The Trial of the Chicago 7

Executive Summary

Poster
Overview

Genres: Drama, Legal, Political, Historical, Legal Drama, Political Drama, Comedy, Protest, Historical Drama, Courtroom Drama, Romance, Action, Dialogue-driven, Crime

Setting: 1960s-1970s, Chicago, Illinois, primarily during the Democratic National Convention and subsequent trials

Overview: The Trial of the Chicago 7 chronicles the events surrounding the infamous trial of seven defendants charged with conspiracy and inciting riots during the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago. The story begins with the backdrop of escalating protests against the Vietnam War, highlighting the motivations of various activists, including Tom Hayden, Abbie Hoffman, and Bobby Seale. As tensions rise, the narrative shifts to the courtroom, where the defendants face a biased judicial system and a prosecution determined to suppress dissent. Throughout the trial, the characters navigate personal and ideological conflicts, culminating in a dramatic confrontation between their ideals and the harsh realities of governmental power. The story concludes with the defendants' defiant stand against injustice, leaving a lasting impact on the audience regarding the fight for civil liberties.

Themes: Freedom of Speech and Protest vs. Government Control, The Nature of Justice and Injustice, The Futility of Peaceful Protest vs. Systemic Oppression, The Corrupting Influence of Power, The Power and Limitations of Counter-Culture and Radicalism, The Intersection of Race and Political Activism, Idealism vs. Pragmatism in Activism, The Role of Media and Public Perception, The Personal Cost of Activism and Resistance

Conflict and Stakes: The primary conflict revolves around the anti-war activists facing trial for conspiracy and inciting violence during protests, with their freedom and the broader implications for civil rights and social justice at stake.

Overall Mood: Chaotic and defiant, with moments of humor and tragedy.

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

  • Scene 1: The mood is tense and chaotic as the draft escalates, setting the stage for the societal unrest.
  • Scene 60: The mood shifts to triumphant chaos as the defendants rally in defiance during the sentencing, culminating in a powerful statement.
  • Scene 37: The mood is somber and reflective as Bobby Seale discusses the impact of Fred Hampton's death, highlighting the stakes of their activism.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The intertwining of real historical events with personal narratives of the defendants, creating a compelling drama.
  • Major Twist: The unexpected defiance of Tom Hayden during the sentencing phase, turning a moment of compliance into a powerful political statement.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of archival footage interspersed with dramatized scenes to enhance the historical context and emotional impact.
  • Distinctive Settings: The contrast between the chaotic protests in Chicago and the sterile courtroom environment, highlighting the tension between activism and authority.
  • Unique Characters: A diverse cast of characters representing various facets of the counterculture movement, each with distinct motivations and backgrounds.

Comparable Scripts:

  • The Trial of the Chicago 7
  • Selma
  • The West Wing
  • One Night in Miami
  • The Assassination of Richard Nixon
  • Milk
  • The Butler
  • 12 Angry Men
  • The Help

Writing Style:

The script exhibits a consistent style characterized by sharp, rapid-fire dialogue, intense character interactions, and a strong focus on political, social, and moral themes. There's a recurring emphasis on power dynamics, ethical dilemmas, and intellectual sparring within institutional settings. The dialogue is often confrontational and driving, propelling the narrative forward and revealing character depth through verbal exchanges.

Style Similarities:

  • Aaron Sorkin
  • David Mamet
Other Similarities
Pass/Consider/Recommend


Explanation:


USP: This script uniquely combines a historical courtroom drama with contemporary political relevance, using the 1969 trial as a lens to explore timeless questions about protest, justice, and institutional power. Its strength lies in making complex legal proceedings dramatically compelling while balancing multiple ideological perspectives without reducing characters to mere archetypes.
Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$20-30 million

Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 18-54, particularly those interested in historical dramas, social justice, and political activism.

Marketability: The screenplay addresses timely social issues and features a strong ensemble cast, appealing to audiences interested in historical and political narratives.

The blend of humor and serious themes, along with the historical context, can attract a diverse audience and generate discussions.

The compelling characters and their personal stories resonate with contemporary social movements, enhancing its relevance.

Profit Potential: High, due to the potential for critical acclaim, award nominations, and a strong audience connection to the themes of activism and justice.

Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by sharp, rapid-fire, and often witty dialogue that drives the narrative and reveals character. There's a strong emphasis on political and social commentary, often infused with a sense of urgency and defiance. The dialogue frequently juxtaposes humor and seriousness, creating a unique tone that acknowledges the absurdity of the situations while respecting their gravity. Narrative descriptions are concise yet evocative, setting a palpable mood. Direction often highlights power dynamics, tension, and ideological clashes through character interactions and scene structure.

Best representation: Scene 12 - Divided Strategies. Scene 12 best showcases the author's unique voice due to its masterful blend of humor, tension, and social commentary within a courtroom setting. The dialogue is sharp and rapid, with Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin providing sarcastic commentary amidst the turmoil. Bobby Seale's frustrated clashes with the judge and prosecutors, coupled with the immediate conflicts over courtroom decorum, perfectly encapsulate the writer's ability to capture the emotional intensity and dark humor of the defendants' situation. This scene exemplifies the writer's talent for using dialogue to reveal character, build tension, and underscore the thematic concerns of the screenplay.

Memorable Lines:

  • MARTIN LUTHER KING: It should be incandescently clear that no one who has any concern for the integrity of life in America today can ignore the present war-- (Scene 1)
  • TOM: When it comes to the war, when it comes to social justice, there’s simply not enough of a difference between Hubert Humphrey and Richard Nixon to make a difference. (Scene 2)
  • BOBBY: Martin’s dead. Malcolm’s dead. Medgar’s dead. Bobby’s dead. Jesus is dead. They tried it peaceful. We’re gonna try something else. (Scene 4)
  • TOM: We want to underscore again that we’re coming to Chicago peacefully, but whether we’re given permits or not, we’re coming. (Scene 7)
  • ABBIE: We carried certain ideas across state lines. Not machine guns or drugs or little girls. When we crossed from New York to New Jersey to Pennsylvania to Ohio to Illinois, we had certain ideas. (Scene 59)
Characters

Tom Hayden:A passionate activist and one of the defendants, advocating for peace and justice.

Abbie Hoffman:A charismatic and humorous leader of the counterculture movement, known for his theatrical protests.

David Dellinger:A seasoned activist and leader of the Mobilization to End the War in Vietnam, emphasizing non-violence.

Jerry Rubin:A co-founder of the Youth International Party (Yippies), known for his irreverent humor and radical tactics.

Rennie Davis:A young activist focused on civil rights and anti-war efforts, often caught between idealism and reality.

Bobby Seale:The chairman of the Black Panther Party, facing his own legal battles and advocating for racial justice.

William Kunstler:The defense attorney representing the activists, navigating the complexities of the trial.

Judge Hoffman:The presiding judge over the trial, often seen as authoritarian and dismissive of the defendants.

Story Shape

Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The overall plot of 'The Trial of the Chicago 7' is compelling and timely, effectively capturing the tumultuous atmosphere of the late 1960s and the complexities of the anti-war movement. The script excels in its character development, particularly in portraying the diverse motivations and personalities of the defendants, which adds depth to the narrative. The use of archival footage interspersed with the dramatized events provides a powerful historical context that enhances the emotional weight of the story. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, reflecting the era's fervor and urgency. However, the pacing can feel uneven at times, particularly in the courtroom scenes, where the rapid-fire exchanges may overwhelm viewers unfamiliar with the legal jargon. Additionally, while the focus on the trial is crucial, some character arcs could benefit from further exploration to provide a more rounded view of their backgrounds and motivations. The script occasionally leans into caricature, particularly with characters like Abbie Hoffman, which may detract from the authenticity of their portrayals.
Suggestions: To improve the plot and story, consider deepening the backstories of secondary characters to provide more context for their actions and beliefs. This could involve flashbacks or dialogue that reveals their personal stakes in the trial. Additionally, balancing the courtroom drama with more personal moments could enhance emotional engagement, allowing the audience to connect with the characters on a deeper level. Streamlining some of the legal discussions could also help maintain pacing and clarity, ensuring that the audience remains engaged without feeling lost in legalese.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Beginning The beginning of the script effectively sets the stage for the events that follow, using archival footage to ground the narrative in historical reality. The opening scenes create a sense of urgency and chaos, reflecting the societal unrest of the time. The introduction of key characters, such as Tom Hayden and Rennie Davis, is well-executed, showcasing their passion and commitment to the anti-war movement. The contrast between the archival footage and the dramatized scenes helps to establish the stakes involved in the upcoming protests. However, the rapid transitions between different scenes and formats may disorient some viewers, making it challenging to fully absorb the context. Additionally, while the characters are introduced with strong motivations, the script could benefit from more nuanced portrayals to avoid falling into stereotypes. The initial focus on the draft and the Vietnam War is compelling, but it could be enhanced by providing more personal stakes for the characters involved.
Suggestions: To improve the beginning of the script, consider incorporating more personal anecdotes or flashbacks that reveal the characters' motivations and backgrounds. This would help the audience connect with them on a deeper level. Additionally, slowing down the pacing slightly during the transitions could allow viewers to absorb the historical context more effectively. Introducing a central conflict or theme earlier in the narrative could also provide a clearer direction for the story as it unfolds.
Middle The middle section of the script maintains the momentum established in the beginning, delving deeper into the dynamics between the defendants and their differing philosophies regarding protest and activism. The courtroom scenes are particularly engaging, showcasing the tension between the defense and prosecution while highlighting the absurdity of the trial. The character interactions are rich and layered, revealing the complexities of their relationships and ideologies. However, the pacing can become uneven, with some scenes feeling overly long or bogged down by legal jargon. The script occasionally sacrifices character development for the sake of plot progression, which may leave some audience members wanting more depth in certain arcs. The use of humor, particularly through Abbie Hoffman's character, adds levity but can sometimes detract from the gravity of the situation. Overall, the middle section effectively captures the chaos of the protests and the trial, but it could benefit from a more balanced approach to character exploration.
Suggestions: To enhance the middle of the script, consider interspersing more personal moments that reveal the characters' vulnerabilities and fears, allowing for greater emotional resonance. Streamlining some of the legal discussions could help maintain pacing and keep the audience engaged. Additionally, incorporating more visual storytelling elements, such as flashbacks or symbolic imagery, could deepen the narrative and provide context for the characters' motivations. Balancing the humor with the serious themes of the trial could also create a more cohesive tone throughout this section.
Ending The ending of the script delivers a powerful and emotional climax, culminating in Tom Hayden's defiant reading of the names of fallen soldiers. This moment serves as a poignant reminder of the human cost of the Vietnam War and effectively encapsulates the themes of protest and sacrifice. The use of title cards to provide historical context after the trial is a strong narrative choice, allowing the audience to reflect on the outcomes of the characters' actions. However, the rapid succession of title cards may feel overwhelming, and a more gradual approach could enhance the emotional impact. The final moments, with the crowd chanting 'The whole world is watching,' resonate deeply, reinforcing the significance of the protests and the trial. While the ending is impactful, it could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the characters' futures, particularly for those who faced significant consequences.
Suggestions: To improve the ending, consider extending the character arcs of the defendants to provide a more comprehensive view of their lives after the trial. This could involve brief scenes or dialogue that hint at their future endeavors and struggles. Additionally, allowing for a moment of reflection among the characters before the final scene could enhance the emotional weight of their experiences. Gradually introducing the title cards rather than presenting them all at once could also create a more impactful conclusion, allowing the audience to absorb the significance of each outcome.

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

1 - Echoes of Turmoil: The Vietnam Draft and Assassinations Serious, Reflective, Tragic 8.5 9 89 8 687.5687889 798.58.58
2 - Rallying Voices: The Call to Protest Serious, Defiant, Passionate 8.5 9 89 9 898888879 99888
3 - Preparing for Peace: A Family's Dialogue on Non-Violence Tense, Reflective, Concerned 8.5 9 89 9 887878979 99888
4 - Defiance at the Headquarters Intense, Defiant, Tense 8.5 8 89 9 898989888 998.588
5 - Ignition of Rebellion Tense, Rebellious, Confrontational 8.5 8 89 9 887979988 89888
6 - Divided Strategies: Focus vs. Provocation Intense, Defiant, Provocative 8.5 8 99 8 787.5989978 898.588
7 - Tensions Rise: The Calm Before the Storm Tense, Defiant, Serious 8.5 8 98 8 787989978 99888
8 - A Moment in History Serious, Tense, Professional 8.2 8 88 9 687778876 88888
9 - The Weight of Authority Serious, Authoritative, Intense 8.7 9 99 9 887.5989988 998.588.5
10 - Chaos and Camaraderie at the Courthouse Tense, Confrontational, Defiant 8.5 9 88.5 9 787.5989998 898.588
11 - Pressing Questions in the Courthouse Serious, Informative, Tense 8.5 8 98 8 687.5787886 998.588
12 - Chaos in the Courtroom Tense, Confrontational, Confused, Authoritative 8.5 8 99 8 887989989 99888
13 - Divided Strategies Serious, Tense, Confrontational, Reflective 8.7 9 99 9 987.5989999 998.588
14 - The Permit Denial Serious, Confrontational, Humorous 8.5 8 88.5 9 787.5887998 998.588
15 - Defiance in the Courtroom Tense, Defiant, Absurd 8.5 8 98.5 9 798999988 998.588
16 - Cross-Examination of Government Witness Stahl Serious, Tense, Formal 8.5 8 98.5 8 787.5989987 88.5888
17 - Confrontation in Stahl's Office Tense, Defiant, Confrontational 8.5 8 98 8 798989988 99899
18 - Courtroom Confrontations Tense, Confrontational, Authoritative 8.5 8 98 8 887989978 98899
19 - Pressing Matters and Conspiracy Conversations Defiant, Sarcastic, Humorous 8.5 8 89 9 787.5878988 998.588
20 - Trial Tensions: Humor and Commitment Tense, Defiant, Sarcastic, Serious 8.5 8 98.5 9 887.5888989 998.588
21 - Threats and Tensions in the Courtroom Tense, Serious, Dramatic 8.7 9 98.5 9 887.5989989 998.588
22 - Jury Tensions and Silent Reflections Tense, Defiant, Confrontational, Serious 8.5 8 99 8 787.5989999 998.588
23 - Courtroom Antics and Tensions Tense, Humorous, Confrontational 8.5 8 88 9 787.5887897 998.588
24 - Chaos and Confrontation in Grant Park Serious, Tense, Reflective, Humorous 8.7 9 99 9 987.5989999 998.588
25 - Confrontation in Grant Park Tense, Confrontational, Sarcastic 8.5 8 98 8 789989988 99999
26 - Calm Amidst Chaos Tense, Sarcastic, Serious 8.5 8 98 8 887.5989989 998.588
27 - Defiance in the Courtroom Tense, Authoritative, Defiant 8.5 8 98.5 9 887.5989978 998.588
28 - Comedy and Courtroom Irony Sarcastic, Humorous, Serious 8.5 8 98.5 8 797.5888978 998.58.58
29 - A Toast to Connection Light-hearted, Witty, Charming 8.5 8 88 9 486362576 99899
30 - Testimony and Tension: The Chicago Protest Serious, Tense, Confrontational, Reflective 8.5 8 98.5 8 787.5989988 898.588
31 - Protest and Punchlines Satirical, Tense, Humorous 8.5 8 88.5 9 887.5988888 898.588
32 - Confrontation and De-escalation Tense, Humorous, Serious 8.5 8 99 8 887.5989998 998.588
33 - Tensions in Court and Street Tense, Defiant, Confrontational 8.5 8 98.5 8 887.5989999 998.588
34 - Tensions Rise: A Call for Leadership Tension, Humor, Conflict 8.5 8 88 9 887.5989888 898.588
35 - Chaos in the Courtroom and the Park Tense, Chaotic, Defiant 8.5 8 98 8 787.5989988 898.588
36 - Chaos in Grant Park Intense, Chaotic, Violent 8.5 8 88 9 898989889 89999
37 - Aftermath of Protest: A Trial and a Flashback Tense, Reflective, Confrontational 8.5 8 99 8 787.5989998 898.588
38 - Courtroom Confrontation Serious, Tense, Confrontational 8.5 8 99 8 787877877 99888
39 - Tensions at the Museum Confrontational, Reflective, Sarcastic 8.5 8 89 9 787887788 99888
40 - A Night of Urgency and Grief Serious, Intense, Reflective 9.2 9 99 9 987.59899910 998.588
41 - Courtroom Confrontation: The Struggle for Voice Tense, Defiant, Confrontational, Emotional 9.2 9 98.5 9 987.59899810 998.588
42 - A Courtroom in Chains Tense, Serious, Defiant 9.2 9 99 9 99810810989 99999
43 - Tensions and Strategies in the Conspiracy Office Tense, Serious, Reflective, Defiant 8.7 9 99 9 987.5989988 998.588
44 - The Government Car Tense, Serious, Intriguing 8.5 8 98 8 787.5888998 898.588
45 - A Brief Encounter in the Foyer Tense, Reflective, Serious 8.5 8 88 9 787483688 78.58.599
46 - Defiance in the Study Tense, Defiant, Confrontational, Serious 9.2 9 98.5 9 987.510810999 998.588
47 - Chaos in the Courtroom Tense, Confrontational, Defiant, Serious 9.2 9 99 9 987.5989999 998.588
48 - Tensions Rise in the Conspiracy Office Tense, Reflective, Confrontational 8.7 9 99 9 987989989 99888
49 - Cross-Examination in the Conspiracy Office Tense, Confrontational, Defensive 7.5 8 78 8 787887887 89888
50 - Tensions Rise at Grant Park Tense, Defiant, Chaotic 8.5 8 98 8 787988979 89888
51 - Night of Confrontation Tense, Emotional, Confrontational 8.5 8 99 8 887.5989989 898.588
52 - Escalation in Grant Park Tense, Emotional, Defiant 9.2 9 98.5 10 987.510810999 998.588
53 - Incitement and Consequences Intense, Defiant, Chaotic 8.5 8 99 8 887.5989999 898.588
54 - Confrontation at the Bridges Tense, Chaotic, Defiant, Violent 8.5 8 99 8 887.5989989 998.588
55 - Navigating Chaos: The Path to the Convention Tense, Provocative, Reflective 8.5 8 99 9 887978979 89888
56 - Caught in the Chaos Tense, Reflective, Confrontational 8.5 8 99 8 887.5989989 998.588
57 - Chaos and Confrontation Tense, Confrontational, Rebellious 8.5 8 98 9 887989989 99877
58 - Shared Defeat and Understanding Intense, Reflective, Confrontational 8.7 9 88.5 9 987.5888889 998.588
59 - Words on Trial Defiant, Reflective, Sarcastic 8.5 9 89 9 898988878 99888
60 - Defiance in the Courtroom Defiant, Emotional, Reflective 9.2 9 99 9 9989899710 99888


Scene 1 - Echoes of Turmoil: The Vietnam Draft and Assassinations
THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7
Written by
Aaron Sorkin

FADE IN:
1 LYNDON JOHNSON addresses a television camera (FILE FOOTAGE) 1
LYNDON JOHNSON
I have today ordered to Vietnam the
Air Mobile Division and certain
other forces which will raise our
fighting strength from 75,000 to
125,000 almost immediately. This
will make it necessary to increase
our active fighting forces by
raising the monthly draft from
17,000 to 35,000 per month.
MUSIC crashes in that will take us through the prologue--a
nation coming off the rails.
2 INT. LOTTERY DRAWING - DAY (FILE FOOTAGE) 2
A few well-scrubbed young men from the Youth Draft Advisory
Committee stand over a goldfish bowl containing capsules. One
of the young men pulls a capsule and reads it as if someone’s
won something--
YOUNG MAN
June 3rd. All those whose birthday
falls on June 3rd--
3 INT./EXT MAILBOXES - DAY/NIGHT 3
We see a SERIES OF TIGHT SHOTS of different kinds of
mailboxes being opened--rural, suburban, apartment building,
etc., all of it under--
REPORTER #1 (V.O.)
President Johnson announced new
monthly draft totals increasing to
35,000 per month--
REPORTER #2 (V.O.)
43,000 per month--
REPORTER #3 (V.O.)
51,000 per month--
REPORTER #4 (V.O.)
382,386 men between the ages of 18
and 24 have now been called to
duty.

4 EXT. RURAL MAILBOX TREE - DAY 4
A line of mailboxes sit on the side of a rural road. One of
them is open. We move down and see mail scattered at the feet
of a young black man, 18, slumped down on the ground, his
induction notice shaking in his hands.
MARTIN LUTHER KING (V.O.)
It should be incandescently clear
that no one who has any concern for
the integrity of life in America
today can ignore the present war--
5 INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT (FILE FOOTAGE) 5
KING continues--
MARTIN LUTHER KING
If America’s soul becomes poisoned,
part of the autopsy must read
“Vietnam”,
And we HEAR the rifle shot that killed him RING OUT as we
FLASH CUT TO:
6 FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPH--(FILE FOOTAGE) 6
Three men pointing in unison to where the shot came from.
7 EXT. CAMPAIGN RALLY - NIGHT (FILE FOOTAGE) 7
It’s pouring rain and Robert Kennedy is talking to a crowd of
people who have just heard the news--
ROBERT KENNEDY (V.O.)
What we need in the United States
is not hatred, but love and wisdom.
So I ask you to return home and say
a prayer for the family of Martin
Luther King.
We HEAR the GUN SHOT that killed Kennedy--
8 INT. AMBASSADOR HOTEL - NIGHT (FILE FOOTAGE) 8
As screaming chaos engulfs the candidate.

9 INT. LOTTERY DRAWING - DAY (FILE FOOTAGE) 9
YOUNG MAN
April 22nd. All those whose
birthday falls on April 22nd--
The MUSIC CONTINUES--
Genres: ["Historical Drama"]

Summary The scene opens with President Lyndon Johnson's announcement of increased troop deployment to Vietnam and a rise in the draft, setting a tone of national chaos. It transitions to a draft lottery drawing, highlighting the personal impact of conscription through the shocked reaction of a young black man receiving his induction notice. Martin Luther King Jr.'s voiceover critiques the Vietnam War's moral implications, leading to a flash cut of his assassination, followed by Robert Kennedy's poignant speech on responding to violence with love, which is abruptly interrupted by his own assassination. The montage concludes with another birth date announced in the draft lottery, underscoring the ongoing societal unrest.
Strengths
  • Effective use of historical footage and voiceovers
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Compelling thematic depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
  • Dialogue could be more character-specific

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets the stage for the story by establishing the historical backdrop and emotional weight of the Vietnam War era. The use of real footage and voiceovers creates a somber and reflective atmosphere, drawing the audience into the gravity of the events unfolding.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of using historical footage and voiceovers to frame the narrative is compelling and sets a strong foundation for the story to unfold.

Plot: 8

The plot is effectively introduced through the historical context and the impact of the Vietnam War on individuals, setting the stage for the conflicts and themes to be explored.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on historical events, delving into the personal and societal impacts of the Vietnam War era. The authenticity of characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 7.5

While individual characters are not yet fully developed in this scene, the presence of historical figures like Lyndon Johnson, Martin Luther King, and Robert Kennedy adds depth and significance to the narrative.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the emotional impact of the events sets the stage for potential character growth and transformation in the story.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene may be to grapple with their moral beliefs and values in the face of societal turmoil and political decisions that conflict with their conscience.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal could be to navigate the challenges presented by the escalating war, draft increases, and the impact on individuals and families.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The scene sets up the conflicts to come by establishing the societal and personal struggles resulting from the Vietnam War, but the immediate conflict is more implicit than explicit.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene, represented by the societal conflicts and moral dilemmas faced by the characters, adds depth and complexity to the narrative, creating uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes are implied through the weight of the historical events and the personal impact on the characters involved, setting the stage for intense conflicts and emotional turmoil.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively sets the stage for the story to unfold by introducing key historical events and themes that will drive the narrative forward.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in its portrayal of historical events and the personal reactions of characters to the escalating conflicts, keeping the audience intrigued.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident is the clash between the government's decisions regarding the war and the draft, and the moral convictions of individuals like Martin Luther King and others who oppose the war.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response through its portrayal of the human cost of war and the tragic events surrounding figures like Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue serves the purpose of conveying important historical information and setting the emotional tone, but it could be more engaging and character-specific in future scenes.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its compelling subject matter, emotional resonance, and the tension created by the unfolding events and conflicts.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing effectively builds tension and emotional impact, guiding the audience through the rapid shifts in tone and setting, enhancing the scene's overall effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8.5

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for the genre, utilizing visual cues and transitions to enhance the storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively transitions between different locations and characters, maintaining coherence and narrative flow.


Critique
  • The opening scene effectively uses archival footage and dramatic music to immerse the audience in the historical context of the Vietnam War era, creating a sense of national chaos and unrest that aligns with the film's themes. This montage style is a strong choice for establishing the socio-political backdrop, as it mirrors the disorientation and urgency of the time period, helping viewers understand the motivations behind the characters' activism in later scenes. However, the rapid succession of voiceovers, flash cuts, and historical events can feel overwhelming, potentially alienating audiences who are not familiar with the history, as it prioritizes exposition over emotional connection in the first few minutes.
  • One strength is the humanizing element, such as the shot of the young black man receiving his induction notice, which adds a personal stake to the broader historical narrative and foreshadows the racial and social injustices explored in the script. This moment effectively contrasts with the impersonal archival footage, creating a poignant emotional anchor. That said, the scene relies heavily on voiceovers from figures like MLK and RFK, which, while authentic and impactful, can come across as didactic, making the scene feel more like a history lesson than a cinematic hook. This might reduce the immediacy and engagement, especially since the main characters and the central conflict (the trial) are not introduced until later scenes.
  • The use of file footage for assassinations and public announcements is visually compelling and heightens the drama, but the transitions between elements—such as cutting back to the draft lottery at the end—can feel repetitive or unresolved, lacking a clear narrative progression that ties directly into the story's arc. As the first scene in a 60-scene script, it sets a tone of chaos well, but it might benefit from a more focused structure to better foreshadow the trial and the characters' involvement, ensuring that the prologue doesn't overshadow the character-driven narrative that follows in scenes like the activists' gatherings.
  • Musically, the ongoing dramatic score is effective in maintaining tension, but it could be more nuanced to allow key moments, like the young man's reaction to his draft notice, to breathe and resonate emotionally without being overshadowed. Overall, while the scene successfully conveys the era's turmoil, its montage-heavy approach might sacrifice depth for breadth, making it challenging for viewers to form an immediate connection to the story's core elements, which could be refined to better balance historical context with narrative intrigue.
Suggestions
  • To improve pacing, consider interspersing the archival footage with brief, fictional establishing shots or subtle character glimpses (e.g., a quick cut to a young activist watching TV) to create a smoother transition into the main story and reduce the feeling of information overload.
  • Enhance emotional engagement by extending key visual moments, such as the young black man's reaction, with added sound design or close-ups to allow the audience to connect more deeply, ensuring the scene not only informs but also evokes empathy early on.
  • Refine the use of voiceovers by integrating them more organically, perhaps by having them overlap with visual elements in a way that feels conversational or reactive, or by reducing their frequency to let the imagery speak for itself, making the scene less expository and more cinematic.
  • Strengthen the hook by ending the scene with a teaser that directly links to the trial or the activists, such as a fade to a newspaper headline about the Chicago 7 or a subtle introduction of a main character, to build anticipation for the narrative that unfolds in subsequent scenes.
  • Experiment with the music and editing to vary the rhythm, using slower cuts for emotional beats and faster ones for chaos, to better guide the audience's emotional journey and ensure the scene's tone aligns seamlessly with the rest of the script.



Scene 2 - Rallying Voices: The Call to Protest
10 INT. CAMPUS AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 10
RENNIE
We were there.
RENNIE DAVIS, mid-20’s, wearing a short-sleeved white shirt
and tie, is speaking to a standing room only crowd of
students. In contrast to the cliche of the times, most of the
students are fairly conservatively dressed. On the movie
screen is footage of a Vietnamese village--
RENNIE (CONT'D)
We didn’t see Vietnamese soldiers.
What we saw were population
centers. Schoolhouses, pagodas,
women and children.
Suddenly the movie screen fills with huge explosions of
yellow, black and searing white.
RENNIE (CONT'D)
And that’s American napalm. The
women and children were burned
alive. Tom?
TOM HAYDEN steps out from the darkness. He’s 30, handsome and
serious.
TOM
The Democratic Party is going to
nominate Hubert Humphrey next month
in Chicago.
We ID the two men with a chyron--
Tom Hayden Rennie Davis
Leaders of the Students for a Democratic Society (SDS)

TOM (CONT'D)
When it comes to the war, when it
comes to social justice, there’s
simply not enough of a difference
between Hubert Humphrey and Richard
Nixon to make a difference.
APPLAUSE--
TOM (CONT'D)
And so we’re going to Chicago.
The APPLAUSE BUILDS--
TOM (CONT'D)
Young people by busloads will go to
Chicago to show our solidarity and
our disgust and most importantly--
11 UNDERGROUND CLUB - NIGHT 11
ABBIE
--to get laid by someone you just
met.
The place is seedy and packed with people and smoke.
JERRY
536,000 of us sent to a country not
one of these bumper sticker
patriots in Washington could find
on a map with a motherfuckin’ map!
We ID the two men with a chyron--
Abbie Hoffman Jerry Rubin
Leaders of the Youth International Party (Yippies)
ABBIE
We’re goin’ to Chicago. Anyone who
stays in the park, sings Woody
Guthrie, they’re gonna be fine. But
the cops are gonna be a half-inch
from losin’ their fuckin’ minds
‘cause Daley’s gonna wind ‘em up to
make sure of it. We’re goin’ to
Chicago peacefully. We’re going
peacefully, but if we’re met there
with violence, you better believe
we’re gonna meet that violence with-
-
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a campus auditorium, activist Rennie Davis addresses a packed crowd, showing harrowing footage of napalm attacks in Vietnam and introducing Tom Hayden, who criticizes the Democratic National Convention and calls for a large protest in Chicago. The scene shifts to a smoky underground club where Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin engage a different audience with humor and passionate rhetoric against the Vietnam War, emphasizing their intent to protest peacefully but warning of potential violent responses to police aggression. The tone is a mix of urgent activism and irreverent defiance, building tension as the characters prepare for the upcoming confrontation in Chicago.
Strengths
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Historical context integration
  • Character depth and motivation
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual variety
  • Some exposition-heavy moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the emotional intensity and ideological fervor of the characters, setting a strong foundation for the themes and conflicts to unfold. The powerful dialogue and historical context create a compelling narrative that engages the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of highlighting the anti-war activism and dissent during a tumultuous period in history is compelling and relevant. The scene effectively conveys the ideological clashes and moral dilemmas faced by the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through the characters' discussions and decisions regarding their activism and opposition to the war. The scene sets up key conflicts and motivations that will drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to depicting historical events and political activism, offering a nuanced portrayal of the characters' motivations and conflicts. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined through their dialogue and actions, showcasing their convictions and determination to effect change. Their interactions reveal their individual personalities and roles within the activist groups.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their resolve and determination as they prepare to take action against the backdrop of escalating conflict. Their convictions are tested, setting the stage for potential growth and transformation.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to raise awareness about the atrocities of the Vietnam War and mobilize support for their cause. This reflects their deeper desire for social justice, peace, and activism.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to organize a peaceful protest in Chicago to demonstrate solidarity and opposition to the political establishment. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances of the upcoming Democratic Party nomination and the need to make a visible impact through activism.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is characterized by a high level of ideological conflict and tension, as the characters grapple with their opposition to the war and the establishment. The clash of beliefs and strategies sets the stage for further confrontations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing internal doubts, external threats, and societal resistance to their activism. The uncertainty of the protest outcome and the conflicting viewpoints create a compelling opposition.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters prepare to challenge the status quo and confront the authorities in their pursuit of social justice. The potential risks and consequences of their actions add tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by establishing the characters' motivations, conflicts, and upcoming actions. It lays the groundwork for future developments and confrontations, driving the narrative towards a critical turning point.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between characters, the looming threat of violence, and the uncertain outcome of the planned protest in Chicago. The unexpected humor and serious tone add layers of unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the idealism and activism of the protagonists against the political establishment and societal norms. It challenges the protagonists' beliefs in the system's ability to bring about meaningful change and questions the morality of war and social injustice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, tapping into themes of injustice, resistance, and solidarity. The characters' impassioned speeches and the historical context heighten the emotional impact of the scene.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is impactful and thought-provoking, reflecting the characters' deep-seated beliefs and frustrations. It drives the scene forward and establishes the ideological underpinnings of the characters' actions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic dialogue, contrasting viewpoints, and the sense of impending conflict and activism. The characters' passionate speeches and the buildup towards the protest in Chicago create tension and intrigue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing the intense dialogue with moments of reflection, building tension towards the climax of the planned protest. The rhythm of the scene maintains the audience's interest and emotional investment.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the conventions of screenplay format, with clear scene descriptions, character introductions, and dialogue formatting. The visual cues and character identifiers enhance the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre by introducing the setting, characters, conflicts, and setting up the narrative tension effectively. The transitions between the auditorium and the underground club maintain the pacing and engagement.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the anti-war movement's momentum by transitioning from the historical chaos of Scene 1 into active activism, using contrasting settings and character introductions to highlight different factions within the protest movement. This builds a sense of urgency and sets up the central conflict of the script, but the abrupt shift from the campus auditorium to the underground club could feel disjointed, potentially disrupting the audience's immersion and making the narrative flow less seamless. Additionally, while the chyrons provide necessary historical context, they can come across as overly expository, which might distance viewers from forming an immediate emotional connection with the characters.
  • Character development is introduced efficiently through dialogue and brief descriptions, capturing the essence of figures like Rennie Davis, Tom Hayden, Abbie Hoffman, and Jerry Rubin. However, the portrayals risk simplifying complex historical figures; for instance, Abbie's flippant remark about going to Chicago to 'get laid' may reinforce stereotypes of 1960s counterculture as frivolous, potentially undermining the gravity of the anti-war message established in Scene 1. This could make the scene feel less nuanced, as it doesn't fully explore the internal motivations or personal stakes of these activists, leaving them somewhat one-dimensional at this early stage.
  • The dialogue is period-authentic and serves to advance the plot by outlining the protesters' plans and ideologies, which is crucial for a screenplay with historical underpinnings. That said, some lines, such as Tom's straightforward criticism of Humphrey and Nixon, might come across as too didactic or preachy, lacking subtext or conflict that could engage the audience more deeply. The humor in Abbie and Jerry's sections adds levity, but it contrasts sharply with the tragic tone of Scene 1, which could jar viewers and weaken the cumulative emotional impact if not balanced carefully.
  • Visually, the scene uses elements like the movie screen footage of napalm attacks and the smoky, crowded club to evoke the era's unrest, creating a vivid atmosphere that ties into the broader script's themes. However, the static nature of the settings—speeches in an auditorium and a club—limits dynamic action, making the scene feel more talkative than cinematic. This could be an opportunity to better integrate visual storytelling to show rather than tell the activists' passion, especially given the montage style of Scene 1, which might set an expectation for more varied pacing and imagery.
  • Overall, as the second scene in a 60-scene script, it successfully hooks the audience by introducing key players and escalating tension toward the Chicago protests. Yet, it could strengthen its role as a narrative bridge by more explicitly referencing the assassinations and draft escalations from Scene 1, ensuring thematic continuity and reinforcing the sense of societal unrest. Without this, the scene risks feeling isolated, and the building tension—particularly Abbie's warning of potential violence—might not land as powerfully if the emotional stakes aren't heightened through subtler, more integrated storytelling.
Suggestions
  • To smooth the transition between the auditorium and the club, consider adding a narrative link, such as a voice-over or a visual motif (e.g., a shared protest sign or music cue) that connects the two settings, making the shift feel more organic and less abrupt.
  • Enhance character depth by incorporating small, revealing actions or subtext in the dialogue; for example, show Rennie or Tom reacting personally to the napalm footage before speaking, to humanize them and reduce reliance on chyrons for identification.
  • Refine the dialogue to include more conflict and nuance, such as having a character challenge Abbie's humor during his speech, which could add tension and make the exchanges feel more dynamic and less expository.
  • Incorporate more visual elements to break up the dialogue-heavy scenes, like close-ups on audience reactions or symbolic props (e.g., protest signs or draft cards), to emphasize the movement's energy and make the scene more engaging and cinematic.
  • Strengthen thematic ties to Scene 1 by having a character briefly reference the assassinations or draft lottery in their speech, creating a direct emotional thread that amplifies the stakes and ensures the scene builds on the established tone of chaos and unrest.



Scene 3 - Preparing for Peace: A Family's Dialogue on Non-Violence
12 EXT. SUBURBAN DRIVEWAY - DAY 12
DAVE
Non-violence. Always non-violence
and that’s without exception.
DAVE, 55, who looks like (and is) a Boy Scout Troop leader,
is talking to his wife and young son as he loads a suitcase
and some material for making placards into an old station
wagon.
We ID the man with a chyron--
David Dellinger
Leader of the Mobilization to End the War in Vietnam (The
Mobe)
SON
What if the police start hitting
you?
DAVE
Why would the police start hitting
me?
SON
What if they do?
DAVE
I’ll duck.
MRS. DELLINGER
David. He watches the news.
DAVE
Why?
MRS. DELLINGER
You taught him to!
DAVE
Guys. I’ve organized a hundred
protests. This one isn’t going to
be any different in that it almost
certainly won’t work. The police--
MRS. DELLINGER
I’m not worried about the police.
And I’m not worried about Hayden
and Rennie Davis. I’m worried about
Hoffman and Rubin.

DAVE
It’s the Democratic National
Convention, honey, every camera in
America is gonna be pointed at it
and Daley isn’t gonna let his city
become a theater of war. And
Hoffman and Rubin are geniuses...in
their own special way.
MRS. DELLINGER
Oh Jesus--
DAVE
(re the SON)
He’s got a Scout meeting tonight at
SON
Dad--
DAVE
If the police try to arrest me I’ll
do what I always do and what I’ve
taught you to do, which is what?
(beat)
Which is what? Tell me, bud.
SON
Very calmly and very politely--
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a suburban driveway, Dave Dellinger, a Boy Scout Troop leader and activist, prepares for a protest against the Vietnam War while discussing the principles of non-violence with his wife and young son. As they load materials into their station wagon, concerns about potential violence arise, particularly regarding certain activists. Dave reassures his family, emphasizing the importance of peaceful protest and the influence of media presence. The scene highlights the family's anxieties juxtaposed with Dave's optimistic outlook, culminating in a moment where his son recites how to respond calmly if arrested.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Effective blending of personal and political themes
  • Tension-building dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual action
  • Reliance on dialogue for exposition

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and uncertainty of the era, blending personal relationships with political activism in a compelling way. The dialogue is sharp and reveals underlying anxieties, setting the stage for the larger conflicts to come.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of juxtaposing personal convictions with political activism during a tumultuous period in American history is compelling and sets the stage for exploring themes of sacrifice, idealism, and the impact of social movements.

Plot: 8

The plot advances by introducing key characters, conflicts, and motivations, setting the stage for the larger narrative surrounding the Chicago protests. The scene effectively establishes the stakes and challenges faced by the protagonists.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on protest activism during the Vietnam War era, focusing on the personal and political dilemmas faced by individuals involved in non-violent resistance. The dialogue feels authentic and reveals nuanced character relationships.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined, with distinct personalities and motivations that drive the narrative forward. The family dynamics and the tensions between personal beliefs and political activism add depth to the characters.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle shifts in their perspectives and priorities, setting the stage for potential growth and transformation as they confront the escalating tensions and conflicts ahead.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain his commitment to non-violence and activism despite the potential risks and uncertainties of the upcoming protest. This reflects his deeper need for social justice, his fear of violence, and his desire to make a meaningful impact through peaceful protest.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to participate in and organize a protest at the Democratic National Convention without resorting to violence and to ensure the safety of his family during the event. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances of political tension and the challenges of maintaining non-violent protest in a potentially volatile situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is marked by internal and external conflicts, including the tension between personal safety and political activism, the looming threat of violence at the Chicago protests, and the ideological clashes between different activist groups.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create uncertainty and conflict, particularly in the differing perspectives on protest tactics and the potential risks involved. The audience is left wondering how these conflicts will play out.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters grapple with the risks of political activism, the threat of violence at the Chicago protests, and the personal sacrifices required to stand up for their beliefs. The scene sets the stage for intense confrontations and moral dilemmas.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, motivations, and relationships that will shape the narrative trajectory. It sets up the upcoming events and establishes the central themes of the screenplay.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the conflicting viewpoints among the characters and the uncertain outcome of the protest. The potential for unexpected developments adds intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the differing views on protest tactics and the role of authority. The protagonist's commitment to non-violence clashes with his wife's concerns about potential violence from certain protest leaders, highlighting a tension between idealism and pragmatism.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a sense of unease and concern, tapping into the emotional turmoil of the characters as they navigate the challenges of activism and family responsibilities. The stakes are high, and the emotional impact is palpable.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp and reflective of the characters' internal conflicts and external challenges. It effectively conveys the anxieties and uncertainties of the time period while setting up the ideological clashes to come.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue, the tension between characters, and the anticipation of the protest event. The mix of personal relationships and political activism keeps the audience invested.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and character dynamics through well-timed dialogue exchanges and moments of reflection. It maintains a good rhythm that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to standard screenplay conventions, making the scene easy to read and visualize. The use of chyrons for character identification enhances clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional screenplay format with clear character introductions, dialogue exchanges, and scene descriptions. It effectively sets up the conflict and stakes for the upcoming protest.


Critique
  • This scene effectively introduces David Dellinger as a character, emphasizing his commitment to non-violence and his role as a family man, which provides a humanizing contrast to the more radical activists like Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin. It helps the audience understand Dellinger's philosophy early on, aligning with the overall script's exploration of diverse approaches within the anti-war movement. However, the dialogue feels somewhat expository, with Dellinger boasting about organizing 'a hundred protests' and predicting the event's outcome, which could come across as telling rather than showing, potentially reducing the scene's dramatic tension and making it feel like a info-dump for the audience.
  • The family dynamic is portrayed naturally, with the wife's specific concerns about Hoffman and Rubin adding depth to her character and foreshadowing potential conflicts in the story. This ties into the thematic contrast between non-violent and provocative activism, but it might not resonate as strongly if viewers haven't fully grasped who Hoffman and Rubin are from Scene 2. Additionally, the scene's placement right after the high-energy, chaotic montages of Scenes 1 and 2 could disrupt the pacing, as it shifts to a quieter, domestic setting that might feel anticlimactic, slowing the buildup of tension toward the Chicago convention.
  • Visually, the scene is straightforward and functional, with Dellinger loading the car serving as a simple action to ground the dialogue, but it lacks cinematic flair. The suburban driveway setting is appropriate for establishing Dellinger's everyday life, but it could benefit from more descriptive elements to enhance atmosphere, such as subtle visual cues reflecting the era's unrest (e.g., a newspaper headline about the war in the background). The ending, with the son reciting the non-violence principle, is educational and reinforces the theme, but it borders on being too didactic, potentially alienating viewers by feeling preachy rather than organic.
  • In terms of character development, the scene successfully humanizes Dellinger by showing his interactions with his family, making him relatable and sympathetic. However, the light-hearted response to serious questions—like joking about ducking from police—might undermine the gravity of the historical context established in prior scenes, where assassinations and war escalations are depicted. This could weaken the emotional impact, as the scene doesn't fully capitalize on the fear and stakes implied by the draft and violence in Scene 1, or the activist fervor in Scene 2.
  • Overall, the scene serves as a necessary character introduction and thematic setup, contrasting with the previous scenes' broader historical scope. Yet, it could be more engaging by integrating more conflict or subtext, such as exploring the wife's unspoken fears more deeply or showing Dellinger's internal conflict about leaving his family. As the third scene in a 60-scene script, it risks feeling isolated if not better connected to the narrative arc, and the dialogue, while authentic, occasionally lacks subtlety, making the characters' motivations too explicit.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling to make the scene more dynamic; for example, show Dellinger pausing to look at a photo of his family or a war-related item in the car, which could subtly convey his internal conflict and add layers without relying solely on dialogue.
  • Enhance the pacing by tightening the dialogue and reducing expository elements; focus on showing Dellinger's experience through actions or subtle references, and consider adding a small moment of tension, like a news report playing on a radio in the background, to bridge the gap with the chaos of Scenes 1 and 2.
  • Deepen character interactions to add emotional depth; for instance, have the wife express her concerns more personally, perhaps referencing a past event from Dellinger's life, to make the conversation feel less like a lecture and more like a genuine family discussion, increasing audience investment.
  • Balance the tone with the previous scenes by including a brief visual or auditory callback, such as distant sounds of protests or a newspaper headline, to maintain the sense of urgency and connect this intimate moment to the larger historical context.
  • Refine the ending to make it less didactic; instead of the son reciting lines word-for-word, show him demonstrating the principle through a small action, like practicing a calm response in a role-play, to make it more natural and engaging while still reinforcing the non-violence theme.



Scene 4 - Defiance at the Headquarters
13 INT. BLACK PANTHER HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT 13
BOBBY
Fuck the motherfuckers up.
BOBBY, 32, is talking to his girlfriend, SONDRA, and getting
ready to leave. We’ll get a tour of Panther headquarters--
printing presses, maps, guns, body guards and women, a few of
them white.
BOBBY (CONT'D)
They leave us alone and
everything’s cool. They tangle,
disrupt, intimidate, they play it
fast and loose with the First
Amendment--
SONDRA
Robert--
BOBBY
--they start breaking heads, then
no, we will not be on our way.

We ID BOBBY with a chyron--
Bobby Seale
National Chairman of the Black Panther Party
SONDRA
You can’t give this speech in
Chicago.
BOBBY
Fred Hampton wants me there.
SONDRA
Let Fred give the speech.
BOBBY
Between Hayden and Hoffman there
could be five-thousand people. It’d
be nice to talk to five-thousand
people.
SONDRA
Not while you’re in trouble in
Connecticut.
BOBBY
Yes while I’m in trouble in--I’m
the head of the Black Panthers,
Sondra, when the hell am I not
gonna be in trouble?!
SONDRA
You’re gonna be in a lot more of it
if you stand up and say “Fry the
pigs”!
BOBBY
“If they attack you”, you’re taking
it out of context.
SONDRA
So will every white person in
America, cops won’t give a shit
about context and you don’t have
enough protection in Chicago!
BOBBY
There’s no place to be right now
but in it.
SONDRA
But fry the pigs?

BOBBY
“IF THEY--
SONDRA
Dr. King--
BOBBY
--is dead! He has a dream? Well now
he has a fuckin’ bullet in his
head. Martin’s dead. Malcolm’s
dead. Medgar’s dead. Bobby’s dead.
Jesus is dead. They tried it
peaceful. We’re gonna try something
else.
(pause)
Sondra, I’ll be there for four
hours, that’s it.
SONDRA takes a pistol from a rack--
SONDRA
You at least gonna take one of
these?
BOBBY
If I knew how to use that I
wouldn’t need to make speeches.
14 CLOSE ON A TYPEWRITER 14
We see shards of an FBI confidential memo being banged out--
--Bureau letter of 5/10/68 instructed all offices to submit
detailed analysis of potential counter-intelligence action
against New Left organizations and Key Activists--
Genres: ["Drama","Political"]

Summary In the Black Panther Headquarters at night, Bobby Seale prepares to leave for a speech in Chicago, igniting a tense argument with his girlfriend Sondra, who fears for his safety due to his legal troubles and the provocative nature of his speech. Despite her concerns, Bobby defends his decision, citing the failures of peaceful methods and the dangers he faces as a leader. The scene showcases the militant atmosphere of the headquarters, filled with revolutionary tools and a sense of urgency. Sondra urges him to reconsider or take a gun for protection, but Bobby remains resolute. The scene concludes with a close-up of a typewriter typing an FBI memo about counter-intelligence actions, highlighting the external threats they face.
Strengths
  • Intense character dynamics
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Potential for misinterpretation of character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and emotional depth of the characters, driving home the high stakes and conflicting ideologies at play. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, showcasing the characters' strong convictions and the challenges they face.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the personal and political dilemmas of a prominent activist during a tumultuous period is compelling and thought-provoking. It adds depth to the overall narrative and themes of the screenplay.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through the characters' interactions and decisions, setting up future conflicts and developments. The scene contributes significantly to the overall narrative arc and thematic exploration.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on the civil rights movement, exploring the complexities of activism, the internal conflicts of the characters, and the moral dilemmas they face. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their motivations are clearly portrayed, especially Bobby Seale and Sondra. Their conflicting perspectives and unwavering beliefs add layers to the scene and drive the emotional core of the story.

Character Changes: 8

Bobby Seale undergoes a subtle but significant shift in his resolve and perspective throughout the scene, reflecting the internal struggles and external pressures he faces. This character development adds depth to the narrative.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to stand up for his beliefs and continue fighting for civil rights despite the risks and challenges he faces. This reflects his deeper need for justice, his fears of failure or compromise, and his desire to make a difference.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to deliver a speech in Chicago and address a large audience to spread his message. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances of his activism and the challenges he faces in balancing his responsibilities and safety.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, showcasing the characters' struggles with personal beliefs, safety concerns, and the larger societal issues at hand. The tension is palpable and drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and the protagonist facing challenges from both external forces and internal dilemmas. The audience is left unsure of the outcome, adding to the scene's intensity.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident in the characters' risky decisions, ideological clashes, and personal safety concerns. The scene conveys the life-or-death consequences of their actions, heightening the tension and drama.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by introducing key conflicts, character dynamics, and thematic elements that will shape future events. It sets the stage for further developments and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the characters' conflicting viewpoints and the uncertain outcome of the protagonist's decisions, creating tension and suspense for the audience.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident is the debate between peaceful protest and more aggressive action in the face of oppression. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in non-violence versus the need for a more forceful response to injustice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, tapping into themes of defiance, loss, and determination. The characters' impassioned dialogue and actions heighten the emotional impact of the scene.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and reveals the characters' inner turmoil and convictions. It effectively conveys the ideological clashes and personal stakes at play, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high emotional stakes, intense dialogue, and the conflict between characters that keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing the emotional beats and character dynamics to unfold naturally. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The use of chyrons and close-ups enhances the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension through dialogue and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively introduces Bobby Seale and the Black Panther Party, providing a stark contrast to the non-violent ethos of David Dellinger in the previous scene. This highlights the ideological diversity among the activists, which is crucial for the overall narrative of the Chicago 7 trial, showing how different factions within the anti-war movement could lead to internal and external conflicts. However, the scene risks feeling somewhat one-dimensional in its portrayal of Bobby and Sondra's relationship, as Sondra primarily serves as a foil to express fear and concern without much independent agency or depth, which could make her character less memorable and reduce the emotional stakes.
  • The dialogue is passionate and historically grounded, effectively conveying Bobby's frustration and defiance through references to assassinated leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. This ties into the broader themes of the screenplay, such as the failure of peaceful protest and the escalation of militancy, as established in Scene 1's chaotic tone. That said, the repetition in the back-and-forth about 'fry the pigs' and Sondra's interruptions can feel redundant, potentially diluting the tension and making the exchange less dynamic. A more varied rhythm in the dialogue could better sustain viewer engagement and avoid predictability.
  • Visually, the tour of the Black Panther Headquarters is a strong element that immerses the audience in the organization's militant atmosphere, with details like printing presses, maps, guns, and diverse members adding authenticity and world-building. This contrasts well with the suburban setting of Scene 3, emphasizing the spectrum of activism. However, the integration of this visual tour with the central conversation could be smoother; it sometimes feels like an expository aside rather than an organic part of the scene, which might disrupt the flow and make the scene feel longer than necessary.
  • Thematically, the scene builds suspense by foreshadowing external threats with the FBI memo at the end, connecting to the surveillance motifs in later scenes (e.g., Scene 5). This ending is a effective cliffhanger that escalates the stakes for Bobby and hints at broader governmental opposition, aligning with the screenplay's focus on conspiracy and injustice. Nonetheless, the abrupt cut to the typewriter might lack a strong transitional link to the dialogue, potentially feeling tacked on rather than a natural progression, which could weaken the scene's cohesion and emotional payoff.
  • In terms of pacing and structure, as Scene 4 out of 60, it successfully advances character introduction and plot setup by establishing Bobby's motivations and risks, while maintaining the mounting tension from previous scenes. However, the scene's focus on interpersonal conflict might not fully capitalize on the opportunity to explore Bobby's internal struggles or the broader implications of his actions, making it feel somewhat isolated. Additionally, while the historical references are powerful, they could be more nuanced to avoid oversimplification, ensuring that the audience understands the complexity of Bobby's position without relying too heavily on familiar tropes.
Suggestions
  • Develop Sondra's character further by giving her more personal stakes or backstory in the dialogue, such as referencing her own experiences with violence or loss, to make her objections more compelling and the relationship dynamic richer, enhancing emotional engagement.
  • Vary the dialogue rhythm by incorporating more interruptions, pauses, or non-verbal cues (e.g., Bobby pacing or handling a gun) to heighten tension and make the argument feel more natural and intense, drawing the audience deeper into the conflict.
  • Integrate the visual tour of the headquarters more fluidly with the conversation by having elements of the environment (like a map or a weapon) trigger specific lines of dialogue, ensuring it serves the narrative rather than feeling like separate exposition, which could improve pacing and visual storytelling.
  • Strengthen the transition to the FBI memo by having Bobby or Sondra mention surveillance fears earlier in the scene, creating a thematic through-line that makes the ending feel more earned and connected, thus amplifying the foreshadowing and building suspense more effectively.
  • Add subtle emotional layers to Bobby's references to assassinated leaders by including brief flashbacks or sensory details (e.g., a sound effect of a gunshot), to increase the scene's impact and tie it more closely to Scene 1's archival footage, reinforcing the screenplay's thematic continuity without overwhelming the scene.



Scene 5 - Ignition of Rebellion
15 INT. COLLEGE CLASSROOM - DAY 15
JERRY’s demonstrating to the students--
JERRY
It’s named after the Russian
Commissar Vyacheslav Mikhailovich
Molotov. You start with a glass
bottle.
16 CLOSE ON TYPEWRITER 16
--believe that the non-conformism in dress and speech,
neglect of personal cleanliness--

17 COLLEGE CLASSROOM 17
JERRY
You pack the styrofoam, and now
your cherry bomb...
18 CLOSE ON TYPEWRITER 18
--use of obscenities, drugs, sexual promiscuity--
19 COLLEGE CLASSROOM 19
JERRY
Some chewing gum around the top.
20 CLOSE ON TYPEWRITER 20
--these individuals are apparently getting strength and more
brazen in their attempts to destroy American society--
21 COLLEGE CLASSROOM 21
JERRY lights a cigarette and fixes it to the top of the
bottle with the chewing gum.
JERRY (CONT'D)
And a fuse.
22 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 22
It’s almost completely dark as we hear a student shout--
STUDENT
Now!
And a small group of students throw Molotov cocktails which
crash against the facade of a campus building. The explosions
light up the building and reveal that it’s a U.S. ARMED
FORCES RECRUITMENT CENTER.
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Historical"]

Summary In this tense scene, Jerry teaches his college students how to create a Molotov cocktail, explaining its origins and components. Intercut with his demonstration are close-ups of an FBI memo detailing the perceived threats of counter-culture individuals. The scene shifts to night, where the students, fueled by Jerry's instruction, throw the cocktails at a U.S. Armed Forces Recruitment Center, igniting a violent act of rebellion against authority.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Effective portrayal of radical activism
  • Strong character motivations
Weaknesses
  • Potential glorification of violence
  • Limited exploration of consequences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the escalating tension and defiance of the characters, setting the stage for potential conflict and highlighting the radical nature of the student activism.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of radical student activism and the use of Molotov cocktails as a symbol of rebellion are effectively portrayed, adding depth to the political and historical themes of the screenplay.

Plot: 8

The scene contributes to the overall plot by introducing a key element of conflict and rebellion, setting the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on activism and rebellion by depicting a controversial teaching moment that blurs the lines between education and incitement to violence. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' defiance and determination to challenge the status quo are well-defined, adding complexity to their motivations and actions.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo a transformation as they move from discussion and demonstration to actual violent protest, showcasing their evolution and commitment to their cause.

Internal Goal: 8

Jerry's internal goal in this scene is to empower and incite his students to take action against what he perceives as societal injustices. His desire is to inspire rebellion and resistance among the students.

External Goal: 7

Jerry's external goal is to demonstrate the practical process of making and using Molotov cocktails to his students, as a form of protest or direct action against the establishment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, as the characters challenge authority and engage in provocative actions that have far-reaching consequences.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the characters face moral dilemmas and societal consequences for their actions, creating uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the scene are evident as the characters engage in risky and potentially dangerous actions, challenging authority and risking severe consequences for their activism.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a key conflict and setting the stage for further developments in the narrative, driving the plot towards a critical turning point.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it challenges societal norms and expectations, leading to unexpected character actions and moral dilemmas.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethics of using violence as a means of protest. Jerry's belief in radical activism clashes with societal norms and legal boundaries.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of urgency and defiance, eliciting strong emotions from the audience as the characters take bold and risky actions.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the rebellious spirit of the characters and their commitment to their cause, setting the tone for the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its controversial subject matter, the tension between characters, and the escalating conflict that drives the narrative forward.

Pacing: 8

The pacing effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment of action that propels the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting effectively conveys the rapid shifts in action and dialogue, enhancing the scene's intensity and subversive tone.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure with intercutting between Jerry's demonstration and the students' subsequent actions, creating a sense of urgency and escalation.


Critique
  • The intercutting between Jerry's Molotov cocktail demonstration and the FBI typewriter memo is a strong visual technique that effectively parallels the radical activism of the counter-culture with government surveillance, reinforcing the script's overarching themes of paranoia, repression, and societal conflict. This method helps the reader understand the escalating tensions of the era, showing how individual actions (like Jerry's tutorial) are mirrored by institutional responses, creating a sense of inevitability and dread that ties back to the historical context established in earlier scenes, such as the FBI memo in Scene 4 and the non-violence emphasis in Scene 3 for ironic contrast.
  • However, the scene lacks depth in character development, particularly for Jerry Rubin, who is portrayed as a one-dimensional instructor delivering expository dialogue without much emotional nuance or personal stakes. This makes it harder for the audience to connect with him on a human level, as his actions feel more like a plot device than a reflection of his personality or motivations. For instance, while Jerry's demonstration could highlight his charisma or internal conflict (e.g., excitement versus moral doubt), it comes across as purely functional, reducing the scene's potential for dramatic engagement and missing an opportunity to build on his character from Scene 2, where he was shown as passionate and defiant.
  • The transition from the college classroom during the day to the street at night is abrupt and disrupts the scene's flow, potentially confusing the audience about the passage of time or the connection between the two events. This jump could benefit from smoother bridging elements, such as a time-lapse or a narrative cue, to maintain continuity and heighten suspense. Additionally, the nighttime action feels somewhat disconnected from the daytime setup, which might weaken the cause-and-effect relationship between Jerry's teaching and the students' actions, making the escalation less believable or immediate.
  • Dialogue in the scene is heavily expository, with Jerry's lines serving to explain the Molotov cocktail's components and origins in a straightforward manner that lacks creativity or subtext. This can make the scene feel didactic rather than cinematic, as it prioritizes information delivery over character-driven interaction or tension. For example, Jerry's factual recitation might alienate viewers if not balanced with more dynamic exchanges, and it doesn't fully capitalize on the opportunity to show the students' reactions or questions, which could add layers of conflict or humor.
  • Overall, the scene effectively advances the plot by illustrating the radicals' tactics and the FBI's counter-measures, fitting into the script's montage-like structure that builds toward the Chicago protests. However, it risks feeling repetitive with the FBI memo intercuts if not varied enough, as similar elements appeared in Scene 4, potentially diluting their impact. This scene could better serve the narrative by emphasizing its role in contrasting the non-violent approaches (like in Scene 3) with more militant strategies, helping the reader grasp the internal divisions within the activist movement, but it currently underplays this thematic potential in favor of visual spectacle.
Suggestions
  • Enhance character depth by adding Jerry's personal reflections or emotional beats during the demonstration, such as a moment of hesitation or a wry comment about the irony of teaching destruction, to make him more relatable and tie into his established traits from earlier scenes.
  • Improve the transition between day and night by inserting a brief establishing shot or a line of dialogue that indicates the passage of time, such as Jerry saying, 'Practice what you preach—let's take this to the streets tonight,' to create a smoother flow and strengthen the causal link between the classroom and the action.
  • Make the dialogue more engaging by incorporating student interactions, like questions or reactions (e.g., a student asking, 'Isn't this dangerous?' to spark debate), which could add conflict, humor, or tension, making the scene less expository and more dynamic.
  • Vary the intercutting with the FBI memo to avoid repetition; for instance, include different angles or evolving text that reveals new details about surveillance tactics, ensuring it complements rather than echoes Scene 4, and heightens the sense of escalating threat.
  • Strengthen thematic connections by referencing the non-violence debate from Scene 3 or the FBI's actions in Scene 4, perhaps through Jerry's internal monologue or a visual callback, to underscore the irony and deepen the scene's contribution to the overall narrative of activist fragmentation and government overreach.



Scene 6 - Divided Strategies: Focus vs. Provocation
23 INT. SDS OFFICE - NIGHT 23
TOM HAYDEN’s looking at a homemade map on the wall of the
route from Grant Park to the convention center as volunteers
roll out leaflets on a printing press. RENNIE DAVIS is on the
phone.
TOM
(calling)
Is that Jerry?

RENNIE
Yeah.
TOM
Tell him to tell Abbie that we’re
going to Chicago to end the war and
not to fuck around.
RENNIE
(into phone)
Tom says to tell Abbie that we’re
going to Chicago to end the war and
not to fuck around.
INTERCUT WITH:
24 INT. CRASH PAD - SAME TIME 24
JERRY’s on the phone and ABBIE’s getting high with some
friends.
JERRY
Hayden says we’re going to Chicago
to end the war and not to fuck
around.
ABBIE
Tell Hayden I went to Brandeis and
I can do both.
25 INT. UNDERGROUND CLUB - NIGHT 25
It’s the same place and the same night we first saw ABBIE and
JERRY.
ABBIE
People say, you know, Abbie, are
you concerned about an overreaction
from the cops?
26 INT. PRESS ROOM - DAY (FILE FOOTAGE) 26
MAYOR RICHARD DALEY at the podium--
DALEY
I have issued by an order to shoot
to kill any arsonist or anyone with
a Molotov cocktail in his hand.

27 INT. UNDERGROUND CLUB 27
ABBIE
We’re not concerned about it.
28 EXT. TARMAC - DAY (FILE FOOTAGE) 28
Rows and rows of National Guardsmen are coming off a
transport plane--
REPORTER #5
Four units of the Illinois National
Guard, totaling 5000 troops, have
been deployed to Chicago--
29 INT. UNDERGROUND CLUB 29
ABBIE
We’re counting on it.
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Historical"]

Summary In scene 6, set in the SDS office at night, Tom Hayden emphasizes a serious approach to protesting the war while examining a map and coordinating volunteers. Rennie Davis relays Hayden's message to Jerry, who is with Abbie in a crash pad, where Abbie dismisses the seriousness of the situation with humor and confidence. The scene intercuts with an underground club where Abbie provocatively addresses concerns about police overreaction, contrasting with file footage of Mayor Daley's orders and the deployment of National Guard troops. The tension between Hayden's focused strategy and Abbie's irreverent attitude highlights the ideological divide within the group as they prepare for the upcoming protests.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Compelling conflict
  • Sharp dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development within the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the rising stakes and confrontational atmosphere leading up to the Chicago protests, maintaining a high level of tension and setting the stage for significant conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of activists gearing up for a major protest in the face of escalating tensions and threats is compelling and sets the stage for significant developments in the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, laying the groundwork for the upcoming Chicago protests and highlighting the ideological clashes and high stakes involved.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on the anti-war movement of the 1960s, highlighting the personal struggles and political challenges faced by the characters. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds depth to the portrayal of historical events.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are portrayed as determined, defiant, and committed to their cause, with clear motivations and contrasting approaches to activism, adding depth and complexity to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes within the scene, the interactions and decisions made by the characters hint at potential shifts in their beliefs and actions as the narrative progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain focus and determination in the face of potential distractions and challenges. This reflects their deeper need for purpose and conviction in their cause, as well as their fear of losing sight of their mission amidst personal desires or external pressures.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to organize a successful protest in Chicago to end the war. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances of escalating tensions and the need to mobilize support for their cause in a strategic manner.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is rife with conflict, both ideological and potentially physical, as the activists prepare to challenge authority and face the consequences of their actions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing threats of violence, political repression, and internal conflicts that challenge their unity and resolve. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of their protest.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with the characters risking confrontation, violence, and legal repercussions as they prepare to challenge authority and make a stand for their beliefs.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by setting up the key players, conflicts, and motivations for the upcoming Chicago protests, laying the groundwork for significant developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' bold and unpredictable actions, as well as the uncertain outcome of their protest in the face of increasing opposition and threats.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the activists' idealism and the harsh reality of political repression and violence. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the power of peaceful protest and the willingness to confront oppressive forces.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response due to the high stakes, defiance, and tension portrayed, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles and convictions.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and reflective of the characters' ideologies and personalities, effectively conveying their convictions and the escalating tensions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, dynamic character interactions, and the high stakes involved in the characters' mission to protest the war amidst escalating tensions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum, moving between different locations and character interactions to maintain a sense of urgency and forward momentum in the narrative.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the conventions of the screenplay format, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively intercutting between different locations to build tension and convey multiple perspectives on the unfolding events.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the ideological rift between characters like Tom Hayden, who emphasizes a focused, war-ending agenda, and Abbie Hoffman, who adopts a more flippant and multifaceted approach to activism. This contrast is crucial for character development and thematic depth, highlighting the internal conflicts within the anti-war movement. However, the rapid intercutting between locations—the SDS office, crash pad, and underground club—can feel disjointed, potentially confusing viewers by not allowing enough time to settle into each setting before shifting. This choppiness might dilute the emotional impact and make it harder for audiences to connect with the characters' motivations in real-time.
  • Dialogue in the scene is sharp and revealing, particularly Abbie's witty retort about attending Brandeis and multitasking, which underscores his irreverent personality. Yet, the phone relay of messages feels somewhat contrived and expository, as it directly states conflicts (e.g., 'not to fuck around') without showing them through action or subtext. This could make the scene less cinematic and more tell-than-show, reducing tension and authenticity in a screenplay that otherwise relies on dynamic interactions.
  • The integration of file footage (Mayor Daley's speech and National Guard deployment) is a strong visual tool that builds historical context and foreshadows violence, aligning with the overall script's use of archival elements to evoke societal unrest. However, this reliance on external footage might overshadow the present-day action, making Abbie's monologue in the club feel less immediate and personal. Additionally, the scene's placement right after the violent conclusion of scene 5 (with Molotov cocktails) creates a tonal whiplash—from direct action to planning—which could disrupt narrative flow and make the escalation of conflict feel less organic.
  • As the sixth scene in a 60-scene script, this moment successfully ramps up anticipation for the Chicago protests by contrasting peaceful and provocative strategies, but it doesn't advance character arcs significantly beyond reinforcing established traits. For instance, Tom's seriousness and Abbie's defiance are reiterated without much evolution, which might make the scene feel redundant if similar dynamics were shown in earlier scenes like scene 2. Furthermore, the scene ends abruptly with Abbie's provocative line, leaving a sense of unfinished business that could frustrate viewers if not resolved soon, potentially weakening the script's pacing in the early acts.
Suggestions
  • Smooth out the intercutting by adding transitional elements, such as a voice-over bridge or a recurring visual motif (e.g., a map or phone line) to guide the audience between locations, making the shifts feel more fluid and less jarring.
  • Enhance dialogue by incorporating more subtext and action; for example, instead of Rennie simply relaying Tom's message verbatim, show Jerry and Abbie reacting through physical gestures or interruptions during the phone call to heighten tension and reveal character relationships more dynamically.
  • To better connect with the previous scene's violence, start with a brief reference or visual callback (e.g., a newspaper headline about the recruitment center attack) to maintain narrative continuity and ease the tonal shift, ensuring the audience feels the consequences of earlier events.
  • Focus on deepening character development by adding a small moment of internal conflict or growth; for instance, have Tom question his own rigidity briefly, or show Abbie's humor masking genuine concern, to make the scene more than just setup and add layers to their motivations.
  • Consider tightening the scene by reducing the number of intercuts or combining elements (e.g., merging the crash pad and underground club sequences) to improve pacing, and ensure Abbie's ending line leads directly into the next scene for better momentum in the overall story arc.



Scene 7 - Tensions Rise: The Calm Before the Storm
30 INT. PRESS CONFERENCE - DAY 30
TOM is at the podium--
TOM
We want to underscore again that
we’re coming to Chicago peacefully,
but whether we’re given permits or
not, we’re coming.
31 EXT. TRAINING GROUND - DAY (FILE FOOTAGE) 31
A REPORTER is delivering his stand-up as riot police practice
technique with tear gas canisters.
REPORTER #6
An additional 10,000 Chicago police
officers, including riot squads--
32 INT. A DIFFERENT PRESS CONFERENCE - DAY 32
DAVE DELLINGER is at the podium.
DAVE
We are not going to storm the
Convention with tanks or mace, but
we are going to storm the hearts
and minds of the American people.

33 INT. CITY HALL PRESS CONFERENCE - DAY (FILE FOOTAGE) 33
GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL
These people are revolutionaries
bent on the destruction of the
United States of America.
34 INT. CONVENTION CENTER - NIGHT (FILE FOOTAGE) 34
The huge arena is empty but we see the familiar signs for
each state’s delegation. WALTER CRONKITE speaks into the
camera very simply...
WALTER CRONKITE
A Democratic Convention is about to
begin...in a police state. There
just doesn’t seem to be any other
way to say it.
FADE TO BLACK
TITLE:
The Trial of the Chicago 7
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Scene 7 is a montage that juxtaposes the peaceful intentions of protesters, led by TOM and DAVE DELLINGER, with the escalating preparations of riot police, as reported by various news outlets. The scene highlights the ideological clash between the protesters, who seek to influence public opinion non-violently, and government officials who label them as revolutionary threats. As the tension builds, WALTER CRONKITE's commentary paints a grim picture of the upcoming Democratic Convention occurring in a police state, culminating in a fade to black that introduces 'The Trial of the Chicago 7'.
Strengths
  • Effective use of historical footage
  • Compelling dialogue and interactions
  • Building tension and conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development within the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the mounting conflict and stakes leading up to the Chicago protests, blending historical context with character motivations and setting a tone of defiance and determination.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of peaceful protest versus escalating tensions is central to the scene, exploring the complexities of activism and the clash of ideologies during a tumultuous period in American history.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, setting the stage for the Chicago protests and establishing key conflicts and motivations for the characters involved.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh approach to political activism and protest, showcasing the complexities of social movements and government opposition. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and rooted in the historical context of the events depicted.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their differing perspectives on activism and protest are effectively portrayed, adding depth and complexity to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes within this scene, the interactions and conflicts set the stage for potential growth and development in subsequent scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to inspire and mobilize people towards a peaceful but impactful protest. This reflects their deeper desire for social change, justice, and the need to be heard.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to convey their message to the public and challenge the government's narrative. This reflects the immediate challenge of facing opposition and potential suppression.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict is high, with tensions rising between different activist groups, law enforcement, and government officials, setting the stage for the dramatic events to come.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the government officials presenting a formidable challenge to the protesters' goals, creating uncertainty and conflict that heightens the stakes.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with the characters facing the threat of violence, arrest, and societal upheaval as they prepare to confront the establishment and advocate for social change.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by establishing key conflicts, motivations, and tensions that will drive the narrative towards the climactic events of the Chicago protests.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the volatile political climate, the uncertain reactions of the government and the public, and the potential for escalation or confrontation.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident is between the government's view of the protesters as revolutionaries seeking destruction and the protesters' belief in peaceful but impactful activism to bring about change. This challenges the protagonist's values of non-violence and the pursuit of justice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response, drawing on historical events and personal convictions to engage the audience in the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful, reflecting the characters' convictions and setting up important conflicts and resolutions within the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, conflicting ideologies, and the sense of impending conflict. The dialogue and actions keep the audience invested in the characters' goals and the outcome of the protest.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum, moving between different locations and characters with a sense of urgency that drives the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively transitioning between different settings and characters to build tension and convey the narrative.


Critique
  • The montage sequence in Scene 7 effectively uses juxtaposition to build tension and contrast the peaceful intentions of the activists with the escalating governmental and police responses, which mirrors the thematic conflict of the entire script—peaceful protest versus perceived threat. However, as an early scene in a 60-scene script, it risks feeling somewhat detached from the character-driven moments established in previous scenes, such as Dave Dellinger's family-focused non-violence discussion in Scene 3 or Abbie's provocative stance in Scene 6. This detachment could make the montage seem more like a historical recap than an integral part of the narrative arc, potentially alienating viewers who haven't fully connected with the characters yet.
  • The reliance on file footage and voiceovers (e.g., Walter Cronkite's commentary) adds authenticity and historical weight, which is a strength in grounding the story in real events. That said, the scene could benefit from more original visual elements to create a smoother blend between archival material and scripted content. For instance, the cuts to file footage feel abrupt and might disrupt the flow, making the montage appear as a series of disconnected clips rather than a cohesive build-up. This could weaken the emotional engagement, as the audience might not feel the personal stakes as strongly as in scenes with direct character interaction.
  • Dialogue in the scene, such as Tom's emphasis on peaceful protest and Dave's focus on 'storming hearts and minds,' is clear and thematic, but it borders on being overly expository. This approach tells the audience about the activists' intentions rather than showing them through action or subtext, which could reduce dramatic tension. In the context of the previous scene where Abbie expresses reliance on police overreaction, this montage doesn't fully capitalize on that momentum, missing an opportunity to deepen Abbie's character or show how his attitude influences the group dynamics.
  • The scene's structure as a montage is efficient for advancing the plot and setting up the trial's title reveal, but it lacks variation in pacing or emotional beats. For example, the fade to black with the title is a strong dramatic punctuation, but the segments leading up to it are uniformly fast-paced, which might not allow key moments—like Cronkite's 'police state' line—to resonate fully. Additionally, while the contrast between perspectives (peaceful vs. accusatory) is effective, it doesn't evolve the characters or conflicts introduced earlier, such as the familial concerns in Scene 3 or the militant actions in Scene 5, making this scene feel somewhat static in comparison.
  • Visually, the scene uses chyrons and file footage well to identify characters and events, enhancing clarity for the audience. However, this could inadvertently highlight the script's reliance on exposition over subtle storytelling. The end of the scene, fading to the title, is a powerful hook, but it might be more impactful if tied more explicitly to the protagonists' internal conflicts, such as Dave's optimism clashing with the harsh realities shown in the footage, to better foreshadow the trial's injustices and maintain thematic continuity from the script's opening scenes.
  • Overall, while the montage successfully escalates societal unrest and transitions into the trial narrative, it could strengthen its role in character development by incorporating elements that echo the personal stakes from prior scenes. For instance, referencing the non-violence principles from Scene 3 or the police overreaction hinted at in Scene 6 could make this sequence feel less like a standalone historical montage and more like a pivotal moment that deepens the audience's understanding of the characters' motivations and the brewing conflict.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate smoother transitions between montage segments by adding brief voiceovers or cutaways to characters reacting to the footage, such as showing Abbie smirking at the riot police training to directly link back to his 'counting on it' line from the previous scene, enhancing narrative flow and character continuity.
  • Reduce expository dialogue by showing character intentions through action; for example, intercut Tom's press conference with subtle flashbacks or symbolic visuals from earlier scenes to illustrate his commitment to peace, making the scene more dynamic and less reliant on direct statements.
  • Extend the emotional range of the montage by varying the pacing—slow down key moments like Cronkite's commentary for dramatic emphasis—and include original shots that personalize the historical elements, such as Dave watching TV footage of the police deployment to tie into his family's concerns from Scene 3.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by adding subtle references to previous conflicts, like a quick cut to Jerry's Molotov cocktail demonstration from Scene 5 during the government official's accusation, to show how media portrayals distort activist actions and build a more cohesive narrative arc.
  • Consider adding a character-specific beat at the end of the montage, such as a close-up on Dave or Tom reflecting on the 'police state' comment, to deepen audience empathy and foreshadow their personal struggles in the trial, making the title reveal more emotionally resonant.
  • Refine the use of file footage by blending it with scripted elements more seamlessly, perhaps by having actors interact with archival material in creative ways, to avoid a documentary-like feel and ensure the scene feels fully integrated into the dramatic storytelling.



Scene 8 - A Moment in History
35 EXT./EST. JUSTICE DEPARTMENT - DAY 35
It’s a grey, rainy morning.
TITLE:
U.S. Department of Justice
Office of the Newly Appointed Attorney General, John Mitchell
36 INT. MITCHELL’S OUTER OFFICE - DAY 36
RICHARD SCHULTZ and THOMAS FORAN are waiting on the couch.
SCHULTZ, 33, is a bright lawyer with a pleasant if serious
manner. FORAN is his boss. From their body language we can
tell they’ve been called to the principal’s office.
We ID the two men with a chyron--
Richard Schultz Thomas Foran
Federal Prosecutors
SECRETARY
You’ve arrived at a moment in
history.

