American Beauty
Executive Summary
Poster
![](/posters/poster4c58b0b64758bdcab2da603eabf450b564d80cce1acef1946fde9b70166441d2.png)
Overview
Genres: Drama, Comedy, Romance, Family, Dark Comedy, Thriller, Coming of Age
Setting: Late 1990s, Suburban neighborhood in the United States
Overview: American Beauty follows Lester Burnham, a disillusioned middle-aged man who feels trapped in his mundane suburban life. As he grapples with his impending mortality, he embarks on a journey of self-discovery, fueled by his infatuation with his daughter's friend, Angela. The narrative unfolds through the lens of Lester's strained relationships with his wife Carolyn and daughter Jane, highlighting the dysfunction within the Burnham family. As Lester seeks to reclaim his lost youth and desires, tensions escalate, leading to confrontations that reveal the complexities of identity, desire, and the pursuit of happiness. The story culminates in a shocking climax that forces the characters to confront the consequences of their actions and the fragility of their lives.
Themes: Midlife Crisis, Family Dynamics, Identity and Self-Discovery, Sexuality and Desire, Conformity and Rebellion
Conflict and Stakes: The primary conflicts revolve around Lester's midlife crisis and desire for freedom, Jane's struggle with her identity and family relationships, and Carolyn's ambition clashing with her family's disintegration. The stakes include the emotional well-being of the family and the consequences of Lester's actions.
Overall Mood: Darkly comedic and introspective
Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:
- Scene 1: The mood is darkly comedic as Lester reflects on his life, setting the tone for his existential crisis.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The juxtaposition of suburban life with dark, existential themes, exploring the hidden desires and discontent of seemingly ordinary characters.
- Plot Twist: The shocking and violent climax that abruptly alters the narrative and character trajectories, leaving a lasting impact.
- Innovative Ideas: The use of voiceover narration to provide insight into Lester's thoughts and reflections, enhancing the emotional depth.
- Distinctive Settings: The contrast between the idyllic suburban neighborhood and the characters' internal struggles, creating a visually striking backdrop.
Comparable Scripts:
- American Beauty
- The Virgin Suicides
- Little Children
- Revolutionary Road
- Donnie Darko
- The Graduate
- Six Feet Under
- The Perks of Being a Wallflower
- Fargo
Writing Style:
The screenplay demonstrates a diverse and compelling writing style that blends elements of dark humor, social commentary, character-driven narratives, and emotional depth. It seamlessly transitions between intimate character interactions and more dramatic confrontations, often exploring the complexities of suburban life, family dynamics, and societal expectations. The writing is sharp and witty, with a focus on nuanced dialogue and unexpected plot twists.
Style Similarities:
- Alan Ball
- Diablo Cody
- Quentin Tarantino
- David Mamet
- Alexander Payne
Pass/Consider/Recommend
Recommend
Explanation: The screenplay for "American Beauty" is a compelling exploration of the human experience, delving into themes of identity, family, and the pursuit of happiness. With its rich character development, intricate plotlines, and poignant moments, the screenplay stands out as a well-crafted and thought-provoking narrative that would be of great interest to a wide audience. The script's unique blend of drama, comedy, and suspense makes it a strong contender for adaptation, with the potential to captivate viewers and leave a lasting impact.
USP: What sets 'American Beauty' apart is its unflinching examination of the American Dream and the dark undercurrents of suburban life. The screenplay's ability to blend dark humor with poignant emotional moments creates a compelling narrative that resonates with audiences, making them reflect on their own lives and societal norms. Its unique perspective on beauty, desire, and the quest for authenticity in a conformist world makes it a timeless piece of storytelling.
Market Analysis
Budget Estimate:$20-30 million
Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 18-54, particularly those interested in drama, dark comedy, and films exploring complex family dynamics.
Marketability: The screenplay's exploration of universal themes like midlife crisis and family dysfunction, combined with dark humor, makes it appealing to a broad audience.
The unique blend of dark comedy and drama, along with strong character arcs, can attract both indie film enthusiasts and mainstream audiences.
The film's provocative themes and character dynamics may resonate with viewers looking for deeper narratives, though it may face challenges with more conservative audiences.
Profit Potential: Moderate to high, as the film's themes and character-driven story could lead to strong word-of-mouth and potential awards recognition, increasing its box office appeal.
Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice
Summary:The writer's voice is a blend of dark humor, introspective narration, and sharp dialogue, creating a cynical and insightful lens through which to examine suburban life and its discontents. The screenplay is characterized by a blend of realistic and surreal elements, creating a sense of unease and mystery, and exploring themes of conformity, individuality, and the search for meaning in an often-superficial world.
Best representation: Scene 2 - Confrontation in the Cubicle. This scene perfectly encapsulates the writer's unique voice through its blend of dark humor, introspective narration, and sharp dialogue. The juxtaposition of Jane's internal struggles with her mother's impatience and her father's fumbling creates a sense of irony and dysfunction, while the scene's ending, with Lester's spilled papers and Carolyn's frustrated outburst, underscores the pervasive tension within the Burnham family.
Memorable Lines:
- Lester: I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. (Scene 41)
- Lester: Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... (Scene 42)
- Carolyn: You cannot count on anyone except yourself. It's sad, but true, and the sooner you learn it, the better. (Scene 27)
- Lester: This isn't life. This is just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that's just nuts. (Scene 28)
- Ricky: Never underestimate the power of denial. (Scene 20)
Characters
Lester Burnham:A disillusioned middle-aged man experiencing a midlife crisis, seeking freedom and fulfillment.
Carolyn Burnham:Lester's ambitious and controlling wife, focused on her career in real estate.
Jane Burnham:Lester and Carolyn's teenage daughter, struggling with her self-image and family dynamics.
Ricky Fitts:The Burnhams' neighbor, a troubled teenager with a fascination for filming life and a complicated relationship with his father.
Colonel Fitts:Ricky's strict and homophobic father, struggling with his own issues and prejudices.
Angela:Jane's friend, who becomes the object of Lester's infatuation, representing youthful beauty and desire.
Story Shape
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall Grade | Concept | Plot | Originality Score | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
1 - Reflections of Discontent | Satirical, Dark, Humorous | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
2 - Fractured Reflections | Satirical, Cynical, Humorous | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
3 - Confrontation in the Cubicle | Satirical, Cynical, Sarcastic | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
4 - Fractured Connections | Sarcastic, Critical, Humorous | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
5 - Fractured Connections | Tense, Reflective, Humorous | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
6 - Determined Sales Pitch | Intense, Determined, Skeptical | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
7 - Emotional Turmoil in the Sale House | Frustration, Desperation, Humor | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
8 - Dancing Shadows | Tense, Emotional, Satirical | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
9 - Awkward Encounters | Awkward, Emotional, Humorous | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
10 - Awakening Desire | Reflective, Surreal, Awkward, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
11 - Invasive Curiosity | Tense, Awkward, Humorous | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
12 - Tension in the Neighborhood | Dark, Satirical, Sarcastic | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
13 - Facade of Happiness | Tense, Awkward, Sarcastic, Emotional | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
14 - Hidden Desires | Sarcastic, Awkward, Intense | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
15 - Awkward Encounters | Awkward, Intriguing, Uncomfortable | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
16 - Eavesdropping and Embers | Dark, Intense, Unnerving, Awkward | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
17 - Caught in the Act | Tense, Awkward, Intense, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
18 - Fantasy and Frustration | Intense, Emotional, Provocative | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
19 - Jogging Tensions | Humorous, Awkward, Confrontational | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 5 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
20 - A Stash of Secrets | Dark, Humorous, Intense | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
21 - Confrontation in the Garage | Sarcastic, Confrontational, Defiant | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
22 - Negotiation at the Edge | Sarcastic, Confrontational, Defiant | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
23 - Moments of Change and Connection | Satirical, Sarcastic, Awkward | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
24 - Job Doubts and Intimate Revelations | Seductive, Awkward, Intense, Humorous | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
25 - Uneasy Reflections | Introspective, Melancholic, Contemplative | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
26 - From Beauty to Chaos | Tense, Confrontational, Defiant, Emotional | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
27 - Tensions Unveiled | Tense, Emotional, Confrontational | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
28 - Fractured Connections | Tense, Emotional, Confrontational, Reflective | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
29 - Shared Shadows | Intimate, Reflective, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 3 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
30 - Tensions at the Breakfast Table | Tense, Confrontational, Regretful | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
31 - A Disturbing Discovery | Tense, Awkward, Dark, Humorous | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
32 - Drive-Thru Confrontation | Tense, Sarcastic, Defiant, Awkward | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
33 - Emotional Turmoil at the Top Hat Motel | Tense, Emotional, Sarcastic, Intense | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
34 - Misunderstandings and Awkward Flirtations | Tense, Awkward, Flirtatious, Intense | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
35 - Defiance in the Rain | Intense, Emotional, Confrontational | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
36 - Tensions and Departures | Intense, Emotional, Confrontational, Defiant | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
37 - Rain-soaked Vulnerability | Intense, Emotional, Vulnerable, Conflicted | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
38 - Crossing Boundaries | Intimate, Emotional, Tense | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
39 - Confrontation of Desires | Intense, Emotional, Vulnerable, Tender | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 5 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
40 - A Moment of Fragile Contentment | Tense, Emotional, Intense, Reflective | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
41 - A Haunting Discovery | Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Reflective | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
42 - Fleeting Moments of Reflection | Tense, Intense, Emotional, Reflective | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
Scene 1 - Reflections of Discontent
On VIDEO: JANE BURNHAM lays in bed, wearing a tank top.
She's sixteen, with dark, intense eyes.
JANE
I need a father who's a role model,
not some horny geekboy who's gonna
spray his shorts whenever I bring a
girlfriend home from school.
(snorts)
What a lameo. Somebody really
should put him out of his misery.
Her mind wanders for a beat.
RICKY (O.C.)
Want me to kill him for you?
Jane looks at us and sits up.
JANE
(deadpan)
Yeah, would you?
FADE TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL EARLY MORNING
We're FLYING above suburban America, DESCENDING SLOWLY
toward a treelined street.
LESTER (V.O.)
My name is Lester Burnham. This is
my neighborhood. This is my street.
This... is my life. I'm fortytwo
years old. In less than a year, I'll
be dead.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE MASTER BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
We're looking down at a kingsized BED from OVERHEAD:
LESTER BURNHAM lies sleeping amidst expensive bed linens,
face down, wearing PAJAMAS. An irritating ALARM CLOCK RINGS.
Lester gropes blindly to shut it off.
LESTER (V.O.)
Of course, I don't know that yet. He
rolls over, looks up at us and
sighs. He doesn't seem too thrilled
at the prospect of a new day.
LESTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
And in a way, I'm dead already.
He sits up and puts on his slippers.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE MASTER BATH MOMENTS LATER
Lester thrusts his face directly into a steaming hot shower.
ANGLE from outside the shower: Lester's naked body is
silhouetted through the foggedup glass door. It becomes
apparent he is masturbating.
LESTER (V.O.)
(amused)
Look at me, jerking off in the
shower.
(then)
This will be the high point of my
day. It's all downhill from here.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE MOMENTS LATER
CLOSE on a single, dewy AMERICAN BEAUTY ROSE. A gloved hand
with CLIPPERS appears and SNIPS the flower off.
CAROLYN BURNHAM tends her rose bushes in front of the
Burnham house. A very wellput together woman of forty, she
wears colorcoordinated gardening togs and has lots of
useful and expensive tools.
Lester watches her through a WINDOW on the first floor,
peeping out through the drapes.
LESTER (V.O.)
That's my wife Carolyn. See the way
the handle on those pruning shears
matches her gardening clogs? That's
not an accident.
EXT. JIMS' HOUSE CONTINUOUS
In the fenced front yard of the house next door, a dog BARKS
repeatedly. A MAN in a conservative suit (JIM #1) chastises
the barking dog.
JIM #1
Hush, Bitsy. You hush. What is
wrong?
LESTER (V.O.)
That's our nextdoor neighbor Jim.
A second MAN in a conservative suit (JIM #2) comes out of
the house.
LESTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
And that's his lover, Jim.
JIM #2
(re: barking dog)
What in the world is wrong with her?
She had a walk this morning.
JIM #1
And a jerky treat.
JIM #2
You spoil her.
(sternly)
Bitsy. No bark. Come inside. Now.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE CONTINUOUS
Lester watches all this from the window.
CAROLYN
Good morning, Jim!
Jim #1 walks toward the fence to greet Carolyn.
JIM #1
Morning, Carolyn.
CAROLYN
(overly friendly)
I just love your tie! That color!
JIM #1
I just love your roses. How do you
get them to flourish like this?
CAROLYN
Well, I'll tell you. Egg shells and
Miracle Grow.
Jim #1 and Carolyn continue to chat, unaware that Lester is
watching them.
LESTER (V.O.)
Man. I get exhausted just watching
her.
Lester's POV: We can't hear what Jim and Carolyn are saying,
but she's overly animated, like a TV talk show host.
LESTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
She wasn't always like this. She
used to be happy. We used to be
happy.
Ratings
Scene 2 - Fractured Reflections
JANE is seated at her desk, working at her computer.
LESTER (V.O.)
My daughter Jane. Only child.
CLOSE on the COMPUTER MONITOR: A PERSONAL BANKING SOFTWARE
window suddenly disappears to reveal another window: a
PLASTIC SURGERY WEBSITE, featuring clinical "before" and
"after" photos of surgically augmented breasts.
LESTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Janie's a pretty typical teenager.
Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I
could tell her that's all going to
pass...
Outside, a CAR HORN BLARES. Jane stuffs items into her
BACKPACK.
LESTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
But I don't want to lie to her.
We HEAR the CAR HORN again from outside. Jane studies
herself in a mirror, then shifts to get a good profile of
her breasts.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE CONTINUOUS
Carolyn stands next to a platinumcolored MERCEDESBENZ
ML320, reaching in through the drivers' window to blow the
HORN again.
Jane shuffles out of the house, her backpack slung over her
shoulder.
CAROLYN
Jane. Honey. Are you trying to look
unattractive?
JANE
Yes.
CAROLYN
Well, congratulations. You've
succeeded admirably.
Jane gets in the car. Lester hurries out the front door,
carrying a BRIEFCASE.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
Lester, could you make me a little
later, please? Because I'm not quite
late enough.
Lester's briefcase suddenly springs open and his papers
spill all over the driveway. He drops to his knees to gather
everything.
JANE
Nice going, Dad.
Lester smiles sheepishly, trying to lighten the moment.
His POV: Carolyn looks down at us, contemptuous but also
bored, as if she gave up expecting anything more long ago.
LESTER (V.O.)
Both my wife and daughter think I'm
this gigantic loser, and... they're
right.
Ratings
Scene 3 - Confrontation in the Cubicle
Carolyn is driving; Jane stares out the window. Lester is
asleep in the back seat.
LESTER (V.O.)
I have lost something. I'm not
exactly sure what it is, but I know
I didn't always feel this...
sedated. But you know what? It's
never too late to get it back.
INT. OFFICE BUILDING DAY
Lester sits at his workstation, a BEIGE CUBICLE surrounded
by IDENTICAL BEIGE CUBICLES. He's staring at a computer
monitor and talking on a HEADSET PHONE. The beleaguered
expression on his face is at odds with the light, friendly
tone of his voice.
LESTER
Hello, this is Lester Burnham from
Media Monthly magazine, I'm calling
for Mr. Tamblin, please?... Well,
we're all under a deadline here, uh,
but you see, there is some basic
information about the product launch
that isn't even covered in your
press release and I... Yeah. Can I
ask you a question? Who is Tamblin?
Does he exist? 'Cause he doesn't
ever seem to come in... Yeah, okay,
I'll leave my number...
BRAD, a dapper man in his thirties, approaches and observes
Lester, who is unaware of his presence.
LESTER (CONT'D)
It's 555 0199. Lester Burnham. Thank
you!
Lester disconnects the call, obviously irritated.
BRAD
Hey Les. You got a minute?
Lester turns around, smiling perfunctorily
LESTER
For you, Brad? I've got five.
INT. BRAD'S OFFICE MOMENTS LATER
Brad is seated behind his desk in his big corner office.
BRAD
I'm sure you can understand our need
to cut corners around here.
Lester sits across from him, looking small and isolated.
LESTER
Oh, sure. Times are tight, and you
gotta free up cash. Gotta spend
money to make money. Right?
BRAD
Exactly. So...
Brad stands, ready to usher Lester out.
LESTER
(blurts)
Like the time when Mr. Flournoy used
the company MasterCard to pay for
that hooker, and then she used the
card numbers and stayed at the St.
Regis for, what was it, like, three
months?
BRAD
(startled)
That's unsubstantiated gossip.
LESTER
That's fifty thousand dollars.
That's somebody's salary. That's
somebody who's gonna get fired
because Craig has to pay women to
fuck him!
BRAD
Jesus. Calm down. Nobody's getting
fired yet. That's why we're having
everyone write out a job
description, mapping out in detail
how they contribute. That way,
management can assess who's valuable
and
LESTER
Who's expendable.
BRAD
It's just business.
LESTER
(angry)
I've been writing for this magazine
for fourteen years, Brad. You've
been here how long, a whole month?
BRAD
(frank)
I'm one of the good guys, Les. I'm
trying to level with you. This is
your one chance to save your job.
Lester stares at him, powerless.
Ratings
Scene 4 - Fractured Connections
A MOVING VAN is parked in front of the COLONIAL HOUSE next
door to the Burnhams'. Movers carry furniture toward the
house.
The MercedesBenz pulls into the Burnham driveway. Carolyn
drives, Lester is in the passenger seat.
CAROLYN
there is no decision, you just
write the damn thing!
LESTER
You don't think it's weird and kinda
fascist?
CAROLYN
Possibly. But you don't want to be
unemployed.
LESTER
Oh, well, let's just all sell our
souls and work for Satan, because
it's more convenient that way.
CAROLYN
Could you be just a little bit more
dramatic, please, huh?
As they get out of the car, Carolyn scopes out the MOVERS
next door.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
So we've finally got new neighbors.
You know, if the Lomans had let me
represent them, instead of
(heavy disdain)
"The Real Estate King," that house
would never have sat on the market
for six months.
She heads into the house, followed by Lester.
LESTER
Well, they were still mad at you for
cutting down their sycamore.
CAROLYN
Their sycamore? C'mon! A substantial
portion of the root structure was on
our property. You know that. How can
you call it their sycamore? I
wouldn't have the heart to just cut
down something if it wasn't
partially mine, which of course it
was.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE DINING ROOM LATER THAT NIGHT
We HEAR EASYLISTENING MUSIC.
Lester, Carolyn and Jane are eating dinner by CANDLELIGHT.
RED ROSES are bunched in a vase at the center of the table.
Nobody makes eye contact, or even seems aware of anybody
else's presence, until...
JANE
Mom, do we always have to listen to
this elevator music?
CAROLYN
(considers)
No. No, we don't. As soon as you've
prepared a nutritious yet savory
meal that I'm about to eat, you can
listen to whatever you like.
A long beat. Lester suddenly turns to Jane.
LESTER
So Janie, how was school?
JANE
(suspicious)
It was okay.
LESTER
Just okay?
JANE
No, Dad. It was spectacular.
A beat.
LESTER
Well, you want to know how things
went at my job today?
Now she looks at him as if he's lost his mind.
LESTER (CONT'D)
They've hired this efficiency
expert, this really friendly guy
named Brad, how perfect is that? And
he's basically there to make it seem
like they're justified in firing
somebody, because they couldn't just
come right out and say that, could
they? No, no, that would be too...
honest. And so they've asked us
(off her look)
you couldn't possibly care any
less, could you?
Carolyn is watching this closely.
JANE
(uncomfortable)
Well, what do you expect? You can't
all of a sudden be my best friend,
just because you had a bad day.
She gets up and heads toward the kitchen.
JANE (CONT'D)
I mean, hello. You've barely even
spoken to me for months.
She's gone. Lester notices Carolyn looking at him
critically.
LESTER
Oh, what, you're motheroftheyear?
You treat her like an employee.
CAROLYN
(taken aback)
What?!
Lester is quiet, staring at his plate.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
(more authority)
What?
Lester gets up and starts after Jane, taking his plate with
him.
LESTER
I'm going to get some ice cream.
Carolyn watches him go, irritated.
