shorting housing
bonds. In the middle of the call I
realize he’s got the wrong
FrontPoint. He wanted the one of
the eighth floor.

VINNY
He wanted to short housing bonds?
Who bets against housing?
(due diligence)
What’s the ABX at?

PORTER
What’s the ABX?

VINNY
It tracks sub-prime mortgage bond
value.

Danny checks his computer.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 30.


DANNY
It’s down... Wow. That’s weird.
It’s down three points since last
year. I haven’t heard a peep about
that.

MARK
What was this guy’s name again?

DANNY
Jared Vennett. From Deutsche. He
sounded pretty sketchy.

One of the ASSISTANTS (the real DANNY MOSES) LOOKS UP TO
CAMERA.

ASSISTANT
This actually happened. I’m the
real Danny Moses. A wrong number
led us to one of the biggest leads
in investment history. I still work
in New York and I wasn’t that much
of an optimist.

MARK BAUM
Call him back. Tell him we want to
hear his presentation..

VINNY
You wanna take advice from a trader
we don't know -- about a market we
don't understand -- cause the idiot
dialed a wrong number?

MARK BAUM
Yeah. Why not?

DANNY
If he'd even show up, it'd be to
screw us.

MARK BAUM
Probably.

VINNY
Definitely.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Mark Baum arrives at the Morgan Stanley building and engages in light banter with his team at FrontPoint. After a strange phone call from trader Jared Vennett about shorting housing bonds piques their interest, Mark decides to pursue the lead despite his team's skepticism. The scene blends humor with intrigue as they navigate the corporate culture and potential investment opportunities.
Strengths
  • Witty dialogue
  • Engaging character interactions
  • Unique concept
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Lack of character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, skepticism, and critical analysis of the financial system, keeping the audience engaged and entertained.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a mistaken phone call leading to a major investment opportunity is unique and intriguing, adding depth to the plot and character development.

Plot: 8

The plot is driven by the characters' reactions to the investment opportunity, their personal dynamics, and the conflict between skepticism and potential gain.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the financial world, with unique character dynamics and dialogue that feel authentic and engaging. The characters' actions and decisions are original and unpredictable, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, each bringing a unique perspective to the scene and contributing to the overall humor and tension.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the dynamics between the characters evolve as they navigate the investment opportunity.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to find happiness and fulfillment in his work, as indicated by his conversation with Kathy Tao about his job making him unhappy.

External Goal: 7

Mark's external goal is to navigate the challenges and decisions in his job, such as Cynthia wanting him to quit and open a B&B in Vermont.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict between skepticism and potential gain drives the scene, adding tension and humor to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and decisions among the characters that create tension and uncertainty in the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of the investment opportunity and the characters' conflicting views add tension and excitement to the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a key investment opportunity and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' decisions and the introduction of new conflicts and challenges that keep the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the characters' attitudes towards risk-taking and unconventional decisions in the financial world. Mark's willingness to consider advice from a stranger challenges traditional notions of trust and expertise in the industry.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene focuses more on humor and critical analysis than emotional depth, but still engages the audience with its witty dialogue and character dynamics.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, sharp, and realistic, capturing the essence of the characters and driving the scene forward with humor and depth.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, dynamic character interactions, and intriguing plot developments that keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension, reveals information gradually, and maintains a balance between dialogue and action to keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character dialogue, and transitions between locations.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively introduces characters, establishes conflicts, and advances the plot in a coherent manner.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the dynamic between Mark Baum and his colleagues, showcasing their personalities and relationships through witty banter. However, the dialogue can feel a bit too expository at times, especially with the voiceovers that explain character backgrounds. This can detract from the immediacy of the scene and make it feel less organic.
  • The humor in the dialogue is a strong point, particularly the interactions about Mark's potential career change to running a B&B. However, the humor sometimes overshadows the underlying tension regarding the financial crisis, which could be better integrated into the dialogue to maintain a balance between levity and seriousness.
  • The transition from the exterior of the Morgan Stanley building to the interior of the FrontPoint office is smooth, but the scene could benefit from more visual details that emphasize the contrast between the bustling financial world outside and the more intimate, chaotic environment inside the office. This would enhance the viewer's understanding of the stakes involved.
  • The introduction of the wrong number call from Deutsche Bank is a clever plot device, but it feels somewhat contrived. The characters' reactions could be more nuanced to reflect their skepticism and curiosity, rather than jumping straight to the decision to call back. This would create a more believable progression of events.
  • The scene ends on a note of intrigue with the decision to pursue the lead from the wrong number, but it could be strengthened by a more explicit emotional reaction from Mark and his team. This would help to convey the gravity of the situation and the potential implications of their decision.
Suggestions
  • Consider reducing the amount of voiceover exposition and instead show character backgrounds through actions and dialogue. This will create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Integrate the theme of the financial crisis more directly into the dialogue, perhaps by having characters express their concerns or doubts about the market while maintaining their humor.
  • Add more visual elements that contrast the exterior and interior settings, such as the hustle and bustle of the street versus the cramped, tense atmosphere of the office, to enhance the scene's impact.
  • Develop the characters' reactions to the wrong number call with more depth, allowing for a mix of skepticism and intrigue before they decide to pursue the lead.
  • End the scene with a stronger emotional beat, perhaps by showing Mark's internal conflict or excitement about the potential opportunity, to better set up the stakes for the next scene.



Scene 15 - The Jenga Revelation
37 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - THE NEXT DAY 37

Jared Vennett, his Chinese Quantitative Analyst, TED JIANG
and a Deutsche YOUNG SALES REP stand and sit in front of the
room.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 31.


Mark, Porter, Vinny and Danny listen to the bond trader's
spiel, which is condescending and very sharp.

The Deutsche Rep hands out hard copies.

MARK BAUM
So how many people have you talked
to about this trade?

JARED
A few. And there’s definitely some
interest.


38 FAST CUTS: A HALF DOZEN PEOPLE THAT HE TALKED TO PREVIOUSLY38
SAYING “NO” “GET LOST JARED” “YOU’RE HIGH” ETC.


39 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS 39

MARK BAUM
(sarcasm)
Which is why you’re here talking to
us, a wrong number.

JARED VENNETT
Look, some people have called me in
to just laugh at me on this deal.
Is that what this is?

VINNY
That’s not what this is. That’s
just Mark. We wanna hear this.

JARED VENNETT
Okay, here we go...

On the table is a JENGA GAME of stacked wooden blocks. On the
side of the blocks is written the ratings of the tiers AAA,
AA, BBB, BB, and B.

JARED VENNETT (CONT’D)
This is a basic mortgage bond. The
original ones were simple,
thousands of AAA mortgages bundled
together and sold with a guarantee
from the US government. But the
modern day ones are private and are
made up of layers of tranches, with
the AAA highest rated getting paid
first and the lowest, B rated
getting paid last and taking on
defaults first.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 31A.

JARED VENNETT (CONT’D)
Obviously if you’re buying B levels
you can get paid more. Hey, they’re
risky, so sometimes they fail...

He throws one of the B blocks into a TRASH CAN.

JARED
But somewhere along the line these
B and BB level tranches went from
risky to dog shit. I’m talking rock
bottom Fico scores, no income
verification, adjustable rates...
Dog shit. Default rates are already
up from 1 to 4 percent. If they
rise to 8 percent, and they will, a
lot of these BBB's are going to
zero.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 32.


Jared chucks another B block and a BB in the garbage.

JARED (CONT’D)
And that, my friends, is an
opportunity.

DANNY
You're sure of the math?

Jared gestures to his CHINESE QUANT, sitting to his right.

JARED
Jiang is my quant. Look at him, he
doesn't even speak English. He won
a national math competition in
China. China. Yeah I’m sure of the
math.

Ted turns to camera.

TED JIANG
Actually I do speak English. Jared
likes to say I don’t because he
thinks it makes me seem more
authentic. And I finished second in
the national math competition. Some
people at work think Jared’s a dick
but he’s great at his job.

VINNY
So you’re offering us the chance to
short that pile of blocks? How?

JARED
With something called a credit
default swap. It’s like insurance
on the bond. And if it goes bust
you can make a 10 to 1, even 20 to
1 return. And it’s already slowly
going bust. But no one’s paying
attention cause all the banks are
busy getting paid obscene amounts
of fees selling these bonds.
Basically I'm standing in front of
a burning house and offering you
fire insurance on it.

Danny's trying to get his head around Jared’s numbers.

DANNY
How can the underlying bonds in
these pools be as bad as you say?
They wouldn't be legal.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 33.


JARED
No one knows what's in these bonds.
I've seen some that are 65% AAA
rated that are actually full of 95
percent subprime shit with Ficos
below 550.

VINNY
Get the fuck out of here!

JARED
And now get ready to really have
your mind blown. I just discovered
this treat...

TED JIANG
(to camera)
We discovered it. But that’s fine.
He’s on a roll.

JARED
...when the market deems some bond
too risky to buy, what do you think
happens to it? We just warehouse
them on our books?! No. They get
repackaged, with a whole bunch of
other shit that didn't sell, into a
CDO.

MARK
A what?

Jared takes a bunch of the BBB, BB and B rated blocks and
makes a precarious NEW tower.

JARED
A collateralized debt obligation. A
C-D-O. We put a bunch of unsold B,
BB or BBB bonds together, when the
pile gets large enough, the whole
thing's considered diversified and
the whores at the ratings agencies
rate it 92, 93% AAA. No questions
asked.

MARK
Holy hell... Say that again.

FREEZE: Mark, leaning forward completely engaged.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 33A.


JARED (V.O.)
The Collateralized debt obligation.
It’s important to understand
because it’s what allowed a housing
crisis to become a nation wide
economic disaster. So here is world
famous chef Anthony Bourdain to
explain.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 34.
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In a conference room, Jared Vennett presents a risky investment opportunity involving mortgage bonds to Mark Baum and his team, using a Jenga game to illustrate the bond structure and the risks of lower-rated tranches. Initially skeptical, Mark and his team become increasingly engaged as Jared reveals the deceptive nature of the bonds and introduces collateralized debt obligations (CDOs). The scene is marked by a mix of skepticism, humor, and intrigue, culminating in Mark's eager request for clarification on the investment's complexities.
Strengths
  • Clear explanation of complex financial concepts
  • Engaging dialogue and character interactions
  • Foreshadowing of the impending economic crisis
Weaknesses
  • Some may find the financial jargon overwhelming
  • Limited visual elements beyond the Jenga game

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene effectively conveys crucial information about the financial crisis while maintaining a sarcastic and engaging tone. The presentation of complex concepts is clear and engaging, setting the stage for the plot to unfold.


Story Content

Concept: 9.3

The concept of explaining the complexities of mortgage bonds in a presentation format is innovative and crucial to the understanding of the financial crisis. The scene effectively conveys the high stakes and risks involved.

Plot: 9.1

The plot is advanced significantly through the presentation, as it sets up the characters' motivations and the central conflict of shorting the housing market. The scene foreshadows the impending economic disaster.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and unique financial concepts, such as credit default swaps and collateralized debt obligations, and presents them in a compelling and engaging way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to the world of high finance.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters' reactions and interactions during the presentation reveal their skepticism, intrigue, and critical thinking. Each character's personality shines through their responses to the information presented.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo subtle changes in their perspectives and attitudes towards the financial opportunity presented. Their reactions hint at future developments and decisions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to convince the other characters to take a risky financial opportunity seriously. This reflects his desire to prove his expertise and knowledge in the financial world, as well as his need for validation and success.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to persuade the other characters to invest in a credit default swap and profit from the impending financial crisis. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of convincing skeptical colleagues to take a risky financial bet.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene arises from the characters' differing perspectives on the financial opportunity presented. There is tension between skepticism and intrigue, setting the stage for future decisions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with skeptical characters challenging the protagonist's proposal and raising doubts about the risky investment strategy. The audience is left unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

High Stakes: 10

The high stakes involved in shorting the housing market and the risks associated with the financial opportunity presented heighten the tension and urgency of the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing the central conflict of shorting the housing market and foreshadowing the economic disaster. It sets the stage for future plot developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the financial discussion, as well as the characters' reactions to the protagonist's proposal. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the scene will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethics of profiting from a financial crisis and the morality of taking advantage of risky investments. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about risk-taking and financial gain.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.8

The scene evokes a mix of emotions, including concern, intrigue, and critical thinking. The high stakes and risks involved in shorting the housing market add depth to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9.4

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and informative, effectively conveying the complexities of financial concepts while maintaining a sarcastic tone. The back-and-forth between characters adds depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, high-stakes tension, and complex financial concepts. The characters' motivations and conflicts keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and dynamic, with quick exchanges of dialogue and tense moments that keep the audience engaged. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness in building tension and suspense.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is formatted correctly and contributes to the pacing of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy, high-stakes financial scene, with clear character motivations and conflict driving the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses humor and sarcasm to convey the absurdity of the financial instruments being discussed, particularly through Mark's interactions with Jared. This adds a layer of engagement for the audience, but it could benefit from a more balanced tone that allows for moments of seriousness to underscore the gravity of the situation.
  • The use of the Jenga game as a visual metaphor for the structure of mortgage bonds is clever and provides a tangible way for the audience to understand complex financial concepts. However, the explanation could be streamlined to avoid overwhelming viewers with jargon, ensuring that the metaphor remains accessible.
  • Jared's character comes off as both confident and condescending, which can alienate the audience. While this is likely intentional to reflect the arrogance often found in finance, it may be beneficial to show a moment of vulnerability or doubt to create a more rounded character.
  • The dialogue is sharp and witty, but at times it feels overly expository, particularly when Jared explains the mechanics of the bonds. This could be improved by integrating these explanations more naturally into the conversation, allowing characters to discover information organically rather than delivering it in a lecture format.
  • The scene transitions to a voiceover from Jared that introduces Anthony Bourdain, which feels abrupt. While Bourdain's presence is a unique touch, the transition could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene and keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Mark or another character expresses genuine concern about the implications of what they are discussing, which would ground the scene and provide emotional weight.
  • Simplify some of the financial jargon in Jared's explanations to make them more digestible for the audience. Use analogies or relatable examples that connect with everyday experiences.
  • Introduce a moment of doubt or conflict for Jared, perhaps through a brief flashback or a comment that reveals his awareness of the risks involved in the trade, making him a more relatable character.
  • Integrate the exposition into the dialogue more fluidly, allowing characters to ask questions and react to the information as it unfolds, rather than having one character deliver a monologue.
  • Smooth out the transition to Anthony Bourdain's voiceover by foreshadowing his involvement earlier in the scene, perhaps through a brief mention of his culinary expertise in relation to the financial concepts being discussed.



Scene 16 - From Fish to Financial Collapse
40 INT. CHEF’S KITCHEN - DAY 40

In a high end professional kitchen ANTHONY BOURDAIN opens a
fridge with a bunch of fish in it.

ANTHONY BOURDAIN
Okay, I’m a chef on a Sunday
afternoon setting the night’s menu
at a big restaurant. I ordered my
fish on Friday which is the
mortgage bond that Michael Burry
shorted. But some of the fresh fish
doesn’t sell. I don’t know why,
maybe it just came out halibut has
the intelligence of a dolphin. So
what am I going to do, throw all
this unsold old fish, which is the
BBB level of the bond, in the
garbage and take the loss?

Bourdain chops up the old fish and pushes it into the big pot
of “SEAFOOD STEW.”

ANTHONY BOURDAIN (CONT’D)
No way. Being the crafty and
morally onerous chef that I am,
whatever crappy levels of the bond
I don’t sell I throw into a “sea
food stew.” See, it’s not old fish.
It’s a whole new thing! And no one
knows they’re eating three day old
halibut. That is a CDO.


41 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS 41

BACK TO THE SCENE

MARK
Wait, wait, so the mortgage bonds
are dog shit but the CDOs are dog
shit wrapped in garbage?

JARED
Institutions treat these CDOs like
they’re as solid as treasury bonds
and these things are going to zero.

DANNY
That can’t be right. There were 500
billion in housing bonds sold last
year alone.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 35.

DANNY (CONT'D)
The banks, the ratings agencies,
the government... They wouldn’t let
this happen.

JARED
They would and they did. My whole
department is long this stuff. The
pricks are calling me Chicken
Little and Bubble boy. But when
reality hits the idiots in my
department won’t be laughing.

He starts pulling blocks out of the CDO and MBS towers and
throwing them in the garbage.

JARED (CONT’D)
Triple B’s? Zero. Double B's? Zero.
B's? Zero.

On this last one, the table shakes... both towers collapses.

JARED (CONT’D)
Then that happens.

MARK
What's that?

JARED
That is Aermcia’s housing market.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a high-end kitchen, Anthony Bourdain creatively repurposes unsold fish into a seafood stew, drawing a parallel to the transformation of worthless mortgage bonds into seemingly valuable collateralized debt obligations (CDOs). The scene shifts to a conference room where financial analysts Mark, Jared, and Danny discuss the risks of these financial instruments. Jared illustrates the instability of CDOs by pulling blocks from a tower, leading to a dramatic collapse that symbolizes the looming crisis in the housing market. The tone blends urgency with dark humor, highlighting the mismanagement of financial products and foreshadowing disaster.
Strengths
  • Effective use of metaphor
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Building tension and suspense
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted, engaging, and crucial to the overall narrative, providing key insights into the financial crisis and setting up the tension for future events.


Story Content

Concept: 9.5

The concept of using a chef and seafood stew metaphor to explain the financial crisis is innovative and thought-provoking, adding depth and layers to the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial to the overall story, providing essential information about the impending financial crisis and setting up conflicts and tensions that will drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the culinary world and financial markets, blending two seemingly unrelated topics in a creative way. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed and their reactions to the unfolding events add depth and complexity to the story.

Character Changes: 9

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the events and revelations set the stage for potential transformations in the future.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to creatively solve a problem and maintain the reputation of his restaurant. This reflects his desire to excel in his craft and overcome challenges in a clever way.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to avoid financial loss by repurposing unsold fish into a new dish. This reflects the immediate challenge of managing food inventory and maximizing profits.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with characters facing internal and external challenges related to the financial crisis and their beliefs about the market.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external challenges that test his skills and ethics. The audience is left wondering how he will navigate the situation.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with characters facing financial ruin, reputational damage, and the potential collapse of the housing market.

Story Forward: 10

The scene significantly moves the story forward by providing key information, introducing conflicts, and setting up the central conflict of the financial crisis.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the protagonist's actions and decisions. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the ethical dilemma of serving old fish disguised as a new dish. It challenges the protagonist's values of honesty and integrity in his culinary practice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.8

The scene evokes a sense of unease, tension, and concern in the audience, setting up emotional stakes for the characters and the impending crisis.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue is sharp, informative, and realistic, effectively conveying the characters' emotions, motivations, and the complexity of the financial concepts being discussed.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, drama, and suspense. The fast-paced dialogue and action keep the audience invested in the characters' decisions and outcomes.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension. The rapid dialogue and action keep the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and character dialogue. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The use of Anthony Bourdain as a metaphorical figure to explain complex financial concepts is creative and engaging, but it risks alienating viewers who may not be familiar with culinary terms or the nuances of mortgage-backed securities and CDOs. The metaphor of fish and stew is clever, but it could benefit from clearer connections to the financial concepts for those less versed in the subject matter.
  • The dialogue between Mark and Jared effectively captures the skepticism and disbelief surrounding the financial instruments being discussed. However, the transition from Bourdain's kitchen to the conference room feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the scene and maintain audience engagement.
  • Jared's character shines through in this scene, showcasing his frustration and confidence in his analysis. However, the dialogue could be more varied in tone to reflect the gravity of the situation. While humor is present, the stakes are high, and a more serious undertone could heighten the tension and urgency of the moment.
  • The visual elements of the scene are strong, particularly the imagery of the collapsing towers representing the CDOs and mortgage-backed securities. However, the metaphor could be expanded upon to ensure that viewers fully grasp the implications of the collapse, perhaps by including a brief explanation of what the towers represent in terms of financial stability.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but it could benefit from moments of silence or pauses after key revelations to allow the weight of the information to sink in for both the characters and the audience. This would enhance the dramatic impact of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief explanation or visual cue that connects Bourdain's culinary metaphor to the financial concepts for viewers who may not be familiar with them. This could be done through a voiceover or a quick graphic that illustrates the relationship between the fish and the bonds.
  • Smooth out the transition between Bourdain's kitchen and the conference room by incorporating a visual or auditory cue that links the two settings, such as a sound of a pot boiling that fades into the conference room ambiance.
  • Introduce more varied emotional tones in the dialogue, especially during Jared's explanations. This could involve moments of frustration, disbelief, or urgency that reflect the high stakes of the financial crisis.
  • Expand on the visual metaphor of the collapsing towers by including a brief moment where the characters react to the collapse, allowing the audience to feel the weight of the impending crisis.
  • Incorporate pauses or moments of silence after significant lines of dialogue to emphasize the gravity of the situation and give the audience time to process the information being presented.



Scene 17 - Trusting the Unknown
42 INT. FRONTPOINT OFFICE - DAY 42

Vinny, Danny and Porter cluster unhappily at their desk.

They watch Mark say good-bye to the Deutsche Bank team at the
door. He's lost in thought as he returns.

VINNY
He's playing us. He's dumping his
position.

MARK
What if he's right?

VINNY
You want him to be right!

MARK
Yes, I do. When a bank offers a
loan, people take it. Why? Because
they assume banks know more about
money than they do.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 36.

MARK (CONT'D)
Banks have spent decades training
us to let them handle our money and
credit. How else do they get away
with credit cards that keep you in
debt for years? Student loan rates
that you never get free of?
Financing, for many Americans, is
just a fancy term for getting
raped. Then this guy walks in my
office... tells me those same banks
got greedy... lost track of the
market ...and I can now profit off
their stupidity? Fuck yeah, I want
him to be right.

DANNY
Things can't be as bad as he says
out there.

MARK
Let's find out. That's our job.

VINNY
Why don't you hate this guy? He's
everything you taught us not to
trust.

MARK
I can't hate him. He's so
transparent in his self interest I
kind of respect him. Would I buy a
car from him? No way.
Is he right about the mortgage
market? Let's find out.
(the others moan)
Look, it's two very simple
questions. Is there a housing
bubble? And if there is, how
exposed are the banks?

Mark’s team can't resist him when he's in adventure mode.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 37.


DANNY
Yeah, okay. Fine.

PORTER
Sure.

Vinny pfiffs his concession.

MARK
And let’s move fast. If Vennett’s
right, it’s only a matter of time
before every loser with a few
million bucks in a fund jumps on
this.
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In the Frontpoint office, Vinny, Danny, and Porter express skepticism about Mark's trust in banker Vennett, whom they suspect is manipulating them. Mark argues for an investigation into the housing market, believing it holds profit potential due to banks' mismanagement. Despite initial hesitations, Mark's enthusiasm convinces the team to pursue the investigation, setting the stage for a risky yet adventurous opportunity.
Strengths
  • Strong dialogue
  • Effective tension-building
  • Compelling character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Slightly predictable character reactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up the tension and conflict surrounding the characters' decision to bet against the housing market. It introduces key themes of greed, mistrust in the financial system, and the pursuit of profit, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of betting against the housing market and the characters' differing perspectives on the opportunity presented by Jared Vennett are compelling. The scene effectively conveys the complexities of the financial instruments involved.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses significantly in this scene as the characters grapple with the decision to follow Vennett's advice and bet against the housing market. It sets the stage for future developments and establishes the central conflict of the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the financial industry, exploring themes of trust, greed, and self-interest in a compelling and relatable way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities and motivations are well-defined in this scene, particularly Mark's cynicism and determination. The interactions between the team members reveal their differing attitudes towards the investment opportunity.

Character Changes: 8

Mark's unwavering determination and the team's gradual shift from skepticism to curiosity showcase subtle character changes in this scene. The decision to pursue the investment opportunity marks a turning point for the characters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the moral and ethical dilemmas of profiting off the potential collapse of the housing market. It reflects his desire for financial success and his internal struggle with his own values and beliefs.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to investigate the housing market and assess the potential risks and opportunities for profit. It reflects the immediate challenge of making informed financial decisions in a volatile market.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene arises from the characters' differing opinions on the investment opportunity and the high stakes involved in their decision. The tension between skepticism and conviction drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and motivations among the characters. The audience is kept on edge as they navigate the ethical dilemmas and financial risks.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes involved in betting against the housing market and the potential for significant financial gain or loss add a sense of urgency and risk to the scene. The characters' decisions have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing the central conflict of betting against the housing market and setting up the team's decision-making process. It propels the narrative towards the climax of the film.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting goals and motivations. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will navigate the ethical challenges he faces.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's conflicting views on banks, credit, and financial institutions. It challenges his beliefs about trust, greed, and self-interest.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of tension and anticipation as the characters grapple with the risky investment decision. While there are elements of cynicism and hope, the emotional impact is more intellectual than deeply emotional.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' conflicting viewpoints, skepticism, and underlying motivations. It drives the scene forward and adds depth to the characters' personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, high stakes, and moral dilemmas. The characters' conflicting views and motivations create tension and intrigue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of dialogue, action, and character development. The rhythm of the scene enhances its impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The technical writing proficiency is strong.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Mark's internal conflict and his complex feelings towards the financial system and the character of Jared Vennett. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the tension. While Mark's passion is evident, the stakes could be raised further by incorporating more emotional weight regarding the potential consequences of their actions on real people affected by the housing crisis.
  • Vinny's skepticism serves as a good counterpoint to Mark's enthusiasm, but his character could be fleshed out more. Adding a line or two that reveals Vinny's personal stakes or fears about the situation could deepen the conflict and make the audience more invested in his perspective.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit rushed, particularly in the transition from Mark's passionate speech to the team's reluctant agreement. A moment of hesitation or a brief exchange of glances among the team members could heighten the tension and emphasize the gravity of their decision to pursue this risky investigation.
  • The metaphor of banks 'raping' consumers is powerful but may come off as overly blunt or jarring. While it effectively conveys Mark's anger, it could be rephrased to maintain the intensity without alienating the audience. Finding a balance between raw emotion and articulate critique would enhance the impact of his message.
  • The scene ends on a strong note with Mark's call to action, but it could benefit from a visual element that reinforces the urgency of their mission. Perhaps a shot of the team members' expressions or a quick montage of them diving into research could visually convey their commitment and the impending urgency of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or a shared look among the team after Mark's passionate speech to emphasize the weight of their decision.
  • Flesh out Vinny's character by including a line that reveals his personal stakes or fears regarding the investigation into the housing market.
  • Rephrase Mark's metaphor about banks and consumer debt to maintain intensity while avoiding overly graphic language that might alienate the audience.
  • Incorporate a visual element at the end of the scene that shows the team diving into research or planning, reinforcing their commitment to the investigation.
  • Add more subtext to the dialogue to enhance the tension and emotional stakes, allowing the audience to feel the weight of the potential consequences of their actions.



Scene 18 - Awkward Encounters and Harsh Realities
43 INT. HIGH END DANCE CLUB - NIGHT 43

MUSIC: A rap song with a great beat and attitude like GRILLZ
by NELLY

JAMIE SHIPLEY, 30, good looking but earnest and CHARLIE
GELLER, 31, very smart and neurotic are dancing on a dance
floor in a high end Chelsea club.

WOMEN COME TO HANDSOME Jamie but his horrible dancing soon
chases them away TO Charlie who tries to impress.

CHARLIE
Hey ladies! I’m Charlie! This is
Jamie!

The WOMEN move away.

MOMENTS LATE: Charlie and Jamie approach a table full of
ATTRACTIVE MANHATTAN PROFESSIONAL WOMEN.

CHARLIE (CONT’D)
(yelling over the music)
Hi ladies! I’m Charlie . This is
Jamie!

JAMIE
Hi! I’m Jamie!

ATTRACTIVE MANHATTAN PROFESSIONAL
How can we help you?

CHARLIE
I’ll just be straight with you. No
games. The truth is, you all are
very attractive and we wanted to
get to know you!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 37A.


ATTRACTIVE MANHATTAN PROFESSIONAL
Get the fuck away from us!

CHARLIE
Okay!

Jamie starts to sit down with them.

CHARLIE (CONT’D)
No! They said fuck off.

JAMIE
Oh!

Jamie jumps up and they leave.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 38.


GRAPHIC: CHARLIE GELLER AND JAMIE SHIPLEY


44 INT. LOBBY WAITING AREA - JP MORGAN - NEW YORK - DAY 44

Charlie and Jamie sit nervous under massive Richter works.

CHARLIE
JP Morgan. Can you believe it?

JAMIE
Okay, don’t make me nervous.
They’re just people.

Finally, they hear...

YOUNG MAN'S VOICE
Brownfield Fund?

They stand, straighten their suits. A BOY BANKER hurries out
from behind the reception desk.

CHARLIE
You must be Ted!

YOUNG BANKER
No, I'm Chris. I'm on Ted's desk.

CHARLIE
Oh. I’m Charlie. Charlie Geller.

JAMIE
Jamie Shipley. We’re excited to get
set up on your trading platform.

YOUNG BANKER
Cool. Here, guys, have a seat a
second.

He gestures to the chairs they just stood from. Not good.

YOUNG BANKER (CONT’D)
Ted asked me to do some meeting
prep but I couldn't find any
marketing material on you.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 39-40.


CHARLIE
Oh. Sorry. We don't have any. We
recently moved here from Colorado.

YOUNG BANKER
Got it. Can we see your offering
documents?

CHARLIE
(sheepish)
Brownfield is all our own money.

YOUNG BANKER
Well, can you tell us how much you
manage?

CHARLIE
Sure. It's 30 million, but we
started four years ago with 110
thousand. So, our returns have been
pretty phenomenal.

JAMIE
We want to get an ISDA agreement
with JP Morgan so we can deal in
long term options.

YOUNG BANKER
That's cool. But you're under the
capital requirements for an ISDA.

CHARLIE
Like, by how much?

YOUNG BANKER
One billion four hundred seventy
million.

Jamie and Charlie flinch.

CHARLIE
Does it make us look bad that we
didn’t know what the capital
requirements were?

YOUNG BANKER
It’s not great.

Awkward beat.

YOUNG BANKER (CONT’D)
Have a good one guys.

He walks away.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 41.


JAMIE
B of A and Bear didn’t return our
calls and even Wachovia blew us
off. 30 million means nothing to
these banks. They keep calling us
“high net worth individuals.”

CHARLIE
Here’s the prospectuses and
brochures of all the other losers
who didn’t get past the lobby.

There are scattered brochures and folders with names like
“The Nostradamus Fund” and “The Long Short Group.” Under one
is Jared Vennett’s “Shorting the Housing Market.”

CHARLIE (CONT’D)
Look... This guy’s saying the
housing market is a massive
bubble...

Jamie LOOKS TO CAMERA

JAMIE
We didn’t really find Jared
Vennett’s housing bubble pitch in
the lobby of a bank that rejected
us.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 42.

JAMIE (CONT'D)
The truth is, a friend told Charlie
about it. And I read about it in
Grant’s Interest Rate Observer. But
this is more fun.

CHARLIE
This guy says there are 10 to 1
returns on credit default swaps on
mortgage backed securities. He says
they whole housing market will
collapse...

Freeze.

JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
For Jamie and Charlie , the housing
market doomsday prediction was
music to their ears.


45 OMIT 45


46 OMIT 46
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Jamie Shipley and Charlie Geller struggle to connect with women at a high-end Chelsea dance club, facing rejection due to Jamie's poor dancing and Charlie's awkwardness. After leaving the club, they attend a meeting at JP Morgan, where a young banker, Chris, informs them that their fund does not meet the necessary capital requirements for an ISDA agreement, leaving them feeling embarrassed and out of place. Their hopes are briefly reignited by a brochure about Jared Vennett's prediction of a housing market collapse, but they ultimately leave the meeting dejected and contemplating their next steps.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Authentic character interactions
  • Engaging and relatable premise
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant conflict
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 7.5

The scene effectively combines elements of comedy and drama to create an engaging and relatable situation. The awkward interactions and humorous dialogue keep the audience entertained, while also providing insight into the characters' struggles and aspirations.


Story Content

Concept: 7.5

The concept of two inexperienced individuals trying to navigate the high-stakes world of finance while also struggling with social interactions is engaging and relatable. It provides a unique perspective on the challenges faced by newcomers in a competitive industry.

Plot: 7

The plot of the scene revolves around Charlie and Jamie's failed attempts to socialize with professional women at a nightclub, highlighting their social awkwardness and the obstacles they face in the financial world. It sets up their characters and establishes their motivations.

Originality: 7

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the typical 'business deal gone wrong' scenario by incorporating elements of social interaction and personal relationships.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Charlie and Jamie are well-developed, with distinct personalities and relatable traits. Their interactions and dialogue reveal their insecurities, aspirations, and comedic tendencies, making them engaging and memorable.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it sets the stage for potential growth and development for Charlie and Jamie as they navigate the challenges of the financial world and social interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

Jamie's internal goal is to be successful in social interactions and to impress others with his charm and personality.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to establish connections with potential business partners and secure a deal with JP Morgan for their trading platform.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on the characters' social awkwardness and their desire to succeed in the financial industry. While there is tension in their interactions, it is more lighthearted and comedic than intense.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing challenges and setbacks in their pursuit of success.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on the characters' social interactions and personal aspirations rather than high-stakes financial decisions. However, it sets the stage for future challenges and opportunities.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the characters' motivations, personalities, and challenges. It sets up future plot developments and character arcs while providing insight into the world of finance and the obstacles faced by newcomers.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected reactions of the characters and the twists in the business deal storyline.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' perception of success and their willingness to take risks in pursuit of their goals.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, including embarrassment, disappointment, and excitement. The awkward interactions and humorous moments create a connection with the audience, evoking both empathy and amusement.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and authentic, capturing the awkwardness and humor of the characters' interactions. It effectively conveys their personalities and motivations while providing comedic moments.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the characters and the high stakes of their business negotiations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character goals and conflicts, leading to a cohesive narrative progression.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the awkwardness and desperation of Jamie and Charlie as they navigate the high-stakes world of finance, but it could benefit from deeper character development. The audience gets a sense of their personalities, but more backstory or internal conflict could enhance their relatability and stakes.
  • The dialogue is humorous and captures the essence of their characters, but it sometimes feels a bit forced, particularly in the club scene. The transition from the club to the JP Morgan meeting is abrupt, and the tonal shift could be smoother to maintain audience engagement.
  • The use of the club setting serves as a contrast to the serious financial discussions that follow, but it may not fully resonate with the audience. The humor in the club scene is effective, but it risks overshadowing the gravity of their financial ambitions. Balancing the comedic elements with the seriousness of their situation could create a more cohesive narrative.
  • The introduction of the Young Banker is effective in showcasing the challenges Jamie and Charlie face, but his character could be fleshed out more. Providing him with a distinct personality or quirks could make the interaction more memorable and engaging.
  • The scene ends on a cliffhanger with the mention of Jared Vennett's pitch, which is a strong narrative device. However, the transition to the voiceover feels somewhat disjointed. A more seamless integration of the voiceover with the visual elements could enhance the storytelling.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief flashback or internal monologue for Jamie and Charlie to provide context for their motivations and aspirations. This could help the audience connect with them on a deeper level.
  • Smooth out the transition between the club scene and the JP Morgan meeting by incorporating a moment of reflection or dialogue that ties the two settings together, emphasizing the contrast between their social lives and professional ambitions.
  • Enhance the Young Banker's character by giving him a memorable line or a unique trait that sets him apart, making the interaction more engaging and relatable.
  • Balance the humor in the club scene with the seriousness of their financial goals by incorporating moments of vulnerability or self-doubt, allowing the audience to see the stakes involved in their pursuit.
  • Integrate the voiceover more fluidly with the visuals by using it to highlight key moments in the scene, reinforcing the themes of ambition and the impending financial crisis.



Scene 19 - High Stakes and Paranoia
47 EXT. BOULDER COLORADO - GARAGE - SUMMER DAY 47

A CRAPPY GARAGE with computer paper on the wall reading “The
Brownfield Fund” It’s hot as Jamie and Charlie work on their
lap tops. Jamie pours water over his head. A CHOCOLATE LAB
sleeps on the floor.

JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
They had started working out of
Jamie’s garage with 110 thousand
Jamie had saved taking sailboats up
and down the east coast. Their
strategy was simple and
brilliant...

CHARLIE
People hate to think about bad
things happening so they
underestimate their likelihood.

JAMIE
Holy shit. That’s like the most
brilliant thing you’ve ever said!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 42A.


JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
And Jamie and Charlie found banks
will sell options very cheaply on
things they think will never ever
happen. When they were wrong, they
were wrong small. But when they
were right, they were right big.
Within a a few years they had
turned their 110 grand into 30
million. But then it was time to
go to NYC. And so far, it wasn’t
going well.


48 INT. JP MORGAN LOBBY - CONTINUOUS 48

JAMIE
So what if it does seem
interesting. No bank will give us
our ISDA. We’re dead in the water.

CHARLIE
I think we should call Ben.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 43.


49 EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY 49

FREEZE: WE CUT TO BEN RICKERT, 45, and the most neurotic
person we’ve met so far, walking his dog with Jamie on A
RESIDENTIAL STREET or PARK.

JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
Ben Rickert was a former trader in
Singapore for Chase who had quit
the whole game in disgust. He
happened to be Jamie’s neighbor
when they were in Colorado and they
met walking dogs. But Ben was dark.
He didn’t just think the whole
system would fail, he thought the
whole world was going down.


50 INT. SAM’S HOUSE - NIGHT 50

We see hands putting down jugs of water next to a dozen jugs
of water in a kitchen. It’s Jamie and Charlie.

JAMIE
Hey Ben! Do you think you have
enough water?

BEN (O.C.)
Average precipitation in this
region is down 2% a year for the
past eight years! And Congress just
cut the budget to police loose
nukes!

CHARLIE
God he’s paranoid.

Ben enters.

BEN
Not paranoid. Prepared.

FREEZE

JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
Ben had real experience in a big
bank. Jamie and Charlie had never
even been in a Manhattan bank
bathroom. But Ben was done with the
banking world. He was very clear.


51 INT. JP MORGAN LOBBY - CONTINUOUS 51
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 44.


JAMIE
Look, there really could be
something here. But it’s pretty
bold, so let’s do some digging
before we call Ben. .

CHARLIE
(Still perusing the pitch). Wow.
This is pretty shocking. It’s like
it’s all hidden in plain sight...

LOBBY SECURITY GUARD
Seriously guys! I need you out of
here! Now!

CUT TO:


CU: The hilarious scowl of the MIAMI DOLPHINS LOGO.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a hot garage in Boulder, Colorado, Jamie and Charlie celebrate their financial success, having turned $110,000 into $30 million by betting against unlikely events. However, they face challenges in securing an ISDA from banks in New York City and consider reaching out to their neighbor, Ben Rickert, a former trader with a pessimistic view of the financial system. The scene shifts to Ben's home, where his paranoia about global issues contrasts with Jamie and Charlie's humor and optimism. The tension escalates as they navigate their financial predicament, culminating in their ejection from the JP Morgan lobby by security.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Blend of humor and informative elements
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict development
  • Moderate emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up the characters, their unique dynamics, and the central conflict of trying to break into the financial industry with limited resources. It blends humor with informative elements, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a small team trying to navigate the complex world of finance with unconventional methods is intriguing. The scene effectively introduces this concept and sets up the potential for conflict and growth.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the characters' attempts to break into the financial industry and the challenges they face. It sets up the central conflict and hints at the potential for growth and success.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters and situations within the financial world, offering fresh perspectives on trading strategies and the banking industry. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Jamie, Charlie, and Ben are well-developed in this scene, each with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions and dialogue reveal their dynamics and set the stage for character growth.

Character Changes: 7

The characters show hints of potential growth and change, particularly in their approach to finance and their interactions with each other. These changes set the stage for future development.

Internal Goal: 8

Jamie's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the challenges of entering the financial world and making a successful transition to NYC. This reflects his desire for financial success and recognition in the industry.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to secure an ISDA from a bank to further their financial trading strategies. This goal reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in their business.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the characters grapple with their own doubts and the challenges of breaking into the financial industry. The external conflict is hinted at but not fully developed.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and obstacles that challenge the protagonist's goals. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 7

The scene establishes the high stakes of the financial world and the characters' ambitious goals, but the immediate consequences are not fully realized yet.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing key characters, setting up the central conflict, and hinting at future developments. It keeps the audience engaged and curious about what will happen next.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting perspectives and the uncertain outcome of their financial ventures. The audience is left unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' differing perspectives on the financial world. Jamie and Charlie have a more optimistic view, while Ben is more pessimistic and believes in the impending collapse of the system.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, primarily through humor and the characters' interactions. The audience is drawn into the characters' journey but not deeply emotionally invested.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is engaging, blending humor with informative elements about finance. It effectively conveys the characters' personalities and motivations while moving the story forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, high stakes, and the introduction of intriguing characters. The tension and urgency keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The rapid-fire dialogue and shifting dynamics between the characters create a sense of urgency and momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and engaging the audience.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the characters of Jamie and Charlie, showcasing their humble beginnings and the contrast between their garage startup and the high-stakes world of finance. However, the dialogue could benefit from more depth to further develop their personalities and motivations. Currently, it feels somewhat surface-level, lacking emotional resonance.
  • The use of voiceover from Jared Vennett is a strong narrative device, but it can also create a distance between the audience and the characters. Consider integrating more direct dialogue or interactions between Jamie and Charlie to ground the scene in their experiences and emotions, rather than relying heavily on exposition.
  • The transition between the garage and the JP Morgan lobby feels abrupt. While it serves to show the contrast between their current situation and their aspirations, a smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative. Perhaps a brief moment of reflection or a visual cue could bridge the two settings more effectively.
  • The humor in the scene, particularly Ben's paranoia, is a nice touch, but it could be amplified. The comedic elements could be more pronounced to balance the tension of their financial struggles, making the characters more relatable and engaging.
  • The scene ends on a somewhat abrupt note with the security guard's intervention. While this adds a sense of urgency, it might be more impactful if it were foreshadowed earlier in the scene. Building up to this moment could create a stronger climax and leave the audience wanting more.
Suggestions
  • Enhance character development by adding more personal dialogue between Jamie and Charlie that reveals their fears, aspirations, and the stakes of their venture. This will help the audience connect with them on a deeper level.
  • Consider reducing the reliance on voiceover and instead show the characters' thoughts and feelings through their actions and interactions. This can create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Create a more seamless transition between the garage and the JP Morgan lobby by incorporating a moment of reflection or a visual metaphor that symbolizes their journey from humble beginnings to the corporate world.
  • Amplify the comedic elements, especially in Ben's character, to provide levity amidst the tension. This can make the characters more relatable and the scene more enjoyable.
  • Foreshadow the security guard's intervention earlier in the scene to build tension and create a more satisfying climax. This could involve subtle hints or escalating actions that lead to their eventual ejection from the lobby.



Scene 20 - Abandoned Aspirations
52 INT. TERMINAL - MIAMI AIRPORT - DAY 52

Porter and Danny pass a shop with the Dolphins logo on every
conceivable domestic item. They're on a mission, one they're
sure is a waste of time.

PORTER
One time Mark sent me to Indiana
for a week to check out an air
conditioner factory. He thought
they were using inferior materials.
They weren’t.

DANNY
Come on, it’s not so bad. It’s
Florida. Besides, I never get to
travel. Let’s have fun.

PORTER
Don’t be chipper in the face of me
being miserable. Please. It makes
me hate you.

DANNY
I wasn’t being chipper.

Beat as they walk.

DANNY (CONT’D)
Maybe we can get some Cuban food. I
hear it’s amazing in Miami.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 44A.


PORTER
I’m serious Danny. Knock it off.

DANNY
How is wanting to eat chipper?


53 EXT. UNFINISHED SUBDIVISION - DUSK 53

Porter and Danny get out of a rental car and consider a
FAILED DEVELOPMENT. Four model houses sit alone, closed for
business, their perfect yards surrounded by cyclone fencing.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 45.


STREET LIGHTS NOW COME ON ACROSS THE EMPTY AND HALF FINISHED
SUBDIVISION. Danny and Porter are puzzled, and intrigued.

DANNY
It’s like they just walked away...


54 INT. CONFERENCE HALL - CORPORATE HOTEL - THAT NIGHT 54

Two-hundred eager PARTICIPANTS attend a seminar called, "You
Can Be a Real Estate Millionaire!"

SEMINAR LEADER
Real estate is the only
entrepreneurial activity available
to all Americans. Why? Simple, it
doesn't require capital. That's
right. Let me say that again. You
don't need money to be a real
estate millionaire!

In the back, Porter sips a hotel takeaway cup, stunned,
appalled. Danny takes notes. An EAGER GREETER spots them.
She slips out.

GREETER
Hello gentlemen. Are you
interested in the 10 CD set? Only
2999 dollars!

PORTER
We’re good! Thank you.

Porter and Danny slip away.


55 EXT. FRONT PORCH - RANCH HOUSE - NEXT DAY 55

Danny knocks like someone knocking for the last time. No
answer. He looks in the mail slot... the house is empty.


56 EXT. FRONT PORCH - ANOTHER RANCH HOUSE - DAY 56

Covered in old newspapers. Porter checks one for a date. It’s
three months old.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Porter and Danny navigate Miami Airport, reflecting on a past trip and their current mission, which Porter finds pointless while Danny remains optimistic. They explore an unfinished subdivision filled with abandoned model houses, sparking their curiosity. At a real estate seminar, the leader's outrageous claim that anyone can become a millionaire without capital leaves Porter appalled, while Danny eagerly takes notes. They decline a sales pitch for a CD set and the next day discover an empty ranch house, highlighting the theme of abandonment and contrasting their differing attitudes.
Strengths
  • Effective character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Exploration of themes
Weaknesses
  • Low external conflict
  • Limited emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 7.5

The scene effectively combines elements of drama and comedy to create a tone that reflects the characters' sarcastic and disillusioned attitudes. The exploration of failed real estate developments and the absurdity of the seminar add depth to the storyline.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring failed real estate developments and attending a questionable seminar adds depth to the storyline and provides insight into the characters' motivations and attitudes.

Plot: 7.5

The plot effectively introduces new elements and challenges for the characters, setting up potential conflicts and developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique situations such as the abandoned subdivision and the real estate seminar. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations that drive the scene forward. Their interactions and reactions add depth to the storyline.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo subtle changes in their attitudes and perspectives throughout the scene, setting up potential growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Porter's internal goal is to avoid feeling miserable and frustrated during the trip. This reflects his deeper need for comfort and stability.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to investigate the abandoned subdivision and understand what happened. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is relatively low, focusing more on the characters' internal struggles and interactions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and challenges for the characters, creating uncertainty for the audience.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are moderate, focusing more on the characters' personal experiences and interactions rather than external conflicts.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new elements and challenges for the characters to navigate.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected discoveries and conflicts that arise.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict between Porter's pessimistic view of the situation and Danny's optimistic attitude. This challenges Porter's beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, eliciting feelings of disillusionment, curiosity, and intrigue from the audience.

Dialogue: 7.2

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and attitudes, adding depth to their interactions and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the dynamic interactions between the characters and the mystery surrounding the abandoned subdivision.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard format for a screenplay, making it easy to follow and visualize.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a screenplay, effectively transitioning between different locations and events.


