Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Executive Summary
Poster

Overview
Genres: Mystery, Crime, Thriller, Drama, Comedy, Action, Romance, Film Noir, Coming-of-age
Setting: Contemporary (early 2000s), Los Angeles, California, with various settings including urban environments, a hospital, a rehabilitation clinic, and a party scene.
Overview: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang follows Harry Lockhart, a petty thief who inadvertently becomes embroiled in a murder mystery while auditioning for a film in Los Angeles. The story begins with Harry's chaotic introduction to the city, where he meets Harmony Faith Lane, an aspiring actress with a troubled past, and Gay Perry, a private investigator. As Harry navigates the absurdities of Hollywood, he grapples with his own insecurities and the complexities of his relationships. The narrative unfolds through a series of darkly comedic and thrilling events, leading Harry to confront his past and the consequences of his actions, culminating in a chaotic climax that intertwines personal revelations with the overarching mystery.
Themes: The Blurred Lines Between Reality and Fiction, Identity and Self-Discovery, Trauma and Its Lasting Impact, Chaos and Cynicism in Los Angeles, Destiny vs. Choice, The Nature of Truth and Deception, The Superficiality of Hollywood and Fame
Conflict and Stakes: Harry's struggle to uncover the truth behind a series of murders and his complicated relationship with Harmony, with their lives and futures at stake.
Overall Mood: Darkly comedic and suspenseful, with moments of introspection and emotional depth.
Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:
- Scene 6: Intense and suspenseful as Harry faces a life-threatening situation, highlighting the film's darker themes.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The film's blend of dark humor and crime thriller elements, creating a fresh take on the detective genre.
- Plot Twist: The revelation of the twin switch involving Ronnie Dexter and the implications for Harmony's sister.
- Distinctive Setting: The vibrant and chaotic backdrop of Los Angeles, showcasing both its glamorous and gritty sides.
- Innovative Ideas: The use of meta-narrative and self-aware humor that critiques typical Hollywood tropes.
- Unique Characters: A diverse cast with complex backgrounds, each contributing to the film's thematic depth.
Comparable Scripts:
- Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
- The Nice Guys (2016)
- Chinatown (1974)
- L.A. Confidential (1997)
- The Big Lebowski (1998)
- Inherent Vice (2014)
- The Maltese Falcon (1941)
- Veronica Mars (2004-2007)
- Gone Girl (2014)
- The Departed (2006)
Writing Style:
The writing style across the script is characterized by a strong blend of sharp, witty dialogue, dark humor, and a penchant for suspense and mystery. There's a consistent exploration of complex characters navigating morally ambiguous situations, often with unexpected twists and turns in the narrative. Action and intense character confrontations are frequently interwoven with dialogue-driven scenes, creating a dynamic and engaging tone. A notable element is the frequent use of non-linear storytelling and layered narratives, which contribute to the overall intrigue and complexity.
Style Similarities:
- Quentin Tarantino
- Shane Black
- Christopher Nolan
Pass/Consider/Recommend
Explanation:
USP: The script's unique selling proposition is its meta-narrative approach to the detective genre, combining self-aware humor with genuine noir elements. The unreliable narrator who frequently breaks the fourth wall creates a fresh, engaging experience that both celebrates and critiques Hollywood tropes. This postmodern sensibility, combined with Shane Black's signature witty dialogue and intricate plotting, makes it stand out in the crowded crime-comedy landscape.
Market Analysis
Budget Estimate:$20-30 million
Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 18-45, particularly fans of dark comedies, crime thrillers, and neo-noir films.
Marketability: The screenplay combines humor, action, and a compelling mystery, appealing to a broad audience and potential for strong box office performance.
The unique blend of genres and strong character dynamics can attract both mainstream and niche audiences.
The film's exploration of relevant social themes and character-driven narrative can resonate with viewers, though it may face competition from similar films.
Profit Potential: Moderate to high, given the potential for strong audience engagement, merchandising opportunities, and possible awards recognition.
Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice
Summary:The writer's original voice is a dynamic and captivating blend of sharp wit, dark humor, and gritty realism. It's characterized by fast-paced, often cynical dialogue that crackles with energy, juxtaposed with introspective voiceovers that reveal a deep understanding of human nature and its complexities. Vivid, often visceral descriptions and dynamic scene directions immerse the reader in the narrative, creating a mood that oscillates between thrilling suspense, poignant melancholy, and laugh-out-loud absurdity. There's a consistent undercurrent of self-awareness, meta-commentary on storytelling, and a keen eye for the absurdities of life, particularly within the glamorous yet often superficial world of Hollywood.
Best representation: Scene 3 - Gala Discomfort. Scene 3 best showcases the author's unique voice due to its seamless blend of action, reflection, and humor. The opening visual of soaring over the Hollywood Hills sets a grand stage, immediately followed by Harry's introspective narration that bridges the gap between the external spectacle and the internal narrative. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, and the blend of detective story elements with personal reflections establishes the core thematic and stylistic underpinnings of the script. The dynamic sense of motion and anticipation, coupled with Harry's self-aware introduction of the narrative, perfectly encapsulates the writer's signature style.
Memorable Lines:
- NARRATOR: Thanks for coming. I guess you'd call this a detective story; there are dull parts, but there's a murder in it. Also a broken heart so I guess it's a love story. Oh, and everything's connected, it all loops back around, it's cool. My name's Harry Lockhart, I'll be your narrator. Welcome to L.A. Welcome to the party. (Scene 3)
- HARMONY: Do you know what time it is? (Scene 20)
- Harry: PUT THAT THING AWAY. (Scene 5)
- GAY PERRY: Yes, a talking monkey. Ugly sucker. Traveled here from the future, only says 'ficus.' Detective lessons, tomorrow. Don't forget. (Scene 16)
- HARRY: I CAN'T BELIEVE You· CUT OFF MY FINGER. (Scene 38)
Characters
Harry Lockhart:A down-on-his-luck thief turned amateur detective, struggling with his past and personal relationships.
Harmony Faith Lane:An aspiring actress with a troubled past, seeking closure regarding her sister's death and her family's history.
Gay Perry:A tough, sarcastic private investigator who assists Harry, providing both comic relief and critical support.
Harlan Dexter:A wealthy and manipulative figure linked to the central mystery, representing the darker side of Hollywood.
Aurelio:A menacing orderly at the clinic, serving as an antagonist during Harry's and Perry's investigation.
Story Shape
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
| Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall Grade | Concept | Plot | Originality Score | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
| 1 - Chaos at Denton Towers | Dark, Suspenseful, Cynical | 7.5 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 5 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 2 - A Rational Decision | Cynical, Introspective, Melancholic | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | |
| 3 - A Night in the Hollywood Hills | Cynical, Mysterious, Reflective | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 4 - Gala Discomfort | Cynical, Sarcastic, Witty | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 5 - Toy Store Heist | Humorous, Tense, Chaotic | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 6 - A Fatal Confrontation | Tense, Shocking, Dramatic | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 7 - Desperate Evasion | Tense, Suspenseful, Conflicted | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 7.5 | 8 | |
| 8 - Breaking Point | Tense, Emotional, Conflicted, Regretful | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | |
| 9 - Harmony's Duality | Cynical, Sarcastic, Dark | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 10 - Shadows of Innocence | Dark, Intense, Emotional | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 8 | |
| 11 - Echoes of the Past | Tense, Reflective, Regretful | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 7.5 | 8 | |
| 12 - A Night of Chaos and Sympathy | Suspenseful, Intense, Mysterious, Dramatic | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 13 - A Tense Standoff | Tense, Confrontational, Intense | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 7.5 | 8 | |
| 14 - Night Assault and Awkward Revelations | Dark, Humorous, Suspenseful | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 15 - Kitchen Banter and Meta Commentary | Sarcastic, Dark, Humorous | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6.5 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 16 - Valet Conversations | Humorous, Sarcastic, Light-hearted | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 5 | 8 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7.5 | |
| 17 - A Chance Encounter at the Domino Room | Sarcastic, Witty, Confrontational | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 8 | |
| 18 - Nostalgia and Regret | Reflective, Regretful, Nostalgic | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 19 - A Night of Misunderstandings | Playful, Intimate, Awkward | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 7.5 | 8 | |
| 20 - Late Night Confrontation | Tense, Emotional, Regretful | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 21 - Boring Surveillance and Derringer Banter | Humorous, Sarcastic, Intense | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 22 - Surveillance Disruption | Suspense, Humor, Mystery | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 5 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | |
| 23 - Nightmare at the Lake | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Shocking | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 24 - Misled at the Lakeside | Suspenseful, Dark, Mysterious | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8.5 | |
| 25 - Rainy Revelations | Tense, Melancholic, Shocking, Reflective | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 26 - A Night of Grief | Desolate, Emotional, Tense | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 8 | |
| 27 - Desperate Confessions and Dark Discoveries | Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 8 | |
| 28 - Panic in the Tub | Tense, Dark, Sarcastic | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 29 - Close Calls and Deceptions | Tense, Mysterious, Emotional, Intriguing | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | |
| 30 - Escape Under the Stars | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 31 - Chaos in the Shadows | Tense, Dark, Sarcastic, Intense, Emotional | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 32 - The Body Dump | Tense, Dark, Mysterious, Dramatic | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 8 | |
| 33 - Dusk Revelations | Serious, Emotional, Mysterious | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 8 | |
| 34 - Dusk Confrontation | Tense, Dramatic, Confrontational, Revealing | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 35 - A Desperate Encounter | Tense, Dark, Suspenseful | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 36 - A Chance Encounter at LAX | Tense, Mysterious, Emotional | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 37 - A Painful Revelation | Tense, Dramatic, Emotional, Suspenseful | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 38 - A Reckless Pursuit | Suspenseful, Dark, Humorous | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | |
| 39 - Party Tensions and Conspiracies | Suspenseful, Intense, Confrontational, Reflective | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 40 - Revelations in the Pantry | Suspenseful, Intense, Revealing, Emotional | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 41 - A Dark Encounter | Tense, Menacing, Shocking, Confused | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 42 - Urgent Decisions | Tense, Suspenseful, Frantic | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 43 - Night Encounter in Silverlake | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 7.5 | 8 | |
| 44 - Chaos in the Park | Tense, Suspenseful, Action-packed, Dramatic | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | |
| 45 - Chaos and Confessions | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Dark | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 46 - Echoes of the Past | Tense, Intimate, Reflective, Sensual | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 7.5 | 8 | |
| 47 - The Walk of Shame | Tense, Emotional, Confrontational | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | |
| 48 - Urgent Revelations | Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Intense | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 49 - Revelations at the Dexter Clinic | Suspense, Dark, Intense, Mysterious | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 50 - Confrontation at the Clinic | Tense, Menacing, Agitated | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 51 - A Fatal Misfire | Tense, Suspenseful, Confrontational, Dark | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 52 - Captured Chaos | Tense, Dark, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 53 - Holiday Torture | Tense, Dark, Suspenseful | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 54 - Escape from the Dexter Clinic | Tense, Confrontational, Sarcastic, Intense | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 55 - Frantic Escape | Tense, Frantic, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 56 - Chaos Under the Overpass | Intense, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 57 - Under the Overpass | Tense, Dramatic, Suspenseful, Emotional | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 58 - Twilight Revelations | Suspense, Drama, Mystery, Dark | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 59 - Confrontation in the Hospital | Intense, Confrontational, Emotional | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 60 - Twilight Reflections | Tense, Emotional, Surreal, Dark, Hopeful | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
Scene 1 - Chaos at Denton Towers
(2005)
You'll.Never Die·In This Town Again
by
Shane Black
NOVEMBER Revisie.ris
November 21, 2003
I stood upon a high place
And I saw, below, many deviis
Running, leaping,
And cavorting in sin.
One looked up, grinning,
And said, "Comrade! Brother!"
·stephen Crane
The entrance to the Denton Towers was
clogged with police cars and curiosity
seekers.
"Wonder what's wrong there?" Liddell
asked.
The cabby grunted. "Some dame probably
gave herself the deep six.. The joint's
full of kepties and every so often they
come out·of those windows like. leaves in
a rainstorm."
!
Frank Kane, BARE TRAP, 1954
FADE IN:
ECU of PAPER; you can see the pulp texture.
Pause. • • Another shape appears, bright RED and huge.
A THUMBNAIL. CAMERAbegins, slowly, to pull back •••
Ratings
Scene 2 - A Rational Decision
NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND
WHATI'M
GOINGTO DO TONIGHT. THAT'S OKAY.
Pulling back. Feminine a.ANDSnow, in view.
MY DECISION, HOWEVER,IS A RATIONAL,
COGNATIVEONE. . I CANNO LONGER
Stops. Finger taps the page thoughtfully. Reaches off
re-enters with a DICTIONARY. Flips through it.
COG-NI-TIVE, adj.
She scratches out the word COGNATIVE. COGNITIVE in its
place. Sets aside the dictionary. Continues:
I CAN NO LONGERPERSERVERE. IT MAY
COMFORT MY FATHERTO KNOWTHATMY SUICIDE
Grabs the dictionary. Flips through ••• PERSEVERE, v.
PERSERVEREwrong; PERSEVERE, that's got it .••
TO KNOWTHATMY SUICIDE IS DUE
ONLYPARTIALLYTO HIM.
A pause, then, as an afterthought:
YOUTHINK I'M STUPID, DADDYBUT I'M NOT
BLACKSCREEN. Pause. • • then we SUPER:
DAY ONE - 'l'ROOBLBIS MY BUSINESS
Ratings
Scene 3 - A Night in the Hollywood Hills
HILLS - NIGHT
The CAMERAroams the canyons west. Starts high in the
night air. DIPS toward the road, free-falling •••
Whooooosh •• ! Falls into line, alongside fast-moving
CARS, all rushing uphill ••• To an opulent HOUSE.
LIMOS rolling in, as we HEAR:
N.ARRATOR (V.O.)
It·' s haro to believe it was· just last
Christmas that .me and Harmony changed the
world. We didn't mean to; and it didn't
last long -- a thing like that can't.
(beat)
Thanks for.coming. I guess you'd call
this a detective story; there are dull
parts, but there's a.murder in it. Also
a broken heart so I guess it's a love
story. Oh, and everything's connected,
it all loops back around, it's cool. My.
name's Harry Lockhart, I'll be your
narrator. Welcome to L.A. Welcome to
the party.
Ratings
Scene 4 - Gala Discomfort
- NIGHT
Camera descends, huge GALAin·progress. Wall to wall
money. Two JUNIOR }\GENTSgo by, deep in debate:
ICM TYPE
Okay, you can own any film; you want STAR
WAAS? You can have it -- exact movie,
everything's 100%·the same -- except in
the middle, Yoda points and says, "Luke,
you dumbfuck! Quit dick.in' around and
pay attention." Then it goes back to
normal. Rest of the movie, exactly the
~- Would you invest •• ?
AN ALMOSTHANDSOME MANenters, dressed a tad shabby,
sports the only tie he owns; welcome HARRY, our narrator.
HARRY(V. 0. )
That's me: Harry. Now that I'm in L.A.,
I go to parties -- the kind where i~ a
girl is named Jill she spells it J-Y-L~L-
E, that bullshit. .
Before he's ten feet in, a tricked-out BLONDEapproaches:·
BLONDE
Hi. What do you do for a living?
No preamble; just like that. Harry smiles:
HARRY
I invented dice.
BLONDE
Oh.
. 3.
HARRY
And you •• ?·
The blonde shrugs. Says off-handedly~
BLONDE
I do a little acting.
FLASH: THE BLONDE, NAKEDatop Andrew Stevens. She looks
up, SHRIEKS--! A CREATURE swipes a CLAW at her. A bad
replica of her HEADblasts through a glass WINDOW.
BACK TO SCENE: The blonde smiles. Pause, then:
BLONDE
I'm gonna see who else is here.
She walks away. He watches her go. Shifts his gaze --
LOCATESTWO MEN ·in the crowd. One' s portly. sucks on· a
cigarette, then glares at it like it just made him angry.
The other is trim, wide-shouldered.
HARRY (V .O.)
Guy smoking, that's Dabney Shaw, my
producer; he "discovered" me. The man
walking with him is Perry van Shrike, AKA
Gay Perry; honest-to-God private eye,
consults in film, TV, Just incorporated,
he's big time.· Also he's gay.
Producer Shaw and Gay Perry wander.near another, OBVIOUS
GAYMAN (Perry is not obvious, F.Y.I,) and overhear:
OBVIOUSLYGAYMAN
.•• I said I wished I was Queen
Elizabeth, and he goes, noh, baby, you
sure you want to be a virgin Qµeen •• ?"
SHAW
{shakes his head)
All these gay stories. Christ •.
GAYPERRY
Scares you, that. sort of talk ••• ?
SHAW
Don't start, Perry~ Look, I seen you
play ball, I know you're tough, it's
just ••• you see a guy's wally, your brain
goes to, "I wanna grab that, for me,11
see, that's ..• that's a real lea~ •
(MORE)
../
SHAW(cont'd}
It's like, "Hey, an elephant -- Quick,
let's use its blood to paint my
boathouse." Not the first thing you
think of.
BACKWITH HARRY: He discovers a VAST ROOM-- 300 people.
HARRY(V .O.)
L.A. -- By now, you may wonder how i
wound up here ••• or maybe not, maybe you
wonder how Silly Putty picks shit up from
comic books, point is, I don't see
another Goddamn narrator, so pipe down.
How'd I get here? See for yourself.
CUT TO Bl.ACK. Pause ••• then, over black we SUPER:
HARRY
Ratings
Scene 5 - Toy Store Heist
TOY STORE. The east Village, Manhattan. The interior is
hushed, dark. Closed for business.
An idea which seems lost on HARRYLOCKHART. He pushes a
TRAM, heaped with toys he's stealing. Nearby, his pal
RICHIE BAUER; similarly engaged .
Harry's on a CEL PHONE. Speaking in hushed tones:
HARRY
Look, I'm going nuts here •. Say it again,
I must be missing something •••
YOUNGGIRL (O.S.)
Cyber-Agent: C-Y-B -- look, why don't you
ask, like, an employee or something?
· HARRY
They're all busy. Hahl Here. .'
Shines his light on a doll: PROTOCOP- Protector of Man.
HARRY
Protocop. is that it .• ? Protector of
Man, he protects men.
YOUNGGIRL (O.S.)
Dad. Look up. Is there a sign •. ?
Harry shifts the beam upward, sees: BARGAINBIN •
YOUNGGIRL (O.S.)
That show was cancelled two years ago.
Just ask a -- wait, are they·eveh open?
HARRY
Holiday hours. Look, I gotta go, I'll
find it --
ANOTHERANGLE- ON JUNCTIONBOX
We see the security system has been RE-ROUTED. Alligator
clips, bridging the circuit. Nice work --
Until a BUS GOES.BY outside. . Wall, vibrating. • • One of
the clips POPS free.
EXT. TOY STORE - NIGHT
A BURGLARALARM,ringing •. Continuous. HARRYand RICHIE
come bolting out of the store. Feet pounding.
SIRENS, now, as prowl cars respond to the call.
BAUER
Shit! Shit!
The men pitch forward into a big HEDGE. Crash through.
Into a courtyard, into someone's PARTY. BAUERpulls out
A HANDGUN. Waves it like a wand. People evaporate.
HARRY
PUT THAT THING AWAY.
BAUER
It's not loaded, we should load it--
. HARRY
We're not shooting anyone. Go right.
Ratings
Scene 6 - A Fatal Confrontation
LAUNDRY
Harry kicks the door, SPLINTERS it. They race inside.
Pull up short, sucking air. Harry shuts the door.
HARRY
We're good. We're not going down, hear
me? Richie. Hey. You with me •• ?
A VOICE rings out:
VOICE (O. S.)
FREEZE.·
It stops them cold. They turn as one --
BAUER
Oh, for Chrissakes.
It's a middle-aged.SOCIETY. WOMAN. In an EVENING GOWN.
Holding a GLOCKPISTOL.
HARRY
Ma'am ••• look, we •.• we didn't do
anything, we're not dangerous
BAUERlooks down: his own GUN, in plain sight
BAUER
Right! Look, ··see? It's not . even loaded.
He a.natches it up to SHOWher
HARRY
Richie, NO!
Bang--! Her gunshot passes THROUGH
HARRY'S ARM.
Kills his friend. BAUERcollapses •
Echo, dying away. Harry, in shock. Looks at his pierced
arm. Looks at his.buddy -- a cut-string puppet.
HARRY
You bitch •• !
13 THROWSthe gun. Just cioes it, without thinking. She 13
DUCKS
••• He finds the WINDOW. Takes a running start --
Ratings
Scene 7 - Desperate Evasion
. I
,Comes out, an explosion of glass. Hits, rolls. -- Comes
up rurming as the NEXT SHOT·blows splinters from a tree.
A POLICE CAR
Comes squawling .around the corner. Fuck. Harry flings
himself down an alley. The night, ALIVE with sirens.
He runs, breath sawing in and out. Rips off hfs jacket.
Doesn't break stride, wraps his bleeding arm.
' '
UP AHEAD: People, milling outside a doorway. Sipping
coffee. 'AA meeting on break? He slows to a brisk walk.
BEHINDHIM, a prowl car rounds the corner .
He's got 10 seconds. Nods to the group ahead. Hi, how
are you, I'm so fucking nonchalant, makes a production of
YAWNING,ho-hum, hope they catch that fugitive --
Ducks into the building, fast. Jacket,. masking his
wound. A POLICE SPOTLIGHTstabs into the foyer, shit •. !
Harry picks a door, any door. Goes through it, FAST --
INT. ROOM
A tidy office. THREE PEOPLE look up, surprised --
At Harry, sweating. Going into shock. His face twitches
and there's blood where Bauer SPRAYEDhim.
AN ELDERLYWOMAN
(frowns disapproval)
Sir, that's the wrong door. Please go
back out and wait with the others --
One portly man is studying Harry ••• abruptly interrupts:
MAN
Grace, I'd say this guy's ready to go.
Doesn't he look ready to go?
We recognize DABNEYSHAW, the producer from before. He
smiles encouragingly. Harry, bewildered -- What's going
on, don't they notice he can barely stand up •• ?
EXT. BUILDING - SAME TIME
The POLICE CRUISER stops; a COP gets out, scans faces as
Ratings
Scene 8 - Breaking Point
The seated trio watches, expectantly -- Harry's got.paper
in his hand. Gunshot wound, hidden. Blinks. Swallows.
Incredibly, begins to do an ACTING SCENE with the woman.
ELDERLYWOMAN
Where is he, where's Rafael?
Harry, shaking. Breathing hard. Reads:
HARRY
Um••• beat on me all night. You want me
to give up my client, you can go spit.
Harry is swaying. Close to blacking out. Jaw clenched,
We hear the COP, now. Outside the door~
ELDERLYWOMAN
Quit acting like the goodguy, jerkoff.
You got your partner killed.
Harry looks up, startled. Recovers, looks down --
. It's there. In the Goddamn script~ He swallows hard.
ELDERLYWOMAN
He was in over his head, you knew it.
You pulled that trigger. YOU killed him.
Harry leaps, SLAMShis fist on the desk. The casting
people jump -- He's delirious. Reality and fiction BLUR.
HARRY
I didn't kill him, he ••• he wanted in ••.
At which point, Harry begins to cry •. Wracking sobs.
HARRY
Why. • • Why' d he.. • • have to come in on it~
told him to stay home... • Stupid son of a
bitch. • • Shoulda been me, I killed him •• !
(breaks down, hugging himself)
.•. I'm sorry .•. I'm sorry .•.
Silence. Casting people, staring. Harry sobbing. THE
COP throws open the door, hand on his holster --
COP
Oh, wow, sorry.
(to Harry, lamely)
Good luck.
He leaves. The casting people look at Harry. At each
other. SHAWhas a gleam in his eye. Whispers:
SHAW
This tape goes in the L.A pouch. And get
me Gay Perry on the line, will you •• ?
He draws deep on his cigar ••. CUT BACKTO PRESENT DAY:
Ratings
Scene 9 - Harmony's Duality
HARRY, looking thoroughly out of place. Reaching for a
fork, his tie in the tomato sauce, we HEAR: ·
HARRY (V.O.)
Now they're screen-testing me, is that
wild? Anyway, that's how I got here •
(beat)
• (MORE)
HARRY(V.O.) (cont'd)
Now, Harmony -- different story, she was
destined to be here. That's her, by the
way, at the fireplace. Harmony Faith
Lane; IQ: 1_66. Job: Actress. Go figure.
New character -- our focus shifts to A WOMAN at the
fireplace. Alternately eating pizza, sipping coffee.
A predatory ICM TYPE listens, impatient, as she RANTS
· with a surprising fierceness:
HARMONY
••• yes, racist. I'm serious. Look, the
other reindeer laugh at him. They scorn
him -- then, out of the blue, they NEED
him for something, he's good as a
fucking .•• foglight, or whatever, so tell
me, how's that any different from, 'Don't
talk to Reggie, he's black. Oh, wait, he
can play basketball? Sign him .up!'
{yawns) .
Sorry. Worked a double shift, then
catered. Go ahead, ask me why I'm here.
God knows. Rudolph, we teach it to kids,
little kids. Hah. Want some coffee?
She gets up to fetch some, he never gets in a word .
CUT TO BLACK-- Pause •.• then SUPER:
HARMONY
HARRY (V .O.)
Most people would say Harmony got to the
party because of the stuff with the
robot. I'll get to that -- but for me?
The robot, uh-uh -- I'd go back a bit
farther~ Like I said, destiny.
CARNIVAL, CIRCA 197a - DAYTIME
EXT•. BACKYARD.
HARMONY, AGE 7: We're on her face. In the b.g., a sign:
Haroldthe Great, it reads sideways. Now the tricky
camera ROTATES45 degrees: the SIGN, no longer sideways. --
She's lying FLAT, encased by a paintedwooden BOX. Head
out one end, shoes the other. Big SMILE.••
HARMONY
Harold, use your awesome might-~ Save me
from this hopeless plight!
HAROLDTHE GREAT, age 9, nods to an OLDERKID: This kid
in turn revs a CHAINSAW,starts cutting through the box •
HARRY (V.O.)
She found her vocation early in life.
Chainsaw, ROARING. HAROLDflicks his WAND, intones:
HAROLD
Alakazaaaam----1
Harmony starts to SCREAM.
SHRIEKING. Writhing in agony. Tears streaming. Harold
stares dumbly. The kid with the saw, horrified~-
Chaos. ADULTSconverge on the scene. Harmony is
twitching. In shock. Her DAD leaps to the stage •. Grips
the lid, HEAVESOPEN THE.BOX. Eyes wide, staring --
Harmony is unmarked. Unscathed. She looks at her
father. Looks at Harold, solemnly says:
·HARMONY·
I'm going to be an actress.
She has time to smile before Daddy's BACKHAND
erases it •
Ratings
Scene 10 - Shadows of Innocence
- NIGUT
Harmony reads to sick MOM,. who lies in bed, beautific •.•
HARRY (V.O.)
Papa felt her slipping away ••. he blamed
her school, her friends ••• truth is, the
culprit was right down the hall; that's
right, Harmony's role model, growing up.
Her hero, her best friend~-
(move in on Morn)
Huh •• ? No, not her. Him•
Whoops--! The camera breezes PAST MOM ... stops on the
BOOKCOVER. . A steely-eyed MANeyeballs us. . . The Title:
You'llNever Die In This TownAgain - A Jonny Gossamer Th.tiller
HARMONY .
"'Go·to hell, Jonny Gossamer,' she told
me. She'd poured herself into a seamless
dress. From the look of it she'd spilled
some. 'Lady,' I said, 'Where I live,
it's not much of a commute ••• '"
HARRY (V. O.)
Jonny offered salvation; he spoke from.
the pages of cheap paperbacks, and told
of a promised land ••. called Los Angeles.
ECO: SILLY PUTTY - PEELED FROMA BOOKCOVER
JONNYGOSSAMER'Simage, unspooling before us, as --
EXT. FRONTPORCH- NIGHTTIME
HARMONY displays the putty to her SISTER JENNA, age 6.
Jenna grins -- BOUNCESit, watches it soar sky high •..
TIME CUT: BEDROOM
- LATE NIGHT
Separate beds. HARMONY
and JENNA; both asleep.
HARRY ( V. 0. )
She wished he was real, prayed he would
come to Indiana --
POV HARMONY: The sliver of LIGHT underneath the bedroom
door. Suddenly eclipsed by a SHADOW.
HARRY (V .o.}
. •. To save little sister Jenna --.who
Papa wouldn't leave alone.
· HAF.MONY, IN THE DARK, NOW
Staring numbly. Her sister's bed is now empty.
