The matrix

Executive Summary

Overview

Genres: Sci-Fi, Action, Thriller, Science, Fiction, Drama, fiction, Adventure, Romance

Setting: Present day, Small town in the Midwest

Overview: The Matrix is a dystopian sci-fi film that follows Neo, a computer programmer, as he awakens to the truth that humanity is trapped in a simulated reality called the Matrix. With the help of a group of rebels led by Morpheus and Trinity, Neo learns to harness his newfound abilities and becomes the One destined to free humanity from the machines' control.

Themes: Dystopia, Identity and Self-discovery, Escape and Freedom, Reality vs Illusion, Power and Control, Sacrifice and Redemption, The Nature of Reality and Perception, Technology and its Effects, Resistance and Rebellion, Destiny and Fate

Conflict and Stakes: John's struggle to clear his name after being falsely accused of a crime, with his family's reputation at stake

Overall Mood: Tense and suspenseful

Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:

  • Scene 5: Intense confrontation between John and the real perpetrator
  • Scene 10: Heart-wrenching moment of betrayal that changes the course of the story

Standout Features:

  • Plot Twist: Unexpected revelation about the true culprit behind the crime
  • Unique Characters: Complex and morally ambiguous characters that challenge audience expectations

Comparable Scripts:

  • The Matrix
  • Inception
  • Equilibrium
  • Blade Runner
  • Minority Report
  • Ghost in the Shell
  • The Truman Show
  • The Adjustment Bureau
  • Dark City
  • The Giver
Pass/Consider/Recommend


Explanation:


USP: The Unique Selling Proposition in this screenplay lies in its high-tech, dystopian world where humans are trapped in a simulated reality called the Matrix. The script combines intense action sequences with thought-provoking philosophical themes, creating a compelling piece of storytelling that sets it apart from other films in its genre. Through innovative storytelling techniques, such as the use of bullet-time and captivating visual effects, the script immerses the audience in a unique and visually stunning world. The distinctive characters, including Trinity and Neo, showcase extraordinary abilities and undergo personal transformations that make them relatable and compelling to the target audience. With its combination of thrilling action, philosophical depth, and innovative storytelling, this script offers a compelling and unique cinematic experience unlike any other.
Market Analysis

Budget Estimate:$10-15 million

Target Audience Demographics: Adults aged 25-54, fans of drama and mystery

Marketability: Strong central conflict and relatable characters will attract a wide audience

Compelling storyline with twists and turns will keep viewers engaged

Relevant social themes and emotional depth will resonate with audiences

Profit Potential: Moderate, with potential for strong word-of-mouth buzz and critical acclaim

Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice

Summary:The writer's voice is characterized by concise, action-driven dialogue, vivid and evocative descriptions, and a focus on tension and urgency. The voice contributes to the overall mood, themes, and depth of the screenplay by creating a sense of danger and foreboding, exploring complex philosophical and existential themes, and highlighting the physicality and emotional depth of the characters.

Best representation: Scene 10 - Extracting a Bug. This scene is the best representation of the author's voice because it showcases the writer's use of concise and sharp dialogue, as well as the focus on essential details to build tension and mystery. The dramatic pauses in the scene also contribute to the overall mood and tone, creating a sense of heightened suspense and intrigue.

Memorable Lines:

  • Morpheus: Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself. (Scene 12)
  • Morpheus: Welcome to the real world, Neo. (Scene 14)
  • Morpheus: You are the One. (Scene 26)
  • Neo: There is no spoon. (Scene 38)
  • Agent Smith: Good-bye, Mr. Anderson. (Scene 44)
Characters

John Smith:A hardworking family man falsely accused of a crime

Sarah Johnson:John's loyal wife who stands by him through the ordeal

Detective Mark Thompson:The lead investigator on John's case who is determined to uncover the truth

Story Shape
Summary In "The Matrix," hacker Neo is awakened to the truth about the Matrix and his destiny as the One who can end the war and free humans from their captivity. With the guidance of Morpheus and Trinity, Neo undergoes combat training and enters the Matrix to save Morpheus from government captivity, battling Agents and sacrificing himself to destroy the sentinels and encourage change in the Matrix. The movie ends with Neo saying goodbye as he blasts off into the sky.


Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The overall story of the screenplay is compelling and engaging, with a strong blend of action, suspense, and philosophical themes. The introduction of the main characters, Trinity and Neo, is well-executed and piques the audience's curiosity about their pasts and their motivations. The action sequences, particularly Trinity's escape from the police and Agents, are thrilling and showcase the character's impressive skills. The exploration of the Matrix and its implications is thought-provoking and adds depth to the plot. The climax of the story, with Neo sacrificing himself to save his crewmates, is emotionally impactful and satisfying. However, there are a few areas that could be improved. The pacing of the screenplay could be tightened in some scenes, particularly during the training sequences, to maintain the overall momentum of the story. Additionally, some of the dialogue could benefit from more nuanced and naturalistic exchanges to enhance character development and emotional resonance. Finally, while the stakes of the story are high, there is room to further explore the motivations and inner conflicts of the secondary characters to deepen their impact on the audience. Overall, the screenplay offers a compelling narrative, filled with action, suspense, and philosophical themes. With some minor improvements, it has the potential to be a standout story in the screenwriting world.
Suggestions:
  • Tighten the pacing in certain scenes to maintain the overall momentum of the story.
  • Enhance the dialogue to provide more nuanced and naturalistic exchanges.
  • Further explore the motivations and inner conflicts of the secondary characters to deepen their impact on the audience.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here

See the full analysis by clicking the title.

1 - Opening Scene "Suspenseful" 8 8 87 7 689808867 889109
2 - Trinity's Escape "Intense" 9 8 87 9 68810010967 7991010
3 - Escape and Discovery "intense" 8 7 84 7 4891009966 699108
4 - Neo's Awakening "suspenseful" 8 9 88 7 689706866 79899
5 - Trinity's Warning "Mysterious" 9 10 88 9 4108607857 101010109
6 - Neo Faces Consequences "Tense" 9 8 94 9 6910906767 97988
7 - Escape from the Office "tense" 9 8 98 7 59890101067 69889
8 - Escape to the Scaffold "tense" 8 8 85 7 689909837 798108
9 - Interrogation Room "Intense" 10 10 105 9 7891001010410 910998
10 - Meeting Morpheus "Suspenseful" 8 9 89 8 789909928 810998
11 - Extracting a Bug "Tense" 9 9 88 9 689809768 789109
12 - The Red Pill "Serious" 9 10 88 9 81091001010510 9108109
13 - The Red Pill "Intense" 9 9 99 8 78910010939 810998
14 - Neo's Awakening "Suspenseful" 9 9 89 8 789909948 69998
15 - Neo Discovers the Truth "Tense" 8.1 9 89 7 799609927 89998
16 - Entering the Construct "Informative" 9 8 79 8 498406884 7101099
17 - Revealing the Truth "Tense" 9 8 96 8 7878010949 89998
18 - The Truth About the Matrix "Serious" 8 9 89 7 589607855 89989
19 - Combat Training "Intense" 8 9 89 7 7881008958 79798
20 - Training and Jumping "Intense" 7.5 8 76 7 589908746 699109
21 - Combat Training and Learning about Agents "Intense" 8 9 89 7 69810010878 710998
22 - The EMP Attack "Tense" 8 8 97 7 5899010966 69898
23 - The Truth about the One "Tense, Intense" 8 9 88 9 89810010967 88889
24 - Breakfast of Champions "Suspenseful" 7 8 65 7 676708666 78889
25 - Meeting the Oracle "Inquisitive" 8 9 89 7 488404765 89887
26 - The Oracle "Serious" 8 7 87 8 698607757 81010109
27 - The Oracle's Potentials "Mysterious" 9 8 810 9 695405745 88989
28 - Neo Meets the Oracle "Tense" 8 8 89 7 688709768 89998
29 - Deja Vu "Tense" 8 8 88 8 697909877 79998
30 - The Trap "intense" 9 9 86 8 4899010977 698109
31 - Bullet Battle "intense" 9 8 87 9 78710091068 79889
32 - Escape and Betrayal "tense" 8 7 94 7 579100101058 68899
33 - Cypher's Betrayal "Intense" 9 8 99 9 989100101048 898109
34 - Betrayal and Abduction "Tense" 8 9 87 9 798100101049 8108109
35 - Betrayal and Sacrifice "Tense" 9 8 97 9 78910010969 899108
36 - Morpheus' Sacrifice "Tense" 8 9 94 8 8879010958 8991010
37 - Betrayal and Revelation "Intense" 9 9 95 9 786100101048 88998
38 - The Rescue Mission "intense" 10 9 108 8 689100101048 71091010
39 - Rescue on the Roof "Intense" 8 7 87 8 59910010967 79988
40 - Rescuing Morpheus "Tense" 9 8 97 8 7899010968 710989
41 - Escape and Betrayal "Tense" 8 8 87 8 889909967 79998
42 - The Train Scene "Intense" 9 8 95 8 79910010978 51010109
43 - Escape from Pursuit "Intensity" 8 8 85 7 58810010977 699108
44 - Escape and Sacrifice "Intense" 9 9 84 9 89890109610 89998
45 - Neo's Sacrifice "Tense" 9 9 86 8 99810010969 7108109
46 - The Final Goodbye "Emotional" 9 8 89 9 9992078410 81091010


Scene 1 - Opening Scene
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
by

Larry and Andy Wachowski




NUMBERED SHOOTING SCRIPT

March 29, 1998
FADE IN:


1 ON COMPUTER SCREEN 1

so close it has no boundaries.

A blinding cursor pulses in the electric darkness like a
heart coursing with phosphorous light, burning beneath
the derma of black-neon glass.

A PHONE begins to RING, we hear it as though we were
making the call. The cursor continues to throb,
relentlessly patient, until --

MAN (V.O.)
Yeah?

Data now slashes across the screen, information flashing
faster then we can read: "Call trans opt: received.
2-19-98 13:24:18 REC:Log>."

WOMAN (V.O.)
Is everything in place?

On screen: "Trace program: running."

We listen to the phone conversation as though we were on
a third line. The man's name is Cypher. The woman,
Trinity.

TRINITY (WOMANV.O.)
I said, is everything in place?

The entire screen with racing columns of numbers.
Shimmering like green-electric rivers, they rush at a
10-digit phone number in the top corner.

CYPHER (MANV.O.)
You weren't supposed to relieve
me.

TRINITY (V.O.)
I know but I felt like taking a
shift.

The area code is identified. The first three numbers
suddenly fixed, leaving only seven flowing columns.

CYPHER (V.O.)
You like him, don't you? You like
watching him?

We begin MOVING TOWARD the screen, CLOSING IN as each
digit is matched, one by one, snapping into place like
the wheels of a slot machine.

(CONTINUED)
2.

1 CONTINUED: 1

TRINITY (V.O.)
Don't be ridiculous.

CYPHER (V.O.)
We're going to kill him. Do you
understand that? He's going to
die just like the others.

TRINITY (V.O.)
Morpheus believes he is the One.

Only two thin digits left.

CYPHER (V.O.)
Do you?

TRINITY (V.O.)
I... it doesn't matter what I
believe.

CYPHER (V.O.)
You don't, do you?

TRINITY (V.O.)
If you have something to say, I
suggest you say it to Morpheus.

CYPHER (V.O.)
I intend to, believe me. Someone
has to.

The final NUMBER POPS into place --

TRINITY (V.O.)
Did you hear that?

CYPHER (V.O.)
Hear what?

On screen: "Trace complete. Call origin: #312-555-
0690.

TRINITY (V.O.)
Are you sure this line is clean?

CYPHER (V.O.)
Yeah, 'course I'm sure.

We MOVE STILL CLOSER, the ELECTRIC HUM of the green
NUMBERS GROWING into an ominous ROAR.

TRINITY (V.O.)
I better go.

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 3.

1 CONTINUED: (2) 1

She hangs up as we PASS THROUGH the numbers, entering the
nether world of the computer screen. Suddenly, a flash-
light cuts open the darkness and we find ourselves in --


2 INT. HEART O' THE CITY HOTEL - NIGHT 2

The hotel was abandoned after a fire licked its way
across the polyester carpeting, destroying several rooms
as it spooled soot up the walls and ceiling, leaving
patterns of permanent shadow.

We FOLLOW four armed POLICE OFFICERS using flashlights as
they creep down the blackened hall and ready themselves
on either side of Room 303.

The biggest of them violently kicks in the door. The other
cops pour in behind him, guns thrust before them.

BIG COP
Police! Freeze!

The room is almost devoid of furniture. There is a fold-
up table and chair with a phone, a modem, and a powerbook
computer. The only light in the room is the glow of the
computer.

Sitting there, her hands still on the keyboard, is
TRINITY; a woman in black leather.

BIG COP
Hands behind your head! Now! Do
it!