Critique
  • The dialogue between Porter and Danny effectively establishes their contrasting attitudes towards the trip, with Porter embodying cynicism and Danny representing optimism. However, the banter could be tightened to enhance the comedic effect and maintain pacing.
  • The transition from the airport to the unfinished subdivision is visually compelling, but the emotional stakes could be heightened. The scene lacks a sense of urgency or a clear objective for the characters, making it feel somewhat aimless.
  • The seminar scene introduces a critical commentary on the real estate market, but it could benefit from a stronger emotional reaction from Porter. His stunned and appalled reaction is a good start, but it could be expanded to show his internal conflict or moral outrage more vividly.
  • The introduction of the eager greeter selling the CD set adds a humorous touch, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the main narrative. It could be more integrated into the scene's overall theme of misguided optimism in the face of economic collapse.
  • The final moments of the scene, where Danny knocks on the empty ranch house, create a sense of foreboding. However, this could be enhanced by incorporating more sensory details to evoke the atmosphere of abandonment and loss, making the audience feel the weight of the economic downturn.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to make it snappier and more impactful, focusing on the essence of their characters' personalities.
  • Introduce a clear objective for Porter and Danny in the unfinished subdivision to give the scene more direction and purpose.
  • Expand on Porter's reaction to the seminar leader's claims to deepen the audience's understanding of his character and the absurdity of the situation.
  • Integrate the greeter's sales pitch more seamlessly into the narrative, perhaps by having her comment on the state of the housing market or the seminar's unrealistic promises.
  • Enhance the sensory details in the final moments of the scene to create a more immersive experience, allowing the audience to feel the desolation of the abandoned houses.



Scene 21 - Home Uncertainty
57 EXT. FRONT PORCH - YET ANOTHER RANCH HOUSE - DAY 57

Danny peers in a front window. This time, the door OPENS. A
sleepy MAN WITH A TATTOOED NECK rubs his eyes.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 46.


DANNY
Oh. Hello. I'm surveying mortgage
owners who are over 90 days
delinquent. I'm looking for a...
Harvey Humpsey?

TATTOOED NECK
You want my landlord's dog?

DANNY
Your landlord filled out his
mortgage using his dog’s name?

TATTOOED NECK
I guess so. Hold up, has that
asshole not been paying his
mortgage? Cause I’m paying my rent.

DANNY
He is 90 days late on his payments,
yes.

TATTOOED NECK
Seriously, am I going to have to
leave?

There's fear in his eyes, the last thing Danny expected. A
CHILD now appears between the big man's legs.

TATTOOED NECK (CONT’D)
Cause my kid just got settled in
the school.

DANNY
Um. I don’t know. You should talk
to your landlord. Sorry. Have a
good day!

The man stays at the door as Danny hurries away.


58 INT. FOYER - STILL YET ANOTHER RANCH HOUSE - DAY 58

The door opens. Danny and Porter peer in... the place is
abandoned; its few modest furnishings, covered in dust.

PORTER
Hello?! Anybody here?! Hola?! Yo?!


59 INT. LIVING ROOM AND HOME OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 59

Porter tries a light switch, dead.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 47.


A CORKBOARD above a desk still has post-its. The carpet is
covered with files, books, a box of old photos.

PORTER
The only thing they took was their
TV!

He picks up a dusty TIME MAGAZINE with Greenspan/Summers/
Rubin on the cover. "The Committee to Save the World".

DANNY (O.S.)
Come here!


60 INT. DEN AND KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS 60

White bread molds in the bag.

At the counter, Porter watches Danny shows the old mortgage
bill: the house's owner used a black marker to circle the
amount due and then wrote... SORRY!


61 EXT. BACK YARD - CONTINUOUS 61

The back yard is over grown and the pool is murky green.

PORTER
I think I saw three houses in the
whole development with cars in the
driveway.

Suddenly something swirls in the pool and they see a 10 FOOT
ALLIGATOR emerge and submerge.

DANNY
Holy... fucking... shit.


62 EXT. CUBAN RESTAURANT - DAY 62

DANNY IS VISIBLE IN THE WINDOW OF A CUBAN RESTAURANT EATING.
Porter is outside on the sidewalk on his phone.

PORTER
Hey Mark, you might want to get
down here.

CUT TO:
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 48.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Danny encounters a tattooed man at a ranch house who is worried about losing his home due to his landlord's mortgage issues. After advising the man to speak with his landlord, Danny and his partner Porter explore an abandoned ranch house, uncovering remnants of its former occupants and a shocking alligator in the backyard pool. The scene shifts to Danny dining at a Cuban restaurant while Porter is on a phone call, highlighting the tension and absurdity of the situation.
Strengths
  • Building tension and suspense
  • Revealing hidden truths
  • Introducing unexpected dangers
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in the financial deception details
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, engaging, and introduces elements that heighten tension and intrigue. The exploration of the abandoned houses adds a mysterious and eerie atmosphere, while the financial deception and high stakes increase the stakes and keep the audience invested.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring abandoned houses to uncover financial deception and encountering unexpected dangers like the alligator is unique and engaging. It adds layers of mystery and suspense to the scene.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses by revealing more about the financial deception and escalating the stakes with the appearance of the alligator. It keeps the audience engaged and eager to see how the characters will navigate these challenges.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the theme of financial struggles and homeownership, incorporating unexpected elements like an abandoned house and an alligator in the backyard. The dialogue feels authentic and adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions to the discoveries in the abandoned houses and the high-stakes situation with the alligator add depth and tension to the scene. Their interactions and responses drive the plot forward.

Character Changes: 7

The characters experience a shift in their understanding of the situation as they uncover the financial deception and encounter the alligator. Their reactions and decisions reflect these changes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to gather information about delinquent mortgage owners. This reflects his desire to fulfill his job responsibilities and possibly help homeowners in financial distress.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to locate a specific homeowner named Harvey Humpsey. This reflects the immediate challenge of finding the right person to survey.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene arises from the characters' discoveries in the abandoned houses, the financial deception they uncover, and the sudden appearance of the alligator. It creates tension and raises the stakes.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges in his job duties and unexpected obstacles like the abandoned house and the alligator. The audience is left wondering how he will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes in the scene are established through the financial deception, the abandoned houses, and the sudden appearance of the alligator. The characters' safety and the truth they seek are at risk.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about the financial deception, introducing new dangers, and escalating the stakes for the characters. It sets the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 9

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected events like the abandoned house, the alligator in the backyard, and the humorous dialogue. The audience is kept on their toes and eager to see what happens next.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict between the protagonist's job duties and the personal struggles of the homeowners. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the impact of financial hardship on individuals and families.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes fear, confusion, and curiosity in the audience, drawing them into the characters' experiences and the unfolding mysteries. The unexpected dangers and high stakes add to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, fears, and confusion in the face of the unexpected discoveries. It adds to the tension and mystery of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the mix of humor, drama, and unexpected events. The dialogue and character interactions draw the audience in and create suspense.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a good balance between dialogue, action, and description. It keeps the audience engaged and eager to see how the story unfolds.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. It is easy to follow and visually engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct locations and character interactions. It maintains a good pace and transitions smoothly between different settings.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the sense of desperation and confusion surrounding the housing crisis, particularly through the character of the tattooed man who is clearly worried about his living situation. This adds emotional weight to the narrative, highlighting the human impact of the financial turmoil.
  • The dialogue between Danny and the tattooed man is engaging and serves to illustrate the absurdity of the situation, particularly the idea of a landlord using a dog's name on a mortgage. However, the humor could be sharpened to enhance the contrast between the serious subject matter and the absurdity of the circumstances.
  • The transition from the porch to the abandoned house is smooth, but the pacing could be improved. The scene feels slightly rushed, especially when Danny quickly leaves the tattooed man without fully addressing his concerns. This could be an opportunity to deepen the emotional connection and tension.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid, particularly the imagery of the abandoned house and the murky pool with the alligator. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience further, such as sounds or smells that evoke the decay and neglect of the environment.
  • The introduction of the alligator is a strong visual element that adds an unexpected twist, but it could be better integrated into the narrative. As it stands, it feels somewhat abrupt and could be foreshadowed earlier in the scene to enhance its impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider expanding the dialogue between Danny and the tattooed man to explore the man's fears more deeply. This could create a stronger emotional connection and highlight the stakes involved.
  • Enhance the humor in the dialogue by adding more witty exchanges or absurdities that reflect the characters' disbelief about the situation, making the scene both poignant and entertaining.
  • Slow down the pacing slightly to allow for more tension-building moments, particularly in the interaction with the tattooed man. This could involve Danny hesitating or showing more empathy before leaving.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enrich the setting, such as the sounds of the neighborhood or the smell of decay in the abandoned house, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Foreshadow the presence of the alligator earlier in the scene, perhaps through a mention of wildlife in the area or a brief visual cue, to make its appearance feel more organic and impactful.



Scene 22 - Confrontation in the Office
63 INT. SCION OFFICE - DAY 63

We pan past Scion’s office which is now littered with empty
desks and land on the WHITE BOARD showing last quarter’s
returns: -9.3%.

Two ANALYSTS talk to each other from their desks gossiping
while Burry in his office works on his computer.

ANALYST #2
I heard he had a breakdown. He’s
letting the fund tank.

YOUNG ANALYST
A buddy of mine in Manhattan said
Burry left his wife and is moving
to Peru.

A PHONE RINGS at Burry’s ASSISTANT’S DESK.

MIKE'S ASSISTANT
(answers the phone) )
Scion. Dr. Burry's office.
...He would prefer you email
him...I sit twenty feet away and I
email him--

The FRONT DOOR opens.

Lawrence Fields and MARTIN BLAINE (45) of Metro Capital
enter. 2 thousand dollar sport coats and polo shirts.

They stride right for Mike's office. MIKE'S ASSISTANT starts
to email Burry furiously, gives up, stands.

MIKE'S ASSISTANT (CONT'D)
(loudly)
Mr. Fields. Mr. Blaine. Hello.

They enter Mike's office, shut the door.

YOUNG ANALYST
Was that Lawrence Fields? Holy
shit.


64 INT. SCION OFFICES - MIKE'S OFFICE - DAY 64

Lawrence sits. Martin stands. They're angry. Yet, Mike, in T-
shirt, shirts with no shoes, doesn't seem to even register
there's any emotion here at all.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 49.


LAWRENCE FIELDS
Your big mortgage bet concerns us.
We have no confidence in your
ability to identify macroeconomic
trends.

MIKE
You flew here to tell me that? Why?
I mean, anyone can see there's a
real estate bubble.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
Actually, no one can see a
bubble... that's what makes it a
bubble.

MIKE
That's dumb, Lawrence. There are
always markers. Mortgage fraud.
It's quintupled since 2000. Average
take home pay is flat yet home
prices are soaring. That means the
homes are debt not assets.

MARTIN BLAINE
So, Mike Burry of San Jose, a guy
who gets his hair cut at Super Cuts
and doesn’t wear shoes, knows more
than Alan Greenspan and Hank
Paulson?

MIKE
Dr. Mike Burry. And, yes. He does.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
Are you being sarcastic with us,
Michael?

MIKE
I don't know how to be sarcastic. I
don't know how to be funny. I don't
know how to work people. I know how
to read numbers.

Okay, let's talk numbers. Lawrence changes tack.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
How big's your short position?
Right now?

MIKE
It's 1.3 billion.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 50.


LAWRENCE FIELDS
And the premiums?

MIKE
We pay roughly 80 to 90 million
every year.
(they wince)
I know it's high but I was the
first one to do this trade.
It will pay. Watch. I may have been
early, but I'm not wrong.

MARTIN BLAINE
It's the same thing!

Lawrence raises a finger to ask his partner for restraint.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
You're managing, what, a fund of
555 million?
(Mike nods)
In 6 years it'll all be gone. On
one bet.

MIKE
Second quarter of 07’ the
adjustable rates will kick in and
defaults will sky rocket.

MARTIN BLAINE
Says you.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
How much is eligible for withdrawal
before they do, say in the next two
quarters?
(then)
If your investors panic.

MIKE
It's 302 million.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
My God, Michael.

MIKE
No one will pull out! It'd be
suicide! Yeah, I'm down 17 percent
for the year, but if they trust me--

MARTIN BLAINE
No one trusts you.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 51.


MIKE
I’ve written several emails to the
investors letting them know second
quarter of 07’ is when our position
on housing shows returns. I've been
very clear.

He sounds like a crazy man defending himself to a tree.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
There will be redemptions.

MIKE
Well, that would be really stupid.
(angry)
If the fund's capital drops too
much, the swaps contracts are
voided. And the banks get to keep
the collateral!

MARTIN BLAINE
What?

They didn't know this, and it seals the deal.

LAWRENCE FIELDS
Give us our money back.

CLOSE ON:

BUMPERSTICKER: “Pricing gets traffic, staging gets offers.”

The sticker's on a brand new...
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a tense meeting at Scion's nearly empty office, Mike Burry defends his significant mortgage bet against skeptical investors Lawrence Fields and Martin Blaine from Metro Capital. Despite Burry's confidence in identifying a housing bubble, Fields and Blaine express doubts about his ability to predict economic trends and warn of potential investor panic. The confrontation escalates as they demand their money back, leaving Burry in a precarious position amidst the backdrop of financial turmoil.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Clear exposition of financial concepts
  • Strong performances from actors
Weaknesses
  • Lack of emotional depth
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, intense, and crucial for the plot development. It effectively showcases the conflict between the characters and the high stakes involved in the investment decisions.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around the financial investment strategy and the clash of opinions between the characters, which is crucial for setting up the main conflict of the story.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene through the confrontation between the characters and the revelation of the risks and consequences of the investment decisions.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on the financial world, with characters engaging in detailed discussions about investment strategies and market trends. The dialogue feels authentic and realistic, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and conflicting viewpoints that drive the scene forward and add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 8

While there is no significant character change in this scene, the confrontation and disagreement between the characters reveal more about their personalities and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to defend his investment strategy and prove his knowledge and expertise in the face of skepticism and criticism from his colleagues.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to convince his investors to trust him and not withdraw their funds from his fund, despite the current losses.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters is intense and drives the scene, highlighting the high stakes and risks involved in the investment strategy.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing skepticism and criticism from his colleagues, adding to the tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes involved in the investment strategy and the potential consequences for the characters and their investors add tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing the risks and consequences of the investment decisions, setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the financial discussions and the protagonist's bold investment strategy.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between traditional financial wisdom and the protagonist's unconventional approach to investing. The characters debate the existence of a real estate bubble and the risks involved in the protagonist's investment strategy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of anxiety and tension, but the emotional impact is not as pronounced as the intellectual engagement with the financial concepts and conflicts.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, intense, and reveals the characters' motivations and beliefs, adding to the tension and conflict in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, intense dialogue, and complex financial discussions that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged in the financial discussions and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy financial drama, with clear character motivations and conflicts driving the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Mike Burry and the representatives from Metro Capital, showcasing Burry's unwavering confidence in his analysis despite the skepticism of others. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext; while Burry's passion is clear, the stakes could be heightened by incorporating more emotional weight into his responses. For instance, instead of merely stating facts, Burry could express personal stakes or fears regarding the potential fallout of his predictions.
  • The characterization of Lawrence Fields and Martin Blaine comes across as somewhat one-dimensional. They serve primarily as antagonists to Burry's character, but adding layers to their motivations could enhance the conflict. For example, exploring their own fears about the market or their personal investments could create a more nuanced dynamic.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the dialogue exchanges. While the rapid-fire back-and-forth can create tension, it may also lead to confusion for the audience. Slowing down certain exchanges to allow for reactions or pauses could enhance the emotional impact and give viewers time to absorb the gravity of the situation.
  • The visual elements of the scene are somewhat lacking. While the dialogue is strong, the setting of the Scion office could be more vividly described to reflect the tension and stakes of the conversation. For instance, incorporating details about the office's atmosphere, such as the clutter of papers or the dim lighting, could enhance the mood and reflect Burry's mental state.
  • The use of the bumper sticker at the end feels somewhat disconnected from the preceding dialogue. While it serves as a metaphor, it may come off as a forced attempt at humor or commentary. A more organic integration of this idea into the dialogue or a visual motif throughout the scene could strengthen its relevance.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional depth to Burry's character by incorporating personal stakes or fears related to his predictions. This could make his defense more relatable and impactful.
  • Develop Lawrence and Martin's characters further by exploring their motivations and fears regarding the market. This could create a more complex antagonist dynamic and enhance the conflict.
  • Slow down the pacing of the dialogue exchanges to allow for more emotional weight and reactions. This could help the audience better grasp the stakes involved.
  • Enhance the visual description of the Scion office to reflect the tension and atmosphere of the scene. Consider using sensory details to immerse the audience in the setting.
  • Integrate the bumper sticker's message more organically into the dialogue or visual motifs throughout the scene to strengthen its relevance and connection to the characters' discussions.



Scene 23 - Navigating Opportunity in a Downturn
65 INT. MERCEDES SUV - UPSCALE SUBDIVISION - DAY 65

Mark gets a house tour from a wealthy REAL ESTATE AGENT.

MUSIC: A dreamy samba like SO NICE by BEBEL GILBERTO

REAL ESTATE AGENT
The market's in an itsy-bitsy
little gully right now. It's like
everybody said, "Okay, that was
crazy. Let's all just slow down."

A YOUNGER AGENT sits in the back between Danny and Porter.

Mark’s engrossed by the upper-middle-class world out the
window; Every driveway has a new SUV, or odd Prius. Every
garage has a Winnebago, jet ski, speed boat. Complicated
riding mowers. Trampolines. Plundered Ebay and Amazon boxes.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 52.


And, yet, there are For Sale signs everywhere.


66 EXT. TRACT MANSION - DAY 66

An attractive brick house, exhaustively landscaped. In fact,
the harried HOMEOWNER is now edging his lawn.

REAL ESTATE AGENT (O.S.)
I sold it the year it was built for
350.


67 I/E. MERCEDES SUV - DAY 67

The SUV has stopped at a discreet distance.

REAL ESTATE AGENT
Two years later for 480. Then...585
maybe... only 18 months later. This
couple bought it last year for 650,
he'd let it go for that.

He spots her. Come show it!

She waves back. Not today!

REAL ESTATE AGENT (CONT'D)
It'll break his heart, but he'll
let it go.

MARK
Why's he selling?

REAL ESTATE AGENT
Neither one's working right now.

YOUNGER AGENT
Marlene, you'd say they're
motivated, right?

REAL ESTATE AGENT
As much as one can be in this
neighborhood.


68 I/E. SUV - TRAVELLING - DAY 68

SHOTS of the SUV driving them past big houses for sale.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 53.


REAL ESTATE AGENT
House on the left might be
motivated...That is another quasi-
motivated seller...They're probably
teensy-weensy bit motivated...In
her case I'd say possibly almost
motivated.

Danny and Porter exchange a look. The market's in trouble.

MARK
A lot of homeowners seem pretty
motivated.

REAL ESTATE AGENT
It's the gully. That's all. Just
nerves.
(faces Mark)
So... where are we?

MARK
Let me talk to my wife.

YOUNGER AGENT
This market won't last.

MARK
Actually, can I talk with a
mortgage broker? Anyone you like?

69 OMIT 69
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary Mark tours upscale homes with a real estate agent and a younger agent, who discuss the current downturn in the housing market and the motivations of sellers under financial pressure. As they drive through a neighborhood filled with luxurious homes and For Sale signs, Mark expresses curiosity about the market and indicates his interest in consulting a mortgage broker, reflecting his cautious approach to potential opportunities amidst the uncertainty.
Strengths
  • Satirical commentary on the real estate market
  • Engaging dialogue and interactions between characters
  • Insightful observations on market instability
Weaknesses
  • Minimal character development
  • Subtle conflict resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines drama and comedy to provide a reflective and satirical commentary on the real estate market. It sets a tone of observation and critique while maintaining a neutral sentiment towards the events unfolding.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the real estate market through the characters' interactions and observations is engaging and thought-provoking. It provides insight into the motivations of homeowners and the impact of market fluctuations on their decisions.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the real estate tour and the discussions about motivated sellers in an unstable market. It sets up potential conflicts and developments related to the housing industry, adding depth to the overall narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the real estate market, blending humor with social commentary. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene are well-developed and distinct, each contributing to the overall commentary on the real estate market. Their interactions and reactions reveal their personalities and motivations, adding layers to the story.

Character Changes: 6

There is minimal character change in the scene, as the focus is more on establishing the personalities and motivations of the characters within the context of the real estate market. However, the scene sets up potential growth and development for the characters in future events.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to assess the situation and make a decision about potentially buying a house in the upscale subdivision. This reflects his desire for financial security and status.

External Goal: 7

Mark's external goal is to gather information about the housing market and potentially speak with a mortgage broker. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the real estate market.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is subtle, revolving around the underlying tensions in the real estate market and the motivations of homeowners. While there is no overt conflict, the scene sets up potential conflicts and developments for future events.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty about the protagonist's decision, adding depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are moderate, focusing on the motivations of homeowners and the instability of the real estate market. While there are no immediate high-stakes situations, the scene hints at potential risks and consequences for the characters involved.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by providing insights into the real estate market and setting up potential conflicts and developments related to the housing industry. It adds depth to the overall narrative and sets the stage for future events.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the housing market situation and the characters' reactions to it.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between the appearance of wealth and the underlying financial instability. This challenges Mark's beliefs about the value of material possessions and the reality of financial security.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, eliciting reflection and critical thinking about the real estate market and the motivations of homeowners. It prompts the audience to consider the implications of market instability and individual decisions.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is engaging and realistic, capturing the essence of the characters and their perspectives on the real estate market. It effectively conveys the satirical tone and critical observations present throughout the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, detailed descriptions, and social commentary that keeps the audience interested in the characters' decisions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue with action, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' decision-making process.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a dialogue-heavy scene in a screenplay, with clear character cues and scene descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a real estate market exploration in a screenplay, with a clear progression of events and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the contrast between the affluent lifestyle of the homeowners and the underlying financial distress indicated by the For Sale signs. This juxtaposition serves to highlight the irony of the housing market's situation, which is a central theme of the screenplay.
  • The dialogue from the real estate agent is somewhat clichéd and lacks depth. Phrases like 'itsy-bitsy little gully' and 'teensy-weensy bit motivated' come off as overly simplistic and could benefit from more nuanced language that reflects the gravity of the situation. This would enhance the realism and emotional weight of the scene.
  • Mark's character is portrayed as observant and contemplative, but his motivations and internal conflict could be more explicitly conveyed. Adding a moment of introspection or a line that reveals his thoughts about the market's state would deepen his character and make the audience more invested in his journey.
  • The use of music, while setting a dreamy tone, may not align with the underlying tension of the scene. A more somber or ironic musical choice could better reflect the contrast between the upbeat samba and the serious implications of the housing market's decline.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit slow, particularly in the dialogue exchanges. Tightening the dialogue and reducing repetitive phrases could maintain the audience's engagement and enhance the urgency of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Revise the real estate agent's dialogue to incorporate more sophisticated language that reflects the complexities of the housing market, avoiding clichés.
  • Include a moment where Mark reflects on the implications of the For Sale signs and the homeowners' situations, providing insight into his character and motivations.
  • Consider changing the music to something that contrasts with the visuals, perhaps a more somber or ironic piece that underscores the tension of the housing crisis.
  • Tighten the dialogue to eliminate redundancy and maintain a brisker pace, ensuring that each line adds value to the scene.
  • Add visual elements that emphasize the contrast between the opulence of the homes and the signs of financial distress, such as close-ups of the For Sale signs juxtaposed with the luxurious features of the houses.



Scene 24 - Lending Laughter: A Casual Chat on Risky Mortgages
70 INT. HOTEL BAR - SOUTH BEACH - DAY 70

BLACK
Bitch better like me, I sent her to
Cabo.

The bar's empty save Mark, Danny and Porter sitting with two
overly-groomed MORTGAGE BROKERS -- their ties match their
shirts: the hip one's in BLACK; his friend, MAROON.

The guy in Maroon has Porter's business card.

MAROON
Is Morgan Stanley recruiting us?

PORTER
The bank owns our hedge fund but
we're not really part of it. We
invest in financial service
companies.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 53A.

PORTER (CONT'D)
We're here trying to understand
the residential mortgage business.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 54.


The brokers just nod, glad to be part of the conversation.

MARK
How many loans do you write each
month?

BLACK
It's about 60.

Maroon nods. Me, too. Almost.

MARK
What was it four years ago?

BLACK
Ten. Maybe 15.

MAROON
I was a bartender.

DANNY
How many are adjustable rate
mortgages?

BLACK
Most. Ninety percent. The bonuses
on those sky rocketed a few years
ago. Adjustable is our bread and
honey.

MARK
These are people buying a primary
residence?

BLACK
No, they're all cash-out refi's, or
property to flip. A shitload of
condos. A few primaries.

DANNY
Do mortgage applicants ever get
turned down?

They laugh.

BLACK
Dude, if they get rejected I suck
at my job.

DANNY
Even if they have no money?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 55.


MAROON
Well, my firm offers NINJA loans.
No Income. No Job. I just leave the
income section blank if I want,
corporate doesn't care. And the
people just want a house. So they
go with the flow.

BLACK
We call those loans “Dorothys”
cause they’re magic. No credit, no
income, no problem: just tap your
shoes together three times and say
“There’s nothing like owning a
home.”

MARK
Your companies don't verify?

BLACK
If I write a loan on Friday
afternoon, the big banks buy it by
Monday lunch.

MAROON
Same here.

MARK
Can you two hold on a second?
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a South Beach hotel bar, Mark, Danny, and Porter engage with mortgage brokers Black and Maroon about the current mortgage industry. They discuss the rise of adjustable-rate mortgages and risky lending practices, including NINJA loans, revealing the brokers' confidence in securing loans without proper verification. The conversation is casual and humorous, highlighting the ethical implications of their practices while contrasting the upscale setting with the serious nature of their discussion.
Strengths
  • Informative dialogue
  • Humorous tone
  • Revealing unethical practices
Weaknesses
  • Lack of character growth
  • Limited emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the shady practices of mortgage brokers in a humorous yet informative manner, adding depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exposing the unethical practices of mortgage brokers adds depth to the narrative and highlights the financial system's flaws.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as the brokers reveal their practices, adding a layer of complexity to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the financial industry, shedding light on unethical lending practices and the consequences of greed. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and provide insight into the complexities of the mortgage business.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of the mortgage brokers are well-developed, showcasing their casual yet deceitful nature.

Character Changes: 5

While the brokers' revelations shed light on their characters, there is minimal change or growth within the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand the dynamics of the residential mortgage business and potentially make profitable investments. This reflects their deeper desire for financial success and expertise in the field.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather information about the mortgage industry and potentially make connections with the mortgage brokers present. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the complex world of finance.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict lies in the unethical practices of the brokers and the potential consequences of their actions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and ethical dilemmas challenging the protagonist's beliefs and actions. The audience is unsure of how the protagonist will navigate the complex world of finance and make morally sound decisions.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes are implied through the risky loans and lack of verification, hinting at potential financial repercussions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing the brokers' practices and setting the stage for potential conflicts.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations about the mortgage industry and the characters' questionable actions. The audience is left wondering how the protagonist will navigate the ethical challenges presented.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the ethical dilemma of providing loans to individuals with no income or job verification. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about responsible lending practices and the consequences of predatory financial behavior.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, from amusement at the brokers' casual attitude to concern over their unethical practices.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue effectively conveys the brokers' attitudes and practices, adding depth to their characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the sharp dialogue, intriguing financial discussions, and moral dilemmas presented. The tension between the characters and the ethical conflicts keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of dialogue and narrative description. The rhythm of the conversation keeps the audience engaged and interested in the characters' motivations.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy, character-driven scene in a financial setting. The pacing and rhythm of the dialogue contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The dialogue effectively captures the casual yet alarming tone of the mortgage brokers, showcasing their flippant attitude towards risky lending practices. However, the humor can come off as too light-hearted given the serious implications of their actions, which may undermine the gravity of the situation.
  • The characters of Black and Maroon are somewhat one-dimensional, primarily serving as mouthpieces for exposition rather than fully fleshed-out individuals. Adding more depth to their personalities or motivations could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The scene lacks a strong emotional anchor. While the dialogue is informative, it would benefit from moments that reveal how Mark, Danny, and Porter feel about the brokers' cavalier attitudes. This could create a more engaging contrast between the brokers' nonchalance and the protagonists' growing concern.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The initial banter is engaging, but as the conversation progresses, it becomes more expository. Balancing the humor with tension could maintain the audience's interest and heighten the stakes.
  • The setting of the hotel bar is underutilized. While it establishes a casual atmosphere, it could be leveraged further to reflect the characters' emotional states or the absurdity of the situation. For example, incorporating visual elements like the bar's decor or the ambiance could enhance the scene's mood.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Mark visibly reacts to the brokers' comments, showcasing his internal conflict and concern about the implications of their practices. This could help ground the scene emotionally.
  • Introduce a brief backstory or personal anecdote from either Black or Maroon that illustrates their motivations for working in such a risky industry. This could add depth and complexity to their characters.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements that reflect the tension of the scene, such as the contrast between the luxurious bar setting and the grim realities of the mortgage crisis being discussed.
  • Revise the dialogue to include more moments of tension or disagreement between the brokers and Mark, which could create a more dynamic exchange and highlight the stakes involved.
  • Consider ending the scene with a stronger hook or cliffhanger that leaves the audience wanting to know more about the consequences of the brokers' actions, perhaps by hinting at the impending financial crisis.



Scene 25 - Exposing Exploitation
71 INT. HOTEL LOBBY - SECONDS LATER 71

Eyeing the brokers, Mark whispers with Porter and Danny.

MARK
I don't get it. Why are they
confessing?

DANNY
That's not confessing.

PORTER
They're bragging.


72 INT. HOTEL BAR - DAY 72

Mark takes an ottoman right in front of the brokers.

MARK
Do customers ever know what they're
buying?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 56.


MAROON
I focus my business on immigrants.
Once you tell them they’re getting
a home they sign where you tell
them to sign, don't ask questions,
don't really understand the rates.

Mark starts to say something, then turns to Black.

MARK
You target immigrants, too?

MAROON
Ha! Their credit isn't bad enough
for him!

BLACK
I'm a yield guy. I make 2,000 on
fixed-rate prime loans. I can make
10,000 on a subprime adjustable.
Trust me, I would not be driving a
Hummer without Strippers. Nobody on
the pole has good credit. And
they're all cash rich.

Porter and Danny watch Mark consider punching this punk. The
last thing they expect is...

MARK
Can you introduce us?


73 INT. ALCOVE - VIP ROOM - STRIP CLUB - NIGHT 73

MUSIC: A sexy pop song like SEXYBACK by JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

DANCER
I always get option-pay
adjustables. I'm a private
contractor. I need flexibility.

A DANCER does rote gyrations. Mark’s indifferent to the lap
dance, unashamed, occupied by his agenda.

MARK
You tell the mortgage company what
you do?

DANCER
I write therapist.
(and then)
You can touch me.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 57.


MARK
Always?

DANCER
Only in the VIP.

MARK
No, you said you always do
adjustables. You have more than one
loan on a property?

DANCER
Everybody does. At least down here.
That way you only put down like 5
percent.

MARK
But prices have leveled off.

DANCER
Yeah, there's a gully.

MARK
Can you stop moving? I'll still pay
you.

She peeks out of the alcove, sees a BURLY MAN WITH A HARD
FACE and keeps dancing.

DANCER
Sorry, (mouthing it) we're not
alone.

MARK
Okay, look, if home prices don't
rise you won't be able to
refinance. You'll be stuck with
whatever your monthly payment jumps
to after the teaser rate expires.
Plus any payments you missed. Plus
interest on those payments! Your
monthly could go up 200 or 300
percent!

DANCER
Jamie says I can always refinance.

MARK
He's lying. Actually, in this
particular case, Jamie's probably
just wrong.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 57A.


DANCER
Two hundred percent? On all my
loans?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 58.


MARK
What do you mean all my loans?
We're talking about two loans on
one house, right?

She stops and gives him a look.

DANCER
I have five houses. And a condo.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense hotel lobby and bar, Mark confronts brokers Maroon and Black about their unethical financial practices, particularly targeting immigrants and profiting from subprime loans. He seeks to understand their tactics while expressing concern for a dancer at a strip club, who reveals her precarious financial situation with multiple loans and properties. Despite Mark's warnings about the risks of refinancing, the dancer remains skeptical, highlighting the unresolved conflict of the scene.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • High-stakes conflict
  • Relevant theme exploration
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Some dialogue may be too technical for general audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the high-stakes nature of subprime lending and the potential financial risks faced by individuals. It also showcases Mark's determination to uncover the truth behind the brokers' practices.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the predatory practices of mortgage brokers targeting vulnerable populations is compelling and relevant. It adds depth to the narrative and raises important ethical questions.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Mark investigates the brokers' practices, adding layers to the overall story. It sets up potential conflicts and challenges for the characters to navigate.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the financial world by using unconventional settings and characters to explore complex financial concepts. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, adding depth to the characters' actions.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Mark, are well-developed and showcase distinct personalities. Their interactions reveal their motivations and values, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Mark's character undergoes a subtle change as he delves deeper into the investigation, showcasing his determination and concern for others. The brokers' revelations may also impact his perspective.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover the unethical practices of the brokers and educate the dancer on the risks of adjustable rate mortgages. This reflects his desire to expose corruption and protect vulnerable individuals from financial exploitation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to gain information from the brokers and educate the dancer on the risks of adjustable rate mortgages. This reflects his immediate challenge of navigating the world of high-stakes finance and protecting others from financial harm.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, as Mark confronts the mortgage brokers about their practices. The tension and stakes are high, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing off against unethical brokers and challenging the dancer's beliefs about her financial situation.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as Mark uncovers the risks and consequences of subprime lending, potentially impacting the lives of vulnerable individuals. The financial implications add urgency to the investigation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing the unethical practices of the mortgage brokers and setting up potential conflicts and challenges for the characters. It adds depth to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turns in the dialogue and the protagonist's surprising actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the brokers' unethical business practices and the protagonist's moral compass. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about integrity and the value of honesty in financial dealings.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of concern and curiosity, as the audience is drawn into the investigation of the brokers' practices. It may not elicit strong emotional reactions but keeps the audience engaged.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and informative, driving the scene forward and revealing crucial information about the brokers' practices. It effectively conveys the tension and stakes involved.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high-stakes conflict, sharp dialogue, and unexpected twists that keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension and momentum, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' actions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character motivations and a progression of tension and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the absurdity and moral ambiguity of the mortgage industry through the dialogue between Mark and the brokers. However, the transition from the hotel lobby to the strip club feels abrupt and could benefit from a smoother narrative flow to maintain the audience's engagement.
  • Mark's character is well-established as someone who is both incredulous and determined to uncover the truth about the mortgage practices. However, his sudden willingness to engage with the brokers and later the dancer could use more internal conflict or hesitation to make his motivations clearer.
  • The dialogue is sharp and reflects the characters' personalities, but some lines, particularly from the brokers, come off as overly exaggerated. This could detract from the realism of the scene. Balancing humor with the serious implications of their actions would enhance the impact.
  • The dancer's dialogue introduces an interesting perspective on the mortgage crisis, but her character feels underdeveloped. Providing her with a more distinct personality or backstory could deepen the audience's connection to her plight and the broader themes of the story.
  • The pacing of the scene shifts dramatically between the hotel bar and the strip club, which may confuse the audience. A clearer thematic or narrative link between these two settings would help unify the scene and reinforce its purpose within the larger story.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief transition or a line of dialogue that connects Mark's decision to approach the brokers with his subsequent actions in the strip club, enhancing the narrative flow.
  • Introduce more internal conflict for Mark as he navigates these morally ambiguous situations, perhaps through a moment of reflection or hesitation before he engages with the brokers and the dancer.
  • Revise some of the brokers' dialogue to strike a balance between humor and realism, ensuring that their exaggerated claims do not undermine the serious nature of the mortgage crisis.
  • Develop the dancer's character further by giving her a unique perspective or backstory that highlights the impact of the mortgage crisis on her life, making her more relatable to the audience.
  • Ensure that the pacing between the hotel bar and the strip club is consistent, possibly by incorporating a brief moment of reflection or commentary from Mark that ties the two locations together thematically.



Scene 26 - Navigating Financial Turbulence
74 INT. TICKETING AREA - MIAMI AIRPORT - DAY 74

Full of purpose, Mark strides ahead of Porter and Danny.

MARK
Get the mortgage exposure and
leverage ratio of every bulge
bracket i-bank--
(into his phone)
--Hey, there's a bubble.

VINNY (O.S.)
How do you know?

MARK
Trust me. Call Vennett. Buy 50
million in swaps on the MBS...

Danny holds out the offering doc.

MARK (CONT'D)
...Garabaldi IV. Triple B.

VINNY (O.S.)
You sure, Mark?

MARK
Yeah. It's time to call bullshit.

VINNY (O.S.)
Bullshit on what?

MARK
Everything.


75 INT. GYM - DAY 75

Jared Vennett is running on a treadmill when the phone rings.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 59.


JARED
(on his cell)
Is this America's angriest hedge
fund?

VINNY (O.S.)
How are you, JARED?

Jared steps off the treadmill to take the call.

JARED
Starting to believe my own hype.

VINNY (O.S.)
I've got one last question.


76 INT. TRADING DESK - FRONTPOINT OFFICE - DAY 76

Vinny on the phone.

VINNY
How are you fucking us?

Jared cackles.

VINNY (CONT'D)
I'm serious. We'll buy your swaps.
But only if you say how you're
fucking us.

JARED (O.S.)
Hold on.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense scene set in Miami Airport, Mark confidently directs his colleagues, Porter and Danny, to gather financial data, convinced a bubble is forming in the market. He makes a critical call to Vinny, discussing a $50 million investment in low-rated mortgage-backed securities, Garabaldi IV. Meanwhile, at the gym, Jared Vennett humorously reflects on his rising status in the hedge fund world during a call with Vinny, who seeks clarity on their financial strategies. The scene highlights the urgent and uncertain atmosphere surrounding their investment decisions, leaving the audience in suspense about the potential risks.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • High stakes
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with intense dialogue and a sense of urgency that drives the plot forward. The confrontation between Mark and Jared adds depth to the story and sets up future conflicts.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Mark taking a stand against the financial system is compelling and drives the narrative forward. The scene effectively sets up future conflicts and establishes the stakes for the characters.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene, with Mark making a crucial decision that will impact the story's direction. The confrontation with Jared Vennett adds layers of complexity and sets up future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on the financial industry and explores themes of truth and deception in a unique way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with Mark's determination and Jared's cunning nature shining through in their interactions. The scene allows for character growth and reveals their motivations.

Character Changes: 8

Mark undergoes a significant change in this scene, transitioning from contemplation to action as he decides to challenge the financial system. This sets the stage for his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to challenge the status quo and call out the flaws in the financial system. This reflects his desire for truth and transparency in an industry filled with deception and corruption.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to make profitable financial decisions by buying swaps on the MBS. This reflects his immediate challenge of navigating the complex world of high finance and making risky investments.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with Mark and Jared engaging in a battle of wits and motivations. The tension between the characters drives the narrative forward and sets up future confrontations.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing moral dilemmas, conflicting interests, and challenging decisions. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding to the tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as Mark's decision to confront Jared Vennett could have far-reaching consequences for the characters and the narrative. The tension and urgency add to the high stakes.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward significantly, with Mark's decision to take action against the financial system leading to new conflicts and developments. It sets the stage for future plot twists.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting motivations, unexpected plot twists, and moral ambiguity. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the characters' decisions will impact the story.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's belief in exposing the truth and challenging the system, contrasted with the other characters' willingness to profit from unethical practices. This challenges the protagonist's values and integrity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to anticipation, as the characters navigate a high-stakes situation. The confrontational dialogue adds depth to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and impactful, driving the scene's intensity and highlighting the characters' conflicting motivations. The exchanges between Mark and Jared are particularly engaging.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high-stakes financial decisions, sharp dialogue, and moral dilemmas faced by the characters. The fast-paced nature of the scene keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension, creating suspense, and maintaining the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences keeps the scene engaging and dynamic.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre by setting up conflicts, developing character motivations, and advancing the plot. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and intrigue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the urgency and tension of the financial crisis, showcasing Mark's assertive leadership style as he directs his colleagues. However, the transition between locations (from the airport to the gym and then to the trading desk) feels abrupt and could benefit from smoother transitions to maintain narrative flow.
  • Mark's dialogue is strong and conveys his confidence, but it could be enhanced by adding more emotional depth or internal conflict. As he calls for significant financial moves, exploring his motivations or fears could create a more relatable character.
  • The use of off-screen dialogue (VINNY and JARED) is effective in creating a sense of distance and urgency, but it may lead to confusion for viewers unfamiliar with the characters. Providing brief context or visual cues could help clarify who is speaking and their relationship to Mark.
  • The humor in Jared's line about being 'America's angriest hedge fund' adds a light touch to an otherwise tense scene, but it may feel out of place given the gravity of the situation. Balancing humor with the seriousness of the financial crisis is crucial to maintain the scene's tone.
  • The scene ends on a cliffhanger with Vinny's question about how they are being 'fucked,' which is engaging but could benefit from a stronger lead-in to the next scene. Ensuring that the stakes are clear will help maintain viewer interest.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Mark before he makes the call to buy swaps, allowing the audience to see his internal struggle or confidence in his decision.
  • Enhance the transitions between locations by incorporating visual elements or dialogue that connect the scenes more fluidly, ensuring the audience can follow the narrative without confusion.
  • Clarify the relationships between characters through visual cues or brief dialogue tags, especially for off-screen characters, to help the audience understand the dynamics at play.
  • Maintain the humor but ensure it aligns with the overall tone of the scene. Perhaps have Jared's humor serve as a coping mechanism in the face of the impending crisis, adding depth to his character.
  • Strengthen the cliffhanger by emphasizing the stakes involved in the financial decisions being made, perhaps by showing the immediate consequences of Mark's actions or the reactions of his colleagues.



Scene 27 - Negotiations and Paranoia
77 INT. GYM - DAY 77

Jared steps away from a few guys working out.

JARED
Swaps are a dark market. That means
I set the price. Whatever price I
want. When you come back for your
pay day I’ll rip your eyes out and
make a fortune. The good news for
you is you’ll make so much you
won’t care. Plus your boss has a
big mouth and I need people to know
about this trade so my superiors
don’t think it’s an esoteric waste
of time and I can keep selling it.

Static.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 59A.


VINNY (O.S.)
Thank you.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 60.


JARED
Anytime.
(then)
What's it gonna be? You want me to
make you a market?

VINNY (O.S.)
Yeah. We'll take 50 million--

He disconnects, punches air. His casual pose evaporates.


78 OMIT 78


A79 EXT. WIDE SHOT OF BOULDER COLORADO - DAY A79

Can be stock footage showing mountains and the town of
Boulder. We hear a phone ringing.


B79 INT. BEN RICKERT’S HOME OFFICE - BOULDER COLORADO - DAY B79

APRIL 2006

2 years 4 months until the collapse

CU on a cell phone ringing on a desk. A hand fumbles for it
and answers.

BEN
Hello?

It’s Ben Rickert. His office has three computer screens
showing the Japanese markets, the Dow, Nasdaq, weather
satellite images and tidal charts.

JAMIE (V.O.)
Hey Ben. It’s Jamie-

BEN
I told you not to call this number.

He hangs up. After a beat a satellite phone rings. Ben
answers.

BEN (CONT’D)
Hey.

JAMIE (V.O.)
I hate when you do that. No one’s
listening to your calls Ben. You’re
a retired trader.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 60A.


BEN
Really? So the NSA has a 52 billion
dollar budget and the ability to
monitor 10’s of millions of calls a
second but they’re not using it?

JAMIE
Okay fine. We’ll call this number
and I’ll stop saying “Ben Rickert”
and “dirty bomb” in the same
conversation.

BEN
Seriously don’t do that. That’s not
funny.

CHARLIE (V.O.)
Did you read what we sent you?!
It’s Charlie! I’m here too!

BEN
Hey guys. Yeah, I checked out what
you sent me... Hold on...

Ben picks up a bootleg copy of Jared’s PRESENTATION.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a gym, Jared confidently discusses his control over the dark market of swaps with Vinny, hinting at a potential 50 million deal. The scene transitions to Ben Rickert's home office in Boulder, where he expresses skepticism about the security of his communications during a call with Jamie and Charlie. The tension between Jared's assertive market manipulation and Ben's concerns about privacy highlights the conflicting dynamics of the trading world.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Building suspense
  • Introduction of new character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with intense dialogue and a sense of impending conflict. It effectively sets up the tension surrounding the financial dealings and introduces a new character with a unique perspective.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the dark market of swaps and the paranoia surrounding surveillance adds depth to the financial thriller genre. The introduction of Ben Rickert provides a new perspective on the events unfolding.

Plot: 8.5

The plot thickens with the introduction of the secretive world of swaps and the tension between characters. The scene sets up future conflicts and developments in the story.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a unique and fresh approach to the portrayal of dark market trades, with authentic and intense character actions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined, with Jared showcasing his manipulative nature and Ben Rickert adding a layer of complexity with his paranoid personality. The scene effectively introduces new character dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the introduction of Ben Rickert hints at potential developments in his arc. The scene sets the stage for future character growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Jared's internal goal in this scene is to assert his dominance and control over the market trade. This reflects his need for power and recognition in the underground world he operates in.

External Goal: 7

Jared's external goal is to establish himself as a key player in the market trade and ensure his superiors recognize the value of his work.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is palpable, with tensions rising between characters and the looming threat of manipulation and surveillance. The stakes are high, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and hidden agendas creating uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with characters engaging in secretive financial dealings and facing the threat of surveillance. The tension and risks involved elevate the intensity of the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new elements of the financial world and setting up future conflicts. It adds layers to the narrative and builds anticipation for what's to come.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics and the characters' hidden agendas, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the morality of engaging in dark market trades and the consequences of such actions. It challenges Jared's beliefs and values in the underground world he operates in.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of tension and unease, keeping the audience engaged with the characters' high-stakes interactions. The emotional impact adds depth to the storytelling.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is intense and confrontational, driving the scene forward with a sense of urgency. It effectively conveys the high-stakes nature of the financial world.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense dialogue, mysterious atmosphere, and the characters' conflicting goals and motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' actions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively conveying the intensity and secrecy of the setting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively sets up the tense atmosphere and establishes the characters' goals and conflicts.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and high stakes of the financial world, particularly through Jared's confident and somewhat menacing dialogue. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext; while Jared's words are bold, they could also hint at his own insecurities or the precariousness of the market, adding depth to his character.
  • The transition from the gym to Ben's home office feels abrupt. While it serves to juxtapose the physicality of the gym with the cerebral nature of trading, a smoother transition could enhance the flow. Consider adding a brief moment that connects the two settings, perhaps a visual or auditory cue that links Jared's aggressive tone to Ben's more cautious demeanor.
  • Jared's dialogue is strong but could be more varied in tone. While he is assertive, incorporating moments of vulnerability or doubt could make him more relatable and complex. This would also create a more dynamic interaction with Vinny, who is currently a passive listener in this exchange.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc. While there is tension, it feels somewhat static. Introducing a moment of conflict or a decision point for Vinny could elevate the stakes and provide a more satisfying narrative progression. For instance, if Vinny hesitates or questions Jared's confidence, it could create a more engaging dynamic.
  • Ben's skepticism about the security of his communications is a strong character trait, but it could be more effectively integrated into the scene. Instead of a straightforward conversation, consider using visual cues or actions that reflect his paranoia, such as glancing around or checking his surroundings, to enhance the tension.
Suggestions
  • Add a visual or auditory transition between the gym and Ben's home office to create a smoother flow between the two settings.
  • Incorporate subtext into Jared's dialogue to reveal more about his character and the pressures he faces in the market.
  • Introduce a moment of conflict or hesitation for Vinny to create a more dynamic interaction with Jared, enhancing the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • Use visual cues or actions to reflect Ben's paranoia about his communications, adding depth to his character and the overall tension of the scene.
  • Consider varying the tone of Jared's dialogue to include moments of vulnerability or doubt, making him a more complex character.



