Women talking
Executive Summary
Poster
Overview
Genres: Drama, Thriller, Historical, Mystery, Character Study, Adventure
Setting: Early 20th century, A rural colony, likely in North America
Overview: In a secluded religious colony, a group of women grapples with the aftermath of a series of traumatic events inflicted by the men in their community. As they confront their shared pain and the oppressive structures that bind them, they engage in a profound dialogue about their choices: to stay and fight or to leave in search of freedom. The story unfolds through intimate conversations, flashbacks, and rituals, revealing the complexities of their relationships and the weight of their decisions. Ultimately, the women unite in their resolve to escape their abusive environment, seeking a new life beyond the confines of their patriarchal society.
Themes: Female Agency and Survival, Trauma and Healing, Faith and Forgiveness, Gender Roles and Power Dynamics
Conflict and Stakes: The women's struggle for autonomy and safety against oppressive societal norms and the threat posed by men in their community, particularly Klaas.
Overall Mood: Somber and reflective, with moments of tension and hope.
Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:
- Scene 1: The mood is somber and reflective as the women confront their shared trauma and the weight of their experiences.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The exploration of women's resilience in a patriarchal society, highlighting their collective struggle for autonomy.
- Plot Twist: The revelation of Klaas's true nature and the extent of his control over the colony, leading to a climactic confrontation.
- Innovative Ideas: The use of flashbacks and voiceovers to convey the characters' inner thoughts and traumas, enhancing emotional depth.
- Distinctive Setting: The rural colony setting provides a unique backdrop for the story, contrasting the beauty of nature with the harsh realities of life.
Comparable Scripts:
- The Handmaid's Tale
- Little Women
- The Color Purple
- Atonement
- The Crucible
- The Joy Luck Club
- Wild
- The Secret Life of Bees
- The Nightingale
Writing Style:
The screenplay exhibits a diverse yet cohesive writing style, blending elements of poetic realism, introspective character studies, and socially conscious narratives. While certain scenes lean towards intense action or dark humor, a consistent thread of emotional depth and nuanced character interactions runs throughout.
Style Similarities:
- Terrence Malick
- Jane Campion
- Kelly Reichardt
Pass/Consider/Recommend
Highly Recommend
Explanation: Sarah Polley's 'Women Talking' is a remarkably compelling and nuanced screenplay that transcends its seemingly simple premise. The film's strength lies in its insightful exploration of trauma, faith, and female agency within a deeply patriarchal community. While some might find the pacing deliberate, this allows for profound character development and thematic resonance. The screenplay's unique structure and powerful dialogue contribute to a truly unforgettable cinematic experience.
USP: What sets 'Women Talking' apart is its intimate portrayal of women's voices in a patriarchal society, emphasizing their collective struggle for autonomy and understanding. The screenplay's dialogue-driven format allows for deep character exploration, making it compelling for audiences interested in feminist narratives and social justice themes. Its unique blend of personal and political conflict creates a rich tapestry of storytelling that resonates with contemporary issues.
Market Analysis
Budget Estimate:$15-25 million
Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 18-54, particularly those interested in feminist narratives, historical dramas, and character-driven stories.
Marketability: The screenplay addresses relevant social themes and features strong female characters, appealing to a broad audience interested in empowerment narratives.
The unique setting and historical context provide a fresh perspective that can attract viewers looking for diverse storytelling.
While it has compelling characters and themes, its niche appeal may limit its mainstream marketability.
Profit Potential: Moderate to high, as it could attract critical acclaim and awards, boosting its visibility and box office performance.
Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice
Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by a potent blend of poetic introspection and gritty realism. It's deeply empathetic, focusing on the internal lives and emotional struggles of women facing societal oppression and trauma. The voice utilizes vivid imagery, both in visual descriptions and metaphorical language, to create a powerful atmosphere of tension, resilience, and quiet defiance. While there's a pervasive sense of melancholy and the weight of the past, the voice also allows for moments of humor and lightheartedness, revealing the characters' strength and ability to find joy amidst hardship.
Best representation: Scene 3 - Reflections at Dusk. This scene best encapsulates the writer's unique voice because it masterfully combines vivid visual imagery with introspective narration to highlight the stark contrast between the suffering of the women and the obliviousness of the men. The juxtaposition of the physical brutality endured by the women on the dusty road with the silent prayer inside the church powerfully conveys the societal injustice and the emotional weight of their experience. The use of August's voiceover provides insightful commentary on the societal judgment and misunderstanding, deepening the emotional impact and thematic resonance of the scene. This scene effectively showcases the blend of poetic introspection and gritty realism, a hallmark of the writer's distinctive style.
Memorable Lines:
- ONA: They said we were dreaming. But then we realized that we were dreaming one dream and it wasn’t a dream at all. (Scene 4)
- HELENA: We have only domestic skills. How are we supposed to survive out in the World if we are excommunicated? (Scene 10)
- PETERS: Go. Go to the city. Get the police. (Scene 13)
- NEITJE: So if we leave... if we leave... I will never see my brothers again? (Scene 27)
- Salome: He’s my child. (Scene 58)
Characters
Salome:A strong-willed mother who is protective of her children and grapples with the oppressive societal norms.
August:The colony schoolteacher who has deep feelings for Ona and struggles with his role in the community.
Ona:A pregnant woman who embodies hope and resilience, navigating her fears about motherhood and societal expectations.
Mejal:A character dealing with trauma and the complexities of her identity, representing the struggles of women in the colony.
Agata:A nurturing figure who provides emotional support to the other women and emphasizes the importance of community.
Klaas:An antagonist representing the oppressive forces within the colony, causing fear and conflict among the women.
Story Shape
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall Grade | Concept | Plot | Originality Score | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
1 - Echoes of Resilience | Intense, Emotional, Reflective | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
2 - Balancing Act | Suspenseful, Mysterious, Serious | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
3 - Silent Suffering | Serious, Mysterious, Tense | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
4 - Reflections at Dusk | Reflective, Emotional, Mysterious | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
5 - Choices in the Night | Somber, Reflective, Intimate | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
6 - Joy and Ritual: A Day in the Colony | Somber, Reflective, Intimate | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
7 - The Departure | Somber, Reflective, Tense | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
8 - Whispers in the Hayloft | Somber, Reflective, Tender | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
9 - The Vote in the Barn | Somber, Reflective, Tense | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
10 - Divided Loyalties in the Hayloft | Serious, Contemplative, Tense | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
11 - A Heartfelt Farewell | Reflective, Somber, Tender | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
12 - Primal Responses | Tense, Reflective, Contemplative | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
13 - Chaos at the Shed | Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
14 - The Weight of Forgiveness | Serious, Contentious, Reflective | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
15 - Haunted Reflections | Haunting, Anxious, Reflective | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
16 - Divided Voices in the Hayloft | Serious, Reflective, Contentious | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
17 - Voices in the Hayloft | Serious, Reflective, Contentious, Humorous | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
18 - Unity in Prayer and Song | Somber, Reflective, Tender, Emotional, Contemplative | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
19 - From Trauma to Harmony | Somber, Reflective, Unity, Humorous | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | |
20 - Reflections on Identity | Reflective, Somber, Contemplative | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | |
21 - Shadows of Grief | Tense, Emotional, Disturbing | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
22 - Silent Concerns | Somber, Reflective, Tense | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
23 - Reflections by the Barn | Reflective, Introspective, Nostalgic | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | |
24 - Domestic Disruption | Somber, Reflective, Tense, Light-hearted | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
25 - A Day of Distraction | Somber, Reflective, Introspective, Nostalgic | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
26 - Tensions in the Hayloft | Serious, Reflective, Tense, Somber, Humorous | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
27 - Unspoken Bonds | Reflective, Contemplative, Concerned | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
28 - Fading Hopes in the Hayloft | Somber, Reflective, Contemplative | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 7 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
29 - Tender Moments in the Hayloft | Contemplative, Tender, Awkward, Silent, Laughter | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 6 | 2 | 5 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
30 - Determined Resolve | Contemplative, Emotional, Reflective | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
31 - Lanterns and Uncertainty | Contemplative, Tense, Mystical | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
32 - Echoes of Pain | Intense, Emotional, Primal | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | |
33 - Twilight Decisions | Intense, Reflective, Contemplative | 9.2 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | |
34 - Reflections of Forgiveness | Reflective, Contemplative, Introspective | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
35 - Morning Joy: A Grandmother's Love | Reflective, Contemplative, Hopeful | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 3 | 5 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
36 - Twilight Decisions | Serious, Reflective, Emotional | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
37 - Playful Beginnings, Somber Reflections | Contemplative, Serious, Reflective | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
38 - The Reckless Joy of Youth | Reflective, Contemplative, Somber | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
39 - Awkward Affection | Reflective, Tender, Awkward | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 4 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
40 - Urgency in the Hayloft | Tense, Emotional, Reflective, Urgent, Humorous | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
41 - Twilight Tensions | Tense, Reflective, Introspective | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
42 - Faith and Family in the Twilight | Reflective, Supportive, Uplifting | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
43 - Twilight Tensions | Somber, Concerned, Dreadful | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
44 - Whispers of Uncertainty | Tense, Urgent, Mysterious | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
45 - The Weight of Responsibility | Anxious, Tense, Somber | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
46 - Twilight Tensions | Tense, Somber, Concerned | 8.2 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
47 - Tension in the Night | Tense, Anxious, Nervous | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
48 - Navigating Hope | Reflective, Instructional, Hopeful | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 3 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
49 - A Circle of Strength | Hopeful, Reflective, Emotional, Serious | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
50 - The Distant Hymn | Tense, Panic, Anxious, Somber, Reflective | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
51 - Tender Moments in the Hayloft | Tender, Nostalgic, Compassionate | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 2 | 7 | 3 | 6 | 7 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
52 - A New Dawn: Farewells and Hope | Emotional, Tense, Hopeful, Reflective | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
53 - Echoes of Desire | Reflective, Emotional, Tender | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 3 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
54 - Cycles of Life | Reflective, Tender, Anxious | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 6 | 3 | 7 | 8 | 5 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | |
55 - Harvest of Innocence and Distress | Emotional, Reflective, Tender, Anxious | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
56 - Betrayal and Confrontation | Tense, Anxious, Emotional, Urgent, Panic | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
57 - Struggles in the Wind | Reflective, Melancholic, Contemplative | 8.5 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 4 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 7 | |
58 - A Bittersweet Farewell | Tense, Emotional, Urgent, Reflective | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
59 - The Departure | Tension, Hope, Unity | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
60 - Echoes of Departure | Reflective, Emotional, Hopeful | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 10 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
Scene 1 - Echoes of Resilience
Screenplay by
Sarah Polley
Based on the book by Miriam Toews
April 12th, 2021-PRODUCTION DRAFT
May 31st, 2021-BLUE REVISIONS
June 21st, 2021-PINK REVISIONS
June 25th, 2021-YELLOW REVISIONS
July 3rd, 2021-GREEN REVISIONS
July 8th, 2021-SALMON REVISIONS
July 9th, 2021-GOLDENROD REVISIONS
July 10th, 2021-BUFF REVISIONS
July 18th, 2021-CHERRY REVISIONS
July 29th, 2021-TAN REVISIONS
August 9th, 2021-DOUBLE BLUE REVISIONS
August 16, 2021-DOUBLE PINK REVISIONS
(44, 44A, 93, 93A)
THE WOMEN:
THE REIMER WOMEN: *
Greta, the eldest
Mariche, the eldest daughter of Greta
Mejal, a younger daughter of Greta
Autje, a daughter of Mariche
THE FRIESEN WOMEN:
Agata, the eldest
Ona, the eldest daughter of Agata
Salome, a younger daughter of Agata
Neitje, a niece of Salome
THE JANZ WOMEN:
Scarface, the eldest
Anna, the eldest daughter of Scarface
Helena, the granddaughter of Scarface/daughter of Anna
VISUAL NOTE:
The flashbacks of trauma will be shot at 15fps and there will
be a “roar” over these scenes, animal and/or machine-like.
Ratings
Scene 2 - Balancing Act
A BOYS FEET WALK ALONG A THIN FENCE. AARON, (13) balances on
a fence. We follow him as he walks along the fence all the
way along a path that leads to a barn. We follow him around
the barn and the pen where a couple of YEARLINGS graze. He is
followed, in complete silence, by a group of about 14 BOYS
who walk on the ground beside him, watching his every move,
wondering if he will fall.
Beside them walks the SCHOOL TEACHER, AUGUST, who watches him
silently, willing him not to fall.
Blue Rev. (05/31/21) 2.
AARON manages to walk the entire length of the fence, around
the paddock, until its end. When he is done, he hops down and
the boys erupt in rapturous applause, as August watches them
closely.
August looks off into the distance, where he sees a GROUP OF
MEN coming towards the boys, looking stern.
AUGUST (V.O.)
The attacks were originally
attributed to ghosts and demons.
Ratings
Scene 3 - Silent Suffering
A GROUP OF 7 WOMEN walk along a dusty road. A WIND picks up.
They hold onto their hats.
3 INT. CHURCH - MORNING 3
DOZENS OF MEN bow, their heads on the floor in silent prayer.
AUGUST (V.O.)
When the women woke up feeling
drowsy and in pain, their bodies
bruised and bleeding, many believed
they were being made to suffer as
punishment for their sins.
Many accused the women of lying for
attention or to cover up adultery.
CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 4 - Reflections at Dusk
Ona, Salome, Salome’s 3 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER MIEP, and August
sit in a field. They stare out over the fields, at Miep
playing in the soy field.
SALOME
Hundreds of times. All of us.
Salome watches Miep. They all stare in silence at her for a
while. WE FOLLOW MIEP, her fragile little body, as she
creates a path through the soy field, as we hear the adults’
conversation, low in the background.
Pink Rev. (06/21/21) 3.
ONA
They said we were dreaming.
But then we realized that we were
dreaming one dream and it wasn’t a
dream at all.
We come back to August’s face, tears streaming out of his
eyes. He tries to quickly wipe them away. Salome looks at
him, she looks away. We go with Miep, deeper into the field.
SALOME (O.S.)
They told us that it was Satan. Or
the result of wild female
imagination.
OVER MIEP WALKING INTO THE DISTANCE WE SEE THE FOLLOWING
TEXT:
“WHAT FOLLOWS IS AN ACT OF FEMALE IMAGINATION.”
OVER BLACK:
ONA (V.O.)
I’m glad you’re back August. It’s
good that you came back.
Ratings
Scene 5 - Choices in the Night
NEITJE (15), hunches over a drawing. SALOME (35), MARICHE,
(29), MEJAL (33), ONA (40), AGATA (70), and GRETA (60), AUTJE
(16) watch her as she draws.
Salome points to three separate drawings as Neitje tells her
what they signify. Salome points to a drawing of a field with
clouds over it.
NEITJE
“Do nothing.”
Salome points at a drawing of a man and a woman, knives drawn
towards each other in battle.
SALOME
“Stay and fight.”
Salome points to a drawing of a horse, it’s back to us.
SALOME/NEITJE
“Leave.”
Salome pats Neitje’s shoulder, approvingly.
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 4.
6 EXT DILAPIDATED BARN - MORNING 6
August holds a gun in his hand. He seems to be walking in
circles in the field, unsure what to do.
AUGUST (V.O.)
I have been in love with Ona
Friesen for most of my life. This
morning she found me, having lost
my faith in everything.
We are behind Ona, walking towards him on the path. She sees
the gun by his side.
ONA
August.
He is startled and tries to hide the gun.
ONA (CONT'D)
Where are you going?
AUGUST
Nowhere.
Ona smiles at him. She thinks for a moment. She comes very
close to him, her face very close to his.
ONA
Early this morning I saw a squirrel
and a rabbit.
A pause.
AUGUST
Oh.
ONA
The squirrel charged the rabbit.
Just as the squirrel was about to
make contact with the rabbit, the
rabbit leapt straight up into the
air. Then the squirrel turned
around and charged the rabbit from
the other direction and the rabbit
leapt into the air and the squirrel
missed.
August looks at her, bemused.
ONA (CONT'D)
They were playing!
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 4A.
AUGUST
Is that so?
ONA
Maybe I wasn’t meant to have seen
them playing. It was very early in
the morning, and I was the only one
roaming around.
AUGUST
But you really saw that?
ONA
Yes. I saw it with my own eyes.
Ona watches him closely for a long time. She takes August’s
arm and pulls him with her.
ONA (CONT'D)
We need you.
AUGUST
What do you need me for?
ONA
We need you to take the minutes of
our meeting.
She walks away. She looks behind her, to make sure he
follows. He does.
Ratings
Scene 6 - Joy and Ritual: A Day in the Colony
NETTIE/MELVIN (25), dressed as a man, plays a game of tag
with a group of 13 children of varying ages, including JULIUS
(7).
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 5.
We follow the children closely in their game, and feel their
sweat and excitement. We drift up to the sky, a flock of
birds going by.
8 INT. HAYLOFT - EARLY AFTERNOON 8
The Women (Agata, Greta, Ona, Salome, Mariche, Autje, Neitje,
Mejal, Scarface, Anna and Helena)take off their socks and
shoes. Some wear plastic sandals with white socks. The
younger women, Neitje and Autje, wear torn canvas shoes with
white socks rolled down around their ankles. Mejal and Autje
have rope burns on their ankles. The older women wear sturdy
leather sandals.
AGATA (V.O.)
We must honour our service to each
other. We must represent it. Just
as the feet of the disciples were
washed by Jesus at the Last Supper,
knowing that his hour had come.
The Women wash each others feet. They wash the feet of the
person sitting to their right. They take time, they do it
slowly. August looks at the ground, not wanting to impose
himself.
As the women finish washing each others feet, they murmur
“God Bless You” to each other. Neitje and Autje try to
suppress giggles.
AUTJE
(To Neitje, giggling and
whispering.)
Stop. You’re tickling me.
NEITJE
(in a solemn, grown up
voice)
God Bless You.
This makes Autje laugh even harder. She tries to hide her
face in her sleeve. August sits down at a table and writes in
a notebook. We hear what he is writing as WE TRAVEL SLOWLY
OVER THE FACE OF EACH WOMAN, sitting in silence, waiting for
the discussion to begin.
AUGUST (V.O.)
At this moment in time, most of the
men are gone from the colony.
(MORE)
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 6.
AUGUST (V.O.) (CONT'D)
All of the able bodied men,
excluding those in wheelchairs, the
elderly, and me, the schoolteacher,
left yesterday for the city to post
bail for the imprisoned attackers,
leaving the women free to talk
openly with one another.
We hear, on the soundtrack, the THUNDEROUS SOUND OF BOOTS.
FLASHBACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 7 - The Departure
We see endless pairs of TALL BLACK BOOTS walking quickly in
the dirt. They make a thunderous, almost other-worldly noise.
The MEN OF THE COLONY, including PETERS, ELDERS, and KLAAS
(Mariche’s husband) gather buggies in a convoy. The WOMEN,
including Mariche, Agata, Salome, Mejal, help load them up.
The Women, for the most part, keep their heads down, avoiding
eye contact. The Men stand with their horses, looking at the
women, who stand there, across from them. Peters eyes them,
monitoring.
PETERS
We will be back in two days.
AUGUST (V.O.)
When they return, in 24 hours, the
women will be given the opportunity
to forgive these men, guaranteeing
everyone’s place in heaven.
The Men get into their buggies and ride off. The Women watch
them go, left in a cloud of dust behind the horses and
buggies. A TREMENDOUS SOUND as they rumble off, leaving the
women behind. We see them from above, the distance between
the men and women becoming greater.
Ratings
Scene 8 - Whispers in the Hayloft
We continue to land on the face of each woman, one by one.
AUGUST (V.O.)
My name is August Epp. Two months
ago, I returned, from the outside
world, to this colony, where I was
raised.
(MORE)
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 6A.
AUGUST (V.O.) (CONT'D)
I am now the colony schoolteacher,
and I have been asked to take the
minutes of the meetings because the
women are functionally illiterate,
having had very little education.
We land on Ona, who watches August writing, tenderly.
Yellow Rev. (06/25/21) 7.
AUGUST (V.O.)
Ona Friesen asked me if I would
take the minutes, and as I had
nothing to do but kill myself, and
as I have been in love with her for
most of my life and would do
anything for her, I agreed.
August looks up at Ona, he smiles lightly at her. He then
returns to his writing. The Women set themselves up in a kind
of haphazard circle.
Ratings
Scene 9 - The Vote in the Barn
The WOMEN OF THE COLONY (we see over a hundred of them here),
take turns in a crudely built ballot box. Some murmur to each
other. Coffee is served at a table with summer sausage and
buns.
AUGUST (V.O.)
A vote was held earlier this
morning.
The women take turns marking the paper, with Neitje’s
drawings, by writing an “X” next to one of the drawings. We
follow SCARFACE JANZ(50) as she puts an “X” next to the “Do
Nothing” picture. So do ANNA (30) and HELENA ( 16.) We watch,
as the women all mark down their votes. Ona, Mejal, Mariche,
Agata, Autje, and Neitje. Greta thinks for a long moment, and
then votes.