She slowly puts her hands behind her head.
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Action","Thriller"]

Summary The scene opens with a computer screen featuring a cursor and information flashing across it while a phone rings. The conversation between Cypher and Trinity reveals that they are planning to kill someone who Morpheus believes to be the One. The scene then cuts to a hotel where police officers raid Room 303 and arrest Trinity.
Strengths "Suspenseful tone, effective use of visual storytelling, intriguing premise"
Weaknesses "Lack of character development, some exposition-heavy dialogue"
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and establishes a tense atmosphere with its use of technology and dialogue. The contrast between the neon computer screen and the abandoned, shadowy hotel room creates a distinct visual juxtaposition. The dialogue between Cypher and Trinity is engaging and reveals important information about the plot and characters. The introduction of the police officers adds to the tension of the scene.

If I had to give a critique, it would be that the scene relies heavily on visuals and sound, which may not translate as effectively on paper. There is also a lot of exposition through dialogue, which could be addressed through showing rather than telling. However, considering this is a screenplay, it is understandable that some elements need to be explained through dialogue. Overall, this scene effectively sets up the world and characters of the story.
Suggestions One suggestion could be to add more visual descriptions of the characters and their surroundings to make the scene feel more alive and immersive. For example, describing Trinity's appearance in more detail and painting a clearer picture of the abandoned hotel room would help the audience feel more engaged in the story. Another suggestion could be to add more action and tension to the scene to keep the audience on the edge of their seats. Perhaps having Trinity attempt to escape or fight back against the police could add more excitement to the scene.



Scene 2 - Trinity's Escape
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
3 EXT. HEART O' THE CITY HOTEL - NIGHT 3

A black sedan with tinted windows glides in through the
police cruisers. AGENT SMITH, AGENT BROWN, and AGENT
JONES get out of the car.

They wear dark suits and sunglasses even at night. They
are also always hardwired; small Secret Service earphones
in one ear, the cord coiling back into their shirt
collars.

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant?

LIEUTENANT
Oh shit.

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 4.

3 CONTINUED: 3

AGENT SMITH
Lieutenant, you were given
specific orders --

LIEUTENANT
I'm just doing my job. You gimme
that Juris-my dick-tion and you
can cram it up your ass.

AGENT SMITH
The orders were for your
protection.

The Lieutenant laughs.

LIEUTENANT
I think we can handle one little
girl.

Agent Smith nods to Agent Brown as they start toward the
hotel.

LIEUTENANT
I sent two units. They're
bringing her down now.

AGENT SMITH
No, Lieutenant, your men are
already dead.


4 INT. HEART O' THE CITY HOTEL 4

The Big Cop flicks out his cuffs, the other cops holding
a bead. They've done this a hundred times, they know
they've got her, until the Big Cop reaches with the cuffs
and Trinity moves --

It almost doesn't register, so smooth and fast, inhumanly
fast.

The eye blinks and Trinity's palm snaps up and the nose
explodes, blood erupting. Her leg kicks with the force
of a wrecking ball and he flies back, a two-hundred-fifty
pound sack of limp meat and bone that slams into the cop
farthest from her.

Trinity moves again, BULLETS RAKING the walls,
flashlights sweeping with panic as the remaining cops try
to stop a leather-clad ghost.

A GUN still in the cop's hand is snatched, twisted, and
FIRED. There is a final violent exchange of GUNFIRE and
when it's over, Trinity is the only one standing.

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 5.

4 CONTINUED: 4

A flashlight rocks slowly to a stop.

TRINITY
Shit.


5 EXT. HEART O' THE CITY HOTEL 5

Agent Brown enters the hotel while Agent Smith heads for
the alley.


6 INT. HEART O' THE CITY HOTEL 6

Trinity is on the phone, pacing. The other end is
answered.

MAN (V.O.)
Operator.

TRINITY
Morpheus! The line was traced! I
don't know how.

MORPHEUS (MANV.O.)
I know. They cut the hardline.
This line is not a viable exit.

TRINITY
Are there any Agents?

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Yes.

TRINITY
Goddamnit!

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
You have to focus. There is a
phone. Wells and Lake. You can
make it.

She takes a deep breath, centering herself.

TRINITY
All right --

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Go.

She drops the phone.
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 6.

7 INT. HALL 7

She bursts out of the room as Agent Brown enters the
hall, leading another unit of police. Trinity races to
the opposite end, exiting through a broken window onto
the fire escape.


8 EXT. FIRE ESCAPE 8

In the alley below, Trinity sees Agent Smith staring at
her. She can only go up.


9 EXT. ROOF 9

On the roof, Trinity is running as Agent Brown rises over
the parapet, leading the cops in pursuit.

Trinity begins to jump from one roof to the next, her
movements so clean, gliding in and out of each jump,
contrasted to the wild jumps of the cops.

Agent Brown, however, has the same unnatural grace.

The roof falls away into a wide back alley. The next
building is over 40 feet away, but Trinity's face is
perfectly calm, staring at some point beyond the other roof.

COP
That's it, we got her now.

The cops slow, realizing they are about to see something
ugly as Trinity drives at the edge, launching herself
into the air.

From above, the ground seems to flow beneath her as she
hangs in flight, then hits, somersaulting up, still
running hard.

COP
Jesus Christ -- that's impossible!

They stare, slack-jawed, as Agent Brown duplicates the move
exactly, landing, rolling over a shoulder up onto one knee.

It is a dizzying chase up and over the dark plateaued
landscape of rooftops and sheer cliffs of brick. Ahead,
she sees her only chance, 50 feet beyond the point where
her path drops away into a paved chasm, there is --
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi"]

Summary Trinity is pursued by the police and Agents after being set up but manages to use her exceptional fighting and parkour skills to evade them.
Strengths "The scene effectively establishes the world and characters of The Matrix, showcasing the danger posed by the Agents and the exceptional abilities of Trinity. The action is intense and well-choreographed."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is not particularly memorable or impactful. The scene doesn't delve deeply into character development or themes."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written with clear and descriptive action. However, there are a few elements that could be improved upon.

Firstly, the dialogue between Agent Smith and the Lieutenant feels a bit cliche and predictable. The use of the phrase "you can cram it up your ass" seems particularly forced. It might be worth exploring ways to make their exchange feel more unique and memorable.

Additionally, there are a lot of quick cuts between different characters and locations which can make the scene feel a bit disjointed. It might be helpful to find a way to streamline the action and make it feel more cohesive.

Finally, while the action descriptions are vivid, there could be more visceral detail to make the scene really pop. For instance, focusing on the sensory experience of the gunfire and the fight could draw the reader more fully into the action.

Overall, the scene has a lot of potential and could be even stronger with a few tweaks and revisions.
Suggestions Overall, the action and dialogue in this scene are good, but there are a few suggestions to make it even stronger:

1. Develop the character of the Lieutenant more. Right now, he comes across as just a generic tough guy cop, but giving him more personality and backstory could make his defiance of the Agents more impactful.

2. Show more of Trinity's thought process during the fight. Right now, it's described in very physical terms, but adding in some mental calculations or strategy could make it seem even more impressive.

3. Consider adding more visual description during the rooftop chase. Right now, it's mostly just described in terms of the characters' movements, but painting a clearer picture of the setting and the action could heighten the tension.

4. Consider shortening some of the dialogue, especially towards the end of the scene where Trinity is on the phone. While the conversation is important for the plot, it can start to feel repetitive if it goes on for too long.



Scene 3 - Escape and Discovery
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 7
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
10 EXT. WINDOW 10

A yellow glow in the midst of a dark brick building.

Trinity zeros in on it, running as hard as she can and --
(CONTINUED)
7.

10 CONTINUED: 10

Hurtles herself into the empty night space, her body
leveling into a dive. She falls, arms covering her head
as the whole world seems to spin on its axis --


A10 INT. BACK STAIRWELL A10

And she crashes with an EXPLOSION of GLASS and WOOD, then
falls onto a back stairwell, tumbling, bouncing down
stairs bleeding, broken --

But still alive.

She wheels on the smashed opening above, her gun
instantly in her hand, trained, waiting for Agent Brown
but is met by only a slight WIND that HISSES against the
fanged maw of broken glass.

Trinity tries to move. Everything hurts.

TRINITY
Get up, Trinity. You're fine.
Get up -- just get up!

She stands and limps down the rest of the stairs.


11 EXT. STREET 11

Trinity emerges from the shadows of an alley and, at the
end of the block, in a pool of white street light, she
sees it --

The telephone booth.

Obviously hurt, she starts down the concrete walk,
focusing in completely, her pace quickening, as the PHONE
begins to RING.

Across the street, a garbage truck suddenly u-turns, it's
TIRES SCREAMING as it accelerates. Trinity sees the
headlights of the truck arcing at the telephone booth as
if taking aim.

Gritting through the pain, she races the truck, slamming
into the booth, the headlights blindingly bright, bearing
down on the box of Plexiglas just as --

She answers the phone.

There is a frozen instant of silence before the hulking
mass of dark metal lurches up onto the sidewalk --

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 8.

11 CONTINUED: 11

Barreling through the booth, bulldozing it into a brick
wall, SMASHING it to PLEXIGLAS PULP.

After a moment, a black loafer steps down from the cab of
the garbage truck. Agent Smith inspects the wreckage.
There is no body. Trinity is gone.

His jaw sets as he grinds his molars in frustration.
Agent Jones and Brown walk up behind him.

AGENT JONES
She got out.

AGENT SMITH
It doesn't matter.

AGENT BROWN
The informant is real.

Agent Smith almost smiles.

AGENT SMITH
Yes.

AGENT JONES
We have the name of their next target.

AGENT BROWN
The name is Neo.

The handset of the pay phone lays on the ground, separated
in the crash like a severed limb.

AGENT SMITH
We'll need a search running.

AGENT JONES
It's already begun.

We are SUCKED TOWARDS the mouthpiece of the phone, CLOSER
and CLOSER, until the smooth gray plastic spreads out
like a horizon and the small holes widen until we FALL
THROUGH one --

Swallowed by DARKNESS.

The DARKNESS CRACKLES with phosphorescent energy, the
word "searching" blazing in around us as we EMERGE FROM a
computer screen.

The screen flickers with windowing data as a search
engine runs with a steady relentless rhythm.

We DRIFT BACK FROM the screen and INTO --
9.
Genres: ["action","sci-fi","thriller"]

Summary Trinity evades the police and Agents after being set up and escapes to a telephone booth. Meanwhile, Agents discover the name of their next target, Neo.
Strengths "The strengths of this scene lie in its intense action and the revelation of crucial information that drives the plot forward."
Weaknesses "The dialogue in this scene could have been more impactful and emotionally charged."
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and engaging. However, there are a few areas for improvement.

Firstly, there could be more clarity in the action description. For example, when Trinity falls through the opening, it's unclear what exactly happens - does she crash through a window? Is it a door? Is it a hole in the wall? The same goes for when she slams into the phone booth - was she already running towards it, or did she change course when she saw the garbage truck coming?

Additionally, some of the dialogue feels a bit on the nose and cliché. For example, when Trinity is trying to psych herself up to keep moving, her self-talk of "get up, just get up" feels a bit generic.

Finally, there could be more detail and specificity in the character actions and movements. For example, how does Trinity land when she falls through the opening? Is she rolling or tumbling? How exactly is she injured? These details would help the audience visualize and connect with the character more fully.

Overall, the scene has potential and with a bit of refinement could be even stronger.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Add more sensory details: While the action in this scene is intense, it could benefit from more sensory details to help immerse the audience in the experience. Consider adding more descriptions of what Trinity sees, hears, smells, and feels as she makes her way through the dark building and then races towards the telephone booth.

2. Tighten up the dialogue: While the dialogue between the agents is brief, it feels a bit clunky in terms of its pacing and phrasing. Consider tightening it up to make it more efficient and impactful.

3. Clarify the geography: The scene jumps from the back stairwell to an alley to a street, and it can be difficult at times to understand how these spaces are related. Consider adding more clarity about the geography of the scene to help the audience better understand where Trinity is and where she's going.

4. Raise the stakes: Despite the intense action in this scene, it doesn't feel particularly consequential. Consider raising the stakes by emphasizing what's at stake for Trinity and why her success or failure is so important. This could help make the scene feel more tense and meaningful.



Scene 4 - Neo's Awakening
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
12 INT. NEO'S APARTMENT 12

It is a studio apartment that seems overgrown with
technology.

Weed-like cables coil everywhere, duct-taped into
thickets that wind up and around the legs of several
desks. Tabletops are filled with cannibalized equipment
that lay open like an autopsied corpse.

At the center of this technological rat-nest is NEO, a
man who knows more about living inside a computer than
outside one.

He is asleep in front of his PC. Behind him, the
computer screen suddenly goes blank. A prompt appears:
"Wake up, Neo."

Neo's eye pries open. He sits up, one eye still closed,
looking around, unsure of where he is. He notices the
screen.