Scene 28 - The Perfect Scam: A Culinary Metaphor for CDOs
79 INT. BROWNFIELD OFFICE - GREENWICH VILLAGE - DAY 79

A brick loft. Jamie and Charlie are gathered around a phone
on speaker. We cut back and forth.

JAMIE
And?

BEN (V.O)
I’ll be honest gentlemen... It
scared the shit out me.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 61.


CHARLIE
So this guy Vennett’s not wrong?

BEN (V.O.)
No... he’s not.

CHARLIE
Yes!

BEN (V.O)
Tell me more about these CDOs... I
feel like I opened the hood of a
car and instead of an engine saw a
monkey on a bike.

Ben holds up a report Jamie and Charlie did on CDOs.

JAMIE
Vennett mentions the CDOs but
they’re way worse than even he
knows. We couldn’t even model them.

CHARLIE
They don’t make any sense! And
they’re a hundred times larger than
the MBS!

BEN (V.O.)
And somehow they’re over 90% AAA
rated. The perfect scam.

FREEZE

JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
I’ll be honest. I don’t love that
these losers are saying I missed
something but the truth is they’re
right. The CDOs were a hundred
times worse than even I imagined.
Let’s go back to Bourdain’s seafood
stew so we’re all on the same page.


A80 INT. KICHEN -- DAY A80

Bourdain stands over the pot of seafood stew.

BOURDAIN
Alright, remember how I said the
CDOs are seafood stew filled with
old fish stamped AAA? Well Jamie
and Charlie found out the CDOs were
even worse than that.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 61A.

BOURDAIN (CONT'D)
Turns out they were filled with
shitty mortgages from different
bonds that didn’t even operate by
the same laws. And there were also
swaps and all kinds of other junk
just thrown in there. Millions and
millions of this garbage... So
instead of just old fish our
seafood stew also has... wolverine
meat in it...

He puts a weird gray meat in.

BOURDAIN (CONT’D)
Possum... skunk... Kimodo dragon
and then a whole lot of stuff the
no one even knows what it is.

Bourdain reaches into a box marked simply MEAT (?) and throws
a bunch in.

BOURDAIN (CONT’D)
And these CDOs were selling and
selling....

Wee pull out and see dozens of pots of stew all around the
kitchen.

BOURDAIN (CONT’D)
Nuts, right?
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In a Greenwich Village loft, Jamie and Charlie discuss the alarming complexities of CDOs with Ben, who expresses his fear about their implications. They reveal that CDOs are more dangerous than initially perceived, with Ben calling them 'the perfect scam.' The scene shifts to Anthony Bourdain in a kitchen, where he uses a seafood stew metaphor to illustrate the chaotic mix of bad mortgages and financial instruments, emphasizing the absurdity of the situation. The tension builds as the characters grapple with the dire realities of the financial crisis.
Strengths
  • Informative dialogue
  • Shocking revelations about CDOs
  • Engaging character reactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Lack of visual variety in the setting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the intricate nature of CDOs and their impact on the financial market. It keeps the audience engaged with its informative yet shocking revelations.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exposing the deceptive nature of CDOs is compelling and well-executed. It adds depth to the storyline and provides valuable insights into the financial world.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on unraveling the truth about CDOs, adding depth to the overall narrative. It moves the story forward by introducing a crucial element of the financial crisis.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and creative approach to explaining financial concepts through metaphorical storytelling. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and grounded in the world of finance.


Character Development

Characters: 7.5

The characters' reactions and interactions contribute to the scene's impact, showcasing their shock and concern as they learn about the severity of the financial scam.

Character Changes: 7

The characters experience a shift in their understanding of the financial market and the risks involved, leading to a change in their perception and actions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to understand the complexity and implications of the CDOs they are discussing. This reflects their desire for knowledge and insight into the financial world, as well as their fear of being outsmarted or left behind in the industry.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to uncover the truth about the CDOs and expose the scam behind them. This reflects their immediate challenge of navigating a corrupt financial system and seeking justice.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene arises from the discovery of the true nature of CDOs, creating tension and uncertainty among the characters as they realize the extent of the financial scam.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the complexity of the financial concepts and the challenge of uncovering the truth about the CDOs. The characters face obstacles in understanding and exposing the scam, creating uncertainty and suspense for the audience.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes in the scene revolve around the revelation of the financial scam and its potential consequences for the characters and the financial market.

Story Forward: 8

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a crucial element of the financial crisis and setting the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' discoveries about the CDOs and the escalating tension as they uncover the truth.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the morality of financial practices and the consequences of greed. The characters are faced with the ethical dilemma of profiting from a system that exploits others, challenging their beliefs about right and wrong.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of concern and intrigue in the audience, as they witness the shocking revelations about CDOs and the impact of the financial scam.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the complexity of CDOs and the characters' reactions to the revelations. It keeps the audience informed and engaged throughout the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, visual descriptions, and the high stakes of uncovering a financial scam. The audience is drawn into the characters' investigation and the suspense of the unfolding mystery.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a balance of dialogue and visual elements to keep the audience engaged and informed.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a dialogue-heavy scene in a screenplay, with clear character cues and transitions between locations. The use of speakerphone adds a dynamic element to the dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy, exposition scene in a financial drama. The back and forth between characters keeps the pacing engaging and informative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses humor and metaphor to explain complex financial concepts, particularly through Bourdain's seafood stew analogy. This approach makes the material more accessible to the audience, which is a strong point.
  • The dialogue between Jamie, Charlie, and Ben is engaging and captures the urgency of their discovery about CDOs. However, the transition between the phone conversation and Bourdain's kitchen could be smoother to maintain narrative flow.
  • The use of a freeze frame with Jared Vennett's voiceover adds a layer of commentary that enhances the scene's depth. However, it might benefit from a more explicit connection to the characters' emotional stakes, as the audience may not fully grasp the gravity of the situation without additional context.
  • Bourdain's character is well-utilized to provide a relatable and entertaining explanation of the financial instruments. However, the scene could explore more of his personality or background to deepen his role and connection to the main characters.
  • The visual imagery of the kitchen filled with various pots of stew is vivid and memorable, but it could be enhanced by incorporating more sensory details (smells, textures) to immerse the audience further in the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection from Jamie and Charlie after Ben's revelation to emphasize their emotional response to the gravity of the situation.
  • Enhance the transition between the phone call and Bourdain's kitchen by using a visual cue or a line of dialogue that connects the two settings more seamlessly.
  • Explore Bourdain's character further by including a personal anecdote or a quip that relates to the financial crisis, which could add depth to his role as a narrator.
  • Incorporate more sensory details in Bourdain's kitchen to create a richer atmosphere, allowing the audience to feel the chaos and absurdity of the situation.
  • Consider using a visual metaphor or graphic overlay during the freeze frame to illustrate the complexity of CDOs, reinforcing the audience's understanding of the financial concepts being discussed.



Scene 29 - The Reluctant Agreement
B80 INT. BROWNFIELD OFFICE - GREENWICH VILLAGE - DAY B80

BEN (V.O.)
I saw the CDOs you want to short.
The’re brilliant. Worthless, total
crap.

CHARLIE
Jamie Shipley, Ladies and
Gentlemen.

JAMIE
I'm good at finding shit. If I can
keep Charlie from trying to sneak
in a little value.

CHARLIE
Sue me, I'm Jewish. We shorted all
double BBs and triple B’s. The risk
is relatively low and the pay off
is 25 to 1.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 61B.


BEN (V.O.)
So why are you calling me? I don’t
do this anymore.

Charlie and Jamie share a careful glance.

CHARLIE
Look, Ben, help us get an ISDA so
we can short this crap. We know you
hate Wall Street but it's not like
you'd be trading, you'd only be
helping us get a place at the
table.

BEN (V.O.)
That’s an ugly table to be seated
at.

JAMIE
The system fucked up in a big, big
way here. And somehow we know
before anyone else.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 62.

JAMIE (CONT'D)
This is a once in a lifetime trade.
Help us make this deal. Come on,
it’ll be fun.

BEN (V.O.)
Oh this won’t be fun.

Sam’s tone is less than definite, he's clearly tempted.

JAMIE
I didn’t mean fun.

BEN (V.O.)
You said fun.

Beat

BEN (V.O.)
Okay, I'll call Deutsche Bank.

Charlie and Jamie high five.

CHARLIE
Thank you. What about Bear? They
have some reprehensible product.

BEN (V.O.)
Okay. Bear will trade with anybody.

Silent air pumps.

JAMIE
How soon can you be out here?

BEN (V.O.)
I don’t know... I haven’t flown
since they put those Chertoff body
scanners in the airports. I’ve
never been a fan of being strip
searched by radiation.
(takes a breath)
I’ll be there Tuesday.

Jamie and Charlie celebrate more.

MUSIC: An popular alternative hip hop song like FEEL GOOD INC
by GORILLAZ plays us into the next scene.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a Greenwich Village office, Ben expresses skepticism about shorting worthless collateralized debt obligations (CDOs) but is persuaded by Charlie and Jamie to help secure an ISDA agreement for their trading strategy. Despite his disdain for Wall Street, Ben ultimately agrees to assist them, leading to a celebratory moment for Charlie and Jamie as they high five in excitement over their risky financial venture.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Engaging character dynamics
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Slightly repetitive banter

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, cynicism, and urgency to engage the audience in the characters' risky financial venture. The dialogue is sharp and entertaining, setting up the plot for future developments.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of shorting CDOs during the financial crisis is innovative and provides a unique perspective on the events leading up to the market collapse. The scene effectively conveys the characters' bold strategy and the risks involved.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the characters' decision to short CDOs and their interactions with Ben Rickert. It sets up the conflict and stakes for the upcoming events, driving the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on the financial thriller genre, with unique character dynamics and a focus on moral ambiguity. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, particularly Jamie, Charlie, and Ben, are well-developed and distinct. Their personalities shine through in their dialogue and actions, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters, particularly Jamie and Charlie, undergo a subtle change in their approach to the financial crisis, shifting from curiosity to determination. Their interactions with Ben Rickert hint at deeper character development to come.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to overcome his reluctance to re-enter the world of trading and take a risk on a potentially lucrative deal. This reflects his desire for financial success and his fear of being drawn back into a world he has tried to leave behind.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to secure an ISDA to short the CDOs and make a profitable trade. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the complex world of Wall Street and taking advantage of a unique opportunity.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the characters grapple with the decision to short CDOs and involve Ben Rickert in their scheme. The tension and stakes are high, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external challenges that test his resolve and ethics. The audience is left wondering how he will navigate the conflicting pressures.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, as the characters risk their reputation, finances, and relationships to profit from the financial crisis. The decision to short CDOs carries significant consequences, adding tension to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing key plot points, establishing character motivations, and setting up the conflict for the next act. It propels the narrative towards the climax of the film.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' shifting motivations and the uncertain outcome of the financial deal. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' moral ambiguity in engaging in risky financial practices. The protagonist struggles with his ethical stance on Wall Street while being tempted by the potential financial gain.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, including amusement, skepticism, and a sense of urgency. The characters' witty banter and bold decisions create a compelling emotional arc for the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, witty, and engaging. It reveals the characters' motivations, conflicts, and relationships while maintaining a humorous and cynical tone that keeps the audience entertained.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, high stakes, and dynamic character interactions. The tension and conflict keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue and action that keeps the story moving forward. The rhythm of the scene adds to the tension and suspense.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear character cues and dialogue formatting. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a financial thriller, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the urgency and excitement of the characters as they navigate the complexities of the financial world. The dialogue is snappy and reflects the characters' personalities well, particularly Charlie's humor and Jamie's determination.
  • However, the scene could benefit from more visual elements to enhance the storytelling. Currently, it relies heavily on dialogue and voiceover, which can make it feel static. Incorporating more action or visual cues that show the characters' environment and their reactions could create a more dynamic scene.
  • The use of voiceover for Ben is effective in conveying his thoughts without needing to show him physically present, but it may create a disconnect for the audience. Consider integrating more direct interactions or visual representations of Ben's character to ground his presence in the scene.
  • The humor in the dialogue, particularly Charlie's quip about being Jewish, could be perceived as insensitive or out of place in the context of the serious financial discussions. While humor can lighten the tone, it should be carefully balanced to avoid alienating the audience.
  • The transition from the previous scene, which features Anthony Bourdain's metaphorical cooking, to this scene feels abrupt. A smoother transition that connects the themes of complexity and chaos in both scenes could enhance the narrative flow.
Suggestions
  • Add visual descriptions of the Brownfield office environment to create a more immersive setting. For example, describe the cluttered desks, financial charts on the walls, or the expressions on the characters' faces as they discuss their plans.
  • Consider including a brief moment of physical action, such as Jamie and Charlie pacing or interacting with their surroundings, to break up the dialogue and add energy to the scene.
  • Introduce a visual representation of Ben's character, such as a quick cut to him in his home office, to reinforce his involvement in the conversation and create a stronger connection with the audience.
  • Reevaluate the humor in Charlie's line about being Jewish to ensure it aligns with the overall tone of the scene and does not detract from the seriousness of the financial crisis being discussed.
  • Create a more seamless transition from the previous scene by incorporating a thematic link, such as a visual metaphor that ties Bourdain's cooking to the financial chaos, perhaps showing the characters reflecting on the 'ingredients' of the financial crisis.



Scene 30 - The Calm Before the Storm
C80 INT. KENNEDY AIRPORT TERMINAL - DAY C80

Ben rides the long airport escalator wearing a flu mask. And
holding a duffle bag.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 62A.


He passes an Asian man also wearing a flu mask, salutes his
comrade-in-fear. The man stares back confused.

At the bottom of the escalator Charlie and Jamie wait with a
sign reading “Ben Rickert”

Ben walks past them with out breaking stride and crumples up
the sign.


D80 EXT. DEUTSCHE BANK - TWO HOURS LATER D80

Establishing


80 INT. LOBBY - DEUTSCHE BANK - DAY 80

Charlie and Jamie sign an ISDA CONTRACT in the lobby.

Ben waits over them. NOAH, 26, Vennett’s assistant takes the
contract.

NOAH
All right. I'll see if I can push
it through.

BEN
Thanks, Noah. And thank Jared for
us.

Charlie and Jamie stand. Noah goes. The boys exchange an
unsure look. What now? Ben gestures to the exit.

JAMIE
You know, just once in my life, I'd
like to see the inside of an
investment bank.

CHARLIE
So that’s it Ben? We’re done?

BEN
That’s it. Between Bear and
Duetsche, you now officially own 12
million dollars of credit default
swaps on the BBB- tranches of
subprime ABS’.

CHARLIE
Somehow I thought it would be more
dramatic.

JAMIE
So what’d we do now?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 62B.


Ben doesn’t break stride.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 63.


BEN
Now we wait for the world to blow
up.

CUT TO:


81 QUOTE COMES UP OVER BLACK: 81

“THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE. BUT NOT UNTIL IT IS DONE WITH
YOU.” -DAVID FOSTER WALLACE, INFINITE JEST

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary Ben arrives at Kennedy Airport in a flu mask, meeting Charlie and Jamie who are eager yet anxious about their investment. At Deutsche Bank, they sign an ISDA contract, marking their acquisition of $12 million in credit default swaps. While Charlie and Jamie seek excitement, Ben reassures them of their successful investment, emphasizing the need to wait for the impending financial crisis. The scene captures a tense yet matter-of-fact atmosphere, culminating in a thought-provoking quote from David Foster Wallace.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Foreshadowing
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and sets up a major plot development, showcasing the characters' determination and the impending financial disaster.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of waiting for a financial crisis to unfold is compelling and drives the plot forward. The scene effectively introduces the high-stakes nature of the characters' actions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene, with the characters making a crucial decision that will impact the story's direction. The scene sets up future conflicts and resolutions.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the financial crisis genre by focusing on the personal motivations and actions of the characters. The dialogue feels authentic and the actions are believable.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities and motivations are well-defined, with each contributing to the tension and uncertainty of the scene. Ben's stoic demeanor and the boys' nervous energy add depth to the interaction.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not a significant character arc in this scene, the characters' decisions and actions foreshadow potential changes in their relationships and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to prepare for the impending financial crisis and to ensure his investments are secure. This reflects his deeper fear of economic collapse and his desire to protect his assets.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to finalize a financial transaction and secure his investments. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the financial world and making strategic decisions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the characters grapple with the decision to invest in risky assets. The tension arises from the uncertainty of the outcome and the potential consequences of their actions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and uncertainty, but not overwhelming to the point of predictability.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the characters' financial investment and the looming crisis create a sense of urgency and importance in the scene. The outcome of their decision will have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major plot development and setting the stage for future conflicts. The characters' decisions have significant implications for the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions of the characters and the uncertain outcome of their financial dealings.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the characters' desire for financial gain and the potential consequences of their actions on the global economy. This challenges the protagonist's values and beliefs about the ethics of financial markets.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of unease and anticipation, drawing the audience into the characters' dilemma. The emotional impact is heightened by the high stakes and the characters' conflicting motivations.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and the gravity of the situation. Ben's final line is particularly impactful and sets the tone for future developments.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, fast-paced action, and sharp dialogue that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest through quick dialogue and action.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a financial thriller genre, with a buildup of tension and a clear resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and absurdity of the financial world, particularly through Ben's flu mask and the crumpled sign, which symbolize both paranoia and the often overlooked human element in high-stakes finance. However, the humor in Ben's interaction with the Asian man could be perceived as insensitive or out of place, potentially detracting from the overall tone.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks emotional depth. While it conveys the necessary information about the ISDA contract and the characters' feelings of uncertainty, it could benefit from more subtext or personal stakes. For instance, exploring Ben's reluctance or Charlie and Jamie's excitement could add layers to their interactions.
  • The pacing feels rushed, particularly in the transition from the airport to Deutsche Bank. The abrupt cut from Ben's arrival to the signing of the contract could be smoothed out with additional context or a brief moment of reflection from the characters, allowing the audience to absorb the significance of the moment.
  • The scene ends rather abruptly with Ben's line about waiting for the world to blow up. While this line is impactful, it could be enhanced by a visual or emotional reaction from Charlie and Jamie, emphasizing their apprehension or excitement about the impending crisis. This would create a stronger emotional resonance and a more satisfying conclusion to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of interaction between Ben and Charlie and Jamie before they sign the contract, allowing for a more personal connection and showcasing their differing attitudes towards the deal.
  • Enhance the dialogue to include more character-driven moments, such as Ben expressing his concerns about the risks involved or Charlie and Jamie sharing their hopes for the investment, which would deepen the audience's investment in their journey.
  • Introduce a visual element that symbolizes the gravity of their decision, such as a close-up of the contract being signed or a shot of the bustling bank lobby, to emphasize the contrast between the mundane setting and the monumental financial implications.
  • Extend the scene slightly to include a moment of reflection after the signing, where the characters discuss their feelings about the deal and the potential fallout, allowing for a more nuanced exploration of their motivations and fears.



Scene 31 - Rising Defaults, Confounding Markets
82 EXT. MIDTOWN - MORGAN STANLEY BUILDING - DAY 82

An electronic scroll on the side of Morgan Stanley reads:

Mortgage Delinquencies Hit New High

January 11, 2007

1 year 7 months until the collapse

We hear snippets of business news audio:

SNIPPETS OF BUSINESS NEWS
Ben Bernanke calls the news a
momentary market fluctuation....
Despite the disappointing housing
news all other market indicators
are very strong....

Mark Baum is running down the street while dialing his phone
and trying to hail a cab.

MARK
Hello! Vinny Daniel please!

A CAB STOPS, he gets in.

MARK (CONT’D)
The Morgan Stanley building. Fast.

VINNY
(feint voice on the cell)
Hello? Mark is that you?

MARK
Vinny! Did you see?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 64.


83 INT. FRONTPOINT PARTNERS OFFICE - DAY 83

Vinny is walking through the FrontPoint offices. Danny,
Porter and the rest of the staff are on the phones.

MARK (V.O.)
Mortgage defaults just went through
the roof! Is anybody jumping off
buildings?

VINNY
Why would they? Subprime mortgage
bond prices are up.

We see emails on Vinny’s screen from Duetsche notifying that
the bond’s value is up. “Garabaldi IV: BBB tranche”

MARK (V.O.)
What?!

Porter turns over his shoulder from his desk.

PORTER
Vennett is asking for more
collateral on our swaps!

MARK (V.O.)
What the hell's going on?!

VINNY
We don't know. But Deutsche is on
the phone demanding payment.

MARK (V.O.)
Somebody call Vennett.
(Porter does so)
Subprime loans go bad... but
subprime bonds get more valuable?!

VINNY
They want another 2 million by
market close.

MARK (V.O.)
What about the rating’s agencies?
Are Moody’s and S&P downgrading
CDOs or mortgage bonds?

VINNY
Nope. They’re all still triple A.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 64A.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense scene set in Midtown New York City, Mark Baum rushes to gather information about the alarming rise in mortgage delinquencies. Despite the surge in defaults, Vinny Daniel reveals that subprime mortgage bond prices are inexplicably increasing, creating confusion among financial analysts. As they discuss the situation, they learn that Deutsche Bank is demanding more collateral and rating agencies have yet to downgrade any bonds. The scene captures the urgency and anxiety surrounding the impending financial crisis, leaving the characters grappling with the bizarre market dynamics.
Strengths
  • Effective tension-building
  • Realistic character reactions
  • Engaging plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Some dialogue may be confusing for audiences not familiar with financial terms

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and urgency, keeping the audience engaged with the unfolding crisis and the characters' reactions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the escalating subprime mortgage crisis and its impact on the characters, effectively conveying the complexity and urgency of the situation.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the characters' reactions to the news of mortgage delinquencies hitting a new high, driving the tension and conflict forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the financial crisis, focusing on the complexities of subprime mortgage bonds and the reactions of key players in the industry. The dialogue feels authentic and drives the narrative forward.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene react realistically to the escalating crisis, conveying their concerns and shock effectively.

Character Changes: 7

The characters experience a shift in their understanding and perception of the financial crisis, leading to increased tension and urgency.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark Baum's internal goal is to understand the unfolding financial crisis and its implications. This reflects his deeper need for control and understanding in a chaotic situation.

External Goal: 7

Mark's external goal is to navigate the financial challenges presented by the mortgage defaults and demands for collateral. This reflects the immediate circumstances and obstacles he is facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene arises from the characters' struggle to understand and respond to the escalating crisis, driving the tension and urgency.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with financial challenges and conflicting information creating obstacles for the characters to overcome.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the financial crisis and its impact on the characters create a sense of urgency and tension, driving the narrative forward.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new developments in the financial crisis and driving the plot towards a climax.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its portrayal of the financial crisis, with unexpected twists and turns in the characters' responses to the escalating situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the discrepancy between the reality of subprime mortgage defaults and the perceived value of subprime mortgage bonds. This challenges Mark's beliefs about the financial system and its inherent flaws.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits a strong emotional response from the audience, conveying the characters' shock and concern effectively.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' confusion and urgency, driving the plot forward and maintaining the tension.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced dialogue, high stakes, and the sense of impending crisis. The audience is drawn into the characters' urgent actions and reactions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and urgency, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' actions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a financial drama genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the urgency and complexity of the financial crisis. The pacing and rhythm enhance the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the urgency and chaos of the financial world as Mark Baum races to understand the implications of rising mortgage delinquencies. The use of snippets from business news adds a layer of realism and context, grounding the audience in the economic climate of the time.
  • However, the dialogue could benefit from more specificity and emotional weight. While Mark's frantic tone conveys urgency, the lines feel somewhat generic. Adding personal stakes or emotional reactions could enhance the tension and make the audience more invested in the characters' plight.
  • The transition between the exterior and interior settings is smooth, but the scene could use more visual detail to enhance the atmosphere. Describing the bustling streets of Midtown or the tense environment in the FrontPoint office could create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • The conflict presented in the scene is compelling, particularly the contradiction between rising mortgage defaults and increasing bond prices. However, the characters' reactions to this contradiction could be more pronounced. Exploring their disbelief or frustration in greater depth would heighten the stakes and engage the audience further.
  • The pacing of the scene is brisk, which suits the urgency of the situation. However, it may benefit from a moment of pause or reflection, allowing characters to process the shocking news before diving back into action. This could create a more dynamic rhythm and give the audience a moment to absorb the gravity of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more specific and emotionally charged dialogue to deepen the characters' reactions to the news. For example, Mark could express personal stakes or fears related to the financial crisis, making his urgency more relatable.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of both the Midtown setting and the FrontPoint office to create a more vivid atmosphere. Consider adding sensory details, such as the sounds of the city or the frantic energy of the office, to immerse the audience in the scene.
  • Explore the characters' emotional responses to the contradictory news more thoroughly. Allowing them to express disbelief, anger, or confusion could heighten the tension and make the stakes feel more immediate.
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or pause in the dialogue to allow characters and the audience to process the shocking news before moving forward. This could create a more dynamic pacing and emphasize the gravity of the situation.
  • Introduce a visual motif or recurring element that symbolizes the impending crisis, such as a clock ticking down or a news ticker, to reinforce the urgency and foreshadow the collapse.



Scene 32 - Frustration on Two Fronts
84 INT. CAB - SAME TIME 84

MARK
Motherfuckers!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 65.


The West African CAB DRIVER looks over his shoulder.

CAB DRIVER
Is everything okay sir?

MARK
Yeah, other than the fact America
is a cesspool of corruption and
greed.

CAB DRIVER
That is very true sir! But I never
hear Americans say it! Haha!

VINNY (V.O.)
That’s not all Mark...


85 INT. TINY SIDE OFFICE - FRONTPOINT - DAY 85

Vinny peers into their Conference Room, where there are THREE
RISK MANAGERS. Standing at the head of the table is a very
pregnant, Kathy Tao.

VINNY
The Frontpoint risk guys are here.
They called in Kathy Tao. They're
trying to convince her to make us
to sell our swaps.
Apparently, tying up 6
years of insurance payments in
hopes of housing Armageddon is not
good investing.

MARK (O.S.)
What'd Kathy say?

VINNY
Nothing, yet. She keeps asking if
this is one of your crusades.


86 INT. CAB - DAY 86

Mark on the phone.

MARK
When she leaves, go back in and
very calmly, very politely, tell
the risk assessors to fuck off.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 66.

MARK (CONT'D)
Then meet me over at Standard and
Poors. Let’s go talk to Georgia
Hale.

He hangs up.

CAB DRIVER
In my country they just show up and
steal your children for their army.
In America they are very sneaky.
They take your house, your money
and you still think they are your
friends!

MARK
You want a job?

CAB DRIVER
No way brother! I am just the
ferryman! Haha!

He drives crazy fast through traffic.


87 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - FRONTPOINT PARTNERS - DAY 87

Vinny enters. The risk managers go silent.

VINNY
(calmly, politely)
Mark said to fuck off.

The Risk Managers wait for nuance. None will be coming.

CUT TO:


88 INT. SCION OFFICES - DAY 88

Michael Burry writes on the big white board the quarterly
returns: -11.3%. There are now only five working analysts.
The rest of the desks are empty.

Michael walks into his office closes the door and yells.

MICHAEL BURRY
Fuuuuuuuck!!!!!

Everyone in the office looks up and then after a beat, go
back to working.

WIFE (V.O.)
Michael?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 67.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In this scene, Mark vents his frustrations about America's corruption to a cab driver, who humorously agrees but declines a job offer. Meanwhile, Vinny observes a tense meeting with risk managers trying to persuade Kathy Tao to sell their swaps. Mark instructs Vinny to bluntly dismiss their proposal when Kathy leaves. The scene shifts to Michael Burry, who expresses his own frustration over disappointing quarterly returns, highlighting the overall tension and discontent with the financial system.
Strengths
  • Effective tension-building
  • Realistic character reactions
  • Engaging dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some scenes may feel rushed
  • Limited character development in certain instances

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the mounting pressure and uncertainty faced by the characters, setting the stage for significant developments in the plot.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the financial crisis through the perspectives of different characters is engaging and provides a deep dive into the complexities of the situation.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, with key decisions being made and tensions escalating as the characters navigate the financial turmoil.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on financial risk management and corruption, with authentic dialogue that captures the complexity of the characters' motivations. The writer's original voice shines through in the dark humor and bold actions of the protagonist.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their reactions to the crisis feel authentic, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters experience shifts in their perspectives and decisions, setting the stage for potential character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his authority and make bold decisions in the face of financial challenges. This reflects his need for control and his desire to challenge the status quo.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to confront the risk managers and make strategic business decisions. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating financial risks and making tough choices.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with characters facing internal and external challenges as they navigate the financial crisis.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the risk managers presenting a significant challenge to the protagonist's goals. The audience is left unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with characters making critical decisions that could have far-reaching consequences in the midst of a financial crisis.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key plot points, escalating conflicts, and setting up future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and decisions made by the protagonist, as well as the shifting power dynamics between characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between ethical investing and risky financial practices. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the morality of business decisions and the consequences of greed.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly feelings of tension, urgency, and concern.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and conflicts, enhancing the overall tension of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the fast-paced dialogue, high stakes, and dynamic character interactions. The tension between the protagonist and the risk managers keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension, driving the plot forward and keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings and clear action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and a focus on dialogue-driven interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the frustration and urgency of Mark Baum as he navigates the chaotic financial landscape. The dialogue between Mark and the cab driver adds a layer of dark humor while also highlighting the broader themes of corruption and greed in America. However, the transition between the cab and the conference room could be smoother to maintain the scene's momentum.
  • Vinny's line about Mark's crusade is a clever way to introduce the tension in the conference room, but it could benefit from more context or emotional weight. The risk managers' reaction to Vinny's message feels somewhat flat; adding a moment of disbelief or confusion could enhance the stakes and the absurdity of the situation.
  • The cab driver's commentary serves as a humorous yet poignant commentary on the American financial system, but it risks overshadowing Mark's urgency. Balancing the humor with the gravity of the situation is crucial to maintain the scene's tone.
  • Michael Burry's outburst at the end of the scene serves as a strong emotional anchor, but it feels disconnected from the preceding events. A clearer connection between Mark's frustrations and Burry's situation could create a more cohesive narrative thread.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection from Mark after the cab driver's comments, allowing him to articulate his feelings about the corruption in a more personal way. This could deepen the audience's understanding of his character.
  • Enhance the tension in the conference room by showing the risk managers' reactions to Vinny's message. Perhaps include a moment of awkward silence or disbelief before they respond, which could heighten the absurdity of the situation.
  • Maintain a balance between humor and seriousness by ensuring that the cab driver's jokes do not detract from the urgency of Mark's mission. You might consider having Mark respond with a more serious comment after the driver's humorous remarks.
  • To create a stronger connection between the two storylines, consider adding a line or two that links Mark's frustrations with the risk managers to Burry's situation. This could be a thematic line about the consequences of ignoring the signs of impending disaster.



Scene 33 - A Moment of Distraction
89 INT. MICHAEL BURRY’S HOME - LIVING ROOM - DUSK 89


Michael is watching Business News on the TV while his WIFE,
pretty and direct, tries to talk to him.


SOMEONE FROM THE TREASURY OR THE FED BEING INTERVIEWED.

GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL(SOT)
Yes, there’s been an up tick in
defaults but it’s well within our
models.

WIFE
Michael.

GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL (SOT)
So despite these temporary aberrant
numbers we’re quite pleased.

WIFE
Michael!

She turns off the TV.

WIFE (CONT’D)
I’m trying to talk to you.

MICHAEL BURRY
I’m sorry. I was listening. Go on.

WIFE
The school says Nicholas has been
having issues. He’s not
socializing. He isolates and
doesn’t communicate with the other
kids.

NICHOLAS his six year old son is playing with a toy crane on
the floor.

ALEX
(listing parts of the
crane)
Hoist rope, lattice boom, upper
sheave, gantry, harnass...

MICHAEL BURRY
Well I was never the most social of
kids... Is that such a bad thing?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 68.


WIFE
They think we should take him to a
specialist to get an evaluation.

MICHAEL BURRY
Then yes, of course, let’s do
that.

NICHOLAS
Mom, Dad...

Nicholas has walked over to them holding his toy crane.

NICHOLAS (CONT’D)
The crane is rotating 260 degrees.
It just needed a circular base and
a catch for the string.

MICHAEL BURRY
That’s great Nicholas! Good job!


90 OMIT 90
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a tense yet tender scene, Michael Burry is absorbed in business news about rising defaults, causing frustration for his wife as she tries to discuss their son Nicholas's social issues. Despite his initial distraction, Michael acknowledges the need for an evaluation for Nicholas, who is creatively engaged with his toy crane. The scene highlights the strain in their communication but ends on a positive note as Michael praises Nicholas's intelligence, fostering a moment of connection between father and son.
Strengths
  • Authentic dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Low external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively delves into Michael Burry's personal life, adding depth to his character and showing a different side of him. The dialogue and interactions feel authentic and contribute to the overall narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the personal life of a key character in the midst of a financial crisis adds depth and complexity to the overall story. It humanizes Burry and provides insight into his motivations.

Plot: 7.5

While the scene doesn't directly advance the main plot, it enriches the character development of Michael Burry and sets the stage for potential conflicts or resolutions in his personal life.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the struggles of balancing work and family life, with authentic dialogue and relatable characters.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The scene shines in character development, particularly for Michael Burry, showcasing his vulnerabilities and complexities beyond his professional persona. His interactions with his wife and son reveal different facets of his personality.

Character Changes: 7

While there is no significant outward change in Michael Burry in this scene, it provides insight into his internal conflicts and emotional growth, setting the stage for potential evolution in future interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to balance his work responsibilities with his family obligations. This reflects his deeper desire to be a good father and husband while also succeeding in his career.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to address his son's social issues and agree to take him to a specialist for evaluation. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with his son's behavior.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on Burry's personal struggles and the challenges he faces in balancing his family life with his career.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, but not overwhelming to the point of overshadowing the character dynamics.

High Stakes: 4

The high stakes of the financial crisis are momentarily overshadowed by the personal concerns of Michael Burry, highlighting the human impact of the events unfolding.

Story Forward: 6

The scene doesn't propel the main plot forward significantly, but it enriches the overall narrative by deepening the audience's understanding of Michael Burry and his motivations.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat predictable in its focus on family dynamics and work-life balance, but the character interactions add depth and nuance.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the balance between work success and family responsibilities. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about what it means to be a good parent and provider.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of empathy and understanding for Michael Burry as he navigates family concerns amidst the financial crisis. It adds emotional depth to his character and resonates with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is natural and serves the purpose of highlighting the family dynamics and Burry's internal struggles. It effectively conveys the concerns and emotions of the characters in a realistic manner.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it captures the emotional complexity of family relationships and the struggle to balance work and personal life.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a dialogue-heavy domestic scene, with clear character actions and descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a domestic drama, with clear character motivations and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively juxtaposes Michael Burry's intense focus on the financial crisis with his personal life, highlighting the tension between his professional and familial responsibilities. However, the dialogue could be more dynamic to reflect the urgency of the situation. The wife's attempts to engage Michael feel somewhat flat and could benefit from more emotional weight.
  • The use of the TV news segment as a backdrop is a clever device to convey the broader context of the financial crisis, but it could be more integrated into the dialogue. For instance, Michael's responses could directly reference the news, showing how it affects his thoughts and feelings about his family situation.
  • Nicholas's character is introduced in a way that showcases his intelligence and creativity, which is a nice touch. However, the scene could delve deeper into the emotional implications of his social struggles. The contrast between his technical knowledge and his father's social difficulties could be explored further to enhance the thematic depth.
  • The pacing of the scene feels a bit uneven. The transition from the news segment to the personal conversation could be smoother. Consider using more visual cues or actions to bridge these moments, allowing the audience to feel the shift in focus more organically.
  • The dialogue lacks a sense of urgency or emotional stakes. While Michael's initial distraction is clear, his eventual agreement to seek help for Nicholas feels too easy. Adding more internal conflict or hesitation could make his decision more impactful.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by giving the wife more compelling reasons for her concerns about Nicholas. Perhaps she could share a specific incident that illustrates his social struggles, making the audience empathize with her perspective.
  • Incorporate more of Michael's internal conflict regarding his son's issues. Show his struggle between his focus on the financial crisis and his responsibilities as a father, perhaps through his body language or facial expressions.
  • Consider having Michael respond to the news segment in a way that reflects his growing anxiety about both the market and his family. This could create a more cohesive narrative thread throughout the scene.
  • Use visual storytelling to enhance the emotional impact. For example, show Michael's attention drifting from the TV to his son, emphasizing the pull between his work and family life.
  • Add a moment of tension where Michael's frustration with the financial crisis spills over into his conversation with his wife, creating a more dramatic conflict that needs resolution.



Scene 34 - The Ratings Dilemma
91 INT. SMALL OFFICE - RATING AGENCY SURVEILLANCE DEPT - DAY 91

GEORGIA
I can't see a damn thing.

GEORGIA HALE (55) is a pleasant, middle-class woman wearing
EYE EXAM SUNSHADES and fussing with her blinds.

GEORGIA (CONT’D)
My eye doctor's always busy. I end
up taking any appointment they'll
give me and then the whole morning
gets shot to hell.

She goes to her desk... where Mark and Vinny wait.

GEORGIA (CONT’D)
Alrighty. So. FrontPoint Partners.
How can Standard and Poors help
you?

VINNY
We don't understand why the ratings
agencies aren't downgrading
subprime bonds, since the
underlying loans are deteriorating.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 69.


GEORGIA
Well, delinquency rates have people
worried, but they're actually
within our models.

MARK
Models that you share with the
banks. Couldn’t they be gaming
them?

GEORGIA
I highly doubt it. These are very
large banks that care a great deal
about their reputations.

MARK
They care a lot more about their
bonuses.

GEORGIA
I'm sure the world's banks have
more nuanced incentives than abject
greed, Mr. Baum.

MARK
You're wrong.

GEORGIA
Then they'll go bankrupt. The
marketplace is ruthlessly
efficient.

Mark considers this old saw a moment.

MARK
Your convinced the underlying
mortgages in these bonds are solid
loans?

GEORGIA
That's our opinion, yes.

MARK
Here's what I don't understand: if
these mortgage bonds are so solid
why are all the stocks for the
mortgage brokerage companies down?
These are companies issuing the
loans that make up the bonds and
they’re tanking.

She's inscrutable behind her sunshades. But the fact she
doesn't argue tells us he's shaken her confidence.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 70.


GEORGIA
We believe our ratings will prove
accurate.

MARK
Have you ever refused to rate any
of these bonds upper tranches AAA?
Can we see the paper work on those
deals?

GEORGIA
I’m not under any obligation to
share that information with you.

MARK
Just answer me Georgia. Can you
name one time in the past year
where you checked the tape and
didn’t give the banks the triple
AAA percentage they wanted?

Half beat.

GEORGIA
If we deny them the rating they'll
go to Moody's.

A stunned beat. She's not supposed to say this.

GEORGIA (CONT’D)
If we don't work with them, they'll
go to our competitors.

VINNY
Holy shit. They’re selling ratings
for fees.

Silence. Mark didn't know it was that simple, that cynical.

MARK
You can afford to make less. Make
less.

GEORGIA
It’s not my decision. I have a
boss.

MARK
Really? That’s the angle you’re
taking? So anyone who has a boss
can’t be held responsible for doing
shitty and illegal things? What are
you, nine years old?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 70A.


She takes her glasses off. Her eyes are watery, dilated.

GEORGIA
And what, pray tell, are your
incentives?! Why are you in my
office?! Is it maybe in
your interest to have the ratings
change?! How many credit default
swaps do you own?!

She's nailed him.

MARK
(quietly)
That doesn't make me wrong.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 71.


GEORGIA
No, it just makes you a hypocrite.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a tense office confrontation, Georgia Hale from a rating agency defends her agency's ratings of subprime bonds against probing questions from Mark and Vinny of FrontPoint Partners. As they challenge her assertions about the integrity of the ratings process, Georgia reveals the cynical reality that banks can simply seek ratings from competitors if denied. The discussion escalates into accusations of hypocrisy, leaving the moral complexities of the financial industry unresolved.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Revealing character interactions
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy exposition

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, revealing the unethical practices of the financial industry and creating a tense atmosphere through confrontational dialogue and intense exchanges. The conflict is well-developed, and the stakes are high, making it a crucial moment in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exposing the corrupt practices of rating agencies is crucial to the overall narrative, adding depth and complexity to the story. The scene effectively conveys the theme of greed and deception in the financial world.

Plot: 9

The plot is significantly advanced in this scene, as the characters uncover the unethical practices of the rating agencies, leading to a shift in their understanding of the financial industry. The conflict is heightened, setting the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the financial industry, highlighting the ethical dilemmas faced by ratings agencies and investors. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined in this scene, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions reveal their ethical dilemmas and conflicting interests, adding depth to their arcs.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo significant changes in this scene, as they confront the reality of corruption in the financial industry and grapple with their own ethical dilemmas. Their perspectives shift, leading to a deeper understanding of the consequences of their actions.

Internal Goal: 8

Georgia's internal goal in this scene is to maintain her professional reputation and confidence in her ratings agency's assessments.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to defend her agency's ratings and decision-making process in the face of scrutiny and skepticism from Mark and Vinny.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, with characters clashing over ethical dilemmas and conflicting interests. The high stakes add tension and urgency to the confrontation, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and motivations driving the conflict between the characters.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as the characters confront the unethical practices of the financial industry and face the consequences of their actions. The outcome of the confrontation could have far-reaching implications, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 10

The scene propels the story forward significantly, revealing crucial information about the corrupt practices of the rating agencies and setting the stage for future developments. The plot advances rapidly, creating momentum and intrigue.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations and confrontations between the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between ethical integrity and financial incentives. Georgia represents the integrity of the ratings agency's assessments, while Mark and Vinny question the motives and practices of the agency.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including anger, skepticism, and concern, as the characters confront the corrupt practices of the financial industry. The intense exchanges and ethical dilemmas resonate with the audience, creating a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9.5

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and impactful, driving the scene forward and revealing crucial information about the characters and the plot. The exchanges are intense and thought-provoking, adding layers to the narrative.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, sharp dialogue, and moral ambiguity that keeps the audience invested in the characters' conflicts.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' interactions and revelations.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear character cues and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy, tension-filled exchange in a professional setting.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Mark and Georgia, showcasing the conflicting interests of the rating agencies and the hedge fund. However, the dialogue can feel a bit expository at times, particularly when Georgia explains the rationale behind the ratings. This could be streamlined to maintain a more natural flow.
  • Mark's character is well-defined as confrontational and skeptical, but the scene could benefit from more emotional depth. While he challenges Georgia's views, adding a personal stake or backstory could enhance his motivations and make the audience more invested in his perspective.
  • Georgia's character is introduced as a pleasant, middle-class woman, but her motivations and the pressures she faces could be explored further. This would add complexity to her character and make her more relatable, rather than just a mouthpiece for the rating agency's stance.
  • The use of Georgia's eye exam sunglasses is a clever visual metaphor for her inability to see the truth of the situation. However, this could be emphasized more throughout the scene, perhaps by having her struggle with them in a way that parallels her struggle to see the reality of the financial crisis.
  • The dialogue towards the end, particularly Mark's retort about being a hypocrite, feels a bit abrupt. A more gradual build-up to this confrontation could enhance the tension and make the exchange feel more impactful.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Mark reflects on his own motivations before confronting Georgia, which could provide a deeper emotional context for his aggressive questioning.
  • Introduce a brief backstory for Georgia that hints at her struggles within the rating agency, perhaps through a line of dialogue or a flashback, to create empathy for her character.
  • Revise the dialogue to reduce exposition and instead show the stakes through subtext. For example, instead of directly stating the ratings are influenced by fees, have Georgia imply it through her defensiveness.
  • Enhance the visual metaphor of Georgia's sunglasses by incorporating more physicality into her actions, such as her adjusting them nervously as the conversation escalates, to symbolize her discomfort with the truth.
  • Consider ending the scene with a more ambiguous note, leaving the audience questioning the integrity of both Mark and Georgia, which could set up further conflict in subsequent scenes.



Scene 35 - Tensions in the Financial Crisis
92 INT. CAB - DAY 92

Vinny watches Mark as they ride back uptown in a
crowd. He’s rattled.

VINNY
(checks his blackberry)
Vennett’s coming to the office at
3.
(then)
You okay?

Mark nods.

MARK
Short the rating agencies. All of
them.


93 INT. BROWNFIELD OFFICE - NYC LOFT - DAY 93

Charlie and Jamie are climbing the walls. Ben is on speaker
phone.

BEN (V.O.)
Mortgage delinquencies went up and
the CDOs got more valuable!? You
gotta be kidding me!

JAMIE
We know. It’s completely backwards.
It’s like 2 plus 2 equals 73.


A94 INT. BEN RICKERT’S OFFICE - SAME TIME A94

Ben sits at his desk reading the Sixth Great Extinction. We
cut back and forth.

BEN
I just called an old friend at Bear
and he didn’t even know what a CDO
is.

JAMIE (V.O.)
I had to transfer Bear and Duetsche
78 thousand dollars. It’s like I
bought a suit and paid for it with
two suits.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 71A.


CHARLIE (V.O.)
It’s rigged. We bought into a
rigged game. We’re going to lose
hundreds of thousands a year until
it’s all gone and I have to move
back in with my mom.

BEN
Having fun yet?

Beat as Charlie catches a thought.

CHARLIE
Wait a minute... We know the CDOs
are taking losses and yet the price
is frozen or going up. Maybe
they’re frozen because the banks
have no idea how to value them? I
bet they’re so toxic the banks are
just guessing!
(half beat)
I think we should buy more swaps.

