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Scene Map 60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 2
1. INT. DAY – UNSANITARY POLICE DETENTION CENTER 1.
2 4
6. EXT. DAY-IN FRONT OF THE COURTHOUSE 6.
3 7
9. INT.DAY-PHARMACY 9.
4 8
14. EXT.DAY- PRISON ENTRANCE 14.
5 10
16. INT.DAY-PRISON SECURITY CHECK 16.
6 11
18. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF ASSAD’S MARKET 18.
7 12
20. INT.AFTERNOON-ZAIN’S DECREPIT BUILDING 20.
8 13
22. EXT.NIGHT- NEIGHBORHOOD TOP VIEW 22.
9 14
25. EXT.DAY-STREET 25.
10 15
28. INT.DAY-PUBLIC RESTROOMS 28.
11 17
32. EXT.EVENING-SIDEWALK 32.
12 18
35. INT.NIGHT-ZAIN’S HOME 35.
13 19
36. EXT.DAWN-AERIAL VIEW NEIGHBORHOOD 36.
14 21
42. EXT.RAINY DAY-STREET 42.
15 22
48. INT.DAY-KITCHEN 48.
16 23
49. INT.DAY-LIVING ROOM 49.
17 25
61. INT.DAY-ZAIN’S HOME 61.
18 26
67. EXT.DAY-BUS STATION 83.
19 29
69. EXT.DAY- IN FRONT OF ZAIN’S BUILDING 69.
20 30
71. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 71.
21 31
72. INT.DAY-BUS 72.
22 32
73. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF AN OLD AMUSEMENT PARK 73.
23 33
80. INT.DAY-RESTAURANT WINDOW 80.
24 35
86. EXT.EVENNING-IN FRONT OF A SNACK 86.
25 38
99. EXT.DAY-STREET 99.
26 41
110. INT.DAY-RESTAURANT KITCHEN 110.
27 43
117. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 117.
28 45
118. EXT.DAY-SUNDAY FLEA MARKET 118.
29 47
122. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 122.
30 49
124. INT.DAY-BUS 124.
31 50
131. EXT.NIGHT-STREETS 131.
32 51
134. EXT.DAY-NEIHBORHOOD 134.
33 52
141. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 141.
34 53
143. INT.LATE AT NIGHT-RAHIL’S HOME 143.
35 54
150. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET TOP VIEW 150.
36 56
154. EXT. DAY- IN FRONT OF FLEA MARKET 154.
37 58
158. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF CYBER CAFÉ 158.
38 59
163. INT.DAWN-PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION,BUS 163.
39 62
176. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF FISH KIOSK 176.
40 63
186. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET 186.
41 65
187. EXT.DAY-OUTSIDE FLEA MARKET 187.
42 67
188. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 188.
43 68
189. EXT.DAY-U.N. CAMP 189.
44 69
194. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 194.
45 71
196. EXT.DAY-GAS STATION 196.
46 73
206. EXT.EVENING-STREET 206.
47 76
214. EXT.NIGHT-STREET 214.
48 77
218. EXT.DAY-NARROW STREET 218.
49 79
221. EXT.DAY-STREETS 221.
50 80
224. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET 224.
51 82
228. EXT.DAY-PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION BUS 228.
52 86
239. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 239.
53 88
240. INT.DAY- DETENTION CENTER HALLWAY 240.
54 89
247. INT.DAY- MALES’ DETENTION CELL 247.
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253. INT.DAY-ROUMIEH PRISON FOR JUVENILES 253.
56 92
259. EXT.DAY-PRISON 259.
57 93
261. EXT.EVENING-PRISON 261.
58 96
274. INT.DAY-TRANSPORTATION VAN FOR PRISONERS 274.
59 98
278. INT.NIGHT-WAREHOUSE 278.
60 98
282. INT.DAY-PRISON HALLWAY 282.
Scene Map
60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 2
1. INT. DAY – UNSANITARY POLICE DETENTION CENTER 1.
1. INT. DAY – UNSANITARY POLICE DETENTION CENTER 1.
1. INT. DAY – UNSANITARY POLICE DETENTION CENTER 1. In a small unsanitary office, used as a police station, stands Zain, a skinny 12-year-old boy, slightly hunchbacked, wearing only his dirty underwear and looking lost. The boy stands there with his mouth wide open while a 40-year-old doctor examines his teeth like one examines a lab rat.
2 4
6. EXT. DAY-IN FRONT OF THE COURTHOUSE 6.
6. EXT. DAY-IN FRONT OF THE COURTHOUSE 6.
