Deadpool & wolverine

Executive Summary

Overview

Genres: Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Adventure, Drama, Superhero, Romance

Setting: Contemporary, with elements of time travel, Various locations including North Dakota, the TVA Command Center, and alternate realities

Overview: The story begins with Deadpool, who humorously reflects on his return to the Marvel universe after a long absence. He digs up Wolverine's grave, only to discover that Wolverine is not dead. This leads to a chaotic encounter with the Time Variance Authority (TVA), who seek to arrest Deadpool for his crimes. As Deadpool battles the TVA using Wolverine's skeleton, he embarks on a quest to find different versions of Wolverine across timelines, ultimately aiming to save his universe from destruction. Throughout the journey, Deadpool grapples with themes of friendship, redemption, and self-acceptance, culminating in a climactic confrontation with the antagonist Cassandra Nova, where he must make a significant sacrifice for the greater good.

Themes: Finding Meaning and Purpose, Friendship and Camaraderie, Redemption and Second Chances, The Nature of Identity and Self-Acceptance, The Absurdity of Life and the Power of Humor

Conflict and Stakes: Deadpool and Wolverine's struggle to save their universe from destruction by Cassandra Nova, with the fate of multiple timelines at stake.

Overall Mood: Comedic and irreverent, with moments of dark humor and emotional depth.

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

  • Scene 1: Playful and self-referential, setting the tone for Deadpool's return.
  • Scene 12: Tense and introspective, highlighting Wolverine's internal struggles and guilt.
  • Scene 25: Chaotic and action-packed, showcasing the intense battle against Cassandra's forces.
  • Scene 40: Bittersweet and nostalgic, reflecting on friendship and the characters' journeys.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The integration of time travel and alternate realities allows for creative storytelling and character interactions.
  • Major Twist: The revelation that Deadpool and Wolverine's actions could lead to the destruction of multiple timelines adds stakes to their journey.
  • Distinctive Setting: The TVA Command Center and various alternate realities provide a visually rich backdrop for the story.
  • Innovative Ideas: The screenplay's blend of dark humor with serious themes of redemption and friendship sets it apart.
  • Unique Characters: The presence of various Deadpool variants and their interactions create comedic and chaotic moments.

Comparable Scripts:

  • Deadpool (2016)
  • Logan (2017)
  • Rick and Morty (TV Series)
  • The Lego Movie (2014)
  • Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
  • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
  • The Umbrella Academy (TV Series)
  • Zombieland (2009)
  • The Boys (TV Series)

Writing Style:

The screenplay demonstrates a consistent blend of action, humor, and character-driven storytelling. Witty dialogue and sharp banter are prevalent throughout, often used to explore complex themes and character relationships within high-stakes situations. The tone shifts between dark humor and emotional depth, creating a dynamic and engaging narrative. While fantastical or superhero elements may be present, the focus remains on well-developed characters and their interactions.

Style Similarities:

  • Quentin Tarantino
  • Joss Whedon
Other Similarities
Pass/Consider/Recommend

Recommend


Explanation: The screenplay for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' is a highly entertaining and visually striking mashup of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the Fox X-Men universe. The story follows Deadpool's quest to find the Wolverine and save his own universe from destruction, leading to a high-stakes adventure that blends humor, action, and heartfelt character moments. With a strong ensemble cast, clever dialogue, and a compelling narrative that explores themes of heroism, legacy, and the power of friendship, the screenplay delivers a fresh and engaging take on the superhero genre.


USP: This screenplay uniquely combines the irreverent humor of Deadpool with the darker, more serious tones associated with Wolverine, creating a dynamic interplay between the two characters. The use of meta-commentary and self-awareness adds a layer of depth that appeals to both fans of the superhero genre and those looking for a fresh take on character-driven storytelling.
Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$30-50 million

Target Audience Demographics: Fans of superhero films, particularly those aged 18-34, and audiences who enjoy dark humor and action-comedy.

Marketability: The established popularity of Deadpool and Wolverine, combined with the unique blend of humor and action, makes it highly marketable.

The screenplay's self-referential humor and meta-commentary on superhero tropes will attract a diverse audience.

The inclusion of time travel and alternate realities adds a fresh twist that can intrigue fans of the genre.

Profit Potential: Very high, due to the established fanbase of the characters, potential for merchandise, and the appeal of the humor and action.

Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice is irreverent, darkly comedic, and self-aware. It blends witty banter, pop culture references, and fourth-wall breaks with moments of genuine emotional depth and vulnerability. The narrative is fast-paced and action-packed, often punctuated by unexpected twists and turns. The direction emphasizes dynamic visuals and comedic staging.

Best representation: Scene 3 - Bone-Breaking Mayhem. This scene best encapsulates the writer's unique voice because it perfectly balances the key elements of their style: witty dialogue (Deadpool's negotiations with the Minutemen and his conversation with Logan's skeleton), dark humor (the absurdity of the situation, Logan's decayed state), emotional depth (Deadpool's longing for Logan), and unexpected twists (the arrival of the Minutemen, the upbeat soundtrack). The scene also showcases the writer's knack for dynamic direction, as indicated by the stage direction 'set to the upbeat tune of NSync's 'Bye, Bye, Bye.'' It's a microcosm of the entire screenplay's approach: blending the serious and silly, the emotional and the absurd, to create a compelling and unique cinematic experience.

Memorable Lines:

  • Wade: Suck it, Fox. I’m going to Disneyland. Get fuuuuucked. (Scene 12)
  • WADE: I want to be an Avenger. (Scene 5)
  • WADE: Whoa, whoa. Is that supposed to be scary? Pegging isn’t new for me, friendo. But it is for Disney. (Scene 10)
  • Deadpool: I have a black belt in Karen. And I’m going to go upstairs, and I’m going to tell them all about -- (Scene 18)
  • Nicepool: It costs nothing to be kind. (Scene 31)
Characters

Deadpool (Wade Wilson):A wisecracking anti-hero with regenerative abilities, known for his humor and irreverence.

Wolverine (Logan):A gruff mutant with healing powers and retractable claws, struggling with his past and sense of heroism.

Cassandra Nova:The main antagonist, a powerful telepath and mutant with a vendetta against Deadpool and Wolverine.

Mr. Paradox:A representative of the Time Variance Authority, caught in the conflict between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Cassandra.

Jonathan:A character with a strong desire for revenge against Cassandra, providing comic relief and intensity.

B-15:A TVA agent who plays a crucial role in the conflict and resolution of the story.

Story Shape
Summary **Title: Deadpool: Anchors Aweigh** **Genre: Superhero Comedy** **Summary:** In the snowy wilderness of North Dakota, Deadpool eagerly announces his return to the franchise, humorously addressing concerns about honoring Wolverine's legacy. However, his journey spirals into absurdity when he digs up Wolverine's grave, only to find disappointment and a broken shovel, highlighting the chaotic tone that defines his adventure. Feeling nostalgic, Deadpool converses with Logan's skeleton at the gravesite, lamenting the loss of their chaotic escapades, but their reunion is interrupted by the TVA Minutemen, leading to a chaotic standoff. Armed with Wolverine's skeleton, Deadpool humorously navigates a battle that showcases his darkly comedic fighting style. Struggling with his purpose, Wade Wilson interviews for the Avengers, humorously recounting his past and desperately wanting to impress his girlfriend. Despite a comedic car sales pitch gone awry, Wade feels out of place in his mundane job. A birthday surprise from friends reveals his hidden feelings of loneliness, especially when confronted with Vanessa's new relationship. After an unexpected confrontation with TVA agents, Wade finds himself at the TVA where Mr. Paradox explains the concept of the 'Sacred Timeline', proposing Wade's involvement in saving all realities. Eager to be a hero, Deadpool's intentions shift wildly as he escapes from the TVA, igniting a white-knuckle adventure to find a new Wolverine who can act as the universe's 'Anchor Being.' Wade's search leads him through various timelines, encountering multiple versions of Wolverine and comedic confrontations filled with absurdity. As he grapples with his desire for companionship and acceptance, Deadpool discovers a drunken Logan, ultimately succumbing to a moment of dark humor as he tries to drag his friend to save their dying universe. The narrative takes a turn when Deadpool and Wolverine face the ominous Cassandra Nova, who threatens the multiverse's existence. Amid chaotic battles filled with dark humor and suspense, bonds are tested, sacrifices are made, and unexpected allies arise, including Deadpool variants. Their antics culminate in a climactic showdown against Nova, where a fateful decision leads to self-sacrifice, showcasing themes of friendship, loss, and redemption. In the aftermath, Deadpool's comedic resilience shines through as he humorously revives, leaving the audience to reflect on the importance of multifaceted connections and the absurdity of heroism. With heartfelt farewells and a dose of comedic nostalgia, the film closes on a note of hope, hinting at future adventures and the unbreakable bonds formed through chaos, humor, and a touch of tragedy.


Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The screenplay boasts a creative premise, blending the irreverent humor of Deadpool with the expansive world of the Marvel multiverse. The concept of a dying universe needing an 'Anchor Being' provides a unique high-stakes narrative, and the inclusion of various Wolverine and Deadpool variants offers exciting possibilities for comedic and action-packed sequences. The character arcs, particularly Deadpool's, show potential for significant growth. However, the plot suffers from an over-reliance on chaotic action and humor, often at the expense of narrative coherence and emotional depth. Many scenes feel episodic, lacking a strong central conflict that drives the story forward. The introduction of numerous characters, while initially exciting, dilutes the focus on the core relationships and their development. The constant shifting between timelines and universes can feel disorienting, undermining the emotional investment in the characters' journeys. The pacing is uneven, with some scenes feeling rushed while others drag on unnecessarily. A stronger central conflict, tighter plotting, and more focused character development would significantly improve the overall story.
Suggestions: - Streamline the plot, focusing on a core conflict that drives the narrative. - Develop a more compelling antagonist with clearer motivations. - Reduce the number of characters to allow for more depth in key relationships. - Enhance the emotional depth of the story by focusing on character relationships and internal conflicts. - Improve pacing by cutting unnecessary scenes and focusing on pivotal moments. - Create a more satisfying resolution that provides closure to the main plot points and character arcs. - Consider a more linear structure before incorporating time-travel elements.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Beginning The opening scenes effectively capture Deadpool's signature humor and self-awareness, successfully establishing his personality and tone for the film. The witty voiceovers and pop culture references immediately engage the audience. However, the initial setup feels somewhat disjointed. The quick transition from a humorous introduction to the somber task of digging up Wolverine's grave creates an abrupt tonal shift that disrupts the flow. The initial conflict—recovering Wolverine's remains—feels weak and lacks the dramatic weight needed to launch the larger narrative of a dying universe. While the introduction of the TVA provides a necessary antagonist, the initial encounter feels somewhat underdeveloped. The comedic elements, while entertaining, overshadow the urgency of the situation, making the stakes feel less significant.
Suggestions: - Strengthen the initial conflict to establish higher stakes from the start. - Smooth the tonal shifts between humor and more serious moments. - Develop the introduction of the TVA and their motives more thoroughly. - Establish a clearer central conflict and goal for the protagonist(s) early on. - Consider delaying the introduction of the multiverse until after a strong central conflict has been established.
Middle The middle section of the screenplay introduces a large cast of characters, many of whom are thinly developed. The constant shifts between timelines and universes, while providing opportunities for comedic moments and action sequences, ultimately distract from the core narrative and character development. The scenes involving Wade's attempts to find a new Logan feel repetitive and lack dramatic tension. The humor, while often effective, becomes somewhat predictable and repetitive, hindering the emotional investment in the characters' journeys. While there are moments of genuine emotional depth, particularly in Wade's reflections on his past relationships, these moments are often overshadowed by the overwhelming amount of chaotic action and humor. The pacing remains uneven, with some scenes feeling rushed while others drag on.
Suggestions: - Reduce the number of characters, focusing on those who contribute most to the central conflict and character arcs. - Establish a clearer narrative throughline that connects the different timelines and universes. - Develop more nuanced conflicts that involve the characters' internal struggles and relationships. - Vary the types of humor and incorporate more unexpected comedic moments. - Improve pacing by focusing on crucial scenes and cutting those that add little to the story.
Ending The final act features some satisfying action sequences and a climactic confrontation with Cassandra Nova. The visual description of the battles is exciting, hinting at intense and visually appealing action. The resolution of the central conflict, however, feels rushed and somewhat unsatisfying. The sudden and somewhat abrupt introduction of numerous Deadpool variants contributes to a chaotic final battle that overshadows the emotional impact of Wolverine's sacrifice. The resolution of the main conflict lacks weight, with the heroes' fates seemingly left ambiguous rather than definitively resolved. The ending attempts to offer a humorous, lighthearted tone, but this feels jarring after the intensity of the previous scenes. The film's message regarding friendship and the importance of relationships seems somewhat underdeveloped, resulting in an unsatisfying culmination of character growth.
Suggestions: - Develop a more satisfying conclusion to the main conflict, providing clear resolution for the characters' fates. - Create a more emotionally resonant resolution that highlights the characters' growth and relationships. - Streamline the final confrontation with Cassandra Nova, focusing on the most important aspects of the battle. - Ensure that the humor in the final scenes complements the overall emotional tone of the film rather than conflicting with it. - Consider adding a final scene that offers closure on the main themes of the story.

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

1 - Deadpool's Return: A Snowy Reflection Humorous, Excited, Nostalgic 8.5 8 88 9 687676877 89888
2 - Deadpool's Grave Digger Blues Humorous, Sarcastic, Frustrated 8.5 8 89 9 787778878 99888
3 - Deadpool's Chaotic Farewell Humorous, Nostalgic, Sarcastic 8.5 9 89 9 787.5888998 998.588
4 - Bone-Breaking Mayhem Humorous, Violent, Sarcastic 9.2 9 99 9 889989988 109988
5 - A Job Interview with the Avengers Humorous, Desperate, Emotional 8.7 9 99 9 987878979 99888
6 - Wade 2.0: The Unlikely Salesman Humorous, Sarcastic, Chaotic 8.5 8 89 9 787777877 99888
7 - A Suit in the Locker Humorous, Nostalgic, Chaotic, Reflective 8.5 8 89 9 887878878 89888
8 - A Birthday Masked in Sarcasm Humorous, Bittersweet, Awkward 8.5 8 89 9 787675879 99888
9 - A Heartfelt Birthday Celebration Humorous, Heartfelt, Reflective 8.5 8 88 9 797665769 99888
10 - Time-Traveling Tangles Humorous, Sarcastic, Confrontational 8.5 9 89 9 787.5887896 998.588
11 - Awakening in the TVA Humorous, Sarcastic, Lighthearted 8.5 8 89 9 787776886 99888
12 - Wade's Marvelous Awakening Humorous, Sarcastic, Exciting 9.2 9 99 9 987979989 99888
13 - Deadpool's Dilemma: A Fashionable Escape Humorous, Sarcastic, Dramatic 8.7 9 99 9 987.5989999 998.588
14 - Deadpool's Clumsy Clash Humorous, Intense, Sarcastic 8.5 9 89 9 887.5989898 998.588
15 - Deadpool's Hairy Encounter Humorous, Sarcastic, Suspenseful 8.5 8 89 8 687776787 99888
16 - Deadpool's Casino Chaos Humorous, Sarcastic, Violent 8.5 8 89 9 787878888 99888
17 - Rescue Mission at the Bar Humorous, Sarcastic, Intense 8.7 9 99 9 987.5989999 998.588
18 - Deadpool's Desperate Gamble Humorous, Sarcastic, Confrontational 8.5 9 99 8 887.5989998 998.588
19 - Desperate Alliances in The Void Humorous, Intense, Sarcastic 8.5 8 99 9 887989988 89888
20 - The Wasteland Showdown Humorous, Sarcastic, Heroic 8.5 8 89 9 789888897 99888
21 - Flames, Fights, and Funny Quips Humorous, Sarcastic, Intense 8.7 9 99 9 889989988 99988
22 - Desert Duel and the Void's Threat Humorous, Tense, Mysterious 8.5 9 99 8 887879988 99888
23 - Chains of Fate Humorous, Dark, Mysterious 8.7 9 99 9 989989988 99888
24 - Disintegration and Dark Humor Humorous, Tense, Sarcastic 8.5 8 89 9 887878887 99888
25 - Buried Fears Humorous, Sarcastic, Intense 8.5 9 89 9 887.5989899 998.588
26 - The Breaking Point Hurt, Heavy, Emotional, Tense 8.5 8 89 9 887776779 99888
27 - Escape from the Skeletal Arena Humorous, Sarcastic, Intense 8.7 9 99 9 887.5989988 998.588
28 - Cliffside Antics Humorous, Sarcastic, Tense 8.5 8 99 9 787788978 99988
29 - Diner of Disillusionment Humorous, Dark, Reflective 8.5 8 89 9 787776888 99888
30 - Navigating Tensions and Terrain Humorous, Sarcastic, Reflective 8.5 8 89 9 789686778 99888
31 - A Canine Conundrum Humorous, Sarcastic, Whimsical 8.5 8 89 9 798675796 99888
32 - Minivan Mayhem Humorous, Sarcastic, Awkward 8.5 9 89 9 887775777 99888
33 - Road Trip Tensions Humorous, Dark, Sarcastic 8.5 8 89 9 787.5888898 998.588
34 - Clash in the Odyssey Humorous, Intense, Confrontational 8.7 9 89 9 887989989 99888
35 - Minivan Mayhem: Wolverine vs. Deadpool Violent, Humorous, Chaotic 8.5 8 89 9 887989877 89988
36 - Unlikely Allies in the Void Humorous, Sarcastic, Intense, Dramatic 8.7 9 99 9 987979989 99888
37 - Flickering Shadows of Regret Reflective, Regretful, Introspective 9.2 9 99 10 8987878710 99888
38 - Cassandra's Gambit Tense, Humorous, Cynical 8.5 8 99 9 787978978 99888
39 - Wasteland Assault Humorous, Action-packed, Sarcastic 8.5 8 89 9 789888877 99888
40 - Final Stand in the Arena Intense, Humorous, Dramatic 9.2 9 99 9 9899810989 99999
41 - Chaos in the Arena Intense, Violent, Dramatic, Suspenseful 9.2 9 99 9 887.5989989 99988
42 - Confronting Shadows Intense, Reflective, Grim 9.2 9 99 10 9988789710 99888
43 - Chaos and Confrontation Intense, Emotional, Humorous 8.7 9 99 9 987.5989989 998.588
44 - The Dilemma of Mercy Tense, Hopeless, Serious, Shocking, Humorous 8.7 9 99 9 987.5989999 998.588
45 - Race Against Oblivion Intense, Humorous, Tense, Mysterious 9.2 9 99 9 887.59810999 99988
46 - Superhero Shenanigans and Dark Betrayal Humorous, Intense, Dark 8.5 8 89 9 887988888 89988
47 - Chaos at the TVA Outpost Intense, Humorous, Menacing 9.2 9 99 9 9899810989 99988
48 - Manipulation of Time Humorous, Intense, Sarcastic, Dark 8.5 8 99 8 789989987 99988
49 - Deadpool Variants Assemble Humorous, Intense, Defiant 8.5 9 89 9 887.5989998 998.588
50 - A Shield of Absurdity Humorous, Dark, Intense 8.5 8 89 9 787888888 99988
51 - Deadpool vs. Deadpool: A Hilarious Showdown Humorous, Intense, Sarcastic 8.5 8 89 9 789888877 99988
52 - Peterpool's Triumph Humorous, Chaotic, Energetic, Stylized 8.5 9 89 8 787.5888897 998.588
53 - Sacrifice and Shenanigans Intense, Humorous, Serious 8.5 8 98 8 889989978 99988
54 - Sacrifice on the Subway Tracks Emotional, Humorous, Intense, Sacrificial 9.2 9 99 10 9988899810 99999
55 - Circuit of Destiny Epic, Sacrificial, Intense, Emotional, Humorous 9.2 9 99 9 98797109810 99888
56 - Resurrection and Accountability Humorous, Emotional, Sarcastic, Dramatic 8.5 8 99 9 887889889 99888
57 - Bittersweet Farewell Over Shawarma Humorous, Heartfelt, Reflective 9.2 9 99 10 887362779 99888
58 - A Day of Friends and Laughter Humorous, Heartfelt, Wistful 8.5 8 89 9 687564778 99888
59 - Moments of Connection Humorous, Heartfelt, Iconic 9.2 9 99 9 987979979 99888
60 - Rants and Revenge Humorous, Sarcastic, Intense 8.5 8 89 9 787.5888898 998.588


Scene 1 - Deadpool's Return: A Snowy Reflection
DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE

Ryan Reynolds & Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick
& Zeb Wells & Shawn Levy




Marvel Studios

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2024 Marvel Studios, Inc.
No portion of this script may be performed, published,
reproduced, sold or distributed by any means, or quoted or
published in any medium, including any website, without the
prior written consent of Marvel Studios, Inc. Disposal of
this script copy does not alter any of the restrictions set
forth above.
FADE UP ON:

THE MARVEL LOGO.

DEADPOOL (V.O.)
That logo music just gets you
pumped, right? Oh sorry, I’m just-- *
I’m excited to be here. It’s been a *
while.
1 EXT. NORTH DAKOTA - WILDERNESS - DAY 1

Somewhere, more like NOWHERE...

But let’s be honest, we all know where. As darkness lifts...
The iconic notes from “ONLY YOU” by The Platters are all
around us as images slowly come into view...

Grey clouds fill the sky. Lazy snowflakes flutter down onto a
light dusting of fresh snow covering the landscape.

We track low. Following familiar (but different) black and
red boots as they crush earth below. The hilt of familiar
(but different) swords glint in the winter light. This lone
red-suited figure is on a mission. The montage of tight
vignettes continue as a familiar voice welcomes us:

DEADPOOL (V.O.)
You, know for a long time I wasn’t
sure I’d ever be back. Disney
bought Fox. There was a whole
boring rights issue, blahbity-
blahbity-blah. But then it turned
out they wanted me. The one guy who
shouldn’t even have his own movie,
much less a franchise. Marvel’s so
stupid. Look, we all saw the
trailer. We know the title of this
thing, so I know what you’re
wondering. How are we going to do
this without dishonoring Logan’s
memory? And I’ll tell you how...
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Superhero"]

Summary In a snowy North Dakota wilderness, Deadpool expresses his excitement about returning to the franchise after rights issues, while humorously addressing the audience's concerns about honoring Logan's memory. He reflects on the challenges ahead, breaking the fourth wall with playful commentary and setting the stage for future developments.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Engaging introduction of character
  • Self-awareness and meta-references
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot development
  • Low emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively establishes the tone, introduces the main character, and addresses audience expectations with humor and self-referential jokes. It sets up intrigue for the rest of the film.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of reintroducing Deadpool in a new context while maintaining his signature humor and self-awareness is well-executed. The scene sets up the premise of the film in an engaging way.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot is not fully developed in this scene, it effectively teases the audience with hints of what's to come. It sets up questions and curiosity about how Deadpool will fit into the Marvel universe.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a familiar character in a new setting, blending action with introspection and self-awareness. The dialogue is fresh and engaging, offering a unique take on the character's return to the Marvel universe.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

Deadpool's character is well-established through his voice-over and actions, showcasing his humor, self-awareness, and irreverence. The scene sets up expectations for his interactions with other characters.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it sets up the potential for Deadpool to evolve and adapt to his new Marvel surroundings.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to reflect on his return to the Marvel universe and address the audience's concerns about how his character will be portrayed without dishonoring another character's memory. This reflects his need for validation and acceptance despite his unconventional nature.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to continue on his mission in the snowy wilderness, hinting at a larger adventure or quest he is embarking on. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he is facing in the harsh environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict is not prominent in this scene, focusing more on introducing the character and setting the tone. However, there are hints of potential conflicts to come.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, with hints of challenges and conflicts to come. The audience is left wondering how the protagonist will navigate these obstacles.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are not high in this scene, focusing more on establishing the character and tone. However, there are hints of potential conflicts and challenges to come.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the character, hinting at the plot, and setting up questions and expectations for the audience.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the protagonist's self-awareness and the audience's uncertainty about how his character will be portrayed. The unexpected twists in dialogue and action add to the intrigue of the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's self-awareness of his own unconventional nature and the expectations placed on him by the audience and the Marvel universe. This challenges his beliefs about his own worth and place in the world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6.5

The scene elicits a light-hearted and nostalgic emotional impact, primarily through humor and the audience's connection to the character of Deadpool.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, self-referential, and characteristic of Deadpool's style. It engages the audience and sets the tone for the rest of the film.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, action, and introspection. The dynamic visuals and witty dialogue keep the audience interested and invested in the character's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and introspection. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and builds anticipation for what's to come.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear introduction of the setting, character, and internal conflict. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The opening scene effectively sets the tone for the film, blending humor with a sense of nostalgia. Deadpool's voiceover is engaging and immediately draws the audience in, showcasing his self-awareness and irreverent style. However, the reference to the rights issues could be streamlined to maintain pacing and avoid losing the audience's attention.
  • The imagery of the snowy North Dakota wilderness is visually striking, but the description could benefit from more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere. For instance, incorporating sounds of the environment or the feeling of the cold could immerse the audience further into the setting.
  • Deadpool's commentary on his return and the potential challenges ahead is a strong narrative device, but it might be more impactful if it included a specific anecdote or a humorous twist related to Logan. This would deepen the emotional connection to Logan's character and set up the stakes for Deadpool's journey.
  • The use of the song 'Only You' is a clever choice that adds to the emotional weight of the scene. However, the transition from the voiceover to the visuals could be smoother. Consider integrating the music earlier in the scene to create a more cohesive audio-visual experience.
  • While the humor is a hallmark of Deadpool's character, some of the jokes may feel forced or overly meta. Striking a balance between humor and the emotional undertone of honoring Logan's memory is crucial. The scene should not undermine the gravity of the subject matter with too many jokes.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the voiceover to focus on the most impactful elements of Deadpool's return, perhaps by eliminating some of the more redundant phrases.
  • Enhance the sensory details in the description of the setting to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Incorporate a specific anecdote or humorous twist related to Logan that Deadpool can reflect on, which would deepen the emotional stakes of the narrative.
  • Integrate the song 'Only You' earlier in the scene to create a more seamless transition between the voiceover and the visuals.
  • Aim for a balance between humor and emotional depth, ensuring that the jokes do not overshadow the significance of honoring Logan's character.



Scene 2 - Deadpool's Grave Digger Blues
2 EXT. NORTH DAKOTA - GRAVESITE - DAY 2

CLOSE ON: A familiar makeshift wooden CRUCIFIX, turned forty-
five degrees to form an ‘X.’

DEADPOOL (V.O.)
...We’re not.

The camera slowly drifts back from the iconic ‘X’, widening
to reveal an “I LIKE ME” MUG perched atop a rock.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 2.
2 (CONTINUED) 2

Wider still now, we see chunks of dirt being flung up and out
of a hole in the ground, never seeing the source of the
earthen projectiles, just the metronomic sound of spade
impaling earth.

DEADPOOL (V.O.)
I’m going to let you in on a little
secret. Wolverine is not dead.
Sure, it made for a perfect ending
to a very sad story. But that’s not
how regenerative healing factors
work. You think I want to be out
here in Butt-Fuck North Dakota
digging up the one and only
Wolverine? No thank you. But the
fate of my entire world is at
stake. He may not be living his
best life, but he sure as hell
ain’t dead.

SHUNK.

The sound STOPS as contact is made. Contact with...something.

DEADPOOL (O.C.)
Well, there you are. Yes, yes, yes,
yes.

The grave-robber stands upright for the first time,
revealing:

DEADPOOL

Standing waist deep in a hole of his making. His suit is new.
Bespoke. He pokes around with the tip of his beat-up old
shovel, confirming something is under there. He vanishes down
into the hole again, furiously clearing the last layer of
earth. Fistfuls of dirt and roots go flying.

Below the frame, the sound of Deadpool’s digging stops as we
sense he’s found what he came looking for and it’s...
disappointing.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Come on. Son of a bitch. AGHH
MOTHER-FUCKER-- MY WORLD IS FUCKED.

Deadpool throws a mini-tantrum, punching the air, knocking
over the pile of dirt. Smashing the ‘X’ with a home-run swing
of his shovel. Breaking the shovel across his thigh and
tossing the parts into the hole, only to have the metallic
shovel-tip come bouncing right up and out back at him.
Finally exhausted, Deadpool stands upright, spins, and falls
backwards right into the hole and out of sight.
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 3.

3 OMITTED (MERGED INTO SCENE 4) 3
Genres: ["Action","Comedy"]

Summary In a humorous yet dark scene, Deadpool digs up Wolverine's grave in North Dakota, believing he needs to find his body. Despite his efforts, he discovers something disappointing, leading to a comedic tantrum where he breaks his shovel and falls into the grave, highlighting his frustration and the absurdity of the situation.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging tone
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some repetitive humor

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, sarcasm, and frustration to create an entertaining and engaging sequence that sets the tone for the rest of the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Deadpool digging up Wolverine's grave in a humorous and sarcastic manner is unique and engaging, setting the stage for the story to unfold.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced as Deadpool searches for Wolverine, revealing his motivations and setting up the conflict that will drive the story forward.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on grave-robbing and superhero dynamics, with authentic dialogue and actions that reflect the characters' personalities.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Deadpool's character is well-developed through his actions, dialogue, and emotions in the scene, showcasing his humor, sarcasm, and frustration.

Character Changes: 7

Deadpool undergoes a minor emotional change as he confronts disappointment and frustration, adding complexity to his character.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal in this scene is to find Wolverine, despite not wanting to be digging up his grave. This reflects his deeper need to protect his world and the fear of the consequences if he fails.

External Goal: 7

Deadpool's external goal is to find Wolverine's body to save his world from impending doom.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Deadpool grapples with disappointment and frustration, adding depth to his character.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Deadpool facing obstacles in his search for Wolverine that add suspense and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are raised as Deadpool realizes the gravity of the situation and the importance of finding Wolverine to save his world.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the central conflict and setting up Deadpool's mission to save his world.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected outcome of Deadpool's search for Wolverine, adding a layer of suspense.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Deadpool's desire to save his world and his reluctance to disturb Wolverine's resting place. This challenges his values of loyalty and sacrifice.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, including humor, disappointment, and frustration, engaging the audience and setting the tone for the story.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reflective of Deadpool's character, adding depth and entertainment to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the mix of action, humor, and suspense, keeping the audience invested in Deadpool's mission.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, leading to a climactic moment with Deadpool's discovery.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear descriptions and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a buildup of tension and resolution, fitting the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes Deadpool's voice and humor, maintaining the playful tone set in the first scene. However, the transition from the voiceover to the visual action could be smoother. The initial focus on the crucifix and the mug is intriguing, but it may benefit from a clearer connection to Deadpool's emotional state or the stakes involved in his digging.
  • Deadpool's frustration and mini-tantrum are humorous and align with his character, but the escalation of his actions could be more impactful. The moment where he breaks the shovel feels a bit rushed; allowing for a more gradual build-up to this climax could enhance the comedic effect.
  • The dialogue is witty and captures Deadpool's irreverent style, but it could be tightened. Some lines, while funny, feel slightly verbose and could be trimmed for a snappier delivery. For instance, the explanation of Wolverine's regenerative abilities could be more concise without losing the humor.
  • The visual storytelling is strong, particularly with the imagery of Deadpool digging and the physical comedy of his tantrum. However, the scene could benefit from more varied shot compositions to maintain visual interest. For example, incorporating close-ups of Deadpool's expressions during his tantrum could enhance the comedic effect.
  • The emotional stakes of the scene are somewhat diluted by the humor. While Deadpool's comedic approach is essential, it might be beneficial to intersperse moments of genuine concern or reflection about Wolverine's fate to create a more balanced emotional arc.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Deadpool before he begins digging, allowing the audience to connect more deeply with his motivations and the emotional weight of the task.
  • Revise the dialogue to be more concise, focusing on punchy one-liners that maintain the humor while also conveying the urgency of the situation.
  • Incorporate more dynamic camera angles and shot compositions to enhance visual storytelling, particularly during Deadpool's tantrum to emphasize his physical comedy.
  • Explore the possibility of a moment where Deadpool's humor falters, revealing a glimpse of vulnerability or seriousness about Wolverine's situation, which could add depth to the character and the scene.
  • Consider using sound design to enhance the comedic moments, such as exaggerated sound effects during Deadpool's tantrum, to amplify the humor and engage the audience further.



Scene 3 - Deadpool's Chaotic Farewell
4 EXT. NORTH DAKOTA - LOG NEAR GRAVESITE - DAY 4

We see Deadpool sitting. Talking. As we continue to drift
slowly past, we reveal Logan sitting beside him. They are
sitting against the very same tree where Logan died in LOGAN.

DEADPOOL *
That was weird. I’m much calmer *
now. Look, I’m not a man of *
science, but you seem incredibly
passed away.
(sighs)
But it’s good to see ya.

The adamantium skeleton is seated in a casual pose. Legs
folded elegantly like Cary Grant at a dinner party. If Logan
wasn’t completely decayed and held together by A FEW rotting
tendons, it would look like two dudes hanging out in the
woods.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I’ve gotta be honest. I’ve always
wanted to ride with you, Log’. You
and me, getting into it. Deadpool
and Wolverine just fucking shit up.
Can you imagine the fun? The chaos?
The residuals?
(in Australian accent)
G’day mate. There’s nothing that’ll
bring me back to life faster than a
big bag of Marvel cash.
(without accent)
Me too, Hugh. But no. No, no, no.
You had to get all noble and die
for real. Goddamnit, I could really
use your help right now--

The words are no sooner out of Deadpool’s mouth than the air
nearby begins to glow and shimmer.

WIDE ANGLE.

A TIME DOOR APPEARS AND OPENS.

Out floods an army of MASKED MINUTEMEN from the TIME VARIANCE
AUTHORITY (TVA). Upgraded since we last saw them in ‘Loki.’

FULLY ARMORED and WIELDING TIMESTICKS. Ready for action.

The Minutemen take an aggressive posture. We see Deadpool pop
his head out like a gopher from behind the hill. He
disappears down below and yells from behind the knoll:

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 4.
4 (CONTINUED) 4

DEADPOOL (O.C.) (CONT’D)
WAIT! I’m warning you! I’m not
alone.

UNMASKED MINUTEMAN
Wade Winston Wilson! You are under
arrest by the Time Variance
Authority for too many crimes to
list. Come out and we’ll give you
the courtesy of taking you in one
piece.

DEADPOOL
Ughhhh, death by day-player.

UNMASKED MINUTEMAN
Last chance: Throw out your weapons
and come out peacefully.

DEADPOOL
(calling to Minutemen)
I’m not gonna give you my weapons.
(beat)
But I promise not to use them.

Deadpool turns to camera and addresses us directly.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
There are 206 bones in the human
body. 207 if I’m watching Gossip
Girl.

Deadpool HIGH-FIVES LOGAN’S SKELETAL HAND. Whispers:

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Here we go. Maximum Effort.

Music CUE: NSync, “Bye, Bye, Bye”.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a poignant yet humorous scene, Deadpool sits by Logan's gravesite, conversing with Logan's decayed skeleton and expressing his longing for their chaotic adventures together. As he reminisces about Logan's noble death, an army of TVA Minutemen arrives to arrest him for his crimes. Deadpool attempts to negotiate, refusing to surrender his weapons while sharing a comedic moment with Logan's skeletal hand. The scene culminates in a standoff as Deadpool prepares for action, set to the upbeat tune of NSync's 'Bye, Bye, Bye.'
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Blend of humor and sentimentality
  • Introduction of new conflict with Time Variance Authority
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, action, and a touch of sentimentality while introducing a new plot element with the Time Variance Authority. The dialogue is witty and engaging, and the overall tone is consistent with the Deadpool franchise.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of blending Deadpool's irreverent humor with a time travel element and the introduction of the Time Variance Authority is innovative and engaging. It adds a new layer of complexity to the story and opens up intriguing possibilities for future developments.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene is well-structured, introducing a new conflict and advancing the overall narrative. The discovery of the Time Variance Authority and Deadpool's interaction with Logan's skeletal remains add depth to the story and set up future events.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as the appearance of the Time Variance Authority and the use of pop culture references. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, particularly Deadpool, are well-developed and consistent with their established personalities. Deadpool's humor and irreverence shine through, and the introduction of Logan's skeletal remains adds a poignant touch to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, Deadpool's interaction with Logan's remains hints at a deeper emotional journey and potential growth for the character in future developments.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal in this scene is to express his desire for adventure and chaos, as well as his longing for the presence of Wolverine. This reflects his deeper need for excitement and connection.

External Goal: 7.5

Deadpool's external goal is to evade arrest by the Time Variance Authority and handle the situation peacefully. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The introduction of the Time Variance Authority and the conflict it brings with Deadpool raises the stakes and adds tension to the scene. Deadpool's reluctance to surrender and the looming threat of arrest create a sense of urgency.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Deadpool facing off against the Time Variance Authority and the threat of arrest. The audience is left unsure of how the situation will unfold.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as Deadpool faces arrest by the Time Variance Authority, adding a sense of danger and urgency to the situation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict with the Time Variance Authority, setting up future events, and deepening the emotional and thematic layers of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the sudden appearance of the Time Variance Authority and the unexpected turn of events.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around Deadpool's chaotic nature and the authority of the Time Variance Authority. It challenges Deadpool's beliefs about rules and consequences.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, balancing humor with a touch of sentimentality. The interaction between Deadpool and Logan's remains evokes both laughter and a sense of loss, adding emotional depth to the scene.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and in line with the established tone of the Deadpool franchise. The banter between Deadpool and Logan's remains is both humorous and touching, adding depth to their relationship.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, action, and mystery. The introduction of the Time Variance Authority adds intrigue and suspense.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences adds to the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a buildup of tension and conflict, leading to a resolution. It maintains the expected format for its genre.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Deadpool's humor and irreverence, particularly in his interactions with Logan's skeleton. The juxtaposition of Deadpool's lively personality against the morbid setting of a graveyard creates a unique comedic tone that is characteristic of the franchise.
  • The dialogue is witty and engaging, showcasing Deadpool's desire for chaos and adventure alongside his frustration at Logan's noble death. However, the transition from a reflective moment to the sudden appearance of the TVA Minutemen feels a bit abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the pacing and maintain the emotional weight of the scene.
  • The visual description of Logan's skeleton is vivid and humorous, effectively setting the scene. However, the description of the Minutemen's entrance could be more dynamic. Instead of simply stating they take an aggressive posture, consider adding more action-oriented visuals that emphasize their readiness and the tension of the moment.
  • Deadpool's fourth-wall-breaking moments are a highlight, but the line about '206 bones in the human body' feels slightly forced. While it fits his character, it could be rephrased to sound more natural and spontaneous, enhancing the comedic effect.
  • The use of music at the end is a great touch, but it might be more impactful if the song choice is tied more closely to the emotional stakes of the scene. Consider how the lyrics or the vibe of the song could reflect Deadpool's feelings about Logan and the impending chaos.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Deadpool before the Minutemen arrive, allowing him to express more of his feelings about Logan's death. This could deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Enhance the entrance of the TVA Minutemen by incorporating more sensory details, such as the sound of their armor clanking or the atmosphere shifting as they arrive. This would create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Rework the line about '206 bones' to make it feel more organic. Perhaps have Deadpool stumble over the number or make a more absurd comparison that fits his character's style.
  • Explore the possibility of Deadpool's dialogue with Logan's skeleton being interspersed with flashbacks or visual cues that highlight their past adventures together, adding depth to their relationship.
  • Consider using the music cue earlier in the scene to build anticipation for the Minutemen's arrival, creating a more cohesive flow between the dialogue and the action that follows.



Scene 4 - Bone-Breaking Mayhem
5 EXT. NORTH DAKOTA - LOG NEAR GRAVE SITE - DAY 5

What happens next, happens FAST:

Deadpool flies out from behind the dirt pile. Holding Logan’s
skeleton by the neck.

DEADPOOL
Okay, Peanut. Guess we’re getting
that team up after all.

Deadpool lands as MINUTEMEN move in on him. Deadpool looks
like a fuckin’ god of war. With one jerk of his hand,
Deadpool snaps off one of WOLVERINE’s ADAMANTIUM RIB BONES.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 5.
5 (CONTINUED) 5

He throws it violently toward an approaching soldier. We
track it through the air and see it’s engraved with “The
Marvel Cinematic Universe Presents.”

Every few strikes we speed-ramp down so we can read the
various bones entering bodies of screaming Minutemen. An
adamantium tibia breaks through a chest plate. As it
disappears into his body, we read, “A film by Shawn Levy”.
Yup... Wolverine’s bones and the carnage they wreak are also
OUR OPENING CREDITS.

...Then the THIGH-BONES, which have SHIN-BONES attached via
the cadaver’s TENDONS. We ramp down and zoom in to see:
Starring Mr. HUGH JACKMAN and so on...

Deadpool channels Bruce Lee, swinging the thigh/shin combos
around him like perfect makeshift NUNCHUCKS, mowing down
Minutemen like balsa wood: BOOM! CRACK! WHACK!

HELMETS go flying. RIBCAGES get cracked. FOREARMS suffer
COMPOUND FRACTURES.

Deadpool CHOKES a guy with the tendon connecting the two
bigger BONES, squeezing so hard the guy’s skull pops clean
OFF.

Next, Deadpool starts ripping remaining RIBS off Logan’s body
and THROWING/STABBING them into guys. MORE CREDITS left and
right. Men fly everywhere, gutted, leaking.

Deadpool kicks a skeleton head. *

DEADPOOL (CONT’D) *
Mullin! I’m outside the box. *

Deadpool finishes with the ribs, then grabs both CLAVICLES.

The clavicles PIERCE men’s joints and soft tissue. MORE
CREDITS.

Deadpool turns toward an onrushing MINUTEMAN. DP wields
Logan’s PELVIS to block the timestick-wielding Minuteman,
wrenching his arm right back and making him PRUNE HIMSELF
right out of existence.

Deadpool grabs Wolverine’s leg.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Come on, big fella.

As more Minutemen rush in, Deadpool reaches for...

...you guessed it...


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 6.
5 (CONTINUED) (2) 5

...Wolverine’s FOREARMS.

He widens the bone structure of the forearms and slides both
arms into them like elbow length adamantium gloves. As a
gaggle of Minutemen approach, Deadpool touches the forearm
tendon...

SHNIKT.

Ooooohhhhh yeah. CLAWS POP and we widen now to reveal
Deadpool standing, backlit, hunched over. WOLVERINE’S CLAWS
PROTRUDE menacingly from Deadpool’s clenched fists.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
(to camera)
I am soaking wet right now.

Deadpool roars like a FUCKING ANIMAL... FREEZE the ACTION.

DEADPOOL (V.O.)
To be clear, I’m not proud of any
of this. The wanton violence. The
whiff of necrophilia. It isn’t who
I am. It isn’t who I want to be.
Who I want to be, well, to help you
understand that, I’ve gotta take
you back. To a simpler time.

FLASHBACKS take us back in time to...
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary In a chaotic battle against the Minutemen, Deadpool emerges wielding Wolverine's skeleton as weapons, showcasing his darkly comedic combat skills. He throws bones, inflicts gruesome damage, and humorously reflects on his violent actions. The scene blends intense action with absurdity, culminating in Deadpool activating Wolverine's claws, ready for more chaos, as a voiceover hints at a flashback.
Strengths
  • Creative use of weapons
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Action choreography
Weaknesses
  • Potential for excessive violence
  • Lack of emotional depth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly entertaining, blending action, humor, and fantasy elements seamlessly. The use of Wolverine's bones as weapons adds a unique twist, and Deadpool's sarcastic dialogue keeps the audience engaged throughout.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using Wolverine's bones as weapons in a battle scene is innovative and fits well within the fantasy world of the film. The scene effectively introduces this concept and explores its potential in a creative way.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Deadpool's confrontation with the Minutemen and his use of Wolverine's bones as weapons. It advances the overall story by showcasing Deadpool's abilities and setting up future conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on superhero battles, combining elements of humor, introspection, and intense action. The dialogue and character actions feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly Deadpool, are well-developed in this scene. Deadpool's personality shines through his actions and dialogue, showcasing his humor, wit, and chaotic nature effectively.

Character Changes: 8

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, Deadpool's actions and dialogue reveal more about his personality and motivations. The scene adds depth to his character and sets up potential growth in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to reconcile his violent actions with his true identity and values. He expresses regret and a desire to be a better person.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to defeat the Minutemen soldiers and survive the battle. This goal reflects the immediate danger and conflict he is facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with Deadpool facing off against the Minutemen and using unconventional weapons to defend himself. The stakes are raised as the battle intensifies, adding tension and excitement.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing multiple challenges and obstacles that test his abilities and morality. The uncertainty of the outcome adds depth to the conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high as Deadpool faces off against a group of powerful enemies and must rely on unconventional weapons to defend himself. The outcome of the battle has consequences for his future adventures.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges for Deadpool, showcasing his abilities, and setting up future conflicts with the Minutemen. It adds momentum to the overall narrative and keeps the audience engaged.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists and turns in the protagonist's actions and decisions. The outcome of the battle remains uncertain, adding suspense to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's struggle with his violent tendencies and desire to be a better person. This conflict challenges his beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, mainly through the humor and action sequences. While there are elements of violence and chaos, the overall tone keeps the audience engaged without delving too deeply into emotional depth.

Dialogue: 9.5

The dialogue in the scene is witty, sarcastic, and humorous, reflecting Deadpool's character perfectly. The lines are delivered with great comedic timing, adding to the overall entertainment value of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced action, dark humor, and introspective narration. The intense imagery and character dynamics keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, with a balance of action, dialogue, and introspection that keeps the audience engaged and builds tension towards the climax.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear descriptions and dialogue that drive the narrative forward. The formatting enhances the visual impact of the action scenes.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a dynamic structure that builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment. The pacing and formatting enhance the impact of the action sequences.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Deadpool's chaotic energy and humor, which is essential for the character. The use of Wolverine's bones as weapons is a clever and darkly comedic twist that aligns with Deadpool's irreverent tone. However, the sheer volume of violence and gore may overshadow character development and emotional stakes, which could alienate some viewers.
  • The opening credits integrated into the action are a creative choice that adds a unique flair to the scene. However, the rapid-fire nature of the credits might detract from the audience's ability to fully appreciate the humor and creativity behind each bone's impact. Slowing down the pacing slightly during these moments could enhance comedic timing.
  • While the action is visually engaging, the scene could benefit from clearer stakes. As it stands, the conflict feels somewhat one-dimensional, focusing primarily on the physical confrontation without delving into Deadpool's emotional state or motivations. Adding a moment of reflection or a brief internal conflict could deepen the audience's connection to Deadpool.
  • The dialogue is witty and fits Deadpool's character, but it could be more varied. The reliance on physical comedy and visual gags is strong, yet incorporating more verbal humor or banter with the Minutemen could enhance the scene's comedic elements. This would also provide opportunities for character interaction, even in a chaotic setting.
  • The transition into the voiceover at the end is a strong narrative device, but it feels abrupt. A smoother transition that ties the action to Deadpool's internal conflict would create a more cohesive flow. This could involve a moment where Deadpool reflects on the violence he's committing before the flashback, reinforcing the contrast between his actions and his desires.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of hesitation or reflection for Deadpool before he engages in the violence, which could highlight his internal conflict and make the scene more emotionally resonant.
  • Introduce a comedic exchange with the Minutemen during the fight to enhance the humor and showcase Deadpool's personality, making the action feel less isolated.
  • Slow down the pacing during the opening credits to allow the audience to appreciate the humor in each bone's impact, potentially using quick cuts or reaction shots from the Minutemen to enhance comedic timing.
  • Explore Deadpool's motivations for using Wolverine's bones as weapons more deeply, perhaps through a quick flashback or a humorous internal monologue that reflects on their friendship and the absurdity of the situation.
  • Ensure a smoother transition into the voiceover by incorporating a moment where Deadpool acknowledges the chaos around him, setting up the need for a flashback to provide context for his actions.



Scene 5 - A Job Interview with the Avengers
6 INT. OFFICE - DAY 6

CLOSE ON A DESK CALENDAR. It reads MARCH, 2018. *

A CHYRON: “EARTH-616.” *

DEADPOOL (V.O)
I can’t believe I’m finally here.
I’ve waited for this moment for so
long.

INSERT: ECU of WADE nervously tapping his thigh. We see
CABLE’S TIME WATCH on his WRIST.

REVEAL: Wade Wilson. No mask, hoodie. The room is LITTERED
with BUSTER KEATON’S POSSESSIONS. His ICONIC MASK. AWARDS.
Elegance.

WADE
Thank you, sir. For seeing me. I
firmly believe that my services
could be of great use to your
organization.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 7.
6 (CONTINUED) 6
WADE (CONT’D)
Now, I know I was caught
“Smashturbating” in the lobby of
Stark Towers but I can assure you--

We finally flip the camera around and reveal the one and
only: HAROLD LLOYD, sitting behind the desk.

HAROLD LLOYD
Smashturb-- I’m sorry. What was
that?

WADE
Oh. No, I’m sorry. That’s when you
get those toy Hulk Hands, right,
and then you just look down, and
you just-- you brace yourself, and
you ravage the midsection--

HAROLD LLOYD
I get it, okay. Thank you. The
picture’s painted.

WADE
You get the gist.

Wade shifts uncomfortably. This ain’t going well.

HAROLD LLOYD
What exactly brings you here today?

WADE
Why am I--? Wow... Okay. I care...I
know I turn everything into a joke,
but I care, and I want to use that
feeling for something important. I
want to matter. And to show my girl
that I matter. And...

Wade looks behind him.

WADE (CONT’D)
I feel like I’m wasting the good
stuff here... is the Man not gonna
be joining us?

HAROLD LLOYD
The Man?

WADE
Yeah. I should save this if he’s
gonna--




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 8.
6 (CONTINUED) (2) 6

HAROLD LLOYD
As far as you’re concerned right
now, I’m the Man...

WADE
No.

HAROLD LLOYD
The Man is me. I am the Man in this
circumstance. He doesn’t do this
kind of thing anymore.

WADE HAROLD LLOYD (CONT’D)
Cameos? ...Meetings. Entry level
meetings.

WADE (CONT’D)
Entry level? Aren’t you the *
Chauffeur, maybe...?

HAROLD LLOYD
A common misconception. I did begin
my career as Mr. Keaton’s driver.

WADE
Chauffeur.

HAROLD LLOYD
But quickly pivoted to the head of
security.

WADE
The head of-- yes, yes, yes.

HAROLD LLOYD
...And why I am vetting your *
resume.
(pivots)
You seem to have left out whether
or not you had any experience as a
member of a team. Could you maybe
add a little bit of perspective
there?

WADE
Oh no, yes. Of course. I was
Special Forces, but mainly I was
team leader -- founder, really -- *
of X-Force. Sadly, they all
perished in action.

Harold writes in a FILE.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 9.
6 (CONTINUED) (3) 6

HAROLD LLOYD
How exactly did that happen?

WADE
Well, the police say “gravity” but
just between us they didn’t test
well in the focus group, mainly
because of Cable.

HAROLD LLOYD
I see.

Harold makes another note in his file. Wade senses it is not
a good note.

WADE
Whoa, oh oh! I can see this isn’t
going well. Please stop writing. I
just... Look...

Wade’s eyes are wet with a burning sense of desperation.

WADE (CONT’D)
(swallows hard)
...I wanna be an Avenger.

Harold is taken aback. Puts down the pen.

WADE (CONT’D)
(emotional)
I want to be an Avenger.

HAROLD LLOYD
Why do you want to be an Avenger?

WADE
Because look around you. They’re
the best of the best. And what they
do matters. I need to be an
Avenger. Sir, my girl has kind of
had it with my shtick. And if I
don’t turn things around and do
something with my gifts, I don’t
think it’s really going to work out
for me, and I wouldn’t blame her. *

A beat. Harold consults Wade’s file. *

HAROLD LLOYD *
Avengers are a very unique group of *
superheroes that stand for
something more than just fighting
and wearing costumes.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 10.
6 (CONTINUED) (4) 6
HAROLD LLOYD (CONT’D)
I mean, people look up to us. Kids
look up to us.

WADE
I’m sorry, us? I wasn’t aware that
you were an Avenger...

HAROLD LLOYD
Avengers-adjacent, technically--

WADE
Oh wow, what’s your superpower? Is
it parallel parking? I’m so sorry.
That was cruel. I lash out when I’m
nervous. It won’t happen again.

HAROLD LLOYD
Let’s cut to the chase.

WADE
Please.

HAROLD LLOYD
You just said, moments ago, that
you wanted to be an Avenger because
you need it.

WADE
Yessir, I do.

HAROLD LLOYD
But the Avengers don’t do the job
because they need it. They do the
job because people need them. Do
you see the distinction?

WADE
Yessir. Please, Mr. Lloyd. I don’t
want to spend the rest of my life
like an annoying one trick pony.

HAROLD LLOYD *
Alright. *

Wade listens intently, eyes ablaze with heartache. Harold
stands, suggesting the meeting’s end.

WADE
Oh my god. You’re standing.

HAROLD LLOYD
Yeah, and now’s the time that we *
stand.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 11.
6 (CONTINUED) (5) 6

WADE
Damn it.

HAROLD LLOYD
(walking Wade to the door.
He puts his arm on Wade’s
shoulder)
The problem might be that you’re
reaching a little too high. Aim for
the middle and you’ll never miss,
right? I think you’ve got a good
heart. I believe what you’re
saying. But not everybody’s the
world-saving type. I’m not. But I’m
happy, right? I found my place.
Find your place.

Wade now stands in the open doorway. Crestfallen.

HAROLD LLOYD (CONT’D)
(feels bad for the guy)
Alright, get back out there. We’ll
keep an eye on you. Good luck.

Wade gives Harold a big hug. It lingers a little too long.

WADE
Alright, fetch the car. I want to
hit Shake Shack on the way home.

HAROLD LLOYD *
Really? Really? -- No, no, please. *

Wade pulls out of the hug...

WADE
Okay, thank you.

FADE OUT:

SHUNK. SHUNK. SHUNK. Over BLACK.

WADE (V.O.)
You know what they say. When one
door closes, your locker at work
opens.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Superhero"]

Summary In a cluttered office, Wade Wilson nervously interviews with Harold Lloyd, expressing his desperate desire to join the Avengers to prove his worth and impress his girlfriend. He humorously recounts past experiences, including a quirky reference to 'Smashturbating' at Stark Towers. Harold, skeptical yet sympathetic, questions Wade's motivations and emphasizes the selfless nature of heroism, ultimately advising him to find his own path instead of aiming too high. The scene blends desperation and humor, ending with Wade's mix of disappointment and hope as he leaves for Shake Shack after an overly long hug.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly comedic, potentially undermining emotional moments

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene effectively combines humor, emotion, and character development, providing insight into Deadpool's motivations and desires. The interaction between Deadpool and Harold Lloyd is engaging and adds depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of Deadpool seeking to join the Avengers is intriguing and adds depth to his character. The scene explores themes of self-worth, redemption, and the desire to make a difference.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of Deadpool trying to join the Avengers is engaging and drives the scene forward. It sets up potential future conflicts and character development for Deadpool.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh elements by combining superhero tropes with classic Hollywood references, creating a unique and engaging narrative. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.9

The characters, particularly Deadpool and Harold Lloyd, are well-developed and engaging. Their interactions reveal layers of their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 9

Deadpool undergoes a subtle change in the scene, moving from desperation to determination. His desire to join the Avengers reflects a shift in his goals and motivations.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to prove his worth and find a sense of purpose. Wade wants to show that he can be more than just a jokester and make a meaningful contribution to society.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to become an Avenger, showcasing his desire for recognition and validation from others.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The conflict in the scene is more internal, focusing on Deadpool's struggle to find his place and make a meaningful impact. It sets up potential external conflicts in future scenes.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Harold challenging Wade's beliefs and motivations. The uncertainty of the outcome adds tension and conflict to the interaction.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are moderately high, as Deadpool's desire to join the Avengers represents a significant goal for him. The outcome of the interview could impact his future actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by setting up Deadpool's potential involvement with the Avengers and his quest for redemption. It introduces new conflicts and character dynamics.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in dialogue and character interactions. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the meeting will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the distinction between needing something for personal fulfillment versus being needed by others for a greater purpose. Wade's desire to be an Avenger highlights this conflict.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.8

The scene has a strong emotional impact, particularly in Deadpool's heartfelt plea to join the Avengers. It adds depth to his character and resonates with the audience.

Dialogue: 8.7

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and emotionally resonant. It effectively conveys the characters' personalities and drives the scene's themes.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, drama, and character development. The interactions between Wade and Harold keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue-driven moments and character beats that maintain the audience's interest. The rhythm of the scene enhances its effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and character dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a well-defined structure, with clear character motivations and a progression of events that build towards a resolution. The dialogue and actions flow naturally within the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Deadpool's comedic tone while also revealing his vulnerability and desire for acceptance. However, the humor sometimes overshadows the emotional stakes, making it difficult for the audience to fully connect with Wade's desperation to matter.
  • The dialogue is witty and in line with Deadpool's character, but it could benefit from moments of silence or pauses to allow the weight of Wade's emotional state to resonate more. This would create a stronger contrast between the humor and the serious undertones of his motivations.
  • The introduction of Harold Lloyd as a character is intriguing, but his role could be fleshed out further. As a figure of authority, he should embody a more distinct personality that contrasts with Wade's chaotic nature. This would enhance the dynamic between them and make the stakes of the meeting feel more significant.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed at times, particularly during Wade's emotional revelations. Allowing for more beats in his delivery could enhance the impact of his desire to be an Avenger and the implications of his relationship with his girlfriend.
  • The use of visual elements, such as the calendar and the cluttered desk, is effective in setting the scene, but they could be tied more closely to Wade's emotional journey. For instance, the items on the desk could symbolize Wade's aspirations or failures, adding depth to the setting.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more pauses in Wade's dialogue to emphasize his emotional state and allow the audience to absorb his desperation.
  • Develop Harold Lloyd's character further to create a more distinct contrast with Wade, perhaps by giving him a unique quirk or perspective that challenges Wade's worldview.
  • Consider adding a moment where Wade reflects on his past failures or successes, which could provide context for his desire to join the Avengers and deepen his character arc.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by ensuring that the items in the office reflect Wade's journey, perhaps by including trophies or memorabilia that represent his past experiences.
  • Balance the humor with emotional weight by allowing moments of silence or reflection after Wade's more serious lines, giving the audience time to connect with his struggles.



Scene 6 - Wade 2.0: The Unlikely Salesman
7 INT. DRIVEMAX - LOCKER ROOM - DAY 7

A CHYRON: “EARTH-10005” “NOW.” *

TIGHT on WADE. STAPLE GUN in hand. He is STAPLING a holy-
mother-fucking-shit CHESTNUT TOUPEE onto his bald head in
front of a locker room mirror.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 12.
7 (CONTINUED) 7

The rhythmic SHUNK of the stapler becomes the hooky beat to
George Michael’s “FREEDOM! ‘90” as we see other quick tight
cuts:

A final adjustment of the toupee, the straightening of a
NAMETAG reading ‘WADE,’ the buttoning of the cuffs on a crisp
long sleeve, the cinching of laces on a pair of Skechers
Shape-Ups. The smoothing of merkin eyebrows.

WIDER NOW: It’s Wade 2.0. Final checks in the locker room
mirror. Ready for sales-floor action.

WADE
Now let’s go sell some certified
pre-owned vehicles, motherfuck--
8 INT. KIA CARNIVAL - DAY 8

WADE is now sitting ‘bitch’ in the rear bench seat of a KIA
CARNIVAL MINIVAN. We see only his FACE and scrunched knees in
the rear-view mirror.

Surrounding him in the van is a YOUNG FAMILY, the CHIPMANS -
PARENTS in front taking the van for a test-drive, MR. CHIPMAN
behind the wheel, MRS. CHIPMAN riding shotgun, BOYS (11 and
8) flanking Wade in the back.

WADE
Technically, the Carnival is not
a...
(voice drops out)
...minivan...
(back full volume)
..it’s an ‘MPV.’ So everybody gets *
to keep their testicles. *

MRS. CHIPMAN
So how does the Kia compare to the
Honda Odyssey?

WADE
That’s a great question. Um, it
doesn’t fucking suck.

MRS. CHIPMAN
(’language’)
You know, you can answer the
question without swearing.

WADE
I’m sorry, Tammy! I don’t have
kids. Not that I haven’t dreamt of
that, but I don’t have a lot of
vaginal sex.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 13.
8 (CONTINUED) 8
WADE (CONT’D)
(giving directions) *
Right here at the light, and then *
back onto the lot. *
Genres: ["Comedy","Action"]

Summary In this comedic scene, Wade prepares for his sales shift at a car dealership by humorously attaching a toupee with a staple gun while listening to George Michael's 'Freedom! '90.' He then joins the Chipman family for a test drive in a Kia Carnival minivan, where he awkwardly navigates questions about the vehicle's features and comparisons to the Honda Odyssey. His irreverent humor and lack of parenting experience create tension with Mrs. Chipman, who expects a more professional demeanor. The scene highlights Wade's out-of-place antics amidst the family dynamic, ending with him giving directions to Mr. Chipman.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Character development
  • Unique setting
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Low emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, action, and character development, showcasing Deadpool's unique personality in a new setting.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Deadpool working in a car dealership adds a fresh and humorous twist to his character, showcasing his adaptability and wit.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Deadpool navigates the job interview and test drive, setting up potential conflicts and character dynamics for future scenes.

Originality: 9

The scene features original situations, such as Wade stapling a toupee to his head and using unconventional language during a test-drive. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and fresh.


Character Development

Characters: 9

Deadpool's character is well-developed, maintaining his irreverent and humorous personality while showcasing vulnerability and ambition in a new setting.

Character Changes: 7

Deadpool experiences subtle growth and self-reflection as he navigates his aspirations and current job situation, hinting at potential character development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Wade's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his sense of humor and confidence while interacting with customers, despite his unconventional appearance and behavior.

External Goal: 7

Wade's external goal is to successfully sell a car to the Chipman family during the test-drive.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict is primarily internal for Deadpool, as he navigates his desire to join the Avengers and his current job situation, setting up potential external conflicts in future scenes.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the Chipman family's more traditional and polite behavior, which challenges Wade's irreverent approach to sales.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on Deadpool's personal ambitions and challenges rather than life-threatening situations.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and dynamics for Deadpool, setting up future conflicts and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of Wade's unpredictable behavior and the unexpected humor in his interactions with the Chipman family.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Wade's irreverent and humorous approach to sales and the Chipman family's more traditional and polite demeanor.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6.5

The scene elicits light-hearted and humorous emotions, with moments of vulnerability and ambition from Deadpool adding depth to his character.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is witty, sarcastic, and character-driven, capturing Deadpool's unique voice and humor throughout the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, humorous situations, and dynamic character interactions.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension during the test-drive and delivering comedic moments at the right moments.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with distinct transitions between locations and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a comedic screenplay, with a setup in the locker room and a payoff during the test-drive.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Deadpool's comedic tone and absurdity, particularly through the use of the staple gun and the toupee, which sets a humorous tone for the sales environment. However, the humor could be enhanced by incorporating more visual gags or physical comedy, as Deadpool is known for his slapstick antics.
  • The dialogue is witty and aligns with Deadpool's character, but it could benefit from a stronger setup for the punchlines. For instance, the transition from the toupee application to the Kia Carnival could be smoother, allowing for a more cohesive flow between the two parts of the scene.
  • The introduction of the Chipman family provides a good opportunity for interaction, but their responses feel somewhat flat. Adding more distinct personalities or quirks to the family members could create a more dynamic interaction and enhance the comedic potential of the scene.
  • The use of George Michael's 'Freedom! '90' is a clever choice that complements the theme of Wade's transformation. However, the scene could explore the juxtaposition of the upbeat music with the absurdity of Wade's situation more deeply, perhaps by contrasting the lyrics with his actions or thoughts.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but it could be tightened by reducing some of the exposition. For example, Wade's explanation about the Kia could be more concise, allowing for quicker transitions between jokes and maintaining the audience's engagement.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more physical comedy, such as Wade struggling with the toupee or accidentally stapling himself, to enhance the humor and showcase his clumsiness.
  • Consider adding a brief moment where Wade interacts with the Chipman children, perhaps by making a silly face or engaging in a playful banter, to create a more lively atmosphere.
  • Explore the contrast between the upbeat music and Wade's absurd situation by having him sing along or misinterpret the lyrics in a humorous way, adding depth to the scene.
  • Tighten the dialogue by making Wade's responses to the Chipmans more snappy and punchy, ensuring that each line builds on the previous one for maximum comedic effect.
  • Introduce a running gag throughout the scene, such as Wade's exaggerated descriptions of the vehicles, to create a sense of continuity and further develop his character as a quirky salesman.