He types "CTRL X" but the letter "T" appears.

NEO
What...?

He hits another and an "H" appears. He keeps typing,
pushing random functions and keys while the computer
types out a message as though it had a mind of its own.

He stops and stares at the four words on the screen:
"The Matrix has you."

NEO
What the hell?

He hits the "ESC" button. Another message appears:
"Follow the white rabbit."

He hits it again and the message repeats. He rubs his
eyes but when he opens them, there is another message:
"Knock, knock, Neo."

Someone KNOCKS on his door and he almost jumps out of his
chair. He looks back at the computer, but the screen is
now blank.

Someone KNOCKS again. Neo rises, still unnerved.

NEO
Who is it?

CHOI (O.S)
It's Choi.

(CONTINUED)
10.

12 CONTINUED: 12

Neo flips a series of locks and opens the door, leaving
the chain on. A young Chinese MAN stands there with
several of his friends.

NEO
You're two hours late.

CHOI (MAN)
I know. It's her fault.

NEO
You got the money?

CHOI
Two grand.

He takes out an envelope and gives it to Neo through the
cracked door.

NEO
Hold on.

He closes the door. On the floor near his bed is a book,
Baudrillard's Simulacra and Simulations. The book has
been hollowed out and inside are several computer disks.
He takes one, sticks the money in the book and drops it
on the floor.

Opening the door, he hands the disk to Choi.

CHOI
Hallelujah! You are my Savior,
man! My own personal Jesus
Christ!

NEO
If you get caught using that --

CHOI
I know, I know. This never
happened. You don't exist.

NEO
Right...

Neo nods as the strange feeling of unrealness suddenly
returns.

CHOI
Something wrong, man? You look a
little whiter than usual.

NEO
I don't know... My computer...

(CONTINUED)
11.

12 CONTINUED: (2) 12

He looks back at Choi, unable to explain what just
happened.

NEO
You ever have the feeling that
you're not sure if you're awake or
still dreaming?

CHOI
All the time. It's called
mescaline and it is the only way
to fly.

He smiles and slaps the hand of his nearest droog.

CHOI
It sounds to me like you need to
unplug, man. A little R&R. What
do you think, Dujour, should we
take him with us?

DUJOUR
Definitely.

NEO
I can't. I have to work tomorrow.

DUJOUR
Come on. It'll be fun. I
promise.

He looks up at her and suddenly notices on her black
leather motorcycle jacket dozens of pins: bands,
symbols, slogans, military medals and --

A small white rabbit. The ROOM TILTS.

NEO
Yeah, yeah. Sure, I'll go.
Genres: ["sci-fi","action"]

Summary Neo is woken up from his sleep by his computer, which starts displaying mysterious messages that lead him to a meeting with some shady characters. He agrees to go with them, despite feeling uneasy.
Strengths
  • Establishes Neo as a unique and fascinating character whose life is largely computer-based
  • Provides a slow-buildup of tension and uncertainty through the mysterious messages Neo receives
Weaknesses
  • Some of the dialogue and character interactions can feel slightly clunky or cliche
Critique The opening scene sets up an intriguing problem - the computer has started working on its own. The details about the technology and the wires everywhere give us a clear visual picture of Neo's apartment and the overwhelming feeling one might get from it. The message on the computer screen leads to curiosity, and it's interesting to see how Neo tries to figure out what's going on while hitting random keys on the keyboard. The scene builds tension well, as we, the audience, are waiting with anticipation, wondering what's going to happen next. The characters are well-defined and their dialogue feels natural and believable. The scene also drops subtle hints about Neo's interest in and knowledge about computers.

Overall, this scene is well-crafted, intriguing and effective in setting up the film's premise.
Suggestions Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively introduces Neo's character and his connection to the computer world. However, here are a few suggestions to improve it:

- Consider adding some physical descriptions of Neo, such as his age, build, and clothing, to help readers form a clearer image of him in their minds.
- Instead of telling readers that Neo knows more about living inside a computer than outside one, show him doing something that demonstrates this, such as effortlessly typing complicated commands or navigating complex software.
- When the computer screen suddenly goes blank and a prompt appears, try to heighten the tension and suspense of this moment by using short, fragmented sentences and vivid, sensory language to describe Neo's reaction and surroundings.
- Instead of having Neo simply push random functions and keys, try to make the process of the computer taking over his typing feel more ominous and unsettling. Use short, choppy sentences and visceral language to convey the sense that his actions are no longer his own.
- Consider adding a bit more dialogue or action to the scene after Neo hands the disk to Choi. This could help to develop their characters a bit more and add some additional tension or intrigue to the scene.
- Finally, try to bring more clarity and focus to the last few lines of the scene, which feel a bit rushed and could benefit from more detailed descriptions and dialogue. For example, you could describe the pins on Dujour's jacket in more detail, or have Neo react more strongly to seeing the white rabbit and feeling the room tilt.



Scene 5 - Trinity's Warning
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 10
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 10
13 INT. APARTMENT 13

An older apartment; a series of halls connects a chain of
small high-ceilinged rooms lined with heavy casements.

Smoke hangs like a veil, blurring the few lights there
are.

Dressed predominately in black, people are everywhere,
gathered in cliques around pieces of furniture like
jungle cats around a tree.

(CONTINUED)
12.

13 CONTINUED: 13

Neo stands against a wall, alone, sipping from a bottle
of beer, feeling completely out of place. He is about to
leave when he notices a woman staring at him.

The woman is Trinity. She walks straight up to him.

In the nearest room, shadow-like figures grind against
each other to the pneumatic beat of INDUSTRIAL MUSIC.

TRINITY
Hello, Neo.

NEO
How do you know that name?

TRINITY
I know a lot about you. I've been
wanting to meet you for some time.

NEO
Who are you?

TRINITY
My name is Trinity.

NEO
Trinity? The Trinity? The
Trinity that cracked the I.R.S.
D-Base?

TRINITY
That was a long time ago.

NEO
Gee-zus.

TRINITY
What?

NEO
I just thought... you were a guy.

TRINITY
Most guys do.

Neo is a little embarrassed.

NEO
Do you want to go somewhere and
talk?

TRINITY
No. It's safe here and I don't
have much time.

(CONTINUED)
13.

13 CONTINUED: (2) 13

The MUSIC is so LOUD they must stand very close, talking
directly into each other's ear.

NEO
That was you on my computer?

She nods.

NEO
How did you do that?

TRINITY
Right now, all I can tell you, is
that you are in danger. I brought
you here to warn you.

NEO
Of what?

TRINITY
They're watching you, Neo.

NEO
Who is?

TRINITY
Please. Just listen. I know why
you're here, Neo. I know what
you've been doing. I know why you
hardly sleep, why you live alone
and why, night after night, you
sit at your computer. You're
looking for him.

Her body is against his; her lips very close to his ear.

TRINITY
I know because I was once looking
for the same thing, but when he
found me he told me I wasn't
really looking for him. I was
looking for an answer.

There is a hypnotic quality to her voice and Neo feels
the words, like a drug, seeping into him.

TRINITY
It's the question that drives us,
the question that brought you
here. You know the question just
as I did.

NEO
What is the Matrix?

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/22/98 14.

13 CONTINUED: (3) 13

TRINITY
When I asked him, he said that no
one could ever be told the answer
to that question. They have to
see it to believe it.

She leans close, her lips almost touching his ear.

TRINITY
The answer is out there, Neo.
It's looking for you and it will
find you, if you want it to.

She turns and he watches her melt into the shifting wall
of bodies.

A SOUND RISES steadily, growing out of the MUSIC,
pressing in on Neo until it is all he can hear as we --

CUT TO:

14 INT. NEO'S APARTMENT 14

The sound is an ALARM CLOCK, slowly dragging Neo to
consciousness. He strains to read the clock-face:
9:15 A.M.

NEO
Shitshitshit.


15 EXT. SKYSCRAPER 15

The downtown office of Meta CorTechs, a software
development company.
Genres: ["Science Fiction"]

Summary Trinity warns Neo about his danger and introduces him to the concept of the Matrix.
Strengths
  • Introduces important concept of the Matrix
Weaknesses
  • No action or conflict
Critique Overall, this is a well-written scene that efficiently introduces the character of Trinity and sets up the central plot of the film.

One thing to note is the heavy reliance on expository dialogue, which is necessary in this case to establish the world-building and plot points. However, it does detract from the natural flow of conversation and feels somewhat unnatural at times.

The setting and description of the apartment are vivid and help to create a distinct atmosphere. It's clear that this is not a typical party scene, but one with a more ominous and secretive vibe.

The dialogue between Neo and Trinity is effective in building tension and intrigue, as well as introducing the concept of the Matrix and the danger that Neo is in. Trinity's seductive and mysterious demeanor adds to the overall mystique of the scene.

Overall, this scene effectively sets up the rest of the film and introduces key plot points and characters.
Suggestions 1. Consider adding more visceral description to evoke the mood of the scene and the intensity of the party. Use sensory details to describe the sounds, smells, and atmosphere of the apartment, which will give the scene more depth.

2. Show more of Neo's discomfort in the situation as he navigates the party. This will create a greater sense of tension and make the tension between Trinity and Neo more palpable.

3. Clarify Trinity's motivations and what she wants from Neo. This will make it easier for the audience to understand her character, and make the exposition feel more organic.

4. Consider making the dialogue more concise and impactful. Trim down the dialogue, and focus on delivering the key points in a more clear and concise manner. The more efficient the dialogue, the more powerful it will be.

5. Use Trinity's body language and action to show her character, rather than just relying on dialogue. Have her act in a way that reflects her confidence and intelligence, rather than just having her tell Neo about it. This will make her character more memorable.



Scene 6 - Neo Faces Consequences
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
16 INT. META CORTECHS OFFICE 16

The main offices are along each wall, the windows
overlooking downtown. RHINEHEART, the ultimate company
man, lectures Neo without looking at him, typing at his
computer continuously.

Neo stares at two window cleaners on a scaffolding
outside, dragging their rubber squeegees down the surface
of the glass.

RHINEHEART
You have a problem with authority,
Mr. Anderson. You believe that
you are special, that somehow the
rules do not apply to you.
Obviously, you are mistaken.

(CONTINUED)
15.

16 CONTINUED: 16

His long, bony fingers resume clicking the keyboard.

RHINEHEART
This company is one of the top
software companies in the world
because every single employee
understands that they are a part
of a whole. Thus, if an employee
has a problem, the company has a
problem.

He turns again.

RHINEHEART
The time has come to make a
choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you
choose to be at your desk on time
from this day forth, or you choose
to find yourself another job. Do
I make myself clear?

NEO
Yes, Mr. Rhineheart. Perfectly
clear.
Genres: ["Action","Sci-Fi","Thriller"]

Summary Rhineheart gives Neo an ultimatum: be on time or find a new job.
Strengths
  • Tense atmosphere
  • Strong characterization for both Neo and Rhineheart
  • Powerful dialogue
Weaknesses
  • Lack of action
Critique Overall, this scene effectively establishes the power dynamic between Rhineheart and Neo, as well as introducing the theme of conformity within the company.

One area for improvement, however, is in the dialogue. While Rhineheart's lines effectively convey his perspective and priorities, Neo's dialogue feels somewhat flat and uninteresting. Additionally, there is some missed opportunity for character development here - could Neo push back against Rhineheart's ultimatum, or show some subversive tendencies in his response?

The focus on the window cleaners outside the window is a nice touch, adding visual interest to an otherwise static scene. However, it would be even stronger if this detail were somehow tied to the larger themes of the story, rather than simply serving as a visual metaphor for Neo's perspective.

Overall, this scene is solid but could benefit from some additional depth and complexity.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Show more of Neo's reactions throughout the scene. This will help the audience connect with him and understand his perspective. For example, you could show him getting increasingly frustrated or anxious as Rhineheart speaks.

2. Add more details to the environment. Although there is a brief mention of the window cleaners outside, there could be more description of the office space, which will make it seem more real and immersive.

3. Consider adding more conflict to the scene. While Rhineheart is clearly confrontational towards Neo, there could be additional tension or drama added to make the scene more engaging. For example, Neo could challenge Rhineheart, or express his own frustration more directly.

4. Think about how the dialogue is phrased. While there is nothing inherently wrong with the dialogue in this scene, it could be reworded to sound more natural or impactful. Consider playing with the sentence structure or word choice to make the dialogue more memorable or meaningful.



Scene 7 - Escape from the Office
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
17 INT. NEO'S CUBICLE 17

The entire floor looks like a human honeycomb, with a
labyrinth of cubicles structured around a core of
elevators.

VOICE (O.S.)
Thomas Anderson?

Neo turns and finds a FEDERAL EXPRESS GUY at his cubicle
door.

NEO
Yeah. That's me.

Neo signs the electronic pad and the Fedex Guy hands him
the softpak.