Outside the door, Papa's retreating footfalls. CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 11 - Echoes of the Past
Papa turns on an .upstairs LAMP, light STABS DOWNWARD
Illuminates the SILLY PUTTY••• Jenny's rugged face.
N9w hideously distorted, twisted. Looking up •••
Helpless to interfere.
. HARRY (V .o.)
After Mom died, the girls were bundled
off to Foster Care -- g·ood news for
Jenna.
(beat)
Not long after that, Harmony skipped.
FLASH TO: A BUS, TOOLINGDOWNI-79.
Inside, Harmony -- now a TEENAGER-- sleeps fitfully, a
Jonny Gossamer book in her lap. Her eyelid twitches •
HARRY (V .O.)
On the bus to L.A., she had a nightmare;
in it, her running away made the Foster
parents so mad that they gave her sister
back to Papa. Harmony woke up
sweating •.• then decided that this
couldn't happen, not in a good world
where heroes existed.
(beat)
She didn't stop the bus.
BACKTO THE PRESENT: PARTYHOUSE- HALLWAY
- NIGHT.
HARMONY, exhausted. She ambles along, sipping coffee.
Stops to admire a set of ·walnut bookshelves
HARRY ( V • O • )
And that's how she got to the same party
as me. Now, back to our sto --
The ONSCREENIMAGE abruptly FREEZES. Harry swears:·
HARRY (V. O.)
Shit, I skipped something. Dammit! The
whol·e robot bit, I make a big deal, and
then I, like, totally forget. Fuck .
This is bad narrating. Like my Dad
telling a joke, "Oh, wait! Back up, I
forgot to tell you, the cowboy rode a
blue horse." Fuck. Anyway, I don't even
know if you wanna see it now, but here's
the fucking robot·stuff, for your viewing
pleasure. I'm gonna look for something
else to fuck up. Can I say fuck more?
Ratings
Scene 12 - A Night of Chaos and Sympathy
- NIGHT
HARMONY,age 34; splayed across the bed. Reading.
•In the background, the blue flicker of late-nite TV.
ANNOUNCER { ON TV)
Now back to PROTOCOP,starring Jeff Neal.
ANGLEON TV -- PROTOCOPblows holes in drug dealers.
Harmony looks up at the screen for a moment.
She puts aside her book ••• reaches for the TV remote and
that's when she hears the loud THUMP.
Her head snaps upward, alert -- CRASH! No mistake this
time. Breaking glass. She snatches up a wooden BAT•
Meanwhile, no HINT of caution by the intruder. CLUMPING
footsteps. Ponderous. Harmony inches down the hall •••
Reaches a corner. Hazards a look --
SENSE DEPARTS. Fish grow wings; the Cubs win it in four.
PROTOCOP, PROTECTOROF MAN-- all six-five of him.
Pneumatic joints. Robot HEAD, swiveling. Impossible.
His back is to her. She darts a look at her bedroom:
TV SCREEN -- PROTOCOP. Someone's throwing acid on him.
Returns her gaze to the kitchen
Can't be real; she says, as the crimefighter bumps her
cookie jar to the floor, where it SHATTERS--
And that's when it gets REALLYweird. The robot bends,
joints clicking ••• Starts to eat the cookies. He's
brought cheap WINE to wash them down. Enough is enough:
HARMONY
HEY, YOU! FREEZE!!
The behemoth reacts, STARTLED-! Stands. WHACKShis head
on a cabinet. Lurches drunkenly onto the BALCONY--
Slips on a coiled HOSE. Crashes through the flimsy
railing. Silence ••• followed by a distant THUD.
CUT TO: VIDEO FOOTAGE- $LIGHTLY GRAINY
Flashing lights. Crime scene tape. A REPORTERdoes a
stand-up, breath pluming in the chill air:·
REPORTER(TO CAMERA)
••• sources close to N:eal, who has not.
worked as an actor in two years, said he
seemed despondent earlier tonight, during
a re-run of PROTOCOP. The actor, who ·
retains the costume he wore on the.show,
allegedly dressed up, stumbled down the
canyon road, and wandered into this
Hollywood Hills guest house~-
(points behind him)
-- where aspiring actresss Harmony Faith
Lane was shocked to discover him.·
ANGLEON HARMONY
- VIDEO INTERVIEW
HARMONY
I.' d jog by, "hi, hello, 11 that kind of
thing ••• I feel for the guy, it's like •••
it's like this city can't get enough of
messing with people; like putting a·
whoopie cushion on the seat o·f the
electric chair. Like that.
PULL BACK-- from a 52-inch.SCREEN. WIDEN to reveal a
paneled OFFICE .•• Producer DABNEYSHAWlooks up briefly
SHAW.
Huh. Those are some tits.
(to his assistant))
Find out who she is, invite her to
something.
HARRY (V .O.)
And there .it was. Destiny, bingo.
BACKTO THE PRESENT: PARTY HOUSE- HALLWAY
- NIGHT
HARMONY,exactly where we left her. Admiring BOOKS.
Having coffee. Starts to turn away. Turns back, blinks:
HER POV: It's the Jonny Gossamer books. All of them •
She can scarcely believe it.· Reverently withdraws the
titles, one by one from the. shelf, scanning covers .••
Small Town Boy Makes Dead * little Girl Lust * Die Job
She shuffles off, still clutching a book ••• CUT TO:.
Ratings
Scene 13 - A Tense Standoff
- SAME
FLOP. Harmony hits the bed. Two days, no sleiep. She
drowses off ••• book slipping from slack fingers.
Lies, skirt hiked, hip laid bare. Party noise,
continuous~ The door opens
The ICM TYPE we saw earlier peers in. Debates, if only
briefly Enters. Shuts the door behind him.
Stands over her. Puts a hand on her thigh, squeezes ••••
VOICE (O.S.)
You'd better be her doctor •
I
_/
The guy spins around, caught -- HARRYstands framed in
the doorway. Big as life. Eyes flat. Cold •
HARRY
Walk away. Don't think. Just do it.
ICM TYPE
Why? What are you, her brother or
something •• ? ·. This is none of your
business. I'll fuck you up, man.
HARRY
No. You'll try, and that little
experiment will end in tears, my friend.
The guy stares at him. Makes no move to leave.
HARRY
Again, for the cheap seats -- do not
THINK.. Walk. • • the fuck. • • away. Or
let's you and me go outside, but it's
past my bedtime, MPuCE .A CHOICE.
Eyes flat. Dead. Other guy thoroughly unnerved, CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 14 - Night Assault and Awkward Revelations
Harry gets the shit beat out of him •
The ICM guy has him on the ground. Harry curled up in a
defensive ball ••• The guy WAILING ON HIM. over and over.
The guy spits on Harry. Walks back inside the house.
Harry kneels, sucking air. A shadow falls across him
GAY PERRY reaches out, helps him to his feet.
HARRY
Thanks.·.. One of these days, buddy.·.?
I'm gonna actually learn how to fight.
POV - HARRY: He sees HARMONY,stagger to a car. Gets in,
as the ICM type hops behind the wheel, roars off •.•
GAY PERRY ---
You okay, man? Want some peroxide •• ?
HARRY
Nah. Thanks, though.
GAYPERRY
(extends a hand)
Perry van Shrike. ·.
HARRY
Harry Lockhart. Whoa, wait a: minute, I
heard about you, um, the whatchamacallit,
the consultant, you must be --
(stops himself)
urn, I mean .••
GAYPERRY
Gay Perry?
HARRY
(feigns ignorance)
Oh! Right, right, ha, ha. Dabney calls·
you that. You guys must be old buddies.
GAY PERRY
Five years now.
HARRY
Five years, wow. You still gay?
GAYPERRY
No, I'm hip-deep in pussy, I just liked
the name so much I couldn't change it.
Ratings
Scene 15 - Kitchen Banter and Meta Commentary
Harry winces as Perry applies peroxide to the cut lip.
GAYPERRY
Dabney wants you to take detective
lessons.
HARRY
Corne again?
GAY PERRY
He's into this "method" thing, says you
are, tob. Hold still ••• - 1
(daubs beneath Harry's eye)
Tomorrow I got a surveillance, you game?
HARRY
Surveillance. Who's the guy, like, a
crimelord or something? ·
GAYPERRY
Please. I'm guessing a sad, lonely
little man who singlehandedly haunts his
own house up in the hills.
Harry stares -- whistles.softly:
HARRY
Wow. That was incredibly gay.
Just then the HOST happens by,. double-takes at Harry:
DEXTER
Good·God --
HARRY
You should see the other guy.
GAY PERRY
Harry, I'd like yo~ to meet Harlan
Dexter. our generous host.
DEXTER
Ah, of course! You're Dabney's golden
boy. From back east. I hope it isn't
past your bedtime.
HARRY
No, sir. Mom used to say I had the neon
disease. When the neon lights came on,
I'd wake up.
DEXTER
I'm afraid I'm similarly afflicted. My
daughter lived 10 years in Paris, says
it's heaven for the vampire set --
SUDDENLY,everything FREEZES. The film comes to a.
screeching STOP. Folks suspended, mid-sentence, we HEAR--
HARRY (V. O.)
Okay, I apologize. That is a terrible
scene; it's like, why was that in the
movie, gee, you think it'll COMEBACK
LATER,. MAYBE? I hate that, a TV's on,
talking about the new power plant, hrnmm,
wonder where the climax will happen; or
the shot of the cook in HUNTFOR RED
OCTOBER. So anyhow, sorry.
THE MOVIE RESUMES. Dexter sees a mammoth CAKE go by:
Happy Birthday Ronnie, it pinkly proclaims.
DEXTER
Excuse me, apparently, I'm to help cut
this monstrosity.
Dexter leads it OUTSIDE, where a generic L.A. blonde
shrieks, gives Daddy. a big old hug ••. Perry scowls:
18 •
GAYPERRY
Mom's gone; now it's just him and his
little born-again bundle of joy.
HAARY·
Precious.
GAY PERRY
Isn't it, though?
(chuckles)
Three months ago she was prosecuting him,
· he called her a cunt. Welcome to L.A.
HARRY (V .o.)
More exposition, please. Christ, we're
really shoveling it.
Ratings
Scene 16 - Valet Conversations
The valets are. busy chasing some DEER out of the road
as HARRY& GAY PERRYwait for their cars.
HARRY
••• That girl tonight, man, I'm tellin'
you, she had this • • • guali ty, like •.•
like the girl in high school, you know
the one you never could have? The one
still haunts you .• ?
GAY PERRY
I had that . Bobby Mills •.
Harry makes a lemon face; Perry tips the valet, gets in
his car. Harry, trying lamely for camraderie --
HARRY.
You should, um, track him down. I aot ·
five bucks says you could still get 1 him.
I
GAY PERRY
That's funny.· I got a ten, says, "Pass
the pepper. " And a couple quarters, do
harmony on "Moonlight in Vermont."
HARRY
Huh?
GAY PERRY·
Talking money.
HARRY
A talking monkey?
GAYPERRY
Yes, a talking monkey. Ugly sucker.
Traveled here from the future, only says
"ficus." Detective lessons, tomorrow.
Don't forget.
{starts to pull away, stops)
Oh, and Harry, your girl •• ? I know her,
she did some work for me. You might try
the Domino Room.
With that, he roars off down the sloping drive -- CUT TO:
FINGERS ON A KEYBOARD. An upbeat riff ushers us into:
Ratings
Scene 17 - A Chance Encounter at the Domino Room
HARRYenters the bar. Orients himself. Eyes, roving ••.
AnABUNDANTLY-BREASTEDGIRL comes up to him:
GIRL
Hey, there. I'm Flicka.
HARRY
Hey.
GIRL
What do you do?
Again the question. Harry blinks.
HARRY·
I'm a private detective. You?
GIRL
Stewardess.
(pause, then:}
Nice to meet you. 'Bye.
Wanders off. Easy come, easy go. He scans the crowd
THERE. Harmony. At the bar. No sign of the asshole
from before. Instead, a semi-attractive female FRIEND.
As he watches, the FRIEND heads for the bathroom.
Harmony alone, bingo he ambles up, trying for slick:
HARRY
'Evening. I'm Harry.
He winces, makes a show of rubbing his shoulder .
HARRY
Mrnmm. Sore~
(cracks his neck)
I .mean physically, not, you know·, like a
guy who's angry in the 1950 's.
(beat) ·
I'm visiting from New York. Um, I think
I saw you at a party, couple hours ago •• ?
She doesn't look up. Sips her drink, says:
HARMONY
Why?
HARRY
Why what?
HARMONY
Why me? .Seriously, how about that girl
sitting over there, look, she's very
pretty.
HARRY
Which one?
HARMONY
On the left. Next to bald Kevin Costner.
Indicates a bald guy. Looks vaguely like Kevin.Costner.
HARRY
Jesus, that's reaching. Um, look, I'm
interrupting, I feel badly, at least let
me buy you a-- ·
HARMONY
Bad.
HARRY
Bad. Urn, what's--?
HARMONY
You feel bad. Badly Is an adverb, so to
"feel badly" would be saying that the
mechanism which allows you to feel is
broken.
HARRY
Well, then.
( clears his throat).
That girl over.there, you said •• ?
HARMONY
Which way you lookin' •• ?
(shakes her head)
Nix,·nix, that's the blonde; blonde;s
pathetic.
HARRY
Pathetic, I see. Because •• ?
HARMONY
Well, for starters, she's been fucked
.more times than she's had hot meals.
HARRY
Right~ I heard about that, it was neck
and neck, then she skipped lunch --
HARMONY
.Worst thing, though •• ?
HARRY
Do tell.
HARMONY
Worst thing is she'· s 35 years old,• still
trying to~. I see her in auditions;
It's over~ baby, you missed. Get a clue •
HARRY
That's charitable of you.
(beat)
Mind if I ask how old you are?
HARMONY
Go for it.
HARRY
Okay. Bow old are you?
HARMONY
Thirty-four.
(chews ice}
I'm a baby.
She grins. Upends her glass.
HARRY
Where's your buddy? The guy you left the
party with?
22 •
HARMONY
Fucking asshole. I just needed a ride.
(eats peanuts)
Sorry. I swear a lot. Did you know the
host? I didn't. He looked really
familiar, though. Probably an actor.
Before he can reply, the FRIEND returns.
FEMALEFRIEND
Buzz, buzz. Go away, Mister fly.
HARRY
I'm talking to your friend here.
FEMALEFRIEND.
Yeah, well, she doesn't wanna talk to
you. Leave.
HARRY
Easy, Sunshine, I'll have her back to you
in a miriute.
FEMALEFRIEND
She doesn't have a minute •
He starts to retort -- bites it back. What's the point?
HARRY
If you .change your mind about that drink,
I'll be over there with old Timothy
Hutton.
Harmony glances over-~ blurts a LAUGH. Can't help it,
he's spot-on. Harry gestures to the bartender to cover
the girls' drinks. Debates which credit card to use --
I
HARMONY
grabs his. VISA card. Makes it dance on the bar:
I
HARMONY
Pick me, pick me!
(deep bass voice:)
No, pick l!lla! ·
She grabs his MASTERCARD. Makes the two cards fight.
Harry looks at her like she's grown a tail •. She giggles.
FEMALEFRIEND
Stop it! Why are you humoring him?
(to Harry:)
There's a table in that far corner •• ?
It's a recommended cheeseball hangout •
HARRY
Your mouth is a recommended place to put
a sock.
(beat)
Princess ••• Scary friend •.. Goodnight.
He shrugs on his coat. Turns away. HARMONY,looking
more and more agitated, until, finally
HARMONY
Goddammit, Harry Lockhart, are· you gonna
_recognize me or not?
That stops him. He turns back, frowning. Squints --
HARMONY
Embrey, Indiana!
(he's still frowning)
Loved snakes, scared of spiders •• ?
· ( exasperated) . .·
God's sakes, you -- you were the .Amazing
Harold, no, HAROLDTHE GREAT, you cut me
in half, remember? ·
HARRY
God ••• My God, Harmony •• ? Is that you?
Realization, dawning. Both frozen in place --
. Then she smiles and so does he and the years all drop and
shatter. He ENGULFSher in a hug. SPINS her.
The FRIEND gapes in disbelief. CUT TO BLACK
HARRY (V .O.)
Okay, Okay. I was ..a bad narrator, I ·
skippe~ something. The little kid, the
one who ·cut her in.half? The magician,
right, that kid. Well, that was me. I
·apologize. Harry, Harold, you shoulda
caught that. Some detectives.
Ratings
Scene 18 - Nostalgia and Regret
Harmony's FRIEND, dazed. out of it. Head tilted back.
HARMONY strips the label from a beer bottle, frowning ••.
HARMONY
Leaving my sister. . . Leaving her alone
back there •• ? Hardest thing I ever did.
Harry can't stop staring, mesmeriz·ed. We HEAR, supered:
• Connections.
HARRY (V .O.)
Remember how I said this
high school chick haunted me? How seeing
Harmony made me think of her .• ?
FLASH TO: PEP RALLY - CHEERLEADERS
Young HARMONY,age 16, among them. Kicking. Cheering.
HARRY (V .O.)
Well, that's 'cause it fucking WAS her,
I'm, like, the stupidest motherfucker on
earth.
{sighs)
It all came flooding back, how I was the
one she confided in; the one she trusted.
Mean~hile, she was doing every other guy
in school.
· BASEBALLDUGOUT- TWILIGHT
Her head leans against YOUNGHARRY's- chest. She's
crying.
HARRY (V .O.)
It was the first time I felt it, how
pitying someone and wanting to fuck them
can get all tangled up in your head.
overwhelming sadness, meanwhile you got a
Rodney. Is that sick? I think that's
sick.
BACK TO PRESENT DAY: HARMONY,tipsy. Excitedly
reminiscing.
i
HARMONY-
Hey-1 Remember when we were real l~ttle,
a movie crew came to town?
HARRY
Right •• ! Mystery flick, who the hell was
the detective, Jonny something
HARMONY
Gossamer.
HARRY
Jonny Gossamer, right. Your Mom bought
all the books. Went nuts.
HARMONY
God, that was forever ago •
Pause •.• then,
. very quietly,
.
she says:
HARMONY
.I didn't get famous, H'arry.
He watches her flatten the beer label in her palm.
Leans forward, very intense, pronounces one word:
HARRY
Yet.
Ratings
Scene 19 - A Night of Misunderstandings
HARRYANDHARMONY. Laughing, silly... They walk, hips
brushing. The female FRIEND waits sullen in a nearby car.
HARRY
•.. You're shitting me. Which one?
HARMONY
With the bear that goes, I prefer
Genero'~, but I'm a --
HARRY
I'm a bear, I suck the heads off fish,
that was you?
HARMONY
Yeah, well .•• Woo-hoo, commercial.
She waves dismissively. Harry frowns:
HARRY
What are you, nuts? You, like, beat the
odds. National commercial
HARMONY
Harry. Stop.
HARRY
I musta watched that thing a hundred
times """.-
HARMONY
Harry, · it •s NOTHING, it ' s bullshit, well , .
okay, actually there·was one sorta cool
moment, I do this little wave --
( catches herself).
NO. Forget it. It was nothing special •
HARRY
Yeah? Well, guess what, black Patrick
Swayze doesn't think so.
He points to a black man at a pay phone. The guy does,
he looks like Swayze. Harmony sprays liquor.
A pregnant pause. Harry feels giddy, Light-headed.
HARRY
Listen. Come back to my hotel. Bring
your friend. One drink, swear. You'll
be home faster'n you can say Jack
Robinson.
HARMONY
Maybe, maybe not, I can say Jack Robinson
really fast, listen: jackrobinson.
He tilts her chin up. She meets his gaze, brazen •••
SLOWMOTION, she upends the flask, drinks ••• Never breaks
eye contact. They're gonna have sex. CUT TO:
INT. HARRY'S HOTEL SUITE - BEDROOM
- NIGHT
Sex, in progress. Two LUMPS, swaddled in a Polo
comforter. Rolling around together CUT TO:
SAMEPLACE - SEVERALHOURSLATER
Harry comes awake slowly. Senses a warm body, moulded
against him. Glances over in that direction --
Swears violently. It's not Harmoriy; it is, of course,
the FRIEND. He claps a hand to his head. Looks at his
watch -- 4:42 a.m. Eases out of bed, grabs his pants ••.
Tiptoes into the LIVING ROOM. Spots her purse. Grabs
it, roots inside. ADDRESSBOOK. Finds the page •••
EXT. L.A. CITY STREET
Harry's rental car blows by, down Sunset Blvd.
Ratings
Scene 20 - Late Night Confrontation
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. Pause... The door opens. HARMONY
is there. Terry cloth robe. Hair in disarray. Pissed:
HARMONY
Do you know what time it is?
HARRY
I know, I know. I'm really sorry.
God ••• you still look great. stunning.
HARMONY
What are you doing here?
HARRY
Good -question. This will sound crazy;
but ••• I don't remember the hours between
twelve and two. It's a blur --
HARMONY
Where's Marleah?
(off his look:)
Marleah? The girl you
HARRY·
Marleah, right. Fell asleep at my place.
I don't remember seeing you leave --
HARMONY
I left when you still had your tongue
down her throat.
HARRY
(blanches)
Really •• ? Oh, no, no •••. That's. . . wrong
throat. Wrong one, that' s bad •.•
HARMONY
You got ten seconds.
HARRY
Okay, okay. I came here be.cause •••
(deep breath)
It sounds nuts. I just think you're 1
so
intelligent, and so·attractive, I
HARMONY
Okay, stop. That's.plenty.
HARRY
But I
HARMONY
ENOUGH. Oh••• my••• God. You come here
at five in the morning to tell me how
much you like me, after you just fucked
my friend?
HARRY
No, no, see, that's just it -- I didn't.
HARMONY
You said you don't remember!!
HARRY
Right! And if I was that drunk, :t could
never have gotten it up. See?
(beat)
Look, I know. this is ••. outrageous. I'm
not pretending. it's normal, or that I'm
. normal. I just ••• chickened out, .and -,-
He yanks his hand back, BARELYin time to keep his
fingers. SLAMM!!!! He's alone. Begins to walk --
As the streetlights blink off, one by one.
INSIDE WITH HARMONY
- AT THE WINDOW
She peers after him. Waits 'til he's far enough away.
Then lets go and when the tears come, they gush •.•
HARRY (V .O.)
.I think about that night ••• The last
sane one, as it happens. See, I was
about to begin detective lessons.· I'd
continue to attract pretty L.A. women .•.
but none of .them would be breathing.
CUT TO BLACK•. A pause •.• then we SUPER:
DAY 'l'WO-- THE LADY IN THE LAKE
Ratings
Scene 21 - Boring Surveillance and Derringer Banter
SLEET rushes out 'of the dark •. Pelts the windshield.
GAYPERRY drives, Harry beside him. Car, a mellow
coccoon. A sign reads Big Bear Lake, 5 Miles.
HARRY
-- See, Jonny Gossamer would always take
two cases, right? Seemingly unrelated.
One's normal and the other, it's always
some wild shit; then at the end they're
connected, see, it's all one case.
GAYPERRY
Yeah, I get that all the time. Hey,
could you not root around in there--?
Harry's pawing through the glove box. Extracts a small
nickel-plated DERRINGER. Whistles softly.
HARRY
Tiny. Is it real?
GAY PERRY
(nods)
Derringer. Fires three rounds. I call
it my "faggot gun."
HARRY
Because--?
GAYPERRY
Because it's good -for three shots, then
you drop it and find something better.
Harry's face contorts, like he just ate cat litter. He
replaces the gun. Perry chuckles.
GAYPERRY
You asked, chief, Back to the lesson.
Our client, so you know, is one Allison
Ames, A-M-E-S ,· female. She's paying for
a video surveillance •
Harry dutifully takes out a pad, writes AMES.
GAYPERRY
Stopped by her house today? Ms. Ames is
there with nothing on but a radio.
Lights a cigarette, sits in my lap •••
HARRY
Really?
GAY PERRY ,
Of course not, idiot. Hired me over'the
phone, paid by credit card. This job is
not interesting. It's boring, write that
down, use like, three extra o's.
Booooring. Good. Now circle it.
HARRY
Circled. Five o's plus I drew a picture
of a little sleeping guy, see •• ?
GAY PERRY
Good. Now eat the paper, which is better
than the drive-thru food we'll be having
on our surveillance .
Ratings
Scene 22 - Surveillance Disruption
HARRYand GAYPERRY come loping into view, hunched low •••
Squat behind a woodpile, out of sight. Perry removes his
gloves. Takes out a mini-cam, grins:
GAY PERRY
Our Ms. Ames wants up close, through-the-
window footage. Glamourous, huh? Hand
me the blue bag.
(beat}
So what's the deal with your girl, she
dissed you in high school, you said •• ?
HARRY
Huh? Oh. No, not really. I mean,
she ••• fucked everyone but me. That's
not true either, she made a concession.
Agreed not to fuck my best friend Chock
Chutney, ·.even if he asked.
GAY PERRY
That was nice of her. Okay. Stay put,
stay quiet.
Perry hunkers forward, toward the wood-shingled house --
at which point, THE LIGHTS GO OUT inside.
Perry stops in his tracks. Ears pricked. Now what .• ?
The front.DOOR begins to open. Perry BOLTS. Back behind·
the woodpile, just in time --
As a LARGEMANexits the cabin. Crosses to his parked
car, whistling. A hooded parka makes an ID impossible.
HARRY
Where the hell's he going?
GAY FERRY
How the hell should I know? I.didn't
make these arrangements, my client did.
They listen as the car engine REVS TO LIFE --
Along with it, a repetitive THUDDINGsound. Rhythmic.
HEADLIGHTSsweep past -- the guy's leaving.
. HARRY
What's wrong with his car?
GAYPERRY
What do I look like, his fucking .
mechanic? Grab that bag and follow me.
Ratings
Scene 23 - Nightmare at the Lake
PERRY'S Jaguar drifts to the shoulder, lights
extinguished. Both men emerge, silent.
HARRY
There. Up ahead.
Harry points through the trees to ANOTHERCAR, pulled
over under a canopy of pines. Perry shakes his head:
GAYPERRY
Not him. Not the same car.
HARRY
What the hell? He' s gotta somewhere, he .
turned off right in front of us --
They trudge forward, into the frozen woods. CUT TO:
EXT. LAKE'S EDGE - NIGHT
The two men reach the end of a rutted dirt TRACK. The
trees give way abrpptly -- Nothing. Only the lake.
They exchange bewildered looks. Birds call. Wind blows.
HARRY
Where is he?
Just then, as if on cue-~ a CAR ENGINE becomes audible.
Approaching through the woods at a good clip.
GAY.PERRY.
Get down.
He grabs Harry, they both go over the embankment.
Stumble downward 30 feet. Perry clutches the video case~
Up top, the ENGINE, drawing closer. HEADLIGHTS, above·
them now. • • Keeps coming. • • Something' s not right.
They realize simultaneously: the car's NOT SLOWING.
They DIVE for cover--!
Hit the dirt, HUG it, while above them TREES AND BRUSH
DETONATE,blasted to splinters as the CAR launches --
_
SAILS OUT.INTO SPACE. Executes a lazy roll in mid-air •••
SLAMSTO EARTH. Gouges it •• !
Two feet from HARRY'S HEAD. Snow ERUPTS•. · Slams him.
Fills his mouth. He rolls to water's edge, looks up --
•Sees the vehicle BOUNCE, upside down ••• •Out into the
frigid lake. Impacts. ·.Hood crumpled. Car, bobbing,
headlights· spearing every which-way.
He can't remember getting to his feet, but suddenly HARRY
is moving forward. Vision blurred. Choking on snow.
Plunges into the water. Flaps and flounders. to the car.
Driver side panel, at water level. He HEAVES-- wrenches
it open. Eyes darting left~ right. Reacts, startled:
The car has no driver. tnterior, empty. Registers
briefly that the GAS PEDAL is wedged to the floor.
Harry backs off, sputtering. Walk-stumbles toward shore,
NUMB,but now what's this, running. full out, it's PERRY
YELLING something. Hard to hear, sound muffled •••
GAYPERRY
Get the keys, in the ignition, THE KEYS!
Harry looks at him, half-witted --
GAYPERRY
The sound, the sound we heard, GRABTHE
FUCKINGKEYS.
PERRY, blundering headlong through the water. Legs
churning, as, wi~hout warning -- THE CAR GOES UNDER..
All in a rush, whooooosh •• J TRUNK, last thing to go
Perry goes with it. Harry watches, thunderstruck, as the
detective PLUNGESinto the freezing water. Vanishes.
The surface appears pitch BLACK.