6. EXT. DAY-IN FRONT OF THE COURTHOUSE 6. A few journalists from the local press are busy adjusting their cameras and reporting in front of the stairs of the ministry of justice. 7. INT.DAY-HALLWAY IN THE BACK OF THE COURT 7. Each escorted by a guard, Rahil and Zain are waiting in front of the back
3 7
9. INT.DAY-PHARMACY 9.
9. INT.DAY-PHARMACY 9.
9. INT.DAY-PHARMACY 9. Zain goes to the neighborhood pharmacy. ZAIN Hello. PHARMACIST
4 8
14. EXT.DAY- PRISON ENTRANCE 14.
14. EXT.DAY- PRISON ENTRANCE 14.
14. EXT.DAY- PRISON ENTRANCE 14. Zain and Souad, short of breath, are walking, among several other women, carrying heavy bags and heading to the prison entrance. Zain looks exhausted.
5 10
16. INT.DAY-PRISON SECURITY CHECK 16.
16. INT.DAY-PRISON SECURITY CHECK 16.
16. INT.DAY-PRISON SECURITY CHECK 16. The officer empties the bags and carefully checks the clothes. Souad looks worried. Another officer is checking whether Zain is hiding anything illegal. 17. INT.DAY-PRISON PARLOR 17.
6 11
18. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF ASSAD’S MARKET 18.
18. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF ASSAD’S MARKET 18.
18. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF ASSAD’S MARKET 18. In the mid-day heat, Zain is struggling to unload heavy gallons from a little truck. A young man in his twenties, Assad appears behind him. ASSAD
7 12
20. INT.AFTERNOON-ZAIN’S DECREPIT BUILDING 20.
20. INT.AFTERNOON-ZAIN’S DECREPIT BUILDING 20.
20. INT.AFTERNOON-ZAIN’S DECREPIT BUILDING 20. Zain gets inside the building, while a young girl was standing outside. Zain climbs the dark and dirty stairs of an old building with cracked walls. Dirty water is dripping down the steps, and he can hear a child’s loud screams as he walks up the stairway.
8 13
22. EXT.NIGHT- NEIGHBORHOOD TOP VIEW 22.
22. EXT.NIGHT- NEIGHBORHOOD TOP VIEW 22.
22. EXT.NIGHT- NEIGHBORHOOD TOP VIEW 22. Top view showing old, poor, unorganized neighborhood and cracked buildings. 23. INT.NIGHT-ZAIN’S HOME 23. A curtainless window is covered with a bed sheet. An old teddy bear is on
9 14
25. EXT.DAY-STREET 25.
25. EXT.DAY-STREET 25.
25. EXT.DAY-STREET 25. Zain and his sisters are heading to the sidewalk holding pails and buckets. He is also holding a rectangular piece of wood. 26. EXT.DAY-SIDEWALK 26. In a crowded street of this neighborhood, Zain squeezes lemon in the
10 15
28. INT.DAY-PUBLIC RESTROOMS 28.
28. INT.DAY-PUBLIC RESTROOMS 28.
28. INT.DAY-PUBLIC RESTROOMS 28. In the dirty, broken down public restrooms, Zain is scrubbing his sister’s underwear over the sink. Sahar is sitting on the toilet seat. ZAIN Remember what happened to your friend, Alia? Her mother
11 17
32. EXT.EVENING-SIDEWALK 32.
32. EXT.EVENING-SIDEWALK 32.
32. EXT.EVENING-SIDEWALK 32. In a crowded street of this neighborhood, several plastic cups are filled with a vegetable juice colored like beets and lined up in front of Zain who sings funny Arabic rhymes promoting the juices that they are selling. Next to him, his little sister is selling juice to people walking by as well.
12 18
35. INT.NIGHT-ZAIN’S HOME 35.
35. INT.NIGHT-ZAIN’S HOME 35.
35. INT.NIGHT-ZAIN’S HOME 35. Zain’s family is having dinner. They are eating a little meal by candlelight. Sahar is eating bread. Souad brings food to the table. SELIM What do you want to go to school for? Forget it. Keep working
13 19
36. EXT.DAWN-AERIAL VIEW NEIGHBORHOOD 36.
36. EXT.DAWN-AERIAL VIEW NEIGHBORHOOD 36.
36. EXT.DAWN-AERIAL VIEW NEIGHBORHOOD 36. Sun is rising, cracked and old buildings are seen. 37. INT.DAY-RESTROOM 37. In the small broken down bathroom Zain, topless, is holding a small water
14 21
42. EXT.RAINY DAY-STREET 42.
42. EXT.RAINY DAY-STREET 42.
42. EXT.RAINY DAY-STREET 42. Zain is walking with a stroller filled with grocery bags to deliver under heavy rain. He is only wearing a t-shirt and red pants. He is thirsty. He opens his mouth to drink the rain water. He reaches an old building and gets inside.