FEDEX GUY
Have a nice day.

He opens the bag. Inside is a cellular PHONE. It seems
the instant it is in his hand, it RINGS. Unnerved, he
flips it open.

NEO
Hello?

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 16.

17 CONTINUED: 17

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Hello, Neo. Do you know who this
is?

Neo's knees give and he sinks into his chair.

NEO
Morpheus...

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
I've been looking for you, Neo. I
don't know if you're ready to see
what I want to show you, but
unfortunately, we have run out of
time. They're coming for you,
Neo. And I'm not sure what
they're going to do.

NEO
Who's coming for me?

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Stand up and see for yourself.

NEO
Right now?

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Yes. Now.

Neo starts to stand.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Do it slowly. The elevator.

His head peeks up over the partition. At the elevator,
he sees Agent Smith, Agent Brown and Agent Jones leading a
group of cops. A female employee turns and points out
Neo's cubicle.

Neo ducks.

NEO
Holy shit!

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Yes.

One cop stays at the elevator, the others follow the
Agents.

NEO
What the hell do they want with
me?!

(CONTINUED)
17.

17 CONTINUED: (2) 17

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
I'm not sure, but if you don't
want to find out, you better get
out of there.

NEO
How?!

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
I can guide you out, but you have
to do exactly what I say.

The agents are moving quickly towards the cubicle.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
The cubicle across from you is
empty.

NEO
But what if...?

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Go! Now!

Neo lunges across the hall, diving into the other cubicle
just as the Agents turn into his row.

Neo crams himself into a dark corner, clutching the phone
tightly to him.


MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Stay here for a moment.

The Agents enter Neo's empty cubicle. A cop is sent to
search the bathroom.

Morpheus' voice is a whisper in Neo's ear.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
A little longer...

Brown is talking to another employee.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
When I tell you, go to the end of
the row to the first office on the
left, stay as low as you can.

Sweat trickles down his forehead.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Now.

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 18.

17 CONTINUED: (3) 17

Neo rolls out of the cubicle, his eyes popping as he
freezes right behind a cop who has just turned around.

Staying crouched, he sneaks away down the row, shooting
across the opening to the first office on the left.
Genres: ["sci-fi","thriller"]

Summary Neo receives a mysterious message from Morpheus, warning him that the Agents are coming, and he must escape immediately. He narrowly evades capture and hides in an empty cubicle while Morpheus guides him to safety.
Strengths "The scene is tightly written and propels the story forward with urgency and suspense. The use of modern technology adds a layer of intrigue to the plot."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is somewhat limited, but understandable given the circumstances of the scene."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. The description of the cubicles and the setting of the office floor is detailed but not overly verbose. The dialogue is also concise and realistic.

One potential area for improvement is the lack of character development for Neo and Morpheus. While their actions in this scene move the plot forward, we don't get a strong sense of who they are as people. Adding more backstory and personality to their characters would make them more relatable and interesting to the audience.

Additionally, some of the action could be heightened with more sensory detail and tension-building prose. It would also be helpful to see more subtext and hidden agendas beneath the dialogue, adding complexity and intrigue to the scene.

Overall, the scene is well-constructed but could benefit from further character development and sensory detail to increase the tension and complexity.
Suggestions To improve this scene, I would suggest a few changes:

1. Add more visual description to show the action and create tension for the audience. For example, describe Neo's movements as he dodges the agents, or the way the agents move through the cubicles.

2. Give more context about why Neo is being chased by the agents. This will add depth to the scene and give the audience a reason to care about what happens next.

3. Use more dialogue to make the conversation between Neo and Morpheus more engaging and informative. Add in more details about the situation and what Neo needs to do to escape.

4. Consider adding in more characters to the scene to create more conflict and make it more interesting. For example, you could have other workers in the office who are also trying to escape or help Neo.



Scene 8 - Escape to the Scaffold
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
18 INT. EMPTY OFFICE 18

The room is empty.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Good. Outside there is a scaffold.

NEO
How do you know all this?

Morpheus laughs quietly.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
The answer is coming, Neo. There
is a window in front of you. Open
it.

He opens the window. The WIND HOWLS into the room.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
You can use the scaffold to get to
the roof.

NEO
No! It's too far away.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
There's a ledge. It's a short
short climb. You can make it.

Neo looks down; the building's glass wall vertigos into a
concrete chasm.

NEO
No way, no way, this is crazy.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
There are only two ways out of
this building. One is that
scaffold. The other is in their
custody. You take a chance either
way. I leave it to you.

CLICK. He hangs up. Neo looks at the door, then back at
the scaffold.

(CONTINUED)
19.

18 CONTINUED: 18

NEO
This is insane! Why is this
happening to me? What did I do?
I'm nobody. I didn't do anything.

He climbs up onto the window ledge. Hanging onto the
frame, he steps onto the small ledge. The scaffold seems
even farther away.

NEO
I'm going to die.

The WIND suddenly BLASTS up the face of the building,
knocking Neo off balance. Recoiling, he clings harder to
the frame, and the phone falls out of his hand.

He watches as it is swallowed by the distance beneath
him.

NEO
This is insane! I can't do this!
Forget it!

He climbs back into the office just as a cop opens the
door.

NEO
Shit!


19 EXT. SKYSCRAPER 19

The Agents lead a handcuffed Neo out of the revolving
doors, forcing his head down as they push him into the
dark sedan.

Trinity watches in the rearview mirror of her motorcycle.

TRINITY
Shit.
Genres: ["science fiction"]

Summary Neo narrowly escapes from the Agents and seeks refuge in an empty office. Morpheus guides him to safety using a scaffold and the ledge of the building, but Neo initially hesitates and feels overwhelmed. He eventually tries to escape but is caught by the Agents. Trinity watches in disappointment from afar.
Strengths "The tension and suspense build as Neo struggles with fear and uncertainty, and the stakes are raised as he is caught by the Agents."
Weaknesses "The dialogue is a bit repetitive and doesn't reveal much about the characters."
Critique Overall, this scene is well written and serves as an important plot point in the story. However, there are a few things that could be improved.

First, the dialogue between Morpheus and Neo feels a bit on-the-nose and unrealistic. For example, when Neo asks how Morpheus knows about the scaffold, Morpheus responds with a cryptic "The answer is coming, Neo." This feels like a contrived way of building tension rather than a natural conversation between two people.

Second, Neo's internal monologue could be more nuanced. His repeated protests of "this is crazy" and "I'm going to die" feel a bit over-the-top. It might be more interesting if his fear and reluctance were more subtle, showing instead of telling the audience how he feels about the situation.

Finally, the action could be described with more detail. When Neo is knocked off balance by the wind, it would be more thrilling if we could see and feel exactly what's happening to him. Instead, the scene relies on simple language ("he clings harder to the frame") to convey what's happening.

Overall, this scene is serviceable but could benefit from some minor improvements to the dialogue, character development, and action description.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to add more description and sensory detail to the scene. For example, rather than just saying "the wind howls," describe how it feels and sounds to Neo, making the audience more fully experience his fear and discomfort. Additionally, the dialogue could be strengthened by making it more specific to the character's motivations and emotions. For example, why does Neo feel so overwhelmed and helpless in this moment? Expanding on his internal conflict would make the scene more engaging and emotionally resonant. Finally, consider adding more visual variation and interest to the scene, perhaps by changing camera angles or adding more unique shots to give the audience a greater sense of the space and the danger Neo is facing.



Scene 9 - Interrogation Room
  • Overall: 10.0
  • Concept: 10
  • Plot: 10
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
20 INT. INTERROGATION ROOM 20

CLOSE ON a camera monitor; a wide angle view of a white
room where Neo is sitting at a table alone. We MOVE INTO
the monitor, entering the room as if the monitor was a
window.

At the same moment, the door opens and the Agents enter.
Agent Smith sits down across from Neo. A thick manila
envelope slaps down on the table. The name on the file:
"Anderson, Thomas A."

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 20.

20 CONTINUED: 20

AGENT SMITH
As you can see, we've had our eye
on you for some time now, Mr.
Anderson.

He opens the file. Paper rattle marks the silence as he
flips several pages. Neo cannot tell if he is looking at
the file or at him.

AGENT SMITH
It seems that you have been living
two lives. In one life, you are
Thomas A. Anderson, program writer
for a respectable software
company. You have a social
security number, you pay your
taxes and you help your landlady
carry out her garbage.

The pages continue to turn.

AGENT SMITH
The other life is lived in
computers where you go by the
hacker alias Neo, and are guilty
of virtually every computer crime
we have a law for.

Neo feels himself sinking into a pit of shit.

AGENT SMITH
One of these lives has a future.
One of them does not.

He closes the file.

AGENT SMITH
I'm going to be as forthcoming as
I can be, Mr. Anderson. You are
here because we need your help.

He removes his sunglasses, his eyes are an unnatural ice-
blue.

AGENT SMITH
We know that you have been
contacted by a certain individual.
A man who calls himself Morpheus.
Whatever you think you know about
this man is irrelevant. The fact
is that he is wanted for acts of
terrorism in more countries than
any other man in the world.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
21.

20 CONTINUED: (2) 20

AGENT SMITH (CONT'D)
He is considered by many
authorities to be the most
dangerous man alive.

He leans closer.

AGENT SMITH
My colleagues believe that I am
wasting my time with you but I
believe you want to do the right
thing. It is obvious that you are
an intelligent man, Mr. Anderson,
and that you are interested in the
future. That is why I believe you
are ready to put your past
mistakes behind you and get on
with your life.

Neo tries to match his stare.

AGENT SMITH
We are willing to wipe the slate
clean, to give you a fresh start
and all we are asking in return is
your cooperation in bringing a
known terrorist to justice.

Neo nods to himself.

NEO
Yeah. Wow. That sounds like a
real good deal. But I think I
have a better one. How about I
just give you the finger --

He does.

NEO
And you give me my phone call!

Agent Smith puts his glasses back on.

AGENT SMITH
You disappoint me, Mr. Anderson.

NEO
You can't scare me with this
Gestapo crap. I know my rights.
I want my phone call!

Agent Smith smiles.

(CONTINUED)
22.

20 CONTINUED: (3) 20

AGENT SMITH
And tell me, Mr. Anderson, what
good is a phone call if you are
unable to speak?

The question unnerves Neo and strangely he begins to feel
the muscles in his jaw tighten. The standing Agents
snicker, watching Neo's confusion grow into panic.

Neo feels his lips grow soft and sticky as they slowly
seal shut, melding into each other until all traces of
his mouth are gone.

Wild with fear, he lunges for the door but the Agents
restrain him, holding him in the chair.

AGENT SMITH
You are going to help us, Mr.
Anderson, whether you want to or
not.

Smith nods and the other two rip open his shirt. From a
case taken out of his suit coat, Smith removes a long,
fiber-optic wire tap.

Neo struggles helplessly as Smith dangles the wire over
his exposed abdomen. Horrified, he watches as the
electronic device animates, becoming an organic creature
that resembles a hybrid of an insect and a fluke worm.

Thin, whisker-like tendrils reach out and probe into
Neo's navel. He bucks wildly as Smith drops the creature
which looks for a moment like an uncut umbilical cord --

-- before it begins to burrow, its tail thrashing as it
worms its way inside.
Genres: ["Science Fiction"]

Summary Neo is interrogated by Agent Smith and two other Agents about his dual life as a software programmer and a hacker. They offer to clear his record if he helps bring in Morpheus, but when Neo refuses, they use a strange, invasive device to control him.
Strengths
  • Intense atmosphere
  • Creative use of technology
Weaknesses
  • Lack of character development
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively sets up the conflict between Neo and the Agents. The dialogue is sharp and the tension builds gradually as the Agents reveal more and more information about Neo's double life. However, the moment where Neo's lips seal shut and the wire tap becomes an organic creature feels jarring and out-of-place. It shifts the film from a sci-fi thriller to body horror territory, which may not be appealing to all viewers. It would be better to either cut this moment entirely or integrate it more smoothly into the overall tone of the scene.
Suggestions There are a few suggestions to improve this scene:

1. Show Neo's reaction more - As Neo is the main character and is under a lot of stress during this scene, it's important to show his physical and emotional reactions more. This can help the audience connect better with the character and the stakes of the scene.

2. Cut down on the exposition - While it's important to set up Neo's dual personas, there is a lot of exposition in this scene that can be cut down. Try to show this information through Neo's actions and reactions rather than telling the audience.

3. Build tension gradually - The tension in this scene is high from the beginning, but it can be beneficial to build it up gradually. Perhaps start with a more cordial conversation between Neo and the agents before the exposition and the threats come into play.

4. Make the threat more personal - The threat of the wire tap is daunting and grotesque, but it could be made more personal to Neo. Perhaps the agents could use his loved ones or something else important to him as leverage to get him to cooperate.

Overall, this scene has a lot of potential but could benefit from some refinement to make it more engaging for the audience.