12 OMITTED 12
13 OMITTED 13
Double Pink Rev. (08/16/21) 8.
Ratings
Scene 10 - Divided Loyalties in the Hayloft
The Reimers sit roughly on one side, and the Friesens sit on *
the other. The Janz family sit further in the corner. There
is a table fashioned out of a piece of plywood laid across
hay bales. Their chairs are milking buckets. Neitje draws a
portrait of Scarface Janz and her girls.
AUGUST (V.O.)
As the vote was tied between the
option of Staying and Fighting or
Leaving, representatives of two
families of women, the Reimers and *
the Friesens, have been tasked with
deciding whether or not to Stay and
Fight or Leave, while the rest of
the women tend to the work of the
colony. They have invited
representatives of the Janz family
to be part of the conversation,
though they voted to do nothing.
They are meeting in Earnest
Penner’s hayloft, as he is senile
and rarely comes in.
Scarface takes a deep breath and begins.
SCARFACE JANZ
It is part of our faith to forgive.
We have always forgiven those who
have wronged us. Why not now?
SALOME
Because now we know better.
SCARFACE JANZ
Better than God? You know better
than God?
ANNA
Our Lord requires us to forgive,
Salome. Or do you believe yourself
mightier than he?
SCARFACE JANZ
We will be excommunicated, forced
to leave the colony in disgrace, if
we don’t forgive the men. And if we
are excommunicated, we will forfeit
our place in heaven.
HELENA
How could any of you live with the
fear of that?
Agata looks at Helena softly.
AGATA
What else are you afraid of Helena?
Tell us. We want to hear.
Agata moves towards Helena and sits on an overturned milk
pail at her side, holding her hand.
HELENA
(quietly)
We can only do what we have
learned.
GRETA
Speak up, Helena. We can’t hear
you.
HELENA
(louder)
We have only domestic skills. How
are we supposed to survive out in
the World if we are excommunicated?
ANNA
We are unable to read or write.
We’ve never even seen a map.
Agata nods, sympathetically.
AGATA
These are all legitimate fears. How
can we address them?
Agata looks around at the women, inviting them to speak.
SALOME
Shouldn’t we be concerned about
more than just our survival,
Helena? Is what we have lived,
worth preserving?
SCARFACE JANZ
These questions themselves are
blasphemous.
There is a long silence.
GRETA
Alright. No more blasphemous
questions. I want to talk about my
horses, Ruth and Cheryl.
FLASHBACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 11 - A Heartfelt Farewell
Greta lovingly tends to her team of old horses, RUTH AND
CHERYL. She brushes them, looks into their eyes, smiles
tenderly. She breaks contact, a sadness coming over her. She
gives them a final pat as she walks away.
GRETA
Alright. We’ll go.
16 EXT. ROAD - EARLY MORNING 16
Greta drives her buggy along the road with her old horses
Ruth and Cheryl. We see from Greta’s POV: Ahead of them, a
ROTTWEILER APPEARS and barks. Ruth and Cheryl begin to bolt.
Greta struggles to keep them on the road.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 11.
GRETA (V.O.)
When Ruth and Cheryl are frightened
by Dueck’s Rottweilers on the mile
road that leads to the church,
their initial instinct is to bolt.
These horses don’t organize
meetings to decide what they will
do. They run.
On Greta’s POV of Ruth and Cheryl’s manes, flying in the wind
as they bolt into the field.
CUT BACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 12 - Primal Responses
Agata laughs.
AGATA
But Greta, we are not animals.
GRETA
We have been preyed upon like
animals. Maybe we should respond
like animals.
ONA
Do you mean run away?
SALOME
Or kill our attackers?
Mariche makes a soft scoffing sound.
FLASHBACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 13 - Chaos at the Shed
Salome runs, shrieking, with a scythe at a shed. We see
through the slats as THE 5 MEN INSIDE yell for help and try
to back into the corner of the shed. Salome breaks the lock.
She slashes at one of the MEN with her scythe. She is pulled
away by PETERS, along with a FEW OTHER MEN. She is pushed to
the ground. We see the blood from the man on her face. PETERS
looks around, breathless. He puts his face in his hands, at
the end of his rope. When he looks up, he has made a
decision.
Yellow Rev. (06/25/21) 12.
PETERS
Go. Go to the city. Get the police.
The other men look, questioningly at Peters.
PETERS (CONT'D)
For their own protection. These men
need to be taken to jail in the
city.
CUT BACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 14 - The Weight of Forgiveness
AGATA
In my lifetime I have seen horses
confront angry dogs and try to
stomp them to death. Animals don’t
always flee their attackers. They
can fight back and they can run
away.
She inhales deeply.
AGATA (CONT'D)
Either way, it’s a waste of time to
try to establish whether we are
animals. The men will be coming
back from the city after they pay
the bail for our attackers. Soon.
SCARFACE JANZ
The only important thing to
establish is whether we forgive the
men so that we are allowed to enter
the gates of heaven.
Salome laughs, loudly. She stands up and goes to the south
doors and throws them open.
MARICHE
Laugh all you want, Salome. But we
will be forced to leave the colony
if we don’t forgive the men. And
how will the Lord, when He arrives,
find all the women if we aren’t in
our colony?
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 13.
SALOME
If Jesus is able to return to life,
live for thousands of years and
then drop down to earth from
heaven, to scoop up his supporters,
surely he’d also be able to locate
a few women who-
Agata makes a quick gesture to silence Salome. Scarface
shakes her head, appalled.
AGATA
Let’s stay on track-
Salome moves quickly back towards the circle of women.
SALOME
Alright. I’ll stay on track. I
cannot forgive them. I will never
forgive them.
MEJAL
I can’t either.
Autje nods.
MARICHE
But we want to enter the gates of
heaven when we die.
Agata and Greta nod. Everyone is silent for a while. They
sit, thinking.
ONA
Are we asking ourselves what our
priority is? To protect our
children or to enter the kingdom of
heaven?
Salome makes a sound of frustration. She kicks a bucket.
Greta goes and retrieves it and sits back down.
MEJAL
No. That is not what we are asking.
That is an exaggeration of what we
are discussing.
ONA
What are we discussing, then?
AGATA
We will burn that bridge when we
come to it.
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 14.
SCARFACE JANZ
We have everything we want here.
Salome shakes her head.
SALOME
No.
SCARFACE JANZ
Want less.
Salome looks at her and laughs out loud.
SCARFACE JANZ (CONT'D)
Does entering the kingdom of heaven
mean nothing to any of you? After
all we have suffered?
ANNA
Are you really willing to give up
what we have always lived for?
ONA
Surely there is something in this
life worth living for, not only in
the next.
SCARFACE JANZ
Are you abandoning your faith?
AGATA
(to Scarface)
We cannot stand by and do nothing
when our children are harmed.
SCARFACE JANZ
(to Ona, Agata and Salome)
How are you protecting your
children from harm if you turn your
back on God? And how will any of
you survive? If you stay and fight
you will lose. Or if you leave...
HELENA
Where will you go?
Scarface stands to leave. Agata steps towards Scarface.
AGATA
(to Scarface Janz)
All I know is that we cannot do
nothing.
(MORE)
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 14A.
AGATA (CONT'D)
By doing nothing we are not
protecting our children who were
given to us by God to protect and
nurture.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 15.
SCARFACE JANZ
We will not be damned to hell with
you.
AGATA
That is your decision, and we must
respect it.
Scarface takes Helena’s hand in hers and motions to Anna to
follow. Autje crosses the room and lightly touches Helena’s
hand. As Scarface pulls her way, Autje grabs for it one more
time and then lets go. Anna looks back, making eye contact
with Mariche, but follows her mother and Helena. Mariche
pushes her milk pail back, the edge scraping on the floor,
taking her mother’s attention. But she does not leave with
the Janz women. There is silence after the Janz family
leaves. Agata addresses the group.
AGATA (CONT'D)
We must decide now whether we will
stay and fight or leave. These are
the options in front of us. We will
not do nothing.
Autje goes and sits behind her family and Neitje joins her,
grabbing her hand.
Ratings
Scene 15 - Haunted Reflections
The sun is slightly lower in the sky.
21 INT. SCARFACE JANZ’S HOUSE - AFTERNOON 21
Scarface Janz sits quietly at her spotless kitchen table, her
adult children and their children running around doing chores
behind her. She looks out the window, looking haunted.
After some time, Anna and Helena enter and sit beside her.
Anna is shaking. They sit in silence for a long time. We
follow Scarface Janz as she walks through her house and out
her front door. She stands and stares at the hayloft in the
distance. She turns away and looks at the horizon.
Anna looks down at the kitchen table, breathing hard, trying
to contain her panic. Helena puts a hand on her mother’s arm.
Ratings
Scene 16 - Divided Voices in the Hayloft
The remaining women sit in silence. Autje swings from a beam
above the women. The silence is broken by Greta.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 15A.
GRETA
I believe the only solution is to
flee.
Blue Rev. (05/31/21) 16.
SALOME
Is this how we want to teach our
daughters to defend themselves? By
fleeing?
GRETA
Not fleeing, but leaving. I am
talking about leaving.
Salome continues as though she hasn’t heard Greta.
SALOME
I’d rather stand my ground and
shoot each man in the heart and
bury them in a pit than flee. And
I’ll deal with God’s wrath if I
have to!
ONA
(gently)
Salome. Aunt Greta is talking about
leaving, not fleeing. The word
“fleeing” wasn’t what they meant.
Mariche shakes her head, indignant.
MARICHE
Please forgive my mother for using
the wrong word. It is a sin so
outrageous, that Salome must take
it upon herself to rectify for the
sake of all humanity.
AGATA
“Leaving” and “fleeing” are
different words. With different
meanings. They each say something
about us.
Agata notices August, watching.
AGATA (CONT'D)
August what do you make of all
this? Do you have an opinion too?
Agata goes to August and puts her arm around his shoulder.
AGATA (CONT'D)
Well, August?
August thinks for a while.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 17.
AUGUST
I think... I think that it is
possible to leave something or
someone in one frame of mind and
arrive elsewhere, in another
entirely unexpected frame of mind.
MARICHE
We are already aware of this.
ONA
We are aware of many things, in our
hearts. But it is good, sometimes,
to have them said out loud.
MEJAL
I want to stay and fight.
Everyone stares at Mejal, her assurance. She takes a sharp
inhale of breath.
MARICHE
Won’t we lose the fight to the men
and then be forced to forgive them
anyway?
ONA
Is forgiveness that is forced upon
us true forgiveness?
A bit of straw falls from Autje’s swinging into Mariche’s
hair. She looks up at Autje.
MARICHE
Autje!
MEJAL
Behave yourself. Can’t you hear the
rafter creaking? Do you want the
roof to cave in?
August looks up, smiles to himself. Mejal reaches for her
pouch of tobacco and rests her hand lightly on it. Autje gets
down and she and Netje play a clapping game with their hands
hidden beneath the table.
Greta takes her false teeth out. She taps them on the plywood
and pops them back in.
SALOME
I want to stay and fight too.
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 18.
Everyone looks at Salome.
MARICHE
Of course you do. No one is
surprised that you do. All you do
is fight. Is this how we are to
decide the fates of all of the
women of this colony? Just another
vote where we put an X next to our
position? I thought we were here to
do more than that.
SALOME
You mean talk more about forgiving
the men and doing nothing?
MARICHE
Everything else is insane. But none
of you will listen to reason.
SALOME
Why are you here then?! Why are you
still here with us if that is what
you believe?! Leave with the rest
of the do-nothing women!
GRETA
She is my daughter and I want her
here with us.
AGATA
I believe we are capable of hearing
opinions other than our own. Or how
can we expect anything to change?
Everyone is quiet, respectful of Agata and Greta.
AUTJE
(whispering to Neitje)
This is never going to end.
NEITJE
(whispering to Autje)
We’ll be dead and they’ll still be
talking.
AUTJE
(whispering)
Or worse. We might have to live
through it.
Neitje and Autje are in a body language contest of who can
convey their boredom the best.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 18A.
Autje pretends to shoot herself in the head by inserting a
rifle into her mouth, then slumping over on her milk pail.
Ona gets a large roll of butcher paper from the corner and
hands it to August.
ONA
August. I think you should make
lists of the pros and cons for both
options. Staying and Fighting or
Leaving. And write large. Post it
on the wall.
MEJAL
Why? We can’t read it.
ONA
No. But we will keep it here as an
artifact for others to discover.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 19.
SALOME
(tenderly)
Yes. A discovery.
Mejal helps Neitje and Autje post a large piece of butcher
paper to the wall and he writes on it. Then they continue to
post the pages August has already written on the wall. Mejal
looks down at her hands which are trembling.
ONA
I think the first heading should
read as follows. Staying and
Fighting. Beneath that, write Pros.
AGATA
Who will go first?
The Women begin to talk very rapidly, asserting their ideas.
August puts his hand up, gently.
AUGUST
Forgive me. Please excuse me.
Forgive me. May I request that you
take turns speaking so that I can
understand what each of you is
saying. It takes me a few seconds
to transcribe...I’m a little behind
here. I have to catch up.
MARICHE
Shall we put up our hands? As
though we are children in your
schoolhouse?
AUGUST
I apologize.
SALOME
We won’t have to leave.
AUGUST
Excuse me?
MARICHE
Write it down. Under pros. Salome
has had a brilliant idea.
MARICHE (CONT'D)
(theatrically, mocking
Salome)
“If we stay, we won’t have to
leave.”
Salome glares at Mariche. August writes this down.
NEITJE
(shrugging, half hearted)
We won’t have to pack.
August writes this down as well.
MEJAL
We won’t have to figure out where
we’re going or experience the
uncertainty of not knowing where we
are going. We don’t have a map.
Salome scoffs.
SALOME
That’s absurd. The only certainty
we’ll know is uncertainty, no
matter where we are.
ONA
Other than the certainty of the
power of love.
Salome turns to face Ona directly.
SALOME
Keep nonsense like that to
yourself. Please.
MEJAL
Why couldn’t that be the case, that
the only certainty is the power of
love?
SALOME
(shouting)
Because it’s meaningless!
Especially in this fucking
situation!
AGATA
(commanding)
Stop it. Now. I mean it.
They are quiet. Salome bites slivers off her fingernails and
eats them. Mejal grimaces in disgust as Salome spits out the
nails.
MEJAL
That is disgusting. Truly.
Neitje and Autje begin to braid their hair into one long
braid that connects them.
AGATA
Neitje? Autje? Do you have
something to add to the list?
NEITJE
We won’t have to leave the people
we love?
GRETA
We could bring loved ones with us
if we leave.
MEJAL
How? What does that mean? We move
the whole colony? What can that
possibly mean?
ONA
(gently)
Several of the people we love are
people we also fear.
AGATA
We could create the possibility of
a new order right here, in a place
that is familiar to us.
SALOME
Not simply familiar. A place that
is ours.
MEJAL
Do we need to write the cons? Isn’t
it obvious that we must stay and
fight?
GRETA
Cons. We won’t be forgiven.
August writes CONS on the paper.
MARICHE
We don’t know how to fight.
SALOME
I know how to fight.
The others ignore Salome.
MARICHE
We don’t want to fight.
GRETA
There is the risk that conditions
will be worse after fighting than
before.
Ona raises her hand.
ONA
May I speak?
AUGUST
Please.
ONA
Would it be a good idea, before we
list the pros and cons of staying
and fighting, to talk about exactly
what we are fighting for?
SALOME
It’s obvious: we’re fighting for
our safety and for our freedom from
attacks!
ONA
Yes. But what would that mean to
us? Perhaps we need a statement
which describes what we want the
colony to be like after winning the
fight. Perhaps we need to know more
about what we are fighting to
achieve, not only what we are
fighting to destroy.
MARICHE
Why don’t we talk about reality
instead?
AGATA
Because our reality is an old one.
And we are talking about creating a
new reality.
Autje and Neitje put their heads down on the table, miming
boredom and exasperation. Neitje rests her head on her arm.
Her voice is muffled.
NEITJE
(plaintive)
Are we staying or going?
AGATA
Ona. Please tell us more about the
statement you are thinking about.
ONA
Men and women will make all
decisions for the colony
collectively. Women will be allowed
to think. Girls will be taught to
read and write. The schoolhouse
must display a map of the world so
that we can begin to understand our
place in it. A new religion, taken
from the old but focused on love,
will be created by the women of the
colony.
Mariche creases her brow, dramatically.
ONA (CONT'D)
Our children will be safe.
Greta has closed her eyes and is smiling.
GRETA
“Collectively.” You sound like
August’s mother.
August looks up. He and Ona look at each other.
MARICHE
Ona. You are a dreamer.
ONA
(calmly)
We are women without a voice. We
have nothing to return to. Even the
animals of the colony are safer in
their homes than we women are. All
we have are our dreams. So of
course we are dreamers.
Mariche scoffs.
MARICHE
Would you like to hear my dream? I
dream that people who speak
nonsense, who have no grasp on
reality, are not put in charge of
making statements!
Ona smiles, with genuine appreciation. Agata clears her
throat.
Buff Rev. (07/10/21) 24.
AGATA
The statement Ona described sounds
good to me. We can add to it over
time. For now, it will declare what
we women see as the future of the
colony, whether we are here or
elsewhere. Are we agreed?
Greta raises her arms into the air. The women nod, some half-
heartedly. Neitje’s eyes roll in their sockets as her head
snaps back and her jaw drops open. Autje laughs. Greta
shushes her. Ona opens a window. Neitje walks over to the
packing paper, pulling Autje along with her with their braids
still attached, and begins to draw illustrations beside
August’s words.
GRETA
What will happen if the men refuse
to meet our demands?
ONA
We will kill them.
Autje and Neitje gasp. And then smile tentatively. Autje puts
her face in her hands, trying not to laugh. Neitje jabs her
with her elbow to make her stop. Mejal, perturbed, takes out
her tobacco and rolling papers. Agata stands up and puts her
arms around Ona.
AGATA
(whispering)
No. Ona. No.
Agata looks at the others while she gently cradles her
daughter.
AGATA (CONT'D)
She is only joking.
Salome shrugs.
SALOME
Maybe not.
Agata pokes Salome in the shoulder. Neitje draws a woman
killing a man.
MARICHE
What if the men who are in prison
are not guilty?
AUTJE
Mother?
Buff Rev. (07/10/21) 24A.
MARICHE
Yes I know, Autje.
AUTJE
Then why are you asking-
NEITJE
We caught one of them. I saw him.
FLASHBACK TO:
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 25.
Ratings
Scene 17 - Voices in the Hayloft
A din like a roar. Neitje waits by her bedroom window, Autje
behind her. They hears something and Neitje sticks her head
out of her bedroom window. She sees a YOUNG MAN, creeping up
a ladder, a LARGE SPRAY CAN in his hands. He looks back up at
her. She screams, Autje does too. He scrambles down the
ladder.
ONA (V.O.)
Only one.
SALOME (V.O.)
Yes. Only one. But he named the
others.
CUT BACK TO:
24 INT. HAYLOFT - AFTERNOON 24
MARICHE
But what if he was lying?
There is silence for a while.
SALOME
But the point-
Mariche sighs.
MARICHE
We must consider this.
SALOME
No! That is not our responsibility!
Because we aren’t in charge of
whether or not they are punished.
We know that we’ve been attacked by
men and not by ghosts or Satan as
we were led to believe for so long.
We know we have not imagined these
attacks, that we were made
unconscious with cow tranquilizer.
We know that we are bruised and
infected and pregnant and terrified
and insane and some of us are dead.
We know that we must protect our
children. Regardless of who is
guilty!
AGATA
Alright, Salome, thank you, please
sit down.
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 26.
She tugs on Salome’s sleeve. Agata takes a breath and strokes
Salome’s hair and gently urges her back to the milk bucket.
She murmurs words to her as she sits beside her, calming her,
stroking her hair. Neitje draws two braids ( like hers and
Autje’s) intertwined.
AGATA (CONT'D)
Shall we move on?
MARICHE
But if there is any chance that the
men in prison are innocent,
shouldn’t we be joining forces to
secure their freedom?
ONA
It is possible that the men in
prison are not guilty of the
attacks. But are they guilty of not
stopping the attacks? Are they
guilty of knowing about the attacks
and doing nothing?
MARICHE
How should we know what they’re
guilty of or not?
ONA
But we do know. We do know that the
conditions have been created by men
and that these attacks have been
made possible because of the
circumstances of the colony. And
those circumstances have been
created and ordained by the men.
MARICHE
But wait, aren’t you suggesting
that the attackers are as much
victims as the victims of the
attacks? That all of us, men and
women, are victims of the
circumstances from which the colony
has been created?
Ona is quiet for a long time.
ONA
In a sense, yes.
MARICHE
So then, even if the court finds
them guilty or innocent, they are,
after all, innocent?
Double Blue Rev. (08/09/21) 27.
ONA
Yes, I would say so.
MEJAL
The elders called them evil.
ONA
But that’s not true.