Scene 7 - A Suit in the Locker
9 OMITTED (FORMERLY INT. DRIVEMAX - SALES BULLPEN) 9

10 INT. DRIVEMAX - LOCKER ROOM - LATER 10

Wade is changing out of his polo.

PETER (O.C.)
You’ll get ‘em next time.

REVERSE ANGLE to REVEAL: PETER. That’s right. Peter is back.
In all his moustachioed glory.

He wears a polo and wrinkle-free khakis. Peter grabs his
jacket out of his locker.

PETER (CONT’D)
And look, you can always go back to
superheroing. I mean, I know I’d
like to see you back in the suit. I
don’t keep it in my locker so that
I can wear it.

Peter laughs with longing.

PETER (CONT'D) (CONT’D)
I keep it in my locker in case we
need to saddle up again.

We see the Deadpool suit in all its glory. Hanging casually
on a shitty hangar in a locker. Inert. Wade looks at it.
Then:

WADE
Hey, hey hey. What is it doing in
there? I’m done. I’m done, and I’m
fine with being done. Look, is
sales the best match? Probably not.
Is this the life that I always
imagined for myself? Fuck no. But
this is the right fit for me, Sugar
Bear. It is.

PETER
Okay, Mr. Wilson.

WADE
Aim for the middle and you’ll never
miss.
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 14.

11 EXT. CITY STREET - EVENING 11

Peter and Wade bike home.

PETER
I’m just saying... once a month, we
could go on uhhhh little mission.
We’re human beings. We crave
purpose. After all, we’re Deadpool.

WADE
Please, stop saying that. We’re not
Deadpool. I’m not even Deadpool
anymore.

PETER
Well, if you’re gonna have a
midlife crisis... go BIG. A few
years ago, a friend of mine got his
nipples pierced with a titanium
chain that goes down and attaches
to his Van-Johnson.

Peter and Wade dismount from their bikes. As Peter locks the
bikes outside Wade’s building, Wade gets distracted. A weird
feeling coming over him, almost like he’s being watched. He
looks across the street...

PETER (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Are you feeling grumplestilskin
‘cause it’s your birthday?

Across the street Wade sees CONSTRUCTION WORKERS busying
themselves at a SUBWAY ENTRANCE down the block.

WADE
(distracted, something off
here)
What?... No...

Wade can’t put his finger on the feeling, and heads inside
his building.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary In the locker room of Drivemax, Wade changes out of his polo as Peter encourages him to consider returning to superhero work, humorously mentioning the Deadpool suit he keeps in his locker. Wade, however, insists he is content with his life in sales and dismisses Peter's suggestions of occasional missions. As they bike home, Wade feels a strange sensation of being watched by construction workers at a subway entrance, highlighting his internal struggle between his past as Deadpool and his desire for a normal life. The scene ends with Wade feeling uneasy as he heads inside his building.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of humor and action
  • Creative use of visual elements
  • Strong character development
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too chaotic for some viewers
  • Transition between scenes could be smoother

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, action, and character development, maintaining a consistent tone while introducing new challenges for Deadpool. The use of Wolverine's skeleton as weapons adds a creative and unexpected element to the action sequence.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Deadpool grappling with his past as a superhero and adjusting to a new life in sales is engaging and offers opportunities for humor and character development. The introduction of the Time Variance Authority adds a new layer of conflict to the story.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses smoothly, introducing new challenges and conflicts for Deadpool while maintaining a balance between humor and action. The scene sets up future developments while resolving immediate conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the superhero genre by exploring the aftermath of a superhero's retirement and the challenges of finding purpose in a regular life. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, particularly Deadpool and Peter, are well-developed and engaging. Deadpool's internal struggle and humor, combined with Peter's supportive presence, add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Deadpool undergoes internal changes as he grapples with his past and adjusts to a new life, setting the stage for further character development. The introduction of Peter also hints at potential changes in their dynamic.

Internal Goal: 8

Wade's internal goal is to come to terms with his decision to leave superheroing behind and find contentment in his new life. This reflects his deeper need for purpose and identity beyond being a superhero.

External Goal: 7

Wade's external goal is to adjust to his new career in sales and find fulfillment in it. This reflects the immediate challenge of transitioning from superhero to regular person.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Deadpool and the Time Variance Authority, as well as Deadpool's internal struggle with his past, creates tension and drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to challenge Wade's beliefs and decisions, creating tension and uncertainty for the audience.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are moderately high, with Deadpool facing potential consequences from the Time Variance Authority and grappling with his identity and purpose. The scene sets the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, challenges, and character dynamics. It sets up future developments while resolving immediate plot points.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in Wade's internal conflict and the introduction of new challenges in his regular life.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between the desire for adventure and purpose as a superhero and the need for stability and contentment in a regular life. This challenges Wade's beliefs about what defines success and fulfillment.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from humor to sympathy, as Deadpool navigates his conflicting feelings about his past and future. The use of Wolverine's skeleton adds a touch of darkness to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reflective of the characters' personalities. It effectively conveys the tone of the scene and advances the plot and character development.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, nostalgia, and character development. The dialogue and actions keep the audience invested in Wade's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing humor with introspection, keeping the audience engaged and invested in Wade's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the dynamic between Wade and Peter, showcasing their friendship and contrasting perspectives on Wade's current life choices. However, the dialogue could benefit from more distinct character voices to enhance their individuality.
  • Wade's reluctance to return to superheroing is clear, but the emotional stakes could be heightened. Adding a moment of vulnerability where Wade reflects on what he misses about being Deadpool could deepen the audience's connection to his character.
  • The humor in Peter's suggestion about a midlife crisis is amusing, but it feels slightly disconnected from the overall tone of Wade's struggle. A more seamless integration of humor that aligns with Wade's emotional state would create a stronger impact.
  • The scene ends on a note of unease with Wade feeling watched, which is intriguing. However, this feeling could be foreshadowed earlier in the scene to build tension and create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • The visual description of the Deadpool suit hanging in the locker is a strong image, but it could be enhanced by including Wade's physical reaction to it. This would provide a more visceral sense of his internal conflict.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief flashback or a line that hints at Wade's past adventures as Deadpool to remind the audience of what he is giving up, making his current reluctance more poignant.
  • Incorporate more physicality into Wade's performance as he interacts with the suit, perhaps touching it or hesitating before looking away, to visually express his internal struggle.
  • Revise Peter's dialogue to include more specific references to their past missions together, which would reinforce their bond and make Peter's longing for adventure feel more genuine.
  • Strengthen the moment when Wade feels watched by introducing subtle visual cues, such as a shadow or a flicker of movement, to create a sense of foreboding that resonates throughout the scene.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a humorous callback to Wade's previous superhero antics in Peter's dialogue, which could serve to lighten the mood while still addressing Wade's current state of mind.



Scene 8 - A Birthday Masked in Sarcasm
12 INT. WADE’S APARTMENT - HALLWAY - EVENING 12

WADE and PETER walk down the hallway outside Wade’s door.
Wade fiddles with his keys.
13 INT. WADE’S APARTMENT - EVENING 13

Wade opens the door.

EVERYONE
Surprise!

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 15.
13 (CONTINUED) 13

DOPINDER flips on the lights to reveal a CROWD eager to
celebrate Wade’s birthday. His apartment is festooned with
balloons, crepe paper, streamers. Etc.

WADE
Hey! You guys are lucky I’m not
armed.

CHEERS all around. Peter claps Wade on the back. Wade ekes
out a smile for everyone’s benefit but his own.

Wade accepts hugs from around the room: BLIND AL, VANESSA, of
course. DOPINDER. COLOSSUS. BUCK. NTW and YUKIO. SHATTERSTAR.

WADE (CONT’D)
Get in here. If this were five
years ago, you’d all be dead.
14 QUICK CUTS OF: 14

A going-through-the-motions WADE, in full SMALL-TALK MODE
with various friends:

DOPINDER:

DOPINDER
So then he gets out of the cab, and
you would not believe it, I turn
around, and what do I find?

SHATTERSTAR
Airpods.

WADE DOPINDER
His Airpods? Come on. His Airpods.

SHATTERSTAR
Crazy story.

WADE
Every time. Come on.

DOPINDER
Every. Single. Time!

BLIND AL: *

BLIND AL *
Make any sales today? *

WADE *
You know, I didn’t. Did you sell *
any dreamcatchers on ETSY? Or *
whatever it is that you do? *

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 16.
14 (CONTINUED) 14

BLIND AL *
Our rent is due in three days, *
Wade. I can’t keep carrying you. *

WADE *
Relax. I have the money. I sold *
some old blood pressure medication *
I found lying around. *

BLIND AL *
Are you trying to kill me, *
motherfucker? *

WADE *
I’m not the one dousing everything *
in salt, motherfucker. *

BLIND AL *
I pray everyday that fire finds *
your body and finishes the job God *
didn’t have the nuts to do. *

WADE *
That’s hurtful. If you could hear *
the look on my face, you’d smell *
how sad I am. *

BLIND AL *
Whatever. *

COLOSSUS, after a few beats of mutual silence:

WADE
You watching anything good?

COLOSSUS
‘Great British Bake Off.’

WADE
Oh goddamn. That show stood between
me and suicide for ten years.

NTW and YUKIO:

WADE (CONT’D)
Hi Yukio!

YUKIO
Hi Wade!

NTW
Nice fake-o’clock shadow.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 17.
14 (CONTINUED) (2) 14

WADE
It’s a summer balayage. From the
french. It’s meant to mimic the
natural highlights of the sun.

NTW *
It’s a toupée. *

WADE *
It’s a hair system. *

YUKIO
I love your hair system, Wade!

WADE
Thank you.

BACK WITH BLIND AL: *

BLIND AL *
Wanna do some cocaine? *

WADE
Hey! Cocaine is the one thing that
Feige said is off limits.

BLIND AL
What about Bolivian marching
powder?

WADE
They know all the slang terms. They
have a list.

BLIND AL
Even snowballing?

WADE
Even disco dust.

BLIND AL
White girl interrupted?

WADE
Even Forest bump.

BLIND AL
Booger sugar?

WADE
You can’t even say Diego Maradona, *
and he’s a legend. *




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 18.
14 (CONTINUED) (3) 14

BLIND AL
Do you want to build a snowman?

WADE
Yes. But I can’t.

Wade heads off.

Nearby, PETER has lifted his shirt to show off the titanium
chain attached to his nipples.

PETER
Pull here.

YUKIO
Here?

Yukio pulls on the chain.

PETER
Ah.

DOPINDER
What happened?

PETER
That’s the fun part.

VANESSA approaches Wade:

WADE
Thanks for coming.

VANESSA
Yeah.

WADE
How’s work?

VANESSA
Oh, I got a promotion.

WADE
No way.

VANESSA
Yeah. It’s mind numbing middle
management, but I’m happy.

WADE
That’s great. You seeing anyone?

Wade seems to brace himself.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 19.
14 (CONTINUED) (4) 14

VANESSA
Um, yeah. A guy from work. Dermot.

WADE
Dermot?

VANESSA
He’s kind. Likes to go hiking.
Hasn’t gotten me shot yet.

WADE
Well it’s early days.

Vanessa smiles. Wade tries to.

VANESSA
What about you? You seeing anyone?

WADE
No, no. I live in a one bedroom
apartment. I share a bed with Blind
Al.

Wade smiles.

VANESSA
Okay. Alright.
Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary Wade arrives at his apartment to find a surprise birthday party thrown by his friends, complete with decorations and a lively atmosphere. Despite the celebration, Wade struggles with his emotions, particularly when his ex-girlfriend Vanessa reveals she has a new boyfriend. Engaging in humorous banter with friends like Dopinder, Blind Al, and Colossus, Wade attempts to mask his discomfort and loneliness with sarcasm. The scene captures the contrast between the festive setting and Wade's internal conflict, culminating in an awkward moment with Vanessa that underscores his feelings of isolation.
Strengths
  • Witty dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances humor and emotion, providing insight into Wade's relationships and inner struggles while maintaining an entertaining tone.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a birthday celebration as a backdrop for exploring Wade's personal life and relationships is engaging and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot revolves around Wade's interactions with friends during his birthday celebration, providing insights into his past, present, and relationships.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and unexpected elements through its witty dialogue, unique character interactions, and dark humor. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and dynamics that drive the scene forward and add depth to the story.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it provides insights into Wade's relationships and emotional state, setting the stage for potential growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain a facade of happiness and engagement with his friends, despite feeling disconnected and lonely. This reflects his deeper fear of being alone and his desire for genuine connection.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate social interactions and maintain appearances at his birthday party. This reflects the immediate challenge of balancing his personal struggles with social expectations.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Wade's personal struggles and relationships rather than external challenges.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters challenging each other's beliefs, values, and relationships. The audience is left unsure of how the conflicts will unfold, adding suspense and intrigue.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on personal relationships and introspection rather than high-stakes conflicts.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of Wade's character and relationships, setting up potential developments in future scenes.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in dialogue, dark humor, and character dynamics. The audience is kept on their toes by the characters' surprising reactions and interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in the scene between Wade's sarcastic, self-deprecating humor and Blind Al's harsh, confrontational attitude. This challenges Wade's beliefs about his own worth and relationships.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to bittersweet moments, creating a compelling and engaging atmosphere.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and revealing, showcasing the relationships between characters and adding depth to their interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, dynamic character interactions, and underlying emotional tension. The quick exchanges and humorous moments keep the audience invested in the characters and their relationships.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining audience interest. The rhythm of dialogue and character interactions keeps the scene engaging and dynamic.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to standard screenplay format, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. It is easy to follow and understand.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a typical structure for a character-driven, dialogue-heavy scene in a screenplay. It effectively introduces the setting, characters, and conflicts while maintaining a natural flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and humorous essence of Deadpool's world, showcasing his relationships with various characters. However, the dialogue can feel a bit overwhelming due to the rapid-fire exchanges, which may detract from character development. While the humor is on point, it risks overshadowing the emotional undertones of Wade's birthday and his complicated feelings about Vanessa's new relationship.
  • Wade's forced smile and the contrast between the festive atmosphere and his internal struggle are well-established, but this emotional conflict could be explored more deeply. The scene hints at Wade's discomfort with Vanessa's new boyfriend, Dermot, but it doesn't fully delve into his feelings of inadequacy or jealousy, which could add depth to his character.
  • The pacing of the scene is brisk, which works for the comedic tone, but it may benefit from moments of stillness or reflection. Allowing Wade a brief pause to process his emotions could enhance the impact of his interactions, particularly with Vanessa. This would create a stronger emotional resonance amidst the humor.
  • The use of quick cuts to showcase Wade's interactions with different characters is a clever technique, but it can also lead to a disjointed feeling. Each interaction could be given a bit more space to breathe, allowing the audience to connect with the characters and their dynamics more fully.
  • The dialogue is witty and filled with Deadpool's signature humor, but some lines may come off as forced or overly reliant on pop culture references. Striking a balance between humor and authenticity in character voices will make the dialogue feel more organic and relatable.
Suggestions
  • Consider slowing down the pacing in certain moments to allow for deeper emotional exploration, particularly in Wade's interactions with Vanessa. A brief moment of vulnerability could enhance the scene's emotional weight.
  • Expand on Wade's internal conflict regarding Vanessa's new boyfriend. A few lines of introspection or a humorous yet poignant comment could provide insight into his feelings and make the audience empathize with him more.
  • While the quick cuts are effective for humor, try to give each character interaction a bit more time. This could involve extending certain exchanges or adding brief reactions from Wade that reflect his emotional state.
  • Review the dialogue for moments that may feel forced or overly reliant on references. Aim for a balance that maintains Deadpool's humor while ensuring the dialogue feels natural and true to the characters.
  • Incorporate visual storytelling elements that reflect Wade's emotional state, such as his body language or facial expressions, to complement the dialogue and enhance the overall impact of the scene.



Scene 9 - A Heartfelt Birthday Celebration
15 INT. WADE’S APARTMENT - DINING ROOM - EVENING 15

EVERYONE gathered around a CANDLELIT BIRTHDAY CAKE. In the
middle of the cake sits a SMALL PHOTOGRAPH on a mini plastic
easel. The picture shows ALL OF WADE’S FRIENDS, smiling.

EVERYONE
--Happy birthday to you!
Speech! Speech! Speech!

Wade quiets the room. It is filled with LOVE.

WADE
Okay, okay, okay. Birthdays. Boy,
every spin around the moon is a new
adventure indeed--

BLIND AL
Sun, dumbass.

WADE
OK, round-earther. Where was I? *

COLOSSUS *
The adventure of life. *
*


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 20.
15 (CONTINUED) 15
COLOSSUS (CONT’D)
Right. It’s been a challenging few *
years, for sure. I’ve been through
a lot. A change of life.

BUCK
Andropause?

WADE
Bitch, are you improv’ing?!
(then, to Yukio)
I’m sorry that you had to see that,
Yukio.

YUKIO
It’s okay.

WADE
But I’m happy. And that’s because
of each and every one of you... *

Quick cut to Shatterstar who mumbles a WTF.

WADE (CONT’D) *
And this is about how proud I am. *
How grateful I am to be standing in
a room with every single person I
love.

Wade makes eye contact with Vanessa. Pushes on...

WADE (CONT’D)
I’m the luckiest man alive.

VANESSA
Make a wish, buddy.

WADE
Ten-four good buddy. Going down.

Wade takes the little easel and photo off the top of the cake
as he prepares to blow out the candles. We rack focus past
the candles to Wade’s smiling face. The flames light his
eyes.

Wade blows out the candles. Over BLACK. SUDDENLY:

A KNOCK AT THE DOOR. Wade sighs.
Genres: ["Comedy","Drama"]

Summary In Wade's candlelit apartment, friends gather to celebrate his birthday. Wade delivers a heartfelt speech expressing gratitude for his friends and love for Vanessa, while humorous banter ensues, featuring Blind Al's quips and Buck's jokes. The atmosphere is warm and celebratory, culminating in Wade feeling like the luckiest man alive as he prepares to blow out the candles on his cake. The moment is interrupted by a knock at the door, adding an unexpected twist to the joyful gathering.
Strengths
  • Witty dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Subtle conflict
  • Low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances humor and emotion, providing insight into Wade's character and relationships while moving the story forward with the introduction of a new conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a birthday celebration as a backdrop for introspection and character growth is well-executed. The scene effectively explores themes of gratitude, friendship, and personal growth.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Wade reflects on his past challenges and relationships, setting up potential conflicts and character arcs. The introduction of a knock at the door adds intrigue and sets up a new development.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a familiar birthday celebration setting but adds originality through the characters' interactions, humor, and emotional depth. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue enhances the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with each contributing to the scene's emotional depth and humor. Wade's introspective speech and interactions with his friends reveal layers to his personality, while Vanessa's presence adds tension and complexity.

Character Changes: 7

Wade undergoes a subtle change as he reflects on his past challenges and expresses gratitude for his friends. The scene sets up potential growth and conflicts for the character, hinting at future developments.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to express his gratitude and love for his friends, reflecting his deeper need for connection and belonging.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to blow out the candles on his birthday cake and make a wish, reflecting the immediate circumstances of celebrating his birthday.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is a subtle conflict introduced with the knock at the door, the scene primarily focuses on introspection and character development. The conflict serves as a potential catalyst for future events.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is not strong, as the conflict is mainly internal and resolved through the protagonist's speech.

High Stakes: 5

While the scene is emotionally impactful and sets up potential conflicts, the stakes are relatively low in this moment. The focus is on character development and relationships rather than high-stakes action.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the relationships between the characters, introducing potential conflicts, and setting up future developments. The knock at the door adds intrigue and sets the stage for new events.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat predictable in its setting and character interactions, but the unexpected knock at the door adds a twist.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Wade's humorous and light-hearted approach to life and the challenges he has faced, as seen in the banter with his friends.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a strong emotional impact, as Wade expresses gratitude and reflects on his relationships with his friends. The heartfelt moments are balanced with humor, creating a poignant and memorable scene.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is witty, heartfelt, and reflective, capturing the essence of each character's personality. The banter between Wade and his friends adds humor, while his speech conveys gratitude and introspection.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth, humor, and relatable interactions between characters. The audience is drawn into the intimate birthday celebration.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and emotion, leading up to the unexpected knock at the door.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected format for a birthday celebration scene, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the warmth and camaraderie among Wade and his friends, which is essential for establishing emotional stakes. However, the humor feels slightly forced at times, particularly with the 'andropause' joke, which may detract from the heartfelt tone that Wade is trying to convey. The balance between humor and sincerity is crucial in a scene like this, and it might benefit from a more organic flow of dialogue.
  • Wade's speech is a nice moment of vulnerability, but it could be enhanced by incorporating more specific anecdotes or memories that highlight his relationships with each character present. This would deepen the emotional impact and make the audience feel more connected to the characters and their shared history.
  • The quick cut to Shatterstar's reaction is a clever comedic touch, but it could be more impactful if it were set up earlier in the scene. Establishing Shatterstar's character and his relationship with Wade beforehand would make his confusion more relatable and humorous.
  • The transition from Wade's heartfelt speech to the knock at the door feels abrupt. While it creates a sense of anticipation, it might be more effective to build up to the interruption by foreshadowing it earlier in the scene, perhaps through a character's comment or a visual cue that hints at an impending disruption.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a few more personal anecdotes or specific references to past adventures with his friends during Wade's speech to create a stronger emotional connection.
  • Try to maintain a balance between humor and sincerity by ensuring that jokes feel natural and relevant to the moment, rather than inserted for comedic effect.
  • Introduce Shatterstar earlier in the scene or provide a brief moment that establishes his character, so his reaction feels more integrated into the overall narrative.
  • Foreshadow the knock at the door by incorporating subtle hints earlier in the scene, such as a character glancing at the door or a comment about unexpected guests, to create a smoother transition.



Scene 10 - Time-Traveling Tangles
16 INT. WADE’S APARTMENT - HALLWAY - NIGHT 16

WADE opens the door onto his apartment hallway...

UNMASKED MINUTEMAN
Wade Wilson?

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 21.
16 (CONTINUED) 16

WADE
(raised eyebrow)
Oh, yeah. The answer’s Dopinder
must have ordered you.

...revealing THREE of the imposing MINUTEMEN we met at
Logan’s grave.

WADE (CONT’D)
Are those supposed to be cop
costumes? Never mind. Take your
clothes off, but leave the helmets,
and this isn’t Pretty Woman.
(takes a mint)
We’re kissing, alright. Which song
do you guys normally dance to?

Wade looks back into the room to make sure nobody can hear
him. The MINUTEMAN in the middle raises one of those
ubiquitous ‘Timesticks’...

WADE (CONT’D)
Whoa, whoa. Is that supposed to be
scary? Pegging isn’t new for me,
friendo.
(winks)
But it is for Disney.

The MINUTEMEN take a step toward Wade.

WADE (CONT’D)
Ah-ta-ta... look, I’ve never been a
natural bottom so we’re going to
take things real slow and I want
some crazy eye contact. Not you.
(pointing)
You. I can’t see your eyes through
the mask, but I can feel them.
We’re going to move on down the
hallway so we can spare a cleanup
on aisle asshole. How does everyone
feel about this plan?

UNMASKED MINUTEMAN
I don’t like you.

WADE
Yes. Let’s hold onto that attitude
and we’re going to do it angry.

...a time door opens up behind Wade and a disembodied
Minuteman arm yanks Wade back and through a shimmering time
door, vanishing.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 22.
16 (CONTINUED) (2) 16

His toupée lands on the floor where he just stood.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Wade Wilson humorously confronts three Minutemen at his apartment door, using sarcasm to defuse the tension. As he jokes about their costumes and absurd scenarios, a time door suddenly opens behind him, and a disembodied Minuteman arm pulls him through, leaving his toupee behind.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Humorous tone
  • Dynamic action sequences
Weaknesses
  • Slightly over-the-top confrontation

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, action, and sci-fi elements, maintaining a consistent tone throughout. The dialogue is sharp and witty, keeping the audience engaged. However, some may find the confrontation slightly over-the-top.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Deadpool facing off against the Minutemen in a time-travel scenario is innovative and engaging. It adds a new dimension to the character's adventures and opens up exciting possibilities for the plot.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses smoothly, introducing a new conflict for Deadpool to navigate. The scene sets up future developments while providing entertaining action and character dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to a tense situation by infusing it with humor and unexpected dialogue, creating an authentic and engaging interaction between characters.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Deadpool, shine in this scene with their distinct personalities and witty dialogue. The interactions between Wade and the Minutemen are entertaining and showcase the strengths of each character.

Character Changes: 7

While there is no significant character development in this scene, Deadpool's defiance and wit are consistent with his established personality. The interaction with the Minutemen showcases his rebellious nature.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his composure and wit in the face of danger, showcasing his quick thinking and humor as coping mechanisms.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to evade capture or harm from the Minutemen who have entered his apartment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Deadpool and the Minutemen is intense and confrontational, adding excitement to the scene. The use of time travel enhances the conflict and raises the stakes for the characters.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the Minutemen posing a threat to the protagonist and creating uncertainty about the outcome.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high in this scene, as Deadpool faces off against the powerful Minutemen in a time-travel confrontation. The outcome could have significant consequences for the character.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict and setting up future events. It adds layers to Deadpool's journey and hints at larger challenges to come.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected dialogue and actions of the characters, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's humorous and irreverent attitude towards danger and the seriousness of the Minutemen's intentions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene focuses more on humor and action than emotional depth. While there are moments of tension and defiance, the emotional impact is not as pronounced.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and full of humor, capturing the essence of Deadpool's character. The banter between Wade and the Minutemen adds depth to the scene and keeps the audience engaged.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, action, and unexpected twists that keep the audience entertained and invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and humor, with a rhythmic flow that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with dialogue and action sequences that build tension and humor effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Wade's irreverent humor and playful banter, which is a hallmark of his character. However, the humor may come off as excessive or forced in places, particularly with the sexual innuendos. While Deadpool's character is known for his raunchy jokes, balancing the humor with the tension of the situation could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The introduction of the Minutemen is intriguing, but their characterization feels somewhat flat. They serve primarily as a backdrop for Wade's jokes rather than as fully realized characters. Adding a line or two that gives them a distinct personality or reaction to Wade's antics could create a more dynamic interaction.
  • Wade's dialogue is clever, but it risks overshadowing the urgency of the situation. The Minutemen are there to apprehend him, yet the tone remains light and comedic. This could undermine the stakes of the scene. Consider incorporating moments where the Minutemen assert their authority or express frustration with Wade's antics to create a more balanced dynamic.
  • The physicality of the scene is minimal, primarily relying on dialogue. Incorporating more visual gags or physical comedy could enhance the humor and keep the audience engaged. For example, Wade could fumble with his toupee or make exaggerated gestures that contrast with the Minutemen's serious demeanor.
  • The abrupt ending with Wade being pulled through the time door is effective in creating a cliffhanger, but it could benefit from a stronger emotional or comedic punch. Perhaps a final quip from Wade as he is pulled away could leave the audience laughing while also feeling the tension of his predicament.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to maintain the comedic tone while ensuring it doesn't detract from the urgency of the Minutemen's presence. A few well-placed pauses or reactions from the Minutemen could enhance the tension.
  • Add more characterization to the Minutemen. Perhaps one of them could have a sarcastic retort to Wade's jokes, creating a back-and-forth that adds depth to their roles.
  • Incorporate physical comedy elements, such as Wade's exaggerated reactions or clumsy movements, to complement the dialogue and enhance the humor.
  • Include a moment where the Minutemen assert their authority, perhaps by threatening Wade or showing their frustration with his antics, to create a more balanced power dynamic.
  • End the scene with a memorable quip from Wade as he is pulled through the time door, ensuring it resonates with the audience and leaves them wanting more.



Scene 11 - Awakening in the TVA
17 INT. TVA - ASSESSMENT ROOM - LATER 17

WADE sits in a chair at a table in the center of a big, dark
room. He is slumped over, FOREHEAD on the surface of the
table. The staples remain in his skull with tiny remnant
patches of hair connected to them. Suddenly, he AWAKENS,
gasps, and sits straight up. He finds himself ACROSS FROM:

...a very dapper MAN in a perfectly tailored suit, sitting on
the other side of the table.

This is MR. PARADOX. He looks all business but speaks like a
super chill yoga instructor.

Wade looks around, disoriented. He spies the room.

MR. PARADOX
Mr. Wilson. You appear to have
soiled yourself while unconscious.

WADE
I wasn’t unconscious. Who are you?

MR. PARADOX
I go by the name of Paradox. Mr. *
Paradox. And you’re sitting here at
the TVA. The Time Variance
Authority. We’re really a watchdog
organization, except we’re more
lighthearted than that sounds. With
a sort of throwback ironic twist.
And we’re in charge of defending
what’s known as the ‘Sacred
Timeline.’

WADE
That is a shit-ton of exposition
for a threequel. Is this because I
used Cable’s time machine? I *
brought a couple of people back to *
life. Then I destroyed it. That was *
a long time ago...

MR. PARADOX
Yes, we’re aware of your abuse of
your timeline. And you were so
abusive of it. And no, it has
nothing to do with that. Walk with
me.
18 OMITTED (FORMERLY INT. TVA - CORRIDOR) 18
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 23.

19 OMITTED (FORMERLY INT. TVA - ELEVATOR) 19
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Wade awakens disoriented in a dark assessment room, facing Mr. Paradox, a representative of the Time Variance Authority. As Wade questions his identity and the implications of his past time travel actions, Mr. Paradox calmly explains the concept of the 'Sacred Timeline' and reassures him that his current situation is unrelated to his past. The scene is marked by Wade's confusion and sarcastic remarks, contrasting with Mr. Paradox's polished demeanor. It ends with Mr. Paradox inviting Wade to walk with him, hinting at a transition to another part of the TVA.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Introduction of new concept (TVA)
  • Character development for Wade
Weaknesses
  • Lack of emotional depth
  • Limited character interaction beyond Wade and Mr. Paradox

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-written with a good balance of humor, exposition, and character interaction. It introduces new elements to the story while maintaining the tone of the Deadpool franchise.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the Time Variance Authority adds depth to the story and opens up new possibilities for the plot. It introduces a new layer of complexity to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through the introduction of the TVA and Wade's interaction with Mr. Paradox. It sets up future conflicts and developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh concepts like the TVA and the 'Sacred Timeline,' while also subverting expectations with the character of Mr. Paradox and his unconventional approach to exposition. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, contributing to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Wade and Mr. Paradox, are well-developed in this scene. Their personalities shine through in their dialogue and actions.

Character Changes: 7

Wade's encounter with the TVA introduces a new challenge and perspective, leading to potential growth and change in his character.

Internal Goal: 8

Wade's internal goal in this scene is to understand his current situation and the role of the TVA in his life. This reflects his deeper need for clarity and control in a world where time travel and timelines are at play.

External Goal: 7

Wade's external goal is to navigate the consequences of his actions involving time travel and the destruction of Cable's time machine. He is trying to understand why he is at the TVA and what they want from him.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is tension between Wade and the TVA, the conflict is more comedic and lighthearted than intense.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to challenge Wade's beliefs and actions, but not overwhelming to the point of predictability. Mr. Paradox presents a formidable obstacle for Wade to overcome, adding tension and conflict to the scene.

High Stakes: 6

While the stakes are raised with Wade's encounter with the TVA, the tone remains light and comedic.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new element (TVA) and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in dialogue, the introduction of new concepts like the TVA, and the mysterious nature of Mr. Paradox. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the concept of free will versus fate. Wade's actions have disrupted the 'Sacred Timeline,' raising questions about the consequences of individual choices on the larger timeline.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene focuses more on humor and exposition than emotional depth, but there are hints of vulnerability in Wade's interactions.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, sharp, and entertaining. It captures the essence of the Deadpool franchise with its humor and irreverence.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, intriguing premise, and dynamic character interactions. The audience is drawn into the mystery of the TVA and Wade's role in the larger narrative.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of exposition, character development, and plot progression. The rhythm of the dialogue and scene transitions keeps the audience engaged and maintains a sense of momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. It is easy to follow and visually engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character introductions, dialogue exchanges, and scene transitions. It effectively sets up the premise of the story and establishes the conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of disorientation for Wade, which is crucial given the circumstances of his arrival at the TVA. However, the pacing feels slightly rushed. The transition from Wade's confusion to Mr. Paradox's exposition could benefit from a more gradual build-up, allowing the audience to absorb Wade's bewilderment before diving into the details of the TVA.
  • Mr. Paradox's character is intriguing, but his dialogue could be more distinct. While the contrast between his calm demeanor and the chaotic nature of Wade is a good start, adding more unique quirks or mannerisms could make him more memorable. As it stands, he feels somewhat generic as a bureaucratic figure.
  • Wade's humor is a strong point, but the jokes about 'soiling himself' and the 'shit-ton of exposition' come off as slightly forced. They could be more organic to the situation. Consider having Wade's humor reflect his vulnerability rather than just being a defense mechanism. This would deepen his character while still maintaining the comedic tone.
  • The exposition provided by Mr. Paradox is essential for the audience's understanding, but it could be streamlined. Some of the details about the TVA and the 'Sacred Timeline' could be woven into the dialogue more naturally, perhaps through Wade's questions or reactions, rather than a straightforward explanation.
  • The visual description of the room is minimal. Adding more sensory details about the TVA assessment room could enhance the atmosphere. For example, describing the lighting, sounds, or even the smell could help ground the audience in the setting and reflect the bureaucratic nature of the TVA.
Suggestions
  • Consider extending the initial moments of Wade's disorientation to build tension and allow for a more impactful reveal of Mr. Paradox.
  • Give Mr. Paradox a few unique traits or catchphrases that set him apart from typical bureaucratic characters, making him more engaging.
  • Refine Wade's humor to reflect his emotional state more deeply, perhaps by incorporating self-deprecating humor that reveals his vulnerability.
  • Streamline the exposition by integrating it into a back-and-forth dialogue, allowing Wade's questions to guide the information flow.
  • Enhance the visual description of the TVA assessment room to create a more immersive experience for the audience, using sensory details to evoke the setting's mood.



Scene 12 - Wade's Marvelous Awakening
20 INT. TVA - COMMAND CENTER - CONTINUOUS 20

Elevator doors open and we reveal: A sprawling room of
systems and the incomprehensible management of
incomprehensibly important things. We sure as hell didn’t see
THIS room on LOKI.

The expansive room is split by an elevated PIER-like
structure on which Mr. Paradox and Wade stand. A BAY OF
MONITORS flood the south wall, on which we see various shots
of the toupéed WADE going in and out of his APARTMENT. Coming
home from work. SMOKING cigarettes with PETER. A mountain of
footage. They’ve been watching him for a long time.

WADE
Wow.

MR. PARADOX
(nods)
I brought you here, Mr. Wilson, to
tell you that you’re special. In
fact, you’ve been chosen. For a
higher purpose. A purpose unclear
even to me, but one that could save
the entire Sacred Timeline from a
possibly grisly fate sometime in
the future, which may very well
need to be AVENGED.

Wade is hanging on every word.

WADE
This Sacred Timeline. I assume I’m
going to marvel at how cinematic it
feels? Gratuitous cameos?
Indiscriminate use of variants? The
whole package?

MR. PARADOX
(with meaning)
You tell me.

Mr. Paradox waves to monitors filled with incredible scenes
from classic MCU movies. Iron Man faces Iron Monger in Iron
Man. Hawkeye drops Natasha to her death in Endgame. The
airport battle from Civil War.

And right there in the middle of the action, kicking an
unholy amount of ass, is CAPTAIN AMERICA himself. Fighting
WINTER SOLDIER. Beating the shit out of IRON MAN, etc.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 24.
20 (CONTINUED) 20

WADE
Cap!

A tear falls down Wade’s cheek. He can’t help but SALUTE.

MR. PARADOX
You’re no longer lost, Wade... You
can be a hero among heroes. We’ve *
been surveilling you for quite a
while.

WADE
The subway station.

MR. PARADOX
The TVA outpost, yes.

WADE
And what is that?

We see a quick image from the future. THOR cradles DEADPOOL’S
broken and battered body. Thor holds back tears.

WADE (CONT’D)
Is that me? Is that Thor? Is he
crying?

Mr. Paradox quickly changes the channel.

MR. PARADOX
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
That happens in the distant future. *

WADE
(to a TVA employee)
Why is Thor crying? Quick. Tell me.

MR. PARADOX *
Do not look at her. Stop that. Eyes *
on me. I brought you here to offer *
you an opportunity. The opportunity
you sought years ago but for which
you were not ready. We believe
you’re ready now. Ready for a
chance to leave your timeline. And
join the greatest universe of all.
I’m about to give you the thing
you’ve always wanted.

WADE
I smell what you’re stepping in.
(like the Rock)



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 25.
20 (CONTINUED) (2) 20
WADE (CONT’D)
The hierarchy of power in the
Marvel Universe is about to change
forever. I’m the messiah. I. Am...
Marvel. Jesus.
(humbly)
Can you excuse me for just a sec?

Mr. Paradox nods. Of course.

Wade walks away a few feet. Turns to camera. Grabs it by the
matte box. Reaches up outta frame and yanks THE BOOM MIC INTO
FRAME.

WADE (CONT’D)
Suck it, Fox. I’m going to
Disneyland. Get fuuuuucked.

Wade HEAD-BUTTS THE LENS, CRACKING THE GLASS. We have
literally BROKEN THE FOURTH WALL.

Wade skips back to Mr. Paradox.

WADE (CONT’D)
Where do I sign?

MR. PARADOX
Oh there’s no need for paperwork.

WADE
Good. Not to brag, but I do not
read. There is one thing I will
need though.

SMASH CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In the TVA Command Center, Mr. Paradox reveals to Wade that he has been chosen for a higher purpose that could save the Sacred Timeline. As they watch footage of Wade's life and iconic MCU moments, Wade is deeply moved, especially by Captain America. Mr. Paradox offers him a chance to join the Marvel Universe, prompting Wade to humorously declare himself a messiah figure. Breaking the fourth wall, he makes a comedic remark about Disneyland before eagerly expressing his desire to sign up for this new adventure.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Seamless integration of Deadpool into the MCU
  • Engaging character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potential overreliance on humor
  • Limited exploration of emotional depth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly entertaining, blending action, comedy, and sci-fi elements seamlessly. The incorporation of the TVA and the MCU adds depth and excitement to the narrative, while Deadpool's humor and sarcasm keep the audience engaged. The scene is well-paced and filled with memorable moments.


Story Content

Concept: 9.3

The concept of merging Deadpool with the MCU through the TVA is innovative and exciting. The scene introduces new possibilities for storytelling and character interactions, setting the stage for future developments in the narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is engaging, with Deadpool being offered a chance to join the MCU and potentially save the Sacred Timeline. The introduction of high stakes and the promise of a new role for Deadpool in the universe drive the narrative forward and keep the audience intrigued.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the superhero genre by incorporating meta elements and humor, making it stand out from traditional superhero narratives.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters in the scene, particularly Deadpool and Mr. Paradox, are well-developed and engaging. Deadpool's humor and sarcasm shine through, while Mr. Paradox adds a mysterious and authoritative presence. The interactions between the characters drive the scene forward and set up future dynamics.

Character Changes: 9

Deadpool undergoes a significant character change in the scene, transitioning from a reluctant bystander to a potential hero in the MCU. His internal conflict and decision to embrace a new role mark a pivotal moment in his character arc, setting up future growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to find purpose and validation, as he is told he has been chosen for a higher purpose that could save the timeline.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to join the greatest universe of all and leave his timeline behind.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Deadpool grapples with the decision to join the MCU and potentially alter the timeline. The tension between his desire for redemption and his reluctance to leave his current life creates a compelling conflict that drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds conflict and challenges the protagonist's beliefs and desires, creating a sense of uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, as Deadpool is presented with a chance to save the Sacred Timeline and potentially alter the course of the universe. The decision he faces could have far-reaching consequences, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, introducing key plot points, character dynamics, and potential conflicts. Deadpool's offer to join the MCU and the revelation of the Sacred Timeline's importance set the stage for future events and developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists and turns in the protagonist's journey, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the protagonist's sense of self-worth and his desire to be a hero among heroes.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, with moments of humor, nostalgia, and intrigue resonating with the audience. Deadpool's emotional journey and the promise of a new role in the MCU evoke a range of feelings, setting the stage for future developments.

Dialogue: 9.4

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and engaging. Deadpool's quips and one-liners add to the comedic tone, while Mr. Paradox's cryptic statements create intrigue. The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' personalities and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, action, and mystery, keeping the audience intrigued and entertained.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment that propels the story forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay in the superhero genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a genre that blends action and humor, effectively balancing dialogue and action sequences.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Wade's humor and irreverence, which is a hallmark of his character. The dialogue is sharp and witty, particularly Wade's interactions with Mr. Paradox, which maintain the comedic tone while also advancing the plot.
  • The use of visual elements, such as the monitors displaying iconic MCU moments, serves to ground Wade's character in the larger Marvel universe. This not only adds depth to the scene but also creates a sense of nostalgia for the audience, enhancing the emotional impact when Wade reacts to Captain America.
  • Wade's emotional response to the footage of Captain America is a strong moment that humanizes him, contrasting with his usual comedic bravado. This blend of humor and vulnerability is well-executed and adds layers to his character.
  • The fourth wall break is a classic Deadpool move and is executed well here. However, it might benefit from a slightly more seamless integration into the narrative. The transition from Wade's serious moment to the comedic fourth wall break feels a bit abrupt, which could disrupt the flow of the scene.
  • Mr. Paradox's character is intriguing, but his motivations could be clearer. While he presents Wade with an opportunity, the stakes and implications of this choice could be more explicitly defined to heighten the tension and urgency of the moment.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but there are moments where it feels slightly rushed, particularly when transitioning between Wade's emotional reactions and the exposition provided by Mr. Paradox. Allowing for a brief pause after key emotional beats could enhance the impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or reflection after Wade reacts to the footage of Captain America before transitioning to the fourth wall break. This could help maintain the emotional weight of the scene.
  • Clarify Mr. Paradox's motivations and the stakes involved in Wade's potential journey. This could be done through more explicit dialogue or visual cues that indicate the gravity of the situation.
  • Explore the dynamic between Wade and Mr. Paradox further. Perhaps include a moment where Wade questions Mr. Paradox's authority or intentions, adding an extra layer of conflict and tension.
  • Ensure that the pacing allows for comedic beats to breathe. This could involve slightly elongating certain exchanges or reactions to give the audience time to absorb the humor and emotional weight.
  • Consider incorporating more visual gags or physical comedy during Wade's interactions with Mr. Paradox to enhance the comedic tone and keep the audience engaged.



Scene 13 - Deadpool's Dilemma: A Fashionable Escape
21 INT. TVA - FITTING ROOM - MONTAGE 21

Wade throws open the fitting room doors.

WADE
Oh fuck off! Adorn me, beardo!

MUSIC UP as we begin a short, punchy MONTAGE that recalls the
DriveMax suit-up: WADE gears up in a new DEADPOOL SUIT! CLOSE
UPS build in tempo and intensity--

CUT TO:
22 INT. TVA - COMMAND CENTER - DAY 22

Elevator doors open and REVEAL:




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 26.
22 (CONTINUED) 22

DEADPOOL, in the baddest-ass, cleanest, brightest, Avengers-
style Deadpool outfit ever. He struts down the catwalk like a
Victoria Secret Angel.

DEADPOOL
Fuckin’ A! It’s perfect. FYI your *
tailor is a predator but I love it.
Snug, no camel toe. New car smell.
And Adamantium katanas? You
shouldn’t have.

Deadpool arrives at Mr. Paradox, does a little turn, then
seductively leans against a desk.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Go ahead. Take it in. And yes, your
underwear is getting tighter.
(pointing to a random
agent below)
That guy knows what I’m talking
about. His clothes say middle *
management, but his eyes say ‘fucky- *
fucky.’ *

The AGENT below awkwardly sips from an ‘I LIKE ME’ mug... and
then picks up the PHONE on his desk.

MR. PARADOX
Yes. You look very nice.

DEADPOOL
Nice?! Your buddy here is ready to
throw it all away for me. You
calling your wife?

TVA BUREAUCRAT
H.R.

DEADPOOL
Does your wife work in H.R.?

MR. PARADOX
I’m really glad you’re taking this
so well!

DEADPOOL
Oh, I’m taking it well. I’ve never
had a problem traveling for work.
That said, we should talk vacation
days. I’m more of a one-week-on,
one-week-off kind of guy. I think
that’s what they do in Denmark.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 27.
22 (CONTINUED) (2) 22
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
You’ll never see a Danish flag on
the moon but goddammit they’re
happy. Now, let’s power up your
little amazon fire phone there and
zip me back home so I can let my
friends know that they’ve been
upgraded to disciples.

The TVA agents look to Mr. Paradox. Does this guy not get it?

MR. PARADOX
Yeah, I don’t think you quite
understand. You will not be
returning to your home because
there will be no home to return to.

DEADPOOL
Come again? This time, in my ears?

Mr. Paradox turns to the MONITOR BAY, motions to a
technician, and a DAZZLING GRAPHICAL REPRESENTATION of the
FOX UNIVERSE comes up.

MR. PARADOX
This is your universe, Mr. Wilson.

The image zooms into a dark, sickly DEAD ZONE in the TANGLED
THREADS OF REALITY. As they watch, DECAY from the dead zone
spreads to the healthy threads around it.

MR. PARADOX (CONT’D)
That is what happens when a
universe loses their “Anchor
Being.” See how it decays from the
inside? This is how a reality dies.

DEADPOOL
What’s an “Anchor Being?”

MR. PARADOX
An Anchor Being is an entity of
such vital importance that when
they die, their whole world slowly
withers out of existence.

DEADPOOL
You’ve just won the lottery because
I didn’t die, it’s just a little
mid-life crisis. I’m better now.

MR. PARADOX
(stifles a laugh)
Oh my god... Can you imagine if you
were the Anchor Being? HA! No.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 28.
22 (CONTINUED) (3) 22
MR. PARADOX (CONT’D)
It isn’t you, Mr. Wilson. Your
Anchor Being died in an act of self-
sacrifice so epic that it sent
shivers down the timeline. *

Mr. Paradox looks at Deadpool as if he should know.

MR. PARADOX (CONT’D) *
I am referring of course to Logan. *
The Wolverine.

A chill falls over the room. Mr. Paradox brings Wade’s
attention to a monitor, where we watch the death of Logan
from Logan (2017) play out on screen.

LOGAN *
Don’t be what they made you. *

Mr. Paradox mouths the words. *

MR. PARADOX *
(mouthing words) *
So this is what it feels like. *

DEADPOOL
Logan? Of course. Logan. LOGAN?!
The guy with... forks for hands?
That Wolverine?!

The gravity of the situation is starting to dawn on Deadpool.
He turns to the monitor frantically, scanning the spreading
decay.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Yeah, I got it. You can turn it
off. Make it stop.

MR. PARADOX
We’re not doing it, Mr. Wilson. We
certainly can’t stop it.

DEADPOOL
How long have we got?

A guilty TECHNICIAN looks to Mr. Paradox, but the bureaucrat
stays calm.

MR. PARADOX
In most cases, a couple thousand
years.

DEADPOOL
(exhales)
Well, sweet.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 29.
22 (CONTINUED) (4) 22

MR. PARADOX
But most cases aren’t fast enough.
Not for me.

DEADPOOL
What’s that mean?

MR. PARADOX
It means I’ve been tasked with
overseeing the end of your
universe, and regardless of what
the pencil pushers upstairs would
prefer, I will not waste my life
watching it die slowly of natural
causes. We used to just prune these
things. Simple, elegant, efficient, *
but I’m told the TVA doesn’t like *
to do that anymore. Well, I do. And *
no matter what my so-called *
superiors say, the multiverse does *
not need a babysitter...we need a *
mercy killer. And in this instance, *
I am the mercy killer. *

Mr. Paradox presses a few buttons and the MONITORS show a TVA
TECH CREW building a scary REACTOR-BOMB like device inside
the retro-fitted subway stop across the street from Wade’s
apartment. This is the TIME RIPPER.

DEADPOOL
What is that?! *

MR. PARADOX
That’s a time ripper, Mr. Wilson.
An accelerant. Once completed it
will allow me to destroy the
spacetime matrix of your universe.
You see, I don’t want to work for
the TVA, I want to be the TVA. And
my first order of business will be *
giving your universe a swift and *
compassionate end. Instead of a
slow, cruel, natural death, your
universe will simply blink out of *
existence. And don’t worry, your *
friends won’t feel a thing. It will *
be over just like this -- “Oh, *
what’s that?” Ah. Trust me. *

DEADPOOL
No. You’re going to Old Yeller my *
fucking universe?!



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 30.
22 (CONTINUED) (5) 22

MR. PARADOX
In your parlance... Yes? Two in the
heart, one in the head. *

TVA techs surround them, one of them holding a timestick
threateningly.

MR. PARADOX (CONT’D)
Look, Mr. Wilson. You have two
choices. You can either rejoin your
loved ones and collectively cease
to exist in...
(checks monitor)
...I’d say 72 hours? Or, you join
the sacred timeline, and you end
your days of insignificance and
mediocrity. Wade, you can finally,
finally matter.

Deadpool looks down at his fancy new costume. Over to the
monitors showing the SACRED TIMELINE.

Deadpool nods reluctantly.

DEADPOOL
That’s all I’ve ever really wanted.

MR. PARADOX
I know. I know.

DEADPOOL
And you know I’m nothing if not
morally flexible.
(then)
Yup. I’ll do it.

MR. PARADOX
Wise choice. The Sacred Timeline is
happy to have you.

DEADPOOL
I was actually talking about *
finding your Anchor Being and *
breaking your fucking nose.

DEADPOOL smacks the TEMPAD OUT OF Mr. Paradox’s hands,
sending the device flying, then HEADBUTTS his nose,
shattering it.

Deadpool turns to track the airborne flight of the TemPad and
takes off after it. Two Minutemen stand in his way,
timesticks at the ready.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 31.
22 (CONTINUED) (6) 22

Without breaking stride, Deadpool takes them down and
launches SLO-MO into a 360 twirl off the ‘PIER’ and after the
TemPad, directly over the EYE FUCKER, who’s back at his desk
below, now GAPING at the prospect of getting pancaked.

Deadpool grabs the TemPad midair, hits the button and opens a
time door, which he falls through. His left hand is the last
to disappear, reaching for the EYE FUCKER.

ZAP! The time door zips closed, and Deadpool DISAPPEARS.

The eye fucker blinks, realizes his MUG is MISSING from his
hand.

Mr. Paradox, blood pouring from his nose, slowly turns to the
shocked agents gathering around him. Calmly:

MR. PARADOX
Find him. FIND HIM.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Comedy"]

Summary Wade bursts into the TVA fitting room, demanding a new Deadpool suit, leading to a montage of his transformation into a vibrant outfit. He struts into the TVA Command Center, flaunting his look and making suggestive comments. Mr. Paradox reveals that Deadpool's universe is dying due to the death of its 'Anchor Being,' Logan, and presents him with a choice: join the Sacred Timeline or face destruction. After a moment of contemplation, Deadpool pretends to agree but instead attacks Mr. Paradox and escapes through a time door, leaving the TVA agents in shock.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • High stakes
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be confusing for viewers unfamiliar with the Marvel universe

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is engaging, with a mix of humor, drama, and action. It introduces high stakes and sets up a compelling conflict for Deadpool to navigate.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the Anchor Being, the decay of the universe, and the introduction of the Time Ripper device are innovative and add depth to the storyline.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene, introducing a major threat and setting up a crucial decision for the main character.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the concept of multiverse destruction and explores the idea of mercy killing a universe in a unique and engaging way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to their personalities.


Character Development

Characters: 8.6

The characters, especially Deadpool and Mr. Paradox, are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their personalities and motivations effectively.

Character Changes: 9

Deadpool undergoes a significant change in this scene, moving from indifference to a sense of responsibility and purpose.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal is to come to terms with the responsibility of being an 'Anchor Being' and the potential consequences of his actions on the universe.

External Goal: 7.5

Deadpool's external goal is to stop Mr. Paradox from destroying the spacetime matrix of his universe using the Time Ripper device.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with the threat of the universe's destruction and Deadpool's decision to make a significant impact on the story.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Mr. Paradox presenting a formidable threat to Deadpool and the universe. The audience is left unsure of how Deadpool will overcome this challenge.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with the threat of the universe's destruction and Deadpool's decision having far-reaching consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, introducing a major plot point and setting up future events.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twist of Mr. Paradox's plan to destroy the universe and Deadpool's decision to confront him. The audience is kept on their toes with each new revelation.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of mercy killing a universe to prevent a slow and cruel death. Deadpool must grapple with the moral implications of sacrificing his universe for the greater good.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to concern, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.

Dialogue: 8.8

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals important information about the universe's situation and Deadpool's choices.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of humor, action, and high stakes. The dialogue and character interactions keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and exposition. The rhythm builds tension and keeps the audience engaged throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a buildup of tension, a revelation of the threat to the universe, and a decision point for the protagonist. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Deadpool's irreverent humor and flamboyant personality, particularly in the fitting room montage. However, the transition from the fitting room to the command center could be smoother. The abrupt cut might disorient the audience, so consider adding a visual or auditory cue that links the two locations more cohesively.
  • The dialogue is sharp and witty, showcasing Deadpool's character well. However, some of the jokes, while funny, may feel a bit overstuffed. For instance, the line about the tailor being a predator could be streamlined to maintain the comedic rhythm without losing the punch.
  • The introduction of the 'Anchor Being' concept is intriguing, but it could benefit from a clearer explanation. While the audience may understand the term from comic lore, a brief, humorous clarification could enhance comprehension without detracting from the pacing.
  • Mr. Paradox's character is well-defined, but his motivations could be fleshed out further. Why does he want to destroy Deadpool's universe? Adding a line or two that hints at his backstory or personal stakes could deepen the conflict and make the stakes feel more immediate.
  • The emotional weight of Logan's death is significant, but the scene could benefit from a moment of silence or a visual cue that emphasizes the gravity of the situation. This would allow the audience to absorb the impact of the revelation before moving on to Deadpool's comedic reactions.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a visual transition between the fitting room and the command center, such as a quick montage of Deadpool strutting through the TVA, to maintain the energy and flow.
  • Streamline some of Deadpool's jokes to enhance comedic timing. Focus on the strongest punchlines and eliminate any that feel redundant or overly complex.
  • Incorporate a brief, humorous explanation of the 'Anchor Being' concept to ensure all audience members understand its significance.
  • Add a line or two that provides insight into Mr. Paradox's motivations for wanting to destroy Deadpool's universe, which could add depth to his character and the conflict.
  • Include a moment of silence or a visual cue after the revelation of Logan's death to allow the audience to process the emotional weight before returning to Deadpool's humor.



Scene 14 - Deadpool's Clumsy Clash
23 EXT. NORTH DAKOTA - LOG NEAR GRAVESITE - EARLIER 23

We are back where we left off. Minutemen rush Deadpool.
Deadpool roars like a FUCKING ANIMAL and rushes the
Minutemen. CLAWS OUT.

DEADPOOL (V.O.)
And boy did he ever. Which brings
us back to this. The desecration of
the sacred corpse.

Deadpool seems possessed. Animalistic. He charges the TVA
SWAT AGENTS. Deadpool wields Logan’s claws. The energy
quickens along with our pulse.

Only, it’s not what you’d expect. Wielding the adamantium
claws is not as easy as the protein snorting Aussie fuck
makes it look. In short, Deadpool SUCKS at this. It’s messy,
inelegant. Sure he nails a few bad guys, but also stabs
himself. He gets claws stuck in everything.

DEADPOOL
My own fucking arm!

Still, determination prevails. Despite his ineptitude, he
dispenses Minutemen, down to the last man...

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Now we’re talking!

MINUTEMAN
Oh dear god!



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 32.
23 (CONTINUED) 23

DEADPOOL
I’m sorry. Wolverining is hard!

MINUTEMAN
Make it stop.

DEADPOOL
Mangled cry!

Deadpool and the last man standing are ten feet apart.

UNMASKED MINUTEMAN
You sick fuck! Logan was a hero!
And the only thing worth a shit to
ever come out of Canada.

In the blink of an eye, Deadpool closes the gap. And before
the Agent can blink, one of Deadpool’s swords is through his
jaw and protrudes from the back of his skull. Deadpool is an
inch from his face.

DEADPOOL
Get my country’s name out of your
fucking MOUTH.
(beat)
And my sword. Give me that.

The Agent falls out of frame, dead. As Deadpool looks around,
surrounded by fallen TVA Agents, the score subtly alludes to
the CANADIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
(sighs)
Ew. I gotta find me another Logan. *

Deadpool taps coordinates into the TempPad and--
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a chaotic showdown in North Dakota, Deadpool wields Logan's adamantium claws with reckless abandon, injuring himself while battling the Minutemen. His frenzied fighting style leads to comedic mishaps as he defeats the TVA SWAT Agents. A final confrontation with an unmasked Minuteman escalates when the agent insults Canada, prompting Deadpool to kill him in a fit of rage. The scene concludes with Deadpool humorously expressing his need to find another Logan and entering coordinates into his TempPad.
Strengths
  • Creative use of Wolverine's bones as weapons
  • Humorous dialogue and action sequences
  • Character development for Deadpool
Weaknesses
  • Some may find the violence and dark humor unsettling

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, action, and character development, showcasing Deadpool's unique personality and skills. The use of Wolverine's bones as weapons adds a creative and unexpected element to the fight sequence.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Deadpool digging up Wolverine's grave and using his bones as weapons is both creative and fitting within the context of the character's story. It adds a layer of complexity to the scene and showcases Deadpool's connection to Wolverine.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Deadpool's confrontation with the TVA agents and his use of Wolverine's bones in battle. It advances the overall narrative by introducing a new conflict and highlighting Deadpool's resourcefulness.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the superhero genre by subverting traditional hero tropes and exploring the complexities of heroism and identity. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The scene focuses on Deadpool's character development, showcasing his determination, humor, and connection to Wolverine. The TVA agents add a new dynamic to the scene, challenging Deadpool in unexpected ways.

Character Changes: 8

Deadpool undergoes a minor character change in the scene, showcasing his determination and resourcefulness in the face of adversity. His connection to Wolverine is further explored, adding depth to his character.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal in this scene is to prove himself and show his worth, despite his ineptitude with wielding Logan's claws. This reflects his desire for validation and acceptance, as well as his struggle with self-doubt.

External Goal: 7.5

Deadpool's external goal is to defeat the Minutemen and TVA Agents and protect the gravesite. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing and his role as a protector.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with Deadpool facing off against the TVA agents and using unconventional weapons in battle. The stakes are raised as Deadpool fights to protect his universe and honor Wolverine's memory.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Deadpool facing physical and moral challenges that test his abilities and beliefs. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, with Deadpool fighting to protect his universe and honor Wolverine's memory. The confrontation with the TVA agents adds a sense of urgency and danger to the situation.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict with the TVA agents and highlighting Deadpool's role in protecting his universe. It sets the stage for future developments and challenges for the character.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and dialogue choices made by the characters. The outcome of the conflict is uncertain, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of heroism and sacrifice, as the Unmasked Minuteman views Logan as a hero while Deadpool challenges this perception. This challenges Deadpool's beliefs about heroism and his own identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, particularly in Deadpool's interactions with Wolverine's skeleton and his determination to continue fighting. The humor and action elements balance the emotional moments effectively.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is witty, sarcastic, and humorous, reflecting Deadpool's personality. The banter between Deadpool and the TVA agents adds depth to the confrontation and enhances the overall tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and unexpected twists. The conflict and character dynamics keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action, dialogue, and character moments that maintain the tension and momentum of the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene is well-formatted with clear action lines, dialogue tags, and scene descriptions. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the script.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a buildup of tension, a climax of action, and a resolution that sets up future events. The formatting is consistent with the genre's expectations.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Deadpool's chaotic energy and humor, maintaining the irreverent tone established throughout the screenplay. His struggle with Wolverine's claws adds a layer of comedic ineptitude that is consistent with his character.
  • The dialogue is sharp and witty, particularly Deadpool's quips about his own ineptitude and the Minutemen's reactions. This back-and-forth enhances the comedic aspect while also highlighting the absurdity of the situation.
  • The use of voiceover is a strong choice, as it allows Deadpool to provide commentary on the action while also breaking the fourth wall. However, the transition between the voiceover and the action could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
  • The emotional stakes are somewhat diluted by the humor. While Deadpool's antics are entertaining, the scene could benefit from a moment that emphasizes the gravity of his actions—specifically, the desecration of Logan's corpse. This could deepen the audience's connection to the characters and the situation.
  • The pacing is generally good, but there are moments where the action could be more tightly edited to enhance the comedic timing. For instance, the beat where Deadpool stabs himself could be played for more laughs with a quicker cut to his reaction.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Deadpool after he injures himself, allowing for a comedic pause that emphasizes his clumsiness and adds depth to his character's emotional state.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more physical comedy into the action sequences. For example, Deadpool could accidentally use the claws to get stuck in the environment in increasingly ridiculous ways, heightening the absurdity.
  • Enhance the emotional weight of the scene by including a flashback or a brief memory of Logan that Deadpool recalls during the fight. This could serve to remind the audience of the stakes involved and Deadpool's complicated feelings about Logan's death.
  • Consider varying the tone slightly by allowing a moment of seriousness or vulnerability from Deadpool, perhaps after he defeats the last Minuteman. This could provide a contrast to the humor and make his desire to find another Logan feel more poignant.
  • Ensure that the transition from the action back to the voiceover is seamless. You might want to have Deadpool's voiceover continue as he taps coordinates into the TempPad, creating a more cohesive narrative flow.



Scene 15 - Deadpool's Hairy Encounter
24 INT. AXE-BAR - NIGHT 24

DEADPOOL arrives through a Time Door and sees something
across the room. Calls out:

DEADPOOL
Logan. I’m going to need you to *
come with me right now. *

A hush falls over the bar. A man turns:

IT IS THE MOST GLORIOUSLY HANDSOME HUGH JACKMAN WOLVERINE WE
HAVE EVER SEEN. He turns to Deadpool, cocks an eyebrow.

LOGAN
(steely)
Who’s asking?

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 33.
24 (CONTINUED) 24

Logan slides off his bar to stand up, but instead drops
bafflingly DOWN, and OUT of frame.

WIDEN TO REVEAL:

An immensely hairy, 5’4” Wolverine with RAZOR SHARP incisors.
Standing next to the bar stool which is roughly the same
height as him.

DEADPOOL
Oh. Look at this hairy little Lou *
Retton. Did you stick the landing,
little guy? Yes, you did, comic
accurate short king. Such a cute w-
ittle w-ovy. Hard pass. I’m not *
laughing. *

Deadpool hits the TempPad and steps out through the time door
and into--
26 EXT. POST-APOCALYPTIC ALLEY - NIGHT 26

DEADPOOL is giving a full SALES PITCH to a very suspicious
AGE OF APOCALYPSE WOLVERINE.

DEADPOOL
Ahoy! Everything seems to be on *
fire. Do you have a dragon? Quick *
q. Are you an Anchor Being by *
chance? *
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Deadpool bursts into an axe-bar through a Time Door, seeking Logan's help. The atmosphere shifts as the bar goes silent, and Logan is humorously revealed to be a much shorter and hairier version of Wolverine. Deadpool mocks this unexpected appearance, calling him a 'hairy little Lou Retton,' and decides to leave in search of a more suitable Logan. He taps coordinates into his TempPad and steps through another time door into a post-apocalyptic alley, ready to pitch to a different version of Wolverine.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Unique character interaction
  • Creative twist on familiar characters
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development
  • Low emotional depth
  • Relatively low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is highly entertaining and unique, blending humor with a touch of suspense. The introduction of a miniature Wolverine adds a fresh and unexpected element to the story, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of encountering alternate versions of characters adds depth to the story and opens up new possibilities for humor and storytelling. The scene effectively explores the idea of different timelines and their implications.