From underwater, a muffled report, BANG--/ Pause.
HARRY, helpless. He stares. Shaking with cold •••
PERRY SURFACES. Comes swarming up out of the deep. Arms
locked AROUNDSOMETHING,a sodden shape --
GAYPERRY
.•• Help me .•• God ••. d-dammit •• !
HARRYis there, clutching Perry. Hauling him up, then
just as quickly recoiling --
As a GIRL IN A FLOWERDRESS emerges from the water like a
Kraken •. Perry gestures frantically to.GRAB HER ARMS.
Num1::>ly,Harry complies
SHORE - SECONDS LATER
The GIRL flops from their grasp. Hits, lies still.
Hair, plastered across her face. PERRY collapses.
GAY.PERRY
.•• L-locked in the trunk •• had to ••• to s-
shoot it open •••
He looks over at her -- lets out an anguished sound.
POV PERRY: A dead doll in a flower-print dress.
HARRY
Is .•. is she dead •• ?
GAYPERRY
No ••• she's j-just ••. resting her eyes,
of COURSEshe's fucking d-dead ••• her
neck is broken. • • ·
The girl's skirt is hiked, she has no underwear.
Harry tugs the dress down, a useless bit of chivalry.
·. Perry scans the trees • Reacts , startled --
TWOMEN IN SKI MASKSstaring down at him. He locks eyes
with one, briefly -- Then they BOLT. Into the trees.
AN ENGINE ROARS•. Squeal of tires as a CAR drives off.
HARJlY
That car we saw ••• you get the plate?
GAYPERRY
Didn't •.• b-bother.
HARRY
Me neither.
(beat)
So, this sort of thing happen a lot?
Perry shoots him a look. ' .
J
HARRY
Easy, man, kidding. Come on, let's beat
it before the cops show.
GAYPERRY
Nix. We. . • go straight to the cops •
HARRY
Exactly, the cops, who will have no
trouble believing that she broke her
neck •••
, {points)
BEFOREyou shot her in the head.
Her face, what we see of it, appears beaten to a pulp --
Scalp, deeply GOUGEDby a bullet.
Perry's bullet. He groans, buries his face in his hands.
Wind, soughing... From the rippling lake, a soft
splash ••. Perry struggles to his.feet. Shivering.
GAYPERRY
Okay. We're outta here.
(frowns)
Where's my gun?
Harry shifts, uneasy. Swallows hard:
HARRY
I.~. I got rid of it.
GAYPERRY
Say again?
HARRY
Just now. I threw it in the lake. .I
figured, if you wouldn't do it, I would,
I got priors in New York, man, I can't be
doing this --
GAYPERRY
You threw it away77
He storms toward Harry --
HARRY
Hey, take it easy--!
Perry stops. Takes a deep breath. Composes himself •
GAYPERRY
It's okay. I •.• I get it, it's okay. I
just got a little non-plussed •.• Sorry.
(pauses, frowning)
Whoa. What the hell •• ?
Kneels beside the VIDEO case. Gingerly pokes at it:
GAYPERRY
What do you make of this .. ?
Harry leans in to look Perry BOUNCESHIS HEAD off the
case. Leaves a dent •.
GAYPERRY
WHATWEREYOUTHINKING?
Harry staggers backward, swearing. Grips his head.
GAYPERRY
You idiot! You threw my $650 vintage.
revolver in the Goddamn lake, what about
when they. comb the bottom, ever cross
your mind, they find that car, they'll
find the GODDAMN GUN???
He stands, runs a hand through his hair •
GAYPERRY
Jesus. Look •UP "idiot" in the
dictionary; know what you'll find?
HARRY
Picture of me?
GAY PERRY
NO. The definition of the word IDIOT,
which you fucking ~rel
He turns, fuming. Stomps his way up the embankment.
Ratings
Scene 24 - Misled at the Lakeside
PERRY.drives. He's donned a dry pair of sweats. Beside
him Harry"s still soaked, shivering. Perry's mood: foul.
GAY PERRY
Bitch. Lies to me, drags me up here to
watch a Goddamn murder ••• I swear, I'll
( stops suddenly, points: ) ·
Hey. Over there. See those tracks ••• ?
They weren .'t there before; they' re new •
They exchange puzzled looks. Pause ••• Perry turns off
onto the same rutted dirt TRACK. CUT TO: .
HARRYAND PERRY STAND, STUNNED
Staring forlornly. Overlooking the exact~ beach
Now utterly devoid of CORPSES. Female or otherwise.
Serene. Peaceful. Water placid.
HARRY
Maybe she, um, ••• wasn't dead?
GAYPERRY
Piss off. I could reach in and touch her
exposed brain.
HARRY
Right. so ... the tide drew her out.
GAY·PERRY
What tide, IT'S A LAXE.
He shakes his head, gazes out across the dark water.
. GAYPERRY
We're getting out of here, now,· and this
_shit better be improving your acting.
Ratings
Scene 25 - Rainy Revelations
BUILDING- NIGHT
RAIN, constant. Perry pulls up beside Harry's rental.
HARRY
Sorry about the gun.
GAYPERRY
Whatever. Out. Go. Sleep badly. Any
questions, hesitate to call.
HARRY
"Bad"
GAYPERRY
Excuse me?
HARRY
Sleep bad.
GAYPERRY
No -- "badly," it's a fucking adverb.
Who taught you grammar?
I
Harry exits into a DOWNPOUR.Barely shuts the door,
Perry's driving off. Harry fumbles for his own keys
BRAKELIGHTS. Harry looks up in time to see PERRY
reverse -- Pulls along~ide again. Window slides down:
HARRY
Look, you don't have to apologize
GAYPERRY
Eat shit. You forgot this.
He holds out Harry's eel phone, which is RINGING. Makes
no move to let Harry in the car. Harry frowns. Leans
through the window. Answers the call, half in, half out:
HARRY
Hello •• ?
VOICE (O.S.) ··
I'm trying to locate Harry Lockhart.
HARRY
Speaking.
VOICE (O.S.)
Mr. Lockhart, I'm Detective Sergeant
Kale, L.A.P.D. Robbery/Homicide Division.
Mind answering a question or two?
Harry's stomach does a slow, lazy roll •••
HARRY
Of course, Officer. Fire away.
In the car, Perry suddenly goes rigid. Ears pricked
VOICE (O.S.)
Thank you. Are you familiar with a woman
by the name of Harmony Faith Lane?
HARRY
I ••• What's this in reference to?
VOICE (O.S.)
I'm contacting names in a pocket book, by
all indications Ms. Lane's. Your number
appears on a piece of paper •• ?
HARRY
Yeah, so? She took down my number, a lot
of girls have my number --
VOICE (O.S.)
I understand. It's just routine, we're
required by law to treat every suicide as
a potential homicide. ·
HARRY
Suicide.
VOICE (O.S.)
Yes. Harmony Lane shot herself, sir.
Just a few hours ago. She ••• wasss •• at
hooo •••. found her ••• sorr ••• losing yo •••
HARRY
Hello? Hello? Officer •• ?
The phone's dead. Signal, lost. Harry stands there,
pole-axed ••• like he's taken a punch. Collapses against
the car. Looks at:... Perry, stricken:
HARRY
Harmony .•• she's dead.
He stands, rain drumming on his head.
HARRY
Killed herself with a gun.
GAYPERRY
I'll be Goddamned.
Harry's face tries on several different expressions.
Rejects them all. He looks out at the drowning city.
HARRY
I see her for a day? One DAY?
GAY·PERRY
No making sense of it. In the end, I
guess things just, um, happen for a re--
HARRY
-- for a reason? Are you serious? Fuck
that. Because I fall off a roof, ten
people in Baltimore survive a bus crash?
Swell. They're enjoying Baltimore, I'm
lying with my brains out.
GAYPERRY
I been to Baltimore; you win. Look, I'm
really sorry. I gotta go •
He drives off. Harry, in the rain •.• Christmas lights,
reflected in the glossy street. CUT TO:
HARMONY,IN A BRIDAL GOWN
She cuts the cake, looks up -- and SCREAMS. -A big BROWN
BEARtoasts her, turns to camera and says:
BROWNBEAR
I prefer GENARO'S. But what do I know?
I suck the heads off fish!
An insufficient little epitaph. CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 26 - A Night of Grief
HARRYenters, looking like someone turned a hose on him.
HARRY. (V .O.)
I was tired, I was pissed, I was wetter
than Drew Barrymore at a grunge club. I
needed a hot bath, a warm bed.
(sighs)
But the night had other plans for me.
See, I forgot -- old Jonny, he always had
two cases, remember •• ?
INT. HOTELHALLWAY
- SAME
Christmas MUZAKplays. Harry, completely done in.
· Dripping. He fumbles for his key, rounding the corner
Jumps a foot in the air. Makes a startled "bark" noise.
She's there. Huddled in front of his door. Soaking wet,
shivering cold --
HARMONY. Standing there with puppy-dog eyes. He stands
frozen. Breath suspended. Both of them, in tableau.
She finds her footing. MOVES. A rag doll.
Flops into him, ENGULFShim on impact. • • The two .of them
resemble a very emotional SPONGE. HARRY, struck dumb.
REVERSE-- Tight on Harmony, on her FACE, desolate •••
Squeezing him for all she's worth. We hear HARRY:
HARRY
••• How•• ? I ••• I don't.~.
She answers him, voice uninflected, without hope:
HARMONY
• •• she's gone, Harry •••
Still in tight CLOSE-UP. A single tear escapes one eye
as it comes flashing back to her, all of it
FLASH: A CRIME SCENE - CHEAPDOWNTOWN
HOTEL ROOM
A police PHOTOGRAPHER'Sflashbulb goes POP--! A female
form, sprawled in a corner. Covered by a SHEET.
Weapon, bagged for evidence -- a Mossberg shotgun.
FLASH TO: HARMONY,speaking to a Homicide cop:
HARMONY
I ••• I would've given her money. But •••
we haven't _spoken ••• in years ••.
COP
Fact is, she stole not only a credit
card, but your ID as well -- We're very
sorry for the mix-up on our part. • . ·
(beat)
_Are you willing, at this point, to make a
positive identification?
She nods. The barest edge of the SHEET, lifted for her
HARMONY
There, the ••. the birthmark.
(swallows hard)
It's her. It's my little sister.
Ratings
Scene 27 - Desperate Confessions and Dark Discoveries
HARMONY paces· jerkily to and fro. Soaked, shivering.
High on something or other. HARRYcan'. t stop staring •••
HARRY
Your sister's been living out HERE?
HARMONY
I didn't know; we hadn't spoken .•• God,
in years. She never forgave me for
leaving her. I ••• thought she'd be safe,
I swear, no one told me Papa would get
her back -- ·
HARRY
Look, first things first, you're gonna
catch pneumonia, let me --
HARMONY
Will you listen?? I have to TELL this,
someone has to.believe me!
HARRY
Fine, let me get a blanket, I'll --
HARMONY
I don't need a blanket •
. HARRY
You're shivering all over
HARMONY
I DON'T CARE.
Harry sighs.
HARRY
Okay. Deep breath. Tell me what
happened.
HARMONY
She got into my house. Yesterday, she
musta been broke. Swiped 200 bucks, a
credit card •.• California I.D. God knows
what else •
HARRY
Back up. If you two hadn't spoken in
HARMONY
Fourteen years.
HARRY
Fourteen years, right, arid she didn't
know where you lived, how' d she know 1
where to-~ ·
HARMONY
I WAS ON TV, FOR CHRISSAKES. I was on
the news, you can see the house, see the
number, boom, right there; getting in's·
easy, fucking robot broke the windows...:_
Even as she's freaking out, Harry's drawn to the wet
dress, the pearling beads of water on skin... ··
HARMONY
Harry, no more secrets; are you a
detective?
The question comes out of the blue. Harry blinks •
HARRY
Who told you that?
HARMONY
My friend Flicka .•. you said to her
you're a detective, and if that's true I
need your help. If it isn't, goodbye.
Harry, caught totally off guard; how can he handle this?
HARRY
Right. Okay. First off, say I am..;_ why
me? Have you ••• looked at alternatives?
There's my colleague, Perry van Shrike --
HARMONY
Perry, I know Perry, I've worked for him.
Please. He's gonna believe me? When I
tell him my sister didn"t commit suicide?
Harry stops dead. Favors her with a look of disbelief.
She leans forward, intent. Locks eyes with him, says:
HARMONY
See? That's why r•m here, Harry. I
think my sister was murdered. I need
someone to help me prove it •
. Stubs out her cigarette. Begins to talk as we hear:
HARRY (V .O.)
So I sat there, not looking at her
nipples while she told me about her
epiphany at the Rite-Aid on Wilshire.
FLASHBACK:RITE-AID - 40 MINUTESPREVIOUS
Harmony, clutching a happy red basket. Soaked and
miserable; she's been crying.· Sees a bottle of Old
Forester. Into the basket, boom. Steps to the checkout
counter. Looks down:
A) bottle of booze; B) three jars of sleeping pills.
Casts about ••• grabs Twinkies, gum. Whatever's handy,
tosses stuff in without looking. Opens a Twinkie.
THE CHECKERruns her credit card ••• Shakes his head.
Tries again. Nope. Hands the card back, apologetic •
SNAP BACKTO PRESENT DAY: Harry,. looking at her nipples
HARRY
Um, I'm sorry.:.._ what were you buying •• ?
HARMONY
Whatever. Stuff. IT DOESN'T MATTER.
Don't you get it? The card she stole
from me was MAXEDOUT. Right before she
died, Jenna charged over 2000 dollars,
you don't find.that a little weird •• ? To
some bullshit company. Ah. Plus her
birth control pill for today? Gone. Red
flag.. Why'd she bother with her pill?
Still pacing, jittery, jerky; Harry shifts uncomfortably.
HARMONY
So. can you help me or not?
HARRY
I'd have to check my schedule, but um --
HARMONY
Can you •. ? Just tell me, I'll get the
hell out of your ••• your .••
Without warning, her eyes lose focus, knees buckle -- She
promptly collapses. Harry has to CATCHher.
He staggers, off balance. ·Shakes her -- Nix. out cold.
He deposits her on the BED. Now what •• ? He grabs a
towel. Fluffs her hair. Steps back, frowning .•• She's
shivering.
It occurs to Harry, briefly, that he's in much the same
shoes as the asshole guy at Dexter's party.
Except she's gonna get fucking pneumonia. Shit.
He takes a deep breath. Tugs at her sopping dress.
Hauls it dripping up over her head. Looks down --
SEES THE SPIDER crawl from his pillow to her shoulder. ·
The size of a nickel, maybe (the spider, not the
shoulder} • Now it's bound for her NECK• ••
Harry, appalled. Leans in, takes aim ••• Goes to flick
the beast, MISSES•. ! It scuttles beneath Harmony's BRA•
_I
Son of a bitch. He gingerly taps the bra cup -- Hello •• ?
Mr. Spider •• ? Tap, tap. The breasts therein jiggle
slightly. Harry takes a breath --
Very fast, ahd begging forgiveness he yanks up the bra.
Sees the black dot against a landscape of pin~, FLICKS--!
Sends it sailing. Heaves a sigh of relief •••
Just as Harmony opens her eyes.
HARMONY
What the hell do you think you're doing?
HARRY
WHA
.. ?? I ••• I didn't do anything --
HARMONY
You were feeling my tits.
HARRY
What?? No, listen, there was a big
SPIDER, it was ••• it was ••. I ...
CUT TO: ONE MINUTE LATER
HARRY, on hands and knees. Crawling up and down,
swearing. · HARMONY,under the comforter. Getting bored •
HARRY
Hang on, hang.on, you'll see. Where'd
you go, you little bastard .••
He changes directions. Harmony sighs:
HARMONY
Look, it's okay, I believe you.
HARRY
No. No, you don't. Just ••• hold on.
It• s here ••.
HARMONY
Look, whatever. Say you grabbed my tit,·
it's ••• it's life. No biggie. You got
any aspirin?
Harry stops. Regards her in disbelief:
HARRY
A guy grabs your tit, "that's life •• ?"
No biggie? Christ, what kind of talk is
that? I can't believe you're
He stops, hearing Harmony GASP: She's looking down •
Harry foilows her gaze. She lets slip her bra, exposes
one breast -- it's there: just visible, if you squint ••• ·
A SQUISHEDSPIDER LEG. On her aureole. Trailing buggy
fragments. She looks at him, radiant .••
Granted, history has seen more romantic moments. Their
eyes lock, over the severed leg. She offers a hand --
HARMONY
See there? I trust you .•
-- But Harry refuses-the offer.
HARRY
Whatever. I'm glad.
Turns away from her. Sullen. Agitated •.
HARMONY
What is it? I'm letting you off the
hook, you didn't do.anything
HARRY
No, but you thought I did •
(spins on her:)
Listen to me, if I grab your tit, it's a
BIGGIE, damn, that sounded wrong, what I
mean is, I 'M ON THE HOOK. .The hook is
now my home! Meanwhile, you still talk
to me .• ? Like ••. like it's an okay
· lapse, oops, everyone does it, Jesus,
what fucking guys are you hanging around?
Are you just some ••• some girl who --
:
He bites off the sentence. She looks stricken: I
HARMONY
Who what .• ?
(beat)
Who what, Harry •. ?
He retreats to the BATHROOM.
HARRY
Look, just ••• forget I said anything.
Get some rest. Tomorrow we;ll start
working on your case •
HARMONY
So ••• you can do it?. You're not too
jammed up with other clients?
HARRY
Let me worry about that.
He shuts the bathroom door, blanches -- what the hell is
he doing? He's never gonna get away with this. Calls:
HARRY
Tomorrow afternoon good?
HARMONY(THROUGHDOOR)
Yeah, that's perfect. I'm borrowing. some
sweats and a T-shirt.
He unzips. Starts to pee. Rubs tired eyes ••. Reaches
over, opens the medicine cabinet. Fumbles for aspirin•--
The mirror nicely captures THE CORPSE IN THE TUB.
It swings into view. Sitting there mute, behind him.
It's the girl from the lake. RIGHT behind him.
Flower dress. Hair plastered across her fish-white face .
Harry, OBLIVIOUS -- tugging at the childproof cap •••
Shakes out three pills. Pops them. Looks in the mirror--
. SPITS them the. length.of the room. He SPINS, staggers on
one foot. A burlesque arc of urine, preceding him.
Stands, blank. Utterly FROZEN. The poster boy for
cognitive dissonance (yes, they have that.)
Realizes, belatedly, that he's peeing ALL OVER THE
CORPSE. Stuffs himself away,. cinches his pants,· as·
HARMONY {THROUGHTHE DOOR)
Goodbye • I 'm leaving •• ! Harry •• ?
Harry says in a small strangled voice:
HARRY
Goodbye.
He can't believe what he's seeing.
HARMONY (THROUGHTHE DOOR)
Thanks! This is really great. 'Bye!
THE THING continues to be there, whether the fuck it's
believed in or not. Harry fumbles out his phone
Ratings
Scene 28 - Panic in the Tub
Perry, phone to his ear, incredulous:
GAYPERRY
Say it again, they gave her BACK??
INTERCUT- HARRY- IN THE BATHROOM
On the edge of panic:
HARRY
She's in my tub, I'm looking at her, for
Chrissakes.
GAYPERRY
That's ridiculous. They don't even KNOW
you, they couldn't possibly-..,..
HARRY
They couldn't! You're .right! And since
the body can't be here, this is all a
dream, and oh, look, there's Elmo the
elf, GOODMORNING,ELMO! What's in your
basket--
GAYPERRY
Shut up. How'd they get in?
HARRY
Don't know. Fire escape, maybe?
GAYPERRY
(takes a deep breath:).
Okay. First things first; we gotta ;move
her somewhere. You got gloves?
HARRY
Excuse me?
GAYPERRY
If it's a frame-up, some asshole's
probably calling the cops on you right
now. Do this: wrap up the body, a sheet,
blanket -- a rug if you got one.
HARRY
Just a second, I'm getting gloves. Any
particular kind? ·
GAYPERRY
Yes,~, would you fucking HURRY?
HARRY
Hey, I, uh ••• I peed on it.
GAYPERRY
I -- excuse me?
HARRY
I. • • peed. On the body, um, can they •••
do I.D. from that •• ?
GAY PERRY
Say again? You peed --
HARRY
On the cc;,rpse, see, my question is--
GAYPERRY
Your question. No, no, me first. WHYIN
PLUPERFECTHELL DID YOUPEE--
HARRY
I didn't INTENDto, it wasn't like I did
it for KICKS!!
(desperate:)
This isn't happening. It's your fault;
you said this doesn't happen! I
GAYPERRY
SHUT UP AND LISTEN. First: wrap the
body. Next, you have to find the gun.
Say it with me, "find the gun."
HARRY
Gun, I~·· I threw it in the lake
GAYPERRY
Not MY GUN, idiot. If they dropped .a
body on you they also planted a gun,
· trust me. Move it. I' 11 be there in
four minutes. · ·
INT. HOTELROOM- NIGHT
HARRYcomes barreling out of the bathroom. Runs to the
closet, grabs a blanket, as
Ratings
Scene 29 - Close Calls and Deceptions
_J
Perry's Jaguar throws a SMOKING180, leaves most of its
tires on the road behind it. He blows by camera, CUT TO:
A .38 REVOLVER
Underneath a sagging bed, as HARRYutters a triumphant
GRUNT. Snakes out an arm, snags the gun, and meanwhile
DOWNIN THE LOBBY
Ding •• ! HARMONYsteps off the elevator. Strides across
the lobby. Idle glance at the concierge There are
TWOCOPS leaning on the guy's desk. Speaking tersely.
COP ONE
--- caller specified room 314, some sort
of. • • brawl or something. Violent.
Whoa, she thinks, that.' a Harry's room. But violent •• ?
Hell, she was just there. Walks slower, eavesdropping
CONCIERGE
Yes, here we go. 314, Lockhart. Let me
give you the key.
At which point, Harmony surprises herself by suddenly
blurting out to the cops:
HARMONY
No, no, it's not 314. It's 514. I was
just up there, it's AWFUL, all those
noises.
COP TWO
oh. Thank you, Ma' am. Appreciate that.
And on that note, Harmony, utterly perplexed, passes
through the revolving ENTRANCEDOOR, out into
. .
the chill.
Grabs her eel phone, she's gotta warn Harry and
consequently FAILS TO SEE GAYPERRY as he blurs by,
behind her. In through the revolving door --
Ratings
Scene 30 - Escape Under the Stars
Ding •• ! The elevator doors open and out comes Perry.
Bolts down the hallway toward
HARRY'S ROOM- SAME'TIME
Bang-Bang-Bang. Fist puimnels the door --
5.0.
GAr PERRY
It's me, open up!
HARRYadmits Perry, then quickly shuts the door. The
PHONEis shrilling.
GAYPERRY
Don't answer that.
HARRY
Duh.
Perry, out of breath. Sees a BUNDLEon the bed, points --
GAYPERRY
That it?
HARRY
No, that's the other corpse, from the
last guy who stayed here.
GAYPERRY
Fuck off.· The gun?
Harry pats his jacket pocket. Crosses to the corpse.
They kneel. Harry licks dry lips, swallows, says:
HARRY
Perry. The sons of bitches made us.
Made me.. In town for two days, they know
who I am, where to find me. That's --
GAYPERRY
-- It's impossible. Yeah, I know.
(looks up)
Fire escape.
EXT. HOTEL- FIRE ESCAPE - STAR-FILLED SKY OVERHEAD
The BUNDLEis slung between them. Propped on their
respective shoulders, sagging in the middle. It's slow
going; a step-by-step balancing act.
HARRY
I forgot to tell you, Harmony's .alive and
she thinks her sister was murdered.
GAYPERRY
Come again?
HARRY
Never mind. ouch--1
He bashes his hand on the railing. Swears •
He looks at Perry. Perry looks at him. They stop. BOTH
peer over the railing ••• Three stories, straight down.
Ratings
Scene 31 - Chaos in the Shadows
A FLYING CORPSE hurtles into frame.
SLAMSdown with a sick crunch. Camera pans up ••• Here
come HARRY & PE,RRY, scrambling down the stairs.
PARKINGLOT - SAME
Keeping to the shadows, they lug the bundle toward
Perry's CAR, over in a dark corner. Harry, straining:
HARRY
So these dudes tonight, they see two
assholes out of nowhere, they think
GAYPERRY
They think we must know. something, sure.
They panic. The body's evidence, they
gotta dispose of it--
HARRY
Yeah, in my bathtub, fuck this. I want
real life. You said real life.
GAY PERRY .
It is. See, real~life people aren't
logical, man. They get freaked out,
improvise
HARRY
A~, shut up, you're changing your tu?e
every five minutes.·
Harry slips, DROPS his end. It thuds to the ground. He
swears • Bends downs •• ~ FREEZES:
Headlights. Car approaching. FLASHINGLIGHTS. Cops •.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. They frantically drag the
corpse toward.a chain-link FENCE. Huffing, grunting ••.
. Pick a spot along the fence. Heft the bundle, brace
themselves and HEAVE--
ROLL HER OVER.THE TOP
She flops into the bushes, CRASH, rustle-rustle •• !
Harry follows with the GUN, chucks it, as THE POLICE CAR
swings into sight and without missing a beat Perry says:
GAYPERRY
Quick. Kiss me.
HARRY
What?
Perry plasters his mouth to Harry•s. Harry, sputtering
in protest -- Perry locks him in an embrace.
THE POLICE CAR cruises past. A cop shines a flashlight
COP
Check out Doris and Lucinda over here.
His partner shakes his head. The car idles past ••• Turns
the corner ••• Gone. HARRYflings Perry away, sputtering:
HARRY
Ack--! Aaaagh--! All right! All right,
that's it. These lessons suck, I quit,
this is not being a detective. Corpses
floating in lakes, people kissing people,
this is ••. this is WRONG .
Perry clamps a hand over Harry's mouth, SILENCES him.
Out of the dark, A VOICE:
VOICE (O.S.)
Somebody want to fill me in?
The two men SPIN ROUND, startled-~
HARMONY stands ten feet away. Defiant. With out missing
a beat, Harry turns, whispers to Perry:
HARRY
She thinks I'm a detective, go along with
it, don't fuck me.·
HARMONY
Harry, did you know the QQllii ·are looking
for you?
HARRY
(startled)
They are •• ?
He jogs over, takes her aside •
·HARMONY
I sent them to the wrong room, !·didn't
know what else to do --
HARRY
You did fine. See, Perry and I, we're
running a whatchamacallit, a .•• you know,
the old •.. game •.• bring 'em in, push 'em
out •••
HARMONY
What are you talking about? What's
happening, and why were you and Perry
nacking on each other?
Harry smiles. Clears his throat, takes a deep breath
Ratings
Scene 32 - The Body Dump
PERRY'S Jaguar zips along as we HEAR:
HARRY (V .o.)
I sent her home, believing a) we'd meet
tomorrow to go over her case; and b) I
wasn't actually gay. Do not ask me how I
did this. Then Perry says we gotta move
the body again. Four a.m., it's in the
trunk, we're cruising down Santa Monica,
past the cool-looking police station with
the palm trees and aw, shit. ·
(beat)
Listen to what I'm doing, !'m saying it,
meanwhile it's on the screen, I hate it
when the narrator does that ••• "I entered
the building and proceeded to Bob's
office," you're like,. I KNOW,asshole,
I'm watching the fucking movie. So~ry.
INT. CAR - DRIVING - NIGHT
Harry says:
HARRY
Why couldn't we just leave it there?
GAYPERRY
Think, dwmny. A 911 call, your room.
number, then there's a corpse outside
your hotel? Bad.idea.
(beat)
Speaking of which, what's this shit, you
taking on an actual.case?
(MORE.)
GAYPERRY (cont'd)
Of all the dipshit things to do. Killed
herself, by the way .
HARRY
Huh?
GAYPERRY
Killed herself. I·just solved your case
for you.
HARRY
Harmony's convinced that--
GAYPERRY
Fuck Harmony. Little Sis punched her own
ticket. Period. Here, this looks good,
up ahead. Time to lose the luggage.
He rolls to a stop under a big shadowy TREE.
CUT TO: A MEATY-SOUNDING
THUD--!
As the BUNDLEDCORPSE hits the lawn of a Beverly Hills
home. HARRYbends over it, face a misery mask:
HARRY
I'm sorry, sweetheart, you deserved
better .
Wind picking up, the trees rattling, he runs •.•
• CUT TO BLACK. A Pause ••• then SUPER:
DAY THREE - THE LITTLE SISTER
Ratings
Scene 33 - Dusk Revelations
Through the window we see HARRYasleep. The NEONLIGHTS
outside his window sputter ••• Come to LIFE.