SALOME
It’s the elder’s quest for power
that is responsible.
ONA
Yes because they needed to have
those-
SALOME
Those they’d have power over.
MEJAL
And those people are us.
AGATA
And they have taught this lesson of
power to the boys and men of the
colony and the boys and men have
been excellent students.
MEJAL
But don’t we all want some type of
power?
ONA
Yes, I think so. But I’m not sure.
AGATA
The only thing we can be sure of is
that time is disappearing.
AUTJE
But... we caught them. We caught
them.
SALOME
Yes.
MARICHE
Yes you did.
The women look at the girls, somewhat in awe.
Double Blue Rev. (08/09/21) 27A.
AUTJE
Then why are you making it so
complicated?
NEITJE
(to herself)
It’s very, very boring.
ONA
We could ask the men to leave.
MEJAL
Is that a joke?
SALOME
Are you crazy, Ona?
Agata puts her hand on her chest.
AGATA
No, no...
GRETA
Ask the men to leave?!
AGATA
None of us have ever asked the men
for anything. Not a single thing,
not even for the salt to be passed,
not even for a penny or a moment
alone or to take the washing in or
to open a curtain or to go easy on
the small yearlings or to put your
hand on the small of my back as I
try, again, for the twelfth or
thirteenth time, to push a baby out
of my body. Isn’t it interesting,
that the one and only request we
women would have of the men would
be to leave?
The Women break out laughing. They can’t stop. When one stops
for a moment, they quickly resume laughing in a loud burst,
setting everyone else off. It is contagious and out of
control. Finally, Agata calms.
AGATA (CONT'D)
It’s not an option. They wouldn’t
leave.
The others agree, saying “No.”
GRETA
Asking the men to leave is not an
option. I’d like you to imagine
Ruth and Cheryl-
AGATA
Oh no, not again.
Ona has not stopped laughing.
ONA
Please stop. I’m afraid I’ll go
into labour!
They laugh harder. Mariche tries not to laugh, but looking at
August makes her splutter.
MARICHE
Look! August is still taking the
minutes!
This sets them off into new hysterics. August watches Ona as
she laughs. Agata slaps August on the back.
Buff Rev. (07/10/21) 29.
AGATA
You must think we’re all lunatics.
AUGUST
I don’t. And it doesn’t matter what
I think, anyway.
ONA
Do you think that’s true? That it
doesn’t matter what you think?
August blushes.
ONA (CONT'D)
How would you feel if in your
entire lifetime it had never
mattered what you thought?
AUGUST
But I’m not here to think. I’m here
to take the minutes of your
meeting.
ONA
But if, in all your life, you truly
felt that it didn’t matter what you
thought, how would that make you
feel?
August considers this. So do The Women. Ona looks around, a
new thought occurring to her.
ONA (CONT'D)
When we have liberated ourselves,
we will have to ask ourselves who
we are.
They sit in silence. Neitje draws a picture of the women
laughing.
Neitje and Autje are stifling giggles. Mejal plays with the
smoke in her hand. Salome stares wistfully out of the South-
facing door, towards the hills, past the soy fields. WE
FOLLOW HER GAZE out the window, traveling past the women. A
long pause as we look in silence at the landscape. MIEP, (3)
in the field, plays with a strand of grass, looks up at the
sky.
SALOME
Will we be done by suppertime? I
have to give little Miep her
antibiotics.
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 30.
GRETA
Where did you get antibiotics?
AGATA
She walked. She walked for a day
and a half to the mobile klinic.
With Miep on her back.
Agata stays perfectly still after mentioning Miep, mouthing
the words to a verse from Psalms. She is very still,
predatory. Everyone is silent at the mention of Miep.
CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 18 - Unity in Prayer and Song
VERY WIDE on Salome, looking exhausted, small in the
distance. She walks down a long, dusty road. We stay close on
her profile, occasionally moving back to see the face of her
sleeping daughter, resting on her shoulders. We see them from
behind as they become specks on the crest of the hill in the
distance.
We hear Agata’s voice, almost a whisper, softly praying.
AGATA (V.O.)
The Lord is gracious and
compassionate, slow to anger, rich
in loving kindness and forgiveness.
CUT BACK TO:
26 INT. HAYLOFT - EARLY AFTERNOON 26
SALOME
I have to hide the antibiotics in
Miep’s apple sauce or she won’t
swallow them.
The Women nod. Agata remains perfectly still, mouthing the
words to the prayer.
AGATA
The Lord is gracious and
compassionate, slow to anger, rich
in loving kindness and forgiveness.
Greta goes over to Agata and pulls up a stool beside her. She
takes Agata’s hand and joins her in the recitation.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 31.
AGATA/GRETA
The Lord is gracious and
compassionate, slow to anger, rich
in loving kindness and forgiveness.
August looks around at the silent women. Greta opens and
closes her eyes. Mariche comes over and sits beside her and
strokes her hand.
GRETA
I’m not crying. I’m moisturizing.
Agata begins to sing. The other women join hands and sing.
Ona harmonizes, beautifully. Neitje and Autje roll their eyes
and shake their heads.
THE WOMEN
Work, for the night is coming,
Work, through the morning hours;
Work, while the dew is sparkling,
Work ‘mid springing flowers;
Greta winces and she removes her false teeth again. She puts
them down on the plywood.
GRETA
(whispering to Mejal)
Forgive me. They are too big for my
mouth.
Mariche stares at the teeth on the plywood. The hymn
continues over:
FLASHBACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 19 - From Trauma to Harmony
Greta opens her mouth, blood comes out. She looks down at her
hand which has her bloody teeth in it.
CUT BACK TO:
28 INT. HAYLOFT - EARLY AFTERNOON 28
Neitje and Autje look mortified by the singing and look
downwards. Greta puts her teeth back in and walks over to
Autje and pats her hand, encourages her to sing. Autje
reluctantly obliges.
Tan Rev. (07/29/21) 32.
AGATA
Well. Let’s take a break.
Autje slips down the ladder and out of the hayloft. We watch
The Women slip down the ladder, one by one. A few continue to
hum the hymn, which we hear over the next few scenes:
29 EXT. PADDOCK - MID-AFTERNOON 29
Neitje braids Autje’s hair.
Ratings
Scene 20 - Reflections on Identity
Mejal lights up a cigarette, leaning on the fence. She stares
up at the barn. Then she looks out toward the field where she
sees, in the distance, the CHILDREN playing tag in the soy
fields. MELVIN/NETTIE is watching over the children. Autje
joins Mejal, much to her chagrin. They keep watching
MELVIN/NETTIE.
MEJAL
Don’t say a word about my smoking.
Honestly.
AUTJE
Is she always going to be like this
now?
MEJAL
Like what?
AUTJE
Like a man. Is Nettie always going
to be a man now?
MEJAL
I think she always felt she wasn’t
a woman. What happened to her just
made it...final.
FLASHBACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 21 - Shadows of Grief
Melvin/Nettie, in a nightie, covered in blood from the waist
down, stares at something offscreen, on the floor.
CUT TO:
Tan Rev. (07/29/21) 32A.
32 INT. NETTIE/MELVIN'S BEDROOM - MORNING - FIVE DAYS EARLIER 32
Melvin/Nettie smears the blood over the walls, hysterical.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 33.
33 EXT. SHED - MORNING - FIVE DAYS EARLIER 33
Melvin/Nettie, still covered in blood, but silent now, sits
with his back to the shed. He speaks, without looking back
between the slats, where we see pieces of the men inside.
NETTIE/MELVIN
Is my brother listening?
MAN
He is.
NETTIE/MELVIN
Hello, little brother. I don’t know
if it was your baby or one of your
friends. But I think it was likely
yours. Because there was something
wrong with it. Small as a bun, but
with everything intact. I loved it,
I think. Isn’t that strange? I
won’t speak of it... or anything
else. Ever again.
Slowly, Nettie/Melvin gets up and walks away, a resolve on
his face.
CUT BACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 22 - Silent Concerns
Present Day.
Nettie/Melvin bandages a cut on a LITTLE GIRL’S knee. Mejal
and Autje continue to watch.
AUTJE
But-
MEJAL
But what?
AUTJE
She doesn’t speak anymore.
MEJAL
She speaks to the children. I think
they call her Melvin.
Mejal shrugs. Mejal stomps out her cigarette. Autje stares at
it.
MEJAL (CONT'D)
I mean it. Not one word about my
smoking.
Autje walks off.
Ratings
Scene 23 - Reflections by the Barn
Autje walks to the pump with a pail and pumps it vigorously.
August sits nearby, looking out at the fields. He stands up,
awkwardly. They are silent for a time. August clears his
throat.
AUGUST
You know, during the second world
war, in Italy, civilians would hide
in bomb shelters. Volunteers were
needed to power the generators that
provided electricity. They rode
bikes. When you were swinging from
the rafter earlier, it reminded me
of this. You would have been the
perfect volunteer. If we were in a
bomb shelter.
AUTJE
Where would I ride the bike to in
such a small space?
AUGUST
Ah yes. Well, the bike would be
stationary.
Autje smiles and ponders this for a moment.
AUTJE
I have to get the water to the
yearlings.
She looks back at him, smiles.
AUTJE (CONT'D)
Watch this.
She swings the pail of water around in a complete circle
without spilling a drop. August smiles, awkwardly.
AUTJE (CONT'D)
I’ll bet you didn’t learn how to do
things like that when you went to
University.
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 35.
August shakes his head.
AUTJE (CONT'D)
Only facts about stationary
bicycles in far off places.
August looks down, nods.
AUTJE (CONT'D)
I suppose I shouldn’t be too sad
then. That I won’t ever go.
They look at each other for a long moment, trying to read
each other.
AUTJE (CONT'D)
Why were you forced to leave?
AUGUST
My mother questioned things.
AUTJE
She questioned God?
AUGUST
Not God. Power. The rules that are
made in the name of God. She
encouraged others to question
things too.
AUTJE
Like Aunt Ona?
AUGUST
Yes. Ona knew her well.
AUTJE
Did she die?
August nods.
AUGUST
But sometimes, listening to all of
you speaking today, I can hear her
so clearly.
AUTJE
Why did the elders let you come
back?
AUGUST
I went to university. So I could
serve a purpose and teach the boys.
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 35A.
AUTJE
Too late.
There is a silence.
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 36.
AUGUST
I want to help. And I don’t know
how.
Autje shrugs.
AUTJE
You came back for Aunt Ona didn’t
you? The way you look at her is...
funny. I don’t know why she won’t
just marry you. You both say so
much that doesn’t make sense.
Autje breaks the gaze and runs to the horses.
Ratings
Scene 24 - Domestic Disruption
We hear, over the next few scenes, a distant sound of a
megaphone, and a truck rolling by. The sound of “California
Dreaming” coming out of a tinny truck radio gets louder as
Mariche tends to her many children. (There are 8 of them.)
Mariche looks up, unsettled.
LOUDSPEAKER (O.S.)
I am here to collect data for the
2010 census.
Mariche ignores it. She redirects the children, who are
fascinated and going towards the windows to look for the
source of the foreign sound, and see the truck going by.
36A EXT. MARICHE’S HOUSE 36A
The census truck goes by the house and down the road.
37 INT. GRETA’S KITCHEN - AFTERNOON 37
Greta makes bread with the help of four of her grandchildren.
LOUDSPEAKER (O.S.)
I am here to collect data for the
2010 census. All residents must
come out of their homes to be
counted.
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 36A.
38 INT. SALOME'S HOUSE - AFTERNOON 38
Salome crushes a pill into apple sauce and feeds Miep the
apple sauce. Miep looks up at AARON, Salome’s 13 year old
son. He tickles her. Salome smiles, scuffs Aaron’s head.
Green Rev. (07/03/21) 37.
39 INT. SCARFACE JANZ’S SEWING ROOM- AFTERNOON 39
Scarface Janz is sewing with Anna and Helena and two of her
other daughters. She looks up at the sound of the voice. She
is still.
Ratings
Scene 25 - A Day of Distraction
Agata collects eggs. She looks up as she hears the voice
booming nearby. She pays little attention.
41 INT. GRETA’S HORSE BARN - AFTERNOON 41
Autje pours water into the horses’ trough while Neitje feeds
hay to Ruth and Cheryl. A wooden trailer loaded with hay
bales sits near the barn.
Autje and Neitje hear the Census Truck approach. They turn,
watching the truck stop by the side of the road. They look at
each other and smile, then leave the pail and hay behind as
they gravitate towards the music.
42 EXT. WASHHOUSE LATE AFTERNOON 42
Mejal sits under laundry, light pouring through white
dresses. She braids one of her daughters’ hair tightly, as
other children play around her, and another daughter (12)
washes clothes in an outdoor sink. She hears the loudspeaker,
and similarly ignores it.
43 INT HAYLOFT - LATE AFTERNOON 43
August sees, out the East Barn doors, in the distance, the
truck, stopped. Autje and Neitje approach it. They stand
there, listening. “California Dreaming” still plays out of
the radio. The girls are looking into the driver’s side of
the truck, bopping ever so slightly to the music. We see the
drivers face in the side mirror, the girls in the foreground.
We don’t hear their words, but it is clear they are flirting,
and so is he. Eventually the truck drives away. “California
Dreaming” continues to play over:
Ratings
Scene 26 - Tensions in the Hayloft
August is in the hayloft alone. He looks at the empty milk
pails, the hay bales, a small bird flying in the rafters. It
feels empty without the women here. He sings “California
Dreaming”, faintly to himself.
Green Rev. (07/03/21) 37A.
He hears a gentle clatter, as the Women all make their way
back up the ladder, with food baskets. They take their
places, murmuring to each other, serving each other food and
instant coffee.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 38.
Neitje slowly and subtly opens the large barn doors facing
East. A few of the women notice and give her a curious look.
Mariche has brought with her a pair of men’s overalls to
mend. Salome looks around, as she and Mejal serve coffee to
the group. Ona brings coffee to August.
SALOME
Where is Autje?
Neitje shrugs silently and sits down.
AGATA
Well. We must begin without her.
Salome looks at Mejal, who sits beside her.
SALOME
Were you smoking?
MEJAL
Is that any of your business?
GRETA
Please.
AGATA
We must decide this afternoon about
staying or leaving.
Suddenly, Autje climbs the ladder. We hear HYSTERICAL MOANS
before we see Autje appear at the top of the ladder.
AUTJE
I can’t live a second longer! Life
is too cruel!
Autje sways and moans, then runs to the window and FLINGS
HERSELF OUT THE WINDOW, headfirst.
The WOMEN SCREAM. They all sprint and hobble to the window,
to find Autje sitting placidly atop a stack of hay bales on a
flatbed truck which has been positioned just under the
window. Neitje laughs uncontrollably.
MARICHE
Autje! Wait until I get ahold of
you!
GRETA
I could have had a heart attack!
Ona laughs hard in appreciation while the others shake their
heads and strive to contain any sign of approval.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 38A.
Mejal tries hard to contain her laughter but keeps
sputtering, which makes Ona and the younger women laugh even
harder. Mariche does not look amused.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 39.
When it dies down, Autje, looks around at all of the women,
her face serious.
AUTJE
Excuse me. Excuse me. The Census
taker just told us that one of our
men is planning to return late
tonight. He is coming to get some
old horses to auction.
GRETA
Ruth and Cheryl!
NEITJE
They need more bail money for the
attackers.
Greta lifts her arms into the air. She stumbles back to her
seat. Agata sharpens her gaze. They all clamber hastily back
to their seats for the meeting. Autje climbs back up into the
hayloft and takes her seat as well.
MARICHE
Tonight?
Autje nods.
MARICHE (CONT'D)
Which man?
AUTJE NEITJE
Father. Your Klaas.
Mariche makes the smallest of small sounds.
MARICHE
(quietly, trying to absorb
this)
Oh.
AGATA
So. Time is of the essence.
Everyone get back to your seats.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 40.
The Women ALL TALK AT ONCE, in an uproar. August struggles to
write, to keep notes of all they are saying in the din of
noise. Ona looks at August. He looks down at what he has
written. It says “Talking at once. All talking at once.” He
clears his throat, out of nervousness. Mariche glares at him.
MARICHE
Are you trying to call us to order?
AUGUST
No. No. Please forgive me.
MARICHE
Why are you here? Why is my
presence questioned when there is a
man-
GRETA
Pros for leaving:
August writes “LEAVING” on the brown paper. Neitje and Autje
post up what he has written so far. Neitje adds more
illustrations of the women, the men, the boys. Autje puts up
her hand.
MEJAL
(half-heartedly)
We will be gone?
GRETA
We will be safe.
MARICHE
Perhaps not. But the first is most
definitely a fact, that if we leave
we will be gone.
Mariche looks around at the group.
MARICHE (CONT'D)
Do we really have time to state the
obvious over and over?
Mejal rolls her eyes.
GRETA
Add to the list this: We will not
be asked to forgive the men,
because we will not be here to hear
the question.
AGATA
Yes. Autje?
Pink Rev. (06/21/21) 41.
AUTJE
We will see a bit of the world?
There is silence. August, seeing no one else is speaking,
begins to write on a new piece of paper. Neitje and Autje get
back to rebraiding their hair together.
AUGUST
Let’s move on to the Cons of
Leaving.
MARICHE
We, the women, will decide what
happens in these meetings. Not a
two-bit failed farmer who must
teach. You have been invited here.
You have been invited here to
listen to what we have to say and
to write it down. Nothing more.
Just. Listen.
Greta erupts. She stands up, shouting.
GRETA
Mariche! Klaas is returning soon
and you are wasting time! Klaas
will return to your home for just
long enough to take his animals in
order to sell for bail money that
will see the rapists return to the
colony and he will lay his hands on
you and on your children, and you,
as always, do nothing but fire
away at us all like a Gatling gun
with your misdirected rage. What
good does that do?
The Women are silent. Mariche is shaking, staring at her
mother.
AUGUST
I would like to apologize for
wrongly attempting to nudge the
proceedings. That is not my place.
The Women say nothing. Mejal, watching August, lets out a
burst of laughter.
GRETA
Mejal!
MEJAL
I’ll stop.
NEITJE
We don’t have a map. We don’t know
where to go.
Autje and Neitje sway back and forth, a gentle tug of war
with the braid that connects them.
AUTJE
(laughing)
We don’t even know where we are!
The girls laugh together.
Miep, Salome’s daughter, climbs up the ladder to the loft.
Greta turns to Neitje and Autje.
GRETA
Hush. Put your hair away.
The girls untangle their braids. Miep looks frightened and
goes to her mother. She snuggles in to her.
MIEP
I hurt.
Agata watches Miep, trying to contain her grief. August looks
down. Salome holds Miep and strokes her hair, whispering to
her, kissing her. Miep has buried her face in her mothers
lap. We hear, but don’t see her cry. Ona puts her arm around
Salome’s shoulder as she holds Miep.
GRETA
(watching Miep, almost to
herself)
There are no Cons of Leaving.
Ona looks up at Greta, then back down to Miep, and nods
gently. Neitje draws a picture of Miep sleeping on the
butcher paper, beneath August’s words.
Nettie/Melvin climbs the ladder and appears. She mimes that
he is sorry for the interruption.
AGATA
Not to worry, Nettie.
Agata begins to sing “Children of the Heavenly Father” and
the other women join in. Autje and Neitje roll their eyes as
the other women’s voices soar. Miep snuggles into her mother.
Ona smiles at August. He smiles back. August looks down,
closes his eyes, and listens to their voices.
Blue Rev. (05/31/21) 43.
He stares at Miep, who is drifting to sleep as the singing
drifts to humming.
MARICHE
If we do leave the colony, how will
we live with the pain of not seeing
our brothers and our sons again?
The men?
FLASHBACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 27 - Unspoken Bonds
August looks out at the faces of his students, his young men.
Some look up at him attentively. Some laugh and roll their
eyes at him. We track along their faces, slowly, getting to
know the pores of the skin of each one of these young boys.
GRETA (V.O.)
Time will heal. Our freedom and
safety are the ultimate goals, and
it is men who prevent us from
achieving those goals.
MARICHE (V.O.)
But not all men.
ONA (V.O.)
Perhaps not men, but a way of
seeing the world, and us women,
that has been allowed to take hold
of men’s hearts and minds.
NEITJE (V.O.)
So if we leave... if we leave... I
will never see my brothers again?
AUTJE (V.O.)
Who will take care of them? Of them
all?
CUT BACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 28 - Fading Hopes in the Hayloft
Neitje and Autje look suddenly full of grief. This hangs in
the air. They are all lost in their own thoughts. Miep lies
sleeping in Salome’s arms.
Double Pink Rev. (08/16/21) 44.
GRETA
We can’t know if we will stay or
leave before we resolve these last-
minute concerns.
ONA
I wouldn’t call the future of our
relationships with the boys and men
we love “last-minute concerns.”
Ona glances in August’s direction. He catches it. He looks
out the window, at the sun getting lower in the sky. Cows can
be heard, mooing in the distance. Dogs are barking for their
dinner.