Plot: 7.5

The plot of the scene focuses on Deadpool's encounter with a miniature Wolverine and sets up potential future conflicts or interactions. While it is primarily a comedic moment, it hints at larger themes of alternate realities.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on familiar superhero characters, blending humor and action in a unique way. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are portrayed in a humorous and engaging manner, with Deadpool's sarcastic wit contrasting with Wolverine's unexpected appearance. The scene showcases their dynamic well.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, Deadpool's reaction to the miniature Wolverine reveals his humorous and sarcastic nature, further establishing his character traits.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal is to convince Wolverine to come with him, showcasing his wit and bravado. This reflects Deadpool's need for companionship and validation.

External Goal: 7

Deadpool's external goal is to recruit Wolverine for a mission, reflecting the immediate challenge or circumstance he is facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily comedic, with Deadpool's reaction to the miniature Wolverine providing the main source of tension. The interaction between the characters drives the conflict in a light-hearted manner.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Wolverine's reluctance to join Deadpool adding conflict and uncertainty to the outcome.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on humor and character interaction than on high-stakes drama. The comedic tone keeps the audience engaged without intense suspense.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the concept of alternate timelines and setting up potential future conflicts or interactions. It adds depth to the narrative and expands the possibilities for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected appearance of an alternate version of Wolverine and the humorous interactions between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between Deadpool's humorous and irreverent approach and Wolverine's stoic and serious demeanor. This challenges Deadpool's beliefs about how to interact with others and handle situations.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a moderate level of emotional impact through its humor and unexpected twist with the miniature Wolverine. While not deeply emotional, it engages the audience on a comedic level.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is witty, sarcastic, and filled with humor. Deadpool's quips and reactions to the situation enhance the comedic tone of the scene and keep the audience entertained.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty banter between Deadpool and Wolverine, the unexpected twist with the alternate version of Wolverine, and the suspense of the time-travel element.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and humor, with well-timed dialogue and action beats.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with proper scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a superhero genre, with clear character introductions, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively utilizes Deadpool's signature humor and irreverence, particularly in his reaction to the unexpected version of Wolverine. However, the transition from the bar to the post-apocalyptic alley feels abrupt. The pacing could benefit from a smoother segue that maintains the comedic momentum while providing a clearer connection between the two locations.
  • Deadpool's dialogue is witty and captures his character well, but the reference to 'hairy little Lou Retton' may not resonate with all audiences. While it showcases Deadpool's quirky humor, it could alienate viewers unfamiliar with the reference. Consider using a more universally recognizable comparison to enhance relatability.
  • The visual gag of Wolverine being much shorter and hairier than expected is a strong comedic element, but it could be further emphasized with more descriptive action. For instance, detailing Deadpool's exaggerated reactions or the reactions of the bar patrons could amplify the humor and absurdity of the moment.
  • The introduction of the Age of Apocalypse Wolverine in the next scene feels somewhat disconnected from the previous scene's punchline. While it serves to advance the plot, the transition could be more cohesive. A brief moment of reflection or a humorous comment from Deadpool about his failed attempt to recruit the first Wolverine could create a smoother narrative flow.
  • The scene's tone is consistent with the overall script, but it could benefit from a stronger emotional undercurrent. Deadpool's quest for Logan is driven by a sense of urgency, and incorporating a hint of vulnerability or desperation in his dialogue could deepen the audience's connection to his character.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of Deadpool's internal monologue or a humorous aside about his expectations versus reality regarding Wolverine's appearance to enhance the comedic impact.
  • Explore the reactions of the bar patrons to Deadpool's entrance and the reveal of the alternate Wolverine. Their confusion or amusement could add another layer of humor and context to the scene.
  • To improve the transition to the next scene, include a line where Deadpool expresses his disappointment or frustration about not finding the right Logan, setting up the urgency for the next encounter.
  • Revise the reference to 'hairy little Lou Retton' to something more widely recognized or relatable, ensuring that the humor lands with a broader audience.
  • Incorporate a moment where Deadpool briefly considers the implications of encountering different versions of Wolverine, adding depth to his character and the stakes of his quest.



Scene 16 - Deadpool's Casino Chaos
25 INT. MADRIPOOR CASINO - NIGHT 25
*

DEADPOOL finds himself in a swanky private back room of a *
casino. SCANTILY-CLAD BEAUTIES serve drinks to high-rollers. *

Deadpool spots the man he’s looking for at a BACCARAT TABLE. *

An EYE-PATCH WEARING WOLVIE in a dapper white tuxedo (PATCH) *
plays baccarat with an air of sophistication and panache. *

DEADPOOL *
Logan. *

27 INT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - DAY 27
*

Deadpool walks in. We see someone in silhouette from behind *
working on a vintage motorcycle. Smoke curls from either side *
of his backlit head. His muscular form dominates our frame. *
Iconic. Powerful. *




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 34.
27 (CONTINUED) 27

DEADPOOL *
Oh, now we’re talking. Oh yeah, *
that’s the whole goddamn package *
right there. *

26A EXT. CABIN (NEW MONTAGE) - DAY 26A

Deadpool approaches a cabin, finds OLD MAN LOGAN sitting
outside.

DEADPOOL
Howdy! I’m just -- I’m auditioning *
Anchor Beings. Oh, okay that’s *
going to need some coconut oil. *

He SHOOTS Deadpool off the porch. *

26C EXT. CRUCIFIXION (NEW MONTAGE) - MAGIC HOUR 26C
*

Deadpool walks over to a MOUND OF SKULLS in the shape of an X *
to find... a CRUCIFIED WOLVERINE attached. *

DEADPOOL *
What in the fuck? Are you okay? *

26B EXT. WOODS (NEW MONTAGE) - DAY 26B
*

Deadpool finds BROWN AND YELLOW WOLVERINE. *

DEADPOOL *
Oh yes, yes. Classic John Byrne *
Brown and Tan. Now you fought the *
Hulk in this outfit, no? *

Deadpool turns to find The Hulk towering over him. *

DEADPOOL (CONT’D) *
Are you my Anchor Being, Green *
Daddy? *

The Hulk sends Deadpool flying. *

BACK TO MADRIPOOR CASINO:

Patch calmly puts his hand behind Deadpool’s head. SHNIKT!
The claws POP OUT THE FRONT of Deadpool’s skull. Blood
splatters on Patch’s white tuxedo, and everyone else in the
spray radius
radius. As Patch retracts his claws and Deadpool rolls
off and out of frame... *

BACK TO POST-APOCALYPTIC ALLEY: *

Wolvie viciously stabs Deadpool again and again. *



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 35.
26B (CONTINUED) 26B

BACK TO CRUCIFIXION: *

DEADPOOL (CONT’D) *
It’s not you. We’re just going in a *
different direction. *

Deadpool exits through a time door. *

BACK TO INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE WOLVERINE:

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
You know, from behind you look a
little bit like Hopper-- oh my
fuck!

Wolverine turns around and it’s HOPPER-FUCKING-RENE.

Stogie between clenched teeth. The hair. The beard. The whole
nine yards. And dare I say, he makes a compelling Wolverine.
I mean... If things don’t pan out with Hugh...

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
The Hopper-rene. The legends are
true. And may I say, sir. On behalf
of all of humanity... This just
feels right. We will treat you so
much better than those shit fucks
down the street--

HOPPER-RENE
You were just leaving.

DEADPOOL
No, sir. Not while the fate of my *
universe is at stake -- *

Before DP can finish his sentence, Hopper-rene loads his arms
Mission Impossible style. Claws protract from each fist and
BOOM! He sends Deadpool through multiple pillars. Before
Deadpool hits a final one and the wall, he’s opened another
time door and WHOOSHES INTO:
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a luxurious casino back room in Madripoor, Deadpool humorously interacts with various versions of Wolverine, including the tuxedo-clad Patch and a new aggressive incarnation named Hopper-Rene. Amidst absurd banter and chaotic montages, Deadpool's attempts to identify 'Anchor Beings' lead to violent confrontations, culminating in Patch extending his claws from Deadpool's skull and Hopper-Rene launching him through pillars. The scene blends dark humor with action, showcasing Deadpool's characteristic wit and the chaotic nature of his encounters.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Creative concept
  • Well-executed action sequences
Weaknesses
  • Lack of emotional depth
  • Limited character development for secondary characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-executed with a good balance of humor, action, and character interactions. The concept of Deadpool meeting different versions of Wolverine adds an interesting twist to the storyline.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Deadpool encountering different versions of Wolverine in various settings is creative and adds depth to the character dynamics. It explores the idea of alternate realities and showcases Deadpool's unique perspective.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Deadpool's interactions with different versions of Wolverine, leading to comedic moments and action sequences. It moves the story forward by introducing new challenges for Deadpool.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique character dynamics and unexpected situations, such as Deadpool's encounters with different versions of Wolverine.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Deadpool and the different versions of Wolverine, are well-developed and showcase their distinct personalities. The dialogue and interactions between the characters add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in the scene, Deadpool's interactions with the different versions of Wolverine showcase different facets of his personality and his adaptability to various situations.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal in this scene is to confront Wolverine and potentially resolve some personal conflict or issue between them.

External Goal: 7

Deadpool's external goal is to engage with Wolverine in some form of confrontation or interaction.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene has a moderate level of conflict, primarily in the form of the fight sequences between Deadpool and the different versions of Wolverine. The tension adds to the comedic and chaotic nature of the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene, represented by Wolverine's presence and actions, creates conflict and challenges for Deadpool, adding depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes in the scene are moderately high, as Deadpool faces off against different versions of Wolverine and must navigate the consequences of his actions in the alternate realities. The outcome could impact the fate of his universe.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and conflicts for Deadpool to navigate. It sets up future plot developments and explores the consequences of interacting with alternate versions of characters.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in character interactions and the introduction of different versions of Wolverine.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene could be the clash between Deadpool's irreverent, humorous approach to situations and Wolverine's more serious, stoic demeanor.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, mainly through the humor and character interactions. It elicits laughter and engagement from the audience but does not delve deeply into emotional depth.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is witty, sarcastic, and humorous, reflecting the personalities of the characters involved. It adds to the comedic tone of the scene and enhances the interactions between Deadpool and Wolverine.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its blend of humor, action, and unexpected character dynamics, keeping the audience entertained and intrigued.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to impactful character interactions and plot developments.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, making it easy to follow and visualize.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with distinct settings and character interactions, maintaining the audience's engagement.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Deadpool's irreverent humor and chaotic nature, particularly through his interactions with different versions of Wolverine. However, the transitions between the various Wolverines could be smoother to maintain clarity and coherence. The abrupt shifts may confuse the audience about the timeline and the stakes involved.
  • The visual imagery of Deadpool being stabbed by Wolverine's claws is striking and aligns with the dark humor of the franchise. However, the blood splatter on Patch's tuxedo feels a bit over-the-top and could detract from the comedic tone if not handled carefully. Balancing the gore with humor is crucial in maintaining the right tone.
  • The dialogue is witty and captures Deadpool's character well, but some lines could benefit from tightening. For instance, the lengthy monologue about Hopper-Rene could be condensed to maintain pacing and keep the audience engaged. Deadpool's humor often shines in brevity, so consider trimming some of the more extended jokes.
  • The introduction of multiple Wolverines is a clever concept, but it risks overwhelming the audience. Each version should have a distinct personality or visual cue to differentiate them better. This would enhance the comedic effect and help the audience follow the narrative more easily.
  • The scene ends with Deadpool being sent through multiple pillars, which is visually dynamic but may leave the audience feeling disoriented. A clearer indication of the stakes or consequences of his actions could enhance the emotional weight of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Deadpool after encountering each Wolverine to emphasize his emotional journey and the stakes of finding an 'Anchor Being.' This could deepen the audience's connection to his quest.
  • To improve clarity, use visual cues or distinct character traits for each Wolverine version. This could include different outfits, mannerisms, or even dialogue styles that reflect their unique backgrounds.
  • Tighten the dialogue by focusing on punchier lines that deliver humor quickly. This will help maintain the scene's pacing and keep the audience engaged.
  • Incorporate a moment where Deadpool acknowledges the absurdity of the situation, perhaps breaking the fourth wall to comment on the multiple Wolverines. This could enhance the comedic tone and provide a moment of levity amidst the chaos.
  • Consider ending the scene with a stronger emotional hook or cliffhanger that ties back to Deadpool's overarching goal, reinforcing the stakes and keeping the audience invested in his journey.



Scene 17 - Rescue Mission at the Bar
28 INT. SEEDY CANADIAN BAR - DAY 28

DEADPOOL flies in backwards, continuing the momentum from
“Hopper-rene”, taking out a patron’s beer. He rolls up and
onto his feet. The PATRON takes an aggressive SWING. Deadpool
very nonchalantly - almost elegantly - catches the man by the
throat, mashing his carotid artery with his thumb and
lowering him silently out of frame.

DEADPOOL
(seeing Wolverine)
Ooh, this one looks promising.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 36.
28 (CONTINUED) 28
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
(to the Patron)
Down you go.

Lowlifes inhabit the corners. Deadpool scans the room, his
eyes landing on a lone figure slumped at the end of the bar.
The silhouette of his hairstyle leaves no room for ambiguity
about who this solitary figure is.

CLOSER NOW:

With LOGAN, a depressed loner in jeans and a work jacket.
He’s drunk. Haunted by things only he can see.

He downs a shot of WHISKY and taps the bar.

LOGAN
Again.

The BARTENDER leans in ominously.

BARTENDER
I told ya you’re not welcome here.
You’re not welcome anywhere, now
get the fuck outta my bar.

Logan locks eyes with the Bartender. We expect rage. We get a
flicker of shame.

LOGAN
Just give me one more drink, and
then I’ll leave.

BARTENDER
That’s not how it works.

DEADPOOL (O.S.)
It does now. Leave the bottle.

CAMERA WRAPS TO REVEAL Deadpool is now seated on the stool
right next to Logan. He refills Logan’s glass. Logan stares
glassy-eyed at Deadpool for a beat too long. Where’s this
going?

LOGAN
I know you, Bub?

DEADPOOL
Nope. But I know you.

He smiles. Then with a hint of sadness:

LOGAN
Everybody knows me. I’m The
Wolverine.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 37.
28 (CONTINUED) (2) 28

DEADPOOL
Yes, you are. And I’m going to need *
you to come with me right now.

Logan stares at Deadpool. Glass-eyed. Wasted.

LOGAN
Look, Lady. I’m not interested.

DEADPOOL
Really gettin’ into your cups here.

LOGAN
Why would I go with you?

DEADPOOL
(deadly serious)
Because unfortunately I need you.
And even more unfortunately, my
entire world needs you.

BARTENDER
You two gonna fuck or fight?

Deadpool looks back and forth from Wolvie to the Bartender.

DEADPOOL
You gonna take that from him?

A beat.

WOLVERINE
Yup.

DEADPOOL
I can see you have a whole haunted *
inner world that I’m guessing we’ll *
get to unpack later, but every *
other Wolverine would have really *
hurt me by now, and I’m sorta of on *
the tick-tick, so upsee-daysey...!
Here we go.

Deadpool hoists Logan up. Logan awkwardly smacks Deadpool’s
hand off and takes an unsteady fight stance.

WOLVERINE
Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey.

DEADPOOL
I’ve got you, big guy.




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 38.
28 (CONTINUED) (3) 28

BARTENDER
Get that piece of shit outta my bar-
-

Without looking away from Logan, and in a lightning fast
move, Deadpool whips Logan’s highball at the Bartender. It
pulverizes into his forehead as the Bartender disappears
behind the bar, moaning in pain.

DEADPOOL
He’s not a piece of shit. He’s an
Anchor Being, and he’s coming with
me.

On Logan. SNIKT. Claws out.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Oh, Whiskey dick of the claws. It’s
quite common in Wolverines over
forty.

LOGAN
You don’t want this.

Lightening fast, DP points a Desert Eagle at Logan’s face. We
zoom in on its engraved muzzle: “Smile And Wait For The
Flash.”

DEADPOOL
You’re right. And you don’t want
this. But unless you wanna take a
deep breath through your fucking
forehead, I suggest you reconsider.
Let’s go, Peanut.

With enough booze in him to kill Winston Churchill:

LOGAN
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Watch
this. Alright. Easy.

Logan grabs the BOTTLE, drinking its entire contents.

DEADPOOL
Good god. Thirsty little honey
badger, aren’t you? It’s okay, keep
going. Audiences are accustomed to
long run times.

Logan keels forward, face-planting on the ground,
unconscious.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Guess you’ll have to do.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 39.
28 (CONTINUED) (4) 28

Deadpool crouches down to drag Logan out of the bar, grabbing
the front of his jacket, REVEALING A HINT OF BLUE AND YELLOW.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Okay, here we-- *
(into lens)
Oh, look at those pjs. That only
took twenty fucking years.

HARD CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a rundown Canadian bar, Deadpool confronts a drunken and despondent Logan, attempting to persuade him to leave with humor and urgency. After a comedic exchange with the bartender, Deadpool's efforts are thwarted by Logan's inebriation, leading to Logan collapsing. Ultimately, Deadpool reveals his iconic costume and prepares to drag the unconscious Logan out, blending dark humor with a sense of melancholy.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character development
  • Humorous moments
  • Action sequences
Weaknesses
  • Some may find the humor excessive or inappropriate for the tone

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is well-designed with a mix of humor, tension, and character development. The execution is solid, with effective dialogue and action sequences. The concept of Deadpool recruiting Wolverine for a mission adds depth to the plot.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of Deadpool seeking Wolverine's help in a seedy bar is intriguing and adds layers to the storyline. It introduces new dynamics and challenges for the characters.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses as Deadpool recruits Logan for a mission, setting up future events and character interactions. The scene moves the story forward and builds anticipation.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the interaction between Deadpool and Wolverine, showcasing unique character dynamics and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8.8

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions drive the scene and reveal more about their dynamics.

Character Changes: 9

Both Deadpool and Wolverine undergo subtle changes in their dynamic, setting the stage for future developments in their relationship.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to recruit Wolverine for a mission, reflecting his need for help and his desire to save his world.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to convince Wolverine to come with him, facing the challenge of Wolverine's reluctance and drunken state.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.7

The conflict between Deadpool and Wolverine, as well as the external threat in the bar, creates tension and drives the action forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and power struggles between the characters.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of recruiting Wolverine, the confrontation in the bar, and the impending mission add urgency and tension to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a new mission, recruiting Wolverine, and escalating the stakes for the characters.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions of the characters and the shifting power dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is evident in the bartender's judgment of Logan as a 'piece of shit' and Deadpool's defense of him as an 'Anchor Being', challenging societal norms and perceptions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.6

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to sadness, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.

Dialogue: 8.9

The dialogue is witty, sharp, and engaging, capturing the essence of the characters. It adds humor, tension, and depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and intriguing character dynamics.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension, building suspense, and delivering impactful moments.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a standard structure for its genre, with clear character introductions, conflict escalation, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Deadpool's irreverent humor and chaotic energy, which is essential to the character. However, the pacing feels uneven at times, particularly in the transition from Deadpool's initial confrontation with the bartender to his interaction with Logan. The abrupt shift in focus could benefit from smoother transitions to maintain the comedic flow.
  • Logan's characterization as a depressed, drunken figure is compelling, but the dialogue could delve deeper into his emotional state. While the humor is present, a moment of vulnerability or reflection could enhance the audience's connection to Logan and provide a contrast to Deadpool's antics.
  • The bartender's role serves as a comedic foil, but his dialogue feels somewhat clichéd. Instead of simply stating that Logan is 'not welcome,' consider giving the bartender a unique quirk or backstory that adds depth to his character and makes the interaction more memorable.
  • Deadpool's dialogue is sharp and witty, but some lines, such as 'Whiskey dick of the claws,' may come off as forced or overly reliant on shock value. Striking a balance between humor and character authenticity is crucial, especially in moments that could reveal more about Deadpool's motivations.
  • The scene's climax, where Deadpool points a gun at Logan, is intense but could benefit from heightened stakes. Perhaps adding a time constraint or external threat could amplify the urgency of the situation, making Logan's eventual collapse more impactful.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment where Deadpool reflects on why he needs Logan, providing context that deepens the emotional stakes of the scene. This could be a quick flashback or a line that hints at their shared history.
  • Enhance the bartender's character by giving him a memorable line or quirk that makes him stand out, such as a unique catchphrase or a backstory that connects him to Logan.
  • Incorporate more physical comedy during Deadpool's interactions with Logan, such as exaggerated movements or reactions that highlight Deadpool's chaotic nature while contrasting with Logan's lethargy.
  • Revise some of Deadpool's lines to ensure they feel organic to his character rather than relying solely on shock humor. Aim for a mix of clever wordplay and genuine emotion to create a more nuanced portrayal.
  • Introduce a ticking clock element or an external threat that forces Deadpool to act quickly, increasing the tension and making Logan's unconsciousness feel like a significant setback rather than a comedic punchline.



Scene 18 - Deadpool's Desperate Gamble
29 INT. TVA - COMMAND CENTER 29

Deadpool steps through a time door with an unconscious
Wolverine in all his GLORY, wearing his YELLOW and BLUE
suit.(But not yet wearing his mask. We save that for later.)

MR. PARADOX and his BUREAUCRATS monitor the progress of the
Time Ripper. They turn to see Deadpool lugging the passed-out
Wolverine towards them.

DEADPOOL
I got a big surprise. Here’s your
Anchor Being, baby girl. This Logan
has the same he-can-do-anything- *
even-musicals look, and bonus: he’s
actually wearing a costume like
he’s not embarrassed to be in a
superhero movie for once.

Deadpool barely registers as Logan falls over, landing at an
extremely odd angle. It’s ugly.

MR. PARADOX
I don’t understand.

DEADPOOL
You said my universe is dying
because this sack of nuts got
himself killed. Well, problem
solved. *

A long beat as Mr. Paradox seems to consider Deadpool’s
offering. Then, Mr. Paradox breaks into laughter. Not just
laughter, though. A massive full-body guffaw.

MR. PARADOX
Oh my god. You actually think you
can replace an Anchor Being? With
THIS?? I wouldn’t have accepted ANY
other Wolverine, btws, but you have
outdone yourself and brought me the
WORST Wolverine!


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 40.
29 (CONTINUED) 29

ANGLE ON Logan, still prone on the ground, but eyes OPEN.
He’s heard every word.

DEADPOOL
Whaddya mean ‘the worst’ one?

MR. PARADOX
Mr. Wilson. This Wolverine let down
his entire world. He’s the stuff of
legend. But not in a good way.

CLOSE ON LOGAN’s wet eyes, fixated on the middle distance.
Listening.

MR. PARADOX (CONT’D)
What he did? Well. Some things are
just beyond forgiveness.

DEADPOOL
Ok... how do I make this right?
I’ll do anything.

MR. PARADOX
I gave you a chance at greatness.
Because my superiors deemed you
special. Clearly not “special” in a
good way, but apparently you have *
some important future purpose to *
serve. *

DEADPOOL *
With Thor. He holds me. *

MR. PARADOX *
But I did my duty. I gave you the *
opportunity to be somebody. And *
instead of accepting my offering
with humility and gratitude, you
broke my nose. *

DEADPOOL
It looks great.

MR. PARADOX
And you decimated dozens of my men
with the exhumed corpse of a hero.
Dishonoring not only his remains,
but his memory.

DEADPOOL
What are you, the internet?

A TVA tech brings Mr. Paradox a sandwich. He speaks with his
mouth full, underscoring a lack of genuine concern.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 41.
29 (CONTINUED) (2) 29

MR. PARADOX
Your world is dying.
(off the sandwich)
Thank you very much.
(back to Deadpool)
And there’s no stopping it. The
humane thing to do is to make it
quick. And painless. I’m a *
humanitarian. *

DEADPOOL
Is the thought of vaporizing my
universe making you peckish?

MR. PARADOX
(non-plussed) *
Think of the sacred timeline as a *
garden. I pull out the weeds. But *
we don’t blame the gardener, do we? *

DEADPOOL *
How about I fuck the gardener with *
a rusty ice skate? I’m about to *
lose everything that I’ve ever
cared about because that hairy
thundercunt from down undercunt
finally dies and-- he’s back on his *
feet again, isn’t he? *

REVEAL: Behind Deadpool we see a groggy WOLVERINE rise into
frame. He looks rather... Unhappy.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
(ostensibly to Wolverine) *
Welcome back. You smell amazing by *
the way. *
(to Mr. Paradox)
I want to talk to your boss. I want
you to get them on the phone, and
you tell him/her/or they that
Marvel H. Christ isn’t playing.

The TVA Technicians visibly tense up at this suggestion. Mr.
Paradox bristles.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Holy shit, I just heard a symphony
of buttholes clenching all at once.
You’re off grid. Your bosses don’t *
know what you sick fucks are doing *
down here. Well, I’ll tell you *
what. *

Deadpool pulls out his TemPad.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 42.
29 (CONTINUED) (3) 29

DEADPOOL (CONT’D) *
I have a black belt in Karen. And *
I’m going to go upstairs, and I’m *
going to tell them all about -- *

Mr. Paradox PRODS Deadpool with a TIMESTICK.

Deadpool DISAPPEARS. The TemPad falls uselessly to the
ground.

MR. PARADOX
Oh, silence is nice, isn’t it?

WOLVERINE
Where the fuck did he go?

MR. PARADOX
To the trash heap. You’ll fit right
in.

ZOOP

Mr. Paradox has flung his Timestick right at Wolverine,
eliminating him.

MR. PARADOX (CONT’D)
That was close. *
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In the TVA Command Center, Deadpool arrives with an unconscious Wolverine, claiming he can save their dying universe. However, Mr. Paradox and his bureaucrats ridicule Deadpool's choice, deeming Wolverine the 'worst' version. Despite Deadpool's insistence on making things right, Mr. Paradox dismisses him and explains the dire situation. Tensions escalate when Deadpool threatens to report Mr. Paradox, leading to his swift elimination with a Timestick, leaving a confused Wolverine alone.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Engaging conflict
  • Innovative concept
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be too confrontational for all audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted, blending humor, action, and sci-fi elements seamlessly. The introduction of the Time Variance Authority adds depth to the story and sets up intriguing conflicts for the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Deadpool facing consequences for his actions and being confronted by the Time Variance Authority adds depth to the story and opens up new possibilities for the character. The blending of sci-fi and comedy elements is innovative and engaging.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is engaging, introducing new conflicts and raising the stakes for the characters. Deadpool's dilemma with the Time Variance Authority sets up future developments and keeps the audience invested in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on time travel and alternate realities, with unique character dynamics and unexpected plot twists. The dialogue feels authentic to the characters' personalities.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Deadpool and Wolverine, are well-developed and their interactions drive the scene forward. Deadpool's irreverent personality and confrontational attitude shine through, adding depth to the dialogue and conflict.

Character Changes: 8

Deadpool undergoes a subtle change in the scene, facing consequences for his actions and being forced to confront his past. The introduction of the Time Variance Authority challenges his beliefs and sets up potential growth for the character.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal is to make amends for his past actions and save his universe from destruction. This reflects his deeper desire for redemption and a sense of purpose.

External Goal: 7.5

Deadpool's external goal is to convince Mr. Paradox to help him prevent the destruction of his universe by bringing back Wolverine.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene is high, with Deadpool facing consequences for his actions and being confronted by the Time Variance Authority. The tension between the characters drives the scene forward and sets up future conflicts.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Mr. Paradox serving as a formidable obstacle to Deadpool's goals. The audience is left unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, with Deadpool facing the potential destruction of his universe and having to make a crucial decision. The introduction of the Time Variance Authority raises the stakes even further, setting up intense conflicts.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, introducing new conflicts, raising the stakes, and setting up future developments. Deadpool's dilemma with the Time Variance Authority opens up new possibilities for the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the plot, like Deadpool's disappearance and Mr. Paradox's actions. The audience is kept on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Deadpool's desire for redemption and Mr. Paradox's belief in maintaining the sacred timeline at all costs.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, with moments of humor, tension, and confrontation resonating with the audience. Deadpool's dilemma and the introduction of the Time Variance Authority add depth to the story.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and confrontational, capturing the essence of Deadpool's character. The banter between Deadpool and Mr. Paradox adds tension and humor to the scene, keeping the audience engaged.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high-stakes conflict. The interactions between characters keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of action, dialogue, and character development. The rhythm keeps the audience engaged and builds tension effectively.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is well-formatted and easy to follow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Deadpool's irreverent humor and chaotic energy, which is essential to his character. However, the pacing feels uneven at times, particularly in the dialogue exchanges with Mr. Paradox. Some lines could be trimmed or restructured for better flow and comedic timing.
  • Mr. Paradox's character comes off as somewhat one-dimensional. While he serves as a foil to Deadpool, his motivations and personality could be fleshed out more. Adding layers to his character could enhance the conflict and make the stakes feel more significant.
  • The dialogue is witty and in line with Deadpool's character, but there are moments where it feels overly verbose. For instance, the lengthy explanation about the 'sacred timeline' and gardening could be condensed to maintain the scene's momentum and keep the audience engaged.
  • The visual elements are strong, particularly the imagery of Deadpool dragging Wolverine into the TVA Command Center. However, the description of Wolverine's state could be more vivid to emphasize the contrast between his heroic persona and his current vulnerability.
  • The stakes of the scene could be heightened. While Deadpool's universe is dying, the urgency of the situation isn't fully conveyed. Adding more tension in Deadpool's interactions with Mr. Paradox could amplify the stakes and make the audience feel the weight of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue by removing redundant lines or phrases that don't add to the humor or character development. This will help maintain a brisk pace and keep the audience engaged.
  • Explore Mr. Paradox's character further. Perhaps include a backstory or a personal stake in the situation that could create a more compelling dynamic between him and Deadpool.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of Wolverine's condition and Deadpool's actions to create a more vivid picture for the audience. This could involve more sensory details or emotional reactions from Deadpool regarding Wolverine's state.
  • Increase the tension in the scene by incorporating more immediate consequences for Deadpool's actions. For example, if Mr. Paradox has a way to eliminate Deadpool or Wolverine quickly, it could raise the stakes and create a sense of urgency.
  • Consider adding a moment of vulnerability for Deadpool, where he reflects on what losing Wolverine means to him. This could deepen the emotional impact of the scene and provide a contrast to the humor.



Scene 19 - Desperate Alliances in The Void
30 EXT. THE VOID - DESERT WASTELANDS - DAY 30

Detritus and artifacts from history and Marvel lore litter
the land. Deadpool awakens with a jolt.

A shadow falls over Deadpool’s face.

DEADPOOL
Don’t just stand there, you ape--
Give me a hand up.

SNIKT! Logan’s claws come out.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D) *
I’m actually okay, thank you.

WOLVERINE ROARS, buries BOTH CLAWS in Deadpool’s chest and
wrenches him to his feet.

WOLVERINE
Where the hell are we?

DEADPOOL
(looks around)
I don’t know.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 43.
30 (CONTINUED) 30
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Looks kind of Mad Maxy but that
would be IP infringement, right?

WOLVERINE
Fucking jokes.

Wolverine’s free hand/claws dip below frame. He impales DP in
what we can only assume is his perineum. He lifts him above
his head and with the force of a thousand wrestlers, slams
Deadpool down on his knee with the ultimate back breaker.

Deadpool GROANS and WRITHES on the ground, clutching at his
back.

DEADPOOL
AAAAH! Were you even listening back
there?! If we don’t make it back to
that Mr. Paradox asshole everyone I
know is going to die.

Wolverine dusts himself off. Takes a last look around.

WOLVERINE
Not my fucking problem.

Wolverine turns and walks away. *

DEADPOOL
That’s all you got? Is that what
you said when your world went to
shit?

Wolverine stops in his tracks. Turns his head. Seething.

WOLVERINE
Come again?

Deadpool looks around, trying to get his bearings, his back
to Wolverine...unaware he’s just poked a bear.

DEADPOOL
Yeah, I heard all about you. How
you screwed up everything. You
should be thanking me for pulling
you out of that bed you shit in--

SNIKT! Wolverine’s claws pierce through from behind and out
through Deadpool’s chest. Deadpool looks down at the claws.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
You backstabbing son of a bitch.

Wolverine lifts Deadpool up over his head, Deadpool splayed
up towards the dull Void sky.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 44.
30 (CONTINUED) (2) 30

An instant later, Deadpool flips up and over backwards, hooks
his legs around Wolvie’s hips and stomach, landing hard on
the ground with Wolvie on top of him.

Deadpool unloads BOTH guns into Wolvie’s ribs, but the *
sonofabitch takes his medicine strong. *

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Are you ready to be calm now? *

He slams his head back, crushing Deadpool’s nose before *
flinging him away. Deadpool rolls and SLAMS to a stop against *
a half-buried piece of stone. It’s the ancient 20TH CENTURY *
FOX LOGO. *

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Rest in pieces, Fox.

Low angle on Deadpool between Wolvie’s feet. We see the
bullets that were inside Wolvie drop to the ground with a
“PING” sound. Then another. And another. Until all 20 bullets
rain down in a clatter.

Close on Wolverine’s face. He exhales gun-smoke from his nose
and produces one more bullet between his teeth. Spits it to
the side and hunches down like a coiled panther.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I don’t want to fight you, Peanut.
It doesn’t matter what you did. I
just need your help.

WOLVERINE
I don’t fucking care.

A bomb goes off in Wolverine’s head. He ROARS. And charges.

DEADPOOL
Oh, uh oh. Fuck, this is going to *
hurt.
(to Wolverine)
Alright, fuck it. Let’s give the
people what they came for.

WOLVERINE
Let’s fucking go.

DEADPOOL
(to camera)
Get your special sock out, nerds.
It’s going to get good.




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 45.
30 (CONTINUED) (3) 30

Deadpool does a stunning mag reload and keeps firing, but
Wolvie keeps coming, finally slashing the barrels of
Deadpool’s Desert Eagles clean off.

Deadpool produces his SWORDS and defends himself against
Logan’s rage in an incredible blade-on blade BATTLE.

Deadpool wields a small blade.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Baby knife.

The fight’s intense. Builds in speed. And builds. And BUILDS
UNTIL:

Wolverine slashes Deadpool’s leg, bringing him to his knees.
Then pulls Deadpool’s head back, raising his claws and
preparing to DECAPITATE HIM.

WOLVERINE
Let’s see you grow your fucking
head back.

DEADPOOL
Wait wait wait! I can fix it! I can
fix it.

Wolverine hesitates.

WOLVERINE
Fix what?

DEADPOOL
Whatever it is that you did!
Whatever made you so bad. Those
pricks in the TVA...you heard them.
They have the power to end MY
universe. But they also have the
power to change YOURS. We get back
there, and we can fix your
world...together. I promise.

Wolverine’s interest is piqued.

MR. CLARKE (O.S.)
Hey! We fight each other, we lose!
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a desolate wasteland known as 'The Void', Deadpool confronts Wolverine, seeking his help to face the looming threat of Mr. Paradox. Their contentious relationship quickly escalates into a brutal fight, with Deadpool using his arsenal against Wolverine's claws. Amidst the chaos, Deadpool taunts Wolverine about his past, provoking further aggression. Just as Wolverine prepares to deliver a fatal blow, Deadpool pleads for assistance to save their worlds, capturing Wolverine's interest. However, their conflict is interrupted by Mr. Clarke, who warns them that fighting each other could lead to their downfall.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Dynamic character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Limited character development for secondary characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines action, humor, and tension to create an engaging and memorable confrontation between the two iconic characters. The dialogue is sharp, the stakes are high, and the conflict is palpable.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Deadpool and Wolverine facing off in a high-stakes battle in a post-apocalyptic setting is intriguing and well-executed, adding depth to both characters and advancing the overall plot.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is driven by the conflict between Deadpool and Wolverine, with high stakes and emotional intensity. It moves the story forward significantly and sets up future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the interaction between Deadpool and Wolverine, exploring themes of redemption and cooperation in a unique setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to their personalities.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

Both Deadpool and Wolverine are portrayed authentically, with their unique personalities and motivations driving the conflict. The character interactions are dynamic and engaging.

Character Changes: 8

Both Deadpool and Wolverine experience character growth and change during the scene, as they confront their pasts and consider the possibility of redemption.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal is to convince Wolverine to help him save their respective universes from a threat. This reflects Deadpool's desire to protect his loved ones and his fear of losing them.

External Goal: 7

Deadpool's external goal is to survive the confrontation with Wolverine and convince him to join forces. This reflects the immediate challenge of facing a powerful adversary and the need for cooperation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Deadpool and Wolverine is intense and drives the scene forward, adding layers of tension and emotion to the confrontation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Deadpool and Wolverine facing off in a physical and emotional confrontation. The audience is unsure of the outcome, adding to the suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the fate of multiple universes hanging in the balance as Deadpool and Wolverine face off in a battle that could change everything.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly advances the overall story, setting up future developments and introducing new challenges for the characters to overcome.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the character interactions and action sequences. The outcome of the confrontation between Deadpool and Wolverine is uncertain.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Deadpool's belief in redemption and second chances, and Wolverine's cynicism and reluctance to trust others. This challenges Deadpool's worldview of hope and optimism.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from tension to defiance to hope, as the characters face off in a high-stakes battle with significant consequences.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reflective of each character's personality. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the tension between Deadpool and Wolverine.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic action sequences, witty dialogue, and high stakes conflict between iconic characters. The tension and suspense keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense through the action sequences and character interactions. The rhythm of the dialogue and description keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and characters.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a superhero action sequence, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and irreverent tone characteristic of Deadpool, showcasing his humor and the contentious relationship with Wolverine. However, the pacing feels uneven at times, particularly during the fight sequences, where the dialogue could be tightened to maintain momentum.
  • The dialogue is sharp and witty, but some lines, especially Deadpool's taunts about Wolverine's past, could benefit from more subtlety. The humor often relies on shock value, which can overshadow the emotional stakes of their relationship. Balancing humor with genuine character moments would enhance the scene's depth.
  • The physicality of the fight is well-described, but the transitions between dialogue and action could be smoother. For instance, the shift from Deadpool's comedic quips to intense combat feels abrupt. Incorporating more visual cues or reactions from Deadpool during the fight could help maintain the comedic tone while still conveying the seriousness of the situation.
  • The introduction of Mr. Clarke as an off-screen voice at the end feels somewhat abrupt and could be better integrated into the scene. His warning about fighting each other could be foreshadowed earlier in the scene to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • The emotional stakes are present, particularly with Deadpool's plea for Wolverine's help, but the scene could delve deeper into Wolverine's internal conflict. Exploring his motivations and hesitations more thoroughly would add layers to the confrontation and make the eventual alliance more impactful.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue during the fight sequences to maintain a brisk pace and enhance comedic timing. Focus on key lines that drive the narrative forward.
  • Introduce more visual humor or physical reactions from Deadpool during the fight to balance the intensity with comedy, ensuring the audience remains engaged with both the action and the humor.
  • Foreshadow Mr. Clarke's warning earlier in the scene to create a more seamless transition into his interjection, enhancing the overall flow of the narrative.
  • Explore Wolverine's internal conflict more deeply, perhaps through brief flashbacks or inner thoughts, to provide context for his actions and make his eventual agreement to help Deadpool more resonant.
  • Consider adding a moment of vulnerability or reflection for Deadpool before the fight escalates, allowing the audience to connect with his desperation and the stakes involved in their confrontation.



Scene 20 - The Wasteland Showdown
31 EXT. THE VOID - DESERT WASTELANDS - DAY 31

Deadpool and Wolverine freeze, hearing the voice of a natural
leader. Deadpool and Wolverine look at something off-screen.
THE CAMERA PANS with them to reveal MR. CLARKE in TATTERED
RAGS, to their right, perched on the remains of a building.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 46.
31 (CONTINUED) 31

Mr. Clarke looks as heroic as a man can look. He’s been on
the run, but it hasn’t dampened his radiant spirit.

DEADPOOL
Dear God. It’s him.

WOLVERINE
Who?

DEADPOOL
The one. The superhero equivalent
to comfort food. Or molly. White
guys’ answer to all the
disappointments. And another A-
lister...I hope you’re not
expecting too much screen time,
gorgeous. I’m thinking Pratt in
Love and Thunder, but not a MINUTE
more.

Suddenly, the sound of approaching engines. Mr. Clarke sets
his gaze. Then:

MR. CLARKE
They’re coming.

DEADPOOL
Who’s they?

A MOB of MAD MAX-ian VEHICLES approach.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Oh, they’re driving angry.

Mr. Clarke jumps down in front of Deadpool and Wolverine.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Now that’s a superhero landing.

MR. CLARKE
I got this.

The vehicles surround them.

MR. CLARKE (CONT’D)
Stay close.

Deadpool gets behind Mr. Clarke and subtly places both arms
around his waist, looking straight ahead at the approaching
danger.

DEADPOOL
Aye aye, Captain. You’ve got this.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 47.
31 (CONTINUED) (2) 31

It’s weird. Mr. Clarke casually removes Deadpool’s hands.

The CARAVAN circles up on the three heroes, no way out.

The caravan comes to a halt. The vehicles are populated by
lesser-known mutants from the FOX X-MEN MOVIES: PYRO, TOAD,
plus some N.D.’s. You can almost see Pyro’s mouth water.

PYRO
Cassandra is gonna be giddy when
she sees what we caught.
(to Mr. Clarke)
You can’t run. Everyone knows that.

MR. CLARKE
You see anyone running, dick for
brains?

Deadpool shoots Mr. Clarke a quizzical look. Mr. Clarke’s
never worked blue before.

MR. CLARKE (CONT’D)
(to Pyro)
You’re not gonna love what happens
next.

DEADPOOL
(to Wolverine)
Ohmygod. OHMYGOD. He’s gonna say
it. Oh my god, he’s gonna say it.

WOLVERINE
Say what?

Mr. Clarke girds himself for battle. Throws off his Void-wear
bedouin wraps, revealing a signature “4” on his chest!

DEADPOOL MR. CLARKE
Avengers assemble! FLAME ON!

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I’m sorry what now?
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a desolate desert wasteland, Deadpool and Wolverine meet Mr. Clarke, a confident hero ready to face an approaching mob of mutants led by Pyro. As tension mounts, Mr. Clarke reveals a '4' on his chest and calls out iconic phrases, surprising Deadpool with his boldness. While Deadpool admires Mr. Clarke's superhero status, Wolverine remains skeptical. The scene builds towards an impending battle, blending humor and tension as the heroes prepare to defend themselves.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Dynamic character interactions
  • Humorous tone
Weaknesses
  • Potential for over-the-top humor
  • Complexity of new character introduction

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a good balance of humor, action, and heroism. The dialogue is engaging, and the introduction of Mr. Clarke adds a new dynamic to the interaction between the characters. The scene sets up a tense confrontation and leaves the audience eager to see what happens next.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, featuring a showdown between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Mr. Clarke against a mob of mutants in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, is unique and engaging. The introduction of Mr. Clarke as a new character adds depth to the storyline and sets the stage for further developments.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the confrontation between the main characters and the mob of mutants, leading to a high-stakes showdown. The progression of events builds tension and sets the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on superhero tropes by combining elements of different franchises and adding a comedic twist.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, including Deadpool, Wolverine, and Mr. Clarke, are well-developed and showcase their unique personalities and abilities. The interactions between the characters add depth to the storyline and create engaging dynamics that drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 7

The characters undergo some development in the scene, particularly in their interactions with each other and their approach to the conflict at hand. Deadpool, Wolverine, and Mr. Clarke show growth and adaptation as they face new challenges.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal is to maintain his sarcastic and humorous demeanor in the face of danger, reflecting his need to cope with difficult situations through humor.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to survive the encounter with the approaching mob of vehicles and mutants.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with the characters facing off against a mob of mutants in a tense and action-packed showdown. The stakes are raised as the situation escalates, leading to a climactic confrontation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonists facing overwhelming odds and uncertain outcomes.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters face off against a dangerous mob of mutants in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. The outcome of the confrontation will have significant consequences for the characters and the overall storyline.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, characters, and dynamics that will impact the future narrative. The resolution of the confrontation sets the stage for further developments and reveals new layers of the storyline.

Unpredictability: 9

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected alliances, twists, and character actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between Mr. Clarke's heroic and selfless nature and the antagonistic and selfish attitude of the mutants from the FOX X-MEN MOVIES.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, with moments of tension, humor, and heroism that resonate with the audience. The interactions between the characters evoke a range of emotions, from excitement to amusement.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and engaging, capturing the distinct voices of each character. The banter between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Mr. Clarke adds depth to their interactions and enhances the overall tone of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty banter, and unexpected plot developments.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, leading to a climactic confrontation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene is well-formatted and easy to follow, with clear descriptions and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a standard action sequence format with clear character motivations and escalating tension.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension with the introduction of Mr. Clarke, who serves as a natural leader. However, the transition from Deadpool and Wolverine's previous conflict to this new threat could be smoother. The abrupt shift might confuse the audience about the stakes and the urgency of the situation.
  • Deadpool's humor is on point, particularly in his commentary about Mr. Clarke and the impending danger. However, the humor sometimes undermines the tension of the moment. Balancing the comedic elements with the seriousness of the threat could enhance the scene's impact.
  • The dialogue is witty and captures the characters' personalities well, but some lines feel a bit forced, particularly Deadpool's quips about Mr. Clarke. Streamlining these lines could make the humor feel more organic and less like a setup for a punchline.
  • The introduction of lesser-known mutants like Pyro and Toad adds depth to the world, but their motivations and roles in this scene could be clearer. Providing a brief context for their presence would help the audience understand the stakes better.
  • Mr. Clarke's character is intriguing, but his transition from a heroic figure to a more aggressive stance could be better developed. Showing a bit more of his internal struggle or confidence could make his character more relatable and engaging.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or dialogue between Deadpool and Wolverine before Mr. Clarke's entrance to establish their emotional state and the stakes of the situation.
  • Try to balance the humor with the tension by allowing moments of seriousness to punctuate the comedic dialogue. This could involve Deadpool acknowledging the gravity of the situation before making a joke.
  • Refine Deadpool's lines to ensure they feel natural and spontaneous rather than overly scripted. This could involve improvisation or allowing for more character-driven humor.
  • Provide a quick backstory or motivation for the mutants in the caravan to clarify their intentions and raise the stakes for the confrontation.
  • Develop Mr. Clarke's character further by including a moment that showcases his leadership qualities or internal conflict, making him a more compelling figure in the scene.



Scene 21 - Flames, Fights, and Funny Quips
32 EXT. THE VOID - DESERT WASTELANDS - DAY 32

“Mr. Clarke” bursts into flames. He’s not Mr. Clarke... he’s
JONATHAN BYERS. Oops.

Jonathan flies over the caravan, blasting with a beam of
FLAME. A vehicle EXPLODES.

Pyro SIPHONS the flames from Jonathan with his mutant power.
Jonathan is EXTINGUISHED and falls out of the sky.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 48.
32 (CONTINUED) 32

JONATHAN
Oh fuck.

With a vicious blow, he slams into the scaffolding, then the
ground, knocked clean out.

WOLVERINE
We don’t know that guy.

DEADPOOL
Thought we did.

TYLER MANE’s SABRETOOTH, Wolverine’s natural enemy, leaps
down from a truck like a feral beast.

SABRETOOTH
I know you.

Sabretooth sniffs the air.

DEADPOOL
Holy... Sabretooth. Your brother.

SABRETOOTH
Ready to die?

Wolverine and Sabretooth prepare to fight.

DEADPOOL
Wait, wait, wait. Time.
(to Wolverine)
You look ridiculous.

Deadpool removes a sword from Wolverine’s abdomen.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
We all have an idiot brother.
Unfortunately, that’s you.
(removing baby knife)
Baby knife.
(then, to Wolverine)
People have waited decades for this
fight. He has no grappling game. *
Whatever you do, do not go for the
head.

WOLVERINE
Shut the fuck up.

DEADPOOL
Oh my god.
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 49.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a chaotic desert wasteland, Jonathan Byers mistakenly identified as Mr. Clarke bursts into flames and flies, causing an explosion before being extinguished by the mutant Pyro. Confusion ensues as Wolverine and Deadpool try to make sense of the situation, while Sabretooth confronts Wolverine, ready for a fight. Amidst the tension, Deadpool provides comic relief with humorous commentary and antics, including removing a sword from Wolverine's abdomen. The scene blends action and comedy, culminating in Deadpool's playful advice to Wolverine on how to face Sabretooth.
Strengths
  • Witty dialogue
  • Dynamic character interactions
  • Engaging action sequences
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too over-the-top for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene effectively combines humor, action, and character dynamics to create an engaging and entertaining showdown between Deadpool and Wolverine.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of Deadpool and Wolverine facing off in a comedic yet intense battle is unique and well-executed, adding depth to their characters.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the conflict between Deadpool and Wolverine, driving the action and humor forward effectively.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces mutant powers and a unique post-apocalyptic setting, adding a fresh twist to the action genre. The characters' interactions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.7

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are well-developed, with their distinct personalities and dynamics shining through in the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both Deadpool and Wolverine experience moments of vulnerability and growth during the scene, adding depth to their characters.

Internal Goal: 8

Jonathan Byers' internal goal in this scene is likely survival and possibly revenge for being attacked. His fear of being extinguished and falling out of the sky is evident in his reaction.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to survive the attack and potentially defeat his enemies, Wolverine and Sabretooth. The immediate challenge is the physical fight and danger he is in.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.8

The conflict between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Sabretooth escalates effectively, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with physical and emotional conflicts between characters that create uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes of the battle between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Sabretooth add tension and excitement to the scene, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts and alliances, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in character relationships and the blend of humor and danger.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the idea of family and loyalty, as Deadpool reveals the relationship between Wolverine and Sabretooth, leading to a potential betrayal or confrontation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.2

The scene balances humor and intensity, eliciting a range of emotions from the audience as the battle unfolds.

Dialogue: 8.9

The witty and sarcastic dialogue between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Sabretooth adds humor and depth to the scene, enhancing the character interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and the tension between characters. The stakes are high, and the humor adds an extra layer of interest.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and dynamic, keeping the audience engaged and building tension effectively.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise action lines and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for an action sequence, with clear beats of conflict, resolution, and character dynamics.


Critique
  • The scene opens with a surprising twist, revealing Jonathan Byers instead of Mr. Clarke, which is a clever way to subvert expectations. However, the transition could be smoother to maintain clarity for the audience, as the sudden shift might confuse viewers unfamiliar with the characters.
  • The humor in Deadpool's dialogue is consistent with his character, but the pacing feels slightly off. The comedic timing could be enhanced by allowing for more pauses between jokes, especially after Deadpool's quips about Wolverine and Sabretooth.
  • The introduction of Sabretooth is effective, but the dialogue could be more impactful. Instead of simply stating 'I know you,' a more menacing or memorable line could elevate the tension and establish his character more firmly.
  • Deadpool's interaction with Wolverine, particularly the removal of the sword and the 'baby knife' comment, is humorous but could benefit from a clearer emotional context. Adding a line that reflects their complicated relationship would deepen the moment.
  • The stakes of the impending fight with Sabretooth are established, but the scene lacks a sense of urgency. Incorporating a visual cue or a ticking clock element could heighten the tension and make the audience feel the pressure of the situation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of confusion or realization for Deadpool and Wolverine when they first see Jonathan, which could enhance the comedic effect of the reveal.
  • Revise Sabretooth's introduction to include a more memorable line that establishes his threat level and connection to Wolverine, making the audience more invested in the upcoming confrontation.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by including a line from Deadpool that reflects on his and Wolverine's past encounters with Sabretooth, adding depth to their current predicament.
  • Introduce a visual element that signifies the urgency of the situation, such as a countdown timer or an approaching threat, to create a more intense atmosphere leading into the fight.
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to ensure that each line serves a purpose, whether it's advancing the plot, developing character relationships, or enhancing the humor.



Scene 22 - Desert Duel and the Void's Threat
33 EXT. THE VOID - DESERT WASTELANDS - DAY 33

Sabretooth smiles and squares off. Deadpool backs up.

DEADPOOL
Okay. Good luck, I’m a huge fan...

The two MUTANTS CHARGE each other. Sabretooth throws his
biggest SUNDAY PUNCH, and Wolverine dodges and imperceptibly
SWIPES with his claws.

Sabretooth stops in front of Deadpool.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
What is it, girl? Is there trouble
at the well?

Sabretooth stops, spins around, except his head doesn’t turn
around with his body. Instead, it continues to face the wrong
direction then FALLS CLEAN off his body. Reveal Wolverine’s
claws extended, fresh Sabretooth blood dripping off them.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Big trouble.
(lifting Sabretooth’s
head)
Behold! The head of your precious,
Queen-- Furiosa! I have the
Wolverine. I alone control her. You *
come for me, you come for her.
(to Wolverine)
I’m so sorry. I know it’s
pronounced him. I’m gender blind,
it’s my cross to bear.

WOLVERINE
Who’s next?

PYRO
Toad. You’re up.

Wolverine looks like he could take the whole lot of them with
that kind of ferocity. Unfortunately, a highly unperturbed
Toad nonchalantly flicks his tongue out, using it to pull
down a switch on A GIANT MAGNET TRUCK.

WHOOSH!!! Instantly, Wolverine flies into Deadpool, pulled
backwards by the force of the magnet. Deadpool hits the giant
magnet first before being pinned by Logan’s metallic body.

DEADPOOL
Uh oh.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 50.
33 (CONTINUED) 33

Deadpool looks up just in time to see a big DETACHED SENTINEL
BOOT flying towards them at rocket speed, also pulled by the
magnet.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Holy shit--

WOLVERINE *
Oh fuck. *

The metallic SENTINEL BOOT hits them with the force of a
cannonball.

BLACK OUT.
34 I/E. PRISON TRUCK CAGE - DAY 34

The marauder caravan makes its way across the vast landscape
of the Void.

Wolverine startles awake in a SPHERICAL CAGE being dragged
across the barren landscape. He’s BOUND CHEST TO CHEST WITH
DEADPOOL.

Deadpool’s head rests on Wolverine’s shoulder.

Deadpool raises his head, coming face-to-face with a very
annoyed Wolverine.

DEADPOOL
How long was I asleep?

WOLVERINE
(glances down)
Not all of you was asleep.

SNIKT! Wolverine pops his claws, but the way he’s tied they
just extend helplessly into the air. JONATHAN watches from
the other side of the “prison ball”. Coiled in non-flammable
metal chains.

JONATHAN
Don’t bother. They’re very
thorough.

WOLVERINE
If you know where we are, start
talking.

JONATHAN
You’re in the Void. Think of it as
purgatory. Reed called it a
metaphysical junkyard.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 51.
34 (CONTINUED) 34
JONATHAN (CONT’D)
Where anything useless goes before
it gets annihilated forever. And
where the TVA sends people that
don’t play nice with the rest of
the multiverse.

WOLVERINE
Like you?

JONATHAN
(nods)
And you.

DEADPOOL
What does the annihilating?

JONATHAN
Alioth.

DEADPOOL JONATHAN (CONT’D)
Okay. As long as it’s Alioth is a big purple cloud
realistic and not some big monster.
purple cloud monster or
something.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Fuck, my mouth. *

JONATHAN
Everyone here’s on the run from
Alioth. Most don’t make it. There’s
a resistance though. Other people
like us that managed to survive.
They’re hiding out in the
borderlands. Trying to find a way
the fuck out of here.

WOLVERINE
Then that’s where we go.

That gets Deadpool’s attention. *

WOLVERINE (CONT’D)
These others. They can take us back
to the TVA. Make them fix things. *

DEADPOOL *
Us? We? A team? The answer is yes. *
Shake on it. *
(Wolverine pops his claws) *
Fuck! You nicked it. Just got the *
tip with your little steak knife. *

Jonathan chuckles.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 52.
34 (CONTINUED) (2) 34

WOLVERINE
Something funny, bub?

JONATHAN
She might have something to say
about that.

WOLVERINE
Who’s ‘she?’

Deadpool looks up curiously toward a rusted CCTV camera at
the top of the cell. (We may revisit this later.)

JONATHAN
In the void, you’re either food for
Alioth... or you work for Her...

We widen out as the convoy makes its way across the epic
nothingness of the void.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a barren desert wasteland, Deadpool humorously admires Sabretooth before Wolverine swiftly kills him. Their banter is interrupted when Toad activates a giant magnet, pulling them together and leading to a blackout after being hit by a Sentinel boot. They wake up bound in a prison truck cage in the Void, where Jonathan warns them about the annihilating creature Alioth. Wolverine decides they need to find a resistance group to escape, and Deadpool eagerly agrees, setting the stage for their next adventure amidst the looming danger.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Innovative setting
  • Dynamic character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be confusing for viewers
  • Transition between scenes could be smoother

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, tension, and mystery while introducing new elements to the story and setting up a significant shift in the plot. The dialogue is witty and engaging, and the action sequences add excitement to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the Void as a purgatory-like dimension, the presence of Alioth as a dangerous entity, and the formation of an unlikely team to navigate the Void are innovative and intriguing. These elements add depth to the story and open up new possibilities for the characters.

Plot: 8.5

The plot in this scene is crucial as it introduces a new setting, challenges, and alliances that will impact the overall story. The scene moves the narrative forward significantly and sets the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as mutant characters, a giant magnet truck, and references to a Queen Furiosa, adding a fresh twist to the post-apocalyptic genre. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, particularly Deadpool, Wolverine, and Jonathan, are well-developed in this scene. Their interactions, humor, and reactions to the challenges they face showcase their personalities and strengths.

Character Changes: 8

The characters, especially Deadpool and Wolverine, undergo subtle changes in this scene as they form an unlikely alliance and confront new challenges together. Their interactions and reactions hint at potential growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to survive and navigate the dangerous situation they find themselves in. This reflects their deeper need for self-preservation and their fear of the unknown.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to escape The Void and find a way back to the TVA. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing of being trapped in a dangerous place.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high, with the characters facing a powerful threat in Alioth, internal tensions between the team members, and the challenge of navigating the Void. The stakes are raised, and the tension keeps the audience engaged.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing challenges and obstacles that keep the audience engaged and unsure of the outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, with the characters facing a powerful threat in Alioth, the challenge of navigating the Void, and the need to form alliances to survive. The consequences of failure are significant, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new elements, challenges, and alliances that will impact the characters' journey. It sets the stage for future developments and raises the stakes for the protagonists.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and the introduction of new elements like the giant magnet truck.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between survival and sacrifice. The characters must decide whether to prioritize their own safety or work together to overcome the challenges they face.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, with moments of humor, tension, and curiosity evoking different emotions in the audience. The dynamics between the characters and the looming threat of Alioth add depth to the emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and engaging. It effectively conveys the characters' personalities, motivations, and the tension of the situation. The banter between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Jonathan adds depth to their relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes for the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension and momentum throughout the action sequences and dialogue.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-paced action sequences and dialogue that advances the plot effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively maintains the comedic tone characteristic of Deadpool, particularly through Deadpool's humorous remarks and interactions with Wolverine and Sabretooth. However, the humor sometimes overshadows the stakes of the situation, which could be balanced better to enhance tension.
  • The action sequence between Deadpool and Sabretooth is visually engaging, but the transition from the fight to the introduction of the giant magnet feels abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the flow of the scene and keep the audience engaged.
  • Deadpool's dialogue is witty and in line with his character, but some lines, such as 'I’m gender blind, it’s my cross to bear,' may come off as insensitive or confusing. It's important to ensure that humor does not alienate or offend the audience.
  • The introduction of the giant magnet and the subsequent chaos it causes is a clever plot device, but it could benefit from a clearer setup earlier in the scene. Establishing the magnet's presence beforehand would make its activation feel less sudden and more impactful.
  • The scene ends on a strong cliffhanger with the SENTINEL BOOT hitting Deadpool and Wolverine, but it could be enhanced by a more dramatic buildup to this moment. Building tension through dialogue or action leading up to the impact would heighten the stakes.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or concern from Deadpool before the fight escalates, which could ground the humor and remind the audience of the serious implications of their situation.
  • Introduce the giant magnet earlier in the scene, perhaps through a visual cue or a line of dialogue, to create anticipation for its activation and make the subsequent chaos feel more organic.
  • Revise any potentially insensitive jokes to ensure they align with the overall tone without risking alienation of the audience. Humor should be inclusive and relatable.
  • Enhance the buildup to the SENTINEL BOOT impact by incorporating more tension in the dialogue or actions leading up to it, allowing the audience to feel the weight of the moment.
  • Consider giving Wolverine a more active role in the banter, allowing him to showcase his personality alongside Deadpool's humor, which could create a more dynamic interaction between the two characters.



Scene 23 - Chains of Fate
35 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - DAY 35

The CARAVAN approaches the MASSIVE CARCASS of a GIANT
SKELETON.

The humongous body lays on its stomach, its skeletal CHIN
resting on the ground. Its arms extend in front of it,
creating a massive ARENA-LIKE CIRCLE, its TWO GIANT GLOVED
HANDS overlapping to form a GATE.
36 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - DAY 36

As the CARAVAN APPROACHES, the MASSIVE HANDS begin to part.
The “gate” opens, a mechanical pulley-system being operated
by the BLOB atop the rampart.

The PRISON TRUCK pulls in. There is a hive of activity.
Henchmen eye our heroes suspiciously. Among them is a massive
JUGGERNAUT VARIANT, complete with a Vinnie Jones-style
Helmet.

Jonathan gets yanked out and flung on the ground. Deadpool
and Wolverine get shoved out of the cage into the “arena” of
the GIANT SKELETAL arms. Wolverine lands on top of Deadpool,
repaying the Headbutt. OTHER HENCHMEN shove the other
prisoner from inside the other cage-ball-- who we now notice
is the Minuteman Deadpool made self-prune in the Logan grave
fight sequence!-- onto the ground. A HORN rings out. The
CROWD goes silent.

Then movement and a groaning creak from the Giant Skeletal
head, as the mask rises, revealing the rotted carcass of a
skull inside.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 53.
36 (CONTINUED) 36

DEADPOOL
(marvels at skeleton)
Paul Rudd finally aged.
(off Juggernaut)
You must be this year’s Juggernaut. *
Thank you. *

JUGGERNAUT
(pulls them up from
ground)
Alright, keep your voices down. She
don’t like the chatter.

WOLVERINE
(to: Deadpool)
She’s gonna love you.

Out of the darkness of the skull’s jaw, an old, decrepit
figure wheels out on an ALL-TOO-FAMILIAR WHEEL CHAIR. The
figure’s head is turned down, obscuring their face but
revealing a BALD-HEAD.

DEADPOOL
Is that--is that Charles?!
(to the figure)
HEY, CHUCK! It’s us!

Wolverine’s expression darkens.

WOLVERINE
That’s not Chuck.

JONATHAN
Oh shit.

The bald head rises, revealing the sweet smile of CASSANDRA
NOVA. In silhouette, she’s the mirror-image of Charles
Xavier.

Cassandra rolls forward in the rickety, battle-damaged and
BLOOD-STAINED wheelchair. She comes to a stop, then stands up
and walks down from the giant skull toward our heroes.

DEADPOOL
Oh, ableism. Great. That’s not
gonna go over well with the woke
mob.

Cassandra is curiously cheery, assessing Deadpool and
Wolverine...but something is off.




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 54.
36 (CONTINUED) (2) 36

CASSANDRA NOVA
A Wolverine. I wondered when I’d
get one of you... You’re one of
Xavier’s.

DEADPOOL
You know him? You know Chuck?

CASSANDRA NOVA
Oh, I knew him. We shared a womb.
Tried to strangle the sly little
fellow with my umbilical cord.

DEADPOOL
Amen. I’ve never loved roommates.
Mine’s blind. Except she can see
cocaine... For some reason.
(to Wolverine)
You wanna chime in, your majesty?
I’m dying here.

WOLVERINE *
Who are you?

CASSANDRA NOVA
Charles Xavier’s twin. Cassandra
Nova.

WOLVERINE DEADPOOL
Bullshit. I was an anal birth.

CASSANDRA NOVA
You two are cute. I have a good
feeling about this.

With a gesture, she FREES THEM OF THEIR CHAINS, then, she
walks towards Jonathan Byers.

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
And I’ve been trying to catch this
little firefly for years, haven’t
I, Johnny? You picked the wrong
time to make new friends.

DEADPOOL
Oh, Johnny told us alllll about
you.