Ratings
Scene 5 - Fractured Connections
Jane stands at the sink, rinsing off her plate. Lester
enters.
LESTER
Honey, I'm sorry. I...
Jane turns and stares at him, waiting for him to finish.
LESTER (CONT'D)
I'm sorry I haven't been more
available, I just... I'm...
He's looking to her for a little help here, but she's too
uncomfortable with this sudden intimacy to give him any.
LESTER (CONT'D)
(finally)
You know, you don't always have to
wait for me to come to you...
JANE
Oh, great. So now it's my fault?
LESTER
I didn't say that. It's nobody's
fault. Janie, what happened? You and
I used to be pals.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE CONTINUOUS
On VIDEO: We're looking through GREENHOUSE WINDOWS at Lester
and Jane in the kitchen We can't hear what they're saying,
but it's obvious it's not going well.
Jane puts her plate in the dishwasher and leaves. We FOLLOW
HER out the door, then the camera JERKS back to Lester
calling after her.
CLOSE on the face of RICKY FITTS, illuminated by the screen
of his DIGICAM as he videotapes. Ricky is eighteen, but his
eyes are much older. Beneath his Zenlike tranquility lurks
something wounded... and dangerous.
His POV, on VIDEO: Through the kitchen window, we see Lester
at the sink, rinsing off his plate, muttering to himself.
His head suddenly jerks up and he looks at us, as if he
realizes he's being watched.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE KITCHEN CONTINUOUS
Lester's POV: We're looking out through the kitchen window
at the point where Ricky was just standing, but he's no
longer there.
Lester turns off the faucet, dries his hands, then tosses
the towel on the counter on his way out, where it lands next
to a framed PHOTOGRAPH of Lester, Carolyn, and a much
younger Jane, taken several years earlier at an amusement
park.
It's startling how happy they look.
EXT. SALE HOUSE DAY
CLOSE on a wooden SIGN that reads:
OPEN HOUSE TODAY
BURNHAM & ASSOCIATES REALTY
5550195 Carolyn Burnham
The sign is planted in front of a RUNDOWN HOME in a run
down neighborhood. The Mercedes is parked in front of the
house. Carolyn, wearing a smart business suit, is unloading
a box of cleaning supplies and a BOOMBOX from the back of
the Mercedes when something across the street catches her
eye.
Her POV: In front of a different house with much more curb
appeal is another SIGN, featuring a picture of a handsome
silverhaired MAN. It reads:
Another One SOLD By Buddy Kane
The Real Estate King 5550100
Carolyn frowns and slams the back of the Mercedes shut.
Ratings
Scene 6 - Determined Sales Pitch
The interior of this house is ugly, oppressive and
tasteless. Carolyn opens the front door, breathes deeply and
solemnly announces:
CAROLYN
I will sell this house today.
She neatly arranges her sales materials on a desk, then
strips down to her undergarments.
MONTAGE:
We see Carolyn, working with fierce concentration as she:
Cleans glass doors that overlook the patio and pool;
Doggedly scrubs countertops in the kitchen;
Perches on a stepladder to dust a cheaplooking ceiling fan
in the master bedroom;
And vacuums a dirty carpet that will never be clean.
Throughout all this, she keeps repeating to herself:
CAROLYN
I will sell this house today. I will
sell this house today. I will sell
this house today.
INT. SALE HOUSE BATHROOM LATER
Carolyn stands in front of the mirror, wearing her suit once
more, applying lipstick. She stares at her reflection
critically.
CAROLYN
I will sell this house today.
She says this as if it were a threat, then notices a smudge
on the mirror and wipes it off.
EXT. SALE HOUSE FRONT YARD LATER
The front door opens to reveal Carolyn, greeting us with the
smile she thinks could sell ice to an Eskimo.
CAROLYN
Welcome. I'm Carolyn Burnham!
INT. SALE HOUSE FOYER CONTINUOUS
Smiling, Carolyn leads a man and woman into the living room.
They're thirtyish, and they've seen a lot of houses today.
CAROLYN
This living room is very dramatic.
Wait 'til you see the native stone
fireplace!
The man and woman glance around the dark room, unimpressed.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
A simple cream would really lighten
things up. You could even put in a
skylight.
The woman wrinkles her face, skeptical.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
Well, why don't we go into the
kitchen?
Ratings
Scene 7 - Emotional Turmoil in the Sale House
Carolyn enters, followed by a different couple in their
fifties.
CAROLYN
It's a dream come true for any cook.
Just filled with positive energy.
Huh?
INT. SALE HOUSE MASTER BEDROOM LATER
Carolyn stands with a different couple: African American,
late twenties. The woman is pregnant.
CAROLYN
...and you'll be surprised how much
a ceiling fan can cut down on your
energy costs.
EXT. SALE HOUSE BACK YARD LATER
Carolyn stands by the pool next to two fortyish WOMEN.
CAROLYN
You know, you could have some really
fun backyard gettogethers out here.
WOMAN #1
The ad said this pool was "lagoon
like." There's nothing "lagoonlike"
about it. Except for maybe the bugs.
WOMAN #2
There's not even any plants out
here.
CAROLYN
(re: shrub)
What do you call this? Is this not a
plant? If you have a problem with
the plants, I can always call my
landscape architect. Solved.
WOMAN #2
I mean, I think "lagoon," I think
waterfall, I think tropical. This is
a cement hole.
A beat.
CAROLYN
I have some tiki torches in the
garage.
INT. SALE HOUSE SUN ROOM LATER
Carolyn enters, alone. She's furious. She locks the sliding
glass door and starts to pull the vertical blinds shut, then
stops. Standing very still, with the blinds casting shadows
across her face, she starts to cry: brief, staccato SOBS
that seemingly escape against her will. Suddenly she SLAPS
herself, hard.
CAROLYN
Shut up. Stop it. You... Weak!
But the tears continue. She SLAPS herself again.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
Weak. Baby. Shut up. Shut up! Shut
up!
She SLAPS herself repeatedly until she stops crying. She
stands there, taking deep breaths until she has everything
under control, then pulls the blinds shut, once again all
business. She walks out calmly, leaving us alone in the
dark, empty room.
We HEAR CHEERING and APPLAUSE.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM NIGHT
We're at a highschool BASKETBALL GAME. Teenage boys play a
fast and furious game. One team wearing pale blue and white
uniforms scores a basket. Perky cheerleaders jump up and
down as the CROWD goes wild.
Seated in the bleachers, next to the high school BAND, is a
group of about twenty TEENAGE GIRLS, dressed in pale blue
and white uniforms. Among them, Jane sits next to ANGELA
HAYES. At sixteen, Angela is strikingly beautiful; with
perfect even features, blonde hair and a nubile young body,
she's the archetypal American dream girl.
Jane stands and scans the bleachers.
ANGELA
Who are you looking for?
JANE
My parents are coming tonight.
They're trying to, you know, take an
active interest in me.
ANGELA
Gross. I hate it when my mom does
that.
JANE
They're such assholes. Why can't
they just have their own lives?
Ratings
Scene 8 - Dancing Shadows
Carolyn drives. Lester is slumped in the passenger seat.
LESTER
What makes you so sure she wants us
to be there? Did she ask us to come?
CAROLYN
Of course not. She doesn't want us
to know how important this is to
her. But she's been practicing her
steps for weeks.
LESTER
Well, I bet money she's going to
resent it. And I'm missing the James
Bond marathon on TNT.
CAROLYN
Lester, this is important. I'm
sensing a real distance growing
between you and Jane.
LESTER
Growing? She hates me.
CAROLYN
She's just willful.
LESTER
She hates you too.
Carolyn stares at him, unsure of how to respond.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM LATER
The uniformed girls now stand in formation on the gym floor.
ANNOUNCER
(over P.A.)
And now, for your halftime
entertainment, Rockwell High's
awardwinning Dancing Spartanettes!
In the crowded stands, Lester and Carolyn find seats.
LESTER
We can leave right after this,
right?
The HIGH SCHOOL BAND plays "ON BROADWAY." On the gym floor,
the girls perform. They're wellrehearsed, but too young to
carry off the ambitious Vegas routine they're attempting.
Lester, watching from the stands, picks out his daughter.
His POV: Jane performs well, concentrating. Dancing
awkwardly next to her is Angela. Suddenly Angela looks right
at us and smiles... a lazy, insolent smile.
Lester leans forward in his seat.
His POV: We're focused on Angela now. Everything starts to
SLOW DOWN... the MUSIC acquires an eerie ECHO...
We ZOOM slowly toward Lester as he watches, transfixed.
His POV: Angela's awkwardness gives way to a fluid grace,
and "ON BROADWAY" FADES into dreamy, hypnotic MUSIC. The
light on Angela grows stronger, and the other girls
DISAPPEAR entirely.
Lester is suddenly alone in the stands, spellbound.
His POV: Angela looks directly at us now, dancing only for
Lester. Her movements take on a blatantly erotic edge as she
starts to unzip her uniform, teasing us with an expression
that's both innocent and knowing, then... she pulls her
uniform OPEN and a profusion of RED ROSE PETALS spill
forth... and we SMASH CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 9 - Awkward Encounters
Angela, fully clothed, is once again surrounded by the other
girls. The HIGH SCHOOL BAND plays its last note, the Dancing
Spartanettes strike their final pose, and the audience
APPLAUDS.
Carolyn claps along with the rest of the audience. Lester
just sits there, unable to take his eyes off Angela.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM LATER
The game is long over. Jane and Angela come out of the gym.
JANE
Oh shit, they're still here.
Her POV: Lester and Carolyn stand at the edge of the parking
lot.
LESTER
Janie!
CAROLYN
Hi! I really enjoyed that!
She crosses reluctantly toward her parents, followed by
Angela.
LESTER
Congratulations, honey, you were
great.
JANE
I didn't win anything.
LESTER
(to Angela)
Hi, I'm Lester. Janie's dad.
ANGELA
Oh. Hi.
An awkward beat.
JANE
This is my friend, Angela Hayes.
LESTER
Okay, good to meet you. You were
also good tonight. Very... precise.
ANGELA
(warming)
Thanks.
CAROLYN
(to Angela)
Nice to meet you, Angela.
(to Jane)
Honey, I'm so proud of you. I
watched you very closely, and you
didn't screw up once.
(then, to Lester)
Okay, we have to go.
She starts toward the parking lot. Lester stays behind.
LESTER
So, what are you girls doing now?
JANE
Dad.
ANGELA
We're going out for pizza.
LESTER
Oh really, do you need a ride? We
can give you a ride. I have a car.
You wanna come with us?
ANGELA
Thanks... but I have a car.
LESTER
Oh, you have a car. Oh. That's
great! That's great, because Janie's
thinking about getting a car soon
too, aren't you, honey?
JANE
(you freak)
Dad. Mom's waiting for you.
LESTER
Well, it was very nice meeting you,
Angela. Any, uh, friend of Janie's
is a friend of mine.
Angela smiles, aware of the power she has over him. He is
mesmerized; grateful, even.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Well... I'll be seeing you around
then.
Lester waves awkwardly as he crosses off.
JANE
Could he be any more pathetic?
ANGELA
I think it's sweet. And I think he
and your mother have not had sex in
a long time.
Ratings
Scene 10 - Awakening Desire
CLOSE on a solitary red ROSE PETAL as it falls slowly
through the air.
We're looking down on Lester and Carolyn in bed. Even in
sleep, Carolyn looks determined. Lester is awake and stares
up at us.
LESTER
It's the weirdest thing.
The ROSE PETAL drifts into view, landing on his pillow.
LESTER (CONT'D)
I feel like I've been in a coma for
about twenty years, and I'm just now
waking up.
More ROSE PETALS fall onto the bed, and he smiles up at...
His POV: Angela, naked, FLOATS above us as a deluge of ROSE
PETALS falls around her. Her hair fans out around her head
and GLOWS with a subtle, burnished light. She looks down at
us with a smile that is all things...
Lester smiles back and LAUGHS, as ROSE PETALS cover his
face.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Spectacular.
EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL CONTINUOUS
A WHITE BMW 328si CONVERTIBLE is parked on the street
outside the Burnham's house. We HEAR girlish LAUGHTER from
inside.
INT. ANGELA'S BMW CONTINUOUS
Angela is behind the wheel, Jane in the passenger seat.
They're passing a JOINT back and forth.
JANE
I'm sorry my dad was so weird
tonight.
ANGELA
It's okay. I'm used to guys drooling
over me. It started when I was about
twelve, I'd go out to dinner with my
parents. Every Thursday night, Red
Lobster. And every guy there would
stare at me when I walked in. And I
knew what they were thinking. Just
like I knew guys at school thought
about me when they jerked off.
JANE
Vomit.
ANGELA
No, I liked it. And I still like it.
If people I don't even know look at
me and want to fuck me, it means I
really have a shot at being a model.
Which is great, because there's
nothing worse in life than being
ordinary.
An awkward beat. Jane stares at the floor.
JANE
I really think it'll happen for you.
ANGELA
Oh, I know. Because everything that
was meant to happen, does.
Eventually.
Ratings
Scene 11 - Invasive Curiosity
On VIDEO: Jane gets out of the car, still LAUGHING, and
waves as Angela pulls away. We ZOOM toward Jane as she walks
up the driveway. She turns suddenly, sensing our presence.
Her POV: We're looking at the COLONIAL HOUSE next door where
the moving van was parked earlier. The front porch is
shrouded in darkness... then a PORCH LIGHT abruptly reveals
Ricky. As usual, he's dressed conservatively. There is a
BEEPER attached to his belt, and his DIGICAM dangles loosely
around his neck.
Irritated, Jane stares at him, hard.
JANE
Asshole.
He looks back at her curiously, then raises his Digicam and
starts to videotape her.
His POV, on VIDEO: Jane, angry and selfconscious, turns and
walks quickly toward her house, flipping us off as she goes.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE FOYER CONTINUOUS
Jane enters, closes and locks the door. She quickly TURNS
OFF THE LIGHT that's been left on for her, then peeks
through a window.
Her POV: There's no sign of Ricky.
Jane turns back into the room, her heart racing... and
smiles.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE JANE'S BEDROOM THE NEXT MORNING
CLOSE on an ADDRESS BOOK: A man's hand flips to the H page
and then his finger stops at the name Angela Hayes.
Lester, dressed for work, goes through Jane's address book.
We HEAR the SHOWER running in the adjacent bathroom. He
grabs Jane's phone and dials, then stands with the receiver
to his ear, nervous.
ANGELA
(over phone line)
Hello? Hello?
Lester is frozen, unable to speak. Suddenly, the SHOWER is
turned off in the next room. Lester hangs up and exits
quickly. A moment, then the PHONE RINGS. Jane emerges from
the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her torso, drying her
wet hair. She picks up the PHONE.
JANE
Hello?
INT. HAYES HOUSE ANGELA'S BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
Angela is sprawled across her bed, on the phone.
ANGELA
Why'd you call me?
INTERCUT WITH JANE IN HER BEDROOM:
JANE
I didn't.
ANGELA
Well, my phone just rang and I
answered it and somebody hung up and
then I star sixtynined and it
called you back.
JANE
I was in the shower.
Then Jane notices her address book open to the H page.
JANE (CONT'D)
Oh, gross.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE CONTINUOUS
On VIDEO: We're across from Jane's WINDOW, looking in. Jane
picks up the address book, frowning. She speaks into the
phone, but we can't hear her.
WOMAN'S VOICE (O.C.)
(sing song)
Ricky! Breakfast!
INT. FITTS HOUSE RICKY'S BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
Ricky stands at his window, videotaping. He lowers his
Digicam, but his eyes remain locked on Jane across the way.
RICKY
Be right there.
INT. FITTS HOUSE KITCHEN MOMENTS LATER
BARBARA FITTS stands at the stove, flipping bacon strips
mechanically, her eyes focused elsewhere. At least ten years
younger than her husband, she's pretty in a June Cleaverish
way. The Colonel sits at a dinette reading The Wall Street
Journal. Ricky enters.
RICKY
Mom.
Startled, Barbara turns to him.
BARBARA
Hello.
As she attempts to serve him bacon:
RICKY
I don't eat bacon, remember?
BARBARA
(unnerved)
I'm sorry, I must have forgotten.
Ricky serves himself scrambled eggs from another pan, then
joins his father at the table.
RICKY
What's new in the world, Dad?
COLONEL
This country is going straight to
hell.
A DOORBELL rings. The Colonel and Barbara look at each
other, alarmed.
COLONEL (CONT'D)
Are you expecting anyone?
BARBARA
No.
(thinks)
No.
The Colonel heads toward the living room, a little puffed
up.
Ratings
Scene 12 - Tension in the Neighborhood
The Colonel opens the front door to reveal the two JIMS.
JIM #1
Hi.
JIM #2
Welcome to the neighborhood.
Jim #1 holds out a basket filled with flowers, vegetables
and a small white cardboard box tied with raffia.
JIM #1
Just a little something from our
garden.
JIM #2
Except for the pasta, we got that at
Fallaci's.
JIM #1
It's unbelievably fresh. You just
drop it in the water and it's done.
The Colonel stares at them, suspicious.
JIM #1 (CONT'D)
(offers his hand)
Jim Olmeyer. Two doors down. Welcome
to the neighborhood.
COLONEL
(shakes)
Colonel Frank Fitts, U.S. Marine
Corps.
JIM #1
Nice to meet you. And this is my
partner...
JIM #2
(offers his hand)
Jim Berkley, but people call me J.B.
COLONEL
Let's cut to the chase, okay? What
are you guys selling?
JIM #2
(after a beat)
Nothing. We just wanted to say hi to
our new neighbors
COLONEL
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you said
you're partners. So what's your
business?
The Jims look at each other, then back at the Colonel.
JIM #1
Well, he's a tax attorney.
JIM #2
And he's an anesthesiologist.
The Colonel looks at them, confused. Then it dawns on him.
INT. COLONEL'S FORD EXPLORER LATER
The Colonel drives, staring darkly at the road ahead. In the
passenger seat, Ricky is using a CALCULATOR and jotting
numbers down in a NOTEBOOK.
COLONEL
How come these faggots always have
to rub it in your face? How can they
be so shameless?
RICKY
That's the whole thing, Dad. They
don't feel like it's anything to be
ashamed of.
The Colonel looks at Ricky sharply.
COLONEL
Well, it is.
A beat, as Ricky continues his calculations, before he
realizes a response is expected from him. Then:
RICKY
Yeah, you're right.
The Colonel's eyes flash angrily.
COLONEL
Don't placate me like I'm your
mother, boy.
Ricky sighs, then looks at his father.
RICKY
Forgive me, sir, for speaking so
bluntly, but those fags make me want
to puke my fucking guts out.
The Colonel is taken aback but quickly covers.
COLONEL
Me too, son. Me too.
Case closed, Ricky goes back to his calculations.
CLOSE on the pencil in his hands: He's totaling two columns
of NUMBERS. Under the column "Income" he writes in swift,
bold strokes: $24,950.00.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL CAMPUS A SHORT TIME LATER
Jane and Angela are standing with two other TEENAGE GIRLS.
ANGELA
I'm serious, he just pulled down his
pants and yanked it out. You know,
like, say hello to Mr. Happy.
TEENAGE GIRL #1
Gross.
ANGELA
It wasn't gross. It was kind of
cool.
TEENAGE GIRL #1
So, did you do it with him?
ANGELA
Of course I did. He is a really
wellknown photographer? He shoots
for Elle on like, a regular basis?
It would have been so majorly stupid
of me to turn him down.
TEENAGE GIRL #2
You are a total prostitute.
ANGELA
Hey. That's how things really are.
You just don't know, because you're
this pampered little suburban chick.
TEENAGE GIRL #2
So are you. You've only been in
Seventeen once, and you looked fat,
so stop acting like you're goddamn
Christy Turlington.
The two TEENAGE GIRLS move away from Jane and Angela.
ANGELA
(calling off)
Cunt!
(then)
I am so sick of people taking their
insecurities out on me.
The Colonel's Ford Explorer pulls up, and Ricky gets out.
JANE
Oh my God. That's the pervert who
filmed me last night.
ANGELA
Him? Jane. No way. He's a total
lunatic.
JANE
You know him?
ANGELA
Yeah. We were on the same lunch
shift when I was in ninth grade, and
he would always say the most random,
weird things, and then one day, he
was just like, gone. And then,
Connie Cardullo told me he his
parents had to put him in a mental
institution.