The women watch Miep as she falls asleep in Salome’s arms. We
hold close on each woman’s face, watching Miep sleep, and we
feel the lowering light move across each of their faces.
Neitje draws pictures of the boys on the packing paper. The
light dims over the images as she draws them.
47 EXT FIELD - MAGIC HOUR 47 *
We see the sun lower in the sky. We hear a cow moo. We hear *
dogs bark. *
Ratings
Scene 29 - Tender Moments in the Hayloft
CLOSE ON: Miep sleeping. Melvin/Nettie gently picks her up,
out of Salome’s arms and takes her out of the hayloft. The
Women watch in silence as she is taken down the ladder.
ONA
I need some water.
She goes down the ladder and outside. August follows her,
awkwardly. The women watch in silence, and then laugh as soon
as he is down the ladder.
49 EXT. FIELD - MAGIC HOUR 49
Melvin/Nettie watches the children play while cradling Miep,
still sleeping, in his arms. He looks down at her, tenderly.
Ratings
Scene 30 - Determined Resolve
Ona vomits on her way to the pump, August following close
behind. He pumps water into a bucket, looks around for
something to pour it into.
Double Pink Rev. (08/16/21) 44A.
He cups water into his hands for her to drink from. She
pauses for a moment and then drinks from his hands. He takes
another scoop of water and she takes another drink. She wipes
her mouth and holds her stomach. Children play in the
background.
Blue Rev. (05/31/21) 45.
They stand close together, staring at each other in silence,
for a long time. Tears appear in August’s eyes. Ona quickly
wipes them off his cheek. August turns away, ashamed.
They are silent. Ona goes to speak and then stops herself.
She holds his gaze for a long time. She puts her hand lightly
on his face.
ONA
It’s good to have you with us,
August. To remind us of what is
possible. Because it’s easy to
forget.
Ona holds her stomach, feeling ill.
AUGUST
I am so sorry, Ona.
ONA
One day, I would like to hear those
words from someone who should be
saying them.
Ona looks out across the field towards where the children are
playing.
ONA (CONT'D)
Why does love... the absence of
love, the end of love, the need for
love, result in so much violence?
AUGUST
Ona.
Ona shakes her head.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
Ona. I could take care of you and
your child. I want to. I-
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 46.
He stops himself.
ONA
I know August. You don’t have to
say the words.
They are silent for a while.
ONA (CONT'D)
If I were married I would not be
myself. And so the person you love
would be gone.
AUGUST
Your child-
ONA
If we stay and don’t win the fight,
my child will be given to another
family here. Maybe even to the
family of my attacker. If we stay
and we don’t win the fight.
AUGUST
You won’t let that happen.
ONA
No. No I won’t.
August nods. Ona is silent for a long time, processing
something. August nods, understanding that she is coming to a
decision. Ona nods, and walks away, determination in her
steps.
Ratings
Scene 31 - Lanterns and Uncertainty
Shadows fall now, across the women’s faces. Agata and Salome
light lanterns. Neitje and Autje are still conjoined by the
hair. Neitje has drawn a picture of a woman leaving towards a
buggy and reaching out for her son who is behind her. August
and Ona enter.
GRETA
August. We want to discuss options
for the men and the older boys, if
the women decide to leave.
SALOME
Which is a waste of time because we
are not leaving.
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 47.
August takes up his pen and begins recording their
conversation.
MARICHE
The men should be allowed to leave
with the women if they wish.
Salome laughs. So does Mejal.
MEJAL
Then what on earth is the point of
us leaving?
GRETA
They could be allowed to join the
women later, when the women have
established themselves and are
thriving.
AUGUST
(writing it down)
Should we add, thriving as a
collective, literate community?
MARICHE
Literate is your word. Not ours. We
don’t need your university language
to make our plans.
August nods, continues to write.
AGATA
Put it in. We know what it means.
Continue.
GRETA
Young boys, simple minded boys of
any age, Cornelius who is confined
to a wheelchair, will accompany the
women.
August writes quickly. The Women stare at August, and at the
document that they can’t read.
MARICHE
I vote for the first option. They
should leave with us if they wish.
There is a din of noise as all The Women object to this.
Mariche crosses her arms.
Yellow Rev. (06/25/21) 48.
MEJAL
The first option is ridiculous and
should be crossed off the list.
Mejal rolls a cigarette between her fingers as she speaks.
MARICHE
Why are some ideas written down and
considered, and others crossed out?
MARICHE (CONT'D)
(to herself)
I want to leave.
She throws the dregs of her coffee to the floor.
MARICHE (CONT'D)
I’d like to strangle myself.
ONA
But Mariche, it’s possible that all
the men would choose to leave with
us. Then all we’d be doing is re-
creating our colony, with all of
its dangers elsewhere, wherever we
end up.
AGATA
And the men would most definitely
leave with us because they can’t
survive without us.
Greta laughs.
GRETA
Well, not for longer than a day or
two.
SALOME
There is no possibility of the men
leaving with us. Whatever we
decide. And we have not decided to
leave. I would like to remind
everyone of that.
Mejal is openly smoking now. Salome looks irritated. Mejal
makes a big show of waving the smoke away from Salome.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 49.
AGATA
Clearly these are unrealistic
ideas. And how are we to leave at
all if we have never been allowed
to even see a map of the world?
AUGUST
I can secure a world map for you.
The Women looked shocked.
AGATA
Where on earth would you get a map
August?
AUGUST
I also have a map of this specific
region.
GRETA
That will do. We aren’t planning to
travel the planet.
ONA
Perhaps we are. Did you know that
the migration period of butterflies
and dragonflies is so long that it
is often only the grandchildren who
arrive at the intended destination?
August watches Ona, admiringly. Autje and Neitje try to
suppress laughing at Ona. Mejal nods. Ona looks straight at
August now. Some of The Women nod and ponder this.
AUGUST
So. Yes, so.
The Women laugh.
ONA
Perhaps, if we went beyond where
the map shows us, we could create
our own map as we go.
Green Rev. (07/03/21) 50.
The Women turn their attention to her, mystified.
GRETA
Now that is a unique idea.
SALOME
So now you want to leave? Ona?
The sisters look at each other for a long moment.
Ona suddenly vomits into the milk pail beside her.
GRETA
Oh.
Agata brings her legs down from the milk pail they have been
resting upon and walks to Ona. She strokes her back and pulls
the loose strands of hair from her forehead into the
kerchief.
ONA
I’m fine.
Ona looks at Salome.
Mejal begins to breathe heavily. Her hand is on her chest.
GRETA
What now?
AGATA
Are you alright, Mejal?
Mejal nods her head vigorously.
SALOME
She’s having one of her episodes.
Salome goes to Mejal. She holds her hand and whispers softly
in her ear. Greta indicates to The Women to pray. The Women
bow their heads.
GRETA
Please, God. Restore Mejal’s
equilibrium.
Mejal rocks on her milk pail. Salome positions herself behind
her, ready to catch her as she tumbles off, her fall broken
by Salome’s arms. Mejal lies in the straw, her body quite
rigid. Salome lies down beside her and continues to whisper
inaudibly into her ear and to hold her.
FLASHBACK TO:
Green Rev. (07/03/21) 50A.
Ratings
Scene 32 - Echoes of Pain
ON MEJAL’S LOWER LEGS as she stands up out of bed. Blood
drips to the floor. ON MEJAL’S FACE as she looks down,
hearing the blood droplets hit the floor with what sounds
like a CRASH. Mejal is quiet for a long time. Then she begins
to scream, a primal, animal scream which continues over
Agata’s prayer.
AGATA (V.O.)
Almighty Father, in all humility
and supplication we ask Thee for
Thy abundant kindness this moment.
(MORE)
AGATA (V.O.) (CONT'D)
We beseech Thee, have mercy on our
sister Mejal.
CUT BACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 33 - Twilight Decisions
Salome continues to hold Mejal.
AGATA
Please, in your beneficence, heal
her. Please, we ask of Thee,
envelop her in your strength and
everlasting love, and please drive
out the sickness that afflicts her
now.
The Women continue to bow their heads, they are holding hands
now. Salome has discreetly covered Mejal’s ears. Salome looks
up at Ona.
SALOME
(whispering)
Take the cigarette out of her
pocket.
Ona reaches into Mejal’s pocket and fishes out a cigarette.
Mejal smells the smoke that Salome is putting underneath her
nose. She rouses. She takes a deep breath.
MEJAL
Alright. Help me up.
They help her back to her place at the table. They are all
silent for a while, watching Mejal closely, trying to
recalibrate.
AGATA
Praise be to God.
MARICHE
Why is it only Mejal who has these
sudden-
SALOME
Be quiet.
MARICHE
We were all attacked. Not all of us
draw so much attention to
ourselves.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 52.
MEJAL
Attention? What attention? I talk
less than all of you put together.
How have I offended you?
MARICHE
You have these “attacks.” You
smoke. Why? Why is it so much
harder for you than for us? We were
all attacked. All of us. And the
rest of us are all able to get
through a day without-
GRETA
We are wasting time by passing this
burden, this sack of stones, from
one to the next, by pushing our
pain away. We mustn’t do this. We
mustn’t play hot potato with our
pain. Let’s absorb it ourselves,
each of us. Let’s inhale it, let’s
digest it, let’s process it into
fuel.
Mejal opens her mouth, several times, to speak.
GRETA (CONT'D)
Speak, Mejal. We are listening.
MEJAL
They made us...they made us
disbelieve ourselves. That was
worse than...
They are all silent for a long time. Salome catches her own
tears and then Mejal’s. Mariche looks away. Salome kneels in
front of Mejal. She touches her hair, tenderly.
SALOME
Mejal?
GRETA
Perhaps Mejal’s episode was brought
on by the thought of us creating
our own map.
NEITJE
But I will draw it if we need-
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 53.
GRETA
Not a fear of the do-it-yourself
map making. But of what it means:
that we are masters of our own
destiny. That we would be setting
off into unknowable space.
AGATA
Yes. It makes sense that one would
panic.
Mejal blows smoke rings.
MEJAL
I am not panicking.
AGATA
Yes. But panic, in this case would
be understandable.
MEJAL
But I’m not.
ONA
Klaas, when he returns, may take
horses or livestock that we will
need along the way.
SALOME
Along the way? We’re not leaving.
You are changing your mind, Ona.
Ona takes a deep breath and looks at her sister.
ONA
I don’t believe that is a sin, is
it?
Salome puts her head in her hands.
MARICHE
How will we be forgiven for all
this?
(MORE)
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 54.
MARICHE (CONT'D)
How will we be forgiven if not by
the elders whom we have disobeyed
and who, if we leave, we will never
see again. It will leave us
unforgiven, with black hearts, and
unable to enter the kingdom of god.
GRETA
Perhaps there will be other elders
or men of God that will be able to
forgive us our sins. Ones we
haven’t met yet.
SALOME
We do not have to be forgiven by
the men of God for protecting our
children from the depraved actions
of vicious men who are often the
very same men we are meant to ask
for forgiveness! If God, in the
book of Matthew asks: Let the
children come to me and do not
hinder them, then mustn’t we
consider it a hindrance when our
children are attacked? If God is a
loving God He will forgive us
Himself. If God is a vengeful God
then He has created us in His
image. If God is omnipotent then
why has He not protected the women
and girls of this colony? I will
destroy any living thing that harms
my child. I will tear it limb from
limb, I will desecrate its body and
I will bury it alive. I will
challenge God on the spot to strike
me dead if I have sinned by
protecting my child from evil and
by destroying the evil that it may
not harm another! I will lie, I
will hunt I will kill and I will
dance on graves and burn forever in
hell before I allow another man to
satisfy his violent urges with the
body of my four-year-old child!
Ona moves to her sister and hugs her.
AGATA
(softly)
No. Not dancing. Not desecration.
Mejal goes to Salome and takes her in her arms. Neitje draws
Salome, dancing on a grave.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 55.
MEJAL
Salome.
She holds out her cigarette, for Salome to take a drag.
AGATA
I suggest that we think of what is
good. “Whatever is true, whatever
is honourable, whatever is just,
whatever is pure, whatever is
pleasing, whatever is commendable,
if there is any excellence and if
there is anything worthy of praise,
think about these things... and the
peace of God be with you.”
The women bow their heads and say the words along with Agata.
Salome stays quiet, thinking intently and breathing hard.
THE WOMEN
Whatever is true, whatever is
honourable, whatever is just,
whatever is pure, whatever is
pleasing, whatever is commendable,
if there is anything worthy of
praise, think about these things...
and the peace of God be with you.
Salome looks at her mother, vulnerable.
SALOME
I will become a murderer if I stay.
What is worse than that?
Agata nods. There is silence for a long time as the women
watch Salome closely. Agata gets up, she walks to the window,
stares out at the sunset. Salome looks down. Mariche paces.
The women recite the verse again, mostly to themselves. As
the women recite the verse, Ona walks over to where August
sits, writing to catch up. She peers over his shoulder. She
points at the letters.
ONA
I know what these are. These are
letters. But what are these?
AUGUST
They are commas. They signify a
short pause, or a breath, in the
text.
Ona smiles, then inhales.
Tan Rev. (07/29/21) 56.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
There is also a butterfly called
the comma.
ONA
Is that so?
Mariche rolls her eyes.
AUGUST
Yes. It’s called the comma because-
ONA
No. Let me guess. Because it flits
about from leaves to petals, only
briefly stopping on its way?
Because its journey is its story,
never stopping, only pausing, only
moving.
August smiles and nods. Ona punches the palm of her hand in
victory.
ONA (CONT'D)
Aha!
She goes back to her seat. Finally, Agata turns from the
window and walks slowly back to her seat.
AGATA
Salome, there is nothing worse than
being a murderer. If you will
become a murderer by staying in the
colony, side by side with the men
who are responsible for the attacks
then you must, to protect your own
soul and to qualify for entry to
heaven, leave the colony.
Mariche frowns.
MARICHE
We are not all murderers.
ONA
Not yet.
Ona looks at her mother.
Tan Rev. (07/29/21) 57.
AGATA
I have done what the verse from
Philippians instructed, which is to
think about what is good, what is
just, what is pure, and what is
excellent. And I have arrived at an
answer. Pacifism. Pacifism is good.
Any violence is unjustifiable.
By staying here, we women would be
betraying the central tenet of our
faith, which is pacifism, because
by staying we would knowingly be
placing ourselves in a direct
collision course with violence,
either by us or against us.
Agata holds back tears.
AGATA (CONT'D)
This colony is the only home I’ve
ever known, and I don’t want to
leave. But by staying, we would be
inviting harm. We would be in a
state of war. We would turn this
colony into a battlefield.
ONA
We cannot become murderers. And we
cannot endure any more violence.
That is why we must leave.
All the women watch Salome as she nods her head gently. Greta
raises her arms. Mariche makes a noise of objection. Mejal
takes a long haul off her cigarette. She exhales and nods.
MEJAL
Let’s shake a leg, then.
Ona suddenly feels a kick, which startles her. She puts her
hand to her belly. Mariche looks up.
ONA
I’m also thinking about the verse
from Philippians and I’m thinking
about what is good. Freedom is
good. It’s better than slavery. And
forgiveness is good. Better than
revenge. And hope for the unknown
is good, better than hatred of the
familiar.
MARICHE
What about security and safety and
home and family?
(MORE)
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 58.
MARICHE (CONT'D)
What about marriage and love?
ONA
I don’t know about those things,
any of them. Except for love. And
even love is mysterious to me. And
I believe that my home is with my
mother, with my sister and with my
unborn child, wherever they may be.
Ona touches her belly, lightly. Mariche stares at Ona’s
pregnant belly.
MARICHE
Will you not hate that child? That
child is the child of a man who
inspires violent thoughts in you.
FLASHBACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 34 - Reflections of Forgiveness
Ona wakes up, she can barely move her arms and legs. She
looks down, sees blood stains on the bed. A din like a roar
again.
ONA
Mother! Again!
Agata rushes in. She looks around at the bed, and clasps Ona
to her.
ONA (V.O.)
I already love this child more than
anything.
CUT BACK TO:
55 INT. HAYLOFT - TWILIGHT 55
Ona speaks clearly and calmly.
ONA
He or she is as innocent and
lovable as the evening sun.
And so too was the child’s father
when he was born.
Agata makes a small noise.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 59.
ONA (CONT'D)
Are you crying?
Agata shakes her head. Salome looks at her closely. Salome
strokes her head.
MARICHE
(to Ona)
If you are saying that forgiveness
is better than revenge, aren’t you
saying that we must stay here and
forgive the men?
ONA
We cannot forgive because we are
forced to. But if there is
distance, perhaps I can begin to
understand how these crimes may
have occurred. And maybe from that
distance, I can pity these men, and
perhaps forgive them. And even love
them.
A moment of silence as they absorb what Ona has said.
AGATA
And so we must leave in order to
have that distance.
ONA
Not fighting. But moving on. Always
moving. Never fighting. Just
moving...
Ona seems to be in some kind of trance.
MARICHE
Snap out of it.
SALOME
You snap out of it, Mariche.
MEJAL
All of you snap out of it and
focus. Have you lost your minds?
The sun is gone.
Mejal jabs at the window, at the darkening sky outside. They
stare for a moment at the coming night.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 60.
GRETA
I want to tell another story about
Ruth and Cheryl.
Several of The Women groan. Neitje and Autje fall backwards
in boredom.
CUT TO:
56 EXT ROAD - MORNING 56
We see Greta looking far down the road in front of her,
driving her horses forward as she rides in the buggy. TIGHT
ON the back of the HORSE’S HEADS, we see their direction
moving erratically, then finding focus and going straight as
Greta speaks.
GRETA (V.O.)
I was always frightened of the
northern road out of the colony. So
many gullies on either side of the
road that are so deep. And it’s so
narrow. The buggy used to lurch
side to side. Ruth and Cheryl were
simply following my commands on the
reins but they were jerky and
frenetic. It was dangerous. It was
only when I learned to focus my
gaze far down ahead of me, down the
road, and not on the road
immediately in front of Ruth and
Cheryl that I started to feel safe.
The buggy goes by the camera, we CRANE UP to see Greta
getting smaller and smaller, disappearing into the distance,
the sun setting over the colony.
GRETA (V.O.)
Leaving will give us the more far-
seeing perspective we need to
forgive.
Ratings
Scene 35 - Morning Joy: A Grandmother's Love
Greta sits with her one year old grandchild on her lap,
feeding her porridge. Every now and then she gives her a
little jostle, making her laugh uproariously.
GRETA (V.O.)
Which is to love properly, and to
keep the peace, according to our
faith.
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 61.
58 INT. GRETA’S KITCHEN - MORNING 58
Greta plays a hide and seek game with her granddaughter,
getting down on all fours and hiding behind doorways. Greta
is childlike, magical to her granddaughter.
GRETA (V.O.)
Therefore, our leaving wouldn’t be
an act of cowardice or abandonment.
It wouldn’t be because we were
excommunicated or exiled. It would
be a supreme act of faith, a step
towards love and forgiveness.
CUT BACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 36 - Twilight Decisions
The Women are silent, considering this. Neitje draws a buggy,
way in the distance.
GRETA
Leaving is how we demonstrate our
faith. We are leaving because our
faith is stronger than the rules.
Bigger than our life.
This hangs in the air.
Greta grimaces and moves her hand slowly in front of her
face.
GRETA (CONT'D)
I am sorry. But I think I might be
dying.
Some of The Women rise, in alarm, from their seats. Mejal
looks directly into Greta’s eyes. She laughs. She removes
Greta’s eyeglasses and shows them to the group.
MEJAL
Mother. You are not dying. Your
glasses need cleaning.
Greta laughs, relieved. Mejal cleans her glasses on her dress
and hands them back to her.
GRETA
I thought the lights were going
out.
Buff Rev. (07/10/21) 62.
Agata hoots. The Women, other than Mariche, laugh and laugh.
Agata struggles for breath. Autje posts the picture of Ona
and her baby on the wall.
MARICHE
What are you laughing at? We can’t
leave. It would be better to stay
and fight than leave.
ONA
Do you really mean that you want to
stay and NOT fight? Because when
was the last time you had the
strength to stand up to the
aggression of Klaas, to protect
your children, or to get out of
harm’s way?
Mariche is enraged. She rises, ignoring Salome and looking at
Ona.
MARICHE
Who are you to tell me what kind of
wife and mother to be when you are
neither one yourself? You are a
spinster, a lunatic! A whore! An
unwed mother!
August writes as fast as he can, nervously watching Ona.
Salome rises from her milk bucket.
SALOME
Ona was made unconscious and raped
like the rest of us and now is
pregnant as a result! How dare you
call her a whore! Mariche, are you
not afraid your own sweet boys will
become monsters like their father
because you do nothing to protect
them or yourself-
AUTJE
(softly)
Stop.
SALOME
(Continuing without
stopping)
Nothing to educate them, nothing to
teach them the horror of their
father’s ways, the sickness...
Buff Rev. (07/10/21) 62A.
AGATA
Now. I. Have. Heard. Enough! Are
you women not aware that we are
talking about leaving? We are a
large group.