15 22
48. INT.DAY-KITCHEN 48.
48. INT.DAY-KITCHEN 48.
48. INT.DAY-KITCHEN 48. Angry Zain enters the kitchen to see his mother preparing juice. ZAIN (ANGRILY) What's Assaad doing here? SOUAD (WHISPERING)
16 23
49. INT.DAY-LIVING ROOM 49.
49. INT.DAY-LIVING ROOM 49.
49. INT.DAY-LIVING ROOM 49. Souad is holding the juice cups and comes inside to serve Assad and his father. Zain quickly runs and tries to eavesdrop to hear the discussion. SOUAD Welcome, dear neighbors! Abou Assad, please serve yourself.
17 25
61. INT.DAY-ZAIN’S HOME 61.
61. INT.DAY-ZAIN’S HOME 61.
61. INT.DAY-ZAIN’S HOME 61. Zain sitting on the ground with tears filling his eyes. He is deeply thinking. 62. INT.DAY-SLEEPING SPACE 62. Old dirty slippers and shoes are scattered on the ground next to the
18 26
67. EXT.DAY-BUS STATION 83.
67. EXT.DAY-BUS STATION 83.
67. EXT.DAY-BUS STATION 83. In the noontime heat, carrying his bag, Zain runs to one of the parked busses at a bus station. ZAIN (TO THE DRIVER)
19 29
69. EXT.DAY- IN FRONT OF ZAIN’S BUILDING 69.
69. EXT.DAY- IN FRONT OF ZAIN’S BUILDING 69.
69. EXT.DAY- IN FRONT OF ZAIN’S BUILDING 69. Selim grabs his daughter and gets on his moped. Souad puts Sahar and her belongings behind him while he gets ready to leave. Kids around them are crying. SELIM
20 30
71. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 71.
71. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 71.
71. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 71. SELIM (WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES) To get her out of her misery. She's dead with us, your Honor. She barely has a bed to sleep in. She hardly eats or drinks, barely showers... Never watches TV. I thought, "Marry her off.
21 31
72. INT.DAY-BUS 72.
72. INT.DAY-BUS 72.
72. INT.DAY-BUS 72. Shots of the sky and clouds taken from inside. Lost in his thoughts, Zain sits in the bus with a sad look in his eyes. The bus stops and we can see an old man wearing a fake spider-man costume. The man (Harout), holds a cigarette in his hands and sits by Zain’s side. Zain looks at him. He’s
22 32
73. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF AN OLD AMUSEMENT PARK 73.
73. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF AN OLD AMUSEMENT PARK 73.
73. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF AN OLD AMUSEMENT PARK 73. A woman (Daad) is selling corn on her stand and shouting phrases to promote her corns and attract clients. DAAD Corn on the cob, God's favorite crop!
23 33
80. INT.DAY-RESTAURANT WINDOW 80.
80. INT.DAY-RESTAURANT WINDOW 80.
80. INT.DAY-RESTAURANT WINDOW 80. Rahil watches Zain from the window she is cleaning, and starts laughing. She has a hairnet and cleaning gloves on. 81. INT.DAY-RESTAURANT 81.
24 35
86. EXT.EVENNING-IN FRONT OF A SNACK 86.
86. EXT.EVENNING-IN FRONT OF A SNACK 86.
86. EXT.EVENNING-IN FRONT OF A SNACK 86. Several customers are standing and waiting for their orders. ZAIN Sir, do you have a juice or something for 250? Something for
25 38
99. EXT.DAY-STREET 99.
99. EXT.DAY-STREET 99.
99. EXT.DAY-STREET 99. A shot of an old man is sipping coffee on a table in a small, unorganized store. 100. EXT.DAY-POOR NEIGHBORHOOD 100. A shot of two veiled women carrying heavy objects on their back and
26 41
110. INT.DAY-RESTAURANT KITCHEN 110.
110. INT.DAY-RESTAURANT KITCHEN 110.
110. INT.DAY-RESTAURANT KITCHEN 110. At the end of her shift, Rahil finishes washing the last dish. She looks around to see if someone was looking at her. She takes a box of a cake, and hides it in an empty garbage bag. 111. IN FRONT OF AMUSEMENT PARK 111.
27 43
117. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 117.
117. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 117.
117. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 117. RAHIL Rahil Eresa. THE JUDGE Your family name?