WOLVERINE
Maybe shut up now--

JONATHAN
Yeah, maybe don’t--


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 55.
36 (CONTINUED) (3) 36

DEADPOOL
We’re just talking here. Johnny
told us you’re a psychotic
megalomaniacal asshole-- his words
not mine-- hellbent on domination
and pain.

CASSANDRA NOVA
(turns to Jonathan Byers)
You said all that about me?

JONATHAN
No. NO. I didn’t say any of that...

DEADPOOL
(calling over to Jonathan,
LOUDLY)
Sticks ‘n stones, Johnny! Don’t let
her intimidate you! It’s like you
said in the convoy: “this finger-
lickin’ dead-inside Pixie slab of
third rate dime-store nut-milk can
eat your delicious cinnamon ring
and kick rocks all the way to bald
hell.”

JONATHAN
(to Cassandra, pure panic)
Okay, I’ve never said any of those
words in my entire life.

DEADPOOL
HA! The modesty. People think I’m a
shit-talker. But this guy? Is next
level.

JONATHAN
No. He... No. What? I don’t even
know what half of that means--!

DEADPOOL
My hats off to you, sir. Truly.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a massive skeletal arena, Deadpool, Wolverine, and Jonathan are thrown from a prison truck and confronted by Cassandra Nova, Charles Xavier's twin. While Deadpool uses humor to lighten the mood, Wolverine remains skeptical of Cassandra's intentions. Cassandra reveals her interest in Jonathan and frees the heroes from their chains, creating a tense standoff as they navigate the precarious situation.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Dynamic character interactions
  • Intriguing setting
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may be overly comedic
  • Character introductions could be clearer

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is well-crafted with a good balance of humor, mystery, and action. The introduction of Cassandra Nova adds depth to the story, and the banter between the characters keeps the audience engaged. The setting of the giant skeletal arena adds a unique visual element to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of the giant skeletal arena as a unique setting for the characters to interact with Cassandra Nova is innovative and adds depth to the story. The introduction of a new character with ties to Charles Xavier creates intrigue and sets up future conflicts.

Plot: 8.7

The plot of the scene is engaging, with the introduction of Cassandra Nova and the revelation of her connection to Charles Xavier driving the story forward. The conflict between the characters and the high stakes of the situation add tension and excitement to the scene.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as the giant skeletal arena, the character of Cassandra Nova, and the witty banter between the protagonists. The dialogue and interactions feel fresh and engaging, adding authenticity to the characters' actions.


Character Development

Characters: 8.8

The characters are well-developed, with Deadpool's humor contrasting with Wolverine's seriousness and Jonathan's panic. The introduction of Cassandra Nova as a mysterious and powerful figure adds depth to the character dynamics and sets up future conflicts.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo subtle changes in the scene, with Deadpool showing vulnerability and humor, Wolverine revealing a protective side, and Jonathan facing his fears. The introduction of Cassandra Nova sets up potential character arcs and conflicts.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the dangerous situation they find themselves in and potentially uncover more about the mysterious characters they encounter. This reflects their need for survival and understanding in a hostile environment.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to survive the challenges presented in the giant skeletal arena and potentially find a way to escape or overcome their adversaries. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and threats they are facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.7

The conflict in the scene is palpable, with tensions rising between the characters as they interact with Cassandra Nova and navigate the high stakes of the situation. The introduction of new threats and challenges adds depth to the conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonists facing physical threats, psychological manipulation, and moral dilemmas. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters will overcome the challenges.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, with the characters facing threats from Cassandra Nova and the mysterious arena. The introduction of new challenges and conflicts raises the stakes and sets the stage for future confrontations.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, introducing a new character, setting up conflicts, and advancing the plot. The revelation of Cassandra Nova's identity and her connection to Charles Xavier adds depth to the narrative and sets up future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected character reveals, the shifting power dynamics, and the witty twists in dialogue. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around power dynamics, deception, and manipulation. Cassandra Nova's character challenges the protagonists' beliefs and values, creating a sense of moral ambiguity and uncertainty.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.4

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, with moments of humor, tension, and intrigue keeping the audience engaged. The revelation of Cassandra Nova's identity and her connection to Charles Xavier adds an emotional depth to the scene.

Dialogue: 8.9

The dialogue in the scene is witty, humorous, and engaging, capturing the distinct voices of each character. The banter between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Jonathan adds to the comedic tone of the scene while also revealing important information about Cassandra Nova.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of action, humor, and suspense. The interactions between the characters, the unfolding mystery, and the witty dialogue keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action sequences, character interactions, and dialogue. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness in building tension and suspense.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The visual elements are well-defined and contribute to the overall atmosphere.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension, introduces new characters, and advances the plot. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively sets up a visually striking environment with the giant skeletal arena, which serves as a unique backdrop for the characters' interactions. However, the description could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience further into the setting, such as sounds, smells, or the atmosphere of tension in the air.
  • Deadpool's humor is consistent with his character, but some of the jokes feel a bit forced or overly reliant on pop culture references. While humor is a key element of Deadpool's persona, balancing it with the gravity of the situation could enhance the stakes and emotional weight of the scene.
  • Cassandra Nova's introduction is intriguing, but her motivations and character could be fleshed out more. Providing a clearer sense of her intentions and how they relate to the main characters would help ground the conflict and make her a more compelling antagonist.
  • The dialogue between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Cassandra is witty, but it sometimes veers into chaotic territory, making it hard for the audience to follow. Streamlining the exchanges and ensuring that each character's voice remains distinct could improve clarity and engagement.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven at times, particularly with the rapid-fire dialogue. While this is characteristic of Deadpool, it can lead to moments where the audience may struggle to keep up. Consider allowing for brief pauses or reactions to give the audience time to absorb the humor and tension.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the sensory details of the setting to create a more immersive experience for the audience. Describe the sounds of the skeletal arena, the atmosphere, and any unique visual elements that contribute to the mood.
  • Consider refining some of Deadpool's jokes to ensure they serve the narrative and character development rather than relying solely on pop culture references. This could help maintain the scene's emotional stakes.
  • Provide more context for Cassandra Nova's character and motivations. This could involve a brief backstory or hints at her plans that would make her a more formidable and relatable antagonist.
  • Streamline the dialogue exchanges to maintain clarity while preserving the humor. Ensure that each character's voice is distinct and that their motivations are clear in their interactions.
  • Adjust the pacing by incorporating moments of silence or reaction to allow the audience to digest the humor and tension. This could help balance the rapid-fire dialogue and enhance the overall impact of the scene.



Scene 24 - Disintegration and Dark Humor
37 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - DAY 37

WHOOSH.

All the skin on Jonathan’s body rips away in a blink. The
blood, organs, and bone all hang in the air for a moment
before gush-thumping to the ground in a hideous pile of
lungs, heart, liver, blood, and bones. The spine and skull
stay upright in the viscera-pile for an agonizing extra
beat...before tipping over like a limp tree in the woods.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 56.
37 (CONTINUED) 37

What. The holy. HELL. Wolvie looks quietly horrified.

DEADPOOL
Not my favorite Chris.

WOLVERINE
You stupid piece of shit, you just
got him fucking killed--

DEADPOOL
Hey: we’re all grieving. And PS, DO
YOU KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING TO THE
BUDGET?!

CASSANDRA NOVA
Shhh... Alioth is hungry.

In the distance, Deadpool clocks a GIANT WHIRLING PURPLE
CLOUD on the horizon. Cassandra walks toward it, looking out
at the horizon.

DEADPOOL
There’s been some kind of mistake. *
Big Yellow is a backup Anchor *
Being, and I’m Marvel Jesus. MJ if
you’re nasty. There’s a guy at the *
TVA who is going to destroy my *
universe, and I’m gonna stop it. *

CASSANDRA NOVA
Oh, honey. You don’t really strike
me as the world-saving type-- did I
hit a nerve?

She did.

DEADPOOL
I didn’t want it to come to this.
Either you help us, or my friend
here is gonna sing the entire
second act of Music Man with zero
warm up.

WOLVERINE
Where’d ya get the chair?

CASSANDRA NOVA
Once in a while I do get a Charles
through here. Never mine though. He
didn’t care to find me.




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 57.
37 (CONTINUED) (2) 37

DEADPOOL
(quiet, to Wolvie)
Ugh, Gen-Z and their trauma
bragging. Can’t you just stuff it
down? Turn it into accomplishment
or cancer like the rest of us.

CASSANDRA NOVA *
But I’m not like the rest of you. *
Except maybe the Wolverine. Now we *
could be truly terrifying together. *

WOLVERINE
You’re that scary, huh?

CASSANDRA NOVA
The TVA certainly thought so. They *
sent me here before I could walk. *
It was the best thing that ever *
happened to me. I love it here. *

DEADPOOL
You live in a garbage dump.

CASSANDRA NOVA
I think we both know who lives in *
the garbage dump. The Void is a *
paradise. I can wield my power here *
without shame. *

DEADPOOL
(over it) *
And what power would that be? *

CASSANDRA NOVA
A dash of this, a dash of that.
You’ll see.

DEADPOOL
A grower not a shower. Respect.

CASSANDRA NOVA *
But I had no Charles Xavier to *
teach me temperance. What about *
your Charles? Did he protect you?
Did he make you feel safe?

WOLVERINE
We’re mutants. We’re never safe.

SNIKT!

WOLVERINE (CONT’D)
AAAAARRGHHHH!!!!
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 58.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a giant skeletal arena, Jonathan gruesomely disintegrates, leaving only blood and organs, horrifying Wolverine while Deadpool makes light of the situation with jokes about the budget. Cassandra Nova hints at her powers and past with the TVA, engaging in a tense conversation with Deadpool and Wolverine about their traumas and the need for her assistance against a looming threat. The scene blends dark comedy with horror, culminating in Wolverine's scream of pain, signaling an escalation in tension.
Strengths
  • Witty dialogue
  • Engaging action sequences
  • Complex character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Some moments of tonal inconsistency
  • Lack of clarity in certain character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, tension, and conflict, keeping the audience engaged. The witty dialogue and unexpected twists enhance the overall entertainment value.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, involving the characters facing off against a powerful entity in the Void, is intriguing and adds a new layer to the storyline. The introduction of Cassandra Nova as a complex character enhances the overall narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene is driven by the characters' interactions and the looming threat of Alioth. The introduction of Cassandra Nova and the revelation of her connection to Charles Xavier add depth to the storyline.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original, with a mix of supernatural elements, dark humor, and philosophical conflicts. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and fresh, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly Deadpool, Wolverine, and Cassandra Nova, are well-developed and showcase their unique personalities through their dialogue and actions. The banter between Deadpool and Wolverine adds humor, while Cassandra Nova's mysterious nature adds intrigue.

Character Changes: 8

The characters, particularly Deadpool and Wolverine, undergo some changes in their dynamic as they face new challenges and revelations. The introduction of Cassandra Nova also prompts a shift in the character dynamics.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to convince Cassandra Nova to help stop the destruction of his universe. This reflects his deeper desire to save his world and his fear of failure.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to stop the destruction of his universe by a guy at the TVA. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing and the urgency of the situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high, with the characters facing off against Alioth and dealing with internal tensions. The banter and confrontations between the characters add to the overall conflict and keep the audience engaged.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs and goals between the characters. The audience is left unsure of how the situation will unfold.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes in the scene are high, with the characters facing a powerful entity in the Void and dealing with internal conflicts and external threats. The outcome of their actions could have significant consequences for the storyline.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new elements, such as Cassandra Nova and the threat of Alioth, while also developing the relationships between the characters. The stakes are raised as the characters confront a powerful entity in the Void.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the dialogue and character interactions. The audience is kept on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Cassandra Nova's view of the Void as a paradise where she can wield power without shame, and Deadpool's sarcastic and dismissive attitude towards her beliefs. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about power and morality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, with moments of tension, humor, and conflict evoking a range of emotions from the audience. The interactions between the characters add depth to their relationships and motivations.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is witty, sarcastic, and engaging, reflecting the personalities of the characters involved. The banter between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Cassandra Nova adds depth to their interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of horror, humor, and philosophical conflicts. The witty banter and unexpected twists keep the audience hooked.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective, with a good balance of action, dialogue, and description. It keeps the audience engaged and builds tension.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. It is easy to follow and engaging.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene opens with a shocking and graphic moment that sets a dark tone, which contrasts sharply with Deadpool's humor. While this juxtaposition is characteristic of Deadpool's style, the transition from horror to comedy can feel jarring. The writer should consider how to balance these tones more smoothly to maintain the audience's engagement without losing the impact of either element.
  • Deadpool's quips about the budget and Jonathan's death serve to highlight his irreverent nature, but they may come off as insensitive given the gravity of the situation. This could alienate some audience members who might expect a more serious reaction to such a gruesome event. The writer should explore how Deadpool's humor can coexist with genuine emotional responses from the characters.
  • Cassandra Nova's dialogue reveals her backstory and motivations, but it could benefit from more clarity. The mention of her relationship with Charles Xavier is intriguing, yet it feels somewhat rushed. Expanding on her character's history and her feelings about being abandoned could add depth and make her a more compelling antagonist.
  • Wolverine's reaction to Jonathan's death is appropriately horrified, but his dialogue could be more impactful. Instead of just calling Deadpool a 'stupid piece of shit,' he could express a deeper sense of loss or frustration, which would enhance the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven, particularly with the rapid shifts between horror, humor, and exposition. The writer should consider the rhythm of the dialogue and the timing of the jokes to ensure that the scene flows more naturally and maintains tension throughout.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or a more serious reflection from Deadpool after Jonathan's gruesome death to allow the audience to process the shock before diving back into humor.
  • Explore Deadpool's internal conflict regarding his humor in the face of tragedy. This could be done through a brief monologue or a moment of hesitation before he cracks a joke.
  • Expand on Cassandra Nova's motivations and her relationship with Charles Xavier. This could be done through a flashback or a more detailed conversation that reveals her emotional state and desires.
  • Enhance Wolverine's dialogue to reflect a deeper emotional response to Jonathan's death. This could involve him expressing regret or anger, which would add layers to his character and the situation.
  • Revisit the pacing of the scene to ensure that the transitions between horror, humor, and exposition feel more organic. This could involve restructuring the dialogue or adding pauses to allow the audience to absorb the gravity of the situation.



Scene 25 - Buried Fears
38 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - DAY 38

Wolverine LUNGES at Cassandra. Cassandra stops him in his
tracks and then, with a wave, flings him back and into the
ground. Buried alive.

His SIX-CLAWS poke up out of the ground, the only part of him
still visible. Cassandra motions again, and the claws cut
through the ground as the subterranean Logan is shoved away.
The claws cut through the dirt like a SHARK-FIN through
water.

DEADPOOL
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don’t want the
smoke. I don’t have any beef with
you. I just want to save my
friends. I just-- I want to go
home.

CASSANDRA NOVA
Well the thing is I could get you
home.

DEADPOOL
Good.

CASSANDRA NOVA
But I don’t...want to? *

Suddenly, impossibly, Cassandra Nova is BEHIND him,
whispering in his ear. Deadpool is frozen, powerless...

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
What DO you want, Wade Wilson?

Her hand SNAKES up the back of his head, a seductive scalp
massage.

DEADPOOL
Your fingers are inside me, but not
in a good way.

CASSANDRA NOVA
My brother could enter one’s mind
with a thought. I have to get my
hands dirty.

Her fingers impossibly ENTER the back of his head and then
her fingertips poke through his forehead.

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
Shhhhh. I’ve got you.

SMASH CUT TO:
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 59.

39 IMAGES (UNFILTERED) FROM WADE’S BRAIN. 39
*

CASSANDRA NOVA (O.S.)
I’ve got you...

We see KALEIDOSCOPIC FLASHES of Deadpool/Wade from the first
two movies; images of heroism, joy, connection. The images
swirl into a flashback of BUSTER KEATON, saying the words
that will break Wade’s heart. Another shot shows us HAROLD
LLOYD escorting Wade out. We hold on Wade’s crestfallen
visage as the door closes behind him. Then we see Wade
staring at his Deadpool suit, eyes listless. Then in his new
uniform at DriveMax. We see him standing outside in the
middle of the car lot. Sad. Lost.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a giant skeletal arena, Wolverine attempts to attack Cassandra Nova but is swiftly overpowered and buried alive, leaving only his claws visible. Deadpool, caught in the chaos, pleads for freedom, but Cassandra reveals she has the power to help him but chooses not to. She invades Deadpool's mind, freezing him in fear and manipulating his thoughts, leading to a surreal exploration of his past filled with joy and heartbreak. The scene is tense and unsettling, highlighting the emotional struggle against Cassandra's overwhelming control.
Strengths
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
  • Humorous dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Potential confusion with the introduction of Cassandra Nova

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a mix of humor, tension, and emotional depth. It effectively introduces a new powerful character and sets up a complex dynamic between her and Deadpool.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of mind manipulation and emotional flashbacks adds depth to the scene, creating a unique and engaging narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Deadpool seeks help from Cassandra Nova, leading to a pivotal moment in their relationship.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique power dynamic between Cassandra Nova and Deadpool, with surreal and visually striking imagery. The dialogue is fresh and witty, adding authenticity to the characters' interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Deadpool and Cassandra Nova are well-developed, with complex motivations and interactions that drive the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Deadpool experiences a significant emotional shift as he confronts his past and seeks help from Cassandra Nova.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal in this scene is to save his friends and go home. This reflects his deeper desire for connection and belonging, as well as his fear of being alone or abandoned.

External Goal: 7.5

Deadpool's external goal in this scene is to avoid conflict with Cassandra Nova and find a way to get home. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing of being manipulated and controlled by a powerful adversary.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict between Deadpool and Cassandra Nova creates tension and drives the emotional stakes of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Cassandra Nova posing a significant threat to Deadpool's goals. The audience is unsure of how he will overcome this challenge.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes are established as Deadpool seeks help to save his friends and find a way home, facing manipulation and danger from Cassandra Nova.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new powerful character and setting up future conflicts and alliances.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the power dynamics between the characters. The audience is kept guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between power and control. Cassandra Nova's ability to manipulate Deadpool challenges his beliefs about agency and autonomy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, especially with the flashback sequences and the intense interaction between the characters.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and emotionally charged, adding depth to the character interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of action, humor, and suspense. The dynamic between Cassandra Nova and Deadpool keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a good balance of action and dialogue. The rhythm keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear action lines and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension by showcasing Cassandra Nova's power and Deadpool's vulnerability. However, the transition from physical confrontation to psychological manipulation could be more seamless. The abrupt shift from Wolverine's struggle to Deadpool's dialogue feels slightly disjointed, which may confuse the audience about the stakes.
  • Deadpool's humor is a hallmark of the character, but in this scene, it risks undermining the gravity of the situation. While his quips provide comic relief, they may detract from the emotional weight of Wolverine's predicament and the threat posed by Cassandra. Balancing humor with the seriousness of the moment is crucial.
  • Cassandra's character is intriguing, but her motivations could be clearer. While she expresses a desire to not help Deadpool, the reasoning behind her reluctance is vague. Providing a more defined motivation for her actions could enhance the conflict and deepen the audience's understanding of her character.
  • The visual imagery of Wolverine's claws cutting through the ground is a strong metaphor for his struggle, but it could be expanded upon. Describing the physical sensations or the emotional weight of being buried alive would enhance the reader's connection to Wolverine's plight.
  • The kaleidoscopic images from Wade's brain are a creative way to explore his past, but they may feel overwhelming if not grounded in the narrative. Ensuring that these flashbacks serve a clear purpose in advancing the plot or character development will help maintain focus.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection from Deadpool before he engages with Cassandra. This could provide insight into his emotional state and heighten the stakes of the scene.
  • To maintain the tension, try to limit Deadpool's humor during the initial confrontation with Cassandra. Allow the gravity of the situation to resonate before introducing levity.
  • Clarify Cassandra's motivations by incorporating a line or two that hints at her past or her connection to the larger conflict. This will make her character more compelling and the stakes more pronounced.
  • Enhance the description of Wolverine's struggle by incorporating sensory details that evoke the feeling of being trapped. This could create a stronger emotional impact for the audience.
  • Ensure that the kaleidoscopic flashbacks are tied directly to Deadpool's current emotional state. Consider using a voiceover or internal monologue to connect these memories to his present feelings of loss and longing.



Scene 26 - The Breaking Point
40 INT. WADE’S APARTMENT - FLASHBACK - DAY 40

Other flashes of Wade as VANESSA breaks up with him...Wade’s
pain is etched all over his face. Vanessa reaches for his
hand, eyes empathetic... *

WADE
What do you mean?

VANESSA *
I just feel like I don’t know where *
you are. I can’t reach you. You’re *
not here. *

WADE *
I’m right here. *

VANESSA *
No, you’re not. I can’t-- *

WADE *
I’m right here. *

VANESSA *
Then show me. You’ve got to do
something.

WADE
Show you what?

VANESSA
Show me you care about something *
bigger than you. Ever since they *
turned you down, you took a knee. *
Baby, you never got back up. *
(beat) *
Your crazy matches my crazy. *
Remember? Where did you go? *



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 60.
40 (CONTINUED) 40

WADE
(hurt) *
Oh my god. You just say it, okay? *
Say “I don’t want you. I don’t want
to be with you.” Go ahead. Say it.
Say you don’t want to be with me.
Say it and I’ll walk away. Say “I
don’t want you.”

Vanessa sighs. A heaviness weighing on her.

WADE (CONT’D)
Oh fuck.

VANESSA
You’ll never fucking matter.

WADE
(hurt, in flashback)
What?

VANESSA
(but now with Cassandra’s
voice)
You’ll never... fucking matter.

And we’re rapidly ripped away from her, through what feels
like a tunnel and into a Deadpool mask and back into:
Genres: ["Drama","Romance"]

Summary In a poignant flashback set in Wade's apartment, Vanessa confronts Wade about their emotional disconnect, expressing her disappointment in his lack of presence and urging him to care about something beyond himself. Wade, in deep pain, pleads for clarity, ultimately leading to Vanessa's heartbreaking declaration that he will never matter. The scene captures the heavy tension and melancholy of their breakup, ending with a jarring transition to another voice, indicating Wade's ongoing emotional struggle.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Poignant dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Focused on internal struggles

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys deep emotions and conflict, drawing the audience into Wade's pain and inner turmoil. The dialogue is impactful and reveals layers of the characters' emotions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring Wade's past relationship and the pain of rejection is compelling and adds layers to his character. The scene effectively conveys the theme of loss and emotional struggle.

Plot: 8

The plot progression focuses on the emotional conflict between Wade and Vanessa, deepening the character dynamics and setting the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its authentic portrayal of a breakup conversation and the characters' emotional responses. The dialogue feels genuine and relatable, adding depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Wade and Vanessa are well-developed, showcasing their vulnerabilities and emotional complexities. The scene highlights their relationship dynamics and individual struggles.

Character Changes: 8

Wade experiences a significant emotional change as he confronts Vanessa's rejection and reflects on his past actions. This moment marks a turning point in his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand and express his emotions in response to the breakup. It reflects his deeper need for validation and connection, as well as his fear of rejection and abandonment.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to confront Vanessa and seek closure in their relationship. It reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with the breakup and moving on.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily emotional and internal, focusing on the pain of rejection and the struggle for self-acceptance.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, with Vanessa challenging Wade's beliefs and pushing him to confront his emotions. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of their conversation.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are primarily emotional and personal, revolving around Wade's sense of self-worth and his relationship with Vanessa.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene focuses more on character development and emotional depth, it sets the stage for future conflicts and resolutions in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between the characters and the unexpected emotional revelations. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the confrontation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between personal desires and self-worth. Vanessa challenges Wade to show that he cares about something bigger than himself, highlighting the importance of personal growth and self-awareness.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly in relation to Wade's pain and vulnerability. It creates a poignant and memorable moment.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is poignant and impactful, revealing the characters' inner thoughts and emotions. It drives the emotional core of the scene and enhances the character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional intensity and raw vulnerability displayed by the characters. The audience is drawn into the conflict and invested in the outcome of the conversation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and emotional stakes, with well-timed pauses and dramatic beats. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the intensity of the confrontation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of this scene adheres to the standard conventions of screenplay format, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. It is easy to follow and visually engaging.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for a dramatic confrontation in a screenplay, with clear character motivations and emotional beats. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the intensity of the scene.


Critique
  • The emotional weight of the scene is palpable, effectively showcasing Wade's vulnerability and the depth of his relationship with Vanessa. The dialogue captures the essence of their disconnect, making it relatable and poignant.
  • The use of Vanessa's voice transitioning into Cassandra's is a clever narrative device that emphasizes Wade's internal struggles and the haunting nature of his past. This technique effectively ties the emotional stakes of the flashback to the present conflict.
  • However, the scene could benefit from a clearer visual distinction between the flashback and the present moment. While the emotional transition is strong, the audience may need more visual cues to differentiate the timelines, such as changes in lighting or camera angles.
  • The dialogue, while impactful, occasionally feels repetitive, particularly in Wade's insistence that he is 'right here.' This repetition could be streamlined to maintain the emotional intensity without losing momentum.
  • The abrupt transition from Vanessa's voice to Cassandra's could be more gradual. A smoother transition might enhance the emotional impact and allow the audience to fully absorb the weight of Wade's realization before being thrust back into the present.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding visual elements that signify the shift between the flashback and the present, such as a change in color grading or a brief fade to black before transitioning back to the Deadpool mask.
  • Streamline the dialogue to reduce repetition. For example, instead of having Wade repeatedly assert his presence, he could express his feelings in a more varied manner, which would keep the dialogue fresh and engaging.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by incorporating more physicality in the scene. For instance, showing Wade's body language—his posture, facial expressions, or even tears—could deepen the audience's connection to his pain.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a brief moment of silence or a pause after Vanessa's final line before the transition. This could allow the weight of her words to resonate more with both Wade and the audience.
  • Consider using sound design to emphasize the emotional shift. For example, a subtle change in background music or sound effects could enhance the transition from the intimate moment with Vanessa to the more chaotic present.



Scene 27 - Escape from the Skeletal Arena
41 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - DAY 41

Deadpool is in fact staring at Cassandra who is the real
source of the voice.

CASSANDRA NOVA
...fucking...matter.

DEADPOOL
She never said that!

CASSANDRA NOVA *
No. But I bet she thought it. *

Cassandra CRUELLY YANKS her fingers out of Deadpool’s head.

DEADPOOL
You are SO MEAN! My brain could
taste your fingers! AND THEY TASTED
LIKE HATE! And where in God’s name
is the intimacy coordinator?!!

CASSANDRA NOVA
You’re so lost, Mr. Wilson. And
long before you came here.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 61.
41 (CONTINUED) 41

Deadpool removes the baby knife from his holster. Holds it in
front of him.

DEADPOOL
This is baby knife. She’s going to
fuck you in the face now.

CASSANDRA NOVA
If you want to kill me it’s gonna
take more than a little blade.

DEADPOOL
How ‘bout six?

Jump scare! Wolvie sinks BOTH CLAWS into her back. Cassandra
looks down at the claws poking through her chest. She arches
back, writhing in pain.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Ha, ha, ha! My boy’s WICKED STRONG!
That’s my BIG BOY! Yes, you are.

Cassandra looks down at the claws still protruding from her
torso. *

She smacks her open hand against her chest like swatting a
fly. Violently forcing Wolvie’s arms/claws out of her and
sending Wolvie skittering back.

Cassandra squares off to face Wolvie and Deadpool. In the
distance behind her, closing in fast, ALIOTH is now near-- a
monstrous purple cloud monster speeding through the sky and
coming in hot.

CASSANDRA
(heads back to her SKULL)
Well this has been fun, but the big
guy needs to eat and the rent is
due. By the way, you’re the rent.

Alioth looms massive in the air. The bound Minuteman prisoner
shakes and whimpers feebly, knowing the end is near. Deadpool
and Wolverine look over at him.

MINUTEMAN
Please! Get me outta here...!

DEADPOOL
Don’t you worry about a goddamn *
thing. I’ve got you. You’re going *
to be just fine. *
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 62.

42 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - DAY 42

BOOM! JUMP-SCARE! *

In quick cuts, Wolverine grabs a SENTINEL FOOT. Fires it up.

43 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - DAY 43

WOLVERINE
(to Deadpool)
You coming, or what?

DEADPOOL *
(to Minuteman) *
I’ll pray for you. Bye! *

In a blink, Alioth slams down and takes out the Minuteman *
prisoner from the dirt, gone without a trace, in a heartbeat. *

Alioth circles back now, filling the sky above the skull. *

DEADPOOL (CONT’D) *
Coming, daddy. *

Deadpool SLAMS onto Wolverine and the foot ROCKETS away at
lightning speed, zooming far off toward the endless horizon.

SMASH CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a surreal skeletal arena, Deadpool confronts the powerful Cassandra Nova, who reveals herself as the source of a voice he heard earlier. Despite Deadpool's disdain and his attempt to attack with a baby knife, Cassandra easily overpowers Wolverine when he tries to help. As the monstrous entity Alioth approaches, Cassandra declares Deadpool and Wolverine as the 'rent' that needs to be paid. A Minuteman prisoner pleads for assistance but is consumed by Alioth, highlighting the dire situation. The scene culminates with Deadpool jumping onto Wolverine as they escape on a Sentinel foot, racing away from the impending danger.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of action and comedy
  • Engaging character dynamics
  • Tension-building with Alioth
Weaknesses
  • Some elements of humor may not resonate with all audiences
  • Complexity of character relationships may require prior knowledge

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene effectively combines action, humor, and tension, keeping the audience engaged and intrigued.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of the scene, involving Deadpool, Wolverine, Cassandra Nova, and Alioth, is engaging and sets up a compelling conflict.

Plot: 8.7

The plot of the scene advances the story by introducing new challenges and escalating the conflict between the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene features unique situations, fresh dialogue, and authentic character actions, contributing to its originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, particularly Deadpool, Wolverine, and Cassandra Nova, are well-developed and their interactions add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters, especially Deadpool, undergo subtle changes in their motivations and relationships, setting up potential growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal is to protect the Minuteman prisoner and assert his strength and bravery in the face of danger. This reflects his deeper desire to be seen as a hero and to prove himself worthy.

External Goal: 7.5

Deadpool's external goal is to defeat Cassandra Nova and save the Minuteman prisoner. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.8

The conflict between the characters, the looming threat of Alioth, and the internal struggles add tension to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Cassandra Nova posing a significant threat to Deadpool and the Minuteman prisoner.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high with the looming threat of Alioth, the conflict between the characters, and the potential consequences of their actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new challenges, escalating the conflict, and setting up future events.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists and turns in the action and dialogue.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between power and vulnerability, as seen in the struggle between Deadpool and Cassandra Nova. This challenges Deadpool's beliefs about strength and courage.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.2

The scene elicits a range of emotions from tension to amusement, engaging the audience on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 8.6

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reveals the personalities of the characters effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and suspenseful moments.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension and keeping the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear action lines and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and humorous tone characteristic of Deadpool, particularly through Deadpool's witty dialogue and the absurdity of the situation. However, the humor sometimes overshadows the emotional stakes, particularly regarding the Minuteman's plight. Balancing humor with the gravity of the situation could enhance the scene's impact.
  • Cassandra Nova's character is portrayed as both menacing and cruel, which is effective in establishing her as a formidable antagonist. However, her motivations could be clearer. Providing a brief insight into why she sees Deadpool and Wolverine as 'the rent' would deepen the audience's understanding of her character and the stakes involved.
  • The dialogue is sharp and fits the characters well, but some lines, particularly Deadpool's, could be trimmed for brevity. For instance, the line about the baby knife could be more impactful if it were more concise, allowing the humor to land without feeling overly verbose.
  • The transition from the mind manipulation to the physical confrontation is abrupt. While this aligns with Deadpool's chaotic nature, a smoother transition could help maintain narrative flow. Consider adding a moment where Deadpool's realization of the danger leads to a more instinctive reaction rather than a sudden jump to action.
  • The visual elements, such as the giant skeletal arena and the looming threat of Alioth, are compelling and create a vivid backdrop. However, the scene could benefit from more descriptive language to enhance the atmosphere. For example, describing the sound of Alioth or the reactions of the characters to its presence could heighten tension.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a line or two that hints at Cassandra's motivations or backstory to provide context for her actions and make her a more rounded character.
  • Trim some of Deadpool's dialogue to maintain pacing and ensure that the humor complements rather than overwhelms the emotional stakes of the scene.
  • Introduce a moment of hesitation or realization for Deadpool before he jumps into action, which could create a more organic transition from the mind manipulation to the physical confrontation.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the setting and characters' reactions to Alioth to build tension and immerse the audience further in the scene.
  • Explore the Minuteman's fear and desperation more deeply, perhaps through a brief internal monologue or a more visceral reaction, to elevate the stakes and contrast with Deadpool's humor.



Scene 28 - Cliffside Antics
44 EXT. THE VOID - CLIFF TOP - LATER 44

Wolvie and Deadpool slam against the hard rock face at the
top of a cliff and are smashed up and over, the sentinel boot
skittering away. Wolvie and Deadpool come to a rolling stop
on the grasslands above.

Deadpool clings to Wolverine.

DEADPOOL
Whatcha thinking about?

WOLVERINE
Get the fuck off of me!

DEADPOOL
I’m almost done.

WOLVERINE
Almost done what?

DEADPOOL
Getting my knife out of your
buttocks, you pervert.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 63.
44 (CONTINUED) 44

Deadpool pulls his knife out of Wolverine’s buttock. Wolvie
flings Deadpool off.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Get your mind out of my pants. *

WOLVERINE
New rules: I talk now.

DEADPOOL
That’s gonna be very hard on the
audience.

WOLVERINE
Shut the fuck up. Let me fucking
think. We’ve gotta get back to
Paradox, right? RIGHT?

Beat.

DEADPOOL
Je m’excuse. Am I allowed to speak
now--

WOLVERINE
Just nod, asshole.

Deadpool nods.

WOLVERINE (CONT’D)
Right. Then we find the others that
poor kid was talking about before
you got him killed.

DEADPOOL
‘Poor kid’??? He’s like, FIFTY!!!

WOLVERINE
If there’s a chance they know how
to get out of here, we find them.
We make those TVA fuckers fix my
shit like you fucking promised.

DEADPOOL
I smell a quest.

Wolverine eyes Deadpool. He turns toward the diner
incongruously perched on the horizon.

WOLVERINE
I smell food.




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 64.
44 (CONTINUED) (2) 44

DEADPOOL *
Have you had your blood pressure *
checked? Because buba, you get hot. *
Genres: ["Action","Comedy"]

Summary Wolverine and Deadpool crash onto a cliff top, leading to a humorous exchange as Deadpool clings to Wolverine while trying to retrieve his knife. Wolverine, frustrated by Deadpool's antics, insists they need to find help to escape their dire situation. Despite the urgency, Deadpool maintains a playful demeanor, making jokes throughout. The scene shifts from chaos to a mundane concern as Wolverine expresses a craving for food, highlighting the absurdity of their predicament.
Strengths
  • Dynamic character interaction
  • Witty dialogue
  • Plot progression
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant character development
  • Limited emotional depth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, tension, and character dynamics, providing an entertaining and engaging interaction between Deadpool and Wolverine.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Deadpool and Wolverine navigating a dangerous situation while bantering adds depth to their characters and advances the plot.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses as the characters discuss their next steps and the stakes involved, setting up further developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its blend of action, humor, and character development. The dialogue feels authentic and the characters' actions are unique and unexpected.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are well-developed and their contrasting personalities create engaging dynamics in the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there is no significant character change in this scene, there is a subtle shift in the dynamic between Deadpool and Wolverine.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to make a plan to escape the situation they are in and find a way back to safety. This reflects their desire for survival and the need to protect themselves and others.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to find the others mentioned by the kid and seek their help in getting out of the dangerous situation they are in.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict as the characters discuss their next steps and the tension between them rises.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and tension between the characters. The audience is unsure of how the situation will unfold.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are raised as the characters discuss their dangerous situation and the need to confront Mr. Paradox.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by setting up the characters' next actions and the challenges they will face.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the dialogue and the characters' actions. The audience is kept on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

There is a philosophical conflict between Wolverine's serious and focused demeanor and Deadpool's sarcastic and humorous attitude. This challenges Wolverine's beliefs about the importance of the mission and the need for seriousness in the face of danger.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene balances humor with underlying tension, creating an emotional impact that keeps the audience engaged.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, sharp, and reveals insights into the characters' motivations and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic between the characters, the high stakes of the situation, and the blend of action and humor.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast-paced and dynamic, keeping the audience engaged and moving the story forward effectively.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue. The action is easy to follow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm are well-executed.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the comedic dynamic between Deadpool and Wolverine, showcasing their contrasting personalities. Deadpool's humor and Wolverine's gruffness create a fun interplay that is characteristic of their relationship.
  • The dialogue flows well, with Deadpool's quips providing levity amidst the chaos of their situation. However, some lines could be tightened for greater impact. For instance, Wolverine's line about talking could be more succinct to enhance the urgency of the moment.
  • The physical comedy of Deadpool retrieving his knife from Wolverine's buttocks is a classic Deadpool moment, but it risks overshadowing the more serious undertones of their predicament. Balancing humor with the gravity of their situation could enhance the emotional stakes.
  • Wolverine's frustration is palpable, but the transition from humor to seriousness could be smoother. The shift from Deadpool's lightheartedness to Wolverine's determination to find the others feels slightly abrupt. A more gradual transition could enhance the scene's flow.
  • The mention of the 'poor kid' adds a layer of depth to the narrative, hinting at the consequences of their actions. However, it could be more impactful if Deadpool's reaction to the kid's age was tied more closely to the emotional weight of their situation, perhaps reflecting on the loss of life in a more serious tone.
  • The visual description of the cliff and the grasslands is minimal. Adding more sensory details could enhance the setting, making it feel more immersive and emphasizing the contrast between the chaos of their escape and the calmness of the landscape.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening Wolverine's dialogue to make it more impactful. For example, instead of 'Let me fucking think,' a more concise 'Let me think' could maintain the urgency without losing his character.
  • Balance the humor with the emotional stakes by allowing Deadpool to reflect briefly on the consequences of their actions, perhaps acknowledging the loss of the 'poor kid' in a more serious manner before returning to humor.
  • Enhance the setting by incorporating more sensory details, such as the sound of the wind, the feel of the grass, or the distant sight of the diner, to create a more vivid atmosphere.
  • Smooth the transition between humor and seriousness by allowing a moment of silence or a pause in dialogue where Wolverine's frustration can be felt before he shifts to the quest, giving the audience a moment to absorb the gravity of their situation.
  • Consider adding a visual gag or action that reinforces the comedic tone while also serving the narrative, such as Deadpool accidentally tripping over something as he tries to get up, which could add to the physical comedy.



Scene 29 - Diner of Disillusionment
45 INT. DINER - GOD KNOWS WHERE - GOD KNOWS WHEN 45

A dank, dusty, ABANDONED DINER. WADE sits in a BOOTH. MASK
OFF. He’s finishing some canned SPAM. Wolverine rummages
around the diner, overturning items, looking for something.

WADE
So what made you finally wear an
honest-to-god costume? Mine’s red
so they can't see me bleed. But I *
can see how yellow would be useful
too.

LOGAN
Have you been checked for ADHD?

WADE
uh-uh. But I’ve had several STDs *
which were probably caused by ADHD--

WOLVERINE
Fuck.

WADE
What’re you looking for?

Wolverine opens a rusted out white first aid kit and grabs a
bottle of something.

WOLVERINE
Booze... or a ball gag for you.
Preferably both.

WADE
Nice. I’d take a ball gag if you *
find one.

Wolverine takes out a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

WOLVERINE
Okay, fuck.

Wolverine sits across from Wade. His nostrils flared. Staring
at the bottle of rubbing alcohol.

WADE
No, no, no, no. That’s, uh...
Rubbing alcohol. You don’t wanna
drink that--


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 65.
45 (CONTINUED) 45

He downs it.

WADE (CONT’D)
Oh. Yup, there you go. Fuck that
liver.

Wade points to the untouched can of SPAM.

WADE (CONT’D)
Okay. You gonna eat that?

LOGAN
(disgusted)
God. Mind putting your mask back
on?

WADE
Super hard to eat while I’m wearing
it.

LOGAN
Super hard to eat when you’re not.
(off Wade’s head)
What the fuck are those?

WADE
Oh yeah, staples of glory. Back in
civilian life I wear a toupee, but
nobody knows.

LOGAN
Everybody knows.

WADE
Wanna talk about what’s haunting
you? Or -- *

LOGAN
Uh, go fuck yourself.

Logan unceremoniously gets up and takes his SPAM to an empty
seat at the counter. Eats, back turned, in silence.

WADE
Y’know, in my world, you’re uh...
well regarded.

He stops chewing.

WOLVERINE
Not in mine.




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 66.
45 (CONTINUED) (2) 45

WADE
They don’t like me much in mine
either.

WOLVERINE
...Ya don’t say.

WADE
I wanted to be something. Shit, I
wanted to be an Avenger.

WOLVERINE
Fuck the Avengers.

WADE
Yeah. I didn’t make the cut though. *
Same with the X-Men. Then my
girlfriend left me.

WOLVERINE
(incredulous)
You had a girlfriend?

WADE
Yeah, Vanessa. When we met, she was *
a dancer. We had a whole life. It
was good. It was really good. But
oh boy I just... fucked that right
up. You see, I don’t like me very
much, so how could she? But you... *
You were an X-Man. You were THE X- *
Man. The Wolverine was a hero in my
world.

A weighted beat:

WOLVERINE *
Yeah well, he ain’t shit in mine. *
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In an abandoned diner, Wade (Deadpool) attempts to connect with Wolverine (Logan) while eating canned Spam. Wade shares jokes and insecurities about his past and longing for acceptance, reminiscing about his lost girlfriend, Vanessa, and dreams of joining the Avengers or X-Men. Wolverine, however, remains gruff and dismissive, expressing his own disillusionment with heroism. Their contrasting personalities create a tension-filled moment, highlighting their struggles with identity and connection, ultimately ending with Wolverine rejecting Wade's admiration.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character development
  • Humor
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Lack of action sequences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, introspection, and action, providing depth to the characters and advancing the plot. The dialogue is witty and engaging, revealing layers of the characters' personalities.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the unlikely bond between Deadpool and Wolverine in a humorous yet reflective manner is well-executed. The scene effectively delves into their personal struggles and motivations.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through the characters' interactions and revelations about their pasts. The scene sets up future conflicts and developments while providing insight into the characters' dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and unconventional dialogue that subverts traditional superhero tropes, adding authenticity to the characters' actions and interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are well-developed, with depth and complexity. Their contrasting personalities and histories create a compelling dynamic that drives the scene forward.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle shifts in the characters' perspectives and understanding of each other, the scene primarily focuses on revealing their inner struggles and motivations. Deadpool and Wolverine's interactions hint at potential growth and change.

Internal Goal: 8

Wade's internal goal is to seek validation and acceptance, as seen in his desire to be part of the Avengers and his reflection on his failed relationship with Vanessa.

External Goal: 7

Wolverine's external goal is to find booze and possibly a ball gag in the abandoned diner.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on the characters' personal struggles and past failures. While there is tension between Deadpool and Wolverine, it is more reflective than overtly confrontational.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is subtle but adds complexity to the characters' dynamics and motivations, creating uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in the scene are more personal and emotional, focusing on the characters' internal struggles and relationships. While there is tension and conflict, the immediate danger is relatively low.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the relationship between Deadpool and Wolverine, setting up future conflicts and developments. It provides crucial insights into the characters' motivations and dynamics.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and revelations, keeping the audience intrigued.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict revolves around self-worth and identity, as Wade seeks validation from others while struggling with self-acceptance.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to introspection to defiance. The characters' vulnerabilities and regrets add emotional depth, resonating with the audience and creating a connection.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and emotionally resonant, capturing the essence of the characters' personalities. It effectively conveys humor, introspection, and conflict, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its witty dialogue, character dynamics, and emotional depth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional resonance, enhancing the overall impact of the character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, effectively conveying the dialogue and action sequences.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a non-linear structure that enhances the character development and reveals layers of the protagonists' personalities.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the dynamic between Wade and Logan, showcasing their contrasting personalities through humor and banter. However, the humor sometimes feels forced, particularly in Wade's jokes about STDs and ball gags, which may detract from the emotional weight of the moment. Balancing humor with the underlying themes of regret and longing could enhance the scene's impact.
  • Wade's reminiscing about his past and his desire for acceptance adds depth to his character, but the transition from humor to vulnerability could be smoother. The dialogue could benefit from more subtlety, allowing the audience to feel Wade's pain without overtly stating it. For instance, instead of directly stating he wanted to be an Avenger, he could express it through a more nuanced reflection on his failures.
  • Logan's responses are appropriately gruff and dismissive, but they could be enriched with more emotional complexity. Instead of simply telling Wade to 'go fuck yourself,' Logan could reveal a hint of his own struggles or regrets, creating a more layered interaction. This would not only deepen Logan's character but also provide Wade with a more relatable response.
  • The setting of the abandoned diner is a strong choice, symbolizing both characters' isolation and disillusionment. However, the visual descriptions could be more vivid to enhance the atmosphere. Describing the diner in more detail—its decay, the dust motes in the air, or the flickering neon sign—could create a stronger sense of place and mood.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven at times. The comedic exchanges are quick and snappy, but the emotional beats could be given more space to breathe. Allowing for longer pauses after significant lines could give the audience time to absorb the weight of the characters' words and emotions.
Suggestions
  • Consider toning down some of the more explicit jokes to allow for a more organic flow of humor that complements the emotional stakes. Aim for humor that arises naturally from the characters' interactions rather than forced punchlines.
  • Introduce more subtext in the dialogue. Instead of Wade explicitly stating his desire to be an Avenger, let him reflect on moments that illustrate his longing for acceptance and heroism, allowing the audience to infer his feelings.
  • Add layers to Logan's character by incorporating hints of his own vulnerabilities in his responses to Wade. This could create a more engaging dialogue and deepen their relationship.
  • Enhance the setting by providing more descriptive details about the diner. This could help establish a stronger atmosphere that mirrors the characters' emotional states.
  • Allow for longer pauses after key emotional lines to give the audience time to process the characters' feelings. This could enhance the emotional resonance of the scene.



Scene 30 - Navigating Tensions and Terrain
45A INT. TVA CORRIDOR/ELEVATOR - DAY 45A
*

HUNTER B-15 walks down a corridor flanked by MR. PARADOX. *
She reviews some supply inventory logs as they walk. It’s *
clear from her attire that B-15 has been promoted since we *
last saw her in LOKI. *

B-15 *
I’m not even going to ask what’s *
going on with your face. But these *
resource requests are extensive, *
Mr. Paradox. Especially for an in- *
world observation post. *


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 67.
45A (CONTINUED) 45A

MR. PARADOX *
You’ve seen the file on earth one *
triple zero five. It’s teeming with *
troublemakers. *

B-15 *
Remember, your job is to do *
nothing. Make sure others do *
nothing. Do it long enough, maybe *
you’ll sit in my chair one day. *

MR. PARADOX *
Sit in your chair and do nothing. *
Understood. *

B-15 *
Did I detect a tone? *

MR. PARADOX *
A tone? *

B-15 *
Maybe you’ll detect this one: Good *
day, Mr. Paradox. *

B-15 walks off. Mr. Paradox watches her go, clearly annoyed *
by the powers that be and the rules of engagement. *

SMASH CUT TO:
46 EXT. THE VOID - HILLY TERRAIN - DAY 46

The DUO is now walking across hilly terrain. Deadpool’s mask
is back on.

DEADPOOL *
I don’t mean to be a downer, but we *
have a lot to do. Find these other *
survivors hiding god knows where, *
force Cassandra to get us out of *
the Void, stop Paradox from *
destroying my world with his Time *
Ripper -- Rippa. It sounds better *
when you say it in an Australian *
accent. *
(with accent) *
Yeah, got a nice little Time Ripper *
there. *
(without accent) *
That’s fun. *

WOLVERINE *
It’s not. *



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 68.
46 (CONTINUED) 46

DEADPOOL *
And there was something else... *

WOLVERINE *
Fix the shit on my timeline. *

DEADPOOL *
Good god, right. This plot *
refresher is exhausting. Rippa. *

WOLVERINE *
Was?

DEADPOOL
Huh?

WOLVERINE
Back in the diner you said, “was”.
Logan was a hero. What happened?

Deadpool stops walking. Reluctant to share...

DEADPOOL
You died.

WOLVERINE
How?

DEADPOOL
Well, technically, you were chest-
fucked by a tree. But really?
(solemnly)
Ya just ran outta batteries trying
to save someone.

WOLVERINE
Who?

DEADPOOL
The shitheels that grew her in a
lab called her Lemon. But she was
just a kid. A younger, daintier,
somehow meaner version of you. You
died trying to save her. It was
beautiful.

Wolverine walks on. Deadpool too, clocking Logan.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Look, mijo, I know you’re hurting.
My blind elderly, African American
roommate, Blind Al always says that
pain teaches us who we are.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 69.
46 (CONTINUED) (2) 46
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
And that sometimes we need to
listen to that pain instead of
running from it.

WOLVERINE
Holy shit.

DEADPOOL
She’s wise.

WOLVERINE
No. That’s her NAME? You call her
“Blind” Al?

DEADPOOL
Well, she’s blind.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Comedy"]

Summary In this scene, Hunter B-15, now promoted, confronts Mr. Paradox in a TVA corridor about resource requests for an Earth observation post, highlighting his frustration with the rules. The scene then shifts to Deadpool and Wolverine in The Void, where they discuss their mission and Wolverine's painful past, including his death while trying to save a girl named Lemon. Deadpool offers humorous insights about pain, referencing his blind roommate, Blind Al, as they continue their journey, blending light-hearted banter with serious reflection.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Character depth and development
  • Humor intertwined with reflection
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Some tonal shifts may be jarring for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances humor with introspection, providing insight into the characters' emotional states and histories. The dialogue is engaging and reveals layers to Deadpool and Wolverine, enhancing the overall depth of the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the characters' past traumas and losses while maintaining a humorous tone is well-executed. The scene delves into the emotional depth of Deadpool and Wolverine, adding layers to their personalities.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through the characters' discussions about their pasts and the tasks they need to accomplish. The scene sets up future events while also providing crucial character development.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements like the Time Ripper and the TVA, creating a fresh and intriguing setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are fleshed out through their interactions and dialogue. Their vulnerabilities and strengths are showcased, adding complexity to their personalities and deepening the audience's connection to them.

Character Changes: 7

Both Deadpool and Wolverine experience moments of reflection and vulnerability, leading to subtle changes in their perspectives and emotional states. The scene sets the stage for potential growth and development in future interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

B-15's internal goal is to navigate the power dynamics and expectations within the TVA, as she tries to assert her authority and maintain control over her responsibilities.

External Goal: 9

B-15's external goal is to manage the resource requests and maintain order in the observation post, while also dealing with potential troublemakers on Earth one triple zero five.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is tension in the characters' past traumas and the looming threat they face, the scene focuses more on introspection and character development rather than external conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and power dynamics between the characters. The audience is left wondering how these conflicts will be resolved.

High Stakes: 6

While the characters face a looming threat and have important tasks to accomplish, the scene's focus is more on introspection and character development rather than immediate high-stakes action.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of the characters' motivations, past traumas, and the tasks they need to accomplish. It sets up future events and establishes important emotional arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics and conflicts between the characters. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the interactions will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between B-15 and Mr. Paradox regarding the approach to their roles within the organization. B-15 values action and control, while Mr. Paradox seems more resigned to following orders and doing nothing.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to sadness, as Deadpool and Wolverine confront their past losses and vulnerabilities. The emotional depth adds layers to the characters and engages the audience on a deeper level.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals important aspects of the characters' histories and emotions. It effectively conveys humor, introspection, and character dynamics, enhancing the overall impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the tension between the characters, the witty dialogue, and the intriguing setting. The conflicts and power dynamics keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and character interactions adds to the overall effectiveness of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions and conflicts. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively transitions from the previous emotional weight of Vanessa's breakup to a more comedic and light-hearted tone with Deadpool and Wolverine. This shift is well-executed, but it could benefit from a smoother transition to maintain emotional continuity.
  • Deadpool's humor is consistent with his character, but the jokes about the 'Time Ripper' and the Australian accent feel a bit forced and could distract from the gravity of their situation. Balancing humor with the seriousness of their mission is crucial.
  • Wolverine's character is portrayed well, showcasing his frustration and desire for clarity about his past. However, the dialogue could delve deeper into his emotional state, especially regarding his feelings about dying and the implications of his actions.
  • The dialogue between Deadpool and Wolverine is engaging, but it sometimes feels like exposition rather than natural conversation. Finding ways to weave in backstory without it feeling like a recap could enhance the authenticity of their interaction.
  • The introduction of Blind Al's wisdom adds depth to Deadpool's character, but it may come off as a bit abrupt. A more gradual introduction to this wisdom could make it feel more organic and less like a punchline.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Deadpool after mentioning Vanessa's breakup to create a stronger emotional connection before diving into humor.
  • Revise the jokes about the 'Time Ripper' to ensure they align with the scene's tone and do not undermine the stakes of their mission. Perhaps use humor that relates more directly to their current predicament.
  • Explore Wolverine's emotional response to Deadpool's revelations about his past. This could be done through a more introspective dialogue or a moment of silence that allows the audience to feel his internal struggle.
  • Integrate backstory more seamlessly into the dialogue. Instead of Deadpool recapping Wolverine's past, consider having Wolverine express his confusion or anger about it, prompting Deadpool to explain.
  • Introduce Blind Al's wisdom in a way that feels more integrated into the conversation, perhaps by having Deadpool reference her in a more casual context before delivering her advice.



Scene 31 - A Canine Conundrum
47 EXT. THE VOID - HILLY TERRAIN - DAY 47

Suddenly, an ungodly high-pitched growl cuts across the void.
Deadpool and Wolvie, on high alert, turn towards the threat.

Cresting the hill, bathed in slow motion and silhouetted,
bounds an animal. Smallish, maybe 10 to 20 pounds.

What comes into view is unexpected in every way. It’s a dog.
Wearing a Deadpool suit. But not just any dog:

The UGLIEST MOTHER-FUCKING DOG ON THE PLANET.

DOGPOOL!

Slow motion. Cue: Chris De Burgh’s song, “LADY IN RED”.

Close on Dogpool, tongue hanging out the side of its mouth.
One of its eyes is milky white while the other wanders in no
particular direction. What little fur it possesses sprouts
disdainfully from its weird head.

Needless to say, Deadpool is SMITTEN instantly. Deadpool
(also slow motion) drops to his knees, RIPS OFF HIS MASK. He
extends his arms. Sincere musical swells are fucking
everywhere. The dog continues charging towards Wade and leaps
into his arms. She bathes Wade’s face in a hideous cocktail
of saliva from a cankerous tongue. The music climaxes as
DOGPOOL and Wade kiss in ecstasy. We hard cut out to:

WADE
Oh my heavens! Look at you. She’s
coming with us.

WOLVERINE
No, she’s not.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 70.
47 (CONTINUED) 47

WADE
Oh yes, she is.

WOLVERINE
Fuck no.

WADE
Oh yes--

Just then a voice is heard from just over the hill.

NICEPOOL (O.S.)
Sorry! Sorry ‘bout that! Come here,
girl.

Wade and Wolverine watch as a man crests the hill. He’s
immaculate. He wears a Deadpool suit with no mask. The suit
looks like Yves Saint Laurent himself slummed it and designed
a Marvel film. The man’s about twenty-percent more muscular
and after a pretty healthy session in Lola, looks like a
younger RYAN REYNOLDS in his prime before his looks were
ravaged by four children and ten side hustles. The man’s a
goddamn angel.

WADE
Who are you?

NICEPOOL
I’m Deadpool. And I guess you’re
Deadpool too? There’s a few of us.
But in here, everybody calls me
Nicepool. Or Wendy. Oh my goodness,
wait ‘til you see LadyPool! She is
gorgeous. She just had a baby too,
and you can’t even tell.

WADE
I don’t think you’re supposed to
say that.

NICEPOOL
That’s okay. I identify as a
feminist.

WADE
Right.
(then)
You look like a Lamborghini.

NICEPOOL
Thank you.




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 71.
47 (CONTINUED) (2) 47

WADE
And are those gold plated .50
calibre Desert Eagle pistoleros?

NICEPOOL
Of course. To match my ear huggie.

WADE
Can I have them?

NICEPOOL
Ha! Over my dead body. You’re fun.
And I guess you’ve already met Mary
Puppins. AKA: Dogpool. Careful
where you put your hand, she’s
ninety percent g-spot, and she’ll
let you know it. You let this
little flirt out of your sight for
one second and she starts shopping
for a new papa.

Dogpool rests comfortably in Wade’s arms. While Wade
converses, the dog intermittently licks the inside of his
mouth. It’s both horrifying and vaguely intimate. Everyone is
uncomfortable. Especially the actor playing Wade.

WADE
If you can’t be a responsible pet
owner, then maybe you don’t deserve
this little unicorn.

NICEPOOL
Guilty! On all charges, your honor!
(prayer hands)
It shan’t happen again.

WADE
Why are you so nice?

NICEPOOL
It costs nothing to be kind.

WOLVERINE
(to Wade)
Shutting the fuck up is also free.

NICEPOOL
Caliente.

WADE
This is Logan. He’s usually
shirtless but he’s let himself go
since the divorce.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 72.
47 (CONTINUED) (3) 47
WADE (CONT’D)
(to Nicepool)
Where’s your mask?

There’s a looong pause as we go around the horn to Wade, then
to Wolverine, to Dogpool, and finally back to Nicepool.

NICEPOOL
(re: his face)
Come on, guys.

WADE
Oh, this guy. We’re looking for a
group of survivors.

NICEPOOL
Oh. Yeah. There’s a bunch of us.
Offshoots, Variants, castaways. The
void is a kooky, kooky place. *
Cassandra likes to feed us to *
Alioth. Scary. *

WOLVERINE
We need to find this group hiding
out in the borderlands. You know
where that is?

NICEPOOL
Yeah, that’s twelve clicks due
west. I can lend you my ride if
you’d like. It would be my honor.

SMASH CUT TO:
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a hilly terrain, Deadpool and Wolverine encounter Dogpool, an adorable dog in a Deadpool suit, which instantly captivates Deadpool. Amidst slow-motion affection and romantic music, Deadpool expresses his desire to keep Dogpool, while Wolverine skeptically warns against it. Their playful banter is interrupted by Nicepool, a charming alternate version of Deadpool, who offers assistance in finding survivors. The scene is filled with comedic exchanges, contrasting personalities, and ends with Nicepool extending a ride to the duo.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Introduction of unique character (Dogpool)
  • Character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Minimal plot progression
  • Low conflict level

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a good balance of humor, character interaction, and introduction of a new element (Dogpool). The comedic tone is consistent, and the dialogue is engaging.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of encountering a unique character like Dogpool in the void adds a fresh and entertaining element to the storyline. The scene effectively blends humor with character development.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot progression is not significant in this scene, the introduction of Dogpool and the dynamics between the characters contribute to the overall storyline. The scene serves as a moment of levity amidst the larger narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original, featuring a bizarre and unexpected scenario with the introduction of Dogpool and multiple Deadpools. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and fresh, adding a unique twist to familiar superhero tropes.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly Deadpool, Wolverine, and Nicepool, are well-defined and their personalities shine through in the dialogue and interactions. Each character brings a unique element to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the introduction of Dogpool and the interactions between the characters set the stage for potential growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 9

Deadpool's internal goal is to connect with Dogpool and form a bond with the dog. This reflects his need for companionship and love, as well as his desire for acceptance and connection.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to find a group of survivors hiding in the borderlands. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is minimal, focusing more on humor and character dynamics rather than intense conflict. The tension is light and serves to enhance the comedic elements.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations between the characters. The audience is left uncertain about how the situation will resolve, adding tension and suspense to the scene.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on humor and character dynamics than high-stakes conflict. The emphasis is on entertainment and establishing relationships.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new character and establishing the dynamics within the group. It sets the stage for future developments and interactions.

Unpredictability: 9

This scene is unpredictable because of its surreal and absurd elements, such as the introduction of Dogpool and the unexpected character interactions. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of kindness and responsibility. Nicepool's kindness contrasts with Deadpool's more cynical and sarcastic nature, challenging his beliefs about human nature and behavior.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact of the scene is moderate, with moments of humor and light-heartedness resonating with the audience. The introduction of Dogpool adds a touch of whimsy to the scene.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and engaging, capturing the essence of each character's personality. The banter between the characters adds depth and entertainment to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its humor, quirky characters, and unexpected twists. The dialogue and interactions between the characters keep the audience entertained and invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing humor, action, and character development. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and maintains a sense of momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness and keep the audience engaged.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the absurdity and humor characteristic of Deadpool, particularly with the introduction of Dogpool. The slow-motion reveal and the romantic music create a comedic juxtaposition that works well within the context of the film's tone.
  • The dialogue between Wade and Nicepool is witty and showcases their contrasting personalities. However, some lines, such as Nicepool's comment about identifying as a feminist, could be perceived as overly on-the-nose or forced, potentially detracting from the humor.
  • Wolverine's role in this scene is primarily as a straight man to Deadpool's antics, which is effective, but it might benefit from a bit more depth or a personal stake in the situation to balance the comedic elements. His frustration is clear, but adding a layer of concern for Deadpool's well-being could enhance the emotional stakes.
  • The introduction of Nicepool is a clever way to explore the concept of variants, but the character's overly polished demeanor might come off as a bit too exaggerated compared to Deadpool's chaotic nature. This contrast is funny, but it risks overshadowing Deadpool's character if not balanced properly.
  • The scene's pacing is generally good, but the transition from the humorous interaction with Dogpool to the more serious discussion about survivors feels a bit abrupt. A smoother segue could help maintain the comedic tone while introducing the plot's urgency.
Suggestions
  • Consider refining Nicepool's dialogue to ensure it feels more organic and less like a commentary on social issues. Humor can be achieved without being overly explicit about the character's traits.
  • Give Wolverine a more active role in the dialogue, perhaps by expressing his own thoughts on the absurdity of the situation or showing concern for Deadpool's attachment to Dogpool, which could add depth to their relationship.
  • Enhance the transition between the comedic moments and the plot-driven dialogue by incorporating a humorous reaction from Deadpool or Wolverine that acknowledges the absurdity of the situation before moving on to the more serious topic.
  • Explore the potential for a running gag involving Dogpool throughout the scene, which could add layers to the humor and keep the audience engaged with the character's antics.
  • Consider adding a visual gag or action that reinforces the absurdity of Dogpool's presence, such as Deadpool trying to train Dogpool in a ridiculous manner, which could serve as a humorous counterpoint to the more serious discussions.



Scene 32 - Minivan Mayhem
48 EXT. THE VOID - CORNFIELD - DAY 48

REVEAL a beat-up 2011 HONDA ODYSSEY MINIVAN.

Deadpool (mask now back on) draws the hardline:

DEADPOOL
No. No, no, no. Absolutely not. Put *
the tarp back on. *

WOLVERINE
Just get in the car.

DEADPOOL
This isn’t a car. This is a Honda
fucking Odyssey. Throttle response
sucks a cock. Dated infotainment
system. When Honda saw that
untreated chlamydia was making a
comeback, they invented the Honda
Odyssey to compete.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 73.
48 (CONTINUED) 48
DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Every time I talked a customer out
of one of these and into a Kia,
well goddamn it, an angel got its
wings.

WOLVERINE
You done?

DEADPOOL
Almost...yes.

WOLVERINE
Yeah?

DEADPOOL
I’m done.

WOLVERINE
Get. In the fucking. Car.

NICEPOOL
She’ll getcha there safe and sound.
Ol’ Betsy always does.

Deadpool snuggles into Dogpool.

NICEPOOL (CONT’D)
You’re gonna have to give me my dog
back though...

DEADPOOL
I know. Listen... Yes. If you ever
wanna give her up... Or if she
needs a new home, or, if, I
dunno...
(cryptic)
...something should happen to
you... I’d love to be her papa.

NICEPOOL
What would ever happen to me?

Long beat. Deadpool just stares.

DEADPOOL
Lots of stuff.