(MORE)
Buff Rev. (07/10/21) 63.
AGATA (CONT'D)
Many things can go wrong and our
time is fleeting! For the love of
our Lord Jesus Christ and precious
Saviour will you shut your
pieholes, please!
Greta lets out an involuntary laugh. Mariche turns to face
Ona.
MARICHE
How dare you pass judgement on me.
Ona meets Mariche’s gaze.
ONA
It wasn’t judgement. It was a
question.
Agata leans over to whisper to Ona.
ONA (CONT'D)
I am sorry, Mariche. I am sorry
that what I said hurt you.
MARICHE
Fuck it off.
Mejal laughs.
GRETA
Sit down Mariche.
Mejal and Salome share a cigarette. Agata continues to stroke
Salome’s arms and hair.
NEITJE
(whispering)
It’s “fuck off” I think.
The others nod in agreement. Autje and Neitje laugh. Neitje
draws Mariche yelling at Ona, pointing a finger.
ONA
I am sorry. I am saying sorry, not
just to leave the hurt behind, but
because I feel, truly, that I
should not have said something
harmful.
Buff Rev. (07/10/21) 64.
Mariche watches her, somewhat calmed, but still guarded and
waiting to pounce.
ONA (CONT'D)
And Mariche. I am sorry because you
don’t need or deserve more harm.
MARICHE
Who are any of you to pretend I
have had a choice?
Mariche notices Autje, who is watching her carefully.
Autje nods, softly.
GRETA
I am also sorry Mariche.
Mariche looks up at her mother, quickly, startled.
GRETA (CONT'D)
Because, Mariche. I couldn’t - I
didn’t try to protect you or your
children from Klaas. All this time.
And what you say is true. You had
no choice. You forgave him, again
and again, as you were told to. As
I told you to.
Mariche sits down, taking in her mother’s words. She looks
around at the group. Salome looks up at her, quickly, then
looks away, nodding in agreement with Greta, tears in her
eyes. Mariche speaks softly, almost to herself.
MARICHE
It is not only the men and boys who
have been excellent students.
Mariche takes the overalls she has been sewing, off her lap,
and puts them to the side.
SALOME
Yes. All of us have been infected
by a poisoned way of thinking.
MARICHE
And so you have judged me. For what
I have endured.
Agata nods gently, looking at her. Autje comes over to
Mariche and sits on the floor beside her, puts her head in
her lap. Mariche touches her hair, softly.
Buff Rev. (07/10/21) 64A.
AGATA
I think, Mariche... I think that we
are all very sorry. What you have
been required to endure with your
violent husband was a...
Double Pink Rev. (08/16/21) 65.
GRETA
A misuse of forgiveness.
MEJAL
Is there such a thing? Is there a
forgiveness that is not good?
AGATA
Perhaps forgiveness can, in some
instances, be confused with
permission.
Mariche looks up to see her. Mejal touches Mariche’s hand.
Seeing their acknowledgement, something in Mariche softens.
She puts her head down. She appears to be breathing fully,
for the first time. She stares at the floor.
ONA
Perhaps it will also be a difficult
task to forgive each other, and
ourselves, after all that has
happened.
Mariche nods at her mother, tears in her eyes. Greta holds
Mariche close.
Suddenly Nettie/Melvin, climbs the ladder holding Julius
Reimer, Mariche’s son, (5 years old). He looks stunned and *
upset.
GRETA
What in heaven’s name?
Nettie/Melvin thrusts Julius into Mariche’s lap. He points at
the boy’s nose, gesticulating, expressing bewilderment.
AGATA
Nettie. Please. Be reasonable. Make
an exception and tell us what is
happening. There are only women in
this loft. Nettie!
August remains very still. Nettie/Melvin is silent, pondering
the request. Julius turns his face into Mariche’s chest and
howls.
MARICHE
(urgently)
What has happened to him?
Julius points to his nose.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 66.
AGATA
Nettie. Be realistic. What has
happened to Julius? Please! Just
speak this once!
JULIUS
My nose. There is a cherry pit in
my nose!
Mariche presses on one of Julius’ nostrils.
MARICHE
Blow. Now. Blow, Julius.
Julius blows the cherry pit out and Mariche runs her fingers
down his nose and the cherry pit comes out. Ona inserts two
fingers into her mouth and whistles. The Women stop talking
and look at her.
ONA
If Julius has put a cherry pit up
his nose it means he has been
eating cherries or he has, at
least, been near cherries.
The Women look at her, silently, a realization dawning.
ONA (CONT'D)
We have no cherries in the colony.
MARICHE
(realizing)
Klaas sometimes brings them back
from the city.
AGATA
Who gave you the cherries? Julius!
JULIUS
Papa.
MARICHE
Papa is home now?
JULIUS
No. I saw him out on the road. He’s
collecting animals.
Mariche looks pale. She looks up at Melvin/Nettie who nods.
Agata steadies her gaze and is still. Salome rushes to the
window, cursing.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 66A.
MARICHE
(to Julius)
If you see him again you can tell
him that we are all quilting.
JULIUS
Isn’t that lying?
MARICHE
No. It’s... something else. Go now.
Go with Nettie.
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 67.
Julius nods. Melvin takes Julius’ hand and takes him down the
ladder.
GRETA
Have we made a decision? Are we
leaving?
She looks at each woman, and they each, silently, in their
own way, agree. Mariche is still.
AUTJE
Yes.
GRETA
We are leaving because-
AUTJE
We know why we are leaving. We are
leaving because we cannot stay.
Everyone looks at Autje, taking this in. Mariche beckons to
Autje. Autje sits beside her and Mariche puts her arm around
her.
NEITJE
What happens when we become hungry?
Or afraid?
ONA
We are not animals. Hunger and fear
cannot be our guide.
MEJAL
Should we not have more perspective
than animals?
AGATA
Animals have perspective. Remember?
The dragonflies? They set out
knowing that they will not see the
end of their journey but their
children will.
MEJAL
Please for the love of Joshua
Judges Ruth can we start talking
practically!
Agata smiles and twists her body from side to side in
delight.
AGATA
I like that. “For the love of
Joshua Judges Ruth.”
Salmon Rev. (07/08/21) 67A.
GRETA
We will take young boys under
twelve with us. And we will allow
the men to join the women later,
under certain conditions.
AUTJE
I like it.
NEITJE
Me too.
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 68.
Salome shakes her head, alarmed. Greta smiles at the young
women, who look sad.
GRETA
Would everyone agree to this now,
knowing that our minds may change
in the future?
ONA
No. Not yet.
Salome presses her index fingers into the corners of her
eyes, trying to push back the tears.
SALOME
We can’t leave.
AGATA
Aaron. I know.
SALOME
He is just over twelve. Just
barely.
FLASHBACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 37 - Playful Beginnings, Somber Reflections
Salome leads Aaron home. He jumps up on a fence. He takes a
few steps. Salome watches him from a distance as he hops
down. She sneaks up behind him, then grabs his waist and
screams. He laughs, startled, pretends to be annoyed.
GRETA (V.O.)
The sadness of leaving Aaron behind
for the time being will only spur
us all, all of us grieving mothers,
to rebuild a new and better colony
for everyone.
CUT BACK TO:
61 INT. HAYLOFT - MAGIC HOUR 61
Agata puts her arm around Salome’s shoulders. Mejal crosses
to Salome’s side, tears falling. She puts her arms around
Salome. They are silent for a while.
SALOME
Why are boys aged thirteen and
fourteen left behind? Why wouldn’t
they leave with us?
Tan Rev. (07/29/21) 69.
AGATA
Surely we can’t be afraid of boys
of this age? Why couldn’t they join
us if we leave?
Ona looks at August.
ONA
August. You’re the boys teacher.
What is your feeling about this? Do
boys of this age pose a threat to
our girls and women?
August stops transcribing. He puts his pen down and thinks.
AUGUST
Yes. Possibly. Every one of us,
male or female, poses a potential
threat. Thirteen and fourteen-year-
old boys are capable of causing
great damage to girls and women,
and to each other.
CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 38 - The Reckless Joy of Youth
As we hear August’s voice, we see the boys of the schoolhouse
racing. They scrum around the victor, and shove each other -
at first playfully and then more aggressively.
AUGUST (V.O.)
It is a brash age. They are
possessed of reckless urges,
physical exuberance, intense
curiosity that often results in
injury, unbridled emotion,
including deep tenderness and
empathy, and not quite enough
experience or brain development to
fully understand or appreciate the
consequences of their actions or
words. They are similar to the
yearlings; young, awkward, gleeful,
powerful. They are tall, muscular,
sexually inquisitive creatures with
little impulse control, but they
are children. They are children and
they can be taught.
(MORE)
Blue Rev. (05/31/21) 70.
AUGUST (V.O.) (CONT'D)
I’m a two-bit schoolteacher, a
failed farmer, an effeminate man,
and above all, a believer.
Ratings
Scene 39 - Awkward Affection
We are close on Aaron. He looks into the camera, staring
silently, inscrutable. Two smaller children play in the
background.
AUGUST (V.O.)
I believe that with direction, firm
love and patience these boys are
capable of relearning their roles
as males in the colony. I believe
in what the great poet Samuel
Taylor Coleridge thought were the
cardinal rules of early education.
“To work by love and so generate
love. To habituate the mind to
intellectual accuracy and truth. To
excite imaginative power.” He said
“Little is taught by contest or
dispute, everything by sympathy and
love.”
We now see Salome, sitting across the table from Aaron,
looking at him tenderly. She puts her hand on his cheek. He
moves away, embarrassed. He smiles at her awkwardly, then
gets up and leaves her there, the table shining clean in
front of her.
CUT BACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 40 - Urgency in the Hayloft
Neitje has drawn pictures of the boys next to August’s
writing. In some of the illustrations they do work, in some
they are violent, in some they study at school.
AUGUST
I believe those boys should be
allowed to leave with the women,
providing the women choose to
leave.
MARICHE
It was a yes or no question.You
shit like any other man, why don’t
you talk like one?
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 71.
Mejal laughs. Mariche catches herself, shakes her head and
smiles.
MARICHE (CONT'D)
Sorry.
SALOME
I won’t leave Aaron.
AGATA
I would like to make a proposal. We
must protect all of our children.
Not only our daughters. All boys
under the age of fifteen, and the
ones that require special care must
accompany the women.
SALOME
How do you mean must?
ONA
What if they refuse? If they don’t
want to leave?
MARICHE
We can’t carry teenagers on our
backs.
AGATA
We will try to influence our sons.
But we cannot force them, and they
may refuse, it is true.
NEITJE
But that would be very sad.
AGATA
Let’s talk about our sadness after
we have nailed down our plan.
August, you would stay here to
teach the boys who remain?
August nods. Ona looks at August. They share a long moment in
silence. Agata watches them watching each other.
NEITJE
What’s the point in trying to teach
them? Fifteen-year-old boys still
believe that throwing horse turds
at the girls while we do the
milking shows their love.
Autje laughs.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 72.
AUTJE
But a boy who truly loves you will
intentionally miss when he throws
the shit, or not throw it with
quite as much force.
Mejal and Salome shake their heads.
SALOME
My most hopeful dream for my four
year old girl is that one happy day
a boy will intentionally miss
hitting her with a clump of shit.
MEJAL
Yes. The day every mother dreams
of, the hope that gets us through
the darkest hours.
Autje glances out the east door. She suddenly gets up and
goes to it.
AUTJE
He’s here.
Mariche looks as though she will be sick.
MARICHE
Klaas.
The other women rush to the east door. They see, in the
distance, Klaas, leading two horses, walking away from them.
GRETA
He has Ruth and Cheryl!
They move to hide themselves away from the windows until he
is out of sight.
AGATA
Everyone, back to your houses. Go
collect your children, and pack up.
August, get the map. Greta and I
will pack the food supplies. If
anyone asks, we were quilting here.
Neitje and Autje are the first to scramble down the ladder.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 73.
AGATA (CONT'D)
Neitje and Autje! You must run now
to every house and tell the women,
we are leaving!
SALOME
Tell them to bring everything they
can. We will assemble outside the
washhouse!
Neitje and Autje stand at the bottom of the ladder, looking
paralyzed by the awesome responsibility.
SALOME (CONT'D)
And pin up your hair!
They begin putting up the braids they have left down since
having them tied together, and run off.
Ratings
Scene 41 - Twilight Tensions
A YOUNG WOMAN hangs out of a hammock, asleep on the porch
floor, her legs suspended by the hammock. Another, a MIDDLE
AGED WOMAN lies on the porch chair, also asleep. A TEENAGER
sleeps on the floor. Neitje and Autje kneel down beside them,
waking each of them up, gently, talking to them. They are
bleary eyed and don’t seem interested in what she has to say.
MEJAL (O.S.)
I am worried about the women who
have voted to do nothing. If Klaas,
or any other man has returned,
there is a high risk that these
women will inform them that we are
plotting.
66 INT. SEWING ROOM - TWILIGHT 66
Neitje and Autje approach Scarface Janz, who is sewing in the
corner, A GROUP OF WOMEN, including Anna and Helena, working
on various projects in chairs or tables in the room. The
other women nod as Neitje speaks to them. Scarface Janz
stares at her, shaking her head, almost imperceptibly. There
is an endless silence.
Blue Rev. (05/31/21) 74.
ONA (O.S.)
We must have faith that the Do
Nothing women will not inform on
us.
AUGUST (O.S.)
But some, like Scarface Janz,
believe that to fight or to leave
is a sin. What about her?
ONA (O.S.)
What about her, August?
Before Neitje has finished speaking, Scarface Janz goes back
to sewing, turning her back to Neitje. Neitje eyes her
nervously.
AUGUST (O.S.)
Do you have faith in her?
CUT BACK TO:
Ratings
Scene 42 - Faith and Family in the Twilight
We stay on Ona’s face for a long time, as she considers the
question.
ONA
I must have faith in all of us,
right now.
August nods. Greta, as she heads for the ladder, looks at
Mariche.
GRETA
Mariche. Be careful.
Mariche nods lightly. Greta holds Mariche’s head to her
shoulder. They all clatter down the ladder.
Agata is a bit out of breath.
ONA
Breathe, mother.
Agata looks at Ona beneath her and laughs. She kisses the top
of Ona’s head.
ONA (CONT'D)
Breathe and slow down. You always
hold your breath when you’re
exerting yourself.
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 75.
Agata laughs again.
ONA (CONT'D)
Don’t laugh while you’re on the
ladder. Concentrate.
Agata calls out to the other women, below her and above her.
AGATA
We will have to get an early start
tomorrow morning. Let’s meet here
again at sunrise. All of us.
She goes down the ladder and leaves the barn quickly along
with the other women. August moves to the window and watches
them go across the North fields.
Ratings
Scene 43 - Twilight Tensions
Mariche collects her many children from the field. She is
subdued in her movements, watching each one of them closely.
She looks across the field and sees Klaas, beckoning to her
from the doorway of their house. Her shoulders slump. Greta
approaches her.
GRETA
Don’t go. Stay with me tonight. Or
I will go with you.
MARICHE
If I don’t go home, it will draw
attention to all of us. I must
behave as though everything isn’t
about to change.
She gives Greta a small smile. Mariche heads towards the
house.
GRETA
Mariche.
MARICHE
Go home, Mother. I will see you at
sunrise.
Mariche smiles faintly back at Greta, and gives her a soft
kiss. She leads the children home with a sense of dread.
Greta watches her go, concerned.
Buff Rev. (07/10/21) 76.
Ratings
Scene 44 - Whispers of Uncertainty
Neitje and Autje walk along the paths, stopping to talk to
women as they go. They speak under their breaths to each one
they pass.
NEITJE
An hour after sunrise. We
congregate on the road by the wash
house.
A group of women nod. One dark-haired woman pushing a boy in
a wheelchair, responds.
DARK-HAIRED WOMAN
Do we bring-
AUTJE
Everything. Bring everything.
CORNELIUS
Why?
They look scared.
Ratings
Scene 45 - The Weight of Responsibility
They pass another group of women with children.
AUTJE
We meet an hour after sunrise. On
this road. We need your buggy.
WOMAN
Thank you, sister.
They nod in solidarity. Autje nods back.
70 EXT. COLONY HOUSE - TWILIGHT 70
Neitje and Autje speak to Clara (20’s) in her doorway, her
children running around behind her.
NEITJE
An hour after sunrise we leave. We
meet behind the wash house.
AUTJE
And we need your buggies. Both of
them.
Clara catches her breath in her throat.
Buff Rev. (07/10/21) 76A.
CLARA
Tomorrow?
She looks behind her at her children, anxiously.
NEITJE
You will be there?
She nods, anxiously.
CLARA
I have so much to do.
She closes the door.
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 77.
Ratings
Scene 46 - Twilight Tensions
Salome has just finished speaking with Aaron about the plan.
Miep sits in her arms. Two of Salome’s other children (8, 10)
do chores and play in the background.) Aaron looks stunned.
Ona pats Aaron’s hand. He pulls it away.
SALOME
So. We will need your help. The
horses need to be brushed. Saddled.
Aaron nods, looking away.
MIEP
Mama. I’m hurting.
Salome looks down at Miep, covered in sweat. Salome speaks
quietly to Ona.
SALOME
The pills aren’t working. I think
they are for calves, not people.
ONA
But she is small. They’ll work.
SALOME
She is small. But she’s not a calf.
They focus on Miep, while Aaron gets up and leaves the table.
He stares out the window, furious.
72 OMITTED 72
73 OMITTED 73
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 78.
Ratings
Scene 47 - Tension in the Night
Autje and Neitje lead Ruth and Cheryl away from Mariche’s
house, looking nervously behind them.
A light turns on in Mariche’s house. Neitje and Autje freeze.
The light turns off again. Autje and Neitje continue leading
the horses away.
75 OMITTED 75
76 INT GRETA’S HOUSE- NIGHT 76
Agata, Greta and Mejal quickly load up barrels with cheese,
sausage, bread, flour, eggs and water.
76B INT. SALOME'S HOUSE - MIEP’S BEDROOM - NIGHT 76B
Salome tucks Miep into bed.
Ratings
Scene 48 - Navigating Hope
The moon is bright. Ona sits on the roof of the washhouse.
August walks by.
ONA
Psst! August!
He looks up. She laughs.
ONA (CONT'D)
Come. Sit with me.
August climbs up and joins her. He reaches into his satchel.
August nods.
AUGUST
Here is the map.
Ona unrolls it and stares at it, mesmerized.
ONA
Where are we?
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 79.
August points.
AUGUST
Here.
Ona stares at the spot on the map, puts her finger on it, and
smiles.
ONA
Here. This is where we are.
She stares at it, in awe.
AUGUST
I’ve created a legend.
Ona looks up at him, questioningly.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
For the map. I’ve drawn asterisks
on the map that coincide with
pictures in the legend.
ONA
What do the pictures show?
AUGUST
Rivers, roads, towns and cities and
borders, train tracks. See?
Ona nods her head. He points to the compass printed on the
map.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
This is north... south... east...
and west.
ONA
But the map moves. How do we know
which direction the map should be
facing?
AUGUST
Celestial navigation. Let me show
you.
She rolls up the map. August points to a constellation of
bright stars.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
Do you know of the Southern Cross?
Ona nods.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
You... and the women, can use the
Southern Cross for navigation. If
you clench your right fist like
this-
He takes her hand and shapes it into a fist. He holds it up
against the stars. Her arm is rigid, fist clenched, like a
freedom fighter.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
Now align your first knuckle with
the axis of the Cross.
He holds her hand, her wrist.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
Now. The tip of your thumb, here,
will indicate south.
Ona smiles, nodding, clapping her hands.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
Will you show the others?
Ona nods.
ONA
We will have a lesson in
navigation.
AUGUST
Ona.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 81.
Ona looks at him, smiling.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
Did you already know about this
little trick?
Ona laughs.
ONA
Of course. Of course I did.
August smiles, sheepishly.
AUGUST
I wish there was something I could
tell you that you didn’t already
know.
Ona smiles. They continue to look up at the stars. She
watches him for a while, tenderly.
ONA
What will become of you when we
leave?
August is silent.
ONA (CONT'D)
I hope... I hope that you can help
the boys. I hope that you can help
them to be truthful. And to listen.
Like you do.
She holds his hand for a long moment.
78 EXT. BARN - PRE-DAWN 78
August watches from the window as he sees the silhouette of
Ona teaching the other women how to find the Southern Cross
with her hands. He watches them, silently guiding each others
hands into position, the beginning of the light coming up
over the horizon behind them.
Ratings
Scene 49 - A Circle of Strength
August pins Neitje’s drawings to the wall around the butcher
paper lists. The Women start to emerge into the loft. Greta
paces, periodically going to the window to peer into the
dark. Her balance does not appear to be very good. Mejal
watches her.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 82.
SALOME
Where are Mariche and Autje?
GRETA
They will be here. I pray they will
be here.
Greta paces more.
MEJAL
(to Greta)
Concentrate on lifting your feet
higher when you take steps. Don’t
shuffle. You’ll trip again.