28 45
118. EXT.DAY-SUNDAY FLEA MARKET 118.
118. EXT.DAY-SUNDAY FLEA MARKET 118.
118. EXT.DAY-SUNDAY FLEA MARKET 118. Rahil is walking through the narrow alleys of the souks where several kiosks are selling a little bit of everything… counterfeit merchandise, electronics, watches, and cheap kinky underwear. The people attending this market are the lower class foreign workers including poorly dressed
29 47
122. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 122.
122. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 122.
122. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 122. Yonas is sobbing. Zain is looking outside the window. He sees the neighbor’s TV through their open window and an animated series is playing. He adjusts the window so Yonas can watch the show through the reflection on the glass. Yonas starts watching and calms down a bit. Zain
30 49
124. INT.DAY-BUS 124.
124. INT.DAY-BUS 124.
124. INT.DAY-BUS 124. RAHIL (SPEAKS ETHIOPIAN ON PHONE) Enough, just get me my salary! You said you knew the guy. You found me that job. 125. EXT.DAY-STREET 125.
31 50
131. EXT.NIGHT-STREETS 131.
131. EXT.NIGHT-STREETS 131.
131. EXT.NIGHT-STREETS 131. Rahil is walking down narrow and poor streets. 132. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF THE MAIN ENTRANCE TO AN UPPER MIDDLE CLASS BLDG. 132. Rahil is waiting for somebody next to the garbage bin. A young concierge,
32 51
134. EXT.DAY-NEIHBORHOOD 134.
134. EXT.DAY-NEIHBORHOOD 134.
134. EXT.DAY-NEIHBORHOOD 134. Rahil walks through a narrow neighborhood, where laundry is hanging outside, and a stray dog is looking at her. 135. INT. DAY- HAIR SALON 135. Seen from behind, Rahil is sitting on a chair. We see the hairdresser
33 52
141. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 141.
141. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 141.
141. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 141. While listening to Ethiopian music in her bathroom, Rahil gets ready to go. She brushes her hair and makes braids. In the other room, Zain makes funny faces while eating and sitting at the table to entertain Yonas, who is sitting in the inflatable pool. All dressed up, Rahil puts a scarf on, draws
34 53
143. INT.LATE AT NIGHT-RAHIL’S HOME 143.
143. INT.LATE AT NIGHT-RAHIL’S HOME 143.
143. INT.LATE AT NIGHT-RAHIL’S HOME 143. Zain wakes up, takes a look around him, and is surprised to see that very late and Rahil hasn’t come home yet. Yonas is sleeping next to him. ZAIN (LOOKING AROUND) Rahil? Rahil? Rahil?
35 54
150. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET TOP VIEW 150.
150. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET TOP VIEW 150.
150. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET TOP VIEW 150. A top shot showing the flea market and the highway from above. 151. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET 151. Zain enters the flea market, still holding Yonas in his arms. He walks through various kiosks selling cheap clothing, grocery, etc.
36 56
154. EXT. DAY- IN FRONT OF FLEA MARKET 154.
154. EXT. DAY- IN FRONT OF FLEA MARKET 154.
154. EXT. DAY- IN FRONT OF FLEA MARKET 154. Holding Yonas and the falafel sandwiches, Zain leaves the flea market and sits on the sidewalk in front of it. He puts Yonas down next to him. While eating their sandwiches, Zain calls a girl and hands her his Pepsi
37 58
158. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF CYBER CAFÉ 158.
158. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF CYBER CAFÉ 158.
158. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF CYBER CAFÉ 158. Rahil, crying, stands in front of the cyber café. She is arrested by police officers along with other migrant workers. The officer handcuffs them. 159. INT.DAY-POLICE TRANSPORTATION BUS 159.