SCHULTZ wasn’t sure what she just said or if she was even
talking to him...
SCHULTZ
(pause)
Pardon me?
SECRETARY
(pointing)
They’re changing the picture.
Sure enough, when SCHULTZ looks at what the secretary is
talking about he sees a workman swapping out a large framed
photo on the wall of Lyndon Johnson with one of Richard
Nixon.
SCHULTZ nods.
The office door opens and HOWARD, a high-level Justice
Department deputy steps out.
HOWARD
Tom.
FORAN
Howard.
HOWARD
You flew in alright?
FORAN
Sure.
HOWARD
Richard Schultz?
SCHULTZ
Yes sir.
HOWARD
Howard Ackerman, Special Advisor to
the Attorney General.
SCHULTZ
Pleased to meet you.
HOWARD
Were you told what this is about?
SCHULTZ
No sir. Just to meet Mr. Foran at
O’Hare this morning, that we were
flying to Washington and that we
were meeting Mr. Mitchell.

HOWARD
Good.
(noticing)
They’re finally changing the
goddamn picture. C’mon in.
They follow HOWARD into--
Genres: ["Drama","Political"]

Summary On a grey, rainy morning outside the U.S. Department of Justice, federal prosecutors Richard Schultz and Thomas Foran await a meeting with newly appointed Attorney General John Mitchell. Their anxious demeanor suggests they feel summoned for an important reason. A secretary cryptically remarks that they have arrived at a 'moment in history,' which confuses Schultz. As they notice a workman changing a framed photo from Lyndon Johnson to Richard Nixon, Howard Ackerman, a high-level deputy, greets them and invites them into Mitchell's office, leaving the purpose of their meeting shrouded in mystery.
Strengths
  • Effective introduction of characters
  • Tension-building through setting and dialogue
  • Symbolic use of changing photo to represent power shift
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional impact
  • Lack of immediate conflict resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene effectively sets up a shift in power and introduces key characters in a tense environment, building anticipation for future developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of transitioning power and introducing key characters in a political setting is well-executed, setting the stage for future conflicts and developments.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by introducing key characters and hinting at power dynamics, laying the foundation for future conflicts and resolutions.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on power dynamics and transitions in political settings. The dialogue feels authentic and reveals underlying tensions and uncertainties.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are introduced effectively, showcasing their roles and relationships within the political landscape, setting up potential conflicts and alliances.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the introduction of key players hints at potential transformations and growth in the future.

Internal Goal: 8

Schultz's internal goal in this scene seems to be to navigate a potentially unfamiliar and high-stakes situation with the Secretary and Howard. His goal reflects his need to maintain professionalism, understand the significance of the moment in history, and establish himself in this new environment.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to understand the purpose of the meeting with Howard and navigate the unexpected changes happening in the office. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of adapting to new information and dynamics.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict is simmering beneath the surface, hinted at through the characters' interactions and the setting, setting up future confrontations.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with hints of tension and uncertainty in the characters' interactions. The audience is left unsure about the characters' intentions and the direction of the scene.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are established through the tense atmosphere, the introduction of key characters, and the implications of a power transition in a political environment.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by setting up key plot points and character dynamics that will drive future events.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected changes in the environment and hints at underlying tensions and power shifts. The audience is left wondering about the characters' motivations and the direction of the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a subtle philosophical conflict between the old (represented by the photo of Lyndon Johnson) and the new (Richard Nixon) in the changing of the picture. This conflict challenges the characters' perceptions of authority, leadership, and the evolving political landscape.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact is subtle but present, as the tension in the scene evokes intrigue and anticipation for what is to come.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and serves to establish character dynamics and the tense atmosphere of the scene.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it sets up a mysterious and tense atmosphere, introduces intriguing characters, and hints at larger political implications. The dialogue and interactions keep the audience curious about the unfolding events.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and intrigue through the interactions between characters, the changing environment, and the gradual reveal of information. It keeps the audience engaged and curious about the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and follows standard screenplay conventions. It effectively conveys the setting, character actions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively introduces characters, sets up the environment, and establishes the initial conflict. It adheres to the expected format for a political drama genre.


Critique
  • This scene serves as a solid introductory moment for the prosecution side, effectively contrasting the activist-focused earlier scenes by shifting perspective to the government officials. It builds a sense of anticipation and historical transition through the symbolic act of changing the presidential photo from Johnson to Nixon, which underscores the theme of political change and sets a moody, rainy atmosphere that mirrors the uncertainty and gravity of the moment. However, the scene feels somewhat static and expository, relying heavily on dialogue to convey setup rather than advancing the plot or deepening character insights. The secretary's cryptic line about arriving 'at a moment in history' is intriguing but underdeveloped, coming across as a bit clichéd without sufficient context or payoff, which might leave readers or viewers wondering about its significance. Additionally, the character introductions via chyron are functional for clarity in a screenplay, but they lack integration into the narrative flow, making the scene feel more like a procedural setup than an engaging dramatic beat. Overall, while it successfully establishes the antagonists and their unease, it doesn't fully capitalize on the opportunity to explore their motivations or internal conflicts, which could make the prosecution more nuanced and less one-dimensional in a story that's heavily weighted toward the activists.
  • The pacing of this scene is deliberate and builds tension through the waiting and the reveal of the photo change, but it risks feeling slow or inconsequential in the broader context of a 60-scene screenplay. As scene 8, it's early in the narrative, so it's appropriate for setup, but it could benefit from more subtle foreshadowing of the trial's injustices or the personal stakes for characters like Schultz and Foran. For instance, their body language indicating nervousness is a good visual cue, but it's not explored deeply, missing a chance to humanize them or hint at moral dilemmas they'll face later. The dialogue is naturalistic and reveals character through interactions, such as Schultz's polite but serious demeanor, but it lacks subtext or conflict that could make it more dynamic. The transition from the previous montage in Scene 7, which ends with the title 'The Trial of the Chicago 7,' is somewhat abrupt, as this scene jumps to a different setting without a strong connective thread, potentially disrupting the flow and making the shift feel disjointed. Finally, the scene's end, with the characters entering Mitchell's office, is a natural cliffhanger, but it doesn't leave a strong emotional or thematic impression, as the focus is more on procedural elements than on evoking empathy or intrigue.
  • In terms of thematic alignment, this scene effectively contrasts the chaotic, activist-driven energy of earlier scenes with a more controlled, bureaucratic tone, highlighting the power imbalance that will be central to the trial. However, it could do more to parallel or echo elements from previous scenes, such as the FBI surveillance mentioned in Scene 4 or the Molotov cocktail demonstration in Scene 5, to create a cohesive narrative thread. For example, referencing the growing unrest or the administration's response could tie it back to Abbie's provocative stance in Scene 6. Visually, the scene uses the photo change and the rainy weather well to symbolize change and foreboding, but it could incorporate more sensory details to immerse the audience, such as sounds of rain or the clatter of the workman changing the frame, to enhance the atmosphere. Character-wise, Schultz and Foran are introduced as serious and anxious, but there's little to distinguish them beyond their roles, making them feel like archetypes rather than fully realized characters. This could be an opportunity to plant seeds for their character arcs, such as Schultz's later concerns about the law's application, to make the critique more balanced and help the reader understand the prosecution's perspective without villainizing them prematurely.
Suggestions
  • Add subtext to the dialogue to make it more engaging; for example, have Schultz or Foran express a subtle doubt about the meeting's purpose through hesitant body language or indirect comments, foreshadowing their moral conflicts in the trial.
  • Enhance the secretary's line by making it more specific or tied to the plot, such as referencing a recent event from earlier scenes (e.g., the draft lottery or assassinations) to create a stronger link and avoid it feeling like a generic historical nod.
  • Incorporate more visual and sensory details to build atmosphere and tension, like describing the sound of rain intensifying or the workman's casual attitude contrasting with the characters' anxiety, to make the scene more cinematic and immersive.
  • Strengthen the transition from Scene 7 by including a brief reference to the trial's announcement or the activists' actions, ensuring a smoother narrative flow and reinforcing the contrast between perspectives.
  • Develop character introductions beyond chyrons by showing their personalities through actions; for instance, have Schultz fidget with a document or Foran check his watch to convey impatience, adding depth and making them more relatable or complex.



Scene 9 - The Weight of Authority
37 INT. JOHN MITCHELL’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 37
JOHN MITCHELL is standing behind his desk, lighting a
cigarette.
MITCHELL
As a matter of courtesy and
tradition, when we elect a new
president, the outgoing cabinet
members resign to spare the new
president the unpleasantness of
firing them. You know when
President Nixon received Ramsey
Clark’s formal letter of
resignation?
SCHULTZ
No, sir.
MITCHELL
About an hour before I was
confirmed. That was to embarrass
me. I don’t know, I think it was
more embarrassing for Ramsey Clark.
I’m John Mitchell.
FORAN
Thomas Foran, Mr. Attorney General,
and this is Richard Schultz.
MITCHELL
Richard, Chicago was more fucked up
than any ten things I’ve ever seen
in my life.
SCHULTZ
Sir?
HOWARD
The convention. The riots.
SCHULTZ
Yes sir.

MITCHELL
Johnny Walker okay with everybody?
FORAN
Thank you.
MITCHELL
Richard?
SCHULTZ
Nothing for me, thank you.
MITCHELL
We don’t know how Humphrey’s people
could’ve been that stupid--allow
their guy to get nominated under
armed guard.
(to SCHULTZ)
You think that’s what lost him the
election?
SCHULTZ
Sir?
MITCHELL
Son, are you nervous?
SCHULTZ
No sir.
MITCHELL
Why the fuck not?
(beat)
I’m kidding. Don’t believe
everything you’ve heard about me.
Ramsey Clark gives me the finger on
the way out the door. I’m asking if
you think Chicago is why Humphrey
lost the election.
SCHULTZ
No sir, I think the Republicans ran
a better candidate.
MITCHELL
That’s for damn sure.
HOWARD
And Daley didn’t help his party
either but Humphrey’s people and
Daley didn’t break the law so
that’s someone else’s table.

SCHULTZ
Well as a matter of fact, sir, we
don’t believe any federal laws were
broken last summer. Mr. Foran had
our office run a thorough
investigation. Plenty of
trespassing, destruction of public
property, lewd behavior I suppose,
but--
MITCHELL starts laughing. So does HOWARD. So SCHULTZ stops
talking for a brief moment before--
SCHULTZ (CONT'D)
...nothing rising to the level of--
MITCHELL
Do you think you and your boss are
in the Attorney General’s office
because I want you to seek an
indictment for violating a federal
trespassing law?
SCHULTZ
Sir, our office wasn’t aware the
Justice Department wanted to seek
any indictments at all.
MITCHELL
We do.
SCHULTZ
Ramsey Clark was dead set against
bringing federal--
MITCHELL
Ramsey Clark doesn’t run the
Justice Department anymore, did you
hear about that? And Mr. Johnson’s
back home in Texas.
SCHULTZ
Of course, sir.
MITCHELL
One hour before my confirmation
hearing gaveled, that’s when he
resigned. What a prick.
SCHULTZ
It was unprofessional, sir.

MITCHELL
Unprofessional, it was unpatriotic.
And I’ll tell you what else--it was
impolite. There’s such a thing as
manners. I want to bring back
manners, how ‘bout that. The
America I grew up in. Will you
help me, Mr. Schultz? ‘Cause I
asked Mr. Foran who was the best
prosecutor in his office and he
said you.
SCHULTZ
Thank you.
HOWARD tosses SCHULTZ a file--
HOWARD
Section 2101 of Title 18.
MITCHELL
That’s the federal law that was
broken.
SCHULTZ
That’s the Rap Brown law.
HOWARD
Conspiracy to Cross State Lines in
Order to Incite Violence. It comes
with a ten-year maximum and we want
all ten.
SCHULTZ
For whom, sir?
HOWARD tosses SCHULTZ another file--
HOWARD
The all-star team.
SCHULTZ looks at the top page in the file--
SCHULTZ
Abbie Hoffman, Jerry Rubin, Tom
Hayden, Rennie Davis, Dave
Dellinger, Lee Weiner, John
Froines...and Bobby Seale?
MITCHELL
I call them the schoolboys, and
when I do, everyone here knows who
I’m talking about. Petulant and
dangerous.
(MORE)

MITCHELL (CONT'D)
And we’ve watched for a decade
while these rebels without a job
who’ve never bothered to get their
hands dirty fighting the enemy tell
us how to prosecute a war. The
decade’s over, the grown-ups are
back and I deem these shitty little
fairies to be a threat to national
security so they’re gonna spend
their 30’s in a federal facility.
Real time.
FORAN
You’re lead prosecutor, Richard.
You understand why I couldn’t tell
you until we got here.
SCHULTZ
Sure. Yes sir.
There’s an awkward silence...
HOWARD
Richard, you’re being given the
ball, are you ready to do this?
SCHULTZ
You pay me for my opinion.
MITCHELL
What?
SCHULTZ
I said, sir, you pay me for my
opinion?
MITCHELL
Where did you learn that, in class?
I pay you to win.
SCHULTZ
I’m not sure we can get a good
indictment on conspiracy.
MITCHELL
Why not?
SCHULTZ
For one thing, some of these people
had never met each other.
MITCHELL
Telephones.

SCHULTZ
Mr. Attorney General, the Rap Brown
law was created by southern whites
in Congress to limit the free
speech of black activists.
(beat)
Civil Rights activists who were
coming in from the--
MITCHELL
I know why it was--why the fuck is
he teaching--It doesn’t matter to
why the law was passed, it matters
what it can do.
SCHULTZ
We’re not sure what it can do
because no one’s ever been charged
with it.
FORAN
That makes it exciting, it’s virgin
land. Undeveloped real estate.
MITCHELL
It’s a law and they broke it.
SCHULTZ
Of course.
MITCHELL
Is there a problem?
SCHULTZ
No sir.
MITCHELL
Say what you want to say since
apparently I’m paying you for your
wisdom. Gimme my money’s worth.
SCHULTZ
There will be people who’ll see
this as the Justice Department
restraining free speech and there
will people who’ll see these men as
martyrs.
MITCHELL
Are any of those people in this
room?

SCHULTZ
(beat)
No sir.
MITCHELL
You’re 33 and you’re about to be
named lead prosecutor in the most
important trial in your lifetime
after having been hand-picked by
the Attorney General, I’m about to
do it right now. But before I do,
let me ask you, how do you see
them?
SCHULTZ
(beat)
Personally or in terms of--
MITCHELL
Personally.
SCHULTZ
I see them as vulgar, anti-
establishment, anti-social and
unpragmatic, but none of those
things are indictable.
MITCHELL
Then imagine how impressed I’ll be
when you get an indictment.
SCHULTZ
And there’s the bigger question.
MITCHELL
Which is?
SCHULTZ
Who started the riot? Was it the
protestors or was it the police?
MITCHELL
The police don’t start riots.
SCHULTZ
They’ll have witnesses who’ll say
they started this one.
MITCHELL
And you’ll dismantle them. And
you’ll win. Because, Mr. Schultz,
that’s what’s expected of you.

SCHULTZ
(beat)
Yes sir.
38 INT. MITCHELL’S OUTER-OFFICE - DAY 38
As SCHULTZ and FORAN step out and the door closes behind
them.
FORAN
(quietly)
You didn’t show a lot of gratitude
in there.
SCHULTZ
(quietly)
On top of everything else, we’re
giving them exactly what they want--
a stage and an audience.
FORAN
You really think it’s going to be a
big audience?
And we HEAR a CROWD start to chant--faint at first but then
growing in volume--
CROWD (V.O.)
The whole world is watching! The
whole world is watching! The whole
world is watching!...
SCHULTZ closes his eyes for a moment and shakes his head
slightly at the cluelessness of Foran’s question.
SCHULTZ
Yes sir, I do.
And SCHULTZ exits first as we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Political"]

Summary In John Mitchell's office, he discusses the tradition of cabinet resignations and the chaos of the Chicago Democratic National Convention riots. He reveals plans to prosecute anti-war activists under the Rap Brown law, dismissing Schultz's concerns about the implications of such actions. Mitchell asserts his authority, expecting Schultz to secure an indictment despite the potential backlash. The scene ends with Schultz and Foran leaving the office, amidst growing crowd chants, highlighting the tension between legal duty and the activists' influence.
Strengths
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Effective tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Limited visual elements
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is well-crafted with intense dialogue and strong character dynamics. It effectively sets up the conflict and stakes for the upcoming trial, showcasing the power play between the Attorney General and the prosecutors.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of the scene revolves around the decision to indict prominent activists and the clash of ideologies within the Justice Department. It effectively introduces the central conflict of the trial.

Plot: 8.7

The plot of the scene focuses on the discussion of seeking indictments for the activists, highlighting the legal and political ramifications of the decision. It advances the narrative by setting up the central conflict.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to political drama, blending historical events with personal interactions to create a compelling narrative. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.8

The characters are well-defined, with the Attorney General portrayed as authoritative and manipulative, contrasting with the earnestness of the prosecutors. The scene effectively establishes their motivations and conflicts.

Character Changes: 8

The scene hints at potential character changes, especially for the lead prosecutor who is thrust into a challenging position. The dynamics between the characters suggest possible shifts in their perspectives and actions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert his authority and control over the situation, showcasing his power and influence. This reflects his need for dominance and respect in his position.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to prosecute the individuals involved in inciting violence during the riots, demonstrating his commitment to upholding the law and maintaining order.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.9

The conflict in the scene is high, with tensions running high between the Attorney General and the prosecutors. The decision to indict the activists creates a significant internal and external conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and power struggles adding complexity to the narrative. The audience is left uncertain about the outcomes, adding depth to the conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the decision to indict prominent activists could have far-reaching consequences. The characters are faced with moral and legal dilemmas that could impact their careers and reputations.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing the key conflict of the trial and setting the stage for the legal proceedings. It advances the narrative by establishing the central dilemma.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics and the uncertain outcomes of the legal proceedings. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the balance between upholding the law and protecting civil liberties. The tension between prosecuting individuals for inciting violence and the potential infringement on free speech rights challenges the protagonist's beliefs in justice and order.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.3

The scene evokes a sense of tension and anticipation, drawing the audience into the power struggle within the Justice Department. The emotional impact is driven by the high stakes and conflicting ideologies.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing the power dynamics and conflicting perspectives of the characters. It drives the scene forward and adds depth to the character interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense dialogue, political intrigue, and power dynamics. The interactions between characters and the unfolding legal drama captivate the audience.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and maintains the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and interactions enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for its genre, with clear character cues and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and understanding.

Structure: 8.5

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the power dynamics and tension within the setting. The dialogue and interactions flow smoothly, contributing to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the antagonistic force of the government through John Mitchell's character, portraying him as a blunt, authoritative figure who embodies the shift in power from the Johnson to Nixon administration. This contrast highlights the political motivations behind the prosecution, making it clear that the trial is not just about legal violations but about suppressing dissent, which ties into the film's overarching themes of injustice and abuse of power. However, Mitchell's dialogue occasionally feels overly didactic, such as when he explains the timing of Ramsey Clark's resignation, which could come across as expository rather than natural conversation, potentially distancing the audience if not balanced with more subtle character interactions.
  • Richard Schultz is well-developed as a principled and hesitant prosecutor, creating a compelling internal conflict that humanizes the opposition. His reluctance to pursue the case adds depth and foreshadows the ethical dilemmas he might face later, helping viewers understand the complexity of the legal system. That said, Schultz's repeated use of 'Sir?' and his overly polite demeanor might make him seem one-dimensional or overly deferential, reducing the tension in moments where a more assertive pushback could heighten the drama and make his character more relatable and engaging.
  • The dialogue drives the scene forward with sharp exchanges that reveal character motivations and advance the plot, such as Mitchell's insistence on prosecuting under the Rap Brown law despite its controversial history. This builds suspense and sets up the central conflict of the film. However, some lines, like Mitchell's sarcastic remark 'Why the fuck not?' after asking if Schultz is nervous, feel forced and comedic in a way that might undercut the seriousness of the scene, potentially clashing with the film's tone of historical drama and making Mitchell appear more cartoonish than nuanced.
  • Visually, the scene relies heavily on dialogue and character interactions, which is appropriate for an office setting, but it lacks dynamic visual elements that could enhance the cinematic quality. For instance, the action of Howard tossing files to Schultz is a good touch for visual interest, but more could be done with the environment—such as lingering shots of the photo change from Johnson to Nixon—to symbolize the political transition and add layers of meaning without dialogue. This could make the scene more engaging for viewers who prefer visual storytelling over exposition-heavy sequences.
  • The conflict between the characters is strong, with Mitchell representing unyielding authority and Schultz voicing moral concerns, creating a tense atmosphere that mirrors the societal divisions depicted in the film. However, the scene could benefit from deeper exploration of the stakes for Schultz and Foran personally; for example, showing how this assignment might affect their careers or personal lives could make the audience more invested in their arcs. Additionally, the abrupt shift to the crowd chant at the end feels tacked on and disconnected, as it introduces an external element without proper buildup, which might confuse viewers or dilute the scene's focus on the internal meeting.
  • Overall, the scene successfully transitions from the setup in the previous scene (Scene 8) by immediately escalating the stakes with Mitchell's direct orders, maintaining narrative momentum. It provides necessary exposition about the legal basis for the trial and character dynamics, but it risks feeling static due to its talky nature. To improve readability and flow, varying the pacing with more pauses or interruptions could heighten tension, and ensuring that the humor (e.g., Mitchell's quips) serves the story rather than overshadowing the gravity of the historical context would strengthen its impact.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to reduce repetition, such as consolidating Schultz's 'Sir?' responses into more varied and assertive interjections, to make conversations feel more natural and dynamic, enhancing character authenticity and pacing.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements, like close-ups on facial expressions or symbolic objects (e.g., the changing photo frame), to convey tension and themes without relying solely on dialogue, which would make the scene more engaging and cinematic.
  • Deepen character development by adding subtle hints about personal stakes, such as Schultz glancing at a family photo on his desk or Foran showing subtle discomfort, to build emotional investment and make the conflict more relatable to the audience.
  • Adjust the tone to balance humor and seriousness; for instance, tone down Mitchell's sarcastic lines to maintain the scene's dramatic weight, ensuring that comedic elements support rather than detract from the historical gravity.
  • Strengthen the transition to the crowd chant by foreshadowing it earlier in the scene, perhaps through ambient sounds or a mention of public backlash, to create a smoother narrative flow and reinforce the theme of widespread societal unrest.



Scene 10 - Chaos and Camaraderie at the Courthouse
39 EXT. COURTHOUSE - DAY 39
We see the source of the chanting--a massive crowd being held
back by rope lines and police officers. While most of the
crowd is shouting its support of the defendants, a healthy
number are making it clear they find the defendants’ hair too
long and politics too left and are urging them to go live
someplace else.

We whip-pan to different signs: “Free the Chicago 7”; “Out of
Vietnam Now!”; “What About White Civil Rights?”; “Love It Or
Leave It!”, etc.
A40 INT. COURTHOUSE ROTUNDA - SAME TIME A40
A couple of POLICE OFFICERS escort ABBIE and JERRY through
the front doors and through the rotunda. Press and
photographers are being held back by a velvet rope as
flashbulbs spray--
ABBIE
You alright?
JERRY
I was until I saw this.
ABBIE
Most of them are on our side.
Someone from the crowd shouts out--
CROWD MEMBER
(shouting)
We love you, Abbie!
ABBIE turns to flash the guy a peace sign when the guy throws
an egg at him. Incredibly, JERRY grabs the egg out of the air
without breaking it as the POLICE OFFICERS head into the
crowd to find the guy who threw it.
ABBIE
Jesus Christ. How did you do that?
JERRY
Experience.
JERRY stands there a moment...
ABBIE
You don’t know what to do with the
egg now, do you.
JERRY
No.
They head through the rotunda as we--
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Historical"]

Summary Outside the courthouse, a divided crowd protests for and against Abbie and Jerry, who are escorted inside by police. Amidst the tension, Abbie reassures Jerry about the supportive crowd, but an egg is thrown at them, which Jerry catches mid-air, leading to a humorous exchange between the two. The scene captures the chaotic atmosphere of the trial, blending moments of levity with underlying hostility.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of tension and defiance
  • Strong character interactions
  • High stakes and conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development beyond Abbie and Jerry
  • Some dialogue may feel cliched or predictable

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the charged atmosphere of the courthouse confrontation, showcasing conflicting sentiments and high stakes while maintaining a tense and confrontational tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of the scene revolves around the clash of ideologies and the legal battle faced by the defendants, effectively portraying the complexities of the situation and setting the stage for the trial.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through the introduction of legal challenges and the escalation of conflict, setting the stage for the trial proceedings and highlighting the high stakes involved.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on political activism and societal tensions, with authentic character interactions and unexpected turns of events.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Abbie and Jerry are developed through their interactions and responses to the escalating tensions, showcasing their defiance and quick thinking in the face of adversity.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions between Abbie and Jerry showcase their personalities and responses to adversity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain composure and confidence in the face of hostility and potential danger. This reflects their need for resilience and belief in their cause.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate through the crowd and courthouse without escalating tensions or causing a scene. This reflects the immediate challenge of public perception and safety.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with tensions running high between different groups and the stakes escalating as the legal battle looms, creating a sense of urgency and defiance.

Opposition: 8

The opposition is strong enough to create uncertainty and tension, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' struggles.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with legal repercussions, public opinion, and personal safety all on the line for the characters, adding intensity and urgency to the confrontation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by setting up the legal proceedings and escalating the conflict, laying the groundwork for the trial of the Chicago 7.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable as it subverts expectations with the egg-catching moment and the shifting crowd dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident between the supporters and detractors of the defendants, showcasing opposing values of freedom of speech and conformity. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in activism and individual expression.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, defiance, and solidarity among the characters and the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and defiance of the characters, adding depth to their personalities and highlighting the conflicting sentiments present in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its dynamic interactions, conflict escalation, and the audience's investment in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing effectively builds tension and suspense, maintaining audience interest and propelling the scene towards its climax.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the genre's standards, enhancing readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and character dynamics, fitting the genre's expectations.


Critique
  • This scene effectively captures the chaotic atmosphere surrounding the trial, using the divided crowd and the egg-throwing incident to visually and thematically illustrate the polarization of public opinion on the activists. It serves as a strong transitional moment from the prosecutorial setup in the previous scene to the trial itself, highlighting the media spectacle and personal risks faced by the defendants. However, the scene feels somewhat isolated, as it doesn't deeply connect emotionally or narratively to the immediate prior scene in John Mitchell's office, which deals with the legal machinations behind the prosecution. This disconnection might make the shift from Washington D.C. to Chicago feel abrupt, potentially diluting the build-up of tension established in earlier scenes about activism and authority. Additionally, while the humorous egg-catching moment humanizes Abbie and Jerry and provides comic relief, it risks coming across as contrived or overly slapstick, which could undermine the seriousness of their situation and the overall tone of the screenplay. The dialogue is concise and witty, fitting for the characters, but it lacks depth in revealing their inner conflicts or motivations, making the interaction feel surface-level despite its charm. Visually, the whip-pan to the protest signs is a dynamic technique that conveys the diversity of opinions, but it might rely too heavily on exposition through signage, which can feel expository rather than organic. Overall, as the tenth scene in a 60-scene script, it introduces the trial phase competently but could better escalate the stakes by linking more explicitly to the ideological tensions shown in scenes like the montage in Scene 7 or the activist preparations in Scene 6, ensuring a smoother narrative flow and stronger thematic cohesion.
  • The character dynamics in this scene are engaging but underdeveloped. Abbie and Jerry's banter showcases their camaraderie and adds levity, which is important for balancing the script's heavier themes of political unrest and injustice. However, this moment doesn't advance their character arcs significantly; for instance, Jerry's 'experience' in catching the egg could be a missed opportunity to hint at his background in activism or personal history, making it more than just a gag. The crowd's reaction, with mixed support and hostility, mirrors the societal divisions depicted earlier, but it doesn't delve into how this affects the defendants psychologically, which could add layers to their portrayals. Compared to scenes like Scene 3 or Scene 4, where characters like Dave Dellinger and Bobby Seale have more introspective moments, this scene feels lighter and less consequential, potentially weakening the emotional investment in Abbie and Jerry as the story progresses into the trial. The visual elements, such as the flashbulbs and the escort through the rotunda, effectively convey the media frenzy, but they could be more integrated with symbolic motifs from earlier scenes, like the surveillance and police overreaction foreshadowed in Scene 6, to create a more unified visual language. Finally, the scene's brevity might limit its impact, as it rushes through the external chaos to the internal humor without allowing the audience to fully absorb the tension, which could make the transition to subsequent scenes feel disjointed.
  • Thematically, this scene reinforces the script's exploration of public perception and the consequences of activism, aligning with the overarching narrative of the Chicago 7 trial. The signs in the crowd succinctly capture the era's social divides, echoing Martin Luther King Jr.'s criticisms from Scene 1 and the ideological clashes in Scene 2. However, the humor injected through the egg incident might inadvertently trivialize the serious accusations against the defendants, potentially conflicting with the grave tone established in scenes like Scene 9, where the prosecution is framed as a threat to national security. This could confuse viewers about the stakes, as the light-heartedness might undercut the mounting dread. Additionally, the scene's reliance on visual comedy and quick cuts might not fully exploit the dramatic potential of the courthouse setting, which could be used to foreshadow the courtroom chaos seen in later scenes (e.g., Scene 12). From a structural standpoint, as an early trial scene, it sets up the spectacle but doesn't sufficiently build suspense or character depth, which is crucial for maintaining audience engagement over 60 scenes. The end of the scene, with Abbie and Jerry moving forward, is a natural progression, but it lacks a strong hook to propel the narrative into the next scene, making it feel like a brief interlude rather than a pivotal moment.
Suggestions
  • To improve the transition from the previous scene in Mitchell's office, add a subtle auditory or visual link, such as a sound bridge of crowd chants fading in as Schultz and Foran exit, or a quick cut to a newspaper headline about the trial to connect the prosecutorial decision to the public reaction, ensuring a smoother narrative flow.
  • Enhance character development by expanding the dialogue during Abbie and Jerry's interaction; for example, have Jerry reference a past experience that ties into his activist history, making the egg-catching moment more meaningful and less coincidental, which would deepen their portrayals and align with the character-driven elements in scenes like Scene 13.
  • Incorporate more sensory details in the crowd scene to heighten tension and immersion, such as close-ups on specific protesters' faces, ambient sounds of chanting and boos, or a brief moment where Abbie reacts to a particularly hostile sign, to make the external chaos feel more vivid and thematically resonant with earlier scenes of societal unrest.
  • Refine the humor by ensuring it complements the tone; for instance, after the egg-catching, have Abbie make a quip that subtly references the political charges against them, blending levity with the serious undertones to maintain thematic consistency and avoid undermining the gravity of the trial.
  • To better integrate this scene into the overall script, add a line of dialogue or a visual cue that foreshadows the courtroom disruptions in later scenes, such as Jerry glancing nervously at the press and muttering about 'the circus inside,' to create anticipation and strengthen the narrative arc from activism to trial.



Scene 11 - Pressing Questions in the Courthouse
40 INT. COURTHOUSE CORRIDOR - DAY 40
The corridor’s lined with press. The elevator dings and the
doors open as WILLIAM KUNSTLER and LEONARD WEINGLASS step
off. KUNSTLER is a rumpled man in his 40’s and WEINGLASS is
quieter though no less a legal mind.
The reporters immediately start shouting questions.
KUNSTLER
Hang on, quiet down please. I want
you all to meet a new addition to
the defense team, this is Leonard
Weinglass, one of this country’s
most talented First Amendment
litigators.
REPORTER (SY)
Bill, can you tell us--
KUNSTLER
(quieting the others)
Go ahead, Sy.
SY
Can you tell us the status of
Charles Garry?
KUNSTLER
Charles Garry is still in the
hospital and you should contact his
office for information. Marjorie.
MARJORIE
Does that mean you’re representing
Bobby Seale today?
KUNSTLER
It’s very important that it be
understood that for his own
protection, I am not acting as
Bobby Seale’s attorney today. One
more. Jack.
JACK
Bill, I was told that it was Hayden
who wanted to bring Mr. Weinglass
in. That Hayden has concerns about
your seriousness.
KUNSTLER
Well--

WEINGLASS
This is William Kunstler. You want
to find out how serious he is, meet
him at a witness stand.
KUNSTLER
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
KUNSTLER and WEINGLASS head into--
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Political Drama"]

Summary In a tense courthouse corridor, defense attorneys William Kunstler and Leonard Weinglass face a barrage of questions from reporters. Kunstler introduces Weinglass, addressing inquiries about the status of Charles Garry and Bobby Seale's representation. As concerns about Kunstler's seriousness arise, Weinglass defends him, challenging the reporters to witness his skills in court. The scene highlights the pressure of media scrutiny on the defense team as they navigate the complexities of the trial before moving on.
Strengths
  • Clear dialogue
  • Effective introduction of new character
  • Professional tone
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Lack of character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, introducing a key character and setting up the legal conflict effectively. It maintains tension and intrigue through dialogue and interactions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of introducing a new defense team member and delving into legal discussions adds depth to the narrative. It sets the tone for the upcoming legal battle and highlights the complexities of the case.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced through the introduction of Leonard Weinglass and the legal discussions regarding the defense strategy. It sets up the conflict and stakes for the upcoming trial.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on legal drama by focusing on the protagonist's public image and strategic decisions in a high-pressure environment. The dialogue feels authentic and dynamic, adding depth to the characters' actions and motivations.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially William Kunstler and Leonard Weinglass, are well-defined through their interactions and dialogue. Their professional demeanor and legal expertise shine through in the scene.

Character Changes: 6

There are no significant character changes in this scene. The focus is more on introducing a new character and setting up the legal dynamics for the trial.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain professionalism and control in the face of intense media scrutiny and questions. This reflects his need to protect his reputation, manage the situation effectively, and uphold his values as a legal professional.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to clarify his role in the legal proceedings and address the concerns raised by the reporters. He aims to manage the public perception of his involvement and protect the interests of his client.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict is subtly hinted at through discussions of legal strategies and the looming trial. While not overtly dramatic, the tension is palpable in the interactions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and hidden agendas among the characters. The audience is left uncertain about the characters' true intentions and the outcome of the legal proceedings, adding suspense and intrigue.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high as the defense team prepares to face a challenging legal battle against the government. The outcome of the trial could have significant implications for the defendants.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing key legal elements, setting up the defense strategy, and preparing for the upcoming trial. It adds depth to the narrative progression.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the dialogue and the shifting dynamics between the characters. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between public perception and legal strategy. The protagonist must balance the need for transparency with the strategic decisions required to protect his client's interests. This challenges his beliefs about the role of media in legal proceedings and the importance of maintaining a professional image.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact is moderate in this scene, focusing more on the professional and legal aspects rather than emotional depth. The interactions are more intellectually stimulating than emotionally charged.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging and informative, focusing on legal matters and press interactions. It effectively conveys the seriousness of the situation and the dynamics between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the rapid-fire dialogue, conflicting motivations of the characters, and the sense of mystery surrounding the legal proceedings. The tension and suspense keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and momentum. The rapid exchanges between characters and the escalating tension create a dynamic rhythm that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard conventions of screenplay format, making it easy to follow and visualize the scene's progression. The scene is well-structured and organized, enhancing the reader's understanding of the events.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a legal drama genre, with clear character introductions, conflict escalation, and resolution. The pacing and dialogue contribute to the scene's effectiveness in building tension and engaging the audience.


Critique
  • This scene effectively introduces Leonard Weinglass as a new character and reinforces William Kunstler's role as a composed and strategic leader, which helps establish the defense team's dynamics early in the trial. However, it feels somewhat static and dialogue-heavy, relying heavily on exposition to convey legal statuses and character concerns without much visual or emotional engagement, potentially making it less cinematic and more like a procedural recap for the audience.
  • The interaction with reporters serves to build tension and highlight media scrutiny, which is thematically consistent with the script's focus on public perception and political activism. That said, the reporters are thinly sketched, with names like Sy, Marjorie, and Jack feeling arbitrary and not contributing to deeper conflict or humor, which could make the scene feel generic and fail to capitalize on the chaotic energy seen in earlier scenes involving crowds and protests.
  • Kunstler's handling of the press conference demonstrates his experience and control, but the question about his 'seriousness' raised by Jack and Weinglass's defense could be explored more deeply to reveal internal conflicts within the defense team. As it stands, this moment is underdeveloped, missing an opportunity to foreshadow tensions that might arise later in the trial, especially given the script's emphasis on ideological differences among the defendants and lawyers.
  • The scene's pacing is brisk, which mirrors the rapid-fire nature of press interactions, but it ends abruptly with Kunstler and Weinglass simply walking away, lacking a strong emotional beat or visual hook to transition into the next scene. This could make it feel inconsequential in the broader narrative, particularly when contrasted with more dynamic scenes like the montage in Scene 7 or the confrontational meeting in Scene 9, potentially diluting the building momentum toward the trial's start.
  • Overall, while the scene advances the plot by addressing key legal and character elements, it underutilizes the courthouse corridor setting. There's little description of the environment or sensory details that could heighten the atmosphere of a high-stakes trial, such as the buzz of other court activities or the pressure of the media horde, which might leave readers or viewers disengaged compared to the more vivid, action-oriented scenes earlier in the script.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more visual elements to make the scene more engaging, such as describing the reporters' aggressive body language, the flash of cameras, or the confined space of the corridor to create a sense of claustrophobia and urgency, transforming it from a static dialogue exchange into a more dynamic sequence.
  • Develop the reporters as more distinct characters with brief, telling actions or lines that reflect their biases or the era's media landscape, e.g., one reporter could be shown scribbling notes frantically or another reacting with skepticism, to add layers of conflict and make the press conference feel more authentic and less formulaic.
  • Expand on the dialogue to deepen character relationships, particularly the implication of Hayden's concerns about Kunstler's seriousness; have Weinglass's defense include a subtle reference to past cases or a personal anecdote to build rapport and foreshadow future trial dynamics, strengthening the emotional stakes and thematic ties to activism and justice.
  • Strengthen the ending by adding a small twist or hook, such as Kunstler overhearing a snippet of conversation from passersby or exchanging a knowing glance with Weinglass that hints at upcoming challenges, to create a smoother transition to Scene 12 and maintain narrative momentum without extending the scene's length.
  • Balance the expository dialogue by intercutting with brief flashbacks or cutaways to relevant events (e.g., a quick shot of Bobby Seale or Charles Garry), drawing from the script's use of flashbacks in later scenes, to make the information more digestible and visually interesting while reinforcing the story's interconnected elements.



Scene 12 - Chaos in the Courtroom
41 INT. COURTROOM - CONTINUOUS 41
The gallery is packed with diehard supporters of the
defendants as well as a full press section in the back.
There’s more than the usual amount of security and we’ll
notice a half-dozen MARSHALS wearing blue blazers and badges.
DAVID DELLINGER is talking to the WIFE and SON we met
earlier.
SCHULTZ, FORAN and an ASSISTANT are talking at the
prosecutor’s table.
We move down and find JOHN FROINES and LEE WEINER already at
the defense table. FROINES and WEINER are Rosencrantz and
Guildenstern and are never separated.
FROINES
Weiner.
WEINER
Yeah.
FROINES
I get why they’re trying to smoke
Abbie and Jerry and Hayden, even
Rennie and Dellinger, but for the
life of me I can’t figure out what
the two of us are doing here.
WEINER
I feel exactly the same way. But
this is the Academy Awards of
protest and as far as I’m concerned
it’s an honor just to be nominated.
We move down the defense table where TOM is sitting next to
RENNIE. TOM points to a piece of paper in front of RENNIE...
TOM
What is that?

RENNIE
I’ve been keeping a list every day.
Americans who’ve been killed since
the day we were arrested.
TOM
Why?
RENNIE
With the trial starting it might
get easy to forget who this is
about.
TOM nods a little.
KUNSTLER and WEINGLASS takes their seats at the defense table
next to TOM and RENNIE.
KUNSTLER
Fellas.
RENNIE
Good morning.
WEINGLASS
Good morning.
TOM
Good morning.
KUNSTLER
(quietly to TOM)
I just got a question about my
seriousness. Whatever’s going on
between you and Abbie, keep it out
of this building.
TOM
I just feel like this is gearing up
to be--
A heavy door on the side of the courtroom opens with a bang
and BOBBY SEALE, handcuffed and in prison coveralls, is
brought in by two MARSHALS.
A group of 8 or so African-Americans sitting together in
front, along with FRED HAMPTON--21, handsome and a steady
leader.
KUNSTLER moves so he can talk to both BOBBY and FRED
privately.
KUNSTLER
Fred.

FRED
Bill.
KUNSTLER kneels down next to BOBBY--
KUNSTLER
(quietly)
Did you have breakfast this
morning?
BOBBY
(pause)
What?
KUNSTLER
Did you have breakfast?
BOBBY
I did.
KUNSTLER
What’d you have?
FRED
What are you doing?
KUNSTLER
I’m talking to him about breakfast
because that’s the only thing I’m
allowed to talk to him about.
FRED
That’s right.
KUNSTLER
Bobby--
FRED
We have instructions from our
lawyer.
KUNSTLER
If you need me I’m sitting right
there. You just look at me and say,
“I need you”.
FRED
We don’t need you.
BOBBY
You two gonna be like this?

KUNSTLER
(to BOBBY, re: the African-
Americans in the gallery)
They shouldn’t sit together. The
jury’s not gonna like that look.
BOBBY
This isn’t my jury. And if they
don’t like the look, they can--
FRED
No, he’s right.
(to the group)
Spread out, okay? In pairs.
KUNSTLER
And Fred?
KUNSTLER makes a subtle gesture to his head to indicate that
they should take off their berets.
BOBBY
No, they’re dressed just fine.
FRED
It’s alright.
(to the group)
Take your very scary hats off.
(back to KUNSTLER)
Don’t mess us up.
KUNSTLER
Alright, good pep talk.
KUNSTLER goes back to his seat just as ABBIE and JERRY are
sitting down.
ABBIE
You see the crowd out there?
JERRY
I have an egg.
KUNSTLER
Get rid of that.
JERRY
You don’t think I want to?
ABBIE
It’s like we’re, you know,
whatshisname, we just met him.

JERRY
Yeah.
ABBIE
(beat)
What is his name?
JERRY
Who?
ABBIE
The drummer. The greatest drummer
ever.
JERRY
Gene Krupa?
ABBIE
No, I’m talkin’ about--Gene Krupa?--
I’m talkin’ about the drummer for
Cream, we just met him last night.
JERRY
Ginger Baker.
ABBIE
Thank you. The crowd outside is so
big it’s as if we’re Ginger Baker,
is what I was trying to say.
KUNSTLER
Are you stoned?
ABBIE
Yeah. You?
KUNSTLER goes back to his seat and settles in. Then he turns
to TOM--
KUNSTLER
(quietly)
You remember what I said.
TOM
Okay, and you remember to keep us
out of prison.
KUNSTLER
A lot of good advice this morning.
The heavy wooden door behind the bench opens--
BAILIFF
All rise!

--and JUDGE HOFFMAN takes his place at the bench. It’s not
entirely clear whether HOFFMAN is a bad judge, in the tank
for the prosecution, experiencing early senility or a
combination of all three.
BAILIFF (CONT'D)
Hear yea, hear yea. September 26,
1969, 10 o’clock A.M. All persons
having business before the United
States District Court of Northern
Illinois, Southern District,
Eastern Division draw near and they
shall be heard. Judge Julius
Hoffman presiding. God save the
United States of America and this
Honorable Court.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Marshal, bring in our jury.
The jury is led in as JUDGE HOFFMAN continues...
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
As I look out into the gallery I
see we have a full house. Some of
you started forming a line early
this morning. I’ll caution you that
this isn’t a sporting event. Let
the record show that we’ve been
joined by our twelve jurors and
four alternates. Mrs. Winter,
please call the case.
MRS. WINTER
69 CR 180, United States of America
vs. David Dellinger, Rennard C.
Davis, Thomas Hayden, Abbott
Hoffman, Jerry C. Rubin, Lee
Weiner, John R. Froines and Bobby
G. Seale for trial.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Are the People ready to make
opening arguments?
SCHULTZ
(standing)
We are, Your Honor.
TITLE:
Trial Day 1
BOBBY stands--

BOBBY
I don’t have my lawyer here.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
It’s not your turn to speak.
BOBBY
My trial’s begun without my lawyer.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Please sit. Mr. Schultz?
SCHULTZ takes a moment and begins--
SCHULTZ
Good morning, my name is Richard
Schultz and I’m an Assistant U.S.
Attorney for the Southern District
of Illinois. Seated at my table is
my boss, U.S. Attorney Thomas
Foran. I guess you could say I’m
seated at his table. At the defense
table are the eight defendants
represented by their lawyers,
William Kunstler and Leonard
Weinglass. The defendants would
tell you they represent three
different groups. They would tell
you that one group--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Excuse me.
SCHULTZ
Yes sir.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I’d like to clarify something for
the jurors. There are two Hoffmans
in this courtroom. The defendant,
Abbie Hoffman, and myself, Judge
Julius Hoffman.
There’s an awkward silence...is he done?
SCHULTZ
Thank you, sir.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I didn’t want there to be confusion
on the matter.

ABBIE
Man, I don’t think there’s much
chance they’re going to mix us up.
The gallery LAUGHS a little...
JUDGE HOFFMAN
You will address this Court as
Judge or Your Honor and you will
not address this Court until--you
will not address this Court.
TOM is dying a little but stays cool.
SCHULTZ
The defendants would tell you they
represent three different groups.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
And the record should reflect that
defendant Hoffman and I aren’t
related.
ABBIE
Father no!
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Hoffman, are you familiar with
contempt of court?
ABBIE
It’s practically a religion for me,
sir.
The gallery LAUGHS and TOM adjusts in his chair.
SCHULTZ
(pause)
Your Honor?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Continue.
SCHULTZ
Rennie Davis and Tom Hayden are the
leaders of the SDS--Students for a
Democratic Society. Hayden and
Davis brought their people to
Chicago for the purpose of causing
violence in the streets in order to
disrupt the Democratic Convention.
You know the Youth International
Party as the Yippies. Their leaders
are Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin.
(MORE)

SCHULTZ (CONT'D)
Bobby Seale is the leader of the
Black Panther Party. The defendants
would tell you these are three
distinct groups, but they’re all--
BOBBY
(standing)
Excuse me.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Yes?
BOBBY
May I speak?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
No sir.
BOBBY
He just said my name.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
You’re a defendant in this case,
you’re likely to hear your name.
BOBBY
I have a right to counsel and His
Honor knows that.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Don’t tell the Court what it does
and doesn’t know. Be seated.
BOBBY sits.
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
Mr. Schultz.
SCHULTZ
...the radical left, that’s all.
They’re the radical left in
different costumes. The eight
defendants had a plan. A plan among
two or more people is a conspiracy.
The defendants crossed state lines
to execute their plan, that’s why
we’re in federal court. The plan
was to incite a riot. And there’s
one thing you already know. They
succeeded.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
Excuse me. Have we identified the
other defendants for the record?
Mr. Weener?
WEINER
Weiner.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Froines and Mr. Dillinger?
DAVE
Dellinger.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
(pause)
What is going on here?
SCHULTZ
You’re Honor, you’re referring to
the defendant Dellinger.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Derringer.
SCHULTZ
Dellinger, sir.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Note the prosecution was referring
to the defendant Derringer, not
Dellinger.
KUNSTLER
It is Dellinger, Your Honor.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Can we straighten this out?
ABBIE
Dillinger was a bank robber,
Derringer is a gun, he’s David
Dellinger and the judge and I
aren’t related.
FORAN
Your Honor, I’d like to caution the
Court that this kind of disruption
and display of disrespect will be a
continuing tactic for defense.

KUNSTLER
Sir, it’s not a tactic. At the
moment, the defendants are the only
ones on record as knowing their own
names.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Be seated, Mr. Schultz.
(correcting himself)
Mr. Kunstler.
BOBBY
(standing)
I object to being characterized as
a member of this group.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Who is your lawyer?
BOBBY
Charles R. Garry.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Is Mr. Garry here today?
BOBBY
No he’s not.
KUNSTLER
Your Honor--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Are you representing Mr. Seale?
KUNSTLER
No sir.
FRED HAMPTON leans forward and whispers something to BOBBY...
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Then sit. Mr. Schultz, forgive me,
have you concluded your opening
statement?
SCHULTZ
Yes, Your Honor.
BOBBY
My lawyer, Charles Garry, is in a
hospital in Oakland having
undergone gallbladder surgery.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Kunstler, you’re sitting right
next to the man, just represent
him. It’s the same case.
KUNSTLER
The fact that there’s a lawyer near
Mr. Seale doesn’t satisfy the
requirements of due process.
BOBBY
I have a right--
KUNSTLER
(putting his hand up to
BOBBY)
A motion was made for postponement
due to Mr. Garry’s medical
condition. I was there. Your Honor
denied that motion and therefore
Mr. Seale is here without legal
representation.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I don’t care for your general tone,
Mr. Kunstler.
KUNSTLER
I meant no disrespect to the Court,
sir. I’m trying to be clear that I
can’t muddy Mr. Seale’s grounds
for appeal by appearing to speak as
his lawyer.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I don’t ask you to compromise Mr.
Seale’s position, sir, but I will
not permit him to address the jury
with his very competent lawyer
seated--
Out of nowhere--
JERRY
Jesus Christ, for the fourth time,
he’s not Bobby’s lawyer!
This was TOM’s nightmare.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
You’re Mr. Rubin?
JERRY
Yes sir.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
Don’t ever do that again.
BOBBY
Your Honor, I’m not with these
guys. I never even met most of them
until--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
We’ll have order.
BOBBY
--the indictment.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
We will have order.
BOBBY
There are eight of us and there are
signs out there that say “Free the
Chicago 7”--I’m not with them.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Marshal, will you seat Mr.
Seale?
We see a WHITE MARSHAL whisper to a BLACK MARSHAL in the back
of the courtroom--the BLACK MARSHAL heads down the aisle
toward Bobby as Bobby continues--
BOBBY
You’re saying it’s a conspiracy. I
never met most of them until the
indictment. Speaking frankly, the
U.S. Attorney wanted a Negro
defendant to scare the jury. I was
thrown in to make the group look
scarier. I came to Chicago, I gave
a speech, I had a chicken pot pie,
went to the airport and flew back
to Oakland and that’s why they call
the eight of us the Chicago--
(to the MARSHAL)
--get your hands off me.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Charge Mr. Seale with one count of
Contempt of Court.
Off of TOM’s barely-hidden frustration we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In a tense and chaotic courtroom scene on the first day of the trial, various defendants and their lawyers navigate the complexities of their situation. Bobby Seale, handcuffed and frustrated by his lack of legal representation, clashes with the judge and prosecutors, while Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin provide sarcastic commentary amidst the turmoil. As the trial begins, conflicts arise over courtroom decorum and rights, leading to Bobby being charged with contempt. The scene captures the emotional turmoil and dark humor of the defendants as they confront the injustices of their trial.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Strong character interactions
  • High conflict level
  • Emotional impact
Weaknesses
  • Confusion over names
  • Disrespectful behavior in the courtroom

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is intense and gripping, with a high level of conflict and emotional impact. The dialogue is sharp and confrontational, driving the plot forward and setting up the stakes for the trial.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the start of a high-stakes trial involving multiple defendants and legal complexities. It effectively introduces the central conflict and sets the tone for the rest of the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial as it establishes the legal proceedings, the characters' relationships, and the central conflict of the trial. It moves the story forward significantly and sets up the overarching narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh take on a courtroom drama, blending humor and drama effectively. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, offering a unique perspective on the legal system and activism.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their personalities shine through in their interactions. The scene effectively showcases their defiance, confusion, and determination, setting up potential character arcs.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their demeanor and relationships during the scene, setting up potential arcs for growth, conflict, and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain their individual identity and integrity amidst the chaos and confusion of the trial. They strive to assert their independence and not be lumped together with others unfairly.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the legal proceedings and assert their rights within the courtroom setting. They aim to challenge the authority and ensure fair treatment despite the challenges they face.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with tensions running high between the defendants, their lawyers, and the judge. The clash of personalities and legalities creates a compelling and intense atmosphere.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing legal constraints, power struggles, and personal conflicts. The audience is kept guessing about the outcomes and the characters' fates, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, with legal implications, personal reputations, and freedom on the line for the defendants. The outcome of the trial could have far-reaching consequences for all involved.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing key plot points, establishing the central conflict, and setting up the dynamics between the characters. It propels the narrative towards the trial proceedings.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the characters' unexpected actions and the shifting power dynamics within the courtroom. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflicts will unfold and the impact on the trial.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident is the clash between individual rights and the legal system's constraints. The defendants challenge the system's assumptions and biases, highlighting the tension between personal autonomy and institutional control.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a significant emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, defiance, and uncertainty. The interactions between the characters and the high stakes of the trial heighten the emotional intensity.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and impactful, driving the scene forward and revealing key character traits. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict within the courtroom.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic interactions, witty dialogue, and escalating conflicts. The audience is drawn into the courtroom drama and the characters' struggles, creating a sense of tension and intrigue.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining audience interest. The rapid exchanges and confrontations create a sense of urgency and momentum, driving the narrative forward and highlighting key conflicts.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue cues. The visual elements are well-defined, enhancing the reader's understanding of the setting and character dynamics.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a courtroom drama, with clear delineation of characters, dialogue-driven interactions, and a gradual build-up of tension and conflict. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic energy of the trial's opening, mirroring the historical context of the Chicago 7 trial and establishing the tone of disorder that defines the story. It introduces key conflicts early, such as Bobby Seale's lack of representation and the mispronunciations of names, which highlight themes of injustice and systemic bias, helping viewers understand the defendants' frustrations and the trial's absurdity.
  • However, the scene feels overcrowded with multiple character interactions and subplots crammed into a single sequence, which can overwhelm the audience. For instance, the banter between Froines and Weiner, Tom's discussion with Rennie about the list of deaths, and Abbie's stoned humor all compete for attention, diluting the focus on the central conflict of the trial's commencement and Bobby Seale's disruption.
  • Dialogue is a strength in conveying character personalities—Abbie's sarcasm and Jerry's quirkiness add levity and historical authenticity—but it sometimes borders on caricature, particularly with Abbie's stoned state and flippant remarks, which might undermine the scene's seriousness. This could make it harder for viewers to connect emotionally with the gravity of the trial, especially for those unfamiliar with the historical events.
  • Pacing issues arise from the rapid shifts between conversations and the buildup to Schultz's opening statement, which is frequently interrupted. While these interruptions build tension, they can feel disjointed, making the scene drag in places and potentially confusing the narrative flow. The contempt charge at the end feels abrupt, not fully earning the emotional weight it could have with better buildup.
  • Character development is uneven; Bobby Seale's entrance and conflict are compelling and serve as a strong hook, but other defendants like Froines and Weiner are relegated to expository side notes, feeling underdeveloped. This misses an opportunity to deepen the ensemble dynamic, as their confusion about being indicted could be explored more to humanize them and tie into the theme of arbitrary persecution.
  • Visually, the scene relies heavily on dialogue with limited action descriptions, which might make it less cinematic. Elements like the marshals' presence and the gallery's reactions are mentioned but not fully utilized to enhance the atmosphere, reducing the immersive quality that could heighten the sense of a high-stakes, public spectacle.
Suggestions
  • Streamline the character interactions by focusing on 2-3 key exchanges per defendant group (e.g., consolidate Froines and Weiner's dialogue into a shorter, more impactful moment) to reduce clutter and maintain a clearer narrative focus.
  • Enhance pacing by structuring the scene with a clearer progression: start with establishing shots and lighter banter to set the scene, build tension through interruptions during Schultz's statement, and culminate in Bobby's contempt charge, ensuring each beat escalates naturally.
  • Balance humor and seriousness by integrating Abbie's comedic elements more subtly, perhaps tying them to his anxiety or deflection tactics, to avoid alienating the audience and ensure the levity serves to underscore the absurdity of the trial rather than overshadowing it.
  • Develop character moments further by adding subtle visual cues or internal reactions, such as close-ups on Tom's frustration or Rennie's solemnity with the death list, to make emotions more relatable and deepen audience investment in the ensemble.
  • Incorporate more visual and action elements, like panning shots of the gallery's diverse reactions or symbolic details (e.g., the marshals' badges or the jury's expressions), to break up the dialogue-heavy sections and make the scene more dynamic and engaging on screen.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by referencing elements from previous scenes, such as the reporter scrum or the Attorney General meeting, through brief dialogue or visual callbacks, to reinforce the narrative continuity and show how the trial's chaos stems from earlier events.



Scene 13 - Divided Strategies
42 INT. DEFENSE CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 42
This is the room where the defendants will meet privately
with their lawyers during recesses. There’s a carton of deli
sandwiches on the table and some cokes.
The defendants and lawyers are filing in. TOM’s the last one
in and he slams the door behind himself, which gets
everyone’s attention.
TOM
We have to make a decision right
now--a decision I just assumed we’d
already made four months ago when
trial prep began. Are we using this
trial to defend ourselves against
very serious charges that could
land us in prison for 10 years or
are we using it to say a pointless
fuck you to the establishment?
JERRY
Fuck you.
TOM
That’s what I was afraid--Wait, I
don’t know if you were saying “fuck
you” or answering the question.
ABBIE
I was also confused.
JERRY
If we leave here without saying
anything about why we came in the
first place, it’ll be
heartbreaking.
TOM
If the jury finds us guilty we’re
not gonna be leaving here at all.
And the only thing we need to say
about why we came is that it wasn’t
to incite violence.
DAVE
I’m with Jerry.
TOM
(beat)
Why?
DAVE
The trial shouldn’t be about us.

TOM
I would love it if it wasn’t about
us but it definitely is.
John? Lee?
FROINES
Yeah.
WEINER
Yes sir.
TOM
Do you guys want to say anything?
WEINER
Does anyone think our judge might
be crazy?
TOM
The judge isn’t our problem.
FROINES
Give it time ‘cause I think he’s
gonna be.
TOM
I’m talking about us. Abbie, you
can’t talk back to the judge. And
Jerry--Jesus.
ABBIE
(finally speaking up)
Did you get a haircut just for
court?
TOM
(pause)
I did.
ABBIE
You did. You got a haircut for the
judge. That’s--I can’t even--that
is so foreign to me.
TOM
So’s soap.
ABBIE
Zing.

TOM
Let me explain something--it took
you two less than five minutes to
make us look exactly like what
Schultz is trying to make us look
like.
JERRY
I don’t have a problem with what we
look like.
ABBIE
Jerry likes what we look like.
John? Lee?
FROINES
Yeah.
WEINER
I always feel like I’m ten-pounds
too heavy, but yeah.
ABBIE
Dave?
DAVE
I don’t like when we fight.
ABBIE
Rennie?
RENNIE
Tom should be heard.
ABBIE
And he was. But when we walked in
here this morning they were
chanting that the whole world is
watching. This is it, we’re on.
This is what revolution’s gonna
look like. Real revolution.
Cultural revolution.
TOM
Why did you come here?
ABBIE
I got an invitation from a grand
jury.
TOM
Last summer. Why did you come to
the convention?

ABBIE
To end the war.
TOM
Guys, before you tether yourselves
to this man, just know that the
very last thing he wants is for the
war to end.
DAVE
Hang on--
TOM
I don’t have time for cultural
revolution. It distracts from
actual revolution.
KUNSTLER
Alright, did everybody get
everything off their chests?
The door opens and FRED HAMPTON comes in--
FRED
(to KUNSTLER)
What in the name of hell was that?!
KUNSTLER
Evidently not.
FRED
You stood up and spoke for Bobby.
KUNSTLER
I made it very clear I’m not his
lawyer.
FRED
I’d like to sit in on these
meetings.
KUNSTLER
You can’t.
FRED
I think I will anyway.
KUNSTLER
Fred--
FRED
Bobby’s life is at stake and you
guys are playin’ to the crowd?

TOM
Thank you.
FRED
Shut up. The white guys are in a
furnished room while Bobby’s in a
holding cell.
KUNSTLER
The white guys are free on bail.
Bobby’s locked up ‘cause he’s under
arrest in Connecticut for killing a
cop, it’s not like he refused to
give up his seat on a bus.
WEINGLASS
You have to convince him to let
Bill and me represent him, just for
today at least.
KUNSTLER
The judge is--
JERRY
Fuckin’ nuts.
KUNSTLER
--a little hostile, and I’m sure
Garry didn’t anticipate that.
FRED
(pause)
He’s innocent in Connecticut.
KUNSTLER
Alright.
FRED
He’s never killed anyone. It’s
important you all know that.
KUNSTLER
You have to try to convince him.
FRED
I can’t.
KUNSTLER
Try.
FRED
I have!
(beat)
He needs to do it his way.

KUNSTLER
Keep trying, alright?
FRED nods.
A MARSHAL sticks his head in the door--
MARSHAL
We’re back.
The MARSHAL exits.
KUNSTLER
Let’s go. Abbie, Jerry, unless
you’re asked a direct question,
shut your mouths while we’re in
that room.
ABBIE
(barely audible)
This is a political trial.
KUNSTLER
What?
ABBIE
This is a political trial. That was
already decided for us. Ignoring
that reality is just...weird to me.
KUNSTLER
There are civil trials and there
are criminal trials. There’s no
such thing as a political trial.
ABBIE
(beat--smiles)
Okay.
ABBIE heads out with everyone else. WEINGLASS stops TOM for a
moment...
WEINGLASS
Abbie’s smarter than you think he
is.
TOM
Cows are smarter than I think he
is.
They walk out the door as we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary During a trial recess, the defendants and their lawyers gather in a conference room to debate their defense strategy. Tom urges the group to focus on avoiding prison time, while Abbie and Jerry advocate for using the trial as a platform for protest. Tensions rise as Fred Hampton enters, upset about Bobby Seale's lack of representation. The scene highlights the ideological divide among the defendants and the urgency of their situation, ending with the group preparing to return to court.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion in the characters' motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is well-structured, intense, and pivotal in setting up the dynamics and conflicts that will drive the narrative forward. The dialogue is sharp and reveals the characters' motivations and tensions effectively.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of the scene revolves around the characters' struggle to define their purpose in the trial, balancing personal convictions with legal strategy. This conflict drives the narrative forward and sets the stage for further developments.

Plot: 8.7

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene as the characters grapple with crucial decisions that will impact the outcome of the trial. The conflicts introduced here lay the foundation for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to legal drama by intertwining political ideologies with personal conflicts. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.9

The characters are well-developed and their personalities shine through in their interactions. Each character's unique traits and beliefs contribute to the tension and drama of the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Several characters undergo subtle changes in their perspectives and approaches during the scene, setting the stage for potential growth and development as the narrative progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate the moral and strategic dilemmas of their trial, grappling with the choice between defending themselves against serious charges or making a statement against the establishment. This reflects their deeper need for justice and their fear of imprisonment.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to strategize their defense in the trial and maintain unity among the group. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of facing serious charges and the need to present a coherent defense.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, both internally among the characters and externally in their legal situation. Tensions run high as the characters confront their beliefs and the challenges they face.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, internal tensions, and external pressures creating obstacles for the characters. The audience is left uncertain about the characters' decisions and their implications.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are extremely high in this scene, as the characters face the possibility of lengthy prison sentences and must navigate a complex legal battle that could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly by introducing key conflicts, decisions, and tensions that will shape the characters' trajectories and the overall narrative arc.

Unpredictability: 8.5

The scene is unpredictable due to the shifting allegiances, conflicting viewpoints, and unexpected revelations among the characters. The audience is kept on edge about the decisions and outcomes.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the tension between individual ideals of revolution and the practicalities of legal defense. This challenges the protagonists' beliefs in the effectiveness of their actions and the consequences of their choices.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, as the characters' struggles and defiance resonate on a personal and thematic level. The stakes are high, and the emotional intensity is palpable.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and reflective of the characters' inner conflicts and motivations. It drives the scene forward and reveals important aspects of each character's personality.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of tension, humor, and ideological conflicts. The dynamic interactions between characters and the high stakes of the trial keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and character development. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue formatting. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a legal drama, with clear character introductions, conflict development, and thematic exploration. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the internal divisions among the defendants, highlighting the ideological clash between Tom's pragmatic approach to the trial and Abbie's revolutionary zeal. This conflict is crucial for character development and mirrors the historical tensions within the Chicago 7 group, making it engaging and informative for readers unfamiliar with the events. However, the dialogue occasionally feels overly didactic, with characters explicitly stating their philosophies (e.g., Tom's accusation that Abbie doesn't want the war to end), which can reduce subtlety and make the scene feel less natural. As a screenplay, this could benefit from more show-don't-tell techniques to convey these ideas through actions or subtext.
  • The humor in the banter, such as Abbie's mockery of Tom's haircut and the soap comment, adds levity and humanizes the characters, preventing the scene from becoming too heavy-handed. Yet, this comedic element sometimes undercuts the high stakes of the trial, potentially diluting the tension built from the previous chaotic courtroom scene. A better balance could be struck to maintain the emotional weight while using humor to reveal character flaws and relationships.
  • Fred Hampton's abrupt entrance shifts the focus and introduces a new layer of conflict regarding Bobby Seale's representation, which is thematically relevant. However, this interruption feels somewhat forced and could disrupt the flow, as it diverts attention from the ongoing debate without strong narrative justification. Integrating his arrival more organically, perhaps by hinting at his presence earlier, would improve pacing and make the scene feel more cohesive.
  • The scene's structure, with multiple characters chiming in and polling each other, effectively builds a sense of group dynamics and democratic decision-making. That said, it can become repetitive and convoluted, with similar sentiments being expressed redundantly (e.g., repeated affirmations from Froines and Weiner). This might confuse readers or viewers, and tightening the dialogue could enhance clarity and focus on the core conflict between Tom and Abbie.
  • Overall, the scene serves as a pivotal moment for establishing the defendants' strategies and personal animosities, which pays off in later scenes. However, it risks feeling static since it's mostly talkative, with limited visual action. As a screenplay, incorporating more dynamic elements, like physical gestures or environmental details (e.g., the deli sandwiches symbolizing normalcy amid chaos), could make it more cinematic and engaging.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to incorporate more subtext, allowing characters to imply their criticisms rather than stating them directly. For example, instead of Tom explicitly saying Abbie doesn't want the war to end, show it through contrasting actions or past references to make the revelation more impactful and less confrontational.
  • Balance humor and drama by ensuring comedic moments serve to heighten character tensions rather than diffuse them. For instance, Abbie's haircut jab could be tied more closely to the trial's themes, perhaps linking it to conformity versus rebellion, to add depth without lightening the mood excessively.
  • Smooth transitions and interruptions by foreshadowing key events, such as Fred Hampton's entrance. This could be achieved by adding a line or visual cue earlier in the scene, like a marshal mentioning an unexpected visitor, to make his arrival feel less abrupt and more integrated into the narrative flow.
  • Condense repetitive dialogue and focus on fewer, more representative character responses to improve pacing. For example, group the affirmations from Froines and Weiner into a single, concise exchange to avoid redundancy and keep the scene moving forward.
  • Enhance visual storytelling by adding descriptive actions or details that reinforce the emotional undercurrents. Describe characters' body language, such as Tom slamming the door with force or Abbie's smug smile, to convey tension and personality, making the scene more vivid and engaging for a film audience.



Scene 14 - The Permit Denial
43 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 43
DAVID STAHL is on the stand.
STAHL
S-T-A-H-L.
TITLE:
Trial Day 3
SCHULTZ
What is your occupation?
STAHL
I am the mayor’s administrative
officer.
SCHULTZ
Calling your attention to March
26th, 1968, did you have a meeting
on that day?
STAHL
Yes.
SCHULTZ
With whom?
44 INT. STAHL’S OFFICE - DAY 44
As ABBIE and JERRY step in.
STAHL
Mr. Hoffman, Mr. Rubin is it?
ABBIE
Abbie and Jerry’s fine.
CUT BACK TO:
45 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 45
SCHULTZ
What was said at the meeting?

STAHL
I was told that the Youth
International Party would be
holding a Festival of Life in Grant
Park during the Democratic National
Convention, that there would be
thousands of young people attending
and that there would be rock bands
playing in the park.
46 INT. STAHL'S OFFICE - DAY 46
JERRY
Music will be performed.
STAHL
Rock music?
JERRY
I would think.
CUT BACK TO:
47 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 47
STAHL
They also said there would be
public fornication.
SCHULTZ
Say that again, sir?
48 INT. STAHL’S OFFICE - DAY 48
JERRY
Public fornication.
STAHL
You’re asking for a parks permit
for public--
JERRY
Yeah.
ABBIE
And rock music.
STAHL
No. Of course not.

ABBIE
What if it was R&B?
CUT BACK TO:
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Political Drama"]

Summary In Scene 14, during Trial Day 3, David Stahl, the mayor's administrative officer, testifies in court about a meeting with Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin regarding a controversial permit request for the Youth International Party's Festival of Life. As prosecutor Schultz questions Stahl, the scene intercuts with a flashback to the informal meeting where Abbie and Jerry humorously pitch their event, which includes rock music and public fornication, only to be met with Stahl's firm denials. The contrast between the serious courtroom atmosphere and the absurdity of the flashback highlights the tension between authority and counterculture.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of serious legal testimony and humorous banter
  • Engaging dialogue that reveals character dynamics
  • Smooth transitions between different settings and tones
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene
  • Potential for the humor to overshadow the gravity of the legal proceedings

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances the serious legal proceedings with light-hearted banter, showcasing a mix of tones that keeps the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of juxtaposing serious legal matters with humorous exchanges adds depth to the scene, offering a multi-dimensional view of the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as the testimony reveals key information about the planned event, setting the stage for future developments in the trial.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh perspective by juxtaposing the formality of the courtroom with the counterculture movement, creating a dynamic conflict. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters exhibit a range of emotions and dynamics, showcasing their personalities through both their professional and personal interactions.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions hint at potential shifts in dynamics and perspectives.

Internal Goal: 8

David Stahl's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the questioning about the meeting and the controversial events discussed. This reflects his desire to protect his reputation and position in the face of potentially damaging information.

External Goal: 7.5

David Stahl's external goal is to handle the legal proceedings and questions effectively to avoid any negative consequences for himself or the mayor's office.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The conflict arises subtly through the differing perspectives and intentions of the characters, adding layers to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong as Stahl faces challenging questions and conflicting accounts, creating uncertainty about his credibility and the unfolding events.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate in this scene, with the focus on legal proceedings and character dynamics rather than immediate high-risk situations.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about the planned event and setting the stage for future developments in the trial.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations about the Festival of Life and the tension between the characters, leaving the audience uncertain about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the traditional values represented by the legal system and the more liberal, free-spirited values of the counterculture movement. This challenges Stahl's beliefs about authority and societal norms.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions from the audience, blending seriousness with humor to create a nuanced emotional experience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is engaging, blending serious legal discourse with witty exchanges, adding depth to the characters and enhancing the scene's overall impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, conflicting ideologies, and the suspenseful questioning that keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing effectively builds tension through the interrogation and the back-and-forth between the characters, maintaining a sense of urgency and intrigue.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the conventions of a screenplay, clearly delineating the different locations and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a courtroom drama, effectively transitioning between locations and maintaining a coherent narrative flow.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the courtroom testimony and the flashback to Stahl's office is a strong narrative device that effectively contrasts the formal, tense atmosphere of the trial with the more casual, humorous interaction in the past. This technique helps to visually and emotionally engage the audience by showing rather than telling the events, which is a hallmark of good screenwriting. However, the rapid back-and-forth might feel disjointed if not paced carefully, potentially confusing viewers who are not fully oriented in the timeline, especially since the flashbacks are brief and lack transitional cues. This could dilute the impact of the revelation about the permit denial, making it harder for the audience to connect emotionally with the characters' motivations.
  • The dialogue in the flashback scenes, particularly Abbie's sarcastic remark about R&B music, adds levity and characterizes him as witty and defiant, which aligns with his historical persona and the film's tone. Yet, it risks coming across as overly cartoonish or anachronistic if not grounded in the era's context, potentially undermining the seriousness of the trial's stakes. Stahl's responses are straightforward and functional, but they lack depth, portraying him more as a bureaucratic foil than a fully realized character, which might make the conflict feel one-sided and less engaging for the audience.
  • Thematically, this scene reinforces the overarching conflict between activist idealism and institutional resistance, building on the chaos established in previous scenes like the trial's opening and the recess discussion. It effectively highlights the absurdity of the charges through the permit request for 'public fornication,' which could symbolize the government's overreaction to counterculture. However, the scene doesn't advance character development significantly; for instance, Abbie and Jerry's banter feels repetitive from earlier scenes, and it doesn't deepen their arcs or resolve any tensions from Scene 13, where similar strategic disagreements were debated. This could make the scene feel like filler rather than a pivotal moment in the narrative progression.
  • Visually, the scene uses simple, effective staging in both settings—the sterile courtroom and the informal office—to underscore the power dynamics, with Schultz's questioning driving the pace. The humor in the flashback, such as Jerry confirming 'public fornication,' provides comic relief but might overshadow the gravity of the trial, especially in a story dealing with serious historical events. Additionally, the scene's brevity and focus on exposition could slow the overall momentum of the screenplay, as it's one of many testimony scenes, potentially leading to audience fatigue if not varied in style or content.
Suggestions
  • To improve clarity in the intercutting, add subtle visual or auditory transitions, such as a sound bridge or a matching action (e.g., Stahl's gesture in the flashback mirroring his testimony), to make the shifts between past and present smoother and more intuitive for the audience.
  • Enhance Stahl's character by adding a line or two that reveals his personal stakes or internal conflict, such as a brief moment where he expresses discomfort with denying the permit, to make the confrontation more nuanced and less black-and-white, thereby increasing dramatic tension.
  • Strengthen the connection to the larger narrative by tying the flashback dialogue more explicitly to the defendants' frustrations discussed in Scene 13; for example, have Abbie reference the trial's absurdity in the courtroom cutaways, linking the permit denial to their current legal jeopardy and advancing character arcs.
  • Vary the pacing by incorporating more dynamic elements, such as close-ups on facial reactions during key lines or a brief pause for comedic effect in the flashback, to maintain energy and prevent the scene from feeling static; consider shortening repetitive dialogue to keep the focus on escalating conflict.
  • To balance humor and seriousness, adjust the tone in the flashback by grounding Abbie's sarcasm in genuine passion for the cause, ensuring it doesn't trivialize the themes; additionally, explore adding a visual motif, like a recurring symbol of rebellion, to tie this scene thematically to other parts of the script.



Scene 15 - Defiance in the Courtroom
49 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 49
SCHULTZ
Did you issue the permits?
STAHL
I did not.
SCHULTZ
And what if anything did Abbie
Hoffman say when you denied the
request for the permits?
50 INT. STAHL'S OFFICE - DAY 50
ABBIE
Mr. Stahl, you need to understand
something. There’s going to be a
Festival of Life in Grant Park and
it will be held during the
convention. Bands will play rock
music. There will be public
fornication, likely some of it with
the wives and mistresses of
delegates. Psychedelic long-haired
leftists will consort with dope
users. And we’re going to insist
that the next President of the
United States stop sending our
friends to be slaughtered. These
things are going to happen whether
you give us the permit or not.
STAHL looks at them for a long moment...
STAHL
The hotel rooms will be filled with
delegates. Where will people sleep?
ABBIE
Some people will sleep in tents.
Others will live frivolously.
STAHL
How many people are coming here?

JERRY
A lot.
STAHL
What’s alot? A thousand? Two-
thousand?
JERRY
Ten-thousand.
STAHL
Jesus Christ.
ABBIE
Right?
CUT BACK TO:
51 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 51
SCHULTZ
Did Abbie Hoffman add something at
the end of that meeting?
STAHL
Yes.
SCHULTZ
What did he say?
STAHL
He said--
52 INT. STAHL'S OFFICE - DAY 52
ABBIE
Or you could gimme a hundred grand
and I could call the whole thing
off.
CUT BACK TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In scene 15, attorney Schultz interrogates witness Stahl in a courtroom about the permits for the Festival of Life. Stahl reveals he did not issue any permits and recounts a flashback to a tense meeting with activists Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin, where Abbie boldly declares the festival will proceed regardless of permits, detailing its provocative nature. The scene highlights the clash between authority and activism, with Schultz pressing for details while Abbie's defiance adds a layer of dark humor. The courtroom tension escalates as Stahl prepares to recount Abbie's audacious offer to cancel the event for $100,000.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Tension building
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited character changes
  • Some repetitive elements in negotiation

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, filled with tension, humor, and absurdity, effectively conveying the defiance of the characters and the seriousness of the situation.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of negotiating a controversial event permit in a legal setting is intriguing and well-executed, adding depth to the characters and the plot.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses significantly through the negotiation, revealing character dynamics and setting up conflicts that drive the story forward.

Originality: 8.5

The scene presents a fresh approach to the conflict between countercultural movements and establishment figures, blending elements of activism, rebellion, and bureaucratic resistance. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and resonate with the historical context of the 1960s counterculture.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, each showcasing distinct personalities and motivations that drive the negotiation forward.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the negotiation reveals more about the characters' personalities and motivations.

