12 years a slave

Executive Summary

Poster
Overview

Genres: Drama, Historical

Setting: Early 19th century, Saratoga, New York, and various plantations in the American South

Overview: The story follows Solomon Northup, a free black man living in Saratoga, New York, who is kidnapped and sold into slavery. Initially, Solomon enjoys a prosperous life with his family, showcasing his musical talents and strong family values. However, his world shatters when he is deceived by two men and transported to the South, where he faces the brutal realities of enslavement. Throughout his harrowing journey, Solomon endures physical and emotional torment while maintaining his dignity and hope for freedom. As he navigates the oppressive environment of various plantations, he forms connections with fellow enslaved individuals, including the resilient Patsey and the grieving Eliza. The narrative culminates in Solomon's desperate quest for liberation, leading to a powerful reunion with his family after twelve years of suffering.

Themes: The Brutality and Dehumanization of Slavery, Resilience and the Human Spirit, The Importance of Family and Connection, The Pursuit of Freedom, The Hypocrisy of Religion and Morality in a Slave Society

Conflict and Stakes: Solomon's struggle for freedom against the brutal realities of slavery, with his life and dignity at stake.

Overall Mood: Somber and oppressive, with moments of hope and resilience.

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

  • Scene 1: The mood is stark and grim as Solomon is captured and taken into slavery, highlighting the brutality of his situation.
  • Scene 15: The mood is tense and despairing as Solomon faces the threat of lynching, emphasizing the precariousness of his existence.
  • Scene 30: The mood shifts to bittersweet during the reunion with Solomon's family, filled with longing and emotional depth.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The true story of Solomon Northup, a free man kidnapped into slavery, offers a compelling narrative.
  • Plot Twist: The unexpected betrayal and violence Solomon faces after believing he has secured help for his freedom.
  • Distinctive Setting: The contrast between the beauty of the American landscape and the brutality of slavery.
  • Innovative Ideas: Exploration of the psychological and emotional toll of slavery on individuals and families.
  • Unique Characters: Complex characters that embody the moral dilemmas and struggles of the time.

Comparable Scripts:

  • 12 Years a Slave
  • Roots
  • The Help
  • The Color Purple
  • Beloved
  • Django Unchained
  • Underground
  • The Book of Negroes
  • The Pianist
  • The Nightingale

Writing Style:

The screenplay exhibits a consistent style characterized by a strong focus on historical settings, complex character dynamics, and emotionally impactful storytelling. Themes of oppression, resilience, social injustice, and moral dilemmas are central. The writing prioritizes authentic dialogue, nuanced character interactions, and a depth of emotional exploration. While there is variation in the specific tone across individual scenes, a unified sense of stark realism and moral complexity permeates the entire work.

Style Similarities:

  • Steve McQueen
  • John Ridley
Other Similarities
Pass/Consider/Recommend

Highly Recommend


Explanation: The screenplay of '12 Years a Slave' is a powerful and poignant exploration of the brutal realities of slavery, anchored by a compelling narrative and rich character arcs. The story maintains a consistent theme of the struggle for freedom and identity, while effectively portraying the emotional and physical toll of enslavement. The pacing is generally strong, though some sections could benefit from tighter editing. Character development is profound, particularly for Solomon Northup, whose journey from freedom to bondage and back again is both harrowing and inspiring. Overall, the screenplay is a masterful blend of historical accuracy and emotional depth, making it a significant contribution to the genre.


USP: The script offers a unique blend of historical accuracy and emotional depth, focusing on the psychological and emotional toll of slavery. It avoids sensationalizing violence, instead opting for a nuanced portrayal of the dehumanizing system and the enduring spirit of the protagonist. The target audience is broad, appealing to fans of historical dramas, biographical films, and audiences seeking emotionally impactful storytelling.
Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$20-30 million

Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 18-65, particularly those interested in historical dramas, social justice themes, and biographical stories.

Marketability: The screenplay addresses significant historical and social issues, appealing to a broad audience and potential for critical acclaim.

Strong character development and emotional depth, making it relatable and engaging for viewers.

The film's historical context and themes of resilience resonate with contemporary social issues, enhancing its relevance.

Profit Potential: High, due to its potential for awards recognition, critical acclaim, and strong audience interest in historical narratives.

Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by a stark and unflinching realism, blending historical accuracy with deep emotional depth. The narrative is driven by visceral descriptions, particularly of the brutal realities of slavery, punctuated by impactful, often sparse dialogue that reveals character through action and subtext. The direction emphasizes powerful visuals and the emotional weight of the characters' internal struggles.

Best representation: Scene 8 - Despair in Captivity. This scene is the best representation because it perfectly encapsulates the writer's signature style. The stark and brutal realism of the setting and action is immediately apparent. The dialogue is minimal but incredibly impactful, conveying Solomon's defiance and the horrifying reality of his situation without relying on excessive exposition. The suggested direction underscores the visual power of the scene, prioritizing the emotional impact over elaborate staging. This scene showcases the writer's ability to create a powerful and moving narrative through a combination of visceral descriptions, sparse yet potent dialogue, and evocative direction.

Memorable Lines:

  • Jasper: But it is my desire I should not spend my life in his servitude. It is my quiet desire that I should have a missus of my choosin', raise up young'n and provide 'fo 'em as I sees fit. (Scene 2)
  • Eliza: My poor children. My poor, poor babies. (Scene 12)
  • Eliza: Where are my children? (Scene 29)
  • Eliza: Have you stopped crying for your children? You make no outward sounds, but inside you; do you still weep and wail? Before you drift at night, do you not wonder where they are and if they prosper...Solomon? If you do not, then you assuredly have been reduced to the nigger they are desirous of...Solomon. (Scene 31)
  • MISTRESS EPPS: Do it! Strike the life from her. (Scene 55)
Characters

Solomon Northup:A free black man who is kidnapped and sold into slavery, struggling to regain his freedom.

Patsey:A fellow slave who endures brutal treatment and forms a bond with Solomon.

Edwin Epps:A cruel plantation owner who exerts violent control over his slaves.

Master Ford:A somewhat sympathetic plantation owner who recognizes Solomon's talents.

Mistress Epps:Epps's wife, who is jealous and abusive towards Patsey.

Bass:A white carpenter who becomes an ally to Solomon and helps him seek freedom.

Story Shape
Summary **Summary of the Screenplay:** "In the compelling drama 'Freedom's Toll,' we follow Solomon Northup, a gifted black violinist and family man living in the pre-Civil War United States. The story begins with a glimpse into Solomon's life filled with love for his wife and children, emphasizing the warmth of their family bond against the backdrop of societal tensions and slavery. The narrative takes a dark turn when, after accepting an opportunity to join a circus as a musician, Solomon is kidnapped and thrust into a horrific life of servitude in the South. As Solomon grapples with his new reality, he is subjected to brutality from various slave masters, including the sadistic Edwin Epps. The screenplay delves deeply into the psychological and physical torment faced by Solomon and his fellow captives, showcasing their desperate struggles for dignity, hope, and freedom amidst the dehumanizing conditions of slavery. It highlights emotional moments such as the heartbreaking separations of families and the resilience of the human spirit, as seen in Solomon's determination to escape and reclaim his life. Solomon's journey unfolds against a backdrop of violence and oppression, where he maintains a flicker of hope through his musical talent and clever strategies to communicate his plight to the outside world. His relationships with other slaves, including Eliza and Patsey, reveal the shared pain and courage of those affected by slavery. Solomon ultimately writes a letter seeking help, culminating in a dramatic confrontation with his former captors and a hopeful reunion with his family after years of separation. The screenplay masterfully balances moments of despair with profound resilience, illustrating Soloman’s journey from enslavement to liberation, ultimately serving as a poignant commentary on freedom, family, and the indomitable will to survive in the face of unthinkable adversity."


Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The screenplay effectively chronicles Solomon Northup's harrowing journey through slavery, capturing the brutality and dehumanization inherent in the system. The detailed depiction of the physical and emotional toll on Solomon and other enslaved individuals is powerful and impactful. The inclusion of diverse characters like Patsey, Eliza, and Epps adds depth and complexity to the narrative, highlighting the multifaceted nature of the experience. However, the pacing feels uneven at times, with some segments dragging while others rush through crucial emotional moments. The focus remains primarily on Solomon's experiences, potentially overshadowing the equally compelling stories of other enslaved individuals. The plot occasionally meanders, losing focus on the central conflict of Solomon's enslavement and escape. Certain subplots feel underdeveloped and could benefit from stronger integration into the main narrative. The reliance on violence as a primary driver of the plot may become overwhelming, potentially diminishing the impact of the more subtle emotional moments.
Suggestions:
  • Streamline the narrative by focusing on the most impactful events and eliminating unnecessary subplots.
  • Develop the stories of other enslaved characters more fully, giving them agency and allowing their experiences to intertwine more meaningfully with Solomon's journey.
  • Find a balance between showing the brutality of slavery and exploring the resilience and humanity of the enslaved individuals.
  • Incorporate more scenes that highlight the strategies and planning Solomon uses to maintain his sense of self and ultimately achieve freedom.
  • Explore the psychological and emotional impact of slavery more deeply, incorporating moments of reflection and introspection.
  • Consider using flashbacks strategically to provide more context for Solomon's past and motivations, while also pacing the story better.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Beginning The opening scenes effectively establish Solomon's life before enslavement, highlighting his family and social standing. The contrast between his initial freedom and the subsequent brutality of the abattoir scene is jarring and impactful, immediately setting the tone for the film. The use of imagery in these opening scenes helps to ground the audience in the time period and context. However, the abrupt shift from the abattoir to the dinner party feels jarring and could benefit from smoother transitions or additional scenes to build the connection between these two seemingly disparate scenes. The introduction of Jasper is somewhat abrupt and its significance to the overall story is not immediately clear.
Suggestions:
  • Expand on the scenes establishing Solomon's life before his abduction, providing more detail on his family and social connections.
  • Find a more natural way to transition between the abattoir and the dinner party, perhaps showing Solomon's involvement in the trade of goods or the preparation of materials.
  • Clarify the significance of Jasper's introduction and his role in the developing narrative.
  • Add scenes that further highlight the differences between Solomon's free life and the impending reality of slavery.
Middle The middle section effectively details the brutal realities of Solomon's enslavement, showcasing the physical and psychological toll of the system. The diverse range of slave experiences depicted is powerful. The scenes involving Eliza and her children are particularly moving, highlighting the devastating impact of family separation. However, the sheer number of violent episodes can become repetitive and potentially desensitizing for the viewer. The pacing feels uneven at times; some subplots, like the relationship with Celeste, could be developed more fully or integrated more naturally into the main storyline. The repetitive cycle of labor, punishment, and brief moments of hope can become monotonous.
Suggestions:
  • Reduce the sheer number of violent scenes, focusing on a few key moments that effectively highlight the brutality and lasting impact of slavery.
  • Develop subplots more fully, allowing them to create meaningful emotional connections and contribute to the overall arc of the story.
  • Incorporate more moments of resistance and resilience from the enslaved individuals, showing how they find ways to maintain their dignity and hope.
  • Vary the pacing, creating more moments of quiet reflection and intimacy that balance the violent episodes.
Ending The reunion with Solomon's family is emotionally satisfying and powerful, providing a fitting resolution to his arduous journey. The depiction of the family's reunion is poignant and deeply moving, conveying the profound impact of Solomon's absence and return. However, the ending could benefit from more exploration of the emotional aftermath of his experiences and the long-term impact of slavery on both Solomon and his family. The relatively quick resolution of the legal battles feels anticlimactic, given the weight of Solomon's experiences. The film should convey more of the complexities of his reintegration into society and the lingering effects of trauma.
Suggestions:
  • Expand on the scenes depicting Solomon's reintegration into his family and community, highlighting the challenges and emotional complexities of his return.
  • Explore the lasting impact of slavery on Solomon's mental and emotional well-being, and how it shapes his relationships with his family.
  • Show the legal processes more in detail, making the eventual freedom more earned and impactful.
  • Add scenes that illustrate the ongoing struggle for equality and justice following Solomon's return.

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

1 - Contrasts of Life in Saratoga Grim, Mundane, Elegant 8.2 8 89 9 798676878 89888
2 - A Dance of Hope and Despair Serious, Reflective, Hopeful 8.5 9 89 9 787788889 99888
3 - A Family's Farewell Somber, Reflective, Informative 8.2 8 89 9 587473777 88888
4 - A Leap into the Unknown Formal, Enthusiastic, Desperate 8.5 8 98 8 789777978 99999
5 - A New Opportunity Somber, Disappointment, Flattery 7.5 8 78 8 787576877 79888
6 - A Day of Freedom and Reflection Somber, Hopeful, Anticipatory 8.5 8 99 8 787777978 99888
7 - A Day of Mourning and Captivity Somber, Melancholic, Desperate 8.5 8 99 8 887979989 89888
8 - Defiance in Darkness Intense, Dramatic, Violent 9.2 9 99 9 998109109810 99888
9 - Despair in Captivity Oppression, Defiance, Desperation 8.5 9 89 9 887989879 89888
10 - Stripped of Dignity Desperate, Defiant, Hopeful 8.5 8 89 9 887989879 89888
11 - Shadows of Hope and Despair Somber, Desperate, Heartbreaking 9.2 9 99 9 8879899810 99888
12 - Despair in Chains Somber, Heartbreaking, Desperate 9.2 9 99 9 9879899710 99888
13 - Chains of Oppression Oppression, Defiance, Despair, Resignation 8.5 8 99 8 887989989 99888
14 - Whispers of Freedom Desperate, Hopeful, Conspiratorial 8.5 8 99 8 898889989 99888
15 - Betrayal and Despair at Sea Desperation, Hope, Tragedy, Resignation 8.5 9 99 8 887889989 89888
16 - A Reunion at the Docks Desperation, Hope, Authority 8.5 8 98.5 8 887.5888889 898.588
17 - The Naming of Platt Oppression, Despair, Defiance 8.5 9 89 9 887989879 89888
18 - A Moment of Resilience Oppression, Defiance, Desperation, Hope 8.5 9 89 9 787888879 89888
19 - Heartbreak in the Great Room Heart-wrenching, Desperate, Cruel 9.2 9 99 9 8879899710 89888
20 - Despair in the Night Despair, Hopelessness, Suffering 8.5 8 89 9 887888879 89888
21 - Endurance in Suffering Despair, Suffering, Hopelessness 8.5 8 89 9 887778879 89888
22 - The Heartbreaking Auction Heartbreaking, Tense, Cruel 9.2 9 99 9 9989999810 99888
23 - Arrival at the Ford Plantation Somber, Heartbreaking, Tense 8.5 8 99 8 887878979 89888
24 - Shadows of Sorrow and Labor Heartbreaking, Resigned, Hopeful 8.5 8 89 9 787777879 89888
25 - A Moment of Defiance Tense, Heartbreaking, Defiant 8.5 8 89 9 787888889 89888
26 - A Moment of Hope Reflective, Hopeful, Innovative 8.5 9 89 9 787676878 89888
27 - A Bittersweet Achievement Hopeful, Resilient, Defiant, Sorrowful 8.5 9 88 8 887877879 79888
28 - A Bitter Farewell Humiliation, Regret, Resignation 8.5 8 89 9 887777879 98888
29 - Despair at the Tanner Plantation Heartbreaking, Desperate, Emotional, Intense 9.2 9 99 9 9879899810 99888
30 - Confrontation and Caution Tense, Oppressive, Defiant 8.5 8 88 9 887888889 99899
31 - Silent Grief Emotional, Intense, Heartbreaking 8.5 8 89 9 887787879 89888
32 - Defiance and Intervention Intense, Tense, Dramatic, Emotional 9.2 9 99 9 9981099989 99888
33 - Despair and Transfer Heartbreaking, Tense, Hopeless 9.2 9 99 9 887989989 89888
34 - The Cruelty of Labor Harsh, Oppressive, Cruel 9.2 9 99 9 8879899710 89888
35 - Weights of Oppression Tense, Harsh, Authoritative 8.5 8 89 9 787888879 89888
36 - Dance of Despair Tense, Emotional, Harsh 8.5 8 89 9 887989879 89888
37 - A Morning of Oppression Tense, Confrontational, Inquisitive 8.5 9 89 9 787777878 99888
38 - Tensions at Shaw's Plantation Tense, Dramatic, Intense, Conversational 8.5 8 89 9 887978878 99888
39 - A Drunken Confrontation Tense, Dramatic, Confrontational, Emotional 8.5 8 99 9 898989979 89888
40 - Oppression and Despair Tension, Violence, Oppression, Defiance 9.2 9 99 9 9899899810 99988
41 - Despair and Destruction Desperation, Hopelessness, Conflict 9.2 9 99 9 9989899810 99888
42 - Brutality and Despair on the Plantation Oppression, Despair, Violence, Survival 8.5 8 89 8 798989889 79888
43 - Desperate Connections Desperation, Regret, Shame 8.5 8 89 9 787687679 79888
44 - A Chance for Elevation Tense, Formal, Resigned 8.5 8 89 9 687787877 89888
45 - The Weight of Authority Oppression, Defiance, Desperation 8.5 8 98 8 887989989 89888
46 - A Night of Desperation and Hope Desperation, Hope, Defiance 8.5 9 89 9 887778879 89888
47 - A Midnight Exchange Anxious, Desperate, Hopeful 8.5 8 89 9 887788879 99888
48 - A Test of Loyalty Tense, Dramatic, Intense 8.5 8 99 9 887888989 89888
49 - A Choice in the Darkness Melancholy, Desperate, Hopeless 8.5 8 89 9 887.5788789 998.588
50 - Harvest of Suffering Oppressive, Tense, Resigned 8.5 8 89 9 887888879 89888
51 - Reflections in the Night Reflective, Regretful, Desperate 8.5 8 89 9 887776789 99888
52 - Burden of Loss Harsh, Desperate, Defiant 8.5 8 89 9 798888889 89888
53 - A Risky Proposition Tense, Desperate, Secretive 8.5 8 98 8 887.5888989 89888
54 - Manipulation and Despair Tense, Desperate, Defiant, Manipulative, Sorrowful 9.2 9 99 9 9989899710 99888
55 - Brutality Under the Sun Anger, Desperation, Cruelty, Defiance, Sorrow 9.2 10 99 9 998109109810 99888
56 - Agony and Debate Serious, Philosophical, Confrontational 8.5 9 89 8 787888788 99888
57 - A Desperate Plea for Freedom Serious, Reflective, Intense 8.7 9 99 9 898979979 99888
58 - Flickering Hopes and Fading Paths Anxious, Regretful, Hopeful 8.5 9 88 9 898788889 99899
59 - A Hopeful Reunion Emotional, Tense, Confrontational 9.2 9 99 9 9989899810 99888
60 - A Bittersweet Reunion Emotional, Reunion, Heartfelt 9.2 9 99 9 887.53867710 89888


Scene 1 - Contrasts of Life in Saratoga
EXT. ANIMAL PEN - DAY
We are outside of a smallish animal pen. It sits in back
of some wooden structures. The build and design is that
of early 19th century American. It would pass for urban
and commercial as opposed to agrarian. Within the pen we
see SEVERAL SHEEP grazing.
Into the pen walks a BUTCHER. He is a white man in his
mid-forties. Without any particular regard he takes up
one of the sheep, and wrestles it into a shack-like
structure.

INT. ABATTOIR - LATER
The shack is a smallish abattoir. We see the Butcher
sitting on a bench next to the sheep. With sheers in
hand, the Butcher clears the wool from the sheep.
Once the sheep is clean, in a very matter of fact manner,
the Butcher binds the sheep's rear legs, slits its
throat, then hangs it upside down allowing for the animal
to bleed out. The butcher then pulls the intestine from
the animal immediately after slaughter while the gut is
still hot. These bundles are put into large containers
and await collection by the DRESSER.

INT. DRESSER'S - DAY
We see now the DRESSER taking the casings from a pot of
cold water. He then removes all membranes except for the
muscle fibers. The casing is now ready for sorting; the
casing is checked for length, color and general
condition.
Selected casings are grouped together in HANKS.

INT. STRING MAKER'S - DAY
We see now a STRING MAKER working with the hanks, using a
BLADE to split them into RIBBONS. The next step is to
whiten the gut with sulphur fumes before they are combed
through straightening the ribbons.
Lastly, the String Maker takes some strings and WRAPS
THEM IN A VERY NEAT LITTLE PACKAGE.

EXT. STREET - AFTERNOON
The String Maker walks the package along the streets of
Saratoga, New York. It is best known as the location
that British General John Burgoyne surrendered to
American General Horatio Gates at the end of the Battles
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 2.

of Saratoga on October 17, 1777, often cited as the
turning point for the United States during the American
Revolutionary War. The town line is formed by the Hudson
River and is the border of Washington County. Fish Creek,
a tributary of the Hudson River, is the outflow of
Saratoga Lake. It is a fairly modern township, but in
the middle 1800s it is far from pristine. THERE IS MUD
AND MANURE EVERYWHERE, AND IT IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO
KEEP ANYTHING CLEAN. This state, however, is the norm
for the era and goes uncommented upon.
The String Maker arrives to a TOWNHOUSE. Using a KNOCKER
that hangs at the door he raps, then calls to the
occupant:
STRING MAKER
Mr. Northup? Are you there Mr.
Northup?

INT. TOWNHOUSE/STUDY - LATER
We are close on a PAIR OF HANDS. BLACK HANDS. They
unwrap the package and display the strings.
WE CUT TO the hands stringing a violin. It's not a high
end piece, but it is quite nice.
WE CUT TO a wide shot of the study. Sitting in a chair
with violin in hand is SOLOMON NORTHUP; a man in his late
twenties. Everything about Solomon, his mein and manner,
is distinguished. But he, too, seems a hardy individual.
Someone who has known manual labor in his time.
Solomon begins to lightly play his violin, as if testing
the strings, their tuning. Satisfied, Solomon begins to
play vigorously. As he does, we make a HARD CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE/LIVING ROOM - EVENING
We come in on a lively affair. A dinner party is being
thrown with the confines of a fairly stately house. In
attendance are EIGHT COUPLES. All are WHITE and all are
FAIRLY YOUNG, in their early twenties. The men and women
are dressed in very fine attire. We should get the sense
that for the most part they are people of means.
The furniture has been set aside in the living room. At
the moment the couples are engaged in the dancing of a
REEL. Most likely they would be dancing "the reel of
three," in which, as the name implies, three dancers
weave in and out of one another, completing a figure 8
pattern on the floor, usually in six or eight bars of
music.
The music they are dancing too is being played by
Solomon, having cut directly from the tune he was
previously playing. He plays with a light determination,
and in no way seems possessed with empty servitude.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 3.

Solomon concludes the reel, and the dancers break into
enthusiastic applause, which is followed by thanks and
congratulations by the group. It should be clear that
despite their respective races there is much admiration
and appreciation for Solomon's abilities.

INT. NORTHUP HOUSE/BEDROOM - MORNING
It is a Saturday morning. Clad in her "finest attire" is
ANNE; Solomon's wife. A few years younger than Solomon.
She is lighter in color than Solomon as well. We see
also the Northup children: ELIZABETH, who is ten,
MARGARET, eight and ALONZO who is five. They are
handsome, and well groomed kids. Anne straightening up
the children. She finishes, she rises up and stands
behind them, almost as if preparing to pose for a
portrait.
They all wait a moment, then Solomon enters the foyer.
He stands, and looks admiringly at his family.
ADMIRINGLY stressed. It isn't that he doesn't have love
for them, he does as well. But in the moment, he truly
admires his greatest accomplishment: a family that is
healthy and well and provided for. He goes to his
children, and hands each a coin.
He moves, then, to Anne. Gives her a kiss on the cheek.
The children giggle at the sight.

EXT. STREET - DAY
Solomon and his family are now out walking along the
streets and groves of Saratoga.
The streets are well populated this morning with many
people out strolling. Most are WHITE, but there are
BLACKS as well. They are FREED BLACKS who mingle fairly
easily - though not always completely - with the whites.
We see, too, a few BLACK SLAVES who travel with their
WHITE MASTERS. These pairings are largely from the south
and - despite the fact the blacks are slaves - they are
not physically downtrodden, not field hands. They are
well dressed and "leading apparently an easy life" -
comparatively speaking - as they trail their masters.
Among the slaves, we see one in particular; JASPER. As
he trails his MASTER he can't help but note Solomon and
his family as they make their way INTO A STORE. His
intrigue of this most handsome and harmonious group
should be obvious.
With his Master occupied, Jasper moves slyly toward
Parker's store. Clearly his intent is to have dealings
with the Northups.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 4.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary The scene opens with a butcher capturing and slaughtering a sheep, transitioning to a string maker delivering goods to Solomon Northup, a talented black violinist entertaining guests at a dinner party. Solomon shares affectionate moments with his wife and children, highlighting their familial bond. As they stroll through the streets, they encounter Jasper, a curious slave, underscoring the social dynamics and tensions of the era.
Strengths
  • Detailed description of setting and processes
  • Effective character introductions
  • Engaging contrast between different aspects of society
Weaknesses
  • Minimal dialogue
  • Low conflict level

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene effectively sets the tone for the historical drama, introduces key characters, and provides a glimpse into the societal dynamics of the era.


Story Content

Concept: 8.3

The concept of showcasing the process of string-making alongside social interactions in Saratoga is engaging and provides depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot introduces key elements of the story, sets up potential conflicts, and establishes the historical context effectively.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh approach to depicting historical events and social dynamics, as well as authentic character actions and dialogue.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed through their actions and interactions, showcasing their roles in society and hinting at potential character arcs.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, subtle hints at character dynamics and potential development are present.

Internal Goal: 9

Solomon Northup's internal goal in this scene is to showcase his musical talent and provide for his family. This reflects his desire for recognition and pride in his abilities, as well as his responsibility as a provider for his loved ones.

External Goal: 8

Solomon's external goal is to entertain the guests at the dinner party and showcase his musical skills. This reflects the immediate challenge of impressing a wealthy and predominantly white audience.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

There is a subtle conflict hinted at through the interactions between characters, but it is not the central focus of the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Solomon faces challenges related to racial prejudice and societal expectations, adding complexity to his external goals.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on establishing the setting and characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key elements, characters, and setting up potential plotlines.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected interactions between characters and the underlying tensions related to race and social status.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the juxtaposition of Solomon's talent and dignity against the backdrop of racial inequality and slavery. This challenges Solomon's beliefs in equality and respect for all individuals.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of appreciation, intrigue, and admiration, but does not delve deeply into emotional turmoil.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is minimal but serves its purpose in conveying information and setting the tone for the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its rich historical detail, compelling character interactions, and thematic depth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and momentum, transitioning smoothly between different locations and character interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that enhance visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively transitioning between different locations and characters to advance the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the setting and time period, immersing the audience in the early 19th century American context. However, the transition between the abattoir and the string maker feels abrupt and could benefit from smoother transitions or thematic connections that link the two trades more clearly.
  • The depiction of the butcher's actions is visceral and stark, which serves to highlight the harsh realities of the time. However, the scene could delve deeper into the emotional or psychological impact of these actions on the butcher, which would add depth to his character and the overall narrative.
  • The introduction of Solomon Northup is compelling, but the scene could benefit from a stronger emotional hook. While we see him playing the violin, there is little insight into his internal state or the significance of music in his life. Adding a moment of reflection or a brief flashback could enhance the audience's connection to him.
  • The contrast between the slaughterhouse and the lively dinner party is striking, but the transition lacks a clear thematic bridge. The juxtap could be more powerful if it included a moment that reflects on the duality of life and death, or freedom and bondage, which are central themes in the story.
  • The dialogue is minimal in this scene, which can work well for establishing atmosphere, but it may also leave the audience wanting more character interaction. Introducing brief exchanges between characters, even in the background, could enrich the scene and provide more context for the social dynamics at play.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of hesitation or reflection from the butcher before he slaughters the sheep, which could humanize him and create a more complex character.
  • Introduce a thematic element that connects the abattoir to the string maker, perhaps through a shared understanding of labor or the value of craftsmanship, to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
  • Incorporate a brief internal monologue or flashback for Solomon as he plays the violin, allowing the audience to understand his emotional connection to music and its significance in his life.
  • Enhance the transition between the abattoir and the dinner party by including a visual or auditory motif that links the two scenes, such as the sound of the violin echoing over the slaughterhouse, symbolizing the contrast between life and death.
  • Add subtle background dialogue or interactions among the characters at the dinner party to provide context for Solomon's role and the social dynamics, enriching the scene's atmosphere and character relationships.



Scene 2 - A Dance of Hope and Despair
INT. STORE - LATER
We are inside the store of MR. CEPHAS PARKER, a supplier
of general goods. Solomon greets him with:
SOLOMON
Mr. Parker.
PARKER
Mr. Northup. Mrs. Northup.
Though little is stated, their is clearly familiarity
among them.
With money in hand the Northup children move quickly
about the store looking for items to purchase.
At the checkout counter sits a portrait of WILLIAM HENRY
HARRISON, the edges draped in black crepe. Before the
book sits a LEDGER. Mr. Parker asks of Solomon:
PARKER (CONT'D)
If you would, Mr. Northup, sign
our condolence book. My hope is
to find a way to forward it to the
Widow Harrison. Sad days for the
nation.
SOLOMON
But brighter times ahead.
As Anne looks over some silks and fabrics, Solomon eyes a
new violin. He asks of Parker:
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
May I?
PARKER
It would be my pleasure. Could I
trouble you for a waltz, sir?
Solomon does a quick tuning of the instrument, then into
a waltz; lively and well played. The Elizabeth and
Margaret clasp hands and dance. There is laughter and
smiles.
As Solomon plays, Jasper enters the store. He stands for
a moment, again in seeming admiration of Solomon. While
far from pathetic, Jasper is the definition of a
subservient man.
As Solomon concludes to the applause of Parker and the
children:
JASPER
Suh... A word, suh? I could not
help none but take note of yahself
and yah family as yah made yah
way. My congratulations to yah.
Yah Missus and chil'ren be very
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 5.
JASPER (CONT'D)
handsome 'n must be'a great
regard. My name, suh, is Jasper.
I am travelin' to Saratoga with my
massa. Massa Fitzgerald. And I
will insist to yah, suh, that I am
well provided fo'. Yah can see
that jus by my adornments. And I
never want for no meal or 'fo
warmth at night. Massa Fitzgerald
is a fine man. Very fine
Jasper looks to Parker, then steps closer to Solomon and
speaks a bit conspiratorially. The following comes from
him as though it is a thought he has wrestled with for
some time:
JASPER (CONT'D)
But it is my desire I should not
spend my life in his servitude.
It is my quiet desire that I
should have a missus of my
choosin', raise up young'n and
provide 'fo 'em as I sees fit. It
is a desire I keep inside me, and
easily so, when I am south.
Freedom at best a fleetin' notion.
But on travels north, if I can be
true; I can hardly contain my
wantin' for liberty. I am anxious
for it. I am anxious to escape.
But I am anxious all the same of
the punishment that would attend
my recapture. My question to you,
suh, is of the best and surest
method of effecting my flight.
SOLOMON
The only answer I can give...
Watch your opportunities and
strike for freedom.
JASPER
What opportunities? And how shall
I take advantage of them?
Solomon isn't sure how to respond. It's easy to speak of
freedom, but not how it is gained.
WE HEAR THE BELL AT THE DOOR. It's Jasper's Master.
He's stern, clearly displeased.
FITZGERALD
Jasper! Jasper, come along.
(to Parker)
I apologize for any intrusion,
sir.
SOLOMON
No, intrusion.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 6.

Fitzgerald looks to Solomon. It is a cold glare as
though he wasn't speaking to, and has no interest in a
response from a black man. Looking back to Parker:
FITZGERALD
Good day, sir.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In Mr. Cephas Parker's general goods store, Solomon Northup and his family enjoy a lively moment as Solomon plays the violin, prompting his children to dance. Amidst the joy, Jasper, a man in servitude, confides in Solomon about his desire for freedom, seeking advice on escape. Solomon encourages him to look for opportunities, but his guidance is vague. The atmosphere shifts when Fitzgerald, Jasper's master, enters, reprimanding him and casting a cold glare at Solomon, highlighting the tension between hope and the harsh reality of servitude.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Exploration of complex themes
Weaknesses
  • Limited external conflict
  • Lack of significant character changes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the internal conflicts of the characters and sets up a tension between desires and consequences. The dialogue is poignant and thought-provoking, adding depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the desires for freedom and the consequences of pursuing it in a historical context is compelling and thought-provoking. It adds layers to the characters and the overall narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on character dynamics and internal conflicts, setting up potential conflicts and resolutions in future scenes. It moves the story forward by introducing key themes and character motivations.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the theme of freedom and oppression, exploring the complexities of race and power dynamics in a nuanced way.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, with complex motivations and internal struggles. Their interactions reveal layers of depth and add richness to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the internal struggles and desires expressed by the characters set the stage for potential growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to maintain hope and optimism despite the challenges he faces as a free black man in a society that still oppresses him.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to navigate the social dynamics and racial tensions of the time while maintaining his dignity and freedom.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The scene introduces internal conflicts within the characters and sets up potential external conflicts with societal norms and expectations.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with characters facing internal and external conflicts that challenge their beliefs and desires.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for the characters as they navigate their desires for freedom within the constraints of a society built on slavery. The consequences of their actions could have significant repercussions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key themes, character motivations, and potential conflicts that will shape future events in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations and character dynamics that unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the desire for freedom and the fear of punishment. Jasper struggles with the idea of escaping servitude but is also afraid of the consequences of being recaptured.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from hope to anxiety, as the characters grapple with their desires and the challenges they face. The emotional depth adds resonance to the narrative.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is engaging and thought-provoking, reflecting the characters' desires and the societal constraints they face. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the emotional impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth of the characters and the tension that builds throughout the interaction.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' dilemmas.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for character interactions and dialogue, effectively building tension and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the setting and the social dynamics of the time, showcasing the contrast between Solomon's status as a free man and Jasper's position as a slave. However, the dialogue could be tightened to enhance the pacing and emotional impact. For instance, Jasper's lengthy monologue about his desires for freedom could be condensed to maintain the audience's engagement.
  • While the scene introduces important themes of freedom and servitude, it lacks a strong emotional arc. The interaction between Solomon and Jasper feels somewhat flat, as Solomon's response to Jasper's plea for help lacks depth. This moment could be more impactful if Solomon expressed his own struggles or fears, creating a stronger connection between the two characters.
  • The introduction of Fitzgerald is effective in establishing tension, but his character could be developed further. A brief action or line that demonstrates his authority or cruelty would enhance the audience's understanding of the threat he poses to Jasper and Solomon. As it stands, Fitzgerald's presence feels somewhat abrupt and underexplored.
  • The use of music in the scene is a nice touch, as it contrasts the joy of Solomon's family life with the harsh realities of slavery. However, the transition from the lively waltz to the serious conversation with Jasper could be smoother. Consider using the music to underscore the emotional weight of the conversation, perhaps by fading it out as the tone shifts.
  • The scene ends rather abruptly with Fitzgerald's entrance, leaving the audience wanting more resolution or a clearer sense of the stakes involved. A stronger closing line or moment could heighten the tension and set up the next scene more effectively.
Suggestions
  • Condense Jasper's monologue about his desire for freedom to make it more impactful and maintain the audience's attention.
  • Enhance the emotional connection between Solomon and Jasper by having Solomon share his own fears or experiences related to freedom.
  • Develop Fitzgerald's character further by adding a line or action that demonstrates his authority and the threat he poses to both Solomon and Jasper.
  • Create a smoother transition between the lively music and the serious conversation by fading out the music as the tone shifts.
  • Consider adding a stronger closing moment or line to the scene that heightens the tension and sets up the stakes for the next scene.



Scene 3 - A Family's Farewell
INT. NORTHUP HOUSE/DINING ROOM - EVENING
The family now sits around the dinner table, the meal
mostly finished. Solomon, the very definition of a man
in repose - sits at the head of the table reading from a
NEWSPAPER. He reads to the rest of the family solemn
news of the funeral arrangements for the recently
deceased President Harrison.
SOLOMON
"Thus has passed away from earth
our late President. His voice was
still fresh in the ears of his
countrymen when it was hushed in
death. The tongue of calumny had
not time to poison his fame. He
has passed from the praise of men
to receive the plaudit of his
heavenly Father. Let us in this
bereavement bow meekly to the
divine will, and hear the voice of
the Sovereign of the Sovereign
saying be still and be with God."
A long moment of quiet, the family continuing to eat.
Then, from Elizabeth:
ELIZABETH
Will you read it again?
Solomon starts from the top of the article.
SOLOMON
"During the morning, from sunrise,
the heavy bells had been pealing
forth their slow and solemn toll
while the minute guns announced
that soon the grave would receive
its trust. Our city as well as
our entire nation has been called
to weep over the fall of a great
and good man. One who was by the
wishes of a large majority of our
people raised to fill the highest
place of trust within their gift.
William Henry Harrison, the first
chief magistrate who has died
during his term of service."
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 7.

INT. NORTHUP HOUSE/CHILDREN'S ROOM - NIGHT
The children are put to bed by both Solomon and Anne.
They are tucked in, and each given a kiss good night.

INT. NORTHUP HOUSE/BEDROOM - NIGHT
Solomon and Anne are now preparing for bed themselves.
Anne washing her face in a basin as Solomon changes into
his night clothes. The limited interaction of the two
should be very perfunctory. Like many married couples
they've just become very accustomed to one another.

EXT. NORTHUP HOUSE - MORNING
We are just outside the Northup house. A CARRIAGE waits
with a DRIVER. Anne and the children are dressed for
travel as the Driver loads bags into the carriage.
Anne gives her husband a kiss.
SOLOMON
Travel safely.
ANNE
Stay safely.
Anne and the children load up. The Driver chides the
horse, and the carriage heads off. Solomon waves a
hearty good bye to his wife and children.

EXT. STREET - DAY
Solomon is now out for a stroll. As he crosses near MR.
MOON'S TAVERN, he passes two men - two in particular -
who stand outside conversing with MR. MOON himself:
MERRILL BROWN and ABRAM HAMILTON. Brown is about 40,
with a countenance indicating shrewdness and
intelligence. Hamilton is closer to 25, a man of fair
complexion and light eyes. Both are finely, if perhaps a
bit garishly, dressed. Hamilton, as Solomon describes
him, slightly effeminate.
Moon, spotting Solomon:
MR. MOON
Call the Devil's name... There he
is now. Mr. Northup... I have
two gentlemen who should make your
acquaintance. Messrs. Brown and
Hamilton.
BROWN
Sir.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 8.

MR. MOON
Mr. Northup, these two gentlemen
were inquiring about distinguished
individuals, and I was just this
very moment telling them that
Solomon Northup is an expert
player on the violin.
HAMILTON
He was indeed.
SOLOMON
Mr. Moon is being overly gracious.
BROWN
Taking into consideration his
graciousness and your modesty, may
we trouble you for a moment of
your time to converse, sir?
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary The scene depicts the Northup family during a reflective evening and a tender morning. Solomon reads a solemn newspaper article about President Harrison's funeral to his family, prompting Elizabeth to ask for a repeat reading. After a loving bedtime routine with their children, Solomon and Anne share affectionate goodbyes as she and the children prepare to leave in a carriage. The scene concludes with Solomon encountering Mr. Moon and two gentlemen, who express interest in his violin skills, hinting at future developments.
Strengths
  • Effective tone setting
  • Smooth transitions between locations
  • Well-developed characters
Weaknesses
  • Low conflict level
  • Limited character change

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.2

The scene effectively sets a somber and reflective tone through the family's discussion of President Harrison's death. It introduces new characters seamlessly and hints at potential future interactions.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of reflecting on a historical event while introducing new characters is well-executed. It adds depth to the story and sets the stage for potential conflicts and developments.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by introducing new characters and hinting at potential conflicts or alliances. It keeps the audience engaged and curious about future events.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on historical events and societal norms of the time. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the overall authenticity of the setting.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, especially Solomon, Elizabeth, and the new characters Brown and Hamilton, are well-developed and add layers to the story. Their interactions feel authentic and hint at future dynamics.

Character Changes: 5

There is minimal character change in this scene, as it mainly focuses on introducing new characters and setting the tone for future developments.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to maintain composure and provide comfort to his family during a time of mourning. This reflects his deeper need for stability and strength in the face of adversity.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to navigate social interactions with grace and diplomacy, as seen in his conversation with Mr. Moon and the two gentlemen. This reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining his reputation and social standing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

The conflict level is low in this scene, focusing more on character interactions and reflection rather than intense conflicts.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from the societal expectations and the challenges of maintaining one's identity in a complex social environment.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on character dynamics and reflection rather than high-intensity conflicts.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new characters and hinting at potential plot developments. It sets the stage for future events.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in terms of the social interactions and the philosophical conflicts that arise. The audience is left wondering how Solomon will navigate these challenges.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the societal expectations of a free man of color in a predominantly white society. Solomon's interactions with Mr. Moon and the gentlemen highlight the tension between his identity and how others perceive him.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of respect and reflection, but the emotional impact is not overly intense. It sets a contemplative mood for the audience.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is informative and respectful, reflecting the somber tone of the scene. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions and sets the stage for future conversations.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, historical context, and character dynamics. The interactions between the characters draw the audience in and create a sense of intimacy.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-balanced, with a mix of quiet moments and more active interactions that keep the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear scene headings and descriptions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between different locations and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes a sense of normalcy and familial warmth in the Northup household, contrasting with the harsh realities of the world outside. However, the transition from the solemn reading of the newspaper to the more intimate family moments could be smoother. The shift in tone feels abrupt, and a more gradual transition could enhance the emotional impact.
  • The dialogue, particularly Solomon's reading, is rich and reflective of the time period, but it may benefit from a more dynamic interaction among family members. Elizabeth's request to read the article again feels somewhat flat; adding a layer of emotional response or discussion about the implications of the president's death could deepen the scene.
  • The scene lacks a clear conflict or tension, which can make it feel static. While the family dynamics are important, introducing a subtle conflict—perhaps a discussion about the state of the nation or the implications of Harrison's death on their lives—could add depth and urgency.
  • The visual descriptions are somewhat lacking in detail. More vivid imagery could enhance the setting and atmosphere, allowing the audience to feel the warmth of the home contrasted with the coldness of the news being read. Describing the dinner table, the food, or the children's expressions could create a more immersive experience.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The long reading of the newspaper could be interspersed with reactions from the family, creating a rhythm that reflects their emotional engagement with the news. This would also help maintain audience interest throughout the reading.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more dialogue among family members during the reading of the newspaper to create a sense of shared experience and emotional engagement. This could include reactions to the news or reflections on their own lives in relation to the president's death.
  • Introduce a subtle conflict or tension within the family dynamic, perhaps related to the political climate or their own aspirations and fears. This could provide a more compelling narrative drive and deepen character development.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the setting and characters to create a more vivid and immersive atmosphere. Consider detailing the dinner table, the food, and the children's expressions to evoke a stronger emotional response from the audience.
  • Revise the pacing of the scene by breaking up the newspaper reading with family interactions. This could help maintain audience interest and create a more dynamic flow to the scene.
  • Explore the emotional weight of the news being read by incorporating more nuanced reactions from the family, which could reflect their individual personalities and concerns, thereby enriching the overall scene.



Scene 4 - A Leap into the Unknown
INT. MR. MOON'S TAVERN - LATER
We make a jump cut into the tavern. Solomon, Brown and
Hamilton are sitting at a table. Brown and Hamilton
drink lightly. Solomon abstains.
SOLOMON
A circus?
HAMILTON
That is our usual employee. The
company currently in the city of
Washington.
BROWN
Circus too constricting a word to
describe the talented and merry
band with which we travel. It is
a spectacle unlike most have ever
witnessed. Creatures from the
darkest Africa as yet unseen by
civilized man. Acrobats from the
Orient able to contort themselves
in the most confounding manners.
Men of great strength...
HAMILTON
And Mr. Brown himself; an
internationally renowned
pantomimist.
BROWN
You are too kind.
HAMILTON
As your talents are too great.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 9.

BROWN
We are on our way thither to
rejoin the company having left for
a short time to make an excursion
northward for the purpose of
seeing the country, our expenses
paid by an occasional exhibition.
HAMILTON
The reason for our inquiry with
Mr. Moon...
BROWN
Yes. We had just a devil of a
time in procuring music for our
entertainments. Men of true
talent seemingly in short supply.
As we were discussing our
predicament, Mr. Moon suggested we
make acquaintance with you,
praising your skills at every
opportunity.
SOLOMON
Gentlemen...
BROWN
We offer this, desperate as we
are; If you could accompany us as
far as New York... We would give
you one dollar for each day's
service and three dollars for
every night played at our
performances. In addition we
would provide sufficient pay for
the expenses of your return from
New York here to Saratoga.
HAMILTON
An opportunity to see the country
with the occasional exhibition
from which to accrue expenses. If
there is any way in which you
would give consideration to the
offer...
SOLOMON
(enthusiastically)
I will give more than
consideration. I will agree.
Immediately. The payment offered
is enticement enough, as is my
desire to visit the metropolis.
Both Brown and Hamilton display broad smiles:
HAMILTON
We are delighted, sir. So
delighted. Though we would add
that our travel plans--
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 10.

BROWN
We would like to depart with
haste. However, it is understood
if there are arrangements you need
to attend to.
SOLOMON
As luck would have it, my wife and
children are traveling. I will
write her of our plans, then we
may go.

INT. NORTHUP HOUSE/BEDROOM - LATER
Back in his house, we see Solomon packing: putting some
clothes in a travel case, and collecting his violin as
well.

INT. NORTHUP HOUSE/STUDY - LATER
Solomon sits down to write a letter; pen poised over
paper with already a few lines written. But Solomon
thinks better of it. WITH LITTLE THOUGHT HE TEARS THE
PAPER AND SETS IT ASIDE. WE SHOULD GET THE SENSE THAT
THE ABSOLUTE VALUE OF BEING ABLE TO COMMUNICATE BY LETTER
IS LOST ON SOLOMON. THIS FACT WILL HAVE GREAT WEIGHT IN
THE NEAR FUTURE.

EXT. NORTHUP HOUSE - LATER
Solomon is exiting. Brown and Hamilton are waiting.
They ride in a covered carriage led by a pair of "noble"
horses.
HAMILTON
No letter to post?
SOLOMON
No need. My return would be as
soon as my family's.
BROWN
We're off then.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In Mr. Moon's Tavern, Solomon eagerly accepts an offer from Brown and Hamilton to join their circus as a musician, excited about the adventure and financial prospects. Despite a sense of hopelessness about communicating with his family, he decides to leave his home and responsibilities behind. The scene captures the mix of excitement and tension as Solomon packs his belongings and departs in a carriage, marking a significant turning point in his life.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Smooth transition between locations
  • Effective introduction of new plot point
Weaknesses
  • Limited exploration of character motivations
  • Lack of visual cues to enhance emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively introduces a new plot point and opportunity for the main character, Solomon, while maintaining a formal and enthusiastic tone. The dialogue is engaging and sets up potential conflicts and character development.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of offering Solomon a chance to travel with a circus troupe adds a new dimension to the story and opens up possibilities for character growth and exploration of different settings. The scene effectively introduces this concept and sets the stage for future developments.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene with the introduction of the circus troupe opportunity for Solomon. This plot point adds depth to the story and creates anticipation for how Solomon's decision will impact his journey.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the historical context of traveling circuses and the opportunities they presented to individuals seeking adventure and financial gain. The characters' dialogue feels authentic to the time period and setting, adding originality to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly Solomon, Brown, and Hamilton, are well-developed through their dialogue and interactions. Their motivations and personalities are effectively conveyed, setting the stage for potential conflicts and growth.

Character Changes: 7

Solomon undergoes a subtle character change in this scene as he decides to accept the offer to travel with the circus troupe. This decision marks a shift in his journey and sets the stage for potential growth and challenges.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to seize an opportunity for adventure and financial gain. His desire to visit the metropolis and earn money through his musical talents reflects his deeper need for freedom and independence.

External Goal: 9

Solomon's external goal is to join the circus group and travel to New York to perform with them. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances of the offer presented to him and the opportunity it provides for him to explore new places and earn money.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Solomon grapples with the decision to leave his family temporarily and embark on a new journey with the circus troupe. The external conflict is hinted at through the troupe's desperation for a musician.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene comes from Solomon's internal conflict between seizing the opportunity for adventure and financial gain versus his responsibilities to his family. The audience is left uncertain about how Solomon will resolve this conflict and what consequences his decision may have.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high in this scene as Solomon is presented with a life-changing opportunity to travel with the circus troupe. His decision will impact his journey and potentially lead to new challenges and experiences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a new plot point and opportunity for Solomon to travel with the circus troupe. This development opens up new possibilities for the narrative and sets the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected offer presented to Solomon to join the circus group and travel to New York. The audience is left wondering how Solomon will navigate this new opportunity and the potential conflicts it may bring.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of freedom and opportunity versus stability and family. Solomon must weigh the benefits of joining the circus for adventure and financial gain against the responsibilities and ties he has to his family.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, particularly in Solomon's decision-making process and the excitement of the circus troupe members. The somber tone at the beginning contrasts with the hopeful tone of the offer, creating a nuanced emotional experience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is engaging and serves to move the plot forward while revealing important character traits and motivations. The formal tone and enthusiastic exchanges between the characters add depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the characters, the sense of opportunity and adventure presented to Solomon, and the decision-making process that drives the plot forward. The dialogue and descriptive language draw the audience into the world of the traveling circus.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and character introspection that drives the plot forward and maintains the audience's interest. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its effectiveness in conveying the offer presented to Solomon and his decision-making process.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that guide the reader through the setting and character actions. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions and dialogue that advance the plot and reveal the characters' motivations. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in conveying the offer presented to Solomon.


Critique
  • The dialogue in this scene effectively establishes the characters' personalities and their motivations, particularly through Brown's enthusiastic descriptions of the circus and Hamilton's supportive role. However, the dialogue can feel a bit expository at times, especially when Brown lists the talents of the performers. This could be streamlined to maintain a more natural flow.
  • The transition from the tavern to Solomon's home is somewhat abrupt. While the jump cut serves to move the story forward, it may benefit from a brief moment that connects the two locations, perhaps a visual cue or a line of dialogue that hints at Solomon's thoughts as he leaves the tavern.
  • Solomon's decision to not send a letter to his family is a significant moment that could be emphasized more. The scene where he tears the letter could include more internal conflict or a visual representation of his emotional state, such as a close-up on his face or hands, to convey the weight of his decision.
  • The introduction of the characters Brown and Hamilton is effective, but their motivations could be clearer. While they express a desire for Solomon's musical talents, a line or two that hints at their own stakes in this arrangement would deepen their characters and make the offer feel more urgent.
  • The scene ends with a sense of urgency as they prepare to leave, but it could benefit from a stronger emotional resonance. A moment of reflection from Solomon about leaving his family, even if briefly, would enhance the stakes and create a more poignant transition into the next scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to reduce exposition and make it feel more organic. For example, instead of listing the talents of the performers, Brown could express excitement in a more conversational manner.
  • Add a brief moment or line that connects the tavern scene to Solomon's home, perhaps reflecting on his thoughts as he leaves the tavern.
  • Enhance the emotional weight of Solomon's decision to not send a letter by including a visual or internal conflict that shows his struggle with the choice.
  • Clarify Brown and Hamilton's motivations by adding a line or two that hints at their own stakes in bringing Solomon along, making their offer feel more urgent and meaningful.
  • Incorporate a moment of reflection for Solomon before he leaves, emphasizing his emotional state and the significance of leaving his family, which would create a more impactful transition to the next scene.



Scene 5 - A New Opportunity
INT. PUB - EVENING
We find ourselves in a roadside pub. It serves the
purpose of drinking and diversion, and little more. This
is the locale at which Brown and Hamilton are currently
engaged in putting on one of their "entertainments."
We see Hamilton at the door, collecting receipts. WHAT
LITTLE AUDIENCE THERE IS, IS ALREADY IN PLACE. There is
nothing more for Hamilton to collect. Brown is at the
head of the space entertaining a PARSE AUDIENCE AND NOT
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 11.

OF "SELECT CHARACTER." Solomon provides the music on his
violin.
As Solomon plays, Brown goes through and act of
pantomiming the throwing of balls, dancing on a rope,
frying pancakes in a hat, causing invisible pigs to
squeal. Basically it's some pretty lame stuff. Not
nearly the calibre one would expect to find as part of a
great "carnival."

INT. BOARDING HOUSE - LATER
Solomon, Hamilton and Brown sit down to eat. Hamilton
and Brown drink, but again Solomon abstains. Though
Solomon remains cool, Hamilton and Brown put up a great
show of being disappointed as Hamilton counts out what
little money was collected.
HAMILTON
If it's not anything, it's next to
it.
BROWN
I have not seen an audience so
sparse...
HAMILTON
Not an additional tip from a one
of them. They expect to be
entertained for nothing.
BROWN
And not satisfied a bit despite
giving them more than what they
paid for.
SOLOMON
It's the national mood. There's
too much grief to make room for
frivolity.
BROWN
I think we won't see a true
audience until Washington. We
should make it our objective to
return with all due speed.
HAMILTON
My sincerest apologies, Solomon.
SOLOMON
No need.
HAMILTON
You were promised opportunity, and
you were given none.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 12.

BROWN
The opportunity is with the
circus. A two man show poorly
promoted, what were we to expect?
But the circus bills itself.
HAMILTON
True.
BROWN
It arrives to each town with a
hoopla and leaves with a flourish.
HAMILTON
Very true.
BROWN
And with the summer season
approaching its tour will be
vigorous. I have told you of the
circus with which we are
connected. Creatures from the
darkest of Africa. Acrobats from
the Orient who--
SOLOMON
You have described it, yes.
BROWN
Magical. It is simply magical. A
constant whirlwind of sights and
sounds. All witnessed by a crush
of humanity, excitement spilling
from their hearts. Yes. We need
to return immediately to
Washington. Solomon...I believe
us familiar enough now, but
forgive me if I am bold...would
you consider making the trip with
us?
Solomon gives a bit of a laugh at the idea.
BROWN (CONT'D)
I realize our promises have fallen
short to this point, but I can
guarantee high wages and an
enthusiastic audience.
HAMILTON
Entertaining at pubs and inns has
it's place, but a man of your
skills deserves better.
BROWN
Hear, hear.
HAMILTON
And more importantly you would
build your own name and following.
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 13.
HAMILTON (CONT'D)
The circus tends to attract those
with the highest of reputations.
An introduction here and there
could amount to a lifetime of
reward. Now would be the time.
With your family away, an
opportunity presents itself.
BROWN
Said as fellow artists as well as
a businessmen. Well worth the
effort at least.
Solomon considers... Clearly their aggrandizing has an
effect on Solomon.
SOLOMON
You present a flattering
representation. How can I say no?
HAMILTON
Oh, very good, sir. Very good. I
cannot recall being so excited.
BROWN
There is a practical concern. If
you are to continue one with us
you should obtain your free
papers.
SOLOMON
Not necessary.
BROWN
Here in New York, no. But we will
be entering slave states and as a
matter of precaution... It's to
all our benefit we should not have
to come to account for your well
being.
HAMILTON
Six shillings worth of effort
could well save much trouble
later.
BROWN
We'll go to the Customs House in
the morning, then travel on. Good
business all around.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a roadside pub, performers Brown and Hamilton lament the poor turnout and lack of tips after their show, while Solomon plays the violin. Brown proposes they return to Washington for a circus gig with better prospects, persuading the hesitant Solomon to consider the opportunity. They agree that Solomon should secure his free papers before traveling to avoid issues in slave states, ending the scene with a mix of disappointment and cautious optimism.
Strengths
  • Effective introduction of new plot point
  • Well-developed character emotions
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant conflict
  • Limited emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 7.5

The scene effectively introduces a new plot point and showcases the characters' emotions and motivations, but lacks significant conflict or emotional impact.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of introducing the circus offer as a new opportunity for Solomon is intriguing and adds depth to the storyline. The scene effectively sets up future developments.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses by introducing the circus offer and showcasing Solomon's decision-making process. However, the lack of significant conflict or high stakes limits the impact of the scene.

Originality: 8

The scene presents a fresh take on the struggles of artists and performers, blending themes of ambition, disappointment, and societal expectations.


Character Development

Characters: 7.5

The characters' emotions and motivations are well portrayed, especially Solomon's internal conflict regarding the circus offer. However, the secondary characters could have been further developed.

Character Changes: 7

Solomon experiences a subtle shift in his mindset as he considers the circus offer, showcasing a potential change in his trajectory.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to find a sense of purpose and fulfillment in his talent for music and performance. He desires recognition and validation for his skills.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to make a living through his performances and to seek better opportunities for his talent.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict in the scene is minimal, primarily revolving around Solomon's internal dilemma about joining the circus troupe.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints and motivations among the characters that drive the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on Solomon's personal decision-making rather than external threats or challenges.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new opportunity for Solomon and setting up future developments with the circus troupe.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in terms of Solomon's decision to join Brown and Hamilton, adding a layer of uncertainty to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the value of art and entertainment in the face of societal challenges. Brown and Hamilton see entertainment as a means to an end, while Solomon values the authenticity and emotional depth of his music.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6.5

The scene evokes some emotions, particularly disappointment and flattery, but lacks a significant emotional punch.

Dialogue: 7.2

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and intentions, particularly in the interactions between Solomon, Brown, and Hamilton. However, some lines could have been more impactful.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the dynamic interactions between the characters and the underlying tension of their conflicting goals.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, leading to a compelling resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions and progression of events.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the disappointment of Solomon and his companions after a lackluster performance, but it could benefit from deeper emotional resonance. The dialogue feels somewhat flat and could be enhanced with more vivid expressions of their feelings about the performance and their aspirations.
  • The contrast between the lively atmosphere of the pub and the characters' disappointment is a strong element, but it could be emphasized further. For instance, incorporating more sensory details about the pub's ambiance—sounds, smells, and sights—could heighten the emotional stakes.
  • While the dialogue conveys the characters' motivations, it lacks subtext. The characters could express their frustrations and hopes in a more nuanced way, allowing the audience to infer their deeper feelings about their situation and the societal context they are in.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The transition from the performance to the discussion about the circus could be smoother. Consider adding a moment of silence or reflection after the performance before diving into the conversation, allowing the audience to absorb the disappointment.
  • The introduction of the idea of obtaining free papers is crucial, but it feels somewhat abrupt. A more gradual build-up to this discussion could enhance its significance, perhaps by first exploring Solomon's feelings about his freedom and the risks involved in traveling through slave states.
Suggestions
  • Add more sensory details to the pub setting to create a richer atmosphere, such as the sounds of laughter, the smell of food, or the sight of patrons engaged in conversation.
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue. Allow characters to express their frustrations and hopes indirectly, using metaphors or anecdotes that reflect their deeper feelings about their circumstances.
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or a reflective pause after the performance to emphasize the disappointment before transitioning to the discussion about the circus.
  • Expand on Solomon's internal conflict regarding the decision to travel with Brown and Hamilton. This could involve a brief flashback or a moment of introspection that highlights his fears and desires.
  • Make the conversation about obtaining free papers more gradual. Start with Solomon expressing confidence in his freedom before Brown and Hamilton introduce the idea, allowing for a more natural progression in the dialogue.



Scene 6 - A Day of Freedom and Reflection
INT. CUSTOM HOUSE - MORNING
We are in a PORT-SIDE BUILDING housing the offices for
the government officials who process paperwork. Solomon
is filling out paperwork as Hamilton and Brown watch. A
CUSTOMS OFFICIAL transcribes the information into a
sizable ledger. He stamps the paper, then hands it back
to Solomon.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 14.

CUSTOMS OFFICIAL
Your free papers, Mr. Northup.
Finished, the Official walks the ledger back to a row of
shelves, and replaces the book among MANY, MANY others.
Though Solomon gives it no thought, it's a little
daunting to consider how precarious his freedom is once
consigned to this ledger.

EXT. WASHINGTON - DAY
Far from the bureaucratic seat of government it is now,
the Washington of the era is as much swampland as city.
Still, the elements that are urban are extraordinary.
The Capital Building, the White House... At this time
the Washington Monument would not yet have been
constructed.
At the moment the populace is displaying both sorrow and
anticipation. Sorrow for the loss of the President and
anticipation of his funeral. Many are dressed in black,
and black crepe hangs nearly everywhere. As well, there
are portraits of Harrison at varying locations.
Having arrived in Washington, Solomon, Hamilton and Brown
RIDE IN ON THEIR CARRIAGE.

INT. GADSBY HOTEL/DINNING ROOM - EVENING
It is a fairly nice hotel. Solomon, Hamilton and Brown
are among several parties eating a meal in the hotel's
dinning room. As with seemingly everywhere in the city
black crepes accessorize the background. Brown counts
out $43.00 on the tabletop. IN COIN. Solomon is
astonished by the amount.
BROWN
Forty-three dollars. All to you.
SOLOMON
That...it's far more than my wages
amount to.
BROWN
An advance from the circus. I
cannot tell you...I honestly wish
you had seen the expression of our
director when I described your
abilities. He was fairly overcome
with excitement.
HAMILTON
You should have invited him to sup
with us.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 15.

BROWN
I did. I did, but so many
preparations before the company is
to depart.
SOLOMON
Gentlemen--
BROWN
Of which I have other news, only
slightly distressing. Our
departure is delayed by a day--
HAMILTON
Oh, Dear...
SOLOMON
You have already been far to
generous.
BROWN
But only a day. All the confusion
with tomorrow's procession makes
departure difficult. Solomon, if
you can tolerate us a day more...
HAMILTON
Oh, yes, Solomon, you did want to
see the city. And how could we
make our way without seeing the
great man pass? One more day,
Solomon. Will you stay on?
Relenting, but happily so:
SOLOMON
What can I say but yes?
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In this scene, Solomon Northup finalizes his freedom paperwork at the Customs House, receiving his free papers from a Customs Official, which highlights the fragility of his newfound liberty. The mood shifts to somber as they arrive in Washington, mourning the President's death. At the Gadsby Hotel, Brown excitedly presents Solomon with a $43 advance from the circus, expressing confidence in his talents. Despite a delay in their departure due to the funeral procession, Solomon chooses to stay an extra day, eager to explore the city.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Historical authenticity
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Low conflict level
  • Limited action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively sets the tone for Solomon's new adventure in Washington while providing insight into the characters' dynamics and the historical context of the era. The dialogue and interactions are engaging, and the scene progresses the plot by introducing new opportunities for Solomon.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Solomon embarking on a new opportunity with the circus in Washington is intriguing and adds depth to his character development. The scene explores themes of freedom, hope, and the challenges faced by African Americans during that time period.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around Solomon's decision to join the circus, setting up future conflicts and opportunities for character growth. It moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and relationships for Solomon to navigate.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on themes of freedom and generosity, with unique character interactions and a focus on bureaucratic processes. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene, particularly Solomon, Brown, and Hamilton, are well-developed and showcase their individual personalities and motivations. The interactions between the characters drive the scene forward and provide insight into their dynamics.

Character Changes: 7

Solomon experiences a subtle shift in his mindset as he decides to stay an extra day in Washington and embrace the opportunity with the circus. This decision marks a turning point in his journey and sets the stage for potential growth and challenges.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the complexities of his newfound freedom and adjust to his changing circumstances. He is grappling with the realization of how precarious his freedom is, which reflects his deeper need for security and stability.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to adapt to his new environment and make the most of his opportunities. He is presented with unexpected generosity and must decide how to respond.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is relatively low, focusing more on anticipation and decision-making rather than intense confrontations. However, there is an underlying tension regarding Solomon's future and the challenges he may face in Washington.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, with Solomon facing unexpected generosity and societal expectations. The audience is left unsure of how Solomon will navigate these challenges.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are moderate, focusing on Solomon's decision to join the circus and the potential risks and rewards that come with this new opportunity. The scene sets up higher stakes for future conflicts and challenges.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new plot elements, conflicts, and opportunities for Solomon. It sets the stage for his next chapter in Washington and establishes key relationships and goals for the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected generosity shown to Solomon and the shifting dynamics between the characters. The audience is left wondering how Solomon will navigate his new circumstances.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around themes of freedom, generosity, and societal expectations. Solomon must navigate his newfound freedom while also considering the expectations and generosity of those around him.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, gratitude, and excitement through the characters' interactions and the historical backdrop of President Harrison's funeral. It sets up emotional stakes for Solomon's journey ahead.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is engaging and reveals the characters' emotions, intentions, and conflicts. It effectively conveys the historical context of the era and sets up future plot developments for Solomon and his companions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic character interactions, unexpected generosity, and the exploration of themes of freedom and societal expectations. The dialogue and descriptive detail draw the audience into the world of the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with well-timed reveals and character interactions. The rhythm of the dialogue and descriptive detail enhance the overall pacing of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the setting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and well-defined character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the bureaucratic atmosphere of the Customs House and the somber mood of Washington during the President's funeral. However, the transition from the Customs House to the external environment could be smoother. The abrupt shift from the indoor setting to the outdoor description feels disjointed and could benefit from a more gradual transition that connects the two locations.
  • The dialogue between Solomon, Brown, and Hamilton is functional but lacks emotional depth. While it conveys necessary information about Solomon's advance and the delay in their departure, it could be enhanced by incorporating more personal stakes or reflections from Solomon regarding his newfound freedom and the implications of the delay. This would help to deepen the audience's connection to his character.
  • The description of the setting is vivid, particularly the imagery of the city adorned in black crepe. However, it could be further enriched by including sensory details that evoke the atmosphere—sounds of the city, the weight of the mourning, or the tension in the air. This would create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • The scene ends on a somewhat anticlimactic note with Solomon's acceptance of the delay. While it is a moment of relief, it lacks a strong emotional punch. A more poignant reflection from Solomon about his circumstances or a moment of doubt could add complexity to his character and enhance the scene's impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of internal reflection for Solomon after receiving his free papers, perhaps contemplating the fragility of his freedom and the weight of the historical context surrounding him. This could deepen the emotional resonance of the scene.
  • Enhance the transition between the Customs House and the external environment by including a line or two that connects Solomon's feelings about his freedom to the somber atmosphere outside. For example, a thought about how the nation's mourning reflects his own internal struggle could create a thematic link.
  • Incorporate more sensory details in the description of Washington during the funeral. Mention the sounds of the crowd, the smell of flowers, or the heaviness in the air to create a more vivid and immersive setting.
  • Strengthen the dialogue by allowing Solomon to express his feelings about the delay in a more personal way. Perhaps he could voice concerns about leaving his family behind or reflect on the uncertainty of his future, which would add depth to his character and the scene.



Scene 7 - A Day of Mourning and Captivity
EXT. WASHINGTON AVENUE - DAY
It is the day of the funeral procession. Despite the
pall, there is, too, a great pageant on display.
Harrison is, after all, the first American Head of State
to die while in office. There is the roar of cannon and
the tolling of bells.
We see the FUNERAL PROCESSION: carriage after carriage in
long succession with thousands following on foot - all
moving to the sound of melancholy music. Though solemn,
it is very much parade like with the populace pushing and
shoving to get a better look at the procession as it
passes. Solomon, Hamilton and Brown among them.

INT. PUB - LATER
A decent though crowded, smoke-filled joint. Very
lively. Solomon is with Hamilton and Brown, who again
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 16.

drink. Solomon seems far more interested in heading out
to take in the city. The pair must talk over the crowd:
SOLOMON
May we see the President's House?
HAMILTON
Eh?
SOLOMON
You said yesterday we might go and
visit--
HAMILTON
Far too crowded at the moment. We
have time for that, Solomon. All
day. A great man has passed.
Remember him with a drink.
Both Hamilton and Brown hold up their canters to drink.
Solomon, a bit reluctantly, does the same.
BROWN
Another. Our departed President
deserves all the salutation we can
imbibe.
Hamilton and Brown drink again, and Solomon does as well.

EXT. ALLEY - LATER
WE MAKE A HARD CUT to Solomon outside of the Pub, in an
alley, with Brown and Hamilton. He is violently ill,
hunched over and retching horribly.
HAMILTON
That's all right Solomon. No
shame in it. No shame at all.
SOLOMON
I'm not...uugh...not much of a
drinker.
HAMILTON
Just let those ill feelings out.
BROWN
Suppose we won't be going to the
Presidential Mansion. Shame.
HAMILTON
It is. Tis a damn shame. All the
more if Solomon can't summon
himself. We need to get you to
where you can rest.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 17.