It’s awkward. Finally, Wolvie tries to grab the dog from
Deadpool. Deadpool holds her back.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
No no.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 74.
48 (CONTINUED) (2) 48

Wolverine manages to grab her by the scruff and toss her to
Nicepool.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
The corn was too dense, girl. Fuck.

NICEPOOL
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. Loved
meeting you!
(to Wolverine)
Especially you. Your rage chakras
are throbbing.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy"]

Summary In a comedic scene set in a cornfield, Deadpool humorously refuses to get into a beat-up Honda Odyssey minivan, critiquing its design while expressing a desire to adopt Nicepool's dog. Wolverine, frustrated with Deadpool's antics, insists he get in the car and ultimately retrieves the dog from Deadpool, returning her to Nicepool. The scene highlights the camaraderie among the characters, ending with Nicepool complimenting Wolverine's intensity.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Character interactions
  • Introduction of new characters
Weaknesses
  • Lack of high-stakes conflict
  • Limited plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a good balance of humor, character dynamics, and awkward moments. The introduction of new characters adds depth to the scene, and the comedic dialogue keeps the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of the scene revolves around humor, character dynamics, and the introduction of new elements. It effectively blends these aspects to create an entertaining and engaging sequence.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot progression is not the main focus of the scene, it serves to move the characters forward in their journey and sets up potential conflicts with the introduction of new characters.

Originality: 9

The scene features original and fresh dialogue, with unique character interactions and humorous observations. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with Deadpool's humor and attachment to Dogpool, Wolverine's no-nonsense attitude, and Nicepool's contrasting charm adding depth to the scene. Their interactions drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the interactions between the characters hint at potential growth and development as the story progresses.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal in this scene is to express his desire to care for Nicepool's dog if anything were to happen to her. This reflects his deeper need for connection and a sense of belonging, as well as his underlying vulnerability and emotional depth.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to convince Nicepool to let him take care of her dog. This reflects the immediate challenge of establishing trust and connection with Nicepool, as well as dealing with the physical obstacle of the dense cornfield.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6.5

The conflict in the scene is primarily driven by the awkward interactions between the characters and the comedic tension, rather than high-stakes action or dramatic confrontations.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations between the characters. The audience is left unsure of how the situation will resolve.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on character dynamics and humor rather than life-threatening situations or major plot developments.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new characters, setting up potential conflicts, and deepening the relationships between the main characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in dialogue and character interactions. The audience is kept on their toes by the humorous and surprising moments.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between Deadpool's humorous and irreverent attitude towards the minivan and Wolverine's more serious and practical approach. This challenges Deadpool's beliefs about material possessions and the importance of emotional connections.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from humor to awkwardness to vulnerability, creating a well-rounded emotional experience for the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and engaging, capturing the essence of each character's personality. The banter between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Nicepool adds to the scene's entertainment value.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, comedic interactions, and dynamic character relationships. The banter between Deadpool and Wolverine keeps the audience entertained and invested in the scene.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing humor with emotional moments, creating a dynamic and engaging rhythm.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character motivations and a progression of conflict and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Deadpool's humorous and irreverent personality, particularly through his exaggerated disdain for the Honda Odyssey. This aligns well with the established tone of the script, but it risks overshadowing the urgency of their situation. The humor is strong, but it could be balanced with a bit more tension or stakes to remind the audience of the dire circumstances they are in.
  • Wolverine's frustration with Deadpool is palpable and serves as a good counterbalance to Deadpool's antics. However, Wolverine's dialogue could be more varied to reflect his character's complexity. Instead of just expressing annoyance, he could also show a hint of concern for their situation, which would deepen his character and make the dynamic more engaging.
  • The introduction of Nicepool adds an interesting layer to the scene, but his character feels somewhat underdeveloped. While he provides comic relief, giving him a more distinct personality or a specific goal could enhance the scene's dynamics. As it stands, he serves primarily as a foil to Deadpool without much depth.
  • The dialogue flows well, but some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact. For example, Deadpool's long-winded rants about the Honda Odyssey could be trimmed to maintain pacing and keep the audience engaged. The humor should feel spontaneous rather than rehearsed.
  • The emotional undertones of Deadpool's desire to adopt Dogpool are a nice touch, but the moment feels slightly overshadowed by the comedic exchanges. A more poignant moment of connection between Deadpool and Dogpool could enhance the emotional stakes and provide a contrast to the humor, making the scene more memorable.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Wolverine expresses his concern for their mission, which would add depth to his character and create a stronger contrast with Deadpool's humor.
  • Develop Nicepool's character further by giving him a unique trait or goal that distinguishes him from Deadpool, making their interactions more dynamic.
  • Tighten Deadpool's dialogue by cutting unnecessary lines or phrases that don't add to the humor or character development, ensuring the pacing remains brisk.
  • Incorporate a brief moment of genuine connection between Deadpool and Dogpool that highlights Deadpool's softer side, enhancing the emotional weight of the scene.
  • Explore the tension between the characters more deeply, perhaps by having Wolverine express frustration not just with Deadpool's antics but also with the situation they find themselves in, creating a more layered conflict.



Scene 33 - Road Trip Tensions
49 INT. HONDA ODYSSEY - BORDERLANDS FOREST - DAY 49

Music Cue: Avril Lavigne’s cover of “I’M WITH YOU”.

Sexy glamour shots of the Honda Odyssey. Camera tracks from
the wheels, around the grill, and rakes across Wolverine in
the driver’s seat with Deadpool riding shotgun. Deadpool’s
head is out the window feeling the wind - like Lemon in *
“Logan”.

Deadpool is playing around in the car, shooting fake webs
from his hands.

WOLVERINE
Stop it.

Wolverine turns off the radio.

DEADPOOL
I love that song.

WOLVERINE
(re: silence)
I love this song.

DEADPOOL
Been a while since somebody’s had a
drink, huh? Feelings can swim, you
know. You can’t drown them, no
matter how hard you try.

WOLVERINE
You hold their head under long
enough...they’ll stop squirming.

Wolverine turns the radio back on. But Deadpool’s enjoying
the conversation. He turns it back off.




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 75.
49 (CONTINUED) 49

DEADPOOL
Here’s the thing. I get that you’re
trying to forget everything, but
what’s with the suit? The first
thing I did when I flamed out...I
took mine off.

WOLVERINE
Drop it.

DEADPOOL
It’s not that ugly...

WOLVERINE
Stop talking about my suit.

DEADPOOL
Did you make it yourself? Been
there.

Wolverine is getting seriously pissed off.

WOLVERINE
Quit. Now.

DEADPOOL
Did the X-Men make you wear it?
Those sons of fucking bitches. They
are not your friends, I’ll tell you
that. Friends don’t let friends
leave the house looking like they
fight crime for the Los Angeles
Rams.

WOLVERINE
Shut the fuck up about the suit.

DEADPOOL
Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch your frown
lines, angel baby. I’m just trying
to bond a little bit.

WOLVERINE
Then talk about something else.

DEADPOOL
FINE. If they can fix your world
what’s the first thing you’re gonna
do when you get out of here? Some
rubbing alcohol shots, maybe a
wiper fluid chaser?




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 76.
49 (CONTINUED) (2) 49

WOLVERINE
(dark)
What’d you say?

DEADPOOL
I said when you get back, what’s
the first thing you’re gonna do?

WOLVERINE
No, no, no. Before that.

DEADPOOL
(realizing he’s in it now)
...If...they can fix your world?

Wolverine JAMS THE BRAKES.
50 EXT. WOODED ROAD - DAY 50

THE ODYSSEY goes into a GNARLY spin. We finally skid to a
HALT facing the wrong way. Wide shot. Long beat of the car.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Adventure"]

Summary In a forested area, Wolverine drives a Honda Odyssey with Deadpool riding shotgun. Deadpool's playful antics and probing questions about Wolverine's feelings and past annoy Wolverine, who prefers silence. As Deadpool persists, Wolverine's frustration escalates, leading him to slam on the brakes, causing the car to spin and stop facing the wrong way.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Humor
Weaknesses
  • Repetitive banter
  • Lack of significant character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, tension, and character development through the interaction between Deadpool and Wolverine. The dialogue is sharp and engaging, keeping the audience entertained.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Deadpool and Wolverine's interaction in a tense situation is engaging and offers insight into their personalities. The clash of their differing attitudes creates a compelling dynamic.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as the characters discuss their past and motivations, hinting at deeper layers to their personalities. The conflict between them adds tension to the scene.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the dynamic between Wolverine and Deadpool, exploring their conflicting personalities and histories in a unique way. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their contrasting personalities and histories. Their interactions reveal more about their motivations and relationships.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it deepens the understanding of Deadpool and Wolverine's personalities and their evolving relationship.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront his past and come to terms with his emotions. Wolverine's deeper needs, fears, and desires are reflected in his reluctance to engage with Deadpool's probing questions about his suit and his world.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to maintain control and composure in the face of Deadpool's provocations. This reflects the immediate challenge of dealing with Deadpool's unpredictable behavior.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Deadpool and Wolverine escalates throughout the scene, adding tension and driving the narrative forward. Their differing perspectives create a compelling clash.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Deadpool challenging Wolverine's beliefs and pushing him to confront his past. The audience is left unsure of how Wolverine will respond, adding to the tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are raised as Deadpool and Wolverine confront each other, hinting at the larger dangers they face. The tension and conflict add weight to the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing more about the characters' motivations and setting up future conflicts. It advances the narrative while maintaining audience interest.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the dialogue, the sudden shifts in tone, and the characters' surprising reactions. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the scene will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between Wolverine's desire to forget his past and Deadpool's insistence on confronting it. This challenges Wolverine's beliefs about closure and moving on.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from humor to tension, keeping the audience engaged. The characters' vulnerabilities add depth to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, sharp, and reveals insights into the characters' personalities. The banter between Deadpool and Wolverine adds humor and depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic between the characters, the tension-filled dialogue, and the unpredictable nature of the interaction. The conflict and banter keep the audience invested in the scene.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-filled moments and quieter beats. The rhythm of the dialogue and action keeps the scene moving forward and maintains the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. The visual descriptions enhance the atmosphere of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the dynamic between Deadpool and Wolverine, showcasing their contrasting personalities. Deadpool's playful and irreverent nature juxtaposes Wolverine's gruff demeanor, which is a hallmark of their relationship. However, the dialogue could benefit from more variation in pacing to enhance comedic timing and tension. The back-and-forth feels a bit one-note, with Deadpool's jokes becoming repetitive, which may dilute their impact.
  • The use of music, specifically Avril Lavigne's cover of 'I’m With You,' sets a nostalgic and emotional tone that contrasts with the comedic elements. However, the transition from the music to the dialogue could be smoother. Consider integrating the lyrics or themes of the song into the dialogue to create a more cohesive atmosphere.
  • Wolverine's frustration is palpable, but the escalation to him slamming on the brakes feels abrupt. While it serves as a comedic climax, it could be foreshadowed more effectively through Deadpool's increasingly annoying comments. This would enhance the payoff of Wolverine's reaction and make it feel more organic.
  • The dialogue about Wolverine's suit is humorous and serves to highlight Deadpool's tendency to push boundaries. However, it risks coming off as mean-spirited rather than playful. A more balanced approach, where Deadpool acknowledges Wolverine's feelings while still teasing him, could deepen their bond and make the humor feel less aggressive.
  • The scene ends on a cliffhanger with the car spinning out of control, which is a strong visual moment. However, it might benefit from a brief moment of reflection from Deadpool before the chaos, allowing the audience to absorb the tension and humor before the abrupt action.
Suggestions
  • Introduce a moment of silence or a reflective pause before Deadpool's comments escalate, allowing Wolverine's frustration to build more naturally.
  • Incorporate elements of the song's lyrics or themes into the dialogue to create a stronger connection between the music and the characters' emotions.
  • Consider adding a line or two where Deadpool acknowledges Wolverine's feelings about his suit, making the teasing feel more like playful banter rather than outright mockery.
  • Enhance the pacing of the dialogue by varying the rhythm and incorporating physical comedy or gestures that complement the verbal exchanges, making the scene feel more dynamic.
  • After the car spins out, include a brief moment where Deadpool reacts to the situation, perhaps with a humorous quip about their predicament, to maintain the comedic tone while transitioning into the next scene.



Scene 34 - Clash in the Odyssey
51 INT. HONDA ODYSSEY - DAY 51

We’re back inside the car. Shock. A passenger side airbag
deploys beside Deadpool’s head, firing him face-down into
Wolvie’s crotch.

Wolverine grabs his head and pulls him upright:

WOLVERINE
Whaddya mean, “if”?

DEADPOOL
I mean...

WOLVERINE
You lied to me. You don’t have a
fucking clue if they can help me
fix things, do you?

DEADPOOL
No. I...I mean...

Wolverine stabs his claws into Deadpool’s thigh.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
OWWWWW. Fuck!? FUCK. I DIDN’T LIE!

WOLVERINE
YOU LIED.




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 77.
51 (CONTINUED) 51

DEADPOOL
No, I made an educated wish!
Because I need you!

Deadpool whips out something from his pouch, shows it to
Wolverine. It’s the photo from his birthday party cake, a
picture of all his Fox-world friends. He’s kept it.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
This. This is why. Right here.
Because if we don't do something,
they die. I don't know anything
about saving worlds. Why would I
even care because MY entire world
is right here in this picture. It’s
only nine people and I have no idea
how to save it alone. I know how to
fuck people up for money. But you.
YOU know how to save ‘em. At least
the other Wolverine did. I guess
I’m stuck with the worst one.

WOLVERINE
Did you say you made an EDUCATED.
FUCKING. WISH?!

DEADPOOL
They call me the Merc With The
Mouth. They don’t call me,
“Truthful Timmy, the blowjob queen
of Saskatoon.”

Wolvie stares at Deadpool. Pulls his claw out of Deadpool’s
thigh and raises his fist. Scary. The words barely find their
way through his rage and gritted teeth.

WOLVERINE
One more word. Please, give me one.

DEADPOOL
(considers)
Gubernatorial.

Wolverine almost lunges at Deadpool. Almost. But he stops.
Suddenly revels in the chance to be even more hurtful.

WOLVERINE
You know what? You are a fucking
JOKE. No wonder the Avengers didn’t
take you. Or the X-Men-- and
they’ll take fucking anyone. I
mean, you are a ridiculous,
immature, half-wit moron.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 78.
51 (CONTINUED) (2) 51
WOLVERINE (CONT’D)
I have never met a sadder, more
attention-starved, jabbering little
prick in my entire life and that
says a lot because I’ve been alive
for more than TWO HUNDRED FUCKING
YEARS. And I’ll tell ya, that bald
chick was right about one thing...
You will never save the world. You
couldn’t even save a relationship
with a GODDAMN STRIPPER. And
motherfucker, I WISH I could say
you’d die alone-- but it’s one of *
god’s best jokes that you can’t
die. Except it’s on all of us!

Deadpool is stunned. He looks hurt. REALLY hurt. Even
Wolverine conveys a flicker of regret, but instead doubles
down:

WOLVERINE (CONT’D)
You got nuthin’ to say, MOUTH?!

An achingly long beat. Then:

DEADPOOL
(quietly)
I’m going to fight you now.

WOLVERINE
Oh.... ARE you--

BAM. Deadpool’s fist bounces off Wolverine’s face. Wolvie’s
face registers surprise. Then...RAGE.

WOLVERINE (CONT’D)
You’re not talking now, are ya?

And folks: IT IS ON! The mother of all knife-fights in a
phone booth. Except the phone booth is a mini-van.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Superhero"]

Summary In a tense confrontation inside a Honda Odyssey, Deadpool finds himself face-down in Wolverine's lap after an airbag deploys. As Wolverine accuses Deadpool of lying about a plan to save their friends, Deadpool reveals a photo from his birthday party, showcasing his emotional attachment to his small circle of friends. Wolverine's anger escalates as he berates Deadpool, leading to a chaotic physical fight between the two in the cramped vehicle, highlighting their conflicting personalities and unresolved tensions.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional conflict
  • Sharp and impactful dialogue
  • Character vulnerability and development
Weaknesses
  • Potential for excessive verbal confrontation
  • Limited physical action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is highly engaging due to the emotional depth, intense conflict, and character dynamics. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, revealing vulnerabilities and harsh truths.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of a heated confrontation between Deadpool and Wolverine, delving into their vulnerabilities and motivations, is compelling and well-executed. The scene effectively explores the complex dynamics between the characters.

Plot: 8.4

The plot is driven by the emotional conflict between Deadpool and Wolverine, adding depth to their characters and advancing their relationship. The scene contributes to the overall narrative by revealing key aspects of the characters' motivations.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on superhero dynamics, focusing on the emotional struggles and conflicts between characters rather than just action sequences. The dialogue feels authentic and reveals deeper layers of the characters.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their vulnerabilities, strengths, and conflicting personalities. The dialogue and actions reflect their complex relationship and individual traits.

Character Changes: 8

Both Deadpool and Wolverine undergo emotional changes in the scene, with Deadpool revealing his vulnerability and plea for help, while Wolverine confronts his own demons and expresses regret. The confrontation leads to a shift in their dynamic.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal is to prove his worth and value to Wolverine, to show that he is capable of helping and making a difference. This reflects Deadpool's desire for acceptance and validation.

External Goal: 7

Deadpool's external goal is to convince Wolverine to help him save their friends from danger. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing and the need for teamwork.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and emotionally charged, with Deadpool and Wolverine engaging in a heated confrontation that reveals their vulnerabilities and insecurities. The clash of personalities and values heightens the tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Wolverine challenging Deadpool's beliefs and values, creating a compelling conflict that drives the scene forward.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as Deadpool pleads for help to save his world, while Wolverine confronts his past and struggles with his own demons. The emotional intensity and conflict raise the stakes for both characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the relationship between Deadpool and Wolverine, revealing key aspects of their characters, and setting the stage for future developments. The emotional conflict adds layers to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional outbursts and twists in the characters' interactions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflict will escalate.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Deadpool's belief in his ability to make a difference and Wolverine's skepticism and harsh criticism. This challenges Deadpool's values and self-perception.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, as Deadpool and Wolverine confront their inner demons and engage in a raw, intense exchange. The vulnerability and hurt expressed by the characters resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, emotional, and impactful, revealing the inner thoughts and feelings of Deadpool and Wolverine. The exchanges between the characters drive the scene forward and deepen the conflict.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional conflict between the characters, the sharp dialogue, and the high stakes involved. The tension keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and escalating the conflict between the characters. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is formatted effectively to convey the emotional beats.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character arcs and conflicts. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the intensity of the confrontation.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between Deadpool and Wolverine, showcasing their contrasting personalities. Deadpool's humor juxtaposed with Wolverine's rage creates a dynamic conflict that drives the scene forward.
  • The use of physical comedy, such as Deadpool being face-down in Wolverine's lap due to the airbag deployment, is a clever way to introduce the confrontation. It sets a comedic tone while also highlighting the absurdity of their situation.
  • Wolverine's dialogue is sharp and cutting, effectively conveying his frustration with Deadpool's lack of a solid plan. However, some of the insults could be streamlined to maintain the pacing and avoid redundancy. For instance, the repetition of 'you lied' could be condensed to enhance the impact of Wolverine's anger.
  • Deadpool's emotional moment when he reveals the photo from his birthday party adds depth to his character, showing that beneath the humor, he has genuine stakes in the situation. This moment could be further emphasized with a brief pause or a close-up shot to capture the weight of his words.
  • The escalation into physical confrontation feels organic, but the transition from verbal conflict to physical fight could benefit from a more pronounced buildup. Perhaps a moment of silence or a shared look before the punch is thrown would heighten the tension.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening Wolverine's insults to make them more impactful. Focus on the most cutting remarks and eliminate any that feel repetitive to maintain the scene's momentum.
  • Enhance the emotional weight of Deadpool's photo reveal by incorporating a visual cue, such as a close-up shot of the photo, to emphasize its significance and the stakes involved.
  • Add a brief moment of silence or a shared look between Deadpool and Wolverine before the fight breaks out to build tension and anticipation for the physical confrontation.
  • Explore the possibility of incorporating more physical comedy during the fight itself, utilizing the confined space of the minivan to create humorous and unexpected moments.
  • Consider adding a line or two of Deadpool's internal monologue during the fight to provide insight into his thoughts and feelings, which could add depth to the action and maintain the comedic tone.



Scene 35 - Minivan Mayhem: Wolverine vs. Deadpool
52 EXT. WOODED ROAD - DAY 52

The exterior of the minivan, in profile, via locked off
camera.

CLOSE ON: The vehicle rocks with the violence inside. A
bumper sticker affixed to the Odyssey’s ass-end: *

Suddenly, SMASH! Wolverine launches out the front window. He
picks himself up... *

...WOLVERINE DIVES BACK THROUGH the window. CRASH!

More rocking, pitching, smashing.
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 79.

53 INT. HONDA ODYSSEY - DAY 53

Relentless violence. Wolverine slams his CLAWS into
Deadpool’s chest below his STERNUM.

Wolverine starts rotating his FIST back and forth, CRACKING
and POPPING Deadpool’s RIBS.

Deadpool produces his KNIFE and goes to work on Wolverine,
then pulls out the small PUSH-DAGGERS from his chest holsters
and jackhammers Wolverine with them about six times before
Wolvie knows he’s even been stabbed.

Wolvie breaks Deadpool’s arm.

DEADPOOL
No, no, no, AHHH! SON OF A--

The jaw-dropping symphony of carnage continues as every inch
and accessory of the minivan gets deployed. Deadpool uses a
SEATBELT to choke Wolvie. *

DEADPOOL (CONT’D) *
Is it Gubernatorial? *

Deadpool stabs Wolverine in the leg.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Baby knife.

Wolverine fights back.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D) *
I take it all back. The Honda *
Odyssey fucks hard. Too bad you *
don’t, needle dick. *

WOLVERINE
Oh we’re just getting started, bub.

Wolverine slams the claws on both hands into each side of
Deadpool’s head at the ears. The claws erupt from either side
of Deadpool’s head. As he starts to lose consciousness,
Deadpool retrieves his knife and goes back to work.
54 EXT. HONDA ODYSSEY - DAY 54

The Odyssey continues to rock and shake.

A TIME LAPSE SHOWS THE PASSAGE OF DAY TO NIGHT TO BACK AGAIN.

When normal speed resumes, the van’s movements have lessened.
The rocks become smaller shudders... then comically DIE DOWN
to just a little tiny squeaking/groaning.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 80.
54 (CONTINUED) 54

At last the van grows STILL.

A beat.

Then it starts to barely rock/squeak a bit more.

Then grows STILL again.

A VAN DOOR FALLS RIGHT OFF.
55 OMITTED (FORMERLY INT. HONDA ODYSSEY) 55

56 EXT. HONDA ODYSSEY - DAY 56

We pull back to reveal a pair of BOOTS. Someone’s been
watching this whole scene play out.
57 INT. HONDA ODYSSEY - DAY 57

BACK ON: a now-unconscious Wolverine and Deadpool.

Offscreen, we hear the Odyssey’s engine start.
58 EXT. HERO HIDEOUT - DAY 58

The battered MINIVAN is parked outside a semi-concealed
bunker in the woods.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy"]

Summary In a chaotic and comedic brawl inside a minivan, Wolverine and Deadpool engage in a fierce fight filled with witty banter and absurd injuries. As they exchange blows, the van violently rocks, showcasing their rivalry and resilience. The scene transitions from day to night, culminating in the minivan coming to a halt with a door falling off, leaving both characters unconscious. The aftermath hints at someone watching as the engine starts, suggesting the fight has ended ambiguously.
Strengths
  • Intense physical confrontation
  • Dynamic between Wolverine and Deadpool
  • Humorous dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Focus on physical conflict over character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-executed with a high level of tension, humor, and action. The dynamic between Wolverine and Deadpool is engaging, and the physical conflict adds depth to their characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a brutal and chaotic fight between Wolverine and Deadpool in a confined space is engaging and showcases the contrasting personalities of the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene revolves around the intense physical confrontation between Wolverine and Deadpool, adding depth to their relationship and characters.

Originality: 9

The scene features a unique and fresh approach to a fight scene, with creative use of weapons and accessories in the minivan setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to their personalities.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Wolverine and Deadpool are well-developed in this scene, with their personalities and abilities on full display during the intense conflict.

Character Changes: 8

Both Wolverine and Deadpool undergo physical and emotional changes during the scene, as they confront each other in a brutal fight.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is likely survival or victory in the fight. This reflects their deeper need for self-preservation and the desire to overcome their opponent.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to defeat their opponent in the fight and emerge victorious. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Wolverine and Deadpool is intense and physical, showcasing their abilities and determination to overcome each other.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with both characters facing difficult challenges and obstacles in the fight. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Wolverine and Deadpool engage in a brutal fight that tests their abilities and endurance, with the outcome uncertain.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the escalating conflict between Wolverine and Deadpool, adding depth to their relationship and characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the fight, as well as the characters' surprising actions and dialogue. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' differing values and approaches to combat. Deadpool's sarcastic and taunting dialogue contrasts with Wolverine's more serious and determined demeanor, challenging their beliefs and worldviews.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension to humor, but the focus is more on the physical conflict than emotional depth.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue between Wolverine and Deadpool adds humor and tension to the scene, reflecting their personalities and the escalating conflict.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, dynamic dialogue, and high stakes conflict. The intense fight and the characters' banter keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and intense, with a rhythmic flow of action and dialogue that builds tension and excitement. The scene's pacing contributes to its effectiveness in conveying the characters' emotions and motivations.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear descriptions of the setting, action, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure of escalating action and conflict, leading to a climactic moment of resolution. The formatting and pacing contribute to the intensity of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and humorous essence of Deadpool and Wolverine's relationship, showcasing their physicality and banter. The locked-off camera angle on the minivan adds a comedic touch, emphasizing the absurdity of the situation.
  • The dialogue is sharp and witty, particularly Deadpool's quips about the Honda Odyssey and his playful insults towards Wolverine. This maintains the comedic tone while also highlighting the tension between the characters.
  • The use of physical comedy, such as Deadpool using a seatbelt to choke Wolverine and the exaggerated violence, aligns well with the established tone of the script. However, the violence may risk overshadowing character development if not balanced with emotional stakes.
  • The time-lapse sequence effectively conveys the passage of time and the intensity of their fight, but it could benefit from a clearer visual cue to indicate the transition from day to night, ensuring the audience remains oriented.
  • The ending, with the van door falling off, is a humorous visual punchline that reinforces the chaos of the scene. However, the introduction of the boots watching the aftermath feels abrupt and could be better integrated to maintain narrative flow.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of vulnerability or emotional stakes during the fight to deepen the character dynamics. For example, a brief exchange where Deadpool expresses his desperation to save their friends could add weight to the chaos.
  • Enhance the visual storytelling by incorporating more dynamic camera movements during the fight, such as quick cuts or close-ups, to heighten the intensity and keep the audience engaged.
  • Clarify the time-lapse transition with a more distinct visual cue, such as a change in lighting or a specific shot of the sun setting and rising, to ensure the audience understands the passage of time.
  • Integrate the watching boots character more smoothly into the scene, perhaps by foreshadowing their presence earlier or providing a brief reaction shot to the chaos, to create a more cohesive narrative.
  • Consider varying the pacing of the dialogue and action to create moments of tension and release, allowing the audience to catch their breath amidst the chaos and appreciate the humor more fully.



Scene 36 - Unlikely Allies in the Void
59 INT. HERO HIDEOUT - DAY 59

Deadpool wakes up in the GIANT HULK BED FROM THOR: RAGNAROK.
He spies Wolvie, looking out the window, HALF EMPTY BOTTLE OF
JIM BEAM in his hand. Glass-eyed.

DEADPOOL
Where are we?

WOLVERINE
No clue.
(re: bottle)
But I like it here.

The two hear noise in the next room... Deadpool turns, in a
flash he’s on his feet reaching for his swords-- Before he
can draw, his knee is kicked in by the blur of a black boot.
THE BLADE OF A SAI instantly at his neck.

LOW HEROIC ANGLE REVEALING: ELEVEN.

DEADPOOL
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

From behind her, out steps a man: grey-streaked hair,
apocalyptic but unmistakably, BILLY.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 81.
59 (CONTINUED) 59

A moment later, a MAN saunters in shuffling a deck of cards.
He is... sex on legs. He is... GATSBY.

Billy points his sword at Wolvie.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
(stands, pretends to know)
Okay! Look at you! All. You must be
the others. Terrific! So... just
to... refresh... You are...
Wwwwwonder Wom--

ELEVEN
Eleven.

DEADPOOL
Eleven! Yes! Who could forget! And
you: I was not expecting to see you
here. I thought you were, you
know...
(mumbles)
Retired.

Billy glares at him intensely through his dark sunglasses.

BILLY
Retarded?

DEADPOOL
RETIRED. I’m already in the void.
I’m not trying to get canceled
again.

BILLY
(gets up in DP’s face)
I don’t like you.

DEADPOOL
You never did.

Deadpool is a little terrified of Billy.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
(eyes Gatsby)
And who’s this succulent reminder
of my own inadequacies? Look at
you! You look like the superhero
version of Hawkeye.

GATSBY
(barely understandable
cajun accent)
Dey name’s F. Scott Fitzgerald but
you canna call me da Gatsby.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 82.
59 (CONTINUED) (2) 59

DEADPOOL
(awkward beat)
It’s been a while since I’ve seen
Sling Blade. Hit me again?

GATSBY
Dey calla me da Gatsby.

DEADPOOL
(suspicious)
Do they? You sure you didn’t just
really, really want them to, but it
never quite worked out?

Gatsby charges and FLICKS A CARD. It nearly takes off
Deadpool’s HEAD, and SLICES THROUGH WOLVERINE’S BOTTLE OF
BOOZE. Cutting it in half, perfectly, before exploding
against the wall. A shit-faced Wolvie barely acknowledges,
reaching for another bottle nearby.

GATSBY
(to Wolverine)
You know we never had a Wolverine
up in here. But I can tell you now
it’s just a common courtesy to ask
‘fore you drink up all of my
liquor.

WOLVERINE
Good thing I don’t give a fuck.

Gambit throws a card in Wolverine’s direction. It breaks the
bottle.

WOLVERINE (CONT’D)
Fuck.

DEADPOOL
So embarrassing.

Wolverine grabs another bottle.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Now that that’s settled. We came a
long way to find you three.

ELEVEN
There’s four of us.

DEADPOOL
There’s four? Wait, is it Magneto??
Dear sweet god in heaven let it be
Magneto because with HIM--


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 83.
59 (CONTINUED) (3) 59

BILLY
He’s dead.

DEADPOOL
FUCK! What we can’t even afford one
more X-Man? Disney is so cheap. I
can barely breathe with all this
Mickey Mouse cock in my throat.

GATSBY
You nasty. Laissez le bon temps
rouler.

DEADPOOL
Not a single word. What do you do
exactly?

GATSBY
I charge the playing cards, make
‘em go BOOM.

DEADPOOL
Your power is close up magic?
That’s good. We’re not totally
fucked at all.
(to Eleven, re: hideout) *
How’d we get here? *

LEMON (O.S.)
That would be me.

REVEAL: THE LEMON. Standing in the doorway.

LEMON (CONT’D)
Don’t make me regret it.

Lemon stares at Logan with feeling. She’s seeing a living
ghost. Logan stares back at Lemon without recognition.
Deadpool is a different story.

DEADPOOL
HOLY SHIT. Logan, that’s her.
That’s Lemon. She’s the one I told
you about! How’d you all get stuck
in the Void?

BILLY
There was a knock at the door. TVA
sent me here.

ELEVEN
Me too.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 84.
59 (CONTINUED) (4) 59

GATSBY
Maybe I was born here. Hard to know
fo’ sho’.

BILLY
TVA decided our universes were
dying. And I never even got a
chance to fight for them.

ELEVEN
People like us don’t go quietly.
TVA knows that, so they took us
out.

DEADPOOL
The answer is yes. I’m in.

BILLY
In what?

DEADPOOL
A team. Me, you, you, and me. All
of us together. Let’s get the fuck
outta this place.

WOLVERINE
Don’t listen to him, he’s a fucking
liar.

DEADPOOL
(to Wolvie)
IT WAS AN EDUCATED WISH!
(to the heroes)
Look, we’ve been inside Cassandra’s
lair. The only way outta the Void
is through her. She can get us
home. She told us. *

Billy leans in close. Terrifying.

BILLY
Wait. You been inside? And you made
it out alive?

ELEVEN
Bullshit. Nobody’s ever done that.

DEADPOOL
We did.

GATSBY
Every timma one of us has gone
against her they die. The Punisha.
Quicksilver. Da Daredevil.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 85.
59 (CONTINUED) (5) 59

DEADPOOL
(to Eleven)
Daredevil. I’m so sorry.

ELEVEN
(’Trust me’)
It’s fine.

DEADPOOL
Okay.

GATSBY
Even our sweet baby angel Jonathan
Byers. He up and gone missin’ not
but two days ago.

Enormous pause. Deadpool slow burns a look to Wolverine who
just stares vacantly at his beloved bottle.

DEADPOOL
Ugh that’s so sad. Wherever this
Johnny fellow is, I’m sure he’s
thriving.

Then:

DEADPOOL (CONT'D) (CONT’D)
Look, there’s strength in numbers,
alright. Us plus you guys, we can
put Cassandra over our knee and
force her to let us go! I know what
it means to feel self-doubt...

ELEVEN
I don’t feel that at all.

BILLY
I’m good.

DEADPOOL
...gnawing at your gut like a coked-
up tapeworm...

GATSBY
Is’like you’re holdin’ a mirror up
to mah soul.

DEADPOOL
You guys might not have been able
to save your universes, but you can
avenge them. It’s what Jonathan
would have wanted.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 86.
59 (CONTINUED) (6) 59

ELEVEN
Wait. You knew Jonathan?

A wobbly Wolverine pipes in.

WOLVERINE
Yeah. Dickhead here talked him into
a team up and Jonathan came down
with a little case of the ‘deads.’

DEADPOOL
No, no, no. We don’t know that. He
may have survived.

WOLVERINE
If he survived that, he is praying
for death.

DEADPOOL
Well thank you, DOCTOR Wolverine.

BILLY
(to Deadpool)
Spill it.

GATSBY
Whatta you do to Jonathan, uh? Talk
or I’m’a start dealin’.

Gatsby shuffles... Menacingly? Deadpool spills like a trauma
survivor:

DEADPOOL
Okay, hey hey hey. Look, he ran his
fat ass mouth around Cassandra...
And she zip zapped his skin,
leaving his organs to splash
crudely onto the ground while the
soil greedily drank his blood-- It
was horrible. He was like a brother
to me. Look, he died before he *
could make a difference! Maybe you
couldn’t save your worlds. But
jesus christ you could save mine!

ELEVEN
(to Billy)
I don’t give a shit about your
world, but if these two made it out
of there alive, maybe together we
can get back in.




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 87.
59 (CONTINUED) (7) 59

GATSBY
Where I come from, we call that
suicide.

DEADPOOL
If we can block her psychic powers,
we can get a leg up. I know it. Now
I know Magneto’s dead, but I’d
venture to guess that his helmet is
lying around here somewhere.

BILLY
Cassandra melted the helmet.

DEADPOOL
FUCK.

BILLY
After she killed him.

DEADPOOL
FUCK! *

BILLY
She don’t play.

ELEVEN
She knows that helmet was the only
way to protect anyone from her
powers. The only other helmet that
strong is Juggernaut’s. But he
works for Cassandra.

DEADPOOL
Juggernaut’s helmet. That’s it.

GATSBY
An’ we done be knowing that lid
ain’t comin’off ‘thout the dome
gon’come wit’it.

DEADPOOL
I’m so sorry, Beautiful. I want
this to be gentle. Who is your
dialect coach? The Minions? I feel
like we are missing critical
exposition here.

A beat. A plan starting to form. Eleven and Billy share a
look. Lemon and Gatsby too.

ELEVEN
I’m sick of this. I’m sick of this
shit. I’m sick of hiding.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 88.
59 (CONTINUED) (8) 59
ELEVEN (CONT’D)
Let’s face it, our worlds forgot
about us.

GATSBY
(quick add)
Or never learned about us.

ELEVEN
The heroes we were.

BILLY
Lives we saved.

GATSBY
(another quick add)
Or wanted to save.

ELEVEN
Maybe these two are our chance. To
be remembered. The way we deserve.

DEADPOOL
Yes.

ELEVEN
An ENDING.

A beat.

BILLY
A legacy.

DEADPOOL
Yes, yes! Let this man cook. This
is what I’m talking about. Big slow
motion fight, sad music, everybody
working together, who knows if you
lived or died... That sorta thing.
(then)
Who’s ready?

Billy SMILES for the first time.

BILLY
I was born ready.

DEADPOOL
YES. Gatsby?

GATSBY
I ain’t know my daddy, but I’m sure
I shot out of his dick ready.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 89.
59 (CONTINUED) (9) 59

DEADPOOL
Jesus christ that is graphic.

GATSBY
Yeah, he was layin them buttery
nuts all up in m’mama and I shot
out there and I said ‘what’s up
doc?’

DEADPOOL
Jonathan must have loved you.
(then) *
Lemon, what’s it gonna be? *

LEMON
The name’s Lemon. Let’s fucking go.

Momentum building...

DEADPOOL
Let’s fucking go.

BILLY
It’s on like chicken and corn.

DEADPOOL
Yeah.

ELEVEN
We’re doing this.

WOLVERINE
You’re all fucking dead.

DEADPOOL
My GOD! Read the room!

Wolvie heads for the door. Grabs a fresh bottle on his way.
To Gatsby, raising his bottle.

WOLVERINE
Wow, look at all these winners.
(to Gatsby)
Thanks for the splash.

Wolverine exits. Lemon watches him go. *
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a hero hideout, Deadpool wakes up in a giant Hulk bed to find Wolverine drinking whiskey. Tension rises as they are confronted by Eleven, Billy, and Gatsby. Deadpool attempts to bond with the group while discussing their shared loss and the threat of the antagonist, Cassandra. Despite differing motivations and past traumas, they share their backstories and ultimately decide to unite against their common enemy, setting the stage for a battle to reclaim their legacies.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Dynamic character interactions
  • Blend of humor and tension
  • Compelling theme of redemption and legacy
Weaknesses
  • Some repetitive humor
  • Lack of clarity in certain character motivations

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene effectively blends humor, tension, and emotional depth while introducing new characters and setting up a high-stakes mission. The dialogue is witty and engaging, and the scene moves the story forward significantly.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of forming a team to escape the Void, facing a powerful enemy, and seeking redemption and legacy is compelling and well-executed. The scene introduces new elements while advancing the overall plot and character development.

Plot: 8.7

The plot of the scene is engaging, with the characters coming together to plan their escape and confront Cassandra. The stakes are high, and the scene sets up important developments for the story to come.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters and situations, blending superhero elements with apocalyptic themes in a fresh and engaging way. The dialogue feels authentic and adds depth to the characters.


Character Development

Characters: 8.8

The characters are well-defined, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions drive the scene forward and set up potential conflicts and alliances. The dialogue reflects their individual quirks and dynamics.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo subtle changes in their attitudes and alliances throughout the scene, as they come together to form a team and face the challenges ahead. These changes set the stage for potential growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal is to form a team with the other characters to escape the Void and avenge Jonathan's death. This reflects his need for redemption and a sense of purpose.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to find a way to block Cassandra's psychic powers and escape the Void. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.7

The conflict in the scene is multi-layered, involving internal struggles, interpersonal dynamics, and the looming threat of Cassandra. The tensions between the characters drive the narrative forward and create suspense.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and tensions between the characters, adding depth to the conflict and character dynamics.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters face a powerful enemy, seek to escape a dangerous situation, and strive to make a difference in a seemingly hopeless environment. The risks and challenges add tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new characters, setting up a mission, revealing key information about Cassandra, and establishing the team's goals and obstacles. It advances the plot and builds anticipation for future events.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable with unexpected character interactions and plot developments, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of legacy and redemption. The characters grapple with their past actions and the desire to be remembered for their heroism.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.6

The scene has emotional depth, with moments of humor, tension, and vulnerability. The characters' struggles and motivations evoke empathy and investment from the audience, enhancing the overall impact of the scene.

Dialogue: 8.9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and engaging, blending humor with moments of tension and emotion. It reveals character traits, advances the plot, and sets the tone for the scene effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its mix of humor, action, and character dynamics, keeping the audience invested in the story and character arcs.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, balancing dialogue, action, and character moments effectively to maintain tension and momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-paced dialogue and action sequences, building tension and character dynamics effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of camaraderie and tension among the characters, particularly through Deadpool's humorous interactions with Wolverine, Eleven, Billy, and Gatsby. However, the pacing feels uneven at times, with some dialogue exchanges dragging on longer than necessary, which can dilute the comedic impact.
  • Deadpool's character shines through his witty remarks and self-deprecating humor, but the introduction of new characters like Gatsby and Billy could benefit from more distinct characterization. While Gatsby's Cajun accent adds flavor, it may confuse some viewers if not clearly established earlier in the script.
  • The stakes of the scene are somewhat unclear. While Deadpool's desire to form a team is evident, the urgency of their situation in the Void could be emphasized more. Adding a sense of impending danger or a ticking clock could heighten the tension and motivate the characters to act more decisively.
  • The dialogue is often clever and funny, but some lines feel overly expository, particularly when characters explain their powers or backgrounds. This could be streamlined to maintain the flow of the scene and keep the audience engaged without feeling like they are being lectured.
  • Wolverine's character is consistent with his established persona, but his role in this scene could be expanded to show more of his internal conflict regarding the team-up. A moment of vulnerability or doubt could add depth to his character and enhance the emotional stakes.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to maintain a brisk pace, especially during exchanges that feel drawn out. Focus on the most impactful lines that reveal character or advance the plot.
  • Introduce Gatsby and Billy with more visual cues or actions that highlight their personalities before they speak. This will help the audience quickly grasp who they are and their significance in the scene.
  • Incorporate a sense of urgency or danger that compels the characters to act quickly. This could be achieved through a looming threat or a countdown to an event that requires their immediate attention.
  • Streamline exposition by showing rather than telling. Instead of characters explaining their powers, consider using visual storytelling or quick, witty banter that reveals their abilities in a more organic way.
  • Add a moment for Wolverine that reflects his internal struggle about joining the team. This could be a brief flashback or a line that hints at his past failures, making his eventual decision to join the fight more impactful.



Scene 37 - Flickering Shadows of Regret
60 EXT. HERO HIDEOUT - CAMPFIRE - NIGHT 60

Later now. Wolverine sits alone by a fire in the woods
adjacent to the bunker, drunk off his ass...

The sound of footsteps crunching on earth as we ANGLE ON:


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 90.
60 (CONTINUED) 60

Lemon. She’s come looking for him.

LOGAN
Not looking for company. Get out of
here.

Lemon sits down across the fire anyway.

LEMON
You remind me of him. Angry, drunk,
mean.

LOGAN
Sounds like a great guy.

Wolverine takes another MASSIVE PULL off his BOTTLE OF
WHISKEY.

LEMON
I wasn’t finished...you showed up
when it mattered the most. Couldn’t
help it.
(beat)
You might not know it, but you’re a
good man, Logan.

LOGAN
(chuckles, rueful)
You might not know it, but
apparently I’m the worst Logan.

LEMON
I got to have a life because of
you. I got to grow up because of
you. A lot of kids did.

Logan scowls.

LOGAN *
A lot of kids didn’t grow up *
because of me.

That hangs there. What is h e talking about?

LOGAN (CONT’D)
Trust me, kid, I’m no hero.

LEMON
That suit says different.

Logan looks at his suit, as if noticing it for the first
time. Laughs softly, empty.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 91.
60 (CONTINUED) (2) 60

LOGAN
Ya like it? Scott used to beg me to
wear it. So’d Jean, Storm, Beast...
All of them. Wanted me to be part
of the team. I wouldn’t. Told them
they all looked fucking ridiculous.
I couldn’t have ‘em thinking I
wanted to be there.
(beat)
Then one day, while I was off on my
own...the humans came. Went mutant-
hunting.

LEMON
I can guess the rest.

LOGAN
No, no, let me say it. I need to
say it.
(a breath, then)
By the time I stumbled home shit-
faced from the bar, it was too
late. They were dead. Every...

Logan stares at the fire. Holding back some unseen torrent.

LOGAN (CONT’D)
This suit’s all I got to remind me
of who they were. And what I did.
For years I wouldn’t put it on and
now I’ll never take it off.

LEMON
We’re headed to Cassandra’s at
sunup.

LOGAN
Have fun. It’s not my fight.

LEMON
We can’t pull this off without you.

Lemon gets up.

LOGAN
Hey, whoever you think I am, you’ve
got the wrong guy.

LEMON
You were always the wrong guy.

Logan takes one last swig from his bottle.
Genres: ["Action","Drama"]

Summary In a somber night scene by a campfire, a heavily intoxicated Wolverine grapples with his past as Lemon expresses gratitude for his past heroics. Despite her encouragement, Logan remains cynical, burdened by guilt and the loss of friends, viewing his suit as a reminder of his failures. Lemon urges him to join an upcoming mission, but he dismisses her, unable to see himself as the hero she believes him to be. The scene captures Logan's internal struggle with self-worth and redemption, ending with him taking a swig from his whiskey bottle, symbolizing his resignation.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Poignant dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Limited action
  • Slow pacing

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally charged, delving deep into Wolverine's character and past, providing insight into his motivations and struggles. The dialogue is poignant and impactful, revealing layers of complexity and depth.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring Wolverine's inner turmoil and past regrets is powerful and resonant. The scene effectively delves into themes of heroism, loss, and redemption.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progression in the scene is focused on character development and emotional depth. It adds layers to Wolverine's character and sets up potential future conflicts and resolutions.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the superhero genre by focusing on the emotional and psychological struggles of the protagonist rather than action-packed sequences. The authenticity of the characters' dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters, especially Wolverine, are the heart of the scene. Their interactions and emotional journey drive the narrative forward and provide insight into their motivations and struggles.

Character Changes: 8

Wolverine undergoes a subtle but significant emotional change in the scene, opening up about his past and revealing his inner struggles. This vulnerability marks a shift in his character.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist, Logan/Wolverine, is struggling with feelings of guilt and self-loathing. His internal goal is to come to terms with his past actions and find some sense of redemption.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to distance himself from the group and avoid getting involved in their mission. He wants to protect himself emotionally and physically.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on Wolverine's inner turmoil and past regrets. It sets up potential external conflicts and resolutions in future scenes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs and goals between the characters creating tension and uncertainty. The audience is left wondering how the conflict will be resolved.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are more emotional and internal, focusing on Wolverine's inner turmoil and past regrets. It sets the stage for potential external conflicts and resolutions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of Wolverine's character, setting up potential future conflicts, and establishing emotional stakes for the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations and shifts in the characters' dynamics. The audience is kept on their toes as they learn more about the protagonist's past.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of heroism and redemption. Logan sees himself as a failure and unworthy of being called a hero, while Lemon sees the good in him and believes he has made a positive impact on others.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, delving into themes of loss, regret, and redemption. The interactions between Wolverine and Lemon evoke strong emotions and resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is poignant, reflective, and emotionally charged. It effectively conveys the inner thoughts and feelings of the characters, adding depth and complexity to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth of the characters and the tension between them. The audience is drawn into the protagonist's internal struggle and the conflict with Lemon.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, allowing for moments of reflection and tension to build effectively. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the emotional impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, adhering to industry standards for screenplay formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for character-driven moments in a screenplay, allowing for emotional development and introspection.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Wolverine's internal struggle and guilt, showcasing his character depth through his interactions with Lemon. The dialogue is poignant and reveals Wolverine's emotional scars, making it relatable and impactful.
  • Lemon serves as a strong foil to Wolverine, providing a fresh perspective on his actions and their consequences. Her admiration for him contrasts sharply with his self-loathing, which adds layers to their conversation.
  • The use of the campfire setting is symbolic, representing warmth and safety, which contrasts with Wolverine's emotional coldness. However, the scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and immerse the audience in the moment.
  • While the dialogue is strong, there are moments where it feels slightly expository, particularly when Lemon states, 'You remind me of him.' This could be rephrased to feel more natural and less like a direct statement of intent.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but it could be tightened in places. For instance, Wolverine's long monologue about his past could be broken up with more interjections from Lemon to maintain a dynamic flow and keep the audience engaged.
  • The emotional stakes are high, but the scene could benefit from a stronger sense of urgency or tension regarding the upcoming mission against Cassandra. This would heighten the stakes and make Wolverine's reluctance feel even more significant.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to the setting, such as the sounds of the forest at night or the warmth of the fire, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Revise some of the dialogue to make it feel more organic. For example, instead of Lemon stating, 'You remind me of him,' she could express her feelings in a more nuanced way that reflects her character's personality.
  • Incorporate more back-and-forth dialogue to break up Wolverine's monologues. This will help maintain a dynamic rhythm and keep the audience engaged.
  • Introduce a subtle physical action or gesture from Wolverine that reflects his emotional state, such as clenching his fists or avoiding eye contact, to visually convey his internal conflict.
  • Enhance the sense of urgency regarding the mission against Cassandra by having Lemon emphasize the stakes more clearly, perhaps by referencing specific consequences if they fail.



Scene 38 - Cassandra's Gambit
61 OMITTED (FORMERLY EXT. HERO HIDEOUT) 61
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 92.


62 OMITTED (FORMERLY INT. TVA - CORRIDOR/ELEVATOR) 62

63 INT. TVA - ASSESSMENT ROOM - CONTINUOUS 63

Mr. Paradox steps inside and answers his comms device,
clearly annoyed.

MR. PARADOX
What?

It’s PYRO, rooting around in the Diner that Wolverine and
Deadpool ate in. INTERCUT as needed:

PYRO
Alioth didn’t get them. Cassandra
wanted to play with them herself
first and they got away.

Mr. Paradox looks genuinely concerned.

MR. PARADOX
Did they find the others?

PYRO
No.

MR. PARADOX
Good. Alright.

PYRO
The others found them.

MR. PARADOX
Oh, very cute. Well done, Pyro.
Classic bait and switch. You really
got me there.

PYRO
Relax. If they come after Nova,
she’ll handle it.

MR. PARADOX
Cassandra is a lunatic wildcard.
Why do you think we put her there *
in the first place? Thank god she’s *
never chosen to leave the void. The *
time ripper is hours away from
completion. I cannot take any *
chances!

PYRO *
Maybe not, but I can. For a price. *



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 93.
63 (CONTINUED) 63

MR. PARADOX
(scrunches up nose)
Why do you have to say it in that
silly voice? It’s so icky.

PYRO
Do you want it done or not?

MR. PARADOX
Alright, your price. Take her out.

Mr. Paradox hangs up.

MR. PARADOX (CONT’D)
Ugh, mutants.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Comedy"]

Summary In the TVA Assessment Room, Mr. Paradox receives a call from Pyro, who is searching for Wolverine and Deadpool. Pyro reveals that Cassandra allowed them to escape, raising Mr. Paradox's concerns about her unpredictability and the looming threat of the time ripper. Pyro offers to handle Cassandra for a price, and despite his disdain for mutants, Mr. Paradox reluctantly agrees, highlighting the tension between his authority and reliance on Pyro's skills. The scene ends with Mr. Paradox expressing his frustration as he hangs up.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Tension building
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Lack of emotional depth
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets up the stakes and conflict within the TVA while maintaining a humorous tone. The negotiation adds depth to the characters and hints at larger power struggles, keeping the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of mutant negotiations within the TVA adds intrigue and sets up future plot developments. It introduces the audience to the power struggles within the organization, adding layers to the overall narrative.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progresses as the negotiation reveals the internal conflicts and power struggles within the TVA. It sets up future events and adds complexity to the overarching story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements such as mutant characters, advanced technology, and a secretive organization, adding freshness to familiar genre tropes. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, contributing to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Mr. Paradox and Pyro are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their personalities and motivations. The interaction between the two characters adds depth to their dynamics and hints at future conflicts.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it sets up potential shifts in the dynamics and motivations of the characters involved. The negotiation hints at future developments that could lead to character growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Mr. Paradox's internal goal in this scene is to maintain control and ensure the success of his plans. His concern for the completion of the time ripper and his frustration with the mutants' actions reflect his need for order and predictability.

External Goal: 7

Mr. Paradox's external goal is to eliminate the threat posed by Nova and ensure the completion of the time ripper. This goal reflects the immediate challenge he faces in maintaining his power and authority.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The negotiation between Mr. Paradox and Pyro creates a tense atmosphere, highlighting the power struggles and conflicts within the TVA. The scene sets up future confrontations and adds depth to the overall conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations between Mr. Paradox and Pyro. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding suspense and intrigue to the scene.

High Stakes: 8

The negotiation scene establishes high stakes within the TVA, hinting at potential consequences and conflicts. It sets the stage for future confrontations and power struggles, adding tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts and power struggles within the TVA. It sets up future events and plot developments, keeping the narrative engaging and dynamic.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and unexpected twists in the characters' interactions. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the conflict will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the use of power and control. Mr. Paradox's authoritarian approach clashes with Pyro's more opportunistic and manipulative tactics, highlighting different perspectives on achieving goals.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, including tension, humor, and cynicism. While it may not be emotionally heavy, it sets the stage for future emotional developments within the narrative.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, witty, and engaging. It effectively conveys the tension and humor of the negotiation, adding depth to the characters and setting up future conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of suspense, humor, and character dynamics. The dialogue and interactions keep the audience invested in the story and create a sense of anticipation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and maintaining the audience's interest. The dialogue and action sequences are well-paced, creating a dynamic rhythm that enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions. The clarity of formatting enhances the readability of the screenplay.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character motivations, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension by showcasing Mr. Paradox's concern over the unpredictable nature of Cassandra and the impending completion of the time ripper. However, the dialogue feels somewhat expository and could benefit from more subtext or character-driven motivations to enhance engagement.
  • Mr. Paradox's annoyance with Pyro adds a layer of character, but the humor in their exchange could be sharpened. The banter feels a bit flat and could use more wit or clever wordplay to align with the overall tone of the script, especially considering the comedic nature of Deadpool's universe.
  • The stakes are established with the mention of the time ripper and Cassandra's unpredictability, but the scene lacks a strong emotional hook. The audience may not feel the urgency or danger as much as intended. Adding a moment of vulnerability or a personal stake for Mr. Paradox could enhance the tension.
  • The transition from the previous scene to this one is abrupt. While the shift from Logan's introspection to Mr. Paradox's operational concerns is logical, a smoother transition could help maintain narrative flow. Consider adding a brief moment that connects the two scenes thematically or emotionally.
  • The dialogue between Mr. Paradox and Pyro could be more dynamic. Currently, it reads as a straightforward exchange without much conflict or tension. Introducing a disagreement or differing perspectives could create a more engaging interaction.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtext into the dialogue to reveal character motivations and emotions. For example, Mr. Paradox could express personal stakes regarding Cassandra's actions, making his concern feel more urgent.
  • Enhance the humor in the exchange between Mr. Paradox and Pyro by including clever wordplay or absurdity that reflects the tone of the Deadpool universe. This could involve exaggerated reactions or unexpected responses.
  • Consider adding a moment where Mr. Paradox reflects on past experiences with Cassandra, perhaps hinting at a personal failure or regret that adds depth to his character and raises the stakes.
  • Create a smoother transition from the previous scene by including a brief moment that connects Logan's emotional state to Mr. Paradox's operational concerns, perhaps through a shared theme of loss or responsibility.
  • Introduce a conflict or disagreement in the dialogue between Mr. Paradox and Pyro to create a more dynamic interaction. This could involve differing opinions on how to handle Cassandra or the risks involved in their plans.



Scene 39 - Wasteland Assault
64 EXT. THE VOID - DESERT WASTELANDS - MORNING 64

CUE the most ASS-KICKING PUMP-UP SONG ON THIS SIDE OF DMX.
Crane down to...
65 INT. HONDA ODYSSEY - MORNING 65

Rolling through the wasteland: the beat-up ODYSSEY.

ELEVEN, in the driver’s seat, one hand draped confidently
over the steering wheel.

DEADPOOL, riding passenger, checking himself out in the visor
mirror.

LEMON, looking gorgeous and destructive at one open rear
window, wind tousling her hair.

GATSBY, SHUFFLING and RESHUFFLING cards.

BILLY, the baddest-ass sonofabitch ever to ride bitch. *

CONSPICUOUSLY ABSENT is WOLVERINE.
66 EXT. THE VOID - VARIOUS - DAY 66

Epic wide shots of the battered-to-shit Odyssey making its
odyssey (yeah, we WENT THERE) across the void...

...all the way to CASSANDRA NOVA’s HEADQUARTERS.
67 I/E. CASSANDRA’S LAIR EYE SOCKET - DAY 67

From her elevated vantage point in the EYE SOCKET of the
GIANT SKULL, Cassandra Nova watches a PLUME of DUST
approaching her STRONGHOLD.
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 94.

68 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - DAY 68

CASSANDRA’S HENCHMEN look up from their tasks, spotting the
DUST CLOUD of an approaching minivan.

JUGGERNAUT
CLOSE THE GATES!

Blob tries to hustle his immense girth to the wheel that
closes the skeleton’s hands. He starts to TURN it.
69 INT. HONDA ODYSSEY - DAY 69

Back with our heroes.

GATSBY
Look at that there. Dem biggum
hands come closed ain’t a wonna
gettin’ one up in there.

DEADPOOL *
I think what the ragin’ cajun is *
trying to say is it’s not going to *
be easy to get Juggernaut’s helmet. *
He also says he has a doctorate in *
cunnilingus. And you know what? I *
believe him. *

Billy lifts himself out the SUNROOF.

BILLY
Gun.

Gatsby passes Billy PUNISHER’S GUN.

DEADPOOL
Where’d he get that little beauty?

ELEVEN
That’s Punisher’s AT4.

From ABOVE, we see Billy, his head out the SUNROOF, wielding
PUNISHER’S BIG FUCKING GUN.

DEADPOOL
Which Punisher? There’s been like,
five of them.

BILLY
(from up top)
There’s only been one Billy.
There’s only ever gonna BE one
Billy.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 95.
69 (CONTINUED) 69

Deadpool gives a knowing look to the camera.

BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Billy fires until there
are no more BULLETS OR GRENADES. The doors blast wide open.

JUGGERNAUT
Incoming!
Genres: ["Action","Adventure","Comedy"]

Summary In a high-energy scene, Eleven confidently drives a battered Honda Odyssey through a desolate wasteland towards Cassandra Nova's skull-shaped headquarters. Inside the van, Deadpool provides comic relief, Lemon exudes fierce energy, Gatsby warns of danger, and Billy prepares for battle. As they approach, Juggernaut commands his henchmen to close the gates. Gatsby's warning prompts Billy to arm himself with Punisher's weapon, leading to an explosive confrontation as he fires from the sunroof, blasting open the stronghold's doors amidst Juggernaut's frantic shouts.
Strengths
  • Dynamic character interactions
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Action-packed sequences
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of deeper themes
  • Some characters overshadowed by others

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is highly entertaining, blending humor, action, and character dynamics effectively. The witty dialogue and fast-paced nature keep the audience engaged throughout.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a group of diverse characters embarking on a wild adventure in a post-apocalyptic setting is engaging and sets the stage for entertaining interactions and action sequences.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot progression in this scene is primarily focused on the characters' journey to Cassandra Nova's headquarters, the dynamic interactions and humorous moments drive the narrative forward effectively.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh character dynamics and a unique setting, combining elements of post-apocalyptic survival with superhero themes in a creative way.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, including Deadpool, Eleven, Lemon, Gatsby, and Billy, are well-developed and each brings a unique personality and dynamic to the group. Their interactions and banter add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

The characters, particularly Deadpool, show glimpses of growth and camaraderie as they work together towards a common goal. The interactions and challenges they face contribute to subtle changes in their dynamics.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to prove their worth and loyalty to the team, as well as to confront their own fears and insecurities.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to retrieve Juggernaut's helmet from Cassandra Nova's stronghold, showcasing their bravery and resourcefulness in the face of danger.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene maintains a high level of conflict through the action sequences, the pursuit of Juggernaut's helmet, and the dynamic interactions between the characters. The tension and stakes are consistently present.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing obstacles and challenges that test their skills and teamwork.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are present in the scene as the characters face obstacles, pursue a valuable item, and confront the looming threat of Cassandra Nova. The action and humor are heightened by the sense of danger and urgency.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by setting up the group's journey to Cassandra Nova's headquarters and introducing new challenges and dynamics. The pursuit of Juggernaut's helmet adds a sense of urgency and purpose.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and plot twists, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the characters' sense of morality and loyalty, as they navigate the challenges of their mission and confront their own personal demons.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

While the scene is primarily focused on humor and action, there are moments of camaraderie and character dynamics that evoke some emotional connection. The interactions between the characters add depth to the scene.

Dialogue: 8.5

The witty and sarcastic dialogue between the characters enhances the humor and dynamics of the scene. The banter and exchanges contribute to the overall entertainment value.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its mix of action, humor, and character development, keeping the audience invested in the outcome of the mission.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing action sequences with character moments, maintaining a sense of urgency and momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character arcs and a strong sense of pacing, building tension towards the climax.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and humorous tone characteristic of Deadpool, with witty dialogue and absurd situations. However, the humor sometimes feels forced, particularly in Deadpool's quips about the 'raging cajun' and cunnilingus, which may detract from the overall flow of the scene. Balancing humor with character development is crucial, especially in a team dynamic where each character should have a distinct voice.
  • The introduction of characters like Eleven, Gatsby, and Billy is engaging, but their personalities could be more fleshed out. For instance, while Billy's confidence is evident, his motivations and relationship with the group could be explored further to enhance audience investment. Consider giving each character a moment to shine or a unique line that encapsulates their essence.
  • The action sequence with the minivan is visually dynamic, but the stakes could be heightened. The scene hints at danger with Juggernaut's henchmen closing the gates, yet the tension feels somewhat muted. Adding a sense of urgency or a countdown could amplify the suspense and make the eventual explosion of the doors more impactful.
  • The dialogue is clever, but some lines, particularly Deadpool's, could benefit from being more concise. For example, the exchange about the Punisher's gun could be streamlined to maintain pacing. Tightening dialogue can enhance comedic timing and keep the audience engaged.
  • The transition from the previous scene to this one is somewhat abrupt. While the energy is high, a smoother segue could help maintain narrative continuity. Consider incorporating a brief moment of reflection or a humorous callback to the previous scene to create a more cohesive flow.
Suggestions
  • Refine Deadpool's dialogue to ensure it feels organic and not overly forced. Aim for humor that arises naturally from the situation or character interactions.
  • Develop the supporting characters further by giving them distinct lines or actions that highlight their personalities and motivations, making them more memorable.
  • Increase the stakes during the action sequence by introducing a time constraint or a more immediate threat, enhancing the tension as they approach Cassandra's stronghold.
  • Streamline dialogue exchanges to improve pacing and maintain the comedic rhythm, ensuring that each line serves a purpose in character development or plot progression.
  • Create a smoother transition between scenes by incorporating a brief moment that connects the previous events to the current action, reinforcing narrative continuity.



Scene 40 - Final Stand in the Arena
70 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - DAY 70

The van SLAMS through the remains of the skeletal, now
flaming, gloved hands of the gate.
71 INT. CASSANDRA’S LAIR EYE SOCKET - DAY 71

HIGH ABOVE, Cassandra watches from the SKULL’s EYE SOCKET.
72 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - DAY 72

The van’s SIDE DOORS SLIDE OPEN. In SLO-MO, our heroes GET
OUT and assume a WEDGE FORMATION in front of the VAN.

LEMON. ELEVEN. BILLY. GATSBY.

And taking his place at the point of the spear... DEADPOOL.

Then, just when we think shit can’t get cooler, the TRUNK of
the MINIVAN opens, slowly, automatically, the way those
things do.

A set of fingers wrap around the rearmost pillar, revealing:

...ADAMANTIUM CLAWS.
Out of the back of the minivan steps...

...WOLVERINE. Ready for fucking hell.

BILLY
Oh, this is going to be good.

GATSBY
You know how long I been waiting
for this? Woo, I’m bouta make a
name for myself here.