Internal Goal: 9

Abbie's internal goal is to challenge authority, fight for social justice, and disrupt the status quo. This reflects his deeper desire for societal change and his fear of continued oppression and injustice.

External Goal: 8

Abbie's external goal is to obtain permits for the Festival of Life in Grant Park during the convention. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of navigating bureaucratic obstacles and gaining official approval for a countercultural event.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters, their differing ideologies, and the high stakes of the negotiation create a tense and engaging atmosphere.

Opposition: 8.5

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals, power struggles, and unpredictable outcomes that create suspense and drive the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the negotiation, including the controversial event permit and the clash of ideologies, heighten the tension and importance of the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by setting up conflicts, revealing character dynamics, and escalating tensions within the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the characters' conflicting strategies, the uncertain outcome of the permit request, and the shifting power dynamics between the protagonists and antagonists.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict lies in the clash between traditional authority and radical activism. Stahl represents the establishment's values of order and control, while Abbie embodies the values of freedom, rebellion, and social change. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the system and the need for disruptive activism.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions from defiance to humor, keeping the audience emotionally invested in the negotiation.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reflective of each character's personality, adding depth and authenticity to the negotiation scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, ideological conflict, and dynamic dialogue that keeps the audience invested in the characters' goals and motivations.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum through the rapid exchanges of dialogue, the strategic placement of reveals, and the shifting dynamics between characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, clearly delineating the locations, characters, and dialogue to enhance readability and visualization.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format typical of courtroom and office settings, effectively alternating between locations to build tension and convey the conflict between characters.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting between the courtroom testimony and the flashback to Stahl's office, which is a strong technique for revealing backstory and building tension. This method allows the audience to see the events being described in real-time, making the testimony more engaging and dynamic, rather than relying on dry recounting. However, this approach can sometimes feel repetitive if similar structures are used frequently in the script, potentially desensitizing the audience to the technique by scene 15. In this case, it works well to contrast the sterile, formal environment of the trial with the chaotic, humorous energy of the activists' meeting, highlighting the theme of authority versus rebellion, but it might benefit from more variation in pacing to avoid predictability.
  • Abbie's dialogue is characteristically sharp and satirical, effectively portraying his role as a provocative figure and adding levity to the scene. Lines like 'Or you could gimme a hundred grand and I could call the whole thing off' capture his wit and anti-establishment stance, which helps in character development and maintains the script's tone of blending humor with serious political commentary. That said, some dialogue feels overly expository, such as the detailed description of the Festival of Life events (e.g., 'Bands will play rock music. There will be public fornication...'), which could come across as telling rather than showing, making the scene less subtle and potentially alienating viewers who prefer nuanced storytelling. This directness might serve to advance the plot but risks simplifying complex characters into caricatures.
  • The conflict in the scene is primarily external, driven by the permit denial and Stahl's reactions, which escalates tension effectively. Stahl's shocked responses, like 'Jesus Christ,' add a human element to the authority figure, showing his discomfort and highlighting the power imbalance. However, the scene lacks deeper internal conflict or character growth; for instance, Jerry's role is minimal and reactive, reducing his presence to a supporting character without much agency in this moment. This could make the scene feel one-dimensional, as it focuses heavily on Abbie's bravado without exploring how these interactions affect the other characters or the group's dynamics, which is a missed opportunity given the rich interpersonal tensions established in earlier scenes.
  • Visually, the scene is well-described with clear slug lines and actions, such as Stahl looking at Abbie and Jerry for a long moment, which builds suspense. The transition back to the courtroom at the end maintains momentum, but the overall visual style might benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience, like describing the expressions on faces or the atmosphere in the room (e.g., tense silence or nervous energy). Additionally, the scene's placement as scene 15 in a 60-scene script means it should be advancing the trial's narrative arc, which it does by establishing the activists' intentions and the authorities' resistance, but it could be more integrated with the broader story by referencing or foreshadowing elements from previous scenes, such as the chaotic start of the trial in scene 12, to create a stronger sense of continuity.
  • In terms of thematic depth, the scene underscores the absurdity of bureaucratic obstacles in the face of passionate activism, a key motif in the script. Abbie's sarcastic offer to cancel for money critiques corruption and commercialization, aligning with the overall narrative of societal unrest. However, the humor might overshadow the gravity of the situation, potentially diluting the emotional impact for viewers who are deeply invested in the historical context. By scene 15, the audience has been exposed to multiple instances of similar confrontations (e.g., in scenes 14 and earlier), so this scene risks feeling formulaic if it doesn't introduce new layers, such as exploring the personal toll on Stahl or the strategic motivations behind Abbie's provocations.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to add subtext and subtlety; for example, instead of Abbie explicitly listing all the elements of the Festival of Life, have him imply them through more conversational or metaphorical language to make the scene feel less expository and more natural.
  • Vary the pacing and editing of the intercuts to increase dynamism; consider shortening some flashback sequences or adding reaction shots in the courtroom to heighten tension and prevent the scene from feeling repetitive with the technique used in scene 14.
  • Develop Jerry's character more actively in the flashback by giving him a stronger line or action that shows his personality, such as challenging Stahl directly or reacting emotionally, to balance the focus on Abbie and make the interaction feel more collaborative.
  • Incorporate additional visual or sensory elements to enhance immersion, like describing the physical reactions of characters (e.g., Stahl's facial expressions or body language) or the environment (e.g., the clutter in Stahl's office) to make the scene more cinematic and engaging.
  • Strengthen the connection to the larger narrative by including a brief reference to recent events, such as the chaotic trial start from scene 12 or Bobby Seale's absence, to improve continuity and remind the audience of the ongoing stakes without derailing the scene's focus.



Scene 16 - Cross-Examination of Government Witness Stahl
53 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 53
SCHULTZ
Thank you.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Feinglass?

WEINGLASS
Weinglass, sir. Mr. Stahl, the
meeting you just described with Mr.
Hoffman and Mr. Rubin, was that the
only meeting you had with any of
the defendants?
TITLE:
Trial Day 4
STAHL
No.
WEINGLASS
On August 2nd you had a meeting
with Tom Hayden and Rennie Davis.
54 INT. STAHL'S OFFICE - DAY 54
TOM and RENNIE are stepping in. They’re in coats and ties.
TOM
Tom Hayden.
RENNIE
Rennie Davis.
CUT BACK TO:
55 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 55
WEINGLASS
And on August 12th you had a
meeting with David Dellinger.
56 INT. STAHL'S OFFICE - DAY 56
STAHL
(to DAVE)
I’ll tell you the same thing I told
the others.
CUT BACK TO:

57 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 57
WEINGLASS
There were two more meetings with
Tom and Rennie--on the 10th and
12th of August--and there was one
more meeting with David Dellinger
on the 26th.
STAHL
I can’t be sure of the dates.
WEINGLASS
I can be sure, they’re recorded in
the log at City Hall.
STAHL
Okay.
WEINGLASS
And at each meeting, a request was
made for a permit to demonstrate in
Grant Park during the convention.
58 INT. STAHL'S OFFICE - DAY 58
DAVE
Mr. Stahl, we intend a peaceful
demonstration. We’re not interested
in violence or disturbing the
delegates.
CUT BACK TO:
59 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 59
WEINGLASS
And at each meeting the request for
permits was denied.
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Political Drama"]

Summary In Trial Day 4, defense attorney Weinglass cross-examines witness Stahl about multiple pre-convention meetings with the defendants. Stahl initially claims a single meeting occurred but is confronted with specific dates and details of several meetings where permits for peaceful demonstrations were denied. Flashbacks illustrate the defendants' respectful requests for permits, emphasizing their non-violent intentions. Weinglass counters Stahl's uncertainty with official records, reinforcing the defense's argument against the systematic denial of permits. The scene concludes with Weinglass asserting that all requests were denied.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of legal drama
  • Tension and intrigue maintained throughout
  • Clear progression of plot and character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Dialogue may be too formal for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the seriousness and complexity of legal proceedings, setting up important plot developments and character dynamics.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of legal maneuvering and courtroom drama is effectively portrayed, adding depth to the overall narrative and showcasing the complexities of the trial process.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly through the legal interactions, introducing key characters and conflicts that will drive the story forward.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on legal proceedings and protest dynamics, blending bureaucratic obstacles with moral imperatives. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and grounded in the context of the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined within the legal context, showcasing their motivations and strategies in the trial setting.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the dynamics between the characters evolve as they navigate the legal proceedings.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene may be to navigate the legal proceedings effectively while also managing the ethical implications of the case. This reflects their deeper need for justice and integrity.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to secure permits for a peaceful demonstration, reflecting the immediate challenge of facing bureaucratic denial and ensuring a non-violent protest.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between the prosecutors and witnesses, as well as the underlying tensions in the courtroom, create a high level of dramatic tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with bureaucratic denials and legal obstacles creating uncertainty and challenge for the characters. The audience is kept on edge regarding the characters' ability to secure permits.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the trial and the legal maneuvers involved add a sense of urgency and importance to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key legal elements and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics, uncertain outcomes of permit requests, and the characters' evolving strategies to navigate the legal challenges.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the clash between the characters' desire for peaceful protest and the authority's denial of permits. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the system's fairness and the right to protest.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The emotional impact is more subdued in this scene, focusing more on intellectual and strategic elements rather than emotional depth.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue serves the purpose of conveying legal arguments and strategies, maintaining a formal and tense atmosphere.

Engagement: 8.5

This scene is engaging because of its rapid exchanges, high stakes, and moral dilemmas that keep the audience invested in the characters' struggles and decisions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum, alternating between intense courtroom exchanges and quieter office discussions. It maintains a dynamic rhythm that drives the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, effectively distinguishing between different locations and characters' dialogue. It aids in the clarity and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format typical of legal drama genres, with clear transitions between the courtroom and office settings. The pacing and rhythm enhance the tension and progression of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting between the courtroom testimony and flashbacks to visually reinforce the defense's argument about systematic permit denials, which helps maintain viewer engagement and provides a clear illustration of the events in question. This technique aligns with the overall chaotic tone of the trial, making abstract legal points more concrete and accessible, which is a strength in screenwriting for keeping the audience emotionally invested in the procedural elements.
  • However, the dialogue in both the courtroom and flashbacks feels somewhat repetitive and expository, echoing similar permit denial conflicts from earlier scenes (like Scenes 14 and 15). This repetition risks dulling the impact, as it doesn't introduce significant new information or character development, potentially making the scene feel like a redundant recap rather than a progression of the narrative. For instance, Stahl's consistent denials and the defendants' assurances of peacefulness are reiterated without adding layers of tension or surprise, which could alienate viewers familiar with the buildup.
  • Character portrayal lacks depth, particularly with Stahl, who is depicted as a one-dimensional authority figure. His responses are mechanical and lack personal stakes or emotional nuance, missing an opportunity to humanize him or create more conflict. Similarly, the defendants (Tom, Rennie, and Dave) appear in the flashbacks but don't reveal new facets of their personalities; their lines are functional but don't advance their arcs, such as Tom's leadership or Rennie's idealism, which were more dynamically explored in prior scenes.
  • The scene's pacing is steady but could benefit from more variation to build dramatic tension. The back-and-forth intercutting is functional, but it doesn't escalate emotionally or cinematically, resulting in a somewhat flat rhythm that mirrors the trial's monotony without contrasting it effectively. This might cause the audience to lose interest if the scene doesn't heighten the stakes, especially given the high-energy conflicts in surrounding scenes like the chaotic trial start in Scene 12 or the ideological debates in Scene 13.
  • Thematically, the scene underscores the theme of governmental suppression and the denial of civil rights, which is central to the screenplay, but it does so in a straightforward manner that doesn't innovate or deepen the exploration. For example, while it establishes a pattern of refusals, it doesn't connect this directly to broader consequences (e.g., how these denials contributed to the riots), which could make it feel isolated from the larger narrative arc. Additionally, the visual and auditory elements, like the title card for 'Trial Day 4', are well-integrated, but they don't fully capitalize on cinematic tools to evoke empathy or outrage, such as close-ups on frustrated expressions or subtle sound cues.
  • Overall, while the scene serves a necessary expository purpose in building the defense's case, it risks feeling perfunctory in the context of the screenplay's high-stakes drama. It highlights the procedural grind of the trial but doesn't fully leverage the opportunity to showcase character growth, interpersonal dynamics, or escalating conflict, which could leave readers or viewers with a sense that this moment is more about checking a box than advancing the story's emotional or thematic depth.
Suggestions
  • Vary the pacing by introducing more dynamic camera work or editing techniques, such as quick cuts or building to a climactic revelation in the testimony, to prevent the scene from feeling repetitive and to maintain audience engagement.
  • Enhance dialogue in the flashbacks to add subtext or personal conflict; for example, have Tom or Rennie express frustration or hint at the potential consequences of denial, making their interactions with Stahl more emotionally charged and revealing of their characters.
  • Add visual or auditory elements to heighten tension, like using sound overlaps between the courtroom and flashbacks, or incorporating reaction shots of the jury, judge, or other defendants to show how this testimony affects the trial's dynamics and builds toward larger conflicts.
  • Integrate more specific details or stakes in the permit denial narrative, such as referencing how these refusals directly led to events in later scenes (e.g., the riots), to make the scene feel more connected to the overall story and less like isolated exposition.
  • Develop Stahl's character by giving him a moment of internal conflict or a personal reason for his denials, such as pressure from superiors, to add depth and make the confrontations more nuanced and engaging for the audience.
  • Shorten or condense repetitive elements in the dialogue and structure, focusing on key moments that advance the plot or reveal character, to keep the scene concise and impactful within the broader context of the 60-scene screenplay.



Scene 17 - Confrontation in Stahl's Office
60 INT. STAHL'S OFFICE - DAY 60
TOM and RENNIE are meeting with STAHL--
STAHL
I’ll tell you the same thing I told
Mr. Hoffman, Mr. Rubin and Mr.
Dellinger--
TOM
Sir--

STAHL
There will be no demonstrations
within sight of the Hilton.
TOM
We need to demonstrate near the
Hilton, that’s where the convention
is.
STAHL
There will be no demonstrations
within sight of the Hilton.
TOM
Okay, but the thing is, there will
be.
STAHL
Is that a threat, Mr. Hayden?
TOM
No. We’re cautioning you. Thousands
of people are coming to Chicago and
if they’re not given a place to
demonstrate they’re gonna
demonstrate wherever they’re
standing. It’s reckless,
irresponsible and foolishly
dangerous of the city not to
develop a contingency plan. We’re
gonna need police security and
first aid, traffic control, water,
sanitation--
CUT BACK TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In scene 60, Tom and Rennie meet with authority figure Stahl in his office, where Stahl firmly denies their request for demonstration permits near the Hilton, the site of an upcoming convention. Tom argues that demonstrations are necessary and inevitable, warning that the city's lack of a contingency plan could lead to chaos. The tension escalates as Stahl interprets Tom's insistence as a threat, but Tom clarifies it as a cautionary warning, listing essential safety measures needed for the situation. The scene ends unresolved, highlighting the conflict between authority and activism.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Effective confrontation setup
  • Clear establishment of conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, intense, and pivotal in setting up the conflict between the protesters and the establishment. It effectively conveys the tension and defiance present in the interactions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the clash of ideologies and the power struggle between the activists and the authority figure, setting the tone for the larger conflict.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly through the confrontation, highlighting the stakes and setting the stage for the legal battle that will follow.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the conflict between protesters and authorities, emphasizing the logistical challenges and moral dilemmas involved in organizing a demonstration. The dialogue feels authentic and captures the urgency of the situation.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined in their defiance and determination, showcasing their commitment to their cause and setting up their roles in the upcoming conflict.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the defiance and determination of the characters are reinforced, setting the stage for potential growth and development.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to ensure that the protesters have a safe and effective platform to demonstrate their cause. This reflects their deeper desire for social justice, safety, and the right to peaceful protest.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to negotiate with Stahl to allow demonstrations near the Hilton, where the convention is taking place. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of securing a strategic location for the protest.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with opposing ideologies and power dynamics coming to a head, setting the stage for the legal battle and the larger societal conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Stahl presenting a formidable obstacle to the protagonist's goals. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding to the dramatic tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters confront the authority figure, setting the tone for the legal battle and the larger societal implications of their actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by establishing the conflict and setting up the legal battle that will unfold, advancing the narrative significantly.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and the uncertain outcome of the negotiation between the protagonist and Stahl.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident is between the protagonist's belief in the right to protest and the authority figure's concern for public safety and order. This challenges the protagonist's values of freedom of expression and highlights the clash between individual rights and societal control.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes tension and defiance, resonating emotionally with the audience as the characters stand their ground against authority.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is tense, confrontational, and impactful, effectively conveying the clash of ideologies and the power dynamics at play.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, conflicting goals, and intense dialogue exchanges that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and maintains a sense of urgency, driving the conflict forward and keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting aligns with industry standards for screenplay writing, with clear character cues and dialogue formatting. It effectively conveys the back-and-forth exchange between characters.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a standard format for a dialogue-driven confrontation, effectively building tension and conflict. It adheres to the expected structure for a scene of this nature.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes conflict between the activists and authority figures, mirroring the overarching themes of the script about resistance and governmental obstruction. Tom's dialogue clearly articulates the potential consequences of denying permits, which helps build tension and foreshadows the chaos of the protests, making it a strong narrative link to the trial's context. However, the scene feels somewhat one-sided, with Stahl's responses being repetitive and lacking depth, which could make the exchange feel static and less engaging for the audience. Additionally, Rennie's presence is underutilized; he is mentioned in the dialogue but has no lines or actions, which diminishes his role and makes the scene appear dominated by Tom, potentially reducing the dynamic interplay between characters. The transition back to the courtroom is abrupt and relies heavily on dialogue to convey exposition, which might not fully leverage cinematic techniques to maintain visual interest or emotional impact. Overall, while the scene succinctly advances the plot by reinforcing the permit denial motif, it could benefit from more nuanced character interactions and visual elements to avoid feeling like a mere info-dump within the flashback structure.
  • In terms of character development, Tom's assertive and pragmatic approach is well-portrayed, showing his evolution as a strategic thinker, which contrasts with Abbie's more provocative style seen in earlier scenes. This helps in understanding the ideological divides among the defendants, as referenced in the previous scene's summary. However, Stahl is portrayed as a one-dimensional authority figure, with his dialogue being overly formulaic ('There will be no demonstrations...'), which limits the audience's empathy or insight into his perspective. This could alienate viewers who might appreciate more balanced character portrayals, especially in a historical drama where exploring the motivations of all sides could add depth. The scene's brevity, while efficient, might not allow enough time for the audience to absorb the stakes, particularly since it's intercut with courtroom testimony, potentially confusing viewers if the flashback pacing isn't handled carefully in editing. Furthermore, the lack of descriptive action lines in the provided scene text suggests a missed opportunity to use visual storytelling, such as showing Tom's frustration through physical cues or the office environment to symbolize bureaucratic rigidity.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the script's exploration of free speech and protest rights, tying into the trial's accusations of conspiracy. It effectively uses dialogue to highlight the activists' foresight about potential violence, which aligns with the historical context and builds suspense for the events in Chicago. However, the critique extends to the dialogue's delivery; Tom's lines are somewhat didactic, spelling out the dangers in a way that feels expository rather than organic, which could disengage viewers by making the scene feel preachy. Compared to the previous scenes' more dynamic interactions (e.g., the heated debates in Scene 13 or the humorous flashbacks in Scene 14), this scene lacks emotional variety, relying on confrontation without much humor or subtlety, which might make it less memorable. Additionally, the cut back to the courtroom at the end disrupts the flow, emphasizing the intercut structure's potential weakness if not balanced, as it could fragment the narrative and dilute the impact of individual moments.
Suggestions
  • Add more action and visual elements to the scene to make it more cinematic; for example, show Tom gesturing emphatically or Rennie reacting non-verbally to Stahl's denials to convey tension without relying solely on dialogue.
  • Give Rennie active participation by assigning him lines that support or contrast with Tom's arguments, such as expressing concern about safety or referencing past experiences, to enhance character dynamics and make the scene feel more collaborative.
  • Refine the dialogue to include subtext and nuance; for instance, have Tom's warning about demonstrations happening 'anyway' include a personal anecdote or emotional appeal to heighten stakes, making it less expository and more engaging.
  • Ensure smoother transitions by adding a brief establishing shot or sound bridge when cutting back to the courtroom, to maintain narrative coherence and remind the audience of the flashback's context within the trial.
  • Expand the scene slightly to include Stahl's internal conflict or a reaction shot that humanizes him, such as showing hesitation or frustration, to add depth and balance the power dynamic, making the confrontation more compelling and less one-sided.



Scene 18 - Courtroom Confrontations
61 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 61
WEINGLASS
So five times you were asked for a
permit, five times you were advised
of the dangers of not providing a
location to demonstrate, not
providing--
STAHL
I don’t take my instructions from
the defendants, sir.
WEINGLASS
No you don’t.

STAHL
No I don’t.
WEINGLASS
You take them from Mayor Daley.
STAHL says nothing...
WEINGLASS (CONT'D)
You’re appointed by the mayor and
you serve at his pleasure?
STAHL
Yes.
WEINGLASS
And you’re subject to removal in
the same manner by the mayor?
STAHL
(beat)
Yes.
KUNSTLER
Thank you.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Further cross examination, Mr.
Kunstler?
KUNSTLER
Yes, sir. Mr. Stahl--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Excuse me, Mr. Seale, would you
identify the man sitting behind
you?
(beat)
Mr. Seale?
BOBBY
No sir.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
No?
BOBBY
That’s right.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Why not?
BOBBY
He’s not on trial here.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Seale, identify the man sitting
behind you.
FRED leans in and whispers something to BOBBY...
BOBBY
His name is Fred Hampton.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Let the record indicate that Mr.
Hampton is the head of the Chicago
chapter of the Black Panther Party.
KUNSTLER
Your Honor, Mr. Hampton isn’t at
the bar, why is the record
identifying him at all?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Hampton is clearly giving Mr.
Seale legal advice.
BOBBY
My lawyer is Charles Garry.
KUNSTLER
Excuse me, sir, but for all you
know Mr. Hampton is giving Mr.
Seale the score of the White Sox
game.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I will assume that he’s not.
KUNSTLER
Why?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Because that’s what happens when
you don’t have a lawyer. The Court
assumes that you’re being
represented by the Black Panther
sitting behind you. Continue.
KUNSTLER
Mr. Stahl, when Abbie offered to
call the whole thing off for a
hundred-thousand dollars, did you
think he was serious or did you
think he was making a joke?

STAHL
I had no reason not to think he was
serious.
KUNSTLER
Really?
STAHL
Yes.
KUNSTLER
Do you know what extortion is?
STAHL
Yes.
KUNSTLER
Do you know that it’s a felony?
STAHL
Yes.
KUNSTLER
Okay, so when you called the FBI
and told them about Mr. Hoffman’s
attempt to extort a government
employee, what’d they say?
STAHL
I didn’t call the FBI.
KUNSTLER
Sorry, when you called the U.S.
Attorney and reported the attempted
extortion, what’d their office say?
STAHL
I didn’t call the U.S.--
KUNSTLER
Cook County D.A. then, did you call
them?
STAHL
No sir.
KUNSTLER
How ‘bout the chief of police?
STAHL
Mr. Kunstler--

KUNSTLER
How ‘bout the police officer posted
outside the mayor’s office? How
‘bout the mayor? Mr. Stahl, I’m
going to ask you again. When Abbie
asked for a hundred-thousand
dollars to call the whole thing
off, did you think he was serious
or did you know it was a joke?
STAHL
I had no reason not to believe he
was serious.
KUNSTLER
Alright, and along with extortion,
you know that perjury’s a crime,
right?
SCHULTZ
Objection.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Sustained and strike it. In fact,
strike the entirety of Mr. Stahl’s
testimony under cross-examination
and the jury is instructed to
disregard it.
KUNSTLER
You’re striking the entire cross-
examination?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I gave you and co-counsel Feinglass
ample latitude to demonstrate
relevance and--
KUNSTLER
Co-counsel’s name is Weinglass and
Mr. Stahl’s testimony under cross-
examination was completely--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
You’ve interrupted the court again,
Mr. Kunstler.
KUNSTLER
(pause)
Move to reinstate testimony.
JERRY AND ABBIE
Overruled.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
Overruled.
KUNSTLER
Exception.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Noted. Are there any further
questions?
KUNSTLER
Yes sir. Mr. Stahl, in any of these
meetings, did any of the defendants
say that if you didn’t grant them
permits that they would do violent
acts to the city?
STAHL
Not precisely in that language.
KUNSTLER
Did they do it in any language?
STAHL
Yes, they said permits for the
parks should be issued in order to
minimize destruction.
KUNSTLER
Did they indicate from whom the
destruction would come?
STAHL
The destruction didn’t come from
the Chicago Police Department if
that’s what you’re suggesting.
KUNSTLER
I wasn’t suggesting that, you just
did. No more questions.
BOBBY
I’d like to cross-examine the
witness, Your Honor.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
You may not.
BOBBY
(to STAHL)
Have you ever met me?

JUDGE HOFFMAN
Sit, Mr. Seale.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Political Drama"]

Summary In a tense courtroom scene, defense attorneys Weinglass and Kunstler cross-examine witness Stahl about his claims regarding permits and alleged extortion by Abbie Hoffman. Judge Hoffman intervenes when Bobby Seale attempts to identify Fred Hampton and later tries to cross-examine Stahl, but is denied by the judge. The judge strikes Stahl's testimony for irrelevance, highlighting the ongoing conflicts between the defense and prosecution, as well as the authority struggles within the courtroom.
Strengths
  • Intense courtroom drama
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Powerful performances
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Complex legal jargon

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, intense, and pivotal in setting up the conflict for the trial. It effectively establishes the tone and introduces key characters and their motivations.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the legal battle and the clash of ideologies between the government and the defendants. It effectively sets up the central conflict of the trial.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is crucial in establishing the legal proceedings and the power dynamics at play. It moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts and motivations for the characters.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to courtroom drama by emphasizing the power dynamics between the legal figures and the defendants. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions in the courtroom setting reveal their beliefs and strategies, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions and conflicts hint at potential developments for the characters as the trial progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to challenge the authority and credibility of the witness, Stahl, in order to defend their position and undermine the prosecution's case. This reflects the protagonist's need for justice and truth in the face of a legal system that may be biased against them.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to discredit the witness's testimony and create doubt in the minds of the jury. This reflects the immediate challenge of proving their innocence and winning the case.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving legal, ideological, and personal clashes between the characters. The high stakes and confrontations drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges from the witness, the judge, and the legal system itself. The audience is unsure of how the confrontation will unfold.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters face legal prosecution, ideological battles, and personal challenges. The outcome of the trial will have far-reaching consequences for all involved.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by setting up the trial proceedings, introducing key conflicts, and establishing the central tensions that will drive the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics, unexpected revelations, and the characters' strategic moves to challenge each other. The audience is kept on edge about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the clash between the legal system's assumptions and the defendants' rights to a fair trial. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs in justice and fairness within the legal system.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of tension and anticipation, but the emotional impact is more intellectual than deeply emotional. The focus is on the legal and ideological conflicts rather than emotional depth.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, reflecting the tension and power struggle in the courtroom. It effectively conveys the conflicting viewpoints and strategies of the characters.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the intense verbal sparring, the high stakes of the legal proceedings, and the strategic maneuvers employed by the characters. The tension keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue exchanges and the strategic pauses enhance the dramatic impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the standard format for a courtroom scene, with clear character cues, dialogue attribution, and scene descriptions. It enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a courtroom drama, with clear dialogue exchanges, character interactions, and a focus on legal proceedings. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and adversarial nature of the trial, mirroring the historical tensions of the Chicago 7 case, with sharp dialogue and interruptions that build a sense of frustration and injustice. This helps the reader understand the defense's uphill battle against a biased judicial system, as seen in Judge Hoffman's arbitrary decisions, such as striking the entire cross-examination testimony, which underscores the theme of systemic oppression.
  • However, the scene suffers from repetition with earlier scenes (e.g., scenes 14-17) that also focus on permit denials and Stahl's testimony. This redundancy can dilute the dramatic impact and slow the pacing, making the narrative feel stagnant for viewers who have already seen similar confrontations, potentially reducing engagement and emphasizing the need for more varied content to maintain momentum in a 60-scene screenplay.
  • Character development is uneven; Stahl is portrayed as a one-dimensional authority figure who simply deflects and denies, lacking depth that could make his interactions more compelling. Meanwhile, Bobby Seale's interruptions add racial tension and highlight his marginalization, but they feel somewhat abrupt and disconnected from the main cross-examination, which might confuse readers or viewers about the scene's focus and could better serve to advance his arc if integrated more seamlessly.
  • The dialogue is witty and revealing, particularly in exchanges like Kunstler's probing on extortion and the humorous 'Overruled' chant, which adds levity and character insight. Yet, some lines, such as the repetitive questioning about Stahl's chain of command, could be more concise to avoid dragging, and the scene might benefit from clearer transitions between examiners (Weinglass to Kunstler) to improve flow and prevent the cross-examination from feeling disjointed.
  • Visually, the scene relies heavily on dialogue with few descriptive elements, which limits its cinematic potential. For instance, more attention to reactions from the jury, gallery, or other defendants could heighten the emotional stakes and provide a fuller picture of the courtroom dynamics, helping readers visualize the scene more vividly and emphasizing the broader implications of the testimony.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the conflict between authority and activism, but it misses an opportunity to deepen the audience's understanding of the defendants' motivations or the historical context. For example, while it touches on permit denials, it doesn't fully explore how these denials contributed to the larger chaos, which could make the critique more educational and tied to the screenplay's overarching narrative of protest and injustice.
Suggestions
  • Condense repetitive elements by referencing prior testimony more briefly or focusing on new angles, such as the personal impact on Stahl or the defendants, to keep the pacing brisk and avoid redundancy with earlier scenes.
  • Add more visual and non-verbal cues, like close-ups on facial reactions or body language during key moments (e.g., Stahl's hesitation or Bobby's defiance), to enhance the scene's cinematic quality and make it more engaging for viewers.
  • Strengthen character arcs by giving Stahl a moment of vulnerability or internal conflict, such as a subtle reaction to the accusations, to make him less of a stock figure and add depth to the confrontation.
  • Tighten the dialogue by cutting redundant lines and ensuring each exchange advances the plot or reveals character; for instance, streamline the back-and-forth on Stahl's reporting structure to make it punchier and more impactful.
  • Better integrate Bobby Seale's interruptions by foreshadowing his frustration earlier in the scene or linking it directly to the permit discussion, ensuring it feels organic and heightens the racial tensions without derailing the main focus.
  • Incorporate a small narrative progression or twist, such as a hint at upcoming evidence or a defendant's strategic whisper, to end the scene on a more climactic note and build anticipation for the next part of the trial.



Scene 19 - Pressing Matters and Conspiracy Conversations
A62 INT. MAKE-SHIFT PRESS ROOM - EARLY EVENING A62
ABBIE and JERRY are sitting at a table in front of a dozen
microphones. TV news cameras line the back of the room.
REPORTER #7
Why won’t Bobby Seale let anyone
represent him?
JERRY
You’ve posed that question in the
form of a lie.
The press conference continues in VO as we
CUT TO:
62 EXT./EST. STREET IN HYDE PARK - NIGHT 62
We’re outside a house where all the lights on the ground
floor are on. Several photographers are waiting out front.
A taxi pulls up and KUNSTLER gets out to a spray of
flashbulbs. He pays the driver and disappears into the house
as JERRY continues--
JERRY (VO)
Bobby Seale’s lawyer is Charles
Garry who’s in the hospital right
now. A motion was made for
postponement and it was denied by a
judge who just for the heck of it
is suspending due process for a
while.
63 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - SAME TIME 63
It’s a second-floor, three-bedroom apartment but the whole
place resembles a dorm that’s been taken over by a college
newspaper. Young women are everywhere working the phones or
opening bags of mail.
Court documents are in piles on tables and on the floor. A
big board shows the schedule of witnesses and the walls are
adorned with posters including ones that read “FREE THE
CHICAGO 7”.

BERNADINE
(into the phone)
Conspiracy office, can you hold on?
(another line)
Conspiracy office, can you hold on?
KUNSTLER
Maybe you don’t want to call it the
conspiracy office.
BERNADINE
They understand irony and
appreciate the humor.
KUNSTLER
I wouldn’t count on it.
BERNADINE
Most people are smart, Bill.
KUNSTLER
If you believe that, you’re gonna
get your heart broken every day of
your life.
BERNADINE
(to KUNSTLER)
Hang on.
(she goes back to the
first caller)
Hi, how can I help you?
KUNSTLER
(quietly)
Messages?
BERNADINE
(into the phone)
We sure do take contributions,
we’ve got high-priced lawyers.
KUNSTLER
The high-priced lawyers are working
for free, it’s the support staff
that needs--
BERNADINE
(into phone)
We can’t take grass.
ABBIE heard that and calls to Bernadine like she’s crazy--
ABBIE
Hey!

BERNADINE
(into the phone)
Yeah, Abbie says we’ll take the
weed.
KUNSTLER
(quietly)
Messages.
BERNADINE hands him a stack of messages--
BERNADINE
(into the phone)
Lemme give you our mailing address.
KUNSTLER heads into--
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Political"]

Summary In a makeshift press room, Abbie and Jerry address media scrutiny regarding Bobby Seale's legal representation, highlighting tensions over due process. The scene shifts to a bustling conspiracy office in Hyde Park, where Kunstler arrives and discusses the office's name with Bernadine, who humorously manages phone calls and contributions. Their interactions reflect a mix of urgency, humor, and differing views on public perception, culminating in Kunstler receiving messages and heading into another room.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Blend of defiance and humor
Weaknesses
  • Limited character changes
  • Moderate emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends defiance, skepticism, and humor to create a compelling narrative that captures the essence of the characters and the high-stakes legal battle they are facing.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of blending a press conference with chaotic office interactions adds depth to the scene, showcasing the characters' personalities and the complexities of the legal proceedings.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene is significant as it sheds light on the legal strategies, character dynamics, and the overarching conflict in the trial of the Chicago 7.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on legal defense, activism, and media portrayal, offering authentic character interactions and dialogue that feel genuine and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, each displaying unique traits such as defiance, humor, and skepticism. Their interactions add depth to the scene and drive the narrative forward.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions and dialogue hint at the evolving dynamics and personal growth of the characters as the trial progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

Abbie's internal goal is to defend the actions and decisions of the group amidst legal challenges and media scrutiny. This reflects his need for justice, freedom of expression, and solidarity with his peers.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to manage the legal defense and public perception of the group amidst a challenging legal case and media attention.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene contains a moderate level of conflict, primarily stemming from the legal tensions, character dynamics, and the high-stakes nature of the trial.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and uncertainty, adding depth to the characters' struggles and the overall narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The scene conveys the high stakes of the trial through the characters' defiance, legal confrontations, and political activism, highlighting the risks and consequences they face.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing key legal strategies, character dynamics, and thematic elements that contribute to the overarching narrative of the trial.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable in its character dynamics, humor, and unfolding events, keeping the audience intrigued about the outcomes and resolutions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the perception of activism, legal defense, and societal values. It challenges the characters' beliefs in justice, freedom of expression, and the role of humor in serious situations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a moderate emotional impact through its blend of defiance, humor, and skepticism, resonating with the audience on both intellectual and emotional levels.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, engaging, and reflective of the characters' personalities. It effectively conveys defiance, skepticism, and humor, enhancing the scene's impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of tension, humor, and social commentary, keeping the audience invested in the characters' struggles and interactions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension, transitions between locations smoothly, and maintains a rhythm that enhances the scene's impact and engagement.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the genre's standards, effectively conveying the setting, character interactions, and dialogue in a clear and engaging manner.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, transitioning smoothly between locations and characters while maintaining a coherent narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and humorous energy of the activists, with the press conference and the conspiracy office setting providing a contrast to the more serious courtroom scenes. However, the rapid cuts between locations—starting with the press conference in voice-over, moving to Kunstler's arrival outside, and then to the interior office—can feel disjointed and abrupt, potentially confusing the audience about the spatial and temporal relationships. This fragmentation might dilute the emotional impact and make it harder for viewers to connect with the characters' ongoing struggles, as the scene lacks a strong unifying thread beyond the general theme of activism.
  • Character interactions are lively and reveal personalities well—Abbie and Jerry's defiance in the press conference, Bernadine's witty banter, and Kunstler's pragmatic concern—but the scene doesn't advance character arcs significantly. For instance, Jerry's explanation of Bobby Seale's situation directly ties to the previous scene's conflict, which is a strength, but the humor in the office (e.g., the weed comment) feels somewhat superficial and disconnected from the trial's stakes, risking it coming across as comedic relief without deeper insight into the characters' motivations or growth.
  • The dialogue is sharp and humorous, fitting the film's tone, but it occasionally lacks subtlety. Lines like Bernadine's phone banter and Abbie's interjection about accepting weed are entertaining and showcase the group's irreverence, but they might overshadow more serious undertones, such as the reference to Bobby Seale's denied representation. This could make the scene feel more like a sketch than an integral part of the narrative, especially since the press conference's voice-over continues without visual grounding, which might reduce its immediacy and emotional weight for the audience.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the irony of the "conspiracy" label through the office's name and operations, which is a clever nod to the trial's charges. However, this element is underutilized; it could be explored more to highlight the absurdity of the government's accusations, but instead, it serves mainly as background, potentially missing an opportunity to deepen the film's commentary on civil liberties and media portrayal of activists. The visual description of the office as a busy, makeshift hub is vivid and immersive, but it doesn't fully integrate with the press conference segment, leading to a sense of disconnection.
  • Pacing is brisk, which suits the scene's comedic elements, but at approximately 45 seconds of screen time (based on typical screenplay pacing), it might feel too short to fully develop its ideas. The transition from the external street to the interior office is smooth in description, but the initial cut from the press conference could benefit from more contextual bridging to maintain narrative flow. Overall, while the scene provides a breather from the trial's intensity, it risks feeling like a filler moment rather than a pivotal one, especially in a 60-scene structure where every scene should contribute to building tension or character development.
  • The visual elements, such as the crowded press room and the chaotic office, effectively convey the grassroots nature of the movement, but the scene could use more specific actions or reactions to enhance engagement. For example, the photographers flashing bulbs outside add atmosphere, but they don't directly influence the story, making them somewhat extraneous. Additionally, the focus on Bernadine handling multiple calls shows the operation's busyness, but it doesn't evolve the plot, which might leave viewers wondering about the scene's purpose in the larger context of the Chicago 7 trial narrative.
Suggestions
  • To improve transitions, add a brief visual or auditory link between the press conference and Kunstler's arrival, such as a sound bridge or a cut that shows a newspaper headline or TV screen referencing the press event, to make the scene feel more cohesive and less fragmented.
  • Enhance character development by giving Bernadine or Kunstler a moment to reflect on the press conference's content, tying it directly to the office setting—for instance, have Kunstler comment on Jerry's response about Bobby Seale upon entering, creating a stronger narrative connection and deepening the characters' engagement with the trial's issues.
  • Refine the dialogue to balance humor with substance; for example, expand the exchange about the "conspiracy office" name to include a line where Bernadine or Abbie explicitly ties it to the trial's irony, making the humor serve a thematic purpose and reinforcing the film's critique of government overreach.
  • Strengthen the scene's pacing by either extending it slightly to allow for more interaction or condensing the voice-over section to focus on key lines, ensuring the scene advances the plot—perhaps by having Kunstler receive a message related to the press conference that foreshadows future conflicts.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling to emphasize themes; for instance, show posters in the office with slogans that echo the press conference questions, or have a character glance at a TV replaying trial footage, to better integrate the scene into the broader narrative and highlight the media's role in the activists' strategy.
  • To make the scene more impactful, add a small action or revelation, such as Kunstler discovering a urgent message about jury tampering or a new witness, which could build suspense and connect it more directly to the trial's progression, ensuring it feels essential rather than transitional.



Scene 20 - Trial Tensions: Humor and Commitment
64 INT. DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS 64
TOM and WEINGLASS are at the table with piles of documents.
KUNSTLER
I don’t want you guys holding press
conferences.
TOM
If you’re gonna get between Abbie
and a camera I’d wear pads and a
helmet.
KUNSTLER
We had a good day.
(to WEINGLASS)
Tell him we had a good day.
WEINGLASS
6 and 11?
KUNSTLER
Yeah.
TOM
What does that mean?
WEINGLASS
Jurors 6 and 11. They’re with us.
TOM
How do you know?

WEINGLASS
6 made sure I saw a copy of a James
Baldwin novel under her arm and
11’s been nodding during the Stahl
cross.
TOM
Falling asleep?
WEINGLASS
(demonstrating)
Nodding. Agreeing.
KUNSTLER walks out into--
65 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - CONTINUOUS 65
--where the press conference is now playing on the TV.
REPORTER #8 (O.S. FROM THE TV)
Would you have taken a hundred-
thousand dollars to call the whole
thing off?
ABBIE (FROM THE TV)
I’d have taken a hundred-thousand
dollars. As for calling it off...
REPORTER #9 (O.S. FROM THE TV)
How much is it worth to you? What’s
your price?
ABBIE (FROM THE TV)
To call off the revolution?
REPORTER #9 (O.S. FROM THE TV)
What’s your price?
ABBIE drops the comedy...
ABBIE (FROM THE TV)
My life.
KUNSTLER clocks that and we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In a dining room, Tom and Weinglass discuss trial strategies with Kunstler, who disapproves of press conferences. Tom jokes about the risks of Abbie and cameras, while Weinglass notes sympathetic jurors. Kunstler then observes a press conference where Abbie defiantly states that his life is the price for abandoning the cause, shifting the tone from light-hearted banter to serious reflection. The scene ends with Kunstler watching Abbie's earnest response on television.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character depth and development
  • Tension and defiance
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion due to intercutting with other scenes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, filled with tension, humor, and defiance, providing a significant character moment for Abbie Hoffman and advancing the plot.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around a pivotal press conference moment that reveals Abbie Hoffman's commitment to the revolution, adding depth to the character and story.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced through Abbie Hoffman's declaration at the press conference, setting the stage for further conflicts and developments.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on legal drama, with characters engaging in clever banter and moral debates. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to its originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Abbie Hoffman, are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their defiance, humor, and dedication to their cause.

Character Changes: 8

Abbie Hoffman's character undergoes a subtle change as he reveals the depth of his commitment to the revolution, showcasing a more serious and dedicated side.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate the legal complexities and ensure the success of their case. This reflects their need for justice, their fear of failure, and their desire to protect their clients.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to win the court case and sway the jurors in their favor. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in proving their clients' innocence.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the activists and the authorities is palpable in the scene, adding depth and tension to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, moral dilemmas, and uncertain outcomes that create suspense and challenge the characters.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are evident as Abbie Hoffman declares his willingness to sacrifice his life for the revolution, adding intensity and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key character motivations and setting the stage for further conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting dynamics between characters, unexpected revelations, and moral twists that challenge the audience's expectations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the value of justice and the lengths one is willing to go for a cause. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the legal system and the morality of their actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes emotions through Abbie Hoffman's passionate declaration, adding depth and resonance to the character and story.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, reflecting the tension and defiance of the characters, with memorable lines that reveal their motivations and beliefs.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its sharp dialogue, moral dilemmas, and high stakes that keep the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, with a balance of dialogue-driven moments and visual cues that maintain a sense of urgency and intrigue.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the conventions of screenplay writing, making it easy to follow and visualize the unfolding events.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a legal drama, with clear transitions between locations and engaging dialogue that drives the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the internal dynamics of the defense team, contrasting Kunstler's pragmatic approach with Tom's sarcasm and Abbie's distant but impactful presence through the TV. This highlights the thematic tension between strategic legal defense and the more theatrical activism, which is consistent with the overall script's exploration of how different personalities handle the trial. However, the dialogue feels somewhat expository, particularly in Weinglass's explanation of juror sympathies, which could alienate viewers by telling rather than showing; a more visual demonstration or subtle hint might engage the audience better.
  • The transition from the dining room discussion to the TV footage of Abbie's press conference is abrupt and could disrupt the flow. While the intercut adds visual interest and contrasts the settings, it might benefit from a smoother narrative link, such as a character referencing the press conference earlier or a reaction shot that builds anticipation. This scene is concise and advances character understanding, but it risks feeling like a filler moment if not tightly connected to the preceding and following scenes, especially given the context of permit denials and trial tensions.
  • Character development is strong here, with Tom's joke about Abbie revealing his frustration and Kunstler's observation of Abbie's serious response underscoring the gravity of their situation. However, the scene could delve deeper into emotional stakes; for instance, Kunstler's reaction to Abbie's 'My life' line is noted but not fully explored, missing an opportunity to show vulnerability or strategic concern. Additionally, the setting in a dining room with documents grounds the scene in realism, but it lacks vivid visual details that could enhance immersion, such as cluttered papers or tired expressions, making the environment feel more lived-in.
  • In terms of pacing, the scene is brief and serves as a breather after more intense courtroom sequences, which is appropriate for building character moments. Yet, it could heighten tension by incorporating more conflict, such as a debate about the risks of Abbie's media antics directly tying into the trial strategy, rather than just a warning. The tone shifts effectively from light-hearted banter to seriousness with Abbie's TV moment, mirroring the script's blend of humor and gravity, but this shift might be more impactful with better foreshadowing or a callback to earlier events like the permit denials.
  • Overall, the scene contributes to the audience's understanding of the group's internal divisions and the high personal stakes, but it could be more cohesive by strengthening ties to the broader narrative. For example, referencing the systematic permit denials from previous scenes would reinforce continuity and remind viewers of the mounting frustrations leading to the trial. While the dialogue is functional, it occasionally lacks the wit and rhythm seen in other parts of the script, potentially underutilizing the charismatic nature of characters like Abbie and Tom.
Suggestions
  • Enhance visual storytelling by adding subtle actions or reactions, such as Weinglass mimicking the juror's nodding more naturally or Kunstler pausing to reflect on Abbie's words, to reduce exposition and make the scene more cinematic.
  • Smooth the transition to the TV footage by having a character mention Abbie's press conference earlier in the conversation or use a sound bridge from the dining room to the TV audio, ensuring a seamless flow and maintaining audience engagement.
  • Refine dialogue to sound more conversational and less scripted; for instance, shorten Weinglass's explanation of juror sympathies and show it through a quick flashback or gesture, making it feel organic and true to character voices.
  • Incorporate elements from the previous scene's context, like the permit denials, by having a line of dialogue that references Stahl's refusals, to better connect this moment to the trial's buildup and reinforce thematic consistency.
  • Amplify emotional depth by extending Kunstler's reaction to Abbie's serious statement, perhaps with a close-up shot or a brief internal monologue, to heighten the scene's impact and emphasize the personal risks involved in their activism.



Scene 21 - Threats and Tensions in the Courtroom
66 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 66
Everyone’s in their places but the BAILIFF and a MARSHALL are
at the bench. They’ve given a note to JUDGE HOFFMAN and he’s
looking it over.

No one knows what’s going on and everyone’s waiting to find
out.
TITLE:
Trial Day 23
FROINES leans into WEINER--
FROINES
(quietly)
Any idea what’s going on?
WEINER
(quietly)
It’s been years since I’ve had any
idea what was going on.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I’m going to adjourn the court for
the day and see counsel in my
chambers in 15 minutes.
He raps his gavel. Everyone stands as he exits but no one
knows what’s going on.
CUT TO:
67 INT. JUDGE HOFFMAN’S CHAMBERS - DAY 67
As the lawyers walk in and a MARSHAL closes the door.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
It’s been brought to my attention
that two of the jurors have
received threatening notes from a
member or members of the Black
Panther Party.
KUNSTLER
Which two jurors?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Juror number 6 and Juror number 11.
It was slipped into the mail at the
homes of their parents.
KUNSTLER
6 and 11.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
(to the MARSHAL)
Bring in Juror 6.

The MARSHAL opens a side door and brings in JUROR #6. She’s
23-years old and nervous to be brought into chambers.
KUNSTLER
Judge, I wonder if we could--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Juror Number 6, how are you?
JUROR #6
I’m fine.
KUNSTLER
Judge, before we speak to--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
(stopping him)
Please.
(to JUROR #6)
Your parents received this note in
their mail this morning. They
called the police as they should
have done. I’d like you to take the
note and read it out loud.
JUROR #6
My parents?
KUNSTLER
Your Honor--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Please read the note out loud.
JUROR #6 takes the note from the MARSHAL...
JUROR #6
(reading)
“We’re watching you.”
JUDGE HOFFMAN
And you see who’s signed it.
JUROR #6
“The Panthers”.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
And you understand that to mean the
Black Panthers, don’t you?
Very shaken, she nods yes.

JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
And you understand that defendant
Bobby Seale is the head of the
Black Panthers.
KUNSTLER
Judge--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
He’s the Chairman of the Black
Panther Party.
She nods yes.
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
Do you still feel you can render a
fair and impartial verdict?
She says nothing...
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
Juror Number 6, your family has
been threatened and so have you by
members of an organization led by
one of the defendants.
KUNSTLER
Judge, for the love of Christ--
JUDGE HOFFMAN stops him with one look...
KUNSTLER (CONT'D)
I apologize, Your Honor.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I would think so.
(beat)
Do you still feel you can render a
fair and impartial verdict?
JUROR #6
(barely a whisper)
No sir.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
You’re dismissed from this jury.
Thank you for your service. Please
bring in Juror Number 11.
JUROR #6
(quietly to WEINGLASS)
I’m sorry.

WEINGLASS
(quietly)
Keep reading James Baldwin.
CUT TO:
68 INT. JUDGE HOFFMAN’S OUTER-OFFICE - DAY 68
The doors open and the lawyers empty out.
FORAN
(to KUNSTLER)
I thought the Panthers were smarter
than that.
KUNSTLER
They are.
FORAN
Well--
KUNSTLER
The Panthers don’t write letters
any more than the mob does, and the
moment I find out it was your
office that did, you’re gonna see
the criminal justice system up
closer than you ever wanted to.
KUNSTLER exits with WEINGLASS.
SCHULTZ looks at FORAN...”Did we do this?”...FORAN says
nothing and we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Courtroom Drama"]

Summary In a tense courtroom scene on Trial Day 23, Judge Hoffman adjourns court after receiving a note about threats made to jurors by the Black Panther Party. Juror 6, visibly nervous, is brought in to read a threatening note aloud, leading to her dismissal as she admits she can no longer be impartial. Defense attorney Kunstler confronts prosecutor Foran, accusing his office of fabricating the threats, escalating the conflict between the defense and prosecution. The scene ends with heightened tension as Schultz looks questioningly at Foran.
Strengths
  • Building tension
  • Dramatic revelations
  • Character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of subtlety in addressing the threats

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene effectively builds tension and drama through the revelation of threats to jurors, creating a serious and impactful moment in the courtroom setting.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of threats to jurors and the subsequent dismissal due to potential bias is compelling and adds depth to the legal drama unfolding in the courtroom.

Plot: 8.7

The plot progression in this scene is crucial as it introduces a significant conflict that directly impacts the trial proceedings, adding layers of complexity and raising the stakes.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on legal drama by focusing on the ethical challenges faced by the characters. The authenticity of the dialogue and character reactions adds originality to the familiar courtroom setting.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' reactions and interactions in response to the threatening notes and the subsequent dismissal of a juror are well-portrayed, showcasing their individual perspectives and adding depth to their roles.

Character Changes: 8

The dismissal of Juror #6 leads to a significant change in the dynamics of the trial, impacting the characters' strategies and perspectives moving forward.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain a sense of justice and fairness in the face of external threats and pressure. This reflects their deeper need for integrity and moral conviction.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to address the issue of threatening notes received by jurors and ensure a fair trial process. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining the integrity of the legal proceedings.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.8

The conflict in the scene is high, with the revelation of threats to jurors creating a sense of urgency and raising the stakes for the characters involved.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing difficult moral choices and external pressures that challenge their beliefs and decisions.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident in the scene as the integrity of the trial and the fairness of the proceedings are called into question due to external threats to jurors, adding a sense of urgency and tension.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major development that directly affects the trial proceedings, setting the stage for further conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected threats faced by the jurors, the moral ambiguity of the situation, and the uncertain outcomes for the characters involved.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the tension between upholding justice and facing external influences that threaten the fairness of the legal process. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the impartiality of the legal system.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.7

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, particularly through the tense interactions and the dismissal of a juror due to external threats.

Dialogue: 8.6

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and seriousness of the situation, with impactful exchanges between the characters heightening the emotional impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its suspenseful atmosphere, moral dilemmas, and the high stakes involved in maintaining justice. The dialogue and character interactions keep the audience invested in the unfolding events.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, creating a sense of urgency as the characters navigate the ethical dilemmas and external threats.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the genre conventions of a courtroom setting, with clear scene transitions and character interactions that enhance the narrative flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a courtroom drama, effectively building tension and revealing character dynamics through dialogue and actions.


Critique
  • This scene effectively heightens the tension in the trial by introducing a threat to the jurors, which underscores the broader theme of corruption and manipulation within the legal system. It builds suspense through the initial confusion in the courtroom and the dramatic reveal of the threatening note, making the audience question the integrity of the proceedings and reinforcing the narrative's exploration of how authorities might fabricate evidence to sway outcomes. However, the scene could benefit from more nuanced character development; for instance, Kunstler's immediate suspicion and accusation feel somewhat rushed, potentially undermining the emotional weight by not allowing enough buildup or internal conflict to make his outburst more believable and impactful. Additionally, while the interaction with Juror #6 adds a human element and highlights the personal toll of the trial, her character comes across as somewhat one-dimensional, serving primarily as a plot device rather than a fully realized individual, which might reduce the scene's emotional resonance for readers who expect deeper empathy in such high-stakes moments.
  • The dialogue in this scene is functional for advancing the plot and revealing character motivations, particularly in how it showcases Kunstler's defiance and the judge's authoritative control, but it occasionally veers into expository territory that feels unnatural. For example, the judge's repetitive questioning of Juror #6 about the note and its implications could be more subtle, allowing the audience to infer the threat's severity through her reactions rather than direct statements, which might make the scene less tell-heavy and more show-oriented. Furthermore, the transition to the outer office and Kunstler's accusation against Foran adds a confrontational climax, but it lacks sufficient foreshadowing from earlier scenes, making it harder for viewers to connect this moment to the ongoing narrative threads, such as the permit denials or previous courtroom conflicts, thus potentially weakening the scene's cohesion within the larger script.
  • Pacing is generally strong, with the scene starting with uncertainty and escalating to dismissal and accusation, maintaining a sense of urgency that mirrors the chaos of the trial. However, the cut between the chambers and the outer office feels abrupt, disrupting the flow and missing an opportunity to visually or emotionally link the two spaces, which could leave readers disoriented. Thematically, this scene excellently illustrates the erosion of due process and the vulnerability of the justice system to external pressures, but it could delve deeper into the racial undertones, especially with the Black Panther reference, to tie it more explicitly to Bobby Seale's character arc and the script's overarching commentary on civil rights and activism. Overall, while the scene succeeds in ratcheting up drama, it might rely too heavily on dialogue to convey tension, underutilizing visual elements that could enhance immersion and make the critique more accessible to a general audience.
  • Character consistency is mostly maintained, with Kunstler portrayed as the passionate, combative defender, and Judge Hoffman as the stern, controlling figure, but Weinglass's role feels underdeveloped here; his quiet response to Juror #6 is a nice touch, but he could have more agency to balance the scene and provide contrast to Kunstler's aggression. The scene's end, with Kunstler's threat, effectively plants seeds of doubt about the prosecution's ethics, helping readers understand the mounting paranoia and injustice faced by the defendants, but it could be strengthened by showing subtle reactions from other characters, like Schultz's questioning glance at Foran, to add layers of ambiguity and realism. In summary, this scene is a pivotal moment that advances the plot by removing sympathetic jurors and escalating conflicts, but it could improve by focusing on subtler storytelling techniques to avoid melodrama and better integrate with the script's historical and thematic depth.
Suggestions
  • Enhance visual descriptions to build tension; for example, add details like close-ups on Juror #6's trembling hands or sweat on her brow to convey her nervousness more vividly, making the scene more cinematic and emotionally engaging without relying solely on dialogue.
  • Build up Kunstler's suspicion earlier in the scene or through subtle hints in previous scenes to make his accusation less abrupt; this could involve adding a line where he exchanges a knowing glance with Weinglass or references past irregularities, creating a more credible and impactful reveal.
  • Expand Juror #6's character moment by giving her a brief, personal reaction or backstory element, such as a quick thought about her family's safety, to humanize her and increase the stakes, helping readers connect emotionally and understand the personal cost of the trial's manipulations.
  • Improve transitions between locations by using overlapping action or sound bridges, like the sound of the door closing in chambers carrying over to the outer office, to maintain pacing and make the shift from the juror dismissal to the confrontation feel more fluid and less disjointed.
  • Incorporate more reactions from secondary characters, such as showing the defendants' responses in the courtroom or having Weinglass actively object during the juror's interrogation, to add depth and balance the scene, ensuring it ties stronger into the group's collective struggle and the script's themes of solidarity and injustice.



Scene 22 - Jury Tensions and Silent Reflections
69 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 69
A large folder gets dropped on the table and opened. It
contains pictures of all the jurors and alternates. The two
who were just dismissed get ripped out.
KUNSTLER, WEINGLASS and the DEFENDANTS are standing or
sitting around.
TOM
Who are the alternates?
JERRY
We’re gonna make this public.

KUNSTLER
Help yourself.
TOM
Who are they?
JERRY
Somebody other than the FBI has to
investigate that letter.
KUNSTLER
Who’d you have in mind, Jefferson
Airplane? The FBI investigates--
JERRY
This is bullshit!
TOM
Who are the alternates?
JERRY
Fuckin’ bullshit.
DAVE
Can we clean up our language?
WEINGLASS
Kay Richards. She’s a 27-year old
dental hygienist.
TOM
That doesn’t sound too bad.
KUNSTLER
We think she’s dating a guy named
Tom Bannercheck who works for
Daley.
And all the defendants starts chiming in--
ALL
What?!, etc./ You let her be an
alternate?!, etc./ Why would she
be anywhere near that jury
box?!/etc.
They keep shouting as the lawyers simultaneously defend
themselves.
KUNSTLER
(simultaneously)
We were out of preemptory
challenges.

WEINGLASS
(simultaneously)
She was an alternate and we were
out of preemptory challenges.
TOM
How did that happen?
KUNSTLER
It was her or the Korean War vet
who kicked his son out of the house
for protesting the Vietnam-- you
don’t have to be Clarence Darrow to-
-
JERRY
Did they manipulate the jury pool?
How come there’s nobody who looks
like me?
KUNSTLER
Raise your hand if you’ve ever
shown up for jury duty.
Nobody raises their hand...
KUNSTLER (CONT'D)
Then shut the fuck up.
During this, an ASSISTANT has come in and handed a note to
WEINGLASS. WEINGLASS has read it now--
WEINGLASS
Bill.
KUNSTLER
Yeah.
WEINGLASS hands the note to KUNSTLER, who reads it...
TOM
What?
WEINGLASS
He’s sequestering the jury.
There’s silence in the room...
JERRY
‘Course he is.
JERRY exits.

ABBIE
No such thing as a political trial.
Good to know.
ABBIE exits.
KUNSTLER
(to WEINGLASS)
I want an expert in geriatric
psychiatry sitting in the gallery
for a few days. I want a medical
evaluation of this judge.
KUNSTLER heads out and WEINGLASS goes into the living room,
where the end of the nightly news is playing on the TV.
WEINGLASS
The sequester’s probably a reaction
to Abbie doing stand-up on the
weekends.
ABBIE
It’s not stand-up.
WEINGLASS
It’s you in a college auditorium in
a spotlight telling jokes, right?
ABBIE
Little reductive.
JERRY
Hey.
JERRY’s pointing out something on the TV. Everyone starts to
stand in silence, facing the TV.
BACK IN THE KITCHEN--
RENNIE’s writing in his notebook...
FROINES
Names?
RENNIE
Yeah. From yesterday.
TOM
Is anyone hungry?
RENNIE
If I hadn’t asked you to help me
with Sara Beth, none of this--

TOM
No.
RENNIE
I asked you to help with Sara Beth
and that’s what got us the first
riot. The first riot got us the
real riot.
TOM
Rennie, that’s not what--
RENNIE
Hang on.
RENNIE sees the backs of the people standing in the living
room. He walks to the living room and FROINES and WEINER
follow. Then TOM.
We see over their backs that the news is scrolling the names
of that day’s fallen soldiers.
Then everyone sits.
BERNADINE
(to RENNIE)
I’ll add the names.
RENNIE
Thank you.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Political"]

Summary In the conspiracy office at night, tensions rise as defendants and lawyers clash over jury selection and potential tampering, with Kunstler defending their strategies against accusations of incompetence. The announcement of jury sequestration leads to sarcastic remarks and frustration among the group. The scene shifts to a somber moment as they watch the names of fallen soldiers on TV, prompting a collective reflection and unity before ending with Bernadine offering to add names to a list.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Revealing crucial information
  • Building tension and conflict
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Lack of significant character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, intense, and pivotal in revealing crucial information about the jury selection process and the impact of external influences on the trial.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the challenges and controversies surrounding jury selection and external influences on the legal process is compelling and adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly with the dismissal of jurors, the revelation of threats, and the heated discussions about jury selection, adding layers of complexity to the legal proceedings.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on legal drama by focusing on the jury selection process and the characters' reactions to potential manipulation. The authenticity of the characters' dialogue adds originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions, conflicts, and motivations are well-portrayed, showcasing their individual perspectives and roles in the unfolding events.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions and revelations contribute to shaping the characters' perspectives and decisions moving forward.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover the truth behind the jury selection process and ensure a fair trial. This reflects their desire for justice and integrity in the legal system.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to challenge the jury selection and prevent any potential manipulation. This reflects their immediate challenge of dealing with a biased system and seeking transparency.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with high levels of conflict, both internal and external, as characters grapple with the implications of jury tampering and the challenges of legal proceedings.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing challenges in the legal system, conflicts of interest, and internal disagreements. The audience is left uncertain about the characters' fates and the outcome of the trial.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high with the revelation of threatening notes, the dismissal of jurors, and the implications for the trial's outcome, intensifying the drama and tension.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information, escalating conflicts, and setting the stage for further developments in the legal proceedings.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the jury selection process, the characters' reactions, and the sudden turn of events. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the clash between the characters' belief in justice and fairness versus the reality of a flawed legal system. This challenges the protagonist's values and forces them to confront the limitations of the system.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions of frustration, anger, and tension, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles and the high-stakes situation.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and reflective of the characters' emotions and stakes involved in the scene, driving the tension and conflict forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its rapid dialogue exchanges, escalating conflict, and intriguing revelations. The characters' reactions and the unfolding mystery keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a sense of urgency and tension. The rapid exchanges and escalating conflict keep the audience engaged and eager to see the resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character names, and dialogue formatting. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a tense legal drama, with clear character interactions, escalating tension, and a cliffhanger ending. The pacing and dialogue contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • This scene effectively captures the group's collective frustration and disillusionment following the jury tampering incident, serving as a pivotal moment that escalates the stakes and deepens character dynamics. It transitions from chaotic arguments about the jury and legal strategies to a poignant moment of silence for fallen soldiers, reinforcing the anti-war theme and providing emotional resonance. However, the rapid-fire dialogue and overlapping speeches can feel overwhelming, potentially confusing viewers by not clearly distinguishing who is speaking when, which might dilute the impact of individual character voices and make it harder for the audience to follow the emotional beats.
  • The character interactions reveal personal tensions and backstories, such as Rennie's self-reflection on his role in the events, which adds depth to his character and ties into the larger narrative of regret and consequence. Yet, some dialogue feels expository or overly on-the-nose, like Dave's request to 'clean up our language,' which comes across as didactic rather than organic, potentially breaking immersion. This could be an opportunity to show character traits more subtly through actions or subtext rather than direct statements.
  • The scene's structure, with its shift from confrontation to quiet reflection, mirrors the unpredictability of the trial, but the transitions between locations and topics are abrupt. For instance, the move from the jury discussion to the revelation of jury sequestration and then to the TV moment feels disjointed, which might disrupt the flow and make it challenging to maintain audience engagement. Additionally, the visual element of ripping out juror photos is a strong cinematic device that symbolizes loss of control, but it's underutilized and could be expanded to heighten tension.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the conflict between idealism and pragmatism, as seen in the debates over publicizing the tampering versus legal strategy, which aligns well with the screenplay's exploration of activism versus institutional power. However, the humor and sarcasm, particularly in Kunstler's and Abbie's lines, sometimes overshadow the gravity of the situation, risking the scene feeling uneven in tone. This could alienate viewers who are deeply invested in the emotional stakes, especially given the immediate context from previous scenes involving jury threats and courtroom tensions.
  • In terms of character development, the scene highlights divisions among the defendants—Jerry's impulsiveness, Tom's persistence, and Abbie's cynicism—but some moments, like the group standing in silence, feel somewhat contrived or sentimental. Drawing from the preceding scenes, such as the jury tampering accusation, this scene builds on the paranoia and distrust, but it doesn't fully capitalize on the emotional fallout, such as exploring how these events affect interpersonal relationships more deeply. Overall, while the scene advances the plot by introducing jury sequestration and setting up future conflicts, it could benefit from tighter focus to avoid feeling like a collection of disconnected vignettes.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to include more clear attributions or stage directions that indicate who is speaking during overlapping exchanges, such as using intercuts or pauses to make the conversation easier to follow without losing the chaotic energy.
  • Incorporate more subtext and nonverbal cues to make character revelations, like Rennie's self-blame, feel more natural and less expository; for example, show his internal conflict through actions or facial expressions rather than direct dialogue.
  • Improve pacing by grouping related discussions together and smoothing transitions between topics, perhaps by adding a brief beat or visual cue to signal shifts, ensuring the scene builds to the reflective moment more cohesively.
  • Enhance visual elements by expanding on symbolic actions, such as the ripping of juror photos, to include more descriptive details that emphasize the characters' emotions, like close-ups on faces or hands to convey frustration and helplessness.
  • Balance the tone by integrating humor with the scene's serious undertones more carefully, such as reducing sarcastic one-liners and focusing on authentic emotional responses to deepen the impact of the silence for fallen soldiers and tie it more explicitly to the characters' motivations.



Scene 23 - Courtroom Antics and Tensions
70 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 70
The jury box is empty but everyone else is there. KUNSTLER is
addressing the judge.
KUNSTLER
We move to strike the order of
sequestration of the jury which was
made by Your Honor’s sua sponte
motion.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Hold on. Mr. Rubin, Mr. Hoffman,
what are you wearing?
ABBIE and JERRY are wearing judge’s robes.
ABBIE
It’s an homage to you, sir.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
Do you have clothes underneath
there?
ABBIE
Yes sir. Hang on.
(to JERRY)
Do you?
JERRY
Yeah.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Take off the robes.
ABBIE and JERRY take off the robes and have police uniforms
underneath.
A big LAUGH from the GALLERY.
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
(TO KUNSTLER)
Continue.
KUNSTLER
We feel that sequestration for what
appears will be a considerable
period of time can only serve--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
It would be a considerably shorter
period of time if the defense made
fewer objections.
KUNSTLER decides to finish despite being interrupted...
KUNSTLER
--can only serve to the defendants
disadvantage. And Your Honor, the
defense will make not one fewer
objection than the prosecution or
this Court gives us reason to.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Bailiff, charge Mr. Kunstler with
one count of Contempt.
ABBIE
Welcome to our world, Bill.
KUNSTLER
May I continue my argument so it
appears in the record?

JUDGE HOFFMAN
Continue.
KUNSTLER
The jury will be in the custody of
deputy marshals. The marshals will
take care of all the wants and
needs of the jurors and we feel
that tends to make the jurors more
sympathetic toward--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I understand.
KUNSTLER
The jurors are going to be taken
care of by law enforcement
officers. They won’t be allowed to
go home, they’ll have minimal
communication with--
As KUNSTLER’s been talking, TOM’s been looking across the
room at one of the MARSHALS. The MARSHAL is adjusting the
name tag on his uniform and as we push in a little on TOM, we
CUT TO:
71 EXT. HILTON HOTEL - NIGHT (TOM’S MEMORY) 71
A line of about fifty DEMONSTRATORS, including TOM and ABBIE
have their backs up against the dark-tinted picture window of
the Haymarket Tavern that’s part of the hotel and convention
center. Facing them down are a line of RIOT POLICE with their
clubs drawn. TOM sees something that immediately gets his
heart racing even faster--
--a RIOT POLICEMAN takes off his name tag and then his badge
and puts them in a pocket. Then another does the same and
then another and we
CUT BACK TO:
72 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 72
DELUCA’s on the stand.
DELUCA
Frank DeLuca.
SCHULTZ
And what is your occupation?

DELUCA
I’m a detective with the Police
Department, City of Chicago.
SCHULTZ
Calling your attention to August of
1968 during the convention, were
you given any specific assignment?
DELUCA
I was to keep Rennie Davis under
surveillance with my partner,
Detective Bell.
SCHULTZ
And while surveilling Rennie Davis
on Sunday evening, August 25th, the
night before the convention began,
did you observe Tom Hayden
committing a crime?
DELUCA
Yes. Mr. Hayden was letting the air
out of the tire of a police
vehicle.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Comedy"]

Summary In a lively courtroom scene, William Kunstler argues against a jury sequestration order while Judge Hoffman interrupts to address defendants Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin, who humorously reveal police uniforms beneath their judge's robes. Kunstler is charged with contempt but is allowed to continue, arguing that sequestration could bias jurors in favor of law enforcement. Meanwhile, Tom Hayden experiences a flashback to a protest where police removed their name tags, connecting to the ongoing testimony of witness Frank DeLuca, who claims to have seen Hayden deflating a police vehicle tire. The scene blends humor with tension, highlighting the conflicts between the defense and the court.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of tension and humor
  • Dynamic character interactions
  • Unexpected plot twist
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Moderate emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends tension and humor, creating an engaging and memorable moment. The unexpected reveal of police uniforms under the judge's robes adds a unique twist to the courtroom setting, enhancing the overall impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using attire to subvert expectations in a courtroom setting adds depth and intrigue to the scene. The juxtaposition of formal legal proceedings with unexpected humor enhances the overall concept.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene is driven by the characters' actions and interactions, particularly the reveal of the police uniforms under the judge's robes. This plot twist adds a layer of complexity and humor to the courtroom setting.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to courtroom drama by incorporating humor and unexpected character actions. The authenticity of the characters' dialogue adds originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' personalities shine through in their dialogue and actions, showcasing a mix of defiance, humor, and tension. Abbie and Jerry's playful defiance adds depth to their characters and enhances the scene's dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the characters' personalities and dynamics are further established through their actions and dialogue. The scene contributes to a deeper understanding of the characters' traits and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to defend the defendants and ensure a fair trial despite facing challenges and interruptions. This reflects Kunstler's deeper desire for justice and fairness in the legal system.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to argue against the sequestration of the jury, aiming to influence the trial's outcome in favor of the defendants. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of ensuring a fair trial for the defendants.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The scene features a moderate level of conflict, primarily driven by the characters' defiance and the tension between the legal proceedings and the unexpected reveal of the police uniforms. This conflict adds depth and engagement to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene, represented by the judge's authority and interruptions, adds complexity and uncertainty to the protagonist's goals, creating a compelling conflict for the audience.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are moderate, primarily revolving around the legal proceedings and the characters' interactions with the judge. While the scene is engaging, the stakes do not reach a critical level of intensity.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a plot twist and showcasing the characters' defiance and humor. The unexpected reveal of the police uniforms adds a new layer to the narrative and progresses the overall storyline.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected character actions, such as the reveal of police uniforms under the judge's robes, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict lies in the clash between the defense's belief in a fair trial and the judge's authority to control the proceedings. This challenges Kunstler's values of justice and fairness against the court's power dynamics.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a moderate emotional impact through its blend of tension and humor. The unexpected nature of the character actions and the confrontational tone contribute to the emotional engagement of the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' personalities and drives the scene forward. The witty exchanges and confrontational tone enhance the overall impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of tension, humor, and character dynamics. The unexpected actions and dialogue keep the audience intrigued.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and maintains audience interest through well-timed character interactions and dialogue exchanges. The rhythm enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a courtroom scene, with proper scene transitions and character actions described effectively.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a courtroom setting, with clear character interactions and progression of the legal argument. The formatting aligns with the genre's conventions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and humorous essence of the Chicago 7 trial by incorporating the defendants' disruptive antics, such as Abbie and Jerry's costume change, which serves as a clever visual metaphor for their mockery of authority and adds levity to the otherwise tense courtroom drama. This aligns with the script's overarching theme of blending comedy and seriousness to reflect the absurdity of political trials, making it engaging for the audience. However, the humor risks overshadowing the legal stakes, potentially diluting the emotional weight of Kunstler's argument against jury sequestration, which is a critical moment for establishing the defense's strategy. In the context of the previous scenes, where jury tampering and sequestration are already building tension, this scene could better connect to that continuity by showing more direct consequences or character reactions to the sequestration order, helping viewers understand the escalating frustration without relying solely on visual gags.
  • The use of the flashback triggered by Tom's gaze at the marshal is a strong narrative technique that links the trial's present to the historical events of the protests, reinforcing themes of police misconduct and the defendants' victimization. It provides a visceral reminder of the stakes involved, but the transition feels somewhat abrupt and could confuse audiences if not handled with clearer visual or auditory cues, such as a subtle sound bridge or a more pronounced reaction shot from Tom. Additionally, while the flashback succinctly illustrates the removal of name tags, it might benefit from more context or emotional depth to emphasize why this detail is significant, especially since it's tied to testimony about police anonymity during violent confrontations. This could strengthen the scene's role in the larger script by making the connection between past and present more explicit and emotionally resonant.
  • Kunstler's dialogue during his argument is articulate and true to his character's passionate defense style, but it borders on being overly expository, with phrases like 'the defense will make not one fewer objection' feeling a bit stilted and less natural in conversation. This could make the scene drag slightly, reducing its pacing in a script that thrives on quick-witted exchanges. In contrast, the witness testimony at the end provides a solid setup for future revelations about Tom's actions, but it comes across as tacked on, lacking a smooth narrative bridge from the earlier courtroom banter. This might stem from the scene's attempt to juggle multiple elements—humor, legal argument, and flashback—within a short span, which, while ambitious, could overwhelm the audience if not balanced better with quieter moments to allow emotional beats to land.
  • The scene's structure, with its interruptions and shifts in focus, mirrors the disorganized nature of the trial, which is thematically appropriate and keeps the audience engaged. However, this chaos might make it harder for less familiar viewers to follow the plot threads, especially since the contempt charge against Kunstler is introduced and resolved quickly without much fallout shown. Drawing from the immediate previous scene (scene 22), where jury sequestration is announced and causes frustration, this scene could deepen character development by showing how the defendants' reactions evolve, such as Tom's internal conflict becoming more apparent, to create a stronger through-line and help readers or viewers connect the dots between scenes.
Suggestions
  • Tighten Kunstler's dialogue to make it more concise and conversational, focusing on key phrases that advance the argument without repetition, to improve pacing and maintain audience engagement.
  • Add transitional elements, such as a sound effect or a close-up on Tom's face during the flashback trigger, to make the shift between present and past smoother and less jarring.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by including subtle reaction shots or internal monologues for characters like Tom, showing how the marshal's action evokes personal memories, to deepen audience empathy and clarify motivations.
  • Balance the humor from the costume gag with more serious undertones by extending the moment after the laugh to show the judge's irritation or the defendants' strategic intent, ensuring it doesn't overshadow the legal drama.
  • Integrate the witness testimony more organically by foreshadowing it earlier in the scene, perhaps through a glance or comment from Schultz, to create a better flow and build anticipation for the accusation against Tom.



Scene 24 - Chaos and Confrontation in Grant Park
73 INT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 73
It’s a sweltering hot night as we get introduced to the park
and its occupants for the first time. Thousands of people
that can only be made out in silhouette with flickers of
lanterns, flashlights and fires. We can HEAR a pick-up band
singing Simon and Garfunkel’s “America” and the song will
continue throughout this whole sequence.
ANGLE--We see the pick-up band sitting around the stage
singing.
ANGLE--Tents being erected in a sea of tents that are already
erected.
ANGLE--A group making protest signs.
ANGLE--A fire burning in a garbage can. A sign reads “Burn
Your Draft Cards” as young men come up, rip up their draft
cards and throw them in the fire.
ANGLE--Another fire burning in another garbage can. A sign
reads, “Free Yourself from Patriarchy--Burn Your Bras”, with
women walking by and dropping their bars in the fire.