INT. GADSBY HOTEL/SOLOMON'S ROOM - NIGHT
Hamilton is placing a spittoon near Solomon's bed, where
a prone and reeling Solomon lays. Hamilton sits on the
bed. As he strokes Solomon's sweaty face, Hamilton
speaks sweetly.
HAMILTON
I'm afraid that Brown and I
haven't brought you much luck.
But rough waters bring smooth
sailing. Eventually they do.
SOLOMON
....So...so sorry...
HAMILTON
Shhh. We won't hear it. We
won't.
BROWN
Let him sleep.
HAMILTON
Hmm. A good night's sleep. And
tomorrow...tomorrow you will feel
as well and refreshed as though
the earth were new again.
Hamilton lingers a bit too long and a bit too close to
Solomon for Brown's taste. With more than a bit of
signification:
BROWN
Hamilton! Nothing more we can do
for him.
Displaying an odd sort of disappointment, Hamilton slinks
away from the bed. He crosses to, and BLOWS OUT A
CANDLE. The room goes dark with a blackness more than
night. Brown and Hamilton exit. Solomon lays in the
dark and moans. His sounds becoming MORE AND MORE
DISTRESSED. It's a wonder if he can make it through the
night.

INT. GADSBY HOTEL/HALLWAY - LATER
The door to Solomon's room creeps open. Disheveled,
Solomon ekes out into the hallway. His clothes are
soaked with his own sweat and stained with vomit.
Gingerly, unsteadily, Solomon makes his way through the
space. The hotel seeming oddly - and creepily - empty at
the moment. Eventually, Solomon arrives to a KITCHEN
where he comes upon some "COLORED" SERVANTS. Solomon
does everything in his power to right himself. Despite
being sweaty and covered in his own bile, Solomon works -
actually struggles - to make himself seem presentable.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 18.

SOLOMON
Water, please. May I have water?
A FEMALE SERVANT pours a glass of water which Solomon
gulps down, spilling as much on himself as actually
taking in.
GADSBY SERVANT
More, sir?
Again working to be proper:
SOLOMON
It's sufficient.
As he came in, Solomon makes the same effort to propel
himself from the space.

INT. GADSBY HOTEL/SOLOMON'S ROOM - LATER
Solomon is back in bed. From his moans and cries it is
quite plain that a single glass of water was not
sufficient to ease his pain by any means. From the
noises he makes, Solomon sounds as though he's in a fever
dream.
As Solomon reels, THE DOOR TO HIS ROOM OPENS. THREE
FIGURES ENTER. Backlit as they are, we cannot discern
their features. We can tell only that they are men of
decent size. They take hold of Solomon and carry him
away, Solomon too weak and feverish to resist. THE DOOR
CLOSES RETURNING THE ROOM TO DARKNESS.

INT. BURCH'S DUNGEON - MORNING
Solomon stirs, then slowly awakes to his new
circumstances. He finds himself in a nearly lightless
room about twelve feet square with walls of solid
masonry. There is a thick and well-locked door, a small
window covered with iron bars and a shutter. The only
furniture is a wood stool and an old fashioned, dirty box
stove. As Solomon rises he sees that he is in chains,
his HANDS CUFFED - the chain running to a bolt in the
ground - and his LEGS IN IRONS. At first Solomon is
incredulous. But that emotion is replaced first by fury
and then panic. He begins to pull on the chains, fight
against them. He does so with increasing desperation.
Solomon flails about, the sounds of the steel chains
whipping and beating against the masonry. He grunts and
screams without regard as the cuffs and irons bite into
his flesh, but he cannot pull himself free.
After several minutes of intense effort, Solomon tires,
slows, then finally he collapses. And in this collapsed
state he remains.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 19.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary The scene unfolds during the funeral procession for Harrison, the first American Head of State to die in office, where Solomon, Hamilton, and Brown gather to pay their respects. Solomon wishes to visit the President's House, but Hamilton discourages him due to the crowd. They honor the deceased president with drinks at a pub, but Solomon becomes violently ill and is taken outside by his friends. In their hotel room, Hamilton comforts the distressed Solomon, who later seeks water from colored servants. However, he is suddenly captured by three unidentified men and wakes up in a dark dungeon, chained and panicked.
Strengths
  • Effective tone and atmosphere
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Compelling character development
Weaknesses
  • Some dialogue could be more nuanced
  • Pacing in certain sections

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a shift in tone and emotion, keeping the audience engaged and invested in Solomon's plight. The sudden change in circumstances adds depth to the character and sets up a compelling conflict.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing a sudden and drastic change in Solomon's circumstances adds depth to the character and drives the narrative forward. The scene effectively explores themes of powerlessness and injustice.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progression in the scene is crucial in setting up the central conflict and establishing the stakes for Solomon. The shift in tone and setting adds layers to the narrative and keeps the audience engaged.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on historical events and societal norms, portraying the complexities of race, class, and identity in a nuanced way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and contribute to the overall authenticity of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Solomon, are well-developed in this scene, with their emotions and motivations clearly portrayed. The interactions between the characters drive the tension and highlight their vulnerabilities.

Character Changes: 8

Solomon undergoes a significant change in this scene, transitioning from a position of relative comfort to one of extreme vulnerability and despair. The experience shapes his character and sets up his arc.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to maintain composure and dignity despite feeling ill and overwhelmed by the events around him. This reflects his deeper need for self-preservation and resilience in the face of adversity.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to navigate the social expectations and interactions during the funeral procession and later at the pub, while also dealing with his physical illness. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges he's facing as a free man in a society that may not treat him as such.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and emotionally charged, as Solomon grapples with his imprisonment and the loss of his freedom. The internal and external conflicts drive the narrative forward and heighten the stakes.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with societal expectations, personal struggles, and physical illness all posing obstacles for the protagonist. The audience is left uncertain of how Solomon will navigate these challenges.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as Solomon faces the loss of his freedom and the threat of prolonged imprisonment. The consequences of his situation are dire, adding urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a major conflict and setting up the central dilemma for Solomon. The narrative progression is crucial in building tension and suspense.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turns in character interactions, the shifting emotional dynamics, and the uncertain outcomes for the protagonist. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how events will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

There is a philosophical conflict evident in the scene between the societal expectations of mourning and celebration, and Solomon's personal struggle with illness and social interactions. This challenges his beliefs about his own agency and identity in a society that may not fully recognize his humanity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, fear, and desperation in the audience. The portrayal of Solomon's vulnerability and despair resonates strongly with the viewers.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions and adds depth to their interactions. The conversations reflect the shifting dynamics and tensions among the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, character dynamics, and thematic complexity. The tension and conflict keep the audience invested in the characters' struggles and the unfolding narrative.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, allowing for moments of emotional intensity and character development. The rhythm of the scene contributes to its overall effectiveness in conveying the protagonist's struggles and challenges.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue formatting. It enhances the readability and visual clarity of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the progression of events and character interactions. It maintains a cohesive narrative flow and builds tension effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the somber atmosphere of a funeral procession while juxtaposing it with the lively pub scene, highlighting Solomon's internal conflict between societal expectations and personal desires. However, the transition between the two settings could be smoother to maintain narrative flow.
  • The dialogue between Solomon, Hamilton, and Brown serves to establish character dynamics, but it lacks depth in exploring Solomon's feelings about the funeral and his situation. More introspection or emotional dialogue could enhance the audience's connection to Solomon's character.
  • The depiction of Solomon's illness is visceral and impactful, but it could benefit from more visual cues or sensory details to immerse the audience further in his physical state. Describing the sounds, smells, or sights around him could heighten the tension and empathy.
  • The introduction of the colored servants in the kitchen is a significant moment, yet it feels rushed. This encounter could be expanded to explore the social dynamics and Solomon's feelings of shame and desperation more thoroughly, adding layers to the narrative.
  • The abrupt cut to Solomon waking up in chains is shocking and effective, but the buildup to this moment could be enhanced. Providing more context or foreshadowing about the dangers Solomon faces would create a stronger emotional impact when he realizes his captivity.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Solomon during the funeral procession, allowing him to express his thoughts on freedom, loss, or the significance of the event, which would deepen his character development.
  • Enhance the dialogue in the pub scene to include more banter or conflict between the characters, showcasing their differing perspectives on the funeral and their plans, which could create a more engaging dynamic.
  • Incorporate more sensory details during Solomon's illness to vividly portray his suffering, such as the sounds of the pub, the taste of bile, or the oppressive heat, to draw the audience into his experience.
  • Expand the interaction with the colored servants to explore themes of solidarity and shared suffering, perhaps including a brief exchange that highlights their awareness of Solomon's plight and the societal constraints they all face.
  • Consider adding a moment of foreshadowing before Solomon's capture, such as a brief encounter with suspicious characters or a warning from a fellow patron, to build tension and anticipation for the shocking turn of events.



Scene 8 - Defiance in Darkness
INT. BURCH'S DUNGEON - LATER
Solomon again awakens. He hears sounds beyond the
door...footsteps. Eventually the door opens. Enter
JAMES BURCH - who runs the slave pen - and EBENEZER
RADBURN who works as a turnkey and overseer.
As the door opens, this is the first light to seep into
the otherwise near-black room. The shine is painful to
Solomon's eyes. With no salutation whatsoever, Burch
asks:
BURCH
Well, my boy, how yah feel now?
Solomon rises up as best he can. With all the resolve he
can put together he states what he considers to be fact:
SOLOMON
I am Solomon Northup. I am a free
man; a resident of Saratoga, New
York. The residence also of my
wife and children who are equally
free. I have papers. You have no
right whatsoever to detain me--
BURCH
Yah not any--
SOLOMON
And I promise you - I promise -
upon my liberation I will have
satisfaction for this wrong.
BURCH
Yah no free man. And yah ain't
from Saratoga. Yah from Georgia.
A moment. Not a word spoken among the trio, but Solomon
and Burch do some serious eye fucking, neither man
yielding. Burch says again:
BURCH (CONT'D)
Yah ain't a free man. Yah nothin'
but a Georgia runaway.
Burch waits for Solomon to acquiesce. Solomon does not
in any way. Both men exchange a long and daring stare.
They are clearly at an intellectual stand off. Burch,
leans to Radburn, SAYS SOMETHING WHICH WE CANNOT
DISTINGUISH.
Radburn exits the room, his physical absence is a long
moment. But all the while WE CAN HEAR Radburn's footfall
and his rummaging in the next room. The unseen is
disquieting.
Finally Radburn returns with a pair of "instruments:" a
paddle - the flattened portion, which is about the size
in circumference of two open hands, and bored with a
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 20.

small auger in numerous places. He also carries a whip.
A cat-o-nine tails; a large rope of many strands. The
strands unraveled and a knot tied at the extremity of
each. Burch says again:
BURCH (CONT'D)
Yah a runaway nigger from Georgia.
Solomon stands with a quiet stoicism. He will say
nothing of the kind.
As that is the case, Solomon is seized by both men, and
roughly divested of his clothing. He is pulled over the
bench, face downward. Radburn then STEPS ON HIS CHAINS
holding Solomon down in a bent position.
With no preamble, Burch begins to beat Solomon about the
back with the paddle. Burch strikes him wordlessly - no
taunting, no sneering. Solomon screaming against each
blow. His back immediately SWELLING WITH WELTS AND
BRUISES.
This beating continues on and on and on until quite
literally Burch WEARS HIMSELF OUT with the effort.
Dripping in sweat and panting:
BURCH (CONT'D)
Yah still insist yah a free man?
SOLOMON
...I...I insist...
Burch regrets hearing this. Not from sympathy, but
rather because he's nearly too tired to go back to
beating Solomon. Yet, as if returning to work, Burch
returns to pummeling Solomon. This time Burch punctuates
the blows with:
BURCH
Yah a slave. Yah a Georgia slave!
Burch continues to strike, and strike... This time until
the paddle SNAPS IN HALF. Burch then GRABS THE WHIP.
Hardly missing a stroke, he whips Solomon relentlessly,
the flails cutting into Solomon's back. Again, Burch's
arm tires before Solomon "breaks."
BURCH (CONT'D)
Are yah slave?
SOLOMON
...No...
BURCH
Are yah slave!
Nothing from Solomon. Burch goes back to whipping and
whipping, and whipping... SOLOMON'S BACK IS NOW TORN
OPEN WITH LACERATIONS AND OOZING WITH BLOOD. Finally
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 21.

Burch can whip no more. As he pours sweat and sucks air
he chastises a limp Solomon:
BURCH (CONT'D)
I don't want to hear any more shit
about you bein' "entitled" to your
freedom, about being kidnapped or
anythin' whatever of the kind. I
swear what yah jus' got'll pale to
what ya'll receive.
Taking up their instruments Burch exits. Radburn lingers
for a moment. He takes the irons off Solomon's legs.
Opens the window some. As he makes these gestures, in a
patronizing and confidential manner, one wrought with
poor sincerity::
RADBURN
I seen a good many of the black
kind just where yah're; on the
floor face down and back bleedin'.
Sick. Make me sick. Often times
the situation was resolved, and I
think; what was all the beatin'
and abuse for? Things end as they
should, and the violence was for
naught. So why cause trouble when
they ain't no cause for it? Be of
a cooperative nature, and things
don't need be particularly
unpleasant.
(beat)
Or, yah can carry on like yah
been, and I fear yah won't live to
see Sunday next.
With that thought, Radburn exits. Solomon rests. But to
rest seems like giving in to defeat. He begins pulling
on his chains. But for all his struggling, the chain
loosens none. Solomon calls out:
SOLOMON
Help me! Someone help me!
If anyone at all hears him, they do not respond. Solomon
continues his plaintiff cry for assistance.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a dark dungeon, Solomon Northup awakens to confront James Burch and Ebenezer Radburn, who deny his identity as a free man and brutally beat him into submission. Despite his protests and insistence on his freedom, Solomon endures severe violence as Burch demands he admit to being a slave. Radburn patronizes Solomon, suggesting cooperation could spare him further pain. The scene culminates with Solomon, injured and defeated, calling out for help in a tense and despairing atmosphere, but receiving no response.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Powerful performances
  • High-stakes conflict
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Disturbing imagery

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is incredibly powerful and impactful, effectively conveying the brutality and injustice faced by Solomon. The tension, emotion, and conflict are palpable, making it a standout moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on the dehumanizing interrogation of a free man turned slave, is compelling and thought-provoking. It delves deep into themes of power, identity, and resilience.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial as it marks a turning point in Solomon's journey, highlighting the harsh reality of his situation and setting the stage for his internal and external struggles.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic portrayal of the brutality of slavery, with realistic dialogue and actions that convey the psychological and physical impact of oppression.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Solomon, Burch, and Radburn, are well-developed and their actions and motivations are clear. The emotional depth and conflict between them drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 9

Solomon undergoes a significant change in this scene, from defiance and resilience to vulnerability and despair as he faces the brutal interrogation. The trauma and pain he experiences shape his character arc moving forward.

Internal Goal: 9

Solomon's internal goal is to assert his identity and maintain his sense of self-worth and dignity in the face of brutal dehumanization and violence.

External Goal: 8

Solomon's external goal is to resist being physically and mentally broken by his captors and to survive the brutal punishment inflicted upon him.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The conflict in the scene is intense and multifaceted, involving physical, emotional, and psychological struggles between the characters. The power dynamics and stakes are high, driving the tension to its peak.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in the scene is strong and difficult to overcome, with the protagonist facing brutal physical and psychological challenges that test his resolve and resilience.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes in the scene are incredibly high, as Solomon's freedom, identity, and even his life are on the line. The brutal interrogation raises the stakes to a critical level, intensifying the conflict and drama.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by revealing the harsh reality of Solomon's situation, deepening the conflict, and setting the stage for his internal and external struggles. It marks a crucial turning point in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and the unexpected escalation of violence, keeping the audience on edge and uncertain of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the belief in freedom, dignity, and self-identity versus the dehumanizing and oppressive system of slavery that seeks to erase individuality and autonomy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a profound emotional impact on the audience, evoking fear, empathy, and outrage at the injustice and brutality faced by Solomon. The raw emotion and vulnerability displayed make it a gut-wrenching moment.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is sparse but impactful, conveying the power dynamics and emotional turmoil between the characters effectively. The silence and actions speak volumes in this intense interrogation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense and emotional content, drawing the audience into the harrowing experience of the protagonist and creating a sense of urgency and suspense.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict and violence that keeps the audience engaged and emotionally invested.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear descriptions of the setting, characters, and actions that enhance the visual and emotional impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured progression of events that build tension and highlight the power dynamics between the characters, effectively conveying the brutality of the situation.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the brutality of Solomon's situation and the power dynamics between him and his captors, Burch and Radburn. The physicality of the violence is visceral and impactful, drawing the audience into Solomon's suffering. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext; while the confrontation is intense, the exchanges between Solomon and Burch feel somewhat one-dimensional. Adding layers to their dialogue could enhance the emotional stakes and provide deeper insight into their characters.
  • The pacing of the scene is relentless, which works well to convey the brutality of the beating. However, there are moments where the rhythm could be varied to allow the audience to absorb the gravity of Solomon's plight. For instance, after Burch tires from beating Solomon, a brief pause for reflection could heighten the tension and emphasize Solomon's resilience.
  • The use of physical props, such as the paddle and whip, is effective in illustrating the violence of the scene. However, the description of these instruments could be more vivid to evoke a stronger emotional response from the audience. Instead of merely stating their appearance, consider incorporating sensory details that convey their weight and the fear they instill in Solomon.
  • Radburn's character could be fleshed out further. His patronizing demeanor adds a layer of complexity, but his motivations remain unclear. Providing a glimpse into his background or his own struggles could make him a more compelling antagonist, rather than just a sidekick to Burch.
  • The scene concludes with Solomon's cries for help, which is powerful but could be enhanced by showing the physical and emotional toll of his situation more explicitly. Instead of simply stating that he calls out for help, consider illustrating his desperation through his physical state or internal thoughts, which would deepen the audience's connection to his suffering.
Suggestions
  • Revise the dialogue to include more subtext and emotional depth, allowing for a richer exploration of the characters' motivations and backgrounds.
  • Incorporate moments of pause or reflection during the beating to allow the audience to absorb the gravity of Solomon's situation and enhance the emotional impact.
  • Enhance the descriptions of the paddle and whip with sensory details that evoke their weight and the fear they instill, making the violence feel more immediate and visceral.
  • Develop Radburn's character further by providing insights into his motivations or background, making him a more complex antagonist rather than a mere enforcer of Burch's brutality.
  • Show Solomon's physical and emotional state more vividly during his cries for help, perhaps by illustrating his exhaustion or despair, to deepen the audience's connection to his suffering.



Scene 9 - Despair in Captivity
EXT. BURCH'S DUNGEON - CONTINUOUS
Beginning with a TIGHT SHOT on the shuttered, barred
window of Burch's dungeon - Solomon's cries barely eking
beyond the space - THE CAMERA PULLS BACK from the
building, onto the city until clearly visible is the
Nation's capital. It's icon's of freedom - the WHITE
HOUSE, the CAPITAL BUILDING - fairly mocking Solomon's
captivity.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 22.

INT. BURCH'S DUNGEON - DAY
IT IS DAY NOW. The door to the yard is thrown open. The
harsh white light floods all over Solomon. He steps out
into a YARD.

EXT. BURCH'S DUNGEON/YARD - CONTINUOUS
It is a yard just beyond Burch's. The yard is hemmed in
by a brick wall. In the yard are two men, and a boy.
The oldest is CLEMENS RAY a man of about 25 years of age.
He is well educated, but overwhelmed with fear by the
situation. JOHN WILLIAMS is about 20 years old. He is
born and bred a slave, and is lacking in education.
Finally there is a child about 10 years of age who
answers to the name of Randall. Randall is running
around the yard chasing a butterfly.
For a long moment the three men just stare at each other,
wary of one another. Though they are clearly in similar
circumstances, for the moment they choose to keep their
distance.
Radburn is ever present, though he remains off to one
side.
Randall runs up to Solomon, asks rather innocently:
RANDALL
Do you know when my mama will
come?
Solomon doesn't know what to say. Before he has a chance
to answer Radburn crosses over and shoos Randall away.
RADBURN
Get away from him.
RANDALL
When will my mama come?
RADBURN
Yah hear? Get.
Randall runs off. The three men maintain their distance.

INT. BURCH'S DUNGEON - EVENING
Radburn brings food into Solomon, the shriveled meat and
some water. Just barely enough to sustain Solomon. This
time Radburn also has a SHIRT.
RADBURN
Brought a shirt. That old thing
of yours is just rags and tatters.
Need something proper to wear.
Solomon doesn't move for the clothing.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 23.

RADBURN (CONT'D)
Go'won. Put it on.
With slow defiance, Solomon does as instructed. He
removes what remains of his old shirt - the one he was
wearing when first kidnapped - and puts on the one
Radburn brought him. The shirt's ill-fitting and dirty.
Despite that, Radburn says:
RADBURN (CONT'D)
There. Tha's fine. Tha's fine.
Got no gratitude?
SOLOMON
...Thank you...
RADBURN
Yah keep bein' proper, yah'll see
how things work out.
Radburn starts to take the old shirt.
SOLOMON
No! It was from my wife.
RADBURN
Rags and tatters. Rags and
tatters.
Taking the shirt, the "rags and tatters" as he calls
them, Radburn exits, locking the door behind him.
Solomon sits with the plate of food before him. He
pushes the plate away rather than eat.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a stark contrast between freedom and confinement, Solomon cries from a barred window in Burch's dungeon. He is brought into a yard where he meets fellow captives Clemens Ray, John Williams, and a boy named Randall, who innocently inquires about his mother. Authority figure Radburn dismisses Randall and brings Solomon meager food and a shirt, which Solomon hesitantly accepts, clinging to his old shirt from his wife. The scene culminates in Solomon pushing the food away, symbolizing his deep despair and refusal to accept his grim reality.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
  • Tension building
Weaknesses
  • Limited dialogue
  • Lack of external context

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of Solomon's situation, the tension between the characters, and the sense of hopelessness and defiance. It sets a strong tone for the narrative and engages the audience with its raw portrayal of captivity.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of captivity and defiance is central to the scene, driving the character dynamics and emotional arc. It explores themes of oppression, survival, and resistance, adding depth to Solomon's character and the overall narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on Solomon's struggle in captivity and his defiance against his oppressors. It moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges he faces and the emotional toll of his situation.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the theme of slavery, portraying the internal struggles and resilience of the protagonist in a compelling and authentic manner.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with clear motivations and conflicts driving their actions. Solomon's defiance and resilience shine through, while Radburn's cruelty adds depth to the antagonist dynamic.

Character Changes: 8

Solomon undergoes a significant emotional change in the scene, transitioning from defiance to desperation as he faces the harsh reality of his captivity. His resilience is tested, adding depth to his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to maintain his dignity and sense of self in the face of dehumanizing treatment. This reflects his deeper need for autonomy and identity.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to survive and endure his captivity, navigating the challenges and threats posed by his environment and captors.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense, with power struggles, emotional turmoil, and physical violence driving the character interactions. The stakes are high, and the tension between the characters adds depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing internal and external challenges that test his resilience and determination.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with Solomon's freedom and survival on the line. The power dynamics between the characters and the emotional turmoil add intensity to the narrative, raising the stakes for the protagonist.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges Solomon faces in captivity and setting up the power dynamics between the characters. It establishes the emotional stakes and adds depth to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in its character interactions and outcomes, keeping the audience on edge and uncertain about the protagonist's fate.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between maintaining one's humanity and succumbing to the dehumanizing effects of slavery. It challenges Solomon's beliefs in dignity and resilience.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, fear, and defiance in the audience. It effectively conveys the emotional turmoil of the characters and the harsh reality of Solomon's captivity, engaging the audience on a visceral level.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the power dynamics between the characters and enhances the emotional impact of the situation. It captures the desperation and defiance of Solomon, adding depth to the character interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional depth, compelling character dynamics, and thematic richness that captivate the audience's attention.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, creating a sense of urgency and intensity that drives the narrative forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for the genre, enhancing the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the protagonist's internal and external goals, as well as the philosophical conflict, in a clear and engaging manner.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the contrast between Solomon's dire situation and the symbols of freedom represented by the capital city. This juxtaposition is powerful and serves to heighten the emotional stakes of Solomon's captivity.
  • The introduction of new characters, Clemens Ray, John Williams, and Randall, adds depth to the scene, showcasing the varied backgrounds and emotional states of those trapped in similar circumstances. However, their interactions could be further developed to enhance the sense of camaraderie or tension among them.
  • Radburn's character is portrayed as a cruel authority figure, and his dialogue effectively conveys his disdain for Solomon. However, his motivations could be explored more deeply to create a more complex antagonist. Why does he take pleasure in dehumanizing Solomon? Adding layers to his character could enhance the conflict.
  • The dialogue between Solomon and Radburn is minimal, which works to convey Solomon's despair and defiance. However, incorporating more internal monologue or reflective thoughts from Solomon could provide insight into his emotional state and resilience, making his struggle more relatable to the audience.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly uneven. The initial tension of Solomon's cries for help is compelling, but the transition to the yard and the introduction of new characters could be smoother. Consider using more visual storytelling or action to maintain momentum and keep the audience engaged.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of interaction between Solomon and the other men in the yard to establish their shared plight and create a sense of solidarity or tension. This could deepen the emotional impact of their situation.
  • Explore Radburn's character further by adding a line or two that hints at his backstory or motivations. This could make him a more nuanced antagonist and provide a richer conflict for Solomon.
  • Incorporate Solomon's internal thoughts or reflections during the scene to give the audience a deeper understanding of his emotional turmoil and resilience. This could be done through voiceover or visual cues that reflect his mental state.
  • Smooth out the pacing by ensuring that transitions between moments feel natural. Consider using visual elements, such as the changing light or sounds from outside, to enhance the atmosphere and maintain tension throughout the scene.
  • Enhance the symbolism of the old shirt by having Solomon hold onto it longer or express more emotion about it before Radburn takes it away. This could amplify the sense of loss and connection to his past.



Scene 10 - Stripped of Dignity
EXT. BURCH'S DUNGEON/YARD - DAY
Solomon, Clemens Ray, John and Randall are in the yard.
ALL STAND NAKED. Though they try to cover their privates
a bit, they are all aware of the uselessness of modesty.
Radburn is present. He has before him A COUPLE OF
BUCKETS OF COLD WATER. He throws water on the naked men.
RADBURN
Go on. Warsh up.
The men, soaking in humility as well as water, begin to
scrub with A SINGLE HARSH BAR OF SOAP passed among them.
RADBURN (CONT'D)
The boy, too. Get him clean.
Solomon takes some soap and rubs it over Randall.
RADBURN (CONT'D)
Scrub now. Git 'em clean.
Solomon scrubs harder. Randall - clearly cold and
uncomfortable - begins to cry, becoming nearly
inconsolable.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 24.

RANDALL
Mama...! Mama! Is she going to
come?
RADBURN
Hush him up!
Doing all he can to spare the child from a certain
beating:
SOLOMON
Quiet, please.
RANDALL
Mama!
RADBURN
Shut him up!
Saying anything to keep the boy quiet:
SOLOMON
Your mother will come, I swear she
will, but you must be silent.
Please. Be silent!
On the seeming strength of Solomon's promise, Randall
goes silent. Solomon looks to Radburn, who just throws
water on the soapy men.

INT. BURCH'S DUNGEON - EVENING
Again Solomon sits alone in his dungeon. Again a plate
with a shriveled piece of meat is brought in by Radburn
and set before him. And yet again Solomon pushes the
plate away. A moment after Radburn leaves, then Solomon
PICKS UP THE PORK AND BEGINS TO FEED ON IT. It's as if
he's resigned himself to his circumstances. As he eats
on the meat we hear:
SOLOMON (V.O.)
This can't stand. It is a crime.

EXT. BURCH'S DUNGEON/YARD - DAY
Sitting together out in the yard are Clemens Ray, John
and Solomon. Over time they have drawn trustworthy
enough to speak with one another. At the moment Solomon
is still trying to apply reason to the situation.
Randall wanders about in the background. As usual, he
calls out for his "Mama." By now, however, his calls
should feel like little more than background noise.
SOLOMON
I believe now someone lay in wait
for me. My drink was altered...
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 25.
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
We are free men. They have...they
have no right to hold us.
Solomon waits for a response from the others. They give
none.
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
We need a sympathetic ear. If we
have an opportunity to explain our
situation, it is impossible for me
to believe men could be so unjust
to detain us as slaves once the
truth of our case is known.
CLEMENS
Who in your estimation is that
sympathetic ear?
SOLOMON
The two men I journeyed with;
Brown and Hamilton. I'm certain
they're making inquires at this
very moment.
CLEMENS
I would be just as certain they
are counting the money paid for
delivering you to this place.
SOLOMON
They were not kidnappers. They
were artists. They were
performers.
CLEMENS
You know that?
SOLOMON
I...I have no reason to--
CLEMENS
You know for certain who they
were?

FLASHBACK
Very quickly, we get an MOS glimpse from Solomon's POV of
BROWN PERFORMING BACK AT THE TAVERN. His act is shit,
and with 20/20 hindsight perhaps it is even a bit
shittier than we recall. The man an artist? Hardly.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the yard of Burch's dungeon, Solomon, Clemens Ray, John, and Randall are forced to wash naked under the cruel supervision of Radburn, who enforces silence and humiliation. Solomon comforts the crying Randall, assuring him that his mother will come, despite Radburn's hostility. Later, in the dungeon, Solomon reluctantly eats a meal, reflecting his resignation to their dire situation. He expresses hope for rescue from Brown and Hamilton, but his companions remain skeptical, highlighting the struggle for dignity and hope amidst their enslavement.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Intense conflict
  • Resilience theme
Weaknesses
  • Depiction of violence may be triggering for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the harsh reality of Solomon's situation, his unwavering belief in his freedom, and the emotional turmoil he experiences.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of wrongful enslavement and the characters' struggle for freedom is compelling and drives the emotional core of the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Solomon and the other men navigate their unjust captivity, setting the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and unflinching look at the brutality of slavery, with authentic dialogue and emotional depth. The characters' actions and dialogue feel genuine and impactful.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Solomon, are well-developed and their emotional depth shines through in their interactions and responses to the situation.

Character Changes: 8

Solomon undergoes a significant emotional transformation as he grapples with his unjust captivity and maintains his belief in freedom.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to protect and comfort Randall, a child who is clearly distressed and longing for his mother. This reflects Solomon's deeper desire for compassion and humanity in a cruel and unjust world.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to find a sympathetic ear among his fellow captives and convince them of their rights as free men. This reflects the immediate challenge of asserting their humanity and seeking justice in a system that dehumanizes them.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict is intense as Solomon and the other men face physical and emotional abuse, highlighting the stakes of their fight for freedom.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing internal and external challenges that test their beliefs and values. The uncertainty of their fate adds to the tension and conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Solomon and the other men fight for their freedom in the face of brutal mistreatment and injustice.

Story Forward: 8

The scene propels the story forward by deepening the conflict, showcasing the characters' resilience, and setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the emotional turmoil and shifting power dynamics among the characters. The audience is unsure of how the interactions will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Solomon's belief in the inherent rights of free men and Clemens' cynical view of human nature and the reality of their situation as slaves. This challenges Solomon's values of justice and fairness in the face of oppression.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, eliciting empathy for the characters' plight and their unwavering spirit.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions, beliefs, and conflicts, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the harsh reality of slavery and the characters' emotional struggles. The tension and conflict keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, with moments of quiet reflection and intense conflict. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is formatted appropriately and enhances the emotional depth of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions and the power dynamics at play in the slave dungeon yard. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the tension and emotional impact of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the humiliation and despair of Solomon and the other captives through their nakedness and the harsh treatment by Radburn. However, the emotional weight could be enhanced by deepening the character interactions, particularly between Solomon and Randall. The dialogue could include more personal reassurances from Solomon that reflect his own pain and desperation, making their bond more poignant.
  • The transition between the yard and the dungeon feels abrupt. The scene could benefit from a smoother flow that connects Solomon's physical suffering in the yard with his emotional turmoil in the dungeon. This could be achieved by incorporating more internal monologue or visual cues that reflect Solomon's mental state as he moves from one setting to another.
  • The dialogue in the yard, while functional, lacks a sense of urgency and emotional depth. Solomon's assertions about their freedom and the need for a sympathetic ear could be more passionate and desperate, reflecting the gravity of their situation. The skepticism from Clemens could also be more pronounced to create a stronger contrast between hope and despair.
  • The use of Randall's cries for his mother serves as a powerful emotional anchor, but it could be more effectively integrated into the dialogue. Instead of allowing his cries to fade into the background, Solomon could respond more directly to Randall's pleas, showcasing his own internal conflict and helplessness.
  • The flashback to Brown's performance feels somewhat disconnected from the current scene. It could be more impactful if it were woven into the dialogue or Solomon's thoughts, providing a clearer connection between his past experiences and his current predicament.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the emotional connection between Solomon and Randall by including more dialogue that reflects Solomon's own fears and hopes, making their relationship more relatable and poignant.
  • Create a smoother transition between the yard and dungeon scenes by incorporating visual or auditory elements that reflect Solomon's mental state, such as his thoughts or memories as he moves between settings.
  • Revise the dialogue to include more urgency and emotional depth, particularly in Solomon's assertions about their freedom and the need for help, to better convey the gravity of their situation.
  • Integrate Randall's cries more directly into the dialogue, allowing Solomon to respond in a way that highlights his internal struggle and desire to protect the child.
  • Rework the flashback to Brown's performance so that it is more seamlessly connected to Solomon's current thoughts or dialogue, reinforcing the theme of betrayal and lost trust.



Scene 11 - Shadows of Hope and Despair
EXT. YARD - CONTINUOUS
Solomon's got to reconcile that recollection of his.
Brown sure wasn't a performer of any merit. More like a
charlatan. As Solomon considers that fact, Clemens
states very plainly:
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 26.

CLEMENS
How I reckon the situation:
whatever past we had...well,
that's done now. The reality to
come is us being transported
southward. New Orleans if I were
to venture. After we arrive,
we'll be put to market.
Clemens Ray chokes a bit. The horrid fate waiting for
them becoming quite clear to him.
CLEMENS (CONT'D)
Beyond that... Well, once in a
slave state I suppose there's only
one outcome.
John's anxiety grows.
JOHN
No.
CLEMENS
I don't say that to give you empty
agitation...
JOHN
For y'all. For y'all they ain't
nothin' but that! But John was'n
kidnapped. John bein' hold as
debt, tha's all. Massa pay his
debt, and John be redeemed--
CLEMENS
Boy--
John is nearly beside himself with panic.
JOHN
Now John's...John's sorry for
y'all, but tha's how it be. Where
y'all goin', yah goin' witout
John. Massa take care of me.
Massa take care.
RANDALL
Mama!
All three men turn and look. At the moment Randall
doesn't call out emptily. At the door to the yard is
Burch along with two women. One in her late twenties;
ELIZA. She is "arrayed in silk, with rings upon her
fingers, and golden ornaments suspended from her ears."
Though a slave, Eliza was a mistress and has - to this
point - lived well. This is reflected in her airs and
her speech. The other is a little girl, light in skin
color, of about seven or eight. This is EMILY, Randall's
half sister.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 27.

As she enters the yard Eliza squeals with high delight,
then breaks into tears of both sorrow and joy. Clearly
this is mother and child being reunited.
As Burch locks the yard door, Eliza clutches both her
children. She is overcome with emotion.
ELIZA
My darlings. My sweet, sweet
babes.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a tense yard on a plantation, Solomon confronts the harsh reality of impending transport to New Orleans as Clemens explains their grim fate as slaves. John panics, clinging to the hope of being spared due to his debt slave status, while Clemens emphasizes the seriousness of their situation. The atmosphere shifts when Randall calls out, leading to an emotional reunion between Eliza and her daughter Emily, highlighting the pain of separation and the enduring bond of family amidst despair. The scene captures the contrasting emotions of anxiety and sorrow, culminating in Eliza's heartfelt embrace of her children.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Realistic portrayal of slavery
  • Strong performances
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Heartbreaking themes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of the characters' situation, creating a sense of despair and fear that resonates with the audience. The raw and heartbreaking portrayal of slavery adds depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the harsh reality of slavery through the characters' experiences is compelling and thought-provoking. The scene effectively conveys the dehumanizing effects of slavery and the emotional toll it takes on individuals.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene focuses on the characters' struggle for survival and dignity in the face of oppression. It moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges they face and the harsh realities of their situation.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the familiar theme of slavery by focusing on the internal struggles and beliefs of the protagonist. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their emotions are portrayed with depth and authenticity. The audience can empathize with their plight and feel the weight of their suffering.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional turmoil and face the harsh realities of their situation, leading to a change in their outlook and resilience. The scene highlights their struggle for survival and the impact of slavery on their identities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is likely to come to terms with the impending fate of being sold into slavery and separated from his family. This reflects his deeper fear of losing his freedom and loved ones.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to try to convince the others that he will not suffer the same fate as them, as he believes he is only being held as a debt and will be redeemed by his master.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, as the characters are faced with the brutal reality of slavery and the constant threat to their freedom and dignity. The emotional and physical conflict adds tension and drama to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the characters face the harsh reality of slavery and the uncertainty of their fates.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters face the threat of being sold into slavery and losing their freedom and dignity. The emotional and physical risks they face add tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the harsh realities of slavery and the challenges faced by the characters. It sets the stage for further developments and adds depth to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the conflicting beliefs and emotions of the characters, as well as the uncertain outcome of the protagonist's situation.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the harsh reality of slavery and the protagonist's belief that he will be spared due to his status as a debt holder. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values about his own fate and the fate of others.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, fear, and empathy in the audience. The raw and intense portrayal of the characters' suffering resonates deeply and leaves a lasting impression.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the characters' emotions and the harsh realities they face. It adds to the overall tone of the scene and enhances the portrayal of their despair and fear.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the emotional stakes, the conflict between characters, and the uncertainty of the protagonist's fate.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotion, with a balance of dialogue and action that keeps the reader engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively conveys the tension and emotional turmoil of the characters, following the expected format for a dramatic and emotional scene in a historical setting.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional turmoil of the characters as they confront their grim reality. However, the dialogue could be more dynamic. Currently, it feels somewhat expository, particularly Clemens's lines about their fate. Instead of stating the obvious, consider incorporating more subtext or emotional reactions that reveal their personalities and relationships.
  • The introduction of Eliza and Emily is poignant, but the transition into this moment feels abrupt. The scene could benefit from a smoother lead-in that builds anticipation for their reunion. Perhaps a moment of silence or a shared glance among the men before Eliza's entrance could heighten the emotional impact.
  • John's panic is a strong emotional beat, but it could be more visually represented. Instead of just stating his anxiety, consider showing his physical reactions—trembling hands, pacing, or even a desperate plea to the others. This would enhance the tension and make the audience feel his fear more viscerally.
  • The description of Eliza as 'arrayed in silk' and adorned with jewelry is effective in contrasting her past life with her current situation. However, it could be more impactful if this detail was woven into the dialogue or actions rather than presented as a straightforward description. For example, Eliza could touch her jewelry with a sense of nostalgia, which would convey her lost status without explicitly stating it.
  • The emotional reunion between Eliza and her children is a powerful moment, but it could be enhanced by showing Solomon's reaction to this scene. His perspective could add depth to the moment, reflecting on his own lost family and amplifying the emotional stakes.
Suggestions
  • Revise Clemens's dialogue to include more emotional depth and subtext. Instead of merely stating their fate, have him express his fears or regrets in a way that reveals his character.
  • Create a more gradual transition into Eliza's entrance. Consider adding a moment of silence or shared understanding among the men before she appears, building anticipation for the reunion.
  • Enhance John's panic by incorporating physical actions that demonstrate his anxiety, such as pacing or fidgeting, to make his emotional state more palpable.
  • Integrate Eliza's description into her actions or dialogue to create a more immersive experience. For instance, have her touch her jewelry with a sense of longing as she speaks to her children.
  • Include Solomon's perspective during Eliza's reunion with her children to deepen the emotional resonance of the scene, allowing the audience to connect his feelings of loss with their joy.



Scene 12 - Despair in Chains
INT. BURCH'S DUNGEON - EVENING
Later in the evening. Solomon now shares his space with
Eliza and her children. As the children rest, Eliza
drops into a lament as if pleading her case to Solomon
who lends a sympathetic ear.
ELIZA
Poor innocent things. They know
nothing of the misery they are
destined to endure. The years
previous will have been bliss by
comparison.
Both slyly, and with a bit of aggrandizement:
ELIZA (CONT'D)
I had my master's favor, do you
understand? Above even his own
wife, I had it. Do you know that
he built a house for me? Built it
only on the sole condition that I
reside there with him. The added
promise in time I would be
emancipated. And for nine years
he and I cohabited. And in that
nine years he blessed me with
every comfort and luxury in life.
Displaying the finery she still wears:
ELIZA (CONT'D)
Silks and jewels and even servants
to wait upon us. Such was our
life, and the life of this
beautiful girl I bore for him.
But Master Berry's daughter...she
always looked at me with an unkind
nature. She hated Emily no matter
she and Emily were flesh of flesh.
As Master Berry's health failed,
she gained power in the household.
Eventually, I was brought to the
city on the false pretense of our
free papers being executed. On
our arrival, instead of being
baptized into the family of the
free, we were delivered into
stricter bondage. If I had known
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 28.
ELIZA (CONT'D)
what waited I would not have been
brought here alive. I swear that.
Eliza looks to Solomon. But there is no response that
comes easily on the heels of all that's been said. All
they can do is share Eliza's lament. She turns to her
children, says again:
ELIZA (CONT'D)
My poor children. My poor, poor
babies.

BLACK

INT. BURCH'S DUNGEON - NIGHT
It's the deep of night, all are sleeping. A KEY TURNS IN
THE LOCK AND THE DOOR OPENS. Burch enters with Radburn
beside him. Both carry LANTERNS with them. Hardly
giving Solomon and Eliza a moment to rouse themselves,
Burch demands:
BURCH
Come on. Get yer blankets. Get
up.
Sensing that things will not end well:
ELIZA
No, please don't...
BURCH
I don't want to hear yer talk.
Get in the yard.
ELIZA
Please...
Radburn, stepping in, seeming reasonable:
RADBURN
Ain't no need for all that. Yah
frightenin' the chil'ren.
Putting hand to Randall's head.
RADBURN (CONT'D)
Jus takin' a li'l trip, tha's all.
Don't want to frighten the
chil'ren none over a li'l boat
ride, do yah?
Eliza gives a shake of her head to the negative.
RADBURN (CONT'D)
Alright then. Git yerselves up.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 29.

EXT. BURCH'S DUNGEON/YARD - NIGHT
We now have Solomon, Clemens, John, Eliza and the
children. They are being cuffed together. As John is
cuffed, he pulls back. Scared. He beings in
desperation:
JOHN
John's massa gunna pay his debt.
John's massa gunna come for him.
Not wanting to hear any of this talk, Burch strikes John
several times in the head with a sap-like instruments.
Weakened, but again:
JOHN (CONT'D)
John's massa gunna--
Burch again strikes John until he's quiet. Curiously,
Emily and Randall don't even flinch. Why would they?
They are quite used to seeing this kind of violence.
BURCH
Not a word out of none a yah. Not
a word.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Quite literally in the manner of thieves in the night,
Burch and Radburn hustle along their stolen "property."
The streets are deserted. There is no one to help
Solomon and the others if they tried. The group is taken
down to a wharf and a waiting STEAMBOAT.

EXT. ORLEANS - CONTINUOUS
The slaves are taken quickly up a gangplank and onto the
boat as the CAPTAIN AND CREW WATCH, but do not interfere.

INT. ORLEANS/HOLD - NIGHT
The slaves are hustled down into a dark, dank hold among
barrels and boxes of freight...and RATS, where they are
chained to the hull of the ship. Burch comes around and
"checks" the chains; makes sure they are all secure and
locked. Satisfied, he heads up out of the hold. Radburn
follows. Alone in the dark in the hold, Clemens Ray
cries, as does Eliza.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In Burch's dungeon, Eliza mourns her lost life and children to Solomon, while Burch and Radburn arrive to forcibly take her and others away. Despite Eliza's pleas, they are cuffed together and taken to a wharf, where they are loaded onto a steamboat. In the dark, cramped hold, they are chained among freight and rats, with Eliza and Clemens Ray expressing their despair as John clings to hope, only to be violently silenced by Burch.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Atmospheric tension
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Heartbreaking themes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally impactful, effectively conveying the despair and hopelessness of the characters. The dialogue and actions create a somber and tense atmosphere, drawing the audience into the harsh reality of slavery.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of depicting the brutal reality of slavery and the loss of freedom is powerful and thought-provoking. The scene effectively conveys the themes of despair, fear, and resilience in the face of adversity.

Plot: 9

The plot progression in the scene focuses on the characters' descent into slavery and the emotional turmoil they experience. It effectively moves the story forward while highlighting the high stakes involved.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the horrors of slavery, with authentic dialogue and realistic portrayal of the characters' experiences.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with Eliza and Solomon showcasing depth and complexity in their emotional struggles. Their interactions and reactions add layers to the narrative.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo significant emotional changes in the scene, transitioning from hope to despair, resilience to resignation. Their experiences shape their outlook and actions, leading to a profound transformation.

Internal Goal: 8

Eliza's internal goal is to express her pain and despair to Solomon, seeking empathy and understanding. This reflects her deeper need for validation and connection in the face of her traumatic experiences.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to survive and protect her children in the face of imminent danger and violence. This reflects the immediate circumstances and challenges they are facing as slaves.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense, focusing on the characters' struggle against the oppressive forces of slavery and the loss of freedom. The emotional and physical conflict adds depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing physical and emotional challenges that create conflict and suspense.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters are forcibly taken into slavery, facing the loss of freedom, separation from loved ones, and the brutal conditions of servitude. The consequences are dire and impactful.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showcasing the characters' descent into slavery and the harsh realities they face. It sets the stage for further developments and challenges in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its depiction of sudden violence and unexpected turns of events, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the dehumanization of slaves and the moral implications of slavery. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs in justice, freedom, and humanity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, fear, and empathy in the audience. The heartbreaking portrayal of the characters' despair and desperation resonates deeply.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and thoughts of the characters, adding depth to their struggles and the harsh reality of their situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional intensity, suspenseful atmosphere, and compelling character dynamics.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds suspense and emotional impact, maintaining a sense of urgency and tension.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a dramatic screenplay, with proper scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure, with a clear progression of events and effective pacing.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of Eliza's lament, showcasing her past and the stark contrast to her current situation. However, the pacing feels uneven; Eliza's lengthy monologue could benefit from more interaction or interruptions to maintain tension and engagement.
  • While Eliza's backstory is compelling, it may come across as overly expository. The dialogue could be tightened to convey her history more succinctly, allowing for a more dynamic exchange between her and Solomon, which would enhance the emotional impact.
  • The introduction of Burch and Radburn is abrupt, and their motivations could be clearer. Their entrance feels somewhat formulaic, lacking the tension that should accompany the threat they pose. Building up to their arrival with more foreshadowing or a sense of dread could heighten the stakes.
  • The children's reactions to the violence are noted but could be more vividly depicted. Their lack of flinching at John's beating could be emphasized through visual storytelling or dialogue, illustrating the normalization of violence in their lives.
  • The transition from Eliza's emotional lament to the harsh reality of Burch and Radburn's arrival feels jarring. A more gradual shift in tone, perhaps through a visual cue or a moment of silence before the intrusion, could enhance the emotional resonance of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider breaking up Eliza's monologue with Solomon's responses or interjections to create a more dynamic dialogue. This could also allow for moments of reflection or emotional connection between the characters.
  • Streamline Eliza's backstory to focus on the most impactful elements, perhaps highlighting specific moments that illustrate her previous life rather than recounting it in detail. This could maintain audience engagement while still conveying her pain.
  • Introduce Burch and Radburn with more tension, perhaps through ominous sounds or visual cues that hint at their approach. This could build anticipation and make their entrance feel more threatening.
  • Enhance the children's reactions to the violence by incorporating small, poignant actions or expressions that reflect their trauma. This could deepen the audience's understanding of their desensitization to brutality.
  • Create a more seamless transition between Eliza's lament and the arrival of Burch and Radburn. Consider using a moment of silence or a visual cue, such as a change in lighting, to signify the shift from hope to despair.



Scene 13 - Chains of Oppression
EXT. ORLEANS - NIGHT
The crew casts off, and the steamboat launches, setting
off down the Potomac into the night.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 30.

EXT. RIVER - MORNING
By the first rays of the new morning sun, we see the
steamboat making its way down the river. THE SHORELINE
LINED WITH GREENERY.

INT. ORLEANS/HOLD - MORNING
Radburn removes the shackles from the slaves and they are
taken up to the deck.

I/E ORLEANS/DECK - CONTINUOUS
The slaves are brought over to a small table on deck.
They are seated, and are served food by a MULATTO WOMAN.
On occasion WHITE PASSENGERS make their presence known.
Burch comes around to the slaves, a bottle of liquor in
hand. He offers a drink to each of the men.
BURCH
Drink?
The men know better than to demur, and take what's
offered. Burch plays coy, then pours a healthy-sized
drink and offers it to Eliza. The salaciousness of the
act cannot be hidden.
BURCH (CONT'D)
It's good. Nothing harsh.
She drinks, and Burch pours her another. Clearly Burch
is trying to get her greased up.
ELIZA
No. No more, thank you.
Unhappy with the outcome of his efforts, Burch sulks
away. The Mulatto woman could not help but overhear.
Drawing close to Eliza, offering what she considers sage
advice on the sly:
MULATTO WOMAN
You should cheer up. Don't do to
be so down cast. Take what's
offered. Things needn't be no
harder than they are. And if
you're wise...and I can see by
your wares that you are... Well,
a wise woman makes her situation
as pleasant as she can. For
herself...
Stroking Emily's hair
MULATTO WOMAN (CONT'D)
For her child...
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 31.

Eliza slaps the woman's hand away.
ELIZA
Don't touch her! She will not be
like you.
MULATTO WOMAN
Then she be a slave. Like you.

EXT. NORFOLK/PORT - DAY
The Orleans arrives to Norfolk and is docked. MORE
SLAVES - about 15 in all, of various genders and ages -
are brought on board. Chief among them is ARTHUR, who
fights viciously with his captors. His face swollen and
covered with wounds and bruises. One side of it is a
complete raw sore. "With all haste" is shoved down into
the hold.
Another among them is ROBERT, who is about 19 years of
age. He, like Solomon, is quiet. And like Solomon as
well we can tell there is much going on behind his eyes;
a good deal of silent plotting.
Having taken their cargo as far as they care or need to,
Burch and Radburn depart. They do so without a word
spoken to Solomon or the others.
With this new and sizable batch of slaves on board, the
crew again CASTS OFF, and the Orleans makes its way
again.
Solomon stares down Burch for as long as he can, as if
wishing bad things. As if wanting to exact some measure
of revenge. But the greater insult is that Burch and
Radburn, engaged in conversation, take no notice of
Solomon whatsoever. He is that insignificant to them.
That fact, that reality, makes Solomon boil with a rage
he cannot express in words.

I/E. ORLEANS - DAY
As the brig sails, the slaves are seated and huddle on
deck. The CAPTAIN, along with his first mate - BIDDEE -
move among them, looking them over for prospects to do
labor. He demands of one MALE SLAVE:
CAPTAIN
Stand up.
Immediately, and with much trepidation, the slave does as
told.
CAPTAIN (CONT'D)
What can you do with yourself?
REED
I can...I can clean.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 32.

CAPTAIN
You can clean? Mr. Biddee, get a
mop in this one's hands and get
him to swabbing.
BIDDEE
Sir.
The Captain continues to move among the slaves. Arriving
to another:
CAPTAIN
Get up.
Again, and quickly, the slave does as ordered.
CAPTAIN (CONT'D)
What can you do with yourself?
GEORGE
I'm a carpenter.
CAPTAIN
Got no need for that. Two weeks
to New Orleans, you will find a
way to make yourself useful.
GEORGE
I am able with a needle and
thread. Any mending that you
might--
CAPTAIN
Shovel coal is what you can do.
Get him below, Mr. Biddee
The Captain keeps on until he arrives to ROBERT:
CAPTAIN (CONT'D)
Stand up.
Unlike the others, Robert makes no move to stand right
away. With more assertion:
CAPTAIN (CONT'D)
Get up.
Robert stands, but does so with little alacrity.
CAPTAIN (CONT'D)
What can you do with yourself?
In quiet defiance Robert doesn't say a word.
CAPTAIN (CONT'D)
Answer me!
ROBERT
Know how to cook.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 33.

CAPTAIN
Let me see your hands.
Robert does as instructed and holds out his hands. The
Captain looks them over.
CAPTAIN (CONT'D)
Clean enough. Get on to the
galley and make yourself of use.
Robert moves away as the Captain continues on to Solomon.
CAPTAIN (CONT'D)
Get up.
Solomon doesn't move. The Captain is clearly getting
tired of the mounting disrespect. He announces to the
remaining slaves:
CAPTAIN (CONT'D)
The next one of you that refuses
me will be bound and thrown
overboard, I promise you that.
Get up!
Solomon rises.
CAPTAIN (CONT'D)
What can you do?
SOLOMON
I play the fiddle.
CAPTAIN
Got no need for that. What else?
SOLOMON
Some farm labor from my youth. As
I young man I worked a gang that
rebuilt a canal.
CAPTAIN
As useless to me as fiddling.
Jack of all trades and master of
none. You can carry a load, can't
you?
SOLOMON
Yes.
CAPTAIN
Then do it. You'll haul from the
hold to the galley, and clean it
when you're done. Mr. Biddee,
another for your charge.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 34.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary As the steamboat Orleans travels down the Potomac River from night to morning, Radburn removes the shackles from the enslaved individuals, bringing them to the deck where they are served food. Burch attempts to seduce Eliza, who fiercely rejects him, while a mulatto woman advises her to accept her fate. The Orleans arrives in Norfolk, bringing more slaves on board, including the injured Arthur and the observant Robert. The Captain inspects the new slaves, dismissing Solomon's talents and assigning him menial labor, intensifying his feelings of insignificance and rage.
Strengths
  • Powerful dialogue
  • Emotional depth
  • Realistic portrayal of oppression
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Depiction of violence may be triggering for some audiences

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the harsh reality of slavery through powerful dialogue, character interactions, and the portrayal of oppressive conditions. It evokes strong emotions and sets the stage for significant character development and plot progression.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the brutal journey of slaves on a steamboat to New Orleans is powerful and thought-provoking. It delves into the complexities of slavery, survival, and resistance.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progression in the scene is significant as it sets the stage for the characters' struggles, conflicts, and survival in the face of oppression. It introduces key elements that will drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic portrayal of the horrors of slavery, exploring the psychological and emotional complexities of the characters with depth and nuance. The dialogue feels authentic and impactful, capturing the characters' inner conflicts and external challenges in a compelling way.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed, each displaying unique traits, motivations, and responses to their circumstances. Their interactions reveal the complexities of their personalities and the challenges they face.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their attitudes, resilience, and responses to their circumstances throughout the scene. Their experiences shape their development and future actions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his sense of dignity and identity in the face of dehumanizing treatment and oppression. Solomon's desire to resist and seek revenge against his captors reflects his deeper need for autonomy, self-respect, and justice.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to survive and navigate the challenges of being a slave on the steamboat. Solomon must adapt to his new environment, find ways to be useful to his captors, and avoid punishment or harm.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, including the struggle for freedom, the power dynamics between the characters, and the oppressive conditions they face. The conflicts drive the tension and emotional impact of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing multiple challenges, conflicts, and threats to his autonomy and dignity. The power dynamics, moral dilemmas, and character interactions create obstacles that test the protagonist's resilience and agency.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters face the brutal reality of slavery, the threat of violence, and the uncertainty of their future. Their survival and freedom are at risk, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by establishing the characters' predicament, conflicts, and motivations. It sets the stage for future events and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics, moral choices, and character interactions that keep the audience on edge. The unexpected actions and decisions of the characters add suspense and complexity to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of power, agency, and resistance. The Mulatto woman's advice to Eliza reflects a belief in survival through compliance and adaptation, while Eliza's defiance and rejection of the woman's advice signify a commitment to self-respect and resistance against dehumanization.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, anger, and despair through its portrayal of the characters' suffering and resilience. It creates a powerful emotional connection with the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is impactful, conveying the power dynamics, emotions, and conflicts between the characters. It effectively captures the tone of oppression, defiance, and despair.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflicts, moral dilemmas, and character dynamics. The tension between the characters, the power struggles, and the ethical questions raised keep the audience invested in the story and its outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension, emotional resonance, and character development. The rhythm of the dialogue, the movement between locations, and the progression of events create a sense of urgency and momentum that propels the story forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue formatting. The visual and spatial elements are effectively conveyed, enhancing the reader's immersion in the setting and atmosphere.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and coherent structure, moving seamlessly between different locations and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness, building tension and emotional resonance.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the oppressive atmosphere of slavery aboard the steamboat, showcasing the power dynamics between the enslaved individuals and their captors. However, the pacing feels uneven, particularly in the transition from the night launch to the morning scene. A smoother transition could enhance the flow and maintain the audience's engagement.
  • The dialogue, especially Burch's interactions with Eliza, conveys his predatory nature and the desperation of the enslaved characters. However, the Mulatto woman's advice to Eliza feels somewhat heavy-handed and could benefit from more subtlety. Instead of overtly stating her wisdom, consider showing her character's experience through her actions or a more nuanced conversation.
  • The introduction of new characters, Arthur and Robert, adds depth to the narrative, but their motivations and backgrounds are not fully explored in this scene. Providing brief glimpses into their personalities or histories could create a stronger emotional connection for the audience.
  • The visual imagery of the steamboat and the contrast between the lush shoreline and the grim reality of the enslaved individuals is powerful. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience further. Describing the sounds of the river, the smell of the food being served, or the texture of the shackles could enhance the atmosphere.
  • The climax of the scene, where Solomon is dismissed by the Captain, feels abrupt. Building up to this moment with more tension or internal conflict for Solomon could heighten the emotional impact. Exploring his thoughts and feelings as he faces the Captain's disdain would deepen the audience's investment in his character.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Solomon as the steamboat launches, allowing the audience to connect with his emotional state and the gravity of his situation.
  • Revise the Mulatto woman's dialogue to be more implicit, allowing her wisdom to shine through her actions rather than explicit statements. This could create a more engaging interaction with Eliza.
  • Introduce Arthur and Robert with a few lines that hint at their backstories or personalities, making them more relatable and memorable to the audience.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enrich the scene's atmosphere, such as the sounds of the river, the smell of the food, or the weight of the shackles, to create a more immersive experience.
  • Build tension leading up to Solomon's dismissal by the Captain, perhaps by showing Solomon's internal struggle or fear of being seen as insignificant, to enhance the emotional weight of the moment.



Scene 14 - Whispers of Freedom
INT. ORLEANS/GALLEY - LATER
As slaves cook, Solomon cleans. He he scurries around
gathering up scraps and places them in a box. As he
cleans, Solomon watches as Robert preps the food. Robert
obviously quite comfortable with a knife. He goes about
his work with both speed and skill.

I/E. ORLEANS - EVENING
Solomon is now up on deck emptying his box, throwing
waste over the side of the vessel.

INT. ORLEANS/HOLD - LATER
Down in the hold the slaves eat, pray. SOME ARE SEA SICK
AND THEY THROW UP. Among all this, Arthur sits and talks
with Solomon. They are removed from the others, as much
as they can be, and they are conspiratorial as Arthur
tells the tale of how he came to be a captive.
ARTHUR
They was a gang of 'em. A true
gang. My mistake: shortenin' my
way home on an unfamiliar street.
Well, they set right upon me. For
whatever reason, they seen me and
think I was low fruit. No, suh.
Was no such a thing. I commence
to swingin'. The resonance of
every blow again' 'em a reminder
of the family I would never again
see if'n they prevailed. I fought
'em. Fought those damned
kidnappers until all my strength
left me. Fought 'em right to they
beat me senseless. And here I was
drug, and here I was dumped. They
got no right to me. I'm free.
Free as them.
SOLOMON
Do you think we can make ourselves
free again? Do you think we can
escape?
Arthur says nothing. He just gives a look to Solomon as
if he's interested in listening to whatever Solomon has
to say.
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
The crew is fairly small. They
don't seem particularly game. Do
you think we can commandeer the
ship?
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 35.

ARTHUR
I know we git where we travelin',
we'll wish we'd died tryin'. If
we did take her, where'd we sail?
SOLOMON
New York harbor.
ARTHUR
can you get us there?
SOLOMON
I can make every effort.
Arthur considers things for a moment.
ARTHUR
There's the Captain, the Mate...
I count six sailors. If we tried
for them one by one...
SOLOMON
What would we do? Once we've
seized the crew; what would we do
with them?
Very plainly:
ARTHUR
We kill 'em.
This sinks in for a moment, but clearly it is the only
way.
SOLOMON
How would we take them?
ARTHUR
First in the mornin'. We'd be on
them before they knew what; quick
and merciless. Captain and mate
first. Waylay 'em, the others
won't be given ta fight.
SOLOMON
They will if they know death waits
for them.
ARTHUR
They won't know. The ones we
don't kill right off, we tell 'em
they can have their lives if they
submit. Question of when.
SOLOMON
As soon as we can. As soon as
tomorrow.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 36.

ARTHUR
Their guard is high. Oughta wait
for when they're not suspecting.
It's two weeks sail to New
Orleans. In five days, six
days...
SOLOMON
All that much farther south.
ARTHUR
And they be all the more tired and
incautious. Make the chore
easier.
Solomon considers this. It makes some sense. There
remains, however, an issue in his mind:
SOLOMON
We need a third. Even with luck
on our side, two can't stand
against eight. We have to bring
another into the conspiracy.
Arthur looks around at the other slaves. He is
unimpressed by their nature.
ARTHUR
They's niggers. Born and bred
slaves. Cringe at so much as a
white man's look. Not one's got
stomach enough fo the fight. Not
a damn one.
SOLOMON
We need another. Two alone will
not succeed. With three we are
nearly guaranteed.
Solomon looks among the salves. There must be at least
one more who's capable of mutiny. Clemens Ray...?
John...? Doesn't seem that way.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the dimly lit hold of the slave ship Orleans, Solomon cleans and observes Robert cooking, while he and fellow slave Arthur engage in a tense conversation about their captivity and the possibility of escape. Arthur shares his harrowing capture story and expresses doubt about their fellow slaves' willingness to join a mutiny. Solomon, hopeful yet strategic, contemplates the logistics of commandeering the ship, weighing the risks involved. As they strategize, they recognize the need for a third conspirator to bolster their chances of success, leaving them with a sense of urgency and desperation for freedom.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Character depth
  • High stakes
Weaknesses
  • Limited character interactions
  • Lack of visual variety

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is intense and gripping, showcasing the characters' determination to fight for their freedom. The dialogue is impactful, and the stakes are high, creating a sense of urgency and tension.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of planning a mutiny adds a layer of complexity to the story, highlighting the characters' resilience and determination in the face of adversity. It sets the stage for future developments and raises the stakes for the protagonists.

Plot: 8.5

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene as the characters devise a plan to take control of the ship. It introduces a major turning point in the story and sets the stage for potential conflict and resolution.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on the theme of slavery and escape, with characters facing difficult decisions and moral dilemmas. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Solomon and Arthur are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their contrasting personalities and motivations. Their interactions reveal their inner struggles and desires for freedom.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant emotional changes in this scene, as they grapple with the decision to rebel and the risks involved. Their determination and resilience are tested, leading to internal growth and development.

Internal Goal: 9

Solomon's internal goal is to regain his freedom and escape from captivity. This reflects his deeper desire for autonomy and self-determination.

External Goal: 8

Solomon's external goal is to commandeer the ship and sail to New York harbor. This reflects the immediate challenge of planning and executing an escape.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high, as the characters grapple with the decision to rebel against their captors and the risks involved in their plan. The tension between freedom and captivity drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing internal and external obstacles that challenge their plans for escape.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, as the characters risk their lives to fight for their freedom. The consequences of their actions could lead to either liberation or further oppression, intensifying the tension and drama.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major plot development - the plan for a mutiny. It sets the stage for future conflicts and resolutions, driving the narrative towards a crucial turning point.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting motivations and the uncertain outcome of their plan.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the desire for freedom and the moral dilemma of resorting to violence to achieve it. Solomon and Arthur grapple with the idea of killing the crew to secure their own freedom.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, eliciting feelings of despair, hope, and defiance through the characters' struggles. The sense of urgency and desperation adds depth to the storytelling.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful and drives the scene forward, capturing the characters' emotions and intentions effectively. The conversations between Solomon and Arthur are engaging and reveal their depth of character.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, moral dilemmas, and tense atmosphere. The dialogue keeps the audience invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, with a balance of dialogue and action that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene is formatted correctly for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a logical progression as the characters discuss their plan and the obstacles they face. The formatting is clear and easy to follow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and highlights the desperation of Solomon and Arthur as they plot their escape. However, the dialogue could benefit from more emotional depth to convey the gravity of their situation. The stakes are high, and the characters' fear and determination should be more palpable.
  • Arthur's backstory is compelling, but it feels somewhat detached from the immediate action. Integrating more of his emotional response to his capture and the loss of his family could create a stronger connection with the audience.
  • The pacing of the scene is uneven. The transition from the mundane task of cleaning to the intense discussion of mutiny feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow and maintain the audience's engagement.
  • The dialogue, while functional, lacks distinct character voices. Each character should have a unique way of speaking that reflects their background and personality. This would help differentiate Solomon and Arthur and make their interactions more dynamic.
  • The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to enhance the setting. The audience should feel the cramped, oppressive environment of the ship and the physical toll it takes on the characters. This would add to the overall atmosphere of despair and urgency.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional reflection from Solomon as he contemplates the escape plan. This could provide insight into his fears and hopes, making him a more relatable character.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to describe the environment, such as the smell of the food, the sounds of the ship, or the physical discomfort of the slaves. This would immerse the audience in the scene.
  • Enhance the stakes by having Solomon and Arthur discuss the consequences of failure more explicitly. This could heighten the tension and make their decision to plot the mutiny feel even more desperate.
  • Introduce a third character earlier in the scene to create a sense of urgency and possibility. This character could be someone who is initially reluctant but becomes a crucial part of the plan, adding complexity to the dynamics.
  • Revise the dialogue to include more subtext and emotional weight. For example, instead of simply stating their intentions, have the characters express their fears, regrets, and hopes in a way that reveals their inner struggles.



Scene 15 - Betrayal and Despair at Sea
INT. ORLEANS/GALLEY
Solomon is back cleaning in the galley. As he cleans, he
again watches Robert prep food. Robert's skill with a
knife is not lost on Solomon.

I/E. ORLEANS/DECK - LATER
It's now Solomon, Arthur and Robert talking, Robert
having evidently been brought into the conspiracy.
Robert seems a little sweaty. Not nervous. Literally a
light but constant sheen of sweat covers him.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 37.

SOLOMON
Captain and the mate sleep in the
same cabin. The cook always
sleeps in the galley, and crew's
in the forecastle.
ARTHUR
We two, steal into the captain's
cabin, be done with them.
(to Robert)
We get you a weapon. Sharp,
blunt...don't matter. Wait
outside the crew cabin. Comes to
it, you haveta hold 'em back 'til
we can come.
ROBERT
After the deed, who'ta pilot us?
ARTHUR
Solomon.
ROBERT
Ya'ever pilot a boat?
SOLOMON
We head north. That's all that's
required.
ARTHUR
Then we're agreed. No turning
away now.
ROBERT
When?
ARTHUR
Three days. The morning of the
Sabbath.

INT. ORLEANS/GALLEY - DAY
Again we see Robert and Solomon working in the galley.
Robert doesn't look well. He sweats more than when we
just previously saw him. Despite how he might feel - as
Solomon cleans around him - Robert is capable enough to
secret a knife into Solomon's garbage box.

EXT. ORLEANS/DECK - LATER
We see Solomon emptying the box overboard. As he does,
he collects the knife - looks it over for a moment as if
imagining killing with it - then quickly secrets it away.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 38.

INT. ORLEANS/HOLD - DAY
We see Robert down in the hold. Sweating profusely now,
he is also stained with vomit. The Captain is looking
Robert over as Biddee stands close by. THE CAPTAIN PULLS
BACK ROBERT'S SHIRT REVEALING A RASH, HIGHLIGHTED BY
RAISED PAPULES. The Captain knows exactly what he's
looking at. With fear:
CAPTAIN
Small pox.
This strikes all around like lightning. Like a curse
that has fallen. The Captain states again:
CAPTAIN (CONT'D)
It's smallpox.
(to Bidee:)
Get lime spread through the hold.
Keep them on deck, and for God's
sake keep them away from us.
BIDDEE
Sir.

EXT. ORLEANS/DECK - LATER
The slaves are mostly huddled. THEY ARE WATCHED OVER BY
THE CREW. As things are, there will be no chicanery.