38 59
163. INT.DAWN-PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION,BUS 163.
163. INT.DAWN-PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION,BUS 163.
163. INT.DAWN-PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION,BUS 163. Yonas is sitting on Zain’s lap and loudly crying. Zain looks very tired. 164. EXT.DAWN-RAHIL’S NEIGHBORHOOD 164. Zain is carrying Yonas in his arms, while the child is still sobbing. They
39 62
176. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF FISH KIOSK 176.
176. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF FISH KIOSK 176.
176. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF FISH KIOSK 176. Zain, carries Yonas and stands in front of a fish vendor’s kiosk. He keeps staring at the fish. 177. EXT.DAY-IN FRONT OF RAHIL’S HOME 177. On an old metal box, Zain is grilling the fish. Yonas is happily sitting next
40 63
186. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET 186.
186. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET 186.
186. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET 186. Zain enters Souk Al Ahad, still dragging the skateboard. He hears the voice of Maysoun from behind, calling him, so he turns around. Maysoun is trying to sell a funeral wreath at Souk Al Ahad.
41 65
187. EXT.DAY-OUTSIDE FLEA MARKET 187.
187. EXT.DAY-OUTSIDE FLEA MARKET 187.
187. EXT.DAY-OUTSIDE FLEA MARKET 187. Zain and Maysoun are sitting outside Souk Al Ahad, in a corner, with Yonas still sitting in the basin. MAYSOUN You can keep this country all to yourself, I'm leaving.
42 67
188. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 188.
188. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 188.
188. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 188. Yonas is heard crying in the background, while Zain is standing in front of the mirror, practicing the Syrian accent so he can get the food dispensary that Maysoun was talking about. He holds a conversation with himself as if they are talking to him, to train himself.
43 68
189. EXT.DAY-U.N. CAMP 189.
189. EXT.DAY-U.N. CAMP 189.
189. EXT.DAY-U.N. CAMP 189. Zain is carrying Yonas with difficulty, in a crowded place where UN is giving out food dispensary for Syrian refugees. We still hear Zain’s voice. ZAIN My mom drank a lot of coffee when she was pregnant. She used
44 69
194. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 194.
194. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 194.
194. INT.DAY-RAHIL’S HOME 194. Zain is unscrewing the top of the hot water tank with a wrench. 195. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET 195. Zain is trying to drag the hot water tank placed behind the basin of the
45 71
196. EXT.DAY-GAS STATION 196.
196. EXT.DAY-GAS STATION 196.
196. EXT.DAY-GAS STATION 196. Zain drags Yonas behind him and speaks to two workers at the gas station. 197. EXT.DAY-GAS STATION 197. At the back of a gas station, Zain and Yonas use a hose from the carwash
46 73
206. EXT.EVENING-STREET 206.
206. EXT.EVENING-STREET 206.
206. EXT.EVENING-STREET 206. Zain is holding the basin with Yonas inside it, surrounded by a water bottle and coffee cups. He meets teenagers hanging out in front of a garage.
47 76
214. EXT.NIGHT-STREET 214.
214. EXT.NIGHT-STREET 214.
214. EXT.NIGHT-STREET 214. In the basin, Yonas puts the cup on his mouth. Teenagers give Zain looks. He stares back and keeps walking. One of the teenagers in a group takes the tramal bottle from him and hides it, so another guy hits him and gives it back to Zain.
48 77
218. EXT.DAY-NARROW STREET 218.
218. EXT.DAY-NARROW STREET 218.
218. EXT.DAY-NARROW STREET 218. Zain is walking through the narrow poor streets and dragging Yonas behind him. 219. EXT.DAY-TOP VIEW NEIGHBORHOOD 219. Top shot of the poor neighborhood. We see plenty of tires on the roofs of