JANE
Why? What did he do?
ANGELA
What do you mean?
JANE
Well, they can't put you away just
for saying weird things.
Angela stares at Jane, then her mouth widens into a smile.
ANGELA
You total slut. You've got a crush
on him.
JANE
What? Please.
ANGELA
You were defending him! You love
him. You want to have like, ten
thousand of his babies.
JANE
Shut up.
Jane suddenly finds Ricky standing in front of her.
RICKY
Hi. My name's Ricky. I just moved
next door to you.
JANE
I know. I kinda remember this really
creepy incident when you were
filming me last night?
RICKY
I didn't mean to scare you. I just
think you're interesting.
Angela shoots a wideeyed look at Jane, who ignores it.
JANE
Thanks, but I really don't need to
have some psycho obsessing about me
right now.
RICKY
I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious.
He looks at her intently, his eyes searching hers. Jane is
unnerved and has to look away. Ricky smiles and walks off.
ANGELA
What a freak. And why does he dress
like a Bible salesman?
JANE
He's like, so confident. That can't
be real.
ANGELA
I don't believe him. I mean, he
didn't even like, look at me once.
Ratings
Scene 13 - Facade of Happiness
CLOSE on a TV SCREEN: "Hogan's Heroes" on Nick at Nite.
The Colonel and Barbara are seated on a couch, watching
television. The Colonel is smiling, enjoying the show;
Barbara just stares. The Colonel CHUCKLES at a joke and
startles her.
We HEAR a door opening elsewhere in the house, and Ricky
enters.
RICKY
Hey.
He sits on the couch, next to his father, and watches TV
along with them. The Colonel's smile fades.
BARBARA
(out of the blue)
I'm sorry, what?
RICKY
Mom. Nobody said anything.
BARBARA
Oh. I'm sorry.
The three of them stare at the TV, like strangers in an
airport.
INT. HOTEL BALLROOM NIGHT
We HEAR MUSIC under a room full of people all talking at
once, as Lester and Carolyn enter a hotel ballroom. We
FOLLOW THEM as they pass a SIGN that reads:
GREATER ROCKWELL REALTOR RESOURCES GROUP
CAROLYN
everyone here is with their spouse
or their significant other. How
would it look if I showed up with no
one?
LESTER
Well, you always end up ignoring me
and going off
Inside the ballroom, welldressed real estate professionals
stand in clumps, chatting. Catering waiters serve hors
d'eouvres.
CAROLYN
Now listen to me. This is an
important business function. As you
know, my business is selling an
image. And part of my job is to live
that image
LESTER
Just say whatever you want to say
and spare me the propaganda.
CAROLYN
(spots someone)
Hi, Shirley!
(to Lester)
Listen, just do me a favor. Act
happy tonight?
LESTER
(grins stupidly)
I am happy, honey.
Carolyn's jaw tightens, then:
CAROLYN
(spots someone)
Oh! Buddy!
She drags Lester toward a silverhaired MAN and his much
younger WIFE. We recognize the Man as BUDDY KANE, The Real
Estate King.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
(shakes Buddy's hand)
Buddy! Buddy. Hi! Good to see you
again.
BUDDY
It's so good to see you too,
Catherine.
CAROLYN
Carolyn.
BUDDY
Carolyn! Of course. How are you?
CAROLYN
Very well, thank you.
(to his wife)
Hello, Christy.
CHRISTY
Hello.
CAROLYN
My husband, Lester
BUDDY
(shakes Lester's hand)
It's a pleasure.
LESTER
Oh, we've met before, actually. This
thing last year. Or the Christmas
thing at the Sheraton.
BUDDY
Oh, yes.
LESTER
It's okay. I wouldn't remember me
either.
He LAUGHS. A little too loudly. Carolyn quickly joins in.
CAROLYN
(forced gaiety)
Honey. Don't be weird.
She smiles her most winning smile at him. He knows this
persona well, only it's never pissed him off as much as it
does right now.
LESTER
All right, honey. I won't be weird.
(his face close to hers)
I'll be whatever you want me to be.
And he kisses hera soft, warm kiss that speaks
unmistakably of sexthen turns to the others and grins.
LESTER (CONT'D)
We have a very healthy relationship.
BUDDY
I see.
Carolyn's smile is frozen on her face.
LESTER
Well. I don't know about you, but I
need a drink.
He crosses off. Carolyn, Buddy and Christy watch him go.
Ratings
Scene 14 - Hidden Desires
Lester stands at the bar. A bartender pours him a drink.
LESTER
Whoa. Put a little more in there,
cowboy.
The bartender complies. Lester takes his drink and turns to
face the center of the room.
His POV: Carolyn is talking to Buddy and Christy. She's on:
smiling, animated, LAUGHING too loud at their jokes.
Lester shakes his head. Ricky approaches him, wearing a
waiter's uniform, carrying a tray of empty glasses.
RICKY
Excuse me. Don't you live on Robin
Hood Trail? The house with the red
door?
LESTER
(suspicious)
Yeah.
RICKY
I'm Ricky Fitts. I just moved into
the house next to you.
LESTER
Oh. Hi, Ricky Fitts. I'm Lester
Burnham.
RICKY
Hi, Lester Burnham.
A beat. Lester looks away, scans the crowd, then downs the
rest of his drink in one gulp. Ricky just stands there,
watching him. Finally Lester turns back to Ricky: what does
this kid want?
RICKY (CONT'D)
Do you party?
LESTER
Excuse me?
RICKY
Do you get high?
Lester's surprised, but instantly intrigued.
INT. HOTEL BALLROOM MOMENTS LATER
Carolyn and Buddy are deep in conversation. Christy has
wandered off. Carolyn is nervous; Buddy seems amused.
CAROLYN
You know, I probably wouldn't even
tell you this if I weren't a little
tipsy, but... I am in complete awe
of you. I mean, your firm is, hands
down, the Rolls Royce of local Real
Estate firms, and your personal
sales record is, is, is very
intimidating. You know, I'd love to
sit down with you and just pick your
brain, if you'd ever be willing. I
suppose, technically, I'm the
"competition," but... I mean, hey, I
don't flatter myself that I'm even
in the same league as you...
BUDDY
I'd love to.
CAROLYN
(shocked)
Really?
BUDDY
Absolutely. Call my secretary and
have her schedule a lunch.
CAROLYN
I'll do that. Thank you.
They look at each other for a beat, then look away. This
situation is loaded and they both know it.
EXT. HOTEL LATER
Ricky and Lester stand next to a dumpster behind the service
entrance to the hotel, smoking a JOINT.
LESTER
...did you ever see that movie,
where the body's walking around
holding its own head? And then the
head goes down on that babe?
RICKY
ReAnimator.
Suddenly, the service entrance opens, and a large CATERING
BOSS in a cheap suit peers out at them. Ricky hides the
joint.
CATERING BOSS
(to Ricky)
Look. I'm not paying you to...
(eyes Lester, suspiciously)
...do whatever it is you're doing
out here.
RICKY
Fine. So don't pay me.
CATERING BOSS
Excuse me?
RICKY
I quit. So you don't have to pay me.
Now, leave me alone.
CATERING BOSS
Asshole.
He goes back inside. Lester looks at Ricky, who shrugs.
LESTER
I think you just became my personal
hero.
(then)
Doesn't that make you nervous, just
quitting your job like that? Well, I
guess when you're all of, what?
Sixteen?
RICKY
Eighteen.
(then)
I just do these gigs as a cover. I
have other sources of income. But my
dad interferes less in my life when
I pretend to be an upstanding young
citizen with a respectable job.
CAROLYN (O.C.)
Lester?
Carolyn is standing in the open service entrance. Lester
quickly hides the joint behind his back.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
What are you doing?
LESTER
Honey, this is...
(laughs)
Ricky Fitts. This is Ricky Fitts.
RICKY
I'm Ricky Fitts, I just moved in the
house next to you. I go to school
with your daughter.
LESTER
With Jane? Really?
RICKY
Yeah. Jane.
CAROLYN
Hi.
(then, to Lester)
I'm ready to go. I'll meet you out
front.
And she goes back inside.
LESTER
Uhoh. I'm in trouble. Nice meeting
you, Ricky Fitts. Thanks for the,
uh, thing.
RICKY
Any time.
Lester goes inside.
RICKY (CONT'D)
(calls after him)
Lester. If you want any more, you
know where I live.
Ratings
Scene 15 - Awkward Encounters
Jane and Angela are watching MTV. We HEAR the back door
open.
JANE
Oh, shit. They're home. Quick, let's
go up to my room.
Jane switches off the TV.
ANGELA
I should say hi to your dad.
(off Jane's look)
I don't want to be rude.
She starts toward the kitchen. Jane doesn't like this.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE KITCHEN CONTINUOUS
Lester enters and opens the refrigerator.
ANGELA (O.C.)
Nice suit.
He turns, and is instantly transfixed by:
His POV: Angela leans against the counter, twirling her
hair.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
You're looking good, Mr. Burnham.
She starts toward him.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
Last time I saw you, you looked kind
of wound up.
(spots something)
Ooh, is that root beer?
She reaches inside the refrigerator to grab a bottle. As she
does, she moves to place her other hand casually on Lester's
shoulder. He sees it coming. Everything SLOWS DOWN, and all
sound FADES...
EXTREME CLOSE UP on her hand as it briefly touches his
shoulder in SLOW MOTION. We HEAR only the amplified BRUSH of
her fingers against the fabric of his suit, and its
unnatural, hollow ECHO...
BACK IN REAL TIME: She grabs the root beer and smiles at
him.
CLOSE on Lester: his eyes narrow slightly, then:
He cups her face in his hands and kisses her. She seems
shocked, but doesn't resist as he pulls her toward him with
surprising strength. He breaks the kiss, looking at her in
awe, then he reaches up and touches his lips. His eyes widen
as he pulls a ROSE PETAL from his mouth right before we
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE KITCHEN CONTINUOUS
Angela is back against the counter, drinking the root beer.
Lester stands by the refrigerator, gazing at her, still lost
in fantasy.
ANGELA
I love root beer, don't you?
Jane watches from the doorway to the family room, feeling
incredibly awkward in her own home. Carolyn enters from the
dining room. Lester snaps out of it and grabs a root beer
from the refrigerator.
JANE
Mom, you remember Angela.
CAROLYN
(her sales smile)
Yes, of course!
JANE
I forgot to tell you, she's spending
the night. Is that okay?
LESTER
Sure!
He takes a sip of his root beer, but it goes down the wrong
way and he starts COUGHING violently.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE JANE'S BEDROOM LATER THAT NIGHT
Angela lays on the bed, in bra and panties, reading a
magazine. Jane, in an oversized T shirt, plays a video game
on her computer.
JANE
I'm sorry about my dad.
ANGELA
Don't be. I think it's funny.
JANE
Yeah, to you, he's just another guy
who wants to jump your bones. But to
me... he's just too embarrassing to
live.
ANGELA
Your mom's the one who's
embarrassing. What a phony.
Jane glances at Angela, irritated.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
Your dad's actually kind of cute.
JANE
Shut up.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE HALLWAY CONTINUOUS
Lester, still in his suit, stands outside Jane's room, his
ear up against the door. He can't believe what he's hearing.
ANGELA (O.C.)
He is. If he just worked out a
little, he'd be hot.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE JANE'S ROOM CONTINUOUS
JANE
Shut up.
ANGELA
Oh, come on. Like you've never
sneaked a peek at him in his
underwear? I bet he's got a big
dick.
JANE
You are so grossing me out right
now.
ANGELA
(really enjoying this)
If he built up his chest and arms, I
would totally fuck him.
Jane covers her ears and starts SINGING to drown her out.
Ratings
Scene 16 - Eavesdropping and Embers
Lester, still listening, looks like he's about to implode.
ANGELA (O.C.)
(laughs)
I would! I would suck your dad's big
fat dick, and then I would fuck him
'til his eyes rolled back in his
head!
(then)
What was that noise? Jane.
Jane's SINGING stops.
ANGELA (O.C.) (CONT'D)
I swear I heard something.
Panicked, Lester scurries down the hall.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE JANE'S BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
JANE
Yeah, it was the sound of you being
a huge disgusting pig.
ANGELA
I'm serious.
We HEAR the sharp TAP of a penny being thrown against glass.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
See?
Angela crosses to the window and looks out.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
(spots something)
Oh my God. Jane.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE CONTINUOUS
We see Angela standing at the window in her underwear,
looking down at us. Jane joins her and is immediately
unnerved by:
Their POV: In the Burnham's DRIVEWAY, the word "JANE" is
spelled out in FIRE.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE JANE'S BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
ANGELA
It's that psycho next door. Jane,
what if he worships you? What if
he's got a shrine with pictures of
you surrounded by dead people's
heads and stuff?
JANE
Shit. I bet he's filming us right
now.
ANGELA
(intrigued)
Really?
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE CONTINUOUS
On VIDEO: We're across from Jane's window, looking in. Jane
tries to shut the drapes, but Angela won't let her.
Irritated, Jane retreats into the room. We ZOOM toward her,
even as Angela poses in the window; we're clearly not
interested in Angela. The ZOOM continues, searching for
Jane, who has disappeared. Finally, we settle on the small
makeup MIRROR where we see a REFLECTION of Jane, back at
her computer. She's smiling. Then suddenly the DRAPES CLOSE
and she's gone.
INT. FITTS HOUSE RICKY'S BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
Ricky sits in darkness with his DIGICAM, videotaping. He
lowers the camera and smiles... then something below catches
his attention. He leans out the window to get a better look
at:
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE GARAGE CONTINUOUS
Ricky's POV: Through a WINDOW on the side of the Burnham's
GARAGE DOOR, we see Lester, still in his suit, digging
through shelves against the back wall.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE GARAGE CONTINUOUS
Lester digs through stuff stored on the shelves, searching
for something as if his very life depended on it.
LESTER
Shit. Shit!
He yanks aside COLLEGE YEARBOOKS, a racquetball RACQUET,
boxes of old HOT ROD MAGAZINES, an unopened remote
controlled MODEL JEEP KIT, stacks of old vinyl LPs...
finally his face lights up when he finds:
A pair of DUMBBELLS obviously unused for many years.
Lester rips off his jacket and tie and unbuttons his shirt.
He glances around, finding his REFLECTION in the WINDOW as
he pulls off his shirt, then the Tshirt underneath. He eyes
himself critically: Angela was right, he's not in bad shape.
Just a few extra pounds around his middle that wouldn't be
hard to shed. He kicks off his shoes and begins to step out
of his pants.
Ratings
Scene 17 - Caught in the Act
Ricky holds his Digicam up and starts to videotape.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE GARAGE CONTINUOUS
Ricky's POV, on VIDEO: Through a WINDOW on the side of the
Burnham's garage, we see Lester step out of his pants and
briefs. Then, naked except for his black socks, he grabs the
dumbbells and starts lifting them, watching his reflection
in the window as he does.
INT. FITTS HOUSE RICKY'S BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
Ricky stands at the window, videotaping.
RICKY
Welcome to America's Weirdest Home
Videos.
Suddenly we HEAR someone trying to open a locked door.
COLONEL (O.C.)
Ricky!
Moving swiftly, Ricky pulls the drapes shut and switches on
a light. His room is a haven of hightech. A stateofthe
art multimedia COMPUTER crowds his desk, and highend STEREO
and VIDEO EQUIPMENT line the shelves, as well as HUNDREDS OF
CDs. There is easily twenty thousand dollars worth of
equipment in this room.
RICKY
Coming, Dad.
COLONEL (O.C.)
You know I don't like locked doors
in my house, boy.
Ricky opens the door. The Colonel stands outside, eyeing
him.
RICKY
I'm sorry, I must have locked it by
accident. So what's up?
The Colonel holds out a small PLASTIC CUP WITH A CAP.
COLONEL
I need a urine sample.
RICKY
Wow. It's been six months already.
Can I give it to you in the morning?
I just took a whiz.
COLONEL
Yeah, I suppose.
(an awkward beat)
Well. Good night, son.
He disappears down the hall. Ricky smiles, shuts and locks
his door. He puts the plastic cup on the shelf, then crosses
to a MINI REFRIGERATOR in the corner of his room and takes
out a cupsized TUPPERWARE CONTAINER from the freezer,
already filled with urine, albeit frozen, and places it on a
saucer to thaw overnight.
INT BURNHAM HOUSE MASTER BEDROOM LATER THAT NIGHT
Carolyn lies sleeping. Lester is awake, staring at the
ceiling. After a moment, he gets up, taking care not to
disturb Carolyn, and walks toward the bathroom.
Ratings
Scene 18 - Fantasy and Frustration
Lester enters and switches on the LIGHT. The room is filled
with STEAM. Lester looks around, confused, then focuses on:
His POV: Across from us, in a PEDESTAL BATHTUB, is Angela.
She smiles and beckons us, and we MOVE CLOSER. ROSE PETALS
float on the surface of the water, obscuring her naked body.
ANGELA
I've been waiting for you.
Lester kneels by the bathtub like a man in church.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
You've been working out, haven't
you? I can tell.
She arches her back and looks up at him provocatively.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
I was hoping you'd give me a bath...
I'm very, very dirty.
Lester gives her a hard look, then slowly slips his hand
into the water between her legs. Her eyes widen and she
throws her head back... and we SMASH CUT TO:
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE MASTER BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
CLOSE on Carolyn, her eyes wide, listening to the rhythmic
BRUSH of Lester's hand as he masturbates under the covers.
She flips over and faces him.
CAROLYN
What are you doing?
A beat.
LESTER
Nothing.
Carolyn switches on the bedside LIGHT.
CAROLYN
You were masturbating.
LESTER
I was not.
CAROLYN
Yes, you were.
He turns to her, trying to look innocent, then gives up.
LESTER
All right, so shoot me. I was
whacking off.
Carolyn gets out of bed, repelled. Lester LAUGHS.
LESTER (CONT'D)
That's right. I was choking the
bishop. Shaving the carrot. Saying
hi to my monster.
CAROLYN
That's disgusting.
LESTER
Well, excuse me, but I still have
blood pumping through my veins!
CAROLYN
So do I!
LESTER
Really? I'm the only one who seems
to be doing anything about it.
CAROLYN
Lester. I refuse to live like this.
This is not a marriage.
LESTER
This hasn't been a marriage for
years. But you were happy as long as
I kept my mouth shut. Well, guess
what? I've changed. And the new me
whacks off when he feels horny,
because you're obviously not going
to help me out in that department.
CAROLYN
Oh. I see. You think you're the only
one who's sexually frustrated?
LESTER
I'm not? Well then, come on, baby!
I'm ready.
CAROLYN
(furious)
Do not mess with me, mister, or I
will divorce you so fast it'll make
your head spin!
LESTER
On what grounds? I'm not a drunk, I
don't fuck other women, I don't
mistreat you, I've never hit you, or
even tried to touch you since you
made it so abundantly clear just how
unnecessary you consider me to be.
But. I did support you while you got
your license. And some people might
think that entitles me to half of
what's yours.
She sinks into a chair, stunned. It's clear he knows where
she's most vulnerable. He sees this, and likes it; it feels
good to win for a change. He curls up under the covers
contentedly.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Turn out the light when you come to
bed, okay?
CLOSE on Lester, smiling.
Ratings
Scene 19 - Jogging Tensions
We're FLYING high above the neighborhood. Below us we see
the two Jims, jogging. We APPROACH them steadily.
LESTER
It's a great thing when you realize
you still have the ability to
surprise yourself. Makes you wonder
what else you can do that you've
forgotten about.
EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL CONTINUOUS
We're now at street level, FOLLOWING the two Jims.
LESTER
Hey! You guys!
Still running, the Jims turn back in perfect unison, as
Lester runs INTO FRAME, wearing a baggy sweatshirt and a
pair of faded old sweatpants. The Jims slow down until he
catches up, then the three men run together in the early
morning light.
JIM #2
Lester, I didn't know you ran.
LESTER
(panting)
Well, I just started.
JIM #1
Good for you.
LESTER
I figured you guys might be able to
give me some pointers. I need to
shape up. Fast.
JIM #1
Well, are you just looking to lose
weight, or do you want have
increased strength and flexibility
as well?
LESTER
I want to look good naked.
EXT. FITTS HOUSE A SHORT TIME LATER
The Colonel is washing his Ford Explorer, squatting to scrub
the bumper, when something Catches his eye:
His POV: Lester and the Jims jog down the street.