INT. ORLEANS/HOLD - LATER
A couple of days on now. Robert lays on a blanket down
in the hold. He is a really, really pitiful sight, his
body covered with pustules.
Solomon keeps clear of Robert, but sits with him.
Between wheezing breathes, he says very weakly:
ROBERT
Solomon... Solomon...
SOLOMON
Yes?
ROBERT
I be right soon. I be right, then
we do as planned.
Solomon doesn't respond. He continues to maintain his
vigil with Robert.

EXT. ORLEANS/DECK - DAY
Days later now. We are back up on the deck of the ship.
ROBERT'S STILL BODY IS BEING SEWN INTO A BLANKET.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 39.

Clearly he didn't make it, the ravages of the pox having
done horrid work on his flesh.
Once sewn into the blanket. CREWMEN Then dump the body
over the side of the ship. Solomon watches as the body
churns for a moment in the wake of the vessel...then
sinks beneath the water. Arthur, with no sentimentality:
ARTHUR
Better off. Better than us.
Solomon continues to stare back at the spot where Robert
was dumped as it slips further and further away.
From his pocket he takes the knife. He holds it for a
moment, then lets it slip into the water. There is
nothing to be done with it.

BLACK
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the galley of the ship Orleans, Solomon observes Robert's knife skills while they discuss a conspiracy to kill the captain and mate. Robert, anxious about the plan's implications, secretly hides a knife in Solomon's garbage box. After Solomon retrieves it, Robert falls gravely ill with smallpox. The captain discovers Robert's condition, leading to precautions being taken. Ultimately, Robert dies, and his body is disposed of at sea, leaving Solomon to discard the knife, symbolizing the failure of their conspiracy.
Strengths
  • Compelling plot development
  • Emotional depth
  • Strong character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Tragic outcome may be too intense for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the desperation and tragedy faced by the characters, creating a sense of tension and emotional impact. The plot progression is significant, moving the story forward with high stakes and character changes.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of a desperate escape plan among the slaves on the ship, culminating in tragedy, is compelling and adds layers of complexity to the characters and their relationships.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in showcasing the characters' desperation, hope, and eventual tragedy. It moves the story forward significantly and sets the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the theme of survival in a historical context, with authentic dialogue and actions that feel true to the characters' motivations.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed, each displaying unique traits and motivations. Their interactions and decisions drive the plot forward and evoke strong emotions from the audience.

Character Changes: 8

The scene showcases significant character changes, particularly in the face of tragedy and loss. The characters' motivations and relationships evolve as they grapple with their circumstances.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to survive and navigate the treacherous situation he finds himself in. His deeper need is for freedom and justice.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to escape the ship and the conspiracy he has been drawn into. This reflects the immediate challenge of surviving and avoiding capture.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with the characters facing internal struggles, external threats, and the looming tragedy of their situation.

Opposition: 8

The strong opposition in the scene, such as the threat of smallpox and the betrayal of Robert, creates uncertainty and conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, with the characters facing life-threatening situations, desperate choices, and the harsh realities of their captivity.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward significantly, setting the stage for future developments and adding depth to the overall narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turn of events, such as Robert's illness and death, which keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is between the morality of survival and the cost of betraying others for personal gain. This challenges Solomon's beliefs in justice and loyalty.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a significant emotional impact on the audience, eliciting feelings of sadness, fear, and empathy for the characters' plight.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions, intentions, and the gravity of their situation. It adds depth to their interactions and enhances the overall narrative.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, emotional intensity, and the characters' complex motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds suspense and maintains the audience's interest.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a historical drama screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure that builds tension and develops the plot effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and highlights the desperation of the characters as they plot their escape. However, the transition between the planning and the subsequent events feels abrupt. The emotional weight of Robert's illness and eventual death could be more deeply explored to enhance the impact of his loss on Solomon and the audience.
  • The dialogue between Solomon, Arthur, and Robert is functional but lacks emotional depth. While it conveys the plan for escape, it could benefit from more personal stakes or backstory to make the audience care more about the characters' fates. Adding moments of vulnerability or fear could enhance the tension.
  • The visual storytelling is strong, particularly in the contrast between the planning of the mutiny and the grim reality of Robert's illness. However, the scene could use more sensory details to immerse the audience in the environment, such as the sounds of the ship, the smell of the galley, or the oppressive heat that contributes to Robert's condition.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The initial planning sequence is quick and straightforward, while the later moments with Robert's illness drag on. Balancing the pacing to maintain tension throughout would improve the overall flow of the scene.
  • The ending, where Solomon discards the knife, is powerful but could be enhanced by a more explicit internal conflict. Showing Solomon's emotional struggle with the decision to abandon the weapon could add depth to his character and highlight the futility of their situation.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of reflection for Solomon after the planning scene, where he contemplates the risks and consequences of their actions. This could deepen the emotional stakes and provide insight into his character.
  • Incorporate more dialogue that reveals the characters' fears and hopes regarding their escape plan. This could help the audience connect with them on a more personal level.
  • Enhance the sensory details in the scene to create a more immersive experience for the audience. Describe the sounds, smells, and physical sensations that the characters are experiencing.
  • Adjust the pacing by interspersing moments of tension with brief pauses for character reflection or interaction. This could help maintain engagement and build suspense.
  • Explore Solomon's internal conflict more thoroughly when he discards the knife. Consider adding a brief monologue or visual cue that illustrates his despair and the weight of his circumstances.



Scene 16 - A Reunion at the Docks
EXT. NEW ORLEANS/PORT - DAY
The Orleans arrives to the port of New Orleans and docks.
The port is one of the busiest in the young nation,
vessels of every shape and size, and flying a variety of
flags arrive here. On the dock itself there is a bustle
of activity as goods are loaded and unloaded. It's a bit
of controlled chaos as a VARIETY OF LANGUAGES are spoken
and shouted.
Two men - among many - are awaiting the arrival of the
Orleans. They are WILLIAMS - Arthur's master - and DAVIS
who is the solicitor of Mr. Williams. They both look
like they mean business. The moment the gangplank is
laid they bum rush the vessel, Williams yelling for
Arthur.
WILLIAMS
Arthur...! Arthur!
Arthur, seeing his master, is nearly crazy with delight.
He is, uncharacteristically beside himself. Ironically,
his master now represents "freedom."
ARTHUR
My master. Master Williams, sir!
Master Williams!
Arthur pulls on his chains for Williams, nearly pulling
the other slaves with him.
Davis is no nonsense about the situation.
DAVIS
Who is in charge of this vessel?
CAPTAIN
I am the Captain.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 40.

DAVIS
I am the solicitor of Mr. Jonus
Williams. I have documentation
verifying that the Negro named
Arthur is his property.
CAPTAIN
I know nothing of--
DAVIS
You are ordered by court to return
that property immediately, or face
charges of thievery.
CAPTAIN
My duty is to transport goods. I
am not responsible for their
origin.
ARTHUR
Sir...
WILLIAMS
It's all right, Arthur. Your
abductors have been arrested and
confined...
(to the Captain)
Remove these contraptions!
To his mate:
CAPTAIN
Free him!
Biddee does as ordered. Once free, Arthur hugs and sobs
over his master as would a lost and then found child.
WILLIAMS
It's all well, now, Arthur. You
will return home with me.
DAVIS
Consider this notice and warning.
Williams, Davis and Arthur head from the ship. Solomon
rushes to the rail of the ship. He seems both desperate
and hopeful of some aid from Arthur and Williams. But
there is none forthcoming. Williams and Arthur continue
on - Arthur not so much as even looking back in Solomon's
direction. Solomon stands and watches as they fade into
the environs and are gone from sight.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary At the bustling port of New Orleans, Williams eagerly awaits the arrival of Arthur, who is chained on a vessel. Upon seeing his master, Arthur is filled with joy, symbolizing his hope for freedom. However, Davis, the solicitor, asserts his claim over Arthur, insisting he is Williams' property. The captain initially hesitates but ultimately agrees to free Arthur, leading to an emotional reunion between him and Williams. Meanwhile, Solomon, another enslaved man, watches helplessly as Arthur leaves, feeling abandoned and desperate for his own freedom.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Exploration of power dynamics
  • Legal complexities of slavery
Weaknesses
  • Limited focus on other characters
  • Lack of external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the conflicting emotions of the characters, the tension between freedom and captivity, and the power dynamics at play. It sets the stage for further exploration of the characters' relationships and the legal complexities of slavery.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the themes of freedom, ownership, and power dynamics in the context of slavery. It effectively explores the complexities of these themes through the characters' interactions and the legal implications of ownership.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the story by introducing the legal complexities of slavery, the dynamics between the characters, and the emotional turmoil of the protagonist, Arthur. It sets the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Originality: 8.5

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the theme of slavery, focusing on the emotional journey of the protagonist and the legal implications of ownership. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with Arthur's conflicting emotions and the power dynamics between the slaves and their captors portrayed effectively. The interactions between the characters add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Arthur undergoes a significant emotional change in the scene, from desperation to relief upon reuniting with his master. His internal conflict and the power dynamics also contribute to character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Arthur's internal goal in this scene is to reunite with his master, who ironically represents 'freedom' to him. This reflects Arthur's deep desire for security and belonging.

External Goal: 7.5

The protagonist's external goal is to be freed from his chains and return home with his master. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of being wrongfully enslaved and the legal battle for his freedom.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Arthur grapples with conflicting emotions of joy at reuniting with his master and the realization of his continued bondage. The power dynamics between the characters also contribute to the conflict.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with legal and moral conflicts challenging the characters' beliefs and actions. The uncertainty of the outcome adds to the tension.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as Arthur's freedom and fate are at risk based on the legal implications of ownership and the power dynamics between the characters. The scene sets the tone for the challenges ahead.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing the legal complexities of slavery, the dynamics between the characters, and the emotional turmoil of the protagonist. It sets the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the legal confrontation and the unexpected resolution of Arthur's freedom. The audience is kept on edge by the shifting power dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ownership of human beings as property, contrasting the legal system's view with the moral implications of slavery. This challenges Arthur's beliefs about his own worth and humanity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, relief, and defiance through the characters' interactions and the portrayal of their conflicting emotions. It resonates with the audience and adds depth to the narrative.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions, power dynamics, and legal implications of ownership. It adds depth to the characters and advances the plot through their interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, emotional intensity, and moral dilemmas faced by the characters. The conflict and resolution keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, leading to a satisfying resolution. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear dialogue attribution and scene descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively setting up the conflict and resolution within the legal context of the time period.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the chaotic atmosphere of the New Orleans port, which is essential for establishing the setting and the urgency of the moment. However, the description could benefit from more vivid imagery to immerse the audience in the sensory details of the environment, such as the sounds, smells, and sights of the bustling port.
  • The dialogue between Williams, Davis, and the Captain is functional but lacks emotional depth. While it serves to convey the legalities of Arthur's return, it misses an opportunity to explore the emotional stakes for Solomon, who is left behind. Adding more internal conflict or emotional reactions from Solomon could heighten the tension and make the audience empathize with his plight.
  • Arthur's joy at being reunited with his master is palpable, but it contrasts sharply with Solomon's despair. This juxtaposition is powerful, yet it could be enhanced by showing Solomon's physical reactions or thoughts more explicitly. For instance, a brief internal monologue or a visual cue could illustrate his feelings of abandonment and hopelessness.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transition from the arrival of the ship to the reunion between Arthur and Williams. Slowing down the moment to allow for more character reactions and interactions could create a more impactful emotional resonance.
  • The scene ends with Solomon watching Arthur and Williams leave without acknowledging him, which is a strong visual moment. However, it could be more impactful if Solomon's emotional response is more pronounced. A line of dialogue or a physical action that conveys his despair would strengthen the scene's conclusion.
Suggestions
  • Enhance the sensory details in the setting description to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • Deepen the dialogue to reflect the emotional stakes for all characters involved, particularly Solomon, to create a stronger connection with the audience.
  • Incorporate Solomon's internal thoughts or physical reactions to emphasize his feelings of abandonment and despair during Arthur's reunion with Williams.
  • Consider slowing down the pacing of the scene to allow for more character interactions and emotional reactions, which can heighten the tension and impact.
  • Add a line of dialogue or a physical action from Solomon at the end of the scene to more clearly express his emotional state as he watches Arthur and Williams leave.



Scene 17 - The Naming of Platt
EXT. ORLEANS/DECK - LATER
Hours later. The slaves sit on the deck, baking in the
sun, awaiting their fate.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 41.

THEOPHILUS FREEMAN - a tall, thin-faced man with light
complexion and a little bent - moves along the deck
calling out names from a list.
FREEMAN
Platt... Platt! Platt!
None of the slaves respond to him. He begins calling
other names. The slaves STAND as they are called.
FREEMAN (CONT'D)
Lethe. Clemens Ray. Eliza.
Randall. Emily. John. Platt...
Platt!
Freeman looks around. He spots Solomon.
FREEMAN (CONT'D)
Captain, who shipped that nigger?
CAPTAIN
Burch.
Freeman steps to Solomon. He gives him a looking over.
FREEMAN
Stand up.
Solomon does as told.
FREEMAN (CONT'D)
Yah fit the description given.
Why didn't Yah answer when called?
SOLOMON
My name is not Platt. My name is--
Freeman strikes Solomon hard across the face.
FREEMAN
Yer name is Platt, and I will
learn yah yer name so that yah
don't forgin' it.
(to the Captain)
Shackle my niggers. Get 'em to my
cart.

I/E. CART - LATER
Solomon is carted off along with the rest of "Burch's
stock:" Eliza and her children, Clemens Ray, John and
Solomon.
As they travel for the first time Solomon sees true and
severe slavery. These are not the visiting servants,
such as Jasper was back in Saratoga. These are humans
held in strict bondage - herded like cattle, working in
"chain gangs." Slaves are evident not merely by the
color of their skin. The residue and accessories of
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 42.

slavery are everywhere. Blacks almost universally
display scars - THICK AND HEAVY DEAD TISSUE FROM
LACERATIONS THAT WERE LEFT UNTREATED - brands and are
often missing limbs. Blacks are held in all kinds of
shackles, from simple chains to elaborate bindings, to
neck collars that are spiked. Some are muzzled or forced
to wear bits. THESE IMAGES SHOULD BE A CONSTANT AND
CONTINUAL CANVAS TO THE PIECE. EVER PRESENT, BUT NOT
REALLY COMMENTED ON AS THEY ARE THE NORM. They should be
a reminder that not only are people being oppressed, but
that there is an entire system of oppression in place.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary On the deck of a ship in Orleans, slave trader Theophilus Freeman violently insists that Solomon adopt the name Platt. When Solomon refuses to respond, Freeman strikes him and orders the captain to shackle the slaves for transport. As they are carted away, Solomon witnesses the brutal realities of slavery, including the scars and suffering of his fellow captives, marking the beginning of their harrowing journey.
Strengths
  • Powerful portrayal of oppression
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Authentic historical context
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence may be disturbing to some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the brutality and hopelessness of slavery, eliciting strong emotions from the audience. The depiction of violence and degradation is impactful and serves to immerse viewers in the harsh reality of the characters' circumstances.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of portraying the brutality and dehumanization of slavery is executed with authenticity and sensitivity, capturing the historical context and emotional depth of the characters' experiences. The scene effectively conveys the themes of oppression, resilience, and identity.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on the characters' descent into the depths of slavery, highlighting the challenges they face and the injustices they endure. The narrative drives home the harsh realities of the time period and sets the stage for further developments.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to depicting the horrors of slavery, with authentic dialogue and actions that ring true to the historical context.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with clear motivations and emotional depth. Their interactions and reactions to the oppressive environment showcase their resilience and humanity in the face of adversity.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant emotional and psychological changes in the scene, grappling with their newfound reality and the loss of agency. Their experiences shape their identities and relationships, setting the stage for further development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his sense of identity and dignity in the face of dehumanizing treatment. His refusal to respond to the name 'Platt' reflects his deeper need to hold onto his true self.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to survive and navigate the harsh realities of slavery, as he is carted off with other slaves to face unknown hardships.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with intense power struggles, physical violence, and emotional turmoil driving the narrative forward. The characters' internal and external conflicts add depth to the scene and heighten the stakes.

Opposition: 8

The strong opposition in the scene, represented by the brutal treatment of the slaves, creates a sense of conflict and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters facing physical and emotional peril as they navigate the oppressive system of slavery. Their survival, dignity, and identity are at risk, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the harsh realities of slavery and the characters' struggles to survive in a hostile environment. It sets the stage for future conflicts, developments, and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden violence and the uncertain fate of the protagonist and other slaves.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the dehumanization of individuals in the name of societal norms and power dynamics. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs in equality and human dignity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of empathy, anger, and despair in the audience. The raw portrayal of suffering and resilience resonates with viewers and leaves a lasting impression.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene is impactful, conveying the power dynamics and emotional turmoil of the characters. The exchanges between the enslaved individuals and their oppressors reveal the harsh realities of their situation and the strength of their spirits.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the harsh realities of slavery and creates a sense of urgency and tension.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and conveys the urgency of the characters' situation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for a dramatic screenplay, effectively conveying the actions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively conveys the progression of events and the escalating tension.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the brutal reality of slavery through vivid imagery and the character of Theophilus Freeman. However, the dialogue could be more impactful. Freeman's lines feel somewhat generic and could benefit from more distinct characterization to enhance his menacing presence.
  • The transition from the previous scene to this one is abrupt. While it captures the despair of Solomon watching Arthur and Williams leave, it could be strengthened by a brief moment of reflection or internal dialogue from Solomon, emphasizing his feelings of abandonment and hopelessness.
  • The description of the physical conditions of the slaves is powerful, but it risks overwhelming the audience with graphic details. Balancing the visceral imagery with moments of emotional connection to Solomon and the other characters could create a more profound impact.
  • The use of the term 'nigger' by Freeman is historically accurate but may alienate some viewers. Consider how this language serves the narrative and whether it could be framed in a way that emphasizes the dehumanization without detracting from the emotional engagement.
  • The scene lacks a clear emotional arc for Solomon. While it shows his physical subjugation, it could delve deeper into his psychological state. Adding internal monologue or subtle reactions to Freeman's actions could enhance the audience's connection to his plight.
Suggestions
  • Enhance Freeman's characterization by giving him a unique manner of speaking or specific quirks that make him more memorable and menacing.
  • Include a moment of internal reflection for Solomon after watching Arthur and Williams leave, allowing the audience to connect with his emotional turmoil.
  • Consider reducing the graphic descriptions of the slaves' physical conditions slightly, focusing instead on how these conditions affect their spirits and relationships.
  • Reassess the use of derogatory language to ensure it serves the narrative purpose while maintaining audience engagement. Perhaps include a moment where Solomon internally reacts to this language.
  • Add subtle physical reactions or internal thoughts from Solomon during Freeman's confrontation to create a stronger emotional connection and highlight his resilience amidst despair.



Scene 18 - A Moment of Resilience
EXT. FREEMAN'S SLAVE PEN - LATER
"Burch's stock:" arrive at Freeman's slave pen. They are
led in by Freeman and his "HOUSE SLAVE" BOB - a mulatto
slave. The yard is enclosed by plank, standing upright,
with ends sharpened instead of brick walls as with
Burch's. Including Burch's group there are about 30
SLAVES in the pen.
Solomon and the others look around and see nothing but
downtrodden and despondent faces who quietly stare back
at this new batch of arrivals.

EXT. FREEMAN'S SLAVE PEN - LATER
The slaves are in various states of undress, men and
women alike. They clean themselves, scrubbing with soap
and water. Women wash their hair. Men shave. Freeman
walks among them, inspecting them as they primp
themselves.

EXT. FREEMAN'S SLAVE PEN - LATER
The slaves are given new clothes. The men are given hat,
coat, shirt, pants and shoes. The women frocks of calico
and handkerchiefs to bind about their heads.

INT. FREEMAN'S/GREAT ROOM - LATER
It's an odd, ironic scene. The slaves are in a large and
fairly ornate room within Freeman's house. Bob plays a
tune on a fiddle - background music - as Freeman tries to
line up the slaves. It has the air of an etiquette
class, though what Freeman is trying to do is coach the
slaves into being more "sellable." He works with them in
groups of five or so.
FREEMAN
Tallest to smallest, understand?
Are yah taller than her?
TALL SLAVE
Yes, sir.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 43.

FREEMAN
Then yah'd go before her, wouldn't
yah?
TALL SLAVE
Yes, suh.
FREEMAN
Then do it. Move.

INT. FREEMAN'S/GREAT ROOM - LATER
Freeman continues to instruct. He talks with a slave, a
boy in his teens, with much condescension. As before,
Bob plays a tune. Solomon, moment by moment, become more
and more disgruntled by the playing.
FREEMAN
When yer called, do yah jus'
shuffle over? No. No, yah do
not. Yah move sprightly,
understand?
The slaves nod.
FREEMAN (CONT'D)
Lemme see yah do it. C'mon, boy.
The slave moves to Freeman quickly. Freeman smiles, rubs
the slave's head.
FREEMAN (CONT'D)
Tha's a boy.
(to all)
Yah see how this boy moves?
Sprightly. Now, g'won back over
there.

INT. FREEMAN'S/GREAT ROOM - LATER
The instruction from Freeman continues, as does the
fiddling by Bob.
FREEMAN
Keep your head up. A sense of
direction; that's how yah look
smart. None of those saucer eyes.
Rid yourself of that smile. Look
like a goddamn grinnin' monkey.
Put the least thought in yer head.
C'mon, now. Think of somethin'.
As weary as he can be of Bob's playing, Solomon moves to
Bob, he asks:
SOLOMON
Can you play a reel?
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 44.

Bob, dismissive:
BOB
Nah. I don't know no reel.
SOLOMON
If I may...?
Bob, looks to Freeman:
FREEMAN
He sick a yah caterwauling. Let
him play, boy. Le's see what he
can do.
Bob reluctantly hands the fiddle over to Solomon.
Solomon tunes it a bit, then begins to play. His fingers
stiff at first, he takes a moment to warm up. But as he
warms up he is, despite the circumstances, masterful.
The slaves all clap along... Some dance along. All
admire his work. Freeman chief among them.
FREEMAN (CONT'D)
Keep on. Keep on.
Solomon continues to play.
FREEMAN (CONT'D)
Hella better than you, Bob. Hella
better.
Bob looks bitter as Solomon plays on.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In Freeman's slave pen, Solomon and newly arrived slaves are introduced to their grim surroundings, witnessing the despair of existing slaves. Under Freeman's condescending guidance, they are cleaned and dressed for sale. Frustrated by Bob's fiddling, Solomon requests to play the fiddle himself. When he takes over, his impressive performance momentarily lifts the spirits of the other slaves, contrasting the oppressive atmosphere with a fleeting sense of hope.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Resilience theme
  • Character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Lack of direct confrontation
  • Limited character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the harsh reality of slavery and Solomon's inner strength through his music. The juxtaposition of the dehumanizing treatment of slaves with Solomon's defiance adds depth and emotion to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of showcasing the dehumanizing process of preparing slaves for sale and Solomon's defiance through music is powerful and thought-provoking. It adds depth to the narrative and explores themes of identity, dignity, and resistance.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by depicting the harsh reality of slavery and Solomon's inner strength in the face of oppression. The scene sets up the conflict and establishes the stakes for the characters, driving the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the dehumanizing effects of slavery, with authentic character interactions and a focus on individual agency within a system of oppression.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with Solomon standing out as a symbol of resilience and defiance. The interactions between the slaves and Freeman reveal the dynamics of power and oppression, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Solomon undergoes a subtle change as he asserts his defiance through music, showcasing his inner strength and resilience. The other characters also experience shifts in their dynamics with Freeman, setting up potential arcs for future development.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to maintain his dignity and sense of self-worth in the face of dehumanizing treatment and exploitation.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to survive and navigate the harsh reality of being a slave, potentially finding ways to resist or assert his agency within the system.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between the slaves' dehumanization and Solomon's defiance creates tension and emotional depth in the scene. The power dynamics between Freeman and the slaves add layers of conflict and highlight the stakes involved.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Freeman's control over the slaves creating a sense of uncertainty and danger for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the slaves are prepared for sale, facing the loss of their autonomy and dignity. Solomon's defiance and the power dynamics with Freeman raise the stakes and add tension to the scene.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the harsh reality of slavery, the dynamics between the characters, and Solomon's resilience in the face of oppression. It sets the stage for future conflicts and character developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it subverts expectations of how the protagonist will respond to dehumanizing treatment, adding complexity to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the dehumanization and objectification of slaves as commodities for sale, contrasting with Solomon's desire for autonomy and self-expression.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, eliciting feelings of sadness, resilience, and defiance. The portrayal of the slaves' struggle for dignity and Solomon's quiet rebellion adds emotional depth and impact.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the power dynamics between Freeman and the slaves, as well as Solomon's quiet defiance through his request to play a reel. It adds authenticity to the scene and enhances character development.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of tension and anticipation, drawing the audience into the protagonist's struggle for dignity and autonomy.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict and resolution through Solomon's musical performance.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to industry standards for screenplay writing, with clear scene headings, character actions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure that effectively conveys the power dynamics and conflicts at play, fitting the expected format for a historical drama.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the oppressive environment of Freeman's slave pen, showcasing the dehumanization of the slaves through their treatment and the instructions they receive. However, the transition between the different sections of the scene feels abrupt. The shifts from the yard to the great room could benefit from smoother transitions that maintain the emotional weight of the moment.
  • Freeman's character is portrayed as both authoritative and condescending, which is effective in illustrating the power dynamics at play. However, his dialogue could be more varied to avoid repetition. Phrases like 'understand?' and 'do yah' are used frequently, which can detract from the impact of his character. More unique expressions could enhance his characterization.
  • The introduction of Solomon's talent with the fiddle is a strong moment that contrasts with the bleakness of the scene. However, the emotional weight of this moment could be amplified by showing more of the other slaves' reactions to his playing. Instead of just clapping and dancing, consider including specific lines of dialogue or expressions that convey their emotional responses to the music.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The initial setup of the slaves cleaning and dressing is effective, but the subsequent instruction from Freeman could be tightened. Some lines could be cut or condensed to maintain a brisker pace, especially since the focus shifts to Solomon's playing, which should be the climax of the scene.
  • The visual descriptions are strong, but they could be enhanced by incorporating more sensory details. For example, describing the sounds of the slaves washing, the smell of soap, or the atmosphere in the great room could create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding transitional phrases or actions that connect the different parts of the scene more fluidly, helping to maintain the emotional continuity.
  • Revise Freeman's dialogue to include more varied expressions and avoid repetitive phrases, which will make his character feel more dynamic and engaging.
  • Enhance the moment when Solomon plays the fiddle by including specific reactions from the other slaves, such as dialogue or emotional expressions, to deepen the impact of his performance.
  • Tighten the pacing of Freeman's instructional dialogue by cutting unnecessary lines or condensing repetitive instructions, allowing the scene to flow more smoothly towards Solomon's performance.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enrich the visual experience of the scene, such as sounds, smells, and textures, to create a more vivid and immersive atmosphere.



Scene 19 - Heartbreak in the Great Room
EXT. FREEMAN'S/GREAT ROOM - DAY
An odd sort of sight, A JUMBLE OF ACTIVITY. CUSTOMERS
have come to see Freeman's lot - the room all gussied up
with flowers. Freeman moves among them, displaying them
as a rancher would prize chattel. Freeman makes the
slaves hold their heads up - "look smart" as he
previously admonished them. They are made to walk
briskly back and forth while customers feel their hands
and arms and bodies, turn them about and ask what skills
they possess. The Customers routinely make the slaves
open their mouths and show their teeth.
At times a man or woman are taken off to the side,
stripped and inspected more minutely.
Randall is made to run, and jump by a PROSPECTIVE BUYER.
Bob, as he's done previously, plays his fiddle.
As this occurs, as a BUYER looks over a MALE SLAVE - his
back lightly scared - Freeman gives the Buyer the soft
sell.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 45.

FREEMAN
Too few strokes is a sign they
ain't been broken. Too many tells
yah never will. This is a well
tenderized nigger here.
The Buyer is more curious in Randall.
BUYER
Your price for the boy?
FREEMAN
You see how fit he is. Like ripe
fruit. He will grow into a fine
nigger. Six hundred, and that's
fair and final. I take him
outside these gates I can name my
price.
BUYER
Will you accept a note?
Eliza is beside herself. She begs of the Buyer:
ELIZA
Please, sir, no. My baby boy,
he's my baby. Please don't divide
my family. Don't take my boy
unless you take myself and my baby
as well.
FREEMAN
Eliza, quiet!
ELIZA
You will have the most faithful
slave in me, sir. The most
faithful slave that has ever
lived. There is no way that I
will not serve, but I beg that you
not take my child.
BUYER
How much for the lot?
FREEMAN
The woman is a value in herself.
The child's a treasure. Three
thousand.
The Buyer considers, then demurs.
BUYER
I'll have the boy alone.
ELIZA
Noooo! Please, God, no!
As the Buyer writes out a note, Freeman pulls the crying
Eliza away Randall.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 46.

FREEMAN
I will beat the nonsense from you.
BUYER
Come on, lad.
They start away. Randall runs back, crying but
endeavoring to be strong:
RANDALL
Don't cry, mama. I will be a good
boy. Don't cry. I will keep my
head up, and I will look smart. I
will always look smart.
Freeman is wholly unmoved. He tears Randall away,
thrusts him to the Buyer who then pulls the crying
Randall from the room.
RANDALL (CONT'D)
Mama...! Mama!
ELIZA
Nooooo! Noooo!
All watch the price of slavery: the destruction of the
family.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In Freeman's great room, customers inspect slaves for sale, highlighting the dehumanizing nature of slavery. Eliza, a desperate mother, pleads with a buyer not to separate her from her young son, Randall, who is being considered for purchase. Despite her emotional appeals, the buyer decides to take Randall, leading to a painful separation as he tries to comfort his mother. The scene captures the tension and heartbreak of family separation, underscoring the cruelty of the slave trade.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Powerful portrayal of slavery's impact
  • Compelling character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Disturbing content
  • Heart-wrenching scenes may be difficult for some audiences to watch

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is incredibly powerful, evoking strong emotions and shedding light on the harshness of slavery. The depiction of the auction and the desperation of the characters are impactful.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of portraying the heart-wrenching separation of a mother and child during a slave auction is poignant and thought-provoking. It effectively conveys the dehumanizing nature of slavery.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the slave auction and the emotional turmoil of the characters involved. It effectively advances the narrative by showcasing the harsh realities of slavery.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic perspective on the horrors of slavery, with realistic character actions and dialogue that evoke a sense of historical accuracy.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Eliza and Randall, are portrayed with depth and emotion. Their desperation and anguish are palpable, adding layers to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

The characters, particularly Eliza and Randall, undergo significant emotional changes as they experience the trauma of the slave auction. Their desperation and resilience are highlighted.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to protect his family and maintain his dignity in the face of dehumanizing treatment. This reflects his deeper need for freedom and connection with his loved ones.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to survive the sale and maintain his composure despite the traumatic circumstances. This reflects the immediate challenge of being separated from his family and sold into slavery.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The conflict in the scene arises from the emotional turmoil of the characters, the power dynamics of the auction, and the harsh reality of slavery. It creates tension and engages the audience.

Opposition: 8

The strong opposition in the scene, represented by the dehumanizing actions of the slave traders and the protagonist's desperate attempts to protect his family, creates a sense of urgency and conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as characters face the prospect of separation, loss, and dehumanization. The emotional and physical consequences of the auction are significant.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by depicting a crucial moment in the characters' lives, revealing the harsh realities of slavery and setting the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional reactions of the characters and the uncertain outcome of the protagonist's family being separated.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the dehumanization of individuals for profit, contrasting with the protagonist's belief in the value of family and humanity. This challenges the protagonist's values and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking strong feelings of sadness, despair, and empathy. The portrayal of the separation of a mother and child is deeply moving.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is emotionally charged and conveys the pain and desperation of the characters. It effectively communicates the turmoil of the moment.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, vivid descriptions, and the high stakes involved in the protagonist's struggle to protect his family.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, keeping the reader engaged and invested in the characters' fates.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene effectively conveys the chaotic and dehumanizing atmosphere of the slave auction, enhancing the reader's immersion in the setting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a dramatic and intense moment in a historical setting, effectively building tension and emotional impact.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the dehumanizing nature of slavery through the vivid imagery of the slaves being treated as commodities. The description of Freeman's actions and dialogue reinforces his callousness, making it clear that he views the slaves as mere property rather than human beings.
  • Eliza's emotional plea to the buyer is a powerful moment that highlights the devastating impact of slavery on families. Her desperation is palpable, and it serves to evoke sympathy from the audience. However, the scene could benefit from deeper exploration of her character to enhance the emotional weight of her situation.
  • The dialogue is impactful, particularly Freeman's dismissive remarks about the slaves' worth. However, some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact. For instance, Freeman's dialogue about the scars could be more concise to maintain the scene's pacing and tension.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven at times. The initial description of the buyers inspecting the slaves is effective, but the transition to Eliza's emotional outburst could be more fluid. The scene could benefit from a more gradual build-up to her plea, allowing the audience to fully absorb the tension before the emotional climax.
  • The visual elements are strong, but the scene could be enhanced by incorporating more sensory details. Describing the sounds of the buyers, the atmosphere of the room, and the physical sensations of the slaves could create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief backstory for Eliza to provide context for her emotional plea. This could help the audience connect with her character on a deeper level and understand the stakes of her situation.
  • Tighten Freeman's dialogue to make it more impactful. For example, instead of saying 'Too few strokes is a sign they ain't been broken,' consider a more concise version that retains the meaning but flows better.
  • Enhance the pacing by allowing more time for the emotional build-up before Eliza's outburst. This could involve adding a moment of silence or hesitation from the buyers before they make their decision, heightening the tension.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enrich the scene. Describe the sounds of the buyers' voices, the atmosphere of the room, and the physical sensations of the slaves to create a more vivid experience.
  • Consider using a close-up shot of Eliza's face during her plea to emphasize her desperation and fear. This visual focus could enhance the emotional impact of the scene.



Scene 20 - Despair in the Night
EXT. FREEMAN'S SLAVE PEN - NIGHT
We are back in exterior slave pen of Freeman's estate.
The slaves are bedded down under the night sky. There is
little sleeping going on. Eliza cries to herself as
OTHER SLAVES MOAN LOUDLY AND CONTINUALLY. SOLOMON AMONG
THEM. It as though a pall has fallen over the group.
Eventually at the door to the yard appears Freeman with a
lantern in hand. Bob is at his side. With no concern
for its causation, Freeman is clearly displeased by the
racket.
FREEMAN
Quiet! Sleep, now! What's the
matter with y'all? Sleep!
He looks to Bob.
FREEMAN (CONT'D)
Make 'em sleep.
Bob now wades into the field of slaves. He shoves and
kicks at the offenders, telling them repeatedly:
BOB
Sleep now. C'mon, go on to sleep.
Yah hear Massa Freeman? Sleep.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 47.

The moaning continues. Bob's efforts do little. If
anything, the moaning grows louder. Solomon is
insistent:
SOLOMON
...We need a doctor...

EXT. FREEMAN'S SLAVE PEN - DAY
Freeman clearly having no choice but to give in and hire
a doctor; DOCTOR CARR looks over Clemens Ray.
CLEMENS
The pain in my neck and back is
violent. I'm hot and I cannot
stop with my shaking.
DOCTOR CARR
(to Freeman:)
Could be any number of things.
They seem otherwise in good
health. I wouldn't expect it to
be anything stronger than a
passing fever.
Solomon, hearing this, speaks plainly:
SOLOMON
Small pox. On the ship that
brought us down one of our number
died of the disease.
The doctor stares at Solomon for a moment. Clearly this
development isn't a good thing.

EXT. STREET - LATER
Solomon, Eliza, Clemens Ray, John and a few more sickly
slaves are being driven in a wagon by Dr. Carr.

EXT. CHARITY HOSPITAL - LATER
The group arrives to CHARITY HOSPITAL which is built just
outside of the city. It is a fairly large, three story
structure of white marble.
Around the back of the hospital the group sees COFFINS
BEING BUILT AND PREPARED BY CARPENTERS. Dozens and
dozens of them. Not exactly a comforting sight.

INT. CHARITY HOSPITAL - LATER
The group, led by Doctor Carr, enters. Though a
hospital, it doesn't really seems a place for healing.
More a place for dying; a place where the sick are
brought and kept until they can be delivered to the death
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 48.

which waits for them. As if to underscore this, we CAN
HEAR THE MOANS OF PATIENTS drifting through the hallways.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the dark of night at Freeman's slave pen, the atmosphere is filled with distress as slaves, particularly Eliza, cry out in anguish. Freeman arrives, demanding silence and instructing Bob to quiet the restless slaves, but his efforts fail. Solomon insists on the need for a doctor, leading to the reluctant hiring of Doctor Carr to examine the ailing Clemens Ray, who shows symptoms of smallpox. The next day, a group of sick slaves, including Solomon and Eliza, are transported to Charity Hospital, where they are confronted with the grim reality of their situation, as coffins are prepared and the hospital echoes with the sounds of suffering, highlighting the oppressive despair surrounding them.
Strengths
  • Emotional impact
  • Character depth
  • Atmospheric setting
Weaknesses
  • Depiction of violence
  • Lack of resolution for character struggles

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional and physical toll of slavery, creating a sense of despair and suffering that resonates with the audience. The portrayal of the characters' struggles and the harsh environment is impactful and evocative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of portraying the brutal conditions and emotional turmoil of slavery in Freeman's slave pen is powerful and thought-provoking. The scene effectively explores the themes of despair, resilience, and the dehumanizing effects of slavery.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the characters' struggles in Freeman's slave pen, highlighting their physical ailments, emotional distress, and the harsh treatment they endure. The progression from disturbance to medical intervention adds depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the horrors of slavery, with authentic dialogue and actions that feel true to the characters' experiences.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene are well-developed, showcasing their resilience, despair, and emotional depth in the face of adversity. Eliza's desperation, Solomon's resilience, and the sickly slaves' suffering are portrayed with authenticity and nuance.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional and physical changes in the scene, from Eliza's desperation to Solomon's resilience and the sickly slaves' deteriorating health. The challenges they face in Freeman's slave pen shape their character arcs and highlight their strength in adversity.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to seek medical help for the sick slaves, reflecting his compassion and sense of responsibility towards his fellow enslaved individuals.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to ensure the sick slaves receive proper medical attention, reflecting the immediate challenge of dealing with a potential smallpox outbreak.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, from the physical ailments of the slaves to their emotional distress and the power dynamics within the slave pen. The conflict between the characters and their oppressive environment drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing obstacles and conflicts that add complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters face physical ailments, emotional distress, and separation from loved ones in the oppressive environment of Freeman's slave pen. The risk of illness, mistreatment, and further suffering raises the stakes for the characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by showcasing the characters' struggles in Freeman's slave pen, setting the stage for further developments and highlighting the harsh realities of slavery. The progression from disturbance to medical intervention adds depth to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turn of events with the potential smallpox outbreak and the characters' uncertain fate.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the dehumanization of the slaves by their owners, contrasting with Solomon's belief in the value of human life and dignity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, fear, and empathy in the audience. The portrayal of suffering, despair, and resilience elicits a strong emotional response, immersing viewers in the characters' plight.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions, struggles, and interactions, adding depth to their portrayals. The exchanges between Freeman, Bob, and the slaves capture the power dynamics and tensions within the slave pen.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, moral dilemmas, and high stakes for the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged with the unfolding events.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a dramatic scene set in a historical context.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the tension and urgency of the situation.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the despair and hopelessness of the enslaved individuals, particularly through Eliza's emotional state and the moaning of the other slaves. This sets a somber tone that aligns well with the overall themes of the screenplay.
  • Freeman's character is established as a cruel and indifferent figure, which is crucial for illustrating the oppressive environment. However, his dialogue could be more varied to enhance his characterization. Currently, his commands feel repetitive and could benefit from more depth or nuance to reflect his personality.
  • The transition from night to day is handled well, but the pacing feels slightly rushed. The shift from the emotional weight of the night scene to the more clinical atmosphere of the hospital could be more gradual, allowing the audience to fully absorb the gravity of the situation.
  • Solomon's identification of smallpox adds a layer of intelligence and agency to his character, but it could be emphasized further. Perhaps a brief moment of internal conflict or fear about speaking up could enhance the stakes and show his awareness of the risks involved in asserting himself.
  • The description of Charity Hospital as a place of dying rather than healing is powerful, but it could be visually reinforced through more sensory details. Describing the sights, sounds, and smells in a more vivid manner could enhance the atmosphere and evoke a stronger emotional response from the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more varied dialogue for Freeman to showcase his personality and make him a more complex antagonist. This could involve moments of frustration, arrogance, or even a hint of insecurity.
  • Slow down the pacing between the transition from the slave pen to the hospital. Perhaps include a moment where the characters reflect on their situation or share a brief conversation that highlights their fears and hopes.
  • Enhance Solomon's character by including a moment of hesitation or fear when he identifies the disease. This could create a more relatable and humanizing moment for the audience.
  • Incorporate more sensory details in the hospital scene to create a vivid atmosphere. Describe the sounds of moaning, the sterile smell of the hospital, or the sight of the coffins being prepared to evoke a stronger emotional reaction.
  • Consider adding a moment of connection between the characters as they are transported to the hospital. This could be a shared look or a brief exchange that highlights their solidarity in suffering, reinforcing the theme of community among the enslaved.



Scene 21 - Endurance in Suffering
INT. HOSPITAL/PATIENTS WARD - LATER
It is a large and not particularly sanitary room filled
with row after row of beds. Nearly all the beds are
filled with patients of both sexes and all ages. In this
ward, ALL THE PATIENTS ARE BLACK, and all are suffering
from smallpox. There is very little treatment going on.
Mostly the patients are being made "comfortable," though
even that is relative.
With a few WHITE NURSES - but mostly BLACK WARDS -
looking on the slaves are stripped of their clothing and
given hospital gowns to wear. As they dress, the group
hears THE TOLL OF A BELL.

INT. HOSPITAL/PATIENTS WARD - LATER
A couple of days have passed. Solomon lays in bed next
to Clemens Ray. We are at the height of Solomon's
illness. As with Robert, he is a hideous sight. There
are pustules all over is body, and Clemens as well.
Solomon is nearly blind with pain and suffering. His
cries are pitiable, and blend with the continual wail
that comes from the room.

INT. HOSPITAL/PATIENTS ROOM - LATER
Solomon is being given care by a BLACK WARD. His puss
sacks are being drained. ON OCCASION, IN THE BG, WE HEAR
THE SOUND OF THE BELL TOLLING. Solomon looks over to
Clemens who is in a more advanced state. In some ways
it's as though Solomon's looking at future projection of
himself. Is this what's waiting for him? And under the
circumstances would such an end be so bad?

INT. HOSPITAL/PATIENTS ROOM - LATER
Again, days on. A DOCTOR covers Clemens Ray with a
blanket. Clearly he is dead. The doctor sends off a
WARD. A few moments later, as the body is being taken
away, THE BELL TOLLS.
As he lays in bed, Solomon's head lolls to one side. He
looks toward the WINDOW. The light of the sun flares off
the pane. The glass, poorly made, refracts the sunlight
and casts off a slight spectrum of color. It dances
across Solomon's face. The light in his eyes offering
him more pain the solace, but he cannot help but look at
it. As he looks toward the light, as his eyes flutter
between life and lifelessness...
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 49.

INT. NORTHUP HOUSE - FLASHBACK
It is years prior. The odyssey that awaits Solomon
cannot even begin to even enter his mind. Solomon is
with his family - Anne, Elizabeth, Margaret and Alonzo.
Solomon holds in his hand and up to the light of the
window a SMALL, STAINED GLASS MEDALLION. Nothing too
elaborate. Something a child would, and in fact has,
made; a simple, colored flower. Five pedals surrounding
a flower head. As light passes through the stained glass
the colors resemble those of the previous scene. Though,
at this moment, as he marvels at the gift from Elizabeth,
there is much joy in his heart.
SOLOMON
You made it? Yourself?
ELIZABETH
Nearly so.
ANNE
She had a little help around the
fire. Nothing more.
ALONZO
It's rather plain.
ANNE
Hush! It's beautiful.
SOLOMON
Precious. It is precious.
MARGARET
May I wear it?
ELIZABETH
It's for father!
ALONZO
I can play the drum.
SOLOMON
A brief exhibition around
Margaret's neck before I reclaim
it.
As Solomon fastens the medallion around Margaret's neck,
Alonzo takes up a small drum and begins to beat it
mercilessly as he runs around the room. Margaret strokes
the medallion and smiles.
ALONZO
Do you like my drumming?
ANNE
I believe we have raised a master
of fortissimo.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 50.

MARGARET
I adore it. Will you fashion one
for me?
ANNE
For me as well.
ELIZABETH
Come, Margaret. Into the light.
Elizabeth beckons Margaret closer to the window,
Elizabeth holding up the medallion to the light. Anne
remains close to Solomon as he stares at the light coming
from the pendant.
OVER THIS WE HEAR an emotional supplication from Solomon:
SOLOMON (V.O.)
Lord... Have I not always been
faithful? Did I not put you above
all else?

INT. HOSPITAL/PATIENTS ROOM - CONTINUOUS
We have returned from the flashback. Solomon remains in
bed, looking far worse than just previously. Though his
lips move barely if at all, we hear the payer coming from
him.
SOLOMON
Did I not believe my gifts were of
your grace and not my creation? I
have always been faithful, Lord.
I ask you reward my devotion. I
beg of you only one thing: I pray
you end the suffering. Death is
better than all that waits. Take
me, Lord... Take my life. Lord.
...Lord?

BLACK

INT. HOSPITAL/RECOVERY WARD - LATER
We are in a recovery ward in the hospital. Really, not
much different than the sick ward, other than the fact
that these PATIENTS have survived the illness and are
going to live. We see Solomon sitting up in bed. As
with all the other patients, his pustules have abated,
but they have left his face and body scarred. HE WILL
REMAIN THIS WAY FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. Yet one more
physical reminder of all that he's been through even at
this relatively short stage of his enslavement.
As he sits, the door of the ward opens. Eliza is walked
in and ushered over to a bed. She, too, has obviously
survived the ordeal. But also, as with Solomon, she is
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 51.

now scared as well. Along with having lost a child, her
illness seems to have had a substantial negative effect
on not just her physical health, but Eliza's mental
health as well.
For a moment Solomon and Eliza just sit among the other
recovering patients, waiting for what is to come next.

BLACK
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a grim hospital ward during a smallpox outbreak, Solomon Northup lies gravely ill alongside Clemens Ray, who ultimately succumbs to the disease. As Solomon endures intense pain, he reflects on happier times with his family, contrasting his current suffering. He prays for relief, contemplating death over continued agony. The scene shifts to a recovery ward where Solomon, now scarred but alive, is joined by Eliza, who has also survived, highlighting their shared trauma and silent understanding.
Strengths
  • Emotional impact
  • Character resilience
  • Survival theme
Weaknesses
  • Graphic depiction of suffering
  • Lack of hope

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the devastating impact of smallpox on the characters, evoking strong emotions and highlighting the harsh conditions they endure. The portrayal of survival amidst despair is poignant and compelling.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of depicting the aftermath of smallpox on the enslaved characters is powerful and thought-provoking. It explores themes of suffering, survival, and resilience in the face of adversity.

Plot: 8

The plot focuses on the characters' struggle with smallpox and their journey towards survival, effectively highlighting the challenges they face and the emotional impact of their experiences.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the themes of suffering, faith, and survival, presenting them in a unique historical context. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters' reactions to the illness and their resilience in the face of suffering are well-portrayed, adding depth and emotional complexity to the scene. Their interactions and struggles enhance the overall impact of the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo significant changes as they confront the harsh reality of smallpox and the challenges of survival, showcasing their resilience and strength in the face of adversity.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to end his suffering and find relief from the pain he is experiencing. This reflects his deeper desire for freedom from the physical and emotional torment he is enduring.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to survive the illness and recover from smallpox. This goal reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene arises from the characters' struggle with illness and their fight for survival, adding tension and emotional depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as Solomon faces the challenge of surviving a deadly illness and questioning his faith in the face of suffering.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes in the scene are evident through the characters' fight for survival in the face of a deadly illness, highlighting the life-threatening consequences of their situation.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by depicting the characters' struggle with smallpox and their journey towards survival, advancing the narrative and adding depth to the overall plot.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in terms of Solomon's fate and the outcome of his illness. The uncertainty adds tension and keeps the audience invested in the story.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of faith, suffering, and the concept of divine intervention. Solomon questions his faith and pleads with the Lord to end his suffering, highlighting a conflict between his beliefs and his current circumstances.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, despair, and empathy for the characters' suffering. The portrayal of resilience and survival adds depth to the emotional resonance of the scene.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions and struggles, adding depth to their interactions and highlighting the harsh reality of their situation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, vivid imagery, and the characters' compelling internal conflicts. The reader is drawn into Solomon's plight and his desperate plea for relief.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively conveys the progression of Solomon's illness and his emotional turmoil. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions enhances the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, effectively conveying the setting, characters, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the progression of Solomon's illness and his internal struggles. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's emotional impact.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the grim reality of Solomon's illness and the oppressive atmosphere of the hospital, emphasizing the dehumanization of enslaved individuals. The use of vivid imagery, such as the 'row after row of beds' and the 'pustules all over' Solomon's body, creates a visceral sense of suffering that resonates with the audience.
  • The contrast between the flashback of Solomon's family and the current suffering in the hospital is poignant, highlighting the loss of his previous life and the emotional weight of his current situation. This juxtaposition serves to deepen the audience's understanding of Solomon's character and his longing for his family.
  • The dialogue, particularly Solomon's prayer, is powerful and conveys his desperation and faith. However, it could benefit from more variation in tone and pacing to enhance the emotional impact. The repetition of 'Lord' could be streamlined to maintain the intensity without losing the essence of his plea.
  • The transition between the hospital scenes and the flashback is well-executed, but the pacing could be improved. The scene feels slightly drawn out, particularly in the hospital sections, which may cause the audience to lose focus. Tightening the dialogue and action could maintain engagement.
  • The visual elements, such as the 'light of the sun' and the 'spectrum of color,' are effective in symbolizing hope amidst despair. However, the description could be more concise to avoid overwhelming the reader with details. Focusing on key visuals that enhance the emotional tone would strengthen the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue in Solomon's prayer to maintain emotional intensity while avoiding redundancy. Streamlining phrases can enhance the impact of his desperation.
  • Enhance the pacing by condensing some of the hospital scenes. Focus on key moments that highlight Solomon's suffering and his reflections, allowing for a more dynamic flow.
  • Incorporate more varied emotional responses from Solomon and other patients to create a richer tapestry of experiences in the hospital. This could include brief interactions or shared glances that convey solidarity among the suffering.
  • Utilize more concise visual descriptions to maintain clarity and focus. Highlight only the most impactful imagery that reinforces the emotional tone of the scene.
  • Consider adding a moment of connection or interaction between Solomon and another patient to deepen the sense of community and shared suffering, which could enhance the emotional weight of the scene.



Scene 22 - The Heartbreaking Auction
EXT. FREEMAN'S/GREAT ROOM - DAY
We are back in Freeman's great room. It is almost as if
the intervening never happened. The slaves are again on
display. Bob, again, playing the fiddle as the BUYERS
move among the prospective sales; a jumble of question
and conversations which Freeman fields.
Among the buys we see WILLIAM FORD; a good-looking man,
who has appeared to have reached the middle age of life.
There is something cheerful and attractive in his face
and tone of voice.
FORD
What is the price for the ones
Harry, Platt and Eliza?
FREEMAN
Nine Hundred for Harry, a thousand
for Platt; he is a nigger of
talent. Seven hundred for Eliza.
My fairest price, sir.
FORD
You will exchange a note?
FREEMAN
As always, from you, Mr. Ford.
Eliza, pulling Emily forward and putting her on urgent
display:
ELIZA
Sir... Sir, she is my baby.
Stepping in, attempting to explain things.
SOLOMON
Sir, she watched as her only boy
was sold off. If there is any way
in your heart--
FREEMAN
You will be quiet.
SOLOMON
To not separate them further, sir.
The Lord almost took her with
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 52.
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
disease. If He would not separate
Mother and Child, are any of us to
do more?
FORD
What is her price?
FREEMAN
(spitefully)
I won't sell the girl.
FORD
And you have no need for her. One
so young will bring you no profit.
FREEMAN
Theys heaps 'n piles of money to
be made of her. She is a beauty.
One of the regular bloods, none of
your thick-lipped, bullet heated,
cotton picking niggers.
FORD
Her child, man. For God's sake,
are you not sentimental in the
least?
FREEMAN
My sentimentality stretches to the
length of a coin. Do you want the
lot, Mr. Ford, or do you pass on
'em all?
FORD
I will take them.
Eliza grips Emily tight.
ELIZA
I will not go without her. You
will not take her from me.
AS if to prove her wrong, Freeman puts a foot to Eliza
and harshly kicks her away from Eliza.
ELIZA (CONT'D)
Please, don't. No!
Freeman, to Bob:
FREEMAN
Take her out of here.
Bob begins to pull Eliza away toward the door of the
room, but her screaming and pleading do not abate. IT IS
CLEARLY UNSETTLING TO THE OTHER BUYERS.
FREEMAN (CONT'D)
Keep her quiet.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 53.

Bob tries to muzzle her with his hand, but Eliza
continues to scream for her child as Emily does for her
mother.
EMILY
Don't leave, mama. Mama, don't
leave me!
FREEMAN
(to Solomon)
Play something! Get the fiddle
and play.
As ordered, Solomon takes up Bob's fiddle and begins to
play lightly.
FREEMAN (CONT'D)
Play!
Solomon begins to play harder and louder. Still, it is
barely enough to drown out Eliza's cries. Freeman gets
the other slaves to clap along with Solomon's playing.
FREEMAN (CONT'D)
Goddamn it, Bob, yah keep her
quiet or it's yer damned hide I
will take it out of!
Bob pulls a rag, stuffs it in Eliza's mouth. Clamping
both hands over her mouth, he hauls Eliza from the room
by the head. It is an ugly, ugly scene.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In Freeman's great room, slaves are displayed for potential buyers. William Ford inquires about their prices, showing concern for the separation of Eliza and her child, Emily. Eliza pleads desperately to keep her daughter, but Freeman prioritizes profit and refuses to sell Emily. As Eliza is forcibly taken away, screaming for her child, Solomon is left powerless, forced to play music to drown out her cries, highlighting the cruelty of slavery and the anguish of familial separation.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Powerful performances
  • Compelling conflict resolution
Weaknesses
  • Disturbing subject matter
  • Graphic violence

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is incredibly powerful and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the harshness of the slave trade and the heartbreak of separation. The tension and cruelty depicted make it a compelling and impactful moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of portraying a slave auction and the emotional turmoil of a mother and child being separated is poignant and thought-provoking. It effectively conveys the dehumanizing nature of slavery and the devastating consequences for families.

Plot: 8.8

The plot progression in the scene revolves around the auction and the emotional conflict between the characters. It drives the narrative forward while deepening the audience's understanding of the characters' struggles.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the depiction of slavery, focusing on the emotional turmoil of the characters and the moral dilemmas they face. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with Eliza and Freeman standing out for their emotional depth and contrasting motivations. Their interactions add layers to the story and evoke strong reactions from the audience.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo significant emotional changes in the scene, particularly Eliza, whose desperation and sorrow are palpable as she fights to protect her child. The experience leaves a lasting impact on their psyche and relationships.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect her child and prevent separation from her. This reflects her deep need for family and connection, as well as her fear of losing her child.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to convince the buyer to not separate her from her child. This reflects the immediate challenge of the slave trade and the harsh reality of being owned by another person.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.2

The conflict in the scene is intense and emotionally charged, stemming from the separation of a mother and child during a slave auction. The power dynamics and moral dilemmas create a palpable sense of tension and drama.

Opposition: 9

The strong opposition in the scene creates a sense of conflict and uncertainty, adding to the dramatic tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are incredibly high in the scene, as Eliza faces the prospect of losing her child to the brutal slave trade. The emotional and moral dilemmas heighten the tension and underscore the life-and-death consequences of their actions.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of the characters' struggles and the harsh realities of slavery. It sets the stage for further developments and explores key themes central to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and decisions made by the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident in the differing values of the characters. Freeman values profit and sees the slaves as commodities, while Eliza values family and connection. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about humanity and morality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a profound emotional impact on the audience, eliciting feelings of sadness, empathy, and outrage. The heart-wrenching portrayal of a mother's anguish and the cruelty of the slave trade resonates deeply with viewers.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations, adding depth to their interactions. It enhances the tension and drama of the moment, making the audience empathize with the characters' plight.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, emotional intensity, and moral dilemmas faced by the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, enhancing the emotional impact of the confrontation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, adhering to the expected format for a screenplay.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively conveys the tension and conflict, following the expected format for a dramatic confrontation.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the brutality and inhumanity of the slave trade, particularly through Eliza's desperate pleas and Freeman's cold, transactional demeanor. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtlety; some lines feel overly expository and could be reworked to convey the same emotions through action and subtext.
  • The emotional weight of Eliza's situation is palpable, but the scene risks becoming melodramatic with the heightened cries and physical violence. Balancing the emotional intensity with moments of silence or stillness could enhance the impact of the scene, allowing the audience to absorb the gravity of the situation.
  • The character of Freeman comes across as one-dimensional, primarily serving as the antagonist. Adding layers to his character—perhaps through brief moments of internal conflict or a hint of backstory—could make him more compelling and provide a richer narrative experience.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly during the climax of Eliza's pleading. Allowing for longer pauses between dialogue and actions could heighten tension and give the audience time to process the emotional stakes.
  • The use of music as a tool to drown out Eliza's cries is a powerful choice, but it could be more effectively integrated. Consider using the music to reflect Solomon's internal struggle—perhaps he starts playing softly, conflicted, and gradually builds to a more frantic tempo as the situation escalates.
Suggestions
  • Consider incorporating more visual storytelling elements to convey the emotional weight of the scene. For example, close-ups of the characters' faces during key moments could enhance the audience's connection to their suffering.
  • Revise Freeman's dialogue to include more subtext, allowing his character to reveal his motivations and personality through actions and reactions rather than explicit statements.
  • Introduce a moment of silence or stillness after Eliza's initial pleas to allow the audience to absorb the gravity of her situation before the chaos ensues. This could create a more impactful emotional crescendo.
  • Explore the possibility of adding a brief flashback or memory for Solomon during the scene, contrasting the current horror with a moment of joy or family, which could deepen the emotional resonance.
  • Consider varying the tone of Solomon's music throughout the scene to reflect the changing dynamics—starting soft and mournful, then becoming more frantic as the situation escalates, ultimately reflecting his internal turmoil.



Scene 23 - Arrival at the Ford Plantation
EXT. FORD PLANTATION - LATER
Driven in a horse drawn wagon by Ford is the group of
Solomon, John and Eliza. Eliza is sullen to say the
least. With the loss of her two children she has dropped
into a depression she will not be able to pull out of.
They arrive to the FORD PLANTATION. The main house of
the plantation - the GREAT HOUSE as they are commonly
called - is sizable. Two stories high with a piazza in
front. In the rear are also a log kitchen, poultry
house, croncribs and several slave cabins. The
plantation is described as "a green spot in the
wilderness."
With the arrival of Master Ford there is a flurry of
activity - the "excitement" of a new delivery - as a
"yellow girl," ROSE announces his return. Present with
Rose is her husband, a slave named WALTON. Rose calls to
her Mistress - MISTRESS FORD.
ROSE
Mistress! Mistress, they arrivn'.
Mistress Ford EXITS the house and travels to her husband,
kisses him, then laughingly inquires:
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 54.

MRS. FORD
Did you bring those niggers?
Three of them? You got three?
(calling off:)
Sally...!
FORD
Make me something to eat, dear.
The day has taken it from me.
MRS. FORD
Rose, fetch Sally.
ROSE
Yes, ma'am.
MRS. FORD
Tell her there are three new
niggers.
ROSE
Yes, ma'am.
(calling off)
Sally...!
MRS. FORD
Do not yell for her. Run fetch
her.
Rose runs off to fetch Sally. Mrs. Ford turns her
attention to the new arrivals.
MRS. FORD (CONT'D)
Let me get a look at them... Do
they have any skills? What do
they do?
Indicating to Solomon and John:
FORD
Walton, tomorrow you will take
these two up to the mill and start
them workin'.
WALTON
Yeh, suh.
MRS. FORD
(re: Eliza)
This one's cryin'. Why is this
one cryin'?
FORD
Separated from her child.
MRS. FORD
Oh, dear.
FORD
It couldn't be helped.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 55.

Moving with alacrity, Rose returns with SALLY; another
female slave.
SALLY
Suh...?
FORD
Sally, take these new niggers
around to your cabin. Fix them a
meal, and have them rest
themselves.
SALLY
Yeh, suh, Massa Ford.
(to the slaves:)
C'mon, now. C'mon. Don't dawdle.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary As Ford drives a horse-drawn wagon to the Ford Plantation, Solomon, John, and a grieving Eliza arrive amidst the plantation's bustling activity. Mistress Ford greets them with indifference, particularly towards Eliza's sorrow over her lost children. Master Ford assigns Solomon and John to work at the mill, while Eliza's emotional state is acknowledged but not addressed. Rose is tasked with fetching Sally to care for the new arrivals, and the scene concludes with Sally leading them to her cabin for rest and food.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Setting establishment
  • Tension and conflict
Weaknesses
  • Lack of resolution for Eliza's despair
  • Limited character interactions

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of the characters' experiences, sets up the plantation setting, and establishes the tone of the narrative. It is well-paced and impactful, drawing the audience into the harsh realities of slavery.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of depicting the arrival at the Ford Plantation and the interactions between the characters is well-executed. It effectively conveys the themes of separation, dehumanization, and the power dynamics of slavery.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene revolves around the introduction of the characters to the plantation, setting up conflicts, and establishing the dynamics between the slaves and the owners. It moves the story forward and lays the groundwork for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to depicting the brutality of slavery and the emotional struggles of the characters. The dialogue feels authentic and adds depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their emotions are portrayed authentically. The scene allows for character development, especially in Eliza's despair and Solomon's resilience.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional changes in the scene, particularly Eliza's descent into despair and Solomon's resilience in the face of adversity. These changes set the stage for their arcs in the narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

Eliza's internal goal is to cope with the loss of her children and her resulting depression. This reflects her deeper need for emotional healing and stability.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate the challenges of being a slave on the plantation and follow the orders given by the plantation owner.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7.5

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, with characters grappling with their emotions, the harsh reality of slavery, and the power dynamics at play. The tension is palpable, especially in Eliza's despair.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing challenges and conflicts that add depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters face the harsh reality of slavery, family separation, and dehumanization. The emotional and physical stakes are palpable, adding tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing key elements, establishing the plantation setting, and setting up conflicts and dynamics that will drive the narrative forward.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics and the characters' conflicting motivations.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is evident in the treatment of slaves as property and the lack of empathy shown towards their emotional struggles. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about humanity and morality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, despair, and empathy for the characters. The separation of families and the dehumanizing treatment of slaves resonate strongly with the audience.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and relationships between the characters. It sets the tone for the interactions and establishes the power dynamics at play.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the tension between the characters, the emotional stakes, and the unfolding power dynamics.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and highlights the emotional turmoil of the characters.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the conventions of the genre, making the scene easy to follow and engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a historical drama, effectively setting up the conflict and introducing the characters.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of Eliza's depression following the loss of her children, but it could benefit from deeper exploration of her internal struggle. Consider adding a moment where Eliza expresses her grief more explicitly, perhaps through a brief monologue or a poignant interaction with Solomon or John that highlights her despair.
  • The dialogue between the characters feels somewhat superficial and lacks emotional depth. While it serves to convey the plot, it doesn't fully engage the audience's empathy. For instance, Mrs. Ford's casual inquiries about the slaves' skills come off as callous given the context of their suffering. This could be enhanced by incorporating more nuanced dialogue that reflects the moral complexities of the characters' situations.
  • The description of the Ford Plantation as 'a green spot in the wilderness' is a strong visual, but the scene could benefit from more sensory details that immerse the audience in the setting. Consider adding descriptions of sounds, smells, or the atmosphere that contrast the beauty of the plantation with the grim reality of slavery.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transition from the arrival of the wagon to the interactions with the Fords. Slowing down the moment to allow for more character reactions and emotional beats could enhance the impact of the scene. For example, a moment of silence or a shared glance between the slaves could emphasize their shared trauma.
  • The character of Rose is introduced but not fully developed. Providing her with a line or two that reflects her awareness of the situation or her feelings about the new arrivals could add depth to her character and the overall scene. This would also help to create a more complex social dynamic among the slaves and their owners.
Suggestions
  • Add a moment where Eliza vocalizes her grief, perhaps by speaking to Solomon or John about her lost children, to deepen the emotional resonance of her character.
  • Revise Mrs. Ford's dialogue to reflect a more complex understanding of the situation, perhaps by showing her conflicted feelings about the slaves' suffering, which would add depth to her character.
  • Incorporate more sensory details in the setting description to create a vivid contrast between the beauty of the plantation and the harsh realities of slavery.
  • Slow down the pacing of the scene to allow for more emotional beats, such as a moment of silence or shared understanding among the characters, to enhance the impact of their situation.
  • Develop Rose's character further by giving her a line that reflects her awareness of the slaves' plight, which would enrich the social dynamics at play in the scene.



Scene 24 - Shadows of Sorrow and Labor
EXT. FORD PLANTATION/SALLY'S CABIN - MOMENTS LATER
The group rounds the house to Sally's cabin. There are
TWO YOUNG CHILDREN - naked, having been in the middle of
getting washed - playing in the grass. As the group
arrives, the kids jump up and toddle toward them, look at
them "as though they were a brace of rabbits," then run
off.

INT. FORD PLANTATION/SALLY'S CABIN - CONTINUOUS
Sally conducts the group into her cabin. As they enter,
Sally instructs:
SALLY
Lay down your bundles. Seat
yourselves. Rest while yah can.
Tomorrow'll be work. Ya'll work
everyday 'cept fer the Sabbath.
Still, it's up in the mornin'.
Massa Ford read us the scripture
'fo we's left ta ourselves.
Just then JOHN, a young slave of about sixteen years of
age comes RUNNING IN. He looks steadily in the faces of
the newly arrived slaves, then turns and runs back out
without saying a word. He does however LAUGH LOUDLY as
if their arrival was a great joke.

EXT. WOODS - DAY
We are in a wooded area. There is A GANG OF SLAVES
chopping trees into timber. It is hard, laborious work
made no more easy by the sweltering heat. Solomon and
John are chief among them, but also present are two
slaves in particular; SAM and HARRY as well as Walton
who's basically in charge of the group.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 56.

EXT. WOODS - LATER
The slaves now load the timber onto a horse drawn wagon.
Again, hard work done under the ever present sun.

EXT. ROAD - LATER
As Walton drives the wagon, the other slaves trudge along
side by foot. We should get the sense the travel is long
and tedious.

EXT. FORD'S MILL - LATER
It is a sizable mill on the edge of Indian Creek. There
is much work being done, the slaves primarily employed in
piling the timber and chopping it into lumber. As
before, there is little doubt about the rigors of the job
at hand.
At the mill the slaves are overseen by ADAM TAYDEM.
Working as a carpenter at the mill is JOHN TIBEATS.
There are also various CUSTOMERS who move about placing
orders.

EXT. FORD PLANTATION - DAY
It's Sunday morning. All of Ford's slaves are dressed
with their "finest" clothes - brightly colored and as
free as possible of defect. The slaves are gathered on
the lawn just beyond the piazza. Mistress Ford is
present as well. As the slaves listen, Ford reads to
them Scripture. His tone is of a man trying to preach by
way of compassion.
FORD
"But as touching the resurrection
of the dead, have ye not read that
which was spoken unto you by God,
saying, I am the God of Abraham,
and the God of Isaac, and the God
of Jacob. God is not the God of
the dead, but of the living. And
when the multitude heard this,
they were astonished at his
doctrine. But when the Pharisees
had heard that he had put the
Sadducees to silence, they were
gathered together. Then one of
them, which was a lawyer, asked
him a question, tempting him, and
saying, Master, which is the
great commandment in the law?
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt
love the Lord thy God with all thy
heart, and with all thy soul, and
with all thy mind. This is the
first and great commandment. And
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 57.
FORD (CONT'D)
the second is like unto it, thou
shalt love thy neighbor as
thyself. On these two
commandments hang all the law and
the prophets."
Despite the lightness with which Ford speaks and the hope
in his words, Eliza sits off to the side - self-secluded
a bit - weeping gently.
We should be able to see in Mistress Ford's eyes that
Eliza's constant crying is unsettling.