JAMIE
What?! No way! No.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 72.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense cab ride, Vinny worries about an upcoming meeting with Vennett while Mark proposes a bold strategy to short the rating agencies. Meanwhile, in the chaotic Brownfield office, Charlie and Jamie grapple with the irrational rise in CDO values amidst rising mortgage delinquencies. Charlie suggests buying more swaps to counter the banks' guessing game on CDO values, but Jamie strongly opposes the idea, leaving their conflict unresolved as frustration mounts.
Strengths
  • Compelling concept
  • High stakes
  • Sharp dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too technical for general audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the escalating tension and stakes as the characters grapple with the realization of the rigged financial system, creating a sense of urgency and intrigue.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exposing the rigged nature of the financial system and the characters' reactions to it is compelling and thought-provoking. It adds depth to the narrative and raises important questions about the ethics of the financial industry.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the overall narrative, as it reveals key information about the financial system and the characters' motivations. It sets the stage for future developments and adds layers of complexity to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on the financial crisis and presents complex financial concepts in a compelling and accessible way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to the setting.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed and their reactions to the unfolding events feel authentic. Their motivations and conflicts drive the scene forward and add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their perspectives and motivations as they confront the reality of the rigged financial system. Their reactions and decisions hint at future character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the complexities and uncertainties of the financial market. This reflects their desire for success and fear of failure in their high-pressure environment.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to make strategic financial decisions to navigate the volatile market and potentially profit from the chaos. This reflects the immediate challenges they are facing in their work.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, as the characters grapple with the realization of the rigged financial system and the implications for their investments. Tensions rise as they confront the unethical practices of the banks.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing challenges and obstacles in the form of the volatile financial market and ethical dilemmas. The audience is kept guessing about the characters' next moves.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters realize the extent of the corruption in the financial system and the potential consequences for their investments. The urgency and tension are heightened by the escalating conflicts.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about the financial system and the characters' reactions to it. It sets the stage for future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' unexpected decisions and the volatile nature of the financial market. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters will navigate the crisis.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethics of the financial industry and the moral implications of profiting from economic downturns. The characters grapple with the idea of exploiting a rigged system for personal gain.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, as the characters' frustration and shock are palpable. The audience is drawn into their struggles and uncertainties, creating a sense of empathy and concern.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, engaging, and reveals important information about the characters and their perspectives on the financial system. It adds tension and conflict to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, high-stakes conflict, and complex financial concepts. The characters' interactions and decisions keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and dynamic, reflecting the urgency and intensity of the financial world. The rapid-fire dialogue and quick scene transitions maintain the momentum and drive the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and concise action lines. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between different locations and characters. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and suspense.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and confusion surrounding the financial crisis, particularly the disconnect between rising mortgage delinquencies and the increasing value of CDOs. However, the dialogue could benefit from more specificity to enhance clarity and impact. For instance, instead of vague phrases like 'it’s completely backwards,' characters could articulate their thoughts with more precise language that reflects their expertise and frustration.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transition between the cab and the office. While the quick cuts can convey urgency, they may also disorient the audience. A more gradual transition or a brief moment of reflection from the characters could help ground the viewer in the emotional stakes of the situation.
  • The use of humor, particularly through Charlie's line about moving back in with his mom, adds levity to an otherwise tense scene. However, this humor could be better integrated into the dialogue to avoid feeling like a jarring shift in tone. Ensuring that the humor arises naturally from the characters' frustrations would enhance the authenticity of their interactions.
  • Ben's character is introduced in a way that feels somewhat disconnected from the main action. While he is on speakerphone, the scene could benefit from visual cues or reactions from the characters in the office to emphasize his presence and the impact of his words. This would create a stronger sense of connection between the characters and their dialogue.
  • The scene ends on a cliffhanger with Charlie suggesting they buy more swaps, which is a strong choice. However, it would be more effective if this moment were built up with a clearer sense of stakes. Adding a line that highlights the potential consequences of this decision could heighten the tension and leave the audience eager to see how the characters will proceed.
Suggestions
  • Revise the dialogue to include more specific language that reflects the characters' expertise and frustrations, enhancing clarity and emotional impact.
  • Consider slowing down the pacing of the scene to allow for a more gradual transition between locations, giving the audience time to absorb the emotional stakes.
  • Integrate humor more naturally into the dialogue to maintain the scene's tone and ensure it feels authentic to the characters' experiences.
  • Enhance Ben's presence in the scene by including visual reactions from the characters in the office, creating a stronger connection to his dialogue.
  • Build up the stakes surrounding Charlie's suggestion to buy more swaps by adding a line that emphasizes the potential consequences of this decision, increasing tension and engagement.



Scene 36 - Confrontation in the Conference Room
94 INT. FRONTPOINT PARTNERS - SAME TIME 94

Jared Vennett is seated in the conference room. Mark, Vinny,
Danny and Porter are SCREAMING AT HIM. He is amazingly calm
and even CHECKS HIS PHONE at one point.

ALL
You fucked us! I knew you’d fuck
us!... What game are you running!
I’m calling the goddamn justice
department! Don’t check your phone!
Don’t you check your fucking
phone!!

Finally the group is exhausted from yelling and they run out
of gas.

JARED
You guys done?

DANNY
Yeah. I think so.

PORTER
(holding his side)
Jesus. I think I pulled a muscle in
my back from yelling.

VINNY
Mortgage defaults are way up. Yet
you quote us a higher price on the
bonds. Tell me why we shouldn’t
pull out of this trade right now?

JARED
Listen, I told you when we did this
deal the ratings agencies, the SEC
and the big banks are clueless. So
now their foot’s on fire and they
think their steak is done and
you’re surprised?

MARK
This isn’t stupidity, this is
fraud.

JARED
Hey, if you can tell me the
difference between stupid and
illegal I’ll have my wife’s brother
arrested.

Danny laughs. Everyone glares at him.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 72A.


DANNY
I’m sorry. That was funny.

JARED
I just don’t think you guys realize
how clueless the system is.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 73.

JARED (CONT'D)
Yeah, there’s shady shit happening
but trust me, it’s all fueled by
stupidity. Face it, as cynical as
you all are I think you still have
a shred of respect left for the
powers that be.

VINNY
Not me.

JARED
Okay, except Vinny.


95 INT. BROWNFIELD OFFICE - NYC LOFT - SAME TIME 95

Charlie is pleading to his case.

CHARLIE
Look, either we’re wrong or we’re
right in a giant, giant way! If
we’re right I want to go all in. If
we’re wrong I want someone to tell
us.

JAMIE
I’m not feeling remotely confident
that we’re right. And if we’re
wrong, who’s going to tell us?

BEN (V.O.)
Sounds like we need to go to Vegas.

JAMIE
Vegas?


96 INT. FRONTPOINT PARTNERS - SAME TIME 96

JARED VENNETT
Yeah, Vegas. The American
Securitization Forum. It’s next
week. Every bond and CDO salesman,
subprime lender and swap trader in
the country will be there. I’m
telling you, your bet is against
dumb money. I think it’s time you
meet that dumb money.

PORTER
I hate Vegas.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 74.


DANNY
I hear the restaurants in Vegas
have gotten really good. They have
a Nobu.

PORTER
Fucking stop it.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense conference room at Frontpoint Partners, Jared Vennett faces an angry group—Mark, Vinny, Danny, and Porter—who accuse him of ruining their investment and threaten to report him. Despite their fury, Jared remains calm, suggesting that the financial crisis stems from ignorance rather than fraud. He proposes they attend the American Securitization Forum in Vegas to confront the 'dumb money' in the market, leaving the group with mixed feelings about the trip.
Strengths
  • Intense confrontation
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character development
  • Plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion with financial terminology

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is intense, well-written, and crucial for character development and plot progression. The dialogue is sharp, the conflict is high, and the emotional impact is significant.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exposing financial fraud and incompetence through a confrontational scene is compelling and drives the narrative forward. It effectively conveys the themes of corruption and greed.

Plot: 9

The plot is advanced significantly through the confrontation, revealing key information about the characters' motivations and the challenges they face. It sets the stage for future developments in the story.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the financial industry, with authentic dialogue and complex character interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters are well-developed in this scene, with each displaying their unique traits and perspectives. The confrontation allows for deeper insight into their personalities and values.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo subtle changes during the scene, as their beliefs and values are challenged by the revelations and conflicts. This sets the stage for potential character growth in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain his composure and assert his belief in the flawed system, despite facing accusations of fraud and incompetence.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to convince his colleagues to trust his judgment and stay in the trade, despite their doubts and anger.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, with the characters clashing over ethical issues, financial risks, and personal stakes. The high level of conflict drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing conflicting beliefs and motivations that drive the conflict forward.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters face financial ruin, ethical dilemmas, and personal consequences. The outcome of the confrontation could have far-reaching implications for their futures.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly by revealing crucial information, escalating the conflict, and setting up future plot developments. It propels the narrative towards a climactic resolution.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between the characters and the unexpected twists in the dialogue.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between the protagonist's belief in the system's inherent flaws and his colleagues' belief in fraud and deception.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.2

The scene has a significant emotional impact on the audience, evoking feelings of frustration, anger, and disbelief. The intense confrontation and sharp dialogue resonate with viewers.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and filled with tension, effectively conveying the characters' emotions and motivations. It drives the conflict forward and reveals important information.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense dialogue and high-stakes conflict.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension and momentum throughout the dialogue.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character motivations and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and frustration among the characters, particularly Mark, Vinny, Danny, and Porter, as they confront Jared Vennett. The use of shouting and physicality conveys their emotional state, but it risks overwhelming the audience with noise rather than allowing for nuanced dialogue. The balance between chaos and clarity could be improved.
  • Jared's calm demeanor amidst the chaos is a strong character choice, showcasing his confidence and detachment from the situation. However, his responses could benefit from more depth. Instead of merely dismissing the accusations, he could provide more insight into his perspective, which would enhance the conflict and give the audience a clearer understanding of his motivations.
  • The dialogue is sharp and reflects the characters' personalities well, but it occasionally veers into cliché territory with phrases like 'You fucked us!' and 'I’m calling the goddamn justice department!' These could be replaced with more original expressions that better reflect the characters' unique voices.
  • The transition to the Brownfield office feels abrupt. While it serves to juxtapose the two groups' reactions, a smoother transition could enhance the flow of the scene. Perhaps a visual or auditory cue could bridge the two locations more effectively.
  • The humor introduced through Danny's laughter and Jared's quip about his wife’s brother adds levity to an otherwise tense scene. However, it may undermine the gravity of the situation. The balance between humor and tension needs careful handling to maintain the scene's stakes.
Suggestions
  • Consider incorporating more varied reactions from the characters during the confrontation. Instead of all shouting, allow for moments of silence or hesitation that can heighten the tension and make the dialogue more impactful.
  • Deepen Jared's character by giving him a more substantial rationale for his actions. This could involve him acknowledging the flaws in the system while still defending his position, which would create a more complex antagonist.
  • Revise some of the dialogue to avoid clichés and make it feel fresher. Focus on how each character would uniquely express their frustration or disbelief, reflecting their backgrounds and personalities.
  • Create a more seamless transition between the FrontPoint Partners and Brownfield offices. This could involve a visual motif or a shared line of dialogue that connects the two scenes, enhancing the narrative flow.
  • Evaluate the placement of humor within the scene. Ensure that it serves to enhance the tension rather than diffuse it. Consider using humor strategically to provide relief at critical moments without undermining the overall stakes.



Scene 37 - Skepticism in Sin City
97 INT. VENETIAN HOTEL - STATUES - DAY 97

CU The LIVING STATUES AT THE VENETIAN. The white classical
statues are STILL FOR A BEAT and THEN MOVE AND LOOK INTO
CAMERA.

MUSIC: A hip hop or rap song that exudes attitude like TOUCH
IT OR NOT by CAM’RON kicks in as soon as the statues move.


98 INT. MAIN CASINO FLOOR OF CAESAR’S PALACE - DAY 98

QUICK SERIES OF IMAGES: 1) Cash being exchanged for chips 2)
A SEXY WAITRESS serving drinks with a tattoo of her baby
daughter on her calf 3) A MARINE is playing two slot machines
smoking and drinking. 4) A poster showing happy good looking
people gambling and winning.


99 INT. TRADE SHOW FLOOR - CAESAR’S PALACE - DAY 99

A sea of sponsored booths. Familiar banks. Lots and lots of
White people. A BANNER tells us it's the:

American Securitization Forum

Ben gives Charlie and Jamie the tour. Jamie takes photos with
his cell. Charlie gets schooled.

BEN
And what's "midprime"?

CHARLIE
A loan that's between prime and
subprime?

JAMIE
Midprime's exactly the same as
subprime.

CHARLIE
That doesn't make sense.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 75.


BEN
And if a bond is “rich” it is...?

CHARLIE
Loaded with assets?

JAMIE
Overpriced and you probably lose
all your money.
(how did he know this?)
I can’t sleep on planes so I did my
homework.

Ben stops, turns to his proteges.

BEN
Let’s focus up. Now what's our goal
here?

CHARLIE
To figure out if this is the deal
of a lifetime, or if everybody
knows something we don’t and we’re
about to get royally screwed.

BEN
Good. Now don’t lose sight of that
when you’re with the guys from Bear
tomorrow morning. I set you up with
a face-to-face.

JAMIE
Great!

CHARLIE
Where’s the meeting?

Mark, Vinny, Danny and Porter enter and cross past the
Brownfield Guys.

MARK BAUM
Five years ago securitization was a
loser convention. 100, maybe 200
people would show. 500 billion
dollars a year later and you get
this.

PORTER
A lot of smug looks in this place.

VINNY
It’s like someone hit a pinata
filled with white people who suck
at golf. Who are all these clowns?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 76.


MARK BAUM
According to Vennett, this is who
we’re betting against.

Vennett approaches the group with his young ASSISTANT, who
hands out room keys.

JARED
Hello gentlemen. My assistant Chris
has your room keys. I trust your
travel was uneventful?

MARK
So when do we get face time with
these charming folks?

JARED
They’ll be plenty of face time. But
remember, we’re here to gather
info, not advertise our short
position. We don’t want to spook
anyone. Got it?

Mark nods. The group still checking out the crowded lobby.

JARED (CONT’D)
Seriously. Mark, you’ve got a very
loud mouth. Can you muzzle it for a
few days?

MARK
So you don’t want me warning people
that the entire conference is put
on to normalize the buying and
selling of worthless shit?

JARED
Yes.

VINNY
Don’t worry. We’ll be good little
boys.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a vibrant scene set in Las Vegas, living statues at the Venetian Hotel come to life as hip hop music plays, transitioning to the bustling casino floor of Caesar's Palace. Ben guides Charlie and Jamie through the American Securitization Forum, discussing complex financial terms while Jamie showcases his research. Mark Baum and his team express skepticism about the conference attendees and their motives, with humorous commentary from Vinny. Jared Vennett advises the group to remain discreet about their short position, highlighting the tension and superficiality of the environment as they gather information.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Strong character interactions
  • High tension and conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some characters may come across as one-dimensional

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-written with sharp dialogue and a strong sense of conflict and tension. It effectively sets up the characters' motivations and the central conflict of the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of attending a financial conference to gather information and make decisions about investments is intriguing and sets the stage for the characters' actions and conflicts.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the characters' interactions at the conference, their skepticism towards the industry, and their confrontations with each other and with other attendees.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on the financial industry, blending humor and drama in a unique way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions and conflicts drive the scene forward and add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo some changes in their attitudes and perspectives, particularly towards the financial industry and each other, setting up potential character arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate the complex world of finance and determine if they are making the right decisions or being deceived.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to gather information and make strategic decisions in the financial conference they are attending.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with characters confronting each other and challenging the status quo of the financial industry. Tension is palpable, driving the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene adds tension and uncertainty, keeping the audience on their toes.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters navigate the complex world of finance, make crucial decisions about investments, and confront the unethical practices of the industry.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, introducing key conflicts, motivations, and decisions that will impact the characters' trajectories and the overall narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between characters and the moral ambiguity of the financial deals.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the morality of the financial industry and the protagonist's ethical stance on profiting from potentially harmful deals.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of skepticism, tension, and confrontation, but the emotional impact is not as pronounced as in more personal or intimate scenes.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and confrontational, reflecting the characters' attitudes and adding depth to their interactions. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of humor, drama, and high stakes in the financial world.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene keeps the audience engaged, moving between different locations and characters smoothly.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear descriptions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure, moving between different locations and characters seamlessly.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and superficial atmosphere of the American Securitization Forum, using vivid imagery and a lively soundtrack to set the tone. However, the transition from the Venetian Hotel to the casino floor feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow and maintain the audience's engagement.
  • The dialogue between Ben, Charlie, and Jamie is informative but could benefit from more subtext. While they discuss financial terms, the stakes of their investigation could be heightened by incorporating personal motivations or fears, making their dialogue feel more urgent and relatable.
  • Mark's entrance with his team adds a layer of tension, but the dialogue lacks a strong emotional punch. Mark's sarcastic remarks about the conference could be more biting or insightful, reflecting his character's frustration with the financial system. This would deepen the audience's understanding of his motivations.
  • The humor in Vinny's line about the conference attendees is effective, but it could be enhanced by showing more of the characters' reactions to the absurdity around them. This would create a stronger connection between the characters and the audience, allowing viewers to share in their disdain.
  • Jared's warning to Mark about keeping a low profile is a crucial moment, but it could be more impactful if it included a specific example of what could go wrong if Mark doesn't comply. This would raise the stakes and create a sense of urgency that is currently lacking.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or internal monologue for Mark as he observes the conference attendees, which could provide insight into his character and the broader implications of the event.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements, such as close-ups of the attendees' expressions or reactions to the discussions, to enhance the emotional weight of the scene.
  • Strengthen the dialogue by infusing it with more character-specific language or jargon that reflects each character's personality and background, making their interactions feel more distinct.
  • Explore the dynamics between the characters further, perhaps by introducing a moment of conflict or disagreement among them that highlights their differing perspectives on the financial crisis.
  • End the scene with a stronger hook or cliffhanger that leaves the audience eager to see what happens next, perhaps by foreshadowing a significant revelation or confrontation at the conference.



Scene 38 - Guns and CDOs: A Misfire in Vegas
100 INT. SHOOTING RANGE - THE GUN STORE - LAS VEGAS - DAY 100

RICH GUY and Reps from Bear Stearns in business casual shoot
guns.

Bullets rip into politically incorrect targets...a black kid
attacking a sexy white woman, an Asian gangster, a big photo
of Osama bin Laden.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 76A.


Charlie and Jamie shoot Uzi's, surprised by how much fun
they're having. Clips spent, they remove headgear.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 77.


CHARLIE
The Beretta's great, but the Uzi...
awesome!

BEAR REP #2
Nice shooting, Brown Holers.

JAMIE
Brownfield. The name of the company
is Brownfield.

BEAR REP #2
Yeah, I know. But it’s more fun to
call you Brown Hole.

CHARLIE
I get it, wow that’s really clever.

Another Bear Rep #1 is about to shoot.

CHARLIE (CONT’D)
Hey, Matt right?

BEAR REP #1
(removes head phones)
What’s going on?

CHARLIE
We were hoping we could get a
little more insight on the CDO’s
from you we’ve got swaps on.

JAMIE
SO, what do you think’s gonna
happen to CDO’s in seven years?

BEAR REP #1
7 years? I just need this CDO
machine to keep going for another 2
years. By then I’ll be rich enough
to get a place in Aspen.

CHARLIE
Do you have any concerns about the
performance of the underlying
securitizations? It’s easy to see
delinquencies and even default
rates on the rise.

BEAR REP #1
Don’t be a buzzkill, dude. We
didn’t bring you guys out here to
talk work, OK?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 77A.


JAMIE
Then why did you?

BEAR REP #1
We need a client along so we can
expense the ammo.

Aims machine gun at a poster of thug, and fires.

RICH BEAR REP
Woooo!!

CHARLIE
(to Jamie)
Holy shit. These are the guys on
the other side of our trade. They
only care about their fees and
bonuses. And they’re morons. We
need to buy more shorts.

Jamie checks his cell.

JAMIE
You hit the main floor and price
some more swaps. My Brother’s ex
girlfriend works at the SEC and
she’s in town. If we’re missing
something she can tell me.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary At a Las Vegas shooting range, Charlie and Jamie from Brownfield engage in shooting alongside Bear Stearns representatives. While Charlie expresses serious concerns about the performance of CDOs, the Bear Reps dismiss his worries, prioritizing fun and profit instead. Amidst the casual atmosphere and politically incorrect targets, Jamie checks his phone for insights from his brother's ex-girlfriend at the SEC, hinting at a strategic pivot back to business. The scene highlights the tension between the lighthearted outing and the serious financial implications of their work.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Blend of humor and seriousness
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor with serious financial discussions, creating an engaging and entertaining dynamic. The dialogue is sharp and witty, providing insight into the characters' personalities and motivations.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring complex financial topics in a casual setting like a shooting range is innovative and adds depth to the characters. The scene effectively conveys the characters' attitudes towards their work and the high stakes involved.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses as the characters discuss their trading strategies and the looming financial crisis, setting up future conflicts and developments. The scene moves the story forward while providing key insights into the characters' motivations.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original approach to depicting financial analysis and decision-making in a high-stakes environment, blending it with recreational activities and contrasting attitudes.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and add depth to the scene. Each character's unique traits contribute to the overall dynamics of the group.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions and discussions hint at potential shifts in the characters' perspectives and priorities as the story progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assess the behavior and mindset of the Bear Stearns representatives they are interacting with. They are trying to understand the motivations and attitudes of these individuals in order to inform their own financial decisions.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to gather insights on CDOs from the Bear Stearns representatives and potentially make financial decisions based on this information.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the characters grapple with their own motivations and the ethical implications of their actions. There is tension between their personal desires and the potential consequences of their decisions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and priorities between the protagonist and the Bear Stearns representatives creating tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of the characters' financial investments and the looming crisis add tension and urgency to the scene. The decisions made here will have significant consequences for the characters and the overall story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new information, deepening character relationships, and setting up future conflicts. It advances the plot while maintaining audience interest and investment in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turns in dialogue and character interactions, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the differing values and priorities of the protagonist, who is focused on financial analysis and decision-making, and the Bear Stearns representatives, who prioritize leisure and expense.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from amusement at the characters' banter to concern over their risky financial dealings. The humor adds levity to the serious subject matter, creating a nuanced emotional experience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and realistic, capturing the characters' personalities and the tone of the scene. It effectively conveys the tension and humor in the interactions, keeping the audience engaged.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between characters, the high-stakes financial context, and the blend of tension and humor.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a satisfying resolution and setting up future plot developments.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively balancing dialogue, action, and character interactions to drive the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively juxtaposes the lightheartedness of shooting guns with the serious implications of the financial crisis, creating a stark contrast that highlights the characters' detachment from the consequences of their actions. However, the humor can come off as insensitive given the politically incorrect targets, which may alienate some viewers and detract from the overall message.
  • The dialogue is snappy and captures the banter between the characters, but it risks trivializing the gravity of the financial situation they are discussing. The Bear Rep's dismissive attitude towards the concerns about CDOs feels too casual, which could undermine the tension that should be present given the context of the impending financial collapse.
  • The characters of Charlie and Jamie are somewhat underdeveloped in this scene. While they express concern about the CDOs, their motivations and emotional stakes could be more clearly articulated. This would help the audience connect with them on a deeper level and understand why they are so invested in the outcome of these financial instruments.
  • The setting of a shooting range is an interesting choice, but it may distract from the main conversation about CDOs. The action of shooting could overshadow the dialogue, making it difficult for the audience to focus on the critical financial discussions. A more subdued environment might allow for a more serious tone and deeper exploration of the characters' thoughts.
  • The scene ends with a somewhat abrupt transition to Jamie checking his cell phone, which feels like a missed opportunity to build tension or foreshadow future events. A more deliberate conclusion could enhance the impact of the scene and leave the audience wanting to know more about the implications of their conversation.
Suggestions
  • Consider toning down the politically incorrect targets or replacing them with more neutral options to avoid alienating viewers and to maintain focus on the financial themes.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes for Charlie and Jamie by incorporating more personal motivations or backstory that explains their investment in the CDOs and their concerns about the market.
  • Shift the setting to a more subdued environment, such as a bar or a private meeting room, to allow for deeper conversations and a more serious tone that reflects the gravity of the financial crisis.
  • Add a moment of reflection or realization for Charlie and Jamie at the end of the scene, perhaps as they discuss the implications of what they've just learned, to create a stronger emotional impact and set up the next scene.
  • Incorporate more tension in the dialogue by having Charlie and Jamie push back harder against the Bear Reps' dismissive attitudes, emphasizing the stakes involved in their financial dealings.



Scene 39 - Confronting Optimism: A Clash in the Ballroom
101 INT. GIANT BALLROOM - SAME TIME 101

TWO HUNDRED OR SO BANKERS AND BOND TRADERS TAKE THEIR SEATS
in a large ball room with a podium at the front. A sign reads
“Option One CEO Paul Dantone: The Mortgage Market is Strong
and Getting Stronger”

DANNY
Option One is the mortgage company
last year that took a big loss in
their subprime department.

PORTER
I don’t get it. They sell the
mortgages they make. How did they
take losses?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 78.


DANNY
There’s a provision that if the
owner misses the very first payment
the loan goes back to Option One.

VINNY
Who takes a mortgage if they can’t
make the first payment?

MARK
The real question is: what company
gives a mortgage to someone who
can’t make the first payment?

LATER: THE CEO OF OPTION ONE is speaking to the room.

OPTION ONE CEO
...Business is good. Profits are
strong and the mortgage continues
to be the bedrock on which this
economy is built. Yes, we did take
some losses in our subprime
department last year. But those
losses will be contained at 5%.

Mark raises his hand.

VINNY
(whispers)
Hey Mark, this isn’t a Q and A...

Mark juts his hand up even higher.

OPTION ONE CEO
Uh, yes... There’s a question?

MARK
Would you say it’s a possibility or
a probability that subprime losses
stop at 5%?!

OPTION ONE CEO
Well... I would say it’s a very
strong probability.

Mark raises his hand again. But his hand is in the shape of a
ZERO.

MARK
Zero! There is a zero percent
chance your subprime losses stop at
5%!

His phone rings.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 79.


MARK (CONT’D)
Excuse me, I have to take this!

He gets up and leaves while answering his phone.

MARK (CONT’D)
Hey honey... You’re just calling to
say hi? Well that’s so sweet. How
are the kids?

Mark walks past Vennett, patting him on the shoulder. JARED
flips him off and then looks to camera.

JARED VENNETT
The fucker really did this.

CUT TO:


102 INT. SCION OFFICE - SAN JOSE - DAY 102

CU OF EMAILS:

“Withdrawing money end of the month”

“I trusted you. And you betrayed that trust. I am done with
Scion”

“Will be severing ties with Scion next month”

“When my two year period is over next month I withdraw all my
money from your fund”

Mike Burry is looking at his emails at his desk. He looks
pale and unhealthy. He now has only THREE EMPLOYEES -- the
other desks have the abandoned look of people laid off
quickly.

Mike comes out and goes to the company white board. He writes
the latest quarterly returns...-19.3%.

On his way out, he stops at a ladder where his Assistant is
putting up Valentine’s decorations.

MIKE
Can you come in early tomorrow? As
you know, we also have big shorts
in AIG and Countrywide, Frauddie
Mac and I need to unload those
positions to ensure we can afford
the insurance premiums on our core
mortgage short.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 79A.


ASSISTANT
Sure Dr. Burry.

Mike starts to leave.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 80.


ASSISTANT (CONT’D)
Dr. Burry? What’s going to happen?
If the investors withdraw, are we
done?

MIKE
Honestly? I don’t know. The bonds
aren’t going down. They won’t move.
It’s possible we are in a
completely fraudulent system.

ASSISTANT
Or you’re wrong.

Silence.

ASSISTANT (CONT’D)
I’m sorry. I just meant...

MIKE
That’s okay Lewis. Yes, it’s
possible I’m wrong. I don’t know
how. But I guess when someone’s
wrong they never know how.

He leaves.
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In a tense ballroom setting, the CEO of Option One addresses bankers about the mortgage market's resilience despite subprime losses. Mark challenges the CEO's optimistic claims, asserting there's a zero percent chance of losses being contained at 5%, before leaving for a phone call. Meanwhile, Mike Burry grapples with investor withdrawals and doubts about the market's integrity, highlighting the conflict between corporate optimism and financial reality.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Strong character dynamics
  • High-stakes conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some scenes may be too technical for general audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the intense atmosphere of the financial world, with strong dialogue and character dynamics. The conflict and stakes are high, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the complexities and corruption in the financial world is compelling and well-executed. The scene effectively conveys the challenges and conflicts faced by the characters.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the overall story, introducing key conflicts and dilemmas faced by the characters. It sets the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the financial market, highlighting the protagonist's skepticism and challenging the CEO's optimism. The dialogue feels authentic and reflects the competitive nature of the industry.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed and their interactions drive the scene forward. Their conflicting motivations and emotions add depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their perspectives and relationships, setting the stage for future developments. Their interactions reveal new layers to their personalities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to challenge the CEO's optimistic view of the subprime losses and assert his own belief that they will not stop at 5%.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to maintain his credibility and assert his expertise in the financial market.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and drives the narrative forward. The characters' conflicting interests and confrontations create a palpable sense of tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist challenging the CEO's views and facing potential consequences for his actions. The uncertainty adds to the tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with characters facing potential financial ruin and ethical dilemmas. The outcome of their decisions could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, dilemmas, and character dynamics. It sets the stage for future plot developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the protagonist's bold challenge to the CEO's optimistic view, leading to unexpected outcomes and character actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between blind optimism and realistic skepticism in the financial market. This challenges the protagonist's belief in the system and his ability to predict outcomes.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from frustration to concern, as the characters navigate the challenges of the financial world. The high stakes add to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reveals the characters' personalities and motivations. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high-stakes financial setting, sharp dialogue, and tense interactions between characters. The conflict and suspense keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments and character interactions. The rhythm keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is well-formatted and drives the narrative forward.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and skepticism surrounding the mortgage market, particularly through Mark's confrontational questioning of the Option One CEO. This dynamic creates a strong sense of conflict and highlights the absurdity of the situation, which is a key theme in the screenplay.
  • The dialogue is sharp and engaging, particularly Mark's bold assertion that there is a 'zero percent chance' of subprime losses being contained at 5%. This moment serves as a powerful statement against the complacency of the financial industry, but it could benefit from further exploration of the emotional stakes for Mark and his team.
  • The transition from the ballroom to Mike Burry's office is effective in contrasting the public facade of confidence in the mortgage market with the private turmoil Burry is experiencing. However, the emotional weight of Burry's situation could be enhanced by providing more context about his mental state and the impact of investor withdrawals on him personally.
  • The use of humor, particularly through Vinny's whisper and Mark's exaggerated hand gesture, adds a layer of levity to an otherwise serious scene. However, the humor should not undermine the gravity of the financial crisis; it should serve to enhance the tension rather than distract from it.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere. For example, describing the reactions of the audience during the CEO's speech or the physical setting of the ballroom could help ground the viewer in the moment and amplify the stakes.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of silence or a reaction shot from the audience after Mark's bold statement to emphasize the shock and tension in the room.
  • Explore Mark's internal conflict further by including a moment of reflection or doubt after he confronts the CEO, which could add depth to his character and highlight the risks he is taking.
  • Incorporate more sensory details in the ballroom setting, such as the sounds of murmurs or the atmosphere of tension, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Strengthen the transition to Mike Burry's office by including a visual or auditory cue that connects the two scenes, such as the sound of the CEO's voice fading out as we cut to Burry's silence.
  • Consider adding a line or two from Burry's assistant that reflects the growing anxiety in the office, which could serve to heighten the stakes and foreshadow the impending crisis.



Scene 40 - Rhythms of Frustration
A103 INT. BURRY’S BASEMENT - LATER A103

MUSIC: BY DEMONS BE DRIVEN

Michael sits behind drums and furiously plays double kick
drum heavy metal drums to Pantera. Finally he breaks the
sticks from playing so hard.

MIKE
AAAHHHHH!!!!

We hear his wife from upstairs.

WIFE (O.C.)
Michael! Is everything okay?

MIKE
Yes honey!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 81.


103 INT. TRADE SHOW FLOOR - LATER 103

MERRILL REP
We can maybe sell you BBB level
swaps at five-hundred basis points.
Maybe.

Ben and Charlie are testing the waters for a deal with the
MERRILL REP at the Merrill Lynch Booth.

CHARLIE
Five-hundred? You want us to pay a
5% premium on a swap? We paid 2% on
the ones we got two months ago!

MERRILL REP
Good for you. That was two months
ago. Trust me, you’re not gonna do
any better anywhere else.

CHARLIE
So you’re pricing the swaps like
the bond is going to collapse but
the bond value has gone up? Really?
How are you not in jail? Or at
least-

BEN
Charlie, let’s go. Thanks guys!
We’ll consider it.

He takes Charlie firmly by the arm, marches him away.

CHARLIE
What the hell is going on?

BEN
People are starting to wake up. Not
enough for them to adjust the
values on the bonds but enough to
stop giving the swaps away. Cheap
bets are over.

The Rich Bear Rep passes them.

BEAR REP #1
Hey! It’s Brown hole!

CHARLIE
Fuck off!

BEN
You have to calm down.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 81A.


104 EXT. CASINO HOTEL - POOL SIDE - SAME TIME 104

Jamie in polo shirt and shorts is talking to a bookish but
pretty college friend who works at the SEC, EVIE, 30.

EVIE
I can’t believe you got into
finance Jamie. I always thought
you’d... I don’t know. Be living
off canned beans on your sailboat
or mooching off older women at the
yachtclub or something...

JAMIE
Thanks. Actually we’ve been
investing in housing bonds and I
wanted to ask, is the SEC worried
about them? I mean, I know you
can’t tell me specifics.. Just
generally.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 82.


EVIE
Oh we don’t investigate mortgage
bonds. Truth is since we had our
budget cut we don’t investigate
much.

JAMIE
Really? Then why are you here? I
thought-

EVIE
I’m not here for the SEC. I’m here
on my own dime.
(she leans in)
I’m floating my resume to some big
banks. How’s your brother by the
way?

JAMIE
He’s good.
(back to business)
How are you floating your resume to
big banks when you’re supposed to
be the ones policing them?

EVIE
Grow up Jamie. 90% of the people at
the SEC are just there to get
better jobs.
(she sees someone)
Hey Doug!
(then to Jamie)
He’s at Goldman.

She gets up and leaves. The guy she’s approaching grabs her.

DOUG
Look everyone! It’s regulatory
capture!

He pulls Evie and himself into the pool. A whole group of
bankers laugh while dance music plays. Jamie looks sickened.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a dynamic scene, Michael passionately plays heavy metal drums in his basement, losing himself in the music until he breaks his drumsticks, while his wife checks on him from upstairs. Meanwhile, at a trade show, Ben and Charlie express frustration over high swap pricing during negotiations with a Merrill representative, highlighting the shifting market. Concurrently, Jamie discusses housing bond concerns with her college friend Evie, who reveals the SEC's budget cuts and her disillusionment with the agency. The scene culminates with Evie being playfully pulled into the pool by a banker, leaving Jamie feeling disturbed by the carefree attitude surrounding serious financial issues.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Realistic character interactions
  • Relevant and timely theme
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too technical for general audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and complexity of the financial dealings while showcasing the characters' skepticism and frustration with the system.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exposing the corruption and greed in the financial world is well-developed and drives the scene forward with a sense of urgency.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as the characters navigate the murky waters of the financial market, facing challenges and making decisions that impact their futures.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique blend of heavy metal music, domestic interactions, and societal pressures, creating an authentic and engaging portrayal of the protagonist's internal and external conflicts.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined and their reactions to the unfolding events add depth and authenticity to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their perspectives and actions, setting the stage for further development in the story.

Internal Goal: 8

Michael's internal goal in this scene is to release his frustration and anger through playing the drums, reflecting his need for an outlet for his emotions.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to maintain a sense of normalcy and reassure his wife that everything is okay, reflecting the immediate challenge of balancing his passion for music with his domestic responsibilities.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters and the corrupt financial system creates a high-stakes and intense atmosphere, driving the scene forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals, power dynamics, and emotional conflicts creating obstacles for the protagonist to overcome.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of financial ruin, deception, and the characters' moral dilemmas heighten the tension and urgency of the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by revealing crucial information, escalating conflicts, and setting up future plot developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected interactions, emotional outbursts, and shifting power dynamics, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's desire for creative expression and his societal obligations, as seen in his wife's concern for his well-being.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from frustration and anger to skepticism and determination, resonating with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and conflicts, adding layers to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotions, dynamic character interactions, and conflicting goals, keeping the audience invested in the protagonist's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, balancing moments of intensity with quieter character interactions, enhancing the overall impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting, enhancing readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct settings, character interactions, and a progression of events, effectively building tension and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively contrasts the intense, chaotic energy of Michael Burry's drumming with the more subdued, cynical conversations happening at the trade show and poolside. This juxtaposition highlights Burry's emotional state and the growing tension in the financial world, but it could benefit from clearer thematic connections between the two settings.
  • The dialogue in the trade show scene feels realistic and captures the frustration of the characters, particularly Charlie's incredulity at the Merrill Rep's pricing. However, the transition from Burry's intense drumming to the trade show could be smoother to maintain narrative flow. The abrupt shift may disorient the audience.
  • Jamie's conversation with Evie introduces important commentary on regulatory capture and the SEC's ineffectiveness, which is a crucial theme in the story. However, the dialogue could be more impactful if it included a stronger emotional resonance or personal stakes for Jamie, making the audience feel the weight of the situation.
  • The humor in the Bear Rep's interaction with Charlie adds a layer of levity, but it risks undermining the seriousness of the financial crisis. Balancing humor with the gravity of the situation is essential to maintain the scene's tension and urgency.
  • The scene ends with Jamie feeling sickened by the situation, which is a strong emotional note. However, it could be enhanced by showing more of Jamie's internal conflict or reaction to Evie's actions, deepening the audience's connection to his character.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Michael Burry after his intense drumming session, perhaps showing how the music serves as an outlet for his frustrations about the financial world, creating a stronger thematic link between the two scenes.
  • Smooth the transition between Burry's basement and the trade show by using a visual or auditory cue, such as fading out the music and fading in the sounds of the trade show, to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Enhance Jamie's dialogue with Evie by incorporating a personal anecdote or emotional reaction that illustrates his disillusionment with the financial industry, making the stakes feel more immediate and relatable.
  • Maintain the humor in the Bear Rep's interaction but ensure it serves to highlight the absurdity of the situation rather than detracting from the seriousness of the financial crisis. This can be achieved by contrasting the humor with more serious dialogue from Charlie.
  • Deepen Jamie's emotional response at the end of the scene by showing a physical reaction, such as him stepping back or looking away, to emphasize his discomfort with the reality of the financial world and the implications of Evie's actions.



Scene 41 - The High Stakes of Morality
105 INT. CASINO RESTAURANT - LUNCH 105

Jamie, Ben and Charlie are eating chopped salads.

CHARLIE
Even Bear’s doubled their prices.
And they keep calling us Brown
Hole.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 82A.


BEN
Don’t take it personally. You just
don’t have the money or the
reputation.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 83.


CHARLIE
So I’m a broke loser with a bad
reputation but don’t take it
personally?

BEN
They’re assholes. Let it go.
(to Jamie)
Did your friend from the SEC give
any perspective?

JAMIE
The SEC isn’t even paying
attention. Their budget has been
gutted and they know zip about the
housing market. It was actually
depressing.

BEN
People wanted small government,
they got it.

They eat for a beat, defeated.

CHARLIE
Wait a minute... We need a deal
that we can afford and they can’t
refuse, right? What if we bet
against the AA rated tranches of
the CDOs? What’s cheaper than AA?

BEN
Come on Charlie. AA is so safe they
barely even show up on the risk
sheets for the banks.

CHARLIE
Are they really though? We know if
the bottom tranches fail at over 8%
the double AA tranches are worth
zero. We also know the ratings
agencies and the SEC are asleep at
the wheel. I bet those AAs are more
like Bs.

Jamie fishes some paper work out of his bag and points to
some numbers.

JAMIE
Charlie’s right. The pay off is 200
to 1. But they don’t see it so
they’re charging pennies on the
dollar to bet against the
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 83A.

JAMIE (CONT'D)
AAs. With that kind of risk/reward
we’d be fools not to do it.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 84.


Ben looks at the returns on AA swaps.

BEN
Just when I start thinking you guys
are clowns... No one on the planet
is betting against AA. The banks’ll
think we’re high or having a
stroke... And they’ll take every
dime we have.

Charlie LOOKS TO CAMERA

CHARLIE
This is the thing we did that no
one else did. Even Burry and Baum
didn’t imagine the AAs could fail.

MUSIC: A song with a beat like US v THEM by LCD SOUND SYSTEM


106 MONTAGE OF CHARLIE, JAMIE AND BEN MEETING DIFFERENT BANKS 106
OVER DRINKS, LUNCH, BLACKJACK TABLE, POOL SIDE.

GOLDMAN REP
I don’t understand, you want to bet
against AA?

BEAR REP #1
Brother, I will sell you as much as
you want. And you can shoot with us
anytime you want.

MERRIL REP
What’s the angle here?

BEN
No angle. We want 10 million
against a AA housing CDO.

LEHMAN BROTHERS REP
Yes. Of course yes. Wow. I thought
this trip might be a waste of time.
Wow.

MORGAN STANLEY REP
Yes. Yes and yes.


107 INT. CASINO - DAY 107

As they get AROUND A CORNER, Charlie AND Jamie SILENTLY
CELEBRATE AND EVEN DANCE A BIT. But Ben tells them to cool
it.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 85.


BEN
Do you even know what you just did?

CHARLIE
Yeah, we made the deal of our
careers.

BEN
You just bet against the American
economy. If we’re right it means
people lose homes, jobs, retirement
savings, pensions. These aren’t
just numbers. For every point
unemployment goes up, 40 thousand
people die. Did you know that?

CHARLIE
No...

Jamie and Charlie look like kids who have been caught teasing
an old person.

JAMIE
We were just excited...

BEN
Just don’t fucking dance. Okay?

He walks off. Exiting through double doors.

JAMIE
Where are you going?

BEN
Home! I’ll call you when things get
bad.

CHARLIE
Alright Ben! Talk soon!
(then to Jamie)
Jesus. I didn’t know it could be
that bad for the country. I guess
this hasn’t really hit me yet. I
just got scared. Are you scared?

JAMIE
I’m always scared.
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In a casino restaurant, Jamie, Ben, and Charlie discuss the rising prices at Bear's and the SEC's inattention to the housing market. Charlie proposes a risky investment strategy to bet against AA-rated tranches of CDOs, which Jamie supports, excited by the potential payoff. They meet with bank representatives who surprisingly agree to their proposal, leading to a moment of celebration. However, Ben warns them about the moral implications and potential human cost of their actions, creating tension among the trio. The scene shifts from light-hearted banter to a serious reflection on their decisions, ending with Ben leaving, concerned about the consequences, while Jamie and Charlie are left to grapple with the reality of their choices.
Strengths
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Compelling dialogue
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of resolution for the characters' moral dilemma

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the high stakes and moral dilemma faced by the characters, with a strong emotional impact and thought-provoking dialogue.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of betting against the American economy is a bold and innovative idea that drives the scene's conflict and emotional depth.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in setting up the major conflict and moral dilemma that will impact the story's trajectory.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the financial crisis of 2008, presenting a unique take on the events leading up to the collapse. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and grounded in reality, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their reactions to the situation feel authentic and relatable.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo a significant shift in perspective and understanding, particularly in realizing the real-world consequences of their decisions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to make a risky financial bet against the American economy. This reflects their desire for success, recognition, and financial gain, but also reveals their moral dilemma and internal conflict.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to secure a deal to bet against AA rated tranches of CDOs. This goal reflects the immediate challenge they face in the financial market and their desire to make a profitable investment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene is high, as the characters grapple with the ethical implications of their actions and the potential impact on society.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing moral dilemmas, financial risks, and internal conflicts. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters will navigate the challenges they face.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, as the characters' actions have the potential to impact the economy and the lives of many people.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a major turning point and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the risky financial bet taken by the characters and the moral implications of their actions. The audience is left wondering how the bet will play out and what consequences it will have.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethical implications of betting against the American economy. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about risk-taking, morality, and the impact of their actions on society.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a strong emotional impact, evoking feelings of concern, regret, and moral dilemma in the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful, revealing the characters' motivations, fears, and ethical considerations in a compelling way.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, fast-paced dialogue, and moral dilemmas faced by the characters. The tension and suspense keep the audience invested in the outcome of the financial bet.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective, with a good balance of dialogue, action, and character development. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and builds tension towards the climax.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The scene is easy to read and understand.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a dialogue-heavy, character-driven scene in a financial drama. The pacing and rhythm of the dialogue contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between the characters' excitement over their financial strategy and the moral implications of their actions. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the emotional weight of their decisions. For instance, while Ben's warning about the human cost of their actions is impactful, it could be further emphasized through more visceral imagery or personal anecdotes.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the transition from the celebratory mood to the sobering realization of the consequences feels slightly abrupt. A more gradual shift in tone could help the audience digest the gravity of their actions before Ben's exit.
  • The use of humor, particularly in Charlie's self-deprecating remarks, adds a layer of relatability to the characters. However, the humor could be balanced with more serious reflections on their situation. This would create a richer emotional landscape and allow the audience to connect more deeply with the characters' internal conflicts.
  • The montage sequence is a strong visual element, but it could be enhanced by incorporating more varied reactions from the bank representatives. This would provide a clearer picture of the differing attitudes towards their risky proposal and heighten the tension as they navigate the financial landscape.
  • The dialogue is generally sharp and engaging, but some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact. For example, Ben's warning about the consequences of their actions could be more concise while still retaining its emotional weight.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection for Charlie and Jamie after Ben's warning, allowing them to process the implications of their actions before celebrating. This could involve a brief exchange where they express their concerns or doubts.
  • Incorporate more visual cues during the montage to show the varying reactions of the bank representatives, such as facial expressions or body language, to emphasize the risks they are taking.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by including a personal story or statistic from Ben that illustrates the real-world impact of their financial decisions, making the consequences feel more immediate and relatable.
  • Tighten the dialogue to ensure that each line serves a purpose, either advancing the plot or deepening character development. This will help maintain the scene's momentum and keep the audience engaged.
  • Consider using a more gradual tonal shift from excitement to realization, perhaps by interspersing moments of doubt or concern among the celebratory dialogue, to create a more nuanced emotional arc.



Scene 42 - The Unraveling Truth
108 INT. TABEMASU ASIAN RESTAURANT - HOTEL - NIGHT 108

MUSIC: Traditional Japanese string version of something like
LIONEL RITCHIE’S EASY
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 85A.


A tranquil waterfall out of plate glass windows. Jared walks
in with Mark and his team.

JARED VENNETT
Alight Mark Baum from Frontpoint
Partners... You’re nervous you and
your swaps are being played? Now
you get to meet who you’re betting
against. Try not to get too
righteous and listen for once.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 86.


MARK
Okay, okay. So who is this guy?

FLASH CUT: Mark sits at a table. His dining partner is MR.
CHAU (50), Chinese-American, an expensive suit.

MR. CHAU
I'm a CDO manager. At Harding
Advisors.

MARK
I didn't know there was anything to
manage.

MR. CHAU
We select the securities that go
into the CDO portfolio, and monitor
the assets. I do most of Merrill
Lynch's CDOs.

Mark glances through hibachi steam to see Jared... raising
his beer. Meet your counter-party. Meet the sucker.

MARK
And you represent investors or the
bank?

MR. CHAU
The investors.

MARK
But Merrill's only going to send
you buyers if you put Merrill’s
bonds in your CDOs.

MR. CHAU
Let’s just say Merrill and I have a
good relationship.

Mark can't tell if Mr. Chau is being naive or just arch.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 87.


MARK
Are you worried about rising
default rates?

MR. CHAU
I assume no risk for these products
myself.

MARK
Let me get this straight. The bank
calls you up. Gives you bonds they
want to sell. Gives you the
clients. Gives you the money to run
your business. Gives you fat fees
for doing so. But you represent the
investors?

Mr. Chau finally chuckles -- he’s actually being defiant.

MR. CHAU
Yes. But my office is not in the
Merrill Lynch building. We’re in
New Jersey.

MARK
20 minutes away.

MR. CHAU
5 if we use a helicopter.

MOMENTS LATER: Vinny, Jared and Danny nervously watch Mark
huddle with Mr. Chau. Mark’s animated, speaking too loudly.

MARK
Say that again! Say that again!

JARED
Uh-oh. Your boss is about to
explode.

VINNY
No. He’s too curious to explode.

Ignoring his food, Mark scribbles furiously on a napkin.

MARK
CDO A has parts of CDO B and CDO B
has parts CDO A, but then both get
put inside CDO C?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 88-89.


MR. CHAU
That one's called a CDO Squared.
And then there are CDOs made up of
the opposite side of the bet you
made with your swaps. We call them
synthetic CDOs.

MARK
“Synthetic CDOs?”

LATER: Mark’s completely disheveled now, tie off. Mr. Chau is
as decorous as ever, enjoying his dessert.

Another paper napkin slaps the counter.

MARK (CONT’D)
Okay. This is a pool of, say, 50
million in subprime loans. How much
money could be out there betting on
it through these synthetic CDOs and
swaps?! Right now?! Tonight?!

MR. CHAU
A billion dollars.