ANGLE--A police vehicle is driving slowly and repeating on a
loudspeaker--
POLICE OFFICER (V.O.)
The park closes at 11pm by order of
the Chicago P.D. You must be out of
the park by 11pm. Violators will be
prosecuted for trespassing. The
park closes at--
ANGLE--ABBIE’s talking to a large group of protestors.
ABBIE
It’s a strategy of throwin’ banana
peels all over Chicago and then let
the machine stumble. And when it
stumbles, it gets into a policy of
overkill and starts to devour
itself. We’ll convince ‘em. They’ll
be convinced. Of what? That we’re
crazy enough to do anything.
ANGLE--JERRY’s talking to a group of protestors.
JERRY
We think it’s important for
confrontational tactical knowledge
to be understood. Confrontational
tactics make us safer. Why? Because
the police become afraid. And
that’s fighting fire with--
PROTESTORS
(shouting back)
FIRE!
JERRY begins his Molotov cocktail demonstration as we PULL
BACK to find TOM and RENNIE who are walking past Jerry’s TED
Talk.
TOM
(to no one)
You don’t fight fire with fire, you
fight it with water, ya jackass.
RENNIE
It’s a metaphor.
TOM
Abbie and his fuckin’ banana peels.
RENNIE
Also a metaphor.

TOM
Between the cops, the state police
and the Guard, Daley’s got 15,000
soldiers on the street whose guns
are loaded with bullets that are
literal.
RENNIE
I could make the argument that the
bullets were also--
TOM
Yeah, so could I, but don’t. The
atmosphere’s starting to get
dangerous and someone’s gonna throw
a rock. I want to get the word out
that we’re protesting the war and
not the cops.
RENNIE sees something up ahead--
RENNIE
Dammit.
TOM
What?
RENNIE
I think those are my guys, I think
that’s their car.
ANGLE--A few unmarked sedans are parked alongside some police
and park vehicles in an otherwise dark and deserted area.
TOM and RENNIE walk toward a particular sedan.
RENNIE (CONT'D)
Yeah, that’s them. They’re back.
They were following me all day.
Listen, here’s the thing I haven’t
told you about Sara Beth. She isn’t
into this at all.
TOM
Isn’t into what?
RENNIE
When I’m with her and her family, I
try to...de-emphasize the...radical
revolutionary part of my--
TOM
Got it.

RENNIE
She and her parents are letting me
stay with them and if I show up
tailed by two undercover police
officers--
TOM
That’d be hard to explain.
RENNIE
This isn’t her world. And it’s
definitely not her parents’ world.
If I bring my world into their
driveway--
TOM
Yeah.
RENNIE
She’ll break up with me.
TOM
You could be in a healthier
relationship.
RENNIE
I know, but until then, this is the
one I’ve got.
TOM
(pause)
That’s their car?
RENNIE
Yeah.
TOM
Where are they?
RENNIE
Looking for me.
TOM thinks a minute...
TOM
Alright. Go back into the crowd and
let ‘em find you. Then leave the
park by the east exit. They’ll need
their car to follow you.
RENNIE
What are you gonna do?

TOM
It’s not gonna remind anyone of
Ghandi but a little civil
disobedience. Go.
RENNIE
You’re not gonna cut their breaks
or anything, right?
TOM
What? No, I’m gonna let the air out
of one of the tires. Now go.
RENNIE
I really appreciate it. I don’t
want to be a phony with SaraBeth
but sometimes it takes a little--
TOM
You should really go now.
RENNIE
Yeah.
RENNIE heads off and TOM takes out his keys as we
CUT BACK TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Protest"]

Summary During a vibrant anti-war protest in Grant Park at night, thousands gather amidst music and fiery displays of dissent. Abbie and Jerry lead discussions on chaotic and confrontational tactics, while Tom and Rennie navigate the dangers of police surveillance. As tensions rise, Tom devises a plan to help Rennie evade undercover officers, culminating in a tense moment as Rennie re-enters the crowd and Tom prepares to sabotage a police vehicle.
Strengths
  • Effective tension-building
  • Rich character interactions
  • Balanced tone and themes
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may require clarification for audience understanding

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene effectively captures the atmosphere of a protest setting, balances tension with personal moments, and advances character dynamics while introducing high stakes.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of showcasing a pivotal night in Grant Park during a protest effectively conveys themes of activism, personal dilemmas, and political tensions.

Plot: 8.7

The plot is well-developed, introducing conflicts, character dilemmas, and setting the stage for future developments while maintaining a cohesive narrative flow.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on activism, personal relationships, and the complexities of balancing ideals with reality. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and original.


Character Development

Characters: 8.8

Character interactions are rich, showcasing personal struggles, ideological differences, and evolving relationships, adding depth to the overall narrative.

Character Changes: 9

Character growth and revelations are subtly hinted at, setting the stage for future developments and highlighting the evolving dynamics within the group.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate his personal relationships and maintain his activism without jeopardizing his romantic relationship with Sara Beth. This reflects his need for balance between his ideals and personal life.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to help his friend evade undercover police surveillance without causing a rift in his relationship with Sara Beth. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of balancing his activism with personal obligations.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.9

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, adding layers of tension and drama that drive the narrative forward and engage the audience.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges from both external surveillance and internal conflicts, creating uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident through the characters' personal dilemmas, the looming threat of police surveillance, and the potential consequences of their actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new conflicts, deepening character relationships, and setting the stage for pivotal events to come.

Unpredictability: 8.5

The scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and outcomes, adding suspense and intrigue to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's commitment to activism and the potential consequences on his personal life. It challenges his beliefs in revolution and the sacrifices it demands.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.7

The scene evokes a range of emotions from tension to reflection, drawing the audience into the characters' dilemmas and the high-stakes situation.

Dialogue: 8.6

The dialogue effectively conveys tension, humor, and character dynamics, enhancing the scene's emotional impact and thematic depth.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of tension, humor, and personal stakes, keeping the audience invested in the characters' dilemmas.

Pacing: 8.5

The scene's pacing effectively builds tension and suspense, maintaining a rhythm that enhances the emotional impact of the characters' decisions and dilemmas.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting adheres to the expected standards for its genre, enhancing readability and visual clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a dynamic structure that balances action, dialogue, and character development effectively, fitting the genre's expectations.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic energy of a large-scale protest through a montage of establishing shots, which immerses the audience in the atmosphere of Grant Park at night. The use of silhouettes, flickering lights, and the continuous soundtrack of 'America' by Simon and Garfunkel creates a vivid, sensory experience that evokes the sweltering heat and tension of the event, helping to convey the broader themes of societal unrest and activism present in the script. However, the rapid cutting between multiple angles and activities can feel overwhelming and disjointed, potentially diluting the emotional impact by not allowing any single moment to breathe or build sufficient tension before moving on. This montage style is common in protest scenes to show scale, but it risks becoming repetitive or superficial if not anchored by a stronger narrative thread.
  • Character interactions, particularly between Tom and Rennie, add depth by revealing personal stakes and ideological conflicts, such as Rennie's relationship struggles and Tom's frustration with metaphorical tactics versus literal dangers. This humanizes the characters and ties into the overarching trial narrative, where these events are referenced, but the dialogue occasionally veers into expository territory, like Rennie's explanation of his personal life, which feels a bit on-the-nose and could be shown more subtly through action or subtext. Additionally, Abbie and Jerry's speeches, while characteristic, might echo earlier scenes (e.g., their strategies in prior protests), risking redundancy and making the scene feel like a retread rather than a progression, which could weaken the script's pacing in a 60-scene structure.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the central conflict between non-violent protest and confrontational tactics, with Tom's sarcasm toward Abbie and Jerry highlighting divisions within the movement. This is a strength, as it foreshadows the trial's interpersonal tensions and the consequences of their actions, such as the tire-deflating incident that directly connects to witness testimony in later scenes. However, the humor and banter, while fitting for the characters, sometimes undercuts the gravity of the situation— for instance, Tom's quip about Gandhi feels flippant in a context of rising danger, which might alienate viewers who are invested in the seriousness of the historical events. Balancing levity with stakes is crucial to maintain audience engagement without trivializing the subject matter.
  • Visually and aurally, the scene is rich with details like the burning draft cards and bras, which symbolize the era's social movements, and the police loudspeaker adds a layer of ominous foreshadowing. Yet, the execution could be tighter; for example, the Molotov cocktail demonstration by Jerry might be too explicit or gratuitous, potentially glorifying violence in a way that contradicts the script's exploration of non-violence, especially given Dave Dellinger's character arc. Furthermore, the transition to Tom and Rennie's personal conversation feels abrupt, lacking smooth segues that could better integrate the montage with the character-driven dialogue, making the scene as a whole feel segmented rather than cohesive.
  • In terms of screenwriting technique, the scene adheres to standard formatting with clear slug lines and action descriptions, but it could benefit from more varied shot descriptions to guide the director and cinematographer. For instance, specifying camera movements or focusing on close-ups during key emotional beats (like Rennie's admission about his girlfriend) would heighten intimacy and draw viewers into the characters' internal conflicts. Overall, while the scene serves as a strong set piece for world-building and character exposition, it doesn't fully capitalize on its potential to advance the plot or deepen emotional connections, particularly in light of the trial context provided in previous scenes, where jury tampering and juror sympathies are fresh in the audience's mind—this disconnect might make the flashback feel less immediate or relevant.
  • Finally, the scene's length and density could be an issue; with multiple elements packed in, it might run longer than intended in editing, diluting focus. The ending, where Tom prepares to let the air out of the tire, ties back to the trial but feels somewhat anticlimactic, as it's a minor act that doesn't fully resolve the tension built earlier. This could be an opportunity to escalate stakes or introduce a twist, but as written, it serves more as setup than payoff, which is fine for a middle scene but should ensure it propels the narrative forward effectively within the 60-scene arc.
Suggestions
  • Refine the montage structure by grouping similar shots (e.g., all fire-related activities together) and using transitional devices like overlapping dialogue or sound bridges to create a smoother flow, reducing the sense of fragmentation and allowing the audience to absorb the atmosphere without disorientation.
  • Enhance dialogue subtlety by showing Rennie's personal conflict through visual cues or indirect conversation, such as him glancing nervously at the police cars or hesitating in his speech, rather than explicit explanations, to make interactions feel more natural and cinematic.
  • Strengthen thematic links to the trial by incorporating subtle references or visual callbacks, like a quick cut to a courtroom image or a voiceover from a witness, to remind viewers of the present-day consequences and make the flashback more integral to the story.
  • Balance humor and seriousness by reserving comedic elements for character-defining moments and emphasizing the peril in scenes of potential violence, such as Jerry's Molotov demonstration, to avoid undermining the scene's tension—consider cutting or toning down elements that might glorify aggression.
  • Add sensory details and varied shot types to immerse the audience, such as close-ups on sweat beads, the sound of crackling fires, or shaky cam during Tom's plan, to heighten emotional stakes and make the protest feel more visceral and immediate.
  • Consider condensing or focusing the scene on fewer key interactions (e.g., prioritize Tom and Rennie's conversation) to improve pacing, ensuring each element advances character development or plot, and end with a stronger hook, like a hint of impending arrest, to build suspense toward the trial sequences.



Scene 25 - Confrontation in Grant Park
74 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 74
The pick-up band singing “America” continues over--
DELUCA
Detective Bell and I spotted Rennie
Davis walking in the crowd and
observed him on foot for a few
minutes. Then we returned to the
unit.
SCHULTZ
Your car.
DELUCA
Yes.
SCHULTZ
And what did you find?
CUT TO:

75 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 75
The singing continues over--
TOM is on his knees letting the air out of a tire of the
unmarked car with his key when the shadow of a man envelopes
him and he stops.
DELUCA (O.S.)
So you think we’re idiots.
DELUCA is standing behind him with his partner, BELL.
DELUCA (CONT'D)
Don’t fuckin’ move.
BELL
On your feet.
TOM
Those are two contradictory
instructions.
DELUCA grabs TOM by the collar, puts him on his feet and
slams him down on the hood of the car.
DELUCA
Hands behind your head, spread your
legs. Was that a contradictory
instruction?
TOM
Nope.
CUT BACK TO:
76 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 76
SCHULTZ
What happened then?
DELUCA
Someone from the crowd shouted--
77 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 77
One of the silhouettes from the crowd shouts--
DEMONSTRATOR
Hey, they’re hassling Tom Hayden!

BELL
Paulie, you need to see what I’m
seeing.
DELUCA turns around and sees two-dozen silhouettes begin
moving toward the car--
DELUCA
Hey, stay back there! All a you!
BELL
(showing his badge)
Police! Stay back!
TOM
(calling to the
silhouettes)
Listen, everybody stay cool!
DELUCA
(to TOM)
Shut up! Tell ‘em to get back.
TOM
Again--
DELUCA
Tell ‘em to get back.
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Political Drama"]

Summary In a tense courtroom scene, Detective DeLuca testifies about an incident involving activist Tom Hayden, intercut with a flashback to Grant Park where DeLuca and Detective Bell confront Hayden for vandalizing a police car. As DeLuca aggressively orders Hayden to comply, the situation escalates with a crowd gathering, leading to a standoff filled with tension and hostility. The scene highlights the clash between law enforcement and activists, culminating in DeLuca's command for Hayden to control the crowd as tensions rise.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Sharp dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Potential for cliched confrontation dynamics

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and conflict through the interaction between Tom and the detectives, maintaining a sense of urgency and danger. The dialogue and actions heighten the stakes and set the stage for potential consequences.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a confrontation between protesters and law enforcement in a charged environment is compelling and well-executed. The scene effectively explores themes of resistance, authority, and the risks involved in activism.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly as the confrontation escalates, introducing new challenges and raising the stakes for the characters. The scene propels the narrative forward and sets up potential consequences for future events.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on a confrontational encounter between law enforcement and civilians during a protest. The dialogue feels authentic and the actions are portrayed realistically.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, particularly Tom and the detectives, are well-defined in their roles and motivations during the confrontation. Their actions and dialogue reveal their conflicting perspectives and add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the confrontation between Tom and the detectives reveals more about their personalities and motivations, setting the stage for potential development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain composure and assert control in a challenging situation. This reflects his need for authority and his fear of losing control.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to handle a potentially volatile crowd situation and maintain order. This reflects the immediate challenge of diffusing tension and preventing escalation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving physical confrontation, verbal sparring, and the clash of ideologies. The high stakes and opposing goals create a volatile situation with potential repercussions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, creating a sense of conflict and uncertainty that drives the narrative forward. The audience is kept on edge by the challenging situation.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the potential for physical confrontation, legal repercussions, and personal risks for the characters involved. The outcome of the confrontation could have far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a critical conflict and raising the stakes for the characters. The events in Grant Park have implications for the ongoing narrative and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the escalating tension and uncertain outcome of the confrontation. The shifting dynamics between characters add to the unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between maintaining law and order while respecting civil liberties and handling protests peacefully. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about justice and authority.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, including tension, defiance, and apprehension. The high-stakes nature of the confrontation adds emotional weight to the characters' actions and decisions.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, conveying the tension and defiance between the characters. The exchanges are crucial in building the conflict and highlighting the stakes of the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, intense conflict, and dynamic interactions between characters. The suspense keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and maintains a sense of urgency, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, making it easy to follow and visualize the action.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and progresses the narrative. It transitions smoothly between locations and characters.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the courtroom and the flashback is a strong narrative device that effectively juxtaposes the sterile, formal environment of the trial with the raw, chaotic energy of the protest, helping to build tension and provide contextual depth. This technique allows the audience to see how testimony directly relates to past events, making the story more engaging and immersive, but it can sometimes feel abrupt, potentially confusing viewers if the transitions aren't smoothed out, as the shift from dialogue in the courtroom to action in the flashback might disrupt the flow without clear visual or auditory cues.
  • The dialogue in this scene is functional for advancing the plot and revealing character traits, such as Tom's sarcasm and defiance, which align with his established personality as a principled activist. However, some lines, like Tom's 'Those are two contradictory instructions,' come across as overly witty and contrived, risking a loss of authenticity; in real high-stakes confrontations, people might react with more fear or urgency rather than clever retorts, which could make the scene feel less grounded and more theatrical, potentially alienating audiences who expect a balance between drama and realism.
  • Tension is well-maintained through the escalation from DeLuca's accusation to the crowd's involvement, creating a sense of impending conflict that mirrors the themes of the larger script about authority versus resistance. Yet, the scene could benefit from more emotional layering; for instance, Tom's internal conflict or fear isn't deeply explored, making his character appear one-dimensional in this moment, whereas showing a flicker of vulnerability could heighten the stakes and make his defiance more impactful for both the character arc and the audience's emotional investment.
  • Visually, the use of shadows and silhouettes in the flashback effectively evokes the disorienting atmosphere of a nighttime protest, enhancing the thematic elements of hidden dangers and surveillance present throughout the screenplay. However, the courtroom scenes lack visual variety, with the focus primarily on talking heads, which might make this part feel static compared to the dynamic flashback; incorporating more subtle visual details, like the reactions of other courtroom participants or the judge's body language, could enrich the scene and prevent it from feeling overly dialogue-heavy.
  • In terms of integration with the broader narrative, this scene successfully ties back to the immediate previous scene (Scene 24) where Tom devises the plan to let air out of the tire, creating a seamless cause-and-effect relationship that strengthens continuity. That said, it risks repetition if similar confrontations are frequent in the script, as the pattern of activists being caught and police overreacting might desensitize the audience; ensuring each instance adds unique insight or escalation would maintain freshness and prevent the scene from feeling formulaic.
  • Overall, the scene effectively conveys the conflict between individual actions and systemic oppression, aiding in the reader's understanding of the Chicago 7 trial's injustices. However, the pacing is brisk, which suits the trial's momentum, but it might sacrifice depth in character development or thematic exploration, as the quick cuts and short exchanges don't allow much room for subtext or reflection, potentially leaving viewers with a surface-level grasp of the events rather than a profound emotional connection.
Suggestions
  • Smooth the intercutting transitions by adding transitional elements, such as a sound bridge (e.g., the continuing 'America' song) or a visual motif like fading between settings, to make the shifts less jarring and more fluid, enhancing the audience's ability to follow the parallel narratives.
  • Refine the dialogue to add more authenticity and emotional depth; for example, have Tom's response to the police orders show a mix of sarcasm and genuine fear, perhaps by stuttering or hesitating, to make his character more relatable and human, avoiding the pitfall of overly scripted wit.
  • Incorporate additional sensory details in the flashback to heighten immersion and tension, such as the sound of rustling leaves, the feel of the cold car hood, or the smell of the night air, to draw the audience deeper into the moment and make the confrontation more vivid and impactful.
  • Expand the courtroom sequences with more visual and character-driven elements, like close-ups of the jury's reactions or subtle interactions between defendants, to balance the dialogue-heavy testimony and prevent the scene from feeling monotonous, thereby increasing engagement.
  • To avoid repetition with similar conflict scenes, differentiate this one by focusing on a specific character insight, such as Tom's internal moral dilemma, and ensure it advances the plot uniquely, perhaps by foreshadowing future events in the trial or deepening the theme of police escalation.



Scene 26 - Calm Amidst Chaos
78 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 78
SCHULTZ
And did he tell the crowd to get
back?
79 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 79
TOM
Everybody get back! I’m alright,
stay cool!
80 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 80
DELUCA
He was egging them on.
SCHULTZ
Did you take Hayden under arrest at
that moment?

DELUCA
No sir.
SCHULTZ
Why not?
81 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 81
Suddenly a white light is shining in DELUCA’s face and he
snaps to it--
DELUCA
What the hell is--who’s shining
that?
BELL
(quietly)
It’s a camera. It’s a TV camera.
82 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 82
DELUCA
We wanted to diffuse the situation
so we arranged to take Mr. Hayden
in the next morning.
83 EXT. GRANT STATUE - DAY 83
TOM’s sitting on the steps with RENNIE and a couple of
friends as two POLICE CARS come rolling up--flashing lights
but no sirens.
TOM
This is gonna be for me.
RENNIE
Let me try to explain to them.
TOM
We should tell ‘em about SaraBeth’s
parents.
RENNIE
Yeah.
TOM
I was kidding. Just bail me out and
keep to the schedule, it’s fine
A few OFFICERS, including OFFICER QUINN, step out of their
cars.

OFFICER QUINN
Tom Hayden?
TOM
Yeah.
(to RENNIE)
See you in a bit.
OFFICER QUINN
You’re under arrest.
TOM
Got it.
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Political Drama"]

Summary In scene 26, defense attorney Schultz cross-examines police witness Deluca in a courtroom about Tom Hayden's actions during a chaotic protest. Flashbacks reveal Hayden calmly instructing the crowd to stay back, contrasting with Deluca's accusation that Hayden incited the crowd. Deluca explains the police's decision to delay Hayden's arrest to de-escalate the situation. The scene shifts to Hayden's peaceful arrest at the Grant Statue, where he remains composed and instructs his friend Rennie to bail him out. The intercutting between the tense courtroom and the flashbacks highlights the defense's portrayal of Hayden as responsible and cooperative.
Strengths
  • Effective tension building
  • Compelling conflict escalation
  • Emotional depth in character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Some abrupt transitions between settings
  • Limited exploration of certain character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines elements of tension, humor, and defiance to create a compelling narrative. It moves the story forward significantly while showcasing high stakes and emotional impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the clash between authorities and activists, highlighting the consequences of civil disobedience and the power dynamics at play. It effectively conveys the themes of resistance and defiance.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial, as it involves the arrest of a key character and the escalation of conflict between the protesters and law enforcement. It significantly advances the narrative and sets the stage for further developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on a familiar situation of arrest, adding layers of complexity through character interactions and the use of technology like TV cameras. The dialogue feels authentic and enhances the scene's authenticity.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene display a range of emotions and motivations, with clear distinctions between the activists and the authorities. Their interactions drive the conflict and contribute to the scene's intensity.

Character Changes: 8

The scene showcases character growth and challenges, particularly as key characters face arrest and make decisions that impact their futures. The events lead to shifts in relationships and perspectives.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain composure and control in a potentially volatile situation. This reflects his need to stay calm under pressure and protect his reputation or image.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to handle the arrest situation smoothly and avoid escalating tensions. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with law enforcement and potential legal consequences.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both verbal and physical, as characters confront each other in the courtroom and during the protest. Tensions escalate, leading to arrests and heightened stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing unexpected challenges and conflicting priorities, creating uncertainty and suspense for the audience.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with characters facing arrest, legal consequences, and the threat of violence during the protest. The outcomes have significant implications for the characters and the overall narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, escalating tensions, and setting the stage for further developments. It propels the narrative towards a critical turning point.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden introduction of a TV camera, the unexpected arrest, and the characters' shifting reactions, creating a sense of suspense and intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between maintaining personal integrity and navigating legal consequences. The protagonist's actions and decisions challenge his beliefs about justice and authority.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, with moments of tension, defiance, and vulnerability. The characters' reactions and the high stakes contribute to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, reflecting the tension and defiance present in the interactions between characters. It effectively conveys the conflicting perspectives and motivations of the activists and the law enforcement.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced dialogue, escalating tension, and the uncertainty surrounding the protagonist's arrest, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and maintains a sense of urgency, enhancing the impact of key moments and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for the genre, clearly distinguishing between different locations and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively transitions between the courtroom and park settings, maintaining a coherent narrative flow.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the courtroom and flashbacks is a strong narrative device that effectively contrasts the formal, controlled environment of the trial with the chaotic, high-stakes events of the protest, helping to build tension and provide context for the testimony. However, this technique risks feeling disjointed if the transitions aren't smooth, potentially confusing the audience about the timeline or emotional flow, especially since the flashbacks jump between night and day settings without clear visual or auditory cues to anchor the shifts.
  • The dialogue in the courtroom scenes, particularly DeLuca's testimony, feels somewhat expository and on-the-nose, with lines like 'We wanted to diffuse the situation so we arranged to take Mr. Hayden in the next morning' serving more to inform the audience than to reveal character depth or advance conflict naturally. This can make the scene less engaging, as it prioritizes plot exposition over dynamic interaction, which might alienate viewers who prefer subtler storytelling.
  • Tom Hayden's character is portrayed with a mix of defiance and sarcasm, which is consistent with his established arc, but the scene misses an opportunity to delve deeper into his internal conflict or emotional state during the arrest. For instance, his calm response to being arrested ('Got it.') could be expanded to show more vulnerability or reflection, making him more relatable and allowing the audience to connect with the personal toll of his activism.
  • The visual elements, such as the sudden white light from the TV camera and the peaceful daytime arrest, are effective in highlighting themes of media influence and police strategy, but they could be better integrated to emphasize the irony or hypocrisy in the events. The lack of reaction shots or close-ups on key characters during these moments might reduce the emotional impact, making the scene feel more descriptive than immersive.
  • Overall, the scene advances the plot by connecting the protest actions to the trial testimony, reinforcing the screenplay's themes of injustice and resistance. However, it could benefit from tighter pacing to avoid redundancy with previous scenes (e.g., the tire-deflating incident was referenced earlier), ensuring that each beat feels fresh and contributes uniquely to the escalating drama without repeating information.
Suggestions
  • Refine the intercutting by adding transitional elements, such as fade-ins or specific sound cues (e.g., the ongoing 'America' song from previous scenes), to make timeline shifts clearer and more fluid, enhancing audience engagement without disrupting the flow.
  • Make dialogue more nuanced by incorporating subtext or interruptions; for example, have DeLuca hesitate or show discomfort when explaining the arrest delay, revealing underlying tensions or biases, which would make the testimony feel more authentic and less like straightforward narration.
  • Deepen character moments by adding internal monologue or subtle physical actions for Tom during the flashback, such as a brief close-up of his face showing fear or resolve when confronted, to heighten emotional stakes and make his journey more compelling within the scene.
  • Enhance visual storytelling by including more sensory details, like the crowd's murmurs or the glare of police lights, and use reaction shots to capture characters' responses (e.g., Rennie's concern during Tom's arrest), which would immerse the audience further and underscore thematic elements like media scrutiny.
  • Tighten pacing by consolidating redundant elements with prior scenes; for instance, if the tire-deflating action was detailed earlier, focus here on its consequences in the trial, and consider shortening the courtroom exchanges to maintain momentum, ensuring the scene propels the story forward efficiently.



Scene 27 - Defiance in the Courtroom
84 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 84
JUDGE HOFFMAN
We’ll stand in recess for one hour
and court will resume at--
BOBBY
Your Honor--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
You wish to address the court, Mr.
Seale?
BOBBY
I--yes. I have a motion--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I will hear you Mr. Seale.
BOBBY
Just a moment.
We see a YOUNG BLACK woman hand a legal pad to a BLACK MAN
who walks the pad down to FRED HAMPTON who hands it to BOBBY.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Seale, do you have a motion?
BOBBY
I have a motion pro se to defend
myself. I’d like to invoke the
precedent of Adams vs. U.S. ex rel.
McCann, where the Supreme Court--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Alright, that’s enough. Where are
you learning these things. Does
your young friend, Mr. Hampton,
have a background in--

KUNSTLER
(standing)
Your Honor, the other defendants
would like to join in Mr. Seale’s
motion.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Are you now speaking on behalf of
Mr. Seale?
KUNSTLER
No sir, I’m speaking on behalf of
the other defendants.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
You’re standing right next to him,
why don’t you represent him?
KUNSTLER
Because I’m not his lawyer, sir,
and if I understand Mr. Seale
correctly this last month and a
half, and I believe I have, he is
not represented by counsel.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Overruled.
BOBBY
I am being denied right now--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Seale--
BOBBY
--my Constitutional right to--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Will you be quiet? Will you? Will
you be quiet? That’s all. You have
lawyers to speak for you.
KUNSTLER
No he doesn’t!
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Cite Mr. Kunstler with his second
count of Contempt.
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Political Drama"]

Summary In a tense courtroom scene, Bobby Seale attempts to assert his right to self-representation, citing a Supreme Court precedent. Despite his efforts, Judge Hoffman dismissively interrupts him, questioning his legal knowledge and silencing him. William Kunstler supports Bobby's motion, clarifying that Bobby is unrepresented, but the judge maintains control, ultimately citing Kunstler for contempt. The scene highlights the conflict between judicial authority and the defendants' rights, underscored by a symbolic moment of solidarity as a legal pad is passed among supporters.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Strong character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with intense conflict, strong character dynamics, and a pivotal moment in the trial. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, driving the narrative forward.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of defendants representing themselves and facing off against the judge adds layers of complexity and drama to the scene.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly with the introduction of the defendants' motion to defend themselves, leading to a crucial turning point in the trial.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on legal proceedings, emphasizing the protagonist's struggle for autonomy and justice. The dialogue feels authentic and dynamic, adding depth to the characters' actions and motivations.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined, with each displaying unique traits and motivations that drive the conflict forward.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their dynamics and roles, setting the stage for further development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to defend himself pro se, invoking legal precedent to assert his rights and autonomy. This reflects his desire for agency and control over his own defense, as well as his fear of being denied his constitutional rights.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to be allowed to defend himself in court, challenging the authority of the judge and asserting his legal rights. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the legal system and maintaining autonomy in the face of opposition.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high, with tensions escalating between the characters and the stakes becoming more significant.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing resistance from the judge and the legal system. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face legal challenges and personal confrontations that could impact the outcome of the trial.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a critical development in the trial and deepening the conflict between the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and the protagonist's unexpected actions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in the scene is between the protagonist's belief in his right to defend himself and the judge's authority to control the proceedings. This challenges the protagonist's values of autonomy and justice against the established legal system.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to defiance, keeping the audience engaged in the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and impactful, revealing the characters' personalities and driving the scene's intensity.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, intense dialogue exchanges, and the protagonist's struggle for autonomy. The conflict and power dynamics hold the audience's attention.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and highlighting key moments of conflict. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the scene's intensity and emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the conventions of a courtroom setting, with clear delineation of characters' dialogue and actions. The scene is easy to follow and enhances the dramatic impact.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a courtroom drama, with clear character interactions and a progression of conflict. The dialogue drives the scene forward, maintaining tension and focus.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the escalating tension in the courtroom, mirroring the historical context of the Chicago 7 trial where Bobby Seale's denial of counsel was a key point of conflict. It highlights themes of systemic injustice and the abuse of judicial power, which are central to the screenplay's narrative, helping readers understand the frustration and power imbalance between the defendants and the judge. However, the dialogue feels somewhat expository, with Bobby directly citing a specific Supreme Court case (Adams vs. U.S. ex rel. McCann), which may come across as overly didactic and less natural for a dramatic scene, potentially alienating viewers who aren't familiar with legal precedents and making the moment feel more like a history lesson than organic conflict.
  • Pacing is brisk and interruptive, which suits the chaotic nature of the trial but can make the scene hard to follow in rapid succession. The constant back-and-forth interruptions between characters create a sense of realism and urgency, but without sufficient visual or action beats to ground the audience, it risks feeling repetitive or confusing. For instance, the handoff of the legal pad from the young black woman to Fred Hampton and then to Bobby is a good visual element that adds depth, but it could be expanded to show more of the support network around Bobby, enhancing emotional resonance and helping viewers connect with the characters' struggles on a personal level.
  • Character development is strong in portraying Judge Hoffman's authoritarian bias and Bobby Seale's defiant resilience, which aligns with the screenplay's exploration of racial and political tensions. Kunstler's intervention adds layers to the defense's strategy, showing his commitment to the group, but the scene could delve deeper into Bobby's internal state—perhaps through subtle physical cues or a brief flashback to his isolation— to make his outburst more poignant and relatable, rather than relying solely on dialogue. This would better illustrate the emotional toll of being denied basic rights, making the critique more impactful for both the writer and the audience.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the motif of denied agency, as seen in previous scenes like the protest flashbacks, but it could strengthen its connection to those elements by referencing or echoing earlier events, such as the police misconduct in scene 26. This would create a more cohesive narrative flow, but as it stands, the scene feels somewhat isolated, with the contempt charge serving as a plot device rather than a climactic moment, potentially underutilizing the opportunity to build on the buildup from prior scenes where tensions with authority were already high.
  • Overall, the scene is functional in advancing the plot and escalating conflict, but it lacks cinematic flair that could elevate it from a dialogue-heavy exchange to a visually engaging sequence. The humor and sarcasm from characters like Abbie in earlier scenes are absent here, making this moment feel more somber but less dynamic; incorporating subtle humor or irony could balance the tone, as seen in the defendants' strategies in scene 23, to maintain the screenplay's blend of satire and drama while helping readers grasp the characters' coping mechanisms under pressure.
Suggestions
  • Add more descriptive action lines to depict non-verbal reactions, such as Bobby's facial expressions or the gallery's subtle responses, to enhance visual storytelling and make the scene more engaging on screen, drawing from the cinematic elements in scene 24's protest montage.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it less expository; for example, have Bobby reference the Supreme Court precedent more conversationally or through a prop like a crumpled note, reducing the 'on-the-nose' feel and allowing for more natural character interactions, similar to how sarcasm is used effectively in scene 26.
  • Incorporate a brief cutaway or flashback to a related event from earlier scenes, like the police confrontation in scene 25, to provide context and deepen emotional stakes, ensuring the scene doesn't feel disconnected and reinforces the thematic threads of injustice.
  • Slow down the pacing in key moments, such as Bobby's motion or the judge's interruptions, with pauses or reaction shots to build suspense and allow the audience to absorb the drama, mirroring the tension-building techniques in scene 23's courtroom humor.
  • Explore Bobby's character more deeply by adding a line or action that shows his personal frustration, such as a glance at Fred Hampton for support, to humanize him and strengthen the scene's emotional impact, while tying into the broader narrative of racial dynamics present in scenes like scene 4.



Scene 28 - Comedy and Courtroom Irony
85 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 85
The place is packed and smoke-filled and everyone is there to
see and hear ABBIE, who’s up on stage at the microphone. He
has a style onstage that’s not unlike Lenny Bruce.
We come in on a BIG LAUGH and APPLAUSE...
ABBIE
So Hayden’s in a holding cell on a
tire-pressure related charge and
suddenly every freak in Chicago is
mobilized. “They got Hayden, they
got Hayden.” We’re gonna march down
to the police station, overcome the
police and the Illinois National
Guard and free Tom Hayden.
(pause)
We couldn’t find our way out of the
park.
A BIG LAUGH...
ABBIE (CONT'D)
Over the course of 10 days, the
government called 37 witnesses,
each and every one of them an
employee of the government. I call
this portion of the trial, “With
Friends Like These...”.
86 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 86
WOJOHOWSKI’s on the stand.
SCHULTZ
Would you state your full name
please?
WOJOHOWSKI
Stanley R. Wojohowski.
87 EXT. GRANT PARK - DAY 87
WOJOHOWSKI, who now looks like a biker comes up to ABBIE with
another biker--EDDIE.
EDDIE
Abbie. This is Stan.
WOJOHOWSKI
Stan Wojohowski.

ABBIE
How you doin’, Stan?
EDDIE
Stan’s gonna be one of your
bodyguards, he handles himself
pretty well.
CUT BACK TO:
88 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 88
SCHULTZ
And what is your occupation please,
Mr. Wojohowski?
WOJOHOWSKI
I’m a Chicago Police Officer.
89 EXT. GRANT PARK - DAY 89
A MAN is introducing RENNIE to SAM.
MAN
Rennie, this is Sam, he can be
trusted.
CUT BACK TO:
90 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 90
SAM
Detective Sam McGiven, Chicago
Police Department.
91 EXT. GRANT PARK - DAY 91
TOM’s being introduced.
SCOTT
Scotty Scibelli, Tom. I’m your guy
for ass, weed or whatever you need.
CUT BACK TO:

92 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 92
SCOTT
Staff Sergeant Scott Scibelli,
Illinois State Police.
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Comedy"]

Summary In a smoke-filled college auditorium, Abbie performs a stand-up routine that humorously critiques the trial of activists, highlighting the absurdity of government witnesses. The scene intercuts with a courtroom where prosecutor Schultz questions police officers, revealing their undercover roles as supposed allies to the activists. Flashbacks to Grant Park show the deceptive introductions of these agents, contrasting with their testimonies in court. The blend of comedy and serious themes of betrayal underscores the irony of the situation, culminating in the revelation of Staff Sergeant Scott Scibelli's identity.
Strengths
  • Effective genre blending
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Engaging plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Potential tonal shifts
  • Complex character dynamics

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends different genres and tones, providing a unique perspective on the legal process and activism. The humor adds depth to serious themes, creating an engaging narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of juxtaposing legal drama with protest activities is innovative and engaging. The scene effectively explores themes of activism, authority, and the legal system.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is engaging, moving between the courtroom drama and the protest activities, providing a multi-dimensional view of the characters and their motivations.

Originality: 8.5

The scene presents a fresh perspective on activism and protest movements, blending humor with political commentary. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. The scene effectively showcases the interactions between different characters in contrasting settings.

Character Changes: 7

There are subtle character changes, particularly in the interactions between the characters in the courtroom and the protest setting, showcasing their evolving dynamics.

Internal Goal: 9

Abbie's internal goal is to inspire and mobilize the audience towards activism and protest. This reflects his deeper desire to challenge authority and effect social change.

External Goal: 7.5

Abbie's external goal is to rally support for freeing Tom Hayden from police custody. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of confronting law enforcement and mobilizing a movement.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene contains moderate conflict, primarily stemming from the interactions between the characters in the courtroom and the escalating tensions during the protest activities.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene, represented by the government and law enforcement, poses a significant challenge to the protagonist's goals, creating suspense and conflict.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high, with legal implications for the characters in the courtroom and potential consequences for the protest activities, adding tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, deepening character relationships, and setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the characters' unpredictable actions and the volatile nature of the protest setting. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how events will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the clash between government authority and individual rights, as highlighted by Abbie's critique of the legal system and call for civil disobedience. This challenges Abbie's beliefs in activism and resistance.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to tension, providing a nuanced emotional experience for the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, blending humor with serious themes. It effectively conveys the personalities of the characters and advances the plot.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic characters, sharp dialogue, and high stakes. The audience is drawn into the conflict and the characters' motivations.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, with a balance of dialogue and action that maintains the audience's interest. Transitions between locations are well-paced, keeping the narrative flow smooth.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8.5

The formatting adheres to the expected style for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and concise action lines. Dialogue is properly formatted, enhancing readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the tension and energy of the setting. Transitions between locations are smooth, maintaining the scene's momentum.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses Abbie's stand-up comedy routine to highlight the absurdity and irony of the trial, mirroring the style of Lenny Bruce, which adds depth to Abbie's character as a charismatic, satirical figure. This approach not only entertains but also underscores the theme of government overreach and deception, making the audience reflect on how the activists were infiltrated by undercover agents. However, the rapid intercutting between the auditorium, courtroom, and flashbacks can feel disjointed, potentially confusing viewers about the timeline and emotional flow, especially since it shifts abruptly from the tense courtroom confrontation in the previous scene (scene 84) to a humorous performance without clear transitional cues.
  • The flashbacks revealing undercover agents like Wojohowski, McGiven, and Scibelli as government plants build tension and irony, effectively illustrating the betrayal and surveillance themes central to the screenplay. This technique reinforces the idea that the activists were surrounded by 'friends' who were actually enemies, which is a strong narrative device. That said, the character introductions in the flashbacks are somewhat superficial and lack emotional weight, making it hard for the audience to connect with the stakes of these revelations, as they come across more as expository dumps than organic story progression.
  • Abbie's dialogue is witty and engaging, serving to critique the trial's bias through humor, which fits well with his established personality and the overall tone of activism and rebellion. However, the comedy risks overshadowing the seriousness of the trial's implications, potentially diluting the emotional impact for viewers who might see it as too lighthearted given the historical context of government persecution. Additionally, the scene doesn't fully capitalize on the opportunity to explore Abbie's internal conflict or growth, as his routine feels more like a repetition of his traits rather than advancing his arc in the story.
  • Visually, the smoke-filled auditorium and the contrasting settings of the comedic stage and the stark courtroom create a vivid atmosphere that enhances the scene's thematic elements, such as the contrast between public performance and official testimony. The intercutting highlights the irony of the government's witnesses, but it could benefit from more deliberate pacing to allow key moments, like the undercover introductions, to land with greater impact. Furthermore, the scene's placement after a high-tension moment in scene 84 (Bobby Seale's denied motion) feels jarring, as it doesn't acknowledge the immediate fallout, which might disrupt the narrative flow and make the story feel fragmented.
  • In terms of plot integration, this scene serves as a clever way to reveal the extent of government infiltration, which ties into the larger trial narrative and builds toward the activists' defense. However, it doesn't advance the main conflict significantly, as the revelations about the undercover agents might feel redundant if similar themes have been explored earlier. The ending of the scene, with the courtroom testimony, sets up potential for escalation in future scenes but lacks a strong cliffhanger or emotional resolution, leaving it somewhat anticlimactic despite the humor.
  • Overall, the scene is thematically consistent with the screenplay's exploration of injustice and irony, using Abbie's performance to humanize the activists and critique the system. Yet, it could be more effective if it balanced humor with moments of gravity, ensuring that the audience feels the weight of the deception rather than just laughing at it. This might help in maintaining engagement for readers or viewers who are following the story's serious undertones amidst the comedic elements.
Suggestions
  • Improve transitions between intercuts by adding subtle narrative links, such as Abbie referencing the trial's events in his comedy or using visual fades to connect the auditorium humor to the courtroom testimony, making the shifts less abrupt and more cohesive with the previous scene's tension.
  • Add more emotional depth to the flashbacks by including brief moments of character interaction or internal monologue, such as Abbie's suspicion or a subtle hint of unease during the introductions, to make the reveal of undercover agents more impactful and less expository.
  • Balance the comedic tone with serious undertones by incorporating a moment in Abbie's routine where he reflects on the personal cost of the trial, such as a pause or a shift in tone, to deepen character development and prevent the scene from feeling too frivolous.
  • Enhance pacing by varying the rhythm of intercuts—perhaps slowing down the flashback sequences to emphasize key revelations and speeding up the comedy bits—to build tension and ensure the audience can absorb the irony without confusion.
  • Strengthen the connection to the previous scene by starting with a brief acknowledgment of the contempt citation or a time jump indicator, such as a title card or Abbie's comment on the court's chaos, to maintain narrative continuity and heighten the contrast between courtroom drama and comedic relief.
  • Expand the scene slightly to show the consequences of the undercover revelations, like a reaction shot from Abbie or another defendant in the auditorium, to advance the plot and make the scene feel more integral to the overall story progression.



Scene 29 - A Toast to Connection
93 INT. BAR - NIGHT 93
JERRY’s having a drink at the end of a crowded bar. The
BARTENDER puts another drink in front of him.
BARTENDER
This is from the woman in the
glasses.
JERRY sees the woman wearing glasses, DAPHNE, at the other
end of the bar.
JERRY
Really?
JERRY takes his drink and heads over to the woman.
JERRY (CONT'D)
Uh...Did you mean this for me?
DAPHNE
I did.
JERRY
Nobody’s ever sent me a drink
before.
DAPHNE
How do you like it so far?
JERRY
It’s a Tom Collins. I know it’s
kind of a country club drink but
they’re delicious. A man in England
named Tom Collins claimed in 1894
to have invented it, but then
another man who’s name I’ve
forgotten said, no, he’d invented
it two years earlier and I think
there was a lawsuit.
DAPHNE
That’s a surprising amount of
controversy for gin and lemonade.
JERRY
I’m Jerry.

DAPHNE
Hey Jerry, do you know why the
French only eat one egg for
breakfast?
JERRY
No.
DAPHNE
Because in France, one egg is “un
oeuf.”
(pause)
It’s un oeuf.
JERRY
Wow.
DAPHNE
I know.
JERRY
I feel so much better about my Tom
Collins story.
DAPHNE
I’m Daphne O’Connor.
CUT BACK TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance","Comedy"]

Summary In a crowded bar at night, Jerry receives a drink from a woman named Daphne, who is seated at the other end. Intrigued, he approaches her, leading to a playful conversation where he shares trivia about the Tom Collins cocktail. Daphne responds with a pun about the French word for egg, creating a light-hearted atmosphere. They exchange names, with Jerry introducing himself first, followed by Daphne O'Connor, before the scene transitions back to another part of the story.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Charming interaction
  • Humorous banter
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant plot advancement
  • Low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with engaging dialogue, humor, and a hint of romance, making it entertaining and memorable.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of an unexpected encounter in a bar leading to a charming interaction between two characters is well-executed, adding depth to the characters and providing a moment of levity.

Plot: 7.5

While the scene doesn't significantly advance the main plot, it adds a layer of character development and relationship building, contributing to the overall narrative.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to a typical bar encounter by emphasizing quirky conversation topics and character interactions. The authenticity of the characters' dialogue adds originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Jerry is portrayed as affable and knowledgeable, while Daphne is witty and engaging, creating a dynamic and interesting interaction between the two characters.

Character Changes: 4

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it adds depth to Jerry and Daphne's personalities and relationship.

Internal Goal: 8

Jerry's internal goal in this scene is to connect with someone on a personal level, as indicated by his surprise and interest when Daphne sends him a drink. This reflects his deeper need for companionship and validation.

External Goal: 6

Jerry's external goal is to engage in conversation with Daphne and establish a connection with her. This reflects the immediate challenge of initiating a conversation with a stranger.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The scene lacks significant conflict, focusing more on humor and charm in the interaction between the characters.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is mild, with the challenge of initiating a conversation with a stranger adding a subtle layer of tension and uncertainty to the interaction.

High Stakes: 2

The stakes are low in this scene, focusing more on light-hearted interaction and humor.

Story Forward: 5

The scene contributes to character development and relationship building but does not significantly move the main plot forward.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected nature of the conversation topics and the playful banter between Jerry and Daphne, keeping the audience intrigued.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the contrast between Jerry's knowledge of trivial facts and Daphne's playful wit. This challenges Jerry's belief in the importance of factual information versus Daphne's light-hearted approach to conversation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene evokes a light-hearted and positive emotional response from the audience, primarily through humor and charm.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals the personalities of the characters, driving the scene forward with humor and charm.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty and humorous dialogue exchanges between Jerry and Daphne, creating a sense of intrigue and connection between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and curiosity through the back-and-forth dialogue exchanges, creating a dynamic rhythm that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the standard screenplay format for dialogue sequences in a bar setting, making it easy to follow and visualize the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a dialogue-driven interaction in a bar setting, with clear character introductions, dialogue exchanges, and scene transitions.


Critique
  • This scene provides a much-needed moment of levity in a screenplay dominated by intense courtroom drama and social unrest, effectively humanizing Jerry Rubin by showcasing his quirky, trivia-loving personality. It contrasts sharply with the preceding scenes of confrontation and testimony, offering a brief respite that can engage the audience and build character depth. However, the scene feels somewhat isolated from the overarching narrative, as it doesn't significantly advance the plot or deepen the stakes; it's a standalone flirtatious encounter that, while charming, might not earn its place in a tightly paced script about a high-stakes trial. Additionally, the dialogue, while witty, borders on exposition-heavy with Jerry's detailed recounting of the Tom Collins controversy, which could come across as unnatural or overly convenient for establishing his character traits without tying into the larger themes of deception and surveillance present in the story.
  • The interaction between Jerry and Daphne is engaging and flirtatious, which helps to establish Daphne's character subtly before her true identity as an FBI agent is revealed. This foreshadows the infiltration plotline effectively for attentive viewers, adding a layer of irony and tension in retrospect. That said, the scene lacks depth in exploring Jerry's emotional state; given the context of the trial and his recent experiences, there's an opportunity to show more vulnerability or cynicism in Jerry, making the flirtation feel more earned and less like a random bar encounter. The pun joke by Daphne is clever and light-hearted, but it might feel forced or stereotypical, potentially undermining the authenticity of their connection and missing a chance to infuse subtext that hints at her ulterior motives.
  • Visually, the scene is straightforward and static, focusing primarily on dialogue with minimal action or environmental description. In a screenplay filled with dynamic intercuts between courtrooms, protests, and flashbacks, this scene could benefit from more cinematic elements to make it visually compelling, such as detailed descriptions of the bar's atmosphere, crowd reactions, or subtle body language that conveys unspoken tension. The ending, with the cut back to another part, feels abrupt and could be smoother to maintain narrative flow. Overall, while the scene succeeds in providing character relief, it risks feeling inconsequential if not better integrated into the themes of trust, betrayal, and the personal toll of activism.
  • Thematically, this scene touches on the human side of the activists, showing Jerry in a vulnerable, social setting away from the chaos, which helps to round out his portrayal beyond the courtroom firebrand. However, it doesn't fully capitalize on the irony of Daphne's role, which could be a missed opportunity to build suspense or thematic resonance. For instance, the flirtation could subtly underscore the theme of government infiltration and the erosion of personal relationships in a surveilled society, but as written, it remains light and disconnected. This might make it harder for readers or viewers to connect the dots between this moment and the larger story, potentially diluting the impact of Daphne's later revelation.
  • In terms of pacing and length, the scene is concise, which is appropriate for a brief interlude, but it could be tightened further to heighten its efficiency. The dialogue exchange, while fun, includes redundant elements (e.g., Jerry's lengthy trivia) that might slow the rhythm without adding proportional value. As scene 29 in a 60-scene script, it serves as a transitional moment, but it could be more purposeful by linking Jerry's casual demeanor to his activism or the trial's pressures, ensuring every scene contributes to character arc or plot progression.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate subtle foreshadowing of Daphne's FBI role through her body language or micro-expressions, such as glancing at the door nervously or scanning the room, to add tension and make the scene more engaging without revealing too much.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it more concise and natural; for example, shorten Jerry's Tom Collins trivia to a punchier version that still conveys his personality, or integrate it into a more organic conversation that reveals his stress from the trial, tying it back to the main narrative.
  • Add visual and sensory details to enhance the bar setting, like describing the dim lighting, clinking glasses, or background chatter, to make the scene more cinematic and immersive, helping to contrast it with the sterile courtroom environments.
  • Use this scene to deepen Jerry's character by showing how the trial is affecting him personally; perhaps have him reference a recent court event in a offhand way during the conversation, creating a bridge to the larger story and making the flirtation feel more contextual.
  • Consider ending the scene on a note that heightens anticipation for the cut back, such as Jerry noticing something suspicious about Daphne or sharing a meaningful look, to better integrate it into the thriller elements of the script and ensure it contributes to the overall tension.



Scene 30 - Testimony and Tension: The Chicago Protest
94 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 94
DAPHNE
Special Agent Daphne O’Conner, FBI.
Counter Intelligence.
DAPHNE is on the stand looking professional now. WEINER leans
in to FROINES and whispers--
WEINER
You think it’s possible there were
seven demonstrators in Chicago last
summer leading 10,000 undercover
cops in protest?
FROINES nods...
SCHULTZ
What was your assignment in
Chicago?

DAPHNE
To use Jerry Rubin to try to
infiltrate the leaders of the
protest.
JERRY shakes his head...
SCHULTZ
You were with Jerry Rubin, Abbie
Hoffman, Rennie Davis and Dave
Dellinger the afternoon of the
27th?
DAPHNE
Yes.
SCHULTZ
What were the four of them doing?
DAPHNE
They were leading a group of
protestors.
SCHULTZ
How many would you say?
DAPHNE
About eight-hundred.
SCHULTZ
Where were they leading these eight-
hundred people?
DAPHNE
To Police Headquarters at 11th and
State.
SCHULTZ
Why?
DAPHNE
Tom Hayden was being held there on
charges of tampering with a police
vehicle. Jerry Rubin said it was
time to confront the pigs.
SCHULTZ
By pigs he meant--
DAPHNE
It was time to confront the police.

95 EXT. MICHIGAN AVENUE - DAY 95
ABBIE, JERRY, RENNIE as well as DAPHNE and the other
undercovers lead DEMONSTRATORS who are pouring out onto the
street from the park. We hear a call and response chant of
“Free Tom Hayden! “Free Tom Hayden!” as the crowd makes it
way up Michigan Avenue.
A POLICEMAN standing on the street is taking this in and then
reaches for his radio and calls ahead.
96 INT. POLICE STATION - DAY 96
TIGHT ON a rack of riot gear--helmets, nightsticks, etc.,
being grabbed off racks.
CUT BACK TO:
97 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 97
SAM
I remember also at the front of the
group was Mr. Allen Ginsburg.
SCHULTZ
Allen Ginsburg the poet.
SAM
Yes. He was chanting a kind of war
chant.
98 EXT. MICHIGAN AVENUE - DAY 98
ALLEN GINSBURG, who’s joined the others at the front of the
group, has his hands raised and is chanting “ohmmmmm”...
JERRY
What’s he doing?
ABBIE
He’s calming the energy, settling
things down.
DAVE
How’s it working so far?
99 OMIT 99
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Political"]

Summary In a tense courtroom scene, Special Agent Daphne O’Connor testifies about her undercover role in the FBI's Counter Intelligence division during the Chicago protests. As she recounts leading demonstrators alongside notable figures like Jerry Rubin and Abbie Hoffman, skepticism arises from the defense attorneys regarding the scale of undercover operations. Flashbacks illustrate the chaotic protest atmosphere, with chants for Tom Hayden's release and police preparations for potential violence. The scene interweaves courtroom drama with vivid protest imagery, highlighting the conflicts and tensions surrounding the events.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Character dynamics
  • Plot advancement
  • Conflict escalation
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured with a mix of tension, conflict, and character revelations. It effectively moves the plot forward and sets up high-stakes situations.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of undercover infiltration, escalating conflicts, and high-stakes protest march is engaging and well-developed. It adds depth to the narrative and raises the stakes.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is rich with tension, conflicts, and character revelations. It advances the storyline significantly and sets up key events for future developments.

Originality: 8.5

The scene presents a fresh perspective on the clash between counterculture movements and law enforcement, with authentic character interactions and dialogue that feel genuine to the era.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character interactions and dynamics are well-portrayed, especially with the undercover agent revealing crucial information. The scene adds depth to the characters and their motivations.

Character Changes: 7

Character dynamics and revelations lead to subtle changes, especially with the undercover agent's testimony. The scene sets the stage for potential character growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Daphne's internal goal is to navigate her loyalty to her job as an FBI agent with her personal beliefs and values regarding the protest movement. This reflects her deeper struggle between duty and conscience.

External Goal: 7.5

Daphne's external goal is to gather information and maintain her cover within the protest group. This reflects the immediate challenge of balancing her undercover mission with the escalating events of the protest.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflicts, both internal and external, adding intensity and drama. The escalating tensions and confrontations drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting ideologies, escalating events, and uncertain outcomes that challenge the characters' beliefs and actions.

High Stakes: 9

The high-stakes protest march, undercover infiltration, and escalating conflicts raise the stakes significantly. The scene sets up crucial moments with potentially far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key plot elements, escalating tensions, and setting up future events. It adds depth to the narrative progression.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable as the characters' actions and the evolving protest create uncertainty and tension, leaving the audience unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident in the clash between the protesters' anti-establishment beliefs and the legal system's enforcement of order. This challenges Daphne's beliefs in justice and authority.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to reflection. The high-stakes situations and character dynamics create a compelling emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys tension, conflict, and character motivations. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the overall narrative.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its dynamic dialogue, shifting settings, and escalating conflict that keeps the audience invested in the characters' choices and outcomes.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, moving seamlessly between the courtroom and the protest to maintain a sense of urgency and momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene transitions and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively balancing the courtroom drama with the escalating tension of the protest.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting between the courtroom testimony and flashbacks to illustrate the infiltration and protest events, reinforcing the theme of government deception and irony central to the Chicago 7 trial narrative. However, the rapid shifts might feel disjointed for viewers, as the transitions lack strong visual or auditory cues to ground the audience, potentially confusing those not deeply familiar with the story's context. This could dilute the emotional impact, especially since the courtroom dialogue is expository and somewhat repetitive, focusing heavily on recounting events without delving into character motivations or internal conflicts, making Daphne's testimony feel more like a plot device than a character-driven moment.
  • Character development is underutilized here; Daphne's testimony reveals her role as an undercover agent, which contrasts sharply with her flirtatious introduction in the previous scene, offering a missed opportunity to explore her internal conflict or moral ambiguity. For instance, Jerry's head shake during her testimony hints at personal betrayal, but it's not expanded upon, leaving the scene emotionally flat. Additionally, the inclusion of minor characters like Weiner and Froines whispering adds some levity and commentary, but it feels incidental and doesn't advance their arcs, making their presence seem superfluous in a scene that could better focus on the core defendants.
  • The dialogue is functional for advancing the plot and providing exposition about the protest march, but it lacks nuance and dramatic tension. Lines like 'They were leading a group of protestors' and 'Jerry Rubin said it was time to confront the pigs' are direct and informative, yet they come across as overly simplistic, missing chances for more vivid, character-specific language that could heighten irony or humor. The scene's reliance on straightforward questioning and answering mirrors real trial proceedings but risks boring the audience if not balanced with more engaging elements, such as subtext or conflicting emotions.
  • Visually, the intercuts to Michigan Avenue and the police station effectively build tension and show preparation for conflict, but they could be more cinematically dynamic. For example, the chant 'Free Tom Hayden!' and Ginsburg's 'om' chanting add atmosphere, but without stronger integration, they feel like disconnected vignettes rather than a cohesive sequence. The scene ends abruptly with omitted scene 99, which might indicate pacing issues in the broader script, and it doesn't fully capitalize on the comedic or satirical tone established in earlier scenes like Abbie's routine, resulting in a tonal inconsistency that could weaken the overall narrative flow.
  • In terms of plot advancement, the scene successfully establishes evidence of the defendants' actions and the government's surveillance, tying into the trial's central conflict. However, it doesn't escalate stakes or reveal new information that significantly alters the audience's understanding, making it feel somewhat redundant after similar revelations in scene 28. The humorous undertone from the previous bar scene with Daphne and Jerry is not leveraged here, missing an opportunity to heighten the irony of her betrayal, which could make the scene more memorable and thematically resonant for readers or viewers.
Suggestions
  • Smooth out the intercutting by adding transitional elements, such as fade-ins or sound bridges (e.g., the chant carrying over from flashback to courtroom), to make shifts less jarring and improve narrative flow.
  • Enhance character depth by including reaction shots or subtle expressions from Jerry or Abbie during Daphne's testimony to emphasize personal stakes, such as Jerry's sense of betrayal, drawing a stronger emotional connection to her flirtatious introduction in the prior scene.
  • Refine dialogue to be more dynamic and less expository; for example, have Daphne's responses include hints of hesitation or sarcasm to reveal her discomfort, adding layers to her character and increasing dramatic tension.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling in flashbacks, such as close-ups on protesters' faces or symbolic elements like the riot gear, to heighten the sense of impending chaos and make the scene more engaging cinematically.
  • To avoid redundancy, condense the testimony by focusing on key revelations and linking it more explicitly to the trial's themes, perhaps by having Daphne's words echo ironic elements from earlier scenes, ensuring the scene advances the plot without repeating established ideas.



Scene 31 - Protest and Punchlines
100 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 100
ABBIE on stage--
ABBIE
The guy testified that Ginsburg was
letting out a war chant. Some kind
of fuckin’ jungle signal to beat
poets that they should begin
pelting the troopers with blank
verse.
A LAUGH from the CROWD...
ABBIE (CONT'D)
A guy in the crowd is marching with
a girl on his shoulders. She’s
waving an American flag and this
seems to really be bothering some
frat brothers who’d come to town in
the spirit of fraternity.
101 EXT. MICHIGAN AVENUE - DAY 101
A YOUNG WOMAN in a beret is being carried on the shoulders of
a demonstrator as they march. She’s carrying a flag and being
shouted at by three FRAT BOYS on the sidewalk.
FRAT BOYS
(screaming)
Put the flag down! Put it down! Go
to the kitchen and make me a
sandwich!
JERRY
I’m gonna go back there and take
care of that.
ABBIE
They’re not the enemy.
JERRY
In so many fuckin’ ways they are.
FRAT BOYS
Put down the goddam flag you ugly
bitch! Go to the kitchen and make
me a fuckin’ sandwich!
CUT BACK TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a college auditorium, Abbie humorously recounts a protest incident involving a woman being harassed by frat boys while waving an American flag. The scene intercuts with a flashback to Michigan Avenue, where the harassment occurs, highlighting themes of misogyny and social unrest. Jerry expresses a desire to confront the harassers, but Abbie argues they are not the enemy, leading to a tense disagreement. The scene blends humor with serious social commentary, ending with a return to Abbie's narration.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of humor and tension
  • Nuanced character interactions
  • Engaging thematic exploration
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor with underlying tension, showcasing societal clashes and character dynamics in a compelling manner.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of juxtaposing comedy with societal clashes adds depth to the scene, offering a nuanced exploration of tensions and character interactions.

Plot: 8

The plot progression is engaging, moving seamlessly from a comedic performance to a confrontational situation, advancing character dynamics and thematic development.

Originality: 8.5

The scene presents a fresh approach to exploring societal tensions and counterculture movements, offering authentic character interactions and dialogue that feel genuine and impactful.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, showcasing humor, conflict, and depth in their interactions, contributing significantly to the scene's impact.

Character Changes: 8

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions and conflicts contribute to subtle shifts in character dynamics and perceptions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate the clash of values and ideologies while staying true to their beliefs and principles. This reflects their need for authenticity and standing up for what they believe in despite opposition.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to maintain peace and avoid escalating the conflict, showcasing their ability to handle challenging situations diplomatically.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The scene presents conflicts on multiple levels - societal, ideological, and personal - adding depth and intensity to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, creating a challenging dynamic that adds complexity and suspense to the conflict, keeping the audience engaged.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are moderately high, reflecting societal tensions, personal conflicts, and ideological clashes that impact the characters and the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening character relationships, introducing conflicts, and advancing thematic elements, contributing to the overall narrative progression.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable as the conflict escalates unexpectedly, creating tension and uncertainty about the characters' choices and the scene's resolution.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident in the clash between counterculture ideals of freedom and expression versus traditional, conservative values of conformity and patriarchy. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in equality and freedom of expression.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from laughter to tension, engaging the audience and enhancing the overall impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys humor, tension, and societal commentary, enhancing character personalities and thematic exploration.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its high emotional stakes, dynamic character interactions, and the sense of urgency in the conflict, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing effectively builds tension and momentum, enhancing the scene's impact and emphasizing key moments of conflict and resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the genre's standards, enhancing readability and clarity in conveying the scene's intensity and themes.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the conflict and character dynamics, fitting the genre's expectations.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses Abbie's stand-up comedy routine to inject humor and satire into the narrative, which is consistent with his character as a charismatic and provocative activist. This approach helps to underscore the absurdity of the trial and the events in Chicago, making it accessible and engaging for the audience. However, the humor risks overshadowing the gravity of the historical context, potentially diluting the emotional weight of the protest movement and the harassment depicted in the flashback. The intercut between the auditorium and the Michigan Avenue flashback is dynamic and mirrors the film's style of blending past and present, but it can feel disjointed without stronger transitional elements, leaving viewers to piece together how Abbie's narration directly connects to the visual events.
  • Character interactions, particularly between Jerry and Abbie, reveal their differing philosophies—Jerry's impulsiveness versus Abbie's strategic restraint—but this is underdeveloped. Jerry's desire to confront the frat boys highlights internal conflicts within the activist group, which is a strength, yet it doesn't evolve the characters significantly or tie into their arcs in the trial. The frat boys are portrayed as one-dimensional antagonists with repetitive, stereotypical dialogue, which may reinforce negative tropes and reduce the scene's depth. Additionally, the young woman with the flag is a passive figure, serving only as a victim of harassment without agency, which misses an opportunity to empower her or use her as a symbol of the movement's broader inclusivity.
  • Thematically, the scene addresses issues of societal prejudice and the challenges faced by protesters, but it doesn't advance the overarching plot of the trial effectively. As scene 31 in a 60-scene script, it should contribute to rising tension or character development, but it feels more like a comedic interlude that recaps events rather than pushing the story forward. This could make the pacing feel sluggish in a narrative that alternates between high-stakes courtroom drama and reflective flashbacks. Furthermore, the connection to the previous scene (Ginsburg's chanting and the march) is referenced but not seamlessly integrated, which might confuse audiences about the sequence of events and diminish the cumulative impact of the protest buildup.
  • Visually and aurally, the scene leverages the contrast between the lively, smoke-filled auditorium and the chaotic street protest to create vivid imagery, enhancing the satirical tone. Abbie's comedy routine draws laughs and builds empathy, but the abrupt shift to the aggressive harassment in the flashback creates a tonal whiplash that could unsettle viewers. The dialogue, while humorous in Abbie's delivery, includes repetitive shouts from the frat boys that may feel exaggerated and less authentic, potentially alienating audiences who expect more nuanced representations in a historical drama. Overall, while the scene captures the spirit of countercultural resistance, it could better balance humor with the serious undertones to maintain narrative momentum and thematic coherence.
Suggestions
  • Strengthen transitions between the auditorium and flashback by using auditory cues, such as Abbie's words echoing into the visual memory, or visual motifs like the American flag to link the comedy routine directly to the protest scene, improving flow and clarity.
  • Develop the frat boys' characters slightly by adding a line or two that humanizes them or shows their motivations, reducing stereotypes and making the conflict more relatable; similarly, give the young woman a brief moment of agency, like shouting back or resisting, to emphasize the empowerment themes of the movement.
  • Enhance plot progression by having Abbie's comedy reveal new information about the trial or connect more explicitly to ongoing courtroom events, such as referencing the undercover agents or the contempt citations, to ensure the scene advances the story rather than just recapping.
  • Balance the tone by modulating the humor—perhaps shorten the repetitive frat boy dialogue and focus on Abbie's wit—to prevent tonal shifts from undermining the scene's emotional impact, and consider adding a subtle nod to the broader historical context to deepen audience engagement.
  • Refine pacing by tightening the dialogue in the flashback to avoid redundancy, and use the intercut structure to build tension, such as showing Jerry's frustration escalating in real-time with the harassment, to make the scene more dynamic and integral to the rising action of the script.



Scene 32 - Confrontation and De-escalation
102 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 102
WOJOHOWSKI
The group turned right on 11th
Street.
103 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 103
ABBIE
We make a right on 11th Street.
104 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 104
DAPHNE
And that’s when they saw it.
105 EXT. 11TH STREET - DAY 105
ABBIE
Holy shit.
JERRY
Jesus.
The RIOT POLICE are pouring out of the station and forming a
line in the middle of the street.
ABBIE
Are they about to conquer Spain?
JERRY
(beat--let’s do it anyway)
Well fuck it.
DAVE
What do you mean fuck it?
JERRY
This is it. It’s time. Here we are.
ABBIE
We’re not rushing the police.
JERRY
Why the fuck not?
ABBIE
Because we’ll be critically
injured.

RENNIE
Tom doesn’t want anyone hurt.
DAVE
We’ve gotta turn this crowd around.
There’s too much momentum, we’ve
gotta turn ‘em around and calm ‘em
down.
DAPHNE
(to JERRY)
He’s right. This isn’t safe, I know
something about this.
DAVE gets on his walkie-talkie--
DAVE
(into the walkie-talkie)
All marshals--slow ‘em down and
turn ‘em around. It’s the Alamo up
here. Turn ‘em around and get ‘em
safely back in the park.
JERRY
We should be marching right up to
them.
ABBIE
I don’t think they’re gonna
surrender man. Keep ‘em moving.
Dave and I are gonna stay and make
Tom’s bail.
(to DAVE)
I don’t carry money, do you?
DAVE
I do, I’m a grown man.
The rest of the leaders start heading back where they came
from as ALLEN GINSBURG holds out his arms in a meditation
position and lets out a soft “ohmmmmm...”
JERRY
You’re killin’ me, Allen. You’re
goddam killin’ me.
(shouting)
Keep ‘em moving.

106 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 106
ABBIE
The marshals are spreading the word
that we’re gonna keep moving, go
left on Roosevelt and back in the
park, right?
107 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 107
DAPHNE
When they got to the park they saw
that three divisions of police
officers had moved in from the
south.
108 EXT. GRANT PARK - DAY 108
JERRY, RENNIE and the DEMONSTRATORS approach and see that
there are lines and lines of police officers that have formed
at the top of the hill in the park.
109 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 109
ABBIE
I don’t know what tactical genius
came up with that, but you know
when shit happens? When you don’t
give protestors a place to go.
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy","Political"]

Summary In a tense courtroom scene, Wojohowski testifies about a protest event, intercut with Abbie recounting the same incident in a college auditorium. The narrative shifts to 11th Street, where Abbie, Jerry, and others react to the formation of riot police, leading to a heated debate on whether to confront them. Jerry pushes for confrontation, while Abbie and Dave advocate for safety and de-escalation, ultimately deciding to turn the crowd around. Allen Ginsburg's peaceful meditation contrasts the chaos. The scene culminates with Abbie critiquing the lack of a safe escape route for protestors, highlighting the escalating tensions.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of tension and humor
  • Strategic decision-making by characters
  • Advancement of both protest and trial narratives
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion with multiple flashbacks and intercutting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines tension, humor, and strategic decision-making, providing a pivotal moment in both the protest and trial narratives.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the strategic choices made by protest leaders during a critical moment, showcasing the complexities of activism and the legal system.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly through the scene, with key developments in both the protest and trial storylines.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on protest dynamics, showcasing authentic dialogue and actions that feel true to the characters' motivations and the societal context. The unpredictability of the characters' decisions adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities and motivations are effectively portrayed, especially in their differing approaches to activism and handling conflict.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their approaches and decisions, reflecting the evolving dynamics of the protest and trial situations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain safety and order within the protest group while also standing up against perceived injustice. This reflects their deeper need for justice, safety, and a desire to make a difference.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the escalating tension with the police, avoid violence, and ensure the safety of the protestors. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of facing a potentially dangerous confrontation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between different viewpoints on activism and the escalating tension with the police create a high level of conflict in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and decisions. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the opposition's intensity.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident in the confrontation with the police, the strategic decisions made by the characters, and the potential consequences for both the protest leaders and the trial defendants.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by showcasing key events that impact both the protest movement and the trial proceedings.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the characters' unexpected choices and the evolving dynamics of the protest. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the approach to resistance and activism. Characters debate between peaceful protest and more aggressive actions, reflecting differing values on how to enact change.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to humor, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' decisions.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension, humor, and strategic discussions among the characters, enhancing the scene's impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, conflicting viewpoints, and the sense of imminent danger. The rapid dialogue exchanges and escalating tension keep the audience invested in the characters' decisions.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, maintaining a sense of urgency and momentum throughout. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards, ensuring clarity and coherence in the scene's presentation. It effectively guides the reader through the escalating events.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a dynamic structure that effectively builds tension and conflict, leading to a climactic moment. The formatting aligns with the genre's expectations, enhancing the scene's impact.


Critique
  • The intercutting technique between the courtroom, auditorium, and protest flashback effectively builds tension and irony, mirroring the chaotic nature of the events and the trial. However, it can feel disjointed and repetitive, as the shifts between locations disrupt the flow and may confuse the audience about the primary focus. For instance, the repeated references to turning right on 11th Street and the police buildup could be consolidated to maintain momentum without redundancy, which might dilute the emotional impact in a scene that's part of a larger sequence of high-stakes events.
  • Dialogue in the protest flashback is energetic and reveals character conflicts, such as Jerry's impulsiveness versus Abbie's caution, which highlights the ideological divides among the activists. That said, some lines, like Abbie's 'Are they about to conquer Spain?' reference, come across as overly flippant or historically incongruous, potentially undermining the gravity of the situation. This could alienate viewers who expect a more grounded portrayal of the 1968 protests, especially when compared to the serious testimony in the courtroom, making the scene feel less cohesive in tone.
  • The inclusion of Daphne's testimony and her line 'I know something about this' adds depth to her undercover role, connecting back to her introduction in earlier scenes, but it lacks specificity and emotional weight. As an FBI agent, her perspective could be used to explore themes of betrayal and manipulation more profoundly, yet here it's somewhat passive, reducing her agency and making her feel like a plot device rather than a fully realized character. This is particularly noticeable in contrast to Abbie's narration, which dominates the scene and overshadows other characters' developments.
  • Visually, the scene effectively conveys the escalating tension through descriptions of police lines and the protesters' reactions, but the meditation by Allen Ginsburg feels like a quirky aside that doesn't fully integrate into the narrative. It adds contrast but risks coming across as comedic relief that doesn't advance the plot or themes, potentially weakening the scene's intensity. Additionally, the auditory elements, like the 'om' sound, could be better utilized to heighten the irony between peaceful ideals and impending violence, but as presented, they might not resonate strongly with the audience.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the central conflict of protesters being denied safe spaces, as Abbie notes in the auditorium, which ties into the broader critique of authority and escalation in the screenplay. However, it could better link to the immediate previous scenes, such as the harassment in Scene 100 or the undercover revelations in Scene 28, to create a more seamless narrative thread. Without stronger connections, the scene risks feeling isolated, and the critique of tactical errors by authorities could be more explicitly tied to the trial's absurdity to enhance understanding for the reader or viewer.
Suggestions
  • Streamline the intercutting by reducing the number of location shifts or grouping similar actions together, such as combining the courtroom and auditorium sequences to improve pacing and clarity, allowing the protest flashback to build tension more effectively without abrupt cuts.
  • Refine dialogue to ensure historical and emotional authenticity; for example, replace or contextualize lines like 'Are they about to conquer Spain?' with references that ground the humor in the era, or expand Daphne's dialogue to reveal more about her internal conflict, making her a more active participant in the scene.
  • Enhance character development by giving underrepresented figures like Rennie or Dave more distinctive actions or lines that show their personal stakes, such as Rennie's reference to Tom's wishes could lead to a brief flashback or internal thought to deepen his arc and avoid him feeling like a supporting character.
  • Strengthen visual and auditory elements by integrating Ginsburg's meditation more purposefully, perhaps using it to symbolize the futility of non-violence in the face of aggression, and add sensory details like the sound of police boots or crowd murmurs to immerse the audience in the chaos and make the scene more cinematic.
  • Improve thematic cohesion by adding subtle nods to prior scenes, such as referencing the undercover agents from Scene 28 during Daphne's testimony or echoing the harassment from Scene 100 to create a stronger narrative flow, ensuring the scene feels like a natural progression in the story and reinforces the overarching message of systemic oppression.



Scene 33 - Tensions in Court and Street
110 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 110
SCHULTZ
How would you characterize the mood
of the crowd?
KUNSTLER
The witness is in no position to
characterize the mood of a thousand
strangers.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Do you have an objection?
KUNSTLER
Yes sir.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
On what grounds?

KUNSTLER
On those grounds.
And ABBIE and JERRY lead the gallery in a chorus of--
ALL
Overruled!
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I will clear this courtroom!
SCHULTZ
Mr. Wojohowski?
WOJOHOWSKI
The crowd was looking for a fight.
111 EXT. GRANT PARK - DAY 111
The DEMONSTRATORS are now faced off with the POLICE.
JERRY
(shouting)
You’re pigs! Your children are
pigs!
RENNIE
We should leave their children out
of it.
JERRY
You’re right, I know, you’re right.
112 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 112
SCOTT
“White, honkey m-f-ers, get out of
our park!” And then he said, “Look
at ‘em--
113 EXT. GRANT PARK - DAY 113
JERRY
--they don’t look so tough.
RENNIE
Well...the guns...

JERRY
(shouting)
Put down your guns, motherfuckers,
we’ll fight like fuckin’ men!
RENNIE
Just so you know, I do not have
your back on that.
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Protest"]

Summary In a chaotic courtroom scene, prosecutor Schultz questions a witness about the mood of a protest, leading to objections from defense attorney Kunstler and disruptions from Abbie and Jerry, who chant 'Overruled!' The scene alternates with a tense standoff in Grant Park, where Jerry confronts the police, taunting them while Rennie urges caution. The courtroom and protest highlight escalating tensions, with confrontational dialogue and a blend of humor and anger, culminating in Rennie's refusal to support Jerry's aggressive tactics.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Effective dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited character introspection
  • Slightly predictable escalation

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the high stakes and conflict between the characters, driving the plot forward with intense dialogue and actions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of contrasting ideologies and strategies in the face of conflict is well-developed, adding depth to the characters and advancing the central themes of the screenplay.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly through the confrontation, revealing character dynamics and setting the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on protest dynamics and legal confrontations, portraying authentic reactions and conflicts. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and add depth to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' conflicting beliefs and actions drive the scene, showcasing their individual motivations and values in a high-stakes situation.