EXT. WOODS - DAY
Again we see Walton's gang of slaves working in the
woods, turning the trees into timber. As before, it is
hot and hard work.

EXT. ROAD - LATER
And once again we see the slaves make the tedious trek
from the woods to the mill.

EXT. FORD'S MILL - DAY
The slaves now work at unloading the timber. Though they
work hard, it is not nearly hard enough for Taydem.
TAYDEM
Move. Move damn it. Yah wastin'
daylight.
FORD
Mind your tone, Adam.
TAYDEM
...Suh...

EXT. FORD PLANTATION/SALLY'S CABIN - NIGHT
Solomon is grinding corn along with Sally. Sally's two
children are present. Rose knits Emily's hair. From
time to time, Solomon pops little bits of corn toward the
children and they attempt to catch it in their mouths.
When they do, they squeal with delight.
As the children laugh, a still clearly heartbroken Eliza
says wistfully:
ELIZA
I think Emily had a very good day
today. Very happy. I know
Randall is well; a stout boy.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 58.

She begins to weep. Thoughts of her children too heavy
to bear. Giving her warning:
SALLY
Yah need to stop wit yer carryin;
on. Yah jus' upset the Mistress.
Yer chilr'n gone. Ain't no
otherwise. And ain't nuthin' ta
do but 'cept it.
Sally's frankness does nothing to easy Eliza's crying.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary At the Ford Plantation, the scene opens with playful children outside Sally's cabin, contrasting sharply with the arrival of newly enslaved individuals. Inside, Sally welcomes them and introduces their work schedule. John, a young slave, laughs at the newcomers before joining others in the grueling task of chopping timber in the woods. As they labor under the watchful eyes of Adam Taydem and carpenter John Tibeats, the emotional weight of the situation is felt, especially during Sunday scripture readings led by Ford, where Eliza mourns her lost children. Despite Sally's attempts to console her, Eliza's grief remains unresolved. The scene concludes with Solomon and Sally grinding corn, underscoring the persistent sorrow amidst the harsh realities of plantation life.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Realistic portrayal of slavery
  • Impactful storytelling
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Limited character development

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional depth and struggles of the characters, creating a poignant and impactful narrative. The exploration of loss, resilience, and the harsh conditions of slavery is compelling and thought-provoking.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring loss, resilience, and the dehumanizing effects of slavery is well-developed in the scene. It delves into the emotional and physical challenges faced by the characters, creating a compelling and thought-provoking narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on showcasing the daily life and struggles of the enslaved individuals at the Ford Plantation, as well as the emotional turmoil experienced by Eliza. It effectively sets up the dynamics and challenges faced by the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the theme of slavery, focusing on the internal struggles and resilience of the characters rather than sensationalizing the violence or brutality. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, particularly Eliza, Solomon, and John, are well-developed and their emotional depth is effectively portrayed. The interactions and reactions of the characters add layers to the narrative, enhancing the overall impact.

Character Changes: 7

While there are subtle shifts in the characters' emotions and perspectives, particularly Eliza's deepening grief and Solomon's growing understanding of their situation, the scene focuses more on the emotional turmoil and daily struggles rather than significant character changes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to cope with the loss of her children and find a way to endure the hardships of slavery while maintaining her sense of self and dignity.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to survive the grueling work and mistreatment on the plantation while navigating the complex relationships with other slaves and the overseers.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on Eliza's grief and the struggles of the enslaved individuals rather than external confrontations. It adds depth to the narrative and character development.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, presenting challenges and obstacles that test the characters' resilience, beliefs, and values, keeping the audience on edge and invested in the outcome.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are high in terms of the emotional turmoil, resilience, and survival of the enslaved individuals. The harsh conditions of slavery and the loss experienced by the characters heighten the stakes and add tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the setting, dynamics, and challenges faced by the characters at the Ford Plantation. It sets the stage for further developments and explores the emotional depth of the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected emotional twists, challenges the characters' beliefs and values, and keeps the audience guessing about the characters' fates.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of faith, resilience, and the struggle for humanity in the face of inhumane treatment. It challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the face of adversity and tests her ability to find hope and meaning in a hopeless situation.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, despair, and resilience in the audience. The portrayal of loss and the harsh conditions of slavery elicit strong emotional responses, making the scene memorable.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and struggles of the characters, particularly Eliza's grief and Sally's blunt advice. It adds depth to the character interactions and enhances the overall narrative.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the characters' emotional struggles, the harsh realities of slavery, and the complex dynamics of power and resilience.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension, emotional depth, and character development, enhancing the audience's engagement and investment in the story.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a historical drama, effectively conveying the setting, characters, and dialogue in a clear and engaging manner.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the progression of events and the development of the characters' relationships. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness in building tension and emotional depth.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the oppressive atmosphere of the Ford Plantation, showcasing the harsh realities of slave labor and the emotional toll on the characters, particularly Eliza. However, the transition between the different settings (from Sally's cabin to the woods and then to the mill) feels somewhat abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the narrative.
  • The dialogue, particularly Sally's instructions and the interactions among the slaves, captures the vernacular and the social dynamics of the time. However, some lines could be tightened for clarity and impact. For instance, Sally's dialogue could be more concise to maintain the scene's pacing.
  • Eliza's emotional state is poignantly depicted, but her character could benefit from more depth. While her grief is evident, providing a brief flashback or a more explicit connection to her children could heighten the audience's empathy and understanding of her despair.
  • The contrast between the children's laughter and Eliza's sorrow is powerful, but it could be emphasized further. Perhaps incorporating a moment where the children notice Eliza's sadness could create a more profound emotional resonance and highlight the innocence of childhood amidst the tragedy of slavery.
  • The scene's pacing is uneven, particularly in the transitions between labor and moments of emotional reflection. Balancing the rhythm of hard work with emotional beats could enhance the overall impact. For example, interspersing brief moments of dialogue or interaction during the labor scenes could maintain engagement while still conveying the grueling nature of their work.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection for Solomon as he observes the children playing, which could deepen his character and provide insight into his own lost family.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by including a moment where Eliza interacts with the children, perhaps attempting to engage with them despite her grief, which could illustrate her longing for her own children.
  • Tighten the dialogue to improve pacing. For example, Sally's lines could be more direct, emphasizing her role as a caretaker while also reflecting the harsh realities they face.
  • Incorporate a visual motif, such as the contrast between the children's innocence and Eliza's sorrow, to reinforce the emotional weight of the scene. This could be achieved through camera angles or specific actions that highlight this juxtaposition.
  • Consider using sound design to enhance the emotional atmosphere. The sounds of labor could be juxtaposed with the children's laughter and Eliza's weeping, creating a layered auditory experience that reflects the complexity of their situation.



Scene 25 - A Moment of Defiance
EXT. FORD'S MILL - DAY
The slaves have broken for lunch. They snack on smoked
meat and drink water from gourds. As they lunch Solomon
reads from Sam's Bible to the other slaves.
SOLOMON
But ye shall not be so: but he
that is greatest among you, let
him be as the younger; and he that
is chief, as he that doth serve.
For whether is greater, he that
sitteth at meat, or he that
serveth? Is not he that sitteth
at meat? But I am among you as he
that serveth.
A WHITE CUSTOMER, irate at the sight and sound of slaves
reading Scripture, crosses over. He grabs the Bible.
WHITE CUSTOMER
From where did you steal this?
SAM
Suh, the book is my property.
The White Customer has no interest in Sam's answer. With
flailing hands he STARTS BEATING ON SAM. Solomon tries
to stop him. That only makes the situation worse,
Solomon now the target of the man's ire.
WHITE CUSTOMER
Take your filthy hands from me!
Ford comes running over.
FORD
What is the commotion?
WHITE CUSTOMER
Your niggers are either brazen or
rebellious. This one was readin'
aloud. Scripture, no less. This
one claims it to be his.
FORD
It is. A gift from his Mistress.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 59.

WHITE CUSTOMER
You condone this?
FORD
I encourage it. As a Christian I
can do no less.
WHITE CUSTOMER
Any man who would allow his slaves
to have a Bible is not fit to own
a nigger. And any man who would
allow a slave to read is
dangerous.
The Customer huffs off. Handing the book back to Sam,
very matter of fact:
FORD
Pay him no mind. There will
always be men who don't understand
the nature of God, nor His
compassion. But the word of God
applies to all, whites and niggers
alike. In that you may take
comfort.

EXT. FORD PLANTATION - DAY
Eliza is being ridden off in a cart driven by Tibeats.
Watching her depart are Master and Mistress Ford, Rose,
Sally, Walton and Solomon.
Ford heads back into the house without a word. The
Mistress turns to the other slaves and states plainly:
MRS. FORD
It's for the best. She weeps
constantly, more occupied in
broodin' over her sorrows than in
attendin' to her business. I
cannot have that kind of
depression about. ...It's for the
best.

EXT. WOODS - DAY
Again, we see the gang of slaves working hard at cutting
down the wood.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary During a tense lunch break at Ford's Mill, Solomon reads from the Bible to fellow slaves, but their moment of solace is shattered when a white customer confronts Sam, accusing him of stealing the scripture. A physical altercation ensues, with Solomon attempting to defend Sam but becoming a target himself. Ford intervenes, asserting the slaves' right to read and emphasizing the Bible's significance. The customer leaves in anger, while Ford reassures the slaves of God's compassion. The scene concludes with Eliza being taken away in a cart, highlighting the emotional toll of slavery and leaving the remaining slaves in sorrow.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character resilience
  • Tension in conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development in this specific scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and emotional depth of the characters, particularly through the conflict between the slaves' faith and the white customer's ignorance. The defiance shown by Solomon in reading Scripture adds layers to the characters and the overall narrative, making it a compelling and impactful moment in the story.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the slaves' resilience and faith in the midst of oppression is well-executed in this scene. The contrast between the slaves' beliefs and the ignorance of the white customer adds depth to the narrative and explores themes of power, compassion, and defiance.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the conflict between the slaves' faith and the ignorance of the white customer, leading to a tense and emotional confrontation. This conflict drives the character dynamics and adds layers to the overall narrative, making it a significant moment in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the complexities of slavery, highlighting the moral ambiguity of the characters and the resilience of the slaves. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds depth and realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, particularly Solomon and the white customer, are well-developed and showcase different facets of resilience, ignorance, and defiance. Their interactions and reactions add depth to the scene and contribute to the emotional impact of the narrative.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, the defiance shown by Solomon and the reactions of the other characters hint at potential growth and development in their arcs. The scene sets the stage for future character evolution and challenges.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his dignity and sense of self-worth in the face of dehumanizing treatment. His recitation of Scripture and attempt to stop the violence against Sam reflect his deeper need for spiritual and moral strength in a degrading environment.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to protect his fellow slave, Sam, from physical harm and to navigate the dangerous dynamics between the white customers and the slaves. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining safety and order in a volatile situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is palpable, stemming from the clash between the slaves' faith and the white customer's ignorance. This conflict drives the character interactions and emotional depth of the scene, creating a tense and impactful moment in the story.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values, power dynamics, and moral dilemmas creating obstacles for the protagonist. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding suspense and complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters navigate the risks of expressing their faith and defiance in a hostile environment. The potential consequences of their actions add tension and emotional depth to the narrative, raising the stakes for the characters involved.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the resilience and defiance of the slaves, setting up future conflicts and character dynamics. The tension and emotional depth of the scene contribute to the overall narrative progression, making it a significant moment in the story.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turn of events, the shifting power dynamics, and the moral ambiguity of the characters. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the white customer's belief in the superiority of whites over blacks and Ford's belief in the equality of all under God. This challenges Solomon's beliefs in the inherent worth and dignity of all individuals, regardless of race.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting feelings of sadness, resilience, and defiance from the audience. The tension, heartbreak, and defiance portrayed by the characters resonate strongly, making it a memorable and impactful moment in the narrative.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the tension and emotional depth of the characters, especially in the interactions between Solomon, the white customer, and Ford. The dialogue enhances the conflict and themes of the scene, adding layers to the character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense conflict, moral dilemmas, and emotional depth. The characters' actions and dialogue draw the audience into the harsh realities of slavery and the complexities of human nature.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and emotional impact. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the tension and emotional impact of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension between the oppressive societal norms of the time and the small acts of resistance by the enslaved characters, particularly through Solomon's reading of the Bible. However, the dialogue could be more nuanced to reflect the emotional weight of the moment. The contrast between the white customer's aggression and Ford's defense of the slaves' right to read is clear, but the emotional stakes could be heightened by exploring Solomon's internal conflict more deeply during this confrontation.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transition from the lunch break to the confrontation with the white customer. The emotional impact of Eliza's departure could be better integrated into this scene, as it feels somewhat disconnected from the earlier conflict. The audience may benefit from a moment of reflection from Solomon or the other slaves after the customer leaves, allowing them to process the events that just unfolded.
  • The use of the Bible as a symbol of both hope and oppression is powerful, but the scene could benefit from more visual storytelling. For instance, showing the physical reactions of the other slaves during the confrontation could enhance the emotional weight. Additionally, the description of the setting could be expanded to reflect the oppressive atmosphere, perhaps by including sensory details that evoke the heat, the sounds of the mill, or the tension in the air.
  • The dialogue, while functional, lacks a certain depth that could make the characters more relatable and their struggles more poignant. For example, Solomon's response to the white customer could include a personal reflection on the significance of the Bible to him, rather than just a defense of its ownership. This would help to humanize him further and create a stronger emotional connection with the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of silence or reflection after the white customer leaves, allowing the characters to process the confrontation and its implications. This could deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Enhance the dialogue to include more personal stakes for Solomon and the other slaves. For example, Solomon could express what the Bible means to him personally, making the confrontation more than just a defense of property.
  • Incorporate more visual storytelling elements to convey the emotional atmosphere. Describe the physical reactions of the other slaves during the confrontation, such as their expressions or body language, to enhance the tension.
  • Expand on the setting details to create a more immersive experience. Use sensory descriptions to evoke the heat, sounds, and oppressive atmosphere of the mill, which would help to ground the audience in the scene.



Scene 26 - A Moment of Hope
EXT. ROAD - DAY
Walton is at the reigns of the wagon carrying the timber
to Ford's mill. Slaves trudge alongside, same as it ever
was. Only...it's not quite the same. Walton brings the
wagon to a halt. He, and the slaves look up the road
ahead of them.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 60.

Standing in the middle of the road is a group of
CHICKASAWS INDIANS. They are in their "usual" dress of
buckskin breeches and calico hunting shirts of fantastic
colors, buttoned from belt to chin. They have with them
DOGS and HORSES. They carry with them the carcass of a
deer.
The two groups stare at each other for a long moment.

EXT. FIELD - LATER
The groups of slaves and Chickasaws are now intermingled.
They "break bread" - actually they work on the carcass of
the deer which is now roasting over a large fire. As
well the group share a smoke on a pipe.
One of the Chickasaws is playing a tune on an "INDIAN
FIDDLE." The Chickasaws perform a customary dance;
trotting after each other, and giving utterance to a
guttural, sing-song noise.
The slaves enjoy the respite from work, Solomon
particularly taken by the music...if not entirely
enthralled by it.
After a bit, Solomon rights himself and heads from the
group.

EXT. RIVER BANK - CONTINUOUS
Solomon arrives to some tall grass at the edge of the
river. Lowering his trousers, SOLOMON SQUATS TO
DEFECATE. As he does, he stares out toward the flowing
waters of Indian Creek. After a few moments, as though a
thought far greater than relieving himself has come to
him, Solomon stands and replaces his pants. He goes out
to the water. Taking a reed he throws it into the creek
and watches it float upstream.
Then, as though he were a man possessed, Solomon wades
out into the water. Stands in the heart of it as it
flows around him.

EXT. FORD'S MILL - DAY
Just beyond the mill Solomon speaks with Ford as Taydem
listens. Solomon is drawing in the dirt, making rough
diagrams for Ford as he explains himself.
SOLOMON
The creek is plenty deep enough to
sail, even with a boat full of
load. The distance from the mill
to the point on the latter bayou
is several miles by water fewer
than land. It occurs to me that
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 61.
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
the expense of the transportation
would be materially diminished--
TAYDEM
"Materially diminished?"
SOLOMON
If we use the waterway.
TAYDEM
It's a scheme, Ford. Visionary,
but a scheme. Plenty of engineers
have schemed similarly. The
passes are too narrow.
SOLOMON
I reckon them at more than twelve
feet at their most narrow. Wide
enough for a tub to traverse.
Appears narrower to the eye;
mostly obstructed by tree trunks.
A team of niggers can clear it
out.
TAYDEM
And you know what of transport and
terra formin'?
SOLOMON
I labored repairing the Champlain
canal, on the section over which
William Van Nortwick was
superintendent. With my earnings
I hired several efficient hands to
assist me, and I entered into
contracts for the transportation
of large rafts of timber from Lake
Champlain to Troy. During the
season I became perfectly familiar
with the art and mysteries of
rafting.
FORD
(drily witty)
Pity his qualifications exceed the
work at hand... But I supposes
it's worthy of a try.
TAYDEM
A waste of effort.
FORD
It's Platt's effort to waste.
(to Solomon)
Get a team. Let's see what you
can do.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 62.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a historical setting, Walton drives a wagon with slaves alongside, encountering Chickasaw Indians. The two groups share food and dance, offering a brief respite for the slaves. Inspired, Solomon steps away to reflect by the river and later proposes a transportation scheme to Ford at the mill, drawing on his past experience. While Taydem expresses skepticism, Ford shows interest and ultimately decides to give Solomon a chance to implement his plan, signaling a potential shift in Solomon's circumstances.
Strengths
  • Unique cultural exchange
  • Innovative transportation idea
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant conflict
  • Limited emotional impact

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively combines elements of cultural exchange, innovation, and character development, providing a reflective and hopeful tone that adds depth to the story.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of cultural exchange, innovation, and character development is well-executed in the scene, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced through the introduction of Solomon's transportation idea and the interaction with the Chickasaw Indians, setting the stage for potential future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a unique cultural interaction between slaves and Chickasaw Indians, explores themes of freedom and innovation, and presents a fresh perspective on historical events. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters, particularly Solomon, are developed through their interactions and actions in the scene, showcasing their resilience, intelligence, and adaptability.

Character Changes: 7

Solomon's character shows growth and adaptability through his presentation of the transportation idea and interaction with the Chickasaw Indians.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to find a moment of peace and reflection amidst his challenging circumstances. His actions reflect his desire for freedom and a connection to nature.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to propose a plan for transportation using the waterway to Ford. This reflects his immediate challenge of finding a way to improve the efficiency of the transportation process at the mill.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The scene lacks significant conflict, focusing more on character development and innovation.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to challenge the protagonist's ideas and plans, creating uncertainty and conflict.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderate in the scene, focusing more on innovation and character development.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a potential solution to transportation challenges and showcasing cultural exchange.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it introduces unexpected interactions between characters and presents a new challenge for the protagonist.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Ford's skepticism and Solomon's optimism. Ford represents practicality and caution, while Solomon embodies innovation and determination. This challenges Solomon's beliefs in his own abilities and ideas.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a mixed emotional response, combining moments of reflection, hope, and cultural exchange.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the cultural exchange and Solomon's innovative idea, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it introduces a new cultural element, develops character relationships, and sets up a conflict that drives the narrative forward.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a balance of action and dialogue that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a historical drama screenplay, with proper scene headings, action lines, and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format with clear transitions between locations and well-paced dialogue. It effectively builds tension and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively contrasts the harsh realities of slavery with a moment of cultural exchange and respite, showcasing the Chickasaw Indians and their customs. This juxtaposition adds depth to the narrative, highlighting the shared humanity amidst oppression.
  • The dialogue between Solomon and Ford is informative, providing insight into Solomon's background and qualifications. However, it could benefit from more emotional weight. Solomon's passion for his proposal could be emphasized through more personal stakes or a sense of urgency, making the audience more invested in his success.
  • The transition from the interaction with the Chickasaw Indians to Solomon's proposal to Ford feels abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the scene, perhaps by showing Solomon's reflections on the encounter with the Indians as he formulates his plan.
  • The depiction of Solomon squatting to defecate is a stark reminder of his dehumanization, but it could be framed more symbolically. Instead of merely showing this act, consider using it as a moment of introspection where Solomon contemplates his situation, perhaps reflecting on his lost freedom or the weight of his current existence.
  • The dialogue with Taydem could be more dynamic. Taydem's skepticism is clear, but adding a layer of conflict or tension in their exchange could heighten the stakes. Perhaps Taydem could challenge Solomon's qualifications more aggressively, forcing Solomon to defend himself more passionately.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of internal monologue for Solomon after the encounter with the Chickasaw Indians to deepen his character and reflect on the significance of the cultural exchange.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes in Solomon's proposal to Ford by incorporating a sense of desperation or hope, perhaps by referencing his family or his longing for freedom.
  • Smooth the transition between the two parts of the scene by including a moment where Solomon reflects on the Chickasaw encounter as he formulates his plan, linking the two experiences thematically.
  • Reframe the moment of Solomon squatting to defecate as a more symbolic act of reflection, perhaps showing him contemplating his lost freedom or the weight of his current existence.
  • Introduce more tension in the dialogue with Taydem by having him challenge Solomon's qualifications more aggressively, prompting a more passionate defense from Solomon.



Scene 27 - A Bittersweet Achievement
EXT. CREEK - DAY
WE HAVE A SERIES OF SCENES in which we see Solomon and a
TEAM OF BLACKS working on the creek: CHOPPING TREES
ALONG THE BANKS, widening out the shore... It's all just
a trial for now. The work is diligent, but it is basic
to this point. Still, under Solomon's direction, the
slaves go at it like they've got something to prove. And
rightly they do.
Solomon also works on a narrow raft of twelve cribs with
which he will transport the timber.
Once this is constructed, HE PERSONALLY "SAILS" THEM UP
THE CREEK WITH A TEST LOAD.

EXT. FORD'S MILL - LATER
Ford and a group of slaves wait along the river banks
just beyond the mill. All are expectant in their manner.
A long moment passes with no sign of Solomon.
Then, from up river, we see Solomon's raft of lumber
winding its way. SLAVES CHEER, and Ford literally
applauds the effort. Taydem looks pissed. He has just
been shown up after all. TIBEATS IS THERE AS WELL. HE
SHARES TAYDEM'S BITTERNESS.

INT. FORD PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE - DAY
As we come into the scene, Ford is presenting Solomon
with a fiddle. Not as grand as the one he previously
owned in New York, but a fine instrument none the less.
It is a gift of thanks for his hard work. Solomon's
gratitude is easily expressed.
SOLOMON
My great thanks, Master Ford.
FORD
My thanks to you, and it is the
least of it. My hope is that it
brings us both much joy over the
years.
Following the statement, Solomon's not sure how to react.
He remains grateful, but the thought of "over the years"
is just a reminder of the altered state in which he now
finds himself.

EXT. FORD PLANTATION - DAY
It's Sunday. The slaves are again gathered to hear the
word of the Lord as read by Master Ford.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 63.

FORD
At the same time came the
disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who
is the greatest in the kingdom of
heaven? And Jesus called a little
child unto him, and set him in the
midst of them, And said, Verily I
say unto you, Except ye be
converted, and become as little
children, ye shall not enter into
the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever
therefore shall humble himself as
this little child, the same is
greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
And whoso shall receive one such
little child in my name receiveth
me. But whoso shall offend one of
these little ones which believe in
me, it were better for him that a
millstone were hanged about his
neck, and that he were drowned in
the depth of the sea. Woe unto
the world because of offences!
For it must needs be that offences
come; but woe to that man by whom
the offence cometh!

BLACK
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In this scene, Solomon leads a group of enslaved Black workers in chopping trees and widening a creek, demonstrating their determination. He constructs a raft to transport timber, earning cheers from his peers and applause from Master Ford, who later gifts Solomon a fiddle as a token of gratitude. While Solomon appreciates the gift, he feels a mix of emotions reflecting on his enslavement. Meanwhile, Taydem and Tibeats harbor resentment towards Solomon's success. The scene concludes with a gathering of slaves as Ford reads from the Bible, emphasizing humility and the moral consequences of their plight.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Emotional depth
  • Resilience theme
  • Tension and conflict
Weaknesses
  • Limited dialogue
  • Focus on specific characters

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-designed with a clear purpose of showcasing Solomon's ingenuity and resilience, advancing the plot by demonstrating his ability to adapt to his circumstances. The execution is strong, particularly in conveying the emotional turmoil of the characters and the conflict between Ford and Taydem. The concept of using a raft to transport timber is unique and adds depth to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of Solomon's transportation scheme and his relationship with Ford are central to the scene, highlighting themes of resilience, ingenuity, and the complexities of slavery. The concept is executed with depth and nuance, adding layers to the characters and the plot.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene through Solomon's demonstration of his skills, the conflict between Ford and Taydem, and the emotional turmoil of Eliza's separation. The scene moves the story forward by showcasing key character dynamics and setting the stage for future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the dynamics of slavery, portraying the internal struggles of the characters with authenticity and depth. The dialogue feels genuine and impactful, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed in this scene, particularly Solomon and Ford, whose relationship evolves as Solomon proves his worth. Eliza's emotional journey adds depth to the narrative, while Taydem's bitterness provides a contrast to Ford's appreciation. The characters drive the scene forward with their interactions and conflicts.

Character Changes: 8

Solomon undergoes a significant change in this scene, from a position of uncertainty and doubt to one of confidence and resilience as he proves his worth to Ford. Eliza also experiences a profound emotional change through her separation from her children, deepening her character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to navigate his gratitude towards Master Ford while grappling with the reality of his altered state as a slave. It reflects his deeper need for freedom, dignity, and a sense of self.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to prove his worth and skills to Ford and the other slaves, showcasing his capabilities and resourcefulness in the face of challenges.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene has a high level of conflict, particularly between Ford and Taydem, as well as the emotional conflict of Eliza's separation from her children. The tension and dynamics between the characters drive the narrative forward and create engaging storytelling.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting interests and power dynamics at play. The uncertainty of the characters' reactions adds to the tension and drama.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high in this scene, particularly for Solomon as he demonstrates his skills to Ford and for Eliza as she faces the devastating consequences of slavery. The emotional and personal stakes are significant, adding tension and depth to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing key character dynamics, advancing Solomon's narrative arc, and setting up future conflicts and developments. The progression of beats and the resolution of conflicts contribute to the overall momentum of the plot.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the conflicting emotions and motivations of the characters, keeping the audience on edge about the outcomes of their interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the juxtaposition of Ford's religious teachings about humility and the reality of slavery, where the slaves are treated as property and denied basic human rights. This challenges Solomon's beliefs in justice, equality, and the hypocrisy of the system.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a significant emotional impact, especially in Eliza's heartbreaking separation from her children and Solomon's resilience in the face of adversity. The themes of loss, hope, and human connection evoke strong emotions in the audience, enhancing the overall storytelling.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters, especially in moments of tension and conflict. The interactions between Ford, Solomon, and Taydem are well-written, adding depth to their relationships and the overall narrative.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, character development, and thematic relevance. The tension between the characters and the moral dilemmas presented captivate the audience.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, balancing moments of tension, reflection, and action. It enhances the emotional impact and thematic resonance of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, making it easy to follow the action and dialogue. It aligns with the expected format for its genre, contributing to the overall readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a coherent structure that effectively conveys the progression of events and character dynamics. It adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing the narrative flow.


Critique
  • The scene effectively showcases Solomon's leadership and ingenuity, highlighting his determination to prove himself despite his circumstances. However, the transition between the physical labor and the emotional weight of Solomon's situation could be more pronounced. The contrast between the slaves' hard work and Solomon's internal struggle is present but could be deepened to enhance the emotional impact.
  • The dialogue between Solomon and Ford is functional but lacks depth. While it conveys gratitude, it doesn't fully explore the complexity of Solomon's feelings about receiving a gift in his current state of bondage. Adding a moment of reflection or hesitation from Solomon could enrich the scene, emphasizing the bittersweet nature of his situation.
  • The introduction of Taydem and Tibeats as antagonistic figures is effective, but their motivations and emotions could be more clearly articulated. Their bitterness at being overshadowed by Solomon could be shown through more dynamic interactions or dialogue, which would heighten the tension and conflict in the scene.
  • The biblical passage read by Ford at the end of the scene is thematically relevant, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the preceding events. A stronger connection between the scripture and the characters' experiences could enhance the scene's cohesion. Consider having the scripture reflect the struggles of the slaves more directly, perhaps by drawing parallels to their plight.
  • The pacing of the scene could be improved by varying the rhythm of the action and dialogue. The transition from the physical labor to the emotional exchange with Ford feels abrupt. Incorporating more visual storytelling or character reactions during the raft's launch could create a more engaging flow.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate a moment where Solomon reflects on the significance of the raft and what it represents for him personally, perhaps through a brief internal monologue or visual imagery that conveys his hopes and fears.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Solomon and Ford by adding layers of complexity, such as Solomon expressing his mixed feelings about the gift and the reality of his situation, which would deepen their relationship and the emotional stakes.
  • Develop Taydem and Tibeats' characters further by including a scene where they express their frustrations more openly, perhaps through a conversation that reveals their insecurities and motivations, making them more relatable antagonists.
  • Consider revising the biblical passage to include a direct reference to the suffering of the enslaved, making it resonate more with the characters' experiences and reinforcing the themes of the story.
  • Add more visual elements that capture the atmosphere of the creek and the labor being performed, such as close-ups of the slaves' expressions, the sounds of their work, and the natural surroundings, to create a more immersive experience for the audience.



Scene 28 - A Bitter Farewell
EXT. FORD PLANTATION - DAY
Seasons have passed. It is winter now, and very grey out
along the bayou. Ford and Tibeats - who we have seen
working around the mill - stand with Solomon, Tibeats
giving Solomon an inspection. Ford carries much lament.
FORD
He's a good carpenter and a smart
nigger.
TIBEATS
I'm familiar with his cleverness.
Turn around. Raise yer shirt.
Solomon does as instructed. Tibeats looks at Solomon's
back, at the scars from lashings he bears.
TIBEATS (CONT'D)
Troublesome.
FORD
Quite the opposite. Trustworthy
to the highest degree. A jack-of-
all trades. No chore too menial
nor skill too complicated. Plays
the fiddle as well.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 64.

TIBEATS
Look like he got airs.
FORD
You won't find a nigger more
humble.
TIBEATS
Ain't found a nigger yet I cain't
humble.
Tibeats heads off. Solomon, highly curious over the
preceding. WHEN FORD RESPONDS, IT IS WITH GREAT
HUMILIATION.
SOLOMON
Sir, did I do something wrong?
FORD
Not your concern, Platt. I say
with much...shame I have compiled
debts. I have long preached
austerity, but find myself
hypocritical in that regard.
You'll be in the ownership of Mr.
Tibeats. You are his now. But he
himself is in the employ of my
sister and her husband, their
plantation is across the Bayou
from my own. There is much
building to be done, and you'll be
of great use to them. Serve him
as you'd serve me.
SOLOMON
Yes, sir.
FORD
And your faithfulness will not be
forgotten. If I can ever be of
aid, you need but send word.
SOLOMON
Yes, sir.
FORD
Pride and want have been my sin.
Loss of you is but one of my
punishments.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a bleak winter setting at the Ford plantation, Ford and Tibeats evaluate Solomon's skills. Tibeats inspects Solomon's scarred back, while Ford defends Solomon's character and abilities. Despite Ford's efforts, Tibeats remains skeptical and ultimately takes ownership of Solomon due to Ford's financial troubles. Ford expresses deep regret over losing Solomon, promising to remember his loyalty and offering help, highlighting the somber realities of slavery and the power dynamics at play.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Poignant dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Limited action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of the ownership transfer, showcasing Ford's inner turmoil and Solomon's acceptance of his new master. The dialogue and character interactions are poignant and impactful.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on the transfer of ownership and the emotional impact on the characters, is well-developed and effectively portrayed. It adds depth to the narrative and enhances the audience's understanding of the characters' experiences.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around the transfer of ownership and the emotional turmoil it brings, advancing the overall narrative while delving into the complexities of the characters' relationships. It adds depth to the story and sets up future conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the depiction of slavery and racism, highlighting the internal struggles and moral dilemmas faced by the characters. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Ford and Solomon, are well-developed and their emotions are portrayed convincingly. The interactions between the characters drive the scene forward and add layers to their personalities.

Character Changes: 8

The scene showcases a significant change in Solomon's circumstances as he transitions to a new master, highlighting his resilience and adaptability. Ford also experiences a change in his perception of himself and his actions.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to understand his situation and navigate the challenges of being sold to a new owner. This reflects his deeper need for survival and maintaining his sense of self-worth in the face of dehumanizing circumstances.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to adapt to his new owner and environment, serving them as instructed by Ford. This reflects the immediate challenge of adjusting to a new life and maintaining his survival.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on Ford's regret and shame over his financial situation, as well as Solomon's acceptance of his new master. It sets up future conflicts and character development.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the power dynamics and moral conflicts creating obstacles for the characters to overcome.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderately high in the scene, as the transfer of ownership has significant implications for Solomon and Ford. It sets the stage for future conflicts and challenges for the characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by setting up new dynamics between the characters and introducing future conflicts. It adds depth to the narrative and advances the overall plot.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and moral conflicts that keep the audience guessing about the characters' motivations and actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the dehumanization of black individuals by white slave owners. This challenges Solomon's beliefs in his own worth and humanity, as well as the moral values of the white characters.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting feelings of sadness, shame, and resignation from the audience. The characters' struggles and the weight of the ownership transfer resonate strongly with viewers.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is poignant and impactful, effectively conveying the emotions and conflicts of the characters. It adds depth to the interactions and enhances the audience's connection to the story.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth of the characters, the tension in the power dynamics, and the moral dilemmas presented.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, contributing to its overall effectiveness in conveying the characters' struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively setting up the conflict and character dynamics for future development.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of Solomon's situation through the dialogue between Ford and Tibeats, highlighting the power dynamics at play. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the tension between the characters, particularly in Tibeats' interactions with Solomon. His dismissive attitude could be more pronounced to emphasize the threat he poses.
  • Ford's lamentation about his debts and the loss of Solomon feels genuine, but it could be enhanced by showing more of his internal conflict. Instead of merely stating his shame, Ford could express it through more nuanced actions or facial expressions, allowing the audience to feel his regret more profoundly.
  • The use of the term 'nigger' by both characters is historically accurate but can be jarring for modern audiences. While it serves to illustrate the dehumanizing language of the time, consider how it might affect the viewer's emotional connection to the characters. Balancing authenticity with sensitivity is crucial.
  • The transition from Tibeats' inspection to Ford's explanation of Solomon's new ownership could be smoother. The abrupt shift in focus may leave the audience feeling disoriented. A brief moment of silence or a visual cue could help bridge this transition.
  • The scene's pacing is somewhat uneven. The dialogue is rich, but the emotional stakes could be heightened by incorporating more physical actions or reactions from Solomon. For instance, showing his body language during the inspection could convey his anxiety and fear about being sold.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Solomon reacts physically to Tibeats' inspection, such as flinching or tensing up, to visually communicate his discomfort and fear.
  • Enhance Ford's character by including a brief flash of anger or frustration when Tibeats makes derogatory comments, showcasing his internal struggle between his beliefs and the societal norms he is forced to navigate.
  • Introduce a moment of silence after Tibeats leaves, allowing the weight of the situation to settle in for both Solomon and Ford, which could amplify the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Explore the use of visual metaphors or imagery that reflects Solomon's internal state, such as the bleak winter landscape mirroring his despair and loss of agency.
  • Consider revising the dialogue to include more indirect expressions of Ford's regret, perhaps through a story or anecdote that illustrates his moral conflict, rather than just stating it outright.



Scene 29 - Despair at the Tanner Plantation
EXT. ROAD - DAY
In a wagon driven by Tibeats, Solomon rides along with
Sam and Harry. They travel up Bayou Boeuf.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 65.

EXT. TANNER PLANATION - LATER
The Solomon arrives on wagon with Tibeats to the Tanner
Plantation. As the wagon comes to a stop, Tibeats orders
the slaves:
TIBEATS
Gather up your wares, but don't
wander about until I make space
for you.
Tibeats retreats to do just that. He converses with
CHAPIN who is the overseer on the plantation.
As he waits, Solomon sees a figure in the near distances
pulling up dead plants from the yard. The person is just
far enough away Solomon can't clearly make out who it is.
Recognition gradually comes to him. He yells to the
person.
SOLOMON
Eliza...
The figure looks up. It is Eliza. She makes the LONG
TRAVEL over to Solomon, moving slowly at a somnambulistic
pace. As she nears, Solomon can see that Eliza looks
weary and gaunt. She has grown feeble and emaciated, and
is still in mourning for her children. There is no
awareness in her eyes.
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
It's Platt. It's Platt, Eliza.
A moment before Eliza, her faculties clearly slipping,
recognizes Solomon. A bit, just a bit, of life and light
return to her.
ELIZA
Platt...? You knew my babies.
SOLOMON
I did.
ELIZA
Do you recollect how handsome
little Emily was? And Randall...
Do you recall how he loved me more
than anything?
SOLOMON
He did.
ELIZA
I wonder if they are still living.
I think they are still alive. A
child would perish without their
mother, a lesser child. But mine
are too hearty. Would you say so?
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 66.

SOLOMON
...I would...
ELIZA
You've seen what strong
constitutions they have.
SOLOMON
As vital and healthy as any
children I've ever seen. They
endure, and they would want the
same of their mother. They would
want her to--
ELIZA
Where are they? You say they
endure, you say that they--
SOLOMON
Eliza--
ELIZA
Then where are my children?
Having returned, Tibeats calls to Solomon. His
displeasure in having to do such obvious in his tone:
TIBEATS
Platt!
SOLOMON
I must go.
Solomon turns to head away. Eliza grabs him by the arm,
and holds him fast as she becomes a bit crazed.
ELIZA
You know where they are. Where?
SOLOMON
Eliza, unhand me.
TIBEATS
Damn it, Platt!
Tibeats moves toward Solomon and Eliza. His fist is
curled to do work.
ELIZA
You know, tell me. Tell me where
they are!
Arriving to the pair, Tibeats wastes no time in throwing
a quick but severe beating on Eliza. Done with that, he
strikes Solomon hard across the face. Chapin intervenes.
CHAPIN
Tibeats. Enough. Your meaning is
clear.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 67.

TIBEATS
Sweat, or stripes, nigger. You
will bear sweat or you will wear
stripes.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Solomon, Sam, and Harry arrive at the Tanner Plantation, where Solomon encounters Eliza, a weary slave longing for her children. Their brief moment of connection is shattered by Tibeats, who violently asserts his authority by beating Eliza and Solomon. Despite Chapin's attempt to intervene, Tibeats's brutality leaves a lingering sense of despair and unresolved tension.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Powerful performances
  • Compelling character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Violence and cruelty depicted may be distressing for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is powerful and emotionally charged, effectively conveying the pain and despair of Eliza's situation. The dialogue and actions of the characters evoke a strong emotional response from the audience.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the emotional toll of slavery on families is poignant and well-executed in this scene. The focus on Eliza's grief and desperation adds depth to the narrative.

Plot: 8.8

The plot of the scene revolves around Eliza's search for her children and the emotional turmoil she experiences. It effectively advances the overarching narrative of the impact of slavery on individuals and families.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the horrors of slavery, delving into the psychological and emotional toll on both enslaved individuals and their oppressors. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters of Eliza, Solomon, and Tibeats are well-developed and their interactions drive the emotional core of the scene. Eliza's despair, Solomon's empathy, and Tibeats' cruelty create a compelling dynamic.

Character Changes: 9

Eliza undergoes a significant emotional change in the scene, transitioning from despair to a brief moment of hope and then back to despair. Solomon also shows empathy and a sense of helplessness in the face of Eliza's pain.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to maintain his composure and protect his identity while facing the emotional turmoil of encountering Eliza and being reminded of his past life.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to survive and navigate the dangerous and volatile environment of the plantation without drawing unwanted attention or punishment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Eliza's desperate search for her children and Tibeats' cruelty creates a high level of emotional and narrative tension in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations driving the characters' actions and creating obstacles that challenge their beliefs and values.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as Eliza desperately seeks information about her lost children, facing cruelty and indifference in her search. The emotional and personal stakes are deeply impactful.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the emotional stakes and highlighting the personal struggles of the characters within the larger narrative of slavery and survival.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden escalation of violence and the shifting power dynamics between the characters, creating a sense of tension and uncertainty.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the clash between the dehumanizing beliefs of the slave owners and the humanity and dignity of the enslaved individuals. This challenges Solomon's beliefs in justice, compassion, and the inherent worth of all individuals.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a profound emotional impact on the audience, eliciting feelings of sadness, empathy, and despair through the powerful performances and heartbreaking storyline.

Dialogue: 8.7

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and motivations of the characters, particularly Eliza's desperation and Solomon's attempts to comfort her. Tibeats' harsh words add to the tension.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional drama, complex character dynamics, and high stakes conflict that keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict and emotional intensity that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' fates.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for a dramatic screenplay, with clear scene headings, dialogue, and action descriptions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and develops the conflict between the characters, following a logical progression that heightens the emotional stakes.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of Solomon's reunion with Eliza, showcasing the deep bond they share through their shared suffering. However, the pacing feels rushed, particularly in the dialogue exchanges. The emotional impact could be heightened by allowing more pauses and reactions between lines, giving the audience time to absorb the gravity of their situation.
  • The dialogue is poignant, but it could benefit from more subtext. For instance, Eliza's frantic questioning about her children could be interspersed with moments of silence or physical reactions that convey her desperation without needing to articulate it all verbally. This would enhance the emotional resonance of the scene.
  • Tibeats' entrance and subsequent violence feel somewhat abrupt. While it is important to show the brutality of the situation, the transition from the tender moment between Solomon and Eliza to Tibeats' aggression could be smoother. Consider building tension gradually, perhaps by showing Tibeats' approach before he interrupts their conversation, which would create a more palpable sense of dread.
  • The visual elements are strong, particularly the description of Eliza's physical state. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience further. For example, describing the sounds of the plantation, the weather, or the atmosphere could enhance the setting and reflect the emotional turmoil of the characters.
  • The stakes in this scene are high, but they could be made clearer. While Tibeats' threat is evident, the audience might benefit from a clearer understanding of the consequences of Solomon's actions. What does he risk by speaking to Eliza? Making these stakes more explicit could heighten the tension and urgency of the scene.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more pauses in the dialogue to allow the emotional weight of the conversation to resonate with the audience. This can be achieved by inserting beats or actions between lines.
  • Incorporate more physical reactions and body language to convey the characters' emotions. For example, Eliza could show signs of distress or desperation through her actions, enhancing the impact of her words.
  • Introduce Tibeats earlier in the scene, perhaps through sound or a visual cue, to build tension before he interrupts Solomon and Eliza. This would create a more seamless transition from a moment of connection to one of violence.
  • Enhance the sensory details in the scene to create a more immersive experience. Describe the sounds, smells, and sights of the plantation to reflect the emotional state of the characters and the oppressive atmosphere.
  • Clarify the stakes for Solomon in this scene. Consider adding a line or two that hints at the potential consequences of his interaction with Eliza, which would heighten the tension and urgency of the moment.



Scene 30 - Confrontation and Caution
INT. TANNER PLANATION/SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT
Solomon talks with another of Tanner's slaves, LAWSON,
and his wife BRISTOL. They dine on bacon and corn cake.
Eliza, all the while and same as always, is continually
and gently weeping.
Bristol warns Solomon regarding Tibeats.
BRISTOL
Tibeats has got a streak to him.
Cain't say where it come from;.
Drinks no mo' than most, take to
da Bible... That don't matter
none to his disposition, and he
don't give no warnin' for his
moods neither.
LAWSON
Say this; massa hate a nigger that
think for hisself. Do as told -
yes, suh. No, suh - you'll do
fine.
BRISTOL
But you show a spark of reasonin'
behind yo eyes...steel yourself
for a lashin'.
SOLOMON
Ford wouldn't stand for him to
give me such a beating.
BRISTOL
Not Massa Ford's no more. Yo time
with him is o'er and done. And
the Tanner's hain't never about.
Put it out your head. Learn
yourself ta be a proper nigger.

BLACK

EXT. TANNER PLANATION - DAY
We see Solomon working as a carpenter. He is working to
help erect a Weaving House that stands off to the side of
the plantation's Great House.
At the moment Solomon is nailing on siding. Tibeats
comes around and is immediately dissatisfied with this
work.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 68.

TIBEATS
Make them boards flush.
SOLOMON
They are, sir.
TIBEATS
They is no such thing.
Solomon runs his hands over the boards.
SOLOMON
As smooth to the touch as a
yearling's coat.
TIBEATS
Callin' me a liar, boy?
Not caring for Solomon's tone, Epps's about ready to
physically correct him. But Solomon verbally dodges.
SOLOMON
Only a matter of perspective, sir.
From where you stand you may see
differently. But the hands are
not mistaken. I ask only that you
employ all your senses before
rendering judgement.
What's Tibeats to do when faced with fact? All he can do
is spew invectives.
TIBEATS
You are a brute. You are a dog,
and no better for followin'
instruction.
SOLOMON
I'll do as ordered, sir.
TIBEATS
Then you'll be up at daybreak.
You will procure a keg of nails
from Chapin and commence puttin'
on clapboards.
Tibeats wheels away.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In this tense scene, Solomon shares a meal with fellow slaves Lawson and Bristol, who warn him about the volatile nature of their overseer, Tibeats. Despite Solomon's belief that he is protected by Ford, Bristol reveals that Ford is no longer in charge, urging Solomon to adapt to the harsh realities of their situation. The scene shifts to Solomon working as a carpenter, where Tibeats confronts him about his craftsmanship, displaying aggression and disrespect. Solomon attempts to defend his work, but Tibeats's authority remains unchallenged as he orders Solomon to fetch nails and continue laboring, highlighting the oppressive environment they endure.
Strengths
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Limited character development for secondary characters
  • Lack of resolution in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and cruelty present in the slave system, setting a somber tone while also hinting at potential defiance from the enslaved individuals. The dialogue and interactions are impactful, drawing the audience into the harsh world of the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the brutality of authority within the slave system is effectively realized in this scene. It delves into the power dynamics and the emotional toll of being under the control of a cruel overseer, adding layers to the overall narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in this scene focuses on the escalating tension between Solomon and Tibeats, setting the stage for future conflicts and character development. It moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges faced by the enslaved individuals.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the dynamics of slavery, with nuanced character interactions and authentic dialogue that bring depth to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in this scene, particularly Solomon and Tibeats, are well-defined and their interactions reveal their personalities and motivations. The contrast between Solomon's resilience and Tibeats' cruelty adds depth to the character dynamics.

Character Changes: 8

Solomon's resilience and defiance in the face of Tibeats' cruelty showcase a subtle but significant character change, hinting at his inner strength and determination to survive. The scene sets the stage for further development of Solomon's character.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to maintain his sense of self-worth and dignity in the face of dehumanizing treatment and threats of violence. It reflects his deeper need for autonomy and respect.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to survive and navigate the dangerous and unpredictable environment of the plantation. It reflects the immediate challenge of avoiding punishment and harm.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Solomon and Tibeats drives the tension in the scene, showcasing the power struggle and the emotional toll of being under the control of a cruel overseer. It adds depth to the character dynamics and sets the stage for future conflicts.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Tibeats posing a significant threat to Solomon's safety and dignity, creating suspense and uncertainty for the audience.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes in the scene are evident through the power dynamics between Solomon and Tibeats, highlighting the consequences of defiance and the harsh reality of being under the control of a cruel overseer. The emotional impact is heightened by the high stakes involved.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing the dynamics between Solomon and Tibeats, setting the stage for future conflicts and character development. It adds depth to the narrative and hints at the challenges faced by the enslaved individuals.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics, unexpected character choices, and unresolved conflicts that create tension and suspense.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between the dehumanizing beliefs and actions of the slave owners and the slaves' desire for dignity and autonomy. It challenges Solomon's beliefs in his own worth and humanity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, highlighting the sadness and resignation of the enslaved individuals in the face of oppression. The defiance shown by Solomon adds a layer of hope and resilience amidst the harsh reality of slavery.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the power dynamics and emotional turmoil of the characters. It adds depth to the interactions and enhances the tension, making the audience emotionally invested in the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional stakes, dynamic character interactions, and suspenseful conflict that keeps the audience invested in Solomon's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and reflection, allowing the audience to absorb the emotional impact of the characters' interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions that enhance readability.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution that advance the plot and character development.


Critique
  • The dialogue effectively conveys the oppressive atmosphere of the plantation and the characters' understanding of their precarious situation. However, the use of dialect can be inconsistent, which may distract some readers. Ensuring a consistent voice for each character can enhance authenticity without sacrificing readability.
  • The scene transitions from a tense conversation about Tibeats to Solomon's work as a carpenter, but the shift could be smoother. The abrupt change in setting and tone may confuse readers. Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or a visual cue that connects the two parts of the scene.
  • The emotional weight of Eliza's weeping is powerful, but it could be more explicitly tied to the dialogue. While her sorrow is evident, integrating her emotional state into the conversation could deepen the impact. For example, having her interject with her feelings about Tibeats or her children could create a more cohesive emotional thread.
  • Solomon's defiance against Tibeats is commendable, but the stakes could be raised further. Tibeats's threats feel somewhat generic. Adding specific consequences or a history of Tibeats's violence could heighten the tension and make Solomon's resistance more impactful.
  • The scene ends with Tibeats giving Solomon orders, which feels somewhat anticlimactic after the buildup of tension. Consider ending on a more dramatic note, perhaps with a moment of defiance from Solomon or a chilling threat from Tibeats that leaves readers anxious about what will happen next.
Suggestions
  • Refine the dialect to ensure consistency across characters while maintaining authenticity. This will help readers engage more fully with the dialogue.
  • Add a transitional line or visual cue to bridge the conversation about Tibeats and Solomon's work, enhancing the flow of the scene.
  • Incorporate Eliza's emotional state more directly into the dialogue, allowing her to express her fears or memories related to Tibeats, which would deepen the emotional resonance.
  • Heighten the stakes by providing a backstory for Tibeats's cruelty, perhaps through a brief flashback or a line of dialogue that hints at his past actions, making his threats feel more immediate.
  • Consider ending the scene with a more dramatic moment, such as Solomon's internal resolve to resist Tibeats or a chilling warning from Tibeats that foreshadows future conflict.



Scene 31 - Silent Grief
EXT. TANNER PLANATION/SLAVE SHACK - EVENING
The slaves eat. All tired from a days work they conduct
themselves in silence. All except for Eliza who as
always weeps. The sound of her sobbing edging him up,
Solomon finally snaps:
SOLOMON
Eliza. Eliza, stop!
He goes to her, grabs her.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 69.

SOLOMON (CONT'D)
Stop your wailing. Your sorrow
will be the end of you.
She does not stop. As if to force the misery from her,
Solomon strikes Eliza twice.
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
Stop it! Stop!
Eliza does stop crying. But only just long enough to
enquire:
ELIZA
Have you stopped crying for your
children? You make no outward
sounds, but inside you; do you
still weep and wail? Before you
drift at night, do you not wonder
where they are and if they
prosper...Solomon? If you do not,
then you assuredly have been
reduced to the nigger they are
desirous of...Solomon.
This truth - AND THE USE OF HIS TRUE NAME BY PATSEY -
strikes Solomon very directly. They may mourn
differently, but he has not let go of his children.

EXT. TANNER PLANATION - DAYBREAK
It is early, early morning. The sun just barely making
its way over the horizon. Solomon is waiting on the
piazza for Chapin to arrive. He does, and in good
spirits.
CHAPIN
Platt...? Good early morning.
Solomon removes his hat as he addresses Chapin.
SOLOMON
Sir, Master Tibeats had directed
me to call upon you for a keg of
nails.

EXT. STORE HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Chapin is rolling out a a keg of nails for Solomon.
CHAPIN
If Tibeats prefers a different
size, I will endeavor to furnish
them, but you may use those until
further directed.
Chapin mounts a nearby horse. As he rides off into the
field where slaves are already at work:
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 70.

CHAPIN (CONT'D)
Good morning to you, Platt.
Left alone, Solomon shoulders the keg and begins to carry
it off.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a somber scene at the Tanner Plantation, slaves eat in silence after a long day, except for Eliza, who weeps for her lost children. Solomon confronts her sorrow, attempting to silence her but is challenged by her poignant questions about his own grief. This exchange reveals Solomon's deep pain and connection to his children. The scene shifts to the next morning, where Solomon waits for Chapin to deliver a keg of nails, symbolizing his burdens as he prepares for another day of toil.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Powerful performances
  • Compelling theme of resilience
Weaknesses
  • Intense emotional content may be difficult for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional depth and turmoil of the characters, drawing the audience into their world and evoking strong feelings of sadness and empathy.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the emotional turmoil of the enslaved individuals in the face of adversity is compelling and well-executed in the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on the emotional journey of the characters, particularly Eliza and Solomon, as they navigate their difficult circumstances.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the emotional complexities of slavery, with authentic dialogue and actions that feel true to the characters' experiences.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Eliza and Solomon, are well-developed and their emotional depth is effectively portrayed. The audience can empathize with their struggles and connect with their experiences.

Character Changes: 8

The scene showcases the emotional growth and internal struggles of the characters, particularly Eliza and Solomon, as they confront their circumstances and grapple with their emotions.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to come to terms with his past and the loss of his children. This reflects his deeper need for closure and emotional healing.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to fulfill his duties as a slave and navigate the challenges of his environment. This reflects the immediate circumstances and power dynamics he is facing.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The internal conflicts and emotional struggles of the characters drive the scene, creating a sense of tension and despair.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs and values driving the conflict between the characters.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes in the scene are the emotional well-being and survival of the characters, particularly Eliza and Solomon, as they navigate the harsh realities of slavery.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by delving into the emotional depth of the characters and highlighting the impact of slavery on their lives.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional outbursts and revelations that challenge the characters' beliefs and values.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the acceptance of one's circumstances and the desire for freedom and justice. Eliza challenges Solomon's resignation to his fate as a slave, forcing him to confront his own beliefs and values.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking strong feelings of sadness, empathy, and despair in the audience.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and internal conflicts of the characters, adding depth to their interactions and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity and the conflict between the characters, drawing the audience into their struggles.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional stakes, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' struggles.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for a dramatic confrontation, with a clear build-up of tension and emotional release.


Critique
  • The emotional weight of the scene is significant, as it captures the despair and hopelessness of the enslaved characters, particularly through Eliza's weeping and Solomon's harsh response. However, the abruptness of Solomon's violence towards Eliza may come off as jarring to the audience. It could benefit from a more gradual build-up to his breaking point, allowing viewers to understand the depth of his frustration and pain.
  • Eliza's poignant questioning of Solomon about his children is powerful and serves to highlight the emotional turmoil both characters are experiencing. However, the dialogue could be enhanced by incorporating more subtext or internal conflict within Solomon. Instead of him simply snapping, it might be more impactful if he struggles with his own emotions before resorting to violence, showcasing the complexity of his character.
  • The transition from the emotional confrontation between Solomon and Eliza to the more mundane task of fetching nails feels somewhat abrupt. The shift in tone could be smoothed out by adding a moment of reflection for Solomon after the confrontation, allowing the audience to process the emotional weight before moving on to the next task.
  • The use of Solomon's true name by Eliza is a strong moment that emphasizes his identity and connection to his past. However, it could be further emphasized through visual storytelling, such as a close-up on Solomon's face to capture his reaction to being called by his true name, reinforcing the emotional impact of that moment.
  • The scene ends with Solomon carrying the keg of nails, which serves as a practical transition to the next scene. However, it might be more effective to end on a more emotionally resonant note, perhaps with Solomon reflecting on Eliza's words or showing a moment of vulnerability before he resumes his labor.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of internal conflict for Solomon before he strikes Eliza, allowing the audience to empathize with his frustration and pain rather than viewing him solely as an aggressor.
  • Enhance Eliza's dialogue with more emotional depth, perhaps by including memories or specific fears about her children that could resonate with Solomon and the audience.
  • Smooth the transition between the emotional confrontation and the practical task by including a brief moment of reflection for Solomon, allowing the audience to digest the emotional impact of the previous exchange.
  • Utilize visual storytelling techniques, such as close-ups or changes in lighting, to emphasize key emotional moments, particularly when Eliza uses Solomon's true name.
  • Consider ending the scene with a more poignant moment that encapsulates Solomon's emotional state, perhaps through a silent reflection or a lingering shot that captures the weight of his circumstances.



Scene 32 - Defiance and Intervention
EXT. WEAVING HOUSE - LATER
IN A SERIES OF CUTS, we see Solomon breaking the head on
the keg, and begin going to work nailing the clapboards
onto the house. He is as diligent as ever.

EXT. WEAVING HOUSE - LATER
As the day gets on to mid-morning, the sun already baking
in the sky, Tibeats makes his way over to Solomon.
Before even arriving to Solomon, his mein is one of
belligerence; out of sorts and something less than sober.
TIBEATS
I thought I told yah to commence
puttin' on clapboards this morn'.
SOLOMON
Yes, master. I am about it. I
have begun on the other side of
the house.
Tibeats walks around to look over Solomon's work. He is
picayune, as if purposefully looking for fault.
TIBEATS
Didn't I tell yah last night to
get a keg of nails of Chapin?
SOLOMON
Yes, master, and so I did; and
Chapin said he would get another
size for you, if you wanted them
when he came back from the field.
Tibeats walks to the keg and kicks it. Moving toward
Solomon "with a great passion:"
TIBEATS
Goddamn yah! I thought yah knowed
something!
Solomon, perhaps inspired by his moment with Eliza, is in
no mood for Chapin.
SOLOMON
I did as instructed. If there's
something wrong, then its wrong
with your instructions.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 71.

TIBEATS
Yah black bastard! Yah goddman
black bastard!
In an inconsolable rage, Tibeats runs off to the piazza
to fetch a whip.
Solomon looks around. He is alone other than RACHEL the
cook and CHAPIN'S WIFE who, shocked by that which she
witnesses, runs out to the field to fetch Chapin.
Solomon's instinct is to run, but he stands his ground as
Tibeats marches back whip in hand.
TIBEATS (CONT'D)
Strip yer clothes!
Solomon does no such thing.
TIBEATS (CONT'D)
Strip!
SOLOMON
I will not.
With "concentrated vengeance," Tibeats springs for
Solomon, seizing him by the throat with one hand and
raising the whip with the other. Before he can strike
the blow, however, Solomon catches Tibeats by the collar
of his coat and pulls him in close. Reaching down,
Solomon grabs Tibeats by the ankle and pushes him back
with the other hand. Tibeats tumbles to the ground. A
violent struggle takes place as Solomon puts a foot to
Tibeats throat, and then in a frenzy of madness snatches
the whip from Tibeats and begins to strike him with the
handle again and again and again.
TIBEATS
Yew will not live ta see another
day nigger! This is yer last, I
swear it!
Solomon ignores the threats, continues to beat Tibeats.
Blow after blow falling fast and heavy on Tibeats's
wriggling form. The stiff stock of the whip wraps around
Tibeats's cringing body until Solomon's arm aches.
Tibeats's cries of vengeance turn to yelps for help and
then pleas for mercy:
TIBEATS (CONT'D)
Murder! It's murder! Lord, God,
help me. God be merciful!
Chapin comes riding in from the field fast and hard.
Solomon strikes Tibeats a blow or two more, then delivers
a well-directed kick that sends Tibeats rolling over the
ground.
CHAPIN
What is the matter?
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 72.

Tibeats struggles up and tries to present an air of
dignity and control while he keeps a demonic eye on
Solomon:
SOLOMON
Master Tibeats wants to whip me
for using the nails you gave me.
CHAPIN
What's the matter with the nails?
TIBEATS
They're...they're too large.
CHAPIN
I am overseer here. I told Platt
to take them and use them, and if
they were not of the proper size I
would get others on returning from
the field. It is not his fault.
Besides, I shall furnish such
nails as I please. Do you
understand that, Mr. Tibeats?
Tibeats answer is in the grinding of his teeth and the
shaking of his fist.
TIBEATS
This ain't half over. I will have
my satisfaction.
Tibeats moves off toward the house. Chapin follows. A
long moment, Solomon stands alone. He looks around, not
sure what to do; to stay or to flee. Anxiety mounts on
his features.
A moment more, and Tibeats exits the house. He saddles
his horse and rides off to beat the devil. Or, worse, to
fetch him.
Chapin comes running back out of the house. He is
visibly excited, and when he speaks he is quite earnest.
Though he tries to project reasoned emotions he gives off
an air of impending trouble.
CHAPIN
Do not stir. Do not attempt to
leave the plantation on any
account whatever. Your master is
a rascal, and has left on no good
errand. But if you run there is
no protecting you.
SOLOMON
Sir--
CHAPIN
If you run, Platt, there is no
protecting you. Rachel...!
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 73.

Chapin runs off to join Rachel. The two converse at a
distance from Solomon, then they head off for the log
kitchen.
Solomon is now very much alone, and he waits for what is
to come. AND WE WAIT WITH HIM. And we wait, and we
continue to wait... Moment by moment, the dread of the
unexpected mount.
Solomon's eyes begin to well. He has beaten a white man,
and he knows that death awaits him.
A SLIGHT PAYER TO THE HEAVENS BEGINS TO FORM IN HIS
THROAT, but he is too choked up to fully speak it.
Chapin has now returned to the piazza. He stands and
watches, but does not move to Solomon.
Solomon waits, and waits...
WE HEAR THE SOUND OF DISTANT HOOFS which grow louder and
louder in the manner of rolling thunder. It's Tibeats.
He returns with two accomplices; COOK and RAMSAY. They
carry with them large whips and a coil of rope.
Dismounting, they move with menace that is tinged with
perverse pleasure. Tibeats orders:
TIBEATS
Cross your hands.
SOLOMON
There is no need.
TIBEATS
You resist, I swear I will break
your head and cut your black
throat. Cross your hands!
Solomon does as ordered. He's tied by Cook and Ramsay -
his wrists, and then ankles bound in the same manner. In
the meantime the other two have slipped a cord within
Solomon's elbows, running it across his back and tying it
firmly. Solomon is then dragged toward a peach tree. A
lynching is in store. The naked horror of it intensely
palpable.
Solomon looks toward the piazza, but Chapin is now gone.
Tears of fear flow down Solomon's cheeks. He is on the
verge of panic; a man heading toward his own execution,
he begins to struggle and fight. Cook and Ramsay almost
relish this; an opportunity to inflict hurt on Solomon.
A rope goes around Solomon's neck, then is tossed over
the branch of the tree. The trio begin to hoist Solomon.
He gasps and gags as spittle flies from his mouth and the
life is choked from him.
With suddenness, Chapin comes from the house brandishing
a pistol in each hand - Colt Paterson .36 caliber
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 74.

"Holster" pistols with 9" barrels. Chapin moves with
determination toward the lynch mob. He is sharp and
matter of fact. With the guns in hand, he really doesn't
need to be much more demonstrative.
CHAPIN
Gentlemen... Whoever moves that
slave another foot from where he
stands is a dead man. Tibeats,
you are a scoundrel, and I know
it. You richly deserved the
flogging you have received. I
have been overseer of this
plantation seven years, and in the
absence of William Ford, am master
here. My duty is to protect his
interests. Ford holds a mortgage
on Platt of four hundred dollars.
If you hang him, he loses his
debt. Until that is canceled you
have no right to take his life.
Directing his attention to Cook and Ramsay:
CHAPIN (CONT'D)
As for you two, begone. If you
have any regard for your own
safety...I say, begone!
Cook and Ramsay don't need to be told twice. The pistols
Chapin's gripping make the situation real clear. Without
further word, they mount their horses and ride away.
Tibeats remains, and his anger with him.
TIBEATS
Yah got no cause. Platt is mine,
and mine ta do with as I please.
Yah touch my property, I will 'ave
yah strung up as well.
Tibeats mounts up and departs. There is a surreal moment
as Chapin's not sure what to do about Solomon. He
chooses to do nothing. Solomon is left dangling by the
neck from the tree as Chapin calls to Rachel:
CHAPIN
Run to the field. Fetch Lawson,
hurry him here and bring the brown
mule with him.
Rachel runs off. A FEW MOMENTS, then LAWSON comes
running with the mule. Chapin, with much urgency:
CHAPIN (CONT'D)
You must ride to Master Ford.
Tell him to come here at once
without a single moment's delay.
Tell him they are trying to murder
Platt. Hurry, boy. Bring him
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 75.
CHAPIN (CONT'D)
back if you must kill the mule to
do so!
Lawson mounts up and rides off, the mule demonstrating
much speed.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a tense confrontation outside the weaving house, Solomon stands up to Tibeats, who accuses him of disobedience and attempts to whip him. Solomon fights back, overpowering Tibeats, who vows revenge and seeks accomplices to lynch him. As Solomon is nearly hanged, Chapin intervenes with guns, asserting his authority and preventing the mob from executing Solomon. The scene concludes with Chapin sending for Master Ford to save Solomon.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Powerful conflict
  • Authentic portrayal of slavery dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Disturbing themes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is incredibly intense, emotionally charged, and pivotal in the story, effectively conveying the high stakes and danger faced by Solomon. The tension is palpable, and the execution of the scene is gripping and impactful.


Story Content

Concept: 9.1

The concept of depicting a life-threatening confrontation in the context of slavery is powerful and thought-provoking. It delves into themes of oppression, resistance, and the dehumanizing effects of slavery with depth and authenticity.

Plot: 9.2

The plot of the scene is crucial in showcasing the escalating tensions, the power dynamics between the characters, and the imminent danger faced by Solomon. It propels the narrative forward and sets the stage for significant developments.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the horrors of slavery, with authentic dialogue and actions that feel true to the historical context. The characters' reactions and choices are original and compelling.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Solomon and Tibeats, are well-defined and their motivations, emotions, and actions are portrayed convincingly. The conflict between them adds layers to their characterization and drives the scene forward.

Character Changes: 9

Solomon undergoes a significant change in the scene, from a moment of defiance and resistance to a realization of the grave danger he faces. His actions and emotions reflect a shift in his character and mindset.

Internal Goal: 9

Solomon's internal goal is to maintain his dignity and resist the dehumanizing treatment he faces. This reflects his deeper need for freedom, self-respect, and survival.

External Goal: 8

Solomon's external goal is to survive the violent confrontation with Tibeats and the threat of lynching. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in the scene.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.5

The level of conflict in the scene is extremely high, with a life-threatening situation, power struggles, and intense emotional confrontations. The stakes are raised significantly, creating a sense of urgency and danger.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Tibeats' violent actions posing a significant threat to Solomon's life. The audience is left uncertain of the outcome, adding to the tension.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are incredibly high, with Solomon facing the imminent threat of lynching and the risk of losing his life. The danger, urgency, and intensity of the situation heighten the stakes significantly.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a critical conflict, escalating tensions, and setting the stage for future developments. It adds depth to the narrative and drives the plot towards a crucial turning point.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the sudden escalation of violence and the unexpected intervention of Chapin. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident in the opposing values of humanity and cruelty. Solomon's belief in his own worth clashes with Tibeats' dehumanizing treatment and desire for control.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.3

The scene has a profound emotional impact on the audience, evoking fear, anger, and desperation. The intense emotions experienced by the characters are palpable, drawing the viewers into the harrowing situation.

Dialogue: 8.8

The dialogue in the scene is intense, impactful, and serves to heighten the tension and emotional stakes. It effectively conveys the power dynamics, emotions, and conflicts between the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, intense conflict, and emotional resonance. The audience is drawn into Solomon's struggle for survival.

Pacing: 8

The pacing effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged throughout the scene. The rhythm of the action enhances the emotional impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the standard screenplay format, making the scene easy to follow and visualize.

Structure: 8

The structure follows the expected format for a dramatic confrontation scene, building tension and conflict effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension through the escalating conflict between Solomon and Tibeats, showcasing Solomon's defiance and the brutal power dynamics of slavery. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext; Tibeats's insults are overt and could be more nuanced to reflect his character's complexity and the societal norms of the time.
  • The physical confrontation is visceral and impactful, but the pacing could be improved. The transition from verbal conflict to physical struggle feels abrupt. A moment of hesitation or internal conflict for Solomon before he fights back could heighten the emotional stakes and make his actions more relatable.
  • The introduction of Chapin as a protector is a strong narrative choice, but his character could be fleshed out more. Providing a brief backstory or motivation for Chapin's intervention would enhance the audience's understanding of his actions and create a more layered character.
  • The scene's visual elements are compelling, particularly the imagery of Solomon hanging from the tree. However, the emotional weight of this moment could be amplified by incorporating more sensory details—sounds, smells, and the physical sensations Solomon experiences—making the audience feel the gravity of his situation.
  • The ending leaves Solomon in a precarious position, which is effective for building suspense. However, it might be beneficial to include a moment of reflection for Solomon after the confrontation, allowing the audience to connect with his emotional state and the weight of his actions.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext to Tibeats's dialogue to reflect his character's motivations and insecurities, making him a more complex antagonist.
  • Introduce a moment of internal conflict for Solomon before he fights back, allowing the audience to understand his emotional struggle and the weight of his decision.
  • Develop Chapin's character further by providing a brief backstory or motivation for his intervention, enhancing the audience's connection to him.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene, particularly during the physical confrontation and Solomon's emotional turmoil.
  • Include a moment of reflection for Solomon after the confrontation, allowing the audience to connect with his emotional state and the consequences of his actions.