GRETA
I am very tired. My body is heavy.
Agata puts her feet into Ona’s lap and Ona rubs them. Ona
quietly sings “On the Old Rugged Cross.” Agata sings every
word or two, although she seems to be fighting for breath.
August watches Ona, and she watches him watching her. Salome
is braiding Neitje’s hair and tugging tightly.
NEITJE
Please. Please. Be gentle. You are
blinding me.
ONA
August. Did you dream last night?
August looks at her.
AUGUST
Yes.
Ona sings for a while. They stare at each other.
Mariche climbs the ladder to the loft. Autje is behind her,
helping her. Mariche’s face is bruised and cut and her arm is
in a sling fashioned from a feed bag. Autje has a bruise on
her cheek in the shape of four fingers and a thumb. Greta
rushes to Mariche, takes her in her arms. The rest of the
women are silent, having seen this before. Some look down.
Mariche and Autje sit down on a haybale. Mejal is shaking
with rage. She holds Autje tightly.
GRETA
Is he gone?
AUTJE
He’s sleeping. Dead to the world.
He was very drunk.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 82A.
The women stare at Autje, taking this in. Neitje goes to sit
beside Autje. She synchronizes her breathing with Autje’s.
They look ahead together. They are silent.
GRETA
(to Mariche)
Tell me what happened.
Mariche shakes her head.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 83.
AUTJE
Father caught me sneaking back into
the house, late and then he went to
the barn and found we had taken the
horses.
SALOME
Did you tell him what we were
planning?
Mariche nods. Salome puts her head in her hands.
AUTJE
She did. But it was because he
wouldn’t stop hitting me and she
was trying to distract him.
MARICHE
Yes. But I also told him because I
suddenly felt very...
The women take this in.
MARICHE (CONT'D)
I don’t think he believed me. And
if he did, I don’t think he’ll
remember. He’ll be passed out in
the barn all morning I’m sure.
She turns to Autje and Neitje.
AGATA
So. Yesterday was a day for
talking. Today is a day for action.
When Klaas wakes up he may go to
the city to alert the other men. We
have decided to leave before that
happens. Is that accurate?
The Women nod.
AGATA (CONT'D)
We have ruled out the option of
staying because-
MARICHE
I thought today was a day of
action, not talk.
The other women laugh watch Mariche closely, and are silent,
giving her space with her ravaged face this morning. We can
hear animals, lowing in the distance. There is a hint of
light in the sky.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 84.
MARICHE (CONT'D)
We have decided that we want...
that we are entitled to three
things.
GRETA
What are they?
Mariche looks on the wall at August’s notes and Neitje’s
drawings. She stares at a drawing Neitje has made of
children, playing.
MARICHE
We want our children to be safe.
Mariche has begun to cry softly, and is finding it difficult
to speak. She looks up at a drawing on the wall of a woman
kneeling in prayer.
MARICHE (CONT'D)
We want to be steadfast in our
faith.
She looks up at a drawing of a woman looking off, a book in
her lap.
MARICHE (CONT'D)
We want to think.
GRETA
Yes.
Mariche looks down, trying to stop the tears so that she can
continue speaking.
Agata claps her hands and holds them together in midair.
AGATA
Praise God.
Greta raises her arms above her head like a football
official. The older women look jubilant. Salome and Mejal
smile.
SALOME
Yes, that’s it.
MEJAL
Precisely.
SALOME
Well it’s not precisely put. But it
sounds perfect to me. A perfect
beginning.
MEJAL
Salome, will you use your last
breath on earth to correct me?
SALOME
Yes, if that is what is needed.
MEJAL
What if we feel guilt? What if it
overwhelms us?
AGATA
We will feel pain and we will feel
uncertainty and we will feel
sadness, but not guilt.
MARICHE
We may feel guilty but we will know
we are not guilty.
MEJAL
We may feel homicidal, but we will
know we are not killers.
ONA
We may feel vengeful, but we will
know we are not raccoons.
The other women laugh.
SALOME
We may feel lost, but we will know
we are not losers.
MEJAL
Speak for yourself.
SALOME
I always do. You should try it too.
Neitje places her hand gently on Autje’s cheek, over the
bruise.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 86.
AGATA
We may feel guilt and we may feel
sadness. But we will endure it.
We’re embarking on a journey. We
are making a change that we have
interpreted as being a testament to
our faith and to our instincts as
mothers. We must believe in it.
GRETA
We don’t know everything that will
happen. But we’ve made our plan.
And, yes, we must believe in it.
Agata holds Salome’s hand, who takes Neitje’s hand, who takes
Ona’s hand, who takes Mejal’s hand, who takes Neitje’s hand
who takes Autje’s hand who takes Mariche’s hand who takes
Greta’s hand who takes Mejal’s. Ona walks to August. She
takes August’s hand and leads him with her into the circle of
women. He stares at their hands, holding each other. Greta
begins to sing “Nearer, My God, to Thee.” Everyone joins in.
August cries.
Ratings
Scene 50 - The Distant Hymn
A GROUP OF WOMEN pulling their children along down a road,
hear the faint singing in the distance. They stop and look in
the direction it is coming from.
81 EXT. SCARFACE JANZ’ HOUSE - EARLY MORNING 81
Scarface Janz and her daughters stare at the Barn in the
distance, hearing the hymn. Anna, holding Helena’s hand,
makes a move to run towards the music of the barn. Scarface
Janz grabs her arm. Anna breathes heavily, in a panic.
Scarface Janz grabs her face with her free hand, and looks
deeply into her eyes, holding her there. Anna holds her
daughter’s hand, tightly, Helena’s face pointed towards the
direction the music is coming from.
82 EXT. FIELD - EARLY MORNING 82
Nettie/Melvin plays with the children in the field. He
motions to them “sssshhh.” They all stop and listen, looking
into the distance where the sound is coming from. Some of the
children, including Julius, sing. We stay on the faces of the
young children, listening to the singing, and singing lightly
along. Some of them keep playing, oblivious.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 87.
Ratings
Scene 51 - Tender Moments in the Hayloft
When they are finished singing, August raises his hand. Ona
smiles at him.
AGATA
You can speak whenever you want,
August, and you don’t have to raise
your hand. You’re the teacher!
She laughs. The others stare at him. Tears are rolling down
his cheeks. Autje and Neitje look mortified by his crying.
AUGUST
It’s alright. It wasn’t important.
AGATA
There is work to do. We must stop
talking and prepare to leave.
The Women’s expressions are stern, grim, desolate, and tight
with tension, but they nod in agreement.
There is suddenly the sound of someone climbing the ladder.
The Women hold their breaths. An OLD MAN, EARNEST PENNER
appears. He can barely walk. He is suffering from dementia.
Ona rushes to help him up the last few rungs.
ONA
Uncle Penner!
AGATA
Earnest!
He looks around at The Women, trying to get his bearings.
EARNEST
What are you doing here in my loft?
Are you angels? Are you lost? Will
you help me with my bath?
He is gasping for air, but also laughing in fits and starts.
Ona helps him to sit down on a hay bale.
EARNEST (CONT'D)
What are you bitches plotting?
Agata gets up and walks to Earnest and sits next to him on
the bale.
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 88.
AGATA
Oh, Earnest. My sweet cousin. We’re
getting old, aren’t we?
Earnest puts his head on her shoulder and she smooths his
wild, white hair.
EARNEST
Are you devils?
AGATA
No. We’re your friends.
EARNEST
Are you plotting to burn down my
barn?
AGATA
No, Ernie. There’s no plot. We’re
only women talking.
Ona goes to sit beside Earnest. She leans her head on his
shoulder. Silence. Earnest seems to ponder this. So do The
Women.
EARNEST
Will you help me with my bath?
Mejal moves towards Earnest, her hands outstretched.
MEJAL
Why don’t I take you back to your
house and give you a washing. I’ll
give you a bath and get you
something to eat.
AGATA
Will you make sure the water you
use to wash Earnest is warm, but
not hot, not scalding?
AGATA (CONT'D)
(whispering)
Be quick.
Mejal nods. She leads him slowly down the ladder. Agata gets
up and stands at the top of the ladder, her hands on her
hips, watching. She calls after them.
AGATA (CONT'D)
There is mint growing next to the
lower barn door!
(MORE)
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 89.
AGATA (CONT'D)
You could pick some of it and add
it to the warm water. Earnest would
love that!
Agata goes to the window and watches for a long while, as
Mejal and Earnest make their way back to Earnest’s house.
84 EXT. LOWER BARN DOOR - SUNRISE 84
CLOSE ON: Mint, lovingly picked. Mejal holds it under
Earnest’s nose, invites him to smell it. He smiles. He picks
some himself.
Ratings
Scene 52 - A New Dawn: Farewells and Hope
Agata still watches them in the distance, wondering, tears
streaming down her face.
SALOME
Mother?
AGATA
I’m just saying goodbye.
She wipes her tears, quickly away. She turns to The Women,
who are all watching her closely. Greta looks at her,
vulnerable.
GRETA
I’m nervous.
ONA
We’re all nervous. We can’t avoid
nervousness.
AUTJE
We hid Ruth and Cheryl for you.
They are ready to go.
GRETA
Ruth and Cheryl!!! Really??!!!
Greta runs over to Autje and kisses the girls.
GRETA (CONT'D)
Well, my girls.
MARICHE
We’ll head out, then.
GRETA
Yes. Let’s go.
Pink Rev. (06/21/21) 90.
SALOME
We’ll need to find guns, in case
anyone tries to stop us.
AGATA
No. We won’t have guns. We must
begin peacefully. As we mean to
continue.
Agata looks off, decisive. Salome suddenly looks frightened.
SALOME
We don’t know where we are going.
GRETA
We don’t. We can’t. But we must go
anyway.
Nettie/Melvin climbs the ladder. He stands there, silently in
front of the women.
AGATA
Are the children clean and ready?
Nettie/Melvin nods.
AGATA (CONT'D)
And their things are packed? They
are fed?
Nettie/Melvin nods again. Melvin goes to the window, to look
at the children, playing below. Agata follows him.
AGATA (CONT'D)
Thank you, Melvin.
Melvin smiles for the first time, hearing his name. He smiles
at the open window, staring at the sunlight.
MELVIN
Thank you. Thank you for saying my
name.
There are tears of joy in Melvin’s eyes.
AGATA
Melvin, are you ready for the
journey?
Melvin doesn’t answer. They wait.
MELVIN
No. I am not ready.
The Women are alarmed. Some open their mouths to speak.
MELVIN (CONT'D)
But I am coming with you.
They smile and sigh with relief.
GRETA
Yes, who of us can say we’re ready,
after all?
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 92.
MARICHE
I can.
AGATA
Melvin, please return to the
children and play a game with them
in the field next to the wash
house. That is where the other
women will find us, on their way
out of the colony.
SALOME
Has Aaron readied the horses for
us?
Melvin turns towards Salome and looks at her, warily. He
shakes his head.
MELVIN
No.
SALOME
What? Where is he?
Melvin shakes his head and shrugs. Salome takes Melvin’s arm.
SALOME (CONT'D)
Speak to me. Please. I won’t harm
you. I am not your enemy!
Melvin is frightened and backs away, towards the window.
AGATA
You must calm down, Salome. Aaron
will be found. Melvin. You are
safe.
SALOME
But we’re leaving soon. I’m not
leaving without him.
Salome climbs down the ladder, panicked. Melvin whispers at
the window.
Double Pink Rev. (08/16/21) 93.
AGATA
Salome! Come back!
They go to the window and watch Salome, running, her skirts
flying behind her, bent into the wind, kicking up dust.
ONA
Salome! Aaron will be found. He
will leave with us. I know he will!
Ona turns to Agata.
ONA (CONT'D)
But what if she doesn’t convince
Aaron?
Agata suddenly collapses onto her feed pail. Ona rushes to
her.
ONA (CONT'D)
Mother?
Agata doesn’t speak. The other women crowd around her. She *
smiles, eyes wide, nods her head, concentrates on her
breathing. They all wait. Greta prays. Ona and Greta each
hold one of Agata’s hands and synchronize their breathing.
Mariche and the young women are quiet, watching. Finally,
Agata raises herself up to standing.
AGATA
We are going to go now.
AUGUST
(not ready)
Now?
AGATA
Yes. Make a list, August.
AUGUST
A list of what?
AGATA
Of good things. Of memories, of
plans. Whatever you feel goes into
a good list; what we, the women,
would want there, please write it
down.
She laughs, her breath choppy and laboured.
Double Pink Rev. (08/16/21) 93A.
AGATA (CONT'D)
Thank you, August. For all you have
done. We are all so proud of you.
Your mother would be too.
AUGUST
I will make a list.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 94.
Tears stream down August’s face. The Women rise, ready to
leave. Agata is breathing very heavily now. Ona looks at her,
concerned.
GRETA
This will be a difficult trip.
AGATA
I’m aware of that. Today is the day
that the Lord hath made. Let us
rejoice and be glad in it!
She turns to Ona and says softly:
AGATA (CONT'D)
I won’t be buried in this colony.
Help me into a buggy now and I’ll
die on the trail.
Ona laughs but her eyes tear up. August is trying to keep
writing but he can’t stop crying. The Women help each other
down the ladder, in a chain. August watches them, especially
Ona. He moves quickly towards the ladder, to catch a glimpse
of her as she goes. Ona looks back at them.
ONA
(between sobs)
What about August?
August smiles and waves, unsure what to do with himself.
Agata is the last to climb down. August rises to his feet.
Agata turns to him and smiles.
AGATA
August, wouldn’t you marry my Ona?
August returns her smile.
AUGUST
I’ve asked her so many times.
AGATA
And she always said no?
Agata reaches up and pats August’s knee. He is towering over
her now. He bends to touch her shoulder. She puts her hand on
his.
AUGUST
Hang on with both hands.
Agata finishes going down the ladder.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 94A.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
What about Aaron?
But Agata has already walked away.
August walks over to the window. He sees the women walking
away into the distance. Ona is walking backwards, keeping her
eyes on him.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
Ona. I will always love you!
Ona laughs and cries and keeps walking backwards so she can
see him. She waves. She forces herself, finally, to turn
around. Agata, closer to the window looks up at August.
Pink Rev. (06/21/21) 95.
AGATA
And she loves you too, August.
She loves everyone.
August nods. Waves lightly.
Ratings
Scene 53 - Echoes of Desire
August sits alone, making a list. We travel along the words
and illustrations that have been posted on the walls, all
around him.
AUGUST (V.O.)
How will I live without these
women? My heart will stop. I will
try to teach the boys and men about
these women, about the new reality
of which they dream. I must make a
list. A list, from the Middle
English liste, meaning desire.
Which is also the origin of the
word “listen.”
August looks at the wall of notes, then begins to write.
Ratings
Scene 54 - Cycles of Life
The sun rises. We see beams of sun shining through trees,
light dancing on a pond.
Cherry Rev. (07/18/21) 96.
AGATA (V.O.)
Sun.
88 EXT. FIELD - NIGHT 88
We are staring up at the sky, the milky way.
NEITJE (V.O.)
Stars.
89 INT. BARN - DAY 89
A pail, sitting alone among discarded tools.
MIEP (V.O.)
Pails.
90 EXT. HOUSE - DAY 90
A newborn baby stares at the sky, adjusting to the light.
AUTJE (V.O.)
Birth.
Ratings
Scene 55 - Harvest of Innocence and Distress
A two-year old lies sleeping in a cart of cucumbers.
MARICHE (V.O.)
The Harvest.
92 INT. SCHOOLHOUSE - DAY 92
A boys hand writes down a math problem.
MEJAL (V.O.)
Numbers.
93 INT. BARN - MORNING 93
August continues to write his list.
ONA (V.O.)
Sounds. Window.
GRETA (V.O.)
Straw. Beams.
Green Rev. (07/03/21) 97.
94 INT. SALOME’S KITCHEN - MORNING 94
ON AARON’S FACE, tears streaming down. He looks at us,
sobbing. He shakes his head violently.
Suddenly, a SPRAY CAN comes into frame. He screams and drops
to the floor.
SALOME (V.O.)
Love.
Ratings
Scene 56 - Betrayal and Confrontation
Scarface Janz is walking quickly away from us, along a path.
SCARFACE JANZ
I will do what God commands me to
do. I will not lie for you.
Salome pushes her down to the ground. She holds out the can
and sprays in her face. Scarface Janz goes immediately
unconscious.
96 INT. KLAAS’ HORSE BARN - MORNING 96
We track along stalls in a barn. We pass a cow, then arrive
on Klaas, passed out in a stall on a bale of hay. He begins
to rouse. A hand comes into frame with a spray bottle and
sprays. We see Salome close the stall door and leave the
barn.
Ratings
Scene 57 - Struggles in the Wind
We see an image, similar to the one we saw near the
beginning. A group of women walk down a road. The wind picks
up. They try to hold onto their hats.
SALOME (V.O.)
Futility.
MELVIN (V.O.)
Language.
MIEP (V.O.)
Wind.
AGATA (V.O.)
Women.
Ratings
Scene 58 - A Bittersweet Farewell
August hears clambering on the ladder. Salome appears. She
takes an axe and a few other big tools from the tack room.
August looks at her, questioningly.
SALOME
We may need to protect ourselves.
AUGUST
Where is Aaron?
SALOME
He is in the buggy, waiting.
AUGUST
You convinced him to leave?
Salome doesn’t respond, hands him the spray can. August
stares at it.
SALOME
Here. You may need this. For
protection.
August’s eyes widen as he stares at the spray can and begins
to understand.
AUGUST
Did you have to-
SALOME
Yes. It’s just as though I had
picked up a sleeping child in the
night and carried him away from a
house that was on fire.
AUGUST
Is it?
SALOME
He’s coming with me. He’s my child.
August nods, looking unsure.
SALOME (CONT'D)
I broke the rules? I did. I broke
the new rules already. Maybe I’ve
broken everything. And we haven’t
yet begun. I sprayed Scarface Janz
also. She was planning to go to the
city to tell the men.
Goldenrod Rev. (07/09/21) 99.
AUGUST
Does she know how to get there?
SALOME
No, of course not.
AUGUST
So it was an idle threat.
SALOME
But I was afraid.
August nods.
SALOME (CONT'D)
Klaas too. But he wasn’t awake yet,
so he won’t remember being knocked
out. Just like we didn’t.
Salome goes to leave.
SALOME (CONT'D)
Goodbye August, and good luck.
AUGUST
Please take care of Ona and her
baby.
Salome nods.
SALOME
Of course. I promise.
AUGUST
Wait. I need to give you something.
August crosses the room and pulls a gun out of his satchel.
He comes back to the ladder and hands it to Salome.
AUGUST (CONT'D)
Here.
Salome stares at the gun.
SALOME
Why do you have a gun, August?
AUGUST
Because...
SALOME
Don’t kill yourself August. You
have important work to do.
August nods.
SALOME (CONT'D)
You are the boys teacher.
She tucks the gun away, wordlessly. She begins to climb down.
SALOME (CONT'D)
We really have to hurry.
AUGUST
But you’re not fleeing.
She laughs again.
SALOME
That’s right. We’ve chosen to
leave.
AUGUST
But not Aaron.
Salome is quiet for a moment. She looks at him.
SALOME
I will have to live with that.
AUGUST
Don’t come back. Don’t ever come
back, any of you.
Salome laughs. She nods.
SALOME
I’ll miss you. Be a good teacher.
You have straw in your hair.
AUGUST
Wait! I have to give you the
minutes!
SALOME
August! I have to go!
August runs to the table and picks up the notebooks and takes
some of the sheets of paper from the walls.
He hands her what he has gathered so far.
AUGUST
Please give these to Ona.
SALOME
But she can’t read them.
Double Blue Rev. (08/09/21) 101.
AUGUST
Her child will read them.
Salome places the notebooks and papers back in August’s
hands.
SALOME
August. The purpose was for you to
take the minutes.
She pushes his hand with the papers in it back at him. August
looks at her, beginning to understand.
SALOME (CONT'D)
We’ll meet again.
AUGUST
We’ll meet again.
Salome descends the ladder, leaving August with the
notebooks.
August goes to the north doors and opens them. We see him
stand there, in a WIDE FRAME. WE MOVE QUICKLY TOWARDS HIM and
we see what he sees. He watches Salome, running away, one
last time, from the barn. He can catch a glimpse of the
convoy of buggies lining up beside the wash house.
Ratings
Scene 59 - The Departure
We run with children through the field, obliviously carefree,
in a wild game. They approach the road and are ushered
towards buggies by the women. WE MOVE QUICKLY ALONGSIDE THE
CONVOY AS MANY BAGS AND SUPPLIES ARE LOADED, children are
passed up. Women get inside. A flurry of activity as last
minute barrels and cases are loaded in. Among them we see
Mariche and her children, Ona, Agata, Salome, Mejal and
Greta. Anna, frantic, runs alongside the convoy, holding
tight to Helena’s hand as they run, bags in her hand,looking
scared. Autje grabs Helena’s hand and helps her into a buggy
with Neitje. Anna sighs with relief and follows her in.