CLOSE·ON HAARY-- his eyes pop open. CUT TO:
INT. HOTELLOBBY- SAME
· The elevator disgorges Harry, unshaven, bleary-eyed. He
passes a PLUMPWOMAN with a collection bucket.
PLUMPWOMAN
Rejoice in the Miracle, the Lord is
risen.
HARRY
It's more of a miracle that I arose .
INT. HOTELBAR - SAME
HARRYand HARMONY,seated at a window table. Harry's
trying to look official with a notepad and pen.
HARRY
Okay, .§.Q -- you said you have a line on
why Jenna came to L.A. Tell me. I'm
taking notes, so be as thorough as you
can.
Harmony sips her coffee. Speaks quietly, intently.
HARMONY
I never told you just how. . . awful he
treated her. My Dad, I'm talking ab<;>ut.
(eyes vague, distant) ·
I remember, I only lied to her one
time ••• Papa was making her cry, saying
shit, and afterward I bent down, real
close and I whispered in her ear.
(beat) ·
I said, 'baby, the man living here is not
your father.'
HARRY
You told your sister she was adopted?
HARMONY
(shakes her head)
I went one better. I said her real
father was an actor fn the movie that
came through town. The Gossamer thing.
I said, 'Someday, baby, you'll go to
Hollywood, and meet your famous real
Daddy.'
(beat)
Harry, I think she believed me. I think
she came out here looking.
HARRY
You sound pretty sure.
HARMONY
I read her suicide note. Even with a gun
to her head, she mentions II Daddy" • ·
Harry nods. Glances down at his own extensive notes:
~~{it_~
' LAM! . ~-,>
HARRY
Got it. I'm on the case.
(scribbles on a napkin)
And here's my card.
He presents it with a flourish: THE AMAZING HAROLD.
HARRY
It's a magic card, by the way. Be
careful.
HARMONY
Oh, Wow. Any training required?
HARRY
Nope. Just say abra-cadabra.
HARMONY
What happened, did someone sue you?
HARRY
Excuse me?
HARMONY
It used to be "Alakazarn." When you cut
me in half. And not to be picky, but you
were Harold the Great •
There eyes meet. He shrugs, smiles.
HARRY
I used to be great, now I'm amazing.
Live with it.·
His CEL,rings, he answers:
HARRY
Hi, there was nothing in the papers. I'm
busy right now with Harmony's case.
GAY PERRY (O.S.)
Case, what case? Leave her alone.· News
on channel 9, just starting. Call me
after.
Click-! Hangs up. Harry- jumps up, heads to the BAR --
TV bolted to the wall. On screen, a striking NEWSWOMAN:
NEWSWOMAN {ON TV)
••• a kidnapping gone wrong. It is
unclear why his daughter was subsequently
murdered, or even-where;
(MORE)
57 •
. NEWSWOMAN(ON TV) (cont'd)
for she was almost certainly killed and
then moved, police sources say. Veronica
Dexter's abductors remain at large.
(beat)
Harlan Dexter, 53 year;_old actor--turned-
entrepreneur, runs the prestigious Dexter
Clinic downtown, along with a series of
rehab centers. His wife died last
spring, prompting Veronica's return to
the U.S. -- and a father-daughter
reconciliation, following years of
estrangement. Veronica Dexter; 25 years
old yesterday. More later. Paul?
ANCHOR(ON TV)
Thanks, Mina. Sad. Brought together •••
only t6 lose each other again. Very much
like the cast of ''Giant Steps"; corning
up, a report on the hot new show that --
On Harry's speechless reaction we cut to:
Ratings
Scene 34 - Dusk Confrontation
Brisk, windy. They walk side by side. Harry takes out
gum, offers a piece to Perry .
HARRY
Ronnie Dexter? Are they, like, triple-
sure •• ? 'Cause she sorta looked like Mr.
Potato-Head to me.
!
GAYPERRY
I.D. was positive. Scars, dental
records.
HARRY
Talk to your police guy? I.
GAYPERRY
Yeah. Not much there. Lab test came·
back, no sign of rape.
(frowns)
Boils down to this: at 4:30 yesterday
afternoon, Ronnie Dexter left home to
meet some dude at the airport, old
boyfriend. Off · she went
HARRY
And that's-the last anyone saw of her?
GAYPERRY
With a symmetrical ungooshed head, yeah •
_
58 •
HARRY
Police ever find the car?
GAYPERRY
Uh, no, genius, that was us, . remember?
HARRY
Oh. Yeah, right.
Harry looks pale. Perry fixes him with a steady gaze:
GAYPERRY
It was someone at that party, Harry~ ••
That's how they recognized you.
HARRY
The killers were .•. at Dexter's?
GAYPERRY
(nods)
This is getting way too scary, man. You
gotta bail. Catch a flight out.
HARRY
But my screen test.is Tuesday •
GAYPERRY
Doesn't .matter. You won't get the part.
HARRY
Fuck off.
GAYPERRY
Listen to what I'm saying.
HARRY
I know.it's a longshot
GAYPERRY
Harry, you're not getting the part.
HARRY
So I'm not Brando, you.think l don't know
that? If there's even a chance
GAYPERRY
There isn't, YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE PART,
YOUNEVERWERE.
It bursts out of him. ·Harry stops, mid-sentence •
59 •
GAYPERRY
Nick Cage wants too much money. Get it
now? Dabney, he unearths a "discovery."
New kid, works for cheap. He flies you
out, high profile. The parties,
detective lessons, ALL of it.
(beat) ·
He's using you to shave a million dollars
off Cage's price.
And there it is. Out on the table.
GAYPERRY
Sorry, chief, but there it is. I'm done
lying to you. So. That's it. If you're
gonna take a swing at me, do it no--
The PUNCHsnaps his head around. He SWEARS, as Harry
launches another left -- ducks this one .easily. Spins
Harry, SLAMShim against a mailbox. Twists cruelly.
HARRY.
You son of a bi--aaaGGHHH.
Perry lets go. Steps back, still wary. Harry, gasping •
GAY PERRY
And don't bother keeping your date with
Harmony. She wasn't happy to hear that
·you weren't a detective. That you lied.
Another shock. Harry, overwhelmed.
HARRY
You. • . you TOLD her .• ? ?
(almost in tears)
Man, I ••• I thought.you were, like, imy
friend! I was •in trouble, you were ,right 1
there --
GAYPERRY
Protecting my employer, yes,
(off Harry's look)
DABNEY. My employer? He pays :me to
insulate him from corpses.
Harry absorbs this like a physical blow.
GAYPERRY
I'm not a nice man, Harry.
(beat)
Go home. Before something bad happens •
Perry turns. Heads for his car •
HARRY
Are you •.. are you THREATENING
me •. ?
Pause. Perry blinks, confused --
GAYPERRY
No. NO, you idiot. I 'm saying the
BADGUYSmight try to harm you.
HARRY
Oh. Oh, okay. Right.
Perry gets in his car. Keys the ignition.
GAYPERRY
Merry Christmas. Sorry about fucking you
.over.
HARRY
No problem. Merry Christmas. Don't quit
your gay job.
The car rounds a corner. Disappears from sight •
Harry sighs. Runs a hand through his hair. Headache.
Temples, throbbing. Grabs his cell, punches buttons.
Ring •• ! Click-!
HARMONY(O.S.)
Hi, I'm unavailable to take your call,
but if you leave a mes--
He hangs up. Inhabits the lengthening twilight. Nowhere
to go. Spits. Scans the IVY alongside the hotel •••
FLASH: He and Perry, tossing the .38 over the fence --
Harry makes a decision. CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 35 - A Desperate Encounter
LIQUOR - NIGHT
Harry appears at the door, trailed by a homeless man --
HOMELESSMAN
Buddy, got a cigarette •. ?
HARRY
Not today, pal •
The man grips his arm -- Harry shrugs him off, hard.
HOMELESSMAN
Rat bastard,. son of a bitch --
Harry keeps moving. Into the store. Empty. Reaches up
to his KNIT CAP, the one he had in Big Bear --
Pulls it.down into a SKI MASK.
Moves to the register; no one there either. He palms the
.38 revolver. Rings a tiny BELL.
VOICE IN BACK (O.S.)
Just a minute! Right out!
Harry waits, impatiently. Drumming his fingers. Ski
mask, itching. •·He leans over the ·counter, reaches ••.
Awkwardly swats.at the· register button.
HARRY
Hey, can I get some help here?
. VOICE IN BACK (O.S.)
Coming! Another second!
Harry ducks beneath the counter. Pops llp behind the
register. Punches buttons •. Nothing. Again-""" nothing.
Last try -- Bingo. The drawer slides open. Reveals
maybe $200 in worn bills •. 20 in change. He stares~ ••.
VOICE IN BACK {O.S.)
Be right there!
Presses a hand to his head. Shoulders start to slump •••
He shuts the drawer •. Cash untouched. Tugs oflf his mask.
Eyes dull, glazed. Ducks beneath the counter ~gain.
A HISPANIC MAN appears . -- Sees Harry standing politely. ·
MAN
Can I help you?
- . -~Y
. .. Marlboro Reds, box.
·EXT. HOLLYWOOD
BLVD - NIGHT
Harry exits. Sees the angry BUM. Tosses him the smokes.·
62 •
HARRY
Choke on ' em.
Crosses the street. Doesn't look back.
Ratings
Scene 36 - A Chance Encounter at LAX
The main concourse. An amplified VOICE intones:
VOICE (O.S.)
At this time, we'd like to begin pre-
boarding for flight 12, service from Los
Angeles to New York, at Gate 42.
HARRYappears. Takes out his ticket. Resigned, tired .•.
MEMORY
FLASH: HIGH SCHOOLSTADIUM- NIGHT - CIRCA 1987
A deserted.field, behind the high school. Foreground:
YOUNGHARRY, 18 -- facing 16 year-old HARMONY.
HARMONY
Gotta catch my bus. If I don't go now, I
never will. I'm gonna miss you ••.
She hugs him. He gazes past her at the stadium CLOCK:
now or never. Presses his mouth to hers-- she recoils.
HARMONY
No ••• Harry, you mean so much to me.
It ••• It's different with you. If we do
it, it' 11 be magic. Worth waiting for •.
BACKTO PRESENT DAY.-- Harry steps aside for a young
child. Mutters politely, examines his ticket -- STOPS.
Looks up, · froWI)ing. Is it •. ? Nah. Couldn't be, yet --
IT IS, IT'S FLICKA.
Walking the concourse. Pulling her stewardess cart.
WITHFLICKA
She glances up, sees HARRYhustling toward her. Won't
even look at him. Eyes front, says:
FLICKA
She doesn't want to talk to you •.
63 •
HARRY
I know that~ Maybe ••• maybe I don't want
to talk to her. Ever think of that?
Maybe it's you I'm interested in.
FLICK.A
Is that true?
HARRY
Well, no. Listen, she has a eel phone,
right? She must.
FLICK.A .
Forget it. This·is between you two --
HARRY
HERE. Look, a ticket, see? Baby, I'm
going. I just want to say something,
anything to her ••• I ••• I'm begging you.
Pause .•. She heaves a sigh:
FLICK.A
I'm gonna regret this.
Unzips a pouch in her carry-on. Pulls out a telephone-
slash-address book, flips through it:
FLICKA
. Let ' s see. • • Where is it, not here •••
that' s funny. . • Oh. . Of course.
HARRY
What? What's funny?
FLICK.A
Nothing, I forgot it's listed under !her
stage
. ,..
name •
. HARRY
No kidding? What' s her stage name •• ?
FLICK.A
•.• Ames. Allison Ames.
HARRY
Huh ••• Look, I really appreciate this, I
promise I --
He stops dead. Mid-sentence •
64 •
HARRY
Say that name again?
FLICKA
Ames • • • A-M-E--
HARRY
Allison Ames, that's •.. that's Harmony's
stage name??
FLICKA
I think I just said that.
HARRY
And is that the name on her credit cards?
FLICKA
How should I know? Christ!
Ratings
Scene 37 - A Painful Revelation
HARRY is gunning it,. fifty-plus. Phone to his ear:
GAYPERRY. ( O. S.)
You have reached the offices of Sentron,
Inc. Please leave a message •
HARRY
Newsflash, Perry. Your client, Ames, it
was the little sister,. repeat, the little
sister. That's where ·Harmony's two grand
went, it's in your bank, you overpriced
bastard, HER KID SISTER HIRED YOU. Your
case and my case, man, now hear this,
it's the same fucking case!
EXT. HARMONY'SGUEST·HOUSE- NIGHT
aarry leaps from the car. Runs to the guest house.
Pounds on the door. Pause. Pounds again.
HARRY.
Harmony, it's me •. Something's happened,
it's about your sister.
(pounds)
I HAVETO TALK TO YOU.
What happens then happens quickly: Harmony FLINGS open
the door. Harry extends his hand:.
HARRY
Listen, I just found out
HARMONY
GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!
She rears back like Nolan Ryan, SLAMSthe door--1
Cuts off his finger. Harry grunts. The color drains
from his face. Pause ••• She throws open the door again.
HARMONY
Hey, did I just cut off your fi--?
She stops. Sees him hunched, blood squirting. CUT TO:
A DOCTORSEWINGHIS FINGER BACKON
ECU of half a forefinger, as a needle draws stitches. To
one side, a coffee mug -- red-tinged ice cubes, we're
. INT. EMERGENCYROOM- NIGHT
HARRY, on local anesthesia; inventingswear words, M.O.S
Over this, bleeding into the next scene; we HEAR:·
HARMONY(ON TELEPHONE)
You're a genius. A GENIUS. I'm so sorry
I bailed, I had to go to work, oh, Harry,
I'm going nuts, I can't stop thinking
about this.
Ratings
Scene 38 - A Reckless Pursuit
Harry·slouches, hand .bandaged. Phone to his ear.
HARMONY (O.S.)
What's Jenna's part in this -- I mean,
how'd she .~now where Ronnie Dexter would
be murdered? She s.ent you and Perry to
that exact place. •
Is that crazy or ,what?
: I
A pause. Harry mulls it over for a second, blurts:
HARRY
I CAN'T BELIEVE You· CUT OFF MY FINGER.
HARMONY (O.S.)
Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry ••• How is it?
I
HARRY
All shot up. can't feel a thing.
(beat)
Where's Perry? ~e gott~talk to him.
HARMONY (O.S.)
He's gonna stop by here. I can try the
pager again.
HARRY··
Won't matter. Pager, phone, they both
went swimming. You on catering detail?
. .
HARMONY (O.S.)
Yeah. Party up on Sunset Plaza. Listen,
remember you said the killer may have
· been at Dexter' s party? Well, that whole
bunch is here tonight~.
HARRY
Put me on the list.. I ' 11 be·. right· over.
HARMONY (0. S.)
Are you still doped up?
HARRY
Put me on the list. ·I • 11 drop by. Mayb0;
I can stir.the.kettle a bit, you know?
. Stick out a hat, see who shoots at it.
HARMONY (O.S.)
Maybe you should put the hat ·in the
kettle. Then if they shoot it! 11:
ricochet. · Harry, you sound trashed.
HARRY
Gimme the address.
EXT.• LOOMINGHOLLYWOOD
MANSION- NIGHT
The TAXI deposits HARRYin front of a Gothic monstrosity.
THROBof music from within. .· Voices,. laughter •
. ·
HARRY (V .O.)
· A young girl from Indiana comes to L.A.
Can't.hack it, cancels her subscription
to Life •. Voila -- r~ality. Case closed~
Ratings
Scene 39 - Party Tensions and Conspiracies
. . .
. . . .
·Along the wall, at intervals, WINDOW DISPLAYS.
Tastefully naked men, women. Painted. IGNORINGthe
outside world. Not allowed to.react to it •
HARRY(V.o.)
Or was it •• ? Murder; suicide; either
way, the girl was dead -- but now it
mattered to me, I had to know.
HARRYjoins the milling crowd. Wanders outside into the
BACK YARD
A crush of bodies. Dancing, drinking, occasionally
falling. VIEW overlooking L.A., a panoply of lights.
IN A SKIMPYSANTAGETUP
HARMONY,
Emerges from the house. Spots HARRY,waves. Elbows her
way forward -- Fetches up next to him, clutching a bag.
HARMONY
I got it. Just now, my friend Tiff does
video dubbing at Fox.
Passes him the bag. He removes a TAPE; scans the label:
HARRY
"Koo-koo For Cocoa Cocks."
HARMONY
Wrong label; it's the Jonny Gossamer
movie. If Jenna was hunting her Mystery
Dad, this is where she'd start; right?
(beat) .. .
And Harry, get this -- the big stores
never heard of it. Four specialty shops
had a copy; one apiece. All rented.
HARRY
So?
HARMONY
You don't find that odd? A box .o.ffice
dud from 1980, and on a given night FOUR
people take the only available copies?
HARRY
(sighs)
Okay, listen, let's not go crazy·with the
conspiracy stuff.
HARMONY
Don't patronize me!
68 •
HARRY
I 'rn not, I just --
He breaks off as PRETTY GIRL steps up, indicates HARRY:
PRETTY GIRL
Urn, I don't know if this guy's your
boyfriend or not, but just so you know,
while you were in the bathroom he was
totally checking me out.
She strides away smugly. Harry, ready to snap. Looks at
Harmony like everything's her fault.
HARRY
That's it. What IS it out here, these .••
these women•••
HARMONY
Please, they're no different fro--
HARRY.
Oh, yes they are. These are damaged·
goods from way back.
(simmering)
Show me a guy, sleeps with 100 women a
year. Go back in his childhood? Dollars
to doughnuts it's pretty unspectacular.
(beat) . · ..
Now. Show me a woman, sleeps with 100
guys a year, check out her childhood and
I guarantee you there's something rotten
in Denver --
HARMONY
. Denmark.
HARRY
There too. Abandonment. Abuse. Tlien
they all come out HERE, it's like someone
lifted.America by the east coast and
shook it,. and the normal chicks managed
to hang on.
He stops, realizing it's grown very quiet around them.
Every woman within ten· yards is staring at him.
HARMONY
Okay, everyone who hates Harry here,
raise their hand.
Half a dozen shoot skyward~ A VOICE rings out:
VOICE
See that?· Obedient little bitches, too.
GAYPERRY knows an entrance line when he sees one.
He joins the party. Ducks a flung drink, keeps walking
as it hits an old lady. Falls in beside Harry & Harmony:
GAYPERRY
Okay, you got thirty of my fucking
seconds. Thrill me.
Ratings
Scene 40 - Revelations in the Pantry
Harmony waves all of them inside, shuts the door. Moving
quickly now. Turns on one of ·those combo TV/VCR units
that run $150. Hands Harry a sheet of paper-~
HARMONY
Cast list.
(turns)
Perry, catch.
She tosses him a VISA card. Issued to Allison Ames.
GAYPERRY
So, who's in this cinematic milestone,
anyhow?
HARRY
Michael ••. Beck? Whoever that is.
GAYPERRY
Ah. He starred in Xanadu.
(off their look:)
Olivia Newton-John, Gene Kelly. ~?
Harry jerks a thumb, mouths the word "gay." ·she nods.
Adjusts the TV unit, hits PLAY. Clears her throat:
HARMONY
Now. Perry, indulge me, I know this is,
like, a longshot --
Perry isn't even listening, points RIGHT AT THE SCREEN:
GAYPERRY
That's Harlan Dexter.
HARMONY
So don't jump all over us, you never know
when someth-- beg pardon?
GAY PERRY·
There. That's fucking Harlan Dexter,
he's 25 years younger, look.
She stops, mid-oratory. Blinks. Turns, and sure enough:
There's DEXTER, 27, punching Michael Beck in the gut. ·
Harry, Gay Perry, Harmony. All staring, slack-jawed.
Harmony hits PAUSE. Harry snatches up the cast list
ECU LIST: Midway down... D.EPO!l'Y Dexter Holcomb
HARRY
Shit. This ••• this makes sense. He had
the Gossamer books at his house.
GAY PERRY
Used to be an actor •••
Harmony sits bolt upright:
HARMONY
Uh-uh. No way.
(eyes widening)
Harry, the other night -- you remember, I
said our host, he looked familiar?
She takes an involuntary step back, like she saw a ghost.
HARMONY
Oh, God. I remember him, now. 1979, he
was there, I .SAWhim --
{points to the screen)
I saw him like. that. Young.
GAYPERRY
Whoa, slow down -- saw him where?
HARMONY
At our house. In Indiana. He came with
the movie people. I think .•• I think he
was the one who started Mom on those
books, God, is that true •• ?
She looks. from one to the other, shell-shocked. An
uncomfortable pause. Harry and Perry exchange glances.
HARRY
And your sister has to have seen this, so
what it comes down to •••
(frowns)
(MORE)
HARRY·(cont'd)
You tell your sister a fairy tale about
her real father •••
GAYPERRY
That brings her out here 20 years later,
hunting Harlan Dexter.
Harmony, now, looking even MOREhaunted •••
INT. PARTY - ENTRYHALL - NIGHT
GAYPERRY is shrugging into his coat.
GAYPERRY
I'm going. to·. Silver lake. I have ·a
surveillance. Do NOT play detective.
Understand? Two women are dead, this is
not a book, this is not FUN.
HARRY
I know that, you think I'm stupid?
GAYPERRY
You wouldn't know where to feed yourself
if your mouth didn't flap so much.
He walks away. Harry sighs. · Unwraps a stick of gum •••
Alone again. Except for a MERMAID b~hind glass. ·. Harry
waves howdy. Gets the required blank stare. Takes the
video bag. Blows it up, makes as if to POP it •••
· .The only thing that moves is her middle finger. Unfurls,
pointing at Harry. The eyes remain blank.·
- SAME
Ratings
Scene 41 - A Dark Encounter
HARRY wanders, zc;med-out. Tired. Party,· surging nearby.
tt:e's on the outskirts. Sips a stiff drink, it's been a
looooong day ••• Bumps someone, starts to apologize --
No need. The guy KEEPS bumping him. Crowding him, as
ANOTHERMAN materializes, falls in alongside, what--?
The bastards have him flanked. Cosby/Culp duo. One's
black, the other white. Tall. Leather jackets.
Harry feels a GUN in his ribs:
LEATHERJACKET #1
Keep walking. ·
72 •
HARRY
(groans, shakes his head))
Perfect ••• Just perfect •.•
They lead him around the side of the house. To a pocket
of deep shadow ••• PARTY noise,rnuted, distant.
LEATHER#1
Well, now. Here we all are, Ike, Mike
and Mustard.
Even through his burgeoning terror, Harry's confused:
HARRY
• • • What the hell' s that mean .• ?
Leather #2 looks up, frowning:
LEATHER#2
I gotta go with him on this one, man,
that's pretty fucking obscure.
LEATHER·#l
Horseshit. I hear it all the time.
LEATHER#2
You do.
LEATHER#1
Yeah, sure.
LEATHER#2
Where, at the 1942 Club meeting?
LEATHER#1
Hey, just 'cause you didn't get in--
Harry tries to act indignant:
HARRY
This is bullshit. Who the f--aaaGGH .• !
Leather #2 strikes him with.a lead SAP. Harry half~
whistles, half screams. Leather #1 leans in:
LEATHER#1
Friend, what you.are in here is what we
like to call a JAM. Boy, do we like to
call it that.
LEATHER#2
You said it. I could call this a jam all
night.
LEATHER#1
You wanna know who we are? Real simple.
Me? I'm the frying pan, see, and my
buddy over here, he's --
LEATHER#2
Mustard. I'm Mustard.
LEATHER#1
-- He's the FIRE, fuck you, Mr. Mustard.
NOW. Me and my man, we're puzzled by
your behavior lately. Such as --
LEATHER#2
Such as, why is· a saavy stand-up cat like
yourself consorting with gay men,
frolicking in a lake together?
HARRY
You were there •• ? With the masks, that
was you?
The guy grabs Harry's bandaged hand --
LEATHERJACKET
Pal. You don't ask the questions.
Twists, WRENCHES--
HARRY
Aaahhh •.• l Oh, shit, OH JESUS you tore
it off, you tore off my FUCKINGFINGER!!
The bandage is now STAINING itself a deep red. Somewhere
under it, a detached digit.
LEATHER#1
Now, I bet there are doctors in New York,
clear that shit right up.
Leather #2 drives a FIST into Harry's kidney •
. LEATHER#2
L.A. don't want you, tough guy.
LEATHER#1
Go home, sport. Don't make your daughter
an orphan. ·
Harry collapses, clutching himself. Retching. Watches
their svelte tan loafers, walking away ••• CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 42 - Urgent Decisions
- NIGHT
HARMONY, zipping along in her SUV. HARRYin the
backseat. Lying prone, cradling his hand.
HARMONY
Five minutes away, hang in there.
Harry •• ? Hello •• ? You with me?
HARRY
I'm here.
HARMONY
Talk to me. our mascot, back in school
what the hell was it? You remember?
HARRY
Whitey.
(grimaces)
The white knight. 'Spose it's better
than calling him "Knighty," then he'd be
"Knighty-Knight, pretty
soon· the
mascot's named "Ta-Ta," or "Toodles," and
then you're really --
Harmony interrupts with a startled yelp.
HARMONY
Harry! That's :tl:lfiln. 12 o'clock, ·1ook!
You said a black guy and a white guy?
A BLUE IMPALA-- directly ahead. Two forms, clearly
visible inside. Big.
HARRY
Yeah, yeah, that's them. Get.the plate,
call the cops.
HARMONY
I will, I will. Lemme find a pen --
HARRY
Whatever, watch the road. Hello .• ?
(beat)
What are we doing? Are we slowing gmm?
HARMONY
I was leaning over to get a pen •
HARRY .
Harmony, you are not following them.
Please tell me you"re not --
HARMONY
I'm taking you to the hospital.
HARRY
Well, I HOPE so •
. HARMONY
It's just, they're on the way, is all.
HARRY
DO NOT FOLLOWTHEM.
HARMONY
I'm NOT.
(turns around)
You wanna go another way? 'Cause I don't
know about me, but they're headed for the
hospital.
HARRY
Well, speed up .
HARMONY
You just told me to get the plates!
(shakes her head)
Sheesh, beat him up, he gets grouchy.
THE IMPALAmakes a sharp turn. Onto a cross street.
HARRY
Straight. We go straight.
HARMONY
I know that.
As she blows through the intersection, she sees the sign:
Silverlake Blvd. Frowns. Takes a second to register •••
HARMONY
Holy shit. Perry's stakeout.
HARRY
Excuse me?
HARMONY
Perry's stakeout, he said Silverlake,
didn't he?
HARRY
What's that got to do with anyth--
HARMONY
Oh, my God. It ' s a setup. The stakeout,
they set him up, they're going after
Perry!
HARRY
Ho, wait a second. My finger's hanging
off, we gotta move on this --
. HARMONY
Sure, meanwhile they're murdering Perry.
HARRY
Maybe. ·It's a STREET. They could go
left, right, maybe they're going to the
d~ movies --
HARMONY
You wanna take that chance? Look, we'll
go save Perry, we'll do it really
quickly, then we'll go fix your finger.
HARRY
But --
.HARMONY
I'll be incredibly fast, I promise; "Hey,
Perry, look out," boom, back in the car.
Cool? Cool. ·
She throws the car into a SMOKINGU as we .CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 43 - Night Encounter in Silverlake
Harmony cruises the boulevard, ·eyes roving. Up ahead,
tne entrance to a wooded PARK.
HARMONY
Ha! Bingo.
The BLUE IMPALA. Parked at the curb. Empty. Harmony
lurches to a stop. Twists around, says:
HARMONY
They're on foot. If I leave the keys, , .
can you drive yourself?
HARRY
(sighs·tiredly)
Yes. Yes, I can. Go.
Harmony nods. Takes the .38 revolver from Harry's
jacket. Stares at it with silent awe. Swallows hard.
HARMONY
Okay. Here I go.
EXT. PARKENTRANCE- SAMETIME
Harmony heads into the park.
An afterthought, she loses the Santa hat. Sadly, there's
still the·costume: not so much deadly as adorable.
INT. SUV - BACKWITH HARRY
In the backseat, he sits up. Fully intends to transfer
to the front. Reaches for the door handle.
Scenery, spinning ••• Deep breath. Tries again •••
topples to the FLOORBOARDS,unconscious as
THROUGH
THE WINDSHIELD
Up ahead, we see a form we recognize:
MR. FRYING PAN crosses from a gas station, sipping
coffee. Reaches the parked Impala, phone to his ear:
MR. PAN.
Uh-huh. . • Anybody around him •. ? .
Terrific ••• On my way . . Got you a danish.