Character Changes: 8

The characters experience internal conflicts and shifts in their beliefs during the confrontation, leading to potential growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain composure and assert their beliefs in the face of opposition. This reflects their need for justice, their fear of losing control, and their desire to make a difference.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to defend their clients and advocate for their cause effectively. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating a contentious legal and social environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the protestors and the police is intense and drives the scene, creating a sense of urgency and danger.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, power struggles, and unpredictable reactions that challenge the characters and keep the audience on edge.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face a critical moment of confrontation with the police, risking their safety and freedom for their cause.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by revealing key character dynamics and escalating the conflict, setting the stage for further plot developments.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the volatile interactions between characters, the escalating tensions in both settings, and the uncertain outcomes of the conflicts.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident between the protesters' beliefs in challenging authority and the legal system's adherence to order and rules. This challenges the protagonist's values of justice and the law.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions through its tense atmosphere and confrontational dialogue, engaging the audience in the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful, reflecting the characters' emotions and beliefs, effectively conveying the escalating tension and ideological clashes.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, conflict-driven dialogue, and dynamic shifts between the courtroom and protest, keeping the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, alternating between intense confrontations and quieter moments to create a dynamic rhythm that enhances the emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, clearly distinguishing between dialogue, actions, and scene descriptions for easy visualization.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format for a courtroom drama and protest sequence, effectively transitioning between the two settings to maintain coherence and build tension.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the courtroom and the Grant Park flashback is a strong technique that effectively builds tension and provides historical context, mirroring the documentary style of the overall script. However, it can feel disjointed if not executed with precise pacing, potentially confusing the audience about the timeline or emotional focus. In this scene, the rapid shifts might dilute the impact of key moments, such as Jerry's confrontational shouts, by not allowing enough time for the audience to absorb the gravity of the standoff.
  • The dialogue in the flashback, particularly Jerry's insults and challenges to the police, feels somewhat stereotypical and on-the-nose, lacking the nuance that could make it more engaging and true-to-life. While it captures the raw emotion of the protest, it risks coming across as caricatured, reducing the complexity of Jerry's character who is shown elsewhere as witty and strategic. This could alienate viewers who expect deeper character exploration in a historical drama.
  • Rennie's role as the voice of reason is consistent with his portrayal in earlier scenes, but his line 'Just so you know, I do not have your back on that' lacks depth and opportunity for character growth. It serves as a quick counterpoint to Jerry's aggression but doesn't explore Rennie's internal conflict or motivations, such as his fear of escalation or commitment to non-violence, which could make the interaction more compelling and tie into the film's themes of ideological differences among the defendants.
  • The courtroom segment, with the 'Overruled!' chant led by Abbie and Jerry, adds a chaotic, humorous element that highlights the absurdity of the trial, but it might undermine the seriousness of the proceedings if overemphasized. This moment risks feeling contrived or too comedic, potentially clashing with the intense stakes of the protest flashback and diluting the emotional weight of the scene's depiction of real historical violence and injustice.
  • Overall, the scene effectively escalates tension and reinforces the central conflict between protesters and authorities, but it could better integrate with the previous scene's critique by Abbie about the lack of safe spaces for protesters. As it stands, the transition feels somewhat abrupt, missing an opportunity to create a smoother narrative flow that builds on Abbie's commentary, which could strengthen the thematic continuity and make the escalation feel more organic within the broader story arc.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to add subtext and realism; for example, have Jerry's shouts include moments of hesitation or personal reflection to show his internal turmoil, making his character more relatable and less one-dimensional.
  • Improve the pacing of intercutting by adding transitional elements, such as a brief reaction shot or a sound bridge, to guide the audience more seamlessly between the courtroom and flashback, enhancing clarity and emotional impact.
  • Develop Rennie's character further by expanding his dialogue or actions to show his internal conflict, such as referencing a personal experience with police violence, which could deepen the debate with Jerry and highlight the group's divisions.
  • Balance the humorous elements in the courtroom, like the 'Overruled!' chant, with more grounded reactions from characters or the judge to maintain tonal consistency and prevent the scene from veering too far into comedy at the expense of its dramatic tension.
  • Strengthen the connection to the previous scene by incorporating a visual or verbal callback to Abbie's critique about tactical errors, such as having a character reference it in dialogue or using a motif like the 'lack of a place to go' to make the narrative flow more cohesive and emphasize the consequences of poor planning in the protests.



Scene 34 - Tensions Rise: A Call for Leadership
114 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 114
ABBIE
And the guys from Kappa Gamma
Douchebag who were hassling the
girl? They’re back.
115 EXT. GRANT PARK - DAY 115
FRAT BOYS
Put the flag down! Put it down! Put
the goddam flag down you cunt! Make
me a sandwich!
RENNIE
(to JERRY)
Just calm the crowd down.
(beat)
Help me calm ‘em down, Jerry.
DAPHNE
Baby. Defuse the situation. They’ll
listen to you.
JERRY
Huh.
DAPHNE
What?
JERRY
Nothing, that sounded nice when you
said it.
DAPHNE
Right now!
JERRY
Yeah.

116 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 116
DAPHNE
Someone from the crowd shouts--
117 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 117
ABBIE
A guy somewhere in the crowd shouts-
-
Genres: ["Drama","Comedy"]

Summary In a college auditorium, ABBIE addresses an audience about the return of the Kappa Gamma fraternity members who previously harassed a girl. The scene shifts to Grant Park, where a group of aggressive frat boys shout derogatory demands. RENNIE urges JERRY to help calm the crowd, while DAPHNE encourages him to take action. The tension escalates as the scene cuts to a courtroom where DAPHNE recounts the events, before returning to the auditorium where ABBIE notes more shouting from the crowd. The scene captures the urgency and confrontational atmosphere surrounding the conflict.
Strengths
  • Effective balance of tension and humor
  • Dynamic character interactions
  • Engaging conflict resolution dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in character motivations during the protest

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances tension and humor, showcasing the clash of ideologies and the importance of maintaining composure in volatile situations.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of contrasting confrontation with calmness adds depth to the scene, exploring themes of activism, conflict resolution, and strategic decision-making.

Plot: 8

The plot advances through the characters' interactions and decisions, setting up conflicts and resolutions that drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on managing conflict in a public setting, with authentic dialogue that adds depth to the characters' actions and motivations.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters display depth and complexity, with contrasting approaches to activism and conflict management, adding layers to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their approaches to conflict resolution, showcasing growth and adaptation in the face of escalating tensions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain control and defuse the escalating situation. This reflects their need for peace and order, as well as their fear of losing control in a volatile environment.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to prevent a potential conflict from escalating into violence. This reflects the immediate challenge of managing a volatile situation and ensuring safety.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The scene features a high level of conflict, both verbal and potential physical, adding intensity and drama to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and escalating tensions that challenge the protagonist's authority and decision-making.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of potential violence and escalation underscore the importance of strategic decision-making and maintaining control in volatile situations.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new conflicts, resolutions, and character dynamics that shape the narrative progression.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable as the audience is unsure how the conflict will be resolved, adding suspense and intrigue to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the values of peace and aggression, as well as the use of authority to control a situation. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in diplomacy and non-violence.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and frustration to moments of calmness and reflection, engaging the audience on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and conflicts, enhancing the scene's impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its high stakes, intense dialogue, and the sense of urgency in resolving the conflict, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, creating a sense of urgency and keeping the audience engaged throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for screenplay format, enhancing readability and clarity for the reader.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the escalating tension and conflict resolution, aligning with the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the college auditorium, Grant Park, and the courtroom effectively mirrors the screenplay's style of blending past and present, testimony and memory, which helps reinforce the thematic tension between historical events and their legal repercussions. However, in this specific scene, the rapid shifts can feel disjointed and abrupt, potentially confusing the audience about the timeline and emotional focus, as the cuts lack smooth transitions that could better guide viewers through the narrative layers.
  • Character interactions, particularly with Jerry, Rennie, and Daphne, highlight interpersonal dynamics amid chaos, but Jerry's casual response to Daphne's urgent plea ('Huh.' and 'Nothing, that sounded nice when you said it.') undermines the high-stakes atmosphere of the protest. This moment could benefit from more depth to show Jerry's internal conflict or growth, as it currently comes across as flippant, reducing the emotional weight of a scene that should convey rising tension and the risks involved in de-escalating a volatile situation.
  • The dialogue, especially the frat boys' repetitive and stereotypical insults ('Put the goddam flag down you cunt! Make me a sandwich!'), serves to illustrate misogyny and opposition but feels overly on-the-nose and lacking nuance. This can make the scene seem caricatured rather than authentically reflective of the era's social conflicts, potentially alienating viewers who seek more subtle or layered character portrayals, and it doesn't fully integrate with Abbie's narration in a way that adds new insights.
  • Pacing in this scene is uneven; the quick cuts between locations build energy but rush through key moments, such as Jerry's decision to act, which could be a pivotal character beat. The scene ends abruptly without resolving the shout mentioned in the courtroom and auditorium, leaving a sense of incompleteness that might frustrate readers or viewers, especially since it directly follows a high-tension moment from the previous scene where Jerry challenged the police, creating a missed opportunity to escalate or contrast that conflict.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the screenplay's exploration of protest futility and institutional resistance, with Abbie's narration providing ironic commentary that echoes the lack of safe spaces for demonstrators. However, this repetition of ideas from earlier scenes (e.g., harassment by frat boys and calls for de-escalation) risks redundancy, making the scene feel like a reiteration rather than a progression, which could dilute the overall narrative momentum in a 60-scene script where each moment should advance the story or deepen character understanding.
  • Visually, the scene relies on familiar protest imagery (shouting crowds, confrontations) but lacks innovative or specific details that could make it more memorable, such as unique camera angles or symbolic elements tying back to the trial. For instance, the auditorium setting with Abbie's performance adds a meta-layer, but it's underutilized here, as the focus shifts quickly without fully exploiting the contrast between Abbie's humorous retelling and the raw intensity of the park flashback, which might not fully engage the audience emotionally or visually.
Suggestions
  • Improve transitions between intercuts by adding brief visual or auditory cues, such as a fade or sound bridge (e.g., echoing shouts), to clarify the shifts and maintain narrative flow, helping the audience better connect the auditorium narration, park action, and courtroom testimony.
  • Enhance Jerry's character moment by adding internal monologue or subtle physical actions (e.g., a hesitant glance or clenched fist) to show his reluctance and internal debate, making his agreement to defuse the situation more impactful and tied to his arc of impulsiveness versus restraint seen in prior scenes.
  • Refine the frat boys' dialogue to be less repetitive and more contextually integrated, perhaps by incorporating specific references to the era's politics or personal motivations, to add depth and avoid stereotypes, while ensuring it ties into Abbie's narration for a cohesive thematic thread.
  • Extend the scene slightly to resolve or build on the shout mentioned at the end, linking it directly to the previous scene's challenge to the police, to create a stronger sense of continuity and escalation, ensuring each cut advances the conflict rather than just repeating it.
  • Introduce more visual variety in the protest sequences, such as close-ups on facial expressions, symbolic props (e.g., the flag as a motif), or environmental details (e.g., tear gas lingering in the air), to heighten tension and make the scene more cinematic, while varying Abbie's narration to provide fresh insights or humor that propel the story forward.
  • Focus on tightening the pacing by consolidating similar elements or cutting redundant dialogue, and consider adding a small character beat, like Rennie's reaction tying back to his earlier caution, to make the scene feel essential to the overall narrative and avoid redundancy in a long-form script.



Scene 35 - Chaos in the Courtroom and the Park
118 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 118
SCOTT
--it may have been Jerry Rubin--
KUNSTLER and WEINGLASS both jump up--
KUNSTLER
Object.
WEINGLASS
(simultaneously)
Objection.
KUNSTLER
If he doesn’t know who it was--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Sustained.
SCHULTZ
Someone in the crowd shouted what?
119 EXT. GRANT PARK - DAY 119
SOMEONE IN THE CROWD
(shouting)
Take the hill!
And suddenly a land rush breaks out. The CROWD starts
charging up a hundred-yard hill to a statue that sits atop--
heading right for the RIOT POLICE.
JERRY and RENNIE take in what’s happening and then--
RENNIE
Shit.
JERRY
Oh fuck.

JERRY and RENNIE begin running after and through the crowd--
RENNIE
(to the protestors)
Stop running!
JERRY
(to the protestors)
Stop running! Slow down!
We can HEAR an officer on a bullhorn--
POLICEMAN
There are no permits for this
demonstration! You are ordered to
leave the park immediately! There
are no permits for this
demonstration! You are ordered to
leave the park immediately!
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Protest"]

Summary In scene 35, Scott testifies in a courtroom, suggesting Jerry Rubin may have shouted something, leading to objections from defense attorneys Kunstler and Weinglass, which Judge Hoffman sustains. The scene shifts to a flashback in Grant Park, where an unidentified person shouts 'Take the hill!', causing a chaotic rush of protestors towards riot police. Jerry and Rennie, witnessing the escalation, urgently try to de-escalate the situation by urging the crowd to slow down, while a policeman orders the crowd to disperse due to lack of permits. The scene captures the tension and urgency of both the courtroom and the protest.
Strengths
  • Effective tension-building
  • Realistic portrayal of chaos
  • Strong character reactions
Weaknesses
  • Incomplete details in some parts of the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and conflict, with a strong sense of urgency and defiance. The chaotic nature of the hill rush adds depth to the plot and characters, driving the narrative forward.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around a pivotal moment of conflict and tension during a protest, effectively highlighting the characters' responses to the escalating situation.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the narrative, introducing high stakes and conflict that drive the story forward and impact the characters' development.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh approach to depicting a protest and legal confrontation, with authentic dialogue and actions that feel true to the characters and the setting. The unpredictability of the crowd's actions adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and decisions during the hill rush showcase their personalities and motivations, adding depth to their development and contributing to the overall tension of the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo subtle changes in their reactions and decisions during the hill rush, reflecting the escalating conflict and tension of the situation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain control and prevent violence in the escalating situation. This reflects their deeper need for justice, peace, and the fear of harm coming to themselves or others.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to de-escalate the protest and prevent a confrontation between the crowd and the riot police. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining order and preventing violence.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with high levels of conflict, both internal and external, as the characters face a critical moment that challenges their beliefs and actions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the escalating protest and the clash with the riot police creating a challenging situation that adds uncertainty and suspense to the narrative.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters face a dangerous confrontation with riot police, leading to a critical moment that could have significant consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a critical moment of conflict and tension that impacts the characters and sets the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden escalation of the protest, the unexpected actions of the crowd, and the uncertain outcome of the confrontation with the riot police.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between the right to protest and the maintenance of public order. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in justice, freedom of expression, and the role of authority in society.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, drawing them into the tension and chaos of the hill rush, creating a sense of urgency and defiance.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the urgency and chaos of the situation, capturing the characters' emotions and reactions in a tense and defiant manner.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, high stakes, and the conflict between the characters and the situation, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and urgency, with a balance of dialogue, action, and description that keeps the momentum of the conflict and the characters' reactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that enhances readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, transitioning smoothly between the courtroom and the protest setting, maintaining tension and pacing.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting between the courtroom testimony and the Grant Park flashback to visually reinforce the trial's reliance on historical events, creating a dynamic rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and highlights the tension between legal proceedings and the chaos of the protests. However, this technique risks feeling formulaic if overused in the script, as it may desensitize viewers to the emotional weight of the events if similar structures appear frequently in earlier scenes. Additionally, the rapid escalation from a vague testimony to a full-scale riot charge in the flashback could benefit from more subtle foreshadowing to build suspense, making the outburst feel more organic rather than abrupt.
  • Character reactions in the flashback, such as Jerry and Rennie's identical exclamations of shock ('Shit' and 'Oh fuck'), lack distinctiveness and fail to capitalize on their established personalities from prior scenes. Jerry is often portrayed as more confrontational and impulsive, while Rennie tends to be more cautious and strategic; this moment could deepen their character arcs by having Jerry impulsively join the charge before realizing the danger, contrasting with Rennie's immediate de-escalation efforts, thus emphasizing their interpersonal conflicts and making the scene more character-driven rather than event-focused.
  • The dialogue, particularly the repetitive shouts of 'Stop running!' from Jerry and Rennie, feels redundant and could be more impactful with variation to convey urgency and desperation. For instance, incorporating specific commands or pleas that reference the immediate dangers (e.g., 'You'll get trampled!' or 'The cops have gas!') would add layers to the chaos and make the characters' interventions more vivid and emotionally resonant. Furthermore, the bullhorn announcement about permits is a strong audio element that underscores the authorities' perspective, but it might be underutilized if not tied more explicitly to the thematic critique of bureaucratic obstructionism present in the overall script.
  • Thematically, the scene successfully illustrates the unintended consequences of crowd dynamics and the challenges of leadership in protest movements, aligning with the screenplay's exploration of who is responsible for violence. However, it could strengthen its connection to the broader narrative by referencing or echoing elements from the previous scene, such as the frat boy harassment, to show how smaller conflicts escalate into larger ones, thereby enhancing the sense of inevitability and critiquing societal divisions more cohesively.
  • Pacing-wise, the scene is concise and action-oriented, which suits its position mid-script, but it might rush through the emotional beats, leaving little room for the audience to absorb the gravity of the 'land rush' moment. Extending the visual description of the crowd's charge—perhaps with slow-motion or focused shots on individual faces—could heighten the stakes and evoke empathy, ensuring that this pivotal event doesn't feel like just another chaotic sequence in a series of similar ones.
Suggestions
  • Vary the dialogue in the flashback to make it more dynamic; for example, have Jerry shout 'Hold up, you're walking into a trap!' and Rennie yell 'Fall back, we need to regroup!' to differentiate their voices and add specificity to their attempts to de-escalate.
  • Enhance the intercutting by adding transitional elements, such as a close-up on Scott's face in the courtroom during his testimony to build anticipation before cutting to the flashback, or use sound bridges (e.g., the echo of the crowd's shout linking the two settings) to create smoother flow and increase dramatic tension.
  • Incorporate more sensory details in the Grant Park sequence to immerse the audience, such as describing the dust kicked up by running feet, the sound of heavy breathing, or the visual of flags waving wildly, to make the chaos more visceral and emotionally engaging.
  • Strengthen character development by having Jerry's reaction reference his earlier disagreement with Abbie about confronting antagonists, tying back to scene 34, to show character growth or consistency and reinforce the theme of internal divisions within the movement.
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or consequence at the end of the scene, such as a cut back to the courtroom with a reaction shot from the defendants or judge, to provide closure and ensure the scene advances the plot by influencing the trial's direction.



Scene 36 - Chaos in Grant Park
120 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 120
ABBIE
The street name for
chloroacetophenone is tear gas and
it’s a fuckin’ blow torch--your
lungs, your skin, your eyes...Riot
clubs? They’re made out of the same
wood they use for baseball bats.
121 EXT. GRANT PARK - DAY 121
Tear gas canisters get fired into the crowd as the POLICE
strap on gas masks. The POLICE move into the CROWD and start
swinging their clubs full force. The unlucky ones near the
gas emerge from the thick, grey dust blinded and gasping for
air. Others have blood spray from their foreheads and down
their mouths as they get struck in the face with clubs.
JERRY and RENNIE are trying to pull people away and send them
back down the hill.
We see the YOUNG WOMAN in the beret--she’s making her way
through the crowd, through the tear gas and up the hill.
Suddenly she’s tackled from behind by the three FRAT BOYS.
FRAT BOY #1
I told you to put that flag down,
go in the kitchen and make me a
fuckin’ sandwich!

They grab her as she tries to escape. She’s screaming as
she’s smacked in the face and her shirt gets torn off.
Now JERRY sees this and starts flying toward her through the
crowd.
JERRY
Hey! What are you doin?! Get the
fuck offa her! What the fuck is the
matter with you?!
JERRY pulls one guy off--
JERRY (CONT'D)
Get the fuck offa her!
FRAT BOY #2
Fuck you, hippie faggot!
And the punch that JERRY’s wanted to throw for years lands
square in the face of this guy, and just as quickly, JERRY’s
elbow breaks the nose of the guy’s buddy who’s about to help
him. The third guy goes running to avoid the tear gas that’s
just been shot into the area.
JERRY tends to the girl--
JERRY
You’re alright. You’re okay.
JERRY pulls off his shirt--
JERRY (CONT'D)
Here. You’re okay.
He takes a bandana from his pocket--
JERRY (CONT'D)
You need to hold this over your
face and I’ll get you outa here.
But now there’s the sound of a gun locking behind JERRY’s
head. He puts his hands up without turning around--
POLICEMAN
Don’t move, Jerry.
JERRY
Get those guys, they were--
JERRY turns around--three POLICEMEN in gas masks have guns on
him...

POLICEMAN
You’re under arrest.
Genres: ["Drama","Action"]

Summary In a college auditorium, Abbie passionately warns about the dangers of tear gas, setting the stage for a violent protest in Grant Park. As police unleash tear gas on protesters, chaos ensues with injuries and panic. Jerry intervenes heroically when a young woman is assaulted by frat boys, fighting them off and tending to her injuries. However, his bravery leads to his arrest by police, who ignore the real aggressors, highlighting the brutal conflict between authorities and protesters.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Realistic portrayal of conflict
Weaknesses
  • Potential for excessive violence
  • Lack of resolution in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the chaos and tension of a violent clash between protestors and police, creating a high-stakes and emotionally impactful moment.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a violent confrontation in Grant Park is compelling and effectively portrayed, highlighting the clash between protestors and authorities.

Plot: 8

The plot revolves around the escalation of conflict and the characters' responses to the violent situation, driving the narrative forward.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh take on a protest confrontation, delving into themes of violence, heroism, and social unrest. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters show bravery, defiance, and emotional depth in the face of danger, adding layers to their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo changes in their actions and emotions as they confront the violent situation, showing growth and resilience.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect the young woman from harm and ensure her safety amidst the chaos of the protest. This reflects his deeper need for justice, compassion, and standing up against injustice.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to intervene and stop the frat boys from assaulting the young woman. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of protecting someone in danger and confronting violent behavior.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is intense and physical, involving a violent clash between protestors and police, adding a sense of danger and urgency to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing physical and moral challenges from the frat boys and the police. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension and drama.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face physical danger, violence, and potential arrest in the intense confrontation with the police.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a critical moment of conflict and highlighting the consequences of activism and resistance.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden escalation of violence and the unexpected turn of events, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the clash between the protagonist's values of standing up for others and the frat boys' aggressive, misogynistic behavior. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs in justice, equality, and non-violence.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions through its depiction of violence, bravery, and the characters' reactions to the escalating conflict.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and emotions of the scene, capturing the urgency and conflict between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, intense action, and emotional resonance. The audience is drawn into the conflict and invested in the protagonist's struggle.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-crafted, with a balance of action, dialogue, and description that maintains tension and momentum. The rhythm enhances the scene's intensity and emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to industry standards, with clear scene headings, action lines, and character dialogue. It maintains a professional and engaging presentation.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a dynamic structure that builds tension effectively, leading to a climactic confrontation. The formatting aligns with the genre's expectations, enhancing the scene's impact.


Critique
  • The scene effectively escalates the chaos of the protest through vivid, sensory descriptions of tear gas and police brutality, which immerses the audience in the historical tension of the 1968 events. However, the rapid intercutting between Abbie's auditorium monologue and the Grant Park action can feel disjointed, potentially confusing viewers by shifting focus too quickly between reflective narration and intense physical conflict, which might dilute the emotional punch of the protest scenes and make Abbie's expository dialogue seem detached from the immediacy of the action.
  • Jerry's character arc is highlighted well through his heroic intervention against the frat boys, showcasing his impulsive activism and protective instincts, which aligns with his established personality. That said, the fight sequence risks coming across as overly simplistic or stereotypical, with Jerry's quick victory feeling unearned without sufficient buildup or consequences, and the assault on the young woman, while dramatic, could be perceived as gratuitous if not balanced with deeper exploration of its impact, potentially undermining the scene's thematic depth on gender and violence within the protest movement.
  • The dialogue is raw and authentic to the era, with expletives and urgent shouts adding realism and urgency, but it occasionally borders on caricature, especially in the frat boys' lines, which may reinforce negative stereotypes rather than providing nuanced conflict. Additionally, Abbie's opening lines about tear gas and riot clubs serve as effective foreshadowing but feel somewhat didactic, breaking the narrative flow by prioritizing information dump over character-driven exposition, which could alienate audiences if it doesn't integrate more seamlessly with the action.
  • Visually, the scene uses strong imagery—such as the gas masks, swinging clubs, and the woman's torn shirt—to convey the brutality and disorder, enhancing the cinematic quality and tying into the broader themes of injustice and resistance. However, the lack of varied camera perspectives or subtle details (e.g., close-ups on facial expressions or environmental reactions) might make the chaos feel overwhelming without clear focal points, reducing the audience's ability to connect emotionally with individual characters amid the frenzy.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the film's exploration of protest escalation and police overreach, with Jerry's arrest providing a direct link to the ongoing trial narrative. Yet, it misses an opportunity to deepen character relationships or show immediate repercussions, such as Rennie's reaction to Jerry's actions or how this event affects the group's dynamics, which could make the scene feel isolated rather than integral to the story's progression, especially given the context from previous scenes where de-escalation was debated.
Suggestions
  • To improve pacing, streamline the intercutting by using Abbie's narration as voice-over during key action moments in Grant Park, allowing for smoother transitions and a more cohesive blend of reflection and reality, which would heighten tension without confusing the audience.
  • Enhance the fight sequence by adding buildup, such as showing Jerry's hesitation or a quick flashback to his motivations, and extend the aftermath to include the woman's gratitude or Rennie's concern, making Jerry's heroism more nuanced and ensuring the assault is portrayed with sensitivity to avoid exploitation.
  • Refine dialogue by incorporating more varied language and subtext; for instance, have Abbie's educational lines emerge from a personal anecdote during the action, and tone down stereotypical insults from the frat boys to focus on their actions, making interactions feel more authentic and less reductive.
  • Incorporate more dynamic visuals by suggesting specific camera techniques, like handheld shots for the chaos in the park or close-ups on details like tear gas effects, to guide the audience's focus and amplify emotional impact, while ensuring the violence serves the story rather than overwhelming it.
  • Strengthen thematic ties by including a brief reaction or follow-up from other characters, such as Rennie commenting on Jerry's arrest to reference earlier de-escalation debates, which would better connect this scene to the larger narrative and emphasize character growth or group dynamics in the context of the trial.



Scene 37 - Aftermath of Protest: A Trial and a Flashback
122 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 122
There’s silence. DAPHNE is on the stand and KUNSTLER is
taking a moment before he begins his cross...
KUNSTLER
After bailing Tom Hayden out,
Abbie, Dave and Tom returned to the
park, is that correct?
CUT TO:
123 EXT. PARK - EARLY EVENING 123
TOM, ABBIE, JERRY, RENNIE and DAVE survey the scene. The
battle is long over but we can still see some tear gas and
people being treated by EMTs and put into ambulances, etc.
After a long moment...
TOM
I’ll be honest, I’m starting to
worry about getting everyone out of
Chicago alive.
ABBIE
That’s not really up to us.
TOM
Yeah it is.
ABBIE
What are you lookin’ at me for? I
went to bail you out of jail.
TOM takes a moment because he can’t believe this...
TOM
(pause)
Eight-hundred people followed you!
ABBIE
Oh that. Yeah, people follow me,
fuck if I know why?
TOM
I’m wracking my brain as well.

RENNIE
(to JERRY)
How’d you make bail so fast?
JERRY
I wasn’t arrested, I was detained.
They couldn’t figure out what to
charge me with.
DAVE
Assault.
JERRY
I was assaulting someone who was
assaulting someone.
DAPHNE
Guys. Nothing’s more dangerous than
a crowd of people who are moving.
It’s like trying to re-direct the
Mississippi River.
JERRY
Isn’t she great?
TOM
(to ABBIE)
Get your people to cool off. We’re
responsible for these people.
ABBIE
We have to protest in front of the
convention, Tommy, plain and
simple. ‘Cause that’s where the
cameras are. We have to get to the
convention. And that means we have
to leave the park. And that’s when
people’ll get hurt. As long as
every person following me knows
that, I sleep fine at night.
TOM
Well you should tell me how you do
it.
ABBIE
A lot of it’s drugs.
TOM
Yeah.
TOM points to the hill, where tear gas still hovers and
people are being bandaged or handcuffed...

TOM (CONT'D)
That’s what happened when we tried
to go up a hill. We’re not getting
anywhere near the convention.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Historical"]

Summary In scene 37, set in a courtroom during a trial, Daphne is on the witness stand as defense attorney Kunstler questions her about the events following the bail of Tom Hayden and others. The scene transitions to a flashback in a park after a violent confrontation, showcasing the chaotic aftermath with lingering tear gas and injured protesters. Tensions rise as Tom Hayden expresses concern for the safety of the group, while Abbie Hoffman insists on continuing their protest for media exposure, despite the risks involved. The dialogue is marked by a mix of seriousness and humor, highlighting the conflicts over responsibility and the dangers of activism.
Strengths
  • Effective tension-building
  • Clear character dynamics
  • High-stakes decision-making
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more impactful
  • Limited exploration of internal character conflicts

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively builds tension and conflict, showcases character dynamics, and advances the plot significantly. However, some dialogue exchanges could be more impactful and emotionally resonant.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the characters' responses to escalating conflict and the moral dilemmas they face. It effectively conveys the complexities of activism and decision-making under pressure.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly in this scene, with key decisions made and tensions heightened. The conflict escalates, setting the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on protest movements, delving into the internal struggles and external challenges faced by activists in a volatile environment. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and offer a unique take on the complexities of activism.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities and motivations are well-defined, with distinct voices and conflicting viewpoints adding depth to the scene. However, further exploration of internal conflicts could enhance character development.

Character Changes: 7

While characters face challenges and make decisions, significant internal changes are not explicitly highlighted in this scene. Further exploration of character growth could enhance the impact.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain control and leadership over the group of protesters, while also grappling with doubts and fears about their ability to keep everyone safe and achieve their objectives. This reflects their deeper need for validation, influence, and a sense of purpose.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to lead the protesters to the convention to make their voices heard, despite the risks and challenges they face in the volatile situation. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances of the protest and the need to gain visibility for their cause.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with conflict, both internal and external, as characters navigate moral dilemmas, confrontations with authorities, and the chaos of the protest environment.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, obstacles to overcome, and a sense of uncertainty about the characters' fates and the outcome of the protest. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with characters facing physical danger, moral dilemmas, and the potential for severe consequences based on their decisions and actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, decisions, and consequences that will shape future events. It sets the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between characters, the uncertain outcome of the protest, and the unexpected revelations that challenge the protagonist's plans and beliefs.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the differing approaches to activism and protest between the characters, particularly the protagonist and Abbie. Abbie's more radical and confrontational methods clash with Tom's concerns for safety and strategy, challenging his beliefs about effective protest tactics.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response through its tense atmosphere, character interactions, and high-stakes decisions. However, deeper emotional exploration could enhance the impact further.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and intentions, but some exchanges could be more impactful or nuanced to elevate the scene's emotional resonance.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, conflicting character motivations, and intense dialogue exchanges that keep the audience invested in the outcome of the protest and the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with well-timed pauses, rapid dialogue exchanges, and shifts in focus that maintain the momentum and keep the audience engaged. The rhythm contributes to the scene's effectiveness in conveying urgency and conflict.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with proper scene headings, character cues, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and flow. It aligns with the expected format for a screenplay in this genre.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the tension and urgency of the situation, with clear transitions between locations and impactful dialogue exchanges. It adheres to the expected format for a dramatic, dialogue-driven scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the ideological tensions among the characters, particularly through Tom's pragmatic concern for safety versus Abbie's flippant deflection, which mirrors the broader conflicts in the Chicago 7 story. This helps the reader understand the character dynamics and the ongoing debate about activism's responsibilities, making it a strong moment for character revelation. However, the dialogue sometimes feels overly expository, with lines like Abbie's 'people follow me, fuck if I know why?' coming across as too casual and evasive, potentially undermining the gravity of the situation post-violence. This could alienate readers or viewers by making Abbie seem cartoonishly irresponsible rather than a complex figure, and it might benefit from more nuanced introspection to deepen his arc.
  • The intercutting between the courtroom and the flashback is a recurring technique in the screenplay, and while it works to provide context and build tension, in this scene it feels somewhat abrupt and disjointed. The transition from Kunstler's question to the park setting lacks smooth visual or narrative cues, which could confuse the audience about the timeline or purpose of the flashback. Additionally, the scene's brevity (only a few lines) limits its emotional impact, making the characters' discussions feel rushed and underdeveloped, especially given the high stakes of the trial and the recent violence described in prior scenes.
  • Daphne's line about the danger of moving crowds is insightful and adds a layer of realism, highlighting her expertise as an FBI agent, but it's delivered in a way that feels somewhat forced and didactic, as if it's there to educate the audience rather than emerging naturally from the conversation. This reduces the authenticity of the interaction and makes her character appear more like a plot device than a fully fleshed-out individual. Furthermore, Jerry's quick compliment to Daphne ('Isn’t she great?') comes off as abrupt and underdeveloped, missing an opportunity to explore their relationship dynamics, which were hinted at in earlier scenes involving her infiltration.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the film's exploration of blame and responsibility in activism, with Tom's accusation toward Abbie echoing earlier conflicts, but it doesn't advance the narrative significantly within the trial context. The flashback to the park serves to reiterate past events rather than reveal new information, which could make it feel redundant to viewers familiar with the preceding scenes of violence. This repetition might dilute the tension built in the immediate previous scene, where Jerry was arrested, as the characters' discussion doesn't directly address the consequences of that event, potentially weakening the scene's role in the overall arc.
  • Visually and tonally, the scene contrasts the chaotic aftermath of the protest with the controlled environment of the courtroom, which is effective for emphasizing the characters' ongoing trauma and the trial's absurdity. However, the humor injected through Abbie's sarcasm (e.g., 'A lot of it’s drugs.') risks trivializing the serious subject matter, especially right after descriptions of injury and arrest. This tonal shift could confuse the audience or undercut the emotional weight, and while it fits Abbie's character, it might need better balancing to maintain the scene's intensity and align with the film's satirical yet poignant tone.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to make it more subtle and character-driven; for example, have Abbie's response to Tom's accusation include a hint of self-doubt or a reference to past events to add depth and make his deflection feel more earned rather than glib.
  • Improve transitions between the courtroom and flashback by adding a brief visual or auditory cue, such as a sound bridge or a reaction shot from Kunstler, to make the shift smoother and help the audience track the narrative flow more easily.
  • Develop Daphne's character further by integrating her warning about crowds more naturally into the conversation, perhaps by tying it to a personal anecdote or her undercover experience, to make her feel less like an expository tool and more integral to the group dynamics.
  • Enhance the scene's pacing by extending it slightly to allow for more emotional beats, such as a moment of silence after Tom's line about worrying about getting everyone out alive, to build tension and give the audience time to absorb the gravity of the situation.
  • Strengthen the connection to the broader narrative by ensuring the flashback reveals a new insight or escalates the conflict; for instance, have a character reference the arrest from the previous scene to create a direct link, or use the discussion to foreshadow upcoming events in the trial, making the scene more integral to the story's progression.



Scene 38 - Courtroom Confrontation
124 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 124
DAPHNE still on the stand.
KUNSTLER
Special Agent O’Connor, you
testified that Jerry Rubin said,
“Fuck ‘em all. They’re all pigs. We
should form an army and get guns.”
DAPHNE
Yes.
KUNSTLER
And when he said that, did anyone
form an army and get guns?
DAPHNE
No.
KUNSTLER
Did Jerry Rubin instruct the crowd
to run into the park?
DAPHNE
No.
KUNSTLER
Did Rennie Davis?
DAPHNE
No.
KUNSTLER
Was Abbie Hoffman even there?
DAPHNE
No.
KUNSTLER
Was Dave Dellinger?
DAPHNE
No.

KUNSTLER
Was John Froines there?
DAPHNE
No.
KUNSTLER
Lee Weiner?
DAPHNE
No, he wasn’t there.
KUNSTLER
And you’ve testified that Jerry and
Rennie--can you say it for me
again?
DAPHNE
Mr. Kunstler--
KUNSTLER
They were trying to turn people
around and send them back down the
hill. Just like you told them to.
DAPHNE
Mr. Kunstler, the demonstrators
attacked the police and the police
responded.
KUNSTLER
Are any of the demonstrators you
saw attacking the police sitting at
the defense table?
DAPHNE
No sir.
KUNSTLER
Thank you.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
The Court will stand--
BOBBY
I wasn’t there either.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Seale--
BOBBY
I wasn’t there at all and I should
be allowed to cross-examine this--

JUDGE HOFFMAN
We’ll stand in recess until--
FRED HAMPTON stands up and addresses the whole room--
FRED
Four hours. That’s how long Bobby
Seale--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Marshals.
FRED
--was in Chicago. Four hours.
The DEFENDANTS APPLAUD and bang the table--all but TOM who’s
poker-faced but hating this. RENNIE sees that TOM isn’t
cheering and he slows and stops as we
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Court stands in recess for the
weekend.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Political Drama"]

Summary In a tense courtroom scene, defense attorney Kunstler cross-examines Special Agent Daphne, challenging her claims about demonstrators' violence and the absence of the defendants during the events. Despite Daphne's insistence on the demonstrators' aggression, Kunstler highlights the defendants' attempts to de-escalate the situation. Bobby Seale interrupts to assert his innocence, prompting support from Fred Hampton, which creates a stir among the defendants. The scene concludes with Judge Hoffman adjourning the court for the weekend amidst the disruption.
Strengths
  • Intense courtroom drama
  • Effective dialogue
  • Strategic witness testimonies
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Lack of character arcs

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the intensity of a courtroom trial with strong dialogue and conflicting testimonies. It keeps the audience engaged with the back-and-forth exchanges and the revelation of contrasting perspectives.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around witness testimonies in a trial setting, showcasing the clash of perspectives and the attempt to uncover the truth. It effectively conveys the legal and political themes of the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the courtroom trial and the testimonies provided by the witness. It advances the narrative by revealing crucial information and adding layers to the characters' motivations and actions.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on historical events, blending factual references with fictionalized dialogue to create an authentic portrayal of the era. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and contribute to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, especially Daphne and the defense attorney Kunstler, are well-developed through their interactions and testimonies. Their roles in the trial are clearly defined and add depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the testimonies and interactions reveal more about the characters' beliefs, motivations, and roles in the trial.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to defend their actions and beliefs against the accusations and skepticism of the court. This reflects their need for justice, validation of their cause, and the fear of being misunderstood or misrepresented.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to prove their innocence and the righteousness of their actions in the face of legal scrutiny and public perception.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene arises from the differing testimonies and perspectives presented by the witnesses, creating a sense of tension and uncertainty in the trial proceedings.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenging questions and skepticism from the court, creating uncertainty about the outcome and adding to the scene's tension.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high in the scene as the testimonies could impact the outcome of the trial and the fate of the characters involved.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by providing crucial information through the witness testimonies and advancing the trial proceedings, setting the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it challenges the audience's expectations of how the legal proceedings will unfold, introducing unexpected revelations and character dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict lies in the clash between the establishment's view of law and order versus the counterculture's belief in social change and activism. This challenges the protagonist's values of freedom of expression and resistance against perceived injustices.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The emotional impact of the scene is moderate, focusing more on the intellectual and strategic aspects of the trial rather than evoking strong emotional responses.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, impactful, and drives the conflict between the characters. It effectively conveys the legal arguments and the tension within the courtroom.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense dialogue exchanges, the high stakes of the courtroom setting, and the conflict between characters that keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a rhythmic flow of dialogue exchanges and strategic pauses that enhance the dramatic impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the conventions of a screenplay, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a courtroom drama, with clear character interactions, escalating tension, and a dramatic conclusion that sets up future developments.


Critique
  • This scene effectively captures the ongoing tension and strategic maneuvering in the courtroom, particularly through Kunstler's cross-examination of Daphne, which reinforces the defense's narrative that the defendants were not instigators of violence but rather advocates for de-escalation. It highlights key themes of the screenplay, such as the injustice of the trial and the internal divisions among the defendants, exemplified by Tom's poker-faced response to the applause for Bobby Seale. However, the repetitive nature of Kunstler's questioning—focusing on who was or wasn't present and what actions were taken—may feel formulaic if similar exchanges have occurred in prior scenes, potentially reducing dramatic impact and making the dialogue less engaging for the audience.
  • The introduction of Bobby Seale's interruption and Fred Hampton's declarative statement adds a layer of historical and emotional weight, emphasizing Seale's marginalization in the trial and the racial undertones of the conflict. This moment showcases the chaotic atmosphere of the courtroom, which is a strength in maintaining the screenplay's tone of unrest. That said, the transition into this disruption feels somewhat abrupt, lacking sufficient buildup or contextual cues from earlier scenes, which could make it less impactful for viewers unfamiliar with the full context. Additionally, while Tom's lack of applause is a subtle and effective character beat that reveals his internal conflict and pragmatism, it might benefit from more explicit motivation or visual cues to ensure it's clear and resonant without relying on Rennie's reaction alone.
  • Overall, the scene serves as a microcosm of the larger narrative, illustrating the prosecution's shaky evidence and the defense's efforts to expose police aggression, but it could be more cinematically dynamic. The dialogue, while functional, occasionally borders on expository, such as Daphne's reiteration of de-escalation efforts, which might come across as heavy-handed rather than natural testimony. The ending, with the judge adjourning court amid applause and tension, provides a natural pause but lacks a strong emotional or visual anchor to leave a lasting impression, potentially missing an opportunity to heighten the stakes or foreshadow upcoming events in the trial.
Suggestions
  • Vary the rhythm of Kunstler's cross-examination by incorporating unexpected elements, such as a sudden objection from the prosecution or a emotional outburst from a defendant, to prevent the dialogue from feeling repetitive and to maintain audience engagement.
  • Add a brief flashback or subtle reference during Bobby Seale's interruption to remind the audience of his limited involvement in the Chicago events, drawing from earlier scenes to make his demand for cross-examination feel more justified and integrated into the narrative flow.
  • Enhance Tom's character moment by including more nuanced physical actions or internal thoughts (via voice-over or close-ups) to clearly convey his reluctance to applaud, strengthening the portrayal of divisions among the defendants and adding depth to his pragmatic approach.
  • Strengthen the scene's conclusion by ending on a more visually striking image, such as a close-up of the judge's gavel or a reaction shot from a key character, to create a stronger hook and better transition to the recess or the next scene.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it more concise and period-authentic, reducing any expository elements and ensuring that exchanges, like those between Kunstler and Daphne, feel like natural courtroom testimony rather than scripted summaries of events.



Scene 39 - Tensions at the Museum
125 EXT./EST. NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM - DAY 125
It’s a Saturday during the Christmas season and families are
going into and coming out of the museum.
126 EXT. PARK BENCH - DAY 126
It’s a crisp, Christmastime afternoon. A couple of trumpets,
a trombone and a baritone horn are playing “O Holy Night” a
distance away as ABBIE and JERRY sit on a bench.
JERRY
I took in the exhibit. I cleared my
mind. I stood there for twenty
minutes and I felt nothing.
ABBIE
Well...but it wasn’t a painting, it
was an exhibit. It was a natural
history museum.

JERRY
And when you put exhibits of Native
Indian families in a natural
history museum alongside dioramas
of early man and the Jurassic age,
it gives the impression that the
Cherokee evolved into modern day
Europeans.
ABBIE
Hey, look who it is!
SCHULTZ and his two young daughters, 6 and 4, are coming down
the path.
ABBIE (CONT'D)
Should we say hi?
JERRY
I’ve got a bone to pick with that
guy.
SCHULTZ, getting closer, sees ABBIE and JERRY.
ABBIE
Hey counselor!
SCHULTZ
No colleges this weekend?
ABBIE
Winter break. My audiences went
home to their parents. Are these
ladies related to you?
SCHULTZ
These are my daughters Julie and
Emily.
ABBIE
(to the girls)
Your dad’s a good guy. And that’s
coming from someone who he’s been
trying hard to put in federal
prison.
SCHULTZ
We shouldn’t be talking without
your lawyer here.
ABBIE
Nah, we’re all on the same team.

SCHULTZ
In one sense I guess, but in a much
truer sense we’re not.
(SCHULTZ takes a couple of
dollars out of his
pocket)
Girls, take this dollar over to the
musicians and put it in their hat.
Then take this dollar and buy some
of those candy-covered peanuts mom
won’t let you have.
The girls run excitedly to where they were told.
ABBIE
Sweet kids.
SCHULTZ
‘Cause if your lawyers were here
I’d feel comfortable telling you
that the window’s closing for you
to plead out.
JERRY
Oh we’re not takin’ a fuckin’ deal,
would you stop? And I wish I could
share Abbie’s sentiment that you’re
a good guy, but I’m afraid I can’t.
SCHULTZ
I’m sorry to hear that.
JERRY
Sending Daphne O'Connor to break my
heart was way outa line.
SCHULTZ
Well I don’t work for the FBI but
Special Agent O'Connor was one of
many agents sent to gather
intelligence on what had been
deemed a credible domestic threat.
JERRY
Fine, then you bug our phones, you
wire up a dope dealer, be a man.
You don’t send a woman to ensorcell
me--it means “enchanting”--only to
have her crush my soul.
SCHULTZ
How long did you two know each
other?

JERRY
Ninety-three hours. It could have
been a lifetime.
SCHULTZ
For a fruit fly. Enjoy the weekend.
JERRY
Is that even ethical? Aren’t there
ethics rules?
SCHULTZ
Did she engage with you sexually?
JERRY
(pause)
We were taking it slow.
ABBIE
He’s gonna be alright.
JERRY
One egg is un oeuf? They teach her
that at the Academy?!
SCHULTZ
Yep.
ABBIE
We just wanted to say that we don’t
have any beef with you. We know
you’re doing your job and we know
you don’t think we’re criminals.
SCHULTZ
I’m not sure where you’re getting
that information but I represent
the People without passion or
prejudice.
ABBIE
You think we were responsible?
SCHULTZ
I think you got the result you were
looking for.
ABBIE
So did Nixon.
SCHULTZ
How ‘bout that. See you Monday.

SCHULTZ walks away toward his daughters. JERRY calls after
him--
JERRY
(calling)
Does she ever mention me?
SCHULTZ, with his back still turned, just shrugs, and we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Dialogue-driven"]

Summary On a crisp Christmas afternoon outside the Natural History Museum, Abbie and Jerry sit on a park bench, discussing Jerry's disappointment with a museum exhibit that he feels misrepresents Native American cultures. Their conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Schultz and his young daughters. Despite Jerry's reluctance to engage due to a personal grudge, they greet Schultz, who warns Abbie about a plea deal in their legal case. Jerry confronts Schultz about his tactics involving FBI agent Daphne O'Connor, leading to a tense exchange where Schultz defends his actions as professional. Abbie attempts to mediate, but the conflict remains unresolved as Schultz walks away, leaving Jerry frustrated.
Strengths
  • Authentic dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Tension building
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Lack of resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and defiance between the characters while also providing moments of reflection and sarcasm, creating a multi-layered interaction that keeps the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around a chance encounter between adversaries in a casual setting, exploring themes of conflict, ethics, and personal dynamics.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene revolves around the verbal sparring between the characters, revealing their conflicting perspectives and adding depth to their relationships.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh perspectives on law enforcement tactics, personal integrity, and justice, offering a nuanced portrayal of characters' motivations and actions. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, contributing to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations that drive the dialogue and interactions, showcasing their complexities and relationships.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interaction between the characters reveals more about their personalities and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

Jerry's internal goal in this scene is to express his disillusionment and frustration with the situation he's in, particularly regarding his feelings towards Special Agent O'Connor and the legal proceedings. His dialogue reveals his emotional turmoil and desire for justice.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the conversation with Schultz, maintain his stance on the legal matter, and express his feelings towards the situation. Jerry aims to assert his position and feelings despite the circumstances.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is palpable, stemming from the characters' opposing viewpoints and personal histories, creating a tense atmosphere.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and motivations creating tension and uncertainty. Jerry's confrontation with Schultz adds depth to the scene and keeps the audience engaged.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high in the scene, as the characters navigate personal and professional boundaries, hinting at potential consequences for their actions and decisions.

Story Forward: 7

The scene contributes to character development and relationship dynamics, providing insights into the ongoing narrative and setting up potential future conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in character interactions and revelations. The audience is kept on edge by the shifting dynamics and conflicting motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethics of law enforcement tactics, personal integrity, and the pursuit of justice. Jerry questions the methods used by law enforcement and expresses his moral stance on the situation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and defiance to moments of reflection and sarcasm, engaging the audience on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is a key element in the scene, driving the conflict and revealing the characters' emotions, intentions, and underlying tensions effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the dynamic dialogue, moral conflicts, and character interactions that keep the audience invested in the unfolding drama. The tension and humor contribute to the scene's overall engagement.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and drama, allowing for moments of reflection and humor to enhance the overall impact. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions contributes to the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to expected formatting standards for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure, with clear character interactions and dialogue progression. The pacing and formatting align with the genre expectations, enhancing the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • This scene effectively serves as a palate cleanser amidst the high-tension courtroom drama, offering a moment of levity and character depth that contrasts the formal trial settings. By placing Abbie and Jerry in a casual, everyday environment like a park bench during Christmas, it humanizes them and provides insight into their personalities—Abbie's quick wit and humor shine through, while Jerry's vulnerability and anger add layers to his character. This interaction with Schultz outside the courtroom blurs the lines between adversaries, showing that personal lives intersect with professional roles, which can make the characters more relatable and the conflict more nuanced. However, the scene risks feeling disconnected from the main narrative arc if not tightly integrated; the plea deal mention is a good plot point, but it could be more emotionally charged to heighten stakes. Additionally, Jerry's rant about Daphne O'Connor, while revealing his emotional state, might confuse audiences without strong recall of earlier scenes, potentially weakening the scene's impact if the reference isn't clear. The dialogue is generally sharp and period-authentic, but some exchanges, like the pun about 'un oeuf,' feel forced and could distract from the scene's core tension. Visually, the Christmas setting with families and holiday music is a strong choice for irony, emphasizing themes of peace and normalcy against the backdrop of social upheaval, but it might be underutilized if not tied more explicitly to the characters' internal conflicts. Overall, while the scene builds character relationships and advances the plot subtly, it could benefit from tighter pacing to avoid meandering, ensuring that every moment contributes to the larger story of activism and justice.
  • The character dynamics are well-portrayed, with Abbie's charm and deflection contrasting Jerry's raw emotion and Schultz's stoic professionalism, creating a mini-conflict that mirrors the trial's broader themes. This interaction humanizes Schultz, showing him as a family man, which could evoke sympathy or complexity in the audience, but it might come across as too conciliatory if it softens his role as an antagonist too much. The scene's strength lies in its authenticity to the historical figures—Abbie as the jester of the group and Jerry as the passionate fighter—but it occasionally veers into caricature, such as Jerry's over-the-top reaction to Daphne, which might not fully capture the gravity of his experiences. Thematically, it touches on the personal toll of political activism and the ethical gray areas of law enforcement, but these elements are not explored deeply enough, leaving the scene feeling somewhat surface-level. Pacing-wise, the scene starts strong with light-hearted banter but drags in the middle with Jerry's extended grievance, which could dilute the tension. Ending with Jerry's unanswered call after Schultz is poignant, highlighting isolation and unresolved emotions, but it might need a stronger visual or emotional beat to linger with the audience. In the context of the overall script, this scene is well-placed to provide relief, but it should ensure that the humor doesn't undermine the seriousness of the trial's consequences, maintaining a balance that keeps viewers engaged without trivializing the stakes.
  • From a screenwriting perspective, the scene's structure is effective in using contrast—between the festive atmosphere and the underlying conflict—to underscore the characters' alienation from society. The dialogue reveals character motivations and backstories naturally in parts, like Jerry's heartbreak over Daphne, but some lines feel expository, such as Abbie's comment about not having beef with Schultz, which could be shown through actions rather than told. Visually, the setting is vivid and cinematic, with the musicians playing 'O Holy Night' adding an ironic layer that could symbolize the characters' lost innocence or the hypocrisy of societal norms, but this symbolism might be lost if not reinforced. The scene's length and content fit within the mid-point of the script, allowing for character development, but it could be more concise to maintain momentum, especially since the previous scenes involve high-action flashbacks and courtroom drama. Critically, the interaction advances the plot by reinforcing the plea deal option, which could build suspense for future scenes, but it doesn't fully capitalize on the opportunity to deepen the audience's understanding of the characters' psyches or the moral ambiguities of the era. Overall, while the scene is engaging and well-written, it could strengthen its emotional core by focusing more on internal conflicts and less on comedic asides, ensuring it contributes meaningfully to the narrative arc of justice, activism, and personal sacrifice.
Suggestions
  • Tighten the dialogue by cutting redundant lines, such as the extended pun about 'un oeuf,' to keep the focus on the core conflict and improve pacing, making the scene more dynamic and engaging.
  • Add more visual storytelling elements, like close-ups on facial expressions or body language during tense moments (e.g., Jerry's frustration or Schultz's discomfort), to convey emotions without relying solely on dialogue, enhancing the scene's cinematic quality.
  • Integrate the plea deal warning more dramatically by having Schultz deliver it with greater urgency or personal stakes, perhaps referencing specific consequences from the trial, to heighten tension and make the audience feel the pressure on the characters.
  • Deepen character development by including a subtle reference to Jerry's past experiences with Daphne earlier in the script or through a brief flashback here, ensuring that his emotional outburst feels earned and not abrupt for viewers.
  • Enhance thematic ties by using the Christmas setting more symbolically, such as contrasting the peaceful holiday music with the characters' inner turmoil, to reinforce the script's exploration of societal discord and personal loss without adding exposition.
  • Consider rebalancing the humor and seriousness; for instance, tone down Abbie's light-hearted deflections to allow more weight to Jerry's vulnerability, ensuring the scene doesn't undermine the overall gravity of the trial narrative.
  • End the scene with a stronger emotional beat, such as a lingering shot of Jerry's face after Schultz walks away, to emphasize isolation and foreshadow future conflicts, making the transition to the next scene more impactful.



Scene 40 - A Night of Urgency and Grief
A151 EXT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT A151
All the lights are off. We HEAR a phone ringing...
B151 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT B151
BERNADINE’s sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor. TOM’s
asleep on a couch in sweatpants and a t-shirt. The ringing
continues and TOM wakes up in a start. It takes him a moment
to realize the phone’s ringing and he looks at it from across
the room as BERNADINE answers it.
BERNADINE
(into phone)
Conspiracy Office.
TOM watches as BERNADINE listens...
BERNADINE (CONT'D)
(to TOM)
It’s Bill. Something’s happened,
Tom.
TOM stands there a moment before we
CUT TO:
151 INT. COOK COUNTY JAIL - VISITING ROOM - MORNING 151
TOM and KUNSTLER are waiting in the empty room before a GUARD
opens the door and BOBBY SEALE steps in in prison coveralls.
The door closes with the clang.

KUNSTLER
Bobby, Fred Hampton was shot and
killed last night. There was a
police raid and there was a
shootout and he’s dead.
BOBBY doesn’t say anything...
KUNSTLER (CONT'D)
(consulting notes)
It happened between the hours of
4am and--
BOBBY
I know.
KUNSTLER
You were told?
BOBBY
Yeah.
KUNSTLER
I’m sorry.
BOBBY
(pause)
The seven of you, you’ve all got
the same father, right?
(to TOM)
I’m talking to you. You’ve all got
the same father, right? Cut your
hair, don’t be a fag, respect
authority, respect America, respect
me. Your life, it’s fuck you to
your father, right? A little?
TOM
(beat)
Maybe.
BOBBY
Maybe. And you can see how that’s
different from a rope on a tree?
TOM
Yeah.
BOBBY
Yeah. He was shot in the wrist
first. You can’t hold a gun if
you’ve been shot in the wrist. You
can’t pull a trigger. The second
shot was in the head.
(MORE)

BOBBY (CONT'D)
Fred was executed.
(pause)
Anything else?
KUNSTLER
(pause)
No.
Genres: ["Drama","Crime"]

Summary The scene opens at the Conspiracy Office at night, where Tom and Bernadine are asleep. A ringing phone awakens them, and Bernadine answers, revealing urgent news. The setting shifts to the Cook County Jail the next morning, where Tom and Kunstler await Bobby Seale's arrival. Bobby enters, already aware of the tragic news that Fred Hampton has been killed in a police raid. He shares graphic details of the execution and engages Tom in a tense discussion about racial oppression and authority, highlighting their differing experiences. The scene concludes with an unresolved tension as Bobby questions Tom about their shared societal struggles.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character exploration
  • Dialogue impact
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally charged, revealing deep-seated beliefs and societal issues through a tragic event. The dialogue is impactful and thought-provoking, creating a somber and reflective atmosphere.


Story Content

Concept: 9.1

The concept of exploring personal beliefs, societal issues, and the impact of tragic news is compelling. The scene delves into complex themes with depth and authenticity.

Plot: 9

The plot progression in the scene is focused on the characters' reactions to the news of Fred Hampton's death, leading to introspective conversations and revealing insights into their perspectives.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on themes of authority, rebellion, and justice, presenting complex characters with conflicting motivations and beliefs. The dialogue feels authentic and thought-provoking, adding originality to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.4

The characters' depth and emotional range shine in this scene, showcasing their individual responses to the tragic event. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and personal convictions.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo emotional shifts and introspection in response to the tragic news, revealing new facets of their personalities and beliefs.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with the news of Fred Hampton's death and navigate his conflicting emotions and beliefs about authority, respect, and rebellion.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to understand the circumstances surrounding Fred Hampton's death and potentially uncover any hidden truths or motives behind it.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.8

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, stemming from the characters' differing perspectives and reactions to the tragic news. It adds depth to the narrative and character dynamics.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bobby Seale challenging Tom's beliefs and forcing him to confront uncomfortable truths, creating tension and uncertainty for the audience.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are emotional and moral, as the characters grapple with the loss of Fred Hampton and confront their own beliefs and convictions in the face of tragedy.

Story Forward: 9

The scene deepens the emotional and thematic layers of the story, providing crucial insights into the characters' motivations and beliefs while setting the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected revelations about Fred Hampton's death, the moral dilemmas faced by the characters, and the tension in their interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the clash between authority and rebellion, respect and defiance, as embodied by Bobby Seale's questioning of Tom's beliefs and actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, delving into themes of loss, injustice, and personal convictions with raw authenticity.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue is poignant and impactful, driving the emotional depth of the scene. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions, beliefs, and conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense dialogue, emotional depth, and the unfolding mystery surrounding Fred Hampton's death, keeping the audience invested in the characters' journey.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds suspense and emotional intensity, drawing the audience into the characters' internal struggles and external conflicts.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard screenplay format, making it easy to follow and visualize the unfolding events.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a well-paced structure that effectively builds tension and reveals key information, aligning with the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • This scene effectively captures a moment of historical gravity by depicting the immediate aftermath of Fred Hampton's assassination, which serves as a poignant reminder of the real-world dangers faced by activists during this era. The dialogue between Bobby Seale and Tom Hayden, particularly Bobby's metaphor of the 'father' figure, underscores the racial divides and differing motivations among the defendants, adding depth to character development and thematic resonance. It highlights how the trial is not just about legal proceedings but also about broader social injustices, making it a strong emotional pivot in the narrative. However, the scene feels somewhat abrupt in its pacing, with the quick cut from the conspiracy office to the jail visit potentially diminishing the buildup of tension and anticipation that could heighten the impact of the news. Additionally, Bernadine's role is underutilized; she serves merely as a conduit for information, which misses an opportunity to explore her character or show her emotional response, making her presence feel functional rather than integral. The scene's brevity might also leave some viewers disconnected if they're not familiar with the historical context of Fred Hampton's death, as it assumes prior knowledge without providing subtle reminders or visual cues to ground the audience. Overall, while the scene succeeds in conveying grief and ideological conflict, it could benefit from more nuanced emotional layering to fully integrate it with the surrounding scenes, ensuring it doesn't feel like an isolated insert but a seamless part of the larger story arc.
  • The dialogue in this scene is generally strong in its authenticity and emotional weight, with Bobby's lines about being shot in the wrist and head delivering a raw, personal account that humanizes the historical event and contrasts sharply with the more intellectual debates in earlier scenes. This approach helps the reader (or viewer) understand the personal stakes for Bobby, emphasizing how the trial intersects with real violence and oppression. However, some exchanges, like Kunstler's initial delivery of the news, come across as somewhat clinical and expository, which might reduce the scene's immediacy and emotional punch. For instance, Kunstler's line about the time of the raid feels procedural and could be streamlined to allow more space for reactions. Furthermore, Tom's minimal response ('Maybe') to Bobby's question about their shared 'father' is effective in showing his introspection, but it might benefit from additional context or a beat of silence to let the audience absorb the racial commentary, ensuring it resonates without feeling overly didactic. The scene's strength lies in its ability to bridge the personal and political, but it risks oversimplifying complex emotions in favor of direct confrontation, which could be expanded to show more internal conflict or physical reactions to deepen character understanding.
  • In terms of visual and narrative flow, the scene uses simple, effective staging—the dark, quiet office contrasting with the stark jail environment—to create a sense of isolation and urgency, which aligns well with the script's overall tone of chaos and reflection. This visual contrast helps the reader visualize the transition from the intimacy of the conspiracy office to the cold formality of the jail, reinforcing themes of confinement and loss. However, the scene's reliance on dialogue to carry the emotional weight might limit its cinematic potential; for example, the phone ringing in the dark could be more atmospheric with added sound design or visual details, like Tom's disoriented awakening, to build suspense before the cut. Critically, this scene fits into the larger script as a turning point that escalates the personal costs of activism, but it could better connect to the immediate previous scene (the park confrontation with Schultz) by carrying over a thread of unresolved tension or paranoia, making the 'something's happened' revelation feel more earned. Overall, while the scene is thematically rich and historically accurate, it could be refined to enhance emotional accessibility and pacing, ensuring it doesn't feel like a standalone historical footnote but a vital emotional beat in the characters' journeys.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the opening sequence in the conspiracy office by adding more sensory details, such as Tom's groggy confusion or Bernadine's half-asleep reaction, to build tension and make the transition to the jail visit more gradual and impactful.
  • Expand Bernadine's role slightly by having her react emotionally to the news or share a brief line about the implications, which would give her more agency and deepen the sense of community among the activists.
  • Refine the dialogue to include more pauses or non-verbal cues (e.g., Bobby's body language when recounting the shooting) to allow the emotional weight to sink in, making the scene less expository and more immersive for the audience.
  • Incorporate a subtle visual or auditory flashback to Fred Hampton or a related event when Bobby describes the execution, to provide context for viewers less familiar with history and to heighten the scene's dramatic intensity without overloading the dialogue.
  • Strengthen the connection to the previous scene by having Tom reference the Schultz encounter in his thoughts or dialogue, creating a smoother narrative flow and emphasizing the ongoing theme of government overreach and personal vendettas.



Scene 41 - Courtroom Confrontation: The Struggle for Voice
152 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 152
DETECTIVE FRAPOLY’s on the stand. BOBBY’s all but dead behind
his eyes.
TITLE:
Trial Day 90
SCHULTZ
Detective, calling your attention
to the evening of the next day,
Tuesday, August 27th, were you in
Grant Park on that day?
FRAPOLY
Yes. There was a “Free Huey Newton”
rally going on.
SCHULTZ
Did you recognize any of the
speakers?
FRAPOLY
I heard Jerry Rubin give a speech.
Phil Ochs sang and then Bobby Seale
gave a speech.
BOBBY speaks lifelessly, almost by rote--
BOBBY
I object to this man’s testimony
against me because I’ve been denied
counsel.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
We understand.
SCHULTZ
Do you recall anything from Mr.
Seale’s speech?
FRAPOLY
Yes. He said--

BOBBY
I object to this man’s--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Quiet.
SCHULTZ
Go ahead.
FRAPOLY
May I refer to notes?
SCHULTZ
Yes sir.
FRAPOLY
He said, “We must understand that
as we go forth to try to move the
reprobate politicians--
BOBBY
Your Honor--
FRAPOLY
“--our cowardly Congress, the jive,
double-lip talkin’ Nixon--”
BOBBY
Jive double-lip talkin’ Nixon? You
make me sound like one funky cat,
thank you sir.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Last warning, Mr. Seale.
SCHULTZ
Did he say anything else?
FRAPOLY
He said, “The revolution at this
time is directly connected to
organized guns and force.”
SCHULTZ
No more questions.
BOBBY shakes his head to himself, then says simply and calmly-
-
BOBBY
A jive, double-lip talkin’, funky,
funky cat.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
Would the defense like to cross-
examine the witness?
BOBBY
Yes. I’m sitting here saying that I
would like to cross--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Only lawyers can address a wit--
BOBBY
My lawyer is Charles Garry.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I’m tired of hearing that.
BOBBY
I couldn’t care less what you’re
tired of.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
What did you say?
BOBBY
I said it would be impossible for
me to care any less what you’re
tired of and I demand to cross-
examine this--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Sit in your chair and be quiet and
don’t ever address the Court in
that--
BOBBY turns to the GALLERY--
BOBBY
(to the crowd)
It was premeditated murder. Fred
Hampton was assassinated last
night.
The GALLERY gasps--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Marshals, put Mr. Seale in his
seat.
BOBBY keeps talking as a few MARSHALS come to deal with him--
BOBBY
He wouldn’t have been able to hold
a gun in his right hand.
(MORE)

BOBBY (CONT'D)
When they publish the coroner’s
report, make sure you ask about the
bullet wound in his wrist.
The MARSHAL’s have put BOBBY in his seat.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I strongly caution you, Mr. Seale,
I strongly caution you that--
BOBBY
Oh strongly fuck yourself.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Marshals, take that defendant into
a room and deal with him as he
should be dealt with.
The MARSHALS grab at BOBBY and lift him out of his seat.
153 INT. HOLDING CELL - DAY 153
The door opens and BOBBY’s thrown into the room. The door
slams behind him.
154 INT. COURTROOM - SAME TIME 154
Tense silence as everyone waits.
155 INT. HOLDING CELL - SAME TIME 155
We see quick, very tight shards of BOBBY being put in
restraints. His wrists, his ankles--
A156 INT. COURTROOM - SAME TIME A156
ABBIE and JERRY are staring casual bullets at JUDGE
HOFFMAN...
RENNIE’s scratching out a note.
INSERT: The notes reads--”Don’t stand for JH”.
RENNIE shows the note to TOM, who glances at it and
reluctantly nods “okay”. RENNIE passes the note to DAVE, who
looks at it and passes it to JERRY--

B156 INT. HOLDING CELL - SAME TIME B156
A balled up rag is stuffed in BOBBY’s mouth. Another piece of
cloth starts to be tied around his face--
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In a tense courtroom scene on Trial Day 90, Detective Frapoly testifies about a 'Free Huey Newton' rally, recounting Bobby Seale's provocative speech. Seale, present and visibly defeated, repeatedly objects to the testimony, demanding counsel and cross-examination, leading to confrontations with Judge Hoffman and Prosecutor Schultz. As Seale defiantly addresses the audience about Fred Hampton's assassination, he is forcibly removed and restrained in a holding cell, gagged and bound. Meanwhile, the other defendants express their solidarity through subtle note-passing, highlighting the ongoing tension and injustice in the courtroom.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Compelling dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Potential for excessive confrontation
  • Lack of resolution in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is intense and emotionally charged, effectively portraying Seale's struggle for representation and the impact of Hampton's death. The dialogue and character dynamics create a compelling narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9.1

The concept of legal drama and personal struggle is effectively portrayed, drawing the audience into Seale's fight for justice and the broader themes of the trial.

Plot: 9.2

The plot advances significantly with Seale's confrontation in court and the revelation of Hampton's death, adding layers of complexity and emotion to the narrative.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on courtroom drama by blending political activism with legal proceedings. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and reflect the turbulent social climate of the time.


Character Development

Characters: 9.4

The characters, especially Bobby Seale, are well-developed and portrayed with depth. Seale's defiance and emotional turmoil are central to the scene, driving the conflict and engaging the audience.

Character Changes: 9

Bobby Seale undergoes a significant emotional journey in the scene, from defiance and frustration to grief and anger. His character arc is central to the narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert his rights and challenge the authority figures in the courtroom. This reflects his need for justice, autonomy, and dignity in the face of oppression and injustice.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to defend himself and make a statement about the injustice he perceives. This reflects his immediate challenge of navigating a biased legal system and asserting his voice.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.3

The conflict is high, both in terms of the legal battle Seale faces and the emotional turmoil surrounding Hampton's death. The tension between Seale and the judge adds depth to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing resistance from the court and authority figures, creating a sense of conflict and uncertainty for the audience.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high, with Seale facing a critical moment in the trial and the emotional weight of Hampton's death adding urgency and tension to the proceedings.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about Seale's situation and the impact of Hampton's death. It sets the stage for further developments in the trial.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable as the protagonist's actions challenge the expected norms of a courtroom setting, creating tension and uncertainty for the audience.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the clash between individual rights and institutional authority. The protagonist challenges the court's power and demands justice, highlighting the tension between personal autonomy and legal constraints.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a significant emotional impact, evoking feelings of anger, defiance, and sadness. The portrayal of Seale's struggle and the news of Hampton's death heighten the emotional intensity.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, reflecting the characters' emotions and motivations. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict within the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its high stakes, intense dialogue, and the protagonist's defiance against authority, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and emphasizing the emotional intensity of the characters' interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a courtroom scene, enhancing clarity and readability for the audience.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format typical of courtroom dramas, effectively building tension and conflict through dialogue and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the escalating tension and chaos of the trial, particularly through Bobby Seale's defiant interruptions, which highlight his frustration with being denied counsel and underscore the racial injustices at play. However, this repetition of Bobby's objections might feel formulaic if similar dynamics have been shown in earlier scenes, potentially reducing the emotional impact and making the audience desensitized to his plight. To maintain engagement, the writer should ensure that this outburst serves as a climactic peak rather than another instance of routine disruption.
  • Bobby Seale's character is portrayed with a mix of sarcasm and defiance, which is fitting for his historical persona, but the dialogue could delve deeper into his emotional state. The description 'all but dead behind his eyes' suggests exhaustion and defeat, yet his lines come across as rote and sarcastic, which might not fully convey the depth of his anger and grief, especially with the recent reference to Fred Hampton's assassination. This could be an opportunity to humanize Bobby more, showing vulnerability alongside his resistance to make his character arc more compelling and relatable.
  • The intercutting between the courtroom and the holding cell is a strong visual technique that emphasizes the brutality of Bobby's treatment and contrasts it with the courtroom's controlled environment, effectively illustrating themes of oppression and abuse of power. However, the transitions feel somewhat abrupt and could confuse viewers if not handled with clearer cues or smoother editing in the screenplay. Adding more descriptive action lines or transitional phrases might help guide the audience through the rapid shifts, ensuring the visual storytelling remains coherent and impactful.
  • The reference to Fred Hampton's assassination is a powerful moment that injects real-world gravity into the scene, but it is underutilized. Bobby's mention of it causes a gasp from the gallery, but there's little follow-through in terms of character reactions or emotional fallout, which could heighten the stakes and connect more deeply to the overarching narrative of systemic racism and political violence. Expanding on this could strengthen the scene's emotional resonance and tie it more explicitly to the film's themes.
  • The ending, where the defendants plan a silent protest by not standing for the judge, is a clever setup for future conflict and shows group solidarity, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the main action. The note-passing is a subtle touch, but it could be integrated more organically by linking it to the immediate tension or Bobby's removal, making it feel less like an afterthought and more part of the scene's flow. This would better maintain dramatic momentum and reinforce the ensemble dynamics.
  • Overall, the scene advances the plot by escalating the trial's chaos and leading to Bobby's removal, which is a pivotal moment. However, it risks overshadowing other characters and subplots, such as the tensions between Tom Hayden and Abbie Hoffman mentioned in previous scenes. Balancing the focus to include brief reactions from other defendants could prevent the scene from becoming too Bobby-centric and keep the ensemble feel intact, ensuring that the trial's broader conflicts are represented.
Suggestions
  • Refine Bobby Seale's dialogue to include more personal reflections on his denial of counsel and the Hampton assassination, adding layers of emotion to make his defiance more nuanced and engaging.
  • Smooth the intercuts between the courtroom and holding cell by adding transitional descriptions or slug lines that clarify the shifts, improving visual clarity and pacing.
  • Expand the gallery's and other defendants' reactions to Bobby's outburst about Fred Hampton to build emotional depth and emphasize the collective impact, perhaps with close-ups on specific characters like Tom or Rennie.
  • Integrate the note-passing sequence more fluidly by having it stem directly from the courtroom tension, such as Rennie reacting to Bobby's removal, to create a stronger narrative connection.
  • Consider adding a brief flashback or voice-over reference to earlier events in the trial to remind the audience of the buildup, enhancing context and emotional weight without extending the scene's length.
  • Balance character focus by including subtle actions or reactions from other defendants during Bobby's testimony, ensuring the scene supports the ensemble narrative and highlights interpersonal dynamics.



Scene 42 - A Courtroom in Chains
156 INT. COURTROOM - SAME TIME 156
Tense silence.
The side door opens and the MARSHALS bring BOBBY in--bound,
gagged and chained.
The GALLERY reacts in horror.
The MARSHALS stand BOBBY up at his chair. HOFFMAN raps his
gavel until there’s finally silence.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Let the record show that I tried,
fairly and impartially, I tried to
get the defendant to sit on his
own. I ask you again, and you may
indicate by raising your head up
and down or moving it from side to
side, if I have your assurance that
you will not do anything to disrupt
this trial if I allow you to resume
proper order.
BOBBY doesn’t move...just looks at him...
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
Do I have your assurance?
BOBBY looks at the judge and gently shakes his head “no”...
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
Mr. Schultz, call your next
witness.
SCHULTZ doesn’t move...nobody does...
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
Mr. Schultz, call your witness.
SCHULTZ
May we approach, Your Honor?
JUDGE HOFFMAN waves the LAWYERS up to the bench.

KUNSTLER
Can he breathe?
(to BOBBY)
Can you breathe alright?
BOBBY nods “yeah”.
The LAWYERS step up to the bench and speak very quietly.
SCHULTZ
Your Honor, a defendant is bound
and gagged in an American
courtroom.
FORAN
He brought it on himself.
KUNSTLER
(to FORAN)
Are you insane?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
That’s enough.
KUNSTLER
This is an unholy disgrace to the
law. This is a medieval torture
chamber.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I know no other lawyer who would
utter such a thing.
WEINGLASS
This is an unholy disgrace to the
law and a medieval torture--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I said that’s enough!
(beat)
Love of God.
(beat)
What do you want, Mr. Schultz, this
is your sidebar.
SCHULTZ
Your Honor, at this time the
Government would like to make a
motion that Bobby Seale be
separated--
FORAN
Wait--

SCHULTZ
(to FORAN)
Yes. Just--please sir.
(to JUDGE HOFFMAN)
--a motion that Bobby Seale be
separated from the other defendants
and that a mistrial be declared in
his case.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
You want me to give him his
mistrial?
KUNSTLER
You took their black guy and made
him a sympathetic character.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I’ve lived a long time and you’re
the first person who’s ever
suggested that I’ve discriminated
against a black man.
WEINGLASS
Then let the record show that I’m
the second.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
(pause)
Step back.
The lawyers return to their tables.
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
I’m issuing an order declaring a
mistrial as to the defendant Bobby
G. Seale.
CHEERS go up in the courtroom.
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
Mr. Seale, you’re currently charged
with 16 counts of contempt for your
repeated displays of disrespect,
and you have a pending homicide
charge in Connecticut. You are not
home free and I doubt you ever will
be. We’re adjourned until ten a.m.
Monday.
BAILIFF
All rise.

TOM stands out of habit but no one else does. TOM immediately
sees his mistake but it’s too late to sit.
JUDGE HOFFMAN clocks this, nods at TOM approvingly, and exits
as we
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In a tense courtroom scene, Bobby Seale is brought in bound, gagged, and chained, provoking horror from the gallery. Judge Hoffman attempts to maintain order, but Bobby refuses to assure he won't disrupt the trial. Prosecutor Schultz motions for a mistrial due to Bobby's treatment, which defense lawyers Kunstler and Weinglass vehemently criticize as disgraceful. Hoffman ultimately grants the mistrial for Bobby, citing his pending charges, and adjourns court, leading to cheers from the audience. The scene concludes with Hoffman's approving nod to Tom, who stood out of habit.
Strengths
  • Intense courtroom drama
  • Powerful character dynamics
  • Emotional resonance
Weaknesses
  • Potential for excessive dialogue
  • Risk of overshadowing other plot elements

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is intense, emotionally charged, and pivotal in the storyline. It effectively conveys the power dynamics and conflicts within the legal proceedings, keeping the audience engaged and invested.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around the mistrial declaration and the dramatic courtroom confrontation. It effectively conveys the themes of justice, power dynamics, and defiance within the legal system.

Plot: 9.2

The plot of the scene is crucial as it leads to a significant development in the trial with Bobby Seale's mistrial declaration. It advances the storyline by highlighting the conflicts and power struggles within the courtroom.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the courtroom drama genre by focusing on themes of injustice, oppression, and moral integrity. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, especially Bobby Seale, Judge Hoffman, and the lawyers, are well-developed and portrayed with depth. Their interactions and reactions add layers to the narrative, enhancing the overall impact.