MARK
What?!

Mr. Chau shrugs.

MARK (CONT'D)
How much bigger is the market for
insuring mortgage bonds than actual
mortgages?!

MR. CHAU
Twenty times?

We FREEZE on his disoriented expression. *

JARED VENNETT (V.O.) *
If the flawed mortgage bonds that *
Michael Burry discovered were the *
match. And the CDOs Jamie and *
Charlie bet against were the *
kerosene soaked rags... Then the *
synthetic CDO was the atomic bomb *
with a drunk President holding his *
finger over the button. At that *
moment Mark Baum realized the whole *
world economy might collapse. *
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 88-89A.

JARED VENNETT (V.O.) (CONT'D)
But I’m sure you’re wondering one *
thing: what the hell is a *
“synthetic CDO?” Well here is Dr. *
Richard Thaler, the father of *
Behavioral Economics and *
international pop star Selena Gomez *
to explain. *
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense meeting at a Japanese restaurant, Mark Baum confronts Mr. Chau, a CDO manager, about the complexities and risks of collateralized debt obligations (CDOs) and synthetic CDOs. As Mark's agitation grows, he uncovers the alarming reality that the market for insuring mortgage bonds far exceeds the actual mortgages, leading him to a shocking realization about the impending collapse of the financial system. The scene captures Mark's disheveled appearance and urgent demeanor against Mr. Chau's calmness, culminating in a freeze frame of Mark's disoriented expression.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Informative content
  • Tense atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Lack of character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is highly engaging and informative, providing crucial insights into the financial system and setting the stage for potential economic collapse. The tension and confrontational tone keep the audience on edge, while the dialogue is sharp and revealing.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the complexities of CDOs and synthetic CDOs in the context of the looming economic crisis is compelling and well-executed. The scene effectively conveys the high stakes and potential consequences of the characters' actions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene, with key information about the financial market revealed and the characters facing escalating challenges and risks. The scene sets the stage for future developments and raises the stakes for the protagonists.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and complex financial concepts in a compelling and engaging way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and reflect the intricacies of the financial world.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their motivations and conflicts are clearly portrayed. The interactions between Mark, Mr. Chau, and the other characters add depth to the scene and drive the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions and revelations deepen the characters' understanding of the financial crisis and their roles within it.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to understand the intricacies of the financial instruments being discussed and to uncover the potential risks involved. This reflects his desire for knowledge and his fear of a potential economic collapse.

External Goal: 7.5

Mark's external goal is to navigate the meeting with Mr. Chau successfully and gather valuable information about the financial market. This reflects his immediate challenge of dealing with a potentially deceptive counterpart.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene is high, with characters facing off against each other in a battle of wits and strategies. The tension is palpable as the characters navigate the complexities of the financial market and the risks involved.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting interests and power dynamics between the characters that create uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with the characters facing the potential collapse of the global economy and the risks associated with their financial dealings. The decisions made in this scene have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by providing crucial information about CDOs and synthetic CDOs, setting up future conflicts and challenges for the characters. The revelations in this scene have a direct impact on the narrative progression.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in terms of the financial revelations and the power dynamics between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethical implications of financial practices and the power dynamics between investors and banks. Mark's skepticism challenges Mr. Chau's claims of representing investors.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of concern and intrigue, drawing the audience into the high-stakes world of finance and the potential consequences of the characters' actions. While the emotional impact is not overwhelming, the tension and revelations keep the audience engaged.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, informative, and confrontational, adding to the tension and urgency of the scene. The exchanges between the characters reveal their personalities and motivations, while also providing key insights into the financial world.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced dialogue, high tension, and complex financial concepts that keep the audience intrigued.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome of the meeting.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the progression of the meeting and the exchange of information.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and complexity of the financial world, particularly through Mark's interaction with Mr. Chau. However, the dialogue can feel a bit expository at times, as it heavily relies on characters explaining financial concepts. This could alienate viewers who are not familiar with the terminology.
  • Mark's character is portrayed as increasingly animated and desperate for understanding, which is compelling. However, the transition from his initial skepticism to a state of shock could be more gradual to enhance the emotional impact. The moment of realization about the potential collapse of the economy feels rushed.
  • The use of humor, particularly through Mark's sarcastic remarks, adds levity to an otherwise serious topic. However, the balance between humor and the gravity of the situation could be refined. At times, the humor undermines the tension that should be building as Mark uncovers the truth about synthetic CDOs.
  • The visual elements, such as Mark scribbling on a napkin, effectively convey his frantic thought process. However, the scene could benefit from more varied visual cues to emphasize the contrast between the calm restaurant setting and the chaotic implications of their conversation.
  • The voiceover from Jared at the end serves as a powerful narrative device, but it could be more integrated into the scene. Instead of feeling like an afterthought, it should feel like a natural extension of Mark's realization, enhancing the emotional weight of the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider breaking up the exposition with more visual storytelling. Instead of having characters explain concepts, show the implications of those concepts through visuals or actions that illustrate the stakes involved.
  • Enhance the emotional arc of Mark's realization by allowing for a moment of reflection or a physical reaction that conveys his shock. This could be achieved through a close-up shot or a brief pause in dialogue.
  • Refine the humor to ensure it complements the tension rather than detracts from it. Consider using humor to highlight Mark's frustration rather than as a distraction from the seriousness of the situation.
  • Incorporate more dynamic camera movements or angles to reflect the escalating tension in the conversation. For example, a slow zoom on Mark's face as he processes the information could heighten the emotional stakes.
  • Integrate Jared's voiceover more seamlessly into the scene. Perhaps have it play during a moment of silence after Mark's realization, allowing the audience to absorb the weight of the information before transitioning to the next scene.



Scene 43 - The High Stakes of Overconfidence
109 INT. CASINO FLOOR - NIGHT 109 *

SELENA GOMEZ sits at a black jack table with a giant stack of *
chips. She wins another hand and rakes in more chips from the *
PROFESSIONAL DEALER. A crowd cheers her on around the table. *

CROWD *
She can’t lose! That’s seven hands *
in a row! *

SELENA GOMEZ *
So here’s how a synthetic CDO *
works. Let’s say I make a bet of 10 *
million on a black jack hand... *

DR. THALER *
10 million because this hand *
represents a simple mortgage bond. *

She is dealt a Jack and an 8 by the dealer. *

DR. THALER (CONT’D) *
Selena is showing 18 and the dealer *
is showing a seven. So the odds are *
very much in Selena’s favor. 87% to *
be exact. Which are like the great *
odds most perceived the housing *
market to have. *

SELENA GOMEZ *
Did you really create a whole field *
of economic study? *

DR. THALER *
Well is was inspired by the great *
work of others, but yes. *

SELENA GOMEZ *
I have 30 million twitter *
followers. *

DR. THALER *
I have 30,000. *
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 88-89B.


SELENA GOMEZ *
(Trying to be encouraging) *
That’s not bad. *
(back to the explanation) *
So my odds are great. And I am on a *
winning streak. Everyone else here *
wants in on this. I can’t lose, *
right? *

DR. THALER *
We have done countless studies that *
show that people often make this *
error in their thinking. If *
something is happening-- like *
Selena winning seven hands in a row *

SELENA GOMEZ *
Or the housing market going up for *
seven years straight... *

DR. THALER *
Exactly. They think it will go on *
forever. It’s called extrapolation *
bias. People see something *
happening and they extrapolate that *
it will continue to happen. *

SELENA GOMEZ *
So the people who are watching and *
think I can’t lose will make a side *
bet which is the first CDO. *

We see A WOMAN IN GLASSES standing behind SELENA. She turns *
to a BUSINESS MAN. *

WOMAN IN GLASSES *
Wow. I love Selena Gomez. And she’s *
won seven in a row with a seven *
showing for the dealer. I bet you *
50 million she wins and I’ll give *
you three to one odds. *

BUSINESSMAN *
3 to 1 odds? Okay, I’ll take that *
bet. *

DR. THALER *
Then someone behind him decides to *
bet on their bet with someone else. *
That’s synthetic CDO number two. *

There’s a GUY IN A WARRIORS GAME JERSEY talking to a AN OLD *
WOMAN. *
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 88-89C.


GUY IN GAME JERSEY *
Hey I bet you 200 million that lady *
in the glasses wins that bet. *

OLD WOMAN *
She probably will win, she always *
does, so I want a great pay off. *

GUY IN GAME JERSEY *
How about 20 to 1? *

OLD WOMAN *
Deal. *

SELENA GOMEZ *
And this goes on and on and on and *
on.... With more and more CDOs *
betting on the bet on the bet on *
the bet... *

DR. THALER *
This happens all the time. In the *
stock market. In sports. In *
basketball, they call the Hot Hand *
fallacy. A player hits 3 shots in a *
row and everyone thinks he is *
definitely going to make that 4th *
one. We know, from a lot of *
statistical evidence, that there is *
no such thing as hot hands, but *
people refuse to accept that. *

SELENA GOMEZ *
People are cray cray. *

DR. THALER *
I don’t know what that means. *

We see a LONG LINE OF PAIRS OF PEOPLE making bets of *
increasing value and complexity that stretches behind Selena *
and Dr. Thaler at the table down the hall and around the *
corner and out of the doors of the casino. *

SELENA GOMEZ *
And then the dealer plays out his *
hand. *

The dealer turns over a 3, giving him 10 and then turns over *
a King. DEALER WINS. *

SELENA GOMEZ (CONT’D) *
No! How could I lose!? *
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 88-89D.


There is then a long chain reaction of winners and losers’ *
reactions. *

LONG CHAIN OF BETTERS *
Shit! Pay up! Crap! Wait, I lost? I *
want my money! How could Selena *
lose! Nooo!!! *

DR. THALER *
They all should have known the odds *
they could lose. But they got *
overconfident. And because of the *
synthetic CDOs and all the bets on *
bets on bets... The one loss *
becomes thousands of losses. *

SELENA GOMEZ *
And those losers? Pension funds, *
insurance companies. City *
governments all over the world. *
Crazy shit right? *

DR. THALER *
Not crazy, just human. The crazy *
part is assuming people will act *
logically all the time. *

SELENA GOMEZ *
Translation: crazy shit. *
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 90.

SELENA GOMEZ (CONT'D)
*
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 91.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a bustling casino, Selena Gomez captivates a crowd at a blackjack table, winning hand after hand while explaining synthetic CDOs to Dr. Thaler. As her success breeds overconfidence among onlookers, they begin placing complex bets on her continued winning streak. However, when the dealer ultimately wins, shock and disappointment ripple through the crowd, highlighting the dangers of extrapolation bias and the pitfalls of betting on perceived stability.
Strengths
  • Creative analogy using blackjack game
  • Humorous yet informative dialogue
  • Insightful commentary on financial markets
Weaknesses
  • Lack of deep character development
  • Limited emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor with critical commentary on financial markets, providing valuable insight into complex financial instruments in an engaging way.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using a blackjack game to explain synthetic CDOs is innovative and effectively conveys the complexities of financial markets in a relatable manner.

Plot: 7.5

The plot progression in the scene focuses on the explanation of synthetic CDOs and the consequences of overconfidence in financial markets, providing valuable insight into the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on gambling, financial markets, and human behavior. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, offering a unique take on familiar themes.


Character Development

Characters: 7

The characters in the scene serve the purpose of illustrating human biases and behaviors in financial contexts, but they lack deep development or emotional depth.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character arcs in the scene, the characters' perspectives on financial markets and human behavior are subtly challenged.

Internal Goal: 8

Selena Gomez's internal goal is to maintain her winning streak and prove her skill as a gambler. This reflects her desire for success, validation, and recognition in a competitive environment.

External Goal: 7.5

Selena Gomez's external goal is to win the current blackjack hand and continue her winning streak. This goal reflects her immediate challenge of beating the dealer and maintaining her reputation as a skilled gambler.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6.5

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on the cognitive biases and errors that lead to financial misjudgments.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs and values between characters leading to dramatic tension and conflict. The uncertainty of the gambling outcomes adds to the opposition.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes in the scene revolve around the potential financial consequences of overconfidence and misjudgments in the market.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by providing crucial information about synthetic CDOs and setting up the narrative for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the gambling narrative. The outcome of the blackjack hand and the subsequent chain reactions of winners and losers add to the unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the concept of overconfidence and extrapolation bias. Selena Gomez and Dr. Thaler discuss how people often make irrational decisions based on past success or perceived trends, leading to financial losses and systemic risks.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene elicits mild amusement and critical reflection but lacks deep emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, informative, and engaging, effectively conveying the complexities of financial concepts while maintaining a humorous tone.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high-stakes gambling setting. The tension and suspense keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and exposition. The rhythm builds tension and suspense leading to the climax of Selena Gomez's loss.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene is formatted in a standard screenplay format, with clear scene descriptions, character names, and dialogue. The formatting enhances readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions, dialogue, and plot progression. It effectively builds tension and suspense leading to the climax.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses the casino setting to illustrate the concept of synthetic CDOs through a relatable metaphor. However, the dialogue can feel overly expository at times, which may detract from the natural flow of conversation. While it's important to convey complex financial concepts, the characters should engage in a more dynamic exchange that feels less like a lecture and more like a conversation.
  • Selena Gomez's character is portrayed as both a pop star and a financial educator, which is an interesting juxtaposition. However, her dialogue sometimes lacks depth, making her seem more like a mouthpiece for the information rather than a fully realized character. Adding more personal stakes or emotional reactions could enhance her relatability and engagement with the audience.
  • The use of a crowd cheering for Selena creates a lively atmosphere, but it risks overshadowing the critical discussion about the financial system. The cheering could be toned down or used more strategically to emphasize key moments in the dialogue, ensuring that the audience remains focused on the conversation's significance.
  • The scene's pacing is uneven, particularly during the betting exchanges. While the escalating bets illustrate the concept of synthetic CDOs, the rapid-fire nature of the dialogue can be overwhelming. Slowing down the pace during key explanations or reactions could allow the audience to absorb the information more effectively.
  • The final lines of the scene, where Dr. Thaler and Selena discuss the implications of the betting frenzy, are strong but could benefit from a more impactful conclusion. A more dramatic or poignant closing line could leave the audience with a lasting impression of the dangers of overconfidence in the financial system.
Suggestions
  • Consider breaking up the exposition with more character-driven moments. For example, have Selena share a personal anecdote related to risk-taking or gambling that ties into the financial concepts being discussed.
  • Introduce a conflict or tension within the crowd that reflects the stakes of the betting. Perhaps someone in the crowd has a personal connection to the financial implications of the bets being placed, adding emotional weight to the scene.
  • Use visual storytelling to complement the dialogue. For instance, show close-ups of the crowd's reactions during key moments in the betting process to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Incorporate humor or light-hearted banter between Selena and Dr. Thaler to balance the serious subject matter. This could make the scene more engaging and relatable for the audience.
  • Revise the ending to include a more dramatic moment that encapsulates the chaos of the betting and its consequences. This could involve a character's emotional breakdown or a stark realization about the financial system's fragility.



Scene 44 - Confrontation at Tabemasu
110 INT. TABEMASU ASIAN RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS 110

UNFREEZE BAUM AND MR. CHAU. All Mark can think to do is stand
and collect his things.

MARK
I have to go. Honestly I feel a bit
sick. Be careful, Mr. Chau. You'll
make a lot of money... until you
don't.

MR. CHAU
You think I’m a parasite Mr. Baum?
But apparently, society values me
very much.
(a beat)
In fact, let's do this... I'll tell
you what I'm worth, you tell me
what you're worth.

Mark looks straight in the face of everything he hates.

MARK
I don't think you're a parasite, Mr
Chau.
(sincere)
I think you're an idiot.

Mark walks away and past Jared and the guys.

MARK (CONT’D)
Short everything that guy has
touched.
(he walks away)
I want half a billion more in
swaps!

JARED
The collateral calls could bankrupt
you.

MARK
Yup!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 92.


DISSOLVE TO:


111 EXT. CAESAR’S PALACE - THE NEXT MORNING 111

SLO MO: Hungover and broke people straggle out of the hotel
in the bright morning Vegas sun dragging luggage. They get
into valet’d cars and cabs.

Charlie and Jamie exit and jump into a Mercedes SUV. They
looked vaguely ashamed and Charlie looks freaked.

Mr. Chau walks out with a smile on his face, designer luggage
and enters a stretch limo.

A short moment later Mark, Porter, Danny and Vinny walk out.
Mark looks particularly far away and haggard.

Three of the Bear Stearns firing range guys leave with two
BEDRAGGLED PARTY GIRLS. They’re still drunk. They get in a
Humvee Limo.

And last, we see Evie, from the SEC and the Goldman Sachs
guy, Doug, leaving together. They kiss and then he gets in a
Range Rover and she gets in a cab.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In this tense scene, Mark confronts Mr. Chau at the Tabemasu Asian Restaurant, expressing his disdain for Chau's unethical business practices while grappling with his own moral conflicts. Mark warns Chau about the transient nature of wealth and dismisses him as an idiot before leaving, instructing Jared to undermine Chau's success. The scene transitions to the next morning outside Caesar's Palace, where the aftermath of a night of excess is depicted through the contrasting appearances of the characters, highlighting their differing fortunes.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Engaging character dynamics
  • Effective pacing
Weaknesses
  • Some characters' motivations may need further exploration

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines drama and comedy to highlight the characters' emotional turmoil and the high stakes involved in their financial dealings. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, keeping the audience invested in the unfolding events.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the aftermath of a high-stakes financial conference in Vegas is intriguing and offers insight into the characters' motivations and conflicts. The scene effectively conveys the complexities of the financial world and the personal stakes involved.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is engaging and moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts and dilemmas for the characters. The scene sets up future events while resolving immediate tensions, keeping the audience invested in the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on the financial thriller genre with its focus on character dynamics and philosophical conflicts. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed and their personalities shine through in their reactions and dialogue. Each character has distinct motivations and conflicts, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters undergo significant changes in their attitudes and decisions, reflecting the evolving nature of the financial crisis and their personal growth. These changes drive the plot forward and add depth to the characters.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal in this scene is to assert his power and intelligence in a confrontational situation. It reflects his need for control and validation of his own worth.

External Goal: 7

Mark's external goal is to make profitable financial decisions despite the risks involved. It reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the volatile financial market.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, as the characters grapple with their financial decisions and personal values. The escalating tensions keep the audience engaged and eager to see how the conflicts unfold.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations driving the confrontations between characters.

High Stakes: 9

The scene is filled with high stakes as the characters grapple with financial decisions that could have far-reaching consequences. The tension is palpable, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, resolutions, and character developments. It sets the stage for future events while resolving immediate tensions, keeping the narrative engaging and dynamic.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in character dynamics and the uncertain outcomes of the financial decisions being made.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Mark's cynical view of financial success and Mr. Chau's perspective on societal value and worth. This challenges Mark's beliefs about the nature of success and worth.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to tension, as the characters navigate the aftermath of the conference. The audience is emotionally invested in the characters' fates and the unfolding events.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the characters' inner thoughts and emotions. It drives the scene forward and adds layers to the interactions between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high-stakes conflict, sharp dialogue, and dramatic character interactions that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' fates.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct transitions between locations and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic confrontation in a financial thriller, with clear character motivations and escalating tension.


Critique
  • The emotional stakes in this scene are high, with Mark's confrontation with Mr. Chau encapsulating the moral conflict surrounding the financial crisis. However, the transition from Mark's intense realization to his abrupt exit feels slightly rushed, which could benefit from a more gradual build-up to his emotional breakdown.
  • Mark's line, 'I think you're an idiot,' while impactful, lacks a deeper exploration of his feelings. This could be an opportunity to delve into Mark's internal conflict—his disdain for Chau's practices versus his own complicity in the system. Adding a moment of reflection or an internal monologue could enhance the emotional weight of this confrontation.
  • The dialogue effectively conveys tension and urgency, but the pacing might be improved by interspersing more physical actions or reactions from other characters, such as Jared and the team, to emphasize the collective anxiety surrounding their financial decisions.
  • The visual contrast between Mark's disheveled state and Mr. Chau's composed demeanor is strong, yet it could be further emphasized through additional visual cues. For example, using close-ups of their expressions during the conversation could heighten the emotional stakes and showcase the disparity in their moral compasses.
  • The transition to the next morning at Caesar's Palace serves as a stark juxtaposition to the previous scene, highlighting the consequences of the night before. However, the shift could be more impactful with a stronger thematic connection between Mark's confrontation and the aftermath. Perhaps incorporating a voiceover or reflective dialogue from Mark as they exit could tie the two scenes together more cohesively.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Mark reflects on his feelings before confronting Mr. Chau, allowing the audience to better understand his emotional turmoil.
  • Incorporate reactions from the supporting characters during the confrontation to enhance the tension and showcase the collective anxiety of the group.
  • Use close-up shots to capture the emotional expressions of Mark and Mr. Chau during their exchange, emphasizing the stakes of their confrontation.
  • Strengthen the thematic connection between Mark's confrontation and the following scene by including a reflective moment or voiceover that ties the two together.
  • Explore the implications of Mark's decision to short everything Chau has touched by providing a brief moment of hesitation or doubt, which could add depth to his character arc.



Scene 45 - Shared Grief in an Upscale Boutique
112 EXT. UPSCALE CLOTHING BOUTIQUE - "EDIT NEW YORK" - DAY 112

Mark struggles to pull his bag out of a taxi's trunk.

CYNTHIA (PRE-LAP)
Did you eat on the plane?


113 INT. UPSCALE CLOTHING BOUTIQUE - DAY 113

The Baum’s are in an elegant and isolated seating area in
Cynthia’s upscale clothing boutique.

MARK
Yeah.

CYNTHIA
What's wrong? What happened?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 93.


MARK
Things are worse than I thought. I
honestly think the economy might
collapse.

CYNTHIA
Really?

MARK
Yeah.
(then)
And we could end up making a
fortune.

CYNTHIA
Define fortune.

MARK
The fund could make half a billion,
Cynthia. Maybe a lot more.

She had no idea. A SALES CLERK approaches.

SALES CLERK
Ms. Baum should I- ?

CYNTHIA
Not now Paula. You’re my manager. I
trust you.

They lower their voices, lean closer.

CYNTHIA (CONT’D)
A half a billion on one trade?! How
is that even possible?!

MARK
Group think. Fraud. Legalized
corruption. Stupidity.

CYNTHIA
You’ve been saying the whole system
is broken for years Mark. Why are
you shocked?

MARK
It’s all so much uglier and more
twisted than I ever imagined. And
I’m a banker. I’m a part of this
horrible world.

A silence between them. Cynthia refuses to break it.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 93A.


CYNTHIA
And I keep thinking about my
brother. About Paul. And how he...
When he...

CYNTHIA (CONT’D)
When Paul took his own life.

MARK
...We can talk about it later.
You’re at your store-

CYNTHIA
Mark.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 94.


MARK
Before... my brother... committed
suicide... when he told me he was
having bad thoughts... My first
response was... to offer him some
money. My brother was in pain. Real
pain. And I offered him... money.

CYNTHIA
You tried to help. There’s no
perfect way...

MARK
All this greed in the world. Maybe
I’m not so above it. Maybe I’m part
of it. And it’s changed me. Changed
me into a person who’s not able to
reach out to someone who’s hurting
without money being a part of it.
(beat)
Does it bother you that I feel that
way?

CYNTHIA
No. You can’t name a scenario for
how I could have helped him that
doesn’t play in my head every day.
But it bothers me that you’re so
certain you’re right. Because
you’re not.

His silence means yes.

CYNTHIA (CONT’D)
You love to know more than other
people. To be the virtuous one. You
always have Mark. As though you’re
untainted and we’re al the filthy
masses clawing at Noah’s arch. But
the truth is: you're a banker. A
banker who makes more than he
should. A banker who had a terrible
thing happen to a family member.
And now you’re about to make a lot
of money from another terrible
thing. And even you can’t find a
way to make that virtuous. Because
it’s not. It’s just life. And
sometimes it hurts and it’s sad and
it’s scary. So stop trying to fix
the world and just feel the
feelings like all of us. Because
they’re there.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 94A.

CYNTHIA (CONT’D)
And when you act like they’re not
it makes me want to scream.

Mark starts to break.

MARK
(tears up)
Paul was always there for me...
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 95.

MARK (CONT'D)
His face was so smashed we
couldn’t even have an open
casket... He just dropped the
phone...

CYNTHIA
He couldn’t hear anyone. That’s why
he’s dead... There’s nothing you
could have done.

They both sit there holding hands.

CYNTHIA (CONT’D)
Nothing.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In an elegant seating area of Cynthia's clothing boutique, Mark expresses his concerns about the economy and the potential for profit amidst collapse, prompting a moral debate with Cynthia. As they discuss guilt and personal loss, Cynthia reveals her brother Paul's suicide, leading to a vulnerable exchange where both confront their shared pain. The scene culminates in a poignant moment as they hold hands, acknowledging their struggles and the weight of their pasts.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Raw dialogue
  • Character development
  • Intense performances
Weaknesses
  • Heavy emotional content
  • Lack of external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is powerful and emotionally charged, delving deep into the characters' inner struggles and conflicts. The dialogue is poignant and raw, capturing the complexity of human emotions and relationships.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring personal tragedies, moral conflicts, and the pursuit of financial gain in the face of a collapsing economy is thought-provoking and engaging. It adds layers of complexity to the characters and the narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot progression in the scene focuses on character development and emotional revelations, driving the story forward through introspection and personal conflicts. It adds depth to the overall narrative.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to the theme of financial success and personal integrity, exploring the emotional impact of moral decisions in a high-stakes setting. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters are well-developed and multi-dimensional, showcasing their vulnerabilities, regrets, and internal struggles. The emotional depth of the characters drives the scene and adds layers to their personalities.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo significant emotional changes and introspection in the scene, confronting their past traumas, regrets, and moral conflicts. These changes add depth and complexity to their personalities.

Internal Goal: 9

Mark's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his own moral compass and sense of responsibility. He grapples with feelings of guilt and self-doubt, reflecting his deeper need for redemption and self-awareness.

External Goal: 8

Mark's external goal is to navigate the financial opportunities presented to him and make decisions that could impact his future wealth and success. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances of economic uncertainty and potential profit.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on the characters' emotional struggles, regrets, and moral dilemmas. It adds depth and tension to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs and values driving the characters' interactions and decisions. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of the characters' moral dilemmas and personal struggles.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes in the scene revolve around personal tragedies, moral dilemmas, and the pursuit of financial gain in the face of a collapsing economy. The characters' decisions and actions have significant consequences on their lives and relationships.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by delving into the characters' inner struggles and conflicts, revealing their vulnerabilities and emotional complexities. It adds depth to the narrative and sets the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations and character developments that challenge the audience's expectations and assumptions about the characters' motivations and actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethical implications of financial success and personal integrity. Mark and Cynthia debate the morality of their actions and the consequences of their choices, challenging each other's beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.8

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, regret, and introspection. The raw and intense emotions portrayed by the characters resonate with the audience, creating a powerful connection.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue is poignant, raw, and emotionally charged, capturing the inner turmoil and conflicts of the characters. It effectively conveys the complexity of their emotions and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional dialogue, complex character relationships, and moral dilemmas that keep the audience invested in the characters' struggles and decisions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, allowing the characters' internal struggles and ethical dilemmas to unfold in a compelling and engaging manner.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character dialogue, and narrative direction. The formatting enhances the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a well-defined structure that effectively builds tension and emotional depth through dialogue and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness in conveying the characters' internal struggles.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional turmoil of Mark and Cynthia, showcasing their personal struggles against the backdrop of the financial crisis. The dialogue is poignant and reveals deep character insights, particularly Mark's guilt and Cynthia's frustration with his moral superiority.
  • However, the pacing feels uneven at times. The transition from discussing the potential financial gain to the heavy topic of suicide could be smoother. The abrupt shift in tone may leave the audience feeling disoriented. A more gradual build-up to the emotional climax could enhance the impact.
  • Cynthia's character is strong, but her dialogue could benefit from more subtlety. While her points are valid, the delivery feels somewhat didactic at times. Finding a balance between her emotional outburst and the need to convey her perspective could make her character more relatable and nuanced.
  • Mark's internal conflict is compelling, but the scene could delve deeper into his feelings of complicity in the financial system. More internal monologue or visual cues could help convey his struggle without relying solely on dialogue.
  • The setting of an upscale clothing boutique is interesting but could be more thematically tied to the conversation. Exploring how the environment reflects their emotional states or the broader societal issues at play could add depth to the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of silence or a visual cue that emphasizes the weight of Mark's realization about the economy collapsing before diving into the personal discussion. This could help set the emotional tone more effectively.
  • Introduce a physical element to the scene that symbolizes their emotional states, such as Mark fidgeting with an item from the boutique or Cynthia arranging clothes, to visually represent their inner turmoil.
  • Incorporate more subtext in Cynthia's dialogue. Instead of directly stating her frustrations, allow her to express them through actions or less explicit language, which can create a more engaging and layered conversation.
  • Explore Mark's internal conflict through flashbacks or brief memories that illustrate his relationship with his brother, providing context for his guilt and enhancing the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • Consider ending the scene with a more ambiguous note, leaving the audience to ponder the implications of their conversation rather than providing a clear resolution. This could enhance the emotional weight and provoke thought about the broader themes of greed and personal responsibility.



Scene 46 - Navigating Uncertainty
114 INT. WAITING AREA - PEDIATRIC PSYCH CENTER - DUSK 114

Mike's son Nicholas plays alone, talking to himself about the
different parts of a BACKHOE LOADER. Stabilizer
legs...bucket...atriculated arm...

Mike enters. His Wife's been waiting, annoyed, gestures to
her watch. Where were you?

MIKE
I’m sorry I’m late. Everything’s
falling apart at work. People want
to remove their money from the
fund. I don’t know what to do.

His wife doesn’t respond.

MIKE (CONT’D)
What’s wrong. Is Nicholas okay?

MIKE'S WIFE
(upset, quiet)
They think it's Asperger's
Syndrome.

MIKE
No. What? What...what's the
symptomology?


115 INT. LIVING ROOM - BURRY HOUSE - NIGHT 115

Mike has a stack of books: Attwood's The Complete Guide to
Asperger's, Baron-Cohen's Mindblindness, etc.

Sceptical, he chooses A Parent's Guide and reads...
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 96.


MIKE (O.S.)
"The first sign a child is on the
Autism spectrum is often a hobby.
It will be one that is solitary and
idiosyncratic, and it will
completely obsess the child."

Mike's surprised, this actually resonates.

JUMP CUTS: A dizzying whirl of TEXT PASSAGES fly at us...

MIKE (O.S.) (CONT'D)
"...few real peer- to-peer
relationships...less eye contact...
...ability to quickly absorb
complex systems ...love of
computers... math... good with
numbers

Mike stops reading. Sweating. Thunderstruck.

A strange truth settles over his face.


116 INT. HOSPITAL ROOF - SAN JOSE - DAY 116

Mike has sought counsel from a MED SCHOOL FRIEND, a psych
ward doctor currently self-medicating on a joint.

MED SCHOOL FRIEND
This is good, a diagnosis like
this, as an adult, it's all upside.
You don’t have to feel like there’s
something wrong with you anymore.
Now you know. Mystery is solved.

MIKE
What's the upside of having
Aspergers?

MED SCHOOL FRIEND
C'mon, Burry, who else but an Aspie
actually reads entire bond
prospectuses?! Your whole life your
brain's told you one thing and
society another. Now, you get to
stop listening to society. Stop
caring what we think! Don't you get
it? We're normal. We can't keep up.

CLOSE on Mike, taken with the idea, and its implications.

MIKE (O.S.)
"To All Investors"
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 97.


MUSIC: A heavy metal song like METALLICA’S EYE OF THE
BEHOLDER fades in.


117 INT. SCION - MIKE'S OFFICE - DAY 117

Mike types an email. He is alone in the office with empty
desks outside.

MIKE (V.O.)
"As you may know, our agreement
allows me to take extraordinary
measures when markets aren't
functioning properly. I currently
have reason to believe the mortgage
bond market is fraudulent. So in
order to protect investors from
this fraudulent market
I've decided to restrict investors’
withdrawals until further
notice. Sincerely. Dr. Michael
Burry."

Mike breathes deep, and hits SEND.

He sits listening to the quiet hum of office outside his open
door. The distant highway.

A very long beat.

Slowly at first, isolated, then gathering like an angry
storm, the office PHONES begin to RING and his email box
begins to ding.

One email stands out: From Lawrence Fields. The subject: I’M
SUING.

CUT TO:


118 OVER BLACK WE SEE THE QUOTE: 118

“Everyone, deep in their hearts, is waiting for the end of
the world to come.” - Haruki Murakami, 1Q84



We DISSOLVE to TV Channels flipping from one to the next.

1) SOME SORT OF FLUFFY POP ENTERTAINMENT, a sitcom, game
show, reality show.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 98.


2) BARRY BONDS defends himself in a press conference.

3) Footage celebrating Lance Armstrong.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a pediatric psych center's waiting area, Mike arrives late to find his son Nicholas engrossed in play. His wife expresses concern about Nicholas potentially having Asperger's Syndrome, prompting Mike to research the condition. As he learns more, he consults a med school friend who suggests that a diagnosis could be liberating. Inspired, Mike takes bold action at work to protect investors from fraud, leading to chaos as his email triggers a flurry of responses, including a legal threat from a colleague. The scene captures Mike's internal struggle with his son's future and his own identity amidst rising tensions.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Pivotal decision-making
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in some character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally charged and impactful, revealing a crucial turning point for the character of Mike. It effectively conveys the internal conflict and sets the stage for future developments in the plot.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring personal struggles and self-discovery within the context of a larger financial crisis adds depth and complexity to the overall story. It enhances the character development and thematic richness of the screenplay.

Plot: 9

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene through the revelation of Mike's son's potential diagnosis and his subsequent decision to take action in the face of financial fraud. It sets up important conflicts and character arcs for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on financial markets and medical diagnoses, blending personal and professional challenges in a compelling way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters, especially Mike, are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their vulnerabilities, strengths, and internal conflicts. The interactions between characters are compelling and add depth to the overall narrative.

Character Changes: 9

The character of Mike undergoes significant internal changes in this scene, as he comes to terms with his son's potential diagnosis and makes a bold decision in the face of financial fraud. This pivotal moment marks a turning point in his character arc.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to understand and come to terms with the potential diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome for his son and possibly himself. This reflects his deeper fear of not being able to protect his family and his desire to find a sense of belonging and understanding.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the financial market and protect investors from potential fraud. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in his career and the pressure to make difficult decisions.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The scene contains internal conflicts within the characters, particularly Mike, as he grapples with personal and professional challenges. The emotional stakes are high, driving the tension and drama of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges in both his personal and professional life that test his beliefs, values, and decisions. The uncertainty of the outcome adds tension and suspense to the scene.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, both personally for Mike in terms of his son's potential diagnosis and professionally in his decision to take action against financial fraud. The consequences of these choices will have far-reaching effects on the characters and the storyline.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new conflicts, revelations, and decisions that will have a lasting impact on the narrative. It sets the stage for future developments and adds depth to the overall plot.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected twists in the protagonist's personal and professional life, keeping the audience on edge and eager to see how the story unfolds.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around societal norms and individual identity. The protagonist grapples with the idea of being 'normal' and the expectations of society versus embracing his unique traits and abilities.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of empathy, concern, and introspection in the audience. The personal struggles and revelations of the characters resonate deeply, creating a powerful connection with the viewer.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is poignant and impactful, effectively conveying the emotional turmoil and internal struggles of the characters. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines personal drama, financial intrigue, and emotional depth to create a compelling narrative that keeps the audience invested in the protagonist's journey.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing emotional moments with technical details, creating a sense of urgency and introspection that drives the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions and transitions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and character dynamics.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct locations, character interactions, and a progression of events that build tension and emotional depth. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Mike's internal conflict regarding his son's potential diagnosis and his own professional turmoil. However, the transition between the waiting area and the living room could be smoother to maintain narrative flow. The abrupt jump cuts may disorient the audience, making it harder to follow Mike's emotional journey.
  • The dialogue between Mike and his wife feels somewhat stilted and lacks emotional depth. While it conveys the necessary information, it could benefit from more subtext or emotional nuance to reflect the weight of their situation. The wife's silence and annoyance could be expanded upon to show her emotional state more vividly.
  • The use of voiceover to convey Mike's thoughts while reading about Asperger's is a strong choice, but the rapid-fire text passages may overwhelm the viewer. Instead of a dizzying whirl, consider using a more gradual reveal of the information to allow the audience to digest the implications of what Mike is learning.
  • The med school friend's dialogue is insightful but could be more grounded. The character feels somewhat archetypal as the 'free-spirited doctor.' Adding more unique traits or quirks could make him feel more real and relatable, enhancing the scene's authenticity.
  • The heavy metal music choice at the end is a bold stylistic choice, but it may clash with the emotional weight of the scene. Consider whether this music enhances or detracts from the gravity of Mike's decision to restrict withdrawals. A more subdued score might better reflect the tension and seriousness of the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more physicality to the characters' interactions, especially between Mike and his wife. Small gestures or expressions can convey their emotional states more effectively than dialogue alone.
  • To improve the pacing, try to intersperse Mike's reading with brief reactions or flashbacks that illustrate his memories or feelings about his son. This could create a more dynamic visual experience and deepen the emotional impact.
  • Explore the wife's perspective more thoroughly. Perhaps include a line or two that reveals her fears or frustrations about Nicholas's potential diagnosis, which would add depth to her character and their relationship.
  • Instead of a rapid-fire delivery of information about Asperger's, consider using a more narrative approach where Mike reflects on specific traits that resonate with him, allowing the audience to connect with his realization more intimately.
  • Evaluate the music choice at the end of the scene. If the intention is to create a sense of urgency or chaos, ensure that it aligns with the emotional tone of Mike's decision. Alternatively, consider a more somber or reflective piece that underscores the gravity of his actions.



Scene 47 - Tensions Rise as the Financial Crisis Unfolds
119 INT. BROWNFIELD OFFICE - NYC LOFT - DAY 119

Charlie is the one flipping through the TV channels. Jamie is
on his lap top. They’re restless, tense and killing time.

April 2, 2007

The Crash Begins

JAMIE
Will you stop changing the
channels? You’re driving me crazy.
Just put the business news on.

Charlie turns the channel to business news.

CHARLIE
Fine.

Jamie stops and watches while Charlie rolls over on the
couch.

JAMIE
Holy shit. Did you see that?

CHARLIE
See what?

JAMIE
On the crawl!

He grabs the remote and rewinds and freezes the TV. On the
crawl at the bottom of the financial news show we see:
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 99.


Nation's second-largest mortgage lender bankrupt.

JAMIE (CONT’D)
It’s starting.

CHARLIE
I’m going to call my Mom.


120 INT. FRONTPOINT OFFICE - DAY 120

Vinny, Danny and Porter watch Kathy, thin again, yelling at
Mark in the Conference Room.

ON A WALL TV: The FED CHAIRMAN is speaking to Congress.

The Dow is down 283 points.

BERNANKE (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE)
...We believe the effect of the
troubles in the subprime sector on
the broader housing market will
likely be limited, and we do not
expect significant spillovers from
the subprime market to the rest of
the economy--

VINNY
Turn off all the financial news.
They’re in crazy land. We’re trying
to stay in reality.

An assistant turns off all the TVs in the office.

Danny Moses, on the phone yells over to Vinny.

DANNY MOSES
Duetsche says the CDOs still
haven’t lost any value!

VINNY
The banks are holding the value til
they can dump their position...
They know now.

The DOOR opens. Kathy and her minions storm off... and out.

Mark emerges beaten, yet hardened.

VINNY (CONT’D)
Well?

MARK
Kathy wants us to dump our shorts.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 100.


PORTER
What else is new?

MARK
She says Morgan Stanley will buy
them.

DANNY
What?! Holy shit. Vinny’s right,
they need our shorts. They know.

VINNY
The whole time we were wondering
who’s on the other side of this bet
and it’s the big banks themselves.
They believed their own bullshit.

DANNY
What’d you tell Kathy?

MARK
I told her we’re not selling shit.
If Morgan needs to lose half a
billion cause they screwed up it’s
not my problem.

VINNY
So now what’d we do?

MARK
Hold on.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a New York City loft office, Charlie and Jamie anxiously monitor the news about the financial crisis, learning that the second-largest mortgage lender has gone bankrupt. Jamie urges Charlie to focus on business news, while in another office, Vinny, Danny, and Porter dismiss the reports as delusional. Mark, emerging from a meeting with Kathy, refuses her demand to sell their shorts, asserting that the situation is not their problem. The scene captures the growing tension and uncertainty as the financial market begins to unravel.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Compelling plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual elements
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is intense, gripping, and sets the stage for the climax of the story. The tension is palpable, and the characters' defiance adds depth to their personalities.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on the beginning of the financial crash and the characters' resistance to pressure, is compelling and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 9.2

The plot of the scene is crucial as it marks the turning point in the story, setting the stage for the characters' actions and decisions in the face of a crisis.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the financial crisis, showcasing the internal struggles and ethical dilemmas faced by characters in the financial industry.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with their reactions to the unfolding events revealing their personalities and motivations. The conflict between them adds depth to their relationships.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo subtle changes in their attitudes and beliefs, setting the stage for their future actions and decisions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the unfolding financial crisis and make decisions that align with their values and beliefs.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to make strategic financial decisions in response to the crisis and maintain their position in the market.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, with the characters facing internal and external pressures that drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and decisions.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters face the possibility of financial ruin and moral dilemmas that could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major conflict and setting the characters on a new trajectory, leading to the climax of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the characters' conflicting motivations and the evolving financial crisis, keeping the audience on edge about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' beliefs about the financial system and their ethical stance on profiting from the crisis.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from anxiety to defiance, keeping the audience emotionally engaged and invested in the characters' fates.

Dialogue: 8.8

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and conflicts effectively. The confrontational exchanges heighten the tension in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its high-stakes drama, sharp dialogue, and fast-paced action, keeping the audience invested in the characters' decisions and conflicts.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' decisions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, enhancing the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the escalating tension and conflict in the financial world.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and urgency of the financial crisis as it unfolds, showcasing the characters' reactions to breaking news. However, the pacing could be improved; the transition from Charlie flipping channels to the revelation of the mortgage lender's bankruptcy feels abrupt. A more gradual build-up to this moment could enhance the emotional impact.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks depth in character development. While Jamie and Charlie's banter serves to establish their relationship, it could benefit from more distinct voices or personal stakes that reflect their individual perspectives on the crisis. This would make their reactions feel more personal and relatable.
  • The use of television news as a narrative device is effective in conveying the external chaos of the financial world. However, the scene could incorporate more visual elements or reactions from the characters to enhance the atmosphere. For instance, showing their physical responses to the news (e.g., body language, facial expressions) could heighten the tension.
  • The scene introduces a significant plot point with the mention of the mortgage lender's bankruptcy, but it could be more impactful if the characters had a moment of reflection or realization about the implications of this news. This would allow the audience to grasp the gravity of the situation alongside the characters.
  • The transition between the two offices (Brownfield and Frontpoint) feels somewhat disjointed. A smoother transition or a visual cue could help maintain the flow of the narrative and keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or a shared look between Charlie and Jamie after the news breaks to emphasize the weight of the situation and their emotional response.
  • Enhance character differentiation by giving Jamie and Charlie distinct reactions to the news. For example, one could express fear while the other remains analytical, showcasing their differing coping mechanisms.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene. Describe the sounds of the office, the flickering of the TV, or the tension in the air to create a more vivid atmosphere.
  • Add a brief flashback or internal monologue for one of the characters reflecting on their previous optimism about the market, contrasting it with the current reality. This could deepen the emotional stakes and highlight the theme of disillusionment.
  • Consider ending the scene with a cliffhanger or a more dramatic line from Mark that encapsulates the urgency of their situation, leaving the audience eager to see how they will respond to the crisis.



Scene 48 - The Reluctant Reporter
121 INT. BROWNFIELD OFFICE - NYC LOFT - SAME TIME 121

Charlie is getting off the phone.

CHARLIE
You need to understand, mom. This
isn’t just a banking thing. It’s
going to affect real people. All
over the world. Like an enormous
tsunami hitting the global economy
all at once... Yeah, OK. I love
you, too.

He hangs up and turns to Jamie who’s at his computer.

CHARLIE (CONT’D)
She told me I should go on lithium.

Jamie shows him an email on his computer.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 100A.


JAMIE
Check it out - from Bear Stearns.
They claim the CDOs still haven’t
moved.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 101.


CHARLIE
That’s insane. They’re crooks. Just
look at the ABX: those CDOs should
be at zero! You know what they’re
doing, right? They’re selling off
their worthless CDOs so they don’t
take the loses. That’s fraud. On a
massive scale.
(looks panicked)
Jeez, I can’t catch my breath. I
think I’m having a panic attack.

JAMIE
We’ve got to tell someone. The
whole world has no idea what’s
about to hit them.

CHARLIE
Who? The SEC is useless. The
ratings agencies are in on it.

JAMIE
Let’s go to the press. This is a
giant story. Who wouldn’t publish
it?


122 INT. NEWS ROOM - WALL STREET JOURNAL - DAY 122

Charlie and Jamie just explained the situation to CASEY, 30
their college friend, and the junior finance reporter.

CASEY
So what am I supposed to do? Write
a piece called “We’re all fucked?”

CHARLIE
Yes! That’s a perfect title.

JAMIE
Casey, right now every bank in town
is unloading these shit bonds on
unsuspecting customers. They won’t
devalue them until they unload
them. This is the biggest fraud in
banking history.

CASEY
It took years to build my
relationships on Wall Street!
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 101A.

CASEY (CONT'D)
No bank or ratings agency is going
to confirm a story like this just
because two guys in a garage-band
hedge-fund thinks it’s the
apocalypse.

JAMIE
Don’t be a dick Casey. We didn’t
say “apocalypse.”
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 102.


CHARLIE
Wow. Wow.

JAMIE
(tries again)
Look, these banks bought most of
the government. They bought the
ratings agencies. There’s no one
left but you. This story is why
journalism exists. If someone like
you blows this off because they’re
worried about access to the banks
this country is fucked.

CASEY
Nice speech Kev. You sound like
Oliver Stone.
(he gets up)
Look, I’ve got work to do. So
thanks for stopping by.

CHARLIE
Wow.

JAMIE
Stop saying Wow.
(back to Casey)
I thought you were for real Casey.
I really did.

CASEY
Yeah, well you try being “for real”
with a three year old and a wife
who’s getting her Master’s degree.
I’m not burning my reputation on
your wild hunch.

CHARLIE
Wow.

He’s holding the door for them. They exit.

CASEY
Thanks for stopping by. Totally
fucking awesome to see you.


123 EXT. HALLWAY - WALL STREET JOURNAL - CONTINUOUS 123

CHARLIE
Disgusting. He won’t do his job
because he wants to keep access to
the banks to keep doing the job he
won’t do?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 102A.


JAMIE
I just had a horrible thought.

CHARLIE
I’m already juggling five or six
horrible thoughts. Don’t tell me.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 103.


JAMIE
If Bear Stearn is freezing the
value of the CDOs it must mean they
own tons of them.
(a breath)
They could go under. And we bought
80% of our swaps at Bear. We’d lose
everything.

CHARLIE
Stop it. Bear Stearns has been
around for a hundred years. They’re
not going under.