He clicks off. Gets in the car. Reaches in a pocket
Extracts a Sig Sauer AUTOMATIC,and meanwhile
Ratings
Scene 44 - Chaos in the Park
PARK - WITH HARMONY
HARMONY,crouched low •• 38 held loosely at her side.
Low MIST, inches off the ground. The lamps have HALOS.
She moves forward at a dead run~ In and out through the
trees. Eyes roving --
That's when she first notices THE GIRL.
25, give or take. Torn jeans. PINK HAIR. Punk-ish.
Harmony ducks behind a tree. Watches the girl stroll out
of the park •
Now Harmony sprints uphill to a BRICK WALL•
The one that borders the park. Roughly five feet high.
Finds she can stay to this side of it and still see the
STREET, where Pink-Haired Girl walks.
Still a block downrange. Harmony looks back at the park.
Reacts, startled:
Now there's a strange MANin the park.
strolling south, eating peanuts. She fidgets. Peers
over the wall again --
THERE HE IS, THERE'S PERRY
Coming out of a LIQUOR STORE two blocks down. Harmony
heaves a HUGE sigh of relief •••
PERRY, meanwhile, sucks on a beer.
Ambles along, shadowing PINK-HAIRED GIRL; his ..
aforementioned surveillance job. No idea Harmony's near--
Except she's not so near, not anymore. She's 75 yards
away. She creeps along the wall. Keeping him in sight •
ANOTHERANGLE - HEADLIGHTS
A car, nearing the park .•• She thinks nothing of it.
Glances up as it goes by, then promptly turns to STONE
THE BLUE IMPALAis back in the picture.
Gliding like an Angel of Death. She watches, terrified,
as it moves down the block. Closing on Perry.
Harmony starts to run.
HARMONY
PERRY!
One foot in front of the c;,ther. One, two. One, two.
Feet slapping the ground. Eyes dead ahead. Locked on
target.
HARMONY
P;ERRY!
He doesn .'t hear her, or doesn't acknowledge. She. hi ts
pace. Legs scissoring. It's a solid pace ••.
She doubles it. Arms pumping. Legs pistoning. FASTER
now, faster than before. Lets loose, FLYING•••
The man with the peanuts TRIPS her.
She never saw him coming. All. of a sudden she's
sailing. • . Hi ts, wham--! Slides on wet leaves, and now
MR. FIRE (aka Peanut Man) is ON HER, clamping a hand to
her mouth. Bearing her to the ground, got her by the
THROAT --
She HEAD-BUTTS him. Everything she's got. He rears
backward, HOWLING. Nose flattened.
That's done it. Harmony breaks loose. DIVES, rolls-~
Comes up sprinting. Goes airborne .• ! Leaps atop a·trash
can. From there to the WALL~ Straddles it, up and over--
HARMONY
PERRY, LOOK OUT--!
She tumbles off the wall, flailing •. THE GUN goes flying.
Strikes the pavement, GOES OFF, Bang--/
A picture .window EXPLODES. Collapses •·
THAT.gets Perry's attention. Two blocks away, he SPINS --
135 SEES HEADLIGHTS -- Sudden and HUGE. 135
What happens next happens quickly.
PERRY DIVES. Onto a parked car. Rolls across the hood,
_nick of time as the Impala SIDESWIPES the· car, WHAM-!
and somehow
A GUN MATERIALIZES in his hand, like a magician's trick
and WITHOUTA THOUGHThe sticks it out behind him and
while rolling, blows two shots backward at the Impala --
WINGS THE DRIVER
Guy takes it in the shoulder, car goes shrieking past and
PERRY, NOW
Smacks the pavement, HARD. Rolls, comes up --
139 SEES THE IMPALA 139
VEER, crazily. Out of control. FIRES after it, three
more shots, starts to run •
Up ahead it strikes the curb, doing fifty~-
Blows its tires. CATAPULTSonto the sidewalk. Captures
a fire hydrant -- Buries itself in a LIQUOR STORE.
Shelves ERUPT. Wood, BLASTEDto splinters. Finally
shudders to a halt, as
MR. FRYING PAN tumbles
THE UNFLAPPABLE out.
Hits, rolls -- comes up moving. Drawing his pistol.
Heads for the door, running full out --
Unfortunately running in full view of the store OWNER,
who promptly blows the shit out of him. POW/ POW! POW/
Drops him. Guy dies more surprised than anything else.
And it's over, just that quick, and consequently GAY
PERRY simply reverses direction -- as the corpse topples
he's already loping back the way he came.
Car alarms SINGING their song. A geyser of WATER
spouting thirty feet high, and meanwhile
EXT. PARK - ROADSIDE
PINK-HAIRED GIRL, on the run. Terrified.
Gunfire, murder, this wasn't in the libretto. She sees
Harmony's SUV. Door open. Keys dangling in plain sight.
Salvation. She jumps in, keys the ignition, goes roaring
off. Never bothers to check in back •••
Where HARRY, unconscious, inhabits the floorboards.
Ratings
Scene 45 - Chaos and Confessions
PERRY shoves HARMONY over the brick wall. Follows a
s~cond behind, into the PARK.
GAY PERRY
The girl with the pink hair. She ran
this way, did you see her?
HARMONY
N••• No. And the man, he... got away.
I ••• I couldn't shoot him •
GAYPERRY
It's okay. You did great, you did just
fine.
SIRENS, now. Flashing LIGHTS, drawing near. · They
stagger off. The dark absorbs them. DISSOLVE .TO•••
HARMONY'SSUV
As HARRYcomes slowly awake. Groans. Disoriented. Sits
up. Extricates himself from the floorboards. Peers out··
the window: finds himself in a tidy.one-car GARAGE.
TIME CUT: HARRYEXITS THE VEHICLE.
He takes .his bearings. Totters toward the side door.
Past TRASH, brimming ••• He stops. Frowns. Backs up.
Focuses on one barrel. Paper, coffee grounds. • • A BAG.
He pulls it free: ALLEN'S VIDEO -- The Specialist.
Then another -- Rocket Video. Another. Another. Four
bags altogether. This is too creepy. He replaces them.
A SOUND. Harry whirls--!
The DOOR's opening. He reacts, darts behind the SUV --
Ms. PINK-HAIR emerges with a collie at her heels. Snags
a LEASH from a wall peg. Exits to the street. Gone.
The house is his.
THE STAIRS - WITH HARRY
Harry moves upward, silently. Second floor. Peers into
rooms .•• Christmas TUNES, on the CD player. Droning.
He finds them in thebedroom:
FOUR COPIES of Jonny Gossamer. On the nightstand. 20th
Century Fox, 1979. Well, I'll. be damned, pe thinks
Then FREEZES. Swears under his breath.
THE FRONTDOOR is opening again downstairs • No way.
Less than two MINUTES? Whatever the case, she's back
And SOMEONEELSE is back. Harry hears a male VOICE:
MALEVOICE (O.S.)
First things first, you gotta get rid of
that car. Ditch it •
Harry pokes his head into the hall -- Ducks back, fast •
They're on the stairs. Her head appears, she's saying:
PINK HAIR
I'm sorry, I know you said there'd be •.•
consequences, but ••• I .• I saw that man
shot to death. I was so scared.
Coming to the bedroom. No time, no time to think-~ He
drops flat. Scrambles beneath the bed. Peers out:
Sees a set of pressed male SLACKSappear. Then JEANS,
sneakers; the girl. She sits on the bed, Harry feels it.
MALEVOICE (O.S.)
Yes, of course, we should absolutely talk
about it. ·
~INK HAIR.
Thanks, thank you so much. It's nothing
against your boss, I. .. I'm grateful... ·
MALEVOICE
I understand •. Believe me. I spoke with
him, and you won't have to do anything
like this ever again. Swear •
PINK HAIR
You mean it?·
. MALE.VOICE·
Yup.
A phhhtttt-! of sound. Another. An inch away, Harry
sees the carpet leap up--/ BOTH SHOTS penetrate the bed.
It's all HARRYcan do to keep from screaming.; He FEELS
her topple. She flops to the mattress. Rolls. off the
bed. Strikes the floor. He.recoils -- '
She's RIGHT THERE, inches away on the carpet.
Back arched spastically. Mouth open~
And even as he registers the bloody wounds, the fact that
she's not gonna make it, her HEADlolls to one side, eyes
wide in shock --
SHE SEES HARRY. All of a sudden, sees a strange man
under her bed. Maybe five seconds left to her. Says:
PINK HAIR
Who••• are you •• ?
Her eyes, inches from his. The two of them, close as
lovers ••• And Harry panics. Reacts instinctively.
Jams a finger to her lips. CUTS HER OFF.
Withdraws it. Presses it to his own lips. Eyes pleading
with her, please, oh, please be quiet •••
Her mo~th works soundlessly •. The light behind her eyes,
dimming. She looks to him, afraid, IMPLORING--
He wills her SILENT, that's right, honey, just for the
next few seconds, good girl •.•
Seconds are all she has. She passes them in pain. --
And then, obediently silent, she dies.
The lights go out. Her breath escapes. Harry having
denied her a single word. This will haunt him for as
long as he chooses to live.
He shifts his attention: watches the tailored slacks exit
the room.· Hears something plunk on the dresser top.
HARRYpeeks his head out. Looks to.the dresser -- There.
Sitting all by its lonesome: A silenced AUTOMATIC.
The son of a bitch left his gun.
Harry breaks cover. Climbs to his feet. Crosses to the
dresser. An automaton. Calmly .claims the gun.
Checks the safety. Flicks it off. Turns, hearing
FOOTSTEPSapproach. Grits his teeth. Bides his time
MR. FIRE DOESN'T SEE HIM at first. Appears in the
doorway, putting on gloves. Blanket, over his shoulder.
Then he does see Harry. Guy's a pro, gotta give it to
him. A flicker of reaction; that's all.
MR. FIRE
Hey. You still around, tough guy? Got a
gun, I see. Damn. You are tough.
Harry DOUBLETAPS, ba-bam--i Puts two in his gut •
FIRE regards him in stunned disbelief. Looks ·down. Sees
red. Harry pauses., adjusting his aim --
Then he just keeps pulling the trigger, burning new
holes. SHOT AFTER SHOT. The guy jitters; perforated
Flops against the stair rail. Overbalances. Legs,
yanked up and over-~ Plummets. Slams a glass coffee
table, explodes it. Bounces once. Hits, dead .•
HARRY, THE EXECUTIONER
Watches SMOKErise from the gun barrel. A song begins:
"I Saw Three Ships •. "
He kneels beside the dead girl. Grimaces as he wipes the
gun and places it in her hand.
HARRY
I'm sorry.
TIME CUT: DOWNSTAIRS- MOMENTS
LATER
FIRE'S GLOVE, fallen. Harry bends -- Picks it up.
Shrugs it onto his good hand.
Staggers into the kitchen. In .shock •
DOGbarking. Out in the garage. Without thinking, he
opens the door, admits the beast. It wiggles with joy.
Harry checks the cupboard. DOGSTUFF. Leash, bowl ••.
Medicine, yeah. Takes ointment. Hydrogen Peroxide.
Here's the gross part, UNWRAPS the injured hand •••
Reaches into the mess. Plucks free his precious .FINGER.
Sets it on the table·.· Crosses to the sink, e~tends his
·hand DOUSES it with peroxide. He nearly sc:iu;AMs.
I
BEHIND HIM -- we see the DOG, paws on the table •••
Steals the FINGER. Prances off, tail wagging. Harry
moves to the table. Stops. . What the hell •• ?
Looks underneath. Looks to the side. Hears an excited
little whuff--! from the corner
HAPPYDOGdangles the finger. Waggles his head, come get
me. Harry's in no mood. He makes a grab for the dog -- . ,
The animal DODGES. Vanishes around a corner. Pause .••
;
_
Sticks his·head out, peeks back at Harry. Another little
whuff--! This is fucking insane
HARRY'S PHONERINGS. He . jumps. Stabs the talk button --
HARRY
Yeah, what?
GAYPERRY (O.S.)
Where the hell are you?
HARRY
I'm ••• I'm with the kidnappers, one 0£
them, anyhow, he's ••. he's dead, I shot
him, Harmony's car is parked here --
GAYPERRY (O.S.)
Jesus. Harry, wipe the place clean and
get out of there!
HARRY
Hey, man, I ••• I can't. I WANTto.
GAYPERRY (O.S.)
So DO IT.
HARRY
My. • • my fingerprint's here, inan, the
dog's got it.
GAYPERRY (O.S.)
HARRY. No one's gonna dust the fucking
dog
HARRY
No, asshole, he's got the finger, the
whole thing, with the ••• the print part,
I think he thinks it's a game.
GAYPERRY (O.S.)
Get the finger. Kill the dog. Get out
of there. ·
HARRY
Hang ••• hang on, I think
As he watches, the dog raises its muzzle -- CHOMPS, once.
Throat convulses. An audible gulp--!
HARRY
I, uh ••• I think weire safe. Hey,
Perry •• ?
(pause)
(MORE)·
HARRY(cont'd)
Perry, I ••• I shot a guy. I never done
that •
He hits the button. Hangs up. Starts to cry. DISSOLVE:
A TV NEWSWOMAN,
doing a remote from outside the same
house:
NEWSWOMAN
••• Have been linked, through items found
within this Silverlake home, to the
kidnap-murder of socialite Veronica
Dexter. Police theorize a possible
falling-out between the kidnappers,
resulting in at least two deaths and
possibly a third tonight, as •••
She goes on, we PULL BACK from the TV screen .••
INT . ..HOTELCOFFEE SHOP - HOTEL- NIGHT
A patched-up HARRYsits with HARMONY
& GAY PERRY.
GAYPERRY
So. This evening, was it· "Jonny
Gossamer" enough for you?
HARRY
Tell you the truth? Jonny Gossamer
always has a WAYbigger ending. Harmqny,
you know; there's a part where he gets
tortured --
HARMONY
Tortured, sure. Then he breaks free and
shoots sixteen guys.
HARRY
Always sixteen, funny thing.
(beat)
So listen. It's ••• it's over, right?
They said the kidnappers were all dead
HARMONY
and PERRY exchange an awkward look:
GAY PERRY
Harry, I'd be lying if I said I didn't
still have •.•• questions.
(off Harry's look:)
Harmony's sister -- if she stumbled on a
murder plot, why hire ME to go film it?
Why not simply call the police?
HARMONY
speaks_ up:
HARMONY
And I still think the daughter pusiness
is wanky. Last summer she says Daddy
siphoned off Mom's estate. Sues Daddy.
Flies to L.A. to put Daddy behind bars.
HARRY
Has this •.. thing, this reconcilement--
. . GAYPERRY
Reconciliation, idiot. Yeah •••
Everything changes, boom. She withdraws·
the suit, moves in, suddenly they're
inseparabl.e.
HARRY
So, what are you saying, we're gonna,
like, probe deeper •. ?
GAYPERRY
Absolutely not. Isn't that right?
He casts a pointed look at HARMONY-- she scowls. A
TEENAGERacross the room pipes up:
TEENAGER
Hey, you guys talking about a murder?
Perry looks around, startled.
TEENAGER
You just said you saw that Dexter chick
gettin' killed. Someone paid you to film
it.
GAY PERRY 1.
No, no, we were just talking.
TEENAGER
Oh, 'cause I heard you say it just a
second ago.
HARMONY
Look, pal, we're making a movie here,
.capisce? About the murder.
TEENAGER
Already? Man, that's quick!
Perry shakes his head. Gather his coat; starts to rise
HARRY
Ye.ah. Well, it worked.
HARMONY
No one else thinks so.
HARRY
I don't count?
HARMONY
You're new here. Look around, there's
younger and better.
HARRY
I don't want younger and better, I want
you.
(flinches)
Um, that didn't come out right
HARMONY
It doesn It matter. Look, . I should go -- ..
She turns, slings her bag over her shoulder. Harry.looks
up at the winter moon. A pause .•• then:
HARRY
I steal shit.
HARMONY
(blinks)
Come c;tgain?
HARRY
That's what I do for a living. I steal
audio-visual components.
He regards her with an odd, thoughtful expression. 1
HARRY
I've never finished a Goddamn thing I
started, ever. School, marriage ••• can't
even take off a lousy liquor store,
halfway through, boom -- I cut and run •.
HARMONY
Like the other night, you're all over me,
then you give up --
HARRY
switched to the homely friend, exactly.
Listen, please don't go yet, this •••
(MORE)
HARRY(cont'd)
(beat)
This isn't finished .
They stand, breath pluming in front of them. She sighs:
HARMONY
Does this dump have a bar?
Ratings
Scene 46 - Echoes of the Past
They stumble in, tipsy. He sets his drink down. In the
dark, watches Harmony shed her top. Step out of her
skirt.
HARMONY,her toned, contoured form •.•
Then a quick FLASH: DEADGIRL, wet dress, molded to her.
~ACK TO NOW: Harry blinks.
HARRY
I just thought of something.
(looks up)
Ronnie Dexter. I saw her body up close,
hell, I carried the damn thing. Both
times •• 7 The dress was, like, soaked
through, transparent •
HARMONY
Where are you going with this?
HARRY
Perry said this chick was heavy into the
born-again bit, but ••• ah, it's probably
nothing, just .•• well, if she had on
underwear, I didn't see any, um, I guess
I'm taking the couch--?
HARMONY
has dispensed with underwear. Slides into bed.
HARMONY
Yeah, thanks .•• I mean, you could sleep
here, but ••• it would just be sleeping,
if that's gonna frustrate you --
He finishes his drink. Shrugs. Slides in. beside her.
He.pulls her close. Begins to stroke her hair. She
sighs deeply -- lays her head back on his chest •
HARMONY
So iong ago.· Since I took that midnight
bus. Things didn't really ••. turn out
how we hoped. Did they?
HARRY
I can think of worse places to be.
She meets his eye.
HARMONY
Is that so, Whitey •• ?
Her voice soft, slurred ••• He rolls his head toward her.
HARRY
You calling me a knight •• ?
HARMONY
Maybe, yeah, except for the boner; that's
not too knightly, I guess --
HARRY
The hell it isn't. Nightly and most
mornings •
She giggles. Closes her eyes. They lie there. Outside,
rain falls. Neon -flashes •. Pause Harry sits up.
HARRY
Fuck it. I'm not a knight. I'm going
nuts here.
He switches on the lamp.
HARMONY
Harry?. I'm sorry. If I'm teasing, if •••
if you're ••• I mean, I can do ••• well,
SOMETHING,if you're .all uncomfo--
HARRY.
No. For Chrissakes, no.
He stands. Dry-washes his face with his hands.
HARRY
I don't want you to offer it as .•• as,
like, a COURTESY,I --
She stops him mid-sentence. Slips out of bed
Materializes before him. Presses a finger to his lips ...
Finger, the opening act for her mouth. They kiss. A
coin-toss who's more frightened. They pull back •••
HARRY
I ... wow. I saw fireworks. Did you see
fireworks?
HARMONY
No, but I was facing the other direction.
(sad sigh)
Oh, Harry ••• Once we do this, you'll stop
calling me.
HARRY
That's crazy. You're my dream girl,
this ••• this is destiny.
Pause. She regards him searchingly ••• nods, sighs:
HARMONY
Okay, Harry. Tonight, I'll believe that.
She rolls atop him. Eyes, luminous in the half-dark ••.
HARMONY
For one night •• ? I'll believe anything •
They fall together; few years.late, a buck or two short.
SAMEBED - BREAKOF DAY
· Harmony, sprawled. Smiling. Spill of hair across a
pillow. Harry beside her, looking suitably worn-out.
CLOSE ON HARRY: Seeming peaceful ••• His eyes are
closed ••• Suddenly they OPEN. He frowns:
FLASH TO: FOOTBALLFIELD - 19ij7 - HARRY & HARMO~Y
H.armony, 16. Saying goodbye to HARRY. The exact same
FLASHBACK.weviewed previously {page 64) --
HARMONY (AGE 17)
Gotta catch my bus. If I don't go now, I
never will. I'm gonna miss you •• ~.
But now, the camera ACCELERATES,sort of fast-forwards
thru the goodbye .•• ZIPS past Harmony, veers UPWARD--!
WHAM--! Stops dead on the STADIUMCLOCK.
93 •
WITHHARRY,PRESENTDAY -- His eyes snap OPEN. He speaks
softly, as much to himself as to her.
HARRY
Uh, Harm •• ? Way back when, the night you
left Indiana You, uh ••• you sure you
took the midnight bus •• ? Not the 8:30?
HARMONY
Hrnmm•• ? Oh. 8:30 •• ? Yeeahhh ••• Guess
you're right. DUH. Seemed later.
By now, though, Harry is frowning furiously --
HARRY
She didn't want me to give her a ride •••
FLASH TO: FOOTBALLFIELD.- BACKWE ~O AGAIN - 1987
YOUNGHARRYgets into his car, watches HARMONY's
retreating form, moving off through the tall grass •••
Here we go again, as CAMERAovertakes her •• !, Zips past,
makes an ARROWtoward a house ••• lone MAILBOXout front;
painted there, a name: CHUTNEY. CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 47 - The Walk of Shame
- SAME
Harmony's PURSE comes flying out. Strikes her in the
chest as she stands outside the room, in tears.
HARRY·
(sticks his head out)
You said you were gonna quote-unquote
"wave·goodbye" to him. Chock, my best•
friend, Jesus!!
HARMONY
I. just stopped ~, I •••
HARRY
For three and a half-hours?? You made. it
with Chook Chutney. Just say it.·
HARMONY
I ••• I'd never see him again, he ••• he
looked so sad •••
(scoops up her purse)
Harry, for Chrissake, this was forever
ago, I was a different.person •• !
94 •
HARRY
Watch your hand.
She withdraws her fingers -- He SLAMSTHE DOORas hard as
he can. CUT TO:
EXT. STREET - HOTEL ENTRANCE,...DAWN
HARMONY.does the Walk of Shame. Stumbles out in tears,
using her rolled-up socks and panties as Kleenex. A TAXI
pulls to the curb. She gets in. CUT TO:
. FOURTHFLOOR - HARRYAT HIS WINDOW
- LOOKINGOUT
There she goes. Sorry, sport. He looks haggard.
INT. TAXICAB- WITH HARMONY
HARMONY, brazenly weeping. Fishes in her bag for an
actual Kleenex. Stuffs in the panties and socks --
Abruptly, she .FREEZES. Breath suspended. Something goes
click behind her eyes. CUT TO: .
Ratings
Scene 48 - Urgent Revelations
The phone RINGS, startling him. He snatches it, rasps:
HARRY
••• Yeah ••• ·
HARMONY,
barely intelligible -- clearly just sobbing:
HARMONY
(O.S.)
Wah she waped •• ?
HARRY
Huh?
HARMONY (O.S,}
The Dextow Goel. Waped -- Raped. Sowey.
Harry falters,·caught off guard -- clears his throat:
HARRY
No. Um••• M.E. 1 s report showed ••• no
indication of ••• stuff. Rape.
Click •• ! He stares dumbly at the receiver. Huh?
Slowly sets down the phone. Sighs. Looks at the bed ••.
Stops, squints -- she's left something behind:
It's the BOOKshe lifted from Dexter. Must've fallen
from her bag. Harry bends down, scans the title --
Straighten Upand Die Right - A Jonny Gossamer Thriller
Cover: LIGHTNING flash. JONNYwalks a rainswept city •••
Harry tosses it aside. Flops full-length onto the BED --
CUT TO BLACK. Pause .•• then SUPER:
DAY FOUR - THE SIMPLE ART OF MURDER
Next thing HARRYknows,· WHOOMPH-- ! He' s being SWATTED in
the face, repeatedly. GAYPERRY hauls him out of bed --
HARRY
Huh--? But .•. what did I do--?
GAY PERRY
HARMONY'S IN TROUBLE.
(beat)
·Grab a fuqking coat and let's go.
FOUNTAIN AVENUE - DRIVING - WITH HARRY.AND PERRY
PERRY, in a highly agitated state. Fishes out a pocket
recorder, hits Play. Holds it up:
HARMONY(ON TAPE}
Perry, me. Listen, this. Ronnie Dexter
business stinks. I'm gonna check
something -- something Harry said. Call
me. If I'm right, you're gonna shit.
He clicks it off.
. GAYPERRY
What did you say to her?
HARRY
Back up. I don't get what's happening
GAYPERRY
What's happening is she solved this
thing. I know her. The sly little bitch
saw something I missed and she solved the
case. Now she's disappeared. ·
He draws a ragged breath. Pounds the steering wheel •
96 •
GAY PERRY
Before she left-~ Did you talk about the
case? Anything at all, think.
CUT TO: OVERHEAD
ANGLEON CAR
Heading west on Fountain ••• Pause ••. Pause ••• SCREECH-!
It stops. U-turns. Goes hurtling back the other way.
HARRY (V .o.)
I tell him about destiny; ·he's shaking
his head. About seeing fireworks; .he
doesn't care. I mention the underwear
thing -- he has a fucking conniption.
· (beat)
And you? How about it, filmgoer? Have
you solved "The case of the ••. the Dead
People In L.A.?" Times Square audiences,
please dcin' t shout at the scr·ee~. And
stop picking that, it'll just get worse.
Ratings
Scene 49 - Revelations at the Dexter Clinic
STREET - NIGHT
Camera CRANESDOWNpast trees, past a sign: DEXTER
CLINIC: Rehabilitation Center. In through a WINDOW...
A FAT WOMAN sits fashioning a clay.Santa. She is insane.
Smiles without warning. Makes. odd darting movements.
Behind her, someone CLEARS HIS THROAT. She turns --
Sees HARRYand PERRY standing just inside her door.
HARRY
Good evening, Ma'am. How are you?
WOMAN
They gave away my crickets •.
HARRY
Sorry to hear that. Say, listen ••.
have you by any chance seen this
woman around?
Holds out a snapshot of HARMONY. She shakes her head, no.
GAY PERRY
(bull by the horns)
Ma'am, I hope you won't take
offense when I ask if you're
wearing anything at all under your
hospital greens. Undergarments.
It's important •
She doesn't miss a beat. Steps out of her bottoms --
Stands brazenly nude, holding Santa •
HARRY
That ••. is one sorry ass ••• clay Santa.
HALLWAY
- SAME
They walk briskly, checking room to room. Harry whispers:
HARRY
That's the clue, isn't it, Ronnie
Dexter was here. She was a
patient.
GAY PERRY
(nods)
Private clinic. Where even nice
girls don't wear undies.
Harry frowns:
HARRY
Yo. How could Ronnie•Dexter be a
patient while she's having birthday
parties and dancing and shit?
Perry turns, exasperated. GRABSHarry by the shoulders --
they·lock eyes:
GAY.PERRY
Harry, think. First she hates her
Dad, then she loves him.· Sues him,
then backs down. WHY? I'll tell
you why --
HARRYspeaks, then, so softly we can barely hear him:
HARRY
Oh, my God. It's two different
girls .•
He looks up at Perry, eyes haunted.
HARRY
He stashed his daughter in here •••
while a ringer took her place.
Perry nods. Touches the tip of his nose.
FOOTSTEPS, approaching. Perry grabs Harry.
Yanks him inside a BATHROOM
--
THEYARE SILENT as a whistling ORDERLYpasses by outside ••.
Harry shakes his head.
HARRY
This is nuts. You, of all people
Perry nods grimly. Leans against the sink.
GAYPERRY
All ~e needed was a girl who looked
enough like her to appear in court
and withdraw the complaint.
( soft chuckle)
No one's gonna believe us. They'll
say it '·s right out of a Jonny
Gossamer book.
HARRY
Of course it is. The guy who
planned the crime READ ALL.THE
GODDAMN BOOKS. They're in his
house. Plus he was-in that piece-
of-shit movi--
He breaks off, mid-sentence •
HARRY
Oh, my God.
Turns slowly, regards Perry from across the room.
HARRY
Hey, man .• ? Listen, this girl,
this ••• impostor, um, you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Perry shrugs. Frowns.
GAY PERRY
I'm a desperateman, in need of a
replacement daughter ••• Same time,
along comes a girl. Harmony's
sister, looking for her Daddy.
HARRY
Fresh off the bus. Blonde, petite--
GAYPERRY
I'd say I found my impostor.
(beat)
Fuck it. Let's get out of here •
Ratings
Scene 50 - Confrontation at the Clinic
They exit by the back door, furtive. Come waltzing up the
loading ramp. Crossing the parking lot. Toward the
surrounding TREES
VOICE (O.S.)
Good evening, gentlemen.
A VOICE, behind them. They spin, startled.
Caught: like deer in headlights.
AN ORDERLYin hospital whites.
Tall, muscular .•• Fully armed~ Swell.