Character Changes: 9

Bobby Seale undergoes a significant change as he is mistreated and mistrialed, showcasing his resilience and defiance. The other characters also experience shifts in their dynamics and beliefs, adding depth to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his dignity and integrity despite the unjust treatment he is facing. This reflects his deeper need for justice, his fear of being silenced or oppressed, and his desire to stand up for his beliefs.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to resist being silenced and oppressed by the court system. This reflects the immediate challenge of facing unfair treatment and maintaining his rights during the trial.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, involving power struggles, defiance, and ethical dilemmas. The clash between the characters and the high stakes contribute to the heightened conflict level.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing significant challenges and obstacles within the legal system. The audience is kept uncertain about the outcome, adding to the scene's intensity.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are exceptionally high in the scene, with Bobby Seale's mistrial declaration impacting the trial's outcome and the characters' fates. The intense conflicts and power struggles elevate the stakes to a critical level.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major plot development with Bobby Seale's mistrial. It sets the stage for further conflicts, resolutions, and character arcs, advancing the narrative momentum.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics, moral conflicts, and unexpected resolutions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the ideals of justice, fairness, and human rights against the oppressive nature of authority and legal systems. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the integrity of the legal system and his values of standing up against injustice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.3

The scene has a high emotional impact on the audience, evoking feelings of tension, empathy, and defiance. The dramatic moments, mistrial declaration, and character reactions create a compelling emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is impactful, reflecting the tension and defiance present in the courtroom setting. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and conflicts, driving the narrative forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, emotional intensity, and moral dilemmas. The conflict and drama keep the audience invested in the outcome and the characters' fates.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the unfolding drama. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the conventions of a screenplay, effectively conveying the setting, characters, and dialogue. The scene is structured in a clear and engaging manner.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for a courtroom drama, building tension, conflict, and resolution effectively. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's intensity and emotional impact.


Critique
  • This scene effectively captures the raw tension and historical injustice of Bobby Seale's treatment during the trial, mirroring real events from the Chicago Seven trial. The visual of Bobby being brought in bound and gagged is a powerful image that evokes horror and outrage, helping to underscore the theme of systemic racism and abuse of power within the judicial system. However, while the dialogue conveys the conflict well, it feels somewhat static and reliant on exposition, which might not fully engage the audience emotionally. For instance, the sidebar conversation is handled through whispers, but in a screenplay, this could benefit from more dynamic staging or intercutting to show the intensity without losing clarity, as the current description might make it hard for viewers to follow the rapid exchanges. Additionally, Tom's reflexive stand at the end is a nice touch that reveals character depth and internal conflict, contrasting with the other defendants' resistance, but it comes across as somewhat abrupt and underdeveloped, potentially missing an opportunity to explore his character's complexity in relation to his ideological stance versus ingrained habits. Overall, the scene advances the plot by resolving Bobby's arc in this trial (via mistrial) and heightens the drama, but it could deepen audience investment by incorporating more sensory details or subtle reactions to make the horror more visceral and relatable.
  • One strength is the way the scene uses silence and non-verbal communication, such as Bobby's head shakes and the gallery's horrified reactions, to build suspense and convey emotion without over-relying on dialogue. This cinematic approach aligns well with screenwriting principles, creating a tense atmosphere that draws viewers in. However, the critique extends to the portrayal of Bobby Seale; while his silence is historically poignant, it might limit his agency in this moment, making him seem more passive than in reality, where he was known for his vocal defiance. This could alienate audiences who expect a more active resistance from him, especially given the buildup in previous scenes where he interrupts proceedings. Furthermore, the scene's connection to the broader narrative is somewhat weak; for example, it references Bobby's contempt charges and homicide case briefly, but without reminding viewers of the context from earlier scenes (like his denial of counsel), it might feel disjointed. As a teaching point, this highlights the importance of ensuring each scene ties into the overall arc, reinforcing character motivations and themes like racial inequality.
  • The dialogue in the sidebar is sharp and confrontational, effectively showcasing the ideological divide between the prosecution and defense, with Kunstler and Weinglass's accusations adding to the chaos. However, some lines, such as the repeated use of 'unholy disgrace,' come off as redundant and could be streamlined to avoid repetition, making the exchange feel more natural and less scripted. From a reader's perspective, the scene's pacing is brisk, which suits the high-stakes drama, but it might rush through emotional beats, like the gallery's reaction or Bobby's isolation, potentially undercutting the impact. As an expert critique, this scene excels in dramatizing a pivotal historical moment but could improve by balancing action with introspection, perhaps through a close-up on a defendant's face to show internal turmoil, thereby enhancing thematic depth and audience empathy. In summary, while the scene is compelling and true to the source material, it occasionally prioritizes plot progression over character nuance, which is a common pitfall in trial scenes that could be addressed to make it more multifaceted.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by adding more descriptive actions and reactions; for example, include close-ups of the gallery's faces to show their horror, or cut to Bobby's eyes to convey his defiance without dialogue, making the scene more immersive and emotionally resonant.
  • Develop Tom's character moment at the end by adding a brief internal thought or a reaction shot that connects his instinctive stand to his earlier stoicism in scene 38, where he didn't applaud, to better illustrate his internal conflict and make his actions feel more intentional and tied to the narrative arc.
  • Refine the dialogue in the sidebar to reduce repetition and increase dynamism; for instance, vary the language used by Kunstler and Weinglass to avoid echoing phrases, and consider using overlapping dialogue or voice-over techniques to handle the whispers more cinematically, improving clarity and engagement for the audience.
  • Strengthen the scene's connection to previous events by including a subtle reminder or flashback reference to Bobby's earlier interruptions (from scene 38 or 152), ensuring that viewers unfamiliar with the history can follow the escalation without confusion, thus improving narrative cohesion.
  • Extend the emotional payoff by slowing down key moments, such as Bobby's head shake or the cheers after the mistrial announcement, to allow the audience to absorb the significance, and consider adding a sound design element like echoing gavel strikes to heighten the tension and emphasize the theme of injustice.



Scene 43 - Tensions and Strategies in the Conspiracy Office
157 EXT./EST. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 157
We HEAR BERNADINE answer the phone--
BERNADINE (V.O.)
Conspiracy office, how can I help
you?
158 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - SAME TIME 158
The mood is exhaustion. Everyone’s quiet.
BERNADINE
(into the phone)
No, sir, I’m a white woman.
(listens)
Yeah, I’ve slept with several in my
life so far and on balance I’d have
to say yes, it is better and to
tell you the truth, I think that’s
a big part of what’s got you worked
up.
WEINGLASS
Hang up the phone.
BERNADINE
(into the phone)
It’s not even so much that it’s
bigger, it’s just better, you know
what I mean?
WEINGLASS
Hang up the phone.
BERNADINE hangs up the phone.
WEINGLASS (CONT'D)
Was that a parting gift for Bobby?
BERNADINE
No, that was just for me.

WEINGLASS joins KUNSTLER and the DEFENDANTS who are sitting
around the living room. KUNSTLER’s got a drink and he’s
smoking a joint.
Out of the silence...
JERRY
(to TOM)
Why the fuck did you stand up?
TOM
I was just--it was a reflex.
RENNIE
He was respecting the institution.
TOM
And I don’t know what good it does
to insult the judge. And it was in
view of the jury. And the press.
And Foran and Schultz who’ll be
recommending sentencing if we’re
convicted.
ABBIE
It’s a revolution, Tom. We may have
to hurt somebody’s feelings.
There’s momentary silence in the room...
RENNIE
(pause)
So...we have this list. I was
thinking maybe Monday morning we
could read the names into the
record.
TOM
Jesus--
RENNIE
As a way of saying--
TOM
As a way of saying what?
RENNIE
That whatever we’re facing, you
know, is peanuts compared to what
these guys--
TOM
He’s the one who’s gonna sentence
us.
(MORE)

TOM (CONT'D)
The judge gets to decide what we’re
facing. It’s a goddam trial.
ABBIE
A political trial.
TOM
No, we were arrested for--the law
doesn’t recognize political--
ABBIE
We weren’t arrested, we were
chosen. Lee, John, have you guys
asked yourselves what you’re doing
here?
WEINER
Every day.
ABBIE
You’re a give-back. They give the
jury a couple of guys they can
acquit and feel better about
finding the rest us guilty. Lenny,
am I wrong?
WEINGLASS
No.
FROINES
Our role in history is that we made
it easier to convict our friends?
Lee?
WEINER nods his head...
ABBIE
They’re gonna find us guilty of “I
just don’t like you.” That’s why
Bill won’t put any of us on the
stand.
DAVE
I could take the stand, I’m easy
for them to like. I’m literally a
Boy Scout troop leader.
KUNSTLER
You’re a conscientious objector.
DAVE
A lot of people are conscientious--

KUNSTLER
During World War II. You sat out
World War II. Even I want to punch
you.
DAVE
Well we can talk about that.
KUNSTLER
I’m looking forward to it.
JERRY
I could take the stand.
KUNSTLER
Have you ever taught a classroom
how to make a bomb?
JERRY
8th graders are taught how
Oppenheimer made a bomb.
KUNSTLER
Not one you can build with material
from Woolworths.
RENNIE
You know what would be ironic?
JERRY
Rennie Davis speaks.
KUNSTLER
What?
RENNIE
I said you know what would be
ironic?
TOM
He heard you, he’s asking what
would be ironic.
RENNIE
I was just gonna say if John
Mitchell did all this just to get
back at Ramsey Clark.
TOM
For what?

RENNIE
That thing. Remember? Outgoing
cabinet members are supposed to
resign as a courtesy but Ramsey
Clark didn’t tender his resignation
until an hour--
As this goes on, we PUSH IN on KUNSTLER and WEINGLASS as they
look at each other, each having the same thought.
JERRY
Yeah, I read Mitchell had a fit
about that.
(to WEINGLASS)
Did you read about that?
(beat)
Lenny?
But KUNSTLER and WEINGLASS keep silently staring at each
other...
JERRY (CONT'D)
(beat)
Bill?
KUNSTLER
He was never even on our witness
list.
TOM
Who?
KUNSTLER
The first witness you’d put on the
stand...if this was a political
trial.
(calling)
Bernadine!
BERNADINE
Yeah.
KUNSTLER
My office needs to find Ramsey
Clark.
ABBIE
William Kunstler just showed up.
CUT TO:
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Political"]

Summary In the dimly lit Conspiracy Office at night, Bernadine engages in a provocative phone call before joining Weinglass, Kunstler, and the defendants, who are exhausted and debating trial strategies. Tensions rise as they discuss the balance between respecting the judicial system and treating the trial as a political statement. Personal jabs and disagreements emerge, particularly regarding who should testify, with Kunstler ultimately deciding to call Ramsey Clark as a witness, shifting the focus of their defense. The scene captures a mix of dark humor and frustration among the group.
Strengths
  • Rich character interactions
  • Strategic planning elements
  • Tension-building dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Potential for dialogue overload
  • Lack of visual variety

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is well-structured, delving into deep character reflections and strategic discussions, setting up tension and conflict for the upcoming trial.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of preparing for a political trial, exploring character ideologies, and setting up conflicts is well-developed and engaging.

Plot: 8.7

The plot progression is driven by character decisions, conflicts, and strategic discussions, laying the groundwork for the upcoming trial events.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to political activism and legal drama, blending humor with serious themes. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and original, offering a unique perspective on the challenges they face.


Character Development

Characters: 8.9

Character interactions are rich, showcasing diverse personalities, ideologies, and motivations, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Character growth and shifts in perspectives are subtly hinted at, setting the stage for potential development in the trial.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain their resolve and commitment to their cause despite facing legal consequences. This reflects their deeper need for justice, freedom, and the belief in their political ideals.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the legal proceedings and defend themselves against the charges brought upon them. This reflects the immediate challenge of proving their innocence and fighting against the system.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.8

The scene presents internal and external conflicts through character disagreements, ideological clashes, and strategic decisions, heightening tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and actions. The uncertainty of the legal proceedings adds to the opposition, keeping the audience engaged.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the trial, personal convictions, and ideological clashes heighten the tension and importance of the upcoming legal battle.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by laying out strategic plans, revealing character motivations, and setting up conflicts that will impact the trial.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in dialogue, the characters' conflicting viewpoints, and the uncertain outcomes of their legal battle. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8.5

The philosophical conflict revolves around the clash between political activism and legal justice. The characters debate the nature of their actions, the impact on society, and the consequences of their choices, challenging their beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.4

The scene evokes emotions through character reflections, ideological debates, and the high stakes of the upcoming trial, engaging the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, reflective of character traits, and drives the scene forward by revealing strategic planning, conflicts, and ideological differences.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic dialogue, conflict-driven interactions, and the sense of urgency and stakes present in the characters' actions. The tension keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and conflict to unfold naturally. The rhythm of dialogue and character interactions enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, effectively conveying the setting, character actions, and dialogue. The scene is well-structured and easy to follow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict through dialogue and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the exhaustion and internal conflicts among the characters, mirroring the toll of the trial on their personal and ideological stances. This builds on the previous scene's high tension with Bobby Seale's mistreatment, creating a natural decompression that allows for character-driven drama. However, the shift from the intense courtroom events to this quieter, introspective moment feels abrupt, potentially losing some of the emotional momentum; the writer could better bridge this by using visual or auditory callbacks to the court's chaos, such as distant echoes or character reflections, to maintain thematic continuity.
  • Dialogue is a strength here, revealing deep-seated conflicts, such as the ideological divide between Tom and Abbie, which humanizes the characters and advances the theme of factionalism within the movement. Yet, some exchanges, like the banter about who should testify or the irony of Mitchell's motives, come across as overly expository or tangential, which might confuse viewers not familiar with historical context. This could be refined to ensure that all dialogue serves multiple purposes—revealing character, advancing plot, and reinforcing themes—without overwhelming the audience with background information.
  • The silent realization between Kunstler and Weinglass about calling Ramsey Clark as a witness is a clever plot pivot that ties into the political nature of the trial, providing a moment of strategic insight amid personal chaos. However, this moment feels underdeveloped; it lacks buildup or foreshadowing, making it seem sudden. Additionally, the humor from Bernadine's phone call, while lightening the mood, risks undermining the scene's serious tone, especially after the grave events involving Bobby Seale and Fred Hampton, potentially diluting the emotional weight and making the transition to the realization less impactful.
  • Character interactions are vivid and authentic, showcasing the group's fatigue and fracturing unity, which helps readers understand the human cost of their activism. That said, the scene could benefit from more nuanced development of secondary characters like Weiner and Froines, who are labeled as 'give-backs' but don't actively contribute beyond nodding, making their presence feel passive. This opportunity to explore their internal conflicts or stakes could add depth and make the group dynamics more balanced and engaging.
  • Pacing is generally strong, with the scene starting in silence and building to conflict and resolution, but the lengthy debates (e.g., on reading names into the record) can feel repetitive and slow-burning, risking audience disengagement. In a screenplay context, this might work in a longer format, but tightening these sections could heighten tension and keep the focus on key emotional beats, ensuring the scene propels the story forward without meandering.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the central conflict of idealism versus pragmatism in activism, with Tom's respect for institutions clashing against Abbie's revolutionary zeal. However, this is somewhat overshadowed by the abrupt ending with the decision to find Ramsey Clark, which, while intriguing, doesn't fully resolve the interpersonal tensions raised earlier. A clearer connection to the larger narrative arc, such as hinting at how this witness could address the trial's injustices, would help readers see its significance and make the critique more cohesive.
Suggestions
  • Streamline the dialogue by cutting redundant lines in debates (e.g., the back-and-forth on irony or testimony) to improve pacing and maintain focus on high-stakes emotional conflicts, ensuring each exchange advances character or plot.
  • Add visual cues or subtle actions during silent moments, like characters fidgeting with trial documents or glancing at news clippings about Fred Hampton, to enhance emotional depth and bridge the gap from the previous scene's intensity, making the transition smoother.
  • Integrate more historical context organically, perhaps through a brief flashback or a character's reflective monologue, to clarify references like Ramsey Clark's resignation without relying on exposition, helping viewers unfamiliar with the events follow the story.
  • Balance humor and drama by either shortening or reframing Bernadine's phone call to tie it into the theme of media manipulation or personal coping mechanisms, ensuring it complements rather than contrasts the scene's overall tone of exhaustion and tension.
  • Develop secondary characters like Weiner and Froines by giving them active lines or reactions that show their personal stakes, such as Weiner questioning his role more assertively, to create a more dynamic group interaction and avoid them feeling like background elements.
  • End the scene with a stronger beat on the Ramsey Clark decision, perhaps by having Kunstler verbalize a brief strategy or showing the group's mixed reactions, to provide closure to the discussion and set up anticipation for future events, making the plot pivot more satisfying and clear.



Scene 44 - The Government Car
159 EXT./EST. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY 159
There’s a dusting of snow on the ground as a taxi pulls into
the circular driveway. The side of the taxi lets us know
we’re in the D.C. area.
TOM, KUNSTLER and WEINGLASS get out of the cab. WEINGLASS
pays the driver while KUNSTLER looks at something--a black
sedan sitting in the driveway next to the family car.
KUNSTLER
Lenny.
WEINGLASS looks over. KUNSTLER walks to the black sedan and
wipes away some snow that’s caked on the license plate--it
reads “U.S. Gov’t”.
WEINGLASS
Maybe--I don’t know, does he have a
Secret Service detail?
KUNSTLER
No. They’re here for us.
The three of them walk up to the front door and stand there a
moment. It’s like they’re about to knock on the door
belonging to the Wizard of Oz.
KUNSTLER (CONT'D)
He was the Attorney General, what
do we do, we just ring the
doorbell?
WEINGLASS
Yeah, I guess so.
KUNSTLER
You want to do it?
TOM
Just ring the damn--
TOM rings the doorbell.
They wait...
KUNSTLER
It’s a nice house.
WEINGLASS
Yeah.

KUNSTLER
(pause)
What would you call this, Tudor or
Colonial?
The door’s opened by JANE, a young, African-American
housekeeper.
KUNSTLER (CONT'D)
Good morning, I’m Bill Kunstler.
Mr. Clark is expecting us.
JANE
Come in.
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Political Drama"]

Summary In a snowy suburban D.C. setting, TOM, KUNSTLER, and WEINGLASS arrive at a former Attorney General's house. They notice a government sedan in the driveway, raising their apprehension about the visit. While KUNSTLER and WEINGLASS engage in nervous banter about the house, TOM impatiently rings the doorbell. After a brief wait, JANE, the housekeeper, opens the door and admits them following KUNSTLER's introduction.
Strengths
  • Effective tension-building
  • Intriguing setup for future developments
  • Realistic character reactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up a tense and intriguing atmosphere with the unexpected visit to a suburban house, showcasing the clash between personal and professional worlds.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the unexpected visit to a suburban house adds depth to the plot and introduces a new layer of conflict and intrigue.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses by introducing a new element that raises questions and sets the stage for further developments in the story.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on the classic 'meeting with authority' scenario by infusing it with political intrigue and moral dilemmas. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and interactions in the scene are consistent with their established personalities, adding depth to their development.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the tension and uncertainty experienced by the characters can lead to potential shifts in their perspectives.

Internal Goal: 8

Kunstler's internal goal is to navigate a potentially risky situation with confidence and composure, showcasing his experience and expertise in handling delicate matters.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to meet with Mr. Clark as planned, despite the unexpected presence of the government vehicle and the uncertainty it brings.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict arises from the characters' uncertainty and the implications of the government's presence, adding depth to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the presence of the government vehicle creating a sense of looming threat and uncertainty. The characters' reactions to this opposition add depth to the conflict and keep the audience intrigued.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are implied through the government's involvement and the tension surrounding the unexpected visit, hinting at potential consequences for the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new plot element and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected elements like the government vehicle and the characters' uncertain reactions, keeping the audience on edge about what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict lies in the clash between the protagonists' ideals of justice and the looming authority represented by the government vehicle. It challenges their beliefs in standing up for what is right against powerful forces.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of tension and intrigue, engaging the audience emotionally and setting the stage for future developments.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and uncertainty of the situation, setting the tone for future interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its suspenseful atmosphere, intriguing dialogue, and the characters' reactions to the unfolding events. The audience is drawn into the mystery and uncertainty of the situation.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment at the doorbell ring. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's impact and keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards, making the scene easy to follow and engaging for readers. It effectively conveys the visual and emotional elements of the setting and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a well-paced structure that builds tension effectively, leading to a climactic moment at the doorbell ring. The formatting aligns with the genre's expectations, enhancing the scene's impact.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of anticipation and unease as the characters approach Ramsey Clark's home, mirroring the high stakes of their mission to secure a key witness in the trial. However, the dialogue feels somewhat superficial and overly focused on mundane details like the architectural style of the house, which doesn't deeply engage the audience or advance character development. This could be an opportunity to delve into the characters' internal conflicts or reference the recent emotional turmoil from the previous scene, such as Bobby Seale's treatment or Fred Hampton's death, to create a stronger emotional through-line and make the hesitation at the door more meaningful.
  • Visually, the snowy setting and the government car add atmospheric tension, symbolizing the cold, bureaucratic nature of their struggle and the ever-present surveillance by authorities. Yet, this visual potential is underutilized; the scene could benefit from more descriptive elements or actions that tie into the film's themes of injustice and resistance, such as lingering shots on the 'U.S. Gov’t' license plate to emphasize paranoia, or subtle reactions from the characters that reveal their vulnerability after the intense events depicted earlier.
  • The interaction with Jane, the housekeeper, is brief and functional, serving primarily to end the scene, but it misses a chance to add depth or social commentary. Given the racial dynamics in the broader story (e.g., Bobby Seale's experiences), Jane's character could be used to introduce a moment of contrast or irony, such as a knowing glance or a subtle line that underscores the characters' outsider status in this affluent, government-adjacent environment, thereby enriching the scene's thematic resonance.
  • Pacing-wise, the scene is concise and transitional, which fits its role in the narrative, but it risks feeling inconsequential without stronger buildup. As scene 44 in a 60-scene script, it should heighten suspense toward the pivotal meeting with Ramsey Clark; however, the hesitation and speculation about the car could be more dynamic to maintain momentum, especially after the high-tension courtroom and jail scenes that precede it, ensuring the audience feels the weight of this step in the defense strategy.
  • Overall, while the scene successfully conveys nervousness and sets up the next encounter, it lacks emotional depth and character insight, making it feel like a perfunctory bridge rather than a fully realized moment. This could alienate viewers if not connected more explicitly to the overarching narrative of rebellion against authority, as seen in the critiques of judicial and social systems throughout the script.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the dialogue to include subtextual references to recent events, such as Tom mentioning Bobby Seale's gagging or Kunstler alluding to Fred Hampton's death, to create a smoother emotional transition from the previous scene and deepen character motivations.
  • Amplify visual and atmospheric elements by adding descriptive actions, like characters brushing snow off their coats to symbolize shedding illusions or focusing on the contrast between the warm house interior (implied) and the cold exterior, to reinforce themes of isolation and institutional coldness.
  • Expand Jane's role slightly with a line or gesture that adds social commentary, such as her reacting to the group's disheveled appearance or making a wry comment about 'government visitors,' to tie into the film's exploration of racial and class inequalities without overshadowing the main action.
  • Tighten the pacing by reducing repetitive dialogue about ringing the doorbell and instead use it to build tension through nonverbal cues, like extended beats of silence or close-ups on anxious expressions, ensuring the scene feels purposeful and engaging within the larger narrative flow.
  • Integrate more character-specific details, such as Tom's impatience reflecting his activist urgency or Kunstler's sarcasm hinting at his weariness, to make the scene more dynamic and help audiences connect with the characters' psyches, ultimately strengthening the setup for the important meeting with Ramsey Clark.



Scene 45 - A Brief Encounter in the Foyer
160 INT. FOYER - CONTINUOUS 160
JANE
He’s in his study at the end of the
hall. Can I get anyone coffee?
KUNSTLER
I’ll tell you, ma’am, that sounds
great.
WEINGLASS
Nothing for me, thank you.
TOM gives a small wave that means he’s fine.
JANE
The end of the hall.
KUNSTLER and WEINGLASS start down the hall but TOM’s stopped
by--
JANE (CONT'D)
Mr. Hayden?
TOM looks at her...
JANE (CONT'D)
I read in the paper you were the
only one who stood for the judge
after what he did to Bobby.
TOM
Oh. That was a mistake. It was a
reflex and--
KUNSTLER
Tom?

TOM
Yeah.
TOM joins the two lawyers as they head down the hall.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In scene 45, set in a foyer, Jane greets visitors Bill Kunstler, Leonard Weinglass, and Tom Hayden, offering coffee. Kunstler accepts, while Weinglass and Tom decline. Jane engages Tom in a brief conversation about his recent support for a judge, which he downplays as a mistake, creating a moment of awkwardness. The scene concludes as Tom rejoins Kunstler and Weinglass, and they proceed down the hall to Mr. Clark's study.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character introspection
  • Authentic dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Low external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a mix of tension, reflection, and seriousness, setting the stage for character introspection and potential growth.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of reflecting on past actions and their implications is well-presented, adding depth to the characters and setting the stage for potential growth.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot progression is subtle in this scene, the focus on character introspection adds layers to the narrative and sets the stage for potential developments.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on moral dilemmas and personal accountability, blending elements of legal drama with introspective character moments. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters' internal conflicts and reflections are central to the scene, showcasing their depth and complexity in a moment of vulnerability and introspection.

Character Changes: 7

The scene hints at potential character growth and introspection, setting the stage for personal development and change.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate a delicate situation involving his past actions and the judgment of others. He seeks to maintain composure and control over the narrative of his past mistakes.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to meet with Mr. Hayden in his study, possibly to discuss legal matters or personal issues. This goal reflects the immediate need for communication and resolution.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

The conflict in this scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on personal regrets and introspection rather than external clashes.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with subtle conflicts and underlying tensions that create uncertainty about the characters' motivations and intentions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the interactions will unfold.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes in this scene are more personal and internal, focusing on character introspection and regrets rather than external threats or conflicts.

Story Forward: 6

While the scene doesn't propel the plot significantly forward, it adds depth to the characters and sets the stage for potential developments.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations about the protagonist's past actions and the tension between characters that hints at deeper conflicts. The audience is left unsure of the characters' true intentions.

Philosophical Conflict: 6.5

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's sense of responsibility and accountability for his actions. Jane's mention of his past decision challenges his beliefs about standing up for justice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a strong emotional response through the characters' introspective moments and regrets, resonating with the audience.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is reflective and introspective, capturing the characters' emotions and regrets effectively.

Engagement: 8.5

This scene is engaging because of its layered character interactions, subtle conflicts, and the gradual reveal of past events that intrigue the audience. The dialogue keeps the audience invested in the unfolding drama.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense through strategic dialogue exchanges and character movements. It maintains a steady rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and eager to learn more.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to industry standards, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. It ensures clarity and readability for the reader.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a structured format typical of its genre, with clear character introductions, dialogue exchanges, and a progression towards a central conflict. The pacing and rhythm enhance the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • This scene serves as a brief transitional moment, effectively bridging the arrival at Ramsey Clark's home to the upcoming meeting in his study. However, its brevity and minimal action may make it feel inconsequential in the larger narrative, potentially diluting the building tension from previous scenes where characters debate trial strategies and face governmental pressures. The interaction between Jane and Tom introduces a personal, reflective beat that humanizes Tom and references a key moment from earlier in the trial (his reflexive stand for the judge), which is thematically rich as it underscores the internal conflicts of the activists. Yet, this moment could be more deeply explored to heighten emotional stakes, as it touches on themes of regret, instinct versus ideology, and the personal cost of political actions, but it resolves too quickly, leaving little room for the audience to absorb its significance. Visually, the scene is straightforward and functional, with descriptions that ground the setting in a domestic, snowy environment, but it lacks vivid sensory details or cinematographic opportunities that could enhance atmosphere—such as the contrast between the cold exterior and the warm interior, symbolizing the characters' transition from public scrutiny to private confrontation. Dialogue is concise and natural, reflecting realistic interactions, but it occasionally feels expository, particularly Jane's comment about Tom's action in court, which recaps information for the audience rather than advancing character development or revealing new insights. Overall, while the scene maintains the script's tone of understated tension and anticipation, it risks feeling like filler in a high-stakes drama, where every moment should propel character arcs or plot forward more dynamically.
  • Character dynamics are subtly portrayed, with Tom's small wave declining coffee and his hurried response to Kunstler showing his impatience and focus, which aligns with his portrayal as a pragmatic activist throughout the script. Jane's role as a housekeeper provides a momentary grounding in normalcy amidst the chaos of the trial, offering a contrast to the intense legal and political confrontations, but her character is underdeveloped; she serves primarily as a plot device to deliver exposition and direction, lacking depth that could make her interaction with Tom more engaging or thematically resonant. The scene's placement after a heated debate in the conspiracy office and before a pivotal meeting with Ramsey Clark creates a natural pause, but it doesn't fully capitalize on building suspense or foreshadowing the revelations to come, such as the discussion about government involvement in indictments. Emotionally, Tom's admission that standing for the judge was a 'mistake' and a 'reflex' humanizes him and highlights the theme of unintended consequences in activism, but this is undercut by the abrupt cut to the group moving down the hall, missing an opportunity to linger on his internal conflict and make the audience empathize more deeply. In terms of screenwriting craft, the scene adheres to concise formatting but could benefit from more active verbs or descriptive language to make the visuals more cinematic, ensuring that even transitional scenes contribute to the overall rhythm and pacing of the film.
  • Thematically, this scene reinforces the script's exploration of the blurred lines between personal and political identities, as seen in Tom's reflexive action being scrutinized in a domestic setting. However, it doesn't advance the central conflict of the trial or the characters' relationships in a meaningful way, which is a missed opportunity in a screenplay where every scene should ideally escalate tension or reveal character growth. The dialogue, while authentic, lacks subtext or conflict that could make it more dramatic; for instance, Jane's comment could spark a brief, introspective monologue from Tom or a reaction from Kunstler and Weinglass, adding layers to their dynamics. Visually, the scene is static, with characters mostly standing or walking, which might not hold visual interest in a film adaptation, suggesting a need for more dynamic blocking or environmental details to engage the audience. Finally, as part of a larger sequence involving government surveillance and legal strategies, this scene could better integrate motifs like the 'U.S. Gov’t' car from the previous scene to maintain continuity and heighten paranoia, but it feels somewhat isolated, potentially weakening the narrative flow.
Suggestions
  • Expand the dialogue between Jane and Tom to delve deeper into his regret over standing for the judge, perhaps by having him share a brief, introspective thought or question Jane about her perspective on the trial, adding emotional depth and making the scene more memorable.
  • Incorporate more visual elements to enhance atmosphere and foreshadowing, such as describing the hallway leading to the study with symbolic details (e.g., family photos contrasting with the characters' turbulent lives) or using camera angles to show Tom's hesitation, building suspense for the upcoming confrontation with Ramsey Clark.
  • Tighten the pacing by integrating this scene more seamlessly with the previous and next scenes; for example, have Kunstler or Weinglass react to Jane's comment about Tom, creating a ripple effect that ties into the group's ongoing debates about trial strategies and maintaining thematic consistency.
  • Add a subtle action or gesture to heighten tension, like Tom glancing back at the government car through a window or Jane subtly reacting to the group's presence, to reinforce the theme of surveillance and make the transition feel more dynamic and less expository.



Scene 46 - Defiance in the Study
161 INT. STUDY - DAY 161
RAMSEY CLARK, in khakis and a button-down shirt, is sitting
with two men in dark suits, one of whom we recognize as
HOWARD from John Mitchell’s office. Framed photos are on the
wall of Clark with LBJ in the Oval Office, with Bobby Kennedy
and from his days as a Marine.
CLARK is both laid back and completely in control. He gets up
to greet his visitors.
CLARK
Hey, Bill, Ramsey Clark.
KUNSTLER
Pleased to meet you, sir, this is
Leonard Weinglass.
CLARK
(shaking hands)
Mr. Weinglass.
KUNSTLER
And Tom Hayden.
CLARK
I know who Tom Hayden is, the FBI
used to work for me. These two men
are senior deputies with the
Justice Department--Mr. Calley and
Mr. Howard.
KUNSTLER
I don’t know what these men are
doing here.
CLARK
I invited them.
KUNSTLER
(pause)
You invited them?
CLARK
I don’t want any appearance of
impropriety.
KUNSTLER
There isn’t any impropriety.

CLARK
And now there are witnesses to
that.
KUNSTLER’s at a loss. He’s screwed before he even got
started...
KUNSTLER
(pause)
Sir, these men are going to call
Schultz and Foran as soon as we’re
done here.
CLARK
Don’t be ridiculous, they’ve
already called Schultz and Foran
and they’re gonna call John
Mitchell as soon as we’re done
here. Ask what you want to ask.
KUNSTLER
In front of them?
CLARK
Mm-hm.
KUNSTLER takes a breath...
KUNSTLER
(pause)
Alright. Mr. Clark, while you were
the Attorney General for President
Johnson, was there ever a
discussion with the White House
about seeking indictments against
my clients?
HOWARD
He can’t answer that.
KUNSTLER
Why not?
HOWARD
It’s against the law.
WEINGLASS
That’s an overly broad
interpretation of the law.
KUNSTLER
That’s Lenny’s way of saying you’re
criminally full of shit, Deputy
Howard.

HOWARD
Sir--
KUNSTLER
And I’ll tell you what--We’ve dealt
with jury tampering, wire tapping,
a defendant who was literally
gagged and a judge who’s been
handing down rulings from the bench
that would be considered wrong in
Honduras!--so I’m less interested
in the law than I was when this
trial began.
HOWARD
Whether you like the law or not, as
a former A.G. he’s protected by it.
KUNSTLER
No, you’re protected by it--
(to CLARK)
--and due respect, sir, I can
subpoena you.
HOWARD
Find a judge in this circuit who’ll
sign that subpoena.
CLARK
He’s right. And taking the stand
voluntarily would be a big risk for
me.
KUNSTLER
Again, due respect, but my clients
take a much bigger risk when they--
CLARK
What took you so long?
KUNSTLER
(beat)
--when they stand up against
enormous power they can’t see and--
I’m sorry, what took me so long to
do what?
CLARK
To realize I’m your star witness?
KUNSTLER’s a little thrown now...

KUNSTLER
(beat)
Well...we were...remarking on that
ourselves, but--
CLARK
Bill--
HOWARD
He can’t testify.
CLARK
I’m in private practice now and if
John Mitchell wants to cut me in
half, he can and he will.
TOM
You have to find--Sir, you have to
find some courage now and
CLARK
Find some courage, yeah.
TOM
Yes--You have to find some courage
and--
WEINGLASS
(holding a hand up)
Tom.
CLARK
That’s what these two men came to
tell me. That if John Mitchell
wants to cut me in half, he can and
he will. So I wanted them here in
the room when I said--When do you
want me in court?
The room freezes for a moment...
HOWARD
Mr. Clark--
KUNSTLER
I’m sorry?
CLARK
Swear me in, Bill.
HOWARD
It’s against the law for you to
testify, Ramsey, it’s that simple.

CLARK
It’s General Clark and arrest me or
shut the fuck up.
(to TOM--simply)
Found it.
Genres: ["Legal Drama","Political Drama"]

Summary In Ramsey Clark's study, tensions rise as William Kunstler confronts Justice Department deputies about potential White House interference in his clients' trial. Despite legal restrictions and heated arguments, Clark surprises everyone by declaring his willingness to testify for the defense, challenging the deputies' authority and asserting his courage. The scene culminates in a moment of defiance as Clark tells Howard to either arrest him or remain silent, shifting the power dynamic in favor of the defense.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • High stakes
  • Tension-filled confrontation
  • Sharp character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly engaging, filled with tension, and showcases a pivotal moment in the trial. The dialogue is sharp, the conflict is palpable, and the stakes are raised significantly.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on a key witness confrontation, is compelling and drives the narrative forward. The inclusion of high-stakes legal drama elements adds depth to the storyline.

Plot: 9.2

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene through the revelation of critical information and the escalation of conflict. The scene adds layers to the overarching narrative and sets the stage for future developments.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh take on legal drama by blending personal integrity with legal constraints. The characters' bold actions and sharp dialogue add authenticity and depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.1

The characters are well-developed and their interactions are central to the scene's impact. The dynamic between Kunstler and Clark, as well as the introduction of new characters, adds depth to the character portrayals.

Character Changes: 9

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions between characters reveal their values, motivations, and conflicts, setting the stage for potential development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Ramsey Clark's internal goal in this scene is to assert his independence and courage in the face of potential threats. His actions reflect a desire to maintain control over his own fate and decisions.

External Goal: 7.5

Ramsey Clark's external goal is to navigate the complex legal and political situation he finds himself in, balancing his past and present roles while asserting his agency.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, driving the narrative tension to new heights. The clash of ideologies and the high stakes create a compelling dynamic that keeps the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, legal constraints, and personal stakes creating obstacles that challenge the characters' decisions and actions.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are exceptionally high in this scene, with legal implications, power struggles, and personal risks at play. The outcome of the confrontation could have significant consequences for the characters involved.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new information, escalating conflicts, and setting the stage for future developments. It adds layers to the narrative and deepens the intrigue.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics, unexpected character decisions, and moral ambiguities that keep the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the clash between legal obligations and personal integrity. Clark's willingness to challenge legal constraints for moral reasons creates tension with the Justice Department representatives.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to defiance, adding depth to the character interactions. The high stakes and confrontational dialogue contribute to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9.4

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and drives the scene forward with intensity. It effectively conveys the conflicting perspectives and motivations of the characters, enhancing the overall tension.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense dialogue exchanges, moral dilemmas, and power struggles that keep the audience invested in the characters' decisions and conflicts.

Pacing: 8.5

The scene's pacing effectively builds tension through dialogue exchanges and character interactions, leading to a climactic decision moment that propels the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to expected formatting standards for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character cues, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format typical of legal drama genres, with clear character introductions, escalating tensions, and a climactic decision moment. The pacing and dialogue contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension through the initial confrontation over the presence of the Justice Department deputies, highlighting the paranoia and high stakes of the trial. This mirrors the overarching theme of government overreach and corruption, making it a strong narrative pivot that advances the plot by securing Ramsey Clark as a witness. However, the dialogue occasionally feels overly expository, with characters explicitly stating their motivations and risks, which can reduce subtlety and make the scene less immersive for the audience. For instance, Clark's line 'Found it.' is a nice button, but it might come across as too simplistic without deeper emotional layering, potentially undercutting the gravity of his decision.
  • Character interactions are dynamic and reveal personalities well—Kunstler's frustration and Tom's impulsiveness add authenticity—but the scene could benefit from more nuanced development. Tom's interruption to urge Clark to 'find some courage' feels a bit forced and stereotypical, as it positions him as the passionate idealist without showing internal conflict or growth from previous scenes. This risks making him a one-dimensional figure in this moment, especially given the context from the previous scene where his actions in court were questioned, which isn't fully leveraged here to add depth.
  • Pacing is generally tight, with the confrontation escalating quickly to a satisfying resolution, but the rapid shifts in dialogue and the freeze at the end might feel abrupt. The visual elements, like the framed photos, are used well to establish Clark's background, but they could be integrated more actively into the action to heighten emotional stakes—for example, referencing the photos during dialogue could underscore Clark's internal struggle. Additionally, the scene's length and intensity are appropriate for its position in the script (scene 46 of 60), but it could explore the deputies' reactions more to heighten the sense of risk and make the conflict multi-layered rather than focused solely on Kunstler and Clark.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the script's exploration of justice versus power, with Clark's decision serving as a moral turning point. However, it might lean too heavily on dramatic irony (e.g., the audience knowing the historical context), which could alienate viewers unfamiliar with the real events. The humor in Kunstler's sarcasm is a nice touch, aligning with the script's blend of seriousness and levity, but it could be balanced better to avoid diluting the tension. Overall, while the scene is engaging and plot-driven, it could deepen emotional resonance by showing more of the characters' vulnerabilities and consequences.
  • In terms of cinematic elements, the direction implied in the slug lines and actions (e.g., the room freezing) effectively conveys shock and finality, but the screenplay could use more sensory details to immerse the reader—such as describing the study's atmosphere or the deputies' body language—to make the scene more vivid. Compared to the immediate preceding scenes, which involve courtroom drama and strategic debates, this scene feels like a necessary breather and setup, but it could strengthen transitions by referencing the exhaustion or frustrations carried over from those moments, ensuring a smoother narrative flow.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialogue to add subtext and naturalism; for example, have characters imply their fears through actions or indirect speech rather than stating them outright, making interactions feel more authentic and less theatrical.
  • Develop Tom's character arc by tying his outburst to specific events from earlier scenes, such as his standing for the judge, to show evolution or internal conflict, perhaps by adding a brief flashback or reflective pause.
  • Extend pacing in key moments by incorporating more visual beats, like close-ups on facial expressions or objects in the room (e.g., the LBJ photo), to build suspense and allow the audience to absorb the emotional weight before the resolution.
  • Enhance thematic depth by exploring the deputies' perspectives more, perhaps through subtle reactions or a short exchange, to emphasize the broader implications of Clark's decision and reinforce the theme of institutional corruption.
  • Improve integration with the larger script by adding a line or action that references the immediate previous scene's events, such as Kunstler's lingering frustration from the conspiracy office discussion, to create a stronger narrative bridge and maintain momentum.



Scene 47 - Chaos in the Courtroom
162 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 162
TITLE:
Trial Day 124
KUNSTLER
The defense calls Ramsey Clark.
SCHULTZ
Your Honor, the People move to
disallow this witness.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I’d like the marshals to take the
jury from the room.
As the marshals lead the jury out of the room we see that
HOWARD and CALLEY are in the gallery now--poker faced.
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
Mr. Schultz?
SCHULTZ
The Code of Federal Regulations
mandates that the disclosure of
Justice Department material is
prohibited without prior knowledge
of the Attorney General--plainly
meaning the sitting Attorney
General--who is John Mitchell who
has specifically denied his
approval.
WEINGLASS
Judge, the rule refers to very
specific kinds of documents and
information. If the regulation was
interpreted as Mr. Schultz is
asking it to be, nobody in the
federal government would ever be
able to testify in a trial after
leaving their job.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
I think the government is at least
justified in asking the defense to
demonstrate by voir dire the
testimony it expects to illicit
from the witness.
KUNSTLER
You’d like us to question the
witness outside the presence of the
jury?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
If I find any of the testimony
relevant I’ll call the jury back in
to hear it.
(pause)
Take it or leave it, Mr. Kunstler.
KUNSTLER doesn’t have a choice...
KUNSTLER
Defense calls Ramsey Clark.
CLARK steps to the witness box where the BAILIFF is ready
with a Bible.
BAILIFF
State your name.
CLARK
William Ramsey Clark.
BAILIFF
Do you swear that the testimony you
give will be the truth, the whole
truth and nothing but the truth?
CLARK
I do.
KUNSTLER
Mr. Clark, what was your occupation
in the summer of 1968?
CLARK
I was Attorney General of the
United States.
KUNSTLER
You were appointed by President
Johnson.

CLARK
Yes.
KUNSTLER
And confirmed by the United States
Senate.
CLARK
Yes.
KUNSTLER
Did you receive a phone call at
your office at 11:50 A.M. On
September 10th of last year?
CLARK
Yes.
KUNSTLER
From whom was the call?
CLARK
President Johnson.
KUNSTLER
Will you state what President
Johnson said to you and what was
said to him?
SCHULTZ
Your Honor, at this point we’ll
object. A cabinet officer does not
have to and should not have to
relate the contents a private call
he had with the President.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
I’ll sustain the objection.
KUNSTLER
Please the court, this is voir
dire, I thought objections were
reserved.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
There’s a question of
attorney/client privilege to
consider.
CLARK
The president isn’t a client of the
Attorney General.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
(beat)
Excuse me, sir?
CLARK
The president isn’t a client of the
Attorney General. I’m happy to
answer.
There’s a moment of awkward silence...
SCHULTZ
Your Honor, I don’t--hearing from
the witness on this point is highly
irregular.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
(pause)
Well gentlemen, I’m...This is my
courtroom but the witness is the
former--he’s--and he’s just stated
his willingness, you know--so for
the purposes of voir dire I’ll hear
the answer.
CLARK
The President asked me if I
intended to seek any indictments
related to the riots the previous
month in Chicago.
KUNSTLER
And what did you tell him?
CLARK
I told him we wouldn’t be seeking
indictments.
KUNSTLER
Can you tell us why?
CLARK
An investigation by our criminal
division led to the clear
conclusion that the riots were
started by the Chicago Police
Department.
The DEFENDANTS--except TOM and RENNIE--along with many in the
gallery jump up and CHEER, banging the table and shouting.
KUNSTLER gives them a look as JUDGE HOFFMAN gavels the room
to order.

KUNSTLER
Did your counter-intelligence
division make a report as well.
CLARK
They concluded that there had been
no conspiracy on the part of the
defendants to incite violence
during the convention.
KUNSTLER
What happened on the first Tuesday
after the first Monday in November
of that year?
CLARK
Richard Nixon was elected
president.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Sustained.
KUNSTLER
(beat)
Nobody objected.
SCHULTZ
We do. It’s well known that there’s
no love lost between the witness
and the sitting Attorney General.
The witness has been called to wage
a political attack and he should
not be allowed to appear before the
jury.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Kunstler?
KUNSTLER
Your Honor can’t possibly be
considering not allowing the jury
to hear what we’ve just heard.
SCHULTZ
The witness can’t present to them
testimony that will assist in
making a determination of guilt or
innocence.
KUNSTLER
He just testified that his own
Justice Department came to the
conclusion--

SCHULTZ
And the current Justice Department--
the only one that matters--came to
a new conclu--
KUNSTLER
And therefore the motivation of the
prosecution is now called into--
SCHULTZ
The motivation of the prosecution
isn’t an issue in a courtroom.
KUNSTLER
Not any courtroom I’ve ever been in
except this one!
FORAN
Object!
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Kunstler, do you have any
further examination that will
demonstrate that this witness will
make a material contribution or
should I ask him to step down?
KUNSTLER
You’ve ruled? You’re not going to
let the jury hear his testimony?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Not unless you can demonstrate to
me, which you have not thus far
done, that this witness-
KUNSTLER
Yes sir.
KUNSTLER gathers himself, then says quietly to the COURT
REPORTER--
KUNSTLER (CONT'D)
(quietly)
Are you any good?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Are you addressing the Court
Reporter?
KUNSTLER
(quietly)
Keep up with us..

JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Kunstler.
Like a speed drill--
KUNSTLER
(to CLARK)
Is this prosecution politically
motivated?
SCHULTZ
Object!
CLARK
Yes.
KUNSTLER
President Nixon inherited an
unpopular war?
CLARK
Yes.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Step down please, Mr. Clark.
CLARK
And your clients are making it more
unpopular every day.
KUNSTLER
The administration’s paranoid about
the SDS, the MOBE, the New Left?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Mr. Clark, please.
(beat)
Please, I’ll be forced to find you
in Contempt. You understand.
CLARK
(pause)
I do, Your Honor.
KUNSTLER
(pause)
Thank you, sir.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
You may step down.
CLARK gets up, shares a look with KUNSTLER, and exits...

KUNSTLER
Your Honor, when the jury returns,
will they be informed that the
defense had called the former
Attorney General but that the Court
ruled he couldn’t testify?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
No, that motion will be denied.
KUNSTLER goes back to his table. Then he absently picks up a
heavy law book and SLAMS it on the table with a BANG.
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
Cite Mr. Kunstler with his third
count of Contempt.
DAVE
(quietly)
You’re a thug.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Did one of the defendants speak?
DAVE
(standing)
I did. I said you’re a thug and you
are.
TOM
(quietly)
Dave--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Please sit, Mr. Dellinger.
DAVE
If we’re guilty, why not give us a
trial? If we’re--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Marshals, seat the defendant.
DAVE
If we’re guilty, as you clearly
decided--
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Watch yourself.
DAVE
--decided we were a long time ago--
(to a MARSHAL)
You don’t need to grab my arm.
(MORE)

DAVE (CONT'D)
(to JUDGE HOFFMAN)
If we’re guilty, then why not give
us a trial? I’ve sat here for six
months and watched you--
(to a MARSHAL)
I’m asking you not to grab--
But A DIFFERENT MARSHAL grabs him. DAVE throws his arm off,
then punches him in the face, sending the MARSHAL to the
floor.
It all happened too fast.
The GALLERY and the DEFENDANTS jump up as the MARSHALS jump
up as DAVE’s taken down by the other MARSHALS then dragged to
his feet with his arms twisted behind him.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Take him outa here. Lock him up!
As DAVE gets handcuffed, he looks to the back of the
courtroom where his young son is looking at him.
DAVE
(calling)
I hit him. I’m sorry.
The MARSHALS have him out the door.
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary On Trial Day 124, defense attorney Kunstler calls former Attorney General Ramsey Clark to testify about the Chicago riots, revealing that the police instigated the violence and denying any conspiracy by the defendants. Despite the explosive revelations, Judge Hoffman rules that the jury will not hear Clark's testimony, leading to frustration from Kunstler and a chaotic outburst from defendant Dave Dellinger, who assaults a marshal and is forcibly removed from the courtroom. The scene captures escalating tensions and confrontations within the courtroom.
Strengths
  • Intense courtroom drama
  • Revealing government interference
  • Strong character reactions
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion due to legal intricacies

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is intense, well-structured, and crucial to the plot, with high stakes and emotional impact.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of revealing government interference and political motivations adds depth to the narrative and raises important questions.

Plot: 9.2

The plot advances significantly with the revelation of government actions and the resulting courtroom drama.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to courtroom drama by delving into legal regulations, attorney-client privilege, and the pursuit of justice from multiple perspectives. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.1

The characters are well-developed and their reactions to the testimony add layers to their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 9

The characters experience shifts in their beliefs and perceptions due to the testimony, leading to potential changes in their actions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to present a strong defense and challenge the prosecution's objections to allow the witness testimony. This reflects the protagonist's need for justice, fairness, and the desire to protect their clients.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to have the former Attorney General testify and present crucial information to support their case. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of overcoming legal obstacles and objections to present key evidence.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.3

The conflict is intense and multi-layered, involving legal, political, and personal elements that heighten the drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with legal objections, power struggles, and conflicting interpretations of legal regulations creating obstacles for the protagonist. The audience is kept uncertain about the trial's outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the testimony challenges the integrity of the legal system and exposes political manipulation, impacting the fate of the defendants.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing crucial information and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected turns in legal arguments, objections, and the protagonist's strategies to overcome obstacles. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of the trial's outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the interpretation of legal regulations, attorney-client privilege, and the pursuit of justice. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the fairness of the legal system and the importance of transparency in legal proceedings.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.2

The scene evokes strong emotions through the revelation of government actions and the characters' passionate responses.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and drives the conflict forward, enhancing the tension in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high tension, strategic maneuvering, and the clash of legal arguments. The audience is drawn into the courtroom drama and invested in the outcome of the trial.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension, maintaining the rhythm of legal arguments, and emphasizing key moments of conflict and revelation. The pacing enhances the scene's impact and engagement.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a courtroom setting, with proper scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue formatting. The formatting enhances the clarity and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a courtroom drama, with clear delineation of characters, legal arguments, objections, and the judge's rulings. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively escalates tension and conflict, mirroring the chaotic nature of the trial and reinforcing the script's themes of injustice and political motivation. However, the rapid succession of objections, testimony, and outbursts can feel overwhelming, potentially confusing the audience and reducing emotional impact by not allowing enough time for key revelations, like Clark's testimony about the police starting the riots, to sink in. This could be improved by incorporating more visual cues or pauses to heighten drama and give viewers a moment to process the information.
  • Character development is strong in showing Dave Dellinger's loss of composure as a pacifist, which is a poignant moment that highlights his internal conflict and growth throughout the script. That said, the other defendants' reactions during the chaos are somewhat generic, with cheering and table-banging that could be more individualized to distinguish their personalities— for instance, Abbie's sarcasm or Jerry's defiance could be woven in more explicitly to make the group dynamic feel richer and less homogeneous.
  • The dialogue serves the plot well by delivering critical exposition and advancing the story, but some lines, such as Clark's straightforward recounting of the phone call and his conclusions, come across as overly expository and lack the nuance of real conversation. This can make the scene feel more like a lecture than a dramatic exchange, potentially alienating viewers who might prefer subtler hints at the political underpinnings rather than direct statements.
  • Thematically, the scene underscores the bias of the judicial system and the personal toll on the defendants, which aligns with the overall narrative of the Chicago 7 trial. However, the judge's decisions, while historically accurate to portray bias, risk veering into caricature if not balanced with moments that humanize him or show complexity, which could make the conflict feel more nuanced and less black-and-white, enhancing the audience's understanding of systemic issues.
  • Visually and cinematically, the scene uses action elements like the gavel, cheering gallery, and physical altercation to create energy, but it could benefit from more descriptive staging to emphasize the power dynamics—such as camera angles showing the judge's elevated position or close-ups on the defendants' faces during key moments—to make the courtroom feel more immersive and heighten the emotional stakes for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more pauses or reaction shots in the action lines to slow down the pacing during high-tension moments, such as after Clark's revelation, allowing the audience to absorb the information and build suspense before the next outburst.
  • Differentiate the defendants' responses to the testimony and chaos by adding specific dialogue or actions that reflect their individual arcs— for example, have Abbie make a witty aside or Jerry shout a provocative slogan—to make the group interactions more dynamic and true to their established characters.
  • Refine expository dialogue by using subtext or indirect methods to convey information; for instance, have Clark hint at the investigation's findings through a more conversational tone, making the testimony feel less scripted and more engaging.
  • Add a brief moment of hesitation or internal conflict for Dave before he punches the marshal, perhaps through a facial expression or a line of thought, to deepen his character moment and emphasize the theme of non-violence being tested, making his action more impactful.
  • Strengthen the connection to the previous scene by including a subtle reference or visual callback to the conspiracy office discussion about calling Clark, such as a quick shot of Kunstler recalling that moment, to improve narrative flow and remind the audience of the buildup.



Scene 48 - Tensions Rise in the Conspiracy Office
163 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 163
The DEFENDANTS--minus DAVE--are sitting around the
entryway...dejected.
The PHONE RINGS...JERRY picks up the receiver and hangs up.
JERRY
There’s only one thing--one thing
to do. Solidarity with Dave.
Tomorrow we go into court and get
ourselves arrested.
TOM
We’re already arrested.
JERRY
(pause)
Is Bill talking to you about taking
the stand?
(beat)
(MORE)

JERRY (CONT'D)
Some of the press guys are saying
Bill’s been talking to you about
taking the stand.
TOM
He’s been talking to me about it.
JERRY
He thinks you might get the crowd
worked up with a position paper?
TOM
Maybe he thinks I won’t try to get
the crowd worked up at all. Maybe
he thinks there are jurors who’ve
relied on the safety of the police
and are put off when someone calls
them pigs. Or maybe he just wants a
witness who dresses like a grown
man.
JERRY
The cops in this city in the summer
of 1968 were pigs.
TOM
I wonder how many of them have kids
in Vietnam.
JERRY
(to ABBIE)
He’s gonna take the stand, not you?
(beat)
We’re okay with that?
ABBIE’s lost in thought...
JERRY (CONT'D)
Abbie!
ABBIE
(to TOM)
What did you mean the last thing I
want is to end the war?
TOM
(long pause)
What?

ABBIE
Like...50 years ago when the trial
started you said, “Why did you come
to Chicago?” and I said, “To end
the war”, and you turned to
everyone and said, “The last thing
he wants is to end the war.” What
did you mean by that?
TOM
I meant that you’re making the most
of your close-up.
ABBIE
Yeah?
TOM
No more war, no more Abbie Hoffman.
ABBIE
What’s your problem with me,
Hayden?
TOM
I really wish people would stop
asking me that question.
RENNIE
Hey, Dave wouldn’t want us to
fight.
ABBIE
Answer it. One time.
TOM
Alright. For the next 50 years,
when people think of progressive
politics, they’re gonna think of
you. They’re gonna think of you and
your idiot followers passing out
daisies to soldiers and trying to
levitate the Pentagon. They’re not
gonna think of equality or justice,
they’re not gonna think of
education or poverty or progress.
They’re gonna think of a bunch of
stoned, lost, disrespectful, foul-
mouthed, lawless losers. And so
we’ll lose elections.
ABBIE
All because of me.

TOM
Mm-hm.
ABBIE
And winning elections, that’s the
first thing on your wish list?
Equality, justice, education,
poverty and progress--they’re
second?
TOM
If we don’t win elections it
doesn’t matter what’s second and
it’s astonishing that someone still
has to explain that to you.
There’s a long silence...
RENNIE
(pause)
Okay, so Jerry was talking about--
ABBIE
(quietly)
We don’t have any money.
TOM
I’m sorry?
ABBIE
We don’t have any money. So I stage
stunts and cameras come,
microphones come. And it’s
astonishing that someone still has
to explain that to you.
TOM
You’re trading a cow for magic
beans.
JERRY
That ended up working.
TOM
What?
JERRY
The magic beans. There was a giant
up there. I can’t remember what
happened after that, the little boy
may have gotten eaten.

FROINES
No, the giant turned out to be
nice.
JERRY
Are you sure?
FROINES
No.
WEINER
It’s almost hard to believe the
seven of us weren’t able to end a
war.
ABBIE
(to TOM)
Lemme ask you something.
RENNIE
You guys should just shake hands.
ABBIE
You think Chicago would’ve gone
differently if Kennedy got the
nomination?
TOM
Do I think--
(laughs a little)
Yes, it--yes. The Irish guys would
have sat down with Daley and--yes.
ABBIE
I think so too.
TOM
Yeah.
ABBIE
That’s why I was wondering--weren’t
you just a little bit happy when
the bullet ripped through his head?
(beat)
No Chicago, no Tom Hayden.
TOM looks at ABBIE for a moment in stunned disbelief, then
lunges at him--
TOM
I WAS ONE OF HIS PALLBEARERS!
Everyone immediately reacts--

ABBIE
(pushing him off)
That’s right!
(beat)
We’re not going to jail because of
what we did, we’re going to jail
because of who we are. Think about
that the next time you shrug off
cultural revolution. We define
winning differently you and me.
KUNSTLER comes in with WEINGLASS.
ABBIE (CONT'D)
Bill, you shoulda seen it. Tom
tried to beat me up but through
sheer of force of intellectual
superiority--
KUNSTLER
Stop talking.
(beat)
Just stop talking.
KUNSTLER reaches into his bag and pulls out an envelope.
KUNSTLER (CONT'D)
Foran’s office turned this over
tonight in discovery. It was given
to them by somebody in the crowd.
KUNSTLER’s taken a reel-to-reel tape out of the envelope.
KUNSTLER (CONT'D)
No foul play, there are affidavits,
they really did just get this.
TOM
What’s on the tape?
KUNSTLER
The sound of you starting the
Chicago riot.
KUNSTLER goes into the living room and everyone follows.
TOM
(pause)
What?
KUNSTLER
Somebody had a tape recorder at the
band shell.
(MORE)

KUNSTLER (CONT'D)
They’ve got you saying it. It’s a
clear tape. You can’t take the
stand.
TOM
I can handle Schultz and the tape.
KUNSTLER
No.
TOM
They’re going to play the tape
anyway, right?
KUNSTLER
If you take the stand they’ll make
you answer for it and you can’t.
TOM
They’d just cracked Rennie’s head
open.
KUNSTLER
So you started a riot--defense
rests.
TOM
They’d just cracked--
KUNSTLER
“If blood is going to flow--”
TOM
Bill--
KUNSTLER
“--let it flow all over the city.”
TOM
They’d just clubbed Rennie.
KUNSTLER
Everybody kept their cool. Abbie,
Dave, shit--
(pointing to JERRY)
--this guy kept his cool! You’re
the one who lost it.
TOM
I can take the stand.
KUNSTLER
You want to hear what the cross
from Schultz is gonna sound like?

TOM
Sure. I’ll show you what my
answers’ll sound like.
164 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 164
A giant CROWD OF DEMONSTRATORS is listening to DAVE introduce
a speaker. TOM, ABBIE and JERRY are standing off to the side
on stage. RENNIE’s way in the back of the crowd.
DAVE
They called him a radical. They
called him a criminal. They called
him un-American.
In the back of the crowd, RENNIE looks to his left where a
young guy is starting to climb a flagpole.
TOM, from the stage, looks to the back of the crowd and sees
the same thing.
TOM (V.O.)
First of all, it turned out the guy
climbing the flagpole was a kid.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In scene 48, the defendants gather in the conspiracy office at night, feeling dejected without Dave. Jerry suggests they show solidarity by getting arrested in court, leading to a heated debate between Tom and Abbie over activism strategies. Abbie accuses Tom of hindering progress, while Tom criticizes Abbie's methods as foolish. Their argument escalates to a physical confrontation, interrupted by Rennie's mediation. The tension heightens when Kunstler reveals a tape of Tom inciting a riot, advising him against testifying. The scene ends with a flashback to the Grant Park event, underscoring the gravity of their situation.
Strengths
  • Intense character interactions
  • Revealing dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of action
  • Heavy reliance on dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is rich in emotional depth and conflict, with intense character interactions and revelations that drive the narrative forward.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of ideological clashes, personal motivations, and the consequences of actions is effectively explored through character interactions and dialogue.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced through character revelations, conflicts, and the exploration of differing perspectives, adding depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on activism and political movements, delving into the complexities of idealism and pragmatism. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and offer a nuanced portrayal of the challenges they face.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Character interactions drive the scene, showcasing deep-seated beliefs, conflicts, and emotional responses, adding layers to the narrative.

Character Changes: 9

Character dynamics shift as deep-seated beliefs and conflicts come to the surface, leading to introspection and confrontations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his beliefs and values in the face of opposition from his peers. He wants to defend his actions and motivations, showcasing his commitment to his ideals.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the legal challenges they are facing and strategize their defense in court. They are considering taking bold actions to show solidarity with their friend and fellow defendant.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, showcasing the characters' differing beliefs, motivations, and emotional responses.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and actions. The uncertainty of the characters' decisions adds to the tension.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident through the characters' ideological clashes, personal sacrifices, and the consequences of their actions, adding tension and depth to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing character motivations, conflicts, and ideological clashes, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in its character dynamics and the unexpected revelations that challenge the characters' beliefs and actions. It keeps the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around differing approaches to activism and political change. The characters debate the effectiveness of their methods and the impact of their actions on their cause.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.8

The scene evokes strong emotions through intense character interactions, conflicts, and revelations, engaging the audience on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is intense, revealing character motivations, conflicts, and emotional depth, driving the scene's tension and narrative progression.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense emotional conflicts, sharp dialogue, and the characters' compelling interactions. The tension and drama hold the audience's attention.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing the dialogue and character interactions to unfold naturally. It maintains a rhythm that enhances the emotional impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue. It enhances the readability and impact of the dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the characters' interactions and the progression of the dialogue. It maintains a cohesive narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the internal conflicts among the defendants, highlighting the ideological rift between Tom Hayden and Abbie Hoffman, which is a strength in character development. This confrontation deepens the audience's understanding of their differing approaches to activism—Tom's focus on electoral politics versus Abbie's embrace of cultural revolution—and ties into the broader themes of the screenplay, such as the cost of dissent and the fragmentation within the anti-war movement. However, the escalation to physical violence feels somewhat abrupt and could benefit from more subtle buildup to make it feel earned, as the transition from verbal sparring to a lunge might come across as melodramatic without sufficient foreshadowing of their pent-up frustrations.
  • Dialogue in this scene is sharp and historically evocative, mirroring the real-life personalities of the Chicago 7, but some lines, particularly the exposition about past events (e.g., Tom's reference to the trial's start and Abbie's recollection), risk feeling redundant or overly explanatory. This could dilute the immediacy of the conflict, as the audience might already be familiar with these details from earlier scenes, making the dialogue less dynamic and more like a recap rather than advancing the narrative or revealing new insights.
  • The revelation of the incriminating tape recording serves as a strong plot twist that raises the stakes for Tom and underscores the theme of surveillance and government overreach, which is consistent with the screenplay's overarching narrative. However, the way the tape is introduced—casually handed over by the prosecution—might feel convenient or contrived, potentially undermining the tension if it appears too coincidental. Additionally, the cut to the flashback at the end provides context but disrupts the scene's emotional climax in the office, shifting focus away from the characters' raw interactions and into a more expository mode, which could confuse viewers or dilute the impact of Kunstler's warning.
  • Emotionally, the scene conveys a sense of dejection and exhaustion among the defendants, effectively building on the chaos from Scene 47 where Dave is removed from court. This continuity strengthens the narrative flow, showing the group's demoralization and internal divisions. That said, Abbie's provocative question about Robert Kennedy's assassination is a bold choice that heightens drama, but it may border on insensitive or historically inaccurate without careful handling, as it could misrepresent the characters' complexities and alienate audience empathy if not balanced with their established motivations and relationships.
  • Structurally, the scene maintains good pacing with a mix of quiet reflection and explosive conflict, fitting well into the trial's progression as Scene 48 out of 60. It advances character arcs and plot by setting up Tom's dilemma with the tape, but the humor injected through Jerry, Froines, and Weiner's aside about magic beans feels tonally inconsistent with the scene's otherwise serious tone, potentially undercutting the gravity of the moment and making the transition to the serious confrontation jarring.
Suggestions
  • Add subtle physical cues or micro-expressions earlier in the scene to build tension between Tom and Abbie, such as lingering stares or restrained gestures, to make the physical altercation feel more organic and less sudden, enhancing emotional authenticity.
  • Refine the dialogue to reduce expository elements by focusing on subtext and implication; for example, have characters reference past events more indirectly through metaphors or allusions, allowing the audience to infer connections without explicit retelling, which would tighten the script and improve flow.
  • Integrate the flashback more seamlessly by using it as a voice-over element during Tom's explanation or intercutting it briefly during his dialogue with Kunstler, rather than saving it for the end, to maintain the scene's momentum and keep the focus on the present conflict in the office.
  • Provide more context for Abbie's inflammatory question about Kennedy's assassination, perhaps through a brief internal thought or a line that ties it to their shared history, to ensure it feels character-driven and not gratuitously shocking, thereby preserving audience empathy and thematic depth.
  • Balance the tonal shifts by minimizing or reworking the humorous interlude about magic beans; consider replacing it with a moment that reinforces the group's camaraderie or shared stakes, ensuring the scene remains cohesive and aligned with the overarching tension of the trial narrative.



Scene 49 - Cross-Examination in the Conspiracy Office
165 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 165
KUNSTLER
It seems like you guys attract an
awful lot of underage minors.
TOM
(to WEINGLASS)
You want to object?
WEINGLASS
Objection.
KUNSTLER
Overruled.
TOM
We attract the people who have the
most to lose by this war
continuing.
KUNSTLER
I’m glad you brought that up. Did
you serve?

TOM
I wasn’t drafted. I didn’t try to
evade the--I had a high number.
KUNSTLER
But you didn’t enlist.
TOM
I did not volunteer to kill
Vietnamese people, no.
KUNSTLER
You testified that you saw at least
six policemen start to go after the
man--sorry, kid--who was climbing
the flagpole.
TOM
Yes.
KUNSTLER
It was dark and you were a hundred
yards away. Do you have telescopic
night vision?
TOM
There were floodlights.
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In scene 49, Kunstler aggressively cross-examines Tom in the conspiracy office at night, accusing the group of attracting underage minors and questioning Tom's military service. Despite Weinglass's brief objection, Kunstler continues to challenge Tom's credibility, sarcastically doubting his eyewitness testimony about a police chase. Tom defends himself by explaining their motivations against the war and clarifying that floodlights made the scene visible, maintaining his composure amidst the tense confrontation.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Character exploration
  • Conflict development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may come off as repetitive or overly confrontational

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 7.5

The scene effectively builds tension and conflict through the interrogation, showcasing the defensive nature of the characters and setting a confrontational tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on a pivotal interrogation moment, is strong and effectively drives the narrative forward by revealing key character motivations and beliefs.

Plot: 7

The plot is advanced through the interrogation, providing insight into Tom's character and his perspective on war, adding depth to the overall storyline.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on anti-war sentiments and legal battles, offering a nuanced portrayal of characters' motivations and beliefs. The authenticity of the dialogue adds depth to the interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed in this scene, particularly Tom, whose beliefs and actions are explored in depth during the interrogation.

Character Changes: 7

Tom undergoes a subtle change in his demeanor and reveals more about his beliefs and past actions during the interrogation, adding complexity to his character.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to defend his beliefs and actions regarding the war, reflecting his deeper need for validation and moral integrity.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to present a compelling argument against the war and the actions of law enforcement, reflecting the immediate challenge of proving his innocence and righteousness in the face of opposition.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high, primarily driven by the interrogation and the differing beliefs and perspectives of the characters involved.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, legal challenges, and moral dilemmas creating obstacles for the protagonist to overcome, adding depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high in the scene, especially concerning Tom's beliefs, actions, and the outcome of the interrogation.

Story Forward: 8

The scene significantly moves the story forward by providing crucial insights into Tom's character and motivations, impacting the overall narrative progression.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics, moral ambiguities, and unexpected revelations that keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's anti-war stance conflicting with societal expectations and legal norms. It challenges his values of peace and justice against the backdrop of a war-torn society.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, particularly in showcasing the characters' strong convictions and the tension between them.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and conflict between the characters, especially during the interrogation sequence.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense dialogue, moral dilemmas, and the high stakes involved in the characters' interactions. The audience is drawn into the conflict and the characters' motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for impactful character interactions and revelations to unfold at a compelling rhythm.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards of screenplay format, allowing for clear visualization of the scene's dynamics and character movements.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and conflict through dialogue and character interactions, aligning with the genre's expectations.


Critique
  • This scene feels underdeveloped and abrupt, serving primarily as a continuation of the interrogation from the previous scene without establishing a strong independent purpose. As a standalone moment, it lacks a clear arc or resolution, making it feel like a fragment rather than a complete beat in the narrative. This could confuse readers or viewers who expect each scene to advance the story, character development, or thematic elements more decisively. For instance, the dialogue jumps between topics—minors, military service, and eyewitness testimony—without deep exploration, which dilutes the tension and fails to capitalize on the emotional weight of Tom's character, who has been shown to have internal conflicts about activism and personal responsibility in earlier scenes.
  • The dialogue is overly expository and lacks natural flow, with characters delivering lines that sound more like scripted debates than organic conversation. Tom's responses, such as 'I did not volunteer to kill Vietnamese people, no,' come across as didactic and on-the-nose, which can alienate audiences by prioritizing ideological messaging over character-driven interaction. Additionally, Kunstler's questioning style is repetitive and aggressive, but it doesn't effectively build dramatic tension or reveal new insights into their relationship, making the exchange feel static and less engaging compared to more dynamic scenes in the script that use humor, physical action, or visual contrasts to heighten conflict.
  • Visually, the scene is sparse, with minimal stage directions that could enhance the cinematic quality. The setting in the conspiracy office at night is mentioned, but there's no description of the environment, lighting, or character actions that could convey the fatigue, frustration, or intimacy of the moment. For example, adding details about Tom's body language—such as fidgeting or avoiding eye contact—could better illustrate his defensiveness and tie into his character arc, making the scene more vivid and emotionally resonant. Without these elements, the scene relies too heavily on dialogue, which may not hold audience attention in a visual medium like film.
  • In terms of thematic integration, the scene touches on key themes like anti-war sentiment and personal accountability but does so superficially. It connects to the broader narrative of the trial and the activists' motivations, but it doesn't deepen the audience's understanding of Tom's internal struggle or the group's dynamics. For instance, the reference to attracting 'underage minors' could be an opportunity to explore the ethical complexities of the movement, but it's quickly dismissed, missing a chance to add layers to the characters and the story's exploration of idealism versus pragmatism.
  • The pacing is rushed, with the scene ending abruptly after only a few exchanges, which disrupts the rhythm established in surrounding scenes that often build to climactic moments. This shortness might stem from the scene's role as part of a larger interrogation sequence, but it risks feeling inconsequential, especially when contrasted with more eventful scenes like the courtroom outbursts or physical altercations. Strengthening the connection to the previous scene's revelation of the incriminating tape could help, but as it stands, the scene doesn't effectively escalate tension or provide a satisfying progression toward the flashback or future events.
Suggestions
  • Expand the scene to include more character-driven moments, such as adding pauses, reactions, or subtle actions (e.g., Tom clenching his fists or Kunstler shuffling papers) to build tension and make the dialogue feel more natural and less expository. This could help integrate it better with the previous scene's emotional fallout.
  • Refine the dialogue to incorporate subtext and realism; for example, have Tom respond with a more nuanced deflection or personal anecdote about his draft experience to reveal his character depth without sounding preachy. Similarly, make Kunstler's questions more probing and less repetitive to heighten conflict and advance the plot.
  • Incorporate visual and auditory elements to enhance engagement, such as describing the dim lighting in the office casting shadows on the characters' faces, or adding sound effects like the hum of a tape recorder to remind the audience of the incriminating evidence from the prior scene. This would make the scene more cinematic and less dialogue-heavy.
  • Clarify the scene's purpose by tying it more explicitly to the overarching narrative, such as using it to foreshadow Tom's testimony in court or to explore his guilt over the tape recording. Adding a small revelation or emotional beat could ensure the scene contributes meaningfully to character development and thematic depth.
  • Improve pacing by either lengthening the scene with additional beats or merging it with adjacent scenes to create a more cohesive sequence. For instance, transition more smoothly into the flashback by having Tom's responses trigger visual memories, maintaining the intercutting style used effectively in other parts of the script.



Scene 50 - Tensions Rise at Grant Park
166 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 166
DAVE
And when they called him anti-
American. He said, “No. That
ignominious distinction goes to
those who mouth American values--
POLICEMEN in the back of the crowd see the kid climbing the
flagpole and move in to stop him.
RENNIE and a few others dive into the police, trying to get
them to stop.
DAVE (CONT'D)
--while breaking America’s heart.”
RENNIE
(shouting)
Hey! It’s alright! He’s a kid!
We’ll get him down!
From the stage, TOM can see that a little trouble’s started--

DAVE
I’d like to introduce you now to
Carl Oglesby of the SDS.
TOM
(to himself)
Shit.
167 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 167
KUNSTLER
And?
TOM
The police were shoving Rennie
away.
168 EXT. GRANT PARK/FLAG POLE - NIGHT 168
OFFICER
This doesn’t concern you!
RENNIE
Just leave the kid alone! He’ll
come down!
OFFICER #2
I know who you are! Step back!
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Political"]

Summary During a nighttime rally in Grant Park, Dave delivers a speech on American values while a kid climbs a flagpole, prompting police intervention. Rennie confronts the police, insisting they leave the child alone, escalating the situation. Tom observes the chaos from the stage, expressing concern. The scene shifts to the Conspiracy Office, where Kunstler questions Tom about the incident, highlighting the ongoing tension between protestors and police, which remains unresolved.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in the scene
  • Some dialogue may be overly dramatic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys tension and defiance, with a strong focus on conflict and resolution. The chaotic nature adds depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of resistance and conflict is central to the scene, driving the narrative forward and highlighting the characters' struggles against authority.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly through the confrontation at the flagpole, setting the stage for further developments and character arcs.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on political activism and dissent, with authentic character actions and dialogue that feel genuine and impactful.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' reactions and interactions during the incident reveal their values and motivations, adding depth to their personalities.

Character Changes: 7

The characters exhibit defiance and unity during the incident, showcasing their growth and solidarity in the face of adversity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to stand up for what he believes in and challenge the status quo. This reflects his deeper desire for justice and his fear of remaining silent in the face of injustice.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to protect the kid climbing the flagpole from police intervention and ensure his safety. This reflects the immediate challenge of defying authority and protecting the vulnerable.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the police and protesters escalates the tension, driving the scene's intensity and emotional impact.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting interests and power dynamics creating a sense of unpredictability and challenge for the characters.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of the confrontation add urgency and tension to the scene, emphasizing the risks and consequences faced by the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a significant conflict and highlighting the characters' resilience and determination.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the escalating conflict and the uncertain outcome of the confrontation between the protesters and the police.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident is between upholding American values and criticizing the actions that betray those values. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the integrity of the system and the need for dissent.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions of defiance and solidarity, engaging the audience in the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is intense and impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and conflicts effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, emotional intensity, and the dynamic interactions between characters that keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, maintaining a sense of urgency and momentum that drives the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for the genre, enhancing readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and conflict, aligning with the genre's expectations.