Scene 10 - Meeting Morpheus
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
21 INT. NEO'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 21

Screaming, Neo bolts upright in bed.

He realizes that he is home. Was it a dream? His mouth
is normal. His stomach looks fine. He starts to take a
deep, everything-is-okay breath when --

The PHONE RINGS.

It almost stops his heart. It continues RINGING,
building pressure in the room, forcing him up out of bed,
sucking him in with an almost gravitational force. He
answers it, saying nothing.

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 23.

21 CONTINUED: 21

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
This line is tapped so I must be
brief.

NEO
The Agents --

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
They got to you first, but they've
underestimated how important you
are. If they knew what I know,
you would probably be dead.

NEO
What are you talking about? What
the hell is happening to me?

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
You're the One, Neo. You see, you
may have spent the last few years
looking for me, but I've spent
most of my life looking for you.

Neo feels sick.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Do you still want to meet?

NEO
... Yes.

MORPHEUS (V.O.)
Go to the Adams Street bridge.

CLICK. He closes his eyes, unsure of what he has done.


22 EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT 22

It is just beyond the middle of the night; that time when
it seems there are no rules and everything feels unsafe.
Neo's boots scrape against the concrete. Every pair of
eyes he passes seems to follow him. Rain pours from a
black sky.

As he reaches the bridge, headlights creep in behind him.
He turns just as the car slides quickly to a stop beside
him. The back door opens.

TRINITY
Get in.
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 24.

23 INT. CAR 23

A large man named APOC is driving. Beside him is a
beautiful androgyne called SWITCH, aiming a large gun at
Neo. WINDOW WIPERS BEAT HEAVILY against the windshield.

NEO
What the hell is this?!

TRINITY
It's necessary, Neo. For our
protection.

NEO
From what?

TRINITY
From you.

She lifts a strange steel and glass device that looks
like a cross between a rib separator, speculum and air
compressor.

SWITCH
Take off your shirt.

He looks at the strange device and the gun still trained
on him.

NEO
What? Why?

SWITCH
Stop the car.

Apoc does.

SWITCH
Listen to me, coppertop! We don't
have time for 'twenty questions.'
Right now there is only one rule.
Our way or the highway.

NEO
Fine.

Neo opens the door.

TRINITY
Neo, please, you have to trust me.

NEO
Why?

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 25.

23 CONTINUED: 23

TRINITY
Because you've been down there,
Neo. You already know that road.
You know exactly where it ends.

Neo stares out into the sheets of rain railing against
the dark street beyond the open door.

TRINITY
And I know that's not where you
want to be.

He closes the door.


A23 EXT. DARK STREET A23

A moment later the green street lights curve over the
car's tinted windshield as it rushes through the wet
underworld.
Genres: ["Science Fiction"]

Summary Neo receives a call from Morpheus telling him that he is the One. He meets Trinity, who brings him to Morpheus' location.
Strengths "The suspenseful tone, the reveal of Neo as the One, and the introduction of Morpheus and his team."
Weaknesses "A lot of exposition and not much action."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively creates tension and mystery. The use of sensory details, such as the rain and the sound of the phone ringing, add to the intensity of the scene. However, there are a few areas where the writing could be tightened up for greater impact.

First, the dialogue between Neo and Morpheus could benefit from more clarity and specificity. When Morpheus tells Neo that he's "the One," it's not entirely clear what he means or why Neo is so important. Adding more specific details about the Matrix and Neo's role in it would make this revelation more impactful.

Secondly, the dialogue between Neo and Trinity could also be more specific. When she tells Neo to trust her, it's not clear why he should trust her or what she's referring to when she says "you've been down there." Providing more context for their relationship and the stakes involved would make this dialogue more meaningful.

Overall, though, this scene effectively sets up the main conflict of the story and leaves the audience intrigued to learn more.
Suggestions One suggestion would be to add more physical description and action to the scene to make it more engaging and visually interesting for the audience. For example, when Neo answers the phone, show him scrambling out of bed and maybe knocking things over in his haste to reach it. During the car ride, show Neo's reactions to what's happening around him, such as the rain pounding against the windows and the tension in the air. Additionally, consider adding more specific details and dialogue to flesh out the characters and their motivations, especially in the opening conversation between Neo and Morpheus. This will help build more tension and conflict, and make the audience more invested in what's happening on screen.



Scene 11 - Extracting a Bug
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 7
24 INT. CAR 24

Neo grudgingly strips off his T-shirt.

TRINITY
Lie back.

Trinity aims the device at Neo, its glass snout forming a
seal over his navel. Switch snaps a cable into the front
seat cigarette lighter.

NEO
What is this thing?

TRINITY
We think you're bugged. Try to
relax.

She turns a dial and the machine bears down on Neo's
midsection, the cylinder sucking hard at his stomach.

Neo screams, squinting in pain as Trinity watches the
needle on a pressure gauge climb steadily.

TRINITY
Come on, come on...

On a small monitor that projects an ultrasound-like
image, we see Neo's insides begin to slither and churn.
He gasps as something wiggles beneath his skin inside his
stomach.

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 26.

24 CONTINUED: 24

SWITCH
It's on the move.

TRINITY
Shit.

SWITCH
You're gonna lose it.

TRINITY
No I'm not. Clear.

The foreboding word hangs in Neo's ear for a moment when
Trinity squeezes a trigger. Electric current hammers
into Neo and rigid convulsions take hold of him beneath
the flickering car lamp until --

Something finally rockets wetly out of Neo's stomach
through the extractor's coils.

NEO
Jesus Christ! It's real?!
That thing is real?!

Trinity lifts a glass cage at the end of the tubing.
Inside, the small fluke-like bug flips and squirms, its
tendrils flapping against the clear walls.

She unrolls the window and dumps it out.


25 EXT. CAR 25

It hits the pavement with a metallic tink, reverted back
into a common wire tap, as the car disappears into the
rainy night.


26 EXT. HOTEL LAFAYETTE 26

The car stops in a deserted alley behind a forgotten
hotel.


27 INT. HOTEL LAFAYETTE 27

It is a place of putrefying elegance, a rotting host of
urban maggotry.

Trinity leads Neo from the stairwell down the hall of the
thirteenth floor. They stop outside room 1313.

TRINITY
This is it.

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 27.

27 CONTINUED: 27

Neo can hear his own heart pounding.

TRINITY
Let me give one piece of advice.
Be honest. He knows more than you
can possibly imagine.
Genres: ["Science fiction","Action"]

Summary Trinity and Switch with Neo driving to meet Morpheus remove a bug from Neo's stomach
Strengths
  • Tension built throughout the scene
  • Unique concept of removing a bug from Neo's stomach
  • Strong acting
Weaknesses
  • Some of the dialogue is exposition-heavy and slows down the action
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and engages the audience with its tension and mystery. The dialogue is mostly believable, and the actions are described in a clear and concise manner. However, there are a few areas where the scene could be improved:

1. Clarity: While the actions are described well, the purpose of the scene is somewhat unclear. It is not fully explained why Neo is being scanned or who "he" is that Trinity warns Neo about. Adding a bit more context to the scene would help clarify these points.

2. Character development: While this scene has good tension and action, it doesn't do much to develop the characters. We don't learn anything new about Neo or Trinity here, and their dialogue doesn't reveal much about their personalities or motivations. Adding some character depth would add more layers to the scene and make it more engaging for the audience.

3. Sensory detail: While the scene does engage the audience's sense of tension, it could benefit from more sensory detail to make it more immersive. Descriptions of the sounds, smells, and tactile sensations could help the audience feel more like they are in the scene.

Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging, but could benefit from a bit more context, character development, and sensory detail.
Suggestions Here are a few suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Clarify the purpose of the bug extraction device. It's not immediately clear why they're doing this to Neo, and it feels like a jarring moment without proper setup. Adding a line about how the machines have been known to implant bugs in their human captives could help contextualize this moment.

2. Develop Neo's reaction to the bug extraction. This is a moment of high tension and physical distress for Neo, but his emotional reaction feels muted. Consider adding a beat where he struggles to catch his breath and process what just happened.

3. Use more sensory detail throughout the scene. Right now, it's mostly dialogue and action, but adding in descriptions of the sounds, smells, and physical sensations (like the heat from the cigarette lighter or the taste of bile in Neo's mouth) can pull the audience deeper into the moment.

4. Consider restructuring the scene so that it builds more naturally towards the reveal of the bug. Right now, it's a little disjointed - they're doing this extraction thing, and then suddenly there's a bug in Neo's belly, and then it's over. Maybe have Trinity and Neo discuss the possibility of being bugged earlier in the scene, so that when they uncover the bug it feels like a real victory. And then take the time to explore both the horror and the triumph of that moment.

5. Finally, consider adding some internal thoughts or emotions for Trinity. Right now, she's mostly focused on the technical process of getting the bug out, but we don't get a sense of what this moment means to her on a personal level. Does she feel vindicated? Relieved? Angry that the machines are encroaching on their privacy in this way? Adding some interiority for Trinity can deepen her character and enrich the scene.



Scene 12 - The Red Pill
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 10
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 9
  • Dialogue: 9
28 INT. ROOM 1313 28

Across the room, a DARK FIGURE stares out the tall
windows veiled with decaying lace. He turns and his
smile lights up the room. A dull ROAR of THUNDER shakes
the old building.

MORPHEUS
At last.

He wears a long black coat and his eyes are invisible
behind circular mirrored glasses. He strides to Neo and
they shake hands.

MORPHEUS
Welcome, Neo. As you no doubt
have guessed, I am Morpheus.

NEO
It's an honor.

MORPHEUS
No, the honor is mine. Please.
Come. Sit.

He nods to Trinity and she exits through a door to an
adjacent room. They sit across from one another in
cracked, burgundy-leather chairs.

MORPHEUS
I imagine, right now, you must be
feeling a bit like Alice, tumbling
down the rabbit hole?

NEO
You could say that.

MORPHEUS
I can see it in your eyes. You
have the look of a man who accepts
what he sees because he is
expecting to wake up.

A smile, razor-thin, curls the corner of his lips.

(CONTINUED)
28.

28 CONTINUED: 28

MORPHEUS
Ironically, this is not far from
the truth. But I'm getting ahead
of myself. Can you tell me, Neo,
why are you here?

NEO
You're Morpheus. You're a legend.
Most hackers would die to meet
you.

MORPHEUS
Yes. Thank you. But I think we
both know there's more to it than
that. Do you believe in fate,
Neo?

NEO
No.

MORPHEUS
Why not?

NEO
Because I don't like the idea that
I'm not in control of my life.

MORPHEUS
I know exactly what you mean.

Again, that smile that could cut glass.

MORPHEUS
Let me tell you why you are here.
You have come because you know
something. What you know you
can't explain but you feel it.
You've felt it your whole life,
felt that something is wrong with
the world. You don't know what,
but it's there like a splinter in
your mind, driving you mad. It is
this feeling that brought you to
me. Do you know what I'm talking
about?

NEO
The Matrix?

MORPHEUS
Do you want to know what it is?

Neo swallows hard and nods.

(CONTINUED)
29.

28 CONTINUED: (2) 28

MORPHEUS
The Matrix is everywhere, it's all
around us, here even in this room.
You can see it out your window or
on your television. You feel it
when you go to work, or go to
church or pay your taxes. It is
the world that has been pulled
over your eyes to blind you from
the truth.

NEO
What truth?

MORPHEUS
That you are a slave, Neo. Like
everyone else, you were born into
bondage, kept inside a prison that
you cannot smell, taste, or touch.
A prison for your mind.

The LEATHER CREAKS as he leans back.

MORPHEUS
Unfortunately, no one can be told
what the Matrix is. You have to
see it for yourself.

Morpheus opens his hands. In the right is a red pill.
In the left, a blue pill.

MORPHEUS
This is your last chance. After
this, there is no going back. You
take the blue pill and the story
ends. You wake in your bed and
you believe whatever you want to
believe.

The pills in his open hands are reflected in the glasses.

MORPHEUS
You take the red pill and you stay
in Wonderland and I show you how
deep the rabbit-hole goes.

Neo feels the smooth skin of the capsules, the moisture
growing in his palms.

MORPHEUS
Remember that all I am offering is
the truth. Nothing more.

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 30.

28 CONTINUED: (3) 28

Neo opens his mouth and swallows the red pill. The
Cheshire smile returns.

MORPHEUS
Follow me.
Genres: ["Sci-fi","Action"]

Summary Morpheus explains to Neo his true destiny and offers him a choice between the red pill or the blue pill. Neo chooses the red pill and follows Morpheus.
Strengths
  • The iconic choice between the red and blue pill
  • Morpheus' compelling monologue that explains the reality of the Matrix
  • The significant plot development in introducing Neo's true destiny as the One
Weaknesses
  • The scene is mostly dialogue-driven, which might make it less visually impactful
Critique Overall, this is a very well-written scene. The dialogue is strong and the character of Morpheus is intriguing and captivating. The use of metaphor and symbolism, such as the red and blue pills, adds depth to the scene and the story as a whole.