GAY PERRY
Sir, hi. Um, we're lost
The man unholsters his REVOLVER.
GUARD
Mr. van Shrike, hello. Aren't you
chilly? Come back inside •
GAYPERRY
Actually? I 'm f rorn back east, I 'm ..
kinda digging the cold --
ORDERLY
Or I can kill you here.
Perry sighs. Damn. It's never easy •••
Ratings
Scene 51 - A Fatal Misfire
The guard marches. them back toward the building. The barrel
of the pistol jammed in Perry's back.
GAYPERRY
(jovial)
You know, Harry, I was thinking
some more about real life versus
fiction.
HARRY
Is that a fact?
GAY PERRY
Like how, in movies, you stick a
gun in some schmuck's back, you
say, "keep walking," and no sweat,
you got a hostage.
HARRY
I do believe I've seen that film.
GAY PERRY·
Funny thing is, a real pro insists on
five feet of separation, the reason
being •••
Perry transforms to an urgent BLUR. Spins, lashes out--!
SWIPES THE GUN, pretty as you like.
GAY PERRY
-- The schmuck will take it off you
and make you eat it.
(savage grin)
Down the hill. In those trees.
Now.
DARKNESS- SHADOWY
BRANCHESOVERHEAD
The GUARDfalls to his knees. Perry"s got his own pistol,
Harry the revolver, and no one's in a particularly good mood.
GAY PERRY
Tell me where Harmony is.
GUARD
Fuck you, Mary.
GAY PERRY
Uh-oh. Pal, you don't get it.
This. ain't good cop, bad cop. This
is Fag and New Yorker, you're in
deep trouble.
(sullen silence)
For Chrissake, what are you
protecting? It' s over. Finis·.
Dexter's going down.
He begins ticking off items on his fingers.
GAY PERRY
I know about Ronnie's lawsuit, I
know Dexter was facing ruin, and
killing her wouldn't fix it •
(MORE)
·101.
GAYPERRY (cont'd)
(beat)
I know he switched daughters,
which, God help us, actually DID
work, at least.until last week --
Harry chimes in:
HARRY
Yeah, what happened, that he had to
kill her?
Perry restrains himself:
GAYPERRY
Harry. You wanna put a· sock in it?
HARRY
I'm just asking --
GAYPERRY
You don't ask questions, now it
looks like I'm guessing, we don't
know shit!
HARRY
Right, right. Sorry .
GAYPERRY
And for the record, it was Ronnie's
old boyfriend. Guy flying in from
Paris, remember?
(back to his prisoner)
Am I right?
GUARD
Fuck_you.
GAYPERRY , 1
Exactly. Dexter decided to cut and
run. Killed Ronnie, threw a dress 1
on her. Fa~ed a kidnap, dumped the
body and walked away clean. Except
for one thing.
HARRY
Underpants.
GAYPERRY
One lousy pair of cotton undies.
Pretty funny, huh?
(chuckles)
I'm gonna break your nose now •
102 •
He palms the gun, SLAMSit home.
GUARD,nose shattered. Perry cocks the gun:
GAY PERRY
Picture a bullet inside your head,
chief. Right .here. Right now.
GUARD
Fuck you •••
(spits blood)
And anyway, that's ambiguous.
GAYPERRY
Excuse me? How is that ambiguous?
HARRY
I think he means that when you say,
"picture it inside your head;"
okay, is that, a bullet will.BE
inside your head, or is it, picture
it in your head, like, form an
IMAGE, see what I'm saying?
GAYPERRY
Will you shut up?
GUARD
Look. I don't know about a girl.
Seriously.
~y
Yeah, yeah -- You know what, the
hell with this guy. Step aside.
Harry, galvanized, comes forward.
Dumps all five slugs from his revolver.
Replaces a SINGLE BULLET in the cylinder Spins it.
Steps past Perry. Kneels, says:
HARRY·
The girl. Harmony. WHEREIS SHE?
GAYPERRY
What the hell are you doing?
Harry winks at Perry. Levels the gun --
HARRY
You wanna play hardball? Huh?
,FINE. I can do that. Where. Is.
THE GIRL??
Pulls the trigger, CLICK--!
Except it doesn't go click.
Just like that. Bang-1 He's wearing the guy.
GUNSHOT,echoing on the breeze •.•
A frozen moment. PERRY, speechless.
The corpse topples sideways, clunk.
Barry, eyes wide. Shaking his head.
No. Can't be. It NEVERgoes off the first time •••
GAYPERRY
What did you just do??
HARRY
No, that ••• that wasn't supposed to ••• I
only put one, one bullet --
GAYPERRY
You put a LIVE ROUNDin that gun?
HARRY
I never meant to .•• There was, like, an
eight per cent chance, I just figured
GAYPERRY
Eight per cent.
HARRY
Well, maybe more ••.
GAYPERRY
Eight per ce--WHO THE HELL TAUGHTYOU
MATH?
Abruptly, Perry's cell phone BEEPS•• ! STARTLESthem. "I
Will Survive, touch-tone.
' He kills ·the ringer, hisses:
GAYPERRY
What?
INTERCUT- GAY PERRY & HARMONY
- ON THE PHONE
HARMONY
(O.S.}
Perry, hi. It's me •
104 •
GAYPERRY
Where the hell are you?
HARMONY (0.S.)
At home.
GAY PERRY
At ••• At HOME
•• ?
HARMONY ( 0. S • )
Just got in. I was out buying a phone.
Are you okay? You don't sound ~ood
GAY PERRY
What ••• What about your lead
HARMONY (O.S.)
Oh, that. Ah, never mind,. I had this
crazy idea, straight out of Jonny
Gossamer --
GAY PERRY
It's not crazy. Don't talk, just listen:
call downtown, see if Ronnie Dexter's
body has gone to the mortuary~ Find out
.·if there ' s a cremation scheduled. Call
me back.
He clicks off. Turns. Sees HARRYsitting, ashen-faced
· and trembling. Hugging his knees. ·
GAY PERRY
Come on. He woulda killed you, he said
so • GET UP • We're through here.
He grabs Harry's arm, yanks him to his feet. Turns,
storms uphill to ,the parking lot.
HARRY
What about this guy?
GAYPERRY
I'll get the car. You shot him,
you drag him.
Ratings
Scene 52 - Captured Chaos
Just below the lip of the hill, Harry drops the corpse.
Calls up to Perry:
HARRY
Okay. All set.
(brushes himself off)
So, listen, I got an idea. Let's take
this son of a bitch Dexter down.
He crests the hill -- Stops. Draws q sharp breath:
HARLAN DEXTERhimself is leaning against a car.
HARRY
-- um, down to. • • the
racetrack,
buy the son of a gun·a drink, what
do you say? Um, Perry •• ?
PERRY, TO HIS LEFT
Hands behind his head, while Dexter's bodyguard AURELIO
covers him with a short~barreled shotgun.
Harry shakes his head. Like a kid having a tantrum.
HARRY
No. Not fucking fair •• !
DEXTER
Aurelio. Give Mr. van Shrike a pat-
down.
Aurelio steps forward, clearly not thrilled. Starts to frisk
Perry. The detective pretends delirium. Moans. Grinds his
hips.· Aurelio YANKSfree. Spits.
AURELIO
Fucking maricon, shit.
Perry;s CEL PHONE chirps again. He looks a question at
Dexter
I. DEXTER
I
Toss it here. Let's see who it is.
Aurelio fishes out Perry's phone, tosses it -- Harry moves
without thinking. SNAGSit, hits the bQtton, says:
HARRY
We're in trouble, Dexter's got us--
oooff!
A punch to the sternum, paralyzing -- Aurelio recovers the
phone. Puts it to his ear, LISTENS ••• Smiles •
AURELIO
He just asked a carpet cleaning
service to save him.
DEXTER
Sorry, Harry. Good hands, though.
HARRY
... Used to ••• be a magician •••
INT. HARMONY'S KITCHEN - SAME TIME
Harmony, on her newly-bought cell phone
HARMONY
And, for an additional $39.99,
we'll carpet up to three rooms
in. • • in HALF the time.! .That' s a
$40 value -- Act today!
Listens ••. Nothing -- She's moving. BOLTS for the door.
Ratings
Scene 53 - Holiday Torture
AURELIO hums a holiday tune ••• Applies gel to ELECTRODES.
Plops them on Harry's testicles. DEXTERlooks on •
HARRY
(playing tough)
The chick in the casket •.• she ain't even
gonna match the . ringer you been toting.
around .•• Ever think of that, genius--?
GAYPERRY
(tiredly)
Of course he did, Harry. That's why he's
having. the-body.cremated.
Dexter nods, impressed. Just_ then his phone beeps •• ! He
puts it to his ear. Grunts. Hangs up.
DEXTER
Speak of the Devil. Gotta go.
He shrugs into his coat. .Waves to Harry and Perry:
DEXTER
Perry, nice to have known you. Um --
HARRY
Harry •
107 •
DEXTER
Harry, of course -- Glad to have met you,
hope you won't judge Los Angeles based
solely on your experience tonight .•
He exits. Heels, clocking away down the hall. As he
departs, an ORDERLYENTERS carrying an ominous black BOX.
HARRY
(swallows hard)
Hey, Perry ••• I, uh ••• I'm kinda scared
here, ·man.
GAYPERRY
Aurelio, give the kid a break. Do unto
others, and all that. It's Christmas.
Perry squirms -- and instantly the gun trains on him.
The ORDERLYattaches two trailing WIRES to the black box.
For the record, Aurelio's got another gun; this· one a
plastic WATERpistol. Throughout, the sick-o spritzes
Harry every so often. Perry snarls at him:
GAY PERRY
You like this, don't you, you pseudo-
macho shithead? You know, you could zap
this guy in the chest -- sure be
simpler •••
(frowns)·
Hrnmrnm. Know what I think? I think you
like lookin' at his works, Is that it-~?
Aurelio PISTOL-WHIPS him. Perry grins savagely:
GAYPERRY
Dude, face it. You got it in you, man.
The ORDERLY.looks to Aurelio -- Aurelio nods -- He turns
up the rheostat. HARRYSCREAMS. Thrashes.
PERRY, seemingly impassive •. A TIC betrays him. He
begins to FLEX the fingers of his hand; over and over •••
EXT. LEHRMANBROS. MORTUARY
- ESTABLISHING - NIGHT
A TRANSPORTVAN backs toward the-mortuary doors. Arrayed
around the van, four DUDES, all natty in DARK SUITS. ·
Ostensibly mourners -- oh, please. Drug addicts.
MEANWHILE,ACROSS THE STREET - WITH HARMONY
She coasts to the curb. Lights off. Peers out --
As HARLANDEXTER, NOW, pulls into the mortuary lot. One
of the apes approaches
APE
Mr. Dexter, sir. The coffin's here.
He looks up. RAIN, starting to fall ••• Nods, says:
DEXTER
Let's burn the bitch.
Ratings
Scene 54 - Escape from the Dexter Clinic
ROOM"- SAME
Aurelio speaks calmly to Harry, GUN never leaving Perry:
AURELIO
Who. Else. Knows •• ? Who did you tell?
HARRY
No one, I ••• I swear .•• I don't even LIVE
here .•• !
Another twist of the dial. HARRYarches backward. The
current abates. He sags, semi-conscious. Comes round,
gagging, coughing -- And that's it. Gay Perry's had it •
GAYPERRY
ENOUGH. Aurelio, look me in the eyes.
Look me in the eyes and say the words, "I
have never had a man." Corne on, do it.
AURELIO
Fuck you, maricon.
GAYPERRY
Is that a yes •• ? I didn't hear you.
AURELIO·
I will enjoy having you as· a patient.
GAYPERRY
You believe this, Harry? He can't say.·
it.
AURELIO
Enough. SHUT UP.
GAYPERRY
Why can't you just say it? Huh? If
you're not gay, tell me. JUST TELL ME.
AURELIO
I will do nothing you say to do.
GAYPERRY
'Cause you CAN'T. You've done it, you've
smoked pork, and you DAMNWELLKNOWIT.
. (grins)
Listen to me,· you piece of shit, I've
seen it from Day One, you WANTme --
PERRY JAMS HIS HANDdown the waistband of his slacks~
GAYPERRY
Here it is. You want some of this? Corne
over here. Yori want a shot of this??
AURELIO
Shut your Goddamn mouth-~!
He springs forward, GUNpoised for a savage blow --
Doesn't feel it at first; doesn't realize his kneecap's
exploded.
A TONGUEOF FLAMEleaps, unbelievably, from between
Perry's LEGS.
Aurelio blinks, dumbfounded. Catches on quick --
. As THE DERRINGERfires again.
Takes him in the head. Drops him -- Perry's moving
before the body hits. Jerks his legs upward. SPINS
Swivels on his ass, one smooth motion, FIRES-!
Wounds the orderly. Downs him. Then he's up, crossing
toward HARRY-- who's staring in comic disbelief. Perry
reveals his little 3-shot gun, it emerges from his pants.
GAY.PERRY
Homophobes never search there.
HARRY
Thank God you ••• had a gun in there •••
For a second, I .thought it was ••• a gay
thing, somehow ••• you guys just DID that.
GAY PERRY
Can you stand? Walk?
HARRY
Neither~
GAYPERRY
Wrong answer. Up and at 'em,
chief, I'll help. Come on, you're
Jonny fucking Gossamer, you're
electric, baby.
Harry groans . Reaches down. • • Pulls up his pants.
HARRY
I take ••• beatings ••• and spit them
out ••• for breakfast •••
GAYPERRY
·Anything you say, chief. Corne on.
He heads for the door, Harry's arm slung round him.
- PARKINGLOT - RAIN, A DOWNPOUR
Ratings
Scene 55 - Frantic Escape
Dexter's SUITS, huddled just inside the building.
Suits Harmony just fine. She approaches the VAN DOOR,
undetected. Lifts the handle --
INT. VAN - CARGOAREA
In here, the DRUMMING is cacaphanous. Harmony spots the
COFFIN in back. Wriggles next to it, ·raises the lid.
• Clicks a penlight, directs it down a reverent whisper:
HARMONY
Oh, God ••• No way, we're right.
SERIES OF SHOTS:
She FLINGS herself over the seats. Brake, ·off. Snaps
her belt. Checks the mirror. Keys the IGNITION
Chaos. Men, POURINGout of the doorway. Shouting -- She
gets rubber and PEELS OUT. CUT TO:
EXT. DEXTERCLINIC - SIDE EXIT - NIGHT
HARRY& PERRY burst through the door, into the DELUGE.
Struggling forward, Harry's in bad shape •••
EXT. HIGHWAY- DRIVING - NIGHT
HARMONY comes flying out of an alley. Slides through a
hard left, throws a R00STERTAIL of water --
INT. SUV - WITH HARMONY
The PHONERINGS, startles her. Built into the van, a
hands free intercom. Rings again. She fumbles for it:
DEXTER (O.S.)
Hello, Harmony! Happy Holidays.
HARMONY
I got your daughter.
DEXTER ( 0 • S • )
Let me guess: you want your friends.
HARMONY
Without a scratch on them.
DEXTER (O.S.)
Or else?
HARMONY
Or else I take your daughter out on the
town. Show her off.
DEXTER (O.S.)
I see. Well, you two girls have fun •
I'll get back to you shortly.
Click--! He's gone. Suddenly, another ring: HER phone.
HARMONY
(hits the button)
Yeah.
GAYPERRY (O.S.)
It's me.
HARMONY
Oh, my God, how'd you get away?
GAYPERRY (O.S.)
I fired a small-calibre gun I keep next
to my balls. Listen, they hid my car.
We're on Olive, by the freeway, any way
you could --
HARMONY
I'm thirty seconds away. Be where I can
see you, be ready to move.
She glances in her mirror, draws a sharp breath -- A
BLACKSEDAN, closing fast •.
112 •
HARMONY
Shit. They're on my tail, gotta.go.
She hangs up. Stashes the phone.· RAIN, coming in sheets
now. Obscuring the road.
Up ahead -- FREEWAY. She checks the mirror. They're
closing fast. She tromps the pedal, BLAZES forward •••
The SEDANRAMSHER from behind.
She swears. Fishtails madly •. The van crosses the center
line. SKIDDING. She snaps around, facing forward
A PICKUP TRUCK. Bearing down. She screams--! Cuts the
wheel. VEERS, last second --
Ratings
Scene 56 - Chaos Under the Overpass
On foot, HARRY& PERRY watch, helpless, as
THE VANGOES OVER SIDEWAYS.
Smashes down. Slides, 40 miles an hour, out of control --
IMPACT.
Strikes the freeway OVERPASS. Ricochets· off, whipsaws •. !
COFFIN, EJECTED--!
The ornate crate SAILS ••• end over end, glistening •••
Comes down, wham--! Atop the big GREENFREEWAYSIGN.
Lodges in the struts. Stuck.
The COFFIN BURSTS OPEN, not all the way --
Enough to admit one trailing HAND.
One dead girl's hand dangling limp over the freeway.
Spotlighted. Festooned with Christmas lights.
Got it? Good. Now let's.wind the.clock back 5 seconds;
because another, concurrent result of the crash is --
HARMONY,FLUNGLOOSE--!
Expelled along with the coffin •
MUD-SLOPE- BESIDE FREEWAY
Parting gift: the door CRUNCHESher leg --
Then she's tumbling free. Downslope, head over heels,
bouncing, skipping--! Toward the rushing TRAFFIC.
Events now accelerate; the next 5 pages, all in a rush
Harmony slams to a stop. Breath driven from her lungs •••
Above her, THE CASKET looms, backlit. Strangely
beautiful. She gapes, wide-eyed •.•
Pow--:! MUD, spattered. She spins, startled --
SOMEONEJUST SHOT AT HER.
There. · Up· at the fence -- the SEDAN. A shadowy
FIGURE. • • raising his arm ••.
She acts on instinct; Rolls BENEATHTHE OVERPASS--
Almost gets away clean. POW--! A bullet tags her.
Oh, shit. CREASES HER, skull-deep~
She flops in the surrounding dark. A rag doll, as, ABOVE--
HARRYAND PERRY
·. Come charging and/or stumbling. Huffing, wheezing.
They near the OVERPASS. TRAFFIC below, whooosssshing by-~!
Harry -- bobbing, weaving. We realize he's been tortured,
he's a mess. He slumps. Nearly falls to his knees.
HARRY
HARMONY--!
Harry's shout, full of pent-up rage, frustration--:
ANOTHERANGLE - 20 YARDSUPRANGE
Actually? He might want to tone it down a bit, because
HIS VOICE CARRIES
The GUNMAN,halfway in the car. Stops, looks --
And that, brother, is when it goes all to hell •
The guy reacts: spins, smoothly, GUN coming up •••
GAY PERRY
Jesus, get down! !
Events proceed in the following order:
GAY PERRY
Flings himself in front of Harry. One continuous move, gun
materializing, blooming --
Perfect. Perry takes out the gunman. Blows him down.
Unfortunately, in the last second of his life, the unhelpful
badguy fires back •••
Also dead on target. · Perry's chest registers impact.
Bang-bang, everybody gets hit. Fuck. In three seconds,
the entire world changes.
First the GUNMAN
goes down, drilled through the neck.
Then PERRY grunts, staggers. PIERCED.
Still not done. The slug burns through him, EXITS .••
Keeps on GOING
HITS HARRY.
Upper thigh. A soft smack of sound. He's puzzled at first.
Suddenly SEATED. Punched by an invisible fist-~
SEEN FROMAFAR
Two tiny figures collapse in the rain.
A third plops flat on his ass.
Three. stark seconds. Awkward, brutal.
Perry's not getting up.
MEANWHILE,THE SEDAN TAKES OFF
Sweeps out onto the boulevard, slewing rain as
HARRY
Crawls toward Perry, who lies slack and unmoving.
He stares, incredulous. No. Wrong •
HARRY
Perry, GET UP ! !
As if in response, the GUN slips from Perry's hand ••.
PUSH IN ON HARRY-- Staring, dumbstruck.
HARRY
You shit, don't do this to me •• !
UNDERNEATH
- TUNNEL- WITH HARMONY
In her little world. She lies, semi-conscious .••
OVERPASS- BACKWITH HARRY
Something tells him to cast a look DOWNRANGE,
he does --
. HIS POV: 1/4 MILE AWAY
Oh, shit. THE SEDANisn't through yet. It's slowing,
swinging onto an on-ramp -- Heading BACKthis direction.
Back to finish off Harmony.
Harry freaks. Stumbles to his feet, .38 Half out of his
pocket. He staggers forward. Flustered. Panicked.
SLIPS .• ! ~egs, whisked out from under. Down he goes.
Hits HARD. Cries out in pain. His thigh, SEARING.
Tries to sit up. Groans. Flops in a puddle --
BELOW, IN THE TUNNEL- WITH HARMONY
She lies, a seeming corpse ... Only her lips, trembling:
HARMONY
Harold •••
( spasm of pain)
Awesome. • . Might •••
She rolls over. As her weight shifts, we see but she
does not: She rolls over her CELL PHONE. Groans •.• ·
Oblivious to having just placed a call, and meanwhile
OVERPASS - BACK WITH HARRY
A stir of movement. His eyelids flutter, then open --
MUSIC: "I Will Survive."
Sees Perry's PHONE, lying dented. Numbly regards the
flashing ID window -- Who the hell •• ?
HARMONY,it says. Beyond sense or reason, he depresses
the button:
HARRY
Harmony .• ?
He frowns. STATIC at first .•• Then, scarcely audible •••
HARMONY{O.S.)
Harold ••• use ••• awesome might •••
The words richochets in his awareness.
HARMONY
Save me from this. • • hopeless plight ••.•
Resonating. He closes his eyes. Oh, Christ ••.
In the downpour, he plants his elbows. Levers himself
up. Grits his teeth. Gets a knee under him. PUSHES.
Trembling, he stands. Draws himself to his full height.
Soaked, bleeding. Hands shaking .
Staggers to the overpass WALL. Head down. Bleary.
LIGHTNINGflares--! Fills the sky. Etches HAROLDin
sharp relief. He looks out upon the zipping VORTEX.
Reaches in his jacket for his .38.
Oh, shit. He's gonna try it from up HERE.
THUNDERrolls. He swipes rain from his eyes. Braces the
• 3 8 on the overpass. Draws down on the incoming car .••
Takes.dead aim ••• So focused, he almost doesn't hear it.
At first, a purr ••. theri a burgeoning roar ••. Turn
around •• ! He whirls --
8 speeding car. ANOTHERONE, he's stunned
HARLANDEXTER. Right on TOP of him. It' s finished, he
hasn't a fucking chance.
Harry doesn't think. Simply flings himself UP AND
SIDEWAYS,as the car SLAMSTHE WALLwhere his legs were •
Mr. Agility, our boy -- Only one problem: he can't STOP
himself. Momentum, too great, simply keeps on rolling
. RIGHT OFF THE EDGE into space, into open AIR, tumbling
WIND, rushing •• ~ CARS, blurring past... ·
Slams headfirst into the big green FREEWAYSIGN •
. Collides with it, arms flailing. Clutching desperately
DAMMIT. No traction, too WET--! Last chance
CATCHESHOLD. Got it. Unbelievably, lurches to a stop.
He dangles, kicking •••
Hanging onto RONNIE DEXTER'S DEADHAND.
And maybe, for a lunatic second, we think she reached
from beyond the grave, that she's the one clutching him
A lover's grip, as she SUSPENDShim above the freeway.
HARRYblinks away rain. Gasping. His .38 REVOLVER
stayed up above. On the EDGE, barrel protruding •••
He casts about,; despairing. Something, anything • •.
The overpass starts to VIBRATE. Remember page 5, the
thing that began this mess .. ? It's okay, I don't either.
In any event, at ~hat ~oment, a CI~Y BUS RUMBLESPAST•.•
ON THE REVOLVER:it jitters ••• vibrates •.• FALLS.
HARRYmoves fast. The GUNwhistles by -- out of the dark
comes a magic-quick HAND. Rain-slick, minus a finger --
Plucks the weapon from thin air. Impossible.
Reels it in. SPINS it. Acquires the TRIGGER. A
:magician's calm, a ROBOT'S precision. Teeth gritted,
raises . his arm
. --
The ne~t 15 seconds, very strange indeed.
UP ABOVEHIM
DEXTERappears, drawing a weapon. HARRYjerks his head
upward. RAIN, sheeting down •••
Sees the man. FIRES UPWARD
•• ! Kills him.
Dexter topples over the side. Plummets, STRIKES the
coffin, BOUNCES--! The coffin shifts, precarious •..
118 •
ABRUPTLYDROPS. Plunges 5 feet. Stops, ka-chuk--!
. Harry's dangling LEGS, now easy prey, A PANEL TRUCK
clips his FOOT, jars him. Still he hangs on -:--
Clutching the dead girl's hand, grimacing in pain ••• HE
DRAWSDOWNOn the speeding sedan. HARMONY,stirring •.•
HARRY
HARMONY!l
He TRIGGERSA SHOT. BANG. Echoing in the night. BANG.
Another. Nothing. car window down, GUNemerging
And so, drenched in rain, battered and broken, Harry
quits playing and simply slays the motherfucker. Bang.
Driver, killed. Car VEERS. Smacks an abutment,
RICOCHETSand meanwhile
HARRYCAN'T HOLDON, he loses his grip, plummets •••
BUCKLESTHE ROOF
Of the sliding SEDAN. Strikes it dead center •
Rolls his head. An inch from his nose: the back window.
Frosted with blood inside. Like a malted glass.
Feels the car come to a HALT; watches, oddly detached, as
THE PASSENGER
Gets out, a foot away. Sees HARRY. Goes for his pistol
and Harry just flaps the .38 at him
HARRY
No.
The gun KICKS in his hand. There, he killed that guy.
Lost count. A BULLET SPIKES UPWARD through the roof.
Oops •• ! Forgot one. Harry, annoyed ••• Jams his muzzle
to the rootop, fires downward. Bang, for Chrissakes.
Pest, gone.
What we' re watching isn't gory; it's flat-out ME·THODICAL.
Harry, alone now ••• sprawled out atop the car. Drenched.
Staring at all the pretty colored LIGHTS••.
119 •
HARRY
There. All done. Finished.
Ratings
Scene 57 - Under the Overpass
WATCHING:
Draws a sharp breath as LIGHTNINGflashes and JONNY
GOSSAMER appears -- the book cover, the exact same image.
She blinks -- and then, of course, it's HARRY, it always
was. He flops beside her. Manages a lop-sided smile:·
HARRY
You okay?
She nods. Spots a mid-chest RUPTUREin Harry's jacket.
HARMONY
Jesus, Harry, you're hit!
.HARRY
(coughs, grins)
You wanna ••• see something cool •• ?
Painfully, he reaches into his pocket •.. The EXACT SPOT
the bullet hit -- withdraws a paperback: JONNY GOSSAMER•
HARMONY
(claps her . hands}
Way cool! It stopped a bullet!
HARRY
Um••• well, not really •••
Truth is, bullet went straight through, left a hole like
a doughnut. ·He pokes his FINGER through it -- Grins •.•
BLOODwells up from his wound. The world gets fuzzy •.•
Darkness claims him. BLACKSCREEN.
Ratings
Scene 58 - Twilight Revelations
CLOSE ON HARRY: His eyes OPEN Rack focus to NEON
outside the window, flickering. He blinks, sees Harmony:
HARMONY
Hi. Welcome back~
(holds up one hand)
How many fingers?
HARRY
Huh .• ? Put that cat down, I'm allergic •
120 •
HARMONY
You feeling okay? How are your--?
Indicates his groin area. Harry groans:
HARRY
I can't believe he told you about that.
There's a TAP-TAP at the door, they look up -- GAY PERRY.
Wheelchair bound. He rolls himself over the threshold.
HARRY
Hey-hey! Where's my present, slick?
GAY PERRY
You're not in fucking jail, that's your
Goddamn present. Hello, Harmony.
Suddenly the NARRATIONCUTS IN, it's Harry, saying:
HARRY (V .o. ).
Yeah, boo-hiss, I know -- Look, I hate it
too. In movies where the studio gets all
paranoid about a downer ending, so the
guy shows up, he's, like, magically
ALIVE, on crutches, I hate that. I mean,
shit, why not bring 'em ALL back •• ?
As he's speaking, the dead PINK-HAIRED GIRL enters .••
Followed by FIRE and FRYING PAN, then a LABRADORwith an
Old Yeller sign around its neck, then ABRAHAM LINCOLN
HARRY (V.O.)