The Colonel stands, scowling, as Ricky comes out of the
house, holding the URINE SAMPLE in front of him.
COLONEL
What is this, the fucking gay pride
parade?
Lester breaks off from the two Jims and jogs up to Ricky and
the Colonel, out of breath. He grabs hold of his knees and
bends over, panting.
LESTER
Hey! Yo! Ricky!
(re: the Jims)
My entire life is passing before my
eyes, and those two have barely
broken a sweat.
He LAUGHS, and extends his hand to the Colonel.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Sorry, hi. Lester Burnham, I live
next door. We haven't met.
COLONEL
(shakes)
COLONEL FRANK FITTS, U.S. MARINE CORPS.
LESTER
Whoa. Welcome to the neighborhood,
sir.
He salutes the Colonel goodnaturedly, grinning. The Colonel
doesn't think it's funny. An awkward beat.
LESTER (CONT'D)
So, Ricky, uh, I was thinking about
the, uh... I was gonna... the movie
we talked about...
RICKY
(quickly)
ReAnimator.
LESTER
Yeah!
RICKY
You want to borrow it?
(before Lester can answer)
Okay, it's up in my room. Come on.
He heads into the house. Lester waves at the Colonel, then
follows him. The Colonel watches them go, his eyes dark.
Ratings
Scene 20 - A Stash of Secrets
Ricky enters, followed by Lester.
RICKY
Can you hold this for a sec?
LESTER
Sure.
He gives the URINE SPECIMEN to Lester, then locks the door.
RICKY
I don't think my dad would try to
come in when somebody else is here,
but you never know.
Ricky crosses to a bureau and opens a DRAWER. He takes
clothing out and piles it on his bed.
LESTER
(re: urine sample)
What is this?
RICKY
Urine. I have to take a drug test
every six months to make sure I'm
clean.
LESTER
Are you kidding? You just smoked
with me last night.
RICKY
It's not mine. One of my clients is
a nurse in a pediatrician's office.
I cut her a deal, she keeps me in
clean piss.
Lester picks up a CD case from a shelf and examines it.
LESTER
You like Pink Floyd?
RICKY
I like a lot of music.
LESTER
Man, I haven't listened to this
album in years.
He shakes his head, then puts the CD case down. Ricky,
having emptied the drawer, now removes a FALSE BOTTOM,
revealing rows of MARIJUANA, tightly packed in ZIPLOC BAGS.
RICKY
How much do you want?
LESTER
I don't know, it's been a while. How
much is an ounce?
RICKY
(indicates bag)
Well, this is totally decent, and
it's three hundred.
LESTER
Wow.
RICKY
(indicates another bag)
But this shit is top of the line.
It's called G13. Genetically
engineered by the U.S. Government.
Extremely potent. But a completely
mellow high, no paranoia.
LESTER
Is that what we smoked last night?
RICKY
This is all I ever smoke.
LESTER
How much?
RICKY
Two grand.
LESTER
Jesus. Things have changed since
1973.
RICKY
You don't have to pay now. I know
you're good for it.
A beat.
LESTER
Thanks.
RICKY
(hands him a bag)
There's a card in there with my beeper number, call me
anytime day or night. And I only accept cash.
LESTER
(looks around room)
Well, now I know how you can afford
all this equipment. When I was your
age, I flipped burgers all summer
just to be able to buy an eight
track.
RICKY
That sucks.
LESTER
No actually, it was great. All I did
was party and get laid.
(smiles)
I had my whole life ahead of me...
RICKY
My dad thinks I pay for all this
with catering jobs.
(off Lester's look)
Never underestimate the power of
denial.
Lester smiles. This kid's cool.
Ratings
Scene 21 - Confrontation in the Garage
Carolyn, carrying a basket of fresh cut ROSES, passes by the
GARAGE WINDOW. From inside the garage, we HEAR ROCK MUSIC.
Carolyn stops and SNIFFS the air, frowning. She peers
through the window.
Her POV: Lester, in a Tshirt and gym shorts, lies on a new
WEIGHT BENCH, doing bench presses with shiny new BARBELLS.
INT. GARAGE CONTINUOUS
ROCK MUSIC blasts from a new BOOMBOX on the floor.
The garage is in the process of becoming Lester's sanctuary.
An ugly but comfortable 70's BOWL CHAIR has been pulled out
and cleaned off, his old hot rod magazines strewn across it,
and the remotecontrolled MODEL JEEP KIT is spread across a
card table. The SHELVES that Lester tore through earlier
have been dismantled, leaving a blank wall on which now
hangs a DART BOARD.
Lester finishes his last rep, straining, then puts the
weights in their rack and sits up. As he takes a drag off a
joint, the GARAGE DOOR suddenly starts to open. Lester looks
up, squinting at:
His POV: The door raises to reveal Carolyn, silhouetted
against the bright sunlight outside, pointing a REMOTE at
us.
LESTER
Uhoh, mom's mad.
CAROLYN
What the hell do you think you're
doing?
LESTER
Bench presses. I'm going to wail on
my pecs, and then I'm going to do my
back.
CAROLYN
I see you're smoking pot now. I'm so
glad. I think using illegal
psychotropic substances is a very
positive example to set for our
daughter.
LESTER
You're one to talk, you bloodless,
money grubbing freak.
CAROLYN
(hostile)
Lester. You have such hostility in
you!
LESTER
Do you mind? I'm trying to work out
here.
(then, suggestively)
Unless you want to spot me.
CAROLYN
You will not get away with this. You
can be sure of that!
And she's gone. Lester leans back on the bench and grabs the
weights.
LESTER
(as he lifts)
That's. What. You. Think.
Ratings
Scene 22 - Negotiation at the Edge
Brad is seated behind his desk, reading a document. Lester
sits across from him, smiling.
BRAD
(reads)
"...my job consists of basically
masking my contempt for the assholes
in charge, and, at least once a day,
retiring to the men's room so I can
jerk off, while I fantasize about a
life that doesn't so closely
resemble hell."
(looks up at Lester)
Well, you obviously have no interest
in saving yourself.
LESTER
(laughs)
Brad, for fourteen years I've been a
whore for the advertising industry.
The only way I could save myself now
is if I start firebombing.
BRAD
Whatever. Management wants you gone
by the end of the day.
LESTER
Well, just what sort of severance
package is "management" prepared to
offer me? Considering the
information I have about our
editorial director buying pussy with
company money.
A beat.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Which I'm sure would interest the
I.R.S., since it technically
constitutes fraud. And I'm sure that
some of our advertisers and rival
publications might like to know
about it as well. Not to mention,
Craig's wife.
Brad sighs.
BRAD
What do you want?
LESTER
One year's salary, with benefits.
BRAD
That's not going to happen.
LESTER
Well, what do you say I throw in a
little sexual harassment charge to
boot?
Brad LAUGHS.
BRAD
Against who?
LESTER
Against you.
Brad stops laughing.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Can you prove you didn't offer to
save my job if I'd let you blow me?
Brad leans back in his chair, studying Lester.
BRAD
Man. You are one twisted fuck.
LESTER
(standing)
Nope. I'm just an ordinary guy with
nothing to lose.
Ratings
Scene 23 - Moments of Change and Connection
Exhilarated, Lester walks down a corridor, his belongings in
a box on his shoulder. He's happier than he's been in years.
LESTER
Yeah!
INT. RESTAURANT LATER THAT DAY
Carolyn sits at a table, lost in thought. There are two
menus on the table. After a moment, Buddy Kane, the Real
Estate King, joins her. Carolyn immediately becomes warm and
gracious.
BUDDY
Carolyn.
CAROLYN
Buddy.
Carolyn smiles, genuinely touched that he remembers her
name.
BUDDY
I'm so sorry I kept you waiting.
Christy left for New York this
morning, and... let's just say
things were very hectic around the
house.
CAROLYN
What's she doing in New York?
BUDDY
She's moving there.
(off Carolyn's look)
Yes. We are splitting up.
CAROLYN
Buddy. I'm so sorry.
BUDDY
(bitterly)
Yes, according to her, I'm too
focused on my career. As if being
driven to succeed is some sort of
character flaw. Well, she certainly
knew how to take advantage of the
lifestyle my success afforded her.
Oh. Wow.
(then, laughing)
Ah, it's for the best.
CAROLYN
When I saw you two at the party the
other night, you seemed perfectly
happy.
BUDDY
Well, call me crazy, but it is my
philosophy that in order to be
successful, one must project an
image of success, at all times.
He smiles, then opens his menu. Carolyn picks hers up
mechanically, but continues to stare at him, enraptured,
like a fervent Christian who's just come face to face with
Jesus.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL CAMPUS LATER THAT DAY
Ricky stands with his DIGICAM, videotaping something on the
ground at his feet.
On VIDEO: A DEAD BIRD lays on the ground, decomposing.
ANGELA (O.C.)
What are you doing?
On VIDEO: The camera JERKS up to discover Jane and Angela
staring at us.
RICKY (O.C.)
I was filming this dead bird.
ANGELA
Why?
RICKY (O.C.)
Because it's beautiful.
On VIDEO: Angela looks at Jane, trying not to laugh.
ANGELA
I think maybe you forgot your
medication today, mental boy.
On VIDEO: She falls out of frame as we ZOOM toward Jane.
RICKY (O.C.)
Hi, Jane.
JANE
(uncomfortable)
Look. I want you to stop filming me.
Ricky lowers the Digicam.
RICKY
Okay.
He looks at her, curious, his eyes searching hers. She
doesn't look away.
ANGELA
Well, whatever.
(to Jane)
This is boring. Let's go.
JANE
(to Ricky)
Do you need a ride?
ANGELA
(to Jane)
Are you crazy? I don't want to end
up hacked to pieces in a dumpster
somewhere.
RICKY
It's okay. I'll walk. But thanks.
ANGELA
Yeah, see? He doesn't want to go
anyway. C'mon, let's go.
Angela starts off, but Jane doesn't follow. Ricky smiles at
her. She almost smiles back, then:
JANE
(calls off to Angela)
I think I'm going to walk, too.
Angela stops and stares at her.
ANGELA
What? Jane, that's like, almost a
mile.
EXT. TOP HAT MOTEL LATER THAT DAY
Carolyn's Mercedes is parked next to a JAGUAR CONVERTIBLE
with a VANITY LICENSE PLATE that reads "R E KING."
INT. TOP HAT MOTEL CONTINUOUS
Carolyn and Buddy are in the middle of sex.
CAROLYN
Yes! Oh, God! I love it!
BUDDY
You like getting nailed by the king?
CAROLYN
Oh yes! I love it! Fuck me, your
majesty!
EXT. STREET LATER THAT DAY
Lester's TOYOTA CAMRY cruises through the streets. We hear
Lester SINGING along to "AMERICAN WOMAN" on the STEREO.
INT. TOYOTA CAMRY CONTINUOUS
Lester is driving, smoking a joint.
LESTER
AMERICAN WOMAN, STAY AWAY FROM ME...
AMERICAN WOMAN, MAMA LET ME BE...
DON'T COME A HANGIN' AROUND MY
DOOR... I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR
FACE NO MORE...
EXT. MR. SMILEY'S CONTINUOUS
Lester continues singing along to "AMERICAN WOMAN," as the
Camry pulls into the parking lot of a FAST FOOD RESTAURANT.
Lester pulls up to the drivethru speaker box.
DRIVETHRU GIRL (O.C.)
(over speaker box)
Smile you're at Mr. Smiley's.
Lester turns down the volume on the stereo.
LESTER
What?
DRIVETHRU GIRL (O.C.)
Would you like to try our new bacon
and egg fajita just a dollar twenty
nine for a limited time only.
LESTER
Uh... no. But thank you.
(reading menu)
I'll have a Big Barn Burger, Smiley
fries, and an orange soda.
DRIVETHRU GIRL (O.C.)
Please drive up to the window, thank
you.
He pulls the car around to the WINDOW, where a teenage GIRL
wearing a headset is waiting.
DRIVETHRU GIRL (CONT'D)
Smile, you're at Mr. Smiley's,
that'll be four eightynine, please.
Lester pays her. As she hands him his food, he notices a
SIGN in the corner of the window that reads:
NOW TAKING APPLICATIONS
COUNTER GIRL
Would you like some Smiley Sauce?
LESTER
No. No, actually... I'd like to fill
out an application.
She stares at him, confused by his age and attire.
COUNTER GIRL
There's not jobs for manager, it's
just for counter.
LESTER
Good. I'm looking for the least
possible amount of responsibility.
Ratings
Scene 24 - Job Doubts and Intimate Revelations
Lester sits at a booth with the MANAGER, a greasy kid
wearing a white short sleeve shirt and a tie covered with
the Mr. Smiley's logo. He looks over Lester's application,
baffled.
MANAGER
I don't think you'd fit in here.
LESTER
I have fast food experience.
MANAGER
Yeah, like twenty years ago.
LESTER
Well, I'm sure there have been
amazing technological advances in
the industry, but surely you have
some sort of training process. It
seems unfair to presume I won't be
able to learn.
The Manager sighs and runs a hand through his greasy hair,
wondering what he could possibly have done to deserve this.
INT. TOP HAT MOTEL LATER THAT DAY
Carolyn and Buddy are in bed, postsex.
CAROLYN
That was exactly what I needed. The
royal treatment, so to speak.
They laugh.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
I was so stressed out.
BUDDY
Know what I do when I feel like
that?
CAROLYN
What?
BUDDY
I fire a gun.
Carolyn sits up, eager to learn from the master.
CAROLYN
(intrigued)
Really.
BUDDY
Oh yeah, I go to this little firing
range downtown, and I just pop off a
few rounds.
CAROLYN
(embarrassed)
I've never fired a gun before.
BUDDY
Oh, you've gotta try it. Nothing
makes you feel more powerful.
(smiles seductively)
Well, almost nothing.
Carolyn is quick to pick up her cue and kisses him, ready
for another round.
Ratings
Scene 25 - Uneasy Reflections
Ricky and Jane walk along without speaking. He seems
comfortable with the silence; she doesn't. After a beat:
JANE
So how do you like your new house?
RICKY
I like it.
A beat.
JANE
The people who used to live there
fed these stray cats, so they were
always around, and it drove my
mother nuts. And then she cut down
their tree.
An automobile FUNERAL PROCESSION appears and begins to pass
them slowly.
RICKY
Have you ever known anybody who
died?
JANE
No.
(a beat)
Have you?
RICKY
No, but I did see this homeless
woman who froze to death once. Just
laying there on the sidewalk. She
looked really sad.
They watch the FUNERAL CARS pass.
RICKY (CONT'D)
I got that homeless woman on video.
JANE
Why would you film that?
RICKY
Because it was amazing.
JANE
What was amazing about it?
A beat.
RICKY
When you see something like that,
it's like God is looking right at
you, just for a second. And if
you're careful, you can look right
back.
JANE
And what do you see?
RICKY
Beauty.
INT. FITTS HOUSE KITCHEN MOMENTS LATER
Barbara Fitts sits at the kitchen table, staring off into
space as if hypnotized. Behind her, Ricky enters, followed
by Jane.
RICKY
Mom, I want you to meet somebody.
(no response)
Mom.
Barbara's eyes flutter and she turns to him slowly.
BARBARA
(pleasant)
Yes?
RICKY
I want you to meet somebody. This is
Jane.
JANE
Hi.
BARBARA
Oh, my. I apologize for the way
things look around here.
Jane glances around. The room is spotless.
INT. FITTS HOUSE THE COLONEL'S STUDY MOMENTS LATER
We HEAR KEYS TURNING in the lock, then the door opens and
Ricky enters, holding a RING OF KEYS, followed by Jane.
RICKY
This is where my dad hides out.
GLASS CASES filled with GUNS line the walls.
JANE
I take it he's got a thing for guns.
Ricky crosses to a builtin CABINET behind the desk.
RICKY
You got to see this one thing...
He unlocks the cabinet and opens it, revealing shelves
stacked with WAR MEMORABILIA.
RICKY (CONT'D)
My dad would kill me if he knew I
was in here.
JANE
Did you steal his keys?
RICKY
No. One of my clients is a
locksmith. He was short on cash one
night, so I let him pay me in trade.
He reaches into the cabinet and carefully removes an oval
CHINA PLATTER, which he hands to Jane. She examines it.
RICKY (CONT'D)
Turn it over.
CLOSE on the bottom of the plate: A small SWASTIKA is
imprinted in the center.
JANE
Oh my God.
RICKY
It's like official state china of
the Third Reich. There's a whole
subculture of people who collect
this Nazi shit. But my dad just has
this one thing.
He puts the platter back into the cabinet and shuts the
door, then notices Jane looking at him oddly.
RICKY (CONT'D)
What's wrong?
JANE
Nothing.
RICKY
(concerned)
No, you're scared of me.
JANE
No I'm not.
But she is. Ricky studies her.
RICKY
You want to see the most beautiful
thing I've ever filmed?
Ratings
Scene 26 - From Beauty to Chaos
On VIDEO: We're in an empty parking lot on a cold, gray day.
Something is floating across from us... it's an empty,
wrinkled, white PLASTIC BAG. We follow it as the wind
carries it in a circle around us, sometimes whipping it
about violently, or, without warning, sending it soaring
skyward, then letting it float gracefully down to the
ground...
Jane and Ricky sit on the bed, watching his WIDESCREEN TV.
RICKY
It was one of those days when it's a
minute away from snowing. And
there's this electricity in the air,
you can almost hear it, right? And
this bag was just... dancing with
me. Like a little kid begging me to
play with it. For fifteen minutes.
That's the day I realized that there
was this entire life behind things,
and this incredibly benevolent force
that wanted me to know there was no
reason to be afraid. Ever.
A beat.
RICKY (CONT'D)
Video's a poor excuse, I know. But
it helps me remember... I need to
remember...
Now Jane is watching him.
RICKY (CONT'D)
(distant)
Sometimes there's so much beauty in
the world I feel like I can't take
it... and my heart is going to cave
in.
After a moment, Jane takes his hand. Then she leans in and
kisses him softly on the lips. His eyes scan hers, curious
to see how she reacts to this...
JANE
(suddenly)
Oh my God. What time is it?
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE DINING ROOM MOMENTS LATER
Lester sits at the table in sloppy clothes, eating his
dinner voraciously and drinking beer from a bottle. Across
from him, Carolyn picks at her food, watching him with
contempt. EASYLISTENING MUSIC plays on the STEREO.
We HEAR the back door SLAM, then Jane enters and quickly
takes her seat at the table.
JANE
Sorry I'm late.
CAROLYN
(overly cheerful)
No, no, that's quite all right,
dear. Your father and I were just
discussing his day at work.
(to Lester)
Why don't you tell our daughter
about it, honey?
Jane stares at both her parents, apprehensive. Lester looks
at Carolyn darkly, then flashes a "youaskedforit" grin.
LESTER
Janie, today I quit my job. And then
I told my boss to fuck himself, and
then I blackmailed him for almost
sixty thousand dollars. Pass the
asparagus.
CAROLYN
Your father seems to think this kind
of behavior is something to be proud
of.
LESTER
And your mother seems to prefer I go
through life like a fucking prisoner
while she keeps my dick in a mason
jar under the sink.
CAROLYN
(ashen)
How dare you speak to me that way in
front of her? And I marvel that you
can be so contemptuous of me, on the
same day that you lose your job!
LESTER
Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not
like, "Oops, where'd my job go?" I
quit. Someone pass me the asparagus.
CAROLYN
Oh! Oh! And I want to thank you for
putting me under the added pressure
of being the sole breadwinner now
LESTER
I already have a job.
CAROLYN
(not stopping)
No, no, don't give a second thought
as to who's going to pay the
mortgage. We'll just leave it all up
to Carolyn. You mean, you're going
to take care of everything now,
Carolyn? Yes. I don't mind. I really
don't. You mean, everything? You
don't mind having the sole
responsibility, your husband feels
he can just quit his job
LESTER
(overlapping)
Will someone pass me the fucking
asparagus?
JANE
(rises)
Okay, I'm not going to be a part of
this
LESTER
(means it)
Sit down.
Jane does so, surprised and intimidated by the power in his
voice. Lester gets up, crosses to the other side of the
table to get a PLATE OF ASPARAGUS, then sits again as he
serves himself.