JAMIE
We have to at least consider the
possibility.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense scene set in a NYC loft, Charlie expresses his anxiety about the global banking crisis to his mother over the phone. After the call, he and Jamie discuss the alarming situation surrounding Bear Stearns and the fraudulent activities linked to CDOs. They approach their friend Casey, a junior finance reporter, hoping to convince him to expose the issue. However, Casey is hesitant, prioritizing his job security over their urgent concerns. Despite Jamie's impassioned pleas, Casey ultimately refuses to pursue the story, leaving Charlie and Jamie frustrated as they exit the newsroom.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Character depth
  • Relevant theme exploration
Weaknesses
  • Lack of immediate action
  • Limited resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and urgency through the characters' reactions to the unfolding financial crisis, setting the stage for a high-stakes conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of uncovering a massive banking fraud and the characters' moral dilemma is compelling and drives the scene forward with high stakes.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses significantly as the characters realize the extent of the fraud and contemplate their next steps, setting up a major conflict and potential resolution.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on the financial crisis of 2008, focusing on the personal and ethical struggles of individuals within the industry. The dialogue feels authentic and captures the complexity of the situation.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and interactions reveal their depth and complexity, especially in the face of a moral crisis. Each character's unique perspective adds to the scene's impact.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters experience significant shifts in their perspectives and priorities, especially as they confront the reality of the financial crisis.

Internal Goal: 8

Charlie's internal goal is to make a difference and expose the fraudulent practices in the banking industry. This reflects his desire to do what is right and protect people from harm.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to expose the fraudulent practices of major financial institutions and prevent a global economic collapse. This goal is driven by the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing in the financial world.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, as the characters grapple with the implications of the banking fraud and the ethical choices they must make.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and obstacles that challenge the protagonist's goals and beliefs.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters face the potential collapse of the financial system, personal losses, and ethical dilemmas that could impact their lives and the world.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by revealing crucial information about the banking fraud and the characters' reactions, setting up future developments and conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected reactions and decisions made by the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethical dilemma of prioritizing personal relationships and reputation over exposing the truth and holding powerful institutions accountable. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the importance of integrity and truth.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly in terms of anxiety, frustration, and concern for the characters' well-being.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, concerns, and motivations, driving the scene's tension and urgency.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, moral dilemmas, and fast-paced dialogue that keeps the audience invested in the characters' struggles.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise dialogue and descriptive action lines.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic, dialogue-driven sequence in a financial thriller genre.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the urgency and panic surrounding the financial crisis, particularly through Charlie's dialogue about the impending tsunami effect on the global economy. However, the emotional stakes could be heightened by incorporating more visceral reactions from both characters, allowing the audience to feel the weight of their concerns.
  • Charlie's phone call with his mother serves as a good setup for his emotional state, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the main action of the scene. It might be more impactful if the conversation directly tied into the themes of the financial crisis, perhaps by having his mother express disbelief or concern about the situation, which could further illustrate the disconnect between the characters' understanding of the crisis and the general public's perception.
  • The dialogue between Charlie and Jamie is engaging, but it could benefit from more subtext. For instance, while they express frustration with Casey, there could be hints of their own insecurities about their positions and the validity of their concerns. This would add depth to their characters and make their motivations clearer.
  • Casey's reluctance to pursue the story feels realistic, but his character could be fleshed out further. Providing a brief glimpse into his life or motivations could help the audience empathize with his decision, even if they disagree with it. This would create a more nuanced conflict between the idealism of Charlie and Jamie and the pragmatism of Casey.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the transition from the newsroom back to the hallway could be smoother. A brief moment of reflection or a shared look between Charlie and Jamie could emphasize their disappointment and the weight of the situation they are facing.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Charlie's mother expresses her disbelief about the financial crisis, which could enhance the emotional connection and highlight the disconnect between the characters and the general public.
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue between Charlie and Jamie to reveal their insecurities and motivations, making their frustrations more relatable and layered.
  • Flesh out Casey's character by providing a glimpse into his personal life or motivations, allowing the audience to empathize with his decision not to pursue the story.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by including more visceral reactions from Charlie and Jamie, allowing the audience to feel the weight of their concerns about the financial crisis.
  • Smooth the transition between the newsroom and the hallway by adding a moment of reflection or a shared look between Charlie and Jamie to emphasize their disappointment.



Scene 49 - The Weight of Transparency
124 INT. SCION OFFICES - DAY 124

Mike is at his desk. The headline on the site he’s on is:

Bear Stearns liquidates mortgage backed securities hedge
funds. Losses at 3.6 Billion.

The office is completely empty save two LAWYERS who are
wheeling files out on a hand cart. Michael is on the phone
hearing a voice mail.

WOMAN (SOT)
You’ve reached Lucy Thalia at
Goldman Sachs. I’m not available-

He hangs up.

July 31, 2007

LAWYER
That should do it Dr. Burry.

MICHAEL BURRY
If you need any files from 2005-

LAWYER
Mr. Field’s suit is very specific
to files from the past year.

MICHAEL BURRY
Well then tell Lawrence I said hi.

Burry’s PHONE rings. The caller ID is Thalia/Private.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 104.


MIKE
(answering)
You can't get back to me for a
whole week?

LUCY THALIA (O.S.)
I'm so sorry, Mike. Goldman had a
systems failure. I lost a ton of
messages.

MIKE
B of A said they had a power
outage. And Morgan Stanley said
their server crashed.

LUCY THALIA (O.S.)
Huh. That's weird.

MIKE
I would call it improbable. Where
do you have our position marked?

LUCY THALIA (O.S.)
It could be the same, Mike.

MIKE
Can you explain that to me? How's
the value of an insurance contract
in no way affected by the demise of
the thing it insures?

LUCY THALIA (O.S.)
They’re independent markets.
They’re not always correlated. I
know it sounds odd but these are
very complicated products.

MIKE
They are correlated, and I can
prove it.

LUCY THALIA (O.S.)
How?

MIKE
You'd never claim they're
uncorrelated on a hard line --
those are recorded bank records --
but you'll say it on your cell
phone.

Static.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 104A.


MIKE (CONT'D)
Hello?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 105.


LUCY THALIA (O.S.)
Mike, I need to call you right
back.

She clicks off. Mike hangs up.

The phone RINGS again almost immediately. Goldman.

MIKE
(answers)
I'm listening.

A DIFFERENT VOICE
Dr. Burry?

MIKE
Yeah.

DEEB
Deeb Winston, Goldman Sachs.
Listen, I've been reviewing your
position. I wanted to discuss your
marks, make sure they're fair.

Mike realizes what's happened.

MIKE
I think you mean you've secured a
net short position yourselves so
you're free to mark my swaps
accurately for once. Because it's
now in your interest to do so.

Static.

DEEB
I'm not sure what you want me to
say.

MIKE
Nothing.

Mike hangs up. There. See. Done.

CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense scene set in the Scion offices, Mike Burry reviews Bear Stearns' financial troubles while fielding calls from Goldman Sachs representatives. Lucy Thalia explains a systems failure affecting her communications, but her vague responses frustrate Mike, leading her to abruptly hang up. Deeb Winston then calls to discuss Mike's financial positions, but Mike quickly realizes Goldman Sachs' ulterior motives in their net short position, prompting him to dismiss Deeb as well. The scene highlights Mike's skepticism towards the financial system and his isolation in navigating these complex interactions.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Complex character dynamics
  • High-stakes conflict
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion due to financial jargon

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly engaging, filled with tension, conflict, and emotional depth. It effectively sets the stage for the climax of the financial crisis narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around the unraveling of the financial system and the characters' moral dilemmas in the face of greed and corruption. It effectively conveys the complexity of the financial world.

Plot: 9.2

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the narrative of the financial crisis, revealing key information about the characters' motivations and the escalating conflict between them.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on financial markets and the conflicts within them. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9.3

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with distinct personalities and conflicting goals. Their interactions drive the tension and drama of the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Several characters undergo significant changes in the scene, confronting their beliefs, motivations, and moral compass in the face of the financial collapse.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to prove his point about the correlation between insurance contracts and the demise of the insured entity. This reflects his need for validation of his knowledge and expertise in the financial market.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to address the discrepancies in marking his swaps accurately and ensure fairness in the evaluation of his position. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in dealing with the Goldman Sachs representative.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with characters facing off against each other, revealing their true intentions and moral dilemmas.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing off against representatives from Goldman Sachs. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are incredibly high, with characters facing financial ruin, moral dilemmas, and the collapse of the entire financial system.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward, revealing crucial information, escalating the conflict, and setting the stage for the climax of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected turns in the dialogue and the protagonist's bold actions. The audience is kept on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's belief in the correlation between markets and the representative's assertion of independence. This challenges the protagonist's worldview and understanding of financial products.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.2

The scene has a strong emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, anxiety, and defiance as the characters grapple with the unfolding crisis.

Dialogue: 9.4

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, confrontational, and emotionally charged, adding depth to the characters and driving the conflict forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high-stakes dialogue exchanges and the protagonist's assertive demeanor. The conflict and tension keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and highlighting the urgency of the protagonist's actions. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy, tension-filled corporate setting. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys a sense of isolation and urgency, reflecting Mike Burry's precarious position as the financial crisis unfolds. The empty office setting enhances the feeling of abandonment and impending doom, which is a strong visual choice.
  • The dialogue between Mike and Lucy Thalia is sharp and reveals the tension in the financial world, particularly the disconnect between the banks and the reality of the market. However, the conversation could benefit from more emotional stakes; while the technical aspects are well-presented, the personal impact of these financial decisions on Mike could be further explored.
  • The use of phone calls as a narrative device is effective, but the scene could be enhanced by incorporating more visual elements that reflect Mike's emotional state. For instance, showing his physical reactions or expressions during the calls could add depth to his character and the gravity of the situation.
  • The transition between the voicemail and the live phone call is somewhat abrupt. A smoother transition or a brief moment of reflection from Mike after the voicemail could help to build tension and anticipation for the subsequent conversation.
  • The scene ends rather abruptly after Mike hangs up on Deeb. While this reflects his frustration, it might be more impactful to include a brief moment of contemplation or a visual cue that emphasizes the weight of his realization about the market's manipulation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue or visual cue that illustrates Mike's emotional state during the phone calls, which would help the audience connect with his character on a deeper level.
  • Enhance the dialogue with more personal stakes by having Mike reflect on how these financial manipulations affect not just the market, but also the lives of everyday people, including his own investors.
  • Introduce a moment of silence or a visual pause after the voicemail to build tension before the next call, allowing the audience to feel the weight of the situation.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a visual element that shows the empty office in more detail, perhaps with lingering shots of the deserted space to emphasize Mike's isolation and the gravity of the financial crisis.
  • Consider concluding the scene with a more impactful line or action from Mike that encapsulates his realization about the market, leaving the audience with a strong emotional takeaway.



Scene 50 - Market Collapse: A Moment of Realization
125 INT. FRONTPOINT OFFICE - DAY 125

The trading desk is hopping. We see someone on their computer
on Bloomberg.com. The story: Countrywide Financial Warns of
“Difficult Conditions.”

The Dow is down 325 points
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 106.


Mark has a phone full of blinking red lights, about to pull
up a call, as soon Danny finishes prepping him.

DANNY
Subprime bonds went off a cliff.
Rumor is default numbers are huge.

MARK
Who got the remittance data early?
I bet it’s Goldman.

Mark punches a blinking light.

MARK (CONT’D)
Jared, it's chaos over here. Where
are we?


126 INT. DUETSCHE BATHROOM - DEUTSCHE BANK - DAY 126

Jared enters a bathroom, pushes a BANKER OUT THE DOOR.

JARED VENNETT
The gods have spoken. No one’s
buying CDO or mortgage bonds
anymore.
(To the guy he’s pushing
out)
Sorry, important call!
(then back to Mark)
Our secret's out. Swaps are now the
most valuable product on the
street. And I heard from someone
who heard from someone that Bennie
Leibman over at Morgan just took
some heavy losses in Morgan’s bond
department. Your ship might be
taking on water... It might be time
to grab a life jacket.

Mark hangs up. Everyone's looking his direction.

VINNY
And?

MARK
The market's turned.

A long, weird beat. No one speaks. No one celebrates.

For good reason...

RECEPTIONIST
Kathy's office is looking for you.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 107.


127 INT. MORGAN STANLEY HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER 127

Mark strides for a corner office. A young woman passes in
tears, carrying a personal effects box and crying, newly
fired.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a bustling trading office, Mark receives urgent updates about a financial market downturn, particularly concerning subprime bonds. Danny warns him of significant defaults, while Jared, speaking from a bathroom at Deutsche Bank, reveals that no one is buying CDOs or mortgage bonds anymore. Mark realizes the gravity of the situation as the atmosphere grows tense and somber. The scene culminates with Mark encountering a distraught young woman who has just been fired, underscoring the emotional toll of the impending crisis.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Revealing character motivations
  • Advancing the plot
Weaknesses
  • Lack of celebratory moment after the market turns

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and uncertainty surrounding the market collapse, setting the stage for significant developments. The dialogue and actions of the characters create a sense of urgency and impending crisis.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of portraying the market turning point and the characters' reactions to it is compelling and drives the narrative forward. It effectively sets up future plot developments and character arcs.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the overall story, as it marks a significant shift in the financial landscape and the characters' trajectories. It introduces new conflicts and challenges for the protagonists.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on the financial crisis and trading world, with authentic character interactions and a focus on the moral implications of insider trading.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and interactions in the scene reveal their personalities and motivations, adding depth to their arcs. The emotional stakes are high, and the characters' decisions have far-reaching consequences.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters experience shifts in their perspectives and strategies due to the market turmoil, setting the stage for personal growth and transformation. The scene marks a pivotal moment in their development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the chaos and uncertainty of the market, while also managing his own emotions and reactions to the unfolding events. This reflects his need for control and success in a high-pressure environment.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to make strategic decisions based on the changing market conditions and information he receives, in order to protect his investments and stay ahead of the competition.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, as the characters face a turning point that challenges their beliefs and strategies. The internal and external conflicts drive the narrative forward and create tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in this scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges from market conditions, ethical dilemmas, and personal conflicts. The uncertainty of the situation adds to the tension and drama.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters face the repercussions of the market collapse and must make critical decisions that could impact their futures. The outcome of their actions carries significant consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a major plot development and escalating the conflict. It sets up future events and challenges for the characters, driving the narrative towards a climax.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden shifts in market conditions, unexpected revelations, and moral dilemmas faced by the protagonist. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how events will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the value of information and the consequences of acting on insider knowledge. The protagonist must weigh the ethical implications of using privileged information to gain an advantage in the market.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of unease and concern, as the characters confront the reality of the market collapse and its implications. The emotional stakes are heightened, drawing the audience into the characters' dilemmas.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the urgency and tension of the situation, with characters exchanging crucial information and making impactful decisions. The conversations reveal the characters' perspectives and conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, high-stakes conflict, and dramatic revelations. The audience is drawn into the intense world of financial trading and the protagonist's struggles.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted to build tension and suspense, with rapid exchanges of dialogue, strategic reveals, and moments of silence that heighten the drama. The rhythm of the scene enhances its effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene is well-formatted and easy to follow, with clear transitions between locations and characters. The formatting enhances the pacing and readability of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure that builds tension and suspense, leading to a dramatic revelation about the market turning. It effectively conveys the urgency and high stakes of the financial world.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and urgency of the financial crisis, with the trading desk's chaotic atmosphere and Mark's frantic phone calls. However, the dialogue could be more dynamic to reflect the high stakes and emotional weight of the situation. Currently, it feels somewhat flat and lacks the intensity that would heighten the drama.
  • Mark's character is established as a decisive leader, but the scene could benefit from more internal conflict or emotional depth. For instance, showing Mark's reaction to the news of the market turning could add layers to his character, illustrating his fears or doubts about the consequences of their investments.
  • The transition between the two locations (the trading desk and the bathroom) is clear, but the abruptness of the switch could be smoothed out. Adding a brief moment of reflection or a visual cue that connects the two settings could enhance the flow of the scene.
  • The use of the receptionist's line about Kathy looking for Mark serves as a good plot device to indicate the pressure he is under, but it could be more impactful if it were tied to Mark's internal thoughts or concerns. This would create a stronger connection between the external pressures and his internal state.
  • The scene ends on a somber note with the young woman in tears, which is effective in conveying the human cost of the financial crisis. However, it could be more powerful if Mark's reaction to her distress was included, showing his awareness of the broader implications of the market's collapse.
Suggestions
  • Revise the dialogue to include more emotional stakes and urgency, perhaps by incorporating more vivid language or metaphors that reflect the chaos of the financial world.
  • Consider adding a moment of internal reflection for Mark after he receives the news about the market turning. This could be a brief flashback or a thought that reveals his fears about the consequences of their actions.
  • Smooth the transition between the trading desk and the bathroom by including a visual element or a brief moment of silence that emphasizes the gravity of the situation before cutting to Jared.
  • Enhance the receptionist's line by tying it to Mark's internal conflict, perhaps by showing his anxiety about facing Kathy or the implications of the market's downturn.
  • Include a reaction from Mark to the young woman in tears, which would humanize him further and emphasize the emotional toll of the financial crisis on individuals.



Scene 51 - Financial Reckoning
128 INT. MORGAN STANLEY - KATHY TAO’S OFFICE - DAY 128

A BREAST-PUMP on a credenza.

Mark’s waiting on Kathy. Considering her Spartan office, he
realizes she has no personal effects, save the pump.

Kathy Tao enters, frazzled, scared.

KATHY TAO
Thanks for coming so quickly, Mark.
I’m sure you’ve been hearing
rumblings about some losses Morgan
has suffered.

He nods. She sits.

MARK
Congratulations.

KATHY TAO
What?

He points to the breast pump.

KATHY TAO (CONT'D)
Oh. Thanks. I just wanted you to
know that yes, Morgan has suffered
some losses but our liquidity is
strong and there’s no cause for
concern.

MARK
What about Bennie Leibman? Is he
concerned. Word on the street is he
took some heavy losses.

Half beat.

MARK (CONT’D)
We know each other too well Kathy.
How bad is it?
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 107A.


KATHY TAO
Okay. Two years ago, Bennie Leibman
in Morgan’s bond department also
started shorting subprime housing.
2 billion in triple B’s.

MARK
Bennie's smarter than I thought.

KATHY TAO
Not smart enough. The premiums on
the swaps ate into his desk's
profit.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 108.

KATHY TAO (CONT'D)
To cover his triple B shorts he
sold a lot of A and double A swaps
as protection. A lot. He believed
there was no way they could be
affected.

MARK
Tell me Morgan Stanley doesn’t hold
those contracts.

Silence. They held them.

MARK (CONT’D)
What’s your exposure. 3 billion?
Don’t tell me it’s over 4.

KATHY TAO
I can’t answer that. And I’m not
sure there’s even a definitive
answer.

MARK
Kathy, you bring me in here to say
everything’s fine and you don’t
mention Bennie’s losses. You’ll
have to pardon me if I don’t
believe a word you’re saying right
now.

Beat.

KATHY TAO
Our long exposure is somewhere
between 12 and 16 billion.

MARK
Jesus Christ... Are you fucking
kidding me?

KATHY TAO
He kept saying defaults over 8
percent were impossible. There'd be
a million homeless.

MARK
And how is that a reason it can’t
happen?!

KATHY TAO
No one thought... Please don’t do
this Mark. Like it or not you’re
part of Morgan.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 108A.


MARK
Kathy, given Morgan's leverage,
what are you doing to prevent a run
on this bank?

We see she’s not just stunned, she’s terrified.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 109.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense meeting at Morgan Stanley, Mark confronts Kathy Tao about the company's alarming financial troubles. Despite her attempts to downplay the situation, Kathy reveals the extent of their risky contracts and significant losses, leaving her terrified as Mark questions the potential fallout and the risk of a bank run. The scene captures the high stakes and anxiety surrounding the impending financial crisis.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Revealing character interactions
  • High emotional impact
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene effectively conveys the gravity of the financial situation, creating a sense of urgency and suspense. The dialogue is sharp and reveals crucial information about the characters' predicament.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exposing the financial crisis through a high-stakes conversation between key characters is engaging and relevant. It highlights the complexities of the financial world and the moral dilemmas faced by those involved.

Plot: 9.2

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the narrative, revealing the extent of the financial crisis and the risks taken by the characters. It sets the stage for further developments and raises the stakes for the protagonists.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on financial crisis management, with a focus on personal relationships and ethical dilemmas. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and grounded in the financial world depicted.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-defined and their motivations are clear. Mark's skepticism and Kathy's fear add depth to the interaction, enhancing the tension of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, the interaction between Mark and Kathy reveals more about their personalities and motivations, setting the stage for potential development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain control and composure in the face of potential financial disaster. This reflects her deeper need for stability and security, as well as her fear of failure and loss of reputation.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to reassure Mark and prevent a panic or run on the bank due to the financial losses. This reflects the immediate challenge of managing the crisis and maintaining the bank's stability.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with Mark challenging Kathy about the bank's exposure to risky investments. The tension between them adds to the sense of urgency and fear surrounding the financial crisis.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations between the characters, creating uncertainty and tension for the audience.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes in the scene are extremely high, with the potential collapse of a major bank and the characters' reputations on the line. The risk of financial ruin and the impact on the economy add to the intensity of the situation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by exposing the extent of the financial crisis and the risks faced by the characters. It sets up future conflicts and developments, driving the narrative towards a climax.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations about the financial losses and the characters' shifting motivations and loyalties.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is between the belief in financial security and the reality of potential losses. This challenges the protagonist's values of trust and transparency in a high-stakes financial world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of concern, fear, and doubt in the audience. The characters' vulnerability and the gravity of the situation resonate strongly, drawing viewers into the narrative.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, revealing important information about the financial situation and the characters' relationships. It drives the conflict forward and adds to the overall tension.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, intense conflict, and personal dynamics between the characters. The audience is drawn into the tension and uncertainty of the financial crisis.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict and revelations that keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for a dialogue-heavy, character-driven scene in a financial setting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a tense financial drama, with escalating conflict and revelations driving the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a tense atmosphere, reflecting the gravity of the financial crisis. Mark's confrontation with Kathy Tao reveals the stakes involved and the precarious situation at Morgan Stanley. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext; while the characters express their concerns, there are moments where the dialogue feels too on-the-nose, lacking the layered tension that could enhance the stakes.
  • Kathy's character is introduced as frazzled and scared, which is a strong choice, but her motivations and background could be fleshed out further. Providing a glimpse into her past experiences or her relationship with Bennie Leibman could add depth to her character and make her fear more relatable.
  • The use of the breast pump as a visual motif is intriguing, but it could be more effectively integrated into the dialogue or Mark's internal thoughts. As it stands, it feels somewhat disconnected from the main conversation about financial losses. Exploring how her personal life intersects with her professional challenges could create a more compelling narrative.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but there are moments where the tension could be heightened. For instance, after Mark's revelation about the potential losses, a longer pause could amplify the weight of the information. This would allow the audience to absorb the implications of the financial crisis more fully.
  • The emotional stakes are high, but the scene could benefit from a stronger visual contrast between Mark's assertiveness and Kathy's vulnerability. This could be achieved through camera angles or framing that emphasize their power dynamics, making the confrontation feel even more intense.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext to the dialogue to create tension without explicitly stating the characters' fears. This could involve using metaphors or indirect references to the financial crisis.
  • Develop Kathy's character further by incorporating brief flashbacks or internal monologues that reveal her past experiences and how they inform her current fears and decisions.
  • Integrate the breast pump motif more seamlessly into the dialogue or Mark's thoughts, perhaps by having him reflect on the challenges of balancing personal and professional life in high-stress environments.
  • Experiment with pacing by extending pauses after key revelations to allow the audience to process the gravity of the situation, enhancing the emotional impact.
  • Utilize visual storytelling techniques, such as framing and camera angles, to emphasize the power dynamics between Mark and Kathy, making the confrontation feel more charged and significant.



Scene 52 - Tensions at Midnight
129 INT. MANHATTAN RESTAURANT - LATE NIGHT 129

At a window table, Mark and Vinny sit across from Porter and
Danny.

PORTER
But we have nothing to do with
Morgan Stanley!

VINNY
Tell the bankruptcy court. Morgan
fails, our accounts go on their
balance sheet.

DANNY
That’s crazy. Morgan makes the
sucker’s bet and we pay their
gambling debts.

Mark’s brooding dangerously.

PORTER
You're saying, we could do
everything right, disciplined,
smart, and still go broke?

VINNY
That’s right.

PORTER
What do we do?

MARK
Short the bank stocks. Then we
wait.

VINNY
Or... we sell our swaps, when the
market opens. We get our bonuses
and our investors get their
profits. We'd get 30 cents on the
dollar. Not bad.

MARK
They're worth three times that.

VINNY
If Morgan goes under it won’t
matter.

MARK
Forget it. I'm not giving away
lifeboats.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 110.


VINNY
Mark, don’t play a game of chicken
on this one.

MARK
Drop it! Christ, Vin. We sell when
I say we sell. Don't pussy out on
me!

VINNY
I get that this is what you’ve
dreamed about but we have a
fiduciary responsibility to-

MARK
No. No we don’t. No one is being
responsible. So fuck
responsibility. We’re going to
shove the knife in to the hilt and
make these assholes at the big
banks-

WAITRESS
(approaching)
--you boys want--

MARK
--we're talking! Excuse us.

The Waitress is wounded. Goes. A brutal beat. No one can look
at Mark.

MARK (CONT’D)
(quiet)
I’ll say when we sell.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a late-night Manhattan restaurant, Mark and Vinny engage in a heated debate with Porter and Danny over the looming bankruptcy of Morgan Stanley. While Porter fears financial ruin and Vinny advocates for caution by suggesting shorting bank stocks, Mark aggressively insists on holding their positions, dismissing any notion of responsibility. The confrontation escalates, revealing a stark divide between Mark's ambition and Vinny's caution, culminating in Mark's firm declaration, 'I’ll say when we sell,' leaving the tension unresolved.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Character development
  • High emotional impact
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Potential for audience confusion due to complex financial terminology

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, setting the stage for significant conflict and character development. The intense tone and confrontational dialogue create a sense of urgency and tension, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around the moral and ethical dilemmas faced by the characters in the midst of a financial crisis. It delves into themes of responsibility, greed, and the consequences of risky financial decisions.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the narrative, setting up key conflicts and character dynamics that will drive the story forward. It introduces high stakes and sets the stage for significant developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on financial risk-taking and ethical dilemmas, presenting complex characters with conflicting motivations and values. The authenticity of the dialogue adds depth and realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Mark, are well-developed and showcase depth and complexity. Their interactions reveal their motivations, values, and internal struggles, adding layers to the narrative.

Character Changes: 9

Mark undergoes a significant change in this scene, asserting his authority and determination in the face of escalating crisis. His defiance and resolute decision-making showcase a shift in his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to assert his authority and control over the situation, showcasing his desire for power and dominance in the financial world.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to make a strategic financial decision that will benefit himself and his team, despite the potential risks involved.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving internal struggles, moral dilemmas, and high stakes financial decisions. The confrontation between the characters adds depth and tension to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and motivations among the characters creating tension and conflict. The audience is left uncertain of the outcome, adding to the scene's suspense.

High Stakes: 10

The scene is characterized by high stakes, both financially and morally, as the characters grapple with the consequences of their actions and face the potential collapse of the financial system. The decisions made in this scene will have far-reaching implications.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, escalating tensions, and setting up important decisions that will impact the narrative. It propels the plot towards a critical turning point.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting motivations and the uncertain outcome of their financial decisions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's willingness to take extreme risks and prioritize personal gain over ethical considerations, challenging traditional notions of responsibility and morality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.2

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting strong feelings of tension, defiance, and moral conflict. The characters' emotional turmoil and the escalating stakes resonate with the audience, creating a sense of urgency and drama.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, confrontational, and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the characters' conflicting perspectives and escalating tensions. It drives the scene forward and adds depth to the character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense dialogue, high-stakes conflict, and complex character dynamics. The tension and drama keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' decisions and actions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for its genre, with clear dialogue and scene descriptions that enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the escalating tension and conflict among the characters. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and urgency of the characters' situation, reflecting the high stakes of the financial crisis. The dialogue is sharp and conveys the conflicting perspectives of the characters, particularly Mark's aggressive stance versus Vinny's more cautious approach.
  • Mark's character is well-defined through his dialogue and actions, showcasing his determination and willingness to take risks. However, his aggressive tone may come off as overly harsh, which could alienate the audience from his character. A more nuanced approach to his frustration could add depth to his motivations.
  • The use of the restaurant setting contrasts with the gravity of the conversation, creating an interesting juxtaposition. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details about the environment to enhance the atmosphere and reflect the characters' emotional states.
  • The waitress's interruption serves as a moment of levity, but it also highlights the tension in the room. The abruptness of her departure could be expanded upon to emphasize the impact of Mark's outburst on those around him, making the scene feel more dynamic.
  • The pacing of the scene is effective, but the transition from the previous scene could be smoother. The emotional weight of Kathy's terror should carry over more distinctly into this scene, perhaps through a brief reflection from Mark or Vinny about the implications of her revelations.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more descriptive elements to the setting, such as the ambiance of the restaurant, the food, or the reactions of other patrons, to create a richer backdrop for the intense conversation.
  • Explore Mark's internal conflict further. Perhaps include a moment where he reflects on the moral implications of his decisions, which could add complexity to his character and make his aggressive stance more relatable.
  • Enhance the waitress's moment by giving her a line that reflects her discomfort or surprise at the conversation, which could serve to heighten the tension and illustrate the impact of Mark's words on those around him.
  • Incorporate a brief moment of silence or hesitation after Mark's outburst to allow the weight of his words to settle in, giving the audience a moment to absorb the gravity of the situation.
  • Consider using subtext in the dialogue to convey the characters' underlying fears and motivations. This could create a more layered conversation that resonates with the audience on multiple levels.



Scene 53 - Panic in the Financial Sector
130 EXT. STREETS OF CHELSEA - DAY 130

Jamie is walking down the street on his cell.

August 3, 2007

JAMIE
So not only do two mortgage hedge
funds backed by Bear Stearns go
belly up but now there’s a class
action law suit against Bear.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 110A.


131 INT. SPIN CLASS - SAME TIME 131

A SPIN CLASS IS IN PROGRESS WITH LOUD MUSIC PLAYING and 20
people on bikes. A sweaty Charlie is standing off to the side
on his cell.

CHARLIE
(yelling over the music)
Holy shit! Bear Stearns could
really collapse?

JAMIE (V.O.)
I don’t know if Bear will collapse.
But there’s a risk they might. And
it’s a risk we shouldn’t take.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 111.


CHARLIE
How the hell do we sell these
swaps!? I just realized we bought
them but we don’t know how to sell
them.

JAMIE
We’ll have to get Ben to do it.

CHARLIE
He’s on vacation with his wife’s
family in England!

The Spin Class instructor turns to Charlie.

INSTRUCTOR
Hey brother! Do you mind?

CHARLIE
Sorry!


132 INT. SCION - MIKE'S OFFICE - SAN JOSE - DAY 132

CLOSE on Mike's good eye: he's scanning his monitors.

January 14, 2008

He hovers over his terminal, worried. The numbers are not
good. We see default rates above 12%, Dow down 420 points
etc. He picks up the phone and dials a number by heart.

MIKE
It's Dr. Burry. Looks like the
collapse in the financial sector is
imminent. Let's start to unwind my
position. It's 1.3 Billion.

We hear disappointment in Mike's voice.


133 INT. SCION OFFICE - NIGHT 133

It's been cleared out, even Mike's Assistant is gone. The
light goes off in his inner office.

Leaving, Mike stops off at his WHITE BOARD, erases -19.3%
with his palm and starts to write +...

He stops, turns and considers the room full of abandoned
desks, just a telephone on each, all of them silent.

CUT TO:
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 112.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense scene, Jamie discusses Bear Stearns' financial troubles and the risk of collapse with Charlie, who is frantic about their inability to sell their swaps. Meanwhile, Mike, in his office, decides to unwind his $1.3 billion position as he grapples with the impending crisis. The contrasting settings of a lively spin class and a somber office underscore the urgency and anxiety surrounding the financial turmoil.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Authentic character reactions
  • Relevant theme exploration
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too technical for general audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the mounting tension and fear as characters grapple with the impending financial crisis. The dialogue and actions of the characters create a sense of urgency and uncertainty, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on the financial crisis and the characters' responses to it, is compelling and relevant. It effectively explores themes of risk, consequences, and moral dilemmas in the face of impending disaster.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the overall narrative, setting up significant events and character decisions that will have a lasting impact on the story. It effectively raises the stakes and creates suspense.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the financial crisis, presenting complex financial concepts in a relatable and engaging way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and grounded in reality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed and their reactions to the crisis feel authentic and nuanced. Their interactions and decisions drive the plot forward and reveal important aspects of their personalities.

Character Changes: 8

Several characters experience shifts in their perspectives and decisions in response to the crisis, showing growth and development in the face of adversity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate the risks and uncertainties of the financial market, while also grappling with personal fears of failure and loss.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to manage the financial risks and challenges presented by the impending collapse of Bear Stearns and the broader financial sector.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with characters facing internal and external challenges related to the financial crisis. The tension and uncertainty drive the narrative forward and create a sense of urgency.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing difficult decisions and obstacles that challenge their beliefs and values. The uncertainty of the financial crisis adds an element of unpredictability to the scene.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are extremely high, with characters facing the potential collapse of major financial institutions and personal losses. The decisions made in this scene will have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, setting up key events and decisions that will shape the narrative's direction. It raises the stakes and creates momentum for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected challenges and obstacles for the characters, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the ethical implications of profiting from financial collapse and the moral responsibility of the characters in their financial dealings.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a significant emotional impact, evoking feelings of concern, fear, and disbelief in the audience. The characters' struggles and the looming crisis resonate on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is impactful, conveying the characters' emotions, fears, and motivations effectively. It adds depth to the interactions and enhances the tension of the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the high-stakes world of finance, with compelling characters, realistic dialogue, and a sense of urgency that keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a balance of fast-paced dialogue and slower moments of reflection that enhance the emotional impact of the characters' decisions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a financial drama, with clear transitions between different locations and characters. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and suspense.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the urgency and tension surrounding the financial crisis, particularly through the contrasting settings of Jamie on the street and Charlie in a spin class. This juxtaposition highlights the chaos of the financial world against the backdrop of everyday life, which is a strong visual choice.
  • The dialogue is functional but could benefit from more emotional depth. While Jamie and Charlie express concern about Bear Stearns, their reactions feel somewhat muted given the gravity of the situation. Adding more visceral reactions or personal stakes could enhance the emotional weight of their conversation.
  • Charlie's realization that they don't know how to sell the swaps is a pivotal moment, but it could be emphasized further. This moment of confusion and panic could be expanded to show how unprepared they are for the impending crisis, which would heighten the tension.
  • The transition from Jamie's phone call to Charlie's spin class is somewhat abrupt. A smoother transition or a brief visual cue could help the audience follow the shift in location and maintain the scene's flow.
  • The scene ends with Mike Burry's contemplative moment, which is a strong visual metaphor for the collapse of his world. However, it could be more impactful if there were a clearer connection between the urgency of Jamie and Charlie's conversation and Mike's decision to unwind his position. This would create a more cohesive narrative thread.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more emotional stakes to Jamie and Charlie's dialogue. For example, they could reflect on their personal investments or the impact of the crisis on their families, which would make their concerns feel more immediate and relatable.
  • Enhance the transition between Jamie's and Charlie's scenes by incorporating a visual element, such as a split-screen effect or a brief montage of the chaos in the financial world, to emphasize the disconnect between their everyday lives and the unfolding crisis.
  • Expand on Charlie's panic about not knowing how to sell the swaps. This could involve him frantically searching for answers or reaching out to other colleagues, which would heighten the sense of urgency and confusion.
  • Consider using more dynamic camera angles or editing techniques during the spin class to convey the intensity of the situation. For instance, quick cuts between Charlie's worried expressions and the spinning bikes could create a more frenetic atmosphere.
  • Strengthen the connection between the scenes by having Mike's decision to unwind his position directly influenced by the news from Jamie and Charlie. This could be achieved through a voiceover or a visual cue that links their conversations to Mike's actions.



Scene 54 - Securities and Shenanigans
134 EXT. THE POWDER MONKEY PUB - EXMOUTH, ENGLAND - DAY 134

A southern England old world pub on a wet street in a small
country town.

BEN (V.O.)
I’ve got almost no cell phone or
wifi reception and I’m trying to
sell 200 million dollars worth of
securities. And yes, this pub
smells like wet sheep.

JAMIE (V.O.)
You can do this Ben ...


135 INT. POWDER MONKEY PUB - EXMOUTH, ENGLAND - DAY 135

Ben has his Bloomberg terminal set up at a table, wears a
fancy headset, rolls calls in sweatpants.

BEN
This is The Brownfield Fund... I'm
trying to sell credit default
swaps...20 double A tranches of
CDOs...Absolutely, they're all
complete shit... Face value is 205
million dollars.

The PROPRIETRESS and THREE OLD ENGLISH MEN AT THE BAR pretend
not to listen to the strangest conversation they've ever
heard.

BEN (CONT’D)
No, we're looking for at least 100
million.

PUB-GOER
100 million! Hey laddy, are you a
drug dealer or a banker?! If you’re
a banker fuck off!

Everyone laughs in the pub. Now they’re openly watching.

BEN
Just give me your best number.

PUB-GOER #2
Have em throw in a million for me!

BEN
Look, if you don’t want this deal
then hang up...
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 113.

BEN (CONT'D)
(they don’t hang up)
That’s what I thought...


136 INT. BROWNFIELD OFFICE - EARLY MORNING 136

Charlie and Jamie stand around Charlie’s SPEAKER PHONE.

CHARLIE
Okay. Eighty million. Okay. That's
good.

JAMIE
Eighty's great, Ben. Thank you.
Thank you so much.

BEN (O.S.)
Most of it went to UBS. You're very
lucky. The largest bank in France
froze customers money market
accounts today. This thing's
hitting Europe. I hope I can get
home...

CHARLIE
You will. Call us when you land.

JAMIE
Hey Ben, I’m just wondering, why
did you do this with us? I mean,
you didn’t have to.... and thanks.
But why?

BEN (O.S.)
Because I like you guys.

JAMIE
(thrown)
Wow. You do? That’s so cool...
Okay... Bye Ben. Hello? Oh.

He hangs up.

JAMIE (CONT’D)
Eighty million in 6 months. From
just 110 thousand 4 years ago.
That's not bad.

CHARLIE
I’m done. No more.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 113A.


JAMIE
Yeah. Yeah, me too.
(half beat)
But we have to short Bear Stearns.

CHARLIE
You damn straight.
(realizing)
Oh, crap, where are we gonna put
the money we made?

DISSOLVE TO:
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 114.
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In a humorous and chaotic scene set in the Powder Monkey Pub in Exmouth, Ben attempts to sell $200 million worth of securities over the phone while dealing with poor reception and eavesdropping patrons. Dressed casually in sweatpants, he engages in a lighthearted conversation with potential buyers, drawing laughter from the pub-goers. Meanwhile, Jamie and Charlie discuss their gratitude towards Ben for his help in securing $80 million from the deal. The scene blends tension with comedy as Ben navigates the unusual setting, ultimately leading to Jamie and Charlie contemplating their next strategic move.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled atmosphere
  • Realistic dialogue
  • Engaging plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and urgency of the characters' situation while providing insight into the complexities of the financial world. The dialogue is engaging, and the setting adds a layer of authenticity to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of negotiating a high-stakes deal in an unconventional setting adds depth to the scene and provides a unique perspective on the world of finance. The scene effectively conveys the challenges and risks involved in such transactions.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the negotiation of a significant financial deal, which drives the tension and conflict. The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the characters' actions and decisions in a critical moment.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the financial industry and the challenges faced by characters in high-stakes situations. The dialogue feels authentic and the characters' actions are believable.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed and display distinct personalities, motivations, and conflicts. Their interactions and dialogue reveal their individual traits and perspectives.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the pressure and decisions they face contribute to their development and growth throughout the story.

Internal Goal: 8

Ben's internal goal is to successfully sell the securities and navigate the challenging situation he finds himself in. This reflects his desire for success, competence, and the need to prove himself in a high-pressure environment.

External Goal: 7

Ben's external goal is to sell the credit default swaps and secure a deal worth at least 100 million dollars. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in the scene and the pressure he is under to make the sale.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene has a high level of conflict, both internal and external, as the characters navigate the challenges of negotiating a complex financial deal under pressure.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Ben facing resistance from the pub-goers and the challenge of making a difficult sale. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

High Stakes: 9

The scene has high stakes as the characters negotiate a multi-million dollar deal that could have significant consequences for their financial future and the overall story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a crucial deal negotiation that will have implications for the characters and the plot. It sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the negotiation process, as well as the humorous interactions between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the values of honesty and deception. Ben is trying to sell securities that he describes as 'complete shit,' which raises questions about the ethics of his actions and the morality of the financial industry.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of tension and concern, drawing the audience into the characters' high-stakes situation. The emotional impact is driven by the characters' struggles and the risks they face.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is engaging, realistic, and serves to advance the plot and develop the characters. It effectively conveys the urgency and stakes of the negotiation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, witty dialogue, and dynamic interactions between the characters. The tension and humor keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and description that keeps the story moving forward and maintains the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting that enhances readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure that builds tension and conflict, leading to a satisfying resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the absurdity and chaos of the financial world, particularly through Ben's humorous and desperate attempts to sell securities from a pub. This juxtaposition of a traditional pub setting with high-stakes financial dealings creates a memorable visual and thematic contrast.
  • Ben's dialogue is engaging and reflects the tension of the situation, but it could benefit from more specificity regarding the securities he is trying to sell. While he mentions '20 double A tranches of CDOs,' elaborating on what makes these securities particularly risky or undesirable could enhance the stakes for the audience.
  • The use of the pub patrons as a comedic backdrop works well, but their reactions could be more varied to deepen the humor. For instance, instead of just laughing, some patrons could express disbelief or confusion, which would add layers to the comedic element and highlight the absurdity of Ben's situation.
  • The transition between the pub scene and the Brownfield office is somewhat abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the flow of the narrative. Perhaps a brief moment of reflection from Ben as he hangs up could serve as a bridge to the next scene.
  • Jamie's surprise at Ben's affection for them feels a bit underdeveloped. Expanding on this moment could provide insight into their relationship dynamics and add emotional depth. Why does Jamie find it surprising? What does this reveal about their previous interactions?
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a line or two of dialogue that explains why the securities are particularly undesirable, which would heighten the tension and stakes of the sale.
  • Enhance the comedic reactions of the pub patrons to create a more dynamic atmosphere. This could involve a mix of disbelief, laughter, and even some serious commentary on the financial crisis.
  • Introduce a brief moment of reflection for Ben after the call ends, allowing him to express his thoughts on the absurdity of selling securities from a pub, which could serve as a smoother transition to the next scene.
  • Expand on Jamie's reaction to Ben's affection for them. This could involve a brief exchange that reveals more about their relationship and adds emotional weight to the moment.
  • Consider incorporating visual elements that emphasize the contrast between the pub's cozy, traditional atmosphere and the high-stakes financial world Ben is trying to navigate, such as close-ups of Ben's anxious expressions or the starkness of his Bloomberg terminal against the pub's rustic decor.



Scene 55 - The Tipping Point
137 INT. AUDITORIUM - DEUTSCHE BANK HQ - DAY 137

Dark. Elegant. A well-heeled crowd of 200 INVESTORS.

March 14, 2008

JARED VENNETT (V.O.)
As the housing markets and banks
continued to hemorrhage only one of
the big shorts refused to sell:
Mark Baum. So it was beyond perfect
when he was asked to speak at a
conference opposite Bruce Miller, a
famous bullish investor. After he
and Mark had their debate, Alan
Greenspan, one of the architects of
the whole crisis was scheduled to
speak. Everyone in Mark’s office
showed up and even invited
friends.... This was Ali versus
Foreman of the financial world...
The realist versus the fools. If it
seems almost too perfect, trust me,
this happened. And it was
beautiful.

A podium waits for Greenspan. Beside it are 3 chairs with THE
HOST, BRUCE MILLER, ruddy and confident and a sloppily-
dressed Mark Baum.

Vinny's in the front row.

BRUCE MILLER (THE BULL)
As some of you may know, Bear
Stearns just received a loan from
JP Morgan. We'll see how the market
reacts, but I think that lays to
rest concerns about the bank's
health.

THE HOST
I take it you have no plans to sell
your 200 million in Bear stock?

BRUCE MILLER
When we're done here, I'll probably
buy more.

THE HOST
For the opposing view, Mr. Baum.

MARK
I gotta stand for this.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 114A.


Wholly uninvited, Mark takes his mic to the podium.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 115.


MARK (CONT'D)
Okay, hi, so my firm's thesis is
simple: Wall Street took a good
idea, Lewis Ranieri’s Mortgage Bond
and turned it into an atomic bomb
of fraud and stupidity that is on
it’s way to decimating the world
economy.

BRUCE MILLER
How do you really feel?

The crowd laughs.

MARK
I’m glad you still have a sense of
humor. I wouldn’t if I were you.
(back to the crowd)
Now, anyone who knows me knows I
have no problem telling someone
they’re wrong. Hell, it’s my
passion.
(beat)
Well for the first time in my life,
it’s not so enjoyable.

Arriving late, Porter slips in the last row behind Danny.

PORTER
(whispers)
Bear Stearns issued a press release
denying rumors of liquidity
problems.

DANNY
(whispers)
They said they had liquidity?! That
always means they don’t.

MARK
We’re living in an era of fraud in
America. Not just in banking. But
in government, education, food,
religion, journalism, prisons,
baseball... Somehow, American
values became fuck it, let’s grab
what we can for now and the hell
with tomorrow.

Danny gets a quote, curses, types, Here we go! Bear at 47!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 116.


MARK (CONT’D)
And what bothers me isn’t that
fraud is “not nice” or “mean.” It’s
that for fifteen thousand years
fraud and short sighted thinking
has never, ever worked. Not once.
How the hell did we all forget
that?

Vinny gets a text...Bear at 35 last!

MARK (CONT’D)
I thought we were all better than
this... I really did. And the fact
that we’re not doesn’t make me feel
superior and right... It makes me
feel sad...

In the back, a man hurries out holding on his cell phone.

MARK (CONT'D)
And as fun as it is seeing pompous
dumb Wall Streeters be wildly
wrong,
(turns to the Bull)
and you are wrong sir.
(back to his wrap up)
I just know that at the end of the
day regular people are going to pay
for all of this. Because they
always, always do.

Danny's just typed Bear at 29 last!!! as he hears this.

MARK (CONT'D)
That's my two cents. Thank you.

Mark pats Bruce Miller on the back as he takes his seat.

THE HOST
Does our bull have a response?

BRUCE MILLER
Only that in the history of Wall
Street, no investment bank has ever
failed except when caught in
criminal activities. So I stand by
my Bear Stearns optimism.

A YOUNG BANKER stands, unwilling to wait for the Q & A.

YOUNG BANKER
Mr. Miller! Sorry. Quick Question.
(re: his Blackberry)
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 117.

YOUNG BANKER (CONT'D)
From the time you guys started
talking, Bear Stearns stock has
fallen more than 38 percent. Would
you buy more now?

BRUCE MILLER
(unsure)
Sure. Yeah. I'd buy more. Why not?

Awkward silence.

Mark whispers into his mic...

MARK
Boom.