But the point is, see, this time it
really happened, Perry like, lived. And
yeah, ·it·' s a dumb movie thing -- but what
do you want me to do, lie about it?i
A NURSE hurriedly shoos everyone out except Perry. Our
trio; alone. HARMONY turns to Perry. Eager, · expectant:
HARMONY
You found something out?
GAYPERRY
Yeah. 'I got the scoop. All of it.
You're, uh, not gonna li~e it.
Now he's got their full attention. Clears his throat:
GAY PERRY
Dexter didn't murder your sister.
Harmony stares, mouth working ••• shakes her head:
.HARMONY
No ••• that's crazy, you know it. He was
using her to impersonate his daughter
GAY PERRY
Never happened. Talked to my police guy.
The ringer's name was Mia Frye, age 23.
Lived in Glendale. When she wasn't
playing Ronnie Dexter, she wore make-up
and a pink wig.
HARMONY
.(uncomprehending}
But ••• my sister, she ••• she sent you up
to Big Bear, to his cabin •.•
GAYPERRY
Your sister had become convinced Dexter
was her natural father. . She hung around,
watched him, even met the Frye girl, the ..
impersonator.
(beat)
You see where I'm going with this?
FLASH TO: A MOONLITVERANDA
The image of Harmony's sister JENNA, her back to us,
creeping forward to peer.through a WINDOW..•
At figures, ENTWINED. Naked. One of them, we see, is
PINK-HAIRED girl. For now, the WIG resides on a table.
GAY PERRY (V .O.)
One night, your sister came calling
and ••• saw them.
t
Together.
•
Saw Dexter
. . . l
in bed .with his own daughter, remember,
that's how it would appear. 1
JENNA stumbles backward.from the window, turns, BOLTS•••
HERE ANDNOW: Perry takes Harmony's hand:
GAY PERRY
Both fathers. First the old one, now the
shiny new one -- it was too much. Seeing
it ••. triggered repressed memories, tore
the lid off Pandora's box •••
(beat)
She took her own life.
123 •
SNOW, SWIRLING, AN INFINITY OF IT
Fields stretch far and away. Flat, unbroken. We see a
small clutch of MOURNERSaround a grave. SUPER·:
FAREWELL, MY LOVELY - EPILOGUE
Ratings
Scene 59 - Confrontation in the Hospital
A bed contains a withered OLD MAN. HARRYsteps in.
Looks down at him, says quietly:
HARRY
She never had a chance, did she, Pops •• ?
Pause ••• the old man's eyes narrow.
HARRY
Funny. I thought I might feel sorry for
you when I saw all these tubes and shit.
HARMONY'SDAD
(glowering)
Do I know you .. ?
HARRY
Nah, I doubt it. I 'm no one •
s .DAD .
HARMONY I
What do you want?
HARRY
Nothing much. It's just, the zoo was
closed and I wanted to see an animal.
HARMONY'S DAD
Son of· a •. ! Who do you think you 're
talking to? I buried my daughter today.
HARRY
Actually, you lay here with your thumb up
your ass, sweetheart. Struggling to stay
alive, pass one more meal through your
guts.
He leans in close. Face etched in anger:
HARRY
You took away their future.
(beat)
And for that I oughtta kill you .
HARMONY'SDAD
Who are you?? I ••. I loved my girls --
Harry slaps him. HARD. The old man gasps. Sputters:
HARMONY'SDAD
Fucker •.• If I could get outta this bed--
HARRY
You can't.
BACKHANDS him. Head, snapped sideways--! Pillow
spritzed with blood. Harry turns on his heel~ Walks.
HARMONY'SDAD
••. Bastard •• ! Old man, can't defend
himself~ •. Big tough guy.~.
At the door, Harry turns, SMILES. Nods.
HARRY
Yeah. Big tough guy.
Exits.
Ratings
Scene 60 - Twilight Reflections
crossing the lobby, he glimpses a TV in one corner.
HIS POV: A BIG BROWNBEAR tosses a beer and says:
BEAR
Me, I prefer Genaro's •.• but hey, what do
I know, I suck the heads off fish!
A GIRL catches it. NOT HARMONY •. · Someone years younger.
Harry smiles ruefuliy. Exits into the chill twilight.
Outside, she waits -- HARMONY. Harry stops beside her.
HARRY
Helluva sunset.
HARMONY
L.A. 's are nicer. It's the pollution.
Smog causes atmospheric diffusion of
light.
( pause • • • then: )
Was he awake?
HARRY
Yeah. He was awake.
HARMONY
Did he say anything interesting?
HARRY
No. Nothing.
HARMONY
(nods, chews her lip)
I only wish she could give me a ••• a
SIGN, just ••• some way to let me know.
(off Harry's look)
••• that she forgives me.
At that moment there is a sputter, a FLICKER•• !
All the streetlights come on.
Harmony blinks. Stares. Harry laughs.
He draws a deep breath of crisp winter air. Feels
alive • . • And young • As the day he was ·born.
END OF MOVIE
END TITLES DIALOGUE -- OPTIONAL
Over the end crawl, as they stroll into the twilight, past the
HIGH SCHOOL, where a _PEPRALLY"s in progress, we HEAR:
HARRY (V .O.)
You know, New York has pollution. Tons.
HARMONY (V.O.)
It also has New Yorkers. Besides, my
agent's in L.A.
HARRY (V .0.)
You have an agent?
HARMONY (V .O.)
I will.
(beat}
I'm gonna be a famous actress. · And YOU.
You're gonna be a famous detective .
HARRY (V .O.)
Why can't I be an actor?
HARMONY (V.O.) .
Oh, ·ick-- ! You• re deformed, remember?
Nine fingers. You"re gonna have it tough
enough attracting women. Just ask that
chick over there.
HARRY (V. 0. )
Who? Pin-headed Martha Stewart?
HARMONY (V. 0 . )
Uh-uh. On your nine. Bottle-nosed Julia
Roberts.
HARRY (V. 0.)
Man, that's reaching ...
Harry puts an arm round her as, for the duration of titles
WE FADE TO BLACK
Ratings
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
| Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
|---|---|---|---|
| harry lockhart | Harry Lockhart begins as a witty and resourceful criminal, using humor to deflect from his insecurities and the absurdity of his situations. As the story progresses, he faces increasingly challenging circumstances that force him to confront his past and the consequences of his actions. His initial cynicism gives way to emotional vulnerability, leading him to grapple with guilt and moral ambiguity. By the climax, Harry is a conflicted individual willing to take risks to overcome his challenges, ultimately leading to a moment of self-realization. In the resolution, he emerges transformed, having learned to balance his humor with a deeper understanding of himself and his relationships, paving the way for personal growth and redemption. | While Harry Lockhart's character arc is compelling, it risks becoming predictable due to the reliance on common tropes of the 'witty anti-hero.' His journey from cynicism to self-realization is engaging, but the emotional depth could be further explored. The balance between humor and vulnerability is well-established, yet there are moments where the humor overshadows the gravity of his emotional struggles, potentially undermining the impact of his character development. | To improve Harry's character arc, consider incorporating more moments of genuine introspection that allow the audience to see his internal struggles without the veil of humor. This could involve deeper interactions with supporting characters that challenge his worldview and force him to confront his guilt and vulnerabilities. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a significant relationship that influences his growth could add layers to his transformation. Finally, ensure that the stakes are high enough to warrant his evolution, making his journey feel earned and impactful. |
| harry | Harry's character arc follows his transformation from a cynical outsider with a sharp tongue to a more introspective and emotionally aware individual. Initially, he uses humor and sarcasm to deflect from his inner turmoil and past regrets. As he becomes entangled in a web of deception and danger, he is forced to confront his vulnerabilities and the consequences of his actions. Throughout the screenplay, Harry experiences significant emotional growth, moving from denial and impulsiveness to a deeper understanding of himself and his relationships. By the end, he emerges as a more resilient and empathetic character, willing to confront his past and seek redemption, ultimately finding a sense of connection with others. | While Harry's character arc is rich and layered, it may benefit from clearer milestones that mark his emotional growth. The transitions between his various emotional states can sometimes feel abrupt, making it challenging for the audience to fully grasp his development. Additionally, while his humor is a defining trait, there are moments where it overshadows the gravity of his experiences, potentially diluting the impact of his emotional journey. The screenplay could also explore more of Harry's relationships with supporting characters to enhance his growth and provide a stronger contrast to his initial cynicism. | To improve Harry's character arc, consider incorporating specific turning points that highlight his emotional evolution, such as pivotal moments of vulnerability or confrontation with his past. These moments should be carefully spaced throughout the screenplay to allow the audience to witness his gradual transformation. Additionally, balance his humor with more serious reflections to ensure that his emotional struggles resonate deeply with the audience. Strengthening his relationships with key supporting characters can also provide a richer context for his growth, allowing for more meaningful interactions that challenge his worldview and contribute to his redemption arc. |
| gay perry | Throughout the screenplay, Gay Perry evolves from a detached and cynical private investigator to a more engaged and emotionally aware individual. Initially, he approaches situations with a pragmatic and somewhat confrontational demeanor, using humor and sarcasm as shields against vulnerability. As the narrative progresses, Perry faces increasingly dire circumstances that challenge his worldview and force him to confront his own fears and insecurities. His relationship with Harry deepens, leading him to recognize the value of trust and collaboration. By the climax, Perry's character arc culminates in a moment of self-reflection, where he embraces his vulnerabilities and acknowledges the importance of connection, ultimately transforming him into a more rounded and empathetic character. | While Gay Perry's character is well-defined with a strong presence, his arc could benefit from more gradual development. The transition from cynicism to emotional awareness may feel abrupt if not carefully paced. Additionally, while his humor is a significant aspect of his character, it risks overshadowing deeper emotional moments if not balanced effectively. The screenplay should ensure that Perry's vulnerabilities are explored in a way that feels organic and relatable, rather than forced or sudden. | To improve Gay Perry's character arc, consider incorporating more moments of introspection throughout the screenplay. Allow him to reflect on his past experiences and how they shape his current behavior. Introduce scenarios that challenge his beliefs and force him to confront his emotional barriers gradually. Additionally, enhance his relationship with Harry by including shared experiences that deepen their bond, making Perry's eventual transformation feel earned. Finally, ensure that moments of humor do not detract from the emotional stakes; instead, use them to highlight his growth, showing how he learns to balance humor with sincerity. |
| harmony |
|
Harmony's character arc is compelling, showcasing her emotional depth and resilience. However, there are moments where her motivations could be more clearly defined, particularly in the early stages of the screenplay. While her wit and humor add layers to her character, they sometimes overshadow her emotional struggles, making it difficult for the audience to fully connect with her vulnerabilities. | To improve Harmony's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that explicitly highlight her internal conflicts and motivations. This could involve flashbacks or conversations that delve deeper into her past traumas and how they influence her present actions. Additionally, balancing her humor with moments of raw emotional honesty can create a stronger connection with the audience, allowing them to empathize with her journey of healing and self-discovery. |
| perry | Throughout the screenplay, Perry begins as a hardened detective who relies heavily on his wit and experience to navigate the complexities of his cases. Initially, he is emotionally guarded, using humor as a shield against vulnerability. As the story progresses, he encounters challenges that force him to confront his own fears and insecurities. A pivotal moment occurs when he must rely on a younger partner, which challenges his perception of independence and control. By the end of the feature, Perry learns to embrace collaboration and trust others, allowing him to grow both personally and professionally. This transformation leads him to a more balanced view of life, where he can still maintain his sharp wit while being open to emotional connections. | Perry's character arc is compelling, showcasing a journey from isolation to connection. However, it may benefit from deeper emotional stakes. While his wit and resourcefulness are well-defined, the screenplay could explore more of his backstory to provide context for his cynicism and emotional barriers. Additionally, the resolution of his arc could feel rushed if not given enough screen time to develop the relationships that facilitate his growth. | To improve Perry's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or dialogue that reveals his past experiences, which shaped his current demeanor. This could create a stronger emotional foundation for his character. Additionally, introduce a subplot that highlights his relationship with a younger partner or a personal connection that challenges his worldview. Allowing more time for these relationships to develop will enhance the emotional impact of his transformation, making his journey feel more authentic and relatable. |
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
| Pattern | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Emotional Impact Drives Character Evolution | There is a strong positive correlation between Emotional Impact and Character Changes across scenes, with higher emotional scores often paired with significant character development (e.g., scenes 6 and 40 show both at 9 or 10). This suggests that the author's emotional depth effectively catalyzes character growth, but in lighter scenes like 16, both scores drop, indicating potential missed opportunities for deeper development in less intense moments. |
| Sarcastic Tone Boosts Dialogue Strength | Scenes with sarcastic or witty tones (e.g., scenes 4, 15, 17, 54) consistently have high Dialogue scores (9 or 10), revealing the author's proficiency in crafting engaging, sharp dialogue during these moments. However, this reliance on sarcasm might overshadow other tonal elements, as non-sarcastic scenes still maintain high dialogue but could benefit from more varied stylistic approaches to avoid predictability. |
| Humor Correlates with Reduced Conflict Intensity | Humorous tones are associated with lower Conflict and High Stakes scores (e.g., scene 16 with Conflict 6 and High Stakes 5, scene 22 with Emotional Impact 6), suggesting that humor is used to de-escalate tension or in transitional scenes. The author might not realize this pattern, which could be leveraged to strategically place humor for pacing, but it may inadvertently weaken the story's momentum in key areas. |
| Tense Tones Amplify Dramatic Elements | The frequent use of 'Tense' in tones correlates with higher averages in Emotional Impact, Conflict, and Move Story Forward (e.g., scenes 6, 44, 51 all score 9 or 10 in multiple categories). This indicates that tension is a core driver of the script's drama, but the author could explore contrasting tones to add variety and prevent audience fatigue from prolonged intensity. |
| Narrative Build-Up in Later Scenes | Scores for Conflict, High Stakes, and Move Story Forward generally increase from early to later scenes (e.g., scene 1 averages lower at 6-8, while scene 60 is consistently 9), showing a progressive intensification. This subtle arc might be unintentional, highlighting the author's strength in escalating stakes, but it could be refined to ensure earlier scenes have stronger hooks to match the climax's energy. |
| Conflict and High Stakes Are Interlinked | A clear positive correlation exists between Conflict and High Stakes scores, with both rising together in high-drama scenes (e.g., scene 51 both at 10, scene 16 both low at 6 and 5). This reflects effective storytelling where stakes heighten conflict, but the author may overlook opportunities to introduce conflict in low-stakes scenes to add depth and unpredictability. |
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
The screenplay demonstrates a strong command of dialogue, character dynamics, and the ability to blend humor with tension. The writer effectively creates engaging narratives that captivate the audience. However, there are areas for improvement, particularly in character depth, pacing, and the exploration of emotional themes. The writer shows potential for crafting complex narratives but could benefit from refining their techniques in certain aspects of screenwriting.
Key Improvement Areas
Suggestions
| Type | Suggestion | Rationale |
|---|---|---|
| Book | Read 'Save the Cat!' by Blake Snyder | This book provides valuable insights into structuring engaging screenplays, developing character arcs, and enhancing narrative pacing, which can benefit the writer's overall craft. |
| Screenplay | Study 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' by Charlie Kaufman | This screenplay exemplifies the blending of humor and emotional depth, offering inspiration for enhancing character interactions and exploring complex themes. |
| Video | Watch analysis videos on dialogue writing and character dynamics | These resources can provide practical insights into crafting authentic dialogue and developing nuanced character interactions, which are crucial for engaging storytelling. |
| Exercise | Practice writing character monologues that explore internal conflicts and motivations.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise will help deepen character development and enhance emotional depth in the screenplay. |
| Exercise | Write scenes with varying pacing, focusing on building tension and maintaining audience engagement.Practice In SceneProv | This will refine the writer's ability to control pacing and enhance the overall impact of their narratives. |
| Exercise | Engage in dialogue-only writing exercises to focus on subtext and character dynamics.Practice In SceneProv | This practice will sharpen dialogue skills and improve the authenticity of character interactions, making them more compelling. |
Stories Similar to this one
| Story | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) | This film shares a similar tone and structure, blending dark comedy with a murder mystery. Both feature a cynical protagonist who navigates chaotic situations while providing humorous voice-over narration, creating a self-aware narrative style. |
| The Nice Guys (2016) | Directed by Shane Black, this film features a buddy cop dynamic with a mix of humor and crime. It shares a similar tone of dark comedy and explores themes of friendship amidst chaos, with characters who often find themselves in absurd situations. |
| Chinatown (1974) | This classic neo-noir film involves a complex murder mystery with a cynical detective. Both stories delve into themes of corruption and personal trauma, with a protagonist who becomes entangled in a web of deceit and violence. |
| L.A. Confidential (1997) | This film explores the dark underbelly of Los Angeles through a murder investigation, featuring morally ambiguous characters. It shares a similar setting and tone, with a focus on the interplay of personal and professional conflicts. |
| The Big Lebowski (1998) | This film features a laid-back protagonist who becomes embroiled in a convoluted plot involving crime and mistaken identity. Both stories utilize humor and absurdity to explore deeper themes of identity and existentialism. |
| Inherent Vice (2014) | This film is a neo-noir comedy that follows a stoner detective navigating a chaotic Los Angeles. It shares a similar narrative style, blending humor with a complex plot and themes of love, loss, and the absurdity of life. |
| The Maltese Falcon (1941) | This classic film noir features a hard-boiled detective unraveling a complex mystery. Both stories involve themes of betrayal, deception, and the darker aspects of human nature, with a focus on the protagonist's moral dilemmas. |
| Veronica Mars (2004-2007) | This TV series follows a young detective solving mysteries in a high school setting. It shares a similar tone of witty dialogue and a protagonist who balances personal issues with investigative work, often involving dark themes. |
| Gone Girl (2014) | This psychological thriller involves a complex narrative centered around a missing woman and the ensuing media frenzy. Both stories explore themes of deception, identity, and the impact of societal expectations on personal relationships. |
| The Departed (2006) | This crime thriller features a complex plot involving undercover agents and organized crime. It shares themes of betrayal, moral ambiguity, and the psychological toll of living a double life, similar to the protagonist's struggles in 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.' |
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
| Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| Cynical Narrator | Harry Lockhart serves as a cynical narrator, providing sarcastic commentary on the events and characters around him. | This trope involves a character who narrates the story with a cynical or sardonic tone, often breaking the fourth wall to comment on the absurdity of the situation. An example is the character of Deadpool in the 'Deadpool' movies, who frequently addresses the audience with humor and sarcasm. |
| Meta-Humor | The film frequently breaks the fourth wall, with Harry commenting on the clichés and tropes of detective stories. | Meta-humor refers to self-referential jokes that acknowledge the medium itself. An example is 'The Office,' where characters often comment on the nature of reality television. |
| The Loveable Loser | Harry Lockhart is portrayed as a down-on-his-luck character who often finds himself in absurd situations. | This trope features a protagonist who is endearing despite their failures and shortcomings. An example is George Costanza from 'Seinfeld,' who often finds himself in ridiculous predicaments. |
| Dark Humor | The film employs dark humor, especially in scenes involving death and violence. | Dark humor involves making light of subjects that are generally considered serious or taboo. An example is 'Fargo,' which mixes crime with absurd humor. |
| The Odd Couple | Harry and Gay Perry have contrasting personalities that lead to comedic interactions. | This trope features two characters with opposing traits who must work together, often leading to humorous situations. An example is the pairing of Felix and Oscar in 'The Odd Couple.' |
| The Femme Fatale | Harmony is portrayed as a complex woman who draws Harry in but also complicates his life. | The femme fatale is a seductive woman who leads the protagonist into danger. An example is Catherine Tramell in 'Basic Instinct.' |
| The Misunderstood Villain | Harlan Dexter is portrayed as a villain with complex motivations. | This trope involves a villain whose actions are driven by understandable motives, making them more relatable. An example is Magneto from 'X-Men,' who acts out of a desire to protect his kind. |
| Chase Scene | The film features several chase scenes that heighten tension and excitement. | Chase scenes are a common trope in action and thriller genres, creating suspense and urgency. An example is the car chase in 'The Bourne Identity.' |
| The Unlikely Hero | Harry Lockhart, an amateur detective, finds himself in dangerous situations but rises to the occasion. | This trope features an ordinary person who becomes a hero despite their lack of experience. An example is Frodo Baggins in 'The Lord of the Rings.' |
| The Twist Ending | The film concludes with unexpected revelations about the characters and their motivations. | Twist endings surprise the audience by revealing information that changes the context of the story. An example is 'The Sixth Sense,' where the protagonist's true nature is revealed. |
| Theme | Theme Details | Themee Explanation | ||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| The Blurred Lines Between Reality and Fiction | This is evident from Harry's meta-commentary, the characters' acting aspirations (Harmony, Harry's brief audition), the presence of pulp fiction influence (Jonny Gossamer), and how characters misinterpret events through fictional lenses (e.g., mistaking acts of fiction for reality or vice-versa). The film itself constantly breaks the fourth wall and comments on filmmaking conventions. | The script constantly plays with what is real and what is constructed. Characters are often actors or aspiring actors, the narrative itself is presented as a detective tale with meta-commentary, and the characters frequently refer to or are influenced by fictional stories and tropes. This theme questions the audience's perception of reality and the narrative itself. | ||||||||||||
Strengthening The Blurred Lines Between Reality and Fiction:
| ||||||||||||||
| Identity and Self-Discovery | Harry's journey from a petty thief to someone who believes he's a detective, Harmony's search for her identity beyond her traumatic past, and the characters' use of alter egos or fictional personas (Harold the Great, Jonny Gossamer archetypes) all speak to this theme. | Many characters are grappling with who they are, their pasts, and their potential futures. They often adopt personas or struggle to reconcile their real selves with their aspirations or the roles they find themselves playing, especially within the context of Hollywood. | ||||||||||||
| Trauma and Its Lasting Impact | Harmony's childhood trauma from her father and magician act, Jenna's struggles leading to suicide, and Harry's own insecurities and past misdeeds contribute to the characters' motivations and emotional arcs. The violence and death throughout the film also underscore the harsh realities characters face. | The narrative is deeply influenced by the characters' past traumas and how these experiences continue to shape their present actions and perceptions. These traumas often lead to destructive behaviors or a skewed understanding of reality. | ||||||||||||
| Chaos and Cynicism in Los Angeles | The setting of Hollywood and its surrounding areas is depicted as a place of superficiality, danger, and moral ambiguity. The constant stream of police cars, violent encounters, and the cynical attitudes of many characters contribute to this atmosphere. | Los Angeles, particularly Hollywood, is portrayed as a morally corrupt and chaotic environment where dreams are pursued and often shattered. The superficiality and inherent dangers of the city contribute to a cynical worldview. | ||||||||||||
| Destiny vs. Choice | Characters often find themselves in situations seemingly dictated by fate (e.g., Harry and Harmony's reunion), but their choices within those situations lead to unpredictable outcomes. Harry's narration often reflects on these moments. | The script explores whether events are predetermined or if characters have agency over their lives. There's a constant interplay between characters feeling guided by fate and making active choices that steer their destinies. | ||||||||||||
| The Nature of Truth and Deception | The narrative is driven by secrets, lies, and a quest to uncover the truth. Harry's narration is often deceptive or incomplete, and many characters operate with hidden agendas. | The plot relies heavily on uncovering hidden truths and unraveling deception. Characters consistently lie, misdirect, and manipulate, making the search for what is genuinely real a central conflict. | ||||||||||||
| The Superficiality of Hollywood and Fame | The script satirizes the superficiality of the entertainment industry, the desperate pursuit of fame, and the disposable nature of individuals within it. This is seen in the party scenes and interactions with agents and producers. | The film critiques the shallowness of the Hollywood system, where appearances, connections, and fabricated personas often matter more than genuine talent or substance. The characters' aspirations are often met with cynicism and disillusionment. | ||||||||||||
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
| Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
| John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
| What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
| Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
| Voice Analysis | |
|---|---|
| Summary: | The writer's original voice is a dynamic and captivating blend of sharp wit, dark humor, and gritty realism. It's characterized by fast-paced, often cynical dialogue that crackles with energy, juxtaposed with introspective voiceovers that reveal a deep understanding of human nature and its complexities. Vivid, often visceral descriptions and dynamic scene directions immerse the reader in the narrative, creating a mood that oscillates between thrilling suspense, poignant melancholy, and laugh-out-loud absurdity. There's a consistent undercurrent of self-awareness, meta-commentary on storytelling, and a keen eye for the absurdities of life, particularly within the glamorous yet often superficial world of Hollywood. |
| Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes significantly to the script's overall mood by establishing a unique tone that is both entertaining and thought-provoking. The dark humor and cynicism generate an engaging, noir-esque atmosphere, while the introspective elements add emotional depth and complexity to the characters and their motivations. The vivid imagery and dynamic pacing keep the audience invested, blurring the lines between reality and fiction and enhancing the thematic exploration of identity, deception, and the search for meaning. The self-aware narrative voice adds a layer of meta-commentary, making the storytelling itself an integral part of the experience. |
| Best Representation Scene | 3 - A Night in the Hollywood Hills |
| Best Scene Explanation | Scene 3 best showcases the author's unique voice due to its seamless blend of action, reflection, and humor. The opening visual of soaring over the Hollywood Hills sets a grand stage, immediately followed by Harry's introspective narration that bridges the gap between the external spectacle and the internal narrative. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, and the blend of detective story elements with personal reflections establishes the core thematic and stylistic underpinnings of the script. The dynamic sense of motion and anticipation, coupled with Harry's self-aware introduction of the narrative, perfectly encapsulates the writer's signature style. |
- Overall originality score: 8.5
- Overall originality explanation: The script showcases a high level of originality through its unique blend of genres, including dark comedy, crime, and mystery, while incorporating unconventional character interactions and unexpected plot twists. The vivid imagery, introspective narration, and the use of surreal elements contribute to a distinctive narrative style that sets it apart from typical Hollywood fare. The script's exploration of complex themes such as identity, trauma, and the absurdity of life further enhances its originality.
- Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the script are the surreal encounters with characters like the Fat Woman and the absurdity of Harry's interactions with the dead girl's body, as well as the unexpected twists involving mistaken identities and the intertwining of personal histories with crime. Additionally, the use of humor in dark situations, such as the 'Walk of Shame' trope and the playful banter amidst serious themes, adds to the script's originality.
- Overall unpredictability score: 9
- Overall unpredictability explanation: The script maintains a high level of unpredictability through its intricate plot twists and character developments that defy conventional storytelling. The frequent shifts in tone, unexpected character fates, and the blending of comedic and tragic elements keep the audience guessing about the outcomes. The intertwining of various character arcs and the revelation of hidden connections, such as the true identity of Ronnie Dexter and the implications of past traumas, contribute to a narrative that continually surprises and engages the viewer.
| Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
|---|---|
| internal Goals | Throughout the script, the protagonist Harry Lockhart evolves from an aimless character seeking recognition in Hollywood to a complex figure wrestling with themes of guilt, responsibility, and the impacts of his choices on his relationships. Initially, Harry's internal goals revolve around superficial success and understanding his identity contrast to the tragic circumstances around him, ultimately leading to a deeper quest for redemption and connection with those he cares about. |
| External Goals | Harry's external goals shift from simply solving a series of bizarre mysteries to actively protecting those he cares about while confronting external threats from antagonists connected to his investigative work. His primary external goal transitions from curiosity in the scheme to a protective stance regarding Harmony and the unfolding events, navigating increasingly dangerous circumstances. |
| Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict in the script lies between self-agency and fate, illustrated by the characters grappling with choices dictated by their past and present environments versus the role of destiny in determining their futures. |
Character Development Contribution: The conflicts and goals contribute to Harry's development from a superficial, self-serving character to someone burdened with moral complexity, understanding the weight of his actions and seeking authentic connections, particularly with Harmony.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The intertwining of the protagonist's goals and conflicts drives the narrative forward, linking personal stakes with broader thematic elements and escalating tensions that contribute to the film's pacing, particularly through shifts from comedic to dramatic moments.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The evolution of Harry's internal and external goals deepens the thematic exploration of identity, connection, morality, and the consequences of choices, enhancing the film's critique of Hollywood's superficiality and the human desire for redemption and understanding.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
| Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
| Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
| Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
- Physical environment: The world of the script is predominantly urban and cinematic, centered in Los Angeles with its glamorous Hollywood Hills, opulent houses, and bustling parties contrasting sharply with gritty, dangerous locales like dark alleys, rainy streets, and wooded parks. Flashbacks extend to more mundane or rural settings, such as Indiana's carnivals and New York toy stores, creating a tapestry of environments that range from chaotic and tense (e.g., clogged entrances, nighttime chases) to intimate and reflective (e.g., bedrooms, hospital rooms). Weather elements like rain, sleet, and mist are frequently used to heighten atmosphere, evoking a sense of unease, mystery, and transience, while specific details like neon lights, fog, and holiday decorations add layers of visual symbolism and emotional depth.