Scene 33 - Despair and Transfer
EXT. TANNER PLANATION - LATER
HOURS HAVE PASSED. The sun is now at its apex. Solomon
remains tied and dangling exactly where he was left.
Despite this odd and horrific sight, life on the
plantation continues. The OTHER SLAVES work in the
field. CHILDREN make their way playfully in the yard.
It should all underscore the fact that a black, hanging
even partially from a tree, is nothing unusual in this
time and space.
Chapin walks back and forth with the pistols in his
hands. Clearly he fears Tibeats returning with more and
better assistance. And yet, he does nothing to alleviate
Solomon's suffering. He heeds Tibeats words, and as
though caught up in the middle of nothing more than a
property dispute, he offers no further aid.

EXT. TANNER PLANATION - LATER
Solomon continues to hang. By now he is drenched in
sweat, and nearly delirious with dehydration. His lips
dry and parched. He may not die from hanging, but he may
very well expire before the day is over.
Eventually Rachel comes over - timidly, and as though she
were acting contrary to orders - and offers a drink of
water from a tin cup, pouring it in Solomon's mouth for
him. She then takes a small hand towel and dabs at the
water which clings to his lips.
She then retreats, and leaves Solomon to hang.

EXT. TANNER PLANATION - EVENING
The sun is just now arching for the horizon. Solomon
remains, as though his torture will not end. Ford,
trailed by the slave Lawson, finally comes riding up. He
dismounts, and moves swiftly over to Solomon. With great
heartache:
FORD
Platt... My poor Platt.
Ford produces a blade and cuts Solomon loose. Solomon
attempts to carry himself, but he cannot. He falls to
the ground and passes out.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 76.

INT. TANNER PLANATION/GREAT HOUSE - NIGHT
As we come into the scene, Solomon lays on a blanket on
the floor. Eventually, his eyes flutter, then open. He
is in the foyer of the Tanner house. As he gets his
bearings, he looks around the interior. THE SPACE IS
HANDSOME, AND WELL DECORATED. It is sharp contrast to
the bleak surroundings, shacks and dungeons Solomon has
largely been accustom to during his time of slavery. It
will be the "first and last time such a sumptuous resting
place was granted" during his twelve years of bondage.
Solomon doesn't have much chance to luxuriate in his
surroundings. He hears a DOG BARKING just outside, and
is unnerved. Has Tibeats returned to finish what he
started?
From a study, Master Ford appears with a gun in hand. He
goes to the door, opens it and looks outside. He can see
nothing. Satisfied, Ford crosses back over to Solomon.
He is frank with Solomon regarding the situation.
FORD
I believe Tibeats is skulkin'
about the premises somewhere, too
cowardly to show himself for a
proper confrontation. He will in
time. Tibeats wants you dead, and
he will attempt to have you so.
It's no longer safe for you here.
SOLOMON
Master Ford, I am willing to work.
I will proceed with all my labors
and more, but I beg that you take
me from this hateful place.
FORD
I cannot protect you.
SOLOMON
Master, please...
FORD
And I don't believe you will
remain passive if Tibeats attacks.
To strike him again is to warrant
your death from all corners. It
is best for you to go. I have
transferred my debt to Edwin Epps.
He will take charge of you. He is
a hard man. Prides himself on
being a "nigger breaker." But
truthfully I could find no others
who would have you. You've made a
reputation of yourself. A
notorious one as a slave of both
mind and will. You are an
exceptional nigger, Platt. I fear
no good will come of it.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 77.

BLACK
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In this tense scene, Solomon hangs tied from a tree on the Tanner plantation, suffering from dehydration as life continues around him. Chapin, armed and anxious about Tibeats, does nothing to help, while Rachel timidly offers Solomon water before retreating. Ford arrives, sorrowfully cuts Solomon down, but he collapses from exhaustion. Later, Solomon wakes in the Tanner house, where Ford warns him of Tibeats' threat and decides to transfer him to the harsher Edwin Epps, highlighting the brutal realities of slavery.
Strengths
  • Emotional impact
  • Character development
  • Tension building
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Hopelessness

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally impactful, effectively conveying the harshness of slavery and the despair of the characters. The tension and hopelessness are palpable, making it a powerful and memorable moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of depicting the cruelty and hopelessness of slavery is effectively portrayed in this scene. It captures the essence of the historical period and the struggles faced by the enslaved individuals.

Plot: 9

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene, showcasing the harsh realities of slavery and the challenges faced by the characters. It sets the stage for future developments and adds depth to the narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the horrors of slavery, with authentic character actions and dialogue that resonate with the audience. It presents a unique situation that challenges the audience's perceptions and emotions.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed in this scene, with their emotions and struggles portrayed effectively. The interactions between the characters reveal their depth and add layers to the story.

Character Changes: 8

The character of Solomon undergoes a significant change in this scene, from a state of desperation and suffering to a moment of realization and resilience. It adds depth to his character arc.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is survival and escape from the plantation. It reflects his deeper need for freedom, dignity, and self-preservation.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to convince Master Ford to take him away from the plantation and protect him from Tibeats. It reflects the immediate challenge of staying alive and avoiding further harm.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and emotionally charged, showcasing the power dynamics and struggles faced by the characters. It adds tension and drama to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Tibeats posing a threat to Solomon's life and Ford's decision to transfer him to Epps creating further challenges. The audience is left uncertain about Solomon's fate.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in this scene, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and intense emotional turmoil. It adds tension and drama to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges faced by the characters and setting the stage for future developments. It adds depth and complexity to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected twists, moral conflicts, and character revelations that keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the dehumanization of black people and the moral dilemma faced by the characters. It challenges Solomon's beliefs in justice, humanity, and equality.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, despair, and hopelessness. It effectively conveys the harsh realities of slavery and the suffering of the characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and tensions present, adding depth to the interactions between the characters. It enhances the overall impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it creates tension, emotional depth, and moral dilemmas that captivate the audience. The characters' actions and dialogue draw the viewers into the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension, emotional impact, and character development. The rhythm of the dialogue and actions keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue. It is well-organized and easy to follow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.


Critique
  • The scene effectively conveys the horror and brutality of Solomon's situation, emphasizing the normalization of violence against Black individuals during this time. The imagery of Solomon hanging from the tree while life continues around him is powerful and haunting, underscoring the indifference of the plantation society to his suffering.
  • Chapin's character is introduced as a morally ambiguous figure, caught between his fear of Tibeats and his awareness of Solomon's plight. However, his inaction could be further explored to deepen the audience's understanding of his internal conflict. Why does he choose to do nothing? What are the stakes for him personally? This could add layers to his character and the moral complexities of the situation.
  • The introduction of Rachel, who timidly offers water to Solomon, is a poignant moment that highlights the humanity of the enslaved individuals amidst their suffering. However, the scene could benefit from more emotional weight in Rachel's actions. What compels her to defy orders? Adding a brief internal monologue or a flash of her own fears could enhance the impact of her gesture.
  • The transition from Solomon's hanging to Ford's arrival is effective, but the pacing could be improved. The scene feels slightly rushed as it moves from the tension of Solomon's predicament to Ford's arrival and subsequent actions. A moment of stillness or reflection from Solomon before Ford cuts him down could heighten the emotional stakes.
  • The dialogue between Solomon and Ford is crucial, as it reveals the power dynamics and the harsh realities of Solomon's situation. However, Ford's explanation of transferring Solomon to Epps could be more concise. Streamlining this dialogue would maintain the scene's tension and urgency, allowing the audience to focus on the emotional weight of the moment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal conflict for Chapin to illustrate the moral dilemma he faces. This could involve a brief flashback or a moment of hesitation that reveals his thoughts on the situation.
  • Enhance Rachel's character by providing insight into her motivations for helping Solomon. A line of dialogue or a brief internal thought could clarify her fears and the risks she takes by offering assistance.
  • Slow down the pacing slightly during the transition from Solomon's hanging to Ford's arrival. Allow for a moment of reflection or despair from Solomon to deepen the emotional impact of his rescue.
  • Streamline Ford's dialogue about transferring Solomon to Epps. Focus on the essential points to maintain the scene's tension and urgency, ensuring that the audience remains engaged with the emotional stakes.
  • Consider incorporating more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere of the scene. Describing the sounds of the plantation, the heat of the sun, or the physical sensations Solomon experiences while hanging could immerse the audience further into his plight.



Scene 34 - The Cruelty of Labor
INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/BARN - DAY
EDWIN EPPS is a large, portly, heavy-bodied man with
light hair, high cheek bones and a Roman nose of
extraordinary dimensions. He has blue eyes, a fair
complexion and is full six feet high. His manners are
repulsive and coarse, and his language gives speedy and
unequivocal evidence that he has never enjoyed the
advantages of an education.
He reads the Bible to his slaves, eight of them
altogether. ABRAM; a tall, older slave of about sixty
years. WILEY, who is forty eight. PHEBE, who is married
to Wiley. BOB and HENRY who are Phebe's children, EDWARD
and PATSEY. Patsey is young, just 23 years old...though
in the era, 23 not as young as in the present day. She
is the offspring of a "Guinea nigger," brought over to
Cuba in a slave ship. She nearly brims with unconversant
sexuality.
MISTRESS EPPS, Epps's wife, is also present.
Though Epps reads the word of the Lord, he lacks the tone
of compassion with which Ford read.
EPPS
"And that servant which knew his
Lord's will...WHICH KNEW HIS
LORD'S WILL and prepared not
himself...PREPARED NOT HIMSELF,
neither did according to his will,
shall be beaten with many
stripes..." D'ye hear that?
"Stripes." That nigger that don't
take care, that don't obey his
lord - that's his master - d'ye
see? - that 'ere nigger shall be
beaten with many stripes. Now,
"many" signifies a great many.
Forty, a hundred, a hundred and
fifty lashes... That's Scripter!

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE CABIN - MORNING
The cabin is constructed of logs, without floor or
window. The rude door hangs on great wooden hinges. In
one end is constructed an awkward fireplace.
The sun has not yet even broken the horizon as a HORN IS
BLOWN from the Great House. Slaves rise, clearly weary
from their "joyful" night of dancing.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/FIELD - DAY
It is August, "cotton picking" season.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 78.

We are looking out over a cotton field in full bloom. It
presents a visual purity, like an immaculate expanse of
light, new-fallen snow. The cotton grows from five to
seven feet high, each stalk having a great many branches
shooting out in all directions and lapping each other
above the water furrow.
There is a slave to each side of the row. They have a
sack around their necks that hangs to the ground, the
mouth of the sack about breast high. Baskets are placed
at the end of the furrows. Slaves dump their sacks of
cotton in the baskets, then pick until their sacks are
again filled.
Solomon, as with the other slaves, is picking cotton. It
is hard, harsh back breaking work. Clearly he's not
"skilled" at the chore - he moves along slowly and does
not pick with any particular dexterity.
Patsey, on the other hand, is the "queen of the field."
She moves through the rows at speed, expertly picking the
cotton.
THE SOUNDTRACK TO THE SCENE IS NOTHING MORE THAN THE
RUSTLE OF LABOR, THE MALE CICADAS BUGS "TYMBALS" IN THE
HEAT and a SPIRITUAL SUNG BY THE SLAVES.
Despite the heat, there is no stopping for water. The
slaves are "driven" by Edward, who is himself "driven" by
Treach.
TREACH
C'mon. Drive dem niggers.
Edward moves among the slaves, applying the whip to them
without regard.
EDWARD
Pick dat cotton. Move along now,
hear?
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In this scene, Edwin Epps, a brutal plantation owner, reads from the Bible to his slaves, misinterpreting scripture to justify severe punishment for disobedience. As dawn breaks, weary slaves rise to begin their grueling work in the cotton fields. Solomon struggles with the demanding labor, while Patsey excels, highlighting the harsh realities of their existence. Edward, a slave driver, enforces compliance through violence, whipping the slaves to work faster, creating an oppressive atmosphere that underscores the relentless nature of their suffering.
Strengths
  • Authentic portrayal of slavery
  • Emotional impact
  • Character development
Weaknesses
  • Lack of character changes
  • Limited dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene effectively conveys the brutality and inhumanity of slavery, evoking strong emotions of sadness and despair. The harsh tone and oppressive atmosphere are portrayed with authenticity, making it a powerful and impactful scene.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of portraying the brutality of slavery on a plantation is effectively realized in the scene. It captures the dehumanizing treatment of the slaves, the harsh labor conditions, and the lack of compassion from the master, creating a compelling and authentic depiction of the era.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene focuses on showcasing the brutal reality of slavery on the plantation, emphasizing the back-breaking labor, the oppressive atmosphere, and the lack of compassion towards the slaves. While the plot is straightforward, it effectively conveys the central theme of the scene.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the brutality of slavery, with authentic character actions and dialogue that feel true to the time period.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Edwin Epps and the slaves, are well-developed and serve their roles effectively. Epps is portrayed as a cruel and repulsive master, while the slaves exhibit resilience and suffering in the face of oppression.

Character Changes: 8

While there are no significant character changes in the scene, the portrayal of Edwin Epps as a cruel and repulsive master and the slaves as resilient and suffering individuals effectively conveys the dynamics of power and oppression on the plantation.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is likely to survive and endure the brutal conditions of slavery while maintaining a sense of dignity and humanity.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to fulfill their duties as a slave and avoid punishment from the master.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.5

The scene's conflict arises from the oppressive and cruel treatment of the slaves by their master, Edwin Epps. The power dynamics and the harsh conditions faced by the slaves create a high level of conflict, emphasizing the brutality of the plantation setting.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the master's control over the slaves and the slaves' desire for freedom creating conflict and tension.

High Stakes: 9

The scene presents high stakes for the characters, particularly the slaves who face the brutal and dehumanizing conditions of plantation life. The oppressive atmosphere, the harsh labor, and the lack of compassion from the master create a sense of urgency and danger for the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by highlighting the brutal reality of slavery on the plantation and setting the stage for the challenges and conflicts faced by the characters. It establishes the oppressive atmosphere and the dynamics of power within the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is somewhat predictable in its depiction of slavery, but the specific character dynamics and conflicts add an element of unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between the master's belief in the justification of slavery based on religion and the slaves' desire for freedom and dignity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking strong feelings of sadness, despair, and anguish. The portrayal of the harsh realities of slavery and the suffering of the slaves elicits a powerful emotional response from the audience, highlighting the inhumanity of the institution.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the harsh and oppressive tone of the plantation setting. Epps's dialogue, while lacking compassion, serves to highlight the cruelty of slavery, while the slaves' lack of dialogue emphasizes their subjugation and suffering.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the brutal reality of slavery, creating tension and emotional impact.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and conveys the relentless nature of slavery.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for a screenplay, making it easy to read and understand.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dramatic narrative, effectively setting up the conflict and tension.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the oppressive atmosphere of Epps's plantation, showcasing the brutality of slavery through Epps's reading of the Bible. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtlety; Epps's interpretation of scripture is overtly cruel, which may come across as one-dimensional. A more nuanced portrayal could enhance the complexity of his character.
  • The description of the slaves and their labor is vivid, but it risks becoming overly expository. Instead of listing the characters and their relationships, consider weaving this information into the action or dialogue to create a more dynamic introduction to the characters.
  • The contrast between Solomon's struggle and Patsey's proficiency in cotton picking is a strong visual element, but it could be further emphasized through their interactions. Adding a moment where Solomon observes Patsey's skill could deepen the emotional impact and highlight his own feelings of inadequacy.
  • The use of sound in the scene is effective, but it could be enhanced by incorporating more sensory details. For example, describing the heat of the sun on the slaves' backs or the weight of the cotton sacks could create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • The transition from Epps reading the Bible to the field work is somewhat abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the flow of the scene. Consider adding a moment of reflection for Solomon as he moves from the barn to the field, contemplating the harsh realities of his situation.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising Epps's dialogue to include more subtext, allowing his cruelty to emerge through his actions and tone rather than explicit statements.
  • Integrate character introductions into the action rather than listing them at the beginning. This can create a more engaging and organic introduction to the characters.
  • Add a moment of interaction between Solomon and Patsey that highlights their contrasting abilities and deepens their emotional connection, perhaps through a brief exchange or a shared glance.
  • Enhance sensory details throughout the scene to create a more vivid and immersive experience for the audience, focusing on the physical sensations of labor and the environment.
  • Create a more fluid transition between the barn and the field by including a moment of introspection for Solomon, allowing the audience to feel the weight of his circumstances as he moves into the harsh reality of the cotton fields.



Scene 35 - Weights of Oppression
EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GIN HOUSE - EVENING
The day's work is done. The slaves are now assembled in
the gin house with their baskets of cotton which are
being weighed by Treach. There is anxiety among the
slave, the reason for which soon becomes apparent.
TREACH
Two hundred forty pounds for Bob.
EPPS
What yah got for James?
TREACH
Two hundred ninety five pounds.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 79.

EPPS
Tha's real good, boy. Tha's real
good.
TREACH
One hundred eighty two pounds for
Platt.
Epps does not look happy. Treach says again:
TREACH (CONT'D)
One hundred eighty two.
EPPS
How much can even an average
nigger pick a day?
TREACH
Two hundred pounds.
EPPS
This nigger ain't even average.
Epps pulls Solomon aside.
TREACH
Five hundred twelve pounds for
Patsey.
EPPS
Five hundred twelve. Yah men folk
got no shame lettin' Patsey out
pick yah? The day ain't yet come
she swung lower than five hundred
pounds. Queen of the fields, she
is.
TREACH
Two hundred six pou--
EPPS
I ain't done, Treach. Ain't I
owed a minute to luxuriate on the
work Patsey done?
TREACH
...Sir...
EPPS
Damned Queen. Born and bred to
the field. A nigger among
niggers, and God give 'er to me.
A lesson in the rewards of
righteous livin'. All be
observant ta that. All!
(beat)
Now, Treach. Now speak.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 80.

TREACH
One hundred thirty eight pounds
for Phebe.
EPPS
Hit one forty five yesterday.
Pull her out.
TREACH
Two hundred six pounds for Abram.
EPPS
How much he pick yesterday?
TREACH
Two hundred twenty nine pounds.
Abram is pulled from the line, huddled with Solomon.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In the gin house of Master Epps's plantation, slaves gather after a long day of cotton picking to have their harvest weighed. Tension fills the air as weighmaster Treach announces the weights, revealing Epps's disdain for Solomon's low yield of 182 pounds, contrasting sharply with his praise for Patsey's remarkable 512 pounds. Epps's derogatory remarks highlight his cruelty and the oppressive dynamics of slavery, culminating in his decision to pull Abram from the line due to his lower performance. The scene encapsulates the anxiety and harsh realities faced by the slaves under Epps's authority.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of oppression
  • Strong emotional impact
  • Compelling power dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Lack of character development
  • Limited plot progression

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the oppressive atmosphere of the plantation, the tension between the slaves and their master, and the emotional weight of the slaves' labor. The dialogue and actions create a sense of unease and power dynamics, making it a compelling and impactful scene.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the dehumanizing act of weighing cotton as a metaphor for the oppressive nature of slavery is powerful and effectively executed. It highlights the harsh realities of the characters' lives and the systemic cruelty they endure.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on the daily routine of the slaves, the power dynamics between the master and the slaves, and the emotional impact of their labor. It effectively sets up conflicts and establishes the harsh realities of their situation.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the brutality of slavery and the dynamics between slave owners and slaves. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. The scene effectively showcases the emotional turmoil of the slaves, the authoritative nature of the master, and the power dynamics at play. The characters' interactions drive the tension and conflict in the scene.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the emotional turmoil and defiance displayed by the characters hint at potential growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to survive and endure the harsh conditions of slavery while maintaining a sense of dignity and self-worth.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to meet the daily quota of cotton picking to avoid punishment or further degradation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is palpable, stemming from the power dynamics between the master and the slaves, the emotional turmoil of the characters, and the oppressive nature of the plantation system. It creates tension and drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the slave owner exerting control and the slaves resisting in subtle ways.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as the characters face the daily dehumanization of slavery, the power dynamics between the master and the slaves, and the emotional toll of their labor. The consequences of their actions and the oppressive nature of their situation heighten the stakes.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the oppressive nature of the plantation system, the power dynamics between the characters, and the emotional turmoil they experience. It sets up conflicts and tensions that will likely drive the narrative in future scenes.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics between the characters and the uncertainty of the outcomes.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between the dehumanization of the slaves by the slave owner and the slaves' inherent humanity and dignity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, eliciting feelings of anxiety, sorrow, and defiance. The oppressive atmosphere, the emotional turmoil of the characters, and the power dynamics at play evoke strong emotions in the audience, making it a memorable and impactful scene.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the power dynamics, the emotional turmoil of the characters, and the oppressive nature of the plantation system. It enhances the tension and conflict in the scene, making it engaging and impactful.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense dialogue, the high stakes for the characters, and the emotional impact of the situation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and conveys the urgency of the characters' situation.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for its genre, making the scene easy to follow and engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively establishes the oppressive atmosphere of the plantation through the weighing of cotton, which serves as a direct measure of the slaves' worth and productivity. However, the dialogue could benefit from more emotional depth to convey the internal struggles of the characters, particularly Solomon. His low weight should evoke a stronger sense of despair and frustration, which could be achieved through internal monologue or more expressive dialogue.
  • Epps's character is portrayed as cruel and dismissive, which is effective, but the scene could explore his motivations further. Adding a moment of reflection or a brief backstory could enhance his character complexity, making him more than just a one-dimensional antagonist. This would also provide a contrast to Solomon's plight, heightening the emotional stakes.
  • The dialogue between Treach and Epps is functional but lacks subtext. Incorporating more tension or conflict in their exchanges could elevate the stakes. For instance, Treach could express fear or reluctance in delivering bad news about Solomon's weight, hinting at the consequences of Epps's wrath.
  • The scene's pacing feels rushed, particularly in the transitions between the weights being announced. Slowing down the rhythm could allow for more dramatic pauses, giving the audience time to absorb the weight of each announcement and its implications for the characters involved.
  • The visual elements are strong, but the scene could benefit from more descriptive imagery to enhance the emotional impact. For example, describing the physical state of the slaves as they await their weights could create a more visceral connection to their suffering.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment where Solomon reflects internally on his weight and what it signifies about his worth and identity, allowing the audience to connect more deeply with his emotional state.
  • Introduce a moment of hesitation or fear from Treach when announcing Solomon's weight, which could foreshadow Epps's reaction and build tension in the scene.
  • Incorporate more descriptive language to paint a vivid picture of the slaves' physical and emotional states, enhancing the audience's empathy for their plight.
  • Slow down the pacing of the scene by allowing for pauses after each weight is announced, giving characters and the audience time to react to the implications of the numbers.
  • Explore Epps's motivations further by adding a line or two that hints at his insecurities or fears about his authority, making him a more complex antagonist.



Scene 36 - Dance of Despair
EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/YARD - EVENING
A flogging is going on. Solomon, Phebe, and Abram are
stripped and now being given a perfunctory whipping
delivered by Epps.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION - EVENING
Evening, but the day is not yet done. Slaves attend
their various evening chores; feeding livestock, doing
laundry, cooking food. There is no respite from a
slave's charge.

INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT
A fire is kindled in the cabin. The slaves finally fix
their own dinner of corn meal. Corn is ground in a small
hand mill. The corn meal is mixed with a little water,
placed in the fire and baked. When it is "done brown"
the ashes are scraped off. Bacon is fried. The slaves
eat.
As they eat, Abram goes on in great length and with much
emotion about General Jackson.
UNCLE ABRAM
Hold my words: General Jackson
will forever be immortalized. His
bravery will be handed down to the
last posterity. If ever there be
a stain upon "raw militia," he
done wiped away on the eight of
January. I say da result a that
day's battle is of 'mo importance
to our grand nation than any
occurrence 'fo or since. Great
man. Great man in deed. We all
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 81.
UNCLE ABRAM (CONT'D)
need pray to Heavenly Father da
General reign over us always.

INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT
The slaves are sleeping. There is a loud commotion.
Epps enters, drunkenly, forcing the slaves awake.
EPPS
Get up! Get up, we dance tonight!
We will not waste the evenin' with
yer laziness. Get up.

INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/MAIN HOUSE - NIGHT
Despite the lateness of the hour, the slaves are up and
now fully dressed. They take up position in the middle
of the floor. They wait, poised like actors... Solomon
strikes up a tune and the slaves dance. They do so very
wearily. The whole of it certainly more torture than
pleasure.
Epps, whip in hand:
EPPS
Where's yah merriment? Move yer
feet.
As the slaves twirl about Epps keeps an attentive eye on
Patsey. It should be quite clear that his primary
motivation for holding dances is so that he may view
Patsey twirl about the floor.
This fact is not lost on the Mistress Epps. A few
moments of Epps's lust on display is all that the
Mistress can bear. Jealousy mounting, she snatches up a
CARAFE. With all her might she throws it at Patsey. It
hits Patsey square in the face. TOO THICK TO SHATTER, IT
LEAVES HER BLOODY AND WRITHING ON THE FLOOR. The
dancing, the music stop. The slaves, however, react as
though it is not the first time they've seen as much from
the Mistress.
Mistress Epps, screaming like a hellion:
MISTRESS EPPS
Sell her!
EPPS
C'mon, now. Wha's this?
MISTRESS EPPS
You will sell the negress!
EPPS
You're talkin' foolish. Sell
little Pats? She pick with more
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 82.
EPPS (CONT'D)
vigor than any other nigger!
Choose another ta go.
MISTRESS EPPS
No other. Sell her!
EPPS
I will not!
MISTRESS EPPS
You will remove that black bitch
from this property, 'er I'll take
myself back to Cheneyville.
EPPS
Oh, the idleness of that yarn
washes over me. Do not set
yourself up against Patsey, my
dear. That's a wager you will
lose. Calm yerself. And settle
for my affection, 'cause my
affection you got. Or, go.
'Cause I will rid myself of yah
well before I do away with her!
Mistress Epps stands irate, lost in fury and unable to
even think of what to do. Eventually, optionless, she
storms away.
For a few beats there is only the sound of Patsey
sobbing.
EPPS (CONT'D)
That damned woman! I won't have
my mood spoiled. I will not.
Dance!
Epps sends the whip in Solomon's direction. Solomon
responds by playing.
Treach literally drags the prone Patsey from the floor,
blood still spilling from her face. The slaves, as
ordered, return to dancing.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary On Epps's plantation, Solomon, Phebe, and Abram endure brutal whippings before attending to their relentless chores. In the slave shack, they share a meager meal as Abram reflects on General Jackson's bravery. The atmosphere darkens when a drunken Epps forces the slaves to dance, revealing his obsession with Patsey. Mistress Epps, consumed by jealousy, violently attacks Patsey, injuring her. Despite the chaos, Epps refuses to sell Patsey, prioritizing his desires over his wife's demands. The scene concludes with the slaves reluctantly returning to their dance, overshadowed by Patsey's sobs.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Powerful portrayal of slavery's brutality
  • Tension and conflict between characters
Weaknesses
  • Depiction of violence may be triggering for some viewers

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of the characters, the tension between them, and the harsh conditions of slavery. It is impactful and sets a somber tone for the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of depicting the harsh realities of slavery and the emotional turmoil of the characters is well-executed in the scene. It effectively conveys the themes of power, oppression, and resilience.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the power dynamics between the characters, the emotional turmoil of the enslaved individuals, and the harsh treatment they endure. It moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges faced by the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the brutality of slavery, with authentic dialogue and actions that feel true to the characters' experiences.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed, with complex emotions and motivations. The dynamics between the slave owners and the enslaved individuals are portrayed convincingly, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional turmoil and face challenges that impact their beliefs and actions. Their experiences in the scene contribute to their development and growth throughout the narrative.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is likely to survive and maintain his sense of self-worth and dignity in the face of dehumanizing treatment.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to endure the physical and emotional abuse inflicted by the master and mistress.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense, with power struggles, emotional turmoil, and physical violence. The tension between the characters adds depth to the narrative and drives the emotional impact of the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting desires and power struggles driving the conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with characters facing physical violence, emotional turmoil, and power struggles. The consequences of their actions and decisions have a significant impact on their lives.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the challenges faced by the characters, the power dynamics at play, and the emotional impact of slavery. It sets the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is unpredictable in its portrayal of the characters' reactions and the shifting power dynamics.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is evident in the dehumanization of slaves and the moral dilemma faced by characters like Solomon and Patsey.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, anger, and empathy. The harsh realities of slavery and the emotional turmoil of the characters resonate with the audience, creating a powerful and memorable scene.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and power dynamics between the characters. It adds depth to their interactions and enhances the overall impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its emotional intensity, moral conflicts, and the audience's investment in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8

The pacing effectively builds tension and emotional impact, enhancing the scene's overall effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected standards for a screenplay, making it easy to follow and visualize.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively conveys the progression of events and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the brutality of slavery and the emotional turmoil experienced by the characters, particularly through the violent actions of Epps and the reactions of the slaves. However, the transition from the flogging to the evening chores feels abrupt and could benefit from smoother pacing to maintain the emotional weight.
  • The dialogue, especially Abram's passionate speech about General Jackson, serves as a poignant contrast to the violence surrounding them. However, it may come off as slightly out of place given the immediate context of their suffering. This could be refined to better integrate his admiration for Jackson with the harsh realities they face, perhaps by drawing parallels between Jackson's bravery and their own struggles.
  • The depiction of Epps's character is strong, showcasing his cruelty and obsession with Patsey. However, the Mistress Epps's motivations could be further developed to provide a deeper understanding of her jealousy and rage. This would add complexity to her character and enhance the tension between her and Epps.
  • The scene's climax, where Mistress Epps throws the carafe at Patsey, is shocking and impactful, but the aftermath could be explored further. The slaves' reactions to the violence could be more pronounced, emphasizing their desensitization to brutality and the normalization of violence in their lives.
  • The ending, with Epps commanding the slaves to dance despite the chaos, is powerful but could benefit from a stronger emotional resonance. Perhaps including a moment of silent reflection from Solomon or the other slaves before they resume dancing would heighten the impact of their forced compliance.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or dialogue among the slaves after the flogging to emphasize their emotional state and the toll of their experiences.
  • Integrate Abram's speech more closely with the scene's themes by having him draw connections between Jackson's bravery and their own fight for survival, making it feel more relevant to the moment.
  • Develop Mistress Epps's character by including a line or two that reveals her insecurities or past experiences that contribute to her jealousy, making her motivations clearer.
  • Enhance the aftermath of the carafe incident by showing the slaves' reactions more vividly, perhaps through their expressions or whispered conversations, to highlight the normalization of violence.
  • Add a moment of silence or a shared glance among the slaves before they resume dancing, allowing the audience to feel the weight of their suffering and the absurdity of their situation.



Scene 37 - A Morning of Oppression
EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION - MORNING
The sun has only just risen above the horizon. FROM THE
GREAT HOUSE THE HORN IS BLOWN signaling the start of
another day.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/FIELD - DAY
Slaves are in the field picking cotton. They accompany
their work with a SPIRITUAL.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 83.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE - LATER
As the slaves make their way in from the field, the
Mistress calls to Solomon. SHE HAS A PIECE OF PAPER IN
HAND.
MISTRESS EPPS
Platt...
SOLOMON
Yes, Mistress.
MISTRESS EPPS
Can you find your way to
Bartholomew's?
SOLOMON
I can, ma'am.
Handing Solomon a sheet of paper.
MISTRESS EPPS
This is a list of goods and
sundries. You will take it to be
filled and return immediately.
Tell Bartholomew to add it to our
debt.
SOLOMON
I will, Mistress.
Solomon looks at the list. In a careless moment, Solomon
reads quietly from it. He catches himself, but not
before the Mistress notes his action. With high
inquisitiveness:
MISTRESS EPPS
Where yah from, Platt?
SOLOMON
I have told you.
MISTRESS EPPS
Tell me again.
SOLOMON
Washington.
MISTRESS EPPS
Who were yah Master?
SOLOMON
Master name of Freeman.
MISTRESS EPPS
Was he a learned man?
SOLOMON
I suppose so.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 84.

MISTRESS EPPS
He learn yah ta read?
SOLOMON
A word here or there, but I have
no understanding of the written
text.
MISTRESS EPPS
Don't trouble yer self with it.
Same as the rest, Master bought
yah to work. Tha's all. And any
more'll earn yah a hun'red lashes.
Having delivered her cool advice, Mistress heads back
into the house.

INT. BARTHOLOMEW'S - LATER
A general store in the township of Holmesville. Solomon
stands at the counter as BARTHOLOMEW fills Mistress
Epps's order. Among the items set before Solomon is a
quantity of foolscrap.
The items are collected for Solomon and placed in a sack.
Solomon giving little thought to them other than getting
them back to the mistress.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE - LATER
Solomon returns and delivers the items to the Mistress.
MISTRESS EPPS
Any trouble?
SOLOMON
No, ma'am. No trouble.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary As the sun rises over Master Epps's plantation, slaves labor in the fields while singing. Mistress Epps summons Solomon, instructing him to fetch goods from Bartholomew's store and warning him against literacy, threatening punishment for any further attempts to read. Solomon complies, collecting the items and returning to deliver them to Mistress Epps, confirming there were no issues during his errand. The scene highlights the oppressive dynamics of slavery and the control exerted over Solomon's identity and potential.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Effective portrayal of power dynamics
  • Strong character interactions
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Lack of resolution in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively establishes the oppressive atmosphere on the plantation through the interaction between Solomon and Mistress Epps, highlighting the limitations imposed on the enslaved individuals and the underlying tension in their interactions.


Story Content

Concept: 8.5

The concept of showcasing the restrictions and power dynamics faced by the enslaved individuals is effectively portrayed in the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses by revealing more about the characters and their relationships, setting up potential conflicts and tensions for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh approach to depicting the harsh realities of slavery, focusing on the internal and external struggles of the protagonist in a nuanced way. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Solomon and Mistress Epps are well-developed in this scene, with their personalities and motivations clearly portrayed through their interactions.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it sets the stage for potential developments in the characters' arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the oppressive environment of the plantation while maintaining his sense of self and dignity. This reflects his deeper need for survival and a desire to hold onto his identity despite the dehumanizing circumstances.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to successfully deliver the items to the Mistress without causing any trouble or drawing attention to himself. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the power dynamics and expectations of the plantation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict between the enslaved individuals and their oppressors is subtly portrayed in this scene, setting up potential conflicts for future developments.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the Mistress's authority and the societal structures of the plantation posing significant challenges for the protagonist.

High Stakes: 7

The high stakes are subtly hinted at in the scene, with the potential consequences of disobedience or defiance looming over the characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by providing insight into the characters and their relationships, setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the subtle power dynamics and the potential consequences of the protagonist's actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the Mistress's belief in the inherent inferiority of the slaves and their lack of agency, contrasted with Solomon's desire to assert his identity and intelligence despite the oppressive environment.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a sense of unease and tension, eliciting emotional responses from the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the power dynamics and tension between the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the tension between the characters, the stark portrayal of the plantation setting, and the protagonist's internal and external struggles.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and conveys the oppressive atmosphere of the plantation setting.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, effectively conveying the setting and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively setting up the power dynamics and conflicts that will drive the narrative forward.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the oppressive atmosphere of the plantation, showcasing the daily routine of the slaves and the power dynamics at play. However, the dialogue between Solomon and Mistress Epps feels somewhat expository and could benefit from more subtlety. Instead of directly asking about Solomon's background and literacy, Mistress Epps could express her curiosity through more indirect questions or comments that reveal her character and motivations.
  • The transition from the field to the interaction with Mistress Epps is somewhat abrupt. It would enhance the flow of the scene to include a brief moment that illustrates the physical toll of the labor on Solomon and the other slaves before they engage in conversation. This could serve to deepen the audience's understanding of Solomon's character and his current state of mind.
  • Mistress Epps's warning about the consequences of literacy is a crucial moment, but it could be more impactful if it were delivered with a greater sense of menace or urgency. The stakes of Solomon's literacy should feel more immediate, perhaps by showing her anger or fear of the implications of a literate slave, which would heighten the tension in the scene.
  • The scene lacks a strong emotional arc. While it establishes the oppressive environment, it doesn't provide a moment of internal conflict or growth for Solomon. Adding a brief moment of reflection or a flashback could help illustrate his emotional state and the weight of his circumstances, making the audience more invested in his plight.
  • The visual elements are somewhat underutilized. The description of the setting could be expanded to include more sensory details that evoke the harshness of the plantation life, such as the heat of the sun, the sound of cotton being picked, or the oppressive silence that follows the Mistress's departure. This would create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the dialogue to make it feel more natural and less expository. Allow the characters to reveal information about themselves and their circumstances through their actions and subtler exchanges.
  • Add a moment that illustrates the physical toll of the labor on Solomon and the other slaves before the conversation with Mistress Epps. This could help establish a stronger connection between Solomon's work and his interactions with her.
  • Enhance Mistress Epps's warning about literacy by infusing it with more emotional weight. Consider showing her fear or anger regarding the implications of a literate slave, which would raise the stakes for Solomon.
  • Incorporate a moment of internal conflict or reflection for Solomon to provide depth to his character. This could be a brief flashback or a moment of contemplation that highlights his emotional struggles.
  • Expand the visual descriptions to include more sensory details that evoke the harsh realities of plantation life. This will help create a more immersive atmosphere and enhance the emotional impact of the scene.



Scene 38 - Tensions at Shaw's Plantation
EXT. ROAD - DAY
Solomon is running flat out along the road. Running as
though his life depended on getting to his destination in
beyond a timely manner.

EXT. SHAW'S PLANTATION - LATER
Still running, slick with sweat, Solomon comes upon the
SHAW PLANTATION. It rivals that of Epps's in every way.
MASTER SHAW, A WHITE PLANTATION OWNER, IS ON THE LAWN
GROOMING A HORSE.
Sitting on the plantation's Piazza, Patsey is having tea
with MISTRESS HARRIET SHAW, WHO IS A BLACK WOMAN. Though
once a slave, she is now comparatively refined though not
wholly so. The table where they sit is adorned with
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 85.

white linens, and they are attended by a HOUSE NIGGER.
It makes for a bit of a surreal scene.
As Solomon arrives:
MASTER SHAW
Platt Epps, good Sunday morning.
SOLOMON
Good morning, Master Shaw. I've
been sent by Master to retrieve
Patsey. May I approach?
MASTER SHAW
You may.
Solomon makes his way over to the piazza.
SOLOMON
Excuse me, Mistress Shaw.
MISTRESS SHAW
Nigger Platt.
SOLOMON
My apologies. Patsey, Master
wishes you to return.
PATSEY
Sabbath day. I's free ta roam.
Massa know where I be.
SOLOMON
Understood. But the Master sent
me running to fetch you, and said
no time should be wasted.
MISTRESS SHAW
Drink tea, Nigger Platt?
SOLOMON
Thank you, Mistress, but I don't
dare.
MISTRESS SHAW
Would you knowed Massa Epps's
consternation ta be any lessened
wit your timely return? Anger be
his constant condition. Sit,
Nigger Platt. Sit and drink the
tea that offered.
Solomon knows better, but he sits and the Mistress has
tea poured for him.
MISTRESS SHAW (CONT'D)
What'n was Epps's concern?
SOLOMON
...I'd rather not say...
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 86.

MISTRESS SHAW
L'il gossip on the Sabbath be
fine. All things in moderation.
Solomon is not sure what to say. He struggles to be as
diplomatic as possible.
SOLOMON
As you are aware, Master Epps can
be a man of a hard countenance.
There are times when it is
impossible to account for his
logic. You know he has ill
feelings toward your husband.
MISTRESS SHAW
He do.
SOLOMON
Master Epps has somehow come to
believe, as incorrectly as it may
be, that Master Shaw is... That
he is something of a lothario and
an unprincipled man. A misguided
belief born out of their mutual
competition as planters, no doubt.
MISTRESS SHAW
No doubt...if not born outta truth
itself.
The Mistress waves to Shaw. Shaw, unsuspecting of the
conversation, waves back.
SOLOMON
I'm certain, with regard to
Patsey's well being, Master Epps
concern is only to mind what is
his.
MISTRESS SHAW
Nothin' Epps desire come outta
concern. It all outta jealously.
SOLOMON
I meant no disrespect.
MISTRESS SHAW
He ain't heard you.
SOLOMON
I meant no disrespect to you,
Mistress.
MISTRESS EPPS
Ha! You worry for me? Got no
cause to worry for my senses.
Nigger Epps, I ain't felt the end
of a lash in 'mo years than I cain
recall. Ain't worked a field,
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 87.
MISTRESS EPPS (CONT'D)
neither. Where one time I served,
now I got others servin' me. The
cost to my current existence be
Massa Shaw broadcasting his
affections. 'N me enjoining his
pantomime of fidelity. If that
what keep me from the cotton
pickin' niggers, that what it be.
A small and reasonable price to be
paid 'fo sure.
Looking toward Patsey:
MISTRESS SHAW
I knowed what it like to be the
object of Massa's predilections
and peculiarities. And I knowed
they can get expressed with
kindness or wit violence. A lusty
visit in the night, or a
visitation from the whip. And wit
my experience, if'n I can give
comfort, then comfort I give. And
you take comfort, Patsey; the Good
Lord will manage Epps. In His own
time the Good Lord will manage dem
all. Yes, Lordy, there's a day
comin' that will burn as an oven.
May be sooner, or it may be later,
but it comin' as sure as the Lord
is just. When His will be
done...the curse on the Pharos is
a poor example of all that wait
'fo the plantation class.
As if to punctuate her thought, the Mistress takes a sip
of her tea.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary Solomon arrives at Shaw's Plantation to retrieve Patsey at Master Epps's request. He encounters Master Shaw and Mistress Harriet Shaw, who invite him for tea. During their conversation, they discuss the rivalry between Master Epps and Master Shaw, revealing the complexities of their lives under the plantation system. Patsey asserts her right to remain on the plantation, highlighting the power dynamics at play. The scene ends with Mistress Shaw reflecting on their circumstances, sipping her tea amidst the tension.
Strengths
  • Intense dialogue
  • Complex character dynamics
  • Tension and drama
  • Powerful performances
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Reliance on dialogue for conflict resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted with a strong focus on dialogue and character dynamics. The tension and drama are palpable, drawing the audience into the complex relationships and power struggles. The scene effectively sets the tone for future conflicts and developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around power dynamics, relationships, and tensions on the plantation. It effectively explores the complexities of interactions between characters and sets the stage for future conflicts. The scene is crucial for establishing the tone and themes of the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on the interaction between Solomon and Mistress Shaw, revealing tensions and power struggles. It advances the narrative by deepening character relationships and setting up future conflicts. The scene contributes to the overall development of the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the dynamics of power and oppression within the context of slavery. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Solomon and Mistress Shaw, are well-developed and complex. Their interactions reveal layers of emotions, motivations, and power dynamics. The dialogue and performances bring the characters to life, making them compelling and engaging.

Character Changes: 8

The scene showcases subtle shifts in the characters, particularly in their interactions and dynamics. Solomon's diplomacy and resilience are highlighted, while Mistress Shaw's complex emotions and motivations are revealed. The characters navigate power dynamics and emotional challenges, setting the stage for further development.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the delicate social dynamics of the plantation while maintaining his dignity and integrity. His interactions with Mistress Shaw and Patsey reflect his desire to navigate the power dynamics of the plantation system.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to retrieve Patsey and return her to Master Epps in a timely manner. This goal reflects the immediate challenge he faces in navigating the power dynamics of the plantation system.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The scene is filled with tension and conflict, both overt and underlying. The power struggles, emotional turmoil, and confrontations between characters create a palpable sense of conflict that drives the scene forward. The high stakes and intense emotions heighten the conflict.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting motivations and desires driving the characters' interactions. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome of the characters' conflicts.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as characters navigate power dynamics, emotional turmoil, and conflicting motivations. The tension and conflict raise the stakes, highlighting the risks and consequences of their actions. The scene sets the stage for significant developments and challenges ahead.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening character relationships, establishing tensions, and setting up future conflicts. It advances the narrative by revealing key dynamics and motivations that will drive the plot forward. The scene is pivotal for character development and plot progression.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and moral complexities of the characters' interactions. The audience is kept on edge by the characters' conflicting motivations and desires.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between the oppressive system of slavery and the characters' attempts to find agency and dignity within that system. Mistress Shaw's reflections on power dynamics and the role of the Good Lord highlight this conflict.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene has a strong emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, anxiety, and defiance. The interactions between characters, the power dynamics, and the underlying emotions resonate with the audience, creating a sense of unease and anticipation. The emotional depth adds richness to the scene.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is intense, revealing the underlying tensions and emotions between the characters. It drives the conflict and drama, showcasing the power dynamics and complexities of relationships on the plantation. The dialogue is crucial for character development and narrative progression.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its rich dialogue, complex character interactions, and exploration of power dynamics. The tension and subtext keep the audience invested in the unfolding drama.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and conflict, keeping the audience engaged in the unfolding drama. The rhythm of the dialogue and character interactions contributes to the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, effectively conveying the setting and character dynamics through visual descriptions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict through dialogue and character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and complexity of the relationships between the characters, particularly the power dynamics at play. Solomon's interactions with Mistress Shaw and Master Shaw highlight the precarious position of a slave navigating the expectations and whims of his masters. However, the dialogue can feel overly expository at times, particularly when Solomon explains Epps's jealousy and competition with Shaw. This could be streamlined to maintain a more natural flow.
  • Mistress Shaw's character is intriguing, as she embodies a former slave who has gained some power but still operates within a system of oppression. However, her dialogue can come across as overly verbose and somewhat theatrical, which may detract from the authenticity of the scene. Simplifying her speech could enhance her character's relatability and make her insights more impactful.
  • The surreal quality of the scene, with the juxtaposition of tea and the plantation's harsh realities, is compelling. However, it could be further emphasized through visual descriptions or actions that contrast the elegance of the setting with the underlying tension of slavery. For instance, incorporating more sensory details about the environment could enhance the atmosphere.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven, particularly with the lengthy dialogue exchanges. While the conversations are rich in subtext, they could benefit from more action or physicality to break up the dialogue and keep the audience engaged. This would also help to convey the urgency of Solomon's mission to retrieve Patsey.
  • The scene ends on a somewhat ambiguous note, with Mistress Shaw's ominous remarks about the future. While this adds depth, it may leave the audience wanting a clearer resolution or a stronger transition to the next scene. A more definitive closing line or action could help to solidify the scene's impact.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to reduce exposition and enhance natural flow. Focus on showing rather than telling the characters' motivations and relationships.
  • Simplify Mistress Shaw's dialogue to make her character more relatable and grounded. This could involve reducing the length of her speeches and focusing on key phrases that convey her perspective.
  • Enhance the visual and sensory details of the setting to emphasize the contrast between the elegance of the tea scene and the harsh realities of plantation life. This could involve describing the sounds, smells, and sights more vividly.
  • Incorporate more physical actions or reactions from Solomon and the other characters to break up the dialogue and maintain a sense of urgency. This could involve Solomon fidgeting or glancing nervously at the time as he speaks.
  • Provide a stronger closing line or action to give the scene a more definitive conclusion, ensuring that the audience feels a sense of closure before transitioning to the next scene.



Scene 39 - A Drunken Confrontation
EXT. EPPS'S PLANTATION - LATER
Solomon and Patsey are returning from Shaw's. Waiting on
the porch of the Great House, a drunk Epps beckons for
Patsey to go to him. Aware of his lewd intentions,
knowing what's waiting for her, Patsey begins to lightly
cry.
PATSEY
Platt... De old hog-jaw beckon.
SOLOMON
Do not look in his direction.
Continue on as though he's gone
unobserved by you.
Epps does not care to be ignored. He lifts himself and
moves toward the pair in a rage.
EPPS
Patsey...!
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 88.

Solomon moves between Epps and Patsey, cutting Epps off
as Patsey continues on. Playing up his "ignorance" of
the situation:
SOLOMON
Found her, Master, and brought her
back just as instructed.
EPPS
What'd you tell her? What'd you
say to Pats?
SOLOMON
No words were spoken. None of
consequence.
EPPS
Lie! Damned liar! Saw you
talkin' with 'er jus now. Tell
me!
SOLOMON
I cannot speak of what did not
occur.
Epps grabs Solomon.
EPPS
I'll cut your black throat.
Solomon pulls away from Epps, ripping his shirt in the
process. Epps gives chase. Solomon begins to run around
the cotton field, easily keeping his distance. Epps,
however is undeterred. He moves after Solomon as
speedily as he can, which isn't very speedily at all.
And quickly he tires. He's forced to bend over and suck
air. Solomon maintains his distance, barely breathing
hard. His breath returned to him, Epps starts up the
chase again. Solomon runs on out of reach. Shortly,
Epps again stops, gets his breath... And now in what
should be quite comical, Epps again runs after Solomon.
Again, Epps vigor leaves him before he can even get close
to the slave.
Dropping down to the dirt, in a show of regret and piety:
EPPS (CONT'D)
Platt... Platt, liquor filled me.
I admit that it did, and I done
over reacted. It's the Lord's
day. Ain't nothin' Christian in
us carryin' on like this. Help me
ta my feet, and let us both pray
forgiveness.
Epps extends a hand to Solomon. Cautiously, Solomon
moves close, but not too close. As Solomon draws within
striking distance, Epps lunges for him. He chases
Solomon on until he is again out of breath and once more
drops down. And again offering a treaty:
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 89.

EPPS (CONT'D)
Platt...Platt, I'm all done in. I
have met my limitations, and I
ain't equal to 'em. I concede to
yah, but in the name of valor,
help yer master to his feet.
Solomon cautiously moves closer to help. Again he is
attacked by Epps - this time by knife. Sort of. Epps is
too drunk and tired to fully open the blade - and chased
far around the field by Epps. ALL OF THE PRECEDING
SHOULD BE MORE FUNNY THAN SHOCKING. A CHANGE OF PACE
FROM THE OTHERWISE NECESSARY BLEAKNESS OF SLAVE LIFE.
At the house appears Mistress Epps.
MISTRESS EPPS
Platt... Platt!
Solomon goes to her.
MISTRESS EPPS (CONT'D)
Wha's the commotion?
SOLOMON
A misunderstanding is all. It
began when I was sent to retrieve
Patsey from where she'd taken
sabbatical at Master Shaw's. Upon
returning, Master Epps believed
Patsey and me to be in
conversation when we were not all.
I tried to explain, but it lead to
all this.
MISTRESS EPPS
Edwin! Edwin, bring yerself ta
me.
Sheepishly, he goes to the Mistress.
MISTRESS EPPS (CONT'D)
What is it? What is yer
fascination with Pats?
EPPS
I wouldn't say it--
MISTRESS EPPS
Ya cain't remain the Sabbath
without her under your eye? Ya
are a no-account bastard.
EPPS
Hold a moment...
MISTRESS EPPS
A filthy, godless heathen. My bed
is too holy for yah ta share.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 90.

EPPS
Wha's...wha's he been tellin' yah?
MISTRESS EPPS
Of yer misbegotten ways.
EPPS
And he would know what of
anythin'? I ain't even spoken
with him today. Platt, yah lyin'
nigger, have I? Have I?
Discretion being the better part and all, Solomon remains
silent.
EPPS (CONT'D)
There; there's all the truth he
got. Damned nigger. Damn yah.
Epps push back into the house. The Mistress follows.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary On Epps's plantation, a drunken Epps aggressively pursues Patsey, prompting Solomon to intervene and protect her. As Epps's obsession with Patsey escalates, he chases Solomon around the cotton field, leading to a tense physical confrontation. Mistress Epps arrives, scolding her husband for his behavior and defending Patsey, which culminates in a heated exchange between the couple. The scene ends with Epps retreating into the house, followed by Mistress Epps.
Strengths
  • Intense conflict
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension-building
Weaknesses
  • Violence
  • Racial tension

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively captures the tension and emotional turmoil between the characters, with a mix of drama and humor. The confrontation adds depth to the characters and advances the plot significantly.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around the power dynamics between the characters and the emotional turmoil they experience. It effectively conveys the themes of control, defiance, and manipulation.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial as it showcases the escalating conflict between Solomon and Epps, leading to significant character development and setting the stage for future events.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh approach to depicting the power dynamics and conflicts on a plantation, with a focus on the characters' internal struggles and moral dilemmas. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed in this scene, with clear motivations and emotions driving their actions. The conflict between Solomon and Epps adds depth to their personalities and relationships.

Character Changes: 8

Both Solomon and Epps experience changes in their dynamic during the scene, with Solomon asserting his agency and Epps revealing his vulnerabilities. The confrontation leads to shifts in their relationship.

Internal Goal: 9

Solomon's internal goal is to protect Patsey from Epps' lewd intentions and violence. This reflects his deeper desire for justice, compassion, and resistance against the dehumanizing system of slavery.

External Goal: 8

Solomon's external goal is to diffuse the situation and prevent Epps from harming Patsey or himself. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the dangerous power dynamics on the plantation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and drives the narrative forward, showcasing the power struggle between Solomon and Epps. The escalating tension adds depth to the characters' dynamics.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Epps' violent intentions and Solomon's attempts to protect Patsey creating a tense and unpredictable dynamic that drives the conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as Solomon confronts Epps, risking his safety and challenging the power dynamics on the plantation. The outcome of the confrontation has significant implications for the characters.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by highlighting the escalating conflict between Solomon and Epps, setting the stage for future events and character developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it subverts expectations of a typical confrontation between a master and slave, adding elements of dark humor and unexpected character actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the clash between Epps' belief in his right to control and abuse his slaves and Solomon's belief in the inherent dignity and humanity of all individuals. This challenges Solomon's values of justice, compassion, and resistance against oppression.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions, including anger, sadness, and defiance, as the characters navigate the tense confrontation. The emotional depth adds complexity to the characters' motivations.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and emotions between the characters, adding depth to their interactions. The confrontational exchanges enhance the scene's impact.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it presents a high-stakes conflict, dynamic character interactions, and a mix of tension and dark humor that keeps the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict and resolution that keeps the audience engaged.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and conflict, following the expected format for a dramatic confrontation in a historical setting.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and absurdity of Epps's drunkenness juxtaposed with the serious implications of his actions. However, the humor intended in Epps's chase of Solomon may come off as inappropriate given the context of slavery and the violence that surrounds it. The balance between humor and the gravity of the situation needs careful handling to avoid undermining the emotional weight of the narrative.
  • The dialogue between Solomon and Epps is sharp and reveals the power dynamics at play, but it could benefit from more subtext. Epps's character is portrayed as volatile and irrational, yet there could be moments where his facade of authority cracks, revealing deeper insecurities or fears about losing control over his slaves.
  • Mistress Epps's entrance adds a layer of complexity to the scene, but her dialogue could be more impactful. Instead of merely chastising Epps, she could express her own frustrations or fears about their relationship and the plantation's dynamics, which would deepen her character and the conflict.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The comedic elements of Epps's chase could be interspersed with moments of tension or reflection from Solomon, allowing the audience to feel the weight of the situation while still engaging with the humor. This would create a more dynamic rhythm throughout the scene.
  • The visual elements of the scene are strong, particularly the imagery of Solomon running through the cotton fields. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details that evoke the setting, such as the sounds of the plantation, the heat of the day, or the physical toll of the chase on both characters, enhancing the audience's immersion.
Suggestions
  • Consider toning down the comedic elements of Epps's drunken chase to maintain the scene's emotional integrity. Instead, focus on the absurdity of the situation while ensuring it does not detract from the gravity of slavery.
  • Add layers to Epps's character by incorporating moments of vulnerability or insecurity in his dialogue, allowing the audience to see him as more than just a one-dimensional antagonist.
  • Enhance Mistress Epps's character by giving her more agency in the scene. Allow her to express her own struggles and frustrations, which would create a more complex dynamic between her and Epps.
  • Rework the pacing to alternate between moments of tension and humor more effectively. This could involve slowing down certain exchanges to allow for reflection or building suspense before comedic beats.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enrich the scene's atmosphere, such as the sounds of the plantation, the oppressive heat, or the physical sensations experienced by Solomon during the chase, to create a more vivid and immersive experience for the audience.



Scene 40 - Oppression and Despair
EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/FIELD - DAY
With the sun yet again high in the sky the slaves are
working the field picking cotton. As before they sing a
spiritual, the only thing that distracts them from the
tedium at hand.
But there is no distracting from the heat. We see Henry
begin to falter before it... And eventually collapse
right in the dirt. Though the other slaves take note,
none move to help him. None dare.
From Treach rather matter of factly:
TREACH
Get him water.
Edward runs to fetch a gourd. He carries it to Henry,
DUMPS THE WATER ON HIM, BUT DOES NOT ACTUALLY GIVE HENRY
ANYTHING TO DRINK.
Roused, Henry rights himself.
EDWARD
Go'won. Git up.
Unsteadily, Henry lifts himself and heads back into the
field. He joins in again with the spiritual, as if the
song is all that can keep him going.

INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACKS - NIGHT
The slaves are asleep. Epps arrives, again without
knocking, with his whip in hand. The slaves stir. Bob
asks:
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 91.

BOB
We dance tonight, massa?
Epps remains quietly focused on Patsey. And it's clear
from her apprehensive expression just what it is he's
come looking for. This time there is no escaping it. As
if to acknowledge the badness to come, Phebe lightly
cries.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/FIELD - NIGHT
WE MAKE A HARD CUT TO THE FIELD. Lit by moonlight, the
cotton sets off an otherworldly glow. Into this space
Epps is dragging Patsey. Far out into the field, he
stops, stands as if gathering his manhood, then he's all
over Patsey. He is rough and clumsy. It looks like
something between an awkward rape and a virgin attempting
his first sexual encounter.
Patsey does not respond in any way other than to
continually turn her head from Epps, but otherwise remain
as still as possible. If there is such a thing, she is
vicious with her passive aggressiveness.
Epps's frustration mounts until - as the Mistress Shaw
had cautioned - he crosses the line from passion to
violence. He begins slapping Patsey to get a response
from her. When that fails, he punches her which only
leads to him taking up his whip and lashing Patsey
MERCILESSLY. Still, she gives him nothing. Beaten,
Patsey sits in the dirt among the cotton, Epps deep
breathing above her. The desire for sex now having left
him.
Epps heads from the field. Patsey is left where she is.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE - DAY
As Solomon makes his way back from the field, Mistress
Epps calls to him. As previously, she has a list in hand
that she holds out to him.
MISTRESS EPPS
Platt...

INT. BARTHOLOMEW'S - LATER
As before, Solomon waits as Bartholomew fills Mistress
Epps order. Among the items set before Solomon is
another quantity of foolscrap.

EXT. ROAD - LATER
Solomon is making his way back to the Epps plantation.
He carries with him a sack filled with the goods from the
store. As he walks, SOLOMON LOOKS AROUND CASUALLY. When
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 92.

he is certain he is alone, he sets down the sack, opens
it and appropriates A SINGLE SHEET OF THE PAPER which he
folds and places in his pocket. That done, he cinches up
the sack and continues on his way.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE - LATER
Solomon returns and delivers the items to the Mistress.
MISTRESS EPPS
No issues, Platt?
SOLOMON
No issue, Mistress.

INT. EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACK - LATER
Solomon takes the slip of paper and hides it within his
fiddle. Perhaps the safest place he can think of. He
acts as though he's hiding away found gold. In reality
it's more than that. The paper for him is a first step
toward freedom.

INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/MAIN HOUSE - EVENING
It's another night of Epps's forced revelry. Coming in
quick from the previous scene, we go from Solomon holding
his fiddle, to playing it as the slaves are again made to
dance.
Mistress Epps brings out a tray of freshly baked
pastries. She sets them down on a table.
MISTRESS EPPS
A moment from the dancing. Come
sample what I baked for y'all.
The slaves, thankful for the rest as much as the food,
file toward the tray reciting a chorus of "Thank you,
Mistress." As Patsey moves toward the pastries:
MISTRESS EPPS (CONT'D)
There'll be none for you, Patsey.
Patsey merely turns away. Her non responsiveness,
however, serves only to incite the Mistress. Screaming:
MISTRESS EPPS (CONT'D)
Yah see that? Did yah see the
look of insolence she give me?
EPPS
Seen nothin' but her turn away.
MISTRESS EPPS
It was hot, hateful scorn. It
filled that black face. Yah tell
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 93.
MISTRESS EPPS (CONT'D)
me yah did'n see it, then yah
choose not to look, or yah sayin'
I lie.
EPPS
Whatever it was, it passed.
MISTRESS EPPS
Is that how you are with the
niggers? Let every ill thought
fester in 'em. Look at 'em. They
foul with it; foul with their
hate. You let it be, it'll come
back to us in the dark a night.
Yah want that? Yah want them
black animals to leave us gut like
pigs in our own sleep?
Epps isn't sure how to respond to the inchoate berating.
It's an invitation for the Mistress to continue.
MISTRESS EPPS (CONT'D)
You are manless. A damned eunuch
if ever there was. And if yah
won't stand for me, I'd pray you'd
at least be a credit to yer own
kind and beat every foul thought
from 'em.
Epps does nothing. The Mistress lets her anger loose.
She moves quickly to Patsey, DRIVES HER NAILS INTO THE
SLAVE'S FACE AND DRAWS THEM DOWN ACROSS HER FEATURES.
FIVE DEEP AND BLOODY GASHES ARE LEFT IN PATSEY'S SKIN,
the moment marked with appropriate screams. Patsey
collapses on the floor, covering her bleeding face.
Mistress Epps:
MISTRESS EPPS (CONT'D)
Beat it from 'em!
Thoroughly cuckolded by the Mistress's actions, Epps
takes his whip and pulls Patsey out of the house. His
intentions are plain.
All the slaves remain silent. The Mistress, however,
displaying high satisfaction, entreats the others:
MISTRESS EPPS (CONT'D)
Eat. Fill yourselves. ...And
then we dance.
They eat, but without a hint of levity.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a harrowing scene set on Master Epps's plantation, slaves toil in the cotton fields under the sweltering sun, with Henry collapsing from exhaustion. Despite the awareness of his plight, fear prevents the others from helping him. Epps, exhibiting his brutal authority, violently assaults Patsey in the moonlit field, while Mistress Epps's jealousy leads her to inflict further harm on Patsey. Amidst this violence, Solomon secretly clings to hope for freedom by hiding a piece of paper in his fiddle. The scene concludes with Epps dragging a bloodied Patsey away, leaving the other slaves in a state of fear and silence.
Strengths
  • Intense emotional impact
  • Realistic portrayal of oppression
  • Compelling character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Disturbing themes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene effectively conveys the harshness and brutality of slavery through its depiction of violence, tension, and fear. The emotional impact is strong, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles and highlighting the high stakes involved. The conflict is intense, driving the narrative forward and showcasing the character dynamics in a compelling way.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of portraying the brutality of slavery and the dynamics between the characters is executed with depth and authenticity. The scene effectively captures the oppressive environment and the emotional turmoil of the characters, creating a compelling narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene revolves around the brutal treatment of the enslaved individuals by their masters, highlighting the power dynamics and conflicts within the plantation. The narrative progression is driven by the intense emotions and actions of the characters, leading to a climactic confrontation.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the brutality of slavery, focusing on the internal struggles and resilience of the protagonists. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed, each displaying unique traits and motivations. The dynamics between the enslaved individuals and their masters are complex, showcasing the struggles and resilience of the characters in the face of oppression.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo subtle changes in the scene, particularly in their reactions to the violence and oppression they face. The defiance and resilience displayed by some characters hint at inner strength and growth, setting the stage for potential character development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is survival and maintaining a sense of dignity in the face of extreme adversity. Henry's collapse and subsequent return to work show his resilience and determination to endure the harsh conditions.

External Goal: 9

The protagonist's external goal is to survive and navigate the brutal treatment from the slave owners. Patsey's struggle to resist Epps's advances and violence reflects her immediate challenge of physical and emotional survival.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with intense moments of violence, tension, and power struggles between the characters. The conflicts drive the narrative forward and highlight the oppressive environment in which the characters exist.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the conflict between the slave owners and the slaves driving the tension and drama. The audience is kept on edge by the unpredictable actions of the characters.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes in the scene are high, with the characters facing physical violence, emotional turmoil, and the constant threat of oppression. The intense conflicts and power struggles raise the stakes, creating a sense of urgency and tension that drives the narrative forward.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by highlighting the brutal realities of slavery and setting up future conflicts and developments. The narrative progression is driven by the intense emotions and actions of the characters, laying the groundwork for further exploration of the plot.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics, unexpected actions of the characters, and the escalating conflict. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between the dehumanization and cruelty of the slave owners and the slaves' innate humanity and desire for freedom. This conflict challenges the protagonist's beliefs in the inherent worth and dignity of all individuals.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a strong emotional impact, evoking feelings of anger, fear, sorrow, and desperation in the audience. The intense moments of violence and oppression resonate deeply, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles and creating a sense of empathy and connection.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions, tensions, and power dynamics between the characters. The interactions are intense and revealing, adding depth to the character relationships and driving the narrative forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional content, high stakes, and complex character dynamics. The tension and conflict keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of tension-building moments, emotional beats, and character interactions. The rhythm enhances the dramatic impact of the scene.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue. The formatting enhances the readability and flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dramatic narrative, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the emotional impact of the scene.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the oppressive atmosphere of slavery, showcasing the physical and emotional toll it takes on the characters. The juxtaposition of the slaves' singing with the harsh realities of their labor is powerful, but it could benefit from deeper character development to enhance emotional engagement.
  • The dialogue is impactful, particularly Mistress Epps's tirade against Patsey, which reveals her jealousy and cruelty. However, the scene could be strengthened by incorporating more internal thoughts or reactions from Solomon and other slaves, allowing the audience to connect more deeply with their plight.
  • The transition between the day and night scenes is abrupt, which may confuse the audience. A smoother transition could help maintain the narrative flow and emphasize the contrast between the labor in the fields and the violence that occurs at night.
  • The depiction of Epps's violence is visceral and unsettling, which is appropriate for the subject matter. However, it risks becoming gratuitous if not balanced with moments of resilience or hope from the enslaved characters. Including a brief moment of solidarity or defiance among the slaves could provide a counterpoint to the brutality.
  • The use of physical actions, such as Epps dragging Patsey and the subsequent violence, is effective in conveying the horror of the situation. However, the scene could benefit from more sensory details to immerse the audience further in the environment, such as the sounds of the night or the physical sensations of the heat and fear.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding internal monologues or reflections from Solomon or other slaves during the cotton-picking scene to provide insight into their emotional states and enhance audience empathy.
  • Smooth out the transition between the day and night scenes by using a visual or auditory cue, such as the fading light or the sound of crickets, to signal the change in time and mood.
  • Incorporate a moment of connection or solidarity among the slaves before the violence occurs, which could serve to highlight their resilience and humanity amidst the brutality.
  • Balance the depiction of violence with moments of hope or resistance, perhaps by showing the slaves finding small ways to support each other or maintain their dignity despite their circumstances.
  • Enhance sensory details throughout the scene to create a more immersive experience for the audience, focusing on the sights, sounds, and physical sensations that accompany the characters' experiences.



Scene 41 - Despair and Destruction
INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT
We come up on the slaves who lay sleeping. All except
for Patsey. She rises from her bedding, goes to a corner
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 94.

of the cabin and removes something from a secretive
location. She then moves over to Platt.
PATSEY
Platt... Platt, you awake?
SOLOMON
I am.
PATSEY
I have a request; an act of
kindness.
Patsey displays what she took from hiding. It is a
LADY'S FINGER RING.
PATSEY (CONT'D)
I secreted it from the Mistress.
SOLOMON
Return it!
PATSEY
It yours, Platt.
SOLOMON
...For what cause?
PATSEY
All I ask: end my life. Take my
body to the margin of the swamp--
Solomon looks at Patsey as though she were insane.
SOLOMON
No.
PATSEY
Take me by the throat. Hold me
low in the water until I's still
'n without life. Bury me in a
lonely place of dyin'.
SOLOMON
No! I will do no such thing.
The...the gory detail with which
you speak--
PATSEY
I thought on it long and hard.
SOLOMON
How does such despair even come to
you?
PATSEY
How can you not see it? I got no
comfort in this life; caught up
between Massa's lust 'n Mistress's
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 95.
PATSEY (CONT'D)
hate. If I cain't buy mercy from
yah, I'll beg it.
SOLOMON
There are others. Beg them. Why
do you consign me to eternal
damnation with such an un-Godly
request?
PATSEY
There is God here! God is
merciful, and He forgive merciful
acts. Won't be no hell for you,
Platt. But you leave me damned
with every breath I draw. Born
into this station, twenty-two year
I suffer. My body so rent it 'mo
scars than flesh. End my misery,
Platt. Do what I ain't got the
strength ta do myself. End it.
Solomon says nothing. Clearly he's not about to do the
deed. As if delivering a curse:
PATSEY (CONT'D)
One day I will look upon yah, 'n
you'll know yah shoulda freed me
when there was the chance.