LESTER (CONT'D)
I'm sick and tired of being treated
like I don't exist. You two do
whatever you want to do whenever you
want to do it and I don't complain.
All I want is the same courtesy
CAROLYN
(overlapping)
Oh, you don't complain? Oh, excuse
me. Excuse me. I must be psychotic
then, if you don't complain. What is
this?! Am I locked away in a padded
cell somewhere, hallucinating?
That's the only explanation I can
think of
Lester hurls the plate of asparagus against the wall with
such force it SHATTERS, frightening Carolyn and Jane.
LESTER
(casual)
Don't interrupt me, honey.
He goes back to eating his meal, as if nothing unusual has
happened. Carolyn sits in her chair, shivering with rage.
Jane just stares at the plate in front of her.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Oh, and another thing. From now on,
we're going to alternate our dinner
music. Because frankly, and I don't
think I'm alone here, I'm really
tired of this Lawrence Welk shit.
Ratings
Scene 27 - Tensions Unveiled
Jane is sitting on her bed. There is a KNOCK at the door.
JANE
Go. Away.
CAROLYN (O.C.)
Honey, please let me in.
Jane rolls her eyes, crosses to the door and lets Carolyn
in.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
I wish that you hadn't witnessed
that awful scene tonight. But in a
way, I'm glad.
JANE
Why, so I could see what freaks you
and Dad really are?
CAROLYN
Me?
She stares at Jane, then starts to cry.
JANE
Aw, Christ, Mom.
CAROLYN
(tearful)
No, I'm glad because you're old
enough now to learn the most
important lesson in life: you cannot
count on anyone except yourself.
(sighs)
You cannot count on anyone except
yourself. It's sad, but true, and
the sooner you learn it, the better.
JANE
Look, Mom, I really don't feel like
having a Kodak moment here, okay?
Carolyn suddenly SLAPS Jane, hard.
CAROLYN
You ungrateful little brat. Just
look at everything you have. When I
was your age, I lived in a duplex.
We didn't even have our own house.
Embarrassed, she quickly leaves. Jane looks in a mirror and
rubs her cheek, then crosses to the window and looks out.
EXT. FITTS HOUSE CONTINUOUS
Jane's POV: We're across from Ricky's room, looking in. He
stands at the window with his DIGICAM, videotaping us. On
the WIDESCREEN TV behind him, we see Jane standing in her
window as she looks across at him. She waves. Ricky just
keeps videotaping. A beat, then she starts to take off her
shirt.
INT. FITTS HOUSE RICKY'S BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
We're behind Ricky as he videotapes Jane in her window. She
has now removed her shirt. She stands there in her bra, then
reaches behind her back to unhook the bra.
On VIDEO: We ZOOM toward her as she takes off her bra
clumsily. She's obviously embarrassed, but she's gone this
far and there's no turning back. She stands there with her
breasts exposed, trying to look defiant, but she's achingly
vulnerable...
Suddenly, the door is thrown open and the Colonel enters,
incensed. Startled, Ricky turns around. As soon as his eyes
meet his father's, he knows what's up.
COLONEL
You little bastard
Ricky scrambles to dodge his father, but the Colonel is too
fast; he punches Ricky in the face, knocking him to the
floor.
COLONEL (CONT'D)
How did you get in there?
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE CONTINUOUS
From her window, Jane watches, pulling the drapes in front
of her.
EXT. FITTS HOUSE CONTINUOUS
Jane's POV: In the WINDOW across from us, the Colonel
proceeds to give Ricky a serious beating, punching his face.
INT. FITTS HOUSE RICKY'S BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
Ricky's lip is bleeding, but he maintains a steady gaze at
his father during this violence.
COLONEL
(unnerved)
How!? How?! C'mon, get up! Fight
back, you little pussy!
RICKY
No, sir. I won't fight you.
The Colonel grabs him by the collar.
COLONEL
How did you get in there?
RICKY
I picked the lock, sir.
COLONEL
What were you looking for? Money?
Are you on dope again?
RICKY
No, sir. I wanted to show my
girlfriend your Nazi plate.
A beat.
COLONEL
Girlfriend?
RICKY
Yes, sir. She lives next door.
The Colonel glances toward the window.
His POV: In the WINDOW across from us, Jane peeks out from
behind the drape. She quickly pulls it shut.
RICKY (CONT'D)
Her name's Jane.
A beat. The Colonel is suddenly, deeply shamed.
COLONEL
This is for your own good, boy. You
have no respect for other people's
things, for authority, for...
RICKY
Sir, I'm sorry.
COLONEL
You can't just go around doing
whatever you feel like, you can't
there are rules in life
RICKY
Yes, sir.
COLONEL
You need structure, you need
discipline
RICKY
(simultaneous)
Discipline. Yes, sir, thank you for
trying to teach me. Don't give up on
me, Dad.
The Colonel stands, still breathing heavily. Tenderness
fills his face, and he reaches out to touch Ricky's cheek.
COLONEL
Oh, Ricky...
But something keeps him from doing it.
COLONEL (CONT'D)
You stay out of there.
He leaves. Ricky gets up and goes to his bureau. He looks at
his reflection in the mirror, calmly takes a cloth and
starts to wipe the blood from his face.
FADE TO BLACK.
In darkness, we HEAR repetitive GUNSHOTS.
FADE IN:
Ratings
Scene 28 - Fractured Connections
Carolyn, wearing PROTECTIVE HEADGEAR, is holding a GLOCK 19
AUTOMATIC REVOLVER with both hands, FIRING it directly at
us.
She empties a round and stands there, exhilarated. An
ATTENDANT approaches with a new round of ammunition.
ATTENDANT
(loading gun)
I gotta say, Mrs. Burnham, when you
first came here I thought you would
be hopeless. But you're a natural.
CAROLYN
Well, all I know is... I love
shooting this gun!
And she starts FIRING again.
INT. MERCEDESBENZ ML320 LATER
Bobby Darin sings "DON'T RAIN ON MY PARADE" on the RADIO.
Carolyn SINGS along as she drives. Her face has lost its
usual resolute determination; she's actually enjoying
herself spontaneously, and the lack of her usual self
consciousness allows us to see just how beautiful she is.
ANGLE ON the GLOCK 19 sitting on the passenger seat amidst
some CDs.
Carolyn takes the gun and holds it at arm's length, admiring
it as she continues to SING.
EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL CONTINUOUS
The Mercedes turns onto Robin Hood Trail.
INT. MERCEDESBENZ ML320 CONTINUOUS
Carolyn's POV: We turn into the Burnham driveway. A 1970
PONTIAC FIREBIRD with racing stripes blocks our access to
the garage.
CLOSE on Carolyn: She doesn't like having things in her way.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE FAMILY ROOM MOMENTS LATER
Lester's REMOTECONTROLLED MODEL JEEP is zooming across the
floor of the family room, expertly maneuvering corners and
narrowly avoiding crashing.
Lester is sprawled on the couch in his underwear, drinking a
BEER and controlling the car. His working out is beginning
to produce results. The room, too, seems changed: sloppier,
more lived in.
Carolyn enters through the kitchen, flushed and angry. She
just stands there, staring at Lester. After a moment, he
looks up at her.
LESTER
What?
CAROLYN
Ah, whose car is that out front?
LESTER
Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car
I always wanted and now I have it. I
rule!
CAROLYN
Where's the Camry?
LESTER
I traded it in.
CAROLYN
Shouldn't you have consulted me
first?
LESTER
Hmm, let me think... No. You never
drove it.
(then)
Have you done something different?
You look great.
CAROLYN
(brusque)
Where's Jane?
LESTER
Jane not home. We have the whole
house to ourselves.
He smiles at her playfully. She stares back, annoyed. It's
the same look she had at the beginning, when he dropped his
briefcase, but whatever power that look had is gone. Lester
just LAUGHS.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Christ, Carolyn. When did you become
so... joyless?
CAROLYN
(taken aback)
Joyless?! I am not joyless! There
happens to be a lot about me that
you don't know, mister smarty man.
There is plenty of joy in my life.
LESTER
(leaning toward her)
Whatever happened to that girl who
used to fake seizures at frat
parties when she got bored? And who
used to run up to the roof of our
first apartment building to flash
the traffic helicopters? Have you
totally forgotten about her? Because
I haven't.
His face is close to hers, and suddenly the atmosphere is
charged. She pulls back automatically, but it's clear she's
drawn to him. He smiles, and moves even closer, holding his
beer loosely balanced. Then, just before their lips meet...
CAROLYN
(barely audible)
Lester. You're going to spill beer
on the couch.
She's immediately sorry she said it, but it's too late. His
smile fades, and the moment is gone.
LESTER
So what? It's just a couch.
CAROLYN
This is a four thousand dollar sofa
upholstered in Italian silk. This is
not "just a couch."
LESTER
It's just a couch!
He stands and gestures toward all the things in the room.
LESTER (CONT'D)
This isn't life. This is just stuff.
And it's become more important to
you than living. Well, honey, that's
just nuts.
Carolyn stares at him, on the verge of tears, then turns and
walks out of the room before he can see her cry.
LESTER (CONT'D)
(calls after her)
I'm only trying to help you.
Ratings
Scene 29 - Shared Shadows
On VIDEO: Jane lays in Ricky's bed, wearing a tank top. She
glances at us.
JANE
(shy)
Don't.
We're watching the WIDESCREEN TV in Ricky's room.
A CORD leads from the TV to Ricky's DIGICAM. Ricky holds the
camera, sitting naked in a chair. It's been almost a month
since his father beat him up, and there are still slight
SCARS on his face. He's aiming his camera at Jane.
RICKY
Why?
JANE
(re: image on TV)
It's weird, watching myself. I don't
like how I look.
RICKY
I can't believe you don't know how
beautiful you are.
JANE
I'm not going to sit here for that
shit.
She gets out of bed, takes his Digicam and focuses it on
him. We see his image on the TV as she videotapes.
JANE (CONT'D)
Ha. How does it feel now?
RICKY
Fine.
JANE
You don't feel naked?
RICKY
I am naked.
JANE
You know what I mean.
Jane ZOOMS in on his face, which remains placid.
JANE (CONT'D)
Tell me about being in the hospital.
Ricky smiles.
RICKY
When I was fifteen, my dad caught me
smoking dope. He totally freaked and
decided to send me to military
school. I told you his whole thing
about structure and discipline,
right?
(laughs)
Well, of course, I got kicked out.
Dad and I had this huge fight, and
he hit me... and then the next day
at school, some kid made a crack
about my haircut, and... I just
snapped. I wanted to kill him. And I
would have. Killed him. If they
hadn't pulled me off.
(then)
That's when my dad put me in the
hospital. Then they drugged me up
and left me in there for two years.
JANE
Wow. You must really hate him.
RICKY
He's not a bad man.
He grabs a halfsmoked JOINT from an ashtray and lights it.
JANE
Well... you better believe I'd hate
my father if he did something like
that to me.
(laughs)
Wait. I do hate my father.
RICKY
Why?
He passes her the joint, then takes the Digicam and focuses
it on her. We see her image on the TV as he videotapes.
JANE
He's a total asshole and he's got
this crush on my friend Angela and
it's disgusting.
RICKY
You'd rather he had the crush on
you?
JANE
Gross, no! But it'd be nice if I was
anywhere near as important to him as
she is.
(then)
I know you think my dad's harmless,
but you're wrong. He's doing massive
psychological damage to me.
RICKY
How?
Jane looks into the camera, a loopy, stoned grin on her
face.
JANE
Well, now, I too need structure. A
little fucking discipline.
They LAUGH. She lays back on the bed.
JANE (CONT'D)
I'm serious, though. How could he
not be damaging me? I need a father
who's a role model, not some horny
geekboy who's gonna spray his
shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend
home from school.
(snorts)
What a lameo. Somebody really
should put him out of his misery.
Her mind wanders for a beat.
RICKY
Want me to kill him for you?
Jane looks at him and sits up.
JANE
Yeah, would you?
RICKY
(smiles)
It'll cost you.
JANE
Well, I've been babysitting since I
was about ten. I've got almost three
thousand dollars. 'Course, I was
saving it up for a boob job.
She stands and sticks out her breasts, then falls back on
the bed, LAUGHING.
JANE (CONT'D)
But my tits can wait, huh?
RICKY
You know, that's not a very nice
thing to do, hiring somebody to kill
your dad.
JANE
Well, I guess I'm just not a very
nice girl, then, am I?
She smiles dreamily at him. He turns the Digicam off and the
TV screen goes BLUE. He lowers the camera and looks at her
intently.
JANE (CONT'D)
(suddenly nervous)
You know I'm not serious, right?
RICKY
Of course.
He puts the Digicam down and joins Jane on the bed. A long
moment where neither of them speaks. He caresses her hair,
gazing into her eyes.
RICKY (CONT'D)
Do you know how lucky we are to have
found each other?
FADE TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
Ratings
Scene 30 - Tensions at the Breakfast Table
We're FLYING above Robin Hood Trail. We see the BURNHAM'S
HOUSE below us as we APPROACH it steadily.
LESTER
Remember those posters that said,
"Today is the first day of the rest
of your life?" Well, that's true of
every day except one.
(a beat)
The day you die.
We're almost on top of the Burnham house now, as Lester,
wearing sweatpants and running shoes, bursts out of the
front door and dashes up the driveway.
EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL A SHORT TIME LATER
We're now at street level, as Lester runs toward us. He
carries a WALKMAN and wears EARPHONES, and we HEAR ROCK
MUSIC as he runs. The endorphins have kicked in, and Lester
grins, reveling in the sheer physical pleasure of his body.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE KITCHEN A SHORT TIME LATER
The blender GRINDS as Lester, still in his sweatpants, makes
himself a highprotein shake. He's in excellent shape; even
his posture has changed, and he moves with the confident,
easy swagger of an athlete. Jane watches him blankly from
the kitchen table.
Carolyn enters. Lester leans against the counter, drinking
his shake directly from the blender pitcher, eyeing her.
He's got a newfound sexual energy that makes her
uncomfortable, and he knows it. Carolyn quickly rinses off
her coffee cup, avoiding his eyes, and starts out.
CAROLYN
Jane, hurry up. I've got a very
important appointment
JANE
Mom, is it okay if Angela sleeps
over tonight?
Jane looks at Lester to see how he reacts. He doesn't.
CAROLYN
Well, of course, she's always
welcome.
(on her way out)
You know, I thought maybe you two
had a fight. I haven't seen her
around here in a while.
And she's gone. Jane continues staring at her father.
Finally, he glances over at her.
LESTER
What?
JANE
(nervous)
I've been too embarrassed to bring
her over. Because of you, and the
way that you behave.
LESTER
What are you talking about? I've
barely even spoken to her.
JANE
(angry)
Dad! You stare at her all the time,
like you're drunk! It's disgusting!
LESTER
(angry himself)
You better watch yourself, Janie, or
you're going to turn into a real
bitch, just like your mother.
Jane is stunned. She quickly rises, trying to get out of the
kitchen before she starts crying.
ANGLE on Lester, and the immediate regret in his eyes.
LESTER (CONT'D)
(under his breath)
Fuck.
Ratings
Scene 31 - A Disturbing Discovery
We're outside Ricky's room, MOVING slowly toward the open
door, through which we can see Ricky, standing at his bureau
mirror, combing his hair. The scars on his face are almost
gone now.
A REVERSE ANGLE reveals the Colonel standing outside the
door looking in, watching Ricky with great tenderness. Then
Ricky looks up at him, and the Colonel is suddenly self
conscious.
COLONEL
(brusque)
You ready to go?
RICKY
Oh, I don't need a ride. I'm going
to go in with Jane and her mom.
EXT. FITTS HOUSE FRONT PORCH MOMENTS LATER
Ricky emerges from the house, followed by the Colonel, who
watches his son as he heads toward the Burnham house.
His POV: Carolyn waves from the Mercedes, flashing an
insincere smile. Jane leans forward from the passenger seat
and glares at us. As Ricky starts to get in the car, Lester
emerges from the house in his sweatpants.
LESTER
Yo, Ricky. How's it going?
RICKY
Pretty decent, Mr. Burnham.
Ricky pulls his door shut, but not before Lester mouths
"call me" and Ricky gives a slight nod in acknowledgment.
CLOSE on the Colonel's face: he looks confused.
As the Mercedes backs out of the driveway, Lester glances
over at him.
Lester's POV: The Colonel watches the car driving off, then
looks at us. His face tightens.
LESTER studies him for a moment, then grins and salutes
before going inside the house.
CLOSE on the Colonel, deeply troubled.
INT. FITTS HOUSE RICKY'S ROOM MOMENTS LATER
The door swings open silently and the Colonel enters. He
starts going through Ricky's bureau. He opens the DRAWER in
which we know Ricky keeps his marijuana, but he doesn't
discover its false bottom. He stands and looks around, his
eyes finally landing on:
The DIGICAM and a stack of CASSETTES on a shelf. The camera
is still connected to the TV.
The Colonel turns on the TV, examines the Digicam and
presses "play." The TV's blank screen suddenly gives way
to...
On VIDEO: Barbara Fitts sits at the kitchen table, staring
off into space.
The Colonel watches, at first baffled, then impatient. He
takes the cassette out of the Digicam and inserts another.
On the TV screen we see...
On VIDEO: Through the Burnham's GARAGE WINDOW, we see Lester
step out of his pants and briefs. Then, naked except for his
black socks, he grabs the dumbbells and starts lifting them,
watching his reflection in the window as he does...
The Colonel sinks slowly onto Ricky's bed, mesmerized.
INT. MR. SMILEY'S LATER
Lester, wearing a Mr. Smiley's uniform, is happily flipping
burgers on a grill.
COWORKER
Hey Lester, I need that Super Smiley
with cheese, A.S.A.P.
LESTER
You need more than that, my little
hombre.
Lester looks up suddenly when he HEARS:
CAROLYN (O.S.)
(over speakers)
What's good here?
BUDDY (O.C.)
(over speakers)
Nothing.
CAROLYN (O.C.)
(over speakers)
Then I guess we'll just have to be
bad, won't we?
(then)
I think I'll have a double Smiley
Sandwich and curly fries, and a
vanilla shake.
BUDDY (O.C.)
(over speakers)
Make that two.
COUNTER GIRL (O.C.)
(over speakers)
Please drive around thank you.
Lester's face darkens, then... he smiles. He puts his
spatula down.
Ratings
Scene 32 - Drive-Thru Confrontation
The Mercedes pulls around to the DRIVETHRU WINDOW. Carolyn
drives; Buddy sits beside her.
CAROLYN
I think we deserve a little junk
food, after the workout we had this
morning.
BUDDY
(nuzzles her neck)
I'm flattered.
They are too involved with each other to notice Lester
watching them from the drivethru window.
LESTER
(overly cheerful)
Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's!
Carolyn almost jumps out of her skin.
Lester leans out of the drivethru window, grinning at her,
holding bags filled with fast food. The Counter Girl stands
next to him, staring blankly.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Would you like to try our new beef
and cheese pot pie on a stick, just
a dollar ninetynine for a limited
time only?
Carolyn struggles to appear nonchalant.
CAROLYN
(re: Buddy)
We were just at a seminar.
(then, all business)
Buddy, this is my
LESTER
Her husband. We've met before, but
something tells me you're going to
remember me this time.
COUNTER GIRL
(to Carolyn)
Whoa. You are so busted.
CAROLYN
(flustered)
You know, this really doesn't
concern you.
LESTER
Actually, Janeane is senior drive
thru manager, so you kind of are on
her turf.
(to Carolyn, quietly)
So. This makes sense.
CAROLYN
(miserable)
Oh, Lester
LESTER
Honey, it's okay. I want you to be
happy.
(then)
Would you like Smiley Sauce with
that?
CAROLYN
Lester, just stop it!
LESTER
Uhuh. You don't get to tell me what
to do. Ever again.
Carolyn closes her eyes, defeated, then grabs the wheel,
shifts gears and drives off.
Ratings
Scene 33 - Emotional Turmoil at the Top Hat Motel
The sky is filled with ominous gray clouds. Wind whips
garbage across the parking lot as Carolyn's Mercedes pulls
in next to Buddy's Jaguar.
INT. MERCEDESBENZ ML320 CONTINUOUS
Carolyn grips the wheel tightly, staring straight ahead.
Buddy looks at her unhappily.