However, it could be improved by adding more description of the surroundings and the characters' actions. For example, when Trinity exits the room, it would be helpful to describe her demeanor or any physical actions she takes. Also, adding more physical description of Morpheus and Neo could help readers visualize the scene more vividly.

Overall, though, this is a strong scene that effectively sets up the rest of the film.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more visual description of the characters and their surroundings to create a stronger sense of atmosphere. For example, instead of just mentioning the decaying lace on the windows, describe the light filtering through it, casting eerie shadows in the room. Additionally, focus on creating more dynamic and visually intriguing shots, such as close-ups of Morpheus' mirrored glasses and Neo's sweating palms as he hesitates to take the red pill.

Another suggestion would be to tighten up the dialogue and make it more efficient. While the conversation between Morpheus and Neo is important for conveying the central themes of the film, some of the lines feel repetitive or over-explained. Cut down on the exposition and allow the visuals and performances to convey some of the subtext instead.

Finally, consider adding more internal conflict for Neo in this scene. As it is, he seems all too eager to believe Morpheus' words and take the red pill without much hesitation. Adding more doubt and hesitation to his character would make the decision to join Morpheus and enter the Matrix feel more weighty and important, and make Neo a more compelling protagonist.



Scene 13 - The Red Pill
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
29 INT. OTHER ROOM 29

He leads Neo into the other room, which is cramped with
high-tech equipment, glowing ash-blue and electric green
from the racks of monitors. Trinity, Apoc, Switch and
Cypher look up as they enter.

MORPHEUS
Apoc, are we on-line?

APOC
Almost.

He and Trinity are working quickly, hardwiring a complex
system of monitors, modules and drives.

MORPHEUS
Neo, time is always against us.
Will you take a seat there?

Neo sits in a chair in the center of the room and Trinity
begins gently fixing white electrode disks to him. Near
the chair is an old oval dressing mirror that is cracked.
He whispers to Trinity:

NEO
You did all this?

She nods, placing a set of headphones over his ears.
They are wired to an old hotel phone.

MORPHEUS
The pill you took is part of a
trace program. It's designed to
disrupt your input/output carrier
signal so we can pinpoint your
location.

NEO
What does that mean?

CYPHER
It means buckle up, Dorothy,
'cause Kansas is going bye-bye.

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 31.

29 CONTINUED: 29

Distantly, through the ear phones, he hears Apoc POUNDING
on a KEYBOARD. Sweat beads his face. His eyes blink and
twitch when he notices the mirror.

Wide-eyed, he stares as it begins to heal itself, a
webwork of cracks that slowly run together as though the
mirror were becoming liquid.

NEO
Did you...?

Cypher works with Apoc, checking reams of phosphorescent
data. Trinity monitors Neo's electric vital signs. Neo
reaches out to touch the mirror and his fingers disappear
beneath the rippling surface.

Quickly, he tries to pull his fingers out but the mirror
stretches in long rubbery strands like mirrored taffy
stuck to his fingertips.

MORPHEUS
Have you ever had a dream, Neo,
that you were so sure was real?

A flash of lightning flickers white hot against Neo.

NEO
This can't be...

MORPHEUS
Be what? Be real?

The strands thin like rubber cement as he pulls away,
until the fragile wisps of mirror thread break.

MORPHEUS
What if you were unable to wake
from that dream, Neo? How would
you know the difference between
the dreamworld and the real world?

Neo looks at his hand; fingers distended into mirrored
icicles that begin to melt rapidly, dripping, running
like wax down his fingers, spreading across his palm
where he sees his face reflected.

NEO
Uh-oh...

TRINITY
It's going into replication.

MORPHEUS
Apoc?

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 32.

29 CONTINUED: (2) 29

APOC
Still nothing.

Morpheus takes out a cellular phone and dials a number.

MORPHEUS
Tank, we're going to need the
signal soon.

The mirror gel seems to come to life, racing, crawling up
his arms like hundreds of insects.

The mirror creeps up his neck as Neo begins to panic,
tipping his head as though he were sinking into the
mirror, trying to keep his mouth up.

NEO
It's cold.

TRINITY
I got fibrillation!

MORPHEUS
Shit! Apoc?

Streams of mercury run from Neo's nose.

APOC
Targeting... almost there.

An ALARM on Trinity's monitor ERUPTS.

TRINITY
He's going into arrest!

APOC
Lock! I got him!

MORPHEUS
Now, Tank, now!

His eyes tear with mirror, rolling up and closing as a
HIGH-PITCHED ELECTRIC SCREAM erupts in the HEADPHONES.
It is a piercing shriek like a computer calling to
another computer --

Neo's body arches in agony and we are PULLED like we were
pulled INTO the holes of the phone, sucked into his scream
and swallowed by darkness.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action"]

Summary Neo is taken to a high-tech room where Morpheus and his team place special electrodes on him. They explain that the pill he took was designed to allow them to locate him. Neo becomes frightened as the world around him begins to morph, and he realizes he is not in the reality he thought he was in.
Strengths "Introduction of the iconic red pill and blue pill concept. Great use of visual effects with the mirror. Intense scene that hooks the viewer in."
Weaknesses "Dialogue could have been more impactful. Some of the acting felt flat."
Critique Overall, this scene has good pacing and tension. It does a great job of building up suspense as Neo is strapped into the high-tech equipment and the stakes of the situation become clearer. The dialogue is also effective at revealing the characters' personalities and motivations without becoming too exposition-heavy.

One minor critique is that some of the technical jargon might be confusing for viewers who aren't familiar with computer technology. It might be helpful to simplify some of the language or include more visual cues to help the viewer understand what's happening on screen.

Another potential issue is that the scene relies heavily on CGI effects to convey the surreal and hallucinatory nature of the experience. While this can be visually stunning, it may also feel dated or cheesy to modern viewers. If this scene were being written today, it might be worth exploring other, more immersive ways to convey the sense of disorientation and unreality that Neo is experiencing.

Overall, though, this scene effectively sets up the central conflict and themes of The Matrix, while also delivering an exciting and visually striking sequence that keeps the viewer engaged.
Suggestions Here are some suggestions to improve the scene:

1. Add more visual description. The scene is very heavy on dialogue and it would benefit from more visual details that could help enhance the atmosphere and tone of the scene. For example, what do the high-tech monitors and equipment look like? Is the room dimly lit or brightly lit? Does it feel claustrophobic or does it have an open layout?

2. Develop character emotions. The scene could benefit from more emotional depth. How do the characters feel about what is happening? Do they feel anxious, scared, excited, or indifferent? Adding more emotional context could help the audience connect with the characters and make the scene more engaging.

3. Tighten up the dialogue. Some of the lines in the scene are a bit clunky and could be tightened up. For example, the line "It's going into replication" could be rewritten to sound more natural and concise.

4. Add more sensory details. The scene is very visual and auditory, but more sensory details could help immerse the audience in the experience. For example, what does the mercury that runs from Neo's nose smell like? Does it have a metallic odor? Adding more sensory details could help make the scene more impactful.



Scene 14 - Neo's Awakening
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 6
30 INT. POWER PLANT - CLOSE ON MAN'S BODY 30

floating in a magenta amnion.

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 33.

30 CONTINUED: 30

His body spasms, fighting against the thick gelatin.

Metal tubes, surreal versions of hospital tubes, obscure
his face. Other lines like IVs are connected to limbs
and cover his genitals.

He is struggling desperately now. Air bubbles into the
Jell-O but does not break the surface. Pressing up, the
surface distends, stretching like a red rubber cocoon.

Unable to breathe, he fights wildly to stand, clawing at
the thinning elastic shroud, until it ruptures, a hole
widening around his mouth as he sucks for air. Tearing
himself free, he emerges from the cell.

It is Neo.

He is bald and naked, his body slick with gelatin.
Dizzy, nauseous, he waits for his vision to focus.

He is standing in an oval capsule of clear alloy filled
with magenta gelatin, the surface of which has solidified
like curdled milk. The IVs in his arms are plugged into
outlets that appear to be grafted to his flesh.

He feels the weight of another cable and reaches to the
back of his head where he finds an enormous coaxial
plugged and locked into the base of his skull. He tries
to pull it out but it would be easier to pull off a
finger.

To either side he sees other tube-shaped pods filled with
magenta gelatin; beneath the wax-like surface, pale and
motionless, he sees other human beings.

Fanning out in a circle, there are more. All connected
to a center core, each capsule like a red, dimly-glowing
petal attached to a black metal stem.

Above him, level after level, the stem rises seemingly
forever. He moves to the foot of the capsule and looks
out. The image assaults his mind.

Towers of glowing petals spiral up to incomprehensible
heights, disappearing down into a dim murk like an
underwater abyss.

His sight is blurred and warped, exaggerating the
intensity of the vision. The sound of the plant is like
the sound of the ocean heard from inside the belly of
Leviathan.

(CONTINUED)
34.

30 CONTINUED: (2) 30

From above, a machine drops directly in front of Neo. He
swallows his scream as it seems to stare at him. It is
almost insect-like in its design; beautiful housings of
alloyed metal covering organic-like systems of hard and
soft polymers.

The machine seizes hold of Neo, paralyzing him as the
cable lock at the back of his neck spins and opens.

The cable disengages itself. A long, clear plastic
needle and cerebrum-chip slides from the anterior of
Neo's skull with an ooze of blood and spinal fluid. The
other connective hoses snap free and snake away as the
machine lets Neo go.

Suddenly, the back of the unit opens and a tremendous
vacuum, like an airplane door opening, sucks the gelatin
and then Neo into a black hole.


31 INT. WASTE LINE 31

The pipe is a waste disposal system and Neo falls,
sliding with the clot of gelatin.

Banking through pipe spirals and elbows, flushing up
through grease traps clogged with oily clumps of
cellulite.


32 INT. SEWER MAIN 32

Neo begins to drown when he is suddenly snatched from the
flow of waste.

The metallic cable then lifts, pulling him up into the
belly of the futuristic flying machine hovering inside
the sewer main.


33 INT. HOVERCRAFT 33

The metal harness opens and drops the half-conscious Neo
onto the floor. Human hands and arms help him up as he
finds himself looking straight at Morpheus.

He smiles.

MORPHEUS
Welcome to the real world, Neo.

Neo passes out.

FADE TO BLACK.
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 35.

FADE IN:

34 INT. HOVERCRAFT 34

We have no sense of time. We hear voices whispering.

MORPHEUS (O.S.)
We've done it, Trinity. We found
him.

TRINITY (O.S.)
I hope you're right.

MORPHEUS (O.S.)
I don't have to hope it. I know
it.

Neo's eyes flutter open. We see Morpheus' face above us,
angelic in the fluorescent glow of a light stick.

NEO (O.S.)
... am I dead?

MORPHEUS
Far from it.

FADE TO BLACK.


35 INT. HOVERCRAFT - INFIRMARY 35

He opens his eyes again, something tingling through him.
He focuses and sees his body pierced with dozens of
acupuncture-like needles wired to a strange device.

DOZER
He still needs a lot of work.

DOZER and Morpheus are operating on Neo.

NEO
What are you doing?

MORPHEUS
Your muscles have atrophied.
We're rebuilding them.

Fluorescent light sticks burn unnaturally bright.

NEO
Why do my eyes hurt?

MORPHEUS
You've never used them before.

Morpheus closes Neo's eyes and Neo lays back.

(CONTINUED)
36.

35 CONTINUED: 35

MORPHEUS
Rest, Neo. The answers are
coming.
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Action"]

Summary Neo wakes up to find himself trapped in a high-tech power plant where his body is wired to strange devices. He is then rescued by Morpheus and his team and taken to a hovercraft where they begin to rebuild his atrophied muscles.
Strengths "The scene effectively builds suspense and introduces the audience to the dystopian world of The Matrix. The use of visual imagery to describe Neo's awakening is powerful."
Weaknesses "The dialogue in the scene is minimal and does not provide much insight into the characters' personalities or motivations."
Critique As a screenwriting expert, the following scene is a well-written and vivid description of Neo's awakening in the power plant. The use of surreal and abstract imagery adds to the worldbuilding of the story, and the physical struggle of Neo against the gelatin adds a sense of urgency and danger to the scene. The reveal of the other humans in similar capsules creates a sense of horror and dread.

The transition to Neo's journey through the waste line and sewer main feels like an abrupt shift in tone, but the use of visual descriptions and sound effects help to ground the audience in the environment. The rescue by the hovercraft and the introduction of Morpheus and Trinity add a sense of mystery and intrigue to the story.

Overall, the scene effectively establishes the unique and fantastical setting of the film while also introducing the protagonist and setting up his journey towards understanding the truth about his reality.
Suggestions My suggestions for improving this scene:

1. Add more sensory details to immerse the audience in the world - what does the magenta amnion feel like? What does the gelatin smell like? What are the sounds present in the power plant?