BLACK

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/FIELD - DAY
Hard times on the planation. Where previously the field
in bloom was a carpet of white, it is now patchy and
under grown.
The slaves move through the field picking not cotton, but
rather CATERPILLARS from the plants. The caterpillars
have dined on the cotton and nearly destroyed the crop.
Epps is beside himself as he looks out over his ruined
field.
EPPS
It is a plague.
TREACH
Caterpillars.
EPPS
A plague! It's damn Biblical.
Two season God done sent a plague
to smite me. I am near ruination.
Why Treach? What I done that God
hate me so? Do I not preach His
word?
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 96.

TREACH
The whole Bayou is suffering.
EPPS
I don't care nothin' fer the damn
Bayou. I'm sufferin'.
Epps looks among his slaves at work, his enmity growing.
EPPS (CONT'D)
It's that Godless lot. They
brought this on me. I bring 'em
God's word, and heathens they are,
they brung me God's scorn.
Crazed, Epps runs into the field, taking himself from
slave to slave delivering a whipping to all he can lay
his hands on.
EPPS (CONT'D)
Damn you! Damn you all! Damn
you!
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a slave shack on Master Epps's plantation, Patsey, overwhelmed by her suffering, pleads with Solomon to end her life, believing it to be an act of mercy. Solomon, horrified, refuses her request, leading to a moral conflict between them. The scene shifts to the next day, where Epps, frustrated by a caterpillar infestation, lashes out at his slaves, whipping them in a fit of rage, highlighting the despair and hopelessness of their lives.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Intense conflict
  • Powerful performances
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Hopelessness

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is emotionally charged, effectively conveying the desperation and hopelessness of Patsey's situation. The dialogue and actions create a sense of tension and conflict, drawing the audience into the harsh reality of slavery.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the depths of despair and hopelessness in the context of slavery is powerful and impactful. The scene effectively conveys the harsh realities faced by the enslaved individuals.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene focuses on the emotional turmoil and desperation of Patsey, adding depth to her character and highlighting the brutal conditions of slavery. It contributes to the overall narrative by showcasing the dehumanizing effects of slavery.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the horrors of slavery, with authentic dialogue and complex character motivations.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene, particularly Patsey and Solomon, are well-developed and portrayed with depth and emotion. Their interactions and struggles add layers to the narrative and evoke empathy from the audience.

Character Changes: 9

The scene showcases a significant emotional change in Patsey, revealing her deep despair and longing for mercy. Solomon also experiences a moral dilemma and internal conflict, adding complexity to his character.

Internal Goal: 9

Patsey's internal goal is to end her suffering and misery by asking Solomon to end her life. This reflects her deep desire to escape the torment and pain of her existence as a slave.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to survive and endure the harsh conditions of slavery, as seen in her interactions with Solomon and Epps.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is intense and emotional, focusing on the internal struggles of Patsey and the moral dilemma faced by Solomon. The power dynamics and emotional tension between the characters drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Patsey's desperate request conflicting with Solomon's moral beliefs.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene as Patsey pleads for mercy and faces the harsh reality of her situation. The emotional and moral dilemmas faced by the characters heighten the tension and create a sense of urgency.

Story Forward: 9

The scene contributes to the progression of the story by deepening the emotional stakes and highlighting the brutal realities of slavery. It adds depth to the characters and sets the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected request made by Patsey and the moral dilemma faced by Solomon.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the idea of mercy and the harsh reality of slavery. Patsey believes that mercy is a way to end her suffering, while Solomon struggles with the moral implications of her request.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, despair, and empathy from the audience. The raw emotions displayed by the characters and the intense desperation portrayed by Patsey leave a lasting impression.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and inner turmoil of the characters, especially Patsey. The conversations between the characters reveal their pain, despair, and longing for mercy.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional conflict between the characters and the high stakes of the situation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a dramatic climax.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dramatic confrontation, with clear character motivations and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the despair and hopelessness of Patsey's situation, showcasing her emotional turmoil and the extreme measures she considers. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtlety; while the raw emotion is powerful, some lines feel overly expository, which can detract from the authenticity of the characters' voices.
  • The contrast between Patsey's plea for death and Solomon's refusal is compelling, but the pacing feels rushed. The emotional weight of Patsey's request could be enhanced by allowing more pauses for reflection, giving Solomon's internal struggle more room to breathe.
  • The use of the lady's finger ring as a symbol of Patsey's desperation is poignant, but it could be further developed. The significance of the ring and its connection to her identity and past could be explored more deeply, adding layers to her character and her request.
  • The transition from the intimate moment between Patsey and Solomon to the external conflict with Epps is abrupt. A smoother transition could enhance the flow of the scene, perhaps by foreshadowing Epps's impending rage earlier in the dialogue or through visual cues.
  • The dialogue, while powerful, occasionally leans into melodrama. Phrases like 'you consign me to eternal damnation' could be rephrased to sound more natural and less theatrical, which would help maintain the scene's emotional authenticity.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal monologue or reflective pauses for Solomon to convey his emotional conflict more vividly. This could help the audience connect with his struggle to refuse Patsey's request.
  • Explore the backstory of the lady's finger ring more thoroughly. Perhaps include a brief flashback or a line that hints at its significance to Patsey, which would deepen the emotional impact of her request.
  • Introduce a visual or auditory cue that hints at Epps's impending arrival, such as the sound of his footsteps or distant shouting, to create a sense of foreboding and enhance the transition to the next scene.
  • Revise some of the dialogue to sound more authentic and less scripted. Aim for a balance between poetic language and natural speech patterns to maintain the characters' authenticity.
  • Consider incorporating more physical actions or gestures from both Patsey and Solomon during their exchange to visually express their emotional states, which can enhance the scene's impact without relying solely on dialogue.



Scene 42 - Brutality and Despair on the Plantation
EXT. ROAD - DAY
Henry, Bob, Edward and Solomon are being transported in a
cart driven by Epps. SOLOMON HAS HIS FIDDLE WITH HIM.
Along the way, on the side of the road, they see a SLAVE
BEING ATTACKED BY DOGS as PATROLLERS - BOTH WHITES AND A
FEW NATIVE AMERICANS - just stand and watch. The poor
slave lets out an AGONIZING SCREECH as he is ripped at by
the animals. A horrific sight, but a far too common end
for slaves that seek freedom by running.

EXT. JUDGE TURNER'S PLANTATION - EVENING
Epps delivers his slaves to JUDGE TURNER, a distinguished
man and extensive planter whose large estate is situated
on Bayou Salle within a few miles of the gulf. Epps and
Turner stand off to one side engaged in bargaining as
Henry, Bob, Edward and Solomon wait and watch.
As they wait, playing in the near background, another
group of SLAVES near a wagon are being divvied up. Among
them are a MALE SLAVE, and a FEMALE SLAVE. She is
perhaps his wife, or his sister... Some relation. For
whatever capricious reason, the Male Slave is herded back
to the wagon while the Female is forced to stay. Clearly
the pair are being split up, AS WE HAVE SEEN FAR TO OFTEN
WITH BLACK FAMILIES TO THIS POINT. This time, the Male
Slave will not remain idle as his relation is taken from
him. He tries to claw past the OVERSEERS screaming for
her.
The Overseers beat the man down, beat him back to wagon.
Despite this, the man continues to yell after the woman
as the wagon pulls away.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 97.

The woman is comforted by another female slave, ANNA, who
herself seems traumatized by both the physical and
psychological violence of the events..
Seemingly oblivious to what has just transpired, Epps
returns to his slaves and gives a parting salutation.
EPPS
Yer Judge Turner's for the season.
For more if need be, until my crop
return. It's my little fortune
he'll even have yah. Every
planter in the bayou is trying to
unload his niggers on 'em. So
yah'll bring no disrespect to me,
and yah'll bring no biblical
plagues to him. Be decent, ere I
will return to deliver an ungodly
whippin'.

INT. SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT
Slaves are crammed into the shack - LITERALLY ON TOP OF
EACH OTHER - as they try to sleep. Some lay, some sit
up. Packed in like cattle, there is barely room to move
let alone draw a deep, clean breath. There is a real
risk of suffocating in the mass. Among them some cough
and wheeze. A CHILD CRIES...
Among them is Solomon who must believe at this point that
his life has reached its very lowest point. The odds of
survival are slight, let alone the chance of actually
ever returning to his family. This clearly weighs on him
as he struggles to find anything like comfortable space
in the pen.

EXT. CANE FIELDS - DAY
An OVERSEER is explaining to the new slaves - SOLOMON
AMONG THEM - how to cultivate cane. WITH A KNIFE IN HAND
he demonstrates the process:
OVERSEER
Draw the cane from the rick, cut
the top and flags from the stalk,
understand? Leave only that part
which is sound and healthy. Cast
off the rest...

EXT. CANE FIELDS - DAY
ABOUT THIRTY SLAVES are working the field. They are
divided into THREE GANGS. The first which draw the cane,
the next lay the cane in the drill, the last then hoe the
rows after.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 98.

Solomon is among a gang that draws and cuts, and he moves
with speed and skill. Certainly more so than he
displayed picking cotton.
Standing with his overseer, Judge Turner watches.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Henry, Bob, Edward, and Solomon are transported by Epps to Judge Turner's plantation, witnessing the brutal treatment of slaves along the way. Upon arrival, they observe a violent separation of a male and female slave, highlighting the emotional toll of their situation. Epps warns the new slaves to behave or face punishment, setting a dark tone for their confinement. That night, they struggle to find space in a cramped shack, feeling hopeless. The next day, they are instructed on cane cultivation under the watchful eye of an overseer, marking the beginning of their forced labor.
Strengths
  • Emotional impact
  • Portrayal of oppression
  • Intense conflict
  • Realistic depiction of slavery
Weaknesses
  • Character development
  • Dialogue could be more nuanced

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the harsh realities of slavery through its depiction of violence, despair, and survival. The emotional impact is strong, and the conflict is intense, keeping the audience engaged. However, there are some weaknesses in terms of character development and dialogue.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene is strong, focusing on the brutal treatment of slaves on a plantation and the power dynamics between overseers and slaves. The scene effectively conveys the themes of oppression, survival, and despair, creating a compelling narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene is engaging, moving the story forward by showcasing the challenges faced by the characters and the escalating conflicts. The scene sets up future developments and adds depth to the overall narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic perspective on the brutality of slavery, with nuanced character interactions and emotional depth that set it apart from typical portrayals of the subject matter.


Character Development

Characters: 7.5

The characters in the scene are well-portrayed, conveying the emotional turmoil and struggles they face. However, there is room for further development to enhance the depth and complexity of the characters.

Character Changes: 7

While there are moments of character growth and change, particularly in the face of adversity, there is room for further development to explore the characters' arcs and transformations.

Internal Goal: 9

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to survive and maintain hope despite the overwhelming despair and suffering he experiences as a slave. His deeper needs, fears, and desires revolve around finding a way to endure the inhumane conditions and hold onto the possibility of reuniting with his family.

External Goal: 8

Solomon's external goal in this scene is to follow the instructions of the overseer and perform his assigned tasks in the cane fields effectively to avoid punishment or further mistreatment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict in the scene is high, with tensions running high between the characters and the oppressive power dynamics at play. The conflicts drive the narrative forward and add intensity to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the oppressive system of slavery and the cruel actions of overseers creating significant obstacles for the characters to overcome.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the characters facing life-threatening situations and intense conflicts. The risks and consequences add tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and conflicts for the characters to navigate. It sets the stage for future developments and adds depth to the overall narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected moments of emotional depth and resilience amidst the brutal realities of slavery, keeping the audience on edge and invested in the characters' fates.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the dehumanization and cruelty of slavery versus the resilience and humanity of the enslaved individuals. This challenges Solomon's beliefs in the inherent worth and dignity of all people, contrasting with the oppressive system he is trapped in.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a strong emotional impact, evoking feelings of despair, fear, and anguish in the audience. The portrayal of violence and suffering resonates deeply, drawing the audience into the harsh realities of slavery.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the emotions and tensions between the characters, adding depth to their interactions. However, there are moments where the dialogue could be more nuanced and impactful.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the emotional and physical struggles of the characters, creating a sense of urgency and empathy for their plight.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, allowing moments of quiet reflection and intense action to resonate with the audience.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively transitioning between different locations and character interactions to advance the narrative.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the brutality and dehumanization of slavery, particularly through the visceral imagery of the slave being attacked by dogs and the emotional turmoil of the characters witnessing the separation of families. However, the transition between the horrific events and the mundane dialogue of Epps could be more seamless to maintain the emotional weight.
  • The dialogue from Epps feels somewhat expository and lacks the depth that could enhance his character. While it establishes his authority and the context of the situation, it could benefit from more nuanced language that reflects his personality and the complexities of his relationship with the other characters.
  • The emotional impact of the scene is strong, but the pacing could be improved. The shift from the violent imagery of the slave being attacked to the bargaining between Epps and Turner feels abrupt. A more gradual transition could help the audience digest the horror before moving on to the next scene.
  • The visual descriptions are vivid, but they could be enhanced by incorporating more sensory details that evoke the atmosphere of the plantation and the emotions of the characters. For example, describing the sounds of the dogs, the cries of the attacked slave, or the oppressive heat could further immerse the audience in the setting.
  • The ending of the scene, where Solomon is crammed into the slave shack, is powerful but could be expanded to include more internal monologue or reflection from Solomon. This would provide insight into his mental state and deepen the audience's connection to his plight.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal thoughts or reflections from Solomon during the transition between the violent scene and the bargaining. This could help bridge the emotional gap and provide a deeper understanding of his character's turmoil.
  • Revise Epps's dialogue to include more character-specific language that reflects his personality and motivations. This could make him a more compelling antagonist and enhance the tension in the scene.
  • Incorporate more sensory details throughout the scene to create a richer atmosphere. Describing the sounds, smells, and physical sensations can help the audience feel the weight of the moment.
  • Explore the emotional reactions of the other slaves witnessing the violence and separation. This could add layers to the scene and highlight the collective trauma experienced by the enslaved individuals.
  • Consider extending the final moments in the slave shack to include a brief moment of connection or shared despair among the slaves, which could emphasize their shared suffering and resilience.



Scene 43 - Desperate Connections
INT. SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT
Again, the slaves have been herded into the shack and
pressed together.
As he tries to rest - sleep is nearly impossible -
Solomon finds himself face to face with a woman, ANNA -
the woman who we caught for a moment previously. She is
awake. For a few beats she avoids eye contact with
Solomon. If not in regard for what personal space he
has, then for a certain trepidation she seems to have and
desire to carry alone. She seem, like Solomon, to be
unaccustomed to her surroundings and horribly frightened
by them. Eventually her eyes meet Solomon's. She makes
no sound, but great apprehension spills from her eyes.
Whatever's next, whatever horror awaits, she can barely
stand to face. Fear, proximity... They drive her hand
to Solomon's. After a moment of seemingly reacquainting
herself with genuine human contact, the woman TAKES
SOLOMON'S HAND AND PRESSES IT TO HER BREAST. Solomon
tries to jerk his hand away, but ANNA HOLDS IT IN PLACE.
Manipulating Solomon's hand, she begins to massage her
breast. Solomon takes no real pleasure in the act -
really, neither does Anna. THERE SHOULD BE A TRUE SENSE
ANNA IS JUST SO VERY, VERY DESPERATE FOR HUMAN CONTACT,
FOR THE NEED TO FEEL ALIVE AND LIKE A PERSON RATHER THAN
AN ANIMAL THAT EMOTIONALLY SHE IS WILLING TO ENGAGE
SOLOMON.
The need quickly compounds. Anna presses her lips to
Solomon's. Eventually, SHE DIRECTS HIS HAND BENEATH HER
DRESS AND BETWEEN HER LEGS. Solomon, with slightly more
compassion than a guy making union wages, BEGINS TO
MANIPULATE ANNA WITH HIS HAND. The act remains more
perfunctory than passionate.
We can see Anna moving toward climax and eventual
release. But more - or substantially less - than joyous
sex, it is really just a drug-like inoculation against
reality. But the feeling quickly fades. All that
remains, as with most chance encounters, is regret.
And there is shame, too. This is put on display as Anna
turns away from Solomon. As quickly as it began, it is
as though the act had not happened at all.

EXT. TURNER PLANTATION - MORNING
Slaves are making their way out to the cane field. As
Solomon trudges off to labor, he notices a wagon being
LOADED UP WITH FEMALE SLAVES. Among them is ANNA, fear
quite thick on her face as she is about to be delivered
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 99.

to some as of yet unknown fate. As little as he knows of
her, as awkward as it was, the pair shared a moment and
it is a moment not easily discarded. Solomon is almost
unconsciously propelled toward Anna.
Before Solomon can close the distance, the DRIVER chides
the horse team and the wagon departs.
Anna again looks back to Solomon, her eyes quietly
pleading for him to do...something. But there is nothing
for him to do. Nothing he can do. The wagon rolls
on...and then it and Anna are gone.

EXT. TURNER PLANTATION - EVENING
Segregated slightly from other salves, Solomon sits
before a small fire. A thought comes to Solomon.
Crossing to some fencing, he tears loose a bit of wire.
With the wire Solomon fashions a loop. Holding the wire
to the flame of the fire, Solomon heats it until it
glows, takes a moment...THEN PRESSES THE LOOP TO THE
FLESH OF HIS LEFT INNER-FOREARM. He winces greatly, and
his eyes well not merely from the pain of the burns, but
from other complexities as well. Solomon repeats the
process again and again, renting his flesh in near self-
mutilation - as though doing penance - and circling the
burns until the marks resemble the STAIN GLASS FLOWER
ELIZABETH HAD MADE FOR HIM. Here, at nearly his lowest
point, Solomon literally burns the memory of his family
onto himself.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a slave shack at night, Solomon meets Anna, a frightened woman seeking solace in their grim reality. Their brief physical encounter offers a momentary escape from their suffering, but the next morning, Solomon watches helplessly as Anna is taken away with other female slaves. In his despair, he burns a flower shape into his forearm, symbolizing his longing for his family and the pain of his current existence.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character exploration
  • Powerful visual storytelling
Weaknesses
  • Minimal plot progression
  • Limited dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and desperation of the characters, creating a poignant and impactful moment. The exploration of human connection in the face of despair is compelling and thought-provoking.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of seeking solace and human connection in a dehumanizing environment is compelling and thought-provoking. The scene effectively explores the complexities of human emotions and the lengths individuals will go to find comfort.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot progression is minimal in this scene, the focus on character emotions and relationships adds depth to the overall narrative. The scene serves to deepen the audience's understanding of the characters' internal struggles.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic approach to the portrayal of slavery, focusing on the characters' internal struggles and emotional turmoil. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative, making it a unique and compelling depiction of the horrors of slavery.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Solomon and Anna are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their vulnerabilities and the lengths they will go to find connection in a harsh environment. Their emotional complexity adds depth to the story.

Character Changes: 7

While there is not a significant character change in this scene, the interaction between Solomon and Anna reveals new layers of their personalities and vulnerabilities. It deepens the audience's understanding of their emotional struggles.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his sense of humanity and dignity in the face of dehumanizing circumstances. It reflects his deeper need for connection, compassion, and a desire to hold onto his identity despite the horrors he faces.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal in this scene is to survive and navigate the brutal reality of slavery. It reflects the immediate challenge of maintaining his physical and emotional well-being in a dehumanizing environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is internal, focusing on the characters' emotional struggles rather than external forces. The tension arises from the characters' desperation and the need for connection.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the characters facing difficult and emotionally charged challenges that test their values and beliefs. The audience is left unsure of how the characters will overcome these obstacles, adding tension and complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high on an emotional level, as the characters grapple with their inner demons and search for solace in a harsh environment. The risk of losing their humanity is a central theme in the scene.

Story Forward: 6

The scene does not significantly move the main plot forward but provides important character development and emotional depth. It adds complexity to the narrative and sets the stage for future events.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected and emotionally charged moments that challenge the audience's expectations and assumptions. The characters' actions and decisions are not always predictable, adding depth and complexity to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the struggle between maintaining one's humanity and succumbing to the dehumanizing effects of slavery. It challenges Solomon's beliefs in the face of extreme adversity and tests his values and sense of self.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, regret, and empathy for the characters. The raw portrayal of human desperation resonates with the audience and leaves a lasting impression.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue in the scene is minimal but impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and inner turmoil effectively. The silence and physical actions speak volumes about the characters' state of mind.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the harsh realities of slavery, evoking a strong emotional response and highlighting the characters' internal struggles and emotional turmoil. The raw and unflinching portrayal of the characters' emotions keeps the audience invested in the narrative.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and highlighting the characters' emotional turmoil. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' struggles, creating a sense of urgency and emotional depth.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively conveying the characters' emotions and actions. The scene direction and narrative description enhance the atmosphere and mood of the scene, adding depth and authenticity to the narrative.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, effectively conveying the characters' emotions and internal struggles. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness by building tension and highlighting the characters' emotional turmoil.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the desperation and dehumanization experienced by the characters, particularly through Anna's actions and Solomon's conflicted response. However, the depiction of their sexual encounter may come across as exploitative rather than empathetic, which could alienate the audience. It's crucial to ensure that such moments are handled with sensitivity, emphasizing the emotional turmoil rather than reducing it to a mere physical act.
  • The transition from the intimate moment between Solomon and Anna to the subsequent scene where Anna is taken away feels abrupt. While this serves to heighten the sense of loss, it could benefit from a more gradual build-up to enhance the emotional impact. The audience should feel the weight of their connection before Anna's departure.
  • The use of Solomon's self-mutilation as a means of coping with his despair is a powerful visual metaphor, but it risks overshadowing the emotional resonance of his relationship with Anna. The scene could benefit from a clearer connection between his actions and his feelings about Anna's departure, reinforcing the theme of longing and loss.
  • The dialogue is minimal, which works well in conveying the oppressive atmosphere, but adding subtle exchanges or internal monologues could deepen the audience's understanding of Solomon's emotional state. This would allow viewers to connect more with his internal struggle and the weight of his circumstances.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven, particularly in the transition from the intimate encounter to the self-harm. A more deliberate pacing could enhance the emotional gravity of both moments, allowing the audience to fully absorb the significance of each action.
Suggestions
  • Consider revising the intimate encounter to focus more on the emotional connection between Solomon and Anna, rather than the physical act itself. This could involve exploring their shared trauma and the need for human connection in a more nuanced way.
  • Add a moment of reflection for Solomon after Anna is taken away, allowing him to express his feelings of helplessness and loss. This could be done through a brief internal monologue or a visual cue that emphasizes his emotional state.
  • Strengthen the connection between Solomon's self-mutilation and his feelings about Anna by incorporating a flashback or memory of her during the act. This would reinforce the theme of longing and the pain of separation.
  • Introduce subtle dialogue or non-verbal communication between Solomon and Anna that conveys their shared understanding of their plight, enhancing the emotional weight of their encounter.
  • Adjust the pacing to allow for a more gradual transition between the intimate moment and Solomon's subsequent actions. This could involve lingering on their expressions or the atmosphere before shifting to the self-harm, creating a more cohesive emotional arc.



Scene 44 - A Chance for Elevation
EXT. JUDGE TURNER'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE - EVENING
Solomon waits outside the house on the porch. As he
waits he slides his finger tips over his still freshly-
burned tattoo. A HOUSE NIGGER approaches and admonishes
Solomon.
HOUSE NIGGER
Off the porch. Get off.
Like a dog shooed away, Solomon steps down.
Eventually Judge Turner exits the house and crosses to
Solomon.
SOLOMON
...Sir...
JUDGE TURNER
Platt is it? Have you cultivated
cane previously?
SOLOMON
No, sir, I have not.
JUDGE TURNER
You take to it quite naturally.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 100.

SOLOMON
I surprise myself. I was poor for
cotton picking, and suffered the
lash on a schedule. For whatever
reason the Lord has chosen to give
me skills in the cane he has
withheld otherwise.
JUDGE TURNER
From where do you hail?
SOLOMON
Washington, sir.
JUDGE TURNER
And upon bill of sale, here you
came directly?
SOLOMON
Sir.
JUDGE TURNER
You play the fiddle?
SOLOMON
I do.
JUDGE TURNER
Where did you learn?
SOLOMON
Over time. Here and there.
JUDGE TURNER
Are you educated?
SOLOMON
Niggers are hired to work, not to
read and write.
JUDGE TURNER
Epps warned that I should mind you
above all. However, I cannot help
but take note of you. You don't
carry yourself like the other
niggers, and I sense that you have
seen more of the world than you
admit.
SOLOMON
I am just what is before you, sir.
Nothing more.
If anything Turner is impressed by Solomon's ability to
dodge.
JUDGE TURNER
What is before me is far too
clever to be relegated to the
field. You are to be elevated to
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 101.
JUDGE TURNER (CONT'D)
a driver in the sugar house.
We'll see if you take to the whip
as well as the cane. You'll board
with the other trustees.
SOLOMON
Sir.
JUDGE TURNER
And Platt, now and again I hear of
patrons in need of a good fiddler.
I will pass along your name. What
you earn is yours to keep.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary On the porch of Judge Turner's plantation, Solomon reflects on his past as he is confronted by a House Nigger who orders him off the porch. Judge Turner then engages Solomon in conversation, probing his background and skills. Despite admitting his lack of experience in cane cultivation, Solomon impresses Turner with his intelligence and musical talent. Recognizing Solomon's potential, Turner promotes him to a driver in the sugar house and offers to recommend him as a fiddler, allowing him to keep his earnings. The scene captures the tension of Solomon's status as a slave while hinting at a hopeful future.
Strengths
  • Strong character development
  • Tension-filled dialogue
  • Effective establishment of power dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Lack of significant action
  • Limited emotional depth

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively establishes the power dynamics between Solomon and Judge Turner, setting up future conflicts and character development. It also hints at Solomon's resilience and intelligence, adding depth to his character.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene revolves around Solomon's interaction with Judge Turner, highlighting themes of power, intelligence, and resilience. It sets the stage for future conflicts and character growth, making it a crucial moment in the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene focuses on Solomon's promotion and the dynamics between him and Judge Turner. It moves the story forward by introducing new challenges and opportunities for Solomon, adding layers to the overall narrative.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the realities of slavery, portraying the nuanced interactions between the characters and the internal struggles of the protagonist. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Solomon and Judge Turner, are well-developed in this scene. Solomon's intelligence and resilience shine through, while Judge Turner's curiosity and recognition of Solomon's skills add depth to his character. The interaction between them is engaging and sets the stage for future conflicts.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it sets the stage for potential growth and development for Solomon as he navigates his new role as a driver in the sugar house.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to navigate the dangerous world of slavery while maintaining his sense of self-worth and dignity. He desires to survive and protect himself while also holding onto his identity and skills.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to adapt to his new role as a driver in the sugar house and navigate the challenges that come with it, such as learning to handle the whip and interacting with other trustees.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is subtle but present, primarily revolving around the power dynamics between Solomon and Judge Turner. There is tension in their interaction, hinting at future conflicts and challenges for Solomon.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Judge Turner presenting a formidable challenge to Solomon's sense of self and identity, creating conflict and tension.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes in the scene are moderate, focusing on Solomon's promotion and the power dynamics between him and Judge Turner. While not life-threatening, the scene sets up future challenges and conflicts that will impact Solomon's journey.

Story Forward: 8

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a new setting, establishing character relationships, and hinting at future conflicts. It sets up important plot developments and challenges for Solomon, driving the narrative forward.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and the unexpected decisions made by the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the dehumanization and oppression of slavery and Solomon's inner strength and resilience. It challenges Solomon's beliefs about his own worth and the value of his skills and talents.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact, primarily driven by the tension between Solomon and Judge Turner. Solomon's resilience and intelligence evoke a sense of admiration, while Judge Turner's curiosity adds intrigue to the scene.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is formal and tense, reflecting the power dynamics between Solomon and Judge Turner. It effectively conveys the characters' personalities and motivations, driving the scene forward and engaging the audience.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense interactions between the characters, the high stakes involved, and the underlying tension and conflict that drives the narrative forward.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' fates.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and dialogue that enhance the atmosphere and tension.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict through the interactions between the characters.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and power dynamics between Solomon and Judge Turner, showcasing Solomon's intelligence and resilience in the face of oppression. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the emotional weight of their interaction. For instance, Solomon's responses could reflect a deeper internal struggle, revealing his desperation and hope for freedom while maintaining a facade of compliance.
  • The use of the term 'House Nigger' by the House Nigger character serves to highlight the internalized racism and hierarchy among enslaved individuals. However, this character's role could be expanded to provide more context about the complexities of slave relationships and the varying degrees of complicity and survival strategies within the system. This would add depth to the scene and emphasize the moral dilemmas faced by enslaved people.
  • The transition from Solomon's self-mutilation to his conversation with Judge Turner is jarring. While it symbolizes his pain and longing for his family, the connection between the two moments could be made clearer. A brief reflection or internal monologue from Solomon about his tattoo before the conversation begins could help bridge this emotional gap, allowing the audience to better understand his mindset.
  • Judge Turner's character comes across as somewhat one-dimensional in this scene. While he expresses interest in Solomon's abilities, his motivations remain unclear. Adding layers to his character—perhaps through hints of his own moral conflict regarding slavery—could create a more nuanced antagonist and elevate the stakes for Solomon.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the dialogue exchanges. Slowing down the rhythm to allow for pauses and reactions could enhance the tension and give the audience time to absorb the gravity of the situation. This would also allow for more dramatic weight in Solomon's responses, emphasizing his cleverness and the danger he faces.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal conflict for Solomon in his dialogue, allowing him to express his desperation for freedom while maintaining a facade of compliance. This could be achieved through subtle word choices or pauses that indicate his emotional turmoil.
  • Expand the role of the House Nigger character to provide more context about the complexities of slave relationships. This could involve a brief exchange that highlights the moral dilemmas faced by enslaved individuals, adding depth to the scene.
  • Include a moment of reflection for Solomon regarding his tattoo before the conversation with Judge Turner begins. This could be a brief internal monologue that connects his pain to his current situation, enhancing the emotional resonance of the scene.
  • Develop Judge Turner's character further by hinting at his own moral conflicts regarding slavery. This could be done through his dialogue or actions, making him a more complex antagonist and raising the stakes for Solomon.
  • Slow down the pacing of the dialogue exchanges to allow for more dramatic pauses and reactions. This would enhance the tension and give the audience time to absorb the gravity of the situation, making Solomon's cleverness and the danger he faces more impactful.



Scene 45 - The Weight of Authority
INT. JUDGE TURNER'S PLANTATION/SUGAR HOUSE - DAY
The mill is an "immense brick building" where the cane is
refined. There is much machinery: boilers, an endless
carrier made of chain and wood... The sugar house is
worked by ADULT SLAVES AND CHILDREN ALIKE.
A BLACK DRIVER hands Solomon a lash. Though well
familiar with being on the receiving end of the whip,
Solomon is unsure of how to handle the business end.
SOLOMON
How do I use it?
DRIVER
It's a lash. Easy as usin' a door
knob. 'Cept wit a lash people pay
ya mind.

INT. JUDGE TURNER'S PLANTATION/SUGAR HOUSE - LATER
SLAVES working, toiling. Solomon watches over them, but
does little else. The OVERSEER, not satisfied with the
work being done, calls to Solomon.
SUGAR HOUSE OVERSEER
Drive them niggers!
SOLOMON USES THE LASH SPARINGLY AND POORLY, barely
touching the slaves before him. The Overseer does not
hesitate in using the lash on Solomon.
SUGAR HOUSE OVERSEER (CONT'D)
Drive them niggers.
Solomon uses the lash again, but this time with more
authority. What choice does he have?

EXT. TURNER PLANTATION - LATER
Work over, the slaves congregate to eat.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 102.

As Solomon eats, he takes note of the JUICE FROM SOME
BERRIES ON HIS PLATE.

EXT. JUDGE TURNER'S PLANTATION - EVENING
We see a DUCK making its way along a water bank. Moving
quickly, Solomon LEAPS INTO FRAME and pounces on it. The
bird in grasp, Solomon pulls a feather loose.

EXT. TURNER PLANTATION - NIGHT
Secreted away out near the edge of the bayou and sitting
by a small fire, Solomon takes the slip of paper from his
fiddle. It is yellowed, showing age, but still usable.
Dipping the duck's feather - a quill - into the crushed
berries, Solomon attempts to write a bit on the paper.
The berry juice, too free-flowing, is unusable as ink.
Solomon returns the paper to the fiddle. He has some
scraps of food with him, which he snacks on.

INT. YARNEY'S HOUSE - EVENING
A party has commenced at the noble home of one MR.
YARNEY. A group of REVELERS have gathered and are on the
dance floor. As entertainment, SOLOMON PLAYS THE FIDDLE,
and does so with his usual liveliness. Clearly a good
time is being had by all.

INT. YARNEY'S HOUSE/STUDY - LATER
Gay voices filter from the main room as off in a study
stand Solomon and Yarney. A very pleased Mr. Yarney is
presenting Solomon with 17 dollars in coins.
YARNEY
I have never seen it before; merry
makers so pleased with a
performance they take up a
contribution. Seventeen dollars,
Platt. I'd say that'd make you a
millionaire among niggers.
Certainly the wealthiest on the
Bayou. And how will you spend it?
Furniture for your cabin, a pocket
knife, perhaps. A coat, hat?
Some smart new shoes.
SOLOMON
I cannot say. I am too amazed by
the amount.
YARNEY
Seventeen dollars. The world is
yours.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 103.

EXT. ROAD - EVENING
Solomon is returning to Judge Turner's on foot. There is
only the moonlight with which to light his way. As he
travels, Solomon hears steps behind him. He turns and
sees TWO BLACKS. Solomon relaxes. Fellow blacks; surely
they mean him no harm. As Solomon looks them over
carefully - their clothes tatters and they themselves
covered in dirt - it becomes quite clear they are not
just slaves. A fact confirmed when they step menacingly
toward Solomon, ONE WITH A SHIV IN HAND.
At first it seems they want his money. Worse, THEY GO
FOR HIS FIDDLE.
Solomon has but a moment to brace himself before he is
attacked, TAKING A CUT TO THE ARM. Solomon fights back,
picking up a pine knot and striking his attacker over the
head. That takes the fight out of him, and both men
retreat back the way they came leaving Solomon be.

INT. JUDGE TURNER'S PLANTATION/SUGAR HOUSE - DAY
Solomon is again driving slaves, using the whip to spur
them to work harder. He does so with perhaps a bit more
vigor; his displaced anger directed at the slaves before
him.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In this tense scene, Solomon grapples with his new role as an overseer at Judge Turner's plantation, struggling with the moral implications of using a lash on fellow slaves. Under pressure from the Black driver and the Sugar House Overseer, he initially uses the whip sparingly but eventually succumbs to the demands for greater authority, reflecting his internal conflict. After a brief moment of creativity and recognition at a party hosted by Mr. Yarney, Solomon faces a violent encounter on his way back, further complicating his emotional state. The scene concludes with Solomon returning to the sugar house, now wielding the whip with increased anger, marking a significant shift in his character.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Powerful performances
  • Effective portrayal of power dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Potential for graphic violence
  • Lack of resolution in the scene

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the harsh realities of slavery, the internal turmoil of the protagonist, and the power dynamics at play. It is emotionally charged and impactful.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring Solomon's transition into a position of authority within the oppressive system of slavery is compelling and thought-provoking.

Plot: 8.5

The plot progression in the scene is significant, as it marks a turning point for Solomon's character and sets up future conflicts and developments.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the brutality of slavery, with unique details like Solomon using berry juice as ink and his encounter with fellow blacks turned attackers.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters, especially Solomon, are well-developed and their internal struggles are effectively portrayed. The dynamics between the characters add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Solomon undergoes a significant change as he grapples with his new role of authority, showcasing his internal conflict and moral dilemma.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to navigate the moral dilemma of using the lash on other slaves. He struggles with the conflicting emotions of powerlessness and guilt.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to survive and adapt to the brutal conditions of slavery. He must learn to use the lash effectively to avoid punishment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The level of conflict is high, with internal and external conflicts driving the scene forward and adding tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Solomon facing physical threats and moral dilemmas that challenge his survival and integrity.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Solomon navigates his new position of authority while facing internal and external challenges within the oppressive system of slavery.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by establishing new challenges and conflicts for the protagonist, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 8

The scene is unpredictable with the sudden attack on Solomon by fellow blacks, adding a layer of tension and uncertainty.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between Solomon's innate sense of morality and the brutal reality of slavery. He must reconcile his beliefs with the necessity of violence to survive.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, anger, and fear, drawing the audience into the harsh reality of Solomon's situation.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue serves the scene well, conveying the power dynamics, emotions, and conflicts effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to its intense conflict, emotional depth, and the audience's investment in Solomon's journey.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional impact, keeping the audience engaged and invested in Solomon's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene headings and descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure, moving from Solomon's internal conflict to external challenges, building tension effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures Solomon's internal conflict as he transitions from being a victim of violence to an enforcer of it. This moral struggle is a powerful element that could be further emphasized through Solomon's internal monologue or visual cues that reflect his emotional turmoil.
  • The dialogue is functional but lacks depth. The exchange between Solomon and the Black driver could be expanded to include more emotional weight, perhaps reflecting on the shared trauma of their experiences. This would enhance the connection between characters and provide a more profound commentary on the nature of power and complicity in the system of slavery.
  • The pacing of the scene feels rushed, particularly in the transition from Solomon's initial hesitance with the lash to his more aggressive use of it. A more gradual escalation of his authority could heighten the tension and better illustrate his moral descent.
  • The visual elements, such as the description of the sugar house and the machinery, are vivid but could be used more symbolically. For instance, the machinery could represent the dehumanizing nature of slavery, and Solomon's actions could be juxtaposed against the relentless operation of the sugar house to emphasize his internal conflict.
  • The ending of the scene, where Solomon drives the slaves with more vigor, feels abrupt. It would benefit from a moment of reflection or a visual cue that shows the weight of his actions on his conscience, reinforcing the theme of moral compromise.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue for Solomon as he grapples with the lash, allowing the audience to hear his thoughts and feelings about the situation. This would deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Expand the dialogue between Solomon and the Black driver to include reflections on their shared experiences as enslaved individuals. This could create a stronger bond between them and highlight the complexities of their roles within the system.
  • Slow down the pacing of the scene to allow for a more gradual transition in Solomon's character. Show his reluctance and the emotional toll of using the lash before he fully embraces the role of an overseer.
  • Incorporate more symbolic visuals that reflect Solomon's internal struggle. For example, show the machinery of the sugar house as a metaphor for the dehumanization of the slaves, contrasting it with Solomon's humanity.
  • End the scene with a moment of introspection for Solomon, perhaps showing him looking at the slaves he is driving with a mix of anger and sorrow, reinforcing the theme of moral conflict and the heavy burden of his actions.



Scene 46 - A Night of Desperation and Hope
EXT. TURNER PLANTATION - NIGHT
Alone out on the edge of the Bayou, Solomon is playing a
low air on his violin WHILE SNACKING ON SCRAPS OF BACON.
As he plays, something appears in the distance. From the
edge of the bayou, coming forth like an apparition arisen
from the earth, is CELESTE. She is a young woman of
about 19 years of age and far whiter than most blacks.
"IT REQUIRED CLOSE INSPECTION TO DISTINGUISH IN HER
FEATURE THE SLIGHTEST TRACE OF AFRICAN BLOOD." Beyond
that, she is pale and haggard, but still lovely.
Celeste moves to Solomon without fear or hesitation. As
Solomon, startled, takes her in, Celeste says quite
plainly:
CELESTE
I am hungry. Give me food.
SOLOMON
Who are you?
CELESTE
I'm hungry.
SOLOMON
All I have are some scraps of
bacon.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 104.

Solomon gives her some of his food. Celeste, famished,
devours it.
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
What is your name?
CELESTE
My name is Celeste.
SOLOMON
What are your circumstances?
CELESTE
I belong ta Massa Carey, and 'ave
been two days among da palmettoes.
Celeste is sick and cain't work,
and would rather die in the swamp
than be whipped to death by the
overseer. So I took myself away.
Massa's dogs won't follow me. The
patrollers 'ave tried to set dem
on me. But dey a secret between
dem and Celeste, and dey won't
mind the devilish orders of the
overseer.
Celeste lifts her head from the food she gnaws on.
CELESTE (CONT'D)
Do you believe me?
SOLOMON
Yes.
CELESTE
Why?
SOLOMON
There are some whose tracks the
hounds will refuse to follow.
CELESTE
Give me more food. I'm starvin'.
SOLOMON
This is all my allowance for the
rest of--
CELESTE
Give it to me.
Almost as if compelled, Solomon does as ordered. As she
eats, Celeste aggrandizes herself:
CELESTE (CONT'D)
Most slaves escape at night. The
overseers are alert for such
chicanes. But Celeste tricked dem
'n alight in the middle of the day
wit the sun up at its highest.
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 105.
CELESTE (CONT'D)
The place of my concealment now
deep in the swamp, not half a mile
from Massa's plantation, and a
world apart. A world a tall
trees whose long arms make fo' a
canopy so dense dey keep away even
the beams of the sun. It twilight
always in Celeste's world, even in
the brightest day. I will live
there, and I will live freely.
The overseers are a cowardly lot.
Dey will not go where their dogs
show fear and where it always be
night. Others will join me, in
the twilight and we ain't gunna be
slaves no 'mo forever.
Solomon isn't sure what to say. Before he can say
anything:
CELESTE (CONT'D)
Celeste will come to you again in
the night. You will have food for
her.
Celeste departs the way she came; as though she were a
vision.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a tense yet hopeful scene at the Turner Plantation, Solomon, alone and playing his violin, encounters Celeste, a young woman who has escaped from Massa Carey. Starving and hiding from the overseer, Celeste boldly demands food from Solomon, sharing her story of resilience and her plan to live freely in the swamp. Despite his initial hesitation, Solomon shares his meager food allowance with her, showcasing the conflict between his own needs and her desperation. As Celeste devours the food, she promises to return for more before vanishing into the darkness, leaving a lingering sense of hope amidst their dire circumstances.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Intriguing new character introduction
Weaknesses
  • Limited action
  • Lack of resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys a mix of desperation, hope, and defiance through the interaction between Solomon and Celeste, highlighting the harsh realities of slavery and the yearning for freedom.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of introducing a character like Celeste, who represents a glimmer of hope and resistance in the darkness of slavery, adds depth and complexity to the narrative.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in this scene focuses on the introduction of Celeste and hints at potential developments related to escape and resistance, adding layers to the overall story.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh perspective on the theme of escape and resistance within the context of slavery. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to the historical setting.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Solomon and Celeste are well-developed in this scene, showcasing their contrasting experiences and desires within the oppressive plantation system.

Character Changes: 8

While there is no significant character change in this scene, it sets the stage for potential transformations and developments in the characters' journeys.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to show compassion and empathy towards Celeste, a fellow enslaved individual, despite his own circumstances. This reflects his deeper desire for freedom and justice.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to survive and navigate the dangerous world of slavery while maintaining his humanity and dignity.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in this scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on the struggle for freedom and the oppressive nature of slavery.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Celeste's defiance and determination posing a significant challenge to Solomon's beliefs and actions.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high for Celeste as she seeks freedom from the oppressive plantation system, facing the risk of punishment and retribution.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing a new character and hinting at future plot developments related to escape and resistance.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected actions and revelations of the characters, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of freedom, survival, and resistance against oppression. Celeste's defiance and determination challenge the protagonist's beliefs about the possibility of escape and resistance within the confines of slavery.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of empathy, hope, and despair, drawing the audience into the characters' struggles and desires.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the desperation and determination of Celeste, adding depth to her character and highlighting the harsh realities faced by slaves.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional stakes, dynamic character interactions, and thematic depth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, drawing the audience into the characters' emotional journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dramatic interaction between characters, building tension and conflict effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the desperation and hunger of Celeste, which is a powerful reflection of the broader themes of survival and the human spirit in the face of oppression. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to convey the emotional weight of their circumstances. For instance, instead of Celeste simply stating her hunger, she could express her fear or desperation in a more nuanced way, which would deepen the audience's connection to her plight.
  • The character of Celeste is introduced as a mysterious figure, but her motivations and backstory could be fleshed out further. While her escape from Massa Carey is mentioned, the scene could explore her emotional state more deeply, perhaps through her body language or internal thoughts, to create a stronger bond between her and Solomon.
  • The dialogue between Solomon and Celeste feels somewhat expository at times, particularly when Celeste explains her circumstances. This could be streamlined to maintain the scene's pacing and keep the audience engaged. Instead of lengthy explanations, consider using more action or visual storytelling to convey the same information.
  • The visual imagery of Celeste appearing like an apparition is compelling, but the scene could benefit from more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere. Describing the sounds of the bayou, the feel of the night air, or the sights around them could create a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • The ending of the scene, where Celeste departs like a vision, is poetic but may leave the audience wanting more clarity about her future. It might be beneficial to hint at the consequences of her escape or the dangers she faces, which would add tension and stakes to her character's journey.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal conflict for Solomon as he interacts with Celeste. This could involve his own feelings of guilt or helplessness in the face of her desperation, which would enrich his character development.
  • Incorporate more sensory details to enhance the setting and mood. Describing the sounds of the bayou, the rustling of leaves, or the coolness of the night air can create a more vivid atmosphere.
  • Streamline the dialogue to avoid excessive exposition. Instead of having Celeste explain her situation in detail, show her desperation through her actions and expressions, allowing the audience to infer her circumstances.
  • Explore Celeste's character further by including subtle hints about her emotional state or past experiences. This could be done through her body language or brief flashbacks that provide context without disrupting the flow of the scene.
  • Consider adding a moment of hesitation or internal struggle for Solomon before he gives Celeste the food. This could highlight his own conflict between self-preservation and compassion, making the moment more impactful.



Scene 47 - A Midnight Exchange
EXT. JUDGE TURNER'S PLANTATION/FOOD STORAGE - NIGHT
Solomon stealthfully makes his way into the storage shed.
Dried and smoked meats are hung, and milled corn is
about. Taking out a handkerchief, Solomon begins to load
it with food. Not too much. Not so much his thievery
will be readily noticed, but he does avail himself.

EXT. TURNER PLANTATION - NIGHT
Solomon plays his violin, but plays it with an anxious
nature as he waits.
Then, as before, a figure appears in the distance. It is
Celeste coming out of the night. She makes her way
directly to Solomon. With no greeting, she asks:
CELESTE
I am hungry.
Solomon gives Celeste the handkerchief he's filled. She
opens it, and begins to devour the food. As she eats,
she asks:
CELESTE (CONT'D)
I was rude, and didn't even ask yo
name.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 106.

SOLOMON
Platt.
(beat)
Solomon. Solomon is my true name.
CELESTE
Was you free?
SOLOMON
I was. I am.
Solomon exposes his wrist, displays his tattoo as he
announces:
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
I remain free in my heart.
Giving a laugh as though it's the silliest thing she's
heard.
CELESTE
Free heart means nothin if'n yo
body gunna die a slave.
SOLOMON
I will not.
CELESTE
Celeste knows you ain't gunna run.
Celeste knows it ain't your
nature.
SOLOMON
I have other plans.
Celeste gives a look. She is curious to hear more.
Solomon, both conspiratorially and accentuating what he
considers to be his own cleverness:
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
I have secreted a piece of paper.
Just a slip of foolscrap. I have
kept it safe and dry for years on.
Nearly relinquished my life
protecting it. I am experimenting
with ways to create ink. When
that is accomplished I will write
a letter.
CELESTE
A letter to...?
SOLOMON
There are those in New York of
much substance who will spare no
energy to secure my liberty. Once
I have the letter to them, it is
only a matter of time before I am
free.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 107.

CELESTE
How'll ya mail da letter? Who
will trust to post it? A nigger
that can read and write is a
nigger that'll hang.
Solomon can't answer this question. It is the glaring
hole in his plan.
CELESTE (CONT'D)
No. Solomon will never again see
New York. Celeste's words is
harsh, I know, but dey true. I
entreat yah to come live wit me in
the constant twilight. I entreat
yah for your body to not die no
slave.
Having finished eating:
CELESTE (CONT'D)
Celeste will come again in de
night. You will bring her 'mo
food.
SOLOMON
I risk discovery to take more.
CELESTE
You will bring Celeste 'mo food.
And with that Celeste again moves back into the darkness.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the darkness of Judge Turner's plantation, Solomon stealthily fills a handkerchief with food in the storage shed, anxiously playing his violin as he waits for Celeste. When she arrives, she expresses her hunger, and they discuss Solomon's past freedom and his risky plan to write a letter for his liberty. Celeste warns him about the dangers of being literate and suggests he should prioritize safety over ambition. The scene ends with her insisting that Solomon must bring her more food in the future, highlighting their ongoing struggle for survival.
Strengths
  • Poignant dialogue
  • Character depth
  • Emotional resonance
Weaknesses
  • Lack of external conflict
  • Limited action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the characters' desperation and determination to survive and find freedom. The dialogue is poignant and reveals the inner struggles of the characters, setting up a compelling narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of survival and freedom in the face of slavery is central to the scene, with Solomon and Celeste representing different approaches to coping with their situation. The scene explores themes of hope, resilience, and sacrifice.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Solomon's secret plan for freedom and Celeste's alternative proposal for survival. The scene sets up potential conflicts and character development for future events.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the theme of slavery, portraying the characters' complex emotions and conflicting desires with authenticity. The dialogue feels genuine and impactful, contributing to the scene's originality.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Solomon and Celeste are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions reveal depth and complexity, adding layers to the narrative.

Character Changes: 8

Both Solomon and Celeste undergo subtle changes in the scene, with Solomon revealing his secret plan and Celeste offering an alternative perspective on survival. Their interactions hint at potential growth and transformation in future events.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his sense of freedom and dignity despite his enslaved status. This reflects his deeper need for autonomy and self-respect.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to secure his freedom by sending a letter to allies in New York. This reflects the immediate challenge he faces in escaping slavery.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on the characters' struggles with their circumstances and choices. While there is tension and stakes, the conflict is primarily driven by the characters' internal dilemmas.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Celeste challenging Solomon's beliefs and plans, creating a compelling conflict that drives the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes in the scene are high in terms of the characters' survival and freedom. Solomon's secret plan and Celeste's alternative path represent crucial decisions that could impact their fates.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new elements to the narrative, such as Solomon's secret plan and Celeste's alternative proposal. These developments set the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turn of events and Celeste's challenging of Solomon's plans, creating tension and uncertainty for the characters' fates.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the hope for freedom and the harsh reality of slavery. Celeste challenges Solomon's belief in his plan for liberation, highlighting the brutal consequences of being a literate slave.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, portraying the characters' desperation and hope in the face of adversity. The poignant moments between Solomon and Celeste resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue in the scene is impactful, conveying the characters' emotions, fears, and hopes. The conversations between Solomon and Celeste drive the scene forward and reveal important aspects of their characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, moral dilemmas, and the characters' compelling interactions. The dialogue and actions keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, maintaining a steady rhythm that enhances the emotional impact of the characters' interactions.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, facilitating a clear and engaging reading experience.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and developing the characters' motivations and conflicts.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the tension and desperation of Solomon's situation, as well as the bond he shares with Celeste. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the emotional weight of their interaction. For instance, while Celeste's warning about the dangers of literacy is poignant, it could be deepened by exploring her own experiences or fears, making her character more relatable and layered.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly uneven. The transition from Solomon's anxious waiting to the arrival of Celeste could be more fluid. Consider adding a moment of heightened tension or a brief internal monologue from Solomon as he waits, which would build anticipation and emphasize his anxiety.
  • While the dialogue is functional, it sometimes feels expository. For example, when Solomon explains his plan to write a letter, it comes off as a bit too straightforward. Instead, consider showing his determination through actions or more subtle hints rather than direct exposition. This would allow the audience to infer his resolve without being told explicitly.
  • The visual imagery of the food storage and the act of Solomon stealthily gathering food is strong, but it could be enhanced by incorporating more sensory details. Describing the smells, textures, and sounds of the environment could immerse the audience further into the scene, making it more vivid and engaging.
  • Celeste's character is intriguing, but her motivations could be more clearly defined. While she expresses a desire for Solomon to join her in the swamp, it would be beneficial to explore her backstory or her own struggles with slavery. This would create a more compelling dynamic between her and Solomon, as they both navigate their harsh realities.
Suggestions
  • Add more subtext to the dialogue, allowing characters to express their emotions and fears indirectly, which can create a richer interaction.
  • Incorporate a moment of internal conflict for Solomon as he waits for Celeste, perhaps reflecting on his past or the risks he faces, to build tension.
  • Show Solomon's determination through actions or subtle hints rather than direct exposition about his plan to write a letter, allowing the audience to infer his resolve.
  • Enhance the sensory details in the scene to create a more immersive experience, describing the environment's smells, textures, and sounds.
  • Develop Celeste's character further by providing more context about her background and motivations, which would deepen the emotional connection between her and Solomon.



Scene 48 - A Test of Loyalty
INT. TURNER PLANTATION/SUGAR HOUSE - DAY
Solomon is at his station driving slaves. A WHITE FIELD
OVERSEER approaches, his countenance quite stern.
FIELD OVERSEER
Platt. Come along.
Solomon fears his thievery has been discovered. He
begins to remove his whip.
FIELD OVERSEER (CONT'D)
Naw. Bring yer whip.
Solomon follows the Overseer from the Sugar House.

EXT. TURNER PLANTATION - MOMENTS LATER
Solomon is walked out to the field. The two slaves who
previously attacked Solomon in the night are present.
Both are bound and muzzled strictly and look to have
already been thoroughly beaten. There, too, is Judge
Turner along with a couple of WHITE PATROLLERS and
several NATIVE AMERICANS who have captured the runaways.
There is one among the group who is of MIXED RACE, black
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 108.

and Native American. Though his skin is fairer as would
be a Native American, HIS HAIR HAS THE KINK OF AN AFRO.
The Judge asks of Solomon:
JUDGE TURNER
Do you recognize them, Platt? Are
these the pair who accosted you?
Solomon stares, but does not dare answer.
JUDGE TURNER (CONT'D)
Runaways from a plantation in the
vicinity of Lamourie. Hidden away
for three weeks. The Bayou is
full with them. Look carefully.
Are they those who meant to take
your life?
SOLOMON
I don't know their intent.
JUDGE TURNER
What else could it be? Beyond
their hunger and desperation,
their heads are filled to the
point of lunacy with mythic idyll
of life in the north. Nothing
good will ever come of a nigger in
flight.
SOLOMON
I cannot say what plans they held
for me.
JUDGE TURNER
But these are the two, then?
SOLOMON
I am uncertain.
JUDGE TURNER
You may have your satisfaction
with them. You deserve as much
and they deserve no better.
SOLOMON
Master, I am uncertain.
JUDGE TURNER
Look. Look careful.
Solomon does, but does not reply.
JUDGE TURNER (CONT'D)
Even to you the features of your
own kind are indistinguishable.
The eyes. Subdued, and their eyes
still burn. Is their hate
familiar to you? Is it the hate
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 109.
JUDGE TURNER (CONT'D)
that came at you in the night?
Have your way with them, Platt.
Solomon does not move for his whip. He says as
convincingly as possible.
SOLOMON
They are not the ones.
Turner may not quite believe Solomon, but he does not
speak against him. The Judge to the Patrollers:
JUDGE TURNER
Return them to Lamourie, but strip
them bare and parade them in the
streets. Make a show of it. A
reminder to all the price of
flight is of no bad consequence.
Back to work, Platt.
Solomon watches at the slaves are stripped of the
remainder of their clothing and are dragged away.
JUDGE TURNER (CONT'D)
No worries, Platt. We'll have
your niggers soon enough.

BLACK

EXT. TURNER PLANTATION - EVENING
Solomon is picking at the bark of a white maple.

EXT. TURNER PLANTATION - EVENING
In a tin cup, over a fire, Solomon boils the white maple
bark in just a bit of water.

INT. JUDGE TURNER'S PLANTATION/SLAVES CABIN - NIGHT
As others sleep, by the light of dying coals, Solomon
uses the quill to test the boiled bark. The liquid holds
as a form of ink. It is not ideal, but it is legible on
the page. Armed with this, Solomon writes his letter.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a tense confrontation at the Turner Plantation, Solomon is pressured by Judge Turner and a stern overseer to identify two beaten slaves who attacked the overseer. Despite the threat of punishment for the slaves, Solomon refuses to betray them, highlighting his moral struggle. The judge orders the slaves to be punished regardless, while Solomon watches helplessly. The scene shifts to Solomon later boiling white maple bark to create ink, symbolizing his hope and desire for freedom as he writes a letter.
Strengths
  • Strong character dynamics
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Effective pacing
Weaknesses
  • Limited dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted, with a strong focus on character dynamics and tension. It effectively conveys the power dynamics at play and sets the stage for future conflicts and developments.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, focusing on identity and loyalty in a slave society, is compelling and well-developed. It adds depth to the characters and drives the narrative forward.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is crucial in establishing the power dynamics and conflicts that will shape future events. It moves the story forward and sets up important character arcs.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the depiction of slavery, focusing on the internal struggles and moral dilemmas faced by the characters. The dialogue feels authentic and the actions are grounded in historical context.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-defined, with complex motivations and relationships. Solomon's internal struggle and Judge Turner's authority are effectively portrayed, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Solomon undergoes a subtle but significant change in the scene, as he navigates his loyalty and sense of self in the face of external pressures. This sets the stage for future character development.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to protect himself and navigate the dangerous situation he finds himself in. His fear of being discovered for his thievery drives his actions and decisions.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to avoid punishment and maintain his survival on the plantation. He must navigate the Judge's suspicions and make decisions that will keep him safe.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is high, with tensions running high between Solomon and Judge Turner. The power struggle and moral dilemmas add depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Solomon facing the Judge's suspicions and the threat of punishment. The audience is kept on edge as they wait to see how Solomon will navigate the situation.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene, as Solomon faces a test of loyalty and identity that could have significant consequences for his future. The power dynamics at play add to the tension.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by establishing key conflicts and character dynamics that will shape future events. It sets up important plot points and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because the audience is unsure of how Solomon will navigate the Judge's suspicions and the consequences of his decisions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the dehumanization of slaves and the Judge's belief in the inherent inferiority of black people. This challenges Solomon's beliefs in his own worth and humanity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly fear and uncertainty, as Solomon grapples with his identity and loyalty. The stakes are high, adding to the emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue is tense and impactful, revealing the power dynamics between Solomon and Judge Turner. It effectively conveys the characters' emotions and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of suspense and conflict, drawing the audience into Solomon's dilemma and the power dynamics at play.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict and resolution.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, with proper scene headings and descriptions of actions and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a historical drama, with clear transitions between locations and a focus on character interactions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension through Solomon's internal conflict as he grapples with the moral implications of identifying the two beaten slaves. This conflict is crucial as it highlights Solomon's humanity and the oppressive environment he is trapped in. However, the dialogue could be more dynamic; it often feels expository and could benefit from more subtext or emotional weight to enhance the stakes.
  • The characterization of Judge Turner is strong, showcasing his authority and the brutal reality of slavery. However, the scene could delve deeper into Solomon's emotional state. While he expresses uncertainty, the audience could benefit from more insight into his thoughts and feelings, perhaps through internal monologue or more expressive body language.
  • The visual elements are compelling, particularly the imagery of the beaten slaves and the power dynamics at play. However, the transition from the field to the cabin feels abrupt. A smoother transition could help maintain the emotional flow of the scene and reinforce the weight of Solomon's actions.
  • The ending of the scene, where Solomon begins to write his letter, is a powerful moment of hope amidst despair. However, it could be enhanced by showing more of Solomon's thought process as he writes. This would allow the audience to connect more deeply with his desire for freedom and the risks involved in his actions.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal dialogue or visual cues to express Solomon's emotional turmoil during the confrontation with Judge Turner. This could help the audience empathize with his struggle.
  • Enhance the dialogue between Solomon and Judge Turner by incorporating more tension and subtext. For example, Solomon could use evasive language that hints at his true feelings without directly stating them.
  • Smooth out the transition between the field and the cabin by including a brief moment that reflects Solomon's thoughts or feelings as he moves from one setting to another, reinforcing the emotional weight of the scene.
  • When Solomon begins to write his letter, consider including a brief flashback or memory that motivates his desire for freedom. This could deepen the emotional impact of the moment and connect his past with his present struggle.



Scene 49 - A Choice in the Darkness
EXT. TURNER PLANTATION - NIGHT
Solomon sits with Celeste. He relates his news to her.
SOLOMON
I have my letter. I succeeded in
making ink by boiling white maple
bark. When all were asleep in the
cabin, by the light of the coals,
lying upon my plank couch I
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 110.
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
managed to complete a somewhat
lengthy epistle. The letter is
directed to an old acquaintance at
Sandy Hill stating my condition
and urging him to take measures to
restore me to liberty.
CELESTE
Yah has your freedom then?
SOLOMON
All that remains is to contrive
measures by which the letter can
safely be deposited in the post
office.
When Celeste speaks she is quite melancholy.
CELESTE
I have resolved to return to my
Massa.
Solomon gives an unnerved look. This is not good news.
SOLOMON
Is it more food you need?
CELESTE
I live in fear.
SOLOMON
None will come after you in the
swamps.
CELESTE
It ain't the patrollers I scared
of... At all seasons the howling
of wild animals can be heard at
night along the border of the
swamps. At first their calls were
welcomin'. Dey too was free, 'n I
thought dey greeted me like a
sistah. Lately, dey cries have
turned horrifyin'.
SOLOMON
The solitude plays tricks. It's
your impression, nothing more.
CELESTE
Several times now they made me a
midnight call, awakening me from
what little sleep I take wit a
terrifyin' growl. They mean to
kill Celeste.
SOLOMON
If you go back to your master you
face the same.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 111.

CELESTE
My freedom been nothin' but a
daydream. So was Celeste's
thoughts of slaves conjoinin' in
the bayou. It is lonely dwellin'
waiting for others who won't never
come.
SOLOMON
Better the loneliness. You have
been free most of the summer.
Return now and your master will
make example of you. Celeste, go
north. Make your way by night...
CELESTE
It'll only be worse if'n Celeste
don't go back of her own will.
SOLOMON
You won't be caught. The dogs
won't track you. You are...you
are unique. Please, Celeste...
Celeste considers this. But her course of action is
clear:
CELESTE
You got alternatives, Solomon.
Celeste got no one to write a
letter to.
As if to punctuate her resolve, without a word more
Celeste departs toward the swamp.
SOLOMON
Celeste... Celeste!
She continues on and disappears into the night. Solomon
will never see her again.

BLACK
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a somber scene at the Turner Plantation, Solomon shares his success in making ink and writing a letter for his freedom with Celeste. Despite his encouragement to embrace her newfound freedom, Celeste reveals her fears of the wild and her loneliness, ultimately deciding to return to her master. As she disappears into the night, Solomon's pleas go unanswered, marking a poignant separation.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Character development
  • Tension building
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Lack of external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight and desperation of the characters, particularly Celeste, through their dialogue and actions. The tension and sense of hopelessness are palpable, drawing the audience into the harsh reality of the characters' lives.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the internal conflict and difficult choices faced by the slaves, particularly Celeste, is well-developed and effectively communicated. The scene delves into the emotional and psychological impact of slavery on individuals.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Celeste's decision to return to her master despite her desire for freedom, highlighting the limited options and constant fear faced by the slaves. The emotional depth and character dynamics drive the plot forward effectively.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the struggles of enslaved individuals, with unique character dynamics and a compelling exploration of the internal conflicts faced by the protagonists.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly Celeste and Solomon, are well-developed and portrayed with depth and complexity. Their emotional struggles and conflicting desires are central to the scene, drawing the audience into their experiences.

Character Changes: 8

Celeste undergoes a significant internal change in the scene, grappling with her desire for freedom and the harsh reality of her situation. Her decision to return to her master reflects the internal conflict and difficult choices faced by the slaves.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to convince Celeste to choose freedom over returning to her master, reflecting his desire to help others escape the horrors of slavery and his own fear of being caught and punished.

External Goal: 7.5

Solomon's external goal is to ensure Celeste's safety and convince her to escape to the north, reflecting the immediate challenge of protecting her from harm and helping her find freedom.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, focusing on Celeste's decision to return to her master despite her desire for freedom. The emotional and psychological conflict drives the narrative forward and adds depth to the characters.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Celeste's internal struggle and the external threats she faces creating a compelling conflict that keeps the audience engaged.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as Celeste grapples with the decision to return to her master, facing the prospect of continued oppression and mistreatment. The emotional and psychological stakes are heightened, adding tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by delving into the emotional and psychological struggles of the characters, particularly Celeste. It adds depth to the narrative by exploring the internal conflicts and difficult choices faced by the slaves.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected choices made by the characters and the tension between their conflicting desires.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the desire for freedom and the fear of punishment, as Celeste struggles with the idea of returning to her master for safety versus risking her life for freedom.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, fear, and empathy for the characters, particularly Celeste. The sense of hopelessness and desperation is palpable, drawing the audience into the characters' emotional struggles.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and internal conflict of the characters, particularly Celeste and Solomon. The conversations reveal their fears, hopes, and difficult decisions, adding depth to their characterization.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, emotional conflict, and the suspenseful decision-making process of the characters.

Pacing: 8.5

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict and emotional intensity.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for dramatic dialogue scenes, with clear character goals, conflict, and resolution.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the emotional weight of Solomon's situation and his conversation with Celeste, highlighting the contrasting perspectives on freedom. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to deepen the emotional stakes. For instance, Celeste's fear of the wild animals could be used as a metaphor for her fear of returning to slavery, which would add layers to her character.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly rushed, particularly in the dialogue exchanges. Allowing for more pauses or moments of silence could enhance the tension and give the audience time to absorb the gravity of their conversation. This would also emphasize the weight of Celeste's decision to return to her master.
  • While the dialogue is generally strong, some lines feel overly expository, particularly when Solomon explains the letter's purpose. Instead of stating that he is urging his acquaintance to restore him to liberty, consider showing his desperation through his tone and body language, allowing the audience to infer the stakes without explicit explanation.
  • The visual elements of the scene could be more vividly described to enhance the atmosphere. For example, the eerie setting of the swamp at night could be used to create a more palpable sense of danger and isolation, reflecting Celeste's fears and Solomon's desperation.
  • The emotional climax of the scene, where Celeste decides to return to her master, could be more impactful. Consider building up to this moment with more internal conflict from Celeste, perhaps through flashbacks or memories that illustrate her past experiences with her master, making her decision feel more tragic.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate more subtext in the dialogue to convey deeper emotions and motivations, allowing the audience to read between the lines.
  • Slow down the pacing by adding pauses or moments of silence to heighten tension and allow the audience to process the emotional weight of the conversation.
  • Show Solomon's desperation through his actions and expressions rather than relying on exposition about the letter's purpose.
  • Enhance the visual descriptions of the setting to create a more immersive atmosphere that reflects the characters' emotional states.
  • Build up to Celeste's decision with more internal conflict, possibly through flashbacks or memories, to make her choice feel more poignant and tragic.



Scene 50 - Harvest of Suffering
EXT. EPPS'S PLANTATION - DAY
We come up now outside of Master Epps's plantation. Epps
stands in the drive. He's in surprisingly good spirits
as Solomon - AGED SEVERAL YEARS NOW - Wiley and Bob
trudge their way toward Epps and his other slaves who are
gathered.
The cotton field is in full bloom, the crop fully
returned.
EPPS
A joyous day. A joyous day. Dark
times is behind us. Clean livin'
'n prayer done lifted the plague.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 112.

Indicating to the cotton:
EPPS (CONT'D)
As thick 'n white as New England
snow. 'N now my niggers is
returned to me.
(to Solomon)
Heard Judge Turner made you a
driver. A driver? Oh, did you
beguile him, Platt, with your
slick nigger ways? Well, yah
won't stand idle with a lash in
hand. Not on my land. Much work
to do. Days of old long since,
eh? Joyous indeed.
Throughout Epps's welcome, Solomon's focus is on Patsey
who is lined up with the other slaves. SHE IS NOW MORE
HAGGARD THAN WHEN WE LAST SAW HER. Her face and arms
display many new scars. It's clear that in the
intervening years she has quite literally been a whipping
boy for Epps and the Mistress.