BUDDY
I'm sorry. I guess we should cool it
for a while. I'm facing a
potentially very expensive divorce.
CAROLYN
Oh, no. I understand completely.
(sarcastic)
In order to be successful, one must
project an image of success. At all
times.
She regrets it the second it's out of her mouth, and turns
to him. He just looks at her sadly, then gets out of the car
and shuts the door. She starts to CRY. As before, she SLAPS
herself, hard.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
Stop it. Stop it!
She closes her eyes tight, trying to stop the tears, then
suddenly SCREAMS as loud as she can.
EXT. TOP HAT MOTEL CONTINUOUS
Buddy's Jaguar speeds off, leaving the Mercedes alone in the
parking lot. We can still HEAR Carolyn's muffled SCREAMING.
There is a sound of distant THUNDER.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE GARAGE THAT NIGHT
It's RAINING outside. We HEAR ROCK MUSIC as Lester pumps
iron. He puts the weights down and looks at his REFLECTION
in the window:
His POV: His arms are pumped. He smiles.
He reaches under the bench and grabs a CIGAR BOX. Opening
it, he digs through MARIJUANA PARAPHERNALIA, only to pull
out an empty ZIPLOC BAG.
LESTER
Shit.
INT. FITTS HOUSE KITCHEN MOMENTS LATER
Ricky and the Colonel sit at the table, eating in silence.
Barbara rinses off a pan at the sink, then stares at it as
if she can't quite remember what she meant to do with it. We
suddenly HEAR a BEEPING noise. Ricky pulls his BEEPER off
his belt and checks it.
RICKY
(getting up)
I have to run next door. Jane left
her geometry book in my bag and she
needs it to do her homework.
He heads into the hall. The Colonel watches him go, uneasy.
INT. ANGELA'S BMW CONTINUOUS
Angela drives, squinting through the windshield as the
wipers move back and forth.
ANGELA
So you and psycho boy are fucking on
like, a regular basis now, right?
JANE
(irritable)
No.
ANGELA
Oh, come on. You can tell me. Does
he have a big dick?
JANE
Look, I'm not gonna talk about his
dick with you, okay? It's not like
that.
ANGELA
Not like what? Doesn't he have one?
(then)
Why don't you want to talk about it?
I mean, I tell you every single
detail about every guy that I fuck.
JANE
Yeah, and maybe you shouldn't, all
right? Maybe I don't really want to
hear all that.
ANGELA
Oh, so now that you have a
boyfriend, you're like, above it?
(rolls her eyes)
We gotta get you a real man.
Ratings
Scene 34 - Misunderstandings and Awkward Flirtations
The Colonel rinses off his plate at the sink. Something
outside catches his eye, and he cranes his neck to get a
better look at...
His POV: Through the window over the sink, we can see into
the Burnham's GARAGE WINDOW. Our view is blurred by the
RAIN, but we see Lester, his upper body pumped and
glistening in sweat as he counts out a wad of BILLS... and
then Ricky walks into view.
The Colonel's face tightens.
His POV: Lester drapes his arm around Ricky as he gives him
the money. We can only see Lester from the waist up, so he
looks naked.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE GARAGE CONTINUOUS
Ricky, his hair wet from the rain, puts the cash in his
pocket. Lester's arm remains draped around his shoulder.
RICKY
(grins)
You got any papers?
LESTER
Yeah, in the cigar box, right over
there.
(laughs)
You know, put up a fight, dude! You
are such a pushover. "No I can't.
Really. Okay."
And he slaps Ricky playfully on the chest. Ricky grins, then
squats down and reaches under the weight bench.
RICKY
You should learn to roll a joint.
Lester sits in the bowl chair and leans back, his hands
behind his head, watching Ricky roll the joint.
INT. FITTS HOUSE KITCHEN CONTINUOUS
The Colonel's POV: Lester leans back in his chair. We see
only Ricky's back and shoulders as he rolls the joint. After
a beat, Lester's jaw drops, then he throws his head back.
From our perspective, it looks very much like Ricky is
giving Lester a blow job.
The Colonel watches, incredulous. Then we HEAR a CAR
APPROACHING, and the Colonel glances over at:
His POV: Angela's BMW pulls into the driveway, stopping
behind Lester's Firebird. As Angela and Jane get out and run
toward the house, our focus MOVES back to the GARAGE WINDOW.
Ricky stands, looking a little panicked. Lester pulls on his
Tshirt, and both he and Ricky cross out of view.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE KITCHEN MOMENTS LATER
Lester leans nonchalantly against the counter. Jane and
Angela enter. Jane frowns when she sees him.
LESTER
Oh. Hi.
JANE
Where's Mom?
LESTER
Don't know.
ANGELA
Hi, Mr. Burnham.
LESTER
Hi.
He's trying to remain cool, and doing a pretty good job.
ANGELA
Wow. Look at you. Have you been
working out?
LESTER
Some.
Jane rolls her eyes and exits. Angela walks over to Lester.
ANGELA
You can really tell. Look at those
arms.
She places her hand on his arm flirtatiously, looks up at
him and smiles, fully expecting to intimidate him by doing
so.
But something has changed, and he isn't intimidated at all.
He looks directly back at her, leans in and smiles slowly.
LESTER
You like muscles?
His voice is low and intense. She moves away, suddenly
insecure.
ANGELA
II should probably go see what
Jane's up to.
And she heads out quickly. Lester watches her go, baffled.
Ratings
Scene 35 - Defiance in the Rain
Ricky enters, wet from the pouring rain, and crosses to his
bureau, pulling the wad of CASH out of his pocket as he
goes.
COLONEL (O.C.)
Where'd you get that?
Ricky turns, startled.
His POV: The Colonel steps out of the shadows.
Ricky takes a step back.
RICKY
From my job.
COLONEL
Don't lie to me.
(beat)
I saw you with him.
RICKY
(incredulous)
You were watching me?
COLONEL
What did he make you do?
RICKY
(laughs)
Dad, you don't really think... me
and Mr. Burnham?
COLONEL
(furious)
Don't you laugh at me!
(then)
I will not sit back and watch my
only son become a cocksucker!
RICKY
Jesus, what is with you
The Colonel BACKHANDS Ricky so hard it sends the boy
sprawling.
COLONEL
I swear to God, I will throw you out
of this house and never look at you
again.
RICKY
(taken aback)
You mean that?
COLONEL
Damn straight I do. I'd rather you
were dead than be a fucking faggot.
A beat. Ricky suddenly smiles. He gets up.
RICKY
You're right. I suck dick for money.
COLONEL
Boy
RICKY
Two thousand dollars. I'm that good.
COLONEL
Get out.
RICKY
And you should see me fuck. I'm the
best piece of ass in three states.
COLONEL
(explodes)
Get out!! I don't ever want to see
you again!!
Ricky eyes the Colonel. He's finally discovered a way to
break free from his father, and he can't believe it was this
simple.
RICKY
What a sad old man you are.
COLONEL
(a whisper)
Get out.
Ricky grabs his backpack, turns and walks out the door,
leaving the Colonel standing there, glassyeyed and
breathing heavily.
Ratings
Scene 36 - Tensions and Departures
Ricky enters to discover Barbara standing in the middle of
the room, clutching a dish, frightened. She's obviously
heard his argument with his father, and she looks into his
eyes, searching, aware that something eventful is taking
place.
RICKY
Mom, I'm leaving.
A beat.
BARBARA
Okay, wear a raincoat.
RICKY
(hugs her)
I wish things would have been better
for you. Take care of Dad.
He kisses her cheek softly, then exits out the back door,
leaving her standing alone, still clutching her dish.
INT. FITTS HOUSE RICKY'S BEDROOM CONTINUOUS
The Colonel's POV: Below us, Ricky dashes through the rain
to the Burnham's front door and knocks. Lester opens it and
lets him in.
EXT. FITTS HOUSE CONTINUOUS
The Colonel looks coldly down at us from Ricky's bedroom
window, and then he pulls the drapes shut.
EXT. FREEWAY CONTINUOUS
The MERCEDESBENZ ML320 is parked in the breakdown lane, its
HAZARD LIGHTS BLINKING. Cars ZOOM past in the rain.
INT. MERCEDESBENZ ML320 CONTINUOUS
Carolyn sits behind the wheel, listening to a MOTIVATIONAL
TAPE on the STEREO.
TAPE VOICE
disinvesting problems of their
power, and removing their ability to
make us afraid. This is the secret
to "mecentered" living. Only by
taking full responsibility for your
problemsand their solutionswill
you ever be able to break free from
the constant cycle of victimhood.
Carolyn leans over and open the glove compartment. She takes
out her GLOCK 19.
TAPE VOICE (CONT'D)
Remember, you are only a victim if
you choose to be a victim...
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE JANE'S ROOM CONTINUOUS
Angela is sprawled across the bed. Jane stands across the
room from her.
JANE
I don't think we could be friends
anymore.
ANGELA
You are way too uptight about sex.
JANE
Just don't fuck my dad, all right?
Please?
ANGELA
Why not?
There is a KNOCK on the door. Jane sits up, alarmed.
JANE
(angry)
Dad! Leave us alone!
RICKY (O.C.)
It's me.
Jane jumps up and opens the door and lets him in.
RICKY (CONT'D)
(to Jane)
If I had to leave tonight, would you
come with me?
JANE
What?
RICKY
If I had to go to New York. To live.
Tonight. Would you come with me?
JANE
Yes.
ANGELA
You guys can't be serious.
(to Jane)
You're just a kid. And he's like, a
mental case. You'll end up living in
a box on the street.
JANE
I'm no more a kid than you are!
( to Ricky)
We can use my plastic surgery money.
RICKY
We won't have to. I have over forty
thousand dollars. And I know people
in the city who can help us get set
up.
ANGELA
What, other drug dealers?
RICKY
Yes.
ANGELA
Jane, you'd be out of your mind to
go with him.
JANE
Why do you even care?
ANGELA
Because you're my friend!
RICKY
She's not your friend. She's
somebody you use to feel better
about yourself.
ANGELA
Go fuck yourself, psycho!
JANE
You shut up, bitch!
ANGELA
Jane! He is a freak!
JANE
Well, then so am I! And we'll always
be freaks and we'll never be like
other people. And you'll never be a
freak because you're just too
perfect.
ANGELA
Oh, yeah? Well, at least I'm not
ugly.
RICKY
Yes, you are. And you're boring. And
you're totally ordinary. And you
know it.
Angela stares at him, stunned, then starts toward the door.
ANGELA
You two deserve each other.
And she exits, SLAMMING the door behind her. Jane turns to
Ricky and he takes her in his arms.
Ratings
Scene 37 - Rain-soaked Vulnerability
Angela sits on the stairs, shaken, crying.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE GARAGE CONTINUOUS
We're MOVING SLOWLY toward the Burnham's GARAGE WINDOW
through the RAIN. Through the window, we see Lester, wearing
only his sweatpants, performing bench presses.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE GARAGE CONTINUOUS
Through the window, we see the Colonel standing outside,
watching. We ZOOM slowly in on him as he watches,
transfixed.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE GARAGE CONTINUOUS
His POV: Lester finishes his last rep, then racks the
weights and sits up, sweaty and out of breath. He runs his
free hand over his chest... and then he glances at us,
suddenly aware he's being watched.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE GARAGE CONTINUOUS
Lester and the Colonel stare at each other through the
window.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE GARAGE MOMENTS LATER
The RAIN is coming down in sheets now, and there is a sharp
CLAP of THUNDER. We're directly outside the GARAGE DOOR as
it slowly lifts to reveal Lester smiling at us.
LESTER
Jesus, man. You're soaked.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE GARAGE CONTINUOUS
Lester pulls the Colonel inside. The Colonel moves stiffly
and seems preoccupied, slightly disoriented.
LESTER
You want me to get Ricky? He's in
Jane's room.
The Colonel just stands there, looking at Lester.
LESTER (CONT'D)
You okay?
COLONEL
(his voice thick)
Where's your wife?
LESTER
Uh... I don't know. Probably out
fucking that dorky prince of real
estate asshole. And you know what? I
don't care.
The Colonel moves closer towards him.
COLONEL
Your wife is with another man and
you don't care?
LESTER
Nope, our marriage is just for show.
A commercial, for how normal we are.
When we are anything but.
He grins... and so does the Colonel.
LESTER (CONT'D)
You're shaking.
He places his hand on the Colonel's shoulder. The Colonel
closes his eyes.
LESTER (CONT'D)
We really should get you out of
these clothes.
COLONEL
(a whisper)
Yes...
He opens his eyes and looks at Lester, his face filled with
an anguished vulnerability we wouldn't have thought possible
from him. His eyes are brimming with tears. Lester leans in,
concerned.
LESTER
It's okay.
COLONEL
(hoarse)
I...
LESTER
(softly)
Just tell me what you need.
The Colonel reaches up and places his hand on Lester's
cheek... and then kisses him. Lester is momentarily stunned,
and then he pushes the Colonel away. The Colonel's face
crumples in shame.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm sorry. You got
the wrong idea.
The Colonel stares at the floor, blinking, and then he turns
and runs out the open garage door into the rainy night.
Ratings
Scene 38 - Crossing Boundaries
Carolyn is still listening to the same MOTIVATIONAL TAPE.
She holds the GLOCK in her hand.
TAPE VOICE
"I refuse to be a victim." When this
becomes your mantra, constantly
running through your head
Carolyn switches the TAPE OFF and puts the gun in her purse.
CAROLYN
I refuse to be a victim.
EXT. FREEWAY CONTINUOUS
The Mercedes pulls away from the shoulder.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE KITCHEN CONTINUOUS
Lester enters, opens the refrigerator and grabs a BEER.
Suddenly we HEAR MUSIC coming from the other room. Lester
opens his beer and starts toward the family room.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE FAMILY ROOM CONTINUOUS
His POV: AS we MOVE SLOWLY around a corner, Angela comes
into view, standing at the STEREO, holding a CD case. She's
been crying; her face is puffy, and her hair mussed. She
regards us apprehensively... then puts on a slightly defiant
smile.
ANGELA
I hope you don't mind if I play the
stereo.
Lester leans against the wall and takes a swig of his beer.
LESTER
Not at all.
(then)
Bad night?
ANGELA
Not really bad, just... strange.
LESTER
(grins)
Believe me. It couldn't possibly be
any stranger than mine.
She smiles. They stand there in silence; the atmosphere is
charged.
ANGELA
Jane and I had a fight.
(after a beat)
It was about you.
She's trying to be seductive as she says this, but she's
pretty bad at it. Lester raises his eyebrows.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
She's mad at me because I said I
think you're sexy.
Lester grins. He is sexy.
LESTER
(offering beer)
Do you want a sip?
She nods. Lester holds the bottle up to her mouth and she
drinks clumsily. He gently wipes her chin with the back of
his hand.
LESTER (CONT'D)
So... are you going to tell me? What
you want?
ANGELA
I don't know.
LESTER
You don't know?
His face is very close to hers. She's unnervedthis is
happening too fast...
ANGELA
What do you want?
LESTER
Are you kidding? I want you. I've
wanted you since the first moment I
saw you. You are the most beautiful
thing I have ever seen.
Angela takes a deep breath just before Lester leans in to
kiss her cheek, her forehead, her eyelids, her neck...
ANGELA
You don't think I'm ordinary?
LESTER
You couldn't be ordinary if you
tried.
ANGELA
Thank you.
(far away)
I don't think there's anything worse
than being ordinary...
And Lester kisses her on the lips.
Ratings
Scene 39 - Confrontation of Desires
Carolyn drives, her face resolute.
CAROLYN
I refuse to be a victim. I refuse to
be a victim. I refuse to be a
victim...
(angry)
Lester, I have something I have to
say to you...
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE FAMILY ROOM MOMENTS LATER
Angela lays back on the couch as Lester moves in over her.
He pulls her jeans off and gently brushes his fingers over
her legs, then moves up and caresses her face...
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE JANE'S ROOM CONTINUOUS
Ricky and Jane, fully clothed, lie curled up on Jane's bed.
JANE
Are you scared?
RICKY
I don't get scared.
JANE
My parents will try to find me.
RICKY
Mine won't.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE FAMILY ROOM CONTINUOUS
Lester starts unbuttoning Angela's blouse. She seems
disconnected from what's happening. Lester pulls her blouse
open, exposing her breasts.
Lester looks down at her, grinning, unable to believe he's
actually about to do what he's dreamed of so many times, and
then...
ANGELA
This is my first time.
Lester LAUGHS.
LESTER
You're kidding.
ANGELA
(a whisper)
I'm sorry.
A beat. Lester looks down at her, his grin fading.
His POV: Angela lies beneath us, embarrassed and vulnerable.
This is not the mythically carnal creature of Lester's
fantasies; this is a nervous child.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
I still want to do it... I just
thought I should tell you... in case
you wondered why I wasn't... better.
Lester's face falls. There's no way he's going to go through
with this now.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
(confused)
What's wrong? I thought you said I
was beautiful.
LESTER
(tenderly)
You are beautiful.
He grabs a blanket from the back of the couch and drapes it
around her shoulders, covering her nakedness.
LESTER (CONT'D)
You are so beautiful... and I would
be a very lucky man...
He smiles and shakes his head. Humiliated, Angela starts to
cry.
ANGELA
I feel so stupid.
LESTER
Don't.
He hugs her, letting her put her head on his shoulder,
stroking her hair and rocking her gently.
ANGELA
I'm sorry.
Lester takes her by the shoulders and looks at her, serious.
LESTER
You have nothing to be sorry about.
But she keeps crying. Lester hugs her again. We HEAR a loud
CLAP of THUNDER outside.
LESTER (CONT'D)
(smiles)
It's okay. Everything's okay.
Ratings
Scene 40 - A Moment of Fragile Contentment
The Mercedes pulls onto Robin Hood Trail.
INT. MERCEDESBENZ ML320 CONTINUOUS
CLOSE on Carolyn's eyes, reflected in the REARVIEW MIRROR.
She turns her head to look out the window:
Her POV: The RED DOOR of the Burnham house stands out, even
in the pouring rain.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE KITCHEN MOMENTS LATER
Angela, once again fully clothed, sits at the kitchen
counter. She's eating a turkey sandwich.
ANGELA
Wow. I was starving.
Lester puts a jar of mayonnaise back in the refrigerator.
LESTER
Do you want me to make you another
one?
ANGELA
No, no, no. I'm fine.
He turns to her and cocks an eyebrow.
LESTER
(concerned)
You sure?
ANGELA
I mean, I'm still a little weirded
out, but...
(sincerely)
...I feel better. Thanks.
A long beat, as Lester studies her, then:
LESTER
How's Jane?
ANGELA
What do you mean?
LESTER
I mean, how's her life? Is she
happy? Is she miserable? I'd really
like to know, and she'd die before
she'd ever tell me about it.
Angela shifts uncomfortably.
ANGELA
She's... she's really happy. She
thinks she's in love.
Angela rolls her eyes at how silly this notion is.
LESTER
(quietly)
Good for her.
An awkward beat.
ANGELA
How are you?
LESTER
(smiles, taken aback)
God, it's been a long time since
anybody asked me that.
(thinks about it)
I'm great.
They just sit there, smiling at each other, then:
ANGELA
(suddenly)
I've gotta go to the bathroom.
She crosses off. Lester watches her go, then stands there
wondering why he should suddenly feel so content.
LESTER
(laughs)
I'm great.
Something at the edge of the counter catches his eye, and he
reaches for...
CLOSE on a framed PHOTOGRAPH as he picks it up: It's the
photo we saw earlier of him, Carolyn and Jane, taken several
years ago at an amusement park. It's startling how happy
they look.
Lester crosses to the kitchen table, where he sits and
studies the photo. He suddenly seems older, more mature...
and then he smiles: the deep, satisfied smile of a man who
just now understands the punch line of a joke he heard long
ago...
LESTER (CONT'D)
Man oh man...
(softly)
Man oh man oh man...
After a beat, the barrel of a GUN rises up behind his head,
aimed at the base of his skull.
ANGLE ON an arrangement of freshcut ROSES in a vase on the
opposite counter, deep crimson against the WHITE TILE WALL.
Then a GUNSHOT suddenly rings out, ECHOING unnaturally.
Instantly, the tile is sprayed with BLOOD, the same deep
crimson as the roses.