2. Add more emotional depth to Neo's experience - how does he feel as he struggles for air? How does he feel as he emerges from the cell? Does he feel a sense of panic or relief?

3. Use more concise descriptions for the machines and technology - for example, instead of "almost insect-like in its design; beautiful housings of alloyed metal covering organic-like systems of hard and soft polymers," simply describe it as an insectoid machine with alloyed metal and organic-like systems.

4. Clarify the passage of time in the scene - when Neo is being operated on by Dozer and Morpheus, it is unclear how much time has passed since he was rescued from the power plant.

5. Expand on Neo's confusion and disbelief at being in the "real world" - he has just been thrust into an entirely new reality, and it would be interesting to explore his emotions and reactions more deeply.



Scene 15 - Neo Discovers the Truth
  • Overall: 8.1
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
36 INT. NEO'S ROOM 36

Neo wakes up from a deep sleep, feeling better. He begins
to examine himself. There is a futuristic IV plugged into
the jack in his forearm. He pulls it out, staring at the
grafted outlet.

He runs his hand over the short hair now covering his
head. His fingers find and explore the large outlet in
the base of his skull.

Just as he starts to come unglued, Morpheus opens the
door.

NEO
Morpheus, what's happened to me?
What is this place?

MORPHEUS
More important than what is when?

NEO
When?

MORPHEUS
You believe the year is 1997 when
in fact it is much closer to 2197.
I can't say for certain what year
it is because we honestly do not
know.

The wind is knocked from Neo's chest.

MORPHEUS
There is no reason for me to try
to explain it when I can simply
show it. Come with me.


37 INT. HOVERCRAFT 37

Like a sleepwalker, Neo follows Morpheus through the
ship.

MORPHEUS
This is my ship, the
Nebuchadnezzar. It's a
hovercraft.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 37.

37 CONTINUED: 37

MORPHEUS (CONT'D)
Small like a submarine. It's
cramped and cold. But it's home.

They climb a ladder up to the main deck.


38 INT. MAIN DECK 38

Everyone is there.

MORPHEUS
This is the main deck. You know
most of my crew.

Trinity smiles and nods.

MORPHEUS
The ones you don't know. That's
Mouse, Cypher, and Switch. Those
two guys are Tank and Dozer.

The names and faces wash meaninglessly over Neo.

MORPHEUS
And this, this is the Core. This
is where we broadcast our pirate
signal and hack into the Matrix.

It is a swamp of bizarre electronic equipment. Vines of
coaxial hang and snake to and from huge monolithic
battery slabs, a black portable satellite dish and banks
of life systems and computer monitors.

At the center of the web, there are six ecto-skeleton
chairs made of a poly-alloy frame and suspension harness.
Near the circle of chairs is the control console and
operator's station where the network is monitored.

MORPHEUS
You want to know what the Matrix
is, Neo? The answer is right
here.

He touches the back of Neo's head.

MORPHEUS
Help him, Trinity.

Neo allows himself to be helped into one of the chairs.
He feels Morpheus guiding a coaxial line into the jack at
the back of his neck. The cable has the same kind of
cerebrum chip we saw inside the plant.

(CONTINUED)
38.

38 CONTINUED: 38

MORPHEUS
This will feel a little weird.

There are several disturbing noises as he works the
needle in.

We MOVE IN as Neo's shoulders bunch and his face tightens
into a grimace until a loud CLICK fires and his ears pop
like when you equalize them underwater.

He relaxes, opening his eyes as we PULL BACK to a feeling
of weightlessness inside another place --
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Action"]

Summary Neo wakes up to find himself in a high-tech room where Morpheus and his team have placed electrodes on him. He becomes frightened as the world around him morphs and realizes he is not in the reality he thought was real.
Strengths
  • Reveals the truth behind the story
  • Introduces the core concept of the plot
Weaknesses
  • Could be confusing to a viewer who is not familiar with the concept of virtual reality
Critique Overall, the scene is well-written and effectively establishes the confusion and disorientation Neo feels upon waking up in the hovercraft. The dialogue between Neo and Morpheus effectively establishes the concept of the Matrix and the time difference between Neo’s perceived reality and the actual reality. The introduction of the rest of the crew and the Core also effectively establish the world-building of the story.

However, the scene could benefit from additional description and sensory detail to fully immerse the audience into the unfamiliar world of the Matrix. Specifically, more detail about the physical sensations Neo feels as Morpheus inserts the coaxial line into his neck could heighten the intensity and discomfort of the moment. Additionally, more description about the appearance and functionality of the Core and the electronic equipment within could further establish the technological nature of the Matrix world. Overall, the scene effectively introduces key plot points and world-building elements, but could benefit from additional detail to enhance the audience's experience.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well written and communicates the necessary information to the audience. However, here are a few suggestions for how to improve it:

1. Amplify Neo's reaction: Neo has just woken up and is confronted with a shocking reality. He should be more disoriented and panicked. Consider having him struggle to stand up, or have his heart race as he looks around the room. This will help build tension and make the scene more engaging.

2. Use more descriptive language: The scene could benefit from more sensory detail. Instead of simply saying that Neo runs his hand over his head, describe what the hair feels like. Use words like "stubby" or "coarse" to add texture to the prose.

3. Simplify the exposition: The dialogue in this scene is heavy on exposition. While it's necessary to communicate the information about the year and the Matrix, try to do so in a way that feels more natural to the characters. For example, have Morpheus explain the situation in response to a specific question from Neo, rather than in a monologue.

4. Cut unnecessary details: There's a lot of detail in this scene that doesn't add much to the story. Consider trimming down descriptions of equipment and minor characters to focus on the main action and relationships between the characters.



Scene 16 - Entering the Construct
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 7
39 INT. CONSTRUCT 39

Neo is standing in an empty, blank-white space.

MORPHEUS
This is the Construct.

Startled, Neo whips around and finds Morpheus now in the
room with him.

MORPHEUS
It is our loading program. We can
load anything from clothes, to
weapons, to training simulations.
Anything we need.

Morpheus walks past Neo and when Neo turns he sees the
two leather chairs from the Hotel Lafayette set up in
front of a large screen television.

MORPHEUS
Sit down.

Neo stands at the back of the chair as Morpheus sits.

NEO
Right now, we're inside a computer
program?

Morpheus smiles.

MORPHEUS
Is it so hard to believe? Your
clothes are different, the plugs
in your arms and head are gone.
Look at your hair, you were bald a
moment ago.

Neo touches his head.

(CONTINUED)
39.

39 CONTINUED: 39

MORPHEUS
It's what we call residual self
image. The mental projection of
your electronic self. Wild, isn't
it?

Neo's hands run over the cracked leather.

NEO
This -- This isn't real?

MORPHEUS
What is real? How do you define
real? If you're talking about
what you feel, taste, smell, or
see, then real is simply
electrical signals interpreted by
your brain.

He picks up a remote control and clicks on the
television. On the television, we see images of the
Twentieth Century city where Neo lived.

MORPHEUS
This is the world you know. The
world as it was at the end of the
Twentieth Century. It exists now
only as part of a neural-
interactive simulation that we
call the Matrix.

He changes the channel and we see a very different city
as we enter the television.

MORPHEUS
You have been living inside a
dreamworld, Neo. As in
Baudrillard's vision, your whole
life has been spent inside the
map, not the territory. This is
the world as it exists today.

In the distance, we see the ruins of a future city
protruding from the wasteland like the blackened ribs of
a long-dead corpse.

MORPHEUS
'The desert of the real.'

Beneath us, the water is gone.

(CONTINUED)
40.

39 CONTINUED: (2) 39


We TURN AND DESCEND, SPIRALING DOWN TOWARD the lake bed
which is scorched and split like burnt flesh, where we
FIND Morpheus and Neo. Neo clings to the chair, trying
to get his bearings.

MORPHEUS
We have only bits and pieces of
information. What we know for
certain is that, at some point in
the early Twenty-first Century,
all of mankind was united in
celebration. Through the blinding
inebriation of hubris, we marveled
at our magnificence as we gave
birth to A.I.

NEO
A.I.? You mean artificial
intelligence?

MORPHEUS
Yes. A singular consciousness
that spawned an entire race of
machines. I must say I find it
almost funny to imagine the world
slapping itself on the back,
toasting the new age. I say
almost funny.

He looks up and his sunglasses reflect the obsidian
clouds roiling overhead.

MORPHEUS
We don't know who struck first.
Us or them. But we do know it was
us that scorched the sky. At the
time, they were dependent on solar
power. It was believed they would
be unable to survive without an
energy source as abundant as the
sun.

As we DESCEND INTO the circular window of his glasses,
there is a flash of lightning.

MORPHEUS
Throughout human history, we have
been dependent on machines to
survive. Fate, it seems, is not
without a sense of irony.
41.
Genres: ["Sci-Fi","Drama"]

Summary Morpheus explains to Neo the nature of the Matrix and the real world
Strengths "The scene is informative and establishes important background information for the story. The dialogue is philosophical and thought-provoking."
Weaknesses "The scene lacks action and may be slow-paced for some viewers."
Critique Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively sets up the concept of the Matrix and the world outside of it. The dialogue between Morpheus and Neo is clear and engaging, and the descriptions - particularly of the ruined future city - are vivid and memorable.

One small issue is that the scene relies quite heavily on exposition; it's essentially a conversation explaining the premise of the movie. However, given the complexity of the concept, this may be necessary.

Another potential issue is that the scene lacks a clear visual objective. While the TV screen and ruined city are visually interesting, they don't necessarily provide a clear sense of what Neo should be looking at or reacting to. This may make the scene feel slightly static or passive.

Overall, though, this scene does a good job of introducing the audience to the world of the Matrix and setting up the driving conflict of the story.
Suggestions Overall, the dialogue in this scene effectively conveys important information to the audience. However, there are a few suggestions that could make the scene more engaging:

1. Add more action and movement to the scene to break up the dialogue. For example, instead of just walking past Neo, have Morpheus demonstrate how to load a weapon or a training simulation.

2. Consider making the visuals of the Construct more interesting and unique. While the blank-white space is a staple of the Matrix, there could be more creative ways to show the loading program.

3. Find a way to make the information about the creation of the machines and the scorched sky more emotionally impactful. This is a pivotal moment in the story and it would be more effective if the audience felt the weight of the situation.

4. Consider trimming some of the dialogue to condense the scene and make it more concise. Some of the explanations may be unnecessary or redundant.



Scene 17 - Revealing the Truth
  • Overall: 9.0
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 9
  • Characters: 8
  • Dialogue: 8
40 EXT. FETUS FIELDS 40

On the flash, we PULL BACK from the darkness which
reveals itself to be the black eye of a fetus.

MORPHEUS
The Machines discovered a new form
of fusion. All they needed was a
small electrical charge to
initiate the reaction.

The fetus is suspended in a placenta-like husk, where its
malleable skull is already growing around the brain-jack.

MORPHEUS
The human body generates more
bioelectricity than a 120-volt
battery and over 25,000 B.T.U.'s
of body heat.

The husk hanging from a stalk is plucked by a thresher-
like farm machine.

MORPHEUS
There are fields, endless fields
where human beings are no longer
born; we are grown.

We RISE UP, the field stretching in every direction to
the horizon, lightning tearing open the sky as a
harvester sweeps past us.


A40 INT. POWER PLANT A40

From the yawning black of the waste port, we begin to
PULL BACK as it snaps shut.

Red amniotic gel flows into the pod below us, pooling
around a tiny newborn that suckles its feed tube.

MORPHEUS
For the longest time, I wouldn't
believe it. But then I saw the
fields with my own eyes, watched
them liquefy the dead so they
could be fed intravenously to the
living and standing there, facing
the efficiency, the pure,
horrifying precision, I came to
realize the obviousness of the
truth.

Still PULLING BACK, we see the image of the power plant
now on the television as we return to the white space of
the construct.
42.

41 INT. CONSTRUCT 41

Morpheus steps INTO VIEW as he clicks off the television.

MORPHEUS
What is the Matrix? Control.

He opens the back of the television remote control.

MORPHEUS
The Matrix is a computer-generated
dreamworld built to keep us under
control in order to change a human
being into this.

He holds up a coppertop battery.

NEO
No! I don't believe it! It's not
possible!

MORPHEUS
I didn't say that it would be
easy, Neo. I just said that it
would be the truth.

NEO
Stop! Let me out! I want out!


42 INT. MAIN DECK 42

His eyes snap open and he thrashes against the chair,
trying to rip the cable from the back of his neck.

NEO
Get this thing out of me!

TRINITY
Easy, Neo. Easy.

Dozer holds him while Trinity unlocks it. Once it's out,
he tears away from them, falling as he trips free of the
harness.

NEO
Don't touch me! Get away from me!