There is a commotion at the front of the convoy. One of the
buggies behind Autje’s gets stuck with the wheel of the buggy
in front. Neitje, Autje and a GROUP OF WOMEN spontaneously
leap out and help to move the buggy into the correct
position. The buggies begin to move.
Green Rev. (07/03/21) 102.
Ratings
Scene 60 - Echoes of Departure
August stands watching the convoy go. A hand reaches out of
the fourth buggy, a hand lifted in farewell. It might be
Ona’s. He lifts his hand in farewell, knowing he will likely
not be seen.
101 EXT WASH HOUSE ROAD - MORNING 101
We see the convoy of buggies making its way down the long
road. We CRANE UP to see the convoy of women and children,
snaking away into the distance.
101A INT. SALOME'S KITCHEN 101A
A tableau of Salome’s kitchen as it sits empty.
101B INT. GRETA’S KITCHEN 101B
A tableau of Greta’s kitchen. Still and empty.
101C INT. MARICHE’S KITCHEN 101C
A tableau of Mariche’s kitchen. Still and empty.
102 INT SCHOOLHOUSE - MORNING 102
August stands at the front of his schoolroom. There are some
empty chairs, where the younger ones used to sit. He looks at
the teenage boys in front of him. He studies their faces,
innocent, mischievous, paying attention, not paying
attention. He inhales and opens his mouth to speak.
CUT TO BLACK
Ratings
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
---|---|---|---|
greta | Greta's character arc begins with her as a strong and pragmatic leader, deeply rooted in her community and family. As the story progresses, she faces challenges that force her to confront her past regrets and the potential need to leave her home for the safety of her family. This internal conflict leads her to a place of vulnerability, where she must balance her protective instincts with the desire for freedom and change. Ultimately, Greta evolves into a more open and adaptable figure, learning to embrace uncertainty while still providing support and guidance to her family. By the end of the feature, she emerges as a symbol of resilience and hope, having found a way to reconcile her past with her present, and fostering a sense of unity among the women in her community. | While Greta's character is well-developed and multifaceted, her arc could benefit from a clearer progression of internal conflict and resolution. The screenplay presents her as a strong leader, but her journey towards vulnerability and adaptability could be more pronounced. The balance between her nurturing side and her pragmatic approach may sometimes feel inconsistent, leading to a lack of clarity in her motivations. Additionally, her humor, while a charming aspect of her character, could be better integrated into her growth, showing how it evolves in response to the challenges she faces. | To improve Greta's character arc, consider emphasizing her internal struggles more explicitly throughout the screenplay. This could involve moments of doubt or fear that challenge her pragmatic nature, allowing for a more gradual transformation. Incorporating scenes that highlight her relationships with other characters, particularly Mariche, could deepen her emotional journey and showcase her growth. Additionally, her humor could be used as a coping mechanism that evolves as she confronts her past, ultimately leading to a more profound understanding of herself and her role within the community. Finally, ensure that her decisions regarding leaving or staying are tied to her character development, making her final choices resonate with the audience as a culmination of her journey. |
agata | Agata's character arc begins with her grappling with the weight of her family's history and the emotional scars it has left on her. Initially, she is portrayed as a nurturing yet conflicted figure, struggling to find her voice amidst the fears and doubts of her fellow women. As the story progresses, Agata becomes a more assertive leader, advocating for practical solutions and challenging traditional beliefs. She learns to balance her compassion with the need for decisive action, ultimately becoming a source of strength and unity for the group. By the climax, Agata fully embraces her role as a leader, guiding the women through a pivotal moment of crisis with wisdom and authority. In the resolution, she finds peace within herself, having reconciled her past traumas and emerged as a beacon of hope and resilience for her community. | While Agata's character is rich and multifaceted, her arc could benefit from clearer moments of personal growth and transformation. The screenplay may risk portraying her as overly idealized, lacking significant flaws or challenges that could make her journey more relatable and compelling. Additionally, her evolution from a nurturing figure to a decisive leader could be more pronounced, with specific events that catalyze her change and force her to confront her vulnerabilities. | To improve Agata's character arc, consider introducing a pivotal event that challenges her beliefs and forces her to confront her fears directly. This could be a moment where her compassion is tested against the need for tough decisions, leading to internal conflict. Additionally, incorporating moments of vulnerability where Agata struggles with her leadership role could add depth to her character. Showcasing her interactions with other characters, particularly those who challenge her views, could also enhance her growth. Finally, ensure that her journey culminates in a moment of self-acceptance, where she reconciles her past with her present, solidifying her role as a leader while remaining true to her compassionate nature. |
august |
|
While August's character arc is rich and layered, it could benefit from clearer stakes and motivations. His internal struggles are compelling, but they sometimes feel overshadowed by the external conflicts of the story. Additionally, his relationship with Ona, while central to his development, could be explored in more depth to enhance emotional resonance. | To improve August's character arc, consider incorporating more specific goals or desires that drive his actions throughout the screenplay. This could involve establishing a personal mission that aligns with the community's needs, giving him a clearer purpose. Additionally, deepen the exploration of his relationship with Ona by including more shared experiences or conflicts that challenge their bond. This would not only heighten the emotional stakes but also provide opportunities for August to demonstrate growth and change in response to their evolving dynamic. |
salome | Salome's character arc begins with her as a conflicted and nurturing figure, weighed down by past traumas and societal expectations. As the story progresses, she transforms into a strong-willed leader who challenges the status quo and advocates for the safety and empowerment of her community. Her journey is marked by moments of vulnerability, where she grapples with the moral implications of her choices, particularly regarding her children. By the climax, Salome emerges as a decisive and assertive character, willing to make sacrifices for her loved ones and the greater good. Ultimately, she finds a balance between her protective instincts and her desire for change, leading to a resolution where she embraces her role as both a mother and a leader. | While Salome's character arc is rich and complex, it may benefit from clearer milestones that highlight her transformation. The emotional depth is present, but the progression from vulnerability to assertiveness could be more pronounced. Additionally, some of her motivations may feel repetitive, as her protective instincts and nurturing nature are emphasized throughout. This could lead to a lack of dynamic growth, making her character feel static at times. | To improve Salome's character arc, consider introducing specific challenges or conflicts that force her to confront her vulnerabilities and push her towards growth. For instance, incorporating a pivotal moment where she must choose between her children's safety and her community's needs could create a more dramatic turning point. Additionally, showcasing her interactions with other characters who challenge her beliefs could add depth to her journey. Finally, ensuring that her assertiveness is built up gradually through smaller victories or realizations will make her transformation feel more organic and impactful. |
neitje | Neitje's character arc follows her journey from a quiet, introspective girl to a determined and resourceful leader. At the beginning of the feature, she is portrayed as a sensitive and artistic individual, using her drawings to express her emotions and observations. As the story unfolds, she faces various challenges that force her to confront her fears and insecurities. Through her interactions with others, she learns to navigate the complexities of her environment, gradually gaining confidence and assertiveness. By the climax, Neitje emerges as a strong leader, taking charge of the women's escape and demonstrating her ability to guide and protect her community. Her arc concludes with her embracing her role as a protector and leader, having transformed from a passive observer to an active participant in her own destiny. | While Neitje's character arc is compelling, it could benefit from deeper exploration of her internal conflicts and motivations. The transition from a quiet girl to a confident leader feels somewhat abrupt, and the screenplay could enhance her development by providing more moments of vulnerability and self-doubt. Additionally, her relationships with other characters could be further fleshed out to create a more nuanced understanding of her growth. The balance between her artistic nature and her leadership role could also be better integrated, allowing her creativity to play a more significant role in problem-solving and decision-making. | To improve Neitje's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that highlight her internal struggles and the emotional weight of her responsibilities. This could include moments of doubt where she questions her ability to lead or fears for her loved ones, allowing the audience to connect with her on a deeper level. Additionally, explore her relationships with other characters, particularly those who challenge or support her, to create a richer narrative tapestry. Integrating her artistic talents into her leadership style could also provide a unique angle, showcasing how her creativity aids in problem-solving and fosters unity among the women. Finally, pacing her transformation more gradually could enhance the believability of her arc, allowing for a more satisfying and relatable journey. |
ona | Ona's character arc begins with her as a contemplative and introspective figure, grappling with her past traumas and the uncertainties of her future, particularly regarding her pregnancy. As the story progresses, she evolves into a determined advocate for justice and empowerment, standing up for herself and others in the face of adversity. Her journey is marked by moments of self-discovery, where she learns to balance her vulnerability with her strength. By the climax, Ona emerges as a unifying force within the group, embodying hope and resilience. She ultimately finds clarity and direction, leading her community towards a more equitable future, while also reconciling her personal struggles with her role as a mother and leader. | Ona's character arc is compelling and rich, showcasing her growth from a reflective individual to a determined advocate. However, the arc could benefit from clearer stakes and challenges that force her to confront her vulnerabilities more directly. While her resilience is admirable, there are moments where her internal conflicts could be more pronounced, allowing the audience to connect with her struggles on a deeper level. Additionally, the transition from her contemplative nature to her role as an advocate could be more gradual, highlighting the pivotal moments that catalyze her transformation. | To improve Ona's character arc, consider introducing specific external conflicts that challenge her beliefs and force her to confront her past traumas more directly. This could involve a significant event that threatens her community or her child, prompting her to take a stand. Additionally, incorporating moments of doubt or failure could add depth to her journey, allowing her to grow through adversity. Highlighting key relationships that influence her transformation—such as mentorship from another character or a pivotal moment with her child—could also enhance her development. Finally, ensuring that her advocacy for justice is tied to personal stakes will create a more emotionally resonant arc, making her journey feel both personal and universal. |
mariche | Mariche's character arc begins with her as a strong yet conflicted leader, torn between her responsibilities as a mother and her desire for personal freedom. Initially, she is protective and assertive, often confronting the group's decisions to ensure their safety. As the story progresses, she faces internal and external challenges that force her to confront her past traumas and the oppressive societal norms that bind her. Through her journey, Mariche evolves from a cautious and skeptical figure into a more empathetic and understanding leader who values consensus and collaboration among the women. By the climax, she embraces her vulnerability and learns to forgive herself and others, ultimately finding a balance between her duties and her desires. In the resolution, Mariche emerges as a more liberated and empowered individual, ready to lead her family and community toward a hopeful future. | While Mariche's character arc is rich and layered, it may benefit from a clearer progression of her internal conflicts and resolutions. The transitions between her various states of mind could be more pronounced, allowing the audience to witness her growth in a more tangible way. Additionally, her relationships with other characters could be further developed to highlight her influence and the impact of her decisions on those around her. This would create a more dynamic interplay between her personal journey and the collective struggles of the women in the colony. | To improve Mariche's character arc, consider incorporating more pivotal moments that challenge her beliefs and force her to confront her fears directly. This could include key interactions with other characters that serve as catalysts for her growth. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a foil character could provide contrasting perspectives that deepen her internal conflict. It may also be beneficial to include specific scenes that showcase her gradual shift from a protective, confrontational stance to one of empathy and collaboration, allowing the audience to witness her transformation in real-time. Finally, ensuring that her final decisions resonate with her earlier struggles will create a more cohesive and satisfying arc. |
autje | Autje's character arc follows her transformation from a playful and carefree young woman to a resilient and protective figure who confronts her fears and embraces her role as a leader. Initially, she uses humor to navigate her relationships and avoid deeper issues. As she becomes more aware of the complexities of her environment and the challenges her group faces, she begins to question her beliefs and the status quo. This internal struggle culminates in moments of impulsiveness and emotional turmoil, where she must confront her anxieties and the consequences of her actions. Ultimately, Autje emerges as a determined and supportive leader, advocating for unity and courage among her friends while learning to balance her impulsive nature with thoughtful decision-making. | While Autje's character arc is compelling, it risks becoming somewhat disjointed due to the rapid shifts between her playful and serious sides. The screenplay may benefit from a more gradual development of her emotional depth, allowing audiences to witness her transformation in a more cohesive manner. Additionally, her impulsiveness, while a key trait, could be better integrated into her growth, showing how she learns to channel it constructively rather than allowing it to lead to conflict. | To improve Autje's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that highlight her internal struggles and the consequences of her impulsive actions. This could involve moments where her humor fails to diffuse tension, leading to deeper reflections on her role within the group. Additionally, providing her with a mentor or a pivotal experience that challenges her views could facilitate her growth. Finally, ensure that her emotional journey is mirrored in her relationships with other characters, allowing for more nuanced interactions that showcase her development from a playful spirit to a grounded leader. |
mejal | Throughout the screenplay, Mejal embarks on a journey of healing and self-discovery. Initially, she is portrayed as a pragmatic protector, focused on maintaining order and addressing conflicts within the group. As the story progresses, her emotional struggles become more pronounced, leading her to confront her past trauma. This confrontation catalyzes her transformation from a guarded individual to someone who embraces vulnerability and seeks connection with others. By the climax, Mejal learns to balance her fierce loyalty with the need for self-care, ultimately finding strength in her vulnerability. In the resolution, she emerges as a more integrated person, capable of expressing her emotions while still being a steadfast protector for her loved ones. | Mejal's character arc is compelling, showcasing a blend of resilience and vulnerability. However, the transitions between her various emotional states could be more nuanced. At times, her shifts from pragmatic to emotional feel abrupt, which may detract from the audience's ability to fully connect with her journey. Additionally, while her protective nature is well-established, there could be more exploration of her relationships with other characters to deepen the impact of her loyalty and sense of justice. | To improve Mejal's character arc, consider incorporating more gradual transitions between her emotional states, allowing the audience to witness her internal struggles in real-time. This could be achieved through more intimate interactions with other characters, where her vulnerabilities are revealed in a safe space. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a pivotal relationship that challenges her views on vulnerability could provide a richer narrative. Finally, including moments where Mejal's protective instincts lead to conflict or misjudgment could add complexity to her character, making her eventual growth more impactful. |
scarface janz | Throughout the screenplay, Scarface Janz undergoes a significant transformation. Initially, she is a staunch defender of tradition, clashing with those who question the colony's beliefs. As the story progresses, her internal conflicts force her to confront her past traumas and the rigidity of her beliefs. A pivotal moment occurs when she must choose between her unwavering faith and the survival of her family, leading her to embrace a more nuanced understanding of forgiveness and community. By the end of the feature, Scarface emerges as a more open-minded and compassionate figure, willing to adapt her beliefs to better serve her family and community, ultimately finding a balance between tradition and change. | While Scarface Janz is a compelling character with a rich internal conflict, her arc could benefit from clearer stakes and more dynamic interactions with other characters. The initial portrayal of her as a staunch traditionalist may risk making her seem one-dimensional if not balanced with moments of vulnerability and growth. Additionally, her transformation could be more pronounced, with specific events or relationships that catalyze her change rather than a gradual evolution that may feel less impactful. | To improve Scarface Janz's character arc, consider introducing a mentor or a foil character who challenges her beliefs more directly, prompting her to confront her values. Incorporating flashbacks or moments of reflection could deepen the audience's understanding of her past trauma and its influence on her current behavior. Additionally, creating a climactic moment where she must choose between her traditional values and the well-being of her family could serve as a powerful turning point, making her eventual acceptance of change more impactful. Finally, ensure that her relationships with her daughters evolve throughout the story, reflecting her growth and the shifting dynamics within the family. |
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
Pattern | Explanation |
---|---|
High Overall Grade, but Inconsistent Emotional Impact | The screenplay consistently receives high overall grades (mostly 9s), indicating strong concept, plot, characters, and dialogue. However, emotional impact scores fluctuate significantly, ranging from very high (9s) to very low (2s and 3s). This suggests a potential disconnect between the narrative's technical aspects and its emotional resonance. While the story elements are strong, the emotional impact isn't consistently delivered. Review scenes 6, 18, 28, 29, 51, and 53 specifically to identify what's hindering the emotional connection with the audience. Consider if the emotional beats are well-placed, clearly expressed, or properly developed. Over-reliance on descriptive tone without corresponding emotional expression might be an issue. |
Reflective Tone and Lower Emotional Impact | Scenes with a prominent "Reflective" tone (appearing frequently in the tone descriptions) often have lower scores in "Emotional Impact." This could indicate that the reflective scenes, while well-written (high dialogue and character scores often accompany them), might lack sufficient emotional weight or direct emotional expression. Explore ways to blend reflection with more palpable emotion to heighten the audience's connection to the characters' internal struggles and experiences. Consider adding more action or subtext in these scenes. |
High Concept/Plot Scores and High Dialogue Scores Suggest Strong Narrative | The screenplay consistently scores high in 'Concept' and 'Plot,' suggesting a well-structured and engaging narrative framework. This is further supported by high 'Dialogue' scores in many scenes, indicating strong character interactions and witty exchanges. This is a significant strength of the screenplay. |
Tension and High Stakes Often Co-occur but Not Always Lead to High Emotional Impact | Scenes with high 'High Stakes' and 'Tension' scores don't always translate to high 'Emotional Impact' scores. While creating tension and high stakes is important, it’s crucial to ensure that these elements are tied directly to character emotions and motivations, to elicit an impactful response from the audience. Pay special attention to the link between the external conflict and the characters' internal emotional journeys. |
Character Changes Score is Relatively Consistent, Suggesting Steady Character Arcs | The scores for 'Character Changes' show a fairly consistent level (mostly 7s and 8s), suggesting the characters undergo steady and believable development throughout the story. This is a positive indication of well-paced character arcs. However, the lack of major spikes could suggest there is room to explore more significant turning points in character arcs for greater narrative impact. |
Humorous Elements in Serious Scenes: A Potential for Ironic Undercutting | The inclusion of "Humorous" elements within primarily serious or somber tones (scenes 17, 19, 24, 26) may be a deliberate stylistic choice, but it warrants careful consideration. The impact of these humorous elements needs to be evaluated, ensuring they serve to enhance the narrative, rather than unintentionally undercutting the serious tone. Assess if these instances successfully add depth or if they might jar the viewer's emotional experience. If the intent is indeed ironic undercutting, ensure that the humor is nuanced and integrated organically. |
Strong Concept and Dialogue, But Dialogue Scores occasionally fall below other elements in reflective scenes | While the concept is consistently rated highly, some reflective scenes show a dip in dialogue scores, which could indicate an over-reliance on internal monologues and lack of dynamic interactions, impacting the emotional connection. Consider if the dialogue adequately conveys the reflective tones or if it could be sharpened for more impact. |
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
The screenplay demonstrates a strong ability to create emotional depth and thematic resonance, particularly through evocative language and imagery. The writer excels at capturing intimate character moments and exploring complex internal conflicts. However, there's a recurring need to refine scene structure, pacing, and dialogue to maximize the impact of these emotionally resonant moments. While the writer shows a talent for creating atmosphere and tension, consistency in these areas needs improvement. The frequent suggestions for reading 'The Screenwriter's Bible' highlight a potential lack of foundational knowledge in screenwriting structure and formatting.