Ratings
Scene 41 - A Haunting Discovery
Ricky comes down the stairs, followed by Jane.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE KITCHEN MOMENTS LATER
Ricky opens the door from the dining room, then stops. Jane
appears behind him.
JANE
Oh God.
Their POV: A pool of blood is forming on the kitchen table.
Ricky comes into the kitchen and slowly approaches Lester's
lifeless body, wideeyed but not afraid. Jane follows him,
in shock. Ricky kneels, gazing at Lester's unseen face...
then he smiles, ever so slightly.
His POV: Lester looks back at us; his eyes are lifeless, but
he's smiling the same slight smile.
RICKY
(an awed whisper)
Wow.
LESTER (V.O.)
I had always heard your entire life
flashes in front of your eyes the
second before you die.
EXT. SKY DAY
We're FLYING across a white blanket of clouds.
LESTER (V.O.)
First of all, that one second isn't
a second at all, it stretches on
forever, like an ocean of time...
EXT. WOODS NIGHT
In BLACK & WHITE: Elevenyearold Lester looks up, pointing
excitedly at:
His POV: A DOT OF LIGHT falls across an unbelievably starry
sky.
LESTER (V.O.)
For me, it was lying on my back at
Boy Scout camp, watching falling
stars...
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE JANE'S BEDROOM NIGHT
Ricky and Jane lie curled up on Jane's bed, fully clothed.
We HEAR a GUNSHOT from downstairs. They look at each other,
alarmed.
EXT. SUBURBAN STREET DUSK
In BLACK & WHITE: Maple trees in autumn. Ghostly LEAVES
FLUTTER slowly toward pavement.
LESTER (V.O.)
And yellow leaves, from the maple
trees, that lined my street...
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE POWDER ROOM NIGHT
Angela stands in front of the mirror, fixing her makeup. We
HEAR the GUNSHOT again. Angela turns, frightened.
INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE DAY
In BLACK & WHITE: CLOSE on an ancient woman's papery HANDS
as they button a cardigan sweater.
LESTER (V.O.)
Or my grandmother's hands, and the
way her skin seemed like paper...
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE NIGHT
Carolyn walks slowly toward the RED DOOR, drenched to the
bone, clutching her PURSE tightly. We HEAR the GUNSHOT
again.
Ratings
Scene 42 - Fleeting Moments of Reflection
In BLACK & WHITE: A 1970 PONTIAC FIREBIRD in the driveway of
a suburban home. The SUN'S REFLECTION in the windshield
FLASHES BRILLIANTLY.
LESTER (V.O.)
And the first time I saw my cousin
Tony's brand new Firebird...
INT. FITTS HOUSE THE COLONEL'S STUDY NIGHT
The Colonel enters, wet. He's wearing LATEX GLOVES. BLOOD
covers the front of his Tshirt. He paces in front of one of
his GUN CASES; the GLASS DOOR is open, and a gun is
conspicuously missing from inside.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE HALL NIGHT
In BLACK & WHITE: Jane opens her bedroom door, staring at
us.
LESTER (V.O.)
And Janie...
EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE DUSK
In BLACK & WHITE: A door opens to reveal 4YEAROLD JANE,
dressed for Halloween in a Princess costume, holding a lit
SPARKLER aloft and smiling shyly at us.
LESTER (V.O.)
And Janie...
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE MASTER BEDROOM NIGHT
Carolyn enters, terrified, still clutching her PURSE. She
shuts the door and locks it, then takes the GLOCK 19 out of
her purse. She opens the closet door and shoves the gun into
a HAMPER. Then, suddenly aware of Lester's scent, she grabs
as many of his clothes as she can and pulls them to her,
burying her face in them. She sinks to her knees, pulling
several items of clothing down with her, and she begins to
cry.
EXT. AMUSEMENT PARK NIGHT
IN BLACK & WHITE:
A younger Carolyn sits across from us in one of those
SPINNINGTEACUP RIDES, LAUGHING uncontrollably as she twists
the wheel in front of her, making us SPIN even faster.
LESTER (V.O.)
(with love)
And... Carolyn.
EXT. PARKING LOT DAY
On VIDEO: We're watching the video Ricky showed Jane
earlier, of the empty white PLASTIC BAG being blown about.
The wind carries it in a circle around us, sometimes
whipping it about violently, or, without warning, sending it
soaring skyward, then letting it float gracefully down to
the ground...
LESTER (V.O.)
I guess I could be pretty pissed off
about what happened to me... but
it's hard to stay mad, when there's
so much beauty in the world.
Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it
all at once, and it's too much, my
heart fills up like a balloon that's
about to burst...
EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL DAY
We're FLYING once again over Robin Hood Trail, ASCENDING
SLOWLY.
LESTER (V.O.)
...and then I remember to relax, and
stop trying to hold on to it, and
then it flows through me like rain
and I can't feel anything but
gratitude for every single moment of
my stupid little life...
(amused)
You have no idea what I'm talking
about, I'm sure. But don't worry...
FADE TO BLACK.
LESTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
You will someday.
Ratings
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
---|---|---|---|
jane | Throughout the screenplay, Jane embarks on a journey of self-discovery and growth. Initially, she is defensive and closed-off, using sarcasm to shield herself from the pain of her family dynamics. As the story progresses, she confronts her insecurities and the impact of her parents' relationship on her own identity. Key moments of conflict and connection, particularly with Ricky, challenge her to open up and embrace vulnerability. By the climax, Jane learns to assert her needs and desires, ultimately finding a balance between independence and connection. The resolution sees her taking steps towards healing her family relationships while maintaining her sense of self, marking a significant transformation from a resentful teenager to a more self-aware and empowered young woman. | While Jane's character arc is compelling, it could benefit from more defined turning points that clearly illustrate her growth. The screenplay should ensure that her journey is not only about overcoming family dysfunction but also about her personal aspirations and how they evolve throughout the story. Additionally, the relationship with Ricky, while pivotal, should be developed further to highlight how it influences her transformation. The emotional stakes could be raised by incorporating more external conflicts that challenge her beliefs and force her to confront her vulnerabilities. | To improve Jane's character arc, consider introducing specific challenges that force her to confront her fears and insecurities head-on. This could include a pivotal moment where she must choose between conforming to societal expectations or embracing her true self. Additionally, deepen her relationship with Ricky by showcasing how their bond helps her navigate her family issues, perhaps through shared experiences that reveal their vulnerabilities. Incorporating a mentor figure or a significant event that catalyzes her growth could also enhance her journey. Finally, ensure that her resolution feels earned by providing a clear contrast between her initial state and her final transformation, emphasizing the lessons learned along the way. |
ricky | Ricky's character arc follows his journey from a rebellious and detached teenager to a more emotionally connected individual. Initially, he uses humor and cynicism to mask his pain and struggles with family issues, particularly his relationship with his father. As the story progresses, he confronts his past traumas and begins to open up to Jane, revealing his vulnerabilities and desires for connection. This transformation is catalyzed by pivotal moments that challenge his worldview and force him to confront his emotional scars. By the end of the screenplay, Ricky emerges as a more resilient and empathetic character, having learned to embrace his emotions and forge deeper connections with those around him. | Ricky's character arc is compelling, but it risks becoming predictable if not handled with nuance. While his journey from rebellion to emotional connection is relatable, the screenplay should ensure that his transformation feels earned and not rushed. The balance between his dark humor and emotional depth is crucial; if one overshadows the other, it may dilute the impact of his character development. Additionally, the motivations behind his rebellious actions could be explored further to provide a richer understanding of his internal conflicts. | To improve Ricky's character arc, consider incorporating more specific catalysts that challenge his beliefs and force him to confront his past. This could include a significant event that directly impacts his relationship with his father or a moment of vulnerability with Jane that leads to a breakthrough. Additionally, explore the consequences of his actions more deeply, allowing for moments of reflection that highlight his growth. Introducing secondary characters who challenge or mirror Ricky's struggles could also enhance his journey, providing opportunities for dialogue that reveal his evolving perspective. Finally, ensure that his humor remains a tool for connection rather than a barrier, allowing for moments where he can express genuine emotion without resorting to sarcasm. |
lester |
|
Lester's character arc is compelling, showcasing a relatable struggle with midlife dissatisfaction and the quest for meaning. However, the arc could benefit from clearer stakes and consequences for his actions. While his transformation is evident, the emotional impact of his choices on his family and relationships could be explored more deeply to enhance the narrative tension. | To improve Lester's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that highlight the emotional fallout of his decisions on his family, particularly focusing on how his actions affect his relationships with his wife and daughter. Additionally, introducing a mentor or confidant character could provide Lester with guidance and challenge his perspectives, further enriching his journey. Finally, ensure that the climax of his arc presents a significant choice that tests his growth, allowing for a more impactful resolution. |
carolyn | Throughout the screenplay, Carolyn's character arc involves a gradual confrontation with her vulnerabilities and a reevaluation of her priorities. Initially, she is portrayed as a driven and controlling figure, focused solely on success and appearances. However, as the story progresses, she faces mounting pressures in her marriage and family life, leading to emotional breakdowns and conflicts. These moments force her to confront her insecurities and the impact of her controlling nature on her relationships. By the climax, Carolyn begins to recognize the importance of authenticity over appearances, leading to a transformative realization about her values. In the resolution, she takes steps towards rebuilding her relationships with her husband and daughter, embracing vulnerability and seeking genuine connections rather than superficial success. | While Carolyn's character arc presents a compelling journey of self-discovery and vulnerability, it risks becoming predictable if not executed with nuance. The initial portrayal of her as a controlling and image-conscious woman is effective, but the transition to her realization of the importance of authenticity may need more depth. The screenplay should ensure that her moments of vulnerability are not just plot devices but are rooted in her character's development. Additionally, the conflicts with her husband and daughter could benefit from more complexity, allowing for a richer exploration of her relationships and the impact of her actions. | To improve Carolyn's character arc, consider incorporating more subtlety in her moments of vulnerability. Instead of overt breakdowns, allow her to experience small, incremental realizations that build up to her transformation. This could involve interactions with secondary characters who challenge her views or moments of introspection that reveal her internal struggles. Additionally, explore the dynamics of her relationships in greater detail, showcasing how her controlling nature affects her family and how they respond to her. This could create opportunities for conflict and growth, making her eventual shift towards authenticity more impactful. Finally, consider giving Carolyn a mentor or confidant who helps guide her through her journey, providing a contrasting perspective that highlights her flaws and encourages her growth. |
carolyn burnham | Throughout the screenplay, Carolyn's character arc follows her journey from a controlling and perfectionistic individual to someone who learns to embrace vulnerability and the imperfections of life. Initially, her relentless pursuit of success and societal validation alienates her from her family and leads to personal dissatisfaction. As the story progresses, Carolyn faces challenges that force her to confront her rigid beliefs and the impact they have on her relationships. By the climax, she experiences a pivotal moment of self-realization, recognizing that true fulfillment comes not from external validation but from genuine connections with her loved ones. In the resolution, Carolyn embraces a more balanced perspective, allowing herself to be imperfect and fostering deeper relationships with her family. | While Carolyn's character arc presents a compelling transformation, it risks feeling predictable and lacking depth if not executed with nuance. Her initial portrayal as a perfectionist may come off as one-dimensional, and her journey towards vulnerability could benefit from more complexity. The screenplay should ensure that her motivations are explored in greater detail, allowing the audience to empathize with her struggles rather than simply viewing her as a flawed character. Additionally, the resolution should avoid a simplistic 'happy ending' and instead reflect the ongoing nature of personal growth. | To improve Carolyn's character arc, consider incorporating more backstory that reveals the origins of her perfectionism and need for control. This could include flashbacks or conversations that highlight her upbringing or past experiences that shaped her worldview. Additionally, introduce secondary characters who challenge her beliefs and provide contrasting perspectives, allowing for richer interactions and growth. Throughout the screenplay, include moments of vulnerability that showcase her internal conflicts, making her eventual transformation feel earned and relatable. Finally, ensure that the resolution reflects the complexities of life, suggesting that while Carolyn has made progress, her journey towards balance and acceptance is ongoing. |
angela | Angela's character arc follows her journey from a confident and provocative teenage girl to a more nuanced individual who grapples with her vulnerabilities and desires for genuine connection. Initially, she uses her charm and flirtation to navigate social interactions, often pushing boundaries to assert her power. However, as she encounters Lester's newfound confidence, she begins to confront her insecurities, leading to moments of hesitation and emotional turmoil. Throughout the screenplay, Angela learns to balance her boldness with vulnerability, ultimately seeking deeper connections rather than superficial validation. By the end, she emerges as a more self-aware individual, embracing her complexities and understanding the importance of authenticity in her relationships. | While Angela's character arc presents a compelling journey of self-discovery, it risks becoming predictable if not executed with depth. The transition from confidence to vulnerability needs to be carefully crafted to avoid clichés. Additionally, her interactions with other characters, particularly Jane and Lester, should be more varied to showcase different facets of her personality and growth. The screenplay should ensure that her moments of vulnerability do not undermine her initial confidence but rather enhance it, creating a more rounded character. | To improve Angela's character arc, consider incorporating more diverse interactions that challenge her confidence in different ways. Introduce scenarios where her assertiveness is tested by peers or authority figures, allowing her to confront her insecurities in a broader context. Additionally, explore her relationships with other female characters, such as Jane, to highlight themes of competition, friendship, and solidarity. This could provide a richer backdrop for her growth. Finally, ensure that her moments of vulnerability are interspersed with instances of strength, allowing her to evolve without losing the essence of her bold personality. |
buddy | Buddy's character arc follows a trajectory from a confident and manipulative figure to a more vulnerable and introspective individual. Initially, he thrives on charm and control, using his charisma to navigate social situations and assert dominance. However, as the narrative unfolds, Buddy faces mounting personal and professional challenges that force him to confront his own insecurities and the consequences of his manipulative behavior. This journey leads him to a moment of self-realization, where he must choose between continuing his facade or embracing authenticity and vulnerability. By the end of the feature, Buddy emerges as a more complex character, having learned the importance of genuine connections over superficial charm. | While Buddy's character arc is compelling, it risks becoming predictable if not executed with nuance. The transition from a confident manipulator to a vulnerable individual needs to be carefully crafted to avoid clichés. Additionally, the motivations behind his manipulative behavior should be explored more deeply to provide a richer understanding of his character. The screenplay should ensure that Buddy's internal conflicts are mirrored in his external actions, creating a cohesive narrative that keeps the audience engaged. | To improve Buddy's character arc, consider incorporating more backstory that explains his need for control and manipulation. This could involve flashbacks or conversations that reveal past traumas or failures that shaped his behavior. Additionally, introduce moments of vulnerability earlier in the screenplay to foreshadow his eventual transformation. This will create a more gradual and believable evolution. Finally, ensure that his relationships with other characters evolve in a way that reflects his internal changes, allowing for a more organic development of his character throughout the feature. |
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
Pattern | Explanation |
---|---|
Strong Dialogue & Character Changes | Scenes with higher dialogue scores tend to have higher character changes scores. This suggests that your dialogue effectively drives character development and reveals their personalities. |
Humor as a Tension Releaser | Scenes with humorous tones often follow scenes with higher emotional impact or intense tones, acting as a welcome break for the audience. You expertly utilize humor to provide a contrasting element and prevent the story from becoming overly serious. |
Emotional Impact & Character Growth | Scenes with higher emotional impact scores generally coincide with stronger character changes, suggesting that emotionally impactful moments lead to significant shifts in your characters' perspectives or motivations. |
Conflict Drives the Plot | Scenes with higher conflict scores consistently score well in plot progression. You effectively use conflict as a driving force to propel the narrative forward, keeping the audience engaged. |
High Stakes Lead to Increased Emotional Intensity | Scenes with high stakes scores generally have higher emotional impact scores, indicating your ability to create a sense of urgency and vulnerability that resonates with the audience. |
Confrontational Tone & Strong Dialogue | Scenes with confrontational tones tend to have higher dialogue scores. This suggests you effectively utilize dialogue to create intense exchanges and propel the narrative forward through conflict. |
Satirical Tone & Character Depth | Scenes with satirical tones often involve strong character changes, suggesting that you use satire to explore your characters' complexities and expose their flaws. |
Introspective Moments & Lower Emotional Impact | Scenes with introspective tones tend to have lower emotional impact scores. While this can be effective for creating moments of reflection, consider how to balance these introspective moments with more emotionally charged scenes to maintain audience engagement. |
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
The screenplay demonstrates a strong foundation in character development, dialogue, and emotional depth, often exploring themes of family dynamics, suburban life, and societal expectations. The writer shows a good understanding of how to create tension, conflict, and emotional resonance within scenes. The screenplay's strength lies in its realistic and relatable characters, sharp dialogue, and ability to balance humor and drama. However, there is room for improvement in further developing the unique voice, enhancing the narrative structure, and adding more visual storytelling elements.