- Culture: The culture is deeply rooted in Hollywood's glitz and glamour, satirizing the entertainment industry's superficiality, fame-seeking, and moral compromises. References to films, books (e.g., Jonny Gossamer thrillers), and pop culture icons highlight a society obsessed with escapism, storytelling, and self-reinvention. Themes of nostalgia, loss, and personal struggle are prevalent, with elements like racism, family dysfunction, and the pursuit of dreams reflecting a cynical worldview. Humor and irony permeate interactions, blending dark comedy with poignant reflections on human relationships, emphasizing a culture where fantasy and reality often collide.
- Society: Society is depicted as stratified and corrupt, with clear class distinctions between the wealthy elite (e.g., party-goers in opulent homes) and the underprivileged (e.g., criminals, foster care survivors). Power dynamics are fluid and often exploitative, involving law enforcement, criminal underworlds, and personal betrayals. Family structures are frequently broken, marked by abuse, abandonment, and unresolved trauma, while social interactions reveal themes of deception, loyalty, and moral ambiguity. This hierarchical and chaotic society underscores a world where individuals must navigate constant danger and improvisation, with institutions like the police and rehabilitation centers failing to provide true security.
- Technology: Technology blends modern and outdated elements, including cell phones, surveillance equipment, guns, cars, and media devices like TVs and VCRs, which facilitate communication, crime, and investigation. It adds a layer of sophistication to the narrative, with tools like mini-cams and pagers enabling plot twists, while older elements like revolvers evoke classic noir aesthetics. This integration highlights a society in flux, where technology amplifies human flaws and enables both connection and disconnection, often used in service of deception or surveillance.
- Characters influence: The physical environment, culture, society, and technology profoundly shape the characters' experiences and actions by creating a high-stakes, unpredictable world that amplifies personal flaws and drives impulsive decisions. For instance, Harry's criminal past and acting aspirations are fueled by the gritty urban settings and Hollywood's allure, leading to reckless behavior like theft and detective work. Harmony's pursuit of fame and familial redemption is influenced by societal pressures and cultural obsessions with escape, pushing her into dangerous situations. Technology and societal structures force characters to adapt through deception and alliances, heightening emotional turmoil and moral dilemmas, as seen in their navigation of crime scenes and personal relationships.
- Narrative contribution: These world elements drive the narrative by providing a dynamic backdrop for mystery, action, and character development. The contrasting physical environments facilitate key plot twists, such as chases and revelations in diverse settings, while cultural references to Hollywood and pulp fiction integrate backstory and motivations, creating interconnected storylines. Societal structures introduce conflicts through corruption and power struggles, propelling the detective plot forward, and technology enables crucial moments of surveillance and communication that link subplots. Together, they build suspense, humor, and pacing, making the narrative's twists feel organic and inevitable within a neo-noir framework.
- Thematic depth contribution: The world building enriches the script's thematic depth by underscoring themes of cynicism, redemption, and the illusion of control in a chaotic world. The physical environment's contrasts highlight the fragility of dreams against harsh realities, while cultural elements explore the destructive impact of escapism and media influence on identity. Societal depictions of corruption and dysfunction amplify themes of moral ambiguity and human connection, and technology's role in facilitating deception reinforces the theme of modernity's inability to resolve timeless flaws. Overall, these elements deepen the exploration of fate, loss, and the blurred lines between truth and fiction, enhancing the film's satirical and poignant commentary on life in a flawed society.
central conflict
The central conflict revolves around Harry Lockhart's struggle to navigate a chaotic world of crime, deception, and personal relationships while uncovering the truth behind a series of murders and the mystery of Harmony's sister.
primary motivations
- Harry's desire to prove himself as a detective and find his place in Los Angeles.
- Harmony's quest to uncover the truth about her sister's death and her own identity.
- Gay Perry's motivation to assist Harry while managing his own professional and personal challenges.
catalysts
- The discovery of Harmony's sister's death and the subsequent investigation.
- Harry's accidental involvement in a murder case that intertwines with his past.
- The introduction of various characters that complicate the narrative, such as Harlan Dexter and the mysterious body in the bathtub.
barriers
- Harry's lack of experience and knowledge in detective work.
- The presence of dangerous criminals and corrupt individuals who threaten Harry and Harmony.
- Personal conflicts and misunderstandings between characters that hinder their progress.
themes
- The complexity of identity and the search for self.
- The interplay of fate and free will in shaping one's life.
- The dark side of Hollywood and the consequences of ambition.
stakes
The stakes include the potential loss of life, the unraveling of personal relationships, and the quest for truth that could lead to justice or further tragedy.
uniqueness factor
The film's blend of dark comedy, noir elements, and self-referential humor sets it apart, creating a unique narrative style that engages the audience.
audience hook
The combination of a murder mystery intertwined with personal drama and humor keeps viewers engaged, along with the charismatic performances of the lead characters.
paradoxical engine or bisociation
The story operates on a paradoxical engine where the comedic elements juxtapose the dark themes of death and betrayal, creating a tension that drives the narrative forward.
paradoxical engine or bisociation 2
Another aspect of bisociation is the blending of genres—detective noir with comedy—allowing for unexpected twists and character developments that challenge audience expectations.
Pass / Consider / Recommend Analysis
Gemini
Executive Summary
- Shane Black's signature witty, rapid-fire, and self-aware dialogue is a standout strength, consistently entertaining and advancing the plot and characterization. high
- The script features a tightly woven and intricate plot with numerous seemingly disparate elements that beautifully converge by the end. The payoff for each clue and character interaction is incredibly satisfying, demonstrating a high level of craftsmanship in narrative construction. high ( Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6 Scene 8 Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 20 Scene 21 Scene 22 Scene 23 Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 Scene 43 Scene 44 Scene 45 Scene 46 Scene 47 Scene 48 Scene 49 Scene 50 Scene 51 Scene 52 Scene 53 Scene 54 Scene 55 Scene 56 Scene 57 Scene 58 Scene 59 Scene 60 )
- The meta-narrative, with Harry Lockhart as an unreliable and self-aware narrator, is a brilliant and unique stylistic choice that consistently engages the audience and provides both humor and depth. high ( Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 8 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 20 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 33 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 45 Scene 46 Scene 47 Scene 48 Scene 56 Scene 58 Scene 59 Scene 60 )
- The character development of both Harry and Harmony is exceptionally well-executed. Harry evolves from a hapless wannabe to a surprisingly capable, albeit still flawed, protagonist, while Harmony grapples with trauma and finds her voice, demonstrating significant growth and emotional depth. high ( Scene 6 Scene 8 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 17 Scene 20 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 37 Scene 46 Scene 47 Scene 59 )
- The film's ability to expertly blend extreme violence, absurd humor, and genuine emotional stakes creates a truly unique and compelling narrative. The moments of introspection and vulnerability, particularly for Harry, ground the outlandish plot. high ( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 9 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 20 Scene 21 Scene 22 Scene 23 Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 Scene 43 Scene 44 Scene 45 Scene 46 Scene 47 Scene 48 Scene 49 Scene 50 Scene 51 Scene 52 Scene 53 Scene 54 Scene 55 Scene 56 Scene 57 Scene 58 Scene 59 Scene 60 )
- While the opening sets the tone effectively, the initial pacing in the first few sequences could be tightened slightly to immediately hook the audience more forcefully, though the meta-narration does help in this regard. low ( Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 )
- The explanation of how the police were able to connect Harry and Perry to the crime scene (specifically the corpse in the hotel room) could be slightly clearer. The speed with which they are found and questioned feels a bit contrived. medium ( Scene 27 Scene 34 )
- Perry's ability to deduce Harmony's sister's motives and actions, while clever, relies on a significant leap of logic regarding Jenna's repressed memories being triggered by seeing Dexter with the impersonator. While narratively functional, it's a dense piece of exposition that could benefit from a slightly more grounded reveal. medium ( Scene 49 )
- The sheer volume of plot contrivances and coincidences, while part of the film's charm and genre commentary, occasionally stretches believability, even within its heightened reality. For example, the convenience of finding the 'right' guns or the exact timing of certain character arrivals. low ( Scene 23 Scene 31 )
- The script is remarkably complete, with most major plot threads and character arcs finding resolution. The 'missing' elements are more about potential expansions rather than crucial omissions. low
- While the core narrative is strong, a deeper exploration of Dabney Shaw's motivations beyond being a 'producer' and his connection to the broader criminal element could have added another layer of intrigue, though his function as a catalyst is clear. low
- The meta-commentary throughout, particularly Harry's narration, is a defining feature. It constantly breaks the fourth wall, comments on narrative tropes, and satirizes the filmmaking process itself, making it a highly self-aware and unique viewing experience. high ( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 11 Scene 36 Scene 56 Scene 60 )
- The script's ability to interweave multiple complex plot threads – Harry's past, Harmony's search for her father, the Dexter family drama, and the various criminal elements – into a cohesive and satisfying conclusion is a testament to its intricate plotting. high ( Scene 1 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 33 Scene 40 Scene 58 Scene 59 Scene 60 )
- The character arcs, particularly Harry's journey from a fumbling aspiring actor to a surprisingly capable (if still deeply flawed) detective, and Harmony's transformation from a jaded aspiring actress to a determined force, are genuinely compelling and earned. high ( Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 17 Scene 46 Scene 56 Scene 60 )
- The film's tone, a masterful blend of dark, violent neo-noir elements with laugh-out-loud black comedy and moments of surprising emotional resonance, is consistently maintained and incredibly effective. high ( Scene 6 Scene 8 Scene 20 Scene 27 Scene 37 Scene 56 Scene 59 )
- The thematic exploration of identity, destiny, and the blurred lines between fiction and reality, particularly through Harry's narration and the characters' interactions with the film industry, adds significant depth. medium ( Scene 40 Scene 49 Scene 51 Scene 54 )
- Underdeveloped secondary motivations While Dabney Shaw's role as a catalyst is established, his personal motivations beyond producing and his specific connection to the criminal underworld remain somewhat vague. His presence, while functional, could be more deeply explored to enrich the conspiracy. low
- The implausibility of certain coincidences While the meta-commentary acknowledges and often satirizes these, certain plot conveniences (like characters consistently appearing exactly when needed, or specific items being found at precise moments) feel slightly too orchestrated, even for this genre. low
- Over-reliance on narrator for exposition While Harry's narration is a strength, there are instances, particularly in earlier sequences, where exposition feels slightly more 'told' than 'shown' through the narrator's voice, rather than purely through action or dialogue. low
- Minor logistical inconsistencies The script occasionally glosses over logistical details like how characters acquire certain items or travel between locations with extreme speed. While often forgiven in this genre, a few more concrete explanations could strengthen believability. low
Grok
Executive Summary
- The voiceover narration by Harry is consistently witty and self-aware, providing meta-commentary that enhances engagement and ties the chaotic plot together without feeling forced. high ( Scene 3 Scene 4 )
- The script's pacing builds to an explosive, multi-layered climax with rapid action sequences and emotional payoffs, maintaining high tension while resolving key conflicts. high ( Scene 56 )
- Dialogue is sharp, humorous, and character-defining, blending banter with subtext to reveal motivations and advance the plot organically. high ( Scene 4 Scene 17 )
- Character arcs, particularly Harry's evolution from petty thief to reluctant hero, are well-developed through consistent motivations tied to themes of destiny and redemption. high ( Scene 1 Scene 59 )
- Thematic consistency in exploring reality vs. fiction and the illusions of Hollywood is woven throughout, culminating in poignant resolutions that reinforce the narrative's emotional core. medium ( Scene 9 Scene 46 )
- Some exposition-heavy scenes feel slightly info-dumpy, particularly when layering backstory on Dexter's family dynamics, which could be streamlined for tighter flow. medium ( Scene 15 )
- Flashbacks, while effective, occasionally disrupt momentum and could be more visually integrated to avoid repetition in Harmony's backstory. low ( Scene 9 Scene 10 )
- The suicide reveal and immediate reversal create a brief tonal whiplash that might confuse audiences; subtle foreshadowing could smooth this transition. medium ( Scene 25 )
- Harmony's betrayal revelation feels abrupt in its emotional fallout; deeper immediate reaction from Harry could heighten the arc's impact. low ( Scene 47 )
- Side characters like Gay Perry's arc resolves strongly, but minor threads (e.g., Dabney Shaw's producer role) could tie back more explicitly to the main plot for completeness. low
- Deeper exploration of secondary antagonists' motivations (e.g., the Leather Jackets' full backstory) could add layers, though the script's focus on protagonists keeps it lean. low
- The epilogue resolves major arcs but lacks a final visual callback to the opening suicide note, potentially missing a thematic bookend on cognitive decisions. low ( Scene 58 )
- No explicit tie-in to the initial toy store burglary's consequences for Harry's New York life, leaving a minor dangling thread on his full redemption. low
- The script's use of literary quotes and pulp novel homages sets a distinctive noir tone from the outset, enriching the meta-layer. medium ( Scene 3 )
- The climactic overpass sequence innovatively uses environmental elements (rain, freeway, coffin) for high-stakes action that's both visceral and symbolic. high ( Scene 56 )
- The bullet-stopping book gag cleverly reinforces the fiction-reality theme while providing comic relief in the denouement. medium ( Scene 57 )
- Optional end-titles dialogue adds playful extension, showcasing Black's signature banter style beyond the main narrative. low ( Scene 60 )
- Consistent holiday motifs (Christmas lights, parties) contrast the dark plot, creating ironic tension that's subtly woven throughout. medium
- Over-reliance on voiceover for exposition The writer leans heavily on Harry's narration to explain plot points and character thoughts (e.g., Sequences 3, 11, 25), which, while charming, occasionally undercuts show-don't-tell by spoon-feeding connections rather than revealing them through action. medium
- Underdeveloped female side characters Characters like the Blonde in Sequence 4 or Flicka in Sequence 36 serve comedic or plot purposes but lack depth, reducing them to archetypes without personal stakes, which contrasts the nuanced arcs of Harry and Harmony. low
- None evident This professional script exhibits no amateur markers; formatting is precise, action lines are economical, and dialogue advances plot without redundancy. low
GPT5
Executive Summary
- Distinctive first-person voice and narrator hook. The script opens immediately in voice — world-wise, self-aware, funny and intimate — establishing tone, stakes and the protagonist's POV. This voice drives the entire piece and gives the story emotional and comedic coherence. high ( Scene 3 (EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS - NIGHT (NARRATION INTRO)) Scene 1 (Opening - paper/thumbnail) )
- Powerful central chemistry and character work between Harry and Harmony. Their history, banter, sexual politics and emotional vulnerability build a compelling, human core that sustains the plot's wild turns and makes the stakes feel real. high ( Scene 17 (Reunion: Harry & Harmony at the Domino Room) Scene 45 (Bar/bedroom intimacy and aftermath) )
- High-concept, memorable set pieces. The script stages cinematic, original action beats that are visually arresting, tonally daring and emotionally resonant — they are the screenplay's marquee moments that will attract directors and audiences. high ( Scene 23 (Lake crash and recovery (Perry/Car/Corpse)) Scene 56 (Overpass / Coffin / Freeway set-piece) )
- Sharp, witty dialogue and genre-savvy humor. The script's comedy is earned through character and observation; quips land organically and keep the pace lively while deepening characterization. high ( Scene 4 (Party intro / stucco worldbuilding) Scene 39 (Party backyard / voice interplay) )
- Inventive use of recurring motif (Jonny Gossamer books) and thematic echoes (illusion vs. identity). The motif ties the mystery to character backstory and thematically reinforces the impostor/identity beats in the central murder plot. medium ( Scene 12 (Harmony/Neal robot episode and resulting press/interview) Scene 50 (Clinic infiltration & exposition) )
- Plausibility and reliance on coincidence: multiple key plot turns depend on highly coincidental events (bodies appearing/disappearing, guns planted/retrieved, cars arriving/exiting just so). These coincidences strain plausibility and occasionally undermine the detective-logic the audience wants to follow. high ( Scene 27 (Body appears in Harry's tub / initial panic) Scene 23 (Lake car crash / missing driver) )
- Antagonist motive clarity: Dexter's larger plan, motives and logistics (why the switch, precise payoff for staging kidnappings, who benefits) could be better signposted and tightened so the emotional payoff feels fully earned rather than implied. high ( Scene 52 (Confrontation with Dexter / Aurelio) Scene 53 (Clinic torture and cremation setup) )
- Emotional beats occasionally undercut by comic tone: some scenes (e.g., family trauma, Jenna's death and Harmony's guilt) deserve quieter development; the heavy comic voice sometimes pushes past opportunities for deeper pathos. medium ( Scene 12 (Backstory of Harmony & childhood / Jonny Gossamer) Scene 59 (Confrontation with abusive father in hospital) )
- Mid-act pacing: there are stretches where exposition/domino-explanations slow momentum (particularly between discovery scenes and the Big-Bear sequence). Trimming or integrating exposition into action would tighten act two. medium ( Scene 12 (Early Harmony flashbacks / carnival) Scene 33 (News reveal and exposition) )
- Peripheral character arcs (Dabney/Shaw, production-side motivations) are sketched but not paid off fully. Either deepen their roles or streamline to keep narrative focus on core relationships and antagonist thread. low ( Scene 15 (Gay Perry exposition / party backstory) Scene 34 (Dabney/Shaw commercial/industry setup) )
- Clear explanation of why Harry is targeted early: the script hints at party recognition and Dabney's use of Harry as a 'shave' for Cage's price, but the mechanism/by-which the killers single out and frame Harry is not fully explicit in the early sequences — tightening who benefits and how they control the chain would remove ambiguity. high ( Scene 25 (Police contact re: Harmony's suicide) Scene 33 (News/announcements about Dexter) )
- More documentary evidence or an investigative trail showing how the daughter-switch was established (legal/medical papers; corroborating witnesses) would strengthen the mystery's resolution and make the reveal less reliant on exposition. medium ( Scene 50 (Clinic backstory / switch of daughters) )
- Aftercare / legal closure: the final act wraps emotionally but leaves the legal and public consequences of multiple deaths, Harry's admitted shootings and the Dexter conspiracy somewhat ambiguous — a short epilogue or clearer denouement would satisfy audience expectations. medium ( Scene 56 (Aftermath of freeway / who faces legal consequences) )
- Dabney Shaw's role: his practical motives and the cost/benefit of using Harry (beyond 'cheap new guy') could be more concretely grounded so the industry satire doubles as plot logic. low ( Scene 34 (Dabney's manipulation (screen-test angle)) )
- Harmony's character arc resolution: while the script gives emotional moments of forgiveness and reconnection, one final explicit beat of reconciliation/closure with Jenna's death would round Harmony's arc more conclusively. low ( Scene 59 (Hospital confrontation with Harmony's father) )
- Meta-narration and genre-savvy as a stylistic engine: the script frequently addresses the audience and plays with detective tropes (two-case structure, Jonny Gossamer motif), which both honors pulp conventions and refreshes them. high ( Scene 3 (Narration / tone-setting) )
- Cinematic set pieces will translate well to production value and marketing — they are original, visual, and create clear poster/teaser imagery. high ( Scene 23 (Car launch into lake) Scene 56 (Overpass/coffin freewaysign sequence) )
- The script skillfully fuses backstory with present action; Harry/ Harmony's childhood connection is used to motivate both emotional stakes and the protagonist's unreliable narrator choices. medium ( Scene 17 (Reunion and backstory reveal) )
- Strong use of small-town-to-L.A. mythos (Jonny Gossamer) to build motive and thematic resonance about identity, show business illusions and the lure of fame. medium ( Scene 12 (Harmony's robot sighting and Neal incident) )
- Rich satirical subtext about Hollywood — how deals are made, the commodification of talent and the cynical mechanisms of casting/agenting — which adds depth beyond the central mystery. medium ( Scene 15 (Gay Perry and industry satire) )
- Reliance on coincidence Several turning points hinge on unlikely coincidences (body in tub; multiple cars and crash timings; discovery and loss of guns). These pay off surgically for drama but risk pulling the audience out of the story's internal logic. Examples: seq 27 (body suddenly in Harry's tub after cops had just come), seq 23/24 (car launches into lake and driver vanishes; later bodies move), seq 56 (coffin lodging on freeway strut and subsequent chain of improbable rescues). high
- Underexplained antagonist logistics The antagonist's operational mechanics — how the daughter switch was maintained legally/practically, who arranged the frame-ups and why Harry was chosen specifically — are implied more than shown. This leaves some explanatory gaps around the mastermind's full motive and the plan's feasibility (seq 50-54). medium
- Occasional 'tell' over 'show' exposition The script sometimes uses long expository beats or voiceover to explain motives/events (e.g., sections of Perry exposition, some backstory about the daughter switch) instead of dramatizing them with evidence or active discovery. This can make the mid-act feel talky rather than investigative (e.g., seq 49-51). medium
- Pacing lurches around high-concept beats After major set pieces the script occasionally slows into explanation or circular banter rather than moving to the next tight escalation; trimming repetitious circling in sequences 12-18 and 31-35 would keep momentum taut. medium
DeepSeek
Executive Summary
- The meta-narrative voice and fourth-wall breaking create a unique, engaging storytelling style that both comments on and participates in the genre conventions. high ( Scene 3 (Harry's opening narration) Scene 4 (Party scene with meta-dialogue) Scene 15 (Harry's narration interrupting the scene) )
- Exceptionally sharp, witty dialogue that defines characters while advancing plot and maintaining consistent tone throughout. high ( Scene 14 (Harry and Gay Perry's first meeting) Scene 17 (Harry and Harmony's bar reunion) Scene 40 (Kitchen pantry scene with the trio) )
- Well-developed character arcs with emotional depth that balance the comedic elements with genuine pathos and growth. high ( Scene 9-11 (Harmony's childhood flashbacks) Scene 34 (Harry learning he's being used by Dabney) Scene 46 (Harry and Harmony's intimate scene) )
- Expertly crafted suspense sequences that maintain tension while allowing for character moments and humor. medium ( Scene 23 (Lake discovery and body retrieval) Scene 27 (Corpse in the bathtub reveal) Scene 44-45 (Park chase and shootout) )
- Intricate plotting with multiple threads that converge satisfyingly, demonstrating careful setup and payoff. high ( Scene 5-8 (Harry's accidental audition) Scene 12 (Robot incident establishing connections) Scene 58 (Final hospital revelations) )
- The third act becomes somewhat convoluted with multiple reveals and explanations that risk overwhelming the audience. medium ( Scene 50-52 (Clinic confrontation and Russian roulette) Scene 56 (Overpass climax) )
- Some plot threads (like the failed robbery) feel tangential and don't significantly advance character or plot. low ( Scene 35 (Failed liquor store robbery) Scene 41 (Leather jacket thugs confrontation) )
- The ultimate resolution relies heavily on exposition rather than showing, which slightly diminishes emotional impact. medium ( Scene 58 (Final revelations about Jenna's suicide) )
- Lack of deeper exploration of Harry's emotional state after learning he was merely a pawn in Dabney's scheme. low ( Scene 34 (Harry's reaction to being used) )
- More development of the Dexter character's motivations beyond simple greed would add depth to the antagonist. medium ( Scene 58 (Final confrontation with Harmony's father) )
- The recurring theme of childhood trauma and fantasy shaping adult lives creates emotional resonance beneath the comedy. high ( Scene 9 (Childhood magic act flashback) Scene 10 (Jonny Gossamer book influence) )
- Subversion of gay stereotypes through Gay Perry's character - he's competent, tough, and complex rather than a caricature. high ( Scene 14 (Gay Perry introduction) Scene 51 (Russian roulette scene) )
- Perfect balance of absurd humor with genuine tension, demonstrating exceptional tonal control. medium ( Scene 27 (Spider on Harmony's breast) Scene 45 (Finger-eating dog) )
- The Harry-Harmony relationship develops organically with realistic complications and emotional honesty. high ( Scene 17 (Bar reunion scene) Scene 46 (Bedroom scene) )
- Sharp satire of Hollywood culture, fame, and the entertainment industry that adds thematic depth. medium ( Scene 4 (Party scene) Scene 12 (Robot incident) )
- Over-reliance on exposition in third act The final revelations about Jenna's suicide and Dexter's plot are delivered primarily through Gay Perry's explanation rather than shown dramatically. This creates an information dump that slightly undermines the emotional payoff of the mystery. medium
- Underdeveloped secondary characters Characters like Dabney Shaw and the various thugs serve primarily as plot devices rather than fully realized individuals. Their motivations remain simplistic, which limits the story's thematic complexity. low
- Excessive meta-commentary While generally effective, the constant fourth-wall breaking and narrator interruptions could be perceived as self-indulgent or distracting if not executed with the skill demonstrated here. Less experienced writers might struggle to balance this technique with narrative coherence. low
- Convoluted plot mechanics The intricate web of connections (Jonny Gossamer books, childhood trauma, impersonation schemes) requires careful audience attention and risks confusion. The script manages this well, but the complexity borders on overwhelming in the final act. medium
Claude
Executive Summary
- The script opens with a strong, stylized introduction that sets the tone for the rest of the story. The narration and visual style establish the neo-noir genre and the protagonist's voice, drawing the reader in immediately. high ( Scene 1 (KISS, KISS, BANG, BANG) Scene 3 (EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS - NIGHT) )
- The character development of Harry and Harmony is well-executed, with their backstories and relationship history woven seamlessly into the narrative. Their interactions and emotional arcs are compelling and drive the story forward. high ( Scene 9 (INT. OPULENT HOUSE - LOS ANGELES - PARTY STILL RAGING) Scene 10 (INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT) )
- The script's use of humor and wit, particularly in the dialogue between the characters, is a standout strength. The banter and one-liners add levity and personality to the story, balancing the more serious thriller elements. medium ( Scene 17 (INT. THE DOMINO ROOM - NIGHT) Scene 19 (EXT. PARKING LOT - DOMINO ROOM - NIGHT) )
- The pacing of the script can feel uneven at times, with some scenes dragging or feeling overly complex. Streamlining the plot and tightening the narrative in these sections could improve the overall flow of the story. medium ( Scene 11 (EXT. PARK - ROADSIDE - NIGHT) Scene 12 (EXT. TOURIST CABIN - NIGHT) )
- While the character development is generally strong, there are a few instances where the motivations or actions of the characters feel inconsistent or underdeveloped. Strengthening these elements could enhance the overall believability of the story. medium ( Scene 26 (INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT) Scene 27 (INT. HARRY'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT) )
- The script could benefit from a more cohesive and satisfying resolution to the central mystery and the various plot threads. While the ending is action-packed, some of the narrative strands feel unresolved or rushed. medium ( Scene 55 (EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - NIGHT) Scene 56 (EXT. ROAD - NEARBY) )
- The script's exploration of the relationship between Harry and Harmony, and their shared history, is a standout element that adds depth and emotional resonance to the story. high ( Scene 7 (INT. THE DOMINO ROOM - NIGHT) Scene 8 (INT. CORNER BOOTH - SEVERAL DRINKS LATER) )
- The script's use of nonlinear storytelling and the incorporation of Jonny Gossamer references add a unique stylistic flair that sets it apart from more conventional thrillers. medium ( Scene 13 (INT. HARRY'S HOTEL SUITE - BEDROOM - NIGHT) Scene 14 (EXT. FOUNTAIN AVENUE - DRIVING - NIGHT) )
- Character Motivations While the character development is generally strong, there are a few instances where the motivations or actions of the characters feel inconsistent or underdeveloped. For example, the sudden shift in Harmony's attitude towards Harry in Sequence 27 could be better explained or foreshadowed. medium
- Pacing Issues The pacing of the script can feel uneven at times, with some scenes dragging or feeling overly complex. This is particularly evident in Sequences 11 and 12, where the plot becomes convoluted and the momentum slows. Streamlining these sections could improve the overall flow of the story. medium
Memorable lines in the script:
| Scene Number | Line |
|---|---|
| 3 | NARRATOR: Thanks for coming. I guess you'd call this a detective story; there are dull parts, but there's a murder in it. Also a broken heart so I guess it's a love story. Oh, and everything's connected, it all loops back around, it's cool. My name's Harry Lockhart, I'll be your narrator. Welcome to L.A. Welcome to the party. |
| 20 | HARMONY: Do you know what time it is? |
| 5 | Harry: PUT THAT THING AWAY. |
| 16 | GAY PERRY: Yes, a talking monkey. Ugly sucker. Traveled here from the future, only says 'ficus.' Detective lessons, tomorrow. Don't forget. |
| 38 | HARRY: I CAN'T BELIEVE You· CUT OFF MY FINGER. |