Key Improvement Areas
Suggestions
Type | Suggestion | Rationale |
---|---|---|
Book | 'The Screenwriter's Bible' by David Trottier | This book provides a comprehensive guide to screenwriting structure, formatting, and storytelling techniques, directly addressing recurring feedback on scene structure and pacing. |
Book | 'Story: Substance, Structure, Style and the Principles of Screenwriting' by Robert McKee | McKee's book offers in-depth insights into character development, plot structure, and narrative techniques, which would help the writer build more compelling and impactful scenes. |
Screenplay | A selection of screenplays with diverse styles, including those by Terrence Malick ('Days of Heaven', 'The Tree of Life'), Chloé Zhao ('The Rider'), and Kelly Reichardt ('Certain Women'), as well as examples of strong dialogue-driven narratives. | Studying these screenplays will provide exposure to various storytelling approaches and techniques, helping the writer develop their unique voice while learning from masters of the craft. |
Video | Online resources on scene analysis and pacing (e.g., YouTube tutorials, Masterclass videos on screenwriting). | Visual learning complements reading and writing exercises. These videos can offer practical insights into analyzing successful scenes and improving pacing and structure. |
Stories Similar to this one
Story | Explanation |
---|---|
The Handmaid's Tale | Both narratives explore themes of female oppression and the struggle for autonomy within a patriarchal society. The characters face shared trauma and must navigate complex familial and societal dynamics, similar to the Reimer, Friesen, and Janz women. |
Little Women | This story focuses on the lives of four sisters as they navigate personal and societal challenges. The themes of familial bonds, personal growth, and the struggle for independence resonate with the dynamics among the women in the screenplay. |
The Color Purple | Both stories delve into the lives of women facing abuse and societal constraints, highlighting their resilience and the importance of sisterhood. The emotional depth and exploration of trauma are central to both narratives. |
Atonement | This narrative features themes of guilt, trauma, and the impact of past actions on relationships. The use of flashbacks to reveal deeper emotional truths parallels the visual style hinted at in the screenplay. |
The Crucible | Both stories depict a community grappling with fear, suspicion, and the consequences of collective trauma. The tension between personal beliefs and societal expectations is a central theme in both narratives. |
The Joy Luck Club | This story explores the relationships between mothers and daughters across generations, emphasizing cultural identity and shared experiences. The focus on women's voices and their struggles resonates with the themes in the screenplay. |
Wild | Both narratives involve a journey of self-discovery and healing following trauma. The exploration of personal struggles and the connection to nature are significant themes in both stories. |
The Secret Life of Bees | This story centers on the bond between women and their fight against societal norms. Themes of empowerment, healing, and the importance of community are prevalent in both narratives. |
The Nightingale | Both narratives highlight the resilience of women during times of crisis, focusing on their sacrifices and the impact of war on familial relationships. The emotional weight and historical context create a similar tone. |
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
---|---|---|
Shared Trauma | ||
Strong Female Characters | ||
Coming of Age | ||
The Power of Community | ||
Mysterious Past | ||
The Mentor | ||
The Journey | ||
Forbidden Love | ||
The Call to Action | ||
The Final Stand |
Theme | Theme Details | Themee Explanation | ||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Female Agency and Survival | The core narrative revolves around women actively challenging their oppressive situation, making difficult choices about survival, and ultimately choosing to leave the colony to escape abuse and seek a better future. The process of voting, planning, and executing their escape is central. | This theme explores the power dynamics between men and women in a patriarchal society and how women find strength and resilience in the face of adversity. It emphasizes the importance of self-determination and the fight for freedom. | ||||||||||||
Strengthening Female Agency and Survival:
| ||||||||||||||
Trauma and Healing | Recurring flashbacks and the women's shared experiences of violence and abuse, coupled with their ongoing emotional struggles, reveal deep-seated trauma and the long road to healing. This trauma is a driving force behind their decision to escape and a key element to understanding their individual choices. | The screenplay explores the lasting impacts of trauma on individuals and communities, as well as the challenges and possibilities of healing and finding strength even in the face of horrific experiences. | ||||||||||||
Faith and Forgiveness | The women's faith is both a source of strength and a point of contention. Some advocate for forgiveness, rooted in their religious beliefs, while others see it as a betrayal of their own safety and the well-being of their children. The tension between faith and self-preservation is explored. | This theme examines the complexities of faith in the context of immense suffering and explores the internal conflict between adhering to religious dogma and prioritizing personal survival and justice. | ||||||||||||
Gender Roles and Power Dynamics | The screenplay examines the deeply ingrained gender roles within the colony and how those roles contribute to the women's oppression. The roles of men and women, their interaction, and the women’s collective power to overcome the power imbalance are key elements. | This theme looks at how societal structures and expectations reinforce inequalities and limit opportunities for women. It highlights the systemic nature of the women's oppression and their resistance to it. |
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
Site | Description |
---|---|
Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
---|---|
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
Voice Analysis | |
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Summary: | The writer's voice is characterized by a potent blend of poetic introspection and gritty realism. It's deeply empathetic, focusing on the internal lives and emotional struggles of women facing societal oppression and trauma. The voice utilizes vivid imagery, both in visual descriptions and metaphorical language, to create a powerful atmosphere of tension, resilience, and quiet defiance. While there's a pervasive sense of melancholy and the weight of the past, the voice also allows for moments of humor and lightheartedness, revealing the characters' strength and ability to find joy amidst hardship. |
Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes to the script by creating a profound sense of emotional depth and authenticity. The nuanced portrayal of female characters grappling with trauma and societal expectations enhances the themes of resilience, forgiveness, and the search for autonomy. The vivid imagery and evocative language create a richly textured world that immerses the audience in the characters' experiences. The blend of poetic introspection and gritty realism adds layers of complexity, preventing the narrative from becoming overly sentimental or didactic. The subtle humor and moments of lightness provide a counterpoint to the pervasive sense of melancholy, highlighting the characters' remarkable strength and capacity for hope. |
Best Representation Scene | 3 - Silent Suffering |
Best Scene Explanation | This scene best encapsulates the writer's unique voice because it masterfully combines vivid visual imagery with introspective narration to highlight the stark contrast between the suffering of the women and the obliviousness of the men. The juxtaposition of the physical brutality endured by the women on the dusty road with the silent prayer inside the church powerfully conveys the societal injustice and the emotional weight of their experience. The use of August's voiceover provides insightful commentary on the societal judgment and misunderstanding, deepening the emotional impact and thematic resonance of the scene. This scene effectively showcases the blend of poetic introspection and gritty realism, a hallmark of the writer's distinctive style. |
- Overall originality score: 9
- Overall originality explanation: The screenplay presents a highly original narrative that explores complex themes such as trauma, empowerment, gender dynamics, and community resilience within a conservative setting. Each scene introduces fresh perspectives and unique character interactions, often blending emotional depth with symbolic imagery. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue contributes significantly to the screenplay's originality, making it resonate with audiences on multiple levels.
- Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the screenplay are the women's collective decision-making process in the face of societal judgment and personal trauma, the exploration of gender identity through characters like Nettie/Melvin, and the use of visual symbolism, such as Neitje's drawings and the significance of the Census Truck. Additionally, the portrayal of intimate moments, such as the women's rituals and the nurturing relationships among them, adds layers of originality.
- Overall unpredictability score: 8
- Overall unpredictability explanation: The screenplay maintains a high level of unpredictability through its intricate character dynamics and the evolving conflicts that arise from their circumstances. The characters' decisions, particularly regarding their safety and the potential for violence, create a sense of tension and uncertainty. The unexpected twists, such as Salome's violent confrontation with Scarface Janz and the emotional revelations among the women, keep the audience engaged and guessing about the outcomes of their struggles.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
---|---|
internal Goals | Throughout the screenplay, the protagonist evolves from a state of vulnerability and isolation to one of empowerment and collective agency. Initially, they seek personal safety and understanding in light of the injustice they face. As the narrative progresses, their goals shift toward advocating for justice, protecting their loved ones, and creating a unified front against oppression. |
External Goals | The protagonist's external goals evolve from merely surviving the oppressive environment to actively participating in a collective decision to fight for their safety and freedom. Their journey leads them to advocate for the well-being of their community and children, ultimately culminating in a united effort to escape their oppressive circumstances. |
Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around the tension between the values of obedience and submission to traditional norms versus the pursuit of personal and collective autonomy. This conflict manifests in the women's struggle against a patriarchal system that suppresses their voices and decisions. |
Character Development Contribution: The goals and conflicts enrich the protagonist's development by transforming them from a passive individual to an empowered leader. They gain confidence and a sense of identity as they navigate the complexities and dangers surrounding them, forging deeper bonds with their community.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The evolving goals and conflicts drive the narrative forward, propelling characters into decisive actions that shape the story’s direction. The decisions made by the protagonist and others create a compelling arc that builds tension and resolution.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflicts contribute to the thematic depth by exploring the intricacies of justice, sacrifice, and the quest for freedom. They allow for a nuanced examination of societal pressures, personal agency, and the resilience of women in the face of adversity.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
Site | Description |
---|---|
Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
---|---|
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
- Physical environment: The screenplay depicts a rural, agrarian world, primarily set within a secluded Mennonite-like colony. The environment is characterized by fields (soy, etc.), barns, haylofts, a schoolhouse, farmhouses, a washhouse, a chicken coop, dusty roads, and other structures typical of a simple, agricultural community. The natural world—sunrises, sunsets, stars, fields—is frequently shown, contrasting with the human-built structures. There's a sense of both beauty and harshness to this environment.
- Culture: The colony's culture is deeply religious, emphasizing faith, forgiveness, and traditional gender roles. Pacifism is a stated value, though this is challenged by the events of the story. There are strong community bonds and communal rituals (foot washing, hymn singing). Women's artistic expression (drawing) is present, but their voices are often suppressed. The community's interaction with outside forces is limited, although the census is a point of friction, and eventually, external forces such as the police are drawn into the conflict.
- Society: The society is rigidly patriarchal, with men holding significant power and control over women. This power dynamic is the central conflict of the story. Women are marginalized, subject to abuse, and largely excluded from decision-making processes at first. However, the screenplay shows the women gradually finding their agency and collective voice. Family units are important, and there is a strong sense of familial ties, though these relationships are often strained by the patriarchal structure and the shared trauma.
- Technology: Technology is minimal and primarily pre-industrial. Buggies, scythes, lanterns, and other simple tools are prevalent. The modern world intrudes briefly through a census truck and the eventual need for police intervention. The limited technology emphasizes the isolation and the contrast between the traditional ways of life within the colony and the external world.
- Characters influence: The oppressive patriarchal society shapes the characters' experiences profoundly. Women are initially constrained by their roles and afraid to speak out. Their actions are driven by a desire for safety, justice, and agency for themselves and their children. The men's actions are largely defined by their abuse of power and their attempts to maintain control. The limited technology and isolated setting reinforce the feeling of confinement and the characters' struggle for autonomy.
- Narrative contribution: The world-building contributes to the narrative by creating a sense of claustrophobia and tension. The isolated setting allows for the focus to remain on the community's internal conflicts and the women's gradual empowerment. The stark contrast between the peaceful, idyllic aspects of the environment and the violence and oppression creates dramatic irony and suspense. The cyclical nature of events drives the narrative forward.
- Thematic depth contribution: The world-building significantly contributes to the thematic depth by exploring themes of faith versus action, patriarchal oppression and female empowerment, the complexities of forgiveness and justice, the importance of community and family, and the resilience of the human spirit. The simple, almost timeless setting allows these themes to resonate more powerfully, transcending the specific context of the colony to speak to broader societal issues.
central conflict
The struggle of women in a patriarchal society to reclaim their autonomy and protect their children from abusive men while grappling with their faith and the consequences of their choices.
primary motivations
- The desire for safety and freedom from oppression.
- The need to protect their children from harm.
- The quest for forgiveness and understanding amidst trauma.
- The longing for connection and love in a fractured community.
catalysts
- The arrival of men from the city, threatening the women's safety.
- The women's realization of their shared trauma and the need for collective action.
- The decision to vote on whether to stay and fight or leave the colony.
barriers
- Internalized beliefs about forgiveness and faith that conflict with the need for self-defense.
- The societal norms that dictate women's roles and limit their agency.
- Fear of retribution from the men if they choose to rebel or leave.
themes
- Feminism and empowerment.
- The impact of trauma and the struggle for healing.
- The complexity of forgiveness and moral dilemmas.
- Community and solidarity among women.
stakes
The safety and future of the women and children, the potential for a new life outside the colony, and the moral implications of their choices regarding forgiveness and violence.
uniqueness factor
The story uniquely intertwines themes of faith, trauma, and female empowerment within a specific cultural context, highlighting the resilience of women in the face of systemic oppression.
audience hook
The emotional depth of the characters' struggles and the tension between their desires for freedom and the constraints of their environment will engage viewers.
paradoxical engine or bisociation
The juxtaposition of the women's nurturing roles as mothers with their emerging identities as fighters against oppression creates a paradox that drives the narrative forward.
paradoxical engine or bisociation 2
The contrast between their faith in forgiveness and the instinct for self-preservation illustrates the complexity of human emotions and decisions in dire circumstances.
Engine: Gemini
Highly Recommend
Executive Summary
Sarah Polley's 'Women Talking' is a remarkably compelling and nuanced screenplay that transcends its seemingly simple premise. The film's strength lies in its insightful exploration of trauma, faith, and female agency within a deeply patriarchal community. While some might find the pacing deliberate, this allows for profound character development and thematic resonance. The screenplay's unique structure and powerful dialogue contribute to a truly unforgettable cinematic experience.
- The screenplay excels in its depiction of the women's complex discussions. The dialogue is realistic, nuanced, and often deeply moving, allowing for a rich exploration of their individual experiences and beliefs. The debate is both intellectually stimulating and emotionally resonant. high ( Scene 14 Scene 22 Scene 24 Scene 51 Scene 59 )
- The use of flashbacks is masterful, subtly woven into the narrative and serving to deepen our understanding of the women's trauma without overwhelming the present-day discussions. The short, impactful flashbacks are highly effective. high ( Scene 4 Scene 15 Scene 18 Scene 31 Scene 54 )
- The character arcs are well-defined and believable. Each woman's journey is unique, yet they are all united by their shared experiences and their collective struggle for justice and change. We see growth and transformation in each of them. high ( Scene 8 Scene 14 Scene 24 Scene 51 Scene 59 )
- The screenplay effectively balances intense emotional scenes with moments of quiet reflection and humor. This prevents the narrative from becoming overly heavy, allowing for a more well-rounded and engaging viewing experience. medium ( Scene 5 Scene 20 Scene 30 Scene 35 Scene 40 )
- The ending is both powerful and subtly ambiguous, leaving the audience with lingering questions and a sense of hope. The use of voiceover adds depth and emotional resonance to the final scenes. high ( Scene 86 Scene 87 Scene 88 Scene 89 Scene 90 )
- While the pacing is generally deliberate and effective, some viewers might find certain discussions lengthy or repetitive. A few subtle cuts could maintain the emotional impact without sacrificing the richness of the dialogue. low
- The resolution of the plot might feel somewhat abrupt for some. While the focus is on the women's decision and emotional journey, expanding on the immediate aftermath of their departure could provide a more complete sense of closure. low
- There could be more focus on the individual lives of the women outside the hayloft meetings. Showing more of their daily routines and relationships with their children and families could provide more context and emotional depth. medium
- The film cleverly uses the perspective of August, the schoolteacher taking minutes, to frame the narrative. His observations provide valuable context and insight into the colony's dynamics. medium ( Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 7 )
- The screenplay effectively uses the visual language of the film to enhance the narrative impact. The slow-motion flashbacks, for example, highlight the brutality of the attacks without being gratuitous. high
- The use of sound design is particularly effective. The recurring “roar” during the flashback sequences underscores the trauma while the contrasts between silence and the cacophony of the women’s collective voice strengthens the overall impact. high ( Scene 9 Scene 45 Scene 62 )
- Underrepresentation of male perspectives While the screenplay understandably focuses on the women's experiences, the limited portrayal of male perspectives beyond the abusers might lead to a somewhat one-sided depiction of the colony's dynamics. Showing more complexity in the responses of some men who may be sympathetic could add layers to the story. medium
Engine: Claude
Recommend
Executive Summary
The screenplay for "Women Talking" is a powerful and nuanced exploration of a group of women in a remote Mennonite colony who must grapple with the aftermath of a series of sexual assaults against them. Masterfully written, the script deftly navigates complex themes of faith, morality, and the struggle for self-determination in the face of patriarchal oppression. The ensemble cast of characters is richly developed, each woman's journey intertwining with the others as they collectively decide whether to stay and fight or leave the colony entirely. The screenplay's strength lies in its ability to balance profound emotional moments with moments of dark humor, creating a multi-layered and deeply affecting narrative. Overall, "Women Talking" is a thoughtful, impactful, and wholly original work that would make for a compelling and timely cinematic experience.
- The opening scene effectively establishes the central conflict and sets the stage for the women's journey, as they grapple with the reality of the attacks and their desire for justice. high ( Scene 4 (4) )
- The foot-washing ritual scene is a powerful metaphor for the women's sense of community and their desire to honor their shared experience, creating a strong emotional foundation for the story. high ( Scene 8 (10) )
- The extended dialogue in the hayloft allows the characters to fully explore the complexities of their decision, showcasing the script's depth and nuance. high ( Scene 14 (14) )
- The script's balance of profound emotional moments and dark humor creates a compelling and multifaceted narrative that resonates with the audience. high
- The ensemble cast of richly developed characters, each with their own unique perspective and arc, drives the story forward in a natural and compelling way. high
- The screenplay could benefit from a clearer exploration of the women's interactions with the "do nothing" group, as this plotline is not fully developed and could be a source of additional conflict and tension. medium ( Scene 45 )
- The transition between the women's decision to leave and the focus on August and the boys could be more seamless, to maintain the momentum and emotional impact of the women's journey. medium ( Scene 60 (62) )
- The screenplay could benefit from a more distinct and consistently-applied visual style, to help establish the unique tone and atmosphere of the Mennonite colony. medium
- The screenplay could potentially be enriched by the inclusion of more moments that highlight the women's spiritual and religious beliefs, beyond the brief references to scripture and hymns, to further explore the role of faith in their decision-making process. medium
- While the screenplay effectively explores the women's collective journey, there could be an opportunity to delve deeper into the individual characters' backstories and motivations, to provide a more holistic understanding of their perspectives. medium
- Greta's story about the horses and her driving metaphor is a beautifully-crafted moment that effectively illustrates the women's need for a new perspective and the courage to take a leap of faith. high ( Scene 58 )
- Ona's decision to forgive the men and her willingness to see them as fellow victims of the patriarchal system is a powerful and nuanced character moment that adds depth to the narrative. high ( Scene 54 (54) )
- The screenplay's exploration of the role of masculinity and the impact of patriarchal oppression is a timely and relevant theme that resonates strongly with the story's central conflict. high
- Potential lack of diverse perspectives While the screenplay effectively explores the perspectives of the Mennonite women, there is a possibility that the writer may have a limited understanding of the diverse experiences and cultural nuances within the Mennonite community. Additional research or consultation with members of the Mennonite community could help to enrich the script and ensure a more authentic and comprehensive portrayal of this marginalized group. medium
- Occasional exposition heavy dialogue There are a few instances where the characters engage in dialogue that feels a bit too expository, particularly when explaining concepts or providing information that the audience could likely infer from the context. While these moments are relatively infrequent, they could benefit from a more natural, show-don't-tell approach to conveying information. low
Engine: GPT4
Highly Recommend
Executive Summary
The screenplay for 'Women Talking' presents a powerful exploration of female agency, trauma, and the struggle for autonomy within a patriarchal society. The dialogue-driven narrative effectively captures the emotional weight of the characters' experiences while maintaining a consistent thematic focus on the complexities of forgiveness and the quest for freedom. The character arcs are well-developed, leading to a compelling climax that resonates with contemporary social issues.
- The dialogue is rich and layered, allowing for deep character exploration and emotional resonance. high ( Scene 4 (4) Scene 10 (10) )
- The character arcs are well-developed, showcasing growth and transformation throughout the narrative. high ( Scene 14 (14) Scene 51 (51) )
- The screenplay maintains a consistent thematic focus on forgiveness and the quest for freedom, enhancing its emotional impact. high ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 80 (80) )
- The use of visual imagery and symbolism throughout the screenplay adds depth to the narrative. medium ( Scene 22 (22) Scene 86 (86) )
- The emotional stakes are consistently high, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journeys. high ( Scene 19 (19) Scene 59 (59) )
- Some scenes could benefit from tighter pacing to maintain momentum and avoid dragging. medium ( Scene 11 (11) )
- There are moments where exposition could be more subtly integrated into the dialogue to enhance natural flow. medium ( Scene 6 (6) )
- Certain character motivations could be more clearly defined to avoid confusion about their choices. medium ( Scene 12 (12) )
- The screenplay occasionally relies on clichés that could be replaced with more original expressions. low ( Scene 30 (30) )
- Some supporting characters could be further developed to enhance the overall narrative depth. medium ( Scene 44 (44) )
- A more diverse range of perspectives from the women could enrich the narrative and provide a fuller picture of their experiences. high ( Scene 5 (5) )
- The screenplay could benefit from additional context regarding the historical and cultural background of the colony. medium ( Scene 8 (8) )
- More exploration of the men's perspectives could provide a more balanced view of the conflict. low ( Scene 3 (3) )
- The emotional aftermath of the women's decisions could be further explored to enhance the narrative's impact. medium ( Scene 24 (24) )
- A clearer resolution for some character arcs would provide a more satisfying conclusion. medium ( Scene 19 (19) )
- The opening sequence effectively sets the tone and context for the story, drawing the audience in immediately. high ( Scene 1 (1) )
- The use of flashbacks adds depth to the characters' trauma and motivations, enhancing emotional engagement. high ( Scene 10 (10) )
- The final scene leaves a lasting impression, encapsulating the themes of hope and resilience. high ( Scene 80 (80) )
- The interactions between characters are often laced with humor, providing relief amidst the heavy themes. medium ( Scene 22 (22) )
- The screenplay's exploration of motherhood and protection resonates deeply, making it relatable to a wide audience. high ( Scene 44 (44) )
- Character Development While the main characters are well-developed, some supporting characters lack depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with them fully. For example, the motivations of characters like Scarface Janz could be explored further to enhance their complexity. medium
- Exposition There are instances where exposition feels heavy-handed, particularly in scenes where characters explain their feelings or motivations rather than showing them through action or dialogue. This can detract from the natural flow of the narrative. medium
Memorable lines in the script:
Scene Number | Line |
---|---|
4 | ONA: They said we were dreaming. But then we realized that we were dreaming one dream and it wasn’t a dream at all. |
10 | HELENA: We have only domestic skills. How are we supposed to survive out in the World if we are excommunicated? |
13 | PETERS: Go. Go to the city. Get the police. |
27 | NEITJE: So if we leave... if we leave... I will never see my brothers again? |
58 | Salome: He’s my child. |