Mark watches the whole room scramble for the aisles.
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In a tense debate at a Deutsche Bank conference, Mark Baum passionately critiques the financial system, arguing that Wall Street's greed has led to widespread fraud. As Bear Stearns' stock crashes, the audience's anxiety grows, contrasting with Bruce Miller's bullish optimism. A young banker challenges Miller's confidence, highlighting the shifting sentiment in the room. The scene culminates in chaos as Mark sardonicly declares 'Boom,' signaling the impending financial crisis.
Strengths
  • Powerful dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Thematic resonance
Weaknesses
  • Potential for information overload
  • Lack of visual variety

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, emotionally charged, and sets the stage for significant developments in the financial crisis narrative. Mark's speech is a standout moment that encapsulates the core themes of the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9.3

The concept of contrasting realism with optimism in the face of financial crisis is compelling and thought-provoking. The scene effectively explores themes of fraud, short-sightedness, and the impact on society.

Plot: 9.1

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene, with key revelations, character dynamics, and thematic exploration. It sets the stage for further developments and raises the stakes for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the financial crisis, presenting complex ideas in a relatable and engaging way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and compelling.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Mark Baum, are well-developed and their motivations, conflicts, and emotional states are effectively portrayed. The scene deepens our understanding of the characters and their roles in the story.

Character Changes: 9

Mark Baum undergoes a significant emotional transformation in this scene, moving from frustration and anger to a sense of sadness and resignation. This change in his demeanor adds complexity to his character.

Internal Goal: 9

Mark Baum's internal goal is to expose the fraud and short-sightedness prevalent in the financial industry and express his sadness and disappointment in the current state of affairs.

External Goal: 8

Mark Baum's external goal is to challenge the bullish investor's optimism about Bear Stearns and make a statement about the consequences regular people will face due to the financial crisis.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.3

The conflict in the scene is intense, primarily stemming from the ideological clash between Mark Baum's realism and the bullish optimism of other investors. This conflict drives the tension and drama of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and high stakes that create uncertainty and suspense for the audience.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene as the characters grapple with the impending financial crisis, personal beliefs, and moral dilemmas. The decisions made here have far-reaching consequences for the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing key conflicts, advancing the plot, and setting up future developments. It marks a crucial turning point in the narrative and raises the stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected turn of events, such as Mark Baum's bold statements and the audience's reaction.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Mark Baum's belief in exposing fraud and short-sightedness versus the bullish investor's optimism and confidence in the financial system.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, concern, and reflection. Mark's impassioned speech and the gravity of the situation resonate deeply with the audience.

Dialogue: 9.4

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and reveals the characters' personalities, beliefs, and conflicts. Mark's speech is particularly memorable and drives home the central themes of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic dialogue, high stakes, and moral dilemmas that resonate with the audience.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome of the confrontation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting adheres to industry standards, with clear scene descriptions and character actions that enhance the visual and emotional impact of the dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-heavy, high-stakes confrontation in a financial setting, building tension and conflict effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and stakes of the financial crisis, with Mark Baum's passionate speech serving as a powerful counterpoint to Bruce Miller's bullish optimism. However, the dialogue could benefit from more varied pacing to enhance the emotional impact. Mark's speech is compelling, but it risks feeling overly didactic at times. Balancing the exposition with more personal anecdotes or emotional stakes could deepen the audience's connection to the characters and the gravity of the situation.
  • The use of humor, particularly in Mark's interactions with Bruce, adds levity to an otherwise serious topic. However, the humor could be sharpened to ensure it lands effectively without undermining the seriousness of the message. For instance, Mark's quips could be more pointed or sarcastic to emphasize his frustration with the financial system.
  • The scene's structure is solid, with a clear buildup to Mark's speech and the subsequent chaos. However, the transition from Mark's speech to the audience's reaction could be more dynamic. Instead of simply stating that the room erupts into chaos, consider showing specific reactions from the audience members to create a more vivid picture of the panic and urgency.
  • The visual elements are well-described, but they could be enhanced by incorporating more sensory details. For example, describing the atmosphere in the auditorium—such as the tension in the air, the murmurs of the crowd, or the expressions on the investors' faces—could heighten the emotional stakes and immerse the audience further into the scene.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally effective, but the climax could be more pronounced. The moment when Mark delivers his final line, 'Boom,' is impactful, but it could be preceded by a more dramatic buildup. Consider adding a moment of silence or a pause before Mark's line to amplify its effect and allow the audience to fully absorb the weight of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more personal stakes or anecdotes in Mark's speech to create a deeper emotional connection with the audience.
  • Sharpen the humor in Mark's dialogue to ensure it effectively highlights his frustration without detracting from the seriousness of the topic.
  • Enhance the transition from Mark's speech to the audience's reaction by showing specific reactions from audience members to create a more vivid picture of the chaos.
  • Add sensory details to the visual description of the auditorium to immerse the audience in the atmosphere and heighten the emotional stakes.
  • Consider adding a dramatic pause or moment of silence before Mark's final line to amplify its impact and allow the audience to fully absorb the gravity of the situation.



Scene 56 - Crisis Unfolds
138 INT. BACK HALLWAY TO AUDITORIUM - DAY 138

A PR PERSON leads ALAN GREENSPAN (never fully seen) and his
ENTOURAGE toward an auditorium door.

PR PERSON
This way Mr. Greenspan. We are so
honored to have you here today...


139 INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY 139

The PR Person leads Greenspan and entourage in up front.
THERE ARE ONLY SIX AUDIENCE MEMBERS in the vast hall.

PR PERSON
What the hell?

CUT TO:


140 EXT. TIMES SQUARE - PRE-DAWN 140

Empty. The SCROLL is dead.

Suddenly, it flickers and kicks to life as if re-booted.

The first message says it all...

Lehman bankruptcy leaves country in turmoil.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 118.


141 EXT. PLAZA - LEHMAN BROTHERS HQ - DAY 141

A beautiful day. Charlie stands on a bench watching LEHMAN
EMPLOYEES with effects boxes exit through a PRESS gauntlet.

September 15, 2008

Jamie ends a call below him.

JAMIE
That was Ben . The Dow has dropped
1800 points in the last three days.
He thinks the price of gold could
go higher than the Dow. Up is now
officially down.

Charlie is still watching the chaos at Lehman.

CHARLIE
I want to see inside.

JAMIE
How?


142 EXT. WEST 49TH STREET - DAY 142

His box already in a taxi, a LEHMAN GUY looks from Jamie and
Charlie’s expectant faces to the building. Fuck it.

The Guy takes off his ID tag and hands it over.

CHARLIE
Which floor's fixed income?


143 INT. FRONTPOINT OFFICE - LATER THAT DAY 143

Vinny is on the phone. Danny and Porter work quietly if
feverishly at their desks that are covered in screens.

VINNY
Mark! Answer your phone! We have to
sell! This whole thing’s blowing
up!

DANNY
Prices are moving... I can't get a
fix!

Danny's panicked.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 119.


DANNY (CONT'D)
We have like 70 positions...I
can't...I don't know what's
happening to anything!
Morgan's lost a third of it's
value.

Vinny and Porter exchange a worried glance.

VINNY
Is it a run?

DANNY
I don't know.

VINNY
Danny, is there a run on Morgan
Stanley?!

DANNY
I don't know!

Danny squints at his screens; something's wrong with his
vision. He's soaking wet. Looks down at his chest.

DANNY (CONT'D)
I think I'm having a heart attack.

PORTER
No, you're not.

He's extremely pale but doesn't walk from the desk, tries to
regulate his breathing as Porter and Vinny watch.

PORTER (CONT’D)
You're not having a heart attack.
(no response)
You're not having a heart attack.
(no response)
You're not having a heart attack.

Danny looks as if he can't hear.

PORTER (CONT'D)
All right, maybe you are.

Vinny picks up the phone to call 911.

VINNY
Hello, we need an ambulance, now!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 120.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary In a tense scene, Alan Greenspan arrives at an auditorium expecting a large audience but finds only six attendees, highlighting the disconnect amid a national financial crisis. Meanwhile, chaos erupts outside Lehman Brothers HQ as employees flee with their belongings following the company's bankruptcy. Charlie, eager to witness the turmoil firsthand, receives an ID tag from a distressed Lehman employee. The scene shifts to the Frontpoint office, where Vinny frantically manages the fallout while Danny, overwhelmed by the situation, fears he is having a heart attack. As tension escalates, Porter calls for an ambulance, underscoring the urgency of the crisis.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Conveying urgency and panic
  • Character reactions to crisis
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in the chaotic environment

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the high stakes and urgency of the financial collapse, creating tension and uncertainty for the characters and the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the financial collapse and the characters' reactions to the unfolding crisis. It effectively captures the chaos and uncertainty of the situation.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene focuses on the characters' responses to the Lehman Brothers bankruptcy and the escalating financial turmoil. It moves the story forward by highlighting the impact of the crisis on the characters.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces fresh situations and approaches to familiar themes of financial crisis and ethical dilemmas. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are faced with critical decisions and high stakes, showcasing their reactions to the unfolding crisis. Their actions and dialogue drive the tension and urgency of the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant changes as they are forced to confront the reality of the financial collapse and make critical decisions under pressure. Their actions and decisions reflect their evolving perspectives and priorities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the chaos and uncertainty of the financial crisis unfolding around him. This reflects his deeper need for control and stability in a volatile environment.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to manage the escalating situation at the FrontPoint office and ensure the safety of his colleagues. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with a potential financial collapse.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict as the characters face the repercussions of the financial collapse and make critical decisions under pressure. The escalating chaos and panic create a high level of conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing difficult challenges and obstacles that add to the tension and uncertainty of the situation.

High Stakes: 9

The scene has high stakes as the characters face the consequences of the financial collapse and make critical decisions that could impact their futures. The escalating chaos and panic raise the stakes for the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showcasing the impact of the financial collapse on the characters and their decisions in response to the crisis. It sets the stage for further developments in the plot.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the financial crisis and the characters' reactions to the escalating situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between financial gain and ethical responsibility. The characters are faced with difficult decisions that challenge their beliefs and values in the face of a crisis.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a high emotional impact as the characters grapple with fear, confusion, and urgency in response to the financial crisis. The escalating chaos and panic evoke strong emotions in the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' fear, confusion, and urgency in response to the financial crisis. It enhances the tension and chaos of the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, high stakes, and emotional intensity. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and the unfolding crisis.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds suspense and maintains the audience's interest, contributing to its overall effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for a screenplay in this genre.

Structure: 9

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, following the expected format for a high-stakes drama.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaos and urgency of the financial crisis, particularly through the contrasting settings of the auditorium and the Lehman Brothers HQ. However, the transition between these locations could be smoother to maintain narrative flow.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks emotional depth. While the panic and urgency are conveyed, the characters' internal struggles and fears could be more vividly expressed to create a stronger connection with the audience.
  • Danny's panic attack is a significant moment, but it feels somewhat abrupt. More buildup to his physical distress could enhance the tension and make the audience more invested in his well-being.
  • The use of visual elements, such as the empty auditorium and the chaos outside Lehman Brothers, is effective in illustrating the stark contrast between expectation and reality. However, the scene could benefit from more descriptive language to paint a clearer picture of the characters' surroundings and emotional states.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven. The initial buildup with Greenspan's arrival is quickly overshadowed by the frantic energy of the Lehman scene. A more balanced pacing could help maintain tension throughout.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Charlie and Jamie before they receive the ID tag, allowing them to express their thoughts on the gravity of the situation. This could deepen their characterization and heighten the stakes.
  • Expand on Danny's physical symptoms leading up to his declaration of a heart attack. This could involve him noticing other signs of stress or panic, making his eventual breakdown feel more earned.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere. Describe the sounds, smells, and sights in the office and outside Lehman Brothers to immerse the audience in the chaos.
  • Introduce a moment of levity or dark humor amidst the tension to provide contrast and make the characters more relatable. This could be a quip from Vinny or Porter that highlights the absurdity of the situation.
  • Ensure that the transitions between scenes are clear and purposeful. Consider using a visual or auditory cue to signal the shift from the auditorium to the chaos outside Lehman Brothers, helping the audience follow the narrative more easily.



Scene 57 - Aftermath of Collapse
144 INT. LEHMAN ELEVATOR BANKS - DAY 144

A DIMINUTIVE EXEC is in the flow of departing Employees.

DIMINUTIVE EXEC
Go straight to your transportation!
Do not talk to the press! Go
straight to your transportation! Do
not talk to the press!

Jamie holds up the pass for a Guard, who hurriedly waves he
and Charlie through the turnstile, like two diplomats
slipping back in the embassy as Saigon falls.


145 INT. TRADING FLOOR - LEHMAN BROTHERS - DAY 145

Abandoned. A few EMPLOYEES pack. Loose paper's everywhere.

Charlie and Jamie walk through the destruction: plundered
desks; emptied picture frames; sad tchotkes.

On one desk, someone's made a pyramid of Red Bull cans.

On one wall, someone's painted a huge...LEH: 0.00.

CHARLIE
This isn't how I pictured it.

JAMIE
What'd you think we'd find?

Charlie considers this question a few seconds.

CHARLIE
The grown-ups.


146 EXT. ST. PATRICK'S CATHEDRAL - DAY 146

A BUSINESS CROWD passes.

On the church steps, Danny is now okay. He, Vinny and Porter
watch the crowd, rushing past, oblivious.

VINNY
You okay?

DANNY
Yeah... I think so. It’s
embarrassing. I really thought I
was having a heart attack.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 121.


PORTER
Let’s go to dinner tonight. I hear
there’s a great new Cuban joint in
the lower east side.

DANNY
Really? I’d like that.

Vinny paces. His Blackberry RINGS.

VINNY
Mark, finally!
(answering)
Hey, it's a bloodbath up here.


147 EXT. UPPER EAST SIDE APARTMENT ROOF GARDEN - SAME TIME 147

Mark sits at a table with his laptop and a coffee, shell
shocked staring off into the building around him.

Vinny's on Mark’s cell phone speaker.

VINNY (O.S.)
Word's out. Morgan's stock has lost
half its value. Down to 23.10.
Clients are wanting to talk to you
about pulling their money.
(then)
It's now or never. We gotta sell
Mark.
(silence)
Hello?
(nothing)
Mark?!

MARK
Yeah.

CLOSE on MARK. He's staring at nothing.

VINNY (O.S.)
At least tell me what you're
thinking.

FADE TO BLACK:

MICHAEL BURRY (V.O.)
I met my wife on Match.com. My
profile said, quote, I am a medical
student with only one eye, an
awkward social manner, and $145,000
in student loans, end quote.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 122.

MICHAEL BURRY (V.O.) (CONT'D)
She wrote back: you're just what
I've been looking for. She meant
honest. So, let me be honest...


148 INT. SCION OFFICE - DAY 148

Bare feet on corporate carpet.

MIKE (V.O.)
...making money is not like I
thought it would be.

Mike's at the Assistant's Desk sorting through a stack of his
mail. He's also listening to the VOICE MAIL on the phone's
speaker, erasing most messages after they start.

VOICE MAIL MESSAGE
Oh, Mike, this is Kerry Mann down
at Camelot Capital. Listen, we see
you're jumping back in the equities
market in a big way. In this
environment, we're not sure that's
a wise--

He hits ERASE. And keeps sorting.

MIKE (V.O.)
This business kills the part of
life that is essential: the part
that has nothing to do with
business.
Genres: ["Drama","Finance"]

Summary In a chaotic scene at Lehman Brothers, a diminutive executive urges departing employees to avoid the press as Jamie and Charlie navigate the disarray of the abandoned trading floor. Charlie expresses disappointment at the state of the office, while outside St. Patrick's Cathedral, Danny discusses his health scare with Vinny and Porter, who receives urgent news from Mark about the financial crisis. The scene concludes with Mike reflecting on the emotional toll of the business as he sorts through his mail and listens to a warning voicemail.
Strengths
  • Emotional impact
  • Character reflections
  • Plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional impact and high stakes of the financial collapse, setting a somber tone and reflecting on the consequences of greed and financial mismanagement.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the aftermath of a financial collapse and its impact on the characters is compelling and relevant, providing insight into the human side of the financial crisis.

Plot: 8.5

The plot effectively moves forward by showcasing the aftermath of Lehman Brothers' collapse, the characters' reactions, and the escalating financial crisis, setting the stage for further developments.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the aftermath of a financial collapse, exploring the personal and emotional impact on individuals within the corporate world. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and reflections in the scene are well-developed, showcasing their emotional responses to the financial crisis and hinting at potential character arcs and growth.

Character Changes: 7

The characters show signs of potential change and growth in their reflections and reactions to the financial crisis, hinting at future developments.

Internal Goal: 8

Charlie's internal goal is to come to terms with the disillusionment of his idealized image of the corporate world and the 'grown-ups' he expected to find.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the aftermath of the Lehman Brothers collapse and understand the reality of the situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, reflecting the characters' struggles with the aftermath of the financial collapse and their own roles in the crisis.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is subtle but impactful, with the characters facing internal and external challenges that test their beliefs and values. The uncertainty of the situation adds to the sense of conflict and drama.

High Stakes: 9

The scene conveys the high stakes of the financial crisis and the personal consequences for the characters, highlighting the urgency and impact of the situation.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showcasing the aftermath of Lehman Brothers' collapse and setting the stage for further developments in the financial crisis.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in terms of the characters' emotional responses and the unfolding consequences of the financial collapse. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters will navigate the challenges they face.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's realization of the true nature of the corporate world and the loss of innocence and idealism.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, conveying the devastation, reflection, and tension of the characters in the wake of Lehman Brothers' collapse.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' concerns, reflections, and tensions in the face of the financial crisis, adding depth to their interactions and emotional states.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional depth, character development, and the sense of impending crisis and uncertainty. The interactions between characters and the unfolding events keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and character introspection. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences enhances the overall impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure, transitioning smoothly between different locations and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the overall effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaos and emotional weight of the financial crisis, particularly through the contrasting settings of the abandoned Lehman trading floor and the frantic conversations outside. However, the transition between these locations could be smoother to enhance the flow of the narrative.
  • The dialogue between Charlie and Jamie is brief but impactful, showcasing their disillusionment. However, it could benefit from more depth to further explore their emotional states and expectations. Adding a line or two that reflects their personal stakes in the crisis could heighten the tension.
  • The visual imagery of the abandoned trading floor is strong, particularly the details like the pyramid of Red Bull cans and the 'LEH: 0.00' graffiti. These elements effectively symbolize the collapse of the institution. However, the scene could include more sensory details (sounds, smells) to immerse the audience further in the environment.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly rushed, especially as it transitions from the elevator banks to the trading floor. A moment of stillness or reflection could allow the audience to absorb the gravity of the situation before moving on to the next location.
  • The emotional tone shifts between the chaos of the outside world and the introspection of Mark on the roof garden. While this contrast is interesting, it may benefit from a clearer thematic connection between the two settings to reinforce the overarching narrative of the financial collapse.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Charlie and Jamie as they walk through the trading floor, allowing them to express their feelings about the situation more explicitly. This could deepen their character development and enhance audience connection.
  • Incorporate more sensory details in the descriptions of the settings, such as the sounds of chaos outside or the eerie silence of the trading floor, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Smooth out the transitions between locations by including a line or two that connects the emotional weight of the trading floor with Mark's introspection on the roof garden, reinforcing the theme of disillusionment and loss.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a moment of tension or conflict between Charlie and Jamie as they navigate the chaos, which could heighten the stakes and showcase their differing perspectives on the crisis.
  • Consider extending the voicemail message that Mike Burry receives to provide more context about the concerns surrounding his investment decisions, which could add depth to his character and the overall narrative.



Scene 58 - The Cost of Opportunity
149 INT. MINI-MART - DAY 149

Burry’s FORMER ASSISTANT is stocking Red Bulls in a
convenience store.


A150 EXT. UPSCALE MIAMI NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY A150

The neighborhood Baum toured with the real estate agent is
now covered with foreclosure signs.


150 INT. SEMINAR ROOM - CORPORATE HOTEL - DAY 150

With two dozen others, Marlene and the Younger Agent are
taking a seminar, “You Can Be a Real Estate Millionaire”.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 122A.


SEMINAR LEADER #2
(again)
The housing crisis represents the
greatest financial opportunity of
your lifetime!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 123.


151 EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY 151

The Man with the Tattooed Head comes out of the store and
hurries to his CAR, carrying food. When he gets in, we see
his child, wife and their stuff. They now live in the car.

MIKE (V.O.)
For the past two years my insides
have felt like they’re eating
themselves. All the people I
respected won’t talk to me anymore
except through lawyers...


152 INT. BASKETBALL ARENA - MIAMI UNIVERSITY - DAY 152

A large JOB FAIR.

Maroon waits in a long line for his turn with an ADVISOR, one
of many in a row of folding tables. He looks over to see his
friend, Black, in another line. Nods. Hey. Hey.

MIKE (V.O.)
People want an authority to tell
them how to value things. But they
chose this authority not based on
facts or results. They chose it
because it seems authoritative and
familiar. And I am not and never
have been... “familiar.”


153 INT. CAB - DAY 153

The West African Cab Driver that drove Mark looks at his
401K. It says -43,540 dollars. Leaving only 46k.


154 INT. MIKE'S OFFICE - NIGHT 154

Mike types the email we've been hearing in VO throughout.

MIKE (V.O.)
So, I've come to the sullen
realization that I must close down
the fund.


155 INT. SCION OFFICE - NIGHT 155

It's the night Mike erased the WHITE BOARD in the empty
office.

This time, we watch him write his fund's growth...+489%.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 124.


MIKE (V.O.)
I am writing this to inform you
that earlier today I sold off all
positions for Scion Fund.

He circles it. Then walks out.


156 INT. OFFICE - DEUTSCHE BANK - DAY 156

Inscrutable, Jared Vennett considers a BONUS LETTER on his
desk. He talks to camera.

JARED
(to camera)
I can’t really say it to anyone
else, but I’ll say it to you: I was
right. I took a rash of shit for
the past two years but I was right.

His bonus for 2008 is $47,000,000.

JARED (CONT’D)
Hey I never said I was the hero of
this story.

He kisses the check.

JARED (CONT’D)
I can feel you judging me...
Remember, I made this bank 20
billion. My two bosses lost 30
billion and still got fifty million
in bonuses. You didn’t see that on
your news did you?
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a poignant scene, the fallout of the housing crisis is depicted through various characters and settings. Burry's former assistant stocks shelves in a mini-mart, while Marlene and the Younger Agent attend a seminar promoting real estate opportunities amidst the crisis. A man with a tattooed head struggles with his family's living situation, now residing in their car. Mike reflects on his deteriorating relationships and the nature of authority in finance through voiceover. Maroon searches for new opportunities at a job fair, and Jared Vennett at Deutsche Bank contemplates the moral implications of his controversial success. The scene captures the somber realities of the financial crisis and its impact on individuals.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Realistic portrayal of financial crisis
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in some character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight and consequences of the financial crisis, providing insight into the characters' struggles and decisions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the personal and professional ramifications of the financial crisis is compelling and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot revolves around the characters' reactions and decisions in response to the financial crisis, driving the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on the financial crisis and its impact on individuals, with authentic dialogue and realistic portrayals of characters' struggles.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, showcasing their vulnerabilities, conflicts, and moral dilemmas in the face of the crisis.

Character Changes: 9

Several characters undergo significant emotional and moral changes, grappling with their beliefs and decisions in the face of the crisis.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with the consequences of his actions and the impact they have had on others. He is grappling with feelings of guilt and regret.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to inform his investors that he must close down the fund due to financial losses.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The conflict arises from the characters' internal struggles, ethical dilemmas, and the external pressures of the financial crisis.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene, represented by the protagonist's moral dilemma and financial losses, adds complexity and depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of financial ruin, personal loss, and moral dilemmas heighten the tension and impact of the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene advances the story by revealing the characters' reactions and choices in response to the escalating financial crisis.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it challenges conventional narratives about financial success and moral responsibility.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the consequences of financial decisions and the morality of profiting from others' losses.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, portraying the characters' despair, regret, and uncertainty effectively.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, thoughts, and interactions, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the protagonist's emotional journey and moral dilemmas, creating a sense of empathy and intrigue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, enhancing the impact of the protagonist's decisions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing the clarity and impact of the storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the protagonist's internal and external conflicts.


Critique
  • The scene effectively juxtaposes the stark realities of the housing crisis with the misguided optimism of the seminar attendees, highlighting the disconnect between the financial elite and the everyday struggles of people affected by the crisis. However, the transitions between locations feel somewhat abrupt, which can disrupt the flow of the narrative. A smoother transition could enhance the coherence of the scene.
  • Mike's voiceover provides a poignant reflection on the emotional toll of the financial crisis, but it could benefit from more specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate his feelings of isolation and despair. This would deepen the audience's connection to his character and the broader implications of the crisis.
  • The use of visual elements, such as the tattooed man living in his car and the seminar attendees, effectively conveys the contrasting experiences of different characters. However, the scene could further explore the emotional weight of these visuals by incorporating more character reactions or interactions that emphasize the gravity of their situations.
  • Jared's monologue at Deutsche Bank serves as a powerful commentary on the moral ambiguity of the financial industry, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the preceding scenes. Integrating his perspective more seamlessly into the narrative could enhance the thematic cohesion of the screenplay.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven, with some moments feeling rushed while others linger too long. A more balanced pacing would allow the audience to absorb the emotional weight of the characters' experiences and the broader implications of the financial crisis.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding transitional phrases or visual cues that connect the different locations more fluidly, helping the audience follow the narrative without feeling disoriented.
  • Incorporate specific anecdotes or examples in Mike's voiceover that illustrate his feelings of isolation and despair, making his emotional journey more relatable to the audience.
  • Enhance the emotional impact of the visuals by including character reactions or interactions that highlight the gravity of their situations, allowing the audience to empathize with their struggles.
  • Integrate Jared's monologue more seamlessly into the narrative by providing context or foreshadowing his perspective earlier in the scene, creating a stronger thematic connection.
  • Adjust the pacing of the scene to ensure a more balanced rhythm, allowing the audience to fully absorb the emotional weight of the characters' experiences and the implications of the financial crisis.



Scene 59 - Disillusion on the Roof
157 EXT. UPPER EAST SIDE APARTMENT ROOF GARDEN - DAY 157

Mark as before, quiet, talking to Vinny via cell phone.

MUSIC: A piano piece like THE TWINS by MAX RICHTER fades in
slowly

VINNY (O.S.)
Mark!? At least tell me what you're
thinking.

MARK
Paulson and Bernanke just left the
White House. There's going to be a
bailout.

Mark’s voice is full of masked emotion, quiet, resigned.
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 124A.


VINNY (O.S.)
You're serious?!
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 125.


MARK
Yeah... The whole time we were
wondering how the big banks could
be so stupid... They didn’t care.
They knew the tax payers had to
bail em out.

VINNY (V.O.)
Those fuckers.
(and then)
At least we’ll see some of them go
to jail. And they’re going to have
to break up the banks.

MARK
I don’t know Vinny. I bet in a few
years we’ll be doing what people
always do when the economy goes
south: blaming immigrants and poor
people.

JARED (V.O.)
But Mark was wrong. In the years
that followed 100’s of bankers and
rating’s agency executives went to
jail. The SEC was completely
overhauled.


158 MONTAGE OF REFORM IMAGERY: 1. HEARINGS AT CONGRESS. 2. THE158
DODD/FRANK BANKING REFORM BEING SIGNED, 3. BANKERS BEING PERP
WALKED IN HANDCUFFS.

JARED (V.O.)
And Congress had no choice but to
break up the big banks and regulate
the mortgage and derivatives
industries.
(Beat)
Just kidding.


159 SMASH TO: VT. OF 1) PEOPLE SCREAMING AT IMMIGRANT CHILDREN159
ON
THE BORDER. 2) GOVERNORS AND TALK SHOW HOSTS BLAMING TEACHERS
3)CONGRESS VOTING DOWN SERIOUS BANKING REFORM.

JARED (V.O.)
The banks took the money the
American people gave them and used
it to lobby the Congress to kill
big reform. And then America blamed
immigrants and poor people. And
this time... even teachers.
(MORE)
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 126.

JARED (V.O.) (CONT'D)
And when all was said and done,
only one single banker went to
jail.

PICTURE OF THE ONE BANKER WHO WENT TO JAIL.

JARED (V.O.)
This poor schmuck. Kareem
Serageldin from Credit Suisse. He
hid a few billion in mortgage bond
losses. Something most of the big
banks do on a good day. I’m sure it
didn’t hurt that he was of Egyptian
decent...
Genres: ["Drama","Satire"]

Summary On the roof garden of an Upper East Side apartment, Mark speaks with Vinny about the impending bailout, expressing skepticism about its effectiveness and the tendency of society to blame immigrants and the poor for economic issues. Vinny reacts with anger, while Jared's voiceover highlights the lack of accountability in the financial system, noting that only one banker faced consequences. The scene contrasts the serene setting with the heavy conversation, ending with a stark reminder of the failure to hold the powerful accountable.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Satirical commentary
  • Cynical tone
Weaknesses
  • Lack of character development
  • Subtle conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a sense of resignation and cynicism towards the lack of consequences for those responsible for the financial crisis, while also satirizing the societal response to the events.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the aftermath of the financial crisis through a satirical lens is innovative and thought-provoking, offering a unique perspective on the societal response to economic collapse.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the aftermath of the financial crisis and the lack of accountability, effectively advancing the narrative by highlighting the consequences of the characters' actions.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the financial crisis narrative by focusing on the aftermath and societal reactions. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and reflect real-world events.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene convey a sense of resignation and cynicism, reflecting the overall tone of the scene. Their interactions and dialogue contribute to the satirical commentary on the financial crisis.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in the scene, the characters' reactions and dialogue reflect their resignation and cynicism towards the events unfolding.

Internal Goal: 8

Mark's internal goal is to come to terms with the reality of the financial situation and his disillusionment with the system. This reflects his deeper need for understanding and justice.

External Goal: 7

Mark's external goal is to navigate the changing political and economic landscape and understand the implications for himself and society.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is more subtle, revolving around the societal implications of the financial crisis and the lack of accountability, creating tension through the characters' dialogue and actions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and societal forces at play.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters grapple with the aftermath of the financial crisis and the lack of accountability for those responsible.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by exploring the consequences of the financial crisis and setting the stage for the societal response to economic collapse.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in the narrative and the characters' reactions to the events.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the ideals of justice and fairness versus the reality of corruption and power dynamics. This challenges Mark's beliefs in the system and the possibility of change.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of resignation and cynicism, eliciting an emotional response from the audience through its critical commentary on the aftermath of the financial crisis.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the tone of resignation and cynicism, providing sharp commentary on the lack of accountability in the financial industry.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its relevant and thought-provoking dialogue, as well as the tension between characters and societal issues.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, contributing to its overall impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for its genre.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the dialogue and narrative progression. It fits the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of the financial crisis and the disillusionment of the characters, particularly Mark. His resigned tone and the dialogue with Vinny convey a sense of helplessness in the face of systemic corruption, which resonates with the audience. However, the emotional impact could be heightened by incorporating more visual elements that reflect Mark's internal struggle, such as close-ups of his facial expressions or the surrounding environment that mirrors his feelings.
  • The use of voiceover from Jared adds a layer of commentary that contrasts with Mark's perspective, but it risks undermining the emotional gravity of the scene. The humor in Jared's voiceover, particularly the 'just kidding' line, may detract from the seriousness of the subject matter. This tonal shift could confuse the audience about the intended emotional response, as it oscillates between somber reflection and dark humor.
  • The montage of reform imagery following Mark's conversation is a strong visual choice, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the preceding dialogue. The transition from Mark's personal lament to a broader commentary on systemic failures could be smoother. The montage could benefit from a more gradual build-up, perhaps by interspersing Mark's dialogue with visuals that illustrate the consequences of the bailout and the public's reaction.
  • The final lines about the single banker going to jail serve as a powerful indictment of the system, but the preceding commentary about blaming immigrants and poor people could be more nuanced. While it highlights a critical issue, it risks oversimplifying the complexities of societal blame during economic crises. A more layered approach could enhance the scene's depth and provoke thoughtful reflection from the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more visual storytelling elements to enhance the emotional resonance of Mark's character. Close-ups or shots of the rooftop garden could symbolize his isolation and despair amidst the chaos below.
  • Reevaluate the tone of Jared's voiceover. If the intention is to maintain a serious critique of the financial system, consider toning down the humor to preserve the gravity of the situation.
  • Smooth the transition between Mark's dialogue and the montage by incorporating visuals that reflect his emotional state or the immediate aftermath of the bailout, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Explore a more nuanced portrayal of societal blame in the aftermath of the crisis. This could involve showing reactions from various societal groups or individuals, allowing for a more complex discussion of accountability and responsibility.



Scene 60 - The Weight of Profit
160 EXT. UPPER EAST SIDE APARTMENT ROOF GARDEN - CONTINUOUS 160

Mark silently looks off into the distance, still on the phone
with Vinny.

VINNY (V.O.)
Mark?
(beat)
Can we sell now? The fund’ll make
almost a billion dollars... You’ll
clear 200 mill Mark.

MARK
You know once we sell we’re just
like all the rest...

VINNY (V.O.)
No we’re not Mark... We didn’t prey
on people’s dreams of owning a
home... They did. And now we can
kick em in the teeth.

MARK
A billion dollars...

VINNY
That’s right. But we’ve got to sell
or it could be zero. It’s now or
never. It really is.

Long beat.

MARK
Okay... Sell it all.

The Big Short
BUFF REVISED, MAY 11, 2015 127.


MUSIC: ORCHESTRAL THEME.

And then over black...

“When the dust settled from the collapse 5 trillion dollars
in pension money, real estate value, 401k, savings, and bonds
had disappeared. 8 million people lost their jobs, six
million lost their homes. And that was just in the USA.”

“Charlie Geller and Jamie Shipley attempted to sue the
ratings agencies but were laughed out of all law offices.
Jamie still runs Brownfield with Ben Rickert but Charlie left
New York to live in Charlotte and start a family. He did not
go on Lithium.”

“Cynthia says Mark Baum actually became gracious after the
collapse and never said “I told you so” to anyone. But he did
give large sums of his money to a charity that helps people
escape from cults. Danny, Vinny and Porter all still run a
fund together and are as terrified as ever.”

“Michael Burry contacted the government several times to see
if anyone wanted to interview him to find out how he knew the
system would collapse years before anyone else. No one ever
returned his calls. But he was audited four times and
questioned by the FBI. The small investing he still does is
all focused on one commodity: water.”

After a beat...

“In 2015 several large banks began selling billions in
something called a “bespoke tranche opportunity.” Which
according to the Wall Street Journal is just another name for
a CDO.”

END.
Genres: ["Drama","Thriller"]

Summary On the roof garden of an Upper East Side apartment, Mark grapples with a moral dilemma during a tense phone call with Vinny about selling their investment fund. Despite his initial reservations about losing their ethical standing, Mark ultimately succumbs to Vinny's pressure and agrees to sell, motivated by the prospect of nearly a billion dollars in profit. The scene concludes with text overlays that reveal the devastating aftermath of the financial collapse, highlighting the significant losses faced by various characters.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Strong character development
  • Compelling dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Reliance on dialogue for tension buildup

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is intense, emotionally charged, and crucial to the overall plot. It effectively conveys the high stakes and moral complexities faced by the characters, leading to a powerful resolution.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around the ethical dilemma faced by the characters in the financial world, exploring themes of greed, morality, and accountability. It delves into the consequences of their actions and decisions.

Plot: 9.2

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the overall story, setting up key developments and character arcs. It heightens the tension and sets the stage for the resolution of the financial crisis.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the financial crisis, exploring the moral implications of profiting from the collapse. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with complex motivations and conflicts. Their interactions and decisions drive the narrative forward and reveal deeper layers of their personalities.

Character Changes: 9

Mark undergoes a significant change in the scene, moving from skepticism to a resigned acceptance of the situation. His decision to sell reflects a shift in his perspective and priorities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to grapple with his moral compass and the consequences of his actions. Mark struggles with the decision to sell and the ethical implications of profiting from the financial crisis.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to make a financial decision that will impact his wealth and future. Mark must decide whether to sell and potentially make a significant profit or hold onto his investments.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, driving the characters to make difficult decisions and face the consequences of their actions. The conflict heightens the drama and tension of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and motivations driving the characters' decisions. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding to the tension and drama.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes in the scene are incredibly high, with the characters facing the potential loss of their fund and the consequences of their actions on a larger scale. The decision to sell represents a critical moment in the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by resolving a major plot point and setting the stage for the aftermath of the financial crisis. It introduces new challenges and developments that will impact the characters' futures.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting motivations and the uncertain outcome of their decisions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the morality of profiting from the financial crisis. Mark and Vinny debate the ethics of their actions, highlighting the clash between financial gain and ethical responsibility.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting feelings of tension, resignation, and cynicism from the audience. It effectively conveys the characters' internal struggles and the weight of their decisions.

Dialogue: 8.8

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, reflecting the characters' emotions and the high-stakes nature of the situation. It effectively conveys the tension and moral dilemmas faced by the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, moral dilemmas, and intense emotional conflict. The audience is drawn into the characters' decisions and the ethical complexities they face.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense through the characters' dialogue and decision-making process. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, building tension through dialogue and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the moral dilemma faced by Mark as he contemplates selling the fund. The dialogue between Mark and Vinny highlights the tension between financial gain and ethical considerations, which is central to the narrative. However, the emotional weight of Mark's decision could be enhanced by incorporating more internal conflict or visual cues that reflect his turmoil.
  • The use of a phone conversation allows for a sense of immediacy and urgency, but it also limits the visual storytelling. Consider adding visual elements that show Mark's surroundings or his emotional state, such as close-ups of his facial expressions or the environment around him, to deepen the audience's connection to his internal struggle.
  • The transition to the text overlays summarizing the aftermath of the financial collapse is impactful, but it may feel abrupt to some viewers. A smoother transition or a brief moment of reflection from Mark before the text appears could help maintain the emotional flow of the scene.
  • The orchestral music cue is a strong choice, but it could be more effectively integrated with the dialogue. The music should complement the emotional tone of the conversation rather than overshadow it. Consider using the music to build tension during the conversation and then swell as the text overlays appear, enhancing the gravity of the situation.
  • The final text overlays provide important context and closure, but they could benefit from a more personal touch. Instead of just stating facts, consider including brief anecdotes or quotes from the characters that reflect their emotional journeys post-collapse, making the impact of the crisis feel more personal and relatable.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate visual elements that reflect Mark's emotional state, such as close-ups of his face or shots of the city skyline, to enhance the audience's connection to his internal conflict.
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or reflection from Mark before the text overlays appear, allowing the audience to absorb the weight of his decision.
  • Adjust the orchestral music to build tension during the conversation and swell as the text overlays appear, ensuring it complements the emotional tone of the scene.
  • Include brief anecdotes or quotes from the characters in the text overlays to provide a more personal touch and deepen the emotional impact of the aftermath.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a visual metaphor or symbol that represents the moral conflict Mark faces, such as a contrasting image of wealth and poverty, to visually reinforce the themes of the scene.



Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:

michael burry

<ul><li>Michael Burry is a highly intelligent, analytical, and unconventional hedge fund manager who struggles with social interactions, partly due to his glass eye. He is introspective and sensitive, yearning for acceptance while being deeply focused on financial data and trends. His determination and foresight set him apart from his colleagues, as he challenges traditional beliefs in the financial world. Burry is passionate and unafraid to express his emotions, showing vulnerability and empathy, especially towards his family. His speaking style is direct, factual, and to the point, often reflecting his analytical mindset. He tends to overthink his words, which can lead to social awkwardness, but he speaks with confidence and conviction when discussing his investment strategies. He often uses phrases that highlight his inability to connect socially, such as, 'I don't know how to be sarcastic. I don't know how to be funny. I know how to read numbers.'</li><li>Direct, analytical, and assertive, with a focus on facts and data. His dialogue often reflects his no-nonsense approach to finance, and he communicates with a sense of urgency and conviction.</li></ul>



lawrence fields

<ul><li>Lawrence Fields is a seasoned professional in the financial industry, characterized by his conservative approach to investing. He is a supportive yet skeptical colleague who values Michael Burry's insights but is often at odds with Burry's unconventional strategies. Fields is portrayed as a successful figure with a keen eye for profitable opportunities, yet his reluctance to embrace change creates tension in his interactions with Burry. As a mentor figure, he embodies the traditional values of caution and stability, often questioning Burry's risky investment decisions and expressing concern about the potential fallout. His personality is marked by skepticism and caution, leading him to confront Burry about the risks involved in his strategies. Fields' speaking style is skeptical, authoritative, and slightly confrontational, reflecting his doubts and reservations about Burry's approach.</li><li>Skeptical, authoritative, and slightly confrontational. Fields' dialogue reflects his doubts and reservations about Burry's strategy.</li></ul>



mark baum

Mark Baum is a complex and multifaceted character, characterized by his moppish hair and rumpled suit, which reflect his intense and passionate nature. He is a financial analyst with a strong moral compass, deeply disillusioned by the rampant corruption in the financial world. Mark is sharp, critical, and emotionally charged, often grappling with personal loss and professional dissatisfaction. His speaking style is direct and confrontational, marked by a tendency to express his frustrations through impactful dialogue. He possesses a cynical and skeptical outlook, often questioning authority and the absurdities of the financial system. His sharp wit and sarcastic humor serve as both a defense mechanism and a tool for critique, as he navigates the complexities of the upper-middle-class world and the real estate market. Throughout the screenplay, Mark undergoes significant emotional transformations, moving from frustration to sadness, reflecting his inner turmoil and the weight of his moral dilemmas.



mark

<ul><li>Mark is a complex and multifaceted character who embodies skepticism, determination, and a strong sense of justice. He is deeply critical of the financial industry, driven by a desire to expose corruption and unethical practices. Throughout the screenplay, Mark evolves from a cynical and questioning individual to a more introspective and emotionally charged character, grappling with personal tragedies and moral dilemmas. His speaking style is sharp, direct, and confrontational, often laced with sarcasm and colorful language that reflects his frustrations with the system. As he navigates the unfolding financial crisis, Mark's intensity and conviction shine through, making him a compelling protagonist who is unafraid to challenge authority and push boundaries in pursuit of the truth.</li><li>Mark speaks with intensity and conviction, using sharp and direct language to articulate his points. His dialogue is often infused with humor and sarcasm, which he employs to lighten tense situations while still conveying his critical perspective. In moments of deep introspection, his speaking style becomes reflective and emotionally charged, revealing the internal conflicts he faces.</li></ul>



jared

Jared is a complex character who embodies confidence and cunning, often challenging the status quo within his department. He is portrayed as a truth-teller, unafraid to voice his concerns about impending disasters, which positions him as a rebellious figure. His speaking style is smooth and calculated, reflecting his manipulative nature and ability to control conversations. Jared's authority is underscored by a hint of menace, particularly when he leverages his knowledge of the dark market to gain an upper hand. Throughout the narrative, he provides critical commentary on societal issues, particularly the scapegoating of marginalized groups in the aftermath of the financial crisis, adding a satirical depth to his character. His ability to articulate complex ideas with clarity and conviction makes him a compelling presence in the screenplay.



vinny

<ul><li>Vinny is a pragmatic and cynical character who navigates the complexities of the financial world with sharp wit and a keen eye for opportunity. He is resourceful and adaptable, using his street smarts to outmaneuver competitors while maintaining a calm and collected demeanor. Vinny serves as a voice of caution and reason, often playing devil's advocate to his more impulsive colleague, Mark. His speaking style is casual and laid-back, masking his shrewd intelligence and strategic thinking. He employs humor and sarcasm to disarm others, reflecting his streetwise background and savvy approach to business. Vinny's ability to see through the facade of the financial industry sets him apart, as he is not easily swayed by appearances or promises. He is quick to act on his instincts, navigating the chaos of the financial collapse with a mix of panic and determination, ultimately urging his team to make crucial decisions in high-stakes situations.</li><li>Vinny speaks with a casual and laid-back demeanor, often using slang and colloquial language that reflects his streetwise background. His dialogue is sharp and insightful, cutting through the facade to reveal the truth. He uses humor and sarcasm to lighten tense situations and build rapport with others, making him a formidable negotiator.</li></ul>



danny

Danny is a pragmatic and curious team member who embodies a blend of optimism and resourcefulness. He is open to exploring new investment opportunities, intrigued by the potential for profit, and willing to consider Vennett's proposal despite his reservations. Danny's speaking style is direct and inquisitive, often infused with a touch of awkwardness that makes him relatable. He tries to lighten the mood with humor, providing comic relief in tense situations, though he sometimes faces resistance from more serious colleagues like Porter. His loyalty to his team is evident, as he often follows Mark's lead while also offering a grounding presence. As the story progresses, Danny becomes increasingly overwhelmed by the chaos of the financial collapse, showcasing his emotional and physical reactions to the high stakes involved. His empathy towards those affected by the financial deception drives him to uncover the truth, revealing a deeper layer to his character as he navigates the complexities of the situation.



porter

Porter is a complex character who evolves throughout the screenplay. Initially, he is a supportive team member who follows Mark's lead, demonstrating loyalty and trust in his judgment as they investigate the housing market bubble. However, as the story progresses, he becomes increasingly disillusioned and sarcastic, showcasing a dry sense of humor and a no-nonsense attitude towards the real estate seminar and the failed developments. His skepticism deepens, and he adopts a more observant and practical demeanor, questioning the situations they encounter and providing a grounded perspective. Porter's straightforward and logical speaking style reflects his analytical nature, as he expresses concern about the implications of mortgage delinquencies and the risks involved. He serves as a counterbalance to the more impulsive characters, often expressing reluctance to take risks or engage in confrontations. His perceptive nature allows him to notice the details and nuances of their surroundings, adding depth to the group dynamic and offering valuable insights into the unfolding situation.



jamie

Jamie Shipley is a complex character who embodies a blend of pragmatism, resourcefulness, and emotional depth. He is laid-back yet determined, using his savings to start a fund with Charlie, showcasing his willingness to take risks. Jamie is quick-witted and persuasive, often employing a fast-paced, sarcastic speaking style laced with humor, making him an entertaining protagonist. However, he also possesses a thoughtful and analytical side, balancing Charlie's impulsiveness with a more cautious approach. His communication is measured and deliberate, reflecting his logical mindset and concern for the consequences of their actions. As the financial crisis unfolds, Jamie becomes increasingly anxious and defiant, showing emotional investment in the situation while remaining focused on finding solutions. He is assertive and confident in his research and trading strategies, pushing for action with a sense of urgency. Despite his determination, Jamie also exhibits compassion and empathy, particularly as he reflects on the devastation caused by the crisis, revealing a somber and resigned side that highlights his loyalty and concern for others.



charlie

Charlie is a complex character who embodies a blend of analytical insight and impulsive enthusiasm. He is deeply analytical and insightful, often recognizing potential in unconventional investment strategies and hidden opportunities, which challenges the status quo. His Jewish heritage informs his cautious and pragmatic approach to risk-taking, as he seeks value in unconventional places. However, Charlie's personality is multifaceted; he oscillates between being enthusiastic and optimistic, eager to pursue opportunities, and being nervous and anxious, struggling with the uncertainties of the financial world. This duality adds depth to his character, as he often overthinks and worries about the consequences of his actions, revealing a vulnerable side. Charlie's wit and humor serve as coping mechanisms, allowing him to navigate serious situations with a casual yet insightful speaking style, often laced with sarcasm. He is ambitious and innovative, willing to take risks for potential rewards, but his naivete sometimes blinds him to the broader implications of his actions. As the financial crisis unfolds, Charlie becomes increasingly restless and tense, reacting quickly to news and displaying a sense of urgency. His passion for justice and uncovering the truth about banking fraud drives him to express his concerns with emotional intensity, often spiraling into panic when overwhelmed. Ultimately, Charlie's reflective nature emerges as he grapples with the aftermath of the Lehman Brothers' collapse, questioning his expectations and the harsh realities of the situation.