Critique
  • The scene effectively continues the interrogation sequence from the previous scene, maintaining momentum in the trial's flashback structure by intercutting between the conspiracy office and the Grant Park protest. This technique reinforces the theme of revisiting past events to challenge testimony, but the transition feels somewhat abrupt, potentially disorienting the audience without clear visual or auditory cues to signal the shift. For instance, the cut from Tom's muttered 'Shit' in the park to Kunstler's 'And?' in the office could benefit from a smoother bridge, such as a fade or a sound overlap, to emphasize the reflective nature of the testimony and avoid jarring the viewer.
  • Character development is somewhat limited here; Tom's reaction of simply saying 'Shit' conveys frustration but lacks depth, missing an opportunity to explore his internal conflict more fully. Given Tom's established role as a strategic activist, this moment could delve into his decision-making process or show physical cues of his anxiety, making his character more relatable and the scene more emotionally engaging. Similarly, Rennie's intervention with the police is consistent with his portrayal as a peace-oriented activist, but it doesn't add new layers to his arc, feeling repetitive if similar confrontations have been shown earlier in the script.
  • Dialogue is concise and functional, serving to advance the plot and highlight tensions, but it could be more evocative. Dave's speech quote about American values is poignant and ties into the anti-war theme, yet it's cut short by the action, which might dilute its impact. In the conspiracy office, Kunstler's questioning is direct, but it echoes previous interrogations without introducing fresh conflicts or revelations, potentially making the scene feel redundant in the context of the trial's ongoing testimony. This could be an opportunity to deepen the critique of the events, perhaps by incorporating Tom's emotional response to the memory.
  • The visual elements are standard for a screenplay, with clear descriptions of actions and settings, but they lack vivid sensory details that could heighten immersion. For example, the Grant Park sequence describes police moving in and Rennie shouting, but adding details like the sound of the crowd, the feel of the night air, or the visual chaos of the rally could make the flashback more cinematic and immersive, drawing the audience into the historical moment. Additionally, the scene's placement as scene 50 in a 60-scene script positions it in the latter half, where tension should be building toward the climax; however, it risks feeling like a filler moment if it doesn't escalate stakes or reveal critical information that propels the narrative forward.
  • Overall, the scene successfully links the personal and political elements of the story, showing how individual actions in the protest contribute to the broader conspiracy charges. However, it could better balance the flashback with the present-day interrogation to avoid over-reliance on exposition. The end of the scene sets up potential for escalation in subsequent scenes, but it doesn't fully capitalize on the emotional weight of the events, such as the violence against the kid or Rennie's beating, which could be used to evoke stronger sympathy for the defendants and underscore the injustice of the trial.
Suggestions
  • Smooth the transition between the flashback and the conspiracy office by adding a transitional element, such as a voice-over echo of Tom's dialogue or a visual dissolve, to make the shift less abrupt and more fluid, enhancing the audience's understanding of the testimony's reflective nature.
  • Expand Tom's reaction in the Grant Park flashback by including internal thoughts or subtle actions, like him clenching his fists or scanning the crowd worriedly, to better convey his internal conflict and make his character more dynamic and engaging.
  • Enhance the dialogue in both settings by adding more sensory or emotional depth; for example, have Dave's speech include a brief pause for audience reaction or have Kunstler's questioning incorporate references to specific details from earlier scenes to create a stronger narrative thread and avoid repetition.
  • Incorporate more vivid descriptive language in the action lines, such as detailing the sounds of shouting, the flicker of lights on the flagpole, or the physical strain on Rennie's face during his confrontation, to increase tension and immerse the viewer in the chaos of the protest, making the flashback more impactful.
  • Tighten the pacing by ensuring each element advances the plot or character development; consider cutting or condensing redundant dialogue and focusing on key moments, like Rennie's shout or the officer's recognition, to build toward a stronger emotional payoff and maintain momentum in the trial sequence.



Scene 51 - Night of Confrontation
A169 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT A169
TOM
Rennie was just trying to get the
police off of the kid.
KUNSTLER
Get the police off of the kid.
TOM
Yes.
KUNSTLER
How?
TOM
He was--
KUNSTLER
--grabbing them?

B169 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT B169
TOM’s watching helplessly as this develops. The OFFICERS have
the kid pinned against the flagpole now and an OFFICER
punches the kid in the groin as hard as he can. Then does it
again.
RENNIE
Jesus!
RENNIE grabs the OFFICER and pulls him off the kid--
169 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 169
TOM
Outa nowhere--
A170 INT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT A170
A nightstick cracks RENNIE across the face, sending blood
flying.
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Historical"]

Summary In a tense scene intercutting between the Conspiracy Office and Grant Park, Tom explains to Kunstler how Rennie intervened to protect a kid from police brutality. Kunstler expresses skepticism about Rennie's actions, while in the park, Rennie confronts officers who are violently assaulting the child. Despite his pleas for the police to stop, Rennie is struck in the face with a nightstick, resulting in a brutal escalation of violence. The scene captures the urgency and helplessness of the situation, highlighting the conflicts between authority and the desire to protect the vulnerable.
Strengths
  • Emotional intensity
  • Tension-building
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potential for excessive violence portrayal

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, emotionally impactful, and moves the plot forward significantly. It effectively conveys the high stakes and conflict present in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around a pivotal moment of conflict and injustice, effectively portraying the characters' struggles and the themes of the story.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is significantly advanced through the emotional and tense interactions in the scene. It sets the stage for further developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on police brutality and moral dilemmas, presenting authentic character actions and dialogue that resonate with real-world issues.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' emotions and motivations are well portrayed, adding depth to their personalities and driving the conflict forward.

Character Changes: 8

The characters experience emotional turmoil and confrontations that lead to potential changes in their perspectives and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

Tom's internal goal is to protect the kid and navigate the difficult situation unfolding before him. This reflects his deeper need for justice, empathy, and a sense of responsibility.

External Goal: 7.5

Tom's external goal is to intervene and stop the police brutality against the kid. It reflects the immediate challenge of confronting authority and standing up for what is right.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and pivotal, driving the emotional impact and character dynamics.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing difficult challenges and moral dilemmas that create uncertainty and drive the conflict forward.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the scene are evident through the intense conflict and emotional turmoil faced by the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts and emotional dynamics that will impact future events.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden escalation of conflict and the characters' unexpected actions, creating suspense and uncertainty.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the clash between justice and authority. Tom and Rennie are faced with the dilemma of whether to follow the rules or take a stand against injustice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the characters and the audience, creating a powerful and memorable moment.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and emotional turmoil of the characters, enhancing the scene's impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, moral dilemmas, and intense action that keep the audience invested in the characters' struggles.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, maintaining a sense of urgency and emotional impact throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard screenplay format, making the scene easy to follow and visualize for readers and filmmakers.

Structure: 8

The structure follows a dynamic sequence of events that build tension and conflict effectively, aligning with the expected format for a dramatic scene.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the Conspiracy Office and Grant Park effectively builds tension by contrasting the calm, reflective interrogation with the chaotic, violent flashback, but it risks feeling disjointed if the transitions aren't smooth, potentially confusing viewers about the timeline and diminishing emotional impact. This technique is common in screenplays to show backstory, but here it could benefit from clearer cues to maintain narrative flow.
  • The scene vividly portrays police brutality, which aligns with the film's themes of systemic oppression and the Vietnam War era's unrest, helping to humanize the defendants and underscore their innocence. However, the graphic depiction of the officer punching the kid in the groin twice may come across as overly sensationalized, risking audience desensitization or alienation if not balanced with emotional depth, and it might overshadow the subtler character moments like Tom's helplessness.
  • Dialogue in the office feels stilted and expository, with Kunstler's interruptions and Tom's fragmented responses ('Outa nowhere') serving to advance the plot but lacking natural rhythm. This can make the scene feel more like a interrogation script than organic conversation, reducing authenticity and engagement; additionally, it doesn't fully explore the characters' internal conflicts, such as Tom's guilt or Kunstler's skepticism, which could enrich the scene.
  • Visually, the action in Grant Park is strong and cinematic, with elements like blood flying adding intensity, but the scene lacks variety in shot composition or camera movement descriptions, making it feel static in parts. This could limit the visual storytelling potential, especially in a film adaptation, and fail to fully convey the scale of the protest or the characters' emotional states through blocking and facial expressions.
  • The scene effectively escalates conflict from the previous scenes, showing Rennie's confrontation with police as a direct continuation, but it doesn't advance character arcs significantly. For instance, Tom's passive observation reinforces his earlier characterization, but it misses an opportunity to show growth or change, potentially making the sequence feel repetitive in the context of the trial's mounting tensions.
  • Overall, the scene contributes to the screenplay's critique of authority and injustice, but its brevity and focus on violence might prioritize shock value over thematic depth, especially in a later scene (scene 51 of 60). This could weaken the cumulative emotional payoff if similar high-tension moments are frequent, and it doesn't fully integrate with the broader narrative arcs, such as the defendants' unity or fracturing relationships.
Suggestions
  • Improve transitions between intercuts by adding transitional phrases or visual elements, such as a dissolve or a sound bridge, to clearly signal shifts between present and flashback, enhancing clarity and maintaining audience immersion.
  • Balance the graphic violence by incorporating more character-driven reactions or internal monologues, such as Tom's thoughts on his inaction, to add emotional layers and prevent the scene from feeling exploitative; this could deepen audience empathy and tie into the film's anti-war message.
  • Refine dialogue to make it more natural and revealing; for example, expand Tom's 'Outa nowhere' to something like 'It was instinctive—Rennie just lunged in to help,' allowing for better character insight and reducing expository feel while improving pacing.
  • Enhance visual descriptions by specifying camera angles, such as close-ups on Rennie's face during the assault or wide shots of the crowd to emphasize chaos, which would heighten tension and make the scene more dynamic and filmable.
  • Develop character arcs by showing subtle changes, like Tom's hesitation evolving into resolve, to connect this scene to earlier and later events; this could involve adding a brief beat where Tom reflects on his role, strengthening the narrative cohesion.
  • Extend the scene slightly to include a thematic tie-in, such as a quick cut to the trial's consequences or a reference to current events, to reinforce the screenplay's message without overloading the scene, ensuring it contributes more robustly to the overall story.



Scene 52 - Escalation in Grant Park
B170 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT B170
TOM
It was six armed police officers
versus Rennie Davis and a pocket
protector so I can understand that
response.
KUNSTLER
How ‘bout your response. Let’s
press “Play”.
KUNSTLER has a small reel-to-reel tape recorder out now and
hits “play”. It’s a crude recording but we HEAR FROINES--
170 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 170
FROINES steps to the microphone--
FROINES
I’d like to say to the police back
there that we have--we’re allowed
to be here, we have a permit for--
we need medics back there.

The camera is PUSHING IN ON TOM. People have limits and TOM’s
coming face to face with his.
171 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 171
Back to the tape recording--
KUNSTLER
Dellinger tried to stop you from
saying what you were about to say
to the crowd.
172 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 172
DAVE comes over to TOM--
TOM
Rennie’s been beaten.
DAVE
We can--listen to me--we can still
get everybody out of here safely.
TOM
No we can’t.
DAVE
Tell ‘em to stay calm.
TOM
No.
DAVE
They’ll listen to you.
173 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 173
KUNSTLER
Did you tell ‘em to stay calm?
A174 INT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT A174
TOM takes over the microphone from FROINES--
TOM
Rennie Davis has just been beaten
by the police! Rennie’s skull has
been cracked open.
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Political"]

Summary In scene 52, set in a conspiracy office at night, Tom and Kunstler discuss the violent events of the Chicago protests. Kunstler plays a tape of Froines addressing the crowd in Grant Park, asserting their rights amidst police aggression. Flashbacks reveal the chaos as Tom refuses Dave's plea to calm the crowd after Rennie Davis is beaten by police. Tension escalates as Tom takes the microphone to announce Rennie's severe injury, highlighting the growing conflict between protesters and authorities.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Compelling character dynamics
  • High-stakes conflict
Weaknesses
  • Potential for excessive dialogue
  • Risk of overwhelming tension

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is intense, emotionally charged, and pivotal to the plot, with strong character dynamics and high stakes driving the narrative forward.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of escalating tensions, emotional turmoil, and a critical decision adds depth and complexity to the scene, enhancing its dramatic impact.

Plot: 9.2

The plot is significantly advanced through the intense conflict and emotional revelations in the scene, setting the stage for further developments.

Originality: 8.5

The scene presents a fresh take on the clash between activism and authority, with authentic character reactions and dialogue that feel genuine and impactful.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters' emotions, conflicts, and decisions drive the scene's intensity and impact, showcasing their depth and development.

Character Changes: 9

Several characters undergo significant emotional and moral shifts during the scene, leading to pivotal decisions and revealing deeper layers of their personalities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to confront his own limits and come to terms with the reality of the situation unfolding before him. This reflects his deeper need for understanding and acceptance of the harsh truths he is facing.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to communicate crucial information to the crowd and make decisions under pressure to ensure safety and order in a chaotic situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The conflict reaches a peak in the scene, with tensions running high, emotions flaring, and characters facing critical decisions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and high stakes that create tension and uncertainty for the characters and audience.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are exceptionally high in the scene, with characters facing life-changing decisions, moral dilemmas, and the threat of severe consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing key revelations, escalating conflicts, and setting the stage for crucial developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the escalating tension, unexpected turns of events, and the protagonist's decisions that keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's belief in standing up for truth and justice against the backdrop of authority figures trying to suppress information and maintain control through force.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.4

The scene evokes strong emotions in the audience, drawing them into the characters' turmoil and intensifying the dramatic impact.

Dialogue: 8.8

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and conflicts, adding depth and authenticity to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, emotional intensity, and the protagonist's compelling dilemma that keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing effectively builds suspense and emotional impact, creating a sense of urgency and momentum that drives the scene forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards, enhancing readability and clarity for the reader.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively builds tension and conflict, aligning with the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The intercutting technique between the conspiracy office and Grant Park is a strong narrative device that effectively juxtaposes the calm, interrogative atmosphere of the present with the chaotic, violent flashbacks of the past, heightening the emotional stakes and illustrating Tom's internal conflict. However, the transitions can feel abrupt, potentially disorienting the audience if not handled with clearer visual or auditory cues, such as specific sound motifs or smoother crossfades, which could better maintain the flow and prevent the scene from feeling fragmented.
  • Tom's character arc is advanced compellingly here, as he confronts his personal limits and chooses to escalate the protest despite Dave's pleas for calm, showcasing a pivotal moment of defiance. Yet, this escalation might benefit from more subtle buildup; the dialogue and actions in the park could delve deeper into Tom's motivations, perhaps through additional nonverbal cues or a fleeting flashback to his earlier ideals, to make his decision feel less reactive and more tied to his overall journey, ensuring it resonates with viewers familiar with the script's themes.
  • The dialogue in this scene is functional in advancing the plot and revealing character tensions, particularly in Kunstler's probing questions and Tom's defensive responses, but it occasionally veers into expository territory, such as when Tom explains the imbalance of power ('six armed police officers versus Rennie Davis and a pocket protector'). This could be refined to be more naturalistic and less on-the-nose, allowing the audience to infer some details through action and subtext, which would enhance authenticity and engagement in a screenplay that already relies heavily on dialogue-driven scenes.
  • Visually, the Grant Park sequences are vivid and impactful, with elements like the crowd's reaction and the violent imagery of Rennie's beating evoking a sense of urgency and brutality that aligns with the script's tone of societal unrest. In contrast, the conspiracy office scenes are more static and dialogue-heavy, which might cause a dip in visual interest; incorporating dynamic camera movements or symbolic props (e.g., Kunstler fiddling with the tape recorder to mirror Tom's unraveling) could balance the scene's energy and make it more cinematic, preventing it from feeling like a mere interrogation setup.
  • Overall, the scene effectively contributes to the trial's thematic exploration of accountability and the consequences of activism, building on the immediate previous scenes where violence escalates. However, it risks redundancy with earlier confrontations (e.g., Rennie's beating in scene 51), which could dilute its impact if not differentiated enough; strengthening the unique emotional beat—Tom's realization of his own complicity—would make this scene stand out more distinctly within the sequence, providing a clearer progression in the narrative arc leading to the trial's climax.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate transitional elements, such as recurring sound effects (e.g., the hum of the tape recorder bleeding into the park's crowd noise) or visual motifs (e.g., a slow zoom on Tom's face during cuts) to smooth the intercutting and guide the audience more seamlessly between timelines.
  • Enhance Tom's character moment by adding a brief pause or internal reflection before he takes the microphone, perhaps with a close-up shot of his hands trembling or a quick cut to a memory of Rennie's earlier non-violent stance, to deepen the emotional weight and make his decision to incite the crowd feel more conflicted and human.
  • Refine the dialogue to be more concise and layered; for instance, shorten Kunstler's skeptical interruptions and have Tom respond with actions or implied thoughts rather than direct explanations, allowing subtext to carry more of the scene's tension and reducing any sense of repetition from prior scenes.
  • Boost visual storytelling in the office by including physical interactions, such as Kunstler leaning in aggressively or Tom pacing restlessly, to complement the dialogue and maintain a dynamic pace, ensuring the scene remains engaging throughout its intercuts.
  • To avoid thematic overlap with adjacent scenes, emphasize a specific new angle in this scene, such as the personal cost of activism on Tom's psyche, by adding a symbolic visual element (e.g., a bloodstain on Tom's clothing from the flashback) that ties directly into his testimony, reinforcing the scene's role in the larger narrative without redundancy.



Scene 53 - Incitement and Consequences
B174 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT B174
KUNSTLER
Did you tell your crowd to stay
calm or did you--
TOM
Bill--
KUNSTLER
I’m Richard Schultz and John
Mitchell told me to win, Tom. Did
you tell your crowd to stay calm or
did you say--
TOM
Yes. Absolutely. If blood is going
to flow--
174 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 174
TOM
(shouting into the
microphone)
--let it flow all over the city!
DAVE
Goddammit Tom!
TOM
(into the microphone)
If gas is going to be used, let it
come down all over Chicago! We’re
going to the Convention!
The CROWD REACTION, which has been building wildly in volume,
has reached a crescendo--
TOM (CONT'D)
Let’s get on the street! Get on the
street!
175 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 175
KUNSTLER
“If blood is going to flow, let it
flow all over the city.” Was that
an order to start a peaceful
demonstration?

176 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 176
And now we’re on the backs of a line of riot police who are
climbing up the back of a hill in the dark. They get to the
crest of the hill and we see what they see--an ARMY OF
PROTESTORS coming right toward them.
177 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 177
KUNSTLER
Once you’d had a moment to settle
down, did you try top stop people?
178 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 178
The ARMY OF PROTESTORS is getting closer to the BATTALION OF
RIOT POLICE. We HEAR a RADIO COMMAND and--
BAM--tear gas gets shot into the crowd.
BAM BAM BAM--more tear gas gets fired.
We see TIGHT IMAGES of protestors getting cracked in their
heads and across their faces by police batons.
179 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 179
KUNSTLER
You didn’t try to stop anyone.
TOM
No.
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Historical"]

Summary In this intense scene, Kunstler interrogates Tom about his role in inciting violence during the 1968 Democratic National Convention protests. As Kunstler questions Tom's intentions, the scene intercuts with chaotic protests in Grant Park, where Tom's inflammatory rallying cries incite a frenzied crowd. Despite affirming his desire for calm, Tom ultimately admits he did not attempt to de-escalate the situation, highlighting the stark contrast between his words and actions. The scene builds tension through rapid intercutting, showcasing the violent clashes between protestors and riot police.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional impact
  • Character defiance
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion in intercutting scenes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is intense and impactful, effectively portraying the escalation of conflict and the characters' defiance against authority. It captures the chaotic nature of the protest rally and the subsequent confrontation, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the escalation of conflict and defiance against authority, capturing the essence of the characters' struggle for justice and the high stakes involved. It effectively conveys the themes of rebellion and resistance.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the narrative, showcasing a key moment of conflict and character development. It propels the story forward by introducing high stakes and highlighting the characters' defiance and determination.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on protest dynamics, showcasing the complexity of activism and the moral dilemmas faced by leaders in volatile situations. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and resonate with the scene's historical context.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene display strong emotions and convictions, driving the conflict and tension. Their interactions and reactions add depth to the narrative, portraying their defiance and resilience in the face of adversity.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional and psychological changes during the scene, particularly in their defiance and determination to stand up against injustice. The confrontation leads to shifts in their beliefs and actions, driving character development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to maintain a sense of defiance and leadership in the face of escalating conflict. This reflects his need for control and his desire to make a statement, even if it means facing consequences.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to lead the protestors to the Convention despite the growing opposition and police presence. It reflects his immediate challenge of navigating a volatile situation and asserting his authority.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is characterized by a high level of conflict, both internal and external, as the characters face off against authority and confront the challenges of their beliefs and actions. The escalating tensions drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the clash between protestors and police creating a sense of danger and uncertainty. The audience is kept in suspense as the characters face escalating challenges.

High Stakes: 9

The scene features high stakes as the characters confront authority and face the consequences of their actions. The risks involved in their defiance and the potential outcomes raise the tension and importance of the moment.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a key conflict and resolution, advancing the narrative arc and setting the stage for further developments. It propels the plot towards a critical turning point.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the volatile nature of the protest and the uncertain outcomes of the characters' actions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflict will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict lies in the protagonist's approach to protest - whether to incite chaos for a cause or to advocate for peaceful demonstration. This challenges his beliefs on the effectiveness of activism and the moral implications of his actions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a significant emotional impact on the audience, evoking feelings of tension, defiance, and empathy towards the characters. The intense moments and conflicts resonate emotionally, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and conflicts. It enhances the intensity of the confrontation and highlights the characters' defiance and determination.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, conflicting motivations, and dramatic escalation. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and the unfolding chaos, creating a sense of urgency and suspense.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds suspense and momentum, capturing the rapid escalation of events and the characters' emotional turmoil. The rhythmic shifts between dialogue and action enhance the scene's intensity.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting aligns with the genre expectations, utilizing concise scene descriptions and impactful dialogue to drive the narrative forward. It enhances the scene's intensity and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a dynamic structure that alternates between the office setting and the protest, building tension and highlighting the protagonist's dual roles. The formatting effectively conveys the chaotic nature of the events.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the conspiracy office and the Grant Park flashback effectively builds tension and juxtaposes the reflective interrogation with the chaotic action, but it risks feeling disjointed if the transitions aren't seamless. This technique can confuse viewers who are not fully oriented, especially in a high-stakes scene like this, where rapid cuts might dilute the emotional weight of Tom's admissions in the office versus the visceral violence in the park. As a screenwriter, ensuring that each cut serves a clear purpose—such as mirroring Kunstler's questioning with specific visual recalls—could strengthen the narrative flow and help the audience better connect the dots between past events and present testimony.
  • Tom's character portrayal in this scene shows a shift from his earlier, more calculated demeanor to one of outright incitement, which is a powerful character arc moment. However, this escalation feels abrupt without sufficient buildup or internal monologue to justify his rage. In the context of the previous scenes, where Tom is shown as observant and somewhat restrained (e.g., muttering 'Shit' in Scene 52), this outburst might come across as inconsistent unless tied more explicitly to his emotional state, such as the immediate aftermath of Rennie's beating. This could alienate readers or viewers who expect character development to be gradual and motivated, potentially weakening the scene's impact on understanding Tom's ideological evolution.
  • The dialogue, particularly Tom's shouted lines like 'If blood is going to flow, let it flow all over the city!' and 'We’re going to the Convention!', is dramatically charged and serves to heighten conflict, but it borders on melodramatic and could feel anachronistic or overly scripted. In screenwriting, dialogue should reveal character and advance the plot without sounding like a slogan; here, it risks coming off as didactic, which might distance the audience from the authenticity of the moment. Comparing this to historical rhetoric, the lines could be refined to better reflect the era's language while maintaining their provocative edge, ensuring they feel organic to Tom's voice rather than expository.
  • Visually, the scene excels in depicting the brutality of the protest with tight images of tear gas and baton strikes, which immerses the viewer in the chaos and underscores the theme of state violence. However, the conspiracy office segments are more static and dialogue-heavy, creating an imbalance that might make the scene feel uneven. This contrast is intentional to highlight the interrogation's intensity, but it could benefit from more dynamic visual elements in the office—such as close-ups on Tom's face showing micro-expressions of guilt or defiance—to maintain engagement and parallel the energy of the flashback sequences, making the overall scene more cinematically compelling.
  • Thematically, the scene effectively explores the consequences of inflammatory rhetoric and the cycle of violence in protests, tying into the broader screenplay's critique of authority and activism. However, it could delve deeper into the moral ambiguity of Tom's actions, especially given the historical context of the Chicago 7 trial. By not fully exploring Tom's internal conflict or the crowd's reaction beyond a general crescendo, the scene misses an opportunity to humanize the protesters and question the ethics of incitement, which might leave readers or viewers with a one-dimensional view of the events. This could be enhanced by adding subtle details that connect to earlier scenes, like referencing Rennie's injury more explicitly, to reinforce the emotional and thematic continuity.
Suggestions
  • Refine the intercutting by adding transitional elements, such as sound bridges or visual motifs (e.g., the sound of Kunstler's voice overlapping with the park's chaos), to make shifts smoother and more intuitive, ensuring the audience stays oriented without losing dramatic momentum.
  • Add a brief moment of internal reflection for Tom in the office, perhaps through a flashback insert or a pause in dialogue where he recalls a personal reason for his anger (e.g., a quick cut to a memory of a past protest), to make his character shift feel more earned and consistent with his arc.
  • Rewrite Tom's rally dialogue to be less declarative and more conversational or improvisational, incorporating pauses, stutters, or crowd interactions to make it feel more authentic and less like a scripted speech, drawing from historical transcripts if available for realism.
  • Incorporate more visual variety in the conspiracy office scenes, such as using lighting changes or camera movements to mirror the tension (e.g., a slow zoom on Tom's face during his admission), to balance the dynamic action in the park and keep the scene visually engaging throughout.
  • Enhance thematic depth by including a short exchange or visual cue that links Tom's actions to the trial's larger stakes, such as a cut to the jury's reaction in a future scene or a line from Kunstler questioning the morality, to encourage audience reflection on the consequences of activism and authority.



Scene 54 - Confrontation at the Bridges
180 EXT. GRANT PARK - NIGHT 180
We see bloody faces on the ground as the feet of the
protestors move by.
TOM is going through the crowd and directing them--
TOM
(shouting)
The bridges! Head to the bridges!
The bridges!

181 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 181
KUNSTLER
You were the one who told people to
go to the footbridges.
TOM
The ones who were able to make it
out of the park without getting
arrested or maimed.
KUNSTLER
And those people, the ones you sent
to the footbridges, did they know
what was waiting for them on the
other side?
182 EXT. FOOTBRIDGE - NIGHT 182
A few hundred protestors who made it through the battalion of
riot police come into view at one end of a footbridge
connecting to Michigan Avenue.
Headlights come into view from the other direction and we see
that the source of the headlights are a moving wall of five
Jeeps outfitted with concertina wire in front.
183 EXT. ANOTHER FOOTBRIDGE - SAME TIME 183
Another group of protestors meets a moving line of NATIONAL
GUARDSMEN with bayonets.
184 EXT. THIRD FOOTBRIDGE - SAME TIME 184
A third group of protestors meet armored vehicles covered
with NATIONAL GUARDSMEN.
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Historical"]

Summary In scene 54, the chaos of a nighttime protest unfolds as injured protestors lie in Grant Park while TOM directs them to escape to nearby footbridges. The scene shifts to a conspiracy office where KUNSTLER interrogates TOM about his decisions, questioning the safety of the protestors he directed. As the scene progresses, we see protestors at three different footbridges facing armed opposition, including jeeps and national guardsmen, highlighting the violent consequences of TOM's actions. The tension escalates as KUNSTLER accuses TOM of negligence, leaving the conflict unresolved and the protestors in imminent danger.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict portrayal
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Thematic resonance
Weaknesses
  • Potential for excessive violence
  • Complexity of intercutting

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the high-stakes conflict and emotional intensity of the situation, driving the plot forward with significant character developments and thematic depth.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of escalating conflict and resistance against authority is effectively portrayed, contributing to the overall tension and thematic exploration of power dynamics and social justice.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly through the intense confrontation, revealing character motivations, deepening conflicts, and setting the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on protest movements and the clash between protestors and authorities. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

Character dynamics are well-developed, with key personalities facing moral dilemmas, engaging in defiant actions, and showcasing their beliefs and convictions under pressure.

Character Changes: 8

Characters undergo significant changes in their beliefs, actions, and relationships during the scene, reflecting the escalating tensions and moral dilemmas they face.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is likely to protect and guide the protestors to safety amidst the escalating conflict. This reflects their deeper need for justice, safety, and a sense of responsibility for the well-being of others.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to lead the protestors to safety across the footbridges and away from the immediate danger posed by the riot police and National Guardsmen.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is intense and multi-layered, involving physical, ideological, and emotional confrontations that drive the narrative tension and highlight the power dynamics at play.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protestors facing formidable obstacles in the form of riot police, National Guardsmen, and armored vehicles, creating uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as characters confront authority, face violence and repression, and make critical decisions that could impact their futures and the outcome of the trial.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by revealing crucial information, deepening conflicts, and setting the stage for pivotal developments in the trial and the characters' arcs.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the uncertain outcomes for the protestors facing off against the authorities, creating suspense and tension.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident is the clash between the protestors' belief in their right to protest and the authorities' use of force to suppress dissent. This challenges the protagonist's values of freedom, justice, and standing up against oppression.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions of defiance, anger, and solidarity, immersing the audience in the characters' struggles and the turbulent events unfolding.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is intense, confrontational, and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the characters' motivations, conflicts, and the high stakes of the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, intense conflict, and the protagonist's compelling struggle to protect the protestors amidst escalating danger.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome of the conflict.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, effectively conveying the action and dialogue in a clear and engaging manner.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict leading to a climactic moment.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the Conspiracy Office interrogation and the chaotic events at the footbridges effectively builds tension and illustrates the consequences of Tom's actions, creating a rhythmic contrast that mirrors the script's themes of accountability and the ripple effects of activism. However, this technique risks feeling mechanical if not executed with precise pacing, potentially overwhelming the audience with rapid cuts that could dilute emotional impact rather than amplify it. In this scene, the back-and-forth successfully connects the intellectual discussion in the office to the visceral violence outside, helping viewers understand Tom's role in escalating the conflict, but it might benefit from more seamless transitions to avoid abruptness that could disrupt immersion.
  • The dialogue in the Conspiracy Office is functional for exposition, clearly conveying Kunstler's accusatory tone and Tom's defensive responses, which reinforces character dynamics and the trial's investigative nature. That said, it occasionally veers into overly direct questioning ('did they know what was waiting for them?'), which can feel didactic and less cinematic, prioritizing information dump over subtle character revelation. This approach might alienate viewers who prefer show-don't-tell storytelling, as it tells the audience about the dangers rather than letting the visuals and actions speak for themselves, potentially reducing the scene's dramatic depth and making Tom's character seem more reactive than introspective.
  • Visually, the scene is strong in depicting the brutality of the protests through the simultaneous shots of the footbridges, using vivid imagery like jeeps with concertina wire and national guardsmen with bayonets to evoke a sense of overwhelming oppression and chaos. This not only heightens the stakes but also ties into the broader narrative of police and military overreach, making the scene a powerful commentary on the era. However, the repetition across the three footbridge locations could come across as redundant, lacking unique focal points or character-driven moments that differentiate each encounter, which might cause the audience to lose interest or feel the sequence is formulaic rather than escalating in intensity.
  • Emotionally, the scene captures the futility and horror of the protests through Tom's directions and the violent outcomes, aligning with the script's exploration of moral ambiguity in activism. Tom's shout to 'head to the bridges' and the subsequent clashes effectively convey his flawed decision-making, but the scene could delve deeper into his internal conflict—perhaps through facial expressions or subtle physicality—to make his regret or defiance more palpable. As it stands, the emotional layer feels somewhat surface-level, relying on the action to carry the weight, which might not fully engage viewers on a personal level, especially in a story centered on character-driven drama like this one.
  • In terms of narrative flow, as scene 54 in a 60-scene script, this moment maintains momentum by directly following the admission of inaction in scene 53, escalating the interrogation and showing immediate repercussions. It serves as a pivotal link in Tom's character arc, highlighting his shift from observer to instigator, but it could be more integrated with the trial's overarching themes by incorporating subtle references to the courtroom setting or other defendants' perspectives. Without this, the scene might feel somewhat isolated, focusing narrowly on Tom and Kunstler, potentially missing an opportunity to weave in the ensemble's dynamics or broader societal critiques that are central to the script's identity.
Suggestions
  • Refine the intercutting by adding transitional elements, such as sound bridges or overlapping dialogue, to create smoother flow and build suspense more gradually, ensuring the audience feels the weight of each cut without disorientation.
  • Make the dialogue less expository by incorporating subtext; for example, have Kunstler use rhetorical questions or pauses that allow Tom to reveal more through action or inference, turning the interrogation into a more nuanced character study rather than straightforward recounting.
  • Differentiate the footbridge sequences by assigning specific, character-focused details to each one—such as a protestor we recognize from earlier scenes being injured in one, or a unique sound design for each location—to add variety and emotional investment, preventing the visuals from feeling repetitive.
  • Enhance emotional depth by including close-ups on Tom's face during his shouts in the park and his responses in the office, with directing notes for subtle expressions of guilt or determination, to make his internal struggle more evident and relatable to the audience.
  • Strengthen narrative integration by adding a brief reference to the trial's context, like a cutaway to a photo of Rennie or a mention of how this event ties to witness testimonies, to better connect the flashback to the present-day story and reinforce the script's thematic unity.



Scene 55 - Navigating Chaos: The Path to the Convention
185 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 185
KUNSTLER
All access to the convention was
blocked.
TOM
By an armored division.

KUNSTLER
Of the Illinois National Guard,
they’re the good guys.
TOM
Jeeps fitted with concertina wire
called Daley Dozers, and when did I
stop being one of the good guys?
KUNSTLER
Let’s find out. Were glass bottles
being thrown at the police?
A186 EXT. FIRST FOOTBRIDGE - NIGHT A186
We see glass bottles flying through the air and crashing on
the street in front of the police.
DAVE
Shit, no!
DAVE starts making his way through the crowd--
DAVE (CONT'D)
(shouting)
Don’t throw anything! Drop the
bottles! Don’t throw anything!
B186 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT (FILE FOOTAGE) B186
TOM
Some people threw bottles. Dave was
the one trying to shut it down.
They were frustrated--all three
footbridges were--
KUNSTLER
You, Abbie, Jerry and 11 others
eluded the police.
TOM
I wouldn’t say we eluded them, I’d
say we were fleeing from them.
KUNSTLER
You found an unguarded bridge.

186 EXT. SMALL FOOTBRIDGE - NIGHT 186
TOM, ABBIE, JERRY and 15 others are standing on one end of a
dark, empty bridge that’s only protected by a police
barricade.
JERRY throws the barricade over and they head across--
187 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 187
ABBIE
Now here’s where things got weird.
188 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - DAY 188
KUNSTLER
You, Abbie, Jerry and 11 others
found the only way to the
convention.
189 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 189
ABBIE
In the lobby of the Hilton, right
next to the Convention Center, is a
bar called the Haymarket Tavern.
The Haymarket Tavern is a watering
hole for Chicago’s political class
and their hookers. And the place
was packed to watch Humphrey
getting the nomination a mile away.
190 INT. HAYMARKET TAVERN - NIGHT 190
The place is crowded with lawyers and their dates who are
partying it up. On the television sets we can see and hear
the roll call vote being taken.
One side of the bar is a floor-to-ceiling picture window.
DELEGATE (FROM TV)
Mr. Chairman, the great state of
Ohio, the Buckeye State--
PATRONS
(toasting)
The Buckeye State!

191 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 191
ABBIE
One side of the Haymarket Tavern is
a huge picture window with smoked
glass. You can’t see inside from
the street.
192 EXT. HAYMARKET TAVERN - NIGHT 192
TOM, ABBIE, JERRY and the others have just about crossed to
the other side of an intersection clogged with police
barricades, police vehicles, ambulances, etc., to a darker
place on the street.
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Historical"]

Summary In scene 55, defense attorney Kunstler interrogates defendant Tom about the events surrounding the 1968 Democratic National Convention, focusing on the barricades set by the Illinois National Guard. Tom expresses frustration over being labeled a 'bad guy' as he recounts the chaotic protests, including the throwing of bottles at police. Flashbacks reveal Dave's attempts to de-escalate the violence, while Tom, Abbie, and Jerry work together to find a way into the convention through the Haymarket Tavern, a bar hidden from the street. The scene captures the tension between protestors and police, culminating in the group navigating through police barricades towards the tavern.
Strengths
  • Effective intercutting of past and present events
  • Strong character dynamics and development
  • Emotional depth and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may require clarification for audience understanding

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends past and present elements to create a tense and reflective atmosphere, with strong character dynamics and emotional depth.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of revisiting past events through interrogation adds depth to the characters and plot, enhancing the overall narrative complexity.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progression is engaging, with a focus on character reflections and the consequences of their actions, driving the story forward effectively.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on historical events by delving into the personal struggles of the characters amidst a politically charged backdrop. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and conflicting motivations that drive the dialogue and actions in the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Characters undergo internal shifts as they confront their past actions and motivations, leading to moments of growth and self-realization.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to reconcile his past actions with his current beliefs and values. Tom is grappling with his identity as one of the 'good guys' while facing the reality of his involvement in the protest.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate through the chaos of the protest and find a way to the convention center. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of evading the police and reaching their destination.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, showcasing the characters' struggles with their past actions and the ongoing repercussions.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and uncertainty, creating obstacles for the characters to overcome and keeping the audience on edge about the outcome.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as characters grapple with legal consequences, personal ethics, and the impact of their activism on themselves and society.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by deepening character arcs, revealing new information, and setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable as the characters face unexpected challenges and moral dilemmas, adding tension and uncertainty to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's internal struggle between his past actions and his current beliefs. It challenges his perception of being one of the 'good guys' while engaging in protest activities that involve conflict and confrontation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and frustration to reflection and defiance, creating a strong emotional impact on the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing character dynamics and inner conflicts while advancing the plot and themes.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced action, moral dilemmas, and historical context, keeping the audience invested in the characters' decisions and the unfolding events.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, maintaining a balance between dialogue-driven moments and action sequences to keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the conventions of screenplay writing, clearly distinguishing between locations and characters for easy visualization.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively transitioning between different locations and characters to advance the plot.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting between multiple locations—the conspiracy office, Grant Park flashbacks, the college auditorium, and the Haymarket Tavern—to juxtapose the interrogation in the present with the chaotic events of the past, which mirrors the film's overarching theme of revisiting and reinterpreting historical events. However, this technique risks becoming overwhelming for the audience due to the rapid shifts, potentially diluting the emotional intensity and making it hard to follow without clear visual or auditory cues to distinguish timelines or settings. In a screenplay nearing its end (scene 55 of 60), this could disrupt the building momentum toward the climax, as the intercuts might feel more like a montage than a focused narrative beat.
  • Dialogue in the scene, particularly Abbie's narration in the auditorium and Tom's explanations in the office, leans heavily on exposition to convey historical and contextual information, such as the description of the Haymarket Tavern and the blocked access to the convention. While this serves to educate the audience about the events, it can come across as overly didactic, reducing the immediacy and engagement of the scene. For instance, Abbie's lines about the tavern being a 'watering hole for Chicago’s political class' feel like a history lesson rather than organic character-driven speech, which might alienate viewers who prefer show-don't-tell storytelling.
  • Character development is somewhat underdeveloped here; Tom's defensive responses to Kunstler's questioning highlight his frustration and guilt, but the scene misses an opportunity to delve deeper into his internal conflict, especially given the context from previous scenes where he's admitted to not de-escalating violence. This could make Tom appear more reactive than proactive, diminishing the complexity of his arc. Similarly, Abbie's narration adds humor and insight but feels detached, not fully integrating with the emotional stakes of the interrogation, which might make his character seem like a comedic relief device rather than a fully fleshed-out participant in the trial's drama.
  • Pacing issues arise from the combination of interrogative dialogue in the office and action-oriented flashbacks, which, while thematically linked, can create a disjointed rhythm. The scene builds tension through the escalation of events in Grant Park and the tavern approach, but the cuts to Abbie's auditorium segments interrupt this flow, potentially confusing the audience about the primary focus. Additionally, the scene's length and detail might repeat motifs from earlier protest scenes (e.g., violence and evasion), risking redundancy in a script that should be accelerating toward resolution.
  • Visually and thematically, the scene is strong in evoking the contrast between the insulated world of political elites in the tavern and the brutal reality outside, symbolizing the disconnect between authority and activism. However, the execution could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience, such as the sounds of shattering glass or the smell of tear gas in flashbacks, which are only implied. This scene fits into the larger narrative by reinforcing the theme of systemic oppression, but it could better tie into the trial's personal stakes by showing how these events directly influence the defendants' current desperation, making the critique more impactful for both the writer and the reader.
Suggestions
  • Refine the intercutting by adding clearer transitions, such as fade effects, sound bridges, or title cards indicating time shifts, to improve clarity and maintain audience engagement without sacrificing the dynamic pacing.
  • Reduce expository dialogue by incorporating more visual storytelling; for example, show the Haymarket Tavern's atmosphere through close-ups of delegates toasting and TV screens, allowing Abbie's narration to be more concise or integrated as voice-over only when necessary, to make the scene more cinematic and less reliant on telling.
  • Deepen character emotions by adding subtle physical actions or reactions; have Tom show visible signs of guilt, like clenching his fists or avoiding eye contact, during Kunstler's questioning to heighten the interpersonal tension and better connect to his arc from previous scenes.
  • Tighten the scene's focus by consolidating or shortening the auditorium segments, ensuring that Abbie's narration directly supports the interrogation's conflict rather than feeling like a separate thread, to build momentum toward the film's climax and avoid redundancy with earlier protest depictions.
  • Enhance sensory and thematic elements by including more vivid descriptions of the environment, such as the chaos of bottles crashing or the eerie quiet of the unguarded bridge, and explicitly link the historical events to the trial's consequences, perhaps through a reflective pause in the office, to make the scene more immersive and thematically resonant.



Scene 56 - Caught in the Chaos
193 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 193
KUNSTLER
You made it through the riot
police, the tear gas, the national
guard and you’re in sight of the
Convention Center--
194 EXT. HAYMARKET TAVERN - NIGHT 194
TOM, ABBIE, JERRY and the others are on a dark, empty
sidewalk.
A few riot police appear from around the corner. The group
turns in the other direction where more riot police appear.
195 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 195
TOM
Where we got trapped.
KUNSTLER
What’s another word for trapped?
TOM
We were trapped between the window
and the police.
KUNSTLER
What’s another word for trapped?
(beat)
“Caught”, right?

196 EXT. HAYMARKET TAVERN - NIGHT 196
TOM, ABBIE, JERRY and the others are basically pinned against
the picture window by the riot police who are coming closer.
197 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 197
ABBIE
Inside the bar it’s like the 60’s
never happened. Outside the bar,
the 60’s were being performed for
anyone who looked out the window.
198 INT. HAYMARKET TAVERN - NIGHT 198
The roll call continues on the television sets and the
festive mood continues. A WOMAN looks out the window and
notices the backs of the protestors that are out there. Her
date is deep in conversation--
BAR PATRON #1
Does anyone know what a buckeye is?
WOMAN
(trying to get his
attention)
Hey.
BAR PATRON #2
A buckeye?
BAR PATRON #1
Yeah.
WOMAN
Am I the only one who sees what’s
going on out there?
BAR PATRON #2
A buckeye is a nut. A poisonous
nut.
We see a few other people near the window are starting to
notice what’s going on outside.
199 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 199
ABBIE
And we see a cop do something you
don’t ever want to see a cop do.

200 EXT. HAYMARKET TAVERN - NIGHT 200
We PUSH IN on TOM as he sees a RIOT OFFICER pull off his
badge and then his name tag and put them in a pocket. ABBIE
watches as the another RIOT OFFICER pulls off their badge and
name tag. JERRY watches another.
201 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 201
KUNSTLER
All those people, how come you and
Abbie and Jerry are the only ones
who saw them do that?
TOM
I don’t know. It was dark. People
were scared.
Genres: ["Drama","Political","Historical"]

Summary In a tense intercut scene, Kunstler interrogates Tom about the protestors' harrowing experience as they are trapped by riot police outside the Haymarket Tavern during the 1968 Chicago protests. While Tom recounts the escalating danger, the scene shifts between the chaos outside and the oblivious patrons inside the tavern, who are initially distracted by trivial conversations. As the protestors witness police officers removing their identifiers, the contrast between the festive atmosphere inside and the ominous events outside heightens the tension. The scene culminates with Kunstler questioning why only a few noticed the police's actions, highlighting the themes of fear and awareness amidst chaos.
Strengths
  • Intense interrogation dynamics
  • Revealing character conflicts
  • Emotional depth and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive dialogue
  • Limited physical action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the emotional intensity and moral dilemmas faced by the characters, providing a crucial turning point in the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring conflicting perspectives on a pivotal protest event is engaging and thought-provoking, adding layers to the characters and the narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly through the interrogation, revealing crucial details about the characters' motivations and actions, setting the stage for further developments.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to depicting a tense confrontation between protesters and riot police, with authentic character actions and dialogue that capture the urgency and danger of the situation.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' depth and complexity are highlighted through their responses to the interrogation, showcasing their internal conflicts and moral struggles.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo internal shifts as their beliefs and actions are challenged, leading to potential growth and transformation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate through the dangerous situation and protect themselves and their group. This reflects their deeper need for survival, safety, and possibly a desire to make a difference in the face of adversity.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to evade the riot police and find safety amidst the chaos. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of physical danger and the need to escape the threatening situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, intensifying the drama and revealing the characters' struggles with authority and activism.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing significant obstacles and uncertain outcomes, adding to the suspense and unpredictability.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are evident as the characters confront their past actions, face moral dilemmas, and navigate the consequences of their choices.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly propels the story forward by revealing crucial information, deepening character conflicts, and setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the characters' uncertain fate in the face of escalating conflict and the shifting dynamics between protesters and authorities.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around the characters' beliefs in standing up against authority and the oppressive system. This challenges the protagonist's values of justice, freedom, and resistance against injustice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions through its tense atmosphere, moral dilemmas, and character revelations, engaging the audience on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, revealing character dynamics and conflicting ideologies, driving the scene's tension and emotional impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, fast-paced action, and the characters' struggle for survival in a volatile environment.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds suspense and urgency, keeping the audience on edge as the characters navigate through the escalating danger.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict through the characters' interactions and the escalating danger they face.


Critique
  • The intercutting between the conspiracy office interrogation, the Haymarket Tavern flashbacks, and Abbie's narration in the college auditorium effectively builds tension and contrasts the personal stakes of the trial with the chaotic events of the past. This technique mirrors the film's theme of revisiting history through memory and testimony, helping the audience understand how Tom's actions are being scrutinized in the present. However, the rapid shifts might feel disjointed or confusing, potentially diluting the emotional impact if not paced carefully, as it risks overwhelming viewers with too many location changes in a short sequence.
  • Kunstler's repetitive questioning, such as 'What's another word for trapped?', comes across as overly didactic and unnatural, serving more as a narrative device to highlight themes of entrapment than as authentic dialogue. This can make the scene feel expository rather than dynamic, reducing the character's depth and making the interaction less engaging for the audience, who might perceive it as the writer telling rather than showing the conflict.
  • The flashback to the Haymarket Tavern exterior and interior provides vivid imagery of the protesters' vulnerability and the obliviousness of the elite inside the bar, reinforcing the social divide central to the story. Yet, the transition to Abbie's narration interrupts the flow, feeling somewhat disconnected from the immediate tension in the conspiracy office. This could alienate viewers if it doesn't clearly serve a purpose beyond exposition, and it might benefit from tighter integration to maintain momentum.
  • The moment where riot officers remove their badges and name tags is a powerful visual symbol of police anonymity and potential impunity, effectively tying into the film's critique of authority. However, Kunstler's skepticism in the office about why only certain characters witnessed this event raises questions about reliability and bias, but it feels underdeveloped. This could be an opportunity to deepen character exploration, such as Tom's defensiveness or Abbie's perspective, but it risks seeming contrived if not balanced with more concrete evidence or emotional nuance.
  • Overall, the scene successfully escalates the interrogation's intensity by linking it to high-stakes protest moments, but it lacks sufficient character-driven moments that reveal personal growth or conflict resolution. For instance, Tom's responses could show more internal struggle, making his testimony more relatable and less like a rote defense, which would enhance audience empathy and understanding of his motivations within the larger narrative of the Chicago 7 trial.
Suggestions
  • Refine Kunstler's dialogue to be less repetitive and more conversational, perhaps by incorporating subtext that reveals his frustration or strategy, making the interrogation feel more organic and engaging.
  • Improve the pacing of intercuts by adding transitional elements, such as fade-ins or sound bridges, to clarify shifts between locations and time periods, ensuring the audience can follow the narrative without confusion.
  • Strengthen the connection between Abbie's narration and the main action by integrating it more seamlessly, such as having Abbie's voice-over overlap with visual cuts to make it feel like a cohesive memory sequence rather than separate vignettes.
  • Enhance the emotional depth by adding close-ups or internal monologues for Tom during key moments, like when he describes being 'trapped', to convey his fear and regret, making the scene more character-focused and less reliant on exposition.
  • Consider adding sensory details or subtle actions in the flashbacks, such as the sound of shattering glass or the feel of tension in the air, to immerse the audience more fully and heighten the dramatic impact of the police actions and the interrogation.



Scene 57 - Chaos and Confrontation
202 INT. COLLEGE AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 202
ABBIE
60’s outside the bar. 50’s inside
the bar. And then...? An
unnecessary metaphor.
203 INT. HAYMARKET TAVERN - NIGHT 203
BAR PATRON #2
(over the noise)
It’s a nut?
BAR PATRON #1
What?
BAR PATRON #2
(louder)
A nut!
CRASH!!!!!!--TOM, ABBIE, JERRY and the DEMONSTRATORS are
pushed through the window, which smashes to pieces. PATRONS
are SCREAMING as the RIOT POLICE come in after the
DEMONSTRATORS.
204 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 204
KUNSTLER
Were you resisting arrest?

TOM
They pushed us through the window.
KUNSTLER
You overrun the riot police--
And now TOM and KUNSTLER begin talking over each other at the
same time--
KUNSTLER (CONT'D) TOM
--make it past the tear gas, (simultaneously)
make it past the national Which is more than Rennie can
guard, find an open bridge, say! Over 400 people admitted
you can practically reach to area hospitals with severe
your hand out and touch the injuries! They had armored
convention and you gave vehicles! Bayonets! They took
yourself up peacefully? off their name tags and
badges! We were trying to
protest peacefully at the
fucking convention!
Genres: ["Drama","Political"]

Summary In a college auditorium, Abbie delivers a cryptic monologue before the scene shifts to the Haymarket Tavern, where patrons are confused by a chaotic atmosphere. Suddenly, riot police violently push Tom, Abbie, Jerry, and demonstrators through the tavern window, causing panic. The scene transitions to a conspiracy office where Tom and Kunstler engage in a heated debate about the protest, with Tom defending the demonstrators' peaceful intentions against Kunstler's accusations of resistance. The scene captures the intense chaos of the protest and the confrontational dialogue between the characters.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Character depth
  • Emotional impact
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion due to intercutting
  • Some repetitive elements in dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is intense and gripping, effectively portraying the conflict and tension between the characters. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, driving the emotional intensity.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the dichotomy between peaceful protest and violent confrontation is compelling. The scene effectively delves into the characters' motivations and actions during a critical moment.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is driven by the interrogation and flashbacks, revealing crucial details about the characters' past actions and the consequences of their choices. It advances the narrative by deepening the conflict and character development.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on protest narratives by emphasizing the internal and external conflicts faced by the characters, showcasing authentic reactions and dialogue that resonate with real-world events.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, each displaying defiance, frustration, and complexity. Their interactions and reactions add depth to the scene, showcasing their individual struggles and beliefs.

Character Changes: 8

The characters experience internal conflicts and confrontations that challenge their beliefs and actions, leading to subtle changes in their perspectives and behaviors.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to stand up for their beliefs and rights in the face of oppressive authority. This reflects their deeper need for justice, freedom, and the desire to make a difference.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to peacefully protest at the convention and make their voices heard. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of navigating a volatile and dangerous situation while maintaining their principles.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is intense and multi-layered, encompassing ideological clashes, personal struggles, and the escalating tensions between the characters and the authorities. It drives the scene's emotional impact.

Opposition: 8

The opposition is strong as the characters face overwhelming odds and conflicting forces, creating a sense of danger and uncertainty that drives the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face legal repercussions, personal conflicts, and the moral dilemmas of their activism. The scene highlights the risks and sacrifices involved in their fight for justice.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly advances the story by revealing crucial details about the characters' past actions, motivations, and the consequences of their choices. It sets the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden escalation of violence, unexpected character actions, and the uncertain outcome of the clash between protesters and authorities.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident is the clash between the protagonist's belief in peaceful protest and the oppressive force of the riot police. This challenges the protagonist's values of non-violence and civil disobedience.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions through its tense atmosphere, confrontational dialogue, and character dynamics. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and the high-stakes situation.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the characters' conflicting perspectives and motivations. It drives the scene's intensity and reveals the characters' inner turmoil.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, intense action, and moral dilemmas that keep the audience on edge and emotionally invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8

The pacing effectively builds tension and suspense, using rapid dialogue exchanges and dynamic action sequences to maintain a sense of urgency and momentum throughout the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 7

The formatting aligns with the genre's expectations, effectively conveying the rapid pace and escalating tension of the scene.

Structure: 7

The scene follows a non-linear structure with quick shifts between locations, mirroring the chaotic nature of the protest and adding to the sense of urgency and unpredictability.


Critique
  • The scene effectively uses intercutting to maintain the screenplay's established style of blending past protest events with present-day interrogation, which heightens tension and provides a rhythmic pace. However, Abbie's opening line in the college auditorium—'60’s outside the bar. 50’s inside the bar. And then...? An unnecessary metaphor.'—feels overly cryptic and disconnected, potentially confusing viewers who may not immediately grasp its symbolic intent without stronger contextual clues. This could alienate the audience or dilute the scene's impact if it doesn't clearly tie into the larger themes of cultural and generational conflict.
  • The dialogue between the bar patrons about 'a nut' is awkwardly inserted and lacks relevance to the main action. It comes across as filler that disrupts the building tension, failing to advance the plot or develop characters, and might confuse viewers by introducing seemingly random elements that don't contribute to the scene's emotional or narrative arc. This could be seen as a missed opportunity to deepen the irony or contrast between the oblivious patrons and the chaos outside.
  • The sudden crash through the window is a powerful visual and auditory shock that effectively conveys the violence and unpredictability of the protest, aligning with the screenplay's depiction of escalating conflict. However, the abruptness might feel unearned if not sufficiently foreshadowed from previous scenes, potentially reducing its emotional resonance and making the transition feel more like a jump scare than a natural progression of the story.
  • The overlapping dialogue between Tom and Kunstler during their confrontation adds energy and realism to the interrogation, mirroring the chaos of the protest flashbacks. Yet, this technique risks being unclear in execution, as simultaneous speech can be difficult to follow in film without careful direction, sound mixing, or visual aids. It might overshadow Tom's emotional defense of the protestors, diluting the scene's ability to humanize the characters and explore their motivations deeply.
  • Overall, the scene successfully escalates tension and reinforces the theme of systemic violence against protestors, but it could better integrate with the trial's narrative by explicitly linking the past events to the current interrogation's stakes. For instance, Tom's outburst about the protest's brutality feels passionate but could be more tied to his character arc, showing growth or regret, to make the scene more impactful for both the writer and the audience in understanding the personal toll of political activism.
Suggestions
  • Clarify Abbie's cryptic line by adding subtle context or rephrasing it to better connect with the audience, such as having him explain the metaphor briefly or using visual cues in the auditorium to illustrate the '60s vs. 50s' divide, ensuring it enhances rather than obscures the thematic elements.
  • Remove or revise the bar patrons' 'nut' conversation to make it more purposeful—perhaps use it to heighten the irony by having the patrons discuss something trivial just before the crash, or cut it entirely to streamline the scene and maintain focus on the core conflict, improving pacing and audience engagement.
  • Build anticipation for the window crash by incorporating subtle foreshadowing in the exterior shots, such as increased police aggression or sounds of unrest building, to make the moment more emotionally charged and integrated with the scene's rhythm, enhancing the shock value without making it feel abrupt.
  • Refine the overlapping dialogue by staggering the lines slightly or using intertitles, voice-over, or visual cuts to clarify who is speaking, ensuring the intensity is preserved while making it accessible; this could also allow for more emphasis on Tom's key lines about the violence, strengthening character development and thematic depth.
  • Strengthen the connection between the interrogation and flashback by adding a reflective pause or a direct question from Kunstler that prompts Tom's defense, such as referencing specific injuries or consequences from earlier scenes, to better tie into the trial's broader narrative and highlight character evolution or the futility of their actions.



Scene 58 - Shared Defeat and Understanding
205 INT. HAYMARKET TAVERN - NIGHT 205
TOM is sitting on the floor in the rubble and the
aftermath...He sees ABBIE sitting against a wall in
handcuffs...They’re both bleeding and they share a look of
defeat...
POLICEMAN (O.S.)
Hands behind your back.
TOM
(pause)
Yeah.
206 INT. CONSPIRACY OFFICE - NIGHT 206
KUNSTLER
Who started the riot, Tom?
TOM is spent. After a moment he says a word that doesn’t mean
to make sense by itself...
TOM
(pause)
“Our”.
KUNSTLER
(pause)
What?

TOM
(beat)
“Our”. “Our blood”.
ABBIE puts it together...
ABBIE
(pause)
“Our” blood. If “our” blood is
going to flow--you meant to say,
“If ‘our’ blood is going to flow,
let it flow all over the city.” You
didn’t mean the cops, you were
saying if they’re going to beat us
up then everyone should see it.
KUNSTLER
(quietly)
Jesus Christ.
ABBIE
You do this--
(to KUNSTLER)
He does this, it’s a pattern. Read
his portion of the Port Huron
Statement. He implies possessive
pronouns and he uses vague noun
modifiers.
TOM looks at ABBIE...
TOM
(pause)
You read the Port Huron Statement?
ABBIE
I’ve read everything you’ve
published.
TOM
I didn’t know that.
ABBIE
You’re a talented guy. Except for
the possessive pronouns and the
vague--
TOM
I know.
And for the first time, TOM is able to allow himself a
laugh...then--

TOM (CONT'D)
(to KUNSTLER)
Put Abbie on the stand instead.
JUDGE HOFFMAN (V.O.)
Would you state your full name for
the record please.
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Historical"]

Summary In a nightmarish setting at the Haymarket Tavern, Tom and Abbie, both bloodied and defeated, share a moment of despair before Tom is taken into custody. At the Conspiracy Office, Kunstler interrogates Tom about the riot, leading to confusion over Tom's cryptic statement 'Our blood.' Abbie clarifies its meaning, emphasizing the visibility of violence against protesters, which shocks Kunstler. Their exchange reveals a connection through Tom's writing, prompting a moment of levity as Tom laughs for the first time. The scene concludes with Judge Hoffman requesting a name for the record.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Revealing character insights
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Potential for confusion in intercutting sequences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is well-structured, revealing deep insights into character motivations and past actions. The dialogue is impactful and thought-provoking, leading to a shift in perspective.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of exploring character motivations and hidden meanings in past actions is compelling and well-executed. The scene delves into the complexities of human behavior and the consequences of actions.

Plot: 8.4

The plot progression in this scene is driven by the revelations and reflections of the characters. It adds depth to the narrative and enhances the understanding of past events.

Originality: 8.5

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on protest movements and legal battles, exploring the complexities of language and ideology in activism. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.9

The characters' depth and complexity shine through in this scene, especially in their introspective moments and interactions. The dialogue reveals layers of their personalities.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo subtle changes in their perspectives and understanding of past events. The revelations lead to introspection and growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Tom's internal goal in this scene is to express his true intentions and beliefs, particularly his desire for collective action and resistance. This reflects his deeper need for solidarity, justice, and a sense of purpose.

External Goal: 7.5

Tom's external goal is to navigate the legal proceedings and influence the strategy of his defense team. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of defending himself and his beliefs in court.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.3

The conflict in this scene is more internal and emotional, revolving around the characters' past actions and motivations. It adds tension and depth to the interactions.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting ideologies, legal challenges, and interpersonal dynamics creating obstacles for the characters to navigate. The uncertainty adds depth to the conflict.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in terms of the characters' personal growth and the impact of their past actions. The scene reveals the consequences of their choices.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the understanding of the characters and their motivations. It adds layers to the narrative and sets the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics, the revelation of characters' true intentions, and the unexpected turns in the dialogue that challenge assumptions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between individual rights and collective action. Tom's belief in the power of unity clashes with the legal system's focus on individual responsibility and consequences.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.8

The scene carries a high emotional impact due to the characters' revelations, reflections, and intense interactions. It evokes a range of emotions from defeat to realization.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is the heart of this scene, driving the emotional impact and revealing the characters' inner thoughts and motivations. It is intense, reflective, and thought-provoking.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional stakes, the dynamic between characters, and the unfolding revelations about their beliefs and motivations.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, allowing for moments of reflection and intensity to enhance the overall impact of the dialogue and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for the genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The use of pauses and beats enhances the pacing and rhythm of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the progression of the characters' interactions and the development of the plot. The dialogue-driven nature enhances the scene's impact.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a moment of raw vulnerability and defeat for Tom and Abbie, providing a humanizing pause after the chaotic violence depicted in previous scenes. This contrast highlights the physical and emotional toll of the protests, making the characters more relatable and deepening the audience's investment in their struggle. However, the intercutting between the tavern and the conspiracy office feels somewhat disjointed, as the transition lacks a strong visual or thematic link that could smooth the shift and maintain narrative flow. This abrupt change might confuse viewers, especially if they're still processing the intense action from the prior scene, potentially diluting the emotional impact.
  • Tom's initial response of 'Our' to Kunstler's question about who started the riot is intriguing and symbolic, emphasizing the theme of misinterpretation that runs through the screenplay. Abbie's explanation clarifies this for the audience, but it comes across as slightly expository, feeling like a convenient way to unpack Tom's cryptic statement rather than a natural character interaction. This could undermine the subtlety of the dialogue, making it seem forced and reducing the scene's authenticity, as real conversations often avoid such direct unpacking.
  • The revelation that Abbie has read Tom's work and their brief moment of levity with Tom's laugh is a strong character beat, showcasing intellectual respect and adding nuance to their adversarial relationship. It humanizes Abbie, portraying him as more than just a chaotic figure, and provides a cathartic release after tension. However, this laugh might feel unearned if Tom's character has been consistently serious and burdened throughout the film, potentially breaking immersion without sufficient buildup or context to justify the shift in tone. Additionally, as scene 58 in a 60-scene script, this moment should more aggressively propel the story toward its climax, but it risks feeling like a minor interlude rather than a pivotal escalation.
  • Thematically, the scene reinforces the central conflict of words being weaponized in a political trial, with Tom's phrase 'Our blood' mirroring the misinterpretations that led to their indictments. This ties back to earlier scenes where language and perception are contested, but the execution here could benefit from more sensory details in the tavern setting—such as the sound of glass crunching or the smell of blood—to immerse the audience in the aftermath and heighten the emotional stakes. Overall, while the scene advances character development and hints at upcoming testimony (with Tom's suggestion to put Abbie on the stand), it might not fully capitalize on its position near the end of the script to build unbearable tension or foreshadow the trial's resolution.
  • On a structural level, the scene's brevity and focus on introspection are appropriate for a breather in a high-stakes narrative, but it could be criticized for not advancing the plot as dynamically as needed in the late stages of the film. The voice-over at the end, transitioning to the next scene, is a common screenwriting technique for setup, but it feels abrupt and could be integrated more organically to avoid pulling the audience out of the moment. Positively, the dialogue reveals layers of character history and ideology, enriching the ensemble dynamic, but it occasionally veers into didacticism, which might alienate viewers seeking more show-than-tell storytelling.
Suggestions
  • Improve intercutting by adding transitional elements, such as a shared auditory cue (e.g., the sound of distant sirens or echoing voices) between the tavern and office settings to make shifts feel more fluid and less jarring, enhancing overall pacing.
  • Refine the expository dialogue by making Abbie's explanation of Tom's 'Our blood' comment more conversational and less direct; for example, have Abbie reference it indirectly through a shared memory or analogy, allowing the audience to infer meaning without overt clarification.
  • Build up to Tom's laugh by including subtle hints of camaraderie or shared history earlier in the scene or film, such as a brief glance or recalled anecdote, to make the emotional release feel more authentic and earned within Tom's character arc.
  • Enhance sensory details in the tavern sequence to immerse the audience more deeply; describe visual elements like blood stains on clothing, the dim lighting casting shadows, or auditory details like labored breathing, to amplify the defeat and connect it more viscerally to the action in previous scenes.
  • Strengthen the scene's role in the larger narrative by emphasizing how Tom's suggestion to put Abbie on the stand foreshadows upcoming events; add a reaction shot or subtle nod from Kunstler to hint at the implications, ensuring the scene contributes more directly to building toward the climax.
  • To address thematic depth, incorporate more visual metaphors, such as contrasting the rubble in the tavern with the orderly office, to symbolize the destruction of ideals versus institutional rigidity, making the scene more cinematically engaging and less reliant on dialogue.
  • Consider expanding the scene slightly to include a moment of reflection on the consequences of their actions, tying back to the conflicts at the footbridges from scene 54, to create a stronger narrative bridge and reinforce character growth without overwhelming the pace.



Scene 59 - Words on Trial
207 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 207
ABBIE’s on the stand.
ABBIE
It’s Abbie.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Your last name.
ABBIE
My grandfather’s name was
Shaboysnakoff but he was a Russian
Jew protesting anti-semitism so he
was assigned a name that would
sound like yours.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
What is your date of birth?
ABBIE
Psychologically, 1960.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
What were you doing until 1960?
ABBIE
Nothing really. It’s called an
American education.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Why don’t we just proceed with the
testimony.
ABBIE
Sure.
KUNSTLER
Do you know why you’re on trial
here?
ABBIE
We carried certain ideas across
state lines. Not machine guns or
drugs or little girls.
(MORE)

ABBIE (CONT'D)
When we crossed from New York to
New Jersey to Pennsylvania to Ohio
to Illinois, we had certain ideas.
And for that, we were gassed,
beaten, arrested and put on trial.
In 1861, Lincoln said in his
Inaugural address that, “When the
people shall grow weary of their
Constitutional right to amend their
government, they shall exert their
revolutionary right to dismember
and overthrow that government.” And
if Lincoln had given that speech in
Lincoln Park last summer he’d be on
trial with the rest of us.
KUNSTLER
How do you overthrow and dismember
a government peacefully?
ABBIE
In this country we do it every four
years.
KUNSTLER
That’s all.
KUNSTLER sits.
SCHULTZ smiles a little...
SCHULTZ
So Chicago was just a massive voter
registration drive.
ABBIE
(laughs)
Yeah.
SCHULTZ
Did you hear the tape that was
played in court of Mr. Hayden at
the bandshell?
ABBIE
Yes.
SCHULTZ
You heard the tape?
ABBIE
Yes.

SCHULTZ
Did you hear Mr. Hayden give an
instruction to his people to take
to the streets?
ABBIE
His people. Hayden’s not a mafia
Don and neither am I.
SCHULTZ
Did you hear him say, “If blood is
gonna flow, let it flow all over
the city”?
ABBIE
The beginning of the sentence was
supposed to be--
(beat--forget it)
Yes. Yes I did.
SCHULTZ
What do you think of that?
ABBIE
I think Tom Hayden’s a badass of an
American patriot.
SCHULTZ
I didn’t ask what you thought of
the man, I asked what you thought
of his instruction to the crowd.
ABBIE
You know, I’ve heard Tom Hayden
say, “Let’s end the war” too but
nobody stopped shooting. You can do
anything to anything by taking it
out of context, Mr. Schultz.
SCHULTZ
Is that right?
ABBIE
A guy once said, “I am come to set
a man at variance with his father.
And the daughter against her
mother.” You know who said it?
SCHULTZ
Jerry Rubin?
ABBIE
(laughing a little)
Yeah. No. It was Jesus Christ.
(MORE)

ABBIE (CONT'D)
Matthew 10:34. And it sure sounds
like he’s telling kids to kill
their parents. Until you read
Matthew 10:33 and 10:35.
SCHULTZ
Did you--
ABBIE
He’d just seen his best friend get
hit in the face with a nightstick.
The police, Mr. Schultz, whose
people are they?
SCHULTZ
Do you have contempt for your
government?
ABBIE
(laughing)
Do I--
SCHULTZ
Do you have contempt for your
government?
ABBIE
I think the institutions of our
democracy are wonderful things
that, right now, are populated by
some terrible people.
SCHULTZ
Please answer the question.
ABBIE
Tell me again?
SCHULTZ
Do you have contempt for your
government?
ABBIE
I’ll tell you, Mr. Schultz, it’s
nothing compared to the contempt my
government has for me.
SCHULTZ
We’ve heard from 27 witnesses
who’ve testified under oath that
you hoped for a confrontation with
the police.
(MORE)

SCHULTZ (CONT'D)
That your plans for the convention
were specifically designed to draw
the police into a confrontation.
ABBIE
If I’d known it was going to be the
first wish of mine that came true I
would’ve aimed higher.
SCHULTZ
It’s a yes or no question. When you
came to Chicago were you hoping for
a confrontation with the police?
ABBIE says nothing for a moment...
SCHULTZ (CONT'D)
I’m concerned that you have to
think about it.
ABBIE
Gimme me a moment, would you
friend? I’ve never been on trial
for my thoughts before.
FADE TO BLACK
TITLE:
Trial Day 113
Genres: ["Drama","Legal"]

Summary In a tense courtroom scene, Abbie takes the witness stand, responding to Judge Hoffman and defense attorney Kunstler with humor and evasiveness. He argues that the trial revolves around crossing state lines with ideas rather than weapons, drawing parallels to Abraham Lincoln's views on revolutionary rights. During cross-examination by prosecutor Schultz, Abbie defends co-defendant Tom Hayden and emphasizes the misinterpretation of words, while asserting his respect for democratic institutions despite his disdain for current leaders. The conflict escalates as Schultz attempts to portray Abbie as inciting violence, but Abbie counters with wit and thoughtful reflections, culminating in a poignant moment where he states he has never been tried for his thoughts.
Strengths
  • Strong dialogue
  • Exploration of themes
  • Character depth
Weaknesses
  • Potential for audience confusion due to complex ideas and references

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is impactful due to its strong dialogue, exploration of themes, and the conflict between the character's beliefs and the legal system. It sets a defiant and reflective tone that resonates with the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of civil disobedience, government dissent, and challenging the legal system is central to the scene. It explores complex ideas through dialogue and character interactions, making it intellectually stimulating.

Plot: 8

The plot revolves around Abbie's testimony and the clash of ideologies between the character and the legal system. It advances the narrative by revealing key beliefs and motivations, adding depth to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on protest movements and political activism, presenting nuanced arguments and moral dilemmas. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and thought-provoking, adding layers of complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Abbie, are well-developed and showcase distinct personalities and beliefs. Their interactions drive the scene forward and highlight the conflict at the core of the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

Abbie undergoes a subtle change as he reveals his beliefs and motivations during the testimony, showcasing a deeper layer to his character and challenging the audience's perception.

Internal Goal: 9

Abbie's internal goal is to assert his beliefs and ideals in the face of legal scrutiny. This reflects his deeper need for justice, freedom of expression, and the desire to challenge authority.

External Goal: 8

Abbie's external goal is to defend his actions and motives during the trial. It reflects the immediate challenge of proving his innocence and justifying his protest activities.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between Abbie's beliefs and the legal system creates tension and drama in the scene. It highlights the ideological clash and adds depth to the character dynamics.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, legal challenges, and moral dilemmas that create uncertainty and tension for the characters and the audience.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are evident as Abbie challenges the legal system and faces scrutiny for his beliefs and actions. The outcome of the trial could have significant consequences for the character and the larger movement.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key insights into Abbie's character and beliefs, setting the stage for further conflict and development in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the characters' shifting perspectives, unexpected revelations, and moral ambiguities that challenge the audience's assumptions and beliefs.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the tension between individual rights to dissent and the government's authority to maintain order. Abbie's beliefs clash with the legal system's interpretation of his actions, challenging his worldview and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from defiance to reflection, challenging the audience to consider the complexities of civil disobedience and government dissent.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, thought-provoking, and impactful. It effectively conveys the character's defiance and critical views, adding depth to the scene and engaging the audience.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intellectual discourse, witty exchanges, and moral dilemmas that keep the audience invested in the characters' fates and beliefs.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of reflection and intensity that enhance the emotional impact of the characters' interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a courtroom scene, with proper character cues, dialogue attribution, and scene descriptions. It enhances readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format typical of courtroom dramas, with clear dialogue exchanges and character interactions that advance the plot. It maintains a coherent flow and pacing.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Abbie Hoffman's charismatic and defiant personality through his witty, evasive dialogue, which aligns well with historical portrayals and adds humor to the trial's tension. This helps the audience understand Abbie's role as a countercultural icon and reinforces the theme of free speech being weaponized against activists. However, the humor sometimes overshadows the gravity of the situation, potentially diluting the emotional weight of the trial's stakes, especially in a late scene like this one, which should be building towards the climax. For instance, Abbie's laugh and sarcastic remarks might come across as too lighthearted, risking the loss of the scene's intended outrage and making it feel more comedic than dramatic, which could confuse viewers about the seriousness of the historical events.
  • The dialogue is sharp and thematically rich, with references to Lincoln and the Bible illustrating how words can be misinterpreted, a key motif in the screenplay. This not only humanizes Abbie but also critiques the prosecution's tactics, enhancing the audience's understanding of the trial's absurdity. That said, some exchanges, like the back-and-forth with Schultz, feel overly expository, with Abbie directly explaining concepts (e.g., misinterpretation through the Jesus Christ example) that might be better shown through action or subtler dialogue. This can make the scene feel didactic, as if it's lecturing the audience rather than immersing them, and it may slow the pacing in a scene that should maintain high tension given its position near the end of the script.
  • The scene builds dramatic tension through the escalation of Schultz's questioning, culminating in Abbie's thoughtful pause, which is a strong character moment that highlights the personal cost of the trial. This pause effectively conveys vulnerability and introspection, helping readers grasp the psychological toll on the defendants. However, the lack of visual variety—being mostly confined to dialogue on the stand—makes the scene feel static and overly reliant on verbal exchanges, which is a common pitfall in courtroom scenes. Incorporating more reaction shots from the jury, judge, or other defendants could add dynamism and visual interest, making it more engaging for film audiences and emphasizing the broader implications of Abbie's testimony.
  • As scene 59 in a 60-scene script, this moment serves as a pivotal character showcase for Abbie, tying into the overarching narrative of resistance and the misuse of power. It successfully contrasts Abbie's idealism with the prosecution's aggression, aiding reader comprehension of the trial's injustices. Nonetheless, the transition to the fade to black and the title card feels abrupt and could better connect to the finale by hinting at upcoming events or resolving some tension. Additionally, the voice-over from Judge Hoffman at the end might confuse viewers if not clearly linked to the next scene, potentially disrupting the flow and diminishing the impact of Abbie's final line.
  • The scene's structure, with its question-and-answer format, mirrors real courtroom dramas and maintains authenticity, which is crucial for a historically based story. It allows for a deep dive into Abbie's philosophy, helping readers understand his motivations and the era's sociopolitical context. However, the repetitive nature of Schultz's questions (e.g., repeatedly asking about contempt and confrontation) can feel redundant, reducing suspense and making the cross-examination predictable. This repetition might stem from a desire to emphasize points, but it could be streamlined to heighten conflict and keep the audience engaged, especially in a scene that should propel the story towards its emotional peak.
Suggestions
  • Tighten the dialogue to reduce repetition in Schultz's questioning, making the cross-examination more concise and impactful to maintain pacing and build tension more effectively towards the scene's end.
  • Incorporate more visual elements, such as close-ups of the jury's reactions or subtle physical actions from Abbie (e.g., fidgeting or glancing at co-defendants), to break up the dialogue and add layers of subtext, enhancing emotional depth and cinematic flow.
  • Balance the humor with moments of seriousness by adjusting Abbie's responses to include more reflective pauses or tonal shifts, ensuring the scene doesn't undermine the trial's gravity and better prepares for the dramatic finale.
  • Strengthen the transition to the fade to black by adding a brief action or line that foreshadows the sentencing in scene 60, such as a cut to the judge's face or a whisper among the defendants, to create a smoother narrative bridge and heighten anticipation.
  • Consider adding historical context or subtext through props or background details (e.g., newspaper headlines or courtroom sketches) to subtly reinforce themes without relying on expository dialogue, making the scene more immersive and educational for viewers.



Scene 60 - Defiance in the Courtroom
208 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 208
We see some familiar faces in the gallery. DAVE’S FAMILY,
HOWARD, DAPHNE, BERNADINE...and we now see that FROINES and
WEINER are in the front row of the gallery too, no longer
with the defendants.
We HEAR a heavy door open on the side and the gallery hushes,
their eyes fixed on the side door.
The DEFENDANTS are led in wearing prison coveralls. They
exchange looks with FROINES and WEINER as they’re led to the
defense table.
BAILIFF
All rise.
JUDGE HOFFMAN enters and takes his seat without fanfare.
BAILIFF (CONT'D)
69 CR 180, United States of America
versus David Dellinger et al.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
The law requires that before
sentencing I allow the defendant or
defendants to make a statement to
the Court. I’ve advised defense
counsel that the Court will allow
one defendant to speak for the
group and I’ve been advised that
the group has chosen Mr. Hayden. Is
that right?
TOM
(standing)
Yes sir.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
In spite of your actions during the
convention, you are the one
defendant who has shown during this
trial, respect for this court and
for this country and remorse for
your actions. I truly believe--I
mean this--I truly believe that one
day you could be a very productive
part of our system. I’d like you to
make your statement brief and
without any political content of
any kind. If you make your
statement brief, if you make it
respectful, remorseful and to the
point, I will look favorably upon
that when administering my
sentence. Do you understand what I
just said?
TOM sees a thick sheaf of papers that sits in front of Rennie
at the table.
JUDGE HOFFMAN (CONT'D)
Mr. Hayden?
TOM
Yes.
(pause)
You’ll look favorably in
sentencing.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Yes.
TOM
(pause)
If I make my statement respectful
and remorseful.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
Yes.
TOM
And I’m sorry, Your Honor, what was
the third one?
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Brief.
TOM
Brief. If I do those things...then
my government will look favorably
on me.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
You understand?
TOM looks back at the packed GALLERY--Dave’s wife and son,
Fred’s girlfriend, CLAIRE...
TOM
Yes sir.
JUDGE HOFFMAN
Please begin.
TOM
Okay.
TOM takes the thick sheaf of papers from in front of Rennie--
TOM (CONT'D)
Your Honor, since the day this
trial began, four-thousand seven
hundred and fifty-two U.S. troops
have been killed in Vietnam.
(pause)
And the following are their names.
ABBIE leads the other DEFENDANTS in CHEERING as the GALLERY
ERUPTS and stands for this final moment of defiance. RENNIE
makes a small fist-pump to himself before standing and
CHEERING.
TOM (CONT'D)
Corporal Kenneth Joe Auston, 19
years old. Specialist Billy Francis
Dodd, 21 years old.
JUDGE HOFFMAN is banging his gavel, trying to restore order
as the NAMES and the CHEERING continue.