49 79
221. EXT.DAY-STREETS 221.
221. EXT.DAY-STREETS 221.
221. EXT.DAY-STREETS 221. Shots of the busy streets packed with honking cars. 222. EXT.DAY-STREET 222. Under the hot sun, Zain and Yonas are sitting in the street next to a stand that sells second-hand, old shoes. Their clothes, hands, and faces are
50 80
224. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET 224.
224. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET 224.
224. EXT.DAY-FLEA MARKET 224. Zain is heading towards Aspro’s kiosk, and dragging Yonas behind him. Zain looks defeated, depressed and exhausted. His eyes are filled with tears. 225. EXT.DAY-SUNDAY FLEA MARKET 225.
51 82
228. EXT.DAY-PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION BUS 228.
228. EXT.DAY-PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION BUS 228.
228. EXT.DAY-PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION BUS 228. Zain gets off the bus. He throws away the basin in the garbage as if he is getting rid of a chapter in his life, and keeps his plastic bag. 229. EXT.DAY-STREET 229. Zain walks down the street and heads home.
52 86
239. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 239.
239. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 239.
239. INT.DAY-COURTROOM 239. Abou Assad is pushing his son Assad’s wheelchair in front of the judge. THE JUDGE You are the husband of...? What was her name again? ASSAD
53 88
240. INT.DAY- DETENTION CENTER HALLWAY 240.
240. INT.DAY- DETENTION CENTER HALLWAY 240.
240. INT.DAY- DETENTION CENTER HALLWAY 240. A shot of the prison hallway is showing a man walking around. 241. INT.DAY- DETENTION CENTER ROOM 241. Two prison workers are pouring food from a large basin. 242. INT.DAY-POLICE OFFICE IN DETENTION CENTER 242.
54 89
247. INT.DAY- MALES’ DETENTION CELL 247.
247. INT.DAY- MALES’ DETENTION CELL 247.
247. INT.DAY- MALES’ DETENTION CELL 247. A shot of Zain asleep on a mattress in the cell. 248. INT.DAY- FEMALES’ DETENTION CELL 248. A shot of the foreign females’ prison cell. The cell is overcrowded. They
55 91
253. INT.DAY-ROUMIEH PRISON FOR JUVENILES 253.
253. INT.DAY-ROUMIEH PRISON FOR JUVENILES 253.
253. INT.DAY-ROUMIEH PRISON FOR JUVENILES 253. Behind the bars, Zain is looking outside with a miserable look on his face. 254. EXT.DAY-ROUMIEH PRISON FOR JUVENILES 254. We see a shot of the prison building. The roof is equipped with razor wire.
56 92
259. EXT.DAY-PRISON 259.
259. EXT.DAY-PRISON 259.
259. EXT.DAY-PRISON 259. Escorted by a guard, Zain heading to the prison’s visitor area. 260. INT.DAY-PRISON CAFETERIA 260. In a colorful dress, Souad is smoking a cigarette. Zain sees her from the cafeteria entrance and stares at her. She gets up and kisses him. They sit
57 93
261. EXT.EVENING-PRISON 261.
261. EXT.EVENING-PRISON 261.
261. EXT.EVENING-PRISON 261. A sunset shot taken from the prison. 262. INT.EVENING-PRISON CELL 262. A few young prisoners are watching the same show they were watching last time.
58 96
274. INT.DAY-TRANSPORTATION VAN FOR PRISONERS 274.
274. INT.DAY-TRANSPORTATION VAN FOR PRISONERS 274.
274. INT.DAY-TRANSPORTATION VAN FOR PRISONERS 274. We still hear his speech. But we see him leaving a transportation van for prisoners. He is handcuffed and escorted by an officer. ZAIN Life is a bitch! I was expecting to be a good man, respected and
59 98
278. INT.NIGHT-WAREHOUSE 278.
278. INT.NIGHT-WAREHOUSE 278.
278. INT.NIGHT-WAREHOUSE 278. A group of police officers raid a dark warehouse. OFFICER (SPEAKING ON THE PHONE WITH TV PRESENTER) We raided a warehouse where people were trapped...
60 98
282. INT.DAY-PRISON HALLWAY 282.
282. INT.DAY-PRISON HALLWAY 282.
282. INT.DAY-PRISON HALLWAY 282. Walking down the empty hallway, Zain is escorted by a guard and handcuffed behind his back. 283. INT.DAY-IN FRONT OF A GRAY WALL 283.