Cassandra’s henchmen leave their posts. It’s a murderer’s row
of VARIANTS:

JUGGERNAUT, TOAD, BULLSEYE, LADY DEATHSTRIKE, AZAZEL, QUILL,
ARCLIGHT, CALLISTO, NICK FURY, THE RUSSIAN, PSYLOCKE, and
various NDs.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 96.
72 (CONTINUED) 72

And they are standing between our heroes and the GIANT
SKULL...or more specifically the entrance to Cassandra’s BASE
OF OPERATIONS.

WOLVERINE
I don’t think you guys walk away
from this.

GATSBY
You just make sure people know what
happened here today. And when you
get out of here, you have a drink
for me, yeah?

BILLY
You just stay on our six and get
inside. We’ll make sure you get the
package.

ELEVEN *
And we’ll get our ending. *

Eleven, Billy, and Gatsby TEAR into Cassandra’s troops... *

Gatsby throws cards, clearing a path. *

GATSBY *
And boom. *

BILLY *
Some motherfuckers still trying to *
ice skate uphill. Pony up. One last *
ride. *

The four heroes MOW through the formidable foes, making a *
path for Deadpool and Wolverine to make their way to the
fortress.
73 E/I. CASSANDRA’S INNER SANCTUM - DAY 73

Deadpool and Wolverine enter the hollowed out BRAIN CAVITY of
the GIANT SKULL. It’s spartan - think... the interior of a
skull.

Cassandra sits on a throne in the center of the room.

CASSANDRA NOVA
You two escaping I could live with.
But coming back? Willingly? Boys
are so silly.

DEADPOOL
I just need to get home.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 97.
73 (CONTINUED) 73

CASSANDRA NOVA
Well, that’s not on the menu, I’m
afraid. It’s death or enslavement.
A la carte, of course. Upsy-daisy! *

Cassandra flicks her hand and smashes Deadpool off every side *
of the skull and the steel trusses holding it up.

She turns to Wolverine.

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
Finally. It’s nice to give someone
else a chance to talk.

WOLVERINE
Not my strong suit.

Cassandra forces Wolverine’s claws into the ground.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Fantasy"]

Summary In a dramatic showdown, Deadpool, Wolverine, Billy, Gatsby, and Eleven emerge from a van crashing through the remnants of a skeletal arena, ready to face Cassandra and her henchmen, including Juggernaut, Toad, and Bullseye. As they engage in a fierce battle, Gatsby uses his cards to aid the team while Billy delivers an inspiring speech about their last stand. The conflict escalates when Deadpool and Wolverine confront Cassandra in her inner sanctum, where she reveals her sinister intentions and demonstrates her powers by violently tossing Deadpool around, setting the stage for a direct confrontation with Wolverine.
Strengths
  • Dynamic action sequences
  • Engaging character interactions
  • High-stakes conflict
  • Sharp dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Potential for overcrowding with the introduction of multiple variants

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted with a mix of intense action, humor, and drama. It effectively sets up the final showdown between the heroes and Cassandra Nova, keeping the audience engaged and excited for the resolution.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the final showdown in a giant skeletal arena, the introduction of variants as formidable foes, and the confrontation with Cassandra Nova are innovative and engaging, adding depth to the storyline.

Plot: 9.2

The plot of the scene is crucial as it sets up the climax of the story, bringing together all the key characters for a decisive battle. The progression of the plot keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a mix of supernatural and futuristic elements, along with a diverse cast of characters with unique abilities. The dialogue feels authentic and adds depth to the characters.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, each with their unique traits and motivations. The interactions between the heroes and villains add depth to their personalities and drive the conflict forward.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo significant challenges and revelations in the scene, leading to personal growth and transformation. Their actions and decisions shape the outcome of the final showdown.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect their team and complete the mission. This reflects their deeper need for redemption and a sense of purpose.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to defeat Cassandra and her henchmen to reach her base of operations. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and high-stakes, with the heroes facing formidable foes and a powerful antagonist. The tension between the characters drives the action forward and keeps the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with formidable foes standing in the way of the protagonist's goal.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, with the heroes facing enslavement or death at the hands of Cassandra Nova. The outcome of the final showdown will determine the fate of their worlds and the future of the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward towards its climax, resolving key conflicts and setting the stage for the ultimate confrontation with Cassandra Nova. It advances the narrative and builds anticipation for the resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the action and character interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the choice between death or enslavement, reflecting the antagonist's belief in power and control over others.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.8

The scene delivers a mix of emotions, from tension and defiance to hope and determination. The characters' struggles and sacrifices evoke empathy and connection with the audience.

Dialogue: 8.8

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and impactful, reflecting the tension and emotions of the scene. It effectively conveys the characters' motivations and adds depth to their relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining tension and momentum throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and action descriptions.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and excitement as the heroes prepare for battle, utilizing slow-motion and dynamic visuals to enhance the action. However, the dialogue could benefit from more distinct character voices to ensure each hero's personality shines through, especially in a group dynamic where they are all vying for attention.
  • The introduction of Wolverine with adamantium claws is a strong visual moment, but it could be enhanced by adding a brief moment of hesitation or reflection from Wolverine before he steps out. This would deepen his character and highlight the stakes of the battle ahead.
  • Cassandra's dialogue is clever and menacing, but it feels slightly generic. Adding a more personal touch or a taunt that references past encounters with Deadpool or Wolverine could make her more memorable and heighten the stakes.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the transition from the action outside to the confrontation inside Cassandra's lair could be smoother. Consider adding a moment of silence or a dramatic pause before entering the inner sanctum to emphasize the gravity of the situation.
  • While the action is engaging, the scene could benefit from a clearer visual hierarchy. The introduction of multiple henchmen can be overwhelming; consider focusing on a few key antagonists to create a more manageable and impactful confrontation.
Suggestions
  • Enhance character differentiation by giving each hero a unique catchphrase or action that reflects their personality during the battle sequence.
  • Incorporate a moment of introspection for Wolverine before he joins the fight, perhaps reflecting on his past failures or the importance of this battle, to add depth to his character.
  • Revise Cassandra's dialogue to include personal jabs at Deadpool and Wolverine, referencing their pasts to create a more engaging and threatening presence.
  • Add a dramatic pause or moment of silence before transitioning into Cassandra's lair to heighten the tension and anticipation.
  • Streamline the introduction of henchmen by focusing on a few key antagonists, allowing for more detailed interactions and a clearer sense of threat.



Scene 41 - Chaos in the Arena
74 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - DAY 74

Absolute MAYHEM has erupted in the ARENA. BILLY, ELEVEN,
GATSBY, and LEMON are a virtual CUISINART of stakes, sai
blades, playing cards, and claws.

Lemon betrays the smallest hint of a Mona Lisa smile. It’s
almost like she WANTS THIS. Juggernaut points his beefy
finger right at Lemon.

And with that, Juggernaut and Lemon charge right at each
other!

Meanwhile, BILLY cuts off TOAD’S TONGUE and STRANGLES him
with it before plunging a KNIFE right into the villain’s
skull.

GATSBY’s playing cards are way, way deadlier than we might
have given credit.

JUGGERNAUT charges right at Lemon, but Lemon is too fast, too
vicious. She slides low, ducking his arm and taking out
Juggernaut’s achilles. He falls to one knee, struggling to
stand. He manages to turn around but she’s GONE. Out of
nowhere, she’s now behind him. Slashes the other Achilles.
Juggs is on both knees. Excruciating pain. She slides to a
stop.

LEMON
Adios, Pendejo.

Like a god damn vision, she hunkers down and heads straight
for Juggs one last time. Blades out. She launches herself
into the air... AND WE:


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 98.
74 (CONTINUED) 74

Gatsby launches at another henchman.

GATSBY
You shouldn’t have done that.

Gatsby stabs the henchman.
75 INT. CASSANDRA’S INNER SANCTUM - DAY 75

Deadpool lies in a heap, knocked out cold from the bashing
he’s just taken. Cassandra now turns her attention towards
Wolverine.

CASSANDRA NOVA
You are an interesting one, aren’t
you? I do feel like you get lost
behind all of his--
(makes yapping motion)
Deadpools are a dime a dozen here
in the Void, but you...
Wolverine pops his claws and lunges! He throws clawed-
haymakers at Cassandra, but she dodges them with subtle but
freakish agility, weaves through his strikes and latches her
hand onto the back of his head. Instantly, Wolverine is
forced down onto his knees in a supplicant pose, his claws
plunged down into the ground, trapped. Cassandra crouches
down next to him, her face inches from his.

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
(re: his head)
What’s going on in here? *

Then she PLUNGES her fingers deeper into Wolverine’s mind.
Her eyes roll back in her head.
Genres: ["Action","Adventure","Fantasy"]

Summary In a chaotic skeletal arena, heroes Billy, Eleven, Gatsby, and Lemon engage in fierce combat against their foes. Lemon showcases her agility by defeating Juggernaut with a cunning attack, while Billy brutally kills Toad. Gatsby uses his lethal playing cards to eliminate a henchman. The scene shifts to Cassandra's inner sanctum, where she confronts and traps Wolverine, probing his mind as he struggles against her control. The intense and violent atmosphere culminates in a psychological conflict, leaving Wolverine vulnerable.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Limited character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-structured, with a clear focus on the intense combat between the characters. The action sequences are engaging, and the dramatic tension keeps the audience invested in the outcome.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around the clash between heroes and villains in a high-stakes battle. It explores themes of sacrifice, redemption, and the struggle for survival in a hostile environment.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene advances the overall narrative by escalating the conflict between the characters and setting up the final confrontation with the antagonist. It adds depth to the characters and raises the stakes for the upcoming events.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its depiction of a brutal arena battle and the unique skills and tactics used by the characters. The dialogue and actions feel authentic and contribute to the tension and excitement of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and showcase their unique personalities and abilities during the combat sequences. The interactions between the heroes and villains add depth to their motivations and relationships.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo some changes during the scene, particularly in their relationships and motivations. The conflicts and challenges they face lead to personal growth and self-discovery.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to prove their strength, skill, and determination in the face of overwhelming odds. This reflects their need for validation, control, and power.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to defeat their opponents and survive the battle. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the arena.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with intense physical and emotional confrontations between the characters. The stakes are raised as the heroes face formidable opponents and must overcome their own doubts and fears.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing difficult challenges and obstacles that test their skills and determination. The audience is unsure of the outcome, adding to the tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and moral dilemmas. The outcome of the battle will have significant consequences for the characters and the world they inhabit.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by escalating the conflict and setting up the final confrontation with the antagonist. It introduces new challenges and obstacles for the characters to overcome, driving the narrative towards its climax.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and the outcome of the battle. The audience is kept guessing about the fates of the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the idea of survival of the fittest and the morality of violence. The protagonist's actions challenge their beliefs about the necessity of violence and the consequences of their choices.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a strong emotional impact, with moments of tension, drama, and sacrifice that resonate with the audience. The characters' struggles and vulnerabilities add depth to the action sequences.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but impactful, focusing on the actions and emotions of the characters during the intense combat. It effectively conveys the tension and conflict between the heroes and villains.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense action, high stakes, and dynamic character interactions. The fast-paced nature of the scene keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-crafted, with a balance of action, dialogue, and tension that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome of the battle.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear scene headings, action descriptions, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear action sequences, dialogue, and character interactions that drive the plot forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaos of battle, showcasing the unique fighting styles of each character. However, the transitions between the action sequences could be smoother. For instance, the shift from Lemon's confrontation with Juggernaut to Gatsby's attack on another henchman feels abrupt. A brief moment of reaction or a visual cue could help the audience follow the action more fluidly.
  • Lemon's character is given a strong moment with her 'Adios, Pendejo' line, which adds a layer of personality. However, the scene could benefit from more character development for the other fighters, particularly Gatsby and Billy. While their actions are visually engaging, their motivations and personalities are less defined, making it harder for the audience to connect with them.
  • Cassandra's dialogue with Wolverine is intriguing, but it could be enhanced by providing more context about her intentions. The line about Deadpools being 'a dime a dozen' is clever, but it might leave the audience wanting more clarity on why she sees Wolverine as different. A hint at her ultimate goal could heighten the stakes.
  • The visual imagery of the 'CUISINART of stakes, sai blades, playing cards, and claws' is vivid and engaging, but it risks overwhelming the reader with too much information at once. Simplifying this description or breaking it down into smaller, more digestible parts could enhance clarity.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the transition from the chaotic arena to Cassandra's inner sanctum could be more pronounced. The audience might benefit from a brief moment of reflection or a visual cue that signifies the shift in location and tone.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reaction from the characters after significant actions, such as Lemon's victory over Juggernaut, to create a more cohesive flow between the action sequences.
  • Develop Gatsby and Billy's characters further by incorporating a line or two that reflects their personalities or motivations during the fight, allowing the audience to connect with them more deeply.
  • Enhance Cassandra's dialogue by providing a clearer indication of her motivations and goals, which would help to raise the stakes and create a more compelling conflict with Wolverine.
  • Simplify the initial description of the chaotic battle to make it more accessible, perhaps by focusing on one or two key elements that encapsulate the mayhem without overwhelming the reader.
  • Create a more distinct transition between the arena chaos and the inner sanctum by using a visual or auditory cue, such as a sound effect or a character's line that signifies the change in setting and tone.



Scene 42 - Confronting Shadows
76 EXT. LOGAN’S MINDSCAPE - DAWN 76

Cassandra and Logan stand in a gorgeous, ethereal place.

CASSANDRA NOVA
Interesting. Not what I expected.
Back here behind the anger.

Cassandra walks alongside him.

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
You’re hiding... From them. From
all the ones you let down.

Wolverine falls to his knees.

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
So much pain. *


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 99.
76 (CONTINUED) 76

WOLVERINE *
I walked away. They called after *
me... and I walked away. I always *
do. *

Cassandra studies him. *

CASSANDRA NOVA *
I know. That’s not all you did, is *
it? *

The screams of children give way to the SHRIEKS of DYING MEN. *
THE SOLDIERS. *

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D) *
(sympathetic) *
You found them. The X-Men. *

WOLVERINE *
Dead. Piled like wood. *

CASSANDRA NOVA *
What did you do? *

WOLVERINE *
I started killing. And I couldn’t *
stop. I didn’t want to stop. *

CASSANDRA NOVA *
All those bad men. *

Wolverine is consumed by guilt. He’s never said this out *
loud. *

WOLVERINE *
Not just the bad ones. *

Cassandra is so impressed. *

CASSANDRA NOVA *
My little animal. *

WOLVERINE *
I did things you can’t forget. And *
I turned the whole world against *
the X-Men. *

CASSANDRA NOVA *
You killed Xavier’s dream. *

Wolverine nods. Disarmed. A kind of serenity flows through
him. One we haven’t seen.
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 100.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Drama"]

Summary In a haunting mindscape at dawn, Cassandra Nova guides Wolverine through his emotional turmoil. As he kneels in anguish, he reveals his guilt over abandoning the X-Men and acknowledges the innocent lives lost due to his actions. This moment of vulnerability allows him to confront his past, leading to a rare sense of serenity amidst his regret.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character exploration
  • Intense dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external action
  • Limited interaction with other characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene delves deep into Wolverine's emotional turmoil and inner conflict, providing a poignant and impactful moment in the story. The intense dialogue and character revelations elevate the scene's emotional depth.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of delving into Wolverine's past and his inner demons adds depth to the character and the overall narrative. The exploration of guilt and remorse resonates with the audience and enriches the story.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progression in this scene focuses on character development and emotional exploration rather than action. It serves as a pivotal moment in Wolverine's arc, revealing crucial aspects of his past and motivations.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to exploring the protagonist's guilt and redemption, with authentic character actions and dialogue that add authenticity to the emotional conflict.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The scene showcases strong character development, particularly for Wolverine, as his vulnerabilities and inner struggles are laid bare. Cassandra Nova's role in challenging Wolverine adds depth to their dynamic.

Character Changes: 9

Wolverine undergoes significant emotional growth and introspection in this scene, confronting his past actions and the consequences of his choices. The interaction with Cassandra Nova prompts a shift in his perspective.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront his guilt and come to terms with the pain he has caused. This reflects his deeper need for redemption and forgiveness.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to face the consequences of his actions and acknowledge the harm he has done to others.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Wolverine grapples with his past actions and the weight of his guilt. The emotional conflict between Wolverine and Cassandra Nova adds tension and depth to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external challenges that test his beliefs and values.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high on an emotional level, as Wolverine confronts his past and grapples with the weight of his actions. The scene sets the stage for pivotal character development and future conflicts.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of Wolverine's character and motivations. It sets the stage for further exploration of his internal struggles and redemption arc.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations and character developments that challenge the audience's expectations.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's struggle with his past actions and the impact they have had on the world around him. It challenges his beliefs about redemption and forgiveness.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sympathy, guilt, and introspection. Wolverine's emotional journey and the intense confrontation with Cassandra Nova resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is poignant and impactful, delving into themes of guilt, regret, and redemption. The emotional depth of the conversations between Wolverine and Cassandra Nova drives the scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, introspective dialogue, and vivid imagery that draw the audience into the protagonist's inner turmoil and guilt.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and emotional depth gradually, allowing the audience to connect with the protagonist's inner turmoil.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions that enhance the emotional impact of the dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and emotional depth through character interactions and introspective dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a moment of vulnerability for Wolverine, allowing him to confront his guilt and past actions. This emotional depth is crucial for character development, especially in a superhero narrative where characters often grapple with their moral choices.
  • Cassandra Nova's role as a manipulative figure is well-established, and her dialogue serves to provoke Wolverine's introspection. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext; while it is clear that she is trying to elicit a reaction from him, adding layers to her motivations could enhance the tension.
  • The imagery of the mindscape is described as 'gorgeous' and 'ethereal,' which sets a stark contrast to the heavy emotional content. However, the scene could be enriched by incorporating more sensory details that evoke the atmosphere—what does this place sound like, smell like, or feel like? This would help ground the audience in the setting.
  • Wolverine's admission of guilt is powerful, but the pacing feels slightly rushed. The emotional weight of his confessions could be amplified by allowing for pauses or reactions from Cassandra, which would give the audience time to absorb the gravity of his words.
  • The transition from the previous scene to this one is abrupt. While the emotional stakes are high, a smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative. Perhaps a brief moment of silence or a visual cue could bridge the two scenes more effectively.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more sensory details to the mindscape to create a richer atmosphere. Describe the sounds, colors, and textures that Wolverine experiences as he confronts his past.
  • Introduce more subtext in Cassandra's dialogue. Instead of being overtly sympathetic, she could use more ambiguous language that leaves the audience questioning her true intentions.
  • Allow for more pauses in Wolverine's dialogue to emphasize the weight of his confessions. This could involve Cassandra reacting to his words, which would create a more dynamic exchange.
  • Explore the emotional aftermath of Wolverine's admissions. How does he physically react to his own words? Adding physicality can enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Create a smoother transition from the previous scene by incorporating a moment of silence or a visual cue that reflects the shift from chaos to introspection.



Scene 43 - Chaos and Confrontation
77 OMITTED(FORMERLY INT. CASSANDRA’S INNER SANCTUM) 77

78 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - CONTINUOUS 78

We are tracking with Lemon, wearing her backpack, as she
races through the fight-pit, charging through a path cleared
by Eleven, Billy, and Gatsby who continue to absolutely
fucking decimate their foes.

Lemon LEAPS from the blood-stained ground UP TO THE FACE OF
THE GIANT SKULL, which she proceeds to run at an impossibly
fast speed, her claws and foot-claws like crampons, as she
scales the face of the giant skeleton towards the eye socket.

Just as Lemon reaches the eye socket she is YANKED OFF the
face of the skull by PSYLOCKE’S WHIP!

Down on the ground below, Psylocke YANKS HARD, pulling Lemon
off the skeletal face.

WITH LEMON IN SLO-MO:

WITH PSYLOCKE’S WHIP WRAPPED AROUND HER WAIST, Lemon flings
her backpack into the eye-socket as she gets ripped off the
skull and pulled violently back down into the pit.

The backpack BARELY makes it inside, vanishing as it enters
the eye socket.
79 INT. CASSANDRA’S INNER SANCTUM - CONTINUOUS 79

DEADPOOL’S POV: SLO-MO. The silhouette of the backpack arcs
up and through the eye socket. Rolling to a stop.
80 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - CONTINUOUS 80

Still in SLO-MO, Lemon falls back towards the earth. With
laser-focus SHE TURNS IN MID-AIR and locks in on Psylocke
down below, still holding the other end of the whip.

Psylocke meets Lemon’s gaze, seeing her own imminent doom.

Lemon lands HARD on the earth below, KILLING Psylocke before
she even knows what hit her.
81 EXT. LOGAN’S MINDSCAPE - DAWN 81

Wolverine’s voice breaks. Sobs. *

Cut back to the MINDSCAPE. Cassandra is crouched next to
Wolverine. *




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 101.
81 (CONTINUED) 81

Wolverine hangs his head in anguish and shame. Cassandra
looks at him sympathetically.

CASSANDRA NOVA
You can’t go back there. To that *
judgement.

WOLVERINE *
Just once I want to be the man that *
Charles thought I was. *

CASSANDRA NOVA *
Logan. In the void, you can be what *
you are.

WOLVERINE
I just wanna be free.

CASSANDRA NOVA
I can set you free. I can silence
all those voices... *

The voices fall silent. Wolverine looks relieved.

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
I’ve got you.
(strokes his head)
I’ve got you. *

Wolverine looks up.

WOLVERINE
No.
(the tiniest twinkle in
his eye)
I got you.

Cassandra doesn’t understand. Suddenly, the sky darkens and
she looks up. It’s as if someone is putting a lid on the sky.
82 OMITTED(FORMERLY INT. CASSANDRA’S INNER SANCTUM) 82

83 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - CONTINUOUS 83

We track fast along the blood-soaked ground, arriving at
Juggernaut. Still upright on his knees. Decapitated.
GLORIOUSLY DEAD.
84 INT. CASSANDRA’S INNER SANCTUM - CONTINUOUS 84

Cassandra SCREAMS. The HELMET BULGES WITH STRAIN. It takes
all of Deadpool’s strength to hold it on her head.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 102.
84 (CONTINUED) 84

CASSANDRA NOVA
Get it off!

Wolverine stands, triumphantly, claws popped.

DEADPOOL
Can’t do that. You made Mr.
Stabbins angry. You’re going to
send us home, or I’m going to twist
your fucking head off-- why are you
laughing?

Indeed, Cassandra has started laughing.

CASSANDRA NOVA
I can’t send you home unless you
get this thing off my head. And as
soon as you do that, I’m going to
boil your brains on an atomic level
whilst flicking my bean to the Enya *
box set.

DEADPOOL
There’s an Enya box set?

Wolverine and Deadpool shoot each other a look. Shit.

CASSANDRA NOVA
Either you kill me or I kill you.
Both wonderful options.
85 OMITTED (FORMERLY EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA) 85
Genres: ["Action","Adventure","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a chaotic fight-pit, Lemon battles alongside Eleven, Billy, and Gatsby against formidable foes. She attempts to scale a giant skeletal structure but is pulled down by Psylocke's whip. In a dramatic slow-motion moment, Lemon throws her backpack into the skull's eye socket before falling, landing on Psylocke and killing her. The scene shifts to Wolverine's mindscape, where he confronts his past with Cassandra Nova, who offers to silence his inner turmoil. Wolverine rejects her offer, asserting his agency as the sky darkens ominously, hinting at impending danger.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Humorous banter between characters
Weaknesses
  • Some elements may be too chaotic for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is well-structured with a good balance of action, emotion, and humor. It effectively moves the plot forward and showcases character development.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of the scene, focusing on the final showdown with the antagonist, is compelling and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.7

The plot of the scene is crucial in setting up the climax of the story and resolving key conflicts between the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene features unique elements like the giant skeletal arena, supernatural abilities, and dark humor. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 8.8

The characters are well-developed and show growth and depth, especially in their interactions and emotional revelations.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo significant emotional changes, confronting their pasts and making decisions that impact their futures.

Internal Goal: 8

Lemon's internal goal is to survive and defeat her enemies in the fight-pit. This reflects her desire for self-preservation and victory.

External Goal: 7.5

Lemon's external goal is to retrieve her backpack and defeat Psylocke. This reflects the immediate challenge she faces in the fight-pit.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters is intense and drives the action forward, adding tension and drama to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing life-threatening challenges and moral dilemmas that add tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face a life-or-death situation and must confront their inner demons to succeed.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story towards its climax, resolving key conflicts and setting up the final confrontation with the antagonist.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in character actions and outcomes, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the choice between killing or being killed, as highlighted by Cassandra Nova's ultimatum to Lemon and Deadpool. This challenges the characters' moral values and beliefs.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the characters and the audience, particularly in moments of vulnerability and defiance.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals important aspects of the characters' personalities and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense action, moral dilemmas, and witty dialogue that keeps the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing action sequences with character moments, creating a dynamic rhythm.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene's formatting is clear and easy to follow, with effective use of visual cues and descriptions to enhance the action.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a dynamic structure with a clear progression of events and character interactions. It maintains tension and momentum.


Critique
  • The scene effectively combines action and humor, maintaining the tone established throughout the screenplay. The use of slow-motion during Lemon's fall adds a dramatic flair, enhancing the impact of her actions and the stakes of the battle.
  • The transition between the chaotic fight-pit and Wolverine's emotional moment in his mindscape is well-executed, providing a contrast between the external conflict and Wolverine's internal struggle. This juxtaposition deepens the narrative and character development.
  • Cassandra's dialogue is strong, particularly her manipulation of Wolverine's emotions. However, the scene could benefit from more clarity regarding her motivations and the stakes involved in her offer to silence Wolverine's inner turmoil.
  • The humor in Deadpool's lines is consistent with his character, but some of the jokes, particularly about the Enya box set, may feel out of place given the gravity of the situation. Balancing humor with the emotional weight of the scene is crucial.
  • The pacing is generally good, but the scene could be tightened in certain areas to maintain momentum. For instance, the dialogue between Wolverine and Cassandra could be more concise to keep the tension high.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Wolverine before he responds to Cassandra, allowing the audience to feel the weight of his decision more profoundly.
  • Clarify Cassandra's motivations and the consequences of her offer to Wolverine. This could be achieved through additional dialogue or visual cues that hint at her true intentions.
  • Revisit the humor in Deadpool's lines to ensure they align with the scene's emotional tone. Perhaps focus on more situational humor that arises from the chaos rather than pop culture references that may distract from the moment.
  • Tighten the dialogue between Wolverine and Cassandra to enhance the urgency of the scene. Aim for impactful lines that convey their emotional states without unnecessary exposition.
  • Consider incorporating more visual elements that symbolize Wolverine's internal struggle, such as flashes of his past or representations of his guilt, to deepen the emotional resonance of the scene.



Scene 44 - The Dilemma of Mercy
86 INT. CASSANDRA’S INNER SANCTUM - CONTINUOUS 86

DEADPOOL and WOLVERINE decide CASSANDRA’s fate. No matter
which way they look at it, it’s lose-lose.

Deadpool looks hopelessly at Wolverine. It’s over.

Wolverine looks down at his claws. Sadness overtakes him.

DEADPOOL
You want me to do it?

WOLVERINE
No. I’ll do it.

DEADPOOL
I have her neck right here. It’s *
really no problem. *

WOLVERINE
You’ll screw it up.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 103.
86 (CONTINUED) 86

DEADPOOL
Oh come on, Mr. PG-13-Except-For-
The-Last-One?

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! Cassandra’s body is wracked by BULLETS.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D) *
What the fuck? *

PYRO reveals himself, gun in hand, barrel smoking.

He lets the gun fall from his hands...

Cassandra gasps for air, blood flying from her mouth.

PYRO
(strutting toward the
fallen Cassandra)
Oh. You have no idea what it’s
like. Day after day, ‘Shovel the
shit’, ‘fetch the meats’. I’ve
spent my entire existence--

Deadpool punches the fucking SHIT out of him, dropping him to
the deck.

WOLVERINE
Not everyone gets a speech.
(then)
Fuck. She’s going to die.

DEADPOOL
(to Cassandra)
Okay, if I take this helmet off. Do
you promise you won’t kill us?

WOLVERINE
Fuck.

CASSANDRA NOVA
(laughing)
I promise I will kill you first
thing.

DEADPOOL
WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!

CASSANDRA NOVA
I wish I knew.

WOLVERINE
Take it off.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 104.
86 (CONTINUED) (2) 86

DEADPOOL
What?

Deadpool just looks at Wolverine, shocked.

WOLVERINE
Take it off!

DEADPOOL
Why? This is our only chance to fix
our shit.

Wolverine gets serious.

WOLVERINE
TAKE IT OFF. I’m wearing the suit,
and that means a lot of things, but
most of all it means I’m an X-Man.
I am the X-Man. And I know your
brother. As much as I want to
fucking kill you with every bone in
my body. I want to fucking kill
you. He would not let me stand here
and watch you die.
(beat)
Take your hands off.

Cassandra is shocked...because she felt that.

WOLVERINE (CONT’D)
This is for Charles.

Wolverine removes the JUGGERNAUT HELMET.

Cassandra’s wounds instantly SNAP shut. Cassandra lifts her
arm in Deadpool’s direction.

DEADPOOL
No, no, no. Don’t you dare do me
like Johnny.

Cassandra keeps her distance. *

DEADPOOL (CONT’D) *
Please, just send us home. *
Genres: ["Action","Adventure","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a tense confrontation within Cassandra's inner sanctum, Deadpool and Wolverine grapple with the moral dilemma of whether to kill the critically injured Cassandra. Deadpool offers to end her life, but Wolverine insists on saving her, revealing his emotional connection to his mentor, Charles. As they debate, Pyro shoots Cassandra, prompting Deadpool to retaliate. Ultimately, Wolverine removes Cassandra's helmet, allowing her wounds to heal instantly, but she responds with a menacing threat to Deadpool, leaving the situation unresolved.
Strengths
  • Intense decision-making moment
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Surprising twist with Pyro
  • Tension and humor balance
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue may come across as forced or overly dramatic

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is well-structured, intense, and emotionally charged, with a mix of humor and seriousness that keeps the audience engaged. The decision-making process and character revelations add depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8.6

The concept of a final confrontation with a powerful antagonist, coupled with internal conflicts among the heroes, is compelling and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.7

The plot advances significantly as the characters face a crucial decision that will impact the outcome of their mission. The scene sets the stage for the resolution of key conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the superhero genre by delving into moral dilemmas, complex character relationships, and unexpected plot twists. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.8

The characters, especially Deadpool and Wolverine, are well-developed and their interactions reveal their complex personalities and motivations. The scene highlights their growth and internal struggles.

Character Changes: 9

Wolverine undergoes a significant change as he grapples with his sense of duty and makes a selfless decision. Deadpool also shows growth in his willingness to sacrifice for the greater good.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to make a difficult decision regarding Cassandra's fate, reflecting their deeper struggle with morality, loyalty, and the consequences of their actions.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to save Cassandra from imminent death, reflecting the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is high as the characters face a life-or-death decision and must confront their inner demons. The stakes are raised, leading to a tense and dramatic confrontation.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals, moral dilemmas, and unpredictable outcomes. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will resolve.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as the characters face a critical decision that will determine the outcome of their mission and the fate of their world. The tension and urgency are palpable.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by resolving key conflicts, setting up the final showdown with Cassandra, and deepening the characters' arcs. It paves the way for the climax of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and decisions made by the characters, the shifting power dynamics, and the moral ambiguity of the situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of redemption, forgiveness, and the complexity of moral choices. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs about justice, mercy, and the value of life.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from sadness and desperation to hope and shock. The characters' vulnerabilities and struggles resonate with the audience, creating a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is sharp, emotional, and reflective of the characters' personalities. It effectively conveys the tension and stakes of the situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense conflict, emotional stakes, and moral complexity. The dynamic between the characters, the unexpected twists, and the high emotional impact keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension, creating suspense, and allowing for emotional beats to land. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences enhances the overall impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character actions, and dialogue. It enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and emotional impact.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and moral dilemma faced by Deadpool and Wolverine regarding Cassandra's fate. The dialogue is sharp and reflects the characters' personalities well, particularly Deadpool's humor juxtaposed with Wolverine's seriousness.
  • The stakes are clear, with the characters grappling with the consequences of their actions. However, the pacing feels slightly rushed, especially when Pyro interrupts the moment. This sudden shift could benefit from a more gradual build-up to enhance the emotional weight of the decision.
  • Cassandra's character is intriguing, but her motivations could be more clearly defined. While she promises to kill them, her reasoning feels somewhat vague. Providing a clearer insight into her character could deepen the conflict and make the stakes feel more personal.
  • The humor in Deadpool's lines is consistent with his character, but some jokes may detract from the gravity of the moment. For instance, the line about 'Mr. PG-13' feels out of place in a scene that is otherwise focused on life-and-death stakes. Balancing humor with the seriousness of the situation is crucial.
  • Wolverine's emotional connection to Charles Xavier is a strong element, but it could be further emphasized. A brief flashback or a more explicit reference to their relationship could enhance the emotional impact of his decision to save Cassandra.
Suggestions
  • Consider slowing down the pacing when Pyro enters the scene. Allow for a moment of shock and confusion before the action escalates, which can heighten the emotional stakes.
  • Clarify Cassandra's motivations and backstory. A line or two that hints at her past or her connection to the heroes could make her character more compelling and the stakes more personal.
  • Reevaluate the placement of humor in this scene. While Deadpool's quips are essential to his character, ensure they don't undermine the emotional gravity of the moment. Perhaps save some of the humor for after the tension has been resolved.
  • Enhance Wolverine's emotional arc by incorporating a brief flashback or a more explicit reference to his relationship with Charles Xavier. This could provide a deeper understanding of his motivations and the weight of his decision.
  • Consider adding a moment of hesitation or internal conflict for Deadpool before he decides to take off Cassandra's helmet. This could add depth to his character and make the eventual decision feel more impactful.



Scene 45 - Race Against Oblivion
87 EXT. GIANT SKELETAL ARENA - CONTINUOUS 87

The LEGACY HEROES battle the remaining swarm.
88 E/I. CASSANDRA’S LAIR EYE SOCKET - CONTINUOUS 88

Cassandra walks to the eye socket.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 105.
88 (CONTINUED) 88

CASSANDRA NOVA
(smiling deviously)
You want to hear something crazy?

Cassandra reaches into her trench-coat pocket and pulls out
DR. STRANGE’S RING.

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
An amateur magician rolled through
here awhile back. I killed him of
course. Wore his skin around for *
four days. But I found this little
trinket on his lovely fingers.

DEADPOOL
Strange.

Cassandra gestures out the eye socket, creating a glowing
circle in the air outside.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
(breathless)
Oh. Marvel sparkle circle.

WOLVERINE
What is that?

CASSANDRA NOVA
This is your way home. I do owe you
for saving my life.

She makes a sound, like a master calling their pet. The
ground trembles and the sky darkens as ALIOTH appears on the
horizon, SPEEDING TOWARDS Cassandra’s compound.

Cassandra steps down from the edge of the eye socket, turns
to Deadpool and Wolverine.

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
But let’s keep things interesting.
I’d say you have about four seconds
before you’re food.

A beat.

DEADPOOL
(to Wolverine)
Race ya.

Deadpool and Wolverine take off towards the eye socket as we
SPEED RAMP TO SLOW-MOTION.

INTERCUT with our legacy heroes fighting the horde down
below:

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 106.
88 (CONTINUED) (2) 88

Big slow motion fight, sad music, everyone working together,
who knows whether they’ll live or die.

Alioth closes fast, almost to the skull now. Deadpool and
Wolverine LEAP towards the socket, just as Alioth arrives.
This is the end. Down below, our forgotten heroes battle on,
relentless.

In profile we see our heroes LEAP OUT from the skull at he
same instant that Alioth meets them, the Marvel Sparkle
Circle between them in the air.

As Alioth hurtles through, the air finally clears, REVEALING
NOTHING BUT THE CIRCLE LEFT BEHIND. Whether Deadpool and
Wolverine lived or died, we don’t yet know.
Genres: ["Action","Adventure","Fantasy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a tense scene at Cassandra Nova's lair, she reveals a magical ring taken from Dr. Strange, offering Deadpool and Wolverine a fleeting chance to escape through a glowing circle. With only four seconds before the monstrous Alioth arrives, the duo races towards the portal amidst a chaotic battle below. As they leap for safety, Alioth collides with them, leaving their fate uncertain and the glowing circle as the only remnant of their escape.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Engaging character interactions
  • High stakes and urgency
Weaknesses
  • Dialogue could be more impactful
  • Emotional resonance could be enhanced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted with a perfect blend of action, humor, and mystery. It keeps the audience engaged with high stakes and a sense of urgency.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, involving legacy heroes, mystical elements, and a life-threatening situation, is engaging and well-developed.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the story towards the final confrontation with Cassandra Nova, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique setting and situation, with elements of magic and danger. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined and their interactions add depth to the scene, showcasing their individual strengths and vulnerabilities.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo some development, particularly in facing their fears and making tough decisions, but there could be more significant changes to deepen their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to survive and find a way home. This reflects their deeper need for self-preservation and their desire to return to safety.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to escape the imminent threat of being eaten by Alioth. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing and the need to outsmart the danger.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict is high, with the heroes facing a formidable enemy and a race against time, creating a sense of urgency and danger.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the threat of Alioth looming large and the characters facing a seemingly insurmountable challenge. The audience is left unsure of the outcome, adding to the tension.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high, with the heroes' lives on the line and the fate of their worlds hanging in the balance, creating a sense of urgency and tension.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by setting up the final confrontation with Cassandra Nova and resolving some character conflicts, paving the way for the climax.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces a new threat (Alioth) and leaves the fate of the characters uncertain. The unexpected twists and turns keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

There is a philosophical conflict between survival and sacrifice evident in this scene. The protagonist must decide whether to prioritize their own survival or potentially sacrifice themselves for the greater good.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene delivers emotional impact through character revelations and the high stakes involved, although there could be more moments of emotional resonance to further engage the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging and serves to build tension and reveal character motivations, although there could be more impactful lines to enhance the emotional impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines action, humor, and suspense in a fast-paced sequence. The stakes are high, and the characters' interactions keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of fast-paced action and slower moments of tension. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and builds suspense effectively.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with concise descriptions and dialogue cues. It adheres to the expected format for its genre.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with a buildup of tension, a climax of action, and a cliffhanger ending. It effectively conveys the urgency of the situation.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension with the introduction of Alioth, creating a sense of urgency as Deadpool and Wolverine race against time. However, the stakes could be heightened further by providing more context about what Alioth represents and why it poses such a significant threat to the characters. This would enhance the emotional weight of their decision to leap into the unknown.
  • Cassandra Nova's dialogue is intriguing, particularly her casual admission of killing Dr. Strange and wearing his skin. This dark humor aligns well with the tone of Deadpool's universe, but it may benefit from a bit more exploration of her motivations. Why does she feel the need to flaunt her power in this way? Adding a line or two that hints at her deeper motivations could enrich her character.
  • The transition to slow motion during the race to the eye socket is visually striking, but the emotional impact could be amplified by incorporating more internal thoughts or reflections from Deadpool and Wolverine. This would allow the audience to connect with their feelings about potentially leaving their friends behind or facing an uncertain fate.
  • The intercutting between the legacy heroes fighting and Deadpool and Wolverine's escape is a strong visual choice, but it could be more impactful if the stakes of the battle below were clearer. Briefly showcasing a key moment or character from the battle could help the audience feel more invested in the outcome of both scenarios.
  • The ending leaves the fate of Deadpool and Wolverine ambiguous, which can be effective, but it might be more satisfying if there were a clearer emotional beat or reaction from the characters just before they leap. This could be a moment of camaraderie or a shared look that encapsulates their journey together, making the leap feel more poignant.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a line or two of dialogue from Cassandra that hints at her motivations or feelings about the situation, which could deepen her character and make her more than just a villain.
  • Incorporate internal monologues or thoughts from Deadpool and Wolverine during the slow-motion sequence to enhance the emotional stakes of their leap and provide insight into their feelings about the situation.
  • Clarify the stakes of the battle below by including a brief moment that highlights a key character or event, making the audience more invested in the outcome of both the fight and the escape.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a moment of connection between Deadpool and Wolverine just before they leap, which could serve to heighten the emotional impact of their decision and the uncertainty of their fate.
  • Consider providing a clearer visual cue or emotional reaction from Deadpool and Wolverine as they leap, which could help solidify the moment and leave the audience with a stronger impression of their bond.



Scene 46 - Superhero Shenanigans and Dark Betrayal
89 EXT. DRIVEMAX - DAY 89

PETER hands THE CHIPMANS the keys to the KIA CARNIVAL he’s
just sold them.

PETER
I’m glad you gave us a second
chance. And don’t worry. Wade and I
are a team, so I’ll see he gets
half the commission.

CRASH! Wolverine and Deadpool crash down from the sky into
the roof of the CARNIVAL. A beat. Peter holds the keys, his
smile frozen.

DEADPOOL
Ow, that feels like a Kia. It’s a
fucking Kia Carnival, isn’t it?

ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD
HOLY SHIT! That’s Deadpool.

EIGHT-YEAR-OLD
That’s Wolverine. *

Deadpool pops up quickly.

DEADPOOL *
You’re damn straight it is. Fox *
killed him. Disney brought him
back! They’re going to make him do
this until he’s ninety.

Wolverine peels himself out of the wreckage.

Peter stares at Wolverine in awe.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 107.
89 (CONTINUED) 89

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
This is my friend Peter. Show him,
Sugarbear.

Peter flashes his Prince William piercing and salutes The
Wolverine.

WOLVERINE
Oh...

PETER
You like that?

DEADPOOL
It’s nice, right?

A nod from Wolvie who turns to Deadpool.

WOLVERINE
We doing this?

DEADPOOL
Let’s do it.

Deadpool and Wolverine run off. Peter calls after him.

PETER
I’ll clock you out!

DEADPOOL
(calling back)
Forever.

PETER
(smiles, to himself)
Forever.
89A E/I. CASSANDRA’S LAIR EYE SOCKET - DAY 89A

CASSANDRA runs her fingers creepily down Pyro’s face as he
slowly regains consciousness.

CASSANDRA NOVA
Wakey. Wakey.

One of Pyro’s eyes opens slightly.

PYRO
Oh, God...

CASSANDRA NOVA
You put all these bullets in my *
belly. And I’m going to find out *
why--

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 108.
89A (CONTINUED) 89A

Cassandra runs her fingers towards Pyro’s brain.

PYRO
Whoa whoa! I’ll just say it! *
You don’t have to stick your
fingers in me. Jesus, just ask *
sometimes!

CASSANDRA NOVA
Fine.

PYRO
Really?

CASSANDRA NOVA *
Hands in pockets. *

PYRO *
A guy named Paradox. He said he’d *
get me out of the Void. *

Cassandra isn’t buying it.

PYRO (CONT’D) *
All I know is he works for the TVA. *

Cassandra’s face contorts with rage.

CASSANDRA NOVA
The TVA? We had an agreement. *

PYRO
I don’t think this guy cares.

Cassandra seethes.

CASSANDRA NOVA
Oh. He will. *

She PLUNGES her fingers into Pyro’s head, killing him.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Fantasy"]

Summary Peter, excited about selling a KIA Carnival, is stunned when Deadpool and Wolverine crash into the scene, delighting nearby children. Deadpool's humor lightens the moment, while Wolverine acknowledges Peter's piercing. The tone shifts dramatically as the scene transitions to Cassandra's lair, where she confronts and kills Pyro for his betrayal, leaving a chilling sense of foreboding.
Strengths
  • Effective blend of humor and intensity
  • Strong character development
  • Compelling conflict and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some transitions between tones could be smoother

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively blends humor, action, and dark elements to create an engaging and dynamic sequence. The transition from the comedic crash landing to the ominous confrontation with Cassandra Nova adds depth and tension to the scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of combining humor, action, and dark elements in a single scene is executed effectively, creating a unique and engaging sequence that keeps the audience invested.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as the characters encounter Cassandra Nova and face a new challenge, setting up further conflict and developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on superhero dynamics by incorporating elements of humor, unexpected twists, and complex character motivations. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Deadpool, Wolverine, and Cassandra Nova are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their personalities, motivations, and conflicts effectively.

Character Changes: 8

The characters, especially Wolverine, undergo emotional and psychological changes in this scene, confronting their past actions and facing new challenges.

Internal Goal: 8

Peter's internal goal in this scene is to maintain professionalism and composure despite the unexpected arrival of Deadpool and Wolverine. This reflects his need to handle challenging situations with grace and maintain his reputation.

External Goal: 7

Peter's external goal is to successfully complete the sale of the Kia Carnival to the Chipmans. This reflects his immediate challenge of closing the deal amidst the chaos caused by the superhero characters.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters, particularly in the confrontation with Cassandra Nova, is intense and drives the scene forward, keeping the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicts arising from the unexpected arrival of Deadpool and Wolverine, as well as the intense interrogation between Cassandra Nova and Pyro.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters confront a powerful and dangerous antagonist, leading to a tense and suspenseful confrontation.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new conflict with Cassandra Nova and setting up further developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected arrival of Deadpool and Wolverine, as well as the sudden turn of events in Cassandra Nova's interrogation of Pyro.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of power, control, and betrayal. Cassandra Nova's actions and interrogation of Pyro highlight the clash of values and the consequences of breaking agreements.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to tension to darkness, creating a compelling and impactful experience for the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue enhances the character interactions and reveals their emotions and intentions, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, action, and suspense, keeping the audience entertained and invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension, humor, and action, creating a dynamic rhythm that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that enhances readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre by establishing the setting, introducing conflicts, and advancing the plot through character interactions and dialogue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively utilizes humor and action to transition from a tense moment to a lighter tone, which is characteristic of Deadpool's style. However, the abruptness of the transition from the previous scene's high stakes to this comedic moment may feel jarring for some viewers. It could benefit from a smoother segue that acknowledges the gravity of the previous events.
  • Deadpool's dialogue is consistent with his character, showcasing his irreverent humor and self-awareness. However, the line about Disney bringing Wolverine back could be perceived as overly meta, potentially alienating viewers who may not be familiar with the behind-the-scenes aspects of the franchise. Balancing humor with accessibility is crucial.
  • The introduction of Peter and his interaction with Wolverine adds a layer of humor and character development, but it may feel rushed. The audience might benefit from a brief moment to absorb the significance of Wolverine's presence before diving into the comedic exchanges.
  • The scene's pacing is generally good, but the dialogue-heavy moments could be interspersed with visual gags or physical comedy to maintain engagement. Deadpool's physicality is a key aspect of his character, and incorporating more visual humor could enhance the scene.
  • The transition to Cassandra's lair feels abrupt and could benefit from a clearer visual or narrative link to the previous scene. Establishing a stronger connection between the two locations would help maintain narrative cohesion and keep the audience grounded in the story.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or humor from Deadpool and Wolverine about their uncertain fate before transitioning to the comedic scene with Peter. This could help bridge the emotional gap between the two scenes.
  • Revise the meta-commentary about Disney to make it more subtle or relatable, ensuring it resonates with a broader audience without losing the humor that fans expect.
  • Allow for a moment of awe or recognition from Peter towards Wolverine before diving into the jokes. This could enhance the emotional weight of the scene and provide a more satisfying character interaction.
  • Incorporate more physical comedy or visual gags alongside the dialogue to keep the energy high and engage the audience visually, which is essential for a character like Deadpool.
  • Create a smoother transition to Cassandra's lair by using a visual cue, such as a quick montage or a shared line of dialogue that connects the two scenes, ensuring the audience remains engaged and oriented in the story.



Scene 47 - Chaos at the TVA Outpost
90 INT. TVA OUTPOST - CONTROL ROOM - DAY 90

MR. PARADOX and a small crew of TVA TECHNICIANS watch as
finishing touches are placed on the TIME RIPPER.

MR. PARADOX
Hey, Guys. How much longer before
the Time Ripper’s active?

TVA TECH
We’re running the final safety
checks.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 109.
90 (CONTINUED) 90

Mr. Paradox sees something on the SECURITY CAM MONITORS.

MR. PARADOX
‘Kay. Okay. Thanks for the hard *
work, Ralph. Take your time.

RICK (TVA TECH)
Really?

MR. PARADOX
No, you drooling boob. No, we have
company. Cancel the safety checks.
We need to be live, now.
91 EXT. TVA OUTPOST/SUBWAY STOP - DAY 91

Mr. Paradox runs out onto the street, his eyes scouring the
streets until he finds Deadpool and Wolverine running around
the corner. Mr. Paradox is FURIOUS.

MR. PARADOX
No! Stop! Piss off! You’re too
late!

The heroes step up on Paradox. Deadpool takes a look at
everything.

WOLVERINE
You’re fucking done.

DEADPOOL
Why was Thor crying?

MR. PARADOX
How dare you? No one comes back
from the Void.

WOLVERINE
Tell that to Cassandra Nova.

Paradox goes pale. The GROUND SHAKES. ENERGY CRACKLES in the
air at the end of the street, past the TVA OUTPOST. *

A MARVEL SPARKLE CIRCLE forms in the intersection. Nearby
VEHICLES screech to a stop and PEDESTRIANS scatter.

CASSANDRA NOVA has arrived. She marches out of the portal.

CASSANDRA NOVA
Paradox! Well, you are doughier *
than you looked in Pyro’s head. You
tried to kill me.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 110.
91 (CONTINUED) 91

MR. PARADOX
I literally have no idea-- *

Cassandra is now impossibly behind Mr. Paradox, plunging her
fingers into his head.

CASSANDRA NOVA
You come for the king you better
kill the king.

DEADPOOL
Ah ha ha. Welcome to the skull fuck
club, Paradox. You know she doesn’t
wash that hand.

As Cassandra probes Paradox’s mind, her face LIGHTS UP.

CASSANDRA NOVA
Oh. What’s this? A Time Ripper? You *
naughty boy.

DEADPOOL *
Oh no, we’re on it. We’re gonna *
head down and dismantle that thing
now. We got you, boo! You just keep
playing those keys.

CASSANDRA NOVA
I don’t want to destroy it. I want *
to use it. Now shoo. Mommy and
Daddy are having a conversation. *

Cassandra flicks her fingers, sending Deadpool and Wolverine
FLYING DOWN THE ENTIRE STREET. They slam into CARS along the
way, before CRASHING right through a STOREFRONT at the end of
the block.

BACK WITH CASSANDRA, who continues to probe Paradox’s brain.

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
You know the funny thing is I was *
happy in the Void. You sent your
trash to me. Alioth and I cleaned
it up. Everyone was happy. But then *
you had to go and piss on my side *
of the fence. And so now the fence *
must come down. I’m going to use *
your little time ripper, and I’m *
going to destroy this Universe, and *
the next, and the next, and the *
next. Until all that’s left is the *
Void. Come on. *




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 111.
91 (CONTINUED) (2) 91

Cassandra drags Paradox by the skull towards the subway *
steps. *

CASSANDRA NOVA (CONT’D)
Now you’re going to show me how to
use this fancy gadget of yours, and *
don’t worry, I’ve called some
friends to make sure we’re not
disturbed. *
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Fantasy"]

Summary In the TVA Outpost's control room, Mr. Paradox is in a frenzy over the Time Ripper's activation when he is confronted by Deadpool and Wolverine, who arrive late. Cassandra Nova emerges from a portal, probing Paradox's mind for information about the device and revealing her plan to use it to destroy multiple universes. As tensions rise, she overpowers Deadpool and Wolverine, leaving Paradox vulnerable as she drags him towards the subway steps, intent on forcing him to assist her.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Sharp and witty dialogue
  • High-stakes conflict
  • Revealing character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Potential for information overload
  • Some characters may be overshadowed by the main conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is well-crafted with a strong mix of action, humor, and tension. The introduction of Cassandra Nova raises the stakes significantly and sets up a compelling conflict for the heroes to face.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Cassandra Nova using the Time Ripper to destroy universes adds a high-stakes element to the story, driving the plot forward and raising the tension. The scene effectively introduces this concept and sets up the heroes' next challenge.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly in this scene as Cassandra Nova's plan is revealed, setting up the heroes for a climactic confrontation. The scene moves the story forward by introducing a major obstacle for the characters to overcome.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters and situations, such as the Time Ripper and Cassandra Nova's plan to destroy the Universe. The dialogue feels authentic and adds depth to the characters.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed in this scene, with each hero and Cassandra Nova displaying distinct personalities and motivations. The conflict between the heroes and the villain is driven by their unique traits and goals.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo significant emotional and psychological changes in this scene, as they are confronted with the reality of Cassandra Nova's plan and the threat it poses to their world. Their reactions and decisions reflect their growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

Mr. Paradox's internal goal is to protect the Time Ripper and prevent Cassandra Nova from using it to destroy the Universe.

External Goal: 9

Mr. Paradox's external goal is to stop Deadpool and Wolverine from interfering with his plans and to deal with the threat posed by Cassandra Nova.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and multi-layered, with the heroes facing off against Cassandra Nova in a high-stakes battle of wills and power. The escalating tension and threats raise the conflict to a critical level.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Cassandra Nova posing a significant threat to Mr. Paradox and his goals.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are incredibly high in this scene, as Cassandra Nova reveals her plan to use the Time Ripper to destroy multiple universes. The heroes are faced with a monumental challenge that threatens everything they hold dear.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major obstacle for the heroes to overcome and setting up the climactic confrontation with Cassandra Nova. The revelation of her plan adds urgency and tension to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected arrival of Cassandra Nova and her plan to use the Time Ripper.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict is between Mr. Paradox's desire to protect the Universe and Cassandra Nova's desire to destroy it. This challenges Mr. Paradox's beliefs about order and chaos.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from tension and fear to defiance and determination. The characters' reactions to Cassandra Nova's plan and the impending danger add depth and emotional resonance to the scene.

Dialogue: 9.2

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, witty, and impactful, effectively conveying the tension and humor of the situation. The interactions between the characters reveal their relationships and motivations, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, fast-paced action, and witty dialogue that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast and intense, building tension and keeping the audience engaged throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting follows the standard screenplay format for its genre, making it easy to visualize the action and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a sci-fi action sequence, with clear action beats and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension by introducing Cassandra Nova as a formidable antagonist, but the pacing feels rushed. The transition from Mr. Paradox's dialogue to the arrival of Cassandra could benefit from a more gradual buildup to enhance suspense.
  • Deadpool's humor is present, but it sometimes undermines the gravity of the situation. While his quips are characteristic, they can detract from the emotional stakes of the scene, especially when dealing with life-and-death scenarios. Balancing humor with the seriousness of Cassandra's threat could create a more impactful moment.
  • Cassandra's dialogue is strong and establishes her motivations clearly, but it could be enhanced by adding more depth to her character. Providing a brief backstory or a hint of her past with Mr. Paradox could make her motivations more relatable and her threat more palpable.
  • The physicality of the scene, particularly the action of Deadpool and Wolverine being thrown down the street, is visually engaging. However, the description could be more vivid to help the reader visualize the chaos and destruction more clearly. Adding sensory details, such as sounds and sights, would enhance the immersion.
  • The dialogue between characters is snappy and fits their personalities, but some lines feel a bit forced. For instance, Deadpool's line about the 'skull fuck club' may come off as gratuitous and could be replaced with something that maintains his humor while being more contextually relevant.
Suggestions
  • Consider slowing down the pacing when introducing Cassandra Nova. Allow for a moment of tension where the audience can feel the weight of her arrival before she acts.
  • Revisit Deadpool's humor in this scene. Aim for a balance where his quips do not overshadow the seriousness of the threat posed by Cassandra. Perhaps have him express concern or fear in addition to his usual humor.
  • Add a line or two of backstory for Cassandra Nova to deepen her character. This could be a brief mention of her past grievances with Mr. Paradox or her motivations for wanting to destroy the universe.
  • Enhance the action sequences with more sensory details. Describe the sounds of crashing cars, the shattering glass, and the chaos of the street to create a more vivid picture for the reader.
  • Review Deadpool's dialogue for moments that may feel forced or out of place. Aim for humor that feels organic to the situation and character, ensuring it complements rather than detracts from the scene's tension.



Scene 48 - Manipulation of Time
101A INT. TVA - B-15’S OFFICE - DAY 101A

B-15 sits at her large desk. A woman in control of the vast
canvas of all time. Suddenly, an agitated TVA OFFICE AGENT
enters.

TVA OFFICE AGENT *
Sorry to bother, Madam. But there’s *
something you need to see.

The Staffer goes around and pushes some buttons, showing B-15
A COMPLEX GRAPHIC ON HER SCREEN.

TVA OFFICE AGENT (CONT’D)
We’re getting indications of an
unsanctioned Time Ripper activating
on Earth one-triple-zero-five.

B-15 leans in to study the graphics, her expression growing
instantly grim.

B-15
Whose district is that?

TVA OFFICE AGENT
(darkly)
Paradox.
102 INT. TVA OUTPOST - CONTROL ROOM - DAY 102

SLAM CUT TO: Mr. Paradox in CLOSE-UP, Cassandra’s pointy
fingers extending out through his skull.

WIDER NOW, we see Mr. Paradox being awkwardly forced to hit
various TIME RIPPER CONTROLS.

Cassandra smiles and PULLS her fingers from Mr. Paradox’s
head. He screams, huddling into a ball on the ground.

CASSANDRA NOVA
Thank you so much for your help,
darling....God, good to get out of
that head. What a mess.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 112.
102 (CONTINUED) 102

She vanishes towards the TIME RIPPER’s inner chamber.
103 EXT. TVA OUTPOST/SUBWAY STOP - DAY 103

The TVA OUTPOST shudders. ENERGY CRACKLES from its doors. The
TIME RIPPER is firing up.
104 INT. TIME RIPPER CHAMBER - DAY 104

The TIME RIPPER whirs to life, ENERGY CRACKLES, arcing to the
walls around it. Cassandra approaches it.

Unaffected by the energy sloughing off the device, Cassandra
removes the machine’s PROTECTIVE SHIELDS with a gesture,
revealing two WHITE HOT LEADS.

Cassandra grabs the leads. Untold power courses through her
body. SHE ABSORBS IT. Becomes it. Reality flexes around her.
92 EXT. DOWN STREET FROM TVA OUTPOST - DAY 92

The MARVEL SPARKLE CIRCLE EXPANDS and silhouettes are dimly
visible approaching.

The heroes emerge from the destroyed building, eyeing the
ominous forms taking shape through the sparkle circle down
the block.

DEADPOOL
(to Wolverine)
Stop.
93 EXT. STREETS - DAY 93

Quick cuts of CIVILIANS fleeing their vehicles...
94 EXT. DOWN STREET FROM TVA OUTPOST - DAY 94

DEADPOOL
(off the civilians
fleeing)
Go, go, go.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Oh, my God! OH MY GOD.

And then, in the delicate silence...a dog’s YAPPING.

DOGPOOL LEAPS out of the REALITY TEAR and happily runs to
Deadpool. Toto reuniting with Dorothy.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
It’s her! Come on, girl! Come on,
girl!

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 113.
94 (CONTINUED) 94

Deadpool grabs Dogpool, cuddling her and letting the mutt
lick him all over.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
My girl! We don’t have to be apart,
ever ever again! Never ever--

NICEPOOL (O.S.)
Sorry!

DEADPOOL
FUCK.

NICEPOOL comes jogging up.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
What’s top-knot doing here?

NICEPOOL
Sorry about that.

DEADPOOL
Tremble not, sweet Mary Puppins.
I’ll handle him.

NICEPOOL
Come here, girl. Papa’s here.

DEADPOOL
Do not insult this animal’s
autonomy. She can decide who her
papa is.
(holding Dogpool up)
What’s it gonna be, girl, huh? The
original recipe or Van Milder here.

NICEPOOL
Ah, that’s funny. I can gently tap
the fourth wall too.
(to camera)
The Proposal!

DEADPOOL
What the fuck was that? Bitch, you
think that’s what I do?

WOLVERINE
Both of you shut up.

Wolverine sniffs the air.

DEADPOOL
You smell something?


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 114.
94 (CONTINUED) (2) 94

WOLVERINE
Yeah, you. A lot of you.
Genres: ["Action","Adventure","Fantasy","Sci-Fi","Comedy"]

Summary In B-15's office at the TVA, an agent urgently informs her about an unsanctioned Time Ripper activation on Earth, which is under Mr. Paradox's jurisdiction. Meanwhile, Mr. Paradox is being controlled by the antagonist Cassandra Nova, who forces him to operate the Time Ripper. After manipulating his mind, she approaches the device, removes its protective shields, and absorbs its immense power, altering reality around her. The scene is tense and foreboding, highlighting the escalating conflict over the timeline.
Strengths
  • Engaging action sequences
  • Witty dialogue
  • Introduction of new characters
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some elements may be overwhelming for viewers unfamiliar with the characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, filled with action, humor, and tension. It effectively introduces key characters and sets up a major conflict with high stakes.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of reality manipulation, the activation of the Time Ripper, and the presence of unique characters like Dogpool and Nicepool contribute to the scene's complexity and intrigue.

Plot: 8.5

The plot advances significantly with the activation of the Time Ripper and the confrontation with Cassandra Nova, setting the stage for a major conflict and resolution.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique elements like the Time Ripper, reality manipulation, and the dynamic between the characters. The dialogue feels authentic and fresh, adding to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Deadpool, Wolverine, and Cassandra Nova, are well-developed and showcase their distinct personalities and motivations. The introduction of Dogpool and Nicepool adds a comedic element to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

There are subtle hints of character growth, especially for Wolverine as he confronts Cassandra Nova and reflects on his past actions.

Internal Goal: 8

B-15's internal goal is to maintain control and order within the TVA, reflecting her need for stability and security.

External Goal: 9

B-15's external goal is to stop the unsanctioned Time Ripper activation on Earth one-triple-zero-five, reflecting the immediate challenge she faces in maintaining the timeline.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with the activation of the Time Ripper, the confrontation with Cassandra Nova, and the presence of multiple threats raising the stakes for the characters.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the threat of the Time Ripper activation and the conflict between characters adding layers of tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high with the activation of the Time Ripper, the threat of Cassandra Nova, and the uncertainty of the characters' fate.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key plot elements, setting up a major conflict, and advancing the characters' journey.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable with unexpected twists like the appearance of Dogpool and the banter between characters, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict revolves around the consequences of time manipulation and the balance between order and chaos. B-15's belief in maintaining the timeline clashes with the actions of the Time Ripper.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

While there are moments of tension and humor, the emotional impact is not the primary focus of the scene.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and engaging, capturing the essence of each character's personality. The banter between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Nicepool adds depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the high stakes, fast-paced action, and witty dialogue that keeps the audience invested in the unfolding events.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action sequences, dialogue, and character interactions that maintain the tension and momentum.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for the genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a fast-paced and engaging structure that fits the genre of action and sci-fi. The transitions between locations and characters are smooth.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension by showcasing the urgency of the situation with the Time Ripper activation. However, the transition from B-15's office to the control room feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative.
  • Cassandra Nova's manipulation of Mr. Paradox is a strong visual moment, but the dialogue could be more impactful. Her lines could better reflect her character's menace and intelligence, making her seem more formidable.
  • The use of humor in Deadpool's interactions is consistent with his character, but it risks undermining the tension of the scene. Balancing humor with the gravity of the situation could create a more compelling emotional impact.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid, particularly the imagery of Cassandra absorbing power from the Time Ripper. However, the stakes could be clearer. What exactly does this mean for the characters and the universe? More explicit stakes would heighten the urgency.
  • The dialogue between Deadpool and Nicepool is humorous but may distract from the main conflict. While comic relief is essential in a Deadpool story, it should not detract from the scene's primary tension. Consider tightening this exchange to maintain focus.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for B-15 before the agent enters, which could heighten the tension and give her character more depth.
  • Enhance Cassandra's dialogue to reflect her cunning nature. For example, she could make a more chilling remark about the consequences of her actions, reinforcing her role as a villain.
  • Try to limit the humor in this scene to maintain the tension. Perhaps Deadpool could have a moment of seriousness that contrasts with his usual antics, emphasizing the stakes at hand.
  • Clarify the stakes of the Time Ripper activation. A line or two explaining the potential consequences for the multiverse could raise the stakes and make the audience more invested.
  • Consider streamlining the dialogue between Deadpool and Nicepool. Focus on one or two key humorous lines that encapsulate their dynamic without diverting attention from the main conflict.