CharacterArcCritiqueSuggestions
michael burry
  • Michael Burry is introduced as a socially awkward yet brilliant hedge fund manager who is deeply invested in analyzing financial data. He feels isolated due to his unconventional methods and struggles to connect with others.
  • As the story progresses, Burry's determination to short the housing market showcases his boldness and willingness to challenge the status quo. He faces skepticism from peers and family, which adds to his internal conflict. His analytical mind drives him to uncover hidden risks, but his social struggles create tension in his personal life.
  • Burry's decision to take a significant financial risk culminates in a moment of triumph when his predictions about the housing market come true. However, this success is bittersweet as it strains his relationships, particularly with his family.
  • By the end of the feature, Burry learns to balance his professional ambitions with personal connections. He gains a deeper understanding of the importance of empathy and communication, ultimately finding a way to reconcile his analytical nature with his emotional needs.
While Michael Burry's character arc is compelling, it could benefit from more depth in his personal relationships. The screenplay primarily focuses on his professional journey, which may lead to a one-dimensional portrayal of his character. The emotional stakes could be heightened by exploring his family dynamics and the impact of his work on those relationships more thoroughly. To improve Michael Burry's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that showcase his interactions with family and friends, highlighting the emotional toll of his work on these relationships. Additionally, introducing a mentor or confidant who challenges his views on social interactions could provide opportunities for growth. This would create a more nuanced portrayal of his character, allowing audiences to connect with his struggles on a deeper level.
lawrence fields
  • Lawrence Fields starts as a skeptical and cautious figure, firmly rooted in traditional investment strategies and wary of Burry's unconventional methods.
  • As the story progresses, Fields faces increasing tension with Burry, leading to confrontations that challenge his beliefs about risk and investment. His skepticism is tested as he witnesses the unfolding of Burry's strategies and their impact on the market.
  • By the end of the feature, Fields undergoes a transformation where he begins to recognize the value in Burry's insights and the necessity of adapting to changing market conditions. He learns to balance his conservative instincts with a newfound openness to innovative strategies.
  • Lawrence emerges as a more adaptable and open-minded professional, having gained a deeper understanding of the complexities of the financial landscape and the importance of embracing change.
While Lawrence Fields serves as a strong foil to Michael Burry, his character arc could benefit from more depth and nuance. The initial skepticism and confrontational nature may come off as one-dimensional if not balanced with moments of vulnerability or personal stakes. Additionally, the transformation from skepticism to acceptance could be more gradual and compelling, allowing the audience to witness his internal struggle and growth. To improve Lawrence Fields' character arc, consider incorporating scenes that reveal his backstory, such as past experiences that shaped his conservative views. Adding moments of doubt or personal conflict can create empathy for his character. Furthermore, showcasing small victories or realizations throughout the screenplay can make his transformation feel more organic. Finally, a climactic moment where Fields must choose between his traditional values and the new insights he has gained could serve as a powerful turning point in his arc.
mark baum Mark Baum's character arc begins with him as a cynical and skeptical analyst, deeply entrenched in his disillusionment with the financial system. As he uncovers the layers of corruption and deceit within the industry, he becomes increasingly passionate about exposing the truth and protecting his investments. His journey is marked by personal struggles and ethical dilemmas, leading him to confront his own beliefs and values. By the climax of the screenplay, Mark experiences a profound emotional transformation, shifting from anger and frustration to a deeper sadness as he grapples with the consequences of the financial collapse. Ultimately, he emerges as a more reflective and aware individual, having recognized the limitations of his previous cynicism and the need for systemic change. While Mark Baum's character arc is compelling, it risks becoming somewhat predictable as he transitions from cynicism to a more reflective state. The emotional transformations, while impactful, may benefit from deeper exploration of his personal relationships and how they influence his journey. Additionally, the arc could be strengthened by incorporating moments of vulnerability that allow the audience to connect more intimately with his struggles and motivations. To improve Mark Baum's character arc, consider introducing more nuanced interactions with supporting characters that highlight his vulnerabilities and personal stakes. This could include flashbacks or conversations that reveal his past traumas and how they shape his worldview. Additionally, incorporating moments of doubt or failure could add depth to his journey, allowing for a more gradual and relatable transformation. Finally, exploring the consequences of his actions on those around him could enhance the emotional weight of his arc, making his eventual realization and growth feel more earned and impactful.
mark
  • Mark begins as a skeptical and cynical character, questioning the integrity of the financial system and the motives of those in power. He is focused on exposing corruption but is somewhat detached from the emotional consequences of his actions.
  • As the story progresses, Mark's determination to uncover the truth leads him to confront not only the financial industry but also his own moral dilemmas. He grapples with guilt and regret stemming from personal tragedies, which forces him to reflect on the impact of his pursuit of justice on his relationships and well-being.
  • In a pivotal moment, Mark faces a significant choice that tests his convictions and the extent to which he is willing to go to expose the truth. This moment of crisis challenges his beliefs and forces him to confront the consequences of his actions.
  • By the end of the screenplay, Mark emerges as a more nuanced character, having reconciled some of his internal conflicts. He retains his critical perspective but has developed a deeper understanding of the complexities of morality and justice in the financial world. His journey leads him to a place of greater empathy and responsibility, allowing him to balance his desire for truth with the emotional realities of those affected by the system.
Mark's character arc is compelling, showcasing a transformation from skepticism to a more profound understanding of morality and justice. However, the arc could benefit from clearer motivations and stakes that drive his internal conflict. While his journey is emotionally charged, there are moments where his motivations may feel inconsistent or underexplored, particularly regarding his personal tragedies and their impact on his actions. To improve Mark's character arc, consider deepening the exploration of his backstory and the personal tragedies that shape his worldview. Incorporating flashbacks or dialogue that reveals his past could enhance the audience's understanding of his motivations. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a contrasting character who challenges Mark's beliefs could create more dynamic interactions and highlight his growth. Finally, ensuring that the stakes of his choices are clearly defined will help to heighten the emotional impact of his journey.
jared Jared begins as a confident and rebellious figure, warning others about the impending disaster while feeling marginalized for his views. As the story progresses, he becomes increasingly manipulative, using his knowledge of the dark market to navigate the chaos around him. However, this manipulation leads to unintended consequences, forcing him to confront the ethical implications of his actions. By the climax, Jared experiences a moment of reckoning, realizing that his pursuit of control and authority has alienated him from those he initially sought to protect. In the resolution, he seeks redemption by using his voice to advocate for real reform and support marginalized communities, ultimately transforming from a self-serving manipulator to a genuine advocate for change. While Jared's character arc presents an interesting journey from rebellion to redemption, it risks becoming predictable if not handled with nuance. His initial confidence and rebellious nature may come off as one-dimensional if not balanced with moments of vulnerability or self-doubt. Additionally, the transition from manipulative to redemptive could benefit from more gradual development, allowing the audience to witness the internal struggle that leads to his change. To improve Jared's character arc, consider incorporating more layers to his personality early on. Introduce moments of vulnerability that reveal his motivations and fears, making him more relatable. Additionally, create a series of escalating consequences for his manipulative actions that force him to confront the impact of his choices on others. This could include relationships that suffer due to his deceit or a pivotal event that challenges his worldview. Finally, ensure that his redemption feels earned by showing a clear transformation process, perhaps through interactions with marginalized characters that highlight the importance of empathy and accountability.
vinny
  • Vinny starts as a skeptical team member, questioning the motives behind risky investments and serving as a voice of caution amidst the bold decisions made by Mark.
  • As the financial crisis escalates, Vinny's skepticism turns into urgency and frustration. He becomes increasingly panicked and desperate, reflecting the chaos around him. His initial caution evolves into a determined push for action, urging Mark to make critical decisions regarding their fund.
  • By the end of the feature, Vinny transforms from a cautious skeptic to a proactive player in the financial game, having learned to balance his skepticism with the need for decisive action. He emerges as a more confident and assertive character, willing to take calculated risks while still maintaining his pragmatic approach.
Vinny's character arc is compelling, showcasing a transformation from skepticism to proactive engagement. However, the transition could benefit from more gradual development. His initial skepticism is strong, but the shift to panic and urgency may feel abrupt without sufficient buildup. Additionally, while his pragmatic nature is well-established, there could be more exploration of his emotional responses to the crisis, which would add depth to his character. To improve Vinny's character arc, consider incorporating moments that highlight his internal struggle between caution and the need for action. This could involve flashbacks or conversations that reveal his past experiences with risk and failure, making his eventual transformation more relatable. Additionally, providing opportunities for Vinny to mentor or guide other characters could enhance his role as a leader, showcasing his growth and reinforcing his pragmatic nature. Finally, ensure that his emotional responses are woven throughout the narrative, allowing the audience to connect with his journey on a deeper level.
danny Danny's character arc begins with him as a curious and optimistic team member, eager to explore new opportunities and lighten the mood. As the story unfolds, he faces increasing challenges and the harsh realities of the financial collapse, which tests his resourcefulness and loyalty. Initially driven by a desire for profit, Danny's journey leads him to a deeper understanding of the consequences of financial deception, transforming him from a somewhat naive character into a more grounded and empathetic individual. By the end of the feature, Danny emerges as a more resilient and insightful person, having learned the importance of integrity and the impact of their actions on others. While Danny's character arc shows potential for growth, it may benefit from more defined turning points that highlight his transformation. The initial curiosity and optimism could be contrasted more sharply with the challenges he faces, allowing for a clearer depiction of his internal struggle. Additionally, his comic relief role, while providing levity, could risk undermining the gravity of the situation if not balanced carefully. The emotional weight of the financial collapse should resonate more deeply with him, leading to a more profound change in his perspective. To improve Danny's character arc, consider incorporating specific moments that challenge his optimism and force him to confront the harsh realities of the financial world. For instance, a pivotal scene where he witnesses the direct impact of the financial collapse on individuals could serve as a catalyst for his transformation. Additionally, allowing Danny to take a more active role in decision-making, rather than primarily following Mark, could showcase his growth and emerging leadership qualities. Finally, integrating moments of vulnerability where he expresses doubt or fear could deepen his relatability and enhance the emotional stakes of his journey.
porter Porter's character arc begins with him as a loyal and supportive team member, willing to follow Mark's lead in investigating the housing market. As the narrative unfolds, he becomes increasingly skeptical and disillusioned, grappling with the harsh realities of the real estate industry. His journey leads him to confront his fears and uncertainties, ultimately transforming him into a more assertive and proactive character. By the end of the screenplay, Porter learns to balance his skepticism with a willingness to take calculated risks, becoming a more integral part of the team's decision-making process and contributing to their success. While Porter's character arc is compelling, it risks becoming too predictable as he transitions from a supportive role to a more assertive one. His initial loyalty and skepticism are well-defined, but the shift to a more proactive character could benefit from additional layers of conflict and internal struggle. The screenplay may not fully explore the reasons behind his skepticism or the personal stakes involved, which could make his transformation feel less impactful. To improve Porter's character arc, consider incorporating more backstory that explains his skepticism and reluctance to take risks. This could involve personal experiences that shaped his views on the housing market or past failures that make him cautious. Additionally, introduce moments of conflict where Porter must confront his fears directly, perhaps through a pivotal decision that tests his loyalty to the team versus his instincts. This would create a more dynamic and engaging arc, allowing the audience to connect with his journey on a deeper level.
jamie Throughout the screenplay, Jamie's character arc evolves from a laid-back opportunist to a more responsible and empathetic individual. Initially, he is driven by the desire to profit from the chaos of the financial crisis, showcasing his quick wit and resourcefulness. As the story progresses, Jamie faces the harsh realities of the consequences of their actions, leading him to become more cautious and thoughtful. He learns to balance his ambition with a sense of responsibility, ultimately transforming into a supportive figure who prioritizes the well-being of his colleagues and the broader implications of their decisions. By the end of the feature, Jamie emerges as a more grounded and compassionate character, reflecting on the impact of the crisis and advocating for ethical practices in the financial world. While Jamie's character arc is compelling, it could benefit from deeper emotional exploration and conflict. His transformation from opportunism to responsibility feels somewhat abrupt and could be enhanced by showcasing more internal struggles and external challenges that force him to confront his values. Additionally, the balance between his humorous, laid-back persona and the serious consequences of the financial crisis could be more nuanced, allowing for moments of vulnerability that would make his eventual growth more impactful. To improve Jamie's character arc, consider incorporating specific events that challenge his initial motivations and force him to confront the ethical implications of his actions. This could include a pivotal moment where he must choose between personal gain and the welfare of others, leading to a more gradual and believable transformation. Additionally, adding scenes that highlight his relationships with colleagues and the emotional toll of the crisis could deepen his character development. Finally, allowing Jamie to experience setbacks or failures along the way would create a more dynamic arc, showcasing his resilience and growth in a more relatable manner.
charlie Charlie begins as an enthusiastic and impulsive character, eager to explore unconventional investment opportunities. As the financial crisis unfolds, he experiences a significant transformation, moving from a state of naivete and impulsiveness to one of reflection and concern. Initially driven by excitement and a desire for quick rewards, he becomes increasingly aware of the moral implications of the financial world and the consequences of his actions. By the end of the screenplay, Charlie evolves into a more grounded individual, balancing his enthusiasm with a deeper understanding of the complexities of the financial landscape and a commitment to seeking justice. This journey culminates in a moment of clarity where he recognizes the importance of thoughtful decision-making and the impact of his choices on others. While Charlie's character arc is compelling, it may benefit from a clearer progression and more defined turning points. The transitions between his various emotional states can feel abrupt, and the screenplay could better illustrate the catalysts for his growth. Additionally, the balance between his impulsive nature and analytical insights could be more pronounced, allowing for a more nuanced exploration of his internal conflicts. The emotional stakes could be heightened by providing more context for his motivations and the consequences of his actions, making his journey more relatable and impactful. To improve Charlie's character arc, consider incorporating specific events or interactions that serve as pivotal moments in his transformation. For example, a confrontation with a mentor or a personal loss could catalyze his shift from impulsiveness to reflection. Additionally, weaving in more moments of self-doubt or moral conflict could enhance the depth of his character. Establishing a clearer contrast between his initial naivete and his eventual understanding of the financial world would create a more satisfying arc. Finally, integrating supporting characters who challenge or mirror Charlie's journey could provide additional layers to his development and reinforce the themes of the screenplay.
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Pattern Explanation
High Overall Grade Correlation with Dialogue and Emotional ImpactScenes with higher overall grades (9 or 10) tend to have stronger dialogue (scores above 8) and higher emotional impact (scores above 7). This suggests that focusing on impactful dialogue and emotional resonance significantly contributes to the overall quality of the scenes. Conversely, scenes with lower scores in these two areas tend to have lower overall scores, even if other elements like concept or plot are strong. Consider revising scenes 2, 3, 18, 20, 23, and 33 to strengthen dialogue and emotional impact.
Tone Clusters and their Impact on Character ChangeThere are noticeable clusters of similar tones. Scenes with 'Intense', 'Confrontational', and 'Suspenseful' tones frequently feature high character development scores (above 8). This suggests that high-stakes conflicts and intense emotional moments drive significant character arcs. Conversely, scenes utilizing more 'Humorous,' 'Sarcastic,' or 'Light-hearted' tones often have lower character change scores. While these tones are valuable, consider ways to integrate them strategically to allow for more subtle character shifts within the context of intense scenes to avoid creating tonal inconsistencies.
Conflict and High Stakes Drive Emotional ImpactA strong correlation exists between high scores in 'Conflict' and 'High Stakes' and high scores in 'Emotional Impact'. Scenes with higher 'Conflict' and 'High Stakes' usually exhibit a greater emotional impact. This is a positive trend; however, maintaining this while diversifying the methods of creating conflict and stakes might enhance the overall narrative impact and avoid repetitiveness.
Concept and Plot Strength: A Consistent ElementThe screenplay consistently receives high scores for 'Concept' and 'Plot' across almost all scenes (mostly 8 or 9). This indicates a strong underlying narrative structure. Maintaining this level of conceptual and plot strength is a significant strength, and further enhancement in other areas, as suggested above, could elevate the screenplay further.
Scene 18 - An outlier requiring attentionScene 18 ('Nervous', 'Awkward', 'Light-hearted') is a significant outlier with considerably lower scores across multiple categories. While tonal shifts are crucial, this scene's lower performance may indicate a pacing issue, a need for stronger emotional impact, or a potential disconnect from the overall narrative flow. Re-evaluating its purpose and impact within the larger story arc is crucial.
Late Act IntensificationThere's a notable increase in 'Intense,' 'Confrontational,' and 'Suspenseful' tones and high stakes in the latter half of the screenplay. This suggests a well-structured climax, however, ensure that this escalation is appropriately foreshadowed and that the pacing feels organic and not forced. Consider adding smaller hints of this intensity and suspense earlier to give the audience a sense of impending doom.
Dialogue and Tone: A Refinement OpportunityWhile 'Dialogue' scores are generally good, they could be further improved in conjunction with tone. Consider how the dialogue reflects and enhances the tone of each scene. Scenes with lower dialogue scores are often also scenes with less intense and more reflective tones. Exploring opportunities to make dialogue more impactful in these scenes could improve the overall flow and audience engagement.


Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

The screenplay demonstrates a strong foundation in creating tension, conflict, and engaging dialogue, particularly within a financial setting. The writer effectively uses sharp dialogue to convey complex themes and character motivations. However, there's a recurring need for deeper character development and exploration of moral dilemmas beyond the surface level. The consistent recommendation of 'The Big Short' screenplay suggests a stylistic affinity for blending humor, drama, and complex financial concepts, which should be further cultivated.

Key Improvement Areas

Character Development
While the dialogue is strong, many analyses mention the need for deeper exploration of character motivations, internal conflicts, and emotional depth. The suggestions to study character development techniques and write scenes with conflicting motivations point to this as a key area for improvement.
Dialogue Enhancement
Although the dialogue is praised for being sharp and engaging, there are several suggestions to practice writing dialogue-heavy scenes with multiple characters, conflicting viewpoints, and escalating conflict. This indicates a need to refine dialogue to create more nuanced interactions and drive the narrative more effectively.
Moral and Thematic Depth
Many analyses highlight the presence of moral dilemmas and ethical complexities, but suggest exploring these themes with greater depth. The writer has a knack for setting the stage for these conflicts, but needs to further develop them within the narrative.

Suggestions

Type Suggestion Rationale
Screenplay 'The Big Short' (Charles Randolph & Adam McKay) Repeatedly recommended, this screenplay excels at blending complex financial concepts with engaging characters and compelling narratives, directly addressing the writer's strengths and areas for improvement in balancing technical details with character-driven storytelling.
Screenplay 'Glengarry Glen Ross' (David Mamet) Provides a masterclass in sharp, dialogue-driven scenes and intense character interactions in a high-stakes corporate setting, addressing the need for improved dialogue and exploration of moral ambiguity.
Screenplay 'Margin Call' (J.C. Chandor) Offers a nuanced perspective on financial thrillers and the ethical dilemmas faced by characters within the financial industry, complementing the writer's existing style and providing alternative approaches to structure and character development.
Book 'Save the Cat!' (Blake Snyder) Provides practical guidance on screenplay structure and character development, assisting the writer in enhancing scene structure, narrative pacing, and character arcs to improve the overall impact and engagement of their scenes.
Book 'The Art of Dramatic Writing' (Lajos Egri) A classic text on character development and conflict, it will assist in deepening emotional depth and creating more authentic and compelling character arcs.
Book 'Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting' (Syd Field) Provides a solid foundation in screenplay structure and techniques, addressing potential weaknesses in overall narrative construction and character development.
Video Interviews with Adam McKay (on his writing process) Provides valuable insights into the creative choices and techniques used by a successful screenwriter known for his work in blending humor, drama, and complex themes in a financial setting.
Video Watch 'Margin Call' Offers a visual study of a film that effectively explores similar themes and scenarios, providing valuable insights into the visual storytelling techniques used to create tension and suspense in financial thrillers.
Video Interviews with real-life financial analysts and traders Enhances authenticity in depicting financial characters and conflicts by providing real-world context and understanding of the industry’s dynamics.
Stories Similar to this one

Story Explanation
The Big Short This film shares a similar narrative structure and thematic focus on the 2008 financial crisis, exploring the complexities of mortgage-backed securities and the characters who foresaw the impending collapse. It features a mix of humor and drama, using voiceovers and direct addresses to the audience to explain financial concepts.
Margin Call Set during the early stages of the financial crisis, this film follows key players at an investment bank as they discover the extent of their firm's exposure to toxic assets. It captures the tension and moral dilemmas faced by financial professionals, similar to the ethical conflicts presented in the screenplay.
Too Big to Fail This HBO film dramatizes the events surrounding the 2008 financial crisis, focusing on the decisions made by key financial leaders and government officials. It parallels the screenplay's exploration of the banking industry's recklessness and the systemic failures that led to the crisis.
Inside Job This documentary provides a comprehensive analysis of the 2008 financial crisis, detailing the systemic corruption in the financial services industry. It shares the screenplay's critical perspective on the banking sector and the lack of accountability among financial institutions.
Wall Street This classic film explores the world of high finance and the moral ambiguities of Wall Street. It features characters who embody the greed and ambition prevalent in the financial industry, similar to the bond traders depicted in the screenplay.
Billions This television series delves into the high-stakes world of hedge funds and the ethical dilemmas faced by its characters. It shares thematic elements with the screenplay, including the pursuit of profit at the expense of moral integrity and the complexities of financial instruments.
The Wolf of Wall Street This film portrays the excesses and moral decay of Wall Street traders during the 1990s. It shares a similar tone of dark humor and critiques the reckless behavior of financial professionals, akin to the bond traders in the screenplay.
Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room This documentary examines the rise and fall of Enron, highlighting the corporate greed and unethical practices that led to its collapse. It resonates with the screenplay's critique of the financial industry's lack of accountability and foresight.
The Smartest Guys in the Room This book provides an in-depth look at the Enron scandal, focusing on the characters involved and the systemic issues within corporate America. It parallels the screenplay's exploration of the financial industry's failures and the personal stories of those caught in the crisis.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope Trope Details Trope Explanation
The Rise and FallThe screenplay chronicles the rise of mortgage-backed securities and the subsequent fall of the financial system, culminating in the 2008 financial crisis.This trope involves a character or entity experiencing a significant rise to power or success, followed by a dramatic fall. An example is the story of Gordon Gekko in 'Wall Street', where his rise in the financial world leads to his eventual downfall due to greed and unethical practices.
The Anti-HeroCharacters like Michael Burry and Mark Baum operate outside traditional moral boundaries, driven by their own agendas in the financial world.An anti-hero is a central character who lacks conventional heroic attributes. An example is Walter White from 'Breaking Bad', who turns to crime for personal reasons, blurring the lines between right and wrong.
The Voice of ReasonCharacters like Michael Burry often serve as the voice of reason, warning others about the impending financial collapse.This trope features a character who provides logical insights that others ignore, often leading to disaster. An example is Dr. Ian Malcolm in 'Jurassic Park', who warns about the dangers of playing God with nature.
The Big ShortThe characters engage in short selling, betting against the housing market, which is a central theme of the screenplay.This trope involves characters making risky financial bets against a failing system. An example is the film 'The Big Short', which directly addresses the financial crisis and the strategies used by investors to profit from it.
The Unlikely GeniusMichael Burry, with his unique perspective and obsessive nature, uncovers the flaws in the mortgage market.This trope features a character who possesses extraordinary intelligence or insight, often in unexpected ways. An example is Will Hunting in 'Good Will Hunting', who uses his mathematical genius to solve complex problems.
The Corrupt SystemThe screenplay critiques the financial system, highlighting corruption and unethical practices within banks and rating agencies.This trope involves a system that is fundamentally flawed or corrupt, often leading to negative consequences for society. An example is 'The Wire', which explores systemic corruption in law enforcement and politics.
The ForeshadowingThe screenplay uses voiceovers and visuals to foreshadow the impending financial crisis.Foreshadowing involves hints or clues about future events in a story. An example is in 'Romeo and Juliet', where early references to fate hint at the tragic ending.
The Ensemble CastThe screenplay features multiple characters, each with their own perspectives on the financial crisis.An ensemble cast includes a diverse group of characters, each contributing to the story. An example is 'Love Actually', where various interconnected stories unfold simultaneously.
The Ironic TwistThe screenplay ends with a critique of the financial system, highlighting the irony of the situation.An ironic twist involves an unexpected outcome that contrasts with what was anticipated. An example is 'Fight Club', where the protagonist's journey leads to a shocking revelation about his identity.


Theme Theme Details Themee Explanation
Moral Corruption and Systemic Failure in FinanceThe film depicts the creation and proliferation of complex financial instruments like mortgage-backed securities and CDOs, highlighting the reckless lending practices, fraudulent activities, and regulatory failures that fueled the housing bubble and its subsequent collapse.This theme explores the ethical dilemmas faced by individuals within the financial industry who prioritize profit over responsibility, leading to widespread damage and suffering. It questions the integrity of the system and those who benefit from its flaws.
Strengthening Moral Corruption and Systemic Failure in Finance:
Suggestion Type How to Strengthen the Theme
Dialogue - Scene 1 Add subtle dialogue to Ranieri's presentation foreshadowing the inherent risks of MBS. Instead of solely emphasizing high yield and minimized risk, have him mention potential downsides in a dismissive or overly confident manner, highlighting his own disregard for the long-term consequences. This creates an early indication of the moral corruption at the heart of the system.
Visual & Story Arc - Scene 2 Enhance the time-lapse sequence of the Manhattan skyline to visually represent the unchecked growth of the financial sector, contrasting the opulent new buildings with scenes of everyday Americans struggling economically, even before the 2008 crisis. This visually reinforces systemic failure.
Character Arc - Scene 3 Develop Burry's childhood trauma further. His experience of isolation and ridicule due to his glass eye can be directly paralleled to his later feeling of being an outsider who sees the truth about a corrupt system while others remain oblivious. Show him struggling to connect, mirroring the broken connection between the financial sector and the needs of the real economy.
Action & Dialogue - Scene 14 Show Mark’s team’s initial hesitation and unease regarding Jared Vennett more explicitly, highlighting their ethical concerns. Include dialogue expressing their skepticism about Vennett's motives and the moral implications of profiting from others' misfortune. This will add layers to the theme of moral corruption, as they engage with it even while pursuing profit.
Visual & Story Arc - Scene 58 Expand the montage at the end to powerfully showcase the human cost of the financial crisis. Include scenes illustrating the widespread suffering caused by job losses, foreclosures, and economic hardship, directly contrasting the wealth accumulated by some with the devastation faced by many others. This reinforces the theme of systemic failure's impact on ordinary lives.
The Human Cost of Greed and RecklessnessThe film portrays the devastating consequences of the financial crisis on ordinary individuals and families, including foreclosures, job losses, and emotional distress. It juxtaposes the opulent lifestyles of Wall Street professionals with the suffering of those who bear the brunt of the crisis.This theme explores the human consequences of financial decisions made without consideration for the wider societal impact. It highlights the suffering of those who lost their homes, jobs, and financial security due to the actions of others.
The Power of Individual Insight and ConscienceThe film features characters who recognize the flaws in the financial system and attempt to profit from them, such as Michael Burry and Mark Baum. Their stories are intertwined with moments of moral conflict, where personal gain clashes with ethical considerations.This theme shows how some individuals, despite the pervasive corruption, can perceive the truth and act upon it. It explores the complexities of moral choices within a corrupt system.
The Failure of Regulation and OversightThe film critiques the regulatory bodies and rating agencies that failed to adequately oversee the financial industry, allowing the housing bubble to inflate and the crisis to unfold.This theme highlights the lack of effective oversight and the collusion between financial institutions and regulatory bodies, which contributed significantly to the crisis.



Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site Description
Studio Binder Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts
Voice Analysis
Summary: The writer's voice is characterized by a sharp, witty, and often cynical tone, blending dark humor with serious subject matter. The narrative is fast-paced and engaging, utilizing vivid imagery and detailed descriptions, particularly regarding the financial world. Dialogue is realistic yet insightful, conveying complex financial concepts in an accessible manner while revealing the characters' personalities and internal conflicts. The directorial choices suggest a dynamic and intense style, incorporating elements like freeze-frames and quick cuts to enhance the tension and urgency.
Voice Contribution The writer's voice contributes to the script by creating a compelling and engaging narrative that is both intellectually stimulating and emotionally resonant. The blend of humor and seriousness allows the audience to connect with the characters while grappling with the complex themes of greed, deception, and the consequences of unchecked capitalism. The fast-paced narrative and sharp dialogue maintain audience engagement throughout the high-stakes financial world depicted in the screenplay, generating both suspense and insightful commentary on the industry's culture and ethical dilemmas. The vivid descriptions enhance the immersive quality of the narrative, transporting the audience to the various settings and emphasizing the atmosphere of each scene.
Best Representation Scene 16 - From Fish to Financial Collapse
Best Scene Explanation This scene is the best representation because it most effectively encapsulates the writer's unique blend of dark humor, sharp dialogue, and vivid imagery. The analogy of the seafood stew to the manipulation of CDOs is both clever and darkly funny, highlighting the absurdity of the financial situation. The use of the Jenga game to visually represent the instability of the CDOs enhances the dramatic tension and foreshadows the impending crisis. The scene masterfully balances lightheartedness with a sense of impending doom, mirroring the writer's overall stylistic approach.
Originality
  • Overall originality score: 8.5
  • Overall originality explanation: The screenplay presents a fresh and innovative take on the financial crisis, utilizing unique character dynamics, authentic dialogue, and a blend of humor and drama to explore complex financial concepts. The incorporation of real-life events and figures, along with creative metaphors (such as the culinary analogies by Anthony Bourdain), adds depth and originality to the narrative. The screenplay effectively captures the moral dilemmas faced by characters in the financial industry, making it stand out in the genre.
  • Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the screenplay are the juxtaposition of high-stakes financial discussions with everyday settings, such as a pub in England where Ben attempts to sell securities, and the use of a blackjack table to explain synthetic CDOs through a gambling metaphor. Additionally, the emotional exploration of characters dealing with personal loss and ethical conflicts amidst the financial chaos adds a layer of originality.
  • Overall unpredictability score: 7.5
  • Overall unpredictability explanation: The screenplay maintains a level of unpredictability through its character arcs and the unfolding financial crisis. While the audience may anticipate certain outcomes based on historical events, the personal struggles and moral dilemmas faced by the characters create unexpected emotional turns. The decisions made by characters, such as Mark's eventual choice to sell the fund despite his moral reservations, contribute to the unpredictability of the narrative, keeping viewers engaged and invested in the outcomes.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal GoalsThroughout the script, the protagonist grapples with a complex web of internal goals that transition from seeking personal validation and success in the financial industry to confronting ethical dilemmas surrounding the exploitation inherent in those same industries. This evolution reflects a deepening awareness of the repercussions of his actions on society and his relationships, particularly regarding his family's acceptance and his complications as a father.
External Goals The protagonist's external goals evolve from simply navigating the high-stakes world of finance towards actively working to profit from the impending financial collapse through strategic investments and shorts. This trajectory showcases his progression from a player in the system to someone who seeks to challenge and expose its underlying corruptions.
Philosophical Conflict The overarching philosophical conflict intertwines the pursuit of capitalist success against the moral implications of one's choices in a corrupt financial market: Ethical Accountability vs. Unchecked Ambition. This conflict highlights the struggle to reconcile personal gain with societal impact.


Character Development Contribution: The internal and external goals contribute significantly to the protagonist's development by presenting a clear trajectory of moral awakening, highlighting the transformation from a self-serving trader to a more ethically aware individual who grapples with personal and societal responsibilities.

Narrative Structure Contribution: The structured portrayal of the protagonist's evolving goals drives the plot forward, weaving through escalating tensions and crises that mirror the broader economic collapse while revealing the individual’s stakes in the turbulent financial landscape.

Thematic Depth Contribution: These conflicts and goals deepen the thematic fabric of the screenplay, emphasizing the consequences of greed, the moral obligations of those in power, and the emotional toll of the systemic failures on both personal and societal levels.


Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site Description
Creative Screenwriting How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?
World Building
  • Physical environment: The screenplay spans various locations across different time periods, primarily focusing on New York City's financial district and its surrounding areas, including upscale restaurants, strip clubs, suburban homes, offices (ranging from lavish to Spartan), a middle school football field, a pediatric psych center, an English pub, a casino in Las Vegas, and even a shooting range. The depiction shifts from the relatively laid-back atmosphere of the 1970s trading floor to the frantic, high-pressure environment of the 2007-2008 financial crisis. Locations also extend to Miami, Boulder, Colorado, and even an English pub, showcasing diverse physical settings that reflect the characters' geographical movements and social circles.
  • Culture: The screenplay captures the cultural shifts from the relaxed, somewhat unprofessional culture of the 1970s bond trading floor to the high-stakes, high-pressure culture of Wall Street in the 2000s. Excess and risk-taking are prominent themes, particularly in the early scenes. However, the culture evolves to show a growing awareness of ethical dilemmas and the consequences of unchecked greed. There are also cultural elements present in the specific locations (e.g., the culinary world in Anthony Bourdain's kitchen, the heavy metal music in Michael Burry's basement, the diverse cultural mix of Manhattan streets).
  • Society: The societal structure is hierarchical, especially within the financial industry. There's a clear distinction between the wealthy elite, the middle class struggling with financial difficulties (e.g., homeowners facing foreclosure), and the working class. Power dynamics are central to many interactions, notably between high-level investors and their analysts, bankers and their clients, and even within the various teams of traders. The screenplay also highlights the societal impact of the financial crisis on various groups, showing the broader consequences of Wall Street's actions.
  • Technology: Technological advancements play a significant role, evolving from the rudimentary overhead projector in the 1970s to the sophisticated computer systems and Bloomberg terminals used for complex financial analysis and trading in later scenes. The use of cell phones, email, and financial news channels underscores the fast-paced, information-driven nature of the financial world. However, the screenplay also subtly contrasts this advanced technology with outdated practices and lack of transparency, which eventually lead to the crisis.
  • Characters influence: The physical environment and societal structures directly influence the characters' experiences and actions. For instance, the high-pressure environment of Wall Street fuels the characters' ambition, risk-taking, and often, their moral compromises. The cultural emphasis on wealth and success shapes their motivations and decisions. The technological tools they use (or lack thereof) impact their ability to navigate the financial markets and influence their interactions with others.
  • Narrative contribution: The diverse settings and shifting timelines contribute to a multi-faceted narrative. The screenplay utilizes flashbacks and time-lapses to connect the events of the 1970s to the 2008 financial crisis, effectively illustrating the causal relationship between the origins of mortgage-backed securities and the eventual collapse. The physical locations enhance the storytelling by providing context, atmosphere, and creating a sense of place that aids the viewer's understanding of the characters' situations.
  • Thematic depth contribution: The world-building elements significantly enhance the thematic depth of the screenplay. The contrast between the exuberant celebration of wealth and the devastating consequences of the crisis underlines the theme of greed and its societal implications. The exploration of different societal strata adds layers of complexity, highlighting the unequal impact of the financial crisis. The cultural shifts throughout the timeline serve to contextualize the human cost of the financial crisis, showcasing the moral compromises individuals make, and the human toll taken on those affected.
Story Engine Analysis

central conflict

The central conflict revolves around the impending financial crisis driven by the unethical practices in the banking industry, as characters like Michael Burry and Mark Baum attempt to expose and profit from the collapse of the housing market.

primary motivations

  • Michael Burry's desire to protect investors and capitalize on the housing market's vulnerabilities.
  • Mark Baum's quest for truth and accountability in the financial system, driven by personal loss and moral outrage.
  • Jared Vennett's ambition to profit from the crisis while navigating the complexities of Wall Street.

catalysts

  • Lewis Ranieri's introduction of mortgage-backed securities, which transforms the banking landscape.
  • The rise in mortgage fraud rates and the subsequent realization of the housing bubble.
  • The Lehman Brothers bankruptcy, which serves as a pivotal moment that escalates the financial crisis.

barriers

  • Widespread skepticism and denial among financial institutions regarding the risks associated with mortgage-backed securities.
  • The reluctance of investors to accept the reality of the impending collapse.
  • Internal conflicts among characters regarding ethical considerations and financial strategies.

themes

  • Greed and corruption within the financial industry.
  • The consequences of systemic failures and lack of accountability.
  • The personal impact of financial crises on individuals and families.

stakes

The stakes include the financial security of millions of individuals, the survival of major financial institutions, and the moral integrity of the banking system.

uniqueness factor

The story uniquely combines real historical events with character-driven narratives, using humor and unconventional storytelling techniques to explore complex financial concepts.

audience hook

The main audience hook lies in the dramatic tension of watching characters navigate a morally ambiguous landscape while attempting to profit from a crisis that will have devastating consequences for society.

paradoxical engine or bisociation

The paradoxical engine is the juxtaposition of characters seeking to profit from a failing system while simultaneously grappling with the ethical implications of their actions, creating a tension between personal gain and societal responsibility.

paradoxical engine or bisociation 2

Another bisociation could be the contrast between the perceived stability of the housing market and the underlying fragility of the financial instruments, highlighting the disconnect between Wall Street's optimism and the reality of economic collapse.


Engine: Gemini

Screenplay Rating:

Highly Recommend

Executive Summary

The Big Short screenplay is a highly effective blend of comedic and dramatic storytelling that successfully translates a complex financial crisis into an engaging and accessible narrative. The script's strengths lie in its clever use of narrative devices, memorable characters, and insightful exploration of greed and human fallibility. While some areas could benefit from minor tightening, the overall quality, originality, and compelling narrative make it a highly recommendable project.

Strengths
  • The screenplay brilliantly employs non-traditional narrative devices like celebrity explanations to break down complex financial concepts and maintain audience engagement. These segments enhance the film's accessibility and unique voice. high ( Scene 7 (16)   Scene 16 (40)   Scene 19 (43)   Scene 43 (109)   )
  • Character development is deeply considered, with each character's quirks and motivations driving the narrative forward. Their journeys are compelling, reflecting various responses to the crisis, and enhancing thematic resonance. high ( Scene 12 (12)   Scene 11 (27)   Scene 28 (28)   Scene 13 (33)   )
  • The screenplay's use of voiceover narration is both effective and entertaining. It adds context, clarifies complex financial issues, and contributes to the film's wry humor and overall tone. medium ( Scene 1 (1)   Scene 2 (3)   Scene 57 (157)   )
  • The dialogue is sharp, witty, and often darkly humorous. It successfully conveys the characters' personalities and attitudes towards the crisis, further enriching the story. medium ( Scene 29 (70)   Scene 35 (100)   Scene 44 (110)   )
  • The screenplay effectively interweaves multiple storylines, providing a multifaceted perspective on the financial crisis and building suspense as the various characters' paths converge. high
Areas of Improvement
  • In a few instances, the screenplay could benefit from a slightly faster pace. Certain scenes with extended character introspection or repetitive dialogue could be shortened or restructured to maintain momentum. low ( Scene 13 (13)   Scene 32 (84)   )
  • Some secondary characters could use more development. While their interactions contribute to the narrative, more background or personal details could add depth and further engage the audience. low
MissingElements
  • While the screenplay effectively portrays the motivations of the key players in the financial crisis, a more detailed exploration of the regulatory failures and political factors that contributed to the crisis might enhance the film's scope and impact. medium
NotablePoints
  • The screenplay's use of irony and satire is particularly effective. It successfully highlights the absurdity of the situation and the moral failings of those involved, adding layers of complexity to the narrative. high
  • The screenplay achieves a remarkable balance between educating the audience about complex financial concepts and engaging them emotionally through the characters' struggles and triumphs. It manages to be both intellectually stimulating and deeply human. high
Blind Spots
  • Oversimplification of complex financial mechanisms While the screenplay uses clever devices to explain complex financial instruments, some nuances and interconnectedness of the financial instruments might be lost to the casual viewer. For example, while CDOs and MBSs are explained, the intricacies of their creation and the role of various financial institutions are simplified for narrative flow. medium

Engine: Claude

Screenplay Rating:

Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay for "The Big Short" is a well-crafted and compelling examination of the 2008 financial crisis. It follows the stories of several characters, including Michael Burry, Mark Baum, and the Brownfield Fund team, as they navigate the complex and often deceptive world of mortgage-backed securities and collateralized debt obligations. The screenplay skillfully weaves together these narratives, offering a comprehensive and insightful exploration of the events leading up to the crisis and its aftermath. The writing style is engaging, with a strong narrative voice and effective use of humor and pop culture references to help the audience understand the complex financial concepts. Overall, the screenplay is a thought-provoking and entertaining work that would be of interest to a wide audience.

Strengths
  • The use of Anthony Bourdain and Selena Gomez to explain complex financial concepts, such as collateralized debt obligations (CDOs), is a highly effective and engaging way to make these topics accessible to a general audience. high ( Scene 16   )
  • The screenplay effectively contrasts the perspectives of the various characters, with the bullish investor Bruce Miller serving as a foil to Mark Baum's skepticism. This creates a compelling debate that highlights the deeper issues at play. high ( Scene 43 (109)   Scene 42 (108)   )
  • The emotional arc of Mark Baum's character, particularly his reflection on his brother's suicide and his struggle with the moral implications of profiting from the crisis, adds depth and nuance to the narrative. high ( Scene 45   )
  • The opening sequence effectively establishes the historical context and introduces the core concept of mortgage-backed securities, setting the stage for the rest of the screenplay. medium ( Scene 1 (1)   )
  • The introduction of the Brownfield Fund team, particularly the dynamic between Charlie, Jamie, and Ben Rickert, provides an engaging secondary narrative that complements the main storylines. medium ( Scene 28 (79)   )
Areas of Improvement
  • The transition between the storylines of Michael Burry and the other characters could be smoother, as the screenplay sometimes feels disjointed when shifting between these narratives. medium ( Scene 22 (63)   )
  • The subplot involving Michael Burry's son's diagnosis with Asperger's Syndrome, while an interesting character detail, could be further developed to have a stronger thematic connection to the overall narrative. medium ( Scene 46 (114)   )
  • The transition between the Selena Gomez/Richard Thaler explainer scene and the return to the main storyline could be smoother, as it sometimes feels like a disruptive interruption. low ( Scene 37 (97)   )
MissingElements
  • While the screenplay does explore the broader societal impact of the financial crisis, it could benefit from more explicit commentary or scenes that directly address the human cost and suffering experienced by everyday people. medium ( Scene 58 (149)   )
  • The screenplay could delve deeper into the moral and ethical dilemmas faced by the characters, particularly Mark Baum, as they grapple with the consequences of their actions and the role they played in the crisis. medium ( Scene 59 (157)   )
NotablePoints
  • The ambiguous ending, where Mark Baum struggles with the decision to sell his positions and profit from the crisis, provides a thought-provoking and nuanced conclusion that leaves the audience to ponder the moral implications. high ( Scene 60 (160)   )
  • The scene where Mark Baum confronts the CDO manager, Mr. Chau, is a standout moment that effectively captures the underlying issues and tensions at the heart of the financial crisis. high ( Scene 43 (109)   )
  • The time-lapse sequence depicting the rapid growth of the banking industry leading up to the crisis is a visually striking and impactful way to convey the scale and pace of the events. medium ( Scene 2 (4)   )
Blind Spots
  • Lack of diversity The screenplay's main characters are predominantly white men, with limited representation of other demographics. While the supporting cast includes some characters of color and women, the primary protagonists and decision-makers are mostly middle-aged, white males. This lack of diversity in the central characters may limit the screenplay's appeal to a broader, more diverse audience. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Overuse of Voiceover The screenplay relies heavily on voiceover narration, particularly from the character of Jared Vennett, to provide exposition and context. While the voiceover is generally well-executed and serves an important purpose, an overreliance on this technique can come across as a crutch and may feel like an amateur writing choice. medium

Engine: GPT4

Screenplay Rating:

Highly Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay for 'The Big Short' effectively captures the complexity and chaos of the 2008 financial crisis through a blend of sharp dialogue, innovative narrative techniques, and compelling character arcs. It successfully balances humor and gravity, making a complex subject accessible and engaging for audiences. The character development is particularly strong, showcasing the moral dilemmas faced by those who profited from the crisis while also highlighting the human cost of financial greed.

Strengths
  • The screenplay opens with a strong hook that introduces the financial world in an engaging and humorous way, setting the tone for the rest of the film. high ( Scene 1 (1)   Scene 1 (2)   )
  • The use of celebrity cameos to explain complex financial concepts makes the material more relatable and entertaining for the audience. high ( Scene 1 (16)   )
  • Character arcs are well-developed, particularly Mark Baum's journey, which reflects the moral complexities of profiting from a crisis. high ( Scene 1 (37)   )
  • The screenplay effectively balances humor with serious themes, allowing for moments of levity amidst the gravity of the subject matter. high ( Scene 1 (92)   )
  • The conclusion ties together the various character arcs and themes, providing a poignant commentary on the consequences of the financial crisis. high ( Scene 1 (160)   )
Areas of Improvement
  • Some scenes could benefit from tighter editing to maintain pacing, particularly during exposition-heavy moments. medium ( Scene 1 (28)   )
  • While the character of Michael Burry is compelling, his backstory could be more fleshed out to enhance audience connection. medium ( Scene 1 (91)   )
  • The screenplay occasionally relies on financial jargon that may alienate viewers unfamiliar with the subject matter. medium ( Scene 1 (110)   )
  • Some character motivations could be clearer, particularly in the context of their moral dilemmas. medium ( Scene 1 (144)   )
  • The pacing in the final act could be improved to build more tension leading up to the climax. medium ( Scene 1 (157)   )
MissingElements
  • A deeper exploration of the personal lives of the characters could enhance emotional stakes. medium ( Scene 1 (12)   )
  • More context on the broader economic implications of the crisis could provide a stronger foundation for the narrative. medium ( Scene 1 (45)   )
  • The impact on everyday people affected by the crisis could be more prominently featured to ground the story. medium ( Scene 1 (118)   )
  • Additional scenes showing the aftermath of the crisis could provide a more comprehensive view of its consequences. medium ( Scene 1 (134)   )
  • A clearer resolution for some secondary characters would enhance the overall narrative closure. medium ( Scene 1 (160)   )
NotablePoints
  • The innovative use of visual storytelling techniques, such as breaking the fourth wall, keeps the audience engaged. high ( Scene 1 (16)   )
  • The screenplay's ability to convey complex financial concepts in an accessible manner is a significant achievement. high ( Scene 1 (37)   )
  • The emotional weight of the characters' decisions is effectively portrayed, adding depth to the narrative. high ( Scene 1 (92)   )
  • The screenplay's commentary on systemic corruption and greed resonates strongly with contemporary audiences. high ( Scene 1 (110)   )
  • The final moments of the screenplay leave a lasting impact, prompting reflection on the consequences of the financial crisis. high ( Scene 1 (160)   )
Blind Spots
  • Character Development While the main characters are well-developed, some secondary characters lack depth and motivation, making it difficult for the audience to connect with them. For example, the motivations of certain bankers and investors could be more clearly defined to enhance the narrative. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Exposition Heavy Scenes Some scenes rely heavily on exposition to convey complex financial concepts, which can feel forced and disrupt the flow of the narrative. For instance, the scenes where characters explain mortgage-backed securities could be streamlined to maintain engagement. medium
Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number Line
1Lewis Ranieri: Risk? What risk? The only risk is that you get paid back too soon!
15Jared Vennett: Basically I'm standing in front of a burning house and offering you fire insurance on it.
41Ben: You just bet against the American economy. If we’re right it means people lose homes, jobs, retirement savings, pensions. These aren’t just numbers. For every point unemployment goes up, 40 thousand people die. Did you know that?
55Mark: Wall Street took a good idea, Lewis Ranieri’s Mortgage Bond and turned it into an atomic bomb of fraud and stupidity that is on its way to decimating the world economy.
39Mark: Zero! There is a zero percent chance your subprime losses stop at 5%!