Capernaum

A boy who has endured nothing but suffering since birth ironically drags his destitute parents into court to accuse them of the ultimate betrayal: the decision to have him at all.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Proposition

A raw, vérité-style immersion into the invisible underbelly of a modern city, told entirely from a child's perspective without sentimentality or moralizing, where survival tactics replace childhood innocence.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Grok
 Recommend
Gemini
 Recommend
Claude
 Recommend
DeepSeek
 Recommend
Average Score: 8.0
Note: As Neil Gaiman says, ”People are usually right about what's wrong, and usually wrong about how to fix it.” Consider the suggestions in this analysis as potential catalysts: adopt what strengthens your vision, and let the rest deepen your understanding of what the story wants to become.
Model Upgrade — March 31, 2026
Our AI readers were upgraded — the verdicts and written analysis on this page are from our newer, significantly stronger models.
For comparison with earlier revisions of your script, here's how it scores under our previous models:
HR Grok 9.5
HR Gemini 9.8
HR Claude 9.3
R GPT5 8.8
HR DeepSeek 9.5
The scoring scale changed with the upgrade. Use these legacy numbers only to compare against your script's earlier revisions — not against the new scores at the top of this page.
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To strengthen the script's emotional and narrative impact, focus on refining the middle act's repetitive survival sequences by introducing clearer objectives and escalating stakes to prevent pacing fatigue, while enhancing the courtroom framing to better integrate it with the flashbacks, ensuring each cut builds suspense and clarifies legal stakes. This will amplify the script's raw realism and thematic depth without losing its authentic, observational tone.
For Executives:
The script has strong value as a gritty, socially relevant drama with festival potential and emotional resonance, appealing to audiences interested in real-world issues, but it carries risks of audience disengagement from prolonged repetitive scenes and uneven pacing, which could limit commercial viability and require significant revisions to sharpen focus and marketability in a competitive industry.
Story Facts
Genres:
Drama 80% Crime 30%

Setting: Contemporary, Urban Lebanon, primarily in impoverished neighborhoods, detention centers, and a courthouse

Themes: The Struggle for Survival and Dignity, Systemic Neglect and Exploitation of Children and the Vulnerable, The Harsh Realities of Migration and Displacement, The Search for Belonging and Family, Resilience and Agency in the Face of Adversity, Justice and Injustice (Legal and Social), Trauma and its Lasting Impact, Loss and Grief

Conflict & Stakes: Zain's struggle for survival and dignity in a harsh environment, compounded by family dysfunction, poverty, and the threat of deportation.

Mood: Somber and poignant, with moments of despair and fleeting hope.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The story's focus on a child's perspective of poverty and immigration, highlighting the struggles of undocumented migrants.
  • Major Twist: The revelation of Zain's lawsuit against his parents for being born, which encapsulates his deep emotional pain and societal critique.
  • Distinctive Setting: The portrayal of urban Lebanon's impoverished neighborhoods and detention centers, providing a raw and authentic backdrop.
  • Innovative Ideas: The blending of a coming-of-age story with social commentary on immigration and family dynamics.
  • Unique Characters: Complex characters that embody the struggles of marginalized communities, each with their own backstories and motivations.

Comparable Scripts: The Kite Runner, Slumdog Millionaire, Precious, City of God, The Breadwinner, A Long Way Home, I Am Sam, The Pursuit of Happyness, Room

How 5 AI Readers Scored You

Claude GPT5 Gemini DeepSeek Grok Average Row tint: weak mid strong excellent
Premise i
8.6
Plot i
7.6
Structure i
7.6
Character i
8.6
Dialogue i
7.8
Tone / Voice i
8.8
Theme i
8.8
Marketability i
7.0
Hover any dot or mean pin for that cell's reasoning. Click to lock it.
🎯 Your Top Priorities

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

You have more than one meaningful lever.

Improving Structure (Script Level) and Emotional Impact (Script Level) will have the biggest impact on your overall score next draft.

1. Structure (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Structure (Script Level) score: 7.9
Expected gain: ~2% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Moves easily Writers at your level typically gain +0.35 per rewrite — a realistic improvement.
Confidence: High (based on ~905 similar revisions)
  • This is your top opportunity right now. Focusing your rewrite energy here gives you the best realistic shot at raising the overall rating.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Structure (Script Level) by about +0.35 in one rewrite.
2. Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Emotional Impact (Script Level) score: 8.0
Expected gain: ~2% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.28 in Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~1,239 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Emotional Impact (Script Level) by about +0.28 in one rewrite.
3. Conflict (Script Level)
Moderate Impact Script Level
Your current Conflict (Script Level) score: 7.8
Expected gain: ~1% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Moves easily Writers at your level typically gain +0.47 per rewrite — a realistic improvement.
Confidence: High (based on ~622 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Conflict (Script Level) by about +0.47 in one rewrite.
🎓
Skills Worth Developing

These have high model impact but rarely improve through rewrites alone — they're craft investments. Studying these areas through courses, mentorship, or focused reading could unlock gains that a normal rewrite won't.