EXT. EPPS'S PLANTATION/COTTON FIELD - DAY
The slaves are out working on the field. Among their
ranks is a white man, ARMSBY. He is wholly unskilled at
picking cotton, and he puts little effort into the job.
As we meet him he seems a decent sort if a little short
on self-motivation. In anachronistic terminology, he'd
be called a "slacker."

INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GIN HOUSE - EVENING
As Epps said, it is days of long since. The slaves are
back to having their cotton weighed in the Gin House
EPPS
Wiley...?
TREACH
Two hundred sixty pounds.
EPPS
Bob?
TREACH
Three hundred forty pounds for
Bob.
EPPS
Patsey?
TREACH
Five hundred twenty pounds.
EPPS
Platt?
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 113.

TREACH
One hundred sixty pounds.
Before Treach is even done announcing the weight, Epps
has pulled Solomon aside to where Uncle Abram already
awaits his fate.
EPPS
Armsby?
TREACH
Sixty four pounds.
Epps speaks to Armsby sternly, but nothing of the manner
in which he would address the slaves.
EPPS
A good days labor would average
two hundred pounds.
ARMSBY
Yes, sir.
EPPS
I'm sure in time y'll develope as
a picker, but it takes effort,
boy. Put some damn effort into
it.
ARMSBY
Yes, sir.
To Treach, regarding Solomon and Abram:
EPPS
Take 'em out. Get to whippin'.
No force is needed. The slaves understand the situation.
They follow Treach out of the Gin house.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary On Master Epps's plantation, Epps revels in the success of the cotton crop and Solomon's promotion to driver, while Solomon's attention is drawn to the mistreatment of Patsey, who bears the scars of Epps's cruelty. As the slaves toil in the fields, Epps reprimands the unskilled white worker Armsby and orders punishment for Solomon and Uncle Abram for not meeting cotton quotas. The scene starkly contrasts Epps's false cheerfulness with the grim reality of the slaves' suffering, culminating in Epps's harsh orders that highlight the brutality of plantation life.
Strengths
  • Effective portrayal of oppression and resilience
  • Strong character development
  • Emotional impact on the audience
Weaknesses
  • Lack of resolution in the scene
  • Limited focus on individual character arcs

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the oppressive atmosphere of the plantation, the tension between the characters, and the sense of resignation among the slaves. It sets the stage for further conflict and character development.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of depicting life on a plantation and the struggles faced by the enslaved individuals is compelling and thought-provoking. It delves into the complexities of power, control, and survival in a brutal environment.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on the return to Epps's plantation and the dynamics between the characters, setting up future conflicts and developments. It moves the story forward while deepening the understanding of the characters' struggles.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic portrayal of the brutality of slavery, with nuanced character interactions and dialogue that feel true to the time period. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters are well-developed, with clear motivations and conflicts driving their actions. The scene allows for insights into their relationships and the impact of their circumstances on their behavior.

Character Changes: 8

The scene hints at potential character growth and changes, especially in Solomon and Patsey, as they navigate the challenges of their circumstances. Their experiences on the plantation may lead to significant transformations.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to survive and endure the brutal conditions of slavery while maintaining his sense of self and dignity. It reflects his deeper need for freedom, safety, and justice.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal in this scene is to navigate the dangerous dynamics of the plantation, avoid punishment, and protect himself and his fellow slaves. It reflects the immediate challenge of surviving in a brutal and oppressive environment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene contains internal and external conflicts, including the power struggles between the characters, the oppressive environment, and the characters' inner turmoil. These conflicts drive the narrative and add depth to the storytelling.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicts and challenges that create obstacles for the characters and drive the narrative forward.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes in the scene are evident through the oppressive environment, the power dynamics between the characters, and the characters' struggles for survival. The risks and consequences are significant, adding tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by establishing the setting, conflicts, and character dynamics. It sets the stage for future developments and adds depth to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected challenges and conflicts for the characters, keeping the audience on edge about what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the dehumanization and exploitation of human beings for profit and power, contrasting with the inherent value and dignity of every individual. This challenges Solomon's beliefs in justice, equality, and humanity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, portraying the despair, hopelessness, and defiance of the characters. It creates a sense of empathy and connection with their struggles.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue effectively conveys the power dynamics, tensions, and emotions of the characters. It adds depth to the interactions and enhances the portrayal of the oppressive environment.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it immerses the audience in the brutal and oppressive world of the plantation, creating tension and conflict that keeps viewers invested in the characters' fates.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, with a rhythmic flow that enhances the emotional impact of the characters' experiences.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, descriptions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively conveys the oppressive atmosphere of the plantation, with a clear progression of events that build tension and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the oppressive atmosphere of Epps's plantation, showcasing the contrast between Epps's jubilant demeanor and the suffering of the slaves, particularly Patsey. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the tension. Epps's lines are overtly cruel, which diminishes the subtlety of his character. A more nuanced approach could reveal his sadistic nature without explicitly stating it, allowing the audience to infer his cruelty through his actions and tone.
  • The introduction of Armsby as a 'slacker' adds an interesting dynamic, but his characterization feels underdeveloped. The audience is left wanting to know more about his background and motivations. This could be an opportunity to explore the complexities of white characters in the context of slavery, perhaps showing how his lack of motivation contrasts with the slaves' desperate struggle for survival.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The transition from Epps's cheerful proclamation to the grim reality of the cotton weighing could be smoother. Consider using a visual or auditory cue to bridge the two contrasting moods, such as the sound of the cotton being weighed or the slaves' weary expressions, to create a more cohesive flow.
  • The emotional weight of Patsey's suffering is palpable, but the scene could delve deeper into Solomon's internal conflict as he witnesses her condition. Adding a moment of reflection or a flashback could enhance the emotional impact and provide insight into Solomon's feelings of helplessness and guilt.
  • The dialogue lacks variation in tone and rhythm, making it feel somewhat flat. Incorporating more interruptions, overlapping dialogue, or moments of silence could heighten the tension and reflect the chaotic environment of the plantation.
Suggestions
  • Revise Epps's dialogue to include more subtext, allowing his cruelty to be inferred rather than explicitly stated. This could involve using sarcasm or veiled threats that reveal his sadistic nature without overtly declaring it.
  • Develop Armsby's character further by providing a brief backstory or motivation for his lack of effort. This could create a more complex dynamic between him and the slaves, highlighting the varying degrees of complicity in the system of slavery.
  • Enhance the pacing by incorporating a visual or auditory transition between Epps's joyful proclamation and the grim reality of the cotton weighing. This could involve a close-up of the cotton or the sound of the scales, emphasizing the contrast.
  • Include a moment of reflection for Solomon as he witnesses Patsey's suffering. This could be a brief flashback to happier times or a moment of internal dialogue that reveals his emotional turmoil.
  • Introduce variation in dialogue delivery by incorporating interruptions or overlapping speech to reflect the chaotic atmosphere of the plantation, making the scene feel more dynamic and engaging.



Scene 51 - Reflections in the Night
EXT. EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT
We come in after the punishment has been dealt. Patsey
tends to Uncle Abram's back as Armsby applies liniments
to Solomon's. As he does, Armsby muses:
ARMSBY
It's a tragedy. How does such
come to pass? Working a field and
picking cotton like a lowly hand.
I'm of a damn sight better
station. And my desires never
lacked for imagination, though I
will admit they have at times been
short on ingenuity. But only at
times. I've worked as an
overseer, you know.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 114.

SOLOMON
I did not, sir.
ARMSBY
Not "sir." Just Armsby. Not owed
more than any other in the field.
I worked plantations from
Virginia, down into Alabama. I
could manage easy a hundred slaves
and have done so. But to toil in
the field? Never thought that
would come to pass. Never. But
times are desperate. Where once I
had said "no" to Epps and his
merger offerings, I returned cap
in hand. ...Look at what I've
become.
SOLOMON
How did you arrive at such a
place, if I may ask?
ARMSBY
Ask. It's just conversation.
From a pocket Armsby produces a flask.
ARMSBY (CONT'D)
I became a little too dependant on
the whisky, a little too
undependable on the job. Before
you say I'm just a sorry drunkard,
let me state my case: As reliable
employment as overseeing is, it's
no easy chore on the spirit. I
say no man of conscious can take
the lash to another human day in,
and day out without shredding at
his own self. Takes him to a
place where he either makes
excuses within his mind to be
unaffected... Or finds some way
to trample his guilty sensations.
Well, I trampled.
Armsby takes a drink.
ARMSBY (CONT'D)
And with frequency.
SOLOMON
Where is your place of birth?
ARMSBY
Maryland. Have you traveled
there?
SOLOMON
...I cannot say that I have.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 115.

ARMSBY
Fine country. More seasonal than
the bayou. A deal less humid.
SOLOMON
Why did you leave it?
ARMSBY
To make my fortune, of course. I
gave in to tales of wealth and
prosperity that were the lore of
the southern states: all that's
needed being a patch of land and a
few good growing seasons. Cotton,
or tobacco. And then locating a
proper bank to store your riches.
But such profitable outcomes are
reserved for the plantation
masters. It's the lot of the rest
of us to serve. So I settled to
be an overseer, and failed as well
at that. In the meantime my
dreams gave way to reality. Now,
I want nothing more than to earn a
decent wage. And get myself home.
Armsby takes another drink and leans back.
ARMSBY (CONT'D)
Oh, to be a nigger. Not a concern
in the world and every need taken
care off. Consider yourself
fortunate, Platt. It's the plight
of the white to worry.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In a somber night scene on Epps's plantation, Armsby, a former overseer turned field worker, reflects on his fall from grace and struggles with alcohol while tending to Solomon's wounds. He shares his regrets and the moral toll of his past, engaging Solomon in conversation about his lost dreams and the burdens of his current life. Patsey tends to Uncle Abram nearby, but the focus remains on Armsby's cynical view of slavery, culminating in his twisted envy of the perceived simplicity of the slaves' lives compared to his own.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Poignant dialogue
  • Exploration of internal conflicts and regrets
Weaknesses
  • Limited external action
  • Lack of resolution for Armsby's character arc

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively delves into the emotional and psychological turmoil of Armsby, providing insight into the complexities of his character and the harsh realities of plantation life. The dialogue is poignant and reflective, capturing the desperation and resignation of the characters.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring the inner turmoil of a failed overseer within the context of plantation life is compelling and adds depth to the narrative. The scene effectively conveys the struggles and regrets of the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot progression in the scene focuses on character development and thematic exploration, providing insight into Armsby's backstory and internal conflicts. The scene contributes to the overall narrative by adding layers to the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the dynamics of slavery and power on a plantation, with nuanced character interactions and moral dilemmas that add depth and authenticity to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, particularly Armsby, are well-developed and complex, with their struggles and regrets portrayed convincingly. The scene effectively showcases the emotional depth of the characters and their internal conflicts.

Character Changes: 8

Armsby undergoes a significant emotional journey in the scene, grappling with his failures and regrets as an overseer. His interactions with Solomon and reflections on his past highlight his internal changes and growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his composure and dignity in the face of adversity. He desires to survive and eventually regain his freedom, while also grappling with the moral dilemmas of his situation.

External Goal: 7

Solomon's external goal is to navigate the dangerous and unpredictable environment of the plantation, avoiding punishment and finding a way to escape or improve his circumstances.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict in the scene is more internal and emotional, focusing on the struggles and regrets of Armsby rather than external action. The tension arises from the character's internal conflicts and desperation.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting desires, power struggles, and moral dilemmas that create obstacles for the characters and keep the audience on edge.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in the scene are more personal and emotional, revolving around Armsby's internal struggles and regrets. While there is tension and desperation, the stakes are primarily focused on the character's emotional journey.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene focuses more on character development and thematic exploration, it contributes to the overall narrative by providing insight into Armsby's backstory and internal conflicts. It adds depth to the story and enhances the audience's understanding of the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics, conflicting motivations, and moral ambiguity that create tension and suspense for the audience.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the contrast between the white overseer Armsby's sense of entitlement and superiority, and Solomon's resilience and inner strength despite his enslaved status. This challenges Solomon's beliefs about justice, humanity, and survival.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and resignation. The portrayal of Armsby's struggles and regrets resonates with the audience, eliciting empathy and emotional engagement.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is poignant and reflective, capturing the emotional turmoil and desperation of the characters. It effectively conveys the inner struggles and regrets of Armsby, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense character dynamics, moral dilemmas, and thematic depth that keep the audience invested in the story and characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and suspense, with a gradual escalation of conflict and emotion that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene is well-formatted and easy to follow, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue cues that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for character-driven dialogue scenes, with a clear progression of tension and conflict that builds towards a climax.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the aftermath of punishment, showcasing the physical and emotional toll on the characters. However, the dialogue with Armsby feels overly expository at times, which can detract from the emotional weight of the moment. While it's important to convey his backstory, the lengthy monologue can come off as a bit self-indulgent and may lose the audience's engagement.
  • Armsby's character serves as a contrast to Solomon, highlighting the complexities of power dynamics within the plantation system. However, his reflections on being an overseer and his subsequent fall from grace could be more tightly woven into the narrative. The dialogue could benefit from more subtlety, allowing the audience to infer his regrets rather than having him explicitly state them.
  • The tone of the scene shifts between somber and somewhat ironic, particularly with Armsby's comments about the 'plight of the white.' This could be a powerful moment, but it risks undermining the gravity of the situation if not handled delicately. The juxtaposition of his self-pity against the backdrop of Solomon's suffering needs to be more pronounced to enhance the emotional impact.
  • The visual elements of the scene are somewhat lacking. While the dialogue is rich, the setting could be described in more detail to create a stronger atmosphere. For instance, the physical state of the shack, the night sky, and the sounds of the plantation could all contribute to a more immersive experience for the audience.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. Armsby's lengthy monologue could be trimmed to maintain a tighter rhythm, allowing for more interaction between him and Solomon. This would also give Solomon more opportunities to react to Armsby's words, deepening their connection and highlighting the shared suffering of both characters.
Suggestions
  • Consider condensing Armsby's monologue to focus on key points that reveal his character and backstory without overwhelming the audience. This will help maintain engagement and keep the emotional stakes high.
  • Introduce more visual details to the setting to enhance the atmosphere. Describe the surroundings, the condition of the shack, and the night sky to create a more vivid backdrop for the dialogue.
  • Explore the emotional dynamics between Solomon and Armsby more deeply. Allow Solomon to react to Armsby's words, which can create a more engaging dialogue and highlight their shared experiences.
  • Use subtext in Armsby's dialogue to convey his regrets and feelings about his past without explicitly stating them. This can create a more nuanced character and allow the audience to draw their own conclusions.
  • Consider incorporating brief moments of silence or physical actions between lines of dialogue to break up the monologue and give the audience time to absorb the weight of the conversation.



Scene 52 - Burden of Loss
INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACKS - MORNING
We again hear the sound of the HORN BLOWING signaling the
start of the work day for the slave.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/FIELD - DAY
With the sun yet again high in the sky the slaves are
working the field picking cotton. As before they sing a
spiritual, the only thing that distracts them from the
tedium at hand.
But there is no distracting from the heat. We see Uncle
Abram begin to falter and finally drop down to the
ground.
Treach calls to Edward:
TREACH
Get him water.
Edward runs to fetch water which he carries to Abram and
DUMPS ON HIM...BUT ABRAM DOES NOT RISE. DOES NOT MOVE.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 116.

At this point, the sounds of the singing from the others
tapers off as they realize Abram isn't getting up.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/FIELD - LATER
We are beyond the main of the plantation, the cotton
field in the background. Solomon, Bob and Wiley are
digging a grave in the dirt. The uncovered body of Abram
lays near. Having dug down an appropriate distance, the
three men take the body and, very unceremoniously, place
it into the ground. That done, they begin to cover it
with dirt. It is all the more of a funeral that Abram
will receive.

INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GIN HOUSE - EVENING
As always, the day's pickings are again being weighed.
TREACH
One hundred sixty pounds for
Wiley.
Clearly displeased, Epps pulls Wiley from the line.
EPPS
Platt?
TREACH
Eighty eight pounds for Platt.
Epps moves to Solomon. As way of explanation but with
defiance:
SOLOMON
...We buried Abram today...

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GIN HOUSE - LATER
WE MAKE A QUICK CUT TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE GIN HOUSE. The
reason for their low totals obviously doesn't matter as
Solomon, Bob and Wiley receive a lashing for their lack
of productivity.
As the last lash falls on his back, Epps moves directly
to Solomon.
EPPS
You are a disgrace. Unfit ta
associate with a decent cotton-
pickin' nigger. The Lord don't
ignore even the lowest of his
animals. But the Almighty hold
you in such low regard He give you
no skills. None. How miserable
your shabbiness must be.
(beat)
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 117.
EPPS (CONT'D)
Get yerself clean. We dance
tonight.

INT. EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT
Solomon lays down, but can't rest. The harshness of this
life has mounted to the point he can take no more. He
gets up, he goes to RETRIEVE THE SMALL SACK IN WHICH HE
KEEPS HIS EARNINGS AS WELL AS HIS LETTER. But thinking
better of it, Solomon returns the letter to hiding. He
takes the money with him and cautiously moves from the
cabin.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION - LATER
Solomon is heading through the darkness toward another
small cabin on the property. There is the light of the
lantern in the window. Solomon steels himself, knocks on
the door. From inside we hear:
ARMSBY (V.O.)
Enter.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary On Master Epps's plantation, the workday begins with slaves picking cotton under the oppressive heat. Uncle Abram collapses from exhaustion and dies, leading to a somber burial by fellow slaves Solomon, Bob, and Wiley. Epps, angered by their low productivity, punishes Solomon for mentioning Abram's death. The scene highlights the brutal realities of slavery, culminating in Solomon's determination to seek help as he leaves his cabin at night.
Strengths
  • Raw portrayal of slavery's brutality
  • Emotional depth of characters
  • Intense conflict and tension
Weaknesses
  • Lack of character development for secondary characters
  • Limited exploration of internal character struggles

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the brutality and dehumanization of slavery, creating a sense of despair and hopelessness among the characters. The harsh treatment of the slaves and the lack of empathy from the overseers are portrayed with raw emotion and intensity.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the brutal realities of slave labor and the lack of humanity in the plantation system is effectively portrayed in the scene. It delves into the dehumanizing effects of slavery on both the enslaved and the overseers.

Plot: 8

The plot focuses on the harsh treatment of the slaves, the death of Uncle Abram, and the punishment of Solomon and his companions, driving home the central themes of oppression and dehumanization. It sets the stage for further exploration of the characters' struggles.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic depiction of the dehumanizing effects of slavery, with realistic dialogue and actions that feel true to the characters' experiences.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters in the scene, particularly Solomon and Epps, are well-developed and showcase the complexities of their relationships within the oppressive plantation system. Their interactions reveal the power dynamics and emotional turmoil inherent in their circumstances.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the emotional and physical toll of slavery is evident in the characters' actions and reactions. Solomon's resilience and defiance, as well as Epps's cruelty and arrogance, remain consistent throughout.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal is to survive and maintain his dignity in the face of extreme hardship and cruelty.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to endure the physical labor and abuse imposed on him by the plantation owner.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The scene is filled with internal and external conflicts, including the physical labor in the cotton fields, the punishment in the gin house, and the power struggles between the overseers and the slaves. These conflicts drive the narrative forward and heighten the tension.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing physical and emotional challenges that test his strength and resolve.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes in the scene revolve around the survival and dignity of the enslaved characters, as well as the power dynamics and conflicts within the plantation system. The consequences of disobedience and defiance are severe, adding to the tension and drama.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting the ongoing struggles of the enslaved characters, the oppressive environment of the plantation, and the power dynamics at play. It sets the stage for further developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because it presents unexpected challenges and obstacles for the protagonist, keeping the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict is between the protagonist's belief in his own humanity and worth, and the plantation owner's dehumanizing treatment of him as property.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions of sadness, anger, and resignation, immersing the audience in the harsh realities of slavery. The despair and defiance of the characters resonate deeply, creating a powerful emotional impact.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the harshness and cruelty of the overseers towards the slaves, as well as the defiance and resilience of the enslaved characters. It adds depth to the character interactions and enhances the emotional impact of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it creates a sense of tension and urgency, drawing the audience into the protagonist's struggle for survival.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the protagonist's journey.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear transitions between locations and actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and effective structure, moving from the start of the work day to the protagonist's confrontation with the plantation owner.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the oppressive atmosphere of the plantation and the brutal realities faced by the slaves. The use of sound, such as the horn signaling the start of the workday and the spirituals sung by the slaves, adds depth to the emotional weight of the scene. However, the transition from the field to the grave-digging could be smoother; it feels abrupt and could benefit from a more gradual build-up to emphasize the gravity of Abram's death.
  • The dialogue, particularly Epps's insults, is impactful and highlights his cruelty. However, Solomon's response to Epps about Abram's burial feels somewhat detached. It would be more powerful if Solomon expressed more emotion or a sense of loss, reinforcing the personal stakes involved. This would deepen the audience's connection to Solomon's character and his plight.
  • The visual imagery of the grave-digging scene is poignant, but it lacks a moment of reflection or mourning from the characters. Adding a brief pause or a line of dialogue that acknowledges Abram's life and the loss felt by the community could enhance the emotional resonance of the moment.
  • The pacing of the scene is generally effective, but the transition to the evening at the gin house feels rushed. The audience may benefit from a moment that captures the aftermath of Abram's death, perhaps showing how it affects the morale of the other slaves or Solomon's internal struggle as he faces Epps's wrath.
  • The final moments of the scene, where Solomon retrieves his earnings and letter, are compelling but could be expanded. This moment signifies his hope for freedom, and exploring his internal conflict about hiding the letter could add layers to his character. It would be beneficial to delve into his thoughts and fears as he contemplates the risks involved.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or dialogue among the slaves after Abram's collapse to emphasize their shared grief and the impact of his death on their community.
  • Enhance Solomon's emotional response to Epps's taunts by incorporating more of his internal thoughts or feelings, allowing the audience to connect with his pain and frustration.
  • Smooth the transition between the field and the grave-digging scene by including a moment that captures the slaves' reactions to Abram's death, perhaps showing their reluctance to leave the field or their somber demeanor.
  • Expand on the evening scene at the gin house by including a moment that illustrates the tension among the slaves following Abram's death, highlighting how it affects their productivity and morale.
  • Explore Solomon's internal conflict more deeply when he retrieves his earnings and letter. Consider adding a voiceover or inner monologue that reflects his hopes and fears about freedom, enhancing the emotional stakes of the scene.



Scene 53 - A Risky Proposition
INT. EPPS'S PLANTATION/ARMSBY'S SHACK - LATER
The door opens. Solomon enters. Armsby is surprised to
see him. So much so, he isn't sure what greeting to
give. Solomon gives a blunt introduction. Re: the
coins:
SOLOMON
The proceeds of my fiddling
performances. A few picayunes,
but all I have in the world. I
promise them to you if you will do
me the favor I require. But I beg
you not to expose me if you cannot
grant the request.
ARMSBY
What is it you ask?
SOLOMON
First, your word, sir.
ARMSBY
On my honor.
SOLOMON
It is a simple enough request. I
ask only that you deposit a letter
in the Marksville post office.
And that you keep the action an
inviolable secret forever. The
details of the letter are of no
consequence. Even at that, for me
to write it would be a self-
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 118.
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
imposition of much pain and
suffering.
ARMSBY
Where's the letter now?
SOLOMON
It is not yet composed. I will
have it in a day. Two at most.
Armsby considers the request.
ARMSBY
I will do as you ask. And will
accept whatever payment is
offered.
Solomon hesitates. In the moment, he's not so sure he
can wholly give himself over to trust.
ARMSBY (CONT'D)
To assist you, I put my own self
at risk. I will do so, but not
without fair compensation.
Solomon hands over the money.
ARMSBY (CONT'D)
Compose your letter. We will meet
again. In two days?
SOLOMON
In two days. ...Thank you.
Solomon exits.

INT. EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT
Solomon rests but does not sleep. He has set himself on
a course, one from which there is no departure.

EXT. EPPS'S PLANTATION/COTTON FIELD - DAY
Solomon and the slaves pick cotton. Armsby is
conspicuously NOT laboring in the field. As Solomon
works he is watched by Epps. Watched more than he
normally is. For a moment it seems it might just be a
matter of perspective; Solomon's unease over his actions.
But soon Epps is joined by Armsby. The two men stand and
talk, their looks locked toward Solomon.
Whatever it is that is occurring between them continues
for a long, long moment. But Epps makes no move toward
Solomon. Solomon continues with his work.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 119.

INT. EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT
The slaves are at rests. Gripping his whip Epps enters,
without so much as a knock at the door. For a moment
there's curiosity; is he there for a dance, for
Patsey...?
Looking right to Solomon:
EPPS
Get up.
Solomon does. Epps heads back out into the dark. He
says nothing, but his directive is clear: Follow me.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Solomon approaches Armsby in his shack, proposing a deal to deliver a letter to the post office in exchange for his earnings, despite his uncertainty about trusting Armsby. Armsby agrees, but insists on fair compensation. The scene shifts to Solomon working in the cotton field under Epps's watchful eye, where he notices Epps and Armsby discussing him. The tension escalates as Epps later commands Solomon to follow him into the night, leaving an ominous sense of foreboding.
Strengths
  • Tension-filled atmosphere
  • Compelling character interactions
  • Emotional depth
Weaknesses
  • Limited dialogue

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the tension and desperation of Solomon's situation, highlighting the risks he takes to secure his freedom. The secretive nature of the request adds depth to the plot and character development.


Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of seeking help through a risky and secretive letter delivery adds depth to the narrative, showcasing the lengths to which Solomon is willing to go for his freedom. The scene effectively explores themes of trust, desperation, and sacrifice.

Plot: 8.5

The plot of the scene is engaging and impactful, focusing on Solomon's pivotal decision to seek help for his freedom through a risky request to Armsby. The scene moves the story forward while adding layers to the character development.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the dynamics of trust and survival in a historical setting, with authentic character actions and dialogue that resonate with the audience.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Solomon and Armsby are well-developed in the scene, with their motivations and actions driving the narrative forward. The interactions between the two characters are compelling and add depth to their respective arcs.

Character Changes: 8

Solomon undergoes a significant change in the scene as he takes a bold step towards securing his freedom by asking Armsby for help. This decision showcases his determination and willingness to take risks for liberty.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to secure Armsby's assistance without revealing too much about his own vulnerability and desperation. This reflects his need for survival and his fear of being exposed or betrayed.

External Goal: 7.5

Solomon's external goal is to get Armsby to deliver a letter for him, which is crucial for his potential escape or communication with the outside world. This goal reflects the immediate challenge of navigating the dangerous dynamics of the plantation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is palpable, with Solomon's risky request to Armsby creating tension and suspense. The power dynamics and uncertainties between the characters heighten the conflict and drive the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the power dynamics between Solomon, Armsby, and Epps creating uncertainty and conflict, adding depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as Solomon risks exposure and punishment by asking Armsby for help in delivering a secret letter. The outcome of this risky decision could have significant consequences for his quest for freedom.

Story Forward: 9

The scene effectively moves the story forward by introducing a pivotal moment in Solomon's journey towards freedom. The risky request to Armsby adds complexity to the plot and sets the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 7.5

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and the uncertain outcomes of Solomon's request to Armsby, creating tension and suspense for the audience.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between trust and self-preservation. Solomon must trust Armsby with a secret task, risking his own safety in the process. This challenges Solomon's beliefs about human nature and the lengths he must go to survive.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.5

The scene has a strong emotional impact, eliciting feelings of fear, hope, and distrust as Solomon navigates the risks of seeking help for his freedom. The desperation and tension in the scene resonate with the audience.

Dialogue: 7.5

The dialogue in the scene effectively conveys the tension and desperation of Solomon's request to Armsby, adding depth to their interactions. The dialogue is impactful in driving the plot forward and revealing the characters' motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its high stakes, emotional intensity, and the suspenseful interactions between the characters, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, maintaining a sense of urgency and emotional impact throughout.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, enhancing the clarity and impact of the storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, effectively building tension and conflict through the characters' interactions and decisions.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension through the interaction between Solomon and Armsby, highlighting Solomon's desperation and the precariousness of his situation. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to convey the underlying tension and mistrust between the characters. Armsby's initial surprise at Solomon's arrival could be expanded to show his internal conflict about helping a slave, which would add depth to his character.
  • The pacing of the scene feels slightly rushed, particularly in the dialogue exchange. While the urgency of Solomon's request is clear, allowing for a moment of hesitation or contemplation from Armsby could enhance the dramatic weight of the decision he is making. This would also give the audience a chance to feel the gravity of the situation.
  • The transition between the different settings (from Armsby's shack to the cotton field) could be smoother. The abrupt shift might confuse the audience about the timeline and the emotional state of Solomon. A brief moment of reflection or a visual cue could help bridge these scenes more effectively.
  • The scene's emotional tone is somewhat muted. While the stakes are high, the dialogue lacks emotional resonance. Incorporating more visceral language or imagery could help convey Solomon's desperation and the risks involved in his plan, making the audience feel more invested in his plight.
  • The final moment where Epps enters the slave shack is impactful, but it could be enhanced by foreshadowing his arrival earlier in the scene. Subtle hints of Epps's looming presence could create a sense of dread that culminates in his sudden entrance, heightening the tension.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more internal conflict for Armsby as he grapples with the moral implications of helping Solomon. This could be expressed through his body language or hesitations in his speech.
  • Slow down the dialogue exchange between Solomon and Armsby to allow for more dramatic pauses. This would give the audience time to absorb the weight of Solomon's request and Armsby's response.
  • Incorporate a visual or auditory cue that signifies the passage of time or Solomon's emotional state as he transitions from the shack to the cotton field, such as a close-up of his face reflecting anxiety or determination.
  • Enhance the emotional stakes by including more descriptive language that illustrates Solomon's feelings of desperation and fear. This could be done through his thoughts or physical reactions during the conversation.
  • Foreshadow Epps's entrance by including subtle hints, such as the sound of his footsteps or a distant call, to build tension before he appears, making his arrival feel more ominous.



Scene 54 - Manipulation and Despair
EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACK - CONTINUOUS
Solomon comes out into the dark. Nearly hidden in the
shadows is a bitter Epps. Despite the lack of light,
Epps's malevolence is quite clear. His whip twisting in
his hand.
EPPS
Well, boy. I understand I've got
a larned nigger that writes
letters and tries to get white
fellows to mail 'em.
Solomon, hardly missing a beat, plays this off.
SOLOMON
Don't know nothing about it,
Master Epps. Don't know nothing
about it, sir.
EPPS
Yah wasn't over with Armsby night
before last?
SOLOMON
No, master.
EPPS
Hav'nt yah asked that fella to
mail a letter fer yah at
Marksville?
Without overplaying things, Solomon gets real slick.
SOLOMON
Why, Lord, master, I never spoke
but three words to him in all my
life. I don't know what you mean.
EPPS
Well, Armsby tol' me today the
devil was among my niggers. That
I had one that needed close
watchin' or he would run away.
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 120.
EPPS (CONT'D)
When I axed him why, he said you
come over to him and waked him up
in the middle of the night and
wanted him to carry a letter to
Marksville. What have yah got to
say to that?
SOLOMON
All I have to say, master, is all
that need be said. There is no
truth in it. How could I write a
letter without ink or paper?
There is nobody I want to write to
'cause I hain't got no friends
living as I know of. That Armsby
is a lying drunken fellow, they
say, and nobody believes him
anyway. You know I always tell
the truth, and that I never go off
the plantation without your given
word. Now, master, I can see what
that Armsby is after, plain
enough. Didn't he want you to
hire him for an overseer?
EPPS
...Yes...
SOLOMON
That's it. He wants to make you
believe we're all going to run
away and then he thinks you'll
hire an overseer to watch us. He
just made that story out of whole
cloth, 'cause he wants to get a
situation. It's all a lie,
master, you may depend on't.
Epps shallow mind is so easily manipulated Solomon is
able to work it as though he were performing origami. We
can nearly see Epps's thoughts being folded.
EPPS
I'm damned, Platt, if I don't
believe you tell the truth. He
must take me for a soft, to think
he can come it over me with them
kind of yarns, musn't he? Maybe
he think he can fool me. Maybe he
thinks I don't know nothing...
Can't take care of my own niggers.
Soft soap old Epps. Damn Armsby!
Set the dogs on him, Platt. That
filthy unloved bastard. He will
not separate me from my niggers.
I will drive him from my land
before the sun comes over it.
Ohh, were he not free and white,
Platt. Were he not free and
white.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 121.

Epps heads off to do as promised.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION - NIGHT
Having found a lonely spot, Solomon has struck a small
fire. He has in his hand his letter. With no ceremony,
he casts it upon the flames and watches it burn.

BLACK

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION - DAY
It's the Sabbath. The slaves are left to themselves to
do their own chores. At the moment they are down by the
river washing their clothes in the water. Missing from
the field of labor is Patsey, for whom Epps hollers.
EPPS
Patsey... Patsey!
Epps comes down to the bank and asks of the slaves:
EPPS (CONT'D)
Where is she? Where is Patsey?
No one answers.
EPPS (CONT'D)
Talk, Damn you!
PHEBE
We have no knowledge of her,
Massa.
EPPS
The hell you don't! You know
where she is! She run off, ain't
she? She's escaped, and you
miserable black dogs stand like
the deef and dumb. My best cotton
picking nigger! My best. I'd
give yah all up for her. Where
she gone?
Not a word spoken. Epps wades in and among the slaves
and begins to whip at them recklessly.
EPPS (CONT'D)
Speak! Speak!
The slaves say nothing. There is nothing for them to
say. They don't know where she is. Eventually Epps
slows, then stops. He drops down in great sorrow.
EPPS (CONT'D)
She run off... Pats run off.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 122.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In this tense scene, Solomon confronts Master Epps, who accuses him of trying to escape. Solomon skillfully manipulates Epps's insecurities, convincing him that another slave, Armsby, is the real threat. Epps, feeling validated, decides to act against Armsby. The next day, Epps searches for the missing Patsey, interrogating the other slaves in frustration, but they remain silent, leaving him in despair over her disappearance.
Strengths
  • Tension-building
  • Emotional depth
  • Character dynamics
  • Revelation of key information
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Reliance on dialogue for conflict resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is highly impactful, with a strong focus on tension, manipulation, and emotional depth. The confrontation between Solomon and Epps is well-executed, and the revelation of Patsey's escape adds a layer of complexity and despair to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene revolves around manipulation, tension, and emotional revelation. It effectively conveys the power dynamics and emotional turmoil present on the plantation.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the narrative, revealing key character dynamics and setting the stage for future developments. The revelation of Patsey's escape adds a new layer of conflict and emotion to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the dynamics of slavery, with authentic dialogue and complex character interactions that feel true to the historical context. The writer's original voice adds depth and authenticity to the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters, particularly Solomon and Epps, are well-developed and their interactions are compelling. Solomon's manipulation tactics and Epps's emotional turmoil add depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 9

Solomon's manipulation tactics and Epps's emotional turmoil showcase subtle changes in their characters, adding depth and complexity to their dynamics.

Internal Goal: 9

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to protect himself from Epps's suspicions and maintain his survival. This reflects his deeper need for freedom and safety, as well as his fear of being punished or separated from his fellow slaves.

External Goal: 8

Solomon's external goal is to convince Epps of his innocence and loyalty, in order to avoid punishment or further suspicion. This reflects the immediate challenge of navigating Epps's volatile behavior and maintaining his position on the plantation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict in the scene is high, with tension running high between Solomon and Epps, as well as the emotional turmoil surrounding Patsey's escape. The power dynamics and manipulation tactics add layers of conflict to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Epps's volatile behavior and Solomon's manipulation creating a tense and unpredictable dynamic.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with the revelation of Patsey's escape and the potential consequences for Solomon and the other slaves. The emotional turmoil and power dynamics elevate the stakes and add intensity to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key information about the characters and setting the stage for future developments. The revelation of Patsey's escape and the manipulation tactics employed by Solomon drive the narrative forward.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and unexpected twists in the characters' interactions.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Epps's belief in his own power and control over the slaves, and Solomon's manipulation of that belief to protect himself. This challenges Epps's worldview of superiority and control.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a significant emotional impact, evoking feelings of tension, despair, and manipulation. The revelation of Patsey's escape and Epps's emotional breakdown resonate strongly with the audience.

Dialogue: 8.5

The dialogue is impactful and serves to enhance the tension and emotion in the scene. Solomon's clever responses and Epps's outbursts contribute to the overall intensity of the confrontation.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high stakes, emotional intensity, and sharp dialogue that keeps the audience on edge.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' fates.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, following the expected format for a screenplay in its genre.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension and reveals character motivations, following the expected format for a dramatic confrontation in a historical setting.


Critique
  • The dialogue effectively captures the power dynamics between Solomon and Epps, showcasing Solomon's intelligence and cunning as he manipulates Epps's insecurities. However, the scene could benefit from more subtext; while Solomon's cleverness is evident, the stakes feel somewhat muted. Adding more tension or urgency to Solomon's situation could enhance the emotional weight of the confrontation.
  • Epps's characterization as a cruel and paranoid master is well established, but his motivations could be further explored. Why is he so threatened by the idea of a letter? Delving deeper into his psyche could add layers to his character and make the confrontation more compelling.
  • The transition from the confrontation with Epps to Solomon burning the letter is visually striking, but it could be more impactful if the emotional stakes of the letter were clearer. The audience should feel the weight of Solomon's decision to destroy his only means of communication with the outside world. A brief flashback or a moment of hesitation before he throws the letter could heighten the emotional resonance.
  • The scene shifts abruptly from night to day without a clear transition, which can be jarring for the audience. A more gradual transition or a visual cue could help maintain the flow of the narrative and provide a clearer sense of time passing.
  • Epps's violent outburst when searching for Patsey effectively illustrates his cruelty, but the scene could benefit from a stronger emotional response from the other slaves. Their silence is powerful, but adding subtle reactions or expressions could enhance the tension and highlight their shared fear and trauma.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a moment of internal conflict for Solomon before he burns the letter, perhaps showing his hesitation or a flashback to his family, which would deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Explore Epps's motivations further by incorporating a line or two that reveals his fears or insecurities about losing control over his slaves, making his paranoia more relatable and complex.
  • Enhance the transition between night and day by using a visual cue, such as the rising sun or the sounds of morning, to create a smoother flow and maintain audience engagement.
  • Incorporate subtle reactions from the other slaves during Epps's outburst to emphasize their shared trauma and fear, which would add depth to the scene and highlight the oppressive atmosphere.
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to make it more impactful. For instance, Solomon's responses could be more concise, allowing for a sharper exchange that heightens the tension between him and Epps.



Scene 55 - Brutality Under the Sun
EXT. EPPS'S PLANTATION - LATER
Epps sits on the piazza looking quite forlorn. He looks
up only to see Patsey returning to the plantation. Epps
steps up to greet her, with anger rather than relief.
As they hear his angry voice, the slaves step around from
where they are hanging their laundry to dry.
EPPS
Run off. Run off, did you?
PATSEY
Massa Epps--
EPPS
You miserable wench! Where you
been?
PATSEY
I been nowhere.
EPPS
Lies to your misdeeds!
PATSEY
The Sabbath day, Massa. I took me
a walk to commune wit da Lord.
EPPS
Bring the Lord into yer
deceptions? Yah Godless...
Shaw's. Comin' from Shaw's
plantation weren't yah?
PATSEY
...No...
EPPS
Yah didn't run, did yah? Yah took
yerself ta pleasure Shaw. Yah
gave baser passion to that
unblushin' libertine!
Solomon tries to intervene:
SOLOMON
Master Epps--
EPPS
Now yah speak? Now that yah want
to add to 'er lies yah find yer
tongue.
Epps goes to strike Solomon, but Patsey pulls his arm
back.
PATSEY
Do not strike him. I went to
Massa Shaw's plantation!
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 123.

EPPS
Yah admit it.
PATSEY
Freely. And you know why.
Patsey takes soap from the pocket of her dress.
PATSEY (CONT'D)
I got this from Mistress Shaw.
Misstress Epps won't even grant me
no soap ta clean with. Stink so
much I make myself gag. Five
hundred pounds 'a cotton day in,
day out. More than any man here.
And 'fo that I will be clean; that
all I ax. Dis here what I went to
Shaw's 'fo.
EPPS
You lie...
PATSEY
The Lord knows that's all.
EPPS
You lie!
PATSEY
And you blind wit yer own
covetousness. I don't lie, Massa.
If you kill me, I'll stick ta
that.
EPPS
Oh, I'll fetch you down. I'll
learn you to go to Shaw's. Platt,
run get four stakes and straps a
leather.
At first Solomon does not move. Epps level all his rage
at him:
EPPS (CONT'D)
Get them stakes!
Solomon runs quickly to the tool shed. In short order he
returns with the stakes and a hammer.
EPPS (CONT'D)
Drive 'em into the ground.
As Solomon does so, Epps gives an order to Wiley and
Edward.
EPPS (CONT'D)
Strip her. Strike her bare 'n
lash her to the stakes.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 124.

Mistress Epps has now come from the Great House. She
gazes on the scene with an air of heartless satisfaction.
Now tied face down to the stakes, Epps stands over Patsey
with his whip.
EPPS (CONT'D)
Yah done this to yerself, Pats!
Epps hoists the whip to strike, holds it high...but no
matter his rage, Epps cannot bring himself to deliver the
blow. He looks to Mistress Epps who now stands gloating
and spurring him on.
MISTRESS EPPS
Do it! Strike the life from her.
Epps again hoists the whip. It trembles in his hand
ahead of the act... But he does not have it in him to
deliver such a beating. Turning to Solomon, thrusting
the whip at him:
EPPS
Beat her.
Solomon doesn't move. Epps shoves the whip into his
hand.
EPPS (CONT'D)
Give her the whip. Give it all to
her!
Patsey, begging to Solomon:
PATSEY
I'd rather it you, Platt.
EPPS
Strike her, or yah'll get the
same!
Solomon takes a step back. He unfurls the whip... He
begins to whip Patsey. Lash after lash, Patsey squirms
before it. Epps eyes fill with tears, he is nearly too
distraught to watch.
But the Mistress... She is not satisfied with Solomon's
half-hearted effort.
MISTRESS EPPS
He pantomimes. There ain't barely
a welt on her. That's what your
niggers make of yah; a fool fer
the takin'.
Epps's grief is replaced by fury. Directly to Solomon:
EPPS
Yah will strike her. Yah will
strike her until her flesh is rent
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 125.
EPPS (CONT'D)
and meat and blood flow equal, or
every nigger in my sight will die!
Solomon can't do it, even if it means his life. But from
the ground, from Patsey:
PATSEY
Do it, Platt. Don't stop until I
am dead.
What else can he do? Solomon begins to whip, to truly
whip Patsey. Her back welts, then tears... Patsey
screams in agony. Solomon strikes again and again...
After a full thirty lashes Solomon looks to Epps, who is
not satisfied.
EPPS
Until I say no more! I ain't said
nothing!
Solomon strikes another ten to fifteen times. By now, as
promised, Patsey's back has been reduced to LITTLE MORE
THAN TORN MEAT AND BLOOD.
Finally, Solomon tosses down the whip he can and will do
no more.
EPPS (CONT'D)
Strike her! Strike her!
Solomon will not. Epps takes up the whip and whips
Patsey with "ten fold" greater force than he had. The
painfully loud and angry curses of Epps load the air.
Patsey by now is terribly lacerated - Solomon describes
without exaggeration literally flayed. The lash wet with
blood which flowed down her sides and dropped upon the
ground. At length Patsey ceases struggling. Her head
sinks listlessly on the ground. Her screams and
supplications gradually decrease and die away into a low
moan. It would seem that she was dying.
Solomon, screaming at Epps:
SOLOMON
Thou devil! Sooner or later,
somewhere in the course of eternal
justice thou shalt answer for this
sin.
EPPS
No sin. No more 'n if it'd kicked
a chair that wouldn't stand right,
or a stove that was no good for
holdin' fire. Things that give me
consternation. A man does how he
pleases with his property. At the
moment, Platt, I am of great
pleasure. You be goddamn careful
I don't come to wantin' to
lightenin' my mood no further.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 126.

By contrast to this horror, the field of cotton smiles in
the warm sunlight. The birds chirp merrily amidst the
foliage of the tress. Peace and happiness seems to reign
everywhere.
Everywhere else.
Epps leaves Patsey to herself. He says not a word to the
Mistress as he passes. The Mistress herself heads back
into the house.
Solomon unties Patsey, lifts her and takes her to the
cabin.
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary Epps confronts Patsey upon her return to the plantation, accusing her of infidelity and ordering Solomon to punish her for seeking soap from a neighboring plantation. Despite her pleas, Epps, fueled by rage and his wife's encouragement, ties Patsey to stakes and commands Solomon to whip her. Reluctantly, Solomon complies, leading to a brutal beating that leaves Patsey nearly lifeless. The scene starkly contrasts the serene beauty of the plantation with the horrific violence of slavery, highlighting the moral struggle faced by Solomon.
Strengths
  • Powerful performances
  • Intense emotions
  • Compelling conflict
  • Deep character development
Weaknesses
  • Graphic violence
  • Disturbing themes

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is incredibly powerful and impactful, effectively conveying the harsh realities of slavery and the emotional turmoil experienced by the characters. The intense emotions, the conflict, and the high stakes all contribute to a compelling and memorable scene.


Story Content

Concept: 9.5

The concept of the scene, focusing on the brutal whipping of Patsey and the moral dilemma faced by Solomon, is profound and thought-provoking. It delves deep into the themes of power, cruelty, and the dehumanizing effects of slavery.

Plot: 9

The plot of the scene is crucial in advancing the narrative and highlighting the central conflicts and tensions within the story. It adds depth to the characters and propels the story forward with impactful events.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and authentic portrayal of the brutality of slavery, with unique character dynamics and intense emotional conflict. The dialogue feels raw and realistic, adding to the authenticity of the characters' actions.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters in the scene are well-developed and portrayed with depth and complexity. Their emotions, motivations, and struggles are effectively conveyed, adding layers to the narrative and enhancing the overall impact of the scene.

Character Changes: 9

The characters undergo significant emotional and moral changes in the scene, particularly Solomon and Epps. Their actions and decisions reflect their internal struggles and the moral dilemmas they face, leading to character development and growth.

Internal Goal: 9

Patsey's internal goal is to maintain her dignity and self-respect in the face of abuse and degradation. She desires to be treated with basic human decency and to stand up for herself despite the consequences.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal is to survive the brutal punishment inflicted by her master and to protect herself from further harm.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9.7

The level of conflict in the scene is incredibly high, with intense emotional, moral, and physical conflicts driving the narrative forward. The power dynamics, the brutality of the whipping, and the characters' internal struggles all contribute to a gripping conflict.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing insurmountable odds and brutal punishment. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of the outcome.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes in the scene are incredibly high, with the physical, emotional, and moral well-being of the characters on the line. The brutal whipping of Patsey and the moral dilemma faced by Solomon raise the stakes to a critical level.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing key conflicts, deepening character relationships, and setting up future events. It adds layers to the narrative and propels the plot towards its resolution.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable due to the shifting power dynamics between the characters and the unexpected choices they make in response to the escalating conflict.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the clash between the master's belief in his right to treat his slaves as property and the slaves' inherent humanity and desire for freedom and dignity. This challenges the protagonist's values of self-worth and autonomy.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a profound emotional impact on the audience, evoking feelings of anger, sadness, and empathy. The raw and intense emotions portrayed by the characters resonate deeply, leaving a lasting impression.

Dialogue: 8.8

The dialogue in the scene is intense, emotional, and impactful, effectively conveying the characters' emotions, conflicts, and relationships. It adds depth to the interactions and enhances the authenticity of the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflict, vivid imagery, and the high stakes faced by the characters. The audience is drawn into the tension and brutality of the situation.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and suspense, leading to a climactic moment of emotional and physical violence. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the scene's impact.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a dramatic scene in a historical setting, with clear dialogue attribution and scene descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a structured format that effectively builds tension and conveys the escalating conflict between the characters. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's intensity.


Critique
  • The scene effectively captures the brutality of slavery and the moral complexities faced by Solomon, but it risks overwhelming the audience with its graphic violence. While the horror of the act is essential to convey the reality of the characters' experiences, consider balancing the visceral imagery with moments of emotional depth or reflection to allow the audience to process the trauma.
  • Epps's character is portrayed as a deeply flawed antagonist, but his motivations could be further explored. Providing a glimpse into his psyche or backstory could enhance the audience's understanding of his cruelty, making him a more complex character rather than a one-dimensional villain.
  • The dialogue is impactful, particularly Patsey's defiance and Solomon's anguish. However, some lines could be tightened for greater emotional resonance. For instance, Epps's dialogue could be more varied to reflect his emotional state rather than relying on repetitive accusations.
  • The pacing of the scene is intense, which works well for the subject matter, but it may benefit from moments of stillness or silence to heighten the tension. Allowing the audience to sit with the horror of the moment could amplify the emotional stakes.
  • The contrast between the serene beauty of the plantation and the horrific violence is a powerful visual element. However, consider enhancing this contrast through more descriptive language or imagery that emphasizes the juxtaposition, making the horror even more striking.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate brief flashbacks or memories for Solomon during the whipping to provide context for his internal struggle, allowing the audience to connect with his pain on a deeper level.
  • Consider adding a moment where Solomon hesitates before striking Patsey, showcasing his internal conflict more vividly. This could heighten the emotional stakes and make his eventual compliance more tragic.
  • Explore Epps's motivations further by including a line or two that hints at his own insecurities or fears, making his cruelty feel more rooted in his character rather than simply a display of power.
  • Introduce a moment of silence or a pause in the action after the whipping to allow the audience to absorb the gravity of the situation before moving on. This could enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
  • Revise some of the dialogue to make it more varied and reflective of each character's emotional state, particularly Epps, to avoid repetitive phrasing and to deepen the audience's understanding of his character.



Scene 56 - Agony and Debate
INT. CABIN - LATER
Patsey is laid on some boards where she remains for a
long time with eyes closed and groaning in agony. Phebe
applies melted tallow to her wounds, and all try to
assist and console her.
In time Patsey opens her eyes. She looks to Solomon.
She does not say a word. She just looks at him...and
then her eyes close again.

BLACK

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE - DAY
Planks of wood are being delivered and unloaded.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE - DAY
The slaves are now employed working on an extension to
the Great House. Overseeing the project is MR. AVERY.
The slaves themselves work under the direction of MR.
BASS, a large man, between forty and fifty years old, of
light complexion and light hair. He is cool and self-
possessed, fond of argument, but always speaking with
extreme deliberation as well as a Canadian accent.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE - DAY
As the slaves continue to work, there is a conversation
going on between Epps and Bass. Bass much skilled in the
art of sophistry, while Epps's arguments are fueled
mostly by emotion alone. Though at first Epps does
little more than joke his way around the facts.
Solomon, working still, can't help but overhear.
BASS
I tell you what it is, Epps. It's
all wrong. All wrong, sir.
There's no justice nor
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 127.
BASS (CONT'D)
righteousness in slavery. I
wouldn't own a slave if I was rich
as Croesus, which I am not, as is
perfectly well understood. More
particularly among my creditors.
There's another humbug: the credit
system. Humbug, sir. No credit,
no debt. Credit leads a man into
temptation. Cash down is the only
thing that will deliver him from
evil. But this question of
slavery; what right have you to
your niggers when you come down to
the point?
EPPS
What right? I bought 'em. I paid
for 'em.
BASS
Of course you did. The law says
you have the right to hold a
nigger, but begging the law's
pardon...it lies.
EPPS
You are daft.
BASS
Yes, Epps, when the law says that
it's a liar, and the truth is not
in it. Is everything right
because the law allows it?
Suppose they'd pass a law taking
away your liberty and making you a
slave?
EPPS
That ain't a supposable case.
Hope you don't compare me to a
nigger, Bass.
BASS
In the sight of God, what is the
difference, Epps, between a white
man and a black one?
EPPS
Yah might as well ask what the
difference is between a white man
and a baboon. Now, I seen one of
them critters in Orleans that
knowed just as much as any nigger
I got. Yah'd call them fellers
citizens, I s'pose?
BASS
Look here, Epps. You can't laugh
me down in that way.
(pointed)
Some men are witty, and some ain't
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 128.
BASS (CONT'D)
so witty as they think they are.
But let that pass. These niggers
are human beings. If they don't
know as much as their masters,
whose fault is it? They are not
allowed to know anything. You
have books and papers, and can go
where you please, and gather
intelligence in a thousand ways.
But your slaves have no
privileges. You'd whip one of
them if caught reading a book.
They are held in bondage,
generation after generation,
deprived of mental improvement.
Who can expect them to posses much
knowledge If they are not brought
down to a level with the brute
creation, you slaveholders will
never be blamed for it. If they
are baboons, or stand no higher in
scale of intelligence than such
animals, you and men like you will
have to answer for it. There's a
sin, a fearful sin, resting on
this nation that will not go
unpunished forever. There will be
a reckoning yet.
The "funny" has completely gone out of the conversation
for Epps. Quite coldly:
EPPS
You like to hear yourself talk,
Bass, better than any man I know
of. Yah'd argue that black was
white, or white black if anybody
would contradict you. A fine
supposition if yah lived among
Yankees in New England. But yah
don't. You most assuredly do not.
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary In a cabin, Patsey lies in agony as Phebe tends to her wounds, while Solomon watches helplessly. The scene shifts to Master Epps's plantation, where slaves work on an extension to the Great House. Mr. Bass confronts Epps about the morality of slavery, arguing that it is a sin and denies slaves the chance for education. Epps dismisses Bass's arguments with contempt, insisting on the legality of his ownership and showing a lack of empathy. The emotional tone highlights Patsey's suffering and the unresolved moral conflict surrounding slavery.
Strengths
  • Powerful dialogue
  • Philosophical depth
  • Strong character dynamics
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Lack of action

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene is well-crafted, with a strong focus on dialogue and character dynamics. The philosophical debate adds depth to the narrative and raises important questions about morality and human rights.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the morality of slavery through a philosophical debate is compelling and thought-provoking. It adds layers to the narrative and challenges the audience to consider complex ethical issues.

Plot: 7.5

While the plot progression is minimal in this scene, the philosophical debate serves as a crucial moment of character development and thematic exploration. It deepens the understanding of the characters' beliefs and motivations.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh and authentic portrayal of the brutality and injustice of slavery, with nuanced characters and thought-provoking dialogue that challenges the audience's assumptions.


Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Epps and Bass are well-defined and their contrasting personalities drive the scene forward. Their interactions reveal key aspects of their beliefs and values.

Character Changes: 7

While there is no significant character change in this scene, the ideological clash between Epps and Bass challenges their beliefs and values, setting the stage for potential growth or conflict in future interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

Patsey's internal goal is to endure the pain and suffering she is experiencing without breaking down emotionally. This reflects her resilience and strength in the face of extreme adversity.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to survive and navigate the dangerous and oppressive environment of the plantation without drawing unwanted attention or punishment.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict in the scene is primarily ideological, with Epps and Bass engaging in a heated debate over the morality of slavery. The tension between their opposing views drives the narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, power struggles, and moral dilemmas that create tension and uncertainty about the characters' fates.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes in the scene revolve around the moral implications of slavery and the characters' conflicting beliefs. The outcome of the philosophical debate could have far-reaching consequences for the narrative.

Story Forward: 7

The scene contributes to the overall narrative by deepening the thematic exploration of slavery and human rights. It sets up future conflicts and character dynamics that will impact the story's progression.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics, the unexpected revelations, and the moral ambiguity of the characters' choices.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Bass, who believes in the inherent humanity and rights of the slaves, and Epps, who sees them as property to be owned and controlled. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about the morality of slavery and the treatment of fellow human beings.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7.5

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from anger to contemplation, as the characters grapple with profound ethical questions. The confrontation and reflection add depth to the emotional resonance of the scene.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is sharp, engaging, and thought-provoking. It effectively conveys the conflicting ideologies of the characters and adds depth to their personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional stakes, the philosophical debates, and the dynamic interactions between the characters that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-crafted, with a balance of tension-building moments, emotional beats, and character interactions that maintain the momentum and drive the story forward.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions that enhance the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear progression of events and character interactions that build tension and conflict.


Critique
  • The scene effectively juxtaposes the physical suffering of Patsey with the philosophical debate between Epps and Bass, highlighting the moral complexities of slavery. However, the transition from Patsey's agony to the conversation feels abrupt. The emotional weight of Patsey's suffering could be better integrated into the dialogue that follows, perhaps by having Solomon reflect on her pain during the conversation.
  • The dialogue between Epps and Bass is rich and thought-provoking, but it risks overshadowing the emotional core of the scene. While the philosophical arguments are important, they could be balanced with more visceral reactions from Solomon or other slaves, emphasizing their immediate suffering and the stakes involved in the conversation.
  • The character of Bass is introduced with a detailed description, but his motivations and background could be further developed. Providing a brief backstory or context for his views on slavery would enhance his character and make his arguments more impactful.
  • Epps's characterization as a cruel and dismissive slave owner is clear, but the scene could benefit from more subtlety in his portrayal. Instead of solely relying on his emotional outbursts, showing moments of insecurity or doubt could add depth to his character and make him more complex.
  • The visual elements of the scene are strong, particularly the contrast between the serene plantation setting and the brutality of slavery. However, incorporating more sensory details—such as the sounds of the plantation, the heat of the sun, or the physical strain of the slaves—could further immerse the audience in the environment.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief moment where Solomon reflects on Patsey's suffering during the conversation between Epps and Bass, creating a stronger emotional connection between the two narrative threads.
  • Balance the philosophical dialogue with more immediate reactions from Solomon or other slaves, perhaps showing their discomfort or fear as they overhear the conversation, to maintain the emotional stakes.
  • Develop Bass's character further by including a line or two that hints at his background or personal experiences with slavery, making his arguments more relatable and grounded.
  • Introduce more complexity to Epps's character by including subtle moments of doubt or insecurity, which could humanize him and make his cruelty more impactful.
  • Enhance the sensory details in the scene to create a more immersive experience for the audience, such as describing the oppressive heat, the sounds of labor, or the physical toll on the slaves.



Scene 57 - A Desperate Plea for Freedom
INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE/ADDITION -
EVENING
Solomon and Bass are working together alone on the
extension. From the amount of work that's been done on
it, it should be obvious that days have now passed.
Solomon makes a cautious approach to Bass. As casually
as he can he inquires:
SOLOMON
Master Bass, I want to ask you
what part of the country you came
from?
BASS
What put that into your head?
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 129.

SOLOMON
You would know if I should tell
you.
BASS
I was born in Canada. Now guess
where that is.
SOLOMON
Oh, I know where Canada is. I
have been there myself.
BASS
Have you?
SOLOMON
Montreal and Kingston and
Queenston and a great many places.
And I have been in York state,
too. Buffalo and Rochester and
Albany, and can tell you the names
of the villages on the Erie canal
and the Champlain canal.
Bass gives Solomon a long and curious stare.
BASS
Well traveled for a slave. How
came you here?
SOLOMON
Master Bass, if justice had been
done I never would have been here.
BASS
How's this? Tell me all about it.
SOLOMON
I am afraid to tell you, though I
don't believe you would tell
Master Epps if I should.
BASS
Every word you speak is a profound
secret.
Solomon holds a moment. Hasn't he heard the same promise
before? Prior to Solomon stating his case, WE FADE TO:

BLACK

INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE/ADDITION -
NIGHT
The dark has fallen. Hours have passed. Bass reflects
on the story that Epps has told in the intervening.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 130.

BASS
How many years all told?
SOLOMON
Just nearly...just passed eleven.
BASS
Your story is...it is amazing, and
in no good way.
SOLOMON
Do you believe, sir, in justice as
you have said?
BASS
I do.
SOLOMON
That slavery is an evil that
should befall none?
BASS
I believe so.
SOLOMON
If you truly do, I would ask...I
would beg that you write my
friends in the north, acquainting
them with my situation and
beseeching them to forward free
papers, or take such steps as they
might consider proper to secure my
release.
Bass is somewhat overwhelmed by what Solomon has just
told him. It takes him a moment to reconcile its
magnitude.
BASS
You understand the danger of such
an act in case of detection. Your
story, true or not; what we
attempt is punishable in the
strictest way.
SOLOMON
I understand.
BASS
And you understand as well the
necessity of strict silence and
secrecy.
SOLOMON
Yes.
BASS
I need to take note; names and
addresses of those you think can
(MORE)
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 131.
BASS (CONT'D)
aide you. Not here, not now. Can
you sneak away in the night?
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In the evening at Master Epps's plantation, Solomon and Bass work together on an extension, revealing the passage of time. Solomon cautiously asks Bass about his travels and shares his own plight of being enslaved for nearly eleven years. He pleads for Bass to write to his friends in the North for help, acknowledging the risks involved. Bass, surprised by Solomon's knowledge and situation, considers the dangers of aiding him. The scene ends with Bass requesting names and addresses of potential allies, marking the start of a secret plan for Solomon's escape.
Strengths
  • Engaging dialogue
  • Complex characters
  • Tense atmosphere
Weaknesses
  • Limited physical action
  • Reliance on dialogue for tension

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.7

The scene is well-crafted, with a strong focus on character development, plot progression, and thematic depth. The dialogue is engaging, and the tension between Solomon and Bass adds intrigue to the narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of seeking help through a secret letter in the context of slavery is compelling and thought-provoking, adding depth to the characters and the overall narrative.

Plot: 8.6

The plot of the scene is driven by Solomon's desperate attempt to secure his freedom, leading to a tense interaction with Bass that raises the stakes and advances the overarching story.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the themes of slavery and justice, presenting a nuanced portrayal of the characters' struggles and beliefs. The authenticity of the dialogue and actions adds depth and realism to the narrative.


Character Development

Characters: 8.9

The characters of Solomon and Bass are well-developed, with complex motivations and conflicting emotions that drive the scene forward and add layers of depth to their interactions.

Character Changes: 8

Both Solomon and Bass undergo subtle changes in their perspectives and actions during the scene, setting the stage for further development and conflict in the narrative.

Internal Goal: 9

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to seek justice and freedom. His desire to be released from slavery and his belief in the importance of justice drive his actions and dialogue.

External Goal: 8

Solomon's external goal is to secure his release from slavery by reaching out to his friends in the north for help. This goal reflects the immediate challenge he faces in trying to escape his oppressive situation.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8.7

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as Solomon grapples with the risks of seeking help for his freedom while Bass navigates his own moral convictions and obligations.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Bass presenting obstacles and challenges to Solomon's plea for help. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of the outcome.

High Stakes: 9

The high stakes in the scene revolve around Solomon's risky attempt to secure his freedom through a secret letter, with the potential consequences of discovery adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing a new plot development and raising the stakes for the characters, setting the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' conflicting beliefs and the uncertain outcome of Solomon's plea for help. The audience is left wondering how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the belief in justice and the morality of slavery. Solomon and Bass discuss the evils of slavery and the importance of seeking justice, highlighting the clash between their values and the societal norms of the time.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8.6

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from hope and desperation to resignation and determination, creating a powerful and poignant moment in the story.

Dialogue: 8.7

The dialogue in the scene is engaging and meaningful, revealing the inner thoughts and struggles of the characters while advancing the plot and exploring important themes.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional stakes, moral dilemmas, and the characters' compelling interactions. The audience is drawn into the characters' struggles and desires.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, allowing the characters' dialogue and actions to unfold naturally and impactfully.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue that enhance the overall narrative flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a well-paced and structured format, effectively building tension and emotional depth through the characters' interactions and dialogue.


Critique
  • The dialogue between Solomon and Bass effectively establishes a sense of camaraderie and trust, which is crucial given the stakes of their conversation. However, the pacing feels a bit slow, particularly in the transition from Solomon's cautious inquiry to the more serious discussion about his plight. This could be tightened to maintain tension and urgency.
  • While Solomon's extensive knowledge of geography serves to highlight his intelligence and past life, it may come off as slightly unrealistic for a slave to have traveled so extensively without a more profound emotional reaction to his current situation. This could be an opportunity to deepen Solomon's character by reflecting on his memories of freedom more explicitly.
  • The scene's setting shifts from day to night, which is a strong visual cue for the passage of time and the growing tension. However, the transition could be more pronounced with a brief description of the changing atmosphere, perhaps incorporating sounds or visuals that reflect the encroaching danger of their conversation.
  • Bass's character is introduced as a sympathetic figure, but his motivations and background remain vague. Providing a bit more context about Bass's own views on slavery or his past could enhance his character and make the audience more invested in his willingness to help Solomon.
  • The dialogue is generally strong, but some lines could be more concise. For example, Solomon's explanation of his travels could be shortened to maintain the flow of the conversation and keep the audience engaged. This would also help to emphasize the gravity of his request for help.
Suggestions
  • Consider tightening the dialogue to enhance the pacing and maintain tension. Focus on the most impactful lines that convey the urgency of Solomon's situation.
  • Add a brief moment of reflection from Solomon after he mentions his travels, allowing him to express a sense of loss or longing for his past life, which would deepen his character and emotional stakes.
  • Enhance the transition from day to night with sensory details that reflect the change in mood, such as the sounds of the plantation quieting down or the oppressive darkness settling in.
  • Provide more background on Bass to give the audience a clearer understanding of his character and motivations. This could be done through a few lines of dialogue or a brief internal monologue.
  • Edit Solomon's dialogue about his travels to be more concise, focusing on key locations that emphasize his intelligence and past life without overwhelming the audience with details.



Scene 58 - Flickering Hopes and Fading Paths
INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/KITCHEN - DAY
From the kitchen, we see Solomon stealing a candle and
some matches.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION - NIGHT
Solomon is alone in the dark at the riverbank. He lights
the candle. Waits... After a short while someone
approaches. Solomon nervously expects discovery, but it
is Bass.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION - LATER
By the light of the candle Bass, armed with paper and a
writing instrument, writes as Solomon gives him names.
SOLOMON
...William Perry, Cephas Parker
and Judge Marvin, all of Saratoga
Springs, Saratoga county, New
York. I had been employed by the
later in the United States Hotel,
and had transacted business with
the former a considerable extent,
and trust that at least one of
them would be still living at that
place.
BASS
It is so many years since you left
Saratoga. All these men may be
dead, or may have removed. You
say you obtained papers at the
Custom House in New York.
Probably there is a record of them
there. And I think it would be
well to write and ascertain. I
will take the letters to
Marksville and post them from
there. After that, I must travel.
I will return to Marksville in ten
week's time. I will enquire then
about responses before returning
here.
They sit on the banks quietly for a time as they absorb
the enormity of their undertaking. Finally, from
Solomon, a hint of hopeful emotion creeps forth though it
is dispensed in a very matter-of-fact fashion.
SOLOMON
It would be unspeakable happiness
to clasp my wife and family again.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 132.

BLACK

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE/ADDITION - DAY
The addition is well on its way to being finished.
Slaves continue to work on it, Solomon in particular. As
they work, Bass comes riding up on a horse. Solomon
tries to remain calm but we can see the anxiety building
in him.
Bass talks with Avery a bit, then makes his way casually
to Solomon. His news is not good.
BASS
No letter yet, Platt.
SOLOMON
You are certain?
This hits Solomon hard. Recovering, emphatic:
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
Write again.
BASS
No use.
SOLOMON
There is every use. My freedom.
BASS
No use. I have made up my mind to
that. I fear the Marksville post
master will mistrust something, I
have inquired so often at his
office. Too uncertain. Too
dangerous. I have talked too
openly of freedom for niggers. I
have concern for my own life now.
My beliefs have struck up against
my fears. I will be honest that
my fears preside.
Solomon just then begins to realize the finality of the
situation. The truth of that is clear, though Bass
cannot articulate it. Instead:
BASS (CONT'D)
I have a job or two on hand which
can be completed shortly. By that
time I shall have a considerable
sum of money, and then, Platt, I
am leaving. I have lived in this
region long enough. I am tired of
slavery as well as you. ...I go
with a heavy heart that I could do
no more for you.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 133.

With much regret for his own failure of effort and
spirit, Bass moves on.