Scene 49 - Deadpool Variants Assemble
95 EXT. DOWN STREET FROM TVA OUTPOST - DAY 95

From within the sparkle circle down the block, now in OVAL
shape, DOZENS OF DEADPOOL VARIANTS emerge.

It’s a freak show. Variant after Variant of Deadpool.
PUNKPOOL, SAMURAI DEADPOOL, COWBOYPOOL, ZENPOOL, WELSHPOOL.

They’re led by LADY DEADPOOL and KIDPOOL, holding HEADPOOL.

NICEPOOL
I told you there were a lot of
Deadpools over there.

DEADPOOL
Holy shit.

WOLVERINE
I take it they’re not friendly?

NICEPOOL *
No no no. Cassandra brought them *
here. Their only job is to make *
sure that nobody gets anywhere near *
her. *

Deadpool kisses Dogpool, passes her to Wolverine.

DEADPOOL *
Hold please. *

WOLVERINE
Oh, god.

DEADPOOL
Alright, look! Guys! Deadpool Prime
here. Our fight isn’t with you!

KIDPOOL
Hey! When we want your opinion I’ll
take my dick out of your mouth! *

NICEPOOL
That’s Kidpool. He’s the dirtiest.

DEADPOOL
Can we just be done?

LADY DEADPOOL
Ah ha ha, we are JUST getting
started.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 115.
95 (CONTINUED) 95

DEADPOOL
No no no with the whole multiverse
thing. It’s not great. It’s just
been miss after miss after miss.
Look, the Wizard of Oz did the
multiverse first and they did it
best. The gays knew it...but we
didn’t listen. Let’s just take the
L and move on.

NICEPOOL
I think it’s been steadily great
since Endgame.

LADY DEADPOOL
What are you talking about? The
multiverse is over.

COWBOYPOOL
Cassandi gonna destroy the fuck out
of every timeline. And you all *
can’t do shit about it. *

DEADPOOL
Do you not get it? If we don’t go *
down to the subway and stop her we
all die.

COWBOYPOOL *
The boss lady don’t want no *
disturbances. *

HEADPOOL
You wanna get down to the subway, *
you gotta go through us.
(to Lady Deadpool)
Uzi time, baby.

LADY DEADPOOL
Uzi time, baby.

DEADPOOL
Look alive.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Fantasy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In a chaotic scene outside the TVA Outpost, a multitude of Deadpool variants, led by Lady Deadpool and Kidpool, confront Deadpool and Wolverine, who are trying to reach Cassandra. Tensions rise as Deadpool attempts to negotiate, but Kidpool's crude humor adds to the absurdity. Cowboypool warns of Cassandra's destructive plans for the multiverse, leading to a standoff. The scene culminates in a declaration of 'Uzi time' from Headpool and Lady Deadpool, signaling an impending battle.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Dynamic character interactions
  • High-stakes conflict
  • Humorous elements
Weaknesses
  • Potential for overcrowding with multiple Deadpool variants

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a mix of action, comedy, and fantasy elements that keep the audience engaged. The introduction of multiple Deadpool variants adds a fun and dynamic twist to the confrontation, while the dialogue is sharp and entertaining. The high stakes and intense conflict raise the tension, leading to a compelling setup for the final showdown.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of facing off against a multitude of Deadpool variants in a high-stakes showdown is innovative and engaging. The scene explores themes of identity, teamwork, and the consequences of multiverse manipulation, adding depth to the narrative. The concept drives the plot forward and sets up the climax of the story.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the heroes' attempt to stop Cassandra Nova and prevent the destruction of the multiverse. The introduction of the Deadpool variants adds complexity and challenges to the conflict, driving the narrative forward. The plot sets up the final confrontation and raises the stakes for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene is highly original in its concept of multiple Deadpool variants and their interactions. The dialogue is fresh and witty, capturing the essence of the character while also exploring new territory in terms of plot and conflict.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, particularly Deadpool and the various Deadpool variants, are well-developed and showcase a range of personalities and quirks. Each character brings a unique dynamic to the confrontation, adding depth and humor to the scene. The interactions between the characters drive the conflict and reveal their motivations.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in the scene, particularly in their interactions and motivations. Deadpool must confront his own flaws and insecurities, while the various Deadpool variants showcase different aspects of his personality. The characters' growth and development set the stage for future arcs and resolutions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to convince the other Deadpools to help stop Cassandra and prevent a catastrophic event. This reflects Deadpool's desire to protect others and redeem himself for past mistakes.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to rally the other Deadpools to join him in stopping Cassandra from destroying the timelines. This goal reflects the immediate challenge and threat they are facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and high-stakes, as the heroes must confront a multitude of Deadpool variants to reach Cassandra Nova and prevent the destruction of the multiverse. The tension is palpable, and the confrontations between the characters raise the stakes and drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the other Deadpools presenting a formidable challenge to the protagonist's goals. Their conflicting beliefs and loyalties create tension and uncertainty, adding depth to the conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, as the heroes must confront overwhelming odds and prevent the destruction of the multiverse by Cassandra Nova. The threat of annihilation and the intense conflict raise the tension and drive the characters to make difficult choices. The high stakes add urgency and importance to the confrontation.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, as the heroes face off against the Deadpool variants and confront Cassandra Nova. The escalating conflict and high stakes drive the narrative towards the final showdown, setting up the resolution of key plot points and character arcs. The scene paves the way for the climax of the story.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the dialogue, the shifting allegiances of the characters, and the looming threat of Cassandra's plan. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of redemption and the consequences of inaction. Deadpool's belief in taking responsibility for his actions clashes with the other Deadpools' loyalty to Cassandra and their reluctance to intervene.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, as the characters face difficult choices and confront their own vulnerabilities. The humor and sarcasm add levity to the intense conflict, balancing the emotional beats and keeping the audience engaged. The scene sets up emotional payoffs for the characters in future developments.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, witty, and filled with humor and sarcasm. The banter between the characters adds depth to their relationships and drives the conflict forward. The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' personalities and motivations, enhancing the overall tone and atmosphere of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and high stakes. The conflict between the characters and the sense of urgency keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by maintaining a balance between action, dialogue, and tension. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear character introductions, conflict escalation, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness by maintaining tension and momentum.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic humor characteristic of Deadpool, with a variety of Deadpool variants adding to the comedic tension. However, the introduction of multiple characters can be overwhelming. Each variant should have a distinct personality or quirk that sets them apart, allowing the audience to engage with them more easily.
  • The dialogue flows well and maintains the playful tone, but some jokes feel a bit forced or rely too heavily on crude humor, particularly Kidpool's line. While Deadpool's humor often skews edgy, balancing this with clever wordplay or situational comedy could enhance the scene's wit.
  • The stakes are established with the threat of Cassandra Nova and her plan to destroy timelines, but the urgency could be heightened. Adding a ticking clock element or a visual cue (like the ominous approach of Alioth) could enhance the tension and make the audience feel the pressure the characters are under.
  • The interaction between Deadpool and the variants is entertaining, but it lacks a clear objective for Deadpool and Wolverine. While they want to stop Cassandra, clarifying their immediate goal in this scene (e.g., how to bypass the variants) could help focus the action and dialogue.
  • The scene's structure feels somewhat disjointed due to the rapid introduction of characters and the ensuing chaos. A more gradual reveal of the variants, possibly through a few lines of dialogue or action before the full group emerges, could help maintain clarity while still delivering the humor.
Suggestions
  • Consider giving each Deadpool variant a unique catchphrase or characteristic that reflects their specific persona, allowing the audience to differentiate them more easily.
  • Experiment with more clever humor that relies on wordplay or situational irony rather than crude jokes, which can sometimes detract from the overall comedic impact.
  • Incorporate a visual or auditory cue that signifies the urgency of the situation, such as the sound of Alioth approaching or a countdown timer, to heighten the stakes.
  • Clarify the characters' immediate objectives in this scene, perhaps through a quick exchange that outlines their plan to bypass the variants and confront Cassandra.
  • Reorganize the scene's structure to introduce the variants gradually, allowing for a buildup of chaos that culminates in the full reveal, enhancing both humor and clarity.



Scene 50 - A Shield of Absurdity
96 EXT. DOWN STREET FROM TVA OUTPOST - DAY 96

LADY DEADPOOL OPENS UP with her UZIs. WOLVERINE DIVES behind
a CAR. DEADPOOL grabs Nicepool, using him as a human shield.

Nicepool is RIDDLED with bullets.

Deadpool cradles the fallen Nicepool. He’s PALE WHITE.
Coughing up blood.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 116.
96 (CONTINUED) 96

NICEPOOL
I think I’m hit.

DEADPOOL
Oh shit.

WOLVERINE
You did that on purpose.

DEADPOOL
I did no such thing!
(to Nicepool)
Listen to me, gorgeous. How long
does it take for you to regenerate?

NICEPOOL
Regenerate?

Awkward, awkward silence. Deadpool scratches his chin.

WOLVERINE
You really are God’s perfect idiot,
aren’t you?

NICEPOOL *
I’m okay. *

DEADPOOL
How dare you? I should be ashamed *
of yourself. How was I supposed to *
know he doesn’t regenerate?! I’m
not a medicine woman!

Deadpool wrenches Nicepool to his feet, sees a DONUT STAND.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Look, a donut cart. They’re
practically hospitals! They sell
portable triage units.

WOLVERINE
They don’t.

DEADPOOL
I’m gonna get you to safety.

WOLVERINE
(to Dogpool)
He’s not.

DEADPOOL
Deep breath.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 117.
96 (CONTINUED) (2) 96

Deadpool crosses the line of fire once more. But it’s clear
he’s using Nicepool as a human shield, AGAIN.

NICEPOOL
Hey. Why are we stopping?

DEADPOOL
(turns Nicepool facing
out)
I’m just catching my breath. What,
are your legs on vacation? You’re
dead weight.

NICEPOOL
That’s because I’m paralyzed.

DEADPOOL
We all have problems. Listen to me.
You’re going to live. Look at me,
Nicepool. You’re going to live. Say *
it!

NICEPOOL
I’m going to live.

DEADPOOL
Say it with me. You’re going to
live!

NICEPOOL
I’m going to live!

DEADPOOL
SAY IT LOUDER!

NICEPOOL
I’m going to--

BLAM! This time Nicepool’s head is blown clean off.

As Deadpool ducks behind the Donut stand, he desperately
performs chest compressions on Nicepool, which just produce
intermittent BLOOD-GUSHES out of the neck stump. *

Wolverine crosses to the Donut cart.

He holds Dogpool out like a shield.

HEADPOOL
Hold your fire!

The Deadpool Corps hold their fire.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 118.
96 (CONTINUED) (3) 96

HEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Sweet little puppy.

Wolverine makes his way to Deadpool.

Deadpool’s face is covered with BRAIN PARTICULATE and
NICEPOOL’S EAR, with a small cuff on it. Deadpool notices
Wolvie staring at him with disgust.

DEADPOOL
GODDAMNIT! I don’t think he’s going
to make it.
(then)
Do I have anything on my face?

WOLVERINE
You have a whole face on your face.

DEADPOOL
God, I can taste his final thought.
He was so afraid. But he died a
hero.

WOLVERINE
He died from murder, you dumb fuck!

DEADPOOL
And all I have to remember him by
are these two gold-plated .50
caliber desert eagle pistoleros.
This is for him, are you ready?

WOLVERINE
I get to kill a hundred yous. Fuck
yeah I’m ready.
(to Dogpool)
You don’t want to see this, bub.

DEADPOOL
That’s a good girl.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Superhero"]

Summary In a chaotic gunfight outside a TVA outpost, Lady Deadpool opens fire, forcing Wolverine to take cover. Deadpool, in a misguided attempt to protect himself, uses Nicepool as a human shield, leading to Nicepool's tragic and fatal injuries. Despite Deadpool's frantic encouragement, Nicepool's head is blown off, prompting Deadpool to perform futile chest compressions. Wolverine expresses disgust at the absurdity of the situation, while Deadpool laments the loss of Nicepool, preparing for the next confrontation amidst the darkly comedic chaos.
Strengths
  • Witty dialogue
  • Intense action sequences
  • Emotional depth in character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Tragic outcome for Nicepool
  • Graphic violence

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances humor, action, and emotional moments, creating a memorable and impactful sequence. The dark humor adds depth to the characters, while the intense action keeps the audience engaged.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Deadpool using Nicepool as a shield in the midst of battle is innovative and adds a layer of complexity to the character dynamics. The scene explores themes of sacrifice and heroism in a unique way.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Deadpool's attempt to save Nicepool, leading to a tragic yet comedic outcome. The plot progression is engaging and keeps the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on superhero tropes, combining violence with humor and emotional depth. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Deadpool and Wolverine, are well-developed in this scene. Deadpool's dark humor and Wolverine's gruff demeanor add depth to their interactions, creating a compelling dynamic.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, Deadpool's actions and interactions with Nicepool showcase his complex personality and moral dilemmas. The scene adds depth to his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal in this scene is to save Nicepool and keep him alive, reflecting his desire to be a hero and his fear of failure or loss.

External Goal: 7

Deadpool's external goal is to survive the firefight and protect himself and his companions from harm.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high, with Deadpool and Wolverine facing off against enemies while also dealing with internal struggles. The tension is palpable, adding to the intensity of the action.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing difficult choices and obstacles. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will resolve.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as Deadpool and Wolverine face off against enemies while also dealing with personal dilemmas. The outcome of the battle could have significant consequences for the characters and the story.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting Deadpool's internal struggles and the challenges he faces in battle. It sets the stage for future conflicts and character development, advancing the overall narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns, such as Nicepool's sudden death and the characters' reactions to it.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the value of life and the consequences of violence. Deadpool's attempts to save Nicepool clash with the brutal reality of their situation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a significant emotional impact, balancing dark humor with moments of tragedy and sacrifice. The audience is likely to feel a range of emotions, from laughter to sadness, as the scene unfolds.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is witty, sarcastic, and emotionally impactful. It effectively conveys the characters' personalities and motivations, adding depth to the overall narrative.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of action, humor, and emotional moments. The characters' interactions and the high stakes of the situation keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast-paced and dynamic, with a good balance of action and dialogue. The rhythm of the scene adds tension and excitement.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear action lines and dialogue. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the action.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and darkly comedic tone characteristic of Deadpool, particularly through Deadpool's interactions with Nicepool. However, the humor sometimes overshadows the emotional weight of the moment, especially with Nicepool's impending death. Balancing the comedic elements with the gravity of the situation could enhance the impact of the scene.
  • Deadpool's use of Nicepool as a human shield is consistent with his character's morally ambiguous nature, but it may come off as excessively callous. This could alienate some viewers who might find it hard to empathize with Deadpool in this moment. A deeper exploration of Deadpool's internal conflict about using Nicepool could add layers to his character.
  • The dialogue is witty and captures the essence of the characters, but some lines feel overly expository, particularly when Deadpool insists that Nicepool will live. This repetition could be streamlined to maintain pacing and avoid redundancy. The comedic rhythm could benefit from tighter dialogue that flows more naturally.
  • The physical comedy, especially with Deadpool's absurd attempts at resuscitation, is a highlight. However, the visual descriptions could be more vivid to enhance the absurdity of the situation. For instance, detailing the blood gushes and Deadpool's reactions could amplify the grotesque humor.
  • Wolverine's reactions provide a good counterbalance to Deadpool's antics, but his dialogue could be more varied. Instead of primarily expressing disgust, he could also show a hint of exasperation or dark humor, which would align with his character's complexity and add depth to their dynamic.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of genuine concern from Deadpool for Nicepool before the humor takes over. This could create a more poignant contrast between his comedic persona and the reality of the situation.
  • Streamline the dialogue to avoid redundancy. For example, instead of repeating 'You're going to live,' find a way to convey the same sentiment with fewer lines, maintaining the comedic tone while enhancing pacing.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the chaos and gore to better capture the absurdity of the scene. This could involve more detailed imagery of the blood and Deadpool's reactions to it.
  • Explore Wolverine's character further by allowing him to express a mix of frustration and dark humor in response to Deadpool's antics. This could deepen their relationship and provide a richer comedic dynamic.
  • Consider a brief flashback or a quick line that hints at Nicepool's backstory or his relationship with Deadpool, which could make his death more impactful and resonate with the audience.



Scene 51 - Deadpool vs. Deadpool: A Hilarious Showdown
97 EXT. DOWN STREET FROM TVA OUTPOST - DAY 97

Deadpool and Wolverine step out from cover and cross into the
middle of the street.

Wolverine reaches back behind his collar and PULLS ON HIS
CLASSIC COWL-- GLORIOUS SIGNATURE WINGS AND ALL.

DEADPOOL
Holy shit! You save the good stuff
for special occasions?



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 119.
97 (CONTINUED) 97

WOLVERINE
Killing, mostly.

DEADPOOL
What’s the wind resistance on those
blowjob handles?

Wolverine grits his teeth.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
I’m sorry. I’m just a catty bitch
when I’m jealous. Alright, let’s do
this. MAXIMUM EFFORT.

SNIKT! It is game the fuck ON, y’all!
98 EXT. DOWN STREET FROM TVA OUTPOST - DAY 98

“Like a Prayer” spins up as Deadpool and Wolverine hack their
way through an ARMY OF DEADPOOLS in a spectacular ONER.

We RAMP in and out of SLO-MO. BLOOD sprays. TEETH fly.
SUPLEXES. JUDO TOSSES. AGGRESSIVE LEAPS from variant to
variant, like flesh stepping-stones.

It’s fucking glorious.

Deadpool and Wolverine continue hacking their way through the
DEADPOOL ARMY. An orgy of superhero-ness. *

99 I/E. WADE’S APARTMENT WINDOW - DAY 99
*

The camera tilts up to find BLIND AL at her window. *

BLIND AL *
Motherfucker. I wish I were deaf. *

100 EXT. DOWN STREET FROM TVA OUTPOST - DAY 100

A symphony of VIOLENCE as DEADPOOL and WOLVERINE take on
combatants from ALL SIDES, Deadpool dodging assailants that
Wolverine finishes off and vice/versa. The heroes mow through
the Deadpool Corps and approach the TVA outpost, eventually
our duo finishes off the last of the Deadpool Corps.

Finally, KIDPOOL WHIPS HEADPOOL at Deadpool. Headpool screams
a VIKING WAR CRY...and is skewered by a KATANA.

BLIND AL *
Fucking nerds. *

Blind Al closes her window. *



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 120.
100 (CONTINUED) 100

Deadpool and Wolverine stand in the middle of the street, in
the center of the fallen Deadpools, their piled bodies
radiating away from our heroes in rings. *

ANGLE ON: BABYPOOL, seated blissfully on the sidewalk. He *
giggles. *

DEADPOOL *
Whatcha laughing at, you little *
fucker? *
Genres: ["Action","Comedy"]

Summary In a chaotic street battle outside the TVA outpost, Deadpool and Wolverine team up to fight an army of Deadpool variants. Wolverine dons his classic cowl while Deadpool provides comedic commentary, showcasing their combat skills in a stylized action sequence set to 'Like a Prayer.' Amidst the intense fighting, Kidpool humorously throws Headpool, leading to a comical skewering. The scene blends humor and action, concluding with Deadpool and Wolverine standing victorious among the fallen foes, while Babypool giggles innocently nearby.
Strengths
  • Dynamic action sequences
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Strong character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited emotional depth
  • Some repetitive action beats

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-executed with a perfect blend of action, humor, and character dynamics, making it highly entertaining and engaging.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Deadpool and Wolverine teaming up to fight against multiple versions of Deadpool is creative and engaging, adding depth to the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene revolves around the intense battle and the dynamics between the characters, driving the action forward.

Originality: 9

The scene is original in its use of humor in a violent action sequence, the dynamic between the characters, and the creative ways in which they defeat their enemies.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are well-developed, with their unique personalities and abilities shining through in the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Both Deadpool and Wolverine show growth and development in their teamwork and understanding of each other during the battle.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal is to prove himself and show off his skills in combat. This reflects his need for validation and recognition as a hero.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to defeat the Deadpool Corps and reach the TVA outpost. This reflects the immediate challenge they are facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the heroes and the army of Deadpools creates tension and excitement, driving the action forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the heroes facing a challenging army of enemies.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes of the battle against the army of Deadpools and the looming threat of Cassandra Nova raise the tension and excitement in the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing the heroes' abilities, relationships, and the escalating conflict with Cassandra Nova.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the action and dialogue.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between Deadpool's humorous and irreverent attitude towards violence and Wolverine's more serious and brutal approach. This challenges Deadpool's beliefs about heroism and combat.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

While the scene is primarily focused on action and humor, there are moments of emotional impact, especially in the interactions between Deadpool and Wolverine.

Dialogue: 8.5

The witty and sarcastic dialogue between Deadpool and Wolverine adds humor and depth to the scene, enhancing the character interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its fast-paced action, witty dialogue, and dynamic between the characters.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by keeping the action moving and building tension.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear action lines and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic and humorous essence of the Deadpool franchise, particularly through the use of exaggerated action and witty banter. The dialogue between Deadpool and Wolverine is sharp and showcases their contrasting personalities, which adds depth to their dynamic.
  • The use of 'Like a Prayer' as the background music is a clever choice that juxtaposes the violence of the scene with a pop culture reference, enhancing the comedic tone. However, the transition into the action sequence could be smoother; the shift from dialogue to action feels a bit abrupt.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid and engaging, particularly the 'spectacular ONER' that emphasizes the fluidity of the action. However, the phrase 'an orgy of superhero-ness' may come off as overly vague or clichéd. More specific imagery could enhance the reader's visualization of the scene.
  • The introduction of Blind Al observing the chaos from the window adds a layer of humor and perspective, but her lines could be more impactful. The phrase 'Motherfucker. I wish I were deaf.' feels a bit flat and could benefit from a stronger punchline or a more unique expression of her frustration.
  • The final moments with Deadpool and Babypool provide a humorous contrast to the preceding violence, but the line 'Whatcha laughing at, you little fucker?' may not land as intended. It could be perceived as too aggressive for the playful tone established with Babypool.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of tension or stakes before the action begins to heighten the impact of the fight. This could involve a quick exchange that emphasizes the urgency of their mission.
  • Refine the transition from dialogue to action by incorporating a visual cue or a line that bridges the two, making the shift feel more organic.
  • Replace vague phrases like 'an orgy of superhero-ness' with more specific and imaginative descriptions that paint a clearer picture of the action and its absurdity.
  • Enhance Blind Al's dialogue to make it more memorable or humorous. Consider giving her a unique perspective on the chaos that reflects her character more distinctly.
  • Rework Deadpool's final line to Babypool to maintain the humor without losing the playful tone. Perhaps a more affectionate or silly remark would better suit the moment.



Scene 52 - Peterpool's Triumph
101 EXT. DOWN STREET FROM TVA OUTPOST - DAY 101
*

Then, in the silence...a spreading rustling. The fallen *
DEADPOOLS begin to heal. RISING to their feet. *

DEADPOOL *
Uh oh. I guess these ones *
regenerate. *
(looking around) *
Come on. We don’t have time for *
this. *

The DEADPOOL VARIANTS close their ranks between Deadpool and *
Wolverine and the entrance to the outpost. *

PETERPOOL (O.S.) *
DEADPOOLS! STAND DOWN. *

PETERPOOL (Peter STUFFED into the old red DEADPOOL COSTUME *
FROM THE TAG OF DEADPOOL 2 that he’s been keeping in his *
locker) rides up on his bike, deftly hopping off and into an *
unnecessary safety roll to land between the horde and the *
heroes. *

PETERPOOL (CONT’D) *
This Deadpool’s with me. *

DEADPOOL *
Peter? *

LADY DEADPOOL *
Holy shit. *

The Deadpool variants all stare at him in stunned silence. *

KIDPOOL *
It’s fucking Peter! *

HEADPOOL *
That’s Peter! *

BABYPOOL *
Dada. *


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 121.
101 (CONTINUED) 101

DEADPOOL *
Wait, you guys know Peter? *

LADY DEADPOOL *
Are you kidding me? Every Deadpool *
has a Peter. *

COWBOYPOOL *
Peter’s a goddamn legend in every *
deadpool’s world. *

SAMURAI DEADPOOL *
Mr. Peter...yes. *

Peter’s name echoes through the mob of DEADPOOLS. Peter? Is *
that my Sugar bear? The awed proclamations become a *
cacophony. *

HEADPOOL *
Oh, there’s my guy. *

Stunned, Peter removes his mask. The crowd goes WILD! He *
doesn’t know what’s happening, but he doesn’t hate it. *

DEADPOOLS *
PETER!! PETER!!! *

They hoist Peter on their shoulders. *

DEADPOOL *
(headed down subway steps) *
They are going to put miles of cock *
in Peter! *

Deadpool and Wolverine disappear into the TVA outpost. *
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Fantasy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary As the fallen Deadpool variants begin to heal, Deadpool worries about their regeneration. Just then, Peterpool arrives on his bike, declaring his allegiance to Deadpool, which shocks and excites the variants. They celebrate Peter's presence, hoisting him on their shoulders, while Deadpool and Wolverine take the opportunity to slip away into the TVA outpost amidst the chaotic celebration.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Engaging action sequences
  • Surprise element with Peterpool
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant character development
  • Limited emotional depth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-designed with a good balance of action, humor, and character interactions. The execution is engaging and entertaining, with a unique twist involving the introduction of Peterpool. The concept of multiple Deadpool variants adds depth to the scene and keeps the audience entertained.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of multiple Deadpool variants and the introduction of Peterpool add depth and intrigue to the scene. The unique twist keeps the audience engaged and entertained, showcasing the creativity of the writers.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the chaotic battle between the Deadpool variants and the main characters, with the introduction of Peterpool adding a surprising element. The plot progression is engaging and keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and original take on the superhero genre by exploring themes of identity, camaraderie, and self-discovery through the lens of multiple Deadpool variants. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding a unique twist to familiar superhero tropes.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly Deadpool and Peterpool, showcase their unique personalities and humor. The interactions between the characters add depth to the scene and keep the audience entertained.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in the scene, the introduction of Peterpool adds a new dynamic to the character interactions and showcases the camaraderie among the Deadpool variants.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the unexpected encounter with the various Deadpool variants and maintain his identity and relationships amidst the chaos. This reflects his need for acceptance and connection with others, as well as his desire to protect those close to him.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to enter the TVA outpost with Wolverine and confront the challenges within. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances and obstacles they are facing in their mission.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high, with the chaotic battle between the Deadpool variants and the main characters creating tension and excitement. The stakes are raised with the introduction of Peterpool, adding a new dynamic to the conflict.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, as the protagonist is faced with unexpected challenges and conflicting loyalties that add complexity to the story.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes in the scene are high, with the chaotic battle between the Deadpool variants and the main characters creating tension and excitement. The introduction of Peterpool adds a new element of unpredictability to the conflict.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new elements, such as the Deadpool variants and Peterpool, and setting up future conflicts and alliances. The progression of the plot keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected arrival of Peter and the revelation of his significance to the Deadpools, adding a layer of mystery and intrigue to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the idea of identity and belonging, as the protagonist is confronted with multiple versions of himself and the concept of a shared 'Peter' among Deadpools. This challenges his beliefs about individuality and uniqueness.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The emotional impact of the scene is moderate, with moments of surprise and amusement elicited from the audience. The introduction of Peterpool adds a layer of intrigue and humor to the scene.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is humorous, witty, and engaging. The banter between the characters adds to the comedic tone of the scene and keeps the audience entertained.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic character interactions, unexpected twists, and humorous dialogue that keeps the audience invested in the story and eager to see what happens next.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing action, dialogue, and character moments in a way that keeps the story moving forward and maintains the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue that enhance the visual and narrative flow of the screenplay.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre by setting up the conflict, introducing the characters, and advancing the plot in a cohesive and engaging manner.


Critique
  • The scene effectively utilizes humor and absurdity, which are hallmarks of the Deadpool franchise. The introduction of Peterpool adds a fresh dynamic and serves as a clever twist, reinforcing the interconnectedness of the Deadpool variants.
  • The dialogue is sharp and captures the characters' personalities well. Lines like 'Every Deadpool has a Peter' and 'Peter’s a goddamn legend in every deadpool’s world' are particularly effective in establishing Peter's significance across the multiverse.
  • The pacing of the scene is brisk, which suits the chaotic atmosphere. However, the transition from the intense battle to the comedic reveal of Peterpool could be smoother. The sudden shift in tone might disorient some viewers.
  • The visual imagery of Deadpool variants healing and rising adds a layer of tension, but it could be enhanced by describing their physical transformations more vividly. This would create a stronger visual impact and heighten the urgency of the situation.
  • The scene ends on a humorous note with Deadpool's line about Peter, but it might benefit from a stronger emotional or narrative hook to lead into the next scene. This could help maintain momentum and keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of hesitation or confusion from Peterpool before he confidently declares that Deadpool is with him. This could enhance the comedic effect and showcase his character's personality.
  • Incorporate more physical comedy or visual gags as the Deadpool variants react to Peterpool. This could amplify the humor and absurdity of the situation, making it more memorable.
  • Explore the emotional weight of Peter's arrival. Perhaps include a line or two that reflects Deadpool's surprise or joy at seeing Peter, which could deepen the character dynamics.
  • Enhance the description of the Deadpool variants as they rise. Use vivid language to illustrate their regeneration process, which could add to the tension and urgency of the scene.
  • Consider ending the scene with a cliffhanger or a more dramatic moment that leads directly into the next scene, ensuring a seamless transition and maintaining audience engagement.



Scene 53 - Sacrifice and Shenanigans
105 INT. TVA OUTPOST - CONTROL ROOM - DAY 105
*

Deadpool and Wolverine race into the control room. Mr.
Paradox looks back from his control panel.

MR. PARADOX
Oh, now you’re here. Oh well you’re
too late. It’s all over.

WOLVERINE
Not yet it’s not.

DEADPOOL
(to camera)
No, no, no. But we’re very close.
Homestretch, folks. Promise.
(to Mr. Paradox)
Quick, let’s have the stakes.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 122.
105 (CONTINUED) 105

MR. PARADOX
If she steals the Time Ripper’s
energy she has the power to shred *
the fabric of all realities until
there’s nothing left but the Void.

WOLVERINE
How do we shut it down?

MR. PARADOX
I-I don’t know...

Wolverine pops his claws but leaves the middle blade
retracted, so he can pin Mr. Paradox’s head to the console,
one claw on each side of Mr. Paradox’s neck.

WOLVERINE
How about now?

DEADPOOL
The mask is really intimidating,
huh? Not stupid like Batman.

MR. PARADOX
L-look...

Mr. Paradox brings up THE VIDEO FEED OF THE TIME RIPPER’S
REACTOR POWER SOURCE, deep in the outpost’s bowels.

Two MASSIVE PLASMA PIPES rise up from the floor, snake around
each other (while never coming closer than 10 ft to one
another) and exit through the ceiling. One PIPE crackles with
ORANGE energy. The other’s is a DEEP BLUE. *

MR. PARADOX (CONT’D)
The Ripper is fed from a secured
chamber below ground. It is powered *
by twin matter and anti-matter *
feeds converging inside the device. *
Now Cassandra Nova is redirecting *
the Ripper’s power to eliminate
timelines, all of them. No timeline *
will be safe from extinction. Now
theoretically you could stop her by *
short circuiting the feeds in the *
chamber below. If one of you were *
to create a circuit between the two *
feeds, then the released power *
would destroy the machine, but... *

DEADPOOL
Come on, man! If you’re not gonna
swallow SPIT IT OUT.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 123.
105 (CONTINUED) (2) 105

MR. PARADOX
Whoever formed the bridge would be
annihilated.

WOLVERINE
I could live with that.

DEADPOOL
Yeah, I could live with that too
actually. We survive anything.
We’re like cockroaches.

MR. PARADOX
Not this time. This is matter and *
anti-matter. They do not play
nicely with each other. When they
mix in your body you will be
atomized. Trust the laws of physics
if you don’t trust me. Even if you *
lived long enough to make the *
circuit you will die down there. *

Deadpool and Wolverine stare at the screen, watching
Cassandra feed the Time Ripper.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Fantasy"]

Summary In the TVA control room, Deadpool and Wolverine learn from Mr. Paradox that Cassandra Nova is about to annihilate all timelines using the Time Ripper. The only way to stop her is to create a dangerous circuit between two plasma pipes, which would require a sacrifice. Wolverine is ready to give his life, while Deadpool humorously insists they can survive anything. Mr. Paradox warns them of the lethal consequences of mixing matter and anti-matter. The scene ends with the duo watching Cassandra's destructive actions unfold.
Strengths
  • Intense action sequences
  • Compelling dialogue
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Potential lack of clarity in the technical aspects of the Time Ripper

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-structured, with a clear purpose of setting up the final confrontation and resolving the conflict with Cassandra Nova. The dialogue is engaging, and the stakes are high, keeping the audience invested.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of sacrificing oneself to save the multiverse is a powerful and compelling idea that drives the scene forward. The moral complexity of the decision adds depth to the characters and the story.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is focused on resolving the conflict with Cassandra Nova and stopping her from destroying the multiverse. The pacing is well-executed, leading to a climactic showdown.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a unique device like the Time Ripper and presents a fresh take on the hero's dilemma of sacrificing oneself for the greater good.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with clear motivations and emotional arcs. The interactions between Deadpool, Wolverine, and Mr. Paradox add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant emotional changes in the scene, particularly in their willingness to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. This adds depth to their arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to prevent the destruction of reality and save innocent lives. This reflects their deeper desire to protect and preserve the world they live in.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to shut down the Time Ripper and stop Cassandra Nova from using its power to eliminate timelines.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense, with high stakes and moral dilemmas driving the action. The confrontation with Cassandra Nova raises the tension and keeps the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing a difficult choice that could result in their sacrifice.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are incredibly high, with the fate of the multiverse hanging in the balance. The decision to sacrifice oneself adds a sense of urgency and importance to the conflict.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, resolving the conflict with Cassandra Nova and setting up the final act of the screenplay. The stakes are raised, leading to a climactic showdown.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected sacrifice dilemma presented to the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between sacrificing oneself to save others and the laws of physics governing matter and anti-matter interactions.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a strong emotional impact, particularly in the moments where the characters face the decision to sacrifice themselves. The tension and drama add depth to the story.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging and serves to drive the plot forward while revealing the inner thoughts and conflicts of the characters. The humor adds a light-hearted touch to the intense situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, witty dialogue, and the urgency of the situation.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast-paced and tense, keeping the audience engaged and building suspense effectively.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a high-stakes action sequence, with clear goals, obstacles, and character dynamics.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension by introducing high stakes with the Time Ripper and the potential destruction of all realities. However, the dialogue could benefit from more urgency and emotional weight, especially given the dire consequences at play. The characters' banter, while humorous, sometimes undermines the gravity of the situation.
  • Wolverine's intimidation of Mr. Paradox is a strong moment, but it could be enhanced by showing more of Wolverine's emotional state. Is he frustrated, desperate, or angry? Adding a layer of emotional depth to his actions would make the scene more impactful.
  • Deadpool's humor is a hallmark of the franchise, but in this scene, it feels slightly out of place given the context of impending doom. Balancing his comedic lines with moments of seriousness could create a more dynamic tone, allowing for both humor and tension to coexist effectively.
  • The exposition provided by Mr. Paradox is clear, but it could be more visually engaging. Instead of just dialogue, consider incorporating visual elements that illustrate the stakes, such as quick cuts to the Time Ripper in action or the effects of its power on various timelines.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but it could be tightened in places. For instance, the dialogue exchange between Deadpool and Mr. Paradox could be more concise to maintain momentum and keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Wolverine expresses his personal stakes in the situation, perhaps referencing past failures or losses that make this moment more poignant for him.
  • Incorporate visual storytelling elements, such as quick flashes of the timelines being destroyed or the chaos caused by Cassandra's actions, to heighten the urgency and stakes of the scene.
  • Balance Deadpool's humor with moments of seriousness. Perhaps he could have a brief moment of reflection on the consequences of their actions before diving back into humor, creating a more layered character moment.
  • Tighten the dialogue to enhance pacing. For example, streamline Mr. Paradox's explanation of the Time Ripper and its mechanics to keep the audience's attention focused on the urgency of the situation.
  • Explore the dynamic between Deadpool and Wolverine further. Perhaps they could have a brief exchange that highlights their differing views on sacrifice, adding depth to their relationship and the stakes involved.



Scene 54 - Sacrifice on the Subway Tracks
106 INT. LOWER TVA OUTPOST - SUBWAY TRACKS - DAY 106

Deadpool and Wolverine march along the SUBWAY TRACKS leading
toward the REACTOR POWER SOURCE.
107 INT. TVA OUTPOST - POWER ROOM - CONTINUOUS 107

They approach a massive BLAST DOOR at the end of the tunnel
leading into the POWER ROOM. Wolverine stops Deadpool before
they enter.

WOLVERINE
Hold up, hold up. You heard that *
asshole upstairs. Even if we pull
this off, we’re dead. Permanently.

DEADPOOL
That’s why it’s gotta be me.

WOLVERINE
What?

Wolverine is stunned. Deadpool takes a breath. Removes his
mask.

WADE
Look, man, you didn’t ask for any
of this. You were right. I lied.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 124.
107 (CONTINUED) 107
WADE (CONT’D)
I lied right to your face just to
get you to help me, and you did.

WOLVERINE
You didn’t lie.
(beat)
You made an educated wish.

Wade can’t help but smile through the emotion. Lotta road
traveled here. Wolverine pulls out the crumpled picture from
Wade’s birthday. He kept it.

WOLVERINE (CONT’D)
Come on. You’ve got a whole world
to go back to. I got nothin’. I got
nothin’. Give me this.

Wade is speechless with gratitude. Staring at the photo. We
see the faces of Wade’s family. His friends. Vanessa. His
world. Wolverine pushes the photo into Wade’s chest, before
he turns and walks towards the power room.

WADE
Hey!

Wolverine stops in the threshold, looks back.

WADE (CONT’D)
I waited a long time for this team-
up.
(beat)
And ya know something? You were the
best Wolverine.

WOLVERINE
Say hi to your friends for me.

Wolverine meets Wade’s gaze. A small nod of acknowledgment.
Hard to read his feelings with his mask on, but his voice
tells a different story.

Deadpool MASKS UP.

Wolverine smiles almost imperceptibly. Nods. Steps inside the
blast door, turns to close it when WHAM!! He’s clocked right
in the skull by a fire extinguisher wielded by Deadpool.
Wolvie reels and recovers, but it’s too late:

SLAM!

Deadpool shoves Wolverine aside, slams the door shut and
SPINS the LOCKING WHEEL INSIDE. Wolverine pounds on the door,
yells at Deadpool through the window in the blast door.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 125.
107 (CONTINUED) (2) 107

WOLVERINE (CONT’D)
Open the door! Why are you fucking *
doing this? *

DEADPOOL
(beat)
Because I’m Marvel Jesus. Or Spock.
Hard to say.

WOLVERINE
Wait, you fucking idiot.

Deadpool starts miming in front of the door.

DEADPOOL
Sorry, I’m just stalling. I think *
I’m nervous about dying. *

WOLVERINE *
You don’t need to do this. *

DEADPOOL
(holding up picture of
friends)
I’m not doing it because I need it. *
I’m doing it because they do. *

WOLVERINE *
Wade! Wait to be an annoying prick! *
It should be me. You’re going to *
die in there, you dumb fuck. *

Deadpool steps away. Wolverine puts dents in the steel door
with his fists. But it’s too thick. Steps back and with a
running start, lowers his shoulder and bashes into the door,
testing the limits of his strength and the door’s hinges.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Comedy","Drama"]

Summary In a dimly lit lower TVA outpost, Deadpool and Wolverine confront a massive blast door while navigating subway tracks towards a reactor power source. Wolverine expresses concern about the mission's deadly stakes, leading Deadpool to reveal his intention to sacrifice himself for the sake of his friends. They share a poignant moment, with Wolverine offering a crumpled photo of Wade's loved ones, underscoring Wade's significance. However, in a shocking turn, Deadpool knocks Wolverine out with a fire extinguisher, locking him out of the power room and resolutely proceeding with his plan, leaving Wolverine to futilely attempt to break down the door.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Humor
  • Character development
  • Action sequences
Weaknesses
  • Potential tonal shifts
  • Predictability in sacrifice trope

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene effectively combines emotional depth, humor, and intense action, culminating in a powerful moment of sacrifice and redemption. The dialogue is impactful, and the character dynamics are well-developed.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of sacrifice and redemption is central to the scene, driving the character motivations and plot progression. The idea of one character sacrificing themselves for another adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around Deadpool's decision to sacrifice himself for Wolverine, leading to a significant turning point in their relationship. The stakes are high, and the resolution is impactful.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the superhero genre by exploring themes of sacrifice, redemption, and friendship. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to their personalities.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are well-developed, with their relationship at the core of the scene. Their emotional journey and growth are compelling, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 9

Deadpool undergoes a significant character change by choosing to sacrifice himself for Wolverine, showcasing his growth and redemption. Wolverine also experiences growth through Deadpool's sacrifice.

Internal Goal: 9

Deadpool's internal goal is to sacrifice himself to save Wolverine and the world. This reflects his deeper desire to redeem himself and make amends for his past mistakes.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to lock Wolverine out of the power room to prevent him from sacrificing himself. This reflects the immediate challenge of making a difficult decision to save others.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Deadpool grapples with the decision to sacrifice himself for Wolverine. The emotional conflict drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and emotional stakes for the characters. The audience is unsure of how the conflict will be resolved, adding suspense and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as Deadpool faces the ultimate sacrifice to save Wolverine and prevent a catastrophic event. The decision carries significant consequences for the characters and the story.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by resolving the conflict between Deadpool and Wolverine, setting the stage for the final act of the screenplay. It marks a crucial turning point in their relationship.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected character choices, twists in the dialogue, and the shifting dynamics between Deadpool and Wolverine.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between self-sacrifice and self-preservation. Deadpool believes he must sacrifice himself for the greater good, while Wolverine argues that it should be him instead.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting feelings of gratitude, regret, and sacrifice from the audience. The moment of Deadpool's sacrifice is particularly poignant and resonant.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is poignant, humorous, and authentic, capturing the emotional weight of the moment. The interactions between Deadpool and Wolverine are particularly strong.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, witty dialogue, and high-stakes conflict. The audience is invested in the characters' choices and the outcome of the scene.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, with a balance of dialogue, action, and emotional beats. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its emotional impact and narrative progression.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions. The formatting enhances the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure with a buildup of tension, emotional revelations, and a dramatic climax. The pacing and formatting enhance the impact of the character interactions.


Critique
  • The emotional stakes in this scene are high, as Deadpool and Wolverine confront the reality of their impending sacrifice. However, the transition from humor to a serious moment feels slightly abrupt. While Deadpool's humor is a core aspect of his character, it might benefit the scene to allow for a more gradual shift in tone to enhance the emotional weight of the moment.
  • Wolverine's dialogue effectively conveys his concern for Deadpool, but it could be strengthened by adding more depth to his motivations. Why does Wolverine feel he has nothing to go back to? A brief flashback or a line hinting at his past could add layers to his character and make his willingness to sacrifice himself more poignant.
  • The use of the crumpled photo is a strong visual and emotional anchor, but it could be more impactful if it were introduced earlier in the script. This would allow the audience to understand its significance before this moment, enhancing the emotional payoff when it is revealed.
  • Deadpool's decision to knock out Wolverine feels in line with his character, but it may come off as too comedic in a moment that is otherwise serious. This action could undermine the emotional gravity of the scene. Consider balancing the humor with the stakes by having Deadpool express his reasoning more clearly before taking such a drastic action.
  • The dialogue is witty and captures the essence of both characters, but some lines could be trimmed for brevity. For instance, Deadpool's miming and joking about being 'Marvel Jesus' could be shortened to maintain the tension and urgency of the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief flashback or line of dialogue that reveals Wolverine's past struggles, enhancing the emotional stakes of his willingness to sacrifice himself.
  • Introduce the crumpled photo earlier in the script to build its significance, allowing for a more impactful emotional moment when it is revealed.
  • Balance the humor in Deadpool's character with the serious stakes of the scene by allowing for a more gradual shift in tone, ensuring the audience feels the weight of the moment.
  • Revise Deadpool's dialogue to be more concise, particularly during the moments of humor, to maintain the urgency and emotional tension of the scene.
  • Explore Deadpool's internal conflict more deeply before he knocks out Wolverine, perhaps by having him express his fears or regrets about the situation, making his decision feel more justified.



Scene 55 - Circuit of Destiny
108 INT. LOWER TVA - SUBTERRANEAN POWER ROOM - DAY 108

Deadpool stands in front of the snaking tubes pumping PLASMA
and ANTI-PLASMA to the Time Ripper high above.

He takes it all in. The powers at play are truly awesome.

DEADPOOL
Fuck it. Time to save the world.

Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” reprises. Deadpool grabs the PLASMA
TUBE. The energy snakes up his arm, wracking his body with
pain.

With a truly super human effort he stretches his hand closer
to the ANTI-PLASMA tube to complete the circuit. Wolverine
rams the door futilely.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 126.
108 (CONTINUED) 108

Deadpool’s arms widen, like the Savior on the cross. This is
his destiny. His sacrifice.

Pull out to reveal he’s a SOLID EIGHT FEET from the ANTI-
PLASMA tube.

Mr. Paradox watches.

MR. PARADOX
He’s not going to make it. It’s
over.

Back on Deadpool. He stretches his fingers, so hard they look
like they’ll pop out of their sockets. NOT EVEN CLOSE. Still
he keeps Reaching. Reaching...Reaching...

Suddenly a hand grabs hold of Deadpool’s forearm

WOLVERINE MADE IT INSIDE. Wolverine came for him.

They lock eyes. Wolverine NODS.

Like a Prayer turns orchestral. Epic. Wolverine’s arms
stretch wide. Two saviors. Side by side...

...but still a foot short!

That is, until Wolverine POPS HIS CLAWS. They extend...and...

THE CIRCUIT IS COMPLETED. The heroes are wracked with an
INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF ENERGY.

MONTAGE OF FLASHBACKS: *

MR. PARADOX (CONT’D) *
This Wolverine let down his entire *
world. *

DEADPOOL *
The Wolverine is a hero in my *
world. *

WOLVERINE *
Whoever you think I am, you’ve got *
the wrong guy. *

LEMON *
You were always the wrong guy. *
Until you weren’t. *

DEADPOOL *
My entire world is right here in *
this picture. And I have no idea *
how to save it alone. *


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 127.
108 (CONTINUED) (2) 108

MR. PARADOX *
Wade, you can finally, finally *
matter. *

WADE *
Vanessa...I want to see Vanessa. *

WOLVERINE *
For the first time in my life, I am *
proud to wear this suit. It means *
I’m an X-man. I am the x-man. *

Energy that flares and SHOOTS UPWARDS. Sparks shower down on *
them.
109 INT. TIME RIPPER CHAMBER - DAY 109

Cassandra is mid-rapture. The GROUND begins to shake.

She looks worried, then concentrates...absorbing more power.

INTERCUT with DEADPOOL and WOLVERINE below her.

Reality seems to VIBRATE around them.

The powerful forces at play test the integrity of Deadpool’s
TVA-issued suit, while WOLVERINE’S MASK gets partially ripped
away, then his chest armor is BLOWN RIGHT OFF, revealing
insanely cut ABS. Even wracked with energy, Deadpool manages
to ogle him.

The energy feeding Cassandra changes...she screams in pain.

The TIME RIPPER atomizes, OBLITERATING CASSANDRA NOVA.

And presumably our HEROES.

VARIOUS SHOTS POST EXPLOSION

The aftermath of the destructive event that just took place.

A shred of Wolverine’s shirt dangles from a gnarled piece of
metal.

Wade’s birthday Polaroid floats, scorched and lifeless, atop
the coolant pool.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Fantasy"]

Summary In the TVA's subterranean power room, Deadpool grapples with his destiny as he attempts to connect plasma tubes to save the world, enduring immense pain. Despite Mr. Paradox's skepticism, Wolverine arrives just in time to assist him, completing the circuit and unleashing a powerful energy surge. This explosion obliterates Cassandra Nova and leaves behind remnants of their battle, highlighting themes of sacrifice and camaraderie.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Heroism
  • Sacrifice
  • Humor
  • Action sequences
Weaknesses
  • Potential character deaths
  • Uncertainty of outcome

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, combining elements of sacrifice, heroism, emotional depth, and humor effectively. The intense action sequences, emotional character moments, and high stakes contribute to a compelling and memorable scene.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of sacrifice, heroism, and teamwork to save the world is central to the scene, driving the characters' actions and the overall narrative forward. The idea of completing a dangerous circuit to stop a destructive force adds depth and tension to the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the characters' mission to stop Cassandra Nova by completing a dangerous circuit, leading to a climactic explosion. The plot progression is well-paced, with significant developments and high stakes driving the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on superhero tropes, with unexpected twists and character dynamics that add authenticity and depth to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are central to the scene, showcasing their bravery, selflessness, and camaraderie as they face a life-threatening situation. Their emotional depth, humor, and determination make them compelling and relatable.

Character Changes: 9

Both Deadpool and Wolverine undergo significant character changes in the scene, showcasing their bravery, selflessness, and willingness to make sacrifices for the greater good. Their actions and decisions reflect growth, development, and a sense of heroism.

Internal Goal: 8

Deadpool's internal goal in this scene is to save the world, reflecting his desire to be a hero and make a meaningful impact.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to complete the circuit with the anti-plasma tube, facing physical challenges and obstacles in the process.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with the characters facing a life-threatening situation and a powerful antagonist. The tension, danger, and emotional stakes create a sense of urgency and drama.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds conflict and challenges for the characters, creating uncertainty and suspense for the audience.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes in the scene are incredibly high, with the characters facing the potential destruction of multiple timelines and the sacrifice of their own lives to save the world. The danger, urgency, and emotional weight of the situation heighten the tension and drama.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, resolving the conflict with Cassandra Nova and setting the stage for the next phase of the narrative. The completion of the dangerous circuit and the resulting explosion have a lasting impact on the plot and characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and the outcome of the hero's sacrifice.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of sacrifice and heroism, as Deadpool and Wolverine face a life-threatening situation to save the world.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a significant emotional impact, evoking feelings of sacrifice, heroism, and camaraderie as the characters face a life-or-death situation. The emotional depth, character moments, and high stakes resonate with the audience, creating a powerful and memorable experience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions, motivations, and relationships. The lines are impactful, reflecting the high stakes and emotional intensity of the moment.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, emotional depth, and dynamic character interactions that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment that resonates with the audience.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following industry standards for screenplay format.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a well-paced structure that builds tension and suspense effectively, leading to a climactic moment of sacrifice and heroism.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and stakes as Deadpool prepares to sacrifice himself, which is a strong emotional arc. However, the pacing could be improved by tightening the dialogue and action to maintain momentum as the scene progresses.
  • The use of Madonna's 'Like a Prayer' is a clever choice that adds an ironic layer to the moment, but it may benefit from a more explicit connection to the themes of sacrifice and redemption. Consider integrating lyrics or thematic elements from the song into the dialogue or visuals to enhance this connection.
  • The visual imagery of Deadpool stretching towards the ANTI-PLASMA tube is powerful, but the description could be more vivid. Instead of just stating he is 'a solid eight feet from the ANTI-PLASMA tube,' consider using more dynamic language to convey the struggle and desperation of the moment.
  • The montage of flashbacks is a strong narrative device, but it feels a bit rushed. Each flashback could be given a moment to breathe, allowing the audience to fully absorb the emotional weight of each memory. This would enhance the impact of Deadpool's sacrifice.
  • The dialogue between Deadpool and Wolverine is effective in showcasing their relationship, but it could be more concise. Some lines feel a bit verbose and could be trimmed to maintain the scene's urgency and emotional intensity.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of hesitation or doubt for Deadpool before he commits to the sacrifice, which could deepen his character development and make the eventual act more impactful.
  • Incorporate more physicality into the scene, such as Deadpool's body language reflecting his pain and determination, to visually convey the stakes of the moment.
  • Explore the emotional stakes further by having Deadpool vocalize his thoughts or fears about what he might lose if he fails, creating a stronger connection with the audience.
  • Enhance the visual effects description during the energy surge to create a more immersive experience for the reader, using metaphors or similes that align with the tone of the scene.
  • Consider ending the scene with a more definitive moment of consequence or resolution, rather than leaving it ambiguous. This could provide a stronger emotional payoff for the audience.



Scene 56 - Resurrection and Accountability
110 INT. TVA OUTPOST - CONTROL ROOM - DAY 110

MR. Paradox exhales. He didn’t destroy ALL OF REALITY. Thank
God.

His head cocks at the sound of FOOTSTEPS marching down the
stairs from the street above.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 128.
110 (CONTINUED) 110

A full REGIMENT of TVA MINUTEMEN descend, followed by B-15
and a small phalanx (5) of TVA UPPER-MANAGEMENT. She takes in
the scene.

B-15
Paradox. You’ve been busy.

MR. PARADOX
Well, somebody had to be.

B-15
We had some strange readings from
this location. You wouldn’t know
anything about an unsanctioned Time
Ripper would you?

MR. PARADOX
No, no. I wouldn’t know anything *
about an unsanctioned Time Ripper. *
Maybe you should ask Cassandra *
Nova, because I was assured she was *
safely held in the void. But no, *
she was here...and she fondled my *
brain! How did you let this
HAPPEN??

B-15
You weren’t involved at all?

MR. PARADOX
In stopping her, yes. Yes I was.
(sincerely emotional)
But not nearly enough. Not as much
as the men who went down there *
after her. My men. My friends. *

CUT TO: SPARKS FLY IN THE BURNED OUT WRECKAGE OF THE TIME
RIPPER.

MR. PARADOX (V.O.)
I warned them that they would be *
completely obliterated. But they *
went anyway.

Back with B-15, Paradox’s voice quivers with genuine emotion.

MR. PARADOX
Like heroes. Because that’s who
they were.

CUT TO: THE ABANDONED SUBWAY TUNNEL.




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 129.
(CONTINUED)

Two shots. A wide and a medium of WOLVERINE dragging
DEADPOOL’S lifeless body. Suddenly, Deadpool puts his arm on
Wolverine.

ALT:

A wide and a medium of WOLVERINE bridal-carrying DEADPOOL’S *
LIFELESS BODY. Wolverine places his fallen comrade on the
ground.

He’s lost him. Deadpool is gone.

MR. PARADOX (CONT’D)
They just did what they had to do, *
with no concern for their own *
safety.

Back with B-15 and Paradox.

MR. PARADOX (CONT’D)
The fact that we are all still *
standing here is a testament to
their heroism.

CUT TO: THE MANGLED SCAFFOLDING OF THE TIME RIPPER CHAMBER. *

Deadpool and a SHIRTLESS, PARTIALLY MASKED Wolverine arrive
from below.

MR. PARADOX (CONT’D) *
Anyway, there’s nothing you or I *
can do to bring them back now. *

DEADPOOL (O.S.) *
He has risen, baby girl. *

MR. PARADOX *
FUCK. *

They approach. *

DEADPOOL *
Found your new Anchor Being. *

Paradox’s expression drops. How?

WOLVERINE *
And we’re doing just fine, you *
piece of shit.

B-15 and the TVA Troops ogle Wolverine’s BARE CHEST. Maybe
it’s even the SAME “I LIKE ME” MUG-TOTING TVA staffer from
Act One! Only now his mug reads “STILL LIKE ME”.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 130.
(CONTINUED) (2)

TVA STAFFER
Fine indeed...

Deadpool tosses Wolverine a TVA JACKET from a chair.

DEADPOOL *
Alright, put your greasy tits away *
you preening slut.

Wolverine puts on the jacket.

MR. PARADOX
I don’t understand. How are you two *
still alive?

DEADPOOL
You were right. One of us would
have been killed. But you put a
Deadpool AND a Wolverine together?
Make ‘em hold hands while listening
to Madonna. Indestructible,
motherfucker.

B-15
(re: Deadpool)
Let’s get this Deadpool variant
back to the Void.

DEADPOOL *
Whoa, whoa, whoa. *

PETER (O.S.)
Nope! Actually...

PETER rushes down the stairs.

PETER (CONT’D)
This one’s home grown. Like me. He *
belongs here. *

B-15
And you are?

PETER
PeterPool. But you can call me
Peter. And I hope that you do.

Peter looks deep in B-15’s eyes. Paradox clocks that moment.

MR. PARADOX
What the FUCK is happening here?!

Paradox is grabbed by the Minutemen.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 131.
(CONTINUED) (3)

B-15
You are under judgement for
operating an unsanctioned Time
Ripper.
(to officers) *
Take him. *

MR. PARADOX
I was just doing what you don’t
have the GUTS to do-- GET YOUR
INSOLENT HANDS OFF ME!

Paradox is taken away through a TIME DOOR. B-15 assesses the
two ravaged heroes.

B-15
I’m grateful, gentlemen.

Deadpool takes a bow.

B-15 (CONT’D)
Let’s hold the bows. You led an
omega-level mutant to this
timeline...

DEADPOOL
You’re welcome.

B-15
(to Wolverine)
...and you shouldn’t even be NEAR
this timeline.

DEADPOOL
He’s welcome.

B-15
(to Peter)
And you...look damn good in that
suit.

PETER
I’m so sorry. *

B-15 checks her HANDHELD DEVICE.

B-15
I want to show you something.
Something huge... *

DEADPOOL
That’s what scoutmaster Kevin used
to say. *


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 132.
(CONTINUED) (4)

B-15 shows them her screen. *

B-15
Do you see that? Your universe is
regenerating. Whatever you did
here...you not only saved your
world, you spared your timeline
from extinction.
(she regards them warmly)
I’d rest up. I have a feeling your
work is only just getting started. *

DEADPOOL *
(whispering to Wolvie) *
Until you’re ninety. *

B-15 goes to leave. Deadpool looks to Logan.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
Wait. We couldn’t have made it out *
of the Void without some *
help...from some people that the *
world kind of forgot. Is there any *
way that you could maybe find a way *
to bring them home? *

B-15 tries to hide it, but she’s impressed with Deadpool’s
heart.

B-15
I’ll see what I can do.

DEADPOOL *
This might be an educated wish. *
(winks at Wolverine) *
But I promised my friend here that *
the TVA could undo some pretty *
awful shit in his timeline. What *
would you say to that? *

B-15 *
Change the past? *

DEADPOOL *
He did help me save the world. *

B-15 *
And his past made him the man who *
did it. There’s nothing to fix, Mr. *
Wilson. *
(to Wolverine) *
Logan. *




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 133.
(CONTINUED) (5)

DEADPOOL
(to Wolverine)
Guess you’re fucked. Schwarma? *

LOGAN
I could eat. *
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Fantasy","Comedy"]

Summary In the TVA Outpost's control room, Mr. Paradox grapples with guilt over his actions and the loss of his men, confronted by B-15 and TVA Minutemen. Tension rises as Paradox faces judgment for his unsanctioned Time Ripper. Meanwhile, Wolverine drags Deadpool's lifeless body, only for Deadpool to comically revive, surprising everyone. New ally Peter claims Deadpool belongs in this timeline. As Paradox is taken away, B-15 expresses gratitude to Wolverine and Deadpool for their unexpected heroism. The scene concludes with Deadpool humorously asking B-15 to help bring back forgotten allies, leading to a light-hearted exchange about food.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Effective blend of humor and emotion
  • High stakes and tension
Weaknesses
  • Some elements of humor may not resonate with all audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines humor, emotion, and action, culminating in a poignant moment of sacrifice by the heroes. The dialogue is witty and engaging, and the stakes are high, keeping the audience invested.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of heroes sacrificing themselves for the greater good is a powerful and timeless theme. The scene effectively explores this concept through the characters' actions and dialogue.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is engaging, with the heroes facing a critical decision that will impact the fate of their world. The tension builds effectively, leading to a satisfying resolution.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh elements such as time-travel technology, complex moral dilemmas, and dynamic character relationships. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, adding a layer of originality to the familiar genre tropes.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with Deadpool showcasing his trademark humor and Wolverine displaying his stoic yet caring nature. Their interactions and decisions drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Both Deadpool and Wolverine undergo significant changes in the scene, particularly in their willingness to sacrifice themselves for others. This moment marks a pivotal development in their characters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to come to terms with the loss of his friends and the guilt he feels for their sacrifice. This reflects his deeper need for redemption and acceptance of his role in their deaths.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to confront the consequences of his actions and face judgment for operating an unsanctioned Time Ripper. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing within the TVA structure.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the heroes grapple with the decision to sacrifice themselves. The external conflict with Cassandra Nova adds tension and urgency.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing judgment and consequences for his actions. The uncertainty of the outcome adds tension and conflict to the scene.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the heroes face the possibility of sacrificing themselves to save their world. The outcome will have a significant impact on the story and characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by resolving the conflict with Cassandra Nova and setting the stage for future events. It propels the narrative towards a new direction.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in the plot, character interactions, and moral dilemmas. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the situation will resolve.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the idea of sacrifice and heroism. The protagonist grapples with the value of sacrifice and the impact it has on those left behind, while the TVA represents a more bureaucratic and rule-bound approach to maintaining the timeline.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, especially during the heroes' sacrifice. The audience is likely to feel a mix of emotions, from humor to sorrow, as they witness the characters' journey.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and emotionally resonant, capturing the essence of each character. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the audience's connection to the heroes.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of action, emotion, and humor. The high stakes and character dynamics keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension, balancing action with emotional moments, and maintaining the audience's interest. The rhythm of the dialogue and scene transitions adds to the overall impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is formatted correctly and enhances the overall flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character arcs and narrative progression. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic aftermath of the previous events, showcasing the emotional weight of loss through Mr. Paradox's reflections. However, the transition from the emotional stakes to the comedic tone feels abrupt. The shift from a serious moment of mourning to Deadpool's humorous quips could be smoothed out to maintain a consistent emotional flow.
  • Mr. Paradox's character is given depth through his guilt and emotional turmoil, but the dialogue could be more concise. Some lines feel overly verbose, which detracts from the urgency of the situation. Tightening his dialogue would enhance the pacing and keep the audience engaged.
  • The introduction of Peterpool adds a layer of humor and absurdity, which is in line with the Deadpool franchise. However, his arrival could be better foreshadowed or integrated into the scene to avoid feeling like a sudden plot device. This would help maintain narrative cohesion.
  • The interactions between characters, particularly between Deadpool, Wolverine, and B-15, are humorous and engaging. However, B-15's character could benefit from more assertiveness in her dialogue, especially when confronting Mr. Paradox. This would enhance her role as a strong leader within the TVA.
  • The scene ends on a light note with Deadpool's humorous suggestion of shawarma, which is a classic callback. However, it might be more impactful if the final lines reflected on the gravity of their situation before transitioning to humor, reinforcing the stakes of their journey.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of silence or reflection after Mr. Paradox's emotional speech to allow the audience to absorb the weight of the loss before transitioning to humor.
  • Streamline Mr. Paradox's dialogue to make it more impactful. Focus on key emotional beats rather than lengthy explanations to maintain pacing.
  • Integrate Peterpool's arrival more seamlessly into the scene, perhaps by hinting at his presence earlier or having him interact with the environment before making a grand entrance.
  • Empower B-15's character by giving her more commanding dialogue when addressing Mr. Paradox. This will enhance her authority and presence in the scene.
  • Revisit the final lines to ensure they balance humor with the emotional stakes. Consider having Deadpool reflect on their journey or the importance of their actions before ending with a comedic note.



Scene 57 - Bittersweet Farewell Over Shawarma
112 EXT. TVA OUTPOST/SUBWAY STOP - DAY 112

The ravaged and blood-soaked BUS is towed out of frame
REVEALING:

The ravaged and blood-soaked heroes, sitting side by side on
a bench across the street, finishing up their SHAWARMA.

WADE
You know, the Avengers discovered
shawarma.

WOLVERINE
(chewing)
They’d be lucky to have you.

WADE
Yeah.

An unholy MOAN fills the air. Wolverine sniffs the air,
repulsed.

Wade’s face LIGHTS UP AS HE SEES SOMETHING EMERGING FROM THE
WRECKAGE:

DOGPOOL, waddling sheepishly up to the guys.