Pacing Scene Level 1.4× leverage

Strong model leverage, but writers at your level typically only gain +0.15 per rewrite. (Your score: 8.1)

View Pacing analysis
Scene Structure Scene Level

Strong model leverage, but writers at your level typically only gain +0.15 per rewrite. (Your score: 8.0)

View Scene Structure analysis

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.94
Key Suggestions:
To elevate the script's emotional depth and narrative strength, focus on deepening the backstories and motivations of secondary characters like Souad and Selim, as their underdeveloped arcs currently limit audience empathy and thematic resonance. Additionally, refine pacing by condensing exposition-heavy scenes and ensuring smoother transitions between emotional beats, drawing from successful dramas like 'The Pursuit of Happyness' to create a more engaging and cohesive story that amplifies Zain's compelling journey.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script excels in portraying raw emotional depth and social issues, but to elevate it, focus on refining pacing to avoid drag and rush, and clarify Zain's central goal for a stronger narrative arc. Incorporating subtler exposition and moments of hope can balance the intensity, making the story more engaging and impactful from a craft perspective.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis reveals strong foundations for protagonists like Zain and Rahil, with high emotional resonance, but suggests opportunities to deepen arcs for supporting characters such as Souad and Sahar to enhance overall narrative complexity. Focus on incorporating more backstory, vulnerability, and transformative moments to create a more layered script, ensuring that all characters actively contribute to themes of survival, neglect, and resilience, ultimately making the story more engaging and emotionally impactful for audiences.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
To elevate the script's emotional depth and engagement, focus on introducing greater variety in emotions and intensity to avoid monotony, deepen empathy for secondary characters through added layers and backstories, and refine pacing in key scenes for better buildup and impact. This will create a more dynamic narrative that resonates more powerfully with audiences, transforming the story's raw realism into a compelling emotional journey.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
From a creative perspective, the script's strength lies in Zain's evolving goals and conflicts, but to enhance craft, focus on tightening the integration of internal and external goals in the mid-script sections. This would make Zain's transition from survival to advocacy more seamless and emotionally resonant, ensuring that philosophical conflicts like survival vs. dignity are woven into key interactions for deeper character depth and narrative flow.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The script's thematic depth, centered on survival and systemic neglect, is a strong foundation, but to elevate its craft, focus on refining character arcs—such as Zain's emotional journey—to create more nuanced moments of hope and agency amidst the despair. This will prevent the narrative from feeling overly bleak and enhance audience empathy, making the story more impactful and less didactic, while ensuring that the interconnected themes build to a cohesive emotional climax.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The script's core strength lies in its raw portrayal of poverty and resilience, but inconsistencies in character arcs and plot logic dilute emotional authenticity. To enhance craft, focus on bridging abrupt character shifts, like Zain's caregiving reversal, with clearer internal motivations or key scenes, ensuring actions feel organic and driven by personal growth rather than plot convenience. This will deepen audience connection and amplify the story's social critique.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
The script's raw and empathetic voice is a powerful asset, effectively capturing the harsh realities of poverty and injustice. To improve it from a craft perspective, consider introducing subtle moments of hope or character agency to provide emotional relief and enhance audience engagement, ensuring the unflinching realism doesn't overwhelm the narrative arc while maintaining authenticity.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
To strengthen the script's emotional depth and narrative impact, focus on refining dialogue to incorporate more subtext and nuance, deepening character arcs to better reveal internal motivations and conflicts, and improving pacing to build and sustain tension. By addressing these core craft elements, the writer can create a more immersive and resonant story that effectively conveys the themes of poverty, family dysfunction, and resilience.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script's world building masterfully captures a gritty, oppressive urban environment that enhances realism and thematic depth, but to improve creatively, focus on integrating more nuanced symbolic elements—such as using the decaying physical settings to subtly mirror characters' internal conflicts—to avoid overwhelming the audience with constant despair. This would strengthen emotional resonance, balance the narrative's tone, and provide opportunities for character growth, making the story more engaging and less predictable in its portrayal of poverty and resilience.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The script excels in emotional depth and character-driven storytelling, but to enhance its craft, focus on integrating more plot advancement into reflective scenes to improve pacing and prevent stagnation. Additionally, diversify the tonal range by incorporating more varied emotions, such as humor or hope, to balance the predominant grimness and make character revelations more dynamic through stronger dialogue in introspective moments. This will create a more engaging narrative without sacrificing the story's powerful emotional core.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.