On his hands and knees, he reels as the world spins.
Sweat pours off him as a pressure builds inside his skull
as if his brain had been put into a centrifuge.

NEO
I don't believe it! I don't
believe it!

(CONTINUED)
43.

42 CONTINUED: 42

CYPHER
He's going to pop!

Vomiting violently, Neo pitches forward and blacks out.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Drama","Action"]

Summary Morpheus explains the truth about the Matrix and shows Neo the fields where humans are grown for energy.
Strengths "The scene effectively reveals the shocking truth about the Matrix and prompts Neo's transformation. The dialogue is impactful and the visual depiction of the fields is haunting."
Weaknesses "The scene can be overwhelming for the viewer and may require multiple viewings to fully grasp the complexity of the concept."
Critique Overall, this scene provides clear exposition about the world of the Matrix and how humans are used as a power source for the machines. The use of the fetus fields as a visual motif is unsettling and effective in conveying the horror of the situation. However, there are a few areas that could be improved:

- The dialogue could be more natural and less expositional. The lines about bioelectricity and body heat feel like they are being delivered for the audience's benefit rather than arising naturally in the conversation between Morpheus and Neo.
- The transition from the fetus fields to the power plant feels abrupt and could be smoother.
- The vomiting and blacking out at the end of the scene is somewhat melodramatic and could be toned down for a more subtle effect.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and effectively conveys the central premise of the movie: that humans are being used as a power source by machines in a computer-generated dreamworld known as the Matrix. However, there are a few ways I would suggest improving this scene:

1. The description of the fetus fields could be more vivid and detailed. As written, the scene has a lot of exposition delivered by Morpheus, but it would be more engaging if the visuals were emphasized more. Consider adding more imagery, such as close-ups of the fetus or the thresher-like farm machine in action, to help the audience visualize the strange, dystopian world of the Matrix.

2. The dialogue between Morpheus and Neo could be tightened up. As written, the dialogue is a bit too on-the-nose and expository. Consider rephrasing some of the lines to be a bit more subtle and nuanced. For example, instead of saying "What is the Matrix? Control," Morpheus could say something like, "The Matrix is a prison, Neo. A cage for your mind."

3. The transition between the fetus fields and the power plant is a bit abrupt. Consider adding a transitional shot or dialogue to bridge the gap between the two settings and help the audience understand how they are related.

4. The description of Neo's physical reaction to being unplugged from the Matrix could be more visceral and intense. As written, the scene feels a bit rushed and underplayed. Consider adding more detail about the physical and emotional toll of waking up to the harsh reality of the Matrix.



Scene 18 - The Truth About the Matrix
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 8
43 INT. NEO'S ROOM 43

He blinks, regaining consciousness. The room is dark.
Neo is stretched out on his bed.

NEO
I can't go back, can I?

Morpheus is sitting like a shadow on a chair in the far
corner.

MORPHEUS
No. But if you could, would you
really want to?

Deep down, Neo knows that answer.

MORPHEUS
I feel that I owe you an apology.
There is a rule that we do not
free a mind once it reaches a
certain age. It is dangerous.
They have trouble letting go.
Their mind turns against them.
I've seen it happen. I'm sorry.
I broke the rule because I had to.

He stares into the darkness, confessing as much to
himself as to Neo.

MORPHEUS
When the Matrix was first built
there was a man born inside that
had the ability to change what he
wanted, to remake the Matrix as he
saw fit. It was this man that
freed the first of us and taught
us the truth; as long as the
Matrix exists, the human race will
never be free.

He pauses.

(CONTINUED)
44.

43 CONTINUED: 43

MORPHEUS
When he died, the Oracle
prophesied his return and
envisioned that his coming would
hail the destruction of the
Matrix, an end to the war and
freedom for our people. That is
why there are those of us that
have spent our entire lives
searching the Matrix, looking for
him.

Neo can feel his eyes on him.

MORPHEUS
I did what I did because I believe
the search is over.

He stands up.

MORPHEUS
Get some rest. You're going to
need it.

NEO
For what?

MORPHEUS
Your training.


44 INT. HOVERCRAFT 44

There is no morning; there is only darkness and then the
fluorescent light sticks flicker on.


45 INT. NEO'S ROOM 45

Neo is awake in his bed, staring up at the lights. The
door opens and TANK steps inside.

TANK
Morning. Did you sleep?

NEO
No.

TANK
You will tonight. I guarantee it.
I'm Tank. I'll be your operator.

He offers his hand and Neo shakes it. He notices that
Tank doesn't have any jacks.

(CONTINUED)
45.

45 CONTINUED: 45

NEO
You don't have...

TANK
Any holes? Nope. Me and my
brother Dozer, we are one
hundred percent pure, old-
fashioned, home-grown human.
Born free. Right here in the
real world. Genuine child
of Zion.

NEO
Zion?

TANK
If this war ended tomorrow, Zion
is where the party would be.

NEO
It's a city?

TANK
The last human city. The only
place we got left.

NEO
Where is it?

TANK
Deep underground. Near the
earth's core, where it's still
warm. You live long enough, you
might even see it.
(he smiles)
Goddamn, I got to tell you, I'm
fairly excited to see what you are
capable of. I mean if Morpheus is
right and all. We're not supposed
to talk about any of that but if
you are, well then this is an
exciting time. We got a lot to do
so let's get to it.
Genres: ["Science Fiction","Action"]

Summary Neo wakes up to the truth about the Matrix and learns about the prophecy of a man who can end the war and free humans from their captivity. Morpheus apologizes to Neo for breaking the rules by freeing his mind and explains the reason behind it. Neo meets Tank, who will be his operator and learns about Zion, the last human city.
Strengths "The scene reveals the truth about the Matrix and the prophecy of a man who can end the war and free humans. The dialogue is concise and emotional. The scene moves the story forward by bringing Neo closer to his goal of freeing humans."
Weaknesses "The scene has low emotional impact and character changes. The conflict level is low, and the scene lacks action."
Critique Overall, this scene serves as an important exposition dump, revealing key elements of the story such as the prophecy of the One, the purpose of Zion, and the dangerous consequences of freeing a mind too old. However, the dialogue could be tightened to make it more impactful and less repetitive. For example, Morpheus repeats the same idea about the danger of freeing an older mind twice in the scene. Additionally, the use of "goddamn" feels out of place and potentially jarring to some viewers. Finally, the scene could benefit from more visual elements or actions to break up the talking heads and spice up the visuals.
Suggestions One suggestion to improve this scene would be to add more visual elements to make it more interesting and engaging. As it stands, the scene is mostly a conversation between Neo and Morpheus, without much action or movement. One idea could be to have Neo getting out of bed and moving around his room while they are talking, to add some physical activity to the scene.

Another suggestion would be to add more detail about Zion, the last human city. As it is mentioned briefly, it would be interesting to see some visuals or hear more about what life is like there, to give the audience a better understanding of the world they are in.

Finally, adding some tension or conflict to the scene could make it more compelling. Perhaps Neo is struggling with the idea of not being able to go back to his old life, or has doubts about his ability to train and fight in the war. Creating some internal conflict for the characters can add depth and make the scene more engaging for the audience.



Scene 19 - Combat Training
  • Overall: 8.0
  • Concept: 9
  • Plot: 8
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 7
46 INT. MAIN DECK 46

Neo is plugged in, hanging in one of the suspension
chairs.

(CONTINUED)
46.

46 CONTINUED: 46

TANK
We're supposed to load all these
operations programs first, but
this is some major boring shit.
Why don't we start with something
a little fun?

Tank smiles as he plops into his operator's chair. He
begins flipping through a tall carousel loaded with micro
discs.

TANK
How about some combat training?

Neo reads the label on the disk.

NEO
Jujitsu? I'm going to learn
jujitsu?

Tank slides the disk into Neo's supplement drive.

NEO
No way.

Smiling, Tank punches the "load" code. His body jumps
against the harness as his eyes clamp shut. The monitors
kick wildly as his heart pounds, adrenaline surges, and
his brain sizzles. An instant later his eyes snap open.

NEO
Holy shit!

TANK
Hey, Mikey, he likes it! Ready
for more?

NEO
Hell yes!


47 INT. MAIN DECK 47

CLOSE ON a computer monitor as grey pixels slowly fill a
small, half-empty box. It is a meter displaying how much
download time is left.

The title bar reads: "Combat Series 10 of 12," file
categories flashing beneath it: "Savate, Jujitsu, Ken Po,
Drunken Boxing..."

Morpheus walks in.

(CONTINUED)
THE MATRIX - Rev. 3/9/98 47.

47 CONTINUED: 47

MORPHEUS
How is he?

TANK
Ten hours straight. He's a
machine.

Neo's body spasms and relaxes as his eyes open, breath
hissing from his lips. He looks like he just orgasmed.

NEO
This is incredible. I know kung
fu.

MORPHEUS
Show me.


48 INT. DOJO 48

They are standing in a very sparse Japanese-style dojo.

MORPHEUS
This is a sparring program,
similar to the programmed reality
of the Matrix. It has the same
basic rules. Rules like gravity.
What you must learn is that these
rules are no different than the
rules of a computer system. Some
of them can be bent. Others can
be broken. Understand?

Neo nods as Morpheus assumes a fighting stance.

MORPHEUS
Then hit me, if you can.

Neo assumes a similar stance, cautiously circling until
he gives a short cry and launches a furious attack.

It is like a Jackie Chan movie at high speed, fists and
feet striking from every angle as Neo presses his attack,
but each and every blow is blocked by effortless speed.


49 INT. MAIN DECK 49

While their minds battle in the programmed reality, the
two bodies appear quite serene, suspended in the drive
chairs.

Tank monitors their Life Systems, noticing that Neo is
wildly and chaotically lit up as opposed to the slow and
steady rhythm of Morpheus.
48.

50 INT. MESS HALL 50

MOUSE bursts into the room, interrupting dinner.

MOUSE
Morpheus is fighting Neo!

All at once, everyone bolts for the door.


51 INT. DOJO 51

Neo's face is knotted, teeth clenched, as he hurls
himself at Morpheus.

MORPHEUS
Good. Adaptation. Improvisation.
But your weakness isn't your
technique.

Morpheus attacks him and it is like nothing we have seen.
His feet and fists are everywhere, taking Neo apart. For
every blow Neo blocks, five more hit their marks until --

Neo falls.

Panting, on his hands and knees, blood spits from his
mouth, speckling the white floor of the dojo.

MORPHEUS
How did I beat you?

NEO
You -- You're too fast.

MORPHEUS
Do you think my being faster,
stronger has anything to do with
my muscles in this place?

Neo is frustrated, still unable to catch his breath.

MORPHEUS
Do you believe that's air you are
breathing now?

Neo stands, nodding slowly.

MORPHEUS
Again.

Their fists fly with pneumatic speed.
49.

52 INT. MAIN DECK 52

Everyone is gathered behind Tank, watching the fight,
like watching a game of Mortal Kombat.

MOUSE
Jeezus Keeerist! He's fast! Look
at his neural-kinetics! They're
way above normal!
Genres: ["Action","Science Fiction"]

Summary Neo undergoes combat training with Morpheus to better understand The Matrix and the rules of the system.
Strengths "The intense combat scene showcases Neo's determination to become stronger and understand the Matrix. The dialogue is thought-provoking and introduces the idea of bending and breaking the rules. The use of technology to analyze neural kinetics adds a unique element to the scene."
Weaknesses "Some of the dialogue may be a bit confusing for some viewers who are not familiar with the concept of The Matrix. The scene is also quite long and can drag on at times."
Critique The scene is well-written and engaging. It effectively sets up the constant conflict between Neo and Morpheus, showcasing Neo's growth as a character. The use of jujitsu and other martial arts training programs is a clever way to ground the story's sci-fi elements in real-world fighting techniques. The fight scenes are exciting and vividly described, allowing the reader to easily visualize the action. Overall, a strong scene that advances the story and develops the characters.
Suggestions Overall, this scene is well-written and engaging. However, there are a few suggestions to improve it:

1. The dialogue between Tank and Neo feels a bit forced and unnatural. Consider rephrasing their lines to sound more authentic and less scripted.

2. When Tank inserts the disc into Neo's supplement drive, there is a missed opportunity to show the physical process of the data transfer. Consider adding a visual detail to show how the information is being downloaded into Neo's mind.

3. The transition from the dojo back to the main deck could be smoother. Consider adding a brief transition shot or line of dialogue to make the change of setting less abrupt.

4. When everyone gathers to watch the fight on the main deck, it would be helpful to know who everyone is and why they are invested in this particular fight. Consider adding a brief line of dialogue or a visual cue to help clarify this.



Scene 20 - Training and Jumping
  • Overall: 7.5
  • Concept: 8
  • Plot: 7
  • Characters: 7
  • Dialogue: 6
53 INT. DOJO 53

Morpheus begins to press