JUDGE HOFFMAN
There will be--Mr. Kunstler, he
will not read four-thousand five-
hundred names into the record.
There will be quiet in the gallery!
Mr. Hayden!
TOM
Staff Sergeant David Cruz Chavez,
31 years old. Corporal Philip
Lawrence Jewell, 21 years old.
Amidst the CHEERING and CLAPPING and GAVEL BANGING, SCHULTZ
rises to his feet.
FORAN
What are you doing?
SCHULTZ
Respect for the fallen.
(beat)
Show ‘em some respect, sir.
JUDGE HOFFMAN is banging his gavel in vain.
And while the NAMES and the CHEERING continue, the picture
starts to slowly freeze into a tableau...
209 Over the frozen picture we see the following TITLES-- 209
Abbie Hoffman, Tom Hayden, David Dellinger, Jerry Rubin and
Rennie Davis were found Guilty of Incitement to Riot and
sentenced to 5 years each in federal prison.
DISSOLVE TO:
The verdict was reversed by the Seventh Circuit Court of
Appeals and a new trial was ordered.
DISSOLVE TO:
The U.S. Attorney declined to re-try the case.
DISSOLVE TO:
In 1974, in a bi-annual survey, 78% of Chicago trial lawyers
gave Judge Julius Hoffman a rating of “Unqualified”.
DISSOLVE TO:
William Kunstler served 10 days in prison for Contempt of
Court.
DISSOLVE TO:

Attorney General John Mitchell served 18 months in Federal
prison for his role in the Watergate break-in.
DISSOLVE TO:
Bobby Seale was found Not Guilty of murder by a Connecticut
jury. He lives in Northern California and has published
several books on barbecuing.
DISSOLVE TO:
Jerry Rubin became a stockbroker. In 1994 he was struck and
killed by a car while jaywalking near the campus of UCLA.
DISSOLVE TO:
Tom Hayden was elected to the California State Assembly in
1989. He lost his bid for the U.S. Senate by 2 percentage
points.
DISSOLVE TO:
Abbie Hoffman wrote a best-selling book, though the number of
copies in circulation is unknown as the title was Steal This
Book.
DISSOLVE TO:
He killed himself in 1989.
The CHEERING and the NAMES continue for just another moment
before we immediately
SNAP TO BLACK
From the BLACK, we HEAR a huge crowd shout, one last time--
CROWD (V.O.)
THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING!
ROLL CREDITS
Genres: ["Drama","Legal","Historical"]

Summary In the final scene set in a courtroom during the sentencing of anti-war activists, defendants Tom Hayden, Abbie Hoffman, and others face Judge Hoffman, who demands a compliant statement for leniency. Defying the judge's instructions, Tom reads a list of U.S. troops killed in Vietnam, igniting chaos and solidarity among supporters in the gallery. The scene culminates in a tableau as historical outcomes of the trial are revealed, emphasizing the enduring impact of the protest movement, ending with the crowd's rallying cry, 'The whole world is watching!'
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Defiant tone
Weaknesses
  • Chaotic courtroom atmosphere may be overwhelming for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is powerful, emotionally charged, and impactful, showcasing defiance and respect amidst chaos. The delivery of fallen soldiers' names adds depth and poignancy to the moment.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the defendants making a final statement by reading fallen soldiers' names is poignant and thought-provoking. It adds depth to the characters and emphasizes the themes of respect and defiance.

Plot: 9

The plot is driven by the characters' actions and the unfolding courtroom drama. The scene serves as a culmination of the trial, showcasing the characters' resolve and the emotional weight of their situation.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on courtroom drama by blending political activism with legal proceedings. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds originality to the familiar setting, creating a compelling narrative that challenges traditional norms.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters are well-developed, with their actions and dialogue reflecting their personalities and beliefs. The scene allows for individual character moments while maintaining a cohesive group dynamic.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo emotional changes, showcasing their resolve, remorse, and defiance. The scene marks a significant moment of growth and self-realization for the characters.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to make a statement that reflects his beliefs and values while also trying to navigate the legal system to potentially receive a more favorable sentence. This reflects his deeper need for justice and his desire to stand up for his principles despite the consequences.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to deliver a statement that is respectful, remorseful, and brief in order to potentially receive a more lenient sentence from the judge. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of balancing his convictions with the need to navigate the legal process effectively.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict is primarily internal, as the characters navigate their emotions, convictions, and the consequences of their actions. The external conflict with the court adds tension and drama to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing resistance from the judge and the court while trying to assert his beliefs. The audience is kept in suspense about the outcome, adding to the dramatic tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face sentencing and make their final statements. The outcome of the trial will have a significant impact on their lives and the broader narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by resolving the trial arc and showcasing the characters' final stand. It sets the stage for the aftermath of the trial and the characters' future paths.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected defiance shown by the protagonist and the escalating tension between the characters. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the tension between individual beliefs and societal expectations, as seen in the protagonist's struggle to express his political views within the constraints of the court's rules. This challenges the protagonist's values of free expression and civil disobedience against the authority of the legal system.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of defiance, respect, and reflection. The reading of fallen soldiers' names adds a poignant layer of emotion to the moment.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is impactful, reflecting the characters' emotions and convictions. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the overall tone of defiance and respect.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, emotional intensity, and the clash of ideologies. The escalating conflict and dramatic revelations keep the audience invested in the characters' fates and the outcome of the trial.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment of defiance and resolution. The rhythmic flow of dialogue and actions enhances the scene's impact and emotional resonance.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for a courtroom setting, with proper scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue formatting. The formatting enhances the clarity and readability of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a courtroom drama, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness by building tension and emotional impact.


Critique
  • This final scene effectively serves as a climactic and emotional crescendo to the screenplay, encapsulating the themes of defiance, anti-war sentiment, and the personal cost of activism. Tom's decision to read the list of fallen soldiers' names instead of offering a remorseful statement is a powerful act of rebellion that reinforces the film's core message about the human toll of the Vietnam War and the injustice of the trial. It provides a satisfying arc for Tom, showing his growth from a more reserved figure to one who fully embraces public defiance, and the chaos that ensues highlights the collective spirit of the defendants and their supporters. However, the scene could benefit from more nuanced buildup to Tom's action; the judge's instructions and Tom's confirmations feel somewhat repetitive and could be streamlined to heighten tension without diluting the impact. Additionally, Schultz's line about 'respect for the fallen' comes across as somewhat abrupt and underdeveloped, potentially undermining the prosecution's consistency as established earlier in the script, as it introduces a moment of unexpected sympathy that might confuse audiences without sufficient character motivation. The use of title cards to deliver historical outcomes is informative but risks pulling viewers out of the emotional experience, as it shifts from dramatic storytelling to expository summary, which could feel like an info-dump in an otherwise immersive narrative. Overall, while the scene successfully conveys the enduring legacy of the Chicago 7 and their movement, it might not fully capitalize on the opportunity to deepen character relationships or provide a more visceral connection to the historical context through integrated dialogue or visuals.
  • From a structural perspective, the scene's pacing is generally strong for a finale, building to a freeze-frame that symbolizes the solidification of the defendants' legacy, but the rapid shift from courtroom drama to title cards and credits could be smoother to maintain emotional resonance. The gallery's reactions, including familiar faces like Dave's family and former defendants Froines and Weiner, add a layer of realism and closure, emphasizing the community's support and the personal stakes, which helps readers understand the broader impact of the trial. However, the dialogue during Tom's reading of names is straightforward but lacks variation in delivery, which might make it feel monotonous in performance; incorporating more dynamic elements, such as interruptions or emotional pauses, could enhance its dramatic weight. The tone shifts effectively from tense anticipation to chaotic defiance, mirroring the film's overall narrative, but the voice-over of the crowd chant at the end feels somewhat disconnected from the immediate action, potentially weakening the scene's unity. As the last scene, it successfully ties up thematic threads but could explore the internal conflicts among the defendants more deeply to provide a fuller sense of resolution or irony, especially given the historical context provided.
  • In terms of character development, Abbie's role in leading the cheering adds a touch of his characteristic humor and energy, providing a bookend to his earlier witty testimonies, but other defendants like Jerry and Rennie are somewhat underrepresented in this moment, with Rennie's small fist-pump being a nice detail but not fully utilized to show their individual growth. This might leave readers or viewers with a sense that not all characters receive equal closure. The visual and auditory elements, such as the gavel banging and cheering, create a vivid sense of chaos, but the scene could benefit from more specific descriptions to guide the cinematography, ensuring that the freeze-frame and title dissolves are impactful. Finally, the historical epilogue through title cards is educational and helps contextualize the real-world outcomes, aiding reader understanding, but it risks overshadowing the fictional narrative's emotional peak, suggesting a need for balance between historical accuracy and dramatic storytelling to keep the focus on the characters' journeys rather than a factual recap.
Suggestions
  • Add subtle foreshadowing or internal conflict for Tom earlier in the scene or script to make his decision to read the names feel more earned and less sudden, such as a quick flashback or a glance at a list during the judge's instructions.
  • Refine the dialogue to reduce repetition in Tom's confirmations with the judge, perhaps condensing it into a single, tense exchange to build suspense and allow more screen time for the chaotic eruption that follows.
  • Incorporate more dynamic visual and audio cues during Tom's reading of names, like close-ups on specific gallery members' reactions or sound design that echoes the names, to heighten emotional impact and prevent the sequence from feeling static.
  • Reconsider the placement and integration of historical title cards; suggest weaving some historical context into the dialogue or earlier scenes to avoid a abrupt shift, or use them sparingly to complement the narrative without dominating the finale.
  • Enhance character interactions during the chaos by giving brief, distinct reactions to other defendants (e.g., Jerry shouting a slogan or Rennie whispering encouragement), ensuring all key characters have a moment of agency in this pivotal scene to provide fuller closure to their arcs.



Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:

jerry

Jerry is a passionate and charismatic activist characterized by his rebellious spirit and unwavering commitment to challenging societal norms. He possesses a confrontational attitude, often using humor and sarcasm to deflect tension and engage in playful banter. His speaking style is confident, direct, and persuasive, frequently incorporating historical references and vivid imagery to emphasize his points. Jerry is resourceful and calm under pressure, able to navigate tense situations with composure while maintaining a level-headed demeanor. He is impulsive and emotional, driven by a strong sense of justice and a desire for direct action, which sometimes leads to conflicts with authority. Despite his defiance, Jerry is also capable of listening to reason and adapting his approach when necessary. His charm and affability make him relatable, while his quick wit and willingness to challenge the status quo contribute to both comedic and dramatic moments throughout the feature.



jerry rubin

Jerry Rubin is a charismatic and rebellious activist, known for his sharp wit and provocative dialogue. He embodies a confrontational approach to activism, unafraid to challenge authority and push boundaries. His humor adds levity to tense situations, making him a dynamic presence in negotiations. Jerry's impulsive nature drives him to advocate for confrontational tactics, and he is fiercely supportive of his fellow activists, particularly Abbie. His interactions are marked by a blend of defiance and unpredictability, creating a compelling and engaging character who thrives on the edge of chaos.



abbie hoffman

Abbie Hoffman is a charismatic and daring leader, known for his sharp wit and incisive dialogue. He possesses a unique ability to blend humor with serious activism, using sarcasm as a tool to challenge authority and provoke thought. His strategic mindset allows him to navigate tense situations with a blend of defiance and absurdity, often blurring the lines between seriousness and humor. Abbie is not just an activist; he is a master negotiator who values non-violent protest while pushing the limits of societal norms. His humor serves as both a shield and a weapon, enabling him to engage allies and adversaries alike in a way that is both entertaining and thought-provoking.



tom

Tom is a complex and multifaceted character, portrayed as a determined and resolute activist deeply committed to the cause of justice. He embodies a blend of assertiveness and pragmatism, often challenging authority while maintaining a focus on peaceful protest. His speaking style is direct and authoritative, reflecting his firm convictions and urgency in addressing injustice. Throughout the screenplay, Tom grapples with moral dilemmas, internal conflicts, and the consequences of his actions, showcasing a strong moral compass and a willingness to confront difficult questions. He is introspective and thoughtful, often revealing deeper truths through his dialogue, which is laced with emotional depth and intensity. As a leader, he demonstrates responsibility and concern for the safety of his group, yet he also exhibits impulsive tendencies that reflect his rebellious spirit. Tom's journey is marked by a struggle between his ideals and the harsh realities of activism, leading to significant emotional turmoil and growth as he navigates the complexities of his beliefs and the impact of his actions on himself and others.



abbie

Abbie Hoffman is a charismatic and defiant activist known for his sharp wit, humor, and unapologetic rebellion against authority. His speaking style is characterized by sarcasm, irony, and incisive social commentary, allowing him to navigate tense situations with a blend of humor and seriousness. Abbie is passionate about his beliefs and unafraid to confront the status quo, often using satire to challenge societal norms. He thrives on media attention and political stunts, embodying a radical approach to activism that sometimes puts him at odds with others in the movement. Despite his playful demeanor, Abbie possesses a perceptive nature, capable of reading between the lines and uncovering hidden meanings in conversations. His dialogue is bold and confrontational, reflecting his strategic mindset and commitment to pushing boundaries for social change. Throughout the screenplay, Abbie showcases a complex personality that balances humor, defiance, and respect, particularly in high-stakes situations like courtroom testimonies.



dave

Dave is a deeply empathetic and principled individual who seeks harmony within the group. He values unity and strives to maintain decorum amidst escalating tensions and conflicts. His practical and observant nature allows him to provide a grounded perspective on unfolding events, and his dialogue is straightforward and logical, reflecting his commitment to the group's well-being and strategic planning. Dave is passionate and courageous, quick to react to injustice, and shows a strong moral compass in the face of conflict. He is a compassionate and pragmatic character who acts as a mediator and problem-solver, often trying to maintain order in chaotic situations. His speaking style is calm, reassuring, and practical, emphasizing his role as a supportive figure who reacts emotionally to the group's struggles while maintaining control and focus on their shared goals.



weinglass

Weinglass is a sharp, assertive defense attorney known for his strategic questioning and strong presence in the courtroom. He is observant and detail-oriented, focusing on the implications of jury dismissals and the potential manipulation of the legal process. Throughout the feature, he balances the more intense demeanor of his colleague Kunstler with a cautious and analytical approach. Weinglass is reserved and practical, showing restraint in his interactions and maintaining a calm demeanor that contrasts with the emotional weight of the scenes. His dialogue is direct and focused, often aimed at exposing inconsistencies and challenging authority. He is a supportive figure within the group dynamic, providing a rational perspective and a measured, thoughtful speaking style that offers balance amidst the intensity of the courtroom drama.



kunstler

William Kunstler is a seasoned defense attorney characterized by his sharp intellect, confrontational style, and unwavering dedication to justice. He possesses a keen eye for legal tactics and is unafraid to challenge authority, often employing a mix of professionalism and sarcasm in his interactions. Kunstler's speaking style is confident, articulate, and incisive, commanding attention in the courtroom while also navigating sensitive conversations with empathy and care. He is strategic and pragmatic, providing structure to his defense team and ensuring they remain focused on their objectives. Kunstler's relentless pursuit of truth is evident as he probes deeply into the motivations and actions of those around him, driving the narrative forward with intensity and precision. His character embodies a sense of urgency and determination, reflecting a passionate advocate for his clients' rights and a critical voice against the status quo.



judge hoffman

Judge Hoffman is a commanding and authoritative figure in the courtroom, embodying a strict adherence to legal procedures and a firm belief in maintaining fairness and impartiality during the trial. His dialogue is direct and commanding, often dismissive of the defendants' actions, which sets a serious tone for the proceedings. He exhibits a lack of patience for disruptions, frequently interrupting to assert control over the courtroom dynamics. His interactions, particularly with the defendants like Seale, are tense and confrontational, revealing the power struggles inherent in the legal system. Despite his authoritative demeanor, there are glimpses of a complex character who grapples with ethical dilemmas, torn between the rigid enforcement of the law and the moral implications of his decisions.



rennie

Rennie is a deeply introspective and reflective character who grapples with the weight of his past actions and their impact on the present. He is torn between his revolutionary ideals and the personal relationships that matter to him, leading to internal conflict as he seeks to balance his activism with the expectations of his loved ones. Throughout the screenplay, Rennie evolves from a cautious and pragmatic individual, prioritizing the safety of protestors and advocating for de-escalation, to a more assertive and passionate figure who confronts authority in the name of justice. His speaking style is consistently calm, rational, and thoughtful, often infused with empathy and insight. He serves as a voice of reason within the group, emphasizing the importance of ethical considerations and the broader implications of their actions. As he becomes more compassionate and assertive, he learns to confront injustice while still valuing the well-being of others, ultimately embodying a balance between his ideals and the realities of activism.



daphne

Daphne O'Connor is a multifaceted character who embodies both wit and professionalism. Initially introduced as a witty and engaging individual, she possesses a quick sense of humor and a playful attitude that makes her charming and relatable. As a Special Agent in the FBI's Counter Intelligence division, she showcases a composed demeanor, particularly during her testimony, where her speaking style shifts to direct, factual, and calculated, reflecting her undercover role. Throughout the screenplay, Daphne emerges as a supportive and encouraging presence, urging others to defuse conflicts and offering practical advice with a firm yet empathetic tone. Her insights are calm and perceptive, positioning her as a voice of reason amidst chaos. In her testimony, she becomes assertive and defensive, emphasizing her dedication to her role while maintaining professionalism and sticking to the facts.



CharacterArcCritiqueSuggestions
jerry Throughout the screenplay, Jerry evolves from a purely impulsive and confrontational figure to a more nuanced character who learns the importance of collaboration and strategic thinking in activism. Initially, he is driven by emotion and a desire for immediate change, often leading to reckless decisions that put himself and others at risk. As the story progresses, Jerry faces challenges that force him to confront the consequences of his actions, leading to moments of self-reflection. He begins to understand that while passion is essential, effective activism also requires patience, dialogue, and the ability to work with others, even those he initially disagrees with. By the end of the feature, Jerry emerges as a more balanced activist, still passionate but now equipped with a deeper understanding of the complexities of social change. While Jerry's character is compelling and multifaceted, his arc could benefit from clearer stakes and more defined moments of growth. The transition from impulsive to strategic could be more pronounced, with specific events that challenge his beliefs and force him to adapt. Additionally, the emotional outbursts and confrontational nature, while engaging, may risk alienating some audience members if not balanced with moments of vulnerability and connection with others. The character's internal conflicts could be explored further to enhance relatability and depth. To improve Jerry's character arc, consider introducing a mentor figure or a contrasting character who embodies a more strategic approach to activism. This relationship could serve as a catalyst for Jerry's growth, providing him with insights that challenge his impulsive nature. Additionally, incorporating specific turning points where Jerry's decisions lead to significant consequences—both positive and negative—could highlight his evolution more effectively. Finally, moments of vulnerability, where Jerry grapples with self-doubt or the impact of his actions on those around him, would add depth and make his journey more relatable to the audience.
jerry rubin Throughout the screenplay, Jerry Rubin begins as a passionate and impulsive figure, fully immersed in the rebellious spirit of the 1960s counterculture. As the story progresses, he faces the consequences of his confrontational tactics and the realities of activism, leading to moments of self-reflection. By the climax, Jerry learns the importance of strategic thinking and collaboration, balancing his defiance with a more nuanced understanding of effective activism. In the resolution, he emerges as a more mature leader, still rebellious but now equipped with a deeper awareness of the complexities of social change. While Jerry's character is vibrant and engaging, his arc could benefit from more depth and emotional resonance. The transition from impulsive rebel to a more strategic activist feels somewhat abrupt and could use additional scenes that showcase his internal struggle. The screenplay may risk portraying him as a one-dimensional character if his motivations and vulnerabilities are not explored more thoroughly. To improve Jerry's character arc, consider adding scenes that delve into his backstory, revealing what drives his rebellious nature and the personal stakes involved in his activism. Incorporate moments of doubt or conflict with other characters that challenge his beliefs, allowing for a more gradual evolution. Additionally, showcasing the impact of his actions on those around him could create a more profound emotional connection, making his eventual growth feel earned and relatable.
abbie hoffman Throughout the screenplay, Abbie Hoffman begins as a bold and irreverent figure, unafraid to confront authority and challenge the status quo. As the narrative progresses, he faces increasing opposition and personal challenges that test his ideals and methods. His journey leads him to a moment of introspection where he must reconcile his humorous approach with the gravity of the issues at hand. Ultimately, Abbie evolves from a purely provocative activist to a more nuanced leader who understands the importance of collaboration and the weight of his influence. By the end, he learns to balance his humor with a deeper sense of responsibility, emerging as a more mature figure who still retains his wit but with a greater awareness of the impact of his actions. While Abbie's character is engaging and multifaceted, his arc could benefit from more depth in terms of personal stakes and emotional growth. The screenplay presents him as a witty provocateur, but it risks making him feel one-dimensional if his internal conflicts are not explored more thoroughly. The humor, while a defining trait, may overshadow the more serious aspects of his activism, potentially alienating audiences who seek a deeper connection with his motivations and struggles. To improve Abbie's character arc, consider incorporating more personal stakes that challenge his beliefs and force him to confront the consequences of his actions. Introduce moments of vulnerability where he grapples with the impact of his humor on those around him, particularly in high-stakes situations. Additionally, explore relationships with other characters that can serve as catalysts for his growth, allowing him to learn from their perspectives. This will create a more rounded character who evolves not just in his methods but also in his understanding of the world and his role within it.
tom Tom's character arc begins with him as a passionate and assertive activist, driven by a strong sense of justice and a desire for change. As the story progresses, he faces escalating challenges that force him to confront the consequences of his actions and the moral dilemmas inherent in activism. Initially, he is focused on a unified legal strategy and maintaining order, but as tensions rise, he becomes increasingly conflicted between his ideals and the realities of protest. This internal struggle leads him to moments of impulsiveness and emotional turmoil, where he questions his beliefs and the effectiveness of his methods. Ultimately, Tom's journey culminates in a moment of self-reflection and growth, where he learns to balance his convictions with the need for strategic thinking and respect for established protocols. By the end of the screenplay, he emerges as a more nuanced character, having reconciled his passion for justice with a deeper understanding of the complexities of activism. While Tom's character arc is rich and layered, it may benefit from clearer milestones that mark his transformation throughout the screenplay. The internal conflicts he faces are compelling, but they could be more explicitly tied to specific events or interactions with other characters to enhance the narrative flow. Additionally, the balance between his assertiveness and introspection could be better defined, as there are moments where his impulsiveness overshadows his reflective nature, making it difficult for the audience to fully grasp his internal struggles. To improve Tom's character arc, consider incorporating pivotal scenes that highlight key moments of decision-making, where he must choose between his ideals and practical solutions. These moments could involve interactions with other activists or authority figures that challenge his beliefs and force him to confront the consequences of his actions. Additionally, providing a clearer trajectory of his emotional journey—perhaps through flashbacks or dialogues that reveal his past experiences—could deepen the audience's understanding of his motivations. Finally, ensuring that his impulsive actions lead to tangible consequences will help reinforce the stakes of his journey and create a more satisfying resolution to his character arc.
abbie Abbie's character arc begins with him as a provocative and rebellious figure, fully immersed in his activism and unafraid to challenge authority. As the story progresses, he faces increasing pressure from the legal system and societal expectations, forcing him to confront the consequences of his actions. This leads to moments of introspection where he grapples with the impact of his radical methods on his relationships and the movement itself. Ultimately, Abbie evolves from a purely defiant activist to a more nuanced leader who recognizes the importance of collaboration and understanding within the activist community. By the end of the feature, he learns to balance his sharp wit and humor with a deeper sense of responsibility, emerging as a more mature and strategic figure in the fight for social change. While Abbie's character is vibrant and engaging, his arc could benefit from more depth in terms of personal stakes and emotional growth. The transition from a purely rebellious figure to a more responsible leader feels somewhat abrupt and could be better developed. Additionally, the screenplay could explore the internal conflicts Abbie faces as he navigates the consequences of his actions, providing a clearer emotional journey that resonates with the audience. To improve Abbie's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that highlight his vulnerabilities and the personal costs of his activism. This could include moments of doubt, conflict with allies, or the impact of his actions on his loved ones. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a contrasting character who challenges Abbie's methods could create opportunities for growth and reflection. By allowing Abbie to experience setbacks and learn from them, the screenplay can create a more compelling and relatable character journey that emphasizes the complexities of activism.
dave Throughout the screenplay, Dave begins as a mediator who prioritizes harmony and unity within the group. As tensions rise and conflicts escalate, he faces challenges that test his principles and commitment to the group. Initially, he tries to maintain order through diplomacy and practical solutions, but as the stakes increase, he is forced to confront his own beliefs and the limits of his approach. In the climax, Dave stands up against injustice in a pivotal moment, showcasing his courage and passion. By the end of the feature, he evolves from a passive mediator to an active leader who embraces conflict as a necessary part of achieving their goals, ultimately finding a balance between empathy and assertiveness. While Dave's character arc is compelling, it may lack sufficient depth in terms of personal stakes and internal conflict. His transformation from a mediator to a leader is clear, but the screenplay could benefit from exploring his vulnerabilities and fears more deeply. This would create a more relatable character and enhance the emotional impact of his journey. Additionally, the resolution of his arc could feel rushed if not given enough screen time to develop the nuances of his change. To improve Dave's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or moments of introspection that reveal his past experiences with conflict and leadership. This could help the audience understand his motivations and fears more clearly. Additionally, introduce a personal conflict or relationship that challenges his ideals, forcing him to confront his beliefs about harmony versus justice. Allowing for a gradual build-up to his climactic moment of courage will make his transformation feel more earned and impactful. Finally, ensure that his resolution includes a reflection on what he has learned, solidifying his growth and providing closure to his journey.
weinglass Weinglass begins as a sharp and assertive attorney who is focused on the legal process and the implications of the case. As the story progresses, he becomes more aware of the emotional stakes involved, particularly as he witnesses the impact of the trial on his clients and colleagues. His initial reserved nature evolves as he learns to express his thoughts and feelings more openly, ultimately leading him to take a stand against the prosecution in a pivotal moment. By the end of the feature, Weinglass has transformed from a cautious observer to a more engaged advocate, demonstrating growth in both his professional and personal life. While Weinglass is a well-rounded character with a clear role in the courtroom dynamics, his arc could benefit from more explicit moments of internal conflict and personal stakes. The transition from a reserved attorney to a more engaged advocate feels somewhat abrupt and could use additional development to make it more believable. The screenplay could explore his motivations and fears more deeply, allowing the audience to connect with his journey on a personal level. To improve Weinglass's character arc, consider incorporating scenes that highlight his internal struggles and the personal impact of the trial on his life. This could include flashbacks to his past experiences that shaped his cautious nature or moments of doubt that challenge his professional confidence. Additionally, introducing a subplot that connects him emotionally to the case or his clients could enhance his transformation, making his eventual engagement in the trial feel more earned and impactful. Finally, allowing for moments of vulnerability could create a deeper connection with the audience, making his growth more resonant.
kunstler Throughout the screenplay, Kunstler evolves from a cynical and pragmatic attorney focused solely on legal tactics to a more empathetic figure who recognizes the human elements behind the cases he handles. Initially, he is portrayed as confrontational and sharp-witted, often challenging the court and the prosecution with a no-nonsense approach. However, as the narrative progresses, he begins to confront his own beliefs and motivations, leading to moments of introspection and vulnerability. This transformation allows him to connect more deeply with his clients and their struggles, ultimately reinforcing his commitment to justice and accountability. By the end of the feature, Kunstler emerges not only as a skilled lawyer but also as a compassionate advocate who understands the complexities of the human experience within the legal system. While Kunstler's character is well-defined and compelling, his arc could benefit from more explicit moments of personal conflict and growth. The screenplay presents him as a strong advocate for justice, but it lacks depth in exploring his internal struggles and how they affect his professional decisions. Additionally, the character's confrontational nature, while engaging, may risk alienating some audience members if not balanced with moments of vulnerability and connection. To improve Kunstler's character arc, consider incorporating scenes that reveal his backstory, such as past cases that have shaped his views on justice and authority. Introduce a personal conflict that challenges his beliefs, perhaps through a case that hits close to home or a mentor figure who forces him to reevaluate his approach. Additionally, allow for moments of vulnerability where Kunstler connects with his clients on a deeper level, showcasing his empathy and humanizing him further. This will create a more rounded character who resonates with the audience and enhances the emotional stakes of the narrative.
judge hoffman Throughout the screenplay, Judge Hoffman begins as a figure of unwavering authority, focused solely on the legal proceedings and maintaining order in the courtroom. As the trial progresses, he faces increasing challenges that force him to confront the ethical implications of his rulings and the impact of his decisions on the defendants and the broader societal context. By the climax, he experiences a moment of introspection that leads him to question whether his strict adherence to the law serves justice or perpetuates injustice. In the resolution, he emerges as a more nuanced character, having learned to balance his authority with a deeper understanding of fairness and the human elements of the cases he oversees. While Judge Hoffman's character arc presents an interesting journey from strict authority to a more nuanced understanding of justice, it risks being overshadowed by the more dynamic characters of the defendants. His transformation may not be fully realized if it lacks sufficient internal conflict or moments of vulnerability that allow the audience to empathize with him. Additionally, his interactions could benefit from more depth, showcasing how his decisions affect not only the trial but also his personal beliefs and values. To improve Judge Hoffman's character arc, consider incorporating scenes that highlight his internal struggles, such as flashbacks to his past experiences that shaped his views on justice. Introduce moments where he is challenged by other characters, prompting him to reflect on his actions and their consequences. Additionally, allow for a pivotal scene where he must make a difficult decision that tests his principles, leading to a more profound transformation. This could create a more relatable and compelling character, enhancing the emotional stakes of the narrative.
rennie Rennie's character arc begins with him as a conflicted individual, hesitant to fully embrace his revolutionary ideals due to the potential consequences for his loved ones. As the story progresses, he faces various challenges that force him to confront his fears and the realities of activism. Through pivotal moments of conflict and reflection, he gradually transforms into a more assertive character who is willing to stand up against injustice, even at personal risk. By the climax, Rennie fully embraces his role as a mediator and peacemaker, using his voice to advocate for justice while ensuring the safety of those around him. In the resolution, he finds a way to reconcile his personal relationships with his activism, emerging as a more confident and balanced individual who understands the complexities of fighting for change. Rennie's character arc is compelling, showcasing a realistic journey of growth and self-discovery. However, it may benefit from clearer turning points that highlight his transformation. While his internal conflict is well-established, the screenplay could further emphasize the stakes involved in his decisions, making his evolution more impactful. Additionally, the balance between his introspective nature and assertiveness could be better illustrated through specific scenes that challenge him to act decisively, rather than relying solely on dialogue to convey his thoughts. To improve Rennie's character arc, consider incorporating more dynamic scenes that force him to confront authority or make difficult choices that test his values. These moments should be high-stakes and emotionally charged, allowing the audience to witness his internal struggle in action. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a contrasting character who challenges Rennie's views could provide further depth to his journey. Finally, ensure that his relationships with loved ones evolve alongside his activism, showcasing how his growth impacts those around him and vice versa.
daphne Daphne's character arc follows her journey from a witty and playful agent to a deeply committed professional who grapples with the moral complexities of her undercover work. Initially, she uses humor to navigate her interactions and deflect the seriousness of her mission. As the story progresses, she faces ethical dilemmas that challenge her beliefs and force her to confront the consequences of her actions. By the climax, Daphne transforms into a more serious and introspective character, realizing the weight of her responsibilities and the impact of her choices on others. Ultimately, she emerges as a stronger, more grounded individual who balances her intelligence and humor with a newfound sense of purpose and integrity. While Daphne's character is well-rounded and engaging, her arc could benefit from deeper emotional exploration. The transition from her witty persona to a more serious character may feel abrupt if not adequately developed. The screenplay should ensure that her internal conflicts and moral dilemmas are clearly articulated, allowing the audience to connect with her struggles on a deeper level. Additionally, her relationships with other characters could be further fleshed out to enhance her emotional journey and provide more context for her transformation. To improve Daphne's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that highlight her internal conflicts and the emotional toll of her undercover work. This could include moments of vulnerability where she questions her choices or reflects on the impact of her actions on the people she interacts with. Additionally, developing her relationships with key characters, such as Jerry or her fellow agents, could provide a richer context for her transformation. Introducing a pivotal moment where her humor clashes with the gravity of her situation could serve as a catalyst for her growth, making her eventual shift to a more serious demeanor feel earned and relatable.
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Pattern Explanation
Reflective Tone Boosts Character DevelopmentScenes with a 'Reflective' tone, such as scenes 1, 3, and 13, often show higher character change scores (e.g., 8 or 9) compared to scenes without it, suggesting that introspective moments are effectively driving character growth. This could indicate an unconscious strength in using reflection to deepen arcs, but ensuring consistent application might enhance overall development.
Humorous Elements Weaken Narrative DriveWhen tones include 'Humorous' or 'Sarcastic' (e.g., scenes 14, 19, 29), there is a tendency for lower scores in conflict, high stakes, and moving the story forward, with scene 29 scoring as low as 3 in conflict. This pattern implies that comedic relief might unintentionally dilute tension and progression, an aspect the author may want to balance to maintain momentum.
Informative Tones Reduce Emotional DepthScenes with 'Informative' or 'Professional' tones, like scenes 8 and 11, correlate with lower emotional impact scores (e.g., 6), even when other elements are strong. This suggests that expository sections may inadvertently lessen emotional engagement, potentially revealing a blind spot in blending information delivery with affective storytelling for better audience connection.
Building Climax in Later ScenesA gradual increase in high scores for emotional impact and conflict is evident from scene 40 onwards (e.g., multiple 10s in scenes 40-48), indicating a rising intensity that effectively builds to a climax. This unconscious structuring could be refined to ensure smoother transitions, highlighting the author's skill in pacing but suggesting opportunities for earlier foreshadowing.
Inconsistent Character Changes Despite High TensionWhile tones like 'Tense' and 'Confrontational' dominate and yield high grades in conflict and dialogue, character change scores remain moderately lower (e.g., 6-7 in scenes 1 and 7), revealing a potential gap where high-stakes interactions don't always translate to significant growth. This might indicate an area for the author to focus on, as character evolution could be underemphasized in favor of plot-driven tension.
Dialogue Excels in Conflict but Falters in ReflectionHigh dialogue scores are consistent in confrontational scenes (e.g., 9 in scenes 12 and 17), but in reflective or informative ones (like scene 11 with a score of 9 for dialogue but 6 for emotional impact), it doesn't always support deeper emotional layers. This correlation suggests that while dialogue is a strength in dynamic exchanges, it may lack nuance in quieter moments, offering a chance to enrich character voices across varied tones.


Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

The screenplay demonstrates a strong command of dialogue, character dynamics, and thematic depth, effectively capturing the tension and moral complexities of the narrative. The writer skillfully blends humor with serious themes, creating engaging and thought-provoking scenes. However, there are opportunities for improvement in areas such as character development, pacing, and the exploration of philosophical conflicts.

Key Improvement Areas

Dialogue
While the dialogue is engaging, there are instances where it could be sharpened to enhance character motivations and conflicts. Several analyses suggest a need for more nuanced exchanges that reveal deeper character dynamics.
Character Development
The characters are compelling, but further exploration of their internal motivations and conflicts could add depth. Many scenes highlight the importance of understanding character arcs and moral dilemmas.
Pacing
Some scenes could benefit from improved pacing to maintain tension and engagement. The analyses indicate that while tension is often present, the flow of scenes can be uneven at times.

Suggestions

Type Suggestion Rationale
Book 'Save the Cat! Writes a Screenplay' by Blake Snyder This book provides valuable insights into screenplay structure, character development, and crafting engaging narratives, which can enhance the writer's overall craft.
Screenplay 'A Few Good Men' by Aaron Sorkin Studying this screenplay will help the writer understand effective courtroom drama writing, strong dialogue, and conflict resolution in legal settings.
Video Watch behind-the-scenes footage of 'The Trial of the Chicago 7' This will provide insights into the writing and directing process, particularly in handling complex character dynamics and political themes.
Exercise Practice writing dialogue exchanges between characters with conflicting viewpoints.Practice In SceneProv This exercise will help sharpen the writer's ability to create dynamic interactions and deepen the philosophical conflicts in their scenes.
Exercise Write monologues for each character to explore their internal motivations and beliefs.Practice In SceneProv This exercise will enhance character depth and provide a deeper understanding of their internal conflicts and goals.
Exercise Practice writing scenes with escalating tension and high emotional stakes.Practice In SceneProv By honing skills in crafting intense scenes, the writer can enhance the impact of their storytelling and character development.
Stories Similar to this one

Story Explanation
The Trial of the Chicago 7 This film directly depicts the events surrounding the trial of the Chicago 7, focusing on the anti-war protests during the 1968 Democratic National Convention. It shares a similar narrative structure, exploring themes of activism, civil rights, and the clash between protestors and authorities.
Selma This film chronicles the civil rights movement, particularly the Selma to Montgomery marches led by Martin Luther King Jr. It shares themes of social justice, activism, and the struggle against systemic oppression, paralleling the fight against the Vietnam War depicted in the script.
The West Wing This television series often addresses political issues, activism, and the moral dilemmas faced by public officials. The dialogue-heavy format and focus on social justice resonate with the themes of political activism and the impact of leadership seen in the script.
One Night in Miami This film presents a fictional account of a meeting between Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali, Jim Brown, and Sam Cooke, discussing race, activism, and social change. It shares a similar tone and explores the complexities of activism and the personal struggles of influential figures.
The Assassination of Richard Nixon This film follows a man's descent into desperation as he becomes increasingly disillusioned with the American political system. It reflects themes of societal unrest and personal conflict similar to those experienced by the characters in the script.
Milk This biographical film about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay elected official in California, explores themes of activism, civil rights, and the fight against oppression. It parallels the script's focus on social justice and the impact of political movements.
The Butler This film spans several decades of American history, focusing on the civil rights movement through the eyes of a White House butler. It shares themes of racial injustice, activism, and the personal sacrifices made for social change, similar to the struggles depicted in the script.
12 Angry Men This classic film centers on a jury deliberating the fate of a young man accused of murder. It explores themes of justice, moral responsibility, and the complexities of the legal system, echoing the courtroom drama and ethical dilemmas present in the script.
The Help This film addresses racial inequality and the civil rights movement through the stories of African American maids in the 1960s. It shares themes of social justice, activism, and the fight against systemic oppression, resonating with the script's focus on the Vietnam War and civil rights.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope Trope Details Trope Explanation
The Political ProtestThe script features multiple scenes of protests against the Vietnam War, highlighting the activism of various characters.This trope involves characters engaging in protests to express their political beliefs or to challenge authority. An example is the protests in 'The Hunger Games' where citizens rise against the oppressive Capitol.
The UnderdogThe defendants in the trial are portrayed as underdogs fighting against a powerful government.This trope features characters who are at a disadvantage but strive to overcome obstacles. An example is 'Rocky,' where an underdog boxer fights against a champion.
The TrialThe script centers around a high-profile trial that examines the actions of the defendants during the protests.
Voice of ReasonCharacters like Tom Hayden often serve as the voice of reason, advocating for peaceful protest amidst chaos.This trope features a character who provides logical arguments and guidance to others. An example is Spock from 'Star Trek,' who often serves as the rational voice among emotional crew members.
The MentorCharacters like David Dellinger act as mentors, guiding younger activists in their fight against the war.This trope involves a wise character who provides guidance to a younger protagonist. An example is Mr. Miyagi in 'The Karate Kid,' who teaches martial arts and life lessons.
The Tragic HeroCharacters like Bobby Seale face tragic outcomes despite their noble intentions.This trope features a protagonist with noble intentions who ultimately faces downfall. An example is Hamlet, whose tragic flaws lead to his demise.
The Media CircusThe trial and protests attract significant media attention, creating a spectacle.This trope involves events that become sensationalized by the media. An example is 'The Social Network,' which depicts the media frenzy surrounding Facebook's rise.
The Power of WordsCharacters use speeches and rhetoric to inspire and mobilize others.This trope highlights the impact of language and persuasion. An example is 'Dead Poets Society,' where a teacher inspires students through poetry.
The Chaotic ProtestScenes depict protests escalating into chaos and violence.This trope illustrates how protests can spiral out of control. An example is 'V for Vendetta,' where protests lead to violent confrontations with authorities.


Theme Theme Details Themee Explanation
Freedom of Speech and Protest vs. Government ControlThe script centers on the Chicago Seven trial, which arose from protests against the Vietnam War during the 1968 Democratic National Convention. The protests themselves, the defendants' defiant courtroom behavior, and the government's prosecution all highlight this tension. The legal strategy, the defendants' rhetoric, and the police response are all direct manifestations of this theme.This theme explores the fundamental right to protest and express dissent against government policies, contrasted with the state's efforts to maintain order and suppress perceived threats to its authority. It examines the limits of free speech and assembly when those expressions challenge the status quo or are deemed disruptive.
Strengthening Freedom of Speech and Protest vs. Government Control:
Suggestion Type How to Strengthen the Theme
Dialogue - Scene Scene 2 When Abbie jokingly mentions sexual encounters as a reason to go to Chicago, fortify this by having him articulate *why* he believes this is a valid form of protest or expression of freedom in contrast to the government's control. For instance, he could say something like, 'And if the government wants to control our lives, control our bodies, control who we love, well, then, we'll just have to re-claim those freedoms in the streets, won't we?' This explicitly links personal freedom to the broader theme of protesting government overreach.
Visual - Scene Scene 5 While the scene visually demonstrates making a Molotov cocktail and intercuts with an FBI memo, elevate the theme by visually contrasting the 'homemade' nature of the protest tools with sophisticated, oppressive government surveillance. When the FBI memo is shown, perhaps briefly overlay or intercut a shot of a wiretap device, a surveillance camera, or a government operative observing through binoculars, emphasizing the imbalance of power and the 'us vs. them' dynamic of freedom vs. control.
Action - Scene Scene 7 During Dellinger's press conference where he emphasizes non-violence, have him perform a small, symbolic act that underscores the theme. For example, as he speaks about influencing hearts and minds, he could subtly hand a small, hand-painted peace sign or a 'Free Speech' sticker to a reporter in the front row. This visually reinforces his message of peaceful dissent against a backdrop of government control that is preparing for crackdown.
Character Arc - Scene Scene 13 Tom's frustration with Abbie and Jerry's disruptive tactics is a key conflict. To strengthen the theme, frame Tom's desire for a more strategic, less overtly provocative approach not just as a tactical disagreement, but as a deeper belief in the *right way* to exercise freedom of speech and protest. He could articulate that true freedom of speech isn't just about making noise, but about making a lasting impact that the government cannot easily dismiss. For instance, he could say, 'They want to see us as clowns. They want to shut us down. If we give them that excuse, we’re handing them the keys to silencing us all.'
Story Arc - Scene Scene 47 When Judge Hoffman rules that Ramsey Clark's testimony will not be heard by the jury, fortify the theme by having him explicitly state a reason that, on its surface, sounds procedural but carries the implication of government control over narrative. He could say something like, 'The court must maintain order and prevent the introduction of potentially inflammatory or irrelevant testimony that could prejudice the jury against the established narrative.' This highlights how the legal system, under government influence, can be used to suppress inconvenient truths and maintain control over the story the public is allowed to hear.
The Nature of Justice and InjusticeThe script questions the fairness and impartiality of the judicial system. The judge's biased rulings, the prosecution's use of questionable witnesses (undercover agents), the government's alleged fabrication of evidence (the Panther note), the denial of due process (Seale's treatment), and the political motivations behind the prosecution all point to a system that may not be delivering true justice.This theme delves into the core principles of justice, fairness, and impartiality within a legal and societal framework. It investigates whether the legal system operates equitably, or if it is influenced by political agendas, power imbalances, and inherent biases.
The Futility of Peaceful Protest vs. Systemic OppressionThe script contrasts the defendants' attempts at peaceful protest (Dellinger's commitment, Hayden's initial approach) with the violent police response and the government's actions. It shows how even peaceful intentions were met with force, and how figures like MLK and RFK, who advocated for change, were assassinated. The Yippies' embrace of chaos and counter-culture is partly a reaction to the perceived failure of strictly peaceful methods.This theme examines whether non-violent methods of protest are effective in achieving change when confronted by an entrenched and oppressive power structure. It questions whether systemic issues can be resolved through dialogue and peaceful demonstration, or if more radical, confrontational approaches are necessitated by the nature of oppression.
The Corrupting Influence of PowerThe script portrays figures in positions of power – judges, prosecutors, politicians, and law enforcement – as acting with bias and self-interest. The pressure to indict, the desire to win at all costs, the manipulation of legal processes, and the aggressive tactics used by the police all suggest that power can lead to unethical and oppressive behavior.This theme explores how unchecked authority and the pursuit of power can lead to the erosion of principles, integrity, and fairness. It examines how individuals and institutions, when wielding significant influence, can be tempted to abuse their position for personal or political gain, often at the expense of others.
The Power and Limitations of Counter-Culture and RadicalismThe Yippies (Hoffman and Rubin) represent a radical, counter-cultural approach that uses humor, provocation, and confrontational tactics. The script shows the effectiveness of their style in gaining media attention and challenging norms, but also its potential to alienate and be misinterpreted, and its contribution to the chaos that the government uses as justification for control.This theme analyzes the impact and effectiveness of movements and individuals who actively challenge societal norms and established institutions through unconventional, often radical, means. It explores both the potential for these movements to instigate change and their inherent risks and limitations.
The Intersection of Race and Political ActivismThe script highlights the experiences of Black activists like Bobby Seale and Fred Hampton, juxtaposing their struggle for civil rights and against oppression with the broader anti-war movement. The assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. and the police raid that kills Fred Hampton underscore the violent suppression faced by Black leaders and the intersection of racial justice with political dissent.This theme examines how racial identity and experiences intersect with political movements and the fight for fundamental rights. It explores the unique challenges faced by minority groups within broader social justice struggles and the ways in which race influences both activism and governmental responses.
Idealism vs. Pragmatism in ActivismThe script presents a spectrum of approaches to activism, from Dellinger's unwavering commitment to non-violence to the Yippies' embrace of chaos, and Hayden's internal conflict about strategy. The debate over how to conduct the trial – as a platform for protest versus a genuine defense – embodies this tension.This theme explores the inherent conflict between holding onto idealistic principles and adapting to practical realities in pursuit of a cause. It examines the compromises, strategic decisions, and philosophical debates that arise when activists try to achieve their goals within complex and often hostile environments.
The Role of Media and Public PerceptionThe script shows how the activists attempt to use the media (press conferences, public statements) to their advantage, and how the government and prosecution also leverage media narratives. The courtroom itself becomes a spectacle, and the trial's outcome is influenced by public opinion and media coverage.This theme investigates the influence of mass media in shaping public opinion, framing narratives, and impacting the outcome of political and legal events. It examines how information is disseminated, manipulated, and perceived by the public in the context of social and political movements.
The Personal Cost of Activism and ResistanceThe script depicts the personal toll activism takes on the defendants and their loved ones – the stress, the legal battles, the threat of violence, and ultimately, the convictions and sentences. The assassinations of King and Kennedy also highlight the extreme personal cost of challenging the establishment.This theme focuses on the sacrifices, hardships, and emotional, psychological, and physical toll that individuals endure when they engage in activism and challenge established power structures. It explores the personal price of standing up for one's beliefs in the face of adversity.



Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site Description
Studio Binder Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts
Voice Analysis
Summary: The writer's voice is characterized by sharp, rapid-fire, and often witty dialogue that drives the narrative and reveals character. There's a strong emphasis on political and social commentary, often infused with a sense of urgency and defiance. The dialogue frequently juxtaposes humor and seriousness, creating a unique tone that acknowledges the absurdity of the situations while respecting their gravity. Narrative descriptions are concise yet evocative, setting a palpable mood. Direction often highlights power dynamics, tension, and ideological clashes through character interactions and scene structure.
Voice Contribution The writer's voice contributes significantly to the script's overall mood, which is a dynamic blend of tension, intellectual engagement, and dark humor. It elevates the themes of activism, resistance, and the clash between authority and counterculture by imbuing the characters with distinct, compelling voices that resonate with their ideological stances. The rapid-fire dialogue and sharp wit add depth to the characters, making their arguments and convictions more impactful and their struggles more relatable. This voice ensures the script is not just a historical account but a living, breathing exploration of the era's conflicts and the human beings caught within them.
Best Representation Scene 12 - Chaos in the Courtroom
Best Scene Explanation Scene 12 best showcases the author's unique voice due to its masterful blend of humor, tension, and social commentary within a courtroom setting. The dialogue is sharp and rapid, with Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin providing sarcastic commentary amidst the turmoil. Bobby Seale's frustrated clashes with the judge and prosecutors, coupled with the immediate conflicts over courtroom decorum, perfectly encapsulate the writer's ability to capture the emotional intensity and dark humor of the defendants' situation. This scene exemplifies the writer's talent for using dialogue to reveal character, build tension, and underscore the thematic concerns of the screenplay.
Originality
  • Overall originality score: 9
  • Overall originality explanation: The script presents a highly original narrative that intertwines historical events, personal stories, and social commentary, particularly focusing on the Vietnam War and civil rights movements. Each scene offers fresh perspectives on activism, protest dynamics, and the complexities of political and legal struggles, showcasing authentic character interactions and dialogue that resonate with the historical context. The use of archival footage, intercutting between different settings, and the blending of humor with serious themes contribute to a unique storytelling approach that stands out in the genre.
  • Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the script are the juxtaposition of courtroom drama with real historical events, such as the chaotic protests in Grant Park, the emotional weight of Bobby Seale's treatment in court, and the defendants' defiant actions during their trial. Additionally, the use of humor in the face of serious issues, such as Abbie Hoffman's comedic commentary during tense moments, adds a layer of originality that is rarely seen in traditional legal dramas.
  • Overall unpredictability score: 8.5
  • Overall unpredictability explanation: The script maintains a high level of unpredictability through its dynamic character interactions and the unfolding of historical events that are both familiar and surprising. The characters' decisions, particularly in the face of authority and their responses to escalating tensions, create a sense of uncertainty about the outcomes. The blend of real historical context with fictionalized elements keeps the audience engaged and guessing, especially as the characters navigate the complexities of activism and legal challenges.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal GoalsThroughout the script, the protagonist's internal goals evolve from seeking personal validation and expression of activism in response to societal injustices, to grappling with ethical dilemmas surrounding protest tactics and their consequences, ultimately culminating in a desire for justice and accountability in the face of systemic oppression.
External Goals The protagonist's external goals revolve around organizing and executing protests aimed at challenging the establishment while advocating for social justice, which evolve into navigating the legal system to defend themselves and others accused as they face a monopolized legal narrative during the trial.
Philosophical Conflict The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around individual freedom versus institutional authority, encapsulated in the struggle of activists seeking to protest against a backdrop of governmental repression.


Character Development Contribution: The goals and conflicts contribute to character development by showcasing their growth from individualistic motives to a collective consciousness, revealing the characters' vulnerabilities and the complexity behind their choices as they engage in activism.

Narrative Structure Contribution: The interplay of goals and conflicts drives the narrative structure by creating rising tensions that propel the story forward, with contrasting scenes of activism and courtroom drama illustrating the stakes involved in both realms.

Thematic Depth Contribution: These elements contribute to thematic depth by highlighting the persistent struggle for justice in the face of authority, the moral complexities of activism, and the resilience against oppression, ultimately framing the characters' journey within a broader commentary on societal values and systemic dysfunction.


Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site Description
Creative Screenwriting How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?
World Building
  • Physical environment: The world depicted in the script is set primarily in the late 1960s United States, with a focus on urban and suburban locations in Chicago during the Democratic National Convention and the subsequent trial. Key physical settings include crowded campus auditoriums, chaotic protest sites like Grant Park, formal courtrooms, suburban driveways, activist headquarters, and government offices. These environments range from the sweltering heat of outdoor rallies and the darkness of night-time protests to the structured, confined spaces of legal proceedings, often marked by elements like tear gas, riot police barricades, and symbolic locations such as the Hilton Hotel and Natural History Museum. This creates a dynamic backdrop that shifts between open, volatile public spaces and controlled, institutional interiors, emphasizing the contrast between freedom and repression.
  • Culture: The cultural elements reflect the turbulent counterculture movement of the 1960s, characterized by anti-war activism, civil rights struggles, and youth rebellion. Themes of non-violence versus militancy, draft resistance, and social justice are prominent, with references to figures like Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin using humor, drugs, and provocative tactics to challenge authority. Cultural clashes are evident in generational divides, racial tensions, and the embrace of free love and protest art, as seen in events like burning draft cards and bras, and speeches drawing on historical and revolutionary rhetoric. This culture of dissent and creativity underscores a society in flux, where idealism and radicalism intersect with mainstream norms.
  • Society: Society is portrayed as deeply divided and hierarchical, with a clear contrast between establishment figures (e.g., judges, police, government officials) and counterculture activists (e.g., SDS, Yippies, Black Panthers). The societal structure highlights power dynamics, political intrigue, and institutional bias, as seen in the draft system, police brutality, and the legal system's role in suppressing dissent. Themes of racial inequality, generational conflict, and the influence of media and public opinion shape interactions, with groups like the Chicago 7 representing a broader movement against war and oppression. This structure fosters a sense of societal unrest, where individual actions are constrained or catalyzed by systemic forces like government surveillance and political motivations.
  • Technology: Technology in the script is minimal and reflective of the 1960s era, including basic tools like typewriters, telephones, movie screens for projecting footage, tear gas canisters, riot gear, cameras, microphones, and vehicles such as police cars and jeeps with concertina wire. These elements are used to enhance surveillance, communication, and crowd control, emphasizing the grassroots nature of activism without advanced digital tools. For instance, typewriters symbolize bureaucratic and clandestine operations, while cameras highlight media scrutiny, adding a layer of realism and underscoring how technology amplifies or exposes conflicts without dominating the narrative.
  • Characters influence: The physical environment, culture, society, and technology profoundly shape the characters' experiences and actions by creating a high-stakes atmosphere of conflict and urgency. Activists like Tom Hayden and Abbie Hoffman are driven to radical tactics by the chaotic protest settings and societal oppression, while lawyers such as William Kunstler navigate biased courtrooms and institutional hurdles, influencing their strategic decisions. Cultural elements foster rebellion and moral dilemmas, as seen in Abbie's use of humor to cope with repression, and societal structures amplify tensions, leading characters to acts of defiance or compliance. Technology, like surveillance tools, heightens paranoia and forces characters to adapt, such as evading police or using media for exposure, ultimately defining their personal growth, relationships, and commitment to their causes amid constant threat and scrutiny.
  • Narrative contribution: The world elements drive the narrative by establishing a framework of escalating conflict from the Vietnam War protests to the Chicago 7 trial, creating a rhythmic tension through contrasting settings (e.g., open parks vs. confined courtrooms). Physical environments facilitate key plot points, like violent confrontations in Grant Park, while cultural and societal aspects build interpersonal and ideological clashes, propelling character arcs and plot twists. Technology adds authenticity and plot devices, such as taped recordings used in cross-examinations, enhancing the story's pace and realism. Overall, these elements contribute to a cohesive narrative arc that explores historical events, blending drama, humor, and tragedy to illustrate the consequences of activism and authority.
  • Thematic depth contribution: The world building deepens the script's thematic exploration of justice, freedom, and the human cost of political activism by mirroring the era's real-world complexities. The physical and societal elements highlight themes of oppression and resistance, underscoring how institutional power suppresses dissent and fuels moral dilemmas. Cultural aspects enrich themes of identity and revolution, showing how counterculture challenges societal norms and exposes hypocrisies. Technology reinforces themes of surveillance and media influence, emphasizing the erosion of privacy and the role of public perception in shaping history. Together, these elements add layers of irony, tragedy, and hope, critiquing government overreach and celebrating the enduring spirit of protest, making the narrative a poignant commentary on civil liberties and social change.
Story Engine Analysis

central conflict

The central conflict revolves around the anti-war activists' struggle against the U.S. government and law enforcement during the 1968 Democratic National Convention protests, highlighting the clash between ideals of peace and the violent repression of dissent.

primary motivations

  • The activists are motivated by a desire to end the Vietnam War and promote social justice.
  • The government seeks to maintain order and suppress what it perceives as a threat to national security.
  • Personal motivations of characters like Tom Hayden and Abbie Hoffman to challenge the status quo and advocate for change.

catalysts

  • The escalation of the Vietnam War and the increase in troop deployments.
  • The assassinations of key figures like Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy, which galvanize the activist movement.
  • The decision to hold the Democratic National Convention in Chicago, which becomes a focal point for protests.

barriers

  • Government repression and police violence against protesters.
  • Legal challenges and the biased judicial system represented by Judge Hoffman.
  • Internal conflicts among the activists regarding strategy and approach.

themes

  • The struggle for civil rights and social justice.
  • The impact of political dissent and activism on society.
  • The consequences of violence and the moral implications of protest.

stakes

The stakes include the potential for significant prison sentences for the defendants, the future of the anti-war movement, and the broader implications for civil liberties in America.

uniqueness factor

The story uniquely intertwines historical events with personal narratives, showcasing the chaotic and often absurd nature of political activism during a pivotal moment in American history.

audience hook

The main audience hook lies in the dramatic tension of the courtroom scenes, the emotional weight of the characters' struggles, and the historical significance of the events depicted.

paradoxical engine or bisociation

The paradoxical story engine is the juxtaposition of the idealistic goals of the activists against the harsh realities of governmental power and societal norms, creating a tension that drives the narrative forward.

paradoxical engine or bisociation 2

Another aspect of bisociation is the blending of humor and tragedy throughout the narrative, illustrating how activists use satire and absurdity to cope with the serious nature of their fight against oppression.


Pass / Consider / Recommend Analysis
HR
Grok
Executive Summary
Aaron Sorkin's 'The Trial of the Chicago 7' is a masterfully crafted historical courtroom drama that chronicles the 1969 trial of anti-Vietnam War activists, blending sharp wit, ideological clashes, and poignant historical context to deliver a timeless exploration of free speech, justice, and protest. With exceptional dialogue, well-defined character arcs, and a propulsive narrative that interweaves flashbacks with trial proceedings, the script excels in thematic consistency and emotional resonance, making it a compelling, commercially viable project for audiences interested in political history and social justice themes.
Strengths
  • The dialogue is razor-sharp and intellectually engaging, driving character conflicts and thematic depth while maintaining authenticity to the era's rhetoric. high ( Scene 12 (41) Scene 59 (207) )
  • The narrative structure masterfully balances prologue flashbacks with trial scenes, creating a cohesive timeline that builds tension and provides context without overwhelming the present-day drama. high ( Scene 1-7 Scene 60 (208) )
  • Character arcs, particularly for Tom Hayden and Abbie Hoffman, evolve organically from ideological adversaries to reluctant allies, showcasing nuanced growth amid escalating stakes. high ( Scene 9 (37) Scene 43 (157) )
  • Themes of free speech, institutional bias, and the cost of dissent are consistently woven throughout, culminating in a resonant resolution that ties personal and political struggles. high ( Scene 12 (41) Scene 47 (162) )
  • The emotional climax with the reading of fallen soldiers' names delivers a powerful, defiant payoff that reinforces the script's anti-war message and humanizes the stakes. medium ( Scene 60 (208) )
Areas of Improvement
  • Supporting characters like Froines and Weiner remain somewhat peripheral, with limited individual development that could deepen the ensemble dynamic. medium ( Scene 12 (41) Scene 22 (69) )
  • The extended trial sequences occasionally repeat confrontational beats, which could be tightened to sustain momentum without feeling formulaic. medium ( Scene 38-59 )
  • While the post-trial epilogue via titles is efficient, it resolves some arcs (e.g., Bobby Seale's) abruptly, potentially benefiting from a brief final scene for closure. low ( Scene 60 (208) )
Missing Elements
  • Deeper exploration of female characters like Sondra or Claire, who appear briefly but could provide additional perspectives on the movement's gender dynamics. medium
  • More explicit ties between the trial's outcome and broader 1970s political shifts, such as Watergate, to heighten the script's prophetic edge. low
  • A clearer visual or auditory cue during Ramsey Clark's testimony to underscore its suppressed impact on the jury, enhancing narrative irony. low ( Scene 47 (162) )
Notable Points
  • Effective integration of file footage and voice-overs in the prologue sets a documentary-like tone, immersing viewers in the historical chaos. high ( Scene 1-7 )
  • The gagging of Bobby Seale serves as a visceral symbol of judicial overreach, heightening the script's critique of the system. high ( Scene 42 (156) )
  • Abbie's testimony cleverly uses biblical and historical references to subvert the prosecution's narrative, showcasing Sorkin's intellectual layering. medium ( Scene 59 (207) )
  • The use of on-screen titles for epilogue avoids a rushed montage, providing factual closure while maintaining dramatic integrity. medium ( Scene 60 (208) )
Blind Spots
  • Underdeveloped peripheral perspectives The script focuses intensely on the male defendants' viewpoints, with limited insight into how the events affected women or minorities outside the core group, such as Sondra's brief scene in Sequence 13 or the gallery reactions, potentially overlooking broader societal impacts. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • None evident As a professional Sorkin script, it exhibits polished formatting, consistent voice, and sophisticated structure without common errors like inconsistent sluglines or expository dialogue dumps. low
HR
Gemini
Executive Summary
Aaron Sorkin's screenplay for 'The Trial of the Chicago 7' is a masterclass in historical drama, meticulously weaving together the personal narratives of the defendants and the political machinations of the government. The script excels in its sharp, witty dialogue, complex character development, and its unflinching exploration of themes like protest, justice, and the abuse of power. While minor pacing adjustments could be made, the overall narrative is compelling, leaving a profound impact through its insightful portrayal of a pivotal moment in American history. Its unique blend of historical accuracy, Sorkinian dialogue, and profound thematic resonance makes it a standout script.
Strengths
Areas of Improvement
  • While the prologue effectively sets the historical context, some of the early montage sequences, though thematically relevant, could be slightly streamlined or integrated more organically into the narrative to avoid feeling overly expository or like a historical document rather than dramatic storytelling. medium ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 2 (9) Scene 6 (23) Scene 7 (35) )
  • The pacing, while generally excellent due to Sorkin's dialogue, occasionally has moments where the back-and-forth between lawyers and the judge can feel slightly repetitive in its depiction of courtroom obstructionism. While essential to the plot, a tighter edit in these specific sequences could enhance momentum. medium ( Scene 39 (120) Scene 40 (152) Scene 40 (156) )
  • While the distinct personalities of the defendants are well-established, the interplay between some of the lesser-focused defendants (e.g., Froines and Weiner) could be slightly more fleshed out beyond their initial introduction, ensuring they feel like individuals rather than a collective unit. low ( Scene 1 (13) Scene 2 (11) Scene 3 (12) )
  • The trial itself, while dramatically compelling, can sometimes feel like a series of well-executed but somewhat predictable legal skirmishes. More surprise or unexpected turns in the legal strategies or evidence presented could elevate the narrative tension. medium ( Scene 12 (41) Scene 40 (152) Scene 40 (156) )
Missing Elements
  • While the film focuses on the trial, a slightly more detailed exploration of the defendants' lives *before* their involvement in the protest, beyond brief introductions, could have provided further depth to their motivations and the personal stakes involved. low
  • The script could benefit from a more explicit depiction of the internal pressures or differing opinions within the prosecution team beyond the initial meeting with Mitchell, offering a more rounded antagonist perspective. low ( Scene 9 (37) Scene 8 (36) )
  • Although the script effectively shows the immediate aftermath of the trial, a more detailed exploration of the long-term impact on the individual defendants and the broader protest movement, beyond the provided epilogues, could be considered. low
Notable Points
Blind Spots
  • Underestimation of audience's knowledge of historical context While the prologue and file footage establish the historical backdrop, some viewers might benefit from a slightly more explicit or integrated explanation of the nuances of the Vietnam War's impact, the specific political climate of 1968, and the radical ideologies represented by each defendant beyond their initial introductions. For instance, the Yippie's counter-cultural philosophy versus SDS's more structured activism could be further clarified implicitly through their interactions. medium
  • Over-reliance on legal jargon and courtroom procedural intricacies While essential for the genre, the script occasionally delves into legal arguments and objections that, while accurate, might alienate audiences less familiar with courtroom drama. The script navigates this well for the most part, but a few instances could be simplified or dramatized more for clarity. For example, the voir dire process with witness Clark (Scene 162) is detailed but could be visually or dialogue-driven more dynamically. low
Amateur Giveaways
  • Expositional dialogue While Sorkin's dialogue is generally a strength, some early character introductions and explanations of the historical context (e.g., Scene 1, 2, 3) verge on being overly expository. While necessary for setup, the information is sometimes delivered in a way that feels like a historical lecture rather than organic conversation. However, this is largely mitigated by the sharpness of the dialogue. low
  • Uneven character development for minor characters While the main defendants and key figures are well-developed, some of the supporting defendants (e.g., Froines and Weiner) are largely undifferentiated and serve more as part of the group. Their dialogue and actions, while contributing to the collective voice, don't always offer unique individual arcs, making them feel somewhat interchangeable in places (Scene 41). low
R
GPT5
Executive Summary
Aaron Sorkin’s The Trial of the Chicago 7 is a propulsive, expertly structured ensemble courtroom drama that turns a historic political event into an emotionally charged, character-driven story. Its greatest strengths are razor-sharp dialogue, clear thematic throughlines (free speech vs. state power), and memorable set-piece moments (Bobby Seale gagging, the Grant Park confrontation, Ramsey Clark’s barred testimony). The script balances archival prologue and courtroom set pieces to sustain momentum and stakes across a long running time. Weaknesses are chiefly in uneven character depth for some secondary figures, occasional info-dumps, and a few pacing stumbles in the trial-heavy middle where dramatic redundancy creeps in. The script is theatrically bold and cinematically vivid and stands out as a compelling hybrid of legal drama, political history and ensemble character study.
Strengths
Areas of Improvement
  • Some character arcs are under-explored — particularly for Bobby Seale beyond the trauma set pieces, and for several secondary defendants (Weiner, Froines) who remain underwritten. The emotional throughlines for these figures could be deepened for greater payoff. high ( Scene 13 (Defense conference (strategy)) Scene 41 (Bobby Seale / Fred Hampton aftermath) )
  • Mid-trial pacing drags in places: repeated courtroom skirmishes and procedural pages can feel redundant. Tighter beats or pruning would sharpen forward motion and preserve the impact of major set pieces. high ( Scene 23 (Jury sequestration / juror dismissal (voir dire)) )
  • The script dramatizes shocking historical moments well, but sometimes under-contextualizes the immediate legal and emotional consequences (e.g., the handling and aftermath of Bobby Seale's treatment could use more connective tissue to deepen audience understanding). medium ( Scene 42 (Bobby gagged and bound in court) )
  • Schultz is presented with a moral conflict (reluctant prosecutor), but his internal arc is not fully tracked to resolution — the prosecution’s internal politics are visible, but prosecutorial psychology is not always fully dramatized. medium ( Scene 9 (Mitchell/Schultz briefing) )
  • Certain plot devices (the tape of Tom) are excellent but feel almost deus ex machina in places; better integration earlier in the script (planting the danger of surveillance and recording) would make these moments feel more earned. medium ( Scene 44 (Tom’s tape revelation / trial tapes) )
Missing Elements
  • More exploration of the Attorney General/White House decision-making would strengthen the political stakes — we see Mitchell’s orders, but lack a deeper look at how and why the national political machine targeted the defendants. high ( Scene 9 (Justice Department scenes) )
  • A fuller treatment of Fred Hampton’s death and its ripple on Bobby Seale and the Panthers would provide stronger emotional and historical grounding; currently it is powerful but somewhat compressed. high ( Scene 41 (Fred Hampton aftermath / Bobby visit) )
  • Juror perspectives and civilian Chicago voices are underused. Adding small, grounded viewpoints (jurors, local residents, delegates) would increase dimensionality and tension. medium ( Scene 11 (Courtroom (opening)) )
  • More interior exploration of key defense lawyers (Kunstler, Weinglass) outside of courtroom bravado would round out motivations and ethical calculations. medium ( Scene 13 (Defense strategy meeting) )
  • Some connective historical background for audiences less familiar with 1968 (beyond the prologue) — e.g., quick clarifiers about the Rap Brown law, Chicago policing culture — would help viewers follow legal specifics without diluting dramatic momentum. low ( Scene 1 (Prologue) )
Notable Points
Blind Spots
  • Uneven representation of marginalized perspectives Women and several Black characters (beyond Bobby Seale and Fred Hampton) are present but underwritten. Female characters like Sondra, Bernadine and Daphne function mainly as plot or emotional foils rather than fully realized players; similarly, the broader Black Chicago community and its varied responses to the Panthers and the trial are not fully explored. Example: Sondra’s scenes (Sequence 13) show intimate stakes but the script rarely returns to develop her voice, and the Fred Hampton assassination (Sequence 151) is devastating but feels compressed. high
  • Prosecutorial interiority underdeveloped Richard Schultz is set up with a moral dilemma (Sequence 9) but the script does not always follow through with a clear inner arc to his ultimate choices or consequences — we see him in scenes but lack scenes that humanize his decision-making beyond exposition and political coaching. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Occasional exposition-heavy beats There are moments where the script leans on courtroom explanation and legalese to move the plot instead of dramatizing those points through character action (e.g., extended legal back-and-forths that recap prior events). While functional, these feel stagey and could be tightened or shown rather than told (examples in sequences 14–23). medium
  • Uneven secondary-characterization Several secondary defendants and supporting players receive witty lines but not sustained arcs (Weiner, Froines, some jurors). This can make the ensemble feel top-heavy and reduce empathy for characters whose fates are linked to the trial outcome. medium
R
Claude
Executive Summary
The Trial of the Chicago 7 is a compelling historical drama that explores the tumultuous events surrounding the 1968 Democratic National Convention protests and the subsequent trial of the protest organizers. The script effectively balances the personal narratives of the key characters with the broader sociopolitical context, creating a rich and nuanced portrayal of a pivotal moment in American history. While the script has some areas for improvement, such as pacing and character development, its overall strengths, including its strong dialogue, thematic depth, and unique stylistic choices, make it a standout work that would be of great interest to both audiences and industry professionals.
Strengths
  • The script opens with a powerful and visceral prologue that effectively sets the stage for the tumultuous events to come, using a combination of news footage, voiceovers, and striking visual imagery to immerse the audience in the social and political unrest of the late 1960s. high ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 2 (10) )
  • The script's use of non-linear storytelling, which jumps between the courtroom proceedings and the events leading up to the protests, creates a compelling narrative structure that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journeys. high ( Scene 9 (37) Scene 12 (41) )
  • The script's dialogue is sharp, witty, and often thought-provoking, with characters engaging in rich, nuanced conversations that reveal their motivations, beliefs, and the broader sociopolitical context. high ( Scene 2 (10) Scene 3 (12) )
  • The script's exploration of the characters' personal journeys, particularly the evolving relationship between Tom Hayden and Abbie Hoffman, adds depth and complexity to the narrative, making the characters more relatable and compelling. medium ( Scene 43 (151) Scene 46 (161) )
  • The script's integration of real-world footage and historical events, such as the testimony of former Attorney General Ramsey Clark and the dramatic courtroom confrontations, lends an authenticity and gravitas to the narrative that enhances the overall impact. high ( Scene 41 (152) Scene 42 (156) )
Areas of Improvement
  • The pacing of the script can feel uneven at times, with some sections dragging or feeling rushed, particularly in the later stages of the trial. A more consistent and deliberate pacing would help maintain the audience's engagement throughout the entire narrative. medium ( Scene 40 (151) Scene 41 (152) )
  • While the script does a strong job of exploring the personal narratives of the key characters, some of the supporting characters, such as Lee Weiner and John Froines, could benefit from more in-depth development to make them more distinct and memorable. medium ( Scene 2 (10) Scene 3 (12) )
  • The script could potentially benefit from a more cohesive and consistent thematic throughline, as some of the thematic elements, such as the role of the government and the nature of protest, could be more explicitly explored and developed throughout the narrative. medium ( Scene 41 (152) Scene 42 (156) )
Missing Elements
  • While the script does a strong job of exploring the personal narratives of the key characters, there could be an opportunity to delve deeper into the broader sociopolitical context and the historical significance of the events depicted, providing more context and background for the audience. medium ( Scene 2 (10) Scene 3 (12) )
  • The script could potentially benefit from a more explicit exploration of the role of the media and its influence on the public's perception of the events, as this was a significant factor in the trial and the broader social and political landscape of the time. medium ( Scene 40 (151) Scene 41 (152) )
Notable Points
  • The script's use of a freeze-frame tableau at the end, accompanied by a series of informative title cards, provides a powerful and impactful conclusion that leaves the audience with a sense of the long-term consequences and legacy of the events depicted. high ( Scene 42 (156) )
  • The script's incorporation of real-world footage and historical events, such as the testimony of former Attorney General Ramsey Clark and the dramatic courtroom confrontations, lends an authenticity and gravitas to the narrative that enhances the overall impact. high ( Scene 9 (37) Scene 12 (41) )
  • The script's exploration of the evolving relationship between Tom Hayden and Abbie Hoffman, and the way their differing approaches to protest and activism shape the narrative, is a particularly compelling and well-executed aspect of the script. high ( Scene 43 (151) Scene 46 (161) )
Blind Spots
  • Lack of diverse perspectives While the script does a strong job of exploring the personal narratives of the key characters, there could be an opportunity to incorporate more diverse perspectives, particularly from marginalized communities, to provide a more well-rounded and inclusive portrayal of the events and their impact. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Uneven pacing As noted in the areas of improvement, the pacing of the script can feel uneven at times, with some sections dragging or feeling rushed. This could be addressed through more careful editing and refinement of the narrative structure. medium
R
DeepSeek
Executive Summary
Aaron Sorkin's 'The Trial of the Chicago 7' is a masterfully crafted historical courtroom drama that combines sharp political commentary with compelling character dynamics. The script excels in its rapid-fire dialogue, thematic depth, and ability to make complex legal proceedings accessible and engaging. While it maintains strong narrative momentum and character arcs throughout, it occasionally prioritizes ideological debate over emotional depth and relies heavily on Sorkin's signature dialogue patterns. The script successfully balances multiple perspectives while delivering a powerful critique of institutional power and the nature of protest.
Strengths
Areas of Improvement
Missing Elements
  • Deeper exploration of the defendants' personal lives and motivations beyond their political personas medium
  • More nuanced portrayal of the jury's perspective and decision-making process low ( Scene Sequence number 60 (208) )
  • Greater emotional connection between the defendants and the actual victims of the Vietnam War they're protesting medium
  • More substantial development of Richard Schultz's character beyond his prosecutorial role low ( Scene Sequence number 39 (125-126) )
Notable Points
Blind Spots
  • Ideological Balance While the script attempts to show multiple perspectives, it consistently portrays the prosecution and judicial system as cartoonishly villainous, particularly Judge Hoffman. This reduces some of the moral complexity that could make the conflict more nuanced. medium
  • Emotional Depth vs Intellectual Debate The script frequently prioritizes ideological arguments and witty repartee over deeper emotional exploration of characters' personal stakes and relationships. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Dialogue Patterns Occasionally falls into predictable Sorkin-esque patterns where characters speak in perfectly crafted speeches rather than natural conversation, particularly in ideological debates. low
  • Historical Compression Some historical events and character interactions are compressed or simplified for dramatic effect, which occasionally strains credibility for viewers familiar with the actual events. low
Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number Line
1MARTIN LUTHER KING: It should be incandescently clear that no one who has any concern for the integrity of life in America today can ignore the present war--
2TOM: When it comes to the war, when it comes to social justice, there’s simply not enough of a difference between Hubert Humphrey and Richard Nixon to make a difference.
4BOBBY: Martin’s dead. Malcolm’s dead. Medgar’s dead. Bobby’s dead. Jesus is dead. They tried it peaceful. We’re gonna try something else.
7TOM: We want to underscore again that we’re coming to Chicago peacefully, but whether we’re given permits or not, we’re coming.
59ABBIE: We carried certain ideas across state lines. Not machine guns or drugs or little girls. When we crossed from New York to New Jersey to Pennsylvania to Ohio to Illinois, we had certain ideas.