WADE (CONT’D)
Oh, fuck off! Come here, my little
cuntchkin! Yes, it’s you. You’re a
survivor. She made it!!

Wade scoops the hairless abomination into his arms, snuggling
her with absolute love.

WADE (CONT’D)
All’s right in the world. Yes, it
is.

A beat. Wade turns to Wolvie.

WADE (CONT’D)
So. What’re you gonna do next?

WOLVERINE
I’ll figure it out. I always do.


(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 134.
112 (CONTINUED) 112

WADE
So... I’ll probably see ya around?

WOLVERINE
Probably not.

A beat.

WOLVERINE (CONT’D)
See you, bub.

Wade nods. Wolverine stands up. Nods at Wade and heads off
down the street, getting smaller and smaller into the
distance.

THEN:

WADE
(calling down the block)
Logan!

Wolverine keeps walking.

Then stops. Turns back to Wade with the barest hint of a
smile.

We hear the first notes of Joe Cocker’s, “WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS”.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Superhero"]

Summary In a chaotic aftermath marked by a blood-soaked bus, Wade and Wolverine share a light-hearted moment on a bench, enjoying shawarma and reminiscing about their friendship. Wade joyfully embraces Dogpool, expressing hope for future encounters, while Wolverine hints at their diverging paths. Their emotional farewell is underscored by humor and camaraderie, culminating in a poignant moment as Wolverine walks away, turning back with a faint smile as music plays.
Strengths
  • Humorous dialogue
  • Heartfelt moments
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Low external conflict
  • Limited plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene effectively balances humor, emotion, and character development, providing a satisfying conclusion to the dynamic between Deadpool and Wolverine. The mix of tones and sentiments creates a memorable and impactful moment.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on the final interaction between Deadpool and Wolverine, is compelling and well-executed. It encapsulates their unique dynamic and individual journeys effectively.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the characters sharing a shawarma meal and parting ways, providing closure to their story arc. While simple, it is impactful and serves as a meaningful conclusion.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on post-apocalyptic themes by focusing on the personal relationships and emotional journeys of the characters. The dialogue feels authentic and engaging, adding depth to the story.


Character Development

Characters: 9.5

The characters of Deadpool and Wolverine are well-developed in the scene, showcasing their humor, depth, and growth. Their interactions feel authentic and resonate with the audience.

Character Changes: 8

Both Deadpool and Wolverine experience a subtle change in their dynamic and individual paths, with Deadpool showing growth and Wolverine finding closure.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to find solace and connection in the midst of chaos. Wade's love for Dogpool and his interaction with Wolverine reflect his deeper need for companionship and understanding.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to say goodbye to Wolverine and come to terms with their parting ways. It reflects the immediate circumstances of their post-battle situation and the challenges of moving on.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The scene has low conflict, focusing more on resolution and closure for the characters. The conflict is internal and emotional rather than external.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is subtle but effective, with the tension between Wade and Wolverine adding depth to their relationship. The uncertainty of their parting adds a layer of complexity to the scene.

High Stakes: 2

The stakes are low in the scene, focusing more on personal growth and relationships rather than life-threatening situations. The emphasis is on emotional resolution.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene does not significantly move the main plot forward, it provides important character development and closure for Deadpool and Wolverine, setting the stage for their future journeys.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional depth and character dynamics. The resolution of the conflict between Wade and Wolverine is surprising and poignant.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the idea of finding hope and connection in a world filled with destruction and loss. Wade's love for Dogpool and his interaction with Wolverine challenge his beliefs about survival and companionship.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of nostalgia, humor, and warmth. The farewell between Deadpool and Wolverine resonates with the audience and leaves a lasting impression.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is witty, heartfelt, and reflective, capturing the essence of Deadpool and Wolverine's relationship. It effectively conveys their emotions and provides closure.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, emotion, and character development. The interactions between Wade and Wolverine keep the audience invested in their journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of action and dialogue that keeps the story moving forward. The rhythm of the scene enhances its emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for its genre, with clear action lines and dialogue cues. It is easy to follow and visually engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-paced dialogue and character interactions. It effectively conveys the emotional beats of the story.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the contrasting personalities of Wade and Wolverine, showcasing Wade's irreverent humor against Wolverine's more stoic demeanor. This dynamic is a hallmark of their relationship and is well-executed here.
  • The introduction of Dogpool adds a layer of absurdity and humor, which is consistent with Deadpool's character. However, the transition from the serious stakes of the previous scene to this light-hearted moment feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative.
  • Wade's dialogue about shawarma is a nice callback to the Avengers, but it could benefit from a bit more context or a punchline that ties it back to their current situation. As it stands, it feels slightly disconnected from the emotional weight of their recent experiences.
  • Wolverine's response to Wade's question about his future is appropriately vague, reflecting his character's tendency to keep things close to the vest. However, it might be more impactful if he shared a hint of his internal struggle or a specific goal, adding depth to his character in this moment.
  • The emotional beat when Wade calls out to Wolverine at the end is touching, but it could be strengthened by a more pronounced reaction from Wolverine. A brief pause or a more significant expression could heighten the emotional resonance of their farewell.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Wade before he spots Dogpool, allowing him to process the events that just transpired. This could create a more seamless transition from the previous scene's tension to the humor of this one.
  • Enhance the dialogue about shawarma by incorporating a joke or a reference that ties it back to their recent battle or the absurdity of their situation, making it feel more relevant.
  • Explore Wolverine's internal conflict further by having him express a specific goal or concern about the future, which would add depth to his character and make his farewell to Wade more impactful.
  • When Wade calls out to Wolverine at the end, consider having Wolverine pause longer before turning back, allowing the audience to feel the weight of their parting and the bond they share.
  • To maintain the comedic tone while also acknowledging the gravity of their situation, you might include a humorous callback to a previous joke or moment in the script, reinforcing the continuity of their relationship.



Scene 58 - A Day of Friends and Laughter
113 INT. WADE’S APARTMENT - DAY 113

Deadpool takes his mask off as he leads Logan inside...

WADE
Al? I’m back!

Blind Al comes out from the bedroom.

BLIND AL
About damn time! You holdin’? I’m
all outta devil’s dandruff and I’m
shakin’ like an angry vibrator--

WADE
Thank you, Al. We have company.
Althea, uh... this is Logan...

BLIND AL
Nice to meet you, Logan.

LOGAN
Nice to meet you too.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 135.
113 (CONTINUED) 113

WADE
(off Dogpool)
And this little ancient anal shit-
nod is Mary Puppins. Or as I like
to call her, Dogpool. You want to
treat yourself to a little stroke?
Get the tongue.

BLIND AL
Oh my god. Motherfucker.

WADE
Right? It’s like an armadillo
fucked a gremlin. Angrily. In a bed
of gonorrhea. And didn’t stop until
the sun came up.
114 OUR SONG CONTINUES: 114

TIGHT ON WADE looking wistful. Grateful. We see what he’s
looking at. His world. His universe... AKA: His friends.

Everyone from his birthday party is here. Over music, we see
Wade and Vanessa lock eyes. The chasm between them, perhaps a
little closer now. A flicker of hope. He continues looking at
her as Dogpool’s tongue explores the inside of Wade’s mouth.
As the camera pans across everyone’s faces, we see the
relaxed joy among these pals.

WADE (V.O.)
Everyone wants to matter. Turns out
ya don’t need to be Marvel Jesus to
do it. You just need to open your
eyes and look around. And if you’re
lucky? You’ll find a few friends.
Old friends...

We finally drift to a stop at an unexpected face... LEMON.

WADE (V.O.)
...And new.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In Wade's apartment, Deadpool removes his mask and introduces Logan to Blind Al and Dogpool, creating a humorous atmosphere. As Al humorously complains about her lack of drugs, Wade reflects on the importance of friendship while surrounded by his friends, including Vanessa and newcomer Lemon. The scene blends nostalgia with comedy, highlighting the warmth and camaraderie among the group, ultimately emphasizing Wade's internal struggle with belonging and connection.
Strengths
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Effective humor
  • Camaraderie
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant plot progression
  • Low stakes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively balances humor, character interaction, and a hint of emotional depth, providing a well-rounded and engaging moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the introduction of new characters, humor, and friendship dynamics is well-executed and adds depth to the overall narrative.

Plot: 7.5

While the scene doesn't heavily impact the main plot, it serves as a moment of character development and relationship building, adding richness to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique and quirky characters, with fresh and unexpected dialogue that adds authenticity to the interactions. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and original.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined, with distinct personalities and interactions that drive the scene forward and engage the audience.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it deepens the relationships between the characters and sets the stage for potential growth.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to reconnect with his friends and find a sense of belonging and acceptance. This reflects his deeper need for connection and companionship.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to introduce his friend Logan to his quirky group of friends and create a sense of camaraderie.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The scene lacks significant conflict, focusing more on character interaction and humor.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is mild, with humorous conflicts and challenges that add to the comedic tone of the scene. The audience is left wondering how the characters will navigate these obstacles.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in this scene are relatively low, focusing more on character dynamics and humor than intense conflict or high-risk situations.

Story Forward: 7

The scene doesn't propel the main plot forward significantly but adds depth to the characters and their relationships, enriching the overall narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected character interactions and humorous dialogue. The audience is kept on their toes by the quirky and irreverent nature of the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's search for meaning and connection in a world that can be chaotic and unpredictable. This challenges his beliefs about the importance of friendship and relationships.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to sentimentality, creating a well-rounded emotional experience for the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reveals character dynamics effectively, adding depth to the scene and engaging the audience.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, quirky characters, and humorous interactions. The banter between the characters keeps the audience entertained and invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and humor, with well-timed character interactions and dialogue. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and entertained.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is formatted correctly and enhances the flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-paced dialogue and character interactions. It effectively introduces the characters and sets up the dynamic of the group.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the warmth and camaraderie among the characters, which is essential for a satisfying conclusion. However, the humor, while characteristic of Deadpool, sometimes overshadows the emotional weight of the moment. The balance between humor and sentimentality could be refined to ensure that the audience feels the emotional stakes more profoundly.
  • The introduction of Dogpool as 'Mary Puppins' is a humorous touch, but it may distract from the more serious undertones of Wade's reflections on friendship and belonging. While Deadpool's humor is a staple, it might be beneficial to allow moments of sincerity to breathe without immediate comedic relief.
  • Wade's voiceover provides a nice introspective layer, but it could be more impactful if it directly tied back to the events of the story. For instance, referencing specific moments or struggles they faced together could enhance the emotional resonance of his reflections.
  • The transition from the comedic introduction of Dogpool to the more serious themes of friendship and belonging feels abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the emotional flow of the scene, allowing the audience to digest the humor before diving into the more poignant moments.
  • The visual elements, such as the tight shots of Wade's expressions and the gathering of friends, are effective in conveying the atmosphere. However, the scene could benefit from more dynamic camera movements or angles to enhance the emotional impact and keep the audience engaged visually.
Suggestions
  • Consider reducing the amount of humor in the introduction of Dogpool to allow for a more poignant moment of reflection. This could help maintain the emotional tone of the scene.
  • Enhance Wade's voiceover by incorporating specific references to past events or struggles that highlight the importance of friendship, making his reflections feel more grounded and relatable.
  • Introduce a more gradual transition from humor to sentimentality, perhaps by allowing a moment of silence or a shared glance between characters before diving into Wade's voiceover.
  • Experiment with different camera angles or movements to create a more dynamic visual experience that complements the emotional tone of the scene.
  • Ensure that the emotional stakes are clear and resonate with the audience by emphasizing the significance of the friendships depicted, perhaps through brief flashbacks or visual cues that remind viewers of the journey the characters have taken together.



Scene 59 - Moments of Connection
115 INT. PETER’S APARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY 115

Close on B-15.

WADE (V.O.)
Including some in pretty high
places.

She looks happy. Perhaps... smitten. She leans in and
kisses... PETER.



(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 136.
115 (CONTINUED) 115

We see we’re at the door of an apartment. Peter looks
obscenely happy.

PETER
Thanks for your help with that *
Lemon thing. *

B-15 *
We don’t speak of that. *

They kiss. *

A time door opens behind her. With an effortless cool, she
steps back in and DISAPPEARS.
116 OMITTED (FORMERLY INT. PETER’S APARTMENT) 116

117 INT. WADE’S APARTMENT - LATER 117

From across the room, we see Wade and friends laughing,
drinking, enjoying their time together deep into the night.

Logan catches Wade staring at Vanessa.

LOGAN
Give me the fucking dog. Talk to
the girl.

Wade turns to Vanessa.

VANESSA
Oh hi.

WADE
Hi.

VANESSA
You’ve been busy.

WADE
I did it for you. Even if you don’t
want me. I did it for you.

WADE (V.O.)
Turns out I am the world saving
type. Just look around this table
if you want proof. And the best
part? Sometimes the people we save?

Camera slides slowly as we RACK FOCUS to the foreground where
we REVEAL:




(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 137.
117 (CONTINUED) 117

The two legendary masks. Deadpool and Wolverine. Battered-to-
shit and worse for wear, but intact. Sitting on the counter
casually, but no less iconic.

WADE (V.O.)
They save us right back.

BLACK.

CREDITS.

Then:
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary The scene begins with B-15 and Peter sharing a joyful kiss, with Peter expressing gratitude for her assistance before she mysteriously disappears through a time door. Later, at Wade's lively apartment gathering, Logan encourages Wade to confront his feelings for Vanessa. Wade reflects on his dedication to her, despite her uncertain feelings, culminating in a moment of camaraderie among friends. The scene blends light-hearted romance with deeper emotional undertones, concluding with a black screen and credits.
Strengths
  • Iconic character interactions
  • Emotional depth
  • Humorous moments
  • Satisfying conclusion
Weaknesses
  • Some may find the action sequences overwhelming

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene effectively combines action, humor, and emotion, providing a satisfying conclusion to the story with memorable moments and character interactions.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of bringing together iconic characters like Deadpool and Wolverine for a final showdown is engaging and well-executed, providing a fitting conclusion to their story arcs.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene effectively resolves key conflicts, moves the story forward, and provides closure for the characters, leading to a satisfying conclusion.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the superhero genre by focusing on the protagonist's personal relationships and internal struggles, in addition to the traditional heroics. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters are well-developed, with strong emotional arcs and memorable interactions that showcase their growth and relationships throughout the story.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo significant changes, particularly in their relationships and understanding of sacrifice, leading to growth and development by the end of the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to express his feelings for Vanessa and show her that he is willing to do anything for her, even if she doesn't want him. This reflects his deeper desire for love and acceptance.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to save the world and prove himself as a hero. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he's facing in the story.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene is high-stakes, with the characters facing a life-threatening situation and having to make difficult choices to save the world.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, but not overwhelming to the point of predictability. The audience is left unsure of how the characters' relationships and heroics will unfold, adding to the suspense and intrigue.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters facing the potential destruction of multiple universes and having to make a life-or-death decision to save the world.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by resolving key conflicts, setting up the final confrontation, and providing closure for the characters' arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it blends elements of romance, heroism, and time travel, creating a unique and unexpected narrative that keeps the audience guessing.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the idea of selflessness and sacrifice for the greater good. The protagonist's belief in saving the world clashes with Vanessa's possible rejection of him, highlighting the tension between personal desires and larger responsibilities.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, with moments of humor, heartbreak, and camaraderie that resonate with the audience and provide a satisfying conclusion to the characters' journeys.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and heartfelt, capturing the essence of each character and driving the emotional impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it combines action, romance, and humor in a seamless way, keeping the audience entertained and emotionally invested in the characters' relationships and struggles.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension, emotion, and action, creating a dynamic and engaging rhythm that keeps the audience invested in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue. The visual elements are well-crafted, enhancing the overall impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures a moment of joy and connection between B-15 and Peter, which serves as a nice contrast to the chaos that preceded it. However, the dialogue feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more depth to fully explore their relationship. The line about the 'Lemon thing' is humorous but lacks context for readers unfamiliar with the previous scenes, which may detract from its impact.
  • Wade's voiceover adds a reflective layer to the scene, but it could be more tightly integrated with the visuals. The transition from B-15 and Peter's kiss to Wade's gathering with friends feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the emotional resonance of Wade's realization about being a 'world-saving type.'
  • The use of the iconic masks of Deadpool and Wolverine at the end is a strong visual choice, symbolizing their enduring legacy and camaraderie. However, the line 'They save us right back' feels somewhat clichéd and could be rephrased to better reflect Wade's unique voice and humor.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally good, but the emotional weight of Wade's moment with Vanessa could be amplified. The dialogue exchange is brief and could benefit from more tension or vulnerability to highlight Wade's internal struggle and feelings for Vanessa.
Suggestions
  • Consider expanding the dialogue between B-15 and Peter to provide more context about their relationship and the 'Lemon thing.' This could help ground the scene and make their connection feel more substantial.
  • Enhance the transition between B-15 and Peter's moment and Wade's gathering by incorporating a visual or auditory cue that links the two scenes, such as a sound effect or a thematic element that carries over.
  • Rework the line 'They save us right back' to make it more original and reflective of Wade's character. Perhaps incorporate a humorous twist that aligns with his irreverent tone.
  • Add more emotional depth to Wade's interaction with Vanessa. Consider including a moment of hesitation or vulnerability that showcases his internal conflict about their relationship, making the scene more impactful.



Scene 60 - Rants and Revenge
118 INT. TVA - COMMAND CENTER - DAY 118

Deadpool is watching the bank of monitors in the TVA Control
Room. He’s focussed on one specific camera: The PRISON TRUCK
with Jonathan, Deadpool, and Wolverine.

It’s the footage from the CCTV camera inside the spherical
prison cell. It’s grainy, but we can clearly see and hear
Jonathan.

DEADPOOL
(to camera)
I’m tired of these absolutely vile
rumors that I got Johnny killed.
Let’s look at the tape.

JONATHAN *
In the void, you’re either food for *
Alioth...or you work for Her.

DEADPOOL
Go on, Jonathan.

JONATHAN
And I’ll tell you who “her” is...
Cassandra Nova. A megalomaniacal
psychotic asshole. A finger-lickin’
dead-inside Pixie slab of third
rate dime-store nut-milk and I’ll
tell you what she can do...

DEADPOOL
I’m listening...

JONATHAN
She can lick my goddamn cinnamon
ring clean and kick rocks all the
way to bald hell. In fact, I don’t
give a shit if she removes all of
my skin and pops me like some
nightmarish blood balloon.

(CONTINUED)
2ND BLUE REV. (04/17/24) 138.
118 (CONTINUED) 118
JONATHAN (CONT’D)
If the last thing I do in this god- *
forsaken cum-gutter of an existence
is light that fuck-fox on fire, I
still won’t die happy.

DEADPOOL
Holy shit, girl. You crazy.

JONATHAN
That’s right, Wade. I won’t be
happy til I’ve urinated on her
freshly barbecued corpse and husk-
fucked the charred remains while
gargling Juggernaut’s Jugger-nuts.

DEADPOOL
Wow.

JONATHAN
And you can quote me.

DEADPOOL
‘Kay.

Deadpool turns back to camera.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)
(to camera)
Got you, fuck face.

BLACK.
Genres: ["Action","Comedy","Sci-Fi"]

Summary In the TVA Command Center, Deadpool watches CCTV footage of a prison truck containing himself, Jonathan, and Wolverine. Jonathan passionately rants about his intense hatred for Cassandra Nova, using graphic and vulgar language to express his desire for revenge. Deadpool humorously encourages Jonathan's outrageous monologue, reacting with disbelief and amusement. The scene captures a darkly comedic tone as Deadpool ultimately addresses the camera, leaving the audience with a humorous remark.
Strengths
  • Sharp dialogue
  • Character dynamics
  • Humor
Weaknesses
  • Lack of physical action
  • Limited character interaction

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is highly engaging due to the witty dialogue and intense emotions displayed by the characters. The humor adds a unique touch, while the revelation about Cassandra Nova creates intrigue and sets up potential conflicts.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing Jonathan's extreme hatred towards Cassandra Nova through a monologue adds depth to the character dynamics. It sets the stage for potential conflicts and reveals important information about the antagonist.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through the revelation about Cassandra Nova and the characters' reactions to it. It adds layers to the overall story and sets up potential confrontations in the future.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases originality through its unconventional character interactions and dialogue. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and unexpected, adding a fresh perspective to familiar themes of revenge and conspiracy.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly Jonathan and Deadpool, are well-developed in this scene. Jonathan's extreme emotions and Deadpool's witty responses create a dynamic interaction that keeps the audience engaged.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, Jonathan's extreme emotions towards Cassandra Nova reveal a new side to his character. Deadpool's responses also showcase his wit and resilience.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to uncover the truth behind the rumors of Johnny's death and to understand the motivations of the characters involved. This reflects Deadpool's need for clarity and justice.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to gather information and evidence from the CCTV footage to support his investigation. This reflects the immediate challenge of uncovering a conspiracy.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Jonathan's hatred for Cassandra Nova and the potential consequences of his actions creates tension in the scene. Deadpool's reactions add another layer of conflict, setting up future confrontations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and motivations driving the characters' interactions. The audience is left unsure of the outcome, adding to the suspense and intrigue.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes are implied through Jonathan's extreme actions and emotions towards Cassandra Nova. The potential consequences of his actions add tension to the scene and raise the stakes for future events.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by revealing crucial information about Cassandra Nova and setting up potential conflicts. It adds depth to the narrative and sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' dialogue and actions. The dark humor and sharp wit add an element of surprise and intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' differing values and beliefs regarding power, revenge, and justice. Deadpool's sarcastic and irreverent attitude contrasts with Jonathan's intense and vengeful demeanor.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to outrage, keeping the audience engaged. Jonathan's intense monologue and Deadpool's reactions add depth to the characters and the overall narrative.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is a standout element in this scene, with Jonathan's monologue and Deadpool's responses being sharp, humorous, and impactful. The exchange between the characters drives the scene forward and reveals important character traits.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic dialogue, intense character interactions, and suspenseful atmosphere. The conflict and tension keep the audience invested in the unfolding events.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense through the characters' dialogue and actions. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and interested.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and intrigue.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Deadpool's irreverent humor and penchant for breaking the fourth wall, which is a hallmark of the character. However, the dialogue from Jonathan is excessively crude and may alienate some viewers. While Deadpool's world is known for its raunchy humor, there is a fine line between edgy and off-putting, and this scene leans heavily towards the latter.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. Jonathan's rant is lengthy and could benefit from being trimmed down or interspersed with more of Deadpool's reactions to maintain a dynamic flow. The humor can sometimes feel repetitive, and tightening the dialogue could enhance the comedic impact.
  • The transition from the previous scene to this one is abrupt. While the black screen serves as a clear break, it might be beneficial to include a brief visual or auditory cue that connects the two scenes more fluidly, helping the audience adjust to the change in tone and setting.
  • The use of the CCTV footage as a narrative device is clever, but it could be visually enhanced. Consider incorporating more visual elements that reflect the chaos of the previous scenes, such as flashes of action or sound bites from earlier moments, to create a more immersive experience.
  • While Deadpool's reactions to Jonathan's rants are humorous, they could be more varied. Adding different emotional responses—such as shock, laughter, or even a moment of seriousness—could deepen the character's complexity and keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider reducing the length of Jonathan's monologue to maintain audience engagement. Focus on the most impactful lines that convey his disdain for Cassandra Nova without overwhelming the viewer with excessive vulgarity.
  • Incorporate more visual elements or cutaways during Jonathan's rant to break up the dialogue and provide context or humor, such as flashbacks to previous encounters with Cassandra or reactions from Deadpool.
  • Enhance the pacing by alternating between Jonathan's dialogue and Deadpool's reactions more frequently. This could create a more dynamic rhythm and keep the audience engaged.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a humorous callback to earlier scenes or characters, which could serve as a reminder of the stakes and provide additional comedic relief.
  • Consider ending the scene with a stronger punchline or visual gag that ties back to the overarching narrative, leaving the audience with a memorable moment as the scene transitions to black.



Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:

deadpool

Deadpool is a witty, irreverent, and self-aware anti-hero characterized by his fast-paced, sarcastic speaking style filled with pop culture references and self-deprecating humor. He often breaks the fourth wall, engaging directly with the audience and using humor as a defense mechanism to cope with the absurdity of his world and his own insecurities. Despite his chaotic and impulsive nature, Deadpool displays moments of vulnerability and emotional depth, particularly when grappling with his past traumas and the desire for redemption. His unique abilities, including a regenerative healing factor and combat skills, complement his unpredictable behavior, making him a compelling and complex character who navigates dangerous situations with a blend of bravado and introspection.



wolverine

Wolverine is a gruff, tough, and brooding mutant with a troubled past and a strong sense of duty. He is characterized by his no-nonsense attitude, often speaking in a direct, blunt manner that reflects his hardened nature. His dialogue is typically terse and laced with cynicism, showcasing his inner turmoil and struggles with guilt and regret over past actions. Despite his tough exterior, Wolverine exhibits moments of vulnerability and introspection, particularly when reflecting on his failures and the people he has lost. He is fiercely loyal to his friends and allies, often displaying a protective nature, especially towards those he cares about. His complex personality is further highlighted by his contrasting interactions with other characters, such as the comedic Deadpool, which serve to emphasize his serious demeanor. Wolverine's distinct characteristics include his adamantium claws, regenerative healing factor, and a deep moral code that drives his actions, making him a conflicted yet heroic figure.



logan

Logan, also known as Wolverine, is a gruff and brooding mutant with a troubled past and a strong sense of honor and loyalty. He is a man of few words, often expressing his emotions through his actions rather than dialogue. Beneath his tough exterior lies a complex and tormented character, haunted by past actions and struggling with his identity as a hero. His blunt and direct speaking style reflects his no-nonsense attitude and internal struggles, revealing deep emotional wounds and regrets. Logan's presence serves as a poignant reminder of sacrifice and enduring legacy, particularly in his interactions with others, such as Deadpool, highlighting their complex relationship and shared history.



wade

Wade Wilson, also known as Deadpool, is a complex and multifaceted character who embodies a blend of wit, sarcasm, and emotional vulnerability. He is portrayed as a rebellious anti-hero with a quick wit and a penchant for breaking the fourth wall, often using humor as a defense mechanism to mask his inner struggles and insecurities. His dialogue is characterized by a fast-paced, irreverent style filled with pop culture references and self-deprecating humor, which serves to deflect from his deeper emotional needs. Beneath his tough exterior lies a character grappling with feelings of rejection and a desperate desire for validation and purpose, particularly in his aspiration to join the Avengers. Wade's relationships with his friends reveal a heart of gold, showcasing his capacity for care and loyalty despite his often confrontational demeanor. His journey reflects a balance of confidence and vulnerability, making him a compelling and relatable anti-hero.



mr. paradox

Mr. Paradox is a calm, collected, and enigmatic representative of the Time Variance Authority (TVA). He possesses a unique blend of authority and laid-back demeanor, which creates an intriguing contrast to his bureaucratic role. His speaking style is cryptic and filled with dry humor, often hinting at a larger narrative while maintaining an air of mystery. Mr. Paradox is knowledgeable about the Sacred Timeline and serves as a guide through the complexities of time. He embodies a determined and resourceful nature, often displaying annoyance and concern in his interactions, particularly with chaotic characters like Deadpool. His authoritative and direct communication is laced with sarcasm, adding depth to his character and tension to the scenes. Despite his calm exterior, he is ultimately focused on maintaining control and order within the universe, making him a formidable foil to more chaotic personalities.



cassandra nova

Cassandra Nova is a powerful and enigmatic antagonist with the ability to manipulate minds and reality. She exudes an aura of confidence and control, using her intelligence and charm to unsettle those around her. Her speaking style is cold, calculated, and commanding, often laced with a hint of menace and sadistic pleasure. As a cunning manipulator, she revels in chaos and deception, presenting a significant threat to the heroes. Her interactions, particularly with Wolverine, are probing and insightful, pushing him to confront his inner demons while showcasing her authority and superiority. Cassandra's demeanor is marked by a sense of darkness and danger, making her a formidable presence throughout the feature.



CharacterArcCritiqueSuggestions
deadpool Throughout the screenplay, Deadpool embarks on a journey of self-discovery and redemption. Initially, he uses humor and chaos to mask his deeper insecurities and emotional pain. As the story progresses, he faces significant moral dilemmas that challenge his self-centered nature. In pivotal moments, he learns the value of sacrifice and loyalty, ultimately leading him to confront his past and make selfless choices for the greater good. By the end of the feature, Deadpool evolves from a chaotic mercenary focused on personal gain to a courageous hero willing to sacrifice himself for his friends and the world, showcasing his growth and emotional complexity. While Deadpool's character arc is engaging and showcases his growth, it risks becoming predictable if not handled with care. The reliance on humor as a coping mechanism can overshadow the emotional depth that the character is capable of displaying. Additionally, the balance between humor and serious moments needs to be carefully managed to ensure that the audience connects with his vulnerabilities without losing the essence of his irreverent personality. To improve Deadpool's character arc, consider incorporating more nuanced moments where his humor clashes with genuine emotional experiences, allowing for deeper introspection. Introduce secondary characters who challenge his worldview and force him to confront his flaws more directly. Additionally, explore the consequences of his actions more thoroughly, emphasizing the impact of his choices on those around him. This could create a richer narrative that highlights his growth while maintaining the humor that defines him.
wolverine Throughout the screenplay, Wolverine undergoes a significant character arc that sees him transition from a brooding, conflicted loner haunted by his past to a more selfless and heroic figure willing to embrace his role as a protector. Initially resistant to forming connections, he grapples with guilt and regret over his failures, particularly in relation to his friends. As the story progresses, he learns to confront his inner demons and accept the sacrifices necessary for the greater good. This culminates in a pivotal moment where he must choose between his own safety and the well-being of others, ultimately leading to a selfless act that solidifies his growth and reinforces his sense of duty and honor. While Wolverine's character arc is compelling, it risks becoming predictable due to the common trope of the tortured hero finding redemption. The emotional depth and complexity of his character are well-established, but the arc could benefit from more nuanced interactions and challenges that push him beyond his typical struggles. Additionally, the reliance on his past failures as a driving force may overshadow other aspects of his personality, limiting the exploration of his growth in new directions. To improve Wolverine's character arc, consider introducing more diverse challenges that force him to confront not only his past but also his present relationships and responsibilities. Incorporating moments where he must rely on others or accept help could add depth to his character and highlight his growth. Additionally, exploring themes of forgiveness—both of himself and others—could provide a richer emotional landscape. Finally, integrating more humor and lighter moments, especially in interactions with characters like Deadpool, could create a more balanced portrayal and showcase Wolverine's ability to adapt and change in response to his environment.
logan Throughout the screenplay, Logan's character arc follows a journey from isolation and self-doubt to acceptance and redemption. Initially, he is portrayed as a reluctant hero, burdened by his past and hesitant to connect with others. As the story progresses, he confronts his regrets and learns to embrace vulnerability, ultimately finding strength in his relationships. By the climax, Logan makes a noble sacrifice, solidifying his legacy and demonstrating his growth from a solitary figure to a selfless protector, leaving behind a lasting impact on those he cares about. While Logan's character arc is compelling, it risks falling into familiar tropes of the 'gruff hero with a heart of gold.' The emotional depth is present, but the arc could benefit from more nuanced interactions that challenge his beliefs and force him to confront his past in a more dynamic way. Additionally, the resolution may feel rushed if not adequately developed, potentially undermining the emotional weight of his sacrifice. To improve Logan's character arc, consider incorporating more moments of vulnerability that allow him to express his internal struggles verbally, rather than solely through actions. Introduce secondary characters who challenge his worldview and push him to confront his past in a more meaningful way. Additionally, ensure that the climax and resolution are well-paced, allowing for a gradual build-up to his sacrifice, which will enhance the emotional impact and provide a satisfying conclusion to his journey.
wade Throughout the screenplay, Wade Wilson's character arc follows a trajectory of self-discovery and acceptance. Initially, he is portrayed as a sarcastic and ambitious anti-hero, using humor to mask his emotional pain and insecurities. As the story progresses, Wade faces various challenges that force him to confront his vulnerabilities and the reasons behind his desire for validation. Key moments of rejection and conflict with his friends lead him to realize that true worth comes from within and that he does not need external validation to find purpose. By the climax, Wade learns to embrace his flaws and accept himself, ultimately choosing to fight for his friends and what he believes in rather than seeking approval from others. This transformation culminates in a moment of genuine connection with his friends, solidifying his growth from a self-deprecating mercenary to a more self-aware and emotionally resilient individual. While Wade's character arc is engaging and showcases a journey of self-discovery, it risks becoming predictable due to the reliance on familiar tropes of the anti-hero genre. The humor, while a defining trait, can sometimes overshadow the emotional depth of his character, making it challenging for audiences to fully connect with his vulnerabilities. Additionally, the pacing of his emotional growth may feel rushed, especially if key moments of introspection and conflict are not given adequate screen time. To enhance Wade's character arc, consider incorporating more nuanced moments of vulnerability that allow audiences to see his emotional struggles in a deeper light. This could involve flashbacks or dream sequences that reveal his past traumas and insecurities, providing context for his behavior. Additionally, allowing for slower, more reflective scenes could give weight to his emotional growth, making his eventual acceptance of self feel more earned. Introducing a mentor or a pivotal relationship that challenges his worldview could also add depth to his journey, providing a contrasting perspective that encourages Wade to confront his flaws more directly. Finally, balancing humor with moments of genuine emotional connection will help create a more rounded character that resonates with audiences.
mr. paradox Throughout the screenplay, Mr. Paradox undergoes a significant transformation. Initially, he is portrayed as a detached bureaucrat, focused solely on maintaining the Sacred Timeline and enforcing TVA rules. However, as he encounters Deadpool's unpredictable nature and the overwhelming power of Cassandra Nova, he begins to question the rigidity of the TVA's approach to time and order. This internal conflict leads him to develop a more nuanced understanding of chaos and its place in the universe. By the climax, Mr. Paradox embraces a more flexible mindset, recognizing that sometimes, chaos can lead to unexpected solutions. His arc concludes with him taking a stand against the oppressive nature of the TVA, advocating for a balance between order and chaos, ultimately reshaping his role within the organization. While Mr. Paradox's character is intriguing and multifaceted, his arc could benefit from clearer motivations and emotional stakes. The transition from a bureaucratic enforcer to a more flexible thinker feels somewhat abrupt and could use more buildup. Additionally, his interactions with other characters, particularly Deadpool, could be expanded to showcase his internal struggle more vividly. As it stands, his character risks being overshadowed by the more chaotic elements of the story, which may dilute the impact of his transformation. To improve Mr. Paradox's character arc, consider incorporating more backstory that explains his initial adherence to TVA rules and the reasons behind his cynicism. This could involve flashbacks or dialogue that reveals past experiences that shaped his worldview. Additionally, create pivotal moments where he faces moral dilemmas that challenge his beliefs, allowing for a gradual evolution rather than a sudden shift. Strengthening his relationship with Deadpool could also enhance the dynamic, providing opportunities for growth through conflict and collaboration. Finally, ensure that his final stance against the TVA is not only a reaction to external pressures but also a culmination of his personal journey, making his transformation feel earned and impactful.
cassandra nova Cassandra Nova begins as a seemingly omnipotent antagonist, using her powers to manipulate and control others, particularly targeting Wolverine. As the story progresses, her hidden agenda is gradually revealed, showcasing her motivations rooted in a desire for power and revenge. However, as she faces increasing resistance from the heroes, her confidence begins to wane, leading to moments of vulnerability that expose her deeper fears and insecurities. In the climax, she confronts the consequences of her manipulations, ultimately leading to a moment of reckoning where she must choose between her thirst for power and the possibility of redemption. The arc concludes with her either embracing her darker nature or facing a transformative moment that alters her path. Cassandra Nova's character arc is compelling, but it risks becoming one-dimensional if her motivations are not explored in depth. While her manipulative nature is intriguing, the screenplay should delve into her backstory to provide context for her actions and desires. Additionally, her interactions with other characters could benefit from more emotional depth, allowing audiences to see the complexity of her character beyond her villainous facade. Without these elements, she may come across as a typical antagonist rather than a nuanced character. To improve Cassandra Nova's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or dialogue that reveals her past experiences and the events that shaped her into the manipulative figure she is. This could create empathy and understanding for her motivations. Additionally, introducing a subplot that explores her relationships with other characters could add layers to her personality, showcasing her vulnerabilities and internal conflicts. Finally, allowing her to experience moments of doubt or regret could create a more dynamic arc, making her eventual choices more impactful and resonant with the audience.
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Pattern Explanation
Tone Consistency and High StakesScenes maintain a consistent humorous tone while achieving high stakes, particularly in scenes 12, 13, and 17, which all score 9 in high stakes and overall grade. This suggests that the author effectively balances humor with tension, enhancing engagement.
Emotional Impact vs. Dialogue QualityScenes with high emotional impact (scores of 9) often correlate with high dialogue scores (9 or 10), particularly in scenes 5, 37, and 54. This indicates that the author’s dialogue contributes significantly to the emotional resonance of the scenes.
Character Changes and Emotional DepthScenes that exhibit significant character changes (scores of 9) also tend to have higher emotional impact scores (9), as seen in scenes 5, 37, and 54. This suggests that character development is closely tied to the emotional stakes of the narrative.
Conflict and Story ProgressionScenes that effectively move the story forward (scores of 9) also show a strong correlation with conflict scores (8 or 9), particularly in scenes 12, 13, and 54. This indicates that the author successfully integrates conflict to propel the narrative.
Humor and IntensityScenes that blend humor with intensity (scores of 9) are prevalent in the latter half of the screenplay, especially in scenes 43, 44, and 47. This suggests a strategic use of humor to diffuse tension while maintaining engagement.
Dramatic Elements and Overall GradeScenes that incorporate dramatic elements (scores of 9) tend to achieve higher overall grades, particularly in scenes 40, 41, and 54. This indicates that the author’s use of drama enhances the overall quality of the screenplay.
Reflective Tone and Lower Emotional ImpactScenes with a reflective tone (scores of 7 or lower in emotional impact) such as scenes 9, 29, and 30 show a tendency for lower emotional engagement. This suggests that while reflective moments are present, they may not resonate as strongly with the audience.
Character Changes and Dialogue QualityScenes that exhibit significant character changes often have high dialogue scores, particularly in scenes 5, 37, and 54. This indicates that the author effectively uses dialogue to convey character evolution.


Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

The screenplay demonstrates a strong foundation in blending action, humor, and character development. The writer consistently creates engaging scenes with dynamic dialogue and memorable moments. However, there's a recurring need for deeper character exploration and a more nuanced approach to emotional complexity and conflict. While the writer effectively utilizes humor, the integration of more profound emotional depth and thematic richness would elevate the overall impact of the screenplay.

Key Improvement Areas

Character Development
Many scene analyses highlight the need for richer character backstories and motivations. While the characters are engaging, their depth and internal conflicts could be significantly developed to create more resonant and complex figures.
Dialogue and Emotional Depth
While the dialogue is often described as 'witty' and 'engaging,' suggestions frequently advise exploring more nuanced emotional beats and subtext within character interactions. Strengthening the emotional core of the dialogue will add layers of complexity and authenticity.
Conflict and Stakes
Several scene analyses recommend enhancing external conflict and opposition to increase tension and dramatic stakes. While the scenes are entertaining, exploring higher-stakes situations and deeper conflicts will increase the emotional investment of the audience.
Pacing and Structure
Although pacing is generally praised as fast-paced and engaging, a few suggestions highlight the potential to refine pacing, particularly within action sequences, by studying examples from established action-comedy screenwriters and filmmakers.

Suggestions

Type Suggestion Rationale
Book 'Save the Cat!' by Blake Snyder This book provides a valuable framework for understanding screenplay structure, character arcs, and creating compelling narratives. It directly addresses several recurring improvement suggestions related to character development, plot structure, and overall narrative impact.
Book 'The Art of Dramatic Writing' by Lajos Egri This classic text offers in-depth insights into character development, focusing on motivations, desires, and conflicts. This will help the writer create more complex and emotionally resonant characters.
Screenplay Study Analyze screenplays by Aaron Sorkin, Quentin Tarantino, Joss Whedon, and Edgar Wright. These writers excel in different areas—Sorkin for sharp dialogue and character interactions, Tarantino for unique narrative structures and memorable dialogue, Whedon and Wright for blending humor and action—providing a diverse range of styles to learn from.
Video Study Watch behind-the-scenes footage of action films and interviews with filmmakers like Christopher Nolan, David Fincher, and Edgar Wright. This provides valuable insights into directing, action choreography, visual storytelling, and pacing, all of which are relevant for enhancing the impact of the action sequences and overall visual appeal of the screenplay.
Course A course on writing effective dialogue in screenplays. This will refine the writer's skill in crafting sharp, impactful, and emotionally resonant dialogue that strengthens character development and advances the narrative.
Stories Similar to this one

Story Explanation
Deadpool (2016) The original Deadpool film shares a similar tone, humor, and fourth-wall-breaking narrative style. Both stories feature Deadpool's irreverent personality, self-awareness, and chaotic action sequences, making them a natural comparison.
Logan (2017) Logan explores themes of legacy, loss, and redemption, much like the screenplay's focus on Deadpool's relationship with Wolverine. Both stories delve into the emotional weight of their characters' pasts and the impact of their actions on their futures.
Rick and Morty (TV Series) This animated series features a similar blend of dark humor, sci-fi elements, and absurd adventures. The show's use of alternate realities and time travel parallels Deadpool's journey through different timelines and universes.
The Lego Movie (2014) The Lego Movie employs a playful tone and self-referential humor, akin to Deadpool's style. Both narratives involve characters navigating a chaotic world while breaking the fourth wall and addressing the audience directly.
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) This film combines humor, action, and a ragtag group of misfits, similar to Deadpool's ensemble. Both stories feature a blend of comedic moments and emotional depth, with characters facing personal challenges while saving the universe.
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) This animated film explores multiple dimensions and features various versions of Spider-Man, paralleling Deadpool's encounters with different Wolverines. Both stories celebrate the multiverse concept while maintaining a humorous and heartfelt tone.
The Umbrella Academy (TV Series) This series features a dysfunctional family of superheroes dealing with personal issues and a looming apocalypse, similar to Deadpool's chaotic adventures with Wolverine. Both narratives blend humor with darker themes of loss and redemption.
Zombieland (2009) Zombieland combines horror and comedy, featuring a group of characters navigating a post-apocalyptic world. The film's humor, character dynamics, and self-awareness resonate with the tone and style of Deadpool's screenplay.
The Boys (TV Series) This series presents a darkly comedic take on superheroes, exploring themes of morality and power. The irreverent humor and critique of superhero tropes align with Deadpool's narrative style and thematic elements.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope Trope Details Trope Explanation
Fourth Wall BreakDeadpool frequently addresses the audience directly, commenting on his situation and the events unfolding.This trope involves a character acknowledging the audience's presence, often leading to comedic moments. An example is in 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off,' where Ferris speaks directly to the camera, sharing his thoughts and plans.
The Chosen OneWade is presented as someone special who has been chosen for a higher purpose by the TVA.This trope involves a character being singled out for a significant destiny or mission. An example is Neo in 'The Matrix,' who is prophesied to be 'The One' who will save humanity.
Buddy CopThe dynamic between Deadpool and Wolverine showcases their contrasting personalities as they team up.This trope features two characters with opposing traits working together, often leading to comedic situations. An example is 'Lethal Weapon,' where the serious cop and the reckless cop create a humorous partnership.
Grave DiggingDeadpool digs up Wolverine's grave, reflecting on his past and the idea of resurrection.This trope often symbolizes a character confronting death or loss. An example is in 'The Lion King,' where Simba visits his father's grave, leading to a moment of reflection.
The MentorWolverine serves as a mentor figure to Deadpool, despite their chaotic relationship.This trope involves a character guiding another, often leading to growth. An example is Mr. Miyagi in 'The Karate Kid,' who teaches Daniel about martial arts and life.
Time TravelThe plot involves characters traveling through time, leading to various comedic and chaotic situations.This trope allows characters to explore different timelines and scenarios. An example is 'Back to the Future,' where Marty McFly travels to the past and alters events.
The Power of FriendshipWade's relationships with his friends are central to his motivations and actions.This trope emphasizes the importance of friendship in overcoming challenges. An example is 'The Lord of the Rings,' where the fellowship's bond helps them face great evil.
Comic ReliefDeadpool's humor and antics provide comic relief throughout the screenplay.This trope involves a character or situation that lightens the mood in a serious narrative. An example is Dobby in 'Harry Potter,' who provides humor amidst darker themes.
The Anti-HeroDeadpool embodies the anti-hero archetype, often acting selfishly while still being a protagonist.This trope features a protagonist who lacks traditional heroic qualities. An example is Tony Stark in 'Iron Man,' who is flawed but ultimately fights for good.


Theme Theme Details Themee Explanation
Finding Meaning and PurposeWade's constant search for a place to belong, his desire to join the Avengers, and his ultimate acceptance of his role in saving his universe. His self-deprecating humor masks a deep-seated need to matter.This theme explores the universal human desire for significance and purpose. Wade's journey is one of self-discovery, as he grapples with his insecurities and ultimately finds meaning in his unique abilities and relationships.
Strengthening Finding Meaning and Purpose:
Suggestion Type How to Strengthen the Theme
Character Arc Deepen Deadpool's initial desire to 'matter' (seen in the job interview) by explicitly linking it to his feeling of purposelessness after Logan's death. His chaotic actions throughout the film should be shown as a misguided attempt to find meaning, a frantic search for a new 'purpose' in the absence of his friend and previous chaotic motivation. Have him gradually realize that true meaning isn't found in grand gestures but in the connections he has with his friends and the small acts of kindness (and occasional mayhem) that he performs for them.
Story Arc Weave a consistent narrative thread highlighting the contrast between the 'meaningless' chaos of Deadpool's early actions (e.g., his initial battle with the TVA) and the slowly discovered profound meaning of his relationships and actions as he matures. This arc culminates in his final act of self-sacrifice, which, even if seemingly pointless, is ultimately an act of profound love and selflessness for his friends, proving that finding meaning is not always about grand acts but about the depth of one's connections.
Dialogue - Scene 29 Enhance the scene in the abandoned diner by having Wolverine and Deadpool engage in a deeper conversation about their shared experiences and struggles to find purpose. Have Wolverine reveal his own disillusionment with heroism and his past failures, mirroring Deadpool's internal conflict. This shared vulnerability will strengthen the theme of finding meaning in unexpected places and the importance of friendship in overcoming despair.
Visual Use recurring visual motifs to subtly reinforce the theme of finding meaning. For example, consistently show Deadpool's mask as a symbol of his hiding from his vulnerabilities and his eventual removal of it as a representation of his growing emotional honesty and acceptance. Use the changing landscapes he visits as metaphors for his emotional journey, from the snowy wasteland representing his initial isolation to the vibrant environments symbolizing his blossoming friendships and acceptance of his true self.
Action - Scene 54, 55 Reframe Deadpool's final act of self-sacrifice. Instead of making it purely about saving the multiverse, emphasize his decision to sacrifice himself for his friends, showing that finding meaning is deeply intertwined with his love for them. The visual of him reaching towards the plasma tube, even with debilitating pain, can be a powerful symbol of his dedication to something bigger than his own survival— his friends and relationships.
Friendship and CamaraderieThe strong bonds Wade shares with his friends, Blind Al, Dopinder, Colossus, Vanessa, and his newfound alliance with Wolverine and other characters in the Void. The birthday party scene, and the final scenes in Wade's apartment showcase this theme.The importance of human connection and the power of supportive relationships in overcoming challenges. The film highlights the value of friendships that transcend differences and offer unwavering support.
Redemption and Second ChancesWade's attempt to atone for his past mistakes, his willingness to sacrifice himself for his friends, and Logan's eventual acceptance of his role in the larger universe despite his past failures.The possibility of overcoming past failures and finding forgiveness, both for oneself and others. This theme explores the idea that mistakes don't define a person, and that there is always a chance for redemption.
The Nature of Identity and Self-AcceptanceWade's constant struggle with his identity as Deadpool, his desire to shed the mask and be accepted for who he is, and his ultimate embrace of his unique qualities. The scenes with Wade and Vanessa address this.This theme explores the challenges of self-discovery and the importance of accepting one's true self, flaws and all. Wade's journey is one of learning to love himself for who he is, rather than seeking external validation.
The Absurdity of Life and the Power of HumorThe film's meta-commentary, constant breaking of the fourth wall, and reliance on dark humor to address serious themes. This is present throughout the film.The use of humor as a coping mechanism for dealing with existential dread and the unpredictable nature of life. The film uses humor to make profound statements about life and death.



Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site Description
Studio Binder Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts
Voice Analysis
Summary: The writer's voice is irreverent, darkly comedic, and self-aware. It blends witty banter, pop culture references, and fourth-wall breaks with moments of genuine emotional depth and vulnerability. The narrative is fast-paced and action-packed, often punctuated by unexpected twists and turns. The direction emphasizes dynamic visuals and comedic staging.
Voice Contribution The writer's voice contributes to the script by establishing a unique tone that balances dark humor with emotional sincerity. This blend creates a compelling contrast, adding layers of complexity to both the characters and the overarching themes of identity, redemption, and the absurdity of life and death. The fast-paced narrative and dynamic direction keep the audience engaged, while the witty dialogue and fourth-wall breaks foster a sense of intimacy and playful connection with the characters.
Best Representation Scene 3 - Deadpool's Chaotic Farewell
Best Scene Explanation This scene best encapsulates the writer's unique voice because it perfectly balances the key elements of their style: witty dialogue (Deadpool's negotiations with the Minutemen and his conversation with Logan's skeleton), dark humor (the absurdity of the situation, Logan's decayed state), emotional depth (Deadpool's longing for Logan), and unexpected twists (the arrival of the Minutemen, the upbeat soundtrack). The scene also showcases the writer's knack for dynamic direction, as indicated by the stage direction 'set to the upbeat tune of NSync's 'Bye, Bye, Bye.'' It's a microcosm of the entire screenplay's approach: blending the serious and silly, the emotional and the absurd, to create a compelling and unique cinematic experience.
Originality
  • Overall originality score: 9
  • Overall originality explanation: The screenplay showcases a high level of originality through its inventive blend of humor, action, and emotional depth. It successfully subverts traditional superhero tropes by incorporating meta-commentary, unique character dynamics, and unexpected plot twists. The use of various Deadpool variants, the exploration of complex themes such as sacrifice and identity, and the integration of pop culture references contribute to its distinctiveness. The screenplay also effectively balances absurdity with genuine emotional moments, making it stand out in the superhero genre.
  • Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the screenplay are the introduction of multiple Deadpool variants, including Dogpool and Kidpool, and the humorous yet poignant exploration of Deadpool's relationships with characters like Wolverine and Vanessa. Additionally, the concept of the Time Variance Authority and the use of a magical ring to manipulate timelines add layers of originality to the narrative.
  • Overall unpredictability score: 8.5
  • Overall unpredictability explanation: The screenplay maintains a strong sense of unpredictability through its unexpected character interactions and plot developments. The frequent subversion of expectations, such as Deadpool's willingness to sacrifice himself and the chaotic arrival of various Deadpool variants, keeps the audience engaged. The emotional stakes are heightened by the characters' complex relationships and the looming threat of Cassandra Nova, making it difficult to predict the outcomes of their confrontations. The blend of humor and serious themes further enhances the unpredictability of the narrative.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal GoalsThroughout the screenplay, the protagonist's internal goals evolve from seeking validation and acceptance to grappling with guilt, regret, and ultimately choosing sacrifice for the greater good. As Deadpool navigates his chaotic identity, he learns to confront his past actions and find purpose in protecting his friends.
External Goals The protagonist's external goals evolve from a focus on chaotic adventures and fun escapades to a more serious mission of saving timelines and combating existential threats. This change reflects a transition from self-serving motivations to a commitment to a larger cause.
Philosophical Conflict The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around the struggle between personal fulfillment and the responsibilities of being a hero, exemplified by Deadpool's chaotic desire for adventure versus the weight of sacrifice and the need for connection with his friends.


Character Development Contribution: The evolution of goals and conflicts significantly contributes to character development by guiding Deadpool through a journey of self-discovery, highlighting his vulnerabilities and leading him to embrace a more altruistic view of heroism.

Narrative Structure Contribution: These elements are central to the narrative structure as they drive the plot forward, setting up challenges that force Deadpool to confront his past, navigate relationships, and ultimately make sacrifices for the greater good.

Thematic Depth Contribution: The interplay between goals and conflicts deepens the screenplay's thematic exploration of redemption, the complexity of identity, and the dynamics of friendship, emphasizing that heroism often comes at a personal cost.


Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site Description
Creative Screenwriting How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?
World Building
  • Physical environment: The screenplay's world is diverse, ranging from the snowy wilderness of North Dakota, a post-apocalyptic desert wasteland reminiscent of Mad Max, a surreal and fantastical 'Void', a seedy Canadian bar, a swanky Madripoor casino, a high-tech TVA command center, cluttered apartments, a skeletal arena, and various other locations. The environments often reflect the emotional or narrative tone of the scene. For example, the desolate wasteland mirrors the characters' sense of loss and the skeletal arena emphasizes the high stakes of their conflict.
  • Culture: The culture is a blend of modern-day sensibilities, superhero archetypes, and elements from various Marvel properties (X-Men, Avengers). There's a strong emphasis on dark humor and irreverence, alongside moments of genuine emotion and vulnerability. Iconic figures from classic Hollywood (Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd) are referenced, contrasting with the futuristic technology and superhero lore. The overall cultural tone is one of self-aware parody and heartfelt sincerity.
  • Society: Societal structures are equally varied. We see the hierarchical structure of the TVA, the chaotic lawlessness of the wasteland, the mundane reality of a car dealership, the intimate bonds of friendship in Wade's apartment, and the grim reality of a world where mutants are a significant, often persecuted, part of society. Deadpool’s journey highlights the tension between fitting into a conventional society and embracing his unique superhero identity.
  • Technology: Technology ranges from highly advanced time travel technology (Time Doors, TempPads, Time Ripper) and surveillance systems within the TVA, to the mundane technology of a stapler and a Kia Carnival minivan. The contrast between these levels of technology underscores the absurdity and unique narrative of the film.
  • Characters influence: The world profoundly shapes the characters. Deadpool's actions are often driven by his desire for acceptance, to find a place where he fits in, and to honour Logan’s memory, while constantly grappling with the contrast between his chaotic nature and the responsibilities thrust upon him. The various versions of Wolverine reflect his internal struggles and his evolving identity. The post-apocalyptic setting forces all characters to confront their vulnerabilities and limits. The TVA's structured environment contrasts sharply with the characters' freedom, prompting rebellion and conflict.
  • Narrative contribution: The diverse settings and societal structures drive the narrative forward. The time travel element allows for numerous plot points, character introductions, and comedic opportunities. The threat to the multiverse creates a high-stakes conflict that motivates the characters' actions and propels the plot. The shift between the mundane and the fantastical maintains narrative dynamism.
  • Thematic depth contribution: The world-building enhances the thematic depth by exploring themes of identity, redemption, friendship, loss, and the search for meaning. The contrast between different societies (TVA, Wasteland, normal world) forces the characters to confront their own values and beliefs. The interplay between humor and intense situations highlights the fragility of life and the importance of relationships. The multiverse concept allows for exploration of the different ways the characters could have lived and how their actions shape their realities.
Story Engine Analysis

central conflict

The central conflict revolves around Deadpool's quest to save his universe from destruction after the death of Wolverine, while also dealing with the manipulative powers of Cassandra Nova and the Time Variance Authority.

primary motivations

  • Deadpool's desire to honor Wolverine's legacy and restore his universe.
  • Wolverine's struggle with his past failures and the need for redemption.
  • Cassandra Nova's ambition to destroy multiple universes using the Time Ripper.

catalysts

  • Deadpool's discovery that Wolverine is not truly dead.
  • The arrival of the TVA Minutemen to arrest Deadpool.
  • Cassandra Nova's manipulation of the Time Ripper and her confrontation with Deadpool and Wolverine.

barriers

  • The TVA's strict regulations and the threat of arrest.
  • Cassandra Nova's overwhelming power and control over the situation.
  • Wolverine's initial reluctance to help Deadpool due to his own guilt.

themes

  • Redemption and the struggle to overcome past mistakes.
  • The importance of friendship and camaraderie in the face of adversity.
  • The consequences of power and the moral dilemmas associated with it.

stakes

The stakes include the survival of Deadpool's universe, the potential destruction of multiple timelines, and the personal redemption of both Deadpool and Wolverine.

uniqueness factor

The story uniquely blends humor, action, and emotional depth, utilizing Deadpool's fourth-wall-breaking narrative style to engage the audience in a meta-commentary on superhero tropes.

audience hook

The main audience hook lies in the comedic interplay between Deadpool and Wolverine, their dynamic relationship, and the high-stakes adventure that combines humor with heartfelt moments.

paradoxical engine or bisociation

The paradoxical engine is the juxtaposition of Deadpool's chaotic, irreverent nature against the serious, high-stakes world of the TVA and Cassandra Nova, creating a unique blend of humor and drama.

paradoxical engine or bisociation 2

Another aspect of bisociation is the contrast between Deadpool's desire for acceptance and heroism against his self-sabotaging behavior, highlighting the tension between personal aspirations and the reality of his actions.


Engine: Claude

Screenplay Rating:

Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' is a highly entertaining and visually striking mashup of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the Fox X-Men universe. The story follows Deadpool's quest to find the Wolverine and save his own universe from destruction, leading to a high-stakes adventure that blends humor, action, and heartfelt character moments. With a strong ensemble cast, clever dialogue, and a compelling narrative that explores themes of heroism, legacy, and the power of friendship, the screenplay delivers a fresh and engaging take on the superhero genre.

Strengths
  • The opening sequence in Wade's office with Harold Lloyd establishes the character's motivations and desire to become an Avenger in a compelling and humorous way. high ( Scene 5 (6)   )
  • The dialogue between Deadpool and Wolverine in the Honda Odyssey is sharply written, providing insight into both characters while also generating great moments of humor and tension. high ( Scene 14 (28)   )
  • The epic battle sequence in the Giant Skeletal Arena is a visually stunning and choreographed set piece that showcases the diverse abilities and personalities of the various Deadpool and X-Men variants. high ( Scene 40 (72)   )
  • The ending, where Deadpool and Wolverine part ways, is an emotional and bittersweet moment that resonates with the character arcs and their respective journeys. high ( Scene 46 (89)   )
  • The overall character development of Deadpool and Wolverine, exploring their personal struggles and growth, is a key strength of the screenplay. high
Areas of Improvement
  • The exposition-heavy dialogue in the scene where Mr. Paradox explains the concept of the Sacred Timeline and the TVA's role could be streamlined to improve the pacing. medium ( Scene 11 (17)   )
  • The scene where Cassandra Nova is introduced could be tightened to maintain the narrative momentum and avoid any potential lulls in the action. medium ( Scene 23 (36)   )
  • While the screenplay effectively balances humor and dramatic beats, there could be opportunities to further explore the emotional arcs of the supporting characters, such as Vanessa and the members of the 'Legacy Heroes' group. medium
MissingElements
  • The screenplay could potentially benefit from more insight into the larger sociopolitical or cosmic implications of the events, beyond the personal stakes for the characters. Providing a broader context could elevate the stakes and the significance of the story. medium
NotablePoints
  • The inclusion of Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd as characters in the opening sequence is a unique and stylistic choice that establishes the screenplay's playful and meta-textual approach. high ( Scene 5 (6)   )
  • The sequence where Cassandra Nova's powers and connection to Xavier are revealed adds an intriguing layer of depth and complexity to the narrative. high ( Scene 27 (41)   )
  • The confrontation between Deadpool and the various Deadpool variants is a standout sequence that showcases the screenplay's sense of humor and self-awareness. high ( Scene 49 (96)   )
Blind Spots
  • Diversity and Representation While the screenplay features a diverse ensemble of characters, including Deadpool variants and the 'Legacy Heroes' group, there could be opportunities to further explore the perspectives and backstories of these supporting characters, particularly the female and non-white members of the ensemble. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Overuse of Exposition In certain scenes, such as the one with Mr. Paradox explaining the TVA and the Sacred Timeline, the screenplay relies heavily on exposition to convey information. This could be streamlined to improve the pacing and flow of the narrative. medium

Engine: GPT4

Screenplay Rating:

Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' successfully blends humor, action, and emotional depth, showcasing the character arcs of both Deadpool and Wolverine. The narrative is engaging, with a strong focus on themes of redemption and friendship. However, it could benefit from tighter pacing in certain sections and a more cohesive resolution to character arcs. Overall, it stands out as a compelling addition to the superhero genre.

Strengths
  • The opening scenes effectively establish the tone and humor of the screenplay, drawing the audience in with Deadpool's witty voiceover and meta-commentary. high ( Scene 1 (1)   Scene 2 (2)   )
  • The action sequences are well-crafted and visually engaging, showcasing the unique abilities of both characters while maintaining a humorous undertone. high ( Scene 4 (4)   )
  • The emotional depth in the character arcs, particularly in the interactions between Deadpool and Wolverine, adds a layer of complexity that resonates with the audience. high ( Scene 60 (112)   )
  • The screenplay effectively utilizes supporting characters to enhance the narrative, providing both comic relief and emotional stakes. medium ( Scene 20 (30)   )
  • The resolution ties back to the themes of friendship and redemption, providing a satisfying conclusion to the character arcs. high ( Scene 110 (110)   )
Areas of Improvement
  • Some scenes feel rushed, particularly during transitions between action and emotional beats, which can disrupt the overall pacing. medium ( Scene 5 (6)   )
  • While the humor is a strength, there are moments where it overshadows the emotional stakes, potentially alienating viewers looking for depth. medium ( Scene 4 (5)   )
  • Certain character arcs, particularly for supporting characters, feel underdeveloped and could benefit from more exploration. medium ( Scene 20 (31)   )
  • The resolution could be more cohesive, as some plot threads feel unresolved or rushed, leaving the audience wanting more clarity. high ( Scene 60 (115)   )
  • The stakes in certain action sequences could be heightened to create a greater sense of urgency and tension. medium ( Scene 4 (4)   )
MissingElements
  • A deeper exploration of the consequences of the characters' actions could enhance the narrative and provide more weight to their decisions. high ( Scene 20 (30)   )
  • More character development for the supporting cast would enrich the story and provide additional emotional stakes. medium ( Scene 60 (115)   )
  • A clearer motivation for the antagonists could strengthen the conflict and provide a more compelling narrative drive. high ( Scene 4 (5)   )
  • The screenplay could benefit from a more defined theme that ties all character arcs together, enhancing the overall narrative cohesion. medium ( Scene 20 (31)   )
  • A more explicit connection between the characters' pasts and their current motivations would deepen the audience's understanding of their journeys. medium ( Scene 60 (115)   )
NotablePoints
  • The screenplay's self-awareness and meta-commentary set it apart from typical superhero narratives, engaging the audience from the outset. high ( Scene 1 (1)   )
  • The use of humor to address serious themes, such as loss and redemption, creates a unique tonal balance that resonates with viewers. high ( Scene 20 (30)   )
  • The emotional payoff in the final scenes provides a satisfying conclusion to the character arcs, reinforcing the themes of friendship and sacrifice. high ( Scene 60 (115)   )
  • The action choreography is inventive and visually striking, enhancing the overall entertainment value of the screenplay. medium ( Scene 4 (5)   )
  • The screenplay's ability to blend humor with heartfelt moments creates a unique viewing experience that appeals to a broad audience. high ( Scene 20 (30)   )
Blind Spots
  • Character Development The screenplay occasionally overlooks the development of supporting characters, leaving them feeling one-dimensional. For example, while characters like Lemon and Gatsby are introduced with potential, their arcs are not fully explored, which could enhance the emotional stakes of the story. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Pacing Issues Certain scenes feel rushed or overly drawn out, particularly during transitions between action and emotional moments. For instance, the pacing in the climactic battle sequences could be tightened to maintain tension and engagement. high
Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number Line
12Wade: Suck it, Fox. I’m going to Disneyland. Get fuuuuucked.
5WADE: I want to be an Avenger.
10WADE: Whoa, whoa. Is that supposed to be scary? Pegging isn’t new for me, friendo. But it is for Disney.
18Deadpool: I have a black belt in Karen. And I’m going to go upstairs, and I’m going to tell them all about --
31Nicepool: It costs nothing to be kind.