INT. MARKSVILLE POST OFFICE - DAY
We are in the office of MR. WADDILL, the Post Master of
Marksville. At the moment he is seated across from Mr
HENRY NORTHUP. The careful eye will recognize him.
At the moment the conversation is regarding a book which
Waddill holds - Uncle Tom's Cabin.
WADDILL
It's liberal fantasy, of course.
Some call it literature. To my
way of thinking it's sedition.
Incredible that we have come this
far. Or sunk this low; there is a
true and genuine market for such
twaddle. Dangerous days, sir.
Dangerous. Far too much
politickin'. The Soft Shells, the
Hard Shells, the Hunkers and Barn
Burners and Woolly Heads and
Silver Grays... And the worst of
the lot; the Free Soilers and the
Abolitionists. They take root
like a malignant plant. The north
is lost to us. No offense.
Northup gives a noncommittal nod.
WADDILL (CONT'D)
It is the territories we must hang
on to, now. And by any measure.
NORTHUP
The Free Soilers, the
Abolitionists; you are liberated
of such kind yourself?
WADDILL
Delightfully. Never...but one
here in Marksville. An eccentric
creature who preaches abolitionism
as vehemently as any fanatic in
the North I would imagine. He is
otherwise a generous, inoffensive
man. But always maintaining the
wrong side of an argument. It
affords us a deal of amusement.
He is an excellent mechanic, and
almost indispensable in the
community. He is a carpenter.
Name a Bass.
NORTHUP
He has become familiar with me.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 134.

Waddill gives a look, but before he can respond, Northup
asks:
NORTHUP (CONT'D)
Where may I find this Mr. Bass?
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In this tense scene, Solomon steals a candle and matches to meet Bass at the riverbank, where they discuss potential contacts in Saratoga Springs that could aid Solomon's quest for freedom. Despite Solomon's hope for a letter that might reunite him with his family, Bass returns later with disappointing news and expresses his fears about the risks of their correspondence, ultimately deciding to leave the area. The scene shifts to the Marksville post office, where Mr. Waddill discusses abolitionism with Henry Northup, mentioning Bass's involvement, hinting at the broader implications of Solomon's struggle.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Compelling dialogue
  • Character development
  • Exploration of themes
Weaknesses
  • Uncertainty of outcome
  • Limited resolution

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 8.5

The scene effectively conveys the emotional weight of Solomon's failed attempt to secure his freedom, the tension between hope and despair, and the complex dynamics of the abolitionist movement. The dialogue is poignant and thought-provoking, adding depth to the characters and the overall narrative.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of seeking freedom through clandestine communication with an abolitionist is compelling and adds layers of complexity to the narrative. The scene explores themes of hope, despair, and the moral dilemmas faced by individuals in the face of oppression.

Plot: 8

The plot of the scene revolves around Solomon's desperate attempt to secure his freedom through Bass's assistance, adding a sense of urgency and emotional depth to the story. The interaction between the characters drives the narrative forward and sets the stage for future developments.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the challenges of slavery and the complexities of human relationships, with authentic dialogue and nuanced character interactions.


Character Development

Characters: 8.5

The characters of Solomon and Bass are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations that drive the scene forward. Their emotional struggles and conflicting desires are portrayed with authenticity, adding depth to their interactions.

Character Changes: 8

Solomon experiences a shift in his perspective and emotions as he grapples with the failure of his plan for freedom and the realization of the challenges ahead. Bass also undergoes a transformation in his beliefs and actions, reflecting the complexities of their situation.

Internal Goal: 9

Solomon's internal goal is to reunite with his wife and family, reflecting his deep desire for freedom, love, and connection.

External Goal: 8

Solomon's external goal is to secure his freedom by sending letters to potential allies in the North, reflecting the immediate challenge of navigating the dangers of slavery and finding trustworthy allies.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The scene contains internal and external conflicts, including Solomon's internal struggle for freedom, the external obstacles posed by the political climate, and the moral dilemmas faced by Bass. The tension between hope and despair adds depth to the narrative.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with internal and external obstacles that challenge the protagonist's goals and create suspense for the audience.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as Solomon and Bass risk their lives and freedom in their attempt to communicate secretly and secure liberation. The consequences of failure are severe, adding tension and urgency to their actions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by advancing Solomon's quest for freedom, deepening the character dynamics between Solomon and Bass, and setting the stage for future developments. The revelation of the failed letter exchange adds a new layer of complexity to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' decisions and the uncertain outcomes of their actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict is evident in Bass's internal struggle between his beliefs in freedom and his fears for his own safety, challenging his values and worldview.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking feelings of regret, hope, and anxiety in the audience. The characters' emotional struggles, the stakes of their actions, and the larger themes of freedom and oppression resonate deeply with the viewer.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue in the scene is poignant, thought-provoking, and emotionally resonant, capturing the characters' inner turmoil and the larger themes of freedom and oppression. The conversations between Solomon and Bass reveal their hopes, fears, and moral dilemmas.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, suspenseful moments, and character-driven conflicts that keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene builds tension effectively, with a balance of slower moments for emotional impact and faster moments for plot progression.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting adheres to the expected format for a historical drama, with clear scene headings and descriptive action lines.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined beats that advance the plot and develop the characters effectively.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and highlights the stakes of Solomon's situation, but it could benefit from deeper emotional resonance. The dialogue between Solomon and Bass is functional but lacks a sense of urgency and desperation that would enhance the gravity of their predicament. The emotional weight of Solomon's longing for his family could be more vividly expressed through his internal thoughts or flashbacks, allowing the audience to connect more deeply with his plight.
  • The pacing of the scene feels uneven. The transition from the hopeful moment of Solomon providing names to the subsequent disappointment of no letters arriving could be more fluid. Consider adding a moment of silence or a visual cue that emphasizes the weight of Solomon's hope being dashed, which would enhance the emotional impact.
  • While the dialogue serves its purpose, it could be more dynamic. The characters' interactions feel somewhat static, and the stakes could be raised by incorporating more physicality or visual storytelling. For instance, showing Solomon's body language—his nervousness, hope, and eventual despair—could add layers to the scene that dialogue alone cannot convey.
  • The introduction of the Marksville post office scene feels abrupt. A smoother transition that connects the emotional fallout of Solomon and Bass's conversation to the political discussions at the post office would create a more cohesive narrative flow. This could involve a brief moment where Solomon reflects on the implications of their conversation before the scene shifts.
Suggestions
  • Incorporate internal monologue or flashbacks for Solomon to express his longing for his family more vividly, allowing the audience to feel his emotional stakes.
  • Add a moment of silence or a visual cue after Solomon learns there are no letters, emphasizing the weight of his dashed hopes.
  • Enhance the physicality of the scene by showing Solomon's body language and expressions, which can convey his emotional state more effectively than dialogue alone.
  • Create a smoother transition to the Marksville post office scene by including a brief reflection from Solomon that connects his situation to the broader political context, enhancing narrative cohesion.



Scene 59 - A Hopeful Reunion
EXT. STREET - EVENING
Bass is exiting his residence. Northup, who has been
waiting, calls to him.
NORTHUP
Mr. Bass?
Bass looks. He does not recognize Northup and is
cautious to say the least.
BASS
Are we acquainted?
NORTHUP
We are not. To the point: Allow
me to ask you if you were on Bayou
Boeuf last August.
BASS
Yes, sir. I was there in August.
NORTHUP
Did you write a letter for a
colored man at that place to some
gentlemen in Saratoga Springs?
BASS
Excuse me, sir, if I say that is
none of your business.
NORTHUP
Perhaps I'm rather hasty, Mr.
Bass. I beg your pardon. But I
have come from the state of New
York to accomplish the purpose of
the writer of a letter post marked
at Marksville. I am in search of
Solomon Northup. If you know him,
I beg you to inform me frankly
where he is, and I assure you the
source of any information you may
give me shall not be divulged if
you desire it not to be.
Bass considers his next words.
BASS
I have done nothing to be ashamed
of. I am the man who wrote the
letter. If you have come to
rescue Solomon Northup, I am glad
to see you.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 135.

EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/FIELD - DAY
The Slaves are working in the field. Solomon too focused
on picking cotton to note the arrival of two men by
carriage: Northup and the SHERIFF.
While the Sheriff makes his way to the field, Northup
remains with the carriage. The Sheriff calls:
SHERIFF
Platt...? Where is the boy called
Platt?
SOLOMON
...Sir...
The Sheriff crosses to him.
SHERIFF
Your name is Platt, is it?
SOLOMON
Yes, master.
Pointing off to the distance.
SHERIFF
Do you know that man?
Solomon looks toward the carriage. He has to shield his
eyes from the sun. Recognition is slow coming to him.
But when it does, it hits him as a rush.
SOLOMON
Henry Northup...?
Solomon starts for Northup, but he is pulled back by the
Sheriff who is keen to determine Solomon's true identity.
As he does, Epps makes his way over.
SHERIFF
Stop a moment. Have you any other
name than Platt?
SOLOMON
Solomon Northup is my name.
EPPS
Sheriff...
SHERIFF
Have you a family?
EPPS
What's all this?
SHERIFF
It is official business.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 136.

EPPS
My nigger, my business.
SHERIFF
Your business waits.
(to Solomon)
Tell me of your family.
SOLOMON
I have a wife and three children.
SHERIFF
What were their names?
SOLOMON
Elizabeth, Margaret and Alonzo.
SHERIFF
And your wife's name before her
marriage?
SOLOMON
Anne Hampton. I am who I say.
Solomon pushes past the sheriff. As Solomon moves toward
Northup, his pace quickens with each step until his
personal velocity has him nearly at a dead run. The two
old friends make contact with each other, wrap each other
in a long and emotional embrace. It if finally broken by
Epps, who has moved over with the Sheriff.
EPPS
Nah... You will unhand 'em.
Platt is my nigger!
NORTHUP
He is Solomon Northup.
EPPS
You say...
NORTHUP
He belongs to no man.
EPPS
You say! You come here,
unfamiliar to me, and make claims.
SHERIFF
Not claims. I have no doubts.
EPPS
To hell with that! My nigger, and
I'll fight you for 'em!
NORTHUP
As is your right. As it will be
my pleasure to bankrupt you in the
courts. Your decision.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 137.

Epps stews for a moment, then seethes toward Solomon:
EPPS
You damned me since you darkened
my eaves. Glad to be done with
yah.
(to Northup)
Take 'em!
SHERIFF
If you know what's wise...we'll
leave.
The trio starts for the carriage. Solomon is pulled back
by the call of Patsey's voice:
PATSEY
Platt...
NORTHUP
We need to make haste.
Disregarding Northup, Solomon crosses over to Patsey.
For a moment they just stand across from each other.
Under the circumstances, neither really knows how to
engage. Finally, suddenly, Patsey throws her arms around
Solomon and they embrace. With all the pain in his heart:
A moment longer they hold each other. They separate,
Solomon heading back to the carriage. He and Northup
alight, the Sheriff taking the reigns. The Sheriff
chides the horses and they start up. As they move on,
Patsey sinks down to the ground, where she remains in a
weary and half-reclining state, the other slaves around
her.
WE STAY WITH HIM as he travels further and further from
the slaves - who are diminished by distance. Solomon
waves a hand to them, but the carriage rounds a bend and
a thicket of trees hides them from his eyes forever more.

BLACK
Genres: ["Drama","Historical"]

Summary In this poignant scene, Northup seeks help from Bass to rescue Solomon Northup. After confirming Solomon's identity, they face opposition from Epps, who claims Solomon as his property. With the Sheriff supporting Northup's assertion, Solomon is finally freed. The emotional reunion between Solomon and Northup is contrasted with a heartbreaking farewell to Patsey, symbolizing the pain of separation as Solomon leaves the plantation behind.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Tension
  • Character development
  • Pivotal confrontation
Weaknesses
  • Potential for violence
  • Historical accuracy concerns

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is powerful, emotionally charged, and pivotal in the story. It effectively conveys the themes of friendship, identity, and resistance, earning a high rating.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of reuniting friends and confronting oppression is compelling and well-executed. It explores themes of identity, friendship, and resistance in a poignant manner.

Plot: 9

The plot progresses significantly in this scene, with the reunion of Solomon and Northup leading to a confrontation with Master Epps. It drives the story forward and adds depth to the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the struggles of enslaved individuals, highlighting the complexities of identity, freedom, and human dignity. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and compelling, adding to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9.2

The characters are well-developed, with Solomon's emotional reunion with Northup and defiance towards Epps showcasing growth and strength. The interactions are authentic and impactful.

Character Changes: 9

Solomon undergoes emotional growth and defiance in the face of oppression, showcasing resilience and strength. The reunion with Northup and confrontation with Epps mark significant changes.

Internal Goal: 9

Solomon's internal goal in this scene is to reunite with his friend Northup and assert his true identity as a free man. This reflects his deeper desire for freedom, dignity, and connection to his past life.

External Goal: 8

Solomon's external goal is to prove his identity to the Sheriff and plantation owner, Epps, in order to secure his freedom and protect himself from further harm.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Solomon, Northup, Epps, and the Sheriff is intense and drives the scene forward. The emotional and ideological clashes heighten the tension and drama.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting interests, power struggles, and moral dilemmas driving the conflict. The audience is kept in suspense as the characters navigate difficult choices and confrontations.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, with Solomon's identity, freedom, and relationships on the line. The confrontation with Epps and the Sheriff intensifies the risks and consequences.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by reuniting Solomon with Northup, confronting oppression, and setting the stage for potential liberation. It adds depth and complexity to the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics, unexpected revelations, and moral ambiguity. The audience is kept on edge as the characters navigate complex choices and confrontations.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the clash between the belief in human rights, freedom, and dignity versus the dehumanizing institution of slavery. Solomon and Northup represent the values of justice and equality, while Epps embodies the oppressive system of slavery.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking sadness, hope, and defiance in the characters and the audience. The reunion, confrontation, and emotional depth resonate strongly.

Dialogue: 8.8

The dialogue is tense, emotional, and confrontational, effectively conveying the characters' emotions and motivations. It adds depth to the scene and enhances the conflict.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional intensity, moral dilemmas, and high stakes. The conflict between characters, the sense of urgency, and the resolution of long-standing tensions keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a gradual build-up of tension, emotional peaks, and a satisfying resolution. The rhythm of the dialogue and action sequences enhances the scene's effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear, concise, and easy to follow. It adheres to the standard screenplay format for dialogue, action, and scene transitions.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively builds tension, reveals character motivations, and advances the plot. It follows the expected format for a dramatic confrontation in a historical setting.


Critique
  • The scene effectively builds tension and anticipation as Northup seeks out Bass, creating a sense of urgency in his quest for freedom. However, the dialogue could benefit from more subtext to enhance the emotional stakes. For instance, Northup's desperation could be more palpable through his body language and tone, rather than relying solely on the dialogue.
  • Bass's initial caution is well-portrayed, but his transition from suspicion to willingness to help feels somewhat abrupt. A more gradual shift in his demeanor could add depth to his character and make the moment feel more earned. Perhaps including a moment of internal conflict or hesitation before he agrees to assist Northup would enhance the realism of the interaction.
  • The introduction of the Sheriff adds an interesting layer of authority, but his character could be fleshed out further. As it stands, he feels somewhat one-dimensional. Providing him with a distinct personality or motivation could make his presence more impactful and create additional tension in the scene.
  • The emotional reunion between Solomon and Northup is powerful, but it could be heightened by incorporating more sensory details. Describing the environment, such as the sounds of the plantation or the physical sensations of the embrace, would immerse the audience further into the moment.
  • The scene's pacing is generally effective, but the transition from the conversation with Bass to the plantation could be smoother. A brief moment of reflection for Northup before he moves on could emphasize the weight of the situation and the stakes involved.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding more subtext to the dialogue, allowing characters to convey their emotions through body language and tone rather than explicit statements.
  • Introduce Bass's internal conflict more clearly before he agrees to help Northup, perhaps by showing his hesitation or fear of the consequences.
  • Develop the Sheriff's character further by giving him a distinct personality trait or motivation that influences his actions in the scene.
  • Incorporate sensory details to enhance the emotional impact of the reunion between Solomon and Northup, making the moment feel more visceral.
  • Smooth the transition between the conversation with Bass and the arrival at the plantation by including a moment of reflection for Northup, emphasizing the gravity of the situation.



Scene 60 - A Bittersweet Reunion
INT. NORTHUP HOUSE - DAY
It is a scene reminiscent of the top of the show. The
Northup family gathered. Anne, again, in her finest
attire. We see, also, the Northup children: Elizabeth,
who is now twenty two, Margaret who is now twenty -SHE
CARRIES WITH HER A BUNDLE - and Alonzo who is seventeen.
Also present is MARGARET'S HUSBAND. The family waits
patiently, dutifully...but anxiously.
THE DOOR TO THE ROOM OPENS. It is Mr. Northup. He looks
from face to face, makes sure all are prepared for what's
to come. Northup steps from the room. ...A moment later
SOLOMON ENTERS. He is clean, well dressed, but he bears
the scares of his time away.
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 138.

Anne rises to greet him, but holds back. All around, the
body language of the family is stiff and awkward. They
are, after all - after twelve years - little more than
familiar strangers.
In an effort to minimize the shock of the moment, Solomon
tries to remain emotionally detached. To Anne:
SOLOMON
I apologize for my appearance. I
have had a difficult time of
things these past many years.
Solomon looks among his family. Trying to recall them as
much as they look to see familiarity within him.
SOLOMON (CONT'D)
Elizabeth. Margaret. Alonzo.
You do not recognize me, do you?
How could you? When I was removed
you were but seven; a little
prattling girl playing with her
toys. Now...you've grown to
womanhood. And who is this?
MARGARET
He is my husband.
SOLOMON
Husband?
MARGARET'S HUSBAND
It is very good to meet you, sir.
Solomon almost breaks, but he keeps himself together.
SOLOMON
We have much acquainting to do.
Margaret rises, she presents her bundle to her father.
MARGARET
And this is your grandson.
Solomon Northup Staunton.
SOLOMON
...Solomon...
MARGARET
We would have no other name for
him. No other.
As much as Solomon was trying to keep his emotions in
check, the sight of his grandson... The fact his
grandson carries his name, is overwhelming. Solomon
breaks down. Emotionally, physically... But ANNE IS
THERE TO CATCH HIM. To lift his body and his spirit.
But even at that their "embrace" remains a bit chaste,
slightly formal. But has she holds him, Anne's fingers
BRUSH THE BURNS ON SOLOMON'S LEFT FOREARM. She pushes up
12 Years a Slave 05.18.11 139.

Solomon's sleeve, she looks at the marks, the flower...
Anne know exactly what it means and why it is on his arm.
In that instant Solomon can no longer maintain his cool
facade. The moment so very overwhelming, Solomon seeks
solace in it. He says to Anne with all his heart:
SOLOMON
Forgive me.
ANNE
There is nothing to forgive.
The pair, joined now by the whole family, hold on to each
other for life...and one would think for all the rest of
their lives.
FADE TO:

BLACK
END
Genres: ["Drama"]

Summary The Northup family anxiously awaits the return of Solomon after twelve years apart. As he enters, the emotional distance is palpable, especially with his children, who have grown up without him. Solomon's traumatic past is evident, but a heartfelt moment occurs when Anne supports him, recognizing his scars and assuring him he has nothing to be forgiven for. The family shares an emotional embrace, symbolizing love, connection, and hope for the future despite their struggles.
Strengths
  • Emotional depth
  • Powerful performances
  • Family bonds portrayed authentically
Weaknesses
  • Limited plot progression
  • Lack of external conflict

Ratings
Overall

Overall: 9.2

The scene is incredibly powerful and moving, capturing the raw emotions of the characters and the long-awaited reunion between Solomon and his family. The depth of emotion, the forgiveness, and the healing that occur make this scene a standout moment in the screenplay.


Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of the scene, focusing on the emotional reunion of a long-separated family, is executed with sensitivity and depth. The themes of forgiveness, healing, and the resilience of the human spirit are effectively explored, making for a compelling and emotionally resonant scene.

Plot: 8.5

While the plot of the scene is relatively simple, the emotional depth and character development that occur during the reunion make it a crucial moment in the overall story. The scene serves to highlight Solomon's journey and the impact of his experiences on his family.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh approach to the reunion trope by exploring the emotional complexities of a family reunion after a long separation. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.


Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters in the scene are well-developed and their emotions are portrayed with authenticity and depth. The reunion between Solomon and his family allows for significant character growth and showcases the strength of their relationships.

Character Changes: 8

The scene showcases significant character changes, particularly in Solomon as he reunites with his family and confronts his past. The emotional journey of forgiveness and healing leads to profound growth and transformation.

Internal Goal: 8

Solomon's internal goal is to reconnect with his family members and come to terms with the changes that have occurred during his absence. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance, understanding, and emotional connection.

External Goal: 7.5

Solomon's external goal is to reintegrate into his family and establish new relationships with his grown children and grandson. This reflects the immediate challenge of adapting to a changed family dynamic.


Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

While there is emotional tension in the scene, particularly in Solomon's internal struggle and the family's initial awkwardness, the primary focus is on resolution and healing rather than external conflict.

Opposition: 7.5

The opposition in the scene is strong in terms of the emotional barriers and conflicts that the characters face, creating uncertainty and tension in their interactions.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes in the scene are primarily emotional, focusing on the healing and reconciliation of Solomon and his family. While there is tension and uncertainty, the primary focus is on the emotional resolution rather than external threats.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene does not significantly advance the plot in terms of external events, it is crucial for character development and emotional depth. The reunion sets the stage for the next phase of Solomon's journey and highlights the importance of family bonds.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable in terms of the characters' emotional reactions and the gradual unfolding of the family dynamics, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of forgiveness, acceptance, and the passage of time. Solomon's struggle to reconnect with his family members and come to terms with the changes challenges his beliefs about family bonds and personal identity.


Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9.5

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking strong feelings of love, sorrow, and hope in the audience. The raw emotions displayed by the characters and the powerful reunion create a deeply moving and memorable moment.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in the scene is heartfelt and poignant, effectively conveying the emotions of the characters and the depth of their relationships. While not overly complex, the dialogue serves its purpose in highlighting the emotional impact of the reunion.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its emotional depth, complex relationships, and gradual reveal of the characters' inner struggles and conflicts.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension, reveals emotional layers, and allows for moments of reflection and connection between the characters, enhancing its overall effectiveness.


Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a family reunion scene, with a gradual buildup of tension, emotional revelations, and a cathartic resolution.


Critique
  • The emotional weight of the scene is palpable, effectively capturing the tension and awkwardness of a family reuniting after a long separation. However, the dialogue could be further refined to enhance the emotional impact. For instance, Solomon's initial apology for his appearance feels somewhat detached and could be more personal, reflecting his deep emotional scars rather than just a physical one.
  • The use of body language is strong, but it could be complemented with more internal thoughts or flashbacks from Solomon to provide context for his emotional state. This would help the audience connect more deeply with his character and the trauma he has endured.
  • The introduction of Margaret's husband feels a bit abrupt. A brief moment of acknowledgment or a line that reflects Solomon's surprise or confusion about his daughter's marriage could add depth to the family dynamics and highlight the passage of time.
  • The moment when Solomon sees his grandson is powerful, but the transition into his emotional breakdown could be more gradual. Perhaps incorporating a brief pause or a moment of silence before he breaks down would heighten the tension and make the release of emotion feel more earned.
  • The ending, while poignant, could benefit from a stronger visual or symbolic element to signify the family's reunion and the healing process. For example, a close-up of the flower tattoo on Solomon's arm as he embraces his family could serve as a powerful reminder of his past and the journey ahead.
Suggestions
  • Consider adding a brief internal monologue for Solomon as he enters the room, reflecting on his fears and hopes for the reunion. This would provide insight into his emotional state and enhance audience empathy.
  • Refine the dialogue to make it more personal and reflective of the characters' emotional journeys. For example, instead of Solomon simply apologizing for his appearance, he could express how much he has missed them and how he feels like a stranger in his own home.
  • Introduce Margaret's husband with a line that acknowledges the time that has passed and Solomon's unfamiliarity with his daughter's life, perhaps by having him express admiration for Solomon's legacy.
  • Create a moment of silence or a pause after Solomon sees his grandson before he breaks down, allowing the weight of the moment to settle in for both him and the audience.
  • Incorporate a visual element that symbolizes the family's reunion, such as a close-up of Solomon's flower tattoo during the embrace, to reinforce the themes of trauma and healing.



Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:

solomon northup

Solomon Northup is a distinguished and introspective man, admired for his musical abilities and strong family values. He grapples with the societal constraints of slavery, showcasing a deep appreciation for his loved ones and a strong sense of responsibility. Throughout his journey, Solomon exhibits resilience and resourcefulness, navigating the complexities of his situation with intelligence and empathy. His speaking style is measured and direct, often reflecting his internal turmoil and emotional depth. As he faces harrowing changes in circumstances, his vulnerability and desperation become apparent, yet he remains defiant against oppression. Solomon's emotional journey is marked by moments of heartfelt sincerity, particularly during his reunion with family, where he showcases forgiveness and resilience, embodying the strength of the human spirit in the face of adversity.



solomon

<ul><li>Solomon is a deeply reflective and resilient man, characterized by his unwavering belief in his freedom and dignity despite the brutal realities of slavery. He navigates the oppressive environment with intelligence, resourcefulness, and a strong moral compass. Solomon's speaking style is measured and thoughtful, often employing formal language and historical references that reflect his wisdom and empathy. He exhibits a calm and composed demeanor, choosing his words carefully to navigate delicate situations, while also demonstrating moments of defiance and courage in the face of oppression. His interactions reveal a compassionate nature, particularly towards his fellow enslaved individuals, showcasing his empathy and solidarity. Throughout his journey, Solomon grapples with internal conflicts, balancing self-preservation with moral integrity, and ultimately strives for freedom and justice.</li><li>Measured, thoughtful, and formal, often using polite language and maintaining a respectful tone even in challenging circumstances. He speaks with clarity and precision, reflecting his intelligence and inner strength.</li></ul>



brown

Brown is a shrewd and intelligent man with a keen interest in music and culture. He possesses a sharp wit and a discerning eye for talent, which he uses to his advantage in the circus environment. His speaking style is confident and eloquent, characterized by precise language that conveys his thoughts effectively. Brown is also charismatic and enthusiastic, showcasing a lively and engaging dialogue that reflects his persuasive nature and passion for the circus troupe's work. He has a flair for storytelling, which he employs to entice Solomon to join the circus, emphasizing the potential rewards and excitement of the venture. As the narrative progresses, Brown becomes more practical and business-minded, focusing on the logistics and outcomes of their situation, with a straightforward and goal-oriented speaking style that drives the narrative forward.



hamilton

Hamilton is a younger man with a fair complexion and light eyes, presenting a slightly effeminate appearance accentuated by his garish clothing choices. He speaks with a refined tone, often infused with a touch of flamboyance that reflects his vibrant personality. As a member of the circus troupe, Hamilton embodies a supportive and diplomatic spirit, emphasizing the benefits of joining their company to others, particularly Solomon. His dialogue is consistently polite and encouraging, showcasing his role as a mediator and facilitator. He is practical and business-minded, focusing on the logistics and advantages of the circus offer, which adds a sense of realism to the narrative. Hamilton balances the exuberance of his companions, Brown and Solomon, with a grounded approach, providing practical advice and fostering camaraderie. In moments of darkness, he serves as a comforting presence, using a soothing and reassuring speaking style that contrasts with the more intense elements of the story.



john

John is a complex character who embodies the struggle between hope and despair in the face of slavery. Initially, he is a silent observer, filled with resignation as he witnesses the interactions between Solomon and Clemens. His minimal speaking style conveys a deep internal turmoil and acceptance of their plight. As the story progresses, John reveals a mix of fear and determination, showcasing his loyalty to his master while grappling with the brutal reality of his captivity. His anxious and hesitant speech reflects his uncertainty and struggle to adapt to his new reality. Despite the overwhelming despair, John also exhibits moments of resilience and youthful exuberance, bringing a touch of lightness to the narrative. His energetic and playful interactions with other slaves highlight his youthful spirit, even amidst the harsh conditions they endure.



eliza

Eliza is a deeply resilient mother who has endured the heights of luxury and the depths of despair, showcasing a complex mix of strength and vulnerability. She grapples with the profound pain of separation from her children and the betrayal that led to their enslavement. Her character is marked by unwavering love and a fierce protectiveness over her family, willing to sacrifice everything to keep them together. Eliza's emotional depth is evident in her interactions with others, as she navigates her grief and desperation amidst the dehumanizing treatment of slavery. Her speaking style is emotional, direct, and passionate, often filled with anguish, sorrow, and a touch of bitterness, reflecting her inner turmoil and the harsh realities of her circumstances. Throughout her journey, she oscillates between despair and brief moments of hope, embodying the struggle of a mother fighting against injustice while mourning the loss of her children.



epps

Edwin Epps is a cruel and tyrannical plantation owner, characterized by his oppressive demeanor and lack of compassion. He revels in the dehumanization of his slaves, exerting power through fear, violence, and manipulation. Epps speaks with a harsh and commanding tone, emphasizing his authority and control over the enslaved individuals. His interactions are marked by aggression and disdain, revealing his deep-seated insecurities and emotional instability. Epps embodies the brutality of the plantation system, showcasing a volatile personality that oscillates between arrogance and defensiveness. His confrontational nature and refusal to engage in introspection highlight his unwavering belief in white supremacy, making him a complex antagonist driven by a desire for power and control.



patsey

Patsey is a young enslaved woman characterized by her exceptional cotton-picking skills and a profound inner strength that belies her vulnerable position. Throughout the narrative, she endures intense violence and oppression, yet her resilience shines through her quiet defiance. Patsey's interactions with others reveal her determination to survive despite the overwhelming hardships she faces. Her emotional turmoil is palpable, as she oscillates between moments of strength and deep despair, often expressing her pain through a speaking style filled with resignation and sorrow. Her plea for mercy underscores her desperation, while her dignity and integrity remain intact, making her a compelling and sympathetic figure in the face of unimaginable suffering.



CharacterArcCritiqueSuggestions
solomon northup Solomon's character arc begins with him as a respected free man, deeply connected to his family and community. As he is thrust into the brutal reality of slavery, he experiences a profound internal conflict between his desires for freedom and the harsh constraints imposed upon him. His journey through captivity is marked by resilience and defiance, as he refuses to yield to the brutalities of his captors. However, as he faces increasing desperation, his emotional state shifts, revealing vulnerability and pain. Ultimately, Solomon's arc culminates in a powerful reunion with his family, where he embodies forgiveness and strength, showcasing his growth from a man of dignity to one who has endured and triumphed over unimaginable hardship. While Solomon's character arc effectively captures the emotional and physical struggles of a man facing slavery, it could benefit from deeper exploration of his relationships with other characters. The screenplay could enhance the complexity of his interactions, particularly with fellow captives and oppressors, to further illustrate the nuances of his resilience and defiance. Additionally, the transition from defiance to desperation could be more gradual, allowing for a richer portrayal of his internal conflict and the psychological toll of his experiences. To improve Solomon's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that highlight his relationships with other characters, such as fellow slaves or sympathetic figures, to create a sense of community and shared struggle. This could deepen the emotional impact of his journey. Additionally, explore moments of doubt or moral conflict that challenge his resilience, allowing for a more nuanced portrayal of his internal struggles. Gradually building the tension between his hope for freedom and the reality of his situation could enhance the audience's connection to his character, making his eventual triumph more impactful.
solomon
  • Solomon begins as a dignified and reflective man, deeply respectful of his history and family, yet trapped in the harsh realities of slavery.
  • As he faces the brutalities of enslavement, Solomon's internal conflict intensifies. He grapples with his desire for freedom against the oppressive forces that seek to dehumanize him. His interactions with characters like Brown, Hamilton, and Epps reveal his struggle to maintain his dignity while navigating the power dynamics of the plantation.
  • Throughout the screenplay, Solomon evolves from a reserved and cautious individual to a more assertive and strategic character. He begins to take risks, showcasing his resourcefulness and determination to regain his freedom. His moments of defiance, particularly in his interactions with oppressors, highlight his growing strength and resilience.
  • The climax of Solomon's arc occurs when he confronts the threat of lynching and stands up to Epps, showcasing his inner strength and determination to survive. This moment solidifies his transformation from a passive victim to an active agent in his quest for freedom.
  • In the resolution, Solomon's journey culminates in a powerful reunion with Northup, where he fully embraces his identity and agency. He emerges as a symbol of resilience and hope, having navigated the complexities of his circumstances with courage and integrity.
While Solomon's character arc is compelling, it could benefit from deeper exploration of his emotional turmoil and the impact of his relationships on his journey. The screenplay presents him as resilient and resourceful, but there are moments where his internal struggles could be more vividly portrayed. Additionally, the pacing of his transformation may feel rushed in certain scenes, potentially diminishing the emotional weight of his experiences.
  • 1. Incorporate flashbacks or dream sequences that delve into Solomon's past, highlighting his life before enslavement and the emotional scars that shape his character.
  • 2. Develop his relationships with other enslaved individuals more fully, showcasing how these connections influence his decisions and emotional state throughout the narrative.
  • 3. Allow for moments of vulnerability where Solomon grapples with despair or doubt, providing a more nuanced portrayal of his resilience and making his eventual triumph feel more earned.
  • 4. Consider adding a mentor figure or ally who challenges Solomon's views and encourages his growth, providing a dynamic relationship that can further enrich his character arc.
brown Throughout the screenplay, Brown evolves from an enthusiastic and charismatic recruiter to a more grounded and practical leader within the circus troupe. Initially, he is driven by passion and the thrill of performance, eager to showcase Solomon's talents and the potential of the circus. However, as challenges arise, Brown's character arc takes him through a journey of realization where he learns the importance of balancing creativity with practicality. By the end of the feature, he emerges as a more mature and responsible figure, understanding that the success of the troupe relies not only on talent but also on effective management and teamwork. While Brown's character arc is compelling, it risks becoming predictable as he transitions from an enthusiastic recruiter to a practical leader. The initial charm and charisma may overshadow his development, making it difficult for the audience to connect with his more serious side later in the story. Additionally, the shift from a focus on creativity to practicality could benefit from more nuanced exploration, as it may come off as abrupt without sufficient buildup. To improve Brown's character arc, consider incorporating moments of vulnerability that reveal his internal struggles with the responsibilities of leadership. This could include scenes where he faces setbacks or conflicts within the troupe, allowing the audience to witness his growth more organically. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a rival character could provide contrasting perspectives on creativity and practicality, further enriching Brown's journey. Finally, ensuring that his passion for music and culture remains a driving force throughout the screenplay will help maintain his charm while allowing for deeper character development.
hamilton Hamilton begins as a supportive and diplomatic character, helping to facilitate the circus troupe's dynamics and encouraging Solomon to embrace new opportunities. As the story progresses, he faces challenges that test his practicality and emotional resilience. In a pivotal moment, he must confront his own fears and insecurities, leading him to take a more assertive role within the troupe. By the climax, Hamilton evolves from a supportive figure to a key decision-maker, demonstrating his growth in confidence and leadership. Ultimately, he learns to balance his flamboyant personality with the responsibilities of leadership, solidifying his place within the troupe and embracing his unique identity. While Hamilton's character is well-defined and serves important functions within the narrative, his arc could benefit from deeper emotional exploration. His supportive nature is commendable, but it risks making him feel secondary to more dynamic characters like Solomon and Brown. Additionally, his transformation from a supportive figure to a leader could be more pronounced, as the current arc may not fully capture the internal struggles he faces. To enhance Hamilton's character arc, consider incorporating more personal stakes that challenge his supportive demeanor. For instance, introduce a subplot where he must confront a personal fear or a past trauma that influences his ability to lead. This could create a more compelling internal conflict and allow for a richer emotional journey. Additionally, moments of vulnerability could be woven into his interactions with other characters, showcasing his growth and making his eventual transformation into a leader feel more earned and impactful.
john John's character arc follows his transformation from a fearful and uncertain slave to a more resilient individual who embraces hope and seeks redemption. Initially, he is paralyzed by fear and resignation, struggling to cope with the brutality of slavery. As he witnesses the strength and determination of Solomon, he begins to find his own voice and courage. Throughout the screenplay, John learns to balance his loyalty to his master with a growing awareness of his own worth and the possibility of freedom. By the end of the feature, he emerges as a symbol of hope and resilience, inspiring others to believe in their own potential for redemption. While John's character arc is compelling, it may benefit from deeper exploration of his internal conflicts and motivations. The transition from fear to resilience could be more gradual, allowing for moments of doubt and setbacks that make his eventual growth feel more earned. Additionally, the screenplay could delve into his relationships with other characters, particularly Solomon and Clemens, to provide a richer context for his development. To improve John's character arc, consider incorporating specific events that challenge his beliefs and force him to confront his fears. This could include pivotal moments where he must choose between loyalty and self-preservation. Additionally, enhancing his interactions with other characters can provide opportunities for growth and reflection. For instance, moments of camaraderie with fellow slaves could reinforce his youthful spirit, while conflicts with authority figures could heighten his internal struggle. Finally, a clearer resolution that highlights his newfound sense of agency and hope would strengthen the impact of his transformation.
eliza Eliza's character arc begins with her as a mother who has experienced both luxury and despair, initially showcasing her resilience but also her deep emotional scars. As the story progresses, she faces the harsh realities of slavery, leading to a profound sense of loss and grief over her children. Her journey is marked by moments of defiance and strength as she fights to protect her family, but she also experiences deep despair and longing. Ultimately, Eliza's arc culminates in a moment of clarity where she transforms her grief into a powerful resolve to seek justice and reunite with her children, embodying the spirit of a survivor who refuses to be broken by her circumstances. While Eliza's character arc is emotionally compelling and highlights the devastating impact of slavery, it risks becoming overly one-dimensional if not balanced with moments of agency and empowerment. Her journey primarily revolves around grief and loss, which, while poignant, may lead to a lack of dynamic growth. The character's resilience is evident, but there could be more exploration of her strengths and strategies for coping with her situation beyond mere survival. To improve Eliza's character arc, consider incorporating moments where she actively influences her circumstances or inspires others around her, showcasing her leadership and resourcefulness. Introduce subplots that allow her to form alliances with other characters, highlighting her ability to strategize and fight back against the injustices she faces. Additionally, explore her emotional journey in a way that allows for moments of joy or hope, even amidst despair, to create a more nuanced portrayal of her resilience. This could involve flashbacks to happier times with her children or small victories in her fight for justice, ultimately enriching her character and making her journey more dynamic.
epps Throughout the screenplay, Epps begins as a tyrannical figure who embodies the worst aspects of slavery, reveling in his power and control over the enslaved. As the story progresses, his insecurities and emotional volatility become more pronounced, leading to moments of conflict with other characters, particularly Solomon. These interactions force Epps to confront the consequences of his actions, though he ultimately remains stubborn and defensive about his beliefs. By the climax, Epps's inability to adapt or change leads to his downfall, reinforcing the destructive nature of his character and the institution he represents. While Epps is portrayed as a compelling antagonist, his character arc lacks significant development or transformation. He remains largely static, with his insecurities and brutality serving as consistent traits rather than evolving elements. This static nature may limit the emotional impact of his character, as audiences may find it difficult to engage with a villain who does not experience growth or change. To improve Epps's character arc, consider introducing moments of vulnerability or doubt that challenge his beliefs and actions. This could involve interactions with other characters that force him to confront the moral implications of slavery, leading to a potential internal conflict. Additionally, exploring his backstory could provide context for his behavior, allowing audiences to understand the roots of his cruelty. By incorporating these elements, Epps could become a more dynamic character whose eventual downfall is not only a result of his brutality but also of his failure to confront his own humanity.
patsey Patsey's character arc begins with her as a strong-willed and skilled cotton picker, showcasing her resilience amidst the brutal realities of slavery. As the story progresses, she faces escalating violence and emotional torment, leading her to a point of desperation where she contemplates ending her own life. This moment of crisis serves as a turning point, prompting her to confront her circumstances with renewed determination. Ultimately, Patsey emerges as a symbol of courage and defiance, maintaining her dignity and integrity despite the oppressive forces around her. Her journey reflects a struggle for survival and a quest for autonomy, culminating in a powerful assertion of her humanity. While Patsey's character is compelling and evokes sympathy, her arc could benefit from more nuanced development. The portrayal of her resilience is strong, but the emotional transitions between her moments of strength and despair may feel abrupt. Additionally, her interactions with other characters could be expanded to further explore her relationships and the impact of those dynamics on her character growth. The screenplay could also delve deeper into her internal conflicts, providing a richer understanding of her motivations and desires. To improve Patsey's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that highlight her relationships with other enslaved individuals and her masters, allowing for a deeper exploration of her emotional landscape. Introduce moments of agency where she actively resists her circumstances, showcasing her strength in ways beyond mere survival. Additionally, provide flashbacks or reflections that reveal her past and aspirations, creating a more rounded character. This could enhance the audience's connection to her journey and make her eventual triumphs more impactful.
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Pattern Explanation
High Emotional Impact and Dialogue QualityScenes with high emotional impact scores (8 or above) tend to also have high dialogue scores (8 or above), suggesting that strong dialogue is crucial for conveying powerful emotions. This is particularly evident in scenes 8, 11, 12, 19, 22, 29, 32, 34, 54, and 55, which achieve top marks in both categories. Conversely, scenes with lower emotional impact scores often have lower dialogue scores (scenes 3, 5, 24, 43, 60).
Conflict and High StakesThere's a strong positive correlation between conflict and high-stakes scenes. High conflict scores generally lead to high high-stakes scores. While exceptions exist, this pattern highlights the screenplay's effectiveness in building tension through conflict, leading to heightened stakes. Consider exploring scenes where this correlation breaks down (e.g., Scene 3) to understand why high conflict doesn't translate into equally high stakes.
Tone and Emotional ImpactCertain tones consistently yield high emotional impact. Tones like "Heartbreaking," "Desperate," "Intense," and "Dramatic" frequently correlate with higher emotional impact scores. Conversely, "Mundane" and "Flattery" are associated with lower scores. This indicates that the author's skill in evoking intense emotions is strongest when working within these specific tonal palettes. Exploring other tones with similar impact potential (e.g., 'Cruelty') could further enhance emotional resonance.
Concept, Plot and Character DevelopmentScenes with strong concepts and plots (scores of 8 or higher) consistently receive high marks for character development. This suggests a cohesive narrative where strong plot points drive compelling character arcs. However, scene 43 is an outlier; investigate this scene to understand why strong concept/plot didn't translate to strong character development.
Character Changes and Overall Scene GradeWhile not perfectly linear, there's a general positive relationship between significant character changes and the overall grade of the scene. Scenes with higher character development scores tend to receive higher overall scores. Scenes with notably lower character change scores (e.g., scenes 1, 26, 44) may benefit from more defined shifts in character perspective or actions.
Emotional Impact and Move Story ForwardScenes with high emotional impact often successfully move the story forward. This suggests an effective integration of emotional beats within the narrative structure. However, there are some exceptions (e.g., Scene 60), indicating that high emotional impact does not always guarantee forward momentum. Examine these exceptions to pinpoint where story progression can be strengthened.
Dialogue and Overall GradeThere's a tendency for scenes with high dialogue scores to receive higher overall grades. This reinforces the importance of well-crafted dialogue in contributing to the overall quality of a scene. However, some high-scoring scenes have relatively average dialogue scores, while others with strong dialogue scores receive lower overall grades, indicating other scene elements also significantly influence overall quality. Analyze the elements driving the overall scores to identify improvement opportunities.
Late-Act Shift in Emotional FocusThe screenplay displays a notable shift towards emotionally intense scenes (high emotional impact and dialogue scores) in the later acts (scenes 29 onwards). This indicates a strategic build-up of emotional intensity towards the climax, but may need to be evaluated for pacing and whether the earlier acts adequately support the emotional weight of the ending. Consider whether the emotional intensity in the final acts requires better foreshadowing or pacing adjustments in the earlier parts of the screenplay.


Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

The screenplay demonstrates a strong foundation in creating emotionally resonant narratives, particularly within the challenging context of slavery. Many scenes effectively convey historical settings, character motivations, and thematic conflicts. However, there's a recurring reliance on the same examples for improvement (primarily '12 Years a Slave' and 'Beloved'), suggesting a need for broader exposure to diverse screenwriting styles and techniques. The writer shows a talent for evoking emotional depth and exploring moral dilemmas, but further development is needed in crafting unique dialogue, enriching character complexity beyond surface-level struggles, and exploring a wider range of narrative approaches.

Key Improvement Areas

Dialogue Enhancement
Many analyses praise the emotional depth conveyed but suggest exercises focused on enhancing subtext, nuance, and revealing character motivations subtly through dialogue. The repetitive suggestion to read '12 Years a Slave' and 'Beloved' highlights a need for stylistic diversification in dialogue writing.
Character Development Depth
While characters' internal and external struggles are effectively conveyed, suggestions repeatedly emphasize deepening character complexity beyond the immediate context of slavery. Exploring motivations beyond survival and resilience is crucial for creating more nuanced and memorable characters.
Narrative Breadth and Style
The overwhelming reliance on '12 Years a Slave' and 'Beloved' for improvement suggests a limited exposure to diverse screenwriting styles and techniques. Expanding the range of genres, time periods, and narrative approaches will broaden the writer's craft.
Show, Don't Tell
While many scenes successfully convey emotion, focusing more on using action, visual details, and evocative imagery to *show* rather than *tell* the audience the emotional state of characters will enhance the immersive quality of the screenplay.

Suggestions

Type Suggestion Rationale
Screenplay Read and analyze screenplays from diverse genres and time periods. Examples include: 'Casablanca' (classic Hollywood), 'Pulp Fiction' (non-linear storytelling), 'Moonlight' (character-driven drama), and 'Parasite' (genre-bending). This addresses the recurring need for stylistic diversity beyond historical dramas focused on slavery. Examining different narrative structures, dialogue styles, and character arcs will broaden the writer's toolkit.
Book Read 'Save the Cat! Writes a Novel' by Jessica Brody. While focused on novels, its principles of structure and character arc are transferable to screenwriting. This will provide a more structured approach to plot development and character arcs beyond the themes consistently explored in the analysed scenes.
Video Watch masterclasses or interviews with diverse screenwriters like Aaron Sorkin (dialogue), Christopher Nolan (structure), and Greta Gerwig (character-driven narratives). Exposure to various screenwriting approaches will help avoid the repetitive suggestions for '12 Years a Slave' and offer new perspectives on crafting scenes.
Course Consider taking an online screenwriting course focusing on advanced dialogue writing or character development. Many platforms like Masterclass and Coursera offer such courses. Structured learning will provide focused feedback and enhance skills in the identified key improvement areas.
Stories Similar to this one

Story Explanation
12 Years a Slave This film is based on the true story of Solomon Northup, a free Black man who was kidnapped and sold into slavery. It shares a similar narrative arc, focusing on the brutal realities of slavery, the struggle for identity, and the quest for freedom.
Roots This miniseries chronicles the history of an African American family from the time of slavery through the Civil War and beyond. Like the screenplay, it explores themes of family, resilience, and the impact of slavery on personal identity.
The Help Set in the 1960s, this film addresses racial issues and the lives of Black maids working in white households. It shares a focus on the struggles of marginalized individuals and the complexities of their relationships with their oppressors.
The Color Purple This film adaptation of Alice Walker's novel follows the life of a Black woman in the early 20th century American South, dealing with themes of oppression, resilience, and the importance of family and community, paralleling Solomon's journey.
Beloved Based on Toni Morrison's novel, this story deals with the haunting legacy of slavery and the struggle for identity and freedom. It shares a similar tone of despair and hope, focusing on the emotional scars left by slavery.
Django Unchained This film presents a fictional narrative about a freed slave who seeks to rescue his wife from a brutal plantation owner. It explores themes of revenge, freedom, and the brutality of slavery, resonating with Solomon's fight for liberation.
Underground This television series follows a group of slaves who plan a daring escape from a Georgia plantation. It shares a similar focus on the struggle for freedom and the harsh realities of life under slavery.
The Book of Negroes This miniseries follows the journey of a young African woman who is captured and sold into slavery, paralleling Solomon's experiences. It explores themes of survival, resilience, and the quest for freedom.
The Pianist While set during World War II, this film tells the true story of a Jewish pianist's struggle for survival amidst the horrors of the Holocaust. It shares themes of resilience, identity, and the fight for survival against oppressive forces.
The Nightingale This film follows a young Irish convict seeking revenge against British soldiers in 1825 Tasmania. It explores themes of survival, trauma, and the impact of colonialism, resonating with the emotional and physical struggles depicted in Solomon's story.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope Trope Details Trope Explanation
The Struggle for Freedom
The Family Bond
The Mentor
The Evil Overlord
The Call to Adventure
The Tragic Backstory
The Power of Music
The Unlikely Ally
The Descent into Darkness


Theme Theme Details Themee Explanation
The Brutality and Dehumanization of SlaveryThe screenplay graphically depicts the physical and psychological horrors of slavery, from the initial kidnapping and imprisonment to the daily abuses, violence, and degradation inflicted upon Solomon and other enslaved people.This theme explores the systematic stripping away of humanity through physical violence, sexual exploitation, forced labor, separation of families, and the denial of basic human rights.
Strengthening The Brutality and Dehumanization of Slavery:
Suggestion Type How to Strengthen the Theme
Visual - Scene All Subtly integrate recurring visual motifs throughout the film to underscore the dehumanization. Examples include: consistently framing slaves in tight shots, emphasizing their physical confinement and isolation; using animalistic imagery (e.g., caged animals, close-ups of eyes reflecting fear) to visually link the slaves' treatment with that of livestock; showing the contrast between the opulence of the white characters' lives and the squalor of the slaves' surroundings in split-screen or juxtaposed shots.
Dialogue - Scene 8, 17, 29, 36, 40, 55 Enhance the dialogue during scenes of violence to amplify the dehumanizing language used by slave owners. Instead of simply showing physical brutality, include verbal abuse that strips slaves of their identity, reduces them to objects, uses animalistic comparisons, or employs derogatory racial epithets. This will highlight the psychological component of the brutality.
Character Arc Develop Solomon's internal struggle with maintaining his humanity in the face of dehumanization. Show moments where he resists the attempts to break his spirit (e.g., refusing to accept his new name, quietly maintaining his dignity), but also moments of despair and self-doubt. This internal conflict will add emotional depth and resonate more powerfully with the theme.
Story Arc Weave a sub-plot that focuses on the systematic nature of dehumanization. This could involve showing how the legal system, social structures, and even seemingly benign interactions perpetuate the degradation of enslaved people. For example, scenes in courtrooms, slave auctions, or social gatherings could highlight this.
Action - Scene 18, 19, 22, 35 In scenes depicting slave auctions and sales, emphasize the objectification of slaves. Show buyers examining slaves like commodities, focusing on their physical attributes rather than their humanity. Use close-ups on hands touching slaves, highlighting the dehumanizing act of treating them as mere property. The sounds of the auction, the cold indifference of the buyers, and the desperate pleas of the slaves should create a powerfully visceral experience.
Resilience and the Human SpiritDespite the horrific conditions, Solomon's unwavering determination to survive, his intellectual curiosity, and his capacity for love and compassion are consistently showcased.This highlights the enduring strength of the human spirit even in the most adverse circumstances. Solomon's ability to find moments of hope, connection, and even small acts of defiance within the system speaks volumes about the power of resilience.
The Importance of Family and ConnectionThe constant longing for his family, the brief moments of connection with his wife and children, and the relationships he forms with other enslaved people emphasize the fundamental human need for love and belonging.This highlights the profound emotional cost of slavery's separation of families and the desperate search for human connection in an environment designed to destroy it.
The Pursuit of FreedomSolomon's persistent efforts to regain his freedom, despite repeated setbacks and near-impossible odds, are a central driving force of the narrative.This theme explores the lengths to which individuals will go to achieve liberty and the profound meaning of freedom after experiencing its absence.
The Hypocrisy of Religion and Morality in a Slave SocietyThe frequent use of religious imagery and scripture, often twisted to justify slavery, reveals the hypocrisy and moral corruption inherent within the system.This theme explores the conflict between religious ideals of compassion and justice and the brutal reality of slavery, highlighting the ways in which religion was used to support and maintain the institution.



Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site Description
Studio Binder Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts
Voice Analysis
Summary: The writer's voice is characterized by a stark and unflinching realism, blending historical accuracy with deep emotional depth. The narrative is driven by visceral descriptions, particularly of the brutal realities of slavery, punctuated by impactful, often sparse dialogue that reveals character through action and subtext. The direction emphasizes powerful visuals and the emotional weight of the characters' internal struggles.
Voice Contribution The writer's voice contributes to the script by creating a powerful and immersive experience for the audience. The historical accuracy grounds the narrative, allowing the emotional impact of the characters' suffering to resonate more deeply. The blend of visceral descriptions and emotionally charged dialogue creates a sense of immediacy and authenticity, while the focus on internal struggles adds layers of complexity and depth to the characters. The overall mood is one of tension, despair, and ultimately, resilience.
Best Representation Scene 8 - Defiance in Darkness
Best Scene Explanation This scene is the best representation because it perfectly encapsulates the writer's signature style. The stark and brutal realism of the setting and action is immediately apparent. The dialogue is minimal but incredibly impactful, conveying Solomon's defiance and the horrifying reality of his situation without relying on excessive exposition. The suggested direction underscores the visual power of the scene, prioritizing the emotional impact over elaborate staging. This scene showcases the writer's ability to create a powerful and moving narrative through a combination of visceral descriptions, sparse yet potent dialogue, and evocative direction.
Originality
  • Overall originality score: 9
  • Overall originality explanation: The screenplay demonstrates a high level of originality through its nuanced portrayal of historical events, particularly the complexities of slavery, race, and personal identity. Each scene offers fresh perspectives on the struggles of enslaved individuals, their relationships, and the moral dilemmas they face. The authentic dialogue and character interactions contribute to a rich tapestry of emotional depth, making the narrative feel both unique and impactful.
  • Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the screenplay are the intimate moments of connection between characters amidst the brutality of slavery, such as Solomon's interactions with Patsey and Celeste, as well as the moral conflicts he faces when forced to act against his principles. Additionally, the depiction of the psychological toll of slavery, including the internal struggles of characters like Solomon and Patsey, adds layers of originality to the narrative.
  • Overall unpredictability score: 8
  • Overall unpredictability explanation: The screenplay maintains a strong sense of unpredictability through its exploration of the characters' fates and the harsh realities of their lives. While the overarching themes of struggle and resilience are expected in narratives about slavery, the specific character arcs and their decisions often lead to surprising outcomes. The tension between hope and despair, as well as the moral complexities faced by Solomon and others, keeps the audience engaged and uncertain about the characters' futures.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal GoalsThroughout the screenplay, Solomon's internal goals evolve from seeking recognition and provider status for his family, to maintaining hope and dignity amid dehumanization, and finally to asserting his identity and striving for freedom. His journey is marked by a desire for emotional connection and moral integrity, deeply influenced by the harsh realities of slavery.
External Goals Initially, Solomon's external goals focus on navigating societal expectations as a free man and securing better opportunities for himself through performance. This transitions into navigating life as an enslaved person under brutal conditions while strategically plotting his escape and reclaiming his freedom.
Philosophical Conflict The overarching philosophical conflict wrestles with the concepts of dignity and self-identity against the backdrop of systemic oppression and dehumanization. This dynamic underscores Solomon's journey as he navigates between the desire for autonomy and the harsh realities imposed by an unjust society.


Character Development Contribution: The interplay of goals and conflicts profoundly contributes to Solomon's character development as he evolves from a hopeful free man to a resilient slave seeking autonomy and ultimately to a self-affirmed free man who has faced adversity.

Narrative Structure Contribution: These elements contribute to the narrative structure by creating a compelling arc where Solomon's journey from freedom to enslavement and back again serves to highlight historical injustices, driving the plot through various phases of struggle, resistance, and eventual resolution.

Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflicts enrich the thematic depth, embracing notions of resilience, humanity, and the pernicious effects of slavery while illustrating the enduring strength of familial bonds and the quest for justice and identity.


Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site Description
Creative Screenwriting How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?
World Building
  • Physical environment: The screenplay depicts a range of 19th-century American environments, from the bustling streets and townhouses of Saratoga, New York, and the formal settings of Washington D.C.'s government buildings, to the stark and brutal realities of slave pens, plantations (including the main houses, slave cabins, cotton fields, sugar houses, mills, and swamps), a steamboat traveling the Potomac River, and the squalid conditions of a smallpox hospital ward. The descriptions emphasize the contrast between the elegance and civility of the free North and the oppressive and dehumanizing conditions of slavery in the South.
  • Culture: The screenplay showcases the cultural practices of the time, including dinner parties among the wealthy white elite, the music of a black violinist, the religious practices of enslaved people (often used as a coping mechanism and a source of hope), and the unique customs of the Chickasaw Indians. The contrast between the dominant white culture and the marginalized cultures of enslaved people and Native Americans is a central element of the world-building.
  • Society: The societal structure is fundamentally defined by the institution of slavery. The screenplay vividly depicts the stark racial hierarchy and power dynamics between white slave owners and overseers and enslaved Black people. It shows how the legal system, even in the North, could fail to protect Black individuals from being kidnapped and forced into slavery. The screenplay also presents the societal norms of family life, community interactions in small towns, and the responses of the public to significant events like the death of President Harrison.
  • Technology: The technological elements reflect the early 19th century, with tools used in butchery, string-making, and carpentry. The steamboat plays a significant role in the narrative, highlighting the means of transporting slaves. Overall, the technology is rudimentary, emphasizing the physicality of labor and the limitations of communication, which creates obstacles and opportunities for characters.
  • Characters influence: The world elements profoundly shape the characters' experiences and actions. Solomon's status as a free Black man in the North initially allows him a life of relative comfort and freedom, but this is violently taken from him, revealing the precarious nature of freedom for Black individuals in America. The brutal conditions of slavery force the characters into survival mode, impacting their behavior, relationships, and capacity for hope. The societal structures shape their choices, with some characters resorting to rebellion, while others succumb to despair or seek solace in faith or community.
  • Narrative contribution: The world-building drives the narrative forward. Solomon's journey from a free life to enslavement and back to freedom provides a compelling arc fueled by the stark physical and social contrasts he encounters. The various locations and events create a chronological sequence that follows Solomon's ordeal, building suspense and escalating conflict.
  • Thematic depth contribution: The world elements significantly contribute to the screenplay's thematic depth. The stark contrast between the physical environments and cultures highlights the injustice and brutality of slavery. The societal structures emphasize the power imbalances and the dehumanizing effects of the institution. The limited technology underscores the physical hardship and the desperate struggle for freedom. These elements work together to explore themes of resilience, perseverance, the devastating impact of racism, and the fight for freedom and justice.
Story Engine Analysis

central conflict

The central conflict revolves around Solomon Northup's struggle for freedom after being kidnapped and sold into slavery, juxtaposed against the systemic oppression of enslaved individuals.

primary motivations

  • Solomon's desire to reunite with his family and regain his freedom.
  • Eliza's longing to be with her children.
  • The slaves' collective hope for liberation and dignity.

catalysts

  • Solomon's initial agreement to perform with Brown and Hamilton, leading to his abduction.
  • The arrival of new slaves and the harsh realities they face, which highlight the brutality of slavery.
  • The interactions with characters like Bass, who provide hope for escape.

barriers

  • The pervasive and violent system of slavery that dehumanizes individuals.
  • The distrust and hostility from slave owners and overseers.
  • The internalized fear and resignation among enslaved individuals.

themes

  • The quest for identity and self-worth amidst oppression.
  • The brutality and inhumanity of slavery.
  • The resilience of the human spirit in the face of adversity.

stakes

The stakes include Solomon's life and freedom, the well-being of his family, and the broader implications of slavery on human dignity and morality.

uniqueness factor

The story's uniqueness lies in its historical authenticity, being based on the true account of Solomon Northup, which provides a personal and emotional lens on the horrors of slavery.

audience hook

The emotional journey of Solomon, his resilience, and the hope for freedom amidst despair will engage the audience deeply.

paradoxical engine or bisociation

The paradoxical engine is the juxtaposition of Solomon's past life of freedom and dignity against the brutal reality of his enslavement, creating a tension that drives the narrative.

paradoxical engine or bisociation 2

Another bisociation could be the contrast between the beauty of the Southern landscape and the horrific acts of violence and oppression that occur within it, highlighting the dissonance between appearance and reality.


Engine: GPT4

Screenplay Rating:

Highly Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay of '12 Years a Slave' is a powerful and poignant exploration of the brutal realities of slavery, anchored by a compelling narrative and rich character arcs. The story maintains a consistent theme of the struggle for freedom and identity, while effectively portraying the emotional and physical toll of enslavement. The pacing is generally strong, though some sections could benefit from tighter editing. Character development is profound, particularly for Solomon Northup, whose journey from freedom to bondage and back again is both harrowing and inspiring. Overall, the screenplay is a masterful blend of historical accuracy and emotional depth, making it a significant contribution to the genre.

Strengths
Areas of Improvement
MissingElements
NotablePoints
Blind Spots
  • Character Motivations Some character motivations, particularly for secondary characters, are not fully explored, leaving their actions feeling somewhat ungrounded. For example, the motivations behind Epps's cruelty could be more deeply examined to provide a fuller understanding of his character. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Exposition At times, the screenplay relies on exposition-heavy dialogue that can feel forced, particularly in scenes where characters explain their backstories or motivations rather than allowing them to unfold naturally through action and interaction. medium

Engine: Claude

Screenplay Rating:

Highly Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay for "12 Years a Slave" is a powerful and deeply moving story that explores the horrors of slavery in 19th century America. The narrative follows the journey of Solomon Northup, a free black man who is kidnapped and sold into slavery, and his harrowing experience of trying to regain his freedom. The screenplay is consistently well-written, with strong character development, a compelling plot, and a clear thematic focus on the fundamental injustice of slavery. The pacing is measured and deliberate, allowing the audience to fully immerse themselves in the world of the characters. Overall, this screenplay is a standout example of how to craft a powerful, thought-provoking, and emotionally resonant story.

Strengths
  • The scene where Solomon demonstrates his musical talents showcases his resilience and humanity, even in the face of the dehumanizing conditions of slavery. The juxtaposition of Solomon's skilled performance and the slave-owners' indifference is a powerful commentary on the dignity and intellect of the enslaved. high ( Scene 11 (INT. FREEMAN'S/GREAT ROOM - LATER)   )
  • The scene where Ford encourages the reading of Scripture among his slaves, in contrast to the white customer's intolerance, highlights the moral complexity of the characters and the nuanced portrayal of the institution of slavery. This scene reinforces the screenplay's thematic exploration of the fundamental injustice of slavery. medium ( Scene 25 (EXT. FORD'S MILL - DAY)   )
  • The conversation between Solomon and Armsby provides valuable insight into the diverse experiences and perspectives of white characters within the system of slavery, adding depth and complexity to the overall narrative. medium ( Scene 51 (EXT. EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT)   )
  • The climactic scene where Solomon is finally reunited with his family is an emotionally powerful and cathartic moment that resonates with the audience, providing a satisfying resolution to the character's long and harrowing journey. high ( Scene 55 (EXT. EPPS'S PLANTATION - DAY)   )
  • The scene where Solomon confides in Bass about his true identity and circumstances is a crucial turning point in the narrative, as it sets in motion the events that ultimately lead to Solomon's liberation. The dialogue between the two characters is well-crafted and thoroughly engaging. high ( Scene 56 (INT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/GREAT HOUSE/ADDITION - EVENING)   )
Areas of Improvement
  • The scene depicting the intimate encounter between Solomon and Anna, while necessary for exploring the dehumanizing aspects of slavery, could potentially be handled with more nuance and sensitivity to avoid any risk of exploitation or sensationalism. medium ( Scene 43 (INT. SLAVE SHACK - NIGHT)   )
  • The encounter between Solomon and Celeste, while intriguing, could be further developed to better explore the complexities of their relationship and the challenges they face in their respective quests for freedom. medium ( Scene 48 (EXT. TURNER PLANTATION - NIGHT)   )
MissingElements
NotablePoints
  • The scene where Solomon confronts Tibeats and refuses to submit to his abuse is a powerful moment that showcases the character's resilience and unwillingness to be completely broken by the system of slavery. high ( Scene 32 (EXT. WEAVING HOUSE - LATER)   )
  • The scene where Solomon skillfully outmaneuvers Epps's suspicions about the letter-writing scheme is a testament to the character's intelligence and resourcefulness, further enhancing the audience's admiration for him. medium ( Scene 47 (EXT. MASTER EPPS'S PLANTATION/SLAVE SHACK - CONTINUOUS)   )
Blind Spots
  • Lack of diverse perspectives While the screenplay does an excellent job of exploring the experiences of the enslaved characters, there could be more attention paid to the perspectives of other marginalized groups, such as female slaves or free blacks, to provide a more well-rounded understanding of the historical context. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Occasional overwriting There are a few instances where the descriptive passages feel slightly too detailed or ornate, potentially distracting from the momentum of the story. However, these instances are relatively rare and do not significantly detract from the overall quality of the writing. low

Engine: Gemini

Screenplay Rating:

Highly Recommend

Executive Summary

This screenplay for '12 Years a Slave' demonstrates exceptional narrative strength, compelling character development, and a powerful exploration of historical trauma. While minor pacing issues and some underdeveloped secondary characters exist, the script's overall impact and emotional resonance make it a highly compelling and commercially viable project. The detailed depiction of the brutality of slavery and the resilience of the protagonist make it a truly remarkable piece.

Strengths
  • The screenplay powerfully depicts the physical and psychological brutality of slavery without resorting to gratuitous violence. The scenes in the hospital, the slave pens, and the initial brutalization highlight the dehumanizing aspects of the system and the profound suffering endured by the slaves. high ( Scene 21   Scene 20   Scene 8   )
  • The initial scenes establishing Solomon's life before captivity are crucial in showcasing his free status and the stark contrast with his subsequent experience. This builds empathy for the character and raises the stakes of his enslavement. high ( Scene 1   Scene 2   Scene 3   Scene 4   )
  • Solomon's character arc is central to the narrative's power. He progresses from a free man to a broken slave and finally to a survivor, demonstrating remarkable resilience and moral strength. His final confrontation with Epps and his reunion with his family provide powerful emotional closure. high ( Scene 54   Scene 55   Scene 56   Scene 57   )
  • The subplot with Celeste adds a layer of complexity and underscores the themes of freedom and resilience. Celeste's story, though ultimately tragic, complements Solomon's journey and provides further insight into the desperation and courage of enslaved people. medium ( Scene 46   Scene 47   Scene 49   )
  • The final scenes of the screenplay offer a satisfying resolution to Solomon's story, emphasizing the importance of family and the enduring power of hope. The contrast between his initial life of freedom and his eventual reunion is emotionally resonant. high ( Scene 59   Scene 60   )
Areas of Improvement
  • The pacing in some of the early scenes could be tightened. The detailed descriptions of the string-making process and the Saratoga setting, while historically informative, could be streamlined to maintain momentum. medium ( Scene 5   Scene 6   )
  • Some secondary characters, like the buyers at the slave auction, could be further developed to increase their impact and the overall emotional resonance of these scenes. A little more depth in their individual personalities would make their actions more impactful. low ( Scene 17   Scene 18   Scene 19   )
MissingElements
  • While the screenplay effectively portrays the physical brutality of slavery, it could benefit from a more explicit exploration of the psychological trauma experienced by the enslaved individuals. Adding scenes that further explore the internal lives of the characters would deepen the story's impact. medium
NotablePoints
  • The scene where Solomon is nearly lynched and saved by Chapin is a powerful moment of tension and suspense. This scene dramatically illustrates the ever-present threat of violence in the lives of slaves. high ( Scene 33   )
  • Solomon's act of self-mutilation, burning the flower onto his arm, is a profoundly symbolic moment that powerfully communicates his loss and enduring connection to his family. It's a visually striking and emotionally resonant scene. high ( Scene 43   )
  • Armsby's unexpected perspective as a white man struggling within the system adds a layer of complexity and social commentary to the narrative. His story contrasts with Solomon's, highlighting the broad impact of slavery on individuals of different social classes. medium ( Scene 51   )
Blind Spots
  • Underdeveloped Female Characters While Patsey is a crucial character, several other female characters are underdeveloped. Their motivations and internal struggles are not fully explored, which diminishes their impact and limits the screenplay's potential for exploring the unique experiences of women in slavery. medium
Amateur Giveaways
  • Over-reliance on Description The screenplay frequently relies on lengthy descriptions of settings and actions rather than showing them through dialogue and action. This can slow down the pacing and make the narrative feel less engaging. For example, the detailed descriptions of the string-making process and the Saratoga setting could be significantly streamlined. low
Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number Line
2Jasper: But it is my desire I should not spend my life in his servitude. It is my quiet desire that I should have a missus of my choosin', raise up young'n and provide 'fo 'em as I sees fit.
12Eliza: My poor children. My poor, poor babies.
29Eliza: Where are my children?
31Eliza: Have you stopped crying for your children? You make no outward sounds, but inside you; do you still weep and wail? Before you drift at night, do you not wonder where they are and if they prosper...Solomon? If you do not, then you assuredly have been reduced to the nigger they are desirous of...Solomon.
55MISTRESS EPPS: Do it! Strike the life from her.