Key Improvement Areas
Suggestions
Type | Suggestion | Rationale |
---|---|---|
Book | Save the Cat! Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody | This book provides valuable insights into crafting engaging narratives and developing well-rounded characters, which can benefit the writer's storytelling skills, especially in enhancing the narrative structure and character arcs. |
Screenplay | American Beauty by Alan Ball | This screenplay, recommended multiple times for its effective portrayal of suburban life, character dynamics, and thematic depth, can provide valuable insights into the writer's craft, particularly in developing realistic and relatable characters, crafting sharp dialogue, and blending humor with drama. |
Screenplay | Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind by Charlie Kaufman | This screenplay's unique approach to non-linear storytelling and character development, blending surreal elements with emotional depth, can inspire the writer to explore more creative storytelling techniques and deepen their understanding of character motivations. |
Stories Similar to this one
Story | Explanation |
---|---|
American Beauty | The screenplay summary closely mirrors the themes and structure of 'American Beauty,' which also explores suburban disillusionment, family dysfunction, and the quest for personal freedom. Both stories feature a protagonist, Lester, who undergoes a midlife crisis, leading to a series of events that challenge societal norms and familial relationships. |
The Virgin Suicides | Similar to the screenplay, 'The Virgin Suicides' delves into the complexities of adolescence, family dynamics, and the impact of societal expectations. Both narratives feature a focus on teenage characters grappling with their identities amidst the backdrop of troubled family relationships. |
Little Children | This film shares thematic elements with the screenplay, including suburban malaise, infidelity, and the exploration of adult relationships. Both stories highlight the emotional struggles of characters seeking fulfillment outside their conventional lives. |
Revolutionary Road | Both the screenplay and 'Revolutionary Road' depict the disillusionment of suburban life and the breakdown of marriage. The characters in both stories confront their unfulfilled dreams and the societal pressures that contribute to their emotional turmoil. |
Donnie Darko | Similar to the screenplay, 'Donnie Darko' features a teenager navigating complex family dynamics and existential themes. Both stories incorporate elements of dark humor and surrealism, exploring the characters' struggles with identity and societal expectations. |
The Graduate | In 'The Graduate,' themes of disillusionment and the search for meaning resonate with the screenplay's exploration of Lester's midlife crisis and Jane's teenage insecurities. Both narratives feature a protagonist caught between societal expectations and personal desires. |
Six Feet Under | This television series shares a focus on family dynamics, mortality, and the complexities of human relationships. Both the screenplay and 'Six Feet Under' explore the impact of death on family members and the ways they cope with their emotional struggles. |
The Perks of Being a Wallflower | Both stories delve into the challenges of adolescence, self-discovery, and the impact of family relationships on personal growth. The screenplay's portrayal of Jane's insecurities and Ricky's perspective aligns with the themes of friendship and emotional turmoil in 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower.' |
Fargo | While tonally different, 'Fargo' shares a darkly comedic approach to serious themes, including crime and moral ambiguity. Both stories feature characters who navigate complex relationships and confront the consequences of their actions in a suburban setting. |
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
---|---|---|
Midlife Crisis | Lester Burnham experiences a profound sense of dissatisfaction with his life, leading him to make drastic changes, including quitting his job and pursuing a more carefree lifestyle. | A midlife crisis is a common trope where a character, often in their 40s or 50s, reevaluates their life choices and seeks to reclaim their youth or happiness. An example is in 'American Beauty' itself, where Lester's transformation symbolizes this trope. Another example is in 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin', where the protagonist also seeks to change his life drastically. |
Dysfunctional Family | The Burnham family exhibits strained relationships, with Lester feeling disconnected from Carolyn and Jane, leading to emotional distance and conflict. | Dysfunctional families are often portrayed in media to highlight the complexities of family dynamics. In 'American Beauty', the Burnhams' interactions showcase their inability to communicate effectively. A similar example is 'The Royal Tenenbaums', where family members struggle with their relationships and personal issues. |
The Seductive Teen | Angela, a teenage girl, is portrayed as alluring and seductive, particularly in her interactions with Lester. | This trope often involves a younger character using their sexuality to manipulate or attract an older character. In 'American Beauty', Angela's flirtation with Lester exemplifies this trope. A similar example is in 'Lolita', where the young protagonist's allure creates tension with an older man. |
The Peeping Tom | Ricky films Jane and her family, capturing intimate moments without their knowledge, highlighting voyeurism. | This trope involves a character observing others secretly, often leading to tension and ethical dilemmas. In 'American Beauty', Ricky's voyeurism raises questions about privacy and consent. A similar example is in 'Rear Window', where the protagonist observes his neighbors and becomes embroiled in a mystery. |
Unhappy Marriage | Lester and Carolyn's marriage is fraught with tension, dissatisfaction, and lack of communication. | This trope explores the complexities of marital relationships, often highlighting the struggles between partners. In 'American Beauty', the Burnhams' marriage serves as a backdrop for Lester's transformation. A similar example is in 'Marriage Story', where the couple navigates their differences and emotional disconnect. |
The Overbearing Parent | Carolyn exhibits controlling behavior towards Jane, reflecting her own insecurities and frustrations. | This trope involves a parent who imposes their expectations on their children, often leading to rebellion. In 'American Beauty', Carolyn's overbearing nature creates tension with Jane. A similar example is in 'The Pursuit of Happyness', where the father's struggles impact his relationship with his son. |
The Outsider | Ricky Fitts, the neighbor, is portrayed as an outsider with a unique perspective on the Burnham family. | This trope often involves a character who feels alienated from society, providing a different viewpoint. In 'American Beauty', Ricky's outsider status allows him to observe the Burnhams' dysfunction. A similar example is in 'The Catcher in the Rye', where Holden Caulfield navigates his feelings of alienation. |
The Symbolic Object | The rose petals symbolize beauty, desire, and the fleeting nature of life throughout the screenplay. | Symbolic objects are used to convey deeper meanings and themes. In 'American Beauty', the rose petals represent Lester's awakening and the beauty he seeks. A similar example is in 'The Great Gatsby', where the green light symbolizes Gatsby's unattainable dreams. |
The Tragic Flaw | Lester's inability to navigate his desires and relationships leads to his tragic end. | The tragic flaw is a character trait that ultimately leads to the character's downfall. In 'American Beauty', Lester's obsession with youth and desire for freedom culminates in tragedy. A similar example is in 'Macbeth', where ambition leads to the protagonist's demise. |
Theme | Theme Details | Themee Explanation | ||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Midlife Crisis | Lester Burnham is a middle-aged man who is dissatisfied with his life and his family. He has an affair, tries to improve his physical appearance, and rebels against his corporate job. | The screenplay explores the common themes of midlife crisis, including dissatisfaction with one's life, a desire for change, and the search for meaning and purpose. Lester's actions, from his affair with Angela to his sudden career change, are all fueled by his desire to escape the mundane and find something more fulfilling. This theme is particularly prominent in the film's opening scenes and in Lester's interactions with both Carolyn and Angela. | ||||||||||||
Strengthening Midlife Crisis:
| ||||||||||||||
Family Dynamics | The Burnham family is dysfunctional, with strained relationships between Lester and Carolyn, Lester and Jane, and Carolyn and Jane. Jane is a typical insecure teenager, and Lester feels inadequate and alienated from his family. | The screenplay explores the complexities of family relationships, highlighting the challenges of communication, understanding, and connection. The film presents a portrait of a family struggling to find meaning and purpose within their own dysfunction. The family's conflicts are a reflection of the larger societal themes of alienation, conformity, and the pursuit of happiness. | ||||||||||||
Identity and Self-Discovery | The characters in the screenplay are all searching for their identities and trying to find their place in the world. Lester, Carolyn, Jane, and Ricky each struggle with different aspects of their identities, including their sexuality, their relationships, and their roles in society. | The screenplay explores the themes of identity and self-discovery through the experiences of its characters. Each individual is grappling with questions of who they are, what they want, and how they fit into the world around them. The film highlights the challenges of defining oneself in a society that often dictates expectations and roles. | ||||||||||||
Sexuality and Desire | The screenplay explores the themes of sexuality and desire through the characters' relationships and their encounters with each other. Lester's affair with Angela is a significant part of the plot, and the film also explores the sexual tension between Ricky and Jane, and Carolyn and Buddy. | The screenplay explores the complexities of human desire, both romantic and sexual. The characters are driven by their passions, which often lead to conflict and confusion. The film's exploration of these themes is often humorous and insightful, and it challenges traditional notions of sexuality and relationships. | ||||||||||||
Conformity and Rebellion | The characters in the screenplay are grappling with the expectations of society and their own desires to rebel. Lester rejects his corporate job, Carolyn clings to her social status, and Ricky rejects his father's homophobic views. | The screenplay explores the tension between conformity and rebellion. The characters are faced with the pressure to conform to societal norms, but they also have a desire to break free and define their own paths. This theme is particularly evident in Lester's rejection of his corporate career and Ricky's defiance of his father's homophobia. The film suggests that true freedom comes from embracing one's individuality and challenging the status quo. |
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
Site | Description |
---|---|
Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
---|---|
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
Voice Analysis | |
---|---|
Summary: | The writer's voice is a blend of dark humor, introspective narration, and sharp dialogue, creating a cynical and insightful lens through which to examine suburban life and its discontents. The screenplay is characterized by a blend of realistic and surreal elements, creating a sense of unease and mystery, and exploring themes of conformity, individuality, and the search for meaning in an often-superficial world. |
Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes to the script by creating a tone of irony and disillusionment, highlighting the hypocrisy and absurdity of everyday life. The sharp and witty dialogue reveals the characters' internal struggles and conflicts, while the introspective narration delves into their deepest desires and fears. The use of surreal imagery and dreamlike sequences adds a layer of mystery and intrigue, deepening the psychological exploration of the characters and their relationships. |
Best Representation Scene | 2 - Fractured Reflections |
Best Scene Explanation | This scene perfectly encapsulates the writer's unique voice through its blend of dark humor, introspective narration, and sharp dialogue. The juxtaposition of Jane's internal struggles with her mother's impatience and her father's fumbling creates a sense of irony and dysfunction, while the scene's ending, with Lester's spilled papers and Carolyn's frustrated outburst, underscores the pervasive tension within the Burnham family. |
- Overall originality score: 8.5
- Overall originality explanation: The screenplay presents a fresh and layered exploration of suburban life, family dynamics, and personal struggles. Each scene introduces unique character interactions and conflicts that challenge traditional narratives, particularly through the use of dark humor, surreal elements, and authentic dialogue. The incorporation of themes such as desire, identity, and disillusionment adds depth and originality to the overall narrative.
- Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the screenplay are the surreal moments of Lester's existential awakening juxtaposed with his mundane suburban life, the provocative interactions between Lester and Angela that challenge societal norms, and the voyeuristic elements introduced through Ricky's filming, which create a complex web of observation and desire.
- Overall unpredictability score: 9
- Overall unpredictability explanation: The screenplay maintains a high level of unpredictability through its unexpected character developments and shocking plot twists, such as Lester's violent end and the complex dynamics between characters that evolve throughout the story. The intertwining of dark humor with serious themes keeps the audience guessing about character motivations and the direction of the narrative, leading to surprising and impactful moments.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
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internal Goals | The protagonist's internal goals shift from seeking acceptance and validation in a stifling family environment to pursuing individuality, authenticity, and deeper emotional connections. Ultimately, they confront their fears, desires, and sense of self-worth throughout the story. |
External Goals | The protagonist's external goals evolve from attempting to maintain family appearances and navigate everyday challenges to asserting independence and confronting societal expectations. This trajectory demonstrates a growing desire for a meaningful life beyond superficial norms. |
Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict lies in the disparity between societal expectations and the pursuit of individual authenticity. This conflict manifests through the characters' struggles to reconcile their desires for personal agency, love, and acceptance against the backdrop of traditional family dynamics and external pressures. |
Character Development Contribution: The evolution of internal and external goals drives the protagonist's character development, highlighting their journey from a passive existence to a more assertive stance in seeking fulfillment and connection. Each goal marks a significant step in their personal growth and self-discovery.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The changing goals create a dynamic narrative arc that escalates conflicts, leading to moments of tension and resolution. This structure keeps the audience engaged as it intertwines with the protagonist's experiences, ultimately culminating in a transformative climax.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The interplay between goals and conflicts deepens the screenplay's themes of identity, familial relationships, and societal expectations. This complexity enriches the narrative by exploring the nuances of the human experience, urging the audience to reflect on their own lives and values.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
Site | Description |
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Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
Title | Description |
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How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
- Physical environment: The screenplay is set in a typical American suburban neighborhood, characterized by well-maintained houses, manicured lawns, and a sense of conformity. The environment is both familiar and stifling, reflecting the characters' desire for escape from the mundane.
- Culture: The cultural elements of the screenplay revolve around societal expectations of success, appearances, and relationships. There is a strong emphasis on materialism and the pursuit of a perfect life, which often leads to superficiality and dissatisfaction. The screenplay also explores themes of infidelity, teenage rebellion, and drug use.
- Society: The screenplay explores the societal structure of suburban life, highlighting the tension between individual desires and societal expectations. Family dynamics are central to the narrative, with characters struggling to connect with each other and find their place within the family unit. The screenplay also touches upon issues of class, privilege, and the pressure to conform to societal norms.
- Technology: The technological elements in the screenplay are used to highlight the contrast between the mundane suburban setting and the characters' inner desires and struggles. Technology is both a tool for communication and a symbol of modern alienation. The presence of digital cameras, video recorders, and other modern devices reflects the characters' obsession with capturing and documenting their lives, while also creating a sense of surveillance and invasion of privacy.
- Characters influence: The world elements shape the characters' experiences and actions by creating a sense of claustrophobia and frustration. The characters feel trapped by societal expectations and the monotony of their lives. They are constantly trying to escape the confines of their environment, seeking something more meaningful and fulfilling. The characters' actions are often driven by their desire to rebel against these expectations, which leads them to make choices that are both reckless and ultimately destructive.
- Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute to the narrative by creating a sense of suspense and intrigue. The suburban setting is both familiar and unsettling, leading the audience to question the characters' motives and the events that unfold. The screenplay uses the elements of the world to create a sense of unease and anticipation, building tension and leading to a tragic climax.
- Thematic depth contribution: The world elements contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring the complexities of human relationships, the search for meaning in life, and the consequences of social pressures. The screenplay explores the facades that people create to present themselves to the world and the destructive effects of these facades on individuals and their relationships. It also highlights the importance of authenticity and the dangers of sacrificing one's true self in pursuit of societal approval.
central conflict
The central conflict revolves around the disintegration of the Burnham family, marked by Lester's midlife crisis, Carolyn's dissatisfaction with her marriage, and Jane's struggles with self-identity and familial relationships.
primary motivations
- Lester seeks to reclaim his lost youth and happiness.
- Carolyn is motivated by a desire for success and validation in her career.
- Jane desires a better relationship with her father and struggles with her self-image.
- Ricky seeks connection and understanding amidst his troubled home life.
catalysts
- Lester's decision to quit his job and embrace a more carefree lifestyle.
- Jane's interactions with Ricky and Angela, which highlight her insecurities.
- Carolyn's affair with Buddy Kane, which signifies her emotional detachment from Lester.
barriers
- The emotional distance and lack of communication within the Burnham family.
- Carolyn's obsession with appearances and success, which blinds her to her family's needs.
- Ricky's father's oppressive nature and homophobia, which stifles Ricky's self-expression.
themes
- The search for identity and meaning in suburban life.
- The impact of societal expectations on personal happiness.
- The complexities of familial relationships and the consequences of emotional neglect.
stakes
The stakes include the potential collapse of the Burnham family unit, the emotional well-being of Jane, and the personal fulfillment of Lester and Carolyn, culminating in life-altering decisions and tragic outcomes.
uniqueness factor
The story uniquely blends dark humor with poignant social commentary, exploring the absurdities of suburban life and the human condition through a surreal lens.
audience hook
The main audience hook lies in the relatable yet exaggerated portrayal of midlife crises, teenage angst, and the quest for authenticity in a superficial world.
paradoxical engine or bisociation
The paradoxical engine is the juxtaposition of the mundane suburban lifestyle against the characters' intense emotional struggles, creating a tension that drives the narrative forward.
paradoxical engine or bisociation 2
Another bisociation could be the contrast between the characters' outward appearances of success and happiness versus their internal turmoil, highlighting the dissonance between societal expectations and personal fulfillment.
Engine: Claude
Recommend
Executive Summary
The screenplay for "American Beauty" is a compelling exploration of the human experience, delving into themes of identity, family, and the pursuit of happiness. With its rich character development, intricate plotlines, and poignant moments, the screenplay stands out as a well-crafted and thought-provoking narrative that would be of great interest to a wide audience. The script's unique blend of drama, comedy, and suspense makes it a strong contender for adaptation, with the potential to captivate viewers and leave a lasting impact.
- The screenplay opens with a strong introduction to the main characters, Jane and Ricky, establishing their complex and intriguing relationship dynamic from the outset. high ( Scene 1 (INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT) )
- The family dinner scene is a powerful example of the screenplay's ability to craft tense and emotionally charged confrontations, showcasing the strained relationships within the Burnham household. high ( Scene 4 (INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - DINING ROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT) )
- The sequence where Ricky shares his profound perspective on the beauty of the world through a video he has filmed is a standout moment that powerfully conveys the screenplay's thematic exploration of finding meaning in life. high ( Scene 26 (INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER) )
- The introduction of Carolyn's newfound passion for shooting guns is an intriguing narrative development that adds depth and complexity to her character arc. medium ( Scene 28 (INT. INDOOR FIRING RANGE - ONE MONTH LATER) )
- The scene where Lester rejects Angela's sexual advances due to her inexperience is a powerful moment that showcases the character's emotional maturity and nuanced understanding of the situation. high ( Scene 40 (INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER) )
- While the opening sequence effectively introduces the main characters, there could be an opportunity to provide more context and background information to help the audience better understand the central conflict and the character's motivations. medium ( Scene 1 (INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT) )
- The sequence depicting Lester's work life and his interactions with his boss could be further developed to provide more insight into Lester's professional and personal struggles, which serve as the catalyst for his eventual transformation. medium ( Scene 3 (INT. OFFICE BUILDING - DAY) )
- The basketball game sequence could be expanded to better establish the dynamics between the characters and provide more context for the shifting relationships and power dynamics at play. medium ( Scene 9 (INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - NIGHT) )
- The screenplay does not have any major missing elements. The narrative is well-constructed and the character arcs are thoroughly developed throughout the story. low ( Scene N/A (N/A) )
- The opening sequence, with its striking visual style and intriguing character introductions, immediately captures the audience's attention and sets the tone for the rest of the screenplay. high ( Scene 1 (INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT) )
- The sequence where Ricky shares his perspective on the beauty of the world through his video is a standout moment that showcases the screenplay's depth and emotional resonance. high ( Scene 26 (INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER) )
- The climactic scene where Lester is shot is a powerful and impactful moment that perfectly encapsulates the screenplay's exploration of the complexities of the human experience. high ( Scene 40 (INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER) )
- Lack of diverse perspectives While the screenplay explores the complexities of the Burnham family and their struggles, there is a lack of representation of diverse backgrounds and perspectives. The main characters are predominantly white and middle-class, which could limit the screenplay's appeal to a more diverse audience. medium
- Uneven pacing While the overall pacing of the screenplay is strong, there are a few sequences where the pacing feels uneven or rushed, particularly in the transition between certain scenes. This could be addressed through tighter editing and a more seamless flow of the narrative. low
Engine: GPT4
Highly Recommend
Executive Summary
The screenplay for 'American Beauty' presents a compelling exploration of suburban life, identity, and the pursuit of happiness through the lens of Lester Burnham's midlife crisis. The character arcs are intricately woven, showcasing profound transformations and the consequences of societal expectations. The narrative is rich with dark humor and poignant moments, making it a standout piece that resonates with audiences on multiple levels.
- The screenplay effectively establishes a strong thematic foundation, exploring the contrast between appearance and reality, and the search for beauty in mundane life. high ( Scene Sequence number 1 (Ricky's Bedroom) Scene Sequence number 30 (Robin Hood Trail) )
- Character development is rich and nuanced, particularly with Lester, whose transformation is both relatable and tragic, allowing audiences to empathize with his plight. high ( Scene Sequence number 10 (Master Bedroom) Scene Sequence number 39 (Family Room) )
- The dialogue is sharp and witty, effectively conveying character motivations and enhancing the screenplay's dark comedic tone. high ( Scene Sequence number 22 (Brad's Office) )
- The screenplay's pacing is well-structured, building tension effectively towards the climax while maintaining engagement throughout. high ( Scene Sequence number 41 (Foyer) )
- The use of visual motifs, such as the recurring imagery of roses, enhances the thematic depth and emotional resonance of the narrative. high ( Scene Sequence number 28 (Indoor Firing Range) )
- Some character motivations, particularly those of Carolyn, could be more clearly defined to enhance audience understanding of her actions. medium ( Scene Sequence number 12 (Foyer) )
- The resolution of certain subplots, such as the relationship between Jane and Angela, feels rushed and could benefit from further development. medium ( Scene Sequence number 19 (Robin Hood Trail) )
- The screenplay occasionally relies on clichés in character interactions that could be avoided for a more original feel. medium ( Scene Sequence number 24 (Mr. Smiley's) )
- The pacing in the latter half of the screenplay could be tightened to maintain momentum leading to the climax. medium ( Scene Sequence number 35 (Kitchen) )
- Some scenes could benefit from additional layers of conflict to deepen the narrative complexity. medium ( Scene Sequence number 39 (Family Room) )
- The screenplay lacks a deeper exploration of the consequences of Lester's actions on his family dynamics. high ( Scene Sequence number 6 (Living Room) )
- There is a missed opportunity to further develop the backstory of the Colonel, which could add depth to his character. medium ( Scene Sequence number 14 (Hotel Ballroom) )
- The screenplay could benefit from a clearer resolution for the character arcs of Jane and Ricky. medium ( Scene Sequence number 19 (Robin Hood Trail) )
- The motivations behind Carolyn's actions could be more thoroughly explored to enhance her character's complexity. medium ( Scene Sequence number 23 (Restaurant) )
- The emotional fallout from Lester's death could be more deeply examined, particularly its impact on Jane. high ( Scene Sequence number 41 (Foyer) )
- The opening scene effectively sets the tone for the film, introducing key themes of disillusionment and the search for identity. high ( Scene Sequence number 1 (Ricky's Bedroom) )
- The use of voiceover throughout the screenplay adds a layer of introspection that enhances the audience's connection to Lester. high ( Scene Sequence number 10 (Master Bedroom) )
- The climax is both shocking and poignant, effectively encapsulating the film's themes of beauty and tragedy. high ( Scene Sequence number 30 (Robin Hood Trail) )
- The emotional complexity of the characters is highlighted in the final scenes, leaving a lasting impact on the audience. high ( Scene Sequence number 39 (Family Room) )
- The final moments of the screenplay provide a powerful commentary on the nature of life and beauty, resonating deeply with viewers. high ( Scene Sequence number 41 (Foyer) )
- Character Motivation Blind Spot The motivations of certain characters, particularly Carolyn and the Colonel, are not fully fleshed out, leading to moments that feel less impactful. For instance, Carolyn's drive for success could be explored more deeply to understand her actions better. medium
- Clichéd Dialogue Some dialogue relies on clichés, particularly in character interactions that could be more original. For example, the exchanges between Lester and Carolyn often fall into predictable patterns that detract from their complexity. medium
Memorable lines in the script:
Scene Number | Line |
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41 | Lester: I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. |
42 | Lester: Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... |
27 | Carolyn: You cannot count on anyone except yourself. It's sad, but true, and the sooner you learn it, the better. |
28 | Lester: This isn't life. This is just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that's just nuts. |
20 | Ricky: Never underestimate the power of denial. |